

# Am I positive?

(NEVER SAY NEVER)

by

Abdurrahman Sarmis

www.amipositive.com

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictionally. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or locales is entirely coincidental.

This e book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with.

**Copyright © 2015 Abdurrahman Sarmis**. All rights reserved. Including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof, in any form. No part of this text may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the author.

Version 2015.04.04

www.amipositive.com

Introduction

Dear Readers,

I want to tell you why i wrote this novel. I have seen the importance of HIV after i started working at Medical Microbiology Laboratory. Health care workers were having needle accidents, they were asking to test HIV as soon as possible panicky. So this panic led me to tell people about HIV.

## And i am a Muslim. Unfortunately, even though my religion Islam is a religion of peace, we have been seeing a lot of troubles about Muslims in the world nowadays. I wanted to tell people about Islam. Islam really cares about all human. The world jihad is actually not to kill people, it is actually to cherish people, to help people to be happy. I wanted to give samples with a Muslim infectious disease doctor in my novel. I am openminded about all constructive criticisms. Feel free to tell me your opinions. It is my first novel, so in Turkish we have a saying,

## "Sürçi lisan etti isek affola..." which means,

## "Forgive us for albeit lapsus linguae."

## 01.04.2015

Abdurrahman SARMIS

##

Dedicated to my wife and our newborn baby....

## Chapter 1

Let's meet Brian

Brian was 3 years old when his parents were divorced. He is the single common kid of his parents. His father, Gary was working in a very big company in a very important administrative position. Gary was loving his job even though it made him very stressful and aggressive sometimes. Gary loved Laura (Brian's mother). They met at a party at university years. Laura didn't like Gary at first, but at the end of university, Laura decided to marry him. Because Gary was very successful and started to work in a very big company. So, the money and being rich was more important to Laura than to be loved or loving. But Gary, he was very vivid, loved his job, loved his wife. He loved Laura, because he was amazed with her beauty and body. He didn't take care of her personality so much. Laura was a member of a economically normal family. But she had targets about being a very rich and popular in future. So she was feeling alright about anything to do to be rich. But Gary couldn't see this fact because he was very amazed. After Gary was accepted by the big company and starting to be rich made Laura convinced about marrying him. The future of Gary was seeming promising. Gary had started job and they got married one year later. Gary was earning really good money comparing to average of society. The first wish of Laura was a honeymoon in Hawaii from Gary after marriage. They were seeming very happy, but Laura was feeling that's just a step for her targets and dreams. Gary was wishing to be father, but Laura was delaying after a few years from marriage. Laura was using her woman powers to amaze Gary and make him do her wishes. A luxury life, wasting money of Gary... Gary's friends and families tried to warn him but they kept wasting money and he had to receive loan from different banks to satisfy his wife's very expensive wishes. Suddenly something happened surprised Gary. Laura got pregnant. Gary was very happy and he forgot his money problems. He was jubilating. But there was a problem. He had to pay a lot of loans that he received from the banks. The loans were so much over of income of Gary. Meanwhile, problems between Laura and Gary started. Because Gary could not supply even needs of pregnant Laura. Gary had to sell his car, but that was not enough. He had to sell Laura's car too. But Laura denied this. All of these problems were causing a decrease of Gary's performance at work too. His boss warned him a few times. Laura finally gave a birth. But she was very unhappy and was always discussing with Gary. Laura was also not wishing to be pregnant, but that was happened and Laura's life for her lower self was leaving her. Laura decided to name baby "Brian". Gary could not say anything much. He accepted. Finally, Gary lost almost every property of him. Bank took all from him. Laura left him with Brian. Laura was trying to be a movie star, but she didn't try much when Gary was rich. Because, she was just satisfying her wishes and ego. So she escaped to her mother's house with Brian. And opened a new life. So Gary, the guy who works a lot, the guy who loves his wife a lot, the guy who tries his best lost everything of his job at the end. He was very clever and hardworking guy, but his eyes were covered by amazing beauty and body of Laura. He could never think the future. He did whatever Laura wished. Finally, he lost her and even Brian. The divorce suit took 3 years. Because Gary didn't go to hearings. Gary was homeless. Finally he found a roommate and a new job and started a new life. About Laura, she hided some money and property from Gary. So it was easier for her to start a new life than Gary. But Laura was with Brian. She didn't wish him. Brian was an unwanted baby, a produce of an accident. After divorce, Brian had to stay with Laura. Laura felt like she had to get rid off Brian to be a very famous movie star. She was leaving Brian to her mother. But it was very tiring for her mother, so Laura started to pay her mother to look after Brian. Poor Brian... Laura found a job and finally left Brian and her mother.

## Chapter 2

Difficult times

At the end, Brian lived with her grandmother and he became 15 years old. Brian was very active, was loving to make new friends. But friends of him were not very smart good guys. Some of them were using drugs. Some of them were sent to jail due to robbery, rape. Brian could not stop himself and finally he started on drugs too. That interest ended up using IV (Intravenous) drugs. Poor Brian, he was in a trouble. One day he lost his mind, needing drug IV. It was a crisis. He used a friend's needle to inject drug. And he got calm down. After a while, he realized that he used someone else' needle. And the owner of needle had been sick for a while before that crisis. Brian started to think if he got infected by any virus. He tried to talk his friend and his friend told him that he didn't know if he had any infection. So, they decided to go to a doctor, but they didn't have enough money to pay 250 US dollars doctor visit and also no health insurance. So, they found a way to get tests. They applied for blood donation. Because they do hepatitis, HIV tests for free for donors. They went to a hospital but before that, they tried to look good, bought new clothes. Before donation, they were asked to fill a form if they were suitable to donate blood. There was a question: "Are you an intravenous drug user?" They decided to choose "No". Otherwise, that would be a risk for them about being refused without test. They needed test, so they chose "no".

### First HIV Test

They use 4th generation ELISA test at that hospital to diagnose Anti-HIV. Anti HIV test detects antibodies against HIV. HIV is Human İmmunodeficiency Virus. So, when a person got infected with HIV, the body starts to produce anti HIV molecules. But, that takes a while like 3-4 weeks to 3-4 months according to immune system of host. Meanwhile, Anti HIV test gets usually negative at early stage even though the person carries virus. That's the handicap of fast, reliable ELISA tests. But new combined tests started to check an antigen, a molecule of the virus called p 24 with anti HIV anti core at the same time. Even though the body has not produced anti HIV, tests find the antigene, the virus. But sometimes, they have false negatives results too. So, the form being filled by the donor is very important. Because if they declare that they use IV drugs or having unprotected sex etc., they should do extra tests like molecular HIV RNA test which detects the virus' small particles. But those tests are very expensive, that's why, they don't use molecular tests for scanning for donors. Because, a lot of people apply for donation and that would cost too much. So, they trust donor candidates but if they have a suspicious, they don't take blood.

Let's go back to Brian. Brian and his friend Alex, gave form, and they got interview. In this interview, doctor didn't like their attitudes, had a suspicion but said ok to do test. So, blood samples were taken and they were waiting for results excitingly.

Doctor showed up with a report on his hand. He talked to Alex first, Doctor said, "Alex, we need to repeat your test. We have to be sure about anti HIV test of you." And then he turned to Brian, "Brian, we also need to repeat your anti HIV test, there could be a mistake, so we need new samples." They accepted but they were very worried. The result of Alex was 787.18 S/co which means very high positive. But the result of Brian was 1.2 S/co which means borderline positive. They repeated test with new blood samples and results were nearly same. Doctor Ahmad (Who is an Egyptian physician works there) had a suspicious if they were a gay couple or IV drug users. But Dr. Ahmad had to be very carefully because they filled the form as they were not gays and not drug users. So, Dr. Ahmad told them, "We are sorry, we can't accept blood donation from you guys, we need extra confirmation tests and you guys should see infectious disease department." Dr. Ahmad made a report, informed Infectious Disease (ID) department of the hospital. And they were accepted to ID polyclinics.

### HIV Results

Here we give a break to our novel. Let's discuss about HIV test results. Blood banks usually use these ELISA tests. (ELISA is a type of technique of lab tests) Because ELISA tests are really good alternative to test many samples fast and reliably. Reliability is not 100% but bigger than 90%. So, blood banks and many laboratory use these fast ELISA tests. Also, ELISA tests have generations. The most common and recent is 4th generation which is last technology about reliability. And also, there are combo tests which both checks Anti- HIV molecules and p24 antigen of virus. So, in our story, we see 2 different results. Alex' result is very high. That result needs to be confirmed but, we usually believe that if there is no mistake about testing samples, this result which is very big number is probably positive. In my laboratory, we saw lots of such results and confirmation tests were also positive. But if we take a look at Brian's result which is 1.2, it is a very close result to negative. So, that anti HIV result needs a confirmation test. Most of countries use western blot test for confirmation. Western blot test is more expensive and hard to do. So, it is not used for screening but for confirmation. According to my experience, that borderline results were usually negative after western blot test. But in some cases, we saw "indeterminate result" as a result of western blot. So what happens if it is indeterminate? We will talk about it in our story.

Meanwhile, Alex and Brian were very worried, Brian fainted. Alex was more relaxed compared to Brian. Because, Alex was grown in streets. He had seen many troubles, rapes, fights, being stabbed etc. So, Alex who is just around 16 years old had no hope, no expectations from life. But Brian had a smart family at first, but lost contact with his mother and father. Anyway, Brian was so worried.

### Chapter 3

Infectious Disease consultation

They applied to ID policlinic, one by one. Doctor Hussain, originally from Pakistan was working there. He talked to Alex first. And he wanted Alex to be honest and he told him that he would never share his personal data. So he convinced Alex. Alex started to tell everything. He told doctor that he was an IV drug user, he was grown at streets, he had no family, no relatives, all of his friends were homeless people. Hussain was so sad when he listened his story. He said,

"Dear Alex, yes this is true that HIV is a very dangerous virus. But, you can live very long with this virus if you take care of yourself, and visit us very regularly and follow our advices and take your medicines regularly if you need to use medicine. So, please just don't worry, but take it serious, do all you have to do and trust me. Ok? "

Alex was so surprised. He was thinking he was gonna die very soon.

"Oh my god, really? Can I live very long? I thought i was going to die from this illness in a few months.."

Dr. Hussain, relaxed him. Hussain was so sincere and he really was wishing to help. Alex was so much happier than first time he heard that test positive. Also, Dr. Hussain added,

"We are still not sure if you are HIV positive. We need to do extra tests. So if you accept working with us, i will want you to give new blood samples. ok?"

Alex answered "Yes. I would be very happy doc..."

Then, Dr. Hussain wanted new tests from him and sent him to laboratory to give blood samples.

After him, it is was Brian's queue. Brian was so much worried. He saw Dr. Hussain with a smiling face. And he wanted him to tell him everything honestly, and he made him sure about everything will remain secret between them. Brian was so anxious at first but then, he trusted Dr. Hussain. He told him everything. Dr. Hussain felt sorry for Brian and Alex. He told Brian,

"Brian, please get relaxed at first, don't worry. Now you are with us and we do know what we have to do. About your test result, it seems you are very close to negative. So we need to do confirmation tests. Please trust us and visit us regularly on time. Inshaallah (God willing) we will be sure about your situation if you are positive and negative. And if you are positive, we will start treatment earlier before it makes you very sick, so you can live very very long normal life if you take care yourself and follow our advices. Deal?"

Brain, "Yes doctor, please.." Brian was so surprised about this doctor's attitude.

Afterwards, Brian started to tell about his drug addiction habit. Dr.Hussain was so shocked. He asked Brian if he ever used someone else' needle. Brian was so worried and couldn't talk. Because he was very scared to go to jail. Dr. Hussain tried to relax him again.

"Don't worry, this is our secret." he added again.

Then Brian told him "Yes, I used Alex' needle."

Hussain's face changed. Because Alex seemed positive according to his guess. That means, infection risk of Brian increased. Hussain turned to normal, because he had to be strong. He really wanted to help Brian.

"Ok Brian, please follow my advices" he told him. He wanted to learn if Brian was addicted. Brian said "yes, I am told that I have crisis when I can't reach drug".

Hussain asked if he wants to get rid of this addiction sincerely. Brian said "Yes, but I am very lonely, drugs help me".

Dr.Hussain told him he could get psychiatric help.

**Dr.Hussain:** "Would you like to get psychiatric help? I have a psychiatrist friend. He can help you."

**Brian:** "Sir, i am worried to go to jail. Jail is full of jerks, it is not easy to stay alive and healthy there. I really need help but i feel i need real friends to guide me in this horrible life."

**Dr.Hussain:** " My friend is such a guy. He is a medical doctor, he hides secrets and tries his best to guide his patients. He really loves his job."

**Brian:** "But i don't have health insurance".

**Dr.Hussain:** "He is a private MD. He has his own office. I will talk to him, i guess he would be very happy to help you for free. Because, we believe in Allah (God of Muslims) and Allah wants us to help people who need."

**Brian:** "Really? But i prefer you doc."

**Dr.Hussain:** "Ok, give me your phone number, i will try my best to help you, deal?"

**Brian:** "Thank you so much sir, i am very happy now. But i have a question about HIV?"

**Dr.Hussain:** "Yes, please?"

**Brian:** "Your face seemed worried when i told you about that i used Alex' needle. Do you think i have HIV from him?

**Dr.Hussain:** "Brian, we need to wait for confirmation test results both for you and Alex. We will talk to you about this next week, ok?"

**Brian:** " Ok Sir, now let me go, i will wait for your call"

**Dr.Hussain:** "Ok take care, may Allah protects you."

**Brian:** " Oh you Muslim? I really don't know your religion and God."

**Dr.Hussain:** " We should meet sometime Brian. I would like to talk to you."

**Brian:** " That would be great Sir. I will wait for your call then."

**Dr. Hussain:** "See you."

Brian left doctors office very happily. Because, he thought he gained a new friend: "Dr. Hussain". Also Brian and Alex went to give new blood samples for western blot test and HIV RNA test.

### Life is going on...

Brian was having really difficult problems about drug. After consultation with doctor, he went to visit his grandmother. He was feeling very lonely in this world and he was looking for someone to talk and share his problems. His grandmother was working in a fast food restaurant. She had to work to stay alive. She had diabetes and hypertension. And medical insurance was so much expensive, that's why she needed to work. She was housewife for many years but her husband died and did not leave her so much property. Also her daughter, Brian's mom, Laura, was not a frugal girl in her teenage times. So, she was also an unhappy woman.

Brian came home and he saw his grandmother sitting and thinking deeply in a chair. She stared at Brian's eyes. She understood something was going wrong. Brian was looking very sad, innocent and like begging her to help him. His grandmother, Samantha became gracious and she smiled at him. They were having problems before, because Brian was doing bad things with bad friends. Samantha opened her arms and welcomed her grandson. Brian was crying in her arms. She hugged him very tightly. "Oh my little boy, welcome to your grandma", she welcomed him.

**Brian:** " Grandma, forgive me, i have been very bad boy."

**Samantha:** "You forgive me too, i have not shown you compassion and interest enough."

**Brian: "** You have been a mother and father to me in this cruel life. But i could not be aware of your sacrifice. I have been a very bad and stingy boy, thinking just myself and how to have fun."

**Samantha:** " Hush...tell me your problem honey."

**Brian:** "Mum, i am a drug addict. I have been using intravenous drugs for a few months. Now, i can not do without them and i had an attack. I used my friend's needle. And we have just learned that he is being suspected about HIV carriage today."

Samantha was so surprised and worried. She asked what doctor told him. Brian told her everything they talked with Dr.Hussain.

"Oh dear, we have to wait and pray then" Samantha said.

Brian asked: "Who do we pray, grandma? Doctor told me he is Muslim and they call God "Allah". I want to know difference between God and Allah."

Samantha surprised, "It is just the name. " she replied. "They believe Jesus is prophet of God, but we believe in that Jesus is son of God. Because he was born from Virgin Mary who neither had a husband nor a relationship. So, God sent him to us."

Brian was surprised. He didn't learn much about religions. But he wondered why God needed to have a son. He wanted to learn properties of God according to Christianity and other religions. He decided to make a search and talk to Dr.Hussain as soon as possible. But now, he wants to be sure about his life. First, he had to be sure about HIV. If he had it or not. He was also planning to get rid of IV drug addiction. This trouble about HIV made Brian questioned his life.

"Why am i a human? Why did i come here, this world? Why did not i have father and mother with me like many kids or teenagers?" he was thinking.

He decided to look for answers after being sure about HIV. He never felt death was close to him before.

### What about Alex?

Alex felt good with talking to Dr. Hussain. He started to look for people HIV positive to talk to them in his neighborhood. His neighborhood was not a neat place, there were lots of drug users, and some of them were HIV positive and even some had AIDS which means acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. Alex found John. John were living in same neighborhood, but had to move away because of economical issues. John told he had HIV for about probably 2 or 3 years. But he found out that he was positive 1 year ago. He had been admitted to hospital 1 year ago, because he was fainted and found alone at the street. People saw him called ambulance. He was diagnosed AIDS at this time.

## Chapter 4

What's AIDS?

Alex asked John, "What the hell is this AIDS, bro?".

John sighed very sadly and told him, "This means acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. If a person gets HIV, HIV starts to take possession of immune system of person and if the patient doesn't get medication, this syndrome will probably develop. Patient becomes very weak and open to other infections. At that time i fainted, i was feeling very weak. I think i got this virus a few years ago before that incident. Because, i joined a party, there were drugs and orgy. I usually never join such parties, i was very drunk that night. I guess, i probably got virus that night. But i wanna tell you, every HIV carrier is not AIDS. It takes some time to develop. But the patient's compliance is very important. I feel lucky because of my doctor. He was interested in me so much. He became like a friend of me. He called me almost at least one time per a week. I was very scared at first, but his attention made me relaxed. Why have you been asking me all of these bro?"

Alex replied, " I am probably HIV positive man. I am waiting for confirmation results."

John surprised, "Wow, how did you get test? You got health insurance?"

Alex replied, " I and my friend had an idea, we went to blood donation. They made free tests."

John wondered, " Why did you need to be tested about HIV?"

Alex sighed and said, " I have been feeling very weak bro. I started to lose some weight. I am an IV drug user. I had a drug user friend died from this virus last year. I told Brian, my best buddy, my situation. He was scared too, because he used my needle one time."

John worried, "Oh sh.t, what is his result?"

Alex replied, " Docs are not sure yet, he needs confirmation tests too."

John shook his head desperately, " I hope he is negative. Oh man, what the hell is happening to us? Why are we living this life? Why do we need fu..ng drugs? Why the hell this virus exists?"

Alex started to cry, "I don't wanna die bro. Help me.."

John hugged him, "Oh man, don't be a baby. You should be strong. Don't worry, if you take care of yourself well and visit your doctor regularly and take medicines on time, no need to worry brother. Relax..."

Alex wondered, " But i don't have health insurance bro, how can i get my medicines if i am really positive?"

John replied, "Search online and apply a program. There are some good guys helping us, man."

Alex crossed his hands, " Oh God, please help me. I have not been a good boy, never talked to you before but i need you so much, please help me..."

John didn't tell anything, and moved away slowly. Because Alex was crying and talking to God by himself.

##

Chapter 5

The Big Day

Finally, the big day arrived. Alex and Brian met and went to hospital together for their appointment. First Alex entered Dr. Hussain's room. Doctor Hussain welcomed him and he told Alex that his result was positive. Alex shocked. Dr. Hussain relaxed him,

"Please don't panic. Your confirmation test result Western Blot is positive."

"What about other test doctor?" Alex asked.

"Other test is HIV RNA test. It shows how many viruses you carry on your blood. And, unfortunately....It is very high positive Alex. You carry HIV right now on your blood."

"Oh nooooo, very high positive?...", Alex shouted.

"Please man, relax. We are talking. Yes it is very high positive but not late for treatment. Please, relax." Dr. Hussain tried to calm him down.

Brian heard his scream and entered into room very fast. He helped Dr. Hussain to calm down Alex. He hugged him. Alex was crying. Dr. Hussain told him,

"Alex, please calm down. It doesn't mean you are going to die in a short time. Nobody knows when to die. We can even die right now, maybe an earthquake happens. We never know. Allah gave us a lifespan and one day everybody will die. Allah says,

" **Every soul will taste death. Then to Us will you be returned. (Ankabut, 57)"** in Holy book Qur'an.

So, we are all gonna die Alex. Would it be worth to ruin all of our life with this fear? Calm down please."

