From the River's property in
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, this
Poker Night in America.
[MUSIC]
Welcome to Poker Night in
America.
I'm your host Chris Hanson.
Tonight we're at Rivers in
Pittsburgh having assembled some
great
personalities to play at our
table.
The poker in this episode is
unpredictable, and
it's fitting that we are at
Rivers, because that's exactly
the card on
the board that drives a lot of
tonight's action.
So, let's get to the table on
Poker Night.
>> You don't have to put your
money-
>> Minimum buy in in the game is
5,000, the maximum is 20,000, as
you can see
some fluctuation from those
points for most of the players
at the table.
>> Greg taught me a little
something, he taught me 
eight five, eight five offsuit
was bad.
I have no idea how I win.
>> No suited, it was suited.
>> Schneids is gonna like, jam
it in with like the, whatever
the three five suited
or whatever, some spot where he
has a, you know.
>> I don't know how you guys
don't get all the money in.
>> I had the three five of
clubs.
>> Schneider what are you
winning right now by the way?
>> I don't know.
It's, you know it's not
important, I'm here for the
fellowship.
>> Because I think if you're
losing you're a different
player.
>> Are you kidding me?
>> He's never been a loser
in poker.
>> No no no, I don't think Phil,
hold on I'll translate.
I don't think he means your
demeanor, I think he means you
play worse.
>> Oh.
>> Yeah.
>> Right? That's what you're
saying.
>> About 80% of the world plays
worse when they're losing.
>> And I, I'm one of the 80%.
>> You're with the majority for
once in your life.
>> Yeah.
>> His demeanor's changed a
little bit.
>> What's that?
>> Your demeanor changes a
little bit when you're losing.
>> Tom's still a fun guy.
>> You've never seen it,
you've never seen that.
>> Well not on Poker Night in
America but I've seen it else
where.
[LAUGH]
>> What happened to the dealer
tip?
>> Jennifer Tilly's got a flush
draw.
>> No I gave him 50.
>> Oh ok, I just want to make
sure that we are fair here.
>> Yeah he got a tip.
>> I'm not trusting you anymore
Tom.
>> Listen to the winners
complain about tipping the
dealer.
>> Who complained?
>> We just wanna make sure the
losers, I want to make sure
the losers are tipping.
>> Yeah exactly.
>> You're still cute Phil, with
that smile.
>> Thank you.
>> You're welcome.
[LAUGH]
>> He's a little short.
His answers are very short.
[LAUGH]
>> I loved it.
>> When he get, when he's losing
his answers are-
>> Oh that was very clever.
Very clever.
>> I think that's what she's
going for.
>> Yankees fan or Mets fan?
>> I'm Yankees fan.
I'm actually.
>> Why do you sound depressed
about that?
>> I hate to tell ya, I
shouldn't say this in
Pittsburgh.
>> All in from Glantz, and a
very quick call from Jennifer
Tilly.
>> King high.
>> Wow they just-
>> I wouldn't announced that it-
>> Nice hand Matt!
>> When did you guys get-
>> You're down only 3,500,
I don't see how you couldn't
get it all in.
>> Hold on they got it all in
right here.
[LAUGH]
>> Uh oh. Uh oh.
>> I had your out.
>> That hand was great hand.
>> Should straddled Matt, you're
tilted Matt.
>> What hand?
>> Should of.
>> The hand that we just wa,
witnessed there.
>> Yeah.
>> Matt played awesome.
>> Waited till she got there.
>> Chicks and snacks.
[LAUGH]
>> Oh they are the 5k-ers
>> Oh a different Jennifer
Tilly now.
>> Oh yeah, she's throwing away,
she threw away her small blind.
>> Jen I want you to play with
me and Phil.
>> Jen, if Jen's 5k loser she
>> I get all quite, I gotta
check my twitter to see if
anyone's laughing at me.
>> Do you like your McKalin
by the way?
