- Welcome to another edition
of Between Two Ferns,
my guest today is Matthew McConaughey.
- Good to be here, sir.
- Of all the things you
can win an Oscar for,
how surprised are you that
you won one for acting?
- Here we go.
- I noticed that you're wearing a shirt.
Is everything okay?
(metallic drips)
- You have a major leak in here.
- I'm so sorry.
See what's goin on with these pipes.
- Dude, don't do that.
(fire alarm rings)
- Help!
(Matthew yells)
- Who is the idiot that
installed the sprinkler system?
(bass note)
Well, he turned the sprinklers off.
(intense bass note)
(beeps)
(intense orchestral music)
- You killed Matthew McConaughey!
- He's dead?
- He's brought back to life
but he was momentarily dead.
You owe me.
Go across the country,
get ten more episodes
of Between Two Ferns.
Ten, your dumb internet talk show,
and you give me a network talk show.
I'm a white man and I'm straight.
I deserve it.
(guitar music)
Green as ever.
(mechanical noise)
Is the width off to you?
We're taking Between
Two Ferns on the road!
My guest today is Benedick
Cumber butt batch.
Bun.
Benedict Cam- Benefit Lumberjacks, uh.
- Benedict Cumberbatch.
- That's what it is.
(upbeat music)
I read online that you're very private
and decline to answer questions
that make you feel uncomfortable.
Is that true, and how old were you
when you got your first period?
- Um.
- Bradley Cooper co-wrote, directed,
and starred in A Star Is Born.
- I hear it's great.
- Are you hoping that will open
doors for other hot idiots?
- Uh.
- I don't know if I'm
gonna get these shows out.
We don't have any money.
(yells)
We're hungry.
We're gonna order the clam strips.
- How big are they?
- Have you ever seen a chicken strip?
- I've never seen a chicken wear clothes.
Go go go go!
(intense music)
- Here's to the crazy ones,
the misfits,
and ding dongs.
- I'm just curious about
the pathology behind this.
(bell rings)
- Some people would say
we're the crazy ones.
(glass shatters)
But I think we're Jesus.
(screams)
Hello.
- I love your show.
What if we take this upstairs?
- What about John Legend?
- He's probably at home
polishing his egot.
- Is that what he calls his penis?
Between Two Ferns: the movie.
Is this gonna be in theaters?
Not in theaters!
Not in theaters.
(orchestral music)
