 
### THE SHADES OF NORTHWOOD 3:

### UNFINISHED BUSINESS

Wendy Maddocks

©2012 by Wendy Maddocks

Smashwords edition

**Smashwords License Statement**  
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

### Other works by Wendy Maddocks

### Stand alone novels

Twisted evil

Into the darkness

### Short story collections

The thrill of the Chase

A Shade too young

### The Shades of Northwood series

Running shoes

Circle of arms

Unfinished business

Kiss at midnight

### Circle of the Fallen series

Angels of America

### Poetry collections

When I was young

Before the dawn

###  Screenplays

RISK

###  Non-fiction

Student: dazed and confused

# Where we left...

"I'm ba-ack!"

Dina was allowed home a few days later, even though the hospital had advised against leaving so soon. There were forms to sign and prescriptions to collect – pain pills and ointment for her scars. She moved straight back into the big room with Jaye despite Katie offering to swap in case she wanted her own space. But the offer was declined – Dina said she never wanted to spend so much as a night alone again. Katie wondered how much she remembered of her time in Room 4. She didn't like to ask though.

"You missed tryouts the other day," Adam reminded Katie the following Monday morning. "Decided to give them a miss this year?"

"Just putting them off for a while. Work's keeping me busy." She put her hands together in a praying pose and fluttered her eyes at Leo. He rolled his eyes at her – not one for light-hearted mockery when it came to his religion, but he was starting to learn that the girls only did to get a reaction – and stalked over to cut and put ketchup on her bacon sandwich. Even the most basic things were impossible when you were one hand down. "I wanted to ask... am I still on for a free self-defence class? You know, when I'm all healed up."

"What happened to the one on one tuition thing?"

She shrugged and tried not to blush as Lainy bounded into the kitchen obviously exciting after getting off the phone. "Still hoping but, you know, team player and all that."

"Well, if you're up for personal training, I could teach you a few things, cast or not."

"Oh, I can't keep it in any more!" squeaked Lainy, the words coming out like one long word. "You're all here now and I can't wait for the house meeting tonight."

"Lainy," Katie said. "Breathe. In, out, in, out-"

"Shake it all about. Shake it, baby, shake it. But be careful not to wake it."

"Not helping, Jaye. Also, doesn't make sense. Now, why the hell are you excited at this time in the morning? It's disturbing."

"Well, that was Dr de Rossa on the phone. We were talking and... how would you guys feel if I went back to nursing? It's only a few shifts a week so I can still be here a lot. But I seem to be patching one of you lot up all the time so I figured... why not get paid for it? I was quite good back in the day and then it was... I had to stop, but I miss it every single day."

"I think it's a great idea. You should definitely go for it!"

After a long pause, which Lainy was too hyper to notice Adam muttered "I think we should talk," then started to clear up.

# Chapter one

"Remember, Katie, you're trying to break _his_ fingers, not yours."

"I'm trying!"

This short, sharp exchange had become quite normal in the Newton Street house over the past couple of weeks. In the beginning, Katie had been reluctant to put any force behind the manoeuvres Adam was teaching her but...

"You're forgetting you're at least twice as strong as me Adam." And she was using her left hand which wasn't the strongest.

"No, I'm not. But the guys you'll be trying this one will be full of alcohol and adrenaline. And that makes them dangerous. Now, push!"

With her hand – the other one was bundled up in a plaster cast and cradled to her chest in a foam loop that went around her neck – Katie pushed down with the heel of her palm and grunted. Adam was a tall guy, broad and muscly too. It was hard to get a decent grip on him but he had spent hours showing her how to get good grips on any part of any body, no matter what size or shape. Well, not _all_ parts maybe. Hand down, grab bollocks and squeeze until something pops was pretty instinctive. All at once, his fingers began to arch up as Katie pushed the back of his hand into the carpet, she laced her fingers through his and started to pull back. When she felt his hand protest under the pressure she let go. "But I have the element of surprise. I mean, no-one's going to expect me to know how to defend myself."

Adam shook his hand out and started to flex his fingers. "How did that feel?"

"Not too bad. It was harder than before though. Were you fighting me?"

"Could you have finished the job if I was?" Answering a question by asking another one. Helpful. "At least you've stopped making straining-for-a-crap face. You need to work on speed though."

"You cheeky sod! I never made poo-face." She made a fist and smacked Adam in the chest with it. He gave an exaggerated wince. A dump truck driving into Adam would probably do more damage to the truck than it would him. Probably. "Maybe a face that said trying to crush your bones is like trying to bend steel rods."

"You're getting stronger."

But learning how to defend herself was not all about strength or even blocking physical attacks – it was about knowing how to control and diffuse situations before they ever got that far. And that was the skill she really needed. Working at a nightclub was reason enough to want to defend herself – working there at age sixteen was even more of one. The things she had seen since arriving in Northwood pushed the need to the edge and the challenges she had facedown just rose up and kicked those reasons right off the cliff.

But Adam didn't need to know about any of that. All he had to know was that he taught self defence, Katie wanted to learn it. There was not much to be done with her forearm in plaster. But the little moves... sometimes they were better than turning an annoyance into a confrontation. "Do it again. Don't hold back and don't stop." So Katie repeated the push/pull action and kept pulling even when his fingers were so far back they should have snapped already. Then he twisted under her and reversed the grip so he was pushing instead. There was a struggle – Katie was determined not to give in – and then the hold broke. She thought she could have broken fingers but whether they would have been his or her own was another matter entirely. "Okay, I'm done for tonight." Her broken wrist was begging for painkillers and an essay on altruism beckoned. How interesting had her life become? When you had nearly died at least twice and actually died once within days of moving to Northwood, tight deadlines seemed kind of mundane. Between making sure her grades stayed high enough to keep her scholarship, working at the club, and doing her fair share of jobs around the house, Katie was spread thin enough. She liked this predictable cycle of eat sleep work. Right on cue, another part of her routine popped up. A pair of thick soles raced across the landing and a door slammed, inviting a stream of abuse. It sounded as though Jaye had just stolen the bathroom from her room-mate, Dina. A high peal of laughter and then the door creaked open and shut once more. The girls shared most things and, tonight, it sounded like make up.

"There goes my hot water," Katie sighed. She had been planning to get somebody to wash her hair but Jaye was incapable of leaving the bathroom with any hot water in the tank – whether she needed it or not. "And here go I."

About half-way up the stairs, Lainy swept in through the front door, bringing in a sudden blast of approaching winter with her. "Hi, sweetie."

"Oh, hey. I thought you were on the late shift tonight."

She shrugged. "I don't think anyone will miss me. I'll be up later. Now, where's that feller of mine?"

Katie jerked a thumb towards the front room. "And tell him to stop beating up on little girls." Lainy looked her up and down. At nearly five foot seven the look took a while. And Katie still had a few more years of growing to do. "Point taken."

As she passed the bathroom where Jaye and Dina were squealing over some new techniques for smoky eyes, a familiar sensation hit. It was a cool, squeezing hand around her insides. Her stomach contracted in both discomfort and longing; not quite pain, though that would certainly come, and a sudden need for the feeling to continue. Because the end result would be worth it. Katie hurried past one open door and one closed one with that talking cat from YouTube drifting through it, and dashed into her small room at the end and slammed the door behind her. The first port of call was the bottom drawer of her bedside table where she kept some Paracetamol. She could dry-swallow them or pop a couple and take them with Red Bull. Neither option appealed but she eventually decided to swallow them dry. She wanted to sleep tonight. A beep came from her prone – a text message from some ringtone firm trying to sell her Halloween tunes. Hmm... tempting. Not. Katie pressed the power button on her laptop and, as she waited for it to load up, eased her cast out of the foam loop and rested it on the desk. It was her right hand, her writing hand, but she could just about type and use a mouse with it. _Thank you modern technology. Can't even get me out of homework._ The essay was about half done. She wanted to finish it later tonight and only have to double check it tomorrow because there wouldn't be time for much else before work.

And then it started hurting again.

It took a moment for the pain to set in but at least Katie was expecting it. She let her mind turn inwards and a ball of silvery energy shot through with purple-black streaks formed in the pit of her stomach, and she focussed on that. It had taken until now to grow that ball of life force into this healthy orb from the shredded mess it had been left in a fortnight ago. That was down to having her new friends around all the time. A little love worked wonders for a girl. Sometimes, though, it felt like love was killing her.

These almost daily visits were definitely taking a toll. Although getting to spend time with Jack was wonderful, it was also torture. An invisible finger dug deep into that silver ball, hooked a whisper thin strand of light and pulled. It came loose and that was painful enough. It unravelled and Katie forced herself back into the real world before she fell into her own soul. The pain wasn't _oh my God_ bad and hadn't been since the first couple of times when all this had been new; more like she was slowly coming undone inside. Each and every tug of that string of light was just pulling another splinter out of her soul. Melodramatic much? This was the most beautiful hurt Katie could ever imagine and she never wanted it to stop because somewhere... somewhere deep and hidden... she knew she deserved it. Only – however corny it sounded, the breath she couldn't quite catch, the waves of tiredness that nudged her edges – none of that even registered when Jack's ghostly image began to form in front of her. It didn't stop hurting.

"Hey," she grinned, putting her hand up to his face – or where his face would be when he was flesh once more. Her skin would always be the first thing he felt. "I missed you."

Jack couldn't speak until he was fully solid so he just smiled in return. And that smile was love. Pure and eternal and invincible. Maybe Kate hadn't completely worked out her feelings for him yet but Jack had loved this girl for so long. He'd waited more than a century for her – weeks, months, a year or more, it wouldn't make much difference. _I missed you too._

Katie jumped. "I keep forgetting you can do that." It should not have surprised her. He had sent his thoughts to her many times but she never expected it when it happened. "You need to start knocking when you want to do the mind meld thing."

Knock knock.

"Not happening, cowboy." Katie turned back to the computer screen which was staring at her and wondering why she didn't love it anymore. Altruism and modern society. There really wasn't all that much to say. It didn't exist any more. End of. "Unless you're planning to share some thrilling new ideas for this essay, I am not _moving_ from this seat!"

What you writin'? Love letter? For me? You shouldn't have.

"Anyone ever told you you can be a right arse sometimes?"

"You love my ass," said Jack, finally solid enough to speak, and turned around to give her a better view of said body part.

"I don't like it when it's interrupting me," she shot back and gave him a light smack on the arm. It was a lie – there wasn't a single part of him that Katie could justly have a problem with – but the truth was, she didn't need the distraction right now... and it was worryingly easy to get distracted with him around. "Oh God, I need someone to do this for me." She put her head down and rested it on her cast, hoping the rough weave of the plaster would scratch some life into her. Giving part of her energy to Jack to allow him to take physical form had drained her and it would take a little time for it to return in full.

He leaned over her, took a look at her screen and frowned. Reading hadn't been a part of basic education when he was young and, whilst his mother had aught him letters before he left home, it still took him a while to figure out some words.

"Jack?" Katie glanced up at him and searched his sea green eyes for something – strength, vitality – anything she could use to feed herself enough to keep awake. All she found there were shadows. Things he didn't want to tell her yet. Things he maybe didn't want to tell himself. But that was too deep, too soon; all Katie wanted was a hug.

"Lady Katie." At some point, that had become the name he used for her – like a cute little nickname. Katie liked it. It had first passed between them just after her arrival in Northwood, she was sure of it, but he had kissed her that night and her memories of the time were blurred pictures and snatches of conversations that might or might not have ever happened. It wasn't that the kiss had been mind-blowing enough to blank her mind – it had been gentle and shy and pleasant – but Jack had a... talent. A special way of making sure he was forgotten. Jack was a ghost. Not a ghost in the spy sense where you just made yourself so incredibly average that nobody had reason to remember you, but a fully-fledged, card-carrying ghost. Of the dead variety. He was called a Shade. One of the things he could do was kiss a person and completely erase him from their memory. Which, all things considered, was probably a good thing. But, when Katie was meant to be in a relationship with said ghost – not kissing was becoming a problem. "Is something wrong?"

_Want the list?_ she thought at him. There was a lot wrong and Jack knew it. He was just doing that male thing of pretending his problems didn't exist until they went away. "Everything I ever knew fell away when I moved here. That should've been enough."

"You told me yourself, everything you knew turned to fear."

"It was a big enough thing, you know, leaving home is the biggest thing a lot of people go through. Ever. So I thought I'd be home and dry because God knows I've been through it," she continued, barely pausing for breath. Now that the words were coming out of her mouth, there was just no stopping them. "But _oh no_ , the world just keeps on piling it on because hey, it's Katie, let's see how much more she can take. Well, newsflash World - Katie can't take any more. I've been beaten up, whipped, nearly drowned. I thought I found friends but I had to fight to keep them. I had to kill a guy to stop him killing us both. And I can't even kiss you because it'll screw with my head." _What have I done? Why is the world punishing me?_ "And my wrist hurts."

"I'm sorry. I don't have no answers for you but the wrist... I can do something 'bout that."

Jack gently placed his own hand over hers and touched her fingertips. Katie shivered. Being touched by Jack wasn't like being touched by any flesh and blood human. His touch was air-light but somehow cool and firm. It sent a tingle through her and it was good. A tingle that made her feel safe. Safety was all she had wanted for some time and Jack had been there to give that. He wouldn't always be around though, as Katie had found out, so she needed to know how to handle herself in a fight. Like every-one, she hoped she never had to call on that knowledge but based on her first month here, the possibility was slim to none. She pushed back in her chair and closed her eyes, breathing deep and preparing herself for the wash of numbness that would sink into her wrist.

And then there was a knock at the door.

"Katie, can I come in?" There was a moment of silence then Lainy walked straight in with no more warning. "Let's do this before I fall down."

"Long day?"

"New lot of students. Think they know it all. They'll learn. Believe me, they'll learn."

"And you get to teach them. They pay you extra for that?"

"As if! No. Goodness of my heart, sweets."

"Lucky you."

