

Possibly Jack Again

by

Pringle McCloy

Copyright: Possibly Jack Again

Category: Literary

Innovation, Science and Economic Development Canada

March, 2018

1142891

# Prologue

Jillian's wedding day began quietly, so quietly I had too much time to think. ' _What the hell? If she keeps up this pace she'll have married every loser in town in this very same church. Hmm. Let me think. She almost married Leonard, the aging English prof with bony ankles and hairy toes and lacking even the decency to wear socks. Yuk. But Jack fixed that little problem, since Jack could fix almost anything with his freshly-laundered money. He'd merely bagged Leonard, he bragged in public, for cheap too, since he'd spent money more foolishly on the ugliest hooker in town. Adios, Leonard. Then, for rebound reasons, Jillian married Richard the Cleaver, a Triad drug lord who didn't quite make it to the conjugal bed. So, then there was me, Charlie Hampton, handsome PI. I was saved because she didn't actually like me, aside from the fact that our preacher was a bum Jack picked up on the Tahiti beach._

There was also Marco, the shady lawyer, about as crooked as the Upper Levels Highway and twice as slippery. While glassy-eyed Marco had saved her hinny in court – due to numerous parole violations for chaining herself to trees – she decided at the altar that they shouldn't spend their lives in litigation, since they had nothing else in common. Tout finis.

Anyway, there I was again, standing at the church doors dragging on a cigarette and watching the parade of collector cars arrive. Jack's gang was cruising in __ led by Sharp-dressed Tony, Sammy, and the lot. Soon they took their places beside Jack's West Van cronies, his crooked cops, and myriad thugs with no better place to be. I mean, who could resist a lavish reception at the _Pan Pacific_ _Hotel_ with free booze and high-class hookers thrown in just for fun? Jack spared no expense where his boys were concerned, especially the retirement group including such notables as Billy the Bookie, the youngest at seventy-three. Billy, the Hugh Heffner of his time, drove a Lamborghini and flaunted a harem of buxom blonds trailing along behind him, jiggling their wares. I hoped to be just like Billy when I was seventy-three.

"She's really marrying a loser this time," a voice behind me said.

I turned to face my lifelong best bud, Willy Chan. If you haven't met Willy yet I should tell you that you're not likely going to meet a better-looking guy anywhere, except maybe me. But while I have slick dark hair and eyes the color of a swimming pool on the sunniest summer day, Willy has round brown eyes and shiny dark, shoulder-length hair that he tosses just to drive women wild. Whiter teeth than Willy's come only on toothpaste commercials and they glisten when he smiles. And Willy has a lot to smile about, having amassed a real estate empire from Triad money and, as a double agent, working for Jack. He flipped his hair.

"Could Jillian get any lower? I mean who is she kidding? I think she's doing this just to rile her dad."

I nodded. "Could be. You never know with Jillian. She likes to get married a lot."

He punched me on the arm. "Well, don't get any crazy ideas. It will all be over soon." With that he sauntered away.

"Amster!" a familiar voice hollered. "I'm here now. We can bust this wedding up!"

Little Jackie Chan came scurrying behind me. He was all spiffed up in wedding attire while his bristly dark hair, three inches high, stayed glued in place by gel. Including the straw-stack he clocked in at five foot three. Jackie and I had a partnership dating back to his arrival in Vancouver fresh from Beijing. "When do I need to go out and come back in hollering 'Bomb! Bomb in church!"

"Not this time, Wildman. I think this time we'll just let it go. Karma will take care of it. Karma always does."

"Karma? Who's her?"

I smiled. "She's kind of a revenge lady. She's mean."

He nodded. "Ok, Amster. So, you have a girl to fight for you now. You got a bwoken arm?"

"Sort of. I'm broken in a few places. And all of them hurt."

He showed me his downturned mouth. "This isn't any fun, Amster. Bombs are fun." He left to find his pew.

Julia came along just then, lovely Julia in a tight-fitting taupe suit and with her sleek dark hair twisting into a knot. Jack's older sister by a year kissed me on both cheeks. "You look just dreadful, you know. You should likely be home in bed." A woman of integrity, Julia stayed in shape by running between boardrooms closing deals. And she'd adopted Tommy, Richard and Jada's son, but that's another story. "Can you believe it's been five years since Beijing, Charlie? Since we got our precious Tommy?"

I believed it. I still had the wounds. And to remind me was our precious Tommy who, at age nineteen, looked very much like his handsome dad, with chiseled Asian features and the sharp eyes of a falcon. He had the height of his Grandpa Jack, too, but a much kinder heart than either Richard or Jack. His heart he got from Jada.

Tommy was seated with Billy Chan and the two turned to wave. A lump stuck in my throat. You see, I couldn't remember much before Jack pushed us into the Triad wars. I couldn't remember whether I'd been happy or sad or just incredibly bored. But suddenly there was Leo, Willy's boss, who didn't swim so well in the ocean dead. Willy stole the heroin shipment, Jack went to jail, and Richard _the Cleaver_ Chang arrived to avenge the crime. Following that shit-show, Willy and I were off to Beijing where I met and fell in love with lovely Jada. End of story. I brought Tommy home and he was ours to keep. A Jones. Anyone doubting that fact would need to fight me to the death and I fight dirty. Often with a Gloc 9.

Jack tried to flatten me with his hip. "Can you believe it, Hamster? She's marrying stupid."

"What? Again?"

"Well, this time it's worse than ever. This guy's so stupid he can't even tie his own shoelaces."

I studied my Italian loafers. "I never have to worry about that myself. But I heard via the vi that Jillian's future husband is a nice guy."

He snorted. "And who exactly likes nice? Nobody! It's like when you say someone is pleasant. So, what does a pleasant guy do? Pee sitting down? Or maybe he holds his farts until the top of his head blows off. I mean, does anyone ever remember nice? Grandmothers maybe. But that's about it."

I smiled. Jack was on a roll.

"I just can't believe she's marrying down. I might have to change my will to protect her, you know. Leave her nothing. So he can't murder her for my money."

"Nice. She'll respect you for that."

He shook his head. "You used to be a lot more fun, Hamster. A lot more." He bolted.

The rustling and bustling of French organza announced the arrival of the bride and her maids and the church went still. She was so damn beautiful! Even through the misty veil I could see her remarkable face, her round hazel eyes, her straight determined nose. She took her father's arm and they started down the aisle.

# Chapter One

Flashback: How we got into the mess.

Jack's house in British Properties perched on the mountainside four stories deep. Sprawling behind lush hedges the concrete fortress hosted thick black doors, electronic surveillance, and a garage for myriad cars. Inside, a sea of hardwood flowed down the stairways like a log run on the Fraser while crystal chandeliers lit the halls. To get to Jack's domain I typically followed the trail of artifacts - from lewd to lewder statue - to the very end of the hall. The library was where Jack hid from the Jones women and he also hid on me, except when he wanted something. Then he tore the town apart to find me.

About Jack's statues... Most were benign in nature but I had a problem with David in the foyer alcove. David didn't like me. Not that he'd verbalized such, it was just his swaying back and forth and threatening to fall over and crush me whenever I showed up at 33 Terrace Place.

"It's penis envy," I told him upon arriving at Jack's house on a rainy Sunday afternoon in April. "You've been shriveling, buddy, likely due to the statue cleaners and their habit of rubbing you the wrong way."

Nothing. Just swaying.

Jack's bodyguard came to the door. "Talking to David again, Charlie? Hope you know he isn't real." Shoeshine Fatso was a large handsome dude, a Jackie Gleason type with thick dark hair, glossy brown eyes, and a big gun. I respected Shoeshine. I had to. Jack threatened me with him all the time. "Got any weapons?" he boomed.

"Just the usual, Shoeshine."

"Good. We may need your firepower later on." He winked at me. "When things get hairy."

Behind Shoeshine's back Renaissance David was flexing his muscle. And not the good kind.

I could smell money. Old money and new money. Money coming out of the woodwork and floorboards, freshly laundered and still with bubbles on the Queen's stern face. It was trip money, money soon to travel to Switzerland or the Caymans or the British Virgin Islands and back again, or just to stay put in a lazy old-fashioned way. Hidden money, the most exciting kind. While I speak figuratively my nose twitched to the transactions that typically took place over late-night whiskey in the library down the hall. Money over whiskey. How sweet was that? I was home, if only for my routine Sunday visit.

"So, Leonard is really gone, then?" I asked Shoeshine. Leonard had plans to become Jack's son-in-law before he disappeared.

"Gone. Vanished into thin air. Jack's so happy he's throwing a party. Not that he needs an excuse."

"I'll bet he's happy. And I'll bet he knows just where Leonard went. And I'll bet you do too."

Shoeshine shuffled his feet. He knew. Jack had done away with poor old Leonard and the only missing info was the where and the when. Not for me to condemn. I mean, Leonard was not easy to like. Next to Leonard my arrogance looked like humility in disguise, some people said. Well, maybe those people were thugs but the majority of these thugs thought that Leonard wasn't pretty enough to be such an asshole. And I did too. He was this long-nosed, pony-tailed professor who smelled of pipe tobacco on good days and you don't want to know about the bad. He had skinny legs and bony ankles and didn't wear socks. In summer his hairy white toes poked through his sandals, a very ugly sight.

I almost whacked him once myself, the moron. We were at Jack's house for a party and he pulled me aside. "Charlie," he said. "This may sound silly but I think you're jealous of me. You don't suppose your underlying feelings may be that I'm about to replace you as Jack's son, do you?"

I thought about it. Since Leonard was Jack's age the idea of Jack fathering him seemed hilarious to me. "No, Leonard. I don't feel you'll replace me as Jack's son. I guess I just don't like you." With that I shuffled off to pour myself a double. But for the record, Jack was my surrogate dad, the man who rescued me after my parents perished in a car crash, and he'd been bossing me around since I was ten years old.

But back to the celebration of Leonard's demise. I was leaning against a tall white pillar feeling happy by whiskey when Jack's older sister came breezing by, tossing me a furrowed look, like I'd been part of the great conspiracy. Jack's sister was hot for fifty-three. You know those women obsessed with the gym and staying young? Well, Julia wasn't one of them. No, she got her exercise running between boardrooms closing deals. A woman of intrepid intellect, Julia was built like a willow tree, tall and sweeping, with long shapely legs, keen hazel eyes, and sleek dark hair that went twisting into a knot. It was the kind of knot made to be shaken loose on a pillow by a very brave man, since Julia Mattingly was deadly in more ways than one.

Jack was standing at the windows studying the landscape below when I finally tracked him down in a living room filled with gangsters, white leather sofas, animal print chairs, and Moroccan treasures. Leafy palm trees too.

"Rhododendrons are my favorite." He nudged me so hard he almost knocked me over. "Followed by azaleas, I think." The dinosaur on his pullover eyed me up like lunch.

Together we studied Vancouver at our feet.

"I didn't know you liked flowers, Jack."

"It'll be our secret, Hamster."

Well, only Jack dared to call me a rodent. It was an endearment, of sorts. Hampton to Hamster was Jack's way of telling me how special I was and that basically he was my owner. I nodded.

"I love it up here. It's my favorite place in the world. Here in my castle with my private ocean view below I'm truly infallible. Infallible until the law catches up with me, that is. Or Jillian. Either way I'm a dead man."

"I heard. Via the grapevine."

He looked angelic with his sandy curls framing his face like garland, and although he'd hurt the person he loved most he had this knack of making you feel sorry for him, especially when he'd been bad.

"Can I help?" I asked out of respect.

"I'll think about it." He did. He was sucking me in like a carp. "I need to have some people watched. Are you any good at that?" His eyes were round and green and exact, like he'd been counting money but was a few grand short.

"I'm PI. So, yes. Sometimes I watch people. When I'm not breaking kneecaps." I was trying to be cool but was excited way beyond cool. Big deals happened around Jack, some of them even legal, and people died. Hopefully I wouldn't be one of them.

"This is a big one, Hamster. Really big. These people can be dangerous. More dangerous than you know."

"Ok, Jack. What have you done?"

He pawed his mustache which I took as a sign of guilt. "Are you my father now?" he barked.

"Someone has to be since you refuse to look after yourself. What have you done?"

"Nothing."

"Exactly what kind of trouble are you in, Jack?"

He giggled. "I like the way you say Jack. It's like an order."

"It is an order. I need to know what you've been up to."

"Uh... Nothing. Yet."

"But?"

"But I may be. Down the road. I might have to get into a business I've always tried to avoid."

"Drugs?"

"Shush!" he whispered. "Do you want to get us killed? It's something like drugs. Only not quite so bad."

_Oh, great. He was going after th_ e _Triad. Holy crap!_

# Chapter Two

Vancouver: Four years later.

After securing the top to my convertible, and robbing the gulls of an address, I strolled down the hill to the pier. The harbor was bustling as usual with huge cranes rising like long-necked geese to deposit grain, sulfur, and lumber into the bowels of freighters. Back to back helijets arrived at the Waterfront pad just as the coast guard took off in a hovercraft, skimming away. The Port. I wallowed in it. I was home.

If Jack was happy to see me at his warehouse office he didn't show it. After plowing his fingers through his thick sandy curls, and pawing his mustache of the same color into place, he spun a glass of whisky towards me across the desk. I sat back in my chair and waited.

"I'm worried about Willy," he began. "He's looking pale."

I thought about it. "Willy is Chinese. He has dark skin. How can you tell?"

"Well, he looks tired to me. And so do you. Beijing took a lot out of you guys. You killed a lot of people."

"Really? And why did we do that?"

He blushed. "Well, I guess I got myself kidnapped and you had to rescue me with guns."

I nodded. "Again. Willy and I have rescued you twice. You are a career kidnap victim. But just so you know we're not doing it again."

He finally smiled. "You say that now but I know you. You're good for at least three. You've got one more IOU. You know, since I raised you and taught you the ropes. It's called gratitude."

My turn to smile. "You taught me nothing. You are a professional criminal. I'm a big disappointment to you because I've stayed clean."

"You're wrong there, Hamster. I'm damn proud of you. That's why I'm sending you and Willy on a sunny vacation. So you don't get scurvy."

I held my breath. With Jack there was always a catch. He wanted me to do something and he wanted me to do it his way. "Where is this sunny place? Or am I being too curious?"

"California."

"Why California?"

"Well, someone you know and don't trust is living in California. I thought you might want to visit him."

Great. Richard Chang, the most powerful drug lord on the Pacific Rim, was living in California under my name for his own protection. Charles Richard Hampton. I'd rather stick a hot poker in my eye. "Why the sudden interest in _the Cleaver_?"

"Well, firstly, he's Tommy's father. And secondly, Tommy has disappeared. Julia is afraid he's gone off in search of his dad. She's in pieces, Hamster, so you've got to help her out."

I swallowed hard. "You know I will."

Tommy was like a little brother to me and we'd hung out a lot over the past four years. After I brought him home from Beijing I even tried to adopt him but the courts said no, just because I'd killed a few people in self-defense. Didn't matter, they said, I lived too dangerously. So, Julia stepped in and I became like an uncle. Jada, Tommy's mom, had been Willy's cousin and Tony's niece so Tommy was just one big family affair.

Jack was staring into space. "And Willy?"

"You won't even have to ask."

I took the stairs to my Denman office, two at a time. Once inside I watered Robert the Plant, a sprawling rubber tree, with the special spring water I kept just for him. "I'm sorry Robert but I have to leave you again. The plant lady will take good care of you though and feed you fertilizer too."

"That would be damn nice," said Robert and I leapt about a foot.

Tony Chan was standing in the doorway giggling his eighty-something head off. He was all spiffed up in his chauffeur uniform, cap included. Great disguise for a powerful mastermind. "You looked pretty funny just then."

"Yeah, thanks. I like it when I shit my pants." I sat down at my nice tin desk and pointed to the chair across from me. Tony and Maya Chan occupied the guest house at 33 Terrace Place and served as Jack's chauffeur and cook, respectively. Tony had been torturing me since I was ten.

He removed his cap, scratched his old grey head, and pointed to the portrait of _Chestnut Gelding,_ my find at a silent auction for five bucks. "Hi Mike."

I raised my feet to the top of my desk. "The horse isn't Mike today. He's Ming."

Tony giggled. "I know. It's because I'm Chinese. He's Ming to Chinese. To English he's Harry. To Polish he's Pete. It's how you lie to your clients."

"It works. He's a good conversation piece. So, how can I help you, sir?"

"I'm here to help you, actually. In case you have second thoughts about California."

"I have. I hate Richard and he keeps coming back into my life. He's like a curse."

"So, you were busy doing what? Following adulterers?"

"Thanks a lot. I only ever followed one and she was an adulteress. But I followed her twice because her husband was stupid. She's still with him I hear."

"Money talks. McGoogle is loaded and she's beautiful. Word is, he wants to now hire you as a security guard."

"Fuck you! Are you ever going to quit with the torture?"

"When I'm dead. You're easy to pick on."

"Ok, godfather. You have the upper hand. Is there a reason you dropped by today?

He nodded. "There are some things you need to know about the Triad in California." 

# Chapter Three

Saying goodbye is never easy for me, given my profession, even if the people I love don't love me back. As I pulled into the driveway of 33 Terrace Place I figured I had a fifty-fifty chance with the Jones women, since I'd married one of them, although fraudulently, and she hadn't liked me since. Julia, I could count on. She met me at the door wearing a wet face.

"Oh, Charlie! Tommy's gone. And he didn't even leave a note."

I hugged her hard. "We'll find him. We'll bring him back."

She started to sob. "I know you will. You've always come through for us." She led me to the long living room where two tumblers of whisky sat on a silver tray. We took the zebra-print chairs on opposite sides.

"We already know where Richard is, Julia. My computer-hacking friend tracked him down. Willy used to work for Richard remember. He established several shell companies in California for Richard to funnel his drug money through. Following this process, Willy invested Richard's money in real estate, casinos, the entertainment industry, etcetera. He's very well established there due to Willy's genius."

She nodded. "Thanks god for Willy's high IQ. I was wondering how you'd find Richard."

"Willy only has an IQ of three hundred and ten."

She smiled. I was getting to her.

"You do know that Richard changed his name to mine, the arrogant asshole?"

Now she laughed. "I remember the night Jack brought him home. You were so pissed off."

I was. And unfortunately, I remembered the occasion all too well myself.

Flashback:

Inside, the place was abuzz with Jack's usual party mix: his West Van cronies, his crooked cops, his thugs and his relatives. But this day was different; different due to a new element in the way of a very special guest of honor, Richard Chang. And Richard had brought his own thugs along.

Shoeshine greeted me in the foyer. "Charlie. Got any weapons?"

"Who me? Only a knife in my sock."

"Try to be a good sport, ok? Jack is counting on you today."

"Alright, Melvin. I'll do my best."

His glossy brown eyes squinted at me. "My name is not Melvin. Jack calls me that just to bug me. But you're not Jack. Not yet at least."

It seemed there was a reception line now as next to Shoeshine stood Fat Freddie Fong and next to him, Shorty Poo. I bowed. "Goons," I said in a friendly voice. "I've been missing you. Like a toothache."

Since neither spoke English they bowed.

The living room was packed like a barrel of sausages with the noise level rivaling a sonic boom. Nordic looking Peter - crooked cop and Julia's love interest - waved me over.

"Nice friends, Charlie. I hear they're good with knives."

I nodded. "They'll come in handy at Thanksgiving. I won't have to carve the turkey this year."

Beside him Julia shook her sleek dark head. "I can't believe Jack! What's he doing with the Triad?"

"Staying alive," I answered. "Jack likes to stay alive. And for that matter so do I."

I shuffled off to the bar where Jillian grabbed my arm. "My god! He's gorgeous! Don't tell me let me guess. Richard Chang." Her eyes were wild.

"In the flesh. He likes flesh. Especially flesh hanging off others."

She ignored me. "He's absolutely gorgeous!"

"And dangerous."

She tossed back her long blond curls and widened her hazel eyes. "I like 'em dangerous! Introduce me, will you Hampton?"

I could think of many reasons not to but before a good one popped into my head Richard was approaching. "Charlie! Good to see you, old boy." He stuck out his hand.

I wanted to shove his English accent right down his throat but I could see Jack glaring at me from across the room so I shook it. "Richard."

He was ogling Jillian. "And this beautiful woman would be?"

"Jillian," she squealed before I could respond. "Jillian Jones."

He nodded. "Jack's daughter. Jack's absolutely stunning daughter!"

I wanted to barf. The mating dance of the Andean flamingo was being performed before my jealous nose and Jack was glaring at me from a distance. I grabbed my tumbler of whiskey and headed off.

Jack was smiling the smug Jack smile when I finally elbowed my way through the crowd. "Think of the possibilities, Hamster. Richard could be your new brother. "

"I can't remember ever wanting a brother."

"That's because you're selfish. You want all my attention."

"Funny."

King Chin was standing beside Jack looking serious. He came to his armpit.

"Is this your new bodyguard, Jack?"

"Maybe. The Butcher can do anything he wants to do. I'm not saying no."

We giggled.

Jillian and Richard approached looking far too happy to be anywhere near me.

"We're playing tennis tomorrow at Richard's place!" She beamed up into his lustful eyes. "I'm going to show him how it's done."

Oh, Jack, I said to myself on my way to the door. What have you done?

But back to the present and Julia walking me to the door. "You know I love you don't you, Charlie?"

"I love you too."

We were in the process of hugging when someone cleared her throat at the top of the stairs. Jillian, with hands on her waist in defiance, was glaring down. She was wearing a baggy pink T-shirt and little else. "You should have told me we had thugs, Aunty. I might have dressed for the occasion. With a gun."

"I love you too," I responded.

"Just do your fucking job. And bring Tommy home without cuts and bruises. We want him all in one piece." With that she turned and stomped away.

# Chapter Four

California here we come. First class. While I sipped on a whisky, Willy knocked back a Coke. He rarely drank alcohol and when he did he turned all red.

"They're near Santa Ana," Willy said. "In Orange County."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, not to complicate your little mind I hacked into Richard's computer. While he changed all his information in order to disappear he kept his computer. Piece of cake."

"Do you know an address?"

"Not exactly. But when we visited him in his beach house that last night I put a tracker on his cell. We'll find him."

"While you were in his computer was there any word of Tommy?"

"None. No emails. Nothing. Julia said that Tommy had no interest in knowing Richard but after graduating high school he couldn't stop asking questions. He met a guy at UBC who became his friend. This guy was raised in Chinatown and you know the buzz there. Richard is pretty big. He's mythical in stature and although rarely, if ever, seen, he is whispered to be a powerful drug lord. As you know, Julia wanted Tommy to keep his last name and Tommy did too. So this guy jokingly asked him if he was related to Richard Chang."

"And what did Tommy say?"

