Marionettes
The sound comedy
Production
Mezhrabpom-Film
Writers
Vladimir Shveitser
and Yakov Protazanov
Director: Yakov Protazanov
Co-director: Porfiri Podobed
Cameraman: Pyotr Yermolov
Sound department: Leonid Obolensky
Music by Leonid Polovinkin
Choreography by Kasyan Goleyzovsky
Art directors: M. Levin, S. Kozlovsky
Puppets made by N. Shalimov
Crew director: M. Leonidov
Associate directors: A. Jardinier, Aleksandr Rou
Camera assistant: N. Shum
Art director assistant: N. Borozdina
The sound is recorded by the system "Tagephone"
in the sound factory "Rot Front"
"do" - Anatoli Ktorov
"re" - hon. art. of RSFSR Nikolai Radin
"mi" - Valentina Tokarskaya
"fa" - Konstantin Zubov
"sol" - Sergei Martinson
"la" - people's art. of RSFSR Mikhail Klimov
"si" - S. Tikhonravov
Puppeteer, the armament industry's boss: people's art. of RSFSR Leonid Leonidov
Theatre director: hon. art. of RSFSR Vasili Toporkov
Master of Ceremonies: hon. art. of RSFSR Igor Arkadin
Poet: hon. art. of RSFSR O.Basov
Philosopher: Nikolai Bubnov
White General: hon. art. of RSFSR Vladimir Popov
Commander of the frontier post: Mikhail Zharov
Clerk: Pyotr Galadzhev
The action takes place in
an imaginary country named Boufferia.
Dear audience,
you'll see a political comedy
as a puppet show...
Come on, come on.
... and a puppet comedy
as a political show.
Let me introduce our actors:
"do",
within an inch of being crowned a King.
"re",
plenipotentiary of God the Lord.
"mi"..."mi",
superstar.
"fa",
a person bellicose to the utmost degree.
"sol",
Barber,
a modest barber.
"la",
statesman.
"si", come on,
come here.
a gentleman who deals in politics.
Dear audience, as you can see
there's no mystery in our performance.
Please, pay special attention
that all these strings are held
by the same hands
and these hands are manipulating
all the movements of the marionettes.
Artful?
It's the art of manipulation!
It's a crash!
It's a catastrophe!
Everywhere the situation is the same -
depression, stock exchange panic,
political nonsense!
And what's going on over there, in the USSR?
How are things progressing?
Over there?! Ha! Over there!...
Would you like to take a look?
... and the unprecedented industrial growth
is continuing.
Their economic growth is fabulous!
Sad but true.
Calm down, Erranimus!
It's bad for you to worry.
Take my pills.
To hell with pills!
To hell with sentimentality!
- The way out! Where's the way out?!
- The way out?
It had been you who suggested it!
You're right, to hell with sentimentality!
Europe is sick.
A surgical operation is needed.
What's worrying me most of all
is your Bufferia, Ambassador.
- Bufferia? The great Bufferia!..
- Ha! Your country! So what?
I hope we'll come to a definite decision
at today's meeting, shall we?
Yes! Today we'll give
the signal to start!
# Everybody knows my fiery temperament
# and my verve, and my verve.
# Noses and lips, cheeks and necks
are in my hands, are in my hands.
# ???
???
# to comprehend the secrets of beauty
Please! Madame...
Fraisure extra no. 3.
- Is it uncomfortable?
- No.
I envy you, Madame.
You are living under the same roof
with a Prince du sang.
He's a good-for-nothing.
Ladies and gentlemen,
let me consider...
Let me consider
our meeting being opened.
We are here among our peers
and we can speak absolutely frankly.
The angel of peace will not save
Europe from the crisis.
And thanks to the crisis the problem of
the Soviet Union becomes particularly dangerous.
We are balancing
on the edge of the abyss.
If it's necessary, the signal,
the signal, gentlemen,
can be given by my valiant homeland, Bufferia!
But before that we must have
the Government of the Iron Fist In Bufferia!
Well, gentlemen,
we'll give Bufferia a new King.
