-My boyfriend's older.
The other day, he asked me
to go sit at a fountain
and eat a to-go box
of fully loaded beef nachos
while he watched
with his opera glasses
from a nearby restaurant.
When I finished my nachos,
he drove by in a car
and threw a note out the window.
It said "Great job."
My boyfriend's crazy.
♪♪
-♪ "Girlfriends Talk Show" ♪
♪ Girlfriends talkin'
'bout guys and stuff ♪
♪ Girlfriends talkin'
'bout cute guys and clothes ♪
♪ "Girlfriends Talk Show" ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, my God! Hi!
-Welcome to
"Girlfriends Talk Show."
-This is a show
where we just sit
and talk like girlfriends do!
This is my best friend, Morgan.
-Hi! And this is
my best friend, Kyra.
-What up?!
-And, uh, I don't know
who this girl is.
-Oh. I'm sorry.
This is a new best friend
of mine -- Tara.
-Hi. It's so good
to see you again.
-Yeah, I know. Like, look
at you. You're the coolest.
-You look real cool, too. I'm so
glad we became best friends.
-Yeah.
-[laughing nervously] Yeah.
How many best friends
do you have, Kyra?
-A girl can never have enough
best friends. Am I right, guys?
-I-I don't know. Can she?
'Cause I have one,
and that's you.
-Awesome. Okay.
What's our first topic? Tara?
-Both: Guys!
-Oh, my God. Did you
just say that with me?
'Cause she told me
I could say it.
-Well, that's weird, 'cause,
normally, I introduce the topic
because I'm her best friend
and the co-host.
-Awesome. Okay. So, this
question is for the boys.
But only the cute ones.
-Like those ones
we saw the other night?
[ Kyra and Tara laugh ]
-What -- What night?
-Awesome. So, boys,
what's up with all the sports?
-Yeah, I mean,
you spend all your weekends
watching it
and talking about it,
then the rest of the week
you play them on video games?
What about us? Am I right?
-Okay, I just want to --
Like, I was gonna say like every
single thing that she just said,
but -- but, then, like,
she jumped in so fast
that I didn't even get a chance
to say, like, any of it.
-Okay. Just think of
something else to say.
-Kyra, where did you
meet this girl?
-She's so awesome.
Um, I met her
at Two Rivers Mall.
She works at Forever 21.
-Have you ever shopped there?
The clothes really make you look
so, like, you're 21 years old.
Am I right?
-Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah, it looks like
clothes dead women are found in.
-No. Don't say that.
Remember Denise?
-Well, there's just, like,
a million way better places
to shop.
-Like where? Name one.
-Uh, Skirt Warehouse?
Our favorite place. Remember?
-Skirt Warehou--
Morgan, what's wrong with you?
-I don't know.
Skirt Warehouse can be cool
if you're there
with your best friend.
-Since when? One time,
I was in a Skirt Warehouse,
and I saw a roach family
climb out of a bin
full of tummy-control panties,
so I was like, "How'd I get
in this doody-girl's place?!"
-Yeah. Like, Oh, my God.
It should be called
Skirt and Roach Warehouse.
-Yeah.
-No. YOU should be called
Roach Warehouse!
-You're not making any sense
today, Morgan.
-Morgan? I like that name.
It's like Captain Morgan.
Do you remember, Kyra?
In the basement?
-[Laughing] That was so crazy.
[ Kyra and Tara laughing ]
-You have a basement?
-Awesome.
Okay. Let's do our next topic.
-Baking!
-Boyfriends!
-Boyfriends.
-Yeah, boyfriends.
-Okay.
So, my boyfriend gave me,
like, the most amazing gift.
And I was, like, "Why?"
And he was like, "Because
you are totally my girlfriend."
And guess what I did. I sat
in his lap and cried facing out
for two whole hours
so that everyone
in the food court could see me.
-Wow. That's a perfect
romantic story.
My boyfriend's a little older.
