• From not knowing how to cook grilled cheese
to cooking ramen with soda, the Planet Dolan
crew re-enact some of the best true stories
from our subreddit about hilarious cooking
fails. I’m [Hellbent - or – Nixxiom] and
today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by Jason-OCE 4 – Danger
Dolan
Danger Dolan made a rather embarrassing mistake
with “Easy Mac”. The word “easy” is
literally in the name, but he still found
a way to screw it up.
The recipe says to put pasta and water in
the bowl, cook, and stir in cheese mix. Now,
from these, what step do you think Dolan skipped?
Turns out he forgot to add water. Dolan placed
dry pasta in the microwave and pressed “cook”.
After a minute, Dolan and his brother noticed
there was smoke up to the ceiling, but thought
it was his brother's cooking as they were
sharing the kitchen. After another minute,
the smoke was so thick that they could barely
breathe and, just then, finally realized what
had happened. They unplugged the microwave
because the pasta inside was smoking and maybe
on fire.
The microwave was permanently damaged, and
Dolan had to replace it. The saddest part
was that Dolan never got his 4 pm snack.
Number 9 was submitted by Narek989 - Melissa
So Melissa and her friend were going to bake
a cake. The thing about this was that they
had a lot of different chocolate mixes and
marshmallows. They tried to create a layer
cake by putting the marshmallows at the very
bottom and started putting the different mixes
– including browning mix – above the othes.
This was for a friend of theirs, who was a
choco-holic. They baked it, then took it out.
Though the cake felt a little heavy, they
thought it was fine and let it cool.
Melissa and her friend went to their friend's
house with the cake. It felt like it weighed
a good 20+ pounds! Melissa’s friend put
it on the birthday person's counter, but it
fell and made a loud thud. The fun part for
them was turning it upside down and getting
the thing out. It took a few tries until it
came out. What ended up happening is that
the marshmallows had caramelized on the very
bottom, making it hard as hell.
But it only got worse. Now it was time to
cut it. They got a good, sturdy, heavy cutting
knife and began to try cutting it. After a
few attempts, and breaking the knife from
the handle, they got a serrated knife and
began sawing it. Almost nobody could finish
one piece of it, as the sugar content and
chocolate taste of it would easily put any
diabetic into a coma. The only reason Melissa
finished one piece was because she was determined
to NOT let a piece of food go to waste.
They called it "Death By Chocolate With The
Density Of Plutonium".
Number 8 was submitted by Lissybee24 – Ladybot
Ladybot was working at a low rent gas station
as a short order cook and had to train a new
employee. The new employee, Doopie, came in,
boasting about how she had owned and operated
two restaurants and managed two others. She
proceeded to tell Ladybot that she didn't
need her to help at all because she knew how
to cook.
The start of the morning shift was awful.
Doopie didn't know anything, not even the
difference between a scrambled egg and an
egg over easy. It was a nightmare, and the
more Ladybot tried to help, the more resentful
she became. An early lunch order came in and
it was a simple order that Ladybot assumed
that Doopie would be able to handle without
a problem. Boy was she wrong. The order was
for a grilled cheese sandwich and fries extra
crispy. Ladybot asked her before she started
the order if she knew how to make a grilled
cheese sandwich and her answer was "yes, I'm
not stupid". So, Ladybot watched the stupidest
thing she’s ever seen. Doopie walked over
to the grill, grabbed the bread and put it
in the toaster, then proceeded to place 3
different types of cheese on the grill, burning
the cheese badly. She put that mess together
on the toast, which smelled bad, then put
the fries down to cook. All in that order.
Of course, Ladybot had to intervene and fix
the order but it was truly magical to watch.
So by the time Ladybot remade the sandwich,
the customer’s fries were cooked to perfection
and all was good. Doopie complained to the
owner that Ladybot was a bad teacher and didn't
explain anything. She went on to explain that
Ladybot was pushing her around. But it was
all on camera to prove that Doopie was a straight
up idiot.