>> Order another drink.
[LAUGH]
>> When I'm winning, I'm
like, I can afford to fold this.
They're not even connected.
[LAUGH]
>> That's funny.
>> Oh yeah, sorry.
>> Deeb and Hellmuth both hit
the queen.
>> Well I have, I have napkins
here if anyone wants a napkin.
>> Six.
>> Schneider hit nothing so
he'll be folding.
Shaun Deeb also with the flush
draw.
All in from Deeb and a quick
call from Helmuth.
>> I have a very good hand, but
I do not think I am ahead.
>> I got a queen.
Wow, you have me almost dead.
Nice hand.
>> The Helmuth snap call with
the worst of it.
>> Yeah, no I snapped,
I watched you play the last few
sessions and
I just couldn't wait to get top
pair and snap you off.
Good lord.
>> Think that's the winner.
>> How does Deeb run?
I mean, no one's ever drawn
dead.
>> I've never got Phil put in
3k that bad, with-
>> Never.
>> No one ever just draws dead
though, like the ten rolls off
and they're drawing dead.
>> Look at the dust come out of
that envelope.
[LAUGH]
>> Who recommended that?
Gavin?
>> No, some guy downstairs.
>> I want that.
>> Gavin hasn't had greens in
him in years.
>> Gavin recommended for
the chicken fingers.
>> Do we get to order our,
our dinner thing, food or do
they just have it?
>> I have a lot of fruits in my
liquor diet.
>> I wanna eat it at dinner
time-
>> Peach Schnapps, grapefruit
Vodka.
[LAUGH]
>> No straddle, right?
>> No straddle.
>> If somebody want to film a
very good documentary.
The eating and drinking habits
of Gavin Smith would be one that
would probably win awards.
>> I got a full-
>> What are you eating that too?
>> Yeah.
>> Can I get a, wait did you,
can I get what Gavin's.
Ashley, is that her name?
>> Ashley.
>> Ashley.
>> Can this ugly guy here get a
Greyhound?
>> You're gonna go Greyhounds,
nice.
>> Yeah.
>> Greggy let's go.
>> For fun.
>> I gotta get a picture of your
makeup, you guys together,
eventually.
Because Phil would really like
that.
>> It is great makeup.
>> It's really good.
>> Yup.
>> Yeah the, the guy was good.
>> Gavin Smith got this all
started.
He hits top pair and bets 425.
>> I love you so much I folded
>> Thank you.
>> But I got the Killa.
>> How could you not, how could
you not love Gavin?
>> I got J Tilla the Killa
coming.
>> Well he, he was a gentleman
enough to give me his coat you
know.
>> He was, but
notice he didn't put it on for
ya.
>> Too hot.
I tried to, I tried to, then she
took too long.
>> She felt uncomfortable.
>> Another nine comes on the
turn and so now Tilly is way
ahead.
>> Couldn't reach his cards.
>> Nine.
>> Queen ten of diamonds is
gonna cost Smith a whole bunch
of money.
[MUSIC]
We've got more from Rivers
Pittsburgh when we come back.
Poker Night in America is being
brought to you by 888poker.com. 
Where the world plays online.
>> Thanks for coming back to
Poker Night in America,
we return to the action here at
Rivers Pittsburgh.
>> Linda, no more, no more
woman power, no more lady power.
>> You just got a new order.
>> You beat me twice in
really big hands where I put
money in where I should not of
put it in.
>> Where's Smashley?
>> Now when I look at you,
I'm reminded of my own failure.
So sorry, I like your ring and I
like your shoes, but you are now
on the target list.
>> Uh-oh, uh-oh I've joined Tom.
>> She's number two, you're
number one because you're more
annoying than she is.
>> Limp in from Hellmuth with
a suited ace jack.
>> Who dresses better?
>> Well dressing, dressing
is like-
>> Is that a limp?
>> Not from me.