Alex calmed down after a short shocking time and they sat down.

Alex asked, "What is gonna happen to me, doc? I don't wanna die...Am i not too young? I also wanna get rid of these f... drugs... Please help me doc...please"

"Here why i am here Alex. I am here to help you, you are not alone. So, if you are ok now, we can talk about our plans. We need to do some more blood tests, these tests will indicate your inner organ's medical situation and the power of your immune system against microorganisms. We have lymphocytes having war against microbes. This HIV is a virus which is attacking these lymphocytes. One of these lymphocytes are CD4+ T lymphocytes. So, it is very important to check your CD4+ T lymphocytes ratio in your blood. The higher ratio you have, the stronger immune system you have. One more another test is about HIV you carry on your blood. We will check this virus' resistance situation against our medicines. Also, i want some more other tests about some viruses which can transmit through needle and sexual contact. And i am going to write a prescription for you, so you can also start your therapy. We can't wait for other test results, because number of virus in your blood is high. But don't worry, if you follow our advices and visit us properly on time, you may not have problems Alex. So, deal?"

Alex shook his head and started to feel better. He got over the first shock. He thanked doctor and followed his advices. Dr. Hussain arranged a paper for him to get his medicines and blood tests. He was very thankful to him. And it was Brian's queue.

Brian asked excitingly, "What about my result doc?"

Dr. Hussain replied: "Your western blot test is negative Brian. Your body doesn't have an anti core (which is a weapon produced by human body) against HIV. That's actually good, it means your body have not produced a weapon, so HIV is not in your body. But...."

Brian was excited more with the word "but"...

"Yes doc, yes, but what?" he asked excitingly.

"But, you had a suspicious event, a needle accident from a HIV positive person's needle. So, we need to check your blood tests 3 months later. HIV has a period. It hides itself from us in human body. Tests are usually negative during first couple of months, sometimes it takes 6 months to get positive. So, you should visit us periodically till we can say you are absolutely negative. Meanwhile, you should keep yourself away from all risky habits. You should not use drugs, no sex with someone suspicious, or you better don't have sex with anyone. Don't be stressful, we just need to follow you to be sure, ok? Do you promise me not to use drugs again?" informed and asked Dr. Hussain.

Brian said: "Oh doc, i promise i will try my best but i can't promise doc. I need your support."

"You should be away from bad friends buddy. I would like to be your buddy, we can hang out at weekends if you like?" asked Dr. Hussain.

"Oh really doc? Sure, i would like to." replied Brian.

Dr. Hussain said he was gonna call him this weekend. Brian was so surprised, and they left to get medicines of Alex. And Alex gave blood samples. They were very surprised about Dr. Hussain's attitude. Normally, it would be very expensive for them to get all of these. Tests, medicines, examination...But they did not pay anything. And they gained a new friend, Dr. Hussain.

"Oh man, this guy is Muslim and a very kind doc...isn't he Alex?" asked Brian.

"Yeah man, he is the nicest guy i ever met. I thought there is no nice, gracious people around ever. We live in a garbage bro. Full of sh...t...I would like to know him more. Maybe we can get rid of this garbage, huh?" replied and asked Alex.

"Yeah maybe bro. But i hear very bad news about Muslims on TV. They cut heads of non-Muslims, and they say they do it because of their religion. They say their God orders so. But this guy, he is also Muslim, i don't know which is real Islam. Maybe this doc, he changed in our country. But i also would like to learn more about him and his religion, Islam." replied Brian.

"And, what about my situation bro? Am i not gonna use drugs again? I really don't wanna die but i am so much addicted man. Doc said we should be away from bad friends. Where am i gonna live Brian? I am homeless, all people around me are very bad people, they use drugs, they rape, they steal...That's not happiness...i can't see a future. Some of them became very rich by stealing, drug trade etc... But they keep hurting, man. I know one of them, he died from AIDS. He was very rich but his money could not save him. So this is not true way Brian...Please man, let's become friends with this doc, he is my last hope to get rid of from this garbage." told Alex.

"Oh Alex, we will see buddy, now please relax. You are not alone. Maybe, i will be positive too, huh?" asked Brian.

"Oh man, i am so f.... sorry man...It is my fault. I hope you won't be positive man....I can't forgive myself if you get virus. Oh sh...t, how did i let you use my needle? My dumb.... head..." said very sadly Alex.

"Hey hey hey Alex, take it easy, it is ok, it is ok...No worries, time is gonna show but calm down man. We are gonna try our best to win this enemy, ok? Sorry i didn't wanna hurt you. But we are not alone. I really believe and trust this doc, i hope he won't leave us in the lurch. And maybe one day, we can have a hospital and hire him..." told Brian.

Alex smiled and asked, "Oh yeah, it is nice to dream huh?"

Brian replied, "Yeah man, but i have a great hope man, why not? Life is short and if this doc is sincere, i guess we can do lots of things with him. We will see..."

## Chapter 6

Time to talk to the grandma

They laughed and went their places....Brian went home, Alex went to his neighborhood and he became very upset, he cried, he wanted to hug a mum and a dad...But the people he saw were homeless, drug users...He went to his box and tried to sleep.

Brian came home happily and hugged his grandmother.

"Grandma, i am not positive thank God..." told Brian. Samantha was very happy.

"Oh my god, thank you, thank you. You gave my grandson back to me. Come here, you little bad boy..." hugged Samantha.

Brian was very happy. They were singing and dancing...Samantha asked him, "What about your friend Alex?

Brian stopped smiling and dancing, and didn't talk for a while.

"Grandma, well, hmm....Unfortunately, he is positive, grandma. " replied Brian.

"Oh no, but you used his needle Brian?" asked Samantha.

"Yes, i am negative right now, but doc told me we need to retest 3 months later. Because HIV has a period to get positive. So it is early to say "i am negative surely". But thank God, i am negative at least for now." replied Brian.

"Oh, boy..Now i started to worry again. So we will wait and see, but how can we wait Brian? This is insane. Oh God, please don't let Brian be infected." prayed Samantha.

"Mom, please pray for Alex too. He is my best friend, and i guess Dr. Hussain will be our best friend too. Pray for him too, but he is Muslim." requested Brian.

"Oh sure Brian. I will pray for all of you, boy. He can be Muslim, it is not an obstacle for me to pray for him. Everything is on God's hand, and Jesus Christ." replied Samantha.

"Oh, on Jesus Christ's hand? Mum, who is more powerful? God or Jesus Christ?" asked Brian.

"Oh Brian, we ask from God and Jesus Christ. Jesus is for us, he sacrificed his life for us. And he is son of God. He has also great powers." replied Samantha.

"But grandma, if Jesus is killed, how can he help us? He even could not protect himself. Wasn't he a human?" asked Brian.

"Boy, if he was human, who was his father?" asked Samantha.

"How can you be sure Mary was virgin?" asked Brian.

"Oh Brian, please stop. Don't insult Jesus and Virgin Mary. We believe Virgin Mary and God, ok? I don't wanna argue with you about this anymore." replied Samantha.

"You told me Muslims believe Jesus is a human and a prophet of God. That sounds normal to me, because he was killed. But i still wonder how Jesus Christ became without a father, grandma?" kept asking Brian.

"Shut up and ask your Muslim doc, ok? I don't wanna let you insult Jesus Christ. Oh Jesus, please forgive us, and help my grandson to keep his faith, please!" prayed Samantha.

"Oh yea,ok grandma, i am leaving you alone with your DEAD Jesus Christ..." laughed Brian.

"Get out!!" shouted Samantha.

Brian left his grandmother and was cursing Jesus Christ. He thought Jesus Christ was the reason of this fight.

He talked to himself " Anyway Brian, it is time to go haunting. Let's check out chicks."

## Chapter 7

A girl in the park

He went to park, there were lots of people having fun at the end of a sunny day. He saw a girl laying down and reading a book. Brian felt crazy about looking at her. He tried to approach her, but he remembered Dr. Hussain's advice... "you better don't have sex with anyone..."

He sat down somewhere opposite of her. And he started to think:

"What if i am positive? I don't wanna infect her. Maybe we can be just friends but man, look at her, she is very hot...it is impossible to stay just friends, so i better watch her from far, that's better for both of us."

Meanwhile, the girl noticed him. And she smiled. Brian was very surprised and he smiled back. The sun was going away,so she got ready to go. Brian stood up and started to follow her. The girl was walking and peeking Brian if he was chasing her. And then in a deserted part of the park, the girl slowed down and Brian got close. Brian said,

"Hey, you, the most beautiful girl of this park has ever seen..."

The girl smiled"Oh, me?" asked.

"Yes, yes, you, how are you?" asked Brian.

"Oh i am fine thanks, and you?" asked the girl.

Brian said, "I am very very fine right now, because i am the luckiest man here, because i meet you. My name is Brian and yours beautiful lady?"

"Oh what a nice name. My name is Kelly. Nice to meet you Brian". replied Kelly.

They walked for a while. The father of Kelly was waiting for her at the exit of park. Brian saw him, and surprised. Kelly introduced her father Brian. Kelly's father shook Brian's hand very hard.

"Oh, nice to meet you sir."said Brian.

Kelly asked her dad if they can get Brian to his home by their car. Kelly's father was interested in with her so much. So, he accepted but he didn't like Brian. Brian was shocked. He was just staring a girl, and now he was at their car. They got on car and Brian sat behind with Kelly. Kelly's father was looking angry. But he didn't want to let Kelly realize it. Brian had taken Kelly's cell phone number before he left car. Kelly was looking happy and Brian thanked Kelly's father.

Brian was still surprised. "I didn't know how hot i was, hehe" talked to himself.

But now, what was he going to do? He was in front of the door and he had a fight with his grandmother Samantha. He ranged bell. Samantha opened the door. She was looking very angry, "How can you come here, Brian?" asked him.

Brian told," I am sorry grandmother, i apologize, please forgive me."

"You must apologize from Jesus Christ Brian!" she replied.

"Oh Jesus Christ, please forgive me" said Brian without faith.

Samantha smiled and did let him come in. And she wanted to talk to him.

"Brian, you know, we are living together, your father and mother left you to me. It is ok, i don't mind. But i am getting older, i might die soon."

"Oh grandma, please, don't talk so."

"Shhh, let me finish my word" said Samantha.

"Look, son, life is passing so fast. We are all going to die one day. I understand this much better by the time. You have to save your life. I want to learn about your plans about your future. What would you like to be in future? Do you want to look for a job? Tell me your thoughts..."

"I really don't know grandma, i actually wanna be a basketball player, but i have to get rid of these drugs first. They make some tests.."

"Hmm...So, i am really worried Brian. I don't know how long i am gonna live but i want to see you save your life. I want to see your happiness. You are the single memory left from your mother, my sweet daughter Laura." started to cry Samantha.

"Oh, grandma, please, don't cry. That's the way my mother had chosen. It is not a good way, but what can we do? " wiped his grandmother's tears out Brian.

They hugged each other, Brian understood her importance in his life. She is the single person from his family to hold life together. He decided to earn some money, find a job and help his grandmother. And he promised his grandmother to find a job as soon as possible.

### Visiting Alex

The next day, Brian went to visit Alex. He told him about his plans. Alex loved the idea but he reminded him he was HIV positive.

"It would be very hard to find a job for me. Man, i really would love to get rid of this garbage. I don't like living in this box. A job means a hope for me, but how?"

Brian thought and asked "Hmm...We don't have to tell them that you are positive, right?"

"Yeah but, how far can i escape? What if my situation gets worse?" worried Alex.

"You are right bro. If i get a good job, i will talk to my grandmother, maybe you can live with us, but i can't promise."

"I don't wanna cause you a problem, bro. Let me die here alone..." talked desperately Alex.

Brian frowned and said, "What are you talking about man? You are gonna live, you are my best friend. I can't leave you alone, ok? Have you already started your therapy?"

Alex, "Oh no, we forgot to get medicines. Let's go to pharmacy with papers."

"Ok, let's go" agreed Brian.

### First time at pharmacy

Brian and Alex had checked papers before they went to pharmacy. They checked the names of drugs the doctor prescribed. They had seen 2 drugs.

  1. EFV: Efavirenz

  2. TDF: Tenofovir disoproxil fumarate / FTC: Emtricitabine

They went to pharmacy together and Brian talked to pharmacist. He gave papers, pharmacist looked at him. He seemed unhappy.

"It seems like you don't have a health insurance. Do you have enough money to buy those medicines?" asked pharmacist.

"Oh, how much is it?" asked Brian.

Meanwhile, Alex was sitting sadly little bit away from them, so he was not able to hear what they were talking about.

"Hmm, only first drug costs for one month is around 790 bucks. Can you pay?"

"Oh no, please show us a way." worried Brian.

"It would be very hard for him to get health insurance now. Insurance companies would not like to have a customer with HIV. So, you better search about health care programs. I can't give you these medicines right now, they are too expensive and i need to keep them."

"Oh sh..t, we need to talk Doc. Ok sir, thank you." said Brian.

Brian took Alex and told him that they should have gone to Dr. Hussain. Alex was worried but Brian calmed him down and told him not to worry.

"I am sure Dr. Hussain knows a way to help us bro, so please relax." said Brian.

### Health insurance problem

They called Dr. Hussain. He agreed to meet them at lunch break. They told Dr. Hussain about the problem. Dr. Hussain said,

"Oh sorry guys, i forgot to guide you about insurance problem. There are some helpful organizations about patients without insurance. But you still need to pay some of the price."

"Oh Doc, how can i? I am homeless, jobless...I live in a garbage." said Alex.

"No Alex, you are not alone, i am gonna find a job and i will help you. And i will talk to my mother and you are not gonna live in this garbage anymore." said Brian.

Dr. Hussain liked this conservation, and he thanked Brian. " You are a great friend Brian. You really love your friend, that's a real friendship".

"I can't leave him alone in these hard days. We both are in a garbage, but i have a great hope that we will get rid of this garbage with your help."

Alex started to cry and Brian hugged him.

"So, no worries guys, i will arrange everything and i guess the best option for you Alex is group health insurance. So you guys can also make lots of HIV positive patients and cling to life all together." said Dr. Hussain.

After lunch, Dr. Hussain arranged everything and had great news. He gave them an address and they decided to go there tomorrow. Because, that address was kinda far away from where they live.

After hospital, Brian told Alex, "Bro, let me talk to my grandmother tonight. I hope she will let you move into our flat. Please wait for me one more night. Ok?"

"Sure Brian. But please don't have an argue with your grandma because of me. I don't wanna you cause a problem. I am used to live in this garbage. Your help means a lot to me. I appreciate this Brian. Really, please don't be sad." replied Alex.

"No worries, just one more night. She is at work right now,so i have to wait for her until night. Be patient buddy, we will see."

"Nothing else to do for me bro...Take care.."

"See ya"

Brian went home and he prepared a great dinner for himself and his grandmother. He even took some candles to affect his grandma. He started to wait for her. But time was passing and she didn't get home on time. After half an hour, he started to worry. And he gave a call to her cellphone. Phone was out of signal. He called her work place, and they told him that she had got sick and was sent to hospital. Brian alarmed and he went to hospital. He found out that they had taken her to emergency room and they had found out she was having heart attack. They had started treatment, but she got worsened, so they took her to intensive care unit. Brian was shocked. He remembered last fight with her. It was about Jesus Christ. He started to pray,

"Oh God and Jesus, i am so sorry, i made a very big mistake, please forgive me."

He felt regretful. And then, he started to wait for good news at waiting room. Meanwhile, he remembered Kelly and he sent her a text message and he told her about his grandma's situation and he asked her to pray. And then, he also called Alex. But, Alex didn't pick up the phone.

"Oh no, please Alex, don't get sick...I can't handle this." thought Brian.

Then, he left his phone number to the nurse just in case of an emergency and he went to visit Alex again. While he was on the way, Kelly replied his text.

"Oh Brian, i am so sorry to hear that. I hope she gets well soon, my prays are with you." sent the text message Kelly.

Brian arrived to the place of Alex after 20 minutes. He had another shock.

## Chapter 8

Alex is burning

He found out Alex shaking and sweating inside of his pasteboard box.

"Oh man, what happened to you? " asked Brian.

But, Alex was not able to talk and reply him. He was shaking so badly and crouching.

"I..I..I... I am so... so... bad...man...please help me...." faltered Alex.

Brian stopped and started to cry. He was having second shock in last 1 hour. He decided to call ambulance and the official on the phone said,

"Ok, relax now. I got one ambulance on the way back to hospital, they can take you in like 5-10 minutes."

Brian thanked her. And he tried to carry Alex to the nearest part of street. But this neighborhood was known as a very bad area. Some guys appeared around Brian and Alex.

"Hey you, what the hell are you trying to do? You can't take our man away from here." warned Brian the biggest of them.

Brian told them that Alex was his best friend, and he was very sick at that moment. Brian told them he called ambulance. They laughed at him,

"Oh come on, you think ambulance can get here? If they wanna get in here, they have to pay 500 bucks. And you, if you wanna take him away from here, you gotta pay 500 bucks either."

Brian was having the biggest shock at that night. Meanwhile they started to hear the voice of ambulance. But the voice stopped. Some bad guys stopped ambulance. They were asking money. Brian understood they were serious. He decided not to fight with them. He said,

"I don't have that much money, so i have to bring him back to his place. But are you gonna let him die? He is HIV positive. He is dangerous for you."

This biggest guy touched Brian," Oh yea, my brother is positive too, half of us here is positive. And we are all alive and healthy, we can beat you very well. We all need money for our drugs ok? Find out money or drug. Otherwise, we won't let you go."

Brian remembered that Alex was hiding some drugs.

"Ok wait, i will get some drugs for you."

They did let him go by himself. Brian ran into somewhere they can't see. And ambulance had to go away from that area. But ambulance officials called police and informed them about situation. Brian found out drugs at the place Alex hided. He took them and started to run back, but what the f.....The policeman was pointing his gun to him. And the light from policeman car was blinding Brian's eyes.

"Hold your hands up and get down" announced policeman.

Brian got so worried. He was carrying drugs and the policeman was asking him to get down.

Brian had to think so fast. He held hands up and saw other guys. He indicated them with his hand and shouted,

"The real offenders are there, sir. They threatened me."

The policemen turned to them and also the light turned to them. Brian found a chance to escape. He started to run away, he had to get rid of drugs on him. The policemen realized that Brian was escaping and they got divided into two groups. One of them started to chase Brian, others started to chase real offenders. So, an operation of police started. They communicated with Police Department and they wanted help from air, copper chopper. Brian was running so fast. Meanwhile, he was thinking all the events he was living very fast in a short time. He threw drugs away before chopper arrived. After 5 minutes later, he stopped running. He held his hands up and the policemen arrested him. They took him to the police station. They asked him, if he was the one stopping ambulance. He got angry and said,

"I am the one calling ambulance. You can check it from phone records."

"Oh boy, why did you escape then?" asked policeman.

"Sir, you acted like i am the criminal. I showed you real criminals. I hope you had them."

"What do you know about them? Tell us all the story"

Brian told them he went to visit his friend Alex. He told that Alex was HIV positive and he found out him sick. He was on fever, shaking. He called the ambulance. But, when he was bringing Alex to the way, these guys stopped him. They asked money. And Brian told policemen, he went to find money. The commissar had a suspicious, because Brian had run. The commissar asked, "Did they ask you only money? How much did they ask?"

"They asked me 500 bucks."

"Did you go to get some money?"

"Yes"

"Did you find?"

"Actually, no. But i was so worried about my friend Alex. So i wanted to go back. I found out you guys. You stopped me."

"So, you were just trying to help your friend,huh?"

"Yeah, absolutely."

"Hmm...We found Alex, you are right, he was so sick and on fever. But we also found out that he was a drug user. What would you like to say about this?"

"That's the reason how he had HIV."

"Do you also use drugs?"

Brian stopped. He tilted his head and said,

"I used to, it was just for a short time. I did quit. Please Sir, let me go. I only have grandma, i live with her and she is in intensive care unit right now. Please Sir, please, let me go."

"We need to do tests. If you are positive of drugs, we can't just let you go."

They made some blood and urine tests from Brian. Brian was worried so much. He remembered God and Jesus again. He was feeling confused about whom to pray.

"Please, God...help me, i wanna be near my grandma and my best friend Alex. They need me..." prayed Brian.

The commissar came, he was smiling.

"Well, Brian. you are negative. But, you will keep giving tests monthly. We will call you and you have to come to police station and sign daily at first month. If we catch one positive, you will be sued. Deal, son?"

