 
# In the Wake of a Dream

_The Newcomer Trilogy_ (Book 1)  
Shayn Bloom

Copyright 2015 Shayn Bloom.

For more information about the author and trilogy:  
http://shaynbloom.blogspot.com

Edited and formatted by Kye Fehrenbach.

Cover design by Ronnell Porter.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

# Table of Contents

Prologue

1. The Dreamcatcher Boy

2. The Awkward Dinner

3. The Dream

4. The Appalachian

5. The Holan

6. The Creed

7. Josephine

8. The Surface

9. The Newcomer

10. Eli

11. The Party

12. Caleb

13. The Teacher

14. The Ladder

15. The Dreamdrifter

16. The Utopian

17. In the Wake of a Dream

See beauty to behold,

In the ache of a beam

Touch hearts bold,

In the make of a seam

Smell love rolled,

In a cake of cream

Taste finest gold,

In the take of a stream

Hear stories unfold,

In the sake of redeem

Know truth will be told,

In the wake of a dream

– Dreamdrifter psalm

# Prologue

Six years passed before I decided to forget my dreams.

I hated my dreams.

But I hated one dream in particular.

Like a tornado this dream would rip through my life, leaving me shattered. With this reoccurring ruin in mind, I determined to take control of my life.

I built a routine. I would rise each morning and forget _the_ dream as quickly as possible, refusing to reflect once freed, the chains of the dream falling away, cowards against determination, leaving no scars.

My routine worked for a while. I began each morning with four motions: Eyes open, covers thrown off, feet on the floor, dream forgotten. I liked to combine the last two, racing to forget my dream by the time my feet hit the wooden floor of my bedroom. I was slowly getting better, becoming a master of self-distraction, each night's dream rejected faster than the last.

I had won it seemed. I had conquered the night and taken control of _the_ dream. Empowered, I realized that I could do or be anything. I just had to choose my dream. I couldn't have known that my dream would choose me.

# 1. The Dreamcatcher Boy

I awoke, stung by the night.

In its wake I felt the fresh, pulsing bite. My skin tingled and my heart raced. I tossed the covers away. My feet hit the floor with my defenses. I had been caught off guard. The dream had come from behind.

It had been _the_ dream. _The_ dream I had been pushing away for six years. _The_ dream I hadn't relived in five months. _The_ dream I had believed my determination could destroy.

I felt the warmth before I knew I was crying. Flushed, I leapt from the bed. I would not give in like this. I would not lose control. Standing, I inhaled deep, soothing breaths that calmed my heart.

Gazing around the room, I drank in the mess. The furniture was haphazard, that was the most obvious problem. My bed was crooked, the cushions were in disarray on the foldout couch, and everything from books to wrappers littered the floor. The cave was the room at the bottom of the staircase. Couches lined its wood paneled sides and a pellet stove stood in the corner where an old fashioned iron once stood. Walking through the cave, I continued up three stone steps and into the kitchen.

Dad walked in from the backyard. He was dressed in a white shirt and khaki pants. The tie slung over his shoulder would make its way around his neck as he sat in traffic on the way downtown. There he was, the professor.

"Ready for your first day?" Dad asked.

"Yes," I replied. "But I'm a bit nervous."

Dad nodded. "I was always nervous before term started. Now I'm teaching and I'm still nervous!" He snorted with self-deprecating amusement. "Abnormal Psychology, you?"

"Intro to Psychology with Adia Arrowheart," I reeled off.

Dad looked surprised. "You have Dr. Arrowheart?"

Sighing, I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. "You recommended her, remember?"

"Not really," Dad replied. "But you'll love her. She specialized in clinical depression."

"Oh," I said.

"Anyway, I'd better get going," he added, opening the refrigerator and grabbing a water bottle. "Be on time!" Leaning against the counter, I returned his wink before watching him descend into the cave and out through the front door. "Have a good first day!" Dad called.

Today was my first day of college. However, Dad and I would be heading in two different directions. While Dad would spend the semester driving to Johns Hopkins University, I would be going to Carroll Community College until I decided what to study. I could transfer later.

While in the bathroom upstairs, I peeked in the mirror above the sink. A skinny, eighteen year old girl stared back at me, her red pixie hair revealing ears that sat like question marks on the sides of her face. She smiled at me before turning away.

I dressed hurriedly after showering. I didn't put on my jeans but fell into them and didn't put on my bra but wrestled with it to comply. A shirt and backpack over my shoulder later I was running down the stairs.

Score was parked across the dirt driveway. My Celica was named Score for two reasons: its considerable age and the fact that I loved it regardless. Soon I was speeding up my long, dirt driveway at fifty, ignoring the tiny rocks that bounced and dived around the car frame like dolphins around a cruise ship.

Open acres stretched for miles and trees waved at me from the landscape of horse and cattle farms. Suburbia was whizzing by at sixty-five miles an hour and Westminster was fast approaching. Ten minutes later I pulled into the parking lot at Carroll Community College.

The main building was comprised of glass, red bricks, and high, vaulted roofs. I zigzagged through the crowd of people, passing under light posts and sporadically placed trees. I climbed the staircase inside while retrieving a piece of paper that I had scribbled on earlier. It read: LAB, 219.

A man crossed the top of the staircase.

"Excuse me!" I panted, reaching the top and feeling infinitely out of shape. The man was older, probably a professor. "Am I in the right building?" I handed him the scribbled note.

He looked down at the paper. "Yes."

"LAB?"

"Liberal Arts Building," he said. He pointed down the hallway. "Your room is just down the hall there."

"Thanks." Following his directions, I stopped at a line of students protruding from a doorway.

Two girls were talking in low voices. Regardless, I could hear what they were saying. "I don't understand," said the blonde of the two. "They never do this."

"What're they doing?" I asked.

The blonde girl turned to me, her silver eyes sweeping me into the gossip stream. "Dr. Arrowheart is assigning seats. Professors _never_ assign seats."

"That's strange," I said.

" _Yeah_ ," she enunciated. "Class should have started ten minutes ago." The line, however, was quickly dispersed as Dr. Arrowheart assigned each student a seat. Soon it was my turn.

The woman standing before me was short and black. Her hair was long, shining with red highlights, and dispatched into a weave that allowed it to curl around her voluptuous bosom. Blood red tint layered her eyelids and an enormous, metallic dreamcatcher necklace matched her earrings.

"Name?" Dr. Arrowheart spoke clearly.

"Annie McGallagher."

Dr. Arrowheart, despite having assigned the previous girl her seat without so much as looking at her, gazed at me. "You're Martin McGallagher's daughter... third from the back on the right side, _middle_." I was taken aback by the short exchange.

" _Thanks_ ," I said, allowing my tone to curdle the word. Turning, I walked down the center aisle of the classroom. Finding my seat, I caught the internal whiff of a headache approaching. Sighing, I brought my palm to my face.

"Not feeling well?"

I looked to my left. My heart was instantly thrumming in my chest.

The boy sitting next to me was brighter than the sun. Brilliant hazel eyes burned above full lips that smiled above a thick, muscular body. A v-neck shirt revealed a rugged upper chest and a curling tattoo that dipped downward like a necklace. His hair was messy and yet flawless as it lay dirty blonde on his head like the luckiest hat ever. He was like reflected gold.

"What?" I stammered.

"Are you not feeling well?"

"I – I'm alright. It's just a headache."

"Oh," he said. "I thought it might have been _her_." He motioned to the front of the room where Dr. Arrowheart was assigning seats to the final stragglers. "I was watching." It was difficult not to hyperventilate while gazing at him. Those hazel eyes threatened to explode a bombshell of desire in me. He smiled. "I'm Ash."

"I'm Annie."

"I'm Dr. Arrowheart," Adia said, taking center stage. "I will be your professor for Intro to Psychology, Social and Behavioral Sciences, during this summer session. We'll be meeting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for the rest of July. My expertise is in clinical depression. Any questions?" As I watched Adia stare down her classroom, I realized something. I didn't like her. "Wonderful!" Adia continued. "Let's get started." She turned back to the desk to deposit her clipboard.

She whirled around. "Sex!"

The blonde girl looked up with her mouth agape, her furious texting of a second ago forgotten. Another girl spluttered on her coffee and a third dropped her pen. I looked at Ash.

"Sex is the defining characteristic of our personalities," Adia said. "Or that's what _some_ psychologists believed." Adia smiled. "Who is considered the father of modern psychology?"

A boy raised his hand. "Freud?"

" _Sigmund_ Freud." Retrieving a piece of chalk, Adia walked to the blackboard.

Ash chuckled. "I think he had it right."

"Freud is most famous for his thoughts on the _subconscious_ mind," Adia continued, her back turned to the class as she scribbled. "He said that sex and sexuality define our subconscious minds."

"What do you think?"

Startled, I met Ash's eyes. "Sorry, what?'

"Do you think we are defined by our subconscious minds?" His eyes were boring into mine, his muscular body tensed.

"Oh," I said. "I'm not sure."

His eyes left mine and wandered to Adia as though for help. His body relaxed but seemed to deflate simultaneously. My thoughts were racing and confused. Had he been serious?

Dusting the chalk from her hands, Adia turned back to the class. "What was Freud talking about when he referred to 'the royal road to the subconscious'?" The room was silent. Ash twitched. " _Dreams_ ," Adia murmured, leaning against her desk. "Freud said that dreams are the royal road to the subconscious mind. Dreams take place on a stage called the subconscious mind. Remember that." She went back to the blackboard. "Take down these notes." Adia freed the class two hours later. Students gathered their books before loading them into backpacks and large purses.

"Want to grab lunch?" Ash asked.

"Of course," I said too quickly. "I mean, yes." We left the room. The sun had risen to its highest point. Closing my eyes, I listened as the outside door to the building closed behind us, signaling freedom.

"Feeling better?" Ash asked.

"Yeah, I guess," I said. "It's just been a crazy day."

"How about that Dr. Arrowheart, huh?"

"She's _interesting_ ," I said. "Definitely knows what she's talking about."

"I'd hope so!" Ash's hazel eyes danced in the sunlight. "So about that bite," he continued. "Dining hall?"

"Sure," I answered. "But I don't know where it is. This is my first day on campus, my first day of college actually."

"Seriously?" Ash smiled. "Why psych?"

"I want to help people," I replied. "Maybe be a social worker or something."

"Why do you want to help people?" Ash asked, leading the way.

"It's just the thing to do, isn't it?" I asked, following him.

"Is it?" Ash said. "I bet there's a reason you want to help people."

"Maybe," I allowed.

"Maybe as in maybe you'll tell me _why_ you want to help people," he said.

I hid my smile. "Maybe as in maybe I'll answer your question if you'll answer a few of mine."

"Now we're getting somewhere," Ash said.

"Of course," I replied. "We're here!"

The dining hall had more windows than the surrounding buildings. Apart from that distinction, however, it was painfully unadvertised. The blowing of the air conditioner greeted our steps as we walked inside. The cool air felt wonderful against the humidity of the day.

"I have a meal card," Ash said. "I'll swipe for both of us." After swiping his card, Ash led me into the main cafeteria section. "What kind of food do you like?"

"I'm not picky," I answered.

"How about salad?" Ash asked, leading me to the bar.

I nodded. "Salad's alright."

"I love Caesar salad," he said, piling his plate full. "Have some."

I followed his lead. "I'm being so good. Usually I go right for the pizza."

Ash chuckled. "You can always hit up the pizza for seconds," he said. Choosing a two person table, we sat down beside a large window. "Anything to drink?" Ash asked, setting his tray down. "I get coffee."

"I like orange juice." I began to rise but he stayed me with his hand. "You sit tight right there. I got it."

My eyes followed him across the room to the beverage bar. I was attempting to wrench my gaze from his every movement but it was impossible. Instead, I smiled at him as he came back, drinks in hand.

"So ask me a question," he said, throwing himself into his seat and flourishing his fork, already having speared a crouton.

Unfortunately, I had already started on my salad. As I opened my mouth to respond, a huge piece of lettuce covered in Caesar dressing clung to my lip. Horrified, I slurped it up too quickly, spraying dressing over my chin.

Ash was kind enough to distract me from myself. "You said that you would answer my question if I answered yours," he reminded. "So go ahead, ask me!"

"Oh, right," I said, wiping my chin with a napkin. I considered Ash, drinking in his fantastic body along with my pleasantly cold orange juice. His thick, muscular arms were veined and tanned. I had nothing. "How old are you?"

"Seriously?" Ash raised his eyebrows. My heart pinged off my chest. "That's your question?"

"My _first_ question," I amended.

"Nineteen," he answered.

"Are you a freshman?"

"I'm not really in college," he said. "Just taking a class."

"A class?"

"Just the one," he said.

"Like me?"

"Like you," he agreed.

"Any siblings?" I asked, turning a crouton to dust beneath my molars.

"An older sister and a younger brother."

I nodded. "What do your parents do?"

His face fell but only for a second. "They were..." Ash paused. "Social workers."

" _Were_ social workers?"

"I'm an orphan."

"Oh," I murmured. "I'm sorry, Ash. How long –"

"Ago? Six years and counting," he said. "So I'm only days away from finally figuring out the laundry. I know it!"

I smiled sadly. "That's a useful skill to have."

"So I've heard."

"Who told you?"

"You, just now," he said cheekily. "One last question and then it's my turn."

I scanned my brain and his body for another question. And then I saw it, what I had missed before. The tattoo curled downward to where it was revealed by his v-neck shirt. I felt silly for having ignored the tattoo so far, despite the rugged jaw line and sweetly cascading neck surrounding it. They exploded my concentration like landmines.

"Your tattoo, it's a –"

"Dreamcatcher," Ash finished for me, folding away his smile. "Yeah, but that's not a question." His eyes were averted as he spoke and I realized that something had happened to his posture. He had tensed. I was getting the impression that Ash didn't want to discuss the dreamcatcher and nothing could have made me want to discuss it more.

"Here's a question," I said. "Why a dreamcatcher?"

He was a deer to my headlights. "I – I like dreamcatchers."

"You _like_ dreamcatchers?" I repeated doubtfully. "Tell me the real reason."

"That is the real reason," he said, blinking.

I crossed my arms before placing them on the table. "Here's another question," I began boldly. "Why should I answer your question when you won't answer mine?"

"Want to go out?"

My composure popped like a balloon hitting a stalactite. "What!"

"Do you want to go out?" Ash repeated.

"With you?" I asked.

"Yup."

It was my turn to look awkward. The difference was that I had an honest answer. "Yeah," I breathed. "I'd like that." Something this wonderful couldn't be happening. I had to check. "You mean like a date, right?"

His smile widened like my hyperventilating heart.

# 2. The Awkward Dinner

"We're having company tonight," Mom said. "Martin sent out invites." She always referred to Dad by his first name, even when talking to me.

"Who's coming?" I asked.

"It was _supposed_ to be a surprise," Mom added, not looking at me but continuing to read her psychology journal. "I shouldn't tell you. Martin went to the store but you can ask him when he gets back." A developmental psychologist, Mom diagnosed kids with disabilities and suggested treatments. She, like Dad, was a workaholic.

Back in my room, I stepped carefully over the debris on the floor. Oscar, my chocolate Labrador retriever, reached the bed first. Lying down, I let Oscar put his head on my stomach. The equilibrium of his breathing soothed my consciousness. Sleep was easy until I was interrupted some time later.

"Annie?" Dad's voice carried up the stairs. "Can you help bring in the groceries?"

Grabbing the remaining groceries from the car, I went into the kitchen. Dad was putting the dairy away. Mom had disappeared. The psychology journal she had been perusing lay closed on the table, a bookmark jutting from its pages.

"Where's Mom?" I asked.

"She ran out to get lemons," Dad replied. "We're having salmon tonight and I forgot lemons!"

"Oh!" I remembered. "For the guests! Who's coming again?"

"Dr. Divion and Dr. Boliers," Dad answered, opening the refrigerator. I recognized both names but with no excitement. Jonathan Boliers was the family doctor and friend who worked at Johns Hopkins Hospital and Linford Divion was a member of the psychology faculty at the University.

"Cool," I said unconvincingly. "But how is that a surprise?"

Dad smiled. "We're having other guests as well."

"Who?" I asked.

He shook his head. "It's a surprise!"

Sighing, I sat down at the kitchen table. In an attempt to distract myself from the gnawing unknown, I opened Mom's psychology journal and began to read. Suddenly, I heard the front door open and then slam shut. Mom came in looking annoyed. She tossed her keys and purse on the counter. "They were out of lemons at both Weiss and Giant!" Mom exclaimed. "Why do the Arrowhearts have to be pescetarians?"

The psychology journal slipped from my hands and splashed on the floor, its pages askew. I stared at my parents in horror. "What?"

"Sarah!" Dad said. "You've ruined the surprise!"

I was flabbergasted. "You invited Dr. Arrowheart?"

"Martin did," Mom said. "It was _his_ idea."

"Why!" I exclaimed.

Dad attempted to explain. "I thought it'd be a good bonding experience."

"Bonding experience?" I repeated. This could not be happening. The dread was already heavy in my stomach, a brick filling its capacity.

"Martin," Mom demanded. "We need lemons for the salmon! We have seven people to feed."

"Seven!" I said. "Who else is coming?"

"Todd," Dad replied. "Adia's brother. Alright," he continued, speaking to Mom. "I'll go out again. We need more Pinot, anyway."

"Get four bottles," Mom instructed. Reaching down, she retrieved her psychology journal from the floor before leaving for the living room. Grabbing his keys from the counter, Dad also prepared to leave.

"It will be fine," he reassured. "I bet you will thank me later for arranging the whole thing."

"I don't think so," I said crossly. Secretly, however, I promised myself that I would lie if he asked me later. The hours passed surprisingly quickly. Sometime later Mom called up from the bottom of the staircase.

"The guests will be here in half an hour!" Mom said.

Dread filling me, I changed into a white, frilly summertime top. I was in the bathroom, comb in hand, attempting to get my short hair to poke around my ears when I heard them.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

The sound pinged around the room like my nerve wracked heart. My professor was outside the door. I heard the door open and voices fill the cave. They were all down there. They were all waiting for me. At the bottom of the stairs, however, I saw nobody. They had either moved to the kitchen or the patio outside. The dread almost unbearable now, I walked through the cave and into the kitchen.

Adia was sitting at the kitchen table with her legs crossed. The dreamcatcher earrings were gone, but the metallic dreamcatcher necklace of yesterday had been replaced by a sprawling, jewel lined one for today. It looked amazing on her, contrasting beautifully with her white dress.

"Hi, professor," I said politely.

"Ms. McGallagher," Adia replied. "It's a pleasure to see you outside of class."

I had to escape. My chance appeared along with Dad, his hands busy with a plate of grilled vegetables. Hurrying to assist him with the door, I leapt to freedom. Outside, the fish sizzled on the grill. The others were sitting around the patio table.

"Come join us, Annie," Mom called. "Lin was just telling me some nice things about Dr. Arrowheart." I went to join them, choosing a seat opposite Mom. Beside her sat Divion, a handsome man with curly brown hair.

"Speaking of which," Boliers said. "We may as well talk about Adia while she can't hear us." Dr. Boliers was a rotund man nearing retirement. The family doctor, he was at least an annual guest. "So who's got some dirt?"

"Me! Me! Me!"

The boy who had exclaimed gazed in my direction, shining me a beautiful, cream laced smile. His pearled teeth reflected Caribbean sand and his short, spiky dreads were adorable. He looked about my age. "If anyone's got dirt on Adia, it's me!"

"Out with it, Todd," Boliers coaxed. "Tell us all!"

Todd rested his arms on the table. "Alright," he began. "Once –"

"What's happening out here?" Adia interrupted, strolling from the kitchen.

"Nothing, sis," Todd said. "How's life in the kitchen?"

"Could be better," Adia answered. "This dog won't leave me alone!"

"Oscar!" I called, half turning in my chair. "Here boy!" Oscar crept around Adia before scampering to my side. He sat down between me and Todd.

"Doggy!" Todd exclaimed, leaning over to scratch Oscar's ears.

"That's one cute dog, Annie," Divion said.

"Suppertime!" Dad came busting out of the kitchen with the freshly doctored vegetable plate in hand. "Sorry for the delay."

"As long as it's good we're happy to wait!" Boliers said.

"Speak for yourself, doc," Todd said. "I'm hungry!"

"No one get up!" Dad demanded. "The grill is coming to you!"

The following hour wasn't as terrible as I had foreseen. The banter was jovial and to my immense relief steered clear of academia for awhile. Adia hardly glanced at me for most of dinner, choosing instead to talk with my parents and their friends. But finally, as I had known it would, my luck ran out.

"Did anyone read Dr. Montframe's article on behavioral economics in _American Psychologist_?" Mom asked. By now the store-bought blackberry pie had been served and the fourth bottle of wine trucked out.

"I read it," Divion said. "It seemed like a paraphrase of his article in the _APA Monitor_. He ended it with the same conclusion and cited the same studies."

"No he didn't," Dad said. "He may have cited some of the same sources, but his article in _American_ _Psychologist_ was different because he –"

"Wanna get out of here?"

Startled, I looked over. Todd was gazing at me, his smile stunning even in the choked light of dying day. Out of nowhere, I was breathless. "Sure," I answered. "But where should we go?"

"Anywhere," he said.

His smile spread to my face. "Let's go." Standing together, we snuck into the kitchen. Oscar hurried to follow our steps. The others were too distracted by their debate to notice our sudden escape. Back inside, I turned to Todd. "Should we go to the cave, upstairs, or just stay here?"

"What's the cave?" Todd asked.

"The old cabin part of the house," I answered, bored with my explanation. "The original building."

"That's so cool," he said. "We live in an apartment."

I was suddenly fascinated. What was Professor Arrowheart's life really like? "Let's go upstairs," I said. With Oscar in our wake, we wound our way through the cave and up the staircase. Upstairs, I flicked on the light.

"Wow." Todd's voice was awed.

"Yeah," I cringed. "It's bad."

"It's great!" Todd exclaimed. "You have so much stuff!"

"Want to play Xbox?" I offered.

"Nah," he replied. "I want to talk to you."

Taken aback, I felt a huge impulse to cross my arms. I fought it off. "Okay," I allowed. "What do you want to talk about?"

Sitting on my bed, Todd shrugged. "Ask me a question."

This situation was reminding me of one I had experienced only yesterday. Todd and Ash, however, were two very different boys physically. Todd's smooth neck fell into a chest of iron and his arms were strapped with thick, bulging muscle. Black cheeks glistened with dew encrusted crystals above his cream filled smile that enticed a balloon of desire to arise in me like self-control about to pop.

"So?" Todd asked.

Realizing that I had been staring like a ghoul, I shook myself. "Oh, um..." Todd's smile widened. "Okay," I said. "I have a question!" I sat on the bed beside Todd, moving as Oscar jumped up beside me. My retriever always picked the wrong moment to be a guard dog. "Here goes."

"Shoot," Todd said.

"Give me some real dirt on Adia."

"What's _real_ mean?" Todd asked.

My reply was easy. "Something she wouldn't want me to know."

Todd blinked. "Why do you want to know something that Adia wouldn't want you to know?"

"If I answer honestly will you tell me?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"I want something real on Adia because I don't like her," I said. "And if I know a secret of hers it will make her more tolerable."

Todd stared at me, his eyes incredulous.

"What?" I asked, feeling self-conscious.

"You guys are so... _strange_."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "You _guys_?"

"Girls!" Todd exclaimed. "You guys are so strange. Like how you think!"

"Okay," I said, discarding his remark. "So are you going to tell me?"

"Were you honest?" Todd asked. I sensed that the question was rhetorical, for contractual purposes only. I nodded. "I knew you were too," Todd continued, scratching his dreads.

"So?" I was losing patience. At any second we could be summoned downstairs and the moment would be lost.

"So..." he began. "Adia is responsible for many deaths."

"What?" But I had heard every word.

"Don't make me say it again," he protested.

"Okay," I said quickly. I didn't have time to hate myself for asking. I was too surprised. Adia was responsible for _many_ deaths? The idea seemed impossible and yet I somehow knew that Todd was being honest.

"How many?" I managed.

Todd looked uncomfortable. "I'd rather not –"

"Of course!" I interrupted, feeling that I had been rude. I attempted to distract him. "Ask me something now."

He took a deep breath. "Do you have a boyfriend?" I hesitated, not sure of how to respond. Did Ash's supposedly incoming text count for anything? Todd nodded quickly, misinterpreting. "I thought you would."

"No," I said slowly. "I don't have a boyfriend."

"Do you want one?" Todd asked. My brain reeled for an answer. "Like if the right guy comes along?"

"Yeah," I said. "That answer."

Todd was smiling. "Ask me another question," he said. I searched and then I saw. A black tail of ink, even darker than the rest of his skin, crept upward from where his t-shirt yielded to his thick, cascading neck.

I pointed to the marking. "What's that?"

Puzzled, he looked down before looking up to give me his most creamy smile yet. "That's _my_ secret."

"Can I see it?"

Todd hesitated and then nodded. Suddenly, he yanked off his shirt in one sudden, upward pull. Todd's muscle strapped arms had only been a teaser, a cupcake to the wedding concoction that now sugared my eyes. But shock was registering in my brain and distracting pleasure, for emblazoned on his chest in black ink, its beautifully rendered feathers reaching down to gather around pontoon abs was a... but how could it be?"

"It's a, it's a —" I stammered.

"Yep!" Todd said happily. "It's a dreamcatcher! Do you like it?" I stared at him in disbelief. "Are you okay?" Todd asked, his smile attempting to be interceptive. It didn't completely fail.

"Yes," I breathed, feeling winded. "I just –"

"Todd? Annie?" Dad called. "Are you upstairs?" Standing quickly, Todd replaced his shirt. "Todd? Annie?"

"We're coming!"

Todd descended the staircase joyfully. I descended it incredulously. They were all waiting in the cave. Dr. Boliers, who had certainly enjoyed his share of wine, stumbled around the bottom stair as he made for the door.

Lin Divion shook my hand. "Nice seeing you, Annie."

"Come on, Todd," Adia said. "I have an early morning."

"You have to teach our daughter," Dad added.

"That's right," Adia acknowledged, moving to sweep her hair back and accidentally upsetting the dreamcatcher necklace.

My heart stopped.

Beneath where the dreamcatcher necklace had been was a jet black, curling tattoo. Either it was an exact clone of the necklace over it or the necklace was an exact clone of the tattoo under it. In a rush of movement, Adia realized what had happened and quickly realigned the necklace. The damage, however, was done.

"Night, Annie," Todd said. "Mind if I drop in sometime?"

"Yes," I said distractedly. "I mean no, visit."

"Cool," he said. "See you later!" In a haze of stunned fascination I waited while a few more handshakes and farewells were exchanged and then the door closed and they were gone.

"You and Todd seemed to get along," Dad said, locking the door. "He's a fine young man and I bet he has his sister's smarts. Anyway," he continued, rounding on me. "Was I right? I said earlier that you'd thank me for arranging dinner with the Arrowhearts. Was it worth it?"

Remembering the promise I had made to myself, my eyes found his. "It _was_ worth it, Dad, thanks."

The strangest thing about that lie was that it wasn't one.

# 3. The Dream

Sunlight fell through the curtains and into the room, its rays bouncing and joyous. The flamboyant sun was wasted on me, however. A smile was already lighting my face. This happiness was beyond any I had known. Its song sang further, its beam burned farther.

