- This is Walk-Ins Welcome
with Bridget Phetasy.
I'm Bridget Phetasy, and you are welcome.
(laughs)
(upbeat music)
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This week, we're deviating from the normal
Walk-Ins Welcome format,
because a lot of people
have been asking me who I am and what I do
and how I got here and what is Phetasy
and a lot of questions.
So I thought I'd start this new segment
that we'll do occasionally
called Story Hour
with Bridget Phetasy.
Some names have been bleeped
to protect the innocent.
A lot of people have
questions about yours truly,
and my story and journey, and
Maggie, my producing partner
and cousin on this
podcast and also in life,
on scripts and all kinds of
other creative endeavors,
greeting cards, Make Brad
Pitt Great Again hats,
whatever it is, Phetasy Incorporated,
Maggie probably has a behind
the scenes hand in it.
And so she's gonna interview me
and we're gonna tell stories
about how we ended up
here in LA doing this.
Because a large part of
what inspired this podcast
is just the sheer grit and determination
that it's taken me to
even get to the point
where I'm doing this podcast.
I think one of things a
lot of people wanna know
is what is Phetasy?
- Yes, fair question.
- And where the idea came from.
Phetasy's not my last name.
It is now.
But it's a stage name.
But it started as a word
I made up for our company.
As we do when we make
up words for companies.
(both laugh)
Google wasn't a word either, guys.
People are always like, you can't do that.
You can't just make up
a word for a company.
- Google was a word.
What?
It's a number.
It's like some sort of
mathematical term, I think.
- Really?
- Yeah, pretty sure.
- Well, no one knows that.
(both laugh)
Except for you.
And probably lots of other people.
But I didn't know that.
(both laugh)
- But, Phetasy, yes is a word you made up.
And tell us what the
definition is, Bridget.
- Well, it's taken only-
- 15 years.
- 15 short years to nail it down.
It's basically a moment, it's
when parody becomes reality.
The best way to describe it.
So we are living in the age
of Phetasy at this moment,
which is why it's suddenly
become so easy to define.
All of these things always
happened to me in life
that were beyond parody.
They were, it was like,
I used to describe it
as when irony doubles back on
itself and becomes literal.
Which is basically parody becoming reality
and or irony squared.
Which is a little too heady
for the average person
to get their mind around, including me.
- It was always very hard to describe,
but you knew those
moments when you had them.
You would always describe them as
God's laughing at me moments.
- Yeah.
Like it was a moment you look
up at the sky and you're like,
oh come on, really?
This can't be real.
This can't be.
And that can be good and bad.
There are moments in my
life that have been tragic
or tragic things have happened to people
that I know, where it's not ironic.
It's a Phetasy, but like
the dark side of a Phetasy.
Like my friend who
specifically stayed overnight
to avoid drunk drivers, and
was on her way to a class
to help people with addiction,
and got hit by a guy
who had been up all night doing blow,
and killed her.
And not to, like, start
this off on a horrible note,
but that is just an
example of, like, come on.
- Right, it's just too ironic.
- It's like the guy who
fricken started Segway,
Segway-ing off a cliff.
(both laugh)
- Yes, that's a Phetasy.
- I should write a song.
♪ It's like the guy on a Segway ♪
♪ Running off a cliff ♪
(both laugh)
Yeah, so.
That's what that is.
Phetasy was devised as
a name for a company
because my sister and
I, we come from divorce.
My family's, like, many, many Americans
and people all over the world.
Our parents were divorced
and we were always
looking for greeting cards and
none of them ever spoke to us
because they were all for,
they were Hallmark cards.
They're better about it now,
I feel like now it's better.
I still think the market is
there for our greeting cards.
- Yes, we've lists of greeting
cards that we wanna make
and notebooks.
- And many designed already.
- Uh huh.
- So if you wanna fund
our greeting card line
and you're listening to this
and you're a billionaire
and you're like, you know,
this girl's on to something.
I like these two.
They've got moxie.
- Then welcome, friend.
- Please email me.
(both laugh)
Because I have this stuff all ready to go.
I just need someone with a
little bit of business acumen.
- A little bit of start up capital.
- I need an angel investor stat for this.
Anyway, the angel investor was me,
cause I'm an idiot, and
I started Phetasy.com
and I made a bunch of these greeting cards
and they were digital greeting cards.
This was back in 2005, and-
- They were limited addition printings
and then
- and then digital e-cards
that you could send, and they were sweet.
They like, flipped.
They were, what were they called?
- Flash?
- Flash, which is horrible.
But they were awesome
because they actually flipped
and made a noise.
They were really cool but you
know, no one who uses flash,
does anyone use flash anymore?
- Yeah, I think so.
I don't know, I don't know.
- We're old ladies.
(both laugh)
We're 80.
- The internets.
(both laugh)
- Maggie's barely on the
internets and I'm on Twitter
but that's as far in the internets as I go
but I'm still like an 80
year old with technology.
And so started Phetasy,
and it then, (laughs),
I decided in all of my genius
to take Phetasy on a tour.
- Well, there was also t-shirts.
- There were t-shirts, as well.
There will always be t-shirts.
- There were awesome t-shirts.
- Also, an angel investor listening,
we have millions of those ready.
- Ready to go.
- Ideas.
- Waiting to pull the trigger on.
- Someone build us a website.
- Because your website moved to France.
- Oh, God it's so heartbreaking.
That's a long story.
Okay, that's a story we're getting to.
We'll end up with how Phetasy.com,
the original site, ended up
disbanding and moving to France.
That's where we're headed,
so keep us on track Maggie.
- I will try.
- And I was in Rhode
Island and I launched,
I put all the money into this.
- Went into debt.
- Went into debt.
- With no plan.
- No business plan.
Listen, young grasshoppers out
there, and Bridget right now,
doing this again, cause I'm an idiot,
don't go into business
without a business plan.
And so, I did that.
I was, like, 26 years old, or 28, yeah.
- Fresh.
Fresh out of a marriage?
- Fresh out of a marriage, yep.
Yep.
Really fresh out of a marriage.
And then I launched this
website and I was like,
well, and it was the dawn
of social media, too.
So, hence how I became Bridget Phetasy,
was everyone was like,
you gotta get on MySpace,
you gotta get on Facebook, blah blah blah.
And I couldn't get on Facebook
cause I didn't go to college
and so I didn't have a college address.
