I remember when I was about 9 years old, learning
any subject that came my way eagerly in elementary
school and one day we took a look at birds.
Like many of my classmates I was shocked to
hear how some birds would forcefully push
their baby birds out of their nest, so they
would learn to fly.
They would either get the hang of it while
falling through the air or they would hit
the ground.
I did not know just how similar my fate would
be, but unlike mine, most of my classmates'
lives would be very different.
Their parents would buy them all they wanted,
take care of them from head to toe.
They would buy them the newest gameboy and
pokemon cards.
In return, these kids would yell at them,
whenever they didn't get their way.
The birthday gift they wanted wasn't the right
color or perhaps it didn't have enough memory
space.
Their parents would drive them to school a
few blocks away, give them a kiss, hug them
and wave.
Meanwhile, here was I. I wished someone had
cared for me at all, my reality was so far
away from even resembling the ones of my peers.
My training began early.
I had to learn to fly, before I hit the ground.
It wasn't pretty and it wasn't fun, to be
frank, it was brutal, but while I've gotten
used to facing the worst life has to offer,
none of these spoiled kids I went to school
with turned out great.
They're the complete opposite of self-reliant...
and even if I don't look back with a smile,
I've got atleast that going for me.
Guys, I'm not hoping for empathy here.
The last thing I care about is someone feeling
sorry for me.
That wouldn't change anything.
What I do care about is offering you my perspective,
hoping it proves valuable to you, whichever
side of the story you personally see yourself.
I don't know you and I won't judge you, but
my reality is very simple.
You're either pushed out of your nest forcefully,
like I was, or you have to jump on your own.
I'm sure it's really comfortable up there,
I have no idea, but unless you strive for
independence, you will never fulfill your
true potential.
You will never really be able to survive on
your own and sooner or later life will push
you into the abyss and then you'll regret
not having taken action initially, on your
own terms, but enough with the metaphors.
Self Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson is a
short, potentially life-changing pamphlet.
Emerson introduces the essay with a latin
phrase.
"Ne te quaesiveris extra" (Ne te quäsiveris
extra) meaning - "Do not seek outside yourself"
/ "Look within."
The ulimate form of self-mastery lies in searching
for answers on your own, relying on nothing
external.
You think for yourself rather than sheepishly
accepting other people's ideas.
You value your individual experience over
the knowledge gained from everything else.
That's why reading isn't enough, you must
apply what makes sense to you and learn from
it first-hand.
You value personal intuition, because you
know, relying on general opinions, you would
end up a frail, inept copy with no real self-worth.
You know, the lack of conviction would not
result in innovative ideas, but in accepting
what you've been taught and identifying with
it as a whole.
In other words, you inevitably end up believing
the nonsense of others.
Their ignorance spreads over to you, if you
don't make up your own mind.
Idealy you form your opinion on lots of research
from reliable sources, sticking to facts,
logic and persuasive arguments.
You're a unique, authentic individual who
trusts his gut and understands the profound
power of a built-in, bold and robust creative
force.
You understand that staying true to yourself,
doing what you think is right, is a necessity
for true happiness.
You value authenticity and defend your stance
in a world of mediocrity, in order to keep
ahead.
Great.
Now, let's dive deeper.
1.
Assume responsibility
Taking responsibility gives you a sense of
empowerment.
The confidence that you are capable of shaping
yourself, your life and the people close to
you in your and their favor.
Even when you're dealing with things outside
your control, you trust in your faculties,
you just know, whatever life throws at you,
you're prepared and you're going to figure
something out.
See, when you fault someone else, you reject
owning up to the situation, you expect someone
else, who probably couldn't care less and
is faulting you, to solve the problem.
Most of the times they won't, because they
don't assume responsibility, and that makes
them a weak-minded person.
So, to me, what you have to do is pretty obvious.
Embrace accountablity, especially when you
think of yourself as a leader.
Self-reliance, taking full ownership, leading
by example is the only way to true leadership.
Don't confuse management with leading.
Having authority based on hierarchy doesn't
make you a leader.
When you're ahead of everyone and people are
looking up to you, you take the blame, when
things go wrong, you don't fingerpoint.
Maybe Greg, the intern, is at fault for not
doing his job right, but maybe you didn't
do a good enough job explaining it to him
and when you assume the latter.
You focus on improving yourself, while being
overly fair with Greg.
Now, Greg sees and appreciates that.
You didn't yell at him like an asshole, you
treated him like a human being.
Now, he's going to model you.
Instead of thinking you didn't explain it
to him well enough, he might think he didn't
listen closely and he'll will pay extra attention
it doesn't happen again in the future.
This is not rocket surgery, yet every company
I've worked for is full of so-called professionals
who don't get this.
They're not in the leadership business, they're
in the do-this-because-I-told-you-business
and they will suffer, because of it.
And you might be thinking, well, that's not
me, I'm not in a leadership a position.
Yes, you are.
All of us absolutely have to become great
leaders in order to succeed and it starts
with taking responsibility.
