 
Drawn to OBSESSION

A Prequel to The Obsession Series

By: Brooke Page

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SMASHWORDS EDITION

Copyright @Brooke Page 2020

Chapter One

They say a fresh start means a new beginning, but that's only true if your past doesn't haunt you.

My name is Jamie Ray, and I've convinced myself that this time will be different.

"Is that the last box?" Becca, my best friend, asked.

I kicked the door shut to our new apartment, hauling the hefty cardboard through the hall and into the kitchen where Becca stood. It was oversized, and I let out an _oomph_ when I dropped it next to the island counter. "Yes!"

She stood next to me and examined the box, a smile spreading across her face. "Saved the best for last!" She cheered, ripping the packaging tape and opening the cardboard. She rummaged through the newspaper covered items, finding two stemless glasses and headed to the sink with both of them. Turning on the faucet, she rinsed each glass, then grabbed a bottle of Boones Farm from another box.

"Way to keep it classy, Becs," I teased, knowing damn well I was the one to introduce her to the cheaper way of life.

She smirked, unscrewing the top and filling each glass. "You know I like it sweet."

I took my glass from her. "Yes, I suppose I'm to blame for your poor choices in alcohol."

Becca was from a very well off family. Her dad owned half of Grand Rapids, and either Becca was oblivious to her wealthy status, or her mother did a wonderful job raising such a humble person.

We met at Florida State University as suitemates and have been inseparable ever since.

"So what's the plan?" I asked after taking a few sips.

She let out a long breath, running the tip of her finger along the rim of her glass. "I'm not sure."

"Did you ever sign up to take your certification test? That's the last step to become an official architect, right?"

She nodded. "It is the last step, but I haven't scheduled it yet."

I smiled sympathetically. "You know, you could get a job as an architect here in Florida, or Montana, New York... I'm pretty sure they're needed everywhere. Nothing says you have to go back home."

Keeping her thoughts in her head, she took another sip of wine. After our six years away at school together, we both had grown tremendously, but Becca's story was different from mine.

"I just want... to be... sporadic," she finally admitted.

My eyes lit up with excitement. "Becca, I'm so proud of you!" I was the unpredictable friend, always pushing the limits.

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "I figured since everything went to shit when I followed a plan, that 'winging it' might work out better for me. At least for a while."

"Everything did go to shit for you," I agreed, recalling the awful woman, Ashlynn, whom she used to call a best friend. "Everything will go wonderfully if you truly stop talking to that skank who's sleeping with your ex-boyfriend."

"I haven't talked to her since graduation."

"Which was even too much," I huffed. "I don't care how close your family's are, your mother shouldn't have requested a photo of the two of you together. Especially when Connor stood awkwardly off to the side like a fucking idiot."

"Connor feels bad about how it all went down," she whispered. "He's apologized to me more than once."

"Yeah, you should when you cheat on the perfect girl," I deadpanned.

"I'm hardly perfect," she mumbled, pushing her glass forward then covering her stomach.

I rolled my eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you how much of a catch you are? Any guy would be lucky to have you. I'd kill for curves like yours."

She smiled, but it didn't match her eyes. "'Curves is a code word for fat, Jamie."

"You're crazy. Guys are constantly checking you out!" Becca was beautiful, but she grew up under a microscope, and her smallest flaws were put on display. Her mother didn't help, constantly pointing out little errors through her eyes. Becca was curvy, but miles away from being considered 'fat'.

"Becca, you're well manicured. Your complexion is killer, your clothing style is on point, and your hair... I've told you a dozen times how jealous I am of it."

Her hair was thick and soft with natural blonde highlights that gave her texture. My caramel color was boring, and I couldn't afford the same expensive shampoo as Becca.

"Oh, Jamie, you're too nice to me," she sighed, walking around the counter and into the living room, plopping down on the sectional couch. "I'd kill for your gene pool. You're skinny and lively; guys fawn over you left and right. You've got this exotic beach girl look with your brown eyes and tan skin. If you wanted to settle down with a guy, you'd get the pick of the litter."

I cleared my throat and winced out of her view. "I don't need a man."

She was right. I didn't let men get close. It was the big reason why I was willing to move locations across the state with Becca. "And neither do you."

"I know, I just still miss Connor sometimes."

"How can you miss him when he cheated on you?!" I scoffed.

"It's not necessarily him, I just miss being close to someone. It's nice sleeping with a warm body holding you."

I smirked. "You don't have to have a committed boyfriend for that to happen."

"Just because you can pick up guys from the bar and bring them home for the night, doesn't mean that I can," she grumbled.

"You're overthinking this." I set both of my hands on the counter. "Men will do anything for some ass. They will cuddle, and kiss, and touch, and all of that bullshit to get your clothing off."

Becca laughed. "They have to be interested in you first."

"I'll show you. Come out with me tomorrow night as a single sex kitten, and you'll realize that they are looking at you, Becca, and that they're interested."

She glanced down at herself, curling her legs to her chest and hugging them. She was so uncomfortable in her skin, and I hated that she felt terrible about her looks.

I followed her to the couch, grabbing her half-filled glass and handing it to her. "Look, if you want to drop a few pounds, I'll get on the bandwagon. Tomorrow, we'll switch to red wine and liquor."

She hesitated when I sat next to her, then took her glass from my hand. "You'll even go to the gym with me?"

I crinkled my nose, "That's pushing it."

"Come on, if you really want to help me, that's a big part of it," she pleaded. "I saw a gym down the street."

I grumbled, but conceded to her request. "Fine, if that's what you need to gain some confidence, then okay. Tomorrow, we'll go check it out, but tonight," I held up my glass, "we celebrate a fresh start."

Becca clinked her glass with mine. "Yes, to new beginnings," she agreed.

"And for knowing what we want!"

Becca nodded. "That will be our anthem. We know what we want!"

"It can be our secret code for the summer," I added.

"We're going to have fun and live in the moment, not thinking about our future," she said firmly. "That's what this summer will be all about."

We both took a long sip, then proceeded to our bedrooms to unpack. We'd eventually get back to the wine once our rooms were somewhat in order.

When I came across a specific box, I peered down the hall to make sure Becca was still in her room, then quietly closed my door. The same chill that always hit me crawled up my spine when I dug out the beat up shoe box.

Setting it on my bed, I pulled off the top, the contents hitting me with haunted memories like a weighted brick. It was full of letters, all written in beautiful ink with a pressed seal that had kept them folded in secret.

The paper he used was its original kind, a crisp black that was thicker than your average notepad entry. It even had a distinct smell to it, the kind when you'd open an antique drawer from a wooden furniture set. It was heady at first, and I always wriggled my nose from the abrupt scent.

This box was the reason why I refrained from having a genuine connection.

Taking the letter on the top, I reread its content written in white ink.

Congratulations, my love.

The day that we'll be together again is coming soon.

He had left this for me the day after I graduated from FSU with my marketing degree. I should have been overwhelmed with happiness and engulfed in success, but instead, fear struck me, wondering when he would return.

Did he know where I was now? How long would it take for the letters to start appearing again?

Chapter Two

"This is our first day of summer, and you have me up before eight-o'clock in the morning," I groaned, tying my sneakers.

"We need to make this a priority, remember? Besides, you normally run every day," Becca said, patting my shoulder.

"Yes, but this is my first day in a new place. We've busted our butts through college; I thought maybe we could at least sleep in one day."

"You'll thank me afterwards. At least that's what you always tell me."

She was right, I normally didn't have a problem waking up early, but that was because I had such a horrible time sleeping. Rummaging through all of my things to find a place for them in our new home heightened old memories, and the wheels in my mind kept turning all night. I had too many skeletons in my closet.

"Are we going to stroll around the neighborhood or what?" I sighed, standing tall and opening the door.

"Remember the gym I talked about last night? I thought we could drive there and check it out. I saw they had a roommate deal."

I scratched my ear. "I don't know if I can add that to my budget."

"Let's just check it out," she persisted.

I bit my bottom lip. Money wasn't an issue for Becca. She didn't like to use her parents' money, but she would use it for "needs." Her list of needs and wants weren't the same as most people.

"Okay," I sighed, opening the door to head out.

The gym was sitting between a cell phone repair store and a Chinese restaurant. Even though it was early in the day, the smell of fried rice and imitation crab meat wafted through the air when we passed by. I wiggled my nose. Maybe coming to a gym next to a Chinese restaurant wasn't such a good idea.

"I bet the smell goes away," Becca said, her own face contorting.

"Yeah..."

When we reached the door, the sign said Max Gym. Becca let me go first, and I was pleasantly surprised with the atmosphere. I figured it would have that weird musty smell of sweaty people, but it was actually a refreshing lemon scent, as if they had been cleaning just before we came inside.

"Welcome to Max Gym!" The front desk worker greeted us with a wave. He walked around the counter and stood in front of us. "Have you been here before?"

"Nope, we just moved here," Becca said. "Thought we'd check it out."

His grin was wide. "My name is Brandon. Let me give you both a tour." He held his hand out for Becca and I to go in front of him toward the fitness equipment. It didn't take but a millisecond for him to check out Becca's ass as she walked by.

I laughed internally when I watched him, knowing Becca was oblivious to how men checked her out. She probably thought he was too good looking to be interested in her. He wasn't bad, but decent, if you were into the giant muscle, egotistical, protein shake kind of guy that he was. His blond faux hawk and fake tan weren't my thing.

"Where are you both from?" He asked.

"We just graduated from FSU," Becca answered. "We live in the apartments a few miles south."

I ground my teeth. I didn't like how transparent she was when it came to giving out any type of information about us. I guess I would be oblivious to privacy too, if I didn't have someone writing me cryptic letters.

"That's great! I have friends who study there," he smiled, dimples forming on his cheeks. "Both are in the finance program, a part of Delta PI."

"We stayed away from those guys," I laughed half-heartedly.

He smirked at me. "Their parties can get pretty wild."

Oh, great... he's one of those guys.

"Have you been to any?" He asked Becca.

She shook her head. "I only went to a few parties at PI Kappa."

"Really? Isn't that for law students?"

"Yes. My ex-boyfriend attended their law school."

"Ex-boyfriend?" he repeated, the corner of his mouth lifting.

I stepped between them and toward a rack of weights. "Yes, they were real ragers," I said dryly, annoyed he'd met her a whole thirty seconds ago and was already fishing about whether she was single or not. "Is this the only weight room?"

He scratched the back of his neck and cleared his throat. "For free weights, yeah, but just past the treadmills we have more weight machines. This is where you can do floor exercises or core work. There's a spin studio over here," he waved for us to follow him.

"I've never taken a spin class before. Is it included with the membership?" Becca asked curiously, peeking through the glass window where all of the bikes were lined up.

Brandon was quickly by her side. "We could work something out."

His eyes scanned the length of her body again, and I couldn't contain my eye-roll. "So, spin, weights, obviously cardio machines... anything else you have to offer?"

He pulled his gaze from Becca back to me, then pointed to a door next to the spinning class. "We do offer tanning packages and have a sauna. Feel free to check out the women's locker room. That's where the sauna is located."

A small Asian woman flew out of the locker room door Brandon was pointing to. "You have no towels, AGAIN!" She furiously shook her fist. "Never any towels! The machines are always dirty, and I thought you were going to have more workers helping with instruction?"

Her eyebrows furrowed deeper. "You tell Maxine I will take my employees and customers elsewhere if she doesn't fix this!"

Brandon held his hands out to her. "Mrs. Woo, I'm so sorry. I'll get you some towels right away. We've been short staffed. Three of our employees quit because of summer."

A light bulb went off in my head.

"Still no excuse, Brandon," she grumbled. "Things need to change!"

"Excuse me, ladies," he smiled awkwardly, following Mrs. Woo to their front desk.

"So, what do you think?" Becca asked, crossing her arms and checking out the space.

"I think I might be able to get us a free membership," I said slyly.

Chapter Three

"What an amazing day!" Becca smiled broadly, smacking her hand on the bartop.

"It was pretty productive," I agreed, flipping my hair over my shoulder. I'd straightened it after an intense workout at the gym, which happened to be our new place of employment. Once Brandon said they had three employees quit, I took that as an opportunity. It was obvious he had a thing for Becca, so I knew he'd pull some strings once we filled out the paperwork.

Sure enough, the moment we got home, the owner of the gym called to tell us we were hired.

"I've never had a job at a gym before," Becca said excitedly. "It's going to be so convenient. I mean, we work, then workout, then go home! No papers or projects to worry about," she sighed heavily. "I feel like life is starting."

She was enthralled to be on her own and making her own decisions. I was just as happy for her. She was unaware of what normal graduates worried about: loans, starting an adult life by actually getting a real job, and how to pay rent. She'd figure that out once she realized we'd only be making damn near minimum wage. Her high would fade, no doubt, and she'd be smacked into reality.

"To our new journey," I smiled, taking my drink from the bartender and clinking it with Becca's. She giggled and gulped. This was going to be a fun night of celebrating. We were at a new bar with new faces. It was perfect. No one knew who we were, and that was exactly how I wanted it.

My eyes roamed the crowded bar, searching and watching for opportunities, but I always had Rod in the back of my mind.

_He can't find you here. Not yet,_ I tried to convince myself. _Colleges are public record, anyone can hack into those databases and find names. Not apartment leases._

"Is this seat taken?" A man about my age asked, his hand on the stool next to me.

I glanced at him. He was cute. "Go for it."

"Thanks. My friends are getting to the, 'I want to dance and look like a fool', stage of the night."

Becca peered over my shoulder, then lifted her brows at me. I gave my chin the slightest nod. It was a mutual communication. _He's cute, give him the time of day._

"We just started, so we shouldn't become embarrassing anytime soon."

He offered a grin. "Thanks for the heads up," and turned back to the bar.

He was cute, brown hair cut short, strong jaw line. He wore a douchy collared shirt like a frat boy though, I didn't catch his eye color.

"Becca! Jamie!" A voice rumbled next to us. "What are you two doing here?"

It was Brandon from Max Gym, and by the glimmer in his eyes, he was intoxicated. He had a few other guys with him, all of them dressed with similar polo shirts.

"Hi, Brandon," Becca greeted, her hand shooting to her hair and fussing with the curls.

His smile grew wide. "You two should have said you were coming out tonight! We could have met up!"

He put a hand on the back of each of our chairs, but his body language was zooming in on Becca. "Maybe next time," Becca said politely. "We're celebrating getting the job."

"Max Gym is lucky to have you two, and I'm glad I'll get some pretty girls to work with," he flirted.

Becca put her head down and smiled, while I held in my eye roll.

"Lucky for you, we're both competent, too," I added.

"Oh, no doubt," he cheered. "You two want to dance?"

"I'm good." I couldn't turn them down fast enough.

Becca watched me, then shook her head no.

Brandon's shoulders sagged.

I pursed my lips, and against my better judgement, I gave Becca some encouragement. "You go ahead, I'll watch our drinks."

Becca leaned in and murmured. "I can't just leave you at the bar, especially when we've never been here before."

I smiled at her loyalty. "It's fine, the dance floor is just over there."

"Yeah, I'll take care of you," Brandon intervened.

I bit my tongue from saying something smart, knowing Becca had a crush on him. She didn't outright say it, but by how she brought up his name throughout the day and by how she was eyeing him, I could tell she was attracted.

"Go, I'll be fine," I encouraged.

She bit her lip, but stood from the bar. She looked cute in her jean shorts and flowing tank.

"So you are the party pooper in the group?" The guy sitting next to me interjected.

I raised a brow at him. "No, I'm just not in the mood to dance with..." I faded off, my eye catching the collar of his shirt.

He smirked. "You don't like dumbasses? Is that what you're saying?"

I held in my laugh. "How could you tell?"

"Because all of those guys act like they were dropped on their heads as children."

"What gives you that impression?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Well, they're drunk now, but they act like that all of the time."

I pointed toward the dance floor. "Those are your friends?"

"Not by choice."

I scowled. "Forced friends?"

"Not forced, obligated."

"Do they know that?"

"At this point, they don't care. Call me the responsible older brother."

"Really?"

"Yep. I promised my mom I'd watch out for him." We both watched Brandon and the group of guys dancing like fools, hooting and hollering on the dance floor. Becca was laughing with Brandon at her side. "His friends aren't a good influence."

"That's nice of you. My brother's the same way," I said between drinks.

He lifted a brow. "Is he going to rush in and kick my ass for talking to you?"

I laughed, but the humor quickly faded. "No, he's not here."

"Well, I'm pretty harmless. Especially when I'm on babysitting duty."

"You and me both."

He nodded over to Becca. "You have to watch out for your friend?"

"Oh, no, it's normally the other way around. Becca, she's the timid one, but her ex-boyfriend is a fuckhead. I'm hoping to try and get her to loosen up some."

He rested his chin on his hand. I could see his eyes now, they were bright blue, so blue it sent a chill down my spine. "And you...?"

I held my hand to my chest. "Jamie."

"So, you, Jamie, are normally out on the dance floor like that?"

I held my hand in the air, "Guilty."

"What happens if you both get crazy?"

"Then I'll find some creeper at the bar with a collared shirt to keep an eye on us."

He smirked. "Okay, so you don't like my shirt. I get it."

I shrugged. "Too frat boy for me. Don't take it personally."

"Maybe I'm trying to blend in?"

"So, you're an undercover babysitter?"

His lip twitched upward."I think, spy, is a cooler way to say it."

"Still creeperish," I pointed out.

"Yet you're still talking to me?"

"As long as you're not being a creep to me, I think we'll be okay."

He grinned and held out his hand. "I'm Derek."

I eyed it, then slowly put my hand in his. "Nice to meet you."

My mood was shifting from how I had originally planned on spending the evening. The drinks were starting to kick in, and Derek seemed to be a good fit for the night.

"So, Jamie, where are you from?"

I took a sip of my drink, ignoring his question, then stood from the stool, my hip touching his knee. He noticed the contact, and didn't move.

"I think our detective work needs to improve," I said coyly.

