

## Layers of Love

### by Serena Liebfried

### Layers of Love

### by Serena Liebfried

### Copyright 2016 Serena Liebfried

### e-book cover by Andrei Dragomirescu

### Smashwords Edition

### Smashwords Edition License Notes

Thank you for downloading this e-book. It is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this e-book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite retailer. Thank you for your support.

## Acknowledgments

I would like to express my deepest appreciation to Andrei Dragomirescu for creating my e-book cover.

### In addition, I would like to express my gratitude to the following contemporary musicians: Wieslaw Sobieski, Rahul Kedare and David Won.

## Table of Contents

To the Reader

Some old Greek Masks and Layers

Ruler

Explorer

Charmer

Healer

Connect with me

To the Reader

Serena Maier shared the e-book "Love and Layers" on your Timeline, yesterday at 23.54

The French writer, Charles Baudelaire, started his poem To the Reader (Au Lecteur) with some powerful lines: "Folly, error, sin, greed/ occupy our minds and leave our body powerless". He concluded that dullness was the supreme evil. Well, he was French and lived 200 years ago, without Internet, Google, Facebook or Twitter.

Nowadays, things are quite different... We are so terrified of getting bored! We fill our entire life with all sorts of useless things, burying our souls in expensive screens and tagged messages. Pathetic, isn't it? I indulge myself in nostalgic deep posts, you — in surfing the web for funny or offensive pictures. With each passing day, we both force ourselves to enjoy solitude, to appreciate everything that is free, superficially charming, entertaining and viral.

Nowadays, to rephrase Baudelaire, it is this fear of boredom that blinds us from the most important aspect of our lives: a happy long-term relationship. This is something that transcends all momentary pleasures and requires a lot of time for self-reflection... As you may have already noticed, we seem to be prone to love in moments of pure monotony.

With all these thoughts in mind, I started writing about my "layer-istic" life... a little bit poetical, essayistic, sensual, mythological... sounds too complicated, doesn't it? Unfortunately, my feelings seem reluctant to be put into simple words. Between "I like you!" and "I want you!" there are mixed emotions that make me communicate less...

I don't believe we've already lost the ability to share hues of feelings... I guess we've only become accustomed to moving a layer above our heart, dropping an inner shadow over it.

In the end, it all becomes so unreal!

My dear Reader ("hypocrite lecteur"), can you remove that noise filter effect and change your transparency preferences on me? Our happiness is not about retouching reality, but touching it deeply.

Faithfully yours,

Serena

Some Old Greek Masks and Layers (not a draft)

"How do I take better photos?" I'm sure you've heard this question over and over again. I kept repeating it. "The trick is to get closer to your subject, fill the whole frame ... and then, take it home for post-processing. For better results, you can use various techniques, but to master them, I recommend you find some information about..." Well, I finally took this useful piece of advice, read and got closer to some amazing mythological figures.

However, since I didn't have that fast Canon 5D Mark II camera, I used words to take the shots I wanted. "To make the most of my subjects", I adjusted lighting, applying metaphors and ellipses. But most of all, I looked at all scenes selectively, and found details quite revealing and already popular among artists. Consequently, as you may check, I uploaded some paintings by Rubens, Klimt and Crespi on my Facebook page.

The result of my artistic pursuit was quite surprising; I've been heavily criticized since then... for spreading false pagan stories. I've been called a "slut" for taking the liberty of posting artistic nudity! Does it matter so much if my judges are Christians, Muslims or Jews? They all seem to have the same misunderstanding of my perspective and my creative pursuits.

I've always thought Artists should remain true to their sacred nature. They are nothing but charmed birds, flying above dogmas, rules and traditions.

On this rotten realm, their only mission is to rouse ordinary people like me from ignorance, make everyone look up. Yes, they are always on top of us, far and away, passing over our expectations, simply... doodling (find out more about Constantin Brancusi, Bird in Space).

An Artist should never lower his quest for my cause, but above all, should never become a jerk to his heart. "Can I get an Amen for this?" I guess my ideas have become offensive to some, lately.

Leaving religion aside, mythology consists of many interesting tales regarding our love behavior. We do not seem to feel, talk and share feelings the same way, and I do not allude to the male and female difference, as I found it irrelevant. Since each of us is an unbalanced union of both feminine and masculine traits (perhaps I have to explain C.G.Jung's theory of animus and anima), we both come from the same Earth, rather than from Mars and Venus (John Gray's book Men are from Mars, women are from Venus did not give me any clue on the whereabouts of homosexuals).

Hallelujah! (I feel like humming Cohen's song right now. "But you don't really care for music, do you?"). We are all made of the same clay but shaped differently and these inner shapes are the archetypes. Briefly, they are our background layers.

If you want to find yours, take this quiz, choosing the first answer that comes to your mind.
Quiz

Answer the following questions:

1. Which do you prefer?

a) money

b) friendship

c) social position

d) honor

2. What makes you most uncomfortable?

a) criticism

b) constrains

c) lack of affection

d) feeling useless

3. What gift do you actually want from your significant other?

a) any token of affection

b) scented candles, perfume

c) an expensive watch or bag

d) anything artistic or creative

4. What word describes you best?

a) pragmatic

b) curious

c) attractive

d) intelligent

5. What is your favorite verb?

a) to possess

b) to create

c) to have fun

d) to understand

6. In a relationship, you are ready to:

a) take control

b) be permissive

c) praise the other

d) make sacrifices

7. After a fight, you:

a) focus on yourself and revisit the issue

b) leave to sort things through

c) take revenge and victimize yourself endlessly

d) go into full withdrawal mode for days

8. What is the most important quality you look in others?

a) kindness

b) open-mindedness

c) blind loyalty

d) honesty

9. If you could send a message to a former lover that broke your heart, this message would be:

a) It was not my fault!

b) I'll never forget you!

c) It's your loss!

d) Wish you all the best!

Results:

Now, count your answers to find out your archetype!

More a) = Ruler

More b) = Explorer

More c) = Charmer

More d) = Healer

1. Ruler

You like to control everything, you fight for your dreams and change defeat into life lessons. [I am a Ruler, by the way.]

2. Explorer

You enjoy experimenting and crossing boundaries, you follow any path in order to fulfill your desire.

3. Charmer

You believe in your qualities, helping only those who accept you (as you are) and provide for you.

4. Healer

You trust your instincts and your inner strength; you believe that good deeds will result in a better fate.

### ***

Have you found your background yet?

Next step would be to add a layer mask to it! Do not blame anyone for this; it is entirely your choice!
From White (full opacity) to Black (full transparency)

aggressivity: furious, angry, ardent, mad, vengeful, intrusive, wicked, frustrated, ironical, feeling afraid...

fear: terrified, confused, startled, anxious, rejected, alienated, submissive, humiliated, insignificant, feeling sad...

sadness: wounded, miserable, abandoned, powerless, inferior, embarrassed, defeated, helpless, tired, feeling lonely...

loneliness: speechless, guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, disgusted, lost, indifferent, homeless, bored, feeling stiff...

stiffness: vain, selfish, confident, respected, valued, appreciated, admired, assertive, justified, feeling proud...

pride: unsupportive, arrogant, selfish, bossy, glorious, playful, self-absorbed, trustful, relaxed, feeling serene...

serenity: calm, self-righteous, deep, faithful, serious, intense, cool, harsh, acrid, feeling aggressive.
Ruler

Dominant love = I protect

In love, we all start as kings, but end up as closers. We all want to dominate, be admired, wed the best. However, in order to get there, we have to overrule our mirror, defend our dreams and question our freedom.

At one point, we realize our Time is almost up, and then, we become submissive. We convince ourselves it's more convenient to settle down to an agreeable social position, complete the deal "till death set as apart". We negotiate for someone we feel entitled to possess and responsible to protect, for someone in need.

My time is up, too, I'm afraid. Here I stand tall, chin up, doing my best to work things out. I even drew up a contract to help us overcome our differences.

Please review this, before we decide to formalize our relationship.

"We, _____________as Author and _____________as Reader,

hereby agree on this day:______of this year:______ to the following terms.

1. We have the right to examine our heart and have moments in which to notify each other of any claim for the damages based on the previous life conditions.

2. Such notice must specify in details the particulars of the claim.

3. Failure to provide such notice within the requisite time period constitutes irrevocable acceptance."

I am aware that some people may have a problem with the word "acceptance" and do not commit, others with the word "irrevocable" and replace it with "changeable". I know you have doubts only about the first part, "have the right to examine".

I am ready to invest all my understanding and loyalty in you, my Reader. Please, try to understand my position. How am I to protect you, if you don't let me know who you truly are?
Serena's Status: Only Me

Most people dream of spring's soft grace

and close their eyes in winter's madness.

They hope for tenderness to bear fruit,

Under some "icy" looks and silent hugs

and civil distance...

But I'm no dreamer!

And time has come

to leave the frigid harsh pursuit of perfect love,

and crown myself with some aphonic memories,

like once Apollo did with his love Daphne.

Notes

It is said that Apollo, the powerful Greek god of Music, Light and Truth, mocked the god of Love, Eros, diminishing his power.

Insulted, Eros made Apollo fall in love with a nymph, Daphne, the daughter of a river god, Peneus.

Full of lust, Apollo chased Daphne everywhere, but she constantly turned him down. Eventually, Apollo managed to catch her, but as he was taking her into his arms, the nymph called up for her father's help. In order to save her, Peneus transformed his daughter into a laurel tree.

Apollo was broken-hearted and vowed never to forget Daphne. In her honor, the god decided to wear a crown of laurel on his head. He also gave the laurel tree apparent immortality (it stays green and does not rot) and to this gift, the tree (Daphne) bowed its head in gratitude.

This plot conceals a deeper meaning. Loving someone that does not share your feelings is always a troubling experience.

### ***

Be aware!

1. even the hard to get and arrogant people (Apollo's type) are not immune to falling in love.

2. in the case of unrequited love, both the rejecter (Daphne) and the rejected (Apollo) experience unpleasant emotions such as: disappointment, anger, anxiety and guilt.

3. in real life, the person that rejects doesn't run away. Instead, he may send mixed messages, trying to be polite and friendly. Although he doesn't speak any rejecting words, he certainly does not invest any trust and can't commit. On other hand, the aspiring lover may become more and more frustrated each day.

4. sometimes, as in the case of Daphne, the rejecter may turn into a passive, speechless, family rooted "plant". This is a form of regression to childhood, which is a psychological defense mechanism triggered by fear. It is meant to prevent one from suffering. In some other cases, the rejecter may end up feeling guilty for hurting the would-be lover's feelings. Stricken by remorse, she may carelessly head for another intimate relationship, no matter how abusive, as a sort of self-induced punishment.

5. for the one who was rejected, the memory of the time he had been spurned might crown his mind forever (like the laurel on Apollo's head).

6. since no one enjoys being harassed, remember that true love means wishing the best for the other and doing everything to make him successful and happy. After all, Daphne symbolically "surrenders," when Apollo is no longer an ardent lover and makes her a gift without any sexual intentions (he gave her "immortality", after she had lost her attractive human form).

7. in conclusion, remember that unrequited love is just another learning life experience, an opportunity for change.
My Person of Interest Suits Himself

Serena Liebfried — listening to Tchaikovsky, Symphony No. 6, Pathétique

Movies teach us to be bold, even annoyingly persistent, because in the end: Good triumphs over Evil, Love wins over the Undecided and the Hero gets the Girl. Really? True love is not about winning and it certainly does not make wooing so difficult.

I must confess, like everyone else, I had my share of unrequited love. But unlike you, I played the rejecter and the rejected at the same time. I know it sounds impossible, and you don' believe me. For this reason, I've made my storyline as easier for you to follow as I could. Hope you enjoyed listening to fairy tales when you were a kid...

Once upon a time, when folk were not as wise as they are nowadays, there lived a plain young woman, in her twenties, working as a cultural event manager in Hermannstadt, a city so far away.

Now, every morning she would take a bus and get to the office, where a large cup of coffee would await for her on her little round desk.

So, one rainy day, when a funny crimson car was parked just in front of the entrance, making her angrily grind the teeth, she met there a young man, in his twenties, wearing a nice straw hat and a tan suit. She spotted him as soon as she opened the office door. He was annoyingly humming something and kept bending all over her desk, eager to take a closer look at some photos.

"Madame la Fleur", she said sharply as she rushed for the cup, for fear of accidental spilling. But, then... he raised his eyebrows in surprise and gave her an innocent, childish smile, so ... she continued with a softer, feminine voice... "my cat, in the photos... likes to mess up my flowers and..." She tried to regroup behind the cup, tilting the head to the side and closing her lips in a smile.

For seconds they were the only ones on Earth ... this plain, curvy maiden and her handsome, dazzled man, with his thumbs tucked into the tops of his pockets... My God! He could have easily turned heads just by walking down the street like that. Surprisingly, he was not a Calvin Klein model, as she first thought; he was an anonymous jazz player from another country, coming to the Jazz Festival she organized.

[Now, be honest! Have you pictured Brad Pitt in your mind for a second? You are so wrong, please cast Jim Caviezel for this part, I like him better, he has that innocent sweetness.]

So he drove off to his kingdom, in that funny crimson car, but they did not live happily ever after.

[That is only the trailer, of course...]

Let's stop for a moment! I have important comments to make. I knew, from the very beginning, I just knew deep inside... that man was out of my reach. However, just like you, I was taught to dream big, work hard and fight for all I desire. I did... For the next months, at least... I did my very best to look as hot as possible, buy Steilamann elegant office clothes and Este Lauder long lasting make-up, lose all appetite, a lot of weight, gossip about him and search to find everything about his life... All that, because he made me feel special...

Now, do you remember the story of Daphne, I've just told you before? At that time, I was the would-be lover acting nice.

So... this daily theatrical performance started to drain me of all my power. Beneath our silent friendly hugs and polite looks, I was feeling a lot, I was deeply stirred, fantasizing a future together. I remember getting totally obsessed with my phone as I got the feeling he was trapped there and I had to set him free, as often as I could...

Hopefully, Madame La Fleur was there, also, to remind me, on a daily basis, I have to set more realistic goals... like: buying food cat, doing the cleaning, cooking, finding other clients to make even more money.

