Hi guys
welcome to today's self-care Sunday
video
so I've been thinking for the past few
days that what should I talk about in my
next self-care sunday
um video and before I dive into what I
really want to talk about
I feel like I just want to say thank you
I know I keep saying thank you to you
guys but I want to say thank you to you
guys because
this has become a series that i'm really
looking forward to it's also become an
opportunity for me to sit down and glam
but not talk about the makeup which is
really great because I talk about makeup
a lot so it's sort of become like
my own little I was going to say escape
but that sounds so harsh like I don't
need an escape from makeup
but still like you know it's just become
one of those things where I'm sitting
down
doing my makeup and talking to my
friends I genuinely feel like I'm
talking to my friends whenever
I sit down to talk to you guys candidly
like I feel like this is
really my zone so when I see comments
down below that say things like the
and I feel like you're my friend I think
you should know that I feel like that
too
and I think I'm a lot more excited about
having you guys
as my friend because as my friends
because there's so many more of you and
then there's just like
one me um but it's something that really
excites me because I get to sit here I
get to talk my heart out
in fact in previous self-care sunday
series I had Gerry with me in the video
which was really cool
he wasn't feeling very chatty that day
but he still wanted to be part of the
video because he felt like
the little input that he had might
really matter to the context of the
video because the entire video was about
us but today I want to kind of talk
about something that we get to see
a lot of on the internet and it's a
little bit contradictory it's a little
bit
controversial not controversial but it's
a little bit contradictory to itself
because we see so much on the internet
about being positive
and um I just feel like a lot of it
is not necessarily positive like that
sounds so weird it's meant to be
positive but it's not necessarily
positive
and I'm gonna give you context on what I
mean by that
and how I mean that it's not positive
right I feel like I should give you
context I'm gonna go ahead and link all
of the details of the makeup I'm using
down below so please take a look at that
um fyi
I want today's look to be like very
glam I'm really hoping to get a glam
look because it's been a while since I
like
went all out and did a full glam face
as I say that I have realized main apna beauty
blender bhul chuki hu
but we'll be back in a second okay so I
said a lot of things in the last
five minutes and I realized that I
wasn't wording them correctly so I'm
kind of starting this video from scratch
which is why you suddenly see me with my
foundation on and halfway through my
concealer
um I need to word my words I need to
word my words carefully yeah well I do
need to word my words carefully
and that's because I don't want you guys
to get the wrong impression of anything
I say like I don't sound like I'm
dissing anyone or throwing shade on
anyone ever that is never never never
never never my intention
so here's why I chose a topic like fake
positivity on the internet for today's
video
um a lot of times on the internet we see
posts that are
meant to uplift us they come from a
great intention
they usually tell you about some good
things you can do to uplift your mood
and I'm someone who believes in having a
set of things that instantly picks me up
so I'm also one of those people
that goes back to my list of things
which i will share with you
in this video at some point um that
instantly pick me up but I
also kind of want to address through
this video that if you are someone who's
seen a post like this or read a book
like this or seen a video
and you try those things and they don't
pick you up
it's not a bad thing there's nothing
that's wrong with you
there have been times in my own life
that I've like for me example
just simple example putting it out there
one of the things that instantly makes
me feel better is taking a nice
hot shower it's just one of those things
that really works for me
um I'm specifying for me because it
may work for me and it may not work for
you maybe a cold shower will work for
you maybe a
swim in the cold ocean or in a pool will
work for you I'm not sure I'm just
putting it out there for me
this is what uplifts my mood I enjoy a
good
hot shower right um but there have been
times in the past
where I've taken a nice hot shower and
my mood is just so shitty that it
doesn't get
uplifted like either I'm in a bad mood
whether I'm angry or I'm sad
or I'm just basically feeling low like
it could be a mood thing it could be a
life phase thing
day phase thing or it could just be a
hormonal thing I could be pmsing you
know what i mean
so i kind of want to talk about a few
things we see on the internet that
typically are
meant to make us feel really good
but somehow sometimes land up making us
feel
worse and that's nobody's fault it's
just the way the internet communicates
things with us
so it's sort of like saying aap agar yeh vala nashta khao ath din ke liye toh apka weight loss ho jayega
arey
but you your body type could be
different right maybe you have pcod
