 
STOP THE RAIN  
 _Lessons learned from personal tragedy, betrayal, and murder, which created a better world_

a story by  
Natalae Jaennae Alluneedis

Smashwords Edition
Published on Smashwords by:  
Natalae Jaennae Alluneedis

Stop the Rain  
Copyright 2013 by Natalae Jaennae Alluneedis

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# Table of Contents

Prologue

Opening Quote

Dedication

Acknowledgement

What I Do

Welcome Jack

Jack Returned to San Diego

The Beginning of the Beginning

New Life

Discovery and Containment

The Environmental Impact Assessment of Crime

A Family is Born

Emotions Need to Bleed in Order for Our Souls to Heal

Too Big to Fail

A 'Get Well Soon' Wish from Marsha Daniels

Ability to Adapt to Change or Crisis

Jack's Final Nightmare

Pamela's Funeral

I Will Not Be Your Enemy Until I Try To Become Your Friend First

Rachael Died

A Gift to Love that is Stronger than Death

Jack Was On Fire

I Could Never Find Better Company

The Alternate Death of Friedrich

The World Won the War and War Was Lost to the World

Premise: Humankind Has a Destiny

Epilogue

#  Prologue

Which happened first, the chicken vs. the egg or quantum mechanics vs. Newtonian physics? The first part of the question has to do with the mystery of how life began; did we evolve from the simplest of life forms which divide to reproduce, or did we magically appear male and female of each species of the animal kingdom in the same moment as do particles and anti-particles which magically appear and then usually combine to disappear within the vacuum of space? The second part of the second question addresses the very different physical laws which exist for small particles and the laws which govern larger masses throughout the universe. There seem to be different universal laws within the same space as if two different universes have intersected one another or that a second universe was subsequently created within the first.

Whenever we talk about 'which happened first' we are aware of the concept of time, however, it is easy to overlook something so obvious and which is present during our own thoughts in pondering it. In every case regardless of time, the necessary ingredient before something can happen or change is _potential_.

Potential in physical (and chemical) terms is akin to structured desire within given circumstances unlike the potential that exists for particle physics (quantum mechanics), or even in human thought which is unstructured desire - where more than one outcome is possible for a given set of circumstances. One needs to apply energy to unstructured desire circumstances in order to achieve results because of the possibility for alternate outcomes. For example; a child who has great potential to become a poet or medical doctor needs to channel their energy into one or the other, or both in order to achieve one or both of those potential outcomes. Similarly, unstructured desire in particle physics leads to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, which allows for all possibilities to happen (the sum of all histories) before something does happen. By contrast the desire for carbon and oxygen to combine is a consistent and predictable structured desire in chemical physics, it will form carbon monoxide (CO) or carbon dioxide (CO2) depending only on the circumstances. The biological equivalent for structured desire is instinct; predictable behavior within certain circumstances.

Note that potential exists even without the parameter of time within the circumstantial environment, as a rock at the edge of a cliff has the potential to change its potential energy to kinetic (energy in motion) to fall to the base of the cliff or that the thought of a table before making plans to build a table is the potential for the table to exist. Can 'potential' influence the dimension of _time_ in space-time? It does not in the case of the rock on a cliff, but what about the interactions of our thoughts upon the space-time continuum?

What happens to space-time in our complicated lives in an even more complex tapestry of our social interaction of our brothers and sisters when we have the differing perceptions about a specific event that we have all witnessed from differing perspectives at the same time? The potential is with us moment-to-moment to channel our energy, both singularly and collectively to yield new outcomes that we _hope_ for, because we know that even with our best laid plans and our most confident choices that undesired consequences can result.

We are about to observe how interpretation of an event of shocking impact potential for human history had become a duality of histories which divided space-time into separate but parallel planes of human history. Witness the potential of an alternate human destiny from our own, one among many others within the sum of all histories.

#  Opening Quote

"He's just beyond my reach but I can see him and I can hear his thoughts..."

#  Dedication

This book is dedicated to helping to create a better world through the application imagination and hope through reason, while acknowledging that there is good or evil in our deeds and thoughts but as importantly, there are intended and unintended consequences that can stem from both that can change good or evil into the other.

The events of WWII are horrifying lessons that we must always remember as to our potential for depravity of our human spirit and our overly exuberant and selfish creativity when it comes to finding ways to destroy things and people's lives. This book should in no way be taken to excuse the hateful monsters of that time who committed crimes against us all, but the backdrop of that period is simply to show an alternate history to the much less than perfect one that we currently experience. We can and should continuously challenge our creativity to our highest and best potential both individually and collectively.

#  Acknowledgement

I would like to acknowledge the diversity of all of us that made this book possible; not only the diversity of our heritage and cultures, but also of our personal aspirations, angels and demons. I hope that this book demonstrates that we can coalesce around our common values for the sake of our children and to make our world better for all who follow us.

#  What I Do

Someone very close to me wrote an excellent book called, "Natalae...From Across the Universe" whose opening quote read, "Destiny lays before us, not behind us. Whatever our life _was_ cannot be relived. What is of interest then, is the _state_ of our life, and what it can _become_. NJR"

That is an accurate statement for those who live in the 'before life' as you do, but it is a myopic view of life which is self-centric and which does not work to insure the longevity of our species. In fact, there is a larger view of the unfolding of the life and times of humanity. I am in a position to make decisions regarding the state of our species and have taken it upon myself to be watchful. I have learned how to intercede in events which would lead to the spiraling decay and end to the reign of people on Earth, something I would personally find devastating and unacceptable. Someday, you may have a chance to help me or to even fill my shoes. People are beautiful creatures with unbridled potential to be good and positive influences on their environment if just given the chance. If you believe that and you love and appreciate all people equally then you may qualify for my position; I am Dharma, self-titled 'Curator of History'.

Unlike the time I lived in the 'before life', I am able to view _time_ as it actually is; the past equally important to the present and the future, while you see time as a continuum of the present and the past becomes as murky and inaccessible as your forecast of the future, or even a dream given enough time to pass. I have the ability to affect change in order to help insure the continuation of our species, but it is a complicated process and I am still human and subject to make mistakes. I made a very serious mistake during World War II because I could not look far enough into the future to see consequences of the Allies winning against Germany in the European theater of the war. In another quotable quote from the book previously mentioned, my good friend wrote, "Be careful what you wish for or pray for. It is conceivable that an answered prayer can lead you to a hellish life." Indeed, I found that to be poignantly true and I inadvertently made assumptions which contributed to the rapid decline and eventual destruction of you, all of you; those I know and those I don't know, but whom I love each and none the less.

Most of us thought Adolf Hitler was a monster, and make no mistake, Hitler was a monster. You may find that research on Hitler's reign and the German Third Reich in the years between 1937 and 1945 very helpful if you aren't familiar with the history of that period. Pay close attention to the keywords, "blitzkrieg", "death camps", "Kristallnacht", "sterilization", and "master race".

For all of the reasons that you did, I also favored the Allies to win against Hitler and his compatriots; however in the sum of all histories the obvious path proved to be equally ruinous. Alternate histories involving Germany winning the war could range from horribly worse to infinitely better. I looked back from the year 2027 when I decided to make the highly risky decision to intercede with history. It was upon me to make plans which were not at all clear for their outcome and to hope for a better future than for the one you may live in, which is destined to fail. I can only make brief appearances in your world and the changes that I can make must be modest, for the consequences and unintended consequences of any changes to history can be the undoing of the best of intentions.

Just to make a point for your appreciation of the risk for change that was needed, think how desperate you would feel if you were playing golf for the prize of world peace and your next shot would need to be a 'hole-in-one' for you to win.

I promise that this book is not about physics, but you will find an appreciation through learning some concepts about physics that you can learn here and nowhere else which apply to your understanding of the providential outcome and brilliance of events; still, so painful to some in order make the _potential_ for such a beautiful life for most of us.

I will divert your attention briefly to how information in history can be and was changed. You haven't yet experienced this change and you are on the sad course to the bloody end to your species; but that doesn't mean that you cannot find your way to salvation. The path to salvation has already been charted by events presented here and there are many others which can work for you, but each carries the risk and the promise of unforeseen consequences.

Tampering with history (information) is less like golf and more like pocket billiards; it is more complicated still, because rather than played upon a massive two dimensional table-top, information is multi-dimensioned and rather than the very hard surface and precisely uniform round balls on the pool table which have predictable outcomes in collisions, information intervention is more akin to the observation of what happens when celestial objects collide; it's messy. Our moon was produced by such a collision of another object with our planet. Imagine having to plan the velocity, direction, place of impact and mass, angular momentums in the collision and more in order to have the desired outcome of our moon and our earth in the exact state as they are presently.

It is helpful to view information intervention by visualizing a messy collision, although stronger forces hold information together than gravity, which is the weak force holding massive objects together. As there is wave-particle duality phenomenon that exists for measuring the state of photons, electrons and other sub-atomic particles, there is information instability where one interferes with the trajectory of information through time and which is influenced by the magnitude of the informational impact as well as its angle of impact to time. The impact can be visualized as two helical springs (Slinky toys) would intersect with a resultant path that can be a single helical path with internal longitudinal and transverse reverberations in a single alternate path than either had previously, or it can result in two new historical pathways which are in a parallel double helix or divergent helices, which may never but could intersect again in the future. It's tricky.

The first step in information intervention is to determine an event with crucial outcome. In this case, I could see that Germany had won the European theater in World War II, so I intervened at a point when the Allies could recover missing pieces of an encryption deciphering devise. This actually happened during the capture of a German U-Boat (submarine) in _your_ history, which enabled the Allies to have an ear to the German high command as they broadcast orders.

The second step is much more difficult than the first; determine the point of information impact on history and the required information to be inserted which will produce the least risk of unintended repercussions. As history was originally playing, an American destroyer rammed a German U-boat with the brave submarine captain standing on deck as his crew took to the water in fear for their lives. The captain whose wrist was tethered to the leather and waterproof cylindrically shaped canister which held his charts was killed as he indignantly turned away from the backdrop of the approaching vessel. It was the captain who would be the linchpin then, for information intervention.

The captain would be replaced by my own child, Friedrich, whose father was Martin Niemöller, and his intended mother, Catralina was taken by me to participate later in history's timeline; she _eventually_ became a willing participant and my twin-sister, however I confess that I rather insisted when we met.

Suffice it to say that Germany winning the war was an unacceptable outcome to human survival until it became clear that my intervention became equally devastating. The key then for success of our species still lay with my child. What was a 'simple' intervention now became compounded; the information from the experiences of my child had the potential to create _new_ information which could be introduced at the precise time of the death of his original counterpart who was on the deck of his German submarine. Germany would win the war, but the new information could potentially change the outcome.

Pain is a part of living and the important lessons learned by my child came at excruciatingly painful personal cost.

#  Welcome Jack

Friedrich was born my son in 1925, although I can only have female children (as a point of interest, anyone intervening with the information in history can only have female children). I _conveniently_ died at childbirth (to minimize my impact on history's outcome) but not before giving resolute instructions to his father, Martin regarding our son as my final wishes. I made him promise to raise our child, not in Germany, but in San Diego, California, USA. I also gave him instructions to emphasize the importance to Friedrich of learning mathematics and the sciences with the same fervor as if it were religion, as important as that subject was to Martin. I needed for Friedrich to learn to wonder; the creative magic that makes wisdom and the other 'stuff' of information; intangible yet precious. I told him to preach that mathematics alone is like cardboard, just a bunch of rules. Thou canst not divide by zero, and yet the square root of -1 is an imaginary number... something all numbers are. I implored Martin to teach Friedrich to think about everything with skepticism; to wonder... always wonder.

Martin was a decorated submariner in the German navy during the First World War and was an ardent supporter of all things 'German' in spite of growing tensions between the political and Christian religious leaders of the day. It was difficult for Martin to keep his promise, but true to his word, he took Friedrich at the age of seven to the US with him and they began their lives with new names in San Diego; Warren and Jack Taylor.

The year was 1932 when they finally moved to the US and they moved from Germany just in time; Hitler was appointed Chancellor of Germany in January, 1933. Warren instilled his love for me within Jack and Jack was a willing student to learn and wonder about academics as well as about me. Jack thrived in his new environment, but Warren became active within groups that were sympathetic to Germany during the precursor to war and later during and throughout the war in the European theater. San Diego happened to be an important American naval base and when Jack was seventeen-years-old he volunteered to the US air force to become a pilot against the Japanese who had attacked Pearl Harbor in Hawaii on December 7th, 1941. Germany and Italy declared war upon the US and the US responded in kind on December 11, 1941 against the Axis countries. Jack had the aptitude and the skills to be an accomplished pilot; however the same mathematical concepts which made Jack an eligible candidate as a fighter pilot made him equally valuable as a naval commander. Military recruiters saw that he could be an even greater asset in Europe given his family history and Jack's fluency in the German language.

Warren was proud to think of Jack as serving the US against the Japanese; however he was enraged that his son would be fighting against his 'fatherland'. Jack thought himself an American first and he was proud to serve his country; he was astonished by his father's lack of patriotism for their adopted country. Warren felt betrayed by his son and by the US for using his own German military history against his 'Fatherland' by and through his own son.

The political schism between them kept them from communicating, except briefly on holidays and birthdays; which was a good thing because Warren would have become infuriated to learn just how important Jack was in helping the Allies (the US, Brittan, and Russia) to defeat Germany and Italy.

The British along with the French had already declared war on Germany on September 3rd, 1939 following the German invasion of Poland. Their Polish ally had been working at cracking the code of the German military and had accumulated some of the parts to the German Enigma Machine coding device.

Jack was given his former German name, Friedrich Niemöller and was delivered secretly to Szczecin, Poland, which is the largest seaport in Poland on the Baltic Sea and which had a history rich in periods of harmony as well as controversy with its own German citizens. His clandestine mission was to move from Poland into Germany, gain their trust, and to become a sailor for the German navy where he might gain access to more information surrounding the mystifying Enigma Machine.

Jack spent little time with his American, British and Polish comrades and moved quickly to the German border to cross from Poland. Jack's last name was still famous because of the actions and writings of his father, Martin, even among the people in the rural parts of Germany. He was surprised at his own ability to move freely about the country. He presented himself confidently to the German military recruiters and he was a welcomed inspirational figure from the start. He quickly made friends wherever he went and was a quick study at the German naval academy at Mürwik in Flensburg in northern-most Germany.

To the happy surprise of the British, he was offered immediate command of a U-boat upon early graduation from the academy. His crew was proud to sail with Friedrich at the helm and they affectionately nicknamed him as Nemo, the main character of the famed book " _Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea_ " by Jules Verne as a shortened version of his own last name, Niemöller. Friedrich drilled his crew all along the voyage to the North Atlantic in order to make sure that they were first-rate sailors and he became proud of them as they were devoted to him. Indeed, submarines were being replaced at roughly the same pace as they were being destroyed and the part of the Atlantic shipping lanes between the US and Brittan that was not prone to protection by the Allies from the air was quickly shrinking. Most submariners knew their voyage was a one-way ticket. Jack depended on making a single strategic surgical torpedo strike on a decoy vessel planted by the Allies just for him so that no one would be hurt. He coordinated his plans with the British and the American navies to attack that particular ship within a materials convoy headed for Brittan from the US.

"Captain Nemo" and his crew arrived at the secretly agreed-upon coordinates precisely on time to watch a destroyer lose her place among the ranks of the convoy, which exposed the decoy target as planned but as soon as Jack ordered the torpedo to be fired, the destroyer unexpectedly steamed ahead to make up for lost ground and she intercepted the torpedo instead of the intended decoy. Jack felt sick and grief-stricken at the loss of life, even as his crew cheered in unison at their first successful strike against the Allies. He then ordered his submarine hard to starboard in a parallel course to the stricken destroyer and to surface and come to a full stop. His crew obeyed him reflexively, but each sailor probably suspected danger in his command. Jack knew from his training that he could have headed north and then west to put the glare of the sun in-line with his pursuers and then head north and then again east to re-engage the convoy but his mission was to hand-over an undamaged German naval vessel and her functioning Enigma Machine.

As the submarine surfaced, and as per Allied plan, a second destroyer bolted down on her from the north to ram her. Jack ordered all hands to abandon ship to be picked up by another ship from the convoy. Only Jack stayed behind and on deck of his submarine as the destroyer slowed to a crawl and it came about to parallel Jack's submarine. As scripted, Jack raced for the hatch of his submarine in order to appear to his crew that he would heroically scuttle the submarine in light of the fact that the destroyer did not ram her. Someone from the approaching destroyer strayed from script and shot Jack through his right leg just as he stepped onto the ladder with his left. Somehow, Jack kept to his role and he fell into the submarine to feign an attempt to scuttle her.

It was at this point that I thought that my mission was accomplished, and indeed, the tide of the war changed and Germany would not be victorious in this (your) future. I soon found out that humankind would eventually lose whoever the victor in the war. Either future was determined to see the last of our species. Our progeny would remember us for handing a doomed world over to them. They would suffer as no previous generation _ever_ had because of the ineptness of the most proximate generations to their own.

Failure is not an option for the responsibilities that I carry. I had only one hope for success and that one hope lay in the mind of my child. I could not change the outcome of either optional history, unless...

#  Jack Returned to San Diego

Jack returned to San Diego in 1945 with the grateful thanks of ranking military in three allied countries. The Germans did not suspect that it was possible for their enemies to break their Enigma code, even for the duration of the war. The exact nature of Jack's role was a state secret for his own protection against retaliation, but it became clear to everyone that Jack acted heroically and effectively against the Germans... even to his father, Warren. His limp and cane were his constant companions and reminders to himself of the tragic loss of life on that fateful day, and to others who were grateful to him for giving of himself for the cause of freedom, the end of a brutal war, and a more hopeful future for humankind.

Unfortunately, that recognition only deepened the scars between Warren and Jack. They both lived in San Diego and Jack soon had a stable career where he taught chemistry, math and physics at the Scripps Institution of Oceanography. All of the while, Jack's father, Warren was humiliated in the company he kept who, like himself were supporters of the German "Fatherland" and felt contempt for those who fought against their comrades, as well as their sons and family. Few attempts were made by Jack to bridge the gulf between them, for each time he tried he was met with a bitterly cold diplomatic gamesmanship, social and intellectual posturing, and emotional indifference.

When Jack was thirty-three-years old, he met Pamela, who happened to be fourteen years his junior and was a visiting economics student from the University of California, San Diego. There was magic between them and the couple quickly fell in love. As difficult as that reality was to Jack's father, the fact that she was of Japanese heritage and of a family that was interned in California during the war made him feel _outraged_.

The FBI monitored many dissident groups and they admonished Jack that he might be harmed or that his life could be in danger from his father or his father's companions from within their pro-Nazi group. Theirs and other groups had become of 'interest' to national security even at that late date in1959. Jack appreciated the FBI's concern but dismissed the idea that he might be assassinated; it seemed too implausible for the tired old men like his father, who was sixty-two-years-old at the time to seek vengeance. Jack and Pamela were married that same year, about one year after they had first met. No surprise, Warren had refused their invitation to the wedding.

One of the most beautiful and inspiring souls (I admit only to mild bias regarding my opinion as her grandmother) was born to Jack and Pamela in 1962; her name was Rachael. As she grew, the blend between east and western cultures created something different, but which encompassed the best of both; she had her mother's patience and rhythm of speech and motion. She also had a mystique about her which captivated others as they became quiet and alone; the essence of her somehow lingered like a subtle enchanting fragrance.

Not so as her father, Jack; his inquisitive mind necessarily distracted him away from his own purpose in the fray of life, and even to his personal self-image. His purpose in changing history, by my own design, depended on those qualities; that is not to say that Jack was not highly compassionate and intuitive. Jack's self expression was understandably awkward. His self image was highly directed by the reflection of the people he was closest to; particularly when it came from Pamela and Rachael. Pamela always understood her value in helping Jack to see himself as a good if mediocre man; however Rachael saw his awkwardness as embarrassing, even while admiring his good-nature and his quiet sensitivity to those around him.

Pamela was interned in the US during the war, and witnessed the brutality of a cultural divide that impacted her family. She felt the love from her friends and relatives within that prison, but confinement by and inequality among people in your own country but from differing cultures with whom you are not familiar was not easily understood, even by adults; although its affect was profound to those who found themselves fenced in; it smothered life, as invisible pall.

Jack and his family had, as typical households do, routines and subroutines that govern daily life's most precious time for working, shopping, and caring for each other with little attention to planning for the future. It was difficult for many to make plans; the Cold War between the (then) Soviet Union and the USA which had led the world to the brink of destruction in 1961 was still 'hot' and the American president John F. Kennedy, (with the aid of his younger brother, US Attorney General Bobby) who stood up to the threat of Soviet nuclear missiles installed in Cuba and which targeted US cities, would soon be assassinated in 1963.

Rachael was only six-years-old in1968 when civil unrest and riots from racism and social and political inequality and injustice had left US cities burning; but that year was particularly frightening to many who were living at the time. There was incredible brutality during demonstrations outside of the Democratic National Convention in Chicago that year, the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated in Memphis, former US Attorney General and Democratic presidential candidate Bobby Kennedy was assassinated while campaigning in Los Angeles, all while the "police action" in Vietnam was escalated to include bombing missions into neighboring Cambodia. Also, and for the first time in recorded history, the war between the generations; 'baby-boomers (those born soon after the end of WWII) vs. the Establishment (their parents as well as everyone over the age of forty who held conservative views of social conformity and authority) raged.

Rachael was too young to sense it, but her parents certainly could. Multi-racial families of all kinds were seen mostly through unkind monochromatic eyes, even among individual races and no one was certain of their futures within so much social tension and unrest.

Pamela thought it would be an appropriate time for her and her brother to take Rachael to visit their relatives who remained in Japan. Jack was not invited and he did not ask to go along; it was obvious to everyone that Jack's presence would limit everyone's sociability in a land foreign to his own. Jack stepped aside; as he had always done and would always do for the sake of the happiness or harmony of his family and others.

Pamela and Rachael were finally away for the summer of 1970 while Rachael was eight-years-old. Rachael never appreciated the personal anguish that Jack felt whenever he needed to be absent from her and Pamela while they visited relatives. She and Pamela had both become acclimated to the environment that was created by the intolerance within their own culture for Jack; he was 'different' from them.

While they were away, Jack kept to his fixed routines with coursework and reading, but he discovered a new-found appreciation for the skeptical minds of the upcoming generation. Their chorus for 'peace and love' to replace 'hatred and war' seemed to be naïve to most within his generation, but Jack also languished from haunting memories of his personal role in killing one-hundred innocent people during the insanity of war. Those who were younger were dreamers with no resolution for war, but they were correct to question and to look for, or at least _hope_ for solutions. Jack found a deep admiration for a particularly charismatic leader of the world famous musical group, "The Beatles", John Lennon. He, more than most was a polarizing figure who braved the hatred of the political right and Jack's own generation and challenged the left to demonstrate against the Vietnam conflict and to experiment with imagination, (unfortunately even with mind-altering drugs) to find or to invent solutions for what was at hand.

Jack went to Japan for what would have been the last three days of the family trip in order to fly back with them and to briefly share some of their common family memories. While he was there, he witnessed Rachael's newfound love for painting and for horseback riding. He was instantly surprised at her comfort level around such big animals which made Jack feel a bit afraid or, at least, uneasy.

Rachael was on her way back from an afternoon ride on his first day there when something spooked her horse. The horse reared up in fear and Rachael fell backwards to the ground. Her head struck a rock, which fractured her skull. Pamela yelled to Jack to bring the car around as she raced to the scene. Jack hobbled on his cane as quickly as physics would allow and then he sped the car closer as he watched Pamela making her way towards him with Rachael flaccid in her arms. Pamela had run for more than one-hundred yards and was exhausted as Jack helped her to put Rachael into the back seat. Jack sat with Rachael's head in his lap while Pamela, exhausted and panting, drove as fast as she could to a nearby hospital.

Her skull fracture was simple rather than depressed. Rachael was quick to recover and after five days of observation and bandages, she was cleared to travel back to her home in the US and get ready for school.

Pamela and Jack decided that they would move to a less hostile environment when their daughter had finished junior high. She was young enough and innocent and unaware of the absence of her grandfather's interest in her and her family and of her maternal family's disinterest in her mother and father. Pamela also needed the time in order to finish her economics degree before they left. They looked at a map for locations that would be socially tolerant and safe. They decided to move to Rochester, Minnesota; home to the Mayo Clinic, a health center which might be needed in light of Jack's wounded leg and any latent symptoms of Rachael's head trauma. They deduced that the attraction of patients from around the world to the famous medical center would necessitate an adaptation for tolerance from the citizenry there and that their multi-racial family might well be accepted.

#  The Beginning of the Beginning

Actually, Pamela and Jack _thought_ that they deduced that Rochester, Minnesota was the city that they should move to; it would not have happened, none of it, without the intervention of information; my intervention, thought entanglement. What would have happened, I just cannot say among the infinite possibilities, but rarely does anything happen exactly as planned.

As it happened, the Taylor's moved to Rochester in August, 1980 when Rachael was a senior in high school. Jack and Pamela were both warmly received as new staff teaching at the local community college. Pamela became fast friends with her colleague who taught history, Leslie Carlson. Leslie's husband, Hugh Carlson was a realtor. Soon the four of them including Jack became friends and they took turns entertaining at each other's home.

Rachael missed her long-time friends, but she soon became immersed in her new school and her new friends. Jack and Pamela were hoping to find a home-away-from-home; a cabin somewhere near horses for Rachael to feel connected with her passions for riding and painting. It happened that Hugh was in a partnership with a developer of a new subdivision near Wabasha and along the Mississippi River, about forty-five minutes northeast of Rochester. Hugh was sure that the setting would be ideal for weekend retreats for the Taylor's and he set up a meeting with the developer, Layton Cayne and his wife Donna.

Hugh and Leslie invited the Taylor's, including Rachael to meet at their home in February, 1981 with Layton, Donna, and their son, Morgan, who worked alongside of his father.

Morgan was a year younger and one grade behind Rachael and she hadn't noticed him, but he noticed her when she began school and thought she was very pretty. Morgan was usually extroverted, but he felt as though Rachael was somehow out of his league. He was understandably surprised, yet guarded about the upcoming opportunity to meet Rachael; he had broken up with his former girlfriend, Monica only a month prior.

The date had finally arrived and it was gently snowing with no wind; a beautiful afternoon setting as the Taylor's arrived. Donna brought out some food for snacking and Hugh had made a fire in the fireplace that had been keeping the family room cozy for hours. There was an octagon-shaped table located in the corner of this oversized and casual room where the large windows that lined two intersecting walls reflected the fireplace light and from which the fading light of the day washed the room with a pastel hue. Jack sat at the table with his host while Rachael chatted with her mother and Donna in the kitchen. Soon, the Cayne's had arrived.

After being introduced to the Taylor's, Layton sat with Jack and Hugh at the table while Pamela, Donna, and Leslie continued their conversation in the kitchen. Morgan and Rachael were suddenly together in each other's company. Morgan struggled, but was able to maintain his composure as he spoke to Rachael near the fireplace. He felt somewhat awkward by his own good fortune to be in Rachael's singular presence and he leapt at the opportunity to help Hugh to carry some more wood in for the fire when he was asked. Rachael smiled inwardly that he seemed to be interested in her. She thought Morgan was very attractive and she was surprised that he might take an interest in her.

Morgan was very attractive but she had hardly noticed Morgan at school; she was a senior and was still meeting her own classmates. Still, she felt more than the warmth of the fire with him and she needed to catch her breath at the same moment as Morgan. When Hugh and Morgan put chopped wood next to the fireplace, Hugh added some wood to the fire and suggested that everyone gather at the table to look at the layout of the subdivision and some photos of the area.

Layton took over the conversation and described the prairieland peninsula that juts into the Mississippi River at the intersection with a large backwater region. Pamela and Jack were intrigued. Rachael blushed when she felt Morgan's eyes noticing her hair, but she kept her focus on the maps and photos that were on the table. To Morgan, even the hairs which were out of place and caught the light just _so_ seemed to be placed there for a reason. The prevailing conversation was only a minor distraction until Rachael looked over to Morgan and she asked him if he liked the area. Morgan paused in the singularity of the moment and in an awkward silence that everyone noticed, he proceeded to tell Rachael that he and his family had been going there since he was a child to camp along the sandy beaches and go water skiing on the river. He loved the area and his face brightened as he told her.

Pamela suggested that she and Jack take a drive there with Layton and Hugh on the following weekend. Donna said that she and Leslie could follow in a second car with Rachael and Morgan so that they could all eat at a popular restaurant nearby after touring the area.

They all agreed on the plan and Rachael was happy to see that Morgan seemed eager to come too. Suddenly, the distance between then and the following weekend seemed like a long time for everyone, but especially for Rachael and Morgan.

The following Saturday morning had arrived and the two vehicles made their way to tour the proposed region. When everyone departed their vehicles to chat at one of the available lots, Morgan asked Rachael if she would like to take a walk around the mile long inverted raindrop-shaped roadway of the peninsula. Rachael smiled at him and then he reached for her hand.

The accumulated snow was about six-inches deep in the secluded areas with mature trees, and the two of them began walking together hand-in-hand around a single large pine tree. Neither would remember very much of what was said between them, but the conversation was not important; neither noticed how many times they had walked together in circles around that big pine until they heard their names called. When they both realized that they had become mesmerized by each other, they stood side-by-side for a moment with each holding the others back to look at their footsteps in the snow and then they looked at each other's red cheeks, quickened breaths condensing in the air, and smiles of pure joy.

Rachael couldn't help herself and she reflexively kissed Morgan on his cheek and then she began walking toward the road to meet the others. Morgan was momentarily love-struck and then he hurried to catch up to her and was quick to reach again for her hand. Rachael's feet were not well protected from the frozen ground and she and Morgan were both aware that their feet were freezing. When they were safe back in the warm car, they blew their runny noses on tissue and helped each other to take off their coats and shoes. Morgan explained to Rachael that they were both about to suffer sharp pain in their feet as blood began to circulate in their feet again. Rachael had never suffered that experience before but Morgan was used to it, having grown up in Minnesota. They each sat with their backs to the sides of the car and put their feet between them. Morgan gently massaged Rachael's feet and Rachael responded in kind. Morgan apologized and said that he should have noticed and said something before that happened. Rachael was wincing in pain and said softly that she was glad that nothing had interfered with their walk. Donna and Leslie both looked at each other and smiled as they listened to the two young hearts giggling in the back.

Once at the restaurant, Pamela and Jack were eager to hear what Rachael's opinion of the area was. Rachael responded with, "I feel enchanted and at peace here. It feels like a slice of heaven right at sea level." Hugh chimed in, "That's why we call this 'God's' country." Pamela said that she and Jack would like to purchase a lot now and they would work on plans for a cabin to build in the future. Morgan said, "That is wonderful news. There are so many beautiful places to explore on land and in the backwaters in both summer and winter by snowmobile. You are going to love this!" Morgan was the only person there who didn't think his comment was obviously colored by his new-found feelings for Rachael, and the moment was beautiful for its sincerity and charm. Even the adults could feel connections growing between them as family because of the magic that had happened between two very wonderful people.

Rachael needed to say something, but was not sure how to begin her sentence. She started, "Donna may I..." and Donna replied, "Your mother told me that you are planning to attend school here for the medical secretarial program here after graduation. That sounds wonderful! You will have a very rewarding career and still be able to be close to your parents. I used to be a medical secretary until Layton and I started our family." Rachael blushed a little for her grace in complimenting her at a time that she felt socially awkward. "Thank you, Donna. I have really come to like our new home town, thanks especially to so many thoughtful people here, like you."

Jack followed by saying to Morgan, "Your father is obviously very proud of you and the relationship that you have working together. I admire your commitment to your career and your enthusiasm for doing the things that you enjoy. By contrast, I had been desultory in my youth, bouncing around from career to career as opportunities and circumstances dictated. I had one singular promise to keep and that was to comply with my mother's final wishes for me. She died giving birth to me and she was a beautiful person. She told me through my father that I was to learn mathematics and the sciences so that I could be a fighter pilot someday if I wanted to be, and that had become my dream to make her happy. I guess she thought that I would benefit by learning those things and be able to apply myself however I chose. In fact, I volunteered at the air force when I was your age, but I was needed elsewhere and took a different path during the war. I enjoy my career, but it rather happened to me than I chose to make it mine." Morgan looked at Rachael and then back at Jack and said, "I am sure that you have found ways to touch many people with your gifts and your passion for learning and teaching... and you have a very beautiful family. Your mother must be proud of you." Pamela spoke up, "Thank you Morgan; that is a touching remark to hear from you. I am so happy that our families have come together today. It is not real estate or objects that are important, but relationships."

