Hello and welcome to Sheryl Speaks! Today
i'm going to help you find your soulmate.
Specifically, I'm going to share five
steps that you can take
to significantly increase your chance of
finding the man or woman
of your dreams so stay tuned!
Well hello there and thanks for stopping
by!
I recently polled my subscribers, aka "my
angels,"
to ask them howIi could best serve them
and they told me that they wanted me to
make more videos
about relationships, so here you go!
I think it's safe to say that most
people want to be in a healthy
relationship.
While there are some people who, for one
reason or another,
prefer to be alone, the majority of
people dream of finding that perfect
someone
to spend the rest of their lives with. We
are looking for our other half
or the person that god created just for
us.
So let's jump right into this topic
shall we? I'm here today to help you
answer that burning question...
What do I need to do to find my perfect
someone?
Do you need to change something about
yourself? Do you need to move or change
jobs? Or start looking in different
places
or start socializing with different
people? Is it too late for you?
Have you waited too long? Relax, relax...
All of these questions will be addressed
today and hopefully by the end of this
video,
you'll have a solid strategy that you
can use
to make your wish of finding your
soulmate a reality.
So let's start with the basics. The first
step in our journey is going to be to
complete a thorough
self-assessment of where you are
in your life right now.
As Wendy Williams would say "how you
doing?"
Okay, that was pretty bad, "how you doing?"
That was worse! Okay, in order to complete
this exercise
you need to ask yourself one core
question:
How am I doing? For instance,
how am i doing physically? Am I in shape?
Am I physically able to handle the
challenges that come
with being involved with someone right
now?
Am I stable enough to handle the ups and
downs of a relationship right now,
or am I struggling with my mental health
and welfare?
How am I doing financially? Is my
situation stable
or am I looking for a crutch or a
proverbial
"financial lifeboat" to save me?
How am I doing emotionally? Can I really
handle a possible
breakup or another challenging event
right now?
What does my family look like right now?
Do I have room in my home for someone
else?
More importantly, do I have room in my
heart
and in my life for someone else?
Finally, ask yourself "how i'm doing
spiritually?"
Am I on good terms with God or am I
struggling to find my place
in the kingdom? If you are really
struggling in any of these areas,
then it may be wise to address these
issues before
moving forward with this process. In
other words,
you need to make sure that you as an
individual
are in good working order before
attempting to bring another variable
into your equation. I know, I know, there's
a little bit of algebra for you.
I'm a former teacher, I can't help it but
don't worry,
I won't take it any further than that!
Okay so now that we have completed that
process,
it's time to move on to step two.
The second step in this process is to
figure out what you really want in a
soulmate.
In other words, you need to sit down and
evaluate
three sets of criteria.
You need to think about what you want,
what you need,
and what you must have, otherwise known
as your "non-negotiables."
Let's start with the first one. What do
you want
in a partner? For instance, what does he
look like?
What does he sound like? How does he
dress?
Where does he live? What type of job does
he have?
What type of personality does he have?
Whatever you decide, be very specific
and intentional in your decisions.
It's really important that you write
these choices down as well,
so that you can refer to them later on
and make changes to your list
as necessary. In my case, he's got to be
6'4,
220 with curly hair, an athletic build
and a gorgeous smile! Oh and he also has
to be brilliant,
God-fearing, kind and oh i'm so sorry,
this is about what you want. But hey
if you're out there, Mr. Lover Man DM me!
Just kidding! Okay, so all jokes aside.
Now let's take a look at what you need.
What does your partner
need to bring to the table? Do they need
to be well off financially,
spiritually grounded, athletic, gorgeous,
a good listener? You get the picture...
Keep in mind that you're building a
blueprint for your
soulmate, so take your time and make sure
that your measurements and calculations
are correct.
What about that third factor, you know,
your "non-negotiables?"
What are the things that you simply
cannot live without?
If you need someone who is a non-smoker,
then add that to your list.
If your perfect mate must be a provider,
then write that down too.  Keep in mind
that your "must-haves"
must be clearly defined and written down
for this process to work.
Remember this is what you want, not what
you're Aunt KiKi
or your sister Aaliyah wants for you, this
is your list,
so make sure it includes everything that
you want to see
in your future mate, period!
