WE ALL KNOW NASA MADE THE BIG
ANNOUNCEMENT YESTERDAY, THEY
DISCOVERED LIQUID WATER ON MARS.
I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS
MYSELF BUT I KNOW NOT EVERYBODY
IS.
BILL NYE, I'LL ASK YOU FIRST,
SHOULD WE GIVE A ( BLEEP ) ABOUT
WATER ON MARS.
>> YEAH!
IT'S NOT JUST THAT THERE WAS
WATER.
THERE IS EVERY YEAR, EVERY
MARTIAN YEAR.
SUPER SALTY WATER.
WHEREVER WE FIND WATER ON EARTH,
WE FIND LIVING THINGS.
IF WE WERE TO DISCOVER SOMETHING
LIVE ON MARS, SOME MARS MICROBE,
A MARS CROBE, IT WOULD CHANGE
THE WORLD.
IT WOULD.
EVERYBODY WILL --
>> IT WOULD CHANGE THE WORLD.
>> AB-SO-FREAKING-LUTELY.
EVERYBODY WOULD THINK
DIFFERENTLY ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS
TO BE A LIVING THING IN THE
COSMOS.
IF YOU WENT TO MARS AND LOOKED
AT THESE MICROBES, DO THEY HAVE
D.N.A.?
DO YOU WANT TO GET FREAKED?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET FREAKED?
>> WHERE ARE WE GOING WITH THIS.
>> THREE BILLION YEARS AGO MARS
GET HITS WITH AN IMPACTOR, A
ROCK --
>> I LOVE IMPACTORS.
>> WHO DOESN'T?
THERE ARE A LOT OF JOKES WE'LL
LEAVE ALONE NOW, LATER MAYBE.
ON THE WEB VERSION.
SO THE THING --
>> I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST
SAID.
>> A JOKE LIKE, "THAT'S WHAT SHE
SAID."
>> Larry: GOT YOU, GOT YOU.
SO ABOUT THE IMPACTOR.
>> YOU CAN GET MARS ROCKS, THEY
FALL ON THE EARTH--
>> Larry: OKAY, I JUST GOT IT,
I'M SORRY. I'M SO STUPID
>> IT'S ALL GOOD.
SO WE FIND MARS ROCKS ON EARTH.
>> Larry: YES!
>> BECAUSE THERE ARE CERTAIN
ORBITS, HOME IN ORBITS, EXCEPT
IN OUTER SPACE THERE'S NO SOUND.
THEY LAND ON EARTH.
IT IS NOT CRAZY TO SUGGEST--
IT'S EXTRAORDINARY, BUT NOT
CRAZY-- TO SUGGEST THAT LIFE
STARTED ON MARS THREE BILLION
YEARS AGO WHEN IT WAS VERY WET.
YOU AND I, EVERYBODY, OAK TREES,
SEA JELLIES, EVERYBODY IS
DESCENDED FROM MARTIANS.
IT IS WILD.
AND SO THERE ARE TWO QUESTIONS
THAT EVERYBODY ASKS.
ARE WE ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE?
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, PERHAPS,
WHERE DID WE ALL COME FROM?
>> Larry: OKAY, SO NOW I ASK
YOU, DO YOU GIVE A ( BLEEP )
ABOUT ALL THAT?
>> YES.
>> Larry: THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT!
>> I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT MARS!
WHY WOULD I BE EXCITED ABOUT
MARS!
I'M BARELY EXCITED ABOUT EARTH!
I'M TELLING YOU-- TRUMP IS FIRST
IN POLLS RIGHT NOW!
I DON'T CARE ABOUT MARS!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
DEFEAT ISIS.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
YOU GOT IT, IT'S ALL YOURS.
>> IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHAT'S
GOING ON, YOU KNOW, IN THE
UNIVERSE.
I'M GOING TO SAY I LOVE YOU.
YOU JUST DR. PHIL'D SCIENCE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ( BLEEP )
YOU JUST SAID.
HONESTLY, I'M KIND OF WITH YOU,
TOO.
AMERICANS, WE DON'T CARE--
>> YES, THEY DO.
>> IF IT'S CAITLIN JENNER'S
TEARS, YEAH, TELL ME ALL ABOUT
THAT WATER ON MARS.
>> IF THERE'S ANOTHER LIFE FORM,
YOU THINK-- PEOPLE DON'T EVEN
LIKE EACH OTHER HERE!
( LAUGHTER )
>> WE SHOULD GET MAURY POVICH TO
TEST THAT D.N.A.
>> YES!
>> Larry: BILL, I DID NOT KNOW
WE WOULD HAVE SUCH MARS HATEIN'.
I HAVE TO SAY--
>> NO, I'M NOT HATE AGO.