He eyed me, a hint of confusion on his face by the tick of his jaw.

I leaned next to his ear. "We need to get closer to the subjects." Taking his hand, I led him to the dance floor.

"Oh, I see, you want to blend in?" He grinned, his hands finding my hips when we got onto the dance floor.

Chapter Four

"I knew you'd come out here," Becca shouted over the music.

I shrugged. "We didn't want to miss out on the fun, so we thought we'd join you."

"We know what we want!" She cheered, throwing her hands in the air.

I laughed and agreed.

We all danced to the music, Derek never taking more than a footstep away from me, but his eyes moved between me and Brandon's friends. I wasn't sure which one was his brother, because he never focused on one of them in particular.

"I was supposed to get myself home over an hour ago," Derek murmured against the shell of my ear.

I turned and faced him, setting my arms on his shoulders. "What's stopping you?"

He snuck his arms around my waist. "This chick I met at the bar."

My fingers traced along the stubble hairline of his neck. He really was handsome, and since we'd taken breaks from dancing for shots, my body was warmed up and flirty.

"I bet she could show you a good time," I whispered against his lips.

He smirked, his hands firmly roaming up my spine while we danced.

Becca was in the same boat as me, but she wasn't dancing with Brandon. Turns out he had way too much fun. Derek called him a cab and sent him home along with a few other guys in their group. There were only four of us now, and I assumed the guy that was with Becca must have been his brother.

Becca clung to her dance partner now that a slower song was on, and his hands were all over her ass. My mission to get Becca to loosen up was being accomplished, and things were looking up for me, too.

"Let's get out of here," I said slyly to Derek.

His eyes locked with mine, but then over my shoulder toward where Becca, and whom I assumed to be his brother, were dancing. "Don't worry, Becca's my roommate, and I'm sure she's ready to leave, too."

Taking his hand, I led him by Becca, giving her the nod that it was time to go back home. She smiled, then whispered in the guy's ear. He eagerly followed us out the door, trying to high five Derek. Derek only shook his head at him, then caught up to me while Becca fell back and walked beside Derek's brother.

"Where do you live?"

"Not far," I responded, keeping my arms crossed, glad the bar was in walking distance to our new apartment. The ache low in my belly was growing, and I was eager to get on top of him. He was strong and sexy and would be the icing on the cake for my new journey.

I knew sleeping with random men wasn't healthy, but I liked a good romp session as much as anyone. Mostly, it helped numb the fact that I could never have a real relationship. I knew what would happen to someone if I got close to them.

Becca was beside me, her happy go lucky smile was morphing into uncertainty.

"You like him, right?" I murmured so the guys behind us couldn't hear.

She nodded, and I shrugged. "So, have fun with him."

Her smile quickly came back, her eyes a bit hazy from the alcohol. "You're right. I deserve a little fun in my life."

We linked arms and led the way, the warm Florida night breeze kissing my neck. I itched my cheek with my shoulder. I didn't like that area to be touched. It was a risk I took when sleeping with a stranger. They always thought the neck was an erogenous zone, but not for me. I had trauma to blame for that.

"Here we are," Becca purred, letting go of my arm and dropping back to Derek's brother.

Taking the key from my purse, I opened the door for a tipsy Becca to pull her guest inside.

I smirked, watching her confidently guide him into her room.

"Is she okay to be with him?" Derek asked after I closed the door.

"Oh yeah, she knows what's going on. This is good for her."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Is it?"

Ignoring his fatherly tone, I looped my finger in his front pocket. "I know what will be good for you too."

He grinned. "Do tell."

Walking backward through the kitchen and down the hall to my room, I said. "I plan to show you."

"Can I just say, I didn't expect the evening to pan out like this?"

We came to my room, and I closed the door behind us, leaning against it. Derek was facing away from me, and chuckled when I turned off the light, leaving only the glow of a diffuser. "Still unpacking?"

"Yes." I prowled toward him, careful to not trip over a box. He spun around the moment I reached him. I lifted my hands to wrap around his neck, but he grabbed them, entwining our fingers together.

Tilting his head, his lips found mine, planting a tender kiss that lingered.

Mmm, this has potential.

"I have a feeling you might be trouble," he grinned.

"You have no idea," I murmured back, going in for another kiss.

I licked the seam of his lips, and he opened up instantly, his tongue mingling sweetly with mine. He wasn't trying to rush, which was rare for a guy who comes home with a girl after only meeting her that night. Normally they were eager to get naked and to the point.

I shared the same intentions, but Derek was different. I was finding the steadier pace more exciting.

He let go of my hands to cup my jaw, cradling my face while we kissed.

My body froze for a moment, but once I realized his hands were in place on my face and not around my neck, I took the time to let my fingers explore, finding the hem of his polo and skimming underneath it. His skin was warm to the touch, his abdomen flexing when I brushed across it. It was hard, too, the lines separating blatant muscles. He had legit abs, and I wished I hadn't turned the light off so I could get a better look.

Maybe in the morning...

No. Men were never allowed to spend the night. It was my one rule.

Becoming more impatient, I grasped his shirt and tugged upward, separating our mouths so I could yank it over his head. He didn't stop me, only stood still while my hands trailed up his chest. This dude was built. No doubt he worked out, and I couldn't believe I missed how fit he was while we were interacting at the bar earlier.

His breathing was heavy, his hands on his sides. "Are you shy?" I asked, reaching for his wrists and placing his hands on my hips.

"No, I just want you to be comfortable."

"I'd be more comfortable with less clothing," I flirted.

He let out a breathy laugh, grabbing my tank top and gently guiding it over my head, then tossed it on the floor. His fingertips brushed down my shoulders, then along my collar. My heart raced in anticipation of where he might move his hands next. My nipples ached underneath my bra, pleading to be touched. His hands were softer, maybe he had a desk job?

Wanting to move faster, I found the waistband of his shorts, dipping my fingers inside.

He cocked a brow. "You're not very patient, are you?"

I shook my head and unzipped his shorts, letting them fall to the ground.

Patience was never my strong suit.

Chapter Five

The sun beamed in through my window, and I sprawled along my bed. My head thumped some, but overall I felt sated and relaxed. I'd shipped out my guest, who impressively knew what to do when it came to a woman's body, but somehow still kept me feeling in control.

I needed that during sex, otherwise it wouldn't happen. I had my own excuses and issues on why I had to be the dominant one in the bedroom. It was another reason why I didn't get close enough with a man to maintain a steady relationship.

They were all the same, their chests puffed out and their egos so big that they became controlling Neanderthals, treating women like a possession and not a partner.

Finally peeling myself out of bed and into a shower, I retraced the path Derek's hands took on my body. The slick soap smoothed over my skin with the warm water. He was good with the amount of pressure and speed he used when he maneuvered along my body. I knew I wouldn't be that lucky with my next partner.

Once I was ready for my day, the coffee freshly brewing, I wondered how Becca's night had gone. Bringing a stranger home from the bar wasn't her specialty, and like the proud, bad influencing friend that I was, I bounced into her room to congratulate her.

My smile faded when I saw her cocooned into a ball of covers, her makeup smeared under her eyes and down her cheeks.

I dropped to my knees and put both of my hands on her bed. "Becs, what's wrong?"

"He... he..." she hiccuped, covering her mouth. "He totally used me!"

I clenched my jaw, my hand finding her back. "Was he good?"

She sniffed. "Yeah, he tried at least, I had too much alcohol to get off, but he would have kept trying if I hadn't gotten impatient."

"So... you enjoyed it?"

She sat up, sure to keep the comforter wrapped around her body. "Yeah... but Jamie," she gulped, squeezing her eyes shut. "I don't even remember his name."

I tried my hardest to hold in my smile, but I couldn't help it. "If you enjoyed it, and he was good to you, then why are you so upset? You used him to get what you wanted, too."

Her eyes opened and her jaw clenched while she took in what I was saying. "You know what, you're right. I shouldn't feel bad or guilty. He wasn't upset or clingy before he left, so why should I be?"

"That's my girl. Now get up, we have to be at our first day of work in an hour."

She groaned and rolled back on the bed. "I'm baffled by how you can drink all night then get up and be chipper and ready for the day."

I shrugged and stood from the bed. Having an orgasm helped with my over peppy mood. "I guess I just have a good gene pool."

"How was your night?" she asked me, her voice muffled from the blanket.

"It was fine."

Becca peeked over the covers, assuming I was joking. "That good?"

My grin must have been wider than I thought. "He knew what he was doing, so that was nice."

"Are you going to see him again?"

I winced. "Nah."

She laughed. "What was wrong with him?"

"Nothing."

My hair was slicked back into a ponytail, my makeup subtle to go with the less than attractive white polo shirt that said Max Gym just above my left boob. I never understood polo shirts. At least I could wear comfortable pants and tennis shoes. The perks of working at a gym. Becca kept fussing with her shirt, pulling it down as if that would make it longer.

"Stop messing with it. You look fine."

She grit her teeth. "I wish it would cover my ass."

"Why? You've got a nice ass, show it off."

She rolled her eyes and opened the door to Max's Gym.

No one was at the front desk, and I wondered if that meant Brandon had called in. He was in pretty rough shape last night.

"You must be the two new fresh meat," an older, very petite woman with a raspy voice said from behind us. She was little, but in awesome shape, and probably older than anyone would ever guess. Her silver hair was in a high ponytail. She wore the same Max Gym polo that Becca and I had.

"I'm Maxine who spoke with you on the phone, owner of this place. Sorry I didn't get to be a part of the interview process," she held her hand out to me, and I shook it.

"It's great to meet you. Thanks for the job."

Becca took her hand after me. "Yes, we won't let you down!"

Maxine smiled, but it didn't touch her eyes. "Only a few big rules. Don't be late, don't break anything, and don't sleep with the customers. I had to fire the last pretty girl who worked here because she kept screwing a guy in the tanning bed. It was horrible, and I don't want to deal with that again. Understand?"

I gave her a thumbs up. "Voyeuring isn't really my thing."

"Same here," Becca said quickly.

"Great. Let me show you the ropes. There's not much to it. You both know how to use weight machines?"

We nodded. "Good, then I'll skip that tutorial. You can help out members, but if they start asking for how much weight to use and what not, they need to book a session with our personal trainer. He's around here somewhere."

The job was pretty easy, mainly keeping machines clean and being friendly to customers. Becca was all about it, quick to do every little thing, making sure she got each and every spot clean on every machine. Made my job of sitting and greeting members at the front desk easy.

"There's a deck of cards in the bottom drawer if you get bored," a husky voice said from behind me. For a moment I thought it was Brandon, but when I turned around, Derek was leaning over the counter, a Max Gym polo on his strong frame.

Chapter Six

I had to clamp my jaw shut when I saw him. There he was, but in good lighting, the same clean cut hair gelled into a faux hawk, his skin tanner than I remembered, same cool blue eyes that gave me a chill. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Um, hi." I said quickly, then turned back to the new employee form Maxine instructed me to fill out.

"You didn't tell me you worked at a gym," he said smoothly. "Then again, you kicked me out before we could chat."

"I was tired," I said nonchalantly.

I felt him moving around the counter until he was standing next to me. I kept my eyes on the paper. "Yeah, I know the feeling," he chided. "But, I get it. Did you mean to not give me your phone number...?"

My jaw clenched. This wasn't a traditional problem because I never saw the guys I slept with again. "Did I not give it to you? Must have slipped my mind."

He watched, a slight smirk forming on his lips. "Yeah, must have."

I kept my focus on the paperwork, but I couldn't seem to write anything, knowing he was peering over my shoulder. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah," he pointed to where I had my pen set on the paper. "Waiting on you to write down your phone number."

I whipped my head in his direction. "I'm not giving you my phone number."

He smiled, but it didn't match his eyes. "I know, but Maxine needs it, and in order for me to file the paper, I need your information."

"Oh. Right." Reluctantly, I scribbled the number on the sheet, my anxiety beginning to rise. "This is confidential, right?"

He smirked. "Of course. When you're done with that, I'll train you on our software system."

"That won't be necessary."

He lifted a brow. "How are you going to sign up new members? Or check on their accounts?"

"I'm pretty bright, I'm sure I can figure it out." He didn't know Maxine had already given us the run through, but I couldn't help but banter with him.

"Confident, even when you're not drinking."

I narrowed my eyes at him, then put my attention back on the paperwork.

"It's a good trait," he added, slipping behind me to grab a towel. "You have a few of them."

I sighed and set my pen down, turning to face him. "Look, I think it's best if we just forget last night happened."

His happy go lucky demeanor never changed. "That would be a shame, but I wasn't referring to last night."

"When else would you be referring to?"

"Today. I'm very observant."

I lifted one brow, clenching my jaw.

"You've greeted customers with a smile, you've kept yourself busy instead of just surfing the internet, like most of the employees here do, and you're wearing a polo shirt," his grin widened at the last comment.

"That's not being observant."

"No?" he questioned.

"Yeah, that's called, being a creeper," I pointed out. "We discussed the meaning of that word last night."

"Nah," he waved his hand. "It's called being a good manager."

I pointed my finger at him, "Another reason to not date you."

He held his hand to his chest. "Wow, you didn't stagger at all with that statement."

"Was I supposed to be intimidated?"

A frown settled on his face. "That's the last way I'd want you to feel."

I paused, not expecting him to answer so seriously. "Don't worry, I wasn't," I said lightly. "It's no offense or anything, I just don't date guys I work with," I lied, considering that was how my first, and only traumatic relationship started.

His lip quirked upward. "I haven't asked you on a date yet."

"Then we have nothing to worry about." I held my finished paper to him, and he took it.

"Great. Then you won't mind me putting your number in my phone."

My eyes bugged out. "What? No, that's not--"

"Hey, Jamie, come over here and meet Mrs. Woo!" Maxine shouted from across the gym.

I waved, then reached back for the paper, but Derek quickly moved it from my reach. "Mrs. Woo is a very important customer, you need to go learn how to kiss her ass."

"I'll just block you," I said harshly, walking around the counter to join Maxine.

"Not a good idea if I'm calling you about work," he called out. "Good morning, Mrs. Woo!"

Chapter Seven

"Do you think we should keep coming to this bar?" Becca said quietly, fussing with the straw in her drink.

"Why?" I asked simply, flipping my straightened hair over my shoulder. "This is only the second time we've been here?"

She sipped the clear drink daintily, her light pink lipstick leaving a mark. "What if we see that group of guys again?"

I held in my laugh. "You mean, the group that happened to have two of them working at the same gym as us?"

Her mouth formed a thin line. "Yeah, and I'm thankful the one I slept with doesn't work there."

I lifted my brows. "You got the good part of that deal. At least you didn't sleep with Brandon."

Her shoulders fell. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be complaining. I feel weird enough working with Brandon, wondering if he knows I had a one night stand with one of his friends."

I shook my head. "I bet Brandon has no idea you slept with one of his friends, and even if he does know, he most likely doesn't care."

"Maybe," she sighed, messing with the lining of her tank top.

"Stop, it's supposed to show off your boobs."

Becca bit her bottom lip and dropped her hands. "I'm more worried it's going to show off my areola." Her shirt was extremely low cut for her norm, and her bra squeezed her boobs together perfectly. If I were a lesbian, I'd be attracted.

"Brandon is nice, I just don't want him to think less of me."

"He doesn't, I guarantee it."

She sucked on her bottom lip, her forehead furrowing with worry. "Even if he did, who cares? You need to stop worrying so much about what other people think."

Her features softened. "You're right. I'm working on it. Brandon is way hotter than his friend, I probably should have chosen him instead."

We both laughed, not realizing we were being approached.

"Excuse me, ladies, but those two men over there wanted me to give these to you," the bartender interrupted, placing two more drinks next to the ones we already had.

I held my glass up to the two men he was referring to, giving them a nod of gratitude. They were young, which explains the reason why they were too chicken shit to bring the drinks to us on their own.

"Should we go thank them?" Becca asked, gently waving in their direction.

"Um, no," I said quickly. "If they want it, they can come get it." Becca's brows scrunched. "They'll come," I sighed. "We look hot as shit, which is why they felt like they couldn't approach us."

"I don't know..." she said quietly, but like clockwork, the two men made their way behind us.

"Hi there," one said, his teeth so white they could have blinded me. "Hope it's okay we bought you ladies a drink."

"How could we say no?" I asked, with a smile. He was cute, obviously superficial with his perfectly styled short hair and tucked in polo.

His friend sat down next to Becca, saying something that made her grin, while Mr. White Teeth sat next to me. "He's shy, has trouble talking to beautiful women," he said softly so Becca so his friend wouldn't hear him.

Although I gave him a smile, I kept a critical eye on him the rest of the night. His shoulders weren't broad, and by how his shirt rolled when he sat he definitely had a beer gut. His brown eyes were warm, but I didn't trust him, then again, I didn't trust anyone.

The more he talked, the more I realized he wasn't carefree or quick witted, and after dancing with him for a few songs, I knew he wasn't gifted in the rhythm department.

Derek had a personality.

Derek had strong shoulders and a six pack.

Derek was genuine.

I shook my head. Why was I comparing this guy to Derek?

Derek was a one night stand, just like this guy would be. Someone to keep my bed warm for the inevitable moment, and to hopefully cure the ache that filled between my legs.

Maybe once I slept with another man, the thoughts of Derek would disappear.

"Want to come back to my place?" I asked against his ear while we were on the dance floor.

He pulled back, his eyes widening slightly. This was new to him.

Nodding, he said, "Yeah, let me just..." he searched for his friend, who was back by the bar with Becca, their knees touching while they laughed. "I need to tell my friend."

"Sure," I grinned, leading him off of the dance floor. Becca caught me out of the corner of her eye, a soft haze to her blue eyes.

She leaned into her company, whispering in his ear, and the same, lapdog, dumbstruck grin formed on his face.

Men were too easy.

"You ready to go?" I asked Becca, already knowing the answer.

She smiled, holding her hand out for the man to take.