But Bufferia is already ruled
by a seven-year-old child.
It's good only for home consumption.
We need a real man on the throne.
What do you say, gentlemen...
about Prince ...
Well... What you can say?..
Bastard!
Hey-hey-hey!
Quiet, quiet!
What did you say?
No, nothing at all...
Again?!
You know, I'm terribly cold.
I feel chilly somehow.
It's gone.
And won't we make a mistake?
He's a drunkard, you know.
And what's wrong with that for a King?
- But he's good-for-nothing!
- That's what we need.
- But he's stupid!
- That's particularly interesting for us!
A suitable King.
Yesterday I met my friends at the races.
It was Alphonse, Ex-King of Spain
and the Russian Emperor.
What's his name?
Kirill.
An unemployed sovereign...
What a disgusting spectacle!
# There is a distant land on earth,
# they have no crises or crashes.
# A sultry land of diamonds - Paraguay,
a country of monks and lovers.
# oh how I want you to take me to Paraguay.
# And there
# you will forget,
forget your misfortunes, my good boy.
# Let's go, let's go quicker,
my sweetheart, to Paraguay!
# Every day you become more jealous,
# And I'm tired of lying.
# Only in Paraguay we'll find
what we can't have here.
# oh how I want you to take me to Paraguay.
# And there
# you will forget,
forget your misfortunes, my good boy.
# Let's go, let's go faster,
my sweetheart, to Paraguay!
Some day I'll jump onto the throne of my ancestors
and I'll prove that my political program...
you know,
my political program...
my program... hm...
it's a good program!
And my map of the world... Do you understand?
The map of the world!
This... hm... map will be...
hm... it will be even better!
Do you understand?
You'll never understand!
Because you're a boor,
my dear fellow,
and I'm anointed by the Lord.
It's gone.
The candidacy of the Prince Do
will be approved by Europe and Boufferia
because we hold the strings
of political influence in our hands.
Gentlemen of the people's representatives,
attention,
pay attention, please.
The Prime Minister of Boufferia
will now give an extremely important,
extremely important report concerning
the questions of home policy.
Attention,
attention, I beg you!
Gentlem...
Gentlemen, if my Ministry resigns...
Boufferia will be lost!
In the name of the King and
the people, calm down,
calm down, people's representatives!
You won't frighten!.. You won't frighten me,
Social Democratic getlemen.
- They are in zealous discussion of the question!
- Really zealous.
Calm down, calm down,
gentlemen of the people's representatives!
I beg you, calm down, calm down!
Calm down, calm down!
Stop this act of violence!
Ob... Objection!
You and your liberal gang
have done enough to ruin Boufferia!
- It is ruined with the help of God!
- No, no, it's not true!..
- Let the "Party of the Strong" seize the power!
- Objection! Objection!
Leave the power to the Fascist Brown Shirts?!..
We'll take it ourselves!!!
- The people haven't gone completely crazy yet!
- Do you think so?!
- We, the Socialists, won't let
the bandits seize power! - What?!
- Are they applauding?
- They've come to an agreement, thank goodness!
Please connect me with
the "Bufferia" newspaper editor.
A great day! A heated session in
parliament! The government is deposed!
Damn it! It's occupied!
Fetch him!
Fetch His Majesty!
Sit still!
Would Your Majesty consent to
the resignation of His Majesty's government?
Don't upset His Majesty!
You see? The King is set dead
against your resignation.
King's will is law...
for the government.
- You are a true friend, Your Eminence!
- The friends of the church are our friends.
Do,
Prince of Boufferia
Pardon.
D'accord.
Merci!
Hm... mmm...
I feel chilly somehow!
What did you say?
I feel chilly.
Just a little, you know.
Aha!
One... two.
One... two.
One...
Wait, wait!
- Is it uncomfortable?
- No, it's all right.
Pardon!
But listen! This is already a luxury!
It's not a luxury,
it's hygiene!
Give me a break!
Listen to me! Stop it!
It's not a luxury,
it's hygiene.
Boor!
What did you say?
Do,
Prince of Boufferia
The bell rings, don't you hear?
