

Crazyism 2

A Religion For The Mentally Ill

By

Lucifer Jeremy White

Crazyism 2: A Religion for the Mentally Ill

By Lucifer Jeremy White

2018

Public Domain

I can be found online under my name

(Lucifer Jeremy White)

The Edge... There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

-Hunter S. Thompson-

Introduction

I don't really know what I am going to be doing with this, yet, exactly. I have a general idea. I am wanting to create a good new religion. Something that hasn't been done. But for the time being I will use this book as a base for something to be continued on more clearly. As a result this book very well provides the basis of what's to come for anyone who would create from there what it could be made into.

Craziness, mental illness, and such things are undeniably in the world. To be human is to be crazy. To be crazy among the same crazy is to be normal. Crazy and human are two of the same. No doubt then could a useful and relevant religion may be made of it.

  1. This book will present just how crazy humanity is from person to person.

  2. This book will teach you how to be crazy in a good way

  3. It will warn you of "bad" crazy, the sin of craziness

  4. This book will teach how crazy goes with crazy the best way

  5. To connect your crazy with other's even if you are faking your own while around them

  6. To establish crazy that makes your life better

  7. To incorporate these into a religion

  8. And most importantly to provide a system for crazy people to operate in, much as psychiatrists and psychologists have their own, one for us

To acknowledge that all are crazy is a better teaching than saying that life is suffering, deal with it. There is a real lesson here that things should never be taken too seriously. And there really is a good religion that could be made of these things

I am certainly qualified to deliver these. I was diagnosed with ADD, Schizoid PD, and some other diagnoses' from an early age. I have been in and out of mental hospitals, often. Very often. And I know the way of it through and through. Hell, once I was in the mental hospital, locked up for a full year. My friends have all been crazy. I have been in a few group homes. The tenants all have mentally ill, sometimes severely.. but probably not as much as me at my worst. I have fallen into a very deep abyss of insanity.. until I was medicated. And like magic, do schizophrenic medications work: removing delusional thinking, that one day you are thinking that the radio is talking to you, then after being medicated, you don't. And I mean one day you are staring up at the clouds and thinking you control the weather. Then after getting back on these pills, you don't. I'd hallucinate and be grandiose. But my reality was real and sure, but the fantasy made my reality. I really did hear demons and spirits. But I was thrown into something I couldn't grasp. If I could, I'd not been so bad off. Like what were these things telling me? What do they mean? Where's my missing sense? They speak things I don't well enough understand. And I don't know why or where they come from.

So to made a point very clear I am entering into areas of this book that I understand well and have the experience for. Most of all this book will provide a system for crazy people to operate in. Just like how a psychiatrist gas theirs. And in structuralizing it into a religion is a loaded gun (a mighty thing.) We would have the income with which to engage and operate it with, freely. Our resources will be church based, not college degree based, not necessarily anyway. And may the Church be good and helpful, not an enemy to psychology. Hell, I like psychology. They've helped me a lot in life, they picked me up where I fell. Without them and medication I'd have lived my life as a madman until the day I died. Making an enemy out of them? No, I don't have either the desire or will to, nor any good reason. Mental hospitals aren't a nightmarish place like they used to be, many decades ago. And leave the past behind—they've become good through and through.

One time I was taken off the street by the police and put into a mental hospital. A doctor came in with a needle. I thought that their medication was poisonous, like I do before I am on it awhile and can think clearly again. I hate their practice of using needles, but they don't do that if you don't refuse medication or act vigorously aggressive.

So that provides all of the information we need to proceed.

Crazyism is a foundation of people whom may be openly crazy toward each other. The root of our belief therefore is not to judge each other. In fact it is the worst sin for us: to judge.

Let us be open toward each other. May we made accepting toward each other. And may we practice crazyism with each other that the very least of The Crazy are the most strange among The Others. That we would have to be very crazy indeed to make any difference, to stand out.

Regard the one as though on stage. They are the actors among us. They do nothing more crazy than a regular pretending actor acting a part. As do we, but with the world as our stage. Deliberately be crazy when among us. Make noises strange. Make movements you think childish.

The Christians emulate Christ. The Buddhists Buddha. And the Muslim, Mohammed. But we emulate children. Children serve a good example for us.

The Christians have virtue such as honesty. We do too, but in a different way: we are honest with ourselves and with others. And we are honest with ourselves and others when that crazyness is sincere, not too fake. Be crazy in an honest way. It is always going to be a little fake, but don't be too fake. You are being fake when you don't know the part you play.

Our virtue is:

To not keep secrets. Keeping secrets are a sin among us.

To be purposefully uninhibited. To cage oneself into normalcy is a sin to us

To be accepting. Judging others is a sin to us

And to be honest with oneself. To not be narrow minded. To realize you don't have to be made into anything restrictive.

On the whole the two highest virtues are not to judge and to not be too serious toward anything. But it is in not judging crazy people for being crazy. Judgement of very rude or hateful people is perfectly fine.

The Crazy

The Crazy is our Holy Spirit. The Crazy is our source of enlightenment. The Crazy is our Nirvana.

Much like Christians have both outside and within them a "Holy Spirit" we acknowledge and carry within us a spirit as well that we call not "The Holy Spirit" but "The Crazy Spirit." And much as a Budhist tries to reach a Nirvana of thought, we direct our world to things of the world that carry out The Crazy. We meditate on how any person or group of the world is crazy. By doing so we have an understanding of The Crazy, and that well enough explains itself.

But I will direct you into just how much the world is crazy, for better or worse. First let me inform you that there are two types of Crazy: the good positive kind, one kind hearted and happily existing. And the other kind, which is the stuff of rage and psychosis. For us to become the bad kind is to fall into hell. For us to bring about and come into the good kind is our heaven. Hell is the presence on Earth of the Bad Crazy. And oppositely the good crazy brings us into heaven. That Heaven made upon Earth.

You might find it surprising to know just how crazy humankind is. It helps to see this when you consider that everyone is so serious.. people are often a very, very serious kind of being. They fall deep into serious issues and do not let an hour go by while that one simple and seriously taken issue needs to be solved. This for us is seen as a game if we involve ourselves in them, too. Be serious while you are playing this game!

There are so many people watching TV right now of something entirely being pretended. Isn't that strange? They look at a box on a shelf with their eyes glued to it, believing they are watching something real, when they aren't. And the same goes for books.

There are people carefully calculating what they eat. A little healthy eating is never enough. They must know this well. They must find the most perfectly healthy way of eating. They go to politicians and demand a tax on that sugar.

There are people thinking very seriously right now. They've come across a problem most of us will find meaningless. But it worries them when they think about it. They can't help but to think about it. And all it is is like something that most people couldn't care less about.

And may the good spirit be upon you. May it loosens you up. May it take you a knot and untie it. May it liberate you. May you be more bold. May cowardly things be far removed by you, by me, by us all.

May the good spirit be with you and make you proud, no matter what. May you find people more welcomed by you, no matter how strange they are. And may we each one and all be liberated one and the other.

But there is a bad kind of crazy that is for us like a bitter tasting poison. It stains us. It restricts us, it pours into the good crazy and has people rage against crazy and us with it, even though we are not bad, but good. When bad crazy is seen we are all seen badly by those who were harmed by it and those purposefully against it's presence then on the whole.

People taking guns wanting to be a villain who would later fake being helplessly psychosis. Maybe that it so. That they are helpless in their abominable actions. But that they had a heart evil clinging to the hope of getting away from it by lying. By throwing themselves into the hands of psychiatrists, wanting to get away with murder.

These are False Witnesses among us. What is more accurately called False Accounts.

One person dresses up as Mickey Mouse in Disney World and makes us all happy. One person makes a game we all enjoy, thinking we've monopolized business (as in Monopoly.) Some tells jokes that make us laugh. And laughter itself is the opposite of logic. It is a breaking from it. Who knows what laughter is really but pure amusement. And it isn't such a mad world as a crazy one.

Do you need help.. yet?

Any problem that a psychiatrist can identify and help you with makes you qualified in receiving help, if you are burdened by something (such as depression or behavioral problems you wish to receive help in fixing.) You just need be in need of help regarding any mental health problem you have. And "Crazy is Crazy."

The DSM is very large. It lists numerous types of specifically identifiable mental health problem they are well trained at knowing and helping people with. You may have a pre exiting problem found in the DSM. Chances are you do. The chances are that if your problem is difficult on you that they know what is going on and can help you with it.

If you are depressed they may have a pill for you that makes you feel better. Or if you are anxious, if your nerves are shot, they have pills that fix that. And along with less common problems, from seizures to OCD. They've helped me with Schizophrenia. With Schizophrenia you are bound to get help sooner or later. You'd simply lost it when it developed. And they'd see this, your family, friends, may have to happen upon health. But hopefully Schizophrenic people are treated soon enough just by standing out. I was treated early, than God.

But if they haven't found the root of your problem specifically, it doesn't mean that you are untreatable. It does not mean your problem is irrelevant. It sure is. So if you have a bad crazy then reach out for the help you need.

The doctor has patients who were reasonably worried about something, and sometimes just came to her or him due to some paranoia. But the doctor doesn't tell his patient his time was wasted. He looks into it and determines whether or not something is wrong with him. If there isn't, the person is happy. And such people are just those that really value their lives and want no cancer to over ride their hope and happiness. The physical doctor has much advice that anyone could be helped by, such as for diet. The mental health doctor has good advice to bring you into a better feeling life, no matter who you are. And they can help you overall. In Crazyism the counselor are our sages.

Roses are red and violets are blue and don't take my roses away. Let us have things that make us happy. Giving gifts is a socially good standard among us. Give each other's things that are cheap but good. Things like kid's toys: glow sticks, water guns, kites, bubbles, coloring books, marbles, little green army men, dolls of all kinds, paper graph paper, pens color pens, markers, crayons, binders, stencils, and certainly stickers, cartoon paper plates, neat cups, cool childhood items of any kind

Let us congregate in Church and have so much to give others that everyone gets at least five things. Let our donations be spread out upon other members as things given. Share art work,

And make crafts in this Church. Listen to crazy music, like Aqua, like bubble gum pop music, like dance music of all kinds. Let it mock the seriousness of life to let us loose. Let's make Church much like a celebration each and every day. May the lights be dim, and let anyone who wishes to be hidden be so (in costume.)

Wherever you are in Church go ahead and place a sticker. Let us not have communion with bread and wine but with soda and candy. May everyone who attends this Church be given gifts from each other, proportionately, and for all a basket of candy. The one who runs the Church provide her or him money to live by. But s/he must provide the building as run it to these specifications.

Show cartoons on a large TV or screen. But more than that show films concerning mental I'll essentially or crazy things. Movies not info-wordy but that are entertainment. Provide a lesson through a sermon each time and have it pit on paper for people to leave with. That they be educational regarding what is well defined as Crazyism.

You and me baby ain't nothin but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel everyone likes sex. Well some more than others. For those that do Church can be a place to have sex. But any Church we make cannot have it within if there are children allowed in. And I don't mean in the same building or one beside it. If our Church sanctions orgies than it must be at least a mile away from any Church permitting any children inside. Don't take this lightly. Not doing so can put you into some hot water. You'd imagine the news about some crazy cult having done so. And just a few feet away were children. So separate the two well and far.

Truth or Dare is just the most natural thing for any crazy church. Being totally confessed.. well, the Catholics do it! And we have good reason to do so too, even if for entirely different reasons.. actually better reasons, too. We leave a sort of cage. We come to find no fault in us. We open a door to a room we've been trapped in. We who tell others are darkest possible secrets do not carry shame any longer, at least after it's said and done, with a little distance to follow, seeing nothing of your secrets any more are.

Religion is inherently crazy. The most common kind of crazy, in fact. Also the worst kind. But unlike bad crazy—suicide bombing for Allah, killing oneself with coolaid like the Jim Jones', David Koresh at Waco, the UFO cult. There they thought an asteroid was taking them to heaven and they had to kill themselves to ride it to heaven. Heaven's Gate Cult, it was called. The crazy bastards. David Koresh thought he was Jesus so he stockpiled an arsenal of high powers weapons. Grenades, rifles.. him and his followers convinced that Armageddon had begun.

We have got to find good crazy. Bad Crazy and religion go hand and hand. Crazy good or bad is inseparable from religion. But done carefully the bad may be separated and removed. It's honestly said that pretending to be Christ can be quite pleasant. We can act out the part. Maybe on someone's birthday they may come to Church as Jesus. Him or Her can lay on the front ground of the Church and be on a play pretend cross, not really tied down. And we can make a Christian sermon in a mocking way, exposing it as crazy.

All people who adhere specifically to a religion are crazy, there are no exceptions. They train their brain in such a way as to have an abnormally working process of thought. So would it be a leap to say that the Father of religion is crazy? These are good teach as to what is. By their spirit came very crazy things. You could even say that they each and all carried in them a crazy spirit. As crazy is crazy is made.

Being unable to know our environment well and it being such a mysterious thing as to make us question what comes after death. That we come across belief in magic to help us understand it. That gods come to be pictured. These things make religion naturally occur. And the gods must be crazy. The gods have set forth the stage on which we live having us performing the crazyest play that could be imagined. Then, to be crazy is to act for the gods and do what they want us to do.

God is the director. He made quite a ridiculous game for us to play. I say play a different game. Play the game you most enjoy. Be the crazy you most want to be. Break the rules. Make your own rules. And you'd be just like God! Have others play your game. Lead them into good things, though. Don't lead any unto mass suicide. You would be just what the gods have as entertainment.

But instead entertain the gods the best way that you can. Make a story. Just one completely made up. Very seriously and matter of fact way tell someone a spectacular story. Just such a thing that can be believed. Saying you knew a famous person isn't any good. They'd probably not believe you. Tell them something with more spice. Tell them that God gave a great vision to you and that you were a part of it.

I say be Jesus. I say be the Devil, or a prophet. Lying is the best thing in the world when it comes to talking to a religious adherent.

Probably the crazyest thing I ever did, and some other crazy things I say that people should try to be the number one person to have done the crazyest thing. Mine was that I went into the middle of a busy bustling crowd, here in downtown San Francisco, circled my arms around and sang very loudly, "When you wish upon a Star." I had decided while I was homeless in a time of a year to take it as an opportunity to become entirely uninhibited around people.. and I had the public to do so with, all the time. I think this can be likened in our religion as a baptism, of being saved.

And just as Christianity has people possessed.. a practice of exorcism.. we have ourselves possessed by foreign spirits. This is something I know well and it is a lot of fun. It feels good. I call what I do Personality Snatching. I act one given way. That is my "Regular Person," but I have "Foreign Personas" enter into my mentality and mood. I pretend to be someone else, like a detective, a Scottish person, or like an animal, a cat, a mouse, a snake. But the animal ones are more like what such a cartoon character would be (such as Mickey Mouse or Top Cat.)

I'm suddenly a detective on a mission. I suddenly have the attitude of being on an agenda. I am suddenly someone whose personality well suits any purpose at hand. I can even embark on a quest, no matter how trivial. And hearing music boom from a business, start dancing like a baby (I used to do this to a business that repetitively played the song you're the one.)

And to bring our religion about as religions are, but differently, we have our own elves possessed. But it sure does remove our demons. Well unless you are embodying yourself as something vile. Which is fine, it's all in fun and games. Who really needs to summon a demon when they can become one. It isn't like we need their powers these days. Science lets us do things we couldn't possibly have imagined doing before—so in one way you can call this summoning demons. More accurately it is summoning spirits, though.

