- I'll have you know
that everyone in the room
just tried to wink.
(laughter)
We don't have a video of it,
but every single person here
was trying their best to wink.
- Called out!
- Hi everybody, it's another Jackbox game.
Let's sound out from left to right,
and then introduce our special guest.
- Hey, it's Brian.
- Hi, what?
- Hey, it's Pat.
- Hey Pat, you're on my left.
You sure are speaking in the right order.
I'm Simone, and I don't
know the difference
between right and left.
- Hi, I'm Jenna.
I'm on the right of Simone.
- Nice helping.
- And we got a couple
special guests this time.
- I don't know if I'm
a special guest or not,
so I was waiting for Julia,
but I guess Julia was going at the end.
I'm Russ! Hello.
- Hey Russ is here,
and we're also joined by the one and only
Julia Alexander. Hi, Julia.
- Hi, hello.
- Nothing to add.
So we're playing Guesspionage this week,
which is kind of like a
crowd-source Family Feud.
I don't know, we'll figure it out.
- Julia is the most
linked in of all of us.
She's got her finger on the pulse.
(talking over each other)
And she has a Linked-In account.
- Alright, Russ has got
the first choice here.
- Okay, pressure's on.
Crackers.
When eating crackers with soup or chili,
what percentage of people
crumble their crackers
into the bowl?
So am I guessing the--
- You're guessing the percentage of people
who've answered this,
and it has to, yeah, precise.
- And then we're gonna guess,
whether or not we think you guessed well.
So there's a lot of layers here.
- That's a generous
helping of crackers there.
- You think that's crazy?
I think that's gonna be okay.
- I think 77% of the time
I put crackers in chili,
but..
- A person that knows how to handle chili
- Do they crumble or do they dip?
- Who dips crackers in their chili?
- I like to eat my chili first
and then eat the crackers.
I like to separate them.
- You like to eat the cereal
and then drink the milk.
- I don't have milk in my cereal.
- Oh come on, that's pretty close though.
- That's closer than I thought.
- Do I get points for being closes?
- Yeah that was super close
so you got lots of points.
- Unfortunately Jenna and Pat
both are not getting points
here, because Jenna thought
it would be a lot lower.
- I thought it would be way lower.
- I thought it would be
just a little bit above
maybe like 78% of people.
I've never put crackers in chili.
Soup's good. Crackers and chili is good.
Frito's and chili is the best.
- The quintessential meal of high school.
Is this all gonna be food based?
- Okay I'm into it.
- Me too, I already ate
so this isn't having any effect on me.
- What percentage of people
have days of the week
designated for specific
meals, such as taco night?
- 100%
(laughter)
- That is Bizarre. I feel like that's
such an antiquated concept.
- Yeah, I used to do that.
I used to do Pizza Fridays, Taco Tuesdays.
- Yeah, I do it with alcohol.
- When someone is doing it
for me, then yes--
- I definitely do it with alcohol.
- So it's whiskey Sunday
followed by whiskey Monday
and whiskey Tuesday.
- My friends and I
used to have malt liquor Wednesdays,
where we would drink 40s of King Cobra
and play Mario Kart until we passed out.
It was a good time.
- I still haven't had a 40 of malt liquor
in my adult life.
I feel like I should--
- You're not missing out.
I feel like you're not--
- Yeah so when you were a
youth Pat did you ever have...
- Oh yeah, that's what my baby bottle was.
- That was a very good guess
- Mm pretty bad there.
- This dolphin makes me think
of BoJack and I'm into it.
- It's a good dolphin.
- Great character.
- Yeah I knew I should've done lower.
- Guys I'm good at video games.
- Thank you guys for talking
about your Taco Tuesdays
and Pizza Fridays I believed.
- Yeah I was tryna throw you off.
I'd never do that, I would never
Sexy facial muscle contractions.
- Yes I know all about that.
- What percentage of people wink
primarily with their left eyes?
- This is very relevant because
of your character model.
I'll have you know everyone in
the room just tried to wink.
