

WHO WILL BAIL US OUT?

A PLAY

BY

Emmy Boy

Smashwords Edition

Text copyright © 2014 Emmy Boy

All Rights Reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

All names, characters and incidents portrayed in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Cover Photograph courtesy of stockimages/freedigitalphotos.net

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this free eBook. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy at Smashwords.com, where they can also discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.
Also by Emmy Boy and Available on Smashwords

Ify(A Romantic Thriller) : A young man, who hardly believes in love, enters a bus, meets a pretty young lady, and has some thrilling, wonderful, exciting and shocking experience that completely alters his whole life.

Funny Shady Bible Stories You Were Never Told: A funny compilation of some of the weirdest and funniest Bible stories you were never told.

Getting Him To Stay: Understand him. Know what he wants from you. Make him to commit to you.

# Other Titles Also by Emmy Boy

Ify(A Romantic Thriller) : A young man, who hardly believes in love, enters a bus, meets a pretty young lady, and has some thrilling, wonderful, exciting and shocking experience that completely alters his whole life.

Funny Shady Bible Stories You Were Never Told: A funny compilation of some of the weirdest and funniest Bible stories you were never told.

Getting Him To Stay: Understand him. Know what he wants from you. Make him to commit to you.

# TABLE OF CONTENTS

DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

CAST

SYNOPSIS

PART 1

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

PART 2

Scene 1

Scene 2

PART 3

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

PART 4

List of Words as Commonly Used In Nigerian Parlance

Other Titles by Emmy Boy

About The Author

# DEDICATION

For my niece Ukamaka and my nephew Leo 'de' Great.

#  ACKNOWLEDGMENT

I am so much indebted to all the members of my family for their continuous support and the unconditional love they have always shown to me.

# CAST

PAPA EDU

MA CHIEMEKA

HENRY

EDU

NNEKA

IJEOMA

# SYNOPSIS

Papa Edu, an experienced banker and the head of Okafor family comprising of his wife Ma Chiemeka, their two sons Henry and Edu, and their only daughter Nneka, knowingly helps a customer to obtain a loan at the bank where he works by standing in as the customer's guarantor.

Trouble started when the customer apparently disappeared into thin air with the money without any trace leaving Papa Edu completely stranded and subsequently throwing him into a sudden and very deep financial crisis which led him into making panicky efforts to repay the loan all by himself but all to no avail.

With no hope of survival in sight coupled with threat of a long term jail sentence hanging around his neck and having no one else to turn to, he turned to his family for their full support and understanding during the trying times after narrating his harrowing ordeal to them and they complied and even rallied to see if there was a way they could save his neck.

But in a dramatic twist, it suddenly dawned on the members of his family that their father, under the guise of looking for help, might be taking them for a ride following their discovery of his clandestine alliance with a strange woman.

This did not augur well with the members of his family as they grew more skeptical concerning the whole affair, most especially, when it became so glaring to them that there were no real proof of evidence suggesting that their father could have fallen a victim to that type of scam going by his long years of experience in the banking sector.

Who is this woman and what was her game plan? Was she really trying to help Papa Edu? Or was it the other way round and Papa Edu was the one doing her a great favor? If so, what type of favor could this be? Could it be possible that their father was under a spell and he is being manipulated by this woman?

To make things, Papa Edu who seems to be the only one with all the answers was not forthcoming.

Why?

All these suspicions triggered a lot of confusion and accusations amidst animosity which threatened to destroy the once peaceful family...

When the identity of the woman who has been at the center of the whole crisis was finally revealed, the whole picture became clear as everybody discovered how dangerously close they came to destroying the whole family—in one moment of madness!

NOTE: Certain words and expressions as commonly used in Nigerian parlance were used in the play. Such words were also briefly explained.

#  PART 1

Scene 1

At Papa Edu's house

PAPA EDU

Nneka... Nneka... Nne—ka! Where in the world is this girl right now? (Raising his voice) Nneka!!!

NNEKA

Papa, I am coming...

PAPA EDU

Will you quickly report here before I descend on you? You this stubborn and mischievous child!

(Nneka enters)

NNEKA

Papa see me here. Why do you always like shouting at me like that Papa? What is it again this time around?

PAPA EDU

Come o, look at this girl... come closer! Is it me you are questioning like that? Just wait there let me get you! Children of nowadays... (He shakes his head). Where is your mother? I hope she has not gone to one of those their unending market meetings with all those talkative women.

NNEKA

Papa I don't know where she is.

PAPA EDU

What of your brothers?

NNEKA

I don't know where they are.

PAPA EDU

Hmm, something must be brewing! You don't know, you don't know. Don't worry. I know you will never know. Okay, what about my food? Tell me, when am I getting my breakfast? Or you don't know about that one too...?

NNEKA

I'm still preparing it. I will soon be done.

PAPA EDU

Oh Nneka my daughter! How I wish you'll understand... if only you know... Anyway, there's something I want to tell you—all of you—something very important, so please my dear stubborn child, if you don't mind, I will like you to quickly go and summon your siblings and your mother, okay?

NNEKA

Hmm Paapa... why are you sounding like that? What is it this time?! You know you can never scare me...?

PAPA EDU

Don't be too sure my daughter. Wait until you hear what I am going to say. Something tells me you are definitely going to be scared this time around!

NNEKA

Hmm. In that case papa let me get over with this your food so that you can start telling us whatever it is you want to tell us.

PAPA EDU

(Chuckles) Do I detect a note of worry there already...? I thought you said you can never be scared...?

NNEKA

Papa I don't care. You can detect anything you want. Let me go get you your food.

PAPA EDU

This food sef  My appetite is seriously affected already.

NNEKA

It's okay papa. Let me go and get this food so that you can eat and then tell us this thing that is on your mind.

(Nneka leaves Papa Edu's presence, muttering to herself to express her apprehension. She re-enters carrying the food.)

NNEKA

Papa here is the food.

PAPA EDU

It's okay. Just place it on my table. Bring me some water to wash my hands.

(Papa Edu opens the plates.)

PAPA EDU

Again?! Wait... a minute, what is the meaning of this?! Nneka what have you prepared for me this morning? Oh God! You know I like egusi soup so much and I was already preparing to enjoy another round of akpu with egusi soup. Now what have you done? Who told you to prepare okra soup for me? Knowing how much I hate that soup, huh...huh? Are you sure you and your mother have not conspired against me once more...?

NNEKA

Haba papa! Which one is conspired against you?

PAPA EDU

Oh yes! It is a conspiracy! (Papa Edu stirs the soup with his fore finger.)... And to think that there is no standard meat inside the soup. Nneka come here. Why is there no correct meat in this soup? Oh my God, if not for this terrible hunger that I am feeling this early morning, true to my heavenly God I swear, I will not... nothing on earth will ever make me to touch this your food... believe me!

NNEKA

Papa this is not the first time you have said such things. Seriously, I look forward to the day when you will actually not touch the food...

PAPA EDU

Evil child! So that you will eat the whole food alone eh?!

NNEKA

Papa this one you are complaining about the meal, I hope you have not forgotten the important thing you said you wanted to tell us?

PAPA EDU

Ahem! That reminds me. Where are your brothers? Where did you say they went to? Okay, please go and find them. Call your mother wherever she is. Please go now so that I can enjoy this food with all pleasure in peace.

NNEKA

Hmm, papa! Okay, whatever you are going to tell us, it better be good news o! Anyway let me go and see if I can call mama so that you can let the cat out of the bag...

PAPA EDU

That will be a very reasonable thing to do...

(Curtains fall)

# Scene 2

NNEKA

(Talking to herself) Where can I find my mother now? These women with their endless talkathons! They talk and talk and talk and they don't ever get tired! I wonder what they are always talking about in their endless discussions day in day out. Na wa o

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka! (Raising her voice) Nneka! Is that not Nneka?

(Nneka turns back and sees her mother behind her.)

NNEKA

Ha mama! Thank God o! I was beginning to wonder where I could locate you again.

MA CHIEMEKA

Find me? What for? Am I now like a lost little child that you have to be going about everywhere looking for me all the time? I saw you when you walked pass Ogadimma's compound and you looked so absent-minded which is what prompted me to call your attention.

NNEKA

Hmm! Ogadimma's house this early morning! That means you will still want to go back to that house and continue your endless gossip...?

MA CHIEMEKA

Shut up you bad-mouthed child! I say shut up, you hear me!

NNEKA

(Laughs) Maama! See, my mouth is already sealed!

MA CHIEMEKA

You said you were looking for me so I'm asking you again, why? What for? Why didn't you call me on the phone?

NNEKA

Mama, it's papa again o! I didn't call any of you on the phone because none of you left the house with your phones which is very annoying!

MA CHIEMEKA

Shh, let me hear word! So what about him, I mean, your father? Have you not given him his breakfast? Don't tell me you enjoy starving that man?

NNEKA

I have given him his food. It's just that... the way I saw papa this morning... I'm afraid... Mama let's just go home, please.

MA CHIEMEKA

What is it? I hope you did not tell him something bad? You know, for a girl, you have a very sharp tongue and I have warned you several times to do something about it? Or wait... now I see, it is because I left him to go and see my good friend that is making him agitated already! Hmm... hmm (chuckles) hey, I can't believe it, don't tell me he loves my company that much!

NNEKA

Mama, to tell you the truth, I think it is none of that. I don't know why but I think Papa is deeply pained—and troubled. Remember, I have told you before I have this feeling he's deeply troubled only that he's just trying to conceal it. Now today, he called me this morning and clearly told me that there is something he wants to tell us, the whole family. He was trying to lighten the whole situation but I can still feel something is not just right with him. Well, anyway, he sent me out to go and summon all of you because he wants to say it in our presence.

MA CHIEMEKA

Then why all the fuss? If he wants to talk to us, then let him talk to us. This is not the first time and I'm so sure it will not be the last time he will want to talk to all of us, will it?

NNEKA

But mama I am deeply worried.

MA CHIEMEKA

Worried? Why?

NNEKA

Mama, I don't think you've ever seen him the way I saw him this morning. To tell you the truth, I am so scared. I can't remember the last time I saw him in that mood. Something is really eating him up!

MA CHIEMEKA

Come o Nneka, this thing is beginning to sound less like a joke to me! I hope you are not pulling my legs because I am not ready for such pranks this morning, okay? You and your father... you two will not kill me! If I may ask, you that saw him in whatever condition you said you saw him in, tell me, what could be this thing that is troubling him that I, his wife, didn't even notice?

NNEKA

Mama you just have to see for yourself.

MA CHIEMEKA

See for myself...? Hmm... in that case let's just start going home now fast because from the way you are beginning to sound now yourself, I am also getting scared right now! I think there is fire on the mountain! No, no, no, I don't like the way this thing is beginning to sound now! No, come, let's start going!

NNEKA

Mama, truly you surprise me. One moment you think I am playing pranks on you; the next moment you get the whole gist and you start acting like crazy...

MA CHIEMEKA

It's you that is acting like crazy! You don't know your father! Men! That's how they are... I don't know why they are always concealing things! Always keeping things to themselves! Did you say he told you to call your brothers too? Then you better go and find them!

NNEKA

Hmm. Me, I don't even have any idea where I can find those my brothers... Did they tell you where they were going?

MA CHIEMEKA

(Scoffs) Have they ever told me where they are going? They didn't but please you just go and find them. In fact, let me be going so that you can go and look for them.

NNEKA

Okay.

MA CHIEMEKA

Please go now and find them. You can start by going to that basketball court or stadium where they normally go for their early morning jogging. Also check that place they watch that em... em... what is it called again... champions...

NNEKA

You mean Champions League? How many times have I told you that they don't show Champions League in the morning?

MA CHIEMEKA

Whatever! Please just go and find them. Something in my mind tells me that your father is at his game again.

NNEKA

Mama you better take it easy o!

MA CHIEMEKA

Hmm! Take it easy?! Nneka please run along. Go and call your brothers. And don't even think of wasting any time in that boy's house.

NNEKA

Which boy mama?

MA CHIEMEKA

Seriously? Are you really asking me that question? Wonders shall never end! C'mon will you stop looking at me like that? Yes that your boy! You think we don't know? Look at the way she's looking at me! Ikenna, of course!

NNEKA

Hmm maama! I don't like that o! I've told you several times there's nothing between us...

MA CHIEMEKA

My dear, please leave that one. See my friend; let me tell you, we know these things...

NNEKA

Mama, seriously speaking, I don't know how many times you want me to tell you that there's nothing between me and Ikenna. I just don't know why you keep on bringing up that issue.

MAMA CHIEMEKA

Yes, I know you don't know. Truth is, I don't even expect you to know that but what I expect you to know is that I will not stand the shame of seeing you getting pregnant in your father's house.

NNEKA

Mama, I think you are taking this thing too far...

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka please I am no longer feeling so fine again this morning. Just go and find your brothers, okay...?

NNEKA

Now mama wait, what if tell you it's a lie... that I was only joking...?

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka for your own sake you better don't! Because it is only God in heaven that can save you from what I will do to you! You think you can just come out here, get me hypertensive and spoil the rest of my morning for me just like that, and then you turn around and tell me you were only joking, huh? Hmm! Don't just try it, you hear?

NNEKA

Hey maama it is not a lie! And it's not a joke. Papa really wants to talk to all of us!

MA CHIEMEKA

See, Nneka, come, okay, come my dear. You know you are so close to him. Please my dear, if you have any idea of what your father wants to say, why don't you just tell me now and save me from all these "it is a lie; it is not a lie" wahala.

NNEKA

Why are getting so worked up? See between you and me I don't have the slightest idea of what papa is going to say. In fact, let me start going. Let me go and see if I can locate those foolish boys who can never stay in their own house even for one second!

(Nneka runs along.)

MA CHIEMEKA

(Sighs and starts soliloquizing) Hmmm... these kids with their father! They will not kill me. God in heaven knows they cannot not kill me! Oh yes! I am saying this very loud and with all determination because I want heaven and earth to hear it today! You people cannot kill me!

(She starts marching home frantically, muttering to herself, with so many conflicting thoughts on her mind.)

(Curtains fall)

# Scene 3

NNEKA

(Talking to herself) Where else can I find these boys? I wonder where they could have gone to this early this morning? Ohh! I am beginning to hate this whole thing. And the worst is that I have not even eaten... Besides, what is this very thing that is so important this man wants to tell us...?

HENRY

(Raising his voice) Hey! Come here! This girl! Hey you come here! Nneka! Nneka!

(Nneka turns and sees him.)

NNEKA

(Sighs) I said it! Chiemeka I should have known that you will be here. Of course you drunkard master. I know you have no shame. Chiemeka, my brother, please I'm begging you, have mercy on yourself! Just take a look... around you, the way this whole place is reeking of cigarette smoke and alcohol. Okay. I know you are now into smoking but I'm not surprised.

I know you so I don't even need to be told that you must've thrown your stick away before calling me so that I will not see it and tell papa huh? Alright! Congratulations! But I am just so sorry for you. Today it's cigarette. Tomorrow, who knows, you might graduate into igbo. Ha! Can you imagine? This early morning you have already comfortably settled down in this drinking bar to drink yourself to stupor as usual.

HENRY

Now hold it there, will you! Nneka, I hope you know I will not take that insult from you—today, okay?! (Hisses) I didn't call you here to start insulting me in front of these guys, I hope you know that?! Did you see me smoking? Or are you just looking for something to gossip about me with your Papa?

By the way, even if I was smoking, how is that your business? You must be careful how you talk to me because I am your senior with at least two good years, okay? And one more thing, I don't know how many times I will have to warn you to stop calling me Chiemeka? I've told you I don't like that name? My name is Henry! Henry the Eight! Do you hear me?!

NNEKA

Ok sir! Henry the Eight or whatever you call yourself... I don't care! By the way where is Edu your brother?

HENRY

(Scoffs) Which brother? Please tell me, do I have a brother? Hmm... okay, maybe I do but I can't remember since when it became my duty to be my brother's keeper. Please my friend will you stop asking me all these questions and just tell me why you are acting like this... this hasty... this morning. If you don't have any meaningful thing to say, please just go and let me be so that I can finish this my drink in peace. After all there is no law that says I cannot drink whenever I want.

NNEKA

You forgot to mention smoking too. Please Chieme—ka... okay, okay, okay, sorry, Henry, please it is very important. Please tell me where can I find him?

HENRY

Hmm! What's all this all about? What has Edu done that the whole world is coming after him as if he's Osama?

NNEKA

Henry the problem with you is that you never know when something is serious. Please for crying out loud, papa wants you and Edu to come home now.

HENRY

What! No way! You mean I should leave this my pammy and follow you home just like that?! Ha! Tell me something...

NNEKA

Please. Please. Biko. Okay, if you know where he is, just tell me or better still, call him so that we can go and answer papa's call.

HENRY

Wait... this papa's call, what is it all about?

NNEKA

Search me! Papa just woke up this morning. None of you were at home because due to some reasons I cannot fathom save for that very curse I mentioned, you guys cannot stay in your own house even if it's for one minute! He woke up this morning and told me to go and call of all of you including mama. Mama is already on her way home. He says there's this thing he wants to tell us. I don't know what it is but what I know is that my ear is scratching me already and I can't wait any longer so please let's hurry and go and hear him out. So please, where is Edu?

HENRY

(Hisses) Is that all? So because the old man wants to tell us something that's why I cannot finish this my drink eh?

NNEKA

It's not that. Okay, it's just that the way papa really sounded this morning I have a feeling that something, something bad is in the offing.

HENRY

How did he sound? Nneka relax. In fact, come and take one cup of pammy so that you can relax your brain completely this morning. I think you need it.

NNEKA

(Hisses and raises her voice) Please Chiemeka let's go now! Where is this Edu? Where on earth is this boy now for Christ sake?

HENRY

Please stop disturbing the peace around here! If you want to find Edu why don't you go to that place where I expect you should already know by now he must be?

NNEKA

Where exactly, please?

HENRY

Hmm... So you mean you've not even checked him out at Chioma's place? And you are coming here to disturb my peace?

NNEKA

Chioma? This early morning...? Hmm... what could he be doing in that girl's place by this time of the day? I know I said it before although I was in doubts then, but now I am so certain the two of you must be under some terrible curse, seriously!

HENRY

Are you asking me? What do you think he could be doing there? By the way, it is you that is under some curse!

NNEKA

Are you not his elder brother? You are the one showing him the way and teaching him all the bad things he ever knows and I know he's beginning to follow your footsteps.

HENRY

Nneka, last warning! Watch what you say to me and be careful how you address me! By the way, why are you questioning what Edu is doing at Chioma's place? Look, have I ever questioned what your business with Ikenna is?!

NNEKA

I know that is exactly what you will say...

HENRY

Of course! See, don't you ever think we all are blind because even if all of them are blind, I am definitely not. And I want you to know that I am always watching you.

NNEKA

And who is watching you, if I may ask?

HENRY

It doesn't matter. After all you are a girl and I'm a guy. Let me tell you one thing, so far, your only luck is that I like that boy Ikenna. If not... if not... I'd...I'd have...

NNEKA

(Hisses) Henry please let's talk about something that is more important. Papa is waiting for us, please. Let's just start going to Chioma's place to call...

HENRY

And what will happen to this my drink?

NNEKA

Please Chiemeka Eight or whatever you call yourself, please I am begging you in the name of God, forget this drink! I will buy you two cups of pammy later. Please let us just go—now!

HENRY

Oh that's my girl! Now you are talking! You can now see why I keep on saying you are my one and only sister...

NNEKA

(Sighs) Ohh... Henry! Let's go!

HENRY

Alright, alright, alright, let's just start going before you change your mind. But what if Edu is not there...have you thought of where else you can find him?

NNEKA

That's true. In short, I think we better call him on the phone to know his exact location.

HENRY

Then call him now on your phone while I rush over this drink. I don't think I have airtime credit on my phone.

NNEKA

(Hisses) Is there any time you will ever have airtime credit on your phone? But when it comes to calling all those your small small girls, you will always have credit, for sure!

HENRY

You've started again, huh?

(Nneka brings out the phone and dials Edu's number. Then she listens for the ringing tone at the other end.)

NNEKA

This network sef! The number you are calling is not available, please try again later. Can you imagine that? Gosh, they are not even ashamed! Same old story everyday! Anyway let me try again like they said. Wait... I think it is now going now, it's ringing...

EDU

(Speaking on the phone at the other end) Hello...? Nneka...? Nneka can you hear me? What is it... Nneka...?

NNEKA

Edu where are you?

EDU

I'm at home. Where are you? Papa said you went to call mama and Henry. Mama is at home now. Have you seen Henry?

NNEKA

Oh yes. I'm with him right now. We are coming home right now.