One week, two men, yeah, probably should feel more shame, but I needed to get Derek out of my head.

Mr. White Teeth would hopefully solve the problem.

Chapter Eight

The first month of summer at Max Gym passed by, and although I worked with Derek, he kept busy at work, so our interactions were minimal. Along with being the manager, he was also a personal trainer who kept a full schedule. He was constantly on display, demonstrating workout tactics and activities. It made daydreaming about our night together hard to forget about.

The familiar ache would form between my legs, and I needed to take care of it soon, either on my own or by finding some fun at the bar. We'd gone out many times since I'd been with Derek, but I hadn't been with anyone who knew what they were doing, including Mr. White Teeth. He was a let down who left me hanging. It's amazing how many morons there are in this town. I couldn't even find a guy with decent dance moves. Maybe it was time to try a new bar.

"That guy over there, he never washes the machines when he's done," Becca said in disgust while we watched from the desk counter at Max Gym. "I don't get it, he's the sweatiest guy here."

"Better go follow him with a towel," I teased, clicking through the internet in search of a new bar. So, I may have turned into 'the other girls', as Derek put it, and surfed the web when we had down time. It wasn't like I had other things to do.

Becca wiggled her nose. "I'll pass. If there were more people here, I'd do it, but it's dead."

"Typical Friday afternoon," I sighed. "I'm surprised Maxine stays open so late on Fridays."

"I've already asked her about it," Brandon interrupted. "She says, not everyone is interested in partying like the rest of you young people." He turned to Becca. "Hey Becs, you going out tonight?"

She smiled, then shrugged. "Maybe."

He grinned back at her, and I smirked. They totally liked each other, but Becca kept her blinders on, thinking he wasn't interested and was only being 'nice'. Brandon had hinted going out together as a group, but the timing never worked out. I was proud of her for never mentioning being with his friend.

"We need a new bar to go to," I said to Brandon.

"You could always go into the city."

I winced. "Maybe not that big."

"He might be right, Jamie, maybe we should go downtown."

Downtown would be fun, there would be tons of people, and I'd been avoiding bars like that for a reason. Although, it would be easier for my letter giver to find me if I kept the same pattern. Changing up my destination regardless should be happening.

"Maybe. I'll check them out."

"Let me know if you need a guide," Brandon offered.

"Thanks," Becca smiled, then it faded. The same sweaty guy she'd been complaining about was dripping his own body fluid on the bench press machine. "Okay, I can't take it anymore. That's too gross." She darted off with the towel toward the big, sweaty guy, and I laughed.

Brandon watched her as she left. "What's her story?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've been dropping hints like crazy, but she doesn't seem to take them."

I grinned. "She doesn't take compliments well. You have to be pretty blunt with her."

He turned and focused on Becca, who was bending over a machine to clean underneath it. He was staring shamelessly now, his head tilting along with Becca's hips. "Yeah, I guess I can try that."

"Don't you have a class you should be preparing for?" Derek interrupted, swatting Brandon on the arm to get his attention. He was sweaty across the brow, his pecs damp against his gray shirt. I diverted my eyes back to the computer screen, not wanting to be caught ogling his physique. I knew what that chest felt like on my hands, stomach, back... it was quite a wild night for not being anything serious.

"I've got time," Brandon faced me, his smirk broad. "You can handle the front desk on your own, right? I'm going to see if Becca wants to shadow me during my spin class."

Derek's brows furrowed in disappointment. I matched his expression. "I think you'll be the one shadowing her."

Brandon was puzzled by my comment. "Huh?"

I laughed. "She has to watch you, not you watch her."

"That's what I said, for her to shadow me," Brandon repeated, not getting that I had caught him gaping at her like a horny teenager.

"You can't leave Jamie by herself, either," Derek snapped.

I whipped my head in his direction. "Are you saying I can't handle being at the front desk alone?"

Derek's eyes widened. "No, that's not what I said."

I glared at him. "Because this job isn't rocket science, and I can handle it on my own."

Brandon raised his voice. "Yeah, Derek, she can handle it herself. Hey, Becca," he called to her. "Want to learn how to teach a spin class?"

Becca hurried over, throwing the towel she was using in the dirty bin. "That would be great!"

Brandon's smile widened, then he turned to Derek. "You shouldn't be such a sexist."

Derek threw his arms in the air. "I wasn't being sexist!"

"No, just a chauvinist," I grumbled.

"Why, because I don't want you to be alone at the front desk?" he defended. "Forgive me for being concerned."

"Brandon covers the front desk by himself every day," Becca added.

Brandon put his arm around Becca's shoulders, _tsking_ at Derek. "You're being very prejudice right now."

Derek eyed Brandon's interaction with Becca, his jaw tightening. "You're right," he deadpanned. "I'm a big, insensitive jerk who shouldn't care about a woman's feeling of security and safety."

Brandon smacked Derek on the shoulder. "You need to work on that," he said, then guided Becca to the spin studio.

Derek watched them walk away, then turned to me. "You know that wasn't what I was implying, right?"

I shrugged, my irritation still there.

He sighed heavily. "I only meant I didn't want you to feel like you were here all by yourself, in case some big idiot like Brandon started hitting on you."

I raised a brow at him. "Thanks, but I don't think that's something you should be concerned with."

His jaw remained tense. "Call me old fashioned, but I believe a woman should be treated with respect, and I've worked at this gym long enough to know there are still sick assholes out there who think they can say or do whatever they want to women."

"I agree with you," I said nonchalantly. "But, that doesn't mean I can't do the job on my own, or handle one of those big idiots without someone else's help."

His shoulders fell. "You're right, and I'm sorry if that's what you thought I meant, because it wasn't."

The fact that he apologized eased my irritation. "Okay, apology accepted."

He gave me a curt nod, then slid behind me to grab a water. I got a whiff of his scent, and although I should have been grossed out by his musty stench, it did the opposite. He was sexy and smelled delicious.

"You don't have to babysit me," I swallowed, well aware of his proximity while I scanned the computer screen.

"I'm not. I'm drinking water," he said easily, taking another big swig. "I wanted to ask you something."

_Don't ask about going out tonight_ , I pleaded in my head.

"It's about Becca."

"Yeah?"

"She's not interested in Brandon, is she?"

I shrugged. "I know she's attracted to him, but I think she's worried about what he thinks of her sleeping with his friend, you know, your brother."

Derek scowled at me. "My brother?"

I took my eyes off of the computer screen. "You know, from that night a few weeks ago."

A grin pressed to his lips. "Oh, I remember, and it was more than a few weeks ago, but that's not my brother."

I flushed from the sparkle that formed in his eyes. Was he picturing me riding him like I was? "Then who was that guy?"

"My brother's friend."

"Oh. Then, who is your brother?"

He squinted at me. "Really?"

I mimicked him. "Yeah?"

He pointed to his personal training card on the counter. His last name was Baum, and it happened to be next to Brandon's card, who shared the same last name. How did I not make the connection?

"Wait, Brandon's your brother?"

He nodded. "Yes, he's who I feel the need to babysit."

I tipped my head from side to side. "I get it."

"Look, Becca needs to be careful around his friends. I'm not saying they're all bad, but they've been known to treat women pretty shitty."

I narrowed my eyes. "Becca can handle herself."

"I believe you, but it's scientifically proven that men are stronger than women, and I would hate it if something were to happen to her because of my brother and his friends."

I crossed my arms and glared at him. "You really are a chauvinist."

His jaw dropped, and he snapped it closed. "Unbelievable. Do you really think I'd be saying this to be controlling?"

"You assume just because a woman might not be classified as 'stronger' means they can't handle themselves."

His eyes searched my face. "Yes, you can't move if a boulder lands on you."

"That's a dumb metaphor," I huffed, strolling around the counter to go do a lap around the gym. I needed to get away from him before he said something else that pissed me off.

"Don't worry, I'll cover the counter," he spat after me. I threw up my middle finger at him, and he laughed in disbelief.

Chapter Nine

Becca had convinced me to go out with her and Brandon at a bar closer to downtown Orlando. I didn't want to go so near the heart of the city, but I didn't want Becca to go by herself. Yeah, I was annoyed with Derek's warning, but I also needed to be a good friend, just in case.

"This isn't too short, is it?" Becca asked, tugging on her new dress.

"No way, not with how awesome your legs are looking," I whistled.

It had been almost six weeks of working at the gym, which meant we had exercised every damn day after or before our shifts. As much as I didn't like it, I couldn't complain about the results we were both getting.

She smoothed the black fabric down her stomach. "I've lost 14lbs," she smiled. "Can you really tell?"

"Not that you needed to lose weight, but yes, I can tell. You're a sex kitten, Becs."

Her grin widened while she looked at herself in the mirror. "I think I might make a move on Brandon tonight."

"Just remember you'll have to see him at work," I said, fixing my hair in the mirror next to her. I was wearing a jean skirt and a tank top, my skin glowing from the summer sun.

"I think it'll be worth it. I've never been with a guy who has abs. That dude from the bar a few weeks ago fooled me, I thought for sure he'd be supporting a six pack, but no."

I rolled my eyes. Brandon was always lifting his shirt to wipe sweat from his face, letting his hand linger against his cheek while he flexed the very dominant muscles. "If you're into him, then I say go for it."

She nodded, swiping crimson lipstick across her lips. "Let's do this."

***

We drove separately to the bar from Brandon, who apparently wasn't following the same time stamp as us. We'd been there for over an hour, about to order our second round of drinks.

"You don't think he's bailing on us, do you?" Becca asked nervously, fidgeting with her phone.

I grabbed her wrist. "No, and if he does, who cares? Don't you dare call him," I warned. "He's not worth groveling over to come hang out with us. He probably got caught up at another bar or something. I'm sure he's with his friends from FSU. You know how those frat guys are."

She shrugged, but worry still furrowed her brows.

"Come on, let's go dance," I encouraged, standing from the barstool and tugging her along. I didn't want her to hover over her phone and worry about a guy she didn't need to invest her time with. He was nice enough, but Becca would never bring him home to her parents, and the selfish part of me wasn't ready for her to settle down. I liked having her carefree and willing to be nomadic. I hadn't gotten a creepy letter from Rod in the six weeks we'd been in our new place, and I was beginning to think he'd lost my trail.

"You're right, Jay, let's have fun anyway. I've seen plenty of hot guys walk in and out of this place," Becca smiled.

We began to dance, not caring about anyone around us. This was the best part about our friendship. We could turn off the negative and the responsibility when we were together, the focus being on having fun.

But Becca's happy go lucky mood morphed into fear at the drop of a dime. She ducked her head behind me. "Fuck!" She shouted into my shoulder.

"What?" I said loudly.

Her tan skin went pale before my eyes. "Ashlynn and Connor are here."

Chapter Ten

My jaw clenched and my eyebrows narrowed. "Fuck them. You're looking hot and Connor can see what he's missing out on."

Becca's eyes began to moisten. "I'm not ready to see them dancing together."

My lips pursed. Ashlynn had purposely been all over Connor whenever Becca was around during our last semester at school. "Stop it. He's not worth your tears."

She crouched more behind me, her fingers shooting over her mouth, chewing on her nails. The confident Becca that had emerged over the past few months was gone, and now she was back to the uncertain girl with low self-esteem.

I grabbed a hold of her shoulders, giving her a gentle shake. "Don't do this."

Her whole body trembled. "I can't... I'm sorry, but I have to go."

She knocked my hands away and rushed toward the bathroom.

"Becca, wait!" I shouted over the loud music, but it was hopeless. She shuffled through the sea of dancing bodies as if she were covered in butter, slipping away and out of sight.

Fiery overpowered me, my body becoming overheated with rage. I hated that my best friend shriveled when it came to some mean girl who couldn't find her own boyfriend, but vindictively stole him from the nicest girl in the world.

I spun on my heels, marching toward the bar where Connor was sitting on a stool with Ashlynn perched beside him, her arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind.

Ashlynn noticed me right away, her eyes narrowing, but a big, fake smile grew across her lips. "Jamie, how are you? I thought you moved or fell off the planet?"

My lip quirked with irritation. "I did, but apparently I didn't move far enough away. Connor," I acknowledged him, and he gave me an awkward wave as a greeting. He was terrified of me, as he should be.

"Shame." She searched over my shoulder, a frown knitting her brow. "Where's Becca? Is she with you? She hasn't answered any of my phone calls."

"Probably because she blocked your number."

Ashlynn held her hand to her chest. "Why on earth would she do that?"

I crossed my arms and glared at her. "I'd say it's because you're a conniving bitch who's fucking her ex-boyfriend, but what do I know?"

Connor winced while Ashlynn held her nose in the air. "Becca isn't like that. She doesn't hold grudges. We talked about it and she understands that Connor and I were meant for each other."

"Can't deny that," I deadpanned. "Liars and cheaters belong together. You need to leave."

Ashlynn dropped her hands from Connor and stepped toward me. "I didn't know you were the bouncer?"

"Yep, we don't allow sleaze balls into this bar, and since you two are the perfect example, you need to get going," I said firmly, waving my hands as if I were shooing them away.

Ashlynn held her chin high. "Is that so?"

Connor stood from his stool, holding his hands in the air and stepping between us, glancing at Ashlynn then back to me. "Jamie, I know you hate me, but we don't want any trouble. We'll leave-"

Ashlynn's hand flew out to his chest, pushing him to the side. "No, we won't leave. We can be in any bar we want."

My feet flew forward, my face so close to her I could smell her expensive lipstick. "I'd listen to your boyfriend if I were you."

"The only sleaze ball that needs to leave this bar, is you," she sneered back, not batting an eye. "I'm sure that's what you're doing here, just finding some random guy to fuck. That's what you always did best. That's probably why you can't get a boyfriend, you're used and loose."

I saw red, wanting to claw her eyes out and tear her prissy blonde hair out of her head and shred it.

A large hand grabbed my bicep. "Jamie, there you are," the deep timbre of Derek's voice rang. "Brandon and his friends are on their way, why don't you come join us."

Ashlynn scanned the length of Derek, that same mischievous grin forming on her face. It was the same one she used when she sought out Connor, but I wasn't blinded by love like Becca.

"Go back to the hole you crawled out of," I said to Ashlynn, completely ignoring Derek's approach.

His grip became firmer on my arm. "Jamie, want to dance?"

I ignored his invite. Why was he even here?

Ashlynn flipped her hair, her chin held high. "Is this your flavor of the night? I'm impressed he even knows your name."

My nostrils flared and my muscles tightened. Yanking my arm from Derek, I reached for Connor's beer that was sitting on the bar top, then threw it directly in Ashlynn's face.

She didn't see it coming, both of her hands flew to her hair, her face scrunching in horror. "You crazy bitch!" She screamed. "You're going to pay for that!"

Derek's arm found my waist, scooping me up and throwing me over his shoulder in one swift swoop. "It's time for us to go," he said quickly, hauling off toward the door.

"Put me down!" I yelled, pounding into his back with both fists. "I'm not some rag doll!"

Derek ignored my shouting and balled up fists that were apparently doing no damage to his personal trainer physique. The busy bar had barely noticed Ashlynn and I's interaction, but the few who did were laughing hysterically as Derek hauled me away.

He didn't set me down until we were outside and past the lineup that had formed to get into the bar.

"Why the hell did you do that?" I shouted, tugging on my skirt and fixing my tank top. "I wasn't done with that skank!"

Derek crossed his arms and stood in front of me. "I figured it would be better to get you out of there before she decided to call the police."

I scowled at him. "What are they going to do? Charge me for beer abuse?"

"You were going to put your hands on her if I hadn't intervened."

I pointed to my chest. "I know how to handle myself. I don't need you to save the day."

He lifted a brow. "I don't doubt that you can handle yourself."

"Then why the hell did you pick me up as if I were a child?!" I shouted.

"Because you were acting like a child," he said sternly.

I threw both of my hands in the air, letting out a huff, then stormed down the street to get away from him.

"I didn't know how else to get you out of there," he muttered, quickly catching up to me.

I ignored him, reaching into my back pocket to get my phone. "Whatever. I have to go find Becca."

"She's with Brandon."

"How would you know?" I snapped, sending Becca a text.

"Because I came into the bar with him. We saw Becca on her way to the bathroom. Brandon stayed with her while I came to look for you. I had a feeling something was going down by how upset Becca was."

I rolled my eyes. "She would have been fine. Don't feed into this. Why are you even here?"

Derek grabbed my arm again, stopping me. "Because I want to be. Who was the chick?"

I shrugged him off. "That would be Ashlynn. She grew up with Becca, went to college with us, and stole her boyfriend."

"Stole who's boyfriend?"

"Becca's." I said impatiently. "That guy that was with Ashlynn-"

"The girl who you threw beer in her face?" he interrupted.

"Yes, and the idiot who looked like a lost puppy? Connor, he dated Becca for almost three years. Then he cheated on Becca with Ashlynn, but Ashlynn totally seduced him. He's still a douche bag, but I know it wouldn't have happened if Becca would have dumped her as a friend a long time ago."

Derek rubbed the back of his neck with both hands. "So, how does this involve you?"

My eyes bugged out. "What do you mean, how does this involve me? Becca is my best friend."

He scrunched his eyes. "So, you were willing to get in a fight with that girl, even though she didn't actually do anything to you personally?"

"Yes," I said, baffled. "Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

"I guess that makes sense. I'm just not one for violence."

"I told you I wasn't going to actually fight her," I grumbled.

A smirk threatened his lips. "Were you going to throw a burger in her face next?"

I snorted at the thought. For whatever reason, a vivid picture of Ashlynn being smacked in the face with a burger patty, ketchup, and mustard smearing into her eyes and hair.

"What's so funny?" he smiled.

I shook my head and laughed. "I just got the urge to find a burger joint."

"I'll take you to a burger place, but you have to promise to not throw anything in anyone's face," Derek grinned.

"That's a tough promise to keep," I sighed. "But really, I'm okay, I'm not actually hungry."