"He said that Richard was his dad. Big mistake because after that the university friend wouldn't stop repeating the things he heard in Chinatown. About Richard having lived in West Vancouver. About the drug heist. You know, about some guy stealing the heroin and someone else turning it in." He smiled the infectious Willy smile.

"That would be you and me. I guess we're lucky to be alive."

"Damn lucky."

I smiled. "I can still see your disguise. You were brilliant when we briefly met in _Dr._ _Sun Yat Sen's Garden_ before you left for Beijing. The old man with the gnarled hand. The grey hair under and old hat. The cane."

"It saved my ass until I could leave the country. I'd foolishly let my passport expire so it took a few days."

Funny how a genius forgets the small stuff, isn't it? "So there's no proof of Tommy being in California?"

"Well, we've gone on less before. His passport was current so he wouldn't have trouble in that regard."

"What about his computer?"

"He took it with him."

"And you didn't hack in?"

Back came the smile. "Well, it took a while. But I was able to manage it this morning. And let me just say there was a lot of Triad research going on."

"And?"

"A plane ticket to LAX."

I sat back to think. How would Tommy know about California? Well, Jack and Tony knew. "There are a couple of big mouths in that house. And when they get into the library booze at night they talk a lot. Tommy likely listened at the door."

"My thoughts exactly."

After snagging a renal at LAX we headed for _Orange County_ with Willy behind the wheel. Since he'd often travelled to _California_ on criminal business he knew the geography well. While heading out on the _Santa Ana Freeway_ he said,

"Richard bought property here several years ago. Or, rather, I bought it on his behalf after rifling money through the shell companies. He owns a lot of real estate in this town. Apartment buildings, business buildings etc. __ He's doing alright thanks to me."

"Why Santa Ana?"

"Well, it's kind of funny, actually. 14K Triad had moved in here and I guess he felt at home. You know. Honor among thieves. However, he got too big too soon and they wanted to eliminate him. Thus the change of identity."

"How can he do business under a new name?"

"My guess is, since Charles Richard Hampton knows the system and the players he won't have trouble starting up again. He knows how to do it, you see. He's familiar with The Golden Triangle and how it works. He'll be conducting big business so it's the end result that counts. Sadly, the poppy growers in Thailand, Laos and Myanmar are paid very little. The Burma refinery workers are paid pitifully too. It's the exporters of heroin and opium that make the big bucks. The drug cartels. The drug lords. You know the story."

"The Triads. Richard, etcetera. I do."

In due time we pulled into the driveway of a huge home on a cliff. It was a two-story box home with myriad windows overlooking the ocean below. An atrium on the second floor jutted out over the pool and koi pond and vast lush gardens surrounded all the this. After killing the engine, Willy said,

"This driveway holds eight cars."

"Wow! It's quite a shack, Willy. Who owns this place?"

"A great guy owns it and we'll be staying here for a while."

At the front doors we were greeted by a dark-haired woman wearing a grey uniform. "Welcome, Mr. Chan. And welcome to your guest as well." She looked Spanish to me.

Willy punched me on the arm. "His name is Charlie and he'll be ordering you around like a servant."

Her brown eyes twinkled. "I am a servant."

Inside, the pale green walls of a marbled-floor foyer rose to a ceiling high above, not unlike a flat Sistine Chapple. A wide dramatic staircase led to the upper floor. I'm not overwhelmed by much but I almost felt out of place.

"Bartolo will fetch your luggage," the woman named Veronica said. "Appetizers are in the library with whisky for your friend."

Once settled into modern-style leather chairs in the large square library, with bookshelves to the ceiling and a ladder for collecting dust, I sipped my drink. "Is the owner of this mausoleum here?"

Willy grinned. "He is. You're looking at him."

My whisky came up through my nose. "What?"

"It's my retirement home. I bought it a while back. When I was working for Richard."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Well it's not like I'm retiring tomorrow. I would have told you. I haven't really bragged about it yet. My mom doesn't even know. She will though. I'll be sending her here for a holiday this winter, along with her mahjong friends."

"Not Mini Chin!"

He laughed. "What are you saying? That you've had enough of Mini Chin?"

"Not funny. And don't get me spying on her again. Her and her son, your crooked buddy, Reynolds _the Wrap_."

His eyes twinkled. "I'll ask Reynolds down sometime too. In fact, I was thinking I'd have the two of you at the same time since you know him so well."

"Like hell. I spied on that little idiot savant two times more than I wanted to. The last time in Beijing he was hacking into myriad bank accounts stealing money."

Willy tossed his hair. "Speaking of stolen money, you're sitting on it."

"How so?"

"Well, when I was funneling Richard's money through the shell companies I accidently bought this house for myself."

I wasn't shocked. I'd known Willy since we were ten years old and he was a seasoned crook by then. "Damn. If I'd known that I would have had you buy a house for me."

"I couldn't even buy this house today. I bought it for 2.5 and it's now worth over 10."

"It's a little big for your retirement though, isn't it? How many bedrooms?"

"Nine. All with full bathrooms. And powder rooms here and there too. There's an indoor pool as well so when you visit me in winter you can swim."

Willy knew I swam like a rock. "I still think it's big for a single person."

He hopped up to refresh our drinks. "I'm thirty-six years old, Hampton. While I'll retire in ten years I could have six kids by then. And have you met my relatives? I mean, there's Jackie and Billy and hopefully Tommy. With my luck they'll all be moving in."

We left it there.

# Chapter Five

It was a dwelling buried in the foothills of the _Santa Ana Mountains_ , a fortress that if you didn't know it was there, wasn't. It was a Richard fortress, alright, I could tell by the armed guards and Dobermans on leashes at the end of a long winding driveway. We were greeted by a sturdy guard motioning us ahead with an AK 47.

"When I talked to Freddie this morning he said that Richard was working out but he'd tell him we were coming. Obviously he did."

My heart skipped a beat. You see I had a long history with Richard Chang, mostly unpleasant, and I remembered seeing him for the very first time. I'd been monitoring Leo _the Lizard,_ his underboss, for Jack, since Leo was trying to take over his company and Jack needed to get the upper hand. This is what I saw from my spying suite across the hall:

When the door to Leo's suite flew open my chin hit my chest. There they were! The big boys. Four of the most formidable dudes on the planet. Enter the boss, Richard the Cleaver Chang, who stretched well above six-feet and oozed an air of importance, a presence mostly acquired at maturity, not mastered at thirty-three. He was a handsome devil too, with chiseled Asian features and the sharp eyes of a falcon. He meant business in his expensive, dark-olive suit and with his hair slicked seriously back, like he was suddenly DeNiro late for a funeral on the lot. There wasn't a smile to be found anywhere on his face.

On Richard's heels marched King Kong Chin, the Butcher, beady-eyed, balding and anxious, while Fat Freddy Fong, with no eyes to speak of, trudged along behind. Lastly, and most deadly according to the rumor mill, traipsed Sweet Shorty Poo, teetering on platform shoes and still not measuring five feet tall.

I was like an awestruck kid. I mean, scientists could launch a spaceship to Pluto with the energy in that room. I found myself smiling and wondering if these boys, as children, had played street games against other little kids who carried knives and won. Richard looked like a winner to me. And as for Shorty, well. I'd soon learn not to make fun of Shorty Poo.

And speaking of Shorty, he was standing in the doorway waving to us as we approached on foot. Well, waving to Willy, that was. Willy had a long history of working for Richard and knew the boys well. Shorty and I hadn't liked each other much since the time he held a gun to my head while holding me captive and bound by more ropes than the mainmast of _The Bluenose_. And during our next encounter, in Beijing, he told Willy in Chinese that I was an arrogant asshole. Unfortunately, Willy had agreed.

Shorty didn't speak English so he chatted away to Willy in their mutual language. Willy laughed.

"Oh, sure." I quipped. "He's calling me names again."

"Not exactly, Hampton. He was just asking a question. He wanted to know if your farts still stink like skunk."

"Yeah. Thanks, you ugly little prick."

Shorty bowed. He then proceeded to lead us to a fancy library on the second floor. The room was packed with shelves of leather bound books with Chinese letters. I nudged Willy. "Is there a _War and Peace_ here?"

He shook his hair. "Don't get goofy, Hampton. You know what happens when you do."

"I hate Richard. And Richard hates me. Good thing you're along for a buffer."

"I have to buff. I may work for the guy again. You know, so I can buy another house."

We giggled.

Shorty came puffing over carrying a leather tray of drinks. He pointed to the whisky and smiled at me. He was a funny guy, not knowing English but still remembering my drink. "Thanks, Shorty. We're going to be friends, you and I. Right after hell freezes over."

He bowed.

Someone in the doorway was clearing his throat. "You think you're so very funny, don't you, Charlie?" he said in the pleasant English accent he'd acquired at Oxford. "But just know this. One day Shorty will speak English in which case you'd better hide."

The handsome devil come over to shake our hands. He was wearing a red cashmere pullover above designer jeans and soft leather loafers. And yes, I was getting goofy but I held my tongue. You see, I couldn't help thinking that if _Charlie's Angels_ had been men the three of us might have had parts.

He took a scotch from Shorty's tray and motioned to a cluster of soft leather armchairs. "Gentlemen. Naturally, I'm surprised to see you. This isn't your natural habitat. And since you've strayed from Vancouver I expect there's a reason for your visit. Exactly what can I do for you today?"

"Have you heard from Tommy?" I started.

He shook his head. "No. I haven't heard from Tang Mi. Should I have? We're rather estranged, I think."

"He's disappeared," Willy said. "And from what I can tell he's on his way to you."

Richard widened his hazel eyes. "Why is that? I thought he didn't know much about me. And having been adopted by Julia I thought he wouldn't exactly approve of my lifestyle."

"He doesn't," I said before being cut off by Willy.

"He's learned a lot about you from Chinatown and he thinks you're some kind of hero."

Richard smiled, a rarity. "I am, actually. In certain circles."

Right, I was thinking. That's why you had to change your name. "You've heard nothing from him at all?"

"I'm actually not easy to find. Not everyone in the world can hack into computers. Oh, and steal things, like my friend here. You owe me money, Willy Chan. For the heroin and the artifacts."

Willy stared him down. "You'd have a tough time proving either and would be disappointed to learn that a lesser human than me duped you."

Red crept into Richard's cheeks.

And since we were on a roll I said, "You're not hiding Tommy, are you? To keep us from taking him back?"

I thought his face turned redder. "That's awfully brazen of you, old boy. Exactly why would I do that?"

"Maybe because he's your son and you might want to mentor him. You know, teach him the ropes. Like the art of torture and all."

Willy shot me a look that could kill the six Dobermans barking outside.

Richard stood up. "I think this meeting is over. If I hear from Tang Mi I'll let you know." With that he stalked away.

On the drive back in Willy's rented convertible I said, "Richard is lying."

"What makes you think that?"

"The color of his face. Have you ever seen him blush?"

"Not often. Only when he has something to hide."

"Exactly. He's hiding something. He knows more than he's willing to admit."

"You're the detective, Hampton. Figure it out."

"Well, my guess is, and it's not a happy one, that maybe someone else hacked into Tommy's computer. It's possible."

"So?"

"Maybe that someone is in a war with Richard. And maybe that someone is holding Tommy hostage. It's possible."

My cell rang just then. It was Jack, hollering, "What did you learn, Hamster?"

"Not much. We just left Richard. If he knows where Tommy is he isn't sharing."

Big sigh. "I sent you there to bring Tommy back. What have you been doing in the meantime?"

I checked my watch. "Do you mean since our arrival at seven last night? Hmm. Let me see. It's now eleven a.m. Probably dog-fucking."

"You don't have to be sarcastic. Julia is in the process of a nervous breakdown. She may have to be tranquillized. Easy for you to be in California. I have to be here taking the blame."

Since my cell was on speaker, Willy barged in. "Jack? You're welcome to help with the investigation. I have plenty of room at my house."

I vehemently shook my head.

"I heard him. And I know about Willy's house. Tony told me. And do you want to know what I think? I think Tony and I could use a little sun."

# Chapter Six

As we pulled into the driveway of Willy's beach shack I asked, "Is your gardener here today?"

"I don't have a gardener. I have a service. They come every Thursday for the entire day. There's a few of them. Mostly Mexican, I think. I've spoken to them on occasion. They trim the trees and shrubs. Take care of the flowers and lawn. I have three acres here so it's not a small job. But they do it well. No complaints."

"And the pool boy?"

"The pool boy comes twice a week for an hour or two. Why do you ask?"

"Well, back a bit I saw a pair of shoes under a leafy shrub. They had feet in them and socks. There was some pant leg too."

His eyes grew wide. "What? Are you delusional?"

"Sure I am. I'm always delusional when I see a dead body. Do you want me to go and check it out? Because Houston, I think we have a problem."

He was out of the car in a flash and raced me to the scene of my delusion. "Oh, my god! It's Bartolo. He's been shot."

"No shit, Sherlock. Poor bugger. In the back too. He was running away from somebody."

Bartolo was a bloody mess. The bullet in the head would have done the job but there were several more in his back. Willy turned ashen white. "He was a nice man. Polite. He managed all the services, like the gardeners, the cleaning people, etcetera. And the hardest part is yet to come. We have to tell Veronica. Veronica is his wife."

So, we temporarily left the body to deliver the bad news and found Veronica in the kitchen where she'd taken to the floor with a bullet in her head. It was a fairly clean wound.

Willy doubled over on the kitchen island. To give him a minute I walked to the windows overlooking the blue ocean below. The sun was shining as sailboats carrying happy people went gliding by. Not to be trite but it was a nice day for a murder. "Do you want me to call the authorities?" I asked with my back to him.

When finally he joined me at the windows his color was back. "That's the last thing we're going to do, Hampton. This will be kept quiet. I've been thinking. There isn't a mess in the kitchen which is good. And the sprinklers will take care of the blood in the trees. How are you at dragging dead bodies, my friend?"

"Well, to quote your cousin, Jackie, I'm the best at dragging dead bodies. What do you have in mind?" Jackie, you see, was the best at everything or so he wrongly thought.

"There's an old well at the back of the property. I'm thinking that my unfortunate former employees would like a nice swim."

Later in the library, Willy poured our drinks, even adding whisky to his Coke. He looked pretty shaken as he leaned back in his chair. "Just when you think you've seen and done it all there's a dead body to drag. Two in fact. One for each of us."

"Thanks for sharing. For a while there I thought you were going to keep both for yourself."

He choked back a giggle. "You're not funny. This is a very sad day."

"Sorry. What are your thoughts on the matter?"

"Well, I'd like to believe that Bartolo and Veronica were the intended targets. That the Mexican mafia got them. But that doesn't make sense to me. They came from the agency with impeccable references and had worked as domestics for years."

"What about your Kow Gong? He works as a chauffeur but is actually one of the most powerful bosses in the Triads. It's possible to do."

"Right. Kow Gong puts on a chauffeur's uniform to drive Jack to work. Then he goes into the back office where he launders money through their shell companies and hides it abroad. He also manages his VIP rooms in casinos, some here in California and Nevada but mostly in Macau. Loansharking is his gig. But that much you already know. We Chans are not exactly a nice bunch of guys. Which leads me to my second theory and the one I'm leaning towards. Someone is coming after me."

I nodded. "We'll figure it out. In the meantime, we'll need some firepower on the property. Got any ideas on that?"

"Kow Gong has a network here. We'll borrow a couple of boys from him. With the little forest surrounding us here we won't arouse suspicion. But the two old relatives can't come. It's too risky."

While Tony was in his eighties, Jack would be pissed about being thought old at fifty-seven. "What? You don't want Jack to get himself kidnapped again?"

"Three strikes and you're out. Next time we'll just leave him there."

# Chapter Seven

First off, we recovered both cellphones, one in the kitchen, the other on a body, and after Willy was able to crack the passwords we'd hopefully know more. On first pass I found very little in the servant's quarters at the back of the house. Personal things, off course, such as clothing and modest jewelry but nothing to grab the eye. There was a shoebox of old-fashioned paper letters that had been mailed to Veronica with a stamp and at first glance I noticed two things: one they were written in English in a small neat script and two, a return post office box. Good enough. I had a place to start.

Willy had been busy all morning long, texting back and forth with Jack who seemed determined to come. Over a lunch of sandwiches at the kitchen island he was pretty much done.

"I couldn't really tell Jack that we dumped a couple of bodies in the well, bodies which might have been ours had we been home. I'm not telling him anything via text. Or otherwise. This stays between the two of us."

"Of course. Have you reported your dead people to the agency as missing? Like maybe they went back to Mexico?"

Pink crept into his cheeks. "I tried. But the agency is defunct. If there ever was an agency. I'm afraid I didn't properly check things out. They answered the ad on Craig's List and arrived with glowing paper references. Since I was in a hurry to get back home and they seemed quasi-honest, I trusted them."

I smiled to myself. Willy naturally assumed that everyone was crooked and he'd have insurance on the place. If they burned it down he'd simply replace it. "Is there any record of this company at all?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"Nice going, bud."

He screwed up his face. "You know I'm not good at little things so don't bug me."

I understood. If it wasn't quantum physics he couldn't get his head around it. "Who hired the gardeners and the pool boy?"

"They did. I left it up to them. Since I do my bookkeeping online I wasn't worried. I emailed the pay cheques and thought all was tickety boo. They weren't rocket scientists, you realize, so I wasn't worried about any of them hacking into my household account. Not that I keep much money there. I transfer it in as needed."

"Well, back to the matter of Tommy. I want you to do something for me. I need to know what Reynolds and Mini have been up to. Something is sticking in my craw."

"Yeah? Funny, but mine too. I'll let you know by the end of the day. And by that time we'll have a couple of rifles patrolling. You'd better speak to Jack, though. He's adamant about arriving tomorrow."

I grinned. "Right. I have a lot of authority where Jack is concerned. He's really scared of me. What about your uncle Tony? Can he not read the riot act?"

"Well, he can. The problem being Kow Gong wants to come too."

"You did say you bought this place with a lot of houseguests in mind."

"But I didn't mean it. I bought it for myself. I want to be alone."

My second trip back to LAX produced nothing more than the first. Tommy's flight had arrived. Period. While I'd left his picture with the _Air Canada_ folks the first time around, no one seemed to remember him. Still, the crew on his flight had not all been questioned.

And later that night hell actually did freeze over when the green tea toddler got drunk. He was maudlin, to say the least. "I should feel worse about Veronica and Bartolo. And I would if I wasn't so damn glad it wasn't me."

We were back in the library in the modern leather armchairs staring at books. "How well did you know them?"

"Well enough to feel worse. I had conversations with them."

"Personal conversations? Like, did you ask about their families?"

"No. I basically said please and thank you. I wasn't here often as you know. And I stayed only a day or two. I likely wouldn't have recognized them on the street. But I still should feel bad, shouldn't I? Like maybe I should cry?"

I didn't say anything. Since Willy had no tolerance for alcohol he'd likely be crying soon over something or other. "Did you call an agency about new people? I think we're going to need a cook."

"A cook is coming tomorrow. Plus a man. With a knife for self-defense since their people aren't licensed to carry a gun." His head bobbed. "I said to make him Chinese because Chinese are good with knives."

"What did the agency say?"

"The woman I talked to thought I was joking. She had the IQ of a bright monkey and laughed like a hyena. I'm not sure what will show up tomorrow."

I smiled. "Did you locate Reynolds?"

"Yes! I didn't even have to hack in because I know his email address. He hasn't changed it since we were in school. It's not one used for pirating though. He has a private server for a dozen addresses there. But you know all this from spying on the little bugger." He held out his glass. "I'm too drunk to get up but I'll have another. And I'll be watching you so don't skimp on the booze."

I didn't. Why would I when I was having so much fun? I handed him his poison. "About Reynolds?" I leaned back in my chair.

"Boy! Have I got a story for you! You're going to die laughing since you know the little savant so well. And you know about his agoraphobia. He never leaves his apartment and only managed Beijing in the dead of night after Mini knocked him out with drugs." He gulped his drink.

"That's not straight Coke, you realize."

"Thanks, Dad. But anyway. Reynolds decided that he wanted to see the world. At least Vancouver Chinatown where he lives. So he went online to find a therapist and found one that specialized in this area. They started to work together. In a few days the therapist got him to open the balcony door, a big step. In a few more days this guy tells Reynolds to step outside. In the days to come, Reynolds finally inches his way to the railing where the therapist says, "Congratulations! You've conquered your fears. Now jump off."

Willy and I convulsed. And while Willy was snorkeling his drink, I said. "Does this guy know who he's dealing with?"

"That's what makes this so funny! Reynolds has the guy's email address and he'll hack into that platform in no time flat. Then he'll send his boys to get him. And I just hope this catfish knows how to swim unconscious because he'll end up in the lake." He held out his glass. "I feel like having fun. Do you know what, Hampton? You and I never have fun. It's always work, work, work. Kill, kill, kill. And since we're good with guns I figure we should play a game."

I happily handed him his drink, since the only way I'd beat Willy Chan at anything was if he was dead drunk.

He giggled. "This is what I think. You and I should put an apple on our heads, you know, like Willian Tell. He had to shoot the apple off his son's head with a bow and arrow, remember, or they'd both be executed over some dumb thing. Like he forgot to bow to the king maybe. It was really silly."

"And?"

"So, we'll play this new game called Willy Tell only with guns. With your gun you shoot the apple off my head. And with my gun I shoot the apple off yours. It's just that I get to shoot first." With that he passed out cold and I dragged him upstairs to his bed.

# Chapter Eight

The next morning in the kitchen, Willy started to whine. "I don't know how you do it, Hampton. You and Jack drink whisky like water. It's poison. I'll be a year getting rid of this headache."

"Well, there is a secret, you realize. You have to sip it, not inhale it like a camel at an oasis."

"Well, I won't be sipping anything remotely resembling alcohol anytime soon." He grabbed a container of orange juice from the fridge and drained it. "Did I tell you about Reynolds?"

"You did."

"Did I tell you that he and Mini are coming to LA?"

"You didn't. Why are they coming to LA?"

"Well, after the catfish episode, Mini found a legit psychologist and brought him to Reynolds. They started working together through positive visualization and he's moving forward, to the point that he's coming here with Mini to an auction. They'll bid low on some Chinese artifacts and sell them for a fortune."

"Great. I know a little about Chinese artifacts and how everyone, including you, Reynolds, and Jack, plus the godfather, Tony, made a fortune stealing them from me. Great."

He poured us both a steaming cup of coffee. "Are you still whining about that? You were only going to turn them in. That doesn't make sense to a decent criminal. You should have known they weren't safe with you. Especially when Jillian had a key to your place."

"What? Jillian was in on this?"

"Of course not! But she's easy to steal from too so Jack lifted it from her bag. Piece of cake."

