*High-Five noises* Top o' the mornin' to ya, laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and
welcome to Roller--ro--Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball! There.
Ah, fuck! I had said it a bunch of times out loud already and I couldn't say it then when the intro happened
I was trying to get it perfect so I could say it perfect first time. *giggle*
This came out ages ago and I really meant to play it when it came out, but I thought it was a multiplayer
only thing so I kinda held off until I had people to play it with, but there's a single player in it.
I didn't know that. So now I want to play it myself 'cause I kinda missed out on it. For ages.
And it's a really cool game. You're robots going around playing dodgeball in a roller derby.
Roller...roller derby disco kind of thing. (No shit) You can see why I had problems. Um..
Arcade--challenge--Let's do training. Creating training room. I am ready.
"Learn throwing, jumping and catching."
I think I can be good at those things. (not really) Oh god. Oh, I just pushin' in one direction and he just stays goin'.
Oh, that's really weird. I don't know about that. That's so bizarre.
'Kay, get ball. As any disco dodgeball--hold left mouse to charge shot and fire.
Hoosh!
Aha! I see how what do. (what?)
Nice! You are invincible. WHOOSH! Oh, fuckin' nailed 'em!
If only real dodgeball was like that! People explodin' into pieces!
Whoosh! *Jack fails* Dammit, dammit. This is gonna get actually really hard when I play against--AH!
When I play against bots. Trying to dodge everything. Oh god, it's thrilling!
It's thrilling, I love it! Who's throwing balls at me? I think you can catch it in midair as well.
Only thing is, I'm invincible right now. So playing against them...afterwards is going to be hard!
How do I catch the ball in midair? Whoosh! *trick shot* What a shot!
Holy fuck, I'm amazing! (yes, you are <3)
Ah, crap! Okay, let's try try it! Huuah! *fail* Didn't do it, didn't do it. That's fine.
You don't need to do everything that you set your mind out to do every single day of your life.
(#BadAdviceJack)
This is...I'm all over the place. I'm bouncin' around the place.
*preparing grunt* Daah! Yeees!
So I have to score 750 points and then the training finishes? Niice.
Nice one, breeeh! Lemme catch your ball. Lemme catch your ball, bro!
Eh, fuckin' hell. Being a robot and rolling around all over the place is kinda hard sometimes.
Huah! Nice. Huah! Nice! Huah! NICE! Fuck yeah!
Destroy your asshole! (*insert reference here*) Yes!
Okay, single player now. I think we can get in and just do arcade.
"Buy superpowers, defeat all opponents and become president of the galaxy."
*looks at camera and gasps* That's what I set out to do today! When I woke up it said
1. Get dressed *check* 2. Eat breakfast *check* 3. Become president of the galaxy *check*
So that's what I'm going to do. (oh really?)
Oh god, oh god. Do I not have a team?
It's just me and one other dude? *fails and dies; Voice: Ricochet!*
Okay, it's actually quite fuckin' hard to do when they can hit you back. ... Huah!
Oh, yes! Sweet dodge! *sudden regret* Oh shit! SHIT!
I kept fuckin' rolling! Oh god...
It's going to be very hard. (that's what she said) Stop-- *pause for rage* Are you serious?
This is insane. He has a fuckin'...the aim of a god.
I don't wanna fight him. (x3) Oh, it's scary.
It's scary. I don't like it! (x2) Yeeeah!
Wave two--oh shit, there's actually two of 'em now. Oh, shit! Oh god. (x5) Oh, lemme catch the ball.
Lemme catch the ball. Oh god. Ah! Ahahaha! Help me..Jebadiah! *dies* Fuuuck.
This is really difficult. It was fine in the training 'cause they couldn't shoot back. Ohohoho!
How do you like them tasty *dies* ...cakes.
Imma go back to the main menu, fuck Arcade. I'm gonna try...Bot Match.
This is what I'm doin'. Players: 6. Limit: 25. Teams: Free-For-All; No, I want teams.
H-How do I get teams? Te--what? Bots: Easy. Powerups: On.
Uh...yeaah. Modifiers, special room modifiers. ... Super boos--no (x6)
Ah, shit! I don't know what I'm doing! (obviously) Uhh...team select: Auto.  Uh, tea--team red!
Let's do this! *looks at teammates* Just me and Dan! Let's do it, Dan! *realization* Oh, and Ichiro.
Ah, three on three. This will be better!  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  All focus isn't on me now--Oh, deflection!