In the next second – so fast Katie would have missed it if she had decided to blink – Lainy shot a questioning look at Jack and he just stared back, no response in his eyes. She had found the two of them holed up here together a few times already and, although she never asked how Jack got there, the question was growing. Maybe she knew and was just being polite. "So, how does it feel today?" Lainy asked, taking the bandaged arm in one hand and prodding exposed flesh with the other. All the time she never took her eyes off Jack and Katie just knew there was some silent conversation shooting between them. If Jack could communicate with Katie psychically then it made sense that he could do it with Lainy too. So, in the way she had become very good at over recent weeks (worryingly good if she was honest) Katie split her consciousness in two, letting the very surface take care of what her body was doing, and pushed the rest of her mind over to the invisible level on which her friends were speaking. She felt Jacks' mind nearby, just a wall, closed off and heavily guarded but couldn't see Lainy. Then a snake of purple-black light raced across and there was a tangle of silver sending ripples of greens and blues to another tangle of silver, only this one had handfuls of black threads mixed in. And the blue and green waves began to sing. And the song turned into an argument.

She's 16, Jack. She might look older, act older, but she's still a kid!

You think I don't know that?

I think you know, I think you understand, and I think you'll carry on anyway.

O'course I will. I love her.

You know how many rules this is breaking, right? I mean, you do realise how much trouble you could both end up in?

_I tried to stay away. The first time I met her, I did my job and then I tried to keep my distance. But it wasn't that easy. She's too young for this kind of relationship. There's too much that could go wrong. But logic doesn't really count for much when your heart speaks louder than your head._ Up here, in the dead air between minds, Jack spoke with a rich, deep south accent. Whether it was just because the Texan twang was his native one and therefore the one all his thoughts came in or it was just harder to maintain an adopted accent when he was worked up, Katie didn't know. It was cute. He should speak like it more often. _Surely you went though all this with Adam._

That was different.

It would be, wouldn't it?

We were both over 18!

She knows she can't kiss me. I take her memories away if we do. I can't let her forget me.

Maybe that'd be for the best.

Katie felt something bubble up inside - something furious, something she didn't want to control. She couldn't let this out around her friends. Jack and Lainy continued talking but Katie could no longer focus on the words. A haze of dark light glowed around what she imagined to be her own consciousness and she could barely see the gentle flow of words. She felt like she was floating away from that place. Somewhere very far away, and yet right next to her, there was a noise that shocked her out of this detached state and brought her thundering back into her body. She felt the two parts of her mind slot back together and squash that horrible feeling of being angry and used between them. The sensation was... she wanted to say nasty but a tiny slice of her had kind of liked it. The sudden knowledge that she could be bad and not have to apologise for it was intoxicating. All she had to do was give in.

No!

Where were these thoughts coming from? She didn't want to feel that way. Not about her friends.

Slowly, she became aware that Jack was banging on the thin bedroom wall and bellowing at her last housemate, Leo, to turn down that annoying popcorn music from his games console. Just to be even more irritating, the music went up a few notches before it finally settled at a level somewhere just below deafening. He made to fade straight through the wall and talk to the other boy about something but, at Lainy's warning look, decided to use the door instead. Then it was just Katie and Lainy, looking awkwardly at each other. Things had never been tense between them before, not really, only Lainy was trying to hide the conversation she had just had with Jack, and Katie was struggling to hide the fact she had heard it all. She couldn't wait for her 18th birthday – the day there would be no more secrets in this house. She wanted to be able to talk to Lainy. Tell her how her whole world was tearing apart.

"So, you two are good now?"

"We're getting there," the older girl answered with a shrug. "He thought I went back to work too soon." Katie frowned. "A few years ago, I was in a car accident with my dad. He died and I didn't. I'm a nurse and I couldn't do anything to help the poor sod. I never went back to work at the hospital after that. I just set this house up with Adam and took care of you. It used to be enough but I needed to go back to nursing. I needed to know I could still make a difference."

"And he didn't want you to?"

"Oh, he did. We talked. I just accepted the offer before I spoke to him. There were things we were going to do."

Before Katie had a chance to ask what kind of things, Jack stormed back into the room and leaned against her wardrobe, jumpy but not breathing fast. Not breathing _at all_. His eyes were dark and flashing. He looked shocked. Haunted.

"Okay, it's looking good. I think we're done here." Lainy fiddled around with the foam loop, guided the cast back into it, "There. That should take the pressure off," and left. She was right – it felt lighter and easier now it was back against her chest.

"Jack, what's wrong?" She went over to him, took his chin in her hand and forced him to look at her. He might have 150 years on her but when her loved ones were scared or in danger, she was damn well going to be the boss. Whether she wanted to take charge of this was something she would find out in time. The answer would probably be no. But for now... something had shaken Jack, given him that haunted look, and she knew it had to be dragged out before something else happened. And there _would_ be something else – disasters never came on their own.

"It's nothin'," he said and shook the worry out of his face.

"Come on, Jack. You don't have to be macho around me. Hell, I've been in hysterics when you've been around me and I _never_ cry in front of people." Okay, that wasn't all the way true. People had seen her cry but only her nearest and dearest and only when she couldn't help it. Every now and then, tears were more powerful than words. "Something's got you worked up."

He tore his gaze away from her and fixed it on his scuffed boots. That only brought back memories of how those scratches had got there and that was a bit too close to home for the moment. He didn't want to worry Katie with his troubles. The girl was just starting to go a whole day at a time without looking over her shoulder for somebody trying to jump her – he wasn't going to take that freedom away from her. "It's nothing you need to worry about Lady Katie."

"Okay, now I really think I need to know."

"I just... I jus' saw a name. It freaked me out a little."

"A name?"

"It was my name."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry about it. Back in my time, my name wasn't the most uncommon."

Jack turned bright green eyes on her and tried to catcher gaze. If he held her brown eyes then everything would be alright – Katie would lose herself in them and her questions would die away, and no more questions meant he didn't have to give her answers to. Answers that would only make more problems.

"Has something changed between us? Because I thought we were going to start telling each other things and I can tell you're not telling me something important."

She was right. And he wanted to tell her what was wrong. He really, really did. It was only the fear that stopped him – the dreadful certainty that she would work herself up over a tiny thing. Because that was what Katie did. She took an insignificant moment and made a drama out of it and then when something truly momentous happened she just... didn't.

"I mean, that's what a real couple does. They tell each other their hopes and their fears so the other one can share them. I want that for us."

"Oh Katie, I want that too. And that's why you have to believe me when I tell you this is nothin' important." But it was. But it was something he would deal with alone. Jack crouched down and sat down on the floor, pulling a blanket off the bed to cover the both of them with. "You know how sometimes you see a stranger writin' your name, and you wonder how they know you? It turns out to be their name because a million people have the same name."

"You promise?"

He nodded and put an arm across her waist. "Promise," and then he felt guilty for lying to her.

"You know, the bed is much more comfortable."

"Exactly. When you get cosy, you forget there are some things you shouldn't oughta do."

She eyed him with doubt. They had already done quite a few things they shouldn't have but it probably wasn't wise to do any more of them... or think about them. "You're changing the subject."

"She's smart. Points for that."

"Stop it. Stop treating me like everything's the same. You're keeping a secret from me and if you are, I want to know it. I want to help Jack."

"You are. You're helping me forget I was ever worried."

Katie reached down inside her for that tangle of energy and brushed the surface of it, feeling the hum of life all around it. She could try to pull a thread out and reach into his mind and just take the words from his mind. It would be easy. Not painless but if they couldn't talk this out then their relationship was already heading for the skids as far as she was concerned. No. They weren't in trouble. Jack wasn't keeping some huge secret from her. She didn't need to know every tiny detail. She was just being paranoid, looking for problems where there were none. Just so used to fighting that anything even resembling a problem provoked that challenge response in Katie. "You're right. I'm being silly. We've got a couple of hours before I have to go to bed. We should spend them on us."

_Doing things your Daddy'd kill me for,_ Jack finished the thought. He glanced at her and covered most of his face with the brim of his cowboy hat. There was a hint of a blush under it. It wasn't that Jack was particularly prudish about physical intimacy or that he had suddenly come over shy near Katie. If that was the case then solving it would be simple – sleep with her and get all those fantasies over and done with and never have another care about such things. It was the fact that their relationship was... unconventional, to say the least, and they had found more creative ways to be close to each other.

_My Daddy will never know,_ she thought back at him. It was easier to think when he opened his mind to her. She leaned back against Jack and turned her face into his chest, breathing death in. Somehow, it didn't smell the same as it had on some other Shades. Well, the ones who were trying to kill her, to be specific. Then, death had smelled foul; like rust and ashes and acid. On Jack, it had the same notes of something old and used up but also of something more... something desperate. He was quite a dark Shade apparently, and that basically meant he had to spend a lot of time in some other world with other dark Shades, and so smelt of the grave. Lighter Shades – the ones who spent all their time in this world – were clean and could smell of whatever perfume or cologne they wore. On Jack, the stench of death was just an undertone Katie was getting used to, mostly hidden under lingering fragrances of straw and horses.

He put one arm over her shoulders and leaned back until they were lying on the floor. "You said your wrist was hurting?"

She did her best to shrug. "Pain killers have kicked in. It's not too bad."

"But it could be better." He laid one hand over her cast and closed his eyes. _I don't want you to rely on tablets and chemicals._

And I don't want to rely on ghosts.

As she watched his hand slowly sank through the half inch of plaster and gauze and padding, and into that thin cushion of air between the cast and her wrist. Katie instinctively tried to pull her arm away- listening to her eyes yell that there was a hand ready to grab her broken bones, while her brain calmly whispered that he had a magic touch, that she wouldn't feel a thing. Her brain was wrong. She did feel something. It wasn't pain, the eyes had got that one wrong. There was a strange sensation as his hand brushed her skin, just she imagined the sieve felt when flour fell through it. Then there was a coolness creeping through the bones in her wrist, centred on her radius, cooling it down from its agitated state of trying to knit itself back together. Until this process started, Katie had not even realised how much discomfort she was in. _Just got used to it, I guess._ Her bones stopped itching and burning and slipped into a satisfying numbness. Feeling nothing was far better that feeling her insides itch. And just as this calm was spreading through her right forearm, Jack let his hand sink deeper – almost soul deep. _Uh-oh._

He melted further into her body than was strictly necessary and the room blasted into another dimension. Katie could see her bed, her furniture, her window, but they were all overlaid with swirls of moving colour and light. The swirls were the energy everything had – moving things (like her computer) were imbued with energy of their own because of the potential for life they bore, but other things – large, inanimate objects like desks and drawers gave out echoes of the energy of people who had used them. Most things in this room glowed with her life force but there were smudges of brightness left by her housemates as they came in. It was so nice just to be able to see a tiny glimpse of this magical world again. She turned to Jack to thank him for showing her this world –

Oh God. Oh Jesus, Jack was so gorgeous in this new vision that it hurt to look at him. He was still Jack, no aura or surrounding glow. There was a tiny flame deep in his chest. Katie tried to rub the back of her hand over it, suddenly needing to feel the warmth it gave – it was tiny but looked so intense, so destructive – but she came up against a wall. His actual chest. And it was cool again, not cold, but a good few degrees off room temperature. What kind of heat could he deliver if he just allowed himself to touch that fire? Katie frowned at him for a second – a thought occurred and two things clicked in her head – but she couldn't seem to keep her thoughts straight. Something to do with Jack being full of this _un_ feeling and it maybe having something to do with him not wanting to talk to her about... what? She'd forgotten and she hoped to hell that he wasn't making it that way. And then the puzzle lost all importance.

Something moved behind her. A mess of letters and books swooshed to the floor, moved by an invisible gust of wind, and fluttered to cover half of the dark carpet, leaving trails of gold and orange in the disturbed air. She tried to trace the lines the things left and giggled as she tried to catch the ends. It felt silly and giddy and exactly right.

Jack caught hold of her hand and together they stretched straight up – his hand twisted around hers. Katie glanced across at him. There was a moment of absolute perfection between the pair, joined skin on skin and so much more, and then it was gone. Broken. Shattered. Logic was trying to fight its way to the surface. And logic – cold, cruel logic – said that they couldn't be together like this, couldn't be this happy, they hadn't earned it. Only, this moment was so perfect, so intimate, neither of them wanted to interrupt it.

"But- "

"Hush. You think too much. Stop doin' that."

"I have to think."

"Why? What is there beyond this?"

"College, work, family and friends, running, not getting myself almost killed...."

"You need to stop worrying. Look, you got Jaye and Dina back, the sheriff can't hurt us no more. You're nearly a straight A student. You ain't got nothin' to worry about so just... quit it. Okay?"

But how could she? How could she really? So many things in this town to worry about and Katie had... actually yes, Katie had beaten all of those things. She had died and came right back to carry on. She had broken her wrist and gone straight from the hospital to join in another fight at Shimma. Even when she had seen Jack killed and lying in the middle of a storm, she had faced his murderer and won. Through the tears and the blood, Katie had carried on fighting and now she was realising that she deserved this peace, this rest. This year had been – traumatic, if that wasn't too big a word – with everything that had happened since coming to Northwood, the reason she came here at all, and having to suddenly stand on her own two feet with all these new relationships and demands on her time after sixteen years of her family's protection and care. So yes, she had earned the right to enjoy herself and just be a teenager for a while.

"Incoming!" a voice yelled out, sounding hollow and strange. She didn't recognise it but then even her own breathing sounded alien in this state of seeing. Something whizzed through the air, slicing it like a knife. Katie sensed it heading straight for her chest long before she saw it. Even then her reaction time would be far too slow to stop the spinning thing from hurting her so she relied on her instincts and shot her left hand straight up above her head, desperately hoping that her reactions were accurate enough to stop it.

It was a vain hope. Her left hand was not her strongest and, even though she was learning to rely on it more and more, it still didn't feel as natural as her right. And it told.

She caught the thing hurtling towards her body but not before a sharp point on it carved a split down the pad of her index finger and across the palm. It started stinging but only a tiny, ignorable bit. Her hand closed around the object and she whipped her hand back down to her chest to absorb the tiny shockwaves.

"Thought you might want it back."

Jack blinked and rolled away, up to his feet. Katie looked down at the thing in her hand, a silver disk with spikes, and crawling with red lines and smudges. Hate and anger, pure and ugly and limitless. It started getting hotter as she looked at it, quickly hot enough that she yelped and dropped it to the floor, half-expecting it to burst into flame and burn a hole in the carpet. Her vision snapped back to regular three-dimensional viewing. She saw a silver badge lying between her knees when she got up; just an ordinary badge with no powers of emotion. Still, she didn't want to pick it back up. Just in case. Katie watched it carefully and when she was satisfied it wasn't going to jump up and bite her face off, she raised her head and looked in the direction the badge had come from. The sixth housemate, Leo, was standing by the open door and looking at her with a puzzled expression. "Maybe without the attempted amputation of all my fingers?" It wasn't hard to guess why he looked that way. He had spent a bewildered few weeks trying to get his head around the idea that half of his friends were dead or about to die. She didn't think he had come to terms with the idea yet. It was no easy task.