Like with all things there is good and bad in mental illness. And it can be important to know. By knowing you can put into action there positive traits and reduce the negative ones. I'm not posing a cure. But maybe due to mental illness you are left finding it a totally bad thing, even hopeless. But there is good in you regarding it, even, and maybe by using that you can even be proud.

First here is a general list of positive traits:

Schizophrenia—I list the one I have, first. I know it through and through. I've come to the understanding that the voices I hear when I am not on pills that voices are just hallucinations. But they aren't. They are too real seeming. They are too much like spirits when I hear them. Most of the time perfectly identifiable as demons. And during an episode it is demons that I hear. I see them too. More often I see visions, things that are strikingly presented me. Like after the habit I had of looking at the stars. I'd look at three stars for an astrology using understanding regarding my family. And one night looking up they were gold. Those three that we're triangular. I don't like to kiss and tell but I have seen many visions and communicated with God, Jesus, The Devil, and Fallen Angels while I was going through a schizophrenic episode. My worst one. One that lasted about two years. So that is a good thing but the bad probably outweighs it.

While I am Schizophrenic my perception is also better. In some ways. I am more sensitive to things. For regular people a lot is never much. But Schizophrenia makes me much more sensitive than them. Whereas a little is much, for good or bad. Soda tastes like acid. One night while I was Schizo I had a can of tuna fish and I opened it up savoring it as much as a cat, drinking the water in it and especially liking that. My taste sense is heightened. My smelling, too. I loved good smelling things. I'd put powdered clothe detergent all over my carpet, making a thick layer. In hearing music came across incredibly deep. It was like a person who is involved in music half way in a dream. What can I say? How can I describe it? Not much more than by saying that music, and TV, too, sounded deep.. rich.. and moving. During Schizophrenia I was enraptured my music, euphoric. Though I don't take drugs, music sounded better to me in these times than they would for anyone who is high, I imagine, certainly close if not better.

OCD is a trait that the best people have, those most productive and successful. Redundancy is in practice by them, which can be very good. Redundancy should not be a dirty word. People with OCD are sure that there doors are always locked. They have many locks. They are more careful in their daily routine. Their hands are very clean. They are often just people who do not want to get sick, attacked, broken into, and removing from their hands any dirty thing. There are actually people quite the opposite of these. Let's consider them.

People that are the opposite of those with OCD could take a crap and not wash there hands. They carry germs on their hands from the dirtiest places. They leave their car unlocked. They let anyone in. They are unable to do any one thing more than a few times. They are more prone to harm, whether from their selves or others.

I used to be severely OCD in a particular way. OCD is claimed by many. Like said by those whom are careful with locking their door or some minor thing that resembles OCD but is not that bad comparatively. But I am telling you I had OCD severely. In fact it made my mental illness about the worst it could be otherwise. It went hand in hand with my schizophrenia, making it worse. What happened with me, like a thing of OCD? I would draw an image day and night I had gone through 500 sheets of printer paper over night. I just couldn't draw that I'm age right! I had a you yang tail. An udjat eye. A lightning bolt tongue. A crown. Phoenix wings. These, as a dragon.

That was one thing I was trying to carefully but impossibly perfect. But also I had such proud over what I said that I would repeat what I said in my mind ceaselessly. My every thought day and night was a thought of what I said, some little thing in truth, but something I was proud of, to no end. It is very well and much like OCD caused my Schizophrenia.

My advice is that what you are doing is both good and bad. I understand how you can become severely trapped into doing one thing over and over again. And I'm not really here for advice, but just to inform.

Mania and Depression my cousin slew herself. She committed suicide with a gun. And due to depression I attempted suicide, too, a few times. The first time I assumed that if I'd cut my wrist deep enough I'd surely bleed to death, even before I could make it to the hospital. But it didn't bleed so badly even though my cut was deep and later requiring stitches. I'd done that twice. The first time was with a sharp knife. The second time I took cutting sheers and swiped it across my wrist quickly and powerfully. And almost lost my hand because of it. Was very close to have doing so, because if you cut your wrist bad enough you break the nerve, or whatever it is, that will require amputation.

There had been two times I consumed poisons. I drank Clorox bleach and sprayed Raid and oven cleaner in my mouth. And I drank a bottle of rubbing alcohol but I survived. Mania is probably the best mental illness you could have, at least comparatively. It can be exhilarating I suppose. It makes you burn the midnight oil. Like as happens, OCD can make something otherwise tolerable, not so. That was a thing that the movie Prozac Nation addressed. It was a true story of a writer who couldn't write perfectly enough and toiled day and night, which is something I can relate to. Mania is excitement, mania is engaging. And mania is bright. I actually don't have much bad to say about it. Just keep OCD detached from it.

Depression at least let's you cry. Some tears feel good. It is a sensation that people like. It isn't painful. It is a mood, not an injury on the flesh. Of course though there is a painful kind of crying. The best though is self imposed by self pity while engaged in just the right song to make it happen. That was something I had did often up until a few years ago. And it has been a few years since I cried. I guess I have nothing to pretend any more. I guess I came to the reality that self pity only comes from the self.

Crying may be bad, but nihilism is worse. And nihilism is a worse depression than self pity. Actually self pity isn't a bad thing, but hopelessness and nihilism, or the loss of someone you love, assures that we will all grieve at least a handful of times during our lives.

Sociopathy and Borderline not that they are the same but I am referring to them separately. A sociopathic individual has a black heart. I myself had such a heart when I was barely a teenager, even having started at age 11. I was so because I was a Devil Worshipper, a Satanic Devil Worshipper engrossed into things known as "Satanic Panic Material." That includes things like heavy metal, the likes of Slayer and Danzig, Morbid Angel for most part in what caused in me psychosis. A psychotic person I list here too, come to think about it. When I was a teenager I was murderous. But I never crossed that line. It was a line I was trying to blur, so to speak. But it was a line I never crossed. And good because if I had I'd been arrested and even could have been in prison to this day.. without my parents.

But I'd written someone from a heavy metal magazine Metal Maniacs, at a time before the internet, looking hard and good for Satanists (Satanists like myself) and wrote a letter to a person from it saying I wanted to kill my parents. By the good grace of God my letter was automatically returned. I guess I didn't write the address down right. But by the good grace of God it was returned and my parents read it. They contacted the people of the State Mental Hospital who told them they are ready for me and my parents could take me there any time they wanted.

My parents told me this. And I cried. And I snapped out of it. Quickly, and fully, I snapped out of it. I saw my mother cry. I heard her grief, and I was no longer psychotic. I am Schizophrenic but that is not the same thing as being psychotic or sociopathic. Schizophrenia gives you delusional, grandiosity, paranoia, and hallucinations. It is not a thing defined as people who want to kill or harm anyone. Schizophrenic people usually wind up in mental hospitals. They don't know what they are doing. They live in a fantasy world where vices are always demanding they do bad things. And they are a kind of people that really believe the president is the anti Christ, or people are plotting to harm the and they've got to protect themselves. So the difference between these is far and wide.

Unless you want to go to jail or prison, or hell, or life as hell, then be careful not to cross the line. That line could be easily crossed. You have got to control yourself and just learn to hold back from people that hurt you. One especially bad day could come for you and you'd beaten to death someone. Doesn't that sound extremes in any case? But it does happen. Especially by those who can't hold their tongue or keep their head low. Even if you don't kill someone you could assault the first person that bothers you just wrong enough, and one moment you are on top of him hitting him and the next the police come and you are arrested. One day you may have had a McDonald's burger and then a smoke and someone at the bus stop makes you angry, you hurt him, are possibly arrested and then what I'd your food the next morning? Potatoes. Plain, salt less potatoes without butter. Oatmeal without any flavor or sugar, every lunch either peanut butter or bologna. With a tiny piece if mustard. And a warm little bitty milk. All day in a metal bed with a thin cushion and if you are lucky you can watch baseball on TV.

It has just got to stop. It just requires that you not cross the line hurting, killing, robbing. You may be very well convinced you've gotten away with it. The day after, afraid, a few months later, confident you did. But then comes a loud knock on the door. A loud pounding. And with warrant your door busted down. You are cuffed, put in the car, and moved to a cage for the next 5, 10, 15, or more years of your life, even until death.

You may hate the person you killed. But these people have mother's and father's, brothers or sisters that do. That should be considered. But I do acknowledge on your part that some people really do deserve to be corrected—even beaten. Such as a man that hit your sister. Yeah he deserves a real pounding. Someone that molests your kid? They deserve to be murdered. I cannot and will not advice that you do. You would be in trouble, I would, too. But this is moral based fights. These fights are moral. They are just times that a man must just choose what he needs to do. It is different. You are the good guy they are the bad guy, you know? So it's not my place in such cases to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. I have no place to do so. That is your place.

But there are some people that are truly despicable. People that harm kids or the elderly. People that hang others on a rope just because of their race, the racistly hateful, any one who murders someone innocent, wife beaters, people who just love to deal harm. One of the worst things I've seen and it hits me hard, was of a biker gang following a man in a car who did nothing. They chased him for miles. And as soon as he stopped they took a helmet and busted out his window and seriously assault him. Oh God, have your vengeance!

My Top Ten Movies About Mental Illness

10. A Beautiful Mind—This is the best movie to many but it was a movie I didn't like as much as the other nine. In this movie a man, a mathematician, rapidly develops Schizophrenia and his world is thrown into fantasy and madness. He sees things that aren't there, people whom he associates with top secret governmental projects. His wife struggles alongside him and he goes back and forth into madness due to not taking his medication.

9. The Aviator—This is certainly my favorite movie about OCD. I liked it better than another good OCD movie called "As Good as it Gets." In fact I'd not like to leave that one out of the list. But the Aviator was my favorite between the two. A man in this movie is hired to create a certain plane for the government but finds perfection is keeping him from a final product. This was a true story.

8. Dark Side of the Moon—Pink Floyd really knew well how to symbolize mental illness. This movie is based on his record with the same name. It runs the course of a person with a lot of potential but his upbringing plagued his mental health later in life. And though he has so much potential he stood at the mercy of psychiatric doctors who couldn't cure him.

7. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest—a really good movie and the one at which the list begins to become very good. This movie has its main character lying in order to skip out of work, trying to stay in a mental hospital, one he faked himself into. But it comes back on him, hard.

6. Angel Baby—This movie is about the struggle between a Schizophrenic girl and her baby. A very good movie.

5. Benny and Joon—Is a story about a schizophrenic girl who is living with her brother and receiving treatment. She needs a lot of treatment. She's strange in the way a Schizophrenic person would be. She meets someone she becomes close to and the movie is more light hearted than any others on the list.

4. I Never Promised You a Rose Garden—You may know that was a song as well, though the song and movie aren't related. This was one of the best movies about mental illness but also one of the more difficult to find, as it was a made for TV movie. It is more grim that modern movies about mental health, mental illness. It was set in the sixties, I believe. And is a true story. It involves a girl that was committed, and her time there.

And more accurately I'd make number 4 and 3 equal.

3. Stateside—this was another true story. It was about a female singer that when she became a young adult Schizophrenia struck her. She tries dating a Marine and to see him but finds it difficult with him coming and going, and a group home that doesn't welcome him. It is often silly and I could even see how it can be an embarrassing kind of representation to Schizophrenia, bit the movie is still a good one.

2. Prozac Nation—now that was a movie good through and through. Another true story, but this one about a bipolar person, a woman from Harvard, learning to write. Her manic behavior is both manic and compulsive and she is obviously depressed. Her relationship with her mother is Rocky, who just asks too much of her.

  1. Girl Interrupted—Certainly number one on my book! Girl Interrupted was yet another true story. This one involves a woman who took a whole bottle of aspirin and had her stomach pumped. Afterward she was put into a mental hospital for a year and made many crazy friends, including a sociopath—a very heartless person. They engage in things they shouldn't during the movie, for the most part, breaking the rules, and even escaping for a few days. It is just a fun portrayal of a mental hospital and daily life inside one.

The Crazy Pleasure of Conspiracy Theories

Among the crazier but the more stable kind of it—meaning to chase a cloud and find a rainbow. To chase the rainbow and find treasure—people with conspiracy theories go many good and fun places. And they are places only truly known by them. One goes in the direction she or he wants when doing so. And some have even found a pot of gold, the ark of the covenant, Excalibur, a UFO, though no one believes them. Few, if any.

It is a story that you create. That story is prepared by you ahead of time. It is a story where you would have it go and be. It is a belief, one amusing, entertaining, serious or captivating.

And your heart must be in it. You must be involved. And even if you find nothing grand it is grand what else was found, unearthed, removed from a tomb. And some people actually do solve the mystery. It has been suggested just recently that bones found on an uninhabited island were the remains of an early aviator named Earhart. Sometimes these are just mysteries to be solved. And any mystery may be solved, whether found to be true or false. And I am sure sometimes the solved mystery has a strikingly astonishing answer to it.

Whatever your quest shall be and whatever research you wish to do document well. These things are valuable to some. Many many kinds of movies, literature, videos, and such made from them sell well. But keep it authentic, because that's the best part, the part most fun.

Playing Dress Up.. Playing Doctor

Kids do this all the time. People continue to into adulthood, and some older adults do, too. People dress as goths, some as vampires, and I've even seen a pirate. Some men have the fetish to dress as a woman, fully in dress, pinky flowers. And I've got to just accept it. Which I do. In the Church if say it goes like this: lower ranking people, the stage hands, just dress normally. But let it be quick and easy enough to reach the next highest rank. That they are made to dress normally isn't so bad. And they can ease themselves into dressing more elaborately.

The higher ranking members should be very elaborately and liberally dressed. Just by standing out they've be identifiable. There are a lot of resources—a lot of examples to dress any given desired way. They include things from games and movies, most of all. This is good. It's better than any other Church that would have you strictly dressed. It had it coming. I was kicked out of a Church while homeless for being wet from the rain. And they said don't let him sit with us to eat, give him a bagged lunch (of a peanut butter sandwich and cookie.)

Maybe two dressed alike could get together. They don't just have to associate with others bearing their mental illness. Maybe it would be better association if based on one costume to the other. Just plain and simple—people doing this are showing others a favorite thing and tastes are laid right out.

Destruction

I say something that makes more sense when I say that "venting" anger doesn't help anything. In fact those that do are teaching thereselfs to be angry and lack the ability to calm down. Does a person destroying his own plates remove his anger? That's ridiculous. Rather teaching that anger is resolved within ones thinking, changing their attitude, finding better perspective towards things they resolve anger good and well. They've taught their selves how.

No More "I Love You's"

It is the experience of love that feels good. It is longing after someone, wanting them, imagining them in their lives and to proudly have a partner that make love what it is. I mean with how limited other emotions are: if you get angry you do not have such a pile of good things to think and have come about. If you are angry—what? Hurt the person? That's how limited that emotion is. If you feel sympathy—what? Help the person? But as you can see love involves many good things that other emotions don't. Other emotions bring about a much narrower set of things, mostly things of no meaningful good.

In my early years I was a bleeding heart kind of kid. A teenager, and into early adulthood, nothing mattered to me more than what I loved and wanted to be loved by. In seeking in idealizing in the try in wanting a person occupied a lot of my thinking. Again, if you are angry you don't want anything but bad for someone else, pure and simple. But love involves wanting another in your life whom you can share an ego, your spirit, lust, life, and possibly have children with. Love leads to life and anger leads to death.