maybe your pcos maybe you have thyroid
maybe you just generally have a slow
metabolism
it could be absolutely anything there's
no one-size-fits-all
logic to happiness to peace of mind
so what I'm going to say is that a lot
of us see on the internet things that
are
meant to make us feel better what they
actually
are are I think in my opinion a means
of forming a habit which over a process
of time can make you feel better
I'm gonna get a tad bit bit technical
over here
please please bear with me just one
minute I promise
um I remember studying like I've studied
psychology in college for a couple of
modules and I remember learning about
this
term my under eyes are looking so off um
all of the products will be mentioned
down below
don't worry won't miss out on that even
though I know I'm not talking about
makeup we won't miss out on that I
promise
um one of the terms that I remember
learning about and that has
really stuck with me is conditioning
especially like the one which was
classical conditioning now I don't
remember who came up with it because theory tha and utna muje yaad
but um basically classical conditioning
is the act
of doing something in a repeated manner
that puts you
that gives you a repeated result so for
example
if I take my laptop into bed and work
which I
barely ever do I do sometimes but like
very very very little
um I automatically start feeling like
lethargic
or start feeling lazy chill you know
what I mean because I'm in my bed
and that's what that bed makes me feel
like it makes me sleep it makes me
lounge it puts me in a relaxed mood
which is great because it's doing its
job the bed is doing its job
there are a lot of days where you guys
see me in my vlogs
sitting and working in my living room
and that gives me a really good balance
between
being able to juggle the house and being
able to work
I know the minute I'm in this office
room and I'm filming or I'm working
um what's on my face I just like did my
brows
and upper lip before filming this video
um so as I was saying
when I come into this office I know I'm
in like a full
work mode it's an energy that the space
brings for you
it's a it's classical conditioning I'm
used to walking into the space and my
head goes into like a muje kaam karna hai zone
please go ahead and look up what
classical conditioning means
um I can't get too technical on it right
now because it's just a term that I've
stuck with and I have a
basic idea a gist of it but if you want
to know the technical aspects of it I
definitely think you should look it up
so what I think a lot of these posts on
the internet tend to do
is while they kind of say that oh it's
an instant pick me up oh it makes me
feel better
you need to keep in mind that the person
who's saying that to you is feeling that
way because of
a certain repeated action that has got
them a certain repeated
result it may not be the exact same way
for you
I over a period of time have realized
that when I take showers
hot showers in the middle of the day just
to make myself feel better it actually
works
for me the first time you try it you
might just be like oh god I wasted four
minutes in the shower and I'm not
particularly
feeling better it's that push it's that
make it it's that fake it till you make
it while I'm feeling you know what I
mean
so I feel like one can't randomly expect
for things to feel better by doing one
action
having said that I do a hundred percent
genuinely feel like if you form a
habit of these things in a healthy
fashion
then there can be a certain set of
things that can make you
feel better that I believe for sure
and that has more to do with your will
that has more to do with your goals with
why you're forming a certain habit just
like so many other habits that are out
there
um that has more to do with why you're
doing what you're doing and your goal
of where you want to get with it I also
don't think it would be completely fair
for me to dive into the section
and tell you that anything to do with
repeated habits for a specific reason
are just things in general that people
should start forming like if you're in
your late teens early 20's even if you're
in your mid 20's
start forming certain habits that you
may have to push yourself
for now but things that will instantly
or like not instantly things that will
over a period of time
instantly uplift you you know what I
mean so I'll give you a
very simple example and I'm a fail
example of this but I'm trying to turn
that fail into a not fail
that is my current active short-term
goal that I've given myself
okay so I have attempted working out
regularly in
three different phases of my life that
I'm going to tell you about
so once when I was in the 12th grade
which I was in college and I joined the
gym really close to my house
like my mom's house now um I went to the
gym religiously for 10 months
and then I traveled a little bit and I
by the time I came back my gym membership
got over and I never renewed it
so that was phase one where I really
started seeing results of working out in
the sense that I was really really
really really skinny at that time
but what happened was i started getting
toned so it wasn't a weight
driven thing it was more of a toned
fitness driven thing one of the things
that I personally am very proud about
for myself is that