And I did get on MySpace
and I just figured
since Phetasy was a word I
made up and nobody knew it,
and if I was only going
on social media for,
to brand my company,
that I would just put,
and by the way, this was before
they had pages for brands,
so I couldn't just start a page for,
everyone's so used to all this stuff now,
but we didn't have these things.
And so I just started my personal profile
as Bridget Phetasy,
which kind of functioned
as the business profile.
Also, it was just a way for
me to get the brand out.
- Right.
- And then I went on tour.
I was like, just cause
I'm not a band doesn't,
I was a one-woman brand,
and I took my company,
I was very restless,
and I'm like, well I'm not
gonna wait for the world
to come to me online, I'm gonna
go out and find the world.
It was a disaster (laughs), no.
- Well, you went on tour for six months.
You drove all over the country.
- Jesus, those stories.
In my little Passat with my cousin.
- A different cousin than me.
- Not Maggie.
- I didn't go cause I was
finishing college.
(both laugh)
- We are winners.
- I was like way behind.
(both laugh)
So I had to finish school.
- Maggie had to finish school.
I was like, you gotta finish school.
And then my other cousin
dropped out of school
to come drive around the country with me.
Much to the dismay of my aunt and uncle.
- His parents were not pleased.
- No, no they weren't.
And we started in Rhode
Island and went down,
I was determined to sell
t-shirts (laughs) in Miami
during spring break because
a lot of you youngsters,
won't remember Girls Gone Wild,
but I made about, you know,
hundreds of hundreds of t-shirts
that said, "Daddy Would Be Proud"
in the Girls Gone Wild font.
And I thought they'd be selling
like hot cakes down there.
- Yep.
- Turns out people weren't so amused.
- We made decals for the
Phetasy car (laughs).
- Oh, my God.
- It was branded.
- I still worry that, like, some inmate
found one of those decals
when it fell off my car.
Talk about, like, a Phetasy story.
When he was cleaning the side of the road
and started stalking me
online, just biding his time
waiting to get out of jail and like,
middle of America.
I'll find you Bridget Phetasy,
when I get outta here.
Yeah, we had the Phetasy-mobile.
- You went to Florida and then you went-
- I did, sell t-shirts.
- On the beach.
- Walking up and down
the beach, by the way.
And that's really hard work,
and it's why I always buy stuff
from people because my God,
I would do it for hours,
like hours, like eight
hours and make no money.
And I, you know, started to,
we were partying, I was
drinking at the time,
and doing everything else,
and we were in Miami.
And I was still quite a youngster.
- Yep, yep.
Fresh out of Girls Gone
Wild days yourself.
- Oh, I feel like I was entering
the Girls Gone Wild days, part two.
I was entering
my Renaissance-
- Round two.
- Phase of Girls Gone Wild.
It was like young woman going wild.
And we had friends in Miami.
And there was a lot of raging.
And my other friend from
high school came down
and they were all supposed to be helping
and nobody was, they were all partying.
- Didn't they off to, like,
Fort Lauderdale to party?
- Oh, I was so mad.
And I was like just
angrily selling t-shirts
and then passive aggressively being
pissed off at everybody every night.
- I remember you calling me about that.
You were so upset.
- Yeah, they were all just
raging and I was like,
trying to make some money around here.
- We're supposed to be here to work.
- You guys all promised me
you'd come here to help me work
and they were all just there partying.
Should've been a preview of
all of the coming attractions
of the six months, but lo and behold,
my dumb ass continued on.
- Well, and then, okay.
So you left Florida, and
then you guys just like
roamed around the country.
- Yeah, then we went to-
- You went to different festivals.
- Well, we went to Oklahoma to the farm.
- That's right.
- And then we went to
California and went to,
that's when we volunteered at Coachella.
That was my first Coachella ever, 2006.
And we had to guard these,
like art port-o-potties.
It was nuts.
We were, it was nuts I mean,
sleeping on the grounds and they stunk.
It was crazy.
It was Coachella, when
Coachella was amazing, actually.
And it was really fun.
And then we went to, we were
in Palm Springs for a while
and then we went up to,
oh God, then we went to-
- Santa Cruz and-
- Santa Cruz for Easter.
And I threw this party.
(both laugh)
On Easter where I got a case,
Maggie's cringing right now.
- You threw a, what's the
name of the party, Bridget?
- A Resurrection party.
(both laugh)
It's the resurrection, that's
what we just kept saying.
And I got a case of champagne
and I think a case of vodka.
It was bananas.
- And everyone dressed up as-
- [Both] Biblical characters.
- And my cousin was Jesus,
and I believe I was Mary Magdalene
and we all got black out
drunk, my cousin Jesus,
in particular, and
scared all of the locals
in Santa Cruz when we wandered around
for our evening stroll, wasted, dressed up
like biblical characters
while families were out
after church.
I don't know what we were thinking.
And then we had a bonfire and
(beep) was either jokingly,
or actually, possessed.
- Oh, God.
- Cousin.
And he was like pretending
to speak in tongues
and have, like, a meltdown
and scared all of our cousins.
We have 26 cousins.
- Yes.
- Maggie and I.
Our parents are two of 10.
And so we have cousins everywhere.
So there's cousins, like,
they're all over the country.
- So you guys were visiting
cousins in Santa Cruz.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- And we had to leave the
next morning (laughs).
- Just, like, creep out.
- Like, in the early morning.
And then we headed off to Seattle
and we were trying to get
into Vancouver and couldn't
because they thought we had all of the,
we couldn't get in with the t-shirts,
but they searched my whole
car cause they thought
we had the t-shirts bundled
in white garbage bags,
but they looked like bricks of cocaine,
and they tore my car apart.
They're like, there must
be drugs in this car.
- Sheer idiocy.
(both laugh)
- We bundled them and then
we had them taped with,
(laughs) taped with duct tape.
And it totally looked like drugs.
- And you guys were just like, yeah sure,
we'll cross a border like this.
No problem.
- And they tore the car apart.
I mean, took every, they
were looking everywhere.
They're like, there have to be-
then they were just mad there
wasn't anything in there.
And they made us leave
the t-shirts in America
for us to even get into
Vancouver cause they were like,
well you can't sell things
in Vancouver, blah blah blah.
Then we went to Vancouver, came back,
and then we went to a festival in-
- Oregon?
