*WAPOOSH *
Top of the morning to ya laddies!!!!!
My name is JackSepticeye!
And welcome...
NO!
I DIDN'T FUCKING-
What do I do?!
GO BACK!
GO BACK! Hello?!
Oh Jesus!
She's freaking out!
What's going on?!
Welcome to Counter Fight! Ehm~
No idea what I'm doing!
I was supposed to do a tutorial!
SHUT UP YOU!
No one fucking cares.
Okay, let's get some bowls out.
Wha-- What do people want?
You want...
some something?
Okay...
YES
Uhh, here we go.
That's wha-- what?
What?
What am I doing? Why?
OHHH NOOO
This is TERRIBLE
Okay, let's cook some meat.
You wanted some of this right?
Ohhhh yeah!
Uhmmm
There we go! I'm heating up the water.
I don't know what I'm doing man!
There was supposed to be some sort of HELP
There you go!
Ding ding!
*Laughs*
*breath intake*
Can I just fail this and go back to the menu?
*Fart Noise*
FUCKING HELL! They're throwing things at me!
I have a sword!
FUCK YOU
Okay
Oh yeah!
Oh, you aint touchin JACKABOY!
Ha ha!
Hooooaaaaa!
I'LL FUCK YOU UP!
Are you gonna throw things at me? Don't.
*Huu* *Hiyah* *Hu* *Huu*
HOOOOO
Imma just dance with you instead!
THIS IS THE BEST DANCE SIMULATOR!
Okay!
*Laughing* We're back in the menu!
Where we were supposed to start off.
*Calm* Top of the morning to you laddies.
This is Counter Fight, samurai edition.
It's a game-- I think you kinda got the premise of it by now.
I'm supposed to make food for the people who come in.
BUT
HOW TO!
Why was there no clicky button for that? Why was it like, touch and go?
Umm...
Control? No I think I got that.
Recipes!
Let me see.
*Singing* Bum Bada Dum Ba
*Singing* Bum Ba Da Ba Ba
This one! Cause this guy asked for Gyudon.
Okay, so I get a bowl.
And put some rice in.
I get some of THESE
Wait-- how do?
Oooh!
There we go! I'm not supposed to use my hands!
That makes perfect sense!
There we go! Ahhh
I'm a regular ol' cheferdo!
That's all it is?! I though there was some sort of like broth in it.
There you go!
Ohhhh! Look-- nyum nyum nyum nyum nyum!
Ooowahhh!!
Are you happy now?
Wow! He just shat money at me!
Okay!
I can do this!
I can figure out the fucking bowls!
Maybe we'll see!
Okay, so that one is one of these...
It's one of this.
Nice...
It's...
OH! You put an egg in this thing!
A- the fuck was that?
*Crack!*
There we go!
Aghhhhh
Ug! *pish*
SHIT! SORRY!
Fuck... you don't matter though.
Ahm- and then I throw bits of meat in there?
*Japanese music in background*
Some of this?
Ah!!
I got it! Dude, you are going to be scrum-dilly-ump-tious in a second!
And then we...
*pouring of soup noises*
BOOM!
Boom-bop and a pizz-oo-pow!
Oh, num-num-num-num!
YES!
Wah!!
Thank you, good sir!
I appreciate your patronage.
Right, I just gotta figure out how to make all these.
All right folks!
I think we got this-wait technic..?
Is that supposed to be technique?
I DON'T CARE ABOUT TECHNIQUE!
I got all the technique I need!
Watch this
Stretch
ARE YOU READY!!?
Uhhh....
Little, miss, you, me.
Are you
g-uh... Pound it!
Miss, you, me, Pound it!
POUND IT BRO!
POUND IT!!!!!
Okay, threatening does not work!
All right...
Are you guys ready for the 5 minute challenge?
Woo!
I can fuckin do this, this time!
I can do this, this time!
Watch, me do.
Watch me do.
Watch me do.
OK.
Huh!
JA! JA! JA!
Hup!
No, I don't want the fuckin knife!
There you go!
What does somebody else want?
The same thing again!
Oookay.
Not so fuckin, bizity, bad.
Pick it up.
Pick it up, there you go.
PICK IT UP!
BOOM!
Okay, I need to prioritise.
OK.
You need this... fast.
Here we go.
Yaaaa
He's so happy!
I love it when my customers are happy!
Uhm...
You want some of.... theeeese.
I actually don't know if thats how I cook them.
Is that how I cook them?
YES!
FUCKIN BOOM!!!
Yes, you just need some sake!
I GOT YOU!
Look! Oh dude, get drunk!
On my fuckin sake... bro!
Uhm...
You need one of those....
I don't know what the fuck that is...
WHAT IS THAT!!??
