 
# Essential Company

### #8 of Company Men

## Crystal Perkins

### Table of Contents

About Essential Company

Books by Crystal Perkins

Praise for Books by Crystal Perkins

Things to Know

Chapter 1

Prologue

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Coming Soon

Acknowledgments

About the Author
Copyright © 2018 by Crystal Perkins

Cover Model: Andrew Biernat

Photo by Wander Aguiar

Cover Design by Helen Williams

www.allbookedout.com

All trademarks are owned by their respective companies and are denoted by the use of proper capitalization of the company and/or brand. All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book. This contemporary erotic romance is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners. This ebook is licensed for your personal use only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with, especially if you enjoy sexy, emotional, romance novels with alpha males. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

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# About Essential Company

**F ather. Genius. Liar. Boss.**

* * *

Xavier James love nothing and no one more than his son. The woman who left him can't have a place in his heart again, since she's going to leave him again—just like everyone else. The only way to protect himself is to ignore both his heart and his brain, because both are telling her to love her the way she deserves to be loved.

**Friend. Assistant. Loyal. Mother.**

* * *

Seriyah knows she shouldn't have come back to X. Yet she did, and now she has to live with her choice—literally. He comes to her bed every night and lets his son call her "Mommy" but he's not hers. He'll never be hers, no matter how much she wants him to be.

* * *

**S ecrets. Heartbreak. Love. Everything.**

* * *

When Seri's forced to repay a debt she owes, X realizes what he's almost lost and vows to fight for her love. Too bad he's not ready to divulge his secrets or give her the only thing she asks him for. She thinks he doesn't want or need her, but having her in his life is as essential as breathing. Now, he's just going to have to prove it to her.

# Books by Crystal Perkins

**The Griffin Brothers series**

Gaming For Love (The Griffin Brothers #1)

Building Our Love (The Griffin Brothers #2)

Creating A Love (The Griffin Brothers #3)

Learning To Love (The Griffin Brothers #4)

Designing The Love (The Griffin Brothers #5)

Working On Love (The Griffin Brothers #6)

Keeping Their Love (The Griffin Brothers #7)

**Corrigan & Co. series**

Fielding Her SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #1)

Devouring the SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #2)

Rocking a SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #3)

Lessons in SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #4)

Uncovering His SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #5)

Training the SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #6)

Inheriting a SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #7)

Tending Their SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #8)

Playing in SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #9)

Loving My SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #10)

Society Weddings (a Corrigan & Co. novella)

Never a Secret (a C&C and Society Girls novella)

**Society Girls series**

Society Girls: Sierra (Society Girls, #1)

Society Girls: Neveah (Society Girls, #2)

Society Girls: Matisse (Society Girls, #3)

Society Girls: Waverly (Society Girls, #4)

Society Girls: Rhieve (Society Girls, #5)

Society Girls: Jenysis (Society Girls, #6)

Society Girls: Harlow (Society Girls, #7)

Society Girls: Camari (Society Girls, #8)

Society Girls: Kalila (Society Girls, #9)

Society Girls: Rose (Society Girls, #10)

**Company Men series**

Royal Company (Company Men, #1)

Unexpected Company (Company Men, #2)

Savage Company (Company Men, #3)

Brash Company (Company Men, #4)

Defiant Company (Company Men, #5)

Vital Company (Company Men, #6)

Trusted Company (Company Men, #7)

**Other books**

A Kiss is Just a Kiss

Activate

Never Fear-Phobias Horror Anthology

Never Fear-Christmas Terrors Anthology

Romantic Times Anthology, Vol. 3

(Gary and Maggie Griffin short story)

Never Fear-The Tarot Anthology

Never Fear-The Apocalypse Anthology

# Praise for Books by Crystal Perkins

"People should be free to love whoever their heart leads them, too. And this author did a great job of presenting a passionate love between 2 people who are seen as different from each other as dictated by society, but this difference wasn't a part of the love they share. Ms. Perkins did an admirable job of dealing with the issue (and other issues) as a non issue, if that makes sense." -DianeM, Amazon Reviewer, _Creating A Love_

* * *

"I love this series!!!!!! Crystal has the amazing ability to bring her characters to life. I laugh with them, I hurt with them, I smile with them, and I cry with them." -Jessica, Amazon reviewer, _The Griffin Brothers series_

* * *

"I love how Crystal makes the characters feel like real people." -Tami, Amazon Reviewer, _Learning To Love_

* * *

"This is a lovely romance story that has a sexy sizzle to it but it's funny as well as it is somewhat edgy. I like that the hero has money but it's not the focal point in this story. I love that the heroine has problems but they are not so insurmountable that they take over the story. This is good old-fashioned romance done with a modern day twist. Well Done." -Kindle Customer, Amazon Reviewer, _Gaming For Love_

* * *

"I found this book on Amazon yesterday and loved the cover. I read the synopsis and knew I had to get it. So I purchased it and started to read it right away. Oh my, I could not put the book down. I got so wrapped up in the story I was afraid to put my Kindle down or I would miss a part." -Amazon Customer, _Gaming For Love_

* * *

"I thought this was a fantastic start to a series, and kind of first book of a series that makes you want to rush out and buy each additional book in the series. The premise of a strong group of women working together to help other women in need was pretty awesome. I loved how C0rrigan & Co was a secret covert company along the same lines as the underground railroad but it saved women from sticky situations or abusive relationships." -Aubrey, Romancing the Book blog, _Fielding Her SECRET_

* * *

"I had so many different emotions while reading. I was rooting people, wanting kick people, wanting to rip some peoples clothes off, laughing while reading, gasping out loud. Seriously, I read this like a crazy person. So much happened that I was not mentally prepared for. There were so many shockers while reading this I could not even think about putting the book down." -Sabrina, Amazon Reviewer, _Devouring the SECRET_

* * *

"Love this book the suspense and sex is EPIC." -Teresa Jensen, Amazon Reviewer, _Rocking a SECRET_

* * *

_"_ Perkins breathes life into their characters and has the reader feeling their agony, pain, and even their love for one-another. I enjoy reading her books and learning more and more about each of the people that make up this secretive group." -Dayreader Reviews, _Corrigan & Co. series_

* * *

"In the end I am somehow proud of you Crystal Perkins. How you portrayed Ellie and her and Aiden love. I know I have no right to be, and it's really not my place to say but I am proud I read it and I recommend it to all women so they can see how strong We can be." -Marta Bukowska, Goodreads Reviewer, _Tending Their SECRET_

* * *

"The story flowed well and kept my attention throughout. There was one part I was totally not expecting to happen. I love when that happens." -Lisa Dess, Girls With Books blog, _Training Her SECRET_

* * *

"Wow this story! There are some stories and characters that leave you speechless, breathless and at times slightly broken, and Loving my SECRET Matt & Reina's story is definitely one of them!" -Vicki Plant, Goodreads Reviewer, _Loving My SECRET_

"I laughed I cried and there many times that I wanted to throw my device." -Mallory, Goodreads Reviewer, _Loving My SECRET_

"Perkins gives the reader a quick peak into the Weddings of the amazing ladies in the society. What a fun roller coaster ride it was." -Taz Lozada, Goodreads Reviewer, _Society Weddings_

"Totally loved this book as I did with all of crystals book previous to this with their well written gripping story lines brilliant characters a must read really can't wait for the next in series." – Sassylady33, Amazon Reviewer, _Society Girls: Sierra_

"It is banter central, lol and completely full with characters who you actually get to know and enjoy spending time with." – All Booked Out, _A Kiss is Just a Kiss_

"Good book and a really powerful message." Petrina, Goodreads Reviewer, _Society Girls: Jenysis_

"If you're looking for a great book, this is the one." Renee, Goodreads Reviewer, _Society Girls: Kalila_

"I love these books!!!! I seem to read them in one sitting I just can't put them down!!!" Rita, Amazon Reviewer

"This is the new series by a brilliant author and still incorporates the characters from her previous series. This book was brilliant, the author always writes about strong characters with a vulnerable side and she delivered once again. This book was one of her more lighthearted ones, but still had the angst I have come to associate with Crystal Perkins." Natasha, Amazon Reviewer, _Royal Company_

# Things to Know

If you haven't read any of the Corrigan & Co. books, you can still read this book. I'm listing some info below that will be helpful to you!

The Society: A secret group of female spies, operating out of the Corrigan & Co. Foundation. It was created by Jane Corrigan, Maggie Griffin, Helen Wilson, Mallory Daniels, and Cyndi Evans. They still make their presence known from time to time, but the Society is now run by Reina Corrigan. She is the wife of Jane's grandson, Matt Corrigan, and someone not to be trifled with. Their story, _Loving My SECRET_ , is the only book I don't recommend reading without having read the others.

The male characters in Company Men are all brothers, or friends, of the spies. Most of the women in the books will not know of their existence, since those who work for Corrigan & Co. have no idea what the beautiful women of the Foundation really do. Some are in awe of them, and some resent how they seem to come and go, and do whatever they want.

Corrigan & Co.: Matthew Corrigan runs this public side of the company. One of the most powerful men in the world, he's ruthless in business, and would do anything to protect his wife, and their friends. His brother, Miles, works alongside him, running the Acquisitions department, and doing what he can to help the Society women. His wife, Alex, runs the front desk at the Foundation. Their love story was in the book, _Working on Love_ , which is always free in ebook format, on all platforms, as it connects my first two series, and also gives more insight into Matt and Reina's story.

The Studkateers are what the men connected to the Society (including the Griffin brothers) call themselves. They have a strong friendship with each other, they're hot, and I love The Three Musketeers, so why not?

You can read about X and Seri in Society Girls: Harlow, Society Girls: Camari, and Defiant Company.

X was in hiding when his cousin Harlow joined the Society. He'd fallen in love (or lust) with the wrong girl and she'd used him to create tech for her crime family. They had a little boy and X escaped with him, using his computer skills to keep them protected. When Harlow's life was threatened by those looking for him, she gave Reina the way to find him. Scott Griffin wanted to work with him, but Matt and Reina won that battle.

Seri used to work with Camari's boyfriend Lennon as a 911 operator. She left to work for C&C. When she met X, she didn't worship at his feet like most women and he insisted she be his assistant or he was leaving the company. She agreed and soon became his lover. When he brought another woman into his house, Seri fled and used contacts she'd made to hide from him. She came back and questions that choice every day.
**_F or everyone who's been waiting for these two! Thanks for being patient!_**

# Chapter 1

X

"Hi," Seri says, looking shy.

Her beautiful hair is pulled back, so I can see her almond-shaped brown eyes clearly. The medicine Kenny's giving her is making her bruises fade before my eyes, but I can almost feel her pain like it's a physical thing—and I know it's not just physically painful for her.

"Hey."

"I don't know how much you know, but I'm sorry."

I move without thinking, sitting on the edge of her bed and taking her hand in mine. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I wish you'd come to me for help, but I know I pushed you to do what you originally did. I'm the one who's sorry for being too scared to love you the way you deserve to be loved."

"Do you? Do you really love me? I want to believe you do, but it's so hard."

"Because I've said the words, but my actions have said something else. I know. And yes, I love you so much my soul aches when we're apart. You own all of me, Seri, and I've done a shit job of showing you that. Making love to you is amazing, but I've used it as a way to distance myself from you."

"Yes."

"These are still just words to you and I know I need to show you I mean them. I also need you to know I didn't just come to this decision tonight, when I thought I'd lost you. I made changes when I got your note telling me you'd be back."

"What changes?"

"I cancelled all my dates—well, almost all. I still have a date to the Masquerade, but every other night I'm yours. Mornings and afternoons too."

Her lips tremble and I think she's going to cry. I don't get it because she should be happy right now. I'm going to give her everything she wants and needs.

"Dates, but no commitment. Just like we've been doing, but with more than sex. That's what you're offering."

"What? No. I'm all in, Seri. You and me. All the fuck in."

"Okay."

She says the word, but I can tell she doesn't mean it. I don't know what's wrong, but I know she's not okay. My mission in life is to make her better than okay, and apparently, I'm not doing that right now. What does she need? As I search her eyes and face for an answer, an idea of where to start comes to me.

"I'll be right back."

When I walk back out into the waiting room, Reina starts to stand. I shake my head, going to Kenny and pulling aside.

"What is it, X?"

I tell him my plan and he smiles. Once I've gotten the info I need from him, I ruffle Micah's hair and head back into Seri's room.

She gives me a curious look when I walk into her spa-like attached bath, but I don't give anything away. Inside the bathroom, I find everything where he said it would be and get it set up the way I want.

"What are you doing?" she asks, when I carefully remove the cords connecting her medical unit to the wall.

I helped design the tech for the device that's healing her as well as sending the medical staff her vitals, so I know the internal battery will last for five hours without being plugged in. I won't need that long, but I'm happy to know I won't have to rush.

Picking her up into my arms, I kiss her temple before answering. "Taking care of you."

"Oh," she says, when I walk into the bathroom and she sees the rain shower with the molded plastic bed sitting under it.

The shower is completely open with more shower heads than I knew were possible and the bed isn't so bad either. It's hard plastic, with custom towels that surround the slots which allow the water to flow out instead of pooling. It's not as comfortable as Seri's bed back home—or the one in her hospital room, but it will allow me to get the job done.

"You are so fucking beautiful, I can barely believe you let me touch you some days."

"I'm a mess right now, and you have supermodels on your arm most nights, so stop."

I hold her face in my hands. "No one is more beautiful to me than you. Now or ever. Your soul and mine are matched and my heart calls to yours. That's beauty enough, even if you weren't gorgeous on the outside."

"Xav," she tells me, her eyes filling with unshed tears.

"I've got you, Seri. Let me have you."

"You know I'm yours."