Dad was standing between me and Mom, blocking my view of the hospital bed. I listened to their hurried discussion. Mom's voice was tinged with agonized nerves. I caught glimpses of words, but I didn't know what a C-section meant.

"Dr. Boliers will be here in a heartbeat," said the nurse, smiling to my parents. "It looks like you're almost ready."

"Thanks, Adele." Dad managed a weak smile. Mom managed a gasp, and looking around I saw her clutch her large, protruding belly. "Breathe, honey," Dad said, but the worry was plain on his face. "We're almost there!"

"Almost there!" Mom's voice was furious. "This began thirteen hours ago and you're telling me we're _almost_ there? This is supposed to be easier the second time around!"

"They're doing all they can," Dad reassured. "They're trying to help."

"Then why don't I _feel_ helped!" Mom yelled. Her face was shining with sweat and her hair was in a record breaking tangle.

Despite Mom, I was feeling fantastic. The warm day, the endless ice cream from the cafeteria, and the fevered excitement were combining wonderfully. Happiness buzzed around inside me like a bee dropping honey.

Above all was a single name: Alexi.

Alexi, my baby brother to be.

My parents had announced the news nearly nine months ago. Since finding out, I had become a kite. Beforehand I had only flown them.

Dr. Boliers trundled in looking calm but determined. He offered my parents an encouraging smile. "Adele said you're ready. Are you ready?" Boliers asked. Mom was breathing hard and issuing pained moans.

"Yes, we're ready," Dad said, looking strained. His hands were clasped with Mom's. I could see his veins popping. "We've decided against a C-section."

"Alright then," Boliers said, pulling on elastic cloves. "Number two, here we come!" As Boliers spoke, Mom screamed in agony.

Dad turned. "Annie, it's time to go!"

"Can't I stay?" I begged. "I want to see Alexi born!" I recognized a rare opportunity. The clock in the room said that midday had passed but the clock was lying. It was about to be dawn.

"No!" Dad exclaimed. "Wait outside! I'll come get you when he's here."

"Come with me, Annie." Adele stood in the doorway, her hand outstretched. "You will have your little brother soon," she promised. "Come, let's give them space." Resigned, I followed her. The door closed behind me. "Everything will be alright," Adele said. "You don't need to worry."

"I'm not worried," I sighed. "I just wanted to be there!"

Adele led me to a waiting alcove lined with chairs. "I need to help other patients," she said. "Wait here until they call you back in." She left quickly after directing me to a chair.

I felt cheated of a much anticipated experience. Gazing around the tidy alcove, I found distraction in the pattern on the floor. The carpet had squares, circles, and triangles... how inclusive. I wished my parents were as inclusive. Straining my ears, I tried to hear something from the nearby room. Stealing myself, I tiptoed back to the door. Putting my ear against it, I listened carefully.

"Breathe Sarah, breathe!" Dad's voice was desperately charismatic.

Dr. Boliers was speaking. "You're doing well but I need more. Push! Push!"

"PUSH!" Dad was loud, his timber ecstatic. "I can see his head, Sarah! I can see his head!"

A bolt of lightning hit me. Alexi was coming!

"PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!"

The magnitude of sound doubled, tripled, and died. My ears throbbed so much from the yelling that I thought I had gone deaf, but then the ringing stopped and the silence was real. Heart haywire, I knocked once upon the door.

The door opened. Dr. Boliers stared down at me. "The first ever caller on Alexi McGallagher," he said. "Come on in!" My eyes went straight to the bed. They were there, all of them, three out of our family of four. Mom's face was drenched in sweat, Dad's soaked in tears.

Dad smiled through them. "Say hi to your little brother, Annie!"

Alexi looked comfortable in his blanket. An impossibly small hand grabbed at its fibers. I recognized my nose and question mark ears. I tried to say something but I couldn't. I could not speak. The words would not come. I could only stare at him, my eyes wide and my mouth speechless.

The next thing I knew my face had turned into a waterfall. I was crying the hardest I had ever cried for joy. The happiness hurt. The love hurt. "Can I hold him?" I managed. "Can I? _Please_?"

Dad nodded. "Yes."

"She can do more than that," piped Dr. Boliers. "She can vaccinate him!"

"Oh! Oh! Can I?" Excitement was filling me, stemming my tears. Dad looked at Mom and she nodded. "Yay!"

Dr. Boliers took Alexi from Mom's arms. "Come along, Annie."

Following him, I watched him lay Alexi on a table. Retrieving a syringe, he began filling it. Waiting, I watched my baby brother. Alexi's eyes were closed, but his tiny toes were taking turns extending forward and back. A small hand drifted to the smile on his lips.

"Look at this," Dr. Boliers said.

My eyes followed his finger. Below Alexi's neck was a faint mark, its contours round and curling. I frowned in confusion. "What's that?"

"I don't know," Dr. Boliers said. "Ask him when he wakes. Anyway, it's time for his vaccine! I will position the needle. You just have to push down here," he said, showing me. I nodded, feeling nervous but knowing I would do anything for my brother. I was a big sister now, after all. Dr. Boliers and I administered the vaccine. Alexi didn't protest but his smile died in a flicker of grace.

Dr. Boliers rewrapped Alexi in his blankets before depositing him into my waiting arms. Sitting down, I stared at my baby brother. I wanted to hold him forever. My vision blurred as the tears welled in my eyes. I didn't bother to wipe them. Gazing down at the tiny person in my arms, I realized that I had never loved anything or anybody so much and with such abandon of all sense and sanity.

I had a baby brother.

I would never be alone again.

I rocked him gently in my arms.

One of my tears fell to Alexi's cheek. It trickled down his face as though it were his own. He continued to slumber peacefully in my arms. "Your Mommy and Daddy work a lot," I whispered. "They work all the time but don't you worry. I will love you. I will be there for you. You will never be alone, Alexi. You will never be alone."

Hours were seconds with Alexi in my arms. Later, Mom came to stand beside me. She put her hand on my shoulder. "He needs to go to the baby station for some checkups," she said. "Come on, let's go." I didn't want to give him up, not even for a few minutes, but Mom persisted and finally I stood up.

I felt dead weight in my arms.

"Alexi?" I touched his cheek where my tear had left a moisture trail.

It was stone cold.

"ALEXI!" I screamed. "WAKE UP!"

Mom tried to take him but I batted her away, holding my brother tight.

I would never let go.

"DOCTOR BOLIERS! IT'S ALEXI!

HE WON'T WAKE UP! HE WON'T WAKE UP!

HELP! HELP! HE WON'T WAKE UP!"

Mom was screaming.

I was screaming louder.

I was screaming a dream.

I was screaming a life.

And I was screaming as I awoke, my sweat on fire, burning a hole in my soul.

# 4. The Appalachian

Rain pummeled Score's windshield as I pulled into the parking lot at Carroll Community College. The sun had yielded in favor of a wet, grey day. Adia had her back turned when I entered the classroom. Taking my seat, I shook the rain water from the bottom of my boot cut jeans.

The seat beside me was empty. My brain fumbled. Where was Ash? What if he had dropped the class? It was still within the drop/add period. That possibility was too painful to fathom.

Adia was less animated than she had been on Monday. Regardless, she was wearing a purple pantsuit today and heels to match. Her chest was covered over now, the black undershirt of her suit rising to her neckline. I stared at the spot where I knew the dreamcatcher to be as though willing it to show itself.

"What's a hallucination?" Adia asked. "Someone tell me." The room was silent. "Thank you, Ms. McGallagher," she continued. "What's a hallucination?"

Startled, I looked up. I hadn't raised my hand. "What?"

Everyone was looking at me. A few girls were giggling, their attempts to conceal the noise the laziest ever. "I asked you, Ms. McGallagher," Adia repeated. "What are psychologists talking about when they refer to hallucinations?"

"Oh," I responded. "That's when you see your hand raise to answer a question when it didn't." The girls stopped giggling and a boy in the back piped a long, drawn out whistle.

"Stay after class, Ms. McGallagher," Adia instructed. Refraining from asking another question, Adia instead had the class copy notes from the blackboard for the remaining two and a half hours.

While copying notes on olfactory hallucinations, I realized that psychology wasn't exciting anymore without Ash. The remainder of term was going to be a long, tiring slur of anti-climax.

"We'll finish talking about hallucinations on Friday," Adia called at last, dismissing the class. I watched as the class filtered out of the door, a few stragglers stopping to ask a question. Soon Adia and I were alone.

She closed the door behind the last to depart. My stomach jumped unpleasantly. Adia went back to her desk and started to shuffle through some papers. "Come here, Ms. McGallagher." Grabbing my backpack, I walked up to her. "Ms. McGallagher," Adia began. I braced myself. "Where is Ash Wildecore?"

I stared at her. Was she serious? Her eyes were. "How should I know?"

Frowning, Adia tossed her hair over her shoulder. "You left my classroom on Monday in the company of Mr. Wildecore," she said, her tone factual. "He hasn't dropped this class. Where is he?"

"I don't know," I replied.

"Has he been asking you personal questions?" Adia asked.

"What do you... no," I stammered.

Adia stared at me. Finally, she removed her gaze and started packing her bag.

"I wanted to thank you, Ms. McGallagher," Adia continued. "For dinner the other night. Todd also enjoyed the visit."

My phone beeped loudly in my pocket. Adia tossed her bag over her shoulder. "Tell him to be here on Friday," she said, and before I could respond she had swept from the room.

I retrieved my phone. Ash's name had appeared in the textbox. Feeling blood rush past my ears, I opened the text. _Meet me outside the LAB_ , the text read. _I'm under the awning._

Nearly skipping with excitement, I ran down the hallway in a blaze of speed. The main atrium was packed. Students were gathered near the exit and waiting for the rain to stop. The rain was light, however, and so I walked outside.

Ash was nowhere in sight. My heart sinking, I stood paralyzed amid the flecks of water that that hit my face as though laughing at me. Feeling like I needed to sit down, I turned to go back inside.

"Over here, Annie!"

I whipped around.

Ash was strolling toward me from the parking lot, his features draped in a smile. I sighed inwardly. He reflected even a dispatched sun. His skin was smoothed honey, his face glazed gold.

"What's up?" Ash said.

"Not much," I said, grinning to recover myself. "Lots of water."

"Go back to my car?" Ash offered. "We could dry off."

"Where did you park?" I asked.

"I'll show you," he replied, signaling for me to follow him.

I matched his pace. "So _where_ are we going?"

"Do you like to hike?" The rain sprinkled Ash's face like cherry blossoms.

"I guess," I replied, gesturing to the sky. "It's raining, you know."

"It's supposed to stop," he countered. "Anyway, hiking in the rain is beautiful. Nature is beautiful in the rain." I agreed that hiking with Ash in the woods and rain would be beautiful, but not because of the woods or the rain.

"Okay, let's go hiking," I said. Though Ash had missed my retort to Adia, he would at least see me hiking in the rain. He would see my inner daredevil one way or another.

"Hooray!" Ash exclaimed, smiling happily. "And I have some food in my car if you're hungry. I've been snacking all morning. I had to occupy myself somehow while I was skipping class!"

"Why'd you skip?" I asked.

"Uh," Ash grimaced.

"Were you sick?"

"Yes," he answered. "Sick of Adia!"

I laughed. "Where's your car?"

"Right there," he said, pointing.

My eyes fell on a toy bus. The lower half was painted yellow and the upper half a bright, dazzling white. My attention, however, was already riveted on the tire hooked to the front. Etched on the tire in weeping watercolor, its feathers and blue beads caught in a frozen breeze, was a dreamcatcher.

" _This_ is your car?" I asked in surprise.

"Yup!" Ash replied. "She's a '68 Westphalia," he added, correctly interpreting my ignorance. "A beauty, isn't she?"

"She's cool," I agreed.

Ash opened the passenger side door and I got in, bouncing up and down momentarily on the squashy seat. "She's a camper too!" Ash had jumped in beside me. "Look back!"

The backseat was an upholstered bench and between it and the front were a table, a stovetop, a sink, and a tiny refrigerator. From what I could gather the toy bus also had a pop up roof bed.

"This is so neat," I breathed. "Does she have a name?"

Ash had already started the engine. Flooring the clutch, he shifted while turning the elephantine steering wheel. Soon we were ripping out of the parking lot. "Yes," he answered. "I call her Magic."

"Like the school bus?"

"That's the one," he replied, smiling to the road.

I gazed at the passing scenery. "Where are we hiking, anyway?"

"The Appalachian," he said. "On the Appalachian Trail. I brought an extra pair of galoshes for you."

Grey skies were turning white in the direction we were driving. I prayed for the clouds to clear. I wanted my first date with Ash to be perfect and perfect meant less rain. Fate found my prayer. The sky was white by the time we parked in a dirt lot.

"Luc–ky!" Ash said. "See, I was right!" I thought my prayer deserved the credit. Sliding the backdoor open, Ash jumped inside. "I've got trail mix, apples, and energy bars." Sitting on the sliding door threshold, we ate our way through three apples and a few energy bars. The trail mix sat between us, its plastic top unzipped.

Questions began buzzing inside me. So many strange things seemed to be happening recently. For one thing, Adia was on Ash's tail for some reason. For another, _the_ dream had returned after months of my routine holding the line. And finally, I was seeing dreamcatchers everywhere.

"Ash?"

"Huh?"

"The dreamcatcher on your front tire," I began slowly. "Did you do that?"

Ash blinked. "No," he said. "I didn't make it."

"But you put it there?" I interjected.

"In a manner of speaking," he said. "It was a peace sign when I bought the bus. It's still a peace sign, in a way. Wayfara, my brother, adapted it into a dreamcatcher." Stretching, Ash stood up. "Ready to hit the trail?"

Five minutes later we were in the woods, having cleared away the food and pulled on our galoshes. Ash's extra pair had been my exact size. The trail was muddy but not completely miserable. Now that the rain had stopped, I could appreciate what Ash had been talking about. After the downpour, the surrounding foliage was refreshed and shiny with moisture.

"It's so untarnished," Ash commented, gazing around.

"It's beautiful," I agreed.

Ash turned suddenly. "When do your parents expect you home?"

I shrugged. "It really doesn't matter."

"Why's that?"

"My parents work all the time," I replied. "They are both psychologists. Mom has a practice and Dad teaches and writes textbooks and stuff. They will be home late tonight like usual."

Ash was watching me closely. "You must spend a lot of time alone."

I shook my head. "I have my dog, Oscar." We walked in silence for several minutes, finding distraction in the surrounding loam. Leaves, their bellies covered in rain, splashed us playfully when we came too close. "Ash?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about the dreamcatchers."

His words came too quickly. "What about them?"

"They're everywhere!" I said. "I see them all the time!"

"Alright," he said cautiously. "Like where?"

"The tire on your bus!" I exclaimed. "On your chest! On Adia's chest!"

"Anywhere else?"

" _Everywhere_ ," I sighed.

Ash smiled. "Are you imagining them?"

"No!" I couldn't believe him. "Yours is real, isn't it?"

He nodded silently.

"You owe me this," I pressured. "Remember last Monday? I asked you about your dreamcatcher and you never answered."

"I _did_ answer," Ash defended. "You just didn't believe me."

"Your answer sucked."

"Perhaps it did," Ash allowed.

"I want to know, Ash," I continued. "I'm seeing them everywhere and they're driving me insane." Ash's face was blank, but I could see his resolve was in ill health, fighting for life. Catching a flash of inspiration, I read the speech bubble above my head. "Ash, I will tell you _my_ secret if you tell me yours."

Ash stopped. "For real?"

"For real," I promised. Ash continued walking. I followed him in a frenzy of excitement. I was smiling to myself. "This is our first date, isn't it?"

"Yes." His response was distracted, the cogs of his brain working around other gears. "Do you," he began and then stopped, hesitating. "Do you believe in the subconscious mind?"

I stared at him.

Ash rephrased the question. "Do you believe such a thing exists?"

"I suppose," I answered. Was he trying to distract me? "This does have something to do with the dreamcatchers, right?"

Ash, ignoring my question, continued. "Do you believe there exist creatures that can walk the subconscious mind?" I gazed at him, drinking in his honeyed skin and those startlingly hazel eyes that sat above the huge smile now splashed across his face. Was he kidding?

"Should I?" I asked.

"Perhaps."

I frowned. "What are you saying?"

"You wanted my secret," he said. "There it is."

"What's your secret?"

" _That_ is my secret," Ash said. "The dreamcatchers."

"What about them?" I asked.

"I was talking about me," he said. "They're me. That's what my dreamcatcher means."

I shook my head. "They're a, you're a –"

"Dreamdrifter!" The word bounced around the surrounding trees before settling amid the rain drenched leaves. Ash's smile had withdrawn. "Dreamdrifter," he repeated softly.

"What's a Dreamdrifter?" I asked.

"Me," Ash explained.

"That doesn't help," I said.

"It should," he countered. "I already told you."

I thought back. "You can walk the subconscious mind?"

He nodded.

"Whose subconscious mind?"

"Anyone's," he answered. " _Everyone's_."

"And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"Yup," he said.

I stared at him. "Why should I?"

"Because it's the truth," he responded. "And I think you already believe it."

I folded my arms. "I've heard crazier stories."

"So you're a believer?"

I bit my lip. "Not entirely."

Ash considered me. "And what would it take for your answer to be _entirely_?"

I spoke the first word to enter my brain. "Experience."

"Experience?" Ash looked surprised.

"I want to see it," I said. "The subconscious mind."

Ash blinked. "That's – that's very..."

"Unexpected?" I offered.

He nodded. "Unexpected."

"Can I see it?" I was serious.

Ash bit his own lip. "I'd have to check with the Holan. If she's fine with it then I don't see –"

"What's a Holan?" I interrupted, unable to stop myself.

Ash still appeared surprised by my desire to play sidekick in the subconscious mind, but regardless he answered my question readily. "Holan is the title given to a chieftain of Dreamdrifters."

"Are there many of you?"

"Oh yes," he said. "You already know another besides me."

"Who's that?" I asked excitedly.

Ash looked incredulous. "Adia, of course!" My brain reeled. That meant that Todd was also a Dreamdrifter. "So that is my secret," he concluded. "Are you satisfied?"

"Not entirely," I repeated.

Taking a step closer, Ash took my hand. He closed his fingers around it, squeezing once. His hand was warm and his eyes warmer as they gazed into my own. "Are you _entirely_ satisfied now?"

"I... yes," I breathed.

Ash squeezed my hand again. "Do you want to meet them?"

"Who?" I gasped.

The hazel of his eyes smiled. "The other Dreamdrifters."

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "Yes! Can I?"

"Tomorrow we'll get on that," Ash said, turning around on the path. His hand was still in mine. "But I should get you home. Not to mention..."

"Not to mention what?" I asked.

"You have to deliver your half of the bargain," Ash said. "I told you my secret and now you must tell me yours. It's a nice walk back and you won't have any interruptions from me."

Knowing there was no escape, I did the only thing that scared me more than telling Ash about _the_ dream. Swiftly, before he had time to realize what I was doing, I lifted my weight onto my toes and kissed him.

"You know," he said, blushing. "You _still_ have to tell me."

"I know," I admitted. And then I told him about Alexi.

# 5. The Holan

I examined my reflection. The mirror was small, a handheld that had belonged to my grandmother. My acne was in check and the stringy red blouse I had chosen matched the tint in my hair. Overall I wasn't a complete failure.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Placing the mirror on my desk, I walked downstairs. I appreciated that Ash hadn't continued knocking but was waiting patiently. Small things could be all things. I opened the front door.

Ash stood there, an enormous grin stretching his face. He was holding something huge and round hidden in a plastic bag. "Good morning," he said. "I have a present for you!"

"Yay!" I exclaimed. "What is it?"

"Guess!"

I frowned in mock concentration. "A steering wheel?"

"Not quite." Ash smiled his encouragement. "Try again."

"A trashcan lid?"

He looked incredulous. "This is like super, _super_ obvious."

"A huge Frisbee," I said, waving my hands in surrender. Ash gently shook the package and feathers on thin leather ropes descended from its bottom, dangling a few feet above the floor. "Oh!"

"I thought this might help," Ash said. In one sweep he discarded the plastic bag. From beneath it appeared the largest, most beautiful dreamcatcher I had ever seen. Blue beads adorned its webbed center and long feathers hung around them. More feathers fell from the bottom, gracing their magnificent host.

"It's so beautiful!" I breathed. "And so beautiful of you!"

"My brother deserves the credit," Ash responded. "He made it."

"When did he make it?" I asked. "I hope not just last –"

"Yup!" Ash interjected. "Just last night!"

I felt embarrassed. "He shouldn't have."

"He _did_ ," Ash said firmly. "At my request. You can't fear sleep, Annie."

"I have my routine," I said defensively. "I told you yesterday."

Ash averted his eyes. "Your routine hasn't been working."

"Maybe not," I allowed.

Silence spoke for a second.

Ash held the dreamcatcher aloft. "Can I hang it?"

"Sure," I said. "Follow me." Oh boy – Ash was going to see my room. I had agreed to his offer too quickly, before I had realized where we'd be heading. Sucking it up, I led him upstairs.

"Holy cracker!" Ash's exclamation rang around the room. I was reminded of Todd's recent entrance.

"I know," I said, hanging my head.

"Sure you need anything else in here?" Ash asked.

"Very funny."

"I thought so," he said. "Alright, where to?" I gazed around, searching for an open piece of wall. "How about here?" Ash pointed to where I could just see a small nail protruding from the ceiling.

"Yeah," I replied. "That works."

Despite being a head taller than me, Ash still needed to stand on my couch in order to fasten the dreamcatcher to the nail. The operation took only seconds. We stood back to admire it.

"Awesome," I breathed. "Best addition this room's seen lately."

"It's pretty cool," Ash agreed.

"Come downstairs," I said, turning to the door. "You can meet my dog."

Oscar was in the kitchen. Taking him by the collar, I led them both outside. Ash picked up Oscar's favorite ball and threw it far, watching as my retriever tore after it in a frenzy of excitement. Walking to Ash, I linked my hand in his with a timid squeeze. He squeezed back and smiled, his honeyed skin reflecting gold.

"Ready for more Dreamdrifters?" Ash asked.

"Absolutely," I said. "Let's go!" Running upstairs, I grabbed my keys and my phone. Returning to the cave, I saw Ash perusing the bookshelf by the pellet stove.

"Wow," Ash breathed, pulling a book from the shelf. "Check this out!"

"What is it?"

" _Die Traumdeutung_."

"What's Die –" I began.

" _The Interpretation of Dreams_ ," he interrupted. "Freud's book and an original in German too." Ash flipped through its pages. "Where did you find this?"

"I have no idea," I replied. "Dad collects old books. Anyway, was Freud right?"

Ash grinned. "As right as any human can be."

"Nicely put," I said. "Ready to go?"

Magic was parked beside Score. Ash's toy bus looked happy in the sun, her yellow and white dazzling in the bright light. Hopping in beside Ash, I was suddenly struck with a question. "Was Freud a Dreamdrifter?"

Ash maneuvered into first. "It's hard to tell," he said. "But I don't think so."

"Why not?" I followed up.

Ash thought for a moment. "Sigmund was definitely onto us but some of his theories are just wrong." Flooring the clutch, Ash turned at the top of my driveway. "Some of our historians think he was a Dreamdrifter on the defect. We're not supposed to expose ourselves."

"Says who?" I asked.

"Everyone!" Ash exclaimed. "That's like the one law unifying the Holurns."

"What are Holurns?"

"Holurns are Dreamdrifter tribes," Ash answered. "They're mostly regional but some are ethnic."

I was intrigued. "Are there many of them?"

"Oh yes," he said. "Europe has hundreds and Asia has thousands. The distribution is based somewhat on the size of the local human population. Secrecy is our only common law."

"Why do Dreamdrifters have to live in secret?"

Ash shook his head incredulously. "We Dreamdrifters have a job to do. We don't walk around the subconscious to laugh and point. We have a purpose. Working in secret allows us to fulfill our purpose undisturbed."

"What is your purpose?" I asked.

His words were matter-of-fact. "We help people."

I was taken aback by the simplicity of his answer. "You help people?"

"Yes."

"How?" I asked.

His cheeks twitched. "How would you expect?"

"By infiltrating their subconscious?"

Ash laughed. The sound was like a stream of tickles down my body. "What are we, secret agents? You're right, I guess. We _enter_ their subconscious minds."

"At night?" I asked.

"Not necessarily," Ash replied. "A patient doesn't need to be unconscious for a Dreamdrifter to enter his subconscious. Any Dreamdrifter worth his pepper can enter anyone's subconscious anytime and anywhere."

"Can you do that?"

He paused. "Yes."

"Can Adia?"

"Adia," he began slowly. "Adia is _very_ good at it."

I smiled, provoking him. "Better than you?"

"Without a doubt," he said, surprising me. "Adia is a –"

"Will she be where we're going?" I interrupted.

Ash shook his head. "I don't think so. Speaking of which, we're almost there."

We had passed Westminster and were now approaching the southern border of Carroll County. The scenery was country although farmland had partially surrendered to forest.

" _Everest_ ," Ash said finally, pointing.

"Everest?"

"Home," he clarified.

I could see it now, a white building rising from the trees. The enormous, triple floored house sat centered on an acre of cleared lawn surrounded by trees. A large deck encircled its base while the third story windows jutted from black shingles. A circular tower projected above the roof, its sides baring windows. Everest made sense now.

" _This_ is your home?"

"Yup," Ash replied happily. "And we share it." Parking Magic against the deck, Ash got out and took a moment to stretch in the sunlight while I took a moment to watch him. An early-teenaged boy was sitting in a chair on the deck. A pitcher of lemonade sat beside his glass on the table next to him. He smiled as we approached. "My little brother," Ash introduced.

Wayfara Wildecore was without a doubt his brother's brother. His cheeks were shallower and his lips weren't as full, but those same hazel eyes gazed at me and that same dirty blonde hair splashed onto his shoulders, although it was much longer than Ash's.

"I love my dreamcatcher," I said. "Thank you."

"It's already hanging in her room," Ash cut in. "Thanks to someone."

"Great!" Wayfara exclaimed. "I made it, Ash hung it, and now those nightmares are gone forever. Let's celebrate with a round of lemonade!"

"Maybe later little bro," Ash said, walking to the door. "Annie should meet the others first." Following Ash, I suddenly turned back to Wayfara. "Thanks again for the dreamcatcher!"

Wayfara waved my thanks away. "No worries!"

Ash stopped at the door, his hand resting on the handle. "I forgot something."

"Where'd you leave it? I asked. "In my bedroom or –"

"Not like that," Ash interrupted.

"Yo!" Wayfara called. "Is there a loose herd of wombats in there? What're you doing?"

Ash turned to his brother. "I forgot to tell her about the Utopians."

Wayfara's expression was delightfully incredulous. "How could you forget?"

Ash scowled. "Not helping."

"I _will_ help," Wayfara offered, taking up the challenge. "Annie, you're about to enter the Twilight Zone." He waved us inside. "You're good to go!"

"Thanks for nothing," Ash said, turning back to me. "Some..." He stopped. "Some Dreamdrifters," he began again. "Look _strange_."

"How strange?" I asked.

