Man - he/him.
Woman - she/her.
Non-binary - they/them.
Trans man - he/him.
Trans woman - she/her.
Gender queer - they/them
or any others.
All right, it's time
to cut the cake.
Let's find out if our baby's going
to be a boy or a girl.
I don't know what this colour means.
(FUNKY MUSIC)
Captions by Able.
This might blow your mind, but sex
and gender are two different things.
I know - mind blown!
Your sex is what your doctor
assigned you at birth,
so male, female or intersex.
Your gender is how you identify,
so man, woman or another term
like gender queer or non-binary.
A good way to remember it is that
sex is what's between your legs
and gender is what's in your head
and your heart.
A lot of forms ask you to tick
what your gender is.
Most of the time, they look
like this.
But really, they should look
like this.
Before a baby is born, half of what
anyone talks about
is whether it's going to be
a boy or a girl.
But just like sexual orientation,
gender is a spectrum.
It's not as simple as pink or blue.
A spectrum is like a line.
So woman, non-binary, man.
And they're all somewhere along
the same line.
You might be born with a sex that
doesn't match your gender
or you could be born intersex.
Around 1 in 2000 people
are intersex,
which can mean a variety of things,
but basically it means that their
reproductive and sexual anatomy
may not fit with the typical
definitions of male and female.
Our world is constantly sending us
messaging about the gender binary
and telling us that men are
a certain way
and women are a certain way
and just reinforcing
that there are these two categories
that human beings exist within.
But the reality, of course, is that
individuals are completely dynamic
and different from each other,
and gender identity exists
on a spectrum, and people can be
anywhere in between
or on either end, from male
to female.
It can be pretty hard to work out
your gender identity
in a world where as soon as
a baby girl is born
she gets, like, 10 dolls and
a big pink wardrobe.
Ideas about gender are set
at such a young age
that it can feel pretty
overwhelming.
If you feel like you don't
fully identify
with the gender that you've
been assigned,
you can always reach out to places
like Rainbow Youth,
your GP, maybe even a school
counsellor.
I have had friends who have felt
really trapped by gender norms
or gender stereotypes and felt like
they couldn't be themselves
freely or explore parts of
themselves.
The great thing for those friends
was when they found spaces
where they were safe to do that,
whether that was in a theatre class
or a bunch of friends or a community
so they had an outlet for that
and could go at their own pace.
With my daughter, if she wants to be
a girl, she can be a girl.
If she wants to grow up to be a boy,
she can be a boy.
If she wants to be, like, a shark,
like, I'm sure in a few years' time
- we can figure something out too.
- (LAUGHTER)
But if she grows up and wants to
listen to Nick Jonas,
then she's gotta find a
different place to live.
We're going to teach you some
terms to learn,
and the first one is cisgender.
Cisgender refers to someone whose
assigned sex
matches their gender identity.
So if when you were born the doctor
said, 'It's a boy!'
And you're like, 'Yeah! Nailed it!
I am a boy,' then you are cisgender.
On the other hand, if you're a born
female and you feel like a girl,
you're also cisgender.
The term cisgender is good
because it stops people from using
the term 'normal',
which can make people of other
gender identities feel not normal.
Another gender identity is
transgender,
meaning your gender identity -
what's in your head and heart -
is different from the sex you
were assigned at birth.
A trans man identifies as male.
They probably prefer he/him
pronouns,
which means how they refer
to themselves
or how other people refer to them.
A trans woman identifies as female.
They probably prefer the
pronouns she/her.
If you're unsure what pronouns
to use, just ask.
It's better to be informed than to
take a stab in the dark.
But wait, there's more. Gender
queer, non-binary and gender fluid
might refer to people who don't feel
like they're one or another gender.
They might prefer the pronouns
they or them.
But again, the best thing
to do is ask.
By age 3, people generally have a
really good sense of their gender.
And it's really important to respect
and recognise other people's gender
because it makes up a really large
part of who they are.
I think the main piece of
advice I would give
is to just go really easy
on yourself.
You don't have to have all the
answers straight away,
and identity takes ages to unravel
so, yeah, just be nice to yourself.
So, sometimes you might want to ask
a trans person
about who they used to be and what
their name was.
That's kind of a little bit...
very rude.
If a trans person wants to share
their journey with you,
that's great. But it's their choice.
Someone who is trans may take
hormones or have surgery
so that their body matches
their identity.
But all of these steps are optional,
because nothing is compulsory when
you identify as trans.
Whether somebody has had surgery or
not is - guess what - their business
not yours. Nobody's asking you
what's in your pants,
so don't ask them what's in theirs.
So, I think I was about 14
when I first started playing around
with my gender.
Obviously there's been moments
in my life before then
that have been, kind of, not
strictly male or female.
And I felt quite comfortable
flipping between the two.
But I think it was when I hit school
and worked out that girls do this
and boys do that, and it started
not working for me.
So... I think God bless the internet
is all I'm going to say
because that really gave me the
resources and the...
I don't know, the curiosity to go
and look at what's out there,
and that gave me a lot of strength
to pursue finding out
who I really am.
Our Pacific neighbours also have
gender identities that are unique
to them - fa'fafine from Samoa,
fakaleiti or leiti from Tonga,
vakasalewalewa from Fiji,
and akavaine from the Cook Islands.
Some of them have similarities
to trans identities,
but they're not necessarily
the same.
Right, so you got your assigned sex
and your gender identity.
But there is also another piece
to this puzzle,
which is your gender presentation.
The way you express your gender to
the world isn't always the same.
You should be able to wear
whatever you like.
So the way you present yourself
to the world
doesn't have to follow any rules -
except that you can't walk around
naked because that is illegal.
I think the way that you express
your gender to the world,
it's never gonna be the same.
Like, people should literally be
able to wear what they want.
- Except for Crocs.
- (LAUGHTER)
- Never, ever wear Crocs.
- (LAUGHTER, MAN BOOS)
- WOMAN: Ohh!
- Who said 'oh'? Get out!
(LAUGHTER)
People can dress a whole bunch of
different ways, which is great,
but if you get confused about what
pronouns to use, again, just ask.
Trans people experience some of the
worst abuse from society,
and this is motivated by
transphobia.
Transphobia can be lots of
different things, but two examples
include intentionally using the
wrong pronouns
or doing what we call deadnaming.
Deadnaming means calling someone
the name that they had
before they transitioned.
Don't do it.
If they still wanted to be called
that, it would still be their name.
It's called deadnaming because
that name is dead.
Rest in peace, name. May we never
speak of you again.
So if you identify as transgender
and you're experiencing transphobia,
you can reach out to a trusted adult
or get in touch with
Rainbow Youth, or in extreme cases,
the police.
Having an organisation like Rainbow
Youth is so awesome
because it means that young people
who are coming from these situations
where they might not feel accepted
or they might be confused
can come and meet other people
going through similar things
and find an environment where
they can be accepted
and free to express and learn
about themselves
and their sexuality and gender,
which is awesome.
All right, that was a lot of
information.
You might want to watch that
episode again.
Can I eat the non-binary cake now?
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
Captions by Able.