Is that the egg thing?
I don't fuckin know!
I'm just gonna guess.
SORRY!
It's not about you okay!
Theres other people's feelings, to take into consideration here!
WOO!
This is gonna work!
I got this!
I got this!
I got this!
Watch!
Boom!
uhm... uh...
AHH WHERE'D THE FUCKIN FISH GO!!??
OK.
Is this...?
Is this that?
That's not what you ordered.
I'm sorry...
WAIT! WAS THAT IT!!!???
HE ACTUALLY GOT WHAT HE WANTED!
YES!
Okay!
I didn't get my fish again.
BOW BOW!
There we go, FUCK YEAH!
FWUCK YEAH!
I got this!
I got this!
Leave no man behind!
Leave nooo man behind!!
You're gonna need some of these.
Ok.
That's not what I want...
No, quit that!
Yes!
agh.. BOOM!
OK.
*softly* okay...
Wookay
OKAY!
SIR! I JUST GOT YOU IN TIME!
Yes, okay.
GIVE ME THE FUCKING EXTRA BOWLS!
K, BOOM!
Thats not it...
BOOM!
And....
BOOM!
Yes, okay!
Egg....
Eggy time- THATS NOT AN EGG!!!
Fuck yes!
NOW, I need this!
Here we go!
What do you need?
FUCK! He got angry!
OH NO!
OH NO!
UHM...
OK.
You go in there!
Good-good-good-good-good-good-good
Good-good-good-good-good!
UHM...
Go...
Go and everybodies happy.
Everybodies nice and happy!
GO IN THE BOWL!
HA HA HA HA HA
That's how I fuckin operate!
Ok.
Here we GOOO!
HERE WE GO!
YES!
ORDER UP!
ORDER UP!
There you go!
Nice and easy!
Ok...
I need to figure out how to do this...
Better!
And faster!
And stronger!
And all of that goodness!
Can I just....?
Nope! That doesn't fucking work
Okay, lets just...
Boom!
K...
Here you go...
That's for you!
I need to do another one!
SODAKAYY!!
I don't know what she's saying...
NO! GO IN!
CO-CO-CO-CO-CO-CO-CA-CO.....
YADONAY!!
I got it!
Don't even worry about it! Miss, you, me!
Jack's on the fucking case!
Watch this shit!
Watch this shit!
BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!
I want you in my room
Yes! Yes! Yes...
Okay....
One of these.
These were fucking hard to do...
Ok, BOOM!
NO WHAT ARE YOU FUCKIN DOING TO ME!!??
Ok, i'm losing em...
I'M LOSING THEM SARGE!
WA-BA-BA-BA
Oh shit!
YES! SHUT UP!
I'm trying the fucking best I can!
OKAY!?
You're not helping matters!
NUUU, WHY YOU BIG, FUCKIN, FAT HANDS!!??
SHIT!!!
COME BACK!
COME BACK TO ME BABY!
COME BACK TO JACK!
SHUT UP!
FUCK!
I don't fuckin know...
I'm cooking the wrong things...
Shit.
Shit!
SHIT!
I JUST GAVE YOU YOUR FOOD!
NOOO!
DON'T START FUCKIN THROWING THINGS AT ME!
What he say to me?
30 seconds.... (unintelligible words)
Oooh that's not good....
I might've burnt your food!
I'm sorry!
OWWWW!
You guys throwing things at me!?
I don't deserve that!
I'm a nice little
BOY!!! *voice cracks*
Ok, why is my food going all over the place...
Like...
MY FUCKIN LIFE!
MY HOPES!
MY DREAMS!
Oh my god.
I don't know what parts are what!
IM PICKING UP SHIT!
THAT I'M NOT EVEN GRABBING!!!
IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKIN FAULT!
IT'S OVER DOUCHEBAGS!
ITS FUCKIN OVER!!!!
Come-where is it-where is it?
I can't even fucking get my sword...
Ok.
Lets try this once more!
I never even fuckin thought
That something with such... EPIC music
Could be such a pain in my fuckin ass!
What else do you want?
You want another fish as well?
There we go.
There we go, Nice!
NICE!
NICE, NICE, NICE!
Oh my god, can you just do physics!?
Physics are a great...
FUCKIN UTENSIL!
WHEN THEY WORK!
Is that not going in?
Are-are- UUHHHHMMM!
There you go!
GAHH ITS ALL FUCKIN RUINED!!
ITS ALL BULLSHIT!!
I'm doing it, i'm doing it!
I'm doing it, i'm powering through!
Did somebody just get angry?
Who got angry?
I JUST MADE YOUR FUCKIN FOOD!
You...
HAIRY...... BASTARD!
Fine, its fine...