[LAUGH] 
>>Really, I'm more annoying?
>> I wish I'd known that you
were limping because I love
limping, I love limping and
getting around to the last
person who doesn't-
>> Sir limp a lot.
>> Where the hell did Smashley
go?
>> Smashley.
>> Who is Smashley?
>> But no raise?
>> Smashley's the waitress.
>> Here she comes, here she
comes.
>> Smashley.
>> She's here.
>> Smashley.
>> Smashley I'm gonna need
another one of these suckers.
>> Kenney Baden raises with
eight ten.
>> Oh, God, I want to do it so
bad, but I won't, cuz I have
no stones.
No stones unturned.
I have no idea what I have.
Sometimes you gotta, when you
play with the big boys, you
gotta step up your game.
>> Yeah. You didn't know that?
>> Well I just learned it today.
>> Couple of spades is really
good for Mueller.
He now has a straight and a
flush draw with his four deuce
of spades.
>> Why do you not have the
loudmouth thing on your hat
anymore?
>> I just changed it.
I changed it.
>> Mueller bet 300 and
Hellmeuth immediately made it
600 with top pair, top kicker.
>> The best donuts in the world.
Fractured Prune.
>> Really?
>> I'm all in.
>> They're incredible.
>> Whoa.
I think, I think somebody's
trapping.
>> Will we get to see our
first Phil Helmuth blow up on
Poker Night in America?
>> Can we run it twice?
>> Can we run it twice here or
once?
>> You can run it twice.
Twice Phil?
>> Yeah, twice is good.
I wish you would have reraised
before the flop.
[CROSSTALK]
>> Trust me, I know.
>> Oh, he's on your list?
He's on my list too.
>> Who's on whose list?
>> You're on my list and-
>> Cuz I'm gonna hit it on the
turn.
>> I'm on everybodys list.
>> I feel like you're gonna
hit it on the turn.
>> Yeah, I should've waited, hit
it, and then just, donk.
>> Ooh I like that.
>> There it is, I knew it, I
should've waited, and then just
went donk.
>> I thought you were gonna hit
it on the turn also.
>> No more spades, no more
spades.
>> Yeah, I hope he gets another
spade or a seven.
>> Ace or something.
>> Oh!
>> They are running it twice so
Mueller wins the first one.
That's why he didn't want
anymore spades to come on
the river.
>> Called his 300 and just, you
know.
>> Yeah slide those 2 cards up.
>> There you go.
>> And now do, yup.
>> Ohhhhh.
>> Can't hit an ace, he can't
hit an ace.
[CROSSTALK]
>> A little six ball rolls off
and that's not good.
>> Looks like a
choppity-doppity to me.
>> It does.
>> Oh and the six comes on
the river to give Mueller the
$9200 win.
>> Wait, you folded ace 10
on that board?
>> Yeah.
>> I had the, he pulled me off
the hand with the ace ten,
isn't that sick?
>> Let's frame Tommy Schneids.
>> It was, it was a good bet
because I couldn't put him off
having jacks, or uh.
>> Linda let's frame, let's
frame Tommy Schneids for some
serious crime.
>> Oh and then he could come
back and hire me with all the
money he took from me.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh my god, you know what?
I think all of you guys should
like, give him your money.
>> Yes.
>> Then we can frame him, and
then I could get his money, then
I could thank you all.
>> Or we could actually have him
kill a man.
>> You have to get a pretty wide
frame.
>> Now I wouldnt', as a lawyer
I can't tell you, you-
>> What do you think about,
Andi, the bachelorette?
What do you think about her
lawyer abilities?
>> I don't know Andi the
bachelorette.
>> She's a very good lawyer, but
she's also the bachelorette and
she looks mighty nice in a
bikini.
>> Really?
>> We are fascinated with Andi
the bachelorette.
>> Real, real, really?
>> Andi Dorfman.
You don't know her?
I thought all you lawyers ran in
the same circles.
