- Pardon me, is this Castle Rumpus?
- Oui
- No! Castle Rumpus is a couple forests back that way...
- ...with the moat.
- Ah, see, we crashed that castle already...
...and that was Castle Eldridge..
How do you know?
Well, they shouted, "defend Castle Eldridge, to the death!"
Then what happened?
They died.
Leave us alone, we are peaceful scholars and poets!
Sorry, it's a crusade. I can't discriminate. Well, I mean, by nature we're
discriminatory towards your society... but
within that, every castle's got to go.
I have a message from our lord! "Do your
worst, but scholars
shall prevail! The penis mightier than the
sword-"
I think we are missing a space in there...
Alright, lads, we've got to toss this diseased cow into the enemy city. It is our duty to unleash this plague of
infection to cleanse the plague of evil
that dwells within the walls of that sinful city.
...the plague is the bad guys in case you
didn't quite catch the drift...
I'm never too sure if you guys are
comprehending my metaphors here...
in truth, I'm not even sure if you understand English.
Right. Well, let's get it started then.
Go ahead and toss that bovine, I suppose.
You're going to have to moooooove it a little further!
- Lift with your legs!
- Yeah use your calves!
Right... well this should definitely work.
Fire away!
- Oh don't have a cow now! 
- We certainly won't!
Right... well I was hoping we could go a little more vertical there...
See, we have to go over the wall not through it.
Got that? Over?
We can't exactly knock that thing down with cattle.
Now can we?
Looks like you are going to need a
little... bovine intervention!
Yeah that doesn't work...
A little extreme, but desperate times and all that.
...perhaps we should have purchased a
larger cannon?
Do we... do we have another cow?
You might want to learn how to steer
that thing!
Alright alright, enough with the puns now.
You know what? It's not worth it! You're not worth it!
Should have left the whole disease
nonsense to Green Knight anyway...
Oh no.
And that, my lord, is a sampling of my art.
If you liked it, would much appreciate if
you'd follow my work! I'll send
a scribe whenever it's ready. Let's call it "subscribing!"
You know, it's not exactly becoming all this self-promoting.
You're coming off as a little pushy.
How else would you see my art, my lord?
Rely on Al here! Al's our master of gore and rhythm. He schedules the entertainment.
If he thinks you're worth seeing,
he'll bring you to us.
- So that's Al... gore... rhythm... 
- Somehow i think Al's priorities are different kinds of entertainment than my art...
Oh don't worry, we'll still have a special place for you.
My dear ladyd how long have you been here?
Five years last Tuesday!
- Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were a woman.
- I am a woman.
Oh... how how did you get here?
I earned my place here like
everyone else! But just between you and me,
my papa owns the place.
Don't want anyone thinking there's any
nepotism going on. I'm just starting to
fit in! Part of the gang, I am.
Isn't that right, George?
- Please like and subscribe! 
- Who- who are you talking to?
We're proud to announce Castle Crashers 2!
Castle what? Am i in the looney bin?