Love songs meant a lot to me back then. But the older you get the further you are removed from these. The older you are the less you care to find a relationship, or at least the less you are looking around for one and thinking about it. That time was past due for me. And I'm glad I never had children. I think my books are a better child—they say just what I want them too and represent me well. They are not the seed of my balls but the seed of my mind. They'll probably live much longer than any son or daughter I'd have. It could be said why not have both? But I wouldn't have the time for both.

I don't listen to love songs anymore. I come across them and kind if think they are sissy music. It has nothing I am looking for. They are very meaningless to me. They used to make up most of what I listened to. Now it's the least: and I listen to nearly every genre.

Homelessness

Some of us are brought into hysteria by very abusive people. Others are made abusive themselves, even becoming "sociopathic." Some of us were caught up into bad influences. And others were just brought up wrong like by a stringent Christian parent

Worst of all we are made hysterical by both someone we lived with and the public itself. Such as a girl who leaves an abusive home young and is then turned into a prostitute, like to be one that is harshly abused.

So the streets are littered with the homeless that have come into that place by such things. Mental Illness and homelessness go hand in hand. So that is one issue regarding the mentally ill and the upper class public who want them off the sidewalk because their kid is trying to eat his ice cream.

The rich are never crazy. They aren't deemed nuts. They are just deemed eccentric. They have every good thing they could possibly want. Yet they are given great power to have the police and politicians to shuffle them around. Shelters are not a solution. That is just putting together people whose lives are miserable. There are bed bugs. And the shelters are out if the way. You'd have to go all across town to get your bed and have to wait hours before your name is called and you can go in.

They don't let the homeless put up tents in the middle of nowhere, they could just put up mini homes, or a place next to a bathroom, with minimal up keep. The solutions are simple but the tax dollars go elsewhere, primarily shelters. Homelessness is the top social issue that the mentally ill have not found a solution to.

Phases of Crazy.. Crazy to Have Grown up

Children will believe anything. They have to. They can't understand things, comprehending them, on a more than simple basis. They think that there are people in the TV. They think that there is a Santa Claus. The Easter Bunny, a man on the moon, a monster in their closet. They've yet to come to terms with reality and to be able to make sense as to how electronics work.

It was a fascinating time. No doubt. Video game consoles for me, were astonishing, mesmerizing. I used to go to people's homes wanting to get onto their computer, if they had one, and I looked. We'd drive by McDonnald's and my heart was racing hoping we'd stop at this place, or that.

But it was really as a teenager that you picked fantasies and learned how to form them. You got well at forming them. And it was easy enough to make yourself believe that certain things were so: like magic/ witch craft, vampire/ demons/ the apocalypse/ religion in general/ and ghosts. I imagine this is true for everyone. It was true for me and all of my contemporaries/ peers. I was absorbed in the books of Anne Rice and very involved with the movie Interview With the Vampire

And actually I had a good reason to believe these things, maybe not vampires, though. I mean, where are all the bodies drained of blood? That's never even once on the nightly.. weekly... yearly news.

I say in the spirit of being crazy to recapture these things the best you can. Because to even take little pieces of them is good. And let people have their stories. And just believe.

Finding the capability to believe is a good virtue to have.

Sometimes we don't really know who each other are. We as a people in whole have many thousands of different groups. Like goths, gangs, Muslim, Christian, singers, poets.. you name it. We know our own group fairly well and what to expect. But people are as different as much as can be.

Our people, the Mentally Ill, don't have our own culture yet, but I will make one soon enough. First the more rudimentary things. I plan on writing at least 10 books on Crazyism, so stay with me. I have below seven signs to identify each other with. I will expand on these later, making more symbols for more conditions.

A Bitter Sweat Home

Being in a mental hospital for a short time, or for a year, is both a good and bad place to be. You can be sure you will be made to take medication and with it you are sure to sleep and very likely to improve. They will either give you hospital clothes which range from paper like to thin pajama like tops and bottoms. Women can't wear bras because they could hang their selves with them. The same goes for shoelaces. And the doors are sometimes angled that if someone tried to hang themselves on them they couldn't, the rope would slide off.

The furniture is either too heavy to move, at all, or too light and plastic to hurt someone with. The food is good in most mental hospitals but their have been some food altogether inedible in my experience, such as rubbery pieces of pig intestine. You never get your own room. Sometimes there are four people and I've been in one that had eight in one room. You do get a bed.

The isolation room is not so forceful as would be in incarceration. They will not keep you in their for too long. Once during an episode I had been put into isolation. My medication hadn't yet adjusted me into being non Schizophrenic, and inside I thought I had just been locked up for eternity. That it was the last place I'd ever be and that was scary.

I had certainly made good friends inside, especially meet some attractive and compelling women. As for the men I had gotten into fights with frequently. I had struck someone and was pinned down by a staff person, whom I would have taken but when I saw it was a staff of the hospital I was fighting I let loose. People can be pissy in that place. I couldn't control my self, was very paranoid sometimes that these people around me, who were just the same as me, we're unpredictable. Sex is easy coming in these places but I've always held back not wanting to get someone pregnant, getting an STD, or being accused of rape from a crazy gal. And it was just something I didn't caught doing and one time it was also because the woman was married. I have strongly valued principles against dating of making it with the married. One time a woman came right into my room and put herself on top of me. I told her to leave. And one time a woman told me her husband couldn't please her, so.. Other times we were just attracted to each other, but things like that in these places aren't practical. Everyone has someone, maybe except a few people. Men treat each other's as two bulls sometimes. One guy I tried talking to abruptly stopped me and fumed "don't ever talk to me again!"

They always give you a snack before meds. Sometimes they are good. In some of the places I went they weren't any real good, just a small granola bar. They are kind of tight and I find it offensive when they give you a cup of Crystal Light the size of a whiskey shot glass.

Showers are set up so that you ask for a little soap and a little shampoo. They either give you a little bottle or put it in a tiny cup. They give you a towel and you go in. The doors are usually locked and you just go inside to clean yourself. They even give you shaving razors while they watch you shave, or some places give you your very own electric shaver, with either interchangeable heads or that let you keep it for sanitary purposes. Electric shavers are usually the case.

The food is always in a line, obviously. And some places have really good food. The best food I had was at a mental hospital in Roswell, New Mexico, where you could order things the day before as though it was a restaurant. The food included hamburgers and coffee, good ones, or a cup of hot chocolate. You can put in the menu "x 2" and you'd get double. But in the same state, in Las Vegas New Mexico (yes there is a Las Vegas in NM) they had items like cheesecake and cakes and a soda fountain! I would try to get away with as much as I can, like six glasses of soda. It was a doesn't hurt if you try kind of thing.

That same hospital had a modern video game console at the gym. A very nice gym with towering walls where good music pumped loudly through large speakers. There was also a fooz ball table there. And that same hospital had a library, which there are always a shelf of books to read. I've been in two hospitals that had a library of them.

The one in Roswell had three or four snack times daily. You could get a small ice cream, a cheese sandwich, or a medium size cup of Sprite. That same place had coffee at all hours. Set beside it was packets of sugar and cream.

I had spent a year at the California State Psych Hospital in Napa. Every Holliday was celebrated there. During Halloween they played songs over the intercom like Monster Mash and Addams Family music. We got a full size Snickers bar and some other candy food. During Christmas we got much more, a full size body wash, a mug, and some other things. On Thanks Giving we had a full meal of the usual stuff. And on one's birthday we all got a cake.

There was a commissary at Napa, meaning you could order food weekly to receive weekly, a few days later. Week by week you could order up snacks. And I was given enough money each week to get a lot of things, using freely provided money. But I got there at the wrong time because a selfish asshole made it where we couldn't have sugary items or soda. They had a machine. You could turn your money into quarters and get a very icy cold soda. But a selfish and bossy person halted it. Believe me he didn't care, he just wanted to push off rules on us. He was always irritable and angry.

There is always a thing called groups in mental hospitals. In Roswell if you didn't go to groups you couldn't smoke. You could smoke four times a day, two cigarettes at a time in Roswell, but only if you go to every single group, of which there are six or more an hour each. Unless my math's a little off. A "group" is a meeting where a psychologist teaches about mental health, at least most of the time. Some times it is just joining together to listen to music or do art.

In Roswell you go outside to smoke or you could just walk around four times a day. In Napa California you just go outside in a fenced area, but you can't smoke, so there's no reason to go to group( ). It is usually a fenced in area and ranges from small to spacious. One place I was at, a hospital in Albuquerque, New Mexico, had no outside area. One in Amarillo Texas I was in had such a small area it was more like going into a closet.

Las Vegas Hospital in New Mexico gave me new clothes good clothes. Like denim jeans, colorful long sleeve shirts, and a good jacket. Even new shoes that were attractive. I was Schizo thinking the fact that the shoes were black and white symbolized gray which symbolized my new rule which symbolized.. Every time I freshly went into any mental hospital I was suffering from Schizophrenia and it was a remarkable experience to one day be clouded by Schizophrenia and that fog slowly but totally lift.

At Napa in California I was given clothes too, which often didn't fit. They were plain, one color, one style, tan "nude" kind of colored. You couldn't get a regular belt. Someone could hang their selves. So you used a short Velcro strip to connect together two loops in your belt.

Just for the fact that you could carry around a pocket radio made Napa the best hospital I'd been in. I could listen to a radio and walk around all day. Another place, I can't remember where that one was, but they had a small set of headphone radios that you were expected to only use a short time. Naturally people hid them. And it was more trouble than what is was worth because of complaints fostered by the staff. But at Napa in California you could have your own radio. I had one on me when I was sent there, fortunately. One can be ordered at Napa if you had the money. And for my birthday and Christmas I asked for radios from my dad, just to have them. And also because my regular one was acting up.

One despicable thing was that I ordered a set of earbuds from the commissary because my regular headphones broke. And when I received it some mysterious person cut the wire on them to have just one ear bud, the other side one snipped off. Still makes me think what a despicable thing to do.

On the whole they are alright places. A place you wouldn't mind being but not for too long. I am going to talk about group homes next which I have a lot of experience in, too. These things I said about mental hospitals damn well paint just about a perfect picture of what they are like.

Group Homes

Group homes.. I didn't knew they existed until I absolutely needed one. I had been homeless for a year and incarcerated. Then out of nowhere I was put into a place I'd long thought was just a myth. A group home? I'd been homeless for a year. But only the most needing are put in them.

One that I'd been in here where I live in San Francisco, had groups (meetings teaching about mental health and mental improvement) had them five hours out of the day from 8:30 in the morning into the afternoon. They taught and taught and you listened and listened and tried to get out for a smoke, where it was that you had a fifteen minutes break between them. But that was just one group home I was in.

The one after, from which I very well type, only has group for thirty minutes on the morning beginning at 10 in the morning. There may be a cooking group here and there but that only lasts about 20 minutes. And there are outings as to movies, a park or beech. Lately I've been staying home and not going. I have a few weeks left here.

Some you can only be in for 90 days, as the place I was before. And some, like here, you can be in a year, like here.

Everyone cooks and every one does chores in them, wherever they be. Today happens to be my cooking day. Every other week I make hamburgers with vegie burgers on the side, and every other week pizza. That's what I chose to make week by week. The food in these places are rich people food. You'll find name brand things and the best of the best kind of foods. Not cheap grease but olive oil in a gallon tub. Real butter, cream cheese, strawberries and cherry berries. I didn't grow up eating that way at least. We never had enough milk and used margarine, not butter. We have enough meats to feed a tiger. People are free to make expensive meals each day. Some make ribs, others more simple things. Some spend all day on it, though it ain't that great. When I cook pizza I get 8 boxes of stuffed crust pizza Then, there are 16 people here but then again only about ten are ever here to eat. Some people here leave to get fast food. Usually using their parents money.

And you can come and go when you want. Except past curfew. Curfew is 11 pm here. Today is a good day for me because on Friday and Saturday curfew is at 12, midnight. And on Saturday and Sunday there are no groups at all. Taking medication has to be any time before curfew even if you are doing so at the last minute. I do not like sleeping. I sleep like a baby each and every night. But I don't like to sleep. I want the day to go on and continue. I had gotten a lot of writing done and have a few hours to do whatever, then comes the time I've got to get into bed, no longer doing anything but laying there. I am on my phone in my room for an hour or two, turn it off, and rise in the morning. If it is a weekday they will knock on your door for 10 o clock group. I have to force myself up but I always do.

You share your room with one other person.

There is a TV room whichever group home you are in. People generally take more control over the TV than others. And there is a small handful of people watching it as opportunity arises. The seats are cushioned fake leather chairs and couches, comfortable.

There is an area to smoke. Laws against public smoking have become very strict, to the point of paranoia. So you either go to the curb in these places or go into a corner around the back of the house.

Chores are very simple though most people don't fo them. Most of them makes little difference like daily vacuuming. Being that the floor is apparently clean and you might have to do a little bit of sweeping to have it pass. But as for some things like taking out the trash or cleaning the bathroom, they are noticed not to have been done.

The staff are around all the time and you may have an occasional conversation with them but most of the day people are watching TV, eating and doing their own things. If you need into the locked food, the pantry, you ask to get into it. They are just there though to keep everything orderly which it usually is, though I've seen a few fights. Actually though it was just one person getting into a fight.

All in all they are a nice place to be. The only thing I'd change would be to have more privacy, like my own bedroom and to somehow not have to be around people day and night. It is my privacy that I miss. And the times that staff are bossy and rude, which sometimes they can make me angry. But the benefits of having a home to live in compared to being homeless.. I've got no complaint and I fulfill my responsibilities here as well as I can.

The Next Best Thing to Medication is Meditation. I use the term very broadly. It can mean to think what other people are thinking, coming to think about perspectives and perspective. It can be to look on the bright side of things. To examine that even your problems aren't, that in fact they can be good things in some certain way. I use the term meditation to refer to visualizing, which is my own favorite meditation. I will put on music and close my eyes, visualizing things, using my mind in a way that it couldn't be, normally, regularly. I go to special ways of picturing things during visualization.

It often happens to me that I have just one good thought that I really like. Such as today is Friday! And I can think about this periodically during the day and it makes me feel good. In fact by the time that the thought is no longer special I've already come across another one like today we are having hamburgers!

I have a thing I used to call textural. These later came to be called Memes by others. I like certain scenes in 2D games (most often 2d but sometimes 3d.. especially from Zelda and Final Fantasy. One such "textural" I like, maybe the first one I had came unto me when I was at a video game store and I saw the box of a Zelda game with the scene of Link entering a cave with a sage who had a sword and told him "It is dangerous to go alone. Take this." I say it's textural with us, and scriptures for them. And remember I said that.

I also like to "meditate" on moving scenes from video games, and also movies. Certain parts of a game or movie, I mean , I like to think about them. I like to piece things together. For example where one idea was used in one game or movie but differently in another. Concurring Themes, I call them.

On the whole I piece them together to bring up powerful visions. The more I think of them the more parts I have to strong together. These with me are a resource of diabolical visions. I use any thing in these games or movies and creatively make them iniquitous in my mind, a little more evil than they are, and a little more than that. It certainly helps me with thinking on the dark side of things as this but evil.

In Honor of the Manic, Celebrate Night and Day imagine such a celebration, a festivity that only the most manic could appreciate. In Honor of the spirit of it, let us revel day and night.

