(rooster crows)
(lion roars)
(wheel clicking)
- I should meet that little baby Rhett.
- Yeah you should, welcome
to Good Mythical More.
- Rate my jorts.
We're gonna look at a picture
of jorts and rate 'em.
- There they are,
brownforwhatever. (chuckles)
Glimpse of autumn.
Okay, there's an artsy
filter being placed on this.
You know, they're above the
knee which I'm in favor of.
- They're cutoffs, they're not hemmed.
- Those are nice.
I give those a nice, solid seven.
Nothing negative.
- I can't see what's under
that leaf on the left leg
so I'm gonna give it a
six 'cause there might be
a hole or a patch there that
he's covering up with a leaf.
And just based on the fact
that I'm a little ignorant
of the total situation,
I'm going with a six.
- The V sit always helps
with jort presentation.
All right speaking of presentation,
Ellie and Christine are
about to convince us
of a conspiracy surrounding
Khloe Kardashian.
You guys are gonna have
to fully fill us in here.
Christine--
- All the way over here.
- You gotta just really slide on over.
Don't be shy.
- (sighs) You guys.
You're in for a mind-blowing experience.
- Come on even further, Ellie.
- I know it feels weird in real life,
but in internet life,
this seems appropriate.
All right.
- Look I'm taller than
them today. (squeals)
- Way up there.
- This will come into play later.
This is all part of it.
- Okay.
So on the heels of what
just happened with Rhett,
boy I'm up for anything.
- Yeah, you seem to enjoy
these segments a lot.
- It's great, it's great,
it requires so much of me.
- Okay.
- To keep quiet.
- Great.
I will begin.
The case that we are
presenting to you today is,
is Khloe Kardashian's real dad OJ Simpson?
- The juice.
- Buh-dum.
- Dum.
- We'll add that in post.
- Okay all right.
- Okay.
So you may know--
- Well who is supposed
to be her dad?
- [Ellie, Christine And
Rhett] Robert Kardashian.
- Oh, Robert Kardashian.
So you're in the know on the Kardashians.
I've never watched the show.
- I wouldn't say I'm in the know,
but I do know that their
dad is Robert Kardashian.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
That's a bit more in the
know than your average--
- But that was OJ's lawyer.
Okay, just go, I do know that.
Okay, go for it.
- So in the saga of the Kardashian empire,
first thing's first,
I wanna say that while representing this,
we mean no disrespect
to Khloe Kardashian--
- No, love her.
- Or the empire
of Kardashians.
- We know they're all watching.
- We respect them, we love them.
We give blood rituals at the
temple, you know what I mean?
- We stan.
- We stan, we stan.
And in that effect, we wanted to present,
any of us could have secret
real biological fathers.
- That's right, yeah yeah yeah yeah, yep.
- So in solidarity, Christine,
who would be your maybe
secret real biological father?
- Frank Abagnale Junior.
I don't know if you guys watched the film
Catch Me If You Can.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- All over the place.
Could have been anywhere.
- Could have been in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
- So not Leo but the
character that he was playing.
- Yes.
- Could be your real father.
- I think so, why not?
- Okay, all right.
- He looks like a warm, yeah,
he looks like a warm guy.
I think unfortunately that
my real biological father
could be Pauly Shore.
He was in Wisconsin at
the time of my conception.
(sighs) He was filming a
television series for MTV.
He had long hair at the time--
- So do you.
- It's where I get
my perfect comic timing.
- [Rhett] (laughs) He had
long hair at the time.
- [Link] You have long hair, so does he.
- He had long hair.
- Yes.
- That's how genes work.
- So that's--
- We could be siblings.
- No, anything could be true.
- Okay, I think you've adequately hedged--
- Thank you.
- To begin here.
- So the Kardashian clan
began with Kris Jenner
and Robert Kardashian who got
married in the late 1970s.
Okay?
She had two babies with
him right off the bat.
First was Kourtney, then was Kim.
And there was a four year gap
and she had Khloe Kardashian
on June 27th, 1984.
Which means if you back
that up roughly nine months,
that this daughter was conceived September
to October of 1983.
So let's just look at the technicalities.
Was it possible that OJ Simpson
could have fathered Khloe Kardashian?
Right, so where was everyone
in the fall of 1983?
Khloe doesn't exist yet.
Kris knew OJ for 10 years at this point.
They were very close friends
so they were family friends,
they went on vacations
together, they partied,
they were known for being a little wild.
Kris was particularly
known as a party girl.
She was married to Robert
Kardashian at the time
and she was not only up to anything,
she had not started her empire,
she was kind of a bored housewife.
She was playing, she was like shopping.
That was like her thing.
- Okay, how was her back hand?
- Pretty good I've heard.
Honestly, pretty good, okay.
OJ Simpson at this time
was retired from football.
He was in Los Angeles pursuing
TV and film opportunities.
He actually shot a detective pilot
for NBC called Cocaine and Blue Eyes.
It didn't go.
- Love to see that pilot.
- Which one was he?
- No one knows.
It has not been seen.
So that pilot didn't go,
so if anyone knows anything
about shooting stuff or acting in LA,
you have so much down time.
So OJ Simpson and Kris
Jenner were in the same city
with lots of time on
their hands in the time
that Khloe Kardashian was conceived.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Yeah and they were really good friends
so they hung out a lot and
they were really close.
Christine--
- And they were both fertile.
- Yeah.
- Yes, absolutely.
- It was a time of fertility.
- Kris Jenner was I believe 28.
And OJ Simpson was 37 I think.
- Scandalous.
- Both in primes.
- Definitely thick with swimmers.
- Whoa!
- I don't, I wish I didn't say that.
(Rhett and Christine laugh)
I truly wish that phrase had never--
- Thick with swimmers.