EDU

OK, that's good. Papa says there is this very important thing that he wants to tell us. Please hurry home so that we can hear him out.

NNEKA

That's true. See you when we get home. Bye.

(Curtains fall)
PART 2

Scene 1

At Papa Edu's compound

PAPA EDU

So what is holding all of you up?

MA CHIEMEKA

Papa Edu please I hope you do know that you've just caused my hypertension to come back? We are all waiting for you.

PAPA EDU

Hmm... hypertension? This is serious! Why, if I may ask? Well why don't you just wait until you hear what am about to reveal to all of you and then you will know if you can say that again?

MA CHIEMEKA

Hoo! Please where are these children?!

PAPA EDU

Yes, where are they? Edu where are your siblings? I thought I heard Henry's voice?

EDU

They came in a moment ago. I think they are eating. Let me go and tell them that you are ready.

(Edu leaves.)

MA CHIEMEKA

I wonder what you are going to tell us. See eh... if my mother or my brother in the village has died, why don't you just tell me now? Must you wait until these kids are present before you can tell me, ha? Please Edu, you know I cannot bear the suspense...?

PAPA EDU

(Raising his voice) Now, woman will you stop it! I say hold it there! Don't just get on my nerves now, do you hear me? Why are you always like this? I said I want to start talking in everyone's presence! Always impatient, always worrying... that is what your problem is!

MA CHIEMEKA

Hey! Almighty God I am in your hands! (Raising her voice)Where are these children? Nneka...! Henry...!

(Henry enters with Edu)

HENRY

See me here. Papa good morning sir.

PAPA EDU

(Sniggering) Good morning sir? By this time of the day? Hmm... Anyway, I know you inherited your vagabondage tendencies from your mother's side and not from my...

MA CHIEMEKA

Please Papa Edu stop! I hope that is not the reason why you called us?

PAPA EDU

Ha ha! Where is Nneka?

(Nneka enters.)

NNEKA

Papa I'm here.

PAPA EDU

Yes please sit down. It's okay. Please let's start.

MA CHIEMEKA

Yes I think it's about time we finally start.

PAPA EDU

Mama Chiemeka your mother is not dead. Neither is your brother.

MA CHIEMEKA

(Breathes a sigh of relief) Thank God o! Okay then why did you call us?

PAPA EDU

Henry how long have I been on this leave?

HENRY

Papa I think it's about one month, maybe two months... I'm not so sure...

PAPA EDU

Good. Nneka, do you know?

NNEKA

Papa you've been on this leave for about three months now.

PAPA EDU

Good girl. It will be exactly three months and four days tomorrow.

MA CHIEMEKA

What are all these dates all about?

PAPA EDU

Wait I'm coming. Woman you seem so anxious and you know very well I don't like that! This is something very important that I want to tell of you. I am still considering the best way to go about it and I don't want to be rushed. I hope you get that?

MA CHIEMEKA

Sorry sir.

HENRY

Mama please don't rush him. Seriously, I don't know what is wrong with you... why you women are always like this? Why don't you just wait and listen?

PAPA EDU

Thank you Henry. I came back to this house three months ago with the news that I am on leave. Didn't I?

EDU

You did papa.

NNEKA

And I was... I mean, we were all happy that at least you will be at home with us for some time.

PAPA EDU

Good. The thing is that I was never home due to leave. Actually, I was at home because I have been suspended at the office.

MAMA CHIEMEKA

Suspended... what?!

PAPA EDU

Oh yes I have been on suspension for the past three months.

MA CHIEMEKA

Hmm... this is strange! Very strange! And very serious! Papa Edu what exactly did you really happened? Why? Why are you on suspension?!

PAPA EDU

You see, it's a very long story and that is why I have chosen to tell you about it today. You know I went to see Mr. Okechukwu yesterday. I went there to get the latest update concerning the problems I had in the office. Then he told me that instead of things getting any better like I was hoping for; it is actually getting very bad. And I mean real bad...

HENRY

Papa how bad is it?

PAPA EDU

Henry, very bad! I mean I am looking at the possibility of getting an outright dismissal. But that's not all...

MA CHIEMEKA

Jesus! Hey my God! So my enemies have finally gotten at me. I am dead! I am totally finished! So this is how my enemies are finally going to laugh at me! Papa Edu, biko, what did you say really happened?

NNEKA

Papa you are killing me. Yes please tell us what really happened.

PAPA EDU

My dear it is a very long story. I don't even know how or where to start. Seven months ago this white man came into my office at the bank. He said he was representing his company. He said he had some discussions with Mr. Okechukwu who then referred him to me. You know that I am among the team that seats on all loan granting issues at our branch.

He showed me some papers, I told him to go over the discussion he had with Mr. Okechukwu all over again with me which he did. In short to cut a long story short, he made me understand that he was into importing and exporting. He is mainly into exporting timber and cassava from Nigeria. I listened to him. He said that the problem he had was that he didn't have enough funds to execute the project he had in hand. So that was why he came to our office.

HENRY

Hey Papa, long story short, I think you have been taken! Yes! You have been swindled!

EDU

I think so too... I know where this type of stories normally leads to and how they end...

PAPA EDU

No, it is not that way. Why don't you wait till I finish? So as I was saying, I quickly reminded Ted, that's the white man, his name is Mr. Ted Roberts, I quickly reminded him that... are you listening Mama Chiemeka?

MA CHIEMEKA

Go on. Go on. What else is there to listen to? My enemies have finished me! Will I be able to survive this shame? (Sighs) My God where are you...? What have I done to deserve this? Please somebody should tell me I am dreaming and this is not happening...

EDU

Mama you have not heard the end of the story. Papa has not finished telling his—

MA CHIEMEKA

End of which story? What else do you want to hear again? Didn't you hear your father say that he is going to be dismissed from office? Hey, oh my God! I am going to be a laughing stock...

NNEKA

Papa, is that what you really meant?! Please papa, what really happened?

PAPA EDU

My dear what happened was that when I asked the white what his budget was like, he said it he was looking at twenty to thirty million naira which he plans to obtain as a loan from our bank. He said it was a mega project.

MA CHIEMEKA

Now I see... he wants you to help him obtain the loan, huh?

PAPA EDU

Well, not really... but yes!

MA CHIEMEKA

And you did...?

PAPA EDU

I am coming to that... You see, the thing is that when he mentioned that figure at that time and told me how he wanted me to help him, I panicked and quickly tried to tell him off. I painted for him a very difficult picture of the processes involved in acquiring loans and repaying such loans in our bank all in a bid to scare him off. I mentioned some recent terrible experiences which the bank has been witnessing with our customers obtaining loans and their failures in paying such loans back. God knows I never wanted a part in his business plans...

MAMA CHIEMEKA

But you still did go ahead to help him obtain the loan, right? I know you... I know what you can do? Jesus! What were you thinking, Papa Chinedu...?

PAPA EDU

It's not like that. No, it's not. Why don't you wait till I finish? You see, as I was saying, this Ted Roberts was really determined.

MA CHIEMEKA

Of course, why wouldn't he be? When he must have spotted out that you are a very soft person who can also be easily manipulated—

PAPA EDU

You don't know what you are saying woman. What he told me was that he has been to our bank on several occasions and has asked around and all his enquiries made him understand that I am in a position to help him. That is to say I had the means of letting him obtain the said loan as quickly as possible. When he mentioned that, my apprehension grew so I quickly told him that he was on his own because I am washing my hands off his case.

MA CHIEMEKA

So how did you end up getting suspended? That's because you finally helped him get it, isn't that so?! That's all I want to know!

PAPA EDU

I am coming to that, please. Anyway like I said before, Mr. Ted was very much determined. Three weeks later after we had the first discussion he was back. But this time around he brought a new proposal. He told me clearly that this time the budget has increased. He was now seeking for up to fifty million. He said he...

HENRY

I said it! That's usually their style! They always talk big to make you think they are really big!

EDU

Ha Paapa! At this age of four-one-nine! I can't believe this! You mean you didn't see it coming...?

PAPA EDU

Chinedu will you shut up there! I say shut up! What do you know about 4-1-9? Of course I work in a financial institution so there's nothing you could tell me about 4-1-9 that I don't know! Anyway like I was saying, Mr. Ted said he got a big contract from one of these telecommunication firms in Nigeria to supply the diesel used in powering their generators for their masts but his biggest problem at that time was that he was cash strapped.

He said that he understood how hard it was going to be for him to get that loan going by the fact that he was completely a new comer to our bank. He told me that Mr. Okechukwu has explained everything to him but he also mentioned that Mr. Okey told him that the only way he could obtain a loan of such magnitude very quickly was if he knew someone in the bank who knew someone higher up and...

MA CHIEMEKA

And that someone happens to be you eh? Eh? I'm asking you? That someone happens to you! Hey Chineke  So Mr. Okechukwu, so you are also part of the plan to bring us down? Mr. Okechukwu you have killed me and God knows, it shall never be well with you too!

PAPA EDU

Please woman will you stop cursing!

MA CHIEMEKA

Papa Edu I told you, didn't I? Of course, I know I told you and I hope you've seen it now! I've told you on several occasions that your generosity is getting out of hand. Now where have you landed us all now? Where? Tell me, what do I do now, what are we going to do now?!

NNEKA

Mama please stop it!

PAPA EDU

Nneka your mother is right. She has every reason to be agitated.

HENRY

(Hisses) Yes Nneka, me too, I think mama is right. What kind of generosity is that? Hmm... generosity even to a completely unknown white man...? In this Nigeria of today? C'mon! Is it because he's a white man that's why Papa thought he's incapable of scam? No! No way! Please someone tell me I am not listening to all these—

NNEKA

(Cuts in) Of course Chiemeka you are listening, whether you like it or not!

HENRY

Edu you better warn your sister! Someone should better warn this girl! She has started again! How many times will I warn her to stop calling me that name?! And why should she talk to me like that? Am I the one that told papa to allow himself to be conned? Am I...?

PAPA EDU

Stop! Children, please enough of all these name calling! We don't have time for that so please stop that and listen to me because the matter at hand is very dire.

NNEKA

Papa, please stop frightening me.

PAPA EDU

My dear, believe me, I'm not frightening you. I am just telling you the whole thing as it happened. Like I was saying, the white man was determined. He said that he knew that I was in a position to help him. I think he carelessly mentioned that it will be better if I would agree to use my contacts and position in the bank and help him get this loan. That is to say, in a way, he was actually suggesting we could do a deal. In fact, he made it sound like a good business deal. I help him get the loan; he rewards me handsomely for my effort. In a way he was going to pay for my efforts—and contacts...

EDU

I said it! Now, did he pay? In fact don't even bother to answer because I know how these stories normally end! That's 4-1-9ners for you! That's usually their signature! You make the deal look so good so as to catch another mugu.12

PAPA EDU

(Gives Edu a wicked look) Of course Chinedu I'm getting to that but I'd rather you watch your language.

MA CHIEMEKA

Rewarding you handsomely is what he said huh? By how much was he ready to reward you, if I may ask?

PAPA EDU

Mama Chiemeka please I will appreciate it if you will be more understanding and less sarcastic. It was not generosity per se. Actually, Mr. Ted, said he was going to pay me three hundred and fifty thousand naira but he later raised the ante to five hundred thousand when he brought the new deal.

MA CHIEMEKA

You see it. You see it now? Because of common five hundred thousand naira you agreed to do business with someone you don't know very well. And please, don't tell me you had financial problems! Hey!

EDU

Hmm mama! Five hundred tons is not common o! But anyway, even at that, it is not enough to prevent papa from clearly seeing the handwriting on the wall that he was being set up for a scam. I guess Mr. Okechukwu knew this which explains why he never fronted himself even though he stands to be a benefactor!

PAPA EDU

But you don't understand Mama Chiemeka. It just happened that as at that time I really had some serious financial problems. I was really hard-pressed, you know? I was also supposed to pay these children's university school fees if you remember correctly Mama Chiemeka. I believe you also knew about those three plots of land I bought that I was trying to complete the payment at that particular time. So that was why I later considered the offer. Besides, I had this feeling... that, that... I was not so sure that Mr. Ted will eventually get the loan. But then I decided to give it a try.

MAMA CHIEMEKA

After all, like you always say, there is no harm in trial huh?

NNEKA

Mama, what's your own? I don't like the way you are taking this thing.

PAPA EDU

Nneka leave your mother alone. She has every right to say anything she wants to say because I admit I really made a grave mistake by taking that risk although I doubt if she will ever understand.

MA CHIEMEKA

Understand what? What is there to understand? To tell you the truth, I don't see anything there is to understand on why you, you Papa Edu of all people, with all your years of experience in banking, foolishly agreed to help this white man out?

PAPA EDU

Yes. Believe me, I have been having that same thought too, of lately. It was not that I couldn't have told Mr. Ted Roberts to wait for the stipulated period of time before his application for granting him the loan will be considered. But then, that was just the problem. He needed to do the diesel supply business of a thing fast. According to him, other contractors were also hustling and struggling for the same opportunity and waiting for him to fail so that they will easily grab and wrap up the deal. So there was no time for the official bureaucracy that is always involved in the granting of such request considering the fact that he was absolutely a new customer with no surety.

MA CHIEMEKA

I see... So in the end you agreed to become his surety?

PAPA EDU

In a way, yes!

HENRY

Ha papa! You should have been more careful and—wise.

NNEKA

This Mr. Ted papa, couldn't he have gone to other banks to secure this loan for this company? Why must it be your bank?

PAPA EDU

He did explain to me that he had already done that. By the time he came to us he said it was getting late and again I think I just explained to you that I needed that five hundred thousand at that time. Here is the deal. What Mr. Roberts wanted was for me to use my influence, act as his surety, help him in boycotting the long and tedious procedures involved as regards to the considering and reconsidering of his proposal, secure the loan as quickly as possible and then get paid in the end for all the trouble. I told him to go and come back later that I will give it some thoughts. He was back two days later.

NNEKA

All the while papa, you mean it never occurred to you that this white man could be a fraudster? Or could it be that Chiemeka is right and you do still think like many of our people that white men are not capable of becoming fraudsters?

PAPA EDU

To be frank with you, such thoughts never crossed my mind. Not that I never knew that such things do happen but you know I am a very good judge of men. I know it sounds crazy but there was this thing, this thing about him, I don't know, but there was just this something about him that got to me and made me feel like I could completely trust him. I can swear he never exhibited any of those unspoken tendencies of con men. I have been in this profession for so long so I know what I am saying. But Ted, he appeared absolutely genuine.

HENRY

You mean then?

PAPA EDU

No I must confess that even up till now I still think he was real. I just can't tell why I still feel that way about him.

HENRY

(Sniggers) I see. A very good judge of men you say, huh?

PAPA EDU

So as I was saying... I discussed the issue with Mr. Okechukwu and Mr. Okey thought it was a nice deal. It crossed my mind then to tell your mother but because a part of me wanted the money; another part of me also wanted to help the white man and I knew your mother's ability of smelling danger as well as opposing everything, so I just decided against it because I knew she will kill the plan out rightly!

MA CHIEMEKA

You say I am always opposing, right? Okay, no problem, I agree but now look at what you have done?

HENRY

Wait papa there's something I still don't understand. I think the granting of loans goes with collaterals so which collateral exactly was this Mr. Ted going to use in securing the loan? Or was it also part of the plan that you will provide his collateral?

PAPA EDU

Yes.

MA CHIEMEKA

(Gasps) Oh my god! I am totally finished! What were you thinking, this man? So you want me to believe that you never considered that all we have labored for all these years could just go up in smoke if this your Mr. Roberts or whatever he calls himself never paid up? Chai! This man has killed me...

PAPA EDU

It was not like that.

MA CHIEMEKA

Then tell me how it is, Papa Chiemeka, tell me?! Tell me why you've decided to kill us all!

PAPA EDU

I knew all that. The issue was that since Mr. Ted was going to avoid all the red tape involved, the agreement was that he was going to be making the repayment so soon. I figured that since his line of business was just to make supplies and he was dealing with big telecom firms, that means he will be getting his money back so soon too. The arrangement seemed fine...

MA CHIEMEKA

And so?

PAPA EDU

And so I also decided to facilitate things for everyone involved rather than stalling the business by accepting to provide the collateral needed to get things done fast...

NNEKA

But papa, wait, did the white man provide any form of collateral to you personally? Don't tell me you decided to provide everything for him?

PAPA EDU

Of course! He gave me the papers to two of his cars.

HENRY

(Sniggers) Two cars only? But is that even enough to settle the loan in the region of fifty million naira?!

PAPA EDU

No, it is not. You see, actually the papers were like mere formalities... you know, just to fulfill all righteousness. In essence, I was the one obtaining the loan on behalf of Mr. Roberts who was supposed to pay off immediately and take the papers and the cars back.

EDU

Hmm! This is quite unbelievable! Was the white man using jazz on you papa? Because that's all I can see from all what you've been saying...

PAPA EDU

Why do you young people of today think everything has something to do with jazz or whatever you call it? Listen to me; this was no case of jazz. It was simply a case of doing business. Bankers do things like that all the time. Look at it this way. I bring a customer to the bank; the customer executes the deal with our bank.

The bank makes some money out of the deal. Me, I get some cut too. Do you understand? So the whole thing was just like the normal business that banks are into. The only thing that was not normal here in this case was the fact that the loan will be granted to this man much earlier than the stipulated period of time. Again this could only be possible if the guarantor was an inside man...

NNEKA

In that case, I take it that you are the guarantor?

PAPA EDU

Yes, I am. Okay, I was. Like you rightly observed Chinedu, when you said why didn't Mr. Okey front himself, you see, the only reason why most of my colleagues run away from that type of arrangement is because of the high risk involved as in the case of the person securing the loan failing to pay back.

EDU

But papa how come you knew all these things and yet you still went in for the deal?

PAPA EDU

Chinedu my son, what do you expect? They say everything in life including life itself is nothing but a big huge risk.

MA CHIEMEKA

There he goes again! And you like risks huh? Mr. Risk-taker!

HENRY

But papa, I swear, I never knew you as a gambler!

PAPA EDU

Umm...not really. It was not gambling per se. I still maintain it was strictly business. To be frank with you, I was really looking forward to the next deal and many more business deals with Ted.

MA CHIEMEKA

Business deals my foot! What kind of business do you call it, where you stand a very good chance of losing all your assets and investments in the case of any eventuality? When I told you your generosity is going to be a problem one day, you thought I was mad, didn't you? Of course, you did. You told me to shut up and mind my own business. I think someone is finally learning his lessons...

PAPA EDU

You people still don't understand. What we have is like an internal agreement. Like I told you before, the plan was that Mr. Roberts will be making the repayment so soon. In fact the right people in charge of granting loans, that is our higher-ups, will not even hear about the whole details. We could just make some money for the bank such that by the time the internal auditors will be aware of what really happened, they would be looking at the profit made from the deal. It was just a normal practice. That was just the plan.

MA CHIEMEKA

To me it was a complete stupid and unimaginable risk based on an equally crazy and stupid assumption! The worst fact was that you, Papa Chiemeka, you agreed to bear the worst part of the crazy deal. Can you hear yourself talk? How can you tell me that you based your own your judgment on this Roberts not being a fraudster and you expect me to believe that?! I know you. I know what you can do and I know you just wanted to help him simply because you are yet to learn how to say no! Okay, agreed, you wanted to make some quick money by the side but how come you never considered what could happen if things don't go according to plans! Ha! Papa Edu what on earth were you thinking?

EDU

So papa what happened next? What was actually gave rise to this problem; I mean your suspension—and the likely dismissal which you mentioned?

PAPA EDU

Thank you Chinedu. Like I was trying to say, the whole plan was that Mr. Ted will pay up one month after securing the loan. In fact, it was even supposed to be three weeks but he did not.

NNEKA

Why?

HENRY

Do you still need to ask why? Of course the white man disappeared with the money, simple!

NNEKA

Papa is that true?

PAPA EDU

One month after Mr. Ted was supposed to have completed the repayment, something happened...

MA CHIEMEKA

Don't tell me he died?!

PAPA EDU

Maybe it would have been better if he died.

NNEKA

What? How? Why?

PAPA EDU

Well, you see, Mr. Ted simply disappeared into thin air. Nobody knew what happened to him. Where he went, what became of him? There was no record of his death. Nobody saw his dead body assuming that he was dead. We checked the morgue around town and even beyond. There was no record of any white man's dead body that fits his description deposited. Nothing! Absolutely nothing!

We tried to consult his people in Nigeria. We got nothing. The people we later got through to gave us the impression they knew nothing about what we are talking about. We panicked. It was only on further inquiries that we discovered that contrary to what we really thought or should I say, what we were made to believe, it appeared Mr. Ted was actually running a sort of one-man import and exportation business and those address and contacts he gave us were people he was only trying to affiliate with.