It's just a matter of stepping up.
2.
Be informed
Know your environment.
Once you call the battlefield your home, you've
gained a decisive advantage over the enemy.
Whatever playground you're in, there are rules,
there's a limited amount of resources, there's
behaviour that leads to success and there's
behaviour that leads to nowhere.
The more you know, the more considerate your
decision-making will be, because your personal
intuition is backed by data.
I think more people should trust their gut,
absolutely, but you need to have as much of
the facts as possible first.
Why do I value reading books so much?
It's incredible information, at your disposal
for the same price as a meal or two at a restaurant.
Many authors spent their whole life thinking,
researching, analyzing and reflecting on a
certain subject, then writing it all down
in a consumable, comprehensible way and you
can get that for 20 dollars.
Outstanding, I'm baffled people don't read
more and the ones who do...
Speaking of behaviour that leads to nowhere.
There's a scary amount of viewers who tell
me they read a book a day, or I don't know,
100 books every year.
First of all, their definition of reading
is quite interesting.
They don't understand the meaning of being
informed.
They don't get what it's about.
They're impressed by some Warren Buffet type
story, where he picks up a stack of paper
and says he read X amount of pages every day
of his life.
Then they try to emulate that.
They focus on quantity, not quality.
Instead of focusing on the content, they care
more about what page they're on.
I'm gonna make a bold statement here.
Information that you can't apply, information
that you don't have at your disposal when
you need it, is worthless.
Scanning through all the words in a book from
front to back without any thought doesn't
mean anything.
Even worse when you're skimming it.
Sure, you can say "you've read the book,"
but what's that worth?
You don't start with a library, you start
with a few books you're going to study profoundly.
In my opinion you're never done reading a
good quality book like the 48 Laws of Power,
you always go back to it, we're human, we
tend to forget.
Stop working out - you're losing muscle and
strength, same here.
How many times have you watched your favorite
movie?
Every time I watch Fight Club I refresh my
memory and I notice something new, I overlooked
before.
Same here.
But if you only buy no-name BS from your local
book store without any research on the author,
then I'm not surprised you don't want to read
it a second time.
You want quality information.
Books, among other products and services,
are a great source, but like I said, being
self-reliant, "You value your individual experience
over the knowledge gained from everything
else."
3.
Know where you're going
You set goals for yourself.
This is very important, you are pursuing your
own objectives, not the ones your parents,
your peers and the school system wants to
pressure onto you.
Since you're autonomous you don't rely on
the validation of others on the decisions
you make.
And you think of a goal as a metaphor for
one of the many destinations you will want
to reach on your life's path.
This is essential, because in order to come
up with a gameplan you got to have the ending
in mind.
So, you determine the various tasks that you
will do today, tomorrow, throughout the week
and the one after, considering how those tasks
will help you progress.
Every few steps of the way you take a bit
of time and reflect on how far you've come,
how effective you've been and if you need
to adjust your plan a little to push through
barriers.
Only a bad plan can't be changed.
Further moar know how to set SMART goals.
S-M-A-R-T.
How you phrase your goals and what wording
you use is very important in pursuing them
successfully.
Specific: What exactly do you want to accomplish?
e.g. I want to reach an audience of 100'000
subscribers on YouTube.
Measurable: How will you evaluate the extent
to which the goal has been met?
Obviously, I reached the goal once I have
100'000 subscribers.
That's a number, so I can measure it easily.
Just like "I want to lose 20 pounds" or "I
want run 5 miles every morning."
However, if my goal was, say, to "become a
better boyfriend."
That would be too vague.
It's not nearly specific enough and it's not
measurable.
But if we said "I want to spend 2 days of
the week having fun with my girlfriend, even
though I'm busy studying for my exams."
Then that's measurable.
Achievable: Is it even possible?
Can you even reach your goal?
Unlike, "I want to achieve my (so-called)
father's approval."
That's not only impossible, it's also meaningless
and I realized that at the age of 12.
That's when I started to not care anymore
and saught only my own acknowledgement.
Not only was I harsh on myself and very critical
of my accomplishments and failures, since
I knew better than anybody else what I was
capable of, I was also fair and the only single
one, trustworthy judge to have the necessary
awareness to critisize myself.
Going back to this.
100'000 Subscribers is definitely achievable.
There's plenty evidence it can be done.
It's not like "I want to walk on the moon"
and even that could be done with some creativity,
if you ask me.
Relevant: Does it fit into the bigger picture?
Meaning, does reaching your goal help you
progress, get ahead with all your other objectives?
Well, the bigger picture for me, dear viewer,
is to do something that hasn't been done before,
atleast in the way, that I've thought hard
and long about.
A combination of v-log, documentary, podcast
that includes things I'm very passionate about
like history, travel, languages, food and
psychology.
These book summaries are step one.
A big step, but only a starting point when
I look at my blueprint for the things I want
to achieve in life.
We live once, so we might as well do our thing.