"Yes, Sir." replied Brian.

Brian thanked God, he was thinking, "i asked from God and it seems like it worked out. Oh Jesus, maybe you are just a prophet like Muslims say. I need to learn more later."

Brian ran to hospital, he found out both Samantha and Alex were in intensive care unit. He had a chance to talk to Doc.

"Doc, please tell me, Samantha is my grandma, she is the only one left from my family. And Alex is my best friend. Please, tell me how are they?" asked Brian.

Cardiologist Ryan said, " Your grandma Samantha is going better. She had a mild heart attack. But she needs to rest for a long time. She should not work. We plan to take her into service tomorrow if everything goes alright. So, you can see her, ok?"

"What about Alex?"

"Well,Alex is a drug user. We found out he has an infection at his heart valve. We took blood cultures and we did required tests and ultrasonographic imaging tests. We found out he also needs a surgery. So,cardiovascular surgeons will take him into surgery soon. So, you better pray for him. "

"Why did this happen?"

"This is common at intravenous drug users. Do you know anything else about his health situation?"

"Yes doc, he is HIV positive."

"Oh yea, if you know, i can tell you. And this infection is not a good sign but i hope surgeons will do a great job and may God save him."

"Amen, ok thank you Sir."

Brian started to keep waiting. He was also praying. After a while, they took Alex to the operating room. He saw Alex sleeping in green clothes. Brian could not stop some tears fall down from his eyes. That night seemed like to pass very hard.

Meanwhile, his cellphone rang. It was Kelly calling him. He got excited and picked up the phone.

"Hello Brian, how are you? How is your grandma?"

"Hey Kelly, thanks for calling. I have just talked to Doc. He said she is doing well. I hope to see and talk to her tomorrow morning. What about you?"

"Well, i am fine. I was wondering you guys."

"Thank you so much Kelly. That's very sweet of you. You are a very nice friend. I am so happy to meet you."

"Me too, Brian. Let me know if i can do anything for you."

"Thanks alot Kelly. Your friendship is best help for me. I feel you are the gift of God. I would like to see you in person, i would like to invite you to dinner after my grandma is discharged from hospital."

"Oh sure, i would like to visit you and her, Brian." accepted Kelly the invitation.

Brian approached her with sexual feelings at first. After all stress he lived, he started to feel more emotional about Kelly.

"Maybe she could be my wife in future " he started to think. He decided to know her more. But he also promised himself to stay away from her sexually until he finds out that he was not positive. He would not want to infect her. He wanted to ask Dr. Hussain. He became like a friend for him and he needed his advice.

By the way, he was also wondering Alex. It had been a few hours till he had been taken into surgery. Brian dropped asleep where he was sitting. After a few hours later, he was called to be informed about surgery. Cardiovascular surgeon Dr. Phillips talked to him,

"The operation has been successful. This infection is very common among intravenous drug users. He has bacteria circulating in his blood. He is taking antibiotics right now. Cardiologists also ordered to take blood samples for the test of microorganism. Microbiology laboratory is working on it. And about surgery, we cleaned the gathering around his heart valve. If you had been late little bit more, we might have lost him. Now he is in intensive care unit, all treatment he needs has started. We might change antibiotics according to the report of Microbiology Laboratory. So, that's it.

Also, i heard that he is HIV positive. That's not good but i believe he will get rid of this bacteria, but you need to talk to Dr. Hussain. Because, he can tell you about how strong his immune system is. Sometimes, antibiotics are not enough to clear microorganism, they need a great help of immune system.

Any questions?"

"Thank you very much Sir Philips. When can he be taken into service?"

"Well, it is at control of Anesthesiologist. She should inform you. We do surgery, they follow in intensive care unit."

"Oh ok, thank you."

"You are welcome."

After a very long and tiring night, the sun rised, a new day with new hopes started. He woke up and went to canteen of the hospital to have breakfast. Time was showing like 8 am. He decided to visit Dr. Hussain before he starts his work at his clinic. He found him and they started to talk.

"Good morning Doc Hussain, Sir..hmm how should i call you?"

"It is ok bro, call me as you wish. We are friends."

"Oh ok, thank you Doc. You can't guess how much adventure i had last couple days. Lots of things happened. But you are about to start work. I just should tell you about my friend Alex. He had surgery last night, he is in intensive care unit right now."

"Oh really? " surprised Dr. Hussain.

"Yes Doc. He had endocarditis. Doc said it is very common at intravenous drug users. He is taking antibiotics now. Maybe, they can ask you about him."

"Oh yes, probably i will be informed today. Oh man, it is very bad. How come it started?"

"Long story Doc. We can talk later. By the way, my grandmother had mild heart attack. She is at intensive care unit too. I should go back, she might be discharged today, maybe."

"Oh man, sorry to hear. You can call me anytime, whenever you need, ok? Feel free..."

"Thanks Doc. Hope to see you later. I got lots to talk to you. I need you Doc."

"Don't worry brother, i am free today after work here. We can meet at 5 pm. I will call you ok?"

"Thanks Doc. See you."

"See ya"

Brian came back to in front of intensive care unit. She was waiting for his grandmother. By the way, 2 cops appeared in front of him.

"We need to go to station. Commissar wants to talk to you."

"Oh Sir, please let me see my grandmother. She will be taken to the service soon."

"Don't worry, we informed Docs. They will keep her all day today. We need to take you to the police office."

"Oh man, what is my fault again?"

"Come on, we are doing our job."

"Ok you are right. Let's go then."

They arrived to the station and Commissar John talked to him in private.

"Brian, be honest to me. We found drugs in that neighborhood that you ran away at that night. It was close to area of the way you ran away."

"So?"

"And we found your fingerprints on it"

"Oh yea, ok sir, let me be honest to you. My friend Alex was very sick. I called ambulance for him. But the area where Alex lives is not close to the street. He is an homeless guy lives in a very dirty area, inside of a box. When i was taking him, we were stopped by that gang. The leader of them asked money from me. I told him that i don't have money, he then asked for drugs. I remembered that Alex hided drugs somewhere. I went to take it. When i was coming back, you guys stopped me. So i had to run away to get rid of these drugs. "

"Sounds good, but i talked to this gangster. He denies that he saw you. He doesn't know you. And he says he didn't talk to you that night. So, what are you going to say?"

"Please Sir, be logical. He did a lawless job, he absolutely won't tell you truth."

"You also did a lawless job Brian? "

"I am forced to do Sir to save life of my friend Alex."

"So, you are not a drug user right now, huh?"

"Yes Sir."

"What about Alex?"

"He also gave up."

"Ok Brian. You need to sign some papers. You are just 15. We need your parents? "

"My parents are away from me. They got divorced and left me alone with my grandmother when i was very little. I even don't remember their face. So i have been living with my grandmother and SHE IS IN INTENSIVE CARE UNIT RIGHT NOW..."

"Calm down, boy. Ok, we have found out your mother. She lives very far, we informed her about you. She denied coming here and helping you. "

"Oh really? Where the hell is she?"

"None of your business. So seems like your guardianship right is at your grandmother. We need to talk to her."

"Oh please. She just had a heart attack. Don't get her down please?"

"Well, my eyes will be on you. I will keep following you and Alex. If anything wrong happens, i will not be merciful like now. Now i let you go."

"Thank you so much Sir. We just try to survive right now in this very unfair world. We want to start a new life. I hope our doc can help us. Thank you so much again."

Brian ran back to hospital. The end of the day was approaching. Finally Samantha was taken to the service, and she saw Brian, they hugged each other, they were both crying. Brian told her about dinner he prepared for them, Samantha cried more,

" Oh sweetie, that is very nice of you, I am sorry if I ever hurt you "

"You are my mum, I am sorry, I will be a very good son god willing, I will find a job and help you, ok? You don't need to worry and work anymore.. "

"What if you take drugs again? "

" Mum, i promise you, i will never take these f...g sh..s. I will be a good man, that might be my last chance."

" Why do you say so my son? "

" Mum, Alex is positive, i am negative right now but risk is present, we will retest in a few months, and we will see if i am really negative or not. "

" Oh sweetie, don't worry, even if you are positive we can get a very happy long life together, we love each other, we will appreciate each others' value, if we connect each other very tightly, nothing can hit us."

Brian hugged her very tightly, they were crying again.  
"Nothing can stop us, mum, nothing..." cried Brian.

" Today is my second birthday, God gave me your friendship, i appreciate you Mum. Mum, i would like to ask you something."

"Yes, my son."

"Mum, Alex is a good boy actually, but you know he is homeless and HIV positive and he just had an operation last night, he is still in intensive care unit. I want to ask you if you let him move to us, i can work and help both of you, mum?" asked Brian.

"Oh my sweet boy, how merciful and a great heart you have, I am sorry for him. But he is a drug user, what if he gets crisis at home when you are not at home? What can i do? It might be disaster, Brian, maybe he can stay somewhere for drug users? Do you know such a place for addicteds? " replied Samantha.

"Oh mum, i promised him that i was gonna talk to you about this. If i say no, he will understand your decision, what if he dislikes you? "

"Son, be honest to him. What can I do if he gets crisis? He also needs HIV medication, right? "

" You are right, mum. Sorry for disturbing you. "

"Please my son, i know how great person you are, but there is a horrible truth, and i guess it would be better for him to stay in a place for addicts. Right? "

"Yeah, that's logical. I hope he will accept it. "

Samantha smiled.

" Mum, if you are ok now, can i check out him? He is still in intensive care unit."

"Sure Son. Don't worry I am ok, sweetie. "

He went to check Alex. There was no improvement in his situation. "We hope he will be ok soon, but no response to treatment yet. I'm in contact with Microbiology Laboratory. " said Anesthesiologist. Meanwhile her cellphone rang. She talked to the microbiologist.  
"Oh ok, thank you." she hanged up her cellphone.

" They have just called me from lab about Alex. Now we know the name of bacteria circulating in his blood. "

"What is it, doc?"

"Staphylococcus aureus, which could be very dangerous. But we don't know the antibiogram result yet. Tests are being continued by Microbiology Laboratory. He is taking good antibiotics right now. If it is not stronger than usual, we won't change meds. But if test results are worse, we will have to think about it, also we will ask infectious diseases specialist. Ok?"

"Yes, doc, thank you. "

Brian kept praying for Alex. Meanwhile, he remembered Kelly. He gave a call to her. Kelly didn't pick up the phone. He called again. He started to worry, he waited for 10 minutes more. Kelly neither called back nor sent text message. Brian called again, it was ringing but no response. He decided to text.

"Kelly, are you ok sweetie? I am worried, is there anything wrong? Please call me or text me. " Brian sent text message  
After a few hours later she replied.

"I don't want to see you again, bye " Kelly replied.

Brian was so surprised and shocked. He didn't understand what was going on. He called again and again, but there was no response. She turned her phone off. Brian thought what wrong he did.

"Maybe she is having a bad day " he thought. He decided not to call for a few days.

Meeting with Dr. Hussain

While he was waiting, Dr. Hussain called him. Time was 5pm. He was leaving work, he wanted to have a dinner with Brian. Brian got happy with this invitation. They met and went to a restaurant. They sat and ordered their wishes. Brian was so excited to talk to him. He started to tell all of the story. Doctor was so surprised and started to give him advices.

"Brian, that is a very hard situation, especially for Alex. You all need to keep each other very tightly. You all need to support each other, but don't worry I see the light on your eyes. I believe you can handle it Inshallah."

"Inshaallah, why do you use this word a lot, doc?"

"We Muslims should say it alot because in our holy book Qur'an Allah says

"And never say of anything, "Indeed, I will do that tomorrow,

Except [when adding], "If Allah wills." And remember your Lord when you forget [it] and say, "Perhaps my Lord will guide me to what is nearer than this to right conduct." **{18/ 23,34}**

We believe everything can be done only by permission of Allah. Nothing can be done if He doesn't let. And also we don't have a guarantee to live even next few seconds. So, if we say something to be done in the future, we should say Inshallah. I would like to tell you a funny story about this. There was an old, boring man in a small village in a Muslim country. He decided to go to bazaar one day. His wife saying " Insha Allah " a lot. He was getting mad about it.

"Why are you saying that a lot? I will go and come back, that is all."

"Say Inshallah dear, you never know. "

He disliked her reply then he left. He took his donkey, it started to rain. Some gangsters stopped him and took his donkey and all stuff that he was bringing with him. He couldn't do anything. He understood his mistake. He turned back home. He ringed the door bell. His wife asked :

" Who is it?"  
"Open the door wife, Inshallah it is me."

So yeah, we never know huh?"

"Ha ha, oh yea, his wife was right. Oh man, i understood we have to be good with God. We should be friends. I understood that when my grandmother was in intensive care unit, when Alex was in operation, when i was taken to the station. If you ask him honestly, he will help."

"Absolutely Brian, that is very nice to hear all of that from you. Do you have some time, we can talk more? "

"Yes man, but my grandmother is alone at hospital right now. If you don't mind, can we go to hospital after here?"

"Yeah sure, i would like to visit your grandmother. And i also need to pray soon. There is a place for Muslims to pray at the hospital. You know visiting a patient is a worship in Islam. I would be happy to see her."

After dinner they came back to the hospital. Dr. Hussain asked him to go to masjid ( small mosque) inside of the hospital. Brian was wondering how Muslims pray. He accepted. First Dr. Hussain performed an ablution. He washed his hands,face, arms, some part of his head and feet. Then, they passed inside of the masjid. He was saying something in Arabic and he was looking at ground. His eyes were on front. Then he bent and straightened and prostrated. Brian was so surprised, he had some questions to ask him. There should have been meanings of everything he did. He tried to do what he does. He felt weird at first. But he felt very close to God when he was prostrating. He decided to learn more about Islam. They were seeing Muslims killing each other on news. But this doctor was very nice. He gave him a confidence. So, he should have talked to him about it.

After praying finished, Doc smiled at him and said:  
"Wow man, did you pray like a Muslim? How was it? "

"Awesome man, I would like to talk to you more about this. I felt amazing when my forehead touched the ground. I felt like I was talking to God. I felt like he welcomed and smiled at me."

"Oh wow, that's nice to hear bro. Ok, let's visit your grandmother and Alex, then we can talk more about it. "

They came to the service where Samantha was staying. They came to her room and they saw nobody. Brian got panic. Dr. Hussain talked to the nurse and the nurse told that she had been taken into intensive care unit back. Hussain and Brian went to the intensive care unit, Brian stopped at waiting room. Dr. Hussain went inside of the intensive care unit with his coat. Brian was worried and waiting for doc. After like 10 minutes later, doc showed up in front of the door.

" Brian, relax, Miss Samantha is ok right now, her blood pressure and heart rate decreased, so they had to take her here. She is taking medicines right now, she'll be ok Inshallah. "

"Oh, Inshallah sir. But i don't know why that happened. "

"That's why she wasn't sent home Brian. She should had been observed. That's normal and that's the decision of Allah. We have to pray, wait and see, deal? "

"Ok, sir" started to cry Brian.

Hussain sat near by him and he tried to help and support him.

"Brian i really understand you. That's a very hard situation. But i am sure you can handle all of these. I feel that power inside of you. By the way, don't you wonder about Alex? "

"Oh yes, i forgot him. How is he doing? "

"Alhamdulillah which means thank Allah he is doing better, his conscious is back now. He recognized me. He smiled and asked about you. I told him that you were here. He became happy and said "He is the person i only have, he is my family, please protect him. I don't want him to be an addict and HIV positive like me." And i told him not to worry anymore. I am with you guys. "

"Did he really tell all of these?"

"Of course man, a Muslim can never tell a lie. I can tell you a hadith about it. "

" What is hadith? "

"Sayings of our prophet Mohammad (P.B.U.H.) (Peace be upon him) "

"Ok, tell me about it. "

"Friends of our Prophet (PBUH) asked him a question:  
"Oh, Prophet of Allah, can a Muslim drink? "

"Yes, it is forbidden but he or she can do that as a sin."

"What about doing a fornication? "

"Yes, can do as a sin."

They asked about a lot of sins. Answer was yes, and they asked about telling a lie."

Prophet (PBUH) replied :" Oh no, a Muslim could never tell a lie. "

So as you see, a Muslim can do sins, if he or she does, he or she becomes a sinner. But can never tell a lie, being honest is a very important character to be a real Muslim. So, i make you sure that i never told you a lie."

" Wow Sir, i got lots to learn from you. Ok, i trust you. And about Alex, i don't know why but i really want to help him. I am in a bad situation, never seen my parents but he doesn't have even a grandmother and a home. So, i pity on him."

"So, how did you guys meet? "

"Streets..Actually street basketball. I was playing street basketball when i was around 12-13 years old. My street team played with his street team."

"Who won?"

"He he, they won. They were all blacks and big boys. After game ended, one of my teammate started to fight with one of them. The fight got bigger and i didn't want to join but one of them punched me. Alex saw me and he called me near him. And i got rid of this fight with his help. But my left eye was swallowed and hurt. You know my that teammate was killed at this fight. Maybe Alex saved my life. I don't know but after all, we have been best friends and he is homeless since i met him."

"Now your turn to help him. And you are doing a great job. "

"Oh here my question. I asked my grandmother about hosting Alex. She said that Alex was an addict, she asked what she would do if he has crisis when i am not at home. What do you think doc? "

"Your grandma is right Brian. If he has crisis, what will happen? "  
"My grandma told about some places for addicts. She suggested to stay with them for him. What do you think? "

"Oh, such a great idea, but has to be a safe place, being watched out by the government. "

"Do you know such a place? "

"No, but we can search. One more thing, they may not accept him because he is HIV positive. If we all hide it, they can see his medicines. Because they have to check all of the pills taken by patients there. Seems like it is very hard to find a safe place for him. "

"Oh Sir, what a bad thing drug is."

"Yes, you are right. "

"Why do you think that's very common among young people, especially homeless and poor ones?"

"Oh Brian, look at life. People's souls are hungry. They need to fill it with something, either such a good thing or a bad thing. What should that something be do you think? "

"What's it doc?"

"Well, answer is very easy actually. We should first ask ourselves why we are here. Who sent us here. What does he want from us? Brian, that conversation can take long, are you ready right now? "

"Yes sir, i can listen to you all night."

"Ok then. Now i will tell you my beliefs.  
Allah created us to be servant to him. But only to him. He has no start and no end. He was not born. He created angels and some other worlds that we don't know all of them. Angels are living things only worship him, obey him. They don't have a decision, they don't have willpower. And Allah decided to create us, human. Angels asked him, " Oh Allah, Our Lord, are you going to create a living thing that will shed blood in the earth? "  
Allah replied them, "I know what you don't know. "  
Allah gave us nefs ( lower self ) which is like a small kid needs to be educated. Nefs wants only to pleasure itself till it is educated. Allah gave us that because of examination. This life is an examination. We need to correct our nefs and educate it. The more we do, the closer we get to Allah. And there was Iblees who was a teacher of angels. He was a very informative living thing. He was a jinn. Allah created the first human called Adam. The first human and prophet. Let's read it from The Holy Book Qur'an:

"And We have certainly created you, [O Mankind], and given you [human] form. Then We said to the angels, "Prostrate to Adam"; so they prostrated, except for Iblees. He was not of those who prostrated.

[ Allah ] said, "What prevented you from prostrating when I commanded you?" [Satan] said, "I am better than him. You created me from fire and created him from clay.

[ Allah ] said, "Descend from Paradise, for it is not for you to be arrogant therein. So get out; indeed, you are of the debased.

[Satan] said, "Reprieve me until the Day they are resurrected.

[ Allah ] said, "Indeed, you are of those reprieved.

[Satan] said, "Because You have put me in error, I will surely sit in wait for them on Your straight path.

Then I will come to them from before them and from behind them and on their right and on their left, and You will not find most of them grateful [to You].

[ Allah ] said, "Get out of Paradise, reproached and expelled. Whoever follows you among them - I will surely fill Hell with you, all together." {7/11-18}

So, we had 2 enemies. First our lower self, our nefs and Satan. Satan can only whisper bad things. But he promised to make people do sins to go to hell forever. He will be punished in the hell forever after doomsday which is the end of life here. So, he doesn't want to be alone there. That's why he wants to steal Muslims' faith. If a person dies without faith, he or she will be punished in the hell. Satan wants that and tries anything possible. But why did Allah create us? Allah says in Holy book Quran,

**"** And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me **"** **{51/56}**

So we are here just to be servant. You know machine. When they sell it, they give you a user guide. If you don't use it properly, you can't take advantage of it. So, Allah created our bodies and nefs. He also shows us how to use it in Holy book Qur'an. If we don't follow this guide, we can't feel real happiness. Our souls can't accept a blank. It should be filled with either good things or bad things. That is a part of examination in this world. We have to do something. So people who can't find peace, they look for it in bad things. Drugs are one of them."