"Did I interrupt something?"

Katie brushed her hair back from her face, sat back at her desk and handed Jack her new green and white striped scrunchie. "Please?" He obliged and started tying her long hair up. Boys should never be let loose on other people's hair but Jack had gotten quite good at this over the weeks Katie had been unable to do it for herself.

"I interrupted. Oh well." He didn't care. As if she had expected Leo to be human and leave them alone. "Anyways, bitch... hey, what freaked you out?"

"Bit late to the compassion party, Pointer."

"'Scuse me for giving a crap."

"What do you want?" The older boy _always_ wanted something. Leo wasn't the type to enter into any kind of social interaction without a damn good reason. "Oh yeah, don't cross that line."

"What's he doing here?" Leo glanced over at Jack with something just under out and out hate, and just above distrust. It was hard to believe that these two had fought side by side just a couple of weeks ago and had had each other's backs. _Unless Leo was trying to stab Jack in his._ Which was more likely the case. It made her giggle and Katie had to cover it with a very fake-sounding cough.

"We're teenagers with crazy bad hormones. Hmm? Whatever could we have been doing?"

"Whatever. You'll be the one gets hurt."

Katie sat back in her chair, tipping it as far back as it would go without being in danger of tipping all the way over, and took a longer look at Leo. Blue eyes, dark hair starting to grow back on his DIY skinhead, maybe an inch or two taller than her. He was a few years older too but the fact he didn't appear to have shaved in days made him look even older. In addition to that, his plain white shirt and black jeans looked as though they could walk to the washing machine by themselves. The jump from a steady eight or nine hours a day of college work at home to working so hard at the academy that you only slept between deadlines didn't look good on him. "Boy, you need to sleep or someth- oh, wait," she said and tugged a can of Red Bull out of the case by her desk and held it out. "Works." She waited for him to take it.

"You're a freak. You hang out with dead guys, you work with dudes who could batter you, you always find trouble... fact, I reckon you go looking for it. You're a freak, bitch."

"And yet you're the one still in my room." She shrugged the best she could. Letting Leo know his presence was getting on her nerves would just encourage him to lurk some more so she turned back to her computer. The essay was going nowhere fast so checking email was a good substitute. Not that she was expecting anything important. "Spam, spam, you've won the Nigerian lottery. Buy our crap. More spam. Yeah, I should clear my inbox out." There was about a month's worth of junkmail – she hadn't even deleted anything since she had the computer. The most interesting things in today's box were a quick HI HOW R U? message from her sister and a red flagged one from EVENTS at the academy. A lot of them came through but most of them went to her college email address. When had she ever given them her real address? Still, insurance companies and ambulance chasers seemed to get her mobile number from somewhere..."You still here?"

"Well, I'm not leaving you alone with him."

"You got a problem with me?"

"Man, you're a walking corpse." He let that sink in for a moment but he wasn't telling them anything new. "You're an abomination. You break all the rules of man and God. And you walk in our world like you're one of us. It's wrong, man, and you know it. All of you – none of you should still be here."

"Maybe I have a job to do before I get too Heaven."

"If you're still on this planet after you die, you ain't getting to Heaven."

"And you reckon Saint Peter lets prejudiced pieces of shit through the pearly gates?"

"I might not like you and I certainly don't trust you but at least my heart still beats."

"I'm an abomination, right? Unnatural? Why the hell should I even _look_ human?!"

"You tell me."

"I'm not some monster, Leo. I used to be human and, okay, I'm a shadow of it now but I'm here and I'm not leaving so get used to it!"

Katie rolled her chair back and threw her good arm out to keep a safe few feet between the boys. "Guys! This is not getting us anywhere. You don't like each other – we got it. No-one's asking you to be the best of friends. But Leo, you need to trust him with me 'cos seriously, big girl now."

"You're alive and he's not. He's taking a little bit of your soul away every time you see him. You shouldn't be with a dead man."

"Jack's never tried to hurt me and, anyway, who I give my soul to is none of your business."

"He'll kill you," he said simply and walked off.

Jack got on his knees and shuffled over to Katie, his face nuzzling in her ear. His breath tickled her, warm and light. "I think somebody's jealous."

"Jealous? Of us?"

"Mm-hm. I got the prettiest girl in town and he only has the Bible and an old copy of Playboy."

"Ewww, bad thoughts!"

"Extremely bad. I should be ashamed of myself." He dropped his head to her shoulder, dotting kiss all the way down the side of her neck. Katie put a hand to his cheek and smiled. Being with Jack was so hard most of the time. Moments like these, the rare times when they could just be a regular couple and do some of the things any other pair of teens would do, these were the moments she lived for. No rules. No 'we shouldn't'. Just lust and a great big dollop of fun. "I'll be good."

"No, good means stop." And that wasn't an idea she loved.

"I'm a bad, bad influence."

Jack kept nipping at her neck. "Hey!" Katie made a half-hearted attempt to push him away but didn't really put much effort into it. She had work to do.

"It'll still be there in the morning."

"Exactly. It still won't be finished in the morning either."

"Okay." Jack reluctantly rose to his knees and went over to the bed. He sat down, back pressed to the headboard, and draped one of her blankets over himself. "I'll be here when you're done but I want you to know I'm feeling unloved."

"Good to know." She watched him for a second – waiting for him to make a move and coax her back into his arms. Hoping, not waiting, because he really wouldn't have to coax very hard. But when it became apparent he meant to stay where he was, Katie turned backed to her screen and clicked on her EVENTS email. _Miss Cartwright. Regarding the prize draw held on the first of October, we are pleased to tell you that you have won a prize._ Huh. Must be something she did at the open day or something. _You have been awarded a psychic reading with Mademoiselle Romani, a travelling fortune teller guest lecturing with us._ It was just signed Levenson Academy of Sports and Action – no name or reply address. It was probably just an automated thing but still... Katie was way more excited than she probably ought to be. She never won things. The odd cuddly toy or tub of talc on raffles but never anything when there were other people to compete with. "Very cool," she murmured, low enough that only she could hear it. There was a time, date and place written underneath which she scribbled down.

Afterwards, she founds that she deeply didn't want to do her homework.. it went on her TO-DO list for the next day – along with college, training, ironing (her turn already?) and a four hour shift at the club. Anyway, the sky was properly dark now. Sleep time.

Shut the world out, sweetheart. There's bad people out there.

Jack, I thought you were asleep.

I don't sleep.

Katie stuffed her slippers back on and padded over to draw the curtains. She'd had these cloudburst ones since she hit her teens but they were one of the few things of her childhood she hadn't quite outgrown. Drawing the curtains... such an easy sounding task. Surely she could do that without screwing up somehow. She knew it was only paranoia – irrational and fleeting – but she had a vision of something going horribly wrong. And, maybe because she was thinking of it, it did.

Mostly.

On her way back to bed and Jack, her fluffy slippers caught on something and she fell forward. The lethally spiked silver badge was lying slightly to he left. She twisted as she fell. And the badge came hurtling towards her face.

"Katie!"

But Jack couldn't move fast enough to stop her fall. Katie squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the impact of the floor and the agony of the badge slicing into her face. Leaving it lying around had been a dumb thing to do and, really, it was just waiting for a face to disfigure. Half a heartbeat later, the bruising shock of eight stone of Katie getting a short, sharp introduction to Mr Floor crashed into her. Another heartbeat in which she realised holding her breath wasn't going to make any difference, and the needle sharp point of the badge didn't slice into her. The really bad pain sometimes took a while to seep through the blanket of shock. Another few seconds and still nothing. Tentatively, Katie cracked her eyes open and glanced around. There was rather an interesting view of the junk under her bed. So... definitely on the floor. And there was the badge... one point poking through the thickest part of the foam loop around her neck. If that hadn't been there then the silver star would have been stuck in her neck and her carotid artery would be pumping.

Relief flowed like laughter. Even the roaring in her bones couldn't stop it.

"Sorry," she hiccupped. "Must be my lucky day."

# Chapter two

"This is wrong. So so wrong."

It was halfway through Katie's shift at the club and she was more bored than anything. The last couple of weeks at Shimma had seen a steady drop in numbers as people started to get back into the swing of their studies and partying took a backseat. There were still a good few dozen hanging around the bar and sitting in seats and a clump of bodies writhing together on the dancefloor, but she was nowhere near rushed off her feet. Less shouting voices to drown out meant the music could be a little quieter. So that was a bonus.

A couple of the other staff were covering the floor and the other end of the bar. It was running like a well-oiled machine for once. Everyone was getting their order orders quickly and they hadn't messed up once; no-one had fallen over or started a fight; there was not even any graffiti in the toilets (it was her job to check). She shoved a glass under the rum optic and added a splash of coke. Then repeated the action with vodka and cola. "It feels weird, serving you."

"It's weird being served by you."

Katie slid the two glasses across the bar to Adam and glanced behind him to where Lainy was ripping it up on the dancefloor. "She's... energetic."

"We both needed a night out. It's been a long couple of months."

"Yeah. I guess I haven't exactly been the poster child for house guests."

"No, it's not just you but you know... with Dina and everything. She feels really responsible for not noticing."

"There's nothing either of you could have done. I mean, who knows what was going on inside her head."

"Dina's got this idea she's going to die soon."

"We all die sometime, I guess." She decided to leave out the par where Dina had been literally standing on the very edge of death not so long ago. It was for the best. "Hey. I'm going to see a psychic at the weekend. Maybe she'll tell me everything's going to be fine for the rest of the year."

"You think so?"

_No. Not even slightly._ But she just gave a crooked smile and shrugged. "We've been through the mill, huh? I've lived here – what? – six or seven weeks and where-ever I go, there's trouble or danger."

Adam leaned over the bar and touched her arm. There was a neon yellow line painted down the middle to show clubbers how far they could go without getting bounced but she would waive the policy just this once. "It hasn't gone unnoticed." She frowned at him but no further explanations were forthcoming as Lainy started to make her way over to the bank of worn out leather loveseats and flopped down into one, breathing hard and sweating. Adam turned and went to walk away but Katie called him back. "Hey. You going to pay for those?"

He did. After sorting out his change and serving lager and peanuts to some lads watching football on a tablet computer, Katie shot a look at the couple on the loveseat, cuddling and giggling, playing with each other's hair like loved up kids and sighed. When Lainy had decided to go back to nursing, the pair had been on rocky ground. It had been touch and go whether they would make it for a couple of days. The whole thing had seemed to revolve around Lainy going back to work too quickly but Katie had picked up on the slightly too long pauses before they answered he questions, the flash of shadows and secrets when Lainy tried to spin a story, the flash of panic in Adams when he thought he shouldn't answer a question truthfully.

"Hiya!" A new, cheerful voice broke into her thoughts. "Margherita time!" it was Marcie.

"Night out?"

"Mrs Daeburn's sitting Freddie and probably sending him hyper on that blue pop. Which means I'm out for a night on the razz."

"So you came here?"

"It's not so bad. Good music... usually, good company and good prices." She thought about it for a second. "Plus, there aren't a whole lot of other choices around here."

"And I thought you were here for the scintillating atmosphere."

Katie stirred her friends' drink to create bubbles and watched them dissipate. It was a little trick she had developed to keep the aggressive ones calm while they waited, and it ha just become habit to do it every time now. Marcie slid over some coins, downed her margherita in one with a shudder and pointed towards the cooler and a bottle of her own blue pop.

"I'm due a break." Katie uncapped a bottle of alcopop and one of orange juice. She followed Marcie over to a cluster of tables and hopped up on one of the tall barstools. "Anything interesting happening in your world?"

"Absolutely nothing. Getting a bit tipsy tonight might liven things up for a while. The cast. It's gone."

She had clean forgotten that the weight on her wrist had gone. A hospital appointment earlier in the day had shown Dr de Rossa that her broken bones were beginning to knit back together, so he had decided to replace the heavy, clunky cast with a tight and stiff brace. It was still looped close to her chest but it was much more wieldy. "They want to see how I get on with this for a while."

"Did they let you keep it? I kept Freddie's when he broke his leg learning to climb stairs. All the babies did hand prints on it. I'll have to show it to you one day – it's really cute."

"Uh-huh," she agreed. "I didn't keep mine. I don't want a reminder of how I got it."

"You never told me."

"There was a fight when I was trying to help my friend. She just grabbed my wrist and squeezed until I screamed. She didn't mean it though – I know she didn't."

"Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than me."

"I know she didn't mean to. She just wasn't in her right mind."

"And this sparked the whole 'I need to learn to fight back' thing?"

Had it? Was the real reason she had been pestering Adam to teach he self-defence because she was worried one of her friends might turn on her once again? It didn't seem right. Then again, plenty of things didn't seem right in Northwood. "Recently, a lot of people have hurt me and working here makes me a lot more vulnerable. I don't want to be an easy target."

"I still can't believe you got a job here. I mean, you wouldn't even get in if you were legal age."

_Thanks, Marcie. I want to lose my job for being underage._ "Seems you have to be 18 to do a lot of stuff around here. All the fun stuff anyway."

"Trust me, things are not all they're cracked up to be."

"Mikey!" Katie yelled out, and signalled to their fast emptying bottles. He brought more over and frowned at her. "Five minutes more."

"We're hardly snowed under."

"Still. I'm not going over my break"

"Suit yourself." And then he wandered away.

"So, any exciting plans for the weekend?"

They had fallen into a tradition recently of spending the afternoon and evening together every Saturday – a film and dinner with Freddie and then wine and a film after he was in bed. Marcie hadn't been at all happy about letting her drink or watch 18 certificate films, but Katie had assured her it was all fine. After all that had happened, she doubted there was much left to scare her. "That new animation with the talking food comes out tomorrow. We should take him to see that." Taking the kid to the cinema was also a good excuse for Katie to see all the films she was excited about but to embarrassed to go and see alone. "And then I've won this free reading with a psychic. Mademoiselle Romani. You ever heard of her?"

"Mademoiselle Romani!" The name alone seemed to get Marcie bouncing around. "Oh, Katie, she's meant to be really good. I'd kill for one of her readings."

