To Catch A Spinster
The Reluctant Bride Collection, Volume One
Written by Megan Bryce
Narrated by Maureen Cavanaugh
Prologue
Miss Olivia Blakesley watched as her youngest
sister was married and thought, “That does
it, old girl.
You are officially on the shelf.”
Truthfully, she wasn’t quite yet.
But at the ripe old age of seven and twenty,
with two older sisters and three younger sisters
all married, she was close enough.
What man would want the sister who had been
left behind?
More importantly, why would she want the man
who would want her?
She wouldn’t.
So it was a good thing she had her studies
and responsibilities.
She was fairly certain she would have gone
stark raving mad these last eight years waiting
for a suitor who would never come if she hadn’t
started studying the stars or helping her
father with the accounts.
Not exactly respectable activities for a gentle
young woman, but she enjoyed them.
Her mother blamed those activities for her
current matrimonial-less state.
What woman would rather sneak outside to paint
stars than flirt with a beau?
What woman who was at least pretending she
wanted to get married would wear those high-necked,
front-buttoned, somber-colored old maid rags?
Olivia handed her mother, who sat sniffling
in the pew beside her, a clean handkerchief.
“Thank you, Olivia.
I can always count on your handkerchief to
be dry at weddings, can’t I?
I don’t understand how you can be so emotionless.”
“I’m not emotionless, and you should be
grateful as you now have two handkerchiefs
to drench.”
Olivia’s father winked at her as he patted
his wife’s hand.
“It’s not as if this wedding was a surprise,
my dear.”
No, Eugenia had been promising that she would
be snatched up the quickest since Prudence
had taken nearly two years in the marriage
mart.
Eugenia had lasted a mere two months.
The Blakesley sisters were nothing if not
goal-oriented.
Olivia had her own goals and, unfortunately
for her mother, they did not include catching
a husband.
Even so, she did not want to die inexperienced
in love, estranged from her sisters because
they knew something she didn’t.
Lust.
She did not want to die a virgin spinster
aunt, caring for her aging parents.
It would be much better if she could die an
experienced spinster aunt, caring for her
aging parents.
She glanced at the cross hanging above the
vicar’s head.
Dear Lord, what was she considering?
Was she really thinking of…
No.
It was a sin.
And she was in a church, for heaven’s sake.
But as her father was wont to say: In the
course of life, some commandments must be
broken.
For emergencies.
For science.
Thou shalt not kill.
Definitely one to be broken in an emergency.
Thou shalt not worship any graven images.
A few might say that Olivia worshiped her
Dutch-made telescope.
For science, of course.
Honor thy father and mother.
She had never been any good at that one.
Thou shalt not commit adultery…
Well, she just wouldn’t choose a married
man.
This was, after all, a scientific emergency.
She was not going to die an old maid.
Olivia looked back at the altar.
Her beautiful sister in her lace-trimmed ivory
satin wedding gown beamed at her new husband,
who looked down at her with obvious love and
a little bit of panic.
Olivia would never have that.
She would never fall in love.
Never have someone to depend on– only herself.
She nodded.
So be it.
If she could not have everything, she would
have something.
If she could not have love, she would have
lust.
She would find someone to teach her desire.
Amen.
Chapter One
Mr. Nathaniel Jenkins had never wanted to
dunk himself in the punch bowl and drown himself
more than he did at that moment.
The young lady before him was slowly turning
his brain to mush and he was afraid it would
start dribbling out his ears at any moment.
“And then I told the seamstress I wanted
six ruffles.
Three on the bodice and three on the hem.”
Of course, if it gave him an excuse to leave
he wouldn’t mind a little dribbling.
He glanced at his mother, who wasn’t even
trying to hide her scowl, and decided not
even that could get him out of this evening.
Nathaniel sighed into his glass.
What he needed was something a little stronger
than punch.
He took a small sip and sighed again.
What he really needed was a mother who left
him alone.
The woman had four grandchildren already,
wasn’t that enough?
If her expression was anything to go by, no.
“I had to pay nearly double.
Outrageous.”
The young lady fingered a ruffle on her bodice
and smiled coyly.
“But it was worth it, don’t you think?”
She looked like she would fly away in a stiff
breeze but Nathaniel nodded.
“You look quite…lovely.”
Her next dance partner came to relieve him
and Nathaniel downed the rest of his punch
in relief.
He had done his duty, now he might be able
to make his escape.
His mother slipped up beside him.
“Nathaniel, really.
You were quite rude, you hardly said a word
to Miss Mayes.”
“I could hardly get a word in, Mother.
She did allow me to compliment her, though.”
“Hmmph.
Can you not try to like these girls?
You need a wife, Nathaniel.
You are the head of this family now and you
need an heir.”
“I already have one.
Diana’s son is my heir.”
“No matter how much we love Matthew, a nephew
is not an acceptable heir.
I do not understand how you can be so thick-headed
about this.”
He knew his duty.
Marry a young girl from a respectable family
and father an heir.
But he could not find it in himself to marry
any of these empty-headed, brightly-colored
chatterboxes.
They looked like they should still be in the
nursery.
As for bedding one?
Unless he could glue their mouths shut, it
seemed impossible.
Perhaps he was too old.
At thirty-nine, an eighteen-year-old girl
seemed as foreign as a sunny day in February.
Or perhaps he was too young.
In another ten years he might jump at the
chance to marry a young chit with her hair
in braids.
All he knew was he couldn’t do it now.
And if all he was being offered were these
girls, he would not be getting married.
“Mother, if you really have a desire to
see me married, I would suggest finding girls
a little older.
And quieter.
And not so…frilly.”
“You are a bigger stick-in-the-mud than
your father.”
“It is the custom nowadays for new heirs
to outdo their father in some way.
How gratifying to know I’ve achieved it.”
She tapped his arm lightly with her fan.
“Perhaps I could ask your sister to look
around.”
Nathaniel groaned.
“Diana pops around with her unsuspecting
friends enough as it is.”
“I doubt her friends are quite as unsuspecting
as you think.
You’re quite the catch, if I do say so myself.”
“Just what a man wants to hear from his
mother.”
She nodded decisively.
“It’s true, nonetheless.
You have a stable fortune, good relations,
and, if not a title, then land.”
“I feel like a prize stallion.”
“Don’t be so melodramatic, dear.
Even the lowliest stable-boy will find a mate.
So should you.”
His gaze slid slowly over the crowd.
“It seems that a lowly stable-boy would
have more choice than I.”
His mother waved her hand impatiently.
“There are as many different girls as there
are fish in the sea.”
“They seem to be all the same species to
me, Mother.”
“Hmm.
Well, we’ll just have to find one that’s
a little different.”
Nathaniel watched her inspect the girls nearest
to her and bit back a laugh.
“Good luck to you.
Until then I’ll be at my club.”
Mrs. Anne Jenkins smiled up at her son, slipping
her arm through his.
“I don’t think you’ll find any suitable
girls at your club.
Besides, you agreed to take me home tonight.
I see you so little as it is.”
“This would be so much easier if you would
just arrange it all for me.”
“I would, dear, if you’d let me.
But you have so many requirements for a wife.”
“I have three: not young, not chatty, not
frilly.
It’s not as if I’m being uncooperative.”
Mrs. Jenkins looked at the sea of young, chatty,
frilly girls and patted his arm.
“Well, I’m sure I’ll find someone for
you.”
She let out a long breath.
“Hopefully.”
Olivia had been studying the men at the ball
since she arrived.
Since her sister’s wedding she had done
nothing but imagine the perfect seducer.
Tall, but not too tall.
Handsome, but not diabolically so.
Experienced, but not a rake.
Good Lord, definitely not a rake.
She did have a reputation to preserve.
To be seen with a libertine would embarrass
herself and her family.
She would like a gentle introduction, not
a dunk in a cold pond.
He would need to be a gentle man, but not
that gentle since he would have to seduce
her.
Obviously, not married.
And above all, the very most important trait
he would need to possess would be discretion.
He could not tell anyone.
Ever.
The list she’d made for a husband had not
been this long.
It really was no wonder she hadn’t found
anyone yet.
She’d been searching for a husband eight
years and that task was beginning to sound
like a walk in the park compared to this.
The only gentleman she hadn’t dismissed
outright was the one in the corner who looked
like he wanted to poke his eyes out.
She’d spoken to his companion a few times
herself and understood the feeling.
That unfortunate shade of orange didn’t
help the girl either.
But while Miss Mayes might look supremely
silly, he looked quite responsible.
Mature.
Stoic in the face of adversity.
Tight-lipped.
He did not look the sort to tell tales at
all.
He did look a bit tall but she supposed lying
down it wouldn’t matter.
His dark brown hair was a bit longer than
fashion dictated but as it was slightly curly,
she approved.
Her own stick-straight hair refused to curl,
even with tongs.
His form was pleasing.
Firm thighs, wide shoulders.
Quite manly, actually.
Hmm.
Olivia leaned toward her younger sister, Mary.
Not only was she Olivia’s closest sister,
but she also had a knack for knowing interesting
tidbits about nearly everyone.
“Do you know who the gentleman in the far
corner is?”
Mary looked discreetly.
“Mr. Nathaniel Jenkins, the only son of
Mrs. Anne Jenkins.
Her husband died almost two years ago and
Mr. Jenkins has still not taken a bride.”
“If she insists on him talking to silly
young girls with too many flounces, it’s
no wonder.
I would like to be introduced to him.”
“Olivia, really!”
“Could you find your husband, Mary?”
“You are being quite forward.”
Olivia sipped her punch.
Yes, indeed she was.
The season was nearly half over and this was
her last one– no matter what her mother
said.
Olivia said, “Time is running out.”
“Oh, well, yes.
I see what you mean.
I’ll go find him.”
Olivia smiled slightly.
“Thank you.
That would be most helpful.”
Olivia watched as Mary wound her way to Rufus.
He smiled at his wife and for once in her
life Olivia envied one of her sisters.
With his quick charm, ready laughter, and
silly pranks, Rufus was her favorite brother-in-law.
He was rarely serious and had been in love
with Mary for longer than anyone could remember.
They were a good match, but then they’d
lived next door to each other since birth.
They’d been married at eighteen.
If Olivia could have chosen her fate, that
would have been it.
Best friend and lover, rolled into one.
Rufus looked in surprise at Olivia, then winked.
She sighed and shook her head.
Of course, she much preferred Rufus as a brother-in-law
than as a husband.
She’d be much too tempted to smack him if
he was her husband.
Nathaniel nodded as Rufus Eliot hailed him.
Though Eliot was part of the younger set,
they were acquainted through their club.
A likable enough fellow, if one wasn’t too
concerned about being the butt of a good joke.
Nathaniel wondered briefly if he was the entertainment
or if he should warn the unfortunate woman
accompanying Eliot.
Eliot gestured to the woman.
“Mr. Jenkins.
May I introduce my sister-in-law, Miss Blakesley.”
“Miss Blakesley.”
Nathaniel could not help but stare at poor
Miss Blakesley.
If ever the word spinster applied more he’d
not met the woman.
Here was a paragon of womanly failure.
Her hair was pinned back in a widow’s knot
and she was dressed in hideous brown bombazine
with buttons clear to her neck.
She looked quite capable of taking a swatch
to his backside for any impropriety.
She caught his eye and he couldn’t help
but feel that she was laughing at his perusal
of her dress.
She said, “I prefer orange myself but it
is so hard to find nowadays.”
Nathaniel glanced to his right and saw no
fewer than four orange dresses.
He said, “Oh, yes.
Fashion.”
A small smile lifted the corners of her mouth.
Her eyes flicked down, taking in his conventional
evening wear.
Not out of date, but definitely not in fashion.
Nathaniel preferred clothing that would be
in style for more than a season, preferably
a decade.
Miss Blakesley seemed to prefer clothing that
would never be in style.
One would save money, at least.
Rufus Eliot said, “Do you by any chance
study the stars, Jenkins?
It is Miss Blakesley’s passion.”
Knowing his duty, Nathaniel turned to her.
“I am sorry to say I do not.
What is it about the stars you enjoy, Miss
Blakesley?”
“I can study them in peace and they always
wear the same thing.
Do you have a passion, Mr. Jenkins?”
“I have not had the luxury of late but I
do enjoy fishing.”
Rufus Eliot smiled.
“A country man.”
Nathaniel nodded.
“I prefer it.
There are more fish there.”
Miss Blakesley nodded.
“And better smelling rivers.”
“It does increase the pleasure somewhat.”
She laughed.
“Indeed.
I find London terrible for star-gazing.
It must be even less suited for fishing.”
“I will admit that the thought of spending
the day near the edge of the Thames leaves
me quite cold.”
Nathaniel looked into her sparkling eyes and
was interested despite himself.
“Do you continue your star-gazing while
in town, Miss Blakesley?”
She nodded.
“It is a dismal business here but I keep
up the habit.
I have sketch after sketch of fog.”
He smiled.
“Do you find fog just as fascinating?”
“Not in the least.
It is too transitory for my liking.”
She cocked her head.
“Somewhat like fashion, actually.”
A laugh escaped him.
Miss Blakesley smiled back at him, then flicked
her eyes behind him and sighed.
“It was nice to meet you, Mr. Jenkins.
But my mother has spotted me and I fear neither
one of us is safe.
Once one reaches a certain age, one becomes
a mother’s pet project.”
“I’ve noticed the phenomenon myself.”
“Have you?
Then I feel for you, Mr. Jenkins.
If you’ll excuse me.”
“Certainly, Miss Blakesley.
Eliot.”
Nathaniel watched her walk quickly towards
the other end of the room and thought he had
never met a more curious woman.
Mary fluttered her fan.
“Well?”
“I only spoke two sentences to him before
Mama noticed and started making her way towards
us.”
“So?
What did he say in those two sentences?”
“He likes the country and fishing.
But does not care much for the stars.”
“Who does, besides you?
If that is what you are waiting for in a husband
then you will die a spinster.”
Olivia shook her head.
“He does not need to share my passions.
I simply wanted to take a measure of his character.”
Rufus nodded towards the door.
“He does not seem to like having his character
measured.
He’s leaving.”
Mary said, “Perhaps he is being a dutiful
son and taking his mother home.
That is Mrs. Jenkins he is escorting.”
Olivia glanced quickly at the departing Mr.
Jenkins.
“Well, my two sentences with him did not
gain me much information.
There must be a better way of learning about
a gentleman.”
Mary smiled knowingly.
“Perhaps Rufus can make some inquiries.
Dear, can you find out if Mr. Jenkins would
make a suitable brother-in-law?”
Olivia frowned.
“Don’t say anything so foolish in front
of Mama.
I will never hear the end of it.”
She looked at Rufus.
“Could you?
Discreetly.”
He winked theatrically.
“Leave it to me, Sis.”
“I am doomed,” Olivia said and began to
lecture on the constellations as her mother
swooped in with hope in her eyes.
Nathaniel helped his mother into the carriage
wishing he could escape to his club.
His mother would want to rehash the last hour,
lady by lady.
He wished, not for the first time, that he
was not such a dutiful son.
She said, “Who was the woman you were talking
to right before we left?”
“Miss Blakesley.
Her brother-in-law and I belong to the same
club.”
“She’s a little older, isn’t she?”
“A bit, though I wouldn’t say thirty.
Should I warn her that you are getting desperate
to marry me off to anyone not in braids?”
“I should think if she was nearing thirty
I would need to warn you.
I doubt the desperation I feel can compare
to hers.”
Nathaniel grunted, and for an instant felt
sympathy for the poor woman.
If her mother was anything like his, she must
indeed be feeling desperate.
He at least did not live under the same roof
and could retire in peace, far away from her
anxious schemings.
In truth though, Miss Blakesley had not seemed
desperate.
Interested, certainly.
But also curious.
She was not indelicate about her scrutiny
but he felt it nonetheless.
As an eligible bachelor, he had been appraised
before.
And as much as he did not appreciate the experience,
he understood it.
What woman would want to give her life and
love to someone she did not know?
However, Miss Blakesley’s scrutiny had been
different.
He, for once, had not felt like she was calculating
his fortune but instead felt she was sincerely
interested in knowing him.
She was definitely not your average young
chit.
His mother smiled and gazed out the window.
“She didn’t seem quite as talkative as
the other girls.
You at least had conversation with her.”
He nodded.
“About fishing the Thames.
And sketching the stars in London.”
His mother blinked.
“Well, that is certainly a different kind
of conversation then what you are used to.”
She paused.
“She’s not young, and certainly not frilly.
Perhaps we’ve found a different species
of fish, after all.
Would you call her chatty?”
Nathaniel groaned and leaned his head back.
His mother smiled, and wondered about Miss
Blakesley.
Chapter Two
Miss Olivia Blakesley had made up her mind.
After a few sleepless nights and a little
sip from her father’s brandy.
Awful stuff.
Rufus had come back with an all clear on Mr.
Jenkins.
She wasn’t going to give a stranger the
keys to her family’s downfall unless she
was sure he wouldn’t use them.
One could never be sure but it appeared as
if he wouldn’t.
Mary, of course, had told everyone of her
interest.
They kept humming the wedding march under
their breath whenever her mother was out of
earshot.
Olivia had no interest in telling them her
real plans for Mr. Nathaniel Jenkins.
She was going to seduce him.
Or rather, have him seduce her.
She wasn’t at all sure how to go about it,
her education so far teaching her how not
to be seduced.
And, she might add, she had been led to believe
it would be a difficult task.
Men apparently not being able to control their
baser instincts.
But Olivia had never been accosted.
Not once.
No suitor had ever tried to dally in a darkened
corner, offer her a stroll in a deserted garden,
or taken advantage of an accidental meeting.
She was starting to think the voracious appetites
of the male species to be an exaggeration.
Perhaps she should have chosen a rake after
all.
If all else failed, she could always lower
her standards.
She spotted Mr. Jenkins on the dance floor,
twirling another entirely too young woman
in a decadent waltz.
The Donner’s Ball was quite the smash, despite
a few disapproving looks for the choice of
dance.
It was a bit crowded but Olivia hoped to take
advantage of that.
Sometime tonight she was going to corner Mr.
Jenkins and proposition him.
She smoothed her skirt in a sudden nervous
spurt of energy.
If she was wrong about his character she would
be a ruined old spinster by tomorrow morning.
On the bright side, it might be easier to
catch a rake if she was ruined.
On the dark side, she might be the laughing-stock
of the ton.
Oh, wouldn’t that be wonderful.
Well, nothing for it.
All she had to lose was her reputation.
Self-respect.
Trust of her family.
Dear God, I’m a hoyden, she thought and
went to position herself for an accidental
encounter.
Nathaniel didn’t know what was worse, being
twittered at by a brainless child or stared
at without pause.
He’d at least had experience with brainless
chatter.
And she wasn’t even flirting!
Miss Blakesley simply stared.
No coy smiles, silly fan work, fluttering
lashes.
Just watching him– sizing him up, he couldn’t
help but feel.
He wondered if she found him lacking.
Was there something on his nose?
His cravat in ruins?
Surely his mother would have rushed over to
save herself the embarrassment.
He excused himself from his partner, thankful
that tonight there were men enough as dancing
partners.
He had done his duty; his mother could not
fault him tonight.
Although, unless he introduced her to a new
bride this evening, she would anyway.
Perhaps he would make his escape and leave
his sister and brother-in-law to escort her
home.
“Mr. Jenkins?
Please excuse me for intruding on your thoughts.”
He turned and found Miss Blakesley inches
from him, staring.
“Miss Blakesley, forgive me.
I did not see you in the crush.”
She smiled slightly.
“I do apologize.
You looked quite ready to leave and there
is a…a small matter I wish to discuss with
you.”
He nodded, looking down at her.
Up close, she was prettier than he remembered–
in a serious, studious way.
From afar she looked ready to battle the world.
But to his surprise he towered over her; her
personality loomed much larger than her small
frame.
And her all-seeing eyes were a pale shade
of blue.
“Shall we dance, Miss Blakesley?”
She looked at the dance floor longingly, then
shook herself.
“I would like that, Mr. Jenkins.
However, the matter I wish to discuss is a
bit private.”
Private?
Was the girl trying to catch him?
Being seen together in a compromising situation
would certainly speed things along.
He said, “I’m afraid there is not much
privacy offered tonight.
A waltz may be the closest we can get.”
“A waltz?
Oh, yes.
Well, perhaps that would work.