In fact, everything pointed to the fact that Mr. Ted Roberts has simply disappeared into thin air after collecting that huge sum of money! That was when the whole thing started to look like a pure case of 4-1-9!

HENRY

I knew it!

EDU

It then means that this Mr. Ted must be an expert con man. I bow for his modus operandi. How could he have performed this magic? Are you sure he was not working with some Nigerian con specialists? How come he knew this terrain so well?

PAPA EDU

Those are the questions that we all are still desperately searching for the answers.

NNEKA

So papa right now who is going to settle the collateral issue, that is to say, how do you now, I mean, how are you going to settle the collateral now?

PAPA EDU

After it became obvious that something has gone wrong, the people at the higher up got to hear about it and they quickly informed me that nothing could be done to save me unless I repay the loan I took. That's how they put it. They said I should start making plans on how to clean up the mess I made. I was made to draw up a plan of how much I could come up with. After going through my list, I discovered that I couldn't even come up with even a reasonable amount of the money involved.

NNEKA

Your people at the bank, they should have known that you were no way in the position to act as a dependable guarantor to that deal.

PAPA EDU

My dear, how could they have known? I told you it is an internal deal—something we are doing for ourselves, you know? You can't actually blame them because I gave them the impression and the assurance I could handle it; and they believed me. In fact, the blame should go to me because I even had to inflate some of my financial data to cover up and get the deal in progress.

MA CHIEMEKA

So as to achieve what Papa Chiemeka? Papa Chiemeka, you have done it! I just want you to know that you have ruined us all and I hope you can now see that for yourself!

PAPA EDU

I know. That is why I called this meeting so that we can think of the way forward.

MA CHIEMEKA

But wait... I can't believe you are going to share the whole responsibility of paying the whole money back. Those your higher-ups, why didn't they seek or wait for the evidence that you could pay up in the case of any unforeseen eventuality instead of hurriedly granting you the loan? That's recklessness on their own part too, with other peoples' money, and I think they should also be made to pay for it too...

PAPA EDU

The issue is that you still don't understand. What happened was that those guys in our office who agreed to the deal actually wanted me to bear the greater part of the deal. The agreement was that if I could come up with at least sixty per cent of the collateral required, they would consider granting the loan. At that time I thought it was a very nice deal.

MA CHIEMEKA

So you agreed?

PAPA EDU

Yes I agreed.

NNEKA

So papa what is going to happen now? How are you going to settle off the balance?

PAPA EDU

Nneka my dear, that exactly, is the problem right now. Since Mr. Ted disappeared, the whole burden of repayment has fallen on me. None of the men seem to remember the earlier deal we had.

HENRY

So they have abandoned you?

EDU

Henry what do you expect? Do you blame them? Me, I don't. You expect them to suffer for what they obviously had no hand in? If it was you Henry is that not what you will do? I know you Henry; I know what you can do!

NNEKA

Edu the truth is that I don't think you understand at all. You don't comprehend at all, oh yes! How can you say it is not their fault when obviously they should have known that papa was incapable of taking the fall...?

MA CHIEMEKA

(Scoffs) Nneka will you shut up there! What is there to understand Nneka? Do you think everyone is as short-sighted as your father? Why do you always like defending your father in everything...?

NNEKA

Can't you all see it? These people agreed with papa. I am sure they were also expecting their own cut. Now all of a sudden, papa is in trouble and they are abandoning him and disagreeing with him now that there is trouble and you say they should not be blamed. Is that not a sign of clear wickedness?

PAPA EDU

Nneka my dear, you are not getting it. I mean, I understand your concern and I see your point but don't get it twisted, please. I don't blame them not in any way. They did what they are most likely expected to do. We are all businessmen doing business. Nothing personal. The blame is mine after all had it not been for me they would never have got involved with a situation like that.

NNEKA

But papa I still think it is not entirely your fault. You never knew Mr. Ted was going to die... or rather, was going to disappear with the whole money. You thought...

MA CHIEMEKA

That is the more reason why he should have been more careful in the first place and not coming here, insulting and telling us that he is a very good judge of men. We have heard that statement many times without number. Now look where are we? A good judge of men, my foot!

NNEKA

You people surprise me. Don't you understand that papa has a reason for telling us all these things now? And nobody has even asked him why...

EDU

It's true. What has happened has happened so I think this is no time for apportioning blames after all no one can see the future... and to think that papa has been bearing this burden on mind all the while and no one even knew.

HENRY

That's true. But papa why didn't you tell us about this whole thing before?

PAPA EDU

I am sorry. I was thinking there was going to be some positive development, some respite. I was thinking I could get some people to help me out with the repayment process. Who knows Mr. Ted might even resurface. I was thinking I could be able to raise a reasonable amount to settle the collateral within the stipulated time frame. I never wanted this issue to bother you or even interfere with your academics so that you people could study with peace of mind. I never wanted to involve any of you in my mistake...

MA CHIEMEKA

But none of those things happened. So why did you decide to tell us now eh?

PAPA EDU

You see I went yesterday to have some discussion with Mr. Okechukwu to see how things were going. Like I said earlier, when it finally became obvious that there will be no Mr. Ted Roberts, the onus to repay the loan fell on me. The people at the bank they really tried for me. They tried their best. They agreed that if I can come up with a reasonable percentage of the amount to be paid back then they could consider giving me some time to wrap up things while still keeping the whole agreement a top secret.

NNEKA

Papa how much is this percentage you are talking about here? What is the amount involved?

PAPA EDU

It's sixty percent. That should be around thirty million naira or so.

HENRY

Jesus Christ!

MA CHIEMEKA

This is unbelievable. Where do they think you could get that kind of money from? Ha Papa Chiemeka, what have you done! This must be the end!

PAPA EDU

You see, one of the reasons why I didn't disclose anything about this to you people is because all the while I have been battling to see how I could come up with that sum. After going through the list of all my assets and savings including our two cars, I came up with a total sum of close to five point six million naira or something close. If you add this house to those two plots of land we have here in Enugu, it will bring up the sum to a total of close to nine million. Then if you add those three plots of land we have in the village, I think the sum will be approximately fourteen to fifteen point something million or thereabout. Finally if you add Mr. Roberts's two cars then we could be looking at anything between sixteen to eighteen million naira... that's going by my own rough estimation.

EDU

Which is not even anywhere near the sum needed to give you a break?

PAPA EDU

Exactly! I will still have a deficit of more than twenty million—that is, after selling off all I've got!

HENRY

So what you are actually trying to say papa is that we are going to lose all we have to pay off the debt? Now this must be a very bad dream and I must wake up now!

NNEKA

Hmm! Papa what do we do? All I can say is that Satan has finally done his overtime here!

PAPA EDU

Nneka my dear, it wasn't supposed to be that way. The whole agreement concerning the payback was going on fine and I was trying to make contacts to see if I could find people, even some of our customers who will help me out or do a kind of surety for me, or even get the highest bidders for my assets if the worst comes to the worst until about four months ago when a new supervisor was sent to our branch and that changed everything. This guy, he swung into action immediately and he wanted to go over all our books and he also demanded explanation for any form of irregularity found. You don't blame him. I guess he has his own oga to impress.

NEKA

Did the man discover what was amiss?

PAPA EDU

Of course he did. You know the whole deal was kind of crooked. You see, the laid down procedures for granting that type of loan was never adhered to. Like I told you, it was just supposed to be like an inside job. With me standing behind him, we just agreed that within one month Mr. Ted Roberts must have completed the repayment but like I told you, it never happened that way.

MA CHIEMEKA

So what did this your new supervisor do then?

PAPA EDU

When he discovered there was a foul play, he summoned the men in charge at our branch. Those men had their jobs, their careers and of course, their families to protect. So they quickly washed their hands off the deal...

MA CHIEMEKA

So you were left to suffer your faith—all alone I guess, huh?

PAPA EDU

Yes but I don't blame them. After all it was not their fault...

MA CHIEMEKA

Why do you keep on maintaining that it's not their fault? Who told you it was not their fault? Was it not for the greed they harbored that made them agree to that your insensible and unreasonable request for the loan? Like Nneka said, I also believe they were also expecting something from the deal only that they were looking for a scapegoat after all, like they say, it is always good to draw the snake from its hole with another man's hand...

PAPA EDU

You don't understand Mama Chiemeka. Believe me when I say they did what they did just to help me. I don't think there was a time in which they counted on the payback. If you said they wanted to make some money for the bank and by so doing boost their career standing as regards to their promotion, I would agree with you but in this case I know they were just trying to help me considering the fact that I was one of their oldest, trusted and experienced employee...

MA CHIEMEKA

I see. I hope you can now clearly see what that your experience has done to us?!

PAPA EDU

The real problem now is that I think Headquarters suspected that similar shady stuff like this one I am involved in in our branch could be—was going so many other different branches, who knows. You know it is peoples' money that we are dealing with here so that is why the Management is always strict concerning such matters.

Who knows maybe someone might have informed them. That was the main reason why they sent in a new supervisor to us all of a sudden. In fact, thinking about it now, I have this feeling now that the Management was bent on demonstrating to other employees what I call the travails of a scapegoat. Only that in this case I was going to be the scapegoat.

So Mama Chiemeka, I think you are right with that your scapegoat allusion. I guess our people at the higher up knew this very well. That was the reason they quickly washed off their hands when it started to rain.

EDU

So what happened next?

PAPA EDU

Yes, what happened next was that they whole repayment agreement plan I earlier with our people failed. It shattered—completely! I was introduced to the new plan which was to pay the whole sum of money involved, that is the whole fifty million naira plus the accrued interest, according to the way the deal was stated in the paper, within three months or else...

NNEKA

Or else what papa?

PAPA EDU

Or else I get the boot! But first they had to put me on suspension till further notice. I was also advised never to try any funny games like going to court or trying to buy time because the management was completely ready for such games if I should dare try. They said I also risked going to jail. Like I said it was really a hopeless case of the travails of a scapegoat!

NNEKA

Hey papa what are we going to do now?

PAPA EDU

Thank you Nneka, thank you my daughter. That is the reason why I summoned all of you today so that we can put our heads together like one family and see how we may be able to solve that problem.

HENRY

Solve the problem by how?

PAPA EDU

First of all, these things that I just disclosed to all of you here, I want it to remain a very important top family secret. I hope you understand? No questions asked; no answers provided, do you understand? Good. I know that with time some of our nosey neighbors will start asking questions on why I don't go to work again, or why my leave is becoming quite unending and many other similar questions. Mama Chiemeka? Chinedu? Are you with us?

MA CHIEMEKA

Yes I've heard you.

PAPA EDU

The truth is that I don't know who else I can ask for help for now and the worst is that I am not in the position to ask you kids to help me out since I am well aware that there's little or nothing any of you could do to support me financially. But yet, see me here today asking you people for help because I feel that you people can do something... (sighs) I'm so confused.

MA CHIEMEKA

Something like what Papa Chiemeka? Tell me... something like what?!

PAPA EDU

Thank you. You see Mama Chiemeka I know you belong to that women daily contribution thing and you are one of their front liners. I have been thinking... I believe, maybe you can ask them for some help, you know... something like a loan...

MA CHIEMEKA

You and loan this man! When will you ever learn? So with all your so called years and experience in banking you still believe it is normal to repay loan with another loan? Hey God help me o! Yes our women daily contribution is there but how much do you think they can come up with to satisfy the debt owed—that amount you mentioned? And under such a short notice? You know that most of our women are just low income earners just like myself? Besides, the collection of funds is based on rotational basis and my turn has long passed...

PAPA EDU

You have a point there! It's just that I am so so confused right now.

EDU

But Mama I hope you are not saying that you cannot help?

MA CHIEMEKA

God forbid! What I am saying is that it will be very hard for me to get something, something reasonable, from there. So my dear, let's just tell ourselves the truth on time, there is no hope there!

HENRY

Shit! Where else can we look? As for me I am ready to forgo school. I will join one business and see if I can come up with something reasonable to save papa from going to jail.

MA CHIEMEKA

Nice talk Chiemeka! Now tell me what kind of business do you think will be able to allow you make fifty million naira in a space of one month or so or have you not been listening to what your father is saying?

HENRY

But mama...

MA CHIEMEKA

But what?! Don't but me please... sometimes, I wonder how you reason!

PAPA EDU

No! Nobody is stopping schooling! Henry I have known that you are always looking for the slightest opportunity to quit schooling but like I've always told you education, and I mean sound and quality education, is what makes a man! And I must see to it that all of you my kids are well educated. That's a promise I made to myself.

You see, I know I could have gone to our men towns' meeting people for such loan but you know that I am not a steady member of the club so I don't see them helping me out willingly. Asking them for help will definitely make me look like a user who only remembers people only when he needs to exploit them.

Don't forget that they will also like to know what I was going to do with such a huge sum of money, which even as I speak with you here, I am convinced they don't even have...

HENRY

Actually mama, I was just saying. Papa, what of your stock market of a thing? I thought you must have accumulated some wealth from there?

PAPA EDU

It could have been possible before now. But now the stock market is no longer an option now. Have you not been watching the stock market in Nigeria recently? Have not seen the figures in the papers? It appears the global financial crisis of 2008 took its toll on the Nigerian stock market and the market has never recovered since then so Henry my dear, there is no hope there too. To tell you the truth, I have lost more than I can count there when the markets crashed. I believe your mother is also aware of that.

EDU

Hmm... this is serious! What do we do now, what do we do now? Umm... what of forex? Why don't we try forex? I can try forex mama!

NNEKA

Forex? Did I hear you correctly? (Scoffs) Forex indeed! Edu what do you know about forex? Do you think the forex trading business of a thing is as rosy as all those seminar people on radio make it sound? But even if forex was an option Edu, tell me, how long do you think it will take you to amass up to that amount papa is talking about? This is so bad! My brother, leave that one! Besides, from what I've heard, I know you need a huge capital base to start off to stand a chance of making it big in forex.

EDU

I was only trying to make a suggestion. In that case, I can't suggest that we go to money lenders because personally I am always afraid of them after hearing such tales about how they use jazz to perpetually keep their debtors in debts and unable to pay back while the interest on the borrowed money continues to accrue. But by the way who told you need a huge sum to start forex business? I hope that's not what Ikenna is filling your head with? Well, you might be right because I know the guy trades forex.

HENRY

Hmm, then what do we do? I think there is a real fire on the mountain now! But where do we run to?

MA CHIEMEKA

The fire started immediately your father agreed to help that wicked Mr. Ted.

PAPA EDU

I give it to you. You have a point there woman!

HENRY

(Scoffs) Sometimes I just wish I was a Yahoo boy. At times like this we would be laughing rather than feeling sorry for ourselves like we are doing now.

NNEKA

Yahoo boy indeed! See your head like yahoo boy. You think doing yahoo-yahoo is possible for everyone and most especially for people like you? Look let me tell you, yahooze is not for people like you because most of those yahoo guys are very smart and sharp and not blockheaded pammy drinkers like you! So my friend will you stop joking and think of something reasonable...? Besides, I hope you have heard of EFCC?

EDU

Hmm wow! (Bursts into laughter) One! Two! Three!!! Bam! That's a smack down! Henry, Nneka has completely sliced, slaughtered and torn you apart! Hope you can still come back from this one? If I were you, my blood will be boiling hot already and I will be wringing someone's neck by now...

HENRY

Edu will you shut up your mouth there! Who do you think you are taunting there? And as for you Nneka, you just wait for it, girl. You have just stepped on the lion's tail. Oh yes, you have just asked for it and I hope you are ready for what comes next?

NNEKA

(Scoffs) What are you going to do? Edu please, will you stop joking? We are talking about something serious here! Mama wait! What of your friend mama Chinwe, Chief Ojemba's wife? She can help you...

MA CHIEMEKA

Help how?

EDU

Yes mama that's right. I think Nneka has a point there. She can help you; after all she is your very close friend.

HENRY

Of course mama! She will definitely help you! Why didn't I even think about that first? Is her husband not one the richest men in this area? C'mon Mama if you really take Mama Chinwe as your true friend and if Mama Chinwe equally sees you as her friend, then I think you should solicit for her husband's help through her and save papa from being disgraced and sent to jail, and also save our family from the big shame.

MA CHIEMEKA

You talk as if it is that easy Henry. Have you forgotten that she is married to her husband and as long as she is still living in Chief Ojemba's house, she belongs to chief, her husband, and the money you talking about is not her money?

EDU

Mama that is exactly what we are saying! You tell her to discuss the issue with her chief. Hopefully something positive can come out from there!

PAPA EDU

Wait children! Wait Mama Chiemeka... wait. Discussing it with Mama Chinwe, don't you think that will violate our secrecy code of conduct?

NNEKA

Hmm, Papa, what secrecy code of conduct are you talking about? Look eh, in my honest opinion; there are some things that should not, cannot and must not be heard by only one ear alone! Papa I think this issue we have at hand here is one of such things!

MA CHIEMEKA

But wait, Nneka listen to me, I think your father has a point there! You know us women and how we talk and gossip? Before you know it this family will become the talk of town. A lot of people including those who know us and those who don't will hear about the whole thing! They will proclaim that your father is a thief; they'll say I am married to a thief and they'll conclude that you children are nothing but children of thieves. In short, they will call our family a family of thieves. They will call us criminals! Just imagine that kind of situation! Me, I will not like that kind of thing to happen.

HENRY

So let me get you correctly, papa gets sacked and goes to jail and we lose everything then? And people will still not talk, right?

MA CHIEMEKA

No it is not that way. What I'm suggesting is that we could come up with a different story...

EDU

But mama this issue demands immediate attention. Let us look at the big picture. If we could get this money from somewhere and save papa from being dismissed, then none of those obnoxious things you mentioned will happen. But right now, I don't see any other type of story that can best describe the kind of attention this matter demands to any interested listener apart from telling the gospel truth. Oh yes, I think the truth is what we need here! Let's just leave keeping it a secret of a thing alone. Like mama said, people do talk and they will still get to hear about it one way or the other.

HENRY

I totally support Edu. I think he has a point there...

NNEKA

Me too!

MA CHIEMEKA

So we stick to the truth eh? Okay let me ask you people, how much do you even think Chief Ojemba will be providing, assuming he decides to help?

NNEKA

At least mama, chief is very rich. Anything that he can come up with will just be okay just to show the bank people that we are ready to do something.

MA CHIEMEKA

(Soliloquizing) Ha, Mr. Ted Roberts! Where are you?! You have completely finished me! Why are people like this? Why are people so bad? What have I done to you, Mr. Roberts? That you will you want to be enjoying your own life but you don't want another person to do the same thing...? God knows I did not take from your father or from your mother.

Just tell me because I want to hear it now, Mr. Roberts, what have I done to you that you've decided to do this very terrible thing to me? It shall never be well with you wherever you are. Before God and man I say this, you shall know no peace again in your life. May your pathway be riddled with thorns!

PAPA EDU

(Sighs) Although I know I needed to unburden my heart, but this is why I said initially that I don't know how to present this issue to you people. Now everybody is involved. Our happiness is gone! Oh what a life! And even if we succeed in getting some help from Chief Ojemba, that is another debt to be settled. O God why me? Why is this thing happening to me right now?

EDU

See papa, leave that aspect of settling the debt alone. Presently what we really need is to save our neck from the impending disaster. We'll surely find a way to settle the other debt later.

HENRY

Hmm... na wa o! Edu you surprise me o! Look at you. You are no longer talking like the small boy that you are. That's very commendable.

NNEKA

Henry this is a serious issue. Chinedu is making some good suggestions here and you shouldn't taunt him. What we need is your useful contribution and not calling someone a small boy. You know you piss Edu off when you say such things?

HENRY

Hey... hey... hey, I wasn't talking to you, okay?! Look who's talking! So you know what pisses people off, huh? Anyway what I'm saying is true and if anyone knows any way in which we can save papa and this family from this shame, let the person say it now! I am all ears...

NNEKA

(Hisses) You problem is that somehow you never seem to know when something or anything is serious.

MA CHIEMEKA

Stop! Stop that you two, will you! We should concentrate and be focused.

PAPA EDU

So Mama Chiemeka will you tell your friend about the help we need?

MA CHIEMEKA

Of course I will.

HENRY

So mama when will you go and see them?

MA CHIEMEKA

Right now; right away. I will be leaving immediately.

PAPA EDU

Mama Chiemeka it is only God that can bless you for this thing you are doing for me. In fact God will bless this whole family. I never thought all of you will be so understanding and collective. I believe this shows that there must be a saving grace somewhere somehow.

NNEKA

I will so much like to believe so too.