Pamela was right, and important relationships had begun, but what she could not see was the effect that they would have on her life and on other relationships; a snowball effect that was completely necessary.

Rachael and Morgan soon began dating in March even while Rachael was preparing to graduate in May.
Unfinished Business

As unprepared as Morgan was to fall in love with Rachael, his former girlfriend, Monica Lancaster was unprepared to lose Morgan. They had started dating in January, 1980 and Morgan broke up with her in February, 1981, just one month before he and Rachael were introduced. Monica had become an established part of the circle of Morgan's family and friends. She was accustomed to being not only with Morgan, but with his younger brother, Julien and his girlfriend, Emaile Harrier. The four of them would occasionally get 'high' together on pot with another friend, Sonia Whitman. Sonia's boyfriend was Benny Prestor and he supplied their pot. Benny was older than the others and from the same graduating class as Rachael.

Rachael was never tempted by pot or by any part of the 'drug scene' and Morgan stopped smoking pot and from associating with his friends who did smoke after he and Rachael had met. From the perspective of Morgan's friends, he and Rachael had become socially exclusive, which was true.

Rachael graduated from high school in May and had moved to her own apartment on August 1st of 1981. She had become an adult and was planning her new life and career. Morgan was of the same frame of mind as Rachael, that is he understood the transition from adolescence to adulthood and simply needed to finish school as a prerequisite for where he already was intellectually.

Morgan had become much less engaged to school-life interests simply because he was looking forward to his own future and with the same maturity as Rachael; however his classmate contemporaries could not appreciate his perspective and they looked at him with suspicion and betrayal. As with any clandestine venture, high school drug use was more dangerous than most users imagined; anyone who left their circle of 'users' became a potential threat to those who remained because they might inform police on other users or on suppliers. Such was the notion that was planted in the mind of Benny Prestor.

Rachael was unaware of other's insecurity and concern that was happening behind the scenes at her recently former high school. She was happy with the direction of her life and she was in love for the first time.
The Plan to Kill Rachael

Benny Prestor was only mildly alarmed at first, when his girlfriend Sonia Whitman had told him about Morgan's split from her friend as well as all company associated with the casual drug scene at school. Rachael was not into drugs or smoking of any kind. Benny became much more concerned when Sonia mentioned that her best friend and Morgan's former girlfriend, Monica Lancaster wondered what she could do to help Sonia from being hurt by becoming exposed as a pot smoker and girlfriend to Benny, the drug dealer, because of Morgan. He became worried as Sonja reiterated Monica's warning of how strongly the motives might become for Morgan Cayne to open channels to authorities in order to help his younger brother Julien Cayne from sliding further into chemical dependency. Benny had graduated from high school with Rachael; however Sonia and her friends were still in high school and his business with students had proliferated over the past three years.

Benny dutifully notified his supplier, Leven Comstoby. Leven told Benny to relax and not to mention the subject again until Leven contacted him back.

Leven contacted his supplier, Pipe', a boorish and controlling little man that Leven necessarily respected but also was repulsed by. He described the potentially perilous situation for Benny and others if Rachael were to encourage Morgan to expose those with whom he used to smoke pot because of Julian's recent interest in 'speed'. Leven suggested a warning to Morgan, but Pipe' decided that it would be better to warn Rachael that Morgan could be hurt if he or she exposed others in order to help Julien. He reasoned that to directly warn Morgan might prompt him to act in defense of his younger brother, but also for the fact that he and the others were still in high school where news is instantaneous, unreliable, and monitored.

Leven made a covenant with Pipe' that Rachael should be warned and Leven volunteered to give the warning, since neither Rachael nor Morgan had ever met him. Leven was horrified, but dutifully agreed when Pipe' insisted that Leven's subordinate, Benny was expendable and would likely have to be killed in order to sever the ties between him and themselves as well as others higher up in the hierarchy within the drug ring.

The two of them began working on a plan, that would eventually gain approval by Pipe's colleagues, to coerce Rachael into staying quiet about Morgan's past pot use and the active participation of Benny, who would become a planned casualty as a part of the outcome, and whose death would serve the purpose of both severing ties to them and sending an unquestionable warning to Rachael, to Morgan, and to others that users have a responsibility to everyone involved to stay silent regarding broad questions that could implicate others should they get caught using drugs. The supply to users would suffer a temporary setback but the demand would not disappear and could be resupplied by a new recruit; someone younger and still in school there.

They decided to make a time frame for plans to mature within a few months per agreement of Pipe's colleagues, in the hope that Rachael's and Morgan's relationship might be short-lived if left alone and no measures for protection would be necessary, but they would be disappointed.

Benny was asked, and he was eager to agree to participate in the surveillance of Rachael and to play a role to create a distraction for the operation; he knew that to do otherwise would invite doubt or even retribution from his hierarchical superiors.

Benny discovered a pattern on Friday, August 28th that on sunny Friday afternoons, Rachael routinely left her apartment at 3:20 o'clock PM to jog over to her parent's house on the opposite side of the Silver Lake public park between them. Her mother, Pamela would routinely leave her house about ten minutes later to meet her part way and then they would walk together to Pamela's and Jack's house. Morgan would meet them there after school at around 5:15 o'clock PM and he would drive Rachael back home after visiting for a while and oftentimes he ate supper with them.

Benny was eager to set the plan into motion to warn Rachael and his eagerness concerned Leven because Leven knew that Benny's death was a part of the plan. He told Benny that he should take a vacation in order to relax and to be ready when the time was right to implement the plan. Leven paid for Benny's cruise vacation saying that he deserved a reward for his surveillance work. Benny left Thursday, September 24th, 1981 and returned two weeks later on Saturday, October 10th.

While Benny was gone, Leven helped Pipe' to arrange for a pipe-bomb to be fitted near the gas tank on the driver's side of Benny's car. Leven was told that the explosion from the bomb was designed to kill Benny instantly and then would ignite the fuel tank to destroy evidence. Leven only needed to attach a hidden looped wire to fit onto the hood-release lever in order to activate the trigger mechanism to the bomb, and would do so on the day of the operation.

Benny resumed his surveillance activity and was relieved that Rachael continued her Friday meetings after her classes had begun. Winter weather was on the horizon and Leven suggested that they implement the plan when Rachael made her first Friday jog in spring weather. They would rehearse and refine their plan in the interim and keep hope alive that Rachael or Morgan might tire of their relationship.

#  New Life

Rachael awoke on Monday with morning sickness. On Wednesday, March 3rd, 1982 she confirmed her suspicion that she was pregnant. Morgan was still in high school, and she had not completed her secretarial training classes, so she was very apprehensive of her parent's reaction to her news. She told Morgan on that same evening, and she was relieved that, although surprised, he had not recoiled in shock. In fact, he told Rachael not to worry and he reassured her that he would 'be there' for her however she chose to decide her pregnancy.

When Rachael learned that she was pregnant, she recalled lessons from her father that 'honesty is time sensitive' and 'honesty is the best policy', phrases that together with Morgan's reassurances, motivated her to feel confident and helped her to overcome her initial feelings of apprehension of telling her parents the truth of her situation. They both decided to tell Rachael's parents on the coming Friday, March 5th over dinner and to tell Morgan's parents on the following evening.

The weather forecast was for mild temperatures and snow late on Friday, so Rachael called her mother on Thursday and they planned their first jog of the season. Actually, Rachael was planning just to walk because of her condition. She really wanted the opportunity to break the news first with her mother and then look for support from her that might ease the shock to her sheltering and elderly father.

When Rachael was twelve-years-old, her father, Jack decided to become involved at her school in the only way that he knew how. While Rachael was uninterested and chose not to participate in the advanced math class that was his voluntary teaching position, she also was surprised at and disappointed in her classmates who thought of her dad as an inspiring teacher. She looked upon her father as a bit inauthentic, someone who was too focused on the miniscule and unable to visualize the broader scope of things, particularly as to how interpersonal relations were concerned. Rachael was much closer to her mother and wondered sometimes at why her mother was able to overlook the age differences between the two of them and the seemingly obvious shortcomings in her husband... 'How could she be such a warm and loving person and be attracted to someone with an excess of logic and shortage of feelings?'

Of course, Jack was far from having a shortage of feelings. It was just that his feelings were best expressed through the context of Rachael's and Pamela's expressions. His spirit was contained in a vessel which did not let all light in, just the rays through the narrow crannies opened by his love for his daughter and his wife. Equally important was his inability to release his inhibitions in order to express his feelings. No one, not even Jack understood why he was inhibited, but there was a reason... a very important reason which enabled him to fit into a world that was a misfit for him for personal reasons and for all others who just could not see fundamental flaws or who simply ignored them and would pass them down for unending generations. She didn't seem to know her father well enough to realize that he would be gracious under any circumstances where she was concerned, despite his generally understated demeanor.

She also didn't know at the time that Morgan had already purchased an engagement ring for her and had decided to propose to her in front of her parents that same evening... but the opportunity to do so failed to come to fruition.

It was 3:00 o'clock PM on Friday afternoon when Pamela came home from her work as a professor of economics and history at the local community college with some food she picked up for supper for herself, Jack, Rachael, and Morgan. She had changed into her jogging clothes to meet their daughter, Rachael in the park. Per their usual plans, they would meet and then walk back together to greet Jack, who usually came home an hour or so after they would arrive.

Today was different though, and Jack was home early from his work as a professor of mathematics twenty minutes later at 3:20 o'clock PM. Pamela left for her jog to meet Rachael at 3:30 o'clock PM just a few minutes before the telephone rang. Rachael had called to let her mother know that she had gotten a late start. Rachael would have left her apartment at 3:20 o'clock PM, but was interrupted by Marsha Daniels, her elderly neighbor in the apartment building. She had hoped to catch Pamela before she had left and told Jack that she would hurry to meet her mother. Jack told her that he would watch for Pamela and let her know what had happened in the event that she came back without Rachael.

Their three-season porch had a southwestern view of the park where Jack thought they might meet up and he brought some binoculars there to keep an eye on his wife and daughter while he read the newspaper and snacked on some cookies and milk. It was a beautiful time of day, the sun was alone in the clear sky and the March air was crisp and fresh without even a breeze. After a while, Jack turned the page of his newspaper and set it down to grab another cookie. As he reached for his binoculars, he heard the blast and could see that there was a car on fire at the traffic artery which divides the park. Jack called the emergency telephone number to report the incident and decided that it was not too far for him to walk for a closer look and to meet his wife and daughter too. It would take a while longer for him to get there than most; Jack relied on his cane for strength to walk due to the war-time injury to his leg.

Jack had arrived at the scene of a growing number of spectators near the car fire which had horribly killed and which continued to viciously consume Benny. Immediately after, Jack and the others heard what sounded like a gunshot over the noise of approaching emergency vehicle sirens and in that moment realized that his wife and daughter could be in danger.

A fire truck had arrived to put out the flames in the car and police were instructed to also investigate in the direction of the gunshot nearby. Jack waited nervously to see any sign of Pamela or Rachael to return from the same direction. Some police were protecting the perimeter of the crime scene as others called for medics to come to the knoll just above the footpath near Silver Lake. An ambulance arrived and spectators watched as only one of the two bodies was taken into the ambulance while firefighters had finally doused the flames and broken into Benny's car to remove his remains.

Jack anxiously made his way to a police officer who had come back from the direction of the sound of gunfire to say that his wife and daughter were missing. The officer described the unconscious victims and Jack knew that it was his wife, Pamela and his daughter, Rachael and then he fell to his knees in grief and shock... and then his vision blackened from the borders to the center, and then he defecated as he momentarily lost consciousness.

Jack fell to his face and stomach as the police officer called for medical assistance. Jack rolled over from his stomach to his back and was barely regaining consciousness as he looked up to see snowflakes falling. One landed on his tongue and melted as he opened his mouth to breathe.

As emergency medical technicians arrived with a stretcher to move Jack to the ambulance, Jack diverted his attention from the insufferable events at hand that Pamela or Rachael was gone and that the other was still at risk and he focused instead on the snowflake. He closed his eyes and thought of how that snowflake had completed its life cycle as it had landed on his tongue... or had it?

He remembered that water starts as a fluid form, becomes denser as it cools and then at a specific temperature and perhaps using a particle of dust as a substratum, it expands as it reveals its molecular structure and becomes a crystalline solid, but the snowflake made him think of Pamela and Rachael too: Each snowflake has equal opportunity, in the sum of all histories, to become any other snowflake. The snowflake which melted on his tongue was unique and may never be replicated again, just like Pamela and Rachael, yet it was one in billions that he might have seen homogeneously in the air although some might clump together and make more aerodynamic shapes which would reach the earth sooner. Like all other flakes, it was beautiful and under the identical influences of gravity and air.

He wondered silently what made their interaction with him happen. It just couldn't be random chance that the snowflake wasn't made special by how it made Jack feel or that Pamela or Rachael or himself would be the same people without their interaction. All eventually impact unique places on the earth and may have impact on our lives, the gleeful sensation of single snowflake on the tongue of a child, or the danger to many as a blizzard on a highway.

Neither the snowflake nor Jacks wife and daughter could exist without consequences, some intentional and some unintentional. The snowflake landed so gently, felt cool, wet and fresh, while Pamela and Rachael allowed Jack to feel an earthly connection to the world that he could not feel in their absence.

Unintended consequences... that thought would stay with Jack.

Jack was in the ambulance with Rachael as they both headed toward Saint Mary's hospital.

Pamela and Benny were taken away by the coroner and a flat-bed truck hauled Benny's no-longer recognizable charred car. Benny's body was covered to conceal his frighteningly and horribly chard and disfigured body. No one would ever witness Pamela's heroism or experience her warmth and grace again; both were beloved by others and both were gone forever.

Morgan came home to his parent's house and he was anxious to change from his school clothes and to meet Rachael at her parent's house in her support, but he also felt trepidation for how their news might be received. They had planned to tell her parents that she was pregnant. They were not yet married but Morgan planned to ask her to marry him in front of her parents. Morgan took with him the first note that Rachael had left for him saying that she loved him. He kept it on his bed stand by his alarm clock so that he would see it each morning. It was outlined in artistic swirls and he had planned to share how much it means to him with her parents for the occasion.

The house of Rachel's parents was empty when he arrived there and he could only suppose that perhaps they had gone out to dinner or somewhere else without him. He immediately felt alone and rejected for potentially missing out on sharing such important news. "How could they _not_ think of him?" he thought. He left to go back home and wait for a call.

Soon after he returned home, the telephone rang. It was Saint Mary's Hospital letting him know that Jack had called for him and that there was an emergency situation.

Morgan met Jack in Rachael's hospital room. Rachael's head was in bandages. Her condition was critical but stable, yet she was in a coma and no one could predict if it might be short-lived.

Jack told Morgan that she may need to have surgery in the morning if bone fragments from her skull broke into her brain from blunt trauma. He mentioned to Morgan that she was struck where she had a previous injury to her skull from when she was eight-years-old and horseback riding.

Morgan was closer to Pamela than to Jack, prior to Pamela's death, so Morgan swallowed hard before he told Jack that he and Rachael were planning to share the news that Rachael was pregnant. He then showed Jack the engagement ring that he was planning to surprise Rachael with that very night in Jack and Pamela's home. Then Jack told Morgan the news that his future mother-in-law died from a gunshot by the same attacker and they both stared at each other for a moment in stunned silence and then they both cried in each other's arms.

Morgan told Jack that his parents had brought him and his sister, Melissa and his brother, Julien Cayne but that he wished only to stay with Jack and have the nurse tell the others stay out of the room for awhile. It was too great a burden to share so much news and tragedy that was in orbit about the two of them.

When Rachael was attacked and Pamela was killed Jack felt that his greatest ties to the earth had been shattered and that he had lost some connection to reality. His grief was inconsolable and he was numb to people around him, except for Morgan. Jack knew that Morgan's grief was equal to his own. Each had grief that differed in its properties, but was equally immeasurable. Being there for Morgan to share his grief helped Jack deal with his own, but the wounds were still too fresh for Jack to notice the improvement. Morgan had become his life line and Jack had become Morgan's connection to a still struggling Rachael. As they comforted each other in their weakest moment, neither could know how strong the bonds of family and respect would develop between them.

#  Discovery and Containment

The police arrived at the hospital room and suggested that Jack and Morgan come to the police station for questioning. Jack was under the influence of medications for shock and would be watched overnight in the hospital and an officer was left to question any visitors and to keep Jack safe from any potential harm. Jack gave permission for investigators to search his house for any useful evidence which might suggest a motive for the crimes and then he called his friend and attorney, Megan Sanders and asked her to represent him. Jack was clear-minded enough to recall his wartime participation in espionage in WWII against Germany and that he was offered the services of the FBI if ever suspicious activity surrounded him.

Jack also asked Megan to suggest to Morgan and his father Layton for permission to speak with the two of them together and be their liaison when or if they could not be in each other's company. She promptly informed the FBI as to the nature of events surrounding Jack, and they dispatched a team to assist local police in the investigation.

When Megan Sanders called Morgan at the police station, he was happy to accept Jack's outreach and he was relieved to know that Jack believed in him and wanted him to be safe. Layton gladly approved, since Morgan was still a minor. Megan then advised the police that she had asked the FBI to take some personal belongings from Jack's home and to store them in an apartment where Jack could visit and be safe.

The FBI drove Jack to Jack's house and they parked for a moment across the street, where they witnessed a dozen or so men bringing boxes of personal things from his home and where they were doing a thorough search of his premises and then they went inside to add personal items and clothes that could be stored off-site in an apartment for Jack to use and to occasionally stay at until the environment was deemed safe for him.

Jack would not be allowed to go home until the environment seemed secure, nor did he want to. Even though he felt it was not likely that a domestic or foreign plot had been initiated against him; after all, that would probably have happened closer to the end of that war and not now. In any case there was no one at home anymore; therefore there was no life for Jack there either.

The FBI soon provided an apartment near the hospital where Rachael lay, for most of his personal belongings and a place at the Assisi Heights Convent for a primary place for him to stay as well, in order to minimize potential risk of an unfinished plot.

Jack agreed with his captor/protectors that his past likely had little or nothing to do with his tragic loss, but they would need to be close at hand until more information was learned about the crimes.

Meanwhile, Morgan was being questioned by police. Morgan's world was freshly shattered, but he willingly opened his heart and mind about his past and his possible influence upon the tragic events which had transpired.

The FBI reported to Jack that they had arranged to have an officer watch for suspicious activity at the university where he taught and that Morgan was providing helpful information for the local police investigation.

Morgan learned from the police that Benny Prestor was the man who died in the blazing car fire and he immediately responded to them that Monica Lancaster was Morgan Cayne's former girlfriend (February 1980 – January 1981) before Morgan met and fell in love with Rachael (March 1981) and that he formerly knew Benny Prestor and his girlfriend, Sonia Whitman.

Morgan was strong and he accepted his responsibility to tell the entire truth in order to help all who suffered and all who should be held to account.

When Jack heard that, he feared that Morgan might also be in danger and he ordered them to provide safety for Morgan in the same convent. That would also allow them to learn from each other, any details which might become beneficial to police. The FBI argued that it is unwise to house them within the same facility. Megan agreed that Jack and Morgan may both be in danger and informed the FBI to find another room for Jack so that Morgan would also have a safe place at alternate intervals in Jack's apartment for safety from potential foes. The FBI compromised by finding a double apartment for storage of Jack's personal possessions and a room to sleep. They would be able to share living quarters both at the apartment and at the convent but that it would be rare that they should share the same building at the same time for their own protection.

The FBI provided Jack with an inconspicuous late-model car and warehoused his and Pamela's cars, just to be safe. They also gave him the keys to an apartment located two blocks north of the hospital, which stored some of his personal belongings, and which provided an alternate place for him to stay so that he could be alone. He needed his time alone in order to process how his life might continue with the loss of his wife, Pamela and the threatened loss of his forever baby daughter, Rachael. What might his purpose in life be, if his only remaining earthly tether were cut?

Morgan spent most of the night with Jack's attorney, Megan Sanders, and police as he cudgeled his mind to provide potential motives for the crimes while deflecting his own sorrow and grief. His debriefing was a compendium of angry dissertation of the unlikely but potential perpetrators of violence, of his own complicit associations with them and remorse.

Jack spent his first night in the Assisi Heights convent in a room made of stone. He didn't think that he would be able to sleep and he took a sleeping medication that was offered to him, however it only sapped the energy from his body leaving it almost paralyzed while his mind remained active and restless. His mind was tortured by his thoughts of 'why' and 'how' the horror of the day's events unfolded while he was imprisoned within a cataleptic body. His mind oscillated between thinking of Rachael and Pamela and being angry at the world; no, it was not anger, it was emotional pain that lashed out from him. 'What is it that must have happened to some tortured mind that had caused his world to degenerate into dystopia?'

There were strangers from the FBI outside the room where he closed his eyes to the reality that his world had crashed. Jack needed time to sleep and time to think, but his mind was in stalemate and there was no relief in sight, so he did what he could; he imagined flying through the air to the hospital where his precious baby girl, his Rachael lay in unknowing pain and suffering from her brutal attack. He thought, "Don't you worry, baby girl. I am with you. There is no pain that you and I cannot endure together. You are going to be fine and so is your baby... my grandchild!" Jack couldn't hear her weak response, but I did; "He's just beyond my reach but I can see him and I can hear his thoughts..."

#  The Environmental Impact Assessment of Crime

In the stillness of this strange and cold place, Jack's feeling of desolation came home again, as it had in the literal shock of the moment at hearing of the attack upon his wife and daughter. He remembered the intolerance of most Americans against those innocent others, like Pamela with a Japanese heritage following the Japanese attack upon Pearl Harbor in Hawaii. He was a witness to the time when Pamela was a child and she and her parents were kept interned in camps in California during WWII, simply because of their heritage. Jack thought about how he and Pamela almost always did things together, even shopping. Although Jack had always thought that he was secretly protective of Pamela, it had occurred to him that he might no longer be able to do any of the fun and simple things, like shopping, alone. The purpose in his life was to quite simply be the best that he could be and to do whatever he could for Rachael and Pamela. Now he would need to fend for himself as best he could and to be there to support Rachael and Morgan.

Suddenly, intimate thoughts of becoming a grandparent for the first time washed over him and warmed his heart. He imagined, not only witnessing, but becoming a part of another new life in the family. However, that respite from his grief and agony was brief as he recalled that there was no verdict yet as to the outcome of Rachael's or her baby's health.

Jack thought of the victims of the crime... so far: He imagined the image of Pamela being shot through her chest, his 'baby' girl, Rachael, who just days ago learned that she is pregnant and who now languished unconscious in a hospital room with head trauma, and Rachael's baby, whose life lay in the balance... and then there is Morgan, Jack's soon-to-be son-in-law. Morgan might also be in danger; and Benny's ghastly death. Morgan might become Jack's only remaining family, if Morgan would only think of him as 'family'. Where else might an environmental impact assessment lead when the law properly considered the reaction to an action of violence against one or more people? "Oh yes!" he thought. He had almost forgotten about himself.

Just by being born, Rachael had met Morgan and thus, had an indirect relationship with Leven, which led to the death of her mother and Jack's wife, Pamela. He was horrified by the thought that by being her father, he too was remotely responsible for the death of someone who gave life to the meaning of his own life. As he lay on his back with his hands folded across his chest, he pondered that fact. Pondering might allow him to escape the thoughts of his losses which he knew were too painful and would overwhelm him.

Jack turned his attention again to the environmental impact assessment as it should apply in the legal system. How might justice be completely meted out in the wake of a crime when a party of interest might even include the parent of someone who was the primary moral hazard in a crime? Jack already knew that punishment for a crime is nuanced by the sequence of events of a crime and by the subjects who participated directly or indirectly. He thought of an example; during a simple mugging, if the victim were to run away but by accident into the path of an oncoming car, then the mugger would be charged for a degree of murder, even though there was no intent to murder, and the driver of the car that killed the victim might be free from any responsibility for the victim's death.

An environmental impact assessment might also include some positive outcome; what if a death from a gun resulted in fewer future deaths if that death was so reprehensible that gun sales declined or encouraged laws that limited access to guns by those who are or could be irresponsible or dangerous agents to society by having a gun, or eliminated access to guns altogether? How would one determine the limits of personal responsibility within the context of crime?

With the subject of guns as a general point of interest, what about the right people have to be free from violence by those who own tools designed to kill; guns and other weapons? After all, it's not about 'gun safety', people don't need to be worried about the health or safety of guns, and it's not about the right of people to own guns, unless that right is somehow seen as greater than the right for others to pursue life. Why wouldn't the availability of guns be a primary lesson for every crime involving a gun so that society could work towards ending violence committed by people who feel that it is their right to own guns? Even if the impact on gun sales that results from a crime is considered positive or negative, it would need to be considered within the context of the likelihood of change and if that likelihood is of a significant degree. Even the fact that a court might make an assessment as to potential positive income, the resultant outcome of the court's decision will in itself impact outcome.

Some threshold may need to be established for the particular incident which would negate the importance of precedent made in other similar cases. While it could be included as a guideline, depending on circumstances, it should be a small influence on decisions of justice. Those decisions should be more heavily weighted by the environmental impact assessment itself. A second example would be the horrific murder of a helpless and innocent infant by a teenager who had obtained a gun by stealing it from someone; then the environmental impact assessment would include all gun owners and manufacturers, for they all know or should know that some of their weapons have or will be used to hurt or to kill innocents and legislators should be handed the task to maintain public safety by passing laws which will make the public _safe_ from predators using tools of lethal force. Therefore, justice is flawed by its current myopic perspective, one that lacks an inventory of participants and an environmental impact assessment; but how cumbersome would it be for a more comprehensive approach to law and justice?

The person, who killed another with his car or by any means, impacted that person's spouse and children, and nephews and nieces... and potentially many more people and their plans. It should be the victims of crime who are the focus of the media while law enforcement takes steps to make society safe from the potential threat of future harm and makes account of all victims and all of those who play a role in the moral hazard of the event or events.

Victims of crime would be the focus of a more holistic judicial system and Jack considered the environmental impact of crimes, not only to the direct victims, but also as insult to families, groups and potentially to society at large.

Minutes later, Jack did fall asleep and while it was only momentarily, he slept long enough to dream that he was in an apartment by himself and that two young girls came up the stairs to have their pictures taken. Jack needed to finish dressing while they occupied the adjacent room. They both thought Jack was a fashion designer, and he was.

One of the girls said that she had contacted another fashion designer to come there and soon the rooms were filled with fashion designers at a party in Jack's apartment. While other designers were dressing and re-dressing Jack in beautiful women's clothing, one of the designers sitting comfortably in an over-stuffed chair decorously asked Jack her name. He and everyone thought Jack was a famous designer herself, but everyone was too shy to ask her name, each was thinking that they should know her name; after all, the party was at her house.

Jack awoke astonished. He had never had a dream where he was female and was feeling quite disturbed that he ever would. He wondered what the significance of the dream was and he was embarrassed at himself for having it; and then he considered how Pamela and Rachael were his connection to the real world and how he sheltered himself from the concerns of most people by being focused and distracted by his own mathematical and scientific posits.

Suddenly, he realized how alone he would be without the two of them in his life. At least he was not left _completely_ alone... for the moment; Rachael was struggling for her own life and there was yet another life within her who might be struggling as well... and what about Morgan?

Jack sat up in his bed and he surprised himself as he started to cry. He felt helpless and miserable and he cried as though he had never shed a tear; he cried like a baby, a _girl_ baby. His life was forever changed, no matter the shrouded potential histories that awaited his life. Pamela was gone.

Pamela, as a gifted professor of economics, had taught him that the current value of an investment was the present value of anticipated future benefits. How might a judge and jury view the difference of his personal present value as the difference or impact from before and after the events of Pamela's death and the attack upon Rachael? How might that same difference in measure of present value before and after the date of the crime be applied to all of the victims of an environmental impact assessment in order to determine the proper judicial recourse in order to protect civil society?

Even within the context of financial investment, Jack reflected on his arguments with Pamela about the application of present value in investing decisions. Jack had argued that the original purpose of investments had made sense up and to that present time, but that the recent affordability of business computers would eventually change the motive of investment in things like the stock market from a close analysis of the location, management, channels of supply and distribution, etc. to a means to an end with immediate returns based upon instantaneous trading and analysis of trend lines for various company performances and competition. Put another way, investments for immediate or very short –term gain based upon statistical trend lines in the market was equivalent to gambling and the transformation from investment to gambling would be a fundamental flaw in the market which would lead to competitive investments for increasing investor returns. The outlay for anticipated future gains would eventually and always exceed the public view of value and the market would suddenly and unexpectedly correct itself by deflating markedly.

The trend lines would always attract gambling beyond an inflection point, at which time some would lose, just as in the childhood game, 'musical chairs'. In the end, interest rates on loans and investments are parasitic to economic development and reward those who take an imaginary personal risk; the risk is actually incumbent upon all of us who eventually pay for a bankruptcy or bail out the bank that has make 'risky' decisions, which may, through the passage of time, become redefined from 'risk assessment' to 'wrong' or 'bad' decisions. Congruently, the rewards for 'risk' are not reciprocal; therefore, the investment system is fundamentally flawed.

Jack understood the development of the kind of mathematics applicable for free markets, however there were assumptions that he thought could have been overlooked, or at least minimized while someone might be modeling the equations which investors of all kinds were accustomed to using; assumptions which when overlooked may present cyclical problems (like recessions or depressions) or worse, a calamity or eventual loss in faith by participants in the market which result in comprehensive failure.

Time is discrete vs. continuous (Planck Time is the smallest unit of time) and the continuous progression of time as the human brain interprets it is an illusion, according to physics. Application of statistics in measuring trends in the investment market makes sense from the macro view, but not for long-term, perhaps in part due to the discrete nature of time.

For example; if the caldera of the super-volcano at Yellow Stone National Park is overdue for eruption based upon its average event cycle, do the odds for an eruption increase, or might there be too few known eruptions to make an informed judgment, or might the earth's crust have moved to be where it is thicker over the caldera so that it is not possible to predict the next, if any potential eruption? Similarly, but on a much simpler scale, if the daily meteorological forecast is for rain, but it has not rained by ten o'clock PM, is it highly likely that rain will happen before midnight? These examples are of forecasting based upon statistics, which is a better measure for gambling than historic motivation for investment.

Jack and Pamela had mutual funds and other retirement investments and Jack wondered if his participation in the investment game of 'musical chairs' made him more than a hypocrite to being an endorser of the legitimacy of the game, knowing that some will eventually lose big time, just as most will lose (statistics promises) at a gambling casino. Jack would have to consider that he was partly responsible for losses that some would endure because they (the victims of a fundamentally flawed system) believed in the legitimacy of that system partly because he and others endorsed that system through his and their own participation. At least, that is how he would have to view his participation in a market system that he expected would fail in the before and after analysis of present value as it relates to the damages in the judicial review of an environmental impact assessment of victims.

Jack interrupted himself saying that these are not the times to be thinking of personal investment strategy. This thought too, would be shelved while he thought of how investments could and should be corrected; but even that thought was unimportant to his life _now_.

Jack's mind was not ready for this; while he suddenly realized that his unbearable pain consequent to the violence committed against Rachael and Pamela over stimulated his innate curiosity and reasoning to sort, classify and analyze the circumstances of the events, they provided only temporary respite. He knew that answers were solutions; a means to survive and would allow him to eventually move through his pain. He would need to understand the truth; to fully comprehend the source of his pain and to end the otherwise persistent questions which would always remind him of his pain and leave him spinning in a maelstrom of anguish.

Jack realized that he needed to teach himself to take measured steps in order to avoid tripping over the subjects which were already dancing like whirling dervishes in his mind. Without some control over his mind, the pain from the macro view of the events without some measured positive reaction could lead to an inability to hope or to cope. Jack was grateful that he could see in advance the potential of his mind spiraling out of control to a crash. He knew that he had to be strong for Rachael and for Morgan, but now he also knew that he would have to make it a habit to think about tangential events in measured steps in order to eventually come to terms with the totality of his loss. Importantly, Jack also considered how a city, state, a country or even humankind might respond to such a loss as to leave it in chaos.

Jack smiled briefly in disbelief at himself. He knew that he would tuck those thoughts away for further development too, because they made sense to him for the application of justice, survival, and for his own resolution of where his life was so that he could take stock and make plans for a new future.

Finally, exhaustion overtook him and he surrendered to the needs of his mind and his body for sleep. This time, his dream was quite different.

When WWII had broken out due to the attack upon Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941 Jack wanted to serve as an air force or a naval pilot, but the US Navy had other plans for him. Tonight though, as he drifted into sleep he was thinking of flying a fighter.

