-Please welcome Ariana Grande!
-♪♪ Hey, hey-hey, hey ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
♪♪ Hey, hey-hey, hey ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
-Pinky promise That's what
I'm talking about right there.
♪♪♪♪
-♪♪ Hey, hey-hey, hey ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
-[ Speaks indistinctly ]
-[ Laughs ]
-Thank you for having me.
I'm so nervous.
-You are?
-Yeah, I don't --
This is my --
I don't speak.
It's my first time speaking
in front of people.
-Yeah, you've never --
That's so interesting.
You've never been
on a talk show.
-I've never spoken --
-How?
-I've never talked
on a talk show.
-Yeah.
How does it feel?
-Ever. It feels really --
I feel vulnerable.
-No, no, no, no.
-I feel so weird.
-But you're doing a great job.
Isn't she talking
like a person that talks?
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I can talk!
-All right. It's time
for the "Ew!" speed round.
Okay?
Here we go.
-Okay.
[ Laughter ]
-Hummus.
-Ew!
-Yeah.
-Neck pillows.
-Ew.
-Yeah!
-Venti lattes.
-Ew! I prefer grande.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪♪♪
-So -- All right.
So, Britney Spears,
who we all know,
and "Mary Had a Little Lamb."
-All right.
-Which is pretty -- Yeah.
So, Roots, can you give a little
music here for Britney Spears?
♪♪♪♪
-[ As Britney Spears ]
♪♪ Well ♪♪
[ Laughter ]
♪♪ Way, ah ♪♪
♪♪ Oh ♪♪
♪♪ Little lamb ♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Normal voice ] That's enough.
-I got to meet your dog.
-Yes. Toulouse.
-Toulouse.
-He's -- Yeah.
-Do you travel everywhere
with him?
-I do. He comes on tour.
He loves the tour bus.
He sleeps very well.
Hi, baby.
-Hey. Hi, Toulouse.
[ Laughs ]
Is he -- Is he a trained dog?
-No.
He just gets it.
-He just gets it.
Yeah.
-Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
I think it's 'cause I speak
to him all the time,
and he kind of just gets it.
[ Laughter ]
-I mean, look. He knows where
the camera is and everything.
-Yeah, he gets it.
-Well, he's a famous dog
'cause --
[ Laughter ]
He just found the camera.
What food do I hate the most?
-Ooh.
Ooh, I don't know.
-Yeah, you do.
♪♪♪♪
I'm putting the vibes out there.
♪♪♪♪
[ Markers scribbling ]
♪♪♪♪
I barf just writing it.
All right. I'm gonna show
my answer. Don't look.
Ready?
-[ Gasps ]
-Oh, you didn't write it yet.
You just got it?
-You know, because I --
Go ahead.
-You got my vibe?
All right.
You got my vibe now.
-I think. Maybe.
-Okay, this is great.
All right.
-Go ahead. You go.
-Don't look.
Ready?
[ Drumroll ]
-Blerf!
[ Laughter ]
-Blerf.
-I look -- I tried to look, but
I'm blind, so it doesn't --
I couldn't see,
so it didn't work.
-Let's see what your answer was.
[ Drumroll ]
[ Audience groans ]
-"Mustard."
What? Mustard?
Mustard is so delicious!
It's yellow, it's got, like,
spices in it,
it's vinegary.
Mayonnaise -- You know why
I don't like it?
It reminds me of pus.
-Yeah, I don't like it, either.
[ Audience groans ]
-Oh, stop.
-Oh, this is a good one.
Who was my first
celebrity crush?
[ Laughter ]
-A little --
A little embarrassing.
A little embarrassing.
Ah, you know.
[ Chuckles ]
Ha. Yeah, to actually write it
down, I mean --
[ Laughing ] Everyone --
Everyone knows who it could be.
Hee hee hee-hee-hee!
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Clears throat ] All right.
You show it to your --
Maybe I'll show mine first.
-Okay. Yeah, go ahead.
-Ready?