MA CHIEMEKA

In fact, we need nothing more than serious prayers for God to see us through...

NNEKA

You are right mama. We need to put everything in prayers.

(Curtains fall)

# Scene 2

At Papa Edu's compound

NNEKA

That's mama coming. Thank God. I was beginning to get worried. Mama welcome. What kept you so long? And how did it go...?

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka my dear, please come let's just go inside.

(Both of them go inside the house.)

NNEKA

So mama how did it go?

MA CHIEMEKA

Are you alone? Where is your father? And the boys? Where are they?

NNEKA

He has gone out to somewhere. He said he was going to meet some people and will be coming back very soon. I think Edu has gone to see his classmate or something. I don't know about Henry, maybe he has gone to see one of his crazy friends. So mama how did it go? Did you see Mama Chinwe?

MA CHIEMEKA

Yes. Yes I saw her.

NNEKA

And you told her everything?

MA CHIEMEKA

Yes.

NNEKA

And...?

MA CHIEMEKA

And what?

NNEKA?

And what did she say then?

MA CHIEMEKA

(Flares up) Nneka please give me a break! I need to rest for a while. Stop barging me with all these unending questions!

NNEKA

Ha maama! Why are you sounding like? I hope everything went well? Please tell me what happened there at Mama Chinwe's. You know I am very worried!

MA CHIEMEKA

Do you think you are the only one who is worried? Let me tell you something I am beginning to see now. You see, from the outlook of things, this whole affair is going to affect us much more than we even think.

NNEKA

How do you mean, mama? It seems to me like your mission to your friend's house was futile.

MA CHIEMEKA

Oh yes it was completely futile. A mission in futility! That is what it is. Nothing could describe it better. Maybe I shouldn't have gone there...

NNEKA

Hey mama what really happened there?! Don't tell me there is no hope mama?

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka the truth is that your father has succeeded in killing us all. I told him, didn't I? I keep on saying it. I told him that his generosity will land him in trouble one day but he didn't listen, now this...

NNEKA

But mama you know that has always been his nature. You cannot change that.

MA CHIEMEKA

(Angrily) But it was getting out of hand, that's my point! How can you comfortably go out there and use other people's money as if it was your own not minding the likely repercussions all in the stupid name of helping someone in need? What do you call such an act? To me that is the mark of utter foolishness and stupidity in the highest order!

NNEKA

Mama, please calm down. I thought we have gone all over that issue. Yes the damage has been done. We are looking for the solution and that was what I was expecting of you to brief me on what happened at the place you went to and not this your lambasting papa all over again...

MA CHIEMEKA

Sharrap you stupid daughter! I say sharrap! I don't know why you are always ready to defend your father in everything! I can't believe this. I am here telling you that he has killed us; and you are there saying that the damage has been done. Of course the damage has been done! So now you tell me, what do we do now?!

NNEKA

(In a very submissive tone) Sorry. But mama I thought that was the reason why you went over to see Mama Chinwe?

MA CHIEMEKA

Of course I went to see Mama Chinwe. And we had some discussions... some very deep deep discussions.

NNEKA

And so tell me, what happened?

MA CHIEMEKA

Let me sit down first. Nneka my dear, you see in this world, everyday is a new day and there's always a lesson to learn. Today I think I've learnt mine.

NNEKA

Hmm, what did you learn? Mama you are now speaking in riddles just like papa. What is really happening? Please someone tell me before I finally go insane!

MA CHIEMEKA

My dear you will not go insane. God forbid! Never! Why should you say something like that?

NNEKA

Then mama tell me happened! This whole suspense is killing me! All of a sudden, you are beginning to sound so mysterious like papa and I am not comfortable with that at all at all!

MA CHIEMEKA

Well my dear, nothing happened. It's just that... it's just that... how do I even start?

NNEKA

It's just that what... maama?

MA CHIEMEKA

How do I even start? You said your father is not around? I would have loved it so much if he was here to hear what I am about to say. Maybe he'll learn something from it too...

NNEKA

So mama it is now your turn to summon all of us eh? Alright. So I should go and find all of them again? Ha, maama you people should please have mercy on me! Tell me what Mama Chinwe told you.

MA CHIEMEKA

You see eh, do you that sometimes your father could be right in the wrong way?

NNEKA

How?

MA CHIEMEKA

Okay. You remember that when your father was debriefing us this morning, he mentioned that he does not want any other ear outside this family to hear about the issue?

NNEKA

Yes.

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka, your father was absolutely right!

NNEKA

Mama I don't understand. What has that his statement got to do with what happened at Mama Chinwe's place?

MA CHIEMEKA

Wait, I'm coming to that. Now listen, your father was right! Absolutely! See my dear, do you have any idea, I mean have you ever given a thought the number of families that could be going through some form of financial problems right now? Have you? Well, I tell you, so many families are suffering from one form of untold tribulation or another and you will never know unless they tell you!

NNEKA

How do you mean mama?

MA CHIEMEKA

Do you know that all is not rosy for Chief Ojemba's family? Can you believe that? Do you believe that all the while that I have been going to that house, and I have been laughing with my friend and thinking that she's so lucky because she had it so good, I never knew that they also had some form of serious financial problems? And you can never look at them and see it!

NNEKA

No! It is not possible. Are they not one of the richest families around here?

MA CHIEMEKA

Exactly! That is exactly what I'm saying! And all this time, my friend has never bothered to tell me what was amiss. Hmmmm... no wonder!!! Now I am beginning to understand why Mama Chinwe has not been her usual jovial self for quite some time now!

We all thought it was some strange illness. She even said it was malaria or something like that and we just let it go. I think I should have known! Anyway, I think that's just the way life is. So my daughter Nneka, that is why I said that your father was absolutely right when he warned us about the secrecy that this whole thing demands.

NNEKA

Mama, I still don't get you.

MA CHIEMEKA

My dear this is what happened. You see, I went there to see my friend and we got talking. Somehow I remembered your father's warning and I decided to approach the issue cautiously and indirectly, you know, the whole keeping it a secret of a thing...?

NNEKA

Yes... I know, you mean you did not tell her the truth?

MA CHIEMEKA

Not directly per se. First I decided to engage my friend in some discussion different from what I had in mind but somehow I noticed she was not all that coordinated—or should I say she was not all that interested in what I was saying?

I think she was lost most of the time and she kept on forgetting and repeating herself. At a stage over conversation became so one-sided or maybe she just wanted me to go straight to the point, with the way she was acting so impatient. I think she couldn't take it no more so she asked me what the problem was. I saw that as an opportunity to tell her what was actually on my mind.

I quickly told her that there was this my husband's very close friend whose husband has got mixed up in some financial messy deal at his office. I told her that the man desperately needed help he could get by all means. Just to give her a picture of the magnitude of the problem, I further added that this man in question is already under suspension and he could be facing immediate sack from his work place...

NNEKA

But that's laughable. Don't you think she could have easily guessed it was papa at least going by your concern?

MA CHIEMEKA

Maybe... Of course I had to include your father's involvement in the whole case by telling her that your father co-signed the document which is why he is involved.

NNEKA

Anyway, what did she do... say next?

MA CHIEMEKA

Well, she just kept on listening. At a stage I had this feeling she was not paying full attention to me. It was like something else was on her mind so I called for attention. She told me she was listening quite alright. After listening to my blabbing tales on how this man ended up getting himself mixed up in the serious financial mess without saying anything for some ten to fifteen minutes, she suddenly cut me short by asking what I think could be done for this man – my husband's colleague.

NNEKA

And what did you say to her?

MA CHIEMEKA

I was kind of shocked... and confused because I have never seen her act so forward before. Maybe I thought she was not buying into the story. Or maybe, like you said, she guessed it was your father, I don't know. Maybe she was even angry with me for lying to her... her own close friend, who knows? I can't tell...

All I knew was that I was so shocked and confused by her directness which threw my off balance which further explains why I couldn't even mention any specific figure when she asked. To tell you the truth, I never knew the exact amount I could be asking for. In fact, I think that was the first time I got a glimpse of how futile and hopeless the whole idea of going to ask them for help really was.

Anyway, as I was saying, I did a quick mental recall and I remembered your father saying that the amount he could come up with after calculating all our assets was around fifteen million or thereabout. That was the dilemma I was in. And I didn't know how to go about it.

NNEKA

So what exactly did you say to her then?

MA CHIEMEKA

My dear, it wasn't easy at all. My mouth was shaking. I could feel myself trembling. I was thinking about the thirty million that could at least buy some time for your father and also save our face in the process but that was not even my major concern. I was completely lost in deep thoughts. A lot of things to be considered were going on my mind at the same time.

I mean, come to think of it now, what was I even thinking then? To tell you the truth, I felt so stupid! How was I going to ask a fellow woman to ask her husband to lend us such a huge amount? For what reasons? And what was our repayment plans? How long is it going to take for us to pay them back completely? Or are we expecting them to just dash us the money just like that?

Okay tell me, you that always like defending her father, what reasonable excuses are we going to give them when we default in the repayment, something I know is definitely going to happen for sure and they start getting on our back; that is, assuming they even give us the money in the first place? I am talking about close to thirty million naira! Oh yes! Who in his or her right senses is even going to lend you that type of money in the present day Nigeria going by how difficult things are economically in this country at the moment?!

My God! Those were the things that went on in my mind as I contemplated on the right amount to mention so as to avoid mentioning a figure that is either too much or too less. In fact, to tell you the truth my daughter, it was also at that very moment that I realized the humongous extent of this whole problem your father has stupidly and blindly plunged us all into.

NNEKA

I know you will never stop blaming papa but that's okay. My question is still what eventually did you say to her?

MA CHIEMEKA

Well, finally, I decided to tell her we needed like ten million to solve the problem.

NNEKA

Ten what?!

MA CHIEMEKA

Oh yes, I told her we need like ten million. Hey, don't blame me and please will you stop looking at me that way! You think I don't understand the seriousness of this whole thing? Of course I know that it is not anywhere near the exact amount we needed to set your father free but at the same time, I was purposely reducing the amount with the hope of going back to them again to them again to ask for another round of help.

But I was also afraid because I know that if and when I come back, I am supposed to have another incredible story for them because and by then, they will surely start wonder what my connection with this unknown man that they are helping out on my behalf really is.

Then the whole story will come out like pregnancy together with the fact that I lied to my very good friend in the first place. That is something I will not like to see happen. Then there is also this question of repayment. Nwa m, to tell you the truth, I was so confused.

NNEKA

And so? What happened? Did you increase the figure?

MA CHIEMEKA

Well, yes I did. I finally told her it was around fifteen million.

NNEKA

Fifteen?! Hmm, okay. So how did she react?

MA CHIEMEKA

What do you expect? (Scoffs) Nneka my dear, I'm telling you, if I had known, I shouldn't have even bothered—to go there.

NNEKA

Why do you keep on saying that?

MA CHIEMEKA

Now here's the thing. The truth I learnt today was that truly, all that glitters is not gold.

NNEKA

How?

MA CHIEMEKA

You see after I mentioned that figure, I noticed that my friend was silent for sometime. I thought that I had blown it. My one thought then was to tell her immediately that the person involved was actually my husband and him alone. But then I thought that will now amount to telling lies. Although we are great friends but I couldn't bet on mama Chinwe being so understanding. So I waited too. After taking her time for what seemed to me like eternity to me and it was as if she was considering my request over and over in her mind, she suddenly came alive.

NNEKA

Mama, believe it or not, I still don't know what you are driving at! Did Mama Chinwe agree to help you or not? What do you mean by all that glitters is not gold?

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka my dear, what I mean by that is that all the while Mama Chinwe kept silent, could you believe she was actually considering telling me what was amiss in her own household?

NNEKA

What on earth is actually going on in her family?

MA CHIEMEKA

You see, the thing was that for the past two months, Chief Ojemba was living under a huge debt. Could you believe that? Could you imagine that?!

NNEKA

No! How?

MA CHIEMEKA

That's what I'm saying! Mama Chinwe told me it was their family secret. They never wanted people to hear about it. I don't understand what is going on again in this our society. A lot of people are living with one family secret or another. The funny thing is that they don't want another person outside their family to hear about it. Now tell me Nneka, how can you get solutions to your problems if you don't tell other people what is going on? That is what I learnt today.

NNEKA

Wait a minute... you mean even the great Chief Ojemba owes? Hmm, wonders shall never end!

MA CHIEMEKA

Exactly my thoughts! And you wouldn't believe it, would you?! You know Chief Ojemba is majorly into fish importation business? According to my friend, around three months back, two of Ojemba ship sunk at the Pacific Ocean. It was terrible. She said her husband lost more than three hundred and fifty million naira in that one single mishap!

NNEKA

God of mercy! That is quite unbelievable!

MA CHIEMEKA

I am telling you! And you will never believe such thing ever happened! How they were able to carry on as if nothing that serious happened is what baffles me the most.

NNEKA

Hmm. Why didn't they tell anyone?

MA CHIEMEKA

That was exactly my question but I can now easily see why. I tell you it is the same reason why your father never wanted any other person besides us to hear about this whole thing.

Mama Chinwe told me that they knew what people would most likely do if they hear about their calamity. She said she knew many people would laugh at them. She said some people will definitely come and start shedding crocodile tears for them.

She also said some people will even say they are getting what they deserved; they'll say all sorts of terrible, unkind and hurtful things about them. She said people will draw conclusion that they were paying for their sins because of the fact that it was not just one ship that sank. I don't blame her. You know how superstitious our people can be?

She said people will then call her family all sorts of bad names like evil doers, murderers, and ritual killers and conclude that their misfortune was nothing but a payback time for them. That was what she said.

NNEKA

Hmm!

MA CHIEMEKA

Yes. It's a pity but that was the reason why they decided to go at it all alone. Imagine she did not even bother to tell me, one her closest friend, to tell you the extent of seriousness of the whole thing. And if I didn't go to her place today, who knows, she might have never disclosed such a thing to me. That is the extent of the whole thing. She was telling me now just to let me know that she and her husband were not in any possible position to help anybody out financially right now.

NNEKA

Mama?

MA CHIEMEKA

What?

NNEKA

I don't know how to say it but do you...? Do you think she could be lying? I mean, is it possible she is lying—to you?!

MA CHIEMEKA

Will you shut up your mouth there! Lying? For what reason? Please don't go there! I know my friend so well and lying is not one of her faults.

NNEKA

Hmm! In that case there is trouble because from the look of things right now, it looks like there's no hope for us now!

MA CHIEMEKA

I said it, didn't I? I've said it so many times. I said that your father will kill us all one day. Now he has done it. We cannot help ourselves. Nobody can help us out now. We are going to lose everything. I mean everything!

And do you know the worst part? We will still be in debt after that! Ha! Papa Chiemeka, what have you done? Mr. Ted Roberts or whatever you say your name is, I'm still saying what I said earlier, it will never be well with you—in this life and the one to come next!

You have decided to fool my husband because you saw he's a very simple-minded person. You have succeeded for now but for how long? Soon your sins will find you out and you will come confessing. I know one day the good Lord that I serve will answer my prayers. He will find you out wherever you are, you evil man...

NNEKA

Mama it's okay. What did you say to Mama Chinwe? How do they survive now?

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka my dear leave me alone. I am finished, I am totally finished! What did I say to Mama Chinwe? Of course I ended up consoling her because it appears that our own problem is nothing compared to the deep shit they were in. She cried. I could easily she needed to talk to someone. She told me that their survival now is by His grace. She said they are now heavily dependent on their relatives abroad.

NNEKA

Mama I am afraid. So it means that we will lose everything and papa will still go to jail? Ha! What kind of bad luck is this? Who will bail us out? Who will bail us out now?

MA CHIEMEKA

That is the question! That is my fear! I don't know what to do again now. I think your father said that the bank will be moving in against him in one month's time? What do we do from now till then...? What's that noise coming from that room? I thought I heard footsteps. I thought you said nobody was at home?

NNEKA

Yes.

(Edu appears)

EDU

Mama it is only me. I came in from the backyard.

MA CHIEMEKA

Did you hear what we were saying? How long have you been standing there listening in?

EDU

Of course, I heard most of it.

NNEKA

Edu I think there is serious trouble!

EDU

I think so too!

NNEKA

Edu what do we do now?

EDU

I'm afraid, I don't know. I can't think of anything now.

MA CHIEMEKA

I think it is time we should put this family into prayers. We need serious prayers now like never. I don't know what else to say or do!

(Curtains fall)

# PART 3

Scene 1

At Papa Edu's compound

NNEKA

Mama... mama... mama where are you?

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka what is it again this time?

NNEKA

Mama please it is something important. Please let's go inside where nobody can hear us. I have some important information for you.

MA CHIEMEKA

This child, you have again! So what is it this time? Please I think I have had enough shock these two past weeks. Since that day your father told us about the impending doom, you know that I have not recovered from that shock. Now have you come to kill me finally?

NNEKA

Mama you know very well that you are not the only one suffering. The whole issue has affected everyone in this house. Look at us; we have lost our appetite for food in this house. We don't even converse much any longer in this house. Edu and Chiemeka are hardly seen at home these days!

Even my friends are beginning to complain and wonder. Some said I'm growing thinner and thinner. In fact there is this sadness coupled with the growing sense of fear and danger that is always hovering around the corner since that day that papa spoke to us. I don't know if you have observed that papa is hardly at home these days... and that is even why I want to speak with you.

MA CHIEMEKA

Hmm. You and your father again!

NNEKA

Mama, please listen and answer me. Have you noticed that since that day papa told us about his predicament, he is no longer staying at home like he used to do when he started his leave?

MA CHIEMEKA

So? Nneka, what is that again this time? What are you driving at? Are you insinuating something? Is there really something you want to let me know?

NNEKA

Yes mama but you have not answered my question.

MA CHIEMEKA

Hmm! Of course he is hardly at home nowadays but that is not strange. After all he is out there trying to find help. And I believe you and I know that is exactly what he should really be doing. In fact, that is what all of are supposed to be... well, should be doing right now instead of trying to scare others.

NNEKA

Mama, are you sure you are ready for what I am going to say?

MA CHIEMEKA

This terrible child, you will not stop surprising me. What do you want to say? Say it! Say it now and stop trying to blow the alarm whistle once again. I think we have had enough of our own share of that type of...

NNEKA

These two weeks have been so terrifying for all of us, you know?

MA CHIEMEKA

Yes.

NNEKA

That is the reason why I don't want to introduce another angle to this whole issue at hand in such a way that will aggravate the whole matter but in this case I think I have to tell you!

MA CHIEMEKA

This is getting serious. Now Nneka, tell me... what is the problem? Wait... come here girl! Tell me the truth. Are you pregnant? Come here let me have a closer look at you...

NNEKA

Mama please stop! I am not pregnant but what I want to tell you will shock you. It shocked me when I discovered. I know you have high B.P. and that is why I am afraid.

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka my dear, please come. Tell me what happened. What is the problem? Is it your father? Or is it Chiemeka? What has he done now? Is he in any police case now? Or is it Edu? Who is it this time? My dear, please talk to me. I am all ears now.

NNEKA

Good. Now I think I have your full attention! So mama will you please answer my question now? Have you noticed that papa is hardly at home these days?

MA CHIEMEKA

What is this all about? Of course I have noticed!

NNEKA

And what do you think or say could be the reason for that? Don't you think it's strange?

What do you think must have led to this behavior?

MA CHIEMEKA

Hmm! Nneka what are you getting at? I told you before. I believe he is seeking for help somewhere... anywhere...

NNEKA

Mama, but have you ever bothered to ask him how far he has gone in getting this so-called help?

MA CHIEMEKA

My dear, why are you bringing up all these? Of course I think I have asked him several times but wait... you are even supposed to be the one asking him those questions. You know you are his wife... the one that is closest to him?

NNEKA

I see.

MA CHIEMEKA

What is it you see? This girl, stop playing with me. I am not ready for that—right now. I think you should know that by now...

NNEKA

Well... mama please listen to me now. Papa is not seeking for any help. I think Papa is seeing another woman!

MA CHIEMEKA

What?! What did you just say? God punish you for saying that! How on earth can you say such a thing?

NNEKA

Well you see now! That is what I'm saying. I don't know how to break the news to you but since it's out; it's out!

MA CHIEMEKA

Come... come here Nneka. Come and sit down? What did you just say, my dear? Come again, please! You said your father is doing what...?

NNEKA

Mama I said that papa is seeing another woman.

MA CHIEMEKA

Haa! Lord have mercy! What is this world becoming? No, no my dear, no, it's not possible! No! No way! It's a lie!

NNEKA

Mama it is true. I don't have any reason to tell you if it is a lie...

MA CHIEMEKA

This is serious. How did you find out? Who told you?