Oh, yeah! I had a 10-year long dream at that time: 1. a great career to make my father proud; 2. a bigger house; 3. more cats; 4. a husband; 5. three or four kids, boys and girls. Good planning, wasn't it? Well, in all those days and nights, I aspired to something completely different, mostly dreaming about his blue gentle eyes. They gave me moments of sheer enthusiasm and moments when I told myself: "No way, Serena, Jazz festival would only last a summer!"

Nevertheless, all those moments ended up the same way, in a glass of beercoff, dark beer mixed with coffee... [Warning! Do not try this at home! I am Serena, I behaved out of character.] Those miscible liquids can only make you think faster and get over... "things" entirely. [To be honest, at this point, I really want to leave the whole story behind.]

You see, he more I talk to you, the more I realize my jazz player was nothing but a talented wanderer through life, having no career ambitions, ready to play any piano, in any small, insignificant city.

Well, I guess my motivational speeches made him finally court me, ask me out to "visit" his place, but... by that time, I'd already waken up from this reverie.

The plot is about to get more realistic, I'm afraid, and the trailer so much dull.

Once upon a time, when folk were wise as they are nowadays, there lived a handsome young man, in his twenties, working as a jazz player in a small coffee bar, in Berlin, a far away city. Now, every evening he would take his funny crimson car to get to that obscure place, where a large bottle of cheap beer would await for him on his old piano.

So, one evening, when there were not so many customers inside (as usual!), he met there a no longer plain woman in her twenties, wearing some fine, shinning, silver earrings and a dashing black dress. She had a rather straight reddish hair, and surprisingly for some, she came a long way, actually, she came from another country just to hear him play there a special song. And they ended up hugging...

But... she did not drive off with him, that night. She almost turned into a laurel tree, and he started to wear her silver earring. I am kidding, of course! Please, don't worry, they all lived happily ever after.

### ***

Your guess is right, my dear Reader, all people involved in this contemporary tale are still alive.

Well, closing credits come now:

Serena Maier: someone like Me

Kai Vulcan: someone like Jim Claviazel

Locations: Hermannstadt (in an office like the one from "Suits"), Berlin (in any common, small, jazz coffee bar you could think of).

Stage Director: someone like Mikael Liebfried
Serena's Status: What's on my mind

"...and made them grasp themselves in silent prayer,

to resurrect again into your heart."

As spirit from your spirit breathes through me,

I seek redemption only in your true forgiveness.

Bring me some crazy miracle, I beg you!

A part of me is a sheer disbelief,

not whole again and left behind into oblivion,

a wise anonymous, a numb and fool Tammuz...

You've left me struggle in a hell of lament,

to fornicate the demons and feel cheap.

You've left all memories to rot in silence,

And used me as your pleasure's stupid toy.

But I'll not longer scorn you for your selfish deeds.

I've lost all blame. I've paid my price to see

you are my... ladder-cross I have to climb for Passion,

still pure beneath your vice, still true beneath deceit.

My love,

I should have told from beginning that:

"Your whiteness won over the dimness of my hands..."
Notes

Here comes another mythological story I find quite revealing for us, no longer Aryan, but Semitic.

Tammuz, an intelligent, hard-working shepherd fell in love with the powerful Ishtar, the Goddess of Love, Sex, Fertility and War.

They got married shortly and seemed to be a match made in Heaven.

However, one day, Ishtar, unexpectedly left home, slowly heading towards the Underworld, a horrible dark place.

There was no apparent reason for this; Tammuz didn't seem to understand why his loving wife would ever choose such a path. "She is selfish! You gave Her everything! It's not your fault!" people around him would say, endlessly.

He agreed, sat down on a chair, poured himself a cup of some fine barley beer and listened. To everyone, but not to his own whispers... They never lie! They were chanting something different:

"there's always a cause hatching an effect,

a cause that screwed the effect before,

but the purest cause of all,

the first in Timeline,

is you, Tammuz, always you, Her love."

[No, he was so not ready to listen!]

Abandoned, confused, tired, he could do nothing... but watch his lover pass through all the gates of Darkness... one at a time... each delusional, each worse than the rest.

Until that odd moment came, when he closed his eyes in disgust, slightly raising one corner of his upper lip. "Better keep my head up today!" he thought, "Ah! it's going to rain, soon! Storm's coming! Stay in, all day! Such a bore!"

Totally unaware of this danger, Ishtar kept descending... stripped of all her beauty, dignity and powers. She reached the lowest layer of hell, being nothing more than a hideous being.

But there, at the very bottom, surrounded by all the misery and wreckage of this world, she had a moment of rude awakening. She wanted to feel alive again! Yes! She wanted to be saved! She had already lost everything, even the blame she had put on herself for leaving.

It was late... she started shouting out for his help... and felt tired! She had already lost her sweet, human voice he was able to hear... It was late! Her torments forcefully rammed into the celestial palace... the mind of the gods. Her kin listened, understood... it sounded like torture. They sent the divine keeper of Wisdom, Enki, to make a connection, stop this agony, save her at all costs.

Ishtar would be free, gods finally decided, only if another man would take her place. But who would ever do that willingly? Sacrifice himself? And for what?

She had no beauty, no personal possessions, not even a clear mind... She was nobody! No one believed in Our Savior, at that time, to even care! Unfortunately, He was not there, among us, to hand over His long wooden ladder-cross. There was no one around to help her climb back to the living, stand tall, chin up... only demons ready to follow.

But her demons had a mission, a very clear objective: "Hunt a guy down, doesn't matter who, put him in her place, make him feel the same hell, cry as like she did! Make him beg each night for a painless death... make him take a poisonous cup to his lips, at each dawn... but allow him enough hope to beat the daylights out of himself and delay drinking it completely..."

"Leave him alone, thirsting and fighting himself", their dark Master further more instructed, "until he is able to show you forgiveness... To give up resentment competely will make him rise above all of us, gods of the Light and gods of the Darkness."

However, resurrected Ishtar didn't think much of this deal; she enjoyed being saved, as her friend, Enki, rushed her to... [I am stuck here, right now, in this story. There cannot be a hospital for gods, so I have no idea what to write next. Hmm! Let's pretend, there is such a hospital and go on... I am happy Enki arrived to her on time. He was smart enough to avoid the traffic jam in Alexander Platz, he is the god of Wisdom, after all.] So, Enki took her to this special ER, to a huge resuscitation area, where an agitated doctor checked and monitor her airway, breathing and pulse, gave her oxygen. [I have no idea whom to send my thanks, I was not able to find out what happened there.]

Followed by her demons, Isthar had just reentered this selfish world and recovered the status: "feeling good".

After some weeks of recovery, she was happy and powerful again! All things lost were coming back. The great Goddess of Love was alive, proud of herself, she conquered death.

Well, the moment she regained her human voice, she wanted to run back to her man, to their home.[ My first choice here was to use the verb "walk", instead of "run", just to give you an idea about her moving at a speed that is faster. True, she was eager to go home to her man. I just hope you've learned from the previous story, not to have high hopes for anyone.]

So, once upon a time, when folk were wiser as they are nowadays, there lived a resurrected divine woman. One evening, she drove off to Tammuz's kingdom [let's imagine it was as big and attractive as New York city! No! It can't be right! I start to mix stories, too. Damn!].

Ok, coming back... She spotted him as soon as she opened the bedroom door. He was fully exposed... annoyingly moaning... bending over. She wanted to rush for him, but he turned around, deeply shocked. For a moment, she wanted to say something witty, make him feel really, really bad, but she couldn't say anything.

She only called the demons and pointed at him, speaking only with Her hands... Tammuz hid his face deep in his palms, covering his eyes again, but this time, crying, in utter despair.

He was caught naked, not mourning for Her, but giving pleasure from behind to a slave. That ordinary wretched whore immediately jumped up, shaking in fear, screaming. She ran into Ishtar who was too hurt to avoid being hit. The Goddess of Sex was numb, could not think, felt outraged and so damn vengeful. And the only thing She was able to see in front of her eyes... was this worn-out, drunk shepherd, sobbing on Her bed "I'm so sorry, love! I'm so sorry!"

In the end, she managed to let go. Yes, she did! There were even moments, when She could give up anger completely. Only in those moments, Tammuz could resurrect, too, take a small mouthful of fresh air and recover his human sweet voice

But suddenly, without any warning, the Goddess of War would "reflow" everything in Her mind, mostly the sounds: that annoying moaning... the bark of his naked hip moving... the hiss of the slave's round butt... the squeaking bed frame, all pitching and plunging on Her best memory sheets, on her covers. And just like then, She would raise Her hands, call the demons again, make Tammuz creep out, leave home and start descending ... the same hell... the same poisonous cup... each time delusional, each time worse than before.

Until one day, a storm came, turned into a Flood and washed them all from my history.

This story has a rather nice ending, don't you think?

My first thought was to write something like: we all bury and resurrect in our heart people we deeply love. But then, I come to realize that the most unfortunate part of this story makes me truly sad. Our love can't live without forgiveness. I think I should have told from beginning that...

### ***

Be aware!

1. descending to the Underworld [entering a depression/addiction episode] could happen to anyone, no matter how happy they seem to be. People with this disorder are commonly misunderstood, as they cannot change this condition at will.

2. like Ishtar, a depressed/addicted person, may lose everything in terms of good looks and social position. Struggling to take control over the dark side is a tiring experience. Consequently, one may experience feelings of helplessness or being physically drained.

3. emotional support is a key element in any recovery, but it is Wisdom (Enki) that saves lives by imposing empathy [the capacity to understand someone by placing yourself in his position].

4. while Ishtar was suffering, Tammuz was having a good time; he was partying instead of mourning. Of course, anyone can empathize with her. She must have been terribly hurt, after she caught him cheating.

5. let's change this perspective for a moment! A painful episode in someone's life triggers anxiety, a state of inner turmoil, panic and confusion. To reduce its damaging power, our ego uses a defense mechanism that is meant to protect our personality from falling.

To help you better understand this, I will make a short analogy.

Imagine your inner system keeps freezing after installing unsupported software (betrayal/sorrow over the departure of your lover/aggression), what else can you do, but press desperately that F.Key, that Arrow Up and Down. Ok, you have (Re) Started, you can see the Desktop, Control Panel, rush to check the basic Files and Drivers... they are all there!... drag some Icons to see if they can be moved (make a prayer!), then hurry to pound some Bin— you like to have the (Recycle) Bin on your screen, no doubt!— you can do this and you can do that... you may even enjoy a moment of relief, until you realize the truth. Network is beyond repair! Your defense mechanism prevented you to fully open yourself up, so you are stuck in (Computer) Love Safe Mode, only.

Although your Heart is not completely unresponsive, it is allowed to feel in a limited state, and you hate this so much, because you remember the whole love experience used to be much better, once.

Sadly, most defense mechanisms are fairly unconscious; this means you do not realize using them in the moment. For instance, like Tammuz, many people experiencing loss use displacement, they rapidly shift affection from their true love interest (Ishtar) to someone accessible (the slave girl) or even family (becoming the family rooted plant, I was telling you about earlier).

Now, have you ever felt you are acting differently and even told yourself something like: "I've never thought I could cheat/get drunk/get high", "I am a decent, hard-working, faithful person!"?

Yes, I am sure you were once. But you can't change doing something regretful can you? You can change your job, your clothes, your partner, but not this. Do you know why? Because this shameful moment of vice makes you feel damn alive! It is your moment of relief! You know it won't last. It is not the real thing. You simply know all the things people blame you for. You don't need a shrink to tell you that your (Love) System has a inner serious malfunction! You are aware of everything, but you simply delay repairs. They are expensive and to be honest, you didn't Shut Down completely, did you?

5. come on, my Reader! It's time for us to move on! I've already told you, my time is up! Press that Power button, click Recovery. Brace yourself! No, I won't give you that winter is coming quote! But you, my friend, are about to lose same important Data about yourself. You must do this in order to return to the Preinstalled need for Affection. Delete the all files that start with: "Are you crazy?","No!", "I will not forgive", "I am not capable", "I can't love anymore"!

Before you do that, let me give you a warning. You can trust words, but, never trust a sentence! At all!

I told you about pounding the "bin", two minutes ago, but it was not the "box" that I had in mind. Have you checked the definition already? In slang, "bin" also means "vagina", so pounding one means "making love to a woman, striking her hard." I said you hurry when you do that, and you didn't contradict me. I also implied you like to have "vaginas" on your screen. Do you? I hope you don't feel offended. You are probably the decent person you pretend to be...

Well, you didn't see that coming, did you? Me using slang terms! Wow! Why not? Who is there to stop me? To tell you the truth, I didn't trick you by using this impolite word, "bin" [I am sure you'll remember this one from now on!]. No! You were deceived by the formal context I placed my word in [something to do with computers... but, I am sure you don't remember that, too well].

Well, if I could insult your intelligence like this, just to prove my point, imagine what can do to you in real life, if I really want to make you suffer! I don't, so I'd better stop using these threatening If-clauses.

Hmm! Just to make sure... I hope you are aware that "sentence" is a polysemantic word, too. It has several meanings... Oops, I did it again! So, let't read this again, together, this time: never trust I sentence, my Reader! [You have the right to appeal! You can win this! Harvey said it in "Suits", so many times, you know!]

The Human Diaries

Serena Liebfried — listening to Camille Saint-Saëns, Dance Macabre

23.05.2011

berlin k

24.05.2011

nothing to write about

25.05.2011

nothing to write about

26.05.2011

cant speak.

27.05.2011

hermannstadt home i cant get out lost my key

28.05.2011

found some dead flowers forgot to water them

29.05.2011

try to read... Boot up to a complete new level of understanding what

30.05.2011

out

26.06.2011

writing seems a good idea i dont write well i make mistakes.

I make punctuation mistakes, spelling mistakes... i don't write well.

04.09.2011

Do men love differently? Is Serena hard to get?

12.10.2011

found the cat dead near the fertilizer forgot to lock the bottle im a monster i write badly again i have to restrain You are a monster, Serena!