He took me to a steakhouse
and sat at
a different table from me.
He just watched me
enjoy my steak.
They even had cloth napkins.
When I was walking out,
his car pulled up
and a tinted window rolled down,
and the crack was big enough
so I could see one eyeball.
He winked at me, and he said,
"Thanks for letting me
watch you eat that sirloin."
My boyfriend's crazy!
-Hey. What about you, Morgan?
-Well, I --
-Her boyfriend dumped her.
-No, I dumped HIM!
-No, he dumped you,
and then like a week later,
you called him and said,
"I'm dumping you."
-That's not true. I told him,
"Don't you ever come back."
And he said, "I'm not going to."
And -- But I could tell,
like, by the way
that he put his hand on my face
and pushed backwards
that, like, he was not
entirely over me.
-It kinda sounds like he was.
-Yeah, he wasn't,
Roach Warehouse!
This girl, like,
she really needs to go.
She's not even good
at co-hosting.
-Awesome! Okay.
So, next time on the show,
our topic is gonna be...
-Lanyards!
-Earrings!
-Earrings.
-Yeah, it's earrings.
-Awesome! Later! Bye!
-♪ "Girlfriends Talk Show" ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪ Girlfriends talkin'
'bout guys and stuff ♪
♪ Girlfriends talkin'
'bout cute guys and clothes ♪
♪ "Girlfriends Talk Show" ♪
-Oh, my God, Hi. Welcome to
"Girlfriends Talk Show."
This is my best friend
and co-host, Morgan.
-And this is
my best friend, Kyra.
And, um, I'm not sure
what THIS girl is about.
-Awesome!
Please welcome the coolest
new girl in school, Jessy!
-Here I am, I guess.
This is 100% Jessy.
Deal with it.
-[ Laughs ] Jessy's gonna be
co-hosting the show with us.
-Really, Kyra? Nobody told me
about this at all.
-Awesome.
Jessy's in a punk band.
-Our band is called Vag Hat.
Does that scare anyone?
-Yes!
-So edgy.
Morgan, why are you
wearing your coat?
-Um, because I'm cold and
it's an outer slimming garment.
-[ Scoffs ]
It looks like a mom coat.
[ Kyra and Jessy laugh ]
-Okay.
Well, how about you tell that
to Turlington Coat Barn?
Because it was definitely
in the teen-fashions department.
-I don't think
they have one in New York,
where I've been
two or three times.
-Awesome! Okay. First topic...
-Piercings!
-Stickers!
-Piercings.
-I already have three piercings.
My eyebrow and both my ears.
-My boyfriend won't let me get
piercings. My boyfriend's older.
Yesterday, he made me
stand behind an empty frame
like a portrait
for like five hours
while he stared at me
and ate Caesar salad.
My boyfriend's crazy.
-I might dump my boyfriend
because I'm thinking
about being bi.
Everyone in New York is bi
because they're in such a rush.
They're like, "I'm in a hurry.
Let's do this. Whatever."
I actually heard
someone in New York say that.
I've been there
like two or three times.
It's a great place
to get a piercing.
-Morgan can't get
her belly button pierced
'cause she has an outie.
-I do not!
-Yeah. That's --
That's what that's called.
-Well, okay, then I do!
So cool it!
-Awesome! New topic.
-Make-out parties!
-Guinea pigs!
-Guinea pigs? What cool person
has guinea pigs anymore?
-Um, my family?
Yeah, my family breeds them.
We have four.
Elizabeth, Bartlet, Gordon,
and Davide.
Yeah, they make great pets.
-You don't even have Davide
anymore.
He bit a baby, so you guys
had to put him to sleep.
-I know, but I don't really
want to talk about it, so...
R.I.P. Davide.
-Guinea pigs are gross.
Don't they, like,
poop little pellets?
-Um, you WISH you pooped
little pellets!
-Awesome! Make-outs!
Who do you want
to make out with?