NNEKA

Mama to tell you the truth, it was also strange and shocking to me when I discovered. Mama, I know you've always said I like papa so much and it's true so I guess you will understand when I say I so much concerned and so afraid for him since that day that he shocked all of us with that horror tale. I became so troubled when it appeared that there was no help coming from anywhere.

I was desperately praying that somehow we could get help. That has not happened up till now. I am also aware of how deeply troubled you have been in the past few days. So the fact is the whole terrible situation has affected us all so much.

MA CHIEMEKA

So how does that concern this very disturbing news that you just told me now... that your father is seeing another woman?

NNEKA

Yes. You see mama, since that very day, I started to pay extra attention to papa's affairs. I had to because I was deeply worried. I know that different people react to different situations in different ways...

MA CHIEMEKA

My dear, I still can't make any head or tail of this thing you are telling me right now. This is quite unbelievable. Okay, tell me. How did you find out?

NNEKA

Wait woman, don't rush me! I am coming to that! Just listen. You see eh, to be frank with you; at one point, it occurred to me that papa could as well be contemplating suicide as a way out!

MA CHIEMEKA

Suicide?! God forbid!

NNEKA

Yes! God forbid but it is true. It is very possible. I didn't tell anyone about this but bearing in mind that papa could possibly choose suicide as a way out, I started following him about, watching his every step, paying extra attention to him. That was why I was asking you if you have noticed anything particularly strange or different in his behaviour lately but apparently you've not.

MA CHIEMEKA

So how did you find out? About this woman?

NNEKA

I don't know if you have noticed that papa has become more taciturn. He no longer complains about his food as usual. I knew that his mind was on the fact that time that was quickly running out with no solution in sight. He always had this distant look. He leaves the house very early and comes back at God knows when. I knew then that something was amiss. So my one thought was to ask him but I observed that he was like dealing with the whole issue like, you know, how do they put it, yes, like a man, so to speak.

MA CHIEMEKA

Hmm! I am listening.

NNEKA

So like I said, I started following papa around. I don't think he knew. And that was when I noticed this hotel... and this woman...

MA CHIEMEKA

Hmm. And your father...?

NNEKA

Yes. I noticed Papa was always making trips to this hotel. I have spotted them there more than five times in the past one week.

MA CHIEMEKA

Did you see the woman? I mean did you ever get a closer look at this woman to see what she was like?

NNEKA

Hmm mama! I did not o! You know that I was in a kind of hiding since I didn't want them to see me. But from the little I could make out from this woman, I think she could be rich, yes, she looks wealthy and comfortable... maybe, somehow sophisticated too. I have also seen her car on one or two occasions. Hmm. She is really something!

MA CHIEMEKA

God I am finished!

NNEKA

And mama that is my fear. I think papa has fallen into the hands of some of these rich thick madams. Mama I am afraid. I later went to check them out at that very hotel only to discover from the receptionist that they don't go there anymore. You know about all these thick madams that are still single and are ready to do whatever it takes to hook up to a man? You know what they are capable of? I think papa has just landed one.

MA CHIEMEKA

Hey! Okay, Nneka what do you say we should do? How long do you think this has been going on?

NNEKA

Mama I am not sure. Maybe weeks, maybe months, maybe even more, who knows? Mama, do you know my worst fear? Maybe this woman has agreed to help papa out in exchange for something... something like... who knows... you know, most likely maybe something like marriage!

MA CHIEMEKA

So you are already thinking what I am thinking?!

NNEKA

Yes mama! Who knows? It's very possible and papa could have agreed to it too! But the worst part is that in this situation we have no option at all!

MA CHIEMEKA

Shut up! Who told you we have no option?! Look I am going to confront your father. Today! This very night! I must confront him. Yes! I must know if he's well aware of what he is doing! I want him to know that we already know what he's up to. I want him to know that we are going to stop him. Yes, he must be stopped right now... right away! Oh yes!

NNEKA

Mama I don't think open confrontation is the best thing to do now.

MA CHIEMEKA

Why not? Why do you say that? Are you not sure of what you have seen? Do you think I will sit down, fold my arms and watch another woman snatch your father away from me... after all these years, snatch away all that your father and I built from scratch? Never!

NNEKA

That is exactly what I'm saying. But let's look at it closely. As for now the facts don't add up. We don't really know who this woman is. We don't know what her business with papa is. We don't even know anything else except that she and papa are always seen at this hotel which doesn't look good to me at all...

MA CHIEMEKA

Shut up! You are just a child! Tell me where this hotel is located so that I will go there to disgrace and embarrass this woman together with your father. Our people say that he whose house is on fire does not pursue rat!

Your father must be crazy! Papa Chinedu, what type of man are you? You owe your bank more than fifty million naira and they will soon be moving in against you any time from now and what do you do?

You start frolicking around with this strange woman in a hotel! Tell me, is that going to be the solution? No! Never! I think he never wanted anyone else to hear this thing, but now he has failed—totally!

Oho! Wait a minute! Now I see! No wonder you don't want anybody to hear anything about it... because you already know what you are up to! Now it looks like everybody is going to hear it because it looks like that is really what he wants. Nneka, trust me, I am going to see the end of this thing!

NNEKA

But mama... mama wait! This is the very reason why I wanted to know if you are ready for what I was about to tell you.

MA CHIEMEKA

Leave that one! Leave me alone! How could Papa Chiemeka behave in that manner? How could he be acting so childishly? Now think about it, how sure are you that your father is in any trouble at all? Oh yes, I am beginning to wonder. Think about it, how possible is it that after putting more than twenty something years of active service in banking, he could still fall for such a cheap con like the one he claims this Mr. Roberts played on him? How come? Think about it...

NNEKA

Mama but it's possible. You can never tell. Such things could still happen!

MA CHIEMEKA

Shut up! I know that is what will come out from your mouth but like I said you are still a small child. Reason... Nneka reason with me. I told you that you don't know your father. In fact, you don't know men at all. Can't you see the game he is playing? You mean you cannot clearly see the handwriting on the wall now?

NNEKA

Mama I think you are taking it too far!

MA CHIEMEKA

My dear, trust me, you are still a small girl. Of course you cannot see it now but let me tell you what is really happening! The way I see it, your father is getting ready to marry this other woman. May be she has been his concubine all these years and no one knew and now she is ready for the grand entry and she has started disturbing him about it.

So what does your father do? He comes home and cooks up this long and strange tale of what happened or did not happen to him at his work place. Think about it, think about it my child, your father with all those years of experience! No, seriously, think about it now, how possible is it, how? How much did he say he was expecting to get from the deal that he willing to take such a great risk? Just five hundred thousand? Is that not laughable? You see what I am saying?

And even the bank, are they fools? Your father is under their payroll, he declares his assets to them, they know that he is going to be completely unable to pay back in any case things don't go according to plans and they still went ahead to grant him his request! Haba! You see my dear, like you said, it doesn't really add up. Not in any way!

Look let me tell you what I think is now happening. Your father cleverly and successfully creates an atmosphere of fear and worry around here. While we are worrying ourselves to death thinking on what to do to save our necks, he is busy getting ready for another love affair. And of course, he has the best excuse in the world to be seeing this woman now after all he's out there seeking for help from anywhere... Next thing you know, he will come and tell us that some nice woman helped him and rescued him when he had no hope and naturally he's expected to repay her goodwill. Hmm! Men! You don't know them! You don't know what they can do! They can never change!

NNEKA

Hmm! Mama I never thought about it that way o! True, I never saw it that way!

MA CHIEMEKA

You wouldn't. That's why I said you are still a child. Just watch what is going to happen. Your father will later come out to make this announcement to us. He is going to tell us that there is this woman that helped him out when he was in great distress. He will present this 'queen' to us to see. He will make us see her as the ultimate savior of all of us. And to pay her back what we will do is to support whatever their next plan is. And you I and know what that is most likely going to be! Ha! Papa Chiemeka, even at this age you are still ready to play this type of game! Men! Fear them!

NNEKA

Mama it is strange o! Wait mama, are we sure this woman is not using jazz on papa?

MA CHIEMEKA

Who knows? That is the reason why I said that I am getting to the root of the whole thing! I cannot be in the river and allow lather from soap to fill my eyes. Never!

NNEKA

So mama what are you going to do?

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka, what I am going to do is that first you will tell me where I can find this woman and your father. Next I will go and make sure that I put a quick stop to whatever they are doing or planning. Leave that to me!

NNEKA

But mama... this woman... what if she is actually trying to help papa? Don't you think that this line of action of yours will be like throwing spanner in the works?

MA CHIEMEKA

What?! I can't believe you are saying this! Are you not the one who saw her? Are you not the one that saw them going in and out of a hotel? Are you not the one who came to me to tell me all these? Why are you now hesitating or does it mean that you don't know what you saw again?!

NNEKA

Mama, that is why I am afraid. You see eh, I am the one who saw her but remember I told you actually I only saw a glimpse of her. What they are discussing or doing, we are yet to find out. And now, it looks like you are about to scatter the whole thing.

MA CHIEMEKA

This child, you will never stop amazing me! First you tell me that your father is seeing someone; I tell you I am going to stop whatever plans your father has with this woman, next thing you are telling me to think about it again because you don't know for sure what you saw. Ha!

NNEKA

Mama what I am trying to say is that you should apply caution. If I were you, I will not confront papa immediately. Rather, I will prefer to look into the matter deeply, I would...

MA CHIEMEKA

Yes I understand that's what you are saying but listen to me. Okay, this is what I am going to do. I will call your father, maybe today maybe not; I will sit him down and have a heart-to-heart talk with him. I'll ask him who the woman is. I will then ask him if he knows what he is doing. I will find out for myself what he is really up to. I hope you are satisfied now?

NNEKA

I think that's better. So when are you going to talk to him? You know he will want to know how you even found out about them in the first place?

MA CHIEMEKA

If you are wondering if I am going to mention your name, I won't. I will talk to him tonight when he comes back from who knows where...

NNEKA

And the boys, are we going to tell them? I will not like them to hear about it especially that horrible Chiemeka!

MA CHIEMEKA

Why are you so worried now? Is it because it's your father we are talking about now? Don't tell me what to do because I know exactly what I am going to do.

NNEKA

Mama you make me afraid. Oh, God, what is happening to us? What is becoming of this family after all these years we've been as one? Please, God saves us now. We need your help...

MA CHIEMEKA

My dear don't worry. Just leave everything to me. I am your mother. Trust me!

(Curtains fall)

# Scene 2

HENRY

Edu... Chinedu... where are you? Where is this boy? My friend where are you? Please come... come because it has happened! I told you it will happen, didn't I? For God's sake, where is this boy now?!

EDU

Why are you calling me... like that? What has happened? What did you tell me was going to happen?

HENRY

Edu my brother, please will you just shut up and listen. I told you, didn't I? I told you.

EDU

You told me what?! Henry what are you talking about? Please I am trying to finish my math assignment so if you don't mind I will like to go back to what I was doing before you started calling me unless—

HENRY

Unless what Chinedu?! Unless you do what Chinedu! See, don't just let me show you the dark side of me this evening! Imagine you talking to me like that! Children of nowadays! You see, that is what I've always been telling you. You are too serious with everything. You think you are the first person who has ever gained admission to study in a university? You think you are the only one who has got some assignment to do? Well, let me tell you, you are not! I myself, I am in the university. Nneka is also in the university, for your information! So my guy relax, relax and sit down. I have something very important to tell you.

EDU

Okay! Let's hear you, what have you got to say?

HENRY

Edu this very thing concerns us; I mean you and me, more than it concerns any of the rest of them in this family.

EDU

What is it again this time?

HENRY

Listen. Listen to me. Where were you yesterday? You were not around this morning. Had it been you were around you would have heard what Nneka told mama this morning!

EDU

What did she tell mama?

HENRY

I told you it would happen. I told you! I hope mama and Nneka are not around because they thought no one was around when they were talking about it but they never knew I was inside. You know they think I am always at that drinking bar every morning.

EDU

Oho! As if you were not there! Tell me something else, please...

HENRY

Okay agreed I went there but I came back early enough to over hear what Nneka was telling mama.

EDU

And what was she telling mama?

HENRY

I am not sure you will understand but first sit down and listen to me because this is more than you would've ever imagined.

EDU

I am sitting down now but Henry I'll like to remind you again that I still have an assignment to complete, so you better be fast.

HENRY

Of course I know you have an assignment to do but then this thing I am about to discuss with you now will be a greater assignment to you, in fact to all of us, because it concerns our future.

EDU

Why don't you start now by telling me rather than beating about the bush?

HENRY

Watch it... watch it again son! There you go again! Anyway, I won't start telling anything until I'm sure you are ready to listen. I can only start when you are relaxed and you are in the mood to listen and not now when your whole thought is focused on that stupid mathematics assignment of yours...

EDU

(Scoffs) Okay. So what did you hear Nneka tell mama?

HENRY

Yes, I think I have your attention now. Edu listen and listen very carefully. Tell me the truth, do you really believe papa was telling us the truth, I mean the whole truth about whatever event he said happened at his office?

EDU

Why should I doubt him? I thought you mentioned Nneka and mama, now it is papa?

HENRY

I am coming to that but first give me your honest response. No, just tell me. Do you really believe that cock and bull story papa told us about two weeks ago?

EDU

You are now calling it a cock and bull story?

HENRY

Yes Edu, yes I am because that is exactly what it is!

EDU

And how did you come to know that? Please big brother tell me, since when did you discover your own father has become a cock and bull story teller?

HENRY

You have to keep an open mind to what I am about to say. Edu, papa does not owe anybody! That's just the simple truth!

EDU

Ahem! Hmm! How did you come up with that nice and interesting theory?

HENRY

Yes and I am very sure of that now! Now you tell me, Edu will you ever give your money to somebody as a loan even though you cannot tell for sure if this person is capable of repaying the loan?

EDU

Hmm! Umm... except for charity purpose... I don't think I can...

HENRY

But that is exactly what papa said the bank did! Which bank in this Nigeria is running a charitable organization? Tell me! And you know the amount we are talking about here? Fifty million! Edu, fifty million naira for goodness sake!

EDU

So... what are you suggesting really happened?

HENRY

Listen. From the way I look at it, papa is up to something fishy. In other words, papa has a game plan and this story he told us was just a major part of the whole grand scheme or rather let me say that tale papa told us is nothing but the introductory stage of the drama that is to come. Do not say I didn't tell you. You will see. Oh yes look out for what is going to come next...

EDU

Something like what? Wait my friend... is that what you heard from Nneka?

HENRY

Yes! And since then I have given it so much thought. It made sense to me. A lot of sense. You see, there are no two ways about it! Papa is planning to bring another woman into this house!

EDU

Tufiakwa  I reject that in Jesus name!

HENRY

Yes but it is true. I have looked all over the facts and that is what it appears like.

EDU

How? How do you think such a thing is possible? At his age, he cannot be considering getting married again? He is too old for that! Besides, I have not noticed signs of any strained relationship between him and mama so what could have lent to this line of thought?

HENRY

Yes at his age he may not be considering marriage again but that's because you are looking at if from that angle—from your own angle. But what of if he is being pressurized by someone who seriously needs or wants to get married? What if he has jammed somebody who is controlling him using jazz? What if this person is even blackmailing him into marriage? Think about it! Just think about it. You know like they say, everything is possible!

EDU

Hmm! This is a strange tale. Papa...? Getting married... again? A really strange but funny tale! But then there is something that I am still yet to understand...

HENRY

And what will that thing be?

EDU

To tell you the truth Henry, I have never had any reason to doubt papa in this life. You see, you want to make me understand that mama and Nneka are of the view that papa wants to bring in another woman into this house, right? But how can we base our judgment on the views of these two women, that is, mama and Nneka, most especially Nneka. You know that she can be so emotional sometimes. Secondly, what has this second woman issue got to do with the huge weight hanging on papa's shoulders?

HENRY

Everything my brother, everything! Although you can't see it now!

EDU

How? See what?

HENRY

Chinedu think well, think again. So can't you see that papa and this his latest accomplice are onto a big hoax. See, let me tell you how I feel the whole setup is being orchestrated. First, papa tells us this story about his financial difficulties, and next thing you know we all start looking for the likely solutions. Then later papa comes back again and shows us this woman who has help him out of the troubled waters. Naturally we are expected to show our gratitude in which case we support fully whatever their next plan is...

EDU

Which you will agree with me you and I don't have any inkling on what that could be, right?

HENRY

Of course I don't know but I am not going to wait to find out!

EDU

Wait my brother; let us look at this thing critically now. You don't know a thing about what is going on. All you have are assumptions. Who this woman is, you don't know. You haven't even seen her, I believe. What her business with papa is, you don't know. And you are sitting there telling me that you will not wait to find out. Find out what, I am asking you?

HENRY

Edu the truth is that if I say now that you are still acting like a small boy, you will get angry but the truth is that you are acting like a small boy here, right now. Yes! Instead of you to ask me what I am going to do about it, you are asking me who this woman is, what her business with papa is, and if I have ever seen her. Wait Chinedu, are you going to stay there and allow events to overtake you? Is that what you are going to do...?

EDU

No but I will like ask you the same question. What are you going to do?

HENRY

Of course I am going to protect what is mine, what is ours!

EDU

And what will that thing of yours be?

HENRY

Look at this guy o! It seems you don't get it, do you? From the look of things, it seems that papa is set to bring in another person into this home and you know what that means? More heads more problems, more things to share, this house, our inheritance, most especially our inheritance and in fact everything, including papa's attention and affection towards us all. You can't imagine what is going to happen! So I won't just let that happen!

EDU

My friend, think like a man for once. Nothing is going to happen. You people act as if papa has no right to do whatever he wants to do again. If he decides to take another wife, what are you going to do about that? If this woman is going to help him out in exchange for marriage, what is wrong with that? Please, tell me another thing...

HENRY

You are right. He is free to do whatever he wants to do. He can have as many concubines and mistresses he wants but everything changes immediately he makes her his wife which I am suspecting now is what he is definitely planning to do. Agreed, you will not see what is wrong in there right now but that's because you don't know the implication of him being married to two women. The dangers and the problems involved...

EDU

So?

HENRY

So I am going to stop him.

EDU

So how do you think you are going to stop him? What exactly are you going to do? Big bros, wake up! You Henry, you simply cannot stop him.

HENRY

Don't try me, do you hear me? Definitely he will be stopped! I am going to stop him but I will be doing that with your help, with your full support! That is why I called you!

EDU

My full support? How?

HENRY

Edu listen to me. You see in this house, the truth is that the future belongs more or less to you and I and nobody else, I hope you know that?

EDU

It's possible.

HENRY

Chinedu you are not cooperating and I must tell you I don't like that attitude from you! Let me make it clearer to you, assuming that papa finally settles down with this woman...

EDU

There you go again! That's all you have! Assumptions! And that's what you are working on! C'mon!

HENRY

Wait, let me finish son, okay, suppose that papa succeeds in bringing this woman home, I have told you what to expect. This house will never remain the same again!

EDU

I know that. So what are you going to do about that?

HENRY

I am going to confront papa—again!

EDU

Again?

HENRY

Yes, again! I have spoken with him before but it seems the man is so adamant and he's bent of destroying this whole family. But this time around, it is going to be different. I am going to let him know that I won't standby and watch him take us down with him. I am going to tell him that as the first son and spokesman of this family that we are seriously against his plans and that is where you come in!

EDU

Hmm! Spokesman of the family! That's a new one! I think I like that! Well, this must be the greatest joke on the planet. Anyway Mr. Spokesman, what makes you think my support is just enough for you to talk sense into the old man?

HENRY

Of course! I can see you are not taking this thing serious! See eh, I can only count on you in this thing. Reason why; we are the men of the house. I cannot count on mama, she is too emotional and papa can always cower her into submission to his will. As for Nneka, she is not an option too.

Besides you know what girls are like? Before you know it, Nneka will soon be getting married; so she just has one foot in this house now. Yes we all know she has papa's ears but like our people say the death that will kill a dog does not allow it to perceive the smell of feces. My point is that Papa is already far gone in this thing and nothing said or done could bring him back. I believe you know that!

EDU

I am still waiting for you to tell me what exactly you are going to do— how you are going to confront him or didn't you say that is what you intend doing?

HENRY

The thing is that you people in this house keep on underrating me. Obviously you guys don't know me and what I can do.

EDU

Why don't you start now to elaborate those things you can do for me?

HENRY

Edu, you are still a small boy so you won't understand. Let me tell you something you don't know. I know people. I know men who can make things happen. They can make people disappear, if there is any need for that. I don't expect you to understand all what I am saying now but just know that with one single command from me, this gold-digger of a vampire that is trying to take over our inheritance will be counted among the missing people. Nobody will know what happened to her.