- No, it was in, it was at
the gorge in Washington state.
And I got kicked out of that festival
because I was selling
t-shirts in the camp grounds
and it was causing such a ruckus.
People were really into
me and these t-shirts
and they were cheering my
name when the rent-a-cops
took me away.
They were like, "Phetasy, Phetasy.
"Set Phetasy free!"
And we got booted and I was so upset
because I really wanted to
see, yeah we had to get,
they took out tickets away.
Queens of the Stone Age was headlining
and that was the only
reason I wanted to be there
other than selling t-shirts.
And I was killing it,
selling the t-shirts,
hence why I got into so much trouble.
So after all these months
of, kind of not making
that much money, I was
finally really cashing in
on my t-shirts, and
then they made me give,
they took my merch, they
took some of my t-shirts,
the ones I had, and then they
booted me out of the festival.
And so then we left there pretty dismayed,
but then we headed down to Utah.
And hung out in Utah
with our friend there,
and that was bananas, cause
he's a bananas friend.
And then we went to Bonnaroo,
and Radiohead was headlining
and Beck, it was a great year.
And that was nuts.
I sold some t-shirts there too,
but I mean mostly at
that point, we were like
ready to murder each other.
And at this point, nothing
had really been getting done.
I was running out of money.
I was maxing out all my credit cards.
Oh, mind you, this was
the height of gas prices
in America, like to this day.
I still don't think they've
ever been as high as they were.
Those specific, exact
months, that I was driving
around America.
It was nuts.
I was just pissing money away.
Not to mention all the money
we were pissing away drinking,
when I look back on it.
And then ended up back
on the farm to recoup,
and I went to Chicago,
we went to Chicago for,
and then my cousin left,
and then my best friend
lived in Chicago, and she drove the final
rest of the way back to
Rhode Island with me.
- And you guys showed up on
my door step as a surprise.
- Oh yeah.
(both laugh)
We didn't tell anyone.
- You just were like, come outside.
- We drove straight through.
We didn't even stop.
- You drove straight through.
Straight through from
Chicago, you at the wheel.
- That's not surprising.
- And (beep) was like,
she wouldn't let me drive.
- I did that to your sister, too.
I drove all the way to
Iowa before your sister
made me pull over and was
like, please let me drive,
you psychopath.
- Yeah, because you just
spent six months on the road
just driving insanely,
so you were used to it.
- Yeah, it was nothing.
I still do it.
I'm pretty convinced I was a
trucker in a past life or two
because I love those 12 hour drives.
I love them.
And America's got great
roads, for the most part.
- So then, Phetasy kind
of fell apart after that.
(both laugh)
Well, the company side of it.
It existed then for years as,
you wrote on the website.
- Well, no.
Remember then I got on Miami Ink.
- Oh, right.
- Because when I was in Miami,
I stupidly was like,
yeah I'll be on Miami Ink
and I think I signed up or sent in a form
and forgot about it,
and then they called me
and they were like, hey
you made it to, like be on,
we want you to be on Miami Ink.
Can you come down here?
- The lost episode.
- Oh my God.
So then I went down to Miami to go,
and I was gonna get my logo
tattooed on my butt.
- The Phetasy logo.
Yep, the Phetasy logo.
- It was gonna be a joke.
I was gonna brand myself.
Get it?
This was pre-Kardashians, everyone.
I know it's not original anymore.
But it was at the time.
And God has always looked out for me.
- Yep.
Because you got down there-
- I got down there and it
was their first day back
from hiatus, they had been, the show,
Miami Ink had been on hiatus,
and the guy who was
supposed to do my tattoo
was so crabby and a psychopath,
and I forget which, I can't even remember
his name right now.
I wrote a whole story about it.
We'll put it up on Patreon
and you'll have to sign up
for my Patreon to read it, (laughs).
But you'll know how it ends anyway.
- Right, because the story went
on Phetasy, on the website.
- Yeah, all these stories
went on Phetasy, by the way.
The ones that were tellable.
Many of them-
- Were not.
- Were not.
- But, so you, what, finish the story.
- So I get down there and he's like,
I'm not doing this design.
Mind you, it's a design he approved.
They have to approve the Phetasy design.
- Well, he was trying
to do it but couldn't
cause the logo, if you've ever seen it,
consists of several
perfect circles, like in-
- Yeah, but he approved the design.
- Right, but then he
was trying to sketch it
and couldn't do it because
there's so many perfect circles.
- Don't you think he would've
fricken figured that out
before I flew down-
- One would think, yes.
- Flew down to Miami.
It's not like they flew me.
I luckily had friends from
when I had just been in Miami
six months earlier, and I
thought it would be good
for marketing, so I was like,
I'll write this trip off
cause I'm an idiot,
and then I get down
there and they're like,
we can't do this, and then
he was like, super crabby.
And kind of an asshole.
And I was like, I don't
want that guy touching me
with a needle, no way.
I don't want that energy near me.
I don't want him touching me.
Luckily, I had been doing tons of yoga
so I was all into like
the whole the energy, no.
I don't want that in me.
The producer came out and apologized
and he was like, don't
you want like a butterfly
on your ankle or something?
I'm like, no.
This is not the whole point,
is for me to get free marketing.
- You were like, I've never had a tattoo.
I've waited this long to get a tattoo,
I want it to be my company logo.
- Yeah.
Thank God.
- Yeah, thank God it didn't work out.
- Thank God.
- And this was after-
- So I walked.
I was like, I'm gonna go for
a walk and think about it.
And then I came back and I was like, no.
They were saying they'd do anything else,
and I was like, no.
This is not why I came down here
and obviously I'm not
supposed to get a tattoo.
So I left, and then went back,
and then it was my best friend's wedding
and we drove to Minnesota.
- To Minnesota and-
- There's a lot of driving.
- For the wedding, then we drove back,
and then I moved to Utah.
- And then I drove you to Utah.
- They you drove me to Utah.
- And then we drove to LA,
cause I had, oh by the way,
I had a storage unit.
I'm like, infamous at this storage place
because I left LA and, I
left LA because oh god,
this is another story.
- Well, you lived in LA when you were 19.
- Yeah, I moved here around
19,20.
- For about a year.
- Yep, and then I lived in the Valley,
moved back to Minnesota,
went to Rhode Island.
Realized I didn't wanna do any of that.