"And I'm going to prove to you that I'm yours as well."

Seri

I want to believe him. My soul and my heart are railing at my brain to believe him. But, I can't. I'll give him everything he wants, except for my heart. I can't release my heart to him again. Not when I know he isn't as all in as he says he is. My body—well, that's always been his and I'm giving him my trust to keep that part of me safe.

He removes my sports bra and thong, which are all I woke up in. Neither are sexy, but I wasn't expecting anything more than getting my ass kicked tonight. That happened for sure, but now this is happening. I still don't know what this is. I'm used to being fucked by this man and that's definitely not what's happening right now.

He sits me on the bed-like thing and kneels down next to me, still fully dressed, as the water showers down on us. When his fingers move to my hair and I feel him softly undoing my braid, I almost moan out loud. He's caring for me right now, and all of me is responding.

As X frees each strand and uses his hands to caress my scalp, my nipples pebble and I have to squeeze my thighs tight against the pressure building there. I'm so wet already, just from his taking care of my braid, but this isn't about sex and I'm not going to ask him to make me come when it's obvious he's got something to prove.

I feel the shampoo as he works it into my hair, and the smell of it is absolutely heavenly. I knew the Foundation had money to burn, but this bathroom seems like an extravagance they don't need. I'm not going to worry about that now, while I'm feeling a sensory overload of smell, sound, and touch. I'd love to taste right now, but I can be patient—or so I try and tell myself.

"I love seeing your hair curly like this, but I know I need to wash this dirt out. It's really a hard choice to have to make."

"I could curl it for you one day," the words are out before I can stop them.

"I'd just mess your hair up if you did that, because I'd had to twist the curls around my fist and fuck you the way you love," he tells me, then freezes. "Shit, I'm trying to be a gentleman here and I still talk about sex."

"I'd be insulted if I was lying here naked and you weren't talking about sex."

I feel his face hovering over mine, even as there's a new source of water on my head, rinsing the shampoo from my hair as his hands continue running through it.

"You need me, Seri."

"Yes."

I've never been ashamed of my sexuality or my need for sex, and I'm not about to start now. He doesn't answer me, but his hands are back in my hair shampooing and rinsing once again. I'm about to go mad when I feel his hands on my neck, coated in soap—or shower gel. It could be either and I honestly could care less.

Especially when his hands move lower, touching my shoulders and clavicle like they're works of art. When he gets to my breasts, I arch my back into his touch.

"I love these so much. The size, the weight, the brown nipples that darken when I play with them," he tells me, pinching my nipples as I cry out. "Always so responsive to me."

"Yes."

I nearly whimper when his hands move away, rubbing over my ribs before moving back up my arms. He ignores the strange and small device attached to one of my biceps, making me think he knows all about it.

"You designed whatever that is."

"I helped, yes. It's healing you right now, which makes me proud."

"How?"

"Later. Let me take care of you right now. Reina will explain things to you later, and I'll fill in anything you think she missed."

I don't argue, because his hands are on my waist now, his index finger running circles around my belly button. It shouldn't be erotic, but it is. When he runs his hands reverently over my hips, I know I'm a goner.

"Would it scare you if I told you I want my baby inside of you one day?"

"No."

"Good, because Micah wants a baby brother or sister and I like to grant all of his wishes."

I grasp his hand as it slips lower, stopping him with his fingers in the hair over my mound. "Is that the only reason you want a baby with me, for Micah?"

He spins around my body to face me. "I want it for me too. I want to have something that's ours in more than name and feelings only. I can wait as long as you want—and if you don't want it at all, I could deal with that too. I'm going to be honest with you from now on, and that means telling you what I need and want while giving you all of your needs and wants."

"I want to have your baby one day. I don't know when, but one day."

"Thank you," he growls, and I release his hand.

He runs his fingers through my trimmed hair and I throw my head back. He knows just how to circle and pinch my clit. It only takes a few well placed touches to have my writhing on the bed.

"More."

"You need my fingers in you."

It's not a question, because he knows the answer already. He slides two fingers into my pussy as his mouth finally lands on mine. His kisses are soft and sweet, even as his hands are working me hard and rough. It's a mix of his skill and his sweetness that sends me flying over the edge. I whisper his name instead of screaming it, nearly sobbing when he pulls me into his arms and tells me again how beautiful I am.

He's given me almost everything I needed today. Almost. And unfortunately for both of us, I'm just not sure I can get past the last obstacle he doesn't even seem to realize we have.

# Prologue

X

I thought I'd die when Seri left me the first time. But, I had to live for my son. When she came back, I never thought I'd have to fight to breathe once again, only now it's worse. Now, it's her life as well as mine I'm fighting for. She can't die. Not before I've proven my love for her and given her everything she deserves from me and more. I swear I'll do it. She can have anything and everything if she lives. Please God, don't let her die.

# Chapter 2

Seriyah

Why did I come back here? Why? I knew he wouldn't be different. I knew everything he said to me was a lie, but here I am. I'm a smart woman, so why did I do this to myself again?

It's all I can think about as I stand outside the room in his compound where the Studkateers are meeting tonight. He doesn't even have a woman connected to them, but of course, he's still a member. Of course. No one says no to Xavier James, not even me.

"You guys have to help me pick one of these women to be my date for the holiday party."

"The Valentine's Masquerade is not merely a 'holiday party' X," Matt Corrigan tells him.

"I know it's the company party, and it's better than everyone else's company party. Yada, yada, yada."

"It's also hella romantic," Owen reminds him.

"You need to take someone you want to be romantic with," his brother Luke adds.

Theo chimes in. "Someone like Seri."

"I'm not taking Seri," X scoffs.

"Why the fuck not? You were a wreck when she was gone, and I thought you were finally going to nut up." Oh, my sweet friend Lennon, you have no idea how X thinks.

"I can't take her. Why would I take her?"

And yep, there goes my heart. Breaking into a million pieces again over a man who once tried to say he loved me in order to keep me from leaving. I told him I didn't believe him, and this is why. I know it's not true. I'm a convenient body to fuck, and while I know he's not fucking anyone else, that's all it is. I'm good enough to put his dick in, but never good enough to be on his arm.

Sometimes it makes me wish I'd stayed gone when I left. Then I think about the help I had to seek to stay hidden from him—and the debt I still owe for that. More importantly, I think of his son Micah and how much I love that little boy. And X. God help me, but I can't stop loving him.

"Why wouldn't you?" Matt asks him.

I walk away before I hear the answer. I honestly can't take much more of this. Yes, I chose to come back to work for him. And yes, I thought we'd have something once I knew how upset he was that I was gone. But, that isn't even close to happening.

If anything, he's dating even more now that I've returned. He should seriously consider opening a flower shop with all the money I spend on flowers for his women. Women who all live in the same apartments. It's insulting, but I've been putting up with it because I know he doesn't sleep with anyone else but me. Putting up with it and making myself refrain from driving over to said apartments so I can check them all out.

Peeking into Micah's room, I know it's all worth it. I'll be humiliated every day for the rest of my life if it means this little boy will be happy. X's boy, who asked me tonight if he could call me "mommy." My heart cracked with a different emotion than I'm feeling now, but I told him we'd have to wait and ask his daddy. Good luck with that—fuck buddies don't get that honor.

Once I know he's sleeping, I make my way back to my room. Yes, I've moved in here. It's easier since I watch Micah almost every night. I don't sleep in X's bed, because no one but he and Micah do that. No woman is good enough for the bed his son might crawl into. Funny thing is, Micah comes to me for comfort some nights too. If we were in the same bed, he wouldn't have to choose. I won't beg for the "privilege" though, because I know what the answer would be.

The knock at my door comes after I've changed into my pajamas and settled into the comfy chair in the corner with my Kindle. X never knocks when he comes to my door for sex, and Micah's knock is much softer, so I have no clue who it is. I'm even more surprised when I open it.

"Joel? Hi," I say, wondering why the Brazilian baseball player has sought me out.

"I wanted to talk to you. This may not be the best place, but I promise I mean nothing inappropriate."

He doesn't need to tell me that, since I know he's madly in love with Sierra, but I appreciate it all the same. Stepping back, I motion him inside, closing the door after him.

"What's up?"

"I saw you at the door earlier."

Oh. Well, that definitely explains this visit. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard my name."

"I understand. I do not understand X, however."

"You should probably stop trying. I'm with him every single day and I still have no clue what he's thinking most of the time."

"He is making a mistake."

"The great Xavier James doesn't make mistakes."

"All men make mistakes when it comes to love."

"There's no love here, Joel."

He narrows his eyes at me. "You don't love him?"

"You know I do. Everyone knows I do," I remind him, rolling my eyes. "But, it's one-sided."

"It isn't."

"The women he parades in front of me tell a different story."

"He doesn't know how to deal with his love for you."

"I really appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I just don't believe that."

He nods. "You need him to prove it."

"Yes."

I need it more than the next breath I take. I need it, but in my heart I truly believe I'll never have it.

"I hope he will."

"I used to hope for that too."

"Thank you for talking to me, Seri."

"Anytime. Tell Si I said hi."

"I will."

He opens my door to find X on the other side. "What the fuck?"

"I had something to discuss with Seri," Joel tells him in a calm voice, moving past him. He doesn't get far down the hall as X grabs his arm.

"In her bedroom?"

He looks ready to commit murder, but it's not his place. "You have no right to be upset, even if it was something else. Which we shouldn't have to tell you it wasn't."

"It is definitely my place."

"Tell that to your next date."

I slam the door in his face, knowing Joel will understand me shutting him out as well. X does not get to act upset. Not when he's giving me nothing.

Xavier

I want to punch something. Or break something. But, I've been there, done that, and it solved nothing. I _did_ nothing, and now it's come back to bite me in the ass.

I know nothing happened between Seri and Joel. I knew it when I saw him walking out of her room. Yet I acted like some fucking caveman beating his chest over his woman. Wrong move, because I haven't claimed Seri as mine. I _can't_ claim Seri as mine. Even if it's what I want more than my next breath.

When she didn't believe I loved her, a hole grew in my heart, and a wall rose up around it. Only Micah is in there with me now. I can't let her back in knowing how painful it is when she walks away. She _will_ walk away from me again. Everyone does.

The only people who've stayed are Harlow and my Gram. I can't blame my parents for dying, because they didn't know their last con would end up getting them killed, but the rest of my family? Yeah, I'll blame them.

We were poor. All of us were poor. But, they didn't have to try and get Gram to cast me out—or try to forbid Harlow to see me. Now that I'm rich they want to see me, but fuck that. Micah, Harlow, and Gram can have anything the fuck they want, but no one else.

Not my family, not the women who would suck my dick day and night for some diamonds, and not my ex if she was still around. I did what I did for her because I mistook lust for love, and it almost cost me my cousin. It's why I can never love someone. If lust was enough to bring me down, what would love do? I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to find out.

"We still on for game night tomorrow?" Scott asks, giving me a one-armed bro hug.

"You know it. Ains and Darce are going down."

"I sure hope so. Being 0 and 5 sucks ass. We're better than this, man."

"I was just off my game the last few weeks. I'm back and my mind is all yours."

"If only."

"Don't act like I'm not consulting with you."

"Yeah, but you're working full-time for Matt."

"Reina."

"Yeah, we all work for Reina. I mean, how do you say no to helping her save the world?"

"You don't."

"Exactly."

We chat for a few more minutes as the other guys make their way out, and then it's just me. Me and my thoughts about this damn Valentine's Masquerade. The one I desperately want to take Seri to. If I could just trust her enough to stay, I would.

# Chapter 3

Seri

The first time I see him is when I'm at Trader Joe's, picking up some extras for dinner. I normally cook everything for Micah and me—and yes, X—myself, but it's a busy week at work. I'm grabbing some frozen and mac and cheese when I feel someone's eyes on me. The man doesn't bother trying to hide his presence, and I know it's a warning.

A warning he's been delivering for the last two weeks. I should've contacted him. I needed to contact him. But I didn't and now he's here when I'm not alone.

X's birthday is coming up and Micah asked me to take him shopping for a present at Downtown Summerlin. We have guards, but they're discreet. No pictures of Micah are out in the world, yet X doesn't take any chances with his son. I don't blame him. I'm thankful no one can harm us while we're here. Not physically, at least.

"Hello, Seriyah," the man says, approaching us.

"Not here."

"What a cute little boy. He doesn't look like you."

"He's a friend."

"I'm Micah."

"Nice to meet you, Micah. It would be a shame if something happened to you."

Oh Hell, no. "Nothing is going to happen to him."

"Call me, Seri. Tonight."

"Just leave."

He steps into my personal space. "I will destroy you and everyone you love if you don't call me tonight."

"Is there a problem here, Ma'am?" Butch asks, coming to stand near us. Anyone else would think he's just a concerned shopper, but I know better. He could take the asshole down in seconds.

"No problem," I say, grabbing Micah's hand and walking past the devil who's come for his pay. "Thank you for asking."

"Who was that, Seri?" Micah asks when we're inside the next store.

"A bad man."

"Daddy will beat him up if he hurts you."

His daddy would never speak to me again if he knew the bargain I'd made. It was the only way I could truly hide from X when I had to and now I have to pay the piper—or as it were, the pimp.

"You don't need to worry about him. I would beat him up if he touched you, Micah. Him or anyone else."

"I know. You're my mommy in my heart. I'm in your heart too."

Oh dear God, this boy. "Always."

"Is Daddy in your heart?"

I close my eyes when I answer because I am not about to cry in the middle of a men's clothing store. "Yes. He is."

We don't talk about bad men or love after that. It's the good thing about little kids—they move on better than we do. He finds some funny t-shirts for X in a nerdy store we go to, and we get a table at CPK for lunch.