"Just take her inside!" Wayfara laughed. "She'll adjust to the zombies soon enough!"

Ash looked furious. I touched his hand to distract him. "They're not really zombies, are they?"

"No, they're not," Ash said.

"Maybe not!" Wayfara piped, provoking his brother. "But they are mutants!"

Swiftly, I took Ash's hand. "He's right. Let's just go inside."

"You sure?" Ash asked.

I nodded. "Yes."

The door opened into a large kitchen. Marble countertops shined in the direct sunlight of windows everywhere. A huge island contained a sink and a dishwasher. Cupboards lined every inch of space while a stained glass chandelier hung over everything. Ash listened carefully.

"Are they here?" I asked, my nerves eating me.

"They're in the living room," he said, leading me. The next room was a library.

I stared around at the masses of books. "This is fantastic."

Taking my hand, Ash squeezed it gently as his lips brushed my ear softly. "You haven't seen anything yet," he whispered. His smile widened against my ear. "Wait until you see _them_."

"Should I be nervous?" I squeaked.

Ash retreated until I felt the warmth of hazel eyes. "They're nothing you haven't seen before, or –" he amended, smiling to the ceiling. " _Imagined_ before."

"Show me," I whispered.

Tightening his grip on my hand, Ash led me forward. We finished the length of the library and then entered the living room.

And then I saw them.

There were two of them.

And both were sitting on separate couches.

I doubted whether both could have fit on one. I tried to register more but couldn't. All else existed on the periphery of the shock, on the periphery of my numb consciousness. It was too much. _They_ were too much. I could only stare, flabbergasted.

"She alright, Ash?" One asked.

"Looks pale to me," said the other.

"Wi – win," I stammered, my tongue dead in my mouth. " _Wings_!"

"Found a smart one, Ash," continued the first. "I like her already!"

Sitting only feet away were two people, but they didn't look like normal people. They had wings! Ash's voice was gentle. "Annie, I'd like you to meet Julian and Cassandra."

"Cassie!" Sitting with crossed legs, she looked dainty even while her wings took up most of the couch. Her curly black hair brought forth vanilla eyes. She arched her back and reshuffled her wings, losing a feather in the process. "I'm Cassie and pleased to meet you."

"Don't mind Cassandra," laughed the male. "Call her whatever you want. I call her Huggles!" Julian dodged as Cassie threw him a kick, her wings spreading in mock anger. "Just kidding, Huggles!"

Julian's sculpted body was covered in artistically rendered dreamcatchers from the top of his shaved head to the palms of his hands. His deep v-neck revealed the finest, a dreamcatcher whose shadow reflected a crescent moon. He smiled kindly, the piercings on his lip rising like roller coaster cars.

"Me and Julian need some air," Cassie announced. Standing, she left the room. Julian quickly followed, reshuffling his grey wings as he went.

Ash was watching me. "How do you feel?"

My eyes found Cassie's feather on the carpet. "I feel like I've just seen two people with wings," I replied. "What are they?"

"Utopians," he answered.

I shook my head. "What?"

"They're –" Ash began, searching for an explanation. " _Super_ Dreamdrifters."

"You're kidding."

"I'm not," he responded. "But their wings are more symbolic than anything."

"Symbolic of what?" I asked.

"Attainment," Ash sighed. "Wings are a status symbol in a Holurn. The Utopians are held in higher regard than we ordinary Dreamdrifters even though we Drifters are already super human!"

"When Cassie said they needed air," I began. "Did she mean they were going to...?" I mimed flapping.

Ash laughed. "I think she meant oxygen and lemonade," he said. "Anyway, should we go upstairs?"

The staircase was winding and elegant. Reaching the top, we found an upstairs hallway. "Want to see Wayfara's room?" Ash asked. "It'll make you feel better about yours." He was right about that. Wayfara's room was a disaster scene. The only part of the room that didn't appear tarred and feathered was a windowsill that housed potted plants.

"At least the plants are upright," I commented, smiling.

Ash opened the door opposite Wayfara's. The room beyond was a narrow hallway. A spiral staircase erupted upward at the end of the hall, its wrought iron caught in the light of half a dozen circular windows.

"My grandfather built this house when he was Holan," Ash explained, leading me down the hall. "He designed the tower room as the Holan's quarters." Pausing, Ash copped an ear. "Can you hear them?" Two people were talking upstairs. One voice belonged to a woman and the other a man. Had Julian and Cassie flown up?

"Sis!" Ash's voice carried up the stairs. "We have a visitor!"

"I know!" The reply from above was impatient. "He's already up here, Ash!"

"We have another visitor!" Ash corrected. "Annie!"

A second passed. "Come up!"

Ash gestured to the spiral staircase. "The Holan."

The tower room was circular, its walls portioned between bookshelves and windows. An oaken desk and a sofa were the central pieces of furniture. Her steps swift, a woman appeared from around the desk. Though older than either of her brothers, she shared their eyes and hair. Dolphins chased each other into a dreamcatcher above her breasts. The feathers had been swapped for starfish.

"Holan Wildecore," she said, speaking quickly. "Call me Coraline. Ash has been talking about you a lot recently!" There was no time to register that good news. My eyes had found the man sitting in front of the desk. It was Lin Divion.

"Annie!" Divion exclaimed. "How are your parents?"

"Fine," I managed.

Divion's curly brown hair was frizzy in the sunlight. "Dinner was delicious the other night," he said. "Thank you!" He turned to Coraline. "I should be leaving, Holan." Finding his feet, Divion offered hasty goodbyes. He descended the spiral staircase and was gone.

Ash turned to his sister. "We have a purpose in coming," he said. "Annie wishes to accompany me into the subconscious mind. She desires your endorsement."

Coraline gazed into my eyes. "Is that true?"

"Yes," I said. "May I?"

The Holan smiled. "She's already seen the others, hasn't she?"

"Yup," Ash said.

Suddenly, silvery grey wings sprang from Coraline's shoulders, filling the room behind her. The Holan flapped, fanning Ash and I smoothly. After a few seconds cool breeze, Coraline reshuffled her wings and folded them behind her. "You will be her guide, Ash?"

Ash was serious. "Yes, I will."

"You have my permission," granted the Holan. She turned to me. "You do exactly as he instructs," she said. "We know best in the subconscious mind." Walking to an open window, Coraline squinted against the sun. Suddenly, she leapt into open space. I screamed but almost immediately felt silly. The Holan's wings stretched in the summer air and she flew gracefully out of sight.

Sighing, Ash lowered himself onto the window frame. Beckoning for me to join him, he gestured to his lap. I didn't need a second invitation. Relaxing onto him, I realized that Ash's muscular body was rough to lie on. After some adjusting, however, I was able to find a comfortable angle.

"Look!" Ash said, pointing to a cloud. "A dreamcatcher!" The circular cloud was trailing feathers.

"A Utopian!" I exclaimed, pointing to another.

"That's a stretch," he commented. "It's only got one wing!"

I smiled easily. "The rest of him was good though."

"You try flying with one wing."

I shook my head. "So our psych professor is also a Dreamdrifter, huh?"

"Sure is," Ash responded. "And my tutor."

"Your tutor?" I repeated in surprise. "For psychology?"

"Not exactly," Ash said, sounding hesitant. "I've been trying to become something for a long time. Something specific."

My curiosity was aroused. "What?"

He sounded embarrassed. "A Utopian."

"Why?" I asked.

"Why!" Ash repeated incredulously. "For the reasons I already told you!"

I tried to remember. "Status?"

"That's part of it," Ash admitted defensively. "But that's not the main reason. I really want to..." He trailed off.

"What?" I coaxed.

"Fly," Ash sighed. "I want to fly. It's my dream to fly."

Thinking about it made me smile. "How do you become Utopian?"

"There are two ways," Ash said. "Either you must realize your own subconscious or someone else's. Afterwards you instantly transform."

"I'm confused," I admitted. "You've already entered subconscious minds."

"That's true," Ash agreed. "But entering and realizing are two separate things. Entering is temporary and partial, realizing is permanent and holistic. To realize someone's subconscious is to understand the entirety of their life's conflicts. I have _entered_ many subconscious minds but I haven't _realized_ a single one."

"Which is harder," I asked. "Realizing someone else's or your own?"

"Your own," Ash answered. "It's a very, _very_ hard thing to achieve. Not only that, but I _must_ achieve it."

"Why must you?" I asked.

His reply was simple. "I'm a Wildecore. We're the royal family of the Holurn. If something happens to Coraline then I will ascend to Holan. And the Holan is _always_ a Utopian. A Dreamdrifter Holan is unheard of. It would be a disgrace."

I was still thinking about the Utopians. "Coraline's wings were invisible," I commented. "How's that possible?"

"Utopians can become invisible," he explained. "That's a recent development, actually. We've only had invisibility for six years."

"Is Adia a Utopian?" I asked.

"Yes," he responded. "She is our most powerful Utopian."

"How about Divion?"

Ash waved him away. "Divion is hardly a competent Dreamdrifter let alone a Utopian."

"So what's Adia like as a tutor?" I asked.

"Stressful," Ash sighed. "She's good though. She really pushes me and I don't blame her. My parents and Coraline all became Utopian during their teens. Wayfara has an excuse, he's only twelve. I'm nineteen..."

I tried to distract him. "Can a human become a Dreamdrifter?"

He nodded. "Dreamdrifting is about consciousness, whether it's higher or lower, sub or super. It's also about limitations and knowing your own," he continued. "Everyone is limited. You're limited because you're not a Dreamdrifter, I'm limited because I'm not a Utopian, and even the Utopians are limited because there are still higher levels –"

"Of consciousness?" I interrupted.

"Yes."

I smiled. "That's amazing."

He smiled back. "The subconscious is more amazing. Should we go there?"

"With you?" My smile widened. "Definitely!"

"Tomorrow after class?"

I raised my eyebrows. "You'll actually be in class?"

"For you?" His smile widened. "Definitely!"

# 6. The Creed

"Exam on Monday," Adia announced in Friday's class. "There will be forty multiple choice and true and false questions. Know your Freud, know your Breuer, know your Jung," she added briskly. "And study the definitions I handed out from the DSM-IV. They _will_ be on the exam."

"I'm so excited!" I said, ignoring Adia. "I'm going Dreamdrifting today! I can hardly breathe!"

Ash shushed me. "Keep your voice down."

"Mr. Wildecore," Adia inserted. "I hope you're paying attention. You've already missed a day of class and the material we cover today _will_ be on the exam." Regardless of Adia, I was beginning to feel a thrill beating inside of me. I was going Dreamdrifting today! Some students would go bowling or horseback riding later, but not Annie. Annie was going Dreamdrifting. I was going Dreamdrifting.

Adia called the end of class. Students started packing their notebooks and binders. "Remember to study the Neo-Freudians," Adia reminded the class loudly. "Especially Karen Horney!"

Ash and I departed together. Chancing a backward glance down the hall, I saw Adia walking resolutely in the opposite direction, her arms full of folders and her heels clopping loudly on the floor.

And then she vanished.

I grasped Ash's hand. "She went invisible! Right in the hall!"

Ash sighed. "She can and she does."

"Does she have any other powers?" I asked, breathless.

He nodded. "Utopians in general have an aptitude for prophecy. Adia has an extremely acute ability. It's stunning, really."

Skylights brightened the stairs as we descended them and went outside. Birds flew as clouds waved. It was a beautiful day and an even more beautiful day for Dreamdrifting. Thinking my questions were becoming bothersome, I refrained from asking another until we were in Magic and speeding toward Everest.

"How can I enter the subconscious mind," I began slowly. "When I'm not a Dreamdrifter?"

Ash winked cheekily as he turned the enormous wheel. "With my help! Humans can't enter the subconscious mind without a Dreamdrifter or a Utopian assisting them. The subconscious is unlocked and only unlocked by a Dreamdrifter."

"I'm so excited!" I exclaimed.

"It's not all fun and games," Ash said. "Dreamdrifting is serious. We will be entering a real person's subconscious mind. We will be witnessing someone emotionally naked. Ethics and their practice are part of being a Dreamdrifter. The subconscious is a delicate place."

Everest was fast approaching. Soon we were parking Magic against the deck. Moving at an even pace, we walked across the deck and into the house. It required all of my self control to not go dashing ahead to search for the dream portal.

"Where is everyone?" I asked.

Ash shrugged, unperturbed. "People come and go as they please. I've long since given up keeping track of them."

While passing through the kitchen and into the library, a question occurred to me. "How do Dreamdrifters make money?"

"We don't make money," Ash said. "That's why so many Dreamdrifters live communally like we do. Me, sis, Wayfara, Julian, and Cassie all live here at Everest and there used to be even more. Divion, Adia, and her brother Todd also once lived here. It's true that living together helps to unify the Holurn, but it's also true that we can't afford to live separately without holding a day job like Adia and Divion."

"So there's no salary?" I asked in surprise. "No benefits?"

Ash laughed. "Dreamdrifting is thankless, Annie, remember that. The International Bureau of Dreamdrifters does offer small salaries, but they will only employ Utopians with proven ability and many years of experience. Luckily, Julian and Cassie are both on the payroll. They're the ones keeping the creditors away from Everest."

Sunlight illuminated the hallway beneath Coraline's study. The door was open. We traveled the length of the hall, stopping only at the end where the spiral staircase wound upward.

"Anyone home?" Ash called.

"Who goes there?" Wayfara's voice replied.

"Who do you think, nitwit?" Ash hailed.

Wayfara laughed. "And it's about time!"

Gesturing to the staircase, Ash allowed me to ascend first. Wayfara was sitting in the high-backed leather chair, his feet luxuriously propped on the Holan's desk. The youngest Wildecore spread his arms in an exuberant welcome.

"What are you doing here?" Ash asked.

Wayfara raised his eyebrows. "Waiting for you!"

Ash was already walking to the desk. In one quick motion, he spun the chair around hard. Wayfara's feet were dislodged from the desk as their owner went flying from the chair, landing with a thud on the floor.

Ash's tone was impatient. "Where are her instructions?"

Rubbing his head, Wayfara smiled up at me. "How's that dreamcatcher working, Annie?"

"No nightmares since it arrived," I said, smiling. "Fingers crossed!"

Wayfara beamed. "Excellent!"

Ash seated himself in the chair recently unoccupied by Wayfara. Gathering some notes from the desk, he scanned them quickly. "Any day now," he said. "You're free to share her instructions."

Ignoring Ash, Wayfara addressed me. "First time Dreamdrifting, huh?"

I took a seat in front of the desk. "Yes, it is."

"Are you excited?" Wayfara asked.

I nodded fervently. "Very."

"You should be," said Wayfara. "I remember my first foray in the subconscious. It was... unbelievable."

"That crazy?" I asked excitedly.

"That crazy," he reassured. "It was so trippy!"

"It's not supposed to be _trippy_ ," Ash interjected, frowning from the desk. "It's supposed to be helpful! Our purpose is to enter the subconscious and attempt to put wrongs right. We're there to lift people higher. Not _get_ high, Wayfara!"

"Right, of course," Wayfara said.

"Speaking of which," Ash continued. "Coraline's instructions?"

"She didn't say much," Wayfara admitted. "Josephine is your patient and Annie should sign the Creed."

"She wants Annie to sign the Creed?" Ash sounded surprised. "That's unusual for a guided endeavor."

Wayfara shrugged. "Holan knows best," he said, his sarcasm obvious. "It's on the desk."

"Take this," Ash instructed, handing me a document from the desk. "Coraline wants you to read it before we submerge, although I don't see why she's bothering."

I read the document.

_Dreamdrifters' Creed  
_

I am an usher of peace

I am a power for good

I am the secret unspoken

I am our secret untold

_I am a torch in darkness  
_

Ash looked apologetic as I handed it back. "Holurns have different Creeds," Ash explained, taking the document. "And they vary greatly."

"Except for the secrecy part," Wayfara remarked dryly.

I frowned. "It said that twice, didn't it?"

Ash shook his head. " _I am the secret unspoken_ means you're not supposed to blab about what you see in someone's subconsciousness. _I am our secret untold_ is about keeping Dreamdrifters secret."

"Who wrote it?" I asked.

"Grandfather Wilhelm," Wayfara answered. "And our grandmother, Regina. The Holan reserves the right to amend the Creed."

"Coraline," I thought aloud. "Has she amended it?"

Ash's expression was unsure. "I don't think so."

"She better not!" Wayfara growled. "Not without our approval! Anyway, Dad was going to amend it when he became Holan, but then our parents –"

"Josephine!" Ash interrupted. "It's Josephine, right?"

Wayfara nodded. "That's her."

Reaching down, Ash opened a drawer in the desk. He retrieved a small chest made of a light colored wood. It looked like a miniature treasure chest. Handling it gently, Ash placed it on the desk.

"What's that?" I asked.

"The Dreamchest." Ash replied. "Come take a look."

I walked around the desk to examine the chest more closely. Though its sides were curiously plain, a mysterious and ornately carved dreamcatcher was etched into the rolling top.

Skipping ceremony, Ash opened the chest. I was expecting something truly spectacular inside. However, the chest was filled with nothing besides rows and rows of tiny glass vials, each brimming with an unknown liquid.

"She should organize this better," Ash muttered, examining a document before perusing the chest. I could easily guess the subject of his thoughts. "The names on these vials are almost impossible to read."

"I don't understand," I said. "Who are the vials for?"

"You," Wayfara answered. "And you only. We don't need submersion potions to go under."

"Found her!" Ash called, holding the vial high in victory. "You're mine, Josephine!"

"What's her diag, anyway?" Wayfara asked.

"Dysmorphic syndrome," Ash said.

I scratched my head. "So each vial leads to someone's..."

"Subconscious," Wayfara nodded. "Each and every one."

I was starting to feel overwhelmed. "What's dysmorphic syndrome?"

"Josephine's diagnosis," Wayfara replied unhelpfully. "This might sound odd, but sometimes I do better when I don't know a patient's history."

Ash nodded in agreement. "He has a point."

"So if you guys don't enter with vials," I began. "How do you enter?"

Ash's enormous smile tanned my consciousness. "And I thought you'd never ask," he said, gesturing to the dreamcatcher curling down from his neck.

"Ah," I said, understanding. "Anything else I should know?"

Wayfara looked at his brother. "Does she know what to expect?"

Anxiety crept over me. "Why? What should I know?"

"The subconscious," Ash began slowly. "Can be..." He trailed off, searching for the right word.

" _Disconcerting_ ," Wayfara rescued.

Ash nodded quickly. "Disconcerting."

"How?" I asked.

"The subconscious mind is like a child," Wayfara said. "You can't reason with it or force it to comply. You can't tell it what to do. There is only one way to control it. You must _show_ it the way."

"He's right," Ash reinforced. "And you can't touch the subconscious either."

I frowned. "What do you mean by _touch_ it?"

"You'll see soon enough," Wayfara commented.

Ash smiled encouragingly. "Ready to go?"

Excitement had been racing through me all day, exploding like firecrackers. After hearing their discourse on the subconscious mind, however, my nerves were also exploding.

"No worries, Annie," Wayfara said, his eyes upon me. "Ash, surprisingly, is a very capable Dreamdrifter. He'll keep you safe."

"I will," Ash said, nodding a thank you to his brother. "Of course I will."

Taking a deep breath, I stood up. "I'm ready."

Wayfara went to the spiral staircase. "Remember, Annie, _never_ touch it," he said. "Good luck!" And he was gone, sliding down the staircase with his hands suspending his body from the rails.

Coming from around the desk, Ash guided me to the sofa. His voice was a whisper. "We will also be going downstairs."

"I'm ready," I responded, trying to believe it.

We lay down amid the light of the surrounding windows. "I like this tower room," I said, trying to distract my nerves. "It's quiet."

Finding my hand, Ash squeezed it before releasing me. My hand, however, wasn't empty. The vial remained on my palm. Bringing it to my eyes, I read the name written in the tiniest of script: _Josephine_.

"Take it," Ash said. "I will meet you there."

Trembling, I opened the vial and drank it whole.

# 7. Josephine

The silence was heavier than sound.

I was still standing. That was good. Regardless, I kept my eyes shut tight. Reaching down, I felt the same blue jeans I had pulled on that morning; felt the same useless change pocket that I had never used and never would use.

Despite my clothes, I felt naked.

"Annie?" His voice soothed. "Are you alright?"

I focused closed eyes. "Ash?"

"It's me," he said. "We are here. We have arrived."

"We're in her subconscious?"

"Yes," Ash said. "You can open your eyes now."

I kept them closed. "Is it scary?"

"No," Ash breathed. "It's beautiful."

"Really?" I asked. "You promise?"

"Yes." His words were a trickling laugh. "A thousand times yes!"

I opened my eyes. I gasped, the surprise catching in my throat. We were surrounded by plants. Every growth imaginable from tiny sprout to enormous tree encircled our position. The air in my lungs was wonderfully fresh. Rising above us, a gargantuan metal and glass dome covered everything in sight.

It was a plant menagerie.

"See," Ash pointed out. "It's so –"

"Beautiful," I breathed.

Turning to him, I saw that his appearance had changed. Ash's v-neck was hugging his muscular arms and chest, but his perfect figure wasn't catching my attention this time. The dreamcatcher on his chest was no longer motionless. It had come alive. Twirling crazily, it was spinning energetically around and around and over and up. It whirled an inky dance of swirling black.

Ash smiled at my goggling eyes. "Neat, isn't it?"

"Very," I agreed. "Does this happen to all Dreamdrif –"

"Shh!" Ash shushed, silencing me. "Don't say that word! That's how we go home, by saying it! Use 'Drifter' instead."

"Whoops," I said sheepishly. "Does that happen to all Drifters down here?"

"Oh yeah," Ash replied. "Julian is especially amazing to watch in the subconscious. His whole body comes to life."

I gazed around. "So this is the subconscious mind?"

"This is Josephine's subconscious mind," Ash corrected. "Everyone's is different. You never know what to expect."

"Should we look around?" I suggested.

Taking my hand, Ash squeezed. "Lead the way."

A dirt pathway led forward. I moved gently, feeling as though the very ground beneath my feet was Josephine. The plants changed as we traveled. Titanic lavenders turned to tulip gardens on both sides of the path, and in the distance I glimpsed elephantine trees.

Without warning, Ash planted a kiss on my cheek. I burned a bright, glowing red. My blushing didn't recede when he wrapped his hand around my waist, either. Ash smiled hugely. "This is a romantic subconscious."

"Should we do this here?" I asked self-consciously.

"Naturally," he said.

Before I could respond, Ash had whisked me into the air. Holding me tight to his strong chest, he brought warm lips to mine. Wrapping my legs around him so as not to fall, I kissed him back, hugging him tightly as I did. Ash's eyes were dancing amid hazel dresses. It was over far too soon. He lowered me to the ground before picking a berry from a nearby bush. "Blackberry?"

"No thanks," I breathed. "I'm full."

"I'm impressed," Ash commented. "You didn't ask whether we _should_ be eating the fruits of someone's subconscious. You're getting comfortable down here." Holding the berry aloft, he examined it closely. "This is probably within ten minutes of her prime."

"You know berries that well?"

"I know nothing about berries," he admitted. "But I know the subconscious mind. It's a tricky place," he added. "These berries might be poisoned. Oh well, there's only one way to find out!" And he popped the berry into his mouth.

" _No_!" I shouted, grabbing at him. Ash fell through my arms and hit the dirt, rolling as he clutched his throat. His mouth was foaming. I screamed. "Help! Help! Somebody, help!" I clutched at Ash's shirt, terror roaring inside of me. And then it was over. Ash rolled on the ground, roaring with laughter. Fury filled me. "That wasn't funny!"

"I – I don't know," he gasped. "I thought it was a good one!"

"You're wrong," I spat angrily. "Don't do that again!"

Standing quickly, Ash threw me a salute. "Yes ma'am!"

I smiled helplessly. "You're a goof."

"Better a goof than aloof," he remarked.

"You're supposed to be my leader down here," I accused.

"I will be!" Ash said, nodding fervently. "Follow your leader!" He thrust off through the plant growth. I hurried to follow.

"So what are we looking for, anyway?" I asked.

"An exit," Ash replied. "Out of this green house place."

I frowned. "Are you sure there is one?"

"It's a guess," he said. "But I think so."

"Suppose we need help," I asked. "Will other Drifters come?"

"We _won't_ need help," Ash said, his tone heavy with finality. "See," he said, pointing. "The exit!"

The remaining mile was stunning. It was lined with rosebushes that sprouted around the path, their tops blossoming with red giggles. The exit was a large, iron gate, its exterior covered in green, peeling paint. Once outside, we could see gardens abounding in every direction. Ash and I continued forward with our hands intertwined. Maple trees extended on our right as a grove of pear trees passed on the left. A mass of blue gathered in the distance.

"It's a lake," Ash said.

I grinned appreciatively. "This place is like Versailles."

"Like Versailles," Ash agreed. "But bigger. Much bigger."

"I hope we find what we're looking for," I said. "What are we looking for now?"

Ash raised his eyebrows. "Isn't that obvious?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

"Josephine, of course."

" _Josephine_ ," I repeated. "Is she here?"

"Oh yes," he answered. "She's here."

Confusion was pummeling me. "How do you know?"

"We Drifters can sense suffering," Ash explained. "It's like a frequency we're always dialed into. In the subconscious mind, we follow the frequency and that's how we find them. In fact," he continued, changing direction. "I think she's this way."

"I'll take your word for it," I said.

Ash had heard the anxiety in my voice. "There's nothing to be afraid of down here, Annie," he reassured. "We're the ones trespassing, not Josephine." While we passed through an apple orchard, I began to feel hungry. I reached for an apple but Ash stayed my hand.

"What?" I asked.

"Josephine."

My eyes followed his. And then I saw her. She was standing a distance away, motionless in a row of apple trees. Her back was facing us as her dark hair fell over her shoulder, hiding her face from view.

"What's she doing there?" I whispered.

Ash's eyes were narrowed. "I don't know," he admitted. "But let's find out."

I followed him as he approached her. Josephine, it appeared, was wearing a colorful shirt of some kind. Her pants were the same color. Only twenty feet away now, she still had her back turned. As we drew closer, however, I realized what she was wearing. I stopped dead, my heart thudding wildly in my chest. Ash was ready. As I opened my mouth to scream he covered it quickly, silencing me.

"Don't," he said quietly. "It will frighten her." I screamed into his hand anyway. "It's just Josephine," he said calmly. "It's just Josephine..."

"Let me go!" My horrified words were muffled by his hand.

"I am!" Ash said, releasing me slowly. "Just please don't scream! It hurts them."

I silenced my scream somehow. The feat required all of my self control and more, but I achieved it regardless. In any case, upon scanning Josephine more closely I had realized what she was wearing: _nothing_.

Josephine had no skin. Instead, scales covered her entire body. Her hands ended in sharp, deadly claws that erupted from where fingers should have been. Regardless, she had the unmistakable form of a human woman. I had yet to glimpse her face.

I turned to Ash but then stopped. I had seen movement on the periphery of my vision, movement that quelled my bone marrow. Josephine was turning. Suddenly, we stood face to face. Ash wasn't fast enough this time. I screamed louder than I had ever screamed in my life.

"It's ok, Annie!" Ash yelled. "That's not her!" Struck with fear, I buried my head in Ash's chest. On the periphery of my vision, I saw Josephine standing motionless. She hadn't moved. Regardless, I dared not focus my eyes on her.