Came back to LA.
Then I was like, I'm
gonna live in the nice,
I'll figure somewhere else to live,
maybe not the Valley, because
maybe that was the problem.
Turns out it was.
- You lived in Santa Monica.
- And I loved my life and I
created a really great life,
however, I just so happened
to have a neighbor.
Okay, so here's what happened.
One day I'm at a barbecue,
and my friend comes over
from our little, it was
totally classic Santa Monica,
little bungalows that they
had from the, you know '60s
or '50s, and there's a
barbecue in a little courtyard,
and my friends like, hey can
I talk to you for a minute?
And he's like, Dagmar,
our neighbor, Dagmar.
(both laugh)
He's like, she was saying
some really weird stuff
to me about you and I'm actually
worried for your safety.
- Oh, God.
Yeah I remember this story.
- I'm 21, guys, living in LA by myself.
And I lived in this little
studio, and my neighbor
was like a paranoid schizophrenic.
- And she, there was
something about Oliver Stone?
- She thought that I was
working for Oliver Stone
and that I was spying
on her for Oliver Stone.
I'm like, oh by the way, Oliver Stone,
or anyone who knows Oliver
Stone, I have a great movie
for you to write, and here it is.
This fricken psychopath used to,
she called my landlords and she would say,
Bridget's leaving messages
in her beer bottles
that she's leaving
outside her door for me.
Like, subliminal messages or something.
And she, there was like, a metal door out
before the wood door, and
she would be slamming on it
at like six in the morning and telling me
that she was gonna kill me.
I had to call the police once.
And they came and they went,
come to my door laughing,
and they're like, whoa,
you've got a piece of work
over there.
I was like, thanks guys,
she's threatening to kill me
all the time, what can I do?
- Yeah, she's scary.
- And they said, I don't
know, call your landlord.
Like you really can't
get a restraining order.
She lives, like 600 feet away from you.
And they told me that she
said that I had come into
her apartment and bugged it and I had left
kisses on her walls.
Like, I guess there was
lipstick all over her walls.
- Which she probably did
in some sort of blackout.
- I don't know how it works.
I'm not a crazy person.
And then my landlords
called me and they're like,
well, do you work for Oliver Stone?
I was like, no I don't
fucking work for Oliver Stone.
Living in this shitty apartment.
- I would love to meet Oliver Stone.
- So then I was in debt, mind you.
This is pre-Phetasy.
So we're going back to,
like, this is like 2001.
Kitty.
It was the Napster years,
it was the glory days
of the internet.
I was working for buddyhead.com.
I was interning.
And some of you might be
familiar with Buddy Head.
It was the first sex column I wrote.
I was the Buddy Head girl.
I was the only girl.
We had insane adventures.
We went to Sundance, we
went to South by Southwest,
when South by Southwest was cool.
Like, Travis and I drove
overnight one night
26 hours straight, you can
do that when you're 21,
and just got there and went to our buddies
who were performing, and showed up
right as they were getting on stage
and then partied.
And then we were partying
with At the Drive In
on the way home in El Paso, I mean,
my life's been nuts, guys.
Nuts.
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- So you were living in LA, but then,
so then you had to move back
to Minnesota again, right?
- No, Rhode Island.
- Rhode Island.
And so you put your stuff-
- There were other
family things going on and I went home.
- But you put your stuff in storage.
- But I put my stuff in
storage because my landlords,
weirdly, couldn't do anything
or weren't doing anything
fast enough about my neighbor
and I was legitimately
worried about my safety
and then I was like,
all right I'm gonna go home and work.
I come from a resort town
so I was, just figured
I'd go home and work-
- For the summer.
- For the summer, save
money, and come back to LA.
That was in 2000 and like, two.
- 10 years later, Bridget
makes it back to LA.
- It wasn't 10.
- It wasn't 10.
It was, like, I moved in 2007, so.
2007.
So it was like six years.
- About six but it felt like-
- A lot longer.
- I call them the dark years.
- Cause you got married in between.
- Well, my dad was like,
don't get stuck in the trap, Bridget.
Don't get stuck in the rut.
And I'm like, I'm not gonna
get stuck in the rut, dad.
- And then you got stuck.
- And then I got stuck in the rut.
The restaurant industry
rut, and I convinced myself
this girl with all these
massively huge dreams,
by the way, I moved to
LA to be an actress,
that's what I wanted to do initially.
I convinced myself that I was
destined to be a waitress.
And that was my, that was just it.
And then I got married two years later
to a Belarussian.
- A Belarussian busboy.
(both laugh)
I still remember when you first saw him.
Where we were and what we were doing.
- We were basically,
like, not hoes but like,
it was like hoe adjacent.
- My godmother had called me and was like,
I have all these sailors in town.
- It's hoe adjacent.
- And was like, we're going out to dinner
and we need some women so
will you get some women
to come along?
So we were at this dinner
with a bunch of sailors
who were in town, cause the town-
- They were pretty hot,
but they were sailors.
- Sailors, whatever.
So we were at this dinner-
- If you come from
a sailing town, you know
what sailors are like.
- And there were, there were
a bunch of good looking men
at this dinner, and Bridget's
fascinated by the busboy.
(both laugh)
- I got fixated on him.
- She was like, that busboy is so hot.
He's so hot.
- Yeah, I was just like fixated on him.
And my cousin, other cousin, not Maggie,
was like, really, Bridg?
There are all these hot
guys here with money
and you're fascinated with the busboy
who doesn't speak English?
And then I end up marrying him.
I went back, like, two nights
later, and picked him up.
And then whoa, and then we
had a drunken one night stand.
(both laugh)
And he woke up in the
morning and he was like
(moaning) I'm so sick.
I'm so sick.
And I was like, uh, what a pussy.
I thought you Russians
could handle your liquor.
And I was like, I'm outta here, bye.
And so I left.
Didn't think I'd hear from him again,
but wanted to hear from him.
And I was like, that mother
fucker never called me ever.
- After like a week.
- And then I go down to
the place where he worked
and they're like Bridget,
Bridget, did you hear about,
did you hear about your Russian busboy?
He had appendicitis that
morning and had to go
rush to the emergency room,
and I basically left him there dying.
Like, mocking him.
(both laugh)
He still, even when we got married,
he used to give me hell for that.
Like, remember when you left me dying
the first night we met?
Like, I didn't know.