>> Andi Dorfman?
>> The bachelorette from the
last season.
>> Somehow, somehow I don't
perceive myself as being in the
bachelorette, you know.
>> You're not like a lawyer
in a bikini type lawyer?
>> Not right now.
[LAUGH] 
That's for sure.
>> I think you can increase
your, your hourly rate if you do
that, right?
>> I don't know about that, I
don't know about that.
You know, there's one thing
about like,
people in big trouble that kinda
want a lawyer with a little
gravitas.
>> Right.
Ooh, nice word!
Nice word!
>> Another word we don't know.
>> What was the other word we
said?
>> Nolan you're a writer, do
you know what that means?
>> Chastise, chastise.
>> Can we use words that hockey
players understand here.
>> I check, check, check.
>> Check, check, check.
[LAUGHING]
>> I mean rob, tizzle.
>> Boards, boards.
Hat trick, hat trick.
>> There we go. Who? Oh she bet
3, ok I got it, I got it.
>> Who's it on?
>> Me.
>> Can we get a clock?
>> J Tills, that's your new
name.
I'm J Tills, I'm T Schneids,
you're J Tills.
Who gave her that nickname, J
Tilla the Killa?
>> I, I don't know that.
>> You don't know that trivia
question?
>> I don't know that trivia
question.
>> I like J Till's a better one.
>> Who's got two thumbs and gave
her the name J Tilla the Killa?
>> Gavin!
>> This guy!
[LAUGH]
>> Speaks French, do you speak
French too?
>> No.
>> No?
>> No, but he's-
>> I speak ménage à trois.
>> But he can breath fire.
>> He has a single mind down
here, let me tell you.
Let's see.
>> Yeah I noticed that.
>> Noticed that?
>> No I misread the board, for
real.
I thought it came deuce five
king.
[LAUGH]
>> How do I get screwed over?
>> And I was gonna try to bluff
you.
[LAUGH]
>> I know you were, that's why.
>> Give him 200 change.
>> Let's get it over with.
Come on now.
>> So sick, she could have 4 5
of diamonds.
>> There is old-school Phil, I
love it.
>> What did you call him,
fold-school Phil?
>> Yeah.
>> More of our invite-only cash
game when we come back.
Closed captioning is brought
to as a public service by Poker
Night in America.
Welcome back to Poker Night in
America.
Here's the updated chip count.
Phil Hellmuth, I think it's safe
to say,
is not having the best of nights
here in Pittsburg.
He's already down 14,000.
And the biggest winner early on
in Day 1 here is Shaun Deeb.
>> Free Willy.
>> Poker Night in America
brought to you by 888 Poker,
where the world plays online.
>> Whatevers-
>> The top shelf of free Scotch.
>> Yeah the best Scotch that I
don't have to pay for it.
>> The McKalin two.
>> She only has like 12,000 a
game, doesn't wanna pay 40 for a
Scotch.
>> That's right. [NOISE]
>> Oh.
>> Oh.
[LAUGH]
>> Here it w.
>> Hey.
>> 150.
>> Here comes.
>> Oh no.
>> I was hoping for the limp.
>> Where are we? At Rivers
Casino.
>> Uh oh.
>> You really just-
>> Yeah.
>> 625.
>> What, it's like the first
time he's ever had the best
hand, so
he wants to win 700 from me.
Even when he's, even when he's.
>> He plays so bad, he plays so
bad.
He's trying to give me money.
>> I mean it's clear you're not
folding there.
>> Who didn't know that, I mean,
he's so bad.
>> I mean.
>> Really.
>> Matt, you're playing great.
[LAUGH]
>> Who were you hoping for?
[LAUGH]
>> Who are we hoping for?
I just folded for 700 or $800.
>> What's amazing, what's
amazing is everybody will put
Matt Glantz in a game, as high
as he wants to play.
>> Oh, a great flop for you.