"You should come with me. Maybe she can do you at the same time. It should be a laugh at any rate."

"Don't you believe in that stuff then? It's pretty good if you remember it's open to interpretation."

Katie drained her juice and glanced at her watch, tilting it this way and that until it caught the light just right. "I haven't made my mind up yet."

When she got home at half past eleven that night, she walked into a silent house. And it wasn't the comfortable kind of silence which meant everyone was asleep. No, this was the strained silence of a house that had just seen another row. Not the kind of atmosphere she would go to sleep happy in. But finding out what the row had been about this time seemed like it might take a while. Conflict resolution was so not her job. The adults could deal with it but the kitchen, their usual stomping ground, was empty. Lainy and Adam must both still be at the club, even though she couldn't remember passing them on the way out. A bowl of fruit salad lurked in the back of the fridge. Quieting her roaring stomach sounded like a very good idea. Taking her fruit through to the living room and knowing she was walking straight into the eye of the storm, Katie noted that Dina was curled up on the sofa with Jaye sitting protectively at her side. Leo was on the edge of the chair opposite them and staring the girl down. No-one noticed her in the doorway.

"You don't hate me. One day, you'll be like me. And you'll never want to be anything else," said Jaye after a while.

"Look at her," replied Leo, flapping his arms at an oblivious Dina. "She never wanted to be one of you."

"She was scared."

"And she thought she found a solution. But you couldn't let her go, couldn't not bring her back. And now look. You call this a life, knowing it'll all be over soon?" He carried on speaking but Katie wasn't in the mood to listen to any of it. She took the rest of her fruit salad up to bed and sat in her room eating it. Nights were starting to get chilly now, but they were still a good way above the sub-zero the thermometer would read in the next month or two. Even so, Katie swapped her shoes for fluffy slippers and her clothes for cosy PJs and a dressing gown. There. Eskimo chic. Just as she was settling back down to the rest of her snack -

KNOCK KNOCK

A moment of silence. If Katie was really quiet then maybe who-ever was knocking would assume she was asleep and go away. It didn't hurt to hope.

KNOCK KNOCK again. The door cracked open and Dina poked her head through. She looked around then slid all the way in, closing the door firmly behind her. "Hey. Is it okay if I come in?"

Katie didn't bother answering because the other girl was already in. Instead, she waved her into the desk chair, easing her aching wrist onto a pillow. It was cushiony and took away the dragging effects of gravity. "I thought you were asleep."

"Just pretending. I was listening to the others though. Why do they think they have the right to debate my life and death and whatever happens – or doesn't happen – after it?" Dina pushed her short dark hair back and repeated the action over and over, nervously. "I mean, how can they know what will happen to me? Maybe I don't deserve to come back after what I tried to do."

"Dina, of course you deserve it. I doubt you'd still be here if you didn't." She badly wanted to go over to the girl and hug her, pat her arm, _something_ to make her feel better, but she wasn't sure yet how comfortable the older girl was with hugs. Katie herself wasn't the most touchy-feely person in the world but a good cuddle eased any kind of pain.

"I know we haven't really talked since... the hospital." Dina fell into a silence.

Katie dropped her head until she was staring at the carpet. That week or so when Dina had been clinging on to life by straws and the entire house had taken shifts beside her bed had been one of the longest in memory. How much did Dina even remember about what had happened? "Things have been kind of crazy since – well, since I turned up. Maybe none of this would have happened if I'd never come here."

"But it probably would have and there'd have been nobody around to save me."

"There's-" The name about to trip off her tongue stuck in her throat.

"I wanted to believe it was Jaye. I kept trying to tell myself it was her."

"But you knew it wasn't?"

"It _was._ Everything about Her was Jaye... just meaner." In her coma, Dina had been whisked away into the End Place – a world which served as a kind of limbo for souls who had died before they were meant to. It was an oddly beautiful place. The weather was cool and calm, the land was a verdant green, but there was no life. Literally. The Shades there were the only life. And they were only alive in the very loosest sense – hanging somewhere between death and life, whilst it was decided whether they were ready to be a ghost. "She pushed me to the edge and I thought... I thought I was going over. It was that close. And I was so scared."

"Everyone was scared."

"If I'd known what was going to happen... Anyway, it doesn't matter now, does it?" She shrugged, her pale brown skin glowing in the full moonlight coming through the curtains. The scars on Dina's wrist were barely visible in the harsh day but were like pink slashes in her even skin. She saw Katie staring at them and quickly pulled her jumper sleeves down further to hide them. "It doesn't scare you?"

"Only if I think about it."

Dina sat for a moment and thought about it herself. Katie had risked so much to save her life a few weeks ago – was it fair that she had to die herself after all that? Well, no, nothing in this town was fair. In all honesty, no-one had asked Katie to come running to the rescue. Make no mistake, Dina was grateful that she had, more grateful than she would ever have the words for, but the young girl was too feisty; she was going to get herself in real trouble one day.

Katie drew the curtains and then slept. She saw herself do it but when she woke up, she wasn't in her bed, her house, nor any part of town she recognised. She didn't know where she was or how she had got there. It didn't seem to matter. What was important was that she had fallen asleep while there was still a job to do. Only she had no idea what that job was. Wait... something was coming back to her. Run. She had to run.

Ahead of Katie stretched a long white corridor. The floor she was sitting on was cold and smooth – bleached out concrete. Her back screeched when she tried to get up. Must have been asleep, half lying there on the floor with her shoulders and neck twisted awkwardly into the wall for hours. Funny how she didn't ever remember falling asleep. Slowly, Katie eased herself to her feet and stretched up. Her rightarm was no longer looped to her neck. It didn't even feel sore.

RUN. You need to run NOW.

Where the voice had come from was unknown – everywhere and nowhere at the same time. But it didn't sound like the kind of voice she could afford to ignore. In one direction was an endless looking stretch of corridor, gradually darkening the further it went. Behind her was a shorter corridor and this one had a thin rectangle of shadow where another corridor emptied into it. Right along the left wall were small windows at waist height and set deep into the wall. She crept over to one window, tiptoeing though not knowing quite why, and peered out. There was nothing outside. Not nothing worth noting or nothing much. Just, literally... nothing. Grey swirled beyond the glass. Slightly different shades of grey all drifting through each other and this was interesting/boring when something unexpected happened.

The glass rattled.

Something practically took hold of it and shook it.

Katie yelped and jumped back. She wanted to go closer and see if there was anyone out here, anyone at all. Footsteps, too many sets of them to count, shuffled towards the corner of the corridor. Toes of shoes, trainers, boot, peeped over the edge.

I told you.

The wall Katie was backed up against was oddly smooth. She smacked her palm against it, suddenly remember she was here to do something. This was happening to her because she wasn't doing it. Wasn't running.

Run and they'll follow you.

" _I'll take my chances," Katie breathed as those feet crept closer. She glanced behind her to make sure no-one else was coming from the other direction, trying to close her down, and when she turned back, bodies filled the opening._

Breakfast was already on the table. Cereals and toast. There were two spaces at the table - Dina, who had decided to take some time off college to get her confidence back and was probably still in the land of Nod, and Adam. That absence was more unusual. He was always buzzing around the kitchen, trying to feed everyone to bursting point.

"Hungover?" Katie asked.

"He decided to spend the night with some friends. I expect he'll be back later." But Lainy didn't look convinced.

Sharing breakfast that morning was a strained and quiet affair. Civilities were retained, and violence did not erupt – something to be thankful for – but neither was there that ebb and flow of friendly ribbing. Katie was the only one who had not been on the sharp end of an argument, and had no grudges to bear. For once. "Anyone going to finish that?" No-one answered so she took the last slice of toast and spread butter on it.

After breakfast was done with and the four of them had cleared away, Katie ran back up to her room to make sure her bag contained her running clothes and all the homework she needed for the day. She had let her books at home one day last week and had felt so bad about it she had grown paranoid about double and triple checking it. When that was done, Jaye and Leo were standing by the front door, arms crossed and staring daggers at each other. Ostensibly, they were waiting for her so they could walk to Levenson Academy together. It felt like a forced truce in war. "Show me those Friday smiles." And that only got a ghost of a smirk. No way was Katie going to try to build bridges between these two. "Come on, then. I hope they've got the heating on today."

The trio – Katie slotted herself between Jaye and Leo so they had to go through her to batter each other – walked along in a tense hush for a few minutes, and the Jaye broke it. "Jack hangs around a lot, huh? Things getting serious?"

"He's not good for you." Leo chipped in with his contribution. "He's one of them."

"Just 'cos a guy is life-challenged, it doesn't make him a bad person."

"You're biased. O'course you don't think there's anything wrong with it."

"There's not! I died young, Leo, before I even had time to start living."

"But you came back and, for the last time, the dead don't belong here."

"You think I had a fucking choice?! First time I opened my eyes, I knew I was dead. Hell, I even went to my own funeral. And I hated it at first. Thought I didn't deserve it because... I didn't deserve anything good. I'm here and you are not getting rid of me." That last part sounded more like a warning than a promise. Maybe it was... for him.

"Guys, please!" Katie hung back a step so both of them had to turn and look at her. She'd had enough of the fighting. "This has gone on long enough."

"I can't help what I am."

"I don't care. We have to live together, whether you two get on or not, so can you just agree to hate each other quietly and leave the rest of us out of it."

"Never started nothing," Leo grumbled.

"Who started it, why it started... couldn't care less. I'm not dealing with this crap off you!"

Two pairs of blue eyes stared back at Katie, shocked at her sudden fire. Wasn't she the mediator? The one who wanted to keep peace and harmony in the house? They watched her storm off towards the college, shaking her head, slowing to a resigned trudge by the end of the street. There wasn't much chance that Leo and Jaye would ever be the best of friends or even any kind of friends. He had barely trusted Jaye not to stab him in the back with every blink when they had been forced to fight together a few weeks ago. Something – some- _one_ – had possessed her and made her do some horrible things towards her friends. Katie had evicted the dark spirit, but only after it had hurt her badly, put her in the hospital in fact. Jaye wanted to make the spirit pay before it had a chance to find another body to possess and wreak more damage, and ad teamed up with Leo and Jack to send her back to the End Place. For the moment, it had worked. Leo could be counted on to step up when it mattered but he was never going to be happy about it.

"What's up with her?"

"Not sure, but I'm gonna find out."

It was still dark when Katie went out on Saturday morning. She had woken early and showered and dressed as quietly as possible so as not to wake the entire house. She had done it successfully which was kind of amazing actually although there was a slight noise issue when she tried to unlock the front door and it stuck.

Outside, no lights went on in any of the upstairs windows. Katie laced her running spikes and headed down to the track.

No-one was around at this (admittedly stupid) hour of the morning. The athletics stadium the academy owned wasn't even open but she knew how to slip the lock on the chain link gate. Roy, the supervisor of the stadium, had told her in secrecy that the lock could be picked with a coin and the ink tube of an old biro. The office was empty. It was early for anyone to be down here on a weekend. It was too early for any sane person to even be awake. Warm up first. A few stretches, jog a couple of circuits, some jumps and lunges. Never the most fun part of the workout but if she exercised with cold muscles she risked straining something, and with her wrist starting to ache again, further damage was high on the THINGS TO AVOID list. Running endless circuits of the track had seemed like a good idea when she woke up. Bad dreams had disturbed Katie's sleep pattern and she was hoping that she could tire herself out this morning and then be able to go home and sleep for a couple of hours before meeting the psychic that afternoon. There was nobody around. Katie decided she would have a little fun messing around in the jump pits and bouncing on the crash mats. This was the kind of simple pleasure she'd needed all of her running career so far but been too shy to do. When her former teachers had been watching over her, she had done nothing but work and train and now there was nobody to frown at her for having some fun.

But, eventually, the games grew boring and she started running laps.

Jogging around a springy, purpose-laid oval was much easier on the joints than road running. No pot-holes to dodge or lumps and bumps to negotiate, but neither was there that glorious feeling of transitioning from the pavement to grass; pushing through over-grown brush and picking over fallen leaves and branches, the wind streaming through your hair as you raced over open green fields towards the edge of a cliff and then-

Woah! What the fuck?

Katie stamped a foot down hard, braking as hard as a muscle car pulling an emergency stop at 150. She tried to chase the thought but the brightening day and the steady yet slow trickle of people into the stadium was already distracting her. Whatever the thought had been, it was nice. It held so many promises of reward and release. She hated feeling that way; so out of control and wildly dangerous. So _free..._

"Going already?" asked a tall, red haired man she vaguely recognised.

"Been here since nearly six," she answered back.

"Sure." He didn't look like he believed her – no reason why he should really. "Go on, you little skiver."

"I'm going, I'm going." Katie held up her hands in mock surrender and edged past him. Most of the students were nice and friendly but there were a handful she wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. Luckily, she had heard rumours and done her best to stay out of their way.

"G'mornin' Miss Katie!" a new voice rang weakly through the air. It was coming from Roy's tiny office some yards away. He didn't have the usual mad scientist, just-been-electrocuted hair thing going on today. In fact, he looked positively frozen wrapped in a thick coat with the collar turned up to cover his ears.

"You look like you need defrosting."

"Oh, me heaters broke." Roy kicked the dull bars of his portable heater. "Academy say they ain't gonna buy me a new one till November."

"Well, that's mean."

"It's money, ain't it. They gets the new winter budget then."

"Oh. I guess it makes sense then. Lots of hot drinks and a good lunch every day will keep you right. My Mom used to say that."

"Smart lady."

"I always thought so. How are you and Bernice doing? Haven't seen you down at many of the night events lately."

"Ooh, I don't like making her go out when it's cold and dark. She'd like to but I get worried. Neither of us is getting no younger."

"I need to go but trust me, Bernice is the last person I'm worried about."

She'd seen Bernice around the town once or twice and caught sight of her at a few sports meets recently. Bernice was the typical old lady – short, grey – exactly how Katie pictured elderly women in general, and yet she was the most hale and hearty looking woman she remembered seeing.

A couple of hours sleep, a shower and some lasagne later, Kate was ready to head down into town to meet this Mademoiselle Romani. The whole idea of fortune telling and predicting the future sounded like crap but she found she was a lot more open minded since moving to Northwood. A couple of months ago, she would have laughed at anyone who claimed ghosts existed, that men in her dreams could hurt her, that there were other worlds than this. Maybe there was a lot more out there she needed to learn.