13.10.2011

nothing to write about, drank a lot

14.10.2011

nothing to write about. La fleur is dead not get another one i Will kill that too...

20.11.2011

Went to the opera. Music was great. Donizetti? Lucia...? i dont remember... i don't remeber! I don't remember! Damn it!

25.11.2011

I got a big bonus! Me! A bonus! I got it! I did great! Thank you for your support! Who's singing jazz now? Who? Ouch! Hangover tomorrow, for sure!

Workaholic till I die! The sun is shinin' baby! Sun is... shinin', Can't you tell I got news for you, Sun is shinning and so are you... la-la-la."

01.01.2012

Yes, I will keep pressing on. I will search for my man. He should not be: 1. flirty, 2. social, 3. really hot, 4. blue-eyed, 5. a musician.

I should quit Jazz Festival, I hate jazz, anyway.

02.01.2012

Something to add: 6. I do not want to be in a continuous competition with other girls for a man's attention, 7. I do not want to feel easily replaced.

06.01.2012

This night I had the same dream. I am back in Berlin... K. is in front of me, I feel his sharp look, as I am mixing my Kostrizer black beer with...I wish it all stops now...with this...

Wake up, now, Serena!...

He starts talking, he is honest... tells me about having... affair... "Wir waren nur Freunde"...yes, we were just friends... I just can't hear the rest..."uns zu mir gehen...", let's go there, to his place, now... yes! My skin wants it so badly... No! My mind is fighting so much against.

I am deaf... He looks at me so intensively... his mouth moves, though, he must be saying something... but I can't hear... all those memories are yelling at me... my inner ears star to hurt... "I will talk to the Indians, Kala and Romina"... "oh, I met Romina today at rehearsal"... "She was crying, poor soul, got bitten by her husband"... "has a nice body"... Oh!... He did tell me about her before. I didn't think... they were... Why not?... that soft dark skin... I can picture them now, so damn close, kissing... Where have you been Serena? All that time!

It gets foggy and cold around... I manage to stand up, head for the door and rush to the hotel with my face hid in my hands. Is this Me, right now... crying?!

He is following me silently on the street, I feel him moving slowly behind...

I stop and turn back at him. No! I can't look into his eyes.

He is near me, now, hugging me with such a tender love, compassionate love. I can't move my arms... damn!

I feel so stupid for not knowing, this hurts so much, stupid for coming here this feels worse... so incredibly stupid i knew his past... this feels so bad... beyond all the words in all languages... im still cursed to love him. I am still cursed, me, Serena, capital letter! I still make mistakes! Wake up, now! No, I am still here, dreaming... I'm trying to raise my hands to push him away, but...suddenly, I feel my fingers become fluid... dropping in dim... dim... dimmer blood stains.

I am going to die now, for sure. I know this! No one can save me! It is too late!

I am suddenly so conscious about everything in my life, able to hear again all sounds of nature, people from across the street... even La Fleur meowing back home...

My God! I understand EVERYTHING now!

Serena! Wake UP!

02.02.2012

Therapist says it's ok to dream... Aha! Really?! It gets so damn real, each time! I keep staring at my hands for hours, after I wake up! Why?

04.02.2012

nothing to write about tired

14.02.2012

nothing to write about, same dream damn

repetitive thoughts are a sign of insanity, repetitive words are a sign of insanity...

March

my birthday, alone, drank a lot: beercof + champgne + white wine

April

out to party, beer \+ beer + scotch + coffee + beercof

May

... went to a Nick's wedding to confort Judy. She did great. I was proud of her. She kept a smile on her face all day. How could she do that? I would have been broken! The sermon was different... the choir, exceptional! How come I'd never heard these singers before? I kept wandering: "Do they have a manger?"

Serena Liebfried — listening to Agni Parthene(Αγνή Παρθένε)-Petros Gaitanos (Πέτρος Γαϊτάνος), "Fecioară curată"-Byzantion Choir

2013

This year, Pope Benedict XVI resigned. I did not. I actually started to go more often to Holy Trinity Cathedral, to everyone's surprise. "You, in a church!", "Hai, mă!", "What?!", "Are you changing your faith, now?", "Warum?", "Are you OK?", "Is it safe for you there?", "therapy doesn't work", "I see...", "religious people go crazy these days", "blow themselves up".

I can't stop people from talking about things they don't fully understand! Guess, it is difficult for them to accept we have different values in this life.

To be honest, at first, I was interested only in the choir's performance, now I am more into this deep Byzantine orthodox music! Not at all, the joyous gospel, you may find in movies, "Sister Act", I mean! This sounds genuine and tender! It makes you feel God is something more that an old humble Chap, waiting for your visit.

Take for instance, this song, "Agni Parthene"... it is amazing! Made me cry instantly and I can't stand people crying in public. I first heard in Greek, last year, at the Nick's wedding. I had no idea what it was talking about... but I felt ... it was the best summary of my entire life! All regrets included! All suffering! Amazing music! It is said to have been composed by angels themselves. For sure, this is not a human creation!

The priest disagrees, however... tells me I should get real. All human beings are capable of great deeds! Hmm... Such a funny wise man!

He said that if I feel 1%, guilty for something, I should try fix that percent, and let God worry about the rest. Well, I am sorry, God, for that 99%, I have left You. We both know my 1% is not telling people how I truly feel. I have no idea how to fix this. Lighting candles doesn't seem to help me, so far, but I am doing my best here. What else can I do? I have nothing else to lose, now.... You see, I've already blown up my chance with Your best man on earth... we could have been so great together...

2014

Jazz Festival is a hit. Yes, I've nailed it!

This year, during Easter, I got a greeting message from K. He is a lost cause, I see it clearly. Also, nicht "wahr"? Not true? Where can I possibly look for "true" love?

I found out he'd left Berlin months ago. He's playing in Jazzkeller, Frankfurt, now. I am truly happy for him. Such a huge step in his career!

Why can't I hate him?

How can you hate an honest man?

had that dream again, part of it...

### *

For two weeks, I dated a manager with no artistic background ... Nice looking, though, blue eyed... a blonde-haired person. Got bored! Nothing to talk about! I tried to be subtle...

Now, why couldn't he take break up easily? He behaved like a woman! Worse that Judy! And she was the worst, two years ago... crying all over the office. Nick had dumped her before Valentine's day to marry a chick! Ouch! At least, I was "lady" enough to do in March.

I felt a bit sorry for him, but, we were not sexually involved, so...

He sent ten messages in just one day. Pathetic! Really? Ten messages! To quote Roy: "Go home and walk the dog, dude!"

I know I shouldn't talk like that, but sometimes Roy's obscene words are the only ones able to express my anger. Why am I so angry at him, all the time?!

Serena Liebfried — listening to O Zone, Dragostea din tei

2015

For almost a month, I dated a tenor. I forgot to meet him once and made him wait in front of Amsterdam Cafe. To be honest, I was two hours late. No excuse! He said I was being wicked and left me. Hmm... I was actually doing my best. I just couldn't help being late... Such a disappointment! Germans are so famous for their punctuality, here in Romania! [It is a defensive tactic, if you really want to know. It is their way of telling the others they are predictable, so they must be nice, they can't be a threat. Yes, they can! They have this inner "proud" circle that makes them feel secure, so they protected it carefully, being stubborn, argumentative, polite, laughing only at smart jokes, holding on to their traditions and being so damn thrifty, all the time. These are the very things I'd hated my father for, ever since I was a child. When all these qualities prove useless in keeping someone away, they fight back and fighting is what they feel they are actually born for.]

.No, it was not entirely my fault...That tenor 1.was no Pavarotti. 2. didn't like to talk about opera, and I love to chat about that with everyone! Even my doorkeeper knows I am crazy about this.

3. Why should I invest my time and money in a mediocre voice with no future?

### *

I finally met Him! My different man, unapproachable... not social, not a musician, not a pretty-boy, so average looking... truly, the end of my blue-eyed era! Only noticeable things about him are: 1. his rounded butt, 2. his long legs. Hot! Fortunately enough for me, women in my office are not looking at these things. Judy is interested only in "the heart" (?!) and my chief, A.D., is already happily married with children.

Well, he's hard to get, alright, my Man... acting ironic and witty all the time. I've never seen anyone shifting so easily from nice to icy... He must have suffered a lot! Great challenge!

Some of his photos are mind blowing, the best ones I've seen so far! Wow! He instantly won me over with this.

Setbacks... He was married! + a daughter + a son (dead) + health problems = Future Tragedy!

I have so many questions, now:

1. Cause of divorce?

2. Where is she?

3. How does she look like?

A.D. says he was caught in bed with another woman, and A.D. knows everything. I can imagine how hurt that wife must have been, finding about that! Damn it! I though he was a safe bet.

We met, went to see "Tosca" together, had fun, talked. He admitted playing around. Aha!

Not a word about his wife! Hmm!

Not a word about his broken ribs. How did it come about? Stupid accident, fight, illness, suicide attempt....can be anything. A. D. says she has no idea about this, either. I can't ask Roy. He won't tell me. People think he is a jackass, but he is actually the best friend you can find. True unsolved mystery! I have to investigate it myself. Hard to do it! Every time I get close, my man bottles up

Infidelity, for sure! Once a cheater, always a cheater!

Why am I still drawn to him? He is nothing but a selfish and unsupportive man.
Serena's Status: Update

My home is being closed. Just pest control!

Got trapped inside just now and realize

I am my own invader and a bug stuck in the carpet,

and policeman,

sweating to find

all meanings in each thing alive...

Until some words you've said...

just crawl into my heart

So hard to cleanse...

It's Ishtar's rage that covers all inside

And time is our marauding predator.

[years, days, moments]

I deter you from coming back right now!

Notes

This is the last story, I promise! Telling stories is such a bore!

I'll make it shorter for you, this time.

After she broke up with Tammuz, the goddess Ishtar fell in love with Gilgamesh, a Sumerian hero, her kin, two-thirds god and one-third human. She spotted him when he returned victorious to the city of Uruk, after killing a horrible monster. His body looked so splendid that the goddess was overcome with lust and wanted to marry him immediately. He declined her proposal saying he'd nothing to offer, since Ishtar already had everything. He also expressed his fear that she'd eventually lose interest in him.

Unfortunately, one day, he chose to insult her past, as she was to blame for Tammuz being captive to the Underworld. He didn't care to listen to her side of the story. Since all men around her had suffered horribly, Gilgamesh portrayed her as nothing but a marauding sexual predator. The goddess was furious for being rejected on the account of her sexual history, as Gilgamesh'd spent years of womanizing, himself.

I'll leave this story endless... Love = Memory.

### ***

Be aware!

1. retroactive jealousy is a serious problem in many couples, today; it's based on the fear of being abandoned, it feeds on the judgment of previous relationships.

2. being promiscuous may be related to suffering from low self-esteem and thinking that sex is the only way to get attention. However, as Gilgamesh gets famous in his social environment for his fighting skills, his attitude toward free sex changes.

3. drudging past love memories may uncover stories of emotional scars from previous sexual encounters. Gilgamesh experienced casual, meaningless love before, he had many relationships based on physical attraction only, and therefore he had lost his respect for women. On the other hand, Ishtar, who had been betrayed by Tammuz, took revenge on all the men wanting to take her to bed.

4. when something deep within is altered, one cannot simply move on. Sexual memories do not fade away easily. To pretend they do is naive. Such a common mistake! Many people believe that a new relationship, time or distance can heal an open wound. Well, take my word for it... you may find yourself bleed to death when least expected... when you drink your beer or hear his favorite song... Damn it!

5. nothing to write about!

Rehearsing Shakespeare in Love

Serena — listening to Beethoven, Symphony No. 6, Pastoral, 4th movement: Gewitter, Sturm (Thunder. Storm)

Act II (between "my cat...in the photos"...and "you are a monster")

Scene 1

Thunders and lightings

Cafe Amsterdam, Hermannstadt

Enter Lady Serena and Lord Vulcan; they sit at a small wooden table, between them, there is only the faint light of a scented candle.

Enter servants with dishes and bottles all over the stage.

Lord Vulcan (with a calm voice)

You should have found out this... hereafter.

There would have been a time for such a truth,

This story creeps into my heart from day to day,

Like an uneasy snail, packed with sadness.

Ah! My youthful beauty made him look at me

With lovers lust and foolish fast heartbeats,

Yes, I too, felt... alive as I was kissed...

Until his lips became the porter of uneasy dreams

and found myself transgress the bounds of love.

Serene, my pure, holy chant above all storms,

I flee to Hermannstadt to find my peace

And found you, here, to inspect my heart

Believe me! Lovers' past is just another story

to be told by honest idiots,

signifying... nothing... mere words.

Lady Serena (to the Stage Director) Now, it's my turn... Make all settings disappear and that Shakespearian player get quiet! Let me alone on the stage! Close all lights, except the one on me!

Ok. Great! Now, change the music... jazz... No!... better play In the shadow of your love by Rahul Kedare...

(to the public) He is my Facebook friend, a talented composer... (with conviction) You know, apparently, in India, a solo is not easily digested..., they arrange instruments as they arrange marriages. Hmm! A cultural difference, as he (pointing at Lord Vulcan) calls it...

(to the Stage Director, as the song finally starts): This is it!... Not so loud! Thank you!

(turning to the stage corner, where Lord Vulcan is now covered in darkness): My therapist said it's better to write, so, my dear friend, let me read you something!

(gets a phone out of her pocket and starts reading from the screen) It was a beautiful sunny day. We went to Opera Benefit Concert. I was happy, K. (pointing at Lord Vulcan) was sitting next to me. However, then (her voice starts trembling but she refrains from crying)... I noticed the position of his body. He had a feminine close position (sits down to imitate it)... like the one of my gay piano teacher.

(stops in order to listen)... Yes, a great teacher! (confused) What've I just said? (self-absorbed) Ja, he would have loved this amazing song! He used to drive me crazy with his Tchaikovsky (to the public, feeling she has to explain more) a great homosexual (embarrassed) Russian composer, orthodox, by the way.

(calm) Now, why on earth should I have noticed that? It made me ponder... I took K. to the coffee bar that evening to make him confess.