EDU

So what you are saying exactly is that you have the capacity to stop either papa or the woman?

HENRY

Exactly! I will only say the word and the woman will become history! And that is exactly what it is going to be immediately I discover that this woman is going to be a nuisance! Mind you, I have made my arrangements to this regard.

EDU

Hmm! In that case I'd rather you first confront papa to see if you can get more information before you end up making a grave mistake.

HENRY

Oh yes, I am going to confront him. It is going to be a different type of confrontation like the one Nneka or mama is going to give to him. This is the time! This is the time when we will act like the men in this house. We have to advise papa and we have to stop him even if it is going to be by force.

EDU

And you think that will work? I don't see how it will work unless you are suggesting we beat up the old man. Ha ha ha!

HENRY

Edu, to tell you the truth, I am so disappointed in you. Please tell me because I will like to know, why is it that you are not seeing this thing the way we all are seeing it?! Yes, tell me! Yes I really want to know! Tell me!

EDU

Okay, listen let me tell you why I am not buying this your idea of papa getting married to some other woman. Look at the facts, my God; you guys are beginning to sound so crazy! You people are beginning to think that papa is not even involved in any financial difficulties but what if he is actually in it as I know he is and he's trying to get help? Connect that with the fact that he wants to get married now, at his age, and tell me how that adds up? I am just wondering how you guys even came up with that marriage angle which looks so pathetic and ridiculous me.

HENRY

You will not see how we came up with the marriage angle but that's because you can't even see anything. Tell me, what on earth could papa and another woman be doing in a hotel? Why should they change their rendezvous place to an entirely unknown place all of a sudden? Why should papa be having a clandestine activity with this woman at all? If their meeting was genuine, why can't they have the so called meeting in this house rather than in a hotel? If that doesn't sound so suspicious to you, I'm afraid, but I don't know what else you need to be convinced that something, something so sinister, is really going on...

EDU

But even at that, I still maintain that that is not enough for you guys to conclude.

HENRY

So what are you saying?

EDU

What I am saying is that papa getting married right now is not in any way the best way out of the current quagmire we have in our hands right now and I so much believe papa is well aware of that too. Now let me ask you, what is she even going to offer papa in return for the so-called marriage? From what Nneka said, do you think this woman is rich?

HENRY

According to Nneka, the woman appears rightly so.

EDU

Now since you came to know papa, your own father, do you think he will ever embark on such project like getting married without informing anyone in this family, do you?

HENRY

Who knows? People do change. Maybe he's just bidding time...

EDU

Not papa! Not my own father! He will never do such a thing. If you guys will allow me to have my own say, I will say that papa is seriously trying to get help from this woman. Simple!

HENRY

Chinedu shut up let me tell you something. While you were busy yakking on, I was thinking. Suppose this woman is not even rich at all. Suppose she's just putting up a front. Suppose she is nothing but a shameless gold-digger looking to reap from where she did not sow, you see what I mean? She could be setting papa up for a catastrophic downfall. For all we know, she could have put papa under a spell with African magic. You know there are so many desperate women like that nowadays and they are capable of doing anything?

Now look at it this way. Suppose she now has papa in her clutches and she wants him to do her one or two financial favor because she's the one that is in a serious financial debt. If papa is to raise some money for her, he will definitely have to sell off most of his possession, right? Yes what if he will give the proceeds from all he is going to dispose off, things like house, all his plots of lands, even his car and all that to this woman because he's no longer in his senses? Think my friend, think. Where do you think that will leave us? That is what I am thinking and that is why I am determined to fight now or never!

Don't forget that there's really no evidence suggesting that he was actually involved in any wrong financial dealing except that he told us so! So for all we know, papa might be spinning us some cool yarns and we are buying that hook, line and sinker already.

EDU

But what about the two cars he said the white man left with him as a surety? Is that not also part of the evidence? I have seen the papers, you know? Nothing stops you from going to his bank to clarify things for yourself assuming you are in any doubt.

HENRY

My friend wake up! Forget that one! Is this not Nigeria again? Anybody could present a forged evidence, if and when necessary! About going to his bank to find out things, do you think he has not taken care of that already by getting himself some accomplices to back up his story?

EDU

Hmm! I see, but I must say this thing is very hard for me to digest. You made some sense there considering the fact that our present society is now filled with so many fake and unscrupulous people, impostors, actors, vultures... let me think... what you just said could be a possibility. In that case, I think we really have to find out what is going on. Yes I think we have to call papa to order! But first, I think it is our duty to at least find out from him what is really going on, or is that not what you are trying to say?

HENRY

Now that's my boy! Now you are talking. Finally! Now, you have started to see the sense in what we were saying! Nneka! Nneka come! Edu has finally started to reason!

(Nneka enters)

EDU

Nneka? Where is she? Look at her! Wait... did you people just plan to set me up? Hmm! So you guys have already had this conversation before and yet you came to disrupt my mathematical concentration huh? This is serious!

NNEKA

Edu what we have in our hands right now is more serious than that mathematics. Now that you have seen reason with us, let us think of what to do and how to go about it!

EDU

You tell me. I suppose you must have discussed that too? Hmm, I am beginning to fear you guys now o!

NNEKA

Edu my brother, it's not like that. It's for our own good. We have not even seen nor heard from papa since yesterday. He just sent mama some random text message telling her he has to embark on an important journey to Benin. Now tell me Chinedu, is that how papa used to behave? Since when did he become so inconsiderate? Do you think that is your father? I heard you telling Chiemeka... sorry Henry... that you know papa so well. I'm afraid he's not in his senses anymore. That is why we must find out whatever papa is planning to do. I am suspecting something must have come over him. And it is a must that we put an end to it immediately if it is not going to benefit us. Is that going to be a problem?

EDU

No it's not but I am still waiting for you to tell me what we you have planned to do next.

HENRY

Well, well, well... for a start I have decided, well, we have decided to seize hold of the papers to those plots of land and this house, and even those cars. We cannot allow papa to throw away our future and mama's future too away just like that. We must do something about that. Our people say that it is not the lunatic that is ashamed but rather it is his relatives who are ashamed and you know it's true. So that is why I have come to you. You are the custodian to that safe where he keeps those documents. You have to give me the keys to that safe! Now!

EDU

Which keys are you talking about? You mean the ones I gave to him six days ago? My friend you guys came very late. Wow! Papa has shown you guys that he is a much greater planner and a better strategist than any of you. I don't know about you guys but I know my father is a great strategist and I must say that's one thing I like most about him! You see he knows what he is doing! I tried telling you guys but you wouldn't believe me! I hope you will learn something from there, even you Nneka!

HENRY

Hmm! Haa! Haa! Is this what it is! Chinedu, I hope you are not lying? Because I promise to make it so hot for you if and when I find out you are lying to us.

EDU

Me? Lying? Why should I lie?

HENRY

Well in that case this whole thing has come down to an all out war! Papa is finished! Nneka what do we do now? Where's mama? Nneka, have you seen it now? I hope you are now prepared because if papa comes back today or whenever, I will face him. I am going to challenge him man-to-man. I am going to collect back those papers from him. Edu are you still sitting down there? You better get ready! Your father has declared a war on this family and he's going to get it hot, I promise! There will be no peace again! Let me wait and see where he is going to keep that harlot of his! As far as I am concerned papa has murdered sleep in this house. It's now him against us!

(Curtains fall)

# Scene 3

Later the same day in Papa Edu's compound

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka I think your father is back. He looks so happy and it's been a while since he looked such but instead of me feeling happy that he's looks so happy, it is making me so scared. I think he has had enough rest so we are ready to talk with him.

NNEKA

Mama, I think so too.

MA CHIEMEKA

I think your father is now settled. I have told Henry to mind how he talks to him since he says he's going to confront him. You know Henry has a very hot temper and I don't want the type of clash that I cannot handle.

NNEKA

Mama, why do you worry a lot? Don't worry about Chiemeka. I have spoken to him too. The problem is Chinedu. I don't know where he stands right now.

MA CHIEMEKA

Leave Edu. He is just a small boy. He has a very good analytical mind and I believe he has started to consider the position he is going to find himself in if the worst should happen. Come to think of it Nneka, don't you think that it will be the best thing if I go and talk to your father alone without involving you kids?

NNEKA

That is not part of the plan, remember? We have agreed to face him. He is going to explain a lot of things to us today face to face!

MA CHIEMEKA

Yes I am in support of the original plan. But I will like us to start discussing the whole thing while we are eating. That is why I am asking you if you have given him food. In fact all of us are going to eat together tonight.

NNEKA

That is fine. You know it has been a long time since we last ate together in this house.

MA CHIEMEKA

In that case, you have to go and call the boys. I want them to be there too when I will introduce the issue.

NNEKA

They are ready especially Henry.

MA CHIEMEKA

So what are we waiting for? Let's go.

NNEKA

But mama one more thing. Please don't be harsh on papa. You have to promise me that. You know that will hurt me the most.

MA CHIEMEKA

(Hisses) Idiot!

NNEKA

Mama please I am serious. If you are going to be that harsh to papa, you better tell me now so that we can stop this thing on time right now!

MA CHIEMEKA

My child, you are still a child and a fool too! Will you leave me to handle this thing like an adult! C'mon, just go and bring the boys!

NNEKA

Yes ma.

(Nneka leaves.)

MA CHIEMEKA

(Talking to herself) See this young fool. You think you are the only one who loves this man? Tell me, is that not what we are all fighting for? Me and this unknown wicked woman! God help me!

(She enters where Papa Edu was already waiting for the food.)

PAPA EDU

Where is the food? Where are these children? Please everyone come let's eat. I am completely famished and I can't wait any longer. This long journey, ha! Please I can't wait any longer. Where is Nneka? Nneka, please bring my food for me, okay!

NNEKA

Papa the food is here. We are just waiting for Edu to come out.

EDU

Yes Edu, where is he. I haven't seen him since I came back. I hope he is not sick.

NNEKA

No he is not sick. Is just that... is just that he's em... em... no I think he's just busy tackling his mathematics.

PAPA EDU

So mathematicians don't feel hungry again! I wonder.

EDU

Papa good evening.

PAPA EDU

Chinedu good evening. Where have you been? I haven't seen you around since I came back. I hope everything is okay?

EDU

Papa I am alright. It's just that there are some things that I have been thinking about and eh—

NNEKA

(Cuts in) Chinedu why don't you sit down first so that we can pray over this food and start eating?

MA CHIEMEKA

Henry, please lead us in prayer.

HENRY

Mama I thought it was your turn to lead us?

NNEKA

(Scoffs) If it was to lead us in drinking pammy, Henry the Eight, whose turn will it be? You will never stop to amaze me!

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka leave that drunkard alone. We all know the things he always comes first in.

HENRY

You people want to start again huh? You people should not get me started, okay? See I think we have much more important things to talk about other than pammy.

PAPA EDU

It's okay people. Let us pray. God our heavenly father, bless this food for us so than when we eat it we obtain good health which comes only from you. Bless the person, who prepared the food, bless all of us who are going to eat it. Have mercy on all of us. Let your light shine again in this family. Take glory for we believe you have answered our prayers. We make this prayer through Jesus Christ our Lord.

(They others chorused "amen" together.)

PAPA EDU

(Opening the covered plates) Hmm Nneka, what have you prepared tonight? Hmm! Rice and beans with stew. That's nice. It seems as if you were right in my mind. But why are all of you looking at me somehow. I get the feeling that there is something you want to tell me, something I am supposed to know? Did someone die? Eh? Nneka tell me! What happened – during my absence?

NNEKA

Papa, please eat your food. Nothing happened...

PAPA EDU

Are you sure? Mama Chiemeka, is anything the problem? Edu looks sick, you look tired and Henry, well, he has not been looking his normal self again. Anyway I have something very important I want to share with us after the meal so please let us eat this food with happiness...

HENRY

Which happiness are you talking about papa?!

NNEKA

Chiemeka!

PAPA EDU

I don't understand. Henry is there anything you want to tell me?

MA CHIEMEKA

Papa Chiemeka please let us continue with this meal.

PAPA EDU

Please I returned from a very long journey and I am so tired and I wouldn't like anybody to compound my stress any more than that. I don't like the way you all are acting so shifty around me now. If there is anything that you people want to tell me, I think now is the time!

HENRY

That is the point! That is exactly what I am saying! Did you hear him? Nneka did you just hear him now? Edu, you are the one that is asking for evidence, since when did your father start blasting like that since you knew him. I told something is not just right and you didn't believe me! Edu? Edu? Chinedu, are you not here? Are you are keeping silent now?! You can now see what I told you, can't you?

PAPA EDU

Chiemeka I can now see that you are leading some kind of riot for this whole pack against me, right? So I ask you, if you have got anything to say to me, please sir, why don't you just start talking now?

MA CHIEMEKA

Well, Papa Chiemeka, I'd say it's better you just cool down and eat your food. If you noticed, this house is fast turning to something else and I think... okay, we think you are the cause!

PAPA EDU

What?! Did I just hear you right, woman!

NNEKA

Papa it's true. The thing is that everything now suggests it seems you are no longer after the good of this family.

PAPA EDU

What?! Is this a conspiracy or something? Nneka where are you getting that idea from? Lord have mercy! What do you mean by everything? What things if I may ask?

HENRY

Yes! What they are trying to say is that nobody understand you... your motives anymore.

PAPA EDU

Chiemeka, since when did you start to understand my motives?

HENRY

Papa, please stop calling me Chiemeka! I won't take that from anybody o! What we are saying is that since you came back to this house with that story of yours, if you've not noticed, this house is kind of divided. It is now like you are one side and we are on the other side. Okay, check this out, we don't usually see you in the house anymore and we don't know where you are these days...

PAPA EDU

Of course, what else do you think I am doing? And I can't remember the last time you so much cared for my whereabouts! For your information, I am out there trying to solve my problems!

HENRY

Your problems huh?! Really?

PAPA EDU

What has come over this small boy? Chiemeka you better watch your mouth and mind how to address me because we are not age mates. Mama Chiemeka what is all this? Have you seen your son? What is going on here? I hope your hand is not in this thing? I get the feeling that there is a very bitter conspiracy against me here! I don't like that so please I will like someone to pick courage to speak up by telling me what the problem here really is.

MA CHIEMEKA

Well Papa Chiemeka, if the truth must be told, then I will say that I think you are the one who is conspiring against us. You have somehow thwarted the very foundation of this family by your latest maneuvering and philandering...

PAPA EDU

Now hold it woman! I said hold it! What do you mean by that?! Me? Philandering?! Where did you get that from? I don't know where you are getting that idea from but wherever it is you better be sure of what you are saying before you start talking nonsense. I hope you have heard me! What's all this?! I had a good appetite before but now I don't know... I don't know. In fact I am through with this food! Take away your food woman! I have had enough!

MA CHIEMEKA

Yes, maybe you've not noticed but all of us, we have lost appetite too and it's all because of you! You are barking at us now ferociously like a mad dog, huh?! But wait let me tell you something you might have forgotten. You see, you have used that tactics in the past several times Papa Chiemeka but right now I must tell you that it won't work! It will never work! Oh yes!

PAPA EDU

This is strange, very very strange. Now if I may ask, who even told you what you are saying now?

MA CHIEMEKA

That is not my point. The point is to find out whether what is being said is true or not and we want to find out from you today, Papa Chiemeka.

PAPA EDU

I believe this is not the right time for this.

MA CHIEMEKA

And when will the right time be?

PAPA EDU

You know that we are in a middle of a terrible financial crisis, now it seems like a solution is about to happen...

MA CHIEMEKA

Oh, really? A solution? And which financial crisis are you even talking about? If really it is true, tell me, was it caused by me or my children? No! Now tell me why should we suffer for what we did not cause?

PAPA EDU

You people amaze me. This is not the support we agreed on, remember! Definitely not!

HENRY

Which support are you talking about, Papa? You know they say that nothing is hidden under the sun, one day the truth must definitely come out!

PAPA EDU

Edu you have not said anything since or are you not part of this mad crowd? And Nneka what about you too? Oh, I see it clearly now. This thing looks like you—your handwork! What did you tell your mother that has turned her against me and is making her so livid and very much doubtful now?

MA CHIEMEKA

Leave them alone, do you hear me? I say leave them alone. Let's look at as it really is. How many years have I lived together with you? More than twenty five years, right?! Okay, since that time we got married, there has never been a moment that you have changed in your behavior like you've done in the past few weeks.

PAPA EDU

How do you mean? What exactly are you hinting at?

MA CHIEMEKA

How do I mean, huh? Of course you can't see it, can you? You have been bewitched, that's why. Since when did you start to keep late nights? Granted you are sourcing for financial help but how are we sure—that that is exactly what you are doing? Since when did you start to embark on sudden journeys? Who do you know in Benin that you are going to see and you never bothered to tell us about?

You just sent me one short text message, not even a call, just to inform us that you are off to Benin. Off to Benin to do what there if I may ask? How do we know you really went to Benin? Next thing you come back to this house and expect us to act normal around you.

You appear so happy right now! Well, let me tell you something, that is not right! You know what we are saying. There's so much secrecy, there's so much uncertainty, so much cover-ups. We are just watching you because we don't know what you may do next. Nobody seems to understand you anymore.

HENRY

Exactly! Mama, thank you so much for saying it exactly the way it is! As for you papa, mama is right because we don't know what you are up to anymore. It is like we don't who you are anymore! You are so completely disconnected from us! And that is the reason why we are demanding for the answers and explanations right now!

PAPA EDU

So much secrecy, you say? Hmm! Chiemeka I hope you can hear yourself talk? You are demanding for what... that I do what for you, if I may ask?

HENRY

Papa, we are demanding for explanations on why you have chosen this very moment to create so much fear, uncertainty and gloom in this household. We are demanding to know why you have been acting so strange of late; we want to know the real reason why you have not been around the house as you used to. We want you to tell us what is really going on and most importantly, we want to know why have you decided to lie to us?!

PAPA EDU

Oho! Now, I see! Wonders they say shall never end! Can you imagine! First you guys tell me that I have been acting strange. Now you think I have been lying to you. Lying to you about what?

NNEKA

Papa I think what he is trying to say is that it is beginning to seem to us that you have some things that you don't want us to know and we feel that we have a right to know because we are still one family.

HENRY

Nneka will you shut up there! That is not what I, we mean. What I really mean is that you papa, you have to tell us if you are really involved in any financial crisis at your bank? We want to know what is really going on because from the way things are, it doesn't seem like you told us the truth the last time, and we would like to know why you have been so economical with the truth!

PAPA EDU

Hmm... interesting! Since it appears that you now know more than you really want to let on my son, now I put it to you. Why don't you tell us the truth, the whole truth then?

EDU

Papa, if I may come in now, permit me to just say something now because I can't even understand why they are still beating about the bush with you. From my own understanding, and from the things I have heard, I just have one question for you. The fact is that we will like to know if you are planning to bring in another woman into this house because if that is your plan, I don't think it is the very best of plan coming at this moment when you claim you have to deal with some financial problems at your bank.

PAPA EDU

Now, that's my boy! Chinedu my son, thank you for being so straightforward and sincere! I get the feeling that you people have concluded on this matter before bringing it here to me but then I must warn you, whatever you think about this whole issue, whatever you have concluded is nothing but utter balderdash!

HENRY

You think so?! Is that what you really think?

NNEKA

I don't like how this whole thing is going. Papa, please end this thing here, right now. Please do you want to do something terrible like that to this family?

PAPA EDU

Nneka my daughter, I don't know what to say again. This is not the right time. Your mother has accused me of unfaithfulness right here in your presence. You people have even gone as far as concluding that I was not telling you the whole truth; that I am just making up all these things up. Well, well, well, that is the problem. Whatever I say now will not count so I will just be contended to tell you that this is not the right time.

MA CHIEMEKA

And when will be that right time ever be?

HENRY

Yes papa, tell us. When will it be the right time to tell us what you are really up to? But let me tell you something you don't know. I, Henry Okafor, will not allow you to destroy my future, our future no matter what you are planning, do you hear me?!

PAPA EDU

Yes sir!

HENRY

I am not joking. This is not a laughing matter. I will not be alive and watch you destroy our future. I am going to stop you. I am willing to lay down my life to stop you!

PAPA EDU

Hmm... lay down your life? This is interesting. I don't know what plans you are talking about that I have but assuming there's a plan to destroy your future like you said, please humor me by telling me how... I mean, what will you do to stop me?

HENRY

What will I do? You think it is a laughing matter? Okay, you just wait and see what I will do!

PAPA EDU

Hmm... Henry my son, when did your wings start to come out boy?!