Shall we?”
Nathaniel grinned down at her, offering his
arm.
“Why, thank you.”
Miss Blakesley blushed, taking his arm.
What was she up to?
No gently bred lady had ever tracked him across
a ball before, nor wished to speak to him
in private.
Or stared at him with icy blue eyes, making
him feel like an open book.
He led her once around the floor, noticing
the rigid corset under her dress.
He said, “What was it you wished to speak
about?”
Miss Blakesley cleared her throat and looked
over his shoulder.
“I want to assure you that I am in earnest.
I can only imagine what you will think, but
I…
I would like you to seduce me.”
Nathaniel missed a step and tripped over her
foot.
A blush rose again to her cheeks.
“Perhaps waltzing wasn’t a good idea.”
He was silent while he tried to think of an
appropriate response.
Had she really just asked him to seduce her?
She glanced at him, her cheeks glowing, and
he decided she had.
“Are you completely mad?”
She glanced at him quickly, then continued
to stare over his shoulder.
“No.
I’m inexperienced and wish to change that.
I had hoped you could help me.”
“I hesitate to ask why out of all the men
of your acquaintance you have chosen me to
relieve you of your inexperience.”
“You are not a rake.”
“No?”
“No.
Having been through eight seasons I assure
you I can spot the type.”
He couldn’t stop his eyebrows from raising
at her frank admission of eight seasons.
He didn’t know how old his mother was and
his sister wouldn’t admit to any age.
“Miss Blakesley, this is absurd.
Even if I were a rake, I could not…assist
you.”
The waltz ended and Nathaniel escorted her
off the floor.
She gripped his arm.
“Teach me the acts of seduction, Mr. Jenkins.”
He steered her to a blissfully empty corner
and sat her in a chair rather abruptly.
“I don’t think you know what you’re
asking,” he said, taking another chair as
far from her as possible and still be in the
conversation.
“I assure you I do.
But all my knowledge is second-hand.
I would like to experience it myself.”
Nathaniel muttered a curse word not intended
for polite ears and crossed his legs.
Simply talking about the subject in a most
clinical way he was tempted to haul Miss Blakesley
out of her chair and ravish her senseless.
She wanted him to seduce her!
What was the world coming to.
“Miss Blakesley, this is highly irregular,
and very definitely immoral.
I must advise you to do as every other woman
and find yourself a husband.
You are a gently bred lady with a good reputation.”
“And I am seven and twenty.
Far too old to ‘find myself a husband’.”
“You are not so old; I would not have guessed
a day past twenty-five.”
One of her elegantly cynical eyebrows raised.
“Fine.
Would you marry me?”
Nathaniel pushed himself back in his chair.
“Me?
Miss Blakesley…”
“Exactly.
I am too old and too set in my ways, with
far too many freedoms–”
Nathaniel muttered, “Amen to that.”
“–to make a good wife, and I doubt I would
enjoy a husband.
I would enjoy a lover though.”
She studied him a bit, eyeing his polished
boots, the breeches molding his thighs, his
hands clasped in his lap.
“I would enjoy you.”
Nathaniel cleared his throat.
“Miss Blakesley, I still can’t help but
think you don’t know what you are asking,
else you wouldn’t be asking a practical
stranger.”
“It would be perfectly acceptable to marry
you after such a short time.
I don’t see how this is any different.”
What logic.
If she couldn’t tell the difference between
marriage and what she was suggesting there
was no hope he could point it out.
She said, “I’m willing to pay you.”
His mouth fell open.
“Pardon?”
“I have access to the money saved for my
dowry.
I’m not willing to part with all of it,
since you won’t be marrying me, but I’ll
be able to pay what you think is fair.”
Nathaniel felt his face go red.
“You want to pay me?
I am not a damn prostitute!”
Miss Blakesley blinked, then coughed discreetly.
“I had not thought of it like that.
Male prostitution?
Would I call you a gentleman of the night?”
She chuckled and the low sound sent a chill
down his spine.
He said, “You belong in Bedlam.”
She chuckled again.
“I did not mean you would be a prostitute.
I would like you to seduce me, woo me, not
just…you know.”
“You want to pay me to woo you.”
“Yes.
This is my one chance; I think I should have
it all.
I would like to be courted.
You can come calling, dance with me, escort
me to the opera.
My sisters were never so happy as when they
were being pursued.
I would like the same.”
“And then presumably after I have wooed
and won you, I would seduce you, and then
jilt you in the eyes of the ton when I never
see you again.”
Miss Blakesley tipped her head.
“I know it will cause a very minor stir
but I will take the blame.
I have no one to impress, while one day you
will have to take a wife.”
She leaned forward, her expression thoughtful.
“I would suggest girls a little older.
Not too old, but not ones right out of the
nursery.
You seem to need a little heavier conversation
than they can provide.
Just a thought.”
“Thank you for the advice, Miss Blakesley.”
“You’re welcome.
Now where were we?”
“You were turning me into a rake.”
“I wasn’t!”
Nathaniel said, “That is what it sounds
like to me.
I court you, make you fall in love with me,
take your innocence, and leave you.
I can’t think of a better definition than
that.
Perhaps you should find a man with more experience
with that than I.”
She stared at him, her forehead wrinkled in
consternation.
“But I specifically do not want a rake.
I do have my reputation to consider and I
don’t want even a breath of scandal surrounding
my family.
Surely no one would think that you had compromised
me.”
“I hesitate to ask what you mean by that.”
“Well…
I mean…
You seem quite…
Oh, dear.
I didn’t mean to attack your virility.”
Nathaniel guffawed.
“I didn’t know you were attacking my virility.”
“I just meant you have a reputation yourself.
You never let your passions overwhelm you.
You don’t drink or gamble to excess and
you are quite discreet with your…lovers.”
He stared at her.
Where this woman got her ideas and information
from he didn’t know, but she had to be the
most informed woman in the ton.
Miss Blakesley smiled a little at him.
“I do have five brothers-in-law, Mr. Jenkins.
I usually can wheedle what I need out of them.”
“And I assume you have their blessings for
this insane scheme of yours?”
“They all agree you are excellent husband
material so I will have to assume you are
excellent seducer material as well.”
Nathaniel rubbed his forehead, thinking her
circular arguments would land him in Bedlam
as well.
“Miss Blakesley, I must admit that though
I am intrigued by your proposition, I must
decline.
My honor would not allow me to compromise
you in such a fashion.”
Her shoulders seemed to sag a little but she
rallied quickly.
“Of course.
I do understand, Mr. Jenkins.
Your refusal tells me I was right about your
character.”
She smiled wryly.
“I shall have to find someone with not so
many morals.
Could you recommend any other gentleman of
your acquaintance?”
He stood sharply.
“Certainly not.
This entire affair is a foolish idea.
Find yourself a husband.”
Miss Blakesley stood as well.
“As I have told you, that is impossible.
I have a few extremely bad habits and I do
not desire a husband.”
He took a step closer, ignoring her sad eyes
and pert nose.
“I’m afraid, Miss Blakesley, that you
must be ruined without my help.”
She glanced at his lips and whispered, “That’s
a shame, Mr. Jenkins.”
He stared at the maddening woman, then turned
briskly away.
The faster he got away from her the better.
Honor was beginning to seem a poor consolation
prize for what she was offering.
Chapter Three
A week later, Nathaniel waited impatiently
as his carriage slowly wound its way to the
Hamilton’s.
He had prepared for this ball with more excitement
than he had felt in a long time.
Possibly ever, as he wasn’t more than a
passable dancer and the conversations had
always run toward fashion.
Now, however, there was Miss Blakesley.
What scandalous dialogue she would insist
on spouting while buttoned up to the neck,
he had no idea.
But he did not doubt it would be amusing.
And intriguing.
And arousing.
He had thought of little else than her this
last week, playing again their conversation.
No wonder.
He had never before been approached by a woman
to ruin her.
He could in all honesty say she did not look
mad.
Or devious.
Or even passionate.
And yet, she was all three.
She looked like the scholarly spinster that
she was.
But underneath she was so much more.
He was looking forward to her shocking him
again tonight.
Oh, he had no intention of taking her up on
her offer; he would talk her out of her madness
if she continued to insist upon it.
But he could not seem to stop thinking about
it or her.
His mother intruded on his thoughts.
“You look quite eager tonight, Nathaniel.”
He immediately dropped the curtain and sat
back on the seat.
“Perhaps I have accepted the necessity of
all these social engagements.”
“Mmm.
What’s her name?”
Nathaniel grinned at his mother, who sat back
with an expression of shock on her face.
He laughed.
“Come, Mother.
I can’t be such an ogre that a grin throws
you.”
She composed herself.
“Of course not.
But you must admit this is quite a change
from last week when I practically had to drag
you.”
He nodded.
“On reflection, I have decided I enjoyed
myself immensely last week.
And I have every intention of doing so again.”
He skewered her with a stare.
“But I do not want you jumping to conclusions
about every young lady I come in contact with.”
His mother opened her fan, waving it idly.
“You could do worse than find someone who
excites you, Nathaniel.”
It was true.
However, he doubted his mother would approve
of the lady if she knew why he was excited.
As if reading his mind she said, “If it
is Miss Blakesley, I think it a good match.
She does seem to have a certain indescribable
character about her.”
“Yes, she is fascinating.”
“And really dear, don’t think too much
on the age.
It is true she is not fresh from the schoolroom
but she is still young enough.
She is from a good, quiet, respectable family.”
Nathaniel snorted.
If Miss Blakesley was anything it was not
good, quiet, or respectable.
Olivia searched the crowded ballroom with
little enjoyment.
Since Mr. Jenkins had so very effectively
dismissed her, she had been hard pressed to
get excited about the project.
It didn’t help to know that he was right–
it was a foolish idea.
And the chances of her succeeding were shrinking
every day.
She needed to find a good, decent man and
ask him to act in a reprehensible way.
Foolishness, indeed.
She hadn’t actually thought he would reject
her.
What man could ignore his baser passions when
offered an unplucked flower on a platter?
Obviously, when it was her unplucked flower,
it was easy.
At this rate she was going to have to find
a rake after all.
And one who didn’t have high expectations.
It was turning into a thoroughly depressing
affair.
Olivia stiffened the instant Mr. Jenkins walked
in the door.
She didn’t even have to see him to know
he was there.
She pasted a smile on her face and turned
to say something witty to her sister, hoping
he would ignore her for the night.
Mary poked her in the ribs.
“Ooh, look who’s just arrived.
He’s looking over here.”
“He is not.”
“He is.
And his mother is staring at you.”
Olivia’s face flushed and she whipped her
head around to find both of them watching
her.
Mr. Jenkins nodded, looking almost happy to
be there.
Wasn’t that just wonderful for him.
His mother looked quite intrigued.
Even worse.
Olivia couldn’t imagine he had told his
mother anything, but he wasn’t exactly being
subtle.
Mary whispered behind her fan.
“He looks almost enamored, Livvy.
What did you speak of last week?”
Olivia refused to blush again.
“Nothing, really.
I didn’t talk of fashion though.
Perhaps he’s simply never met a woman who
didn’t know a flounce from a ruffle before.”
Mary snorted.
“I’m sure he hasn’t and I’m sure that’s
not why he’s coming over here right now.”
Olivia took a quick breath, ignoring her speeding
heart.
Hopefully he wasn’t coming to give her another
set-down.
“Mrs. Eliot.
Miss Blakesley.
Would you still have a waltz free?”
Olivia ignored Mary’s wide smile.
If she could have, she would have ignored
Nathaniel Jenkins and his unexpected dance
offer as well.
“Yes, thank you.”
He bowed slightly and left.
Mary’s fan went into convulsions and she
sing-songed, “Olivia has a suitor.”
By the time Mr. Jenkins came for her, she
was ready.
She would not blush again.
She had propositioned him for goodness sake;
she could certainly dance with him without
turning red as a cherry.
The music started, the couples began dancing,
and he said, “I hope you have given up on
your extremely foolish idea, Miss Blakesley.”
So much for gently breaking into the subject.
She eyed him coolly.
“Of course not.
A child learning to walk does not quit after
the first tumble.”
“You must agree this is a little more foolhardy,
and certainly more sinister, than learning
to walk.”
“The principles are the same no matter the
endeavor, Mr. Jenkins.”
His eyes flashed and he brought her closer
for a spin.
“Very well.
Then tell me who you are considering.”
Olivia sniffed.
“Why?”
“Because I am an excellent judge of character.
And who else will you be able to ask?”
Olivia considered.
It would be nice to have a second opinion.
And he would have heard more about the darker
side of a gentleman’s character than she.
She hadn’t the heart to go ask her brothers-in-law
anymore, they teased her endlessly about Mr.
Jenkins.
“Fine.
Mr. James Woolthy.”
“Jimmy?
Too fat.
He’ll have no stamina for the activities
you have planned.”
Olivia bit her tongue and glared at him.
He seemed entirely too cheerful.
“Mr. Marcus Matthews.
He is not fat at all.”
“No, but he is too young.
He’ll not have enough experience to make
the experiment worthwhile.”
“Mr. Simon Rawling.”
“Too much in love with the bottle.
He won’t be able to get the old boy up.”
Olivia pondered that for a moment.
Mr. Jenkins watched her, his fingers gripping
tighter around her waist.
She said, “Well, I fear my options are becoming
quite limited.
It seems I am left with Mr. Damien St. Martins,
the youngest son of Lord Waverley.”
Mr. Jenkins tripped over his own foot.
“Miss Blakesley!
He is a rake of the worst kind.
Your reputation won’t survive that scandal.”
“Can you think of anyone better?”
He stared over her shoulder and sighed.
“I suppose it shall have to be me.”
Olivia huffed.
“If it will be too much of a bother, don’t
put yourself out, sir.”
He glanced at her.
“Was I not enthusiastic enough for you,
Miss Blakesley?”
“No, you weren’t.
And if I do decide to go ahead with you, I
would like an assurance that you’ll do better
in the future.”
Mr. Jenkins choked back a laugh.
“Of course, Miss Blakesley.
It was thoughtless of me.
How can I show you my enthusiasm?
Shall we take a stroll through the gardens?”
“Are you funning me, Mr. Jenkins?”
“Of course not, Miss Blakesley.
I’m simply wondering if you would like to
sample the goods before you decide.”
He’d meant it as a joke, surely, but Olivia
thought it a sensible idea.
What if they were incompatible?
She said, “Perhaps a quick nip outside for
some fresh air would be beneficial, thank
you.”
Mr. Jenkins stared at her, then shook himself.
“Remind me not to offer any more inappropriate
suggestions.
You seem to run away with them.”
Olivia merely looked at him.
He was either going to seduce her or he wasn’t,
and even if there were no other suitors in
line for her she would not be desperate.
She could have married long ago if she’d
been willing to settle for just anybody.
The waltz slowed and ended, and Olivia continued
to look at him.
He cleared his throat.
“Very well.
Shall we take a stroll, Miss Blakesley?”
“Thank you, it is a bit warm in here.”
Mr. Jenkins escorted her to the terrace where,
unfortunately, two matrons sat taking the
air and watching another couple.
He led her to the other side, well away from
prying ears if not prying eyes.
He said, “I dare not take you into the gardens
with those two watching.”
Olivia quietly sighed.
“I understand, Mr. Jenkins.
And I appreciate your care for my reputation.”
He grasped her hand lightly between his, rubbing
it gently.
“I would like to take you into those gardens
and kiss you senseless, though.
I wouldn’t want you thinking I was unenthusiastic.”
She gaped at him.
“You want to kiss me?”
A light twinkled in his eyes.
“I would not have agreed to this crazy scheme
if I didn’t.”
He lightly touched her, right below her ear.
“I want to nuzzle you here, surround myself
in your scent.”
Olivia cleared her throat.
“That does sound inter–”
His finger slid inside the cuff of her sleeve
and stroked her soft skin.
I’d start here at your wrist and kiss and
nibble my way up your arm, stopping to lick
the crook of your elbow.
And then I’d kiss your lips, softly at first,
gently, feeling the softness press warmly
back.
And you’d open your mouth to sigh and I’d
slip my tongue in to play with yours.”
Olivia jumped, staring at his mouth, and whispered,
“Is that pleasant?”
One side of his mouth quirked.
“Oh, yes.”
It didn’t sound like it would be but Olivia
trusted that he knew what he was about.
One hoped he had more experience than she.
He couldn’t possibly have less.
“What is also pleasant is if you circle
your arms around my neck and kiss me back,
your body stretching along mine.
Olivia’s heart beat furiously and the need
for air seemed to have deserted her.
She looked up into his face, saw passion and
want, and understood power for the first time
in her life.
She had done that to him.
Perhaps this wasn’t a good idea after all.
I don’t want to have to ravish you with
an audience.”
Satisfaction stole through Olivia.
“Do you want to ravish me?”
“Miss Blakesley, you are two steps away
from being swept into the garden and seduced
quite thoroughly.”
The light laughter of another couple coming
out to enjoy the air intruded upon them and
Mr. Jenkins stepped back.
His heat left her and Olivia realized just
how hot he had been.
He adjusted the front of his breeches discreetly
and cleared his throat.
“I had meant to shock you out of this mad
idea, Miss Blakesley, not incite myself.”
Olivia shook herself.
“If that was indeed your plan, Mr. Jenkins,
you failed magnificently.
But if we are to continue, I think there will
have to be a few rules.”
He paused for a moment as if he was willing
his better sense to take over.
She held her breath.
He nodded and she began to breathe again.
He said, “Yes, and number one will be to
use our Christian names.”
That seemed quite scandalous.
Even her mother still called her father Mr.
Blakesley.
Of course, the whole affair was quite scandalous.
“Agreed, but only in private.”
“Agreed.
Olivia.”
Olivia’s stomach flopped and she looked
up into his brightly burning eyes.
She had thought him quite ordinary looking,
that was one of the reasons she had chosen
him, but at that moment she would be hard
pressed to find someone more arresting.
He seemed quite powerful, manly.
Dear Lord, she would have to go back inside
to cool down the way they were going.
“Rule number two,” he growled.
“There will not be any other men around
while I am pursuing you.”
Olivia fanned herself.
“Of course not.
A true experiment would require a comparison,
but this is an experience.
I will be delighted to simply have the opportunity.”
And she would not forget that it had been
hard enough to find one suitable and willing
seducer.
She would not bet with herself that she could
find two.
The next dance started up and Olivia reluctantly
let him lead her inside.
“I have not told you any of my rules, Mr…
Nathaniel.”
He escorted her to her sister, sketched a
bow, and grinned at her.
“I am sure there will be ample time for
you to read me the list tomorrow morning,
Miss Blakesley.
Until then.”
She watched him walk the length of the ballroom,
thinking she had picked the best of the lot.
At least if one was comparing backsides.
And seductive capabilities!
“Olivia?”
Mary poked her with the fan.
“Hmm?”
“I said, a waltz and the terrace?
My, oh my.
He is coming calling tomorrow?”
“It would seem so.”
Olivia grinned at her sister.
“I may be in need of more fresh air.”
Mary laughed.
“Of course, sister dear.
You do look a bit peaked.”
Olivia rushed to an open window, reminding
herself not to break into song and dance.
She was a respectable young lady.
She could not create such a spectacle of herself.
She settled for vigorously waving her fan,
hoping it hid her too-large smile and too-warm
cheeks.
She, Miss Olivia Blakesley, spinster extraordinaire,
had found herself a seducer.
Chapter Four
“Rule number one: You can tell no one of
our arrangement.”
Nathaniel escorted Olivia through the park
on his arm, her maid following discreetly.
Since this was the first time her maid had
ever acted as chaperone, she was doing remarkably
well at keeping nearly out of sight.
Olivia wondered idly if her mother had told
the maid to stay as far away as possible.
Olivia wouldn’t put it past her mother to
think a slight scandal might move a marriage
along.
“Of course, Olivia.
A gentleman does not kiss and tell.”
She nodded.
Yet one had to wonder how all the gossip started
if not for a little kiss and tell.
She knew of at least two young ladies whose
reputations had been ruined by hearsay.
She would have to trust Nathaniel that he
would not ruin her.
Or, at least not tell anyone that he had ruined
her.
“Rule number two: I may at any time decide
not to go through with our agreement and you
will respect that.
I will, of course, still pay you.”
Nathaniel stopped in his tracks.
“Do you think you’ll change your mind?”
