That fat bird just drove past 
 in t'car shouting,
"How much do you charge with 
 t'camera on, then?"
Do you know what I mean? 
 On t'phone.
You get 'em all night, every night.
Nine times out of ten I end up 
 shouting something back.
Like, "Same price your mum charges."
I've been given a fine 
 of £150 today.
How the hell do they expect me 
 to pay the fine?
As well as survive, and pay my rent,
 and feed myself.
My leg's fucked.
I did one in my ankle last week.
I must have fucking missed 
 in my leg.
That part of my life is done.
Over, finished with.
It is a complete turnaround for me.
I don't like coming down here, but 
 obviously, it's a risk we all take.
We don't know who we're getting in 
 the car with.
It could be a serial killer, 
 it could be a rapist,
it could be anybody you're getting 
 in the car with.
Obviously, like, now that 
 it's legalised,
girls feel more comfortable 
 going to the police,
knowing that they're not going to 
 get into trouble about things.
But it's still dangerous.
I had a guy get funny with me 
 the other night,
he was taking the piss, 
 basically, yeah?
He was getting hard, 
 then going limp,
getting hard and going limp, 
 and I said to him,
"Look, at the end of the day, 
 yeah, time is money.
"Do you know what I mean?
"You're just wasting my time, 
 me being here."
Then he got funny about it,
I ended up having to give him 
 a tenner back out of the money,
do you know what I mean?
For him to let me go.
It can be quite scary. Especially, 
 like, when it's dark, you know?
You can sense it and all.
A lot of the idiots drive around 
 being idiots,
pulling up to you 
 with their pants down,
wanking and stuff like that.
Driving around, just being idiots.
With their phones out, so you know 
 not to get in with them.
I can't get into my house, can I?
Somebody squirted something 
 through my lock, on my lock,
some kind of
filler, glue, well, 
 it's expanding foam.
I'm able to get in there.
All of this was covered, 
 I've managed to get that off,
but it's inside there, 
 do you know what I mean?
It is like a glue, isn't it?
I haven't got a clue who's done it, 
 or who would do it,
or for what reason.
Cos I haven't had any arguments 
 with anybody,
I haven't fallen out with nobody.
What if someone did it to me 
 while I was inside?
Do you know what I mean? 
 Would I be able to get out?
I wouldn't, would I?
It's like victimising, ain't it?
Am I being victimised?
None of my neighbours have heard 
 anything.
Nobody knows nowt. 
 Nobody knows nowt at all.
It's weird, isn't it?
It's really expensive to live here. 
 I've got to get at least £70 a day.
And that's just for me, 
 for a packet of cigarettes,
that's £3 cheap fags, that is.
And then two...
burger meals.
That's without me going for any, 
 like,
deodorant, a bit of lipstick...
It's not like I can just go and get 
 a property to rent,
when I'm living here,
and I'm having to pay every single 
 flipping day.
I can't sofa-surf and be partying, 
 be up and about all night, and...
I'm too old for all that now, 
 do you know what I mean?
I want to just feel safe, secure, 
 be in my own place,
do you know what I mean?
I've got nowhere to go, though, 
 really.
You never expect to be put in 
 this predicament at my age,
do you know what I mean?
All this should have been 
 done and dusted years ago.
When I were young.
I just feel like I'm going fucking 
 backwards, rather than forwards.
Every time I'm trying to go 
 fucking forward
it's like I'm getting pushed 
 backwards.
Fucking hell, stop crying, Bee.
It's fucked.
Hiya, love. Hiya, love. 
 Are you all right?
I needed to ask you something, 
 but I don't know if I can,
kind of...
What? I need your help.
What with? Majorly.
Majorly. What's up? 
 Come on, spit it out.
I need somewhere to stay, Adele.
Have you been kicked out?
Yeah. Fucking hell.
You can see I'm not going to 
 fucking see you on the street.
You look down.
I am, babe. I am.
When you need to come around, 
 come around.
There's a bedroom upstairs.
I'm in an all-right place, mentally,
 at the minute,
and I'm not going to see her on 
 the street, you know what I mean?
You get people that will meet you, 
 and they'll say,
"I want to look after you,
"and ra, ra, ra.
"You can come and stay with me, I'll
 make sure that you're all right,
"you won't need to go out to work."
All that sort of bullshit, 
 and then...
Just typical men, isn't it?
Do you know what I mean?
It's kind to be expected when you're
 a working girl, you just think,
"Oh, I'll bring a working girl 
 to live with me, and, yeah,
"I'll get sex free every day, 
 do you know what I mean?"
And it doesn't work like that.
He dropped me off in Holbeck, threw 
 all my bags out of the van,
and drove off and left me.
You live with them, 
 everything will be all right
for the first couple of weeks,
and then he'd ask me for 
 a cuddle and that,
so I'd give him a cuddle, 
 do you know what I mean?
