Unlikely lines from a costume drama.
Madam, I'm in line to the throne
and, as such, we shall be dining
somewhere that befits my title.
Pizza Express, Woking!
BUZZER
Ah, Batman! I mean, I suppose
technically it's a costume.
BUZZER
Heathcliff, Heathcliff,
let me in, let me in!
I just wondered if we could count
on your vote on December 12th?
BUZZER
Generally, I am a footman, sir.
Although I do also like
the bottom and the breasts.
BUZZER
Just reading this review
from the Anne Boleyn musical.
It says, "It was a good idea,
but I didn't like the execution."
Lord Windermere is famed
for his opulent balls.
I've heard he wet-shaves them.
BUZZER
LABOURED SCOTTISH ACCENT: Aye,
ya can take our land!
Ya can take our lives!
But ya cannae do our accent!
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
BUZZER
You are Jane Eyre.
So this must be your brother, Nike.
BUZZER
That new servant girl
is so cold and unresponsive.
Watch this.
Alexa? Alexa?
Your Lordship,
I am delighted and excited
by the unexpected turn
our correspondence has taken.
I await with feverish excitement
the next portrait
of your engorged penis.
Please accept
this crude sketch of my boobs...
..as a token of my affection.
BUZZER
My heart is in my mouth.
My liver is in my anus.
Jesus, this corset is tight!
Carson, please get
your hand out of my trousers.
When I told you to go below stairs,
it wasn't a euphemism.
BUZZER
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius.
So, yeah, that's Mike, Alpha,
X-ray, India, Mike...
BUZZER
As the ruler of this country,
I demand some respect.
When you see me, you will bow
and you will say "Yas...queen!"
BUZZER
Mr Darcy, I could never belong
to you, I'm promised to another.
But I could give you
a quick handy behind the bushes.
BUZZER