"You didn't get Daddy anything."

"Not yet."

What do you get the man who has everything and doesn't love you the way you love him?

"You could make him a picture. He says he loves my pictures more than anything."

"I'm not much of an artist, but your pictures _are_ the best."

"Thanks. We can look for more presents after lunch. Maybe you'll find something."

"What is Seri finding?" X asks, appearing next to our booth before sliding in next to Micah.

"A present for you. You can't look in my bag!"

"I won't look. Seri doesn't need to buy me a present," he says, looking at me while talking to Micah. I look away because what I see there is a lie. He doesn't care about me.

"I know. I told her to make you a picture."

"That would be perfect."

"Told you."

"Yes well, I should get going since your dad's here. We can finish our shopping tomorrow."

"Don't go, Seri! We can all eat! Please!"

This kid is killing me. Staying here with X is killing me. Knowing what I have to face is killing me. Basically, my life is just killing me.

"Stay," X says, placing his hand over mine.

I slump back in my chair because the two of them asking is too much for me to deny. X didn't beg, because he never would, but he asked and right this moment, it has to be enough.

X

"How much do I owe you for what Micah bought?" I ask Seri as I find her in the kitchen before my date tonight.

She looks me over then looks away. "Nothing. You're not paying for your own presents."

"You shouldn't be paying either."

"I pay every day I stay here with you, so money doesn't matter."

"Seri."

"Just go to your date, X."

"I won't be out late."

"Not my concern."

"Can I come to you tonight?"

I never ask. Never. She knows she can tell me no, but I know she won't. But tonight, it feels like I need to ask.

"Please don't."

"Seri," I say again, my throat clogged by the emotion I know I shouldn't be showing.

"I want to be here for Micah, but I'm tired of being just a sex toy for you."

Jesus. I've fucked this up more than I thought I had. I can't give her my heart and soul, but I didn't realize I was making her feel like what we do was something insignificant to me. That _she_ was insignificant to me.

"You're more than that."

"Really? Because we've already talked about your date tonight. If I was more than just a pussy you could fuck at will, you'd be taking me out. I came back because I wanted to believe you when you claimed to love me, when you were going to give up everything because you loved me. But, you don't love me. You can't."

Her eyes are challenging me, and I want to answer the way we both crave for me to, but I can't. She's right about that—I can't. I cannot open my heart only to have it stomped on again.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure."

I walk out the door because if I stay I might give in to what I feel. I might tell her I want to believe too. I want it more than anything, but I know better to hope I can have it.

My date goes like all the rest. Pictures are taken, I eat a steak at the restaurant we visit, and I fend off wandering hands at the show I take her to. After, she gets a chaste kiss on the cheek and no promises. She pouts a little more than some, but she got that selfie of me kissing her cheek, so what more could she want?

"What was her name?" Butch asks when I get back to the compound.

He's more than a bodyguard, just as are most of the guys here are. They've been with me for years and I trust them with every part of my life.

I answer, even though I'm sure he already knows what I'm going to say. "Not a fucking clue."

"Seri left a little while ago."

My head whips back to him. "What?"

"She took off and I don't think she's coming back."

"She'll be back."

"You didn't see her. She was freaking out and shaking a little. She also left a note."

I push him against the wall, pinning him there with my arm. "You let her leave like that?"

"Don't pretend to care. If we didn't all know and love her, we'd think she was in a mutual fuck buddy situation with you."

"She's here of her own free will."

"Because she loves you and Micah. He loves her back, you know."

"I know my son."

"Do you know the example you're showing him, treating a person he loves like shit? Treating all women like shit?"

"I set the expectation for them the moment they get into my car."

"What expectation did you set for Seri when she came back?"

"None."

It's the truth. I was a mess when she was gone, but as soon as she came back I put up the stone walls inside of me and promised her nothing but my body. She knows I give it to no one else, and that has to be enough for her. My heart and soul are beyond the reach of anyone but my son now. I may have caused her to run by my actions and words, but she chose to not only stay gone, but to completely go off the grid and hide from me, and I just can't forget that.

"For Micah's sake, I hope she comes back tonight."

"She will."

For Micah, I believe she will.

# Chapter 4

Seri

"Fuck or fight," he says when he answers the phone.

There's another option that means I won't have to sleep with anyone he deems necessary over the next week? Yes, please.

"If you're really giving me a choice, I'm going to choose to fight."

I can almost hear the smile in his voice. "I had a feeling that would be your answer. I'll expect you within the hour."

"The hour? I can't—," I start to tell him, but he's already hung up.

Shit. I know why's he doing this and yet I'm powerless to stop it. My choices led me to this. Choices I felt were my only choice for survival after X brought another woman into this house, but choices no less.

I toss the burner phone on my bed and put my head in my hands. It's just for a week. I can survive anything for a week, right? If I keep telling myself that, there's a slight chance I'll actually believe it.

Standing, I grab a small suitcase from the back of my closet and contemplate what to fill it with. Workout gear, t-shirts, sports bras, and comfy shoes are what I settle on. I still have no idea what I'm walking into, so this is the best I can do.

Before I leave, I go into Micah's room to grab his tablet. I smile while leaving him a video message that I'll be gone for a week. He needs to know I'll be back, that I'm not leaving forever.

His father will also want to know it even if he doesn't need me. I'm his employee and I owe it to him to let him know I'll be back. He's going to be pissed and I wouldn't be surprised to come back to the office only to find my job gone and a woman on her knees for him in his office.

He's never even promised me the exclusivity he's given me when it comes to his body. I could ignore his needs for one night, but there's no way I expect him to be celibate for a week—not with the way he takes me every night like a human sex machine who can't survive on less than three orgasms a day. No, he'll be fucking someone new by tomorrow.

Choice. Such a powerful word, especially when it's taken from you. No. I mentally give myself a slap. Women have been dealing with much worse than I have for centuries, so I need to get over myself and get this done. I'll deal with whatever I come back to later.

X

I find the note from Seri on the kitchen counter. There are only two sentences on the paper when I unfold it, but I hold onto them like they're a lifeline.

_I'll be back in a week. This isn't like before._

Okay. I'm going to be okay. I'll work from home for the week. My office calls can be routed to the pool at the office and I'll check in twice a day. It will give me time with Micah I've missed the last few months while we were ramping up for a new launch. That finalized this past week, so the timing couldn't be better. I can do this for a week and then she'll be back.

She. Will. Be. Back. I close my eyes and repeat the words over and over again until my heart rate slows to normal. Things have to change. I've faced so many things and overcome them. Now, it's time for me to face my biggest fear and allow myself to love. If I do that and get my shit together, my love for Seri won't destroy me—it will make me whole.

"Daddy, did you know Seri was leaving?" Micah asks as he walks into the kitchen.

He has his tablet in one hand while he uses his other one to rub the sleep from his eyes. He usually sleeps through the night, and even though the thought is crazy, I think he might be awake because she's not here.

"No, but she left me a note. She'll be back in a week."

"I know. She left me a video on my tablet."

Is it wrong to be jealous of your own son? Yeah, it is but I can't help it. I wish I'd gotten a video, even if my behavior hasn't earned me one.

"She loves you."

"She loves you too, but you don't give her a ring. Do you give her anything?"

A job and a paycheck along with at least four orgasms a night—because a man should give more than he takes—but no, not the way he means.

"No, I don't," I answer honestly.

"You should buy her a ring and flowers but not perfume."

"Why shouldn't I buy her perfume?" I ask.

"I'm going to buy her that for Mother's Day. My friend Joey buys it for his mommy every year and I'm going to do it too."

Fuck. "Seri isn't your mommy."

"She is in my heart."

Double fuck. Mine too, little man, but it's not our choice to make. "You'd have to ask her if it's okay."

"I already did. She said it's up to you if I can call her that."

"She did?" I don't know why I'm surprised since I know how much these two love each other.

"Uh-huh. Please."

"You can call her mommy."

"Thank you!"

He jumps into my arms and I hold him tight. I've got to figure this out. Somehow, I have to figure out how to let myself love Seri again. If not just for me, for my son too. And her. I know she needs my love and I need to give it to her.

Seri

After meeting at the assigned place, he takes me to a warehouse on the Eastside. I hear the noise when we get out of the car.

"It's a busy night tonight. They're going to love having new blood."

"Tonight? You expect me to fight someone tonight?"

I thought I'd have some time to prepare and figure out his offer before this. Now that we're here it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to understand there's illegal fighting going on here. I don't know what I thought he was going to have me do—fight—but it wasn't this. This is more than even I can handle, even with some lessons from Nate Anderson in how to protect myself. I'm in trouble.

"I offered you that choice to fuck."

Yeah, that's not happening if I can help it. X and I may not be "together" but I still couldn't stomach being with another man. No, I'm going to have to fight.

"Tell me what I need to know about this place."

He puts his hand on my back and I work hard not to flinch as he leads me forward. "It's simple. You fight and if you win, you fight again tonight. If you lose, you patch yourself up and fight tomorrow."

"Patch myself up? You don't have doctors here?"

"What fun would that be?"

None for him. For me, I've just got to try to make it out of this week with no major damage. It's the best I can do right now since I have no other choice.

X

My plan to stay out of the office combusts the very next morning. I forgot I had a meeting with the best candidate to accompany me to the Masquerade. I won't bring her here, so I have to go there.

Walking in, the absence of Seri at her desk hits me like an arrow to the heart. I felt her absence at home, but this is where I need to see her. When she's not at her desk—even if she's just gone for lunch—I feel her absence. I can't explain it, but that's the way it is.

There's no missing the blond on one of the couches across from her desk. She's graced hundreds of magazine covers and men all over the world would love to be in my shoes right now. Frankly, they can have them.

"Hello, Francesca."

"X, nice to see you."

I just nod because it's not nice to see her. She's a nice woman, but she's not the woman I've decided to take a chance on once again. I know I should've cancelled this appointment. I don't want to be with anyone but Seri. I'll just let her down easy and get her out of here.

"Listen, I need to let you know I've had a change of plans. I can't take you to the party," I tell her once we're seated in my office.

"I need this, X. No one takes me seriously. My brain is completely ignored because I got some good genetics. Having you take me to a C&C company party will go a long way to change that."

"You don't really believe that."

She seriously has to be kidding. Yes, I'm a genius. There's no question of that. The IQ's of some of the women I've had on my arm could be questioned—not by me because I'm a little more evolved than that. Still, no one's going to change their perception of her just because she's on my arm.

"They will if you mention how it was my mind and not my tits you were attracted to."

I'm not attracted to her at all, but I get it. I get why she needs this validation. After all, validation is what I've seeked for most of my life. What she's asking for is so small in the grand scheme of things.

"Okay, but this is totally platonic. I'm in love with someone and if you even try to hint that we have something, I'll destroy you."

"Whoa. You really must love her if you're threatening me like that."

"Believe it."

She holds up her hands. "I do. I won't say anything other than I'm happy to have intelligent conversations with you."

"I'll send you over the info."

"Not your assistant?"

God, no. "Definitely not."

# Chapter 5

Seri

Two days. I've survived two days of fighting. Barely. Most of the other women here are in worse trouble than I am because they have nowhere to go when this week is up. They'll be staying here until they're taken out on a stretcher. I'm not exaggerating—two women have already died. I vow that I won't be one of them.

My ribs are bruised, my lips are cut, and my knuckles are split open, but I'm still alive. The bastard wasn't kidding about having to fix ourselves up, but at least he has bandages, ointments, and over-the-counter pain meds. He has illegal—and illegally purchased legal—drugs too, but I worked for Metro for too long to even look at those.

His main lackey comes in, a smile on his face I can only describe as evil. "The winner tonight is fighting Rita."

"No."

I hear the women talking, but I don't join in. They know I'm only here for the week, so they don't include me. It doesn't mean I don't worry for them or know I'm going to somehow try to help them when I'm out. And I get it—I get to leave if I'm alive and they don't.

"I don't want to die tonight."

"If not tonight, it'll just be another night. This is our life now."

I want to ask them what brought them to this hell. I want to, but I don't. I just sit and listen and vow to keep them alive for as long as I can.

X

Gaming night is usually more fun. Scott and I battle Ainsley and Darcy for bragging rights one or twice a week while everyone else plays whatever they want in my game room. The room is bigger than most people's houses and contains everything from arcade machines to consoles no one's going to see in their homes for at least another two years. I built this place to be my sanctuary, but I've realized recently that it's not that for me. I love it, but my peace comes from Micah and Seri.

"Where's Seri?" Harlow asks, cornering me when we're taking a break.

I'm surprised no one else has asked yet. She's usually here, chilling with everyone and playing the games. She's celebrated my wins over the last couple of weeks with me, and I know she'll celebrate with me again when she comes back.

"I don't know."

"She left again? What happened this time?"

I shrug. "Me. I happened."

"X," she says, her shoulders dropping as she looks at me with love in her eyes.

"I didn't want to love again. You know everyone I love leaves and she's already done it once."

"I didn't leave, Gram didn't leave—not everyone leaves."

"Most did."

"You push her away, you know. She doesn't want to leave, but how can she stay? I can barely stomach your parade of women and I'm not in love with you."

"I come home to her every night."

"Please don't make me slap you."

"I'm trying. I cancelled all of my dates and when she comes back, I'm going to give her everything she deserves."

"How do you know she'll come back this time?"

"She promised Micah she'd be home in a week. She wouldn't lie to him."

"She doesn't lie to you, either."

"I'm trying to get my mind to believe that. My heart already knows."

"Listen to your heart."

I shake my head with a laugh. "Look at us, falling in love and being happy."

"We deserve it. _You_ deserve it."

"I think I'm finally starting to believe that."