(laughter)
We don't have a video of it,
but every single person here
was trying their best to wink.
Called out
I feel like it depends
on which side I blink on.
- Wait, does this include,
is there a third option here?
What third option would there be Patrick?
They don't wink because
they think it's rude.
Someone who doesn't
primarily wink with one eye,
people who are ambieyestrous.
- Ambiwinkers?
- I see what you're saying.
- Ambiwinkers.
- Ambioculus.
- Winking with my right
eye makes me feel like
I'm having a miniature episode.
- For me it depends on--
- How bout that!
I knew it was much lower.
- Depends on what side
of me a person is on.
- That is true.
- It depends on the situation.
If I'm being sassy, it's left eye.
- It feels weird to
blink with my left eye.
- Left one feels sexy.
- I agree with Pat, it's
like a momentum thing.
So if I'm turning, I want
the wink to power my face
because I'm jerking.
- How often are you
like viciously winking
at someone, Jenna, that--
- So often! She sits across from me
and it's just a nonstop winkfest.
- Yes George Clooney over here.
- Okay here we go, what percentage of men
manscape their body hair?
- Hm Imma just say straight
up, men, don't feel
like you need to manscape. Be hairy.
- Don't feel like you need
to call it manscaping either.
- Yeah it's an all or nothing
- Call it taking good care of yourself.
- Oh what's it gonna be?
- It's just body, self care.
- "Queer Eye" taught me that.
- This seems really really
close there.
- I think it's higher
- I think it's a little bit higher too,
but my question is, how many of them
are calling it manscaping?
- Yeah I feel like they'd
be embarrassed to admit to that term.
- It's not gonna be a
semantic question though.
- But that's the question
that they were asked.
- I bet you Jackbox's
audience manscape a lot.
I'm not even shamed.
- Good. Good job dudes
- We're all just talking a statistic.
- Brian and I, neck and neck.
Dolphin and goggle guy.
- Classic duo.
- Classic cop buddy.
- What percentage of
people get more than half
of their consumed chili from cans?
- Like 90.
- Okay why is the word consumed in this?
- Well almost 100% of my
decorative chili is in cans.
- It's definitely like 90% of people.
- I don't think I've ever
eaten chili from a can.
- You're not living.
- You don't live close enough
to a Trader Joe's then.
- Do they have good pre made
you just dump it in a thing--
- Yeah and then you warm it up.
- That does sound really good.
Well easy at the very least.
- The distance between canned chili
and chili you make yourself,
which is almost entirely canned
ingredients, is so small.
- I like easy foods though,
I will like put cheese
on bread and put that in the microwave.
- You put craft singles on a tortilla?
That's dinner man.
- I missed it.
- Canned chili takes
much less time though.
- Oh no.
- You guys convinced me.
- Y'all didn't believe in the--
- In the global power of
- Making your own chili.
- I'm glad I didn't get my vote in
because I voted much higher.
- I should've voted with
my heart and not my head.
My chili heart.
- Aww don't say that, you
have a warm heart Russ.
- Drive-thrus yeah we're
getting all the food here.
- Did you just say drive thrust?
(laughing)
- What percentage of
people have tried to order
at drive-thru windows when
not inside motor vehicles?
- Man we've all been there.
- We've all been teenagers.
- Tried at least once?
- Yeah like we've all been teenagers,
drunk walking through Wendy's.
- Or stone cold sober.
- What about a drive-thru ATM;
Does that count?
- I've done that and it's
always really uncomfortable.
- Yeah I think that would go much lower.
- I'm so bad at guessing things.
- Brian, running away with it now.
- It's times like this that I ask myself,
why didn't I just get it right,
instead of getting it wrong.
(laughing)
- Uh oh scary.
- Oh the final round.
Which movie soundtrack is
most people's favorite?
- I mean Shrek.
- Shit Shit Shit!
- Shrek isn't even an option?
- These are all so good!
- So you choose the top
three that you want.
- In order?
- In order, yes.