"She's a monster," I moaned.

Ash shook his head. "She's not a monster. That's not her."

"You said it was," I accused. "You said it _was_ her."

"It is and isn't," Ash admitted.

Bravely, I allowed my eyes to focus on her face. I had to shut them almost immediately. Josephine's face was a mutilated mess of skin and scales. Her nose had been sawn off as though with an electric tool, leaving a bloody hole. One of her ears dangled from her head, caught on a piece of skin. Her eyes were the worst part. Both were shrunken and suspended in the center of each socket with ropes of scaly skin.

"What is it?" I clutched at his arm. "What is _that_?"

Ash sighed. "Her subconscious manifestation of herself."

"Her what?"

"Josephine doesn't look like this in the conscious world," Ash explained. "This is the reflection of her emotional self, her perceived self."

I was still horrified. "Why would anyone choose to look like that?"

"She didn't choose it," Ash said. "It's subconscious."

Finally, I was able to look upon her without flinching away. No longer voided in terror, I noticed more about her. She was hunched forward slightly and her shrunken eyes were in fact moving, spinning around in a frenzy of fevered, flailing vision.

"See," Ash said quietly. "She wouldn't hurt anyone. She's the one in pain. Maybe we can help." He walked closer. "I know you're hurting," he told her, speaking calmly. "I can help. Show me where it hurts."

Josephine abruptly started walking. She went to an apple tree. Ash followed her and I followed him. Josephine waited for us, her ruined eyes zipping back and forth without rest. When Ash and I were near, she reached for an apple. Far from collecting it, she speared it through with her fierce claw. The remnants fell to the ground. Again and again she tried to hold an apple, but she destroyed it each time.

"I understand," Ash acknowledged.

Josephine proceeded to a batch of dandelions. Bending down on her scaly knees, she carefully reached for a dandelion. The dandelion was crushed into oblivion. She tried again and again but each time she failed, the dandelions violently shredded in the force of her sharp claws.

"I can help," Ash told her.

Ash closed his eyes. Lowering his head as though he were in a meditative state, Ash brought his hands together so that they formed a bowl. Josephine and I watched on incredulously. But something was happening. Stunned, I watched as pollen began to swirl around his cupped hands. It was gathering into a shape. A second later a flower rested on his palm.

"Ash!" I gasped. "You, you –"

"I manifested a flower," he finished happily. He turned to Josephine. "Josephine," he invited. "I want you to have this!"

Even amid the shock of watching Ash produce organisms from thin air, I was skeptical of his choice. What was he doing? She was only going to destroy it like everything else. Josephine, it appeared, agreed with me. She took a sudden step backward, away from Ash.

"I manifested this for you, Josephine," Ash coaxed. "Have it!"

Trembling, Josephine stepped forward. Her ruined face was contorted with concentration as she reached for the flower. At the very last moment she closed her fevered eyes. And then she opened them again and a flower lay on her palm, its petals intact.

In that moment I found myself. Ash had just done the only thing worth doing. _This_ was me. I knew it.

Josephine stared at the flower, her entire being a collage of disbelief. Slowly, she began walking. She passed us and traveled down the row of apple trees, still gazing in stunned fascination at the flower on her palm.

"Where's she going?" I asked, watching her.

Ash shook his head. "No idea."

"Not even a thank you?"

"I told you it was thankless," he said. "Shall we take a walk?" Taking my hand, Ash led me down a separate row of apple trees.

Shock was still pummeling me. "How'd you do that with the flower?"

"Oh, that's easy," Ash said. "Any Drifter worth his pepper can do a basic manifestation like that. Some manifestations are very complex, however. Those usually require one or more Utopians."

"But why was she a monster?" I asked. "I'm still confused."

"What you saw," Ash began. "Was Josephine's subconscious manifestation of herself. A reflection of her emotional self, basically," he continued. "We Drifters call that reflection a subconscious persona."

"Her subconscious persona was awful," I pointed out. "Hideous."

"Of course it was," Ash said. "Josephine has body dysmorphic disorder. Doesn't that illuminate this place?"

"I guess," I replied. "But it's beautiful here."

"Very," Ash agreed. "And Josephine couldn't enjoy any of it. She couldn't see it with her eyes, smell it with her nose, hear it with her ears, or touch it with her hands. The beauty here is a paradox."

"Your flower was different," I remarked. "She could touch it."

"Right," he said. "I interrupted her negative belief cycle."

I felt sorry for Josephine. "Will she be ok?"

"She will be fine," Ash said. "I gave her a seed and she will nurture it."

"How did you know that she wouldn't ruin the flower?"

He chuckled. "I didn't!"

I was incredulous. "You were just guessing?"

"Yup," Ash said. "Healing the subconscious isn't a perfect art. There's a lot of guesswork and a lot of crossed fingers."

We had reached the lake. Its waters tickled sand-less shores. I sighed contentedly. "It is crazy beautiful here," I breathed. "How long we can stay?"

"However long we like," Ash replied. "What do you want to do?"

"Oh," I began innocently. "Maybe we could just hang out a bit. Let's sit down." Sitting by the lake's edge, Ash and I leaned on our hands. The grass beneath us was soft to the touch.

Without waiting for my invitation, Ash gathered me to him. Hazel eyes gazed into my own. "We can't stay forever, though," he said. "So we may as well enjoy this place while we can."

My smile widened. "Is that all we can enjoy?"

His answer was more fantastic than words. Pulling me closer, he brought his honeyed lips within an inch of mine. "That is," he began. "If you don't mind doing it in someone's subconscious?"

"Too late," I whispered. And I traveled the distance and back.

# 8. The Surface

It was Saturday and I was in love with Ash Wildecore.

My love was like the newborn day around me, coming alive as I unraveled myself from the night's embrace and snuggled back into consciousness. Happily, I stood and went downstairs.

Dad smiled as I walked into the kitchen. "Good morning," he said, looking as happy as I felt. "How are you today?"

"Great, Dad! You?"

"Pretty great myself!" Dad said. He waited for me to sit before elaborating.

"So," I began. "What's happened?" I hadn't seen him this excited in a long time.

"Well," Dad began, barely restraining his excitement. "Dr. Errantes is retiring in August and –"

"You're _Chair_?" I interrupted, breathless.

Dad smiled. "I'm Chair!"

"Yes!" I yelled. "At last!"

Dad laughed. "We knew this was coming."

"I know," I admitted. "But still... that's so cool, Dad! Does Mom know yet?"

Dad shook his head. "I'm telling you first," he said. "Errantes told me at work yesterday and both of you were asleep when I got home."

"We have to celebrate!" I announced.

Dad nodded in agreement. "Any ideas?"

"Dinner out?" I suggested.

"Dinners _in_ are my favorite."

"How about company?" I said.

Dad considered me curiously. "Who should we invite?"

I hesitated. "Um... there's this guy from class and –"

"You have a boyfriend?" Dad interrupted, sounding a little too surprised. "This is a day for exciting news! What's his name?"

"Ash," I answered, turning red.

"In addition to Ash," Dad began. "Let's invite Dr. Divion and Dr. Boliers. They're always a good conversation, especially together!"

"Cool," I said, my tone unconvincing. "We can invite them too."

"It's a beautiful, sunny day out," Dad continued. "How about a seven o'clock dinner on the patio? We'll keep it informal."

Back in my room, I picked up my phone. I skipped to Ash's name and opened a textbox. I paused, wondering how to phrase my message. _Come over – I have a surprise?_ Nope, too vague _. Just invited you to dinner?_ Nah, too formal, too official. How about _Yo! Get the hell over here!_ A tempting message, but it might send the wrong message. There was always the standard _I'm not wearing anything_ , but that'd be a lie. I finally made my choice. _Morning, Ash_. _Come over – we can study for Adia's exam._

My phone beeped almost immediately. I opened his text. _Already left. See you in twenty minutes._

Hastily, I ran to the bathroom and took a shower before dressing as quickly as I dared. Choosing a light, sleeveless summer top with Indian lace around its neck, I threw on jeans and ran downstairs. I was only just in time. I opened the door right as he was about to knock.

"Hey," Ash said.

"Hi," I breathed.

"I brought the textbook and my notes," he said. "Or we could just..." Ash trailed, gazing around the cave. "Hang out." I welcomed him inside. Shutting the door, I found myself already in his arms. "Y'know," he said, cradling my chuckling form. "I've been thinking we should become more official."

"What?" But I had heard him.

"You heard me," he said. "Are your parents here?"

"Just Dad."

Ash nodded. "I should meet him."

Tempting though it was to steal Ash upstairs, creating a good first impression was also important. Leading Ash, I walked through the cave and into the kitchen. Introducing your boyfriend to your father is always awkward. This is true because the roles of father and boyfriend overlap far more than that of mother and girlfriend.

Regardless, Ash was fabulous. Walking directly to Dad, he offered his hand confidently. "Hi," he said. "I'm Ash."

Dad folded his newspaper away before inspecting Ash over the top of his glasses. He extended his hand. "Hi, Ash. I'm Martin."

I inserted myself before things could get awkward. "Dad's just been named the new Chair of the psych department at Hopkins."

"Whoa," Ash said. "Congratulations."

"We knew this was coming," Dad said. "It was just a matter of when."

Glimpsing my chocolate lab under the table, I bent down on my knees. "Come out, Oscar!"

Ash slapped his side with gusto. "Here boy!"

"Oscar's not giving into peer pressure," Dad said. "I can respect that. Start walking and then call him. He will follow."

"Good idea," I said, heading for the cave. "We're going to study," I added strategically, curious to find out whether or not I was lying. "We've got an exam on Monday in Dr. Arrowheart's class."

"Ash," Dad said, halting our progress from the room. "Annie's probably already told you but we're having guests for dinner later and you're one of them."

"She _didn't_ tell me," Ash said cheekily. "But I'm glad you did!"

Oscar followed Ash and I up the staircase. In my room, all three of us alighted on my bed. My dog padded over to the section with wall so he could lie against it. Ash tossed his materials across my sheets in disarray.

I hid my smile. "Is that how you begin studying?"

"Usually," he replied. Reaching into the pile, Ash handed me several pages that were clipped together.

"What's this?" I asked.

He grinned. "Adia's exam."

"You're kidding." But I was already smiling.

"It's filled out and everything," he remarked. "Compliments of Todd Arrowheart!"

"Nice move!" I breathed.

"So now that we're finished studying," Ash said. "We're liberated to engage in other activities!"

"Yay!" I exclaimed.

Even Oscar drooled happily on my sheets.

Kicking off his sandals, Ash relaxed onto my bed. His honeyed skin was already massaging my consciousness and a refreshing summer breeze from the open window ruffled his dirty blonde hair. Ash stared upward at my dreamcatcher. "I forgot how beautiful that is."

"I know," I said, staring at Ash. "Oh, I wanted to tell you something." I opened my mouth. And then I closed it. I couldn't do it. I loved him and yet I couldn't just say it like that.

"Yeah?" Ash pushed.

I stammered. "I, uh..."

"Spit it out."

"I want to be a Dreamdrifter!" I exclaimed.

He stared at me. Hazel eyes would not leave me and so I left them. Neither of us spoke for a moment. Ash's tone was shocked when he did speak. "But why?"

"It's my calling," I whispered. "I know it is."

"How do you know it?" Ash asked.

"I've always wanted to help people," I explained. "I told you that on the day we met."

"I remember," Ash said. "But you wouldn't tell me _why_ you wanted to help people."

"Not immediately," I said. "But I told you later."

"Because of Alexi?"

I nodded. "It was incredible, the look on Josephine's face when you gave her that flower. It was like she, she –"

"Was reborn?" Ash offered. I nodded again. "And you think," Ash began, watching me carefully. "That you could..."

"I know it," I whispered. "I know that I could, but I'd need your help." Taking his hand from the bed, I squeezed it. "Will you teach me? Instruct me so that I can become a Dreamdrifter?"

Ash looked hesitant. "I don't know, Annie," he said. "There's more going on than you know."

"Ash," I whispered, squeezing his hand again. "I want to be a Dreamdrifter. I _have_ to become a Dreamdrifter now that I know, now that I've experienced the subconscious mind. I was meant for this, Ash. I just know it."

He gazed into my eyes, his own wide. "Alright," Ash whispered. "Though I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Yes!" I celebrated. "So when do I graduate?"

He couldn't help but smile. "I will tell you. Are you ready for it?"

Foreboding settled upon me. "I suppose."

"You graduate when I say so!" Ash exclaimed.

I grabbed my pillow. "You!" I said loudly. "Are!" I lifted the pillow into the air. "Such!" I brought it down over his face, smothering him. "A goofball!" I finished, collapsing on the bed beside him. Breathing hard, I smiled at him from the pillow. "So where are we, Ash?"

"Seriously?" Ash asked. " _That_ conversation?"

"You started it," I accused. "Downstairs in the cave, remember? You said we should become official."

Ash ignored my incriminating detail. "What does your dad _think_ I am?"

My tone was guilty. "He thinks you're my boyfriend."

"That's interesting," Ash said. "Why would your dad think that?"

I looked appropriately sheepish. "I sort of implied that you were..."

"Your boyfriend?" Ash finished.

"Kind of," I admitted. "Was I wrong?"

"You tell me," he said.

"I think we'd be a fantastic couple," I encouraged. "We are there. We've been there for awhile. I've been feeling _it_ for awhile..."

"Feeling what?" Ash asked.

I said it before I could stop myself. " _Love_."

"Love?" Ash didn't allow his expression to run away from him. He kept it under control. "How long have you been feeling it?"

"For a while," I admitted. "Are you surprised?"

Ash considered me. "Yes," he said. "Because I thought it was _only_ me."

"Only you?" I repeated, confused.

"Yes."

"Ash, what –"

" _Love_ ," he whispered. "Somehow, I thought it was just me, and here you are saying it's not..."

"Ash, I don't –"

"Annie," he interrupted loudly. "I love you." His eyes were alight with hazel fires. "And that makes you my girlfriend."

Ash's honeyed face was glazed with contentment and wreathed in gold as he smiled from the pillow, his dirty blonde hair a glorious mess. The heat of his body was incredible beside me. His scent was awakening my nether regions as thick, muscular arms encircled me in their embrace like the hoop of a dreamcatcher.

I surrendered first to myself and then to him.

Later, we went downstairs.

"There you two are," Dad said. "I was about to yell up. We're having ribs," he added happily. "They're already on the grill! Jon and Lin are hanging with Oscar on the patio. Annie, make sure you introduce Ash."

I decided to start with Mom. She was sitting at the kitchen table. "Mom," I began ceremonially. "This is my boyfriend, Ash."

"Hi," Ash said, shaking her hand. "It's good to meet you."

"Sarah," Mom said, returning the gesture. "You're in Annie's psych class, aren't you?"

Ash nodded. "That's where we met!"

"Come on, Ash," I coaxed. "The others are outside."

"Hold up you two," Dad said. "Annie, get the dressing from the fridge and napkins. Ash, if you'd grab the salad I'd appreciate it."

The evening sun serenaded our journey to the patio. The lawn cascading down to the vegetable garden was dappled in lengthening shadows, the grill burning away merrily, and the smell of sizzling ribs making Oscar drool.

Linford Divion and Jonathan Boliers were seated around the patio table. They had been conversing in quiet tones, but stopped when they saw me and Ash depart the kitchen with our hands full.

Boliers spread his arms. "Long time no see!"

I grinned. "How's Hopkins, Dr. Boliers?"

"Still there, I think," he chuckled. "Who's your handsome friend?"

"This is Ash," I introduced. "My boyfriend. Ash, this is Dr. Boliers, our family friend and doctor." Boliers stood to shake Ash's hand before reclaiming his seat. "And you already know Dr. Divion."

Mom and Dad came pouring out of the kitchen, their hands full of plates and silverware. Dad had a bottle of wine under one arm. "Sauvignon Blanc," he said, placing the bottle on the table. "From the Loire Valley of New Zealand. There's five more bottles so don't just be a'sippin!"

"Hear! Hear!" Boliers cried.

Dinner was served. Everyone stood and crowded around the grill for their servings. The whole affair was informal and I preferred it that way. I added ketchup to my ribs as always. They were delicious.

"Don't get me wrong!" Boliers began loudly after his fourth glass of wine. "I love the Arrowhearts, but that whole vegan thing would turn _me_ into a giant carrot!"

"I think they're _pescetarians_ , Dr. Boliers," Ash corrected.

"Whatever," Boliers said. "I need meat, not just fishies and veggies!"

Mom turned to Divion. "Lin, I loved your article in _Psychology Today_."

"Thanks," he replied. "You didn't think the topic was cliché?"

"Not at all," Mom said. "It's a popular issue but your points were refined." She spoke to the table at large. "Did anyone read this month's _Psychology Today_? Lin wrote an article on the predominance of overmedication in psychiatry."

Later in the evening, Dr. Boliers got to his feet.

"Oh no," Dad moaned.

Boliers tried to clink his spoon against his wine glass. He missed entirely. The feat required a few more attempts. Boliers cleared his throat. "Now," he began. "It just so happens that we're all here tonight for a reason!" He stared around the table grandly. "And that reason is sitting right here," he added, pointing to Dad. "Ladies, gentlemen, dog," he bowed to Oscar. "The new Chair of psychology at Hopkins University!"

Everyone clapped enthusiastically.

"Way to go, Dad!"

Ash shook Dad's hand. "Congratulations, Dr. McGallagher."

"Wait!" Divion yelled in mock outrage. " _Who's_ my new boss?"

Oscar barked his applause.

My eyes found the only unhappy face. True, Mom _was_ smiling, but the smile was a fake, a forgery. Staring at her, I realized something. Mom had _lost_. I had never realized that my parents were even competing. Now, however, it was all too obvious. Mom had built a practice, was a celebrated developmental psychologist, and had been widely published. Dad, however, had been more widely published and becoming Chair meant victory over their marriage-long competition for prominence and prestige.

Suddenly, I understood my parents. They were just people, plain people, simple people, _limited_ people. The bittersweet moment when a child sees naked the lifelong limitation of her parents is one of both fright and liberty. My bittersweet moment had just arrived.

"I'm dropping out of college!" I yelled to the night.

There was silence.

There was more silence.

There was a lot more silence.

The only sound was the silence of everyone staring at me. And it was loud. Most people have not experienced the treat of telling three PhDs and a medical doctor that you're dropping out of college after one week. I recommend it. It's fun.

Mom spoke first. "No you're not."

Dad forestalled her. Despite his calm exterior, I could see his eyes dilating with panic. "Annie, what's this about?" Ash stepped on my foot and I read his thoughts. _Don't say Dreamdrifter!_ "Annie," Dad began. "It's normal to have doubts about your future. Being unsure just means you're still thinking and that's good! You don't have to stop just because you're unsure."

"I know what I want," I said.

"And what's that?" Dad asked.

"I want to help people."

"So go to college," Dad said. "Become a social worker or a psychologist. If psychology isn't your thing, you can go into teaching or medicine. There are millions of ways to help people."

"More than millions," Ash added. "There are _billions_ of ways to help people. In fact, there are about seven billion ways to help people." He winked at me and I smiled back.

"The point is there are many," Dad said. "And if you take some different subjects you'll find the right one. You should stay in school, Annie."

Dad's intentions were good of course. He was logical, practical, moderate, reasonable and wrong. I had found my calling and I would stay true until it called me home.

"I will finish Adia's course," I said. "But then I'm done, I'm finished. I have my path."

Dad considered me. He searched my face for signs of doubt. Luckily, I had none to show. Boliers took the opportunity to pour yet another glass of wine. Mom's expression was disapproving but she remained silent. Ash watched me admiringly while Divion watched me curiously. Oscar chewed on a leftover rib.

Dad sighed. "Will you help people on this path?"

"Yes," I replied.

Dad glanced at Ash. "And this is _your_ path?"

I nodded. "It's only mine."

Dad nodded several times, although more to himself than me. He was coming around to the idea, feeling it out. When he spoke again he was serious. "Our offer stands to pay your tuition if you decide to return to college. It's _never_ too late for college."

"Thanks, Dad," I said, relief flooding me. "I won't forget."

The remainder of the evening trickled away peacefully. Dr. Boliers was nearly in need of a wheelchair by the time dessert was finished. Divion helped guide him through the cave. We all gathered there for the late evening goodbyes.

Ash shook Dad's hand again. "Goodnight, Dr. McGallagher."

"Good to meet you, Ash."

Divion waved his farewell. "Bye, Annie. I'm sure we'll meet again soon. Keep her safe, Ash."

Ash nodded pointedly. "I intend to."

Everyone except my parents walked out to the front drive. The summer night was a haze of beauty. Lightning bugs guided our path to the cars. Very fortunately, Divion and Boliers had driven together. They sped away into the night. Alone at last, Ash and I stared at each other for a second. And then we burst out laughing. Oscar barked loudly from around the fence. "Oscar!" I giggled. "It's just us!"

Ash shook his head. "Dropping out of college to become a Dreamdrifter," he said incredulously. "You're a bad girl, Annie!" Taking my hand, he guided my eyes upward. "The moon is beautiful tonight," he murmured. "But where's the fisher boy?"

"Waiting for us to leave," I whispered.

His eyes found mine in the moonlight. "You were amazing tonight," Ash said. "Any doubts I had about you becoming a Dreamdrifter? Consider them dead!"

I smiled happily. "I absolutely will."

He kissed me in the night. "I love you, Annie."

"I love you too."

That morning, I had awoken to a day like any other. Now I was a college dropout, a Dreamdrifter in training, and in love with a gorgeous boy. These revelations, rising from the depths of my subconscious mind, had reached the surface like my happiness awakening from a long and restless sleep.

# 9. The Newcomer

My dreamcatcher swayed, a feather skirted dancer in the evening breeze. The center beads reflected the light, sending shadows shimmering against the wall like droplets of water.

"It's stunning," Todd appreciated. "Wayfara made this?"

"Yeah," I replied. "And I meant to ask him whether they work but I got distracted. Do they work?"

Todd's knowing smile was cream. "What do you think?"

I shrugged. "I don't know," I admitted. "So?"

We were upstairs. The evening had grown around my room, its shadows rising from the depths of day. They tickled the windows, whispering warnings about the coming of night.

"You should ask a Dreamdrifter," Todd said. "I'm not a Dreamdrifter."

I thought for a second. "Are you Utopian?"

"You know," he began, his smile growing wild over his face. "It's strange what Ash has chosen to tell you and what he hasn't."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Telling you about the Utopians was reckless."

"No, it wasn't," I defended. "And he showed me more than told me, but are _you_ going to show me? Are you a Utopian?"

"Of course!" Todd said, splashing me with cream.

His smile was infectious on my face. "Show me –"

Closing his eyes, Todd gazed downward. Suddenly, enormous, velvety black wings appeared behind him, filling the room from wall to ceiling in their fully expanded form.

"Whoa, Todd!" I exclaimed. "They're beautiful!"

"Thanks," he said, ruffling his feathers in embarrassment. "But now I feel cramped in here. Wanna go for a walk?"

"You'll have to put those away, you know," I warned.

"That's true, I guess," he admitted. "Want to touch?"

"Yes," I breathed.

His feathers were soft, but I was quickly distracted by something else. I could feel something running through the velvety blackness. Todd smiled at my awed expression. "Energy."

"What?" I asked.

"Energy," he repeated. "You're feeling the current in my wings."

I stared at my hand. "But how?"

"It's a byproduct of manifestation," Todd explained.

I caressed his glossy, black plumage, feeling the electricity in my fingertips. It felt magnificent, like a high that was rewiring my consciousness. It was lovely. It was addictive.

Downstairs, I grabbed Oscar's leash. "We're going for a walk, Oscar!" I called. My retriever came bounding in from the kitchen. He skidded to a halt in the cave, his tail wagging compulsively. After fastening Oscar's collar, Todd and I walked outside. Looking over at Todd, I felt a sudden panic. "Todd! What are you doing?"

Todd was grinning like a rascal. Behind him, his twenty foot wing span filled the entire dirt road fully visible. The late evening sun illuminated his feathers. Todd shrugged his reply. "No one's here."

"Put them away," I hissed. "You can't! Most people _don't_ have wings!"

Sighing, Todd folded his wings away before vanishing them. We journeyed along the path leading away from my house. Oscar dashed forward and back impatiently to the extent that his leash would allow.

I felt bad for reprimanding my friend. Todd was a guest after all, a winged guest, but a guest nonetheless. Feeling responsible for his mood, I decided to ask more questions. "What did you mean by a byproduct of manifestation?"

"That's where our energy comes from," Todd said.

I nodded thoughtfully. "It's like that for all Utopians?"

"Yeah."

"So Coraline's wings feel like that?" I asked. "What about Adia's?"

"Yes," Todd answered. "And it's not just our wings. Here, touch my hand." He extended his palm.

Touching his dark skin, I immediately felt the voltage beneath my fingers. "Whoa," I breathed, staring at his hand. The current was even stronger than what I had felt in his wings. A million synapses were going into hyperspace beneath my touch. "This is crazy."

His smile was cream filled. "Crazy awesome?"

"Crazy awesome," I agreed.

"We all have varying degrees of wattage," he continued. "For lack of a better word."

"Who has the most?" I asked.

"Sis," he answered. "She's the most powerful Utopian in the Holurn."

Darkness was pressing in now, its shadows ghosts in the all encompassing night. Moonlight alone encouraged our journey forward. My house was far behind us now as our path twisted upward. The patter of Oscar's paws on the dirt path relaxed me as fireflies tickled the bushes, their bodies glowing ahead like guiding spirits.

"Todd?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"How is your sister responsible for many deaths?"

He was silent for a moment. I bit my lip anxiously. I usually felt like I had so many questions and so little nerve with which to ask them, but perhaps this time I had gone too far.

"Do you really want to know?" Todd asked.

"Yes," I breathed. "I've wanted to know for so long. You wouldn't tell me last time. You kept me in the dark."

"I _never_ keep people in the dark," Todd said, his tone defensive. "That would be against my Creed."

"So then?" I pressured. I could hardly restrain my impatience, for unrestrained excitement was flooding my system and making it difficult for me to breathe. I was going to learn Adia's secret at last.

"Has Ash told you much about Dreamdrifter history?" Todd asked.

"Oh," I said in surprise. "He's told me about Wilhelm. About him being the first Holan of your Holurn and everything."

"Nothing about the Second Great Manifestation?"

"No," I breathed, already fascinated. "What was that?"

His expression was solemn. "It's a hard story to hear," Todd said. "And a harder story to tell. Annie, did Ash ever tell you why he and his siblings are orphans?" I shook my head, shocked by this unexpected turn. I was feeling more ashamed, however, than shocked. How had I never asked? "Ok," Todd said sadly. "I will tell you the story. Maybe you already know this," he began. "But Utopians have the privilege of prophecy."

I nodded briefly. "Ash told me."

Todd's face was pained. "Adia is the most powerful and prophetic of our Holurn," he said. "It seems ridiculous now that Mom and Dad thought she was an Awaker at first."

The word confused me. "What's an Awaker?"

His smile was halfhearted. "An Awaker is a Dreamdrifter with no Dreamdrifting ability. Two Dreamdrifter parents usually mean a Dreamdrifter child, but not always. Sometimes there's a dud. They're called Awakers because they awake every time they attempt to enter the subconscious mind. Having an Awaker child is socially devastating for the prominent families of some Holurns."

