When my brother harold
Asked me
to be the best man
At his wedding,
I was like, "whoa,
"of course, man,
'cause you've always
been there for me."
Aww.
That's right.
Like when I was in rehab
And like the time
I couldn't find my car.
'cause harold, you know,
He's always been
the dependable one.
I've always...
Been the screwed-up one.
Right, dad?
Ha ha.
"why can't you
be more like your brother?
Harold would never
beat up his landlord."
He's drunk as shit.
Whoops.
[coughing]
But, uh...
A little news flash,
pop. Ha.
Harold ain't so perfect.
Remember that time
in puerto rico
When we picked up
those 2, uh...
Well, I guess
they were prostitutes,
But I don't remember paying.
Ok, how 'bout that?
How 'bout that?
Yeah. How 'bout it?
Terrific.
I'm a person, too,
pop, goddamn it!
I'm a person, too!
You're a moron!
Ooh.
Ok.
The best man,
everybody.
Best man.
The better man.
♪   ♪
ooh!
Uh...Hey,
We've all done crazy things
in our life, so...
♪       ♪
♪
He's playing
the guitar now.
Isn't that great?
Ha ha ha.
You're doing good.
Yeah? Sounds good?
It's because I'm the best
guitar player in the world.
Yeah. Self-taught.
No lessons,
thank you very much, pop.
All right.
David: They'll be
divorced in a year.
Very good.