He was high above the clouds when enemy shrapnel ripped through his starboard wing and flames began streaming from the impacted site. The wing was barely holding together and began to fail. Jack put his plane into a clockwise spiral toward earth to minimize the spread of flames to the rest of his aircraft and to lessen the load for the damaged wing.

During his dizzying path, the broken wing eventually separated and Jack lost all control. This lonely and silent crash into the ocean below would be the end to his story; however he did not fear his death. He was calm as he closed his eyes and waited to transition from his place among the living. After preparing himself, it occurred to him that he had been waiting for impact long beyond his estimate and he opened his eyes again. All that he could see around him were clouds and the smoke and flames from his wing. He shut the engine off and closed his eyes a second time as he listened to the rushing air and the crackling of the fragmented metal and flames on his right side. Still circling in the ceaseless spiral for some time, Jack opened his eyes again to see the approaching earth and, at that very moment, Jack felt a cushioned impact that was not at all frightening.

Strangely, Jack's plane had impacted an enormous living cell and penetrated its pliable and elastic cellular membrane. The flames from the wing were extinguished and Jack's fighter had slowed to a crawl as it meandered through the cytoplasm under its limited remaining momentum.

He was holding his breath within the dry cockpit and took inventory of himself in order to find that he was still alive and then he exhaled. He blinked as he realized that he was still no longer the author of his fate, nor did he care to be; the situation had changed but remained hopeless for him to survive. He wondered, "How could I have survived to now? Has time slowed to a crawl as it can seem to do in a traumatic event, or had the shock of the energy from his fighter as it impacted and penetrated the cellular membrane been absorbed by the various components of the cytoplasm, gasses, liquids and solids, and by the way, how might their component sizes, shapes, specific gravity and polarity have played a role in absorbing the shock by becoming temporarily compressed?"

Satisfied that he had indeed slowed to a crawl and that life's frames per second had not slowed, Jack released his seat restraints and freed himself from the craft to become a living component of his living host. He reasoned that he should die by his own hand willingly, and to become a part of the cell rather than be killed as a threat to the cell. Surprisingly, he was still able to breathe in his weightless and directionless environment. There was light enough for him to see though and he wondered to himself if the living cell was enormous, or if he and his fighter plane had somehow been reduced in scale. He watched as his fighter was dismantled and dissolved by invisible chemicals... or could they be antibodies? He thought about the environment which he had entered and which saved his life, and yet he felt helpless to defend himself from being torn apart by a single cellular organism which thought him to be its infectious enemy.

Suddenly, there was thunderous clap and Jack exploded into a cloud of tiny seeds along a hillside in some lonely mountainous tundra. Beautiful flowers that lived because of him were in contrast to the lichens that were there alone and among the rocks before he arrived. His life now had meaning by bringing beauty to an otherwise desolate environment.

Jack awoke and jotted some notes about his dream. He decided to use some of the details in his dream to help him glean new insights to the ideas that were helping him to cope and then he wrote this affirmation to stay strong: "I have a destiny. _HUMANKIND HAS A DESTINY._ "

Rachael's health had taken a turn for the worse overnight and he left to be with her.

#  A Family is Born

Jack was relieved that Morgan was already there at the hospital and at Rachael's side when he arrived. Morgan noticed that Jack looked as though he went through a tough night and remarked at how surprised he was that he could sleep after talking with his attorney, Megan and emptying his mind to her concerning all of the questions surrounding the crimes against Pamela, Rachael and Benny.

Jack told Morgan not to worry and that they can hope for the best outcome from this tragedy while finding closure as long as they remain family. Morgan was surprised by Jack's statement. Jack didn't seem to be the same logical, emotionally detached and socially constrained person that he and others had come to know. Jack appeared unaware that he had changed, but even _he_ noticed.

His compassion and love had been hidden from view because he depended on Rachael and Pamela to provide that perspective to his narrow focus on the path of his life. Now, the essence of them would need his protection through those previously hidden values; hidden because they would betray his masculine self-perception. Somehow, writing that affirmation about destiny had given strength to him and he was able to show strength by example, to Morgan.

Rachael's doctor walked inside and asked Morgan to leave the two of them alone to talk, but Jack protested, "Morgan is family and if he chooses to be here regarding Rachael and her pregnancy then I will not object." Morgan looked again at Jack with some appreciation for acknowledging the new found feelings of family between them. The doctor proceeded to explain that Rachael's head trauma was found to be worse than previously thought; her skull had left a small bone fragment lodged within the left hemisphere of her brain, which would require immediate surgery to remove it.

He continued that Rachael might recover from her coma at any time, or never, and that brain surgery was complicated by her pregnancy; the fetus might be fatally harmed under a general anesthetic. On the other hand, Rachael's chance of recovery may be increased if her pregnancy were terminated first. There was a third option, that Rachael may not be aware of her brain surgery and may not need an anesthetic at all, but we would all have to wait until the hopeful day when Rachael would recover from her coma before learning if she would recall her unspeakable moment-to-moment horror of the details and pain of her surgery. Whichever decision was to be made, the opportunity to save Rachael was fleeting.

Morgan sat down with his head in his hands as he contemplated the magnitude of the decision at hand, but Jack, who might have been expected to be ambivalent under similar circumstances rose to the occasion: "You must do the surgery without anesthetic." The doctor and Morgan were both startled by the decisiveness in Jack's voice. Jack explained that in all circumstances that he will support Morgan in the hopeful case that Rachael and her pregnancy survives, but also in the event that either or neither will survive; he would adopt Rachael's baby if Morgan felt unable to support a child with or without his help. He pointed out to Morgan that the decision to terminate her pregnancy can only be made by Rachael, but that his decision is made easier knowing how much Rachael loved Morgan and that she would likewise love her baby.

Morgan's family had come to the hospital and they were waiting outside of Rachael's room. Jack said that he would greet them outside in order to give Morgan some time alone with Rachael. Morgan was weeping quietly, but looked up, again in surprise at Jack's magnanimity.

Morgan held Rachael's hand and kissed her on her cheek and said with a new-found confidence that she will be fine and that they will be together soon. He never had such a strong feeling of the larger family which now included Jack before then.

Meanwhile, Jack was conversing with Morgan's family, and he began to cry as he expressed to them how very proud of Morgan he had become. No one, not even Jack was ready to see the tears, and everyone was moved by the sight and the depth of his emotion as he spoke. Obviously, Jack loved Morgan as family as much as everyone there, and Jack became a full-fledged member of their family in the moment.

Morgan came out of Rachael's room as she was being escorted to the operating room and in time to witness the outpouring of love between his family and Jack. The attendants for Rachael paused for a moment to allow Jack and Morgan to kiss Rachael's cheek. The burgeoning familial bonds between Jack and Morgan and between Jack and Morgan's family were strengthened even more.

Two hours later, the operation to reduce the internal cranial pressure on her brain from subdural hematoma and to remove the bone fragment from Rachael's brain was successful. A synthetic mesh covered the open site where her Dura mater was breached and she was in stable condition. The extent of brain damage did not seem severe, but occurred at the site of a former brain trauma from when Rachael was eight-years-old and she fell from a horse. Only time would tell; if Rachael came out of her coma, so that the extent of her brain injury could be more accurately assessed.

After hugs all around in relief that the surgery went well, Jack and Morgan were escorted through different exits to awaiting vehicles to take them to be rejoined for a lunch together at a restaurant located ten miles north of the city along a lakeshore.

Megan drove Morgan there and then she seated herself at a table in the restaurant far enough away from Jack and Morgan to allow them to have dinner together. She would join them later for desert or coffee. Jack came in his car so that Morgan could drive it home, which would allow Jack to meet with Megan as she drove him to Assisi Heights.

Morgan noticed how the anxiety of the day and the nearly sleepless night before were showing on Jack's face as he came into the restaurant, and yet Jack's face lit up as soon as he saw Morgan. Megan waved to him from across the restaurant to acknowledge that she was there, and then turned back to her newspaper.

Jack asked Morgan how he was holding up and Morgan responded that he felt relieved but uncertain. Jack assured him that he will be alright, but that both of their lives will remain in an uncomfortable state until they can be found to be safe and that Rachael would fully recover. Morgan asked Jack what he had done in WWII to have the attention of the FBI, but Jack deflected saying that his participation was not the likely cause for the violent attacks and he thought that they were both fortunate to have some protection from the perpetrators of the crimes.

They ordered light lunches and they both talked about Rachael and their hope that she would fully recover. Morgan saw Jack's eyes sparkle as he spoke of becoming a grandparent and how wonderful to witness such a beautiful new life with unlimited potential surrounded by caring and loving people. Although the words were surprisingly supportive to hear, this was not the language that Morgan or anyone was accustomed to hearing from the lips of Jack. Morgan watched as the sparkle in Jack's eyes turned into tears which ran down his cheeks, even though the expression on Jack's smiling face had not changed. Jack was recalling that Pamela would never share the warm feeling in the moment which had come over him.

During dinner, Morgan asked how Jack was doing. Jack unexpectedly began sobbing. Megan rushed to their table to help console Jack. After he collected himself, he told them that he needs to understand the motivations for all concerned with the crimes against Pamela, Rachael and Benny in order to escape feeling crushed and moribund. Jack told them that even while he needed to be strong with hope for Rachael and that her pregnancy would be saved, the bewildering circumstances were making him weak with so many questions that needed to be answered and so many emotions needed closure.

It was then that Morgan realized that his _rock_ , Jack was changing in the wake of their tragedy and as fragile as he himself felt. He also knew that they would need each other's support in order to deal with what life had thrown their way.

Megan drove Jack back to Assisi Heights to rest, and Morgan returned to the Hospital to be with his family and with Rachael.

#  Emotions Need to Bleed in Order for Our Souls to Heal

The drive back to Assisi Heights from the restaurant with Megan seemed much longer than it should have for Jack. He realized that a part of him was coming out which had been hidden for most of his life. He never allowed himself to be seen as vulnerable or weak, it did not match the type of person that his father thought he should be and he was embarrassed, but too exhausted to care.

Megan filled-in the silence by telling Jack that emotions need to bleed in order for our souls to heal. She added that her job was most rewarding when the truth was brought to light which helped people to have closure and to move-on with their lives. She told Jack that Morgan was surprised as he learned that it was Benny who was killed in the car fire during attack on Pamela and Rachael. He explained in detail, the relationship he had with his younger brother, Julien, Benny's girlfriend and others and that it was Benny who was their small time drug-dealer. While the identification of Benny would provide leads to follow, there was still concern that the deaths were motivated by Jack's former activities during WWII and that both Jack and Morgan could still be in danger.

Megan told Jack that Pamela had acted heroically as she had run to aid Benny and she tried to open his door and then broke his window with metal debris from the explosion to try to free him. There were lacerations about her hands and arms from broken glass; and her lips, hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows were all singed by flames lashing out from the shattered window at Benny's jammed car door. Jack shuddered as he thought about the horror that she must have felt to be so close a witness to Benny's screaming and unimaginable suffering.

She was unable to save Benny but then as she gave up the fight for him, she apparently witnessed the attacker with Rachael or even saw the attack itself. Surprisingly, no one from the scene where Benny died followed Pamela as she ran up a knoll. She was shot dead at the scene where Rachael was laying wounded near a footpath beneath a bridge along the Zumbro River. She died while trying to save her daughter.

Rachael was found unconscious with bruising about her neck and blood about her face and hair. She may have been struck in the head by the gun which had killed Pamela.

Jack shuddered as he recalled the sound of the gunshot and he saw the horror in his mind's eye as the bullet ripped through his wife's chest and then he watched to see the love of his life, Pamela fall to the cold earth.

Megan told Jack that she would let him know about any changes in Rachael's condition but that he should rest. She had taken the liberty of requesting a temporary leave-of-absence from the college where he taught and she was told to relay a message to Jack that he should not worry, that his colleagues were well equipped to take over his responsibilities.

As they arrived at Assisi Heights, Jack thanked Megan for her compassion and for her assistance to Morgan and to him. Megan promised to keep Jack apprised of any news from the investigation and that she was arranging for a tutor to help Morgan with his high school academics per Jack's request. He would likely be an absentee student until he graduated in June, three months hence.

The sunlight was only beginning to fade in the afternoon, but Jack felt worn out and ready to sleep. He arrived at his room to find a note under the door. He called the number on the note and learned that his father in San Diego, California, Warren Taylor had passed on. Warren's attorney, Paul Montgomery had answered his call and he said that there would be more details regarding the will, but that he would wait until after Pamela's funeral. Jack told him that he would give Megan his telephone number and he would ask her to follow up with him in the next few days.

As he hung up the telephone, it seemed strange to Jack that Paul had already learned of Pamela's death and he never had offered condolences for the loss of Pamela or for his father Warren. It seemed equally strange to Jack that he simply had no reaction at all for news of the loss of his father.

He looked down at the note that he had penned after the sleepless night before, "I have a destiny. _HUMANKIND HAS A DESTINY._ "

He thought only briefly of his bigoted father, for he could never accept the relationship that he, his own son, would have with a woman of Asian ancestry and then he turned his thoughts again to his wife, Pamela; she was really gone! He then paused and thought again of his shameful father, but then he reprimanded himself not to associate anger along with the memory of his father. Warren was a member of the German American Bund, a group in the US whose mission was to promote an attractive view of Nazi Germany, even before Japan attacked Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941.

Jack was only seventeen-years-old when he applied to the US Air Force, and Warren was thrilled that Jack would be fighting the Japanese. However, service recruiters recognized that Jack's aptitude in mathematics and the sciences, plus his fluid bi-lingual skills in English and German being born of a Polish mother (me) and German father (then known as Martin Niemöller) made him supremely qualified for the Navy in the European theater. The air force had betrayed his dream and the Navy was to steer him into their realm; and also away from the Pacific theater and to the European war and to Germany herself. Jack served as counter intelligence for the Americans and British. He became intimately involved in a cooperative effort with the American navy, the British navy and Polish resistors to gain control of a German U-boat (submarine) for British cryptologists to decipher the German coding device known as the Enigma ciphering machine.

The British had agents and Polish resistance supporters in Szczecin, Poland where Jack's family had emigrated from and Jack was smuggled back into that city. His comrades there would serve as references to Jack as he began his assignment, which was to gain the trust of the German navy and become a seaman on board one of their U-boats, which at that time, were being sunk by the Allies at alarming rates to the Germans because of advances in Allied aerial bomber flight range, radar and sonar technology. If all went according to plan, Jack would help to deliver an intact German submarine with the encoding encryption device to British intelligence to the mid-Atlantic gap; the small region where allied planes still lacked the fuel supply and range to cover shipping to Brittan.

The plan was choreographed to take place over a year and would enable the Western Allies to have the colossal advantage of understanding enemy orders coming from the German high command to their soldiers and sailors, potentially for the duration of the war. As it turned out, Jack excelled in his duties and he played a key role in a pivotal event which assisted the Americans and the British and turned the course of the war from the defense of Brittan to the defeat of Hitler's third Reich.

Warren was unaware of the navy's plans for Jack, but he was infuriated that Jack would fight the Nazi's and much later, he was humiliated by Jack for falling in love and marrying Pamela, a California native who, along with her family, was interned as were all Japanese Americans humiliated during the war.

Pamela was fourteen years younger than Jack and she would never miss getting to know the dark side of Warren's heart. He was old enough to be her grandfather and he made good on his word that he would not come to their wedding in 1959 and that he would banish Jack from him, from family, and from any of his associates if he went through with the marriage. Jack was an only child and Warren was Jack's only parent (I was lost to him during childbirth).

Jack would never understand how such hatred could find its way into his father's heart and mind. Warren's voice was always so soft and his smile as warm whenever he remembered me to Jack and Jack grew up close to me and loving me, even though I was not there for him. Jack wondered how such a loving mother, as Warren described me, could have married such a shallow minded man; someone who would cast out his own flesh and blood, even while there was no other blood relative for either of them in the US.

Jack looked down again at the note that he had penned earlier, "I have a destiny. _HUMANKIND HAS A DESTINY._ " It occurred to him that he hadn't written that he and humankind have _purpose_. There is a difference; purpose is a word which might define reason for everything to exist, except for the living human spirit. Those who have passed on may be described as having had a purpose, but destiny is a process involving effort, interpersonal relations, and chance. He thought to himself that he would not be the person who he is without the positive and the negative roles that others played in his life... even his father's role in his life. Therefore, he could love his father still, for the role that he played in shaping Jack's life to its present state. He would remember that, in spite of his shortcomings, his father did the best that he could and he played the only role that he could.

Warren's role in life was a matter of fact in recorded history. His _purpose_ could be described then _historically_. Jack realized that he still has an unwritten destiny, one which did not depend on the events of the past, but who's potential and thus, his destiny, was there to become the best it _could_ be; just as it is for humanity that at any given time the potential exists; not to change the past, but to maximize destiny. Suddenly Jack understood from the perspective that humankind includes compounding knowledge in successive generations, one can examine what is the maximized destiny for humankind.

That seemed much too deep a thought for his weary mind though, and he would 'sleep on it', or so he thought. Instead he thought of how time played itself out in slow-motion as he went into shock upon hearing the news that Pamela and Rachael were attacked. He wondered how time was perceived by Pamela, already in pain from burns, lacerations, and bruises as she was shot through her chest while trying to save her precious daughter, Rachael. He pictured the horror of the scene as it played frame-by-frame to her; witnessing the distressing sight of Rachael in her unconscious state with blood matting her hair and covering her face, laying there helpless in the company of her assailant, and then seeing her attackers eyes as he raised and pointed his gun at her, the fire flashing at the end of the barrel, feeling the burning impact of the bullet thrusting her backwards as if she were struck by a fearsome punch and then exiting her back along with part of her own body, and then feeling the walls of her vision close as his own did from shock, only she would never awaken.

Her last moments on earth were filled with horror and pain. She would never think of herself as acting heroically, as she did; rather she would forever think of herself as someone who failed to save Benny from burning alive and then from saving her own helpless daughter from immediate and life-threatening danger.

Why and how could it be that his soulful connection to this world was taken from him, that Pamela's right to live was taken from her? He recalled the thoughts about guns on the previous night; what about the right that people have to be free from violence by those who own tools designed to kill; guns and other weapons? Should the right for some people to own guns be greater than the right for others to pursue life? Why wouldn't the super-adequate availability of guns be a primary lesson in every crime involving a gun so that society could work towards ending violence committed by guns by reducing their access and numbers?

Why is it that the availability of guns to some people in our society is counter-intuitive to the framers of our Constitution which said we have certain unalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? What is it about guns that make them attractive to own? Jack posed his own arguments:

1. Guns are sexy. He thought of the way that sheriffs and gunslingers from the 'old west' were portrayed in period movies and television shows of the day; their arms were necessarily further from their bodies and their hips moved like a woman's as they walked or strutted in order to keep from bumping into their guns slung about their hips. From the perspective of a biologist, the behavior changes of the human animal might be subconsciously or even consciously making the gun wearer appear bigger and more dangerous to others, or perhaps is an outward physical manifestation of his inner feelings of increased confidence and insulation from the harmful influence of others.

2. Guns give the wearer a heightened sense of personal physical power. Jack remembered when his father, Warren had demonstrated the awesome power of his shotgun by shooting a 'rat's nest' through two cut pieces of scrap lumber nailed together and set upon a tree stump. 'Lethal power at a distance'; a super-human ability. What a 'power trip'!

3. Guns give the wearer a heightened sense of personal emotional power; especially the power of persuasion. People, who would be otherwise unwilling, suddenly become willing victims of crime against their person, or property, or of things that they love, or of the values that they hold dear under the influence of a convincing angry facial expression of someone threatening lethal force or pain by the use of a gun.

4. Humans with guns are like monkeys with fire. If one thinks of those characteristics which separate humans from other animals, one might site that our ancient ancestors have overcome their fear of fire and have learned used fire for their own benefit as a means to defend themselves from animals in the night and even to change their environment to enrich the fertility of grasslands to attract animals for hunting.

Since then we have used it for many other purposes, from cooking to lighting our homes to making pottery and steel. Jack imagined alien life forms more technologically advanced than our own, coming down from outer space to witness our progression in the technology of domination of other life forms from fire to weapons, that not only are used for hunting in order to survive, but for _sport_ , for intimidation and to persuade. How might they note the affect that personal weapons have had upon our potential destiny as a species?

5. What about carry and conceal? Some people are able to strut about and among the rest of us ready to unload their lethal cargo in an unforeseen instant. What is the motivation, if not to be prepared to shoot another person in an instant, given an anticipated if not hoped for defensible reason? How does that impact on how we might otherwise trust those in our company to be peaceful as ourselves when we cannot tell who has prepared themselves mentally and physically to kill or maim others?

One has no inherent right to kill another; there is only the last resort to kill in self defense. Even if there were such an inherent right, it would not be greater than the right of another to live.

Anyone who supports gun rights is supporting death to some people who get harmed or killed by guns. There is no way to tell in advance, if someone might be a purchaser with criminal intent, may have physical or mental illness which may or may not have presented itself yet, may have an emotional situation or drug use now or in the future which would impair his judgment and put someone at risk, who may shoot wildly into the darkness at suspicious noises or silhouettes, or who lends his gun, sells his gun, or leaves his gun upon his own death to another whom he has no legally binding reason to trust, as we all must subsequently, the wisdom of his decision.

The morality of his decision lingers though; everyone associated with guns has a responsibility for what guns do. No one can predict who may stray from shooting at targets (many in the shape of people) but among those who own or use guns, a _percentage_ will threaten or will shoot at people. Just like in war time when new deaths are justified so that prior deaths are not made in vain, so it goes with guns. The unwitting victims are _themselves_ the martyrs for the rights of gun owners to own and operate lethal weapons.

A more sickening example of irony is difficult to imagine. In fact, regardless of current law, all owners, manufacturers, distributors and sellers of guns are responsible in the environmental impact of those guns. If a tragedy happens, say in a public school, it should not be the public responsibility to place armed guards around the school for public protection against gun violence, but the burden should be placed on those responsible parties.

To do otherwise would amount to the public support of gun owners and the like by paying the social cost in blood and treasure for the rights of gun owners to kill and maim and to wreak havoc among the family and friends of their victims, and to countless others who are of no biological relation yet who empathize with the pain and loss of their brothers and sisters nonetheless.

Why is it, that in the wake of human carnage from random attacks on the public, such as an assassination of a beloved political leader or entertainer, that the incentive for people to purchase guns increases? Could it be that gun purchases are made as investment when there might be anticipated scarcity of guns through legislation? Consider the moral hypocrisy and contradicting public policy for collective safety given that guns are weapons designed for the sole purpose of killing. Consider the simple hypocrisy and morality of investing in a gun, when investment generally is based upon the anticipated present value of future benefits. There are _no_ future benefits which come from instruments that harm or destroy or kill.

While staunch defenders point to the Second Amendment to the Constitution for their right to have and own guns do have a _legal_ stance, it is no less wrong. Laws are rules, not a moral code. Any amendment to our Constitution antithetical to another part which recognizes our unalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness _requires_ a revisit.

Others may argue risk assessment that having a car and having an accident which caused a death compares to gun violence. It does not however, because in the overwhelming majority of car accidents, the intent is not to kill, where the intent of gun violence is perpetrated as murder or of persuasion by maiming or the threat of murder. Regarding the risk assessment itself; if injury or death by auto accident were more prevalent, at some point our society would see the intersection of cost vs. benefit; the loss of health and productivity to the benefits of national security (the motivation for the interstate highway system for the military) and to our safety (access to healthcare, police, and emergency responders) and to the health of our economic system. At some threshold cost, losses in life and treasure, the use of cars would be prohibited. The consensus would be that it is too dangerous and not worth the cost of driving.

Jack wondered; 'If guns had never been a part of our society, then how would a convincing argument be made for them to be allowed? Any argument should address public concerns that no one should be a victim of a crime using a gun, that public places could be guaranteed gun-free zones and that insurance policies protecting against accidents involving people and property including public protected wetlands and animals and plants would need to be paid for by the gun industry and gun owners. Even the lead bullets would need to be recovered from shooting ranges so as not to endanger the ecosystem or groundwater.

Public safety would be a primary promise. The question would need to be answered; 'How do you propose to keep each and every gun free from the hands of someone who, now or in the future, could through purchase, stealing, a gift, or inheritance from threatening to shoot or to intentionally shoot to hurt or to kill anyone?" Until that question could be answered, guns would not be permitted and all following questions could wait.

Those who argued that guns are needed for self-defense would have two arguments to answer: First, evidence shows that you are more likely to become a victim of gun violence if you own a gun for protection, and second, lethal weapons can easily be replaced by tools to incapacitate (TTI) by varying degree. Imagine a simple weapon with multiple positions which release increasingly severe degrees of incapacitation. Tranquilizer darts, rubber bullets, even little bb's might serve the purpose without killing or permanently injuring someone.

Even if TTI's replaced lethal weapons, no one should be able to own one if anyone objected to anyone else's application to own a TTI for any reason; a rule not currently in place even for those who own lethal weapons. The reason being, that even TTI's would be potentially used against anyone. Therefore, anyone should have the right to make the rest of us aware of someone who, for whatever reason, might use a TTI for any reason other than to defend him or herself. TTI's would be recycled after a period of use or a new application for review would be required.

Jack thought about how simple his arguments were, but how difficult they seem to those in our current system of law and then he wondered, 'So what happens when we take away our current system of law?"

Jack made these observations and wrote them down:

The identification of the destiny of humankind requires the adherence of certain unassailable principles and observations:

• _We are necessarily interdependent. If someone is able to repair current technology, they would be unlikely to also manufacture the needed parts for repair. Even in the unlikely event that one could do both, it is unlikely that one could additionally grow and prepare food, or treat their own health._

• _There is need for common self defense from all causes and a responsibility for all of us to minimize the necessity and the risks associated with individual defense. Rather than plan each person for him or herself in the event of a catastrophe, we should avoid a repeat of the Dark Ages and go directly to the Renaissance, when we recognize that we are interdependent and need a social, economic and political framework in order to survive._

• _We each need to recognize that, in the sum of all histories, we could have been born as anyone else that we see living in our time._

• _We need to recognize the responsibility that we each share for the health, safety and welfare of all of us._

• _We need for all of us to acknowledge equality of each of us and for each of us to accept equality among all of us._

• _Personal expression shall be in the unique and perfect ways that each of us are able and which does not do harm to others and does not violate accepted truth without a meaningful argument, challenge or additional facts, and may be in private or in the company of peaceful others._

• _There is no cause which justifies physical or emotional violence between people aside from defense._

• _Each generation needs to focus on the younger generations who have the greatest hope of achieving a state closest to the ideals of humankind through continuous improvement that each generation needs to embrace and which is focused upon achieving the highest and best use of humankind._

A quick review of what he had just written showed how the rights of some to own guns would violate a rudimentary collection of unassailable principles which support the destiny of humankind, and would consequently be illegal in a system which instituted these principles.

Jack folded his hands behind his head and laid down looking up at the ceiling. He kicked his shoes off and then he stared at a spot on the ceiling for a few moments before he closed his eyes. He was no less alone and empty without Pamela, but he was beginning to recognize that his perception of right and wrong as it related to these tragic events may be different than an interpretation by current law. An analysis of this difference was bound to spill over into other social issues and public institutions.

'How perplexing', he wondered, 'that so many things I take for granted will need to be examined for the first time in order for me to understand my destiny, now that Pamela is gone.' And then he wondered how he would possibly cope with such loss if it had not come to his mind to take time and to focus his attention away from the tragedy and to turn his attention to abstract ideas that would help him to learn from his loss, and perhaps would save others from having to go through the same or similar cruel and wasteful loss.

With that thought, came a knock on the door. It was Catralina, the Congregational Minister/President of the convent. She had been given the news of Jack's recent hardships, including the death of his father, Warren in San Diego. She was also briefed on why the FBI was taking care to protect Jack because of his role in WWII. Jack tried to reassure Catralina that he was dealing well, so far, with the events as they had unfolded and he felt certain that he would not need to impose on the good hospitality of Assisi Heights Convent for long. Catralina replied to Jack that she and others include him and his family in their prayers. Even though it would likely not be for an extended stay, Catralina thought it might be better for Jack to recover in the vacated rectory, which had many more amenities and was much more comfortable.

As they walked together, Jack felt a bit uncomfortable at first; being not a particularly religious person, but Catralina's demeanor put him at ease. She seemed to operate at the same steady and predictable frequency that he did, and their pace of walking together with Jack's limp and waddle with his cane mirrored that of their conversation, which was fluid and engaging.

Jack nearly lost his breath for a moment as the heavy wooden door to the rectory swung open. The two and one-half story ceiling was elliptical and he immediately thought of the Mormon Tabernacle in Salt Lake City that he once visited during an intermediate plane stop.

Catralina watched Jack's eyes light up and the big smile that fixed on his face. Jack motioned Catralina to come in and to stand at a particular place in one room while he moved to a place about thirty feet from her but still within view of her and then he signaled her to close her eyes as he whispered to her, "Thank you for thinking of me. Your graciousness will always be remembered and appreciated." Catralina whispered back, "The half ellipsoid shape of this room and double foci within an ellipse makes subtle sounds audible for people standing in the proper place. This reminds me how we can be close to one another and to god even while great distances may divide us... and you are welcome".

Jack was embarrassed for assuming that Catralina had never been introduced to analytic geometry. The lesson was made for Jack then, rather than for Catralina. As Catralina took her leave, Jack thanked her again for her kindness as well as the lesson he took from her, that he was not as alone as he might otherwise had thought and then he invited her to visit again. She responded by asking him to call her if he needed anything. He took from the tone in her voice that they were already _close_ , that there was no need for proximity.

That thought remained with him as he went to bed and he thought of Rachael, still comatose in her bed. He felt close to her just as one can whisper in a particular place of that special room and seem to be whispering in another's ear in a different particular place. "Rachael, are you listening? This is your dad. I love you." Of course, she heard him.

Jack lay down again and he fell asleep.

He awoke again at 10:30 PM and was distressed as he realized that visiting hours to see Rachael had come and gone for the day. He felt unnerved to think that she hadn't regained consciousness yet, and he was certain that he would have been notified if she had. "Oh Rachael", he thought, "Please stay strong. You can have no idea how valuable you are, not only to me, but to Morgan, your unborn baby, and to countless others."

Suddenly, Jack thought of Anna Jacobs in San Diego. She was Rachael's best friend since they were just little girls. It was only 8:30 PM her local time, so Jack called her to tell her the news of Pamela and Rachael. Anna burst into tears while on the telephone and said that she wanted to be with Rachael and Jack but that she needed some time to prepare and would come as soon as she was able. Jack said that even though Rachael is unconscious and might still be when she came, that it would be good for her to feel her presence. Anna, still crying, told Jack to be strong and she reminded him that he is not alone before she hung up the telephone.

Jack was restless and decided to bundle up and go for a walk to the hospital. It was too late to go inside once there, but it looked peaceful outside and he felt that he could use a little peace. His limping gait with his cane on the moist ground made a soft squeaking sound that reminded Jack of how it came that his leg was injured and that, although the past does not determine our potential destiny, it follows each of us as do our memories. The quiet sound was a part of his own image and impact on the night as he walked. It was about one and one-half miles each way, and he was unaccustomed to walking so far, but his mind was filled with the chill in the air and the bright lights of different stores and houses along the way. He wondered to himself if he would have felt too insecure to have braved a nighttime walk alone if Anna and Catralina hadn't both reminded him that he is not so alone.

He recalled what he had said about equality, " _We each need to recognize that, in the sum of all histories, we could have been born as anyone else that we see living in our time_ ".

As Jack thought about how special his daughter, Rachael was to himself, Pamela, Morgan, Anna Jacobs and so many others who have been touched by her personality, he thought for a moment that his intrinsic value to others paled by comparison, but only for a moment. As he sat down at a bench near a bus-stop in front of the hospital where Rachael lay, he remembered that it is not for us to judge the value of ourselves, that the fact is that we are all equal. The only measure that we can make for ourselves is to do the best that we can and to love everyone for doing the best that _they_ can under their unique circumstances.

Jack stood up and turned away from the slight cold breeze on his neck and then he looked up towards the light from one of the hospital rooms and he whispered, "I love you, Rachael!"

Jack's right leg ached and his right hand and shoulder were sore as well by the time he arrived back at Assisi Heights, but he knew that the fresh air and the time alone had been good for him and he knew that he could sleep.

Jack awoke Sunday morning stiff and sore from the long walk. He called for a cab after a bite to eat. When he reached the hospital to visit Rachael, he needed help getting out of the car and then he needed a wheel chair to make it to her room. Morgan was there with his parents in Rachael's room. When Morgan looked at Jack, he knew that events had taken an enormous toll on Jack, but Jack greeted his gaze with a bright smile, so happy that Rachael, although unconscious was in good company.