"No? That's too bad, I know a great place."

I smiled back at him. "Do they have drinks?"

"Let's go find out." He picked up his phone and swiped the screen, then held it to his ear. "Hey, you still with Becca?... Yeah, we can go there." His eyes landed on me. "If it's not too touristy for them."

"If you take me to Downtown Disney, I might throw up," I warned.

He shook his head. "City Walk."

I winced, but nodded okay. Ashlynn and Connor wouldn't be there, and that was a start.

"Margaritas it is!" he cheered, then hung up the phone. "Come on, I'll drive."

Chapter Eleven

"Hey," Becca waved when we found each other in the parking ramp of City Walk. "I'm sorry I freaked back there."

I gave her a hug. "I know it's still shitty for you to see them."

"I hate that I'm so affected by it," she sighed, crossing her own arms. "I mean, he treated me like shit, right? Why should I be so upset that he chose her over me?"

"He was an idiot for not choosing you," Brandon flirted, putting his arm around her shoulders. Becca's tanned face went flush, a small smile creeping on her face.

Their interaction gave me hope. Maybe Brandon would be a good fit for Becca.

Brandon led the way with Becca still tucked under his arm. Derek kept his hands in his pockets, strolling next to me. He had a different light to him tonight. He looked mature, more composed. He had probably always been the mature one, but I refused to look for it the past few months. Maybe Derek could be good for me too. He did say he wasn't one for violence, and that had been one of my biggest fears when debating another relationship.

Thoughts of what Ashlynn said at the bar ran through my mind. Was I just a sleaze ball? Having a different flavor of the week because I couldn't keep a guy?

I bit the sides of my cheeks. It wasn't because men didn't want to have a relationship with me, it was because I was afraid of who they might become once I fell in love with them.

"You okay?" Derek asked as we walked through the covered entrance to the row of touristy bars and restaurants.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugged. "You've got that worried, deep in thought look on your face."

"No, I don't."

He pointed at my forehead. "Those creases are going to stay if you keep thinking about whatever it is you're thinking about."

Touching my forehead, I frowned. "Seriously? There are creases?"

He grinned. "Nah, I'm just making conversation."

His teeth sparkled against his tan skin, dimples showing up on his cheeks. Were those always there, or had I just never noticed them?

We walked to the end of the row of restaurants, stopping at a cargo plane resting on a man-made lake. Lights were strewn along a few palm trees, tables of people filled around it.

"Really?" I chided. "Margaritaville?"

His smile broadened. "Not a fan?"

"Of the prices? No. I could get the same drink at Applebees for half the money."

"Lucky for you, I'm feeling generous," he murmured against my ear.

"Well, if you insist," I sighed dramatically.

"It'll only be a small wait," Brandon said after talking to the hostess. "They're cleaning a table for us. Did I hear you say drinks were on you?"

Derek glared at Brandon. "Not yours."

Brandon shrugged. "Fine." Then turned to Becca, asking her a question. I wasn't paying attention.

I continued to scan Derek, my curiosity getting the best of me. I tapped my bottom lip. "There's something different about you."

He raised a brow.

"Maybe it's because you're wearing a t-shirt and not a polo."

He threw his head back and laughed, grabbing the hem of his grey t-shirt. "No, I am not."

"Were they all dirty?" I teased.

"Yes. I ran out of polos, and I save my salmon colored one for special occasions."

I nodded my head toward Brandon. "Do you pop that collar too?"

Derek followed my gaze, landing on Brandon and his bright cyan polo with the collar, lifted, the fabric brushing against his jaw whenever he turned his head.

He smirked. "You like that look?"

I laughed and shook my head.

Our table was ready within a few minutes, and the four of us sat down, soon having giant margaritas placed in front of us.

"These must have a zillion calories in them," Becca grumbled, playing with the straw.

Brandon elbowed her. "You're at the gym every day, don't worry about it. I'll work it off with you in the morning."

She smiled and took a sip from the straw, Brandon watching her intently.

"I'm not working out tomorrow," I announced, throwing my hands in the air. "Because this will for sure give me a hangover."

"Good thing I'll be there manning the counter," Derek sighed.

"Mom's got it," Brandon waved. "She likes working Sunday mornings. She says the gym is her church."

"Wait, Maxine is your mom?" Becca asked.

Both Brandon and Derek exchanged glances. "Yes... did you two really not connect those dots?"

"Apparently not," I laughed. "Now I know how you two got the job."

"What, we didn't get it because of our incredible work ethic?" Derek teased.

"Yeah, what are you trying to say?" Brandon added.

"You spend more time looking at your biceps in the mirror than you do at work," Becca said, causing the rest of us to laugh.

"They aren't lying," Derek agreed, rubbing underneath his eyes while he laughed.

Brandon shrugged his shoulders, knowing he was guilty.

"You're a great spin instructor, though," Becca added, her soft heart felt bad for teasing him.

"Thanks. Glad I'm good at more than just looking in the mirror," he mumbled.

"No, but really, you're a great teacher. Very passionate about your job."

Brandon shrugged.

Derek pointed at Brandon. "He needs to finish getting his certification and become a personal trainer."

Brandon scowled at him. "I'll get to it."

"Yeah, then you'll be rolling in the dough like this guy," I chided, nodding to Derek.

Derek chuckled. "Rolling isn't the correct terminology, but it is a steady job, and that would be good for you."

"Okay, dad," Brandon grumbled.

"Wait, he's your dad? I thought he was your brother?"I joked, and the rest of the table laughed, even Brandon.

"Our dad lives on Marco Island with our stepmom," Derek said. "He and mom got divorced when we were little."

"I'm sorry," Becca said sincerely.

Brandon snorted. "I'm not. All they did was fight and scream at each other. I was finally able to sleep at night after he left."

"That sucks," I mumbled. My parents had their share of arguments when I was in high school, and most of them were because of me. Thankfully, they worked it out and are happy now, taking care of my many siblings in south Florida.

"My dad just worked a lot," Becca said nonchalantly. "He and my mom hardly fought, at least not that I know of."

"Do they live in Florida?" Brandon asked.

"No, I'm from Michigan," Becca said quietly.

Brandon grinned. "I wondered where your cute little accent came from."

Becca flushed at his compliment.

Derek turned to me. "Where's your family from?"

I took a drink from my margarita. I hated answering personal questions. It always seemed to bite me in the ass. "They're from Florida."

Derek waited for me to elaborate, but I kept my mouth closed, pretending to be interested in Brandon and Becca's conversation.

The rest of the night flowed easily, all of us exchanging words and laughing, drinking our overly priced margaritas and munching on chips and salsa. Derek didn't ask me any more personal questions, and I was thankful. I liked Derek, and I wanted to spend more time with him, but I wasn't ready to open up about my past.

"I had fun tonight," Derek said quietly as we pulled up to my apartment. Becca and Brandon weren't ready to be done with the night, but Derek had to work in the morning, and I wasn't in the mood to be the third wheel.

"Me too. Thanks for bringing me home."

"Uber driver's aren't always the best, and you're not that far from my house."

I sat in the front seat for a moment, contemplating what I should do. My body was buzzing from the alcohol, my thighs clenching from the tingle traveling right to my core. I wanted him to come inside, to repeat our night from before.

His hand was firmly on the shifter once we parked, his eyes hooded. "Want me to walk you to the door?"

I nodded, finding the handle and opening the door. I stumbled slightly, cursing my wedges.

Derek was at my side in an instant, holding his arm out for me to take. "One too many margaritas?" He joked, walking us up the steps and to the door.

"Yeah, that tequila sneaks up on me. I'm going to feel like shit tomorrow," I laughed.

Derek chuckled, stopping in front of the door, waiting for me to find my keys in my purse. "Thanks for throwing me over your shoulder at the bar tonight."

He lifted a brow. "Wow, Margaritas bring out apologies, too? Normally anger and resentment comes out with alcohol."

I tried to hide my smile. "I won't say it again, but I don't like violence either. I wouldn't have touched Ashlynn, but I'm thankful you removed me from the situation, even if it was embarrassing."

He lifted his hand, gently tucking a stray strand behind my ear. "You are welcome."

I gently touched his chest with my pointer finger. "Now, if I'm drinking Vodka, you might want to keep your distance."

He squinted, his lips curling into a smile. "So, which liquor makes your clothes fall off?"

I flushed, a color that didn't strike my cheeks often. My hand scrunched into a fist, pressing gently into his chest.

He touched my cheek with two fingers, tilting my face to make eye contact. His blue eyes were vibrant while they gazed into mine. "Have I left you speechless?"

"Doesn't happen often," I whispered.

Smirking, he leaned forward, keeping his fingers on my jaw, and kissed me sweetly. He didn't let his lips linger long, leaving before I had the chance to deepen the kiss.

"Have a good night," he murmured, his lips still inches from mine.

I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and haul him in for another kiss, but I stayed still. As bad as I craved a warm body, something deep inside of me told me no. He just might be worth the wait, even though we'd already spent a night tangled up together. I shouldn't rush into bed with him.

He didn't move his hand, his fingers still caressing my cheek. It felt nice and gentle, a softness I wasn't used to feeling with a man that I was contemplating letting into my life.

I squeezed the key in my hand, then swallowed, forcing my gaze away from his. I would have said something I'd regret if I had maintained eye contact. "Good night Derek."

He hesitated before dropping his hand from my face, not moving his feet while I opened my door. Did he want me to invite him inside? I'd done it so easily before, but tonight was different. We actually talked, and the night was oddly more intimate. Images of his shirtless self toyed with my imagination, goading me to give in and get lost in him.

Before I could say the words, he took a step backward, grabbing hold of the railing and taking a few steps down the stairs. "I'll see you at work," he smiled, waiting for me to step inside and close the door.

"See you," I murmured, slipping inside and closing the door behind me.

Chapter Twelve

Becca was humming while scrambling eggs, her hair in a high ponytail wearing her gym clothing, a shit eating grin on her face.

"Did you have fun last night?" I asked, sitting on the barstool by the kitchen counter.

She glanced at me, her grin broadening. "Yes. It was fun."

"Fun?"

She nodded. "I like him. He's nice, a bit wild and damaged, but it's fun. Reminds me of my high school fling."

"Gage? Yeah, I guess I could see that. Although, Gage was more of a bad boy, while Brandon is more of a frat boy."

Becca laughed. "Gage was naughty, but Brandon is sporadic and doesn't care what other people think, and his body is... wow."

"Ah, so we did make it to a few bases?" I flirted.

Becca giggled, dumping the eggs onto a plate. "We got a little handsy during dancing, but I wouldn't say we rounded any bases."

"So you came home alone?" I prodded. "He's not sleeping in your bed right now?"

She frowned. "Yeah, I didn't invite him back. Maybe if you would have entertained Derek," she teased, "Brandon wouldn't have felt guilty leaving his brother."

My brows furrowed. We had left Margaritaville while Brandon and Becca went to other clubs. What was she talking about?

"Derek was texting him last night?"

Becca matched my scowl. "No, he came back to the bar after dropping you off. He said you were tired, and he got a second wind."

My frown deepened. Was he looking for a nightcap with another girl since I didn't put out? Anger began to smolder inside of me.

"What's wrong? Didn't he tell you?" Becca asked, showing concern.

"No, he didn't even make a move to come inside," I said quietly. "I assumed he was going home, since he made a big deal about working this morning."

Becca's mouth formed an O. "I'm sure he'll tell you about it when we go to the gym."

I shook my head and stood from the stool, whipping the fridge open in search for something greasy to make to offset the headache from the tequila. "No, I'm skipping today."

Becca's shoulders sagged. "Shit. I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

I waved her off. "It's fine. If he doesn't want to sleep with me it's no loss," I muttered, trying to play off that I wasn't bothered, when in fact, I was annoyed.

"I'm sure that's not it. Brandon said that Derek doesn't date. He said he normally just sits in the corner and pouts whenever they go out."

"Whatever," I sighed, grabbing a takeout container with a burger from a few nights ago. Hopefully it was still as juicy and greasy as I remembered it. "I'll see him when I see him."

Becca leaned against the counter, picking up her plate of eggs. "I think they have a weird relationship."

"Who?"

"Brandon and Derek. Derek was very aware of what Brandon was doing, it was odd, like he was watching his every move. Then when the bar closed, Derek insisted on driving us home. So, we'll have to get my car sometime today, sorry."

I frowned, but not because we'd have to go get Becca's car. Stuff like that happened all of the time. We weren't dumb enough to drink and drive. I was more irritated with Derek's controlling personality.

It was a red flag.

I'd been with a controlling man, and all it did was hurt me, and everyone else I loved.

"Call me next time. I'll bring you home."

Becca held her hand in the air. "Oh, no, I wasn't afraid or anything, I mean, he wasn't mad, he just offered and Brandon got annoyed because he wanted to take me home."

"Had he had too much to drink?" I asked, trying to push back my annoyance.

"He had one beer at the bar, and even drank water toward the end of the night. He would have been fine, but Derek insisted."

"Cops are all over City Walk at closing time, waiting to catch drunk drivers. It's not worth it to risk it," I snapped.

Her eyes widened. "Yeah, I know, it was good Derek brought us home," she retracted. "I'm just saying, Brandon put up a fight, and apologized when he walked me to the front door. It was just weird how Derek sat in the car, like a dad waiting for his kid."

Yep. Controlling. My skin began to itch. "I might have to stay away from him for a while."

Becca's eyes softened. "I can tell you like him, Jay. Why not open up to him?"

I scowled. "Have you dated a controlling guy? They suck the life out of you."

Becca flinched. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you had dated someone that was like that. I thought you never had a long term boyfriend."

"Well, I have, and it's why I haven't had one since being with him," I burst, letting my emotions get the best of me. I stormed to the couch plopping down with my burger, not bothering to heat it up.

Becca timidly followed me, cautiously sitting on the furthest cushion away from me. "Do you want to tell me about him?"

"No," I said with a mouthful of burger. "It's not worth talking about. He was an asshole and a master manipulator." I swallowed my food. "I can't have that in my life again, Becs."

Becca nodded, her eyes getting that moist-over, worried look. "Okay. I understand."

I scanned her reaction, then nodded, satisfied she was done with the conversation, or so I thought.

Becca bit her bottom lip. "I don't think you should give up on Derek. Not yet. I think if he's controlling, it's because of Brandon, and not that he's trying to control you."

I chewed my food slowly. He was paranoid about his brother and his friends the first night I'd met him, saying he needed to babysit. Maybe Becca was right, but why would he be willing to leave and take me home in the middle of a bar night if that were the case?

"I don't know, Becs."

"What does your gut tell you?"

I thought, and although I was terrified of history repeating itself, I didn't get the same vibe from Derek as Rod, but then again, I was head over heels in love with my stalker, and he didn't start hurting me until he had me under his spell. Who's to say Derek wouldn't be the same way?

My head pounded. "It's telling me to go back to bed."

Chapter Thirteen

I hadn't been into work in a week, and within that time frame I had avoided everyone. Even when my mother called, I let her go to voicemail. I was so out of sorts and down, I didn't have the desire to try and put on my normal, I don't care, front. So instead, I said I was sick and hid in my room, my mind trapped amongst the letters that I knew were hidden in the top drawer of my nightstand.

Rod still hadn't made any contact with me since moving, but that didn't mean he hadn't followed me. A chill crept up my spine, curious if he were watching me, waiting for the moment to make his appearance.

I needed a distraction.

"Jamie, how are you, sweetheart?"

My mother answered her phone, the sound of her voice bringing out an instant smile. The echoes of chaos surrounded her voice, slowly fading until she had moved from my siblings.

"I'm good," I lied. "Sorry I haven't called, I've been busy."

"I can imagine. How is job hunting going?" she asked.

I traced the lines on my comforter. "I'm still working at the gym. Nothing has come up that looks interesting to me in marketing."

I heard a creek, knowing my mother was sitting on the back porch swing. It sent a warmth through me, and an ache to run to her filled my heart. We'd had many conversations on that swing. "The right job will come along. Do you need any help?"

I frowned, knowing she was talking about money. She'd give me the shirt off of her back if I needed it, but they weren't anywhere near financially stable. "No, I'm okay. I'm getting a lot of hours, and I still have time before my college loans start coming after me."

"Just let your father and I know, we can help you if you're ever in a jam," she offered, sincerity in her sweet voice. It gutted me. Why wasn't I as nice of a person as she? Or my father?

"Something else is bugging you," she said softly. "I can tell in your voice."

"It's nothing... there's just a guy at work."

"Yes?" She prodded. I knew she was waiting to hear that I'd fallen in love and was ready to start a family, but unfortunately, I still didn't have faith that was in the cards for me.

"I don't know it will be worth it," I said truthfully.

"When you say, it, do you mean the thought of a relationship, or do you mean the person?"

I paused. "Both, I guess."

"Well, I can't speak for the guy, but, I can speak for the relationship, and that my dear, is worth every risk you could possibly take."

Tears pricked the backs of my eyes. Did she realize my risks were so high? "Thanks, mom."

"Have fun, give the guy a chance! You're young, finding and falling in love is one of the greatest joys in life."

I knew that, but I also knew when that love broke, it hurt terribly. "He is fun. I have to get going. I promise I'll call again soon and talk more."

"Okay, sweetheart. Tell Becca, I said hi."

"Will do. Bye."

A knock came to my door as I hung up the phone. "Are you ready to head out? Our shift starts in twenty minutes," Becca shouted.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, I'm coming." Reluctantly, I climbed out of my bed and headed for the door. I didn't want to see Derek. I had been ignoring his text messages since we went to Margaritaville. Knowing he had dropped me off then went back out didn't settle with me. Even if he did it was just to keep an eye on his brother, why wouldn't he tell me that in the first place? And if his brother needed so much looking after, should Becca be spending time with him? There were so many questions, and with how complicated my past was, starting a future with so many unanswered questions would be an uphill battle I wasn't willing to begin.