all the phases in my life where I've
really tried to work out
have been extremely fitness oriented and
not like muje aise dekhna hai ya etne inches loose karne hai
or anything like that that has changed
so I should say that the first two
phases in my life weren't like that but
I will come to that also in a bit
the second thing the second phase that I
had about working out
um was in 2000
and I want to say 2015 -16
I think it was around the time I got
engaged
now at this time I had randomly gained
like some 17-18 kilos
and the weight didn't bother me because
I was underweight anyway so I had
actually become a good weight for myself
but I had gained a lot in inches so
one of the things I realized about my
body a little later I think I came to
the realization
only like in 2018 or something
um was that once I turned 23 24
I don't know whatever gene in my body
like whether it was my metabolism or
whether it was my
I don't know whatever it was snapped so
earlier I used to eat and eat and eat
and I never gained any weight
and then after I turned 22 23 or
whatever
um i suddenly started gaining weight
in direct proportion to what I was
eating and my eating habits in itself
have been a fail
like for majority of my life which is
why I said I'm trying to turn that fail
into a not fail for myself
um so I'm not proud of my eating habits
at all I mean I laugh at myself but that
doesn't mean I'm proud of them it's
something that I'm actively trying to
change
I've switched my own breakfast from like
carb filled breads
and cereals to like poha's and upma's which
are
like lesser on carbs and more on like
just healthier side of things
so I'm trying to do those chotu chotu
things in my life
um circling back to the workout point I
worked out
regularly till about 2017-ish
okay I took a couple of months break in
the middle because of travels again
but I worked out actively till around
2017 then I
stopped then like then I just stopped
then
in 2019 I don't know why I stopped by
the way
then in 2019 I got back to working out
and I've been working out more or less
good enough since I'll tell you why in
July 2019 I signed up
to go to gym with a friend and I think
this really did it for me because not
only was I enjoying the gyming process
I was also enjoying meeting my friend
every other morning and working out with
her which was an amazing amazing thing
for someone like me
who enjoys meeting friends and not
necessarily always having the time to do
so so it was becoming like a
friend hangout plus gym thing so if
you're someone who's looking for a hack
maybe try this um however
in this year 2020 we're in august
as I as as I'm filming this it's
literally it's August 26th as I'm
filming this I'm guessing this video
will go up in September
um but the thing that happened with me
was once the
lockdown started in Feb and this is
where I
really royally messed
up I shouldn't have done this but what's
done is done I'm actively trying to
correct it
um I didn't work out at all like at all
from march
till march April May June July I went
five months with
zero work out and
my flat tummy and my fitness and the
little cuts I was getting to see in my
muscles because again I'm very fitness
oriented right
um it's not like I just don't care about
my toning I do it's not like I just
don't care about my inches I don't want
to make it sound like like I'm at level
100 of body positive I'm not it is an
active process
there are times when I catch myself
saying oh god you've gained so much
interest and I correct myself and I'm
like no but you still have to love
yourself
so like I'm on that journey myself too
but even just from the fitness
perspective I wasted of mera ek saal ka jo mera jo almost ek saal ka whatever 8-10 months
ka jo mera mehnat chal raha tha July August September October November December Jan Feb March-ish
9 months ka mehnat jo maine kia tha
it basically got royally washed off
through this lockdown now I know what
you'll say and I've had a lot of
super supportive friends telling me okay
you know it's okay you it's locked down
sabka wait gain ho raha hai and all of that
but what I started noticing about myself
through this lockdown by the time I
realized what was happening it was June
was that I was going through really
weird slumpy days
I talked about this in my vlogs I talked
about this on my instagram stories I
talked about this on my insta in some of
my instagram posts also
where I'm doing everything I'm sleeping
enough I'm working
I'm actively trying to talk to people on
video call you know human contact and
all of that
but something just kept feeling off and
I couldn't put a finger on it I
just couldn't put a finger on it by the
time I realized
I was like okay I need to correct this
you guessed right
what I was really kind of missing
um and what was becoming a really big
mood dampener for me was that I wasn't
working out at all
I basically it's not just about working
out my job is also such that muje
you know kafhi kuch like bahar rehna padhta hai I travel may events pe jate rehti hu
there's a lot of physical movement so
basically since
March apart from three canceled trips
and god knows how many cancel
events I had suddenly gone into like
this crazy slump jaha pe koi activity he nahi ho rahi thi
um and that really got to me
not just like emotionally but also
