Let me just say two words
that'll make you very excited:
Regis Philbin!
(crowd cheering)
(funky music)
(mellow music)
(crowd cheering)
What an audience you've got here!
Calm it down, people!
(crowd laughing)
Yeah, everybody loves them some Rege.
Yeah, how are you?
Thank you very much.
(crowd cheering)
(jazzy music)
Stop that!
I'd like to learn something.
Making my own bacon and eggs.
(crowd laughing)
But let me explain what many--
There's nothing in there yet, baby.
Hey, UPS!
Hi, UPS!
Oh, he drove away.
He brushed us!
The guy brushed us!
(crowd laughing)
Is there oil in that pan, Regis?
Oh, he just set it on fire!
(crowd laughing)
I can't read it now!
Hey!
There you go!
Set the pan on fire.
(crowd cheering)
Hey!
Yay!
There you go.
Nothing works here!
(crowd laughing and cheering)
Ooh, sorry, Rege.
Nobody knows anything!
Very nice, Rege.
(crowd applauding)
Grab a little bit of olive oil.
Now watch this!
That's it, put the hand up behind the head.
Yes.
Just a little drizzle.
(crowd laughing)
Love it.
Give it a stir.
You can put a little bit of salt and pepper
but I really don't think it needs it because--
I don't think so either!
Good man.
Throw it in the bowl!
(roars)
He-Man in the kitchen!
Yes, Regis!
When you say, "drench"--
That's coating the meat in the flour.
Put it in here.
Yes.
Just stick it in.
Put it in, yes.
You think you're better than me, don't you?
(kids laughing)
Can I get rid of these thongs?
Well.
Yes!
Sweetie, thongs are...
(kids laughing)
Thongs are the underwear.
You're gonna stir that up
like we were making a mayonnaise.
Stir it up here.
And now if it gets too cold,
just stop stirring.
I can't see it!
Where is it?
There we go.
You're ruining my dish!
(crowd laughing)
Hold your knife flat, there you go.
Honest to God, this is tough, isn't it?
It's hard, it is hard to cut a watermelon.
There you go, perfect, great!
(crowd cheering)
Now one more (crowd drowns out speech).
God bless you all!
Now look at this, kid!
You are,
you're doing it!
Look!
Look at that!
(crowd cheering)
No problem!
(crowd cheering)
Look at Regis go!
You can do it, Rege!
You're doing
a great job.
I've got it!
Okay.
(crowd laughing)
Use my hands?
Use your hands, Rege.
Oh, give it to me, Rege.
Get it (laughs).
You gotta handle it.
(crowd laughing)
Look at that.
Oh!
Oh!
It's too hot!
It's burning my hands!
Well, put it down!
(crowd laughing)
How many years have you been married?
43.
Nice.
(crowd cheering)
Well, you know, Joy was 12 years old
and I married her
and there she is.
Oh!
(crowd cheering)
Well, here I am all alone there, but nobody--
Oh my God, look how good you look in tights!
(crowd cheering)
Oh, what is this Rege?
This is my favorite--
you want the other side, kiss softly.
Yes, baby.
How 'bout on the head?
Thank you, baby.
Mwah!
Do you guys do a lot of entertaining at the house?
No.
Yes.
(laughing)
I like white bread.
Is there anything wrong with Regis?
Can I have some white bread alone?
"No," she says, "you should have the--"
The whole grain.
The whole, the whole g--
You don't want the whole grain!
I don't the wheat!
You want white bread!
Exactly!
Now--
And you're Regis!
Can I get that?
Oh, anybody can pick up a Campbell's Soup can
and do this with it.
Yeah, exactly.
That's exactly what I use when I work out,
a Campbell's Soup.
(laughing)
Look at that, for crying out loud!
(laughing)
I can do better than that!
(crowd cheering)
Mr. Muscles, Mr. Muscles!
You're just getting warmed up!
Regis, left hand yellow!
What?
Left hand yellow.
Left hand yellow, are you crazy?
I can't!
It's literally like Regis Philbin playing with--
The whole idea is they can be used
for kids' craft materials,
for shoes, for spices.
For hairspray.
(crowd laughing)
Sorry, we ran out of (crowd drowns out speech).
What is going on here today?
I don't know.
This is unbelievable.
Here it is!
That is great.
(crowd laughing)
Only Regis gets the standing ovation.
That's right, it was--
Thank you very much!
(jazz music)
(crowd cheering)
(mellow music)
(crowd cheering)
(chimes twinkling)