So, yes, it's very relevant to what I'm trying
to achieve in the grand scheme of things.
Time-bound: Basically, by when do you have
to achieve your goals, with what frequency,
in what time period?
By the end of this year, 31st of December
2016 I want to have atleast 100'000 subscribers.
Not only do I want to achieve this, but I
have to, because of outside pressure.
If this illacertus thing doesn't catch any
speed real soon, I would have to reconsider
my plan of making this work.
Time can be very cruel, but it can be your
best friend, too, as we've seen in my video
on Mastery, as we've seen when I put my word
on the line that I would finish the 48 laws
series by the end of January, which made me
work even harder.
I feel like I'm constantly on Deathground
and it's definitely got consequences on my
mood, social life and energy levels, but at
the same time that's why I'm so productive.
Speaking of time-bound.
I would rather condense a low intensity work
life with little pay into a few high intensity
years with the potential of substantial wealth.
Not so I could buy expensive and meaningless
material, but self-reliance.
When you depend on getting your next paycheck,
you live in constant fear and anxiety.
I want to get that part of my life handled
and I strongly believe, the right way to do
it, is working hard and smart in order to
provide value to you.
There you have it, you now know exactly how
to set smart goals for yourself.
I wonder why I've never learned this in school.
You're lucky if you have.
Lots of people fail, because they disregard
these 5 points when planning ahead.
That's not the case for you anymore.
You know precisely what you're trying to achieve.
4.
Make your own decisions
As I've alluded to earlier, you are the best
judge for what's the next, greatest possible
step to take in your life.
The self-reliant may ask for the opinion of
others every once in a while in order to consider
it, but generally they block out all the noise
and distractions, weigh the pros and cons,
assess and calculate the risk and then they
come up with their own conclusion.
They trust their gut, their own assessment
of the situation.
That gut feeling you have is an integrated
sixth sense.
Deep down in your heart you just know exactly
what the right thing to do is.
I've said this before, it doesn't really matter
what choice you make, because you don't make
the right or wrong choice.
You make A choice and then you make that choice
right.
You're the one setting up the options, because
you're self-reliant.
By that I mean, you might ask yourself, should
I try and become a professional snowboarder,
which I'd really really love to do or should
I become an author, which I really really
love, as well?
The answer might just be "I can combine both
of these things and write books about my journey,
documenting how I've become a pro snowboarder,
what it takes and what I've learned from my
failures and successes."
There you go, that's a book I would buy.
Especially since you're a master at your craft,
you've gained all the right experiences and
you know what you're talking about.
Notice how both of those options were something
our self-reliant example here is passionate
about.
He didn't ask himself whether he should go
to university and study law, because his mother
nags him about it.
He doesn't even consider that, since it's
the last thing he's interested in.
And look, this is just one example, you might
want to go study a subject for a few years.
Nothing wrong with that, especially when you
want to be a doctor or an architect.
Man, I would love to be an architect, but
I don't love it enough to sacrifice the time
and resources I would have to spend in order
to become one.
That's one of my personal decisions.
I'm not going that route, I understand, it's
not in my best interests, but that's me.
If you take anything away from this video,
let it be this.
You make A choice and then you make that choice
right.
If you decide you want to do study law and
become one of the best lawyers on earth, then
you got to go all in.
You will have to commit to the process and
that's that, you're in it now.
You're going to be the best lawyer this world
has ever seen and by god, if your mother isn't
proud of you then, she can do something else
with her opinion, you don't care for you know
yourself to the T and if defending the innocent
people of crimes they haven't committed is
your life goal, then may god help the ones
who doubt you, for you are going to prove
those non-believers wrong and the ones who
believe in you right.
But again, that does not really matter, their
talking only serves as supplementary motivation.
You'll show the world what you're made of.
Pure fucking solid gold.
I know some of you don't want me to swear,
but by Zeus, make way for the men and women
who take all of this to heart and set out
on their true path, regardless of what anybody
says or thinks.
Don't you stay in their way for you will hurt
yourself.
In closing, I was going to say, good luck,
but you don't rely on luck, you don't rely
on hope, or an unexplainable turn of events
that changes the game overnight.
You don't need luck.
You don't need anything for you already have
everything you require.
You know everything you need to know and if
you don't know, even though you do know, you
find out, so that you know, even though you
already knew.
Right?
Exactly.
And don't be too hard on yourself, learn from
failure.
The ones who never fail, never try.
"One must still have chaos in oneself to be
able to give birth to a dancing star."
- Friedrich Nietzsche
You want your life to be chaotic.
It wouldn't be as exciting otherwise.
Great, now let's recap.
1.
You assume responsibility.
2.
You inform yourself.
3.
You know where you're going.
You set S.M.A.R.T.
goals & pursue them.
4.
You make your own decisions.
As always thanks for watching and subscribe
for my upcoming synopsis on Extreme Ownership
- How Navy Seals Lead and Win for more information
on assuming responsibility and being a self-reliant
badass.
