The hands are essential very useful in communication
and so we use our hand for tons of ways.
First we use our hands for barriers.
So one of the things you tend to see is people
use their hand to form a barrier between you
and I so for example if you are talking to
closely to someone or maybe if you are talking
to quickly, you tend to see people do nonverbal
jesters or they can be very politely to like
and oh, okay thank you.
There’s actually an interesting in terms
of hands, Barbara Peace and her husband they
are bilingual themselves from Australia and
they did this really cool study which I replicated.
A women is interacting in like a low cut top
with the man exposing her breast.
And as the man talks to her he’s using his
hands as if he’s groping or feeling the
women up.
And then when they put a sweater on her, she
doesn’t, they don’t use their hands.
So it’s very, very, it’s like subconsciously
we tend to do what we want with our hands,
very interesting.
Another thing we tend to do, we tend to fidget
a lot, a lot of anxious jesters tend to manifest
in the hands somebody wants to go.
For example if you’re giving a presentation
and somebody is going like this, like knocking
their hand up and down like this, you’re
not, maybe they have some other stuff going
on in their life but the point is you’re
not engaging them.
Because when you are engaging somebody they
stop and they pay attention to you alright.
So one of the useful things I look for when
I’m doing a presentation or the first like
15 or 20 minutes I want all those variables,
I want all those nonverbal behaviors to stop
and I want the person to be like paying attention.
Hands can manifest boredom, disinterest, hands
are also really, really useful to look for
incongruence.
All of a sudden I’m talking about my girlfriend
I don’t like one of her girlfriends, friends,
so we’re talking about her.
No, no I like her and she cool, the top half
of my vibe I’m giving you a good smile,
but the bottom, my fist is clenched.
That’s incongruent.
It saying I like her because I know socially
I have to say I like her she’s my girlfriend,
but at the other time my fist is doing what
it’s clenched.
You will see this at work environments.
I call this the Blackberry clench.
You will see people hold their blackberries
very tight because it’s something they are
mad about.
It’s very interesting, it an incongruence
that’s what you’re looking for.
Another thing we tend to do with our hands,
we tend to touch ourselves or caress ourselves.
That’s right an attraction, one of the ways,
one of the useful things to do is to see how
people play with objects.
Playing with objects in women is usually a
sign of attraction, now there’s a difference.
Let’s say you could be sitting there with
your drink in your hand right and somebody
could be going like, right.
That’s not a sign of attraction.
Attraction when people play with objects,
when women play with objects it’s a light
fondle, like the bottom of a glass to like
slowly play with it.
It’s like a caressing it.
Also like in a bar, a ar environment people
will use it to form a barrier, it’s like
when you are talking to someone, but after
you get comfortable, people tend to move their
hand down and open up more.