"That's ridiculous," I said.

"Yeah," he agreed. "It is."

"Do I know any Awakers?" I asked.

His smile was revealed by moonlight. "We both do."

"Who's that?" I was suddenly breathless.

"Jonathan Boliers."

"You're kidding," I said.

"Nope," he said. "He's an Awaker. I swear."

"Whoa," I breathed, feeling stunned.

Todd scratched his dreads. "Anyway, we were talking about Adia."

"Right," I agreed. "So –"

"So Adia is our most prophetic Utopian," Todd began. "And her prophecies are held in the highest regard." I nodded, following closely. "Years ago," he continued. "Adia had a vision. She saw that our kind would flourish anew under the leadership of a Newcomer, a new Dreamdrifter who would become the greatest Utopian our world had ever seen. This Newcomer, she said, would rise above the cultural and historical limitations of the Holurns and unite our kind, bringing hope and healing to humanity and Dreamdrifters alike. _That_ was her prophecy."

"It sounds wonderful," I said, fascinated.

"It _would_ have been," Todd sighed. "The Holan at the time, Coraline's father, took Adia's advice and prepared for the Newcomer in the most risky way possible. He gambled and _lost_."

I stared at him. "Lost?"

Todd's face was blank. "Annie," he said quietly. "That was the Second Great Manifestation. They performed it six years ago and so they didn't share the details with me. The adults handled the preparations."

He fell silent beside me.

"Todd," I asked slowly. "What happened?"

"We're orphans too," he said quietly. "Me and Adia. See, my sister told the Holan that another great manifestation _had_ to be performed to ensure the Newcomer's survival. The First Great Manifestation had bestowed wings upon the Utopians. This time, Adia instructed him, the manifestation had to give the Utopians the power of _invisibility_."

"Yes," I breathed.

The moonlit reflection vanished in his eyes as he blinked. "You know?"

"Ash told me about the invisibility," I said. "And about how the Holurn had only had it for six years."

Todd nodded. "All the Utopians of our Holurn gathered in the Holan's study for the manifestation," he continued. "Adia and my parents, Coraline and her parents, Cassie, Julian, and a few others were all there. They joined their hands and then they..."

"What?" I pushed. "They?"

" _Destroyed_ themselves."

I gasped. "What!"

Todd shook his head. "I was not yet realized," he explained. "Or else I would have joined them." He wiped his eyes. "Super manifestations require many Utopians and are very difficult. They can go horribly wrong. It was a nightmare, a massacre, a terrible dream."

I squeezed his shoulder. "Todd, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," he said. "You didn't do anything wrong. I didn't do anything wrong. It's done. It happened. Twelve Utopians climbed that spiral staircase. Four walked from the room. The Holan, may he rest in peace, had died."

The night was silent. Even Oscar had gone quiet. We walked without speaking for several minutes before Todd continued. His voice was calm. "That was the worst day of my life. Julian, Cassie, Coraline and Sis were the survivors. Coraline became Holan that evening."

I was overwhelmed. "That's so sad."

"Yeah," he agreed. "And nobody has suffered more than Sis," he said vehemently. "She has carried the weight of their deaths for all these years, carried the weight of her Holan's death."

"I don't understand something," I admitted. "The Second Great Manifestation was obviously successful. So didn't the prophecy come true?"

Todd closed his eyes. "That's the worst part," he said. "It never happened. The Newcomer never came. Adia must have imagined the idea. I used to hold it against her," he added bitterly. "I even hated her for awhile, but I was a child then. She has suffered too much for hate. Anyway, somebody who hates their only remaining family is a fool. All I have left for her is love."

"I had no idea about any of this," I confessed. "Forgive me for prying."

At last, Todd smiled. "No worries," he said. "Hey, don't you have an exam tomorrow?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed theatrically. "And whoops! I forgot to study!"

Todd winked as he took Oscar's leash from my hand. "You're welcome," he said. "I hope you've been studying that exam."

My phone beeped in my pocket. Retrieving it, I opened the text. _We'll begin your training tomorrow after the exam. Meet me half an hour early and we can study a bit. Love Ash._ Excitement pumped in my veins like carbonated blood.

Tomorrow it would all begin!

# 10. Eli

"That first question," I began, hiding my smile. " _Who is considered the father of modern psychology?_ That was Carl Jung, right?"

Ash looked at me in horror. "Did you really!"

Laughing, I climbed the steps up to the deck. "No, I didn't. I said Freud."

"That's a relief," Ash said. "That would have been really bad." Walking to the kitchen door, Ash led me inside.

"Cookies!"

Ash's enormous kitchen, having been so clean before, was positively stirring with baking hoopla now. Jars of everything littered the marble countertops and cookie laden baking sheets were spread over the island, irresistibly wafting the smell of deliciousness.

"Welcome!" Wayfara cried, revealing himself from behind the open fridge door. "Come sample some of our fine, fresh cookies!" His dirty blonde hair was tied back into a ninja ponytail and he was wearing a flowered apron.

Cassie's apron was pink. She was standing by the stove and pouring hot water into a cone-filtered coffee pot. She coughed obviously. "You should try _my_ cookies before his," she said, winking. "While you can still _consciously_ appreciate them."

"Huggles doesn't trust me with cookies anymore," Wayfara explained. "It's a shame, really."

"Enough with the Huggles!" Cassie yelled, but her smile was barely restrained. I giggled involuntarily. Cassie rounded on me. "Think it's funny? Perhaps I should force feed you Wayfara's cookies! That'd teach you a lesson!"

"Hey!" Wayfara said indignantly. "Don't knock the cookies." He beckoned me over. "Check these out, Annie."

Upon seeing the cookies, I grinned appreciatively. Each was in the shape of a tiny dreamcatcher. "Wayfara," I breathed. "This must have taken –"

"Forever," he finished. "The aluminum kept breaking when I was making the cutter. It took even longer to make than your dreamcatcher, Annie," he added, smiling. "But hey, now we have dream cookies!"

I smiled helplessly. "No more nightmares after a dream cookie, right?"

Cassie checked the oven before turning to Wayfara. "The Holan wouldn't want you making _dream_ cookies."

"Where is Coraline, anyway?" Ash asked.

"Went abroad this morning," Cassie replied. "To a Holurn in Stockholm. She's going to request some additional Utopians."

"What for?" Wayfara asked. "We can manage with five or six."

" _Five_ ," Cassie corrected. "And if having foreign Utopians around here means fewer suicides in Baltimore then I'm onboard. Five is pitiful."

Wayfara fiddled with his ninja tail. His words were hinting. "Soon there might be a sixth Utopian."

"He never gives you a break, does he?" I asked, turning to Ash.

"Never," Ash replied.

I sampled a dream cookie. The deliciousness of it threatened to turn my mouth into a waterfall of saliva. It was the perfect texture, the perfect temperature, the perfect taste. "Mmmh," I moaned through a mouthful. "So good!"

Wayfara looked pleased. "Really, you like it?" I gave him a double thumbs up, my mouth still full.

"Time to be heading upstairs," said Ash, squeezing my shoulder.

"Whatcha up to?" Wayfara asked.

I swallowed the rest of my cookie. "Dreamdrifting!"

"Dream cookies," Ash said, shaking his head as we climbed the winding staircase. "What will he think of next?" Outside of his room, Ash gestured me inside politely. "After you."

Sporting a large bed and many shelves, Ash's room was both smaller than Coraline's and cleaner than Wayfara's. A Victor Talking Machine sat on a table beside an old fashioned sofa. Shutting the door behind us, Ash turned to face me. I watched as his stubble tweaked, the culprit a smile belonging to closed eyes. "Are you ready for this?"

I nodded. "I am."

Going to the Victor Talking Machine, Ash cranked the handle before lifting the needle and placing it on the groove. A scooting bounce of an instrumental number filled the room. "Do you like Jazz?"

"Sometimes," I replied. "Who's this?"

"Sydney Bechet," he replied. "Doing Wild Cat Blues." Following his lead, I sat down on the couch. "Your training begins!" Ash announced. "Your first lesson, once we're in the subconscious, will be on The Four Plains of Awareness. Regardless, most of our sessions will carry on as follows: I will take you there and the rest is you. _You_ have to figure it out."

Taking Ash's honeyed hand in mine, I smiled at him mischievously. "You're already a better teacher than Adia," I commented. "And you've only been teaching me for one minute."

"You're biased," he accused.

"Very."

Ash retrieved the wooden chest that I had first seen in the Holan's tower room. Opening its carved, dreamcatcher lid, he scanned the vials. Frowning against the small type, he selected one and handed it over. I read the tiny name running vertically down the vial: _Eli_.

"As your instructor," Ash began, smiling hugely. "I have an instruct: _drink_."

Skipping hesitation, I downed the vial in one go. Ash's room turned over before my eyes. All was blackness, all was a swirling journey. And then, quite suddenly, we arrived.

My hand squeezed his tightly. I was checking to make sure he was still there. He _was_ still there. I could feel him breathing through our touching shoulders, could feel the roaring strength of his heart. I opened my eyes. My brain fumbled.

"Ash?"

"Yup?"

"We're back," I whispered. "Back in Josephine's subconscious."

For upon opening my eyes, I was greeted by a world of trees and shrubs, their movements yielding to a sudden wind. Ash and I were centered on a dusty path, its curving lane traveling around a copse of trees and out of sight.

Turning to Ash, I was taken aback again by his dreamcatcher. The thing was going crackers, whirling through hoops of its own making and splattering ink across his chest before retrieving it. I stared in appreciative wonder.

"My face is up here," Ash said, smiling. "And don't worry. We're not in Josephine's subconscious. It looks similar, though, doesn't it?"

I nodded. "It's pretty, at least."

"Let's follow this path," Ash figured. "And see where it takes us."

"Okay." I followed in his wake.

"The Four Plains of Awareness," Ash began slowly. "You need to be aware of them. I bet you can guess two of the plains."

I considered him. "Conscious and subconscious?"

"There you go," he said appreciatively. "Consciousness and Subconsciousness are two of the plains. Creation and Heaven are the other two. They –"

"Hold on," I interrupted, shocked. "Heaven? Really? _Heaven_?"

"Of course," Ash replied. "Heaven is a plain just like earth, but earth isn't called earth here. It's called Consciousness. Each plain has a unique native, a natural inhabitant," Ash explained. "Humans are the natives of Consciousness. Drifters are the natives of Subconsciousness. Can you guess who the natives of Creation are?"

I thought for a second. "Utopians?"

"Very good," he said. "While we Drifters and very few humans can only throw pebbles in the pond of Creation, Utopians can jump in and splash the water around, making waves. Creation is the most energetic plain, the plain of manifestation. That is partially what makes Utopians so powerful in the Subconscious. They're manifesting geniuses. Though talented in the Subconscious, Creation is where Utopians perform their best and most difficult work."

"The Second Great Manifestation," I began. "Did the Utopians journey to Creation to perform it?"

Ash's expression was shared equally by admiration and surprise. "Yes," he answered. "Twelve Utopians traveled to Creation but only four returned. I'm surprised you know about that."

"I heard about it somewhere," I added vaguely. "What happened exactly?"

"Nobody really knows," Ash said. "In my opinion, the manifestation they were attempting was too much for too few. The manifestation was granted, but in exchange for lives. Anyway," he continued, reverting back. "Do you understand The Four Plains of Awareness now?"

"Almost," I said. "But who are the natives of Heaven?"

"Ah," Ash said. "I nearly forgot! The natives of Heaven are alone more powerful than the Utopians."

"Who are they?" I asked excitedly. "What are they?"

"Paradesians."

"What?" I said.

Ash smiled. "Angels."

"Whoa," I breathed. "No way."

"Oh yes," he said. "They're real. Only a few have visited during my years at Everest, but when they do you never forget. They are incredible. Imagine a super Utopian."

"That's hard to do," I admitted.

His eyes twinkled like hazel lighthouses. "It won't be, not if you meet one," he hinted. "They are undeniably the natives of Heaven."

"How do you become one?" I asked. "A Paradesian?"

"You don't," Ash said. "The transformation isn't like the others. For a human to become a Drifter she must have an inborn ability. For a Drifter to become Utopian he must realize his own or someone else's subconscious mind. But there are no instructions for Utopians who wish to become Paradesian."

I frowned. "Then how do they exist?"

"You don't _decide_ to become Paradesian," Ash continued. "Rather, your presence is _requested_ within their ranks. And before I forget," he added. "You should know that the natives of each plain can access the lower plain. So Paradesians can access Heaven, Creation, Subconsciousness, and Consciousness, Utopians can access Creation, Subconsciousness, and Consciousness, we Drifters can access Subconsciousness and Consciousness, and you humans can access only?"

"Consciousness," I answered. "Shucks!"

"Correct," Ash said. "So those are The Four Plains of Awareness. Now I need to tell you about your patient today. His name is Eli. He's a hemophiliac and an alcoholic. Remember the details, Annie," he said. "They help."

"I have another question," I said.

He raised his eyebrows. "You think I'm surprised?"

"What would happen," I began. "If a subconscious persona was harmed?"

"That's a serious question," Ash said. "And a good one. _Insanity_ , that's what would happen. You can't have a subconscious mind without a subconscious persona and you can't have sanity without a subconscious mind. The subconscious is like a personal insanity locker where everything your consciousness can't cope with gets stored away. When the subconscious is destroyed, insanity is revealed."

"But who would kill a subconscious persona?"

" _Dreamtrappers_ ," Ash replied. "They're Drifters that infiltrate the subconscious with the sole purpose of harming the persona. The most famous group of Dreamtrappers call themselves the Justices. They target human criminals, murdering their subconscious personas so that the criminals go insane. Other groups just cause insanity for sport."

"That's wrong," I condemned. "But the Justices sound alright. Don't they?"

"Do they?" Ash asked. "They attack defenseless people. Is that honorable?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"You and many Drifters," Ash muttered. "Fortunately, most Holurns including ours don't allow Dreamtrappers in their ranks." Stopping, Ash cupped his ear. "Hear that?"

I listened hard. The sounds were pedestrian, men calling to one another, tools being sharpened and used, and the odd whinny of a horse. Turning a sudden corner around some tall trees, our eyes landed upon a town. Double floored buildings occupied both sides of the road ahead. The entrance was unmarked by a sign or gate.

It was a boomtown.

Covered wagons and carts filled the road. Space was tight as Ash and I wound passed them. The buildings appeared to be businesses, the Yellowman's Post and the Patchville Print. People wearing old fashioned garb passed in droves. We moved hastily aside as a man on horseback cantered by.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To find Eli," Ash replied. "There are plenty of saloons here and he's bound to be in one of them."

Ash was right. Every third venue appeared to be a liquor store or a bar. Some had neat saloon doors while others didn't, but all looked very customer appreciated. We had arrived unto a liquor haven.

"Shots! Shots! Fifty cents apiece! Shots!" Beside the road, a table had been adorned with tiny glasses filled with maroon liquid. The man standing behind the table had crawling sideburns. "Shots! Shots! Fifty cents apiece! Shots!"

"I bet Eli gets his fill here," I commented.

Ash nodded. "I'm sure he does."

"Can you sense him?"

"Yes," Ash said. "He's further down the block." Taking my hand, Ash led me forward. "Here are some reminders," he said. "You can't touch a persona or guide them with force. You must show them the way for that is the _only_ way." Squeezing my hand, he pulled me to a stop in front of a saloon. Wrapping me in his arms, Ash gazed into my eyes, his own overdosing on hazel. "You'll be fine."

"Maybe," I said.

"It's time," Ash said, nodding to the saloon. "He's waiting for help."

Allowing his arms to fall away, I walked up the steps and into the saloon. The noise and hubbub that greeted me was immediate. The place was packed. The bar ran along the right side of the room where it stretched to the back. Unkempt looking people, nearly all men, filled the bar seats while others played craps. Still more sat around drinking from multicolored bottles.

I waded through the crowd. The hygiene of my company was awful, the smell worse. That wasn't all the bad news. I didn't have Ash's honing device. How was I supposed to find Eli? Discouragement, along with perspiration from all the body heat, was afflicting my brow as I reached the back of the room. Luckily, I caught some inspiration.

"Eli!" I yelled. "Eli!"

"Yes 'am?"

I spun around. The response had come from nearby for the husky voice had been low. I approached the closest table. Only one person sat there but I couldn't see his face. It was hidden beneath a lowered, broad brimmed hat. Bottles, empty and full, littered the table beside his outstretched hand, his palm surrendering to the ceiling.

"Eli?" I asked.

Slowly, the man raised his head.

The gasp of horror stalled in my lungs, silencing a scream. During biology class in high school, I had seen a pig whose blood had been siphoned away until veins stood empty and naked along its ruined, wrinkled body. I had been horrified then and was horrified now as I gazed into the writhing eyes of the human version.

"That's me name," Eli said. "How'dya come to know it?"

"Be – because," I stuttered. "I'm here to help you!"

"Help me?"

"That's right." Without waiting for an invitation, I pulled out the seat beside him and sat down.

"Who's to say I needs help?" He asked curiously.

My answer was ready. "We _all_ need help."

"What's your name?" Eli asked. "That 'aways I don't have to call ya stranger."

"I'm Annie."

"Annie," Eli repeated. "Pretty name for a pretty gal." He swept his hat off and dropped it to the table, revealing a mostly bald top as he did. Reaching for the nearest bottle, he downed its remaining contents in one swig. Unsatisfied, he opened another for a second round. It was difficult to discern the liquid's color through the green bottles. "That's the stuff!" Eli exclaimed, dropping the second bottle to the table. "And it's my stuff too!"

Picking up a full bottle, I examined it. "What's in here?"

"Me," he replied.

"What?" I asked.

Eli smiled, the effect adding even more wrinkles to his millennial face. "Try it," he invited. "It's good."

Gazing into the bottle, I remained unable to discern the liquid's color. I swished the contents in an effort to calm my nerves. And then in a single motion, before I could stop myself, I lifted the bottle to my lips and poured. I tasted the liquid. There was a mere second of confusion before my brain clicked. And then I was on the floor, puking the maroon liquid onto the wooden boards. My mouth was on fire.

Eli bent down beside me. "Ya'al right?"

"No!" I coughed. "No! I'm not alright!" I spluttered. "I just swallowed blood!"

"I reckon ya did," Eli commented. "I told ya yah would."

"No you didn't!" I accused. "You said it was _you_!"

"I likes it," he said defensively. Reclaiming his seat, he popped another bottle and swigged mightily, his body seeming to swell with each swallow.

Slowly, I was able to recover myself. I tried to ignore the disgust that was pummeling me, tearing at my consciousness. Retaking my seat, I voiced the question brewing in my brain. "Why do you drink blood?"

"It's the life giver," Eli said.

I frowned. "So you'll die if you don't drink blood?"

"I reckon so."

"Why?" I asked.

"Cause," Eli said huskily. "I ain't got no blood."

I shook my head. "Everybody has blood. You need it to live."

"That's about right," he agreed. "And so I drinks it!"

"You don't need to drink blood to stay alive," I said. "There's life abounding around you, abounding in you! Life is there, I promise it is. Blood is there, I promise it is. You just have to believe it!"

Eli waved me away. " _This_ is me," he said, shaking the bottle in his hand. "There ain't no life living outside it, no blood pumping beyond it. It keeps me alive. Be on your way, Annie, ya ain't helping me."

Desperately, I thought of Ash. What would Ash do in this situation? He would know the perfect thing to say, to manifest, to show... yes! That was it! I had to _show_ the way!"

I bounced to my feet. Leaving Eli behind, I darted over to the bar. I was searching for an entrance to the stock side. I could climb over the bar, but I wanted to avoid a potentially catastrophic fall. There was only one other entry point and it was far down the bar, near the entrance of the saloon.

Careful to dodge stumbling customers, I retraced my steps to the front and ducked beneath the rising barrier. I was behind the bar. Now I just needed to find my tool. I had nearly traveled the length of the bar and was ready to admit defeat when I saw the object of my quest. Happily, I grabbed it.

"I brought you something," I said to Eli.

"Could use a horse," he joked.

"Not a horse," I corrected. "Better!" Holding the object forth in my closed fist, I opened my fingers.

His eyes widened in surprise. "Reckon ya could kill a horse with that."

I nodded. "Or a demon."

Lying on my palm was a knife. It was a small thing, smaller even than a common dinner knife, but it was many times sharper, many times deadlier, and many times more adept at drawing blood.

His eyes didn't leave the blade. "What's 'at for?"

I smiled. "You."

"What?" Eli asked.

"You," I repeated. "This is for you." Somehow, from somewhere, I knew what to say. "Take it," I whispered, kneeling beside him and lifting the blade to his hand. "Take it and show me your life. Show me you live. Show me your blood, Eli."

Eli stared at me. "Ya'd have me spill life?"

"Yes," I replied.

His expression was panicked. "But I ain't got none to spill! I'll die!"

I shook my head. "You won't die," I whispered. "I'm here for you, here to protect you. Eli, show me blood! Do it!"

In a drapery of hesitation, he lowered a gnarly hand and retrieved the blade. Lifting it, he watched me closely. "It's a strange feeling, this'un," he said. "For I can't say why I trusts ya but I reckon I do." Bringing the blade to his fingertip, Eli pierced the flesh. The blade clattered to the floor. Eli stared, stunned by the trickle of blood that ran the length of his finger to caress his palm.

"This ain't to be believed," Eli breathed. "This ain't to be believed," he repeated. He blinked. Suddenly, Eli stood, straightening his hide shirt. Walking around his chair, he gathered his hat, fluffing the inside momentarily before placing it on his head. "You, young lady," he said. "Got a gift."

Tipping his hat, Eli headed for the door. His boots were loud on the floor. I watched as he burst through the double doors and exited the saloon. Sighing deeply, I felt the exhaustion hit simultaneously with celebration. Dreamdrifting was tiring.

"That was fantastic."

My gaze landed upon the inky whirl of Ash's dreamcatcher, its wild contours revealed by his v-neck shirt. "Seriously?" I asked self-consciously. "You're not just saying that to be nice?"

"Never," Ash said. "I was watching the whole time. You were amazing. For a first exchange with a subconscious persona that went incredibly well. You might just be a natural."

"You're biased," I accused.

"Very."

I laughed. "Let's go home."

"Sounds good to me," Ash said. "Just say the word and we're there."

I was confused. "I already said I want to go home."

Ash shook his head, incredulous. "This is the easy part, Annie," he chided. "The _other_ word!"

"Oh!" I giggled. " _Dreamdrifter_!"

# 11. The Party

We arrived at the final week of Adia's psychology course. It was the Tuesday before the final exam on Friday. I was in the kitchen, watching as Oscar lapped busily from his water bowl. My phone beeped loudly from the table. Excitement flooded me. I hadn't seen or talked to Ash since last Friday. He had played hooky on Monday. I opened the textbox.

Morning. See you in twenty minutes. Your training continues...

I smiled contentedly. I had no worries about Dreamdrifting now. My confidence had soared since helping Eli. Twenty minutes later I was locking the front door behind me and walking across the driveway to Ash's toy bus.

"Hop in," Ash invited.

I jumped in beside him. "Good morning!"

"Morning," Ash reciprocated. "How's things?"

"Peachy," I replied. "I'm ready for more Dreamdrifting!"

"Cool," Ash said. Flooring the clutch, he shifted Magic into first. Soon we were traveling up my driveway. Rocks were scattered with dust as we began the long ascent.

"I'm excited!" I exclaimed. "Eli was like two weeks ago!"

"Yup," Ash agreed. "You'd earned a break."

"I didn't need one," I complained. "I was ready for more right away." Flooring the clutch again at the top of my drive, Ash turned onto the main road. I gazed over at him. "Ash?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Coraline will let me join the Holurn?"

Reaching over, Ash took my hand. He squeezed it in a reassuring way. "I'm sure she will, Annie," he said. "When you're ready, though," he added. "I can't see her snubbing you."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because I can't see her snubbing _me_ ," Ash answered. "And it's the same difference."

Silence had never been my enemy. I enjoyed some while gazing out of the open window. The sun was high and unfretted by clouds. After a while, however, I noticed Ash fidgeting beside me. I spoke up. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," he said quickly.

"You seem anxious."

"Well," Ash said, his tone unzipping in defeat. "I am –"

"Why?" I asked. "Why are you anxious?"

"Because," he began. "I – I'll be uncomfortable where we're going."

I frowned in confusion. "Where are we going?"

"To a party."

"What!" I exclaimed. "I thought we were Dreamdrifting!"

"We are," Ash said quickly. The red flush was rising around his neck again. "But we're going to a party first."

"Where's the party?" I asked.

"At Everest," he replied.

I digested this. "Whose party is it?"

"Wayfara's," Ash said, blushing still further. "I suppose."

"Is today his birthday?" I asked. "I wish you'd told me. I would have got him a pres –"

"Nope," Ash interrupted. "Not his birthday. Not in that sense, anyway."

Impatience pummeled me. "Just tell me."

"Fine," Ash sighed. Hazel eyes closed. "He's Utopian."

I was stunned. "What?"

"Wayfara's Utopian," he repeated. "My little brother has done it. He has realized his subconscious mind. He is a Utopian."

"Whoa," I breathed. "That's great news!"

"Is it?" Ash barked, his eyes exploding amid hazel landmines. "Is it, Annie? Is it _great_ news?" Ash was breathing hard as he yelled in fury. "He's only twelve! He's too young! He's seven years my junior! And somehow he's, he's..."

"Realized?" I offered timidly.

" _Realized_ ," Ash agreed, expelling a long, heart ripping sigh. We were silent for several moments. "I'm sorry," Ash mumbled, swallowing hard. "That was embarrassing."

I shrugged. "So is stepping in dog poo but we all do it."

Ash chuckled. "Thanks."

"When did he manage it?"

"Sunday night," Ash said.

"Is he ok?" I asked.

"He's fine," Ash replied. "He has recovered. Ever since the Second Great Manifestation, the Utopian transformation has taken a greater toll on the body. That's what Todd told me, anyway."

"Do you like Todd?" I asked curiously.

Ash scratched his arm. "He's alright."

I pressed further. "Are you friends?"

"We're not _not_ friends," Ash said. Everest was rising from the trees, the glass windows of the tower room reflecting a clean, blue sky. Ash parked Magic against the deck. "A decent crowd."

People filled the deck. Many were sitting under shady umbrellas while others stood talking in groups. Still more leaned against the railing, their hands clutching drinks. Some watched our approach, waving merrily. Several new Dreamdrifters were present. Their dreamcatcher tattoos made them obvious, revealed as they were by v-neck shirts and low summer dresses. A buffet table, piled high with delicious looking food, had been erected against the house wall.

"Welcome, friends!" Wayfara, surrounded by friends, was chilling in the shade of an umbrella. "Grab some food, some drink, and come hang out," he encouraged. "The day is beautiful, the people too, and we want you!"

Suddenly, my eyes blurred amidst cream. Todd Arrowheart was smiling beside Wayfara and sporting enormous, sparkly white shades. "This is Todd Arrowheart," Ash said, his introduction unnecessary. "He's Adia's brother. We owe him one for sharing that exam!"

"No worries," Todd said. "And Annie and I already know each other, Ash. We're actually good friends."