>> Larry: HOLD ON--
>> PUT SOME MARS SCIENCE ON THEM
RIGHT NOW, GO AHEAD, BILL.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> YOU GUYS, I DON'T KNOW YOU.
DO YOU USE A MOBILE PHONE?
>> YES.
>> YOU'VE SEEN ONE.
>> YOU WANT MY NUMBER?
>> NO.
>> AREN'T YOU MARRIED ON SOME
GUY?
>> I CAN HAVE FRIENDS.
>> Larry: LET'S KEEP IT ON
MARS.
LET'S KEEP IT ON MARS.
NOT VENUS AND MARS, JUST MARS.
>> YOU EVER USE THE ELECTRIC
INTERNET AND THE COMPUTER
MACHINES THE KIDS ALL HAVE?
HAVE YOU SEEN THAT?
>> I'VE ORDERED STUFF FROM
AMAZON.
>> THAT WOULDN'T EXIST WITHOUT A
SPACE PROGRAM.
>> BILL, YOU'RE SPACE SMART.
>> I'M OKAY.
>> I'M NEVER GOING TO GO TO
SPACE.
>> YOU HAVE TO.
>> I'M NEVER GOING TO GO TO
MARS.
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO
MARS?
>> IF YOU PUNCH IT, SEVEN
MONTHS.
>> I HATE THE FLIGHT TO L.A.
>> HOW DO YOU GET THERE?
HOW DO YOU GET THERE?
ON AN AIRPLANE. SOMEBODY FIGURED
IT OUT - YOU'RE JUST MESSING
WITH ME
>> RICKY IS ACTUALLY VERY
SERIOUS ABOUT THIS.
>> HE HATES THE FLIGHT TO L.A.
>> Larry: HE HATES THE THOUGHT
OF ANY FLIGHT THAT LASTS OVER 20
MINUTES.
>> YOU TRUST THAT AIRPLANES FLY.
THAT'S THE RESULT OF THE SAME
SCIENCE.
>> I DON'T TRUST, I JUST DO IT
>> DID IT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE TO
ANYBODY THAT, LET'S SAY --
>> WHAT ARE THE POSSIBILITIES?
LET ME ASK YOU THIS-- WHAT ARE
THE POSSIBILITIES THERE COULD
ACTUALLY BE BE LIKE LIFE WE
COULD RELATE TO ON MARS.
I DON'T THINK PEOPLE ARE EXCITED
ABOUT MICROBES.
>> I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING
PEOPLE WOULD BE EXCITED ABOUT.
>> Larry: GO FOR IT.
>> REAL PEOPLE, KIDS WHO ARE IN
SCHOOL TODAY, PEOPLE WHO ARE IN
EIGHTH GRADE TODAY ARE GOING TO
BE ASTRONAUTS ON 2033-- 2039,
THAT WOULD BE EXTRAORDINARY.
THOSE PEOPLE WOULD BE HEROES.
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT MATT
DAMON, WHO IS REQUIRED TO BE IN
EVERY MOVIE.
IT'S ALL GOOD FOR HIM.
>> I HEARD HE'S HIRING, SO.
>> HE DOES A WORKMAN-LIKE JOB.
>> Larry: I WANT TO GET THEM
EXCITED.
I WAS EXCITED AS A KID.
>> THE NASA BUDGET USED TO BE
FULLY 10 TIMES WHAT IT IS TODAY.
USED TO BE 4% OF THE U.S.
BUDGET.
NOW IT'S .4%.
DISCOVERIES MADE ON MARS ARE
MADE WITH 9% OF .4%.
>> Larry: BILL, I HAVE TO
INTERRUPT--
>> IT CHANGED THE WORLD, MAN!
IT'S COOL.
>> Larry: HERE'S THE THING, BY
THE THIRD-- NO, NO, I AGREE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
YOU HAVE TO LET ME SAY IT.
I AGREE WITH THAT.
I LOVE ALL THIS STUFF.
I'M EXCITED BY IT.
BUT I REMEMBER BY THE THIRD MOON
MISSION PEOPLE WANTED TO WATCH
"I DREAM OF JEANNIE."
PEOPLE WERE DONE BY THE THIRD
MOON MISSION.
HOW DO WE GET THIS EXCITED?
HOW TO WE GET THAT EXCITED?
>> I HAVE A QUESTION.
THIS IS HOW I WILL GET EXCITED
ABOUT MARS.
CAN YOU MAKE A SEX TAPE ON MARS?
>> I THINK SO.
40% OF THE GRAVITY.
>> OKAY.
>> YOU WOULD BE NOT FLOATING--
>> WHAT'S THAT?
>> LESS THAN HALF.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
>> Larry: OKAY.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
>> WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?
WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS
THAT? HELP ME OUT HERE!