“Well, I don’t know, do I?
What if I find the marital act terrifying?
One hears so many stories.
I just would like your assurance that you’ll
stop if I ask.”
“You won’t find it terrifying, Olivia.
Thrilling, certainly.
And you won’t want me to stop.”
He pulled her hand back through his arm and
continued walking.
“However, if you wish to stop, I will.
But mean it if you say it.
Starting and stopping is very hard on a man.”
“I will certainly take that into consideration,
Nathaniel.
Hopefully it will not be necessary.”
Nathaniel nodded.
“And you won’t be paying me.”
“I certainly will.”
“No, you won’t.
I will not be a paid courtesan, a prostitute,
or your mistress…master…
Anyhow, I will not be paid.”
“Then why are you doing this?
There’s nothing in it for you.
I will not be charity.”
Olivia glared at him.
“Don’t laugh at me.”
“I’m not laughing at you.
Women are paid for this kind of service because
it is not always pleasurable for them.
For a man it is.
That will be my payment.”
“Hmm.
I still think you should be paid.”
“No.
That is final.”
Olivia sniffed, watching the other couples
walking along the green.
They all looked quite young.
And hopeful.
And young.
And most definitely innocent.
She doubted any of them were having a conversation
quite like theirs.
“There is one thing you haven’t thought
of, Olivia.
What if you become pregnant?”
She continued to look away from Nathaniel
as she answered.
She was really getting quite tired of blushing
in front of him.
“I have thought of it.
I read somewhere that there is a precaution
a man can take to prevent pregnancy.
Do you know of it?”
Nathaniel cleared his throat.
“Yes.
It isn’t foolproof, though.”
Olivia had been afraid it wasn’t.
Was it worth the risk?
She took a deep breath.
It was.
If worse came to worst, she could visit relatives
until the baby was due.
She had five sisters, one of them would surely
raise her baby if need be.
Mary would, definitely.
“I hesitate to ask how you know such things,
Olivia.”
“I do have–”
“And don’t tell me you have five brothers-in-law.
I doubt any of them would have mentioned such
a thing.”
She glanced at him, noting his dark expression.
“Almost anything can be found in a book,
Nathaniel.”
“Not any books you should be reading.”
True.
She had an extremely naughty book hidden under
a floorboard in her room.
She might let him look at it when they knew
each other a little better.
She had a few questions for him.
“Well, I’ve read quite a few things I
shouldn’t have.
I will accept full responsibility should something
unfortunate happen.”
He muttered, “Bloody hell,” and she ignored
it.
She was putting him in an extremely stressful
situation after all.
She said, “Would you like me to pay you
after all?
I understand the method is not so pleasurable
for the man.”
He was turning a bit red and his collar seemed
to be bothering him.
“No, you will not pay me.”
She patted his arm.
“Of course, Nathaniel.
I did not mean to insult your manly pride.”
This was really turning into more work than
Olivia had planned.
They resumed walking and he said, “Was that
the list, then?
You only have two rules?”
“I did have a third one, but after last
night’s demonstration I am no longer worried
about your devotion to the project.
I think we’ll do quite well together.
Although, I’m certain I’ll think of more
rules as situations arise.”
“I’m certain you will.”
“I would like to know why you changed your
mind, though.
You seemed quite put out with me when I originally
asked.”
“You surprised me, Olivia.
It was like having a dog come up and ask for
its dinner.
Wholly unsuspected.”
Olivia turned to stare at him.
“Are you comparing me to a dog, sir?
A talking dog?
Surely it could not have been as unbelievable
as that.”
Nathaniel grimaced.
“That wasn’t what I meant.
Of course I was not comparing you to a dog.”
“It sounded like you were.”
“I was not expecting a gently bred lady
to proposition me.
I was expecting you to talk about your stars,
or since you wanted to be private, I was expecting
you to try and compromise yourself.”
Olivia nodded.
“I see.
You expected a bark and instead found I could
speak.
Do the ladies often try and compromise themselves
with you?”
“Not often, no.”
“You seem to have a low regard for my sex,
Mr. Jenkins.”
“Or a very high regard for dogs.”
“I wonder, sir, why you are not married.
It has left me quite baffled.”
He bent his head and laughed.
His shoulders shook as he quietly gave in
to the inevitable.
Olivia tried very hard to keep her lips pursed.
“I apologize, Olivia.
My charm has deserted me, it seems.
If my mother knew I had just compared a lady
to a dog, I’m sure she would disown me completely.”
“Which I’m sure you would deserve.”
“I would indeed.
How may I make this up to you?”
Olivia patted his arm.
“Let us simply forgive and forget.
I believe the situation we find ourselves
in will lend itself to the occasional social
blunder.”
“Thank you, my dear.
But perhaps a rest in this gazebo will show
I am not completely without manners.”
“Thank you, Nathaniel.
It is getting a bit warm.
I’ve always thought gazebos so nice to cool
down in.”
Nathaniel grinned, pulling her into his arms
as soon as they entered.
“I don’t think you’ll do much cooling
down in this one.”
Her surprised look congratulated him as he
slowly bent his head and touched his lips
to hers.
He gently flicked her upper lip with his tongue,
expertly guiding it in at her gasp.
His tongue flicked hers playfully.
Olivia grasped his lapels, breathing faster,
daringly touching her tongue to his.
“Oh, Nathaniel.
That is pleasant.”
He traced the back of her corset, sliding
his fingers under her arms, tempting himself.
She murmured something and stepped closer,
crushing her chest against his.
Nathaniel traced the rise of her breast and
groaned.
Olivia’s maid called out and he pushed her
away quickly.
Her chest heaved as she tried to gulp down
air.
She said, “So, this is the fascination with
gazebos.”
“Yes, but we may be seen at any moment by
someone other than your maid.”
“I think that is part of the fascination.”
He smiled as they exited and found her maid
waiting, pointedly looking at the trees.
Nathaniel said, “Well, my dear.
I believe you requested an escort to the opera.
Will you join me?”
She wrinkled her nose, then squared her shoulders.
“I did want the full experience and a night
at the opera does seem de rigueur for courting
couples.
Thank you, Nathaniel, that will be…wonderful.”
Nathaniel had lost his mind.
Or rather, he kept losing it whenever he went
near Olivia Blakesley.
He had meant to talk her out of getting seduced,
not talk himself into it.
But here he was, courting her, wooing her.
Taking her to the opera!
The last time he’d let his pants do the
talking for him, he’d been eighteen and
had come home with a black eye.
If he continued with this mad scheme, he’d
be coming home with a bullet in his gut from
one of her brothers-in-law.
Madness.
She was a gently-bred woman.
An oddly-reared, stubborn, passionate, intelligent
woman.
And he couldn’t help but feel that if he
refused her, she would find some other man.
Another man who might hurt her or her family.
He shook his head in disgust.
He was grasping for straws here, any excuse
that would let him do what he wanted.
Because he wanted her.
Wanted her more than he’d wanted a woman
in a very long time.
He had not felt so excited to be alive since
his father had died.
She shocked him, amused him, aroused him.
He wouldn’t hurt her, as some other men
might.
He would give her what she wanted; an experience
to last a lifetime.
No one would know, no one would be hurt.
He could go ahead with his conscience clear.
And he would gag the voice in his head that
was telling him that this would be the final
nail in her spinster’s coffin.
Mary arrived later that evening to join them
for dinner and stole up to Olivia’s bedroom
to hear all the juicy details one couldn’t
tell one’s mother.
Since there were far too many juicy details
one couldn’t tell one’s sister as well,
Olivia glossed over her morning outing and
went straight to the next planned encounter.
“You want to go to the opera?”
Mary looked at her oddly.
“Since when?”
“Since a handsome man asked me to attend
with him.”
“Ah, of course.
I should have expected that.
Well, I’ll certainly join you, and Rufus,
too.
He loves the music.”
Mary looked at Olivia’s pained face and
laughed.
“You did know there was singing involved,
didn’t you?”
“I suspected.
Is it awful?”
“It’s nothing like Prudence and her screeching,
if that’s what you’re asking.
You should ask Rufus to explain it before
you go.
I’ve actually started to enjoy it.”
“Poor Rufus, to be married into our unmusical
family.”
“Mmm.
Perhaps I should warn your Mr. Jenkins.”
“Perhaps I should bop you over the head
with my telescope.”
Mary tsked at her.
“So violent.
Never fear, I won’t say a word to him about
that.
What will you be wearing?
Mama says she almost got you to the dressmakers
this week, but lost you to a bookseller on
the way.”
“I told her before we went that I didn’t
need any new dresses.”
Mary looked down at Olivia’s gray bombazine
and raised an eyebrow.
“Gray is not your color, Livvy.
It makes you look deathly.
I think you should take Mama up on the offer
and get a nice spring yellow.
You’d look lovely.”
Olivia made a face and gagged.
“Yellow?
Be serious, Mary.
I am nearly eight and twenty.
No spinster should wear bright yellow.
It would just be sad.”
Mary looked at her crossly.
“You are not a spinster, Olivia Blakesley.
I hate when you say so.”
Olivia sighed.
“I am.
And what’s more I don’t mind.
I don’t mind gray bombazine, either.
I need never worry that I’ll stain it.”
“That’s because it’s ugly and no one
would care if you burnt it.
And I doubt Mr. Jenkins thinks you a spinster.”
“Mr. Jenkins is not exactly in the first
flush of youth either.”
Mary laughed.
“I don’t think you can say that about
men, Livvy.
He is more mature.”
Olivia agreed.
He certainly was.
And she got the distinct impression he liked
her ugly dresses.
He certainly talked encouragingly enough about
getting her out of them.
She smiled as she followed Mary down to dinner.
Even despite the looming threat of the opera,
she could not wait until she could see Nathaniel
again.
He had already exceeded her greatest expectations.
She would just have to remember not to mention
any more activities that she did not want
to participate in.
He was entirely too good a listener.
Chapter Five
The opera house was filled to the rafters
with perfumed ladies and foppish men.
Even with her blind fashion eye, Olivia could
tell that here was where the ton fawned themselves.
Striped pantaloons, cherry red lips, and powdered
wigs.
The women were even worse.
One woman’s hat looked as if it was about
to fly away.
Mary looked at her face and laughed.
“Regretting the bombazine now?”
“No.
I was thinking it an improvement over most
of the costumes here.”
Nathaniel bent to whisper in Olivia’s ear.
“Have you never been to the opera, Olivia?
I should have warned you.”
“And I should have expected something like
this.
I knew there was a reason I’d never come
before.”
“Well, I hope the music is to your liking.”
She kept a purposefully hopeful expression
on her face.
“They can’t come just for the fashion,
can they?
I expect to be dazzled by beautiful singing
and an emotional story.”
Nathaniel laughed.
“Is that a quote from the Times?
If not, I believe your interests lie in the
wrong field.
You should become a critic.
Do you speak German, then?”
Olivia frowned at him.
“German?”
“This opera is in German.”
“What, the singing?
All of it?”
She turned to Rufus.
“You forgot to mention that.”
He folded his pamphlet, laughing at her.
“I thought you would guess by the title.”
“I thought that was a gimmick.
You told me it was beautiful and emotional;
how was I to guess it was in German?”
Nathaniel pulled her away gently.
“Come, my dear.
Let’s find our seats, shall we?”
“Do you come much, Nathaniel?”
“I confess, no.”
Olivia followed him, secretly pleased that
he did not regularly attend.
And even more pleased that he had gone to
the effort to take her.
She smiled pleasantly at him.
She would try to enjoy this experience knowing
she wasn’t likely to be subjected to it
again.
Despite her sister’s assurance, she could
not imagine a beautiful melody, only torturous
screeching.
Thankfully, her mother had wisely chosen other
accomplishments for her daughters to exhibit.
One’s ears were blissfully left alone by
painting.
The four of them sat and Olivia leaned toward
Mary and whispered, “How long is this supposed
to last?”
Mary spoke behind her fan.
“Three hours.”
Olivia stared at her incredulously.
“Of singing?
Nothing but singing?
In German?”
“There’s an intermission where you can
walk around and look at everyone’s pretty
dresses.”
Olivia glared at her.
No wonder she had never come to the opera
before.
Music and fashion, her two most favorite subjects.
Less than half an hour after the curtain rose,
she glanced at Rufus.
He sat forward in his chair, listening in
rapture to the music.
She wished she could hear what he so obviously
enjoyed, but she hadn’t a musical bone in
her body.
The only one of her sisters who could sing
at all decently was Eugenia, and that was
only through hours and hours of tortuous practice.
Give her the beautifully silent stars any
day.
Olivia peeked at Nathaniel, half afraid he
was in bliss himself.
Though why she should care was beyond her.
He wasn’t really courting her.
She wouldn’t have to spend years accompanying
him to the opera if he did enjoy it so.
Nonetheless, she let out a sigh of relief
at his carefully neutral face.
He glanced at her and Olivia couldn’t help
but feel that they shared a moment of complete
understanding and togetherness.
She felt a twinge of regret that it could
not last, but then shook herself.
She would not poison this experience.
Even if this had been a true courtship, it
would end anyhow.
She had enough married sisters to know that
the thrill would fade.
She would simply enjoy it while it lasted.
She was startled when Nathaniel’s hand found
hers in the darkness.
His thumb began to draw lazy patterns on her
glove and she suppressed a shiver.
She glanced at him but found he was suddenly
quite fascinated with the show.
All of a sudden she was finding it quite exciting
as well.
The beating of her heart drowned out all other
sound as he continued to fondle her suddenly
sensitive fingers.
Her breath came faster and her stomach flipped
and flopped.
She fanned herself vigorously; the room had
become inexplicably warm.
She noticed a slight smirk on Nathaniel’s
face; the man needed a taste of his own medicine.
She began to fondle his fingers.
His breath hitched and she feared there was
a little smirk on her face now.
She glanced at him and met his eyes.
They were bright and shining and he smiled
a little at her.
His own fingers once again sought to take
control of the situation and she choked back
her laugh as they fought for fondling dominance.
The longer she and Nathaniel courted the more
she thought how well suited they were together.
He was quite the most wonderful gentleman
she’d ever gotten to know.
They had the same interests, the same non-interests,
and he made even the most head-pounding evening
fly by.
Every once in a while she thought it was a
shame this was not a real courtship.
Would they suit for real?
Of course, it wouldn’t be very fair to him
if she started thinking and acting like this
was a real courtship.
They had a deal and marriage wasn’t part
of it.
She had propositioned him, so it wasn’t
likely he still thought her a proper young
lady fit for a gentleman.
Intermission came quickly enough.
Nathaniel’s hand fiddling had kept her quite
occupied, but she still begged Mary to leave
early when they visited the lady’s withdrawing
room.
Hand fiddling, while quite exhilarating, could
not silence the interminable screeching.
“No.
You asked us to accompany you, and Rufus has
been so excited to come.
We can’t leave halfway through.”
“I don’t understand how he can be so passionate
about it.”
“None of us can understand what you find
so all-consuming about the stars, yet we let
you get on with it.”
Olivia could think of quite a few instances
where her family had not left her alone in
peace to study her stars.
Yet, she knew that Rufus felt quite passionate
about music and she wouldn’t want to deny
him the pleasure.
No matter how much it made her want to yell.
Mary said, “Besides, aren’t you enjoying
sitting so close to your Mr. Jenkins?”
“I am.
But he doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself
so much either.”
“At least you have that in common.
You won’t have to attend with him in the
future if neither of you enjoys it.
Rufus says Mr. Jenkins prefers the country;
you two can squirrel away to the countryside
and be happy forevermore.”
“The stars are clearer in the country.
Town is all about fashion and gossip.
I dare say this will be my last season here.”
Mary grinned at her, happy.
“I dare say it will be, too.”
Olivia shook her head.
“Even if nothing comes of Mr. Jenkins.
I am about ready for spinster-hood.”
Mary glared at her.
“I will be ever so grateful when I no longer
have to hear you call yourself a spinster.
I am quite tired of it.”
They left the lady’s room and found themselves
in quite a crush.
They wound their way through to the gentlemen
and Olivia could hear whispers and laughter.
It was mostly gossip about fashion, but then
she heard “…gray bombazine…” and realized
it was she they were laughing about.
She smiled at such foolishness.
She really did not understand what the fuss
was about.
She had dressed appropriately for the opera,
if not fashionably.
“…Jenkins doing with her?”
“…do much better…”
“…joke?
Not like him…”
And she stopped smiling.
Would his reputation suffer because of his
supposed interest in her?
At least no one could believe that Nathaniel
was really courting her.
Why would they?
He was a solid gentleman with a solid fortune,
he could have any woman he wished.
He wouldn’t choose to court a set-in-her-ways
old maid.
Oh, if they only knew the real reason he was
here with her.
It was good he was such an honorable man.
He would never tell anyone of their arrangement,
that much she was sure of.
When their arrangement came to an end, no
one would think anything but that he had come
to his senses and stopped pursuing such an
unsuitable match.
She had benefited extraordinarily from his
attention.
She had experienced walking the green, flirtatious
dancing, attending the opera, and been the
object of a man’s studied attention.
It was getting hard for her to pretend it
wasn’t for real, and it seemed it was getting
hard for others to ignore his attention as
well.
She hadn’t meant to make anyone believe
they had an attachment, least of all herself.
She had simply wanted to know what it felt
like to be wanted.
Now she knew.
She also knew it was time to end the public
courtship.
She did not want his reputation to suffer
from their association.
She liked him far too well to cause him any
harm.
At last the opera ended and they escaped.
Nathaniel kept her close, ostensibly to guide
her through the masses of people.
He said, “That was an experience I won’t
be quick to forget.”
“Nor I.
Thank you for suffering through it for me.”
“Of course, Olivia.
I did enjoy parts of it, though I hope we
won’t have to again for quite some time.”
She shook her head.
“Once was more than enough for me.
But thank you, Nathaniel.
This has been a wonderful courtship.”
“Do you consider yourself wooed and won,
then?”
She laughed, squeezing his arm.
“I do, indeed.”
She paused, looking away.
“But I wonder when the next part will come.”
“I admit I’ve been hesitating.”
“Why?”
“I’ve been hoping you would change your
mind.”
She scowled at him.
“I won’t.”
“And also because once a couple unites,
it changes their relationship.
Sweet kisses and passionate embraces are no
longer enough, the act itself becomes all
important.
It is very hard to go back to what one was
before…
Are you sure you want to continue, Olivia?”
As they stepped outside, the cool air made
her shiver.
She took a deep breath.
“Yes.
That was what we agreed to, Nathaniel.
I want to know.
I want to know why the act becomes so important.
I want to know why passion grips men’s souls
and makes women go all aflutter.”
She looked up at him and whispered.
“Please show me.”
He stared in silence at the line of carriages,
then chuckled.
“Will you be watching the stars tonight?”
Olivia glanced at the foggy sky, then smiled
at him.
“I expect not for long.”
Nathaniel smiled, too.
“No, not for long.”
Chapter Six
If Mr. Nathaniel Jenkins didn’t get here
soon, Olivia was going to beat him with her
telescope.
They would find him bludgeoned to death and
her only excuse would be that he’d promised
to seduce her and hadn’t.
Could anyone blame her?
Disown her certainly, but not blame her.
She had rushed outside as soon as it was dark–
eager and expectant.
That had been a good three hours ago and she
was tired.
The thrill had worn down to a dull aching
in her stomach.
Perhaps he had changed his mind.
He was a gentleman after all.
He had been taught from birth to never dally
with another gentleman’s daughter.
One only married those.
She should have paid him.
Then he would’ve had to come back to seduce
her.
She should have made him swear on his honor.
“The way you’re glaring at that chimney
makes me think I’m late.”
Olivia jumped out of her chair, half out of
fright, half out of righteous indignation.
“Yes, you’re late.
I’ve been out here for three hours.
I’m freezing, my lower extremities have
fallen asleep, and you’ve made me wait so
long that I am not interested in you or anything
you think you can teach me.”
She took a breath, pacing in front of him.
Nathaniel watched her with the intensity of
a lion-tamer, his eyes following her ragged
pacing.
“I apologize, Olivia.
I should have been more specific.
I didn’t want to come when anyone would
be awake.”
Olivia hastily lowered her voice to a whisper.
“Well, everyone has been asleep for a good
while.
I think I’ll join them.”
Nathaniel caught her wrist as she swept by
him.