A place in the out doors. A place with live music from an appropriately sized group of musicians. Sometimes stories being told at night beside a camp fire. A place with a lake beside, where people of the group may go swimming when they want. Music played night and day, people wandering off, but remaining close by. A place, time, and way of fully enjoying life.

People there can sleep when they want. They could sleep for just an hour, or a few hours. Then they can awake, even in the middle of the night, to continue to hear good, lively music, and eat, or sit by a fire where stories are told. And there would be food. And there would be beer. There would be times to sleep. There would be times to be awake.

And the food brought by someone appointed, by a few appointed, and cooked over the fire and there will be abundant and good food to eat.

Creativity I have good advice about creativity, really. Most people who create things do so as crafts that have a specific pre instructed design. That isn't creativity. That is creating something for someone else. Good creativity comes from putting pieces together your self. It is very easy, too. Actually this way is both more fun and easy, to bring together the pieces yourself.

Most rudimentary just think of any two or so things you think would go good together. This can be like straws and thread, which if you have the patience for you could make a curtain with. Or maybe you just want something that looks good—like made by wide clear tape and blank CDs with playing cards, all taped together. Of course those are my ideas. I provide them as examples.

I've seen someone making a purse from duct tape. I created a brief case with duct tape. Or maybe you just might want to embellish something, adding stickers. I love stickers. For me stickers, stencils, graph paper, rubber stamps, old stamps no longer a collectable after I get them, a trapper keeper, and such is a perfectly good way to make a book.

They Were Bullied

At least some of the time those that are badly bullied will go on a killing spree. Is that so difficult to imagine? People that are bullied are the most likely to kill themselves. And some do, others kill others. And some kill others and then themselves. After people have bullied her or him for many years they will are likely to take a gun to school or work and shoot every body up.

Then they treat him like a monster. They regard him as someone who did something monstrous. But for him it wasn't such a long leap to make. If it never warms up after winter a person could do but one thing and kill those in spring. They see before them lively happy people. What's worse is that those that trod all over him or her are enjoying it! They may even tell him why don't you just kill yourself Martin? And where did you get that f*****g name? I bet your father molests you." People never look much into how bad the lives are for certain people. They just don't care. But to consider it for any small amount of time one could conclude the very hell in which they live goes on daily, and is inescapable.

If our Mental Illness kind of Church is going to be truly relevant then these things must be acknowledged: that some people are broken, torn, abused, bullied, shred apart and tossed aside as garbage and we of this Church for the Mentally Ill must do all we can to be good, non judgmental friends for them. If then there is a thing of heresy among us it would be to bully anyone.

I don't at all suggest we be an over pouring fountain of love. That is a formula for disaster, in fact. But I simply state that not judging others or hatefully trash talking, being hateful in general, be isolated and removed among us and that our strongest virtue be not to judge others in a prosecutory way. And to be friends to those who have none.

A Church that educates others about mental Illness where it is you would find scores of pamphlets handed out about God or Allah and pamphlets containing biblical scripture, the Church of Mental Illness sends out their own, just differently, and these are pamphlets that educate about mental illness. Much of our biblical material isn't about God or Buddha's teachings, not at all, bit are psychological in nature. We should invest time in the more obscure stuff that never got to see development. We should gather some together acting as scientists trying to understand the spiritual nature of mental illness.

We have testimonies just like other Churches but in ours we present the way in which we experienced our conditions in the past, and to try to provide structure in a religious setting.

Movies can be presented in the Church that educate its members about mental illness. These shouldn't be too dulling, too boring. So they should be more movie than documentary. It can be a place of research for some. Some who are venturing out into the fields of psychiatry could attend this Church and get first hand experience from us. It can be a good place for upcoming or seasoned psychologists to get a first hand perspective from us.

However this is legal let it be as fully about as it could.

A Church that Gives Back it is sure that providing some sort of gifts to hard working people in the fields of psychology can be well presented. Whether these are thank you notes, an award, even a trophy can be given them based on mutual appreciation. We've seen Churches that provide rewards for their output and input. And likewise we do the same just in a different way.

These should be more rewarding than giving something just very commonly given. At least on a somewhat rare basis they are. Not too rarely, either. But I'm sure it could be done up to once a month. They shouldn't be cheap trophy's and that's another reason why it couldn't be done too often. In fact maybe there should be more mid level expense trophies and ones of greater value once a year. There could be letters of thanks sent out often though especially to doctors in the community, signed by all of the Churches members, with a brief message such as on a card with maybe a ribbon inside. It shouldn't be underestimated how good this could make a doctor feel.

Things we cannot do: let me be clear for both of our names that we cannot operate as unlicensed counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, or doctors. Not even if what we do is mostly spiritual based. Without a doctorate degree and such we cannot do things indicative of a psychiatric profession. I do not know what all is entailed in this. We could be just generally limited, really. But take the time to know what our church legally can and can't do in regards to applications of psychology on it's members. Our Church is unique that it is based on Mental Illness. But it is based on Mental Illness, not application of things such as therapy and diagnosing others, or other such things you must be legally qualified to do.

And an especially important point to make: do not provide "medication" in any form, not even Saint John's Wart. Whether it be herbal based or chemical, or whatever else, do not provide these as medicines for any one. You can educate others about research that has been done using them. But you cannot physically provide them. For example it can be said "This supplement has been said by some to help them" but do not provide them. That may as well be taking the role of a psychiatric doctor prescribing medication, something you absolutely cannot do unless you are an actual psychiatrist. But even if you are, the Church may not be used in which to do so.

Even then we are not really very limited in what we can do. The things we can do are good and useful. In fact they probably matter more. We have the work removed from us and can have the Church to provide better things for it's members and let the doctors do there work apart from us. See, we still have the doctors we need, individually, out side the Church. There wouldn't be any reason to need them specifically in our Church. Even though it isn't in our church we each still have them as a resource.

Much Like a PSR a PSR is basically a group ran by psychologist professionals who bring together the mentally ill and do fun, creative, and productive things with that they not be alone all the time. There is food there at one point that everyone helps make. There are minor chores that they do, and sometimes there are outings such as watching a movie in the theater or just going to the park.

There are crafts to do often, anything from painting to working with clay. Some might be in a corner knotting, while others are making native American dream catchers. A small shelf of books are available. And sometimes a TV with or without specific movies sometimes they have old video game consoles inside.

If a person is interested then they may color in a color book, or draw with available paper. And there are lots of word finder books and sometimes Sudoku. Then also there is a radio quietly playing in a corner. I had a friend that had been in prison and he relaxes perfectly well, attentive to one. I would say in such a place you should be able to take a nap. But in PSR groups, you can't. In ours you could

Obviously a bathroom should be available. As for food, it should come free, otherwise you are basically creating an unlicensed restaurant. It is a place with many things to do where most of the time people are doing their own things. These also have classes in them. They used not to. But the guv said they weren't accomplishing anything so the people who ran them had to come up with something. So now there is very little done besides classes, with all of the good fun gone.

Our place though of such a place would not have boring and tedious classes. Whether we would have the best of the best in the best way as illustrated from above. That would be a part of the Church as a whole. It would just be spiritually healthy. Good company isn't easily found among the mentally ill. We are the salt of the Earth, not trouble making criminals. And so naturally we do well among our own kind, in fact especially so. So perhaps this is both the best place for us to be together and with what we like doing. If anyone is kicked out, make it for a good reason.

The Worship of All New Gods and their Consecration Every year on April Eighth April 8th is an important holiday for us. It is then that we get together and create an all new God. We hold a Church meeting to create such a god. First we establish it's name. These are formed as an all new name, one at least very likely not to have pre existed. This Church would speak in tongues (make unusual sounds through their mouths) and decide on which sounds good best together. Each sound is one syllable. And the name should be somewhat long, at least longer than typical ones.

After we have determined a name for it we proceed to make it's imagine. We collaborate together while a person talented at drawing puts it together piece by piece. People state the desired appearance of it and as much as others agree or as much as good it sounds, will be the formation of it's appearance. These can have mythological appearances, like a dragon with Phoenix wings and a lightning bolt tongue. Or can be drawn based on more simple instructions like "has a crown." Then, after it's image has been put together well we will move on to the next step.

This Church would then find the nature of this new God. What does it like? What does it desire? Does it have a home? What does it do? And the Church will establish the attributes of it. After that this Church would put forth things relative to that, such as a back story, a certain history, it's favorite things, if it has any companions, and all such as that.

The next thing to do is to take it's image and form a large statue of it that will be placed in front of the pulpit where the priests conducts her/ his sermons this God will, day by day, be given gifts to receive it's blessing. These can either be concealed on a box or just lay uncovered before the altar. Every Church member will be given instructions, and details about the good, which has been documented. With a copy of it's image on the same paper.

It will be made known 16 things that this God wants during the week or so it had been created and let's nor leave that out. These are mutually chosen things that have been ordered by this new God for all members to fulfil by January 1st, or otherwise the first day of a new year.

And then there is "Christmas" for us on December the 24th. Raffles have been purchased in the meantime, and the one with the lucky ticket will receive every item left in front of the idol. After all of this is said and done on the following April 8th the idol will stand in place inside the Church and details about it beside it for anyone who wishes to worship it may do so.

Giving to all

Each member in this Church may write a list of their favorite things which can be from a small paragraph to a very large list filling up a whole sheet of paper. These may be cheap things or expensive things.

Every time you go to church bring a gift purchased from any one of these lists or a group of them. Most of these things are cheap, ideally. A person brings his gift to church with an identifying name on each gift, whoever it may be, being a person you either wanted to give something to or just because it was something you like too and wanted to provide (any given person.) These are taken into a certain room. The person who made the list has their name upon it. People can check in after Church to see if they received anything.

In the reason of fairness those that go very long without receiving anything will receive a small box of goodies to make up for it. These can include some inexpensive but good things, may a can of coffee, maybe a few candy bars, or anything fun such as balloons. Really it would go a long way.

And the person conducting the Church could have gifts distributed a different way than this, if not both. And that is providing good things to children. In such a case as that each child received a small box of toys and candy. I'd say this should at least be done once a month.

And otherwise maybe it's members can just donate things that are sold are a reasonable price to others, sold because it probably couldn't be distributed to every one and every one, not fairly. It is important to create an income for the Church. Not much could be done without it, as what the Church would and could do. Money makes the world go round. Actually, money makes everything go round. If there is a thing as donations, please donate liberally.

Magical Herbs of Crazyism

Saint John's Wart- This is often regarded as a herb that uplifts a person's spirit. It acts to better people's emotions and also helps with the nervous system, helping with things like anxiety which it has been considered to do for centuries.

DHEA- (Not DHE) is known as a precursor to estrogen and steroids. It was illegal for some time but has been made legally available since due to a legal technicality. These effect sexual hormones a certain way, which include estrogen and steroids but is not limited to then.

Ginseng- said to increase energy

Ginko Biloba- increases blood flow to the brain, acts as an antioxidant

Valerian Root- helps with sleep.

Guarana- Also boots energy

Kava- Boosts mood, but be careful, too much is harmful for your liver (like Alcohol)

Theanine- Boosts mood, too. It is found in green tea.

Chamomile Tea- Well known to boost mood.

Ashwaghanda- Helps with nervousness and stress

Gaba, Passion Flower, Licorice Root—all help with mood and stress.

Melatonin also helps with stress.

Manners or No Manners Some manners are concocted by people that are inherently weak. Should you really have to tell them "please pass the butter"? I had a good friend some years ago that didn't. He would just say "give me the salt," and I was just fine with that. But it just doesn't go over so well for some people. Like saying "give me the ketchup and they fume, responding "say please!" For me it is a difference between strong and weak. The truly strong don't have to adjust their talk. They don't have to say excuse me. They just push a person apart from where they walk. Most people fall into the weak category and are very offended by it. I've known one person who accused me of shoving her out of the way.

It takes more strength to say no. That when someone asks something from you to say no you have to be strong, but it is a muscle that grows. It is also a muscle that needs to be kept developed. They aren't asking for one thing. They'll come back, I guarantee you. A man got shot in San Francisco for nor giving him a cigarette!

I was on the bus one day. I was thinking to myself, 'I say thank you too much.' I thought someone bring told thank you would make him feel better and so me, too. But it became such a habit. Something I had to say. So I thought that it took more strength not to say thank you, and just leave. And after that it has become more my habit not to say anything. No thank you. I'd been eating at a restaurant since then and would just take my food without saying anything.

Of course there are many other types of manners to address but this perspective can be used toward all of them. Some people are behaviorally deficient and will fume over nothing less than sugar coated words and a much stronger sense that manners should be applied to them. They will bark at you for the littlest things. And you shouldn't feed them good things. Be as bitter as they are to you. Be like a mirror to them and show them how ugly they are. I don't know where or why that to tell someone move feels mean and bossy but things such as that do.

Life With Schizophrenia It is an entirely different world for us, at least when not medicated. I'd been in a magic enthralling wonderland with the scope of my reality piercing deep into fantasy. The world was very mysterious because of it. I even took a portable CD player and reversed everything about it. Putting the batteries in backward and the CD upside down thinking I'd hear a secret message if I did.

I stood before an electric stove and though strange things about it, pondering somehow the smaller burner must be more powerful the "right" one.

I would lye in bed moaning and groaning. I was trying to get a grasp on reality but my thoughts were tormenting me day and night. I focused on a cricket thinking I could kill it with a "spark" in my mind. I focused attention on the light bulb to do the same. And I tried making my soul leave it's body, which I actually accomplished to some extent. I could see people far away just like it was right before my eyes.

The street signs confused me while Schizo. I thought I was moving through different cities. In Roswell New Mexico many street signs are named after different cities and states. And seeing the sign saying don't pass.. I thought it was telling me to turn back, even though I was just walking. And I thought certain streets held messages about them. Particularly when it had the number 8. And if I saw a sign named grace, I'd think God was trying to tell me something.

I would gaze high and long in the night time sky. I got the idea that we were all trapped in a black hole. I thought God put us there to protect us from aliens. And I thought a girl I liked was from Mars. Or some sort of demon. I thought she was very far away, like in hell, but able to put herself on the internet, in which she was stuck.

Perhaps worst of all my head was stuck on repeat. Over and over again, continually to no end, the same thoughts repeated in my mind. That is because I was so proud of something I'd said that I wanted to know my words. I'd examine a phrase I said. I thought they were the most extraordinary things ever said. And this kept me from sleeping through the duration of my episode until I got back on medication. It was also some times that I said something was the funniest thing ever said. Once while homeless in Albuquerque I told another homeless person, "should have made that left turn in Albuquerque! While we were walking I must have said that same joke a dozen times.

There was a time I was isolated in "the hole" for a month and I'd see things like a lot of frogs in the cell with me. And apart from that I had visual hallucinations. Even when I didn't have a vision I still had a very powerful imagination. I imagined a giant tower I called doom which was like a living thing. It played The Devil's music to all people below. And I imagined Mammon, who looked like an elephant, somewhat, as a person that kept the doors of hell underground, where a toll must be paid to enter.

And I'd look long at the sky above thinking I could change the weather and bring down helicopters. I even made a little magic like want with a loop on top and a criss cross style that I thought would work better than just my eyes.