"Alright, but what does your Holy book Qur'an say to be happy? What should we do?"

"I was about to come there. Actually it is very simple.

**"...** Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured. **" {13/28}**

So, if we remember Allah all the time, we will surely be happy and we will spread positive energy."

"Am i positive, haha?"

"Oh yes, you spread positive energy :), but not HIV positive thankfully " smiled Hussain.

"Look, a person who always remember Allah can never hurt someone, even himself." continued Hussain.

"So, our aim should be a servant to Allah. If we live for ourselves, if our aim is to be rich, to have power, we will consume our energy but one side of us will stay hungry. That's why people trend to fill that blank with extra ordinary things. They follow their ego, lust, nefs and The Satan. They all order them horrible things. And all of these are temporary joys. For example, when Alex takes drugs he enjoys that a lot, but that is for a very short time. He enjoys but this drug is destroying his body,and also opens a way for infections just like right now. So, the life in this world is like that. It seems full of joy, happiness etc. But if we walk away from the reason we were sent here, we can't find real happiness. We only fool with temporary joys and consuming our energy and life span. Life span is our capital. Unfortunately, we are wasting it. So, maybe you can ask how can we be a servant? The answer is easy, by obeying Allah and surrender to Allah. He sent us here and He knows what is best for us. We have to know him first, we have to meet him and we should believe in him then. I guess it has been so long for now. If you want,we can talk about Allah's properties, his names next time, ok?"

"Oh sure, Hussain maybe we can meet properly and you can tell me more, or like lectures properly. Would you mind?"

"Oh that would be awesome Brian. We can meet for like a few hours and can talk longer once a week regularly. Which day is best for you?"

"You know doc, i am at hospital and i don't have a job. My life is kinda irregular, hard to say. You pick the day and i will try my best to follow it."

"Ok Brian, deal. What about every Thursday night? Between 7-9 pm.?"

"Sure, great idea. I can listen to you and ask my questions."

"Ok, deal. Now let's pray for Samantha and Alex. May Allah protect them and give them their health back."

After waiting little bit more, Hussain asked Brian a permission to go home. Because his wife and kid were waiting for him. Brian was so surprised. How could a doc ask a permission from him? It was first time that someone was asking a permission from him. He smiled and hugged him. Hussain went and Brian kept waiting.

### Bad dream

Brian was very tired and he found a place to sleep. He dropped off and after a short time started to snore. He was seeing a dream. He saw Kelly was smiling her from far. He was running to get close to her. Each time he gets close, she was moving away. Finally he got tired. And Kelly started to walk towards him. She came close to him and she turned to a black scary devil as she was hugging him. Brian woke up with scream. People were looking at him. Security came over. They calmed Brian. Brian went to wash his face. He was still under shocking effect of Kelly's attitude. He didn't understand why she acted so. He decided to search about it. Time was 2 am in the morning and he called her. The phone was out of signal. He started to search about her online. Brian had learned her name and surname. He searched about her at google, facebook, twitter on his smart phone. Finally, he found out her profile in a social website. Her last status was "disappointed." Brian sent him a message through that website. He was trying to understand what wrong he did. He informed himself and he told that he was in hospital, waiting for his grandmother and friend staying in intensive care unit, he was feeling sorry because he couldn't be interested in with her enough etc. By the time, he remembered Kelly's father. He didn't like Brian at first meeting. He started to search friend list of Kelly. He couldn't find his photo, but found some male profiles with same surname of Kelly. Brian decided to create a fake profile to be friends with those guys. He decided to learn the reason of Kelly's act. So, he might do crazy things. He created a fake female profile. He used a random beautiful girl's photos. He gave a name to that fake profile, "Siobhan Kicker." He sent a message to one of this guy who has same surname with Kelly. Brian's mind was very busy with his grandmother and Alex, but when it comes to sleep, he couldn't have been able to stop thinking about Kelly. And he didn't mention anyone about this situation. It was nibbling his mind. So he found such a way, and he started to send message to these guys and Kelly through fake profile. And he liked some same pages with them to answer how they found them. He did all and started to wait for replies.

There was no answer till around 9 am. One of them replied, "Oh Hey Siobhan, thanks for message. You seem like a very nice girl, how did you find me?"

And the fish was in net. He started to talk more about him. They chatted like almost for an hour and he learned that this guy was cousin of Kelly and Kelly's father was police. He understood why Kelly left him after that information. Kelly's father didn't like Brian at first. So, he probably searched for him and found out his problems. He also learned the name of Kelly's father. He decided to meet and talk to them when he goes to station. He understood that he had to be ok with her dad if he wanted Kelly.

By the way, Anesthetist showed up and she told Brian that both Samantha and Alex should stay one or two days more in intensive care unit. Brian asked her if he can go home to take a rest. She did let him go. Finally, Brian was home and took a shower and slept very long. When he woke up, he saw lots of messages on his cell phone. It was that guy,sending "Siobhan Kicker" messages.

"Oh my god, it should be very hard to be a girl online..." talked to himself Brian. He had learned what he needed. So,he tried to stop that profile and he did. But he forgot that this guy, "Adam" was computer engineer...

After a few hours later, he left home to go to station first. He decided to find Kelly's father at station. He went to station, signed the paper and looked around for Kelly's father. He found his name in front of a room. He clicked the door and came in. Kelly's father was so surprised and frowned.

"Sir, may i talk to you?"

Kelly's father, Michael didn't talk and indicated the chair for him to sit.

"Sir, i met you at the first day i met Kelly. I really like your daughter. I know, i don't deserve her, but i want you to give me a chance Sir. Please Sir."

Michael turned his face to another place and asked him,

"Does my daughter want to be friend with you?"

"Yes at first. We didn't have any problem. But she stopped talking to me suddenly. I guess that's because you don't want us to be friends."

"My daughter is a mature girl. She can decide whatever she wants. She knows how to choose her friends. You can go now, i am busy here."

"Sir, please. I know it is because of my situation. I promise you i gave up drugs. Believe me."

"Get out of here" shouted Michael.

Brian left the room very sad. But he didn't want to quit. He texted Kelly. He told her about his visit at station. And he also swore Kelly that he had given up drugs. Tests were negative. He told her that he really wanted to know her more and be friend with her. And he went back to hospital.

After a few hours later, Brian was sitting in front of intensive care unit. Kelly replied him,

"I am sorry, i can't be friends with you, please don't disturb me again. This is my last text message, if you keep me disturbing i will have to inform my dad. Bye..."

Brian was so shocked, he felt very bad. Also he started to worry and decided to stop sending her text messages. He really was afraid of going to prison, especially at that time when his best two friends were in intensive care unit.

##

Chapter 9

The fight

Days were passing, 2 days, 3 days...Samantha and Alex were still in intensive care unit. Dr. Hussain was also very busy. Brian was waiting for Thursday night excitingly. Wednesday, he was going home from hospital to rest. Someone stopped him in a darker street.

"Hey, you"

"Yeah?"

"You must be Siobhan Kicker?"

Brian was so surprised. That was him, "Adam."

"Oh, sh..t" said Brian and started to run away. Adam started to chase him. Brian was running to the that rural area where Alex was living. He thought maybe these guys, gangs might help him. They were both very fast. It was dark, time was around 10 pm.

"Stop you fu... as...." yelled Adam.

Brian stumbled on a stone in the ground and felt down very fast. His head was bleeding. Adam caught him and punched his face. He started to beat him very fast and badly. Brian begged him to stop. Adam's anger didn't finish. He kept beating, beating and Brian left his conscious. Adam stopped and worried if he killed him.

"Oh no, what did i do?"

He checked his heart rate. He was living, but he had lots of hits on his head. He might die. Adam was very angry to him but he did not intend to kill him. First, Adam checked around. He saw there was a woman looking at them from window. Adam worried a lot. He was going to try to find water but the woman was calling somewhere. He decided to run away. He was very worried and regretful. He hided somewhere to check what was going to happen. Like 10 minutes later, ambulance and police arrived that place. They took Brian into the ambulance. Ambulance left and policemen were checking around. Adam worried and left the place he hided. He tried to pretend as he was walking in the street. He started to walk forward to the crime scene. Policemen stopped him, asked his id. He told them he was just passing from the street. He also told them that his uncle works at station. They thanked him and did let him go. Adam relaxed and went home, but he was very worried. Luckily, it was night and probably that woman can't identify him. But he was worried if he did leave fingerprints at Brian's face. He was going to find some water not to leave a sign behind himself, but that woman on the window ruined everything.

Meanwhile, there was also a policeman at the ambulance. He took samples from his face. They arrived to the same hospital and Brian was taken into the emergency room first. They checked his brain computer tomography. There was little bit edema. He decided to take him into the intensive care unit. Now, all of them were in intensive care unit. Samantha, Alex and Brian. Anesthetist was on duty that night. She was so surprised. There were totally 5 patients in intensive care and 3 of them were like a family. Luckily, Brian's situation was not so bad, but Samantha saw him. She started to cry and scream. Anesthetist Gabriela, calmed her down.

"Please, Samantha, calm down. He is going to be ok,don't worry. I checked him."

"Oh my god, what happened to him?" asked Samantha as crying.

"I don't know details, but i hope he will wake up tomorrow, please relax, ok? You have to keep your spirit high, ok?"

"Ok doc, ok. Oh Brian, my baby...what happened to you?"

That night was very hard for Samantha. She had to deal with her situation and now she had to think and pray about Brian. She cried silently all night as she was laying down on her bed, taking meds by her vessels. She kept praying God all night, and finally she felt a sleep.

She woke up during morning visit. Her eyes were looking for Brian. But his bed was not there. Doc Gabriela was not there. There was another doc. But Gabriela had informed him about Samantha and Brian. He came close to Samantha and told her,

"Don't worry, Brian is going to be ok."

"Where is he doc? Where is Dr. Gabriela?"

"She left, she was on duty all night. She has to rest, hasn't she?"

"Yea, but where is Brian?"

"He will come back here, don't worry please."

Meanwhile, Alex also started to wake up. And Alex was having drug crisis. He was having shortness of breath, starting to move very fast like having a seizure.

"Give me my drugs, give me!!!..." He started to scream and yell.

Docs and other workers called security and they tied him up to the bed. Anesthesiologist gave him some meds. After a while, he got calmed and slept again. That situation affected Samantha. She was so worried. She had only her grandson left with her and she was not knowing his situation at that moment and she was staying in intensive care unit with his best friend, Alex.

"Oh God, please help us. Please save my grandson and his friend. Please save them. If you save them, i will agree to die. Please God, please" was praying Samantha.

So, what happened to Brian? Brian was taken to the brain surgery. Surgeon decided to take him urgently. Before surgery, they took blood samples from Brian to check some viruses. Surgery was successful. Brian was taken back into the intensive care unit. There were big bandage at his head. Samantha became very happy to see him.

"Oh Thank God, Thank you so much..."thanked she God.

Brian was under effect of medicines he took at that surgery. He was still out of conscious. Samantha worried but doc calmed her down. And doc went back to his table to check Brian's blood test results. Biochemical tests were looking perfect. He opened microbiological tests. His test results were like that:

"Anti HCV: 0.03 Negative

Hbsag: 0.001 Negative

Anti HIV + p24 ag: Call the laboratory director."

"Oh, no, please don't tell me he is positive." worried doc.

And he called laboratory to find out what was going on. He learned that Brian's result was weak positive a few weeks ago, they made confirmation tests, they became sure that he was negative. But, at that time, they found out that he became highly positive. Doc, talked to the Microbiology Director, Dr. Ian.

"Brian's result is highly positive right now. I talked to Dr. Hussain. He told me Brian used a HIV positive patient's needle. So, there was risk. But, at that time, exposure was in a very short time. But right now, it has been a few weeks more and now we see he is highly positive. We will surely do confirmation tests but you need to know and be careful."

"Ok Ian. Thank you for your help. I hope he is negative."

"I wish so, but it seems like he turned to positive."

"I see, ok will you inform Hussain or should i call him?"

"I can do it, see ya"

"See ya"

Dr. Ian called Dr. Hussain. Hussain was so shocked but he was expecting that result.

"How come did his blood test arrived to your lab? I didn't request yet. He was going to come a few weeks later." asked Dr. Hussain.

"He is in intensive care unit right now. He had a surgery, they took blood samples just before the surgery."

"Oh no? Are you kidding me? His grandma and best friend were in intensive care, and his best friend is HIV positive. There might be something wrong?"

"I don't think so. I heard the story, Brian had a fight, was taken to the surgery. And he is there in ICU (intensive care unit.) Call doc man."

"Oh ok Ian. Thank you for your help. See ya."

Hussain ran into the ICU. He really saw Brian laying down there. He talked to the doc in ICU. He learned all the story, and he forwarded to Samantha.

"Samantha, i am really sorry to hear and see that. Brian and you all will be ok Inshallah, please keep praying."

"What happened to him Sir? I really want to know."

"Please Samantha, don't be exhausted. He is doing alright, he may wake up soon and you guys can talk, ok?"

Samantha didn't say anything else. She kept crying and praying silently. Hussain was very sad as well. He also knew what Samantha doesn't know. Brian was positive. He had HIV from his best friend. He was trying to help him. Hussain's eyes were full too. He ran back to his room and cried.

"There is my fault too. I am responsible from the society i live in. I should have arrived these young men before all of these happened. Oh my Allah forgive me. I have been very lazy and could not do anything about them. I couldn't protect my people, my neighbors from this disaster, drug. Oh Allah,my Lord, forgive me, everyday we are losing many young men and women. I should have worked much way harder. I did nothing much inside of this fire. Forgive me My Lord, forgive me..." cried and prayed Hussain.

After a few hours later, Brian's cellphone rang. Nurse in ICU replied, they were calling from station. Commissar asked Brian to come and sign. Nurse told the situation and commissar decided to send a cop to check out. A few minutes later, hospital policeman came to ICU and approved Brian's situation. He asked doc an official paper indicates his health situation. And then he left. Hussain came back to ICU. Samantha was looking so sad and depressive. She was looking at her grandson. Hussain talked to her, tried to calm her down. But she was not responding. And Doc Gabriela came for night shift again. Gabriela was a single, beautiful, Latin doctor. Hussain was a married and a handsome doctor. Gabriela saw him in ICU, she was impressed and asked his specialization. Because Hussain was wearing his coat. Hussain replied that he was infectious diseases specialist. Gabriela moved her hands to shake him. Hussain moved his hand towards his heart.

"Please, don't misunderstand me, i can't touch you because of my beliefs." explained Hussain.

"Oh, what beliefs?" asked Gabriela surprisingly.

"I am Muslim. I can't touch other women then my family." replied Hussain.

"Oh ok, no problem for me. So, did you check Alex? He has MRSA, still not responding our antibiotics? " asked Gabriela.

"I checked the antibiogram result. We have just started linezolid today. It is the last choice, i hope he will respond tonight Miss Gabriela. " replied Hussain.

Gabriela liked that he called her with her name. She started to have some feelings with him. She offered him to drink coffee if he had time. He thanked her and told her he had his wife and son waiting for him. Gabriela was disappointed. She actually saw a ring at his finger but she wasn't sure. Gabriela thanked him too and Hussain headed to the door. Just then, abnormal voices started from the device showing the activity of Samantha's heart. All docs and nurses looked at monitor, Gabriela ran there and called nurses,

"Hurry up, she is at VF, bring me electroshock."

Her heart was beating so much faster, which was very close to stop. Gabriela gave electroshock with the helps of nurses. Hussain was watching anxiously. First shock didn't work, and then they did second, no response. Gabriela didn't stop trying. She gave another shock, and finally heart rate turned to normal. Gabriela gave orders to nurses, they gave some meds.

"Great job doc, congrats" Hussain congratulated Gabriela.

Gabriela stopped looking at his eyes and smiled, "It is my job, do you know her?"

"Oh yes, Alex and Brian are my patients, maybe you know Alex is HIV positive, and Samantha is grandma of Brian. And after here Brian will be my patient again. Unfortunately he is probably HIV positive too."

"Oh no, sorry to hear that. You become very close to your patients. Wow, awesome " smiled Gabriela.

"I try to save their lives just like you did for Samantha. Anyway, i gotta go now, have a nice shift."

Nurses were looking at Gabriela's eyes how deep they look at Hussain. Hussain left and Gabriela turned back to her place. 2 nurses were giggling. Gabriela frowned them and told them to do their job.

Hussain was going home with some thoughts about Gabriela. Her deep looks at him, her smile affected him. But he remembered his wife, son and his religion. He was very happy with them.

"A'uzu billahi min ash shaitani r rajimi Bismi 'llahi 'r-rahmani 'r-rahim " prayed Hussain in arabic. It means, " "I seek protection from God against the Devil" "In the name of God,the Most Gracious,the Most Merciful"

Hussain decided to stay away from Gabriela. He should be very careful. He came home, hugged his son and wife. He had dinner with them. He wanted them to pray for his patients in ICU. Hussain's wife Mariam asked him,

"Why do you care them that much honey? "

"Honey, they are just 15. We are all responsible from them. My prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H.) was very merciful to his society, he tried a lot to save their lives here in this world and in second world after death. He didn't eat, he fed, he didn't wear, he dressed up. He was best friend of poors, dependents, orphans. Everybody was running away to him from any problem. So, we are responsible from the people who we live together, also in this time we are responsible from all over the world. I can't ignore that big fire. I have a kid, he will have to join that society, our responsibility is very important. We must do everything we can. Allah will ask us."

"Oh honey, i am proud of you and I love you..."

"I love you too honey. You are the light of my eyes. I thank Allah made us married. Alhamdulillah (Thank Allah)..."

"Alhamdulillah my sweet hubby. " smiled Mariam.

After dinner Hussain and his family prayed. Muslims pray at least 5 times a day. First one's time starts at the end of blackness of night, and ends just before sunrise. It is called fajr pray. Second is in the middle of day around 12 pm at most of the countries. Third one is when sun starts to get down. Forth one is after sunset. Last one is around before sleeping. Hussain felt great after praying.

"Alhamdulillah, we have a great religion. I feel very relaxed and rested after every pray. We do that 5 times a day. Each one is like talking to Allah. Alhamdulillah. "

"Yes honey, it is much more happier to pray with you for me. May Allah protects our family."

Hussain hugged her and he felt regretful about first feeling when he had met Gabriela.

"Oh Lord, please forgive me. I have a great wife, and i had very bad thoughts." thought Hussain.

Meanwhile, at hospital, Brian was waking up. He felt weird and started to talk.

"Oh, where am i?"

"Oh Brian, relax. It is me, Dr. Gabriela, do you remember me? I used to talk to you about your grandmother."

"Oh, yea. I remember now. What happened to me, where am i right now? You are an ICU doc. So, am i in ICU? "

"Yes, but you are doing great. I hope we can take you into the service soon."

"Oh, how is my grandma? "

"Look, she is sleeping right now. She is doing alright, no worries. "

"Oh thank you so much Miss Gabriela. Oh i was about to forget Alex. How is he?"

" Look, he is sleeping there too. He is doing alright too, today Doc Hussain changed his antibiotic, and his fever decreased thankfully. I hope he can be taken into service soon too."

"Thank you so much Doc. You are very sweet. I appreciate your help. "

" No problem Brian. Brian, can i ask you something? "

"Yes madam"

"What do you know about Hussain? "

"Oh, he is my new friend. He is a great guy. He helps us. We met him after me and Alex' blood tests were positive. He is very helpful."

"What about his family? "

"Oh, i don't know much about his private life. But i can tell he tries his best to be a good Muslim. He prays five times a day. "

"Oh ok, thank you Brian. "

"Let me know if i can do anything you."

"I will if i need. Now, you have a rest." smiled Gabriela.

Brian looked around and checked Alex. They had tied lots of things on him. His chest, arm, his head. And Brian was feeling too much headache. He called a nurse, asked what they did to him. She told him that he had operation. Brian was so surprised, asked about policemen. She told him not to worry, doc signed a paper for him. After a few hours later, morning time was getting close, Samantha and Alex woke up. Samantha saw Brian, they smiled at each other and they talked. Samantha was very happy at the end which was very good for her health. They started to support each other. Samantha became very happy because she believed that her blessings were accepted. And she started to ask details. But Gabriela, stopped them to talk sad things. She convinced them to talk deeply after ICU. She remembered that they were in ICU.

