NXT hasn’t so much moved out of its parents
basement as build a bigger, better house where
its parents house used to be, moved its parents
into the attic and then its parents died in
the attic and NXT is really good is what I’m
trying to say, sorry about all that… death
stuff- point is, NXT is a proper independent,
if not dominant, brand now, which on the plus
side means that we might not ever have to
see Johnny Gargano covering a heel in mustard,
but on the bad side, NXT is now susceptible
to BRAND WARFARE.
Between Survivor Series and World’s Collide
WWE has started to lean into the whole ‘NXT
vs’ model for dream matches, and you know,
while you’re taking suggestions big Dubs,
I have some notes
It’s the top 10 NXT vs WWE Dream Matches
We’ve Yet To See
10.
KUSHIDA vs Andrade
Aka You’re Gonna See Some Serious Shit.
While it may not immediately appear that the
world’s most deadly back to the future fan
and Certifiable Sex Boy Andrade have much
in common, with Andrade hailing from CMLL
and KUSHIDA from New Japan, but they actually
have a small amount of history.
The two men have actually fought once before,
10 years ago in the Best of the Super Juniors.
Cut to 2020 and both men are at the peaks
of their game.
Thrown together again they could create something
truly extraordinary.
Both men have cardio for days and a strike-hold
style that carries more than a dash of lucha,
but what pushes this into dream match territory
is the raw technical psychology the men have
in spades.
Both are supremely intelligent wrestlers,
KUSHIDA has a savage ability at destroying
limbs and striking like an adder on a hoverboard,
and Andrade has subtly developed into the
most moustache twirling combat strategist
the main roster has to offer.
Cunning Death at High Speed is a tantalising
prospect and if you throw Angel Garza into
the mix then how much more sex boy can wrestling
even get?
9.
Undisputed Era vs Seth Rollins & Buddy Murphy
Aka The United States of Dickhead.
Or shit-eating grins the musical.
They’re bad boys with good legs, weak hearts
but strong knees, they’ll elbow you in the
face, steal your girl and slowly dip a finger
in your glass of wine the fucking monsters.
Despite their history of underhanded baggery,
The Undisputed Era are capable of playing
face, especially their ReDragon inner circle
and especially against Rollins and Company
in full arsemode.
Just the kicking though, think of the kicks.
Sure it’s not a full Ring Of Honour reunion
but hell Buddy Murphy has morphed from Morrisons
Omega into a pitbull genius capable of standing
with anyone from Adam Cole’s Alma mater.
The Undisputed Era are probably the best and
most cohesive faction in wrestling right now,
Seth Rollins is the paragon of WWE’s modern
style and Murphy has all the upsides in the
world and a chance to prove it.
Hell, why not throw the Authors of Pain into
the mix and go 4 on 4.
It might be Heel vs Heel but when the wrestlers
are this talent, bring on gang warfare.
8.
WALTER vs Drew McIntyre
Aka Thicc Dads.
I could really imagine it as the third Daddy’s
Home.
WALTER is the stern biological dad who just
wants you to eat your carrots and help him
paint his extensive collection of model tractors,
and Drew is the cool step-dad who’ll take
you laser tagging and then to a cock fight
. And they’re all going to holiday to the
beach and hey look, Mandy Patinkin’s in
this one, it’s nice to see him on the big
screen again.
If it feels like I’ve wasted most of this
entry, it’s because, well, what can you
say about Walter vs Drew.
They'd batter the deep-fried piss out of each
other.
The sheer number of slaps would create raw
chest energy that could power a Tesla model
3, not to mention the fact that both men are
disturbingly quick for their size.
Bellowing and violence and nothing in between.
7.
Io Shirai vs Asuka
Aka The Black Parade.
On swift wings come the angels of death, and
theirs is the fury.
Not only are Asuka and Io two of the most
wonderful nightmares in modern wrestling but
they have history going all the way back to
joshi promotion NEO.
They were part of a stable called Triple Tails
along with Io sister Mio, the more you know,
and both achieved superstardom in Japan before
making the jump to NXT, where both garnered
a huge fandom by being, basically, Murder
Bastards.
Io as the new unstoppable psychotic force
in WWE and Asuka having to reach down and
rediscover her terrifying mojo to avoid becoming
the Empress of Yesterday, that just makes
me so happy and scared.
But mostly happy.
But mostly scared.
6.
Keith Lee vs Brock Lesnar
Aka Chunkpocalypse.
Big boys.
Big beef.
Boy beef.
Beef Beef.
Over the years, I have had to come to terms
with the fact that I may be in love with Keith
Lee.
He has a frankly dangerous charisma, seems
to have a supernatural awareness of camera
placement to create the best spots possible
and he fucking POUNCED Adam Cole off camera
once and it was the greatest of all things.
Brock Lesnar is also a super special boy with
an entirely underrated amount of physical
charisma who is capable of throwing men into
deep space.
Lesnar and Lee’s encounter at the Rumble
was brief but brilliant and it was clear that
for all people claim that Brock doesn’t
care about putting over new talent, he gave
Lee the goddamn shine in that match.