Seri

They're letting me win. Oh, they're putting up enough of a fight so it doesn't look like they're throwing the matches, but they're not giving it their all. I feel it in the weak hits and see it in their eyes. I can't blame them when I know they're scared of whoever Rita is.

"I'm sorry," the last one of them whispers as she falls to the mat.

So am I. I'm in the final and I have a really bad feeling about this. That feeling intensifies when I'm walking back to the room where we wait between fights. Up ahead, I see her. The woman I'm going to fight looks over to me and I almost stop in my tracks.

Rita's eyes don't look defeated like the other women's do. She looks defiant—and clean. She hasn't been fighting tonight like the rest of us have. Her biceps are glistening in the low light and her hair looks perfect in its braids. If I looked in the mirror right now, I know I'd see some blood, some dirt, and just a general mess. It's clear she's the warrior here and I'm her prey.

Or at least she thinks I am as evidenced by the predatory gleam in her eyes when they meet mine. I won't go down though. I may be no match for her, but I'll take everything Nate taught me and fight with the heart of a warrior, if not the skill or strength of one.

"Clean up," one of the lackeys says to me, tossing some satin garments at me.

"Where's the boss man? I thought for sure he'd want to be here to see this."

"He'll be back later. You probably won't be alive to see him, but I'm sure he'll take a last look at your body before we drop you off."

I remind myself not to engage or show any emotion. I've seen the way things work and if they think there's even a chance I could give Rita a run for her money, they'll put someone else in the ring with her. They won't survive her—I doubt I will either—and I am not about to be responsible for a death I have some power to stop. Even if it costs me my own.

X

"Arthur is here," one my guards tells me, coming into the game room.

We're all lounging around eating after Scott and I evened the running score against the women. It's a chill kind of night and just what I need to keep my mind off Seri for a little while. What I don't need is the master of the black internet showing up here. He's been trying to meet with me for months and I've been putting him off. Coming here is not acceptable.

"Arthur?" Harlow asks, coming to stand next to me.

I wave my hand to indicate he's just an annoyance. "He's a shady as fuck tech guy who's been trying to get me to work with him for longer than he should. He needs to give it up."

"Shit," Ainsley says. "We're running a mission on him right now. That's why only the three of us are here tonight."

"There are literally thousands of things I can imagine you taking him down for, but what's going on tonight?"

"He's forcing women to participate in illegal fights."

"The fuck? Forcing how?"

"Some he picked up like a pimp—and he's pimping too—and some he's done favors for when they thought they had nowhere else to turn. They think he's going to ask for money, but instead he insists on so much more."

"And he's got the muscle to back it up," I add, knowing it's true.

He knows I'm better than him at working the web, so he would never dare try to intimidate me. I would destroy him if he came after me and mine. I'm glad to have the Society taking him down before I have to, only because I have more important things than him to take care of.

"Let him in," Ainsley says, and I know she's communicating with Reina through their implanted comm units.

"Go ahead," I confirm.

Arthur walks in like he owns the place, which is mistake number one. Mistake number two occurs when he opens his mouth.

"It's about time you got smart enough to invite me in."

I cross my arms over my chest. "You weren't invited."

"And yet I'm still here, with your other friends."

"Not my friend, either. What do you want?"

"You know the answer to that."

"I don't know how else you want me to say it to you, but again, I'm not interested in any partnership with you."

"Bad man!" Micah yells, running into the room with Butch on his heels.

"Motherfucker," Arthur says, backing up a little. Nate, Aiden, Jake, and Theo block him from leaving.

I look between the two before crouching down to my son. "Why did you call him that?"

"Seri says he's a bad man. He told me he hoped I wouldn't get hurt and then he grabbed her hard."

I feel deadly calm as I stand to my full height. "You threatened my son and put your hands on my woman?"

"If you kill me, you'll never see her again."

# Chapter 6

Seri

I'm holding my own, but just barely. Standing is getting harder, but I don't want to die today. I know if I fall to the ground it will be all over for me. So, I have to stay on my feet for as long as I can.

"You're not going to win," she taunts me.

Answering her would waste more oxygen than I can spare, so I remain silent.

"Too bad you don't have anyone here to say goodbye to."

She punctuates that sentence with an uppercut I can't deflect. Falling to the ground, I pray for one last chance to see X and Micah. Just one more.

My eyelids are heavy as I watch her foot rise, knowing she's going to kick me. The blow to the head comes but I don't black out yet. Not yet. I'm barely holding on, but the will to live and fight hasn't left me.

She gets down to the mat and puts her arms around my neck, pulling me back against her as she chokes me. I reach up, trying to grab her arms but mine are so heavy, I can't get a grip. Black spots dance in front of my eyes and then I'm free. As I fall to the mat, strong arms catch me. I look up to see Camari holding me in her arms before I finally succumb to the darkness.

X

I held myself in check long enough to send Micah back to his room with Butch. My son does not need to see or hear what's about to go down in this room.

"What have you done?"

"Me? I'm not the one who sent Seriyah running so fast and hard she needed help going into hiding."

I know I have to remain calm and cool on the outside, but inside I'm dying a little. Everyone in this room knows I drove Seri to this monster. That's something I'm going to have to deal with later, because right now getting her back to me alive is all I care about.

"Where is she?"

"I gave her a choice you know. She could fuck who I told her to for a week, or she could fight for her life. She chose to fight."

I don't even realize I'm punching him until he's on the floor. "Get up."

I am nowhere near done with this piece of shit. I may have caused Seri to leave, but he preyed on her just like I heard about him preying on other women tonight. I'm going to help in any way I can, but right now I need Seri. I need her like I need the air I breathe.

"How many times do I have to tell you she'll be lost to you forever if you kill me?"

"I'm going to fuck you up so badly you're going to wish you were dead. But, I'm not going to kill you. Yet."

"She might be dead already now."

"She's not," Ainsley tells me. "She's on the way to Kenny, but she's still alive."

I look to Arthur, planning to finish what I started, but Harlow puts her hand on my arm. "We've got this. Go to Seri."

She doesn't have to tell me twice. I grab my keys and drive to the C&C building. I want to speed—hell, I want to fly—but I force myself to stay within the speed limit. All I need is to get pulled over and waste valuable time I could be spending with the woman I love.

Seri

I wake up to the beeping of machines and the friendly smile of the C&C Foundation doctor, Kendrick. I don't know where I am, but I know if he's here, I'm safe.

"It's good to see you awake, Seriyah."

"How long have I been here?"

"A few hours. It was a little touch and go when you first got here, but we've got the best of everything within these walls."

"Where are we?"

"My medical wing underneath the C&C building."

"I don't understand."

"Reina will be in to explain everything soon. Do you remember what happened to you?"

"I was in a fight," I say, not wanting to tell him everything.

"Yes, you were. I'm not going to ask you why you were there, because that's your business. Reina will probably ask you, so you should be prepared. Answer her truthfully as she usually only asks questions she already knows the answers to."

Reina is gorgeous, fashionable, and more than a little fierce. She seriously takes the term "lady boss" to a whole new level and I'm not looking forward to having to face her. I guess I don't have much of a choice.

She's not the only one I'm afraid to face. I know X will be here at some point. Or maybe he won't. I honestly don't know which would be better right now.

"When is she coming in here?"

"She promised to give the James men the chance to see you first."

"Men?"

"Xavier and Micah are both outside."

My heart sinks. I don't want either of them to see me in the shape I'm in. I know it's bad, even if I can't see myself. I don't feel pain, but that has to be the meds Kendrick has me on.

"I'm not ready to see them."

"They're beside themselves with worry."

"Can you just tell them I went back to sleep? I don't want to hurt either of them more than need be, but I just need a little bit of time."

He nods. "I can do that."

X

I thought I'd die when Seri left me the first time. But, I had to live for my son. When she came back, I never thought I'd have to fight to breathe once again, only now it's worse. Now, it's her life as well as mine I'm fighting for. She can't die. Not before I've proven my love for her and given her everything she deserves from me and more. I swear I'll do it. She can have anything and everything if she lives. Please God, don't let her die.

I'm lost in my thoughts and my pain when Micah bursts out of the elevator. He runs for me and buries himself in my chest. My arms move on instinct, holding him close.

"I had to bring him. He was freaking out," Butch tells me.

"It's fine. Thank you."

"Daddy, is my mommy okay? Did the bad man hurt her?"

"He had someone else hurt her, but we have to believe she's going to be okay."

"She will. Mommy wouldn't leave me. She promised not to leave me."

_God, I really mean it. Please save her. If only for Micah, please let her live._

The room is quiet and as I look around, I see the looks of shock on my friends' faces. "I challenge one of you to tell me she isn't his mother in every way that's important."

No one says a word and I nod. She may not be my wife, but she's his mother. Like my son, I have to have faith in her love for him and her will to live. I won't lie and say I don't wish she wanted to live for me too, but I'll take anything I can get right now.

Seri

My door opens around an hour later and I don't have to look to know who it is. I can always tell when he enters a room. Even with a thousand people around us, I have some crazy sixth sense about where Xavier James is the second he walks through a door.

"Seri?" the voice belongs to my favorite little boy in the world and I can't help but smile.

"Hey, Micah. Come give me a hug."

I feel the bed dip, even as I keep my eyes averted. Small arms encircle my waist as he places his head on my shoulder. Leaning over, I place a kiss on his sweet little head.

"I was scared, Mommy."

The word causes me to freeze for a moment, but when X doesn't say anything about it, I relax. "So was I."

"Daddy knew you'd be okay. He said we had to believe."

I look into the eyes of the man who owns my heart and I see my love reflected back at me. I've seen it so many times before, but this time I see more. I don't know what it is I'm seeing, I only know I feel a sense of hope like I haven't felt in months.

"What do you believe, Xav?" I ask, using the name I used to call him in the early days of our time together. It was my name only and I haven't used it in a long time.

He swallows hard, then looks me in the eyes. "Us. I believe in us. You and me."

"And me!" Micah says, snuggling closer into my side.

"And you, buddy."

I pull Micah up to me and kiss his cheek. "I need to talk to Daddy alone, okay? You can come back in a little bit, and I'll be home soon."

"Okay. I love you, Mommy."

"Love you more, Micah."

I watch him hop down and run out the door. I've no doubt whatever kind of waiting room they have out there is filled with people who will take care of him. X is invaluable to C&C and I've made friends here. There's one I especially need to see, but that can wait for later. Right now, it's the man in front of me I need to hear from.

# Chapter 7

Seri

After drying me off and cuddling with me for a little bit, X tells me he doesn't want to keep Reina waiting any longer. I'm not sure what exactly she has to tell me, but I'm sure it has to do with keeping this medical ward and all that's in it quiet. I can do that—after all, they saved my life and I'm feeling better physically than I did even before this ordeal.

When Camari walks in with her, I call her over for a hug. I still don't know why she was there in the ring with me, but I know I'm thankful she was. I don't know if I'd still be breathing right now if she wasn't.

"I know you have a lot of questions, and I'm going to answer them for you. What we discuss cannot be discussed with anyone outside of the Foundation and the people who are involved in what we do," Reina tells me as she perches on one of the comfy couches in the large room.

"So I can talk to X?"

She smiles. "Yes. X knows everything I'm going to tell you."

"I'm on the edge of my hospital bed."

This time she laughs. A from-the-belly laugh that makes me proud. I've seen Reina laugh before, but never because of me. Something about making this intimidating, powerful woman crack up just makes me extra happy.

"We do more than just what the public thinks we do to help people. Some would actually call us spies."

"Faith would say we're agents of justice," Camari adds.

My eyes widen. "That's why you were there tonight."

"Yes. I'm glad we could be there to help you, but we were already going to take Arthur down."

"Help? You saved me, Reina."

"You held your own for longer than I thought you could. I know Nate gave you some lessons, and I was honestly impressed."

"Are you offering me a job?"

"In a hot minute, but I don't know how X would take that."

"He helps you. I knew he did, but he said he was part of this thing on my arm and now I know he must do more."

"Yes. The 'thing' on your arm administers the meds you're on. Special meds Audrey, Kali, Kenny, and Caleb develop. We all have something like it implanted in us, but we keep external ones on hand as well for friends and family."

"I thought this place was too extravagant, but when you're saving the world, you deserve some luxury as you recover."

"My thoughts exactly."

"This is how you met Lennon, isn't it Cam?"

"Yes. He was asking too many questions about us. It became much more, but I was there to convince him to drop things."

"All that mess with the Sheriff. Wow, I had no idea what was really going on."

"That means we were doing our jobs right," Reina reminds me.

"I meant what I said about wanting to help you."

"I know, and I'll take all the help we can get. I meant what I said about X needing you, but you knowing what we're doing will make things easier when we need his help too."

"Thank you. Again. I don't know what else to say. Just thank you."

"You're welcome. Kiss your guys and get some rest."

She leaves before Camari, who turns to look at me once she's gone. "Micah called you his mommy and X challenged anyone to prove you aren't where it counts. I know he's an ass, but I don't doubt he loves you."

"I think he does in his own way, but he's not willing to give me all of him yet. No matter what he says, I know it."

"Can you give him the time to prove it?"

"I'm going to try."

"I'm here for you and so are the rest of the women in the Society. We've wanted you to know for so long."

"The Society?"

"That's our real name," she tells me with a wink, before hugging me and walking out to let me rest.

Rest. My mind is going in so many different directions, but soon my eyes are closing. Something tells me Kendrick's helping me along and I vow to thank him for that the next time I see him.

X

I wasn't going home last night because going home without Seri is just not something I can do mentally. Micah wanted to stay too, so we folded out one of the sofa beds and cuddled up together. I won't deny wishing I was on the bed with Seri, holding her tight so no one could hurt her again, but she was sleeping peacefully and I wasn't going to disturb her by having me and Micah climb in with her. We can cuddle her in my big bed when we get her home.