After a few hours later, they took Brian into the service. He was doing much better. And after a few hours later they also took Samantha into the service too. They took both of them into the same room because of their wish. They started to talk. Samantha was wondering what happened to Brian. Brian just told that he was walking alone, going home. A guy that he didn't know stopped him, he was so scared and he had run away and he had fallen down and this guy punched him a lot. Samantha asked,

"Did he take money or your wallet?"

"No, grandma, i had nothing left on me, i have been using credit cards when i needed."

"Oh boy, but i don't understand. Why did he beat you that bad? He should have checked your pockets. That sounds like, he really hates you. Tell me, do you have any enemies?"

"No, grandma. I don't have an enemy" told a lie Brian.

"Anyway, thank God, you are ok right now. Please be careful my son, don't walk around at late nights."

"Ok, thanks."

Meanwhile, policemen came to visit Brian. They asked him some questions. But Brian requested policemen to testify later. He told them he still have headache. Policemen took a signed paper from Brian that he doesn't want to talk at that moment and they left. Brian didn't want to talk near his grandma.

After a few hours later, Hussain came to room to visit Brian and Samantha. They both became happy to see him. He gave them good news, supported them.

"I talked to your docs. They both say, you are both doing great and hopefully tomorrow you might be sent home Inshallah."

"Thank you so much Doc. You are my second son now if you accept." said Samantha.

"Sure, with pleasure. We are all human and we are both created from soil and our father is same, the first human and Prophet Adam."

Brian heard the name, "Adam". His face changed. He was thinking what to do. He really needed to ask Hussain, he needed suggestions. He still had no idea how Adam found him. He remembered his profile. He told him that he was computer engineer. And his uncle is commissar at station, so he probably used technology very well and found out Brian. Brian was so regretful. He met a girl, the girl left him, he tried to know why he left him. He found a way to learn which was not a good way. He cheated Adam, he played with his feelings. And he was punished.

"My stupid head, would it worth such a girl who left me without asking me anything? I was almost dead." thought Brian.

Hussain noticed Brian's situation. He wondered if Brian had learned that he was HIV positive. He asked,

"Brian, is there anything wrong?"

"No Sir. But i would like to talk to you private. I hope i will be discharged tomorrow. Can we talk?"

"Sure. Also we can start our regular meetings?"

"Yes, sure doc."

"Regular meetings?" asked Samantha.

"Yes mum. Dr. Hussain tell me about God and his religion."

"Oh you were Muslim, right?"

"Yes Samantha. He wants to know more about Allah and Islam. I want to help him, guide him."

"Oh thank you my son. I wish Brian was a religious christian, but anyway Islam would be ok too."

"Thank you Samantha. Ok, i have to go now, take care."

Meanwhile, Adam came to the hospital and asked about Brian. He got relaxed that Brian was taken into the service from ICU. He had also learned that he had operation. Adam was worried to talk to Brian. But, he was going to ask him not to be kicker like his fake profile surname "Kicker". He came in front of the door, and waited for someone to open the door. At that moment, Dr. Hussain opened door, he was leaving. He and Adam looked each other. Dr. Hussain asked who he is. Adam worried," i was looking for my friend Brian."

Hussain closed the door. And he wanted to talk to Adam.

"I know Brian very well, he didn't mention about you. What is your name?"

"My name is Adam. Please let me go and talk to him Sir. But i want to ask you how he is?"

"He is ok right now, probably he will be discharged tomorrow." replied Hussain.

"Oh thank God. Please let me visit him."

"Yes but keep that short." told Hussain and he left there but he had a suspect. He waited somewhere close to the door to observe them.

Adam opened the door. He and Brian looked each other. Brian was so shocked and surprised.

"May I come in?" asked Adam.

"Yes son, come here." accepted Samantha.

Adam wished them get well soon. He told Samantha that he was friend of Brian, he wondered about him. He shook Brian's hand. And Adam asked Brian to meet him after he is discharged. Brian was scared. but he didn't understand why Adam acted so. Adam gave Brian an envelope without noticing Samantha. And then Adam left. Samantha asked Brian who that polite man was. Brian told her that he was just an old friend.

" I merely remembered him. But that's a very nice visit." said Brian.

And then, Brian opened the envelope. Adam wrote a note for him:

"Brian,i am very sorry about what i did. I am happy you are alive. I was so scared man. You know, i felt like in love with that fake girl, "Siobhan Kicker."

I don't know why you acted like this, but i should have not beat you that bad. I want to talk to you after you discharge, and i want to know whose photos they were. I really like that girl. And, one more thing. Please, don't complain to the police about me. I would like to be your friend. Get well soon."

Brian smiled after reading that note. He hoped to be friends with him,so maybe he can help him to get Kelly. He had been very angry to Kelly, but if there was a new hope, his idea could be changed. He was waiting to be discharged impatiently.

Adam left the room. Hussain was following him, he stopped him. Adam was surprised. Adam was afraid of going to jail. He had seen some TV movies, series about how bad jails were. Hussain asked him,

"Tell me, what happened to Brian?"

"Oh Sir, please. I don't know. He is my an old friend. We met years ago, i heard that, and decided to visit him."

"How come did you hear about it?"

"Sir, are you detective or something? You can't query me."

"I am his personal doctor and friend. I have to know what is going on."

"Ask him then. I am just an old friend."

"You answer my question, how did you hear about it?"

"Just from our common friends."

"Who are they? Nobody knew about Brian's situation."

"I am late, take care." left conversation Adam.

Hussain frowned him and did let him go. Hussain didn't like Adam but now he has to go back to his patients, especially Alex in ICU. Alex was doing much better, he responded new antibiotic. They were planning to take him into the service as well. But, Dr. Hussain checked Alex' other test results. He found out his immune system was in a horrible situation. His CD4 + T lymphocytes were very low, around like 300. That meant, he was under risk of much bigger infections. And, he had to start anti HIV therapy as soon as possible. Hussain went back to ICU. Gabriela was there, she was keeping work after shift. Hussain entered ICU and they saw each other. Hussain didn't like to see her, but he had to do his work. Gabriela was happy to see him. She stood up and they both came to the front of Alex.

"Good morning" saluted Hussain.

"Good morning Mr. Hussain." replied Gabriela.

"I checked Alex' results, we need to start anti HIV therapy as soon as possible. He is under risk for other infections too. What's your plan about his staying in ICU?"

Gabriela was looking at his eyes very deeply,she was trying to effect him with her look, nurses were also seeing that.

"His fever turned to normal, if you say ok, we can take him into the service. No problem for us."

"Ok thanks. Hello Alex, how are you?"

"I feel very tired Sir. And i also feel burning starting from my stomach coming to my chest. It also makes me cough."

"Did he start oral feeding?" asked Hussain.

"Yes, he did. He is well, but he told us he has a pain during swallowing foods."

"Oh no, it might be esophagitis. Ok Alex, don't worry. We will take you into the service and we must do some more tests."

"Please Sir, help me. I am very tired, there is fatigue. I never felt like this before."

They started moving him to the service. Hussain left fast without saying anything to Gabriela. Gabriela understood she is hopeless to get close to him. She kept doing her job. Alex was taken into the infectious disease service. Hussain talked to Gastroenterologist. He also examined him, they diagnosed him esophagitis. They both think probably it was because of a fungus called _Candida albicans._ They sent samples to the microbiology laboratory. They saw white plaques at his tongue. This disease was so common at HIV positive patients. If they start therapy late, that kind of infections may lead to the diagnosis of HIV carriage. Hussain understood, Alex had this virus long time ago. He had this infection at his heart valve. Drugs and HIV made that infections easier. He was so worried about Alex. But, they had Brian's positive test very much earlier than Alex. He had to be fast. He arranged a health insurance for Alex and Brian for HIV positives. It took a few hours for Hussain. Luckily, there were only two patients waiting for him afternoon. After arrangement, he had some help from coworkers to get medicines of them. The meds arrived hospital in a few hours. Also Microbiology laboratory confirmed that Brian is really HIV positive with western blot test. Microbiology lab confirmed also it was fungus causing esophagitis of Alex. So, after finishing patients, Hussain visited Alex first. He started his anti-HIV therapy and fungus therapy. But, Alex' fever was high when Hussain visited him. Alex was laying down fainted. He ordered nurses to take blood culture samples. They woke Alex up, he hardly swallowed anti HIV meds. They also gave antifungal meds into his vessels. Hussain was trying his best. He was acting like they were his brothers. He was decisive to win this virus.

##

Chapter 10

Am i positive?

There was another problem. Brian didn't learn that he was positive yet. It would be hard to tell him that truth when his grandmother Samantha was there. Hussain had an idea. He talked to service doc and convinced him to take Brian from the room as he was going to X ray from his head. Normally control X ray should have been done, but they usually do it near bed. But this time, they did out of the room. Samantha asked and they replied.

"We didn't want you to exposure X rays." they said. So, Samantha didn't have any suspect about the situation.

Brian had his X ray and after that, Dr.Hussain met him. He told him they needed to talk.

"Brian, i have to tell you something. We need you to start these meds. You should take them daily. Ok?"

"Oh, why doc?" worried and suspected Brian.

"Well, i am sorry but they had a blood test just before you were taken into the surgery when you were staying in ICU."

"About what? Oh, is it HIV?" asked excitingly Brian.

"Unfortunately, yes, Brian. You are positive. But the good thing is we got that earlier. It is the beginning of the infection. So, we should start therapy. And also, we had confirmation test results today indicating that you are certainly positive. So, we will start therapy. I didn't want to tell you this near your grandma. You should hide this fact from her for a while. She was very sad and felt very bad during your stay at ICU. She was very depressed and you know what? She turned back to life from death. Her heart was about to stop, Miss Gabriela gave her electroshock. So, please don't tell her, ok?"

"Oh, no sir. I was worried and expecting, but not that fast." started to crying Brian.

"I don't know why this event happened, who fought you and i don't know why but look from good side. If they didn't do this test, we were going to do test a few weeks later. So, you have a chance to start therapy earlier and i arranged your and Alex' group health insurance and meds arrived today alhamdulillah. Just think like you have a diabetes. They have to take their meds on time and they have to be careful what they eat etc. So, you have such a disease if you take care of yourself well and follow our controls and visits. So, don't worry, medicine is working on HIV. Inshaallah they can have a clear solution for this virus. Ok? Now take these meds."

"Ok Sir, thank you. How is Alex by the way?"

"He is ok, he was taken to the infectious disease service. He has another infection now. So, we understand that he had this virus kinda long time ago. Because, his immune system is not good right now. You are luckier than him, because you are diagnosed at early stage. keep praying for him, insha Allah we can save him, ok?"

"Ok Sir. I appreciate all you do for us. If i had a brother, he would not do that much for me. I really appreciate doc. I really love you and i feel very happy to know you."

Hussain smiled and did let workers take him back to his room. Hussain was feeling happier to start therapy for both Alex and Brian. But he still have the pain being late to know them. Because, he feels he had to protect them from drugs.

Brian and Samantha was doing very well, doctors decided to discharge them the next day. But Alex was not doing well. He was falling asleep, fever was high even though antibiotics and antifungals. Hussain came to him with Brian. Hussain tried to talk to Alex, but was not responding. These infections was all over his body. They had tomography and they found out his brain has also being under effect of HIV. Hussain turned to Brian,  
"Brian, we did all we can for Alex. Unfortunately, it seems like it is very late. He takes antibiotics, antifungals, anti HIV therapy. He has a lot of infections all over his body, even his brain. He seems like he is very close to the end of life."

"Oh doc, am i going to die like this? "

"Alhamdulillah, you are not that late. If you follow our advices carefully, if you take your meds regularly, you can have a long healthy life. I know such patients living long and healthy. But poor Alex, he was very late to be diagnosed."

"My poor friend.. Bad friends and drugs and finally HIV became the reason of death in a very young age. "

" Hey, don't talk like that. Maybe Allah will let him get rid of this situation. He is still alive. You never know.. "

" Yes but, look at him. I wish i could have stayed away from drugs. "

Alex is dieing

They left room. After a few hours later, nurses called Hussain urgently. Alex' heart was about to stop. Hussain and Brian ran into the room, he tried his best but... Alex didn't respond again, he gave his last breath. Hussain and Brian was so sad. Hussain said something in arabic. Brian asked what it means,

"It means that "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return."{2/156}. When we hear that someone died, or a bad new, we Muslims say that. "

"Wow, you Muslims have a very close connection with God. You guys always remember him."

"We should, but we are all human. We have nefs ( lower self ). Unfortunately, we forget sometimes too. A person does bad things when he or she forgets Allah."

"I look forward to join our first meeting this Thursday night."

"Well, now we have to do our last duty to poor Alex. May Allah forgive him."

"Amen..."

They joined Alex' funeral ceremony. Brian told them he was not a religious boy. He never heard anything from him about God or Jesus. But, they did funeral ceremony as a christian. But, there was not much people. The priest, Brian, Samantha and a few workers. Hussain stood up nearby them. He prayed according to his beliefs. After funeral, Brian asked why he didn't stand up with them. Hussain said,

"You know i am Muslim, my praying style is different. So, i wished to pray by myself, because i feel guilty, i should have met him before all of these happened. I should have saved him."

"Oh ok, but why did you stand up?"

"My prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H.) was sitting and talking with his friends. At that time, a Muslim funeral was going to the graveyard, he stood up, after a while a Jewish funeral passed nearby them, he also stood up too. So, we take care all humanity. We don't hate people just because they are not Muslims. In our holy book Qur'an says,

"There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. So whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing."{2/256}

So, that's everybody's own choice. Everybody is free to choose their religion. Islam is certain. It is a religion of peace."

"But, we hear crazy things about Muslims. They are killing people, even Muslims and saying that victims were not Muslims. Who decides who is Muslim or not?"

"That's a very big provocation, fitna. In Islam, killing a person unfairly is like killing all humanity.

"Because of that, We decreed upon the Children of Israel that whoever kills a soul unless for a soul or for corruption [done] in the land - it is as if he had slain mankind entirely. And whoever saves one - it is as if he had saved mankind entirely. And our messengers had certainly come to them with clear proofs. Then indeed many of them, [even] after that, throughout the land, were transgressors." {5/32}

Nobody can know who really believes or not. We have to act according to what they say. In my prophet's (PBUH) time, there were hypocrites. They were saying that they were Muslims, but actually they were working for fitna. But Rasulullah (Allah's prophet) P.B.U.H. acted like they were Muslims. He PBUH didn't kill them. In one war, one of his friend was about to kill a non Muslim. He begged him not to kill him and he said "I accept Islam now, please don't kill me. I swear, i witness there is no God but Allah, and i witness Muhammad PBUH is his servant and prophet." But he killed him. Rasulullah P.B.U.H. heard about that, asked him why he killed him even though he said so. He said,

"He said so because of death fear. He actually didn't believe."

"Did you open his heart and check that out?" asked Prophet PBUH.

He didn't like that situation. He never became willing to fight, kill. Jihad is not only killing for Allah, jihad is vitalizing people with invocation of Allah, bringing them the beauty of Islam. But, unfortunately, nowadays, some malignant people take an advantage of ignorance of people, even non Muslims. They make them believe the religion they fabricate, and they kill other Muslims with them. It is so sad. We have to work against these things. We have to learn real Islam and help people know it, even non Muslims. Because, all people around the world, even little kids, girls, boys are under risk of this fitna. May Allah protects all of us."

"You talk very nice doc. I am happy to hear all of these from you. I didn't know much about Islam before you. And all i know was just the news, etc i heard. All were bad things. All were about blood and tears. Thank you for informing me."

"It is a pleasure for me to talk to you about real Islam. Now, if you wish, let's talk about your HIV. You remember, you gave blood tests just after you were discharged from hospital?"

"Yes ,sir. How are the results?"

"Well, HIV RNA is kinda high around 200.000. That's normal, we were expecting like that. Good new is your CD4+ T lymphocytes are bigger than 500. It shows your immune system is good right now. But, you have to take care of yourself very well. Sleep well, feed well, stay away from stress. Alright?"

"Sure Sir. But you know life is very hard. My grandmother has been like a kid after heart attack. She is very emotional. She cries when i don't do her wishes. And, she will probably lose her job. I need to find a job soon. I left school. I have no girl friend, no job, no money, no health...How can i stay away from stress?"

"Give me list what you need at your home. If you accept it, i can buy your need at home monthly."

"Oh sir, thank you so much, i can't accept it."

"Please man, we are brothers in creation. Our father is same, first prophet " Adam". Let me help you. Allah gave me, so i need to help people as a thank to Allah."

"Oh wow, i have to ask my grandmother."

"No, don't ask her. Accept that until you find a job at least then."

"Ok Sir. I accept it as an owe. I will pay it back,ok?"

"No problem. If you get rid of all problems, you can pay me so much later." smiled Hussain.

### Oh Adam, again?

Brian reminded Adam again when Hussain told about first prophet and person Adam. Brian had been going to the station to sign the papers daily. Policemen asked about who he had fought with. Brian didn't complain and he told them it was an old friend who had misunderstood him, and they were ok after all. Policemen didn't force too much and did let him go. So, Brian was planning to call Adam and meet him. Adam wrote his cellphone number at that envelope he gave to Brian. He called Adam, he told about situation at station. Adam thanked to him, and Adam offered him a dinner outside. They were going to meet dinner. Brian told Adam everything. He told him about Kelly.

"I really liked him man. But i didn't understand what happened, she stopped talking to me suddenly. We even didn't fight. I tried to find out the reason. So, i used that girl's photos and fake profile."

"So, what was the reason?"

"Can i trust you? I still like her. Maybe you can help me, but i will give you my secrets."

"Ok, don't worry. I was so furious at you at first, but i was almost killing you. So, i promise i won't hurt you again. We are friends now. You sound such a good guy."

"Thank you Adam. I have a sad, long life story. My parents were divorced and my mother left me with my grandmother. She is an old woman. She couldn't educate me well. I had very bad friends. And, unfortunately, i started to use drugs. One day, my best friend who was also a drug addict was very bad. He was a homeless boy and he was living in rural area where gangs try to administer. I visited him, he was having very high fever, i called ambulance. Ambulance could not enter the place we were. I had to bring him and this gangs stopped me. They asked me either money or drugs to let him go to hospital. I didn't have money, i knew where the drugs were that Alex hided. I went to take them and when i was back, policemen were there. They were stopping everybody they saw in that street. I was carrying drugs, so i had to run away. It was night and dark, so i threw drugs away from me when i was running away. But at the end, they caught me and took me station. So, your uncle, Kelly's father also works at that station. So, he told Kelly to stop talking to me. I even talked to him, but didn't work out. So, i am really sorry about this fake profile, but i had to find the reason why she left me suddenly. Do you understand me?"

"Oh wow. Man, you better forget Kelly. Kelly is a kinda elite girl. You can't be happy with her. You can't satisfy her needs."

"If you say so..." curved his head to the front Brian.

"Anyway, i am happy you are alive and you didn't complain to the police about me. Thank you and i am so sorry too."

"No problem but how come did you find me?"

"I am a computer engineer man. You tried to find a way to learn why Kelly left you, so i tried to find out why Siobhan left me. He,he, he..."

"Hehe, he.." giggled Brian.

"Man, i really did like your chat as Siobhan. Photos also were awesome. But after you stopped and closed the account, i had a suspect. I found out your ip address, and then cell phone number and i found you. I followed you almost 2 days. You were mostly in hospital and that guy doc, was with you. So, that night my anger reached to the top and you know the rest...But after that fight, i was so worried and regretful. Because a woman from a window saw me and she was calling somewhere. So, i had to hide. Thankfully, ambulance was very fast. I also followed your situation at hospital too. I was very happy when they took you into the service from ICU." said Adam.

And his hand moved toward Brian's hand. He held his hand and said,

"I am happy you are alive."

Brian felt weird. He said this like he was holding a girl's hand. It sounded like his looks changed. Brian had a suspect if Adam was bisexual or gay.

"Well, i suggest you not to touch me,because i have another secret."

"Oh, what is it?" moved his hand back Adam.

"You know, my that friend died because of infections and drugs. He was taking drugs by needles, he had HIV from a friend's needles. HIV collapsed his immune system and needle's holes in his skin made other microorganisms enter his body easier and he had many infections and he died. And i was also using drugs by needles. And unfortunately, one time i used his needle. And,we have just found out that i am also HIV positive. I have started therapy but i carry this virus."