- Should I open?
- Open.
- Who is it?..
- They've come!
- The creditors?
- Yes!
- Did you tell them that I'm not at home?
- It's impossible to tell that to such persons!
You brute!
- They'll seize all these things?
- They will. - They'll certainly do that! 
- They will. - Hide this!
- Have you swallowed it?
- No.
Dress me! Quickly!
Quickly!
- I used up all my credits, gentlemen!
- Oh, no, this isn't the reason, isn't the reason.
If you've come to demand payment...
No, we've come to ask you
to save Boufferia!
Your Royal Highness, we, the White Eagles of Russia,
are ready to shed blood!
- Today you were reborn for history!
In the interest of Europe, interests of superior
civilization, interests of culture and of religion...
Your Royal Highness, we are ready to shed blood
in order to save Europe from Bolshevism!
We are at your disposal!
Our country asks of you... our country
demands your accession to your ancestor's throne!
We beg you.
You're wasting your time, gentlemen.
Young man... excuse me, Your Royal Highness!
We've come to offer you a deal.
- Come on, what's going on in there?
- Pardon!
The throne has lost its mystical meaning.
- Its meaning...
- Now it has a practical meaning.
- A practical meaning.
- Europe's commercial interests...
International Bank of Commerce
check-book
- Europe's commercial interests have taken care of everything.
- Yes.
- Here are our conditions.
- Ah!..
Aha.
- And now can you hear?
- Mister Do thanks them,
but I don't know why.
The Kingdom of Boufferia
His Majesty's personal cabinet.
For your personal instructions.
- Do your best, my dear fellow!
- Hm, quite so!
The kingdom of Boufferia
His Majesty's personal cabinet.
# Like now is going Prophetic Oleg
To revenge irrational khazars, [Pushkin]
# He made their towns, for bloody attack,
Subjected to different hazards;
Oh, my fellow,
Christ is risen!
# Let the winning music play loud!
We are victorious and the enemy flees
The barber Sol is appointed...
He's writing...
But I can't see what.
- They have paid you a good sum of money? Congratulations!
- Take off your hands. I'm busy.
- What?!
- Don't bother me.
What's going on?
The barber Sol is appointed
my personal valet
Do you see? I'm appointing you
my personal barber.
Well, what did I tell you?
And you... you... what should I appoint you?
No... I found it.
I present you with this one!
- You give me this old photo?!
- I make a gift of my summer place to you.
- You are going crazy!
- I'm becoming a figure in history!
I'm going to be crowned as king.
I'm going to rule my army, my fleet, my treasury.
Today your falcon has spread his wings!
Help me, my dear fellows.
So far everything's going absolutely alright.
- I'm flying away.
- I'll miss you. - Come by air!
We, the Russian patriots, envy Boufferia.
Its monarch will drop down from heaven!
All of Europe is watching you
at this historical moment!
But the most amazing thing is that at this
his... historical moment I'm sick. So that's that!
Bon voyage, Your Majesty!
What can I do for you?
Aha!
In a few hours the inevitable event
will happen.
All the political diifferences
should be forgotten.
Forgotten?!..
No!
The representatives of all of the political
parties will get the portfolios!
And we will be the first row.
Really?
- But where's the parliament's approval?
- Ha! The parliament's approval!..
Here it is!
There you are!
Manifesto: By the grace of God and by the people's will,
we, Do the Third, declare to all our loyal subjects...
It isn't gone!
Stop! I beg you, stop it!
Your Maj!.. Your Majesty!
Be careful! Don't catch cold!
Be careful!!!
Where are you going?!
I can't understand anything!
- He's a Bolshevik spy!
- Plain as day! He came from their side of the river.
Boufferia
Frontier post №17
- Halt! Who goes?
- Hey-hey-hey! I'm the King of Boufferia!
Oh, oh, oh! Dear me!
What has he done? Where has he gone?!
Welcome, Your Majesty!
Your Majesty!..
Your Majesty, Your Majesty!..
Wait, wait! I'm... You understand?..
You... You see... What?
Words... words are useless,
Your Majesty!