“Olivia, wait.”
She stopped, refusing to look at him, and
wished the ache in her stomach would go away.
She had not felt this ill since her coming-out.
Nathaniel slowly pulled her to the chair,
settled himself, arranged her on his lap,
and draped the blanket around them.
He held her, his chin resting on her head,
and said nothing.
Olivia relaxed unwillingly against him, his
heat warming her.
She breathed deeply and the scent of horse
and man and bay filled her.
Men smelled so differently than women.
They smelled warmer somehow.
Or perhaps they just felt warmer.
She’d been held by her mother before, and
she’d hugged her sisters.
None of them had been so hot.
Nathaniel’s heat almost burned her.
She was getting a bit warm under the blanket.
Nathaniel’s armed snaked around her waist,
holding her closer.
“You can change your mind.”
“I don’t want to change my mind, I just
wish I hadn’t had so much time to think
about it.”
Olivia turned to face him, watching him in
the moonlight.
“May I kiss you?”
He smiled slightly and his armed tightened
around her.
“Yes.”
Her heart pounded and her breath came faster.
He had always kissed her before.
It was all well and good to be seduced, but
sometimes a woman had to take control.
Otherwise, there was too much time for thinking.
She leaned forward and brushed his lips.
Again and again she ran her closed lips gently
against his.
They were soft, gliding smoothly against her
own.
She moved to his cheek, brushing her lips
back and forth.
“You shaved.”
She felt him smile, but he remained silent.
She stood, warmed by his heat, warmed by her
own.
She leaned over him, running her lips over
his nose, slipping across his lashes and his
closed eyes.
His hands grasped lightly around her waist,
caressing down her hips and thighs, and up
around her rib-cage, gently nudging her breasts.
Her breath caught.
He rose swiftly, wrapping the blanket around
her.
“Stay here a moment.”
He knelt by his saddle-bags, pulling out a
thick blanket and spreading it on the small
deck.
He placed a thinner blanket on top, then held
his hand out to her, motioning for her to
come.
In his hand was a small red rose.
She walked toward him slowly, taking the rose
and inhaling the sweet scent.
She whispered, “Thank you, Nathaniel.
This is more than I expected.”
“You wanted to be wooed and seduced, Olivia.
I am a man of my word.”
She smiled, ignoring the butterflies in her
stomach.
She knelt on the blanket beside him and he
took her hand, pulling her to press against
him knee to chest.
He kissed her cheek and lips and whispered,
“You wanted to learn the art of seduction,
Miss Blakesley?”
“I believe I called it the acts of seduction.”
He nibbled her bottom lip.
“You’ll learn that, too.”
Olivia awoke to sunlight streaming through
her window, the songs of birds serenading
her, and the smell of hot sausages tantalizing
her.
She stretched lazily, smiling to herself.
What a glorious morning.
Her mother knocked on the door, entreating
her to get up.
“What if your Mr. Jenkins comes this morning,
Livvy?
I don’t want to have to tell him you are
still abed.”
Olivia doubted that would shock him at all.
“I’m up, Mama.
I’ll be down presently.”
She bounded out of bed, nearly falling to
the floor, and groaned as all the muscles
in her lower extremities protested.
Dear heaven, she was sore!
She winced as she took another step and silently
berated herself.
How was she supposed to comport herself in
front of her parents when it felt like she
had been thoroughly used!
How was she supposed to walk down the confounded
stairs without killing herself!
No one had ever mentioned this little side
effect, thank you very much.
She expected her nether regions to be a bit
sore, which they were, but not nearly as sore
as her backside.
Perhaps that was from the hard deck.
Her next lesson would need to be on something
a bit softer.
Olivia dressed slowly, stretching her abused
muscles, and praying her parents would not
know by looking at her that she was no longer
a virgin spinster aunt.
She was a ruined spinster aunt, thank you
very much.
The stairs gave her pause.
She held firm to the rod, groaning with each
step, thankful no one could see her.
Her mother and father were already sitting
at the table and eating when she arrived.
Her appetite ravenous, she filled her plate,
and stiffly sat in her chair.
Her mother glanced at her.
“Are you ill, Olivia?
I hope you haven’t caught a cold.
A man’s attention is very fragile and now
would be a bad time to lose Mr. Jenkins’
interest.”
Olivia tucked into her eggs.
“I am not ill.
I fell asleep in my chair last night and am
a bit stiff.”
Her father frowned over his spectacles.
“Shall I send Haskins out with you, my dear?
I know you do not like company, but this is
not the country.
Even if you are on the roof.”
“No, Papa.
I shan’t be falling asleep again, trust
me.”
Her mother sighed.
“What Mr. Jenkins would say about your nocturnal
tendencies, I know not.”
She pointed her fork at her daughter and shook
it.
“You are not a normal girl, Olivia.”
Olivia bit back a laugh.
“I rather think he knows that, Mama.
I don’t try to hide it.”
“Well, don’t tell him that we let you
outside at night alone.
I shudder to think the scandal that would
bring.
Better if he finds out after the wedding.”
Chapter Seven
It had been almost a se’nnight since Nathaniel
had come to her that night and Olivia was
feeling quite a bit restless.
Anxious.
Impatient.
Oh, she saw him nearly every day.
He came calling regularly, and danced with
her repeatedly, and everyone in the family
called him her Mr. Jenkins.
She refused to be seen anywhere else in public
with him and had tried to limit one dance
per night with him, but she could hardly refuse
him a second one, especially as he asked when
she was surrounded by her family.
She had explained that she was trying to be
discreet to protect his reputation but he
had merely laughed.
She couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit excited
and alarmed with his public attentions.
But if her Mr. Jenkins did not commit to a
private rendezvous soon she was going to start
screaming.
Olivia took a deep breath and smiled at Mary.
She now realized why Nathaniel had been cautious
in introducing her to the acte d’amour.
No longer was she content with dances and
kisses.
She wanted more.
Needed more.
No wonder young women were kept oblivious
to the marital act until safely married.
It would not do at all to have young women
chasing after men, knocking them to the ground
and having their wicked way with them.
She saw Nathaniel enter the room and tried
not to run to him like some lovesick ninny.
She smiled pleasantly when he caught her eye
and ignored her rapidly beating heart as he
made his way to them.
“Mrs. Eliot, Miss Blakesley.”
“Mr. Jenkins.”
“Would you have the next dance free?”
Olivia scowled at him.
“Really, Na– Mr. Jenkins.
You just can’t come dance with me as soon
as you walk in the door.
Wander around a bit, mingle.
You are giving the gossips too much to work
with.”
Mary hid a laugh behind her fan.
“Are you often scolded by the women you
seek out, Mr. Jenkins?
I’m surprised you take it so well.”
He smiled.
“I don’t take it to heart, Mrs. Eliot.
She insists on preserving my bachelor reputation
despite my decided lack of enjoyment in it.
If it weren’t for how sweetly she welcomes
my company when she is not worrying what others
think, I would leave her be.”
“My sister?
Worrying about what others think?
Sweet?”
Mary looked at Olivia and smiled so happily
that Olivia shuddered.
Her mother would take one look at Mary and
assume Nathaniel had proposed right then and
there.
Mary sighed.
“Oh, Olivia.”
Olivia turned away from her.
“Oh, all right.
Let’s go dance.”
Nathaniel chuckled, taking her hand in his.
“Nathaniel, you are all but declaring your
intentions with this tomfoolery.
My family will be stricken when nothing comes
of it.”
“Perhaps something will come of it.”
Her face darkened with anger.
“You and I both know that isn’t true.
We have an agreement.
You are not holding up your end.”
“I thought part of it was wooing and winning.”
“You’ve wooed, you’ve won.
Now stop it.”
“I wonder why I don’t feel as if I’ve
won.”
Olivia muttered, “It is because you have
not been fulfilling all your contractual obligations.”
A diabolical smile lit his face and Olivia
nearly tripped over her own foot.
“Do you feel as if I have been ignoring
a certain aspect of your education, Olivia?”
She chose to ignore him rather than risk looking
a besotted fool and was taken completely by
surprise when her mouth opened of its own
volition and hissed, “A week!”
“It has seemed like an eternity to me.”
She felt slightly mollified.
“Then why have you not come?”
“It was to give you time, Olivia.
You were quite sore after.”
“True, but that went away quickly.”
“And then it was because I wanted to visit
you.”
She thought for a moment.
“You didn’t visit because you wanted to
visit?”
“It does sound silly when you say it, but
I do not like my passions to get out of control.”
“Ah.
Yes.”
She smiled.
“I do turn most of the men around me into
ravenous beasts.”
“You make one out of me.”
She laughed.
“I don’t believe you but it is a pretty
excuse.”
“It is the truth but if you won’t believe
it then let’s move on from excuses and on
to plans.”
Her stomach flopped.
“Plans?
Have you resumed control of your beast then?”
He shook his head.
“I am afraid he will be in control for quite
some time.
I no longer care.”
“Well then, when shall I expect your ravenous
beast?”
And why, oh why, was that thought so titillating?
Nathaniel so in passion that he lost all control?
“Perhaps tonight I can rein him in enough
to not scare you.”
“Please don’t on my account.
I am slightly interested in meeting him.”
Nathaniel coughed, nearly missing the next
step.
“Dear God.”
And Miss Olivia Blakesley, for the first time
in her life, giggled.
Mr. Nathaniel Jenkins had come to the conclusion
this past torturous week that Olivia Blakesley
was the woman he had been waiting to marry.
He had never met a woman who intrigued him
more.
Who could surprise him with her thoughts and
conclusions.
Who tormented him with her diabolical choice
of dress.
He was not made to marry any young girl who
thought the color orange was sophisticated.
He preferred somber colors.
He preferred high necks, not floating cleavage.
He preferred conversation and debate.
He preferred Olivia.
He wanted to marry her.
They were perfect for each other.
He did not in the least fear that she would
have nothing to do with her day, her life,
than coddle him or want him to coddle her.
She had interests.
Even better, she had interests that would
not cost him an obscene amount of money.
Of course, he would marry her even if she
wanted him to build an observatory, but he
considered that highly unlikely.
She was passionate.
Far more passionate than he had expected from
any gently bred lady of the ton.
She was far more curious than any lady of
the ton.
He would need to keep her satiated, intrigued.
He wouldn’t want her trying to buy other
men.
A dark moment passed while he wondered if
she would proposition some young buck if Nathaniel
did not keep her satisfied.
He shook his head.
She had resorted to that out of desperation,
and she was at least twenty-seven.
It wasn’t as if she had begun propositioning
strange men as soon as she’d entered society.
His previous vision of a cold, duty-filled
marriage died around her.
No sneaking off to a mistress for love, or
to his club for thought-filled conversation.
He could easily imagine years of happiness
tucked away in the country arguing and laughing.
Yes, Olivia was perfect.
And thankfully, already his.
They were meant to be.
This time Olivia had provided the blanket,
and she paced beside it waiting for him.
She had waited every night for a week, on
the chance that he might come.
She had felt like a silly ninny every night
when he hadn’t.
If it weren’t for his attentions during
the daylight hours, she would have assumed
he’d had his pleasure and was done with
her.
Truthfully, he had performed his obligations.
They should end the whole thing.
But she didn’t want to.
When he’d told her starting a physical relationship
changed things, she’d thought he’d been
exaggerating.
Perhaps it was simply because it was new to
her, but she found herself thinking of him
all day long.
When he was close and she could smell him,
she often thought she might faint from longing.
It was embarrassing!
She, of all people.
Felled by passion.
Olivia exhaled loudly when he found her.
He had come.
The night was cool and she was glad she did
not have to wait long for him, for his heat.
Nathaniel bent to one knee, bringing a bouquet
of flowers from behind his back.
Olivia took a step back.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m asking you to marry me.”
“Oh, Nathaniel.
I can’t marry you.”
Nathaniel stared.
“Pardon?
Have you become engaged to someone else while
I wasn’t looking?”
Olivia frowned.
“Of course not.
But you are simply feeling guilty for taking
my…”
“…maidenhead?”
“My innocence.”
“As you said before, Olivia, you were not
an innocent.
Inexperienced, and I rectified that, but you
were definitely not an innocent.”
True.
But she couldn’t help feeling that this
was a mistake and blamed it on his honor.
He had ruined her for marriage, she was sure
he thought so, and proposed to her out of
guilt.
“Nathaniel.
I can’t marry you.”
“Why not?
We are eminently suited for each other.”
“I would make you a terrible wife.
I have been alone for too long.”
Nathaniel shook his head.
“Yes, I have.
Not even you would let me sneak outside every
clear night.”
“Well–”
“And what about children?
I’m not sure I’m mother material.
I don’t like being constantly distracted.”
“Olivia–”
“I do like being an aunt, it’s true.
But I get to go home at the end of the day.
When they stub their little toes, it’s not
me they go running to.”
“Olivia, I hate to mention this but we have
been intimate.
You may already be pregnant.”
Olivia stared at him indignantly.
“I thought you had taken care of that!”
Nathaniel shrugged.
“There is always the possibility.”
She sat down in silence, considering.
Finally, she shook her head.
“I don’t think so.”
“And you’re right, I wouldn’t let you
sneak outside every clear night.
It’s too dangerous and I can’t believe
your father allows it.”
“I told you.”
“But I would build you a tower.
An observatory that you could escape to but
would be safe.”
She stared at him, torn between laughter at
the idea and amazement.
Had he considered this already?
“An observatory?”
“With your easels out there already– a
chair, blankets.
You could simply slip up there and I wouldn’t
worry.”
He laughed.
“I was just congratulating myself on choosing
an inexpensive wife.”
Olivia shook her head.
“It wouldn’t be the same.”
“It would be better.”
“I like helping my father with the estate.
Truthfully, he hasn’t cared for the books
in nearly five years.”
“I don’t see why you would have to stop
doing that.
Indeed, I would enjoy input from you about
my estates.”
She shook her head.
“I am as free as any woman could ever be.
My life is exactly as I want it.”
He took her hand.
“When I am with you, my future does not
seem so dark.
When I am with you, life is colorful and wonderful.
Can you not say the same?”
She whispered sadly, “Nathaniel…”
He let go of her hand.
“Think on it, Olivia.
We are perfect for each other.”
She shook her head.
“It’s impossible.
Perhaps we could go on like this.”
Nathaniel rose, taking a step back.
“Perhaps not.
One day we will both tire of sneaking around.”
He pointed at the hard deck.
“We will tire of bruised backsides.
We will tire of having to separate at the
end of the day.”
Olivia said nothing, merely watched him with
sad eyes.
He turned to leave and she rose from her chair
quickly.
“Will you not stay tonight?”
He shook his head.
“I came offering you the stars and all you
want is the moon.
I will not settle for less, Olivia.”
Chapter Eight
Nathaniel found his mother at home the next
morning.
He threw himself into a chair, flopping into
a boneless heap.
“Good morning, Nathaniel.”
“Mother.
Prepare yourself; I’m getting married.”
“Hallelujah.
I assume to Miss Blakesley?”
“You assume correctly.
However, there is a small problem.”
His mother said, “And you’ve come to me
to fix it?
How odd.
Are you feeling quite well, dear?”
“No.
I have a recalcitrant bride-to-be who will
not listen to me at all.”
“Hmm.
You’ve picked well for yourself.
I’d hate for you to be saddled with a woman
who ran to do your bidding.”
Nathaniel tipped his head.
“Thank you.
Now will you help me?”
“Of course.
A woman always needs more grandchildren.”
Nathaniel muttered under his breath.
Where the idea came from that the female was
the weaker sex, he had no idea.
They always did exactly what they wished.
Anne said, “First, I must make sure that
the lady in question does want to marry you.
I would hate to coerce Miss Blakesley into
marrying an ogre if she didn’t love you.”
“Thank you again, Mother.
Why don’t I ask Barters to stab me in the
back as well.”
“Your valet would never do such a thing,
even if you begged.
Blood is quite awful to get out of cloth.”
She skewered her son with the look.
“Why does Miss Blakesley refuse your hand?”
“I don’t know.
Yes, I do.
Because she has had too much freedom in the
past.
Too much time to think.
She should have been married ages ago.
She says she would make me a terrible wife.”
“Hmm.
Have you considered that she may not love
you, Nathaniel?
I do not mean to be cruel, but perhaps she
was being tactful.”
“Olivia?
Tactful?
She’s never heard the word.
If she didn’t want to marry me she would
have come right out and told me I was an under-educated
toad.”
He sighed.
“She came damned close to tears when she
refused me.
She is simply being stubborn.”
She nodded, satisfied.
“I shall call on a few ladies.
How do they say it in the militia?
I will gather my forces.
It is a mother’s duty to see her children
married.”
Anne held her hand out to Nathaniel and he
rose to his feet swiftly.
She said, “Shall we plan on an autumn wedding?”
“I would prefer summer.
Perhaps I’ll apply for a special license.
Or carry her off to Gretna Green.
I’ll need some rope and a gag.”
She shook her head.
“No, Nathaniel.
I only have two children and I will have full
weddings for the both of you.
Leave Olivia to me.”
“Thank you, Mother.
I knew I could count on you.”
“Of course, my dear.
That’s what mothers are for.”
“Mrs. Anne Jenkins is here to see you, Ma’am.”
Mrs. Blakesley nervously ran her fingers over
her cap and fingered her fichu.
“Anne Jenkins?
Send her in, send her in.
Oh, dear!”
What in the world was Mrs. Jenkins doing over
here at this hour?
The housekeeper escorted Mrs. Jenkins in and
Mrs. Blakesley rose.
“Mrs. Jenkins.”
“Mrs. Blakesley.
I do apologize for intruding at this hour,
but I fear it is an emergency.”
“Of course, of course.
Sit down, please.”
“Thank you.”
Mrs. Jenkins sat demurely, barely glancing
at the arrangement of the room and offering
no courtesies.
“Mrs. Blakesley, you must be aware of the
attachment between our children.”
Mrs. Blakesley nodded.
Then her eyes widened and her hand flew to
her chest.
“Tell me they have not run off to Gretna
Green, Mrs. Jenkins!
Oh, the scandal!”
“They have not run off to Gretna Green.”
“Oh.
Then, pray tell, what is the emergency?”
“Perhaps I spoke in haste.
However, there is a matter that must needs
be drawn to our attention.
It is our duty to see our children married
fortuitously, happily, and if at all possible,
before our deaths.
You must agree with me, Mrs. Blakesley.”
Mrs. Blakesley held her breath, trying to
dampen her growing anger.
“I do quite agree with you, Mrs. Jenkins.
And I find the match to be fortuitous and
happy for both sides.”
“As do I.
Which is why we must act together to marry
them off.”
Mrs. Blakesley blinked.
“Pardon me, Mrs. Jenkins.
For a moment there I thought you had come
to run my daughter off.”
“Oh, dear.
Of course not.
I find the match perfectly acceptable.
Miss Blakesley is not as young as some girls
these days, but I find that suits my son better.
He would never be happy with a silly girl.
The matter I wish to bring to your attention
is the fact that my son has already proposed
to Miss Blakesley.”
Mrs. Blakesley fluttered her handkerchief
and bit back a squeal.
“All six of my daughters married!
Oh, Mrs. Jenkins, this is not an emergency!”
“She refused him.”
“Pardon?”
“Miss Blakesley turned him down.”
Mrs. Blakesley’s eyebrows drew together
and she leaned back heavily in her chair.
“My daughter has refused the only marriage
proposal she will ever receive?”
Mrs. Jenkins nodded.
Mrs. Blakesley folded her hands carefully
in her lap.
“I understand the emergency now, Mrs. Jenkins.”
“Thank you.
We both have children who remain unmarried
far longer than one would wish.
I intend to rectify that.”
“Indeed.
I shall help.”
“Olivia.”
“Mama?
What is the matter?”
“I was visited by Mrs. Jenkins today.”
Olivia looked down at her painting, mentally
cursing herself.
She should have expected this.
Nathaniel was not the sort to give up easily.
“I was not aware you knew Mrs. Jenkins.”
“Of course we’ve met, Olivia.
Our children were spending quite a bit of
time together.
In fact, some people would have been expecting
an announcement soon.”
Olivia sighed.
Whatever Mrs. Jenkins had told her mother,
and Olivia was more than a little worried
about that, it wasn’t good.
She could tell by the calm, monotonous voice.
“An announcement seems a bit premature to
me.