-I dunno. I might want to make
out with a girl. I'm not sure.
Just depends on
how cool it makes me look.
I, uh, might even wanna make out
with someone in this room.
[ Kyra giggles ]
-Oh, God. I know it's me.
Pass! I have a boyfriend!
-Morgan's new boyfriend
talks like a girl.
That's 'cause
he's in seventh grade
and his voice
hasn't changed yet.
-Um, and I hope it never does
because he has a voice
like an angel voice!
-Why is your boyfriend so young?
Are you a cougar?
[ Kyra and Jessy laugh ]
-Um, no, I'm not a cougar.
Do these human fingers
look like paws?!
-Morgan, chill out.
-No! I'm not chilled out!
I'm getting hot,
and I'm getting mad!
-Well, why --
Just take your coat off, then.
-Okay, but just for the record,
this show was MY idea.
-We're just joshing
and jiving with you.
-Okay? Awesome!
-Uh, much better...
-Okay. Before we go...
Jessy, do you have anything
you wanna plug?
-Yeah. Vag Hat is playing
in the basement
of the Grace Unitarian Church
this Friday at 8.
It's a very
New York-looking church.
-Um, well,
I WON'T be able to make it
because Fridays are my time
with our one female guinea pig.
She's super worn out
from breeding,
so I'll be hanging with her!
-Awesome! Later! Bye!
-♪ "Girlfriends Talk Show" ♪
-♪ Girlfriends talkin'
'bout guys and stuff ♪
-♪ Girlfriends talkin'
'bout cute guys and clothes ♪
♪ "Girlfriends Talk Show" ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, my gosh. Hi.
I'm Kyra for days.
-And I'm 200% Morgan.
-We're BFFFRs.
-Best Friends Forever For Real.
-Awesome. Let's meet our guest.
-I didn't know
we were having any guests.
-Awesome. Please welcome
my new best friend
from hip-hop club at school,
Lil' Teenie.
-What up? I'm Lil' Teenie, and
I am all about keepin' it reals.
If a dog is going
to the bathroom, I turn my head,
'cause I don't need that drama.
This is my world.
You just walkin' around on it.
Zurr?
-Lil' Teenie, you rock.
-Little Teenie?
What kind of name is that?
Your name is Tara Arnold,
and your family
runs a Honda dealership.
-It's a nickname, Morgan.
Mine's Crazy K,
'cause I'm cray now.
Don't you have a nickname
from that time you went to camp?
-Yeah, Night Crier.
-Awesome. Lil' Teenie, let's
talk more about hip-hop club.
-Yeah, in da hip-hop club,
we talk about hot beats
and nasty rhymes.
-Plus, our moderator,
Mr. Shanahan, is super cool.
He's 50, and he still wears
his headphones around his neck.
-Even when he's
teaching gyms, yo.
♪ Yea-a-a-h, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
-Awesome.
-I can't be in hip-hop club
because my mom's friend Donna
is going through
a really bad divorce,
so we go over there like every
day to hang out with her
and, like, cheer her up
a little bit.
Uh, I'm pretty much
like another adult in the room.
-Awesome.
-Zurr.
Aces and deuces, yizzall!
-Wow, so awesome.
First topic.
-Nasty beats.
-Basic magic.
-Nasty beats.
-Nasty beats?
-Yeah.
Lil' Teenie and I changed it.
-Oh, when, when I was consoling
a divorcee?
-It's better.
Your magic be fake.
I'm all about keepin' it reals.
When magic gets real,
that's when I'll get involved.
Zurr? Deuces be acin'.
-Um, I guess, like, we just
came in here with a plan,
and then we just
threw it in the garbage.
-Awesome. Lil' Teenie and I
laid down a phat beat
at the Apple store yesterday.
Listen to this.
-♪ Zurr ♪
-Yeah.
Yeah.
-♪ Zurr, zurr ♪
-Yeah. It's cray.