"Yeah. Well, I'm now looking to downsize my friends. And family. Like you, I'm now preferring to go it alone."

"Sure you are. And on that happy note I've had a text from Jack. They're arriving tonight."

"Lovely. Just fucking lovely. I suppose we have to meet them at the airport."

"No. They're picking up a luxury car at LAX. You know Jack. He has to have that wide back seat."

"So they'll rent a Rolls."

"Absolutely. You know they'll be arriving here in style."

I did. I shuddered. It was the story of my life.

"I thought I'd throw a party Saturday night." He squinted at me as if soliciting my approval. "A house warming, so to speak. Invite a lot of people. Someone may know something about Tommy so maybe we'll smell a rat."

"And maybe he'll smell like Old Spice although today it's called Dolce and Gabbana."

"You're sounding bitter, Hampton."

"You know I'm bitter. What do you expect?"

"I expect you to be bitter. It's what I like about you."

Later, two new employees arrived at the house, both Chinese. Willy liked that a lot because he could talk about me in their language and I couldn't understand a word. As I came down the stairs all three were pointing at me and giggling. Great. I hurried out the door, not that I had anywhere to go it was just a quick escape. While I was making my way through the gardens to the back of the house I passed a couple of young, dark-haired men gardening away. Heads lowered, they were speaking Spanish in hushed tones. Both were scantily dressed and one without shoes.

"Hola," I greeted them.

"Hola," they said in unison without looking up.

I let myself in the backdoor to the buzzing sound of my radar going off. I made a mental note to leave a new pair of sneakers in the garden, size six. Inside the servant's quarters I opened the shoebox of letters and started to read.

Dear Mama.

I am counting the days until I come to you. I've been saving the money you sent and will soon have enough for the plane. I have a new dress to wear so I will look very nice. I will make you proud, dear Mama. And yes, my passport came.

Love to you and Papa,

Eva

The letter was dated ten days before her parent's death. But there were other letters too, one dated the previous year.

Oh Mama.

I am so sad. But so grateful too, that you and Papa sent the money for me to travel and escape what so many girls are going through here. I was able to reach Puerto Vallarta straight from the convent and luckily found work too. And yes, I am making beds in a resort and happy to do it since my new roommate was being held as a sex slave and just now managed to escape. It was terrible what they did to her. Why is there so much evil in the world? My heart breaks for her and all the other girls who are suffering.

Love to you and Papa,

Eva.

In the bottom of the box was a photo of a pretty, dark-haired girl with round brown eyes

and a signature. _Love Eva_

I spent the rest of the day calling resorts in _Puerto Vallarta_ trying to track Eva down. Her parent's cellphones were no help, given they were used only to communicate between the two, like walkie talkies. _Coffee is on Bartolo._ _Soup is on Bartolo._ And his response? _Good._

I was outside dragging on a cigarette when the big Bentley pulled in around ten p.m. And do you know what? I was actually glad to see the two reprobates, possibly because they'd made it to Willy's house alive. Tony wasn't known for his driving skills and would have had little help from the whisky-sipping backseat driver. In fact, I wasn't sure if Jack had even driven a car since his Corvette at age seventeen. It was still in his garage, by the way, under a tarp that had _For Picking Up Girls_ painted on. He wished.

Ching, the new houseman, beat me to the car. "I help! I help Tony Chan!"

Well, that was a surprise.

Tony chatted away with Ching while I helped Jack emerge from the wide back seat. He was grumpy. "What are we doing with these people?" he barked. "They don't even like us, the Chinese. They don't even let us play Chinese Checkers anymore. They say it's racist."

Tony heard that. "You were never any good at checkers, Jackie. I even had to cheat for you when you played me. So you wouldn't cry like a great big baby."

I helped Ching carry the luggage into the foyer. "Tell Willy we'll be in the library. And to bring his gun."

Ching's mouth fell open.

"Oh, don't worry. We just shoot them with rubber bullets. It barely slows them down."

He shook his head.

In the library, Jack and Tony were like awestruck kids.

"This is quite a shack." Jack's eyes glistened. "Did you see the artwork in the halls? Better than the _Palace Museum_."

Tony puffed up his chest. "Willy likely stole it from the _Palace Museum_. He had a lot of time in Beijing between rescuing you from kidnappers and dog-fucking."

I walked to the bar to pour the drinks and smile. Willy's modern artwork was mostly splashes of color.

"I think Willy had more than a little help rescuing me. From the brains of the two. Charlie."

Tony chortled. "I don't think we need to get into IQ. It's not fair to Charlie."

"No? Well, I've seen Charlie beat Willy up. Many times. Willy doesn't even know Kung Fu, a shame for a Chinese boy."

Standoff. Bantering was how Jack and Tony communicated but they were like Siamese cats if you fought them. One would cleverly distract you while the other batted you down. Thankfully, Willy arrived just then and we settled in to discuss strategy. Tommy was out there somewhere and Willy wasn't the only genius able to access his computer.

# Chapter Nine

The following morning over coffee in the kitchen Willy delivered the good and mostly bad news. Everyone was coming for the party Saturday night. Why? Because no one had a broken leg so all could navigate airports. They were just a bundle of nerves sitting back home worrying about Tommy so why not worry at his _Hotel California_?

"Bad idea, Willy. Jackie and Billy can't read English. They'll get lost."

He shook his shiny dark hair. "Covered. Julia and Peter are bringing them."

"Peter too?"

"Of course. We'll need him the next time Jack gets kidnapped. He'll need to collect the dead bodies after our shootout. You know, the usual routine." His broad smile could have broken his face.

"And Jillian?"

"Need you ask? You know the little tree hugger will be the first one on the plane. Like, she'd be staying home minding the fires." His round brown eyes twinkled. "You'll have adjoining rooms so you won't wear the hardwood out bed-hopping."

He wasn't funny. "She's on probation. She doesn't have a passport."

"Like that would stop her. Peter will have a phony replacement ready in half an hour."

He would. "So, we have Julia, Peter, Jackie, Billy and Jillian. Did you leave anyone out?"

"No. Shoeshine is coming and Maya too. You know Maya will want to boss the kitchen."

I walked to the windows overlooking the ocean below. Why wasn't I on one of those damn sailboats sailing away, like maybe to Hawaii? "Why do I have this gut feeling you're going to tell me something else? Something shocking."

He pulled up beside me. "You may want to take a deep breath."

I did. "Do I need a drink?"

"Too early. But I've managed a cease fire. For the weekend only. Monday is a different story. Monday we could all be fucking dead."

"You're kidding!"

"Nope. I'm not. Yes, Richard and Reynolds are sworn enemies. And yes, I've worked for, and with, both in a number of capacities, none of them legal."

I nodded, the best I could do.

"So, simply put, I called in my markers."

"That's it?"

"That's it. That's all I'm willing to share."

"I smell blackmail."

He walked to the mirrored wall reflecting the ocean below and flipped his hair. "I like my face. I was a child model remember. It would be a shame to have ugly scars on what a generous god created."

In case you don't already know it, Willy is vain. And modesty, he believes, is a word reserved for the meek.

"You're lucky, Charlie. You'll never know what you look like after those hot pokers sear your eyes."

Well, I felt better about things after that.

Money talks and Saturday morning the caterers started to arrive, at least I thought they were caterers, although with Willy in charge I couldn't be sure. They looked Russian to me except for the suntans, a possible disguise. Florist vans blocked the driveway.

"Did somebody die?" Jack delivered his customaryhip-check. "Was it me?"

We were standing on the front steps taking in the sun. "I couldn't get that lucky, Jack."

He screwed up his face. "I can't believe Willy! I mean, what has he done, inviting both Richard and Reynolds? We could all be killed in the cross-knifing."

"I doubt it. At least not tonight. Both have agreed to the conditions and neither will risk riling godfather Tony. You know the story, Jack. Reynolds worked for Richard at one point in time. It's how he got his start. But his big mistake was in quitting Richard and striking out on his own." I recalled my initial conversation with Richard regarding Reynolds, shortly after we met. It was following a tennis match that my stubborn partner, Jackie Chan, refused to lose. Not exactly a good sport, Richard had walked me to his driveway with a downturned mouth.

Flashback:

_Richard leaned casually against my car. "Reynolds is an ex-employee of mine as you obviously already know. He's the finest computer hacker in North America, possibly the world. He may have stolen my cargo. Either by himself or in cahoots with Willy Chan. It's a shame, really. He was once invaluable to me and now I have to hurt him."_

Mid-afternoon, Willy's houseguests started to arrive in succession and fortunately I wasn't there. No, I was at LAX, once again scavenging. The difference this time was that I was handed a message from an attendant on Tommy's flight who remembered him. Tommy had fallen asleep on the plane and she had shaken him awake. As they walked out together he was met by an Asian-looking woman, possibly Filipino. End of note.

By the time I arrived back at Willy's house, Shoeshine had taken his customary position at the door. "Got any weapons, Charlie?" he boomed.

"Just the usual."

He frisked me to make sure. "Good. We may need your firepower later on. You know, after _the Cleaver_ and _the Wrap_ quit waltzing together."

I laughed, mainly because I could picture handsome Richard, at six-three, and little Reynolds, no bigger than an eight-year-old boy, waltzing.

"Has the family arrived?" Well, we were all related in a strange kind of way.

"The family has arrived. Ching showed them to their rooms and they're getting ready. Peter's in the library waiting for you. He's already got your drink poured."

After Peter and I settled into the modern armchairs he started to giggle. "Can you believe tonight, Charlie? I mean, think of the possibilities. When the knives come out. Literally."

"I don't want to think about it. I'm just going to get drunk."

"What the hell is Willy doing anyway?"

"Living on the edge. You know Willy. He isn't happy unless dangling off a cliff by a fine silk thread. He's insane."

The crooked cop ploughed his fingers through his thick blond hair. "Let him dangle. But he needs to leave the rest of us alone. Some of us have lives."

"There is a method to his madness, actually. We need all the help we can get in locating Tommy." With that I headed to my room for a hot shower.

Willy's living room was about fifty feet long and thirty wide. Vivid canvasses of abstracts graced the walls while floor to ceiling windows at the front of the room offered a panorama of the ocean below. Contemporary furniture – white with a splash of red — sat in clusters here and there, imported Fendi Casa, I heard Willy say, while thanking Richard who inadvertently paid for it all.

By the time I came downstairs the place was abuzz with several at the buffet table in the open dining room loading up. I headed for the bar.

"Make mine big," said a familiar voice. He held out his glass.

I obliged. "What are you going to do when I'm dead, Jack? Sober up?"

"Make yourself a big one too, Hamster. We may all bite it tonight."

The guests of honor had yet to arrive. "I had a couple in my room so I have to watch it. I already can't see my feet."

"You never could. Your nose is too big."

"Thanks." I poured myself a big one. Bad enough I had to contend with his real son soon, but Jack? Jack wasn't likely to let me out of his sight since he had no social skills and needed to use me as a prop, someone he could make fun of. Ha. Ha. Hamster the puppet. Well, I'd show Jack. I'd get drunk and make him so ashamed he'd leave me alone.

"Amster!" a voice behind me called. "Amster! Appy! Appy!"

I turned in time to catch Jackie Chan slugging me. "Is that a new suit, Wildman?"

His smile went right around his face. "It's new. Willy bought it for my twip. Billy has one two."

Through perfect peripheral vision I could see Billy Chan in the identical suit. Thing One and Thing Two were looking pretty spiffy. "You look dashing, Jackie. Absolutely fucking dashing. Billy too."

He shook his head. "Billy is sad. So sad about Tommy. He isn't even eating."

I extracted a wad of bills and peeled off a few. "Will money help? Some for each of you?"

"Yes. But that's not enough. You're cheap, Amster. Real cheap."

I peeled off a few more. "Better?"

His eyes sparkled. "More."

I handed over the wad. "This better be enough or I'll break your fucking neck."

He laughed. "You always say that but you never do. You can always go to a bank and get more, you know. We can wait."

"Just shut up and share the loot with Billy. And I'll be watching you, you little thief. It's fifty-fifty."

Smiling, he strode across the room and started to divide the money with his brother. Billy smiled and waved. Yes, money was crass of me but I wasn't good at hugs.

Naturally, Jack hadn't gone anywhere without his prop. "I don't know who raised you, Hamster, but that was cold. You should have gone to the bank as Jackie said." His eyes crinkled at the corners.

"Right. That's a great idea. I think I'll go to the bank and not come back."

"You're spoiled, Hamster. When you don't get your own way you pout."

Julia came to the rescue with hugs. She looked hot in her flowing taupe dress and with her sleek dark hair twisting into a knot. "Charlie, darling! It's so good to see you. There's a degree of comfort being closer to you and Willy. I just know you're going to find our Tommy and that we're going to bring him home."

I nodded. "We will."

Peter handed her a plate of food. "You need to eat, sweetheart. You haven't eaten since Tommy left. We can see your bones through your dress."

She turned up her nose. "I can't eat. I'm not hungry."

I poured her a healthy glass of whisky. "Maybe this will improve your appetite. Give it a shot. And then eat something. I can see right through you."

No sooner had Julia and Peter headed for a sofa than Jillian appeared. She looked luscious in a long red dress and with her wild blond curls tumbling down her back. She narrowed her hazel eyes at me. "Thanks, Hampton. Thanks for nothing. You and Willy are idiots, inviting Richard here tonight. How do you think I feel?"

I shrugged. "Like it or not he's your brother. And if there's any way we can get to Tommy through Richard we will. This isn't about you. This isn't about me. Surely we can all put our personal differences aside tonight for Tommy."

Jack stepped in. "Yes, we can. I haven't seen Richard since the wedding either. But there's no shame in it because we didn't know who he really was at the time and you never made it to the conjugal bed. So, give it up. He's your biological brother and my real son. End of story."

She huffed away.

Jack made a face. "I did good didn't I Hamster? I didn't say that both her ex-husbands would be in the room tonight did I? She married you too, you big mutt."

"Yup. You had me fooled. I thought I actually had married her until I learned that the preacher was a bum you bought off the Tahiti beach. Nice."

"I did you a favor. She's a lot of trouble. I was hoping she'd marry Marco so the shoddy lawyer could keep her out of jail. But no. She bolted at the church. And that's another thing. I didn't tell her that I'm tired of paying for all her weddings, did I? I'm a nice guy."

"You're a peach, Jack." I tried to walk away but he tailed me like a cheetah until suddenly the room went still.

Enter Richard and entourage. I mean, who had greater presence than Richard Chang? Possibly me but then I tend to stretch the truth. And Willy, who went to greet the formidable four. King, Freddie and Shorty bowed while Richard shook his hand.

"He's a handsome devil, isn't he?" Jack whispered. "Looks just like his old dad."

"You wish. He looks like his mother."

"You killed his mother."

"I beg to differ. Her own guards killed her but that's another story. Take a big deep breath because your son is on his way over." King, Freddie and Shorty headed for the buffet.

Jack shuffled his feet. "Do you think he'll want a hug?"

"He's Richard Chang. He doesn't hug."

Jack stuck out his hand. "Richard."

Richard almost smiled. "Jack." He locked Jack's hand in a firm grip. "You owe me money, sir," he said in his soft English accent. "For the artifacts. And a certain cargo your other son turned in."

Jack cleared his throat. "Hamster isn't my real son."

"No? Charlie is more than your real son. He's your twin. Blindfolded I wouldn't know the difference. He talks like you. And he thinks like you which is scary. You've done a good job on him, Jack. You've ruined him."

Jack smiled. "I tried my best. But Willy was a bad influence on him."

Standing at Richard's side, Willy chimed in. "I couldn't fix him. He was a liar before I came along. He shot the neighbor's canary and blamed me."

Jack's jaw dropped. "Do you mean to tell me that Hamster shot that goddamned canary?"

"He did. And he made me shoot the canary after it was dead so I couldn't tell a lie."

Richard almost grinned. "I'm starting to like you more now, Charlie. You're not such a goodie-goodie after all."

Well, it had to happen sometime. Jillian maneuvered her tight red dress through the room. "Hello, Richard." She held out her hand and he kept it.

"How is my beautiful sister? You've never looked lovelier, by the way."

Except in her wedding gown I wanted to say but too much was at stake.

The conversation was cut short by the arrival of Richard's arch enemy and his mother, flanked by two sturdy guards. Willy hurried to greet them.

"He hasn't grown any," Richard remarked, eyes twinkling.

Reynold's hadn't. And he was hardly recognizable wearing a light-colored suit and minus the kippah controlling the thick dark hair on his head. I remembered the first time I saw him on the monitor in my Chinatown spying apartment.

Flashback:

Define weird. If you look it up in Webster's it says strikingly odd or unusual just before it says Reynolds Woo. About Reynolds. Where to start... The little guy was peculiar, to say the least. Firstly, he had tremendous hair, which shot sideways and wide but flat as a board on top, mostly due to the kippah he wore incorrectly on the front of his head. He didn't look Jewish to me. He had tiny hands and feet. Tinier extremities come only on Ken dolls or GI Joe action figures or newborn chimps. Little wire-rimmed glasses rested near the tip of his nose and above them a set of piercing brown eyes searched the Web as he bounced back and forth between computers, juggling virtual 'B and E's. I got dizzy just watching him.

And as for Mini Chin, his mother, well.

She had a plastic look to her, like a creepy old doll preserved in paraffin. Well-dressed, she wore the appropriate amount of gold jewelry for her status in life; wealthy. An expensive grey suit, coupled with her thinning grey hair, gave her the overall composite of being just that; grey. She headed straight for the bar.

And she hadn't changed in that regard either because she sniffed out Willy's bar like a beagle. While some may have thought her rude, brushing past her host to quench her thirst, Willy was old news to her I knew. She'd watched him grow up in Chinatown and had played mahjong with his mother on Saturday nights for thirty-some years. If she was impressed with his palace she didn't show it. Soon Willy was dragging Reynolds and Mini around for introductions and by the time they reached us, Mini had refilled her tumbler twice. To the brim. It was hard to keep quiet. I mean, Richard and Reynolds in the same space? They skipped the hand-shaking formality.

"You owe me money," Richard began.

Jeez! For a guy worth over two billion he worried a lot about money.

Little Reynolds grinned. "Come and get it."

And that was the end of the conversation because Reynolds turned on me. "Charlie! Who are you scamming these days?"

Ok. I deserved it. I'd taken money from him to spy on Richard and had goofed off. Little did he know it was because I was spying on him. But Willy seized the moment to gather everyone around. "Thank you all for coming tonight. It means a lot to me. We have a serious problem on our hands and we're going to need everyone's help. Charlie?"

Well, he hadn't exactly warned me but I'm reasonably good on my feet. I drained my glass. "I guess you all know it's about Tommy. Our Tommy has disappeared. He landed at LAX on Tuesday and hasn't been heard from since."

"Who is Tommy?" Mini asked in her raspy, Munchkin voice.

"Good question. Tommy Chang is Julia's adopted son. And he's Richard's biological son. He's Jack's grandson. His mother was Willy's cousin, Jackie and Billy's too. Tony Chan is his great uncle and your mahjong partner, Emily, is a relative too. Confusing?"

"He's not related to me," Reynolds quipped.

"No, he's not. But we can still use your help if you'd be so kind. You have computer skills that others here do not."

He shot his nose in the air. "How do you know so much?"

From watching you on a monitor, I wanted to say, but Richard cut in.

"Come on, Reynolds. We all know about the hacking. You likely know the bank account numbers of everyone in this room. And the balances too."

Polite titters. But it shut Reynolds up.

Julia removed a tissue from her bag and dabbed at a tear.

"Do you want to say something, Julia?"

"Yes. I'm so worried about Tommy. And I'd appreciate anything that anyone can do to help." The tears came streaming down.

OMG. King Chin started to cry too. Freddie reached over and patted him on the back. Shorty just stood there with a sour look on his face, like he'd shit his pants.

So I said, "There are pictures of Tommy on my Facebook page. You can message me there or email or text me on my cell. Willy has all my information. And to reiterate, we appreciate anything that anyone can do to help."

At the bar I knocked back a big one. And guess who was holding out his glass. "Don't be a pig, Hamster. Leave a little for me."

Tony was right behind him. "I'll have one too. A double."

"I'll have a scotch," a pleasant British accent said. "That's if Mini Chin hasn't inhaled it all."

Alright. So I was bartender. It beat scamming but not by much. After Jack and Richard left to catch up, Tony giggled. "What do you think they're saying?"

"Beats me. Father and son talk I guess."

"Like you and Jack?"

"Na. Jack won't be able to boss Richard like he bosses me. He got me at ten years old and brainwashed me. He didn't get Richard until he was thirty-three. By then Richard was a hardened criminal."

"Are you starting to like Richard better?"

"No. I'm not like you, Tony. You think Richard has nice manners for a cold-blooded killer."

He smiled. "You're a poor sport, Charlie."

Ching appeared just then looking flushed. "There's a young lady at the door with suitcases. She says her parents live here. Veronica and Bartolo."

# Chapter Ten

What to tell Eva. Hmm. After a quick conference with Willy we met her at the door. She was a lovely girl and with the perfect name because she looked like a young Eva Longoria, eighteen or nineteen at best. She was wearing a floral dress of pinks and purples, the new one mentioned in her letter, I figured. After the introductions, Willy said,

"Your parents aren't here, Eva. I'm not sure where they went or when they'll be back but you're welcome to stay in the meantime. You can stay in their room at the back of the house if you like."

She nodded.

"I'm running a hotel at the moment. Free of charge, naturally. My family is here from Vancouver. They're loud. But don't let that scare you. Most are harmless except for the big guy named Jack. He'll tease you but that's about it. Just sass him back and he'll like you."

She smiled. "It is noisy. Are you having a party?"

"Of sorts. A family member is missing, unfortunately, and we've gathered hoping to find him. Who knows? Maybe you can help. He's about your age." After asking Ching to take her luggage he steered her towards the crowd. "Take a breath because you're going to meet a lot of people. There's a buffet with food and champagne if you're old enough to drink."

She shook her head. "I don't drink."

"Ata girl. It's bad for you. My friend Charlie here drinks too much and he's likely to meet an early grave."

I remained in the foyer for a while knowing that eventually this sweet young woman would have to be told the truth. Or an edition of the truth.

Much later in the library, after the house went still, Willy and I met for a nightcap. "The well is never an option," he began. "It never happened."

I agreed. "Got any bright ideas on that?"

"Disappearance. Done. We know nothing."

"But we will. I will find the murderers. Then what?"

"Are you kidding me? Like we bring the bodies up to prove it? And implicate ourselves?"

"You worry too much. There has to be an easier way."

"Easy for you to say. You don't have two dead people on your property."

I sat back to think. "Any chance you could change your gardeners to earlier in the week? Say Monday or Tuesday?"