physically right that's why I landed up
gaining so many inches
quite a few kgs and I started getting
all of these comments on instagram
which were like you look pregnant
congratulations is there good news
and that kind of really threw me off
because I was like
this is not nice for me from a fitness
point of view
forget about the fact that this is weird
for people to comment in general
I mean that's not something anyone
should say it's not
normal to ask someone are you pregnant
because they put on a little bit of
weight
so forget about the weird comments angle
I'm talking about the impact of those
comments angle
they didn't make me hate my body but
what they did for me was make me realize
that I have completely fallen off
my own personal fitness journey so in a
way I should probably like thank them
what I'm getting to is ever since I
started working out again and I've been
working out
every single day for a while
every single day except Sunday's um and I
had to take a couple of days off in the
middle because I have one bad ankle if
you guys have seen my LA vlog from last
year
you know that I had an accident when was in Los Angeles
and basically I had to like rest my um
my like obviously because I had to
rest my left foot I had to rest both my
feet so for a few days I didn't work out
in the middle but
mostly I've been working out six days a
week even on days where I don't feel
like working out
I push myself just to do a warm-up and a
cool down
um I push myself just to do on on spot
walking on spot marching
I have joined an online zumba class
which happens twice a week
but what's really helping me I'm not
gonna lie more than anything
is that I have started doing I started
making like these playlists on youtube
which are private
um of really great workouts and they're
mostly cardio driven and then a couple
of them
are like toning driven or like complete
5000 steps in your place kind of a thing
then no equipment at home workouts so
it's just something that I've realized
even if I'm doing a little bit every
other day I'm
feeling better now if somebody told me
work out and you will feel better
I would laugh at them and I would be
like you don't know my lazy bum
that's not gonna make me feel better
that's just gonna die on me but
um what i've really come to realize
especially during this
lockdown workout that I've been doing
for a little over a month now
it is that my workouts are not leaving
me
tired my workouts are actually leaving
me
more energized and now I can finally
like I'm
in a place where I think I can say if
I'm feeling really low about something
like in the middle even on a Sunday when
I wasn't having such a great day
I put on the playlist I changed into my
workout gear I wore my shoes
um and I worked out and I just felt
better
I don't know the science of behind it
maybe it's I don't know maybe it's the
endorphins that are released dopamine
that's released I know that there are a
lot of these
hormones that work when you work out
that make you feel better and I'm not an
expert on them by any angle
maybe it's that what I'm trying to say
is for me to say to you that oh work out
and you will feel better
well working out on may not have the
same impact for you than it does to me
because for me it's a really personal
journey and for you maybe
it's just something you have to do maybe
it's more mechanical
it could be very mechanical for me it
works out for you when you tell me like
this
so no formula applies to like
everyone is what I'm trying to say
another thing that I want to kind of
highlight here is that
so many people let's just say
99% of the people um that exist
on social media and post regularly are
there to
highlight their high points of life not
everyone is going to talk about their
low points
I mean I know I make an active um I'm an
active advocate for like
showing my face without makeup and I'm
an active advocate for
not using crazy face tune filters to
smooth in my makeup out I'm not
but having said that so many people
might
be affected by what someone else is
doing
it all kind of rounds back down to see
that
positivity internet pe ek cheez hai but aap ko
dekhna hai ki jo kissi aur ko positive kare vo necessarily apko positive nahi karegi
it's not the same thing so it's not fair
to say to someone on the internet or at
least
word it carefully where we say oh if you
do this you will feel better I would
rather word it and say when
I do this I feel better but that's
because I formed a certain habit out of
it
and that really is the key word like for
me
if you told me three years ago Aanam you
would feel better about yourself
once you work out I promise you I would
laugh at you and be like
sure babe sure like because I'm not like
a
I'm not like a fitness junkie I'm not
someone who like actively
uh sets you know really hard goals for
myself my physical stamina is not
something to write home about
but today I feel yeah okay maybe it's
not much
but at least it's something at least
there's an effort and that's what counts
so if you see positivity on the internet
and you feel like someone is being
preachy from a point of
do this you'll feel better just
know that there's no guarantee I'm not
asking you to unfollow such people
I'm not asking you to cancel people I'm
just trying to make you aware