>> Well, he's not drawing
dead yet, there's two, there's
the three of hearts
and the three of spades left.
>> 775.
>> Let's see an eight, let's see
an eight.
>> Let's see an eight.
>> And Matt Glantz is drawing
dead.
>> Deadski.
>> Phil Helmuth has doubled up,
he now has 1600 in front of him.
>> You finally waited for the
nuts you've got all your money
in.
>> Phil gets the nuts all the
time, how does he do it?
>> You're too young for these
things.
>> Yes.
>> What'd you have Schneids?
Tens again?
>> Two tens, yeah.
>> Two ten balls.
>> I feel like she could have
had ace king though.
>> Only way to find out there
is to ship it.
>> Shipsky and Hutch.
>> Shippity dippity.
Give the kids at home a thrill.
>> Tilly made it 300.
Glantz raises with six five
of clubs to 800.
>> Shippity dippity.
>> Foldity boldity.
>> This is not an easy game to
beat, I can tell you that.
Phil you're right.
I should not win.
I should lose in this line-up
every time.
>> I'm out, I'm folding.
Showing Gavin it.
>> No I paid you-
>> Turn a new leaf.
>> Holy [BLEEP].
>> Nobody knows how you win.
>> Get the make-up off Mueller,
we want the old Muller back.
[LAUGH]
>> This a new school
Muller?
>> Just for one hand.
>> What the [BLEEP].
Well I mean Matt showed-
>> Hey, hey, watch the language.
>> That's Canadian, it's not
even a swear word where I come
from.
>> Is that right?
Ok, I'll go with that.
>> It's how we talk to each
other.
>> Pass the puck [BLEEP].
>> Right.
>> Exactly.
>> Hey.
You have no idea how funny you
look.
>> I don't, and I'm smiling,
Zombies aren't even supposed to
smile.
>> You're gonna watch this show,
and you're gonna go, what was I
doing.
>> Are you doing a zombie, a
zombie selfie right now?
>> What was I thinking.
>> Well no, just looking at
myself in the mirror.
I do look rediculous.
>> Yes you do, you do, you do.
>> I didn't realize I looked-
>> How can you win looking
that way is what I want to know.
>> All in.
>> An all in from Glantz.
>> Look at Matt Glantz.
>> Matt Glantz is in a pot.
>> Matt Glantz is crazy.
>> Want me to get him a
different pot?
>> Same I mean like there's a
possibility that he'll get sued
after this pot.
>> Matt gets Kenney Baden to
fold and maybe that's what's
gonna turn Matt Glantz night
around.
>> See he had [BLEEP] again,
I can't believe you folded that.
>> He got there on the turn.
>> Why are you stirring the pot?
>> You had it?
>> Flash a six.
>> Don't want you to steal my
big blind, care a lot about $50.
>> There you have it, it's okay.
>> A limp again under the gun
from Helmuth, second time we've
seen him do that tonight.
>> Oh, I think we're having a
dinner break really soon.
>> Schneiders tens raise to 400.
>> Yeah he brought it out.
>> That's a Phil Hellmuth limp
by the way.
>> You guys need to protest,
they're kicking me off after
dinner.
>> Are they?
>> Gonna lose the action.
>> Who's coming in?
Depends.
>> I don't know.
>> Ah Fuller and the girl who
was playing earlier.
>> No Matt Russell is coming in.
>> Two people that won't play
the hands I play, I can promise
you that.
>> I don't know.
Turning Stone.
He played some hands.
>> Who?
>> Matt.
>> Oh if we are going to go
based on Turning Stone Matt was
clearly the worst player in the
world.
>> Five deuce?
>> Yeah.
>> Ace ten for Shaun Deeb.
In the big blind.
>> So bad that Gavin took the
time to write an article on it.
>> Oh did you?
>> 3 page article.
>> I didn't write it, I didn't
write it.
>> Oh.
>> Obviously.