"Oh no..." surprised Adam.

"Is my Siobhan gonna die?" asked silently Adam. Brian understood what he said.

"Hey i am not Siobhan,and yes, all people are going to die one day. Do you see anyone living for 1000 years?"

Adam started to cry. He said, "I thought i had found true love first time in my life. And then, she left me and i found out she was not her. And then, i found you the owner of her words, and now i am losing you."

"Hey Adam, i am not a girl. Please, turn to yourself. And, by the way i am not gay or bisexual if you have such an intention. You should know that." said Brian suddenly.

"Oh no, you got me wrong Brian. I am really sorry to hear all of these. But, can we stay friends? If you need help, i can try my best. You can't know how lonely i am. I am always in front of computer, either busy with work or with lots of fake friends online. This social media makes me depressed. I just need real friends. Would you be mine?"

"Yours? Your what?"

"Friend, man. Take it easy."

"Are you straight?"

"Well yes. I just need you as a friend. Don't get me wrong."

"Oh ok then. But i better go now, i have an appointment."

"Oh, with who?" asked Adam. Adam's these questions were making Brian have suspects about his sexual preference.

"Hey, i am a free man, ok? I can meet anyone i want. I have to go now. Thanks for dinner." said Brian.

And Brian left him. Brian was thinking to gaining a new friend but he was disappointed.

## Chapter 11

Grandma, i am...

Brian turned back to his grandmother Samantha. She asked him to tell everything happened to him. She wanted him to be her best friend.

"We are both all alone in this life. We have to connect each other very tightly. So, don't hide anything from me. Don't worry because of my heart situation. I feel myself more mature and about the events i am like, "Whatever ". Do you understand me? I want to know everything and i want to guide you, help you. "

So, Brian stopped at first, but he also thought Samantha has a right to know everything. But, he was so worried if she would have another heart attack suddenly because of his problems. He decided to hide HIV positiveness of him from her at first. But, he told about Kelly and the fight with Adam.

"Oh my boy, i hope that would be a lecture for you. Don't wonder too much. There are lots of beautiful girls. There is a saying, " It all happens to someone because of wondering. " So, don't wonder ok? If she left you without talking to you, it means she doesn't deserve you. I hope you find a great girl but you are very young now."

"Oh yes, grandma. I have to forget girls now. I have to find a job. Do you have any idea? "

"You know my boss is a nice guy, maybe you can work there? But the kitchen smells horrible, I am not sure if you can handle it. "

"Oh grandmother, sure. You have been handling it for me for many years. You raised me. How can i pay it my sweet mother, grandmother?"

"Oh your mother, i can't believe that her eyes got blind that much. She left us." started to cry Samantha.

"Oh mum, please. You are my mum now and my best friend. Laura chose her way, she'll have to answer in second world, God will ask her. I am so happy to be with you, you are a great mother. "

They hugged each other after this emotional talk. Brian remembered his responsibilities. Now he had to be a man. He sent Hussain text message about job idea. Hussain suggested him to start a work in a hospital. He may learn a lot at hospitals, and it would be better for him to be close to the hospital. He accepted and asked for help. Hussain promised to talk to the director of the hospital. Meanwhile Brian was checking jobs online. He tried some websites, all were stealing his hopes and consuming his time. He didn't find a way to make money online. He tried survey websites, they were just using him. Hussain called Brian a few days later. The director wanted to talk to him. Hussain arranged an appointment for Brian. Brian was very excited and they talked. Hussain was also present at the meeting. Hussain became sponsor for Brian. The director accepted him as a cleaner for infectious diseases service. So, Hussain and Brian became co-workers. Brian was walking on air. It was his first job and a hospital job. Brian started to work the next day. So, new adventures in infectious diseases service started for Brian.

First day at infectious diseases service

Brian was very excited at first day. There were 7 rooms for infectious diseases patients at this service. Rooms were all full at first day of Brian. Josh was chief of cleaners in infectious diseases service. He told Brian his job. He warned him from a room,

"There is a guy, here at room 6. He is HIV positive and has tuberculosis infection. So, don't get into his room without mask and other protective wearings. He is in a very bad situation, he is vomiting blood. Don't touch him without gloves, ok?"

"Ok Sir."

"Start cleaning rooms from 4. Rooms 4, 5, 6 and 7 are yours. Clean them in the morning and afternoon. You have to work hard, we have to keep here very clean. We are fighting against microorganisms here, and the most dangerous of them."

After this short lecture, Brian started working. He understood the job was hard. Patients were being charged daily at rooms 4 and 5. He was changing sheets, cleaning all of the inside of the rooms whenever a patient charged. But the guy at room 6, he was staying every day and he was getting worse. He entered his room for daily morning cleaning. He was coughing.

" Hey good morning man." Brian saluted that patient.

" Man, you know HIV sucks man. I never took it serious before, but it was serious to collapse my body. I feel very tired and alone. "

" Take it easy please. You will be alright man. Docs are doing their best for you. " Brian tried to support him.

"Oh man, they surely do, but i ruined myself. I didn't follow their advices, i didn't go to the controls properly. I deserved this f... life. "

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you get the virus? " asked Brian.

"I went to Thailand man. I paid a woman to sleep with me. I heard AIDS was very common in Thailand but i was also drunk. So, i f... up everything, i did all to myself and i am dying here."

Meanwhile, Doc Hussain entered the room, he saw both of them, Brian was wearing his mask. He checked the patient, listened to his heart. After examination, he wrote his order. The patient asked,

"I am going to die soon doc. I did a lot of sins, can you call me a priest? I want to confess my sins and i want to die in peace? "

"Sure, if you want so. But i would like to tell you something. I am a Muslim, and in my religion we confess our sins only to Allah which you call God. We confess to him and we ask him to forgive us. We don't let another person know our secrets between us and Allah. I will call you a priest, but i just wanted to tell you that too."

"Thank you doc, i am not a religious man. But, i don't want to go to hell. I realize that when I am close to die. I am open to anything to make me get rid of hell."

"I can help you if you want. My suggestion is for you to convert to Islam whenever before you die. "

"I want to talk to the priest first doc."

"Ok, sure." said Dr. Hussain. Brian was attracted from Hussain's connection to his religion and Allah. He was like dedicated himself to serve this religion and people. What did make this connection so strong? His interest was increasing by the time he learns more about Hussain.

Hussain checked his blood test results. His CD4 + lymphocytes were about 200. His immune system was weak. He decided to give him some natural foods increasing lots of vitamins. He was giving him warmish water with lemon squeezed inside of it. Lemon is full of vitamin C and it is perfect for all parts of body. He was also bringing him kiwi, orange daily. Hussain was really interested in his patients. They had a test 1 week later. His CD4 + lymphocytes were increasing even though the increase was not so much. That made both of them very happy. Hussain also advised Brian those fruits to consume daily. This guy started to do better.

That guy had a catheter, which directly opens into the vessels. They were giving medicine, serum from this catheter. One morning, Hussain found out the lid of this catheter was open. He got mad. He asked the patient who left this so, he said the nurse on duty last night. Hussain couldn't find her at that day, because she left in the morning after duty. Hussain made a little operation and he removed the catheter and sent it to the microbiology lab to culture it. Because, it was very likely to get infection from that opening. And so it did. After a few hours later, this guy started to have fever. He was taking anti HIV medicines, anti tuberculosis medicines and now he had to take antibiotics. Hussain was turning red and crazy. He gathered all of the nurses. He called everybody even not working. He wanted all of them to join that meeting.

"You ladies, you nurses, you are ladies, which should be symbol of mercifulness, helpfulness. All of these patients need you, they are defenseless, weak. You can either help them or leave them alone, or!!!!....or you can harm them. That's all on your hands. If you do your job properly, you can help them, and maybe even save them. If you don't do anything, you can't help them, but you can get your salary. So, maybe it is not problem for you. But if you do your job wrongly, you can kill them. Now this guy, room 6 is burning with high fever. He is taking anti HIV medicines, anti tuberculosis medicines, now we have to start antibiotics, and maybe we will also have to add antifungals if microbiology lab. sees any fungus. Do you know why he is in that situation? It is because a nurse friend didn't do her job properly. She did it wrongly. She left the catheter open without lid. You know what? That's a very big fault. If he will not get well soon, i will follow the rest of this mistake. Ladies, this is a very important job. Take care of your job. Some nurses complain about not being taken care enough. You all have to take care of your job first. Otherwise,don't expect anything from anyone. Just do it or leave it." said Hussain.

Hussain was very angry. Normally, nurses like him. They had never seen him like this before. They understood the seriousness of the situation. The guilty person was so sad and ashamed, her face turned to the red. Nobody said anything, they all turned back to their work.

Hussain was busy with other patients too. There were 3 infectious diseases specialist working at the service. Hussain had 3 patients and policlinic examinations. He called Brian. He wanted him to be careful about the patient at the room 6. He wanted Brian to be observer about nurses and other workers. Brian accepted the duty. Hussain also asked Brian how it was going with HIV.

"I am doing great, Sir. I follow your advices, i escape from crowded areas, i sleep well, i eat fruits regularly, i consume water with lemon. It is awesome. I stay away from junk food. My life is tidy. I am making money and my grandmother is having rest at home. We are very happy."

"See, if you take care of yourself well, you don't need to worry. How is your weight? "

"Great sir, i keep my form. I didn't lose weight."

"Cool, ok see you tonight."

They were having their regular meeting at Hussain 's house. Brian's heart was very close to Islam. The more he learned, the more he liked. Brian came to Hussain's house. He never seen his wife. She was staying in another room.

"Let's read from this book: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/21551,

"Islam and its sublıme nature "To Him (Allah) belong the Most Beautiful Names" (Tâ-Hâ, 20:8) Throughout the history of mankind all religions, the first of which was revealed to Adam, have in essence been the same. The only religious changes that have occurred have been in regard to social laws since the communities of man have been in a continual process of development. Nevertheless, these changes have not pertained to the essence of these faiths. Thus, all religions which have been revealed from Adam (a.s), who was the first human being and the first prophet, up to the last Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) are in fact at the core level essentially the same as Islam. Therefore the Prophet (pbuh) said: Narrated by Abu Huraira: "I heard Allah's Apostle saying, 'I am the nearest of all people to the son of Mary, and all the prophets are paternal brothers, and there has been no prophet between me and him (i.e. Jesus)'." (Bukhari, Volume 4, Book 55, Number 651) Therefore it is a wrong supposition to think that Islam is restricted solely to the Qur'an, since it contains all the previous religions that have been revealed by Allah. Of course, here the word religion signifies their original forms prior to their distortion by human beings. The Qur'an confirms this in the following verse: "The Religion before Allah is Islam (submission to His Will): Nor did the People of the Book dissent therefrom except through envy of each other, after knowledge had come to them. But if any deny the Signs of Allah, Allah is swift in calling to account."(Al-i Imrân, 3:19) This verse also demonstrates that Islam is the sole solution for the problems of humanity. Here we are referring to the Qur'anic declaration that it is salvation both in this world and in the Hereafter. The following verse clarifies this fact even more clearly: "If anyone desires a religion other than Islam (submission to Allah), never will it be accepted of him; and in the Hereafter He will be in the ranks of those who have lost (All spiritual good)." (Al-i Imrân, 3:85) Hence, Islam is a religion that has been continually revealed from Adam through to the last Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) , and has been perfected through the stages of human history, finding its most perfect form in the Qur'an. The description of Islam can be summarized in two principles: 1. Faith (Iman): To believe in the five principles of Islam sincerely. 2. Good deeds ('amal al-sâlih): To do good deeds that are demanded by Allah with sincere faith. Islam practiced under these two principles organizes our life, thought, and behavior in a balanced way. Islam is a path that leads the believer to Allah by connecting logic, ear, tongue and heart to divine light. If the beauties of Islam were to fall on a piece of rock, it would turn the rock into soft fertile soil. On the other hand, the hearts of those far from Islam are turned into hard rocks. Only Islam has the ability to soften and cure them. Islam perfects the intellectual and practical life of human beings and takes them from darkness into light. Those who embrace Islam are elevated from the lowest of states to the highest peak. It has the capacity to transform an ordinary human being into a perfect man. Islam achieves this spiritual transformation by returning man to his original form. Islam is a robe of guidance extended from Allah to all of humanity. Those who submit to it, will rise above their mortality and will attain the elixir of immortality. Allah has summoned all prophets, who are beings at the peak of servanthood to Allah, to one condition: "When Allah said unto them: Surrender! Each of them said: I have surrendered to the Lord of the Worlds." In the personality of the great prophet Abraham (a.s) this reality is declared in the Qur'an: "When his Lord said unto him: Surrender! he said: I have surrendered to the Lord of the Worlds." (Baqara, 2:131) This submission is realized in experiencing the closeness of Allah through mentioning His names. In fact, the aim of all forms of worship is to attain proximity to Allah, to attain to the knowledge and love of Allah. One preacher was speaking in a mosque about death and its aftermath. He was explaining those questions that we will be asked after burial such as: "How did you spend your life, where did you spend your wealth and health, did you practice what you learned, were you following the commandments of Islam and did you refrain from what was forbidden? He was speaking about details and was not addressing the essence. Among the listeners, the great Sufi Master Shibli was present, and in order to remind the preacher of the essence of the matter he said: "O preacher! You have forgotten the most important question that Allah will ask His slaves in the Hereafter. When we meet Allah in the Hereafter, He will ask: O my servant! I was with you at all times, whose company were you in?" Based on this form and level of respect, Islam is to lead a life where we feel the presence of Allah at all times: "And He is with you wheresoever ye may be." (Hadîd, 57:4) The well being of the earth and the sky is dependent upon our obedience to Allah. In the absence of this obedience, the wrath of Allah will descend upon us. "Corruption has appeared in the land and the sea (the order of the universe has broken, natural calamities appeared) on account of what the hands of men have wrought, that He may make them taste a part of that which they have done, so that they may return (from the wrong path that they follow)." (Rûm, 30:41) What this verse means is that abandoning Islam causes corruption of the harmony and order of nature. Here natural disasters are perceived as warnings to return to Islam."

So, i guess that's enough for tonight." ended the meeting Hussain.

Brian was about to give a decision. He was considering to be a Muslim. He decided to ask his grandmother. Because he promised her to tell her everything. He asked her idea, and she asked what Islam wants from him.

"It wants me to have a great connection with God. I have to wake up early before sunrise when it is dark. I have to clean some parts of my body with clean water which is performing ablution, after cleaning i have to pray. Praying is like talking to Allah in Islam. Muslims start day like this every day. And i have to be very careful during the day, i should not forget Allah, i should never tell a lie, never drink, never use drugs. I should never hurt anyone, i should keep smiling and helping people. It is also advised to visit patients, relatives regularly. I should stay away from fornication, i should marry with someone appropriate. I should keep my eyes away from looking at women sexually. I should be a very nice person. This is real Islam. And i should help people, even animals. And i should be very honest at my job or whatever i do. That's what Islam wants from me." replied Brian.

"This doctor taught you all of these? "

"Yes mum. Look at him, he is a gift from God. He saved me. Look, how much i changed?"

"You are right my son, i respect your decision. You can do whatever you want. I would be happy if you become a religious boy even if you are not christian."

"Aww, thank you so much my grandmother. I love you so much."

The next day, Brian was very excited and happy. He decided surely, he was thinking he found the happiness. When he was going to hospital, he saw that guy who was the leader of gangs in the rural area where Alex used to live. He stopped him and asked about Alex. Brian told him that Alex was dead because of AIDS. That guy squeezed Brian's neck.

"I will search about it, if you're telling me a lie, i will kill you. And, you still didn't bring me drugs or money. I didn't forget about it."

"You know that night ambulance called the police, i was coming to you with drugs but policemen stopped me suddenly. I had to run and throw it away and i was taken to the station. It was the last drug Alex told me about. I don't know any other. "

"Why not? Don't you also use drugs? "

"Nope, no more. I did quit because i had HIV from Alex' needle. Ok? I am positive, ok?"

Gangs were worried and they did let him go. Brian was surprised and told himself, "There are really good sides of HIV." and smiled.

He understood why Allah has just made him met these gangs. He got rid of them by help of HIV. He started to like being positive. Yes, he was HIV positive but he turned to positive about all of his life. Now, he was about to change his life with his doctor, Hussain.

The day was friday. Brian came to doctors room very early in the morning. He started to clean their room very well. After then, he passed to clean his rooms. Meanwhile, Hussain came with a plastic package and a bag. He was also very excited. Doctors had breakfast at their room, others were very surprised about the job Brian did it in there. After breakfast, Hussain called Brian to his policlinic room. He locked the door and asked him if he was ready to be Muslim. Brian was very exciting. Hussain asked,

"Oh Brian, is it all of your own decision to convert to Islam?"

"Yes, Sir. It is completely my own decision."

"Did anyone press you?"

"No, Sir."

"Ok then, repeat after me. Ashhadu..."

"Ashhadu"

"An la"

"An la"

"Ilaha illallah"

"Ilaha illallah"

"Wa ashhadu anna"

"Wa ashhadu anna"

"Muhammadan abduhu wa rasulihi"

"Muhammadan abduhu wa rasulihi"

"I witness there is no god but Allah"

"I witness there is no god but Allah"

"And i witness Muhammad is his servant and prophet."

"And i witness Muhammad is his servant and prophet."

"Welcome to Islam, my brother. You were my brother in creation, now you are my brother in religion. Our connections are stronger than brothers from same parents."

"I always feel so since we met, Sir. You helped me out a lot. I believe you are a gift of Allah to me. Thank you so much."

"It is my pleasure. Brian, there is a very big fire all over the world. People are burning, animals are burning. We have to save them all we can. We are responsible. Look at news, we hear killing news everyday. People are going crazy. Drugs, rapes, harming each other, fights, kills etc. are very common all over the world. Islam is a religion for peace. We have to learn and leave it very well, so we can be examples for people around us. We can't force anybody to be Muslim, choosing religion is everyone's own decision and everybody is responsible from their own decision. But we have to be a good sample, showing them the right. They should leave bad things at least. This is why i chose being a doctor. I wanted to be a good sample and help people. Now, i feel like you will be one of my best helper. What do you think?"

"Sure Sir. You are absolutely right. I can find poor teenagers in Alex' situation. Maybe we can help them, save them from that life. I promise you i will try my best. But, it is not easy. There are gangs among them. For example, when Alex was sick, i called the ambulance to take Alex away from there, these gangs didn't let us go, they even didn't let ambulance enter. Ambulance called the police, after then they took Alex to hospital. We need to corporate, there are big risks. But i am ready to die in Allah's way, to save Allah's servants from those dump sites."

"Ok Brian. Oh Brian, we should give you an Islamic name. I prefer Bilal, what would you say?"

"Wow, that's very nice. Bilal, sure. My new name is Bilal."

"Ok Bilal, take this book, you should do major ablution today. It is a great guide for a new convert Muslim. You can follow it and ask me anything you want anytime. Now, let's go back to our work. We should start helping people from here, especially the patient at room 6. He really needs help. Ok, let's go."

Brian was happy with his new name. He was like he was born again. He started his work back. The days were passing so. He was meeting with Hussain regularly about his HIV positiveness status and Islamic meeting. The more he learned, the better boy he became. His grandmother was very happy from new Muslim Brian as Bilal.

They tried a lot for the patient at room 6, but he was getting really worse. Hussain and Bilal were in front of him at that day.

"Doc, i am going to die soon. I am a christian, but i have fears, what if Islam was the right religion, where will i go in second life, hell or paradise?"

"Well, Islam accepts first christians when Jesus was sent. If you believe in Islam, you will believe in Jesus too with one very important different. Because Jesus was prophet. So, if you die without converting to Islam, Allah knows where to send people, but our prophet says, "The key of the paradise is faith. Faith to Allah and his prophet Muhammad PBUH. Allah sent Muhammad PBUH after Jesus as a prophet. It was also written in real bible. His name was Ahmad, Faraklit in original Bible. So, man if you believe in Islam, you won't lose anything."

"Oh..oh..." gave the patient his last breathe.

Hussain and Bilal looked at him. Hussain tried all he could but there were no response. "Did he believe, Sir?" asked Bilal.

"Allah knows Bilal. I saw something changed at his face. But we can't know his heart."

Then, they left the room, they took off their masks. Bilal said,

"That's the second death from HIV i have seen."