My brain comes slowly awake as I hear Micah giggling. Squinting my eyes open, I see him already cuddled up with Seri. I watch them whisper and laugh for a few minutes before her eyes meet mine.

"It looks like your Daddy's awake."

"Finally! We were waiting for breakfast until you woke up and I'm hungry."

"Sorry, buddy."

"You needed it," Seri tells me and I nod.

"I did, but now it's time for breakfast. What would you two like?"

"Waffles!" Micah shouts.

Seri just shrugs. "Whatever you order will be fine."

"Nope. No more doubling my order or getting both of us something you think I'd like. There is a full-service cafeteria upstairs and you're getting whatever _you_ want."

"My boss rarely lets me go eat there, so I haven't had a chance to experience all of it."

"Your boss is an ass, but he's willing to try and be better."

"I'm going to remind him of this conversation quite often."

"Please do."

"I think I'd love a three-cheese omelet, home fries, and sourdough toast if they have it."

"They have everything," Micah tells her.

"Great. I'm going to go freshen up while you order."

When she's in the bathroom with the door closed, I place our order. After, Micah pulls on my t-shirt until I sit next to him.

"What's up?"

"You can't be mean to her anymore, Daddy. You said her boss was a bad word and _you're_ her boss. I don't want you to be that word to her."

"I don't want that either."

"Did you order her flowers?"

I nod. "I did. I got her lots of flowers."

"Good. I'm going to make her a card when we get home."

"She's going to like that more than my flowers."

"I know. You should make her something, too."

Make her my wife is what I should do, but not yet. I can't get engaged to her before the Masquerade. That's the last time I'm taking another woman out and then I can put my ring on her finger, right where it belongs.

Breakfast arrives, and it's fun like it always is when the three of us share a meal together. Micah says stuff to make us laugh, Seri indulges him when he wants to her to share what's on her plate with him, and I know again how lucky I am to be here with them.

While Kenny checks her out one last time before her release, Stella brings down some clothes and Harlow calls to tell me everything is ready for us at home. I'm once again thankfully for this network of people I've become a part of. I once thought Micah and I should be alone, living in the middle of nowhere—with no one—but now I know I would've been doing us both a disservice. My boy thrives on human interaction and I'm realizing I might just prefer some people to computers.

When we get home, Seri moves toward her room, but I take her elbow and guide her toward mine, which is now _ours_. "Harlow moved your stuff in here."

"Are you sure?"

"You always belonged in here with me."

Opening the door, I look at her, watching her face as she sees the flowers and the things from her room mixed with mine. Her hands go to her mouth and she reaches out to touch the petals of one of the flowers. Fuck if I know what kind they are, but they make her happy and that's all that matters.

"You did this for me?"

"Me!" Micah shouts from behind us. "I told Daddy to get you flowers."

The light dies a little from her eyes, but the smile doesn't leave her face as she leans down to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you."

Dammit. That should've been me she was kissing. This time, it's not about being jealous of my kid. I'm feeling like shit because I shouldn't have needed him to tell me to buy her flowers. I have her send flowers every week, and yet I never did this for her before. Hell, I didn't even do it for her now. I have got to step up my game and show her what she means to me. If I don't, the little boy in front of me is going to be the only reason for her to stay.

# Chapter 8

Seri

"Daddy promised to take me to see Gramam," Micah yells, tears running down his cheeks.

"I know, but he had something come up at work. He said he'd take you tomorrow."

"I promised her I'd see her today."

"I don't know where she is, or I'd take you."

"I know."

I cross my arms over my chest and cock an eyebrow. "You know how to get to see your grandma?"

A grandma I've never heard about except from a random comment here and there by Micah. X has certainly never talked to me about her. Then again, why would he when he doesn't think I'm important enough to be more than a mother to his son and a lover in his bed?

"Black car."

I shake my head and fight a smile. Of course. X hired a private driver for Micah when they moved here. He only uses her when one of us can't pick him up from a rare playdate, or if he needs to meet him somewhere. The woman who drives him was vetted more than the generals at the Pentagon.

"Your driver knows where to go?"

"Uh-huh."

I throw up my hands. "Let's call her."

Why not? I don't know where X takes Micah on their "secret" weekend outings, but apparently, it's to see his grandmother. To say I'm curious is an understatement.

The car arrives promptly and we're on our way. Micah is bouncing in his seat, clearly excited. "Should I be jealous? You don't get this excited to see me."

"Yes I do! I missed you lots and lots when you went away. Don't go away again, please."

"I won't," I promise. No matter what happens—or doesn't happen—with X, I'm not running from this boy again.

The apartments we pull up to are gated with a guard stationed outside. I'm not on the visitor list, but he recognizes the car and Micha, so I'm allowed access. Wow. I mean, I know X wouldn't do anything less than the best for his family, but the guard—and when we drive through the gates—the grounds, are just insane.

"We go in the Clubhouse," Micah tells me when the car stops.

"Okay."

I follow him inside and the first thing I see are the roses. Abracadabra roses. The roses X has been having me send to women at the same apartment complex for months now.

"Seri, what's wrong?" Micah asks me, but I can barely hear him as an older woman approaches us.

She has kind eyes. X's eyes, but kind. I know they're related, but she's too old to be his mother.

"My dear, are you okay?"

I shake my head. "What is the address here?"

She tells me and it's a fight for me to stay upright. The flowers came here. The women are here. All this time I've thought X was having me send flowers to other women he was dating, but he was sending them to this place where his family is.

I shouldn't be surprised. Despite his promises, not much has changed between us since I left the hospital wing. He lets me go to the caf for lunch, but he never joins me, and he never takes me out on dates. He serves me candlelit meals and we have movie date nights, but always at home.

"Seri? Mommy?" Micah asks again, tugging on my hand and forcing me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry. I was just looking at the roses."

"My grandson loves to spoil all of us," the woman says, rubbing one of the deep red and lemon-yellow petals between her fingers.

"Grandson?"

"Yes. Xavier is my grandson. And you must be Seriyah."

"You know who I am?" I blurt out.

"Yes, but you didn't know who I am, so I fear we have much catching up to do."

That's an understatement. Before I can say that to her, X is running into the room like he's on fire. Not for me, he's not. I don't know why he did what he did, but I can't keep doing this with him. I tell myself that over and over again, but yet I come back for more. More lies, more pain, and more indifference.

As his eyes meet mine, I turn and walk away. Away from X, away from Micah, and away from his grandmother. I promised Micah I wouldn't leave—and I won't—but I need to get away from all of this for a moment. Just a moment to try and accept that lying to me will always be a way of life for the man I love.

X

I didn't make it here in time. I knew I wouldn't, but I told myself I had a chance.

My meeting ended early, so I called Micah's driver to pick him up. When she said she'd already picked up him and Seri, I knew. I knew yet another day of reckoning was coming. I promised my woman the truth and yet I kept this from her.

"Daddy, something's wrong with Seri!"

"I know."

"Micah, why don't you go visit Dell. He has some candy for you. Your daddy and I will make sure Seri's okay."

"Tell her I love her," he says, making my chest ache.

"We will." She waits until he's run across the room before turning to me. "Talk."

"I screwed up. Again. Well, actually this had been ongoing, but yeah."

"What did you do?"

I run my fingers through my hair and look anywhere but at the woman who raised me. "I made her think I was having her send the roses to women I was dating."

"The roses come every week. With a different resident's name on them," she says, awareness dawning. "Oh, Xavier. No."

"I was scared. Hell, I'm still scared. I'm always scared."

"I know. It's time you faced that fear, don't you think. You've overcome everything else standing in your way. Now it's time to let your heart be free to love and trust that woman out there."

I look to where Seri's sitting on a bench outside, her shoulders shaking. "I want to."

"Then do it. You've told me so much about her and what she means to both you and Micah. He's also told me he thinks of her as his real mother. Losing her the first time apparently didn't scare you enough. Are you prepared to lose her again before being brave enough to act?"

"I can't lose her," I whisper, knowing it's the truth.

My grandmother holds out her hand to me. "Let's go talk to her."

Nodding, I take her hand in mine and walk outside. Seri looks up at the sound of the automatic door. Her cheeks are stained with tears and I wonder how many more times I can make her cry before she gives up. On me, on us, on everything.

"I just need a minute."

My grandmother walks over and sits next to her, placing her hand on Seri's arm. The pain in her eyes when she looks at that hand makes me die a little more inside.

"We've given you a few. It's time for Xavier to talk to you and I'm going to be here to help you both."

"I didn't know your grandmother lived here," she tells me, the hurt in her eyes tearing me to pieces. "Not once did you mention her. You led me to believe the roses were for other women."

"I don't talk to anyone about my Ma. Or Harlow or Micah. You know them already, so I couldn't really hide those two from you."

"This is worse than I thought," I hear before I'm slapped on the arm by the first woman who truly loved me.

"I'm trying," I tell her, through gritted teeth.

"Try harder. Open your heart and let her see her place in it."

"I'm scared to lose you, Seri. So fucking scared that you'll walk away like almost everyone else in my life has."

"I've been fighting to stay since the moment I met you. Fighting with my mind, which tells me you'll never let me all the way in. Fighting with my heart and soul which call you theirs. And fighting with the women you make me feel I have no chance of competing with."

"There's no competition. You're it. Everything."

"Everything? That's why you're embarrassed to take me on a date outside the house or even to eat lunch with me in the café? Not to mention the Masquerade? Because I'm 'everything' to you?"

The fuck? "I'm not embarrassed. Are you insane?"

"I heard you talking to the guys. I heard you tell them you'd never take me to something like the Masquerade while you asked them to help you pick a date for the party."

No. Fuck no. "You misunderstood."

"So you're not taking the model you told me you chose? I just imagined all the blondes who came to the office for their interviews? The ones you paraded in my face the way you do with all of your women?"

"Xavier Apollo James."

"I know Ma. Believe me, I know."

"What do you know?" Seri demands.

"That I've fucked up. I've wronged you more times than I can count and I'm pretty sure it's only my son keeping you here. I've hurt us both too much. I know all of that, and I also know I want to fix it. Somehow I want to fix it and make you realize how much I love you."

"Stop lying to me. Take me to the Masquerade. That's a start."

"I can do the first, but not the second. I promised Francesca she'd be my date. I can't just cancel on her."

"It's a month away, not tomorrow. You could cancel if you wanted to. If you truly wanted me. I'm not asking you for your coding secrets or your life. All I want is to walk into that ball on your arm. I just want you to tell the world you're mine. Maybe it's childish and petty, but I just want that one thing."

I know when I say the words it's all going to be over. But, I committed to Francesca and I've built my reputation on always honoring my commitments. I can't back out now, not even for Seri.

"I can't. Ask me for anything else. I'll give you all the technology I haven't released yet if you want it. I'll give you all of my money or diamonds or anything."

"You think I want material things from you?"

Shit. "No."

"Why did you offer?"

"Because it's all I have to give."

"You're so wrong about that," she tells me, standing up. "I'll see you in the office tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? What about tonight? I'll make dinner. We can talk more about what you want—what you need."

"I need to distance myself from you, because I told you what I want and you refuse to give it to me. I promised Micah I wouldn't leave again, but there is no way I can live in the same house as you. I'm not sure I'll even survive working for you, but I won't leave everyone hanging like I've already done twice. It's not fair to them."

"All of this over a stupid ball?"

"You don't understand, and I don't know how to make you understand. Maybe your grandmother can—or Harlow or the Studkateers—but I'm too tired to keep fighting a losing battle."

"Please," I beg, ready to fall to my knees if that's what she needs.

"Not this time. I'm sorry, but no."

"How could she walk away?" I ask, watching her stop to talk to Micah on her way out.

"Oh Xavier, how could she possibly stay?"

# Chapter 9

Seri

It's been a week. A week of having to see the man I love while finally accepting we'll never be together. I could go back to the way things were, being at his beck and call for more than just work, but I have too much self-respect for that. I lost it for a while, but I've forced myself to find it again and I'm holding onto it for dear life.

"Hey Seri, is he free?" Scott Griffin asks, shooting me a panty-dropping smile. He was once as wild and free with his dick as X is, but he found a woman who made him realize love is something to hold onto when you find it.

"Yeah. His meeting with Matt got pushed back, so go on in."

"Are you going to announce me?"

"Nope."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It won't change anything."

He shakes his head. "Don't give up on him. Sometimes it's harder than it should be for our technical brains to understand how to love. It doesn't mean we can't, just that we process things differently."

"If I thought I had any chance, I'd hold on for dear life. I see you and Ainsley loving hard with your big brains, so I know it's possible. Just not for me."

"What do you need? Maybe I can help."

"I need to be his date for the Masquerade. He says he loves me, but he won't show the world he's mine. It's all I asked him for and he turned me down. Offered me money and technology but said he couldn't cancel his date with the model."

"Fuck. I'll talk to him."

"Don't. I shouldn't have said anything."

He leans over my desk, looking me in the eye. "He loves you. I know that without a shadow of a doubt. I don't know why he's holding onto this, but there has to be a reason."

"Scott? Did we have a meeting today?"

Neither of us heard X come out of his office, but here he is, standing next to my desk. Scott straightens, giving him a fist bump. Like we hadn't just been talking about him.

"No, but I wanted to run something by you. Seri said you're free right now?"

"Yeah. I was going to grab something to eat in the caf if you want to join me. We can take one of the private rooms and talk."

"I can always eat," Scott tells him, rubbing his hand over his t-shirt. If I wasn't so in love with X, I might totally swoon over the abs outlined there. Okay, I swoon a little.

"Have a nice lunch," I say, looking only at Scott.