Now that we've done our self-evaluation
and have our "must haves" list,
it's time to move on to step three. This
step involves
self-preparation. Remember how I had you
clear up your roadblocks to love before?
Well now it's time to make yourself and
your life
as enticing as humanly possible!
If you want to attract the bees, you
gotta have a little bit of pollen!
What do I mean by that? It's time to
optimize your life!
In other words, now that you have cleaned
up the front yard of your house,
it's now time to beautify it with
flowers and green shrubs!
Now is the time to take your life to the
next level,
in order to attract someone on the next
level!
You see, we all want a "ten." For instance
I know that I want someone who is at the
top of their game,
in at least one area of their life and
you are no different.
So in order to attract a 10, I want you
to focus on
becoming a 10 in at least one area of
your life.
Why? Bbecause doing this gives you a leg
up
on the competition and it also gives
your potential partner
bragging rights when it comes to you!
For instance, if you're in good shape now,
great!
But what about upping your game and
pushing yourself
to become a "fitness goddess!"
If your money game is already tight, try
finding
another stream of income to make it even
sweeter!
On the other hand, if you enjoy giving
and supporting others,
find a new way to give and support even
more
people!  Become legendary in your
community
for your positive contributions!
Now is the time to take your life to the
next level
in order to play on the next level!
Now remember, we're not at the hunting
stage yet.
At this point we're still just
optimizing ourselves
so that we can improve our chances of
attracting someone awesome!
So now that you have elevated your life,
it's time to move on to step four:
putting yourself out there! Interestingly
enough,
this is where most people begin the
soulmate searching process,
which is why many people fail at it. In
order to increase your chances at
success,
you have to take the necessary steps to
ensure
success, ensuring that you are ready to
receive
love, knowing what you want and placing
yourself
at the top of the heap, are critical
elements
in the love game. So
now is the time to start advertising
your availability.
Now, before I go any further, let me say
this:
This process is going to look very
different for women
versus men. If you're a woman,
this is the time for you to let your
friends and family know
that you're "actively available" to meet
that special someone,
nothing more, so don't start swiping left
or right just yet!
For men, this is time for you to let your
friends and family know
that you're "actively searching" for that
special someone.
See the difference? Women prepare
themselves for the chase
while men hunt! Let that concept
sink in for a while.
Men should be the aggressors in this
situation,
period! Now ladies, ladies before you say
anything,
please note that this has been proven
time and time again. According to a
recent statistic that I read
67% of all long-term marriages
in the United States began with the man
asking the woman for a date. 67%!
The numbers don't lie ladies! Men are
hunters,
by the very nature.  When a woman actively
hunts a man,
things don't always turn out for the
best. Now
I'm not saying that it should never be
done, but simply that if a woman serves
as the hunter
in a relationship, that it changes the
dynamics of the relationship,
sometimes for the entire life of the
relationship!
For instance do you happen to know a woman
that has a man
that just refuses to work or to provide
for his family?
If so, it may be interesting to find out
if that particular
relationship started with the woman
asking the man
out. If so,
then she may have inadvertently
established herself as the protector,
breadwinner, etc. in the relationship,
and now must fulfill that role!
Be careful how you catch him ladies, be
very careful how you catch him!
Don't forget that this is a biblical
concept ladies!
A man will naturally protect and provide
for what he has captured, enough said.
Step five is fairly obvious, isn't it? Once
you put your glimmering lure out there
ladies,
you must examine your catch and
determine whether or not you will keep
it
or throw it back. If he doesn't treat you
like the queen that you are,
then move on! Gentlemen,
your job is also to actively seek what
you're looking for,
and to not settle for less than what you
want.
Proverbs 18 22 says that he who finds a
wife
finds a good thing and obtains favor
from the Lord.
So if you find that perfect someone put
a ring on it fellas!
No matter if you're a man or a woman my
final advice is the same.
don't settle for less than what you want,
and never stop believing in your heart
that your soulmate is out there.
I believe that God created someone for
each one of us,
and that it's our duty to prepare
ourselves
for the moment when we find them. I wish
you all the best of luck
on your journey to find your soulmate.
Well that's it for today, my angels,
please don't forget to let me know
when you find that special someone in the
comments below!
Thank you so much for watching. I hope to
see you again soon,
until next time, this is Sheryl Speaks
saying
take care!
