It’s time for Animals VS. Technology!
“Oh, you’re enjoying flying ya drone?
PISS OFF!”
Some days it feels like
the co-inhabitants of Earth have had a gutful of us.
“Pack up your machines and go home”
this dog barks.
This bird has a mate on Facebook
that told him 5G is evil.
Now he’s out to destroy
any antenna he can get his beak around.
“I don’t care if ya wanna bloody watch 4k films
on the bus.
Why won’t this bastard thing come off?
Don’t drive away from me!
That’s rude.
Fine.”
Cunt bird away!
This cheeky pest has the right idea.
Hit us where it hurts.
Our volume buttons.
“Yeah, I’m bending it,
take that human.”
These two sheilas pull in for petrol
but the cow yells “enough with ya stinky fuel!
I'll give you a referral code
for 1,500 Supercharger kilometers.
Anyone?
Anyone want a supercharger code?
Nah.”
“what’s that?
You want a vacuum?
Here’s a suction test for ya...
a free-range egg.
Suck on that.”
“Oi. You’re misreading my frilly fucken neck mate.
I don’t want my photo taken.
Quit waving ya dumb hand.
It won’t change my mind.
I value my privacy.
I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKEN TAKE IT.
You better run bitch.
Fear my frilly neck.
FEAR IT!
This shark agrees with the lizard!
“No photos please.
HEY! At least turn the flash off!
You want a nice one?
[Farting]
There ya go.
It’s not pleasant when another species
dumps shit all over you, is it?
Now you know how we feel
here at the great barrier reef.
Why you guys eating my diarrhea?
ew yack!”
This peacock is getting ready for a punch on
in the car park.
It’s distracting the taxi with its beautiful tail.
If the taxi had feelings,
it would be jealous of that tail.
The peacock flanks it and launches into an attack!
Claws. Beak.
The taxi is fucked!
This duck is taking a cue from Terminator 2
and going right to the source:
Silicon Valley!
Take that ya Software Coder!
Take it.
You can’t make more instruments of doom
if ya can’t get to your office.
Her friend comes to rescue her: “quick Karen!
Get in the car!”
Karen’s like “It’s a goose,
I can handle it.
“No you can’t.
Get in.”
The goose says, “fuck no!
You’re not going anywhere.”
The driver hops out,
scratch that, the driver hops back in.
The goose infiltrates the car!
The driver hops out and falls over.
And then hops back in.
That is the most useless getaway driver
in the history of getaway drivers.
“What should we do with my handbag?”
“We leave it, Karen.
It’s the goose’s bag now.”
No
NOoooooo.
Nah, nah, nah.
Why would you build a fish tank
that they can drive?
This goldfish is screaming
“I don’t want a car.
I don’t have a garage.
I don’t do possessions.
That’s how I like it.
And this is the slowest
0-60 vehicle ever
by the way.
But the point is I don't need it.
All I need is a pond,
a sheila, and some food.
Fucken get me out.”