"Ching could try. You can't wait for Thursday?"

"No. I bought a new pair of shoes for a guy and I'm anxious to give them to him."

"You're strange, Hampton. Really strange."

With that I downed my drink and shuffled off to bed.

The following morning I met up with Eva in the back garden. She was scared. Too many people at the breakfast table and she didn't dare sit down. I therefore returned to the kitchen to fill two plates.

I sat across from her at the glass-topped garden table. "Just eat what you like. There's plenty of fruit if you're a vegetarian."

She smiled. "I eat everything. It looks really good."

"Maya's jianbing is the best. You've got to try it. I got addicted in Beijing."

She picked up a half. "What is it?"

"It's a crepe with an egg and fresh herbs on top. And her own special sauce. Try it. There's a crispy wonton inside."

Her eyes lit up. "It's so good! I can see why you got addicted."

"She hadn't made it in years until I came home from China and begged her to. Now she makes it non-stop. Tony says it's an aphrodisiac."

"The old guy?"

"The horny old guy. But if it makes you horny I'm sorry. We're all too old for you here."

She giggled. "I like you Charlie. You're fun."

"Well, keep it to yourself. Most people don't like me at all and I prefer things that way. You know, so they don't bug me for no reason."

Things started to come together after breakfast when Eva told me her parent's story. After their illegal arrival in California their future employer had confiscated their possessions and forced them into slave labor, her mother as a domestic and her father a field worker. They lived in different camps too so couldn't communicate. Eva said she was lucky to have escaped such brutality by being placed in a Mexican convent but didn't hear from her parents for a while. But then her dad managed to escape and rescue her mother. Luckily, a distant relative lived here and sheltered the two until they could forge a new life.

Thoughts of my beautiful Jada came to mind as I listened to Eva's story. Jada's fight against human trafficking, a rapidly growing industry world-wide, had cost her. Forty million slaves in the twenty-first century seemed impossible yet entirely true. Thailand and Brazil topped the list of horrors, I learned from Jada.

I told Eva that although Jackie and Billy seemed immature on certain levels if she wanted to learn tennis, well, she had the best at her disposal. I walked her to the tennis court before saying good-bye for the day. While in the kitchen preparing to dispose of my dishes I was confronted by Maya in a panic.

"Is Jack with you?"

"Can you see him?"

Her brown eyes flashed at me. "Don't be cheeky, Charlie! Everyone is frantic. It seems that Jack has disappeared."

I didn't even cringe. "Well, here we go again."

And again. "I'm going home," I told Willy, who'd just pulled himself out of the pool after a swim. "Jack is all yours."

"Funny. But he's your problem, not mine." He shook his wet hair like a dog.

"Right. I didn't invite him here, you did."

"And I didn't shoot the fucking canary, you did."

"So, is this some sort of axiom? Does this mean Jack is a canary?"

We started to laugh.

Jillian came splashing over, all wet. "I can't believe you two! Jack has gone missing and all you can do is laugh? Do I have to call the police?"

I nodded. "Why don't you do that, Jillian? And while you're at it tell them about your passport. You know, the one Peter forged so you could leave the country."

She splashed away.

Willy showed his glistening teeth. "She was never a good sport, Hampton. I never did see what you saw in her other than her gorgeous face and smoking hot body."

"You know I'm shallow."

"I do."

With that we headed off to strategize.

Might Mini Chin have nabbed Jack again? Her A-Team of eight slinky black cats had taken him once and would have no problem getting past Willy's guards to grab him again. But why? To punish Richard? Yes, Richard had offed her baby, Bugs Zee, but he wasn't that fond of Jack and vice-versa. As far as Richard was concerned she could keep Jack and I was leaning in that direction myself. I ruled Mini and Reynolds out.

What about Richard? Dead end. Jack was more trouble than he was worth to Richard, and anyone else for that matter. He was only important to himself. Tony hadn't been nabbed, although once again Jack may have been taken to keep Tony in line. I doubted it, though, since it had all been done before. It might have helped had the surveillance cameras – inside and out – not been disabled by someone who knew the property well. I wasn't trusting Willy's night guards.

In the library, Willy shook his hair at me. "I told you Kow Gong sent the damn guards. And no I didn't check their references. How was I supposed to do that when they don't exist? It's not like these boys came from an agency. They came from an underground network of not nice people."

I got it. They'd be back that night and I'd be on them. In the meantime I was off to LAX to talk to the flight attendant soon to arrive from Vancouver. Tommy was out there somewhere, depending on me, and hopefully surviving in the meantime. The attendant, Michelle, had little to offer in addition to her note. She affirmed Tommy's picture and said he'd been met by a woman, possibly Filipino. This woman had raised a sign with his name on it, first name only. Michelle didn't think they waited to collect his baggage, just headed for the exit sign.

On the way back to Willy's, Julia called me in the car. "I've gone through his Facebook page a third time as you asked. And this time something did strike me differently. A young Asian girl, possibly Tommy's age. At first I thought it was one of his friends from school because they look somewhat alike. Same haircut, style, etc. And he only has people he knows on his page because he doesn't trust. But then I saw pictures of his friend and it wasn't her. His friend has a mole just above her upper lip. This girl doesn't."

"Is she listed as a friend?"

"Yes. I see that now. Her name is Isla Hoe."

"Is there communication between the two?"

"I couldn't see any."

"Did you go into the girl's page?"

"I tried but it's blocked."

"Well, luckily we have someone who knows how to get around that. Two people, in fact. They like to compete so I'll put them on it right away. And thanks, Julia. We may have something here."

Tony called shortly after Julia, wanting me to take him to Richard's house for a meeting. Richard had information worth having a drink over, certainly. Willy stayed behind to man the fort and to begrudgingly computer-hack. Tony should have stayed there too because he was in a whiny mood. He whined about everything, about my convertible and the wind, about my speeding and my heavy foot. He whined all the way to the foothills and up the winding driveway where we were greeted by guards with guns and dogs.

"Richard knows I hate Dobermans," he complained. "He should have put them away."

"I'll tell him."

"You're not funny, Charlie. You're just not. It's hot in your car and the sun is hurting my head." He lifted his hat and rubbed his sweaty brow. "And these sunglasses are leaving permanent marks on my nose." He rubbed there too.

Richard actually walked out to meet us. And no, he wasn't showing an improved opinion of me. He opened the godfather's door. "You are honoring us with your presence, sir."

Shorty Poo was in the doorway jumping up and down. "Tony Chan!" he hollered to his cohorts who appeared out of nowhere.

Even King Chin smiled. "Tony Chan is here! He has come to honor us!"

So, what was amazing about all of this is that Shorty Poo now knew a few English words: 'Don't move, Char'lee,' he learned while holding a gun to my head after kidnapping me and now 'Tony Chan'. Well, he'd certainly known Tony by reputation and could finally say his name.

Once we were seated in the second-story library, Richard signaled to Shorty who puffed over with drinks on a leather tray. It was leather this and leather that with Richard. There was even a leather saddle on a corner stand which I found confusing, since Richard didn't look like a cowboy to me. Tony was giving me the shut-up squint so I bit my tongue.

Over drinks Richard delivered some semi-shocking news. Word was, the godfather was too old now and needed to be taken out. Who would replace him since Richard Chang was dead? Well, a few Triad leaders were stepping up so maybe Tony wanted to play dead too.

Tony shook his old grey head. "I'm good for another ten years. I'll retire at ninety-four and not a minute sooner. I'm easing back here and in Nevada but will keep my holdings in Macau. I'm king of high roller rooms there and that's not going to change."

Richard narrowed his falcon-like eyes. "I think you should reconsider. It's certainly not about the money at this point. You could live very comfortably without all the worry."

"And give up my power? You're joking."

"I'm only saying, Mr. Chan. I don't want to come out of hiding to avenge a crime if I don't have to. You'd be doing both of us a favor by stepping back."

Tony's old brown eyes twinkled. "Too bad I don't like you better, Richard. As it stands I like me more."

"You may be putting others at risk."

"They know the risks. They always have. And no one would miss Charlie here if he got blown away."

Richard actually smiled. "Finally we agree on something."

Well, they were asking for it. "About that saddle, Richard. Did your horse die?"

He shook his head. "Charlie, you're an ass. A horse's ass to be precise."

Open door. "I'm in good company then. And maybe I'll borrow the saddle to go for a ride on a real horse. Leather doesn't actually stick to wood, does it? You must slide off a lot."

The phony smile faded from Richard's face.

I didn't care. Sure, maybe he thought I meant a dobby horse or a stick horse or even the Trojan Horse, none of which he'd attempted to mount. The saddle was so new it squeaked all on its own.

Tony shot me a look I could feel in my crotch. He was going after my balls. "We'll be leaving now, Richard. I have to drop this boy off at the infirmary. You know, fever and all." And then he whispered. "You know he was never quite right. Dropped on his head as a baby. You should see the drool on his pillow."

Richard told his boys to see us out.

On the way back to Willy's I asked, "Who knows you're here, Tony? Besides the family."

"My boys. I had to get some guards for Willy. You know, after the two of you shot those Mexicans."

"We didn't shoot them! What did Willy tell you anyway?"

"That you dragged them to a well and plopped them in. Innocent people don't do that."

I wanted to kill Willy. _Don't say anything, Hampton_ , he said to me but then blabbed to his uncle. Jeez. But it became clear to me at that exact minute that Tony Chan may have been the intended target and that maybe Jack just got in the way.

# Chapter Eleven

When we returned to the house we were met by Jillian pacing the foyer. Her blond curls were askew and her eyes wild. "Where have you been, Hampton? I've been texting you. You don't even seem to care that Jack is missing."

I steered her into the living room. "I'm doing my best. We have two missing people you know."

She teared. "What if they don't come back? What if we never see them again?"

I wrapped her in my arms. "We'll find them. It's just unfortunate for you and Julia to have both gone missing. I don't see a connection but I'll figure things out. That's my job."

She sniffled. "I know you will. But you must be tired of rescuing my dad."

I half-laughed. "It's almost a fulltime job. When I teased him about being a professional kidnap victim I didn't know there'd be a third. I mean, what are the chances?"

"He wouldn't have left on his own, would he?"

"Never. Jack never goes anywhere alone. He doesn't drive and I doubt he even knows how to call a cab. He's been chauffeured since he was seventeen. I have Willy checking his email to see if he was up to something we didn't know about but I doubt it. Tony knows everything about Jack. That late-night whisky in the library at home pretty much loosens his tongue. He isn't doing anything new either, nothing that he hasn't been doing in the last thirty years. No new business take-overs. Nothing."

"Dead end?"

"Not for long. And I hope you'll do me a favor. The girl Eva. Her parents are missing too and she's shy. Do you think you could befriend her? I mean, maybe give her one of the thirty bikinis you packed still with the price tags on?"

She pulled away. "How did you know that?"

"You were four years old when I came to live with your family. There isn't much about you I don't know."

She wiped her tears with her bare arm. "I'll give her a couple. And I'll let her pick them herself. She's such a pretty girl and you're right. She is shy. It must be hard for her to be among so many strange people."

I grinned. "You got that right. We are strange. She has every reason to be terrified."

She grinned too. "Maybe even horrified."

We left it there.

While Richard had a penchant for Asian guards, Tony's boys were Caucasian. Not that he'd picked them out, he told me. He just borrowed them. After learning that little tidbit I leaned toward agreeing with Richard, in that maybe it was time for Tony to step down. Later that night I was standing on the front steps dragging on a cigarette and watching the boys patrol. They were identical twins, actually, tall and muscular with bright red hair. So much for camouflage. They were Kip and Kenny with a last name Stupid, I decided, after trying to chat them up. Not that they liked me at all. How did I know? Because they said so.

"We don't like you, Canadian," Kip said right off. "We don't like your accent."

Jeez! Just because I asked if they had steady work.

"None of your business, Canuck." Kenny crowed.

Plan B. I sent Shoeshine, an American draft dodger, outside to do my job. He came back laughing. "They called you fancy pants. They don't like your Gucci jeans."

Funny. "What did you learn?"

"Other than they don't like you? They don't know who hired them. They get their instructions and their pay cheques by email. End of story."

Another job for Willy who had now enlisted Reynolds. Willy wasn't stupid. In the library, in the wee hours, Willy said, "It's not a simple matter. We have to start with Tony and work through the organization. We have to work from the top down."

"How long will it take?"

"Depends. I'll corner Kow Gong first thing in the morning. That's if he remembers anything. He has a tendency to not clog his brain with details. It's called dementia."

"You and I both know that Tony is smarter than the two of us combined. There's something he's not telling us though. He may have made a mistake."

"It's possible. But if he has we'll find it."

The following morning I checked the back garden for Eva who was sunning herself on a lounger. "Nice bikini, Eva."

She sat up. "Jillian gave it to me. It's brand new."

"It's just your color too." The yellow was perfect for her skin. She was a poster girl for yellow.

"Jillian is very nice."

"She can be."

"Do you like her?"

"I love her. She's my almost sister."

"I mean. Do you like her in another way?"

"It's a long story. Let's just say that right now two people we both love are missing. We have that in common."

"Two people I love are missing too. I just don't know why they'd go off without telling me when they knew I was coming."

"I'm working on that too. But in the meantime, the gardeners are coming today. There are two young Mexican boys about your age that work the side garden. One of them doesn't have shoes. I bought him a pair but I'll be gone for most of the day." I handed her the box. "Do you think you might see that he gets these?"

She smiled. "You're trying to trick me, aren't you?"

"I am but you're not supposed to know. I thought maybe you could use a friend."

Across the desk from me the task force officer eyed me overtop her skinny glasses. She was a pleasant looking woman possibly fifty and wearing a tan pin-striped suit. Her dark hair was pulled back into a knot tight enough to hurt her face. She didn't trust my credentials. "Is there no work in Canada," she began. Her cuckoo clock, a nice yellow and green piece, saved me.

"Nice clock," I said sarcastically. "I didn't think they made those anymore."

"It was my grandmothers. It's very old and hardly ever works. The bird must like you." No smile.

"Birds like me a lot." I hated birds, especially stupid wooden ones but said, "I'm looking for a couple of people who've disappeared. They were once victims of human trafficking and may well have become victims again."

She squinted her brown eyes at me. "This isn't a police station. We don't actually track people down here."

"I'm not asking you to. What I'm asking is to gain better insight into trafficking in California. I made the appointment because I understand you're knowledgeable in this area. Anything I could learn might prove helpful."

She started to relax. "What do you know about human trafficking?"

"More than one might think. I lost a person close to me due to her activism against it. She was murdered."

"It comes with the territory, I'm afraid. Slave traders, as one might expect, have no scruples. Murder means little to them. Their captives are kept in deplorable conditions, in sheds or abandoned buildings, often without food or water and are paid nothing. Some even starve to death."

"Some with no shoes?"

"Yes, with no shoes. Often lured by social media, illegal immigrants come here hoping for a better life and we know that rarely happens. Some are trafficked by their smugglers, others by their employers. Women and girls are more likely than not forced into prostitution. The cleaning business, domestic and industrial, is big here for both men and women. Construction and agriculture too, not to forget landscaping."

"I'm wondering about the agencies that handle this business."

"Many are owned and operated by the employers. And very hard to crack. Only when we get information from escaped hostages do we investigate. Even then it's hard."

"Are there lists of suspect agencies?"

She finally smiled. "Yes. There are agencies we've tried to shut down and failed. So far. But we're not giving up. This is confidential, naturally."

"Of course."

On my way out I called Willy on my cell. I needed that list yesterday.

He complained about being my secretary. "You need to get an assistant, Hampton. This shit is beneath me, you know."

"Ok. Find me an assistant that can hack into a computer network faster than a skunk can rifle through garbage and I'll let you off the hook. In the meantime we have two missing people and two in the well."

"What if I told you that the people in the well aren't there anymore? That they're gone."

"I'd say you're full of shit."

"I'm not. I checked today. Yesterday there were two floating bodies and today there are none. It's empty."

"You're kidding me."

"I'm not. And unless a shark got in, well, it doesn't much matter. We've lost the evidence either way."

"I'm sort of relieved."

"Don't be. There isn't a lot of space in that well. Someone may be making room for new bodies."

Sometime later I walked into the landscaper's front office in a Santa Ana industrial park. There I was met by a cranky old clock-watcher. "My shift was over ten minutes ago," the man with the wrinkled forehead barked. "Save your questions for my replacement."

Ok. I'd be cranky too had I shriveled into a prune in the California sun. "Mind if I look around in the meantime?"

"Go ahead. This is it. There's no access to the warehouse or yard. This door is locked from the other side."

"I'll just wait outside then, fella."

I walked to the back of the building and waited. At almost six o'clock the trucks should be arriving, I figured, and wasn't far wrong. I stepped into the shadows to watch as Willy's outfit rolled in and the boys hopped out. I smiled when I saw the new shoes on a pair of young feet and hoped he didn't have blisters, since I'd forgotten to buy socks. It was the last thing I remembered.

Double vision. It's what comes with a concussion. I was lying on a cement floor staring at a big pair of shoes that came with the Mexican sumo wrestler sneering down at me. He shoved me with his foot, although in some countries this is called a kick. I hurt all over. My body was being dragged across the floor to a cement wall for propping against.

"Snooping around were you, copper?" He removed my wallet from his belt and shoved it in my face. "We don't like snoopers here."

He wasn't the type of guy who'd like much of anything, I decided. One of him was ugly enough, with a mop of dark hair and a mustache the same color and size, but two of him was scary. He came in and out of view.

"You lost or something? You're a long way from home, copper." He kicked me again.

I passed out then and started to dream about a well full of floating dead bodies. There were plenty in the beginning but were being pulled up by a fishing rod, one by one. A fisherman was loading them onto a wagon hooked to a garden tractor and after five or so bodies he sat down to rest. Willy came along just then and took out a wad of bills. The little bugger was paying the man to take the bodies away. He needed more room, he said. There were plenty more bodies to come.

I woke up to find myself alone. Although I was missing a gun, my empty wallet was on my chest and auxiliary lighting guided me to the side door. I lowered my body into the car and groaned all the way home. To add insult to injury, Kip and Kenny made fun of me in the driveway. "Got yourself beat up, did you, fancy pants? Your face isn't so pretty now, is it?"

Covered by little more than a short bathrobe, Jillian was waiting inside. "I was worried about you! And rightly so. You look terrible."

"I feel worse."

"It's three a.m.!" She led me to the kitchen where she ran water in the sink. With a cloth from a drawer she started to dab my face.

"That hurts, you know."

"Serves you right. Why do you always go looking for trouble, Hampton? Can you not just live a normal life?"

"Define normal."

"Not getting yourself beat up would be a start."

"I like getting beat up. It hardly hurts at all."

"You're not funny. I'm worried sick about Jack and now I have to worry about you too?"

"Sorry. It's a hazard of the job."

"Did you learn anything?"

I finally smiled. "That's exactly what Jack would say. You're turning into him you realize."

She smiled too. "It's not like you to hand out compliments, Hampton."

With that she beetled off to bed and I headed for the shower.

# Chapter Twelve

With little sleep I pieced together a new Gloc 9. While some people are proficient at Rubix Cube, I'm skilled at building guns. It comes with practice. I headed for the kitchen where Maya had an old-fashioned coffee pot dripping away. She eyed me up and down.

"You look awful. Is the other guy dead?"

"Not this time. He got away without a scratch. He won't again though."

She looked like a little porcelain doll in a crisp pink dress and white apron. "You say that all the time, Charlie. But unless you shoot them dead you tend to lose."

Tony came in smiling. "She's right. You're a mess again. You look like chopped liver."

Willy was on his heels. "Jesus, Hampton! I let you out and this is what I get? A defective P.I.? How are you going to work today?"

I tried to smile. "Last time I looked you weren't paying my salary, bud. And I'll work. Slowly, but I'll work."

"And play tennis," Tony added.

"How's that?"

"Richard is coming for a doubles match with you, Jackie, and Billy."

"Well, that's just fucking lovely! Like I have nothing else on my plate."

"Don't get all huffy. I invited him. Richard knows things, Charlie. Things he's not telling. You know that too. You said."

"So he's going to tell me on the tennis court? You know I suck at tennis. Richard's not that good either and he's a poor sport."

Tony chortled. "And you're not? You're the poorest sport on the planet. So we'll see who sulks after the game. So, here's the deal. If Jackie plays with you, you'll win. Not that Billy isn't good but Jackie is just that much better. So, this is what I think. You play with Billy and lose. That way you'll have Richard in a good mood over drinks and he may tell you things. Like you, he likes to brag."

"Thanks. That's just what I need today. To lose at tennis. To boost my self-esteem."

"You have more self-esteem than you need. You could lose a little."

Willy shook his shiny hair. "Ditto. I can't wait to see sulking Hampton after the game with his dog-lips dragging on the ground. It'll be my laugh for the day."

I gritted my teeth. Well, time was running out for Jack so I had no choice. But I didn't like it. And getting bugged about being a poor sport pissed me off. So, maybe I was the poorest loser on the planet next to Jack who tended to sulk when beaten. So what? Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser, guaranteed. And it wasn't going to fun arguing with the boys who tended to argue over everything. Before Richard and company arrived I met with Jackie and Billy at the tennis court out back.

Jackie sat down on the court. "I'm not playing with the big cwriminal,"

"Why should I have to play with Amster?" Billy whined. "I don't want to wose."

I pulled out a wad of bills. "How much?"

Jackie vehemently shook his head. "Oh no, Amster. You can't buy us off this time. I want to play with you. Billy can play with the big cwriminal."

I put the money away. "Which one of you wants to deal with Kow Gong?"

"We'll take the money," they said in unison.

"It's too late. You had your chance."

Jackie dug in. "Give us the money or we'll beat your fucking head in."

I laughed. "In case you haven't noticed my head just got beaten in. However, if all goes as planned I'll pay you after the game. Capiche?" As I walked to the sidelines to remove my sweater I heard Billy say, "Amster is full of shit."

So, Richard and his goons arrived and the game began. Lucky for me I'm left-handed because my right arm was pretty sore. And speaking of sore, the two sour faces on the court were equaled only by three on the sidelines, their hinnies parked in striped canvas lawn chairs. King, Freddie and Shorty showed their teeth. Grrr. Richard looked dapper in his Union Jack duds and may have kept winning forever had his partner not quit after two sets because of phony blisters.

Richard shook my hand. "Tough luck, old boy. I'd feel better though had you not thrown the match. You hardly moved today."

"Do I look like I can move?"

"Quite frankly no. You look like you've been through a meat grinder. I'm almost feeling sorry for you and I don't even like you."

"Touché. You should see the other guy."

"You shot him didn't you?"

"I will next time."

Jackie was standing with his hand out.