Where the main road began to morph into a less well-kept highway, Katie glanced down at the sheet of paper on which she had scribbled the address. Penniton Row. She was sure she had seen that street sign on her previous explorations but had never been along it. Penniton Row was a small street of two storey shops which looked run-down and half abandoned. There was a body at shop called Ink Exchange, an off license, a dress fitting shop whose sign was too faded to read, the most crowded stationery store she had ever seen called Write Now and a garage which she couldn't imagine got much custom because nobody in town drove. Well, apart from one bus, one ambulance and the occasional brave (or foolish) person passing through. Nevertheless, there was a car outside and a man lying so far underneath it that only his feet were visible under the bumper. She checked the address again and walked back up to the tattoo shop. The email had definitely said she was meant to meet the psychic here. She peered through the smeary window. It looked clean enough inside, but the dilapidation of the area was enough to put her off getting inked here. Actually, the thought of the vibrating needle was enough to put her off getting inked anywhere. It was almost two o'clock. Marcie should be here already. Wandering back up the street to look for any sign of her friend, Katie found her mobile out of her coat pocket and speed-dialled Marcie. Another phone started shrilling not far away. It was coming from the garage. She tiptoed over, hoping that it would somehow disguise her arrival – not that the looming early afternoon shadow attached to her feet gave her away or anything.

Katie took the phone away from her ear but didn't end the call. It was definitely Marcie's ringtone crazily beeping out the Mexican Hat Dance. The feet poking under the car twitched at the loudest part and some incomprehensible gibberish drifted out. What was this grease monkey doing with her friend's phone? The run-down area suddenly took on a more sinister hue. Maybe he had done something to Marcie? Maybe he had stolen her valuables?

And then a young boy ran out of the shadows of the garage, darting from darkness to darkness.

Katie disconnected. It was time for her to go into the tattoo shop and meet with Mademoiselle Romani. Some tiny voice whispered that she needed to find Marcie. She wouldn't just not turn up without letting her know. _Something must have happened._ She was just turning to walk off when the feet pushed out from beneath the old car, revealing dirty brown cargo trousers. Then, further, was an oil streaked peach coloured t-shirt and then someone sat up, got to their feet and wiped oily hands on a towel.

"Hey. You'll be late."

Well, this was unexpected. "Marcie?!"

"Freddie, wait there okay? We shouldn't be too long."

"You're a mechanic?"

"Not a very good one."

"Bet business is slow."

"I just rent space and work on my car. I just got this idea about it. Used to work for my grandfather, in his garage, when I was your age... loved getting greasy and mucky ever since."

"Ewww. Rather you than me."

Marcie grabbed her towel and tried to wipe the worst of the dirt from her face but mostly succeeded in smearing it around more, then zipped a clean jacket over her top and headed down the street to Ink Exchange. "You ready to see your future?"

"No. Maybe this isn't such a good idea. I mean, what if she tells me something I don't want to hear?"

"Then it's up to you to prove it's not true."

"But what if it is true and it's just full of doom and destruction? It's freaking scary!"

"Katie, whether it's true or not, this lady only predicts the future as she sees it. You can always change it."

"So she can basically say anything she wants and if it doesn't come true, I did something to change it."

"Mademoiselle Romani's got a great history. I hear she's very accurate."

And then they were inside the body art shop, idly browsing the displays of jewelled body bars. There were tongue bars, belly bars, sleeper studs with multi-coloured gems in. Just looking at them made Katie wince. She had pestered her mother to get her ears pierced for her tenth birthday, but once was enough. Besides, with all the training stretches, it just wasn't practical to be constantly worried about a piece of metal pinging out of her navel all the time. And the risk of it getting caught on something and ripping her flesh... urgh, she shuddered again.

A woman swept through the open door leading to what was presumably the back room. She was dressed in a long gypsy skirt with layers of thin gold and green muslin wrapping her torso in warmth. A headband of white roses kept her long blonde hair away from her face. It was impossible to tell her age beneath it all but she didn't look much older than Lainy.

"Mademoiselle Romani? Wow!"

Mademoiselle Romani nodded, smiled at Marcie and then zeroed in on Katie. "You're her, aren't you? The girl who knows too much."

"I'm Katie, if that's what you mean."

"Yes, of course. You are here for your free reading, I presume. Come through, come through." She waved them both past her and into a small room, which had apparently once been used for storage. There were shelves and cupboards everywhere but the place was decorated with lengths of twisted crushed velvet and silk, thrown roughly over surfaces and taped to the walls. In the middle of the room was a round table with names and crude diagrams carved into it. That surprised Katie. She had a vision – probably pieced together from every film or TV show she had ever watched – of a table covered with a multi-coloured covering, usually with beaded tassels at the edges, with a crystal ball on top. The closest thing to a crystal ball on show here was he goldfish bowl on one of the shelves – complete with plastic castle, astronaut and, if she looked closely, a shy little fish was poking his face through the castle drawbridge.

"Ah, that's my pet, Bobby Fish."

"Bobby Fish?"

"I had to give him a last name."

"In case he forgets he's a fish?"

"You never know."

"Okay, so what do we do now? I've never been to see a psychic before." Katie reached up and wiggled her fingers in the fishbowl. Bobby Fish swam up and kissed them. "Seriously, Marcie, you should try this. It's so cute."

"Aww. I can't reach. You have fishy kisses for me. I get Freddie kisses anyway."

"You ever been to one of these?"

"Only at festivals and stuff. Just actors with crystal balls and a silk scarf. You know... you will meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger. As if!"

"You won't," said Mademoiselle Romani unexpectedly. They had been so engrossed in their own conversation, and watching Bobby Fish do his thing that they had practically forgotten there was even anyone else in the room. "There's no more time for strangers. The only people that matter to you are right here."

Marcie swallowed hard. The reading was for Katie – how had she just got roped into it?

When Katie turned to the table, Mademoiselle Romani had spread a silver silk sheet over it and had dragged two chairs over to face her. "Please. Sit down, both of you."

She did, trying not to bite her nails nervously. It had taken years to break that habit but it was so easy to fall back into bad ways. "So."

"Is there anything specific you'd like to ask?"

"Umm..." Katie chewed on her lip as she thought. There were plenty of things she wanted answers to but right now she couldn't think of a single one of them. "Not really. I think you probably see a lot more than I can imagine. That's what you call it, isn't it? Seeing?"

"Seeing, knowing, reading, they're just words." Mademoiselle Romani had laid a deck of tarot cards on the table and she began to cut and shuffle with a practised hand as she spoke. "It all comes down to the same thing in the end. It's intuition. There's no rule to this craft, no good or bad. Sometimes you look at a person and you get a feeling of whether good things or... not so good things will happen to them."

"And what kind of feeling do you get off me?"

The psychic sat back and stared at Katie for a minute. Then she leaned forward and touched her hand to the strapped up wrist. "I'm sorry. It wasn't meant to happen that way." Then she went back to shuffling her well-worn cards. "Let's just see what the cards say. Cut."

Katie did as she was asked a few times and then glanced at the silk sheet as he cards were laid out. The rippling silver silk seemed strangely captivating. There were patches of white where it caught the light and thundercloud grey where shadow streaked the sheet. It reminded her suddenly of the sight she had seen inside herself a few weeks before. There had been a short period of death and all Katie could see inside herself was darkness. Organs, bones, blood; it was all black and dead. Nothing moved. And a moment of shock and anger later, she had felt... good. The pressure to keep living, the exhaustion from just remembering to breathe every day, it was all gone. She had been dead and she hadn't minded. That fact alone should have been enough to shake her but it didn't. She wanted to feel like that again: have that freedom once more. And she knew all of a sudden how she could get it back. All she had to do was touch that darkness inside, that ball of light energy laced with twists of black and deepest purple. _Lose yourself to it. It's so easy._ And then suddenly all that darkness was filling her up, pushing at her edges and she had to let it out.

Had to had to had to...

"Katie, you okay? You look weird."

"Okay, the cards are out."

She looked up at Mademoiselle Romani, then across at Marcie who was staring at the spread out tarot deck, her comment seemingly already forgotten. What was she doing here? Sitting in a backroom of a tattoo shop in the bad part of town? It just didn't sound like something Katie would do. And yet it sounded exactly like it. Curiosity had always been one her downfalls.

"And?"

There was an instant of total still in the room. Katie felt it even though she didn't think the others noticed it. It was probably shorter than two heartbeats but for that second no hearts _did_ beat. No-one breathed. Not even Bobby Fish swam. The world stopped. How she knew that, Katie had no idea, she just did. This utter peace – what did it mean? It just felt wrong. Really wrong.

Then the world snapped back into action like an elastic band.

"I've seen people with much worse readings than this... ut never in this town."

"That's bad, right?"

"Not necessarily. What do you know about your friends?"

"I know that I can trust them with my life," she said instantly and regretted it right away. Could she trust them that much? They had all saved her life or prevented her risking it over the last few weeks. But would she have let them if she had known there was a choice? Would she give any of her friends the responsibility to choose whether she lived or died? What if they made the wrong choice? "They've been good to me. They made me feel really welcome here, really accepted, when I was afraid of everything. I can trust them with anything."

"No. You can't." Mademoiselle Romani stared at the tarot cards. The one in the middle was Justice – one of the Greater Arcana. And it was upside down. "You see this card? It's for Justice and upside down it means the opposite. For you, it means you can't trust all the people you think you can. They will betray you. I can tell they don't mean to hurt you, don't mean to be disloyal...but they will. Some-one will come."

Sounded ominous. "Some-one will come. Who? Why?"

"I don't know."

Aah. Now this is more what Katie had expected. Vague predictions that sounded like they meant more than they did.

"I can't see their faces. I'm not even sure they _have_ faces. And they don't want to hurt you. It's the last thing in the world he wants to do. It looks like a he. Have you had any strange visions? Déjà vu? Things that are just too big a coincidence to be chance?"

"Only most of my life."

"What do you mean?"

"I've always felt like I never really fitted into my old life. And then I came to Northwood and the strangest things have been happening," and one shared glance told Katie that she did not have to explain all her recent history to the woman before her. A good thing because she had no desire to face up to Marcie, who still thought Katie was blissfully ignorant of the ghostly aspects of town. "And I think, at first, I just went into some sort of survival mode because I didn't want to die. And now I feel like I belong here. I was brought here for a reason and maybe that reason is to fight. To live life in the way I never could have before."

"That's interesting." It was? "None of my clients have ever been this open or honest with me. Mostly they're impressionable and believe anything I say – some will leave convinced black is white if I say so. Or they are sceptical and closed off; determined to prove this is all a sham."

"And is it?"

"I don't think so but you can decide for yourself. One will come. One will destroy you. One will obliterate everything you know and love."

"Cheery future isn't it?"

"I want to tell you something better but the cards... so many reversed. Let me see if the crystals say anything."

She opened a drawer in a cabinet under the table and rummaged around for her crystals. In the meantime, Katie glanced across at Marcie. She seemed fascinated by every move the psychic made. At least one of them was having a good time.

A handful of lilac tinged crystals scattered over the table. Some skittered over the cards, but Mademoiselle Romani seemed not to mind, even gave a satisfied snort when they landed anywhere but on top of the Justice card. One landed on another of the Greater Arcana – the High Priestess. It meant something when these things happened, but for the first time in her career, Mademoiselle Romani didn't know what it was. The formation of the crystals appeared random. It was anything but. "I don't think I can tell you anything else today."

"Oh."

"I wish I could but these stones... I don't know. I can't see anything."

"I'm invisible?"

"That's right. Things are going to happen and they haven't been written yet."

"Okay. Well, thanks for... thanks."

"Wait." Mademoiselle Romani grabbed two of her cards and the crystal that had landed on one of them. It was Justice and the High Priestess. "These are your cards. What you are and what you will be. The crystal – it chose you. Maybe they will help."

"I'll... take your word for it. Come on, Marcie."

Marcie, an inch shorter than Katie but still feeling so much bigger, put a maternal arm around her shoulders and guided her back out to the street. Over the last couple of months, she had become almost a surrogate mother to Katie. The young girl had become a bit like the daughter she had never had. Of course, she wouldn't let her underage daughter drink, watch 18 certificate films, work in a club famous for it's clients drunken antics. In fact, Marcie wouldn't let her own child live in Northwood at all if he was old enough to leave.

"Maybe she was just having an off day?"

"Just because she couldn't give you anything specific doesn't meant she isn't right."

Katie dropped the tarot cards and crystal in her inside pocket. "I'm not saying I don't believe her. She might have got something right. I don't know. I guess I just expected... I don't know."

"Psychics don't see individual events. They get these images and feelings and they have to try and marry them up with what they can learn from you."

Down on the corner, a small, sandy-haired boy was kicking a football against the front wall of the garage. Katie watched, hand in pocket, as he turned tricks with the ball that she had never seen done outside Premier League matches. How could a kid of six, going on seven, be this talented? Freddie caught the ball and started bouncing it with one hand, suddenly a child once more, looking up in wonder as the ball soared metres above his head.

"Something wrong?"

Katie winced.

Yes, something was horribly wrong. Thankfully, it was something she might be able to stop.

A hand – big, invisible, undeniable – squeezed her insides. There was a familiar coolness to it. _Not a good time._ The hand loosed her stomach but she could still feel it there. _Not now,_ she thought at it, warning now. "Left my phone back there," she said, jerking a thumb back at Ink Exchange. "Won't be long."

Marcie watched the young girl pivot on her heel and head back towards the tattoo shop. It wasn't that she was worried for her exactly, but she did wonder if Katie actually knew what she was getting into. And then she looked at her young son playing keepy-uppy at the end of the road and the only person she was concerned for was him.

The bell above the door was jammed with a rolled up newspaper so it didn't ring when Katie re-entered. She was so focussed on what she had in mind that the cold pressure of a few minutes ago had been completely forgotten. She didn't notice that the hand was larger and rougher than Jack's. But it was familiar and it was not important enough to register. Jack could wait. At least until she got home. No. Thinking about Jack, which is what she couldn't help but do as soon as his name popped up, was just a distraction. And distractions went useful.

She opened the door to the backroom, half-hoping to find it deserted so she could find her new phone and slip out unnoticed.

Only half.

Instead, Mademoiselle Romani was standing on a plastic crate and sprinkling flakes of food into the fishbowl. She held a silver mobile phone in one hand. "I took the liberty of programming my number in. I think I'd like to know how things turn out."

