we should be looking like there-ish
hi guys
hello!
hi everybody
hello my fellow kinky people
today we're going to be talking about
long-distance relationships
how to make long-distance dynamics work
hey everyone so obviously i do not need
to tell you
that the Covid-19 pandemic has affected
everyone in the whole world and the
spanko community
is no exception
Dan and i are very lucky in that
for the first time we are in a
short distance relationship
in fact the distance might be too short
we live in a tent in the woods!
but even though we are lucky here, it
doesn't mean that we are totally immune
from what our  community is feeling and experiencing right now.
We both have friends and play partners that
we wish we could see and we can't.
How do we handle this social distance time
as spankos?
yeah,  spankos - there's so few of us
that we tend to meet on the internet
you're unlikely to find other spankos
down at your local pub
Spanko friends, dynamics, relationships
these things tend to happen
often, especially at first, over long
distance - it's difficult at the moment
and right now we just can't go to
parties the way we usually do
we can't play in person the way we
usually do so
how do we handle it how do we live our
lives as spankos
in a time of social distance. I
don't have all the answers
believe it or not - so,
I reached out to some of my very
favorite spanko celebrities
to get their advice so
let's take a look!
hi, I'm Erica Scott
so how's everybody doing in pandemic paradise?
Yeah, me too. I think we can all agree that 2020
is a complete crap-fest,
but in the meantime we have a fetish
that is not exactly conducive to social
distancing
and if we can't meet with each other, if
we can't go to parties, if we can't play
we can't travel... what?
Then what can we do?
Pharoah Spanks here! One good thing about our
community, I will say,
is that now we have the technology where
we have a lot of social media.
We have tools to use that we can meet and
connect with different people
while we're meeting and connecting with
those people, we might find somebody that
we connect with that we want to dynamic
with. But one other challenging thing
about being on the internet
is that somebody might be miles or
states away from you. Don't let it deter you
because you still can have a great long
distance dynamic, it's just
all it has to do with one thing and it's
about time. Because it takes time to
build trust and it takes time to build trust and communication.
My name is Miss Rachel and I'm a disciplinarian here in Austin, Texas.
With me is my spanking partner and muse.
Hi, I'm Cassidy Lau -
Spanko-switch based in Austin and Seattle.
I'm a little bit bratty
sometimes.
a lot of the time! We've figured out that
aside from moving in together which is
kind of what we've had to do
the basic things that you can do is make sure that
the conversation that you have
with your spanko friends is there and you keep that up
I know life gets busy things get tough
things get hard
whether it's facetime or the phone or
something like that. Twitter or
chatting or whatever means necessary to
do that
make sure you're giving them your
undivided attention try to schedule out
that time
and it'll make their time more special
and it will help your connection grow a lot more.
We kept up with like video calls and Facetime.
Yeah. Texting and Twitter. We've done some
Skype and things like that.
We also like to keep our vanilla
conversation up as well because we think
that's important.
If you don't like the person that you're
spanking just
as a person in general then you don't
really want to spank them.
We like each other we're best friends.  I
think that having that
that type of relationship as well as you
know
her being my spanking partner and me being
her spanking partner helps it make it work.
Hi there! I'm Princess Kelly May, also known as Miss Kelly.
I'm Stephen Lewis.
You can currently find me
on my only fans page - onlyfans.com/princesskelly
you can also check me out
on my website misskellymay.com
You cannot find me anywhere.
Hopefully we can provide some helpful tips to make
long-distance relationships as successful as they can be.
It can work.  It can work.
We've been together for
three years. Supposed to be getting
married this September but obviously
that's been postponed.
We have been living together for two
years now in England but were long
distance for the first year of our relationship.
When we started obviously, I don't think
either of us
thought that it was going to be what
it was.  No, I certainly didn't.
Yeah, but, you know, your feelings change
and you yeah fall in love - but then
you've got to make sure that the other
person feels the same way
both being at the same level when you
have these conversations because I think
that's very, very important from the very
beginning because
of all of the strains that are on the
long distance - if you're not both
on the same page, there's going to be a
disconnect somewhere along the line and
you're almost set up to fail. That's true
of most relationships. Be honest with
yourself and your partner about what you want from this relationship.
I am Pandora Blake and I make queer,
kinky porn which you can find at
dreamsofspanking.com.
So my top long distance relationship tip is to about your communication.
Talk about which communication methods you prefer
and find out which is the combination that's going to work best for both of you
Maybe you prefer instant messaging to exchange very short messages continually throughout the day
or maybe you want to send
long chatty emails late at night.