The people of Boufferia are greeting
their sovereign. Hurray!
Look at him! He's crying!
So you must cry too, Boufferia!
Boufferia
Frontier post №17
What?
Bring him in!
Listen to me! I'm...
May I know what to call you?
Hm...
You may know. I'm your King,
my dear fellow!
I admit to have secretly crossed the border,
acting as an agent of Comintern.
... as a Comintern.
Of Comintern.
I affirm that the Soviet Union is preparing
an aggression against Boufferia.
... is preparing against Boufferia.
Against Boufferia.
I sign this statement.
Search him, take his picture
and throw him into the cell.
Take... snapshot... photograph...
the overcoat...
the cap... the dagger...
the pistol...
the smile...
a terrifying smile!..
A typical Bolshevik!
- ...Bolshevik.
- Shut up!
Pose, pose!
Ok, great!
I'm taking a picture...
You can search him now!
The barber Sol is appointed
my personal valet
Mister Royal valet...
Good day, sir!
Alright, alright!
Just a little more!
Your Excellency, the ceremony
must be rushed!
Yes. The boot!
- Quick, quick! Come on, move!
- He can't get them on! - Push it!
Turn him over! The trousers!..
Alright! Quick!
All here.. Alright!
The ribbon...
They're all in place.
Hurry! Don't stop until the frontier!
There's enough petrol!
Well, my boy! You've lost the crown,
but you've gained a box of excellent candies!
Order of the Holy Spirit,
crown and sceptre!
Put it on!
Your hand...
your hand...
Your Majesty, haven't your foreign travels
tired you out?
He's lost, I've lost,
we have all lost!
Your Eminence, there's not a moment to lose!
The orb!
Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!
Don't be hasty with your display
of loyalty, my friend.
The King is weird...
he's really weird!
- Such grandeur!
- He was born to be a monarch!
The deputies of the nobility are waiting
for wisdom and instructions from this august throne!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Your Majesty should be worried
about the nobility's destiny.
Which measures should be taken to restore
the political power of the hereditary nobility?
Ah! That's right!.. The nobility!..
Sprinkle and refresh!
- Sprinkle and refresh...
- Through the land bank, of course!
It's clever enough!
The Socialist party isn't expecting a shock,
but reforms from Your Majesty.
We strongly insist on the opening
of the Sunday schools,
on the distribution of quilted coats
to the unemployed people
and, finally, on the spreading of culinary skills
among the educated women.
The police and the army are eating up
3/4 of our budget.
Isn't this a luxury for our country?!
It's not a luxury,
it's hygiene!
That's right!
That's right!
It's hygiene, Your Majesty!
In your person we hail the Leader of the Nation,
the true hope of Fascism!
With you ruling the country,
Boufferia shall be transformed into the Armoured Fist!
Isn't this the best answer to the demagogues
advocating the total disarmament?!
That's right! Give them a cropping!
Crop them close! With a no. 0!
My officers will worship such a king!
Yes, he has some sort of acuteness!
In the name of the great principles of liberty,
the Liberal Party insists on drastic measures...
Yes, on drastic measures against the menace
of an increasing revolutionary
movement in our country!
We're waiting, we're waiting
for your instructions.
Which measures should be used to save
the country from the revolutionary shock!
Which measures...
There are different measures.
For example: hot-pack poultices,
lead lotions, facial massages.
Merci!
A reliable firm should have
all sorts of disinfectants.
Such determination! Such strength!
I'm almost in love with him!
Why almost?!
I'm in love with him already!
- Hot-pack poultices...
- A delicate hint...
- Massages... How are we supposed to understand this?
- It's obvious.
Lead lotions...
That's great!
The Lord and Your Majesty will save Boufferia!
Now you must say something to the audience.
Your ...
falcon ... has spread ...
... his wings!
Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!
Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!
- What?
- And what about your own words?..
- So what have I been saying?
- That he's weird...
- Who has been saying that?
- You have.
- Me?
- Yes, you!
- When?!
- Here. Just now.
It never happened!
Follow him! Follow him!
Princess! He's looking at you!