"I need food!" I announced, tactfully interrupting their exchange. "Anyone ready for the buffet?"

"I am!" Ash replied. "I skipped breakfast."

"I'll come too," said a voice I recognized.

"Come along then, Lin," Ash invited.

"I will," Divion said. He followed me and Ash to the buffet table, stepping around Ash to talk to me. "How's school, Annie?"

"Good," I answered. "I'm looking forward to dropping out."

"How are your parents?" Divion filled his paper plate. "Dr. McGallagher's excited to become Chair?"

I nodded. "Sure is."

"Excellent," Divion said, walking away. "Nice seeing you, Annie."

Ash filled his spot. "I can see right through him."

I grinned. "Really? Like how?"

Ash shook his head. "Those stupid questions about your parents, about your dad becoming Chair. He just wants to know that he knows the right people."

"So what?" I shrugged. "There's a ton of that in academia," I added, cutting a slice of pie. "Have some. It's apple."

"Alright," he conceded. Grasping our desserts, Ash and I retraced our steps back to Wayfara's table and pulled up seats. Ash looked over his brother. "How are you feeling?"

"Fantasmic!" Wayfara exclaimed, swishing his colored drink.

Ash smiled. "Keeping hydrated?"

His brother winked. "Of course."

Wayfara looked healthy. He was paler than he had been two weeks ago, but his skin seemed bright regardless. His ninja ponytail had been released so that his hair caught the breeze.

"Congratulations, Wayfara," I breathed. "I'm so happy for you! But where are your wings?"

"He's _hiding_ them," said one of Wayfara's friends, a gangly boy. "He hasn't shown us yet, either."

"Aw," I said. "Come on, Wayfara. I wanna see!"

"Me too," Todd said from beneath his dark sunglasses, his creamy smile filling the day. "But he's too shy!"

"Shy?" I repeated. "Why? Are your wings pink with yellow spots?"

" _No_ ," Wayfara protested, staring at Ash. "I – I just..." But Ash, looking resigned, shrugged his shoulders. "Fine!" Wayfara said, turning to the group. "I'll do it, but no _oohing_ and _aahing_. You promise?"

"We promise!" Everyone chorused.

Wayfara put down his drink and stood carefully. "Ok," he announced loudly. "You have all officially bugged me enough!"

"Go Wayfara!" Julian called.

"Whoo!" I added.

Todd gestured in mock disregard. "Whatever."

"Less mouth, more wings!" Ash's reluctant smile was spreading.

Wayfara, it seemed, had been waiting for Ash's words. Stretching, he walked from under the umbrella to a large, clear space of deck. Shooing stragglers, he made space. Everyone was watching him.

"Speech!" Someone cried.

Wayfara was momentarily flustered. And then, lowering his head a fraction, he closed his eyes. A second later enormous and gorgeously plumed gray wings appeared behind him like feathery brilliance.

" _Oooh_! _Aaaah_!" Everyone cooed. Wayfara gave us the finger, a smile huge on his scarlet face. Everyone laughed before clapping loudly, throwing birds from the nearby trees.

" _Fly_!" Someone cried. "Fly, Wayfara!"

"Fly!" Several people yelled. They began to chant. "We want flight! We want flight! We want flight!"

"Give the boy a break." The voice behind me was disparaging. "They're already a howling mob."

Turning in my seat, I watched Julian take Wayfara's. His endlessly tattooed body, though vividly beautiful inside, was stunning in the direct sunlight. He shook his hairless head. "Just watch them," he continued, gesturing to the group now begging Wayfara to fly. "They'll burn him at the stake next."

Todd returned from the buffet table with Cassie in tow. "Dream cookie?" Todd offered, extending the plate. "They're white chocolate chip macadamia nut, right Cassie?"

"Sure are," Cassie replied, tossing her hair.

"Wayfara could use some help," Julian noted, staring past our exchange. "We'd better do something soon."

The crowd was gathered around Wayfara, their increasingly louder pleas for flight threatening to engulf him. They were standing in a semicircle around him and pushing forward.

"I have an idea," Todd said. He went to stand beside Wayfara. Todd raised his hand. "Everyone listen up! Correct my mistake, but it sounds like you all want to see Wayfara fly!"

"Right!" The crowd chorused.

"Awesome!" Todd endorsed. "How'd you like to see me and Wayfara fly together?"

"Yes!" They chanted. "Fly! Fly! Fly!"

"Not what I meant, Todd," Julian muttered behind me.

"Cool?" Todd asked, turning to Wayfara.

A flush of scarlet, not unlike the one I had seen around Ash's neck in times of stress, was now afflicting Wayfara. "Ok," he said quickly, as though daring himself. "Fine, I'm in!"

"To the lawn!"

Cooperation from the spectators was immediate. Grabbing random edibles, the group followed Todd and Wayfara down the deck steps and onto the lawn. The field stretched lazily before our eyes with a green sigh.

"This should be good," Ash commented.

"Entertaining at least," Julian added.

Todd stood ready on the lawn, flexing his mighty black velvet wings. He stretched in the sun, pushing his sunglasses up so that they held back his short dreads. Wayfara was less confident in his preparations. He kept refolding his wings awkwardly. Needing to do something, he retrieved a band and returned his dirty blonde hair to its ninja ponytail. The effect made the self-conscious flush around his neck even more obvious.

"Have you flown yet, Wayfara?" I asked.

Wayfara nodded. "A couple of times, yeah."

"You'll be fine," Ash clarified. I was reminded of the words used to assure me before my exchange with Eli. He had been right then.

"Fly! Fly! Fly!" The crowd was ecstatic.

Wayfara closed his eyes. Unfolding his wings, he began flapping, increasing the rapidity of their motion until his feet lifted from the ground, sending a wave of gasps and woops through the mesmerized crowd.

"Wayfara!" I called. "You're doing it!"

"Lean forward!" Julian yelled. "Balance yourself!"

"And don't clear the trees!" Ash added. "Don't forget you're still visible!"

Todd waited until the youngest Wildecore was sufficiently airborne. Then, wordlessly, he gathered his black wings and launched himself. The scene before my eyes was incredible. Two Utopians, one with gray wings and one with black, were flapping only yards away, treading air like so much endless water. The crowd had been turned to fish.

"Whoa," I breathed.

Ash crossed his arms.

"We'll circle the premises!" Todd shouted. His wings beat the sky as he replaced his shades in midair. "Come on, Wayfara!" Keeping low against the tree fringe and hidden beneath the tall branches, he flew away. Wayfara waved happily to the group before following in Todd's wake, his own filled with the cheers and applause of friends.

"That was so cool!" I exclaimed. I turned to find Ash looking dejected. "What is it?" I asked, sensing his mood. "What wrong?"

"Oh, it's nothing," he sighed, spilling hazel into my eyes. "It's just Mom and Dad would have loved this. You know?"

"Yes," I said. "I know."

The Utopians were coming back now. Todd alighted spectacularly on the lawn before the waiting crowd. Wayfara's arrival was more pedestrian but without an obvious flaw.

"Be right back," Ash said. I watched him go to Wayfara. Closing my eyes, I soaked up the summer day. It had become eclectic with beauty.

"Tired?"

I opened my eyes. Todd Arrowheart had appeared beside me. "Not really," I replied. "Just having a good time. The party is fun."

"Wanna get some dream cookies?" Todd asked.

I nodded. "Sure."

I followed him back to our table. It was now a mess of scattered plates and half empty drinks. Todd frowned at the plate of dream cookies. I quickly found the disturbance. There remained only one, half eaten cookie.

"Let's check inside," Todd suggested. "There might be more in the kitchen or something."

Scratching his dreads, Todd led me inside the house. The kitchen was empty. Sunlight danced across the marble countertops, finding a favorite in the stained glass chandelier.

"Hallelujah!" Todd exclaimed, his steps swift toward the island. "Lots of them!" Scores upon scores of delicious looking dream cookies, each a perfect dreamcatcher, covered the island in plates. His expression was serious. "Do you prefer the hoop or the feathers?" Todd asked. "Or a bit of each?"

"Bit of each," I said, licking my lips. Todd broke a cookie down the middle and handed me half. "Thanks!" Taking a bite of dream cookie, I thought aloud. "Do you think Dr. Boliers will ever come to Everest?"

"He does sometimes," Todd said. "But not much. He's an Awaker like I told. He's not a member of the Holurn. Adia told me that he tried to join the Holurn many years ago but the former Holan turned him away."

Suddenly, Divion hurried into the kitchen from the library. He froze upon seeing Todd and I standing by the island. He gestured to our stationary position. "What are you two doing in here?"

Todd snorted. "Right back 'atcha."

"I was looking for something," Divion said.

Todd nodded. "I'm sure you were." Divion ignored Todd. Instead of replying, he continued to the door. Letting himself out, Divion slammed the door behind him.

My voice was a stammer. "What was that?"

"Wish I knew." Todd stared after Divion.

I stared at Todd. "You don't like him, do you?"

Todd shook his head.

"Why not?" I asked, following up.

"I have my reasons," Todd said, not following up.

Ash walked in from the deck. Frowning, he ran his fingers through his dirty blonde hair. "Did you guys just see Divion?"

"Yeah," Todd said. "He came in here from the library, said he'd been looking for something."

Ash gestured to the deck. "Well he just took off." Shaking his head, Ash turned to me. "Anyway," he said, changing course. "The party's winding down, Annie, should we get on with your training?"

"I'm ready," I said, moving toward Ash. "We're off Dreamdrifting," I explained to Todd. "See you in a bit!"

"Bye," Todd said, smiling creamily.

As we climbed the huge, spiral staircase a question occurred to me. "What's my patient's name today, Ash?"

He said, "Caleb..."

# 12. Caleb

"Everyone in my family has Dreamdrifted from here," Ash said, gazing around at the circular windows. We had climbed into the sunlight of the tower room. Sitting down on the Holan's desk, Ash patted the space beside him. His motions gave me a sudden, horrible twinge of realization as I remembered that Utopians had died in the same space in which I stood.

I joined him. "Should we be sitting on the Holan's desk?"

Ignoring my words, Ash took my hand. "I was very impressed with your performance with Eli," he began. "So I've decided to assign you a more difficult patient. Is that okay?"

I shrugged with a smile. "I'm a natural, remember? Anyway, Eli wasn't an easy patient and I was fine with him."

"That's true," Ash agreed. "Eli was a rough case, but Caleb is on a different level. He's on the verge of committing suicide."

I nodded my acknowledgement.

"He's gay," Ash continued. "And a victim of child sexual abuse."

"Got it!" I said, nodding again. "Alright, let's go!"

Ash stared at me, his face blank.

"What?" I asked.

"You seem very confident," he commented.

I smiled. "You make me confident."

"That's what I was afraid of," Ash said. "Are you sure you want to do this? I can find an easier patient."

"No," I clarified. "I mean yes. I want to help Caleb."

Skipping further deliberation, Ash retrieved the Dreamchest. Opening it carefully, he perused the vials. A minute later we were lying side by side on the couch. Ash pulled me close. I soon realized that he had put something in my hand. I read the name on the vial: Caleb.

I downed the vial without thinking. Once again, the room seemed to turn over before my eyes. I was falling without hitting the floor. And then we were there.

Through closed eyes I could sense this world. The ground beneath me was hard like rock and the surrounding sound was an eerie, roaring silence. Worst of all was the smell. The stench was pulsing and alive, the rotting residue of a trillion bacteria nauseating me. It was terrible, awful.

"Open your eyes." Ash's voice was quiet.

I followed his instruction. Gasping in fear, I took a step backward. We were on the edge of a cliff. The very edge, only feet away from where we stood, disappeared into a dark chasm, its void screaming.

"Shh," Ash whispered, squeezing my hand. "We're safe."

My eyes were stinging, beset upon by the dense, swirling smog that besieged from all sides. The air was like acid gas.

"This place is insane," Ash breathed. "I knew that our luck wouldn't last. Josephine's subconscious was beautiful. Eli's subconscious was fascinating. But this is terri –"

"Ash," I interrupted, turning to his whirring dreamcatcher. "I'm ready. Just point me in the right direction."

Nodding his understanding, Ash pulled me forward so that we approached the cliff's edge. Its rocky contours cascaded downward into nothingness. Ducking low to the rock, Ash fell to his knees and crawled even closer to the edge. I followed him. Still, nothing could be glimpsed below.

"He's down there," Ash whispered.

I shook my head. "How am I supposed to get down?"

"Rope," Ash breathed. "There has to be a rope. Hold on." Retracing his steps, Ash stood. "Be right back." Moving slowly back along the cliff's edge, Ash began searching.

"Be careful!" I hissed. For some unknown reason, our voices had become identically hushed. Ash returned. He was carrying a large bundle over his shoulder. I squinted through the gloom. "Rope?"

"Even better," Ash said. "A rope ladder."

"Good," I replied. "A rope was going to be terrible."

Ash fastened the rope ladder to an outward jutting piece of cliff rock. Fortunately, I had never feared heights. Regardless, I didn't allow myself to contemplate the strength of Ash's knots. Tugging the ladder for security, I climbed onto the apparatus. I already knew I would be journeying alone.

Ash shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"I know," I replied.

"Remember," Ash began, distracting himself. "You can't tell him or touch him. You can only show him. You know what to say if you get into trouble. You will awake safe and unharmed. Annie –" Nearly over the rim of the cliff, I poked my head up to look at my boyfriend. Was the tear on his cheek just a product of the stinging smog? "I'm proud of you."

"Ash, I –"

"Go!" Ash insisted.

Heeding him, I lowered myself further.

I descended into the abyss. Step after step, rung after rung, I kept moving. Dark void poured in from all sides, drenching me. The cliff wall was alone visible apart from the ladder itself. The violent, polluted smell traveling upward bloodied my nose and the acid smog wreaked havoc on my vision, making it difficult for my crying eyes to see the next wrung. I had to close my eyes against the barrage. Sightless, I descended still further. After what felt like hours, I opened my eyes.

I could see the bottom. Distracted, I stopped. The scenery below was incredible. Surrounding me were multicolored mountains. Some rose nearly to my height on the ladder. Others were shorter, appearing crushed inward as though exploded by dynamite. Patches of flat space wove between the mountains, creating pathways. Closing my eyes again, I continued down until I reached the bottom. I stepped from the ladder, coughing on the acid air. I opened my eyes.

It was a landfill.

Heaps upon heaps of garbage were everywhere, building higher and higher into the sickening sky until they appeared mountains. What I had perceived as walkways were patches of ground unhindered by trash and covered with dirty, gray sand. The path beneath me stretched in two directions.

I had to get moving. This subconscious afflicted my every sense. The horrible stench, the masses of garbage, the acid air, and the screaming silence combined to attack me. Wiping my eyes, I considered both directions. Choosing the right side path, I began walking hurriedly. Caleb was here somewhere.

A refrigerator passed on my left side while an array of torn, dirty clothes was piled on the right. Further along, the sliding door of a van passed on the right while a menagerie of plastic flowed from the left. The sheer amount of garbage was gross and unbelievable.

Finding nobody, I allowed my pace to slow. I was traversing an enormous landfill and failing to find Caleb. What should I do? The answer crashed in my head. I had experienced this problem before. Refueled, I continued on my path, my eyes stretching to a broken clog on the road.

"Caleb!" I shouted. "Caleb!" The silence that followed was complete. Looking over my shoulder, I continued. "Cale –" But his name died on my tongue. Brain blurring in disbelief, I stared at the deathly horizon.

There, growing like a titanic red vine turned to rage was a fire, its body spewing black smoke into the poisoned sky like a rabid dragon. Taking an involuntary backward step, I tripped over a juice carton and fell to the ground. My nerves zapped, I jumped to my feet and ran.

Survival was the objective now. I had to distance myself from that burning menagerie of flame. So long as the path existed, the only fast lane amid the garbage, I could outrun it.

After awhile, however, I allowed myself to slow and eventually stop completely. My brow was sweating and my eyes streaking with the accelerated acidity of escape. Wiping them, I panted the sickening air. I could feel the poison in my lungs.

"Hi," said a voice.

Seizing up in shock, my consciousness could only feel numb limbs and risen hairs. My muscles had cast me into a solid. The voice had been high but male, the voice of an early teenager.

"I heard you," the voice continued.

I found my body again. With closed eyes I turned toward the voice. For once I was ready for the monster that awaited me. I opened my eyes. Confused, I stared around. Nobody was there. Only trash heaps filled the center and periphery of my vision. But there had been a voice. Blinking several times, I cleared the acid from my eyes. And then I saw him. He was sitting on a flat piece of scrap metal, his back facing a mountain of debris.

Caleb was neither frightening to behold, as Josephine had been, nor horrifying to behold, as Eli had been. Caleb was filthy to behold. He was so filthy in fact that I couldn't even glimpse skin or hair around the trash that coated his entire body. His form was the shape and size of a boy, but all else was covered in garbage.

"You – you're Caleb?" I gasped.

He nodded. "You're not here to hurt me, are you?"

"No," I said. "Of course not!"

He looked relieved.

Approaching him carefully, I saw that one of his trash coated hands was holding a stick. He played with it absently, carving up the gray sand around his feet. One foot was a ripped tissue box and the other a smashed remote controlled car.

"May I sit?" I asked.

"I guess," he said.

I sat down next to him on the scrap metal. I was attempting to unscramble my brain and concentrate. Caleb's stick continued to glide over the sand. I had to start somewhere. "Why are you covered in trash?"

"I'm not," he said.

Watching him, I saw that even his eyes and ears had been entirely covered over with garbage. One of his eyes was a plastic bottle cap pierced with a tack, the other a Reese's cup wrapper, its pupil a scrunched piece of tape. One ear was half of a juice box, the other a broken container of floss.

"Yes you are," I contended. "Why?"

"I'm not covered in trash," Caleb repeated.

"Of course you are," I said, gesturing to his midriff which resembled multicolored paper Mache and then to the used straws that erupted from his head like hair. "You're covered in trash, Caleb. How'd this hap –"

"I'm not covered in trash," he interrupted. "I am trash."

I stared at him in disbelief. "You're what?"

"Trash," he repeated. "I am trash. Not covered in it."

"That's ridiculous." I shook my head. "Nobody is trash."

He shrugged. "I am."

I needed to understand Caleb before I could help him. The problem was that I didn't understand him yet, or what he was telling me. I had to stall for time while I thought it over. "What is this place?"

Caleb blinked. "Home."

"How long have you lived here?"

"My whole life," he said.

My brain was a congested highway of question marks. I couldn't think in this place, couldn't reason. Sensing my weakness, the deafening silence pushed against me from all sides, bludgeoning my resolve. Regardless, I was not yet conquered. Thinking hard, I gazed in the direction I had come.

Horror hit my heart. Leaping to my feet, I gestured in terrified shock. "Fire! Fire! There's a fire! We have to run for it!" I had been so distracted by Caleb that I had completely forgotten about the blaze. The fire was larger now, a red vulture on the horizon line, indiscriminate and hungry.

Caleb slowly looked up at me. The flames were getting closer every second. They had appeared unnaturally fast, spurred forward by the demons of the abyss. We had to move.

"We have to run!" I gestured to the fire. "It's right there!"

Caleb gazed into the flames. "The fire has always been there."

I stared at him, disbelieving. There was no time for this. The fire was only fifty feet away now, roaring before devouring everything and leaving only ash in its wake. Staring into the licking flames, my pulse quickened.

"Caleb," I breathed. "We have to leave. If we run we can make it. We'll follow the path. Do you know the way through?"

Closing his eyes, Caleb's voice was a whisper. "Trash will burn."

"What?" I gasped. "Caleb, we have to run!"

"Trash will burn," he whispered again. The flames were near. I could feel their voluptuous heat.

"Caleb!" I yelled through the smoke. "We have to run!"

Heat poured over me like a tsunami. The monstrosity of flame had arrived. It was no longer a specter on the horizon but a demon on the doorstep. Towering above us, the wall of flame consumed the closest mountain of debris, eating furiously amid its rocketing sparks and crackling hunger.

"Caleb!" I screamed. "Caleb! You'll die!" But he would not stand. Caleb continued to sit on the scrap metal, his eyes on the coming flames. He was beginning to glow red, the trash of his body already under attack. "Please!" I screamed. "Please run! Please!"

"Trash will burn," he murmured.

"Run Caleb!"

He shook his head. "Trash will burn!" Caleb's voice was rising. "I am trash and trash will burn! Trash will burn!"

We had seconds. Choking on the billowing smoke, I ran forward and grabbed his arm. "Run! We can make it! Caleb! NO!" Caleb's arm disintegrated around my grip. The pieces fell to the ground. "No," I moaned, collapsing beside him. I hugged him to me. "No..."

Caleb's head rested on my shoulder. His body was already on fire, the flames eating him from inside. The searing melee swirled around us, engulfing everything. I held his broken body.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled. "Forgive me, Caleb!"

"Trash will burn!" Caleb screamed.

"No!" I screamed louder. "Forgive me!"

I was delirious, screaming to be heard.

"FORGIVE ME, CALEB!

CALEB, FORGIVE ME!

FORGIVE ME, ALEXI!

CALEB!

ALEXI!"

"ANNIE!"

I opened streaming eyes.

Adia Arrowheart was hugging my quaking body, her eyes wide. "Annie! Annie! You're home, you're safe!" She had never called me Annie before. No sooner had I registered the circular room with its many windows then I burst into tears, the whole of my being sobbing with misery. Adia held me close. I could feel the electric pulse of her warmth.

"They're gone!" I cried. "I couldn't save them! Caleb, Alexi –"

"I know," Adia whispered. "I know..."

# 13. The Teacher

Caleb was dead. He had committed suicide. There was no escaping that fact, none for him and less for me. Ash had driven me home on Tuesday night. The journey had been made in silence. I had failed Caleb. I had failed my responsibilities as a Dreamdrifter. I had failed Ash and I had failed myself.

My only distraction was schoolwork. It was the Friday morning of Adia's final exam. Ash had once again procured the exam from Todd and Ash and I had spent time studying over the last two days. Now we were driving to college, he to take an exam and me to take my last exam.

Ash observed my silence from the driver's seat. "You can't blame yourself."

Releasing my lip, I returned his gaze. "I failed him," I whispered. "I couldn't figure him out. I never should have tried to become a Dreamdrif –"

"I never should have let you into his subconscious," Ash interrupted. "That was _my_ poor oversight. I knew Caleb was suicidal, but I didn't think he would do it _that_ day. The point is I _should_ have known. It's my fault."

I bit my lip again. "Caleb was _my_ responsibility," I began. "He was my patient and I fai –"

"What are you going to do?" Ash interrupted. "Spend the rest of your life mourning his? What do you think doctors do when they lose a patient? They move on, Annie! They move on with their lives! We're the same, we're doctors of the subconscious, and we have to move on too!"

I was silent as I considered him.

"You're still blaming yourself," Ash said cheekily.

"Maybe," I allowed. "But I don't need you analyzing me, Ash. My parents do that enough."

"Fine then," he said. "I won't. Speaking of analyzing people, let's do some practice questions." He thought for a second. "Your patient holds a belief that isn't true. He sees evidence that contradicts his belief and continues to believe it regardless. He takes no medication and doesn't have schizophrenia. What's your diagnosis?"

My fingers combed my hair. "That's easy: delusional disorder."

Ash laughed. "You _did_ study hard. Here's a harder one: who first popularized the terms introversion and extroversion?"

"Carl Jung," I answered.

"Nice!" Ash said. "What else is he known for?"

I had to think for a moment. "The collective unconscious theory?"

"Yup!" Ash said appreciatively. "His theory is completely wrong but a cool idea nonetheless. Here's a _much_ harder question: what is the name of Sigmund Freud's book?"

"That's easy," I scoffed. " _The Interpret_ –"

"In _German_ ," Ash specified.

"Are you serious? I don't know."

" _Die Traumdeutung_."

I rolled my eyes. "Like knowing that could actually ever _help_ anybody. And I know that won't be on the exam."

"Probably not," Ash agreed.

We arrived at Carroll Community College. The parking lot seemed emptier than it had been at the beginning of term. Many students had likely dropped their courses throughout the summer session. I hadn't dropped my course. Instead, I had dropped college all together.

Adia Arrowheart was purple today. She was wearing a short summer dress with scrunchy shoulder bands. The dreamcatcher earrings were back and the enormous dreamcatcher necklace succeeded again in hiding the real thing. She stood waiting behind the teacher's desk as students filled the room.

"Everything off the desks," Adia ordered. "And remain in your seats," she added. "I will distribute the exam momentarily. Studiers, have no worries. Procrastinators, best of luck!"

Retrieving the stack of papers from her desk, Adia walked down the center of the room and began distributing exams. She handed me two exams before pausing at my desk. "See me after class, Ms. McGallagher," Adia said, continuing down the aisle. "But wait until the others have left."

Ash leaned closer to me. "What do you think that was about?"

"I don't know," I replied. "Todd helping us out?"

Ash stared after Adia. "But then why let us take the exam at all?"

"No talking!" Adia had turned abruptly from the back of the room. "There will be no more talking. I will deduct a point for each word spoken. Therefore, I suggest silence. An exam is underway."

"No duh!" Ash muttered.

"And there goes your perfect score, Mr. Wildecore," Adia inflicted. "You're already down two points. I hope you've studied. There will be no extra credit, there will be no curve," she continued, addressing the room now. "There will only be silence from this point on."

The next hour was spent listening to Ash fume while I took the exam. Todd had been true. The exam was an exact replica of the one we had studied. Ash took longer to complete the exam than I did, although perhaps he was double checking his answers. I hadn't bothered. I just didn't care anymore. While many of the students around me had years left in college, I had only minutes.

Everyone finished the exam within the hour. Students stood at random and handed Adia their exams before departing. Some of the girls uttered soft words as they handed their papers over, but the guys simply nodded before exiting, leaving Adia and perhaps psychology behind them forever.

Finally, Ash and I were alone with the teacher. Standing, we walked to her desk. After handing Adia our exams, we waited for her to finish packing her documents. Adia zipped up her dark leather bag before nodding to the classroom door. "My office is down the hall."

"Y'know," Ash interjected. "You could just talk to Annie _here_ now that the room is empty."

"I prefer my office," Adia said. "Mr. Wildecore, you may politely reserve your observations for matters that concern your business. I have a meeting with Annie and Annie _only_."

Ash shrugged.

"Follow me, Annie," Adia instructed.

Dragging my feet, I followed her down the hall and into her office. Ash followed in our wake, eventually electing to wait just outside the door. Adia's office wasn't large. Two people could sit comfortably with the desk between them, but there was little room for much else.

"Please sit down," Adia said.

Her tone, usually so forceful in the classroom, had changed noticeably. Adia was soft spoken in her own workspace. Sitting, I gazed around the small area. The assortment of plagues and posters surrounding her desk were an unexciting bunch: a map of America, quotes from famous psychologists, Adia's doctoral certificate, and a beautiful watercolor of an icy dreamcatcher.

Sitting herself, Adia stared at me from across the desk. Tingles spread through me. I knew this feeling. Adia was analyzing me. My parents gave me the same feeling all the time.

"How was the exam?" Adia asked. "Difficult?"

I bit my lip. "The exam was fine."

Unsatisfied, Adia shook her head. "Easy, difficult, average?"

"Easy, I guess." My tone was reluctant.