I'm not jealous that he can so casually ask Scott to eat with him in the cafeteria, while I'm not good enough. Nope, not jealous at all. Heartbroken all over again is more like it.

X

"I didn't realize things were finally over for you and Seri," Scott says when we take our seats in one of the private rooms ringing the C&C cafeteria.

"The fuck we are."

"She's done, man. I'm sorry, but I've got to take her side on this one. You not taking her to the ball is huge."

"It's just a party."

"The company party, where everyone who works here will be. You were heading here to lunch without her, weren't you?"

"I would've brought something back for her."

"So not the point."

"I can't bring her here or take her out on dates and then show up at the Masquerade with someone else. I know how the vultures constantly circle, looking for someone to attack. I won't do that to her."

"There's a simple solution to that, you know. Take her as your date."

"I made a promise to Francesca. I don't break promises."

"Breaking your woman's heart is a million times worse than breaking a promise to someone else."

"Is this all you had to talk to me about?"

"No. I wanted to get your ideas on something I'm doing with Yas and the book charity."

For the next hour, we bounce things back and forth, as I help him take care of _his_ woman. The stubborn part of me wants to tell him again how wrong he is about the Masquerade, but the part of me that loves Seri is bigger and stronger, so I pick up my phone and make the call I need to.

"Hi X," Francesca says when she answers.

"Hey. Listen, I need to talk to you about the Masquerade."

"I just got my dress yesterday. I can wait!"

"I can't take you," I blurt out.

"Oh."

"You can still come, and I can release a statement or whatever talking about how intelligent you are and even get your input on some stuff so we can say we worked together, but you can't be my date."

"Whoever she is, she's a lucky woman."

"No, I'm the lucky one."

"Can I bring my boyfriend?"

I choke out a laugh. "Of course."

My steps are lighter as I make my way back to my office. There's still so much I need to tell Seri but taking her to the Masquerade was the major thing holding us back. Now, I can let her know more about Gram and Harlow and me. I know she won't judge me and I need her to understand why I've been the way I am. Once it's all out on the table, we can move finally move forward.

Only she's not at her desk when I get back. Checking my phone, I see she sent a text that Reina needed to speak to her. I make another decision right then and there, asking her to meet me at Gram's place when she's done. I text Harlow the same request because I need everyone there when I tell her the rest of my truths.

I debate picking up Micah to take with me but decide against it. This conversation is going to be real and raw and he doesn't need to hear about my past until he's older. Right now, he should just be the kid he is and not have to worry about my shit or how it's messed me up.

"Xavier, it's always wonderful to see you, but why do I feel like there's more to this than just a regular visit," my Gram asks when I arrive at her apartment.

"I asked Seri and Harlow to meet me here."

"You're finally going to open your heart all the way to Seri."

"Yes. I cancelled my date for the Masquerade."

She nods and cups my chin in her hand. "I knew you'd choose correctly."

"What if it's too late? She moved out, you know."

"If she's closed her heart to you, you have to fight even harder to open it back up again."

"I feel like my life is just a series of fights to be loved and worthy."

"You've always been loved by those who deserve _your_ love. No one else matters."

"I'm starting to believe that."

"It's all I've ever hoped for, my sweet boy."

# Chapter 10

Seri

I won't deny I was excited when Reina called to say she had something she needed my help with. Entering her office, I'm not surprised to see Harlow, but the handsome man sitting in one of the other chairs is unfamiliar to me.

"Thanks for coming by," Reina says with a smile.

"I'm happy to help with anything you need."

"I knew you would be. You already know Harlow of course, and this is Dustin."

"Hello," I tell him taking the hand he holds out.

"Dustin is part of a new program we started recently to grant wishes to terminally ill adults. There are a couple of other organizations who do this already, but we have resources they don't have access to."

"Oh. I'm so sorry, Dustin."

"Don't be. I've come to terms with my mortality."

I want to ask him what he's dying from, but I don't want to pry. He'll tell me if he wants me to know. I won't deny I'm curious, though, and I know I'm going to help in any way I can to make his wish come true.

"What can I do?"

"My wish is to hang out with Xavier James, Ainsley Taylor, and Scott Griffin. I've heard they're all friends and it would just be cool to talk with them."

"That's easy."

"I don't want them to know I'm dying. I don't want special treatment from them."

"Which is where the problem lies—how do we insert Dustin into our lives with no explanation?" Reina asks.

"I'm not trying to be difficult."

"You're not. We love a challenge."

"It's actually not a challenge," I tell them with a smile. "I need a date for the Masquerade. Everyone will be there. The ball itself is formal, but as my date, you could let me bring him to the after-party at the C&C apartments."

"It's brilliant," Reina tells me.

"Or the worst idea in the history of all ideas," Harlow mumbles. "My cousin is not going to react well to you showing up with Dustin."

"X is bringing his own date, so he has no place to say a word about me bringing mine."

"You're sure it's okay?" Dustin asks, looking nervous now.

"Yes."

"I agree. X will have his date, Seri will bring Dustin, and we'll all have a fun time."

"Okay, well thanks Seri. I'd love to be your date."

"Great. Give me your phone and I'll put all my contact info in."

We exchange a few more pleasantries before Harlow and I get texts asking us to meet X at his grandmother's place. I'm stressing out as we head down in the elevator, but she's the picture of calm.

"You can relax, Seri. If something was wrong with our Gram, X would call and not text. Unless it's your date you're worried about."

Is she serious? "Why would I be worried about that?"

"You moved out because my cousin's escorting some model he has no interest in, and now you're doing the same thing."

"Dustin isn't a model—and I asked him after moving out of X's bed, not while I was sleeping in it."

"You weren't sleeping in X's bed when he asked Francesca."

"No, he was sleeping in mine. Every night after he took some other woman out on a date. I let him so that's on me. You can't blame me for deciding I'd had enough."

"I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. I'm protective of X, because I've had to be for a long time."

"I used to hope he'd tell me his story, but I've had to move on."

"It breaks my heart for both of you, but I understand."

"Thank you."

We get in separate cars when we get to the parking garage, and I try hard not to feel the guilt she wanted me to feel. Even she admitted it was wrong, so why am I feeling it anyway? Because I'll never stop loving her cousin, no matter how hard I try to.

X

Seri and Harlow walk into the apartment together. I start to stand, but my Gram puts her hand on my arm. I know she's warning me not to take things for granted with Seri, but now that I've cleared the obstacle for us, I don't want to wait.

"Thanks for coming."

"What's up cuz?"

"I cancelled my date with Francesca."

"Shit," Harlow says.

I ignore her as I look to Seri, but her reply slays me. "What does that have to do with you requesting my presence?"

"She's a tough one. I knew I liked her," my Gram whispers.

I try again. "We can go together now."

"I have a date."

"You what?"

It comes out as a roar because I'm completely blindsided. I know I need to calm down, but I practically see red as I move toward her. This is not part of the plan. We're supposed to go together, just like she told me she wanted.

"I have a date."

She's so calm, while I'm a swirl of emotions. "I did this because I love you. I broke my word for the first time in my life because you said it's what you needed."

"I need to love and respect myself more than I need you to do something just because you think it will get me back into your bed."

"I can't believe this. You're just like all the rest of them. All the jackals who only want to use me."

"I'm going to leave now, because you're obviously not thinking clearly right now."

I shake my head, the edges of my vision still burning red. "Actually, I think I'm finally seeing things just the way they are. Get out. Out of this apartment, out of my office, out of my fucking life."

"Xavier, no!" my Gram cries, just as Harlow says "No."

"I want to work out visitation with Micah."

"It's ironic he calls you his mother, because you're just as bad as she is."

"You mean that."

It's not a question, but I answer anyway. "One thousand percent."

"I will not walk away from that little boy. If that means I can only see him at C&C, or with Butch and Harlow there, so be it. But, you won't keep me from him."

"How are you going to see him at C&C without a job there?"

"Matt has always promised me another position if anything happened with you. You can do everything you want to destroy me because I didn't fall into the line you wanted me to fall into, but I'm not alone."

"You think they'll side with you?"

"No, I think they'll take no sides. Now, I really am going to leave." She turns to my Gram. "I'm sorry, Mrs. James. This is not at all what I was expecting when I came here, and you shouldn't have witnessed this. You either, Harlow."

"Please come back and see me, Seriyah."

"Gram."

"You have no say in this, Xavier Apollo James."

"I don't want to cause any more trouble, but I would love to visit you again."

"And I'd love to have lunch with you tomorrow," Harlow says, giving her a hug.

I wait until Seri's gone to turn on the two women I thought would always have my back.

"Really? You're going to be _friends_ with her? After what just happened?"

"What just happened is exactly what she described it as—you didn't get your way and you lashed out at her. I told you to fight if it seemed like it was too late, but I'm not sure if there's even a possibility for you to earn her forgiveness after the hate you just spewed. And bringing Micah into it? You are so much better than that."

"Apparently, I'm not."

"Her date isn't a bad guy."

"You know him."

"I met him today, yes. He's a cool guy and I think you could be friends."

"Friends with some guy who's going to have his hands on Seri? Not likely."

"You of all people should know everything's not always what it seems."

"What aren't you telling me?" I ask, looking at her more closely now. She's definitely hiding something.

"Nothing I can talk about. Go to the Masquerade, be nice to her date, and don't try to keep her from your son. Oh and don't fire her. If you do that Matt's going to be pissed, Reina will want your blood, and Lennon will probably kick your ass."

"I'm not scared of any of them. Even if I was why would I do all of that?"

"Because it's the only way you'll have any chance to get her back."

"Did you not hear anything I said to her?"

It's my Gram who gets to her feet and stands before me. I don't want to look in her eyes because I know I was wrong. Seri may not be right, but I was wrong in the way I handled it. I force myself to look at her, anyway.

"We heard it all, but more importantly, we know where it came from. She's not the women—or men—from your past and she didn't deserve to be compared to them. What's done is done, so now you need to work on repairing the damage."

I pull out my phone and text her. I tell her she's still going to have her job if she wants it. I tell her she's free to see Micah anywhere she wants, without chaperones. And, I tell her I'm sorry.

She thanks me but doesn't say she forgives me or even if she'll be in the office tomorrow. I don't know where to go from here or if there's even a place we can meet and be together. All I know is I didn't come this far to give up.

# Chapter 11

Seri

The hardest choice I've ever made in my life was to walk back into this office and take a seat at my desk. _My desk_. It's mine and the thought of seeing someone sitting at it again was worse than the thought of coming back here after X said what he said to me yesterday.

"Hi," the man himself says, placing a vase full of flowers on my desk. There seems to be one of almost everything in there, but it works.

"Are these from Micah?"

"No, they're from Micah's bastard of a father."

"Thank you."

"I truly am sorry for what I said to you yesterday."

"I appreciate your apology."

"But you don't forgive me."

"No, I don't. I can't."

"Yet. You can't yet."

"That's not what I said."

"I know, but I'm choosing to hope."

He walks into his office before I can say more, not that I know what to say. We've navigated so many roads and emotions and yet more keep coming. I wish I knew which path to choose that would lead us to a fairytale castle, but then again, I'm no princess.

Work keeps me busy all morning and then it's lunch time before I know it. I knock on X's door, then poke my head inside.

"Is it okay if I go to lunch now? I told Harlow I'd meet her, but I can wait if you need me."

He starts to say something but stops, closing and opening his mouth a couple of times before speaking. "Would you mind if I joined you?"

Yes, because being this close to him is killing me, just like it always does. I refuse to be petty, though. I'm still angry and hurt by his verbal attack, but I've been playing the role of the better person for so long, there's no point in stopping now.

"Not at all."

He places his hand on my back when we get downstairs and it takes everything in me to step away from his touch. He doesn't get to insult me and then act like everything's fine now. It's not, even if my body wants me to say it is.

Harlow waves from a table in the middle of the room. X motions that we're going to get food first, but I break away from him and practically sprint to the table.

"He brought me flowers," I blurt out.

"He knows what he did and said yesterday was wrong."

"I can't just forgive him because he's bringing me flowers and apologizing."

"No, but you can give him a chance."

"I've done that before and it didn't work out in my favor."

"This time, I think it will."

X sets a plate of combination fried rice, spring rolls, crab rangoons, and tempura shrimp in front of me and I know I'm in trouble. Or at least the shreds of my willpower are, because this is one of my favorite meals, and I didn't even know he paid that much attention to me and what I like. He asks me every time he orders Chinese takeout, but now he's showing me he already knows my order?

When he kisses the top of my head and sits down next to me, I realize it's a losing battle. Doesn't mean I'm going to let him know that yet.

"There are three other seats at this table."

"I like this one."

"That's my cue to leave. Raincheck on lunch, okay?"

"What? Harlow!"

She walks away with a smile and a kiss blown over her shoulder to me. This is not the plan for today. I planned each day out so I could survive them. What I'd wear, what I'd eat—all of it. Those plans just walked out on the shoulders of a bombshell beauty who only has eyes for a nerd. I totally get it.

"I heard your boss is a hardass about the timing of lunch hours, so you should probably start eating."

"Why are you doing this?" I ask, picking at my food. I'm hungry and I want to eat it, but I want to know his motives even more.

"Because I love you. I keep saying it, and then I keep fucking things up. So now, I'm just going to show you until you believe me."

"I'm not cancelling my date."

He takes a deep breath. "And I'm going to try and be okay with that. I might punch him if his hand wanders, but otherwise I'll be civil."

"Please do."

"I...can we...never mind."

"I'm not moving back into your bed yet."

"I know. That's not what I was going to ask. I know I have to earn that right."

"You do. So, what were you going to ask?"

"It's not important."

I'm not going to force whatever it is out of him, so I nod. "Okay."