But perhaps tongues start to wag as soon as
a man asks for a dance.”
Her mother bent down until her nose nearly
touched Olivia’s cheek.
“It wouldn’t have been premature if you
had accepted his proposal.”
“Ah.
That was a bit quick.
I hadn’t expected you to hear of that quite
yet.”
Or Mrs. Jenkins.
Had Nathaniel told her?
Everything?
Mrs. Blakesley walked to an empty stool and
dragged it across the room, positioning it
beside Olivia.
She smiled stiffly and sat.
“I had thought Mr. Jenkins to have the approval
of your brothers.
Have you discovered some serious flaw in his
character?”
Olivia muttered, “Brothers-in-law, Mother.
You of all people should know I have no blood
brothers.”
Her mother’s forced bonhomie was more frightening
than her anger.
Mrs. Blakesley ignored her.
“Perhaps he has a gambling addiction?”
“I doubt it.”
“He lost his temper and frightened you?”
“Mr. Jenkins?
Please, Mother.
He’s certainly lost his patience with me,
but never his temper.”
Her mother watched her for a moment, then
turned to stare out the window.
“He’s kissed you, hasn’t he?”
Olivia couldn’t stop the blush from blossoming
across her cheeks.
She ducked her head, hoping her hair blocked
her mother’s view.
“Oh, Olivia.
He has!”
She cleared her throat.
“A man’s passions are not to be feared,
Livvy.”
Olivia’s mouth dropped open and she stared
at her mother in horror.
“Moth–”
“No, it was not proper for him to kiss you,
but not entirely unexpected.
He has scared you.”
Olivia placed her paintbrush gently on the
easel.
Perhaps she could tiptoe out of the room and
drown herself?
Her mother continued.
“A man’s urges are sometimes wild and
uncontrollable, Livvy.
But a wife’s duty is not always a duty.
It is possible to…to enjoy a husband’s
embrace.”
Oh, dear God.
“Mother, please!
There is no need, really.
Mr. Jenkins did not scare me!”
Her mother breathed a sigh of relief.
“Good, good.
Because there really is nothing to fear.”
Olivia turned to her mother and grabbed her
hands, hoping to forestall any more embarrassing
reassurances.
“He did not scare me, Mother.
And if I were to marry, I would be quite lucky
to have him as a husband.
But I am not wifely material.
I would be awful!
I do as I please and neither you nor Papa
has ever been able to make me do otherwise.
That is not a good quality for a wife.
You must admit that.”
Her mother looked torn between a stubborn
refusal to admit the truth and the dashed
hopes of seeing all her daughters happily
married.
Olivia squeezed her hands.
“I respect Mr. Jenkins far too much to saddle
him with me for a wife.”
“Perhaps you do not respect him enough to
let him decide what he wants in a wife.”
Olivia stood, stowing her paints and brushes
quickly.
“He shouldn’t want me.
I should never have accosted him.
He is a good man, a decent man, an honorable
man!
And I, dear mother, am an idiot.
I should have seen this.”
“Seen what?
That a good, decent man would want to marry
you?
Of course he would!
You have many good qualities to offer a husband.”
“Oh, yes?
Do you think he would want me to take over
the books for him?
I shall certainly offer my services, but that
does not mean he should marry me.
I am what I am, Mother.
A spinster extraordinaire.”
“Olivia Blakesley!
Do not use that foul word in this household!”
“It is not a foul word.
And just because you attack anyone who utters
it doesn’t change the fact.
Can you not see what I am, who I am?
Nothing!
Nobody!
Five daughters married is enough!
I am happy!
I want nothing more!
I do not want Mr. Nathaniel Jenkins!”
Chapter Nine
Nathaniel was unsurprised when his sister
burst into his library.
He’d expected her much earlier.
“Nathaniel.”
“Diana.
How are you?”
“Good.
Hold him, won’t you?”
She thrust Nathaniel’s latest nephew into
his arms.
“He will not be put down and insists on
crying in my ear.”
Nathaniel held his nephew expertly, jiggling
the boy and making faces until he stopped
his wailing.
“What a mean mama you have, Jacob.
Doesn’t she know that crying is simply your
way of saying you want a biscuit?”
“Oh, Mama knows it.
His fondness for biscuits is why my arms are
about ready to fall off.”
She eyed him.
“It looks like children are in your future
after all, hmm?”
“If Mother has anything to say about it.”
Diana said, “She always does.
She approves of the girl, at least.
Not the usual shrinking violet and not a gold-digger.”
“No.
Olivia is quite unique.”
“And older?
I always thought an older girl would do better
for you.”
Nathaniel said, “Yes, amazing how everyone
comes to that conclusion after I’ve already
found her.”
“Oh, shush.
When am I to meet her?”
Nathaniel gratefully accepted a biscuit from
his butler, offering it to a suddenly alert
Jacob.
“That’s better, hmm little one?”
Diana eyed her youngest as he munched happily.
“Only if you’re not the one who has to
carry him all day.”
“Where’s the nanny?”
“Left.
He’s gone through four already.
I’ve started offering three days off with
pay to keep them a little longer.
You didn’t answer my question.”
Nathaniel grinned at her.
“No?
Well, I expect Mother has already told you.”
“That she won’t marry you?
Have you mentioned your sizable fortune?”
“Thank you, Diana.
I’m sure that will solve everything.”
She shrugged.
“If the girl is over twenty-five, I don’t
see what she is waiting for.
Perhaps she is simply worried about the business
end of marriage.”
“I’m not sure what she’s worried about.”
“Mother says she cried when she refused
you.”
He shook his head.
“Nearly cried.
Was there anything Mother didn’t tell you?”
“She didn’t tell me when I could meet
her.”
“I believe she is going to the Mayes affair
tonight.”
“Oh, really?
What extraordinarily good luck.”
“Don’t scare her off, Diana.”
She gave a ladylike snort.
“I assume you have not met her sisters.
She has five, did you know?
They can all hold their own quite well.
The eldest came out the same year as I. I
had thought her quite the original but each
sister seems to surpass the others one way
or another.
I doubt Miss Olivia Blakesley would even blink
at anything I said.”
“Nevertheless, I want her to join the family,
not run screaming from it.”
Diana smiled.
“She’s not met Mother, then?
Perhaps Miss Blakesley is refusing because
she is unsure of your sincerity.
She’s not met any of your relations, after
all.”
Nathaniel wiped biscuit crumbs from his knee
and offered another to Jacob.
“I fear she will find out all too soon that
I was showing her my fondest respect by keeping
my relations from her.”
“I’ll endeavor not to overwhelm her, but
I really don’t think you need to worry.
I fully expect Miss Blakesley to be able to
hold her own against me or Mother.”
She picked Jacob up, preparing to depart,
and raised an eyebrow at her brother.
“She is, after all, holding her own against
you.”
He grimaced, rising and kissing her cheek.
“It is my greatest character fault– finding
sweet, biddable women utterly boring.”
She laughed.
“Then you should be grateful you have none
in your life.
Till tonight brother, dear.”
Mary burst into Olivia’s room, the bedchamber
key dangling from her finger.
“A little trick I learned from you.”
Olivia glared at her.
“Go away.
That door was locked for a reason.”
“Yes, I know.
So you could mope about.
Oh, poor me.
I have been proposed to– the horror of it
all.
However will I survive!”
“Rot you, Mary.
You don’t have Mother harassing you into
an unsuitable marriage.”
Mary sat on the bed.
“Oh.
So you don’t love him then?
Forgive us.
We all thought you had formed quite the attachment.
I suspect he thought it as well.”
She watched Olivia intently.
“Tell me you don’t love him.”
“I don’t love him.
I should have cut it off but he is remarkably
persistent.”
“And you are quite the accomplished liar.
You should be treading the boards.”
“Must I fall in love with the first gentleman
who comes calling?”
“I have never seen you happier.
I have never seen a connection between two
people as I see with you.
It is as if you’ve known each other for
years, grew up with each other.”
She stood, taking Olivia’s hand.
“Olivia.
He is who you have been waiting for.
Why do you say no?”
Olivia whispered, “I tricked him.
He is infatuated only.
One day he will wake up and realize his mistake.”
Mary hugged her, squeezing hard.
“You’re a ninny.”
Olivia tried to pull away, but Mary held fast.
“He is not a boy, he is a grown man.
I would expect he is remarkably hard to trick.”
“Then how do you explain this madness, hmm?”
Mary laughed.
“He loves you, you silly twit!”
She shook her head.
“We must disagree.”
“Let’s go ask him.”
Olivia reared back in horror.
“What!”
“I’m sure he’ll be at the Mayes’ tonight.
We’ll ask him why he insisted on doing something
so foolish as proposing to you.”
“You have gone mad.”
“I don’t think I’m the mad one in this
room.”
Olivia pointed her finger at Mary.
“Do not dare embarrass me by asking him
anything.”
“Oh, do you care then what he thinks of
you and your family?
Intriguing.”
“Mary, promise me.”
Mary shrugged, heading toward the door.
“You’ll have to try and keep me from him
this evening.
And Rufus.”
She laughed.
“That would be even worse, don’t you think?”
Olivia sat unseeing on the bed, imagining
Mary and Rufus accosting Nathaniel and demanding
his declaration of love.
She whispered, “You are horrific.”
Mary stopped at the door.
“I would do anything to secure the future
happiness of my favorite sister.
Anything at all.”
“I thought you would be the one person I
could count on to be on my side.”
“Perhaps you should examine why I am not.
Perhaps you are in the wrong, Olivia.”
She waved.
“See you tonight, my dear.”
Olivia lay back on the bed.
For the first time in her life she felt outmatched
by her family and did not in the slightest
enjoy the experience.
“A Mr. Edward Blakesley to see you, sir.”
Nathaniel sat back unexpectedly.
He had not spoken to her father about his
intentions, mainly because he wasn’t certain
Olivia would ever accept him.
“Show him in please.”
Her father entered the study dressed as the
country gentleman he was.
His spectacles perched on his nose, his graying
hair clipped short.
Olivia took after him with her willowy frame.
Mr. Blakesley reminded him of his own father.
Quiet, calm, and ruled by the women in his
life.
Nathaniel’s mother and sister had run his
childhood home and he could see a similar
situation with Mr. Blakesley.
He felt a twinge of camaraderie for another
man surrounded by forceful women.
Mr. Blakesley smiled and took the seat Nathaniel
offered.
“Thank you, m’boy.
Once a man becomes a grandfather it seems
his energy is sucked away.”
“My father said something similar when my
oldest nephew was born.”
“It reminds us how far away our own childhood
was.”
Mr. Blakesley cleared his throat.
“I understand you have been pursuing my
daughter.”
“Yes, sir.
I’m sorry I have not spoken with you, but
considering she hasn’t accepted I thought
it prudent to wait.”
Mr. Blakesley chuckled.
“Yes.
That is what I came to speak to you about.
I thought I’d warn you that once Olivia
gets an idea in her head, it is notoriously
difficult to get out.
You have an uphill battle, I’m afraid.”
“I’ve noticed she does forge her own path.”
“That is certainly one way of putting it.
I’m the father of six girls, Mr. Jenkins.
They each have their own personalities and
traits, it seems like from birth.
I love them all dearly.
But I must confess that Olivia has always
had a special place in my heart.
There are not many men who know exactly what
they do and do not want, and go after it with
single-minded abandon the way she does.
It has turned my hair gray and given her mother
apoplexy on many occasions.”
Nathaniel smiled.
“I can certainly believe that, sir.”
“And I would not want anyone to change that
about her.”
“No, sir.”
Mr. Blakesley stared at him, appraising him.
Finally he nodded.
“However, none of us are infallible.
She has been wrong before and I think she
is wrong this time.
Olivia has never been so happy and I credit
that to you.
You seem to understand her and that is something
we should all be so lucky to find.”
He stood to his feet, waving Nathaniel down.
“I will give you a tip, m’boy.
Force will only make her dig her heels in
deeper.
But she will listen and gather evidence, and
when she has enough proof, she will change
her opinion.
Don’t give up.
Have patience.”
Mr. Blakesley winked.
“You’ll need plenty of it.”
Chapter Ten
The Mayes’ Ball was crowded and merry; everyone
was laughing and being overly happy.
Olivia could not keep a scowl off her face.
She had never been in a worse temper.
Her head pounded with every step she took
and every beat of the music.
Mary was attached to her like a limpet on
a rock and her mother watched her like a hawk
watching a mouse.
What were they expecting her to do?
Make a run for it through the garden?
She was here to keep them from confronting
Nathaniel!
She had been threatened and bullied into coming
and now they acted as if she was their prisoner.
It was nearly too much to bear.
Not to mention she had not seen Nathaniel
for days, not since he had lost his mind and
proposed to her.
Would he even be here?
If he came, would he acknowledge her?
Would she acknowledge him?
“Miss Blakesley?”
Olivia turned to find an elegantly dressed
woman she had never met before.
“Very shocking, I know– we have not been
introduced– but really, I can’t stand
to wait on such niceties.
I have a few words I’d like to say to you.”
“Perhaps a few of those words would be your
name?”
Diana smiled.
“I told Nathaniel I could not run you off.
I am Diana Cracraft, his sister.”
She nodded at Mary, though kept her focus
on Olivia.
Mary did not even try to hide her glee-filled
smile.
Olivia sighed.
“Oh.
Have you come to harass me into marrying your
brother?”
“Of course I have.
He seems quite taken with you despite your
rejection and I wanted to see why.”
“I really don’t know why he sees fit to
tell everyone I refused him.
I would think most men would keep that to
themselves.”
“Ah well, my brother is not like most men,
is he?
Besides, he expects to win you eventually.”
Diana stared at Olivia, as if willing her
to divulge her innermost secrets.
Olivia stared back, the silence lengthening,
until finally Diana conceded defeat, smiling
slightly.
“No, no.
Don’t tell me why you’ve refused.
That is, apparently, between you and my brother.
I will simply warn you.
If you have good reason not to accept Nathaniel’s
hand, then steer clear of him.
I will not have his heart broken– he is
a most sensitive man– and he deserves to
marry and have children.
Soon.”
Olivia inhaled deeply.
“Steer clear of Nathaniel?
So says the sister who has accosted me.”
Diana laughed.
“And if you don’t have good reason, then
stop playing with him and welcome to the family.
I assure you Mother and I are not so formidable
once you get to know us.”
Diana patted her hand, then waved to a friend
through the crowd.
“Ah, there is Emily Mayes.
I really must tell her to stop wearing that
dreadful feather in her hair.
I’ll come and have a chat sometime this
week, yes?
Until then, Miss Blakesley.”
Olivia watched as Nathaniel’s sister navigated
the crowds, then surreptitiously patted her
dress and hair.
She felt as if a very strong wind had blown
through.
No wonder he seemed to have a limitless supply
of patience and fortitude.
His sister had bred it into him.
Olivia shuddered at the thought of meeting
his mother.
Did the man have to tell all his relations?
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him.
She turned, glaring, and her temper sparked.
“Let go of my arm this instant, Mary.
There is someone I wish to yell at.”
Mary turned to look.
“Shall I come with you?”
“No, I don’t want you anywhere near him.”
Mary laughed and let go of her arm.
“Say hello from Rufus and me.
I think I will go contrive an introduction
to his sister.
She seemed an interesting sort.”
Olivia bit back her scream and made good on
her escape, targeting Nathaniel through the
crowd like a dog on a fox.
He met her halfway.
“Olivia, you look lovely.”
“Nathaniel, call off your family.”
He took her arm and they began to circulate
around the fringe of the dance floor.
“Are you being hounded, my dear?”
“As you well know.
Your mother has colluded with my mother, your
sister accosted me just moments ago, my family
will not give me a moments peace.
It is all your fault.”
“I don’t think you can lay your family’s
attentions on my shoulders, although I will
accept that my mother and sister can be quite
fearsome.”
“It is your fault.
If you had not told all and sundry that you
had proposed, I would not be the subject of
my family’s machinations.
If any of them approach you, you must make
a hasty exit; I fear a few of them have gone
quite mad.”
He laughed.
“My dear, you do know that all of this would
stop if you would simply say yes.”
“That was not our agreement.”
He sighed loudly.
“I do not know how to make this more plain,
Olivia.
I wish to make a new agreement.”
She sniffed.
“Our old agreement was working just fine.”
“Not for me.”
“This is really quite vexing.
You do know that normally it is the woman
who cannot get marriage out of her mind and
the gentleman who wants nothing more than
some fun.
I really was not expecting this scenario.”
Nathaniel stopped suddenly.
“Are you saying, my dear, that I am good
enough for some fun but not good enough for
marriage?”
She looked at him reproachfully.
“Of course that is not what I am saying.
Don’t be silly.”
“I am trying to understand.
You do not wish to marry me, yet you seem
quite happy to have my company.
Is it the idea of marriage to me or the idea
of marriage at all that you object to?”
She squeezed his arm.
“Oh, Nathaniel.
If I were to marry, I think you are the only
man I would ever risk it for.
But I do not think I will agree with marriage
at all.
I refuse in order to save us a great deal
of torment.”
He was silent a moment, thinking.
“Then I can only see two ways out of our
current predicament.”
She looked at him suspiciously.
“And they are?”
“One, we continue to abide by our original
agreement while I try to encourage you to
accept a new agreement.”
“And the other?”
“We say goodbye, end all public and private
interactions, and never see each other again.”
Olivia’s stomach knotted, her heart ached.
She whispered, “That would probably be for
the best.
It is the ending we agreed upon; it will happen
eventually.”
“If you have your way, yes.”
“I do not like that option at all.”
Nathaniel looked down at her.
“Neither do I. I much prefer to live with
the hope that one day I can talk you into
accepting my outrageous proposal.”
“Those are my only options, then?
Live with constant harassment or never see
you again?”
“That is how it appears to me.”
She eyed him critically.
“I am not at all sure you are worth the
aggravation.”
He deposited her to Mary and Rufus, bowing.
“Then I must prove that I am.”
Nathaniel joined his mother and sister on
a settee away from the dancing.
His sister raised an eyebrow.
“I assume there is no change in her answer?”
He nodded.
“Are you quite sure she is worth the effort?
Perhaps she has a very good reason for not
wanting to marry you.”
“It is not me she objects to but marriage
in general.
I think she quite likes me despite her reservations.”
“And you like her?”
He smiled.
“She constantly surprises me, makes me laugh,
challenges me.”
He laughed.
“I quite expected that whoever I proposed
to would fall over dead with gratitude.
I would win her hand in marriage but have
no desire to win her heart.
Olivia is the complete opposite.
I have her heart but she refuses my hand.
It is a most enjoyable skirmish.”
“You are a very strange fellow.”
“I wanted a different kind of girl.
There’s no one more different than Olivia;
her refusal only proves that.”
His mother smiled.
“You are so much like your father.
I’m afraid he had to ask me more than once
as well.”
She laughed.
“Stubborn women do very well in this family.
I shall pay her a visit.”
Diana nodded.
“Shall I come, too?
“Let’s keep you in the reserves, darling.
This may be a protracted battle.”
Nathaniel smiled.
“Don’t be put out, Diana.
I fully expect that Olivia will need constant
irritation.”
A few mornings later, Olivia was sitting with
her mother when the housekeeper announced
a visitor.
“Mrs. Anne Jenkins is here, ma’am.”
“Thank you, Hill.”
Olivia jumped to her feet and turned to her
mother reproachfully.
“Oh, Mother.”
“You sit down, Olivia.”
Mrs. Jenkins entered the cozy room, smiling
at Mrs. Blakesley.
“Mrs. Blakesley, how are you this morning?”
“In fine spirits, thank you.
Have you met my daughter Olivia?”
“Miss Blakesley.”
“Mrs. Jenkins.”
Mrs. Jenkins settled herself on the sofa,
accepting a cup of tea.
“So, Miss Blakesley.
I hear you have refused my son’s offer of
marriage.”
Olivia sighed.
“Yes, Mrs. Jenkins.”
“And why is that?
He is my son, and therefore I am biased of
course, but I cannot think why anyone would
refuse him.”
Olivia heard the unspoken– especially by
an old spinster like you.
She said, “I must assume, since he told
you I wouldn’t marry him, why as well.”
Mrs. Jenkins waved that suggestion away.
“He’s a man, what would he know about
a woman’s reluctance to marry.”
Olivia sat down and Mrs. Jenkins leaned forward
to pat her hand.