>> He doesn't know how to spell,
but-
He probably talked into the
microphone.
>> No, I talked into the phone,
somebody else wrote the thing.
>> Here we go.
Look at this. 
Wow.
>> He checked, I can't let him
look he's soul reading right
now.
Soul reading, hold on, he's soul
reading.
>> Heart check.
>> Ah, okay.
You could have ace queen black
or something.
>> You get tens every hand.
>> You have tens again.
>> Nice hand.
>> Old school Schneider.
>> I mean.
>> I know you're ready to get
me all the time Phil, I know
that.
> It's not old school Phil.
>> It's okay to be current Phil
once in awhile.
He does pretty good.
>> Current Phil does alright
too.
>> Flush.
>> Phil wins.
>> Oh.
>> So much for Phil Helmuth's
come back, Tom Schneider will
nip that butt.
We will continue Day 1 one next
time, and Phil Helmuth has a
bunch of work to do.
And so far, Shaun Deeb, Jennifer
Tilly, and
Linda Kenney Baden off to a very
good start.
When we come back on Poker Night
in America,
we will step away from the table
and remember a lost friend.
Poker Night in America is being
brought to you by 888poker.com. 
Where the world plays online.
>> Welcome back to Poker Night
in America.
We'd like to end tonight's
episode by honoring the memory
of
a member of the Poker Night in
America family.
Who left us way too soon after a
short battle with cancer.
Joe Sartori was the guy that
would give you the shirt off of
his back.
He was the guy that everyone
liked and respected.
A member of our team since the
very beginning, Joe handled
floor direction for
the show, calling every action
at the table and guiding the
flow of the game.
He was the utility player, the
glue, someone who could step
into any job and
get it done right the first
time.
And so, in memory of Joe,
here are a few words from those
who worked with him and knew him
well.
>> For those of you who do not
remember Joe Sartori,
he was the person that was
standing there watching.
Every single hand on Poker
Night in America, when it was
filmed,
wherever it was, Joe Sartori was
there at table side giving his
command presence and
his sense of authority to that
game.
>> You know, Joe was always like
a fun person to be around and
always pleasant and, that's what
I'll always remember about him.
He had such a love for life.
And he really enjoyed everything
that he did.
One of the things that I would
say that he enjoyed was being
part of the show.
I mean that was his thing.
He really devoted all of his
time and effort to the show.
And I wish today, he would be
here to see success of the show
now.
>> He was very passionate.
About what we were doing at
Poker Night in America.
He was very helpful in getting
some of our first events off the
ground.
It's interesting to see some of
those events now,
because you can see Joe in the
background doing his job At the
final table.
Joe had a lot of stamina.
Like he could stand here and not
complain and do it for
10 hours straight and never want
to give up the role.
It's a hard job to do but he
could, he would do it for hours
and hours.
>> The thing is like about Joe,
is like he never took credit for
anything.
Anytime He would do something he
never wanted to be in the
spotlight.
It was all about what's good for
everybody else, not what's good
for Joe.
>> That's why a lot of people
don't know the name Joe Sartori.
They know a lot of the places
he's worked, a lot of the big
things that he's done in
this game, but they don't really
know Joe Sartori,
because he never put himself in
the spotlight.
If the spotlight was here, Joe
Santoro, was always right here.
>> He wanted like, this show to
shine and he never took any
credit for
it even though he was a big part
of the show, something like
that, you know?
I really do feel like Joe was
here with us now.
>> Joe, was around action and
gambling and poker his whole
life, and he
was truly one of the nicest
guys I've ever met.
Like he just, there was just
nobody I knew that, that didn't
like him.
And who, who wants more than
that?
>> To our friend Joe.
We all miss him, and he's a big
part of the reason In this show
was such a success, so let's
have a shot in his honor.
>> To Joe.
>> Rest in peace, Joe.
>> Washington Apple Joe.
[APPLAUSE]