(suddenly drops the phone on the floor, lowers her head and then looks to the other corner, as if Lord Vulcan, covered in darkness, moved there... gazes at him and then, whispers) I was still in love with you, afterwards, you know...

(loud) No way! (a cat comes to her and stars biting playfully, she kneels to hug her) Madame La Fleur, you are back! You are alive!

(apart) My manly heart smelled you!

(loud) Why did drink that, you fool? Why? I'm so sorry! I've missed you so much! (The cat head-butts her, as she looks at her with affection)

(a bottle of champagne rolls over in her direction, making the cat run away; music stops, she rises up in shock, angry): Stupid! You scared her... (mad) Monster! Stop doing that! You had more that 5 glasses, already!

(to the Stage Director, shouting)... Where did my cat go? Turn the lights on!

(nothing happens)

(serious, looking around) Why aren't you doing what I've asked? Where are you, anyway?

(terrified) So, you've left, too... sign a contract with a different company?

(angry) What kind of a responsible Stage Director are you?

(apart) I feel lonely, here!

(loud) Enough playing this..."Lights, lights, get us some lights!"

(nothing happens)

(trustful) Let's play the next day! We are not over yet!

(nothing happens)

(looking at the public, as if searching for someone there, calm) Ok. Have it your way! I'll call you right now and make you cry on the phone. Then, you'll allow your feelings to flow easily and say: "I made a huge mistake, Serena! You're an amazing performer! I love you! ", Only that!

(bossy) I do not care who is writing this play. Feel free to improvise! Please, make me play this moment again, this time, full hearted!

(relaxed and trustful) Only you can turn this play into a hit!

(she raises her hands like a diva to give credit to the Stage Director, probably sitting in the first row; the stage becomes gradually full of light; she turns and sees Lord Vulcan behind her. He has a short hair, no longer blonde, he is wearing a nice straw hat and a tan suit. He greets her with an innocent, childish smile)

(music, applauses) It's a new dawn! It's a new day! It's a new life...

Cafe Amsterdam, Hermannstadt.

No one exits.

The Explorer

Erotic Love = I feel only (sexual) desire

I once heard a great priest talk. I do not remember his name. I have no idea how he looked like.

I remember him saying:

"Do not fear sex, it comes as natural as eating and drinking. [...]

I know, there is too much talk about positions and sizes these days, and this can frighten anyone. [...]

Simply, love! (W)holly, love! [...]

Do not reduce your body to a lock searching for a perfect key to match! [...]

Do not follow others and get junk! You deserve better! [...]

Do not ask for my blessings only to procreate! You deserve better! [...]

If your soul is unlocked, no F(lesh) Key will ever be good enough for you! [...]

He said it only once, but I remembered.

He kept repeating other religious staff for days, but I forgot most of them.

Those were the only words I could hear!
Serena's Collection of Aphonic memories (2011-2015)

Serena Maier to Kai Vulcan

Hello!

I am sending you the program for the next week. Your feedback will be most helpful, as I have told you, I have never organized a Jazz Festival before.

I hope you will enjoy your staying in Hermannstadt!

Best wishes,

Serena Maier

Cultural event manager

Kai Vulcan to Serena Maier

Hallo!

Warum wollen Sie nicht Deutsch mit mir zu sprechen? Ich bin kein Fremder zu Ihnen.

See translation

Why do you not want to speak German with me? I am not a foreigner to you.

K.

Serena Maier to Kai Vulcan

Hallo, Kai!

My chief is American and does not speak German or Romanian. She wants to be sure she can read all e-mails from clients. Hope you do not mind writing back in English. Please! Besides, having the same ethnic roots does not mean we speak the same language.

Best regards,

Serena Maier

Cultural event manager

Kai Vulcan to Serena Maier

Shade! Ich mag meine Leute.

See translation

What a pity! I like my people...

Ok. I read the program. May I suggest sending us a list of nice places to eat? You are doing a great job! Thank you!

Hugs!

K.

P.S. I will talk to Kala and Romina, they will not to be late next time we meet. I saw this made you feel quite uncomfortable. Showing them the watch was not polite, they are Indians. There are some cultural differences between us, try to understand that. Think of them as musicians, only that!

You are German. Denke, man kann nicht leugnen, wer du bist.

See translation

Guess you cannot deny who you are.

Serena Maier to Kai Vulcan

This is the list for you. Good point! Thank you!

Serena Maier

Cultural event manager

Kai Vulcan to Serena Maier

It is perfect. I, Kala, Romina, Mackenzie and the French gay went to Cafe Amsterdam last evening. Do you know the place? So quiet! Loved it! Perhaps you can join us tomorrow evening.

Hugs,

K.

Serena Maier to Kai Vulcan

Hallo, Kai,

Thank you for the invitation, my job does not allow me to socialize with clients. Hope you can understand that. Es tut mir leid!

See translation

I am sorry

Hugs,

Serena

Kai Vulcan to Serena Maier

Ich verstehe. Treffen Sie im Büro, dann.

See translation

I see. Meet you at the office, then.

K.

Kai Vulcan to Serena Maier

Hallo!

I talked to our hotel manager but I could not fix the problem. She wants us to pay for everything. A police officer comes tomorrow at 12.30. Could you please help us? We need to talk alone, there is a problem of Ehekrach, how do you call it in English...get violent in a couple? Kala and Romina, again, I am afraid! Please come, there's a cafe near the hotel.

Muss ich Ihren Manager für persmission fragen? Dein Vater?

See translation

Shall I ask your manager for permission? Your father?

Thank you for everything,

K.

### ***

Kai Vulcan to A. D. at ArtEventin

We would like to express our gratitude to our cultural manager, Serena Maier, for solving the conflict with our hotel manager. Her solution was the right one for all those involved. We appreciate her ability to organize the festival, also

Respectfully,

Kai Vulcan, Romina Parsh, Kala Parsh, Jan Mkenzie, Michelle Glemton

(connected to Messanger)

Kai: Hi! I wrote you an official thanking e-mail. Hope your chief reads that too and gives you a bonus or something. You deserve it! Your solution made everyone happy. Thanks!

Serena: Yeeeei! Happy you think this way.:-) I like playing Harvey from "Suits"! No promotion soon. A.D. is furious I was on your side. Now, she tries to make me quit Jazz.

Kai: What?

Serena: Ja, she thinks I'm getting too emotionally involved in this. Well, I'm not the giving you up. It's fine! She gets moody, she'll forget all about it in a week.

Kai: Super!

Serena: There is only one problem left. The office will no longer help me organize the trip. This weekend!

Kai: Do we really need this?

Serena: Yes, we do. There are nice things to see outside the city. I must organize everything alone in two days.

Kai: Ok. If you think so. Are you sure? No one will complain, I'll talk to the rest. How can I help you? I've organized trips in Germany.

Serena: Thanks. I need to see you later. Let's try that Cafe Amsterdam, this time. See you on the Bridge of Lies, near the Evangelical Church, at 6.00! Hope you remember where it is.

### ***

Kai: Hallo! Everything goes as planned. We've bought water and food. We don't have high expectation, just go outside the city, visit something, and have a good time. Kala will bring the guitar and we'll improvise, laugh a lot. Ok?

Serena: The idea is fantastic, but I've already convinced the driver, you know, with some money talk. We'll do that some other time.

Serena: Es tut mir leid. Ich hoffe, Sie haben nicht verärgern.

See translation

I am sorry. I hope you are not upset.

Serena: I want to show you the real Dracula castle, not the one they sell for tourists. You'll love it! It is an amazing citadel in Poenari, all in ruins, high in the mountains, wilderness all around! Hope you are in shape and ready for a long walk, we have to climb 1480 steps to get there! The view is breathtaking!

Kai: Ich bin sicher, es ist. Aber so viele Schritte!

see translation

I am sure it is. But there are so many steps!

I'm not fit for climbing. I'm sure I can't keep up with the rest and you'll have to leave me behind, eventually. I think I'll wait for you at the bus.

Serena: I am sorry to hear this. I'll just drop the whole thing, then. Call the driver and tell him the plan's changed.

Kai: No! It won't be fair to the rest! Go, have fun! I'll be fine! I won't get lost... I promise.:-) I'll stay near the bus and wait for you.

Kai: Besides, I've told you, Kala brings the guitar. I'll practice. I'm writing a song right now and it sounds fine so far. I've called it "A coffee bar we call our home". Hope I'll play it for you one day, in Germany. It is about me, finding redemption. It won't be a hit, but it speaks a lot to me.

### ***

Kai Vulcan to Serena Maier

Alle meine besten Wünsche: Freude, Gesundheit und Erfolg in Ihrer Karriere. Da die Zeit schnell in diesem Leben fliegt, wünsche ich Ihnen es mit vielen Momenten der wahre Glück und die wahre Liebe für sich selbst zu verlangsamen.

Frohe Ostern, Serena!

See translation

All my best wishes: joy, health and success in your career. Since time flies quickly in this life, I wish you slowed it down for yourself with many moments of real happiness and true love.

Happy Easter, Serena!

Kai Vulcan,

Jazz piano player and composer
Serena's status: Once upon a time in Berlin, the Jazzist played Me

Humble skies of blue eyes shut,

pouring down like rain

falling in drops,

from my chin to my groins.

My thoughts are melting on my skin

like some deep wrinkles,

too many beers or too many coffees around

and I have still not lost my thirst...

I am still at the same table, waiting for you.

What a pity we shall never meet again,

Into this dingy coffee bar we call our home

To chat about my hopeless soul,

and drench my face with heaven, like Danae
_Danae_ by Gustav Klimt, 1907

(oil on canvas, 77x83 cm)

\- excerpt from "Love Mythology", art exhibition booklet

Gustav Klimt (1862-1918) is one of the greatest Austrian symbolist painters, famous for his highly decorative erotic art. His eclectic and golden adorned style is also prominent in his painting of "Danae" (1907), an unconventional portrait, using his favorite technique, oil on canvas.

The work depicts the story of the Greek mythological princess imprisoned into a metal chamber by her father. According to the legend, Zeus, the supreme god, manages to pass by the bronze wall and visit her in the form golden raindrops that fall over her womb, conceiving a child.

This divine, transcended love is mixed with eroticism, as the painting combines a realistic depiction of an aroused woman's face with symbolic elements, the most prominent of which is the veil, uncovering her body, in a spiral form. This is not an isolated case, as Klimt's paintings have been critically acclaimed for their geometry used for hidden purposes. The sexual intercourse is not obvious to the eye, with the rectangular shape of the golden rain evoking masculinity, barely inserted into, not fully penetrating the circular form of the body which evokes the feminine.

However, the viewer may feel entranced by Danae's submissive attitude, antithetical to the dynamic flow of the divine male figure, depicted only as a golden fertilizing shower. Much like woman from the "Kiss", the masterpiece of the painter's "Golden period", she has her eyes closed, as she is self absorbed in this fetal circle position, isolated from the rest of the world. She is imprisoned by a piece of cloth in the color of royal purple, indicator of her aristocratic lineage, the only realistic element linking her to the myth.

Although Danae may be considered the Greek virgin mother-to-be, she assumes her sexuality as a form of challenging social and parental endorsement, as for the artist, tingling viewer perception of moral consequences of sexual behavior is the main part of his seductive power.
Serena's status: this spring, Mikael Liebfried exposed himself,

sharing the album "Delicate Predator" on my Timeline

Baffled,

I look at Love, my "delicate predator",

plundering my city again,

Voluptuously playing the bells of my funeral,

with caustic dissonance, haft steps, not the tones

I got accustomed too.

Your rhythm has changed my poetry completely.

I saw your cheating looks petting all over...

I caught your kissing with lust my neck down,

And breathe your soft hair piercing each others.

Ah! A pride's chip! So much weight! Worry preys on my soul,

or should I have written: "cheap", "so much wait!", "worry", "pray!", "Oh! My sole!"?

Wow! I can make so many spelling mistakes, if I want to,

but you knew that already, didn't you, "love"?

How many stupid errors have you counted so far?

Your visual depiction of Love is correct no doubt,

Since there are so many incredible flowers/flours to shoot/snort

on the market, these days!

Oh! No more white roses for me, now, I see...

Orchids you've sent me... aha! at least, do you know what they mean?

The Greeks called these flowers "orchids", "testicles", that is...

They symbolizes virility, das Glied, alle Glieder von sich strecken

Don't pretend you don't understand my German...

How many years have you studied it in school? More than five?

So, you lost the heritage completely, but not your tongue,

Really! You can still taste my words and lick...Oh! Yeah!

And I can go on and on with this intellectual high talk,

making you feel damn embarrassed.

To be honest, I've deleted all your pictures

Tarquinus, you signed them, but I don't even remember your name.

It was Lieb...something.

Never mind!
Rape of Lucretia by Rubens,

(oil on canvas)

(draft)

" **Love Mythology", art exhibition booklet**

Rubens painting "The Rape of Lucretia" (1612) presents an intimate and violent scene. Lucretia was married to Collantinus, a Roman army commander, the nephew of the King of Rome. During a military expedition, Collantinus proved his wife's virtue among his comrades, as he unexpectedly returned home with them, finding Lucretia in her chambers. One of the men in that group was Tarquinius, the son of the Roman king, who became fascinating with Lucretia's moral superiority. While her husband was away, Tarquinus came back and forced himself upon her, threatening to kill her and a slave and tell her husband that he caught them in the act of adultery.

In this scene, Rubens manages to suggest the dramatic conflict between lust and virtue. The dark shadows behind Tarquinus' body hide the malicious face of the mythological Fury. She encourages the rapist, as he aggressively puts his hands between his victim legs.

Hopeless, Lucretia tries to protect herself against this forced sexual attack, her hands and knees are in a defensive close position. Unfortunately, she has no escape, she is the victim of an ego competition among men, since her husband's pride made Tarquinus feel envious. Above her, a small Cupid is holding a torch, lighting the whole scene.

Critics believe that by placing Tarquinus in the middle, the painter suggests he is being trapped between sexual surrender (Cupid) and sexual violence (Fury). However, this interpretation is not accurate.

On the one hand, mythological Furies are famous for following perpetuators and victims in order to punish and torment them, and Tarquinus and Lucretia will eventually lose their life after this aggression.

