>>> AH, MY COMRADES,
GOOD-MORROW.
I'VE RETURNED FROM MY JOURNEY.
>> I PRAY YOUR JOURNEY TO THE
KINGDOM OF DUNCAN WAS A SAFE
ONE.
>> INDEED, MY LORD.
AND ONE OF THE MUNCHKINS, I
TRIUMPHED.
LET US FEAST ON THEIR BALLS.
>> GOOD MORNING, M'LADY.
>> NO.
>> YOUR SMILE IS --
>> NO, YOU DON'T TALK TO ME.
>> APOLOGIES, M'LADY, APOLOGIES,
M'LADY.
>> HEY, FOLKS, IF I COULD HAVE
YOUR ATTENTION REAL QUICK.
>> OUR LORD APPROACHES.
>> LET US LISTEN WITH A
QUIZZICAL EAR AND A HEART OF
BRAVERY.
>> RIGHT.
SO I JUST WANTED TO ANNOUNCE
THAT OUR NEW EMPLOYEE OF THE
MONTH IS RYAN FROM GRAPHICS FOR
HIS GREAT WORK ON THE NEW
WALMART WEBSITE.
NICE.
YOUR PRIZE IS A FREE CONE FROM
BASKIN-ROBBINS.
>> THANK YOU, SIRE.
>> DON'T DO THIS.
>> IT'S MINE HONOR TO SERVE THE
COURT'S DESIGN FIRM AND I WILL
ENDEAVOR TO --
>> ALL RIGHT.
JUST GET BACK TO WORK, PLEASE,
THANK YOU.
>> MY FELLOW COMRADES, DID YOU
HEAR OF MY MOST HIGH HONOR?
>> DO NOT CALL ME YOUR COMRADE.
FOR THOU IS A TRAITOR.
T'WAS I WHO HAS DEVELOPED THE
COLOR SCHEME FOR THINE WALMART
HOME PAGE.
>> YOU ARE MISTAKEN HERE, SIR.
DOES THOU FORGET WHO SUGGESTED
"I BOUGHT" BE BUBBLY LETTERS.
>> T'WAS CORNY.
>> T'WAS NOT.
T'WAS AWESOME.
>> MY LORDS, SHALL WE ALLOW SUCH
PETTY SQUABBLES TO FRACTURE OUR
BROTHERHOOD OF FRIENDSHIP?
>> AYE, WE SHALL.
>> LET US BATTLE, YOU SWINE.
>> SO BE IT.
I CAST A FIREBALL AT YOU.
>> I DODGE IT.
AND REMIND YOU OF OUR LATEST --
AT YE OLD HARD ROCK CAFE.
I TRADE BLOWS WITH A CANNONBALL.
>> I DEFLECT YOUR ATTACK WITH MY
OAKEN SHIELD.
AND NOTICE, THOU SEEMS TO FORGET
THAT I VENMOED MY SIDE OF THE
BILL ALREADY.
I THROW A FIREBALL AT J.B.
>> YOU SNAKE.
I CALL UPON MOTHER NATURE AND
STRIKE YOU BOTH DOWN WITH BLUE
RAIN.
>> FORCEFIELD.
>> OH, I AM HURT.
BUT I EAT A BERRY.
AND REPLENISH MY HEALTH.
AND I STRIKE YOU BOTH WITH A
GIANT --
>> I FIRE AN ARROW.
>> I BLOCK IT.
>> I FIRE AGAIN.
>> I BLOCK AGAIN.
>> I PLAY MY FLUTE.
ITS SIREN SONG LULLS YOU TO
SLEEP.
>> I STRIKE.
>> I BLOCK.
>> I STRIKE.
>> I BLOCK.
>> GUYS!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
STOP FOOLING AROUND AND GET BACK
TO WORK, PLEASE.
>> NAY, WE ARE HONOR-BOUND TO
FIGHT FOR THE TREASURE OF
EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.
>> IF YOU OPPOSE THIS, WE SHALL
DESTROY YOU.
>> OKAY, WELL, CLEARLY GIVING
RYAN THE AWARD WAS A PROBLEM SO
I'M JUST GOING TO GIVE IT TO
GINA INSTEAD.
>> NO, I SUMMON AN EARTH WALL TO
BLOCK YOU.
AND CAST A CLARITY SPELL OVER
THE
OFFICE REVEALING THAT YE
MASTURBATE UNDER THE STAIRWELL.
>> MAN, IS THAT TRUE?
>> NO, OF COURSE NOT.
IT'S JUST THEIR STUPID GAME.
>> I USE MY JACOB'S COAT WHICH
RENDERS ME INVISIBLE BUT THEN I
REAPPEAR AND SUMMON A PICTURE OF
YE OLDE MASTURBATION.
>> WHAT?
NO.
NO, YOU GIVE ME THAT.
>> DUPLICATION SPELL.
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER ]
>> STOP IT, OKAY?
FINE, FINE.
FINE.
YOU CAN ALL BE EMPLOYEE OF THE
MONTH.
>> VICTORY!
LANCE THE SUPERVISOR HAS HONORED
US ALL.
I CROWN THEE.
>> I CROWN THEE.
>> I CROWN THEE, AS WELL.
COME, LET US CELEBRATE UPON
YONDER HARD ROCK CAFE.
>> HUZZAH!
>> HUZZAH!
>> WAIT, THEY JUST GET TO LEAVE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?
>> YEAH, REMEMBER, THEY HAVE ALL
THESE PICTURES OF ME
MASTURBATING AT WORK.
>> OH, RIGHT.
>> YEAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