Permanent wave.
Fraisure extra No. 3.
Princess, he was looking at you, at you!
You're lucky!
The great intellect and political wisdom
of our new king
suggested the expansion of Boufferia's military program.
Bravo, Deremin ???, bravo! You can be happy,
as politician and as the armament industry's boss.
The guy is really in the right place!
Hello, Dan ???! Dispatch the musical instruments
to Boufferia!
Yes, of course I mean
"musical instruments".
We'll play those instruments
the peace symphony!
Please, let me know your name and rank.
Major, nat...
Major, the greatest national poet of Boufferia!
The greatest scientist
and philosopher of Boufferia, Minor!
I dedicated a book to His Majesty.
It's entitled "Fascism as philosophy".
I'm  proving scientifically that our new king
is greater than Caesar...
Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
...and braver than Alexander of Macedonia!
I... I... I hope... I hope His Majesty will also
listen favourably to my poem!
After storms and disasters
the dynasty became stronger.
The power revived
under the sovereign's hand.
This is a new era,
this is a true faith.
This is rule and property
and long-awaited peace.
Hey, Mister Whatsisname!
Dress me, quick!
# Everybody knows my fiery temperament
and my verve, and my verve.
# Noses and lips, cheeks and necks
are in my hands, are in my hands.
Let me, please!
Please.
Give it to me!
Do you call this a razor!
Some people believe it's easy to shave the king!
The king wasn't pleased with him!
This is terrible!
[не угодил злодей]
Today the king's personal valet
has been summoned.
Bring him in...
I'm happy to offer to His Majesty
the services of his favourite barber!
Bring him here.
Does he need a shave?
Bandit!
Vile creature!
You were always a thief
and now you want to steal my crown?!..
Oh, no! Please, take your crown!
- But if you don't get lost right now!..
- I'll get lost, I'll do that!..
- It seems to me that the king is satisfied!
- Absolutely satisfied!
- Is it uncomfortable?
- Not at all.
- Is it uncomfortable?
- Not at all.
They think that I must shave this beast!
A little more!
- The work of a professional!
- Yes, you're absolutely right!
Is Your Majesty satisfied?
It was a perfect job!
Well done!
Come on!
Now you understand!
You are a boor, my dear fellow,
and I am annointed by the Lord.
- Boufferia is in the center of Europe's attention.
- And you are in the center of Boufferia!
The US-European agency... charged me, madame,
to find out the purpose of your journey!
The purpose of my journey is
to visit my summer place and...
- And? And?
- ...and share the fate of my king!
# There is a distant land on earth,
they have no crises or crashes.
# A sultry land of diamonds - Paraguay,
a country of monks and lovers.
# oh how I want you to take me to Paraguay.
And there
# you will forget...
What were you going to tell me?
The government waits for your instructions,
regarding the declaration of the fascist majority.
# There is a distant land on earth,
A great national enthusiasm...
# they have no crises or crashes.
We don't need the cradle of constitution anymore.
# A sultry land of diamonds - Paraguay,
The government must concentrate
all the power in its hands...
# a country of monks and lovers.
- monks...
monks...
- Against the advance of marxism...
- Mar... Marxism?
- What's that?
- Marx's doctrine, Your Majesty.
Ah, I know! Marx!..
With such a big beard!..
- monks...
- monks... - monks... monks... monks...
Chairman of Bufferia's Council of Ministers "La".
Read with pleasure.
Monks... Visit the barber,
gentlemen marxists!
It's a scandal!
But the most outrageous thing is
that this barber, this bandit
is in the right place,
wearing my boots!
Listen, parrot, you should understand
that it's terrible!
Yes! But this cannot go on for long.
The archbishop was personally
acquainted with me. Between ourselves...
Hello! Hello.
The commandant's office in the palace?
Please, take a telephone message.
I hear, I hear what you say!
I'm not deaf. Yes! Yes...
The resolution will be inevitable in a few hours.
It's a comma, am I right?
Rev... Revo... Rev... Revolution?!
In a few hours? This can't be true!
What do you mean - this can't be true?!