-♪ Zurr ♪
-♪ Apple store, yeah, yeah ♪
-♪ At the Apple store, zurr ♪
♪ Best friends
at the Apple store ♪
-♪ Awesome ♪
-♪ Zurr ♪
-♪ Apple store ♪
-Um, okay.
Well, I did a little something
in my room
that I'm a little proud of.
-You dropped a phat beat?
-Um, no.
I wrote a gorgeous song,
and it goes something like this.
[ Clears throat ]
♪ My mom took me
to the grocery store ♪
♪ And everything
was candy corns ♪
♪ Everything spinning
in my mind ♪
♪ Huh-weh-ho, hoo-weh-ho ♪
♪ Hoo-oo-ooh-weh-ho,
weh-ooh-weh-ho ♪
-Okay, let's move on
to our next topic.
-Okay, but I have one more round
of "hoo-weh-ho"s.
-I think it's funner
if we move on.
-Girl, your voice is a treasure.
-Oh, thank you, Tara.
-Yeah, a treasure
that needs to stay buried.
Zah-zoo-zurr?
-Wow. I haven't seen
this much deception
since Donna showed me those
letters from her ex-husband.
So why don't you roll back
and go ahead
and sit...down, G-dawgs?
-What are you talking about?
-I don't know.
-Okay, Morgan, just chill out.
Let's do our last topic.
-Number-one hotties.
-Cute homework folders.
-Awesome. Number-one hotties.
-I like when a guy has
his own ride, his own bedroom,
and maybe a Boost Mobile burner.
Zurr? Ace plus deuces equals
♪ Yea-a-a-h, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
-Um, I like a guy
who's in love with my confidence
and is gentleman enough to treat
me to a hearty steak salad.
♪ Yes, yes, yes-yes, yes ♪
-My boyfriend's older.
He lives in a high-rise.
It's a loft with a panic room.
Whenever I come over, he locks
himself in the panic room
and talks to me
through the intercom.
Usually, there's a pizza
waiting for me and a high stool.
He likes me to stand on the
stool and eat the whole pizza
close to the security camera.
There are never any napkins.
My boyfriend's crazy.
-And he donated 200 pizzas
to the hip-hop club.
We invited all the other clubs,
and we had a pizza partay-tay.
-Okay. Wow. Donna, my mom, and I
would have loved some pizza.
-Dang, all you do
is hang wit' your moms
and her sad friend Donna.
-So? All you do is, like,
hang out and look cute
with your cool friends,
so consider yourself served.
-Okay, Morgan,
you're getting too heated.
-Hey, Lil' Teenie,
how about we do a fist fight?
-You cray!
-No, I'm cray.
See you later! Bye!
-♪ "Girlfriends Talk Show" ♪
♪ Girlfriends talkin'
'bout guys and stuff ♪
♪ Girlfriends talkin'
'bout cute guys and clothes ♪
♪ "Girlfriends Talk Show" ♪
-Oh, my God. Hi!
-Hi! And welcome to
"Girlfriends Talk Show."
-I'm Kyra to the max!
-And I'm the most Morgan
I can be right now.
-And we're BFFs.
-Yeah, we're such BFFs
that we finish each other's...
-Awesome!
-...sentences.
-Totally.
-Well, we have
a great show for you.
We're doing it
all on our own today.
-No, we're not!
I invited Trevor Masterson.
-W-WHAT!?
He's, like,
the cutest boy in school!
How could you do this to me?!
-Awesome! Let's bring him out.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hello. Hey.
Hi, Kyra. Hi, Morgan.
-Oh, my God! He knows my name!
-Yeah, of course I do.
-Aaaaahhh!
-Of course I know your name.
-This is a really cool show.
I don't know if I'm --
I mean, I don't know
if I'm THAT cute, though.
I have --
I have been working out lately.
-Yeah.
-See that...
-Gah.
-Morgan, wh--
Your mouth is wide open.
Why are you making that face?