And I thought that every day at every time there was a large group of people following me around. At first I called them the spiny heads. Then the wobblers, then "my people of perfect sense." I thought this group of people were following me every where and that they both loved me and hated me. Some of them were against me altogether. I went into the library and I thought they were afraid of me uncovering magic secrets. I thought for sure they'd taken the Koran out of the library before I got there but when I went in and found it I was quite surprised they didn't I thought I was uncovering magic secrets and they were afraid of this. In fact when I first started going to the San Francisco library, which is seven stories tall, I never knew there was an upper floor. The bottom floor only had fiction books. I thought they were trying to hide the truth from me.

And I'd hear voices all of the time. Usually Lucifer has spoken, he's a wise guy, the Devil's his master, The Devil's coming for him, is this the guy that never breaks the law? And also things that weren't repeated. One day I was in front of the TV and heard the Rolling Stones playing on HBO and I said to the TV I like your music Mc Jagger! And I head a voice in my mind of him crying and saying than you. I'd been thinking that the programs on TV were made for me, entirely made by my very own influence.

Life as a Schizophrenic is just like that. It is as I described, a fantasy kind of thinking that has your logic all faulty and wadded up. But miraculously anti psychotics make all these thoughts leave! It is so that there is a pill that removes delusional thinking and hallucinations. A thing not possible otherwise.

My Experience With Mental Health Workers of which I've known many. Many because I've moved often. And many because they just don't stick around, finding better jobs elsewhere.

I had been experiencing a schizophrenic episode when I was 19. My mother knew that something was wrong with me and had me go to the doctor. The doctor sent me to MHR where I talked to a therapist. The therapist sent me to a mental hospital in Las Vegas, NM. There I don't remember much. I just thought it was a part of where I'd been before and time just kind of slipped by. The doctors put me on Zyprexa. In two weeks I was well enough to leave. So this all concerns my life up until it was changed and I started seeing doctors and therapists often.

Not saying anything in first to last order here, but I soon after started attending a "PSR" group. The staff there had good morals. The clients like myself were good people who didn't want any kind of trouble in their lives. And we had no place else where we could be with our own kind. The staff themselves were very kind. I made friends with them quickly. A man there was very kind, a true Christian in fact. He always complimented people and both observed and appreciated the good in people. I still call them time to time to this day.

I've had both good and bad counselors. With psychiatric doctors who prescribe my meds it is a quick in and out. They just want to know if you are functioning normally, determining if you need more help. And if you are functioning normally then they will just continue your regular medication and send you on your way.

Therapy is much like small talk and you either benefit from it or don't, and that's at least partly your own participation. But for me it was small talk. I didn't need it. But I was required to do so. Because at that clinic you can't be prescribed more medication without seeing a therapist. Though it makes sense die to the fact that you only see a psychiatrist for a few minutes each time, maybe up to ten or so minutes, whereas the counselor can tell them how good or bad you are doing.

These days I don't see a therapist. I see a case worker. That person keeps my life in order. They have me get what I need and keep everything in my life orderly.

A psychiatrist I no longer see but once in a blue moon. I don't feel I need to. I have to take my meds. I've been on the right dose and have been doing normally enough for so long. And the less appointments the better. It takes me forty minutes bus to bus getting to my case worker. That is once a week. And once every three to four weeks I get blood drawn. I am on clozorel. Clozorel by the way is regarded as the most effective Schizophrenic medication but it's side effects are the worst, making you slobber all night and is very sedating at first. Which it isn't now. And it's said to make you hungry but it doesn't me. And constipated, which it doesn't to me either. I guess I'm very lucky.

Some doctors can be down right hateful but only if you yourself are blatant and obnoxious. Most of them are very empathetic. Some are just fun loving life affirming people who love their job. And you will find those very professional and those whom are new and not yet we'll enough experienced. I say ask for the experienced doctors/ case workers/ therapists, which I do, and it works great.

It is normally assumed that they can't force you to take meds. But that just depends: me, I'm a crises client and conserved. I had been devastated by Schizophrenia. And now it is so for me that if I quit taking my meds I will be committed to a psych hospital. But I put that under my own obligation. I volunteered to let the courts do so. If I hadn't then there would have been a trial to determine if I would have to or not. I told them I didn't need one and that they could do so, make me legally have to take meds, which is the right choice.

Things all mentally ill people need Maybe most of all, space. Some of us have been abused, badly, and need a space apart. Some need a lot of space and do not wish to be talked to. Some of us misinterpret everything they are told and you will find them next to impossible to communicate with. Space is one of the most valued things of mine. You could understand, I was around large groups of people nearly my entire life and that has been nothing but so for the last five years being homeless, locked up, committed, and in a group home. Before then I was living with my father and my father always had a dozen people living with him. So you could understand that what I crave the most is being alone in my own bed in my own room in my own house.

Mentally ill people also need understanding. They could be thinking bad things all the time about other people, feeling judged and hated even when someone only wishes to be their friend. They can lash out because of it. Actually people often are just lashing out because so very much has been against the. They are in a world that hated them. And having such a life makes a lesser value to life and peace, happiness and well being that has come for others naturally all their days.

The mentally ill need income support a lot of the time. I know as for me I could never hold a regular job. But people also need to be productive, too.

And we often need to be in a place where we are helped in life through therapy, especially if we are depressed and saturated with bad memories. But therapy should focus on giving us good memories to make up for the bad ones. To help us through bad memories. To have them processed well as either Freud or L. Ron Hubbard would, but we also need good new memories to take along in life.

The mentally ill often do good with distractions. Without things like movies or books many of us don't do so well.

We need creative works like crafts. We need things that are done in such a way to fill time and feel good about.

We need good food not just healthy food. Healthy food is sometimes good but nothing can be as good as a cake on the right day.

The mentally ill need to be understood as innocent, when they are, though guilty when "they" are. Those pretending to be insane to get away with a crime is a bad image for us all. But some of us have no real grasp on reality, and need to be forgiven.

We need a place better than a jail because of it.

The truly mentally I'll need medication, that's for sure, no matter what anyone tells you.

The mentally I'll need education and understanding about their condition

The mentally ill need psychiatrists, psychologists, mental health workers to identify us and help us one and all

The mentally I'll need to be around their own kind as it is so that we usually will have nothing to do with criminal behavior and such people as them would rob us dry.

And most of all the mentally ill need a cure to their mental health conditions, like man taking his hand and lifting us up out of a deep hole, one and all.

Encountering

Everyone has a different mindset than another. Sometimes that mindset is entirely different. It might seem that others generally think the same as you but if you were to enter their minds you would be astounded to see just how differently they think and interpret things.

You might watch movies with basic interest and find them boring. Or another may watch TV and be very caught up and interested in it with lots of "ah-hah!"

People have different plans and goals than each other. They may have a basis of knowledge that fills there thoughts for most of the day. A therapist might consider how help full they were, and it makes them proud. While another got into a fight that day, by habit, and I'd proud of how much they hurt the person. Where it is with some that they would have felt bad for the fight, and then there are those with nothing but their enemy in their mind and how hurtful they've been to her or him.

Some people have simple minds. Others think things only they ever consider and would be regarded as strange and foreign to him. Some are filled with anxiety over any given thing and some go through perceptions induced by drugs. Before I first drank alcohol and got drunk, I hadn't the foggiest idea of how drunk people felt, and you'd might as well describe a color to one blind or a taste to a person who never tasted a thing. These people I'm sure have one hell of an experience.

And to arrive at last to a point of how this particular thing could be used in a church. Member by member meet one with the other. One explains his or her thoughts to the other. These thoughts they have regularly, day to day. And that's it: one shows to the other what kind of thoughts they have. And such information serves to understand others better and is good to have as an understanding of others. And member by member will know each other better. And member by member will know all the colors of humanity.

The Crazyiest Things About Religion religion itself is often regarded as acceptable delusion where it is that the DSM will tell you if many believe it, it isn't a delusion. This was just written to keep good ties with religion which otherwise could cause large groups of people delusion, like Christians.

But the Christian believes in a virgin birth and a son of God, a resurrection and miracles performed by a man named Jesus, all of which cannot be substantiated. But the story of Jesus does well to reward and punished it's followers. If they do not believe in him they will not have an afterlife. But most believe that they will burn forever in unimaginable torment, thrown into a lake of fire. Like George Carlin said, but God still loves you! They will claim that this salvation is free. But there are a lot of things that come with the package. If it were really free then it wouldn't provide so much reward in precise adherence to this Jesus. Is faith worth more than just being a very good person? Good people go to hell for not believing. Christ and God are dictators.

Many of the stories in the Holy Bible are absurd. They'll have you believe that a man built a boat and put two of every animal inside, floated at see for more than a month. Or there's the one where people built a tower as high as they possibly could to get to heaven. And God, furious, confounded their tongues and that is why there are different religions. These are just like any other fairy tale for those that are bold enough not to believe in them.

Some people in religion bomb others in the name of their God. Some believe that they could ride a comet to heaven so they collectively commit suicide. Collective suicide caused by religion is far worse than the kind you find among us. If we are badly bullied or depressed then we may commit suicide (though of course, we shouldn't) but a Christian who commits suicide represents delusional thinking much worse than ours: they think Armageddon is occurring because the red moon and the year 63, he has gotten into power, nowhere to run, life is meaningless anyway. Must never long for this world.. and they kill themselves. That is insanity.

A Better Villain is capable of us. Only when we are grandiose can we be a hero on the scale it is measured. You may have heroic moments, but you are not a super hero. Never there was. People aren't capable of being heroes to the degree of true fable truth. But humans are capable of being villains to a large scale, and sometimes are. These are people that are leaders in large scale criminal enterprises, the mob, drug syndicates. But maybe if someone had a better option they could be a different, even better kind of Villain.

Be a compulsive liar. Concoct stories of success and talent. Pretend you have talent that seems true, but isn't. Play music based on simple but quickly moving chords. Spin a tale of an incredible biography. Exaggerate your wealth. Put an iPhone sticker on something. A sticker on your regular motorcycle. Say your jewels were expensive and made to order.

And remember the more you tell a lie the more it must be believed giving the end of resistance, having broken through. Be a damn good liar.

Be a religious leaders. Find your way into the hearts of millions, like L. Ron Hubbard or Jesus. Concoct magic spells that seem to bring up ghosts, holograms, or a strange sound. Be the great messenger. Be the great prophet. Change the course of the world with a book. But don't assume that I have. And keep in mind that fraud in some cases is criminal.

Find only the legal ways to be a villain. Make your heart black. Set forth a plan diabolical, The Devil's purpose. Tell a story that others would love to hear. Be an actor on the stage performing the best possible villainous role. Build a wicked kind of people. Clutch power over them. Take control of everything in your life through them. And you will be as one who conquered the Earth.

Oppose Christ and engender a purpose against God. To be an enemy to God is not necessarily to be an enemy against man. But to be an opponent to God and to make things more Satanic is to be a villain to all who stand in heaven, whose allies reside in hell.

My Thinking- Improvement Tricks

I have a few good ones. They all occurred to me when I was incarcerated somewhere or another. These are tricks that help you very good in improving quality of the mind—they improve minds.

The first one is to go through the alphabet one letter at a time to think of any given thing within a these. Such as something about a game or movie you like. Such as a sword from a movie, H can be sword of he-man, E can be Excalibur. Or more generally is better, really, such as a weapon from a movie. They can all be the same movie, too, or game.

Otherwise you could go through the alphabet thinking one word at a time to improve vocabulary or learn a new language such as a Spanish word letter by letter.

And best of all you can go through the alphabet from the first to last letter to come up with a word of how grateful you are, of what you are thankful toward, such as A could be I have ample friends. And B could be 'My new day has just began.

But my best mind improving technique is this: to take a small, basic dictionary that you go through word by word to remember things. So if you read the word tree then you may remember a tree you claimed. If you see the word candy you may remember a child hood treat. If you read the word book you can remember a few books you've read, or a time you were at a bookstore.

Also while I was incarcerated I came up with a list of my twelve largest influences in life naming this list "my twelve names" and it is a rather useful list that I can use any time I want to pull influence from.

But my best writing has been "The Principle List" which provides me with a source of meditation. It is a list of these people each with four characteristics that you symbolize with friends and/ or family. Mine is just family members. Appoint them to this list from oldest to youngest fitting yourself in as you fit in age, depending on who you choose. That list is below.

Found in all movies, games, and books, the Principle List is a source of inspiration and observation in those in your life whom you love.

Person One: Red, Bird, Hand, Staff

Person Two: Bear, Bee, Brown, Cane

Person Three: Green, Rabbit, Seed, Stage

Person Four: White, Ring, Goat, Thief

Person Five: Joker, Sword, Gold, Pig/ Swine

Person Six: Red, Whip, Cat, Fairy

Person Seven: Yellow, Rodent, Duke, Wind

Person Eight: Bomb/Blast/Wand/ Black, Beast, Fox

Person Nine: Yellow, Horse, Toad, Dust

Person Ten: Assassin, Creature, Word, Tiger/ Lion

Person Eleven: Blue, Elephant, Stone, Spirit

Person Twelve:: Purple, Dragon, Mask, Wolf/ Dog.

Some of these are found to have two or more meanings. Staff for example can be either a wooden stick or a group of people employed somewhere. Cane can be a walking stick or sugar.

Avoid relying too much on color, which comes too simply. Look more for the other three in each group of four. And as much as the go together, the more they are each person as their lists represent them.

Sponge Bathing is Easier and the Most Desirable Way to Dress Entering into a shower and getting soaked is simply undesirable to me. Leaving the shower, cold, and drenched is a terrible experience each time for me. But I found a far easier way. Apart from washing my face, beard, and hands in the sink I sponge bath otherwise. I use disinfectant wipes, ones with a light amount of disinfectant. Though that's just me, whether or not it's safe.

Just smothering yourself in deodorant doesn't work. That just masks odor. While sponge Bathing you have to rinse off any order and that requires wiping on, wiping of, wiping off with water, applying a cleaning agent which may be a stick of deodorant or a good amount of spray. Just be conscious that your skin could absorb it, or whatever. I wouldn't worry about that. In fact while I was homeless I had gotten body lice and I stripped and sprayed a whole can of Raid on me. I turned out just fine (hopefully) but that was four years ago.

Dressing well and it's formula is rather simple. To dress attractively you've got to put together clothes well. Some colors go well together. Black goes with anything. I recommend black pants with a white belt and a shirt with black and white colors. Shoes are very simple, just get ones that like good. Your top shirts should be picked out carefully and be something you know of, instead of obscure to you and every one else. Make them things people identify. I like eye of Providence shirts and Mickey Mouse shirts, most of all.

I like cargo pants but not cameo/ army green. I'm not in the military. The pockets are helpful. I get solid color ones. I use a clip belts, or one of those you loop to tie. They both last longer and are easier to use.. and also they fit precisely. I have the same Nike clip belt from four years ago. Fanny packs give you even more pockets and are easier to pull desired things out of than a jacket. Which I prefer to have an overcoat and can take with me everywhere I go my most important things. Having been homeless, that's important to me.

Jewelry is something that represents dignity of a person. It honors one's own self. To save every dime to get an expensive piece of jewelry represents work, are carried by people whose appearance are important to them.

A Less Harmful Environment we have come to the point that those whom are incarcerated among us, the mentally I'll, have a better place in jail. We are not typically violent. Mentally ill people may be thought as those that are violent, but it has been my experience through and through that we aren't. Unless someone in jail is faking it, or someone on the streets, in a mental hospital. Many do fake mental illness and it looks bad on us, and it effects us in a very negative way. And yes, Sociopaths by definition are people who are aggressive. But just nearly every other disorder do not have the violent among it's ranks.