I'm telling you in plain Boufferian!
Telephone message
To the commandant's office in the palace
The resolution is expected within the next few hours.
The majority is demanding political victims.
Those fools don't understand that the parliamentary
debates will terminate in a resolution.
Political victims are necessary.
Victims!
What have you said? Victims?!
What kind of victims? What? What? What?
We were cut off.
What? What? What? What?
They say it has started!
In full swing!
Gentlemen, quiet! Quiet! Quiet. Don't panic.
Run away immediately!
Don't forget me!
Please, my dear, would you kindly tell me
where I can find the archbishop? I need to...
Boor!
Very polite! Pretty nice customs exist in the palace.
Everybody's running somewhere, everyone's busy,
Clear as mud.
Where are you going?! Wait!
Stay here, big-nosed devil!
- Listen to me, my dear fellow,
why is everybody running away?
- Get lost!
Gentlemen, excuse me! Gentlemen, everybody's
running, but where's... hmm... the archbishop?
They're firing!
Everyman for himself!
Everyman for himself!
What shall we do, gentlemen?
What shall we do?
We need to discuss the situation at once.
We'll take measures! Measures!
I'm afraid it's an impasse.
Your Majesty, is there any possibility
for you to become Your Majesty once again?
No, thanks! To hell with the crown!
Now you have to stay Your Majesty!
Merci!
I'll tell you what - reign,
reign as much as you like!
I'm not angry at all.
No! It's for you to reign...
Telephone message: To the commandant's office in the palace
A resolution is expected within the next few hours.
The majority demands political victims.
Fortunately, the mistake was grammatical,
not historical.
This time, it has thundered, but not from the clouds,
there's a smell of thunderstorm!
My dear, pack your suitcase
and God's speed!
- What do you mean?
- You must resign!
Me? Why?!
Oh my God!..
The angel came and told me: not peace,
but a sword... not liberals, but fascists!
Your angel is a fraud!
- He wants to depose my government!
- Exactly!
- The war with the Soviets is being prepared...
- Wait a second! I know the name of your angel!
- It's the armament industry's...
- Hush!
And the angel of the Lord said!
The cause of our complications is clear,
gentlemen of the people's representatives.
It's the hand of Moscow!
Here's the portrait of an agent of Comintern
who was arrested by our people!
Brothers, the Holy Church is blessing
your great deed!
A new crusade!
The time has come to protect
the Christ from the pagans,
the King from the revolutionaries,
to protect Boufferia from the Soviet Union!
God be with you!
- His Majesty will be very glad to see you.
- I hope so.
His Majesty personally attends
the inauguration of a new coastal battery.
Oh, that's chic!
God, bless our weapons
which keep the peace!
Amen!
The King still doesn't know about your arrival,
it'll be a nice surprise for him.
Oh, that's funny!
Aha, here's the red devil's country!
- Please, let me take a look!
- Of course!
Labour - School
Seven-year-School
Seven-year School...
It is written there: "Seven-year School"!
Ah, the Seven-year School!..
The five-year plan wasn't enough for them,
they've invented the Seven-year School!
It's much worse for us,
it's mass education!
To His Majesty!..
Your Majesty!
Eh? What's that? Ah!
Let me, please... That's for you...
Here... Let me, please... That's for you...
Read your words from this manuscript. It is written
in accordance with the wishes of our powerful allies.
Good...
Boufferia decorates you
with the Order of Peace, Mr. Prime Minister.
- Please, continue to lead coincidently...
- Not concidently, but confidently!
Not coincidently, but confidently lead the country
on its way to universal peace.
- Is that all?
- Yes, that's all...
Well, gentlemen, I remind you once more:
an accidental volley of the battery,
without any target,
simply at the seven-year school.
Please, remember: at twelve o'clock sharp!
Attention! Attention!
What? What's this?
I'm used to walking.
It can't be helped, there's a custom to do
that in face of the troops.
Ah, I can do that!..
The other leg!..
Let me help you!
- Whoa! Whoa! What are you!..
- That's ok!
- Hold me! Hold me!
