there's a right time in a wrong time to
apologize but when and there's a right
time in a wrong time to stick up for
your friends but where is that well in
this video we're gonna be breaking down
the Jenna MArbles and Julien Solomita apology because
there is so much that we can learn from
the best apology of 2019 what's up
everybody
this is Chris from the rewired so where
we talk about the problem but focus on
the solution and if you're new to my
channel my channel is all about mental
health and sometimes what I try to do is
take different topics going on in the
YouTube community and see what we can
learn see what we can learn from
people's mistakes as well as their
successes so if you're into that stuff
make sure you subscribe and bring that
notification about and if you're not yet
follow me over on Instagram and Twitter
at the rewired salt because I love
engaging with all of you beautiful
people out there my DMS are open so I
love when you guys hit me up DM me if
you have questions I can point you in
the right direction and give me some
resources and stuff like that if you're
struggling or know somebody who is
alright but yeah let's jump into this so
Jenna and Julien just who doesn't love
Jenna and Julien does anybody hate Jenna
and Julian like show me who they are
alright anyways so the other day I saw
on Twitter from the Jenna and Julian
podcast account I think they said
something and they were apologizing to
some authors in the reddit or /no sleep
and I've been a bad Jenna and Julian
podcast fan for the last month or so I
haven't been listening to their podcast
but anyways I wasn't really sure what
this was about
and I just watched their video they made
like a 17-minute video and it's their
apology - or / no sleep and I want to
check it out so apparently what happened
was there's this subreddit called all /
no sleep where authors submit you know
different stories and Jenna and Julien
they were using them on their podcasts
they were reading on they were reacting
to
and things like that and it it upsets
some of the authors and there were some
DMCA takedowns of the videos right and
Jenna and Julian were apologizing for
that so before I jump in like what we
can learn from when and when not to
apologize and when to stick up for the
people in our lives because remember
this isn't necessarily about Jenna and
Julian we are using this as context to
look at our own lives you and definitely
me because we're all here to try to
improve so let me let me roll back to
this morning okay so this morning I was
on Twitter and one of my favorite
authors one of my favorite authors of
all time
Jonathan haidt he tweeted out this study
okay and this study is actually about
link it down below okay so this study is
actually about how let me read the title
does apologizing work an empirical test
of the conventional wisdom all right so
I read this study it's 14 pages I love
if you know me you know I love me some
scientific studies I love research
I love psychological research and
everything like that but basically this
study kind of shows contradictions to
what we believe that apologizing
actually helps situation so I got into
this mindset right and make sure you
subscribe especially if you're a
youtuber because on Tuesday I'm gonna
dive into this study but I was looking
at this and it started to make sense why
a bunch of youtuber apologies don't work
all right and I was like dang this is an
awesome study so I was like in my mind
just like yeah you know what screw
apologizing don't apologize for nothing
Yeah right and I sent the study to one
of my mentors what do you think of the
Jenna and Julian apologizing and I was
like you know why and I was in that
mindset of like no apology so I went
into a video like no way man they
shouldn't apologize but when I watched
that Jenna and Julian
video it was that that slap in the face
right I think one of the best things we
could do for our mental health is to be
flexible in our thinking and know when
we're holding on too tightly to
something so I definitely think there is
a right and a wrong time to apologize
like there's sometimes when people are
demanding an apology from us when it's
unwarranted but Jenna and Julian the way
they discuss this was perfection like
the way they explain this like this was
very black-and-white okay and they admit
their wrongdoing and 1,000% like this is
when we apologize all right something
that I talked about in a video last
Monday on morality mondays is really
just checking in with your internal
compass right your internal moral
compass and like do you feel bad right
like our emotions are pretty much like
different alarm systems right and we
feel guilt right or if we feel shame
that's typically our mind our soul
spirit whatever you want to call it
making a call to action like you need to
do something about this right and
there's some things that are very gray
but Jenna and Julian they admit like
they did not fully research like in
Redditt they usually have like rules on
the side and Jenna and Julian did a good
job explaining kind of their creative
process and how they get topics and
everything and they completely blew past
the part in that subreddit that said you
cannot use this work so one of the
authors reached out to them and email
them and said like hey I'm a big fan I
love what you guys do but as a creative
this kind of screwed me over so when I
was initially watching this and was in
kind of like that mindset of don't
apologize like what this is fair use
da-da-da-da-da but Jenna and Julian
actually explained how what they did
actually wasn't fair use and they
screwed up all right so they apologized
for it and I love this too because like
they even brought up like they didn't
know and they want others to learn and
you guys this
is why my channel exists this is why my
videos exist because like they said
they're like listen if your creator out
there like know about this like I'm a
creator right not only do I have the
YouTube channel but I write books you
know I need to catch up on my podcast
but I I'm doing blogs and everything
like that and when someone takes your
work right like I don't mind if people
use clips and commentate on what I do
like that's what a lot of us do here on
YouTube but as a creative eye I can
definitely empathize with those authors
and what Jenna and Julian were talking