HENRY

They started coming out the very moment you decided to fool us all. Why have you chosen to do this to us papa, is what I don't know? The fact is that we think you are under the influence of some powers, maybe spiritual manipulation, maybe jazz, whatever! But I am not going to wait to find out, not after it is now clear that you are not even ready to tell us what is really going on with you. Can you imagine! He's telling us this is not the right time, as if we are still kids!

PAPA EDU

I will have a laugh. Look at this boy! Where is your power coming from? What do you know about being under the influence of spiritual manipulation or something? What are you high on this night? What did you smoke tonight? I have heard you are now into smoking...

HENRY

Papa that is what we are going to find out now, today! I am prepared to fight for what is rightfully mine.

PAPA EDU

And what is this thing that is rightly yours? Please who can tell me what this boy is really talking about?

HENRY

Papa, you just listen to me! I am not going to allow you throw all the things that you and mama have achieved all these years to some undeserving gold-digger or harlot. That is what I am going to do!

PAPA EDU

Did I hear you mention the word harlot? Hmm, my son, you better be careful so that what you say now will not come haunt you forever.

MA CHIEMEKA

Oh my God! I am finished!

PAPA EDU

Woman you are only finished when you start thinking about certain things that are very impossible. How can you people be linking me with whatever you are linking me with. At this my age? Haba! But Chiemeka this thing you said about securing your future, it really interests me. At least I now know that you have started thinking for yourself. Your mind is no longer focused entirely on all those girls you are always running around with! That is quite a comforting thought, believe me. So permit me to ask you again, how do you intend to secure your future?

MA CHIEMEKA

Papa Chiemeka, please leave the boy alone. Leave all of them alone. The fact is that your plan, whatever it is, will not succeed, simple and short!

PAPA EDU

Woman, I am coming to you later but as for you Henry, I am still interested in knowing what your plans are. What are you going to do? I want to hear.

HENRY

Okay! Let me tell you what I am going to do. For a start, I will like to get hold of that key which you took from Edu some days ago.

PAPA EDU

Okay. That is quite interesting. Anything else...?

HENRY

You may think I am joking but let me assure you, I am not!

PAPA EDU

Of course! I know you are not joking...

HENRY

So Papa you better hand over those keys to me so that we will simply avoid some difficult times ahead that will surely come, if you chose to do otherwise!

NNEKA

Mama I think you should stop this now. I don't like the way this whole thing is going! I don't like the way everything is turning out now!

MA CHIEMEKA

Shut up you fool! Chiemeka is right. Can't you see if for yourself? Isn't it obvious that your father is possessed now? Do you think he's still in his right senses? No, I don't think so! So if you ask me I'd say your father needs to be stopped.

PAPA EDU

Mama Chiemeka, I can see that you and your warriors have ganged up against me. That is not the problem. The problem is that you people may end up destroying yourselves and everything in the end. What makes Chiemeka think that he is ready to be in possession of the papers to all my assets now? Did I tell him I am going to die? Or is he already planning such for me?

What makes him think that he is in the best position to control what he does not own—at least at the moment? Chiemeka let me remind, when most of those properties you are angling to possess right now were acquired, you were not yet born. All of sudden, you smoke some marijuana and you discover your manliness and you decide to fight your own father, to take possession of what is not yours... that is quite shocking to me, I must tell you!

HENRY

Papa I don't care. Do your hear me? I said I don't care! What I know is that I will not allow you to destroy our future. You said you have a problem at your bank but we know now that it is nothing but a big farce! You think we are still kids, that you can lie to and come up with your cock and bull story, huh? Well, we are not! Tell me which bank in this Naija is ready to embark on such financial misadventure in the name of business like the one you claim papa? Haba papa, you could have done better with your lies.

PAPA EDU

Well since you know what is going on in the banks now my dear Mr. Soludo,le t me still remind you to better watch your mouth because I am still your father. You still live under my roof. The fact that you are in the university does not even change that, I hope you know that!

HENRY

Papa like I said before and like I still maintain now, I don't care! Do you hear me? I don't care! Yes, I said it! All I know is that you must produce those keys. You must give them to me. From now on I am the one in charge. Can't you see it papa? The devil is trying to use you to destroy this whole family completely and you are complying. Thank God all of cannot be mad at the same time! I cannot fold my arms and watch you destroy this family and I am ready to do whatever it takes to make sure you don't!

PAPA EDU

You are mad already!

HENRY

Papa you are provoking me. Don't let me play this game the way you wouldn't like. Consider this as a very good advice from a very good son. The best thing for you to do right now is to kindly hand over those keys to me.

PAPA EDU

My friend, you should be very ashamed of yourself by now. I know you can't hear yourself talk now. You are filled with your stupid ego and mad rage which I still insist you inherited from your mother! Have you ever wondered why I gave Edu the keys in the first place instead of you, have you? I bet you haven't but let me tell you why.

You see, Edu is very level-headed; he is a thinker just like me. He does not run his mouth like you. You think your mother will be there always to ginger you to start acting up and start insulting and talking to your elders anyhow? Well my son listen to me, you should go back and think of the best way to approach this issue because even if you start from this moment till eternity to run your mouth, I assure you, you will not see those keys talk more of me handing them over to you.

HENRY

Papa don't try me o! See everybody here better warn your father here! He should not try me o! He should desist from provoking me! Someone should warn and remind him that I can make things so difficult and painful for him and his harlot!

MA CHIEMEKA

Papa Chiemeka I believe I know you more than these kids do. What I am observing is that you are enjoying this whole dialogue. Please why don't you stop this now by just simply telling us what is really going on? Please stop leading the boy on...

PAPA EDU

Is this not what you've always wanted woman? You encouraged the boy to challenge me. You told him I must be stopped. You have failed to put a leash on this your dog! I bet things are not turning out as you wanted. What do you want me to tell you now?

HENRY

Mama leave this man alone! He thinks he is in control all the time but papa this time around I promise you, it's going to be a different ball game if you don't hand me over those keys.

PAPA EDU

Excuse me sir, but what exactly will you do if you don't get the keys? Will you invite some of your cultist friends from the university to come and deal with me? What exactly are you going to do you stupid boy?!

EDU

Papa it has not come to that level but papa it will be nice if you will explain to us now why you even collected the keys from me the other day. I believe that if you do that it will clear up the air about some misgivings we now have in this family.

PAPA EDU

Thank you Chinedu but then I still maintain my stance and what I said earlier that now is not the best time.

HENRY

Did you just hear him? Did you hear that?!

NNEKA

Henry! What is your own? You promised to handle this matter maturely but obviously you are not doing that. Now papa has been repeating that this is not the right time. I think that by now we should be asking papa when will be the right time rather than this shambolic manner in which we are going about this whole affair.

HENRY

Nneka shut up! I say shut up there! What do you know? Whenever it comes to issues concerning papa, you are always ready to protect him, ready to back down, ready to understand issues and see things from his own view. Can't you see that papa is manipulating us? What does he mean by now is not the right time? When will that right time be? What is he hiding? In case you have not noticed, the truth is that the damage has been done...

MA CHIEMEKA

The way I see this thing, it has gone beyond the ordinary. Children your father is in a very deep trance. He has been completely bewitched. Oh yes! I pray that when he comes through, we will not be consumed by the fire that he has started. I rest my case.

EDU

So now what did you achieve by confronting papa? I am asking you Henry, and yes, you Nneka? Can you now see what you guys have done?

HENRY

Hmm! You have not heard the last of this matter. Papa I promise you, I swear to make things so uncomfortable, very uncomfortable for you and that your... your... your whatever if you succeed to bring her into this household! Lord knows it is over my dead body that I will watch you throw away what belongs to this family all in the name of stupid love or whatever. Jazz or no jazz!

NNEKA

Henry please don't do anything drastic! I think you have gone too far. You should apologize to papa now... really.

PAPA EDU

Leave him alone, will you? He is just a barking dog. My only prayer is that you will find the face to beg me for forgiveness when the time comes. But all the same, I understand his problem is nothing but just youthful exuberance. Please remove these plates from here Nneka. You people have succeeded in ruining this night for me as well as sending everyone to sleep without dinner. Let me go and sleep since I am tired but someone should remind Chiemeka that he should mind how he talks to his elders. He should always remember the fourth commandment.

(Papa Edu stands up and takes his leave.)

EDU

Well, in my own opinion, let us just wait and see. From the way I see it, papa knows what he is doing.

NNEKA

Yes that may be true but if you consider this whole thing critically, you will find out that we are in no way closer to the end of all this. We don't know what is going on. Anyway let me just go and sleep. What a bad day it has turned out to be! I just believe that God will see us through.

EDU

Me, I am not going to sleep with an empty stomach.

HENRY

Chai! I am disappointed in all of you. You people are not tough at all! First mama chickened out, next Nneka. I don't even know where Edu stands in this affair. So we couldn't even face papa? Even after all the raking and ranting from you Nneka and mama? I am beginning to learn something here.

Now I am the rude one standing alone to be crucified for being so brash to him and I will be used as an example. But that's no problem. All I know is that I am fighting a just cause. It is for our own good. At least we have achieved something; papa now knows that we are aware of his maneuver and that we are not happy with it. That alone is quite comforting.

Let me go and sleep, tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I will continue from where I stopped. I know I can't be wrong because if something fishy is not going on, then why is it so difficult for Papa to just open up and tell us rather that playing the not-yet-the-right-time-game with us.

Well, Papa thinks he has won by scaring you guys into submission but I don't think so because as for me, this thing is pretty much very far from over. I must finish what we started. That, I can assure him!

NNEKA

Hmm... this is really getting out of hand. God please help our family. We are fast becoming what we never thought we could ever become!

EDU

Nneka stop complaining. You caused it. From the moment you disclosed to mama whatever it is that you said you saw, without even examining the whole situation critically, I knew it was going to happen this way. You should have known it was going to happen this way! Now look what you've caused.

Papa and Chiemeka are on a terrible warpath and you are sitting there praying to God to have mercy on you. You should have thought about it first. You should have looked at things more closely before you started running your mouth off to mama and to Henry, I know how myopic you, mama and Henry are. That is why I didn't support that idea of confronting papa from in the first case. Now look at where we are. Seriously, I pray too for God's mercy—on you!

(Curtains fall)

# PART 4

At Papa Edu's compound

NNEKA

(Speaking to herself) Hmm... it's now almost a week since we confronted papa. Nobody understands Henry again these days. Same thing with papa. Papa has become more taciturn than ever. We don't even know what is going to happen next. Henry and papa are no longer on talking terms. Henry has sworn to deal with papa whatever that means. Mama and papa are just trying to tolerate each other.

I don't know for Edu. He is now more of a recluse and so into his studies more serious than ever. Papa does not make jokes with me like he used to and I am not happy with that. Oh my Lord, I don't know, I don't know. In fact, the crisis we are in is deepening more and more as the days go by with no solution insight. I wish I didn't start this whole thing because now things are terribly bad although I thought I was doing something good for the whole family!

(Someone knocks at the door.)

NNEKA

Who is it? Wait I am coming.

(She opens the door.)

NNEKA

Good afternoon madam.

IJEOMA

Good afternoon, I believe this is Mr. James Okafor's house?

NNEKA

Yes. You are welcome. Please sit down.

IJEOMA

Thank you. Is Mr. Okafor in?

NNEKA

Yes, he's resting inside. If you want, I will go and call him.

IJEOMA

Yes please do. Tell him that it is Mrs. Halima.

(Nneka disappears inside and she goes to speak with her mother.)

NNEKA

Mama come o! Mama where are you? Mama please come o! It has happened! She's right here in our house!

MA CHIEMEKA

What is it Nneka? What do you mean? Who is in our house...?

NNEKA

Who else? Papa's concubine of course! She's sitting right inside our parlor. Ha! Mama it's going down today! It's going to happen today!

MA CHIEMEKA

Nneka please be serious for once. Who do you say is in our house?!

NNEKA

Mama why are you acting like this? Who do you think I am talking about? I said it's papa's girlfriend or new wife or whatever! And she's sitting in our parlor right now!

MA CHIEMEKA

Are you sure?!

NNEKA

Of course I am very sure!

MA CHIEMEKA

Lord have mercy! Wonders shall never end. Nneka tell me what do I do now? I will very much like to go and wring her neck right now!

NNEKA

No mama, it is not done that way. We have to first of all know why she is here. She told me to go and call papa but I decided to inform you of her presence first. I hope you will handle this thing alright this time...?

MA CHIEMEKA

Shut up! Just go now and call your father!

NNEKA

Okay.

(Nneka leaves.)

MA CHIEMEKA

(Speaking to herself) Hmm! Children of nowadays are no longer afraid. Imagine this woman coming to my house. To my own house! She's not even afraid! Such audacity! To do what now if I may ask! I wonder! Well let me wait for her lover to come out first before I go and finish off the two both of them. I can hardly wait to meet this woman who wants to spoil my home!

(Meanwhile Papa Edu enters the parlor to meet the visitor.)

PAPA EDU

Welcome my dear. Welcome to my home.

IJEOMA

Thank you sir!

NNEKA

Should I go and call mama?

PAPA EDU

(Gives her a quizzical look) What for? But all the same you can go and call her. In fact call Edu and that Henry too. I will like all of you to be present once again!

NNEKA

Okay off I go!

(Ma Chiemeka enters with Edu.)

EDU

Good afternoon papa.

PAPA EDU

Yes Edu, good afternoon.

EDU

Good afternoon madam.

IJEOMA

Good afternoon. How are you doing?

EDU

I'm fine, thank you.

IJEOMA

Good afternoon madam.

MA CHIEMEKA

Good afternoon.

EDU

Papa, Nneka said you are calling us.

PAPA EDU

Oh yes, I am. Where are the others?

(Nneka enters)

PAPA EDU

Nneka where is Henry?

NNEKA

Papa he said he is coming.

PAPA EDU

Okay I don't think we will continue to wait for him to show up. I have some very important thing I want to... oh ho! Here he comes...

HENRY

Good day sir.

PAPA EDU

Good day, Sir. Please sir, we were waiting for you to finish whatever you were doing before we can start but thank God you have finally decided to come...

HENRY

Papa please stop! You should know that I am in the mood for any of your high jinks. I am not ready for that kind of thing. I can see you have a visitor so please if there is anything meaningful you want to say, why don't you just start!

PAPA EDU

Alright Sir Henry the Great, since you have decided to accord me at least a little form of respect in front of my visitor, I appreciate that. Well like you said let us start by me introducing all of you to my visitor. Mrs. Halima, this is my wife Mama Chiemeka, these are my sons; the elder one is Henry, the other one is his junior brother Chinedu. This is my daughter Nneka. Well my people this is Mrs. Halima. She is one of our directors at the Head Office. I invited her to this house today. I believe there is something she wants to tell us all...

MA CHIEMEKA

Did you say your Head Office? So it is true, eh?

PAPA EDU

What is true?

MA CHIEMEKA

I mean your problems at the office. The story you told us. So finally it is true? So they have finally come after you... after us?

PAPA EDU

Well I believe Mrs. Halima is here for something else. Please let us hear her out first.

MA CHIEMEKA

Oho! She's here for something else you say? Oh yes it has been long overdue since I have been waiting to hear from her so please madam you can start telling us how you plan to take over my husband—

NNEKA

Maama! This is not the time!

PAPA EDU

Please my dear, don't be embarrassed by my wife's outburst. She is under a huge emotional and psychological stress...

IJEOMA

(Sniggers) I understand.

MA CHIEMEKA

My God! What did she just say?! What do you understand? Of course I know you will understand. You will surely understand! What I don't understand is what it is you really want from my husband...

NNEKA

Mama... I'm not with you on this...

HENRY

Nneka shut up! What do you know, you small girl?! Wait; let me give to her the rough side of my tongue! The fool! She thinks she can reap where she did not sow!

EDU

(Scoffs) What's your problem? Mama, I keep on telling you, that's the problem with you! Why have you all decided to embarrass yourselves in the presence of papa's visitor? I can't understand you people anymore. Please if you will agree to pipe down, I will really like to know what she really wants to say.

HENRY

Idiot! Playing the good son all the time, huh?!

PAPA EDU

(Cuts in) Please Ijeoma don't be embarrassed by all these displays. This is just a normal family tiff though it has not always been like this...

MA CHIEMEKA

Ijeoma? Hia! So she's no longer Mrs. Halima? Hmm! Papa Edu your own is finished! I pity you! Look at what you've done to yourself!

IJEOMA

Please it's alright. I think I understand what is going on here but we will come to that when the times comes. Right now—

MA CHIEMEKA

(Cuts in) Excuse me. There's something I still don't get here! Papa Edu says when the right time comes; this lady here you call Halima or Ijeoma or whatever she calls herself says when the time comes. Okay it's alright but I keep on wondering when will this right time ever come?

NNEKA

Mama, if only you will be able to control yourself, I think the right time has come. Please let us hear whatever she wants to say first...

PAPA EDU

I love that! Thank you Nneka. Ijeoma please let's begin!

IJEOMA

Thank you sir. Thank you everybody. You see people, I am from our bank headquarters like your father said. I am aware of the problems that your father had at the bank but that is not the reason why I am here. So you all can relax because I am not here to enforce the grave punishment that your father has incurred at the office—

MA CHIEMEKA

(Cuts in) Then why are you here?!

PAPA EDU

Mama Chiemeka, now that's enough! I say that's enough, do you hear me?! Enough is enough! What's your problem? I will not allow you to continue to embarrass our visitor. Why don't you listen to what she has to say?

EDU

Mama what papa is saying is true.

HENRY

(Scoffs) A fool will never learn but in your own case Chinedu, you will learn someday only that by then I'm sure it will be a very bitter pill for you to swallow.

IJEOMA

So what I was saying is that I am here to tell you about somebody. I hope you have heard this name Mr. Ted Roberts?

MA CHIEMEKA

Mr. Ted Roberts! Is that not the same white criminal that fooled my husband at your bank?

IJEOMA

Exactly! He is the one but—

MA CHIEMEKA

(Cuts in) So has he been apprehended?

IJEOMA

Not in that sense, madam...

HENRY

So what has happened to him? Is he dead?

IJEOMA

Well a lot has happened to him. First I will like to correct your notion about the white man madam, he is not a criminal. He was just an ordinary businessman who was only seeking for what was good for him...

MA CHIEMEKA

At the expense of my husband and his family huh?

IJEOMA

No ma. Not really... in that sense.

MA CHIEMEKA

Then tell me, in what sense then?

IJEOMA

I am coming to that madam. You see, I have a letter here from Mr. Ted for your father.

NNEKA

A letter for papa? Hmm that is strange o! Hmm, I wonder what really happened to this Mr. Ted then?

IJEOMA

You see, what happened to him was that Mr. Ted Roberts was actually kidnapped by some faceless Niger-Delta militants hence his disappearance!

HENRY

What?!

IJEOMA

Yes. It was about a month after he was supposed to have started paying back the money borrowed that he fell into the hands of those terrible thugs when he travelled to Port Harcourt.

EDU

No wonder! That explains his sudden disappearance, his unavailability and inability to commence with the loan repayment which he took in papa's name!

IJEOMA

Exactly!

NNEKA

So that is what happened?

HENRY

Okay but let me ask, how does this sudden reappearance of this Mr. Roberts solve the problem papa said he has?

MA CHIEMEKA

It should because from my own understanding, what it means is that we can now point a finger at the person, that's the criminal who is responsible for the theft...

PAPA EDU

And who will that be woman? It seems you don't understand what has happened.

MA CHIEMEKA

Please help explain to me because I can't understand why the sudden reappearance of the fraudster will not signal the end of this whole sordid affair.

IJEOMA

Well the answers you seek are contained in this his letter. I was there with him when he wrote the whole thing. I will like your father to read out the letter to you all.

NNEKA

Wait Madam Halima, I don't need to hear the content of the letter. What I want to know is whether my father has been set free or not!

IJEOMA

Of course your papa is free!

MA CHIEMEKA, NNEKA and EDU

Thank God!

HENRY

Hmm! Okay. Well, I guess that's a great news to hear. Me, I thank God too!

PAPA EDU

Yes we should be thanking God. That is exactly what we should be doing!

IJEOMA

In the letter, Mr. Ted Roberts explained all that happened to him. He has personally asked me to help him express his gratitude to your father and the whole family too concerning the great stress and trouble his long absence definitely must have caused. He said he will never believe he was going to meet a Nigerian like your father again in his life.

MA CHIEMEKA

I hope he does not mean a foolish Nigerian like my husband...?

IJEOMA

No, not of course!

HENRY

So papa wait a minute, does this mean you will no longer be handing over those properties to the bank anymore?

PAPA EDU

Yes o! Henry. All our assets are now intact! No shaking!