Tossing my hair up in a ponytail, I opened my bedroom door to find Becca putting her tennis shoes on by the doorway. She offered me a half smile when I shoved my feet into my own shoes.

"Feeling any better?"

I shrugged. "I will."

She nodded, knowing that meant I just needed more space. Becca knew me so well, considering I hadn't really opened up to her about my life outside of what she saw every day. I was a terrible fraud who didn't deserve to have Becca for a best friend.

Since our shift was at the same time, we drove together. I had no idea if Derek would be there or not, and I didn't have the energy to confront him.

"Good morning, ladies. Jamie, hope you're feeling better," Maxine greeted.

"Becca, will you start cleaning machines? Jamie, I've got a pile of new members that need to be entered into the computer. I really don't care who does what. Can you manage that?"

"Sure," Becca said, going behind the counter to get the cleaning supplies. I gave Maxine a thumbs up, and she sped off. That woman was always on a mission.

"Cleaning the machines is the worst," Becca huffed.

"I've got it, you do the data entry this time," I offered, needing to move around.

"You sure?"

I nodded, taking the spray bottle and towel from her. "It's fine."

I made my way around the machines, avoiding making eye contact with the members working out. They normally didn't strike up conversations with me, and usually I wouldn't mind, but not today.

"You're alive," Derek said from behind me, causing me to jump.

I moved to another machine, spraying it down. "Yep."

He followed me. "Becca said you weren't feeling well. Was it the margaritas?" He teased, leaning against the squat machine I was wiping down.

"Probably."

"You missed a spot."

I kept wiping, ignoring his comment.

"I was just joking."

"I know," I said flatly, moving to another area.

Although he didn't follow me, I could feel his eyes one me, and I didn't like it at all.

He kept watching me throughout the rest of my shift. It didn't matter where I was, if I were cleaning, by the front desk, or doing bathroom and locker room checks, he still had his eyes on me. Three personal training sessions went by, and I swore Derek was giving me more attention than his clients. It was chilling, and I'd had enough of it.

He walked his last client out the door; then I stormed over to him.

"Why are you watching me?" I accused, my arms crossed.

He furrowed his brows in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

I scowled. "Every time I look up, you're there, watching me."

His mouth opened, but no sound came out.

"It's creepy as shit, so stop," I hissed.

He held his hands in the air as if he were under a stick up, "Wait a minute, what exactly did I do?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Don't watch me, as if you own me."

"I wasn't aware I was doing that," he said cooly, his blue eyes etched with concern. "I can't help that I'm drawn to you."

I clenched my jaw, and darted my eyes from his. They were too blue, too much like Rod's. _Why did he have to be so attractive?_ "That doesn't mean you crowd me."

His eyebrows shot up. "Crowd you? We work together."

"Maybe you should be focusing on your clients and not staring at me!" I whispered harshly, turning on my heels and marching to the front desk.

"What's wrong?" Becca asked.

"Him!"

She bit her bottom lip. "Okay?"

"He's making me uncomfortable!" I grumbled.

"What did he do?"

"He won't stop watching me," I said under my breath. "And he's annoying."

"Can I just say, you're giving me the same vibe right now?" Derek said over my shoulder, causing me to jump.

"Don't do that!" I shouted, wanting to smack him for sneaking up behind me. "See what I mean?!" I pointed to Becca.

Her eyes bounced between Derek and me, a slow smile forming on her lips. "You guys are weird."

I grunted in disbelief, then stormed out the front door, needing to get away from both of them.

Chapter Fourteen

I paced outside of Max Gym, my fingers fidgeting with the hem of my polo shirt. I wanted to rip it off, tear it into a million pieces and burn it. If I had never agreed to getting this stupid job, I never would have met Derek, and our one night together would have been just that, one night of passion.

But no, my gut did flips and my thighs tingled whenever I was around him now, and I was searching for reasons to be mad at him and push him away.

The swing of the front door to the gym squeaked, and I knew it was him. "I think we should talk."

"I have nothing to say," I snapped, which was far from the truth.

"I do. I know why you're upset," he said softly. "I should have told you I was going back out with Brandon and Becca."

I spun around to face him. He was leaning against one of the giant ceramic flower pots on either side of the entrance, his hands in his gym shorts pockets.

"I don't care what you do with your time." Lies again.... "We aren't dating or anything, you can do whatever you want."

He took a step closer to me, keeping his hands in his pockets. His approach wasn't threatening by any means, but I still took a step back. He watched my movements, halting in his place. "I care that I lied to you, and I care that you're upset with me, because although we aren't technically dating, I'd still like to get to know you better."

My mouth stayed in a thin line, unsure of what to say.

"I went back out to the bars because I don't trust Brandon," he said quietly.

I scowled, and he continued talking.

"Brandon doesn't always make the best choices when he's been drinking, and unfortunately that includes what he does to women."

I stood taller, my interest piqued, worry maring my forehead. "What do you mean?"

"He's gotten... rough. He has a record. That's why he's been struggling with what he wants to do with his life. It's hard to get a different job with an assault charge."

My heart started to race. "He hurt someone?"

Derek tilted his head from side to side. "He says it wasn't like that, and he was wrongly accused, but I've seen him when he gets mad and doesn't get his way. He's a lot like my dad, unfortunately."

"What does that mean?"

He sighed. "It means, my dad knocked my mom around some. Why do you think she's so obsessed with fitness? She wanted to get big and bad, so if she needed to protect herself, she could."

My stomach sank. "That's awful."

He shrugged. "It is."

My hands went through my hair, tugging on my ponytail. "I have to tell Becca."

Derek stepped to me, holding his hands out. "Don't scare her, his infatuation has been good for him."

I frowned. "She needs to know he has assault charges, and that she needs to be careful for her own safety."

Derek's lips pressed together, then after a moment of silence, he nodded. "She should, you're right, but let Brandon tell her. He was planning on filling her in the next time they hang out."

I crossed my arms again. "Well, they aren't hanging out alone until I trust him, which will probably be never."

Derek's lip twitched upward. "I agree. Why do you think I haven't taken him out of my sight?"

I shook my head. "We shouldn't have left them alone when you brought me home last week."

"I didn't want to send you home in an Uber," he paused for a moment, shuffling on his feet. "And I just wasn't done spending time with you that night."

A slow warmth spread through me. "You should have told me."

"I know," he agreed quickly. "I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath. "What do we do about Brandon?"

He gazed into my eyes. "Give him time," he said simply, followed by a long pause. "Sometimes that's what people need."

Was he trying to tell me something? A subliminal massage?

Was time what I needed? It had been over eight years since a man had laid a dangerous hand on me, creating a pause button on having a relationship. If I gave Derek time, would I be able to have a normal relationship with him?

Derek broke the silence. "Go out with me."

My mouth remained closed, my mind reeling.

"Friday night. Brandon and I will pick you and Becca up at nine. We'll get dinner and drinks," he suggested. "It'll be fun, and will help Brandon be more comfortable talking to Becca about his past."

"Why do you want to hang out with me so bad?" I finally asked, not understanding his desperation.

I've never met a girl like you, and I like how you make me feel when we're together."

I covered my face with both of my hands. I felt the exact same way, but I had so many stipulations and possible scenarios running through my head, that I couldn't speak.

"Okay. Friday night, we'll hang out," I agreed, uncertainty still nagging at my stomach.

An ear splitting grin formed on his face, and I couldn't help but smile in return. He clasped his hands together. "Alright. Friday it is."

Chapter Fifteen

Rod

Here I sat in my car, waiting underneath a canopied tree to keep in the shade. Sweat dripped down my neck and into the back of my unpressed dress shirt. It was terribly hot, the 94 degree temperature in the shade was something I should be used to for living in Florida my whole life, but the August temps weren't the cause of my perspiration.

I'd been calculating my steps for a while now, using my status, or what I had left of it, to track the woman I adored. I'd watched her from a distance during her years in college, predicting she'd mature and find herself, making sure she wasn't completely ruining her life in the process.

The file of papers I'd built on her sat in my front seat, opened to my latest discovery. I knew she'd landed near Orlando, her best friend helping me with that. It's amazing how easy it is to get small talk out of a friendly person.

Becca had been cramming in the library during their last semester, and some fellow classmate asked her about what she was doing after graduating.

My roommate and I are moving to Edgewood... yeah, it's near Orlando.

It wasn't hard then. I knew the types of income they were working with. Jamie barely got by on financial aid and minimum wage jobs, but her bestie, Becca, she had money, and by watching her habits alongside Jamie, I figured she'd pick a more luxurious place. Although they didn't choose as high class of a complex as I'd thought, narrowing down to where they were was significantly easy.

Then, all I had to do was hack into the data systems and find tenants and renters.

Jamie would never put her name on a lease, but Becca did, and wherever Becca went, so did Jamie.

Becca didn't bother me, she seemed to help tame my lover from her juvenile behavior.

But lately, Becca was bringing the worst out of my beautiful girl. The last year of college, Jamie didn't wander much, she stayed around their apartment at college, moved from classes to the library, common areas or the mess halls. She really seemed to be growing out of the impractical, party girl, being careless about who she hung out with or brought home.

At least four nights out of the week they'd leave their apartment, staying out until all hours of the night, sometimes bringing home guys, other times not. I'd kept a close eye on them, her only saving grace being the men were never the same. She wasn't getting attached to any other men.

My teeth clenched, watching the older crowd come and go out of her place of work.

I didn't like her working at a gym. They typically attracted the shallow, sex driven crowd of shallow men who only cared about looks, but this gym seemed to host home to a plethora of senior citizens and middle aged Asians, neither group caught Jamie's eyes in the way that competed with me.

The only threats were with the two monkey-fucks that worked with her. I watched them with disgust, coming and going, their over muscled bodies strutting with their noses in the air. No doubt they hit on my property every day, making crude remarks about how they'd want to fuck her.

My eyelids fell closed, my head hitting the back of the seat, remembering the last time I'd fucked her. Her perfectly shaped ass smacking against my thighs, her pussy so tight, sucking my dick in like a vacuum.

My cock hardened instantly at the memory, pressing against the seam of my dress pants. I adjusted in my seat, taking a deep breath to help calm my racing thoughts.

"You'll have her again," I murmured to myself, running my thumb along the shaft of my cock. It twitched from the simple touch, begging to pleased.

A hot rush of air flew out my nostrils, my eyes slowly opening again, peering out either window. Voyeuring wasn't my thing, even if it were with Jamie. The idea of someone else seeing her in pleasure infuriated me.

She was mine. No one else's.

My thumb pressed down more firmly, my hand framing around the now stiff length.

Then, the door to the gym swung open.

I held my breath, slouching in my seat.

There she was, her hair piled high on her head, storming down the sidewalk in the opposite direction of my car. My hand flung to the ignition, but refrained from turning on the engine.

A man followed her, one of the young workers. I ground my teeth, furious he was now so close to her that he was blocking my view.

"What the fuck do you want?" I bit, unable to keep my lip from curling with disdain. Taking a pair of binoculars from the bag between the seats, I rested the lenses on the dashboard, keeping my head low while I focused.

He moved slightly to the side, Jamie's beautiful face now in view. She was scowling at him, her arms crossed, and the tension in my shoulders released some. She was mad, and although I wanted her happy, and seeing she was pissed at this dude, meant he wasn't a threat.

Her lips began to move, but her expression didn't change.

Damn it, I wish I could tell what they were saying.

The big, dumb, idiot moved again, leaving only his back in view.

I cursed under my breath, debating if I should roll the car forward to get a better view.

Finally, he moved out of the way, but this time when he turned, Jamie was on his side, her posture less tense than before. She even had a trace of a smile on her plush lips. Did he turn her mood around? Say something that let her show her vulnerability?

That hadn't come out of her since she laid in my arms, tucked back in the woods at my grandparents cabin. After all this time I'd been watching her, she never gave an ounce of true expression, not like she had when she would stand before me.

They walked back to the gym entrance, the moron opening the door for her, his eyes wandering down to her backside.

I bit the insides of my cheeks, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles were turning white.

Why did they think they could stare so blatantly at my property?

The urge to barge into that gym and carry her to my car was as strong as ever, but I couldn't strike. Not now.

I'd kept myself a promise, and Jamie would be mine again when the time was right.

Chapter Sixteen

"Where do you think Derek and Brandon are planning on taking us tomorrow?"

I yawned, browsing the internet on the front desk computer. "I'm not sure."

"Were you up late on the phone again last night..?" She teased, nudging my shoulder.

"Not that late," I smiled.

So, I'd been texting with Derek more since Monday, then the texts turned into phone calls. He was easy to talk to, and last night I didn't even realize it was well past midnight when I'd finally hung up the phone.

"Let's go shopping when we get off work tonight," Becca squealed, and she wasn't one to get overly excited about trying on clothes. "I think I can fit into a smaller size."

I grinned at her. "Okay, we can check out a few stores." She had been busting her butt in the gym, and her 14lbs loss had turned into 20lbs with two more weeks of hard work. She deserved a new outfit, but she also had daddy's credit card. A luxury I didn't have.

Brandon cruised by the front desk, his smile bright. "Becca, come do spin with me?"

"Okay. Jamie, do you mind?" I shook my head, and Becca's face lit up. She zoomed around me and followed Brandon into the cycling room.

My lips pressed together as I watched them. It wasn't easy keeping Brandon's secret from my best friend. I didn't like leaving Becca in the dark, especially if he really was a dangerous person. He didn't give that vibe, but predators are good at hiding their intentions.

"Glad to see we're paying two instructors for our 10 person spin class," Derek said, cruising around the curved desk. He had just done his own workout, sweat dripping from his brow, his short hair damp. He looked good, and for a big sweaty guy, he didn't stink.

"Think of it as an investment," I sighed, unable to help breathing in his scent.

He nodded his head toward the computer screen. "That doesn't look gym related."

I followed his line of sight, zeroing in on the cute top I'd been eyeing from my favorite clothing store. "Do you like it?"

He shrugged. "I don't think it's my color."

I laughed. "I doubt they'd have it in your size, either. Becca wants a new outfit for Friday, so I thought I'd do a pre-browse."

He lifted a brow. "Are you getting a new outfit?"

"Possibly."

He leaned over my shoulder, his lips near my ear. "That denim skirt you wore last time was sexy."

I couldn't stop myself from grinning. "It wasn't too short?"

Warm breath caressed my ear, shooting a tingle up my spine. "See what happens if you wear a shorter one."

I took a sharp inhale, turning on my heel to face him, but was disappointed to find he was already five steps away from me, heading back to the gym floor. "I've got to do some core work," he winked, lifting his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face, flexing his abs for me to see.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, knowing he showed me his stomach on purpose..

"Now who's staring at who?" he teased, wiggling his eyebrows while he walked backward. I ignored him, then focused my attention back on the computer screen, searching for the shortest skirt I could find.

"Hey, do you mind if I teach spin again?" Becca interrupted about fifteen minutes into my searching.

"Nope, not at all," I answered. "Are you going to lead tonight?"

She nodded, pride written all over her face. I was beyond proud of the confidence she was building. Becca would have never stepped foot in a spin class before this summer, let alone teach one.

"Brandon said he'll hang out toward the front in case I get stuck, but I've got it memorized," she said confidently.

"I've got faith in you."

Brandon came from the back room. "You ready?"

"Sure am!"

"Good. Jamie, you know where to find us if you need something."

I gave them both thumbs up and shooed them to the spin studio.

"Hey, just wanted to let you know that tanning bed three could use a little cleaning," an older lady passed by, setting her tanning goggles on the counter for me to sterilize. She was a regular in the beds, and a regular with requests.

"I'll get right to it," I smiled. "Thanks for the heads up."

She walked out the door after giving me a satisfied nod. I cringed inwardly. I hated cleaning the tanning beds. Just the thought of naked, sweaty bodies lying against the glass grossed me out.

Since Becca and Brandon were busy, that meant I'd have to leave the counter and check it out. Thankfully, the woman who so kindly gave the heads up, was very particular, and most likely the trash was too full for her liking. Putting the, I'll be right back, sign up at the desk, I grabbed the cleaning bottle and a rag and headed for the tanning rooms.

We only had three beds, although I swore we only needed one. This was Florida after all, and people got natural sunlight. Finding room three, sure enough, a gum wrapper was on the ground, and a few paper towels were in the trash can.

I blew out air, unsure rather I should be thankful she overreacted because the cleaning would be easy, or annoyed because the minimal mess took me away from the front desk and could have waited until closing time.

I added the gum wrapper to the trash, and began wiping the bed down even though it appeared to be clean. Leaning over the edge, the bed creaked when I rested a knee on it, trying to reach the back panel.

"This is a pleasant surprise," a deep timbre said, startling me.

I jumped upward, my head hitting the top of the tanning bed. "Derek! What did I tell you about sneaking up on me?"

He chuckled, taking a step inside the room. "Sorry, I couldn't help but speak up. You looked..." his eyes roamed my body. "Compromised."

I arched an eyebrow. "Interesting choice of words," I muttered, continuing to clean.

He was quiet for a moment, so much that I thought he had left, until I heard the click of the door closing. "I mean, you looked enticing," he murmured.

I stood up from arching over the bed, my breath halting, surprised by his comment.

"Must be this polo shirt," I breathed.

He was slowly pacing toward me, and I was well aware of his proximity. My chest rose and fell, and just as I was about to turn around, his hand touched my bicep.

Hot breath kissed my ear. "Seeing you bent over like that, it does things to my imagination."

I spun to face him, dragging my top teeth along my bottom lip.

His jaw was taut, eyes hooded while he stared at my mouth. His shirt was damp from his workout, and should have pushed me away, but it paired with his heady scent only drew me to him.

"Your mom said no sex in the tanning bed," I whispered, my arms finding his neck.

He smirked and cocked his head to the side. "Who said that was my intention when closing the door?"

I met his grin, pressing my hips against his, feeling a hard lump form that wasn't between us before. "What were your intentions?"

Taking the hair of my ponytail, he twirled it around his wrist, gently tipping my head back.