“Are you surprised that I understand?
Every woman must wonder about the man she
is marrying.
Every woman must wonder how her life will
change.”
Olivia turned to her mother.
“Were you apprehensive when you married
Papa?”
Mrs. Blakesley patted her other hand.
“Of course I was, Olivia.
I left my family to live with a man I’d
spoken to a handful of times.
It is upsetting at the best of times.
My father had made all of my decisions before
then, I knew what to expect, and suddenly
another man was to make those decisions.
I married a good man but there is a relearning
period no matter how good.”
Mrs. Jenkins said, “My son is a good man.
Although I wonder if you will have the same
worries and expectations your mother and I
did.
You are older, and with that comes a certain
independence of spirit.
I doubt if you will let my son make any decision
you do not approve of in regards to your situation.”
“It’s true, Olivia.
You never let your father or myself coerce
you into doing what we think is best.
And I hesitate to say this in front of his
mother, but I doubt you will let Mr. Jenkins
harass you into what he thinks is best either.”
Mrs. Jenkins smiled.
“I believe this proposal is a perfect example.
You won’t be pressured into marrying him
until you are ready.
I applaud that.
But I would like to see grandchildren before
the Good Lord calls me home.”
Olivia said, “Well, despite my apparently
normal hesitation, there are other reasons.”
Mrs. Jenkins sat back to get comfortable.
“And they are?”
Olivia blushed.
“Well…”
“Let me make this easy for you, Miss Blakesley.
Do you love my son?”
“There is nothing not to love.”
“That wasn’t the question.”
Olivia sighed.
“I refuse because I love him.
I will never be a biddable wife, never take
tea, go to operas, or follow the latest fashions.
I will do as I have always done.
Paint the stars, read my journals, and go
my own way.
That is nobody’s definition of a good wife,
Mrs. Jenkins.”
“A very pretty defense.
But Nathaniel would be bored silly with a
biddable wife, will never know the latest
fashions either, and abhors the opera.
You two seem perfect for each other.
And despite all your talk I think that is
what you are afraid of.
You have met your match, my dear.”
Mrs. Blakesley beamed at Mrs. Jenkins.
“I thought the same thing.
It comforts me to know you agree, Mrs. Jenkins.”
Olivia shook her head.
“It really is quite a pity then that one
of the parties involved has no intention of
changing her mind about this marriage business.”
Mrs. Jenkins put her cup down.
She cleared her throat.
She looked to Mrs. Blakesley and said quietly,
“Would you mind if I had a moment alone
with your daughter, Mrs. Blakesley?”
Mrs. Blakesley looked reproachfully at Olivia,
then stood.
“Good luck, Mrs. Jenkins.”
Mrs. Jenkins studied Olivia until the door
latched.
She leaned forward.
“I applaud your tenacity.
If I didn’t think you were being a fool,
I would congratulate you on remaining true
to your principles.
If I hadn’t heard with my own ears that
you love my son, I would say no woman should
be forced to marry.
And yet, you are an idiot.”
Olivia remained silent.
“Know this, Miss Blakesley.
My son finds you a fascinating challenge.
I have not seen him so happy or alive in many
years, and I would accept nearly any girl
who could make him smile as much as you do.”
She stood.
“I hope you are prepared for a siege, my
dear.
The Jenkins do not give up so easily.”
Chapter Eleven
Olivia crept through the darkness, cursing
herself for all the foolish ideas she had
ever come up with.
It seemed that old age was not giving the
wisdom promised.
Indeed not, since this was by far her maddest
scheme yet.
Nathaniel would probably not even be at home
and the evening would be wasted.
Where was she to sleep tonight?
She couldn’t go back home, she’d told
her mother she would be staying with Mary.
And how would she explain to Mary if she arrived
at her house after dark?
She should have left the sneaking to Nathaniel.
But that was the problem.
He hadn’t done any sneaking for days, weeks,
months.
It felt like an eternity.
She counted softly to herself.
Two weeks?
Was that all?
She’d fallen into blithering madness because
of two weeks?
Nathaniel was right.
The act of love was positively addicting.
Olivia peered at the number above the door,
praying this was the right one.
Dear Lord, what if it wasn’t?
She pulled her cloak lower over her face and
silently cursed Nathaniel.
This was all his fault.
He had not come calling since he’d proposed;
the last time they’d had any real conversation
had been at the Mayes’.
Instead, he sent his mother to badger her.
Her entire family was pestering her.
The one person she wouldn’t mind arguing
with stayed away.
She missed him.
The man was going to pay.
She knocked discreetly, terror gripping her
at the idea that this wasn’t his home.
What if it was his home but he was not here?
Where would she go?
The door was opened by a pair of shiny black
boots.
“Yes?”
Olivia swallowed and said in a bad French
accent, “I am come for Mr. Jenkins.
It is a matter of…l’amour.”
That was greeted with silence and Olivia wanted
fervently to hide behind a bush.
What had she been thinking!
“I don’t suppose you have a card, madam?”
“Um, non.”
The shiny black boots sighed.
“Please follow me.”
He led her down the hall into a study and
told her to wait.
She looked up after he had gone, studying
the comfortable chairs, books stacked on tables,
and a fire burning itself out.
She sniffed trying to place the scent in the
air, wondering if the butler had gone to fetch
Nathaniel or the authorities.
The door opened behind her and she quickly
looked down again.
“How may I help you, madam?”
Nathaniel asked and Olivia nearly swooned
with relief.
“Oh, Nathaniel!”
She ran to him, throwing herself into his
arms.
“Olivia!
What’s wrong!
What has happened!”
She pushed away from him, glaring at him,
remembering her anger.
“What’s wrong?
Where have you been!
I’ve been waiting for you for days, sitting
in the damp for nothing!”
He guided her toward the fire, taking off
her cloak.
He rubbed his forehead.
“Olivia, you refused me.
I was staying away to give us both time to
think.”
“If you’ll remember, Mr. Jenkins, we had
an agreement.
And it had nothing to do with marriage!”
“Sit down, Olivia.”
He walked to the sideboard, filling a glass
and thrusting it at her.
“Drink this.”
“What is it?” she asked as she sipped,
then coughed.
“Brandy.
It should warm you up.”
He stared at her, a perplexed look in his
eye.
“How did you get here?”
“I hired a hackney from the Rutherford’s.
I told Mother I was going home with Mary.
I walked a distance before choosing one; you
know they line up waiting to take everyone
home later.
I’m amazed it was so easy, really.”
Nathaniel slumped into a chair.
He muttered to himself, “Is this what marriage
would be like?
Afraid of the next harebrained scheme my wife
would come up with?”
Olivia rose in indignation.
“Since we will not be married, that is not
in question.”
“Then why have you come tonight, if not
to accept my hand and tell me how ardently
you love and admire me?”
“Don’t tease me, Nathaniel.
My nerves are shot from all this sneaking
around.”
“I am not teasing you, Olivia.
I am simply wondering why you have gone to
the trouble and risk of coming to my home
at night?”
She looked at him, unwilling to admit to him
that she couldn’t go two days without seeing
him, two weeks without feeling him.
It seemed too pathetic.
Better to blame it on curiosity.
He said, “And don’t feed me a line of
scientific studies.
Your parents may buy that mumbo-jumbo but
I do not.
The stars are the only thing you study.”
She sat down.
“It’s not mumbo-jumbo.
I wanted to see you purely for scientific
edification.”
His eyebrows raised.
“I mean I wanted to see if I could leave
undetected and as you are the only one I know
I chose to come here.
Obviously, it worked quite well.”
Nathaniel sat in silence, gazing at her.
“So you didn’t come to be kissed.”
“Of course not.
It has only been a few weeks, I assure you
I can last that long.”
“And you didn’t come to investigate my
bedroom.”
“How shocking!”
He smiled.
“I am constantly being surprised by you,
my dear.
I just wanted to make sure.”
“You can be quite sure I have no interest
in your boudoir, Nathaniel.”
“Are you certain?
Not even for scientific edification?”
Olivia clasped her hands in her lap.
“Well…for science…
I have actually never seen a man’s bedroom
before.”
“That reassures me no end.
Shall we?”
He stood, holding his hand out for her.
She took it gingerly, thankful that he had
not kicked her out into the night, and thankful
he had given her an excuse to stay.
Perhaps she could make it up to him.
He really was quite patient with her.
He guided her hand through his arm and whispered,
“I missed you as well, Olivia.”
She pulled her cloak over her head, in case
they ran into any servants, and Nathaniel
chuckled.
“Do you think that will keep your identity
hidden, my dear?”
“It will if you use a little decorum.”
“I hate to tell you this but my butler was
standing outside the library door listening.
I’m quite sure I used your Christian name.”
“You should never have got into that bad
habit.”
“Of course.
Would you have preferred me to use your family
name, Miss Blak–”
“Nathaniel!
Can’t you pretend I’m one of your doxies?”
“I am not in the habit of bringing women
to my home, Oli–” She glared at him from
under her cloak and he corrected himself.
“My dear.”
Olivia dug into the reticule dangling from
her wrist.
“I’m sure I shouldn’t show you this,
since you are behaving quite poorly.”
“It’s the shock.”
“But I thought you might help me with a
few scientific inquiries tonight.
Since I’m here.”
“Indeed?”
She pulled a miniature book out and handed
it to him as he opened his bedroom door and
ushered her in.
Olivia took a step in, surveying his large
four poster bed and dark masculine furnishings.
His scent filled the air and she breathed
deeply.
She had entered the lion’s lair.
Forbidden territory.
It was all quite exciting.
She said, “Your bed is quite a bit bigger
than mine.”
She turned to find him flipping through her
naughty book.
He looked up at her.
“Olivia, this is a…
This book is about…”
She grinned and hopped onto his bed.
“It’s quite dirty, isn’t it?
Page thirty-two, if you please.”
Nathaniel cleared his throat and turned to
a well done drawing showing a couple in obvious
ecstasy.
“Where did you get this?”
She waved her hand in the air.
“That’s not important.”
“Yes, it is.”
She sighed.
“I ordered it through the post, directing
it to a Mr. Oliver Balkesley.
My family thought it quite diverting and insisted
on calling me Oliver Balkesley for months
after.”
“And no one asked to see it?
They weren’t curious as to what a mysteriously
misdirected package contained?”
“Nathaniel, I am constantly receiving packages
in the post.
I told them it was a pocket guide to the stars.”
Nathaniel folded his arms.
“You have entirely too much freedom.”
She laughed.
“Which is what I’ve been telling you.”
She paused and looked at him expectantly.
He cleared his throat again.
“I should say no.”
“Why?”
“A misguided attempt to curb your impetus?”
She raised an eyebrow.
“I believe you are too far gone down this
road to become morally superior now, sir.”
She pointed to the little book clasped in
his hands.
“Have you ever performed such a feat?”
He groaned.
“Olivia.”
“I suspect you have, else you would have
been outraged at such a suggestion.
I would like to experience it please.
If you feel up to it, that is.”
She couldn’t quite keep the smirk off her
face after her pun.
She finally understood what that meant.
Nathaniel said, “Shall I throw you to the
bed and ravish you, then?”
Olivia clapped her hands.
“Oh, would you please!
You be the dashing pirate and I’ll be the
innocent virgin you have stolen to satisfy
your diabolical lusts.”
Nathaniel laughed.
“You were never an innocent virgin and the
only one with diabolical lusts in this room
is you.”
“Then you be the innocent virgin and I the
dashing, devilish pirate.
Hand me your pants, sirrah!”
He groaned.
“I have no idea where half your ideas come
from.”
“That’s the trouble with genius, so hard
to follow.
Now come here and let me ravish you.”
Chapter Twelve
Olivia woke next to a warm body, a heavy leg
trapping her.
She shoved against it, whispering, “Nathaniel,
I can’t feel my leg.”
He grunted and slid his leg off.
She cuddled beside him, his arm snaking around
her.
“Good morning, Olivia.”
“Good morning.
It’s quite nice waking up with you, even
if you did crush my leg.
You’re very warm.”
He grinned.
“Just think, Olivia, that could be yours
every morning if we married.”
“Harrumph.
Why do you have to ruin a perfectly good morning.”
“It’s my nature.
Would you like breakfast?”
“What about the servants?”
“I’ll have them make up a tray.”
He winked.
“That, too, could be yours every morning.”
Olivia sniffed.
“As if I was so lazy.
And I believe my waking up in a man’s bed
is proof positive that I would not make a
good wife.”
“As long as it was my bed you woke up in,
I believe you would make a very good wife.”
He began ticking off his fingers.
“Because you are entertaining.
You are intelligent.
You are passionate.
You have irresistible taste in dresses.
I really can find nothing wrong with the idea
of marriage.”
“I have thought of a new rule, Nathaniel.”
He murmured, “Only one?”
“No more mentions of marriage.
It quite puts me off.
And stop sending your family to change my
mind.
I have had enough lectures.
I’m surprised you haven’t sent for the
magistrates.
Tie this girl up, she refuses to marry me.”
“I could quite easily force your hand, Olivia.
You are in my bed, we have had intimate relations.
Your father has the right to force me to marry
you at sword-point.”
“Well, he wouldn’t force me at sword-point
and I would advise you not to try either.”
Nathaniel flung the covers off and rose.
He said, “If you do not wish to be forced
into marriage, I would advise that you dress
quickly.
I’ll need to deposit you somewhere less
questionable.”
“You can take me back home.
I’ll tell them I woke early.”
“Lies come unnervingly quick to you, Olivia.
Won’t your mother ask your sister?”
“No.
I go over often enough, she doesn’t question
it.”
He shook his head and muttered, “Too much
freedom, entirely.”
The cold ring of steel silenced the crickets
mid-song.
Nathaniel pushed Olivia behind him, cursing
himself for escorting her this early in the
morning.
Olivia gasped.
“Rufus!
What are you doing?”
He answered coldly.
“I could ask the same of you, Olivia.
And of you, Jenkins.”
She muttered, “Oh, bother,” under her
breath and attempted to push Nathaniel aside.
“He has a drawn sabre, Olivia.
Please stay behind me.”
Her very angry brother-in-law gazed in fury
at Nathaniel, and truth be told, he couldn’t
fault the look.
He deserved everything he got from the wicked
looking sword.
But he’d be damned if he got it in front
of Olivia.
Nathaniel said, “Mr. Eliot–”
“Unless you are going to tell me the announcement
has already been sent to the papers, I don’t
want to hear it, Jenkins.”
Olivia shouted, “Rufus!”
“Olivia, he is escorting you home in the
early morning.
And you told your mother you would be staying
with us last night.”
She gasped again.
“You didn’t tell her…”
“…No.”
“Oh, thank you.
I’m sorry, it was a dreadful thing to do,
but–”
“It was a stupid thing to do.
You are not only risking your reputation but
your entire family’s as well.”
Olivia said, “Yes, well, luckily I’m the
only one unmarried.”
Nathaniel interrupted.
“And luckily, I have already asked for Miss
Blakesley’s hand.”
The sharp end of the sword gently fell to
earth.
“Good.
But this is still a stupid idea, Jenkins.”
Olivia tugged at his coat.
“Uh, Nathaniel–”
“She however has refused me.”
She uttered a very unladylike word as Rufus
speared her with his iron-gaze.
“How extraordinary.”
“Rufus–”
“If you have no feelings for him, Olivia,
why are you sneaking around with him?”
Nathaniel turned to face her, secure in the
knowledge that he would not be stabbed in
the back by her angry relative.
Mr. Eliot’s anger was directed where it
should rightfully be.
“Yes, Olivia.
That question has been bothering me as well.”
Her eyes narrowed, her chin rose, and she
tapped her foot.
“As I have explained, at length, I do not
wish to marry.”
Rufus Eliot guffawed.
“It seems to me that you wish very much
to marry.”
Olivia blushed.
“You know nothing of it, Rufus.
And you, Mr. Jenkins, know what this is and
why I won’t marry you.
Rufus, please escort me home.
It would be a disaster if anyone else saw
us together.”
“It’ll give me a chance to tan your backside.”
“I dare you to try.”
Nathaniel rubbed his forehead.
“I’ll leave you to it, Eliot.
And you, Olivia, I shall see later.”
He spun on his heel, frustration flashing
in his eyes.
Olivia sighed, cursing herself for her brainless
ideas.
Cursing the world in general, and men in particular,
for making mountains out of mole hills.
Rufus sheathed his sabre, his jaw tight.
“Please don’t tell Mary, Rufie.”
“Why not?
You don’t seem to care who knows.”
“I care!
I was just stupid.”
“Olivia, you are walking a tightrope.
Jenkins has every right to force you into
marriage; he is being too soft-headed.
One word to your father would end this.”
“Rufus Eliot, you know nothing of the matter.
And not you, nor Father, nor Mr. Jenkins,
will make me do what I don’t want to.
So tell the whole world if you want.”
Olivia stomped off.
She could hear Rufus muttering and following
behind her.
This plan was going downhill and she wondered
if she’d ever been in control of this experiment.
Men were a lot harder to understand than the
stars.
Mary’s strident tones echoed through the
house.
“Hello, Mother.
Where’s Olivia?”
Olivia cursed Rufus and then herself.
He couldn’t keep his big mouth shut and
she had been the fool to try and sneak about.
Mary peeked her head around the door and Olivia
glared at her.
“I am going to kill your toad of a husband.”
“Mmm.
I believe you have some explaining to do.”
“He could have kept his big mouth shut.”
“And you could have stayed at home.
Now tell me, was it your idea to sneak off
with Mr. Jenkins?
Or did he pressure you in some way.”
Olivia sighed.
“It was my stupid idea.
I wanted to see him and I wanted to know if
I could sneak away undetected.
Obviously I forgot to plan for sneaking back.”
“Obviously.”
Mary sat beside her and stared.
“So?”
“So what?”
Mary wiggled her eyebrows.
“So how was your first night alone with
a man?”
“Mary!”
“Olivia!”
Olivia wiped her brush on the cloth.
“It was enjoyable.”
“Enjoyable.
This was your first night together, wasn’t
it?”
Olivia refused to look at her.
How could she tell Mary that it wasn’t?
Mary laughed.
“You little sneak.
Don’t tell me you’ve snuck off with him
before.”
Oh, to confide in someone.
Mary didn’t seem upset with her and it would
be nice to share her secrets.
She and Mary had always been close.
Olivia glanced at her.
“He came here.
After dark.”
“Ah.
So it’s not only the stars you’ve been
studying.
How is your Mr. Jenkins, then?”
“Mary!
Now you want details?
You wouldn’t give me any after you married
Rufus.
Technically, this is all your fault.
If you had told me anything, anything at all,
I wouldn’t have needed to conduct such an
experiment.
I would have taken your word on the subject.”
Mary said, “And stowed it away, problem
solved.
I know you, Olivia.
You have never worried about pleasing Mama
and finding a husband, and you’re too independent
to think you need one.
What does that leave?
You would die a spinster, living your whole
life under Papa’s roof, having the run of
everything, exactly as you please.”
“I’m sorry, is something wrong with that
scenario?
It seems quite pleasant to me.”
“Thankfully, I know better.
That is boring, Livvy.
Yes, yes, you would have your studies, but
no family.
No interruptions, no surprises.
Having a plan is all well and good, but distractions
are sometimes better.”
Olivia raised her eyebrows.
“I find this hard to believe coming from
someone who has known who she would marry
since she was five years old.”
“That wasn’t a plan, Livvy, that just
was.
I can’t help it if I found my mate so young.”
“So you want me to have distractions.
That’s why you wouldn’t tell me about
your wedding night.”
Olivia narrowed her eyes.
“It was your wedding night, wasn’t it?”
Mary gave her a small smile.
“Of course it was my wedding night, as we
were married that day.
But was that the first time we were intimate?
That was the night before we became engaged.
Rufus was so distraught about the whole thing
he ran to Father the next day.”
“I can’t believe you never told me!”
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t
want you getting any ideas.
That was clearly short-sighted of me; you
don’t need my help in thinking up crazy
ideas.”
Olivia balled her fist and pounded her leg.
“And I can’t believe your toady husband
was so self-righteously smug!”
“Olivia, you have a strange concept of the
world.
Rufus, although of course he loved me, had
ruined me, therefore he had to marry me.
Mr. Jenkins has ruined you, therefore he has
to marry you.”
“Our situations are vastly different, Mary.