Number 7 was submitted by Hairynutz - Robo
Robo was housesitting for her grandparents
with a mate when they were 13. They attempted
to cook a roast chicken in the oven. After
a few tries to get the oven to start, they
found the "start” button. Robo’s mate
hit the button and BOOM! The door smashed
open and broke the glass. It also ruined the
hinge. They cleaned it up and proceeded to
cook the raw chicken in the microwave, which
gave them food poisoning as a result. Robo
never asked to house sit again.
Number 6 was submitted by EMdom - Gooby
Gooby was hungry one morning and felt lazy.
She wanted hard boiled eggs but didn't feel
like boiling water, so she put a whole bunch
of eggs in the microwave. Gooby put the 5
raw eggs in for 6 minutes. She left, but then
started hearing pops. Gooby came back to check
on the eggs, and found that eggy slimy stuff
was all over the fucking microwave. Gooby
learned a lesson – microwaves don't like
eggs.
Number 5 was submitted by IAmToShun - Pringle
One night Pringle was trying to cook some
spaghetti and meatballs for himself when he
realized his stove was broken. Being extremely
drunk, he decided to use his father’s grill
to do it. Pringle heated up the grill as he
put down the meatballs and noodles.
He left it running for twenty minutes as he
played a game. When Pringle headed back with
a spatula, well, he ended up scraping off
the remains of the coal-black food and just
stared at it. Pringle threw it away and ate
some tacos with pepperoni, sausage, and gummy
worms in them.
Number 4 was submitted by CitySparrow - Emojie
When they were younger, Emojie and his cousins
were fans of manga. They once found a recipe
for banana bread in the back of one book and
decided to make it during a vacation.
The ingredients weren't balanced, as it required
more salt than necessary, and the recommended
baking time was too short. When they took
the bread out of the oven it looked like an
undercooked brown, mushy alien that appeared
to be breathing. Emojie tried it to see if
it was salvageable, and it was the saltiest
thing he ever tasted. They never tried the
recipe again.
A few years later, Emojie found a different
banana bread recipe in a cookbook that he
spruced up with chocolate chips and vanilla...
which was delicious!
Number 3 was submitted by Golinator18 - Honeybits
So Honeybits was never taught to never put
out an oil fire in water, and one day as a
school assignment she had to make a Japanese
dish and give a report on it. Honeybits chose
to do korokke, which is ground beef and other
stuff rolled into a ball and fried.
Honeybits decided it would be a good idea
to play a game while letting it cook. Just
as one would expect, it caught fire, and she
panicked, throwing it into the sink. When
she turned on the faucet, the fire expanded
into a huge flame that was touching the ceiling
and burned everything around it. Honeybits
thought she must've had twenty angels around
her or something, because she was lucky enough
not to get a single scratch on her. The house
didn't burn down, and the only thing that
happened was a couple of bottles of soap around
the fire had melted. Some of the smog stains
in the ceiling can still be seen. Her sister
was the only one home and was crying constantly,
asking what happened. Honeybits lied and told
her that she left to use the bathroom for
like a minute. Honeybits’ sister didn't
even trust her to use a lighter, and Honeybits
still hears jokes about it today.
Number 2 was submitted by OrbitalKing - GhostToast
After just getting out of the hospital and
being tired, GhostToast put a bowl of ramen
in the microwave… but didn’t include water
and burnt the shit out of it. After it was
done, he looked at the charred black brick
of noodle and realized he forgot the water.
So, GhostToast proceeded to pour Mountain
Dew into the bowl! After putting it back in
the microwave for 3 minutes, straining it,
and putting the chicken flavor packet in,
GhostToast almost ate it until his uncle stopped
him. Apparently, Mountain Dew and chicken-flavored
charred noodles wouldn't have been the best
thing for him to eat.
Number 1 – What 
is 
the most hilarious cooking fail I ever made?
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet
Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What
is the most disgusting meal you’ve ever
had?” Let us know in the reddit page linked
below and you might be featured 
in a future countdown.