- Using global data, not America data,
which I think is important.
- Shit, that's really
important and I wish that
I had thought about that
a second ago, ya asshole.
- I feel like Lion King
is probably higher.
- I mean some of these are scores,
obviously Star Wars is a score.
- Oh we got lots of
people on that Lion King.
- I think Lion King's probably
- Yep not that many there,
some good choices there.
- Dang, Guardians of the
Galaxy, are you kidding me?
- It's all the nostalgia.
- It's a good soundtrack,
but I wouldn't expect it
to trump the Lion King.
- Like Time Life CD for
people over 50 years old.
- I think that's the thing though,
is that it's flexible
listening where as Lion King...
- It's all in the goggles.
- Russ coming in.
- The answers are actually on
the inside of those goggles.
- Well then why didn't you do better?
- You know you gotta make it realistic.
- Sure you've gotta get
a couple answers wrong,
so the teacher doesn't know.
- I like this.
I like losing at this game.
- So since we've got a
couple of new members
of the Jackbox family here,
we're gonna do some
fibbage enough about you.
- I feel like everyone knows enough
about Jenna and Simone, Pat and I.
- I feel that way.
In fact, I think people
know too much about me.
- Julia lives with you,
- I live with Simone.
so she definitely knows enough about me
- So many choices.
- Alright now I get to lie about Russ.
- This is a good one.
- Whoa, I messed up,
nevermind I didn't it's gonna be great.
- So you're not actually tryna guess here,
you're writing an answer that you think
can fool other people.
- I like a lot of these names.
- Woo, yikes, okay.
- Maybe I was mislead, maybe
Russ mislead me on purpose.
- Peebles is great.
I really like Zeppo. It's a good name.
- I like Crunston.
I just like the name.
- Simone how dare you fall into that trap.
- Yeah that seemed like
a Russ's name for it.
- I just picked the funny things.
Which is why I never win at these games.
- No that's fair.
- You can vote for them afterwards.
The ones that you like.
- So you got 15 points.
- Shut up.
It's my day to be a loser.
- One day out of a year.
- The longest line the Jenna
has stood in was for...
those are weird semantics
- Yeah that was weird phrasing.
- Okay, Harry Potter you say?
- Julia, what if it's a trap?
- I mean it's fine.
I will accept it.
- I really want to pet a miniature horse.
- Same bro.
- Do you think the horse is miniature
or the petting is miniature?
- This one's my favorite
answer, cause I would do that.
I went to do that in New York
at an opening of a bakery,
but it was too long.
- Oh geez, someone got
very specific on us.
- Oh Simone, too good.
- Making up for my failures.
- Come on Jenna!
Who was in line in front of you?!
- Did you absorb them?
(laughing)
- You just jumped, you
just skipped like 8 grades.
- One thing that blows Julia's mind
just to think about it is?
- The answer is not sexual,
for what it's worth.
- Well we'll decide.
- Julia I think I pinned you right here.
Not 100% sure, but...
- Alright let's see.
- Let's get her.
- Let's see if anyone really
understands what goes on in my noggin.
(Cackling)
- Wow all of these are so good.
These are all soo good. Oh God.
- I chose the one I want it to be.
- Man, aye aye aye!
I have opinions about all of these.
Everyone is so good at Julia.
- Brian goddammit you keep getting me!
- I really hope it's dandelions though.
- I live with her.
It is dandelions.
- Oh is it a pun?
- No, I just like that they're weeds,
but they're actually pretty.
- Brian I did think it was a pun.
I thought somebody was being
too clever for their own good.
- Pat's feelings about the future
can be described by the word...
(collective laughing)
- I would love just to hear
Pat say all of these words.
- Do it Pat
- Yeah Pat, run through them.
- Just run through them for us.
- I've heard him say a few of them.
- You California teenager.
- I think one of these
is a very obvious Brian.
- Yeah I had a feeling Simone's
very on the nose, very good.
- Yeah buddy, clutch.
- That's what I want for the future.