I held my breath, uncertain of what he was going to do next.

_You're still in control_ , I convinced myself, not wanting to spoil the moment because of my past trauma.

His lips brushed against mine. "I couldn't wait until tonight to kiss you."

He crushed my mouth with his, parting my lips with his tongue in a whirlwind. The kiss was needy and frantic, and soon my skin felt like it was on fire, the same need rushing through me.

I grasped his wet shirt, wanting to rip it from his body, but he clamped his hand around my wrist, trapping it between our bodies.

His tongue swirled with mine, my core throbbing, imagining the same motion being done around my sensitive nub and hot folds.

I reached to cup my free hand between his legs, but he stopped me again, now holding both my hands hostage against his chest.

Prying his mouth from mine, he whispered, "not yet."

"What?" my head spun. Why would he want me to stop?

He chuckled under his breath, a broad smile spreading across his face. "Later. In your bed. I'll sprawl you out and make love to you properly."

My lips drew apart, a soft gasp escaping them.

Making love wasn't me, fucking in a tanning bed was more my style, but maybe Derek really could be different.

He kissed my nose and his grip on my wrists loosened. I didn't even take a second thought to the control he exerted by holding me against him. Normally that was an automatic no no.

"Tomorrow," he murmured again.

Chapter Seventeen

"I like spin and all, but is it making my ass bigger?" Becca asked while she swayed back and forth in front of the boutique mirror. She had a form fitting pink dress on that hugged her hips just right.

"No, it's just more toned, and looks amazing in that dress. You should buy it," I encouraged.

Becca looked skeptically in the mirror, but then smiled. "I think I will. Why haven't you tried anything on?"

I shrugged. I wanted to buy a new outfit, but my cash funds weren't there, and since Derek had commented on my jean skirt, I figured I'd just wear that for tomorrow.

"Come on, let me buy you something for your birthday," Becca said, grabbing my arm and pulling me off of the leather bench.

"My birthday is months away."

"So, consider it an early gift. Come on, I saw something that would be perfect."

"You know I hate when you buy me things," I said under my breath, watching her flip through the racks.

"And you know I hate it when you don't accept my gifts. Here, go put this on," she ordered, shoving a few hangers filled with clothes at my chest.

"Fine," I obliged, heading into the fitting room and undressing.

The first dress was green and velvety, and not my type. It was snug, but velvet, really? Was that still a popular fabric?

The second was the color maroon, and I didn't even bother trying it on.

The next one was red, strapless and tight around the hips, but flowed at mid thigh. It was cute, but seemed a little too much for a double date.

_Date._ Did I really agree to this?

"Here, I found some jean skirts, since you said you wanted to wear the one you have," Becca said from the other side of the dressing room, tossing more outfits underneath the door.

I wiggled into one, the denim faded and snug, and when I turned around to check out how they looked from behind, a wicked grin formed on my lips.

It was short, my legs appearing long and sleek. Just then, Becca whipped a shirt over the dressing room door. It was black with intricate beading across the bust with a low dip. I pulled it over my head and examined how it went with my skirt. I'd have to wear a different bra, if none at all. Opening the door, I walked out for Becca to see.

"Wow," she breathed, her smile wide. "A leather skirt would be hot with that."

"It would, but I'm going to go with the jean," I smirked, recalling what Derek had said.

"Shoes?"

"Can I borrow your black stilettos?"

Becca met my smirk. "I know what that means."

"What?"

She crossed her arms. "It means Derek is going to get the full Jamie special."

I narrowed my eyes. "What exactly does that mean?"

Becca laughed. "It means you want to screw him. I know what kind of confidence those shoes give you."

"He might be worth it," I grinned. "What about you and Brandon?"

Becca flushed. "We'll see what happens."

"You should wear that pink dress, but be careful, okay?" I added.

She stood next to me, meeting my eyes through the tall mirror. "Since when are you telling me to be careful?"

I held her wrist that rested over my shoulder. "Let's just promise to bring them back to our house, so we're under the same roof, you know, in case I freak out and need you," I lied.

Becca's blush deepened. "Okay, I won't go back to Brandon's place, although he already implied we should end our night there."

My stomach tightened uncomfortably. I wanted to tell her about Brandon's past, but like Derek said, it wasn't my place. It didn't mean I was willing to let Becca be alone with him where I couldn't save her if I needed to.

"I like Derek, and I'm worried I'll freak out and need you to bring me back down." It wasn't entirely a lie. Becca knew I wasn't one for relationships, and since I was beginning to treat him like a boyfriend, she would understand my worry of having a freak out.

"I've got you," she smiled, hugging me from the side and continuing to make eye contact through the mirror. "These outfits are super sexy."

"That they are. If they deny us, it won't be because we don't look good."

Becca giggled. "I need a new lip color to go with this dress."

"On to the next store!" I cheered, knowing Becca was going to drag me along until we had a complete new ensemble.

Chapter Eighteen

My hands were shaky as I brushed bronzer across my cheeks. I hadn't been this nervous since I was sixteen for a date. A chill ran up my spine, but I did my best to ignore it.

Derek wasn't Rod. He wouldn't hurt me. I tried to convince myself.

Rod's letters had been MIA for two months, a record since he'd first started leaving them for me. Had I finally escaped him?

"Jamie, the guys are here!" Becca shouted. I heard the front door creak open and footsteps soon followed.

Giving my now curled hair one last flip, I took a deep breath, my way of telling myself it was okay to open up tonight. It was time to try and move on with my life.

Flipping the light in the bathroom off, I snuck into my room and stepped into Becca's stilettos, cursing the straps. I always had trouble getting them to hook. When I stood, I was almost five inches taller.

"Are you going to hide in here all night?" Derek asked from the hall, stopping in the doorway. His eyes widened when he saw me. "Hey."

I walked toward him slowly, familiarizing myself with the very tall shoes. "Sorry, I was getting my heels strapped."

His eyes scooped down to my feet, then took their time finding my face again. "Take your time," he said, clearing his throat.

"I'm ready now," I said quietly, grabbing my handbag and tossing my phone inside of it. I stopped in front of him, waiting for him to move from the doorway, but he didn't budge.

His hands grasped either side of the doorframe. "You look stunning," he breathed.

"Thank you," I smiled, more butterflies fluttering in my stomach. "Wish I could say the same about that pink polo," I teased.

Derek smirked. "It's salmon."

I held my hand to my chest. "Wow, the special occasion shirt?"

He nodded once, his blue eyes burning.

"You guys ready? We have a reservation," Brandon shouted from the main room.

Derek's nostrils flared as his gaze once again roamed up and down my body, pausing at my cleavage. "Yeah, we're coming." His eyes met mine, and he hummed, "Although I'd rather stay here with you."

The fire was there, and I couldn't help but grin at him. Pressing my hands to his bulging chest, I felt his heart beating in his chest, pounding underneath my palm as I flexed it. We were near the same height with Becca's heels, and I only had to tilt my head slightly for my lips to reach his ear.

"The night is young, and I need to show off my new skirt," I flirted.

He grunted, his hands grabbing hold of my wrists. "You are something else."

His smile was comforting, but the tightness of his grip made me uneasy. I pulled my hands from him and took a step back, forcing a smile on my face. I didn't want to give him the impression that touching was off limits, but I wasn't sure yet how to maneuver around what might trigger my trauma.

"Come on, we don't have all day!" Brandon shouted again, a tone of irritation laced with his words.

Derek's eyes slid to the side, his smile going lopsided. "We're coming," he answered. "Someone is impatient to get on with dinner."

He held out his hand for me to take, not noticing my discomfort from before.

I took it, ignoring the slight tremor running throughout my body. His grip was looser this time, easing me back into a calmer state.

"Where are we spending our evening?" Becca asked Brandon, her arms linked with his. Her pink dress was on point with her curled hair and matching pink heels. Brandon wore an outfit similar to Derek's, same color khaki shorts, but his polo was a pale blue, the collar popped like usual, sunglasses covering his eyes.

"A place a few blocks down. I figured we could walk," Brandon said, lifting his sunglasses off of his eyes to look at Becca. "It's called Twisted, a bit of a honky bar, but I hear it's cool. I didn't know if we'd want to go out after dinner or if we'd want to come back this way."

Becca's tanned cheeks flushed, an ear splitting grin making an appearance. "I know where that is. They have a mechanical bull, right?"

A cocky grin formed on Brandon's lips while he nodded down at Becca, and it struck me the wrong way.

When we left the apartment, I lingered by the door, letting the others out first. "Can I use your key?" I asked Becca.

She nodded, letting go of Brandon's arm and climbing back up the stairs, pulling her pair out of her handbag. "Promise we stay together tonight?" I murmured so the boys wouldn't hear us.

"Of course. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just want everything to go smoothly." Truthfully, I was nervous. I hadn't been on a date with the intentions of it becoming a repeated occasion, but Brandon's arrogance mixed with irritation was rubbing me the wrong way. My guard was on high alert, not only for Derek but for Brandon.

"You say the word if you need to leave," she said quietly.

I nodded, and she linked her arm with mine after we locked the door, then we cautiously went down the steps together, walking in front of Derek and Brandon.

Chapter Nineteen

Twisted was only a couple of blocks from our apartment and had only been open for a few weeks. The newness and lack of cover charge brought a busy crowd, but we breezed past the lineup that was out the door, Brandon greeted the bouncer with a half hand shake, half hug.

"Jarred, here, has saved us a spot in the VIP section," he said proudly, reaching for Becca's hand.

"I let him plan this whole night, so if it's lame, I'm sorry," Derek mumbled, lacing his fingers with mine.

"At least he wants to do something special for Becca," I murmured back, hoping he really did have good intentions with my best friend.

Derek traced his thumb across my knuckles. "I want to do something special for you."

"Next time you can plan the date."

His brows lifted. "Next time?"

I shrugged, and he laughed.

We were met by a hostess who led us to the back of the bar. After walking up a half flight of stairs, we entered the VIP section where large booths and comfortable couches overlooked the dance floor, a big mechanical bull smack dab in the middle.

"Should have worn my cowboy boots," Derek joked.

"Would have gone great with that salmon polo," I teased, letting go of his hand to tug on the hem of his shirt.

He held both of his hands to his sides. "You know, I knew this shirt would be a good conversation starter."

"Jamie loves a good polo," Becca chided, sitting on one of the sofas.

Brandon sat beside her, resting his arm along the back of the cushion. "What's wrong with polos?" He asked, fussing with his popped collar. "They're cool."

I did my best to hide my disagreement, but by how Becca laughed, I must not have done a good job.

Taking a seat on an adjacent couch, I tried to defend myself. "They just remind me of a _40 Year Old Virgin_ , that's all."

Derek sat down next to me. "Just because the guy in that movie was always wearing a polo, doesn't mean the rest of us can't."

"What's so wrong with celibacy anyway?" Brandon added.

"You know what that word means?" Derek teased.

"Oh, like you're one to talk," Brandon snapped back. "You're just as much of a man whore as I am."

Derek froze, and Becca's eyes widened slightly, but she kept a smile on her face. No one else might have noticed she was uncomfortable with Brandon's comment, but I could tell. Part of her would always want a relationship with monogamy and commitment. She was normal and could get close to others, while I was still working on that. It didn't bother me one bit if Derek were a man whore, because we weren't to that point, and I had no idea if we would ever make it to that level of commitment.

Brandon bit his bottom lip, realizing what he said had a ripple effect. "Anyone need a drink menu?" He cleared his throat, sitting up and grabbing a laminated piece of paper from an ottoman.

"We know what we want, right Becs?" I said boldly, winking at Becca. After a beat, she nodded. I knew she was opening up to Brandon, but she needed a reminder of what we agreed this summer was all about.

The waitress came to take our drink order, distracting us from Brandon's comment. I needed to get Becca back on track with me, before her feelings for Brandon started to rub off on me. Slow was the pace Derek and I needed to take, if I really decided to try with him.

"What's the deal with the bull?" I asked the server when she came back with our drinks.

"That's old Bessy. We have competitions every Friday and Saturday night to see who can ride the longest."

"Do you have to sign up for that?"

The waitress smiled brightly. "Want me to put your names down?"

"Yes!"

"No," Becca said immediately after me. "That sounds like a terrible idea."

"It's a lot of fun," the waitress encouraged. "It doesn't start for a few hours, so you'll have time to prepare yourself."

"Yeah, Becs, we'll take some shots and be ready for anything! Write our names down," I told the server.

She grinned and pulled out her pen. "All four of you then?"

"Whoa... whoa... I don't know about all four of us," Derek said.

"Don't be a pussy," Brandon goaded. "He's doing it. His name is D-Master."

I snorted at Brandon's name for Derek, while Derek shook his head. He pointed at Brandon. "You're paying for all of my drinks tonight."

"I'll pay for them if you beat my time," Brandon smirked.

Derek raised a brow. "Challenge accepted."

Brandon clinked his beer bottle with Brandon, then murmured in Becca's ear, and by how Becca's face flushed, I knew it was something inappropriate.

"You sure he was going to tell her about his past tonight?" I murmured to Derek. "Or is he going to blow it off and just get wasted."

Derek frowned, then shrugged. "The night will tell us, I suppose." He reached for my hand, linking our fingers together. "I'm happy we're here."

I squeezed his hand. "Me too."

His eyes wandered from my gaze and down to my shirt. "What do I get if I beat your time on the bull?"

I lifted his chin so his eyes were back on mine, a wicked grin plastered across his face. He knew I'd caught him gawking and didn't care one bit. "What are you offering?"

His jaw tensed. "If I win, I get to kiss you wherever I want."

I lifted a brow. "And if I win?"

His grin curved. "You get to tell me where I can kiss you."

I took a sharp inhale, trying my best to control my breathing. "What if I want you to kiss my big toe?"

His lip quirked upward. "If that's what you're into. Do we have a deal?"

He held out his hand for me to shake, and I took it. "Deal."

Chapter Twenty

Three drinks, two appetizers, and many songs later, the DJ's booming voice rang out of the speakers. "It's time for what you've all been waiting for, Bessy's Bucking! If you haven't signed up and want to go for a ride on Bessy, please grab your server and join in on the fun! We're going to start with the ladies! Come on down to center stage so we can get ready."

Becca was cozy next to Brandon. He'd been whispering in her ear all night, and I was positive none of his sweet nothings included information about his assault charges.

I jumped from my spot by Derek, grabbing a hold of Becca's wrist and pulling her up from Brandon's hold. "Time to get bucked by Bessy," I cheered, the rush of alcohol hitting me when I yanked on Becca.

Derek stood with us. "I can't believe you talked all of us into this."

Becca glared at me. "She didn't, she just signed us all up for it instead."

I shrugged. "It'll be fun, come on!"

I dragged Becca through the swarm of people, both Brandon and Derek hot on our heels.

"We're ready to be bucked!" I shouted to the DJ. He smirked and checked off our names.

"Good, my list is way too short tonight."

I laughed, and being the great friend that I was, I pushed Becca to Bessy.

"Wait a minute, why am I going first?!" She exclaimed. The hostess ignored Becca's insecurity, guiding her to hop onto the bull. "I am so not dressed for this!" She shrieked, trying to adjust the tight fabric while sitting on the bull.

I laughed, knowing my jean skirt wasn't going to be any easier to keep modest.

"Our first contestant to get bucked by Bessy, is the lovely Miss Becca!"

The crowd cheered, and the operator held his thumb up to Becca.

"Oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm doing!" She yelled.

"Start her up!" The DJ roared, and Bessy began to move.

Becca let out a yelp, her hands grasping the reigns. The bull moved slow at first, but took only five seconds to reach max speed, and poor Becca flew over the front of Bessy, flipping forward and landing flat on her ass on the surrounding mats.

My eyes bugged out as I ran to her, making sure she wasn't hurt. To my surprise, she was laughing hysterically. "That was so much fun!" She laughed as Brandon and I pulled her to her feet. She tugged down her dress and brushed her hair out of her face.

"You did awesome, Baby," Brandon smiled, kissing Becca on the cheek. She bit her lip, then turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and going in for the kill. Brandon didn't hesitate, grabbing her thighs and lifting her to straddle his waist, devouring her mouth with his. Roars and chants came from the crowd by their display of affection, following them as Brandon walked back to the VIP section, keeping Becca flush with him.

"Wow, looks like Bessy won't be the only one bucking Miss Becca tonight!" The DJ said into the microphone, followed by more hollering. "Next up, we have the lovely Miss Jamie, make your way onto Bessy if you're ready to get bucked!"

Derek nudged me forward. "Don't fall off before me," he teased.

"I know how to handle a rough ride," I flirted, walking backward toward the bull.

"Hop up and hold on," the worker said. "Good luck with that skirt, hope you wore cute panties."

"I don't go anywhere without cute panties," I said proudly, hopping onto the bull. The tightness of my jean skirt was not easy to work with, and if this bull started to move like it did with Becca, the denim would for sure ride up. Good thing I wasn't wearing a thong.

Derek stood back, his arms crossed and his gaze firmly set on me.

"Got your timer ready?" I shouted to him, gripping the sides of the bull with my hands.

"I trust theirs," he shouted back.

I winked at him, then the DJ cheered into the microphone, "Let's get bucked!" and the bull began to move.

I jerked forward, squeezing my thighs around the cool, padded steel that represented the bull. I had to sway my hips along with the motion of the bull, and even with the hundreds of people watching me, a tingle formed between my legs from the rubbing. I eyed Derek, who was watching me intensely.

At that moment, I made up my mind. I was going to ride him tonight.

The bull whipped again, growling with the increased speed. I shrieked from the sudden jerk, then laughed when it changed directions, catching me off guard. I leaned forward to try and hold my balance, but it didn't matter, because the bull flung in the opposite direction, tossing me to the mat like whiplash, landing me head first, and ass up for all to see my very cute, black lacy panties.

"Wow! That might be a new record time!"The DJ applauded while the crowd roared and whistled.