On the other hand, Cupid is the one responsible for the encounter, as he made Tarquinus lust for her.

Therefore, in my view, the would-be rapist finds himself trapped in a "moment" in time, facing the cause (Cupid), but ignoring the effect (Fury) of his action.
Serena's status: Hermannstadt - New York,

4634 miles, 7 hours difference - for the rest

inside my mind, this moment - only me

Pathétique!

Au début j'étais comme un parfum,

Le baiser du dragon, Samsara,

Or any other scent flaming your body

Aroused, in public display.

.................................................

Common smell of pagan fantasy,

benzoin, patchouli, gardenia,

Mix the sweat of your immoral lips,

Sniffing the air around,

my clothes, my skin, my doubts, grumbling in my belly...

such an irony, too many words already, no more feelings.

.....................................................

Now, like a pillar I hold up this love

Above the fetor of my canny breath,

Above the tang and trails of my wanderings,

As I have been in fumes since you have left.

_Cupid and Psyche_ by Giuseppe Maria Crespi, 1709

(oil on canvas, 130x215 cm)

(draft)

" **Love Mythology", art exhibition booklet**

"Cupid and Psyche" is a Baroque mythological painting, created by Giuseppe Maria Crespi in 1709. It illustrates the mythical tale concerning the revelation of Love's true nature, combining the traditional realistic style of representing human naked bodies with an extraordinary technical mastery of spacial illusion.

Cupid, the god of Love, marries Psyche, a very beautiful maiden, making only one request at their wedding that she should never look at his real face. As times goes by, Psyche falls in love with her invisible husband, but their happiness is ruined as she grows afraid her she might have married a monster.

Crespi's painting depicts this dramatic moment when, Psyche, in search of certainty, enlightens the face of her sleeping lover with an oil lamp in her hand, but her light only wakes him up in fear.

For the viewer, the lamp is the key element that makes the scene visible, as it reveals with different intensity the major elements of the setting: an orange curtain, (symbol of mystery being disclosed) and the couple (reduced to the essential parts of their naked bodies: the breast of Psyche, the leg, hip, wings and hands of Cupid). The two faces are only half-lit, as if the mystery should not be totally uncovered. However, it is obvious that the startled Cupid, desperately trying to protect his identity does not have the physiognomy of a beast. Actually, it is the fear of his moral ugliness (hidden in invisibility) that makes Psyche take action, because she cannot fully understand or obey him.

Since "psyche" is the Greek name for the human soul, the whole scene is a metaphor. Our innate emotional needs (for security and control) are questioning our blind trust and sexual attraction to another human being, the same way as Psyche is questioning the identity of her Cupid.

Like in the case of Psyche, self preservation can definitely ensure the survival of our muscular organ, the one that that pumps the blood in our body. However, only sacrificing self preservation to love commitment can determine the survival of our heart, the center of all our human emotions.

## Charmer

Pragmatic Love = I have an interest

I often talk to people I meet about values, things they believe in. Usually, they say: "honesty, generosity, love."

However, some of them cheat easily (usually, when being left alone, in another city) and turn out to be quite greedy (doing something only for a specific amount of money). I find their values to be so damn superficial.

As far as love is concerned, people usually have more or less the same lyrics (sung differently!), same expectations from their partner: to give them (great) sex, to have money and to allow them absolute freedom. Selfish expectations, if you ask me, but we are humans, after all.

At first, every would-be lover struggles to find a nice, moral chorus meant to convince the other of the main idea of his courting song [of course, related to the theme of "everlasting love"]. For instance, if someone sings to me popular lines like: "I love you, Serena, because of your looks/ intelligence/ kindness...," then, I know he may change the volume of his feelings gradually down to: Indifference or up to: Casual. Let's get real! I can't look great and display my qualities every day. [I am a sensitive shrew, actually.]

This is your pop music, something you listened to so many times, you start to believe in.

She, finding out he has an affair, slaps him; he refrains from hitting her back.

She (all in tears): "You are a jerk!"

He (seeing red): "Go to hell, bitch!"

She (sobbing): "Oh, oh, I'm so hurt! Oh, stupid in love! Look, I have a tear in my eye, you idiot!"

(spiteful): "I'll take a selfie: Me and Tears! Everyone will see the jerk you are!"

(after upload)

He (comments on this): "LOL, bitch, cry me a river!"

She (full of regret): "Come on baby, one more time... Hit me baby, one more time."

He (sends her a smiling face): "I want you back! I'm trying to figure out just what to do next... Wanna have make up sex?"

She (excited): "Loosen up my buttons baby, uh, huh!"

[Serena feat. New Boys, Rihanna, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, 'N Sync and The Pussycat Dolls]

No! Loosen up your mind, "love"!

Do you remember? I've told you, once: "I have no idea why I like you, I don't care how good you are in bed, how much money you earn or how social you are. You are such a surprise to me!" Well, there is a good chance my love for you is real.

Unlike you, I don't listen to pop so much, it has superficial verses and not even the bridge lyrics are able to deepen the emotional impact. [I don't think you are familiar with this musical "bridge", it is a structure used to break up the repetitive pattern of the song and keep the listeners attention.... Like I hope I'm doing right now, keeping you inside my bridge, made of brackets.]

I love my classical music! Its volume is also adjustable, but always incredibly up... up to: Passion or even upper to: Insanity [Warning! At this level, ears start to hurt pretty badly and medical assistance is required.]

Even if you try to turn my "music" down, it never reaches Indifference, because the person on stage, the character, starts dying and his lament makes the libretto hard to listen to, more than once.

He (finds out she is about to marry someone else): "Who can restrain my anger in such a moment? Like a wilting rose she stands between life and death. I am overcome, I am moved... I love you, ungrateful woman, I still love you! You have betrayed both Heaven and Love. May God destroy you!" (looks for an exit, reflecting on his life): Forever, my dream of love has vanished! That moment has fled, and I die in desperation. Never before, have I loved LIFE so much!

[Serena feat. Gaetano Donizetti and Giacomo Puccini]

How can I make you understand this? The opposite of "love" is not "less love" and "civil friendship", but "pure hate"!
Serena's Profile

I work for ArtEventin, an agency that organizes cultural events in Hermannstadt (Sibiu), a city in Transylvania, which has one of the largest German ethnic groups in Romania.

My city was the European Capital of Culture in 2007. Since then, it has become an important cultural center.

If you like to visit Hermannstadt, you should start with the Brukenthal Museum, it has an impressive Art Gallery and a great collection of Old Books. There you may find many interesting stories about the city and its history.

If you are in love, I recommend you and your partner walk on the Bridge of Lies. It is said to have ears and start moaning from time to time. To be more accurate, what you may hear are the sad whispers of some unfaithful women that died on that spot, in medieval times.

According to the legend, young German men used to take maidens there to swear them everlasting love. After the wedding night, if one found out his bride was not a virgin, he could drag her back and throw her off the bridge. I wish I could tell you this is just another Dracula story, but things like that happened in the past. I'm sure you you've read the news about these horrifying crimes taking place, nowadays, in India and Pakistan, also.

If you are religious, you may also enjoy taking a walk in the old city center to visit the Roman-Catholic, Orthodox and Evangelic Churches, all three built on the same long street. As I see it, they are the major bricks of the same Christian Church, the three fingers of the hand of God on Earth. I must confess, I support, with all my heart, all ecumenical efforts to reunite Christians, around the world. Working as a cultural event manager gives me an opportunity to promote my religious ideals, also.

For the past five years, I have been involved in organizing many different events I am proud of:

Jazz Festival,

Shakespeare Theatre Festival,

Opera Benefit Concert,

Woman of Our Century, Photography Exhibition and so on.

In my free time, I enjoy writing. I've always dreamed of becoming a writer, a critically acclaimed one. I doubt I have what it takes, courage included!

It all started back in high school, when I won a national poetry contest that gave me wings. I studied literature and hoped to become a French literature teacher. Financial crisis changed everything for me and I had to take a job at an Educational Center in Bucharest. At that time, I had many ups and downs, more downs than ups with my writings. I even hated myself for having artistic craves, but I've managed to come to terms with myself. At the moment, I don't take myself seriously as a writer. I just write when I'm upset. However, I consider myself very lucky to have found a great job, in a truly amazing city, meet true Artists and help them become popular.

I invite you to visit me! You will be excited by Hermannstadt's amazing attractions!

Liles: 123 likes, 1 comment

Judy: What kind of poetry do you write? I love Romantic literature.
MyTimeline

What' on your mind?

Serena is looking for inspiration

This September, I hope to organize a sacred music concert with Veslav Sobieski (tagged). I heard his choral piece, Rauda (Lament), that speaks about finding God through pain and I really like it. It is so inspiring! I imagine it being played in Holy Trinity Cathedral in Latin. Why not? Is anyone else interested in my idea?

Likes: Mikael Liebfried and 49 others

Write a comment

Mikael: Hi Serena, Thanks for accepting me. Appreciate it. You have a great wall of posts and projects.

Comment

Mikael: Organize a jazz concert in your Church! Have you thought about it? Tramps will die to get there! Ha-ha, some like it hot! If you know what I mean!

Serena: No, I don't.

Mikael: No, of course, you don't. It is an old movie. Just making fun of you! I see you are dedicated to your work. Did it give any satisfaction so for? Your musical activity, I mean...

Serena: Yes.

Mikael: I see... Well, I am a bit disappointed. I'll make you enjoy working for me... much more! By the way, I can't stand jazz...This is what I like best:

Mikael is listening to \- The X Factor USA 2012 - Jeffery Gutt's audition- Hallelujah

Serena: A rock cover of a jazz song! Listen to this, too, it has more feelings.

Serena shares G.E.M Hallelujah, with lyrics on Mikael's Timeline.

Mikael: Come on! She's faking it! She starts crying and the camera moves on the crowd! Good timing for an outdoor performance! You do realize the artist has a stage director that tells him what to do and how to do it! Ok, she has a nice voice, but I stick to my version, more authentic, Simon said it

### *

Serena Maier is watching Hazard of Hearts.

I am a big fan of Edward Fox (Lord Harry Wrotham in this movie). He is my favorite blonde, blue-eyed villain. Why do women love villains? Because the hero is too busy thinking about himself! This is a joke, of course!

Likes: 54.

Mikael commented on this.

Serena deleted the comment.
My Favorites

Serena created the e-book "Love and Layers".

Untouchable

(Day 1)

Frau Pomona is my untouchable mate,

frowning a lot at me, criticize me all the time,

for dressing the noun "Fried"

with the adjective "lieb"...

for editorial purposes...why should I bother to explain?

(Day 2)

"Liebfried" is not a German word,

It is a German refugee,

Harassing with me in the street, like a freak,

"Let's throw the bricks at her windows," he yells,

As he jumps over her fence.

and politely ignores you, liebe narrow Berlin!

(...)

"Hallo, I am on my way... Ja wohl!... heavy traffic in Alexander Platz,

I see Police... near emergency shelter...

guess someone reported an assault.

Relax, I have everything you want with me."

5 likes, 2 comments.

Serena deleted all comments.

Censured

If there are no more noble things

to be discovered in this muddy world,

holding my lover in my arms means

I will fail.

But then, the story will unfold

without the outcome of some other's quest.

"Wie es so trifft...", as you would say.

No answers given.

No comments on the Truth god's loss...

Just the sour sound of others throwing stones

To break a heart and stain my fate with darkness

But getting once away with this,

And getting once accept myself,

Let them ride unicorns to search for an insect!

2 likes, 23 comments.

Serena deleted all comments.

Hopeless (edited)

Twisted hours of love

Spinning around

In my brain

Like a ring

The ghost of Fear is challenging me from behind

Hailing me to stop from running in circles

Should I listen and play the fate of a loser,

Punished eternally to bear a pointless life?

Should I use words as jugs of compassion

To carry my son and my chore to come?

.......................................................................................

Let me use your own words to reply:

"Think of the consequences, I beg you! "

Your reason for leaving just doesn't hold water.

19 likes, 3 comments.

Stefan Pop: You should write more!

Serena deleted 2 comments.

### ***

Serena Maier is looking for inspiration, studying mythology.

The god of Truth, Apollo had many love stories. An interesting one is his crush on Hyacinth, a beautiful youth man also loved by Zephyr, the god of the West Wind. One day, Apollo and Hyacinth competed against each other in throwing the discus, a heavy large disk used in athletic competitions.

Jealous, Zephyr blew Apollo's discus off the course and killed Hyacinth. Full of grief, Apollo made a flower from his blood, an iris. Well, haven't I told this story before? He was passionately in loved with a girl (Daphe) and managed to ruin her life, also.

So, this Apollo loves everyone! Not my problem! We are not related!

Why do people with high moral standards get to be so judgmental about it?

Why search for the bug in another soul [Programmer's joke! I should have written "insect"!], if you have already found and master your own unicorn? [Another Programmer's joke! Sorry! Can't help it! Unicorn is a programming language designed by an American] Have you found It? Are you the master of Purity? [ No joke, here! This is a serious question] Aha! Are you absolutely sure it is not your frustration speaking beneath your pious voice?

I mean, since, an unicorn has magical powers (a fairytale creature, bla-bla-bla), the result is:

procedure main ()

w : = open (''test UNICORN window'', ''g'')

write ( w ''Have no right to judge love'')

write ( w ''Any Key will close this window'')

read (w)

close (w)

end!

### *

The god of Season, Vertumnus fell in love with Pomona, the goddess of Fruit. She was a very stubborn maiden, she wanted to remain a virgin all her life, so she had refused all men and all gods that tried to court her before him. Determined to win her, Vertumnus disguised himself as an old woman. Then, he started preaching her about a (hypothetical) young man that was about to commit suicide for being spurned. Having this woman disguise, Vertumnus managed to kiss her, but Pomona did not change her mind about men, no matter how great his story was. She was still determined about it, she wouldn't make love to any.

In the end, desperate Vertumnus showed himself naked in front of her, declaring his feelings, telling her the truth. Surprisingly, Pomona fell for him (Ha?! So! She was not a lesbian! Shame on you to think that far!) and they became a couple.(Yee!)

