- It's pride month.
- It's time for a transgender adventure.
Super hero pose in three, two.
(camera clicks)
- Hey everyone I'm Laci Green
here with my friend Rob.
- Hey You Tubers.
- We decided that this would be
a really great time to
talk about trans issues.
- We're going to start
from the very beginning.
- The very beginning.
Now before we get started,
one little disclaimer,
Rob is a single human being.
- I don't represent all trans people
because I'm only one person.
It would be awesome if
I was all trans people.
- That would be really (pquah)
- Like super cool.
- What is transgender?
- Transgender is when your gender identity
doesn't match the gender assigned to you.
Your gender is assigned
to you by the world.
External forces.
It's assigned to you at birth
by the doctor, by your parents
and just how everyone perceives you.
- They look at your genitals,
they're like, well
that's pretty penis like,
you're going to be a boy
and if it's a vagina,
you're going to be a girl.
- (Rob) And that doesn't
always match up for people.
- (Laci) Right, it's not always
the way they're going to identify right?
Those two little boxes
can be very restricting.
FTM is someone who is assigned
a female gender but identifies as male
and chooses to transition to male.
- And that is a transman right?
- Yep.
- And then on the flip side.
- Someone who's assigned male gender
and then transitions to being female,
is a transwoman.
- So you use the gender
that someone identifies as.
You refer to them with she pronouns
and they're a transwoman or just a woman.
The trans clarification really isn't
that important unless it's trans specific.
You just use woman or man.
So sometimes, people will confuse
gender identity with sexual orientation.
- Well sexual orientation is who
you are attracted to while gender identity
is who you identify as.
- I think even more commonly,
is confusing trans with
being a cross dresser?
- Right, so cross dressing is more of
a performance, an expression of yourself.
Drag queen's are men who dress as women
for performance purposes or whatever
but they don't necessarily
identify as woman.
In there day-to-day life,
they still live a men.
Just whenever they put
on their drag outfit.
- And they may be straight men
attracted to women or they might be
gay men attracted to other men.
So the sexual orientation,
gender expression
and gender identity are
three different things.
Compared to the cis population are people
who identify as a man or a woman
and where actually assigned man or woman.
It all matches for them.
The trans community is much more likely
to be LGBT or LGB rather. (giggles)
(mumbles) is very likely
to be trans actually.
(laughs)
They're more likely to
be lesbian, gay or bi,
much more than the general population.
I think that may also contribute
to some of the confusion
because some of those
people actually are gay
or actually are lesbian.
- Yeah, we're all everywhere.
- [Rob] I just have always known,
I feel like since I've had consciousness
as a little kid, I felt I was male.
And though that's not
the gender I was given,
I always kind of knew
in the back of my head
and I would ask my dad for boy's haircuts
and all this other stuff.
- And was there a point
that you decided hmm,
I'm going to transition.
- There was.
So previously I thought,
I've seen transition on TV,
daytime TV sensationalize.
That seemed very alienating so I was like,
I would never do that and then I met
someone who was trans in real life
and I was like, wow my mind is blown,
this is like magic.
I can do this?
And so from there it
just became a reality.
Three years later I started watching
You Tube videos and after a certain point
the cost of not transitioning became
higher than the cost of transitioning
and by cost I mean the cost of
feeling like I know this and that
I maybe want this compared to the cost
of having to tell my parents,
tell my co-workers,
extended family, friends.
There's just a certain
point where it's like,
it's weighing on you so much that it's not
healthy any more and you don't have to
transition right away either.
Even whey you feel that way,
you can take baby steps.
- The baby steps.
- Baby steps.
- Baby steps are like this. (laughs)
- Like this.
- What were those baby steps like
for you in your process.
- For me?
So somewhere in middle school I decided
to go by a male name.
That made it easy, I already had
this little base plate
and then from there,
my friends actually, they proposed this,
great support of friends.
They just were like, oh if you're thinking
about this, we can use
male pronouns with you.
I was like, okay that sounds great.
- Amazing.
My face lit up every time
they used the male pronoun
and I was like, oh my
God, this is amazing.
- Yeah, so it felt right for you?
- Yeah, it felt right for me.
Then I switched to getting people
at work to do that.
Even though they sometimes would mess up
the gender pronoun's in the name.
They were trying and that really
helped me feel that this is what I want.
- What about your family?
- When I went to talk to them,
I already decided this is how I talk
to my family a lot of the time,
like I'm doing this now.
At first, they were confused and concerned
and it was real concern you know.
I was worried I would be
disowned or something.
They were worried for my safety.
How would people perceive this
and how would people react?
That included work life too.
How will I get jobs if
people know I'm trans?
Fortunately, in California you can
get your little marker changed
on your driver's license.
- Yeah California.
Showing the trans support.
So are you in a better place with them,
with it now?
- Yes, definitely.
So it took them some time.
I just had to kind of go slowly with them.
I had to have a lot of conversations.
Even if they react very strongly
or other people that you're talking to,
know that most people just happens kind of
visceral reaction but they're not trying
to be cruel or anything.
They do just want someone to explain.
- So what about your
romantic relationships?
- The romantic relationships?
I was really worried I
would never find love again.
It feels alienating maybe at first
when people can't pick up
the pronouns or whatever
so It feels like how am I going to find
someone who I don't
know who will accept me?
- Yeah, totally.
- That's not a problem.
You meet people and you feel out
what you share with them.
Just like anything else.
What about me do I share with you
and you feel that it's
safe to share things now.
- Wait until you trust them
and you feel comfortable with them.
- (Laci) For people who are questioning
their gender identity,
what words of wisdom
do you have for them.
- Try different pronouns.
You don't have to stick to the same
pronouns and the same names.
You're really just trying it out.
Try expressing yourself differently
- Yeah, practice being
yourself authentically.
Another thing too, you
can call on your friends
for support with that.
You have friends that you trust,
we're going to be there for you.
- And also don't feel like transitioning
puts you in another box.
If you're transitioning
from male to female,
don't feel like you have to wear
all this makeup or wear pink
or whatever these gender boxes may have.
- The idea is to break out of that.
- (Laci) How can we as friends,
as a society, better support trans people?
- Well one, use their pronouns
and their names.
Whatever they want to be called.
- It's a no brainer.
- It kind of extends to other people too.
If people are questioning
your friends identify,
you know, respect their privacy,
don't out them and sometimes it's not safe
to do that either.
Don't ask evasive questions
You wouldn't just go up to someone
and be like, so tell
me about your genitals.
- So how's your vagina doing today?
- If you still have one.
(laughs)
- Yeah, it's so strange that people
think that's okay just
because someone's trans.
It's important for people
to educate themselves.
Educate your communities too.
It's important to do that gently.
- Yeah.
- And compassionately.
- From my experience,
just a lot of people,
yeah, they're just ignorant.
And it's like you have to meet them there.
Like actually, let me start here
and dissect this.
- Thank's so much Rob. - No problem,
it was a pleasure being here.
- We're going to put some resources
in the description.
Also to Rob's videos.
Rob actually has a You Tube Channel
because he's so savvy.
- Yeah. (giggles)
- And knows what's up so check him out.
- They're pretty old videos.
- They're old but hey, you know what?
Oldies are goodies.
- See you later.
- See you next time, bye-bye.
♫ Peace be with you everyone
♫ Except your mom oh ♫
- (Man) What?