Morgan felt that the time was right for him to tell his parents as he had already said to Jack that he had intentions of marrying Rachael before she found out that she was pregnant and he had already purchased an engagement ring, which he pulled from his pocket to show and then he continued that he was going to ask Rachael while in the company of Pamela and Jack on that fateful Friday just two days ago when Rachael was planning to share her news.

The impact of Morgan's statement and his sincerity were palpable and Jack was overcome with the affection that Morgan had shared for Rachael and which seemed to combine with his own and now seemed to have permeated the room. Everyone in the room appreciated the bond that was so obvious between the young couple and they all wept together. Morgan was still in high school due to graduate in a few months but his commitment to Rachael in such difficult circumstances defined him as a seasoned adult with a mature sense of responsibility that was heartwarming. Rachael was right there; if only she could have been aware she would have wept with joy but she was not aware then.

Jack recalled how he and Pamela had met Morgan's father, Layton. Pamela's colleague at work, Leslie Carlson had shown some pictures of property that her realtor husband, Hugh Carlson and Layton, who is a general contractor had partnered together on. The subject development was farmland which included a peninsula that jutted into the Mississippi River... potentially prime residential real estate. Pamela and Leslie had become close friends and Leslie suggested the meeting at her home to answer questions for the Cayne's. Rachael was there with her parents together with Hugh, Leslie, Layton Cayne and his son, Morgan. That was the first day that Morgan and Rachael had met.

Jack remembered noticing how Rachael had blushed when her eyes briefly met Morgan's and she seemed to know that there was some chemistry brewing from across the large octagonal shaped table that held the photos, plats, and maps. Morgan said that when he looked at Rachael that she seemed perfectly beautiful in a way that he had never seen a girl before, that even the hairs on her bangs which were out of place had caught the light just so and seemed to be placed there for a reason... "Patina", Jack replied. "I recall the same feelings when I noticed Pamela. Morgan, I am glad that Rachael fell in love with you."

#  Too Big to Fail

A nurse came into the room announcing that there was a call for Jack from his attorney, Megan. Morgan looked concerned and Jack left him with a reassuring smile not to worry. Jack noticed the change in his own behavior which also was seen by others for the first time; he was becoming engaged with others instead of protecting himself from engagement by living vicariously through Pamela and Rachael.

Megan gave Jack the news that there was a confession by several people surrounding the attacks upon Rachael and Pamela, including the killer. Jack was stunned with joy at the news, but was also perplexed; what might have happened to prompt such a swift break in the case?

Jack went back into Rachael's room and said that he had news, but that he did not want anyone to respond until he made a following comment; he was still formulating his thoughts. Jack repeated the news that he had heard and after a silent pause, proceeded to say that he is grateful that it appears that he and Morgan may be out of danger, but that justice is important to him and that he will reserve his own judgments until he learns about the testimony of those who have come forward; he did not want to hear clamor for revenge or any disparaging remarks of anyone until he and others can learn and assess the facts and the truth, as much as possible in order to achieve closure and for the ability for everyone to move on.

Morgan went to Jack and hugged him in his wheelchair. I am prepared to be patient with you, but I am struggling even now, to withhold judgment. Morgan's mother, Donna asked Jack how he could be so reserved and stoic following the violence against his own wife and daughter. Jack answered without thinking; " _understanding grows from knowledge, compassion grows from understanding, love grows from compassion, peace grows from love, the root of us all, and goodwill towards others grows from peace."_ He paused, and then he added; "We _are not greater than or less than equal to anyone else_. We are all shaped by the people and the events in our lives. We can only hope to learn and to grow as a result." He surprised himself by the wisdom of his own words, and he would remember to write them down so that everyone who can comprehend the words should be subsequently obliged to teach to others.

Jack said that he would meet with Megan on the following day, Monday to learn more details, but that she was hopeful that Morgan would be safe to return to school soon. When Morgan heard the words, he looked depressed. He said that he has practically graduated already, that events have thrust him into the adult world and that he was ready to meet the challenge. It would seem childish for him to return to an environment that only three days ago seemed appropriate and normal. Morgan's father, Layton spoke up, saying that in spite of the events that it would be paramount for Morgan to finish high school.

Jack agreed with Layton, but he also understood Morgan's perspective. Jack mentioned that he suggested to Megan that he would pay for a tutor for Morgan to keep up with his studies while Rachael recovered and while everyone adapted to the changes made to their lives. Morgan was overcome by Jack's offer and Donna was quick to recover for him with a 'thank you'. Morgan realized in that instant that Jack was empathetic to his circumstances and he was grateful that Jack could understand him as both the adult, and the dependant that he still was.

Jack informed everyone that he had contacted Rachael's best friend, Anna Jacobs in San Diego, and that she may be coming soon to visit. Morgan welcomed the news and hoped that more company would be stimulating for Rachael. Jack's silent smile showed everyone who was there that Morgan's concern, his love, and compassion for Rachael endeared him to Jack.

Layton told Jack not to worry about plans to begin construction on the cabin, that any agreements to proceed with construction would be terminated under the circumstances. Only then had Jack even thought of the ground-breaking that was due to start when soils thawed. Donna reprimanded her husband that 'now' is not the proper time to bring up work. Jack responded that he understood that Layton needed to be free to make other plans, but that he would not be interested in proceeding with plans to build an empty cabin, now that Pamela was gone. Morgan spoke up, saying that he was glad for Jack's decision. Morgan would find it too difficult to be working with his dad fifty miles away while Rachael needed him here.

Megan surprised everyone by her arrival. She said that she had hoped everyone would be there and that she had simply wanted to let everyone know that she was thinking of them. After a short while, Megan offered to take Jack back to Assisi Heights for some lunch. Donna offered to have everyone over for lunch at her house, but Megan politely declined, saying that she needed to talk with Jack.

Jack got up from his wheel chair and walked the long way from Rachael's room to the hospital exit where Megan would pick him up. Once on their way, Megan said that she was concerned about Jack's response to the good news over the telephone that people were coming forward regarding their case. Leven Comstoby was arrested in Chicago when he arrived there by passenger jet and he surrendered voluntarily to authorities. He was flown back to Rochester to face charges as a principle in the crimes against Pamela, Benny, and Rachael. He suggested the evacuation of John Marshall High School for fear that there could be an attempt to send another message because of the failure of the warning intended for Rachael.

Jack replied that he was happy for the news, but that he knew that there would be more information to digest, some of which might bring additional pain at the very time when everyone was extremely sensitive. Jack added, "I am not sure if I am ready for the truth, which requires a compassionate view for the actions of those directly related to the crimes." Megan replied that Jack is not expected to feel compassion for criminals, that the legal system will apply the law and mete out justice. Jack countered with, "It is not enough to depend on the legal system to mete out justice. Those of us who have been victimized by crime need to _feel_ justice. The legal system defends those who are oppressed _so that they may be equa_ l and stands up for those who are underrepresented for the same reason, not because 'men are created equal', but _because we are all equal to one another._

I need to learn 'how' and 'why' these events have happened, and I need to _feel_ justice in order to move on with my own life. The consequences to the perpetrators of the crime are less important to me, insofar as they will be kept from hurting others, than my full understanding of the motivations and actions of those who participated."

Megan countered by saying that the law doesn't work that way, that crime and punishment are the focus of law and that when someone breaks the law that they need to be brought to justice. Jack replied that he understands how the law is designed, but that it fails in some fundamental ways; it does not recognize the environmental stimuli or reasoning of the criminal, nor does it recognize that at birth, anyone of us may have been born in their shoes and may have been influenced in the same way. Understanding the truth requires compassion for all of the victims and the perpetrators in a crime, not just the facts in a case. In addition, the environmental impact of a crime needs to be studied in order to assess the damages made to everyone involved.

Megan argued that such a system would be overly cumbersome and that it would be too costly for the legal system to function. Jack went silent for a moment. He would lose an argument with Megan about the efficacy of a legal system with a different perspective and motivations, but it was simple to imagine greater, given his personal experience. In fact, had it ever crossed his mind to try, Jack would find it difficult to imagine any practical or hypothetical problems that could evade solutions. There was a relentlessly punishing reason why his mind was predisposed to finding imaginative solutions to problems; finding solutions is an admirable ability by itself, but it also kept him from looking inwardly. He would learn why soon enough.

When Jack and Megan arrived at Assisi Heights and they walked into the rectory, Megan told Jack that it would be likely that she would no longer be useful to Jack or to Morgan in her capacity as an attorney, and that the recent statements made to police may make the FBI feel the need to reassess their reasons for being here. She said that the apartment was rented through the end of the month and that she would make plans to move Jack's things from there back to his house by then. Jack said that she should not be in a hurry, since the apartment was so close to St Mary's hospital, where Rachael was still languishing comatose. Jack told her that if she were comfortable to represent him after she is needed for Morgan, that he would retain her to make changes to his will to include Morgan and perhaps others for his will.

Megan said that she would take care of the arrangements for Pamela's funeral on Wednesday and that they could make some decisions together soon after. Jack told Megan that he is interested in working through her to make an offer to advocate for leniency if the perpetrator or perpetrators would be willing to answer Jack's questions honestly and 'off the record' with his or her attorney present.

Megan told Jack that it was premature for such a meeting, but Jack insisted that an offer must be made Monday or Tuesday before Pamela's funeral. Megan was surprised by Jack's statement but Jack countered that his world has been completely unraveled and that it is more difficult than anyone can imagine for him to be alone at night with so many unsettling thoughts and questions in his head.

Megan noticed his eyes filling with tears and she picked up her purse and assured him that she would do whatever she could to help him find closure and to feel justice, but that Morgan should be made aware of his plans too. Jack agreed and said that he would tell Morgan when he returned to the hospital.

Jack offered to make some sandwiches and soup and Megan accepted, but said that she would need to take Jack back to the hospital soon so that she could be with her family for the rest of the weekend. Jack didn't say anything, but he realized in the moment that Megan was as much a friend to him as anyone could be for taking her time to be with him and his family when she felt needed. After they finished their lunch and Megan took Jack back to the hospital, Jack smiled as she took her leave. Jack just stood there for a moment after her car pulled away to remember her thoughtfulness.

Jack was alone with Rachael for a short while before Morgan came back from having lunch in the cafeteria with his parents. They had left to be with Morgan's other siblings for the rest of the day. Morgan thanked Jack again for offering to pay for his tutoring and told Jack that he really did not wish to set foot inside of his school again until Rachael was well. Jack smiled and told Morgan that he was sure that he would feel the same under the same circumstances.

Jack added, "Your father is absolutely right when he told you that it is 'paramount' for you to finish high school, but high school is not the only place that we learn. I know that you have learned much more in a very short time than you have from any equal period in your school. My job is to teach, and I understand the value of knowledge, but few would appreciate my view that the noblest human endeavor is to make every person able to reach his or her potential so that they can contribute in a positive way which maximizes their human experience, for each of us could be born as any other among us. Everyone who is able has a moral societal obligation to teach others whenever we can. Our greatest hope to positively affect future human history is to help our children to learn from our mistakes and our achievements. That is why it is so difficult for me to imagine how someone could do such things to another person as were done to Benny, Pamela, and to Rachael... and to me and to you. I just cannot imagine..."

Jack's face grimaced in pain and then he collected his breath again as Morgan was drinking in his words. Jack continued; "Effort should be made for each of us to reach that same epiphany, in fact each of us must share respect for all life. 'Killing' for sport or pleasure or for other reasons than to manage hazardous environmental anomalies of or by any species should be eliminated. Every organic being should strive to find ways to eliminate the need for killing another species other than for domestication and benign slaughter for food supply, animal or plant. Killing should be _eliminated_ when there is no longer a need to do so in order to survive. Each and every organism needs to respect all life form that is not disease, for disease is only there to cause suffering and unnecessary death and with malice a fore thought, if there be thought at all."

Morgan looked dumbfounded at Jack and he asked him if he was feeling alright. Jack responded that 'no', he was not alright, that he has had sleepless nights with endless questions and worries which would not leave him, and then he told Morgan that he needs to find answers soon and that he plans to make an offer to potential defendants to advocate for their leniency in return for 'off the record' answers to Jack's personal questions, but that he would only do so with Morgan's approval. Morgan was made aware that Jack would need to keep any answers confidential from him and from all others, but he could see that the weight of events was showing through Jack's recently acquired decisive façade. Morgan said that he would be 'alright' with that, knowing it would make Jack recover sooner. Jack apologized for ranting as he had and he started to cry silently. Morgan said that he is proud of Jack and that he can see that Rachael's wonderful heart comes from both of her parents.

Morgan reminded Jack that he was a different person before he met Rachael and that he had known Benny and had mutual friends with him, but that he remembered the day very well that Jack had mentioned earlier, the day that Rachael had caught Morgan's eye. He would never be the same, nor would he be the same since Jack had opened up to him in the wake of tragedy. They both were comforted by his words, knowing that there was family between them that had not been there before.

A nurse came in to attend to Rachael so Morgan and Jack stepped outside. Jack said that he would stay at his apartment, which was only a few blocks away and that Morgan should go home to be with his family. Morgan was tired too, and he agreed. The nurse left the room and they both went back inside. Morgan leaned over Rachael and kissed her gently on her lips and told her that he loves her and her family. Jack smiled and he gave Morgan a hug before he left.

Jack was alone with Rachael. He thought again that she was carrying his potential grandchild. The realization was both such a moment of life-altering joy and simultaneously, earth-shattering as he remembered that his joy was news Pamela might never hear. Jack felt alone, as he had always felt throughout his life, in the middle, if there is one, between confusion, pain and responsibility. There was never very much room in Jack's constitution to allow joy and happiness to invade a sense of mediocrity that was the centerpiece of his non-descript self-image.

Jack closed his eyes and put his head into his hands as he listened to the rhythm of Rachael's breathing. He briefly wondered if she could notice that he was here at all, but he knew that Rachael would notice if Pamela and he were there together, or if Pamela were there alone. Jack, all by himself, was hardly noticeable to her. He wished that he could have played a more-prominent role in the early years of her life while she and Pamela would visit family and friends without his company; he was too _different_ from them by age and by heritage to be accepted by their other family members.

It occurred to him that he was such a small figure in the world's largest privately owned hospital. For a moment he thought of the other institutions that he had been in; colleges, universities and the American, British and German militaries, none of which seemed to outgrow the person within him, but _this_ institution, where the life of his daughter and potential grandchild hung in the balance, this was a much bigger institution, and the idea humbled him.

Here he was, sitting in silence and alone among thousands of other patients, visitors, and healthcare professionals... a lone soul within a man-made institution, and yet it must be living and breathing too. Jack's life had come apart at the seams and there was only Rachael who would remain to make him feel alive and so now Jack depended upon the institution which kept her alive, and consequently kept him alive too.

Jack thought of Morgan and his father, Layton. They would both need to find a new source of income, now that he had pulled plans to build a cabin for Pamela and Rachael. It was an easy decision for him to make, to cancel the plans to build, and his decision to do so was readily understood and accepted by everyone, given the circumstances. No one expected that Jack was or could be 'too big to fail' and the unintended consequences in the wake of tragedy meant that the tragedy had roots that would extend well beyond those in the immediate circle of victims.

'Too big to fail'; that phrase repeated itself in Jacks mind. He hoped that the health institution that he was sitting in would not fail, yet he knew it was not publically funded and that foreseeable and unforeseen circumstances existed that would cause this institution to fail and the lives who depended on it then and into the future would be the even greater casualties. Jack looked at his helpless daughter and imagined the horrifying fate that due to natural, economic, or other man-made circumstances that she and the potential new life that she carried within her might be required to leave and be without the care that she needed. He knew how it would make him feel if he had to go through those circumstances himself and he also knew that the experience would be no less tragic for the other patients and their friends and loved ones... and for everyone in the community of the world who witnessed it.

'Too big to fail'; Jack remembered Pamela, who taught economics, would sometimes talk about the great depression, that period from 1929 and extending through the 1930's when there was rampant unemployment and an institution that was too big to fail, the world economy, _failed_.

Jack thought about JP Morgan, Cornelius Vanderbilt, John D. Rockefeller, and Andrew Carnegie, the giants of the American industrial revolution whose time had intersected with the needs of a hungry nation before the great depression to produce an economic giant to rival all others. How many people were dependants upon their success, just as in the smaller scale, Morgan and his family was somewhat dependent upon himself?

Jack felt an obligation to help Morgan and his family that those other leaders of giant industry had not. Indeed, they could be manipulative, cunning, and even violently suppressive to workers in order to protect the masses of wealth that they bestowed upon themselves and would continue to do so without foreseeable end. Some of them even subverted the politics of the day in order to make our democracy subordinate to themselves; the presidents of capitalism.

So much energy and effort was spent to support their own greed and intemperance at the expense of others who were left in their wake to share too little of the economy to properly feed and clothe their own families. If the motivational forces in an economic system do not work in tandem or are not in concert with the values of the society in general or to the constitution of that society then there will be an inevitable inequality of the distribution of GDP and/or of personal income which will result in economic, social, political, health, and every metric polarity between the 'haves' and the 'have-nots'.

Jack wondered, 'What is it about people who hold such reverence for what was that they cannot imagine greater when confronted with system or institutional failure?' Jack thought for a minute about the second amendment to the US constitution. People with guns would cling to those words as though they were written by some divine creator and therefore unassailable. The truth was that those words were intended to keep a regulated militia in order to keep the peace between the people and the government who was in place to serve the people.

What made it impossible for people to realize that the government was becoming increasingly subservient to the most successful (greedy) players in capitalism and decreasingly beholding to _the people_? Who would ever question the success of our democratic system, even though the election of President William McKinley in 1896 was bought and paid for by big moneyed interests? Who doubted that those same people who could afford to consider them self 'too big to fail' would influence and thus corrupt our democracy since then?

Even when the system _did_ fail in the great depression, viable alternative solutions were not bandied about that offered an alternative to the broken system, rather, the government was changed to become more intrusive than our founding fathers had imagined and they 'primed the pump' of our broken economy by hiring the public to do public projects, by introducing (what always are temporarily) regulations for banking and finance in order to return confidence in investors, and by relief in the form of price supports and minimum wages (relief, recovery, and reform).

The government bandages were meant to be temporary, that somehow the flaws in the economic system were not fundamental, but the fact that they were needed in the first place was testimony that in fact, there are fundamental flaws within capitalism which keep it from being self sustaining.

Jack remembered in his elementary economics class that one of the fundamental failures of capitalism was that 'it pays to pollute'; meaning that, even with fines, as long as the costs of production are less than profits, that entrepreneurs will pollute the environment for us all. Jack had little interest in economics at the time, however many more flaws were apparent to Jack then and since, some of the obvious ones were exposed by the needed government intervention to restart capitalism following the great depression. Others became clear as measures to reform were pushed away over time; short term 'risk' was worth long term failure.

Which of our economic institutions today might be considered 'too big to fail' if some type of calamity befell us? How might our political system respond if insurance companies, financial investment companies, pharmaceuticals, and banks were considered too big or too important to fail? Would US taxpayers, _the people_ always foot the bill and bail out those who milked the economy dry? Would they as likely continue to see the automotive industry as 'too big to fail 'or another industry which had become so intricately woven into the fabric of what it means to be American, even if it would not cause economic calamity if it were gone?

It certainly would be traumatic for us. In fact, the 'too big to fail' idea is a fundamental failure of our economic system which dooms us to the repetition of complete failure, for as long as free markets are driven by the short-sighted frenzy of greed, there will never be the opportunity for the people to raise their awareness to needs of future generations.

Indeed, self interest will always lead to taking chances; some necessary for investment and some which compromises the safety, security of others who then become victims; some noticed and some forgotten. Jack tried to remember the forgotten families around Love Canal near Niagara Falls in New York; all of them relocated and some of them with children who were born with birth defects and most or all of them exposed to carcinogenic industrial waste percolating to the surface around their homes.

As with most crimes, little attention is paid to victims and it is the notorious criminals who are remembered... but who remembered the criminals if they are a company and who expects morality to guide decisions of a 'one-trick pony' like a company which exists only for the sake of profit and to meet the financial expectations of investors? Jack tried for a few moments to remember some victims who had not been forgotten. Who was the man who worked for Andrew Carnegie in his steel plant who died from horrible burns in an unsafe work environment and which finally led to worker demands for safer working conditions? He _should_ be remembered. How many people remember that those demands were answered by gunfire hired by the company? Who remembers Henry Clay Frick?

Jack wondered for a moment about the inability for the public, the masses to rule themselves and to discuss and to debate needed solutions to the great depression instead of leaving it to a few people, Franklin D. Roosevelt and his administration to try something and to try something _else_ if it didn't work. Why was it that a failed economic system, one that depended upon the not-so respected human trait, _greed_ was the centerpiece could not be replaced by one which was endowed by a more virtuous human aspiration?

Unfortunately, the answer came to him immediately, which meant that it was a simple answer and consequently one that would be difficult to overcome; greed itself would need to be overcome politically and economically in order to shift the responsibility and the benefits of self-governing and more equitable distribution of the economic burdens and rewards to _the people_. What if altruism was a motivational driver for an economic engine; might it be physically possible, financially feasible, legally permissible, and socially acceptable?

However there was the obvious obstruction to getting there from here; accumulated wealth through selfishness is political power where democracy has been contaminated by the same instrument. How can one take greed out of the equation that favors the status quo in our present economy to morph peacefully into a different economic engine that favors altruism or another more virtuous human trait?

Any idea which involves redistribution of wealth, aside from the emergency action that it took in order to shock our flat-lined economy during the great depression would seem as unlikely to happen as for taking guns away from those who would warn that we cannot take their guns unless from their cold dead hearts. Indeed, who would be first to give up his guns to spite an unspeakable murder or even a worse massacre in order to assuage the further slaughter of the rest of us?

Jack looked up at the ceiling tiles, frustrated that his thoughts had returned to _guns_. He was holding onto Rachael's hand as he imagined the anger contorted face of the man who had struck her head... probably with his gun. How could anyone do this to her and to everyone who cares for and about _Rachael_? How could _anyone_ do this? How could anyone _do_ this?

Rachael's body stirred for the briefest of moments as those thoughts had crossed his mind and he thought that perhaps Rachael was listening to him telepathically. He inferred from her body language that she was thinking, consciously or not what I had once heard her say, "He's just beyond my reach but I can see him and I can hear his thoughts..." There was no reason for Jack to second-guess his instinct and he said in silence to her, "Rachael, none of us lives forever and yet we all do. Whatever is to happen, you and your mother will forever remain within me. I will always be here for you."

Jack put his head back and closed his eyes again, happy in the thought that Rachael knew that _she_ was not alone.

In order to soothe her, he began recalling their mutual times with Pamela; she made matching outfits for her and Rachael when she was very young and it seemed to Jack that they were both so happy when they wore them. The image of the two of them presenting themselves to Jack connected the two of them together, but also connected the three of them as well. Jack recalled the joy on their faces and in their glistening eyes as they each felt so pretty in the reflection of his own eyes. The recollection made his eyes misty and he had to blink in spite of his smile.

He poured himself a small cup of ice water and then he gently rubbed a small ice chip along Rachael's lips to comfort her.

Jack recalled his earlier reference to destiny; both personal and in the context of humankind. If Rachael were to die without ever awakening, then what would her destiny have been and how would her 'purpose' be remembered historically? Instantly, he remembered his dream from two days ago when his fighter crashed in flames and yet somehow he survived several times while he had expected to die. Perhaps death itself was simply a different perspective of reality. Regardless, Rachael's life has made an indelible impression upon the landscape of the living. No one could ever have the same view of the world having once been touched by her.

Jack thought of his father, Warren. He hoped that, if should life go on for him after death in this world, that he would learn the darkness of his bigoted ways and see the light of equality for everyone.

Equality; what does that mean in the context of cosmic justice?

Jack presumed, that if the creator wanted people to understand cosmic justice then there would be no ambiguity in messages that we could understand through living. How could Pamela have been killed, how could someone be motivated to kill her and severely injure Rachael? How could our own creator make any messages like those so ambiguous and difficult to comprehend that people could not use their gift of reason to understand? "Well", thought Jack, there also is also the possibility that communication is made through ambiguity itself as well as through humor and drama. There is diversity in communications, perhaps to clarify the message that the destiny of every life is unpredictable yet purpose is a fact to be found historically... on and on.

This was the dawning of the age of communications. There was the expectation of the computer industry to change people's lives and to become increasingly affordable to individual citizens. The use of the Internet, a new communications venue was beginning to blossom. Jack had his own pocket-sized computer that he was able to program himself and he had programmed those behemoth computers used on college campuses using stacked type and punch cards in early computer science classes in the late 1970's. Jack may eventually teach computer science, since it was an extension of logic and mathematics, even while being inspired by the Jacquard loom, which also used punched cards to instruct the machine to make patterned cloth.

Rather than teach electronic logics and computer programming, Jack thought it might be more personally interesting to continue teaching mathematics and physics and to introduce a class that he would name, 'technological ethics', for the potential existed for social change, within the next few years or decades that might be comparable to, or even eclipse the dawning of the industrial age.

As with any new technology, humans would use it and then define themselves by the ways in which they apply it to their lives. People are impulsive; in some ways attracted to new ideas like moths to a flame. Would computers and communications be used to showcase fundamental flaws in human design and result in a plague of violent video games and pornography bringing society to her knees, or would people come together to seek new ways to govern themselves. The goal of such a class would be to help our society to make the highest and best uses of technology and to minimize the unintended consequences, which could be terrifying. Perhaps we would find brilliant solutions to urgent or age-old problems and design a way to a goal-oriented future.

Imagine the means to end the timeless infatuation and intrigue by some of us for guns, weapons of all kinds and explosions... Boom! Jack smiled at himself. He knew that the first reaction to ending the need to war among ourselves would be from the hawks that would disparage his ideas saying that he was 'trying to make a utopia and that war was an unavoidable part of being human; after all, just look at our history. When haven't we always been at war somewhere in the world?'

Jack recognized the flaw within men to be 'rugged individualists', to think that they can mold their environment through brute force. Like it or not, the fact is that people are interdependent upon one another. While individual challenges and achievement are important, our interdependent responsibilities require us to act and to react to changes in our environment from all causes in _unison_. The key to our success is to acknowledge that all people are equal. If only everyone could recognize our equality... it would change all of us for the better. For example, one cannot discriminate against another if everyone is equal. Also, one cannot be an aggressor in a war, for to kill anyone who is equal to you is tantamount to suicide. Even bullying becomes inconceivable.

Jack shrugged his shoulders at the anticipated criticism that he was trying to make a utopia. 'Odd', he thought, that any attempt to improve our world should be argued in that way. What is wrong with continuous improvement? It is unlikely that life will unfold without any challenges even if one were to strive for a utopian environment. 'Interesting isn't it', that so many people are content to live in a world where cheap phrases such as, "All is fair in love and war" and "Who ever said that life is fair" which keep them from trying to make long-range plans to make this world better and yet they hope to die and go to a _heaven_ ; a 'perfect' place and where everything in heaven is 'perfect'. How would someone in heaven answer the question: 'So how was your hamburger?'

Jack realized that he needed a distraction, so he turned the television on for a moment, but he turned it off before the picture had even appeared. He didn't really need a distraction but he did need relief. He wondered how he could possibly return to his career as a teacher without answers to burning questions; especially, would Rachael and her unborn baby recover? Jack was still sitting in his chair as he lowered the bar on Rachael's bed and he sobbed face down next to her. He was afraid that Rachael may have heard his ranting thoughts and he silently asked for her forgiveness and he promised that he would be strong for as long as it took for her to recover completely.

A woman came in to the room and filled a container with fresh water. She saw the misery and pain on Jack's face as she offered some water to him. He thanked her for the gesture but declined. She left and a nurse returned soon after to check vital signs and monitors that were attached to Rachael. She told Jack that Rachael's doctor will talk with him tomorrow after his visit with Rachael in the morning and that Jack looked like he could use some rest. She promised that she and others would spend time with Rachael while family was away to keep her company. Jack nodded and he stood up but had to sit back down again for a moment; his head was throbbing and he felt light-headed. He put his hand out to the nurse and said that he is alright and that he would take some aspirin at home. He stood up and smiled at her and then he reached for his cane and he left.

As he walked down the hall, the rubber tip met the stone floor with a repeating squeak that sounded to Jack like, 'Dad, dad, dad...' which kept Rachael on his mind. As he left the hospital and began walking the few blocks to his apartment, the weather was grey and chilly. He felt very cold by the time he arrived. He kept the key hidden under the doormat so that Morgan could come and stay there while Jack stayed at Assisi Heights.

There was little inside the two room apartment for comfort; a sleeper sofa, two small chairs, a small kitchenette and a den. The den was packed with personal items boxed up from Jack and Pamela's house, mostly family photos, reels and reels of eight-millimeter video tape, a painted portrait of Rachael in a white sailor dress when she was very young (a present to Jack from Pamela), Pamela's boxed wedding dress, and a small safe which contained important documents.

Jack looked again at the portrait of Rachael; she was only two-years-old at the time and Jack was thirty-nine. As he thought about how consumed he was in his adult 'intellectual' world it was no surprise why Rachael was more comfortable with her mother, who was so pretty at the vibrant age of twenty-five. As Rachael grew, she and Pamela became closer for reasons other than just due to age; Rachael was never interested in the things that interested Jack and she always looked at him as someone who cared, but who was less engaged with their family and with life generally, partly because he was a nerd and especially because Pamela was not a nerd. Rachael was protected by the social stigma of an interracial family and that Jack was sacrificing time with them in order to protect them from uncaring and even hateful eyes.

Jack looked over at the Styrofoam cooler that was chocked full of family photos. They had always been heaped in there and it was fun sometimes for the family to pull them out together and to reminisce. Suddenly, Jack realized how important it would be for Morgan to have all of the photos of Rachael in a photo album and what a nice gesture that it would be for him to receive that from Jack. Jack pulled out the first picture that included Rachael and he put the number 'one' on it and then he typed the number 'one' in the program that he just wrote for the purpose of sorting all of the pictures along with the code which would be applied to each of the photos to distinguish the year, the subjects in the photo and the birthday, holiday, and place, etc.

Once all of the photos were identified and stacked in the order found, the computer would organize the photos according to the code and associate the picture number and then print out the legend of code applicable for each photo. That way, Jack could put all of the photos in perfect order within photo albums for Morgan. After writing the program on his little TRS 80 pocket computer with printer interface, he tested it to make sure that there were no 'bugs' and then he plucked a second photo from the cooler; it was a picture of Pamela and Rachael wearing matching sailor outfits when Rachael was two. It was the same outfit that she wore in the painted portrait of Rachael. Jack tucked that picture into his shirt pocket, took off his glasses, and then he lay down across the sofa and closed his eyes for a moment, and then he opened his eyes and pulled the photo of Rachael and Pamela from his pocket to look at it for a few moments.

When he tucked the photo back into his pocket and closed his eyes again, he thought back to his days on the sea, but started to daydream about being shipwrecked alone on an uncharted small island in the South Pacific. All that he had was the picture in his pocket and some supplies and tools in the wrecked boat on the reef about fifty-yards from shore at low tide. Jack was able to salvage a hatchet, saw, a plastic cooler, some fishing line, a pair of binoculars, and paddles, along with some other things and he gathered them to the tree-line atop the stony beach.

There was no time for an elaborate shelter with the sun approaching the horizon on the opposite side of the island, so Jack gathered sticks and dead branches to make a coffin-sized bed, lined with clean palm leaves and covered with branches.

Over a period of days, he eventually made paths into and around the island taking clam-shaped four hour expeditions each day and gathering food and leaving cashes of dead wood for fuel along the way. On second day, he found tall trees that would give him a place to be relatively safe during a typhoon or from any dangerous animals or people who might be there. Over a period of months, Jack had a high hut supported by a grouping of very tall trees which had been secured to one another with vines to keep from blowing independently, and two other stepped floors held by adjacent trees with make-shift ladders between them.

He had not sighted any sign of large carnivores or of people, so he was free to keep a fire burning for cooking and for passing ships to see. He had protected a large natural reservoir with larger sized stones that would flood at high tide and he put a barrier to dam the water until there was open beach between the sea and the reservoir to trap and fish or shellfish that might happen by for a visit; that would be the source of his protein. Coconut milk and captured rain water kept him from dehydration. Every day, Jack would thank the island for his sustenance that he might live long enough to return home and he would think of ways to be as great a benefit to the island as she was for him. He needed to feel that his presence and his actions kept the ecosystem in equilibrium.

