Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday, May 28th, 2013.
You know, something just occurred to me. I've probably said "Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday"
like 600 times in my life and I only just now realized that Tuesday is probably because it's the second day.
Nope, in fact it is named for Tiw, the Proto-Germanic god of war.
Hank, today's video comes in three parts. Part 1: A quick response to your video about Tumblr and startups
and the monetization of cool things. I think the underlying problem is that almost everything
on the Internet is dependent upon advertising and advertisers, in my opinion, are terrible at measuring
the value in the creator/viewer relationship.
Hank, advertisers care much more about the number of views than the quality of views, so for instance,
Thoughts From Places videos are consistently the least viewed videos on the Vlogbrothers channel.
So the advertising revenue model tells us to stop making Thoughts From Places videos and focus on like,
giraffe sex. But in fact, Hank, we know from comments and conversations with Nerdfighters that
Thoughts From Places videos are among their favorite. The people we really want to love our videos
love those videos, dare I say it, more than giraffe sex.
Now Hank, don't get me wrong. I dig giraffe sex, but I want a broader Internet. And I worry that Tumblr
and Facebook and even YouTube can only support that breadth as long as they are willing to lose money,
so Hank, please fix this problem during my paternity leave. Okay? Thanks.
Part 2: Nerd Factor. Thank you so much to the more than 1600 people who posted videos to the Nerd Factor
competition. I am very sad that I can only be replaced by two of you. But to quote Tiw, the great Proto-Germanic
god of war, "There must always be a victor." That's not really a quote.
So our first winner is MagicTurtle643!
"Check out this teacup I got. And look what it comes with. And what's this supposed to be?
A checklist? Tea, tea, tea? Well, check, check, check.
Mmm, oh man, nothing in there.
Look, they both have the same drowsy bear in a nightgown. And this is my personal favorite.
'The Instant Chrysanthemum Beverage.' And I'm not sure if this is actually a tea or not. And I have to be honest,
I haven't actually tried this one because I'm pretty sure there was a packaging error, and instead of a
chrysanthemum beverage, I wound up with packets of Chinese rat poison."
Hank, this guys been making videos for more than five years. He's participated in the Project For Awesome,
and he has fewer than 700 subscribers and he's hilarious, so let's change that.
So he will be playing the role of me on some forthcoming Tuesday of my paternity leave, as will
Nerdy and Quirky!
"Hello, welcome to Nerdy and Quirky. As a 14-year-old with the emotional maturity of, say, an unearthed potato,
I feel like it's my responsibility to tell you all how to attract human with romantic undertones, because
Valentine's Day. *Ding*"
Nerdy and Quirky is one of the best Youtubers I have come across in years.
Take a gander at this clip from her video about fangirls.
"You may also find your fangirl in tears. Do not approach. This is their most dangerous state,
when they are prone to lash out. Take care of them from a distance.
There, there, fangirl. The new season starts next fall. Unless it's from NBC."
So Hank, those are the two Nerdfighters who will be standing in for me during my paternity leave.
However, I want to declare two more winners, both singers.
First, Ruby Day.
"In times like this, I wish I were a sailor, I could sail far away to hidden love.
With the sea below and the sky above, the horizon the only thing to love, and anchors tattooed
on my chest and hands."
Oh man, that is good. And second, the Swot Sisters.
"I am a very model of a Nerdfighter Eclectanerd. I have information, epic, awesome, literary and absurd.
I play Dungeons and Dragons and I quote the Docs historical, from William Hartnell to Matt Smith,
in order categorical."
Hank, the whole song is amazing. There are links to all these channels in the dooblydoo. They are all excellent,
so please check them out and subscribe to them. Thank you to everyone who submitted to Nerd Factor,
and especially to Danica, who helped make all of this possible.
And now Part 3: Hank, you remember how that special edition TFiOS audiobook, narrated by me
with, like, a bonus DVD and stuff was available for while at DFTBA.com? It is back!
Available for preorder now, link in the dooblydoo or you can just click there.
Hank, I will see you on Friday.
Little known fact, named for Stephen Fry.