You were but eighteen and I am twenty-seven.
If you and Rufus and Nathaniel will simply
be quiet about it, no one need know that I
am ruined.
It’s not as if I was marriageable material
before, anyway.”
Mary fingered the paint pots.
“Do you not like Mr. Jenkins?”
“Well, of course I like him.
I would not have done such a thing if I didn’t.”
Mary eyed her.
“Sometimes I think it doesn’t matter if
you like the idea or not, as long as you find
a solution to your problem.”
Olivia glared at her.
“That is a terrible thing to say.
I am not immoral.”
“I believe the vicar would argue that.”
“I believe the vicar would argue that you
are immoral.
Simply because you married afterward does
not change the fact.”
Mary shrugged.
“The vicar would likely argue that the king
is immoral.”
“The king is immoral.”
“So he is.
But that doesn’t change the fact that you
are a ruined woman.
You must marry Mr. Jenkins.
Soon, Olivia.
There are consequences to your actions that
will not wait for you to change your mind.”
Olivia stared out the window.
“There is nothing to worry on that regard,
Mary.
There are no unexpected consequences.”
“Do you not wish to have children?”
Olivia glanced at her.
A touchy subject, she knew.
“I am an aunt many times over.
That’s enough for me.”
Mary snorted.
“You can lie to yourself, Livvy, but I at
least know there is a vast difference between
being an aunt and a mother.”
“I know, but it doesn’t call to me.
I don’t lie awake picturing my child.”
Mary rubbed her belly lightly, then nodded.
“I understand.
It won’t be the end of the world if you
don’t have one.”
“No matter what Mama thinks.
How many grandchildren does one woman need?”
“I think she wants granddaughters.”
Olivia conceded the point.
The newest generation was overrun with boys.
Mary said, “What of Mr. Jenkins?”
“What of him?”
“Where does he stand in all this?
I thought you liked him.
I thought he liked you.”
“I do like him, and I believe he does like
me.
But that was never part of our agreement.
He agreed to certain rules.”
Olivia sighed.
She should end it now.
She should write him a quick note telling
him his services were no longer needed.
She didn’t know if she could do it, though.
How could she give up the best times of her
life?
Why should she have to?
Damn men and their rules.
Damn marriage.
She could be quite happy as a kept woman.
As long as she was Nathaniel’s kept woman.
What need had she of society?
She could endure the jeers of the ton, the
insults.
Oh, if only she was an only child, with no
family to suffer for her actions.
Mary looked intrigued at the idea of an agreement
but merely said, “Agreements change, Olivia.
You like him, he likes you.
Why are we having this conversation?
We should be celebrating your engagement.”
“It is marriage I do not care for.”
“What have you against marriage?”
“Have you met our parents?
They’re miserable.”
Mary studied her.
“I don’t think they’re miserable.”
“They have nothing in common, rarely talk
to each other, and remember the fights they
used to have?
I’m surprised any of us married.”
“I don’t remember them fighting.
And they have six children in common.
I think that’s something.”
Olivia sighed.
“You’ve been in love with Rufus since
before you could walk.
You were oblivious to our parents strife.”
“And you are too sensitive.
You notice every little detail, but miss the
big picture.
They’re happy together now, don’t you
agree?”
Olivia shrugged.
“They seem resigned.”
Mary narrowed her eyes.
“What of Rufus and me?
Do you think that we fight all the time and
have nothing to talk about and nothing in
common?”
“No.”
“But?”
Olivia pinched her lips.
“But I don’t think it will last.
I don’t want to be mean, but I’ve never
seen any marriage stay happy.
For instance, Prudence.
She’s so miserable, I can hardly stand to
be around her.”
“Prudence is pregnant with her fifth child
in six years and you know how swollen she
gets at the end.
I don’t think that’s a fair example.
Besides, just the fact that this is the fifth
baby means that she and Marcus have something
in common.”
“A bed.”
Mary laughed.
“Yes, a bed.
And don’t knock it.
Prue could keep him out if she wanted.
Just as Mama could have kept Papa out and
they had six.”
Olivia shook her head.
“I know she has what she wants, as does
Mama, and so do you.
It’s just…
It’s just that I don’t want it.
I don’t want to be stuck with someone that
I hate, eating meals in silence, or relying
on my children for love.
I don’t want that, Mary.”
“And you think that will happen with Mr.
Jenkins?”
“It’s inevitable.
One day he will look at me with loathing instead
of passion.
One day he will think himself a fool for letting
his emotions push him into marrying so unsuitably.
I need only look at Papa to see how it will
happen.”
She shook her head and whispered, “I could
not bear it if I saw Nathaniel look at me
like that.”
Mary took her hand gently.
“I never realized how pessimistic you are.”
“I’m realistic.
I refuse to be blinded by love.”
“No, you’re blinded by fear.”
Olivia was silent.
Mary patted her arm.
“You are not Mama, Mr. Jenkins is not Papa.
If anyone can have a marriage worthy of love,
it is you, Livvy.
You can make anything work.
The only question is, do you want to make
it work with Mr. Jenkins?”
Chapter Thirteen
“Aunt Livvy, Aunt Livvy!
We have a surprise for you!”
“You do?”
Olivia grunted as she caught her five-year-old
nephew as he flung himself into her arms.
Olivia’s eldest sister Prudence lumbered
from the coach.
“Yes, but not yet, Richie.
It’s a surprise.”
“I told her it was a surprise.”
“Hmm.
We’ll have to work on that.”
Olivia let Richie go as he spied his cousins.
She kissed Prue on the cheek and said, “How’s
the little devil?”
Prue grunted.
“This is the last one, I swear.
I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and my ankles!
I look like a cow.”
“You’ve said each one was the last one,
so I can hardly believe you now.”
“I keep having boys!
Four boys in a row!
Even God could not be so cruel.
I deserve a girl, surely.”
Olivia said, “And if this one’s a boy?”
“Don’t curse me.
If this one’s a boy, Marcus will be sleeping
with his horses.”
“Mmm.
And you’ll have another.
Mother didn’t learn her lesson until she
had six.
I doubt you’ll give up before then either.”
Prudence groaned.
“Every night I pray to God that I will do
anything, anything, if He’ll just make sure
this one is a girl.”
“Then how can He refuse.
Come, Prue.
I have a seat all set up for you in the pasture.”
Prudence swatted her.
“Just wait until you start waddling around.
I’ll not hold my glee.”
Prudence eyed her.
“Is your Mr. Jenkins coming today?”
“He is not my Mr. Jenkins.”
“I think the lady doth protest too much.
He is certainly no one else’s.
He only dances with you at balls, I hear.
Two dances, then poof.”
Olivia narrowed her eyes.
“I’m going to cut out Mary’s tongue.”
“Tut-tut.
Does your Mr. Jenkins know how violent you
are?
Oh, never fear, dear.
I certainly won’t tell him.
He’ll find out soon enough after the wedding
when you lock him in his bedroom so you can
paint in peace.”
Was Olivia never to live that down?
She had been in braids when she had pulled
that little stunt.
She changed the subject.
“Have you heard if Eugenia is coming today?”
“She said she would try, although she is
feeling a little under the weather.”
Prudence winked.
“I believe a wedding-night baby is on the
way.”
“Egad.
Two sisters expecting at the same time?
How will we ever survive.”
“Mmm.
At least I’m almost done.
I feel bad for Mary, though.
She laughed it off when Amelia became pregnant
right away, but it has been four years now.
What will she think when she hears about Eugenia?”
Olivia said, “Probably the same thing I
thought when I heard Eugenia was getting married.
Rot her.
The youngest should never do anything before
the eldest have had their turn.”
Prudence chuckled.
“I would have given you my monthly allowance
if you’d said that to Eugenia when she was
getting married.
Perhaps I’ll mention it to Mary.”
Luncheon was served picnic-style.
Cold ham, diced potatoes, and light wine.
The men and children sprawled in the grass;
the ladies sat in chairs.
Eugenia stood up and announced that, yes,
she was in the family way.
Mrs. Blakesley clapped her hands, the men
congratulated Landon, and Mr. Blakesley said,
“We can never have too many babies.”
Olivia snorted.
If this family had anything in excess, it
was babies.
Mary entered the melée with, “Rot you,
Eugenia,” and everyone turned to stare at
her.
Prudence hid her chortle behind a very loud
cough that turned into a real fit.
Olivia pounded her on the back.
Eugenia fingered her lace collar.
“I’m sorry, Mary.
I don’t mean to be cruel but just because
you can’t have a baby doesn’t mean everyone
can’t be happy for me.”
Mary looked unperturbed.
“I can have a baby, you twit.
I simply wanted to tell everyone first.”
Prudence stopped coughing.
“Are you truly?”
Mary patted her tummy.
“Around Christmas.”
Mrs. Blakesley jumped from her chair and ran
to hug Mary.
“A Christmas baby!”
Marcus leaned toward Rufus and whispered,
“About bloody time.
Prudence wanted me to see if you needed any
tips,” and Rufus turned bright red.
Prudence narrowed her eyes.
“I don’t remember you being ill at all.”
Mary smirked.
“Not a stitch.
Felt better than ever.”
“Rot you.”
Mrs. Blakesley frowned at her.
“Prudence, language!”
Olivia rubbed her forehead.
“Three sisters?
That’s half the Blakesley bunch.
I hope one of you has a girl.
Poor little Margaret is surrounded over there
by seven boys.”
Eugenia stamped her foot.
“Hello!
I’m pregnant as well, Mama!”
Mrs. Blakesley hugged her.
“I know, dear.
And we are excited about that as well.
It’s just we’ve been waiting so long for
Mary.”
“I don’t see why that makes any difference.”
Prudence sighed.
“That’s because you’ve never learned
the art of anticipation, Eugenia.
The longer it takes, the better it is.
That’s why Olivia’s wedding is going to
be the best of the bunch.
Because we’ve all been waiting so long.”
Mrs. Blakesley speared her third oldest daughter
with the look, but it was too late.
“Rot you, Prue.”
Eugenia sat beside Olivia.
“Is your Mr. Jenkins coming today?
I should think we’d all like to meet him.”
Mary hid a snigger behind her hand and Olivia
glared at her.
“No.
And he’s not my Mr. Jenkins.”
“Really?
The way Mary tells it, the engagement is as
good as announced.”
“Mary is a twit.”
Mrs. Blakesley clapped her hands.
“That is enough, girls!
There are children present.”
Little Richie peeked out from behind his father’s
chair and said, “Twit.”
Prudence leaned over and whispered, “Don’t
worry, Livvy.
He didn’t learn that from you.”
She pointed a finger at her eavesdropping
child.
“Run off and play with your cousins, Richie.”
“But when are we going to give Aunt Livvy
her surprise?”
Mr. Blakesley jumped up.
“Quite right.
Shall we go get it, Richie?”
“Yes!”
Olivia turned to Mary.
“And have you all known about this surprise?”
Eugenia grinned.
“Of course we have.
And I’m surprised Mary didn’t let you
in on it.”
Olivia was surprised, too.
Mary shrugged.
“I would have told you if I’d thought
you wouldn’t like it.”
“That is comforting.”
Mrs. Blakesley swatted at Mary.
“Oh, it’s quite exciting.
I think, Olivia, that you will be over the
moon.”
Richie ran across the lawn, waving a small
wrapped package, Grandpapa trailing behind
him.
Olivia said, “I’ll have to assume it’s
not breakable.”
Margaret and six more little boys came running
over to sit by Aunt Livvy.
Richie held the gift in his hands.
“You must wait for Grandpapa.”
Olivia nodded.
“May I hold it?”
Prue shook her head.
“Don’t give it to her until Grandpapa
is here.
We don’t want her cheating.”
“Mama says no, Aunt Livvy.”
“Well then, what does it feel like?”
A chorus of yells and boos greeted her question
and she sat back, grinning at her family.
It wasn’t even her birthday.
A thought crossed her mind that it had something
to do with Nathaniel and she nearly groaned.
What would her family do when she broke off
their agreement and never saw him again?
Hang her, most likely.
Mr. Blakesley resumed his chair.
“Go ahead, Richie.
Let her open it.”
Richie solemnly handed her the gift and Olivia
felt through the wrapping.
She bent it in half, and looked up.
“It feels like a magazine.”
The children yelled at her to open it, and
so she did.
She looked for a moment in consternation.
“It’s my monthly star magazine.
Have you renewed my subscription?”
Mrs. Blakesley leaned forward.
“No, silly.
Open it.”
She opened it and read the contents page and
felt the blood drain from her face.
“My article,” she whispered.
“They published my article.”
Mr. Blakesley leaned forward.
“With drawings!
Look at the article, my dear.
Everything is in detail.
Quite extraordinary.
None of the other articles have drawings half
so well done.”
“You sent in my article to be published
after they’d already rejected it?”
“And look, Olivia,” Mrs. Blakesley leaned
forward,” with your own name, not some silly
fake one.”
She looked up at her family, all smiling and
happy for her, and bit back her retort.
Not some silly fake name?
This was exciting?
The entire world was going to laugh at her.
Oh, her family thought it fun that she studied
the stars, but it wasn’t going to impress
anybody else.
It would just make them laugh harder.
She said numbly, “Thank you.”
Prudence nudged her.
“Come, Olivia.
Is that all you have to say?
Your name!
In a respected journal.”
Olivia looked down again, scanning her article,
eying her drawings.
She had hoped one day to find her work accepted.
But the article had needed more work.
And she definitely wouldn’t have used her
own name!
“It’s overwhelming.
I can’t think what to say.”
Her father smiled.
“Let the poor girl get her head around it.
It’s not every day the Blakesley name is
put in print.”
Marcus slapped his knee.
“Well, pass it around.
Let us have a look at it.”
The children gathered around him and they
loudly exclaimed at the drawings.
Mr. Blakesley winked at her.
“Well done, Livvy.”
Olivia smiled, wondering how big a debacle
this would create.
Mary slipped her arm through Olivia’s and
steered her towards the trees.
“You hated it.
Even I thought you would be excited.”
“You thought I would like having my name
bandied about?
“Oh, Olivia.
No one will care a fig if you’ve published
in a magazine.
I doubt anyone will even know.”
“Did none of you think this would cause
a stir in society?”
“Olivia, no one but you reads those dreadfully
dull tomes.
And no, I don’t think it will cause a stir.
Why should it?”
“Because I am already odd man out, that’s
why.”
Mary eyed her.
“Are you worried about your Mr. Jenkins
reaction?”
“Aaargh!
He is not my Mr. Jenkins.”
Mary laughed.
“Of course not.
Anyway, everyone in the family is quite proud
of you.
Especially Papa.
And I know you don’t care at all what society
thinks of you anyway.
We shall simply see if Mr. Jenkins is worthy
of you, shan’t we?”
Chapter Fourteen
Olivia heard the murmurings as soon as she
entered the ballroom.
She hissed at Mary, “See.
No one will care a fig, my ars–”
“Miss Blakesley, tell me is it true?
Do you write for a magazine?”
Miss Emily Mayes fluttered her fan.
Oh, to confirm this scandal would be the height
of the season.
Olivia took a deep breath.
“I fear I don’t know what you are referring
to.”
Miss Mayes slipped her arm through Olivia’s
and walked her round the ring of on-lookers.
“Well, according to Papa, there was an entry
in this month’s star journal done by a Miss
Olivia Blakesley.”
“Hmm.
I would like to see that.
But Miss Mayes, it’s not an uncommon name.
Perhaps there is another Olivia Blakesley.”
“Who is batty over the stars?”
“That is a bit of a coincidence, but I assure
you, I would never send an article to a magazine.”
Under her own name.
Olivia bit back her anger.
How dare her family do this to her.
Was it not enough to be the black sheep of
the family, did they have to advertise that
fact?
Mary came to rescue her, expertly slipping
between Miss Mayes and Olivia.
“Miss Mayes.
Have you heard the news?”
“Indeed I have.
Although Miss Blakesley is playing dumb.”
Mary looked confused for a moment, then waved
her hand.
“Oh, that.
Diverting isn’t it, that there could be
two Olivia Blakesley’s nutty over the stars?
But have you heard about Caroline Drew?
She has gone to the continent!”
Miss Mayes sucked in her breath.
“No!”
Olivia slunk away, thankful for Mary and her
gossip for once in her life.
Poor Miss Drew’s exodus to the continent
during the season could only mean one thing
in the eyes of the ton.
Poor Miss Drew had been ruined and she was
leaving to hide the evidence.
For one brief moment Olivia felt a little
sympathy nausea for Poor Miss Drew.
What if Olivia needed to escape to the continent?
Dear Lord.
“Hello, my dear,” a soft voice murmured
behind her.
She turned unsteadily.
“Mr. Jenkins.”
One eyebrow arched at her, funning her attempt
at formality.
“I thought we were passed all that, Olivia.”
She shook her head.
“I have begun to rethink my actions in light
of this latest news.”
“Come, Olivia.
You don’t think an article in a scientific
journal would make me think less of you?”
For an instant her anger resurfaced.
“My damn family.”
Nathaniel chuckled.
“Indeed, it must be slightly embarrassing
for you, but you seem to be handling it.
And, in all truth, the article doesn’t surprise
me at all.
I think you are capable of anything.”
“I don’t think that was a compliment,
Nathaniel.”
He squeezed her hand.
“You should take it as such.”
“But that wasn’t what I was rethinking.
Poor Miss Drew has made me reconsider our
agreement.”
“Aah.”
“Yes, aah.
What if–”
“My dear, Miss Drew’s situation and your
own have nothing in common.
If the unthinkable happened, then I would
simply kidnap you and tie you to a horse until
we had reached Scotland.”
Olivia’s mouth dropped open and she stared
at him.
Why, he seemed quite cheerful about the prospect.
“Mr. Jenkins!
You would do no such thing!”
“I would.
I’ve been considering it already.”
Olivia had nothing to say to that.
Nathaniel said, “Shall we dance, my dear?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Oh?
Do you think attracting everyone’s attention
back to yourself after being so fortuitously
diverted by Miss Drew is a better one?
I shudder to think what rumors would circulate
if we did not dance together.
A falling out, perhaps?
Or do I disapprove of my future wife having
her name published?
I can think of no better way to acknowledge
your accomplishment, my dear.”
Olivia narrowed her eyes.
“You have a serious flaw, Mr. Jenkins.”
He bowed, his eyes twinkling.
He swept her on to the dance floor, holding
her at a respectable distance.
He said, “Your brother-in-law is glaring
daggers at me.”
She sighed.
“I will have a word with him.
I am sorry, Nathaniel.”
“I don’t think speaking with him will
alleviate the situation, Olivia.
I have taken advantage of you, I must make
repairs.
Or perhaps you would tell him that you took
advantage of me?
He might not believe you, but it is a generous
offer.”
“You are being uncommonly cruel tonight.”
“I apologize.
I am uncommonly frustrated.
I was told you were stubborn, but I had not
expected to find a mule in so becoming a bonnet.”
Olivia gritted her teeth.
“And I had not expected to find a jackass
in hat and tails.”
He quickly covered his guffaw with a large
cough, smiling his apologies at the other
couples.
He held her tighter for one moment, before
letting her move to a more polite distance.
He said softly, “Marry me.”
“Why?”
“Because I have never found another lady
who could call me vulgar names while waltzing.
It’s intoxicating.”
“You are very strange, Nathaniel.”
“We are a perfect match then, aren’t we?”
Olivia bit back her answer.
For one moment, she had almost agreed with
him.
“Nathaniel–”
“If you’re going to berate me, I’ll
have you know it will do no good.
I am just as stubborn as you.”
“More so, I would say.
I was merely going to remind you of the No
Marriage Rule.
You agreed to not bring it up.”
He shook his head.
“I don’t believe I did, my dear.”
“Yes, you did.
When we began our tra–”
“If you call our relationship a transaction,
I shall dump you on the floor.”
“–relationship, you agreed to abide by
my rules.”
“I don’t believe I did.
I agreed to listen to your rules and tell
you if they’re complete twaddle.
This No Marriage Rule is complete twaddle
and I won’t abide by it.”
Olivia stared at him in frustration.
“If we weren’t dancing I would bash you
over the head with my reticule.”
“Then it’s a good thing we’re dancing.
Are you free for the next one as well, my
dear?”
A small growl escaped her throat and Nathaniel
grinned down at her.
“If I had any compassion at all, I would
leave you alone.
Alas.”