"In my pants over there. Help yourself."

His eyes blazed. "I'm not your servant. Get it for me."

Richard squinted at me. "Can't control your employees, Charlie? I have a cure for that."

Jackie retrieved the money in a flash.

"They don't actually work for me. They work for Jack." We headed for the bar near the barbecue centre where I pulled us a draft beer. I started in.

"I think Jack may have happened upon something accidently. You mentioned Tony's enemies the other day. I'd like to start there."

"You haven't had enough trouble?"

"Not when Jack is at risk. If he's still alive."

We settled in to talk.

During this discussion, Jackie hung out with Richard's goons and when they'd all gone home he couldn't wait to tell me what I already knew. The boys, all pushing sixty, didn't like me.

"They say your farts stink like skunk." He giggled.

"Willy told them that. They don't actually know firsthand. But if they keep it up I'll give them a nose full."

"Shorty says you're an asshole."

"He's a one-horse pony. Has he nothing new?"

"He says you think your shit doesn't stink. And that you need an operation on your nose."

"Well, that's new. Was there anything else?"

"Yes. But I can't tell you. It's a insult."

"Let's have it. I can take it."

He giggled. "Shorty says you couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag."

Ok. I supposed my bruised face was a clue. "Nice. I have a few choice words for Shorty Poo but I'll save them for another day."

There was bad news, you see. Richard thought that again Jack had stuck his interfering nose in where it didn't belong. He hoped not but one of his guys had infiltrated a Vietnamese organization and there was a rumor. Tony Chan was going down and they had the bate. I found Willy, who was mesmerizing a new groupie by the pool by the name of Eva. Jillian was ignoring him as usual.

"If you're finished playing pied piper we have work to do, bud. In case you forgot, Jack's in trouble."

He shook his wet hair. "Then he can get himself out. It's time he learned to fight for himself." He nevertheless splashed along behind me. "I'm really tired of Jack."

"Aren't we all? But there's a girl we both love who's very worried about her dad and we can't let her down."

"Can we kill him after that?"

"You can. I'm kinda stuck."

After we'd showered and changed we met in his office. "I know what you're going to say," he whined. "And I've already hacked everything there is to be hacked. I did it the day he disappeared. Not that he's clean. Quite the contrary. He's very messy and disorganized. But he's messy like a fox. It would be hard for anyone to follow his trail."

"Well, I hate to say it but you have to do it again. There's something about California there. Richard said that when they had their private talk the night of your party Jack told him he was working on something here."

"Really? He's working on something here and he didn't tell either you or me. Very strange."

"Is there anyone stranger than Jack?"

"You. You're just like him only stranger. Have you looked in a mirror today? Your face is pulverized."

"It isn't permanent. My nose isn't even broken. Just a couple of black eyes."

"Well, don't come near me when I'm eating. I'm squeamish."

"Just do your job. I need a place to start. And by the way, did those dead bodies ever come back to the well?"

"I haven't looked. Why do you ask?"

"Because I dreamt they did."

"I'd tell you to go and look but you'd likely fall in. I'll check later but I sincerely doubt it."

I left to find Eva who was sunning herself at the pool in a sky-blue bikini. With her small hand she shielded her eyes from the sun. "Did you learn anything about my parents?"

"I'm working on it."

"You scare me because you got beat up. I'm afraid my parents did too."

"Well, let's not worry yet. You gave the shoes to the boy?"

She smiled. "I did. And a pair of my ankle socks. They were black so he wouldn't look girlie."

"You're a good kid. I'll replace the socks. Did you talk to him at all? In Spanish?"

"He speaks English. Not well but he does. He couldn't talk to me long though. He was scared to be caught not working."

"Did he have a name?"

"He had to get back to work so he didn't say."

"What did you notice about him?"

"He was scared, that's all. The other boy too. They worked hard yesterday."

"Well, we're going to try to help them but it won't be easy."

"You're nice, Charlie. And I'm sorry you got beat up."

"Me too."

Later, when I met with Willy in the library for our nightly nightcap, he had hacking news. It was possible, he now thought, that Jack had been doing his own research and may have tried to meet with one of Tony's rivals, to negotiate, on the chance they took Tommy. Being Tony's great nephew, Tommy was a likely kidnap victim. Great. And I couldn't fight my way out of a wet paper bag? Try Jack, who could barely brush his own teeth. But Willy saved the biggest news for last. The bodies were back in the well.

# Chapter Thirteen

Anyone for exhumation? These body-snatchers were weird. Stealing was one thing but returning the corpses quite another. I know I was depressed.

"You know I don't swim," I said in my own defense.

"Do you know what's so funny about that, Hampton? I don't either. Have you ever noticed that I stay in the shallow end of the pool?"

"Because that's where the hot babes are?"

"Of course. And because I almost drowned trying to chase one to the deep end. I learned."

"But you always bug me."

"It's easy. You have a complex about it I don't."

I was thinking. "There has to be people that do this sort of thing for a living."

"And not ask questions?"

"We can't do this ourselves. I'm not licensed to perform autopsies."

He cracked up. "I think we can assume the cause of death. Right?"

"Shot dead. Both. And?"

"Maybe someone was short on bullets, let's say. And let's say these people needed to get back every bullet they owned for a special gun. A very rare gun."

"You're full of shit. But I kind of like it when you're drinking. Your IQ slips to normal."

"Not possible. But I'll have another." He held out his glass. "Had I known that stupid was this much fun I'd have tried it earlier." His face went purple.

So, half way through the night, Willy and I went to the well. He started up the garden tractor and I threw up. Just kidding! You can't actually throw whisky up because it sticks to your gut. He threw a big chain at me that ended in a hook. We didn't speak. I mean, what do you say when exhuming soggy bodies? Didn't mean to hurt you? When at last we were able to examine the corpses with our cellphone flashlights we noticed something new: two missing right earlobes, one on each dead body.

"Expensive jewelry?" Willy asked.

"I doubt it. They weren't wealthy people. I'm leaning more to electronic tagging."

"Like a dog chip?"

"Sort of. Only a people chip. Dog chips are used to locate owners. A people chip is used to tract people. To determine their whereabouts."

"Don't talk down to me, Hampton. Location tracking is not one, single technology. Rather it is the convergence of several technologies that can be merged to locate people or even livestock. Do you want more?"

I didn't. Even drunk Willy was a walking Wikipedia.

Later in my en suite bathroom I showered for an hour.

The following morning over coffee by the pool Willy said, "Reynolds and Mini are home. They arrived safely."

"I'm glad."

"You won't be when I tell you what I know. Reynolds has been hacking into Jack's office computer. I don't know why I just know he's been there."

I could picture little Reynolds in his Chinatown apartment hacking into other people's money, just for fun. "At least Tony controls Jack's assets and they're protected like fort Knox. Or so I'm led to believe."

"You've been led right. I couldn't even crack those foreign accounts. But Reynolds is after something. I'm just not sure if he's on the side of good or evil."

"Why don't you ask him?"

"That's way too simple. I need to watch him and stay a step ahead. If I stick my nose in he may quit something that might lead us to Jack. And on that note, Peter and Julia are going home today. Would you have any objection to Jackie and Billy going too? To monitor Reynolds from your spying apartment? You know. The one you took a two-year lease on and used for a week."

I smiled. I had no objections but the two vacationers across the pool from us might. Stretched out on loungers, with sunglasses engulfing their little faces, Willy's cousins had rapidly become addicted to the good life. "Are you going to tell them or should I? With a gun."

"You know they sulk. So we'll leave it to Kow Gong. They won't dare sulk with him."

I felt bad. I should have had the courage to tell the boys, in a nice way, that they had to give up a luxury beach house for a mouse infested rat hole. I hid for the rest of the day. In my own defense I had things to do and was luckily able to drive away before the shit hit my guilt. After all, Willy had bought that mausoleum for his myriad relatives to retire in, had he not? I knew I wasn't going back. Until I got the call from Willy, that was.

"Problem. Earth to Bluetooth. Dead body."

Big deep breath. "Hopefully no body we know."

"Briefly. It's Kenny. Shot in the head and dragged to the back garden. There's a trail."

"Holy shit!" I looked for the nearest exit. "I'll be right back. We have to evacuate."

Shoeshine met me at the door. "Tony won't go," he whispered, throwing up his hands. "He's a stubborn old coot."

Tony pulled up behind him. "Maya will go but I'm staying."

"In your dreams, godfather. You may be the target. You're putting Willy and I at risk so you're gone."

He half-giggled. "That's very strong of you, Charlie. But remember who's in charge."

"I'm remembering. So have your bags at the door in half an hour. I'll take you home in a body bag if I have to. But you're going home."

He shook his old grey hair all the way up the stairs.

Jackie and Billy came dragging their bags to the door. Billy screwed up his face. "Oh, sure, Amster! You get to lie by the pool while we get to live with mice."

"At least you know the enemy. Jackie has names for them all."

Jackie tried not to smile. "Yeah. Jimmy mouse. Amster mouse. Amster asshole mouse."

I kicked his ass out the door.

Next came Peter trailing along behind Julia, who locked me in an embrace. "I know you'll bring them home, Charlie. You and Willy will."

"We'll skype every night with an update although don't believe anything Willy says. He's taken to drinking."

She laughed. "Willy can't metabolize alcohol. He turns all red."

"I know. But he doesn't seem to care. He now thinks red looks good on him."

"Well, just know that I'll be worried about the two of you."

Next came Jillian leading Ching, who was loaded down like a donkey with luggage.

I hugged her hard. "Eva is waiting outside. Thanks for agreeing to take her. I know she'll be safe with you. Just don't get her hugging too many trees. And keep her away from Marco, the letch. You've violated your parole by coming here so god knows what's waiting at home."

"Arrest, likely. At the airport. In which case, Julia has promised to take Eva under her wing."

I accidently kissed her. "Oops! Sorry. And sorry I can't go too but Tommy is a priority. And of course, Jack."

Her eyes filled with tears. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

As the cars began to pull out of the driveway I felt a lump in my throat. I wanted to tailboard. I wanted to go with those damn cars to wherever. In truth, it stunk waiting to end up in a well. But I didn't have to think about it long because the woman from the task force called. Could I meet her for a coffee mid-afternoon? I could. It was a short meeting but I was able to confirm my suspicions. Willy's gardeners were on the list of suspect traffickers.

Later that afternoon Willy and I sat at the bar in the back garden arguing over who should cut off Kenny's right earlobe. I knew I didn't want the job.

Willy didn't either. "It's your case, Hampton. You are the Sherlock. I'm just Watson."

"Blood makes me sick."

"Don't drink it then."

"Not funny."

"You're not paying me enough to operate. I'm not a surgeon."

"I'm not paying you. Jack is. But someone has to cut off the damn earlobe. And you operated on Veronica and Bartolo."

"I did? I don't remember. I have flashes of a garden tractor but that's it."

"Well, you were pretty drunk. So was I or I couldn't have helped the tractor pull the bodies up. But you operated."

He downed his coke. "Well I've quit drinking so you can't take advantage of me anymore." A silly smile crossed his face. "We could always ask Ching. He found the body so he already knows the guy's dead. If we threw a grand his way he might do it."

"If it were done when tis done then twell it were done quickly."

"Charlie? Cut the Shakespeare crap and peel off a grand. We need to bribe somebody."

My straight face betrayed me by turning into a smile. "It wouldn't help to cut off Kenny's earlobe, Willy. It's a microchip. The size of a grain of rice. It would be difficult to find."

"Then why did I cut off Veronica's and Bartolo's ears?"

"You didn't. I just told you that to see the look on your face. It was hysterical. Someone removed the bodies specifically to cut off the lobes. But if Kenny has a chip they'll be back to remove the evidence. Our job is only to plop him in the well."

Later, in the library, Willy said, "I need a drink. No ice cubes, Hampton. They hurt my teeth."

"I thought you quit."

"I did. But I'm falling off the wagon. Christ, is there room for any more bodies in that well?"

I handed him his tonic. "Well, the fact that Kip didn't show for work tonight says something. But I'm wondering what Kip might know. How do we find him?"

"We don't. I already told you the twins came from a network of not nice people. Trying to find Kip would only dilute our efforts. Especially in view of what I found today."

I stretched out in a chair across from him. "You said earlier that you had something."

"I did. I doubt the girl on Tommy's Facebook page is a girl at all. Her picture is real, yes. But there are several email addresses for this girl. Her face is being used for something."

"Procurement?"

"I'm guessing. She's communicating with both girls and boys. Inviting them to LA and showing pictures of a big house with fancy cars. It's a house on the ocean similar to mine but not quite as big. I doubt it's her house either."

"A catfish. Only worse because most catfishes just like to mess with people. I'm guessing there are bad people behind this girl's picture. Trafficking?"

He nodded. "So, Tommy?"

"So, Tommy could be a victim. He doesn't fit the type but that doesn't mean everything. Yes, he's a rich kid and isn't impressed by money. However, she's a pretty girl and he'd like her. And since he was coming to L.A. he'd feel he already had a friend here. Things are beginning to makes sense. Firstly, he'd deleted all communication with her from Facebook, leaving her picture only by accident. I'm guessing she – whoever she may be – instructed him to do that, for whatever reason. And secondly, he left without telling anyone and was likely instructed to do that too. It's how they work."

Willy screwed up his face. "He would have contacted Richard had he been able to. Or somebody in the family, at least. Both Jack and Tony knew where Richard was and it didn't take us long to find him. Also, Tommy knows that I know how to find people and he hasn't contacted me either."

I didn't like it. "There's a chance he's being held prisoner. And not for ransom, although that may come at some point as they learn more about him. I just hope he's not in the sex trade. About that list I asked you for?"

"Got it. There are several suspect companies."

"Thanks, bud. I'll narrow it down. I have a personal interest in your gardeners though. The young Mexican boys. I got knocked out so couldn't follow the truck that was waiting to take them from the warehouse yard but I won't be so stupid again."

# Chapter Fourteen

It occurred to me sometime during the night that the woman who came to meet Tommy at the airport may well be back to collect others. I had a description of her from Michelle: small, Asian looking – possibly Filipino – dark hair parted in the middle and pulled back into a bun. She was wearing a floral dress and although a variable, was likely the dress type. She had held up a cardboard sign with Tommy's name of it. And another thought? With the houseguests all gone, Ching may well be bored.

He didn't think so. "I don't do airports," he protested over breakfast. "I am a house manager. I manage this house and this yard."

Willy joined us in the kitchen for his morning coffee. He winked at me. "What exactly do you do to manage this house, Ching?"

Ching licked his upper lip. "Everything."

"Do you cook?"

"You know I don't. Evelyn does that."

"Do you clean?"

"You know I don't. The cleaning people do that."

"Laundry?"

"No."

"Do you garden?"

Ching narrowed his suspicious brown eyes. "Mr. Chan. You have a gardening service. But I manage all the services. I oversee."

Willy shook his shiny dark hair. "Well, let's put it this way, Ching. You can oversee the airport for a few days while I oversee things here. The change will do you good."

Ching dragged his feet out of the room.

During the drive to the airport, Ching continued with the attitude. Why couldn't I stay and wait for someone who was likely never going to show? He called me fancy pants too as he'd overheard Kip and Kenny taunting me behind my back. After all, I was only going to lay by the pool and play games on my cellphone, he thought. And no, he hadn't seen me doing that yet but I was the type of person who would, given the chance. I pulled into arrivals and shoved him out the door.

On my way to Richard's house I mulled my options. Was I willing to play Guinee pig to save Jack or could I con some lesser being into it? And since lesser beings weren't exactly lining up for the job I answered my own question. Me. I picked me. I waved good-bye to myself in the rear-view mirror as I passed by a row of guards pointing guns. Dogs growled and showed their teeth. Nice. Soon King Kong Chin, the butcher, would determine my fate.

Shorty Poo was waiting in the doorway sneering. "You bad man."

I nodded. "You ugly little prick."

He smiled. "You skunk."

Well, he was learning English fast. And it would be in my own best interest to die of natural causes before he iced me with a pick. I followed behind him to the second-floor library where Richard was comfortably lounging in a recliner, drink in hand. He pointed to the tumbler of whisky on a leather tray. "I'd say hello, Charlie, but then you may get the wrong idea," he began in his pleasant English accent. "I wouldn't want to mislead you."

I accepted the drink and the matching recliner. "I get it. If you started to like me and I died you might feel something. You might even smile."

The handsome Asian drug lord actually laughed. "You're funny. And we have a history of loving the same women so there is a chance that we'll develop a mutual tolerance one day down the road. You know, if I don't have to kill you."

I stared him down. "You tried that before and failed. Now it's my turn."

He changed the subject. "King will be joining us. He has some information to share."

King Chin was standing in the doorway flanked by Freddie and Shorty, should I try anything funny.

"You boys remember Charlie," Richard began.

They made terrible faces.

I nodded. "I like you guys too. See? You made me smile. We're off to good start."

"You bad man," Shorty spouted.

"You very bad man," Freddie reiterated.

King elbowed them both in the ribs. Enough, was the message. They inched their way into the room in a clump.

Richard waved them to a large leather sofa. "As I was saying, King has some information he might be willing to share. I'll translate if you don't mind."

"Fire away."

The goons stiffened.

Richard shot me a look. "Bad choice of words, Charlie." He then spoke to King in Chinese to which King rapidly and vociferously replied.

"King says he isn't doing this for you, Charlie. He's doing this for Jack. Be very clear on that." Richard's mouth twitched as he tried to smother a smile.

King ranted on for eons.

"He says that his cousin married a bloke from a Vietnamese gang here in Santa Ana. He says the gangs are mixed now but all are determined to snuff out Tony Chan. His cousin overheard a meeting, you see. She thinks they were planning on nabbing Jack and then sending Tony an ultimatum. Get out of the casinos or Jack bites it. There would have to be proof that Jack is alive, she says, so they would need to keep him alive."

I exhaled. "So, she doesn't know they actually have him. Just that there was a plan."

Richard nodded.

"I suppose it's a game of wait and see then. What if I got the name of a godfather or two and approached them?"

"Don't even think about it. It's not the way it's done and if they actually have Jack you want him alive, don't you?"

"Don't you?"

He shrugged. "I know I'm supposed to, his being my father and all. But I only recently learned that fact and it hasn't had time to sink in. He got you when you were ten. I mean, he got me at thirty-three and I'm supposed to be delirious about it all?" He motioned to the boys. "Thank you, gentlemen. That will be all."

Together they rose and in a clump left the room squawking, "Cha'lee bad man. Cha'lee very bad man."

I drove away from Richard's house still baffled by the man. What would it take for him to come out of hiding?

Back at the warehouse I skyped while waiting for the gardeners to return at the end of the day. Julia first.

"Oh, Charlie!" Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Things are in an awful mess with Jack and Tommy missing and Jillian in jail."

"I assumed as much since she hasn't returned my calls. Was it bad?"

"Well, you know Jillian. There was quite a scene at the airport. She fought. She kicked and screamed. It took four of them to take her down."

I chortled. "Sorry. I know it's not funny but I also know Jillian. Where's slimy Marco?"

"He called to say he's working the judge. Literally. You know Marco. He's likely bedding her."

She was right about that. Marco Midolo, a modern-day Omar Sharif – in looks only - was a ladies' man to the nth degree. And during the last court case, which I was forced by Jack to sit through, the shoddy lawyer had saved Jillian's hinny, yet again. If only she'd stop chaining herself to trees.

"How's Eva doing?"

"Poorly. I think Jillian's arrest traumatized her. She barely comes out of her room. Naturally she's worried about her parents. Anything on that front, Charlie?"

"Nothing. Sorry." Well, what could I say? That they were bobbing their best at the bottom of a well? That was crass I knew and I felt bad for Eva. "Tell Tony to teach her Chinese Checkers. He tortured me with that game for years."

"I'll tell him. Anything on Tommy? Anything at all?"

"We have a couple of leads. Nothing to share yet. But we will. Rest assured."

"Nothing on Jack?"

"A lead. Give us some time, Julia. We'll all be home soon."

I skyped Jackie and Billy next. "How are the mice?"

Jackie pressed his face against the phone. "Not funny, Amster. This place is a dump. My bed has lumps and Billy's sofa bed comes apart in the middle. He wakes up on the floor."

"How about the delivery? Are you getting enough dumplings?"

"You're cheap, Amster. Not enough. You need to order more."

"Ok. I'll double up. And the groceries?"

"We need doubles. The mice have babies."

Little liar. "Got it." The two Chan garbage trucks inhaled anything and everything edible. "What's Reynolds up to?"

"Stealing. He's still stealing money from bank accounts. Mostly Mini's."

It was his own money, actually. Mini never allowed Reynolds to keep the millions he earned from stealing so he just stole it back. He had myriad bank accounts in several countries.

"Willy says that Reynolds was in Jack's computer. Is there anything on Jack at all?"

"There was! Mini was here today and they talked Chinese. She said that Jack wasn't going to beat her. Does that make sense?"

"No. But keep on it. Let me know anything you see or hear on Jack."

Billy's face came into view. "Twipple. We need three times food. The baby mice had babies."

I ended the call.

Just then the garden truck rolled into the warehouse yard and the workers jumped down from the back. They were then loaded into a big black van which pulled away, and since I was parked at the end of the alley, I followed. As usual, I'd hedged my bet, this time with a tracker in a pair of sneakers in case I lost the vehicle in traffic. In due time we left the city and headed for the hills, soon to reach a long winding driveway which disappeared into the trees. I stayed on the main road, parked, and walked towards a row of old shacks, never painted. Several rows of these buildings – presumably used for storage at one point in time – lay hidden in the trees. Four identical vans were parked in a grassy space near a larger shack that I chose to investigate first. I peered into the building through a dirty window.

Mexican Sumo was there, sitting at a table and sipping on a beer, as were three other dudes of similar size. I made a promise never to drink beer again, just before my lights went out. I awoke to a familiar mug spitting a mouthful of beer in my face.

"You didn't learn much, did you, Canuck?"

I was seated in a ratty armchair that even with a swollen nose I could smell. It stunk. "I'm sorry but I don't remember your name." I said. Behind him three blurry faces evilly grinned.

"I remember yours," Mexican Sumo spat. "It's stupid. Your name is stupid. I felt sorry for you once but I won't again. Mind telling me how you got so stupid?" He slapped me hard.

I didn't say anything, mainly because at that point in time I felt stupid. Like, I might have had a backup?

He closed in on my face with his rotten breath. "Thanks for the gun. Thanks for both guns, in fact. I have two of yours now. Got any more? It isn't fair that there are four of us here with only two guns." He slapped me again. "That's very selfish of you."

His amigos hooted.

Well, it was worth a try. "I can get more. I make them myself."

That brought down the house. They killed themselves laughing. He makes guns, they said, over and over again. Right.