Of course, showing confidence in yourself always pays off.

You know, in a way, writing about yourself is like taking your cloths off in public, while denuding the reader, at the same time.

For what comes next, between Pomona (the Reader) and Vertumnus (the Author), you should be 18 and up. Use your imagination! Ok. I know you're getting some naughty images in your mind right now (Uh! Aaaah! Uh!).

This is all you can! I know you can do better! Spice it a little bit! Shall I use some more brackets?

### *

Wow! I am exhausted... You made me feel tired...It was great being with you, but my time is up. It's getting late! I should get going and you should go to sleep. Here is your story, love! Your very last!

Hypermnestra was the daughter of King Danaus. He did not want his girls to get married to the sons of his rival, from another kingdom (xenophobic thinking, I know!), so he instructed them to kill their husbands on their wedding day. [You may wonder how they even got to that wedding day, but I'm a bit in a hurry to explain that.]

So, they all followed his command, all except Hypermnestra. She refused to obey because her man, Lynceus had some honor. Danaus tried to punish his disobedient daughter, but her husband rescued her and revenged his family by killing him. They then got together had a son.

Have a glorious life!
Serena's Collection, New aphonic memories

Serena Maier to Kai Vulcan

A Happy New Year! Hope all your dreams come true!

Serena

Kai Vulcan to Serena Maier

Hello! With me everything is fine. I've signed with a record company for our song. Therefore, the coming year will be very exciting, I'll start touring Germany. I still do not really know when and where. What are you doing right now? Are you still working as an event manager?

K.

Serena Maier to Kai Vulcan

Hallo! It is great news, a very important achievement for your career; hope you become famous one day. Yes, I am still working at the same office.

Serena

Kai Vulcan to Serena Maier

If I remember correctly tomorrow is the big day! I wish you all the best for all the years to come. And for tomorrow, I hope the sun will shine on you!

Big hug,

P.S.: And then I want know who the happy guy is!

K.

Serena Maier to Kai Vulcan

Thank you for the greetings! It was a nice surprise!

Yes, I am happily married and got back from the honeymoon to the mountains... It was very nice, as I wished... My husband is a photographer. Don't let the name fool you, he's not German.

I hope you are fine and doing great. All my best wishes for you, dear friend!

Look forward to hearing from you!

Serena

Kai Vulcan to Serena Liefbried

Dear Serena!

I must admit for a moment I was a bit startled by the second name. But then it dawned upon me...

Hugs,

K.

Kai Vulcan to Serena Liefbried

Dear Serena!

I am having a concert in Italy, next month. Hope you are doing great!

K.

Serena Liebried to Kai Vulcan

Hallo! It's great news, a very important achievement for your career. I hope you become famous one day! Yes, I have a son now and I'm very happy, I have always wanted kids.

Well, whatever you want to do in your life, do not neglect having a family and children. No professional achievement can measure this. At the end of all careers, no matter how great, there is only one thing waiting for us: an empty grave. I am telling you this as a friend, because I want you to be very happy.

Look forward to hearing from you,

Best regards from Hermannstadt,

Serena

Kai Vulcan to Serena Liebfried

Hi, Serena thanks for your message. I hope you spent a lovely holiday with your family. I had been last week in Berlin with my niece.

I'll start my European tour in May. Then, back to Rome. The longer I'm staying there, the more I get to like it. Still, I guess by the end of the year, I'll head for a new destination. Not sure yet what and where.

How are you these days? From the things you post, I get the impression you have many projects in mind! Good for you!

For the moment, I am sending some warm greetings!

Hugs,

K.

Serena Liebfried to Kai Vulcan

Hi! I spent holiday at home, with family, playing with my son, which was fun. I saw your niece in a picture, she is sweet! I am doing great, I am a writer now! Yes, I got the courage to come out!

I wish you the best of luck in finding the right destination. I know you can adapt to your public anywhere. Even more, you can always go back to places you like; you will always have a true friend here Hermannstadt, one who wants you to be happy and smiling.

Warm greetings too,

Serena

## The Healer

Affectionate love = I feel compassion

What makes a great Artist? Is it dexterity, innovation, studying for years with the best in his field? I am no expert; I do not know the answer to this. But I have been to so many events... and I have come to the conclusion that it is the ability to talk to the audience that makes a huge difference. Unfortunately, some skilful performers are still afraid to introduce themselves and come in front of the public with that grim, serious face... some outstanding players are only interested in their critics' opinion, being afraid of making mistakes.

Moreover, occasionally, I have the impression that the Artist does not enjoy the evening with me. He is there, on that stage, because I've forced him to... with a signed paper, a contract. I have sent you one, from the beginning, remember? You haven't replied... This makes me sad.

However, the saddest thing of all is looking at a white rose on the wall, shot using a neutral density filter, or listening to something like a jazz hit, played with an empty heart.

What if my heart is the one that it's empty? Am I ready to move it in someone else's?

**Serena's Collection of Our Memories**

Serena Maier to Mikael Liebried

Dear Mr. Liebfried,

I am sending you the program for next month. I advice you not to include the photos of the drugged girls on the roof in your presentation, as some may find it offensive and out of place. I do not question the quality of those photos, but you've taken shock to the extreme.

The purpose of the exhibition is to portray contemporary women.

Thank you!

Best regards,

Serena Maier,

Cultural event manager

Mikael Liebried to Serena Maier

Dear Event Organizer

I've no idea how to thank you for your mail, specially since there is no program attached. I will return, after 27th of March and contact you. As an artist, I take the liberty of being offensive to some. I advise you to stick to your job description. The exhibition is about contemporary real women. If you can't face reality, you have a problem, not me.

Mikael Liebried to Serena Maier

My Dear Event Organizer,

Have a glorious day!

I send you the link to my photo exhibitions. You can include this in your exhibition booklet. Remember, I am coming back on 27th of March.

Mikael Liebried to Serena Maier

Ms. serena,

I thought it's your responsibility to make sure my photos are transported safely and in time. I could have told you about the traffic jam in Alexander Platz. I've also told you, clearly enough, I don't want to have free photo albums at my exhibition. It's a complete waste of money. People may speak highly of you, but you're a disappointment to me, so far.

Serena Maier to Mikael Liebfried

Dear Mr. Liebfried,

Respectfully, my name is Serena, capital letter. I am glad you finally decided to use it.

I have been in business for quite a while to earn some respect. The reviews are good, critics like you. It is a custom to offer them free albums at this level. Do not worry about the money, it was my idea, I will paid for it. To avoid future disappointment, let me do my job! I am the best you can find here. Your only responsibility is that of being a talented photographer.

Best regards,

Serena Maier,

Cultural event manager

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Dear Ms. Serena, capital letter

Please excuse my innocent mistake; I'm usually very careful when I write.

On second thought, it is definitely your doing.:-)I've got distracted by your small dress, the other day... Doesn't your firm have a dress code? God forbid! I don't complain! This makes all males around you happy! An uplifting business strategy, no doubt! I've just visited your office and left an envelope for you at the secretary. Hope it doesn't get lost! I'd rather starve than being paid by a woman like you.

Thank you for all your efforts!

Mikael Liebfried, photographer

A.D. to Mikael Liebfried

Dear Mr. Liebfried,

I am writing to inform you that I have personally investigated the situation. My firm has a dress code that applies to everyone. I have spoken to Ms. Maier and found out that the length of her office dress and also the slit at the back of her skirt are in accordance to our dress code. Unfortunately, my firm does not have an atitudinal code for clients to measure their perception.

Best regards,

A.D.

Chief Executive Officer

[I hope you understand why I chose these initials for my chief and did not reveal her name. I am not that brave! I have to go to work tomorrow morning, too! I need this job to support myself, like everyone else. I honestly don't think my chief would like to have her name associated to what I am writing right now.]

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Dear Serena,

I'm glad you loved the white rose I've sent you. I shot it for an e-book cover, yesterday. I'm not going to show you the picture. I wouldn't like to draw you into another artistic quarrel. But if you are curious, and ask me to give it to you... what can a man do about it?

I'm very sorry I brought the matter up. I should not have told you about that dress code! Look, I'm not kidding. I've heard some horny men around you making jokes. I can't reproduce them without blushing. This makes me feel very concerned for your safety and reputation. Hope you understand that. I've got some broken ribs, so I can't possibly defend you honor. Dear Chief Executive Officer, I hope you're reading this message, too, and take all necessary measures to prevent serious things from happening into your firm. I recommend you arrest all men around Ms. Maier, start with Roy, Stefan, Derek, even Nick, you can't trust anyone! Please, you must put them in cuffs immediately and measure their pants, as a precautionary measure! Since you don't seem to have any sense of humor at all, let me inform you that I find it immoral to read your employee's mails and will take legal action against your firm, if your intrusive attitude disturbs my privacy. I'm your client, but I follow my own code. Let me also point out that you misspelled the word "attitudinal" in your mail to me, therefore, I have no clue what you were talking about. For a native speaker, this mistake is inexcusable. We all look up to you for your knowledge! Let's cut to the chase, chief, we both want something. You want to make profit out of my artistic genius, I need Ms. Maier to do it. So, the fair solution for both of us is not to stand in each other's way.

As I have told you earlier, I am deeply concern about how things are proceeding.

Have a glorious day, Serena!

Take care,

Mikael Liebfried, photographer
Serena added three poems to her e-book "Love and Layers"

Touching career

The valuable money industry:

days and nights spent hunting competitors;

huge display of pride inspiring people to believe,

rigid hours working at the office,

and the royal journey of the sun in the sky

shadowing my desk.

No time for relations, just enough time to play some polite calls...

Let's see what's on our agenda: accession to the throne of solitude,

decorative melodrama for family gossip,

a golden coffin for a rich Afterlife, perhaps,

Soupcon of malice in some daily soup...

all paid with the beatings of my heart

getting too old to be happy.

Comments

Mikael: Wow? I didn't know you could write... so, you do more that organize events for me.

Serena: Thanks!

Mikael: To be honest, I don't like this. What is this all about?

Serena: It is about workaholic people that do not have time for themselves

Mikael: Ok, you!

Judy Lang: Well done! I love poetry!

Serena: No!

Mikael: Of course, living in denial. Again!

Serena: It is not about me. You should never mingle poetry with real people

Stefan Pop: Serena, I am happy you keep writing!

Mikael: Aha, you are a mystery girl, a thief under my skin, but in the end it doesn't even matter...,

Serena: So, you write too...

A.D.: Are you still teasing each other? Serena, I need those reports in an hour!

Mikael: Me? LOL. Never mingle poetry with a real man!

Stefan Pop: I agree with Serena, reality and fiction are different things.

Mikael: You agree too much... I'm an ignorant. I can't write a damn thing! I used collage, Orbison, Linking Park, Carla's Dream. Check them out, Serena! Better not! You're such a decent lady! You'll get shocked by that sexy video... Never agree to erotic art, but face it, love, this gives you the bonus.

Serena: What?

Mikael: Ei, hai! Doar ne-am certat mai devreme pe posterul ală, șmecher, cu fetele goale în lanțuri. Bune, rău!

See translation:

Come on! We've fought earlier over that cunning poster, with the naked girls in chains. Really hot!

Serena: Faci ce vrei! Vei fi criticat dur și e păcat. Ai talent...

See translation:

Have it your way! Some may scorn you, unfortunately. You have talent...

A.D.: I must agree with Mikael on this one. Shock sells, sex sells, "Woman of Our Century" sold very well this year.

Mikael: Spune domnișoara care nu vrea să învețe nimic despre fotografie. Mulțumesc. Vai, ce drăguță ești! Știi, ai idei, dar fără tehnică... Domnișoara mea organizatoare de evenimente face cum zic eu. Mamă! Nu pot să cred! Ești bine? Pot să dezactivez prostia asta de traducere automată? Sorry, chief! I have to ask this.

See translation:

Says the lady who doesn't want to learn anything about photography. Thank you. You are so sweet! You know, you have ideas, but no technique...So, my Miss Event Organizer will do things my way. Wow! I can't believe it! Are you OK? How can I disable this stupid See translation thing? Sorry, chief! I have to ask this.

Serena: Ești rău! Te-am întrebat de mai multe ori. Ce să fac ca să-mi iasă pozele bune? Problema e că nu știi să explici, domnule fotograf! Vezi că e la setări, stânga sus!

See translation:

You are mean! I've asked you this several times already.How do I take better photos? The problem is you don't know how to explain it, Mr. Photographer! See in Settings, right, up!

Mikael: Femeile! Găsesc mereu scuze... Nici mie nu mi-a arătat nimeni! Ți-am spus, secretul e să te apropii de subiect, să umpli cadrul! De ce naiba ți-e frică să faci asta? Gata! Am găsit. Bye-bye, chief!

See translation:

Women! Always find an excuse... No one has ever taught me anything. I have told you the trick is to get closer to your subject, fill the whole frame. Why are you so fucking afraid to do that? Ok! I've found it. Bye-bye, chief!

[This conversation went on, but since See translation was disabled, many people will no longer understand a word. In case you happen to speak Romanian, like us, I am sorry for the inconvenient. Imagine we went on and on, talking only about photography.]
Self censured (edited)

Rivals forever in our disharmony

Leeches in pleasure...

We part the news of Self-righteousness

...humming irresolute calmness

that foams in the blood

acrid ebbs.

Too many metaphors, you did not get a thing,

just let me be straight:

It is time you stop your squeamish and seductive songs !

I am not a mysterious girl, "tearing you apart",

I am the light of the next day,

that burns all those submissive memories

and melts your skin, ensnares your tongue.

Ha! Your love is so strong that you need a proof,

I told you "I used to live alone before I knew you"

but you are too busy to believe me,

lost in the stories of your promiscuous Miss Beauty. Ha?

Do not give me that "Hallelujah" any more! Don't turn pathetic!

You have lost your faith, like Vulcan did.

But I am not the one you want to take

on that Bridge of Lies. Am I, love?

Comments

Mikael: Wow! Rivals! Submissive! What did I do this time?

Serena: Again, it's not about you.

Mikael: Why didn't you come to the studio? Your "Miss Beauty" drove me crazy! She couldn't lean forward holding her hands. How hard could that be! There was sensual pose, nothing else.