Maybe you prefer to leave
voice notes or have phone calls with the
other person - or maybe you prefer
video calls. Different people prefer
different things and we all process
information differently. So, where one
person might find text the ideal medium
to express themselves
and very easy to read and understand, the
other person might really struggle with
it and really prefer audio input - or maybe
one of you feels much more comfortable
being able to see the other person's
facial expression as you're talking
but the other one feels really shy about
showing their face on video calls.
So talk about it! Figure out the best
combination for the both of you.  And
finally
whatever plans you make with each other
and whatever intentions you set
stick to them. Remote communications are all you've got
if you're in lockdown in separate cities
or countries or if you can't see each
other for other reasons
and so make them as important as the
quality time that you would spend
in person. This is your quality time.
If you make a date for a phone call or a video call
stick to it. Take it seriously. Again, this
can be hard if you have other
commitments but it's all you've got so make sure you make the most of it.
I'm the last person in the world to talk about any form of technology but
Kelly introduced me to a thing called Marco Polo, which is just a way of sending a series
of like visual messages,
particularly if your timeline is out.
We were five hours? Six hours?
Yeah, like five or six hours depending on
that for a lot of the beginning of our
relationship.
You can interact with each and send little mini replies whilst
you're both still
awake but equally you can send some nice
visual messages for your partner to wake up to including, you know, if you're on the top side
side some various scolding messages which are always nice to wake up to.
Yes. They were very nice to wake up to.
I'd send him a message at night when
i went to bed because he was already in
bed and then he'd send me one after he
got up that i got to wake up to.
Which is a nice way of like sharing that part of your day that the other person is unconscious for
It's not like Skype, where you have to plan a time and you have to both be there doing the thing back and forth
you don't have to watch it right away
and you don't have to be watching it
while they're recording it so - 
it's kind of like text message but with
visuals so - "Marco Polo". Download it -highly recommend.
I would say like
aside from actually having someone move
in with you and
and being able to work with -
Not everybody can do that.  Yes.
We started taking limited clients. We know not everyone can can work
together and spank people
um but that's what works for us.
It brings us closer and our bond closer
to do that and both understanding just
the limits of each client too.
Yeah and and we have fun discussing
it before we're going to
to meet a client like our game plan,
the build up.  Yeah -
what we're going to do - and I've also
tried to put some videos
out on Twitter and on SpankingTube just
to help
um some of my clients or fans or
whatever that hasn't had the opportunity
to get out there
just to live vicariously through what
I'm doing and to let them know that I'm
still here and I'm still alive. Hopefully when like all the
spanking parties can commence again and we definitely
understand and get it and think it was
the same call to postpone them this year.
Don't be afraid to reach out
before that because we're still here and
we still need it
and we know everybody else does too.
You know, everybody's going through a hard
time right now but
just don't forget your friends because
that's important.
I would imagine some people are doing
virtual play perhaps
the top orders the bottom to self
self-spank while they watch or
perhaps you concoct a scenario and you
act it out together virtually.
This is not my thing. I know it
works for a lot of people but
it doesn't work for me.
But I love to read. I love to write.
And I love a good spanking story.  So one
thing you can try
with your long distance partner is
writing an interactive story
it can be a real life type of scene
between you two or it can be a complete
fantasy story. One person starts -
writes a couple of paragraphs or a
couple of pages. The recipient reads
and then adds the next section in their
point of view.
So you alternate points of view you can
go wherever your imagination takes you.
One thing that's really good about doing
this with a partner you're familiar with
is you know each other's
buzzwords and phrases and what each
other, you know, what you like
and so you know how to push each other's
buttons and say all the right things and
it can get really
hot and fun I actually did this a few
years ago. So we wrote this story back
and forth and it got to be pretty long.
Then he edited it and put it all
together and then ended up printing it
in a book for me which was kind of fun.
But look - I know nothing will take over the real thing. We want to play.
I understand that. But we have to be safe.
We have to stay well.
Embrace the realm of the oral or audiovisual!
You just have to work a little bit
harder at it. iI think we used to do
very elaborate role plays via text.
So it requires a bit more effort and
there really was like a big state like
before we get there before our actual
wedding day we call our anniversary -
the day we created these two...
Role play characters that mean a lot to us.
So we did that a lot in the early days.  Kelly had a spreadsheet.
As hard as it is in these
periods when you're separated
the actual time that you get together
is precious.
I loved that. I think people have really
good advice and it's just -
I don't know about you guys, but it
always makes me feel so wonderfully
reassured
to see other spankos just living and
chatting and sharing their advice.  You
know, it reminds me that
I'm not alone and neither are any of us.
Absolutely.
I got so much great advice from these friends that I've actually
broken all of this into two videos
so if you didn't see enough of your
favorite spanko celebrity stay tuned for
next time because there's more advice
for practicing a spanking fetish during
a time of social distance -
coming soon. So stay with me!
do
you