I had heard from a psychiatric doctor that sometimes a person belongs in a mental hospital, not in jail. It was just 10 years ago when in jail on an incursion and pills for my mental health were hard to come by. But just a few years after the psychiatric system of the town a place known as Mental Health Resources found itself inside the same jail and psych doctors were easier to come by. Much to my grief before that, a nurse was giving my Seroquel to other people. I'd gone Stark raving mad at that time in my life.

The most recent time I was locked up I was put into a pod (a large to very large room of inmates, separated one from the other) a pod specifically for the mentally ill. In there was psychological teaching groups I attended. A large set of books. A view outside.. though the guards would tell us not to look out. And a good amount of room to walk about awhile. Jail is no good place, I assure you, but where I was I was sure to get my meds, professionally. And the person I was I just misunderstood reality. I thoughts things wrongly in a way that got me into trouble, though I thought I was doing the right things.

Sometimes They Should go to Jail.. Or a Mental Hospital.. And psychologists should come upon the mentally ill in their place—when on the streets. This reminds me of a person I was near while homeless. He was being bothered by someone, and was acting nervously strange. A person that sure could have been a psychologist came to his approximation and told the man to stop because he was having a panic attack. Leave this man alone, he said, you're giving him a panic attack. It really gave me a good impression. He was someone that probably needed that help.

I used to think while I was going through an episode that I could pick for myself alternatives to anti Schizo meds (poor alternatives I thought were just as good, even carrying some semblance to wisdom) these included stuff like Saint John's Wart, maybe DHEA. I actually thought while I was on the street that I was being monitored and visited by psychologists regularly, which seems somehow ironic. I thought they were after me, I thought that psychiatrists were all around. And I would lay in bed at night experiencing paranoia. I increasingly thought that I was in danger from the public but to sleep somewhere safe was breaking some sort of rule they had against me. I thought that psychologists were around to protect me, sitting close to me like a fire watch. I thought that people were after my life so I would do things like sleep in a portable potty – or I'd take a large trash can, empty it and drag it somewhere less noticeable and discreet.

Ah, it's all coming back to me. The things I thought were such strange things to think. But to continue with that I'd digress.

The thing is that I am laying out here is about hysterical people. Hysteria caused by being bullied. Let me illustrate it: a woman jogs daily on her regular route. She's done so many times and is something that she enjoys. It makes her feel better. But then out of nowhere a tall thugly/ gangster looking man stops her. He looks her straight in the eyes and says, "oooh boy I like them baby blue eyes!" She asks him not to hound her. But he continues and says again "I sure like them baby blue eyes!" she says if he doesn't leave her alone that she's calling the police. And he snorts "For what? Loving them baby blue eyes?" And not until she's forced her own self away that she's gotten away from him. And she no longer jogs anymore because of the experience.

It is a privilege to be lazy.. And apart from being totally healthy, but be well enough healthy. Be moderately healthy, even a little less that moderately, if you dare. For the life of those carefully healthy is one of worry and dress with heavy winds against them. They take up life like a storm and try to push back death all their days but they fail. On the other hand they that do not deny the better things in life feel life like a cool breeze. There is no greater understanding that to keep from oneself troubling, confounding, twisting, and complicated matters that have no real resolve.

But to regularly see a doctor, to eat healthy, venture into the park or outdoors, is expected of today's people all around the world. Society expects these. Staying healthy is the largest propaganda ploy in history and achieved a level of paranoia that people have never so much feed into. They will tell you on most commercials one thing or another about things really trivial, sometimes just common sense things they didn't need to be informed about, and other things an all to commonly auto-received pseudo science about, say, oats possibly preventing heart attacks. But to say something bad about beef in Texas, is illegal, in some places sugar is taxed. Some commercials make an egg a pearl. Milk is over inflated to being seemingly a fountain of youth. Is there any worse way to treat your food like a scientist eating what is either bland or impossible to be enjoyed.

Or would we take the pleasure we can with it. We know that food is bad in this way and that but does health eating have to be so excessive? That's because no one can do just a little good. People want to do the very best and better than that. It's never a little, else where's the challenge and opportunity to do? The healthier they can eat the better they can inform others they do and how it's done, like their idols.

Advice Concerning Homelessness

  1. Do not talk to others. There are many among the homeless and not that would pimp you out whether you are male or female. In fact male whores are just in as much demand as female ones.. and don't think that a woman would hire you. It is a man that wants your butt on every corner you linger at. Or they could want you hooked on drugs. They want what little money you have. And it is those on drugs that are homeless who get any money at all, which goes towards drugs bought by sucking someone's cock. So do not walk with anyone to any sort of place. Keep yourself separated from others. If a woman tells you she wants to sleep with you deny her. It is never that simple. Besides, having sex with hookers is a sure fire way to get an STD.

  2. The most valuable items are: lighters, pens, blanket, luggage or back pack, a radio, and batteries. Get a radio that uses two AA's. These have power lasting for weeks even with regular use. A radio that is analog. One not using AAA batteries. Lighters are needed if you smoke tobacco. Some places are saturated in "snipes" (partially smoked cigarettes) and to smoke them, roll them in trash paper. It may be all you have. If you like you could just smoke what is left of it. And some places I had some that seemed to have only been smoked a few puffs, there was many, actually, every hour. Pens? Well entertainment isn't easy to come by. Having pens you can use trash to write on. Maybe you could even put a book together. I went behind a college in an ally and found practically a garbage full of binders and paper. All of them like new, too. A blanket is the most important thing. It gets very cold outside late at night, wherever you are. And along those same lines try to be in a city that has moderate weather. That is why I chose San Francisco over New York City, though NYC is where I wanted to be the most, at the time. A backpack or luggage is better than hauling around a shopping cart everywhere, believe me. And with a shopping cart you are stuck in one place, you can't take a shopping cart on a bus.

  3. Get publically provided support such as a bus card. If you are mentally ill you should qualify for a free bus pass, possibly SSI or SSDI (whatever your age.. but 18 or older) food stamps, commodity packs, free medical care, etc.,

  4. Go to the downtown area of any city. Obviously the mentally ill aren't going to be in residential areas. They'd be trespassing. Fond an area where people are together sleeping because you could be more sure not to get kicked out. Just keep to yourself. Usually they will leave you alone. It is like an unwritten rule that no one goes up to another and suddenly start talking to them. If you are "trespassing" in front or beside a building a security guard will let you know, and you will just have to "move one." "Moving on" is a term used by them and the police to tell you to sleep elsewhere. They will wake you up and say "Move on," or "go over there" if there is an acceptable place nearby.

  5. Cardboard? Make a coffin bed. A bed that has roof and walls made from boxes. Businesses leave out boxes for you. It is just more convenient for them too. They are taken and people sleep in them if they don't just use them for a little padding. But that little bit of padding helps.

  6. To entertain yourself you may be lucky to find an outdoor TV. Or you could go to the library. You could go to the ocean and bathe in it, if available, cleaning under your clothes, letting it all dry. You could be where the entertainment is. That was especially true for me at the Fisherman's Warf. Over there were many public performers, on every corner of a few blocks. Some of them were pretty damn good.

  7. Just deal with it. Take it as it comes, day to day. You probably won't be that way for ever. And though a home beats none any day it really isn't that difficult to just sleep on a bench and await for help from others, which really is enough. I was always being given money and food. You might like to be next to a church. Those inside will come out and see you, and help. Homelessness is a heavy and hard word. But to be homeless is not as nearly bad as most would think.

Smoke—Paranoia, Hysteria, a Mad Public

If you can't stop smoking based on it's bad effects on health while it is that they will thoroughly warn you about sugar, alcohol, obesity, and a slew of other things along side it (nothing is healthy) then they will present it as filthy and disgusting, which has a far greater effect on refusing it. That works! And you aren't just harming yourself, "They are harming other people, those that smoke." It is like they just aren't listened to when they stigmatize it health wise. Not even putting an image of a cancer ridden lung very helpful, really. So they present it as a disgusting social stigma instead.

I want to illustrate how the public is mentally ill.

There are those fully engaged, locked and loaded toward their cause

There are those that panic at the sound of a sneeze

There are those coughing and coughing saying it's gonna kill me! It's going to kill me!

There are those that go to Jesus and Mother Mary each time they think of a cute little woman's..

There are those looking up at tedious moons saying to their selves after a long gaze God is truly coming soon

There are self professed atheists that believe a black hole is a worm home with multi verse inside

There are people who force themselves to jog hours a day

There are people looking at porn day and night, day and night, and living alone

There are people whose thoughts dwell on murdering others

There are those that are love sick with a bleeding heart compulsively listening to love songs and who have become quite a stalker

There are those who are simple minded that do nothing more than listening to popular music and whose thoughts may only move an inch outward any given day

There are those who can't quit eating and have become quite fat

There are those that rage over particular things that others would consider meaningless to them. But some have raged due to them to the point of becoming murderous

There are some going about sure that they are vampires or werewolves

There are the truly moral- lacking, criminally moral deficient that rape kids, including their own, or via a place they put themselves into, such as a monastery.

Worse than vampires there are those that believe they are Jesus, son of God, friend to all man, comes to get his kingdom. Is here. Is here. Here I am one and all. I have returned!

There are some that have slept all day. They rose for an hour, then returned to bed. And some of them are old people in the process of dying. They are just no longer aware.

There are people throwing a ball into a hoop several hours a day to "be the best"

There are many right now, at this moment, many, many people whose minds are friend on drugs. And for some of them, their minds really have been fried, permanently. There is a person in a corner who sees things not there, at this moment, strung out on LCD.

And there are no lack of people who are religiously strange—thinking things that just sounds like total and utter nonsense to the most sound among us—but believe these things they do. And I'm mostly referring to the cult like thinkers. Who knows what room someone is trapped in at this moment being fed all kinds of absurd logic. There are the kind of people that have forced themselves to pray for five hours a day because that's what God wants.

Let us then be a what-about-these-people people. Let us shine the light on all who shine it upon us, targeting us, pigeon holing and stigmatizing us.

Karma- I have seen many instances in which I had undeniably experienced the effects of Karma. It may have just been a product of my guilty mind. I made have then set up my own disaster, feeling guilty, while punishing myself. It is when you are feeling wrong that you trip on the stairs or drop a dish.

So for example one night I told someone she couldn't use my cell phone charger and by the whim of the guilty God- inducing equilibrium it was dealt back to me evenly. I had my phone plugged in. And in a senseless way rose straight out of bed, as though to apologize, and yanked the cord from the wall "unintentionally." The charger broke. Thankfully my phone port didn't, too.

I have brought ideas about Karma together to incorporate them into our religion. They are substantially helpful.

  1. Make provision that you know the God of Karma Shiva.

  2. I present to you She is most availing in matters of fortune, along with the fates

  3. Through the fates be heard. Through the fates have your story told. And over hear what they'd keep hidden.

  4. Do not tempt the hands of fate. Do not put a cog into the necessary machinery of your existence.

  5. Be resolved by Shiva and substantiate good terms with her.

Because a God is one alone. But the spirit of God's are everywhere, as is too the spirits of humans. Anyone has access to your spirit. They are all around and fill up all space. Because of them we are not one small person. Our spirits reach out into the furthest teaches of space.. beyond that. As do the spirits of God's and Shiva, a good that once lived here on Earth, who was made by many spirits, the guilty kinds, and too fed pleasures things, came to be. And spirits give birth to spirits. And it is thereby that we exist all as one. But your spirit of guilt, it shall be eaten by Shiva and shall return on you very fat.

Those that only do bad occasionally and not so much doing what is either normal to them or something they want to do. Their guilt will come back on them much stronger than those who are seasoned in what they do, who have no guilt, are just doing what is acceptable on their own terms.

Speaking to Our Spirits which we do in thinking of ourselves. We speak to our "outer spirit" things that are spoken back to us, mostly unaware. We are aware of very little about it. If we tell our spirit "we are a bad person," or, "that was wrong," then our spirit will be left thinking about it and things in our lives will arrange in a way that something will go wrong. Our spirits are always talking to each other, mine with yours, yours with mine and there's, there's to me. And it is in this that reality is a laboratory and that reality makes itself up.

It may be scary to hear this but you are occupying someone else's reality right now, or at least possibly are. You have maybe been around a little while but the body you are in now you haven't occupied for very long. You fell asleep. You woke up in what is the result of many different realities having come before. "Your" memories you see, and therefore think they are yours, but they are others that have experienced them, now long gone. You came into this reality with the workings it is intended to project, but you are just one work man along the route many have traveled.

But do not feel at loss with this. The .ore you know it true, the more that you can begin to take grasp that you are entering different realities over and over again. Some day your work in the physical plane will be done and you will be awarded The Gift of Collective Knowledge being able to have "Many Souls." That means that the collection of separated realities will be made available to you. The purpose for these things are two fold: One, to make you a good, as you are being made as such, and Two: that work get done the most optimal way, as assigned by Ya (God.)

It is like your soul is being formed while it is as in a type of a womb. That great mother brain in the sky known as magic, whose name is Aeon. When the chemistry is right and precise, you will be born God as all Gods are made, not just born. And in time after that you will become all things until you must begin again as the smallest pebble who must fill in the pieces yet missing until all pieces come together.

A little more of a Bio about me is that my Schizophrenia causes OCD in me. The most favorite of which (though a miserable thing) is compulsive budgeting. I would literally wrote out my future budget day and night until I got paid. Basically spending my money on paper before I had it. Then I'd follow very little of the last list. Because of it I got a psychic kind of sense about how much things cost together, before I even look up a price. I can expect something to cost very closely what they do, or down right on the spot.

Music was in no way such a slavish thing occurring with me. I'd watch music videos. One at a time for hours each, enthralled, enraptured. I was exhilarated. I really was high on life! And it isn't no understatement, I was on cloud nine.

Differently but laying out more things indicative of my mental illness—I thought I was a brilliant inventor. I would make these our on paper while I was homeless and put them into people's tip jars, while I was homeless. One person got angry about it. He chased me then threw it in the trash. I didn't understand! One guy had a clown outfit on and big pockets. I put my invention ideas right into his pocket, leaving, feeling sure the guy was going to be rich. And it wasn't just inventions I was writing/ drawing, but regular art too. I thought for sure someone had a hundred thousand dollar paper in their can.

I thought I was the big man around town Mr. God. If there was a sign in sheet anywhere that visitors left notes about were they'd been I signed my name Lucifer White filling up the whole sheet, and left some kind of baphomy sign alongside it. No doubt my fans followed me everywhere.

I used to long that my family would show up precipitously. In fact I thought that strangers on the street knew me well and that they do my family well as a result. I even thought my sister was around, my closest sibling who lives in California, too. So when I would yell out for them to come get me I thought they heard my call and would be here from New Mexico by the end of the day. And I sat. And I waited. I was truly lost. I'd imagine a time away from the abusive, mean public. That a home was being prepared for me by the government through my aunt. I pictured what that place would be like. It was a good place I held in my heart where I could recover. I even thought that every little bit of how the public "treated" me so abusively that there were snipers on the roof ready to shoot down all around me, saving me that the military had seen this abuse going on. But all of that was just paranoia.

I choose to do work with the best reward that reward being primacy. I could toil in day to day jobs, living pay check to pay check without the possibility to achieve what I would were I a famous author—or painter, musician and the like. But I choose to do the work that would lead to primacy, notoriety and fame. I want to be long remembered. I want to be influential with its geniality.

