- I have kept my shit together
around so many beautiful people.
[huffs]
[upbeat piano music]
I'm not supposed to be here right now.
I'm supposed to be
watching Timothee Chalamet
cascade down the Met Gala
carpet in slow motion.
I'm supposed to be interviewing people
at the top of the carpet on my little step
for the third time.
Third time's my charm, dang it.
But you know what, good
times can still be had,
because they were had
and they will be had again.
And today, we're gonna
enjoy some memorable moments
from the Met Gala 2000 2018.
That was not a year.
[laughs]
From 2018 and 2019.
[bass music]
Okay we got Harry Styles coming up,
oh my god.
Come to papa.
Oh god he looks so good.
Baby you light up the
Met like nobody else.
How you doing Mr. Harry Styles?
- Good, nice to see you.
- My whole personality changed
when Harry Styles came up.
Hello Mr. Harry Styles.
What?
Why?
Welcome to your first Met
and you're a coach here.
How does it feel?
- I am.
It's an honor.
- Yeah?
- Yeah it's nice to be here.
- It's wonderful you look amazing.
Please tell me about your look.
- Thank you, so do you.
- Thank you, thank you.
- It's Gucci.
- Yeah that's right it's Gucci.
- And uh, it's pretty camp.
- Also, your shirt was very distracting.
Actually, no, your shirt was fine.
The fact that I could see
through it wasn't, for me.
For you it's great.
For the world it was amazing.
It was hard for me, though.
[gasps]
Rihanna!
You're whole body is glowing.
Is that that Fenty?
- [Rihanna] You already know girl.
- You have an amazing night tonight.
- Thank you.
- Thank you for blessing this carpet.
- Thank you so much.
You look gorgeous too, girl.
- Oh praise the Lord.
[exclaims]
I forgot that happened.
You know when your like, life
flashes before your eyes way back?
Rihanna giggling at me
is gonna be a moment
that definitely flashes.
Still haven't received a Fenty PR package.
But that's okay, that's okay.
Still support Savage X Fenty though.
Could use some new panties,
especially during the pandemic.
[upbeat piano music]
Off brand Cardi B, you the on brand one.
- Girl, bye.
We kind of like, look alike.
We do.
- That's a compliment, because
you look like an angel.
- Yeah, you too.
You're beautiful.
- Oh stop.
Fun fact I look like Cardi B
and Doja Cat's stunt doubles.
Like, not body doubles.
If you just see my like
run by really fast,
I look like Cardi B.
Now I gotta ask,
are there any special
Met Gala sounds tonight
that we're gonna hear from you?
- Girl, I can't even talk.
[laughs]
Every word that I come
out my mouth is like
[huffs]
Huffing and puffing, 30 pound dress,
three, four pound baby.
- Eow!
I should have played like her.
Stand-in for "Hustlers" or something.
When you can't book
Cardi B, book Cardi me.
And then with Tiffany!
- If the food is not what I need it to be,
I went ahead and I brought
some chicken, you feel me?
- Shut up!
- I got chicken in my bag, swag.
[laughs]
That's real pimp stuff.
- Look at that, you forgot
the hot sauce, though.
- No there's hot sauce.
Don't worry about that.
- And she brought chicken!
[laughs]
She brought it.
She whipped out that chicken.
It's so smart though,
because really you legit
only get one chicken breast.
Save a piece of chicken
for me though, okay?
- I will.
I will.
I will.
- Oh you know what?
Suddenly got angered,
because I just remembered,
she didn't save a piece of chicken for me.
Billy Porter!
- Yes! Yes!
- Speaking of wings, we got Billy Porter
with a side of wings tonight.
Let me see that.
- Yes, honey!
Oh!
Let me get the wing span!
- The sound effects this man made.
- Ka chow!
- Ka chow!
- Ka pam!
- Ka pam!
- Cha hoo!
- Cha hoo!
You literally just
drained my bank account.
That's what you just did.
[laughs]
I adore him!
If stunning was given a personality,
and a face and a beat,
it would be Billy Porter, baby.
Your Oscars outfit was
absolutely incredible-
- Thank you.
- And sparked such a
wonderful conversation.
Do you think it topped it tonight?
- I'm not trying to top anything.
I'm just trying to show up
and be appropriate for the moment.
- He made it feel so special.
And he like, he cares.
He cares, which is why
he shows up and shows out
for all that he does.
[exhales sharply]
I love people!
We have Cole Sprouse up next.
Let me tell you a fact.
The only sweepstakes I ever entered
was a Danimals sweepstakes
to hang out for a day
with Dylan and Cole Sprouse.
I don't know who won that.
There are rumors that it never happened.
How's it going Mr. Cole Sprouse?
- Still a little crust on the lips.
- I know, you need some water?
- We were at the same
table last year, right?
- We were at the same table last year.
- Hi, I'm Cole.
- Hey, I'm Liza.
- Hi, how are you?
- Good to see you again.
This is a full circle moment for me.
I met Cody.
Cody's my friend.
Tell me about your look tonight.
This is extravagant.
- Well, what do you think?
Give me your idea first.
- I'm feeling like the Popeye's man
meets floral decor, meets
Edible Arrangements.
Yeah he looked like the
Popeye's man, for sure,
but, he was cute.
Yo Lili Reinhart and Cole
Sprouse, beautiful couple.
