SO LET'S GET RIGHT INTO IT.
THERE WAS AN ARTICLE OVER THE
WEEKEND WHERE AN UF INTERVIEWER
SPOKE TO
60 WHITE HOUSE STAFFERS AND
MEMBERS OF CONGRESS, WHO
REVEALED THAT DONALD TRUMP
SPENDS BETWEEN FOUR AND EIGHT
HOURS A DAY WATCHING TELEVISION.
(LAUGHTER)
>> James: NOW A DAY!
SPEAKING AS SOMEONE WHO HOSTS A
TELEVISION SHOW, THAT IS TOO
MUCH TV.
[ Laughter ]
>> James: I DON'T WANT TO SAY
TRUMP
WATCHES TOO MUCH TV, BUT HE JUST
ASKED CONGRESS FOR A $10 MILLION
BUDGET INCREASE FOR THE N.C.I.S.
TEAM.
(LAUGHTER)
>> James: THEY JUST GOT THAT!
NOW, TODAY DONALD TRUMP DENIED
HE WATCHES FOUR TO EIGHT HOURS
OF TELEVISION, TWEETING-- AND
THIS IS REAL-- "WRONG!
I SELDOM, IF EVER, WATCH CNN OR
MSNBC, BOTH OF WHICH I CONSIDER
FAKE NEWS.
I NEVER WATCH DON LEMON, WHO I
ONCE CALLED THE 'DUMBEST MAN ON
TELEVISION!' BAD REPORTING."
IT SEEMS LIKE HE'S PROTESTING A
LITTLE TOO MUCH BECAUSE HE THEN
WENT ON TO TWEET:
"I ALSO NEVER WATCH THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA EVERY
SUNDAY NIGHT, ESPECIALLY NOW
THAT PHAY-DRA IS OFF THE SHOW
AND THEY WON'T MAKE MARLO A
FULL-TIME HOUSEWIFE EVEN THOUGH
SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE THERE FOR
KNEE KNEE WHEN HER BUN WAS
FALLING OUT IN SAN FRANCISCO."
AND MARLO WAS ALSO THERE WHEN
SHE, PORSHA, AND SHUH-RAY THREW
KENYA A FAKE WEDDING SINCE THEY
DIDN'T GET TO GO TO KENYA'S
'REAL' WEDDING TO HER 'REAL'
HUSBAND.
SERIOUSLY KENYA, IT HAS BEEN SIX
EPISODES SINCE YOU 'CLAIMED' YOU
GOT MARRIED AND WE STILL HAVEN'T
SEEN HIM.
WHO IS HE?
BAD REAL HOUSEWIFING!"
(LAUGHTER)
>> James: THIS IS
INTERESTING.
ACCORDING TO THE SAME ARTICLE,
PRESIDENT TRUMP DRINKS AND THIS
IS TRUE, 12 CANS OF DIET COKE A
DAY.
THE PRESIDENTIAL OF THE UNITED
STATES!
SO HE SPENDS FOUR TO EIGHT HOURS
WATCHING TV, AND AT LEAST FIVE
TO TEN HOURS WALKING BACK AND
FORTH FROM THE BATHROOM.
TWELVE CANS OF DIET COKE A DAY.
EVEN THE WOLF OF WALL STREET WAS
LIKE, "DUDE, THAT'S A LOT OF
COKE."
AFTER HEARING THAT DONALD TRUMP
DRINKS 12 CANS OF DIET COKE A
DAY, NORTH KOREA HAS LAUNCHED
THEIR NEW WEAPONS PROGRAM
(APPLAUSE)
>> James: SOME BIG NEWS OUT
OF THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA.
KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA HAS
ANNOUNCED THAT FOR THE FIRST
TIME IN 35 YEARS THEY WILL ALLOW
THEIR CITIZENS TO GO TO MOVIE
THEATERS.
OR AS WE CALL THAT IN AMERICA,
"THE PREVIEWS."
MOVIE THEATERS HAVE BEEN BANNED
IN SAUDI ARABIA SINCE THE '80S.
THAT WAS SO LONG AGO!
THE LAST TIME YOU COULD SEE A
MOVIE IN SAUDI ARABIA, THEY WERE
SHOWING THINGS LIKE "SUPERMAN,"
"BATMAN," "BLADE RUNNER," "STAR
WARS."
OKAY, YEAH, THEY HAVEN'T MISSED
ANYTHING.
(LAUGHTER)
>> James: AND FINALLY, HAS
EVERYONE BEEN
FOLLOWING THIS BIG SENATE RACE
IN ALABAMA INVOLVING ROY MOORE
AND ALL OF THE ALLEGATIONS
AGAINST HIM?
WELL, THE ELECTION IS TOMORROW
AND THE RACE IS SO TIGHT THAT
BARACK OBAMA HAS BEEN MAKING
ROBO-CALLS IN FAVOR OF THE
DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE DOUG JONES.
I DON'T WANT TO BE PESSIMISTIC,
BUT IF YOU'RE A REPUBLICAN IN
ALABAMA VOTING FOR ROY MOORE,
THE ONE THING THAT'S NOT GOING
TO CHANGE YOUR MIND IS A PHONE
CALL FROM BARACK OBAMA.
THAT WOULD BE LIKE.
>>>
"OH REALLY? I DID NOT KNOW
THAT!"
OBAMA IS GOING TO CALL PEOPLE
AND TELL THEM DO NOT VOTE FOR
ROY MOORE.
AND IF A 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL
ANSWERS THE PHONE HE'S GOING TO
TELL HER, "DO NOT TO TALK TO ROY
MOORE."
I'M SORRY, YEAH, NO, I GET IT.
I GET IT.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT TO LAUGH.
BECAUSE IT'S (BLEEP) TERRIFYING.
AND ON THE REPUBLICAN SIDE,
DONALD TRUMP HAS MADE A
ROBO-CALL FOR ROY MOORE.
BUT I DON'T THINK IT WAS ALL
THAT EFFECTIVE, JUDGE FOR
YOURSELF.
>> VOTE FOR ROY MOORE.
HE'LL BE A REFRESHING CHANGE IN
WASHINGTON, ALMOST AS YOU
REFRESHING AS THE CLEAN CRISP
TASTE OF DIET COKE.