I confess to God that it is fame I want most of all, and to have a large following for that. And I have the heart and drive to work towards those ends. Even with not very many breaks I write for at least five hours each day. I did venture out for a tasty donut and coffee today but I still had been working for seven hours today, five or six beside that.

And I like to be an inspiration. If you are on a governmentally supplied income you at least have the time to employ toward writing, or painting, song writing, or creativity otherwise. Maybe you could think of just one striking invention and patent it, or even a few. I myself should peer into what kind of paying work I could do, meaning something paid and easily obtained pay through work instead of solely spend his life on SSI writing, but getting by on crumbs.

And it is a good thought for us all to engage in. Where there work out their for all of us, well, maybe so. There is a whole world out there for jobs, many of them the same, but still a ton beside. It isn't all apples and oranges. But what then apart from sweeping or working a cash register? I see good money in console moding. That is something that a person can do quite leisurely. S/ he would be their own boss. That is where you enhance an old video game console. You could put in a new optical drive, you could put an HDMI port on it. If it is a very old portable gaming devise you could install a back lit screen. Or you can repair these. Having gotten them far cheaper and, following instructions online, put in new capacitors. And this kind of work seems to pay quite well.

Some people when poor will never do anything about it. Those that gone from shame to fame did things like invent Monopoly and play dough. Even during the great depression and dark ages there were these who just made one major invention that lead to a lifetime of wealth.

You are what you drink and especially so with the more it is drank. Drinking anything regular transforms you into it. It's spirit pours upon you. Entire races have incorporated into them things they consumed, more than we currently estimate. This goes with food, drinking, and also putting any chemicals into you, such as through smoking.

Just like the see the Atom as the smallest thing then discover there is more to it than that and discover protons, quarks, things yet smaller, they uncover that drinking something regularly has more effects than meet the eye. It used to be tea had caffeine. Now they are talking about flavonoids and anti oxidant characteristics. What they don't realize is they are observing an effect of someone becoming what they drink being made into it. Incorporating it inside themselves.

If you drink tea regularly, then you can well enough call yourself tea. And if you live to be a hundred years, you come ever closer in resemblance to it as a living thing side by side. And who knows? If scientists extended life to two hundred years and that person consumed a particular thing for that whole time how close would they be to becoming practically it? I say that so much it would be apparent. So let us be mindful about this were a time ever come that our lives last so long. I'm not saying you'd literally become a tea leaf. The effects of it I don't entirely know, but it is easy to assume you'd be well integrated with it.

To smoke something g has been thought in earlier times that would be to inhale, "breath into" it's spirit. And I think that upon consideration that holds up. That because when you burn it and make it smoke, everything it can possibly be is mixed. And just for the fact it is going into your lung. The lung, the breath, is something the mystics have long deemed the defining characteristic of life. Like you could be tea you could be tobacco. Think about this carefully: a life needs certain chemicals to be and you are putting them in your body along with what uses them to be.

We take up spirits from life forms we consume, then, and these spirits are the spirits that give us life on Earth. We then take life from the Earth like it is borrowed. We borrow from the Earth life. It is not our life, but the Earth's.

The Promise of Psychiatry

Though it had been badly tainted in it's earlier years things are not like they used to be in it's profession. In fact they are starkly different. Most professions of earlier times were more corrupt than they are more recently. They used to do far eviler things to prisoners, those keeping them, including brutal torture.

But things have changed, have gotten much better. Counseling has taken a more Buddhist like course. They are no longer elaborating that you have penis envy.

Counseling is like a better adaptation of spiritual well being, of Buddhist like thinking. It is comprised of such things as to master mentality over a broad spectrum. In fact, counseling is far more spiritual and for us we could consider our spiritual leaders to be those whom counsel us spiritually, for which they are well qualified.

You can't count on being tied to a bed or being wrapped in cold wet blankets unable to move. And unless you are on the very edge of harming yourself and cannot be protected otherwise then you won't be strapped down. Even still you are more likely put in a room for just a short time, and they know themselves that being in their too long I'd itself bad.

When Haldol came about people who were previously incurable then, were. It isn't a permanent cure. It only lasts as long as you take it. I am referring to the strangest of all mental illnesses, Schizophrenia. These people were deranged and mad at all times, severely detached from the world, from reality. Then they were given Haldol, a pill made from so much research, and they then had normal thinking processes. They no longer thought, for example, that they were Jesus or Napoleon. They no longer thought that their food was being poisoned. They no longer heard voices screaming at them, or they were at least greatly reduced. Quite a miracle, really. That a pill stop delusional thoughts? Most people think that these pills are just sedatives used to call you down. But if that was so they'd just be a person who calmly believes he has magic powers and that the radio guy is his long time best friend, who tells him what to do.

I've taken em, for, oh, 17 years and I know first hand. I've taken them off and on and had to learn I can't do well without them. And I've been on them for the last three years. They sedate you a little at first, some of them anyway, make you tired. But the Clozorel no longer does that to me. And if you overdose on them you feel like sh*t. You feel terrible. Any one who's looking for a high on an anti psychotic is going to get the perfect opposite.

So all in all we are in good hands. And maybe a total cure will be found someday. The future ahead is very bright and is getting better all the time. I thank my lucky stars because I know how unclean my brain is without them. It's toxic. It is a wasteland, a swamp.

I don't think they should be shamed into something done by others in their profession from many years ago, decades—nearly a century. That isn't their fault. They had no part in it. Actually given a choice they wouldn't and probably just generally desire the well being of their patients all around.

In fact ancestral sins we pay for, like being cursed, that our ancestors were likely given that curse unto us, we have a new help, guardian angels, who are ready and able to help us in God like ways. In the spirit of Crazyism we should extend that further by no holding accountable people based on what their ancestors did.

I don't like carrying a knife, and certainly not a gun. That's the only way I can guarantee myself not to use one. I could get angry at any time just enough to pull a knife our on them. One of two things could happen: I would use it or I'd have a weapon pulled out on me, too, even a better one, even a gun. And I could seriously wound or kill someone. In such a case as that I would be apprehended and locked up. Or I could be wounded myself during the fight.

If someone pulled a weapon out on me then I did, or if I thought myself just find in attacking someone with one, I could still be charged with a crime. So I stop that possibility from occurring. If you have a weapon you use to defend yourself it may not be enough if they have a group of people behind them, even a small one. And if the police show up then you yourself could get shot by them, weapon in hand during the panic.

Weapons and mental illness don't mix. Especially with things like schizophrenia and sociopathy. Actually a sociopath probably has it perfectly in her or his nature. But schizophrenic people have paranoid and grandiose things emanating from their thoughts. They think they are a King or Lord, that the rules don't apply to them. I did. I thought I could force all the men our of town. I thought that I made the rules and there was nothing that could be done to me. I even thought I was expected to break the law. To prohibit such people as myself from owning a weapon makes perfect sense. It isn't unconstitutional. Even if we're called so the fact is that Schizophrenic people need special protections against their own bad sense. To keep us from owning guns is to essentially protect us, not just others but also ourselves.

These people thinking they are Jesus, for whom their should be some sort of mental health label—but there isn't. They think that the apocalypse is neigh and comes the Lord, wait! I'm the Lord! These people will go to no ends to get to heaven via a comet or that they have no other choice than to leave this wretched world life and drink poison, going straight to heaven. There should be a mental health diagnoses for religious zealots. And certainly they should be quarantined like the pests they are spreading disease.

Racism is Defunct Thinking

It has been said that the Jews should have left Germany when Hitler ordered them to. But it isn't them that should have left but Hitler. Hitler should have left Germany. He had a short life and a much shorter life in power and he consumed poison to end his life abruptly and fought for a helpless cause.

Racism is too simple. People of a color giving it greater magnitude and stigmatizing the others, scapegoating them. They conveniently have the worse things to blame on other races. Like blaming the Devil. And their pride comes too simply, and unrealistically. If you are white that doesn't earn anything of pride. It isn't something you've earned. These that are Mr. White may have done little to nothing in their life and have no pride for anything otherwise.

You can too easily see problems of other races but really they have little to no effect in your own life. If you live in an area you don't want to be in, than move. If you want to live in a richer neighborhood, then go to school and get a degree, then a high paying job and you may live in whatever neighborhood you want to. If you take drugs and are interested in a gangster life than that is your choice, too. And such places one and all are composed of different races.

It is often thought by racist people that only black people live in slums and those neighborhoods are all their fault. But that isn't so. In fact me, myself I've lived in them, and I am white. Just because I am white doesn't mean that I magically transform my environment. Poverty comes on all colors. You will see many white people in slums, too. It is poverty, not race.

Some of the most aggressive people are entirely so because of how they were raised. These are those beaten bloody by their father. And I know, I've seen a family member of mine hitting his son until he bled and demanded he "be a man." And that is really the only thought I ever need against racism. My cousin wound up in prison as an incurable criminal. Crime is caused by three things most of all, and none of them are one's race: crime is caused by poverty, abuse, and associations.

Yeah I want there to be a war, kinda

Considering that most people will take pleasure even when it could harm them, and actually very many take all sorts of pleasure that could kill them (drugs, sky diving, involvement in gangs, shootouts, racing your car along way too fast without a seat belt) then there are those that volunteer for the infantry in the army. To get to my point, people want the thrill. They want something Stark and adventuresome, something interesting, a break away from the plain and dross. They read the paper for the same reasons any one else does: for these reasons listed.

So people will argue the cause of peace for years and even decades but they become I settled by it. Like sitting in a nice seat. At first it is comfortable and then it becomes too boring to take, if one is to sit all day that's a terrible thought..

People won't admit they want a major war to occur. The generals and military leaders of all kinds begin to feel kind of stagnant. The greatest leaders will come up with the littlest reason to begin a war. They will put up stiff restrictions on other countries and generally meddle. Then after they ruffle their feathers too much there is a backlash and they are told so.. you want a war? Because if you want a war, a war you'll get!

Power isn't worth anything if it is never used. That is the thing about American Presidents. They only have eight years to have it happen, if it is going to happen at all. It's got to happen. Or they'd never known the power of the Presidency. And they are likely to think day by day that they wish something terrible that would happen that they could fix. They want a war to happen.

Everyone wants a war to happen. One in which they are generally kept safe. But there are some who want to run right into a battlefield, like a sky diver, or a Daredevil who knows he could die.

A perfect waste of time is something I think about sleeping. To lay my head down for many hours each night is the last thing I want. I want my night to continue on, indefinitely, actually. I am the exact opposite of someone who would lay in bed all day.

This and I think that sleeping is like death. I am outside my self. I am not attached with reality, but fantasy that itself I have little control over, like someone who makes a complete fool out of himself.

I lay in bed wanting to get it over with. I first lay in bed awhile with my phone. I enjoy especially well during that time. That's at least one good thing. I fall asleep easily and stay asleep through the night. Bit when I wake up I am most happy that a new day has begun.

I live in a group home. I am required to take my medication by a certain time. And that medication is for Schizophrenia but too it is a perfect pill to sleep by, because it changes my thinking in a way conductive to sleep. It doesn't sedate me, actually.

So the time comes that I am expected to take my pills. Three hours away. And it just doesn't feel like much. It feels like I don't have much time left. It makes me think that the time of day is gone so off I lay.

If I don't have my medication intake monitored then I will only take it in 36 hour periods. That is a night a day and another day. I can do so, effortlessly, without getting tired, if I don't take these pills. So from my own best interest I had set up my life that I be med monitored. It's not that I'd refuse them. It is that I'd delay taking them.

I have tried thinking up ideas that would lead to my appreciation of sleep. I am comfortable under covers, especially on cold winter days. And I have found it is not so much like death. It is more just my soul rising up doing it's own thing. The more your soul rises up the more it can identify that plain, it seems. But that is another matter. I have a soul. So even anesthesia isn't death. It is well understood in the principle "what goes up must come down." Maybe my soul has somewhere it likes to go and does more, and more, becoming ever more familiar with it until it doesn't want to come back down. But sooner or later it will, even beyond death.

Concentrated Visualizing I visualized throughout my life. It began as a child naturally does through music like pop, metal music in my teenage years. But then I came across a very cheap Bach tape and decided to try it understanding it was entirely instrumental. It was cheaper, too, making it an easy choice to buy.

I turned it on and closed my eyes. In fact I kept them closed and continued thinking, visualizing things to it for about ten minutes while his famous Toccata and Fugue in D Minor was playing. I was instantly hooked and would go to Kmart each week to spend my allowance on the large selection of classical music available there. First tapes then CDs. And some other instrumentally based music such as the soundtracks to Bram Stoker's Dracula and Interview with the Vampire when I had more money.

During very long drives to a vacation spot with my family going to woodlands I would listen to these cassettes fully involved. So I had grown up with music made up entirely instrumental. I found my favorite to be by Nobuo Uematsu's, no doubt, the composer of Final Fantasy whose music I still cherish. The best classical music of today is found in video games and movies, though I do like Holst's Planets.

But what good I was at visualizing doubled when I was in a mental hospital for the time of a year. There you were allowed to keep a radio. Unfortunately the classical station didn't give enough reception. It was all static. So I had to listen to a lot of music o didn't really like. There was some songs I liked. My interests are very broad. But they are also obscure. I had to use my best visualization to enjoy my music if it was going to be enjoyed at all and I did just that. In fact I can listen to anything now and spark imagination and pleasant thoughts, thoughts of a very large amount of things. Things that have nothing to do with these songs, but forming into thoughts I like as though something shape shifting.

Thoughts of Self Discipline and a Greater Union of Man

  1. No one owes anybody anything. If you receive anything be grateful, and don't look a gift horse in the mouth

  2. We are all on the same boat, to be not pirates but to get through the endlessness of present time

  3. We will reach that point together, and let us help each other meanwhile

  4. Every one gets angry from time to time, some know no other thing, some have been ravaged and tossed about

  5. The person who can reason through an argument with out taking bad things as an explosive in hand, they are the greatest kinds of people

  6. You don't have to have a partner or any sort of relationship but being human is being social and to do things that raise you above your peers is most satisfying

  7. We all make mistakes and falter, it is inevitable you could chip a tooth and trip on air, falling to the ground. To get back up is to remember this

  8. That we are sometimes well, other times not, but overall if most things are manageable, be satisfied with that

  9. What a boring life sometimes but the fact that it is boring for all, many will come about to change the world and many things lye and wait for the command

  10. If you boast then you will be heard a boaster, one thought to be embellishing, exaggerating, advertising. Do great things quietly, bringing in one thing than the other, and you will have one great thing to show others

  11. Let people go their way even if you find it annoying, that people are dealing out the cards in their favor always, and you are easily forgotten

  12. And most importantly let us all stand for progression and evolution, long, meaningful change for the better of all people.

Life comes and goes and many hard Day's await the one too sensitive and concerned, the one with whom no problem is tolerated. Go your way with ease and in the meantime change things to what you'd have them be in stronger, but more full and complete ways. Go unto the rainbow no one else but you knows.

No one really knows why we are here. You may argue that God of The Old Testament brought us here. But if you look more closely into it, this is not a God that a reasonable person would believe in. Many are they that fear this God. And they are made to do just that. But if you step aside a moment and examine it without fear, belief in this God becomes absurd and ridiculous.

Let us the Crazyists provide each other answers. And even if it is just for a little time or moment let us believe each other's answers to why we are here. But do not longer on answers to you that don't make sense, which don't add up.