Put that on a t-shirt.
- Okay, Christine, take it away.
- My big thing is the
physical differences.
- Okay.
- Specifically
height.
This is a very sensitive subject for me
as a short woman.
'Cause they're like around my height,
they're like five, 5'1", 5'2".
- Okay.
Kim and Kourtney?
- [Christine] Yeah Kim and Kourtney.
- Kim Kardashian is 5'3" allegedly.
I think she's shorter than that.
- [Christine] I think
she's shorter, yeah yeah.
- Kourney is reported of being 5'1".
- No.
- Khloe--
- Oh wow.
- 5'10"!
If they have the same set of parents,
their parents are also both shorter.
- This picture right here is, wow.
That is, she's not just taller--
- Her head's bigger.
- Significantly taller.
- [Rhett] She's larger,
like her head is bigger.
- I think she's in the foreground, guys.
What?
- No no, this is inaccurate.
- No she's 5'10", man.
- She's 5'10".
Rob Kardashian is 5'7".
- [Ellie] And that's
probably inflated too.
- [Christine] Kris Jenner is like 5'6".
Yeah these are probably inflated numbers.
- OJ Simpson?
- 6'1".
- 6'1".
- And also he has a daughter
who looks very similar to Khloe.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- Is that right?
- Sydney.
I think--
- But I feel like
she's an innocent, we don't
need to bring her into this.
- Okay we're not bringing her into it.
It's not about her.
- Yeah, 6'!", that's just math.
That's just math.
We could leave it there
and that would be it.
But that's not it, okay?
Clue number three.
Kris Jenner cheated a bunch,
and just like said it openly.
She wrote about it in her book.
Lots of people have confirmed this.
She was cheating while she was married
to Robert Kardashian a lot.
The only one that she
actually has put into paper
to fess up to is one that started in 1989,
well after the conception
of Khloe Kardashian,
but that's because she's very
protective about making sure
that there's no question
about this while still wanting
the maximum profitability
of saying something dramatic
like she cheated a bunch.
- Okay.
- So she said, this is
gross, but this is a quote.
- Gross quotes, love it.
- This is a quote from her about her book
when she was having affairs.
It was just wild, crazy sex all the time.
We had sex in cars, sex
on the tennis court.
Tennis.
Sex in the pool house, sex in
the garage when we got home.
Sex up and down the stairs,
sex everywhere all the time.
And I need to take a shower.
So she's an exhibitionist.
She definitely is kind of nuts.
(Link sputters)
(Christine laughs)
And high libido, definitely.
- Okay.
- And I think if you combine that
with being around a famous,
recently retired football player
whose confidence has taken a hit
because his pilot didn't go.
NBC.
- Wow.
- That's just fireworks waiting to happen.
- That's pretty good.
- And also I can't imagine
the house that it is.
I mean a pool house, a tennis court.
The real estate she's talking about.
- Stairs.
- Wow, stairs, wow, what a dream.
I'd love to see that house.
(Rhett chuckles)
Personally.
- I mean pretty--
- I love real estate.
- And also when you have excess wealth,
you just feel like you're unstoppable.
You'll do anything.
Okay.
- Okay, also--
- Clue number four.
- Khloe's also been questioning her own,
like who the father was herself.
She asked her mom on the
show if she was adopted,
and had her mom submit to a maternity test
that proved that she was the mother,
but there was no paternity
test that was done
to prove who the father was.
They also did, they never did tests to see
if the DNA between her and
her sisters were similar.
So there's, we know that
she's Kris's daughter for sure
but nothing else really.
- [Rhett] They need 23andMe.
- [Ellie] It's obvious
she's Kris's daughter.
- 23andMe will solve this.
- Right, so like, basically,
and there was another episode where--
- Is this all a 23andMe plug?
- (chuckles) Well, we
could turn it into that.
- In addition to them, despite
this being a dogged rumor
for years and years and years,
they've never gone the full thing
to double-check the
paternity to put this to bed
because they can't, because it's real.
Okay.
- Yeah.
- They're dodging it.
- Mm-hmm.
- Clue number five is that
Robert Kardashian's ex-wives
have literally said this is true.
Like, Jan Ashley who married
Robert after he divorced Kris
in 1991 told the National Enquirer,
a reputable journalistic source,
Khloe is not his kid.
He told me that after we got married.
He just kind of looked at me
and said it like it was a matter of fact.
He said, "Well, you know
that Khloe's not really
"a Kardashian, don't you?"
And I said, "Okay," and that was it.
So that's it.
- Wow.
- Another--
- This is pretty convincing.
I mean, it's no Finland
doesn't exist, but it's---
- Okay, the final part is
that we know someone here.
We have an expert witness
here in this very building
who grew up in Los Angeles--
- Mm-hmm.
- And through connections
that we cannot specify
because there might be ramifications,
knew Robert Kardashian
and that person is Chase.
Chase, come on out--
- Mystery guest.
- Do you swear on the oath of Mythicality
that you are not lying that
you knew Robert Kardashian
when he was alive.
- Yeah.
(Rhett laughs)
- In your opinion based on nothing--
- [Rhett] So convincing, yeah.
- That could implicate
anyone that you care about,
in your opinion, do
you think it's possible
that Khloe Kardashian was
fathered by OJ Simpson?
- Yeah.
- Yes!
- Woo!
You heard it here.
(Ellie pounds table)
Chase.
- Done, what's this?
- Wow, Chase.
- I don't know what this is.
- Chase.
- The juice.
- Now that Chase came
in and said yeah twice--
- That was a big moment.
- Whew!
- That's when the tables turned for me.
- What do you think?
- I just, I don't--
- I believe this one.
- Wow.
- I think it was a tremendous presentation
and I just, it just doesn't,
I just don't care too much about it.
(all laughing)
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