Oh, it's good that you're here, Marcin! 
Please help me
What's going on?
I'm solving a crossword and I have a problem
Then stop solving it - and you won't have a problem
Epic! But you know what - I've already started
and this is an ambitious issue at the moment
Look: Creator of "The Giaour" for 5 letters
Byron
I tried. It does not fit in
Write Byron. BYRON
Byron...
You're good!
How about this one:
He formulated Thales Theorem.
Pythagoras?
Tales
Tales Theorem by Tales?
Doesn't make sense
...but it fits. Then let's try that one:
The third part of the Beethoven sonata
Skerzo
I'll type Scherzo with CH
and we'll see what happens
It fits!
Luckily, seventeen years of music education 
was not in vain
Well, with such knowledge, you could run a 
music education program on the Internet
You think?
Really...?
MoCarteum
Dear Internet users!
Dear Music Lovers!
Welcome to the next lecture of our 
Online Appreciate Music Academy
MoCarteum
The lecture will be given by 
a popular 
Polish string quartet
for 11 letters
Mozart Group?
Yes!
- Yes!
And the Morning Voice of 
the Third Program of Polish Radio
For 18 letters
There are 8 letters in the word "Łukawski"
Yes, but I meant the word "assistant professor"
Assistant professor Marcin Łukawski
I would like to say hello
but you didn't play the jingle...
Because...
we are waiting for Filip to count the letters
in the word "assistant professor" - and we can begin
Eighteen!
Welcome!
Dear students, we have prepared for you today
a fantastic lecture entitled:
"Halftone or Details in Music"
but unfortunately...
What happened?
"MoCarteum" is the program
subsidized by the Ministry of Culture
and it looks like we just got a letter...
...from the Ministry...
With congratulations?
- No
With a competency test
Oh...
Each of us will have to
answer a few questions
the goal is to verify our musical knowledge
Who starts?
Can you hear me?
Yes
Correct!
How many people play in a string quartet?
What's my error limit?
One person
Three to five people play in the quartet
Correct!
In what city was one of the three Viennese classics
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart born?
OK...
This is a tricky question...
Viennese classics...
that means, not in Vienna
or in Vienna?
A friend...
Okay, my answer is:
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
was born in Wieliczka
Come on! In Salzburg
That's what I said
I just translated it to make it easier for you!
Salz - salt
Burg - city
Salzburg - Wieliczka
Correct!
Category: study of instruments
O sole mio!
Don't you have sport?
Well, unfortunately not
But if you don't like study of instruments, 
so maybe the automotive industry
Better! Much better!
- Okay
Can the double bass be carried in Fiat 126?
Yes.
- Very good!
But you, it seems, asked for the "sport" category
so, I have one extra question for you
Oh no... No need... Really, please...
- But I found it specially for you!
Please don't bother
- Please listen!
Krystian Zimerman is the winner of the first prize 
in the ninth International Chopin Piano Competition
which took place in 1975
Exactly when 84 participants attended
from 22 countries.
- Exactly then
And 10 years earlier, if I remember correctly,
Martha Argerich won
Yes, in 1965
There were 76 participants then
from 30 countries
And the question is...
What question?
I've already answered the question!
Another question?
The question is:
Please provide the time in which
Krystian Zimerman performed the "Minute Waltz"
In one minute
...and 48 seconds
Very good!
And what is the world record?
World record - I will tell you... World record:
1 minute and 34 and 5/10 seconds
set 30 years later
by Mr. Rafał Blechacz
That's it!
And do you know that supposedly 
Soviet pianists in the 1980s
were able to play "Minute Waltz" 
in less than 90 seconds?
But without tempo rubato...
No, it doesn't count
No tempo rubato, meaning without the slow parts
Well, back then the fair play committee
didn't acknowledge it, indeed
You know
that I can perform a "minute waltz"
in 2 minutes?
Wow!
This is a great result!
Mhm... Faster than the Mozart Group!
Perhaps you would like
to see it?
- No, no, no! Thank you! Thank you...
Let's listen to the Mozart Group
Here is the leisurely "minute waltz"
of course - a part of it
STOP!
Listen, today we played four bars more than yesterday!
So, it's faster!
Championship!
Fryderyk Chopin named his D-flat major waltz
„Minute” - so "minor"
Today's common name "Minute"
is therefore the result of a misunderstanding -
malentendu
I'm sorry but
uncle google translates the word "minute"
as "a minute"
Minor is "petit"
When did you check it?
Today
Apparently, in Chopin's time, 
Google translated differently
"Pictures at an Exhibition" is a work 
by Modest Mussorgsky composed for piano
Right
The orchestral version of "Pictures from the exhibition"
is very well known
Who orchestrated Mussorgsky's composition?
This...
I know...
Maurice Ravel. The one who created "Bolero"
Correct!
"Bolero" lasts 16 minutes and a half
There was no question about it but I know, so I'll tell you
The next question is related to the musical example
What was the name of the woman 
for whom
Beethoven wrote "For Elise"?
Beethoven wrote "For Elise"
for Therese.
- Good!
Therese Mulfatti von Rohrenbach -
daughter of a Viennese doctor, 
who treaded sickly Ludwig
And the title "For Elise" was given 55 years later by Ludwik Nohl, the publisher
and Therese married someone else
That's not good
In what city did the US citizen George Gershwin
compose the song "An American in Paris"?
In Vienna?
Correct!
Next category: instrumental music with voices
There is such music. Opera, for example
Please name the regular parts of the holy mass
Kyrie, gloria, credo, sanctus, benedictus, Agnus Dei
A piece of cake
Well, we've answered all the questions
I'm sending them to the Ministry 
and let's wait for a reply
Who of you had a question about George Gershwin?
- I
Then go ahead
What?
Aha!
While waiting for the verdict
let's listen to George Gershwin's „I got rhythm”
performed by the Mozart Group
Oh, and? Has the Ministry sent a reply already?
- Yes!
Let me read it
to the accompaniment of fanfare.
- Is it that good?
"After receiving the completed test, 
I state that the lecturers
at the Online Appreciate Music Academy
are sufficiently qualified
to conduct this activity "
Yes!
"At the same time, 
assistant professor Łukawski is asked
to limit playing the flute to
the necessary minimum"
I suppose I can play the fanfare
- Sure!
Time for today's lecture:
"Halftone, or Details in Music"
But the time is up...
What do you mean it's up? 
We haven't even started yet!
Even so, the time is up
We invite you to our next lecture in just a week
No... there will be no lecture next week
The subsidy is over
How come? After all, we have successfully 
passed the verification of the Ministry
And the subsidy is over
Dear Internet users...
No... but wait
We still have 16,80 zlotys -
this money is enough to stay for a while
and pay for the staff, light, room rental...
Dear Music Lovers!
We will play for you until the last zloty!