When Jack wasn't just surviving, he was planning his way back to Pamela and Rachael. He designed and built a wooden water craft that was steered by two paddle blades forward of the front of the craft and powered by jet propulsion. During calm seas, the craft was partly submerged according to removable slats near the bow. The inflow of water from the front was pumped by Jack from the aft end using a pole with a semicircular blade that ran along a sealed hollowed log. A second guide pole attached to the blade ran out of a hole in the back of the ship to keep the opening sealed while the blade was pushed through its cycle. During heavy seas, there were supports that extended to the front and to the sides of the craft so that Jack could help to balance the ship and where he also could fish for food and sleep in a hammock.

The day finally came to leave the island. He brought with him all of the coconuts and fresh water he could and a primitive astrolabe for detecting where his latitude was relative to the island that he had called, 'home'. Jack arbitrarily decided to sail east-northeast and hoped to stay in a temperate climate while looking for land.

After days of sailing and safely weathering a mild storm, Jack spotted a primitive raft bobbing in the distance. He was able to maneuver to it and recognized that Morgan was alone on board. He was emaciated, dehydrated, burnt from the sun and near death. Jack spoke to him but he could not understand. Jack lashed the two vessels and then he pulled Morgan to his craft, made him comfortable, then he went back to salvage what he could from Morgan's vessel and set it adrift.

Morgan began to stir as Jack held his head and poured a small amount of water across his lips but after a few small sips Morgan fell back to sleep. Jack rested with him for a while, listening to his breathing and stayed quiet to let him rest peacefully. Within a few hours of dusk, Jack raised his head to again give him water. Morgan opened his eyes and recognized Jack, but Morgan was very sick with something in addition to being overly exposed to the elements. Jack looked around at the diminishing food and water supplies and divided them in half to estimate how much time they would have to find land or to perish together. Jack decided to take two-thirds of a daily ration for himself and average a full ration or more to help with Morgan's recovery until Morgan could help with duties on-board. Three days followed that Morgan was alert, but too weak to work. Jack was doing more with fewer calories and he was feeling his strength wane.

Jack thought for a moment how others who had come across a liability, such as a dying man during survival situations might just let that person suffer or would put him out of his misery. Jack could have; he brought poison along from a snake for him to end his own suffering if his luck had run out. What if the roles were reversed and it was Jack who was on that rickety raft and dying; would Jack want someone young and healthy to risk their life for someone with an unknown disease and who was on the brink of death? Would Jack have changed the risk to himself or changed the rationing plans if instead of Morgan, it was an older person who was desperate? What if it was a younger person, but evidence aboard their raft indicated that they had been violent?

Jack decided that in all cases, it is incumbent upon the healthy to care for those who cannot care for themselves in spite of and because of the circumstances. Survival plans for individuals should be made similar for public policy in the case of war or catastrophe that affects the many as well. _Survival and recovery plans should be made which will prepare us to act in unison in order to restrict our harmful impact on the environment or in the event of catastrophe such as climate change, rebellion or incursion and others which could lead to chaos._

There are many examples of urgent situations that will demand a different paradigm than any here-to-for in order for us to be successful... in order to survive: such as unbridled population growth in the face of diminishing resources and global climate change, social, political, and economic dependence on a fragile infrastructure of hardware and software that shockingly few of us would be able to repair, the diffusion of technology for mass destruction throughout the world, and countless more that we are aware of and others that we may not imagine.

Jack imagined that his situation was interchanged with that of Morgan's and that he might wish Morgan to leave him adrift rather than to let Jack possibly contribute to the death of them both, but the only way that Jack could relieve Morgan of his moral responsibility would be to kill himself. Jack wondered out loud if his rationale was realistic and then he thought to himself that he could not live with himself if someone in need were abandoned in order to increase his chances of survival. In the end, we are; all of us equal and we, all of us must demonstrate that fact to our children by example of our actions and of our lives.

Similarly, we need to speak out and show by example through our presence, our actions and our willingness to stand against the forces of oppression of any one of us or by any group of us because we must accept our responsibility to each other that we ARE one people and that none of us will tolerate discrimination, abuse, or intolerance to anyone or any group of us.

To be silent is to demonstrate to the oppressors that what they do and how they think of others as beneath them or less than equal to themselves is legitimate. Simultaneously, we speak loud and clearly through our silence to the victims of oppression and intolerance that we think they should suffer and that we also believe them to be less than equal to _us_.

In the end, Jack and Morgan would survive, or one or both of them would die trying. Neither would survive alone without doing all that one could to help the other to make it safely home. Personal responsibility for the health and safety of one another would be the most important theme from this parable for our children's history books.

Jack was too tired to get up and convert the sofa to a bed. Walking home had taken his energy. He managed to take some of his clothes off and he fell asleep... and he dreamt.

Jack found himself in a stately mansion at a wedding with an enormous guest list of social sophisticates. There was popular music playing, which he enjoyed but never heard played before. He did not know anyone there at first, but later saw someone who he had recognized high up in the small theater box balcony above a ballroom. Suddenly he realized that his sweater was on inside-out and he felt horribly embarrassed and out of place. He tried, but failed to remove it. Instead, he lay down near the base of a stage to rest. As he lay there, the theater began to fill to capacity and beyond with wedding guests. Those in the front row ignored him as if he were a peasant sleeping in a public park.

He finally overcame his embarrassment and arose to leave the room with a feigned air of dignity. His clothes were suddenly just fine again, still Jack felt as though he was in the wrong place and he started to leave. As he headed toward the exit door, many others joined in his wake. Soon he realized that he was a part of a pre-destined sojourn.

The group which had subsequently absorbed him boarded mass transit and headed toward the center of the city for a special event at a hotel. Jack could not tell what kind of transit it was because there was an opaque cover on the inside of the windshield. He could not overcome his temptation to see, so he separated the cover with his fingers and he caught a glimpse of what seemed to be traffic chaos, but then he understood the street symbols which enabled computer-guided vehicles to navigate as though choreographed clip of "The Keystone Cops." He turned away almost immediately, having witnessed a continuous barrage of life threatening close calls.

The group arrived at a place in the road which was difficult for their vehicle to physically manage, and came to a stop. He looked again through the windshield cover to see a maintenance person repainting symbols in the roadway and the tight-spiral path that they were about to take to their destination. The vehicle was packed and it struggled to finish the journey.

The people disembarked and entered a hotel lobby; just as people there were rapidly exiting the hotel to a nearby subway as if the building was being evacuated. It was getting dark outside as everyone started running away and looking for sturdy or subterranean shelter.

Jack was with a small group of strangers who found that the subway came to an end at a surface location near a public park. Finally, Jack had come to rest with three or four strangers from the hotel and they sat close together on a concrete patio near the subway. Suddenly Jack understood the reason for all of mass public activity as two rockets streaked across the sky in an arc that would strike their target within a mile from their location. They would become some of the innocent casualties in a nuclear attack. A man sitting next to Jack rose to find a place to view the inevitable blinding flash and Jack grabbed his coat as Jack closed his eyes and told him that it is better not to look. The man sat back down.

In a minute the sky became bright orange and they all witnessed the images shaped by new-formed clouds of dust and debris racing across the sky opposite the direction of the blast.

Even as Jack and everyone with him was about to die, Jack wondered, 'How innocent were we after all?' Jack's heart was beating faster than a racing freight train as he struggled to think his final thought; 'We are all responsible for what happens to all of us. All of us, including me who is among those of us who do not know why we are under nuclear attack probably should have or could have known and we should have voiced opinions or offered solutions that would make it obvious that among all available options, war is the most stupid.'

Jack woke from his dream and pulled out the sofa bed, put some clean sheets on the bed, took a long hot shower and he tried to go back to sleep by thinking about Morgan, who surely would be thinking of Rachael, and she in turn might just be thinking of Pamela and him. Jack knew that Pamela was thinking of him and that she worried about him as much as they both worried about Rachael. Out loud, Jack said, "Goodnight everyone", and then he smiled, but only briefly, because he realized that his last thought in his dream would be the last thought of his life if something like that were to happen.

Jack had played his personal and significant role in deciding history based upon military conflict, and while he saw his role as defensive and against aggressive nations, he also reprimanded himself for not thinking of better solutions to resolving disputes rather than counting the dead and wounded and tallying up the cost of destruction. He frequently reminded himself that he participated in killing others whom he had not known and whose loss and cost to others he had not known; the spouses, children, and other family and friends. The invisible burden of that cross was much more distressing to Jack than his painful limp and cane. To the victims of war, soldier or not, Jack was therefore an indiscriminant murderer and terrorist no less than anyone who points a weapon at a brother or sister and pulls the trigger.

Jack rationalized that ' _Who'_ wins a war has absolutely nothing to do with the motives of war; in other words, there is no basis in logic or reasoning which decides outcome regarding difference of opinion between individuals or groups of any kind. Jack thought how appalling it is that commercialism for military recruitment touts honor, duty, and courage among other attributes and values that one can learn and exhibit in the military, yet killing others is the underlying reason that recruitments are needed, and until war is recognized as the dumbest solution for resolving differences, _they_ _are_ needed. People who have killed others on behalf of any nation are given benefits and looked up to, rather than being forgiven for the duty that they _had_ to carry out in spite of their predilection not to kill others.

_Other's_ is important; regardless of country, we are a collection of unique, yet _equal_ brothers and sisters across this planet first, and groups belonging to country, religion, political party, etc. after.

Jack proposed to himself, the 'almost reciprocal rule' for highlighting for others an inherent flaw in human design that violence exploits: For advancing numbers in deaths due to gun violence or for war, the impact on those who advocate for gun ownership rights vs. the rights of non-gun owners not to be injured or killed by gun owners is almost 1/ [number of people killed].

Just as in war, the number of deaths has its greatest impact when there are few and society can feel the loss of each one. As the numbers of victims escalates, there is less public comprehension of the significance of each single life within the context of a large group of victims and the aggregate number of victims can actually be reason to call for more victims; as in 'we cannot let those who have already fallen, to die in vain. We need to fight on to redeem their sacrifice'.

As a math teacher, Jack thought of himself better able than most to make this point: Imagine one, then five, then fifteen, then thirty-thousand, then fifty-million. A person's comprehension of large numbers stops well before thirty-thousand. In addition, some think that numbers without units are irrelevant, so go ahead now and attach people killed as the units behind those same numbers. What do you see? Do you see little black ink stamped outlines of human shapes all the same and lined up in neat groups of smaller numbers? Now introduce yourself to the idea that none of us are the same, that each of us has an invaluable potential to benefit all of us and we are, each of us equal and priceless, just as you are.

Revisit those numbers again now and attach your perception of your own value to them. If you can understand the words, 'unique' and 'priceless', then you will not be able to comprehend _five_ associated with either. By the way, about six-hundred-thousand lives were lost during the American civil war and although no definitive number has been, or likely ever will be calculated (such a cold word to deal with life) for the number of priceless people killed in World War II, it is estimated to be over fifty-million.' Jack sighed and said out loud, "I wonder how differently we would all behave if we associated our own value by the number of smiles that we received from others."

Jack posed the question to himself; is there, was anything more stupid than war? There were three possible correct answers, he thought; first, polluting the environment; for it is essential for us to find and maintain equilibrium with our environment; second, more than one war; and third; inability to teach our children, and all following generations, about how stupid war is. Jack imagined himself atop a soapbox in front of an auditorium filled with skeptics as he challenged each of them to answer differently. The notion crossed Jack's mind that it is our collective responsibility to develop values and principles that we find worthy to abide by, in the spirit of continuous improvement for us all, and to teach them to our progeny so that they may walk in our footsteps before trudging ahead into hopeful, yet uncharted history.

Jack imagined teaching a classroom of impressionable minds about how long a period war played a role in shaping human history before we evolved from that pervasive insidious insanity. How long before the consensus would understand and not a single such educated person would stoop to the idea that they could allow war to happen, that they would play a role in adding to a growing list of an infinite number of ways to end war before it could begin.

Jack thought of how physically and academically engaged his physics students were when he invited someone to demonstrate the Van de Graaff generator. After students touched the operating generator, static electricity (as can be seen in some clothes while removing them from the clothes dryer) caused their hair to stand on end. Later, and using Van de Graaff generator to charge a Leyden jar which stores static electricity over some time, a more potent and dangerous electrical discharge was demonstrated. Students posed the usual relevant questions, and then Jack asked some of his own questions to the students so that they would be encouraged to think more about what they had seen: If several thousand generators and Leyden jars were positioned to focus an intense discharge at a single point, would there be heat generated, could there be a potential nanosecond rift in the time-space continuum due to an infinitesimally small black hole, could an accurate clock be constructed using the actual rate of discharge from the Leyden Jar, and how might discharge from the Leyden jar be different in a vacuum or within a purified water environment?

Enlightened minds would find the best solutions to the world's worst and possibly the most deeply entrenched problem; war. Jack thought for a moment about sacrificial virgins from ages past who where cast into a volcano to keep it from erupting and destroying their village. Complimentarily, Jack imagined national foes sitting across from an invisible geo-political barrier and gambling with the lives of their countrymen and women to demonstrate that their position was correct and that the position of their foe was, therefore wrong.

Jack thought of how the questions posed in light of an observation can be more potent for skepticism and critical thinking which are needed in order to solve problems and to answer questions. Just as important as critical thinking; however, is the need for consensus on what accurate information is, and what are the historical facts.

Instead of the call to arms and for those who had honor, duty, and courage to defend their country, it would ask for volunteers to stand in line, with their families watching in person and cameras rolling for everyone to watch; and be slain, one-by-one as the heads of state argued with one another. The image was important for a several reasons; first, "I am prepared to die, but there is no cause for which I am prepared to kill." is a quote by Mahatma Gandhi which resonated with what Jack had written earlier; "There is no cause which justifies physical or emotional violence between people aside from defense." That would be a big improvement upon the current rules of war. Second, there would be the cost savings of building the weapons of war machines or ammo. Third, there would be no civilian casualties of war or other 'collateral' damage. Fourth, everyone would be able to see exactly how the extermination of people's lives relates to reasoning in problem solving. Indeed; this would be the heart of the entire debate over the insanity of war, and would generate new light on rationality of problem solving without the need for spilling blood or treasure in any case.

Jack got up and outlined some of his thoughts. His eyes felt like they were burning as he turned the light off again, and he finally fell asleep.

It was Monday morning and the telephone woke Jack. It seemed to him as though he had only slept for an hour so, yet he felt surprisingly refreshed. Megan was on the telephone and she had news; there was an appointment scheduled for Jack to meet with Leven Comstoby at three o'clock PM, per Jack's previous request. Leven's attorney and Megan would also be present. Jack asked Megan to contact Morgan and ask him to be with Rachael in the hospital and to keep his thoughts with her. Jack admitted that he was unexpectedly feeling a rush of emotions, but no hatred; that made him wonder if he was processing everything as he should, or if he might surprise himself and breakdown at the meeting. Megan countered with, "That is why I will be with you, Jack."

Jack wished that he could pen some thoughts to take along, but no written correspondence was permitted. Instead, Jack tried to minimize his own apprehensions with a compassionate view of the state of mind of Leven. It was only three days from the time that his wife was murdered and Rachael was attacked and Leven was going to meet the husband of the woman that he took from him, and the father of the pregnant daughter who now precariously dwells within the uncertainty between life and death. Jack reasoned that for Leven to agree to meet with him at all that there must be more at play than potential leniency on Jack's part in response to answers; there must also be some courage, honor, or fear at play from Leven as well.

At two-thirty o'clock PM, Megan arrived and waited for Jack in her car. Jack dressed casually and looked the part of the role he played as a college professor, as he walked with his cane down the brick and mortar steps from the apartment and then from the walkway to her car. As he got in, Megan commented that Jack seemed to have lost his apprehension and emotional confusion. Jack turned to her and said that he was sure that this meeting of minds would lead to reciprocal rewards. Megan was made uneasy by his calculated response, but she did not question Jack further.

It was cloudy and raining and a bit on the cool side as they entered the county courthouse and jail. The moment was upon them to open the door that would reveal a face and a voice to the person who had taken all that had meaning from Jack; and there he was, in his early thirty's, long and straight blond hair, blue eyes on a face with no expression but peering up at Jack while facing slightly down. Jack pulled a chair out from across the table for Megan, who sat opposite Leven's attorney, and then Jack pulled the chair out that was two chairs away from Megan and directly facing Leven, and he sat down. Leven's eyes went slowly from the table to meet Jack's eyes a second time. Leven's attorney, Gabriel Sheridan started the meeting, "As agreed, this meeting will last at most one hour. There will be no written notes and no communications regarding this meeting beyond these walls. In exchange, Leven Comstoby will be given leniency by the court, insofar as Jack Taylor can make an influence."

Jack nodded and then he placed his hands on the table in front of Leven, just as Leven had, but without the handcuffs holding them in position. Jack started by saying that he was impressed by Leven's response to an outreach and that Jack might be willing to consider a return gesture if Leven offered a future invitation for Jack to visit him under agreed upon guidelines. Leven looked deeply into Jack's eyes and saw a tortured soul, even as Jack saw the same in Leven's eyes, and although neither spoke, they each felt empathy for the other.

Jack told Leven that before he came to the meeting, he promised himself not to say the words, "thank you" to him, but now as he sat across from the person who had seemed before to be a monster, Jack said, "Thank you for meeting with me. Did you hurt my pregnant daughter and kill my wife last Friday?" Leven replied, "Yes, I did, and I am so sorry for your loss." There was a moment of silence as Jack struggled to maintain composure while those words sank in. Jack's voice seemed a little angry as he managed to say, 'thank you' a second time. Leven added, "I am also partly responsible for Benny Prestor's death." Jack looked at Leven's face; there was still no sign of emotion. Jack inferred that Leven had a partner and he asked if Leven had any accomplice who might pose a danger to Morgan or to anyone else. Gabriel interjected that those details involving possible others should not be discussed at this time, but that Leven could offer his opinion as to whether anyone else could be at risk from events related to last Friday. Leven looked into Jack's eyes and Jack watched them fill with moisture. "Mr. Taylor..." Jack interrupted, "Please, call me Jack." "Jack, Benny's horrible death was a casualty that I argued against. His death was to be emphasis to the warning that I was to deliver to your daughter, Rachael. The plan was to tell Rachael that there would be consequences if she pressured Morgan to inform police about drug trafficking at Morgan's high school." Jack was stunned by the deeper meaning to Rachael's suffering, but he focused for the moment on Leven; "Leven, you sound to me like you are remorseful and that you are scared. Do you feel that you are in danger from someone; is that why you turned yourself in? Gabriel admonished Jack from asking questions beyond Leven's involvement in the events on Friday, but Leven answered Jack, "Yes."

Jack said, "I teach mathematics and physics. I have found that I have been living vicariously through Pamela and Rachael for years, but I have only learned that since they were taken from me. I am a teacher, that is what I have done and that is how I have defined myself. I may still teach, but I am something more than a teacher now. Tell me, Leven, how have you been changed by what has happened?" Leven answered that he has been reeling from the changes that have stirred within him. He had no intention of hitting Rachael so hard that it would knock her out, let alone to put her into a life-threatening coma.

He heard Benny's desperate screams and the flames which consumed him after his car exploded and became an inferno. He was told that Benny would die instantly and before the fire as he pulled his hood-release lever to signal that Pamela was on her way to reach Rachael.

He explained that he struggled feverishly to wake Rachael in time to deliver a warning, and was slapping her face to wake her up when Pamela appeared from nowhere. Her eyebrows and hair were singed and still smoking, her lips were scorched and she was bleeding from her hands and arms as she started screaming at Leven. He was so startled by her alarming appearance that in the urgency of the moment as she stood there screaming at him from just outside of the bridge underpass where he and Rachael were, he panicked and he reflexively shot her.

He had never shot anyone before; the look of surprise and anger was still on Pamela's face as she fell dead, the horror-filled image of Benny dying in a fire and the ringing echo of the gunfire under the bridge left Leven dazed for a moment that seemed to linger. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

After a long pause with Jack's head in his hands, Jack recanted in an even tone; the sickening feeling that he had when just as he let loose a torpedo on an American decoy, the ship that he was supposed to strike, when an American destroyer steamed ahead to intercept the torpedo and one hundred men were killed when no one was supposed to die on that day.

The room was silent, but Leven looked inquisitively at Jack and then he asked, "What happened to you?" Jack answered, "I was shot." as he pointed to his cane leaning against the table. "What would happen to you if you hadn't turned yourself in?" Leven began to raise his cuffed hands as if to gesture and then he responded, "I knew Benny well enough to think that he was a good-hearted person who enjoyed living. He was very likeable, but I was not allowed to become personally involved with distributers. I needed to be a part of the plan to warn Rachael and to kill Benny, or I would become expendable as well. I was in over my head. Benny was supposed to have died instantly by the pipe-bomb and Rachael was never supposed to have suffered more than a bad headache."

"So Pamela was on her way to hear the news that her daughter was pregnant, was burned by the flames which consumed your friend while trying to save him, and then you shot her dead as she tried to save our daughter." Jack became more pointed in his question, "So, what would happen to you if you had not turned yourself in?" "What happened to Benny would happen to me", Leven retorted. "Good", replied Jack, "It is important for me to know that you understand why I need the truth in order to move on with my life. You and I have both been wrestling with the questions of how and why our lives are as they are at this moment. In order for me to move on, I must learn answers to questions which will not give me peace. For you to move on, you must understand the truth of your own role in your environment and the impact that you have left on others in your wake. I know that you can help me and I may be able to help you beyond my promise to you which made this meeting possible."

Leven looked at Jack in wonder and asked, "How would you presume to help me?" Jack reached into his shirt pocket and produced the picture that he had taken from his apartment and placed it in front of Leven. "The woman who startled you by her alarming appearance is there smiling with her arms around our daughter, who remains somewhere between life and death. Leven, neither of us may be able to move beyond the hell that is for each of us now, or we can try to help each other to understand. If you invite me back for a meeting within a week, I would welcome the opportunity for us to learn from each other and you can return my photo to me personally, else I trust that you will please care for it while you have it and ask your attorney to return it to me within the week.

I have one more question before I leave today but first; let me ask you if you would like to learn anything from me." "Jack, I thought that there would be much more tension between us. I want to let you know that I appreciate the photo that you have lent to me. Pamela is a beautiful woman and I am sorry... for your loss and for my actions. What is your question?" Jack thanked Leven for his comment and then he asked Leven, had it not been for the fact that he became engaged in the drug trade, would he have pursued another career? Leven answered, "I loved science and math and I thought that I might be an environmental engineer or an ecologist while I was in school. It is interesting to me that you chose the words 'environment' and the 'impact' of what I have done. I dropped out of school to help support my angry and abusive alcoholic father; he is dead now." Jack asked, "So what happened to your mother?" Leven looked down at the table as he responded, "She died as I was born." "Interesting," Jack said, "my own bigoted father died two days ago and my mother died as I was born too. I am truly sorry for both of us."

Jack rose from his chair, reached across the table and put his hand on Leven's hand and said, "Thank you for meeting with me." Leven nodded as Jack took his cane and Megan preceded him out of the door. Jack paused and without looking back he said, "Global climate change needs to be addressed. Leven, I imagine that you might have been a climate expert and a force to be reckoned with in saving our planet. It is difficult to imagine a destiny more important than to attain and then sustain equilibrium with our environment. Indeed, _in order for us to survive, it should be the destiny of humankind to find and maintain equilibrium with our environment in order to maximize the time over which we can ponder and answer the questions of our highest and best use._ "

Megan closed the door behind Jack and then told him that others have come forward to bring light to this case, including Benny Prestor's girlfriend, Sonia Whitman and Morgan Cayne's former girlfriend, Monica Lancaster. She would provide a summation of events together from police records for him that indicated that Jack was not the target of the attacks and that he was not in personal danger. Megan said that the FBI felt comfortable releasing the FBI field personnel from their tasks here. Jack agreed, after all; it seemed clear that there was no relation to the crimes and Jack's role in the military.

As Jack reflected on his own comments regarding his military service to Leven, he realized that there is little difference between himself and Leven as far as deception, because Jack has deceived people in the German navy as Leven had deceived others in order to make up for the disadvantages that he has had due to a stymied education and broken home life. They were both skilled in some areas that are not learned in an educational setting.

Megan took Jack back to the hospital to be with Rachael. It has been two days since her surgery to remove the fragmented bone of her skull from her brain.

Jack sat with her, ever hopeful for a sign that her coma would break and that she could return to Morgan and him. The world outside of the hospital seemed to continue in almost suspended animation, much the same as the state of Rachael's life and of Jack's connection to life; as it was defined through his wife and daughter.

Morgan appeared in the doorway as Jack raised his head from Rachael's hand. Morgan stood there for a moment to observe Jack at his most vulnerable and weak; he seemed completely lost with worry that his life might have to go on without Rachael. Jack's sadness was written on his face even through the smile that he struggled to put on as his eyes met Morgan's, which endeared Jack to Morgan even more. Morgan spoke first, as a courtesy to Jack who seemed unable to speak at that moment.

"I am not doing well with my studies, even with a tutor." Jack answered, "I am not surprised. I am unable to focus on things other than the countless questions circling inside of my head too." Jack's eyes became misty as he continued, "I met with Leven today and I found that he is not a monster, in fact he does not seem all that different from myself; yet how can I measure the environmental impact of his actions over the few minutes that it took for him and others to change our lives and the lives of others who we care about, forever?

How should one measure and then mete out justice in order to put tragedy behind us so that we can live in the present again with both feet on the ground and ready to walk confidently into the future? I am only certain of one thing after meeting with Leven today; I do not want revenge. I understand from my own experience how it can be that seemingly righteous or innocuous choices can lead to circumstances which can ultimately control us by threatening our own survival. I don't know the facts well enough to say that that is the truth, but it is my impression for now."

Morgan choked as he began to speak, "I am even more confused now. I had hung on to feelings of anger in order to make sense of this madness. What I am left with are my own feelings of guilt that I was a part of events that led to Pamela's death and Rachael lying unconscious here." Jack responded, "I know that your former girlfriend and Benny's girlfriend have come forward with more details concerning these crimes, but you cannot blame yourself anymore than I should blame myself for moving Pamela and Rachael here from San Diego. We are who we are because of events of our lives, but we are never the same in the present as we were in the past. I sense that even Leven is someone much different than he may have been only days ago.

In the end, we all need each other. I don't know if we should ask others for forgiveness or if forgiveness is something that we each must do for ourselves, but we should all hope that we can help others on a life-long journey of continuous improvement. I have known Rachael for her entire life and I love her. You have known Rachael for a much shorter time and you love her differently, but equally regardless of her past, just as she feels for you..." Jack finished his sentence as he looked at Rachael's inexpressive face, her eyes closed, as her mind seemed to be, "so, I now love you too; not as she does, but as I love her."

The telephone rang and Jack answered. Megan called to tell Jack that she would give Jack more detailed information on the deposition by Sonia Whitman and Monica Lancaster in a lunch meeting tomorrow, Tuesday and that the FBI would be reassigning their resources away from this case today. Jack would need to move his things back to his house from his apartment by the end of the month, but from Assisi Heights by the end of the week. Jack's car had been parked at his apartment and Pamela's car was parked curbside at his house.

Jack hung up the telephone and told Morgan that they should take a drive. The two of them went to Jack's apartment first and they found Jack's car there, as Megan had said. Jack told Morgan to drive home and Jack would meet him there in a few more minutes. Jack went inside of his apartment and found a voice message on his telephone from Anna Jacobs; she and Paige Markham, another friend of Rachael's, would both fly into Rochester from San Diego on Tuesday, tomorrow.

Jack called her back and Anna's father answered. After talking for a little while, Jack assured him that he would pickup Anna and Paige when they arrived at the airport and would take care of their traveling expenses while they were visiting.

Jack then went to his car and drove to pick up Morgan and the two of them went to Pamela and Jack's house. Along the way, Jack told Morgan that Anna and Paige were coming from San Diego tomorrow (Tuesday) and Morgan asked to come with Jack to pick them up. Jack was grateful for the offer. Jack told Morgan that he was going to give Pamela's car to him and Rachael now that Pamela was gone, but that Morgan might just as well use it now instead of tying up his family's car so much of the time.

When they arrived at Jack and Pamela's house, Morgan asked if the two of them should go inside and Jack responded that it was too early for him to feel the emptiness with Pamela gone, but Morgan pushed and convinced him that they needed to check and see that everything was alright.

Jack opened the front door and stepped inside, and then he said that he would just rest in the living room while Morgan looked around for any damage. After checking the refrigerator and taking out the trash, they left keys in the car for the FBI to recover the rental and both drove to Jack's apartment where Jack stayed and Morgan left to eat dinner with his family.

Jack made some notes regarding his will to include Morgan and would have Megan take care of those details and the transfer of ownership of Pamela's car for him. He also planned to sell his house and hoped that he would not need to step inside there again; the loss of Pamela was just too great for him while he was still worrying about Rachael.

Jack looked again at the Styrofoam cooler that was full of family photos. He began the very lonesome task of going through them for Pamela's funeral. At first, he would look at each picture with such melancholy, but he knew that he didn't have the emotional energy to proceed that way so instead, he methodically made a pile of fifty or so photos for him and Morgan to make into a collage for Pamela's funeral on Wednesday.

Jack sat back into the couch and with his hands clasped behind his head, he closed his eyes and recalled something he said to Morgan about Leven, "I understand from my own experience how it can be that seemingly righteous or innocuous choices can lead to circumstances which can ultimately control us by threatening our own survival. I don't know the facts well enough to say that that is the truth, but it is my impression for now."

Jack wondered aloud, "If one can understand the 'before and after' impact assessment of any event, then one must be able to anticipate or to forecast events sometime into the future; would Pamela and Jack have retired at the vacation home that was to be built in Wabasha by Morgan and his father Layton? Would Morgan and Rachael visit them with their young child and perhaps ask the grandparents to visit from time-to-time? Would Leven see that his life was getting out of his control and find a way to pursue his own dream of helping to save our environment? What were the reviewable facts? _Reviewable facts_ ; that phrase stayed with Jack.

Laws are made in the context of the time that they are written. While some precedent transcends the ages, such as the foundation of our law that every person is equal to every other person, while other laws may be viewed as antiquated for current circumstances and/or from the view of salient cultural perspectives, such as the customary treatment of women as less than equal to their male dominating counterparts in middle-eastern cultures. Therefore, precedent may be viewed important or not so, based upon how recently the law was made or interpreted together with how closely said law appears to be related to founding assumptions of equality and other socially cohesive and collectively identified assumptions of lawful prominence.

So what should reviewable facts be and how should they be determined? Should there be estimation of forecasted events if not influenced by the event of a crime so as to estimate restitution because of the crime to victims for justice to occur? How can we have reviewable facts? Jack imagined a legal system unfettered by the constraints of cost.

More generally, we all have a responsibility learn and promote rational understanding of facts. People can and should have their opinions or conflicting theories, imagination should always be unencumbered, but facts, while they may be revisited, should be undeniable in the present. Jack got up and jotted these notes: " _The destiny of humankind is to learn and promote rational understanding of individual facts, processes and procedures within a defined spectrum between pure conjecture and the absolute and undisputed truth._

We have to agree on the facts in order to work in unison for our common benefit.

1. What is the quality and the quantity of information that you have which we can find agreement on or that can be determined to be irrefutable?

2. Are you willing to challenge the rigidity of your institutional positions of 'belief' and 'self' in order to accept a time-sensitive consensus (set precedent should always be subject to review) regarding ideological concepts such as country, religion, government, or education?

3. Are you willing to share the principles and values which guide you and help to construct an economic, legal, political, and social system which rewards the best principles and behavioral traits among us?

4. Are you willing to make or accept cultural customs which reinforce our awareness of how the institution of 'self' impacts other institutions within others and us with whom we interact?"

A consensus must be found regarding reviewable facts and principles to teach our descendants.

We are unable to set meaningful goals or to work towards them without a consensus of understanding of facts by heterogeneous groups or even by disparate locations of people. There needs to be a basic framework social values, interactions, expectations, and responsibilities in order to improve the greater good of us all.

Jack imagined that a 'gender court' might exist to demonstrate that something of trust is taken from all men when one makes a crime against a woman. A man perpetrating a crime against any woman would therefore be accountable to restitution of some sort to all other men for the insult to their character as a whole. A 'family court' might find that Leven was himself a victim of social neglect as he was allowed to grow up in an environment that was hostile to child development, an educational system that failed him, and an economic system that was in inaccessible to him, perhaps in part to the general environment which shaped him. Might some or most of us be more like Leven if we grew up in his shoes?