-Aaahh! OoooOOOHHHHH.
I guess I was just yawning.
Because I'm so chill with
whatever's happening right now.
BRBRBRBRBRBRB!
-Trevor's on
the school soccer team
and in the male a capella group
called Fortissibros.
Morgan goes to every show
'cause he's her secret crush.
-No, he's not! Kyra!
Why would I go to someone's show
just because they're, like,
super f-i-i-ine?
-[ Chuckles ]
-Whatever. Why don't you do one
of your songs for us, Trevor?
-Uh, yeah, sure, but, I mean,
it might sound kinda weird
without the other guys here.
♪ B-a-a-a-a-a-ah ♪
♪ You don't know
you're beautif-u-u-u-ul ♪
-That's nice.
-It sounds so much better
with all the other guys.
I mean, big difference.
-So awesome. Okay. First topic.
-Fashion tights!
-Parties.
-Parties.
-What?
-Yeah.
-When did you guys
change the topic?
-Yesterday!
-How do you guys even
know each other so well?!
-I met Trevor at Tara's party.
-Yeah, it was radical.
We played spin the bottle,
and I kept making it land
on Becky Weathers.
-Becky Weathers?
She's a witch
with a "B" in front!
Yeah, she's always taking
unflattering photos of me
and then texting them
to my phone
when she knows I have
very limited texting!
-Yeah. Morgan has
a Fave Five family plan.
It just has her mom's number,
me, her dad,
Domino's Pizza, and 911.
-Why is 911 in your Five Faves?
-Um, I don't know.
Maybe because
I'm allergic to bees!
I mean, it's not their fault.
I'm just --
I'm always reaching for them.
-Awesome!
-That's so weird. I love it.
-You do?
-Yeah.
-Um, you know,
there's a study somewhere
that, uh, weird people
are the best
at romantic bed time
for private, under-the-sheet,
fantasy moments.
-Huh?
-What are you doing?
-I don't know!
-Morgan, what are you
even talking about?
That's not for you.
Where did that come from?
-I don't know! I think
I might be entering womanhood
RIGHT NOW!
That's hilarious! You're so much
funnier than Becky Weathers!
Really?
-Yeah!
You know, I feel like
I could hang out with you
all day and laugh
and then just
go see her at night
and, like, have a make-out sesh.
-What kind of hell
am I in right now?
-Awesome! Next topic!
-Selfies!
-Miniature Christmas villages!
-No. Selfies. We changed that.
-What? Why?
Selfies? It's so self-involved.
Also my phone
doesn't even have a camera.
-Oh, wait. Trevor, remember
that selfie Tara took
that we laughed so hard about?
-Oh, my God. Yeah.
And then she accidentally sent
it to her school bus driver.
-That was SO funny.
-We laughed so hard about that.
[ Both laughing ]
[ Morgan laughing loudly ]
-Oh, man! Kyra, remember
when we went to Panera
and I accidentally dropped
my sandwich
and all the ingredients
went everywhere?
-Yeah.
-Yeah. Remember how hard
we laughed at that?
-I remember the people
that worked there laughed
and I just watched you
clean up your sandwich.
It made me sad.
-God.
Kyra, can you just please
work with me?
I'm not like you. I'm fighting
for my life out here!
You HAVE a boyfriend!
-I know.
And my boyfriend's older.
The other day, he asked me
to go sit at a fountain
and eat a to-go box
of fully loaded beef nachos
while he watched
with his opera glasses
from a nearby restaurant.
When I finished my nachos,
he drove by in a car
and threw a note out the window.
It said "Great job."
My boyfriend's crazy.
-Sounds kinda cool to me.
-Trevor, I love you!
-What?
-[Crying] Oh, my God!
What have I done!?
-Awesome!
Well, join us next time.
Later! Bye!
-♪ "Girlfriends Talk Show" ♪
♪♪
♪ "Girlfriends Talk Show" ♪