“You are deliberately goading me.”
“Yes.
It livens things up a bit for me.
And it confuses your brother-in-law.
He doesn’t know who to glare at, you or
me.”
Olivia had thought women were the diabolical
schemers, the ones unable to think of anything
but marriage.
Nathaniel and Rufus would give the most intense
mama a run for her money.
Nathaniel twirled them around the dance floor,
keeping hold of her between dances, ignoring
her token protest.
At this point, no one would be surprised at
two dances in a row.
He said, “I trust, my dear, you have no
adventures planned for this evening?”
She scowled.
“You trust correctly.
While it was quite exhilarating, I found the
ending not to my liking.
I have no desire to run into Rufus again;
no doubt he would be dragging a vicar along
with him this time.”
She looked at him from the corner of her eye.
“Do you have any adventures planned for
this evening?”
“Perhaps.
If I can find the fortitude to brave the cold,
the hard, the unrelenting.”
Olivia shook her head, her eyes beseeching
the heavens.
“Fortitude may not be necessary; I am not
out there studying the stars every night.
Perhaps you will discover there is no one
to share the cold and the hard with you.”
“A fate I would no doubt deserve.”
She said, “Indeed,” and he laughed.
Nathaniel escorted her back to Mary.
Olivia glared daggers at her sister.
She would not put it past Mary to demand Nathaniel’s
declaration here and now.
And Olivia feared he would oblige, professing
his undying love for everyone to hear.
Thankfully, they remembered propriety, though
Mary conversed with an evil twinkle in her
eye.
The headache that had weakened in Nathaniel’s
company came back with force, and Olivia excused
herself as soon as he left.
She found a quiet chair, hidden slightly by
a tall potted plant, and allowed herself a
moment to relax.
She wondered briefly if she had the stamina
to continue fighting Nathaniel and her family.
She was finding them more wearisome than she’d
expected.
Conversation flowed around her, easily ignored,
until she heard a strident feminine voice
say, “And there goes Mr. Jenkins.
He’s done his two with Miss Blakesley.”
A second woman snickered.
“And still no announcement.
What is the delay, I wonder?”
“Someone must have an objection to the match,
his mother perhaps?
Her family must be over the moon.
If I was Miss Blakesley, I would be pressing
for an announcement soon.
An angry mother-in-law would be worth the
prize.
She can’t afford to lose him at this point;
who knows how she managed to snare him.”
The women wandered off and Olivia remained
sitting behind her plant.
She was not surprised by their conversation.
She only felt sorrow that Nathaniel and his
family suffered from such gossip.
She sighed, a heartfelt sound that seemed
to encapsulate her predicament perfectly,
and then rose tiredly to find her family.
She could not bear to stay any longer.
Despite her threats, Nathaniel found Olivia
exactly where he thought she would be.
It was a clear night, after all.
She was sitting in her chair, her sketchbook
lying at her feet.
She glanced in his direction, then returned
to her stars.
He sat companionably at her feet, watching
with her.
A few clouds skidded across the night sky.
“Tell me why your father allows you outside
any night you wish.”
“He really didn’t have any say in the
matter.
When he found I’d been sneaking out, he
grounded me and took away my telescope.
So I stole the house keys and locked everyone
in their bedrooms while I went outside to
paint.”
“Remind me not to forbid you anything you
desire.”
He looked down at her sketchbook.
“May I?”
Olivia nodded, trying to see her art with
new eyes.
Trying to see what the world saw.
A hopeless hack?
Or a passionate artist?
He flipped the papers, then looked back up
at her.
“Tell me why you study the stars so.”
Olivia pointed to a group of stars, sketching
the shape with her finger.
“That’s the great bear, Ursa Major.
It always comes back to the same place in
the night sky, but it’s always moving.
Predictable, but not stagnant.”
Nathaniel watched her.
“Olivia, I didn’t tell you the most important
reason why I wanted to marry you.”
She looked down at him.
“I love you.
Now that I have found you, I cannot live without
you.”
She looked so sad, her faced bathed in moonlight.
“I could never marry anyone other than you,
Nathaniel, but I’m afraid.”
“I didn’t think you were afraid of anything.
You sit outside alone at night and proposition
strange men.”
She smiled slightly.
“You were never strange.
I knew you at first glance.”
“So what are you afraid of?
You know me.”
He pointed at the stars and grinned.
“I’m always the same and predictable,
but never stagnant.”
He rose to his knees, kissing her gently.
“I love you, Olivia.
Be my bright light in the darkness.”
She grabbed his hand, willing herself not
to cry.
“Nathaniel.
You have been so patient, waiting for me to
realize how much you love me, how much I love
you.
And I do.”
He kissed her, his eyes shining.
“But I will not change my mind.
No matter the advice my family heaps on me,
no matter how kind-hearted you are, no matter
the promises you make.
Marriage and I do not mix.
I can’t marry you.
And it has been cruel of me to keep you.
Your sister told me that you deserved a family.
Wife and children and a happy home.
You do.
More than anyone I have ever known, you deserve
to be happy.”
Nathaniel stared at her, his face closed.
“So you wish to continue with this, then?
Sneaking about, hard grounds, whispers behind
fans.
You enjoy this?”
Olivia stood, clutching her sketch pad to
her chest.
“No.
You have taught me passion, and lust, and
love.
Everything I wanted to learn.
It was never meant to go on forever.
I believe our transaction is over.”
He flinched, his jaw clenched, and he looked
past her shoulder.
Olivia willed the tears not to fall.
She could not marry him, and she could not
go on as they were.
The humane thing was to let him go, let him
live his life without her.
She said, “I hope you find a–”
“If that is your last word on the matter,
I will leave you to your stars.
Goodbye, Miss Blakesley.”
He strode from her angrily, his hands fisted.
His eyes met hers as he descended down the
ladder and she saw what she had always feared.
Hate.
Loathing.
And hurt.
She whispered, “Goodbye, Nathaniel.
I hope you find someone better than me.”
Chapter Fifteen
Olivia watched sadly as the last of London
flew by.
Her last season, her last trip to London,
the last of balls and rumors and dirty air.
She would not be coming back, and for a moment
she grew wistful.
This year had been different.
Nathaniel had changed everything.
For once she had not been the object of pitiful
stares and fearful comparisons.
For once she had not been laughed at.
She, Olivia Blakesley, spinster extraordinaire,
had been normal.
Except for the article.
That hadn’t been normal.
But Nathaniel’s obvious unconcern had shortened
the life of the scandal considerably.
Olivia’s reputation would be even more infamous
now.
In the eyes of the ton she had either lost
or rejected Nathaniel’s suit.
She would take odds that no one thought she
had rejected him.
What sane woman would?
What sane spinster would?
She sighed, dropping the curtain, and settled
back into her seat.
Thankfully, she need never hear the whispers,
the rumors, again.
She would go back to her quiet house and her
quiet stars and paint.
She would live her life as she planned it,
with no distractions, no surprises.
With no Nathaniel.
She had done the right thing.
No matter how it hurt to let him go, he deserved
better.
In a few months, after they had spent time
apart, they both would realize their affection
for each other had been passing.
She would remember for the rest of her days
what it had been like to love and be loved.
That was all she had asked for.
A moment.
Not a lifetime.
That was enough for her.
And she would continue to tell herself so
until she believed it.
Her father cleared his throat quietly.
He had sat across from her in the small confines
of the coach reading quietly until now.
“I hear Mr. Jenkins asked for your hand.
And you refused.”
Olivia glanced at him.
“Yes.
I wasn’t sure you knew; you didn’t say
anything.”
“I knew.
Your mother has been quite distraught.”
She smiled slightly.
“Yes, I’ve heard her.
All of London heard her.
But Papa, it will work out fine.
I’ve planned it all, and no one should worry.
The spinster’s life will work well for me.
I’ll have plenty of time for my studies.
And I can run the estate just as well as you
can.
Marcus will let me stay here after you and
Mama have gone.”
She touched his arm, apologizing for bringing
up a sad subject.
He said, “I do not doubt that you will run
the place better than I.
But that is not what I’m concerned about.”
He looked out the window.
“The greatest pleasures I have had in my
life have been at home.
With my wife and children surrounding me.”
He sighed.
“When you children were young, the house
was filled with noise and activity.
Scraped knees to be kissed, tears to be dried,
dolls to be admired.
Looking back at my life, I realize those are
the memories I return to time and again.
I would not want you to miss that, Olivia.
You, of all my children, study and watch and
listen.
You have great insight into the human condition.”
“I like to make sense of life, Papa.”
He smiled and patted her hand.
“Yes.
But I fear you sometimes prefer to watch rather
than do.
A student of the wind and waves would not
hesitate to jump on a boat or frolic in the
ocean to study more deeply.
I would not want you to miss this opportunity
to study life more in depth.
A husband and children would not take from
the experience, but add.”
Olivia stared unseeing out the window.
“But what if I’m afraid?”
“Do you fear Mr. Jenkins?”
“I fear myself.
I wonder if I’ll forget who I am and try
to be his perfect wife.”
Mr. Blakesley laughed.
“You have never tried to be a perfect anything,
Olivia.
Not a perfect daughter, a perfect sister,
a perfect aunt.
You have always walked your own path.
I doubt you would stop now.
And I doubt Mr. Jenkins would want that since
you are the woman he wishes to marry.”
“He would probably be quite shocked if I
turned up in a frilly orange ball gown.”
“The man would probably demand the return
of the real Olivia.”
“What if he doesn’t let me out at night
to watch the stars?”
Mr. Blakesley’s eyes twinkled.
“Then I dare say you would do the same thing
when I forbade you to go outside after dark:
Steal all the keys to the bedchambers, lock
everyone inside, and continue your studies
in peace.”
Olivia smiled.
“I don’t know why you didn’t tan my
hide.”
Mr. Blakesley chuckled.
“It wouldn’t have done any good.”
She looked at her father and said quietly,
“How do I know it will be a happily-ever-after?”
“You just have to believe.
And be prepared to take some action to get
it.”
The carriage ride was long and uncomfortable,
but at last they arrived.
Four boys ran out to greet them, yipping and
hollering.
Marcus helped her down from the carriage,
her backside protesting profusely with every
step.
“Ah, Olivia.
Have you come to see my wife’s pride and
joy?”
She smiled.
“You know I have.
They heard the cry in Scotland, I’m sure.
A girl, a girl!
Prudence has had her girl!”
Marcus laughed.
“If you want anything from her, now is the
time to ask.
She has already told the boys they may have
whatever they wish as a gift from their sister.”
“No more threats of Papa sleeping with his
horses?”
“I believe I’m safe.
For now.”
Olivia spied her mother behind him.
She had arrived weeks earlier to help Prudence
with her lying-in, and Olivia was not looking
forward to hearing her mother’s thoughts
on losing Mr. Jenkins.
But her mother merely looked at her, not saying
a word, and went straight to her father, fussing
over him and exclaiming how happy she was
he had made it safely.
Olivia sighed in relief and instructed one
of the boys to take her to Prudence.
She lay on the bed, her daughter asleep in
the cradle of her arms.
Prudence radiated joy, her eyes bright and
shiny.
“Congratulations, Prue.”
“Isn’t she beautiful, Livvy?
The most beautiful sight in the whole world.”
Olivia smiled and stroked the baby soft skin
of her niece.
“Far be it for me to contradict a deliriously
happy mama.”
“Tell me she is beautiful, Olivia, or I
shan’t let you hold her.”
“She is the most precious thing I have ever
seen.”
Prudence grinned, relaxing her hold as Olivia
took the baby.
Olivia looked down at her niece.
“Have you thought of a name?”
“Nothing.
I wouldn’t think of it while I was pregnant
and now I can’t think of a single one.
I’ve been calling her my little angel and
the boys have taken it up.”
Prudence looked at her sheepishly.
“What do you think?”
“I think she will be the terror of the house
if you name her that.
She will boss her brothers around, get whatever
she wants from her papa, and be doted upon
by her mama.”
Prue sighed happily.
“I know.
She’ll be the most spoiled little girl in
the whole world.”
Olivia grinned down at her niece.
“It doesn’t sound too bad a life, does
it, Angel?”
“Mother is going to have a fit.
I can hear her already, What kind of name
is that?”
“I think I’d surprise her with it at the
christening.”
They sat companionably, simply admiring the
baby.
Olivia stroked the wisps of her hair and marveled
at the size of her fingernails.
Olivia said, “Mother’s not speaking to
me.”
Prudence rolled her eyes.
“Lucky you.
I hear all day long about Mr. Jenkins and
your rejection of him.
Pray that she continues punishing you.”
Olivia snickered.
“How long do you think it will last?
Do I have until tomorrow, at least?”
Prudence shook her head.
“If she makes it to dinner, I’ll eat a
goat.”
They laughed until a tear slid down Olivia’s
cheek.
She whispered, “I want this, Prue.
I thought I had everything I wanted, but now…
I feel empty.
I feel like a great hole is missing in my
life, in my heart.”
“Get him back.”
She shook her head.
“Impossible.
You don’t know what I did, what I said.”
“No, nor do I want to since it was likely
unforgivable.
You really need to learn to hold your temper.”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you.”
“What I’ve found useful is to say I’m
sorry.
Grovel a bit.”
Prudence laughed.
“Kissing usually loosens up an angry man.”
Olivia said, “How have you stayed married
for so long?
Why hasn’t he killed you yet?”
Prudence shrugged, unconcerned.
“He loves me, and I him.
It’s really not so hard, Livvy.
May I have my baby back so you can go win
over your man?”
Olivia kissed the top of Angel’s head and
handed her back to Prue.
“Don’t think so much, Olivia.
Just go.”
Chapter Sixteen
Olivia arrived back in London after another
long carriage ride, dropping her trunk off
at Mary’s and seizing Rufus’ curricle
with hardly a hello.
She raced to Nathaniel’s, arriving breathless
and minus her hat.
She vaulted from the coach and rang the bell
repeatedly.
The butler, in his shiny black boots, answered
the door with a curt, “Madam!”
“Could you please tell Mr. Jenkins that
Miss Olivia Blakesley is here to see him.
It is something of an emergency.”
“He is not at home, Miss.”
“Is he really not or did he just tell you
to say that?
I know he is mad at me, but I really must
talk to him.
I need to tell him what a toad I am.”
The butler stared at her expressionless.
He looked behind him, then leaned toward her
conspiratorially.
“He has gone to the green.”
“Oh, thank you!
I could kiss you!”
He reared back in alarm.
“But I won’t, of course not.
Good day!”
She hopped back into the buggy, crying for
the horses to GO!
The cook peeked out from behind the butler
and nudged him.
“You should have told her he was with that
Miss Mayes.
That’ll be a shocker.”
“I have no doubt Miss Blakesley can take
Miss Mayes with one hand tied behind her back.”
“Ooh, would you like to make a little wager
on that, sir?”
He looked at her in surprise.
“Are you betting on Miss Mayes?”
“Course not.
Just how long it’ll take Miss Blakesley
to get rid of her.”
“Mmm.”
“Nathaniel!”
He turned in surprise to hear his name shouted
across the green and stared in disbelief as
Olivia came racing through on a curricle.
Miss Mayes peered toward the contraption.
“Who is– Is that Miss Blakesley?
What is she doing?”
Nathaniel shut his mouth quickly and tugged
on his waist coat.
“It appears she is trying to run over the
pedestrians.”
Miss Mayes slipped her hand through Nathaniel’s
elbow and chuckled.
“It does appear that way.
Ho, Miss Blakesley, where’s the fire?”
Olivia jumped from the rig, pausing when she
saw Miss Mayes.
“Are you still wearing that dreadful feather
in your hair?
Really, Nathaniel, could you not have picked
a girl who at least didn’t walk around looking
like a chicken?”
Miss Mayes screeched, “This is the highest
fashion, I’ll have you know!
And at least he picked someone who knew what
fashion was!”
“He doesn’t even know what fashion is!
He doesn’t care!
Nor does he like opera, nor does he like balls
and dancing.
He did all that for me.
And he definitely doesn’t like silly little
girls who think life is about parties and
dresses!”
“Oh, you think he would rather have someone
who cared for naught but the stars?
Who publishes in magazines?
Mr. Jenkins is a gentleman, he would never
want so low a wife.”
Nathaniel watched in amazement as they nearly
came to blows.
He held Miss Mayes firmly away from Olivia.
“Olivia!
What has come over you?”
“You!
Look what you’ve done to me!
I was quiet before I met you.
Content.
Now I’m screaming like a fish wife at Miss
Mayes, who I may not have been bosom buddies
with but I never hated her.
Nathaniel, what are you doing with her?”
“I’m attempting to live my life, Olivia.”
Her face crumpled.
“But you love me.
I am your life.
And I was stupid and threw that away, like
it was nothing.
Like it wasn’t the most romantic and sweetest
thing anyone has ever said to me.
Like you didn’t mean it, when I knew you
did.
When I knew you were the best man I had ever
met.
The only man I could ever love.”
She searched frantically for her handkerchief.
Nathaniel handed her his and she buried her
face in it.
She wailed something into it.
Nathaniel watched her, his heart warming at
the ridiculous sight of Olivia flustered and
sobbing.
“Olivia–”
“I’m a toad!” she cried.
“I don’t deserve you.
But I want you!
I want to marry you, and live with you, and
wake up with your leg crushing mine–”
Miss Mayes gasped.
“–and argue over who gets to read the
paper first, and lock you in the bedroom so
I can paint outside, and have little screaming
babies who look exactly like you– except
not the girls, I would prefer they take after
me.
Please, Nathaniel.
I will be your perfect wife, please.”
“I rather think you will be.”
Both women looked at him and said, “What?”
“I think you will be the most perfect wife
for me, Olivia.”
Miss Mayes looked between the two of them–
Olivia in her ugly brown dress with buttons
to her neck, her hair skewed, hat missing;
Nathaniel, who watched her with obvious admiration.
“I think you both belong in Bedlam.”
Nathaniel drew her hand from his arm.
“I apologize, Miss Mayes.”
She looked between them again.
“No, I think this is probably for the best.”
She called to her maid, who had stayed well
back from the commotion, and walked off–
happy to have some very titillating gossip
to share.
Olivia stepped closer, gazing into his eyes.
“Do you really still want to marry me?”
“God help me, I do.”
She frowned.
“Did you kiss her?”
“Of course not.
She is a proper young lady.”
Olivia smiled slowly– hope crowding out
the panic, happiness warming the cold.
“I am not a proper young lady.”
Nathaniel offered his arm.
“Believe me, Olivia, I had noticed.
Would you like to swing by the gazebo before
we depart?”
She laughed and entwined her arm with his.
“Indeed I would.”
Epilogue
Nathaniel climbed the curved wooden staircase,
cooing at his crying daughter.
“We’ll find your mummy, little one.
I’ll lay odds ten to one she’s up here
painting her stars.”
He opened the door, the baby giving him away.
Olivia turned, her face a picture of rapture.
“Nathaniel, look!
It’s a shower of falling stars.
Look, Eloise!”
Nathaniel handed the baby to Olivia, watching
as Eloise stopped crying and looked with rapture
at the stars.
“Ungrateful child.
I’m the one who built this tower.”
Olivia laughed.
“She’ll thank you when she’s older.”
She reached up and kissed him passionately.
“I’ll thank you right now.”
“You can thank me tonight.”
“Nathaniel!”
He wrapped his arms around her, staring at
the night sky.
“I’m sorry the tower wasn’t finished
until after Eloise was born, Livvy.”
He squeezed her.
“I was quite tired of sleeping outside in
that chair.”
Olivia smiled.
“I couldn’t have climbed the stairs anyway
with that big belly.”
They watched together until the shower of
stars faded, until Eloise began crying again.
Olivia and Nathaniel looked at each other
and shared a moment of complete togetherness.
She said loudly over the wails, “Thank you
for teaching me the acts of seduction, Mr.
Jenkins.
And the art of love.”
Nathaniel kissed her tenderly, also speaking
loudly.
“It was my pleasure, Mrs. Jenkins.
Entirely my pleasure.”
And they went downstairs, tossing ideas back
and forth on how to silence the interminable
screeching.
This has been To Catch A Spinster
The Reluctant Bride Collection, Volume One
Written by Megan Bryce
Narrated by Maureen Cavanaugh
Copyright 2012 by Megan Bryce
Production Copyright 2014 by Megan Bryce
