>> James: HOW MANY SHOWS LEFT ON
MY QUEUE?
>> YOU HAVE 24,601 SHOWS
REMAINING, JAMES.
SHALL I PLAY THEM?
>> James: YES.
PLAY MY CUE.
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ THERE'S ONLY SO MANY
SERIES YOU CAN SEE
♪ ONLY SO MANY
SEASONS TO BE BINGED
♪ BEFORE YOUR EYES GLAZE OVER
YOUR ASS FALLS ASLEEP
♪ AND YOUR MIND
STARTS COMING UNHINGED
♪ YOU WATCH NETFLIX
HULU, AMAZON
♪ ¡TIL YOU CAN'T REMEMBER
WHICH PROGRAM IS ON
♪ I'M NOT SPEAKING OF NETWORK TV
WHICH IS WONDERFUL, OBVIOUSLY
♪ SO WHEN YOU TIRE OF FLAT-
SCREEN IMAGES OF ACTORS
♪ WHO AREN'T THERE
PLAYING PARTS IN SHOWS
♪ MADE FAR AWAY
AND FINISHED LONG AGO
♪ TRADE THE REMOTE
FOR THE NEAR
♪ LEAVE YOUR COUCH AND
TRAVEL HERE
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ AND EXPERIENCE A DIFFERENT
KIND OF SHOW
♪ THE KIND THAT'S...
THE KIND THAT'S LIVE
♪ THE KIND THAT REAL LIVE PEOPLE
RE-CREATE FOR YOU
♪ LIVE
A SHOW THAT'S LIVE
♪ A SHOW WHERE WHEN YOU LAUGH
THE CAST WILL WAIT FOR YOU
♪ ACTUAL PEOPLE IN
AN ACTUAL SPACE
♪ WATCHING ACTORS WHO ARE
ACTUALLY THERE
♪ IT'S SOMETHING UNIQUE TO THAT
TIME AND THAT PLACE
♪ IT'S SOMETHING YOU FEEL
IT'S SOMETHING YOU SHARE
♪ IT'S━-
LIVE!
♪ WE DO IT LIVE!
AND EVERY SINGLE MOMENT'S
♪ UNREPEATABLE
LIVE!
♪ WE DO IT LIVE!
IT CAN'T BE HASHTAGGED AND IT
♪ ISN'T TWEETABLE
THERE IS A VISCERAL BLISS
♪ YOU ONLY GET IN A THEATER
SEEING PEOPLE DO THIS:
♪ THAT'S THE BLISS FOR WHICH
PERFORMERS STRIVE
♪ AND TONIGHT YOU'RE OUR GUEST
AS WE HONOR THE BEST
♪ OF THE BEST WHO DO IT LIVE!
>> James: GOOD EVENING
EVERYBODY, AND WELCOME TO THE
73rd ANNUAL TONY AWARDS.
HOST JAMES CORDEN AND TONIGHT WE
HAVE A RIF ETING-- SORRY, SORRY,
EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME, BRYAN,
BRYAN, WHAT-- WHERE ARE YOU
GOING?
(LAUGHTER)
>> I JUST HAVE TO GO TO THE
BATHROOM.
>> James: NOW?
I MEAN THE JOE LITERALLY JUST
STARTED.
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
OPENING NUMBER.
>> I KNOW, BUT I REALLY HAVE TO
GO.
>> James: REALLY?
YOU CAN'T JUST WAIT.
>> I'M BLOATED AS HELL AND I'M
NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!
>> James: BRYAN, BRYAN, LIVE,
WE DO IT
♪ LIVE!
WE DO IT LIVE!
♪ WE SING AND DANCE AND AIN'T
TOO PROUD TO BEG FOR YOU!
♪ GET READY ¡CAUSE HERE JAMES
COMES NOW
♪ GET READY
LIVE!
♪ UNDEAD, BUT LIVE!
AND QUITE PREPARED TO SHAKE AN
♪ EXTRA LEG FOR YOU!
EIGHT TIMES A WEEK OUR ACTORS
♪ EXCEL
AT DANCING IN HEELS WITH APLOMB
♪ EIGHT TIMES A WEEK WE GO
STRAIGHT TO HELL!
♪ EIGHT TIMES A WEEK WE GO GAY
TO THE PROM!
♪ LIVE!
WHEN WE REVIVE
♪ YOU CAIN'T SAY NO TO MORNINGS
THIS UNMISSABLE!
♪ LIVE!
YOU CAN'T CONTRIVE
♪ ANOTHER OP'NIN' WITH A KATE
MORE KISSABLE!
♪ WE WORK FOR MONTHS IN ADVANC¡!
CAUSE WHEN YOU SEE US TONIGHT
♪ WE'LL GET JUST ONE CHANCE!
♪ ♪ ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: THAT WAS PERFECT!
EVERYONE TAKE FIVE.
TAKE FIVE.
( LAUGHTER )
THAT WAS GOOD, I THINK.