"Everything will be fine."

"Of course."

Katie reached out, snatched her phone back and put it in her pocket. Mademoiselle Romani hadn't so much as jumped, flinched, when Katie had first spoken. She told herself that her return could not have been predicted for any reason other than getting her phone back but a voice kept whispering. _What if she knew? What if it's true... what if it's all true and she knows?_

"You saw something." It was not a question. "Something you didn't want to say in front of me or my friend."

The woman who called herself psychic stepped back off the red crate. Feeding her fish was one of the few pleasures she had now that was completely normal.

"Marcie's outside and as for me... well, there's nothing you can say that could shock me." Katie walked over to one of the chairs and sat down, arms folded. She wasn't leaving here without some kind of answer. "Tell me what you saw."

"You won't leave until I say, will you? And there's no point lying to you. You'll figure it out soon enough." But she couldn't turn around and look at this girl; this girl who was so young and so old all at the same time. Just _couldn't._

"So?"

"I saw what any psychic worth her salt would see. I saw the point where your future ends. And, if you're not careful, it'll be very soon."

"Oh."

Katie wanted to move around. She wanted to scream, stamp her feet, have some rational reaction to learning her future was about to end. But the words were too fresh in her mind, too new, they had no meaning yet. Or not enough meaning. "You saw when I die."

"I don't know. Maybe you're destined to do something I'm not allowed to see. Maybe your life is going to change at some point and it just can't be predicted. All I saw was you as you are now – with that brace on your wrist and stars in your hair – and then it went black. You blocked me out."

"I didn't do anything!"

"Not you. The person you're becoming."

Katie got to her feet and backed out of the room. Of course the other woman would know she had gone so she didn't know why she was bothering to be quiet. Seeing fortune tellers had been the one activity she'd always made fun of at school. But she had known, hadn't she, really deep down inside that it wasn't always rubbish. Sure, the dressed up drama students were faking it to get a passing grade and a few laughs, but there had to be truth in it somewhere... it just had to be true when it came to her. Sods law. Never any good news on the horizon for Katie. There was just no way that doom and gloom could be too far out of reach around her. She had wandered, in a daze, through the shop front and was leaning on the glass-topped counter, staring down at the polished floorboards. It seemed to calm her, detach her further from this body and mind until she was a still, peaceful core inside herself. there was no point getting so depressed over this. Things had always worked out thus far; they would again. And if they didn't... they didn't.

And that was okay.

A hand, stronger than before, squeezed Katie, ripping breath from her longs, and she could not order this one away. It wasn't that she wouldn't have tried to. She just wasn't fast enough. Everything that happened in the next minute seemed to happen in one awesome blur of movement. Katie closed her eyes tightly and thought of the running track – good things had happened there, she was safer there, stronger there, better there – and tried to ignore it as she felt her muscles reflexively contracted and tried to make themselves as small and invulnerable as possible. Something very important tore loose inside. Katie felt her short fingernails scrape along the smooth glass counter as she scrabbled for traction.

Then her eyes were open and she knew she was awake and in Ink Exchange. Only she couldn't see anything and she couldn't move-

And she was falling.

I've got you.

A large hand appeared under her head when Katie was just inches from the grave. _Grave?_ she thought vaguely but couldn't grasp the thought to explore it. It didn't matter in the slightest. She was safe. Her cowboy had hold of her, was wrapping his arms around her and carrying her over to the threadbare trio of armchairs in front of the counter and sitting her in one, and he wouldn't let anything happen to her. Wait. Her mind tried to swim back into logical thought. _When did Jack start being able to lift me? When did his hand get that big? Why did it hurt that much? Wrong wrong something's wrong._ But it was Jack. She couldn't see him just now, couldn't focus on anything right now, but it was Jack. It smelled like sunlight and straw and a life gone stale. It was him.

"G'd afternoon, lady," a voice said.

Katie rubbed her brown eyes, vaguely thinking she could do with taking them out and dipping them in cold water before putting them back in, and glanced up at the older man looking down at her with concern in sea green eyes. Eyes she knew and trusted. They just weren't in a face she knew. Just as she opened her mouth to ask a question, the wedged bell above the door didn't ring. And until Marcie cried out with something akin to alarm, no-one even noticed her there, watching the two people in the shop stare at each other.

"What's going on in here? Katie, who the hell is he?"

# Chapter three

"You're Jack's father?"

"That's right."

"His father? As in you married his mother and had Jack? That kind of father?"

"Do you know many other kinds?"

"And you nearly killed me because..?"

Katie, Marcie and this man who called himself Jack's father had found a bench outside a corner shop and had sat down with cartons of drink. Rather, the two young women were sitting with drinks whilst he just sat and shivered, watching Freddie kicking his ball against a wall again. It wasn't that cold but if this man was from Texas, like Jack, he probably wasn't used to anything below 20 degrees.

"Another question. What are you doing here?"

"I'm so glad he found you at last. For one hundred and fifty years I've watched him flitting between this world and that, trying to find you. And now he has." He stopped trying to gather his thoughts. He had something to tell this child, something to ask her, that he knew he had no right to. "It was torture, you see, having to watch your own son be so unhappy for so long."

"But he's got me now. And I'll never do anything to hurt him."

"No, I don't believe you would."

"Sure, it hurts a little when he takes my energy to come through but when he's here... that all gets forgotten." _Because he is the only thing that matters._

There was a minute jerk as Marcie broke out of the shocked paralysis that had been holding her. "You _know?_ "

"He loves you. I don't know if he's ever loved anyone this much."

"And I love him too. Well, I want to be with him more than any other boy I've known. I don't know if it's love because it's different to anything I've ever felt before but... shutting up now." Katie didn't tend to babble on quite so much when she was nervous – in fact she tended to do the exact opposite and clam up – but talking to your dead boyfriend's dead father had a way of bringing out the crazy.

"He never knew I was watching him. I hid myself because I thought seeing me would cause him pain."

"I can't believe you _know_?" Marcie was still stuck on that one idea. "Who told you? What do you know? How long have you known?"

"Since the day I moved here." Katie frowned and thought back to all the blank spots in her memory from the weeks leading up to the move. "Maybe longer. It doesn't matter how I found out or what I know – it's probably more than you can handle anyway – I just do. Do you have any problems with it because there really are more important things." It came out sharper than Katie had intended.

"It certainly makes my life a whole lot easier."

"You mean I was making things difficult before?"

"I was on my guard all the time, making sure I never slipped up or said the wrong thing. Now, I can just talk to you without having to censor myself first."

"We still need to be careful Marcie. I'm not supposed to know anything yet – I'm too young – and Jack says it might get us both into trouble."

"Jack?" Marcie asked, not having heard the previous conversation.

"My boyfriend."

"My son." The older man tipped an imaginary hat to her.

"This is getting serious. I'm not sure I can take this in. You look like a cowboy just died and gave you his clothes."

"I was born in 1810, lady."

"Then that means..." Marcie paused, eyes widening as she put the pieces together. "You're dating a Shade."

"Correct." She turned back to the gruff looking man at her side. "You couldn't have been very old."

"Oh, by early 19th century standards, I was living on borrowed time when my boy was born. But that's not important right now."

"You came here for a reason, didn't you?" Katie asked, knowing.

"I needed to know he was happy. I love him and nothing matters more than seeing him safe."

There was something in the way he said it that made Katie file it away to unpick later. His eyes held none of the shadows and secrets that haunted every Shade she had met so far. There was a purity there, an untouched concern for his son. It was refreshing to see some-one who didn't have all the baggage she was used to dealing with.

Marcie threw an arm around Freddie when he wandered over. "Then you understand I need to keep mine away from all this. I'm sorry but I can't risk anything happening to Freddie... him hearing anything." She twisted her face to Katie, her expression unreadable. "I guess tonight's off. Talk to you later?"

"Yes, of course." She watched the young woman walk to the end of the street and vanish around the corner, knowing that she had hurt Marcie terribly by not telling her this secret and feeling bad that she didn't feel worse. "What's your name anyway? Jack never told me."

"Lawson. Henry Lawson.

"And I need to ask you a favour."

Oh, hadn't she known that was coming? Still, what had Mademoiselle Romani said he would come? _One will come. One will destroy you. One will obliterate everything you know and love._ Those had been her words. Well, Mr Lawson was certainly here; she felt ripped apart inside; and when the obliterating started, Katie would start running. She had an awful feeling that it wasn't going to be long.

# Chapter four

Bodies filled the end of the corridor. Katie stood, frozen, for a moment that seemed like an eternity. She squinted her eyes at the figures in the corridor. Her eyes were good enough anyway, she thought, but she was trying to tell herself that squeezing her eyes into slits would bring the faces, the individual features into focus. They couldn't all just have blurs for faces. That was impossible, wasn't it? People had faces – eyes and ears and noses – but these didn't. Once upon a time they might have. Now, they looked like someone had put a sweaty thumb down and smudged their faces into indistinct messes before the ink had dried. But she thought she knew these people.

People? _a voice questioned by her ear. Katie slapped it down._

These were her friends.

She wanted to run to them, to beg them to take her away from this strange, cold place. Take her home. Far away from all of this.

But her feet were locked into the ground and she could not take one step towards them.

You can run. You MUST run. _It was that same voice again._ But in the other direction.

Away from the arms of the ones she loved?

And then, moving as one, the mass of bodies moved towards her and she knew in that same instant, knew with every fibre of her being, that they meant her harm. Katie turned on one booted heel, non-plussed at why she was wearing work boots under a hospital gown that was a size or two too big for her and spotted with blood near the hem. At least the gown was loose enough to run in and the boots were thick and sturdy. It would have been just like Katie to imagine herself into stilettos and a pencil skirt... which wouldn't have been very helpful. Her feet would move. They would. It took a few seconds of work, precious seconds in which she knew these friends-but-not-friends were gaining on her, but finally her legs gave in to her orders and started moving. Her knees kept locking up, her joints seized up at odd moments, and her normally smooth and controlled running movements became lurching. But she couldn't take even a fraction of a second to slow down and massage them into comfort. There was a shadow at the end of the corridor. It got closer with every step – she knew it did, that was how physics worked – but in this place... each step brought it no closer.

But it's no further away.

If she could just get to the corner then she would be safe. There was a way out beyond that corner.

Katie felt like she had all but blinked when the slamming front door jerked her awake.

"Huh? I wasn't asleep," she told the empty room. It was the truth – or it was as far as she remembered. There were taped lecture notes coming from the speakers of the stereo and a copy of Dubliners by James Joyce her English teacher had decided to torture the class with on her lap. No wonder she had fallen into a trance. The hospital grade pain killers she had just popped had probably contributed. She shook her head in an attempt to clear the blissful fug of sleep from her mind, put her book aside, and headed for the kitchen to see if there was anything she could help with.

Lainy was armed with two bags of food shopping and Adam had been given the important job of carrying the beer in. There were two crates of assorted lagers and ciders and a bag of plastic cups and straws. "Are we having another party?"

"Not until Halloween but we just space all the food and drink out over a few weeks."

"Apparently it makes it look like you're spending less." Adam shrugged and dropped his load onto the floor. The clanging of the cans inside would probably have set off foam volcanoes if anyone opened a can now. "Besides, I don't think I could've carried another box." A month ago Adam would have flexed his biceps just to let them know he definitely could have, but he would have done it in a way that you couldn't miss even though it seemed casual. Today, those rippling muscles were safely hidden beneath the scuffed sleeves of a leather biker jacket.

"Hey, have you taken something?" Lainy grabbed Katie by the jaw and frowned into her face. She was too pale and her pupils were dilated beyond the norm.

"Just that stuff Dr de Rossa gave me the other week. I know I should have come off it by now but I didn't take anything this morning and it just decided to wake up."

"I didn't think you'd even have any left by now."

She hadn't taken the co-codamol as prescribed in the first place so she still had plenty in her bedside table. When the pain in her wrist got bad and Jack had been around, he used to sink his hand through her flesh and numb the itching of mending bone. "Just found a couple left over."

"Well... okay. Promise me, sweetie, that you'll tell me if it feels out of the ordinary."

Katie held up three fingers in a boy scout salute.

Right then, Dina blew in and decorated the table with books from the library at the academy. Katie picked one up. _Calligraphy in the twenty first century: commercial._ Sounded fascinating. They shared a quick look but Dina broke it. Neither of them wanted to speak to the other. It was just hard to know what to say.

"Ooh, Halloween's coming then," Dina noted. She had been here last Halloween. Maybe a party was a tradition.

"No sampling," Lainy warned as Dina started eyeing the plastic bags. But they contained only basics like bread, butter, milk, juice and the ever-present ready meals. This is what passed as nutrition for the average student. Yum. She shot Adam a strange look as he sat down heavily and rubbed his hands over his face. "Given up?"

"Putting away... women's work."

"Yeah, he does think trainers belong in the fridge," said Dina.

Katie finished the sentence. "And pants in the microwave."

"Hey, when it starts getting really cold you'll be thanking me for that idea."

"Uh-huh. Grateful already, Yoda."

"Any chance you can cook people food again one day, Katie? I mean, that lasagne you made before... before – was like to die for yumtious."

"Kind of busy this weekend. Sometime before the holidays though."

Just then, Lainy shooed them all from the kitchen so she could put everything in its rightful place – the way the girl organised the cupboards was an absolute mystery to Katie. Who else would keep Cornflakes in the bread bin? None of the other cereals... just the Cornflakes. She was glad of the escape to be honest. A part of her was just a bit too whacked out from everything that had happened in the last hour or two to deal with normality. Once in her room, Katie crumpled onto the bed and looked angrily at the open door. It was just a few steps away but it was few steps too far. It was the doors' own fault for not shutting itself. after a minute, the girl pulled the side of the duvet she wasn't lying on over her face and pointedly ignored the knowledge of the open door, losing herself in the choking darkness.

Thoughts came unbidden.

Whether she wanted to or not, Katie found herself facing memories of all he physical injuries she could still have been healing from – whip slashes on her arm and forehead, hundreds of bruises and cuts from her fall at the pool, a lungful of water from nearly drowning at the same time. She should have a bullet hole in her head, if not a shattered skull and brain damage. There had been a strangling incident; which would have left bruises and angry red fingermarks around her throat. None of those marks had scarred her perfect, young body. The only thing that showed itself was the brace around her wrist. And it was a clean break, according to the doctor, shouldn't take long to heal or present any problems down the line. She should be thankful for that. _But it's not the scars you can see that matter. They heal up and fade. It's the ones you can't see,_ she thought. There were tears streaming down her face now, or maybe they were just stinging the edges of her eyes – Katie didn't know, and she didn't care either. Everything hurt and...