"Micah asked if you could come to dinner tonight."

"Of course."

"He said you like the garlic knots at Trattoria Reggiano, so I thought we'd go there."

"You want to take me out in public?"

The intensity in his eyes would scare me if I didn't know it meant he was placing all his focus on me and this. "Yes."

"I'd like that."

Like it? I'd love it. It's one of the things he's been holding back from me, making me feel inferior to the women he took out for the world to see.

"How about if I pick you up at 6?"

"We could just meet there after work."

"What kind of date would it be if I didn't come to your door?"

Stop swooning, Seri. Stop it right now. Yeah, not gonna happen.

"I'll be ready at six."

"I'll be there. I mean, we'll be there. Me and Micah."

"I can't wait."

I already know what I'm going to wear. It's a little too dressy and a little too sexy, but I want to wear it tonight for our first date. He's working hard to win me over and I want him to win—so we can both win.

X

"Is my tie straight?" Micah asks me as we ride the elevator up in the C&C apartments where Seri's been staying since she moved out.

"Looking good," I tell him with a smile.

He was almost as nervous as I was when we were getting ready tonight. Suits and ties might be too much, especially when I don't usually wear them unless I have to. Seri deserves our best though, and I'll be damned if she's not going to get it.

When she opens her door, I nearly fall to my knees. Her hair is swept up on top of her head and she's got almost no make-up on, but as always, she's gorgeous. And that dress. Fuck me to hell and back, that dress is going to kill me.

It's off-the-shoulder—way off her shoulder—black with a ruffle at the top and moving down the long sleeves. That ruffle is pretty much the only thing between my mouth and her tits right now. Okay yeah, she's probably wearing a bra, but those beauties are definitely holding that ruffle up. The rest of the dress is just black material ending around mid-thigh. Just damn.

"You look pretty, Mommy," Micah tells her, thrusting the roses he wanted to buy her into her hands.

"Why thank you, handsome boy."

"Daddy said he already got you flowers and I didn't even have to tell him this time."

"He did." She smiles up at me. "Hi."

"Hi."

We follow her into the apartment. When she reaches to grab a vase from the kitchen cabinet, I grab it for her so Micah doesn't see more of her than he should. Yeah, that's totally why I did it. It had nothing to do with rubbing up against her. Nothing at all.

She turns to me with a smirk. "You wear a suit well."

"You look stunning."

"Thank you."

"Give her the picture, Daddy."

"Picture?"

"Micah thought I should draw you a picture since I wasn't bringing more flowers."

"Are you going to show me?"

I want to say no. I can code her a program no one else can, but I'm no Owen or Bodhi. She's waiting for it though, and Micah's nodding to me like a proud parent instead of my kid, so I hand it over.

"Two stick figures kissing. Hmm...trying to hint to me, Mr. James."

"He wants to kiss you, don't you Daddy."

"More than I've ever wanted anything in my life."

She raises an eyebrow. "Even after I eat the garlic knots?"

"Even if I wasn't going to be eating them too."

"You keep this up and you might get a kiss—on the cheek."

"I'll take it," I tell her, meaning it.

Micah tugs on her hand. "Come on, I'm hungry."

Me too, kid. Me too. Just not for garlic knots and pasta. Especially not when I let the two of them walk out the door in front of me. Can I ask to kiss her cheeks too and not specify the ones of her face? No? No.

Dinner is delicious, but also another form of torture. I thought I got my cock under control on the ride here while we listed to Disney music and Micah couldn't stop talking. I was wrong, because once Seri took a bite of her garlic knot and moaned, I was hard as the stone they probably cook the pizza on. And let's not forget how she wrapped that pasta around her fork before putting it in her mouth.

"Are you ready to go little guy?" Butch asks, coming up to our outdoor table.

"Go?" I ask, confused as to why he's here.

"Micah asked me to pick him up."

God, I love my kid, but I can't let Seri think I was behind this. "I didn't know. I swear."

"I believe you," she says with a smile.

"Take her to get ice cream. She loves ice cream," Micah whispers. From the smile on Seri's face, I know she heard.

I keep up the act by stage whispering back to him. "Got it. Anything else I should do to get that kiss on the cheek?"

"Make her smile."

"I'll do everything I can to make sure she smiles all night. Promise."

"Will you come home tonight, Mommy?"

The couple at the table next to us has been trying to preserve our privacy, but their eyes go wide now. I mouth an apology to Seri, but she just smiles and nods at my son. _Our_ son.

"Where else would I be?" she asks, before turning to our neighbors. "I've been traveling a lot for work lately."

If I wanted to kiss her earlier, right now I just want to pull her close and thank her for gracing us with her presence in our lives. I settle for picking up her hand from the table and kissing it. She links her hand with mine as we wait for the check, smiling as she meets my eyes. I grab my wallet and toss some cash on the table with one hand, because I refuse to let her go.

"Did I hear something about ice cream?" she asks, clasping my arm with her other hand as we walk.

"Wouldn't be a proper date if I didn't buy you dessert, now would it?"

"I've wanted this for so long that you could've taken me to McDonald's and it would still be the best date I'd ever been on."

"Only because you love Big Macs."

"I _do_ love them, but I love you more. I'm not ready to forgive and forget because you hurt me, but you're getting that kiss on the cheek when you drop me at my bedroom door tonight."

"I really am sorry about that. Micah misses eating breakfast with you every day."

"Just Micah?"

"If I tell you I miss eating _you_ for breakfast, are you going to still think I want you only for sex?"

"No, because I miss that too," she tells me with a laugh.

"Too soon?"

"Yes."

I shrug out of my jacket and place it over her shoulders when I feel her shiver in the cool night air. "I'm not going to reject that kiss on the cheek—or anything else when you're ready to give me more. Just so you know."

"Noted."

We get our ice cream and when we get home, I get that kiss on the cheek. And wake up several times during the night to give my hand the workout my cock demands. That part of my body isn't as patient as my mind and heart are, but I don't blame him one bit.

# Chapter 12

Seri

I'm feeling overwhelmed as Stella's assistant Kevin fusses around me before the Masquerade. This past week has been a whirlwind of flowers, lunches, and dinner dates. Sometimes, Micah joins us and sometimes it's just the two of us. And yes, there's breakfast every morning too, although I haven't slept in X's bed or let him sleep in mine. I've practically moved back in, but I haven't allowed things to go back to the way they were yet.

The dress Stella helped me choose has a bodice made of cut mirrors. They fan out into part of the flowing white ballgown skirt and then scatter all over it. It's beautiful and a part of me wishes it was going to be X's arm I walk in on. But no, I promised this to Dustin and anything I can do to make the last days of his life special, I will. Well, almost anything—but he's been nothing more than friendly to me when we've talked and texted about the evening.

"You're ready," Kevin tells me.

"Thank you for your help."

"Anytime."

He walks out to meet up with his husband, Brent, and I grab my elaborate hand-held mask. Yes, it's technically a masquerade, but we don't want to stay hidden all night, so pretty much all the women are using hand-held masks so we don't mess up our hair or make-up.

"Wow," Dustin says when he sees me.

"You look very handsome yourself," I tell him with a smile.

He does. He looks healthy despite whatever's killing him and with his dark blond hair and blue eyes, he's definitely going to be getting the attention of the women—and some men—in the ballroom tonight. Even if he wasn't sick, he wouldn't be the one for me, though, and we both know it.

"What should I expect when we walk in there?"

"Great food, dancing, some prizes. Normal employee party, just on a higher level."

"I mean with Xavier. You're more than just his assistant, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," I admit. "He wasn't happy about me bringing a date, but he's promised to be civil. Just start talking tech to him and he'll warm up."

"He's a lucky man."

"I think he's starting to realize that."

We walk in and get a picture taken on the entry stairs. There's a photo area set up on the side, but neither of us are interested in that. Well, I'm interested in getting him in a pic with X, Scott, and Ainsley but we could always do that with our phones.

"Wow, you're not here with X?" One of the guys from Finance asks as we walk by.

"No."

His laugh is loud when I answer. "This is perfect."

I try to ignore the looks we get from everyone everywhere. I know X is across the room, and I feel his eyes on me. I also know he'll keep his promise.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Dustin tells me again.

"I honestly didn't think it would be such a big deal. I'm sorry. I promise once we leave here and go the after-party, it'll be more fun."

We grab drinks and I lead him over to where the people he wants to meet are. X stands as we approach.

"Xavier James," he says, holding out his hand.

"I know."

"This is Dustin," I tell him, nudging my date who has gone almost catatonic at the sight of X.

"Oh sorry. I just can't believe I'm finally meeting you."

"Are you here with Seri just so you can meet X? Because that's fucked up," Lennon tells him.

"Leave him alone," X says, and I could kiss him right now—and not just on the cheek like I've been doing.

* * *

"The sharks are circling," Scott says, coming over to stand with us. Ainsley's with him, so I look at Dustin, afraid he's going to pass out.

"Breathe," I whisper to him.

X just shrugs. "I knew they would talk. Let them."

"What's going on?" I ask, completely out of the loop.

"You've been eating in the caf with my man X every day, and I've even heard rumors about some hand holding."

"So?"

"So, you just showed up here with another guy while X came alone. Everyone who's wanted to take him down because they can't be him are now making jokes about him not being able to keep his woman," Ainsley says.

"What? And you knew it would happen?" I ask, looking to him with my eyes wide.

"It doesn't matter."

"The hell it doesn't. Answer the question."

Scott answers for him when he keeps his mouth closed. "It's why he didn't want to date you before tonight when he'd been planning to take Francesca. He knew you'd be subject to the same shit."

"Xav?"

"I can handle this. I don't care what they think about me. If I hear anything about you, I'll be going to jail tonight, but they can say whatever they want about me."

He says the words, but I don't believe them. He hasn't told me about his past, but sometimes he lets his guard down, and I see a scared little boy in his eyes.

"I didn't know."

"Would you have cancelled if I'd told you?"

"No," I say, hanging my head.

"This isn't what it seems like," Dustin tells him. "I'm going to set the record straight."

"What? No, Dustin."

I reach for his hand but he's already on his way to the stage. I lift the bottom of my dress and chase after him as fast as my heels will allow. I can't let him sacrifice his wish to help X and I save face.

He looks to me when he takes the stage, shaking his head. I want to plead with him, and tell him we don't need this, but I can see he's set on doing what he thinks is right. He's going to save us all when we can't save him.

X

I followed behind Seri at a slower pace, doing everything in my power not to cause more gossip to flow around us. When she stops, I move parallel to her and wait for her date to make whatever kind of proclamation she doesn't want him to make.

"Hi. I'm not sure if this is okay or if there's an order to people talking, but I have some things I need to say. First is that my name is Dustin and I'm dying."

"Shit," I say, as shocked as most of the crowd. Most, but not all.

Reina and Harlow join Seri, all with tears in their eyes. They knew, and it has something to do with why Seri's here with him. She's right—he shouldn't be up there doing this just to save my reputation. I move toward the stage, but he looks right at me and smiles, stopping me in my tracks.

"Reina got my name and asked me what I'd wish for if I could have anything. I told her I wanted to hang out with Xavier James, Scott Griffin, and Ainsley Taylor. I've always been a computer nerd and I know they're the best of the best. I thought I had a good chance since Reina knows them, but when she brought in Harlow, I knew it was going to happen.

"Then Seri came into the room. Reina called her in to check Xavier's schedule, but she offered me more. She offered to let me be her date tonight. It was a chance to hang out with these people I idolized and I also got to hang out with this cool woman who was more concerned about my wish than what she really wanted—who she really wanted to be with. I just want to thank Seri, Reina, and Harlow for making this happen. I asked them not to tell anyone but coming here made me realize I have nothing to hide. I don't want special treatment and I hope I can still have a conversation with the three people I admire most without it being weird."

I meet him as he steps off the stage, giving him a bro hug and telling him we're going to be hanging out more than just tonight. Scott and Ains agree, and by the time dinner starts, we've got definite plans made.

There's something _I'm_ wishing for and maybe I can take a chance and ask for it. I wait until everyone's busy with other conversations before leaning over to whisper in her ear.

"Seri, there's something I want to ask you and if you want to say no, you can."

"I know I always have that option with you."

"Always."

"What did you want to ask me?"

"Would you take one of those prom-like pictures over there with me?"

"Sure," she answers, waiting for me to say more.

She deserves it. "When I was a teen, I worked hard to be on both the football team and in the computer club. Girls thought it was cool to be with a nerdy jock, so I never had a shortage of dates until prom time. No one wants to go to prom with a guy who doesn't have access to a car, the money to hire a limo or take them to dinner, and would have to buy his suit at a thrift shop."

"Bitches."

"They were, but I don't blame them. Women want to be wooed and made to feel special and I couldn't do that with no money."

"Just so we're clear here—it's not the dinners and flowers you've been impressing me with this past week. It's the thought behind them, along with that awesome stick-figure drawing."

"I know. I'm more secure in my life now and even if I lost everything people think equates to success, if I had you and Micah I'd still be okay."

"Same. Now, tell me about the pictures."

"My Gram scrounged together the money one year for me to buy the tickets, rent a tux, and even buy dinner for a girl. Or so we both thought. The girl ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and I had no money left for pictures. She bought a package, but refused to give me any because she was pissed about me not paying. I couldn't tell my Gram what she gave me wasn't enough, so I just told her there was a problem with them. I'll never forget the look on her face when she realized she wouldn't have a picture of me all dressed up."

"Until that girl sold the prom pic to the tabloids."

Yeah, not my finest moment when I sent my lawyers after her ass for her "tell all" about our date. It pissed me off and I know it hurt my Gram. No one gets to hurt my Gram and walk away unscathed.