Serena: Yes, she complained.

Mikael: Damn It! I swear I'll do a man next time... Kidding! You're still too serious for a postmodern. Where is your artistic fire? Mockery?

Serena: Home. I work for crazy people like you all day.

Judy Lang: Not all people are crazy. I am not, for instance! Mikael, you are always mean to her!

Mikael: Cred că și tu ai multă nebunie artistică, iubire! Eu vreau să o descopăr! Sunt curious. Auzi, ia mai zi! Vulcan astă, e real?

See translation:

There's much artistic madness in you, too, love! I want you take it out! I am curious. Do tell, is this Vulcan real?

Serena: Nu. De ce întrebi? Este o poezie

See translation:

No. Why do you ask? It's a poem.

Serena: Ok. For all those who don't have any clue about mythology. Vulcan is the Roman god of fire and iron. He was a physically unattractive. One day he caught his wife, Venus, cheating him with the handsome god of war. Vulcan managed to ensnare them in a chain-link net and drag them out, but gods mocked him, not them. This is understandable in a way, him being lame.

Mikael: Aha... for a moment, I thought you are talking about the real Vulcan. Your chief drives me crazy boasting about him.

Serena: Really, I don't know him so well.

Serena: Have you ever been to Amsterdam Cafe? Do you know where it is? Let's go there tonight, please!

Mikael: Serena, iubire? De când scoți tu clienții în oraș?

See translation:

Serena, love? Since when are you asking your clients out?

Serena: Bine.Trebuie să cer voie șefei.

See translation:

Ok. I should I ask chief for permission.

Mikael: Ai înnebunit? Nu. Sigur nu. Nu am chef!

See translation:

Are you crazy? No! No, for sure! I don't want this.

Serena: Stai liniștit, "iubire"! Nu e o întâlnire, doar vorbim ca prietenii.

See translation:

Relax, "love"! It is not a date, more like a friendly talk.

Mikael left the conversation

### *

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Dear Ms. Maier

As a photographer, I have the privilege of working with many beautiful women, and it's my professional code that has always guided my behavior.

First of all, I don't take women I work with for friendly evening talks. If you don't believe me, ask Miss Beauty, I'm sure, she can complain only about my professional conduct.

Secondly, if I ever take you on a date (ever!), it won't be a coffee bar, but a romantic restaurant.

Thirdly, if I want to come home late these days, I have to ask permission from my daughter, she's 11 and quite jealous.

Fourthly, I apologize for teasing you! Since you don't know anything about my life, stop pretending to be my friend! Roy is all the friend I need right now and he knows I'm happy to left alone.

Finally, I've heard that women in your industry are getting mean to all men they date. Rumor has it.

Mikael Liebfried

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

My dear Serena,

I know you love opera and I have an extra ticket for David Won's concert, tomorrow night. Would you like to come? Best seats! I've heard he sings your favorite aria from Tosc. Am I right? Besides, since you'd been avoiding me these days, I didn't have the chance to show you my speech for the exhibition. Your second opinion is always welcomed. You are aware that writing speeches is not my thing... May I politely ask you not to make me wait? I hate when people do this to me.

Look forward to seeing you soon,

Mikael

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Serena,

Thanks for making it clear. Ok, the opera is "Tosca" by Puccini and the aria is E lucevan le stelle, whatever that means...

Thanks for coming,

Mikael

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Dragă Serena,

Sper că ți-a făcut plăcere această seară. A fost frumos! Ești o altă persoană în afara biroului, mult mai draguță și amuzantă. Sper că nu te-ai supărat că te-am păcălit cu Tosc. Ha-ha, ești așa ușor de citit, Serena! Știam că o să te grăbești să răspunzi, doar ca să mă corectezi pe mine. Poate într-o zi ajungem să vedem împreună Tosca. Mi-ar plăcea mult. In Paris, am văzut o montare de milioane! Da, știu. Cine ar fi crezut că am fost vreodată la operă!

Mă bucur că am ocazia să te cunosc mai bine.

Sper să nu consideri nepotrivit că îți spun, dar îți stă foarte bine șatenă, în acea rochie neagră. Îmi pare rău că nu am avut camera cu mine. Mă întrebam dacă nu ți-ar plăcea să mă lași să te fotografiez. Trebuie să te avertizez că poate să dureze câteva ore. Sunt cam dur la muncă. Crezi că ai putea face asta?

Te sun mâine dimineață.

Oh! Nu am ajuns să vorbim despre discurs. Vorbim neapărat mâine.

Cu drag,

Mikael

See translation

Dear Serena,

I hope you had a great time, this evening. It was nice! You are such a different person outside your office, much nicer and fun to be with. I hope I didn't upset you with my Tosc-trick. Ha-ha, you are quite easy to read, Serena! I knew you would answer back just to correct my mistake. Maybe one day, we'll see Tosca together. I'd love it. In Paris, I saw an amazing performance! Yes, who could have ever thought I'd been to the opera before!

I'm really glad I had a chance to know you better.

Hope it's not inappropriate for me to say that you looked great with that chestnut hair color, in that black dress. If only I had my camera with me! I've been wondering if you would like to let me photograph you. Just think about it. I must warn you, it can take several hours. I am bossy at work. Do you think are you up to it?

I'll call you tomorrow morning.

Oh! We forgot to talk about the speech. We have to talk about this tomorrow.

Best wishes,

Mikael

### ***

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Dear Serena,

I've arrived safely in Portland. The hotel is ok, I'm drinking a black tea, at the moment. How is Jo? Thanks for taking her in, hope you two get along well. Call me if you need anything, I'll leave my phone open for you!

Wow! I can't believe I'm so far away! This is the end of the world for me!

In Hermannstadt is 1 a.m. so you must be sleeping now, but I have so many things to tell you! Thanks for making me to come here! It's a different world and I'm so excited! I wish you were here, too. I need your "conservative" opinion on something, I don't know how to react. Of course, I'll do it my way, in the end. (Hope you are laughing!). Truth is... I miss our fighting over everything. It's strange how distance can change perspective over things. I'm sending you a kiss on your forehead as you sleep. I am coming back on the 3rd of February.

Yours,

Mikael

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Dear Serena,

I am sorry for answering so late. How are you? How is Jo doing? The work at the studio is incredibly tiring, some shots just don't come the way I want. Feel so damn frustrated! I took your advice, took some photos of those homeless people. I got scared at first, they are so many. Some of them have incredible life stories. For instance, this girl, Rosanne, was a programmer but lost her job, lost her house. A programmer! Do you know how much money did she make and lost! Now, she takes care of the drug addicts, help them quit. I made her several photos, she looks stunning. I'm thinking about making a project out of this and sending it to the press. What do you think? Who knows, maybe someone can do something for these poor souls.

I miss you,

Mikael

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Dear Serena,

I'm happy you are doing great, always great to hear good news. Let me give you some news of my own. I manage to find Rosanne a job, she'll no longer live on the streets. I feel like I've just earned a "golden buzz" for heaven! Kidding, of course. No news about my project. I'm a bit nervous about it. Should I've send it in the first place? It's so different from all I've done so far. Hope your instinct is right, serena.

Look forward to seeing you! I miss you,

M.

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Dear Serena,

I haven't received any reply for my photos. Oh! I doubt I ever will, I'm not an American, I don't have connections, they seem to count a lot here. I'm coming home tomorrow. I miss you so much! I miss my girl! Jo tells me she loves you!

Thanks for everything you've done for me so far! You are such an amazing woman!

M.

You have 2 missed calls from Mikael

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Serena! Call me! I've just got the message. They loved it. The Americans! They did! My project goes to New York! Jesus! And for a lot of money! I am so happy! I can't stop humming in the street right now, you should see people staring. I cannot believe it! Hope you are proud of me, I am of myself! Can you imagine? I go to New York, love!

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Celebration tonight at eight. My place. I bought the best French Champaign. Jo stays at Judy. I have all it takes for your beercof, too, just want to make you happy!

### ***

22:34

You have 5 lost calls from Mikael and a message: "Serena, ești bine? Ce a fost asta? Sună-mă!"

See translation:

Serena, are you ok? What was that? Call me!

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

I can't work with you, any more, Serena. I'm sorry, this is too much, for me!

From now on, you are no longer my event organizer. My lawyer will send the papers, tomorrow. I think it's the right thing to do.

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

I want to reassure you of all my sincere respect for your moral values. I did not expect the revelation. Such a nice looking woman has not eaten the forbidden fruit! Ok, I got it. The virgin excuse was to avoid men's places, but you came to mine, willingly. Didn't you? You enjoyed the evening, you wanted get closer, be mine. Was it that bad? No complains before, I swear. Do explain!

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

I hope your silence does not mean you are angry... Now, if I remember correctly, you kissed me first, and this was a compelling sign of affection. Damn it, woman, your hands were all over my butt. Don't deny it again and don't expect me to apologize for wanting more. Yes, I hugged you passionately, I was aroused. You made me wait for this a long time. Why don't you take it to the police? Just say so, I will come gladly. Come on! Did I leave you any bruises? No. But, you, my love, surely hit me hard. My God! I've never been hit by a woman before! You're damn lucky you're not a man; at least we could have had a really good fight! Look, it's not fault, you haven't met a real man so far, but with this attitude, Serena, love, it doesn't come much as a surprise. As I've told you before, I'm not in for this game. You are incredibly stupid, woman!

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

I went to the office. You've quitted your job, they say. Why should you do that for? You are like me, the stubborn type, we never quit! So, you really plan to move back to Bucharest? Doing what? Teach French? Is this true? Think of the consequences, I beg you! I've been to your chief, put all blame on me. I've told her we had a lover's fight. Most likely, people will start to talk about your being easy with a client, but at least, I've saved your job. She'll take you back tomorrow.

At this moment, legally, you are still paid by me and I'll not sign the New York contract unless you come back to work. I can do this and I will! Think about it, woman, you get the money to buy ten cats to grow old with and I, the bad rapist, the monster, will be away, an ocean apart actually. I am sure this will make you very happy. Call me, please!

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Hi! Why don't you take your calls? Do you even get out of our house? I've waited for hours in front. I can't believe this took you down, like this. Get over it! We are not in Middle Ages, any more. I don't know what to say, really don't... find a shrink, write something, anything... Please talk to me! I feel responsible for you, now.

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Bună! Hi!

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Bună, iubire... ești acolo?

See translation:

Hello, love... are you there?

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Mă gândesc la tine. Ce mai faci? Nu știu ce să mai zic. Am semnat contractul. Nu ai venit. Aveam nevoie de tine. Ai pe cineva? Bărbat, femeie?

M.

See translation

I keep thinking at you. How are you doing? I don't know what else to say. I've signed the contract. You didn't show up. I needed you. Do you have someone else? Man, woman?

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Sigur ai găsit pe cineva. Nu sunt gelos. Cine e? Plicticosul de Stefan? E în limbă după tine de mult timp, acum l-ai văzut? Nu e Roy, sigur, nu ești destul de rea pentru el, deși ai potențial. Cine e prostul care te ia acum? Tare aș vrea să știu ce o să-i spui tu despre mine!

See translation

You must have found someone else. I'm not jelous. Who is he? Stefan, the Nerd? He's lusted for you a long time! Now, you see him! It can't be Roy, you won't go dirty enough for him, although you show some potential. Who is the fool that fucks you, now? I'm curious to know what you're telling him about me.

Mikael

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Bună Serena. Am ajuns cu bine in New York, M-am gândit că vrei să știi. Ce mai faci? Spune-mi că nu ai plecat din Sibiu.

See translation

Dear Serena, we've arrived safely in New York. I though to let you know. How are you doing? Tell me you haven't left Hermannstadt.

Mikael Liebfried to Serena Maier

Bună Serena,

Am început să lucrez pentru Canon. Mă simt minunat. Acum stăm într-un apartament mai mare. Proprietăreasă are o pisică. I-am cumpărat și lui Jo una. M-a convins. II vom spune, Madame La Fleur, a doua, ca regina. Îi e dor de tine, fetei mele... Ce faci de Crăciun? Ne întoarcem în Sibiu și vrem să te vedem. Ești acolo? Ți-ar plăcea?

See translation:

I started working in New York, for Canon. It feels great. We moved to a bigger apartment. The owner has a cat. I bought my daughter one, too. She convinced me. We'll call it Madame la Fleur, the second. Like the Queen. She misses you, my daughter, I mean. What are your plans for Christmas? We're coming back to Hermannstadt and want to see you. Are you still there? Would you like that?

***

23.04.2016

Mikael Liebfried shared the album "Delicate Predator" to Serena's Timeline.

Serena likes it.

1 comment

Mikael: Dear Serena, I am happy you like my photos. "Delicate Predator" is for you. Hope this means we can talk soon. I miss you!

## Epilogue

Serena Maier shared the e-book "Love and Layers" on Mikael's Timeline, yesterday at 23.54

Mikael deleted the e-book shared in his Timeline/

Serena published the e-book "Love and Layers" on her Timeline

23 likes, 5 people reacted

Write a comment

Mikael: Șterge cartea! Ce naiba faci? Delete messages! Now!

Mikael: Please!

Mikael: Private messages are meant to remain private. It's embarrassing for you, too.

Mikael: Thank you for sending it, anyway. I've been waiting for you. I didn't expect it to be so damn public!

Judy Lang: Hi! I like love stories, even sad ones. :-)

Nick Cros: Love is a gift from God. You must love indifferently!

Stefan Pop: Get real, Nick! Friends are invaluable, love is fleeting!

A. D.: I'm happy you are done writing! Now, you can focus more on my work.

Mikael: What do you expect me to say, now? I'm not good with words, you know this.

Mikael: I read the letter. I'm glad our talks about Photoshop inspired you. Ok. Your layerism is a postmodern twist. Don't fool yourself, you're still a classic! You went back to the Greeks and didn't mock them.

Mikael: Too many cultural references, if you ask me. Do you think people will have enough time to look them up? Ok, you wanted to show off, but only the elite will understand you, now.