Adia watched me closely. "I would hope the exam was easy, Annie, considering that both you and Mr. Wildecore cheated by attaining a filled out copy prior to taking it. You have broken the honor code of Carroll Community College. Both of you could face expulsion."

Blood was hot in my ears and cold in my heart. Horrible images came to me. I was in the hall telling Ash we'd been found out. I was sitting at the kitchen table telling Dad, the Chair of psychology at Hopkins University, that I had been caught cheating. Both scenarios were awful to contemplate.

"I can explain!" I gasped. "It's not what it looks –"

"It's _exactly_ what it looks like," Adia interrupted. Her legs were crossed, her hands gathered to her lap, her entire being composed of nothing but crystallized confidence. "However," she continued. "I will not report you to the school ethics board, nor will I submit the necessary papers for your expulsion." Adia was smiling now. "Aren't you going to ask me why?"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because," Adia began. "If I were to inform the ethics board about your misconduct, I would also have to inform them about mine."

I stared at her in confused fascination. "What?"

"Do you really think Todd would have gone behind my back and given away exams?" Adia asked, twisting her hair between her fingers. "And even worse, given them away for free?"

"I didn't –" I stuttered

"Of course you didn't," Adia sighed. "Annie, I instructed Todd to give Ash the exam. I knew that Ash, once in possession of the exam, would share it with you. I filled out the duplicate myself. You really think Todd would have written such elaborate answers?"

This revelation hit me like a piano falling from the sky, its tickled ivories laughing at me. "I don't know," I admitted. "I've been too distracted recently to notice. I've been thinking about _him_."

"About Caleb?"

I nodded.

"You blame yourself for his death," Adia said. She wasn't asking.

I nodded again.

" _Don't_ ," Adia said. "Don't blame yourself. Don't think blame, don't feel blame, don't live blame, don't believe blame. It's not your fault. Fate will find fruition even in the fractured heart."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Annie," Adia said. "You were _meant_ to become a Dreamdrifter."

I shook my head. "Anyone can say that about anything."

Adia ignored this. "You were meant to become a Dreamdrifter," she repeated. "I've known it for years."

"Fine," I scoffed. "For how many years have you known it?"

"Six," she answered. "Have you ever heard of the Newcomer?"

I stared at her. Was this really happening? Was I about to discuss the Newcomer with Adia Arrowheart herself? The Utopian who had prophesied the Newcomer's arrival? The same that was responsible for the Second Great Manifestation and the deaths of so many Utopians?

"Yes," I breathed. "I have."

"Well then," Adia began. "You should know that you were meant to become a Dreamdrifter, Annie. The Newcomer is the reason for that eventuality. After all, you're his sister!"

I stared. "You are _insane_ ," I whispered. "Why are you doing this?"

"I'm telling you because it's the truth," she said. "And you should know."

"That is ridiculous," I deemed loudly. "I don't have a brother!"

"Now that!" Adia's voice rang above mine. "Is _ridiculous_!"

"Alexi is dead!" I hissed. "Why are you doing this?"

Adia leaned forward. "Because I realized that I _have_ to do this," she explained. "I couldn't hide anymore, not from you. I realized it while you were in my arms. Until then I had never taken responsibility for the suffering you have endured. And then you were in my arms and I could feel it. It wasn't just Caleb. I felt a lifetime of suffering and I am responsible."

"I don't understand," I said, wiping my eyes.

"Alexi was the Newcomer," Adia said. "He was born seconds after the Second Great Manifestation had failed, after I had failed. He was then killed, poisoned. With him died our hopes of Holurnial unification, our hopes for the ascendance of man. You're the Newcomer's sister, Annie."

I shook my head. "He died of a heart attack. My parents told me."

"Your parents lied," Adia said. "They could hardly face the truth themselves let alone tell their twelve year old daughter. To this day they probably assume that Alexi's death was an accident, not murder."

I gasped. "You think it was murder?"

"I don't know," Adia responded. "I just don't know, Annie."

"But I still don't understand," I protested. "Alexi was _human_."

Adia nodded sadly. "Alexi was and is a phenomenon. A Dreamdrifter has _never_ been born of two human parents. Many Dreamdrifters have been born of a single Dreamdrifter parent and the children of human parents have _become_ and attempted to become Dreamdrifters like you're doing now. But Alexi was the first and _last_ Dreamdrifter born of two human parents."

I smiled despite myself. "How'd he do it?"

"We don't know," Adia conceded. "Dreamdrifter genealogists have researched the case, but none have found even ancient Dreamdrifter blood in either the McGallagher or Beonto lines. It's a mystery. Alexi _was_ the seed of two very gifted psychologists who copulated during their intellectual primes, but –"

I closed my eyes to forestall her. I didn't need to hear about my parents copulating at any time, whether in their primes or otherwise. In any case, learning that my baby brother had been the Newcomer felt like just another puzzle piece, not the answer.

"But don't blame yourself," Adia said, changing course. "We all screw up, Annie. I am responsible for so much suffering. Regardless, I wake up every day and promise myself that I _will_ do better, I _will_ grow, and I _will_ continue to do good work. You will too."

"But I –" But I was interrupted.

Ash burst into the room, hazel eyes wide.

"Mr. Wildecore," Adia said, immediately reverting back to her classroom style. "Ms. McGallagher and I are still in session. Please wait outside until our session has concluded."

I smiled at Ash. "She knows we cheated."

"Whoops!" Ash exclaimed, smiling and turning to Adia. "Good thing I'm your student elsewhere and Annie's quitting college, huh?"

Adia actually smiled back. "True, Mr. Wildecore," she said. "Before you interrupted our conversation, I was telling Annie that I instructed my brother to share the exams with you."

"That's like _really_ embarrassing," Ash said. "Why'd you do that?"

Adia relaxed in her chair. "I figured that with you working to become Utopian and Annie working to become a Dreamdrifter, both of you had enough occupying your brains without studying for an intro level psych class."

Ash frowned. "What about my two deducted points?"

"You will both be receiving an A in the course," Adia announced.

"Cheers to that!" Ash offered his fist for a bump. Adia ignored him and so I filled in, finding a laugh as I did.

Adia gazed at Ash. "Did you interrupt for a reason, Mr. Wildecore?"

"Oh yeah!" Ash said happily. "Julian just called. Caleb is alive!"

# 14. The Ladder

"How did Caleb survive?"

Flooring the clutch, Ash shifted Magic into third as we sped away from Carroll Community College. "It wasn't voluntary," Ash answered. "They pumped his stomach at the hospital. He attempted to overdose on medication and came very close. The preliminary report sounded final. Anyway," he continued. "What did you need from home?"

I shook my head. "I shouldn't say."

"Why not?"

"I'm supposed to do this alone," I replied calmly.

"So you're going to Caleb?" Ash asked. "You're going _back_?"

"Yes," I said.

Ash glanced over from behind the wheel. "You sure about this?"

"I'm going," I said flatly. "I'm returning to Caleb's subconscious. I'm going to try again and _this_ time I have a plan. I've already failed him once, Ash. I _must_ try again."

Home was fast approaching. Ten minutes later we reached the descending driveway to my house. Ash didn't park but lulled the toy bus in neutral just outside of my front door.

"I'll just be a second," I promised, and dashed inside. Oscar was chilling in the cave. He bounded forward upon seeing me. "Not now, Oscar," I said. "But I'll tell you everything later." Surprisingly, Oscar seemed satisfied.

Upstairs, I gazed around my room. I _had_ to find it. And that was the problem. Finding anything in my room besides my bed was a formidable task. The surrounding mess of junk threatened to upend my hope. I searched hurriedly, hearing the ticking of time.

Suddenly, I saw it. The object was on my desk. It could hardly have been more obvious. Breathing deeply, I crossed the room. Stowing the object in the pocket of my jeans, I went back downstairs. I had what I needed. Now all I needed was for my plan to succeed.

"Did you find it?" Ask asked. "Did you find the thingy?"

"Yup," I replied.

"Excellent!" Ash exclaimed. Soon we were back on the road and speeding toward Everest. Ash, gazing over occasionally from the wheel, noted my loud silence. "Are you nervous?"

"A little," I admitted. "But that's not what's on my mind."

He watched me curiously. "So what _is_ on your mind?"

"I can't figure it out," I began. "Why would Alexi have needed invisibility?"

Ash nodded. "I wondered about that too," he said. "My guess is that the elder Utopians were worried that he'd realize his subconscious while still a baby. They probably needed a way to hide his wings."

Farmland had turned to forest. My only hope was in my pocket collecting lint. A glimpse of white caught me through the trees. We had arrived. Pulling the toy bus up to the deck, Ash parked Magic. Walking up the steps and into the house, Ash and I found the kitchen empty. The library and living room were similarly occupied.

I looked around. "Where is everybody?"

"Beats me," Ash answered.

I followed him up the long, winding staircase and into the upstairs hallway. Anxiety was beginning to crawl over me again. Following Ash further, I walked through the sunlit hall under the Holan's study and up the spiral staircase.

In the tower room, Ash turned to me. "You don't have to do this."

I swallowed my anxiety. "Yes, I do."

"I'm serious," Ash said. "You can still become a Dreamdrifter, Annie. Just help someone else. You don't have to torture yourself. Dreamdrifting requires self knowledge, not self affliction!"

"I'm going," I stated. My resolve was unflinching. "Get me the vial, Ash."

In a matter of seconds, Ash had retrieved and handed me the small glass vial. Reclining on the sofa, I rested my head on a cushion. Ash joined me, the weight of his muscular body filling the space behind me. Nearly spilling the vial in haste, I opened the top. The liquid was clear and undisturbed. I downed it.

Descending into the subconscious mind, regardless of my practice, was hard to get used to. The room seemed to rise and then turn over in a tumult of gravitational chaos. And then we were falling through the floor. Darkness gushed past me in a roar of speed. Then it stopped. We were there.

I opened my eyes. They burned red hot as dense, black smoke forced itself upon them. I immediately shut them again. Grappling with my hand, I found Ash's. "What is this?" I choked on the suffocating air. "What happened?"

"There's been a fire," Ash said. "We're back on the cliff. Can you feel the rock beneath you?"

"Yes," I answered.

Ash squeezed my hand. "Sit down right where you are," he said. "We're near the precipice." He lowered with me as I sat on the rocky cliff top. "I'll be right back," he coughed. "Keep your eyes closed!"

Caleb's subconscious mind had changed drastically. Last time this underworld had been a litany of everything poisonous, but now the litany was gone and replaced by a single killer.

Smoke, dense, indestructible, billowing smoke pushed against me from every side, its blackness ready to swallow me whole. There was no escaping the choking melee. Laying my head on my upturned knees, I covered it with my arms.

Ash returned. Again he carried the rope ladder over his shoulder. I remained sitting while Ash went about fastening the ladder. "It's holding," Ash said, tugging firmly on the ladder. "Come try it for size." Scooping myself up, I went to him in the dark. I could barely see him through the smoke. Climbing on the ladder, I started lowering myself down the rungs. "Hold up!" Ash called, forestalling me. I waited for his follow up. However, none came.

"Ash, wha –" But I was interrupted by his lips soaking mine, thrilling me with bliss. How strange it was to taste the sweetness of honey and the warmth of gold amid the bleakness of a suffocating world.

"That one," Ash said, breaking away. "Is for the road."

My smile was obscured in smoke. "Don't you mean the ladder?"

"Anywhere," he said. "Take it with you."

"I will," I promised. "But I'd prefer wings right now."

His laugh turned to a hacking cough. "That makes two of us."

Descending the ladder this time was even worse than before. The swirling smog had turned to billowing smoke, the stinging stench in my nose had turned to a singing burn in my throat, and my eyes were already crying. Burning sensations were everywhere, both outside surrounding and inside abounding.

I reached the bottom of the abyss. Gargantuan smoke plumes billowed from fires that still raged. However, these fires were contained unlike the roaring, massacring machine that had filled the horizon before. Looking up, I saw the massive smoke plumes growing larger as they rose, filling the open air above. Now I understood the blackness of the cliff top.

The landfill had been leveled by the rage of the fire. The multicolored mountains were gone, their majestically rising layers of garbage reduced to a charred, rubbish strewn wasteland. The pathways I had used before had collapsed under the onslaught. Regardless, the abyss was at least navigable now. The fury of the fire had eventually destroyed everything including itself.

I had to find Caleb.

Peering around, I saw nothing and nobody. I began to walk in earnest. There was no path to follow this time, no illusion of progress. There existed only me, myself, and my doubts. I pushed forward, my eyes keen on the landscape.

The scrap metal was alone intact after the fire, although the piles were blackened and soot stained. At least the scenery had been colorful before. Now everything was homogenized into darkness.

"Caleb!" I yelled randomly. I cupped my hands. "Caleb! Cale –" A cough forced me to stop. "Caleb!" I continued. "Caleb!"

"Yes?" A voice replied.

I spun around. "Caleb!"

He was there. I had walked right passed him. Upon seeing him, however, I understood why I had gone unawares. Caleb's appearance, like everything else, had changed. He was covered in soot, the trash of his skin wrinkled with burning char. But I knew he was the same boy I had already known.

"Hi," I breathed.

Caleb blinked lopsidedly. The tack punctured bottle cap of his left eye had survived. His Reese's cup eye, however, had burned badly so that it curled inward, half blinding him. The rest of his body appeared similarly, some parts having survived while others were reduced to unrecognizable char. His arm had reattached and looked like baked tar.

I watched him closely. "May I sit?"

"I suppose," he allowed.

Sitting next to him, I gazed over the landscape of his subconscious. I was struck by how far I could see, how far my vision went unobstructed. The horizon was no longer a fiery red but a deathly black.

I stared into the distance. "I'm glad you survived the fire, Caleb."

"Oh," he said. "You know about that?"

"Yes," I said. "I know." Caleb retrieved an object from the ground. I recognized it immediately. It was the walking stick. It had survived the fire. He began carving out the ash around our feet. "Caleb?" I asked slowly, watching his strokes. "Why do you still live here?"

"What?" Caleb asked.

"There's been a fire," I remarked. "So shouldn't you move _away_?"

"No," he said, staring at his stick. "This is my home. _This_ is me."

"What is you?"

"Trash," he replied.

This boy was impossible. Caleb really believed what he was saying, really believed that he was trash. Something inside of me, something instinctual, instructed me to talk before attempting my plan.

"Listen," I said. "You are _not_ trash."

Caleb almost laughed. The laugh, however, turned to a hacking cough so that he doubled over, wheezing into a charred hand. "I'm not trash?" Caleb asked incredulously, righting himself. "Look at me!"

"You are not trash," I repeated. "You are _covered_ in trash!"

"You're wrong," he said. "I am trash. I'm _covered_ in ash and char."

I sighed heavily. This was going nowhere. I would have to attempt my original plan. But what if it failed? It was unimaginable, the thought of returning to Ash with nothing, a failure _again_.

"I brought you something," I told him. "But I'm wondering whether I should give it to you now or later."

"Now!" Caleb exclaimed, nearly dropping his walking stick. "Please! Can I have it now?" His lopsided eyes blinked excitedly.

Hand trembling, I reached into my pocket. My shaking fingers grasped the small, breakable object. I retrieved the item. It was my grandmother's small, handheld mirror. "Take this," I said quietly. "And tell me what you see."

Caleb took the mirror. He lifted it to his face. He dropped the walking stick. Caleb blinked in the stunned space between his remaining eye and the mirror, his jaw falling in unrestrained disbelief.

I closed my eyes. "What do you see?"

"I – I'm..." But he couldn't say it.

"Yes," I answered. "You are."

Caleb stared at his reflection in the mirror, his charred expression dazed in shock. He swallowed hard. "Can I have this? _Please_?"

"Yes," I said. "But not the mirror. The mirror was my grandmother's and is mine. If you follow me, though, I will take you to where you will find what you see. Will you follow me?"

Caleb didn't blink. "Yes."

"Will you follow me _now_?"

"Yes," he said.

Standing, I reclaimed the mirror. I put the heirloom back in my jeans pocket. Caleb gathered himself to my side. The walking stick remained on the ground. It was time to move on.

We journeyed toward the rope ladder. Its descending vertical flight was only just visible in the distance. The dark horizon was already fading into light. This underworld was about to be lost by someone found.

"Are we really leaving?" Caleb asked.

I nodded. "Yes."

We had arrived at the ladder.

"You first," I instructed.

Grasping the ladder, I held it steady. Caleb lifted his charred, torn tissue box foot onto the bottom rung before following it with the other. He began to climb. Waiting for him to get higher, I gazed around for a second before clambering on myself. I stared at the cliff wall while ascending, impatient to leave this place behind. However, I was soon distracted.

Blackened, soot covered debris was falling around me. Occasionally, a small piece would bounce off my head or shoulders. None were large enough to cause me any harm. And I had my joyous suspicions.

Though smoke plumes still billowed upward ceaselessly, I could at least see now. I continued to climb tenaciously. When I was nearly to the top, Ash poked his head over the edge.

"Annie!" Ash shouted happily. "Hurry! Wait till you see him!"

"What?" I called.

He leaned over the cliff's edge. "Come on!" Ash said excitedly. "Hurry! You've got to see him!" Pushing my legs up the final rungs, I grasped Ash's hand. Lifting me from the ladder, Ash brought me safely to the cliff top. He dusted me off fussily. "Isn't he something!"

And then I saw the boy standing next to Ash. This young teenager was nobody I recognized. The ginger hair that covered his forehead was eccentric above freckles and green eyes that were springing with life. He was beautiful.

Caleb rubbed his eyes. "I don't like this place," he said quietly. "It hurts."

"So leave," I whispered, closing my own eyes. "This place is no longer you. You can wake up now, Caleb. It's only a dream." I opened my eyes. Caleb had vanished. Hazel eyes alone reflected mine.

"Take me home, Ash," I said. "You say the word this time."

"No," Ash said. I stared at him. He was serious. "I won't say the word," Ash continued. "Until _you_ tell me what you are." I frowned in confusion. And then I understood.

My whisper was a word. " _Dreamdrifter..._ "

# 15. The Dreamdrifter

The dreamcatcher in my room had fallen to the floor while I slept. I awoke to it gracing my chest, the ink of its loops winding into curls. There was no other explanation, there was no other answer.

I had become a Dreamdrifter.

My dream was awake.

Ash and I were traversing the grounds at Everest. The shadow dappled lawn lay contentedly above the still earth. Evening had arrived, the coming of the day's demise undeniable. We walked within the shadow of the trees. Some distance away, a single firefly lit his tail.

"Look," Ash said, pointing. "A torch in darkness."

I took Ash's hand before gazing down at my dreamcatcher. "I don't remember choosing this."

With oceans of a dark blue and continents of a dark green, the dreamcatcher on my chest was a beautifully rendered earth. The continents were enveloped within a silky web of brown beads while the waters of the sea poured downward into restless, flowing feathers.

Ash stared at my chest. "What are your parents going to say?"

I smiled. "I'll be wearing more modest clothing from now on," I replied. "How do these things work, anyway?"

"You touch it and say a name," Ash said.

"That's it? That's all?"

"That's all, that's it," Ash answered.

Approaching the house again, we tread on growing shadows. Like a flying fox evening had fled into night. Ash pulled me closer. The heat of his body seemed to ripple down from his muscular arms.

Hazel eyes watched me silently, coming closer before drenching me in honey residue. Giving the warmth of his kiss to the cold of my lips, Ash filled me. I could taste his gold.

He pulled me in the direction of the deck. "Come on. Let's go inside."

"Ash?" I followed in his wake, wanting an answer to the question now eating me. "Do you think Coraline will let me join the Holurn?"

"She better," he replied, squeezing my hand. "Because I'm proud of you, Annie. I'm proud to be your teacher, I'm proud to be your boyfriend, and I'm proud to be your friend. I love you, Annie." Before I had time enough to respond, Ash had pulled me through the door and into the kitchen.

" _SURPRISE_!"

I gaped around the room. Coraline, Wayfara, Todd, Julian, and Cassie stood in a semicircle around the kitchen, their smiles huge. My eyes found the cake. It was sitting on the island, its many cream encrusted layers dusting my mouth with saliva and my eyes with sugar. Best of all, it was shaped like a dreamcatcher.

"Ash!" I exclaimed, turning to his blushing face. "You didn't have to do this! And what a yummy looking cake!"

"Shame it's only for dessert," Wayfara commented, gazing at the cream encrusted feathers. "If I were cooking that'd be dinner!"

"If _you_ were cooking," Coraline began. "You would eat the whole thing yourself! There's no harm in waiting. We'll have a tasty dessert!"

"Thanks you guys," I said.

Todd's smile was creamier than the cake. "No worries."

"Let's skip dinner," Wayfara suggested. "It's cake time!"

Cassie frowned from the oven. "I'm happy," she said. "That the cake is appreciated, but I have just spent the last hour making a surprise dinner and we're _not_ skipping it!"

"How's it coming?" Coraline asked.

"Nearly done, Holan," Cassie replied, her voice rippling with satisfaction as she moved a pot to a new burner. "I'm cooking an entire salmon," she added. "We've got Caesar salad, baked potatoes, and lima beans for our veggies. The fish needs another five minutes to broil. I've got the Arrowhearts covered!"

"Thanks, Cass."

Adia had arrived. She leaned against the doorway into the kitchen, her attire a deluge of enveloping black. For the first time she had chosen to reveal the curling flow of her dreamcatcher.

"You always were good to us pescetarians, Cassie," Todd remarked. "We never should have moved out!"

"Too late!" Cassie laughed. "But I could still use your help. Todd, if you could grab the salad and some plates that would be great. Everyone grab something!" Cassie called aloud. "We need silverware, glasses, napkins, and iced tea and coffee from the fridge. Ash, can you get those potatoes in a bowl and take them in? I obviously can't! I'm on salmon duty!" Grabbing the iced drinks from the fridge, I headed to the dining room.

"Congratulations, Annie," Adia said, walking close beside me. "I didn't know you were intending to help Caleb again. Well done," she praised. "And my prophecy was right," she continued, gesturing to my tattoo. "You were _meant_ to become a Dreamdrifter." Adia pushed open the glass door to the dining room, pausing only to stopper it with a foot block.

I was about to respond when the main group arrived behind Cassie, her arms filled with an enormous, rounded dish. A whole and succulently steaming salmon graced its surface.

"Dinner is served!" Cassie announced. "Can you do the servings, Todd? Julian, turn up the lights. And where is Lin?"

"Running late," Adia replied.

"Smart dude," Wayfara added. "He's just coming for the dessert!"

Cassie glared at him before turning to Adia. "He's running late? Is Jon coming with him?"

Adia nodded.

Todd and Wayfara, the only ones already seated, quickly stood. Turning, I realized what was happening. Coraline was the last to enter, her hands filled with napkins. Striding gracefully to the head of the table, the Holan sat down. Everyone followed her lead. Taking my seat between Ash and Julian, I gazed at the welcoming spread hungrily. Opposite me, the Arrowhearts were sitting flanked by Cassie and Wayfara. The seat opposite the Holan remained empty.

"You need a shave, Ash," Coraline said, grinning at her brother. She served herself some lima beans. "Cassie, this looks fantastic. Thank you."

"I second that!" Julian agreed.

"I third it," Ash added.

"Nah," Wayfara said. "There's no point being fourth!"

"Thanks, Cassie," I said. "This was so unnecessary and so nice!" I accepted my salmon filled plate from Todd, not missing the extra cream in passing, the smile of it sizzling amid the fish meat and adding flavor. I started with the Caesar salad before moving onto the baked potatoes and beans. Everything was delicious.

"How was Sweden?" Adia asked.

The Holan sighed. "Troublesome," she replied. "They couldn't care less about the decline of our kind in the States. Every Holan I met with was unwilling to supply Utopians, even as temps!"

"But then during your absence we uncover a new Utopian," Adia said. "Our youngest ever and our first since my brother realized himself years ago."

"When I got Ash's call," Coraline said. "I nearly flew in Gothenburg in broad daylight! I had so much energy! I just had to whoop! My baby brother was already Utopian! Mom and Dad would have been so proud. They would have been, Wayfara. You know that..."

There was a pause during which nobody's eyes met.

"And now Annie's a Dreamdrifter," Coraline continued. "And she is our reason for gathering here tonight! Congratulations on _your_ ascension, Annie. Your parents must also be proud. Where are they?"

"They're both human," I said, swallowing. "They don't even know."

"And that," Coraline said. "Is even more impressive."

Sensing the time was ripe, Ash grasped my hand before releasing it. "There's some ice cream in the freezer," he told me. "And it needs to thaw. Why don't you put it on the counter?"

"Sure," I responded, catching his wink.

"I'll help," Todd offered. "That sounds like a two person job." Rising, we exited the dining room. I moved in silence, listening carefully for voices behind me. "They're totally talking about you," Todd revealed.

"I hope so," I said.

We entered the kitchen. Crossing to the fridge, Todd retrieved the ice cream and placed it beside the cake. I leaned against the island, feeling the warmth of the kitchen lights on the back of my neck. We were quiet for a few minutes, listening for voices from the other room. The dreamcatcher cake was splendidly appealing, delivering me into sugared temptation.

"You could have a slice now," Todd said, watching me. "It's yours."

"That's tempting," I admitted. "But we should be getting back." I was impatient to know the Holan's decision.

We retraced our steps to the dining room. "I dig your dreamcatcher," Todd said. "What made you want the whole world?"

"I don't really know," I admitted, grinning as we reached the room. "I don't remember choosing it."

Coraline stood, causing everyone else to begin to stand. However, she forestalled them. "Remain seated, friends," she instructed. "Annie, Todd, please take your seats. I have an announcement."

Ash's hand found mine before I was even sitting. Turning to him, my face crowded with question marks, I caught a loving wink. I smiled helplessly, feeling the excitement course through his hand and into mine.

"It remains a rare treat," Coraline began slowly. "For our Holurn to welcome new friends and it remains an even rarer treat for our Holurn to welcome new family. Today we have both. Annie is my brother's new girlfriend and our new Dreamdrifter. Welcome to the Holurn, Annie!"

"Congratulations, Annie!" Cassie called. "Welcome aboard!"

"You've earned this," Ash said, squeezing my hand.

Julian actually hugged me. "Welcome, Annie! Congrats!"

"Well done!" Todd claimed.

"Nice one, Annie!" Wayfara piped.

Adia smiled from across the table. "Fate found fruition."

This moment was too enormous for words. It was too big, too much, and too unimaginably fantastic to have ever been considered possible. And yet I had arrived on the doorstep of fantasy where, upon pushing the door open, everything had turned to gold. My dream was realized.

"Let's have a toast!" The Holan called loudly. The noise died quickly. Coraline raised her glass. "To Annie!" Clinking glasses, everyone repeated her words. "And I suppose you never succeeded in infiltrating her subconscious, Ash," Coraline continued. "Because you're still a Dreamdrifter!"

"What!" I exclaimed.

My vision was splattered with red. The surreal happiness of a second ago was gone. Coraline's words repeated in my brain, ripping me apart. Something was exploding inside me like the terrible disbelief that stretched me into a scream. But it could not be true. It could not be true.

Todd's voice was shocked. "Ash, you lied to me."

Ash shook his head. "Todd, I –"

"I asked you that _specifically_!" Todd interrupted. "I asked if you were just using Annie to become Utopian and you said no!"