for yourself and no one else that listen
these kind of um formulas
are out there but it takes a habitual
process to get to a point where you can
actually use that formula let let me put
it like that
um will it just randomly happen kya aap yeh abc karogay and you will feel better
I don't think so realistically but I do
think that if you make a habit of it
classical conditioning like I was
talking about earlier
then yeah there is a chance that those
very things that someone is telling you
about
can make you feel better one of the
things that I'm actively trying to do
for myself and this is not a habit
at all so this is something I'm really
trying to do
for myself is I'm trying to get more
into listening
to podcasts um I've had a few people
tell me that it might be interesting for
me to have a podcast
and I don't know because it's like one
more thing to maintain
maybe I could take self-care Sunday as a
series and make that the podcast that
idea has crossed my mind
but I feel like I first want to get
familiar with the world of podcasts in
general
and as someone who spends a fair amount
of time consuming content
um I feel like this is like a really
great place
for me to start and start becoming an
audience off
if you are someone who's into podcasts
please tell me what your favorite
podcasts are in below in the comments
because I'm looking for nice positive
uplifting content
to listen to um there's a lot of time I
spend around the house ghar ka kaam karte huye ya kabhi makeup karte huye
uh ya just instagram real content karte huye
where audio doesn't matter
so I would love to consume good content
um that's business savvy or
life savvy positivity savvy that I don't
mind consuming
and I feel like that might be really
interesting for me so please give me
suggestions
down below in the comments if you are
someone who's actively listening to
podcasts and maybe also tell me where
you're listening to them because
currently the few podcasts that I've
been listening to and coming across
have all been on the podcast app on my
iphone
or on my ipad so just kind of
help a girl out and give me some ideas
because I want some ideas on who I can
listen to for sure
I want to make a confession and say
something to you
guys just I feel like this is something
that I always think that I will share
with you
and I don't know if I've shared it with
you before but I feel like I should
every time I'm filming one of my
self-care Sunday videos
I always have to kind of be so careful
about the way I'm
putting my words across because I can
sometimes just say things without
thinking twice I'm very emotional
and I um I tend to be someone who just
speaks my mind off
very candidly and it can be something
that's really good or really bad also
I just feel like I want to be able to
tell you guys
things like you're my friends and it's
something that I get really emotional
about simply because
you mean so much to me and when I see
like certain things on the internet I
feel like oh my god I hope my followers
aren't believing that
if they do this their life will change
overnight a lot of things that are out
there on the internet
um will make you feel really bad about
your lives because everyone wants to
highlight
their lives and the good things about
their life so much more but I promise
you not everything you see
out there is real today I'm sitting here
I'm talking to you candidly
I share a lot of my life with you you
know I do but I also have to come out
and tell you that
I don't share certain things about my
life that I know
I'm struggling with internally there are
certain things about my personal life
that I don't share with you guys that
are struggles for me on a day-to-day
basis
that I have a close friend who's going
through a lot in his life
and um is dealing with a health issue
and I haven't talked about it but like
just
small small things like I have another
friend who's going through a really bad
marriage
and she's really struggling and it's
just these small small things that I
know
are emotionally really heavy on me for
example
so I don't want you guys to look at
things on the internet and feel like oh
my god
they have it so easy because they don't
everyone
every single person out there has a
journey of their own have struggles of
their own
so never be envious of someone else's
life especially basis what you see on
social media
because there is a part of it that you
are not there is a part of their
struggle or there's a part of their
journey that you are not
within the purview of and it's
only fair for them to keep certain
things within their privacy and for them
to put on a happy face forward
you know one of the things that I get
asked very very often and
not just from followers also from
friends you know there are days where my
friends know I'm having a really shitty
day
and then they see me all happen happy
and shiny on instagram stories and
they're like
oh you seem better now like they'll
reply to my instagram stories saying
and I'm like no it's not that I'm happy
now
it's just that you don't take your
baggage to work right like if you've had
a bad day at home
and you go to office you're not sitting
in front of your boss or your colleagues
and putting up a really sad sour face
you try to do your best
so this is me I could be having a really