Don't look.
[ Laughter ]
All right. Now show yours.
[ Audience shouts ]
[ Sad tuba notes play ]
[ Applause ]
-Is that bad?
-We also have a very, very
special guest here tonight
that I'm very excited --
I have not met.
-My nonna!
-Your nonna is here.
-Yeah,
well, my whole family's here,
but she was really looking
forward to meeting you.
-Hey, there's your bro!
There's your mom,
there's your brother,
there's nonna!
-I don't know
if you saw my tweet,
but she mentioned
that you're the only man
who she'll stay up
past 11:30 for.
-[ Chuckling ] That's what
I'm talking about!
That's right.
That's what I'm --
[ Cheers and applause ]
-And -- And when I told her
that I was gonna take her here
to meet you, she was like,
"Oh, I gotta start planning
my outfit."
And I was like,
"Nonna, what do you think
is gonna come from this?"
And she goes, "You never know.
I'm very naughty."
[ Laughter ]
-[ Laughs ]
Hey.
-Whoo!
-I want to embarrass your mom
a little bit, if you don't mind.
-Oh, she's -- Yeah,
she's gonna [bleep] her pants.
-Because I love you.
[ Laughter ]
Well, besides that.
No, no, no.
Mom.
-No, she knows what's coming
already,
and she's really gonna --
Yeah.
-This is a video.
This is -- You played the album
for the first time --
-I'm so sorry, Mom.
-Oh, no!
-Yeah.
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
This is a video --
This is -- Of course, your mom
is the most honest person
in the world.
-Yeah, of course.
I mean, she'll always
be the first person to --
I hear her, like, "No!"
-You hear her right now.
But she's also honest --
-When it sucks.
-...when she loves it,
so here's a video.
Your mom was driving.
-When it's bad or if it's good,
you'll always get the most
honest reaction from your mom.
-You played
the album for your mom,
and here's your mom's reaction.
This is genuine, and she didn't
know she was being videotaped.
-Oh. Oh, my God!
-[ Laughs ]
-Oh. Whoa!
No, Ariana, I'm not kidding.
That's the best song
I ever heard!
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Holy [bleep]
[ Laughter,
cheers and applause ]
-That's the first review
of the record.
-This is the one that counts.
-[ Laughs ]
-All right.
-Are you all right?
-What is my most embarrassing
bad habit?
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
Why did you write it that fast?
Like, all the other ones,
you really thought about it.
You know, and then this one,
you just -- Lookit.
You're writing
like three sentences.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪♪♪
Oh, my gosh.
-[ Laughs ]
-[ Chuckles ]
All right.
Let me show mine first.
[ Laughter ]
Should I show mine first?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go ahead.
-My most embarrassing
bad habit is...
[ Drumroll ]
...laughing.
I laugh too much.
-No.
I like your laugh.
You're good in that department.
This was the one.
[ Laughter ]
[ Sad tuba notes play ]
-[ Laughs ]
That's right, 'cause I'm
your second crush!
I got you, girl!
-[ As Christina Aguilera ]
♪♪ The-e-e-e ♪♪
♪♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, oh ♪♪
♪♪ The wheels on the bus go ♪♪
♪♪ They go 'round,
they go 'round ♪♪
♪♪ They, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh ♪♪
♪♪ They go a, go a,
arou-u-u-u-nd ♪♪
♪♪ They go 'round and 'round,
oh, hey ♪♪
♪♪ Wheels on the bus ♪♪
♪♪ They go ♪♪
♪♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪♪
♪♪ They go, oh, oh, oh ♪♪
♪♪ They go, they go ♪♪
♪♪ A-a-a-a-aro-o-o-o-und ♪♪
♪♪ Oh, oh, oh, hey, hey ♪♪
Ha!
♪♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪♪
-[ Laughs ]
-♪♪ Ooh, ooh, ha ♪♪
-[ Laughing ] Oh!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪♪♪
-♪♪ Unh ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
♪♪ Yeah ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