I don't know if they're still together,
and it ain't nobody's business
if they are or aren't.
But whatever, I like them both.
- I feel like this is nice.
- Thank you.
- Because if-
- That pocket.
- Well, if you find a lover tonight,
they can just sort of stand
right in there with you,
and it's like a nice finger trap.
- Be a talk show host, man.
I'll pour your coffee into the mug
that says your name on it.
Whatever it is, you're
just so well-spoken.
It's so nice to hear you speak thoughts.
I'm good at it too.
Next up we got Kim Kardashian
West and Kanye West.
The story behind this moment
is that Kanye actually came up,
cameras were not rolling, of course,
Kanye actually came up and said,
"Tonight is about her."
"Please direct all questions to her."
"I'm here in support of her."
And I thought that was just
the sweetest thing, man.
And he was wearing just a
chillin, chill Dickies jumpsuit,
which made hers pop!
- I am wearing Mr. Mugler.
He hasn't designed for
the House of Thierry Mugler in 20 years,
so he had this vision of
me as a California girl
getting out of the ocean in L.A.,
or, you know, in Malibu,
and onto the red carpet.
- Kanye, meanwhile, looks like
mom you done talking to the neighbors yet?
[laughs]
- Is that Balmain?
- This is Balmain.
- I love it.
- Girl, I got so excited
when they put me in this.
I was like look at me,
I'm like a Kardashian or something.
Look at me.
He has such white teeth.
Like what in the charcoal
toothpaste are you using?
That's a beautiful smile.
And I was wearing Balmain, too.
Literally, when I was dressed in Balmain,
I was like the hell?
Am I a Jenner?
I'm like a Kardashiana.
- Have fun.
- Take care.
Guys, look back at it.
Look back at it.
You know how I usually
have an ending line?
I don't got one.
She took my breath away and hers
with that tiny ass waist.
[bass music]
- Step up.
How you doing?
- I need a little height.
- You know what, you got it.
- So a headline is
gonna come out tomorrow.
Apparently, it has your name in it.
- Mine?
- Uh-huh.
And whatever happens inside there tonight.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
[claps]
She held it together.
Any dream without him
in it is a nightmare.
[tongue pops]
Don't know how I did that.
I would do it again, though.
I would do it again.
Okay.
Rita Ora and Lizzo!
I wanna be Rita Ora's aura.
- So, I wanted to do something
that was just kind of
simple and glamorous
and sexy and beautiful.
- I like it, you look soft girl.
- And when in doubt, get them out.
- Girl, I got nothing to get out.
[laughs]
I forgot I said that.
She said,
"Gotta bring em out."
And I said,
[murmurs]
"I don't have nothing to get out."
- Lizzo!
Mark!
Come over here!
- [Lizzo] Aww yeah!
- Oh it's Lizzo!
It's Lizzo!
My whole pipe wouldn't let me turn around.
[laughs]
But I was like,
ya'll look it's Lizzo!
- This is cute.
- Yeah what's up?
- We kind of matching though.
- Hey, right?
- We got the feathers and the feathers.
- We got the pink going on.
- You know, we got the brown.
We got the brown, let's represent!
- We got this representation!
- Represent!
- This is the culture!
- Why am I screaming?
[laughs]
- Lizzo X Liza.
That happened.
She said I was cute.
Got dang look at her.
What a-
[claps]
You are changing the narrative
every day you live yours.
Thank you, Lizzo.
[snaps]
[bass music]
Yes, yes, yes.
Hello, Miss Hailey Bieber!
- Hello.
- How you doing?
Name changed since last year.
- Yeah.
- Look at her.
Stunning.
I thought she was Betty
Cooper when she came up.
Well ya'll look amazing.
- Thank you.
- Yes, have a wonderful night, ya'll.
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you too, love.
- All right.
- Take care, take care.
Oh wait, where your pants at?
Alexander, what?
Hold on.
Whoa! What?
Is that bedazzled crystal boxers?
Yes!
That just cracked me up, man.
I said where your pants at?
He said...
[laughs]
He said, you know where, bitch.
[laughs]
And for dessert, Cardi B,
and the B stands for she's back.
- How are you?
- I'm good how are you?
- I'm doing pretty good.
- Damn, you look good!
- Thank you.
- Look at those little-
- Mm-hmm.
- Those crystal nipples.
- No, no, no, these are
ruby nipples by Stefere.
- Oh excuse me, my bad.
- 250,000 each.
[laughs]
If I lose one of them,
you know what I'm saying,
I'm gonna have to-
[coughs]
sell my Birkin bags.
[laughs]
- She brought her own laugh track, too.
There we go.
[laughs]
Definitely could be her stand-in.
You look absolutely incredible.
Yo, thank you for letting
me talk to you again, girl,
you my favorite.
- Thanks.
- Yes, yes.
Wow!
Oh snap she got a whole
Tempur-Pedic back there.
I said thanks for letting
me talk to you again, girl,
you're my favorite,
and she said,
"Yes."
"Okay, bye."
And she dragged a whole
mattress behind her.
But yeah it's been an honor to serve.
But I'm ready to serve some looks
at the about time Met Gala twenty twen-
We'll see.
[upbeat piano music]
I felt like I ran a race doing that.
I needed an inhaler.
I was out of breath.