shitty day
but I'm not going to come and throw my
baggage at you because a if I throw my
baggage at you
then I'm the person who's like making a
public display to be like a drama queen
and if I if I mean and b
the other thing if I don't is that oh my
god she's so fake
but the thing is my simple
perspective on this is that a not
everyone needs to share everything about
their lives on the internet
there is that small percentage of things
that we live and
very personally guard that we leave
offline um
and second is just because I'm in a bad
mood doesn't mean I should come on here
and spoil your mood you're here to get
entertained by my videos you're here to
learn something from my videos
you're here because you like me or love
me as a support as a
follower and want to support me but that
doesn't mean I need to throw
my bad moments on you so I do think that
there can be a flip side to everything
and which is why I'm kind of just
putting it out there and reinforcing
that
everything when you see that you see on
the internet is not 100%
accurate so this fake positivity in
general for me as
um what I see it as is someone who's
just like let's say for example fake
positivity for me is
taking a picture with my husband and
putting it up and
god forbid like we're actually going
through something really serious and not
just
fight um and a couple let's say is
talking about divorce but making it look
like everything's okay
that's like just being 100% fake right
I feel like we need to be able to find a
balance between
not jagging our baggage on the internet
but also like
not making people feel bad about their
lives keeping it realistic
don't overly edit your photos don't
overly edit your lives
um put your best foot forward but don't
put on a foot that isn't yours
to put it in a nutshell okay to conclude
this video I should show you what this
final look looks like I'm really happy
with how it turned out
I want to conclude this video with
saying that it's okay for all of us to
have bad days
it's okay for us to want to be positive
but the attempt and the process might
take a little longer than expected that
is also okay
um it's perfectly okay for people to put
out messaging on positivity so long as
you know that that is a process
it's not nothing will just instantly
make you feel better unless you put your
body into the zone which
i have lipstick on my teeth guys
ah is that better now okay this lipstick
takes oh my god
red lipstick this is the downside to
wearing a lipstick that dries down so
beautifully matte but takes a couple of
minutes to do that
um what I was saying was it's okay for
people to put out that messaging as long
as you know and circling back to the
idea of classical conditioning
well it may take a little bit of time
for you to
be able to feel that instant positivity
so technically it's not like an instant
one
it's like one of those things where you
might think oh Aanam takes only like 45
minutes or one hour to film this video
but it's taken me
so many years to perfect myself down
where I don't need to take double takes
and sometimes I still take double takes
not gonna lie
but like one of those things right where
it's taken me that much time of practice
to now get it in one go
like cooking food or like riding a bike
or learning how to swim
positivity is also an exercise it takes
time for you to be able to lift yourself
up by doing something
so there is good positivity out there
there is fake positivity out there I
just kind of wanted to come on here
and in today's video show you guys that
both exist
and just kind of if you're feeling low
it's okay to feel
you know what I mean go ahead and leave
me a comment down below because one of
the other topics
I have had on my mind for a while is
talking about
pain and talking about letting go and
talking about
just the not so happier aspects of life
if you think you'd actually want my take
on that
let me know down below in the comments
which reminds me today's where fam
comment shout out goes to Nidhi Nair
she's
left me one of the sweetest comments
ever you guys I'm
always reading liking hearting replying
to all of your comments
so please keep those conversations going
I always try to my best my best best
best to make a point to reply to as
many of you as possible and I think I
reply to all of you over a period of
time for sure
um so thank you so much for being such a
supportive supportive rare fan
please hit that like button that helps
my channel get more discoverability
and hopefully more views click that bell
button
get those alerts I put up a lot of
videos here on youtube and I would love
for you to get notified for everything
that I have in store for you still
looking down
trying to make sure there's no red
lipstick going onto my teeth
remember that all of the product
information will be mentioned down below
in the info box so you can give that a
read
I'm gonna go throw on some accessories
and take some pictures because I have
the glam on
and I'm actually about to film a video next which is responding to my
hate comments so make sure you guys
stick around for that one
are subscribers so you get the alerts
hopefully you will enjoy all of the
content that's coming up really soon I
love you all
so much I hope that you enjoyed today's
video and found it helpful
bye guys