And how would family court determine the potential loss of Rachael's mother to her and himself, or to her yet unborn child if she were to die or be physically and/or psychologically impaired in some way? How is society generally hurt when one of their own is killed or maimed by a gun or any instrument designed to kill or maim? Restitution should be made by all gun owners for any victim involving any gun. Why shouldn't there be mandatory insurance premiums collected from all gun owners for that purpose and for the needs of a community for additional protection or security when one of their own breeches the unwritten contract not to use a weapon unless _needed_ for defense, and not just used because lethality was convenient to use?

Jack remembered that his daughter was about to tell him and his wife Pamela that she was pregnant with their first grandchild. How could any court, family or otherwise, determine the before and after impact of hearing and of never hearing _that_ news?

Jack thought of other types of court to consider in determining all reviewable facts in an environment impact assessment. There would be a national court as a case might relate internationally or with regard to public safety, personality type court, local customs court... Jack stopped. There must be an intersection made between costs for finding the reviewable facts, the cost for finding deterrence for potential similar crimes, and the cost of restitution to the victims of crime. The first and last costs should be borne by the criminals, while the second should be borne by society, for that is simply an effort towards continuous improvement of public safety.

First, the punishment for misdemeanor crimes should not be with a fine, because public tax money is used to fund law enforcement and there should be no other financial incentive for officers to enforce laws that only drives a wedge between themselves and the goodwill of citizens.

Secondly, offenders would less likely be recidivists if required to take classes, say in order to regain their driver's license in non-violent misdemeanor acts which would occur during the offender's normal work time and which said time would need to be made up by the offender(s). The personal inconvenience and effort requires more time to reflect on the wrongful behavior than simply paying a fine; which is disproportionate justice with fixed fines and varied incomes of offenders.

The public should have tape recorders or communications devices as standard vehicle equipment to notify police of traffic violations, dangerous driving, stranded motorist, or any type of emergency or public interest, and to indicate within a spectrum of the urgency and magnitude of necessary response.

The punishment for crimes other than misdemeanor should be a cost of freedom and work, which can be repaid to victims in order for criminals to regain their rights. In the legal system, convicts should not seen as on a lesser rung in the social hierarchy, rather they should be seen as temporary carriers of varied degrees of social disease who need to be isolated until they are cured.

People need to realize that we are a part of a social organism and that the people who choose to kill their own are a type of social disease that needs to be isolated until they are no longer harmful to themselves or to others. People who threaten the safety of others for the purpose of coercion to do an action also need to be quarantined. Importantly those who trespass on the equal rights or equal value of all others should have their rights reduced in order to restrain their impact on society generally; the more that someone thinks that he or she is greater than equal to someone else, the more severe should be the punishment on an appropriate social disease spectrum. Insult to one is to insult us all; women, minorities, or of any group which can be named.

Criminals should live in concentric geographical areas bounded outwardly by less-severe crimes against the public; which means one or more people.

The inner most geographical areas should policed by criminals on the outer border of that region and one can earn their way to less restrictive areas or fall back to more restrictive regions.

The sentencing for crimes committed against society is not years spent in prison but are the geographical positions to live within the rings in discipline (RID). Each person has his or her own capacity to learn from their experiences and to rise above the condition that they were in and to benefit from the efforts made towards continuous improvement and to advance towards general citizenry.

People who are willing to defend what _they_ have in order to survive a calamity or disaster by making bunkers and procuring an arsenal of weapons and munitions are a threat to society and should be isolated within the RID.

The alternative to what we might expect will happen following a cataclysm needs to be put in place or the persons who have the most powerful weapons will defend the most strategic locations and _they_ will determine the fate of the rest of us.

An important advantage of this structured system of rings of discipline is that each ring has a vested interest in seeing that each person in the subsequent 'inner' ring achieve their potential in social civility and personal integrity.

Also, people within the RID system have the advantage of producing goods which are useful to society or for export that can be used for sustenance and for repatriation to victims of crimes. Repatriation to victims of crime should be made the focus of RID activity in order for perpetrators of crime to earn their self-respect and forgiveness by society.

"Interesting", Jack pondered to himself, "that the positive elements of 'equal rights' and 'equal value' and mutual interest in securing economic good for all should be limited to the confines of the RID." He imagined a values-driven economy, not based upon what one can do for oneself, but for what one can do for others; altruism vs. greed and selfishness.

Leadership within the economic engines of society and business would be elected as in a democratic political system of shared responsibilities over a defined (limited) tenure. Gone would be the days when it was an economic system designed by men for men, but a shared system of shared responsibility with equal value among the sexes and other groups which is motivated by improving the lives of everyone in order that _your_ life would be made better too.

Also gone, would be the days when evil deeds could be purchased by another; in fact there would be little need for the commodity of money where basic needs were met with the exchange of work. One of the famous fundamental flaws of capitalism, that it is profitable to pollute our environment would also be defeated. Society would be able to govern commerce so that all of society would be engaged in the production of gross domestic product (GDP) and no single group however defined, would be able to dominate in the sharing of GDP.

Governing commerce is not the only thing society could govern, absent the motivation of greed; self-governance could also be free and clear of the influence of money and power that continues to flow to fewer and fewer people among us. Jack recalled that he learned from his wife, Pamela that Tammany Hall, a corrupt political society lived for about one-hundred and forty years until sometime in the 1960's, was influential in derailing the intended democratic process for the election of Thomas Jefferson and for New York City mayors for seventy years.

The dawning of the computer/information age could absolve us all of the ability of a few wealthy or corporate sponsors to corrupt the few among us who are supposed to represent the citizenry, but who are indebted to them instead; to fill their campaign war chests in order to hold on to their seats at the end of their term.

Democracy is one of the few things that have not become more efficient with technology during our country's history. Public elections could be made electronically and backed up and verified by one or more trusted allies so that the public is assured of the facts.

Instead of running for office, we the people might actually nominate people to be vetted for consideration for our _call_ to serve. Our ability to extend democracy to all areas of public service to achieve our collective goals may only be limited by our ability to feel confident about our processes (reviewable facts), and our collective interpretation of facts within the spectrum of conjectural guess to indisputable (yet _always_ reviewable).

All public decisions need to be made upon the merits of the facts alone and not distorted by a delivery of patriotism, fear, personal charisma, oration ability, structural eloquence, or some other emotion, talent, or personal characteristic that can be used as a means of control. Even in commercialism, there must be standards to be met for there to be an unbiased assessment as to truth within that spectrum and benefits and risks identified in real time.

Jack imagined random citizen participation with term limits, the likes of which has never been more representative of the electorate. Political and all debate and all judicial information could be in written form or read from orators trained to put no passion in regard to explaining the facts of a legal case, a public debate or of an election.

Standards of truth should be required for all advertising and social media in order for a democratic society to understand challenges and to make informed decisions. The information must be accountable to international standards so that any challenge or rebuke by a foreign nation can be met and defeated. Indeed, international standards of truth, especially because of equality of rights and of personal value could someday remove the need for political boundaries altogether.

Any person can belong to any group and be held accountable to any philosophical or social ideals that they hold. Citizens could live in any state and declare their citizenship in any other state that most represents their own personal values. Companies would not have the same privilege but would be taxed and/or given benefits and be held responsible equally in every state. Logic would extend that citizens of any democracy on earth could be locally responsible, yet could be protected under the set of laws of a particular country and/or state of their choosing.

Jack thought of a case in point; his own daughter might have a medical condition which would threaten her life if she were to become pregnant. If she happened to live in a state where abortion was limited through regulation, physical access, or other means, she may have already made a five-year (say) commitment to be citizen of another state which would allow her to make free and independent choices regarding her health and her body. Conversely, a citizen living in the state which does not allow abortions would be restricted by the laws of the state to which she has made a citizenship alliance.

Jack recalled the moment when, in the company of Morgan he declared that neither of them could speak in choosing whether to terminate Rachael's pregnancy, "...the decision to terminate her pregnancy can only be made by Rachael."

Jack wondered aloud, "Dear Rachael, can you hear me? Please be well so that we may all heal from our tortured minds."

Jack, too tired to eat or to change his clothes, simply reclined on the couch and fell asleep.

He woke again around three o'clock AM exhausted and feeling as one does after sleeping in their clothes, and then he took a shower and went back to bed. His body was refreshed, but his mind needed rest. He gathered the pictures together for Pamela's funeral, put them in a shopping bag, and then he went back to sleep. The new day would be busy.

#  A 'Get Well Soon' Wish from Marsha Daniels

At eight o'clock AM on Tuesday morning, Jack phoned Morgan and asked him to pick up some craft supplies and poster boards for Pamela's funeral and then park his car at his apartment. They would both drive together to the hospital to see Rachael in his car.

Jack took his notes for his meeting with Megan along with the photos for Pamela's funeral. After they both arrived and each of them greeted Rachael with a kiss on her cheek and voiced their wishes for her speedy recovery, Jack produced the photos from the bag and suggested that he and Morgan might enlist the help of Anna Jacobs and Paige Markham later in the day to make a collage for Pamela's funeral on Wednesday. Morgan was eager to help and felt honored to be a member of the family in good standing with Jack and Rachael.

Then Jack announced that he could not be in two places at one time and that he would be with Rachael at the time of Pamela's funeral; that is what Pamela would have wanted. Rachael and Jack would be together in thoughts of Pamela, and Pamela and Jack would be together in their thoughts and prayers for Rachael. Jack told Morgan not to worry, that he, Morgan would be in the company of Rachael's friends who were coming to visit later in the day, but that he needed Morgan to tell friends and relatives why Jack could not be there with them to celebrate Pamela's life.

A nurse came into Rachael's room around ten o'clock AM to deliver a card which had come in the mail. The card was written in barely legible handwriting from Marsha Daniels. Jack and Morgan looked at one another puzzled by the name, but the address was from the apartment building where Rachael had been staying. The letter began, "Dear friends and family of Rachael. I wish that I could be with you in support of Rachael and pray for her speedy recovery, but I have arthritis and cataracts and it is difficult for me to get about, or even to write.

I met Rachael only a few months ago when she moved into my apartment building to prepare for her medical secretarial training. Until we met, few people would ever look into my lifeless eyes and smile at me, let alone become my friend. Rachael did become my friend. Sometimes she invited me over for tea and toast and sometimes we would spend quiet time in my apartment while she studied. She was late leaving for her date to meet with her mother jogging last Friday because she was preparing an Epsom salt bath for my feet to soak.

My husband was killed in WWII when the destroyer that he was on was torpedoed by a German U-boat; just imagine! He was younger than me and I had stayed with his family in the south until our children had grown, but no one there was particularly friendly to me, a single 'Yankee' mom. I moved back here years ago to my hometown in order to get farther away from the disgust and revulsion by others who saw me as different and unwanted. I just wanted to die in a place that would bring me more peace, even if a lonely peace... and then came Rachael; her passion and her spirit permeated my own and I realized how close to death I was when she brought so much light to me. I was smiling every day, even when she wasn't here. How tragic to us all that one so gifted in bringing life to others should have to suffer now. My hopes and prayers are with her as well as with you all. Marsha Daniels"

Jack's eyes filled with prideful tears for his daughter as he looked at her and then he found Marsha's telephone number and called her to thank her for the kind card. He offered the help of Morgan and himself to pick her up around four o'clock PM to be with Rachael and her friends and family in Rachael's hospital room. Marsha gladly accepted the invitation.

Jack reminded Morgan that he would be meeting with Megan at one o'clock PM and asked if Morgan had any questions or comments to relay to Megan. Morgan asked if they could speak outside of Rachael's room.

They walked outside together and in the hall, Morgan turned to Jack and said, "Jack, Rachael has been unresponsive for four days now. I have always been sure that she would wake up and that life for us would pick up where it had left off, but now I am beginning to have doubts. I don't know what life means for me without her. How can I ask any questions when all that is on my mind is whether Rachael will survive?" Jack responded, "Listen Morgan, this is important: Until proven otherwise, Rachael will survive. If she does not survive, then she will live on within all of the lives that she has touched especially yours and mine. Rachael cannot be strong for herself right now, so we don't have the option of being weak. We both must be strong for her now. Just keep in mind that in the worst-case scenario I have your back."

Morgan looked into Jack's eyes first with an expression of emotional relief and then with a slight surprise and then he said, "Jack, thanks for understanding and for giving me strength. I have to say that you have surprised me over the last four days..." Jack interrupted, "I think I know what you are about to say, but go on." "You have always seemed to be more of a by-stander rather than a passionate participant and advocate for others; even more an inspirational leader for me and others to cope with what life has thrown at us. I suppose you noticed a change in yourself as well." Jack just stood there and he became obviously weak holding himself with his cane and then he began to weep uncontrollably.

Morgan held onto him as Jack told him through tears, "I may not be as strong as I appear sometimes." Jack collected his strength and stood back and said, "You are right, I have surprised myself at how obvious the instruments of life seem to be, right and wrongful behavior and of actions and unintended consequences are as I see them now. I never had cause to be so involved in life more so than to try to be a good provider and loving father. In fact, the idea of _me_ has never been so much a question as it is now without having the context of Pamela or Rachael to define me. In a way, I feel as though I am impossible to live with and yet I have to live with myself."

Morgan said, "We'll be okay." and then they both walked back into Rachael's room. Morgan asked Jack if he thought Rachael might have questions for Megan; Jack thought for a moment and then he replied, "What can I do to insure that others who need me and love me will survive if I cannot be here? I am glad that you asked that question, Morgan. Don't you worry Rachael; no one is going anywhere until you get well again."

Morgan left to go home for lunch while Jack made some additional notes to the others he brought regarding his will for his meeting with Megan, and then he left to meet her at her office. When he arrived, Megan began the meeting by updating the news that she had learned from the police investigation of the crimes against Pamela and Rachael.

Emaile (girlfriend of Morgan's younger brother) had missed seeing Monica after Morgan had broken up with her in January of 1981 and she told her so in May, 1981 while at Rachael's high school graduation. She told Monica that she and Julien had missed doing things together with Monica and Morgan. She also told her that she wished that Monica was still Morgan's girlfriend and that Rachael just seemed too prissy and 'good' to feel comfortable around. Morgan and Rachael also seemed to her much less inclusive of other people.

Emaile told police that Monica said that she could not stand the thought of Morgan and Rachael being together and that she wished Rachael 'were dead'. Emaile agreed with her, but thought that she was speaking figuratively at the time and had dismissed it as potentially serious.

Monica had admitted saying that to Emaile, and also said that sometime after Emile left her apartment, Monica dwelt on her hurt feelings. She felt that she might never get over Morgan but that she would never forgive him for leaving her either. She decided that if she could not have Morgan back then neither should Morgan have Rachael, but she said that she never intended that Rachael should be harmed.

Monica contacted her girlfriend, Sonia on the following day and told her that she is afraid that Sonia's boyfriend Benny Prestor may be at risk for jail if Rachael has her way with Morgan and convinces him to help his younger brother, Julien with potential addiction problems that were becoming apparent. She said to her that Morgan had told Rachael about his concern that his brother Julien was becoming dependant on drugs other than pot, which was coincidentally true according to Morgan, but Monica admitted that she had no way of knowing.

Monica was extremely remorseful when she learned that her best friend's boyfriend, Benny was killed in that horrible fire and she seemed fully cooperative with police. She was not afraid of her own safety that reprisals might await her for disclosing information to police, but she was wracked with guilt and shame for having the selfish and childish motives that had apparently become the moral hazard of the events which had followed. She thought about having a meeting or calling Morgan to offer condolences to him but she felt that her words and even her voice might be salt in the wounds of her grieving former boyfriend.

Jack was both comforted by hearing details that helped to answer some of the logistical questions of 'how' what happened did happen, but those answers also made the lingering questions regarding 'how _could_ that happen', which were much more compelling in regard to their context of the lives of Pamela, Rachael and everyone who knew or loved them.

In the moment, Jack subconsciously witnessed that the unveiling of truth is a chain-reactive process which drives the pursuit for more answers as it becomes increasingly exposed. It was a lesson that he would soon learn and which would help him to understand himself as if for the first time in his life.

Jack seemed unmoved by the news from Megan's perspective, but he was processing more than just her words. His facial expression came back with a heavy sigh as he pivoted to the subject to his last will and testament. Megan was a bit startled at his seeming nonchalance and asked Jack if he understood what she had to say. Jack responded, "The responses to us by those who are younger than we, are as much a testament to our failure to provide them with a proper environment as it would seem that they were predisposed for evil."

His own words brought clarity to some deep-seated yet previously illusive ideas. "Speaking of testament"..., he continued, but Megan interrupted, "Before we go there, I want to let you know that Leven Comstoby has returned your picture of Rachael and Pamela via his attorney Gabriel Sheridan and has requested another meeting with you." Megan handed the picture to Jack and he looked at it for a moment as he wondered what impression it may have made on Leven. Megan continued, "Leven would like to meet with you under the same circumstances as our last meeting with him and his attorney and _soon_."

Jack thought out loud, "Well, today is out of the question and tomorrow is Pamela's funeral... I will be with Rachael all day. Thursday is too late when he needs to see me soon... I will meet with him at five o'clock tomorrow for up to two hours if you can arrange it Megan." Megan assured Jack that it would not be a problem but was privately taken aback by how important it seemed to Jack to meet again with Leven, even on the day of Pamela's funeral. Jack added, "Please make it a point to tell Leven that I am sorry that I cannot meet with him sooner."

Jack proceeded to direct the division of his sizeable estate to include the sale of his home and his dominant heir to be Morgan in the event of Rachael's death and a healthy stipend for Megan for administering his estate. Megan never questioned why Jack's lifestyle was far from commensurate to the size of his estate. In fact, it was intuitively clear to her that the unseen complexity of Jack's financial portfolio matched the equally illusive complexity of Jack's persona; both were invisible to others because of Jack's beautifully simple nature and his unpretentious demeanor. Jack made one demand clear; his will as outlined, needed be made legally binding before his meeting with Leven. Jack explained that he could not be dealing with the accounting process, even though it was urgent, while there were lives and loved ones at stake.

Megan said that she would arrive at the hospital at four o'clock PM tomorrow (Wednesday) in order to see Rachael before taking Jack to see Leven and that she would have documents for Jack to sign. Jack was grateful for her concern and her commitment to him and then Jack asked to use her telephone to tell Morgan to meet him at his apartment so that they could leave together to pick up Anna Jacobs and Paige Markham by three o'clock PM at the airport.

Morgan was waiting when Jack arrived at his apartment and they left together in Jack's car. Jack told Morgan that Rachael had many friends back in San Diego and that it was difficult for Rachael to leave in her senior year of high school, but that it was his duty to protect them and that required them to move. He continued, "Morgan, I don't always know what is right, but I always do the best that I can. I am not sure that Rachael could have ever forgiven me for uprooting her, had she not met you." Morgan replied, "Jack, I have made mistakes; some I couldn't see at the time but may still have consequences." Jack said smiling, "That is _so_ true and for us all. Everyone who is engaged in making decisions and taking actions contributes to this singular whirling dervish that we all call 'life'; that is why I have agreed to meet with Leven Comstoby tomorrow at five. I feel that we all share in some way for what has happened to Rachael and Pamela and Leven is not the devil incarnate that we, as victims might like to paint him."

Morgan was silent for a moment and then he spoke, "Jack, I am surprised that you are meeting him at all, but that you are meeting him on the same day as Pamela's funeral is... disturbing!" Jack responded, "Leven asked for me to see him as soon as possible and meeting with him may dislodge more information which will let all of us have peace. I will not be his enemy until I try to become his friend first. It is cogent that we have just discussed how our own best intentions and carefully laid plans are fallible. I need to understand Leven, and I think that it may be equally important to Leven to talk to me." Morgan thought of how Jack came apart emotionally earlier that same morning when he said, "I may not be as strong as I appear sometimes." and he held his tongue.

#  Ability to Adapt to Change or Crisis

Anna and Paige's flight was on time and they greeted Jack and Morgan with smiles and hugs.

When their luggage was placed into the trunk and everyone was seated in the car, Jack remarked that Anna was easily recognizable, but that Paige's appearance was a stunning departure from his recollection; gone was her long hair and pink lipstick and in their place was gelled short spike hair cut with a tight black leather jacket. She looked like 'a girl trying to look like a guy' to Jack, but he added, "It is wonderful to see both of you and thank you for being here for Rachael and Pamela." Morgan was immediately comfortable with them and the three of them conversed freely as though Jack was just the driver, and that was just as Jack thought it should be.

Jack drove to his apartment to phone Anna's parents that their daughter and Paige had arrived safely, while Morgan took the two of them to their hotel, nearby and across the street from the hospital where Rachael was a patient. Morgan phoned home for his brother, Julien Cayne and invited him and his girlfriend, Emaile Harrier to meet Anna and Paige in Rachael's hospital room at four o'clock PM while he and Jack went to pick up Marsha Daniels.

When Morgan and Jack arrived at Marsha Daniel's apartment, she invited them to come inside, but she was too tired and weak to go to the hospital and visit Rachael. She did give each of them a glass of water and told both of them that Rachael had been in her thoughts; and then she produced a poem which was both physically and emotionally painful for her to write:

I was in love and springtime lasted forever. I couldn't have known how happy I was. Sometimes one cannot see perfect harmony even while we are so close to the heart of Mother Nature.

My husband was black and my family was white, I chose to show my children the love of caring relatives than to be downcast by members of my own family. Sometimes one sees clarity in a fog, but it also can be illusory.

Being 'different' means being 'less-than equal' in the eyes of some people, regardless of the differences among themselves. Sometimes, equality cannot be seen for what it is, that it sometimes has nothing to do with similarity or difference, but rather has to do with the eyes through which others choose to see.

My husband is gone like the spring. My children are grow up and grown away. My loneliness is compounded by my aching and aging body, and my mind blinded both by cataracts and the memories of angry and heartless souls who were my family. Sometimes, one cannot tell how hot the fire is while one is being consumed by it.

I have come home to die. A new spring is here to signal my final season. My room grows dimmer and quieter every day. I painfully walk through narrowing halls deeper and deeper into the night when I dream.

Sometimes, one is surprised when the next step is not her last step.

And so I was, at the end of my life waiting for anyone to take my hand, even it were the Grimm Reaper; I was ready, but instead I saw the shadow of the happy person that I once was in the spring of my own life and so close to Mother Nature.

Love always surprises us, even when it is impossibly far away.

Rachael, I love you.

Marsha Daniels

Jack promised Marsha that he and Morgan would help her to come and visit Rachael in the hospital when she felt up to it again, but Just as Jack and Morgan were leaving, Marsha surprised them by stating that her husband, George Daniels was killed when the destroyer that he was sailing on was struck by an enemy torpedo in the Atlantic during WWII. Jack's face went white and there was an awkward silence. Jack rhetorically replied, "I am deeply sorry for your loss and so grateful for the service of your husband. I am afraid that we have to leave now, but I look forward to seeing you again very soon."

Jack asked Morgan to drive, and then Jack vomited outside of the passenger door before he got into the car. Morgan asked what was happening. Jack responded that he was a captain on board a U-boat who fired a torpedo and which struck a destroyer in the Atlantic and he believed that George Daniels was among the one hundred casualties on board. "Could Marsha have known that it was me who killed her husband?" Morgan reminded Jack of his own words on their way to pick up Anna and Paige at the airport, "Everyone who is engaged in making decisions and taking actions contributes to this singular whirling dervish that we all call 'life'". Jack smiled briefly, but he was clearly very uncomfortable. Morgan drove Jack to his apartment so that he could get cleaned and ready to visit others in Rachael's hospital room and Morgan drove his own car to the hospital.

After he had taken a shower, Jack read the poem from Marsha Daniels once more and he wondered to himself; how powerful are the spit second moments of life's events? If that destroyer had not accelerated, if his submarine were at different coordinates, if only he had fired earlier or later then Marsha Daniels, her husband George, their children and so many other's lives would have been completely different. Jack was filled with remorse, and yet he had to prepare to be with Rachael and her friends to pray for her and to remember Pamela's life; her funeral was tomorrow.

Jack arrived at the hospital to see that Morgan had already organized a party to create a collage of pictures in commemoration of Pamela's life. Anna and Paige had become fast friends with Morgan, his brother Julien and his girlfriend Emaile. Jack went over to Rachael's bedside and read Marsha Daniels poem out loud to her. Jack commented on some of the pictures that were posted and told stories which included Anna and Paige to help the group become even more cohesive. When their work was done, Jack invited Morgan's family and those present to meet for dinner at a restaurant even though Jack had little appetite himself.

After everyone was served, Jack got the attention of his guests and thanked Anna and Paige for joining with his family to celebrate the life of Pamela and to pray for the speedy recovery of Rachael; and then he added, "Not one among us, nor is there anyone we know who can answer the question of how we have all come to be together tonight, just as there is no one who can prove _who_ they are without the subjective use of their name. Some facts are unquestionable and some questions have no counterparts; yet here we are tethered together by the bonds of friendship and love in this 'whirling dervish' that we call 'life'." Jack nodded to Morgan. "I am especially grateful to you all and I don't know how I could survive these times without your love and support."

After dinner, some in the dinner party returned to Rachael's room to keep her company while Jack fell back to his apartment. From there, he called Catralina at the Assisi Heights convent to let her know that he would be there to remove the few things that he had at their rectory on Thursday and he updated her with the events of Rachael and Pamela and asked for her prayers. Catralina thanked Jack for his call and invited him to 'stay close'.

As Jack was about to promise to do that, Catralina interrupted him and said, "Jack, you more than _anyone_ should realize that the random connections that people have with one another will make it impossible for anyone of us to keep track of all of the consequences of our thoughts and actions. Forgive yourself now for the people who have suffered in the wake of your life just as you are trying so desperately to forgive those whose wakes have radically changed your life as well as the lives of those you love." The phone disconnected and Jack was left in wonder if there was something wrong with the telephone or if Catralina had intentionally hung up before saying, 'Good-bye'.

'Stay close' was the phrase that resonated with him as he hung up the telephone. Jack was grateful that there were others to see him through these times when life was coming at a dizzying pace. 'Stay close' is such a simple phrase, but whose depth is unfathomable in the context of the human spirit who needs to hear it. None of us can exist as we are and be alone forever, at least not while we are alive _here_.

Jack was drinking some water from one of Pamela's favorite blue and white coffee cups. He recalled how the rim of her cup usually had a lipstick imprint from her delicate lips. Jack wondered if she will have changed if he finds himself in her company in the 'hereafter', but as a matter of fact, he would never know her again.

He was getting ready for bed and it occurred to him that he has never been as emotional in his life as he has become in recent days. Morgan was right; he _was_ changing. The thought was a little disconcerting, but subdued by the deepening night and the thought of the day ahead where he would be the spiritual conduit between Rachael and Pamela.

Suddenly, Jack remembered Catralina's tone of voice when she said that Jack 'more than _anyone'_ should realize that the random connections between us all..." and he wondered if she could have known about his conversation with Marsha Daniels when he learned that he was responsible for her husband's death. "She couldn't possibly know." Jack told himself, yet the way that he learned the news from Marsha was equally uncanny to the way Catralina unexpectedly encouraged him to forgive himself.

Jack turned the light off and went to bed and closed his eyes, and then he opened them wide as he remembered that his father had passed away in San Diego three days ago and that he would probably be hearing soon about his funeral. It didn't seem odd to Jack that he had forgotten his estranged and bigoted father under the current circumstances, but that he forgot to tell Megan, his attorney _did_.

After Jack repositioned himself and closed his eyes a second time he thought of how Catralina used the phrase 'random connections' describing how people's lives are intertwined and how that compared with his own dinner speech; "Not one among us, nor is there anyone we know who can answer the question of how we have all come to be together tonight, just as there is no one who can prove _who_ they are without the subjective use of their name or other facts and events equally subjective. Some facts are unquestionable and some questions have no counterparts; yet here we are tethered together by the bonds of friendship and love in this 'whirling dervish' that we call 'life'."

The bonds do seem completely random, yet there are noticeable aberrations, situations like those tonight in which no one could have predicted that Marsha would tell Jack about her husband, a man that Jack killed by accident among ninety-nine others so many years ago, nor would one expect that Catralina would say the words that Jack needed to heal; that he should forgive himself 'for the others who have suffered in the wake of his life.' This much was obvious; the emotional bonds which connect all people should always run deeper and be stronger than the combination of any social, economic, or political boundaries.

"Interesting", he thought, "...one can more easily predict cause and effect as well as the range of unintended consequences in a controlled setting such as a science lab, although it is still difficult to do. Simple things like science experiments and technological inventions have a different difficulty factor to anticipate results and consequences by degree or degrees from those of complex human interactions.

As one approaches the speed of light, what happens to Plank time and how does the number of frames per second change, if at all? Time seems to advance more slowly during a crisis, or is the opposite true, and we humans are simply able to process more of the plank time frames that are always presented at a constant rate? There seems to be a connection between time and the way that our brains relate to time by the complexity of the events which affect us. This is similar to the idea that the difficulty in anticipating consequences is by degree or degrees higher as the complexity of the system; human interaction vs. controlled simple laboratory experiment. The reflexive idea would be equally true; that the more difficult that it is to predict anticipated results and consequences from an action, the higher complexity (less controllable) circumstances are involved.

There can be no dimension without a higher dimension. Intuitively and paradoxically, there cannot be a third dimension without a fourth. Higher dimensions orbit lower ones; they invisibly go about the 'x' to the 'y' to the 'z' axes as do electrons about their nuclei in structured energy levels at a distance certain from the nuclei according to their energy.

However lower dimensions can display higher dimension information, such as a hologram (3-D) projection from a two dimensional image. This is similar to 'exciting' an electron from it's 'at home' energy level to a higher energy level by introducing an energy source. When that excited electron returns to it's 'at home' state, it releases a quanta (packet) of electromagnetic (e.g. light) energy, say for example the mechanics and chemistry of a neon light bulb. That implies that dimension plus specific energy can yield 'dimension-plus-one' results or that information plus _specific_ energy in a 'n' dimensional is equal to information in 'n+1' dimension.

The specific nature of quantified energy is not a stranger in the life process itself. Photosynthesis uses sunlight plus water to strip away hydrogen atoms that attach to other molecules including carbon dioxide in what is known as the Calvin cycle to produce sugar for energy and structure, adenosine tri-phosphate (ATP), the energy molecule for plant and animal life, and oxygen gas as a byproduct.

The point is that at the base of our food chain, specific quanta of energy are used directly and indirectly to fuel life itself; even us. So if life is in the 'n+1' dimension and the energy is taken away from the information that keeps us there, then the information of us does not go away due to the absence of that energy, but resides within the 'n' dimension. In other words we live on as a permanent record ready to play at any time that the proper and specific energy is applied to the information of us; just like a hologram.

More importantly, it would be possible to minimize the randomness of human interaction by applying generally intuitive and unambiguous (specific) rules to follow; like the laws and definitions that govern mathematics and language. Certainly, there are laws in place now that provide some bone structure for our generalized social behavior and interactions, but by understanding the nature of the connections which Catralina described as 'random' one can design unobtrusive ways to bring more structure to life; said another way there is a simple solution to reduce the entropy (randomness) of life that will increase peace and harmony generally for everyone.

Jack realized that continuous education and continuous improvement are key, and a simple and very effective way to decrease entropy (add structure) to the connections which bind us would be for all of us to continually focus on the welfare of others; particularly those who are younger or less-skilled than ourselves.

Suddenly, Jack saw obvious connections between himself and Leven that were hidden.

Everything that we do or invent has intended consequences, unintended consequences, and more often than not, both.

Invention is the easiest for technology that increases entropy in our environment. For example it is easy to create a tool to chop a tree down but more difficult to make a machine which plants trees. Similarly, it is easier to make a nuclear bomb than to make a nuclear power plant. Just as biological evolution is fueled by energy introduced into the system (sunlight or thermal hot springs), ideas and inventions evolve similarly; usually in a predictable step after predictable step (as in the operation of a weaving machine led to the invention of the computer, or the need to save lives and cargo (accurate navigation on the high seas) led to the rise of increasingly accurate clocks and other navigational aids.

Sometimes though, just as an electron may be energized to jump, not to the next, but the next after energy level, both biological evolution and thoughts and technology are able to display 'quantum' leaps in complexity. For example; from hollow bones and feathers for land animals to controlled animal flight; and from a falling apple to Sir Isaac Newton's classical physical laws; and from Albert Einstein's thought experiments that led him to discover the foundations for quantum mechanics, general relativity and special relativity.

Technology has not always advanced more quickly than our collective ability to keep up, but it does now and it will continue to outpace our ability to keep up on an exponential basis for as long as advances are unbridled.

Therefore, there is a fundamental need for ethics to evolve from at least the science, philosophy, and social quarters in order to make constructive rather than destructive uses of technology that will not compromise our sustainable synergistic balance with the entirety of our ecosystem and our environment.