They were starting to piss me off. "I not only make guns I build Gloc 9s. It's my specialty."

Now they thought I was a comedian and almost rolled on the floor laughing.

"Well, gun boy." Mexican Sumo finally got tired of laughing. "There's a truck outside waiting to take you away. Got any last words? Like, we know you're a PI. Investigating us. So I guess that's all we have to know." He hit me again.

I woke up in the back of a truck going somewhere in the dark. There was a rifle against my head and a blurry young man with an itchy finger glaring down.

"Are they paying you for this?" I managed to say. "Or holding you hostage?"

He didn't answer. No need.

"Is this your first kill?"

Nothing.

"I can help you, you know. Surely you have a family somewhere worried about you. I can help you get home."

He relaxed a little, allowing me to grab the gun and with the butt end, push him through the open tailgate. We weren't moving fast enough to hurt him, I figured, before jumping out myself.

Later, Willy proceeded to deliver a lecture on carelessness in his library.

"I can't believe you hitchhiked!"

"Only as far as a service station. My car was gone so I didn't have a choice. The main road is well traveled so luckily I was able to hitch a ride. An old lady picked me up in a half-ton. She said I reminded her of her son who was killed in Afghanistan. I think she wanted to adopt me."

"She would have changed her mind given time."

"Thanks bud."

"What about the information in the car?"

"All falsified. Peter makes sure I never travel as myself. Likely because he doesn't want me leading criminals back to him. You know the routine. False passport, credit cards, driver's license etcetera. And of course, I'm staying at a hotel in LA so I won't lead anyone here."

"Still, the Mexican Sumo wrestler was right. You are stupid, Hampton. You know these people are dangerous still you chose to go it alone. I could have helped."

"You had to collect Ching from LAX. How did that go by the way?"

"You'll have to pour us a double before getting the answer to that."

I walked to the bar. "I'm worried about you, bud. You may be developing a drinking problem. It's about time."

He giggled. "I have a lot to drink about. Three bodies in my well. Two people missing. My best friend's girl in jail."

"She's not my girl."

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?"

"New subject. What about Ching? Did he see anything?"

"Sorry but Ching got confused. He somehow took a shuttle to International and ended up in arrivals from Italy. So, unless there were signs saying Ciao or Addio or Pasta he got skunked."

"He's an idiot."

"No kidding. Tomorrow we're sending Evelyn. Was there any word from the mouse hole?"

"Babies. Lots of babies."

"Anything on Jack?"

"Yes. I need you to do something for me. Mini said she has to stay ahead of Jack. Reynolds has been in Jack's computer. You have too. Also Richard's. Has Reynolds been in Richard's?"

"He will be now he knows Richard is alive. Easy peasy because he worked for him. You're right. I have to keep on top of that."

I was just dozing off when the text from Jackie came in. They were naming the baby mice alphabetically, the first one Albert, after Albert Noe, the poor murdered stockbroker. (Amster was its mother, remember, so I shouldn't feel hurt.) Next was Billy, after Billy. C was called CC because they didn't know anyone with a C name. D was Donald after my doorman and they hadn't gotten any further.

I texted back. How could they tell the babies apart? Didn't baby mice all look alike?

Jackie hadn't figured that out yet but he did have news. Mini had been there. Someone was now a captive, she told Reynolds, and he was not to go digging around, stirring things up. She didn't want fingers pointing back to her.

# Chapter Fifteen

Something was sticking in my craw. Ok. A lot was sticking in my craw. The well, for instance. The gardeners knew about it, certainly, but who else? Who else would come to take Veronica and Bartolo away to snatch their earlobes then bring their corpses back? What did Richard know because he knew something. Richard always did. Something stunk.

In the kitchen the following morning Willy said,

"The package arrived overnight. Your new identity from Peter. And the Honda rental will be ready by the time you get there by Uber. Just don't mention my name."

"Honda? Thanks. And I will mention your name, cheapskate. Jack at least owes me a Jag." I opened the package. "What? I am now Jimmy Two Three?"

"Well, Jimmy One Two got killed. Because he was stupid."

"That's bullshit."

"Lighten up. Peter has to have some fun too. He's back in Vancouver waiting for you to solve a crime. And protecting your girlfriend in jail. He's even sneaking in tofu."

Well, she did like tofu. "Since you happen to know so much where is slimy Marco? He's supposed to be springing her from jail."

"Marco's busy. He's been shagging Judge Trudy for the past two days and she hasn't let him up for air."

"God! What is this? The fucking Twilight Zone? I can't take it anymore."

He shook his shiny hair. "What do you think it's like for me watching you spin your wheels? You're supposed to be a detective."

I wanted to shoot that damn canary again and blame him. He was saved only by his uncanny ability to hack into anyone's life and turn it upside down. "I'll do the airport run today."

He smiled. "I'd hug you but you're all bruised. Bruises make me sick."

At the rental agency I was in the process of upgrading to a vintage E-type Jag, in my mind, when I got the call from Peter. Jillian was out of jail.

"That must have been rough on Marco," I said, and we both giggled. Maybe Judge Trudy was old but she was in relatively good shape. "Although I hear vintage is in again."

Peter hooted. "You heard wrong. In fact, I heard that wine connoisseurs are smashing last week's bottles of Beaujolais nouveau for lacking a virgin quality."

Stuff went whirling through my head. New wine, old wine, stupidity. I headed for the airport. On route I pit-stopped at the task force office to tell long-face of my findings. It would have to be a night raid, I told her, after the workers had returned to their hovels. And it needed to be fast, before they had time to relocate. I made a mental note to return to Willy's house before the gardeners left for the day.

It was a long morning at LAX watching people smiling and hugging and looking far too happy to be anywhere near me. In fact, I'd out-crushed Candy Crush by noon and was regretting my decision to leave Evelyn to the laundry when, from the corner of my eye, I saw her. She looked exactly as Michelle had described: possibly Filipino, dark hair parted in the middle and pulled back into a bun, a floral dress and a cardboard sign with a name. _Andy._ Videoing on my cell I moved closer as a young, dark-haired boy - possibly sixteen - approached and pointed to the baggage sign. Instead she steered him towards the exit and I followed behind. He balked. He wanted his luggage but with a firm grip on his arm she was rapidly talking him out of it. Outside she steered Andy to an old brown van from which a grubby man jumped out and pushed him into the back seat. The woman crawled into the front.

Still videoing I hailed a cab and followed, although a few vehicles managed to come between. I made it worth the cabby's while to catch up. In due time we left the 405, passed Irvine, and field upon field of fruit and vegetables, and at last came to a big old barn where the van turned in. I instructed the cabby to continue on, turn around, and drive slowly past the barn again, this time seeing nothing as the van had obviously parked at the back. I returned to LAX to collect my car, sped home, borrowed a pistol from Willy, and went outside to find the Mexican boys. Luckily, they were in their usual places working the side garden.

An argument ensued, during which time the boys told me to get lost in broken English. I understood. They were scared of their bosses and also scared of me. I texted Willy who came to my rescue speaking Spanish, one of his seven languages. Even so, it took Willy a while to convince them to come inside and hide until the truck left. And the kicker? A promised swim in the pool. He also promised safety, since his new Chinese guards weren't about to let anyone back on the property. After a long swim the boys were collected by Long-face from the task force, accompanied by a kindly-looking couple who would take the boys into their home until they could be returned to their families in Mexico. A raid on their camp was performed later that night. One down.

Naturally, Willy wouldn't let me go to the barn alone. It wasn't about me, he said, it was about Tommy and any chance he might be there. So, with darkness falling the two of us headed out armed with guns and guts and prepared to do whatever it took.

Had I not seen it in daylight I wouldn't have known the barn was there, partially hidden in the trees, because not a single light shone from the structure. We drove past, parked on the road, and walked back using our cell flashlights. The familiar brown van was parked out back, along with two trucks for transporting, possibly people. The big back door was locked.

"There aren't any windows," said the Rhodes scholar. "And we can't shoot our way in for fear of hurting the innocent. So?"

I shone my light on the small loft door above. "So maybe we go in from the top."

"How do we do that?"

"With that ladder lying in the weeds."

"I'm afraid of heights."

"So stay out here. I'll flush the culprits out and you blast them."

"Right. I'm coming with you. But what if that door is locked?"

"I have a silencer, remember. It won't be loud from up there."

He was following behind me whining. "Why didn't you just report these people?"

"Because trafficking is hard to prove. The cops just don't start arresting because someone suspects something. And the victims don't squeal because the ones that do often don't end up well." I was half-giggling because my brilliant friend was afraid of heights and behaving like a child. Fortunately, the door was externally locked with a padlock, a piece of cake. Duck soup. I turned to caution Willy. "There could be people sleeping up here. We need to be quiet."

"Just let me in. And I'm not coming down this way."

And there were people sleeping in the loft. Several in their clothes with no covers on the straw. We tiptoed to an inside ladder leading to the main floor. "Get ready, bud. This won't be a picnic."

And it wasn't. We'd been heard and people below were preparing for confrontation. Fortunately, my best bud was better with a gun than a ladder and the shootout didn't last long. Three down - two men, one woman. When the smoke cleared, to be colloquial, Willy started to shout in Spanish and people trickled forward, hands in the air. They came from everywhere, like rats from a granary, and weren't about to argue with a pair of pistols. We moved outside where Willy told them they'd be taken to a safe place and eventually reunited with their families. Earlier in the day Long-face from the task force had agreed to my terms. Willy and I would be long gone before the law arrived and only after the victims had been transported to safety. As the vans pulled in the field workers reluctantly trudged forward. All except one.

His face was black, his clothes dirty. But he had an incredibly big smile on his face as he threw his arms around my shoulders. "I knew you'd come for me, Charlie! I knew you and Willy would come. I always knew you would."

That night Willy and I sipped our whisky in deck chairs while Tommy lapped the pool. Wasn't life great? We thought so.

"I thought he was never going to get out of that shower," Willy said. "He must have been in there an hour."

"He hasn't had a shower since he left home, he said. He was pretty dirty."

Julia was calling again. "I can't thank you guys enough! You gorgeous guys! You are my heroes. I owe you everything."

I smiled. "I suppose sex is out of the question?"

"Don't be cheeky. Since I helped raise you that would be incestuous."

"Not for me," Willy chimed. "I've always wanted you too."

"You little brat! Have you been drinking again?"

"It's Charlie's fault. He's turned me into a drunk."

"Well, I'm joining you with a whisky, boys. We have everything to celebrate tonight. And I'm catching the first flight out tomorrow to bring my Tommy home."

Her Tommy was waving from the pool. Life was good.

Good but not great. Captive Jack was out there somewhere, not to mention the matter of three soggy bodies in a well. According to Willy, Kenny hadn't gone anywhere since his initial dunking so I had more than one equation to solve.

With Tommy in tow I met Julia at LAX the following morning and hugged them both goodbye.

"Just take his computer away."

"He's nineteen. Smart enough not to make the same mistake twice."

Red crept into Tommy's cheeks. "I just wanted to meet my dad."

I ruffled his hair. "And you will. I promise. Now is not the time. Safe home." I turned before a tear could spring from my eyelid and call me a sissy. Yes, I wanted to go home too. But instead I headed for _Orange County Central Men's Jail_. Funny how things change when the bad amigo is behind bars. Mexican Sumo lamely snarled at me from his chair on the other side of the glass.

"You have something belonging to me," I stated. "Two Gloc 9s to be exact."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And I'll be collecting them from evidence when they fry your fucking ass."

"You're funny. Especially with that Canadian accent. No one will take you seriously."

"Well, Mexicana. The feds are taking your accent seriously, aren't they? Got any Spanish fly? You'll need it here since you won't have young boys to fuck."

He turned all red.

"It's over. They're free. And now you have a chance to lighten your sentence. You have a chance to tell the truth about your boss."

He squinted at me. "I am the boss."

"No you're not. You're a flunky. A bad one at that."

"My people will take you out. They'll find you in Whitehorse."

I smiled. "Really? They'd better look in Moose Jaw first. I have a phony passport from there too."

"You think you're so damn smart Canuck."

"Possibly because I am. If you look closely you'll see one of us behind bars and it isn't me." I stood up. "Talk to your lawyer. You can rot in here or not rot in here. Your choice."

Willy called me in the car. "Something's going on with Richard. There's tons of activity on his email in code. Something big."

"You know code. What's up?"

"That's the problem. Code changes. I don't know the new code."

"But you can figure it out."

"Not instantly. It would take a while and Jack doesn't have a while."

We both knew someone who could crack that code in an instant, a professional code cracker. "What about Samuel?"

"I left Fat Asian a message and I'm waiting for him to call back. I also texted him three urgent messages. Fat Asian is slow getting back. Always has been."

"Did you call him Fat Asian?" I knew Chinatown Fat Asian from another movie and he didn't like the nickname. "He prefers Samuel."

"Who cares? Fat Asian is a bully. He pushes little kids around and calls them stupid. They're scared of him."

I pictured Samuel rising from a genie bottle, puffy as a feather pillow in a yellow blouse with parrots on the sleeves above purple pants. "Capitulate. Suck up. We need to crack the code."

"I'm not sucking up. Samuel thinks just because he got a Master's degree from UBC at age twelve, barely out of the crib, he's superior to me. But he isn't. I got mine at age thirteen. I mean, who brags about things like that?"

"You do. But don't worry about it. I'll call Samuel myself. So, send me what he needs to crack and I'll forward it to him. Jeez you guys! Have you no idea what it's like to be normal?"

Willy didn't. "I drink now if that helps."

It didn't. Samuel cracked the code in half an hour.

So, Richard was up to his old tricks. Priceless paintings and artifacts dating back to the 1600 Xia Dynasty BC. Priceless. Only Richard could afford such treasures and Richard didn't want them. No Richard wanted the game. His market? California collectors, for sure. Had Jack stuck his nose in where it didn't belong? Maybe. I arrived at Richard's fortress in a bad mood.

"Shut your fucking mouth," I said to Shorty at the door before he could say a thing. "Or I'll fucking shut it for you."

Shorty looked confused. "Fuck? Ok. Fuck?"

I pushed passed him. "Look it up in Webster's. It looks a lot like you."

He followed me up the stairs saying fuck.

Richard was not amused. No, Richard was much too busy covering his own ass to attend to others. I walked to the library bar and poured myself a drink. "Thanks," I said to no one. I plunked down in a chair. "I especially want to thank all the scumbags on the planet for today. You see, because of pond scum, and higher forms of protozoa and ameba, the other person in this room today looks good. Fungus, I'm thinking, although that may be a huge compliment." I thought about throwing up on the carpet just for fun.

Drink in hand, Richard calmly took the matching chair. "Well, you are dramatic, Charlie. It's what everyone likes about you."

"I'm flattered. Mainly because I can't think of a single soul that actually likes me. Other than you."

He tried not to laugh. "Can we get past the 'we don't like each other' stage?"

"Never." I drained my glass and walked back to the bar. "In fact, I think we should have a contest, starting with you giving me one good reason why I should like you."

He narrowed his falcon-like eyes. "I'm trying. Really I am."

"And?"

"Sorry, but I can't."

"Likewise. Where's Jack?"

"If I knew that do you think I wouldn't rescue him?"

"Truthfully? I think you might try. Your guys are good with knives."

"But?"

"Guns are better from a distance."

"And you want to leave here today?"

I stood up. "I do. And I will. And think about this, Richard. You used to be the biggest kingpin on the planet. No one greater. No one more feared. And yes. You and I will never be friends. However, I am free to live my life as I see fit. You are a man in hiding, a man that checked out. And yes you are dead. In more ways than one." With that I hurried down the stairs watching my back.

Due to mutual exhaustion, Willy and I cancelled our nightly nightcap and dragged our sorry asses up the stairs to bed. It didn't help that I kept dreaming about bodies bobbing in a well and a premonition of more to come. At one point it overflowed, with bloated bodies tumbling over the edge and one of them got up and chased me with a knife.

I awoke to Willy pounding on my bedroom door. "I'm going to pick up the boys. Richard is gone. Someone took him in the middle of the night."

Déjà vu. We'd been through this before hadn't we? Shades of Beijing, I figured

# Chapter Sixteen

Alright. Try to figure out Richard's goons. Pushing sixty, King, Freddie and Shorty were known killers yet readily packed their bags to stay with Willy - a man they considered a boy. I was a boy too in their eyes.

Willy cautioned me over our morning coffee. "They don't like you so don't give them an excuse to knife you. I don't like blood."

"What are they doing here?"

"Vacationing. Like you. They like the pool."

"Fuck you. I haven't even seen the pool."

"Don't lie. I saw you eyeing it up. Just waiting for your chance."

"What? After everyone dies and I get to relax?"

"You're a poor sport, Hampton. Now get out of here and find Jack. And Richard. And the killers of Bartolo, Veronica and Kenny. And would you mind stopping for groceries on your way home?"

"I'm going to kill you. And it won't be pretty."

"It never is."

Jillian reached me in the car. "Why haven't you found Jack?"

"I didn't know I had to. I thought I came on vacation."

"You're not funny. Don't you know how worried I am?"

"And I'm not?"

"You've had plenty of time to find him."

"Yes, well. I've been travelling around California looking in parks but I haven't seen him yet."

"You're so not funny."

"I'm working on it, Jillian. Give me a break. How's the new bracelet? Can you wear it in the shower?" I'd always been curious about electronic tagging and water.

"As I said you're not funny."

"How's Tommy?"

"Are you asking for a thank you? Because that's what it sounds like to me."

"I don't need a thank you, thank you. You see? I can thank myself."

She hung up.

I sat in Long-face's office staring at the Cuckoo clock while she scrolled through her files. "There are several yard services owned by the same numbered company."

"I knew that, actually. I have a private researcher. I just thought you might have information on the actual owner or owners."

She shook her head. "Nothing. Sorry. But I did want to see you today. To personally thank you for all your hard work. You've made me look good. I'm getting a promotion."

"It was my pleasure. Do I get a cut?"

She offered a skinny smile. "Sorry. I do have a favor to ask however. Would you mind slowing down? I'm exhausted."

I left her office to the rare sound of a Cuckoo bird that only came out for me. Was there a hidden message there?

When I arrived back at Willy's house his latest guests were lounging in bathing trunks by the pool. It was ugly. "They have to put clothes on before I question them or I'll throw up. At least a bathrobe."

Willy produced three robes from the cabana and delivered them. He spoke in Chinese and all three howled. But they put on the robes.

"What did you say?"

"Not much. I just told them you had lice and they should cover up if they didn't want to catch it."

"Thanks a lot."

"They don't know anything, Charlie. I already talked to them. Richard retired at eleven and was gone before seven when King delivered his morning supplements and juice. No one saw him leave."

"Where were the boys?"

"In their bedrooms on the main floor. Richard's bedroom is on the second floor at the back of the house."

"Haven't we been through this before?"

"This is different. Last time Richard left on his own volition. This time he didn't take a thing. Not even his toothbrush."

"Any sign of a struggle?"

"None. He likely left with a gun to his head."

"How would they get past the outside guards?"

"Back door. They'd have to go through the bushes but it's possible."

"What about the alarm?"

"Disabled."

"Could be an inside job. Someone disabled the alarm. Shit. I don't need this right now."

"Well, don't accuse the boys. You know how loyal they are. And I don't need them going after you. They're not staying over, you know. They want to go home in case Richard comes back. And maybe there'll be some contact, like a ransom. They've settled down now so I'll drive them home this afternoon. Do you still need to question them?"

Shorty gave me the finger.

"Not today. But I'll need to question the outside guards. I smell a rat."

King was seated close enough to overhear and he spat. He then hissed to the others.

Willy smiled. "He's saying that you're calling them rats. They're saying that you are the rat and that they've never liked you."

All three gave me the sour face and the finger.

After arranging to meet Willy at Richard's fortress at four I headed out with several thoughts in mind. Richard was dead most people thought, most being the operative word. Had Willy made a mistake in letting Mini know the truth? Not really. Reynolds would have been in his computer and bank accounts, especially the one in Beijing he regularly stole from. Willy said that Reynolds wasn't at all surprised to learn the truth. Who else knew the truth? Why did I think we'd all gone back in time? I was really tired of living in the Twilight Zone.

Back at the jail they brought out Mexican Sumo, one degree uglier than the day before with whiskers sprouting on his face faster than fungus. He sneered.

"What do you want Canuck? No friends?"

"I have a friend. A few, in fact, that I've rescued from slavery. Want to talk about it?"

He gave me the dog lips. "What's in it for me?"

"A lot. Did you speak to your lawyer?"

"I don't have a lawyer. Some public defender tried to talk to me but I sent him away. Told him to come back when he reached puberty."

Well, the guy actually had a sense of humor. Who knew? "I could get you a real lawyer. A grown up. What would you say to that?"

He screwed up his face. "What's in it for you? Haven't you done enough good? Why aren't you going home?"

"I'll go home. Rest assured. But my work isn't finished here yet. There's more to do. And a name or two would help."

"You get me that lawyer and we'll talk. In the meantime you may want to check out the evening truck at seven. The driver of the pickup may be of interest to you."

At four o'clock I drove past the guards at Richard's fortress without acknowledgement on either side. I didn't like them, they didn't like me. The dogs didn't even bother to bark. No, they just sat down and yawned. Shorty's stocky body was blocking the doorway.

"Lice, Cha'lee. Ha ha."

I smiled. "You're getting uglier every day, Shorty. Soon you can join the circus as not only the ugliest little prick on the planet but the fattest too."

He couldn't figure me out. "Skunk."

Willy appeared behind him. "You two would be here all day name-calling if I let you." He moved Shorty out of the way with a few soft words.

Shorty convulsed.

"Ok. What did you tell him?"

"Not this time, bud. If we're going to stay friends I can't say."

I followed behind him up the stairs to the library where two tall Cokes sat on a leather tray. On the table across from us a dozen tumblers with booze to the brim awaited. I was confused.

"I don't want you drinking and driving, Charlie. Someone has to look after you."

I walked to the bar and poured myself a double. "And the glasses? Are we having a party?"

"In a sense. There's two glasses each for the guards, one to stop the jitters, the other to enjoy. They're scared. They've heard bad things about you."

"I'll bet. And I bet they heard them from you."

He grinned. "Topped up by King, Freddie and Shorty. You know how those guys love you."

I did.

"They'll be coming in one at a time and I'll translate. A couple of them speak English but they say it's discrimination if they have to use it. They want a translator like the rest."

"We wouldn't want to discriminate."

A good-looking young Asian man appeared in the doorway.

"Come in, Kim. This is Charlie. He's poured you a couple of drinks." He winked at me.

Kim sat down and immediately knocked back three. He was decidedly nervous.

"Ask him what he saw last night," I started.

Willy did and Kim shrugged.

