PRESIDENT TRUMP, TOO, WHO 
MANAGED TO NOT BE THE LEAD STORY
FOR ONCE.
TRUMP HAS BEEN BUSY DEFENDING 
HIMSELF FROM THE FALLOUT OF TIM 
APPLEGATE.
DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS.
THERE WAS A BUSINESS LEADERS 
COMING TO THE WHITE HOUSE.
TRUMP REFERRED TO THE CEO OF 
APPLE AS TIM APPLE.
TIM HAD FUN WITH IT.
HE CHANGED HIS TWITTER HANDLE TO
TIM APPLE.
TRUMP DIDN'T LIKE IT.
HE SAID HE TOLD REPUBLICAN 
DONORS OVER THE WEEKEND HE SAID 
TIM COOK APPLE BUT THE WORD COOK
WENT BY SO FAST NOBODY NOTICED.
MAYBE IT DID GO BACK FAST.
LET'S LOOK AT THAT AGAIN.
>> YOU'VE REALLY PUT A BIG 
INVESTMENT IN OUR COUNTRY.
WE APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH TIM 
APPLE.
>> Jimmy: GUILLERMO, DID YOU 
HEAR THE WORD APPLE?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: WE'LL SLOW IT DOWN AND
WATCH IT DONE.
T
T
. 
>> TIM APPLE.
>> Jimmy: CLEARLY HE'S NOT 
TELLING THE TRUTH, BUT HERE'S 
THE THING.
OF ALL THE SERIOUS SUBJECTS THE 
PRESIDENT HAS LIED ABOUT, NO ONE
WOULD HAVE CARED ABOUT THIS.
HE MISSPOKE.
PEOPLE DO IT ALL THE -- IT'S NOT
LIKE HE CALLED HIM TIM 
KARDASHIAN.
HE SAID TIM APPLE.
HE LIES IN THE SAME WAY A 
FOUR-YEAR-OLD COMES OUT IN W HIS
FACE COVERED ON MAGIC MARKER AND
THEY GO NO.
ONE PERSON AT MAR-A-LAGO SIDE HE
WAS SURPRISED.
HE SAID IT DOESN'T MATTER.
IT'S BECAUSE HE LIES ABOUT 
EVERYTHING, SO STOP GIVING HIM 
MONEY.
BUT THE PRESIDENT IS NOT ONE TO 
GIVE UP A DUMB FIGHT.
THIS MORNING HE OFFERED YET 
ANOTHER VERSION OF HIS TIM APPLE
STORY.
HE WROTE AT A RECENT ROUND TABLE
MEETING OF BUSINESS EXECUTIVES 
AND LONG AFTER FORMALLY 
INTRODUCING TIM COOK OF APPLE I 
QUICKLY REFERRED TO TIM PLUS 
APPLE AS TIM APPLE AS AN EASY 
WAY TO SAVE TIME AND WORDS.
AND AS WE ALL KNOW FROM HIS 
TWO-HOUR SPEECHES THE PRESIDENT 
HATES TO WASTE TIME WITH WORDS.
HOW CAN ANYONE HAVE SUCH THIN 
SKIN?
COULD THERE BE A CHEMICAL IN THE
SELF-TANNER HE'S USING IN WOULD 
SOMEONE PLEASE CHECK THE TUBE OF
BANANA BOAT TANNING LOTION?
THE PRESIDENT MIGHT HAVE TO 
EXPLAIN THIS ONE.
THIS IS A SELFIE TAKEN AT 
TRUMP'S SUPER BOWL PARTY.
THE WOMAN IN THE FRONT IS THE 
ORIGINAL OWNER OF THE DAY SPA IN
FLORIDA WITH PATRIOT'S OWNER BOB
KRAFT SCORED HIS TWO HANDED 
TOUCHDOWN.
SHE'S A TRUMP DONOR AND POSTED 
THE CAPTION WE LOVE OUR 
PRESIDENT.
TWO WEEKS AFTER THE OWNER OF THE
PATRIOTS WERE AT THE SPA, SHE'S 
AT MAR-A-LAGO.
SHE DOESN'T OWN THE SPA ANY 
LONGER.
SHE NOW RUNS A CONSULTANTING 
BUSINESS THAT REPORTED OFFERS TO
CONNECT CHINESE INVESTORS WITH 
TRUMP'S INNER CIRCLE.
HERE'S ANOTHER PHOTO.
THIS ONE IS SIGNED.
AND TO ME, THE AMAZING THING, 
IT'S NOT THAT TRUMP IS SOMEHOW 
CONNECTED TO THIS WOMAN.
THAT WAS 100%.
TO ME THE AMAZING THING IS SHE'S
NOT A PART OF HIS 
ADMINISTRATION.
I MEAN, HERE SHE IS WITH D.J. 
T.J.
HERE SHE IS WITH ERIC TRUMP.
DAD, I MET A NICE LADY, I NEED 
TO BORROW 40.
MEANWHILE THE PRESIDENT SPOKE TO
THE MEDIA FROM THE WHITE HOUSE 
LAWN, AND WATCH THIS.
AND THEN AFTER SPEAKING TO THEM,
HE WANDERED AWAY AS HE WAITED 
FOR MELANIA.
AND THERE HE IS.
ME ANDER AND CHIEF JUST KIND OF 
ALL ALONE ON THE LAWN.
SO THEN TRUMP FLEW TO ALABAMA TO
VISIT THOSE AFFECTED BY THE 
TORNADO, AND WHILE HE WAS THERE,
HE WAS AT A BAPTIST CHURCH.
HE SIGNED COPIES OF THE BIBLE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
HE SIGNED THE HOLY BIBLE RIGHT 
ON THE COVER, TOO.
HOW MUCH OF A GOD COMPLEX DO YOU
HAVE TO HAVE TO AUTOGRAPH THE 
BIBLE?
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I MEAN, HOW LONG UNTIL
HE JUST ADDS HIS NAME TO THE 
BOTTOM OF THE DECLARATION OF 
INDEPENDENCE?
TRUMP THINKS THE KING JAME