Without ethics to control science, science will make military weapons so complex that they will become too expensive and too deadly to use. Military weapons are easy to invent because they add entropy to the environment (it is easy to destroy and difficult to create or rebuild). Similarly medical machines and tools will become too complex and expensive for practical application to the general public unless we bypass the inadequate health care delivery system that has determined that we, the people are accurately measured by the value of our insurance policies and the money in our bank accounts to determine whether we should receive medical treatment; in other words put rules in place that determine equality among us all; each unique, within unique circumstances and all equal in value.

With the thought of invention complexity as a backdrop, Jack thought of simple transportation ideas that would intuitively save huge costs in lives and treasure. The key foundation of the transportation system is computer assisted spoke-and-hub framework, like FedEx uses for intra and intercity connections. Personal cars could connect with each other and with rail freight cars on key linkages and be able to disconnect and exit to other rails and roadways. Personal cars could run on electricity generated from solar panels on the train and by generators connected to the wheels when the train slows or stops.

Ultimate power would be coal from the locomotive engine which could run on conventional or bio-fuels. Trains would be miniature by today's standard say forty-percent as large and each train car would have a self-contained motor to move it around slowly within the region of its destination. Roads for cars would not be eliminated, but the bulk roadways, and highways which are a much higher cost to build and to maintain, would be eliminated or reused.

Residential subdivisions would be developed upon landscape made to look like an amorphous green bubble wrap from twenty thousand feet up, and they would be bounded by railway tracks with earthen sides that would be beautified with natural greenery and trees to hide the train and to minimize traffic noise. The tracks would allow appropriate cargo and personal transportation cars to exit down into each neighborhood.

The cargo would include groceries ordered by neighborhood residents and other retail as well as building equipment, materials and workers for new developments. Main telephone cables, electrical power cables and other utilities would largely be hidden from view by the earthen embankments to the train and run within the supports to the earthen wall and parallel to the railway tracks. Aside from no longer being the visual pollution that they are today, they would also be unexposed to weather threats and be easily maintained from the train way.

Trains would snake their way above and between the irregular patters of several residential areas below and then return to a local hub for detail reassignment. Jack thought about how this simple idea or new 'rule' if one wished to call it that would reduce the randomness of our social system by several degrees, save countless lives from the accepted butchery of our current transportation system and above all, bring peace and harmony to everyone as a direct consequence.

Another consequence of the new transportation infrastructure would be picturesque small communities bounded by natural and 'green' human-made infrastructure; not only the trains, but emergency vehicle traffic routes, parks, and natural reserves. Some of the advantages of having small communities side-by-side with multiple others in what may or may not be in a large complex (one would hardly know the difference from living there), would be homogeneity of values and customs relating to such things as abortion, religion, substance use, gambling, prostitution or other centric positions on politics, religion, etc. all peacefully coexisting with each other with a 'neutral zone' separating disparate groups and extra border socially harmonizing celebratory days displaying the best of diversity between them.

With a five-year political commitment to state's laws wherever one resides, there could be reciprocal moving costs for one to eventually move more proximate to his or her preferred legal and political environment. There would be no more gerrymandering for the political gains of representatives, but borders could swell or contract with free public mobility to the best environment that suits the individual. Diversity and tolerance would thrive, except in those isolated areas where their views of themselves made them feel superior to others as is currently the case for race, polygamists, lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transgender people and women. Their bigoted lifestyle would be discouraged by diminished social support or political equality by the perceived degree that they think others less valuable than themselves for whatever reasons conveniently present in their subjective view.

What lifestyle should not be accepted and fully supported?

This should be the fundamental question to ask when considering human rights and the answer should be any lifestyle that infringes on the equality of the full bundle rights that allow for peaceful coexistence or which reduces the potential for good faith, good will between other defined differently by any measure from their own, or which reduces the rights, the respect and or the value of individuals or groups within that group.

Our economic system is equally and fundamentally flawed; imagine this; someone who invents the first robot which can do everything which replaces human activity will reap the benefits of the entirety of national gross domestic product (GDP). While the scenario is debatable, it is not impossible in the sum of all histories, and importantly it demonstrates that the more a particular technology is intricately woven within the fabric of a socio-economic-political system, the greater the potential rewards for the inspired mind(s) who stood on the shoulders of others to take the next step in technological invention, or for those whose fertile imagination provided a quantum leap in some technology.

The point is that there is no ceiling for future economic gain from a singular idea to a single person or to a small group of people, which benefits us all but that is disproportionately beneficial for a few at the cost or political beholding of everyone else and with no foreseeable sunset.

We all play by rules, which do give some structure to the otherwise completely random bonds that tether us together but we can do much better. For example: Self work and self reward. These ill conceived rules are not only antiquated, have abused to benefit the most selfish among us, but offers little structure to the bonds between us over complete chaos, as in 'every man for himself'.

Jack recalled that Pamela once told him that success or failure for any culture or society is dependent on its ability to adapt to change or crisis. He recognized that the economic system that he and Leven and everyone else was subject to was based upon rules that allowed for unemployed workers, but that every unemployed worker was a double negative for society as a whole: There was no production by them, which would benefit everyone in the society or culture, while society would alternately be morally responsible or morally corrupt for whether that worker and his or her dependants would survive or thrive, which would drain resources from the gross domestic product (GDP) for everyone.

Not only is the current economic system less than perfect for macro reasons, but on an individual basis, unemployment takes huge personal tolls in the form of savings, friends, and family. Jack recalled a friend who had written to his state representative, 'I am selling all of my remaining stock at a substantial loss in order to pay bills for next month. I try to remain hopeful of finding something soon, but I also realize that amongst 40 – 80 applications for any particular job (typically) any individual's likelihood of getting the job is 1.25 - 2.5%. I don't take an umbrella with me if the forecast is 1.25 to 2.5% chance for rain. On the other hand, I have to be the positive counterbalance in my household. My wife borders on serious depression, but won't seek help.

She knows that I will have to sell my 401k at a 50% loss due to penalty by December or sooner. That will net something in the range of $3,000 to buy us more time to compete with others for the 1.25 to 2.5% chance of becoming employed. She won't hear of social services; that would be the ultimate insult to her pride.

I hope that you can understand how it feels playing this game when it's the only one in town. I think it a fundamental flaw in our economic system that willing and able workers, such as me are sidelined, but more than an economic flaw, it is a tragedy that people suffer rejection, friction among friends and family and emotional trauma for the experience.

Further insult is that penalty for borrowing against your 401k [annuity fund for retirement] in order to take your final gasp of economic air before going under for good.

Good luck in your re-election.'

Jack reasoned that for workers to be able to provide consistent and continuous employment for all, which would maximize GDP and the average standard of living for all, one could change the rewards rules to be based upon equality for all people, reinforced by rewards by benefit to others by the work of the individual, and equal rates of pay, with some special but temporary additional rewards given to those who fill specific critical industry needs when those job skills are required or new, and for innovative thinking which provided useful and positive outcomes for the society as a whole.

Collective projects would be in production to use the resources not needed by industry for the use of the general population or the trade with other nations. An added benefit would be that everyone would be able to continue training and education, and cross train in two or more active jobs in a job-sharing full time environment. The benefit would be a deepening of the security of our entire economy.

The singular and personal motivation of greed, which may be the closest thing to chaos, would be replaced by an altruistic one. The negative consequences to Pamela, Rachael, and Morgan's brother, Julian Cayne may not have happened if Leven was rewarded by his continuous improvement of us all, as we would all be instead of being rewarded by selfish efforts to benefit him and to fulfill the selfish demands of those who employed him. Leven could have easily been constructing or imagining something so inspiring that it would captivate the pride of people the world over... perhaps as did the Egyptian pyramids of their day.

Jack wondered if there was such a thing as an unemployment rate for able-bodied people over the decades that it took to build the pyramids in Egypt. Jack imagined a project on a scale that dwarfed the human achievement of the pyramids and which used current technology to make a 'green' operational machine / piece of art that the world would marvel at and travel to see, and help to drive the economy generally, all completed by people who would proud to be a part of the project and who would be otherwise poorer, unemployed discouraged, depressed, or worse.

Jack looked at the clock and knew that he needed sleep in order to keep up with the demands of the coming day. Happy for the hopeful thoughts, but frustrated that he was still awake, he rolled over, took a deep breath and held it for as long as he could, and then he slowly released it as he imagined his mind emptying into outer space.

#  Jack's Final Nightmare

Jack fell asleep and he began a dream; he and Pamela had just arrived at a movie theater in Paris to watch, "The Life of Diane". After purchasing tickets, they entered and became a part of a crowd of densely packed people. As they approached the doorway to the theater, they became separated by only a few inches, but Pamela was forced to go downstairs as Jack was forced to go upstairs.

Once the crowd began to thin, Jack made the shocking realization that instead of a movie theater, that this was hell and that the title of the movie was misunderstood; in fact it read, "The Life of Dying". Jack's heart was pounding as he worried about the fate of Pamela. Jack was turning back to head to the lower levels as a heavy man standing on a beam below him swung a four-foot long rip-saw and cut Jacks battle-wounded thigh. He held his leg together with his hands as he scampered toward the stairway.

When he managed to get to the lowest level, the building was ruinous with gaping holes in exterior walls and the floor was covered with dead and dying people and dismembered limbs two to three people deep. He was panicked and yelling for Pamela as he made his way through the morass. There were only a few people standing at the periphery of the building and some of them were urinating on the fallen bodies. He was still looking for Pamela in a more secure part of the building, but it had only dirt floors and there were people trying to sleep with their dirty blankets. Pamela was nowhere to be found as Jack carefully tiptoed passed those who were sleeping even while his leg was bleeding profusely.

At the approaching wall was a stairway leading back up and the handrail was lit up by sunlight from a window displaying the carved letter "K". A big and filthy man appeared near him a few steps up and offered his hand, but he was filthy, stinking, and wicked-looking. Jack just stood there for a moment on the stairs, unwilling to let go of his injured leg, but the man grabbed Jack by the arm and swung him up the stairs as he yelled, "Keit, I have him for you!" Jack noticed a train about a half-block away that was pulling away from the station. He didn't look back but ran for all he was worth while holding his leg together.

Jack was surprised that he managed to get on-board somehow jumping and still holding his thigh together, and when he looked behind him there was no one chasing him. He entered the train car door only to find a decaying woman's corpse on a short table. He pulled himself through a hatch to the roof of the car to escape the stench and flies. Once he felt safe and able to catch his breath, he heard someone in the distant countryside who yelled what sounded like, "Our evil ancestors have round brains."

Jack had no idea where the train was headed, but he needed to find Pamela. Just as he prepared to jump from the train to find her, he watched as the ground disappeared below a very high bridge. There was no choice now; he had to wait until he could safely disembark before looking for Pamela.

After a few minutes, the train slowed as it pulled over a wharf with a footbridge overlooking luxury yachts, some with their owners lounging on the decks. They were too far below for Jack to cry out to. Jack got down from train and entered the train station. He was alone inside, except for a baby girl who was unattended and sitting on the floor. Jack picked her up hoping to find safety for them both.

Suddenly, the floor fell to ruins and Jack was left standing on a wide structural metal beam holding his leg together with one hand and cradling the baby in his other arm. Jack's heart was pounding from the perilous situation and he held the baby tightly to his chest to protect her. Suddenly, the baby changed into an ugly demon with a gaping mouth and serrated teeth and growled threateningly at Jack. Jack reflexively dropped the little demon and it fell to the ground far below and out of sight.

Somehow, Jack made it to the ground, only to find that Keit was waiting for him as he finished climbing down a long metal ladder. Keit was holding the baby that Jack had dropped. She had died from the fall and no longer appeared to be a demon. There was a short flight of concrete stairs nearby and Jack dashed toward them as best he could, but he was exhausted and beaten, and he fell onto them, unable to move any further.

Laying there motionless in pain and defeat, he waited for the wrath of Keit and for the end of his life. After a moment of silence, Jack realized that Keit was gone. He slowly raised his head and saw before him, the hazy image of me, his mother Dharma. I had died at his birth.

I stood alone just a few feet in front of the top of the concrete steps where Jack still lay bloody and beaten and then I said, "I have come to save you, daughter. You will soon be safe at home and I will replace you. You have been betrayed by me. Your entire life is about betrayal, the first betrayal was my death at your birth, and delivering your body as a boy in spite of your feminine mind. Your final betrayal is your death. Betrayal was necessary from beginning to end in order to save those you love; those you know and those you do not know at all. Soon, you will forget the pain and find safety in a world that could only exist with your help to create it."

Jack woke up startled by the imagery of his dream and he was ashamed of himself for dreaming that he was supposed to have been born as a girl. Suddenly, Jack wondered if it could be true that his mind was feminine. 'It could be!' she admitted to herself. "What if I was betrayed by my body at birth?" she thought. Jack got up and took a shower, and then she shaved her face as close as she could, and then she shaved her arms and legs. It took her a great deal of time and trepidation, but finally she stood before a mirror and looked at herself closely and for the first time and she smiled. Still, she could not tell anyone, for no one would understand her. No one would notice her arms and legs; they would be safely hidden under her long sleeves and pants.

'Oh God!' she said out loud, "why now?" She knew that she could not hang on to living with new and urgent questions about herself, but suddenly she became terrified that she would be remembered as 'he', and as 'Jack' and whomever attends her death or sees her naked body will see the abomination that has betrayed the true person that she is.

Rachael, she was the baby who turned evil and who Jack dropped in her dream and then fell to her death and who was then cradled in the arms of Keit, the man who threatened Jack's life. Jack remembered that Rachael had a stake in the death of her mother, as did she and so many others. She realized that as much as we make plans to improve ourselves and the lives of others with whom we interact, there are always the unintended consequences that can turn love into fear or hope into a nightmare.

Jack got fully dressed, except for her shoes and lay across her bed with her hands folded across her chest. She just lay there with eyes wide open and looked back into her history to recall the signs that she _should_ have seen but did not. She cried tears that fell into her ears as she realized how lonely she would always feel from that moment onward.

It would be nine o'clock AM soon and time for Jack to be with Rachael. She needed to be strong for her daughter and for her deceased wife, Pamela whose funeral was today.

#  Pamela's Funeral

Jack got up just before nine o'clock AM, noticing how it felt to have clothing over her bare arms and legs. She felt as though she needed to eat something, but all that she could manage was a half of a glass of water. She walked to the hospital, thinking that if she were born true to her gender, that she would not have been wounded in the war, although there would be no way to determine what her life would be like today had she been socialized according to her gender.

How ironic it seemed when she realized that she was about to visit her comatose daughter and mourn the loss of her wife; two people who would likely never have known Jack if her name was 'Jacqueline'. If her mother really knew her gender, as she did in the previous night's dream, she would have called her, Jacqueline.

She was wrong and she was right, of course. I knew her gender, but Jack was the persona that she needed for the sake of others. I might have otherwise named her, Jacqueline, but I cannot be sure; a more likely name would have been Friedricha.

Jack paused at the doorway to Rachael's room for a moment to honor her. Rachael was a beautiful person and she graced the lives of those around her. Jack thought softly to herself, "She is not my daughter in any way that is similar to saying that an inanimate object might be mine; something owned. She is unique to the world and I just happened to be honored to be her parent."

Jack sat down in the chair next to her bed and rested her cane upon the metal safety rail of Rachael's bed. For the first time in five days, since the attack upon Pamela and Rachael, Jack was separated from the ceaseless questions concerning the thoughts and actions of others which led to this moment, right here and right now.

There was the sound and rhythm of Rachael's breathing to acknowledge that her body was alive, but she was absent nonetheless. Jack placed her hand over Rachael's hand so that they both might feel safe from the uncertainty of both of their futures while being united in the memory of Pamela's life. This was Pamela's day and she would be proud to see Jack and Rachael weathering this worst family tragedy together.

Jack regretted making plans to meet with Leven; this is where she wanted to stay until Rachael would spring back to life, or until Jack would simply disappear into some ether to remove any trace that she had ever been alive. "Odd", she thought, "that in the first moments beginning to understanding who I am that I contemplate having never existed."

Out of the blue, it dawned upon her that she still had not spoken to Megan about her father's attorney, Paul Montgomery. Jack had managed to forget to follow up on her estranged father's final plans! Jack was ashamed that she would have to tell Megan so late in all of the events that were playing out that she was needed for yet another task. Jack considered sparing her the trouble and calling Paul herself, but she could not deal with the added responsibility and guilt of her father's passing to the complex concoction of issues already in her head. Jack would mention to Megan later before their meeting with Leven that she needs her to call Paul.

The idea that there were more issues to deal with and that they interrupted this sacred time for her family was momentarily too much for her and she wept alone with her head on Rachael's bed. Soon after, Jack grabbed her cane and stood just a little too fast; the blood rushed from her head and she sat back down with a thud. She was weak emotionally and physically and she needed to move slowly just in order to make her way to the restroom without feinting.

Jack felt better after eating a cookie and having some juice, but she still felt ill. It was afternoon now and Pamela's funeral had been going on for over an hour. Jack thought about how lonesome she would be soon when all of the urgency and fussing was over. She remembered a passage from Marsha Daniels letter to Rachael, "I have come home to die. A new spring is here to signal my final season. My room grows dimmer and quieter every day. I painfully walk through narrowing halls deeper and deeper into the night when I dream."

Jack shook off her selfish thoughts to stay positive and supportive to Rachael and to the memory of Pamela. How upsetting it was for her to need to do that! This was the day and the time for her to stay completely focused on her family, who needed her.

Jack spoke out loud, "Rachael, your mother, Pamela understood most things with her heart even more than most could with their ears and eyes. She was patient, kind, caring and most compassionate. You learned from her how to view things from another's perspective and to walk in someone else's shoes to feel compassion. That is a gift more valuable than words alone can say. She, like you is a diamond in the sand. Rachael, try to feel what it is like to be wrapped by her presence; her voice so soothing, her touch so gentle and her patience and persistence to understand unwavering. You are very fortunate to have such a loving mother!

She made me understand that there are depths to reality and she made me feel grounded and in harmony with natural rhythms of our surroundings. I like to think that I could completely understand her and I greatly admired her and appreciated her, but I also feel that she knew me better than I knew myself. Your mother is someone that others gravitated to and were in orbit about. Not so dissimilar from you, Rachael. Those who know her best love her the most and will describe her in the most admiring terms for the rest of their lives. She is as beautiful inside as she is from the outside.

I remember when she saved your life while I could not. You were only eight-years-old when you had fallen from a horse that was spooked by something. Your head hit something hard when you fell and it fractured your skull. I was unable to carry you because of my leg that was wounded in the war, but your mother, who is not particularly strong, carried you for at least the length of a football field to the car and drove us to the hospital for you. She was selfless in her sense of duty to others and a hero to both of us.

Your mother is a hero, Rachael. She was killed during her attempt to save you from your fate even after sustaining serious cuts and burns while trying to save someone else from the burning car that you witnessed just before you were attacked."

Suddenly the room began to swell with people returning from the funeral. There were many hugs and prayers and words of support from Pamela's friends, colleagues and their spouses and families. A nurse had been paying attention and helped to disperse the crowd after about forty-five minutes in order to keep Rachael safe in the event of an emergency. When most of them left, the nurse asked Jack if she would like a salad and some soup from the cafeteria and she said, "Yes" and thanked her for her kindness.

Jack was alone with Rachael as she finished her soup and salad, and then Morgan arrived with Anna, Paige, Julien, Emaile, as well as Monica Lancaster, who was Morgan's previous girlfriend and Sonia Whitman, who was the late Benny Prestor's girlfriend.

Jack knew the names of Monica and Sonia; they were the people who came forward to police to disclose information regarding the death of Pamela and the injury of Rachael. Jack rose, and with the help of her cane she walked over to Sonia and hugged her, saying how much it meant to her that she came and she gave her condolences for the tragic loss of her boyfriend, Benny. Next, Jack turned to Monica and Monica burst into tears as she very emotionally and genuinely expressed her sorrow for Jack's loss of Pamela and the state of Rachael's health. Jack hugged her and thanked her for coming and then she stood back from her but held her shoulder as she said, "My friend Catralina had some words for me that may be of some comfort to us all; "Forgive yourself now for the people who have suffered in the wake of your life just as you are trying so desperately to forgive those whose wakes have radically changed your life as well as the lives of those you love"".

I have discovered that we can all find guilt within ourselves for the bad things that happen in our lives and that the best that we can do sometimes falls short of our own hopefulness, if not disappointment to ourselves and to others. We are all equal and I am happy for the support of everyone who has come forward for Rachael and for the memory of Pamela's and Benny's life. Monica spoke up, "I misjudged Rachael once upon a time", and then as she walked towards her she continued, "but I respect her deeply now", and while caressing Rachael's head with her hand continued, "I am grateful for her and for me that you are her father, Jack."

Jack walked to the other side of Rachael's bed from Monica and placed her hand over Monica's hand and she started to tear up saying, "If only she would open her eyes and be with us again..."

It was four o'clock and Megan arrived as promised with her briefcase full of paperwork for Jack to sign. Jack produced her own briefcase of all of her notes and papers from her apartment so that Megan could keep them protected along with her last will and testament. They walked to a small patient waiting area to do the signing and Jack gave Megan her briefcase adding that there is a telephone number for Paul Montgomery, her father's attorney and that she should call him tomorrow regarding the final wishes of Warren, her father.

The two of them quickly rejoined the others for a short while, and then they announced that they would be leaving for an hour or two for a meeting. Morgan knew that the meeting was to be with Leven, but he held his tongue.

#  I Will Not Be Your Enemy Until I Try To Become Your Friend First

Leven spoke first when Megan and Jack entered the room, "Jack and Megan, thank you for coming." Megan reached out and shook the hand of Leven's attorney, Gabriel Sheridan as Jack shook Leven's hands, which were still cuffed, and then she shook Gabriel Sheridan's hand as she asked that the handcuffs be removed from Leven. Gabriel called to the guard waiting outside and the guard came in and complied as everyone took their chairs.

Gabriel started the meeting stating the same conditions which applied to their previous meeting and that this meeting could not exceed two hours. Surprising to everyone, Jack stood up as if she were ready to leave but with her hands still supporting her on the table between them and she looked into Leven's eyes and said, "Leven, I was with Rachael in the hospital all day, even as Pamela's funeral was taking place." Jack sat back down and she continued, "I wanted to be there because I thought that Pamela would want me to be supporting our daughter and I thought that I could share our own celebration of Pamela's life together. I haven't been sleeping well and I didn't sleep well last night either, which may have contributed to the fact that I disappointed myself that I was unable to stay focused while I was with Rachael. I have to say that it crossed my mind that I regret accepting this meeting with you today, and yet I know why I am here; despite my desire to be with friends and family who are waiting for me to return to Rachael's bedside, and as much as I want to fix blame on someone and call it the truth and move on, I know that you don't belong in jail any more than I do.

Yesterday I met a beautiful elderly woman, someone who is a friend of Rachael's. At the end of our conversation, she let me know her husband's name who happened to be one of the one-hundred people killed when I unleashed the torpedo that hit his destroyer. There is no end to the unintended consequences of our actions."

Leven broke in, "Jack, you know that I regret what has happened and I am truly sorry for what I have done, but I want you to know that you did something for me at our last meeting that no one else could have done; you showed me that there is little difference between me and someone I have come to respect; you and you gave me hope for myself to become a better person and to move on from here when you said, "You might have been a climate expert and a force to be reckoned with in saving our planet. It is difficult to imagine a destiny more important than to attain and then sustain equilibrium with our environment."

I see you differently than I suspect others who meet under these horrible circumstances, and I know that you are different from most who are victims of crime. I need you to know that I feel differently about myself." Jack answered, "Thank you for saying that, and I know that you mean it, but I had selfish reasons for coming here too.

Let me explain some things that I have learned from you; I have come to understand that early economic investment in people is required for education, marriage, childbirth, child care, daycare, housing and health insurance; all at a time when young workers are typically paying off student loan debt and credit debt with high interest and penalties, just to adjust to the normal cycle of life under this current economic system.

Everyone who stops for a moment to think about it realizes that, in general, life does not come at such a hectic pace in later years, when workers have been able to add salary raises and other investments and money to their savings and are able to plan ahead to help their children with some of their own anticipated 'up-front' costs, as well as plan for the time when they will no longer be able to work for a living.

This system seems workable for a while, as long as the rates of increase in expenses for essential items, including health and education and other services do not long out-pace the rate of increase in wages and other household benefits. What is missing that would help to make more of us successful, is the use of our economy of scale to fund needs as they occur.

If society made it generally less of an economic burden to live in the formative years of education, career development, and family growth, and later recover those costs during the mid-career years of highest earning potential, then several things could happen:

1. Young idealistic minds would feel unencumbered to explore the range of their interests and ability to play a role with like-minded others to find solutions and achieve common goals.

2. Young people would look for and find partners which suit them best for the challenges that everyone faces by living every day, and for setting goals for their future, without the fear that one or neither of them would be without resources to achieve success if only they do their best.

3. Educational institutions would fill with bright-eyed students who, with purpose, immerse themselves in the education which benefits them best and which conversely, serves us all by maximizing their personal ability and talent to the tasks at-hand and for society's goals at large.

4. Young people will understand the gift to them by others who are in prime years of earning and will gratefully accept their challenge to do the same for their younger brothers and sisters, thereby continuing the invisible chain that binds generation to generation; neither will the elderly feel abandoned by those younger than they, for everyone will feel the brotherly and sisterly connection that defies time."

I am talking about you, Leven and I am sorry to rant, but please allow me to continue... please.

Educational policy always strives for competition at any price just as our economic system is based upon self-serving and competitive motives. Many of us, including myself were pushed into engineering, math and science, while it is wrong to push at all; it is wrong because it directs human development.

Humans, individually and collectively need to evolve to provide the broadest spectrum and the best of the broadest spectrum of the human experience. Arts and science should not be any different in preference, nor should architecture, philosophy, music, history and all of the traditional and imagined future human interests." Jack was thinking of her wish to learn and teach social ethics regarding science and technology.

I have been a teacher long enough to have learned that there are limits to the benefits of teaching in the ways that we do. The fact is that most of us can teach someone who has less experience than ourselves. Even as children, we should be mentoring others and we should grow up to become mentoring adults. I am not talking about everyone working full-time as a teacher; I am talking about making our fellow human beings know that we understand and truly care about their education and encourage their _active_ learning.

Not only does learning become a permanent part of one's life, but the act of caring for others to learn is socially reinforcing as well. Leven, I know that it may sound strange that someone should feel guilty about the mistreatment of someone whom we have had no contact with but the fact is that we _all_ should feel the way that I do, that I am sorry for letting you down. None of us chooses our gender, our parents, our race, our health, or any other parameter that you can think of when we are born. All of us are equal, so each of us has a duty to feel compassion for and to have a personal stake in helping each other in the spirit of continuous improvement for each other and for all of us collectively. Does that make sense?"

Leven was speechless at first, and then he said, "I was impressed with you when we met the first time and I am in lock-step with the thoughts and ideas that you have; even more, I am humbled by your selflessness in asking me to forgive you for the events in my life which have led me here."

Jack said, "I told Morgan that I will not be your enemy until I try to become your friend first. You may or may not consider me as your friend but I am not your enemy and I have you to thank for helping me to understand you. I have to leave to be with Rachael again soon, but I have to tell you that you are not my only concern, I am concerned, and as I think that we should all be for our children."

Jack continued, "Generations beyond our own will need to have far-sightedness, greater than any here-to-for, in order to keep the world safe and habitable; for as fast as changes happen for us, the rate of change will continue to increase unless we can gain control. That day may never come, but it may be our only hope for survival of the species. How can we gain control? The answer can come only from life-long learning.

It will be our children and subsequent generations who will have the responsibility to see that our world is a bit better off than when they got here. We must depend on our young people in school today to deal with some very challenging problems facing them and the rest of our world. They will be the ones responsible for finding solutions to enormous practical, ethical and moral questions and problems that face us all as individuals, as citizens of our country, and as citizens of the Earth. The magnitude of the problems at hand and in the foreseeable future is unprecedented. They affect the survivability of our species and of our planet.

The ways our youth face the challenges ahead may redefine how we, as a nation, view the world and ourselves. They will be charged with finding the solutions for frightening socially transmitted diseases, a breakdown in the durability of the American family and fundamental flaws in our way of life; not to mention uncontrolled population and continued pollution of our environment, something that I know resonates with you.

It is our children who will deal with global climate change; answer ethical and moral questions concerning human cloning, and so many more questions that science and research will perplex most of us as we have never been confronted with in the past. They will answer political questions that may change our perception of ourselves as a nation.

Our children in school today will be the first to deal with the probability that increasing numbers of us will have access to weapons that can kill or manipulate huge numbers of people. Our children in school today may be the first in our collective history to have to deal with overpopulation, both domestic and abroad. With the Internet and global travel, our children need to accept diversity of all kinds and embrace the benefits of a diverse national and global population. It is our children who will have to struggle with the ethical and moral questions of a new era in growth in technology equaled only by the exponential growth rate of our population... even while the social fabric beneath their feet continues to change.

They have little time, compared to previous generations to make significant strides in achieving success to the ills of the world and of our country. So far, we have ill prepared them. We have wasted a lot of time and money looking in all of the wrong places to make substantive changes in our educational system. In addition, we have made it clear to young and old that our children do poorly compared to students in other industrialized countries of the world. While the information is important to distribute in order to deal with the problem, we should also be sensitive to how that information is processed by our youth. It is not our children who have failed. We, as a society, have failed our children. Each of us can say then as I do, that I have failed you and I am sorry.

Popular consensus should always be that the youngest generation will be the greatest generation because they have the most potential to learn from those who have already learned the most. The 'greatest generation' is always the youngest, and the youngest generation should always be taught that early on in order to inspire them to make the next generation greater than their own."

The room was silent for a moment and Jack was embarrassed and she apologized for dominating the conversation, and then she whimpered an emotional tear. She wiped it away and then she looked over at Gabriel and said, "I have been involved in something like 'witness protection'; you may have noticed the FBI hanging around here recently. I am afraid that Leven will be in danger wherever he is incarcerated. Leven is not the root of evil here, but his associates are. I will argue for Leven to be protected in a witness protection program in return for his complete disposition and public testimony revealing his former colleagues and employers." Gabriel responded with, "Thank you, Jack. You will be happy to know that Leven has already committed himself to answering all of the prosecution's questions to the best of his ability and has agreed to testify against those who were involved in illegal activity." Leven added, "It is the very least that I can do to help you and me to start over."

Jack smiled at Leven, and then she said, "You are right, that is the _least_ that you can do. Please, make your destiny the _best_ that it can be while keeping in mind those others who need your compassion and your help too. I will do the same. By the way, friend or not, I am proud of you."

Jack arose from her chair and walked around the table to shake Gabriel's hand again and then she asked Leven to stand and then she hugged him and told him that everything will be alright. Megan held the door open as the two of them left and the guard went inside. Jack heard Leven exclaim, "Thank you, Jack" as the door was closing.

When Megan and Jack got into her car together, Megan said, "Jack, you are a hopeless idealist, but you are a wonderful man." Jack corrected her, "I am just a person", she said.

Megan offered her condolences and promised to call Warren's attorney, Paul Montgomery in the morning and let Jack know what was happening regarding her father's funeral as she dropped her back off at the hospital to see Rachael.

Jack thanked her for the ride and admitted that she was mentally struggling with keeping up with events and said that she appreciated and would never forget Megan's hard work and dedication.

#  Rachael Died

Jack was tired and hungry. It was about seven thirty when she arrived at Rachael's room. As Jack entered the room, Morgan angrily yelled, "You ass!" as he struck her on her face with his fist and then he continued, "How could you leave your own daughter and me in order to be pals with her murderer when we needed you the most?"

Morgan stormed out of the room and Anna and Paige ran after him to calm him down. Monica and Emaile remained. It was then that Jack noticed that the sheet on Rachael's bed was pulled over her head. Rachael was gone! Jack fell to her knees on the hard floor and Monica caught her before her face hit the floor too. Jack was crying uncontrollably and Monica told her that she would not be alone, that she will help her through this as best she could.

Monica and Emaile helped Jack to stand and to come to the side of Rachael. Once there, Jack said, "I am sorry that I wasn't here for you and Morgan, baby girl. You and your mother will be in my heart forever, I promise!" Jack was crying as she leaned over Rachael and hugged her for the last time.

Emaile said, "Morgan didn't mean to hit you and doesn't blame you. He just feels bad." Jack agreed, and added, "I understand how Morgan feels. Morgan is my family, and I love him." Jack added, "Thank you for saying that to me Emaile and thank you both for being here to help me. Now forgive me, but I need to go home and rest for a while. Rachael is in good company while she is with the two of you. Please stay in touch with me."