The thought escaped her as her phone beeped a message. She fumbled around for it, knowing it was in _one_ of these pockets. Leo. Why the hell was he texting her? Were they text buddies now or something? Open message or delete. The two choices on screen glared at Katie and, for a second, the options confounded her. Eventually she hit the button to open the message. MEET ME AT THE LIBRARY. BRING THE BADGE. The text was simple enough but she took offence at being ordered around. She fired one back. ?WHY? But she was reluctantly scrabbling her way free of the clutches of comfort by the time one dinged back at her. YOU WANT ANSWERS DON'T YOU? MOVE IT BITCH! Yeah, 'cos calling her names was really going to get her moving faster. God... men! They just didn't get it.

Oh well, it wasn't like she had anything better to do with the rest of the day. But the silver badge was not in the back of her top desk drawer where she had kept it before. For a while Katie had kept it hidden behind her pencil case and the phone and MP3 player chargers – didn't want anything to do with it. And now when she actually did want it, it had gone walkabouts. Rooting around more and more, taking things you to see if it was hidden under papers and old letters – including one from the police station in Worth, her old home town – it struck a dull pang through her heart when she saw it but she didn't want to think about that, not now – did not make it magically appear. Then a mental replay of Wednesday night started acting out around her. Jack, looking more scared and unravelled than she had ever seen him. Leo, a satisfied grin on his face but dark blue eyes tinged with concern. There was shouting, a moment of pain, a spot of blood, and... and yes, there it was. Nestled between the corner of her bed and her bedside cabinet, right in the corner where she must have nudged it with the vacuum yesterday. She picked it up and shoved it in her pocket. Something tickled her mind, a dim idea that something was terribly wrong somewhere.

The library at Levenson Academy was attached to the back of the Humanities wing, where religion, social studies and psychology were normally taught, but it had a direct door so there was no need to walk through the echoing corridors of the college. On her way over there, Katie slowed her leisurely walk further to stop and stare at the ambulance flashing away outside the athletics arena. Something was going on. It was just human nature to want to creep closer and look. So she joined the throng of other students ringed around the commotion. It was hard to see from the back – Kate was so used to being tall enough to see over everyone's heads – but these weren't half grown 16 year olds any more. Muttering apologies and excusing herself further to the front, she caught sight of two paramedics sliding a figure on a stretcher inside the van, jumping out and shutting the doors behind them. Through the slim windows in the side, she caught sight of a shock of grey hair and an oxygen mask covering the face beneath it. A third paramedic with TECHNICIAN emblazoned on his back was sitting next to the figure, fiddling with a machine with one hand and rifling through a navy blue duffel coat - for ID most likely. That coat... she had seen it earlier, turned up against the chill.... She knew the hair too... it hadn't looked quite so wild last time... Roy! Oh God, it was Roy in the back of hat ambulance, tearing of the grassy patch and around a corner. She gasped and took off after it, as fast as she could, all plans forgotten.

It took just a few minutes running at top speed to get to the student medical centre. Her feet kicked up tiny pieces of gravel as she raced across the hospital grounds and screeched to a stop. The ambulance was already here, idling by the emergency doors which were swinging shut behind the paramedics. She should go right in and... do what? Just _be_ there. A simple enough job. Not one that Katie thought she could even do, let alone do anything useful. Deep breath. In... out. It helped a bit but it didn't make the hospital seem any less daunting.

"It looks like a scary place, doesn't it?"

Katie turned quickly – so quickly it was a wonder she didn't give herself whiplash – and found herself staring up at a young man dressed in green. The third paramedic, she realised, and then frowned. She knew him. His red hair, his tall and skinny frame, eyes hidden behind glasses with dark lenses.

"It's really not that bad." His face tilted towards her wrist. "I guess you already know that though."

"Oh. No, it's not a bad hospital as hospitals go. I've definitely been in wore." Like the big old one in Worth, where she had spent a horrible Sunday night and most of Monday morning earlier this year. It had not been as clean as it could be but it was the noise that had been worse. The eternally muffled moans of other people in pain. The hush of medics trying to discuss patient notes without being overheard. The occasional squeal or clang of trolleys, wheelchairs and cleaning equipment. The way her voice had sounded too loud, too defensive when she was answering the questions being fired at her. "You go to Levenson, don't you? I've seen you around."

"I have my track time with you sometimes. And I see you around too."

"You tried to help when I had that argument with Leo last month. Christ, I don't even remember what it was about."

"You get into a lot of rows?"

"I try not to but they seem to find me anyway. Have you got a name?"

"Chris." He put out his hand for Katie to shake. She took it and opened her mouth to introduce herself, but Chris the paramedic got there first. "You're Katie. I already know who you are. Not in some psycho stalker way," he assured her. Katie shuddered. She recalled saying that to somebody before, somebody who had scared her but now did the exact opposite. "I've been trying to get you a trial with my coach. That's all. You're talented but you never seem to be around when he's there to watch."

"Hmm, I'm a busy girl."

"I gathered. You always seem to be haring off somewhere." Chris leaned to one side and listened to the burst of static from his radio carefully. It sounded non-sensical to Katie but there were evidently some words in between. "Break time for me. Must have done something right this week."

"You don't usually?"

Chris looked down at Katie. She was just a girl... a child, really. She had no place standing outside a hospital with a stranger, waiting for the courage to go in and hear some potentially terrible news. Because Roy wasn't going to survive this heart attack. He'd seen only a couple over the last two years, working on the ambulance, but he knew enough that this one was bad. "Don't you think you should..?" he started asking.

"Will he be...?" she asked at the same time. "I guess I'll never know unless I go in. Things always look worse than they are. Huh!" Believing that was like believing in Santa Claus; it looked good but all fell apart once you touched it. "I'm scared, you know? Call me a wuss, a baby, whatever, but I am. Stupid isn't it?"

"Only a little bit. Being frightened of hospitals in the first place makes it scary."

"Mind over matter and all that." But Katie wasn't convinced by the theory. One, she had a damned good reason to be nervous of medical institutions, and two, clichés did not work.

"Pretty much. Look, Katie, nothing can hurt you in there if you don't let it. This is Northwood, _your_ home, and there's nothing to be scared of."

"I've just got a bad imagination. All doomy and gloomy."

He thought for a second then took Katie by the shoulders pointed her towards the door and bent down to whisper in her ear. "You're only visiting. Now, go!" he nudged her forwards and released her shoulders. Once she had begun her forward motion Katie found she couldn't stop. Oh, she wanted to. The thought even grew almost big enough to halt her in her tracks. But she pushed that aside and carried on. Her mind kept trying to spark – tell her that her friend might be _dying_ in there; he might not come back out. She ignored it and looked pointedly down at her feet as they crossed the worn tarmac outside the hospital, the rubber mat set into the floor by the doors, the tiles of the reception area shadowed by the edge of the front desk and the swinging double doors as they changed to a laminate wood covering. This was where Dr de Rossa had his office, to her right. Katie let herself glance back up then. She was deep enough into the medical centre that she didn't feel as if she was going to turn tail and run away now. It was easy to tell where she needed to go next. A man in blue scrubs was wheeling some machinery around a corner. She followed him, blindly, and found herself, a moment later, standing at a large internal window. The slatted blinds were half down but she could see well enough.

Well enough to know that she didn't want to see this.

A few medics – doctors, nurses, hell they could be vets for all Katie knew – were buzzing around a bed in the middle of a big, windowless room. This room was where they had taken Dina when she had flirted with death, although she had not been quite brave enough to look. "Roy," she said to the window even though she knew no-one could hear. "What are they doing to you?" Because, as they uncapped needles and delivered electric shocks to Roy's poor, used up, old heart, they looked as though they were hurting him. Doctors barked orders and nurses obeyed and the attempt to save the elderly man went on. And on. And then it stopped.

The men and women in their uniforms stopped. They stood back from the bed, put the paddles away, took syringes out of his arms leaving the needles in, removed patches from various machines. They had given up. She wanted to pound on the window and stamp her feet, shout at them to _do something_. "You can't stop! You can't let him die!" But she didn't cry or shriek or whine at them to fix something that was beyond their control. Katie just watched.

All that was left to monitor Roy was that horribly bleeping thing and a drip of clear liquid going through the back of his hand. All that was left to monitor her friend as he slipped away. All that was left...

One by one, the medical team left the room in silence, sombre enough to make her want to cry right there and then, because she knew. And then a figure still inside the room caught her eye. A figure that hardly moved. It directed its head to the body in the bed – Roy, but somehow not Roy any more – and then turned to the machine which read out his vitals. Blood pressure dropped to a dull, elongated beep. It usually raised the alarm and caused panicked doctors to come running from all directions on all the TV shows – why was nothing happening here? And then a thin turquoise line at the top of the machine (pulse) jumped. Katie looked on numbly as the jagged peaks of his heartbeat grew less and less frequent. The jumps came randomly and they were smaller, weaker each time. _A man is dying in front of me,_ thought Katie. Then she did something she thought she'd never do. She prayed it would be over soon. _That's a hateful thing to ask for. Sort it out girl._ It was true. It was a horrible thing to think. No arguments on that one. But she couldn't watch it for another second. Not this friend slipping away so slowly, so agonisingly slowly.

In the end, the line which read out the heartbeat became one flat line – no more jerky mountains, not even a slight ripple, and she had to tear her eyes away from the screen and back to the figure. Bernice was just standing there. Not wailing hysterically or complaining that it wasn't _fair_ \\! She was just standing by the end of his bed and looking at the man she'd married as a young woman. That fresh, bright love of their youth burned less fiercely now. It was as unshakeable as ever. As she bent to take his hand, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Katie stepped back, away from the window. This wasn't her place. This was Bernice's time to grieve. It was disrespectful to be watching another person going through their own personal torture.

"Nobody should have to see something like that." Dr de Rossa said, coming up behind Katie. "This is the hardest part of my job, knowing everything you do is hopeless. I hate having to tell people their loved ones have... passed on."

He said something after that but Katie was deaf to it. A sudden flare of rage had blown up inside her. And suddenly, she knew she was going to start shouting. She knew she was going to be irrational and rude and angry and she was powerless to stop it. "You hate it! How the fuck do you think she feels? Bernice had to watch that. She just stood by as you all just gave up and left him to die, cold and alone and screaming for someone to save him. Only you never heard him because you decided he was already dead. You decided it was pointless. What the hell gives you the right to choose whether people live or die?"

"I don't have the right," he replied calmly. "I have the responsibility."

His matter of fact tone was probably meant to bring down the temperature of the heated exchange, but it only drove Katie further into anger. Words failed her. Her anger cooled down in a fraction of a second and she felt a familiar cool touch stroke her mind.

Calm down, Lady Katie. It's not your fault and I'll come soon. I promise.

Jack. His very voice blanketed Katie in... what? Peace? This imagined icy cover fell around her and the fiery rage died away instantly. Emotion crowded in. the doctor kept talking, platitudes and empty words she'd heard before, but Katie was looking, once more, at Bernice. Her heart broke for the old lady. It cost nothing to go in there and share a kiss and a cuddle, share the loss.

"Oh."

She switched her attention back to Dr de Rossa.

"Could you please tell Elaine that those tests results should be in this week."

"What tests?"

"She hasn't said? Oh no. Oh dear oh dear oh no."

"Is this something I need to know about?"

"No, it's nothing important. Just tell her. Okay?"

"Yeah sure," she said, not really thinking about what he was saying.

Dr de Rossa wandered off down towards his office, still muttering "oh dear," and "oh no." The information about the tests filtered through Katie's mind and slotted itself neatly into NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW. She wiped tears from her face that she hadn't even felt being shed. If she allowed herself to, the crushing wave of grief pushing at her edges would do a little more than threaten; it would overwhelm her and end her to her knees. Roy had been quite a new addition to her circle of loved ones but he had been such a friendly and supportive person that he had earned his place with room to spare. Even though his own health must have been playing up – no-one had a heart attack that serious without warning, right? – he always made time for a kind word or two. The parallels with her own late grandfather flashed into her mind, uninvited and most certainly unwanted. Her grandfather had died suddenly of a major cardiac arrest too and nobody had noticed a thing until it was too late. And he was such a lovely person. He didn't deserve it. And then, as misery began growing, she was running out of the hospital and away from all this sadness. Where Katie was going was open. Just anywhere she didn't have to be alone any more.

"Those things will kill you!" she shouted to Dr de Rossa as she raced past him lighting up outside the main doors. Then she found an inverted corner of the big building and closed her eyes.

Jack? Please Jack.

No answer came. It was strange. Hadn't he been with her just a few minutes ago?

Jack, I need you. I don't want to be alone.

It took a few minutes but she could feel him trying to get a grip on her life force. It hurt more than it had ever hurt before. Not as badly as it had earlier this afternoon with Henry Lawson because Jack was smaller and lighter. He just fit better in her.

_I'm hurting you,_ Jack thought at her, reaching out to stop her stumble even though his hand would pass right through. It was automatic to try to stop the world from so much as grazing her knee. _You're tired and..._ he tried to choose the words that wouldn't sound like an accusation _... some-one else has used you._

I just saw a friend of mine die. I saw his heart beat for the last time, I practically felt him take that final, shuddering breath.

_Hold on. Just hold on one more second. You don't have to be frightened._ "Now."

Solid. Jack was solid and as real as any other person she had clung onto this way. No words. No soothing strokes of her hair. No wiping away the tears that she couldn't seem to make come out. They just held on to each other – a young couple relying on each other for the comfort the other could provide.

"Oh Christ, I look terrible."

"No, you don't. You look like a 16 year old girl who has been through more in one day than some people go through in a lifetime. And you're dealing with brilliantly."

"By crying like a little kid the minute things get difficult?"

"It's better that hurting yourself. Or somebody else," he added.

"I guess so."

"I'm sorry i wasn't there when your friend... i didn't hear you call."

He hadn't heard. What kind of an excuse was that? "Jack, don't lie. You have better things to do than be at my beck and call all the time."