- Yours was crumdump wasn't it Brian?
- No it wasn't.
- No, mine was crumdump.
Crumdump is a great word.
- It's accurate, I feel like
it's something Pat would say
about the future, when
he got done saying help.
- Oh God, where do you even begin?
- I'm very excited about the answers.
- Why are you laughing?
- My answer was only good
because I live with you.
- Oh no, is it embarrassing?
Is it leaving my hair on the shower wall.
- That is not the nerdiest thing to do.
- "U2 listening to"
- This isn't as bad as it could be.
- Yikes, I like all of these.
Y'all did good.
- "U2 listening to" I love that.
- Use that grammar Pat.
Are you using the things
that you learned about me
just this week as ammunition against me?
- It's the best way, cause
there's a video of Simone
at a K-pop concert.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- It's a true thing.
You read vintage cookbooks?
I didn't know that.
- Do you do anything about
them, or do you just read them?
- I read them for research.
- I'm certainly not gonna cook from them
because they're full of mayonnaise.
- Many answers to this question.
- Interesting. Brian has money
- No he doesn't cause he spends it on...
- Oo some overlap.
- Oh there's lots that are true.
- And he's wearing really nice
socks, and we all see them.
- He's also wearing a bandana,
that is I think a joke fashion.
- You look like you're ripped
right out of The Outsiders,
but with like a hipster...
- That's what I'm tryna go for.
I do spend way too much money
on joke fashion, that is true.
- Gotta know Brian well.
- Accurate, if it's not quite the answer.
- Good call Russ.
- No, dammit.
- They break every two weeks
and I need to listen to Spotify somehow.
- You hipster.
You have a car?
- Yeah I spend way too much
money on having to own a car.
Shittiest thing in New York City.
- So the part I can prepare
for, but somehow never do.
God why do I never think about a lie.
- Okay, after this
recording I'm gonna sit down
and brainstorm 20 of these.
- Only five seconds, four,
three, two, submit submit submit.
- Oh you were saying submit?
- I read exorcize as exercise
and I was like good for you.
- Wait, was the man
convinced he was a ghost,
or were you convinced he was a ghost?
- I was.
- The ghost?
- I was convinced he was.
Julia's on it.
- Brian explain yourself.
- I respect that.
- I swore to God one of the
squirrels in my backyard
I thought he was possessed.
- How did you try to exorcize it?
- Well, maybe my exorcism didn't work so.
- I've seen Jenna in the winter.
- Wait, can one of these be--
- These are both subjective, so gotcha.
- I don't think I know what that means.
I don't know what that means.
- It means like not dressing up.
- I've got fresh summer flare.
- Dress up, dress down
- Dressing down is like more casual?
- Yeah
- Okay, I didn't understand.
- Oh let's see your shoes.
- I'm just gonna lean over.
- The end results are always the same.
- Oh he does like Fire Emblem though.
- Oh yeah, that doesn't count as a game.
- Yeah Fire Emblem's not JRPG.
It's tactical strategy. Very important.
- Nerd.
- What is a fair amount?
How do you judge a fair amount?
- What is an unfair amount?
What amount of snake blood
could Pat have touched
to make me jealous.
- Why are you touching any snake blood?
- I mean it happens, I get
that Pat, Polygon's dangerous.
- Right. I know you.
- Explain yourself.
- Julia's really good at this.
- That's right.
- Goddammit!
- I attended a really bad college.
- And you love La Croix.
- I do love La Croix.
- Brian, you're the very
best at knowing yourself
and knowing your
teammates. Congratulations.
- Julia, thank you for joining us
for a very special Jackbox video.
- Thank you for having
me Polygon video team.
- If you had fun, please
like and subscribe
and mostly subscribe.
- Most likes baby!
- There you are, be like
Simone and give the most likes.
Read Julia's stuff from
the entertainment section
of Polygon.com.
- And do the A Truth and
A Lie in the comments.
Wouldn't that be fun?
- It's a good idea.
- Let's judge you
- Bye.