With that, Jack walked through the rain to her apartment, hardly aware of the rain at all. When she arrived at her door, it was stuck and she had to hit the door a little with her hip in order to jar it open. She noticed the smell of natural gas as she flipped on the light switch; it was already too late.

#  A Gift to Love that is Stronger than Death

Rachael was removed from her world at the time when her greatest potential reward had presented itself. She arrived in front of me, holding in her hands, her baby girl, Leigh who would have been the pride and joy of her life, Morgan's life as well as a breath of new life to her own parents, Jack and Pamela; if only she and Leigh, and Pamela had not died. I know about the what-ifs. I did not kill her, but I did seize her from her world.

"Rachael, welcome to life after the before life. There will be no welcoming throngs of well-wishing loved ones who have come here before you, only me." Rachael opened her eyes wide to see me, Dharma, her father's mother who had died while giving birth to Jack. "Yes, I am your grandmother, but I am also the Curator of History. Welcome granddaughter!" I said as I wrapped my arms around her and her baby. Rachael knew from the start that she was safe in my company.

She told me that she knew that her father, Jack never knew his mother but that _his_ father, Warren spoke to Jack of me often as the most loving, caring and intelligent person that he had ever known. She knew that Jack's father lit a candle at the dinner table each evening in my honor and often told Jack that I hoped and prayed that he would be interested and proficient in mathematics and in the sciences.

"Your father, Jack and your fiancé' Morgan feel the pain of the broken hearts in their families left in the wake of the tragic deaths of you and your mother." Rachael learned only then that her mother had passed on and that Morgan had planned to propose to her. "Rachael, soon we will be able to use their grief to change a misguided history and prevent a calamitous fate for two worlds. There is no need for you to grieve for your mother, for she cannot imagine being happier or feeling more fulfilled."

"For the same reasons that, those you have left behind, share a painful vacuum in your absence– you possess a trait in abundance that many find a rarity, Rachael. You have a gift to love that is stronger than death and an infinite capacity for compassion that is crucial for saving creations' greatest gift – the rare gift of life in the great void of space. We can do this by correcting an historical aberration that, if unchecked, will continue a spiraling decay of the fabric of both worlds, into which life is woven." Rachael responded dumbfounded, "Aberration... what aberration?"

"Rachael, both universes were born from one and include similar – parallel laws that information has to obey in order for creation to happen. Small disparities occur often in both universes, but the affects usually cancel each other out. The stability of both is threatened only if a sudden and very large change occurs in one and not the other, or if a small aberration in one creates a chain-reaction in events that leads to significant differences or inequalities. This is because the existence of each is dependent on the symmetry of both. Without this symmetry, one or both universes may collapse into meaningless bits of information."

Rachael responded, "Oh, my goodness, but you sound like my father." I added, "I know that this is a bit out of your normal areas of interest, you rarely saw your father as an interesting person. Indeed, it is your father's life which serves as the hinge binding both universes. Her life has been one of betrayal from the start. I have betrayed her and I have manipulated her world in order to sow the seeds which can save one universe and which will be the hope to save the universe from which you came. I can only have female children, but I had to bear Jack into a male body in order for her to perform the tasks that I demanded from her. She has only recently realized the fact that she is indeed a woman and she is about to die in order to secure the destiny of my plan; but the destiny of my plan includes your voluntary cooperation too."

Rachael replied, "I don't understand... my father is a woman? I am confused. I am crying as I remember my family and friends and feeling their sense of loss about me. The violence that was my last taste of life seems to be the most remote of the feelings within me. Dharma, I had a wonderful life, new promising relationship with a wonderful boy and a baby to look forward to. I don't see how my experience can be helpful in binding two worlds in two different universes. I am uncertain of my ability to help anyone, Dharma; why me?"

I replied, "You needn't be wary of your inexperience. Your heart and your intuition will carry you; just stay calm and focused. You have the necessary ingredient; you are who you are. I have been watching for you, Rachael and I know you as well as I know your father. I have been waiting for you. That is how you found me as you ascended here. We will engage the task at hand and we can persevere, but time is of the essence and we must use it wisely.

I will need to leave you here with your baby soon, but only for a while. Before I leave, I need to teach you some things here that will make you feel at home, as well as some rules. You will adapt quickly to understanding the nature of your new world here and the love that you have for your family and for your fiancé will serve as a conduit through which the power of change can flow; that is your ability, so no need to worry.

Importantly now, I want you to appreciate your father for the wonderful person that _she_ is and what she has done and the sacrifices that she has made for the benefit of everyone because I need for you to help me to save her."

Rachael replied, "Of course, I will do anything to help save my father, but you are right, I rarely if ever thought his interests were interesting to me. He tried to help me to understand, I suppose that it was his effort for us to have more in common and to feel closer, but I always had more 'important' things to concern myself with and he never pushed me. Actually, the problem between us wasn't a matter of respect or age, for I have always admired him, but he was too passionate about those things that held no interest to me. I know that my father would agree; love between a father and his daughter is no less strong because of dissimilar minds."

"Rachael, I want you to think about your father for a moment and try to answer 'what kind of person _she_ was' in the context of other people whom you have known." Rachael answered, "I see what you mean, and I didn't mean to be disrespectful by using improper pronouns to describe her. I remember my father, from early childhood in San Diego as a skeptical optimist. He, I mean 'she' would stress about there being too many people becoming too dependent upon technology, although she was also a technology advocate who thought science would ultimately solve most of the world's problems.

She had reverence for mathematics as a language that would, someday, bring into view the inner-workings of the universe, and I would think that she was crazy for saying that. She also appreciated nature unaffected by humankind, as much as anyone could. One of her favorite songs predated her by a generation, "Don't Fence Me In". She dreamt of starting an under-water society that lived in harmony of life in the Sea... she loves the Sea. Her love of mathematics and science was only slightly greater than her appreciation of history."

"Rachael, your father played an instrumental role in World War II. I know that history has never appealed very much to you, but you have studied about World War II and you have seen documentaries on television?"

"Yes, of course."

"The incident that resulted in cascading of differing historical events and a schism that created a parallel universe occurred when your father was both alive and dead."

"Rachael, in your world, Germany lost the war, but they won the war in the mirrored universe. A captured German U-boat, during the war, revealed a highly sophisticated message encrypting device, known as the 'Enigma Cipher Machine', to the Allied forces. The Allies were careful in their use of this intelligence so as not to arouse too much suspicion by the German forces. As a result, the Germans never suspected that their security had been breached and the Allies were able to interpret German military plans for years. Ultimately, they defeated the Germans in their homeland.

Ironically, the Allies victory began with open democracy and gave way to a divisive 'Cold War' between the former Allies and an eventual takeover of government responsibilities by mostly American global corporations; even while preserving a façade of democracy pretending to cater to the interests of the people. Instability there, in your former world is increasing from a large number of quarters, including social, political and environmental."

In the sum of all histories, one exists in the outcome of that horrible war where the hard-line German occupation of the world gave way to open democracy and a renaissance of world stability which endured. Jack's entire life was designed to attain that history and we can save her to enjoy a full life unencumbered by her puppeteer; me. I need your help, Rachael. I need to leave here to help your father or she will die as if she were never born at all. We both owe it to her to keep that from happening." "Will she come here and be with me?" Rachael asked. "No, neither of you will be here, but you will live on in the universe which was not possible before your father made it so."

I continued, "Love is a binding force that diminishes when there is less than – what I'll describe as a critical mass. Most make the transition from life as they knew it to their new reality and briefly remember those they have left behind. It is precious few who, like you, have the ability to remain connected to their former world and, thus, the potential to intervene in the course of future events that could prevent the destruction of both universes.

As soon as I leave here, day will be year or year will be day as soon as you imagine it. You can stay focused on what your family needs and be patiently waiting for my summons, or you could become distracted by your own active imagination and forget the purpose which will make your father's future possible." and then I introduced Rachael to a kettle drum shaped mirrored device that I call the 'Time Parser' which would allow her to witness the present of the world from which she was taken, as well as to navigate through time by moving her hands about the sides.

"You will be able to witness and hear the actions of people you know as well as others but you must not use this. I cannot be here to watch over you so I must trust you. If the time shall ever present itself, your daughter, or I will teach you. Remember, you are an apprentice and I am warning you not to attempt to make any changes to the thought processes of anyone. You do not understand the process of thought entanglement and you must respect the fact that you could become lost without understanding and then there would be no hope for your father. Even more importantly, you must keep my baby, Leigh from viewing the kettle until I am back to teach her, she has natural skills well beyond your own. She will take my place, when I take your father's place."

"But, grandmother, she is _my_ baby girl! I will not hand her over to take your place." I explained, "Rachael, she is not your baby girl, she is my great-granddaughter. Even as Jack's life was manipulated as by a puppeteer, so were the lives affected by hers, including yours. Don't worry, you will have your baby, if we can save her; her name is Jack now, but she will be born Marlena as you will name her. I know that this all seems confusing, but you need to trust me.

Know this; your father was a hero, now she has become something even greater. Her spirit will be born again in the second Renaissance that we will help to bring about because of her actions and her thoughts from the world where she currently languishes. I will explain more when you and Jack are ready to witness the dawning of your history together. The time is now, she needs me. It is your time to stay focused. Are you ready to help me, Rachael?"

"Grandma, my father was fond of nautical history and I am reminded of a quote from an ancient explorer, Ferdinand Magellan in 1520 that she taught me to remember; 'The Sea is dangerous and its storms are terrible. But these obstacles have never been sufficient reason to remain ashore... Unlike the mediocre, intrepid spirits seek victory over those things that seem impossible...It is with an iron will that they embark on the most daring of all endeavors...to meet the shadowy future without fear and conquer the unknown'" I responded, "That's pretty profound a quote coming from your soon-to-be little girl. She is also fond of this quote by Winston Churchill from World War II: 'Never, Never, Never quit.' Rachael smiled.

I added, "She doesn't even know how her life and the life of two worlds hang in the balance because of her compassion, love, and her altruism. Time is continuous in discrete quantities in both universes. The past is no different from the present or the future, but we will look into a new future together which could not have been made possible without Jack.

For now, just be aware that you are safe and trust that I will be back for you. You need to keep your world small for now so time won't spiral away from you. Before I go, close your eyes and take three steps back. Take your time, but think for a while about what you are standing on. You will discover that this exercise will help you to assimilate to your new reality. When you feel ready, reflect on your loved ones and those who are close to you. Stay focused; your thoughts and feelings about them will help me to better understand their personalities. I need to leave you now to take care of other important things, but I will be back and I will be in touch with your thoughts while I am away."

Rachael asked, "Are you saying that my friends and family will play a role in this 'intervention'?" "Yes, Rachael and the only way to have confidence of a positive outcome is to understand the nature of the people who will be the force for change in order for their world to become more like the one that you and Marlena will be enjoying. Right now, I am placing my confidence with you. Trust me!"

I left and Rachael was alone in her timeless world, but I could still hear her thoughts; "I don't feel alone at all. I wish that everyone would know that they are not without my love. Feet are standing on... hmm. Orientation doesn't seem to be important. Dharma was right; my world is whatever my imagination will make of it. I do feel as if I am connected somehow to others, although I don't understand _how_."

A world was born to her where imagination defined reality... _her_ imagination. Size, color, texture and tone were no longer limited by canvas that she used to paint on. She could open her eyes and see as far as she cared to. She quickly recalled my warning and realized that most who arrive in this place soon forget the world that they once knew.

Rachael was skipping on the footbridge over a small stream to a beautiful little cottage that she would call home. She could hear birds singing in the afternoon sun. "Oh yeah, this feels right.

Dharma, I know you can still hear me, at least I feel that you can. I will stay calm and focused, as you suggested to me and I will try to never disappoint you. I am going to sit in the swing under that old tree, close my eyes to this new world and tell you about my family and friends, as you have asked me.

If only my dad could know how my love for her has grown since I died. It seems as though I must have two hearts that love her now. Just as she is my father, so will she be my daughter, and just as I am her daughter, so will I be her mother... just as you are. This might be confusing if it weren't true, but love displaces the confusion and binds us all together.

#  Jack Was On Fire

The light bulb was filled with napalm and the fire ignited the gas from the line which was disconnected from the kitchen stove. Jack was on fire and unconscious from the subsequent explosion as soon as she flipped the light switch, but she was instantly dreaming.

In her dream, Jack awoke to find that she was alone; abandoned with only her wallet and the clothes on her back. She was too weak to move, yet she summoned enough of her strength to find that she had an eight-hundred dollar bill that would suit her needs for now, still in her possession. She did not know from whence she came; only that she was helpless, but in the safe company of a large and very well-to-do family of adults; they were people she had yet to meet and she was on a blanket on the wooden floor behind a couch in the living room. No one had noticed that she was awake yet. Even in her confused state of mind she could tell that none of them seemed to be seriously concerned about her heath or welfare though; indeed, she could sense that some of them seemed to feel that she was an unproductive burden to them all.

There was something even more unsettling in the air, a sense that beyond the safety of the sheltering home was a loss of civility, evil, chaos, anarchy, fear, and death. She may be safe for the moment, but she knew that she would have to prove herself worthy in order to survive in such an inhospitable environment. From where she lay, she seized her opportunity when she saw a young man tying some objects together with nylon cording. He could not hold the cord taught while making the knot and he could not seem to breathe without coughing. Jack called to him to ask his name and then she asked him to help her up in order to show him a knot that she learned in the navy that would do the job.

All the while, a fierce fire had been raging through her apartment building, in spite of the rain, and smoke had filled her lungs. Jack awoke from her dream to glimpse two firefighters who had arrived to rescue her. They carried Jack between them down one flight of stairs and out to a canvas strewn on the lawn. Jack assured them that she would be fine in the fresh air and to help the others who might still be inside, but they could not hear her, she only had the strength to think the words.

Alone in the yard, with flashing lights and radio communications filling her senses, but no pain, she reached into her pocket to see that she had survived with the clothes on her back and her wallet in her pocket... and nothing more. She knew that the fire would consume the only valued remnants of her life, the photos, letters, and cards. Morgan was the only remaining history of her from a life and family that she seemed to herself, to be a small part thereof. Even her wallet betrayed her identity as 'Male'. Jack felt able to survive but she knew that her life was over.

As the first ambulance had arrived, Jack stood up and looked for her cane, but it was nowhere to be found. She stumbled away into the lonely darkness. She was ready to give in to her impulse to end it all. This loss was the last straw, the final insult to a life filled with too much tragedy and too much betrayal. Her beautiful wife and daughter was her earthly reason to live and they were gone; both victims of heinous crimes, that would only continue to haunt her lonely life until it was over.

The light from the street lamps split time as a strobe through her rain-drenched eyelashes. She walked alone in slow motion through the rain and flashed back to Rachael and her unborn baby grandchild. The rain provided the tears which she could not cry herself. Her losses had overwhelmed the gains of her life many times over. There were no more tears within her to cry, for the emotional pain was much too great for simple tears and there was nothing else left in her soul but for that pain.

Jack Taylor, my daughter, was reminded of me, and Pamela, and Rachael and of her unborn grandchild again and again by the piercing light... it was here, then gone, as she walked down Mercy Street of a different name. Her shoulders tightened as she braced against the numbing cold of the rain driving into her face with eyes wide open. Comfort in death lies about a mile ahead when she would reach her 'home away from home' the rectory at Assisi Heights.

#  I Could Never Find Better Company

Jack didn't notice me until I called out to her, "Excuse me, but would you please help me?" Jack didn't answer; instead she continued to walk into the rain with her arms crossed around her tummy. I crossed the street kitty-corner to meet with her. I was holding my umbrella against the rain while Jack maintained a steady pace with her eyes wide open. She was about half of the way to her destination. "I am alone and it is dark", I said. "Please, I would feel safer with you and you can share my umbrella". Jack stopped but she did not look at me. "I am afraid that I will not be good company for you now." She said. "Never mind, I don't need conversation. I am on my way to see my friend, Catralina at Assisi Heights." Jack started to walk again in silence and then she stopped and looked at her leg and she realized that she was not in any pain. As she raised her head, she understood that the rain had stopped as well; it was still there in the air, but suspended; it wasn't falling.

I said to her, "Jacqueline, so do you miss the squeaking sound that your cane made on your last walk down this street?" Jack looked at me and understood at once that I was her mother. I continued, "Jacqueline, I could never find better company to be in than yours." and then I hugged her for the first time. "Mother, I love you!" after a moment's pause she continued, "... and either I have died or you have never grown older. You are as beautiful as the memories that I have of your pictures." "Thank you Jacqueline", I replied, "but you are neither right nor wrong; neither of us is ready for death, and neither is my granddaughter." Jack was bewildered.

There were no sounds but the sounds of our feet upon the wet pavement as we began to walk together, and the rain as our umbrella collided with the suspended drops. Jack looked into my eyes and asked if Rachael was in a place of suspended animation as time seemed suspended for the time that we shared. "No" I said smiling, "but she is safe and so are we. You will meet with her again soon."

Shortly thereafter, we arrived to find Catralina's familiar smile and greetings. Jack didn't mention the fire at her apartment; she already knew that Catralina had been informed somehow. Jack took her place at a small table with the two of us. Now as she sipped her tea, she leaned back against her chair with her face toward the ceiling and then she slowly closed her eyes for a moment to clear her head. Catralina spoke first, "Your mother is my twin sister." Jack began to heal and I could see that her once-wide smile reemerged as relief and hope began to wash over her; relief for the thought that she and Rachael are safe for now, and hope that a grandchild may be gifted her and to Rachael's fiancé, Morgan.

"So, how long have you known that I was born as a girl into a boy's body?" she asked us both. I answered, "I can only have a girl. We both knew that you would be a girl even before you were born. Jacqueline, time has stopped for a reason; just as you are familiar with wave-particle duality and the act of observation which determines the state of either, so it is that one life can have an experience which is so profound in history that alternate futures become possible and that observation of a particular history among the sum of all histories will determine the state, or the reality of that history.

Listen carefully, my child. Your role in life was manipulated at birth; you were born male because no female could have played the key role in history that you played. You have been betrayed during your life in order to save humankind from the catastrophic events which are about to unfold without our intervention. The hard work is over for you now. You are the one who was shot through her leg by 'friendly fire' as you feigned to your German submarine crew that you were trying to scuttle your submarine just as it appeared that the American destroyer slowed and turned after threatening to ram you. You were carried under the cover of blankets along with the Enigma Cipher Machine back to the American destroyer as your German comrades thought that you were killed and the submarine was sinking, thanks to your heroic effort to keep your submarine out of 'enemy' hands. Recall how they proudly chanted your nickname, 'Nemo, Nemo...'

You are the one whose imagination since then has created the ideas which I have saved as the foundation for a renaissance of peace and stability for a new alternate world. I am sorry that I betrayed you, and I hope that as you try to understand _why_ I did, also know that I am here to reward you; it is you, who must now be witness to that new future which could not have existed but for your life, and in spite of betrayal of you by me and everyone who has ever called you by your given male name. You will begin at birth the life that you justly deserve.

I will be here, carrying on in your pain-filled and dying body, which is at the scene of your apartment fire, and which will recover. I will use your given name and the lessons that I have learned from you, together with the support of your friends and family to redeem the martyred loss of Rachael by making changes that will help this world become as enlightened as the one that you and Rachael will share."

Jack looked back at me and asked if anyone else was hurt in the fire at her apartment. I told her that had time not been stopped, that she would have been the only casualty and that her planned death was the final betrayal of her life; her father, Warren Taylor formerly known as Martin Niemöller, so hated Jack for fighting the Germans in WWII and for marrying Pamela who had Japanese heritage, that he stipulated in his will that Jack should be killed by fire by members of his supremacist group as answer to the injustice by Jack for actions as an enemy of her own race and heritage.

Jack could have only understood the truth because I was telling her.

Catralina stood and said that it was time to go to the rectory. As they walked side-by-side, Jack asked me if I was sacrificing myself for her. I told her that we sacrifice ourselves for each other, but not to worry; we all live on. I continued, "Jacqueline, when your mind is free from the mundane ideas about infrastructure, mathematics and politics, you and others will develop ideas which will define greatness for your generation and which will inspire the best of humanity in each generation that follows."

As we entered the rectory, Catralina guided Jack to her place at one foci of the elliptical room while I stood at the other and summoned Rachael.

As Rachael appeared before me, I said, "It is time for us all to take our rightful places. Rachael and Jacqueline will be as one and Catralina will guide you to your world, the world that Jacqueline built."

Rachael, Jacqueline, and Catralina all disappeared to where Rachael had come from, and I hurried to occupy Jack's body lying wet and burnt in the rain.

I screamed as I assumed my daughter's former male body after the departure of my daughter's spirit. Paramedics were about to give up on saving Jack (now me) when my painful exclamation told them that there was still a life to save.

#  The Alternate Death of Friedrich

Rachael and Catralina arrived back to find Leigh alone and patiently waiting. Leigh was at home there and she would always stay telepathically connected to me.

Catralina held Leigh and motioned Rachael, who was now pregnant with her daughter Marlena to come to the Time Parser. There, they witnessed the alternate history of Jack, born Friedrich Niemöller, son of Martin Niemöller. Friedrich was the German submariner who rose from the ranks of the German navy to be the proud German captain who stood alone on the deck of his submarine while his crew swam away to safety; Friedrich, whose wrist was tethered to the leather and waterproof cylindrically shaped canister which held his charts... as well as the postulates and ideas from Jack that would survive as the submarine was rammed and Friedrich was killed.

#  The World Won the War and War Was Lost to the World

Marlena was ten years old when she learned how Germany had won WWII. The Allies had never been able to decipher the German Enigma Cipher Machine. The war ended when several submarine decoys assisted one particular German submarine with the capability of delivering an atomic bomb aboard a V-X rocket to New York City. The Germans had successfully detonated a nuclear bomb on the city of Leningrad just one day after the surrender of Japan to the USA. The threat to New York was real and Allies surrendered on September 10th, 1945.

When Marlena told her mother about the story that she learned, Rachael told her the story of Friedrich, but that he in fact was a girl who role-played the historically courageous captain who had authored plans and ideas to make a better world and even made war itself obsolete.

Germany could not have held its grip on victory over the vast landscape of the world had it not been for the documents authored by Friedrich which were eventually recovered by the Germans from the Americans but by then, copies of those documents had made their indelible mark on the minds of those who had read them and had changed long-held value systems all over the world. Among the documents were notes written in the margins of Friedrich's secret inner and personal world and which if revealed, would have cost her life under the Nazi's.

That night, when Marlena went to bed, she thought to herself how fortunate she was to be born as a girl, true to her gender; and that was the sign that Leigh relayed to me, which meant that my tour of duty to Jack's world was over. Jack's body was retired and Leigh and I continued to serve both emerging histories.

Hope, like time itself springs eternal and so does our ability to imagine solutions to overcome our personal and our collective challenges. If you are worried about the future, then perhaps you have something more to learn about your own potential, but you _do_ know Jack... remember her, and remember Marlena; she carries on where Jack left off, as does every younger generation of us.

#  Premise:  
HUMANKIND HAS A DESTINY

The identification of the destiny of humankind requires the adherence of certain unassailable principles:

First Postulate: _Maintain equilibrium with our environment_ _._

The destiny of humankind is to find and maintain equilibrium with our environment in order to maximize the time over which we can ponder and answer the questions of our highest and best use.

Second Postulate: _We are necessarily interdependent_ _._

The destiny of humankind is to recognize that our long-term survival depends on the understanding that we are necessarily interdependent upon one another.

Even if one is able to repair current technology, they would be unlikely to also be able to manufacture the needed parts for repair. In the unlikely event that one could do both, it is unlikely that one could additionally grow and prepare food, treat their own health, or meet countless other needs.

First Axiom: _There is a role for common self defense_ _._

There is a role for common self defense. We need each other in order to survive.

People inclined to selfishly save themselves by preparing to defend what they own instead of sharing in community responsibility for all to survive are a danger to themselves and to others. There is not a role for individual defense in spite of the defense of us all.

Rather than each person plan for him or herself in the event of a catastrophe, we should avoid a repeat of the Dark Ages and go directly to the next Renaissance. To do this, we need to recognize the necessity of a social, economic and political framework in order for all of us to survive.

Third Postulate: _Teach values and principles to our progeny_ _._

The destiny of humankind is to develop values and principles that we find worthy to abide by in the spirit of continuous improvement for us all and to teach them to our progeny so that they may walk in our footsteps before trudging ahead into promising yet uncharted history.

There may be nothing so noble as to leave this world better for our progeny than we have found it for ourselves.

First Axiom: _The youngest generation will be the greatest_ _._

Our best hope is that the youngest generation will be the greatest.

There is need for understanding the past in order to cope with what is left to us. Not only is the past useful in explaining how and why things are as they are, but it serves as a tool for personal and collective improvement so that the future can be made better for each of us and for all generations who follow. Just as it would be easiest to make great change in history by going a great distance back into time and make a small change, so is it our greatest hope to affect future human history by helping those who are youngest among us.

All generations need to behave as though the youngest generation is our best hope to become the greatest generation and should focus on continuous improvement for the hopes and aspirations of the best of what each generation can become and to achieve the closest approximation to the highest and best that we, the people, can become.

Each generation needs to focus on the younger generations who have the greatest hope of achieving a state closest to the ideals of humankind through continuous improvement that each generation needs to embrace and which is focused upon achieving the highest and best use of humankind.

First Corollary: _Everyone who is able has a societal obligation to teach others._

Our ability to assimilate facts, acquire knowledge through scientific and other methods, and our application of reason and imagination allows us to find trends, to understand changes, challenges, dangers, and to invent new things, methods, and procedures in order for us to adapt to or even (in some ways) to have dominion over our environment.

On a personal level, the same gifts allow us to feel compassion and to discover or invent ways to help our brothers and sisters in their time of need.

Each generation needs to learn the inherent need for us to collectively adapt to our changing environment.

The lesson is that we need to overcome our selfish need for fulfillment in order to achieve fulfillment for ourselves and for the whole of us simultaneously.

Everyone needs to be a teacher to bring that message home to our progeny in order to secure the axiom that our best hope is that the youngest generation will be the greatest.

Fourth Postulate: _Knowledge, understanding, compassion, love, peace, and goodwill_

The destiny of humankind is to teach to everyone and everything that can comprehend it, that understanding grows from knowledge, compassion grows from understanding, love grows from compassion, peace grows from love, the root of us all, and goodwill towards others grows from peace.

Fifth Postulate: _Acknowledge equality of each of us_ _._

The destiny of humankind is for all of us to acknowledge equality of each of us and for each of us to accept equality among all of us.

First Axiom: _We each could have been anyone we see living in our time_ _._

Humanity consists of the collection of us all and each of us is labeled as, women, men, old, young, gay, straight, short, tall, ill, healthy, economically poor, economically rich, transsexual, intersexed, transvestite, brown, black, yellow, white, red, blonde, republican, democrat... and intellectually, physically, socially, morally diverse. None of those labels can be used to define any of us as a person or our actual and potential meaningful contributions to our collective hopes and aspirations. Each of us could have been described by any one or more of those labels in the sum of all histories depending on the time and place of our birth; intrinsic facts which were completely beyond our personal control.

Therefore we must logically conclude that each of us deserves the compassion, dignity, love and respect from all of the rest of us that we would wish for ourselves if we found ourselves in another's circumstances. In the sum of all histories, each of us could have been _interchangeable_ at birth and we could have been anyone we see living in our time. We are all a part of the same family; humanity and all people are equal, irrespective of the noticeable or unnoticeable imperfections and differences that make each of us uniquely _perfect_. The only measure that one can make for oneself is to do the best that we can and to love everyone for doing the best that they can do under their unique circumstances.

First Corollary: _Recognize the flaw in us to be 'rugged individualists'_ **.**

We must recognize the importance and the magnitude of the challenge we face in overcoming the fundamental flaw in our nature to be 'rugged individualists'.

While individual challenges and achievement are important, it is from our interdependent responsibilities that we require to act and to react to changes in our environment from all causes in _unison_. The key to our success is to acknowledge that all people are equal.

Second Corollary: _The act of recognizing our equality will change us for the better_ _._

To acknowledge that we are not greater than or less than equal to everyone else may not be the only answer to unlocking our potential to survive and to thrive in a changing world, but it is an essential part and it will forever change us for the better.

For example, you cannot discriminate against anyone if everyone is equal to you. Also, you cannot be an aggressor in a war, for to kill anyone who is equal to you is tantamount to suicide. Even bullying becomes inconceivable.

Second Axiom: _The destiny of humankind is to speak and to spread the message of equality_ _._

We have a personal responsibility to spread the message, wherever it has not been heard or where it might be forgotten, of inalienable personal and social equality, to care for each person and all people with the love, dignity and respect that you would wish for if you found yourself in the same circumstances, and to express yourself in the unique and perfect way that only you can and which does no harm to others and which may be in the company of peaceful others.

Third Axiom: _Defend those who are oppressed so that they may become equal_.

Each of us and all of us, have the responsibility to defend all who are oppressed so that they may become equal.

Fourth Axiom: _Stand up for the underrepresented, so that they may become equal_.

Each of us and all of us, have the responsibility to listen to the voices of the underrepresented so that they may become equally represented.

Sixth Postulate: _Learn and promote rational understanding of facts_ _._

The destiny of humankind is to learn and promote rational understanding of individual facts, processes and procedures within a defined spectrum between pure conjecture and the absolute and undisputed truth.

We have to agree on the facts in order to work in unison for our common benefit.

1. What is the quality and the quantity of information that you have which we can find agreement on or that can be determined to be irrefutable?

2. Are you willing to challenge the rigidity of your institutional positions of 'belief' and 'self' in order to accept a time-sensitive consensus (set precedent should always be subject to review) regarding ideological concepts such as country, religion, government, or education?

3. Are you willing to share the principles and values which guide you and help to construct an economic, legal, political, and social system which rewards the best principles and behavioral traits among us?

4. Are you willing to make or accept cultural customs which reinforce our awareness of how the institution of 'self' impacts other institutions within others and us with whom we interact?

First Axiom: _A consensus must be found regarding reviewable facts_ **.**

A consensus must be found regarding reviewable facts and principles to teach our descendants.

We are unable to set meaningful goals or to work towards them without a consensus of understanding of facts by heterogeneous groups or even by disparate locations of people. There needs to be a basic framework for social values, interactions, expectations, and responsibilities in order to improve the greater good of us all.

First Corollary: _Survival and recovery plans should be made_ **.**

Survival and recovery plans should be made which will prepare us to act in unison in order to restrict our harmful impact on the environment or in the event of catastrophe such as climate change, rebellion or incursion, and others which could lead to chaos and failure.

There are many examples of urgent situations that will demand a different paradigm than any here-to-for in order for us to be successful... in order to survive: such as unbridled population growth in the face of diminishing resources and global climate change, social, political, and economic dependence on a fragile infrastructure of hardware and software that shockingly few of us would be able to repair, the diffusion of technology for mass destruction throughout the world, and countless more that we are aware of and others that we will not imagine.

Seventh Postulate: _End physical and emotional violence between people_ _._

The destiny of humankind is to end physical and emotional violence between people and to resolve differences peacefully.

There is no cause which justifies physical or emotional violence between people aside from defense.

No one should feel their intelligence has not been insulted who begins to think that it is wise to kill anyone for any reason. In other words, don't ever let yourself become so dumb as to think that it is smart to kill someone. In either case, you will have made yourself disposable.

Equally, any harm that you inflict upon others will become yours to bear and mine and all of ours to share. You are a superstar, just like everyone else. Go past (get over) yourself to appreciate your company.

Eighth Postulate: _End needless suffering and strife_ _._

The destiny of humankind is to end needless suffering and strife.

We need to recognize the responsibility that we each share for the health, safety and welfare of all of us.

Ninth Postulate: _Minimize unintended consequences of technology_ _._

The destiny of humankind is to learn from and by our personal and cumulative interpersonal and other experiences within collectively imposed ethical and other constraints on scientific or other procedures in order to minimize or to undo unintended consequences of advancing technology.

#  Epilogue

However you view Jack, remember; People can see beauty that runs to the core of some of us, but otherwise attractive people who choose to be blind are numbing to the senses of those intrepid others who seek truth and act accordingly.

No one can stop the rain by him or herself; however, there is no need to distress over the horrifying nightmare of failure; indeed failure is not an option.

Together, _we_ can, _we_ must, and _we_ will _stop the rain_ ... Think about it and then talk about it today. I am watching and I promise my continuous moral support and other support for non-violent activism for the destiny of humankind.