about was this was a fair use from now
it's a lesson for me when I use in
content and to look into it and ask
myself even more
is this fair use now my absolute
favorite part of this video was Julian
talking about well Jenna Angela and
talking about how much they love and
appreciate their fans right and how much
their fans have their back but Julian
really explained how this is a learning
experience because initially the
author's got flak from the Jenna and
Julian fanbase because of this kind of
blind loyalty and the way this kind of
relates to us like how many times do we
just have this loyalty to a fault to our
friends what will defend anything they
do right this this can really happen
with family as well where even if they
mess up like I feel that there's a
difference between unconditional love
and like just this loyalty to a fault
right like if my son became like a
serial killer or something I couldn't be
like hey I got your back you know what I
mean quite a few laws and this is not
good you know what I mean but anyways
let's talk about the crowd psychology
level and then the individual kind of
mental health level so I've been really
fascinated with crowd psychology as of
late I've read so many books on it
lately and this is something that you
commonly see and
it's I don't want to say worrisome but
it reminds me of like cult followings
right this kind of like blind massive
group like our leaders can do nothing
wrong you know what I mean and that's an
issue like everybody everybody is human
okay and Jenna and Julian's case like no
matter how many subscribers they have no
matter how much you like them or
anything like that like they are
basically saying I listen we are
fallible I will never forget I will
never forget until the day I die
logan paul logan paul after he made that
infamous vlog in japan and he came back
and he made his apology his apology and
he had to talk to his audience because
his audience was defending him and he's
like no i did something terrible do not
defend me and then people from his
audience were like screw you Logan I'm
defending you anyways and it's like
right so like I said on a crowd
psychology level we need to look at how
as a group when we blindly follow people
even when they admit to messing up now
when it comes to friendships this is
something that was terrible for me so my
experience was I used to have people in
my life who were loyal to a fault to me
they defended everything I did and those
of you who don't know me hi I'm Chris
I'm a recovering drug addict and
alcoholic for almost a decade of my life
I was being a terrible scummy person and
when we're doing awful things we're like
this magnet for enablers we keep people
around who co-signed RBS right and when
I got sober I realize I need to keep you
keep people around who tell me what I
need to hear and not what I want to hear
right like I can't have people blindly
defend me and if you're in my audience I
don't want you to blindly defend me so
the people I keep in my life today have
this kind of unconditional love from me
like a great example a great example is
my beautiful girlfriend Tristan right
like she
has no problem absolutely no problem
calling me out on my BS being like Chris
you're being a jackhole right now what
you said in that video was stupid what
you did was dumb that did that deducts
up to top right but because she does
that and she calls me out when she has
my back I know she I know she means it
as well right this is why we shouldn't
fluff up our friends and just blindly
like agree and be like yes meant to I'm
like we got to call him out and say yo
you screwed up so like I want my
audience my community here and something
Jenna and Julian are talking about like
I want my community here to call me out
on my BS and also realize like there's
some things where we're just gonna
disagree you know what I mean like we're
gonna disagree and there's no there's no
right or wrong and that's one of the
reasons I've been diving into videos
about morality and things like that
lately right like sometimes you might
just disagree with me and that's cool
where people let's have conversations
you know what I'm saying but anyways I
think there's so much to learn from
Jenna and Julian and I'm really glad
that my mentor showed me this video
because I want to make more videos like
this I want to make more videos
highlighting good examples in the
community like it's so easy to find
things negative that we can learn from
and I think that's part of our negative
bias right but when creators are out
there doing something awesome or public
figures or out there doing something
awesome I really want to start
highlighting that so if you have any
suggestions or comments or like I said
follow me on instagram and twitter you
can DM me or tweet at me whatever it is
if if you see somebody who's being a
good example and you think that a lot of
us can learn from what they're doing
like let me know like I truly believe
one of the best ways to grow mentally
spiritually and all of that is to look
at people who are living good lives and
try to learn from the path that they're
going on you know what I mean alright so
to sum it up this
Lucian's okay we need to know when and
when not to apologize all right
sometimes we over apologize for things
when we shouldn't and like I said on
Tuesday I'll be diving into this study
it'll be linked down below if you want
to if you want to get a head start on
the homework we're gonna go into on
Tuesday all right the next solution the
next lesson all right know when we
should and shouldn't like back or
friends up or people in our life up and
when we need to call them out and who we
keep in our lives and who calls us out
on our stuff and when we need to be
called out and everything like that now
it's also important to remember that
sometimes we're just gonna disagree
we're gonna have different views alright
so anyways that's all I got for this
video if you like this video please give
it a thumbs up if you're new make sure
you subscribe and bring that
notification though and a huge huge
thank you to everybody who supports the
channel over on patreon as well as
everybody who supports the channel in
other ways by buying my mental health
books and merchants all that good stuff
I appreciate you alright thanks again
for watching I'll see you next time