NNEKA

Yes, Papa! I support you, yes o! Thank God! No shaking!

IJEOMA

Wait... the truth is that the time for celebrations will certainly come but right now we are still in the process of finalizing and tying up some certain loose ends in this whole business.

MA CHIEMEKA

God in heaven, I thank you. Let it be true o! Let my enemies be put to shame. Now talking about loose ends, I think Papa Edu you have to start by telling us who this woman you sometimes call Madam Halima and sometimes you call Ijeoma really is. Who is she to you and what does she stand to gain in this whole affair?

PAPA EDU

Women! I know you will definitely bring this up because I know your joy will never be complete until you tie that very loose end, right? Anyway, I will not help you out on this one. Why don't you see if you can guess for yourself who she really is? Just take a very good look at her...

MA CHIEMEKA

Of course I have my very own interest and the interests of my children to protect so you don't have to blame me if I sound so possessive. But come to think of it I don't think I can guess who she is except you are ready to tell me that she is no longer who I thought she is...

NNEKA

Maama! Tufiakwa!

MAMA CHIEMEKA

Hey, will you shut up there, my friend! You, tufiakwa!

IJEOMA

This is really really funny sir. Who does she really think I am?

PAPA EDU

Please don't just tell them now. I want them to conclude for themselves.

EDU

Papa please tell us. Who is she? I can't recognize because to say the truth, I don't think I've ever seen her before.

HENRY

Me too. Okay papa, please tell us.

PAPA EDU

Well I said you people should take a closer look at her and yet none of you could recognize her but that's simply because you have prejudged her being even before getting to meet her. That is why it is so difficult for any of to see or recognize anything. Of course this madam Halima whom I also called Ijeoma is my daughter!

MA CHIEMEKA

What?! What did you just say papa Chiemeka?! She's your what—?

PAPA EDU

I said she is my daughter. My own blood!

NNEKA

This is unbelievable!

HENRY

Yes this is quite unbelievable as well as shocking. Damn! Papa you really mean she is your daughter? You mean you have another daughter and we never knew? Wow! This is quite unbelievable!

PAPA EDU

That is why I said you should look closely at her and you will see for yourselves.

MA CHIEMEKA

Wait a minute... Chi m o  It's true o! There are some resemblances. I can see your jaw in her, her way of smiling too, yes, an even her eyes, I think, is similar to yours Papa Chiemeka!

EDU

But papa, is she not Hausa? I thought she's Hausa. But she looks like a Hausa woman, am I wrong?!

PAPA EDU

Oh yes! Her mother is.

MA CHIEMEKA

Hmm... Papa Chiemeka, don't tell me you have a Hausa wife all these years and nobody knew about her all this time...?

PAPA EDU

Of course nobody knew about her and I didn't tell you because I had no reason to tell you. You see, besides your paternal grandparents and me, no one really knew about her existence. Knew of their existence... Besides, I didn't actually marry her.

NNEKA

Hmm papa, I'm afraid I have to say it but it's now that we are beginning to realize that really we don't know you at all.

PAPA EDU

Of course you don't but I am glad that Henry did, Henry of all people discovered that earlier than all of you when he said mentioned it and said I was manipulating all of you.

MA CHIEMEKA

But is that what you have really been doing Papa Chiemeka?

PAPA EDU

No. Not exactly in that sense, my dear.

HENRY

But papa, how did you discover her, I mean this madam—Ijeoma?

PAPA EDU

Or you should say how did she discover me? You see, I have never seen her before. I have never set my eyes on her before. I left her mother or rather her mother and I separated even before she was born and I've never seen her again since then...

NNEKA

Oh, that's a pity.

IJEOMA

I agree with you. It was a pity growing up just having just the memories of your father from the brief recollection of him by your mother.

EDU

So auntie, how did you find out papa?

PAPA EDU

Chinedu, she is not your auntie. She is your sister!

IJEOMA

Leave him alone papa. You see some people call it destiny. Some call it fate, me I believed it will happen one day. And happen it did! I was right inside my office at our Head Office in Lagos one day when this photograph was brought to me. My colleague who brought it to me was making jest of the whole thing.

He was telling me that this is the picture of the scapegoat that the bank is going to use as a warning to those employees who undertake or embark on certain frivolous or shady deals by messing with other peoples' money while at the same time bypassing all the laid down banking procedures, strictly for their own personal gains. He just brought the picture to show me how much he thought I shared some striking resemble with the man in the photo.

He laughed and said that the Igbo man in question has really bought it! One look at the picture and my world took another turn. All my life growing up as a Northerner, I never forgot for once that my mother told me that my father was an Igbo man. I didn't tell people this so naturally most people, they thought I was just Hausa.

I have been dreaming and praying to meet my father but I was never lucky. So you can imagine my shock when I looked at that picture. I managed to conceal my surprise or rather expression from this my friend at the headquarters. I immediately made plans to take a leave and come down to Enugu all the way from Lagos to see things for myself hopefully. I also read the whole file concerning man and the deal that he was involved in.

I obtained your father's contact number from the bank's database; and on coming down here, I then called on him and arranged a meeting between us in a hotel. It's strange but I had this personal conviction that if I was within a feet of my father, I will definitely know it is him. I wanted to find out if he will also know it is me likewise. I hope you will not take that my line of thinking as a childish one?

EDU

No, of course! I definitely understand. Nneka, is that not what you psychology people call telepathy?

NNEKA EDU

Shut up there! What do you know about telepathy? Please auntie... sorry auntie Ijeoma continue with your awesome tale. This whole thing is quite amazing and intriguing!

IJEOMA

(Chuckles) But he's right. It's called telepathy. Anyway as I was saying, so I came to down to Enugu. I started making enquiries. I was determined to see the end of this thing. When I met papa for the first time, I was so shocked. Even without being told, I knew he was my father. But frankly speaking, he was not like anything in my dream. I must say, when I met him, he was looking so downtrodden and finished that I immediately felt so sorry for him.

But I was very careful in dealing with him. The telepathy you talked about Chinedu never happened from Papa's angle because I believe then he was totally weighed down by the calamity which he has brought upon his family all in the name of doing business and so I wasn't so surprised that he never recognized me—or at least, my mother's face in me!

But then, I still pressed on. I wanted to know what he was doing, who he was, what his past was like, if he has ever been to the North, if he was ever married to someone else before, I wanted to know if he could recall my mother's name, there was so much I wanted to learn at once but I decided to take it piecemeal by piecemeal.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I knew I had to gain his trust for him to take me into his confidence. I told him I am from the bank and I have heard about his case. I told him I knew some people who could help him out if he cooperates. Now, I must add this; I also observed that papa was very faithful to his wife.

He never liked the idea of meeting a strange woman in the hotel but then he had no choice because he was desperately in need of a lifeline. But I needed to keep him to myself. And I didn't want us to be disturbed. That was why I changed venue when the receptionist at the hotel where we normally meet told us that one young girl was making enquiries concerning us. I believe that must have been you, Nneka?

But anyway after some reluctance from your father, he finally opened up. He disclosed to me that he was at a time in love with one Hausa woman when he was living in the north. He said he wanted to marry her. No words can describe the joy I felt in my heart when he correctly mentioned her name.

But at some point, he became so wary and suspicious and even questioned my reasons for wanting to know all these but when I reminded him again that I represented the bank and I could help ease things up for him if he disclosed these things to me, well, I guess, he found it easier to carry on.

At a stage during our discussion, I think papa even asked me if I knew his old love and if I could help him locate her since he thought I was Hausa. He told me that he was not married to the girl although he would have done so if not for his father who insisted that he will have nothing to do with him again in this life if he succeeds in bringing a Hausa woman home as his wife.

By that time according to papa, the girl in question, that is my mother, was pregnant with me. Papa said it was also at this time that the Maitatsine religious riots of 1980 broke out in Kano and later spread to other areas in the North and many Easterners fled the North. So somehow he had to leave my mother.

When I was growing up, I could recall that my mother once told me that my father told her before he left her that if she eventually gives birth to a male child, she should name him Ifeanyichukwu which you know means with God everything is possible in Igbo. She told me he also said that if the child was a female, her name should be Ijeoma. So when I asked papa if he could remember the name of that child, he told me that the child's name will be Ijeoma if she happens to be girl. I knew then that my search was over. I have finally found my father! The long hands of fate, you may say! Who would have believed that my father and I were working under the same corporation?

They say that whatever happens in this life happens for a reason. As for me, I will say that whatever took Mr. Ted Roberts to meet papa on that fateful day was for my own good and nothing else. When I knew papa was ready for the great revelation, I told him who I was. By then, I think he must have sensed it because there was a way he reacted. You should have seen the way he cried when he asked after my mother.

MA CHIEMEKA

So how is your mother, my dear?

IJEOMA

Unfortunately mama, my mother died twenty four years ago when I was still ten. But I still bear the memory of all she told me concerning my father in my mind up till this day. I so much believe she must have loved him so much.

PAPA EDU

Of course she did. Five years later after the riots were over, I went back to Kano and tried to trace her back but I was not successful. She was living with her uncle then. I later heard from some reliable sources that when her uncle found out she was pregnant, he sent her packing. No one knew what happened to her afterwards.

When I see what you young people call or say about love today, oftentimes I just cringe. During our own time, I must tell you, what we have back then is not in any way comparable to what I see today or what you today university students' idea of love looks like. What we had then was real, pure, selfless, and unadulterated unconditional love!

NNEKA

Wow Paapa! Looking at you now talking about love now, no one would believe you've ever fallen in love in your life before. No one, except maybe mama! Hmm... I will like to hear the story of how you two met someday!

PAPA EDU

You can say what you like. Even after I came back from the North, I swore never to get married again in this life to show you the extent of how much I loved and missed Nafisa. She was my first love. It became a very big problem between my parents and me. Till today, sometimes I still wonder how your mother got me!

MA CHIEMEKA

Foolish man! Who got you? Were you not the one that was always coming to the village stream to watch me under the pretext that you like the lonely and serene nature of the village stream? You think I never knew your sinister motive then? Please my daughter, don't mind this man; continue with this your incredible story...

IJEOMA

So after I have revealed myself to papa, he wanted to tell you people about my existence but I decided against that. Time was running out fast and I was more interested in getting to the root of this Mr. Ted issue so I obtained all the information I needed from papa. I knew some top people in the police force who could get things done. Working with the information we gave them, they quickly tracked and located the whereabouts of Mr. Ted. It happened that his captors later released him after holding him in captive for more than two months when no foreign organization came forward to pay the ransom for his release.

EDU

So what would have happened if Mr. Ted was not found?

IJEOMA

Hmm, a lot could have happened. Tell them papa!

PAPA EDU

Well, you see, you all know that I rushed off to Benin. Actually I travelled with your sister Ijeoma to that Benin. We were there to collect back the papers that I have earlier on handed over to one estate dealer who was recommended to me by a friend. I have handed over those papers to him so that he could help me get a better deal on the prices of those my assets instead of leaving it in the hands of the bank who will of course value everything down leaving me in a huge debt.

EDU

So wait... papa you have even concluded the sale of this house and other things a long time ago?

PAPA EDU

Something like that! So you can begin now to imagine my deep anxiety when Henry said he was fighting to protect what he never knew was almost no longer there. Though it was also amusing, in a way, I must admit.

Anyway, I couldn't predict him but you know of course, you cannot predict you youths of nowadays so that was why I had to act very fast. Who knows what could have happened if he decides to carry out his threat? I told your sister about this development. This your new sister right here was the one who pulled the necessary strings and helped me get back those papers and singlehandedly restored my dignity once more!

If you ask me, I'll say this is nothing but the handiwork of the good Lord whom I serve! I wanted to tell you people that day that I came back from Benin but unfortunately you people have concluded on another issue. You were operating on a different plane different from the one I was in that night. So that was why I kept on telling you guys that that was not the right time.

NNEKA

But papa you should have at least told us any in case.

PAPA EDU

Oh yes, I should have but not when you people have concluded on whatever you have concluded. Imagine how shocking it was to me when I discovered that you people have even started having doubts whether I was really involved in any financial mishandling or not. I was so much confused and I never knew how to clear the air at that very moment! Not that you people would have given me the chance then! Chiemeka here, was really spoiling for a fight!

Apart from that, putting all of you in suspense was so amusing as well as exhilarating and the best part was watching Chiemeka expressing his angst and frustrations over nothing!

NNEKA

Haba Paapa! So you knew what you were doing all along?! It's not fair!

MA CHIEMEKA

Didn't I tell you you don't know your father? This man, you just wait till you see all that he has in his bag of tricks!

EDU

Sorry Papa, what of the money borrowed from the bank? Has it been paid back?

IJEOMA

Everything! Everything has been paid back by Mr. Ted including the accrued interest...

MA CHIEMEKA

So where is this Mr. Ted right now? I would have loved to see him so that I could at least ask him for forgiveness. Hmm, I can't believe this. So it turns out that Papa Chiemeka was actually a good judge of men? Well, what am I even saying? Of course I know he is! That was why I married him in the first place...

NNEKA

Hmm maama!

HENRY

So where is Mr. Ted now?

IJEOMA

Right now Mr. Ted is with his family in Annapolis, Maryland in the United States of America but he has some good news for papa. So why don't you tell them papa?

PAPA EDU

(Hesitates) You know I would have loved it if you told them yourself but all the same, let me tell them myself. You see, the good news is that I have resigned from the bank!

MA CHIEMEKA, EDU, HENRY and NNEKA

You did what?!

PAPA EDU

Oh yes! I have resigned from the bank. I am no longer with them. My daughter Ijeoma tried to stop me but she couldn't. You see, Mr. Ted Roberts has offered me a job as his company's head representative here in Nigeria and I have accepted. The job comes with so many juicy side attractions that I could hardly resist. For example, Mr. Ted has given me control over those two vehicles he used as collateral, just for a start!

IJEOMA

Paapa, is that all? Why don't you just tell them the whole truth?

PAPA EDU

(Chuckles) Wait, must I say everything?

IJEOMA

Yes.

PAPA EDU

Okay, I will. Also Mr. Ted has also told me to keep the ten percent we agreed initially agreed he would pay me for helping him out. He has equally handed over the check for this payment to me.

MA CHIEMEKA

And what is this ten percent? Chinedu?

EDU

Wow! That's cool five million naira! Papa you are too much! I doff my cap for you!

NNEKA

This is unbelievable!

HENRY

Edu, did you just say five million naira?! Hey papa, I thought you told us previously that he was going to pay you around five hundred thousand naira? Haba, paapa! You are really something else!

PAPA EDU

Shut up you small boy! What do you know? Don't you know that the palm wine tapper does not reveal all that he see from the top of the palm tree?

MA CHIEMEKA

Hmm! Amen alleluia! Somebody tell me this is for real!

NNEKA

It is for real mama!

MA CHIEMEKA

So when are we going for our Thanksgiving mass? I will like it to be the upper Sunday after Easter Sunday so that all our Christian mothers can come and grace the occasion...

EDU

Hmm, Mama I bow for you! You are too much! You are too wonderful! Just now, now, now, you've planned on how to celebrate... hmm?

MA CHIEMEKA

Why shouldn't I celebrate, tell me Chinedu, why shouldn't I? Your father is now a confirmed millionaire! We are now millionaires! God has blessed us through this Mr. Ted Roberts! And on top of that, we now have another family member in the person of Ijeoma. And what a big addition that is! In fact we have everything now! God be praised!

IJEOMA

Please mama, there's one more thing!

MA CHIEMEKA

What is it?! Just mention it and it will be granted immediately for you my dear daughter!

IJEOMA

Well, I will be returning to Lagos very soon as my leave is almost rounding up but I will like Henry, Edu and Nneka to come with me to Lag, even if it is for just the weekend. I think we've got a lot of catching up to do.

MA CHIEMEKA

It is not only them. I am coming with you too.

NNEKA

No mama, you are not going anywhere! I suggest you should stay back. You should look after your husband after all you are no longer going to share him with any other woman. Let's say you two should be planning on something like a great honeymoon where you can have him all to yourself and enjoy him all by yourself... ha ha ha!

MA CHIEMEKA

(Laughing) Idiot! You want me to stay back with who? With this old man? Please stop pulling my leg! What is there left in him to enjoy?

PAPA EDU

Alright! It is settled. They will be leaving with you Ijeoma. Why are we not even celebrating this very thing right now? What about the drinks, someone should go and arrange something like pammy for us. Henry?

EDU

Henry is it! He knows the best pammy joints in this Enugu!

HENRY

Idiot, wait let me get you first. But first I have something to say. Papa, I must begin now to tell you how sorry I am for what I have said to you in the past. You know, I said those things but it's because I thought I was just protecting our family interest.

EDU

(Chuckles) Henry I take that as a plea for forgiveness to papa huh?! I thought you said you will never apologize?

HENRY

Idiot! What's your business with what I am asking from papa? You should let papa respond. So papa please I repeat myself, on behalf of the whole family, I am very sorry for all I said about you and auntie Ijeoma and the things I did too to you...Nneka, I hope it's not me that you are laughing at? Because if I get you... if I lay my hands on you, eh...

IJEOMA

Please go and arrange that pammy. You know I have never tasted that pammy although I have heard so much about it! I am only used to our Northern burukutu.

HENRY

Wow! So you do drink alcohol at all? That's good to hear because that shows it runs in the family and I'm not the only one! Anyway, off I go. Expect me to be bringing you the very best of pammy!

PAPA EDU

You better do. At least that is one thing you know how to do very well.

HENRY

Auntie Ijeoma, did you hear him? Did you hear what our father just said? There is something I am very good at besides protecting our family interest. I will be back very soon...

(Curtains fall)

THE END

#  List of Words as Commonly Used In Nigerian Parlance

Sef : A Nigerian exclamation used in speeches to show either contempt, indifference or lack of interest.

Egusi soup: Avery popular, favorite and delicious Nigerian soup made from melon seeds.

Akpu (origin Igbo): A very heavy and starchy food made from fermented cassava.

Haba :A Nigerian exclamation showing or expressing disbelief or impatience.

Na wa o! - A Nigerian expression showing surprise, amazement or even confusion.

Wahala: A Nigerian (origin Hausa) word for trouble or problem.

Igbo: A Nigerian slang for marijuana.

Pammy: A Nigerian slang for palm wine.

Biko: Nigerian (origin Igbo) word for please.

419: Advanced fee fraud.

Chineke (origin Igbo): Literally translates to God of Creation but mostly used in exclamatory expressions to show surprise, disbelief and wonder.

Mugu: A Nigerian slang meaning a gullible person or a fool.

Jazz: A Nigerian slang for black magic or charms.

Oga: A Nigerian slang that means boss.

Yahoo (also referred to as yahooze): A Nigerian slang meaning internet scams. Yahoo boys are known as the internet scammers.

Dash: A free gift.

Nwa m: Igbo expression which means 'my child'.

Tufiakwa! - An Igbo exclamation meaning either 'Shame on you' or 'God forbid' depending on the context where it is being used.

Naija: Nigerian slang for Nigeria.

Soludo: In reference to the Mr. Charles Soludo, a one-time governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria and an internationally acclaimed economist.

Chi m o! - An Igbo expression for showing surprise or shock. It literally translates to 'My God!'

Lag: Nigerian slang for Lagos.

Burukutu: An alcoholic drink made from millet.

#  Other Titles by Emmy Boy

Ify(A Romantic Thriller) : A young man, who hardly believes in love, enters a bus, meets a pretty young lady, and has some thrilling, wonderful, exciting, and shocking experience that completely alters his whole life.

Getting Him To Stay: Understand him. Know what he wants from you. Make him to commit to you.

Funny Shady Bible Stories You Were Never Told: A funny compilation of some of the weirdest and funniest Bible stories you were never told.

# About The Author

Emmy Boy is just your ordinary everyday easygoing and fun-loving Nigerian guy who thinks he sees humor everywhere and his compilation Funny Shady Bible You Were Never Told is his first major attempt in trying to heal the world with humor!

In his spare time, he fiddles with his favorite hobbies like computer programming, surfing the web, daydreaming and thinking big.

A staunch believer in the principles of live and let live, he is still single and searching—after all these years. Don't let him know I told you this but he once confessed to me he really likes women who can whisper dirty things into his ears...

Can you imagine!

Anyway, you can connect with him to get a peep into his unconventional mind on his blog www.misyarn.com where he shares his crazy mind for free. He also claims he tries to make someone somewhere laugh out loud everyday with his insightful though bogus and hilarious stories on that same blog too.

You can also catch up with him, if you can, and possibly stalk him till kingdom come, if you so desire on:

Facebook: Facebook profile

Twitter: undertakerz

Email: myemmyboy@gmail.com

