Piantr3s in The Christmas King
Don't you think is odd that is christmas and Fluor hasn't said anything?
Yep. Lets check what he is up to
Inside Fluor's room
Fluor, what's wrong? Are you ok?
Why are you crying?
I'm not crying! Leave me alone!
Don't worry, everyone cries, there's nothing wrong with it.
Tell us. What's going on?
Every year is the same, no one greets me for my birthday
Because everyone is celebrating christmas
Nobody even knows when is my birthday
And when is your birthday?
See!? not even you know when is my birthday!
It's december 26th! One day before christmas. I hate christmas!
What if we go talk to Santa Claus and tell him to change christmas for another day?
But, do you realize that Santa Claus doesn't exist, right?
Santa Claus has always existed, he lives in the north pole
And if he exists then why he never brings presents?
That's a stupid idea!! How are we going to the north pole if we are broke and it's far as fuck!?
Don't you forget I still have my diabolical powers.
I can teleport you, it costs me nothing.
Ok, give me your hands and I'll teleport you right away
Don't be scared, give me yout hands, come on.
Are you ready?
LETS GOOO!!!!
-OOOOOHHH WHAT THE FUCK!!
-I'M BURNING!! LET GO OF ME!!
At the north pole
We arrived. Don't be cry babies, nothing happened.
Ok, so where is Santa?
Over there, lets go.
Hohoho. Hello friends, welcome to the north pole
But you are Marx
That's right I'm Karl Marx
But how did you end up being Santa Claus?
That's a long story I will tell you now
In the beginning I gave presents to the kids sons of the proletariat
Because they were poor and I wanted to bring some equality
All that finally led me to write some books and become a philosopher
But Stalin and the Soviet Union used my ideology to kill thousands of people and create more inequality.
Broken hearted, I exiled myself to the north pole, and went back to giving presents to kids.
And then a cola brand came and made me sign a contract, saying that they were going to help me with christmas
They gave me this red suit, cause it was supposed to be red cause it was from the left wing.
But they actually turned christmas into the most consumerist and materialistic time of the year.
And why don't you ever bring gifts to us!?
I don't know, what are your names?
Doble L
Fluor
Animal
mmmm you are not on my list. I only give presents to good kids and you are bad.
you have killed people, you are always on drugs, you destroyed a whole city and one of you made a pact with the devil.
Also, you are poor.
What does that have to do with this?
Well everyone knows that poor kids don't get present for christmas.
I'm obligated by contract to not give presents to bad kids nor poor kids
Fuck presents. I want to know if you can change christmas date.
So I can celebrate my birthday in peace.
Look, by contract the only way to change the date is that you become Santa Claus and choose a different date.
And the only way to accomplish that is defeating me on christmas and distributing presents better than me.
Dude, if we win you'll become Santa and you'll bring presents to us every year!!
Ok then, what we need to do?
First, take this magical bag wich contains all the kids presents
Cool! Thank you
And you need a sleigh to distribute the presents
Please, please, please can you lend us a sleigh?
This is the only sleigh I have, I'm very sorry.
Guys, leave it to me.
Ok guys, hop onto my back, I'm gonna be your sleigh
Common! Get on!
20 minutes later
Ok, grab on to me tightly, we are ready to depart
Well kids, I wish you luck, may the best win. Hohohoho
Ok guys, this is going to be the best christmas in history. Lets go!
Great. I stole the list of all the poor and bad kids, we will give them presents too.
We are going to change christmas.
LETS GOOO!!!
The race starts
Many hours later...
Guys we did it, we delivered all the presents
Animal, park here.
Oh! my belly hurts
Animal, are you feeling well?
How we did? Did we won?
Why are you so fucking weird!?
Well, you won. Congratulations you did a great race.
Wow! We really won!?
Not really, but I'm old and I want to retire.
Also you thaught me a lesson.
Really? What lesson?
That all kids deserve presents even if they're poor or bad. You can do it better than me.
What a good lesson... woohh....
I'm burned out
You showed me that you can do a better christmas.
Also, I have cancer.
What kind of cancer?
I have the marxist cancer.
Are you fucking with us?
No, this is true. Now I will give you the christmas powers.
And you will be the Christmas King
Wooo!! I have powers!!
Cool! What kind of powers?
I can do ice stuff
I'll go now and deliver crystal meth to all the bad kids who want to be happy.
Wut?
I'm the danger, Flour.
What?
I am the danger, I'm the one who knocks, Fluor.
Good bye.
...Well, I guess we are ready.
Animal, teleport us back
I'm all out of powers, I can't even stand
What do we do then?
Flour, you'll have to take us back with your new powers, and freeze me while you're at it so I can sleep on the way.
If you get frozen you will die, Why do you always have to die?
I'm already dead, you killed me in the last episode.
You just passed out, you didn't die.
How can you speak with us if you are dead?
How can you be dead if I can see that you are alive?
You killed me and then you revived me.
But once dead, you'll never be completely alive
So I can die a lot of times cause I don't have a soul, I don't care anymore.
eemmm.... well, so I will freeze you then.
Ok, Doble L, Lets go.
What's going on!? An earthquake!
...but I don't understand. How can someone die and revive?
When have you seen something like that?
Wow look! a guy who looks like Animal is flying towards us.
I'm fed up that everyone celebrates Santa Claus on christmas and nobody remembers me.
Christmas is my birthday, MY birthday. Look, my heart is broken.
I'm sorry. Who are you?
I'm the aplha and the omega, I'm the savior, i'm Jesus Christ the son of god.
Don't you know my songs?
"I have a friend that loves me and his name is Jesus"
"Ropopom pom Ropopom pom" That song is for me! Is for christmas, is for me!
You are like the dude from the bible?
Yes!! The bible, Jesus Christ Super Star, the home of Christ, the most famous religion in the world.
Dude, everything is solved, we destroyed christmas.
Yep. I'm the Christmas King now, if you want you can help us delivering presents, I don't care.
And look, I have ice powers, we can bring christmas, magic and love to all the kids in the world.
Lets do it, common!
You wanna help or not?
Dude, give me money, the 1%, anything, give me a penny, come on.