- Okay, but so, you were in,
so you got stuck in the trap.
Were in our home town for about six years,
and then that's when, I mean,
we were attached at the hip.
You moved in with me twice.
When you, like, had moved around.
And then-
- I was a bit of a homeless vagabond
after I left the marriage.
- And then you went on tour
and then you came back.
We went to (beep) wedding.
And then I, then I had decided to move
cause I finally finished school.
- And you were like, I gotta get outta
this small town.
- I was like,
I gotta get outta this town
where I'm related to everyone.
So I decided to, like, I
was basically throwing darts
on a map.
Like I picked Park City,
Utah because it came up
three times in one week in conversation.
And I wanted to move to a resort town,
I wanted to move west.
I was like, mountains would be cool.
I'll go to Park City.
- And what the, oh, I
remember, I was like,
what the heck was I doing?
But I was in, like, the
hellish, most hell experience.
- Right, yeah.
- There was some family
drama and it was insane
and it was all consuming
and I also was like
coming off the heels of a
massively failed attempt
at trying to do something
with my business.
The website still existed,
but I was in financial,
over my head, and then Maggie
left me behind for Utah.
- So, we, I moved to Utah.
You moved me out there,
and then we drove to LA
to clear out your storage unit.
- Because I'm like, oh I have stuff.
And now I'm clearly not
ever going back to LA.
Cause I'm an idiot.
- So we cleared out the storage unit.
We drove back to Utah.
You gave me a bunch of stuff to use
for my new apartment and new life.
- The shit hit the fan in my family.
- Then you flew home and within a month,
you had moved to Utah.
Into my apartment with me.
- Yeah, that was a, I mean,
that whole time in my life.
Holy crap.
- That was a, you had, like
a house in Rhode Island
and all of it and then
you, within a month,
you had packed up and-
- Oh, less than a month.
I had been, I had resettled
back into the house
after it had been emptied.
And then-
- It's a bit of a family dust up.
Which we don't need
to go into details.
- I'm glad I can laugh
about this now.
It was traumatic for everyone.
- And then you called me and I was like,
just come here.
Come to LA, come to Utah.
- I was in dire straights.
That was (beep) idea,
was like go to Maggie.
- That's true, that's right.
- And Maggie and I had been
like saving each other's ass
for about a decade, at that point.
And I was, I said okay.
And then-
- My sister drove out to Utah with you.
- Yep.
So then I drove across the country again.
Jesus Christ.
No wonder, you know, I was recently,
not recently, a couple years ago,
I was at a gas station and I was talking
to my mom, and I was like, mom,
she was talking about doing a road trip,
I'm like, you don't wanna take the 40,
that's the Walmart Highway of the world.
And these truckers were next
to me in the gas station
and they were like, why do
you sound like a truck driver?
How do you know the highways
like a truck driver?
But I have somewhere
how many miles it was.
- Yep.
- Well, it was on the old
Phetasy, on the BB car.
- But, so you moved out to Utah.
You stayed with me in my studio apartment
for six months.
- I had three jobs.
I worked at two restaurants
and a ski lodge.
- And I was living in this, like,
it was like a cross between
a hotel and apartments.
So like some people
was, we had one of those
sliding door keys for my key.
But it was like, it had amenities.
It was nice, it had a gym and like a pool
and a hot tub.
- I love Park City.
- We were right outside the town.
We were about 10 minutes outside.
- It's so gorgeous.
- We had fun in Park City for-
- Raged.
Year, I was there for Sundance.
And then I met, I was there for Sundance
and I met lots of people
cause I did VIP at Harry O's.
And I, you know, LA invades.
And no matter what, I always say this,
chase your dreams or they'll chase you.
And even leaving LA, I was
always trying to get back.
Even when I was married, I came out to LA
and I was trying to convince
him to move there with me
and he wasn't that into it, really,
and he didn't know what he'd do,
and I just wanted to get back desperately.
And then I met a really creative person
and we ended up spending
some Sundance together,
just palling around, and he was like,
you're creative, you belong in LA.
What are you doing?
And I got offered a job in
New York at the same time
by these guys who came, I
mean, you meet a lot of people.
- And you were working in the bars
in the places where-
- Yes, as a matter of fact I am Brazilian.
Everyone kept saying, are you Brazilian?
Because there were so many
Brazilians in Park City,
and I was saying, you could
say that to any woman,
it should be the pickup line for all men,
because if you say to
anyone, are you Brazilian?
Even if they're Asian,
you're basically saying-
- You're gorgeous.
- Are you the most
gorgeous person in the world?
And so the ongoing joke is
yes, as a matter of fact,
I am Brazilian.
- Yeah, and we threw a Phetasy party.
- Yep, we threw a Phetasy party.
We hadn't given up on the dream.
- And then you, in like,
in March in the spring,
after the season was
over, you moved to LA.
- And then, yep.
I had to get out.
I was gone.
- Okay, tell the story of
your getting your apartment,
when you were moving back.
- Oh, yeah that's nuts, too.
And then, I basically
am the kinda person who,
when I make up my mind to do something,
it just happens almost like magic.
Like I had sold everything in
that house in Rhode Island,
in like a week, and then with Maggie I,
I was falling into some bad habits, too.
And Park City is very
much like our home town,
just in the mountain.
It's a resort town.
- It's the same kind of,
we weren't related to everyone,
but it's the exact same town.
- Started feeling really small.
And so then we ended up,
I ended up like overnight moving to LA.
- Well, you had talked to
someone and you had an apartment.
- It was like 48 hours.
- No, but you had an apartment lined up.
You were ready to move in with
someone, or ready to move,
one of your friends.
- I had a job
and an apartment and then I
was right outside of Vegas,
on my way back to LA, but I made it happen
in like, it was like four days.
And I was on my way back to LA,
and the phone rings,
and it's the apartment
and they're like, sorry it fell through.
And the job fell through, too.
It was like, oh no.
This all happened on the drive.
And immediately after I
hung up with the people
telling me that my apartment
had fallen through,
another blocked number called me
and I'd never normally answer them,
but something in me was like,
answer that blocked number.
And I did, and it was my old landlord,
from when I lived in LA
in the little bungalows.
- And you had called them the week before.
- And I totally forgot
that I had called them,
and he said a one bedroom had opened up
and it was like 1200,
which seems so insane now,
because one bedrooms in LA are like 1800.