Stefan Pop: I agree. It's neoclassic, actually, the first part, far better than the rest. The rule of thirds? Each chapter has 3 poems and 3 parts, 3 main characters. There is a poem missing. In the last chapter, there are only 2. Hope this is a planned thing, not a mistake.

A.D.: Love is not fleeting, Steven! Physical attraction is!

Mikael: Hmm... I agree, too much style. She didn't even tell the end of some stories. Psyche went after Cupid and found him. People like happy endings! Don't you? I took the quiz, I'm a Ruler after all, but very much doubt you're one.

Stefan Pop: That's why I'll never marry. Where did you find the test?

Judy Lang: I'm a Charmer! :-) After the letter.

Mikael: My God, Serena! You're talking about sexual psychology... just makes me laugh. LOL. You've got no idea what're you're writing about, woman! I don't see pleasure, anywhere... What would people say about you, now?

Mikael: Better stick to what you know. Why bring this out, anyway? Oh, I forgot, chief's told you sex sells. You want to get rich, buy those cats. Ha-ha!

Judy Lang: I think psychological comments are useful for some people who need to see the doctor, if they are depressed. I believe one should seek therapy, it is a good thing for couples that have issues.

Stefan Pop: Yes, Judy, you should go there daily!

Roy Egger: Hello, Serena! I didn't know you can write about sex, girl! Super! Wir müssen reden. Vielleicht bist du interessiert?

Judy Lang: Why do you have to be so mean?

Stefan Pop: I am not.

Mikael: You are a jerk! Sie gehört zu mir.

Roy Egger: Mikael! Hallo! How is New York, these days? Must be night there! Shouldn't you be in bed right now, pounding some bin, dude? Roxane, Rosane something? Du bist ein Ruck, auch!

Mikael: Serena, change the title to Layers of Love, sounds more formal. Better change the name, too! Liebfried looks much better on you than Maier! No strings attached! I see you've already taken my name without asking... you even made up posts. This is a bit wird!

Roy Egger: Anyhthing looks better on Maier than you, dude!. Egger is the best name for any woman.

Mikael: Try to make me jelous? Ok! Come up with a baby! Our son? Why did you do that for, bitch! I've told you all about him.

Judy Lang: I don't agree, Maier is a nice name. It is her her name and she should not change this! We are no longer living in a world ruled by men, the social evolution of society proves I am right with this and I believe women should be more confident in their own skin.

Stefan Pop: Play it cool, man!

Mikael: What the hell do you want from me, Serena? Hmm? Throw some mud? Get even? Go for it! I don't pretend to be perfect like you, Miss Cultural Event Organizer!

Mikael: Ok. I am a single dad, average, not that hot! Thanks for your compliments! I know women are not particularly drawn to my situation, not the smart ones, at least. Yes! I got it! You're the smartest of them all, wanting to marry me. Two weeks after we'd met??? A contract with me? You're crazy! Completely fucked up, if you ask me!

Stefan Pop: You shouldn't talk like that!

Mikael: And who the hell are you to tell me this? Her man? Stay out of this! Serena wants some answers... Fine! Let's give her the answers!

Mikael: Yes, love! I cheated, more than once. Why? I felt fucking lonely, that's why! And a bit bored! Yes! I got caught! Not a big tragedy! No one cried! We got over it! Are you happy, now?

Mikael: No! I am not promiscuous. No! I never talk about divorce and my wife. Ex wife! Why you are so damn curious about that, bitch? You can't face real stuff, anyway!

Mikael: No! I am not LGBT, BSDM and whatever crap sells better these days. No! I swear, I have never taken a slave whore to my bed! Come here, check it yourself, if you dare!

Mikael: Oh, maybe you want to be one? For me? Should I buy you a belt? You seem to enjoy getting hurt!

Mikael: Look, Serena, I've told you many times already. That chain project was to shock people and get me some money. Only that! How many times do I have to tell you this! I don't like this, either! It's not my fault, people buy trash! I had to make a living!

Stefan Pop: I'm not her man. I have a girlfriend, remember? Besides, I'm Stefan, the Nerd. Are you drunk right now?

Mikael: No! I don't drink that much. I don't do drugs! Is this a joke to you?

Mikael: Why do you disappoint me, Serena? I thought you knew me better than this. Damn it, woman!

A.D.: Are you ok, Mikael? Yes, you sound angry.

Roy Egger: Doggy style, promiscuous? Yes or not?

Judy Lang: Yes, definitely! How can you ask this! It is rude to talk about such things in public, and later on, expect people to be polite to you and to respect you at work...

Stefan Pop: the most natural position, nature is not promiscuous.

A.D.: Roy, I've asked you to show me the sketches for the add. I want to see them, now. Are they done?

Roy Egger: Ok, I see your point, chief! Working on this.

Roy Egger You're so fucking lying! See! All men are promiscuous!

Stefan Pop: Mikael, calm down, it's just a book! The character has your name, but it is fiction! She's made a character out of you.

Roy Egger: Ja! She did a number on you, man! Get on her! Better than the Kardashians! I'm out for a beer! Keep talking!

Mikael: Fuck off, Roy!

Mikael: She gets to be the moral one! Come on, you dated the jazzist and never shared a thing. Never! Oh, yeah, we all know about him, love. From the day we met, made jokes about the whole damn thing!

Mikael: Shall I tell you one?

Stefan Pop: Don't do this!

Mikael: How can a man go from straight to gay? Take Serena on a date! LOL So funny! Shall I go on?

Mikael: This is your best man on earth! Ha?! A bi? A guy who fucked a tramp to prove he had a dick for you! Stupid woman, you didn't get it! Honest, my ass! If he'd nailed you already, he wouldn't have said it! Never! Not a word!

Stefan Pop: Are you sure you are not drunk?

Mikael: And you are still not talking to me, of course... Please! Tell us more! You see, I've questions, myself! How did he make you feel so damn special and satisfied? Your words, not mine. Oh! We both know how, love. You can't make me feel embarrassed with this. Hmm! Maybe I'll start writing poetry, myself. You won't like me talking about it. Right? Why not?

Mikael:Oh! Yes! Let's open up completely to the whole fucking world! Take all our clothes off!

Stefan Pop: Take this in private! You are jelous and make a fool of yourself!

Mikael: No. Not in private...not anymore! She thinks I'm the unsupportive, selfish man, hiding stuff! Well, I just want to prove I've changed. Completely!

Roy Egger: I'm back. What have I missed?

Mikael: Do you have any idea, what I am looking at, right now? An indecent picture on the net! Serena and Vulcan, holding hands... Too close, if you ask me, and not the proper lighting!

Mikael: Whoever took this picture was an idiot! Roy, you are an idiot! And you're telling me you don't remember him? At all! How stupid do you think I am?

Judy Lang: I can't stand people fighting like this. Mikael you are rude and should apologize immediately. I do not agree to any of this. I am out.

Judy left the conversation

Mikael: Come on!

Mikael: How can you write things like this!

Mikael: You are lying...The picture is from the top. I've been to those ruins... I know! That bastard climbed those stairs with you! You took him to the Bridge of Lies, too. Where else? I'm a Romanian, I know exactly what it means.

Mikael: You can't make a fool out of me! No! I didn't believe you. Truly, I wish I had!

Stefan Pop: Calm down! Cleary, you don't understand how literature works!

Mikael: First, you say you love me, no matter how good I'm in bed, then, you hit me, but in the end, it's so fucking great to hate me? Decide, woman! You're just not convincing enough with this! It's insane! You could have stopped me so many times! Why are we even talking about this? It's a waste of time!

Mikael: Just take your damn "bridge" and your stupid stories and your stupid poetry and go to hell with them! Just leave me alone! Delete my messages! I've asked you this already! Are you deaf? I'm filling in a report right now. Stop bullying me!

Mikael: Why do you have to write it in English in the first place? Why don't you take it to your shrink. It's not your mother tongue and you make mistakes! Viele Fehler! Ha!

Roy Egger: Sie schreibt nicht mehr. You should better stop, now.

Mikael: Why? So, she had lost her heritage, aha! She is mocking me about it!

Stefan Pop: Kai Vulcan? That Vulcan and our Serena! No way!

Mikael: Jesus! Can't you do anything right, woman! You are getting old already? Memory plays tricks on you! Do you remember first time we've met? It was me wearing the tan suit, staring at those photos. Blurred, if I remember correctly. I had no interest in your stupid cat....

Stefan Pop: I've already told you, it is fiction! It is only a book, Mikael!

A.D.: A different one, for sure. All books are immortal. You should be glad, you are a character, you'll never die!

Mikael: Oh, shut up, will you!

Mikael: Why are you doing this to me, now? Why do you pretend to be so damn caring? Didn't you make me sign that petition against gay marriages? I get it, now! A test, wasn't it? See if I am totally straight... well, you found out that night.

Mikael: Look, I've played it in my mind, time and time again and still don't get it! Everything was going so well... we're making out... and out of the blue, you hit me, called me a monster and rushed out. I am sick and tired of this! What's the matter with you?!

Nick Cros: God punishes you! Make peace not war!

Roy Egger: Make love, not war, Nick! John Lennon said it before you. Uh!

A.D.: I can't understand this either and I read it twice. Was it a rape? Did you make love to her, that night?

Roy Egger: On a date, at his place? This is no rape, for sure!

A.D.: She said she didn't want it, so...

Roy Egger: Where did you read that, chief?

Mikael: No! She didn't say anything.

A.D.: Ok. Serena, add this "No!" to scene and do not censor the sex scenes so much!

Roy Egger: A threesome would be great. Something like Fifty Shades... Serena, Vulcan and Mikael getting laid in a secret room in Brukenthal!

Mikael: I swear I will kill you, next time we meet!

A.D. No, I don't think her character would go that far. Let's keep it authentic. It's necessary for her to makes things clear for your readers!

Mikael: Yes! I agree. What exactly did you say? Nothing much. I did most of the talk about New York.

Mikael: I thought she'd be happy for me, chief. I got a big contract and everything... She was not. Self-centred woman! She felt I was...

Mikael: Did you? So... I see.

Mikael: Despre asta era vorba! Credeai că te las. De ce naiba n-ai spus nimic?

A.D.: English, please! I've asked before. Or, at least, turn on that See translation. What did he say?

Roy Egger: She thought he'd dump her, chief.

Mikael: Walk away like a Stage Director...

Mikael: My God! I was right, then. You are completely fucked up!

Mikael: Serena?

Mikael: Look, you sent me to Portland, told me to take those photos! Be famous! You made me believe I can do anything! Why didn't you tell me?

Mikael: You felt low about New York, didn't you? Lovers are entitled to be selfish.

Mikael: My God! I was right! You wanted me that night, too.

Nick Cross: Pride is a mortal sin, people should show only compassion in a time of trouble

Roy Egger: Yes, sure, man, go talk to Judy about that! Maybe you're getting somewhere.

Mikael: Don't blame the bottle! We were both sober. True, maybe, more than five glasses, I'm not sure. I was so excited about everything! You make me hate myself for what I did!

A.D.: What did you do? Come on? I want details!

Roy Egger: Ja! Me, too. Why are you being so secretive, all of a sudden? Come, dude, spill it out! What position? How long? Did you make her come? We shared these things before... Do you love her?

Mikael: No! It is not my fault. You left me first. I wanted to talk, I went to the office, remember that?

Mikael: You are wrong about everything! Listen to me! I care for the music. I've enjoyed yours so far. It runs deep. But your last chapter has a lot of silence, only me talking. Are you there, now?

A. D.: Yes, you came to me to talk, I remember. I like "Pathétique", too! It's one of the best pieces ever written, very powerful music!

Stefan Pop: Did you know it's a suicidal note, actually? The composer killed himself soon after he wrote this, drinking something....

Nick Cros: Thanks for the info, Nerd! Chief knows everything, as usual. Serena, it's true! Mikael tried everything.

Roy Egger: Never heard of this Tchai gay. Ok, he is real, but my man, Mikael is not. I am not real! And I have to believe this, because Serena wrote staff and Stefan says it's all fiction! And you call this literature! Morons reading books!

Stefan Pop: It is Tchaickovsky. He didn't make it to the X Factor for you, Roy. This is why you don't know about him.

Mikael: It is Tchaikovsky, I think. You should check...

Roy Egger: No, it can't be true! I'm coming over right now, be there in half an hour, Serena.

Mikael: Jerk!.

Roy left the conversation

Stefan Pop: Ignorant, to be more precise. The book is packed with intertextuality and suggestion, she even started with Baudelaire to enhance the emotions. Great sad symphony, the sixth! In the final part, all instruments are crying.

Mikael: I didn't know any of this, I swear.

Mikael: I didn't see it coming. I only dreamt about shaping her inside as my woman for months...

Mikael: I was selfish, I know. I'm so sorry, love. I didn't know how else to make you mine.

Mikael: "Get us some lights"... I thought you're just quoting Shakespeare, with the scene and everything... But this message was for me, wasn't it?

Mikael: Too subtle... Why do you have to be so subtle, all the time? No more filter effect this time! You are right, I've been a jerk to my heart. I can't change transparency. I'm feeling tired.

Mikael: I still don't get it! If we love each other so much, how the hell did we end up apart?

Mikael: Look, I've tried to read you again. I know. There are many things I've missed, the first time. I'm sorry, Serena! I can't be your Reader, anymore. I'm closing this account. I think it is the right thing to do, now. We deserve better!

Mikael: End this! Come to New York!

Mikael: I see you've called...I'm sorry

I don't feel like answering, this night...It's too late, here.

I know what we're going to talk about... what you want me to say,

i cant find my words right now, only feel like touching you

my god hurts like hell i have lost everything

are you crying now?

mă simt cumplit! ce banal ar fi fost totul în lipsa ta!

cant say it in English to anyone else so please! dont translate...

i really dont give a damn about the rest.

you havent sent me this message yet, but I know you will, any moment now... youve reported me...

are you still reading this? i put it somewhere else changed the title my name you said... i cant write its fine.

Dont worry love! Don't worry, ok?

i have thought about deleting everything for quite some time... delete all now.

Serena is drinking another beercof and still listening to the last movement of Tchaikovsky, Symphony No.6, Pathétique...

### ###

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