"He didn't see anything."

"How do you know that? He didn't say a word."

"That's what a shrug means in Chinese."

"You're an ass."

After knocking back a fourth drink, Kim finally said something.

"What did he say?"

Willy giggled. "He wants to know if your hair is real."

It didn't get any easier as the day progressed. No one had seen anything and Willy refilled the drink tray five times. They were thirsty devils I gave them that. In the end, Willy walked me down to the front door.

"I believe them, Charlie. I don't think any of them saw anything."

"And the alarm?"

"The boys don't always set it. Sometimes they forget."

"And no forced entry?"

"Have you seen the lock on that door? I could have opened it with a credit card."

I drove away shaking my head. But Mexican Sumo was right about the work truck arriving at the warehouse at seven and shortly thereafter a silver Silverado pulled in behind. A well-dressed, dark-haired man left the pickup to deliver a package to the driver of a third truck, the one arriving to collect the workers. Good planning left me free to follow the Silverado while an unmarked vehicle in an ally would perform the rest. I fished a mickey of whisky from my glovebox. Was I wrong to be so tired?

I headed towards the ocean and to a posh housing development, not unlike Willy's on a cliff. It was a gated community which didn't much matter since I wasn't about to drive in. No guards. No dogs. No entry to the back yard so I took the easy way through an open window in the house. In the back yard two men and a woman were enjoying an evening drink on floral chairs at a lovely glass-topped table by the pool. I listened at the window.

"Well, I guess we've had a good run," said the driver of the truck. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt of many flowers. "We're losing our workers at a rapid pace. Someone obviously knows something. Maybe it's time to get out."

"Or step up our recruitment program," the balding man with the Spanish accent said. "There's plenty more where they came from."

The woman shook her head. "Carlos is right. It's time to get out. We've done well. We have everything we need. They're getting too close and we could be named. It's time to put an end to it all."

They clinked to the future while I walked out the front door. Future indeed. I hoped they liked cold jail cells and various same-sex partners.

That night Willy and I had a reason to celebrate and even ordered in from an elaborate restaurant nearby. We sat at the poolside table sipping champagne. Willy's hair was particularly shiny.

"And Kim thought my hair wasn't real. You're the guy with the shiny mop. It could be plastic."

Willy shook it. "Does plastic move like this. And does it have an adorable face?"

We clinked. "Plastic only wishes. Did you talk to Eva today?"

"You know I did. We FaceTime every day. She started classes at _Simon Frazer_."

"I see. Wants to keep up with the genius, no doubt."

"Right. I'm too old for her and you know it so give it up."

"She doesn't think so. I saw her drooling."

"She's nineteen years old. What does she know?"

"More than us likely, given her life experience. She's had it rough."

"Na, Hampton. She's just too young. My interest is parental not predatory, given her parents in my well and all. She's more Tommy's speed I think. They've become friends." His eyes twinkled. "I'll take Jillian if you don't want her."

"Why don't you do that, buddy. Save me a lot of grief."

"Who are you kidding? You live on grief. You thrive on it. If grief isn't happening you're bored."

We clinked. I was going to get over that woman one of these days.

I learned the next day that Carlos and company in the house on the cliff had been arrested and that Mexican Sumo, due to the lawyer I provided, was going to turn state's evidence. I met with the woman that afternoon and, are you kidding me? Lawyers aren't supposed to look like that. I mean, she was smoking hot, a Cindy Crawford type, tall, dark and with a razor-sharp mind. No wonder her firm represented Willy on the corporate side of things if they all looked like her. She made me want to break the law.

In a nutshell, she said we'd brought down a dangerous organization, one that enslaved children, women and men in all capacities – prostitution, domestic work, agriculture, construction etc. And as expected, they electronically tagged their workers so they could track and bring back escapees, or kill them if necessary. Veronica and Bartolo had been killed for desertion, not uncommon in this particular organization. No good news but at least we could now have their bodies legally removed from the well. Willy and I decided to send Kenny along for the ride, telling authorities he must have fallen in while trespassing. Badly decomposed, he was an unlikely autopsy subject.

That night we drank to an empty well. And now Willy felt like crying? "It's pretty sad."

"Damn right. Who shot Kenny do you think."

"I can't think. I'm too sad. What do you think?"

"I think Kip. He was with him on the grounds when he got killed."

"Yeah? What if Kip went behind a tree to take a piss and someone sneaked up on his brother?"

"It's possible. You have three acres here. What did the cameras say?"

"We don't have cameras back there in the bush and you know it. What for? To watch squirrels fornicating? I'm not that desperate."

I picked up my cell. "I said I'd call your cousins at nine. Sometimes they're passed out from gluttony by that time but at least they don't drink."

"What are you saying? That I got the bad Chan gene and I'm a drunk?"

"Shut up. For someone sad tonight your pretty talkative."

Jackie still had a mouthful of dumplings.

"You're not finished yet, Jackie? What time did you start dinner?"

"Late tonight. They didn't come till five."

"Jackie! Do you mean to tell me you've been eating for four straight hours?"

"I had a nap."

"No he didn't!" Billy hollered. "And he ate all the fish."

"Jackie? Did you eat all the shrimp?"

"Billy ate it all last night so I just paid him back. You're cheap, Amster. We need more fish."

"Anything new with Reynolds?"

"Yes! The black cats. Mini says the black cats have been busy in California."

I suspected as much. Who else besides Mini's A-Team could slink undetected into Richard's house and nab him? Willy's truce hadn't lasted long.

I turned to my best bud. "Ok. We're wrapping it up. We're going home."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that. We're out of here."

"I guess I don't have to ask why."

"You don't. Jack and Richard aren't here."

He nodded. "I thought that. I just didn't want to go back to the rain. What about the goons?"

"Take them in Richard's private plane. The pilot hasn't been killed, has he?"

"Not yet. What about the guards?"

"Take them too. You'll need them at his beach house. You know, that little shack on the ocean in West Vancouver. Seventeen thousand square feet or so."

He bit his lip. "I don't know what to do with this place."

"Sell it. You bought it for 2.5 and it's now worth almost 11. That kind of profit is nothing to sneeze at."

He brightened. "I'll list it tomorrow. I just can't come back to that goddamn well."

# Chapter Seventeen

Home. I stopped by 33 Terrace place where Shoeshine met me at the door. "Don't be arguing with David, Charlie. You know he isn't real."

The statue of David in the foyer alcove flexed his muscle. "Oh yeah? He's challenging me to a duel. And one day I'm going to smash his plaster face."

Shoeshine giggled. "Don't hurt your hand, Charlie. You know how you hate pain." He shoved me into the living room. "There's a little welcome party going on. I thought it was a bad idea but Tony invited everyone. He said it would cheer you up. You know, with Jack kidnapped and all."

The living room was packed as solid as a can of tuna and even smelled a bit fishy to me. Tony wanted something. The lovely Julia came to butter me up. "Darling! You're hardly bruised at all. The swelling has gone down."

Peter pulled up behind her. "I disagree. Charlie only looks good with a broken nose. He looks like a sissy now."

There was the standard receiving line of thugs which I respectfully had to pass through. First came Hughie the Hopeful, who'd overdosed on Viagra, followed by Bob Along, his little brother who worked from home, a bit of a stretch for a forklift operator. Next came Skid the Mark, the most treacherous truck driver in the lower Mainland, and Billy the Bookie with his three buxom blonds. Etcetera. Etcetera. Etcetera. I headed for the bar.

"Make mine big."

I turned to face a daughter who had seemingly grown into her dad. She threw back her long blond curls. "You know I hate it when you skimp."

"Whisky? I mean, you hate whisky. You hate the smell of it."

Her eyes twinkled. "I used to. But I've been practicing up. So pour me a big one, Hamster."

Hamster? Only one person in the world dared to call me Hamster. Amster maybe. I grabbed her in a big, shameful hug.

She whispered in my ear. "I know you'll find him, Hampton. I know you'll bring him home." With that she downed her double and exited the room.

'Don't go seducing the boss's daughter," a creaky voice behind me said. "He gets mad when you do that." Tony Chan was leaning on his cane. "And for that matter so do I. I'm too old to think about sex. It's over for me. How do you think my hair got this grey?"

I smiled. "I'd like to think it got grey exactly how you wanted it to. Everyone has a story."

"You look terrible, Charlie. Didn't Willy feed you at all? Ok. I know my nephew is Chinese and cheap. But he could have bought lettuce. And Botox. You've aged. And a little advice? Don't turn around fast or your pants might fall off."

God! Home. I left for my West End condo tired enough to sleep for a week. If only.

Great boss that I am I gave the Chan brothers the next day off and went spying on the Woo suite myself. Something was about to break and the deal was, if it broke in Chinese, the boys would hurry back to translate the tape. They wouldn't be farther away than the nearest restaurant, I figured, and since the card I gave them had a limit, they might even be back by noon. It didn't take long for Albert to scurry across the floor. Or was it Billy? CC? Or Donald, after my doorman, who was actually glad to have me home.

"Hi Reynolds," I said to the computer-hacking idiot/savant on the monitor. He was bouncing back and forth between computers stealing things. I also said hello to the mural of Hong Kong at night on the living room wall that must have cost a fortune; hello to the elaborate red sofas with cabriole legs; and to the black lacquer tables with ribbons of flowers cascading down. How come Reynolds had such a posh place in this ratty building and no mice? I asked myself. Myself answered. Reynolds likely ate his mice because _the Wrap_ was not a nice guy. He may even have eaten them raw.

What? Only two guards in the hallway of the penthouse suite? Mini Chin must be feeling safe, which wasn't good news to me. Even worse was watching Mini arriving and clicking her little red heels to the living room bar at ten a.m. One for the chin? Mini had three chins and my guess was she'd be guzzling a scotch for each one.

Reynolds quickly closed out an account he'd been working on. "Good morning," he chirped. He removed his little wire-rimmed glasses and rubbed the welts.

"Good morning who?" she barked.

"Good morning Mama Mia."

"You never fail to disappoint me, Reynolds. You never fail to make me cranky." She clicked her way back to the bar."

There was a reason Reynolds didn't drink. No, he just sat there hanging his head.

"You're tracking the shipment?" she demanded.

"Yes, Mama Mia. I'm tacking it. It's due to arrive at the Port in four and a half days."

"Very well. When it's been safely distributed and the money is in the bank we'll deal with the competition." Mini talked in riddles because she didn't trust the guards. Reynolds knew her every activity, however, from hacking all of her devices. "There's no hurry because the competition can't hurt us right now. But don't fuck up this time. You can be replaced, you know."

Really? By whom? Who else would take such abuse and allow their mother to drain their bar too? And more importantly, his type of genius couldn't be bought. Well, it could actually. Richard had bought it but couldn't keep it because eventually a genius will strike out on his/her own. I wondered how many times Reynolds had thought of offing Mini who was still wrongly blaming him for his brother's untimely death.

Trusting the taping to do the job for the rest of the day I headed across _The Lions Gate Bridge_ and along _Marine Drive_ out of the city. I turned into a long, winding driveway through the evergreen trees and towards the ocean below, a tough drive for me as my memories of that particular spot weren't wonderful. I'd once been held captive there by Richard's goons and, along with Jackie Chan, waited to die. Obviously, we didn't.

But Willy had arrived back in Vancouver the previous evening and, entourage in tow, set up camp at the beach house. Familiar guards greeted me with guns as new dogs snarled and growled. I accepted that. I was a bad guy again and after a short meeting with Willy I headed back to the city, across _Burrard Bridge_ to _Kitsilano_ , to the other part of the deal.

Flashback:

April Angelotti was drop-dead gorgeous. She was a tall, slender woman with round brown eyes and straight strawberry blond hair that went swishing down her back like a waterfall. She opened the door wearing legs. A lot of legs. The indigo dress above them barely covered her pubes.

"Princess Adrianna. How lovely to see you!"

"Knock it off, Charlie. You want something."

I had wanted something. And I wasn't above wanting something again. Like a repeat performance at _The Pan Pacific Hotel,_ for instance _._ She'd killed it last time.

I watched her grand entrance on the evening news. I watched the big Phantom 1V pull up in front of the Pan Pacific Hotel and an old Asian chauffeur hop out to throw open the back door with gusto. The passenger stepped into a media frenzy. No wonder. Princess Adrianna was drop-dead gorgeous draped in sable and with a fancy turban wrapped around her head. With one great swirl of her cape she hurried into the hotel.

So, back to the present and Willy Chan paying a visit to his old buddy, his school friend, Reynolds Woo. Remember that their mothers had played Mahjong together on Saturday nights for over thirty years. Also, the boys had worked together on various enterprises, none of them legal. I arrived back at the spying suite just in time to watch Willy's entrance and to see the guards greeting him like a celebrity. They bowed. There was only one Willy Chan, a Chinatown boy who'd grown up without a dad and, due to his genius, made it big, legal and otherwise. He'd survived the Triad wars and was mythical in stature. He sauntered down the hall to Reynolds' office.

Now, Reynolds was not a man to show emotion because his mother had seen to that but he nevertheless jumped up to greet his old friend. They even hugged before heading for the living room bar. "Coke?" Reynolds asked politely.

"Please. With whisky."

Reynolds cocked his head. "Real whisky? You don't drink."

"I do now. It was rough in California."

"Oh! I see now." He poured two Cokes with whisky. "I'd drink if I had to put up with Charlie too. Was it bad?"

Knowing I was watching, Willy grimaced. "Terrible. Just awful. He's such an ass."

Reynolds nodded. "He stole from me remember. He sat in this very room and accepted an assignment he never planned to carry out. I even ordered sushi especially for him and you know how I hate everything Japanese."

"He returned the money."

"The damage was done. Nobody likes him, you know. Except you. I never understood your friendship."

"Oh, we were never friends. Kow Gong paid me to play with him when we were little because nobody else would. He's still paying me today."

Reynolds made a sour face. "You couldn't pay me enough to be friends with Charlie. He's a creep."

Willy choked on his booze. "He is kind of creepy. But aside from that do you know that Princess Adrianna is in town? She arrived today."

A silly smile crept over Reynolds face. "She is? We haven't kept in touch."

"You slept with her you little stud, didn't you?"

"Sort of. I can't remember much because we drank a lot of champagne."

Flashback to my spying suite at The Pan Pacific Hotel:

Billy laid the plates on the coffee table and topped up Reynolds' champagne.

I kicked Tony with my foot. "He's supposed to get him woozy not drunk. If he passes out we won't learn a damn thing."

"Why don't you run over there and fix things, Charlie? Since all you can do is whine."

Reynolds was on the downward slide. He was sinking lower into the sofa while trying to focus on April, who must have appeared huge. Still, he managed perfect control of his champagne flute and remembered where his mouth was not. He poured it on his suit. "A little more," he said drunkenly. "Tell the boy we'll have a little more."

"Would you like to see her again? I can arrange it."

He bit his thumbnail. "She's kind of scary."

"And beautiful. I mean, how many guys even get near the princess? And she likes you."

He eyed the ceiling. "She does. I suppose I could see her as long as Mama Mia doesn't find out. She doesn't like round eyes."

"Mama Mia will never know. She doesn't come here at night, does she?"

"Never. She can't drive when she's drunk."

"Done. I'll arrange a dinner for tomorrow night."

The following day passed quickly due to my renting a room across from The Royal Suite and setting up equipment in both places. Like last time, Maya prepared the dishes and arranged the flowers while Tony would watch the charade with me, mainly to boss me around. Billy and Jackie spent the day phoning to argue over who should get the job of server and who would be stuck spending the night chasing mice.

"Draw straws," I told them on speaker.

"We did that," Billy complained. "I won but then Jackie beat me up. And if I twy to leave here he'll beat me up again."

Jackie grinned. "I will. Billy got to act in the play last time so it's my turn."

Tony had arrived with the white dinner jacket ensemble. "Tell them both to come. We'll settle it here. And if Jackie loses he can deal with me."

They took the news well. "Are you coming to pick us up, Kow Gong?"

"Take a cab. I have better things to do."

We ended the call on a happy note.

Shortly after six, April Angelotti emerged from her bedroom as Princess Adriana and blew me a kiss. She was magnificent in a red silk dress that hugged her body in all the right places and with diamonds dripping from her ears - real diamonds, since she'd actually divorced a prince. In the background, Maya was setting a casual table in the dining room and putting stickers on the dishes she'd prepared earlier in the day, numbering them in order so as not to confuse the server. Candles were lit and flowers fit for the finest funeral abounded. The Chan boys arrived at our suite eager.

I stretched out on a sofa content to sip a whisky while Tony solved the problem. Or not.

He scrunched up his face. "Probably Billy should serve tonight. We know he fits the suit because he wore it last time."

Jackie's lip drooped. "We're the same size so I should get to act in the play. I am the oldest."

"But I already know how," Billy insisted. "Jackie doesn't."

Sure, I was thinking. Last time Billy ate all the food and drank a full bottle of champagne. He knew how to be a glutton.

Tony took out a wad of bills. "I'll pay you both tonight. I'll pay the server two hundred dollars. And I'll pay the one who stays here and watches with us double."

Nice going. Of course, both boys wanted to stay.

Jackie held out his hand. "I'm the oldest and I'm tiwred from working all day. I stay."

Billy elbowed him in the gut. "No you won't. You wanted to go so go."

The fight was on. Like two bear cubs they rolled on the floor slugging hard. I managed to separate the pair and gave both a good shake. "Any more bright ideas, Tony?"

He scratched his old grey head. "Not off hand. Why don't you give it a shot?"

I thought about it. "Well, I think they both should get four hundred no matter what."

Tony nodded. They smiled.

"So, this is what I think. You're both groomed and ready to go so I think you could each take a turn. One could start and half-way through the other could take over with a quick costume change here, across the hall. Would that be fun?"

Jackie held out his hand. "Show me the money. Then I'll think about it."

Billy wasn't keen. "I guess we both have to work then."

I was losing patience. "Yeah. You both have to work or I'll break your fucking necks."

Jackie gave Billy a shove. "He starts."

"Well, if you want all the food gone and two people blaming you when you arrive I suggest you start. While you do like your food you have better self-control than your brother. Usually."

Reluctantly, Jackie walked to the closet and pulled out the suit. "This won't be fun, Amster. I never get to have fun." Then he mumbled something about fucking mice.

At seven sharp Willy arrived lugging Reynolds who looked handsome in a crisp navy suit and with his hair slicked seriously back. Once inside the suite Willy handed over a bouquet of gardenias. "I understand these are her favorites. She'll be impressed. But you need to stop shaking. There's nothing to be scared of."

"Oh, yeah? I'm rarely around people let alone a princess. I'm terrified."

"The champagne will calm the nerves. Just go in there and start drinking. She was quite excited when I told her you wanted to see her. Apparently the two of you had a great time together.

He smiled the silly smile. "We did."

"Repeat performance then. Text me when you want to go home." With that he quickly left.

Jackie had arrived early and now dragged his feet to the front door. "You're a jackass, Weynolds."

Reynolds' mouth fell open. "That's not very nice. And what are you doing here? Don't you work for someone else? I could have sworn I saw you in California."

"You know we all wook awike."

"No. You were at Willy's house. I saw you there."

"That was my brover. The nice guy. I'm the bad one. So come in and see the pwincess. She dying _not_ to see you."

"Holy shit!" I yelled. "Jackie's going to ruin things."

Tony stretched out on the sofa. "You're the one that wanted him to start off. I wanted Billy."

Billy was busy cracking walnuts with his teeth. "Good for Jackie. If Weynolds goes home I don't have to work."

Being twice as tall as Reynolds, April remained on the sofa. "You dear man! How sweet of you to bring me my favorite flowers." She patted the sofa. "Come here this instant and say hello. John will put the flowers in a vase."

Jackie snatched the bouquet. "Not orchids," he mumbled. "Weynolds is a cheapskate. And don't call me John. Amster was an idiot to tell you that." He stocked from the room.

An uncorked bottle of Dom Perignon sat in a silver bucket on the coffee table, accompanied by two icy flutes. When Jackie returned with the appetizer April said, "Please pour the champagne, John."

Jackie put his hands on his hips. "If you call me that again I'll kick you in the shin."

Reynolds smiled. "His name is Jackie. He's my friend Willy's cousin. Willy likely hired him to test the food. To make sure it isn't poison."

Jackie smiled back. "To make sure it _is_ poison, you mean." He filled the flutes before dragging his shoes from the room.

Willy had joined us for the show. "Jeez! What's Jackie doing? He's going to ruin everything." With that in mind he grabbed three bottles of vodka from the mini bar and downed them straight.

April reached over and scratched Reynolds under the chin. "Dom Perignon makes everything better. We'll have a wonderful evening despite a cranky server. My guess would be that his shoes are too tight."

Jackie heard her and came stomping in with the soup course which he slapped down.

"Jackie," April said patiently. "We haven't touched the first course yet. Would you mind slowing down?"

He topped up the champagne. "They don't pay me enough to put up with this shit. If they paid me more I'd have better shoes." He stomped down the hall and out the door.

Tony Chan sat up. "Get ready, Billy. You're on next. And if you don't do any better than your brother you'll both be paying me."

Jackie came storming in. "I quit."

Tony nodded. "Give the clothes to Billy. And take a cab back to the mice. I don't want to see your face for a while."

After a quick clothing exchange Jackie stormed out mumbling, "The shoes were too fucking small. They hurt like hell."

Enter Billy with a better attitude. Why? Because he knew that after Reynolds got drunk he could finish the food and champagne. Maybe even before. Without a word he went to the coffee table and confiscated the champagne. "Be right back. This one is old now so I'll get a new one."

April protested. "But we haven't finished this one."

Billy quickly returned with a new bottle. "No need. There's more." He filled the flutes.

Tony laughed. "You know the routine from last time, Charlie. He'll polish that one off himself. And half of each entrée."

"You opened three bottles?"

"Four this time. And if he drinks two himself he'll have blown his four hundred bucks."

But the evening progressed smoothly after that, mostly due to gluttony in the kitchen and Billy staying out of the way. As April began to work her magic the old silly smile returned to Reynolds face and stayed there as he slipped lower on the sofa. And when finally Billy delivered the half-eaten dessert, Reynolds was toast.

"The boy has changed," he said drunkenly. "Did you notice that the boy has changed?"

"I didn't actually. But you may be right. What makes you think the boy has changed?"

"The other boy limped. The boy, Jackie, limped. This boy doesn't."

On cue, Billy turned and limped his way out of the room.

After April led Reynolds to her bedroom, Billy filled a container with food, tucked the last bottle of champagne under his arm, and came across the hall. Willy volunteered to drop him off as it was obvious Reynolds wasn't going to surface anytime soon. Tony and I settled in to wait.

I sipped on a whisky. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Because you're hiding something from me. I've sensed it all along."