Tears brushed my eyes. "Is it true, Ash?"

The others were deathly quiet. Cassie and Julian had averted their eyes. Wayfara was watching with his mouth agape, his raised fork forgotten and his expression stunned. The Holan gazed on in silence.

I stared at Ash. "Is it true?"

"But that means," Todd realized, turning to his sister. "That _you_ knew about this. You were his teacher."

Silently, Adia nodded.

"It _is_ true," I whispered. "So... so we aren't real? You only went out with me to realize my subconscious?"

"Yes," Todd answered. "He was _using_ you to become Utopian."

"That's not true!" Ash roared. "I love her!"

Todd's question was simple. "Then how could you do this?"

"I –" Ash stammered. "I'm..."

"You're a _liar_ ," Todd said. "You lied to Annie. You lied to me."

Todd's words bounced like bubbles around me, bursting near my eyes and making me cry. I swayed on my chair as though it was a life boat. And then my emotions capsized.

I watched from the corner of the room as Annie, nearly tripping over her chair, abruptly stood up. The boy beside her, seeming so familiar and such a stranger, tried to pull her back down. She pushed him away, screaming in his face. She ran from the room with tears coursing down her face.

I reentered my body in the hallway. I was breathing hard, the tears crowding my face like undeniable facts. Everything was over, everything was ruined. Ash and I were done, my life as a Dreamdrifter finished.

I ran for the winding staircase. I could only go _up_ from here. Reaching the top of the stairs, I tore down the hall. Finding the right door, I pulled it open and ran the length of the narrow hallway and up the spiral staircase. The Holan's study was quiet and dark, the circular windows issuing only black.

I groped in the dark. My hand hit a pillow and I collapsed into the couch's cushioned embrace. Misery was pummeling me. I wanted to scream but could not. My silence was an unending scream. I lay surrounded by the void of unrepressed night.

_Love_ , I thought darkly, what a perfect tool, what an ingenious weapon with which to strike the bloodiest blow, showering your victim with so much seen and unseen suffering. And yet I had loved Ash. I still loved him, somehow. Perhaps I was just a stupid girl.

"Annie?" His voice was atop the stairs.

"No, Ash," I moaned. "Please go."

"I can't," Ash said. "I can't let you think I'm something I'm not."

"What, a liar?" I spat cruelly.

Forgoing the light switch, Ash came to sit by me. I refused to look at him. Why did he insist on interrupting my self-pity? Hadn't he ruined enough? But Ash continued to sit silently, waiting for me to speak. Minutes passed.

"Why me?" I asked.

"You're the Newcomer's sister," Ash answered. "I didn't know that at first, but Adia did. She probably thought that my realizing the subconscious of the Newcomer's sister would have extra meaning or something. You were chosen by her."

I crossed my arms. "How did she get me enrolled in her course?"

"Your dad, probably," he replied. "They know each other. And she knew your dad was the Newcomer's father and you his sister. Adia most likely recommended her own class for you."

"Adia assigned seats that day," I breathed. "She said professors _never_ do that."

Ash frowned. "Who said that?"

"Nobody," I muttered.

"Ok." His voice echoed sadness.

Sighing, I unfolded my arms. "Ash?"

"Huh?"

"Why do I still love you?"

"I don't know," he said. "You shouldn't. I wouldn't love me."

I nodded my agreement. "The things you've done, the things you've orchestrated for your own gain, and the things you've put me through! Not to mention the secrets! I have no reason to love you, Ash. I shouldn't love you. But I do love you. I _still_ love you. I love you _so_ much."

His voice was stuffed with pain. "Can I hold you?"

I could not deny him. I could not deny myself. Needing to be the first to touch, to feel the warmth of that skin so familiar, I moved closer to him. My heart relaxed against my chest as I curled into Ash's. I found comfort in the awkward way his hands rearranged as they held me, searching for forgiveness.

"I love you too," he murmured. "I know I messed up, but I have always loved you." His words trickled into my ear, warming my soul.

I nodded against his chest.

"I was never supposed to fall in love," Ash continued. "I was supposed to realize your subconscious while in class. I tried but I couldn't, and so I invited you out hiking. And then –"

"And then you fell in love," I finished.

"Yes," he said. "And I'm done with Adia."

Rearranging, I gazed into hazel eyes. "What?"

"I'm done with her," he repeated, his expression wringing truth from its folds. "She's no longer my teacher and I'm no longer her student. Our relationship has ended on an instructional level. We're finished, _done_."

"What about your dreams?" I asked in shock. "What about your ambitions to become Utopian? You're giving them up?"

He nodded. "I'm giving them up."

"No!" I exclaimed. " _No_ , Ash! Don't give up your dreams because of me! You made _my_ dreams come true. I won't be the death of yours!"

"This is _my_ choice," Ash said. "And I choose you. Wayfara can be Holan if anything happens to Coraline. And as far as dreams go, I've been living one with you in my life. I only realized that tonight when I thought I had lost you. Annie, I _have_ taken you for granted and I'm sorry."

"I love you, Ash," I whispered. "And I feel horrible. You said it was your dream to fly."

"I _am_ flying."

I smiled. "We fly higher."

Ash smiled back. "I want to show you something. Can I turn on a light?"

I nodded. "Of course."

"This needs illumination," he continued, standing. Striding swiftly, he crossed to the Holan's desk. He found the lamp. Covering my eyes against the light, I squinted through my fingers. Ash was sitting in the chair behind the desk and looking through something on his lap.

"I want you to know," he began. "That I never used this."

"What is it?" I asked.

"One moment..."

Ash found the item. Returning to the couch, he resumed his place beside me. Hazel eyes found mine before glancing down. I followed them, my gaze falling to his closed fist. Suddenly, it opened. A vial sat on his palm.

My mouth gaped as my heart gasped. Somehow, I knew without reading. Regardless, I lifted the small vial to my eyes. The name there was stenciled in the smallest of possible print: _Annie_.

# 16. The Utopian

" _Insane_ ," I breathed. "This is insane."

"This is _you_ ," Ash said, handing me the vial. "And I promise I never used it."

"I believe you," I said. "But what would happen if I drank it?"

"You would live your subconscious," Ash replied.

I stared at him. "I want to see it."

His expression was uneasy. "What, _now_?"

I nodded. "I want to go now."

Ash shook his head. "I can't say what you'll find. It could be a nightmare."

"It could be fantastic," I countered.

"Maybe," he allowed.

"I _want_ to go," I demanded.

"Right now?" Ash asked. "Are you sure?"

I nodded silently.

Ash gestured to the vial hopelessly. "Take it before I stop you."

Heeding him, I opened the vial and lifted it to my lips.

"There you guys are!"

Nearly spilling the vial, I quickly lowered it. Hurriedly, I hid it behind my back. Wayfara had arrived atop the spiral staircase. Feeling the small tube in my hand, I snapped the top closed.

"Everyone's wondering where you went," Wayfara said.

"We're here," Ash answered.

"That's cool," Wayfara replied. "But the Arrowhearts left and the rest of us want cake! Are you still giving Annie her present, Ash?"

"I get a present?" I asked.

"Like I have a choice now," Ash muttered.

"I helped make it, Annie!" Wayfara said happily. "I did the artwork."

"It's not another dreamcatcher is it?" I asked, the closed vial remaining unforgotten in my hand.

"Yes and no," Ash said. "Want to see it?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed.

"It's cake time!" Wayfara celebrated. "Coraline was right. Mentioning the gift _did_ have an impact."

Slipping the vial into my pocket, I followed the boys down a level where Wayfara and I waited for Ash. He had gone to retrieve something from his room. Ash returned carrying a small object hidden in decorative wrap. Wayfara winked at me. Smiling, I followed them down the winding staircase.

"There they are!" Cassie was in the dining room gathering the remaining repast from dinner. "Excellent," she added, her eyes traveling over Ash's and my held hands. "I'm glad you two made up! The others are in the kitchen. Help me clear up so we can get some sugar on the table!"

Releasing my hand, Ash placed my gift on the table before carrying the salmon dish from the room. Grabbing a few seasonings and the iced tea, I followed him. The kitchen was hopping. Cassie and Julian were sharing the sink, Coraline was filling the coffeemaker with water, and Lin Divion and Jon Boliers were admiring the dreamcatcher cake.

Divion delighted upon seeing me. "Annie! How are you?"

"Good, Dr. Divion," I replied.

"It's _good_ to see you, Annie," Boliers piped.

Cassie turned from the sink. "Alright people," she announced. "It's time for dessert! Annie, Ash, please grab the spoons and the ice cream. Julian, Wayfara, get the cake!"

"And I'll bring coffee soon," Coraline added.

We wound our way back to the dining room. The table was clear now and ready for a fresh spread. Looking splendid, the cake was gently lowered to its surface. Ice cream, bowls, plates, and coffee mugs soon joined it. Everyone waited until Coraline had resumed her seat before sitting themselves.

Julian waved a scoop. "Who wants ice cream?"

"Sign me up!" Wayfara called.

"Yes, please!" I seconded.

"Two scoops is plenty," Boliers added.

"I think _everybody_ does, Julian," Cassie commented.

Before long the whole table was lustily devouring ice cream and cake. The wonderful evening of earlier had been revived. I was surrounded by friends and the dessert was delicious in my mouth, the sweet sugar tickling my taste buds until they laughed.

"Open your gift, Annie," Coraline coaxed. " _I'm_ excited to know what it is!"

I smiled at Ash. "May I?"

"Of course!" Ash replied. "It's yours!"

Skipping further anticipation, I pulled the object toward me and began tearing at the wrappings. "Whoa," I breathed, staring at the newly exposed section. "It _is_ a dreamcatcher!"

"Not exactly," Ash said. In one pull he removed the remaining paper.

"A Dreambell!" Divion exclaimed. His voice sounded unusually high. "Where did you find that?"

The thing _was_ a dreamcatcher. However, the usual beads that occupied the center webbing were replaced by three small bells. The contraption was suspended below a silver archway. Both the dreamcatcher and the archway holding it were elaborately designed and covered in handsome, looping markings. The Dreambell stood independently.

"What is it?" I breathed.

"A warning," Julian explained. "An alarm bell. It comes alive when a Dreamtrapper is near."

"Thank you!" I turned to Ash. "It's beau –" But I was interrupted.

The Dreambell had started moving. Twirling into life, the dreamcatcher at its center was going haywire, nearly dancing from its suspended embrace. I had seen the dreamcatcher on Ash's chest behave similarly in the subconscious mind. However, his dreamcatcher didn't have bells. Eerie and echoing, the clanging of their ring filled the room.

"That's strange," Ash said. He was staring at the Dreambell. "It wasn't doing that when I wrapped it earlier today."

"Maybe it's broken," Divion suggested.

"Impossible," Coraline breathed.

"Who was here when you wrapped it?" Cassie asked.

Ash tensed. " _Everyone_ , except..."

"Everyone," Cassie resumed. "Except Todd, Adia, Lin and Jon. But the Arrowhearts left and Jon is a, well –"

"Awaker!" Wayfara exclaimed unabashedly.

Divion's expression, always carefully carefree, had grown gaunt.

" _So_ –" Coraline began.

"So burn in hell!" Divion roared. Grabbing the Dreambell, he threw it across the room. It smashed against the wall, the remains falling to the floor in a final, ringing death knell. Divion ran from the room.

Wayfara jumped to his feet. "After him!"

"No!" Coraline yelled, forestalling her brother. "He is exposed! A Dreamtrapper is automatically banished from the Holurn. Let him leave. The shame is enough!" Thunder erupted above our heads. Divion was running upstairs. Feet thudded the floor and a door slammed.

Cassie shook her head. "What _is_ he doing?"

Shaken, I attempted to sip my iced tea. The glass never made it to my lips. Instead, it smashed to the floor. My consciousness was bleeding, I could already feel it. People were stretching on my periphery, their figures lengthening.

"Are you ok?" Ash asked.

"He's attacking her subconscious!" Coraline cried, her voice writhing in panic. "If her subconscious persona is murdered she will go insane! We _have_ to stop him!" Motion erupted around my blurring vision.

"Let's get him!" Wayfara roared, springing forward. Julian and Cassie were right behind him.

"Take Annie outside, Jon!" Coraline ordered. "Get her away. Ash and I need to help them! We'll meet you there!"

Grasping my hand, Ash squeezed tightly. "Hold on, Annie," he said. "I _will_ protect you!" He dashed away after Coraline. Swinging me into his arms, Dr. Boliers carried me from the room.

"Can you still understand me, Annie?" Boliers asked.

I could only mumble. "Yes..."

"I'm glad," Boliers said. "Because there's something I've been meaning to say. I'm sorry, Annie, that I helped Lin murder your brother. I'm sorry that I made _you_ inject him with the poison. Lin came to me because he knew I had been turned away from the Holurn for being an Awaker. And so in a moment of weakness I had my revenge. You see, Lin and Adia were married once. _She_ ended the marriage but it was too late. She had already shared the identity of the Newcomer. And so Lin decided to murder your brother so that her prophecy would fail. I regret everything so much, Annie. I am so sorry."

"That's fine," I breathed, delirious. "You're only a doctor..."

Shapes were passing on all sides now, their distorted figures pulsing. We were outside on the dark lawn. Boliers laid me down on the soft, still grass. Suddenly, we were surrounded. The others were back. I heard snatches of panicked sentences even while floating high above the world.

"Divion locked himself in the Holan's study!" Wayfara cried. "And we _can't_ get in!"

"Julian entered her subconscious but he couldn't find Divion," Coraline told Ash. "We have to stop him from above ground!"

Others were circling me, their faces growing wild out of the darkness. Mom demanded I remain in college. Dad nodded silently, his response to everything throughout my life. Josephine destroyed flowers while Eli swigged from his bottle and Caleb rubbed fevered eyes. Ash told me he loved me.

"I love you," Ash whispered. "Stay with me, Annie. Stay with me!"

"Utopians!" Julian shouted. "Let's smash the windows!"

"Hurry!" Ash yelled desperately. "I _can't_! I don't have wings!"

On the periphery of my vision I saw Wayfara and Julian spreading their massive wings. They launched themselves into the sky. Atop the tower, Julian manifested a hammer. There was a sudden, loud thud as it struck the glass. I heard it again and again. But there was no sound of breaking glass.

"What's wrong?" Cassie called. "Why isn't the glass breaking?"

" _Bulletproof_ ," Coraline remembered. "It's bulletproof glass!"

"But what else can we do?" Cassie asked. "We can't get inside!"

"There _has_ to be something!" Ash shouted.

Wayfara and Julian returned to the lawn, their expressions identically helpless. "Is there anything we can do?" Julian asked the Holan. " _Anything_?"

"Yes," Coraline answered. "There is _one_ way to stop him."

"How?" Ash yelled.

"We must _force_ him to realize himself," Coraline explained. "A forced metamorphosis will rip him from her subconscious mind. We must, essentially, manifest his realization."

"But he will become Utopian!" Wayfara cried in shock.

"You're right," Coraline said. "He will become Utopian. He will become _stronger_ , and that is the price."

"What are you waiting for?" Ash urged. "Do it! Do the manifestation!"

"Share hands, Utopians," Coraline instructed. "And join me in Creation!" Together, Coraline, Cassie, Wayfara, and Julian linked their hands. A single second passed.

The night exploded, shattering the tower room's windows. Blinded, I closed my eyes. Through narrow lids I saw the tower in flames. The light of the fire illuminated the lawn below.

Something, or _someone_ , was rising from the ruined tower. Silvery wings appeared first, flapping and fanning the flames. And then the body of a human followed the billowing plumage. Enormous wings wide, the Utopian launched himself into the night.

Divion flipped over in midair. I could see something in his hand. The object looked like a suitcase. Suddenly, I realized what he held. It was the Dreamchest. Divion came to a stop a distance away, his wings treading air.

"Finally!" Divion roared. "I am realized!"

Coraline shook her head. " _We_ manifested those wings!"

"Why attack Annie!" Ash shouted. "What did she do to you?"

"Nothing _yet_ ," Divion admitted. "But she's the Newcomer's sister. She has become a Dreamdrifter and who knows what she _will_ become. Nobody will revive Adia's prophecy!"

"He murdered Alexi!" I yelled, pointing to Divion. "He murdered the Newcomer!"

"Speaking of murderers," Divion hissed. "I see Jon has fled!"

Cassie and Julian, fury charging their temples, were spreading their wings to attack. Divion, however, was ready for them. Smiling, he held up the Dreamchest. "Careful, my friends," he said. "I know this chest is precious! Annie," he continued, his wings flapping in my direction. "I will return for you!"

Lifting the Dreamchest behind his head, Divion threw it to the ground. Strangling their cries, Coraline and Wayfara dived for the chest. Wayfara saved it, managing to get a wing beneath the chest before it hit the grass.

"Nice, Wayfara!" Ash called.

I gazed into the night. "Divion's gone!"

"Of course he's gone," Ash said, helping me to my feet. "You're the one I'm worried about."

"I feel fine," I replied. It was true. The manifestation had worked.

The Holan was issuing orders. "Julian, Cassie, track him!" The pair took flight immediately. "Wayfara!" Coraline continued. "Help me put that fire out!"

"That was _insane_ ," I moaned. "I've had enough for one day!"

Ash smiled. "Are you sure?"

I stared at him through the night. And then I began to smile. "Actually," I said. "One more excursion tonight sounds perfect!" I was suddenly feeling fantastic and that was saying something considering I had just had my subconscious brutalized by a raving, murderous Dreamtrapper.

Stealthily, Ash and I went back inside the house. We stole up the staircase and into Ash's bedroom. Lying down on the couch, Ash gathered me to him. He tightened his grip around me before brushing his lips against mine. I gazed into hazel eyes. Smiling, I retrieved the vial from my pocket.

Ash watched me. "So you're still going to go?"

"I _have_ to," I answered. "I must know."

He nodded his understanding.

Snuggling into the warmth of his embrace, I could feel the night pressing in around us. I opened the vial. I had already lifted it to my lips before I realized I had forgotten something.

"Ash," I said calmly. "I love you."

"I love you too, Annie," he whispered. "I will _always_ love you."

My heart was beating like crazy. "Ash?"

"Yup?"

"Why am I doing this?"

His words were the last I heard. "Because," he whispered. "You're stronger than you think, Annie. You're stronger than you think..."

# 17. In the Wake of a Dream

My heart found its beat.

I had arrived. I was in my subconscious mind. Sensing what I could through closed eyes, I considered my position. I was standing upright. The floor beneath my feet was cold and metallic. I could feel holes in its surface. Chilled air brushed against my skin. I was naked.

Something was in my hand, something heavy. The handle I grasped was a perfect fit, comfortable for _my_ hand. Nothing else could be witnessed without open eyes. I opened them.

I gasped. A building surrounded me. I was on a bridge suspended high in the building. The bridge was made of a mesh like material. That explained the holes. The sky was blacked out not by the dark of night but by the dark of a stained ceiling nearly shadowed in gloom.

Surrounding the bridge further ahead, I could see strange shapes looming out of the darkness, their bulks suspended from above. Though the place was illuminated by pale lights, I could not distinguish the objects.

Turning around, I gazed backward. A wall greeted my eyes. The revelation struck like a stone against my face. Forward was the only option.

Sudden movements caught my attention, movements _on_ me. My dreamcatcher, its worldly web whirring crazily, had come to life. The watery feathers danced across my chest.

Other tattoos had also erupted over my body. The largest of them was an enormous letter M. It covered nearly the whole of my naked front so that my dreamcatcher spun within its middle, downward arch. The other tattoos were smaller, but all were the same letter and all were a deep scarlet.

I examined the object in my hand. The gleaming knife had a long, deadly blade. The weapon could easily puncture the fabric of any life, any intruding encroacher. Lowering the blade, I began to move forward.

Shadows leapt upon me as I walked. The wiry bridge was painful to the naked foot. Through the mesh, I could see machines rising out of the gloom beneath the bridge, their blades ripping the air.

I was getting closer to the objects suspended from the ceiling. I experienced a flash of foreboding. Though I had yet to recognize the hanging bulks, I could see what held them. Chains, dark, grisly, oil slick chains descended from above, grasping the bulks tightly. I moved closer. The objects appeared to be large sacks splattered with maroon.

I buckled under the weight of realization. The hanging bulks were not sacks. They were animals, the _remains_ of animals. The nearest was a cow, his organs having been ripped from his body completely. He dripped blood before my eyes, his own staring from an intact head, cocked in death.

A scream grew inside me. The ruined bodies stretched for miles ahead. The end of the bridge was far from sight, the end of the deathly, staring eyes even farther. The revelation of my subconscious mind came to me.

It was a slaughterhouse.

Reeling in horror, I ran. Gasping the stained air, I passed the bloody corpses in a rush of speed. Tearing across the bridge, I wouldn't let myself stop. The animals, the massacred ruin of their bodies strangled in chains, kept coming. There was no end to the staring death.

A wall erupted from the gloom. I glimpsed an opening. Terror spurred me forward. Closing my eyes, I ran for the checkpoint. I shot through the opening. My eyes remaining shut, I allowed myself to walk. I was breathing hard. Regardless, pride flooded me. I had not actually screamed.

I opened my eyes and _screamed._

I had assumed that anywhere would be preferable to the bridge. I had been wrong. Though no shredded animals filled this large room, something worse filled its space, something _much_ worse. There were no animals here, only people.

I had opened my eyes near a woman, her face dancing in death. Hanging from the ceiling in chains, the rolling heads of her eyes found me. She had been stabbed _many_ times.

Tripping in fear, I fell backward. I landed with a cry of pain on the icy, metallic ground, the periphery of my vision spinning as my knife clattered to the floor. They were _everywhere_.

Mutilated bodies filled chains and cages around me. Screaming, I covered my eyes. Terror assaulted me. I could not deny what I had seen. They had all been _stabbed_ to death.

Jumping to my feet, I ran for my life. Running with closed eyes was impossible in the room. There were too many snares to catch me before sharing their death. I ripped past thrashed bodies and stabbed eyes.

Spinning around a cage shaped like a mummy, I smacked right into a corpse suspended in chains. Screams thundering from me, I tried to free myself. My legs tangled in the chains.

I screamed louder. Pushing the body away, I attempted to leap from the chains. However, my feet were still tangled in them. Falling to the floor, I cowered in the corpse's shadow.

"Help me!" I screamed. "Somebody! _Please_! Help me!"

There was an explosion of light.

Shielding my eyes, I glimpsed an orb in the sky. The light was descending. And then it dimmed. Someone was coming toward me, his white wings flapping magnificently. He alighted on the ground.

He was a Paradesian. No other explanation had room for his gargantuan wingspan that was larger than any I had seen, no other explanation had space for his beautiful, crystalline skin that illuminated me like a beacon. The Paradesian folded his wings.

"Take my hand," he instructed. Grasping it, I felt weightless as he pulled me to my feet. A ladder had appeared, its higher rungs disappearing above. He held it steady. " _Climb_ ," he ordered. "I will follow you."

Ready to be free, I immediately began climbing. After a while, I gazed downward. The Paradesian was swooping around the ladder below me, ascending slowly higher. Reaching the top of the ladder, I found a trapdoor. I pushed it open and climbed the last wrung.

"Where are we?" I asked.

The Paradesian shut the trapdoor. "Don't you remember?"

We were in a waiting alcove. Halls stretched in both directions. Looking down, I realized that I was clothed again. Regardless, the dreamcatcher earth was still alive on my chest. My eyes fell to the carpet. The pattern had squares, triangles, and circles.

"Oh my god," I breathed.

"I thought you'd remember," he said.

"But how do _you_ know," I asked. "Who are you?"

"Please sit down." The Paradesian gestured to a chair. I watched him closely as I took it. Pulling a seat close to mine, the Paradesian rearranged his white wings before sitting.

"Who are you?" I repeated.

"Let's start with _what_ ," he said. "Do you know what I am?"

I nodded. "Paradesian."

"I'm impressed," he admitted. "That's pretty good for a human!"

"Well... I'm not _really_ human anymore," I began. "I'm a Dreamdri –"

"Shh!" He lifted a finger to his lips. "Careful," he added. "We're still in your subconscious. You don't want to awake yet, do you?"

" _No_ ," I said hurriedly, changing course. "Anyway, I guessed _what_ you are and so it's only fair you tell me _who_ you are."

He shook his head. "You can't recognize your own brother?"

" _What_!" I exclaimed. It could not be. It was impossible. His was a terrible joke. "My brother is dead!"

"I am me, Annie," he said. "I promise."

"You're..."

But a memory interrupted me. It came from afar, ascending the spiral staircase of years. A small nose and question mark ears reflected Annie, twelve years old and speechless. They were reflecting Annie, eighteen years old and speechless.

"Alexi?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.

"But you're dead," I whispered. "Aren't you?"

He nodded.

Tears were starting in my eyes. "I don't understand!"

"Don't cry, Annie," he pleaded. " _Please_ , don't cry." He was too late. I was already bawling, the tears falling to my whirring dreamcatcher earth, adding drops to the sea. "What's wrong?" Alexi asked. "What is it?"

I hid my face in my hands. "You never awoke!" I sobbed. "You never awoke, Alexi! I was just sitting there and then, and then..."

"I know," he said quietly. "I know what happened."

"You never awoke!"

"Yes I did!" Alexi said. "I did awake, Annie! I did awake!"

"You –"

"I awoke in heaven!"

My eyes streaming, I gazed up at him.

"That's right," he said. "I awoke in heaven, Annie. I _did_ awake."

Leaning forward, I hugged him. The electricity of his pulse was stunning. "You're beautiful, Alexi!" I gasped. "And I'm sorry for everything!"

"Why are you sorry?" Alexi asked. "You did nothing wrong."

"I injected the poison," I whispered. "I murdered you."

"Not on purpose," Alexi scoffed. "And that was _them_ , not you! If anything, Annie, you brought me to life! You wanted me _so_ much. I could feel it then, I can feel it now. You were the perfect big sister. I remember you crying all over me." Alexi smiled. "My whole life was very wet!"

My laugh ended in a sob. "Will you forgive me, Alexi?"

"Forever, for always, forgiven, dearest sister," he said. "Never forget."

I wiped my tears. "Will I ever see you again?"

"Not in a dream," he said. "Or a nightmare. Not until your time."

"I love you," I murmured. "I miss you so much."

"I know," he said. "I love you too. And I will always be listening if you need help. Next time, though, I will have to send it through others. Even we Paradesians have rules."

"I have a question about that," I said.

Alexi nodded. "Of course."

I glanced at the ceiling. "What's HE like?"

Alexi smiled. "What do you expect?"

"Oh," I began. "I –"

"That's him!" Alexi exclaimed.

I smiled back. "So even the Newcomer can't tell his sister?"

Standing, Alexi unfolded his wings. "What do you mean? Even the Newcomer?"

"You're the Newcomer, Alexi."

He shook his head. "I'm not the Newcomer, Annie. _You_ are." White wings stretching behind him, Alexi bent to kiss my forehead. "It's no coincidence that your dreams catch the world. Light the night, _Dreamdrifter_..."

###

# About the Author

Shayn Bloom was born in Moscow, Russia and has been a writer since the age of thirteen, penning novels, poems, songs, articles, short stories, and novellas. Shayn lives and writes in Baltimore, Maryland.
