>> ORDER!
>> WE MUST DECLARE OURSELVES AN
INDEPENDENT NATION.
>> AND FIGHT THE BRITISH ARMY?
WE CANNOT WIN.
>> GLORIOUS NEWS FROM BOSTON!
IT SEEMS THE NEW ENGLANDERS HAVE
WON AN ASTOUNDING VICTORY OVER
THE BRITISH AT A PLACE CALLED
BUNKER HILL.
[ GRUMBLING ]
>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IS IT NOT WELCOME NEWS?
>> NO, IT IS.
IT'S JUST THAT NOW WE HAVE TO
HEAR THE BOASTING FROM THE
PATRIOTS OF NEW ENGLAND.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS ARE
UNSTOPPABLE!
[ CHEERS ]
>> DO WE EVEN KNOW HOW TO LOSE?
>> NO.
>> DYNASTY, THAT'S THE WORD
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.
DYNASTY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S HOW WE DO IT IN
MASSACHUSETTS, KID.
>> AND CONNECTICUT WAS THERE
TOO.
>> YEAH, SURE, A BIT.
>> BUT WE'RE NUMBER ONE!
>> NUMBER ONE, KID.
>> I RECOGNIZE THAT NEW ENGLAND
WINS BATTLES, BUT MUST THEY BE
SO OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT?
>> DREADFULLY ANNOYING.
FRANKLY, I'M WILLING TO LOSE
THIS WHOLE YEAR OF WAR IF IT
MEANS NOT SEEING THEM WIN AGAIN.
>> NEW ENGLANDERS, ARE YOU
DRINKING BEER?
THIS IS NOT THE PUBLIC HOUSE?
>> NO KID, THIS IS COFFEE FROM
DUNKIN'.
THE BEST.
DUNKIN', THANKS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I SHOULD START CHARGING FOR
THIS.
>> I APPLAUD YOU NEW ENGLANDERS
ON YOUR MANY VICTORIES.
WHOBLAUGH!
>> MANY VICTORIES, TRY FIVE,
BOSS.
FIVE!
>> YEAH, WE WON THEM ALL.
THE FRENCH AND INDIAN WAR.
>> WON IT.
>> KING PHILLIPS' WAR.
>> KILLED IT.
>> LEXINGTON CONCORD.
>> CRUSHED IT.
AND NOW BUNKER HILL.
>> THE BEST ONE YET.
>> OH, OH, OH, TELL THEM THE
STORY.
>> OH, GOD, HERE WE GO.
>> IT WAS INSANE, BRO.
THE BRITISH GOT LIKE 50 SHIPS,
WE GOT PUSHED BACK WAY BEHIND
OUR LINE, LIKE 40 YARDS.
>> I SEE.
>> BUT OUR GUYS, CAPTAIN
THOMAS BRADY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE'S GOT LIKE THE BEST CANNON
AND BOOM, WE COME BACK LIKE WE
ALWAYS DO.
>> IT WAS WICKED SICK.
WICKED.
>> WONDERFUL AND ALWAYS LOVELY
TO HEAR ABOUT ANOTHER STORY
ABOUT THOMAS BRADY.
NOW --
>> THOMAS BRADY IS LIKE A
MACHINE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE'RE NEW ENGLAND!
>> WE EAT THE MOST LOBSTER.
>> AND WE GOT THE MOST ROCKS IN
OUR SOIL, SO HOW YOU LIKE US
NOW?
>> YES, WELL CONGRATULATIONS
AGAIN, BUT I'M SURE OTHERS WOULD
FIGHT JUST AS BRAVELY IF GIVEN
THE CHANCE.
>> YAY, WE WON.
[ CHEERING ]
>> I SEE, I SEE.
FROM PHILADELPHIA.
>> YEAH, HOW YOU DOING?
>> WE CROSSED MANY WATERS UP THE
SCHUYLKILL RIVER TO GIVE ALL
YOUS A MENTION.