- Look out! Please, look out!
Say a few words to your loyal troops!
Ah, I can do that...
My loyal Boufferians, follow me!
Forward!
- Where are you?.. Where are you going, Your Majesty?!
- A mad animal!
Well, it seems I inspired them.
Quite enough, Your Majesty.
- Has it been decided?
- Yes! In one hour the gun will fire the shot.
Is everything ready? Quick, quick, quick! Well, the flowers are
in the middle, the fruits will be there, the wines will be here.
Well, do you know who is sitting
on the Boufferian throne?!
Yes, I know. And did you think
we don't know anything?
He's a legitimate monarch!
And why do I have to dine alone?
You won't be alone...
A nice monarch! Barber, fraud,
bedrenched with eau-de-cologne!
Every power emanates from God!
From God...
I'll complain!
And what will Europe say about this scandal?
Parliament, the Stock Exchange?!
The Stock Exchange... I'll take the matter to court,
to the League of Nations!
You're too late, my son.
The King has conquered everyone!
# Everybody knows my fiery temperament
and my verve, and my verve.
# Noses and lips, cheeks and necks
are in my hands, are in my hands.
- Why, it's you?!
- Yes, it's m-m-me.
Pardon, is that you?
Yes, it's me as you can see!
Yes, but I'm not the same person anymore.
- I was always telling you...
- Exactly! - ... that you're fool!
It can't be helped.
But I'll... show you.
And where's His Majesty?
His Majesty...
Yes. My sweetheart, my friend.
His Majesty!
Where have you been? Take this...
and take it quickly to the dining room!
And who has been doing your hair
in my absence?
Madame... Madame...
You!.. have you gone mad!
Have you forgotten who you are and who I am?
You are a flunkey, a boor, a villain,
a mean creature, a fool!
S'il vous plaоt!
Oh... Oh...
- You are here?!
- Where else should I be?.. Your Majesty!
My sweetheart!
Damn it!
What does this mean?
This? It's a woodcock.
I saw it flying. And then: "Bang!"...
and then... here it is...
Caught it myself, shot it myself,
fried it myself.
- Yes, but still...
- I adore frying woodcocks!
- But still I don't understand...
- Please!
Fascism as Philosophy
I can do anything!.. Anything!
The ministers, parliament,
they are lying at my feet in the dust!
The whole of Europe is also lying down.
America... Well, how to deal with them
hasn't been decided yet.
- You've become too nervous, Do!
- Ah?
- The burden of power has worn you out?
- It has worn me out.
Do you know who you are and who I am?!
You hog, you vile creature!
Fool!
One minute, please!
You've gorged yourselves on my supper?
That's the limit!
But how can you allow all that?!
Amazing laces! They get untied
always at the wrong moment!
Clear it away!
Clear it away!
You are dazzling, Sol!
# There is a distant land on earth,
they have no crises or crashes.
# A sultry land of diamonds - Paraguay,
a country of monks and lovers.
# oh how I want you to take me to Paraguay.
And there ...
# you will forget,
forget your misfortunes, my good boy.
# Let's go, let's go quicker, my sweetheart, to Para...
#...guay!...
Five minutes more and we'll hear...
- Scoundrel!
- Villain!
I'm abdicating!
He's trying to kill me!
It's unfair!
- To Paraguay?! To the monks?!
- Don't touch him!
- Let me!.. Let me go!
- Don't! Don't touch him!
- Don't dare to touch him!
- Let me go, you traitress!
What? What's going on?
What happened? What's that noise?
- Let me go! Help me kill him!
- Hold him!
- Give it to me! Give it to me!!!
Dear audience! You've watched a fantastic,
but probable story.
You've heard a gunshot, but for the time being,
it hasn't been fired in reality.
But it may happen.
Here they are, our heroes!
Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, si -
a basic musical scale,
which can become the basis
for the most intricate comedy.
You can easily guess yourself
the meaning of our comedy.
Maestro, please!
Good bye, respectable audience!
Good bye, good bye!
The End
subtitles by Kammerer, IDBoris & Serdar202 @KG