Imma do really well, you guys are gonna be so proud of me. (but we already are)
Huah! *fails and dies* Ahhhh! Fuckin' Andy, man! Kicking me in the ass--in my robot ass!
We can do this, we have the power! We're team Red! *dies*
*looks at camera* This is super fuckin' difficult! And these is the easy bots.
Huah! 'Kay, so ideally I just gotta get balls and hit dudes. (no homo?)
*throws and fails* WHAT?! How'd you fuckin'--*dies*
*rages* We hit each other! How'd you dodge that last time?!
Motherfucker...Do I have a jet-pack? Is that what I got? I have no idea. Huuah!
Shit. (x2) Jet-pack. No. Ehhh..*dies* Fffuckin' hell! Mother of chresusto. (who?)
I don't know what that is. Shut up, leave me alone. (No) 'Kay, maybe I should be jumping.
I don't jump very far. Huuah! *victory* Yees! Pick your battles, Jack. Pick your battles.
Don't be a doofer and get hit in the booper.
Huuah! Get Andy (x4) Ahhh! ... Huah! *fails and dies* Shield?!
*stares at camera* Since when do we have shields, motherfuckers?
Where's my shield? I should have a shield as well. Fuckin' Andy, man! I hate that dude!
Fuck Andy. What'd I get? Super Boost. Wooo! Huuah! Ahhh, jesus christ!
I'm actually moving in real life as well 'cause I'm so scared. Huuah! Fuck you guys. (x3)
Keep movin'. (x2) Ke--oh dodge that. Dip dive and dodge. That's how we--oh, yeah! That's how we dodgeball.
Whoosh! Fuckin' gigantic balls! That's what they call me - Gigantic Balls Jack.
Oh yes, starting to get a feel for it now! Oh shit, I threw the ball away. Ah, crap, where'd it go? *dies*
Ah, jesus!
Your balls are mine, Andy! (no homo) *rival killed* Yeahahah! Get fucked. I have a ball. I have a ball and
I'm not afraid to use it! *trick shot* Ohhhhh!!
Did you see that fuckin' from downtown shot?! That was awesome! ~Downtown~
Oh god, I can't do that with my voice half-gone. Whoosh! What a--*match ends
*victory pose and dance*
That's how I roll! Whoo! (x2) Yeah, that was awesome!
Winning K-O: Booper Dooper. That's you. *points to camera*
That's not just me. Booper Dooper's not a guy. It is a concept. It's all of us together.
It--It's everything and it's nothing. When people are like "How do you solve world peace?" Booper Dooper.
It's I- It's everything and it's nothing, but people are like:
"How do you solve world peace"?
It's that kinda thing. Oh, mother of cresto. What the fuck? Look at this place! It's like a fuckin' CS-GO map.
Oh, yes! First kill baby! First blood! Oh god, it's hard findin' balls now. Ahahaha.
'Cause the balls are all over the place and there's two levels and everything.  Waah! Shit!
Shit! If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball! If you can shoot a robot in the face, you're a god!
Ahhh! Yes! ~Got you in your booty hole, booty hole, I was stuck.~ (giggity)
Laser ball? Shots fire in a straight line. Whoosh! Hahaha! I have no idea if that actually helped or not but I will
take it. Fwoosh! Yees! Awww, so fun! Hahaha! Come here fuckers! Huaah! Shit. Denied! Who was denied?
Who was denied access to the killatorium featuring Jack? Fwoo! Shiiit-balls!
Ahh! Not shit balls (x2) nice dodgy balls. W-What do we have? Laser Shot again? Is that Laser Shot?
Pogo Jump! Hwoosh! Fuck! I keep hoping that they just fire balls in random locations and hit somebody and
then make my--like that! Make myself feel cool. Shit (x4) Don't hit me! Don't hit me, bro! Don't hook me, I'm scared.
*orgasm noise* If I get a ball, you're so dead, Phalanx! You're so dead--Ali killed you already - that's fine.
Maybe I won't kill you then. Whooooah nelly! Fuck!
Boomerang ball! Huuuah--*dies* Fuck it! Who hit me? "Scott hit you."
Scott Scott Scotty tot. I will shoot you in your face! If I get a chance.
Huuah! Yeaaah! Should've used that ball to dodge, bro! It's called dodgeball, not suck a dick.
Fireball? The hell does that do? Well, I-I can guess.
Fuckin' hell, that's scary. That actually is just a...fireball! *double kill* Fuuuck yeah!
I killed two of 'em! That's what I like to see. That's what I like do.