"Yes. I know she's seen it, but she's never mentioned it to me."

"Oh, Xav."

"I want her to have a formal picture of me with the woman who means everything to me."

"If I could go back in time, I'd find you at that Prom and push the bitch out of the picture before it got taken."

"Is that a yes?"

"It's a fuck yes, but we need a few accessories. I'll be right back."

# Chapter 13

Seri

I leave my table and find the one where Stella and Kevin are seated. She looks tired along with being very pregnant, but what I need should be easy for her. I tell them what I need and within minutes I have them in my hand. Candi Griffin is waiting in the hallway when I bring X out there with me.

"What's going on?"

"We need some pics of me pinning on your boutonniere, and you putting my corsage on my wrist."

"Seri."

"Hush now, before you make me cry for the boy who was better than anyone ever gave him a chance to be."

"I love you," he tells me as he slides the flowers I hand him onto my wrist.

I pin the boutonniere to his lapel before looking into his eyes. "I love you too."

And then, I place my hands on his shoulders and pull him down to kiss me. This is the first time we've kissed since that day when he said horrible things to me. He's told me part of the reason he doesn't trust, but I need to know it all. Not tonight, but before we can do anything more than kiss.

"Let's go take those formal pictures."

"Thank you."

"I'm going to get back to Owen, but I'll text you the pics Seri," Candi tells us.

"Oh, thank you. I'm sorry—I forgot you were there."

"That's when I get the best pictures."

"We appreciate it Candi," tells her.

"I expect to be your wedding photographer."

"Of course."

I smack him on the chest when she leaves. "I thought I could always say no."

"You can. When it comes to marrying me, I'll keep asking until you say yes. Anything else, one no is enough."

"I'm not sleeping with you tonight, no matter how charming and sexy you're being right now."

"I know. I'm more than happy with kisses and formal pictures."

"Then let's go take the pictures so we can kiss some more."

"Sounds like the perfect plan."

X

Two things happened today that spurred more things to happen, changing our lives in the best way possible—we got the printed Masquerade pictures and we buried a good man. Yeah, Dustin died after a valiant struggle with cancer. I was hoping some of the medicines Audrey, Caleb, Kalila, and Kenny were working on would save him, but even the Society isn't enough sometimes. The end came swiftly, but the two weeks we all had together was epic.

We played video games, talked coding, and ate great food. Sometimes Seri and other friends and family joined us, but sometimes it was just the four of us. I know Scott and Ains feel like I do, knowing we're better for having known Dustin even for a short time.

His family thanked us for spending time with him, but we told them there was nothing to thank us for. We didn't go to the house after the funeral because it was too raw for all of us. Seri's taking it especially hard, and she hasn't stopped crying since we walked into the church.

"What can I do?" I ask.

"Just hold me. I need you."

"You've got me."

She climbs onto my lap and clings to me as the limo I hired drives us home. I hold her tight, whispering to her about my love for her in between kissing her forehead and cheeks.

When we get home, I manage to get out of the car with her still in my arms, carrying her straight to my bedroom. She hasn't slept here again yet, but she doesn't try to stop me.

The pictures are in an envelope on my bed. She picks them up, smiling through her tears. "You have these for your Gram."

"And for us."

She pulls them out and bursts out laughing when we see one's already missing. "Looks like someone already took one."

"That boy."

"Is exactly what you want him to be. Mischievous, intelligent, caring, and just simply, the best."

"Yeah, he's awesome."

"Like his Daddy."

"And his Mommy."

"I'm ready, Xav."

I still, swallowing hard as I search her face for the truth. "You're sure?"

"I need you to make love to me. And then, I need you to tell me everything about before we met. I thought I had to have that first, but now I realize I just need to know. Before or after doesn't matter."

"If I really get a vote, I'm going to have to say 'after' is my choice."

"Why am I not surprised?" she asks, ridding me of my suit jacket and tie before taking off her dress.

I quickly shed the rest of what I'm wearing while she stands there in her black lace bra and boy shorts. "Because my hand should've already fallen off from all the workouts it's been getting."

"Poor hand, you're about to be retired for a little while," she says, picking it up and feathering kisses all over it.

"Little while?"

"You know I love to watch you get yourself off."

"Fuck."

"Soon. First I need to lick."

With that, she drops to her knees and rocks my world. Just like she's been doing ever since she yelled at me for not watching Micah the first time we met.

Once I've come down her throat, she kisses me while stroking me back to where she needs me to be. I should be participating more, but I'm letting this be her show—at least for the first time or two today. Round three is going to be all mine.

"What are you smiling about?" I ask as she climbs onto me and takes me all the way in.

"Thinking about how getting back on the saddle is probably not as good as getting back on your cock."

"Your mouth on my cock was divine, but your pussy on my cock is Heaven."

"It really is."

She's moving faster now, and I know she's chasing her orgasm. Sucking me off made her pussy wet and needy and I'm here for it. Seri's greedy pussy is going to get everything it needs.

Right now, it needs to be fucked. I grab her hips and slam into her hard. Her back arches and she reaches for her nipples. That's my woman.

"You're going to come hard and then I'm going to come even harder. Help me get you there, Seri. Pinch those nipples."

She grinds against me as I fuck up into her. "It's so good."

"Take it. Take what you need and coat my cock with all that cum I want to lick out of you later. I'm going to lick you until there's not a drop left while you suck me dry."

"Yes."

"You like it, don't you? Sixty-nine—or just sucking it out of me while I fuck your mouth."

"Either. Both. I love it."

"I know, Seri. I know just what you need."

I prove it by shifting a little and hitting her just where she needs it. She comes on a scream and I come with a roar. I'm never going to get enough of her and this, but right now, she needs the rest of what I promised and it's past time for me to give it to her.

# Chapter 14

Seri

This time, it's X I'm walking in with, while Harlow and his grandmother wait for us in her room. When she sees me, she holds out her arms to me and I hug her tight.

"I knew you'd give him the chance to prove his love."

"He hasn't made it easy."

"The best things in life aren't easy."

"I know."

"We brought you this," X tells her, handing her the double frame.

One side has a candid picture Candi took of us looking into each other's eyes as if there's no one else in the world. The other holds our formal picture.

"Thank you," she says, hugging it to her heart.

"I've owed you that for a long time."

"No. I gave you what I could and I'm so sorry it wasn't enough."

"It was more than enough, but I chose the wrong girl to take."

"Let's be honest, they all would've been the wrong one," Harlow says, and I think I love her even more than I already did.

"True."

"It's time," his grandmother says, patting the seat next to her.

He sits and I take a seat next to Harlow. When she places her hand over mine, I know what I'm going to hear is going to be hard. That's okay, because I've become used to working through hard.

"Our family were con artists— _are_ con artists. My parents died on a con and the rest of the family never got over it. They wanted my Gram to cast me onto the street, but she wouldn't. As a result, they cut off all support to her."

"Next time someone's at the security desk in the lobby, saying they're your family, I'm going to go down and punch them."

"Please call me so I can watch," Harlow says.

"I will."

"You can't hit them, because they will definitely sue."

"So?"

"We'll talk about this later."

That means he's going to try to sex me into agreeing with him. He can definitely try.

"I know there's more."

"Yeah. So, they left us with almost nothing. My Gram worked until she couldn't work anymore, making sure I could at least buy new clothes and shoes at the thrift shop. Harlow snuck us food when she could, and we managed. I already told you about high school, and you know about Micah's mom."

"Everyone you loved—or thought you loved—left you in some way except for the two women in this room with us."

"Yes."

"And you compared me to all of them. You said I was like them."

"I was angry."

"So was I, but I didn't say you were like the worst people I've ever known."

I close my eyes, because the room is spinning now. He may have said those things in anger, but there's a part of me that knows he meant them and it hurts. It hurts so fucking much, especially now that I know just how evil they are.

"Seri, look at me," he says, from where he's now kneeling on the floor in front of me.

"I can't."

"You can. Please."

I open my eyes and look into his. "I am not like them. At all. Even just a little bit."

"I know. I knew it that day, and it nearly killed me once I realized what I'd said to you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I wouldn't leave you if you didn't have money—or if you needed me."

"I know that too."

"What can I do to prove it to you?"

"You've proven it a million times, in a million little ways."

"Yes. You won't have to keep asking me when you're ready, because that will always be my answer."

"I'd ask you right now, but I promised Micah he could be there."

"I'm here," our boy says, running into the room. "Ask her Daddy."

He turns to his grandmother, and she holds out a velvet box to him. "This was my mother's ring. I don't know how my father got it and if you don't want it, I'll buy you anything from any jeweler in the world."

"I'd take a ring pop."

"Can I help eat the candy?" Micah asks.

"Well, duh."

X just shakes his head. "You two."

"Are the best. We know."

"You are, and I can't wait for you to be my wife."

When he opens the box, I see a gorgeous square diamond solitaire on a band studded with sapphires. I love it.

"You never sold this?" I ask his grandmother, knowing it has to be worth a lot of money.

"No. My son worked hard—in his own way—to buy the ring for his wife and I couldn't bear to part with it. I know it could've bought us more than we had, but we did okay."

"More than okay, Gram."

Micah bounces up and down looking between the two of us. "Put the ring on Mommy's finger before she changes her mind. My friends say their mommies change their mind a lot."

"I'm not going to change my mind, but please put the ring on my finger, Xav."

He does and then we're kissing. Kissing like no one's watching. Until our son pulls us apart to hug us both. I look at my guys and know I'm the luckiest woman in the world.

X

"Tell me again why we're hosting this weird-ass craft thing."

"Because I want to," Seri tells me, getting all the paints and shit spread out around our large kitchen island.

Perfect logic there, since she knows I'll deny her nothing. Plus, it could be worse—they could be invading my game room. I'd be locked in my room crying if that happened.

"Stop thinking so hard, Xav. I'd never take over the game room. I do need a she-shed though."

"I don't know what that is, but I'll have Ryan and Chloe get right on it."

"You're the best."

"Ditto."

"You're both so cute," Harlow tells me as she walks in, followed by Reina, Tegan, Jade, Ellie, Sierra, Neveah, Isa, Kali, and Rose.

Their guys are behind them, looking as confused about this as I am. When the guards tell me some women named Cyndy and Tyla are here, Seri yells out for me to let them in.

"This is some crazy shit, right?" Nate asks me an hour later.

We've seen Pop Funko figurines be beheaded and boiled. Xacto knives and paint are in play, and I know we're all glad those things aren't anatomically correct.

"Oh yeah, but who's going to tell them that?"

"Not me," Matt answers.

"Exactly."

"Ooh Seri, he's starting to look like D'Artagnan," Isa tells her.

"Thanks. Yours totally looks like Aramis."

"Whoa, wait," Jake says, stepping forward. Brave man. "Are you making these to look like that Musketeers show you're all obsessed with?"

"Of course."

"Musketeers, huh? You know the Studkateers are better," Theo says. Another brave man.

"Who are the Studkateers?" Cyndy asks.

"Us and our friends," I say, because I'm feeling a little brave right now too.

Tyla looks at us like we're insane and yeah, maybe we are sometimes. "Oh-kay."

"Come on, El. You know I'm sexier than any guy on TV."

"Stop it Aiden. My sister is not going to say you're sexy in front of me," Dylan insists.

"You're so sexy, Aid."

"Gross."

Seri smiles over to me. "I'll make one of you next, Xav."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she says as the other guys and girls all start talking at once.Aidan

Life really is the best when you let yourself love.

# Coming Soon

**T he Maids**

**Who we are:**

**An elite group of women who fill-in when a bride needs help. Maybe she wants an even number of bridesmaids, maybe she wants to add some glamour to her celebration, or maybe she's got something to hide.**

**We don't delve too deeply into the reasons these women hire us, but sometimes we have to deal with more than we bargained for. Good thing we're all former military, spies, and police officers—we can deal with anything a bridezilla, crazy relative, or philandering groom throws our way. And we'll do it in four-inch heels, with a smile on our face and our hair and make-up on point. Our boss Imani wouldn't expect anything less.**

**In our former jobs, we played down our femininity, blending in as best we could. Now, we embrace who we are and let ourselves shine, sparkle, and shimmer. While still blending in, of course—just in a different way. No upstaging the bride for us.**

**Where to find us:**

**We don't advertise, but we're hiding right in plain sight. If you're lucky, a friend of a friend of a friend will let you in on the secret. If not, we're sure you'll have a nice wedding anyway. After all, it's about the marriage and not the party, right?**

**We're too jaded for love and happily ever afters, but no judgement here. You'll get your money's worth with us, and we'll try not to roll our eyes too much at your choice of wedding color. Honestly, we'll try.**

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**_P eriwinkle in Portland is out February 8!_**

# Acknowledgments

**D ominique, and Gabi, I'm s0 proud to be your mom!**

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**H elen Williams, thanks for always making me the best covers**

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**W ander, love this pic!**

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**T o the readers—thanks for waiting for these two! You always stick by me and I appreciate it!**

# About the Author

Crystal Perkins has always been a big reader, but she never thought she would write her own book, until she sat down and did it one day. She lives in Las Vegas, where you can find her running author events when she isn't reading, buying too many Sherlock t-shirts and anything Wonder Woman, or finding a place to put all of her Pop! figurines. In 2016, she won the Creative Initiatives Award from Romantic Times for encouraging literacy, and also the Community Advocate Award from the Clark County School Librarians Association. A mac and cheese connoisseur, she travels the country looking for the perfect version, while attending book conventions and signings as a cover for her research. The Griffin Brothers, Corrigan & Co., and the Society Girls series are all international best sellers, and she's thankful to the readers who made that happen.

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Find her here:

www.crystalperkinsauthor.com

facebook.com/crystalperkinsauthor

@wondermomlv