♪ IT FEELS TIGHT, IT FEELS GOOD,
HEY, EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY,
ATTENTION, LISTEN, JUST
REMEMBER, NEXT TIME WE DO IT,
JUST REALLY TRY AND GET THAT
VERY-- OH WAIT, I
♪ I FORGOT:
THE PERFORMERS CANNOT
♪ TAKE A BREAK ¡CAUSE
THIS IS LIVE
YOU'RE NOT WATCHING
♪ A SIGNAL BEAMING
NONE OF OUR SHOWS ARE STREAMING
♪ THEY DON'T JUST START
ANY TIME HERE
♪ WE DON'T CHARGE
VIA MONTHLY BILLING
♪ NOBODY'S ¡BROADWAY AND
CHILLING'
♪ AND NO ONE'S ON BROADWAY PRIME
WE ARE THE HEIRS
♪ OF A GRAND TRADITION
THE STAGE IS OUR NOBLE MISSION
♪ IT RUNS DEEP IN OUR BONES
WE'RE MUCH BETTER
♪ THAN TELEVISION
WE VIEW IT WITH GREAT DERISION
♪ WELL, EXCEPT "GAME OF THRONES"
AND "FLEABAG"
♪ AND "HANDMAID'S TALE"
AND "KILLING EVE"
♪ AND "CASTLE ROCK"
AND "WALKING DEAD"
♪ AND "DEAD TO ME"
AND "STRANGER THINGS"
♪ AND "BETTER THINGS"
AND ANYTHING
♪ THAT ENDS WITH ¡THINGS'
ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK MIRROR
♪ MARVEL'S MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL
BARRY, BASKETS, BLACKISH,
♪ BILLIONS
BOJACK, OZARK, DARK AND NARCOS
♪ RICK AND MORTY
GRACE AND FRANKIE...
AND THE LATE LATE SHOW...
♪ WITH ME, JAMES CORDEN
WEEKNIGHTS AT 12:30
♪ RIGHT HERE ON CBS
( LAUGHTER )
AMERICA'S MOST WATCHED NETWORK!
>> E MY GOD, WHAT AM I DOING,
WHAT AM I SAYING, TV WAIT,
TELEVISION, WAIT, WAIT, I DIDN'T
MEAN ANYTHING I JUST SAID!
I DIDN'T MEAN A SINGLE WORD OF
THAT.
IT IS AUDRA McDONALD MADE ME
SAY IT, OKAY.
SHE DID, SHE DID.
SHE DID, THE TRUTH IS, I LOVE
YOU, TV.
WE ALL LOVE YOU.
YOU PAY US SO MUCH MORE MONEY
THAN THE THEATER.
(LAUGHTER)
LAW AND ORDER CORPSES?
LOOK, LET ME LEVEL WITH YOU
ABOUT BROADWAY THE PRICE OF
♪ THE PRICE OF A TICKET IS
AWFULLY STEEP
♪ YOU BUY IT LAST MINUTE
IT STILL ISN'T CHEAP
♪ THE TRIP INTO MIDTOWN'S
A TERRIBLE DRIVE
♪ YOU GOTTA LEAVE JERSEY
NO LATER THAN 5:00
♪ SOME THEATERS ARE CROWDED
OR NOISY OR OLD
♪ OR MAINTAINED AT
SIBERIAN LEVELS OF COLD
♪ AND THE SEATS ARE SO NARROW
THEY CRUSH LIKE A CLAMP
♪ AND WITH LIMITED LEGROOM
YOU'RE LIKELY TO CRAMP
♪ YOU CAN'T TAKE A PHOTO
YOU CAN'T USE YOUR PHONE
♪ AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME
ASK PATTI LUPONE
♪ AND AS FOR THE LADIES' ROOM
I'D RECOMMEND
♪ EITHER TINKLE BEFOREHAND
OR WEAR A DEPEND
♪ BUT:
TO GAZE AT A STAGE
♪ OF PERFORMERS LIKE THESE
OR AT ANY AND ALL
♪ OF TONIGHT'S NOMINEES
TO BE IN THEIR PRESENCE
♪ AND BASK IN THEIR ART
WILL LIGHTEN YOUR SPIRIT
♪ AND GLADDEN YOUR HEART
THE LAUGHS FILL YOUR BELLY
♪ THE TEARS FILL YOUR EYES
THE HAIR ON
♪ THE BACK OF YOUR NECK
STARTS TO RISE.
AND IT'S SO INDESCRIBABLY
♪ PLEASANT
YOU'RE IN THE MOMENT
♪ AND TOTALLY PRESENT
YOU GO TO A SHOW
♪ ¡CAUSE THE SHOW LETS YOU KNOW
THAT YOU'RE HERE
♪ AND YOU'RE NOW
AND YOU'RE REAL
♪ AND YOU FEEL
ALIVE
♪ AHH
YOU FEEL ALIVE!
♪ YOU FEEL A SENSE OF WONDER
REAWAKE IN YOU!
♪ ALIVE!
YOU COME ALIVE
♪ TO COME ALONG TO WHERE THE
SHOW HAS TAKEN YOU
♪ THERE IS THE AUDIENCE
HERE IS THE STAGE
♪ BUT THEATER'S ABOUT
WHAT'S IN BETWEEN
♪ THE ENERGY FLOWS
AND YOUR SENSES ENGAGE
♪ IN WAYS THAT THEY CAN'T
WHEN YOU
♪ STARE AT A SCREEN
IT ISN'T THAT BROADWAY'S
♪ SOME GRAND PANACEA
BUT IT CAN REMIND YOU IT'S
♪ THRILLING TO BE...
...ALIVE!
♪ TO BE ALIVE!
TO BE EXCITED AND EXHILARATED!
♪ BROADWAY'S ALIVE!
AND THAT IS WORTHY
♪ TO BE CELEBRATED
EVERYONE'S HERE;
♪ IT'S TIME TO BEGIN
WE'RE GLAD YOU SHOWED UP AND
♪ WE'RE GLAD YOU TUNED IN
AS FOR ME, I'LL SIMPLY SAY THAT
♪ I'VE BEEN UNSURE ALONG
IF I'D GET THROUGH THIS SONG
♪ BUT I DID AND IT'S DONE
AND BY GOD, IT WAS FUN!
♪ IT'S THE TONYS...
AND WE
♪ ARE
LIVE
♪ WE'RE LIVE ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
