Well, folks, we are headed into
halftime on an absolute blowout.
- Bill?
- I can't help but wonder
if the league-mandated
sensitivity training
- hasn't taken away their edge.
- Now I've seen some bad
basketball before
but I don't even recognize the
team that's in front of me
right now.
Goddamn, that seminar
really screwed y'all up.
Some of us found
the seminar very enlightening.
Oh yeah, you enlightened
all right.
As in they lightening yo ass
up on the court.
What the hell is wrong
with you guys?
Well, for one thing,
when you keep asking us
what's wrong with you guys
it feels like you're
imposing a gender on us.
And some players
might have a hard time
focusing in the face of
a constant microaggression.
I'd love to see
a little aggression
'cause right now
everybody's out there
playing like a bunch of bitches.
Coach, the word bitches
is so offensive.
I don't even know
where to begin.
What the fuck are you
talking about?
The word bitches
is misogynistic.
It's like you're saying
we're playing like women,
implying that women aren't
as good at basketball.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
- That's sexist.
- And also not true
when you compare
the fundamentals
of the NBA and the WNBA players.
Personally I model my game
after Sheryl Swoops.
I've always thought of myself
as more of a Diana Taurasi. 
- I'm a Tina Charles all day.
- So ya'll happy being bitches?
Do y'all hear yourselves right
now?
Hey. Knock knock.
Hi, how are you doing? Coach,
I was reading some numbers
and Darren over there,
turns out that he's much more
effective as a power forward
instead of a center
in the first half.
Boy, if you don't get your
Moneyball homeschooled Dexter's
Laboratory
looking ass out
of my locker room...
- Don't cry, don't cry.
- Thank you.
- What is this?
What did you just
give my players?
That is something
I call V Sauce 3.
It's something I'm working on
that helps enhance mid-game
performance, it's chock full
of electrolytes and you...
... put it on vegetables.
Coach, it's just to preserve our
energy. 
- Yes. It's my special sauce.
Hell no! You don't come
into a room full of men
and start offering your special
sauce.
- Get your ass out of here.
- Wow.
- Now you're being homophobic.
- I'm not homophobic.
That shit sounded
suspect. Anyway,
remember what got us here.
Ball control, ball control -
when they come to the middle.
I want y'all to hit them
with hard D. What
the hell are y'all looking at?
- That was wasteful.
Sure the city of Flint
would have liked that water.
Oh you know
what I would love?
I would love Darren to
goddamn box somebody out and
grab a rebound.
The way you play it, we
stand about as much chance
as a one legged man
in the ass kicking contest.
- Ableist 
- Hey Rob!
You close out on your man!
You're out there moving
- like somebody's grandaddy. 
- Ageist.
Terrence, you out there playing
like a poor man's James Harden.
Classist.
I can't believe this the shit
I've got to deal with
in the finals.
It's already bad enough
my best player is a white boy.
Actually coach.
I identify as a black man.
- Nigga, what? 
- Lost your damn mind.
Come on guys. It's our struggle.
Haven't we been through enough?