I was laughing so hard that I had tears coming from my eyes while I stumbled to my feet, pulling on my skirt until my butt was covered again.

Derek flew past the bull worker and put his hands on my arms, examining me. "Are you hurt?"

"Never been better," I laughed. "What was my time?"

"Twenty-two seconds. You broke their record," he chuckled. "Come on, let's go back to the VIP section."

He brushed his hands down my arms, sending goosebumps along my skin until his hands were holding mine, pulling me out of the padded area that surrounded the bull.

"Great Job Miss Jamie! Please come up to the DJ booth before you leave so we can get your information for breaking the new record!" The DJ said into the microphone.

"Sounds like I'll have to break a record to beat you tonight," Derek murmured against my ear once we made our way to the VIP section.

Brandon and Becca were still making out on the couch, Becca's thigh hiked over his hip.

Derek cleared his throat. "Excuse us."

Becca jumped, pulling her leg from Brandon's grasp. "Good job, Jamie!"

I tried to hold in my laugh. "You sure you saw? Seemed like you were busy sucking face just now."

Red raced across Becca's cheeks. "You're right," she admitted. "But, I heard him say you broke the record! I think you get a t-shirt and a plaque on the wall!"

I gave her two thumbs up, with no plan on giving them any information about myself. I didn't need a plaque on the wall with my name on it for everyone to see, that was just asking to be found by my secret letter writer.

Chapter Twenty-One

"I expect you to wear this t-shirt the next time we go out," Derek grinned, holding up the white cotton shirt with a picture of a girl on a bull, one hand in the air while the other held the bull's horn, the words, _Bessy couldn't buck me off_ , underneath and _Twisted_ , written above.

"Yeah, you're going to have to hold me to that," I laughed, snatching the t-shirt out of his hands as we walked back toward the apartment. "I didn't even need this."

"Lucky for you, I managed to grab it even though the hostess was adamant she hand deliver it."

"You managed to always run to the bathroom every time she came over?" Becca added from behind Derek and me, her arm linked with Brandon's.

"Why didn't you want your name on the wall?" Brandon asked. "It's bad ass. If I were you, I'd brag about it."

"Just what I want, to bring my future kids to a bar and show them the plaque on the wall where their mom rode a mechanical bull in record time," I joked, then shook my head. "It'll probably be broken by the end of the weekend anyway. This bar hasn't been open long enough for all the pro mechanical bull riders to find it and take their turn."

Derek took my hand. "We'll have to go back in a few weeks to make sure you're holding your record."

I laughed and squeezed his hand. "I think I've had my share of bull riding. I'd rather hit up the touristy margarita place again."

Derek cocked his head and smiled. "Sounds like another date."

I shrugged and leaned against him, the rush from the night of dancing and drinks catching up to me. "Maybe we can go just the two of us?"

He ran his thumb across my knuckle. "I think that's a great idea."

A yummy chill ran down my spine and to my thighs, and I was thankful we reached the apartment so quickly. Getting inside and into my bedroom with Derek couldn't come soon enough.

"I think they're making plans without us," Brandon scoffed, holding a hand to his chest as if he was offended while I unlocked the door.

"Wow, maybe I should ask you on an individual date," Becca grinned. She was leaning on Brandon, no doubt the tequila catching up with her like it had with me. Her arms snaked around his waist, her fingers slipping into his front pocket.

"Hell yeah," he agreed, then tilted his head so his lips could meet her ear. She was giggling by the time I got the door unlocked.

"Have a good night," Brandon winked at Derek as he guided Becca into our place and headed directly to her room. Becca smiled wide at me before she closed her door.

"Do you think he told her?" I asked Derek.

Slinking behind me, he wrapped his arms around my waist. "I could care less about that right now."

He grazed his teeth along my jaw, and let out a soft sigh. "I should care more."

He nipped at my ear. "The only thing I care about right now, is settling the bet I lost."

"About that bet," I purred, turning around so we were facing each other. "It seemed a bit one sided."

"Did it?" Derek set his hands on my hips, walking me backward into my bedroom.

I found the buttons on his polo, fingering them free while we moved. "Yes, seems to me, I'd have benefited regardless."

Derek leaned forward so our foreheads were touching. "Your benefit is my benefit."

We reached my room, and once we passed through the threshold, he closed the door, his demeanor shifting from playful to passionate.

Here we were, both our bodies primed from flirting and getting to know each other. He was a good guy, knew what he wanted in life, and never once pushed me out of my comfort zone. He was patient, taking his time getting to know me, and showed interest beyond a single night of fucking.

_He's not Rod_. I convinced myself. _He won't hurt you._

I gulped down any uncertainty that began to surface when his hands found my waist.

"Where can I kiss you?" he breathed, his voice deepening with excitement.

I licked my lips, my hands trailing up his strong biceps to his shoulders, then tracing the tight muscles up the sides of his neck to the back of his head, the buzzed hair itchy under my fingertips.

"You can start with my mouth."

A shadow of a smirk appeared across his face, and he leaned forward, planting a chaste kiss on my lips. We both sighed out a chuckle by his innocent approach.

He wanted more approval, the bet being his opening to find out what I was comfortable with.

"Again," I whispered, lifting up on my toes to kiss him again.

The giggles swooped out of me this time, his mouth curving and caressing my bottom lip, sucking gently yet forcefully. I gasped when his hands roamed from my waist to my thighs, slipping under my skirt to palm each ass cheek.

"This skirt drove me crazy all night," he muttered along my lips, his tongue dipping into my mouth. "So fucking short."

I moaned into his mouth, my leg lifting to wrap around his hip, my core begging for friction. "I thought my shirt would turn more heads," I managed to breath between kisses.

He laughed half-heartedly. "Don't be fooled, they were looking. I was holding my breath while you were on that damn bull, worried what would pop out first, your tits," one finger caressed along my cleavage, "or your ass," the other hand squeezed my behind.

"I think I made it without either being exposed."

He ran his fingertips along the edge of my underwear on the inside of my thigh. "Those pretty panties kept that sexy ass from flashing everyone."

I shuddered when his fingers moved along the lace and directly over my heated core, my lower lips throbbing and aching to be touched.

My thighs instinctively moved forward, but Derek pulled his hand away, finding my jaw. "Where do you want me to kiss you?" The blue of his eyes burned into mine, his thumb trailing along my bottom lip. "I'm not kissing you anywhere unless you tell me too."

I resisted sucking on his finger. "Kiss me anywhere but my neck."

His brows arched inward slightly in question, but he nodded. "Okay."

I nodded, then took his hand and guided it back to my cleavage. "Start here," I guided his fingers to gently touch my swollen breasts that were peeking out from my scandalous top. "Then work your way down."

Both his hands skimmed along my sides while he walked us to the bed, gently pushing me to my back on the comforter. He was prowling now, brushing his fingers up my calves and thighs as he ascended along my body. His shoulders looked so broad from this angle; his eyes dialed into mine. It was an intensity I wasn't expecting, and I was even more confused by the surge of emotions in my chest.

The magnitude was too strong. I squinted my eyes closed to keep from exploding. It wasn't that I didn't want to create a strong bond with Derek, I just wasn't ready to give him that part of me.

His lips found my chest, tasting and suckling along the soft skin. It felt divine, and I moaned when his hands cupped each breast, popping the fabric out of place.

"Fuck, you're perfect," he groaned, tugging away the little bit of shirt to reveal my nipple. He covered the sensitive area with his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hard bud then sucked.

I moaned, both my hands grasping his short hair. He was proving to be good with his mouth, and I wanted him to work his magic lower.

"Kiss me more," I begged, nudging at his shoulders to move lower.

He hummed against my skin. "Your wish is my command." He sat up on his knees, tugging at my shirt and pulling it over my head, freeing my breasts completely. "I knew you weren't wearing a bra."

I giggled, sitting up and yanking his shirt over his head. I'd been dreaming about seeing his taut chest and abs again ever since our first night together. I ran my hand along his muscles and sighed in appreciation.

He took my hands and pressed them over his pecs. "Show me where," he asked, his breath heavy and filled with the need to please me.

"Lower," I said quickly, and he grinned.

"Let me get rid of some obstacles," he flirted, His hands finding the button on my skirt, releasing it then shuffling the rough denim down my legs. "I knew those panties were sexy. I could tell when I touched them."

My heart raced while he gazed hungrily at my body. He was appreciative and awed by it, and I loved knowing the power I had over him because of his fascination.

Both my hands slipped to the lacy fabric, pulling them off and kicking them to the floor, opening my legs as an invitation. I wasn't uncomfortable showing him my body.

Not with alcohol in my veins and his lust-filled eyes watching me.

He licked his lips and grabbed my legs, moving me forward and nestling his broad shoulders between my thighs. He kissed my pelvis, just where a line of pubic hair would begin if I hadn't gotten it waxed regularly. "This low enough?"

I came up on my elbows to watch him, meeting his flirtatious gaze. "I think you can go lower," I said playfully.

He brushed his lips lower at an achingly slow pace, just above my clitoris, licking the soft skin. "How about now?" his warm breath tortured, and I threw my head back with an impatient groan.

"Hmm, I'll take that as a sign to go lower," he flirted again, finally delving his tongue between the sensitive skin.

"Yes," I whispered into the night, my body relaxing and opening up to him. "That's where I want to be kissed."

His nostrils flared, releasing a burst of heat blending with his erotic tongue. He changed the pace and pressure of his movements based on my reactions. Once my legs began to quiver and my back arched, he flattened his tongue and pulsed, bringing me to euphoria.

He was good at this and knew how to read his lover.

He planted sweet kisses along my stomach, making a trail with his tongue up my body while I caught my breath, only to lose it again once he found my collar bone.

My hands flew to his biceps while my leg latched around his hip, using all of my might to flip him to his back. He rolled with me, a chuckle escaping his lips.

"My turn," I said with a smile, trying to hide my discomfort. He probably would have brought his mouth to mine if I would have stayed on my back, but my instinct for control took over. I needed to take the lead before my mind would spiral into the dark hole of my past.

Flattening both my hands on his strong chest, I ran his thick shaft against my still pulsing clit. His eyes closed briefly, then popped back open, his hands finding my thighs. He submitted to the change of power, relaxing his head into the pillow, his gaze filled with wonder and anticipation.

Now that I was in control, I was ready for more. Call me greedy, but I never settled for only one orgasm.

Reaching to my nightstand, I fumbled in the top drawer until I found the crinkly foiled packet. Ripping it open, I pulled out the rubber textured condom.

He held up his hand. "Here, let me do it."

My jaw clenched, but I let him take the lubricated rubber and wiggled to straddle his thighs. I couldn't help but watch him roll down the latex over his length, making sure it was in its proper place.

"What, did you think I wasn't going to put it on correctly?" Derek teased, reaching for my waist.

I nudged forward until I hovered over him again. "Two sets of eyes are better than one," I smirked. "Maybe I just like watching you touch yourself?"

He wiggled his eyebrows, his grip around my waist tightening, the crown of his cock ready to plunge. "I'll remember that for next time," he flirted back, then bucked his hips upward, filling me completely.

The abrupt entrance stole my breath. Gasping, I threw my head back, taking in the sensation of his girth, flexing my inner walls to grow accustomed to his size.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice raspy.

My head fell forward, my hair fanning over my face while I nodded and began to move.

I ground my hips up and down, slow at first, still adjusting to his length, but once I found a groove that rubbed perfectly, I kept it and went to town.

Derek caressed one hand around my waist and down my pelvis until he found the sensitive nub with his thumb, gently pressing as if it were a detonator. Every muscle I had tensed, then spasmed, pleasure pulsing throughout my quivering body.

Derek sat up, wrapping his arms around me tightly, then moved me how he wanted, thrusting upward until he found his own release.

He fell to his back, keeping me in his grasp to his chest, heavy breaths escaping his lips against my sweaty forehead. We laid like that until our heartbeats slowed.

His arms were still around me, caging me to him, and for the slightest moment, I liked it.

I felt safe.

But my head got the best of me, and I squirmed to break free.

Derek frowned when I crawled off of the bed. "You okay?"

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, I'm fine." I threw on a t-shirt and cautiously opened the bedroom door, peeking out to see if the coast was clear to head to the bathroom.

Once I was in the bathroom, I sat on the toilet, covering my face with my hands. What was I doing? Was getting close to this man really a possibility? I know I've said I need to give him a chance, but this was happening faster than I'd expected. Taking a deep breath, I stood from the toilet and moved to the mirror. Looking at my reflection, I questioned myself in my head.

Are you really ready to do this?

Chapter Twenty-Two

Derek was sitting up in the bed when I came back, the sheet pulled over his lap.

I met his gaze for a moment, the softness in his blue irises inviting me back into bed. I resisted, though, instead opening a dresser drawer to find a pair of shorts and slipped them on.

He let out a heavy breath before speaking. "Aren't you going to come back to bed?"

I bit my bottom lip, then sat at the edge of the bed. "This is hard for me," I finally confessed.

His shoulders relaxed, and a smile crept on his face. "I know." He shuffled out of the sheets, hopping off the bed and pulled on his jeans. Sitting beside me now, shirtless, he rested his elbows on his thighs. "I'm not afraid of hard, Jamie."

I glanced at him, twiddling my thumbs in my lap. "I am."

His smile faded.

I let out a slow breath. "I'm really complicated."

The side of his mouth lifted. "I know."

His simple responses made my nerves less twitchy, but didn't help with my confidence.

He studied me for a moment, then just as he was about to lean in and give me a kiss, a muffled shout came from down the hall.

Derek's sweet and soft demeanor changed, and he was on his feet and down the hall in a millisecond. I was hot on his heels, stepping in front of him to grab Becca's door handle before he could barge inside. I held up a finger to him and pressed my ear to the door, waiting for more sounds. We could have mistaken the sound, and the last thing I wanted to do was barge in on my best friend, mid-romp session.

Derek's jaw was tense, his hands in fists. The way his eyes narrowed was intimidating, but I was more worried about Becca.

Another shout came, and I knew it wasn't one of pleasure. I didn't wait this time, instead flung her door open.

Brandon was on the ground, piled on top of Becca, wrestling with her arms. Derek rushed to his brother, grabbing his shoulders and yanking him off of her.

I dove down to Becca, pulling her half naked body into my arms. Tears streamed down her cheeks, her arms wrapping around herself.

"What the fuck!" Derek shouted, shaking Brandon by the shoulders.

Brandon fought against Derek, his face red with anger. "Get out of my business!" Brandon yelled. "This doesn't concern either of you!"

"Fuck if it doesn't," I shouted at him, keeping my arms around Becca.

"You need to go cool off," Derek warned. "Before you say or do anything else that will land you in a jail cell."

Brandon shoved Derek and got out of his hold, then scowled down at Becca. "And you were supposed to be easy."

Derek flung his arms out to grab Brandon, but he was too late, Brandon was marching toward the sliding door behind Becca and I, ripping it damn near off the track when he tore it open to leave, not bothering to close it as he left.

Becca sobbed on my shoulder, and I held her to my chest, wanting to wrap a cocoon around both of us. I felt her pain, having a man using his force against her, holding her down so she couldn't move. I was using all of my might to keep myself together.

Derek held his head in his hands, the veins in his arms dancing angrily with every flex of his muscles. Fury was on his face as he paced in Becca's room. I flinched whenever he'd step toward us.

"I was starting to feel sick and needed to stop, probably too much tequila," Becca sniffed. "It's not that I didn't like him or what he was necessarily doing, I just didn't want to throw up on him, then he went berserk, yelling and shoving me off of the bed, telling me he was over waiting. It's like a switch just flipped inside of him!"

I swallowed hard, holding back my own fears. I'd fallen victim just as she had, thinking someone was good for me only to be fooled.

Derek huffed, then stormed into the living room. His absence let me take a deep breath, and I was still shaken but nothing like Becca. Tears kept streaming down her cheeks as she shuddered.

"Jamie, how did this happen?" She hiccuped while I guided her to stand and lay on the bed. She stumbled, but hid under the covers.

"I don't know," I lied, the extreme guilt filling me from the inside out. I knew Brandon had a past, but Derek was so far into my head that I let the severity of the situation slip.

I should have looked him up, figured out exactly what he was charged for, and I never should have kept Becca in the dark.

"Try to sleep," I said soothingly, running my hands through her hair and across her forehead.

She passed out, and I stood from her bed, careful not to wake her.

"This is my fault," I whispered over and over to myself as I left her room.

"No, it's not," Derek murmured back, damn near scaring the crap out of me.

I covered my racing heart, gripping the handle on Becca's bedroom door so tightly that my knuckles were turning white. "You scared me!" I whispered harshly.

Derek held both of his hands up. "I'm sorry, I wanted to give you a minute, while I took one of my own." He ran his hands over his head, his eyes pained. He'd retrieved his shirt from my bedroom, the polo wrinkled from lying on the floor.

"Can we just...?" He stepped to me with both arms out, and I instinctively went to step back, but couldn't because of the door. He didn't pick up on my attempt to back away, only wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head against the side of mine.

I was stiff at first, but the hug wasn't meant to be needed for romance, but for comfort. Derek was just as upset as I was about how his brother lashed out at Becca.

He breathed into my hair, and I held him the best I could, choking back my own emotions.

Why was I still afraid Derek would turn into his brother? Becoming an unpredictable monster, who, if he didn't get his way, would take it out on his victim?

My own body shook now, and Derek tightened his hold. "I'm not like him."

I wanted to speak, but words wouldn't come out.

Derek leaned back so he could meet my gaze, his arms still tangled around my waist. "I'd never hurt you, Jamie."

I stared into his eyes, pleading with myself that I'd be able to see something that gave me serenity, but I couldn't shake my fear. Putting on the best front I could, I grinned and stroked his cheek with my hand, forcing the tremors of uncertainty to subside. "I know."

He smiled, but it didn't match his eyes. "You probably want to go to bed now."

I nodded. "Yeah."

He let his arms loosen around my waist, letting them linger for a moment, waiting for me to say more, but he was right, it was time to end the horrible evening.