- 2000.
- Yeah and that wasn't even that long ago.
- And they just wanted to offer it to you
before it went on the
market because you had been
a good tenant.
And they probably
- [Both] Still felt bad.
- About the Dagmar incident.
- Oliver Stone.
- Yeah, and I was like, yeah I'll take it.
I don't even need to see it.
And so then I ended up coming back
and that was that and
I've been here ever since.
- Right, so then after
I had been in Park City
for almost a year, it was
slightly under a year.
I stayed there through the summer,
and then in September, I was like,
I called you I think I was crying.
I was like, I don't know what to do now.
- I'm like, come to LA!
- You're like, come to
LA, we'll figure it out.
I was like, okay.
So I packed up my car and I drove to LA.
- You were kinda like,
I don't know, it's hot.
I hate the heat.
- Was like, uh, LA is not really my style.
- Yeah, it's not Maggie's
style at all, by the way.
Maggie likes winter and quiet.
- Yeah, I like, the incessant sun in LA
just drives me crazy.
But it is an amazing place,
I never thought I'd like it
as much, but I don't think
I would've liked it as much
if I hadn't landed in Santa Monica.
- Well, then we lived together.
- Right, I stayed in your one bedroom
for like a year and a half,
we shared that apartment.
- We were so-
- So broke.
- So 2008 hit, I was teaching private yoga
and hustling a million other jobs
and working with autistic kids,
because that was what I
was doing when I left LA
when I was young.
I got hooked into working
with kids with autism
by, it was like, an ad
I had seen somewhere.
They wanted creative
people instead of trained
behavioral therapists.
And I ended up being an aide
to these kids with autism
and for some reason, it's
just something that's
always come natural to me.
And so I was doing that again.
I was teaching theater to kids.
I was teaching yoga all over the place.
And when I first came to
LA, I was working in a bar.
That didn't work out very well,
for like six months I did it.
And then I woke up one
morning and I didn't remember
how I got home, and I was
like, I can't go back.
I've always been good at
pulling myself off the ledge,
even when I was using.
Although I'm very lucky.
I should be dead.
But there were those moments of clarity,
where I'm like, oh, I gotta dial it back.
And quit this job cause it's toxic.
So then, we were doing
all kinds of odd jobs.
What were you doing?
- I was, first I didn't wanna go back
to waitressing.
- Oh you didn't have a job.
- Well, I didn't wanna
go back to waitressing,
cause I'd been doing it for so long.
And I just finished in
Utah and I was like,
oh God I can't do waitressing.
- Were you waitressing in Utah?
- Yeah.
- Oh yeah.
- And then I became a personal
assistant for a while.
I was doing babysitting.
I was nannying.
But then finally, I was like,
I'm not making enough money
cause we were so broke, so
I went back to waitressing.
- 2008 hit, and I'm the first thing to go.
I'm disposable income.
Even now, if that happened now,
that would still be the case.
It was bad.
And mind you, I was still
in debt from Phetasy,
from driving around, and
those were adding up.
- You were missing payments and-
- I was still married, technically,
because I left, I thought when I left,
I was like, oh, I'm just gonna get,
we thought we'd get separated
and see how it went,
and maybe he would come
out or maybe I'd go home
or whatever, and we stayed married
because we were like, well let's
not get divorced right away
and maybe it will work out
and we'll miss each other
and whatever.
So I was still married.
I was drowning in debt, drowning.
And we had all these bills.
My car was about to get repoed.
I was like two or three, I
think it was three payments
behind on it, and-
- We were in this apartment.
It was basically empty.
I was on a blow up
mattress in the bedroom,
and you were on futon in the living room.
And the blow up mattress
I was on started to leak.
- It was some dark times.
- And we couldn't afford
a new blow up mattress.
- [Both] We couldn't afford shampoo.
- We got our shampoo at the Dollar Store,
which I do not recommend.
It was horrible shampoo.
And we'd have, like, we'd call them
the days of soup and toast.
We'd have soup and toast for dinner.
- Maggie and I did the
Master Cleanse for two weeks
because we couldn't afford food
and we were like, oh
we'll just do the cleanse.
- Do the cleanse.
- And it was two weeks.
Yeah.
- It was actually pretty good.
But you-
- It's good to know
you can go two weeks without
food if you have enough
molasses and lemons around, and water.
- You were going on dates to get meals.
- Oh yeah, I was.
- You were on sugardaddy.com.
- I was on sugardaddy.com going on dates,
bringing home left overs for Maggie.
Like here's some filet for us.
- You were telling one of
your dates, you were like,
yeah Maggie and I are about
to sit down and have dinner.
He was like, oh what are you having?
You were like, soup and toast.
That was how it got branded
the days of soup and toast.
He was like, that's not a meal.
- He's like what is this,
the great depression?
But it really was for most
of us who weren't in the 1%.
- Right.
- Those were very tough times.
Massive amounts of wealth got
wiped out of middle America.
And the rich just got richer.
But that's another topic for another day.
I was the one, remember how I was like,
there's gonna be a crash?
- Yep.
- And I predicted it.
And I wrote a fricken blog.
Cause I was still
writing on Phetasy every,
all these stories.
- It was like
your online journal.
You were just writing.
- And I was like, oh when the
money men start freaking out,
because a lot of my
clients were in finance,
and they started freaking out
and tightening their belts
and telling me, like,
oh things aren't good.
And I was like, when the
money men start freaking out,
like you know.
- It was like two months before the crash.
- Yeah, and there was a column I wrote
and then I put a picture of a
guy jumping out of a window.
(both laugh)
- It was like an ad.
- And Phetasy crashed.
- And that one column disappeared
off of Phetasy.
- I'm sure it's
a weird coincidence.
But the whole website, I
went to go to the website
one day and it was empty.
- It was gone.
- Like, the whole thing.
Everything has been deleted.
- They restored it, our guys restored it,
but they couldn't restore that article.
That article had vanished.
- We could never find it
anywhere, and I could never even find it
on my hard drive.
I still to this day
can't find that article.
- So, we have some conspiracy theories
about that one.
- I don't know.
It is weird.
That was a weird one.
I was like, when the money
men start freaking out,
you better watch it, and
then the market crashed.
And I lost all my clients.
It was the days of soup and toast.