"Such as?"

"You tell me."

"I can't right now."

"If it has to do with Jack you need to tell me now."

Just then April texted from the living room of the _Royal Suite_.

_You were right._ _The A-team has Richard._

Where?

I haven't got that far but it's here somewhere. They brought him back.

Why?

The artifacts. Mini has buyers lined up.

Will they kill him?

Likely. He murdered her son.

What about Jack?

They don't have Jack. Don't need him.

_Let me know as soon as you know where Richard is._

I stood up to refill my drink. "All right, Tony Chan. Where exactly is Jack?"

# Chapter Eighteen

Tony wasn't immediately forthcoming. No, Tony was full of excuses. It wasn't his fault that Jack started sticking his nose in Triad business because Jack wasn't even Chinese. And yes, there were other Asian gangs too, but the Chinese ruled. Well, maybe they didn't but they were the largest and most powerful. Take the 14K, for instance.

"Cut the crap, Tony. Where is Jack?"

He didn't exactly know. He could be almost anywhere because he liked to travel.

I was ready to strangle him. "Jack's in danger, isn't he?"

"He could be."

"And you are at fault."

"I could be."

"This has to do with the casinos?"

"It could."

I sat down beside him on the sofa. "Alright. Let's start from the beginning. According to Richard there is a very strong movement geared to having you removed from the high roller rooms both in the U.S. and Macau. And would I be right in saying that somehow your enemies have taken Jack to force your hand?"

He nodded.

"How did they know Jack was at Willy's?"

"The guards. I didn't choose them wisely. They also worked for my enemies."

"I thought as much. Kip and Kenny disabled the security, didn't they?"

"Yes."

"Who killed Kenny?"

"Bad guys. The same ones who took Jack. They came back to shut them up but Kip escaped."

"So, where are we in negotiations?"

"You're too smart for me, Charlie."

"It's not rocket science. They'll have no trouble killing him if you don't comply. Why haven't you told me about sooner? You didn't have to go through this alone."

"You were busy. And I can handle this myself."

"Really? It doesn't sound like you've been doing such a great job. I don't see Jack anywhere around."

His eyes frosted over. "I've started the process. As long as I'm working on it, Jack is safe."

"You've seen him?"

"On Skype. Twice."

I threw up my hands. "I can't believe you! If you'd told me earlier maybe I could have helped. Willy too."

He shook his head. "No you couldn't. You'd never find him. You guys would only get hurt and I don't want that on my shoulders. I've pulled out of the U.S. entirely so I'm doing O.K. on my own."

"You're doing fantastic," I said sarcastically. "Willy knows a lot about technology, you know. Had you told us about Skype at the time..."

"You were both in California."

"Well, we're here now. If there's a third time, and I'm sure there will be, we'll be there. And what about Macau? Are you willing to give that up?"

"No. I don't want to."

"You're eighty-four years old and possibly a billionaire. Jack is at risk. What more do you need?"

"Do you think they'll just hand him over?"

"No. I don't. Even if you pull out of Macau they're in too deep. Unless we rescue him we'll not see Jack again."

A tear rolled down his cheek. "My little Jackie Jones. The boy I raised. And this is all because of me. This is all my fault."

I reached over and rubbed his old shoulder. "Well, you're not alone anymore. Fresh troops have arrived and we'll deal with it."

The text came in from April shortly after Tony left the hotel. Richard was being held at Whistler Mountain in Mini's chalet. Buried in the trees it was the perfect place to stow a hostage.

The drive to Whistler Mountain is scenic all seasons of the year with mountains and ocean stretching before you all the way. In springtime the little green leaves bring with them a sense of promise; in summer the pledge of peace; and autumn is an amazing prelude to the winter finale. You see? I can be a poet when I'm on my way to possible torture and death. I'd skied Whistler as a boy because even Jack, a workaholic, took time off to enjoy the slopes and to bully his two favorite people, Jillian and me.

This time Willy was along for the ride and Willy didn't ski. No, as a child Willy was too busy learning the art of crookery to bother with trivial things. As we passed by Squamish he remarked,

"Last time I was here I dumped a body off the cliff. Jackie and I did."

"Well, at least you killed him first."

"He asked me to."

"That's what all killers say. _I didn't want to do it but he begged me too,"_ I said in a whiney voice.

"He did. And I don't want to talk about it so let's change the subject. You got your Gloc 9 ready?"

"What do you think?"

"I think we're lucky to have a SUV load of Richard's guards following behind. I'm really tired of killing."

"So, we'll let them do all the work?"

"What do you think?"

"I think we'll be leading the charge."

"You got that right. Why do you think Mini hasn't offed him yet? You know she's going to after she secures the artifacts."

"She will. But at this point he's being kept alive because he's tricky and likely knew he was being monitored. He knows that both Reynolds and you have hacked him before so there's a good chance he sent out misleading information to throw you off track. If the artifacts aren't where he says they are, she may have to torture him to get the truth."

Willy giggled. "Ironic, isn't it? The master of torture being tortured?"

"It's not funny. And I don't know why I'm even bothering to rescue the creep. And by the way? Thanks for agreeing with Reynolds on that matter. On my being a creep. You might have stuck up for me."

"And spoil the fun? You got to be kidding!"

I didn't need my GPS to find Mini's chalet since I had a walking talking one along with me. Willy had been a guest there during better days and knew the way well. It felt strange parking in a woodlot and being followed by armed guards walking down a lane. I wasn't used to such luxury. Nor was I used to two outside guards surrendering their arms without being told. But inside was a different story. It was a shootout. Three of them and only two of us because our guards were busy tying Mini's outside guards up. By the time they made it inside we'd rescued Richard from the basement after untying his ropes. We left his guards behind to deal with the survivors and, with Richard in tow, headed out.

Willy opened the front door for Richard. "Sir? I'm going to sit in back and keep an eye on you in case you try anything funny."

Richard almost smiled. "I never thought I'd see the day when I was glad to see Charlie Hampton," he said in his pleasant English accent. "But I suppose there's a first for everything."

"I love you too, Richard."

"Now, now," Willy coached from the back seat. "You guys need to bury the hatchet. Just not in each other's head."

I smiled. Richard smiled. Life was good.

After dropping Richard at his beach house – where his goons greeted him with tears of joy – I dropped Willy at his luxury West End penthouse.

"I can't believe I'm home, Hampton. I'm actually home. And I don't know what I'll do with no booze in the house."

"Dry out. We've got a lot ahead and none of it pretty."

"Are you drying out?"

"What do you think?"

"I think I'm going to sleep for a week."

"You're going to sleep for ten minutes. After that I'll meet you at Jack's house. We have to be with Tony when he gets the call. We'll be staying at Jack's from now on so pack your toothbrush."

"Jeez! Is there no end of you? I feel like a conjoined twin."

"Don't flatter yourself. You're not that good looking."

Possibly the best-looking guy on the planet slammed the car door shut.

Donald the Doorman met me at my West End condo building.

"I'm onto your tricks, Donald. You don't park my Beemer. No, you cruise the town picking up chicks. I can smell their perfume the next day."

Donald was built like a pencil. "That isn't perfume, Charlie. It's love juice."

"Well, I'll be down in ten minutes so no quickies. Understand?

His head was so pointy his cap fell off. He held out his hand.

"Put it on my tab."

"You haven't paid your tab in years."

"It's a tradeoff since you're using my car as a sex-mobile." I hurried to the elevator.

An hour later I pulled into Jack's driveway behind Willy's Mercedes Cabriolet. Nice. My twin traveled in style. Once inside the library, Willy hooked Tony's cell to the big screen TV before taking one comfy sofa while I took the other. We slept all afternoon. At five o'clock Tony disturbed the peace.

"Are you two killers going to sleep all day? The whisky in the bar is feeling neglected." He walked to the bar to pour. "Richard called. His guards said you only killed one guy. The other two are in surgery. How did you manage that? No scratches on either of you."

I sat up. "Simple. We ambushed them."

Willy shook his head awake. "They were stupid in thinking the outside guards were brave. And even stupider trying to shoot at two guys with guns drawn. It could have been so simple but they didn't leave it there. End of story."

Tony poured his Coke. "With or without? I know you've been with Charlie who's been teaching you bad things."

"I can quit anytime I want. Isn't that what they all say?"

Tony added the booze. "You've had a rough day so I'll overlook the problem. I'm having three fingers so I guess that says something about me. Jack always has five."

But before Tony could deliver the drinks his cell rang. "It's them. Stay out of sight you guys. You are not here."

It was Jack alone and he looked terrible sporting a grey beard above sagging jowls.

"You ok, Jackie?"

Jack nodded. "I've been better."

"Yeah. You've looked better. Are you getting much to eat?"

"A little. It's not the Ritz."

"I'm working on things. You're going to be ok."

"Sure. How are things there? Have you heard from Hamster and Willy?"

"No. They're busy. You know those guys. They're away somewhere. I think South America after drug cartels. Sticking their noses in."

"Well, they're wanting me to go now." The screen went blank.

Willy was on Tony's cell in a flash.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"Getting an IP address."

"That doesn't mean anything. It's likely phony."

"Doesn't matter. With an IP address I can get into their computer. That computer will tell me everything."

Tony looked at me. "How did this guy get so smart?"

"Genetics. He's like his uncle."

Tony grinned. "I can almost see your mind working, Charlie. What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that we didn't rescue Richard today for nothing. Richard has to come out of hiding if we're going to save Jack."

Back at the Woo suite things were frantic. Jackie called to tell me that Mini had shown up with a baseball bat and no, she hadn't stuck Reynolds, but had again attacked his karaoke machine, smashing it to bits. This was all Reynolds fault, she said. Two men with masks had shown up to rescue Richard and to kill Pea Nut, Lugs Nut's little brother. Their mother was a member of her Mahjong group and a lifelong best friend. Mini had almost cried.

Tony's mouth dropped. "You guys wore masks?"

Willy giggled. "We're not stupid, Kow Gong. I don't need Mini coming after me. My mother is also her lifelong best friend. I'd hate to break up the Mahjong group."

Tony shook his old grey head. "Do you know what I find hard to believe? How Mini Chin has any friends at all."

Willy accepted his drink. "Hitler had friends, I'm told. So did Mussolini. Brutus too. But in Mini's case she grew up poor in Chinatown. She went hungry, my mother says, and the other girls felt sorry for her, often bringing extra food to school to share. Genetics worked against her too, rendering her short and unattractive in the end, and the man who fathered her two children died young."

I nodded. "Likely of fear. She's nasty."

Tony grinned. "What Willy isn't telling you is that her husband was a Mafia boss and got bumped off. But she learned from him and the rest is history. She learned fast."

So, I arrived for a meeting at Richard's beach house early the following morning. If my information was correct the shipment was due to arrive at Port Vancouver within the next few days. My deal? Help rescue Jack and I'd close a blind eye, to be colloquial.

He didn't believe me. "I wish you could do that, Charlie, but I know you can't. You're incapable. You'll sniff those treasures out like a beagle and turn them in." He looked silly sitting there with cappuccino foam on his upper lip.

"Jack is worth more to me than that. I give you my word. If I'm such a goodie-goodie my word should be good."

I don't know that he believed me but my new best friends did. They fell all over me.

I barely made it to the wing chair by the fire before Shorty appeared with a frothy cappuccino on a tray. And a whisky chaser. He smiled from ear to ear. "Cha'lee. You good man."

I smiled. "Shorty. You aren't getting any prettier."

He bowed.

Richard, all cashmere, leaned back in his chair. "You could give him a break, you know. He's trying."

"So am I. Baby steps."

He thought about it. "I like the deal on your part I just don't like it on mine."

"I'm flexible. What are your terms?"

"I'd rather not be used as bait. I'm tired of being held prisoner."

Freddie came in with a gift basket of chocolates to set beside my chair. "You good man, Cha'lee. Very good man."

I smiled and nodded. Could it get any better than this? It could. King, who actually spoke English, came in with a bottle of Canadian Club the size of Shorty. "You are a good man, Cha'lee Hampton. You brought Urchard home."

Well, I was short on friends myself so I settled in. One couldn't have too many friends. "So, I'll make you a deal, Richard. I'll be bait. Acting as you, of course. It could work in the dark."

He narrowed his falcon-like eyes. "It could. But I have an ego, you see. And I prefer to act as Richard Chang. The most powerful drug lord on the Pacific Rim."

"Now you're talking."

With Willy communicating as Cyber Willy the chase began. In the meantime, Tony gave up the first high roller room in Macau, buying time. Tension gripped the air. At home, Jillian was preparing for her court case with slimy Marco skulking about. She was starting to piss me off so

over a banquette breakfast overlooking the city and ocean below I cranked,

"What? You can't meet with the letch in his office?"

Maya, the appeaser, had prepared her special jianbing.

Jillian held out her electronic bracelet. "Sure. Got any more bright ideas?"

Tommy and Eva piled in, both grabbing a quick bite before heading off to school.

"Give her a break," Tommy said, munching toast. "Can't you see she's suffering?"

"I see. And I'm sorry that most people who violate probation are suffering thus."

Jillian shot her nose in the air. "I'm not sorry. Not one bit."

"Good. Tell the court that before they issue you a nice blanket to go with your cell."

Eva reached for a bagel. "Have you heard anything about my parents?"

Ok. Given my profession I'm a proficient liar. "Not yet. Sorry. We're working on it." It was a dilemma, you see, whether to tell the truth or not tell the truth, since sometimes people just disappear. Willy and I had decided on the latter. "No matter what, honey, we're keeping you. They'd have to fight us to get you back."

Smiling, she tucked her bagel in a baggie and raced off, leaving me with a whiny tiger, if there was such a thing. "You have to deal with Marco, Hampton."

"Why? I'm not the one that chains myself to trees. Deal with him yourself. Didn't you almost marry the loser once?"

"Yeah, well I have that tendency. I married you once too. It's just that the preacher was actually a bum."

"Don't forget Richard. You actually married Richard. In a church."

"Are you ever going to give it up, Hampton?"

"I can't. You see, I'm addicted to your blazing eyes. They burn right through me and keep me regular. You scare the crap out of me."

At that point Tony ushered Marco Midolo in. "Don't hit him, Charlie. You know he hates to polish the floor with his precious overcoat. He still has the skid marks from the last time." He winked at me.

Glassy-eyed Marco crashed in all out of breath, likely the most exercise he'd had in months. Other than in bed with Judge Trudy.

The hair on the back of my neck bristled. "Overcoat. The hookers on East Hastings will be missing you."

"Hamster? Why aren't you on your little wheel? You've been spinning for years."

Embarrassed, Maya hurried over with coffee.

I held up my hand. "What? No mirrored cup? Ok. Just get him something shiny. So he can admire his pimply face."

Marco gasped. "I don't have pimples!"

"You will when you reach puberty."

Jillian held up her hand. "Stop it you two! This is supposed to be about me."

I stood up. "It always is." With that I strode from the room.

So, now you're thinking I'm a hard ass and you're likely right. But I wasn't happy about going back to Macau for any reason, especially on a prisoner exchange.

# Chapter Nineteen

While Willy and I curled up in sleepers at the back of the plane, Richard decided to throw himself a goodbye party, in case he didn't make it back, I figured. King was bartending with a heavy hand and the others were getting drunk. It was funny. I'd never actually heard Richard laugh but he was freely doing so and telling stories in Chinese. Shorty laughed so hard he almost fell off his chair. All four turned to stare at me.

"They're talking about me, aren't they Willy? Richard is using me as a prop."

He giggled. "He is. He's having a lot of fun at your expense."

"What's he saying?"

Willy was cracking up. "I don't think I should tell you."

"Then stop convulsing. I can take a joke. I have a sense of humor."

It took Willy a while to catch his breath. "Ok. Ok. He asked if the boys liked your new plastic face. He said you had a transplant and that you are really Kim Jong-un."

"Nice."

"You said you had a sense of humor but you're not laughing." He couldn't stop giggling.

"And?"

"He said you don't have any missiles on you but you have a homemade bomb in your case and if anyone farts the plane will blow up. So no cabbage."

"He's not funny."

"Yes he is. I've never seen the boys laugh so hard."

Shorty passed between us on his way to the bathroom and he stopped only long enough to say, "You bad man, Cha'lee." Then he kicked me on the shin.

"Where did he get these guys, anyway?"

"Well, Charlie. It's a short story. He inherited them. They belonged to his dad, Genghis Chang. They're like relatives, really, because he grew up with them in his home. When he was little they called him Chang Chang. Still do sometimes. Richard would kill for them and vice versa. End of story."

"Makes sense. They're an odd sort. I was sure he hadn't handpicked them."

King Kong Chin was sharpening his knife with his thumb, inspiring Willy to say, "I'll give you a dime if you run over there and take that knife away."

As things quieted down I fell asleep dreaming about knives. It was a seventeen-hour flight and I dreamed about a lot of knives.

Yes, money talks, as does fame. Try a lot of money and infamy and you've got a deal. Maybe. One hundred million dollars delivered by the notorious Richard Chang, miraculously still alive, in exchange for his father, well, that was serious business. Richard's resources stretched far and wide and few would mess with that. The exchange, arranged through Willy, would take place at a famous casino hotel in a posh honeymoon suite.

"Want to marry me?" I asked Willy as we trailed behind Richard and his goons.

"Don't get goofy, Hampton. As agreed, you are to remain silent as am I. Richard will do the talking. I don't expect trouble but you and I are here if it happens."

The door opened and through the crack I could see Jack sitting in a chair. He'd shaved and had been provided with a new suit, a little big but adequate. His jaw dropped as we entered.

His capturers were young Asian men, possibly in their twenties, and they spoke to Richard in respectful tones. I mean, Richard Chang? I suspected they had a boss or two hiding in one of the bedrooms but couldn't prove it. The interchange was brief. Richard motioned to Willy who tapped a few times on his cell and nodded. The money was in their account. Three of the four guards checked to confirm this, leaving nothing to chance. They nodded.

Richard turned to his dad. "Jack? We haven't got all day you know. Let's go."

Jack stood up on wobbly feet and dragged them to the door. He didn't say a word. Not en route to Richard's private jet. Even after we took off he was silent. Finally I couldn't take it any longer. "Cat got your tongue, Jack?"

His eyes filled with tears. "There's nothing to say. No words can express my gratitude." He remained silent until falling asleep and loudly snoring.

At the front door of 33 Terrace Place there was quite a celebration. Sharp-dressed Tony had donned his favorite velvet smoking jacket and looked quite smashing in red. He poked Jack with a lacquered cane topped by a gold lion head. Jack then grabbed his old friend in a bear hug.

"Get me a drink, will you Hamster? I damn well deserve one."

In the living room over drinks the old friends bantered and cuffed like two little kids. I left them to it. I just wanted to go home and on the way there I tried to whistle but failed. Then I remembered that I hated the sound of whistling and people who whistled and felt a lot better after that. I stopped by my office to collect my mail and to water Robert the Plant. "Did you miss me, Robert? Because I missed you."

Behind me a female loudly cleared her throat.

She was wearing legs. A lot of legs that seemed to start at the armpit and end in sandals with five-inch heels. I knew the face. It was an unforgettable face.

Lana McGoogle removed her hat and shook her long dark hair. "May I come in?"

"So, you can walk. Last time I saw you, you were in bed. With slimy Marco Midolo, I believe."

She showed her pearly white teeth. "I know it all. My husband hired you to follow me. But he said you wouldn't take his money."

"Sit down, Lana. You are my one and only divorce case. It was during a fall-out period with my family. Normally they hire me. You know. Since no one else will."

Her round brown eyes twinkled. "That's not what I hear. I hear you're a hotshot."

"Yeah? That's great because I write my own references. Mostly on hotel bathroom walls."

"You're as good-looking as they say."

"Who is they?"

"Other women."

"I'm relieved. I'd be nervous if Marco Midolo was after me. So, why are you hear, Lana McGoogle?"

She placed her hat on her lap. "It's complicated. I'm still with James. I guess everyone knows that."

I nodded. "Why are you still with James? I think it's well known that you have affairs."

Her mouth dropped. "Well, that's blunt. But I have to live with James, you see. He's controlling and abusive and won't let me go. He won't give me a divorce."

"You can't just leave?"

"I have no money. He's never let me work or even have my own bank account. I'd be on the street."

"I see. And how can I help you?" I could think of lots of ways but none of them professional.

"Well... I was hoping you may know someone who could help me. I was hoping you might know a hired killer."

# Chapter Twenty

On Sunday the party was at Jack's house with more than one reason to celebrate. Jillian almost knocked Shoeshine down hurrying to meet me at the door. "There won't be a trial! The judge saw no reason to drag everyone back and waste the court's time, even though last time I paid all the costs."

Jack paid all the court costs but who was counting? "And? The penalty for breaking probation?"

"Six month's house arrest. Isn't that great? It's not like I murdered someone, Judge Trudy said. Quite the opposite, in fact. I merely try to keep people from murdering trees. I try to keep people from destroying the planet. That's my crime." Her hazel eyes blazed.

"Your crime is breaking the terms of your probation. It's an automatic jail sentence."

"And I went to jail! I was arrested at the airport and spent three nights in jail. I know what it's like."

"Three whole nights? I hope you didn't break a fingernail."

"You don't have to be sarcastic. You're supposed to be happy for me. You're supposed to love me."

I put my arm around her. "I do love you. And you know it. My crime is in loving you too much."

She beamed up at me. "Thank you for bringing Jack home."

"I played a very small part in that. It's Willy you need to thank. And Richard."

"But you set it all up! With the help of your princess friend you squeezed the truth out of Reynolds and saved Richard."

"With Willy's help. And that princess friend of mine is Peter Selic's first wife remember. She cleaned him out before she married the prince."

"Nevertheless, you found Richard. And without Richard you'd have no leverage in bargaining for Jack. And by the way? Tony says you squeezed the truth out of him. He thanks you for that. He was going to keep it all to himself. And you found Tommy too!"

I couldn't believe the words flowing from her mouth. The woman usually hated me. "I'm quite a hero then."

"You've changed, Charlie. Do you know that? There was a time when you'd have taken all the credit yourself."

With my arm around her we headed into the noise, the happy noise of thugs and gangsters and everyone I loved. Willy waved to me. Richard gave me the thumbs up. His goons did too. And at the bar a familiar voice said,

"Make mine big, Hamster. And don't skimp this time. Don't be so damn stingy."

Epilogue

So, back to the church and everyone telling me what a loser Jillian was marrying this time and I concurred. And what really bugged me was Willy agreeing to be the guy's best man. And Richard a groomsman? How desperate could this guy be?

And as the breathtakingly-beautiful Jillian, on the arm of her father, proceeded down the aisle I held out my hand. She was going to be hard to handle and she was going to be my wife.