Finally, he dropped his hands and headed to the door. I followed him, opening it to let him out.

He turned to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me again. "I hate that our night turned out like this," he murmured against my ear.

"It's not your fault," I said truthfully, knowing I needed to make him feel better. He wouldn't leave unless he knew I was okay. "We'll just have to do this again on our own next time."

I sensed his smile by the low rumble of his chest against mine. "I was worried there wouldn't be a next time."

His intuition was good, but I still had to fool him to get him off of my front porch.

"You're too good in bed," I murmured against his ear, pressing my pelvis to his.

He smirked, letting one hand wander to my butt, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You're pretty good, too," he flirted, but his eyes softened. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

I smiled, but shook my head. "Not tonight."

His jaw clenched slightly, but he still smiled, then kissed me, letting his lips linger until I broke the contact. "Goodnight," I said, dropping my hands from his neck.

He let go of me and nodded. "Goodnight."

I watched him walk down the steps, his hands in his pockets. He peered over his shoulder while I stood in the door frame, offering me the dazzling smile I had fallen for in the first place.

I didn't close the door until he turned the corner, too in my own head to wonder why he hadn't walked to his car.

Chapter Twenty-Three

I crawled into bed with Becca after triple checking all of the locks. It was something I typically did, but had gotten too confident since the letters weren't coming on a regular basis. I didn't want her to wake up and freak out without me, but to my surprise, I was alone in her bed when the light shone through her window the next morning.

I sat up, searching for her, surprised to see her showered and dressed, doing her makeup in her attached bathroom. "Becca?"

She finished dabbing mascara on her eye, then came and sat on the edge of the bed. "I couldn't sleep."

"You should have woken me."

She smiled, but it didn't touch her eyes. "I know, but I had to do a few things."

I curled my knees to my chest. "I'm so sorry about last night. Derek was sorry, too."

"I know, it's not anyone's fault but my own."

"No, that's not true."

She held her hand up to stop me from talking.

I wanted to tell her it was my fault, but I just couldn't spill the dirt. I was a coward hidden in a confident body.

"I scheduled my exam to get my architecture license. I need to start the life I've been working toward."

My mouth clamped shut, and I knew what she was getting at. It was time to grow up, time to be adults and get the jobs we deserved from our schooling. No more fast nights and sporadic living. No more multiple bar nights with boos, and strangers for dance partners.

"I know you wanted to have fun and live day by day but, I can't do that anymore."

I nodded. "I understand." It would be best for her, but that meant wherever Becca went, was where she would stay, and that terrified me.

As if reading my mind, she said, "You can come with me. I'll need a roommate, wherever I end up. I know your family is here, but well... I love you like a sister."

I smiled, my heart tugging at how wonderful of a friend she was. "We'll see where you go. You know me, I'm a nomad at heart."

"You might want to stay with Derek," she grinned. "I'd understand-"

I stopped her. "That's not going to go anywhere." I kept my face unreadable, not wanting her to realize that I was struggling with my emotions toward him.

"Don't let his brother decide your fate with him," she said quickly. "Although he's an asshole."

"See, it could run in the family," I added, my insides turned while I smirked.

I was such a fake.

She laughed and hugged me. "Thanks for saving me last night," her humor turned into a whisper, her words shaky.

"That's what friends are for," I promised. "Let's go get breakfast. I need something greasy to help my hangover."

Becca let me go and laughed again, rubbing under her eyes. "I'm one step ahead of you. I grabbed some greasy sausage and cheese bagels from the diner across the street."

I held both of my hands in the air in triumph, then climbed off of the bed. "You. Are. The. BEST!"

She patted the brown paper bag on the kitchen island. "Here you go! There was also some mail for you in the mailbox. I set them on the counter by the food."

Taking a seat on the barstool off of the kitchen, I snagged the bag and tugged out the sandwich, needing it to help soak up my alcohol ridden stomach.

After taking a few bites of the greasy goodness, I moved a magazine from the pile, then nearly choked. I coughed, the half eaten bagel falling from my hand, the cheese barely keeping it in sandwich form when it fell onto the countertop.

Just when I thought I had escaped him, the crisp, black rectangle envelope had found me.

"You okay?" Becca yelled from her bedroom.

I cleared my throat before answering. "Yeah, just swallowed the wrong way," I muffled back, snatching the letter and shoving it under my tank top as if Becca wasn't the one to bring my mail inside.

"I'm going to hop in the shower," I rasped, trying my best to keep my voice from quivering.

She stayed in her room, her laptop now on her bed. "Okay, I'm going to apply for some more jobs. As much as I don't want to, there are openings at a popular architecture firm in Grand Rapids."

I gave her a thumbs up and flew into the bathroom, half listening to what she had told me.

"How did he find me?" I whispered once the shower water was pounding in the tub, drowning out any background noise.

Unable to keep my patience, I ripped open the red pressed seal, not bothering if it tore the tri-folded paper.

My hands shook, crinkling each side of the paper while my eyes focused on the sharp words written in beautiful cursive.

I can't watch you give away your affection anymore.

We'll be together soon.

-Rod

My arms shook, my knuckles pure white from my clutch on the paper. I wanted to rip it in half, destroy it into a thousand pieces, and soak them down the drain, but that would only make the paper disappear. The words would still be fresh in my mind, a hidden promise laced with the white ink like a tattoo, burned into my flesh.

He'd found me again, and I was stupid for thinking I had escaped him.

How far would I have to go to free myself from the terror this man had caused me?

I tugged off my tank top and shorts, using them to hide the letter on the counter while I climbed in the rainfall of the hot shower.

I scrubbed at my skin, washing along my wrists and arms, delicately massaging around my neck, desperate to rid away the invisible scars Rod had left on my body. I closed my eyes, recalling how cautious Derek was around the zones I had told him to stay clear of on my body, amazed he hadn't pressured me into explaining why I didn't like to be touched in certain areas.

Would he be understanding of the dark shadow I carried behind me? Or would Rod find a way to hurt him, just as he had hurt my family so devastatingly in the past. My chest tightened, my breath becoming shallow. I couldn't risk putting Derek in danger, not anymore than I already had.

Chapter Twenty-Four

"I think you should apply for jobs in Grand Rapids," I said swiftly to Becca, plopping down on her bed beside her. I'd managed to compose myself during the hot shower, my tears were all shed just as the water ran cold.

"Really?" Becca said, looking over her laptop. "You know how crazy my family is."

"Becca, they have their own lives there, it's not like your mom will demand you to join her for dinner every night."

Becca raised a brow. "Only every Sunday."

I shrugged. "You know how many times my mom calls me to come over for dinner?"

"That's different," Becca defended."Your parents' house is fun and inviting. My parents' house is stiff and full of expensive objects that might break if you breath the wrong way."

She was right about that, my parents home was chaotic with all of my siblings running a muck, but I needed to get out of this state, and take Becca with me before Rod sank his teeth into her, too.

"I guess it would be nice knowing the likelihood of my running into Connor and Ashlynn would be minimal, I mean what are the chances they'd come to Grand Rapids? Connor's dad's practice is here, not there. No way would he pass up becoming a partner with his dad's firm. It was his dream."

I waved my hand at her. "See? Apply. I'll start looking for marketing jobs there, too."

Becca shrugged and brought her attention back to her computer screen.

I hustled toward the hallway, eager to hunt for jobs on my own computer. Nothing lit a fire under my ass as much as those damn letters.

Once my computer warmed up and I typed in the search bar, _marketing jobs in Grand Rapids, MI_ , a knock came to the door, and I froze, my heart rate rising. I couldn't see any figures from my window, but the police car parked next to Derek's car made my pulse shoot through the roof.

Derek. Why was his car still here?

"Edgewood Orlando Police," was followed by the next knock, and I jumped to my feet, bumping into Becca on the way.

"Did they just say, police?!" Becca whispered harshly, her lips trembling. "Do you think it's about Brandon?"

I shrugged, forcing my body to relax. I'd lied to the police before, I could do it again.

Becca's brows marred as she flew to the door, opening it to find three officers, two in uniform and one wearing a suit and tie.

"Excuse us, but are you the resident of this unit?"

"Yes, we are," Becca said quickly. "Is everything okay?"

"Do you know who the owner of the red Charger parked out front is?"

I looked over his shoulder, curious why it was still in front of our apartment. "Yeah, that's our friend, Derek's car."

The man with the suit rolled his bottom lip under his top teeth. "Is he here by chance?"

I shook my head. "No, he left in the middle of the night."

The officer eyed both of us. "I'm Detective Walters. May we come in and ask you both a few questions?"

Becca stood to the side. "Sure. Is everything okay?"

The officers stepped inside and Becca led them to our kitchen table. I followed quietly, standing in the kitchen. My nerves were going every which way, my heart racing, but I remained cool and collected.

"Can you tell us what you did last night?" Detective Walters asked us, then nodded to the patrol officer who pulled out a notepad and pen.

"Sure. We went to Twisted with Derek and his brother Brandon," Becca said evenly. "Then came back here."

"Do you know what time?"

Becca looked at me, biting her lip. "We left around eight, got back here around one?"

I nodded, indicating I agreed with Becca's statement.

Becca tugged on her hair, her hands twitching nervously. "I'm not sure what time they left? Maybe two thirty?"

"Did they leave together?"

Becca shook her head, shame crossing her face.

The detective waited, then asked, "Was there an altercation?"

"Brandon was being aggressive," Becca said quietly. "I mean he didn't hurt me, and Derek and Jamie," she pointed to me, "intervened before..." her face reddened, and I wanted to take the spotlight off of her. I knew Becca, and she probably had no intentions of reporting Brandon's aggressive behavior to the police. She'd pretend that it never happened, hence why she was ready to up and move.

"Before what?" The detective encouraged her.

"He was drunk and wanted to have sex with her," I said quickly, saving Becca from becoming more embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry."

"Thanks," Becca said quickly. "I'm not hurt."

"I'm glad. We can write a report on that in a moment if you'd like. So after Jamie and Derek intervened, what happened?"

"Brandon left out the sliding door of my room. I'm not sure what time Derek left?" Becca said looking toward me.

"Probably a half hour after Brandon?"

The detective peered over at me. "He didn't take his car though?"

"Yeah, I watched him walk down the street. I was tired, and didn't think about why he didn't get into his car."

"Do you remember which way he turned?"

I thought for a moment. "Left, back toward Twisted, I believe."

The detective nodded. "Did either of them try and contact you since you saw them in person last night?"

We shook our heads.

Becca chewed on her nails. "Is something wrong?"

The detective clenched his jaw before he spoke. "Brandon was found dead in an alley a few blocks down."

Chapter Twenty-Five

I covered my mouth and stumbled forward, holding onto the back of Becca's chair to keep myself from falling over. "What?" I murmured, stunned.

Becca gasped, both of her hands flying to her face. "How? Why?" she muffled.

Tears pricked the backs of my eyes; my legs beginning to shake.

"We aren't sure, but by what we've investigated, it looks like he got into a fight, ending with a bullet wound."

"Oh my gosh!" Becca cried, tears springing from her eyes. I bent down to hug her, my own tears beginning to drain. "How? Who would have done that?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out, ma'am."

"You should call Derek, see how he's doing," Becca sniffed.

"Yeah, I'll go get my phone," I cleared my throat and grabbed it from the kitchen counter, swiping through to find Derek's number.

Maybe he didn't know? Or maybe he knew too much. My heart raced while I thought, terrified of the scenarios that were playing out in my head. What if Derek was with Brandon? _What if..._

"It went straight to voicemail," I whispered, trying to call him again.

The detective exchanged glances with the other officers, then held out his hand. One of the other men reached into his side pocket, pulling out a zip lock bag that held a phone. "Is this his phone?"

My eyes widened, recognizing the sea turtle sticker I stuck on the back of it one day when he left it at the front desk during work.

"Yes," I said evenly, my stomach doing somersaults.

The detective frowned. "We found it in a trash can near the alley earlier this morning."

Water pooled in my eyelids.

It was happening again.

"I can call Maxine, maybe she knows where Derek went," Becca said with a shaky voice, beginning to stand from her chair.

"Who is Maxine?" The detective asked. "If she is his mother, please, let me talk to her first. No one wants to hear that their son is dead over the phone."

Becca sat back down and nodded. "Yes. I'll give you her phone number and the address to the gym she owns."

"Do you know who Brandon's parents are?" the detective asked while Becca scrolled through her phone.

"Only his mom, Maxine, is our boss, we just met Derek and Brandon a few months ago at the gym. We all worked together," I said quietly.

"I see," the detective said. "If I could get both of your contact information, just in case we need to reach either of you. I'm so sorry to give you such bad news."

The officers wrote down all of our contact information and stood to leave.

"Thank you for speaking to us," the detective said politely. "If Derek tries to contact you at all, please, don't hesitate to call. We really need to get a statement from him, but I'm afraid reaching him is going to be difficult."

"Of course," I said quietly, walking them outside.

I stopped him for a moment. "Can I ask you, how did you know that was Derek's car?"

The officer stood for a moment, studying me. "We had a tip off."

Confusion spread across my face, but by how Detective Walters lips locked, I knew he wasn't going to disclose any other information.

When I closed the door and came back inside, Becca was sitting at the table.

"I can't believe he's dead," she said softly, her eyes still red and swollen.

"I know."

Becca met my gaze. "They think Derek did it, don't they?"

Even though I didn't say anything, she knew I agreed with her.

"Do you think he could do that? He was pretty mad."

I walked toward my room, stopping by the bathroom door. "I'm not sure. I don't think he'd be a murderer, but I guess I wouldn't know."

But I did know, and Derek wasn't a murderer.

Rod was.

And I'd bet on my life that Brandon was Rod's victim, and that Derek would never be seen again.

This was proof that I couldn't have a relationship, because no matter how close I got to a man, Rod would go to any means necessary to keep me from loving anyone else but him.

He'd kill for me, and would kill anyone who got in his way to have me.

Becca shook. "Let's make a promise to never talk about this again."

I nodded, adding Derek to the vault in my heart that held the others I'd lost because of Rod.

Prologue to Obsession, book 1 in The Obsession Series

Rod

I had been sitting in this diner for three hours, my gaze fixated on the apartment building across the street.

"Do you need anything else, sugar?" the plump older woman asked as she held a coffee pot in one hand and a cloth in the other.

"No, thank you," I rasped without meeting her eyes. It was 12 am, and my heart raced faster with each passing moment.

I was waiting for the girl who'd stolen my heart. When she'd left earlier, her caramel hair was curled, floating over her perfect breasts; breasts that should have been covered up, but instead were on full display under her black halter top.

Anger fueled me as I pictured her leaving her apartment. She had looked confident and sexy, her head held high as though she were about to take over the world. Thankfully, her midriff wasn't showing tonight, but her skirt was too short, revealing her toned thighs; thighs that needed to be wrapped around my waist, the sky-high black heels digging into my back.

I shifted in my seat, my arousal trying to overpower my anger. That was always my problem. I mixed the two together in a dangerous way. It was why she no longer wanted me.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled my phone from my hoodie pocket. The agony of not knowing where she was tortured me. I needed to distract myself until she came home. I pulled up the most recent background check on her, divulging nothing new since she'd moved out of her apartment a month ago into a new one.

I should have followed her tonight, but I knew my emotions would overtake me, blowing my cover. I wasn't ready to swoon her back into my life, not yet. I still had a few things to take care of; a few things to make disappear.

She'd want me if I could provide for her. She'd want me again if she knew I got help. She'd want me again once all those other assholes were out of her system.

I knew this was true because she never stayed with them, and if it seemed like they were starting to stick, I reminded her I was still here by sending her my love notes.

I pulled my hood down farther over my head, trying to count to ten before I'd explode. Then I saw her through the glass of the diner, smiling and giggling with her roommate. My heart fluttered at the sight of her happiness.

I used to make her happy.

I could still make her happy.

Only a few more things needed to be done.

But then all those warm feelings turned to stone as I watched the two douche bags walking behind Jamie and her roommate. The smiles on their faces were ones I knew well. Their shirts were too tight, stretching over their muscles. They were about to get some—at least they thought they were... I glanced down at my arms; I could stand to increase my weight on the bench press again.

"Sure you don't need anything else?" the waitress asked again. Now she was hovering, which only irritated me more.

My breathing increased as the meat heads followed them inside.

"Can I get another coffee, please? And a grilled cheese with bacon," I demanded, squeezing packets of sugar in between my palms.

***

A few more hours had gone by, and controlling my sanity was getting harder and harder. What was she doing with those men inside her apartment? Was she with one while her roommate was with the other? Maybe they were just playing cards or watching a movie?

Yeah, watching a movie. The last time I'd watched a movie with Jamie our pants were around our ankles.

Just as I was about to storm out of the diner, there was activity in front of her apartment building.

It was Jamie, disheveled and wearing a tank top and little shorts; her ass would hang out if she bent over far enough. And that meathead was there, behind her, a smug grin plastered on his face.

I wanted to rip his jaw in half.

Standing from my seat, I paced the diner, my eyes glued to the interactions I feared they'd begin to share.

Then it happened.

She stepped toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck. His hands moved around her waist, reaching for her butt. I saw red when he grabbed it as though it were his, and that little slut let him. In fact, by the way she pressed into him, moving to kiss his lips, I'd say she enjoyed it.

I gripped my hair, willing myself not to do what my head was telling me, but there was no use. Watching them say goodbye tore me apart, fueling my rage for what I was about to do. She gently pushed him away, the one good thing she'd done since that meat head was in her presence.

She closed the door with a satisfied grin on her face while that fucker practically skipped down the steps.

He wouldn't be skipping for long.

Follow him.

Make him pay.

Make him realize he can never fucking touch her again.

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Reading Order:

Obsession (Book 1)

Hide (Book 2)

Seek (Book 3)

Drawn to Obsession (Standalone Prequel that can be read any time.)

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Prologue to Obsession

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