He'd constantly be trying to touch 
 me up, do you know what I mean?
It happens a lot.
This is what gets me out, to 
 be honest.
If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't 
 come out of the house.
Unless I were going to work.
Obviously, when you're sofa surfing 
 and that,
the person who you're staying with 
 could kick you out at any moment.
I'm not letting him go, do you know 
 what I mean?
Just because no-one wants to house 
 me.
I love him to bits.
I don't need a man, really, I've got
 my dog, do you know what I mean?
It's responsibility, for me, 
 do you know what I mean?
Like, rather than blowing 
 all my money
on drugs and stuff like that, like,
I think of him first.
If I carry on like this,
I'll probably be fucking dead 
 in five years' time.
Where I'd want to be?
I'd love to
be 100% clean from drugs, and...
..have a life where I'm happy.
Where I know where 
 I'm going to be next week.
I know what day it is, and the date,
 you can ask me the day and date,
and I can tell you,
instead of not knowing what day of 
 the fucking week it is.
You know, getting up in the morning,
 like everyone else,
and going to bed on a night.
And...
..stuff like that.
I want to do it.
And I've got the potential to do it,
 it's just getting...
..my head on that track.
And...
..getting some backbone, and 
 some confidence
and some willpower.
You've just got to get to a point 
 where you're totally fed up,
and it's been a long time coming.
I'll turn 29 next month, and 
 I've been doing it since I was 16,
so it's been, like, 13 years.
My health's fucked.
And I'm just sick and tired of it.
I can't cope with it any more.
This ain't really a life.
It's just a fucking miserable 
 existence, innit?
Something I've got in my hopes, 
 for the near future,
to get back in contact with my dad 
 before Christmas period starts.
I love my dad. And...
..my dad doesn't deserve...
..the way that I've been, 
 do you know...
For a man, with his daughter,
this would probably be the worst 
 thing in the world, innit?
Methadone, it's not 
 an instant cure, is it?
It doesn't deal with 
 the mental side,
but it deals with 
 the physical side.
I'm not going to rattle any more. 
 I can wake up in the morning,
and I don't instantly feel ill.
So...
I've put other things first instead 
 of always putting drugs first.
I don't need drugs to be on my mind
as soon as I wake up in the morning,
 first thing.
10, 20, 30, 35, 40.
I go to the chemist once a day, and 
 I've got to drink it in the chemist.
What they do is, like,
if you start providing negative 
 tests on a regular basis,
it gets to a point where 
 they let you maybe go twice a week
to pick your methadone up,
so they'd give you, say, 
 three days, then four days.
But at the minute, it's supervised 
 daily in the chemist.
All right, thank you.
I suppose, in a way,
it's like the start of being a 
 bit...responsibility, do you know?
Of getting myself to the chemist 
 and making sure I pick it up.
I just want to get myself right.
CRIES: I've missed you so much.
She was doing really, really well 
 for a short period of time.
We gave her that little bit more 
 freedom,
that little bit more responsibility 
 for herself,
and we had fun.
We had a great time 
 while she was here.
I was getting my sister back.
As time went on, 
 she became quite snappy,
quite paranoid, that 
 everybody was on at her.
She would go into the bathroom 
 for long periods of time.
She would just go for a walk, and 
 she would say that she was going,
you know, to get something, and 
 come back without anything at all.
And then you could see in her face 
 that her complexion was changing,
she was becoming pale.
I was having knocks on the doors 
 from complete strangers,
my neighbours were telling me that 
 cars kept turning up at my address
when I wasn't here.
There was a lot of love, a lot of 
 support, a lot of help...
..but it just...
..wasn't enough.
The Holbeck area comes to life 
 at night, really.
It's not a fascinating place.
It's not glamorous or anything, 
 but it does come to life at night.
The police drive around, just to 
 make sure everything is all right,
but they're less on your case
if you're down within 
 the managed diamond,
the managed area.
People just think, 
 "Oh, a prostitute,
"they're doing it just for 
 the drugs and that,"
people don't actually realise that 
 there's reasons and stuff behind it.
That every different person 
 has got a story
as to why they've ended up 
 in the situation that they have,
do you know what I mean?
With Holbeck,
it's like there's never 
 no closing time.
It's like once you get in...
..it's hard to get out, 
 cos it just goes on.
I know that every 
 single time I work,
I'm putting my life in danger.
I'm playing Russian roulette 
 with my own life.
I'm angry with myself, 
 disgusted in myself.
I've got three beautiful children 
 that live with my mum,
because I can't look after them.
They should have been enough...
..but they weren't.
I do worry. What happens if 
 I'm getting in that car
and it's the very last car 
 I ever get in?
It could be, one day.
I've got to do it, haven't I? 
 Go out shagging men for money.
Dirty old men. I've got no choice, 
 really, have I, when I'm an addict?
Do you want business, love?