Not only did he play up Keith’s size with
his facials and ‘OOH BIG BOY’ but he bumped
for him.
If WWE booked Lee vs Lesnar on PPV, Brock
would show up to WORK for that match.
They both possess incredible power, incredible
speed and the prospect of Lee countering an
F5 into a spirit bomb is just…
I can’t… but I must.
5.
Tommaso Ciampa vs Randy Orton
Aka Psycho Killers Qu’est Que C’est.
My elevator pitch: Step Up but instead of
dancing it’s mind games.
I guess this is more of a dream feud than
a dream match.
Orton’s pace may seem a little, shall we
say, methodical for an opponent like Ciampa,
but in terms of build, oh boy, a lot of peoples’
homes are going to get burned down in this
one.
We can all agree that both men have done their
best work as unpredictable, remorseless monsters
and I just want to put both of those gimmicks
in the same ring.
Randy will hit him with an RKO, then Ciampa
will kill Randy’s dogs.
Then Randy will leave Johnny Gargano’s head
in Tommaso’s bed, who will burn St Louis
Missouri to the ground and then make snow
ciampas in the ashes.
See, when Modern Day Randy really shows up
to work, there are few better on the mic or
at specific narrative setpieces and Ciampa
is Ciampa.
The Blackheart of Wrestling.
Not her.
I just want to see who has the best rope hung
DDT in wrestling.
Sure, Ciampa really spikes the top of the
dome, but like… it’s Vintage Randy Orton.
4.
Matt Riddle vs AJ Styles
Aka Fuck Your Leg.
I really did think about Riddle vs Goldberg
as there isn’t a man alive hornier for that
match than Riddle himself and that tends to
make special results.
But hear me out, I think Riddle Styles might
have it beat.
Sure Riddle Styles sounds like an awful reality
show on Challenge, but as a match-up it plays
to the strengths of both men.
Riddle will kick you until you lose a birthday,
and as we saw at Survivor Series 2017, Styles
does his best work against MMA freakazoids
who will snatch his Georgia ass up if he doesn’t
wrestle quick and smart.
While it’s possibly the least headline-grabbing
entry on the list, it almost books itself,
Styles doing his best to demolish Riddle’s
legs so that he can’t bring out his biggest
guns, Riddle using his terrifying Von Erich
fortitude to power through the pain and have
his knee become Wendy’s new husband.
3.
Shayna Baszler vs Sasha Banks
Aka Choke Incorporated.
Shayna Baszler is very brilliant, and even
though it's been a hot minute since we’ve
seen it, so is Sasha Banks.
Anyone remember Sasha vs Ronda?
Pepperidge Farm Remembers.
While Bazler is on a collision course with
Becky Lynch at Mania, surely it’s only a
matter of time before the frogiest horsewoman
inserts herself into Shayna’s business,
and can it be a submission match please?
That would be nice.
Not only do both women have a PhD in tapping
motherfuckers the fuck out, but this is the
kind of environment where Banks thrives.
Like a bully enraged at the sight of their
own blood, the Boss tends to lose her mind
and start wrestling like its her retirement
match when she’s up against someone who
can shoot hurt her.
On one hand, she starts cracking out the deeply
scary spots and oh god Sasha please don’t
die, but when a Sasha Banks match is cooking
I don’t think there’s a better big-match
wrestler in the women’s division.
Couple that with Baszler almost supernatural
badassery and I think we’re looking at something
really special.
Can it also happen at a Takeover please?
2.
Velveteen Dream vs The Fiend
Aka I don’t know but I want it.
Like, honestly… your guess is as good as
mine.
I’m trying to come up with a mood board
for it and I can feel my brain dribbling.
So, right, the brief for this match is, horny
clown horror.
Like, the really upscale erotic parody of
the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or if sexiness
gained sentience and then died and then was
brought back to life by bad science.
Ooh, no!
You know what Velveteen Dream vs The Fiend
exactly is.
The Batdance music video.
Every time I try to think about the booking
I’m stumped.
Solomon Grundy cornering Prince who has to
use sheer sex magicks to fuck his way out
of that mess.
We have to move on - OH GOD THE LIGHTING awe
have to move on
1.
Johnny Gargano vs Daniel Bryan
Aka 8 Stars.
Would Dave Meltzer die?
Are we ready for what work-stallions like
Gargano and Daniel Bryan could do if given
20 minutes and told to have fun?
I just want to be a room where both men sit
down and talk the match through.
When I think about Gargano’s ability to
thread together seamless chains of creative
offence and what would happen if he had the
medium’s greatest storyteller in Daniel
Bryan to temper some of his excesses and provide
a crystal clear psychological narrative, well
it just sounds like the best day.
The two have fought before, in a 30 minute
time limit draw in AIW and Johnny Gargano
has frequently gone on record to say that
Bryan is the greatest talent he ever wrestled
on the indies.
What more motivation to have Match of the
Century can you give someone who turns out
Takeover performances like Da Vinci turned
out scribbles.
If only one match on this list ever happened,
then Johnny Gargano vs Daniel Bryan on an
NXT Takeover would be it.
I am setting up a GoFundMe page to make it
happen.
Let’s do this.