"Hey, HIV didn't kill directly. HIV destroyed his immune system. He was very weak and he was open to other infections. Tuberculosis, bacteria, fungus, other viruses were also the reason. His CD4 + cells were very low. So, don't worry, be happy. You take care of yourself very well. You are also lucky to see those patients. It can motivate you to take care of yourself. Take care of yourself well man, the humanity needs you."

Bilal smiled. He liked that Hussain was finding a perfect solution to all problems. He was a real guide for him. His life has been tidy with his help.

After this patient, the room 6 was disinfected and was not used for 48 hours. After then, they opened it and a few hours later, a fainted HIV positive patient was brought to the emergency department by an ambulance. They called Hussain to check. Hussain was kinda HIV specialist among the infectious disease specialists. Hussain checked the patient and they replaced the patient into the room 6. Hussain was informing other docs about the patient,

"The patient is Caterina Marinelli. She has been working as a streetwalker without control. There are no blood tests, no examination. They took blood samples here in ER (Emergency Room), and strongly HIV positive. They are working on confirmation tests. Caterina was brought by an ambulance. 911 was called from someone saw her laying down fainted this morning in a rural area. Her vital findings seem ok. I took HIV panel tests. We are waiting for results. She woke up at ER, but she doesn't want to tell anything. I ordered her anti HIV meds. I also want to know the opinion of neurologists and shrinks. She was doing some weird movements during examination. Her face expression is like she has a very bad headache. Any ideas?"

"It is difficult to say anything without taking a good story from her, but seems like she has a really serious situation about her CNS (Central nervous system) with HIV. So might be,

  1. CNS lymphoma in HIV,

  2. Mycobacterial infection,

  3. Fungal infection,

  4. Neurosyphilis,

  5. Could be other viral CNS infections.

We really need to check STD panels because of her job." said Dr. Ellie Tiger. Hussain agreed her. Hussain started on job after discussing the patient with his co-worker doctors.

So Hussain asked a consultation with neurologists and shrinks. Neurologist Dr. Chris checked the patient Caterina, he tried to talk to her, Caterina was not responding. And at the end of the examination, her fever raised. Dr. Chris wrote his note,

"The patient has HIV and high fever, examination findings indicates focal encephalitis (infection of the brain). It is advised to search possible causes."

Hussain was trying to find a way to connect with Caterina or at least someone who knows her. He asked Bilal's idea. Because Bilal used to live in same rural area.

" I don't know her, i never seen her before, but i am sure some people in this area may know about her. But i can't go ask anyone. My suggestion is to ask police or to wait for someone visits her."

"Good idea Bilal. Thank Allah you are here."

"Anytime, sir. I thank Allah a lot. "

Hussain called the police, informed about her. The policeman works at the hospital came to service and talked to Hussain.

"Caterina Marinelli, she is 27 years old, she moved here from Italy 5 years ago. She worked at some hotels, also she studied tourism here for two years. There has been no job record for last couple of years. Her latest address is at gangs area. She never got out of country since she entered here. That's all we have."

"Thank you so much."

Hussain was checking her in two ways. One is medically, other is socially. He did her tests,

"Oh, CD4+ cells are 100. She is very probably having a bad infection. We have Toxo Ig G and Ig M positive, and about syphilis we have VDRL positive, TPHA negative. So, she probably has toxoplasmosis with HIV. We should perform brain MRI." talked Hussain with Dr. Ellie.

"And if we can do Toxo PCR test from her cerebrospinal fluid, we can be more surely about the diagnosis." added Dr. Ellie.

"Oh yes, thanks a lot Ellie. I will let you know the results."

Hussain did all tests. He took a sample from her cerebrospinal fluid. It was very difficult, because she was not cooperating with Hussain and nurses. They took the sample from her waist. It was kinda painful, and she screamed. They also did brain MRI. MRI showed several enhancing lesions in the right parietal lobe, and the large, main mass showed rim-enhancement. And PCR for toxoplasmosis was positive. So, they were sure about diagnosis. They started the therapy.

At the second day, Bilal was cleaning the room 6.

"Hey you! " said Caterina.

Bilal was so surprised, he came close to her.

"I remember you, you must be Alex' friend Brian. "

"Oh, how come you know me?"

"Alex was working for me. I used to be leader of gangs girlfriend. Alex was my bodyguard for a while. He was a nice boy. I haven't heard about him for a year. How is he? "

"Oh, you are that Caterina. Alex never told me about you. When he was away, he was saying he was busy at work. Wow, what happened then?"

"We did something wrong, we liked each other, the leader suspected, he started to sell me as a prostitute, and he didn't give Alex another job. Alex started to lose his everything. The leader, code name Snake was very mad at him. I know he forced Alex to start using drugs. He made the first shot, and needle was owned by a HIV positive boy. How is he? How is my little sweetie Alex?"

"Oh no, he is dead right now, unfortunately it was too late for him when he was diagnosed AIDS. "

"Oh, no. And what about me? Why am i here?"

"I am not a doctor. Ask your doctor, Mr. Hussain. He is a great doctor. He would do his best."

"I am so scared of talking. Snake can kill me even here."

"Look, you should talk to Hussain first. He can inform commissar and an officer can wait for you here."

"Oh commissars, i know snake has commissar friends. They inform him before operations...He gives them lots of money. Snake is very powerful, i should have turned back to Italy. "

Someone knocked the door.  
"Hey Brian, work faster. You got 3 more rooms and a hall. Hurry up. "

That was Sivan. She was the chief of staff. She was not a nice person. She knew about Brian's friendship with Hussain. Brian changed, he became Bilal. So, he had to be patient, Hussain told him the secret of happiness,

"Don't hurt, don't be hurt."

So, he was trying not to fight with anyone. He told Caterina that he would come back after finishing his job. Bilal was thinking about what all Caterina told. Alex never told about her and the job that snake gave him. What if Caterina was telling a lie? But she asked him if he was Alex' friend. So, she must have seen him before. He needed Hussain's advice what to do. He decided to talk during lunch break. He told Hussain everything. Hussain was surprised.

"Oh man, what a guy that snake is. He is a real cruel. What can we do about him?"

"Sir, it is kinda very hard. Now, i understood why he was not arrested. We need Caterina's help. We can't trust police. If they trust her, she can be our agent to collect evidences, and we can sue him with those evidences."

"Yes, but this is very risky for Caterina. They also know you. We need someone they don't know. Do you know anyone can help us? I really wish him to go to jail. Otherwise, he will hurt others."

"Sir, what does Islam say about such a situation? For example, can i kill him?"

"No, we can't punish them, but we can't ignore the cruelty. We should try our best to help people to get rid of his cruelty, but that should be all legally. Our Prophet Mohammad PBUH says,  
"Help your innocent and cruel brothers."

"Oh Rasulullah, (Prophet of Allah) P.B.U.H, we understand how to help innocent people, but how can we help our cruel brothers? " asked his PBUH friends.

"You should help them by stopping their cruelty." replied Rasulullah P.B.U.H.  
So, if we can stop him doing all of these, we will be also helping him too Inshallah. " said Hussain.

"Wow, real Islam is a real religion of the peace." said Bilal.

"So, any idea about someone can help us? "

"Nope sir. That's a very risky job."

"I know some Muslim friends but they are being watched by the police just because they are Muslims. Anyway, let's keep doing our job and praying. May Allah opens us a new door."

"Yes Sir, but won't you arrange a policeman for waiting in front of her room? She is under risk."

" Police is following situation, they informed me. If she doesn't want a protection, i can't do anything. I will try to talk to her."

Hussain went to the room 6. Hussain opened the door and he found out Caterina Marinelli was choked. She was dead. Hussain got crazy again. He called the responsible nurse. Everybody working in the service was very surprised. Someone entered the room when everyone was having lunch, and he killed her, nobody heard Caterina. They recorded the name of visitor. Hussain called the police, they checked the cameras and found the murderer. His name was Bill Booker. He was called "BB". He was being searched for two years. He also killed some other people for probably money. So, he was a murderer for hire. This guy was very professional.

Hussain looked at Bilal so sadly.  
"We lost someone else, maybe i should have called the police as you told me about her."

"Sir, don't blame yourself please. Even if you called, policemen would not run. I don't believe in police, we just should stay away from those people. We can do anything if police asks help. Otherwise, it is very risky to follow all of these. We have to help people here, sir."

"Oh Bilal...  
There was prophet Abraham who worked for Allah's religion, to spread the belief of oneness of Allah, was decided to be burnt in a very big fire. The king made his soldiers prepare a very big fire which was not seen before. There was an ant carrying water to put that fire out, they asked him,

"Why do you carry this? You can not put it off with just small amount of water?"

"I know i can not put it off, but at least my side would be clear. I am at Abraham's side which is the right way." answered the ant.

So, there is a fire, and i am just trying to make my side clear. Allah will ask me. But, you know, it is very hard to do others job." said Hussain sadly.

"Ok then, just do your job and trust in Allah.  
Remember this ayah from the Holy Book Qur'an:  
" **Perhaps, [O Muhammad], you would kill yourself with grief that they will not be believers" (Ash-Shu'ara', 3)**

So, please, don't be so sad, i witness you are doing everything you have to do." tried to support him Bilal.

"I should write a social project about HIV positive people. If they accept, we can go to this rural area and collect blood samples for screening HIV. A civil policeman can join us, we can collect lots of information about The Snake. I am sure there are brave boys don't like The Snake among them. What do you think? "

"That is a great idea. Remember, i and Alex was trying to find a way to get blood tests. We pretended like we were going to give blood donation, so they had tested us. I am sure there are lots of drug users, young men looking for a chance to do blood tests. But, i am afraid of something."

"What is it, boy?"

"The snake...you will need a few police cars around you. And, also he might punish people giving blood samples. Many of them may be afraid of giving blood samples."

"Oh, The Snake...What is the solution?"

"My advice is just write your project. If they accept it, they can send some policemen with you i guess. The snake can't risk killing cops. Maybe the vehicle can be mobile. So, they can't observe who is giving blood samples. Just do it sir. Save them Inshallah."

Hussain smiled, and thanked Allah. He started working on this project. He finished writing it in a few days. He wrote everything he wants detailed. He was also suggesting to find a sponsorship to reduce the costs if the government thinks it would cost too much. He wrote it and he sent it to health minister and foundations about HIV. He had a reply one month later. They accepted it, and one of the foundations accepted the sponsorship. The project was going to take 5 days. So, Hussain had a special permit for this job. His other co-workers were anxious. What if the number of patients will increase too much? What if they don't have health insurance? Will their salary go down? Hussain didn't have such thoughts. His effort was to save young people from those gangs and drugs.

## Chapter 12

The HIV screening project starts

They arranged a big truck for this project. They wrote with big words::

" **GET YOUR HIV BLOOD TEST FOR FREE."**

" **NEVER SAY NEVER"  
"DON'T AFRAID OF AIDS, AFRAID OF BEING LATE."**

And they also put the logo of sponsor foundations. There were 3 nurses taking the blood samples, Dr. Hussain having conversation with people giving blood samples, and a policeman in civilian attire who was just observing around and looking like a cleaner inside of the truck. They were all surprised, 300 people applied at the downtown. They started to move close to that rural area named "Camper District." They were stopping at central parts of districts for a few hours. And they arrived Camper District around 4 pm. The truck stopped and they started to wait for people. They waited for an hour, and nobody arrived. At the end of day, they were about to leave the district desperately, a few young boy was coming to the truck. When they were on the steps, they heard three gunshots. These 3 boys were killed from their head by a sniper shot. The policeman called other policemen, they were waiting for them in a close area. They arrived just in a few minutes. They closed the scene of crime. And a very big operation started. Even choppers joined. Hussain was so shocked. He didn't guess The Snake would be that much horrible person.

"What a cruel man...Why would he kill boys going to have just a test?" thought Hussain.

The operation took so long, they finally arrested the killer with his sniper by the help of choppers. But, they lost three more young boys. Hussain was so sad for them. It was like he was calling them to get rid of this hell, but they could not. The Snake didn't let. Hussain decided to talk to the commissar with Bilal. They told all they know except that The Snake has partners in police department. Caterina told Bilal this fact, but she didn't give any names. So, they could not trust all of the policemen. But after this murder, even those partners could not do much. The Snake had to be arrested. They lost 3 young men, but maybe the emperor of The Snake was about to finish if that killer would talk. After this event, they had to give break to the project until police would let them.

Hussain was back to the hospital. He gave the samples to the microbiology laboratory. The sponsorship foundation brought the kits for those tests. They tested all around 300 samples. They found 290 negatives, 5 were high positives and 5 were in border. They did western blot test for confirmation and they had those 5 in borderline positive were actually negatives. But, there were 5 real positives. They informed Hussain. Hussain was also recording all of the results. Hussain was really tired. His wife called him. They were wondering him, they heard the news. Hussain arrived home very late. He hugged his wife.

"Don't worry honey, i am fine. These gangs had built an emperor at this Camper District. They also bought some detectives from police department. So, nobody was able to touch them. They are coming to the end Inshallah. I pity these three young boy. They sacrificed themselves. They probably knew they were going to be killed. I hope police department do their job, and they arrest the leader of these gangs Inshallah. We just should pray for now."

"I was so afraid when i heard about the news. It was your project. What if they bomb your truck? Please don't go there anymore. Try to find another solution please."

"We can't go there anymore until police lets. What can other solution be? Any idea?"

"You should take people away from that district. Find a way to make them tests in somewhere else. Maybe you can call them to the hospital, but if the place is constant, the risk will be high." said Mariam.

"Honey, there are 50.000 people living there. How can i call them all? Let's keep thinking later. I am very tired now, and we have to wake up early in the morning Inshallah we can."

Hussain was very tired and they went to bed. Mariam was full of concerns. She was very afraid of losing her husband. She had to find a way. Maybe she could offer him move somewhere else, but Hussain would probably not accept it. Hussain was a kinda stubborn person. He was loving to struggle. So, what could be the solution? Mariam was looking for a way.

Hussain went back to the hospital after having breakfast with his family. Mariam was looking so anxious and unhappy. Hussain understood her. He hugged her and said,

"Don't worry my love, nobody threatened me. I am just doing my job. I am responsible from people living around us."

"Then, let's move somewhere else. A tidy, peaceful town?"

"Mariam, don't you know me? How can i escape from struggling?"

"Honey, they killed these 3 young men, they killed that woman patient at your hospital. What if they kill you? I am so scared. You are not a cop. Please my love, please..."

"Don't worry honey, i will be more careful, but i am responsible from all what i can do."

Hussain calmed her down and went to work .He decided to discuss with Bilal. They had a meeting at lunch break again.

"Bilal, what is going on man? I didn't think they could be that much cruel. What's wrong with doing just a HIV test?"

"Sir, there are lots of HIV positives in this society i guess. The Snake infects people who he doesn't like. So, he continues his emperor. He threatens people. I didn't know how Alex had HIV, but now i know. Caterina, Alex and these 3 boys were all victims of The Snake. He had to show his power on people living there. I guess he informed everybody not to give blood samples, so these 3 boys didn't obey him. He showed everybody the result of not obeying him."

"But, why would he not let people give blood samples?"

"You know sir, if you catch HIV positiveness at early stage, the people can stay healthy. All people against his emperor are probably infected. He is kinda dictator, so people are probably silent Sir."

"Man, we are living in a big country. He can't rule this place. Same laws are valid there. He is not a president or governor."

"That's it Sir. Thank you very much for saving me."

"Oh please, no problem. But there are plenty of people waiting to be saved. Ok, i guess the best is to wait for the police. I hope we hear good news Inshallah, i really wish The Snake goes to jail Inshallah."

"Inshaallah Sir."

They turned back to their job. Hussain started to call that 5 HIV positive people. They told people when they were giving samples, if nobody called them, there was nothing to worry. So, that 5 persons might be worried. Hussain called them and gave them appointment at his policlinic. They were all worried, but Hussain calmed them down, he told them they just needed to do confirmation tests. But, he could not reach one of them. Her name was " Anna Creek." He checked her notes, she told him she was working in a bank. Hussain called the police that he could not reach one of HIV positives from this project. He asked them her address. They checked the address was in that Camper district.

"Oh no, what is your suggestion? " asked Hussain.

"Never go there, we will inform our chiefs. They will try to reach her. What do you want us to say her if we can find her?"

"Tell her to come here, my policlinic. You can also give her my cellphone number and i can arrange an appointment for her."

"Alright, take care."

Policemen made a search about Anna Creek. They could not reach her cellphone, the last signal from her cellphone was the time when she gave a sample in that truck. They kept searching about it.

Bilal gave an idea to find her,

"We can try social websites, do you remember her face? Maybe she has a profile."

"PD (Police Department) should have tried this. But, i have a hope she will come here and find me. She was anxious inside of the truck. She was like being followed. All we can do is to pray and wait right now. May Allah protects her. Poor Anna..."

Hussain was trying all his best. He was checking patients, newly diagnosed HIV positive patients. He was smiling at them, taking care of them very well, so Hussain was in love with his job.So, the project took only one day, but it helped out to save at least 4 people. Where was the fifth one? Hussain was waiting for her. Meanwhile, Gabriela came to Hussain's policlinic. Gabriela couldn't forget him. She found a way to talk to him. Gabriela asked him if they can talk for a while.

"Oh, Mr. Hussain, i heard the news. I hope you are doing alright?"

"Thank you Miss Gabriela. We are all ok, they just killed these poor three boys. They were probably HIV positive. I don't know what they want from those guys. They are very young."

"Oh, thank God. I was very worried when i heard the news. Mr. Hussain, you really should be careful, this campers, they are a very dangerous gang. I am worried about you."

Hussain was so surprised. Gabriela was a beautiful, kind woman. But he was in love with his wife, Mariam. He tried to finish conversation.

"Thank you Miss Gabriela. Don't worry about me. I am just a human, nothing can hurt me except Allah lets. I believe in him. So, no worries."

"But, you are the sweetest, most handsome, most hard working doctor here in this hospital. People, and patients here need you."

"Thank you for your compliments." turned Hussain's face red. Gabriela liked that, she continued praising him.

"Please, that is enough. I am just a normal person."

"But i like you so much, you are my hero, you are the prince of my dreams." started to talk flirty Gabriela.

"Please Miss Gabriela. I am happily married and i have a son. Please, don't have impossible dreams. And, please i don't want to be rude, but please leave me alone right now."

Gabriela started crying. She cried for a little while. It didn't change Hussain's attitude. So,she decided to go back desperately. After she left, Hussain washed his hands, he performed an ablution. He asked Allah to forgive him. He remembered the examination of prophet Yusuf (Joseph) P.B.U.H.

" **And she certainly determined [to seduce] him, and he would have inclined to her had he not seen the proof of his Lord. And thus [it was] that We should avert from him evil and immorality. Indeed, he was of Our chosen servants." (Yusuf, 12/24)**

Yusuf (Joseph) was a prophet sent by Allah. But, when he was a young boy, his brothers left him alone in a well. Some people found him and sold him as a slave. The governor in Egypt bought him, and his wife Zuleyha liked Yusuf a lot. Allah protected Yusuf from this fornication sin.

Bilal was observing Hussain's room. He saw Gabriela left room with wet eyes. He knew intentions of Gabriela. He knocked Hussain's door, Hussain opened it very fastly if it was Gabriela again. He was surprised it was Bilal in front of the door.

"Come in, man."

"Sir, she was crying. Anything i can do for you?"

"Bilal, i don't understand her. She told me she liked me, i told her that i was married, i had a son. She didn't stop, i had to tell her leave me alone. I don't know what to say. I can't hurt anyone, but she is calling me to the sin."

"If you want, i can talk to her Sir. She doesn't know Islam well. She might think she can change your mind, but she has to know about your faith."

"Would she listen to you?"

"Yeah, we talked for a few times when i was staying at ICU. I should tell her about Islam."

"Ok, do it."

Bilal went to ICU and visited her. He asked Gabriela if they can talk private.

"Dear Miss Gabriela, i totally understand you. You really like him, but he is a Muslim man and he has a family. The family is very important in Islam. The family is a nucleus of society. So, Islam protects woman and family. The husbands can't even touch other females. In the holy book Qur'an, it doesn't say, "Don't fornicate", it says, "Don't approach to the fornication." So, touching, kissing, hugging etc are the ways bringing you to the fornication. Please, try to forget him."

"I can't stop my feelings. I dream him every night. I don't know what to do. Maybe, i should talk to the shrink."

"I am sorry Miss, but i must tell you, you need to find a way to forget him. He is really an amazing man, but his faith is very strong and he can't cheat or leave his wife and son."

"You are right, i don't want to be a bad woman. I will absolutely talk to the shrink. Thank you for your help."