If you have any sympathy for me you would find my reasoning acceptable that I think this God of the Old Testament poses as my Father—but if he is He is criminally negligent. With what all the time I starved to say the least. I had a Bolognese to eat over the course of three days. I found myself with a little bag of corn meal to be made last a week. But Jesus said not worry about what you eat. Father feeds the birds and you are worth more than many sparrows. This God is negligent while I was homeless and suffering in depravity.. I had my SSI money and left Albuquerque New Mexico because it was such a bad place to be homeless. What happened as soon as I got into town? Arriving in San Francisco I was getting some warm clothes and found my SSI payment card wasn't working. It's numbers were stolen along with many other cards used at a certain retail store. They had automatically cancelled my card and shipped a new one.. to my address in Albuquerque. And I was two states away

I called them. I had them ship a new card to "general deliveries" a mail box for the homeless. A shelter wouldn't let me use their address. It was a house of gawd too. And having tried this process two or three times I just gave up and was left homeless for a year.

I had finally gotten my money back. After about seven months. And having had it for just a month I lost it again. On that day I told Gawd I will never forgive him for that, for letting his child suffer the way that I did. For I was thirsty and you gave me piss. For I was hungry and you led me into the garbage. The Lord is my Sheppard but I have nothing I want.. I need.

So I suggest simply the best thing for us Crazyists to do and that is that we share the same God but each have different perceptions of Him (or Her.) Let us come to our own understanding of who and what God is and what s/he does. That why we are hear and for what. Build stories of these that for you are true. Determine what good has been of God in your life and tell each other these stories. We will all have the same God and yet we will all have our own.

Why not have many Gods, or at least a few? The most suitable gods for us are those related to chaos. Chaos fits nicely into Crazyism. Any one deity you find related to chaos is most suiting for the practice of Crazyism and to do his or her will. Chaos is one of the oldest ideas in mythology and religion. You can't have a good religious idea without chaos within it. The Pagans believed that the universe came about because of it. Why there aren't rainbow candles I don't know, but it would be the right color for "chaos magic." As I am a creator of religions along the way I've made Christian Satanism, whose magic is also Chaos Magic. And sooner or later I am going to write a type of "gray" Wiccan religion that incorporates Chaos Magic into it. Gray magic, duality between to complete opposites, a blending together of many things is something I excel at, and have practiced over time. America a guard once told me is Chaos Magic, just like my Christian Satanic Bible, which he really appreciated.

This religion is very much different than the ones I created before it. In fact my Book of the Five Planets have nothing to do with the other ones. And the whole organization of thought and Church practices are very different from religion to religion, book to book. It is what I want to be doing. I am only after fame. I ain't getting money. I haven't set up any Church. I only provide directions for others to use for their benefit. There isn't any thing I want more than appreciation and positive change. I'd like to go online and find people using my books. Everyone wants popularity online. This is how I try to get it. But I do not charge any money for my books. And they are each in public domain. I am not deceptive. I am not a con artist. But of course I would like money for what I do. It's just that by making my books free they will be read more, and that matters more to me.

For my Christian Satanism I set forth duality. Duality is the most recognizable trait of Christian Satanism. For my Book of The Five Planets it was imagination. And for Crazyism? I really don't know just yet what it's defining trait will be. But it will come to me at the right time. This is the second book of it's kind. It is still just a baby! And I can't just say to the baby "talk" and to expect it to. Rather I can just observe it and wait to hear what it is saying, understand that and learn from it. And not long after this Crazyism Baby will walk and before I know it will run.

Here are four more symbols to attribute to four other mental illnesses. But first, let us attribute a set of colors, stones, and animals for each one. This is kind of like an astrological thing where any one born on a certain date has a certain stone and animal. I just added to that a color and as mental illness is very well born into, it is just as fitting.

Schizophrenia: Bird, Orange, Quartz

Bi Polar: Dog, Yellow, Diamond

Schizoid: Goat, White,

Sociopath: Serpent, Blue, Ruby

Psychopath: Primate, Black, Amber

PTSD: Mouse, Grey, Silver

OCD: Horse, Brown, Gold

Borderline: Fox, Purple, Garnet

Alcohol/ Substance Abuse: Rabbit, Red, Jade

ADD: Horse, Green, Topaz, Beryl

Anxiety Disorders: Bear, Red, Sapphire

These are just symbols I have created for the most common mental illnesses. I am going to create more art like renderings of mental health conditions in my next book that are symbols but art like interpretations.

But these made are symbols that people who have such conditions to use to represent themselves, which isn't a bad thing, no worse than having the condition behind it it's not to indicate any sort of fault person to person.

In fact over time during the course of this series I am also going to create symbols for "normal" people based much on their profession. It will be like a set of symbols that can be considered "an alphabet of people and what they do." For any good possible use and I'm sure the good meaning and use of it will present itself.

Prayer For the Mentally Ill

Let us pray together for those stricken with mental illness

Be quick, oh God, in delivering people away from insanity

Be resolved and determined to help them

Delivering them from fantasy into reality

Bring forth the doctors we need to have them healed

And may their sickness never return

Give them the body and mind they need to think right

To think in a way that is operable, and well, stable and reasonable

Lift out the depressed from their bed

And put joy in their hearts

Remember those that once had a good life but are now ravaged with drugs and desperation

Protect them from all harm might God

And restore their peace

Keep them from harmony others and their selves by your And may a good life emerge from them

Then bring much peace to all people and let us help each other as much as we would, but only able to entirely do so through you.

Amen.

Prayer of the Mentally Ill

Oh great God who watches over me, come into my life.

Bring into it greater peace, for I am wrecked with bad thoughts

Thoughts that oppressed me and conquer me. These thoughts I pray that you vanquish from me and send them far away

Drive out from me the demon who dwells inside

Salience the things that speak against me. Replace it with an inner voice of peace and serenity

Set straight my feet, my mental imbalance. Steady me. Provide me stability.

I fall this way and that. So badly that I can barely stand straight. And when I walk, I fall.

And when I think, I think out of order. I have created enemies for myself that I cannot remove. In me they dwell. And I beg them be removed from me

As I cannot find my way, walk with me a ways

I can be down into the deepest of pits, crying alone, scared, and confused. Hear me in these times and raise me up.

Put joy back into my heart. Fill my life with people that can help me do better.

I am in need of simpler thoughts, a simpler life, a simpler understanding. But my thoughts rage back and forth and I cannot quite them. Please remove these from me that I may have peace.

If my all and whole is to be mine it can only be given by you. I cannot find it myself. I don't know where it is, and I have no trace of it. I could wonder a thousand years and yet not find it, so I ask you to lead me there where I can be good again.

I pray that you bring about all these things with all your loving care.

Amen.

Different Kinds of Intelligence

  1. Those socially well adapted. Those that know how to handle groups of people. These are at least somewhat extroverted people. They are often entertainers or desire to be. The people—person. The ones that are usually good at climbing up social ladders at work for better positions. Or things going in a more "wrong" direction. Those are they that wind up in gangs. This is sometimes something they were caught up in, and kind of were lead into as one being pushed along in a crowd.

  2. Those that are loners and desire time alone and apart. These days it makes many a pervert because the profusely easy availability of porn. I've heard it time and again in the news. A little becoming too much, a little ways too far apart from the soft core.. if they don't consume their time with masturbation or drinking alone, or yearning for a partner then they can get a lot done. They can work creatively at least, with all the time they need to do well at it. But they usually can't stick on one thing and find themselves without determination enough to educate themselves and the social fears of school keep them from attending.

  3. The kind that are lofty in their wisdom. Some people are intelligent in a way that gives them profound wisdom. But these are just lofty thoughts. They have no real application in life. They are unrelatable to science. It is these things that make you think "wow, that's deep." But it only goes that far. I call this kind of wisdom clouded and useless, as one having his head in the clouds.

  4. The more scientific mind, by comparison. Unlike the people of wise sayings mentioned above there are some that do have useful knowledge as proven by science. These people change our world in a good and positive way. They set forth things that truly make the world go round. And there are many in any given field of science, all very useful. Some will go on to create revolutionary items, they are researchers sometimes, sometimes yesterday, people that expand on pre existing scientific knowledge and sometimes inventors.

Things you Should Have With You Always

I am someone whom actually finds it a hard choice on what I should buy. So in my budgeting I created this list:

  1. More leisurely entertainment. If you want lots of involvement in your sources of entertainment, then less leisurely entertainment, too. What is leisurely? Well this is something that occurred to me when I was wondering why I do not like video games like I used to. I figured, well, they require too much involvement. They last too long. And I put down the more complicated game and tried video games I could play once and beat. That was it, a done deal after about twenty or so minutes. These are sports video games like golf, puzzle games like Tetris, and board games like Monopoly that you can play on a portable device, even your phone, but a big TV if you like.

  2. But most apparently the most important things to have are clothes and food. Nothing feels better, no easier and more natural pride can come than from dressing well. You are more confident that way. But if you wear stained rags it is a shame. And food—good food and good music is all a person needs if s/he could have no other two things. So really grouping all of the important ones here together: good food, good things to drink, good music and good entertainment—I can't imagine a better four things to cover.

  3. Aside from the very important, but you may consider items that are used creatively/ productively. These can be simple to complicated. If you are very young then crafts are suitable. As you get older then the more complicated things are more engaging, it exercises your mind and done to broaden your breadth of ability. In this I go to electronics, from moding an old console or putting together a PC. Seems difficult. It's not. It is just like putting together something that can only go together one way. Comparability is the key word. Most things aren't as difficult as they seem, actually.

Every Waking Thought

And also every bed time thought before you sleep. Talk to yourself, it is alright. It's even important, it is a trait of people who both know themselves better and have higher self esteem.

Tell yourself what is going right. Tell yourself that you have what you like and be glad it is had. If you've bought something recently that is a good place to go. As for me, I wanted a Halloween plastic jack-o-lantern bucket for awhile. I just kind of stumbled across one at Good Will and bought it. Now a few times every day I remind myself I have one and it makes me happy. I imagine like, well, I have all I need. I have more than enough of ( ) to last. I can have iced tea all day, which I drink all day. And I think about all of my possessions locked away in my room as I sit in my living room.

When I go to smoke outside I go over my plans and goals and how I am achieving them. When I've finished a book I am especially happy. And to think about a scene in a movie I recently watched makes me happy, too. I think about my relationships with others and the good I have of it. And I find overall that it is the simple things that when given attention makes me the happiest.

I was once told by a pretty smart friend of mine asked "what made you happy today?" and I told him, and he told me to meditate on that. It was a thought that was coming and going in the day and when I thought to focus on it, my focus was improved. I focused on any given good thing for a longer amount of time, after his advice. And I could no more dwell on what was negative. My thoughts just kept drifting back to the positive when I learned and enjoyed what was good, instead, it naturally being a more desired thought, just one that needed more attention, whatever it was.

When you awake be glad for the day. Instead of laying in bed not wanting to rise just put in your thinking things of the day you will have to do and what best will rise you up to a brand new day. Whatever your thought is on the morning it can only carry on—and do just that, pick up a good thought and carry it with you as far as it will go. When you have to, drop it to pick up another, and remember that later it may be re fetched.

Why I Need Your Support

What I intend on doing has not been done before. Has been even little or none considered. But I am working here to bring it forth: a religion for mentally ill people, specifically. One that has a certain framework relatable to the psychiatrists and their system. That hasn't been brought forth, yet. But this is a good start, actually a continuation of a previous book—but really this was it's best step forward ahead so far, and is inclusive of itself.

This is a first draft basically of Crazyism. What I intend to do is piece it together as the pieces fall together naturally. I intend to do ten books for this religion. If it succeeds any time after that then I will continue. And actually ten will always be enough, except there be demand, and I love to serve. But if the least of people don't help it along it will never go anywhere.

Then you are very important. Remember that my books are free and in public domain. I could use any help at all to distribute it about and any good word of mouth. Then I will have interest especially in this because that was my purpose all along: any amount of help and appreciation.

If I hadn't made a religion for the mentally ill I doubt it would have been done, not in a decade, not on decades, eventually, but it would have been a long way coming.

I didn't cut any corners. The last day of writing up until today, I wanted to just get it done a little earlier and considered creating some relatively easy drawings depicting different mental illness (like a depressed person chained to a bed) art that portrayed mental illness. And it would have been an acceptable inclusion, even a good one, but I just found it was an easy way out and I took a small break and got back to what I was doing which wasn't to be cutting any corners and to do the best work I could, albeit can be difficult late in the day.. early in the night. I typically write seven hours a day writing 15 pages in a font size I carefully picked for eBooks (14 point.) And not having it contain large empty spaces at the bottom or around from segment to segment. Some people write books that say "chapter 5" to waste space.

However the spelling mistakes abound, as I am writing on a cell phone. But I am sure that a software will come out sooner or later where eBooks fed into them have these things and grammar fixed. I really don't see that being far away, either. My grammar mistakes I don't mind. This rules are very strict. All I care about is being understood, and I'm sure I am.

I am an author of religions. It is an occupation I recommend. I took it up naturally. I was writing religions in my teenage years. I'm 37. When it occurred that I could write and distribute eBooks using a word processor I instantly fell in love. My first book took six years to write. I never wanted it to end. Finally I was determined to finalize it, and went on writing more, new books. Books covering many things, mostly religion. But I've also written six books of inventions. That was something I was doing while I was homeless: jotting down cool inventions on trash. But having gotten back into a home I had the chance to do it on paper.

It takes me about six days to write a book. That's 15 pages a day until the sixth day, when I do more. That day is today. I am nearly done with my 23rd book. Having these books online is very important to me. I have gone to jail so much. In jail I could at least depend on these circulating. I would love to see them having done well.

I also wrote a book of prayers. I call it "my blueprint of a desired existence for God's use." Apart from religion but still similar to it is my "Anti Christ Game or Movie" Books 1&2. These two books detail a religion in which the player becomes the anti Christ to rule over the world. This is done much the way any dictator in history has come to power. But what I usually write is about my first child Christian Satanism.

Thank you for reading.

Be mine, forever.

The Principle List

Person One: Red, Staff, Hand, Bird

Person Two: Brown, Bear, Bee, Cane

Person Three: Green, Rabbit, Seed, Stage

Person Four: Goat, Ring, Thief, White

Person Five: Joker, Swine, Gold, Sword

Person Six: Red, Whip, Cat, Fairy

Person Seven: Yellow, Duke, Rodent, Wind

Person Eight: Toad, Yellow, Dust, Horse

Person Nine: Bomb/ Blast/ Wand, Fox, Black, Beast

Person Ten: Assassin, Word, Creature, Tiger/ Lion

Person Eleven: Blue, Elephant, Stone, Spirit

Person Twelve: Dragon, Mask, Purple, Dog/ Wolf

(Attribute these to twelve family members and/or friends from oldest to youngest, fitting yourself in by age.)

These are found in all movies, games, and books and are an occult like observation.

Also by the author..

The Final Bible of Christian Satanism

Sexism: The Bible for my Sex Cult (a parody on religion but also the first book to present "Crazyism")

The Satanic Book

Satanic Living

A Map for a Christian Satanist

Christian Satanism

Becoming a Christian Satanist

Christian Satanic Doctrine

Christian Satanic Book One..

CS Book Two, and Three

Lucifer's Book of Inventions and Ideas 1-6

My Anti Christ Game or Movie Parts 1&2

Book of the Five Planets

Book Two of the Five Planets

Prayers to Become Lucifer

All in public domain!

