I don't know what to do, my subscribers are down.
My views are down.
How do I become relevant again?
[Background Voice] "You could make better videos you lazy bastard!"
OI!
Hold up a second, whats this?
Overwatch loot crate unboxing?
Muselk: What's going on guys, AND welcome to the Overwatch uprising (screaming)
Pyro: of course.
Now I know, what must be done.
(Dramatically puts Roadhog mask on)
*when your mum calls you down for spaghetti-Os but you wanted mac n cheese*
(muffled) So as many of you know, Blizzard have bought out a new set of crates, in Overwatch.
Normally I wouldn't care..
I still don't care.
So im just gonna go ahead and buy... uhh, how many they buy, like 101 or some shit?
Wait what the fuck? That cost actual money? I ain't spending no money Nigga.
Mum?
I uhh...
I need your credit card
I have obtained the credit card!
so uhh wait, how do these Overwatch channels, how do they do an intro to this?
( In a bad Muselk impression) How is it fucking going cunts? fuckin shrimp on the barbie here. im australian like all of the fuckin overwatch cunts, woo got a fuckin loot crate.
OH MAI GOHD!
It's Roadhog!
(Excited man having organism)
I'm not gonna be like this the entire video, im gonna run out of energy in about 30 seconds.
This is low-quality content at it's finest.
Lets open up another one and see how that does.
Oh, a gold! nice! lets see what we got.
Oh, is it? oh, its another duplicate!
(Dies)
I lo- I Love duplicates!
I just smashed my fuckin mouse.
Lets open up another one!
Wuh?
WOOOOOA, what'd we get?!?!?!
We got, uhh duplicates!
*FULLY GROWN LESBIAN HAS AN ACTUAL LITERAL MENTAL BREAKDOWN (MUST SEE)*
Fuckin loot again, yea?
Oh! Got a blue!
uuh
I cant even fuckin' see.
There is NO ventilation in this mask, I can't see a thing.
It's probably a legendary skin.
I dont know, you guys can tell me in the comments.
Oh, is this more blues?
All I'm getting is- All I'm getting is duplicates.
All I'm getting is duplicates.
Lets open it again, see what we get.
Hopefully it'll be something good.
Oh, purple.
Is it a duplicate? its actually not a duplicate
It's uhh...
It's press ups!
You know press ups uh you know the thing you do...
To not be fat like me?
Uh I dunno wher- I dunno where this video's going I'm gonna be honest guys.
Oh look another purple... great. Uhm, money. I love money, YouTube money.
How much?
150 MAH.
Nigga that's like...
You know how much a legendary skin costs now?
That's... Garbage.
Uh let's open up another one.
Uh.
See what we got in this one.
Oh! I got a legendary.
What is- is this a duplicate.
No it's not a duplicate but it's a Mei skin uh...
[Untranslatable stuttering.]
Is- is that good?
Yeah.
Go on then.
Ya bitch.
I'll equip that.
Ya not having anything else from me. Stop coming to my house asking for money
R.I.P transcriber Crafty
[Transcriber Destikohs is now here]
Oh, wow, all blues.
No one gives a shit.
I ne- (hits desk)
(In a triggered voice)I need yellow for the thumbnail!
Do you not understand, Overwatch?
I need
gold
For the thumbnail.
If I don't get gold.
No one is gonna click on- I mean-
No one is gonna click on this video anyway, but y-you know.
Right, please be a gold
Please, I'm begging you.
Blue
Blues...
How much is that?
That's 50
that's even less then-
O-Oh my God
Oh my God, I'm already having fucking withdrawal.
I think the worst thing is
this video will make just enough revenue
Uh, to cover the actual price of these fuckin' cases
So who wins in the end?
Not me.
Blizzard.
Oh, purple
Well, unfortunetaly, purple isn't- isn't thumbnail worthy
Have you seen Muselk
With his y-yellows?
You know what I should do aswell?
I-I'm gonna put myself
At the bottom left of the thumbnail
Like what Muselk does.
You know when he looks like an excited little faggot
He's kinda like this
lu lu lu lu.
He's like this.
[lol end me fam]
It's like he's been told he doesn't have aids
Oh, I got another Roadhog skin, nice.
I gotta be honest
I think I only bought this game for roadhog
Oh my voice is breakin', oh my God
[Thumbnail moment m8]
Oh, OH! THUMBNAIL! THUMBNAIL! Thumbnail! Thumbnail!
[There it is x3]
[We did it! x2]
I'm memeing alot, bu-but that's a nice skin
I mean
Mercy you're a...
[Re-thinks life]
I need to catch my fuckin' breath
Mercy, you're a good girl, alright?
You're a good girl.
Uh...
Roadhog is better.
In every single way.
But, yo-you a close 2nd
Ya-ya feel me?
Yeah, fuck off with ye-
How many is that?
150?
You could give me like a thousand coins.
So, I don't want no 150 nigga
Alright, let's open another one.
See what we get.
Oh great
Pur-NOPE nope
Get out
I don't like D.VA
Get out
Nananananana [batman]
Uh, SKIP
Unless it's all gold
I ain't interested
Ya dig?
Wus this?
Uh, Hanzo...?
[Where the hell did the other captioners go? Oh well I'm here now]
Hanzo Hanzo Bastion [what why is he saying this]
Hacked!
Hacked are you ser- Okay. So now I can- now I can boast that I'm a hacker in game.
Uh... kill me.
(Reading lobby chat) Do a- Do a gold weapon vid.
Alright, let's open up another case. I'm starting to get, uh, severely dehydrated wearing this mask
Uh, there are no- there are no air holes in this mask
[points to mask]
This- this is all just cardboard
We got 78 left to open? I'm about to pass out now nigga (inaudible)
How the fuck- How does Muselk...
How does Muselk and Zylbrad keep talking this long?
[Muselk talking about a new hero but nobody fucking cares]
Guys, open up this one and see if it's a gold.
Piss off!
I ain't even lookin' - nope skip skip skip skip skip
If it ain't gold or purple, I ain't lookin'
Oh we do got a purple
I bet it's a duplicate