Fuuah! Shit. That was not good (x3) This is a bad place to be for Jackaboy.
Oh god, get a ball. Get a ball and go. Fuuah! SHIIT! I have fireballs and I'm not afraid to use them.
Actually, I'm terrified to use them. Fuuah! Should be someone else over here--Jonathan!
Jonathan, where ya going? Huuah! Fuckin'--The robot graveyard is where you're goin'!
This commentary is just--this commentary's on fire right now, just like my balls.
My--my dodgeballs, not my real life balls.
Oh come on, I should have had someone! No (x3) My ball (x2) Fuck you, Phalanx! *kill stolen* ALI!
Gettin' in the way of my kills. My kills--don't kill steal, bro (x2) Don't steal kill--Ahhh!
Raaah! Motherfuckers! Ah, he was shielded? Ah, I could have had the triple. *insert overly used MLG meme*
This is fuckin' RAAAD!
Most K-Os: Boopy Doopy 13! *claps*
Dah, so much fun! This game is awesome!
Umm...we're gonna be team blue next time. Team Blue - ready up!
*exhales* You guys ready? Bump it. *fist in front of camera* Let's do this.
Let's fuckin' dodgeball baby. 3, 2, 1, dodgeball! That would've been cool. Hyaah!
Shit, I'm not gettin' anything--Huge Ball. Oh yeah, I'm team blue now. I keep forgetting that. Boostatron!
Annnd stop. Fwaah! Yeahaha! He flew into it, Oh that was awesome!
I still have huge balls. I must have a problem. I should go get that checked medically.
Uhhhhhm...Fwaah! *success* Yeaaaah! Who wants to go? Who wants a piece? Everybody wants a piece!
One Piece! *crickets chirp* Dammit, that would have been cool if I did that thing.
Fwaah! Awww, my big balls don't go in the holes that I want them to. (that's what he said)
Loong distance. Homing Dodgeball! I need that! (x3) Fire! *Mega kill* Mega kill!
I feel like this is cheating. *giggles* Hyah! *Ultra kill* Niice. Homing dodgeball is the best dodgeball.
Hahaha! *dies* Aww man! I was having a fuckin' sweet killstreak.
Oh god (x2) Hey dudes! Oh jesus. Hahaha! Run away! They're everywhere! Wuuah!
Just throw balls and hope you hit something. It's like Rocket League. Just throw a ball and score a goal.
T-The fuckin' balls are all over the place!
Just balls in my face all over the place. I don't like this level. It's hard. Huuah! Just like my balls, baby!
Here we go! Ho-Homing ball. Huaah! Got 'em! Homing ball is best ball!
Hyaah! *Duck hunt* Duck hunt! Huaah! Ah, he had a fucking shield! Dammit!
Homing ball (x2) Whoosh!! Did I get 'em? Why wasn't that homing ball? That should have been homing ball.
Okay, maybe I'm too far away. Huaah! Dammit! C'mere! *dies* Little bitch!
Fuckin' Dave, man. Dave sucks. Screw Dave. Who even likes Dave? Dave isn't even a real name.
Huaa--where are you? (x2) Hwaah! *kill* Yes! Gotti! Fireball again--No, I don't want fireballs! I want
homing balls! Hyaaah!
*rage seething* He came up right to my face and he said "Hello" and then I said..."Fuck you!"
Homing ball, baby! Hoho! Triple kill, double kill, multi kill! Ah, it failed last time because I shot at my own dude.
Hwoosh! *does a dance* Thank you! That's how we do - most kills and winning K-O!
*sigh* I'm gonna need a cold shower after this.
Well, I'm gonna leave this episode here of Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball! Fuck it, I almost got it!
Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball.  Yeaaaah! Say that three times fast, it's pretty hard!
This game is aweeesome! I can't believe it took me so long to play it. I'm gonna try maybe play with Mark, Bob
and Wade. I-I'll float the idea to them the next time we go to play stuff 'cause I keep forgetting that this game
exists...*dances* Music's really awesome as well! Anyway, THANK you guys so much for watching
this episode! If you liked it, PUNCH that like button in the face LIKE A BOSS!
And, high fives all 'round. *high-fives* Well thank you guys and I'll see all you dudes *points to camera*
*dramatic pause* IN THE NEXT VIDEOOO!
*Outro Music*
Woo! *dances* Yeaah! That's what I'm all about! Fuckin' throwin' balls at bitches!
That was so--Oh, I'm so pumped right now.