"You are welcome, take care."

"Tell him that i am sorry. I couldn't stop my feelings. I had to be professional."

"Ok miss, i will. May Allah helps you."

Bilal came to Hussain's room very happily. He knocked the door, Hussain did let him come in. He found out a patient inside the room. A sad looking woman. Bilal looked at her little bit longer than usual. He was affected.

"Oh sorry for disturbing Sir. I will visit you later."

Hussain was busy with Anna Creek. Anna came to visit him at the end. Hussain's guess was right. But, she just came in. They started to talk,

"Miss Anna Creek, we were worried about you too much. We must do new tests to check your health status."

"Sir, i live in that camper district which three boys were killed at that day we gave samples. It is a very bad area. The members of gangs knocks our doors regularly, they ask money for drugs. One night, they knocked the door out, i was living alone. That guy asked money from me. He told me The Snake wanted it. I told them, i have nothing. Then, he took me into his car forcibly. There were two men waiting for us. They tied my hands and mouth. Then i was fainted, and when i woke up, i was in a bed naked. I don't know but probably all of them raped me. You can't guess how bad i felt. He told me that i became their bitch. He told me i had to join their parties, those drugs parties. They get drunk with drinks and drugs and they do whatever they want. They threatened me, they took my everything, id cards, money, bank cards etc. If i work properly, they were going to do nothing against me. They even offered me beautiful things, clothes. The last offer was to be the fancy woman of The Snake, which means to be the richest woman in camper district. I didn't accept, but they locked me up almost for a year. I didn't have power enough, and i accepted. I came to give blood when i was at work. I have been working for last fifteen days. I had really horrible days doc. They are very busy with police operations right now. So, i have been able to come here. Please help me." cried Anna.

"Oh, Miss Anna. I am here to help you. Please, give your new blood samples right now. I promise you i will try my best to do for you."

"How is my health? Do i have HIV?"

"Well, the first screen test was positive, but we have to confirm with new tests and we need to check your immune system and your organ's status. I am really sorry about your story. But, nobody could help you? Don't you have a family?"

"Who has a good family in this f... district? My parents were divorced, i had to hold the life by myself. This camper district was the cheapest place for home rents. Otherwise, i would not rent from there. But i don't understand how the police could let these bas... rule that area? They do whatever they want. They have stopped after your project. They killed these 3 boys, now the PD is finally working there everyday. Please help me."

"I promise you i will try my best. But someone from camper district told us The Snake has friends in PD. So, we were worried to tell PD everything. Do you know anything about this? "

"Nope, i just saw a couple of them were giving something to the police patrolling there at one night. I guess bribe or something else. I am so scared, i don't want to be raped again. This gang is very crowded there and in jail."

"Tell me how i can reach you. "

"Take my private phone number. It is recorded on my friend's name. Please hide it very well, i don't want them to hurt her too."

"Why don't you move from this area? "

"They would follow me. I want to escape, can you help me? "

"Yes, there is an empty flat at my apartment, you can move there. But, what if they see you? "

"I don't care anymore, they can kill me, but i need money to move."

"I can help you Inshallah. If you want, i can talk to owner of the flat, and you can visit him today?"

"Ok, sure. If he accepts, text me his phone number. "

She gave him another number (private) , and Hussain calmed her down, and she went to give blood samples. Meanwhile, Hussain talked to the owner of the flat. He accepted in one condition if Hussain became guarantor. Hussain accepted it, and he texted Anna his number. Anna gave blood samples, and she called him. She went to see the flat after hospital. Anna was a beautiful, single girl. The owner of the flat liked her. He was living in the same apartment. He showed her the flat, she asked about the price, it was kinda expensive for her. He told her Hussain accepted to be her guarantor. She called him from this flat. Hussain promised to help her. Anna accepted, and they had a negotiation the next day. Hussain signed the contract as a guarantor. He didn't mention Mariam about Anna and all of these. Now, the difficult thing had to be done. How to move away from this district? The owner of the flat in camper district was also working for The Snake. She decided to go silently in the evening time. She asked Hussain if he can take her away with his car. Anna took her stuff with a small suitcase. She decided to bring not too much, only necessary things. Hussain accepted and he started to wait for her in front of her apartment.

"Oh My Lord, Allah, you know my intention, i just wanted to save her from this hell, please help us, save us without any problem." prayed Hussain.

Anna left the flat and she left the key on the door, and she also left a note and pasted it on the door. She decided to call flat owner after she left the district. Anna came to Hussain's car. Hussain said, "Bismillah.. "

Anna asked what he said.

"It means "In the name of Allah. " We Muslims say that before we start anything. May Allah helps us."

"Amen. Thank you so much Sir. I appreciate your help. "

Hussain was driving slowly, he didn't want to attract attention. They arrived to the end of district. They saw some people running as a group, they were like escaping. Anna saw them, she got panic, she tried to hide her face.

"Please, lock the doors. They know me, if they saw me, they would stop the car. And please, hurry up. "

"Don't worry, the PD is following them. Here, i locked the door, but i can't pass in red light, you put your head down."

Anna was sitting at back. She moved her face down. Hussain moved the car away from the way they were running. Hussain realized two of them were looking at him, and he was pointing out like to stop the car and give them Anna. Hussain got panic too, and he passed at the red light very fast. They threw a stone to his car from back, meanwhile another car passing from other strip crushed his car. The stone broke the back glass of Hussain's car and peeled of his head, and broke the front glass too. And the other car crushed left front door very fast. Even though that accident, Hussain and Anna were both ok, Anna was screaming and Hussain didn't stop. He made a move like sorry from the window and he escaped. The driver of the other car got mad. He started to chase him. Hussain understood that guy, and he stopped when they arrived to a safe place. He and the other car's driver started to talk. He was very mad at first, but Hussain told him everything, he showed the broken glasses. He promised to pay his expense of the damage. He couldn't trust Hussain, they went to the repairman. He arranged a bill, Hussain paid it. Anna was so sad inside of the car. Then, they left there, and they were close to the apartment.

"Anna, my wife is very jealous, she might misunderstand. She checks out from the window whenever i am late. Is it ok if you get off here and walk to the apartment? I need to get these glasses repaired."

She accepted and Hussain went to auto glass repairman. He called his wife and told her not to worry. He told that he had a small accident, he would come back home soon. After a few hours later, Hussain arrived home. He hugged her. Mariam asked about the details, but Hussain didn't tell much.

"Don't worry honey, i am fine, i am doing all i have to do. I try my best to save people from these hells of drugs, gangs, faithless life. I am responsible honey."

Hussain calmed her down. But he slept happy because of saving one more person from this district.

### Controls of HIV positive patients

Hussain had 7 HIV positive patients left. Two of them were Bilal and Anna Creek. He found 4 of them with his project in early stage. And the last one was pregnant and she was diagnosed just before birth. She gave a birth, and the kid was started to be checked by pediatric infectious disease. Bilal and Anna had control appointment at the same day. Bilal asked permission from his chief Sivan, she did let him. They were both sitting at waiting room for Hussain's policlinic. Anna was surprised.

"Don't you work here, why do you wait for?"

"I am sick Miss. I wait for my next, Dr. Hussain is my best friend, but i would like to wait for my next, i respect other patients."

"He is a great doctor, huh?"

"Yes he is. He saved my life."

"Oh really? Mine too."

"I believe he is the gift of Allah. I don't know what i would do if i didn't know him."

Anna and Bilal started to be attracted from each other. Anna asked,

"If you don't mind me asking, what is your condition?"

"I am positive."

"Positive? Positive of what?"

"HIV positive."

"Oh, wow. Oh yea, he is kinda HIV specialist. Me too." smiled Anna and tried to shake Bilal's hand. Bilal moved his hand on his heart,

"You are a very beautiful lady, but i can't touch you. I converted to Islam."

"Oh really? Islam doesn't let you touch me?"

"Unless you are my wife."

"Haha, oh ok. I respect you."

They smiled at each other. Anna asked more about Islam. Bilal told her almost all the things he lived. At the end, it was Anna's next. Anna gave him her cell phone number.

"I would like to talk to you more. Call me later." smiled Anna at him.

Bilal smiled at him. And Anna entered the room.

"Hello Miss Anna, welcome. How have you been?"

"Thank you so much Sir. I am doing great. How about you?"

"Alhamdulillah which means thank Allah. Now let's check your results." looked at the screen of his computer Hussain.

"Ok, now we are sure you are HIV positive. You have this virus in your blood. We need to start therapy as soon as possible. But the good thing is your immune system is not bad." said Hussain. And, he explained about the importance of CD4 + cells number. And her resistance test of HIV in her blood was perfect. That virus was sensitive to all medicines they can use.

"So, you need to take care of yourself well. Stay away from stress. Sleep well. Don't stay up too late at nights. Eat well. Don't neglect taking fruits. You can also drink some herbal teas, fruit juices etc. But one of the most important thing for your immune system is to keep your spirits well. Don't be sad, keep smiling and be happy, ok?"

"Oh yea, i am away from this district, but i am just worried if my ex flat's owner finds me. That makes me stressful. Otherwise, i am fine."

"Don't worry, we have security at the apartment. You should be relax."

"I guess i should change my job."

"Ok, you can. But don't worry. We have a good security. Is not there a security at your work?"

"Yes, there is. I should go only between home and work. I can't go any other place for a while."

"That should not make you stress. Now i prescribe your medicines. Thank Allah you don't have a health insurance problem."

"Sir, do you think i had this virus from the rape last year?"

"Probably. Did you have sex before?"

"Yes with my ex boyfriend, but it was 2 years ago."

"Your immune system is not so bad. You are probably at your early stage, so it is possible you had it from these gangs."

"God damn them..."

Hussain stopped and didn't say anything. Anna understood her mistake. She thanked him a lot, and then she left. Bilal entered the room. He could not take his eyes away from Anna when she was leaving the room. Hussain realized that, he thought maybe they could be a good couple but Bilal was so young for her. He had to warn Bilal about Islamic rules. He had to be careful. They were both HIV positive, but Bilal was so young to marry, even legally.

"Welcome Bilal. Let's check your results. Mashaallah (It happened as Allah wanted) results seem great. Your CD4 + cells are around 1000. You take care of yourself well, i guess?"

"Yes sir. I appreciate your help. Could you please prescribe my medicines? They are going to finish soon."

"Bilal, i saw your look at Anna. Do you like her?"

"Hmm, well. Yes, Sir. She gave me her phone number."

"Bro, you are young to marry legally. You are also younger than her. You should be careful. You know Islam doesn't let fornication."

"Yes Sir. I pray Allah to make me meet the woman of my life. I am young, but i have a job, and i am working. I am taking care of my grandmother. I would like to establish a family."

"You are right, Islam advices to get marry younger, as soon as possible, but it also should be legally. We see couples living together without marriage, they split up very easily, easier than married couples even though they have babies. We have to be very careful."

"Thank you Sir. I will be. But, can't i be just friends?"

"You know our prophet Muhammad PBUH told,

"If a man and woman are alone in one place, the third person present is the devil."

So, you have to be careful. If it is not necessary, don't talk too much. Talking makes feelings get closer, these feelings make bodies get closer. So, remember always Allah and try your best. But as you know Allah says,

"Don't approach to the fornication." Looking, talking, even thinking are all approaching. Be open to her, tell her all of these, your belief. So, she will be understanding Inshallah. Ok?"

"Thank you so much Sir. I will text her all of these, if she is understanding, i can think something serious with her soon in my life, if she is not understanding, i will let her go away from my life. Thanks a lot."

"By the way, as you see, there is nothing to worry about HIV if you take care of yourself well and take medicines on time and get your tests on time. Right?"

"Yes, Sir. Especially if you have a doctor like you." smiled Bilal.

"Astaghfirullah (May Allah forgives me) " said Hussain.

Genital warts with HIV

One day a HIV positive patient named Tracy visited Dr. Hussain. He told him about some problems at her genital region. She told him that because she said it started after she found out that she was HIV positive.

"Doctor, they seem like genital warts. I searched about it online and i am worried about cancer. I heard warts can turn to cancer. What should I do?"

"Miss Tracy, you better show it to your gynecologist. But don't worry about turning them to cancer, worry about neglecting it. It is probably genital wart if there's no pain on them."

"No sir. No pain."

"Genital warts are caused by a virus called HPV. It has many types. Some types are associated with genital cancers. But they usually cause it, if the patient neglect it. There are lots of therapy methods for them luckily. Gynecologist or dermatologist can burn it, or freeze it. If you don't get this therapy, it will start growing. And if you keep your immune system well, your immune system can help you get rid of it by the time. HIV positive patients may have immune system problems. So, they are open to many infections. And this virus HPV transmitted sexually and we can say that very big percentage of sexually active people carry this virus, especially who had more than one partner. HPV can pass with HIV, or alone too. As i told you, don't worry about virus, worry about neglecting it. "

"Oh sir, thank you so much, i was like i am gonna be cancer and die soon. "

"Do you keep having sex?"

"No Sir. I got my lecture, i just want to live. I don't have any enthusiasm for sex."

"You are a single woman. If you find your the one, you can marry him. But i strongly suggest you not to have one-night stands. It is very risky. Yes, condoms can protect you from HIV, but HPV may transmit even though the condoms. So, we say it is the most common microorganism transmits sexually. Most of the carriers don't know about it. They spread the virus. "

"I understand, i hate myself, i had lots of one night stands. I was drunk one night, i didn't use condom. Luckily i am not pregnant. "

"Look Tracy, life is going on. The past has passed. We all have to look forward. Your spirit is very important to win these two virus. So, never lose your hope, stay happy, do all you have to do and my suggestion is to change your lifestyle. Don't stay up too late. Never have one night stand. That's it. Deal? "

"Ok, sir. Thank you so much for your help. "

"You are welcome. "

Meanwhile, Tracy went to her gynecologist, she examined her and she told her treatment options. She said,

"We can burn them, that will destroy warts, but there will be little bit burn trace. But this is the safest way, and the probability of recurrence is least at this method. Second choice i can do for you is to freeze them. They will stop growing and your immune system will handle them. So, what would you prefer?"

"Let's burn them all." said Tracy.

Doc, did it. She didn't feel pain. Tracy left there happily.

##

Chapter 13

Tracy is looking for real happiness

She came back to Hussain, told him what happened and thanked to him.

"You are welcome Miss Tracy. Please follow my advices."

"I will, doc. Thank you. But, i wonder something if you have time."

"Sure."

"Doc, what's happening to us? I am sure you see a lot of patients, but i am wondering where are we going? These diseases made me think of my life, what am i doing? What is my aim in this life? We are having fun and satisfying our animalistic joys. Eat, drink, have sex. Most of my friends are very happy having fun out, but in the morning after long fun nights, they all seem unhappy. One of my friend killed herself last year. She was the happiest, richest of us. So, if it is money, here money, but where is happiness?" asked Tracy.

"I totally understand you Tracy. I want to tell you my opinion. It is up to you to agree with me or not, ok?"

"Sure,doc."

"I am Muslim. I believe in Allah. Allah created us, he sent us guides and a guide book. We have two parts, one is our body, second is our spirit. So, when we use a new machine, we should check guidebook right? So, Allah who created both of these two parts sent us a guidebook, The Holy Qur'an. I check it, and i find the happiness there. Allah says,

" **Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured." (13,20)**

So, i try to remember Allah all the time. I want to be close friends with Him. If i have a problem, i remember this:

" **But for your Lord be patient." (74,7)**

And i have a great sample, the prophet of Allah, Rasulullah,Muhammad P.B.U.H. He had many problems in his life. He lost his father just before his birth, he lost his mother when he was very young. He lost his grandfather when he was a kid. His relatives, neighbors caused him many troubles after he became prophet. They didn't like his religion, because this religion was bringing justice, equality, being honest. But, in that time, the first daughters of the families were just being killed when they were very little in this society by their dads. Fathers were ashamed of having a daughter. His religion Islam never accepts such cruelties. So, they didn't like him at first. He had many difficulties, and he had to move his town. And around 10 years later, he came back with victory. But, he did not take revenge. He did not kill anybody. Many of them were affected, and converted to Islam. We only need two things to be happy: "Love and submission". Love to Allah, and submission to him whatever happens. Being thankful when we are in blessings, and being patient when we are in trouble. Allah says,

" **Allah being pleased with them and they with Him."(98,8)** So, we must be surrender first. And about the people you asked, yes, they have money, luxury etc. but no happiness. Allah created our nefs (lower self), ego, very weak. He wants us to educate it. Lower self always wants to satisfy itself. Lower self thinks of only itself. If we do not control and educate it, it will use us. Lower self is like a riding. If we ride it very well and rule it, we can find happiness. But, if we let it go where ever it wants, it will bring us too, even to a cliff. People who educated their lower self , and used it well, they have been remembered with their great activities for humanity even thousand years later. So, we should try to success it."

"Thank you so much Sir. I have a very strong lower self. It always wants to satisfy itself, drinking, smoking, having sex, only satisfying and living on own. These diseases made me think about it now with your help. I will try my best to stop it. I know you are not my shrink, but can i keep visiting you and talking to you about controlling it?"

"Sure, Miss Tracy. My door is always open."

"Thank you so much."

### Tracy should stop smoking

"But i must tell you something before you leave. You have to quit smoking. Smoking is increasing the risks for HIV positive patients. It is a very bad combination. Please never smoke again, ok?"

"Oh doc. You are right, but how? It is very difficult to control myself. Do you have any other patient waiting for you?"

"No, don't worry, i have time. We can keep talking."

"I really wished to quit smoking, but my friends... Whenever i decided to quit, they offered me. It was always at the critical time. So, i could not stop myself. What do you suggest me?"

"Tracy, you have HIV. You have a very bigger risk than others."

"Risks about?"

"About infections, especially chronic infections which may convert to cancer."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, but do not worry. All you have to do is to take care of yourself, take your medicines and quit smoking. Smoking is very bad for your immune system and cardiovascular system."

"I understand. So, how can i?"

"First of all you need to believe in yourself, ok?"

"It is really hard Sir."

"You can do it. Allah gave you this power. You must have self control. You actually have, but you should strengthen it. This starts with a real, strong decision. Say this to yourself.

"I can do it. I will quit this. I will get rid of this and i will survive."

Do this every morning. Ok?"

"Ok Sir, and then?"

"Draw a simple table. One column is for the dates, other is for the numbers of cigarette you smoked. If you can not stop yourself smoking, count the numbers of cigarette you smoked. And write it on this table. Do this everyday. And come back to me, we can talk about it. Also, if you want, here i have a print, take this paper and do it, ok?"

"Oh, wow. Ok Sir. I will do it. Thank you so much."

Tracy left and Bilal entered to the room.

"Sir, she stayed too long. I hope everything is ok?"

"Ok, Bilal. Thank Allah. I am sad for those people. They are poisoning their life with material and spiritual viruses. The Satan has a lot of instruments to poison people. We have to work very hard."

"Sir, you are really trying your best. You are working for those people in that Campers district. They are usually poor people. That girl, she is one of the rich people. You also help them."

"Being poor and rich is not important boy. We all have to take care everybody. We are also responsible from our neighborhood, co workers, people living in our city. Maybe, even all world. Because the world is very small right now. We have to help people. The human is not created just for fun. We have an aim to be in this world."

The end of adventure for now...

Bilal and Hussain were like real and close brothers. They worked together for a very long time. Bilal took care of himself very well, he followed his advices. After he became 20, he married Anna Creek who was also HIV positive. Anna was older than him, but they liked each other. After a few years later than their marriage, Samantha died because of another heart attack.

Tracy used the method of Hussain about quitting smoking. She reduced the amount of cigarette she smoked. Finally, she quit smoking but she never delayed her visits to doctor. After quitting, her blood tests got much better. She also lived happily with HIV.

About Mariam, she kept loving her husband Hussain. She was jealous of him, but he always trusted Hussain. And Hussain never disappointed him. And one day Hussain decided to help Syrian people escaped from the war. Mariam was so worried, but he decided to help them at Turkey border. His decision was to work at summer holiday for three weeks there. But, what were waiting for him in the border? He also decided to have a Turkey tour with his family. Mariam accepted finally. And they were going to Turkey. Bilal and Anna kept working at same places. What were waiting for them also?

And The Snake, he was trying all he can to get rid of going jail. His emperor was about to finish. But he was decisive to build it back.

To be continued...

Follow the adventures of Dr. Hussain, his family, Bilal and Anna here at:

http://www.amipositive.com

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Thank you for your time.

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