PHILLY IS MAD STRONG FROM THE
LITTLE BABIES TO OUR MOM MOMS
AND POP POPS.
WE'RE READY TO FIGHT.
>> WITH A HOT HORSESHOE AT YOUR
HEAD AND SEND THE BRITISH --
>> SO GREASE UP THEM POLES,
CAUSE PHILLY'S GOING TO WIN,
AND THEN ONE OF THESE GUYS IS
GOING TO PUNCH A POLICE HORSE.
>> YEAH, WE'S ABINCH OF ROWDY
QUAKERS.
>> YOU'RE FROM PHILADELPHIA?
>> YEAH, WEST PHILADELPHIA BORN
AND RAISED.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> WELL, I ADMIRE YOUR SPIRIT,
PHILADELPHIA, BUT YOU DON'T
EXACTLY HAVE A HISTORY OF
WINNING BATTLES LIKE NEW ENGLAND
DOES.
>> YEAH, WELL THAT WAS THEN,
THIS IS NOW, RIGHT?
CALL US THE IGLES, CAUSE WE'RE
READY TO FLY.
>> FLY EAGLES FLY.
>> I'M SORRY, THE IGLES?
>> YEAH, AND LIKE IGLES, WE
PHILADEPHIANS ARE SWIFT, WE ARE
DEADLY, AND OUR EYES ARE A
LITTLE TOO CLOSE TOGETHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> AND WE GOT THE BEST FOOD.
>> YEAH.
VENISON HOAGIES, PORKCHOP
PEPPERS, AND CORN FRITTERS FROM
WAWA.
WAWA IS AN INDIAN LADY.
>> PHILADELPHIA, PLEASE, YOU GOT
NO CHANCE, KID.
>> YEAH, LET NEW ENGLAND HANDLE
THIS.
>> OH COME ON, NEW ENGLAND, GO
HOME.
>> YEAH, AND CAN I TELL YOU
SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR CAPTAIN
THOMAS BRADY?
HE'S OLD, OKAY?
HE IS LIKE 40, THAT'S FOUR YEARS
PAST LIFE EXPECTANCY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
>> PLEASE LISTEN, HUN.
BOSTON'S NOT EVEN A REAL CITY,
IT'S A COLLEGE TOWN WITH A
FISHING PIER, OKAY?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> OH YEAH, TALK TO US WHEN YOU
WHEN ONE, NUMB NUTS.
>> ORDER, ORDER!
PATRIOTS OF NEW ENGLAND, YOU
HAVE TRULY ACHIEVED REMARKABLE
SUCCESS, BUT I BELIEVE I SPEAK
FOR THIS ENTIRE CHAMBER WHEN I
SAY SHUT UP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SHUT UP.
YES, YOU HAVE WON IN THE PAST,
BUT BY NO MEANS DOES THAT
GUARANTEE A FUTURE VICTORY.
AND PHILADELPHIANS, YOU ARE
OVERDUE FOR VICTORY, AND I WISH
YOU ALL OF THE BEST IN YOUR
UPCOMING BATTLE.
BUT IF YOU DO WIN, PLEASE BE
COOL.
OKAY, JUST BE COOL ABOUT IT.
JUST BECAUSE THE BRITISH DON'T
BURN YOUR CITY DOESN'T MEAN YOU
HAVE TO.
DO WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING?
>> NOPE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, WE'RE THE BEST, YOU
KNOW IT.
>> YEAH, CAUSE NEW ENGLAND
BRINGS THE PAIN.
>> AND CONNECTICUT, TOO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, I DON'T THINK SO, YOU
TRYING TO GET BEAT TONIGHT?
>> WE DON'T NEED THE BRITISH.
WE CAN SETTLE THIS OUTSIDE RIGHT
NOW.
>> OH, GOOD WITH ME.
COME ONE, ONE IF BY LAND.
TWO IF BY YOUR MOTHER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THEY ARE THE WORST.
>> IS THERE ANY WAY THAT BOTH OF
THEM COULD LOSE?
>> GOD, LET'S HOPE SO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