- We couldn't afford a
tea pot because that was,
became our symbol of prosperity,
was finally being able to get a tea pot.
- Which looking back was really dumb, too.
Because I wonder how much money we wasted
just like, even like a toaster oven.
We used to burn toast,
for the soup and toast,
we didn't even have a toaster oven.
- So we'd use the broiler.
- And then we'd burn it.
And how much gas bill did I
pay, just making fricken toast?
- Oh, yes.
- It wasn't exact-,
that was when, too, we went to the Costco.
The Costco trip.
- Oh, God.
So for some reason,
Bridget and I are idiots
and decided-
- We called ourself, and
you can't say this anymore.
- I don't think so.
- Maggie's nodding her head.
- Shaking her head.
I'm like, no.
- Shaking her head.
- I'm gonna have to
edit it out anyway.
- R-tards Galore.
(both laugh)
Maggie's more politically
correct than I am.
But you can't say this
anymore, and I understand why,
but back in 2007, it was still
a mildly acceptable term.
Maybe not.
- Because we're from the east coast
where it's still thrown
around pretty regularly.
- Loose and furiously.
And it's kind of a term of endearment.
So we would always joke
about how we're just idiots
and we would date anything
and like, we made these
really just basic mistakes
and we still continue to, and-
- So we went, we decided
what we really needed
was to get Phetasy going again,
and what we really needed
to do, in order to make
that happen was we needed-
- Spend more money.
- A ton of office supplies,
because that was what
was holding us back.
- And I had like $700 worth of credit
on my credit card.
- Left.
So we went to Costco.
- And I was like, you
know what let it ride.
- Two shopping carts
worth of office supplies
to get organized and organize
the files and all of it.
And that, just to max out
Bridget's credit card completely.
- Looking back.
- And we go to check out and find out
you can only use an Amex, if
you wanna use a credit card,
you can only use an Amex in Costco.
- How have I lived this long?
I'm an idiot.
- So we are like sitting
there trying to figure,
cause we know, if you, if
Bridget applies for an Amex
right now, she's not getting one.
(both laugh)
- Why didn't you apply?
- I think I, I was badly in debt, too.
My credit was shot.
And then we had to abandon
two carts full of stuff
in Costco.
- Oh my god.
- And walk away.
- It was mortifying.
- But we're idiots.
What were we doing?
- I don't know.
Maggie and I are delusional, by the way.
We've had a lot of delusions
of grandeur over the years.
And some of them have come true.
Not all of them, but you know,
and I do say this a lot,
the difference between
delusions and dreams
is hard work and luck.
And like, yeah.
I think sometimes you can have an idea
of what you, where you wanna go,
but it might take 11 years to get there
instead of 11 months.
- Right, which we kind of
thought was how it was gonna be.
- Yeah.
And so then, we somehow
made it through the days
of soup and toast.
- Yep, and then we
stayed in that apartment
for like a year and a half.
And then the two bedroom apartment
in our same building opened up.
- We slowly started upgrading.
- Right, and we moved into that.
- Things started getting better.
- Yep.
- I still don't really
know what I was doing
all those years.
- It's a little unclear.
(both laugh)
- I was hustling.
Teaching a lot of yoga.
I was in amazing shape.
- You were waitressing.
At certain points.
- Yep, yep.
On and off waitressing.
Yoga.
- You were doing other things, I don't,
I'm trying to remember what
the hell you were doing.
- Aide to kids.
It was the same.
- That's right, that's right.
- Who fucking knows.
- Then one of the studio
apartments opened up
in the building, and I moved up there
and you kept the two bedroom.
And then you started-
- Well, because I realized
I couldn't be a sugar baby.
That was what happened during
the days of soup and toast.
Like I went on some dates.
I was kind of, like,
dipping my toe in the water.
I'm like, can I do this?
Cause I knew, I know women in LA who do,
and it looks amazing.
They've got apartments and
cars and all kinds of shit.
- You just could never be
at someone's beck and call.
- No, and I also really,
I can't dial it in.
I can't like be attracted to somebody
I'm not attracted to.
- And fake it.
- Yeah, I'm just, I can't do it, I can't.
I wish I could, I'd be so rich.
- So then you went traveling
again, for like two years.
- Oh, I got my heart broken.
- That's right.
You got your heart broken
and you started doing
couchsurfer.com and like had
people come and stay with you.
And that's how you met Luna.
- Well, yeah.
And then Luna's-
- You wanted to build up
credit on your couch surfers.
- Luna's my friend who's currently
staying with me right now.
And we've become like
sisters from another mister
and I've gone and stayed
with her in London
and she's come here.
- And she and I watched
Prince William's wedding
when she was here and you were gone.
- Luna's like family now.
- Yeah, she stayed
- You'll probably
- In your apartment
- we'll probably
- For like a month.
- We'll broken do a podcast with Luna.
And then we ended up, I then I went up
to work on a farm that,
it's another long story.
We should save those for another day.
But long story longer,
we ended, what led to,
so years go by basically.
Phetasy's just like,
- Your online blog.
- Yeah, but it, I'm not
really even on it anymore.
I mean, I can't even post on it because-
- Because it was so old.
- It was so old and then my web designer
moved to Puerto Rico.
- And you didn't have
any money to upgrade it
or do anything, you're like
I'm not putting any more money
into Phetasy until I have a business plan.
- Yeah, and then I ended up going back
to the farm last year and
it was on my birthday.
I woke up, and Phetasy would kinda pop
in and out of existence.
Sometimes we'd go and she'd be there.
- Up and then sometimes-
- She'd be gone, and
then she'd pop back up.
And I was still paying
for her to be hosted,
so I at least wanted it.
And then one day, I went,
last year, a year ago
almost exactly, and she was gone.
Like completely gone.
Not even on the back end.
Gone.
It was like the server is gone.
And I emailed my freaking web designer
who skipped the country
and went to Puerto Rico.
And he's like, oh yeah,
the server disbanded
and moved to France.
I was like, what, servers can do that?
My whole website's gone.
- Right.
- And there was nothing
he could really do.
And so over night, it was
like, all things must die.
- 10 years of work and writing was gone.
- Gone.
And I had to, like, not
have a nervous breakdown
on this farm because I, it was,
I had kinda gotten used
to it, with Phetasy,
popping in and out of existence.
- She scared you a lot over the years,
of disappearing.
- She'd given me
enough of a run.