Here...
Here...
Here you go...
There you go!
Drink-drink-drink-drink-drink!
Drink!
DRINK!
Okay, what do you want?
YOU WANT SOME FUCKIN SHRIMPERDOOS!!??
Who wants some shrimp?
MY FUCKIN BOY!
HE WANTS SOME SHRIMP!
I'M GONNA TREAT HIM NICE!
Like a nice little french boy!
Here ya go!
Here ya go!
BOOM!
BABY!
BOOM BABY!!
That's what it's all about!
Boom!
Fuck yeah!
Get that ready...
Yes!
You want one of these as well?
DUDES!
Thanks for coming around!
WHAAAAT!!??
Okay, he was actually happy...
I thought he threw something at me.
I thought I was gonna have to fuckin kick some 'A'
For a second...
Ok.
It's all about two handing this!
Here we fuckin go!
YES!
SAKE! LOOK AT ME GO!
YOU ALL HAVING A GOOD TIME ON THIS FRIDAY NIGHT!?
FUCK YEAH!
WHAT!?
WHY'RE YOU FUCKIN THROWING THINGS AT ME!?
I DID WELL!
Some fuckin people....
I'm just here trying to make a living...
AW! The princess is in!
Hello!
You having a good time?
I sure as hell am not!
This is stressful as all hell!
Ok.
Easy on the knife cuts...
OH MY GOD!
DID I JUST FUCKIN LOSE A PIECE-
CAUSE OF THAT?
ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS!!??
There it is.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Ok, these are cooked!
Get them off, get them off, get them off, get them off!
Yes!
YES!
Here we go, here we go!
Sake for two!
Sake for two?
Sake for you!
Sake for me!
No fuckin please!
Ok, SAAAKEEE!
SAAAKEEE!!!
SAAKEE!
SAAAKEE!
YES!
YES! I HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME!
Oh yeah!
Come on down to Jack's parlour!
We make dumplings!
We make noodles!
We make lots of very good shit!
That you can eat!
With your mouth!!
Would you like that guys?
Would you like to eat with your mouth!!??
I sure would!
There, here we go-WAIT what did you need?
You needed a fish!
Boom!
Fuckin fish!
Right up!
Right up!
IT'S STRESSFUL BEING A STREET BENDER OF FOOD!!!
Pick up the fuckin fish!
Ahhh, boom and boom!
Boom jams, Boom jams, gizzity got it, gizzity go!
Gizzity get your sake and get out of my fuckin face!
You could help you know!
You could just like, you know, hand me ingredients!
Instead of fuckin sitting there!
Are you cooked?
Now you are!
Boom!
Boom!
I'm all over this!
Here! Theres an egg!
An egg, for your troubles!
Yep!
Thats a fuckin... I said that last week!
But they didn't believe me!
Uhm... There you go!
You want the same thing!
You want a little fisherdoo!?
I got you, homie!
I got you!
Look at me fucking go!!
Look at me go, ya'll!
You proud of me? I am!
Thats a golden bowl!
You should feel very honoured!
That Jack gave you a golden bowl!
He doesn't give that to everybody!
Not-certainly- not no fuck bags!
Uhm... Okay...
Boom!
That was the right one, yes!
K, what do you want?
WHAT THE FUCK!?
WHY ARE THERE JUST NINJAS IN HERE!?
GET OUT YA BITCH!!
AWW IT'S OVER!
That's why
Ah I did okay that time!
Uhm?
Hi?
Are you okay?
Why are you here?
Ha Ha Ha!
Ah, you want some sake?
I don't think she wants anything...
Ok.
Let me- let me see if I can cook you some fish.
You can have this shit food.
Shut up!
K, here ya go.
WHAT THE!!?
FUCK YOU CAT!
OKAY!
Well that does it for this episode!
Of Counter Fight!
Thank you all, for entering my kitchen.
That was a stressful experience, if i've ever had one!
I've worked in kitchens before!
I know the stresses that comes with order up!
And all that shit!
So that was very true to life...
And then some people are like...
"I didn't get my food, i'm not happy"
Blah blah blah blah blah
Not my fault!
I tried my best!
I was over here, putting rice in bowls...
Putting...
I WAS EVEN...
I wasn't even using the chopsticks!
Because
I figured, oh I just put my fuckin hand
In boiling oil....
Whatever...
THANKYOU GUYS
So much for watching this episode
IF YOU LIKED IT....
PUNCH THAT LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE....
LIKE A BOSS!!!!!
AND
High fives all around....
*WPOOSH*
*WPOOSH*
Thank you guys
AND I WILL SEE ALL YOU DUDES
IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!
*Awesome outro music*
Listen closely....
And listen once.....
Hi :)