She would run away a lot,
but she always came back.
- And this time, she was permanently just
- [Both] Gone.
- It was kinda traumatic.
And I remember sitting by the fire,
the wood fire up there,
and just being like,
in shock, like somebody died.
And everyone was like, are you okay?
I'm like, my website.
Phetasy is dead-asy.
We always used to joke,
Phetasy isn't dead-asy.
But that day, Phetasy was dead-asy.
- Phetasy died.
- And I had started, I
had Patreon at this point
because I started that in London,
which is another whole story,
when I thought I'd lost my job at Playboy
because my editor got
fired and then I panicked
and started a Patreon, essentially.
And I had a Patreon for
like a year and a half.
At that point.
I don't even think, yeah,
it was a year and a half.
And so-
- So Patreon kinda became-
- Phetasy.
- Phetasy after-
- And Patreon was what
Phetasy was supposed to be.
A subscriber service with different levels
and different things that you can offer.
And now, here we are.
- Yep.
- Sitting here telling
you guys these stories
of how, so I will re-
- Boot.
- Boot Phetasy someday.
- We are making plans
to bring Phetasy back
into the world.
- I loved her so much.
I still miss being able to go there.
And you know honestly, it's probably good
that she's gone.
Because I didn't have, it was hundreds,
you know, Malcolm
Gladwell has a whole idea.
Is it Malcolm Gladwell,
that's got the 10000 hours?
That's when people ask me where I learned
how to write, it was there.
It was 10000 hours of writing, easily.
- Easily.
- Of, like hundreds and hundreds of pages
of material of me just
writing about life for years.
For like a decade.
That's where I wrote.
And then overnight, it all vanished.
- Clean slate.
- Clean slate.
And probably good, though
because at this point, too,
my Twitter was starting to
get a little more active.
And you know, God-
- God only knows what was
on the site at that point.
- I'm so grateful that
it's gone now, actually.
It kind of is, I'm sure, as
was my tattoo not happening,
I'm sure Phetasy disappearing
right when she did
was a huge blessing in disguise
that I don't really know
what the purpose was for.
- But you trust in that kind of-
- I do.
I trust in it.
And it will be back.
And you know, as you can
maybe tell from this story,
I am like a dog with a fricken bone
when it comes to chasing my dreams
and especially Phetasy
because she's designed,
I mean, in the spirit of a crop circle.
But looks like a bullseye.
And for me, and Maggie, we've always said
all roads lead to Phetasy.
So everything I do is
really just in attempt
to get that brand back up and running.
- Right, and following
through on all the stuff
we always wanted to make.
- Creating cards and t-shirts.
- We just wanna make stuff.
Shorts, like whatever.
- Sketches.
The only reason I'm doing any of this
is cause I just, people
are like, what drives you?
I'm like, I just wanna make stuff.
- Right, and we only, we make
stuff that makes us laugh.
- And that's it.
I just wanna make stuff
that kind of pokes,
you know, makes like the Make
Brad Pitt Great Again hat,
it's just something that's
poking fun at a symbol.
You know, I wanna make,
I just wanna be a little,
Phetasy was always trolling
people in real life.
My first t-shirt said Are
You That Fucking Cool?
And I used to wear it in Williamsburg
and make everybody angry.
- People would be so mad at that t-shirt.
- Oh, god especially in Williamsburg.
- It was 10 years before it's time,
because now people would be
like, where could I get that?
- Every time I wear it in
Venice, everyone's like
where did you get that shirt?
So yeah, it's the time of Phetasy.
Is now.
- This is the dawning of the age-
- Yeah, you'll hear a lot more stories.
But that's the, that's the
origin story of Phetasy.
- That's the start of this journey
that we've been on now for-
- A long time.
- Long time, yep.
Maggie was my first editor.
And then first thing I ever
really wrote that I was like,
I'm gonna write this, is
like, a piece of erotica.
- Right, and you were like,
wow, you're really good at this,
and I was like, huh.
I didn't know that.
- And now we're making podcasts together.
So that's really all I
wanna do is like make stuff.
The only goal has ever
been to build something
that I can make stuff with.
- And make people, hopefully
make some people laugh with it.
- And inspire people.
- And piss some people
off along the way, too.
Of course, that's just inevitable.
- Well, (mumbles) Jesus.
- That's just inevitable.
- Someone's gonna get
mad at me saying R-tard.
(both laugh)
- The look on your face.
- I mean, it's just such a
great and unfortunate thing.
- Well, so that is, that's
actually a good place
to stop, we're about at an hour.
- Perfect.
- Good place to stop
for the first story hour
with Bridget.
And as you can tell, Bridget's stories
are crazy, there is, I can vouch for them
all being true.
And there's like a million more like this.
Like this is only the very smallest sliver
of what her life has been.
- And all the stories within this story
that I can't tell yet.
- Yes, and but this is like-
- Maggie has permission to tell them
when I'm dead, though.
- The smallest sliver of your stories.
So,
- And yours.
- We'll get to those.
We'll get to those piece by piece.
- And I wanna hear from you guys.
If you have questions.
Let me know, let us know.
We wanna hear you know, if you're like,
what blah blah blah.
I can't promise that I'm gonna answer them
if it's something that I
don't wanna talk about,
but I do, I do, like send us questions.
If you have questions about anything,
whether it's any of my guests,
whether it's life, whether
it's any of my story, send me.
I know a lot of people
have been asking me,
who are you and what are you doing?
So I thought it would
be a good place to start
with the origin of Phetasy
and the name and the word.
- And the brand.
- And the brand.
- Yeah.
- Now go spread this.
- Spread the word.
- Far and wide.
The word of Phetasy.
I am the daughter of God.
(both laugh)
I start my cult today.
- And we're done here.
- Just a reminder.
Our sponsor this week is Follain.
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Go to follain.com/walkin to try the kit,
and enter walkin at check
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That's spelled
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with free shipping.
Tune in next week for
another riveting episode
that will change your
life, help you get out of
your own way, and solve
all the world's problems.
I wanna thank Ricochet, my
co-producer and cousin Maggie,
and all of you out there listening.
This has been Walk-Ins
Welcome with Bridget Phetasy.
I'm Bridget Phetasy.
And you're welcome.
(laughing)
(upbeat music)
That's the dumbest line.
(air whooshing)
(arrow hitting target)