"You're shivering. Are you cold?"

"A little bit," she conceded. Denying it and protesting her fineness came instantly to mind but chattering teeth soon put paid to that idea. Jack stripped off the leatherjacket with fringing he sometimes wore and wrapped it around her shoulders. She took it gratefully, telling herself that he wasn't cold, he didn't even have to feel natural changes like temperature if he didn't want to. The sun had sunk low on the horizon and a dusky haze was settling over the town, making it look completely harmless – as safe and cosy as a Christmas card. "I met-" Katie mentally slapped a hand over her mouth to keep the next words in. Physically, she just bit her bottom lip hard enough to make it bleed. "Oww! That wasn't clever."

"What?" Jack was worried already. Lady Katie wasn't the type to say a word unless she needed to.

"Cut my lip."

"Let me see." He looked at his love and took in the tiny trickle of red staining her teeth and lips. "Nope. I really don't think you meant to do that."

"Genius."

"It's been said before. Never gets old."

Katie playfully punched his arm. There was a crumpled tissue in her bag and she... had left it at home. Wonderful. She ran her tongue over the cut, winced, and faced Jack. He had these powers like being able to go through water and not get wet so it wasn't that much of a stretch to hope he could heal her lip, or at least stop the bleeding.

"I'm not a medicine man. Look, it's already stopped." Jack ran a finger teasingly over the inside of her lower lip and brought it out clean. It wasn't completely painless, but it didn't send ripples of it through the flesh. No, the tiny tooth marks bitten into her face were tingling with a stinging sweetness and Katie shivered again. "You're going home. A hot bath, cocoa, bed."

Not that Katie was going to argue with him but she had to try something. "Will you stay with me? It's been a long day and I need to feel safe and loved. I feel safest of all in your arms."

"You wouldn't rest if I was there," he said with a touch of a smirk. There it was again. That flash of need, desire, the internal struggle to let lust and love off a very tight leash.

You don't need to fight it with me. I know what you are and I still love you.

You... love me?

Umm... had she actually thought that? _I – I – I do._

You don't sound all that sure of yourself Lady Katie.

_I never really let myself believe it either. We've been through a lot and I think I fell in love with you a bit more each time you saved me but I didn't imagine... I never dreamt I could love anyone all that way. But_ "I love you, Jack."

Before she had a chance to take the words back, or decide if she needed to take them back, his eyes changed. From the fever-bright green eyes burning with raw passion they darkened and shadows settled behind them.

All those secrets. You keep them all locked away deep inside, Jack. It's not good for you. I want to help.

You can't.

Katie waited a moment for him to explain and then refused to walk another step until he spoke to her. "There's a lot going on at the moment," he said simply. But it wasn't simple. And, breaking the rules or not, he had to tell her just a tiny bit of it. "There are people up there," he pointed up towards the sky, keeping his voice and movements as slight as possible. "Beings, rather, I don't think they have any of the things that would qualify them as people. They can see things. Things in my life that I don't remember. I have to decide whether I want to know who killed me? Or if I want to know about my father."

The words were on the tip of Katie's tongue but she managed to stop them spilling out. She wanted to tell him that she had met the man who claimed to Jack's father. The pair of them could meet; they could use the rest of their lives to forge the parent-child relationship everybody deserved. It would be an easy solution. But she kept her mouth shut. And her mind closed. That took some concentration – the exhaustion of the day was really biting into her reserves of mental energy and one push from Jack would make her mind shields come tumbling down and her thoughts come flooding out. A voice inside was urging her to draw on those last few shreds and put up the wall. Jack couldn't know about this arrival. Henry Lawson had to be kept secret. There was something about him, something she didn't entirely trust. "I was supposed to meet Leo!" Katie remembered with a jolt where she had been going before Roy had... before she saw the ambulance. Yes. That was an easier way to think of it. She had seen an ambulance and a crowd of people and got distracted by all the activity. There would be tears if she thought of it any other way.

Jack straightened his t-shirt – Katie tried not to think about how cold he might be as she continued to shiver in his jacket over her own – and frowned at her. There was something about her... something not quite right. It was the thing that had made him wait 150 odd years for her. The thing that he loved and hated in equal measure.

It was her unwavering determination to risk everything for her friends.

It was her strange ability to ignore any danger to herself if one of her circle was in trouble.

It was her slippery grasp of right and wrong.

It was her tendency to listen to her heart, not her head.

It was the fact that she was an emotional teenager who thought losing a friend was the end of the world.

And he wanted to say all this to her. Wanted to tell the beautiful and innocent young girl at his side that she wasn't put on this world to save it. Her only job was to live and learn and love like it was her very last chance.

_I am,_ she thought at him with such force that Jack actually felt a dull prodding in the centre of his brain. _That's what I do every single day._

When had Katie gotten powerful enough to touch his mind that way? Was he doing something to her... stripping her soul of all the soft, fluffy bits that made her human? They said it was a danger if you pulled too much energy from one person. Absently, he stretched out a hand and caressed one side of her face. How much damage could it do to just cup that face in his hands, tlt it unti he saw nothing but those soulful brown eyes and just kiss those trembling lips into a smile? But they both knew the answer to that. "Katie. Whatever you do from now on, it'll never be enough."

She stared at him. They were slowly making their way towards the house on Newton Street where the plan of warm bath, warm drink and warm bed was sounding better and better. Katie was unusually cold. The weather app on her new phone still reported a relatively balmy 13 degrees. She shouldn't be shivering and shaking this much; feeling that the cold was coming from the inside. Put it down to shock and exhaustion. It had been a long day. Meeting Leo like she had promised suddenly faded off her radar. She was cold and tired and hungry – oh God, definitely hungry – her stomach rolled over and growled at the very notion of food – and she just didn't care any more. Leo was a big boy. He'd figure it out.

"Nearly there, my love," Jack whispered by her ear. "Can you walk a few more steps?"

Apparently the answer was no. Even as Katie was wondering why he was asking that – she felt fine – her bones and muscles in her legs turned to water and she had to lean on Jack for a minute while she got her balance back. Obviously she was colder that she thought. They managed to make it back though, and Katie had a mini collapse on the bottom of the stairs. Jack vanished deeper into the house. _No doubt to find Lainy so he can tell tales,_ she thought bitterly. Climbing the stairs seemed like climbing Everest. One step, two steps, more. She should have been running up them, taking them two maybe three at a time, but something heavy and cold was settling into her bones. She spent a few minutes in her room gathering her nightclothes together and emptying her pockets. Keys, phone, handful of change, the two tarot cards and the crystal Mademoiselle Romani had given her. The sheriff's badge. Idly, she chucked everything in a pile on her bed and went down the corridor to the door with the toxic waste sticker on it. If she hung her strapped up wrist over the side of the tub, she could lie down and have a decent bath. The hot water and bubbles slipped and slid around Katie's neck as easily as if that was where they had always been meant to be.

And around the corner was – damn! It was nothing but another long corridor with deep-set windows and a turning at the far end. Katie whipped her head around. If she wished hard enough maybe another escape route would appear. Physically, that was impossible - she had paid enough attention to her lessons to know that you couldn't create matter where there was simply none – but she was also dimly aware that this was a dream and anything could happen. So why no magic door?

There was no more time to waste. The footsteps were shuffling ever closer. Their long shadows were creeping across the long white wall. She had to keep running or they were going to get her. Was that such a bad thing?

Don't let them touch you. They'll hurt you in ways you can't even imagine. You have to run.

_The voice was calm and even but it had a ring of authority Katie instinctively knew she had to obey. Maybe it was her own voice working at speeds she couldn't fathom. Perhaps some part of her recognised the true danger and was just trying to get her body to co-operate. So she ran. Down one corridor and around the corner, down a second corridor and around the corner. Look around – no other way out. This happened three or four more time until the only sounds she could hear wear her own laboured breathing and the pounding of her thick soles on the ceramic floor. Her feet were bare inside the boots,_ no time for socks, _she thought as she ran on.. the endless impacts were hardening the already tough skin on her feet, undoubtedly producing bruises and blisters; sending mini shockwaves of pain shooting through her legs. No time to rest. No time for anything but running because they wee still coming. Not even time to tie the cord at her bottom to hold this stupid hospital gown together. It was held loosely together by one string across the middle of her back. The one at the neck had come apart when she woke in this strange place and tying it had seemed unimportant. How was she to know that she would be running for her life._ But this is a dream. These are dream people. _Her thoughts were almost infuriatingly logical._

Vaguely, Katie wondered if the smell or sight of the blood on her gown might be attracting these zombie looking friends.

Friends.

Her friends. She trusted these people and now they... something brushed her mind then ran away, laughing. Something from the real world. What had it been..?

And she spent too long wondering. There was a sickly moan from behind her. It took rivers of strength not to look round. The shadows creeping along the wall told her they were getting closer. There was no time. Katie took a deep breath kicked her heels against the floor and sprinted off for the next corner, not expecting a way out.

_She wasn't disappointed. Well, that was a lie because a tiny corner of her brain was still hoping for the impossible. It didn't matter how far she ran, or how fast. They were on her heels and – help! There were shadows tinging the floor and Katie had no time to get to the next corner before they saw her. Thinking fast – too fast to decide if it was a good idea or not – she launched herself towards the nearest window and clambered into its' deep setting. There was room for maybe an adult and a very small child inside. Katie placed herself smack in the middle and curled up as tight as she could, head down in her folded arms._ don't see me don't see me, _she repeated over and over until somehow the words were no longer in her head but coming out of her mouth – in breaths made of wishful thinking, not even loud enough to be whispers. "Don't see me don't see me I'm not here."_

She didn't even need to raise her head to see their silhouettes on the wall – she could here there raspy, desperate breath – could imagine their dirty arms reaching for her, catching in the tangles of her long brown hair, the unholy scream she would let out when they touched her...

No, inch back. Go as far back as you can so as they pass right by.

And she was squirming, pushing and there was no glass behind her to stop her moving.

_There was nothing at her back and she was falling from an open window, who knew how high and who knew onto what._ This is taking...

Dina sat up with a jolt from where she had been lounging on her bed with a book. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. She didn't know how she knew it, it was just one of those things. Her gaze went immediately to the big poster on the wall – that fit guy getting out of the swimming pool with some medals spread out in front of him – and instantly thought of Jaye. And then her name faded out of her mind but no new one came. But the swimming pool... water? Not even understanding why she was doing it, she tossed her book to the floor and raced around to the bathroom. She tried the door, expecting it to be locked and then to have to find a guy to break it down, but it was blessedly unlocked. She opened the door and froze for a second, taking in the scene.

Was that second longer than it felt? Time felt stretched in weird directions.

Right, action stations. Dina dropped to her knees so heavily she had vibrations going through her hips as she slid herself over to the tub, dipped an arm in the cooling water and fastened one slim hand under Katie's jaw and hoiked her head above the water. "Katie!"

And she, at the sound of her name, coughed up a couple of mouthfuls of the stuff.

"You idiot!"

"What happened?" demanded Jack, watching Dina walking a bedraggled Katie towards him. "I heard shoutin' and I were gonna come but it ain't decent to see no lady in the bath."

"Well, aren't you the southern gentleman?"

"His accent comes out when he's worried," Katie explained.

"Worried ain't the word! I didn't know if you broke a nail or if the hounds of hell had you."

"Hounds of hell? Try zombies. I'll tell you about it in my room," she promised when he gave her the wide eyes that made her want to tell him her life story.

"She went under the water, but I think it was just for a second or two," Dina was quick to reassure him. "Maybe she just slipped, you know, with only one hand to hold on. It was terrifying just for that instant. You know, you don't know if you're too late or anything."

"But you weren't."

Dina stood tall with pride and then her face fell. "Oh God, is that what I put you guys through last month?" And then she scurried back to her own room and slammed the door behind her.

Katie glared at the door, wishing that X-Ray vision was a real thing and she could see what was going on behind it. But all the staring in the world would not help.

"Come on. Let's get you warmed up."

She allowed Jack to walk her through to her own room but refused to get under the covers. She was tired yes but sleeping was so far off the menu right now she couldn't even long-distance call it. Too hyped up with everything that had happened in such a short afternoon. She needed to tell him about some of it, at least, even if she couldn't say a word about the thing he would probably want to know most of all. "No, I can't sleep. My brain.... It just won't switch off."

He took the desk chair and turned so it faced her on the edge of the bed. "So... zombies?"

"Well, I just called them that. Can't think of any better name," she added somewhat sheepishly and went on to tell him about her last few dreams. About those things that had kept chasing her; those friends but not friends; those beings with smudges for faces and arms that could touch you from around a corner. Jack chipped in with a few quick questions but he left it up to Katie to tell the story. It was her dark fantasy after all. "A fantasy? Fantasies have good things in them. Fantasies are your every dream come true. This has nothing good or even halfway pleasant about it. You know me better than to say that. Seriously!"

"I didn't mean... that. Just that your dreams have a habit of... leaking."

Leaking? That wasn't very scientific.

"Leaking. Like blurring from this world," Jack pressed one finger to her forehead, "to this one," he used his other hand to flap at the room around him.

"How do we know we're not the nightmares and what's in my head is the real thing?"

"Hey, what brought this on?"

"This world is so cruel and we – the whole human race – we're cruel to each other. We live in suffering, we go to war, we pretend we're fine when we're not, we stab each other in the back and break our words and we still smile and do it all again the next day. If that's not a nightmare..." Katie heaved a deep breath – in, out – and waited for her voice to settle. "But in here. In my dreams – you live or you die and you win or you lose. If nothing, that should be the real world."

"Why are you talking like this, Lady Katie?"

She stared at him. Was it so hard to understand that this world... was too hard? There was so much happening, so much to worry about, and it was all her fault. The fighting between her friends, the secrets she had and had not shared, things she wanted and couldn't let herself have. But – dammit – she wanted things that, okay, might not be the best things for her. Maybe she should stop trying to be with Jack...

He blushed slightly. "No, please. Don't ever stop trying."

When he turned those sea green eyes on her, Katie could feel all rational thought fall out of her head. They threatened to drown her in them – along with everything and every _one_ else he turned them on.

"You're not the only one with secrets, you know."

# Chapter five

There was a war going on outside the bedroom door. It was looking only slightly less lethal that an all-out firefight. It was no fun to listen to either. It was making Katie feel as though this was all her fault. She supposed it was, in a way, but there was no way she could have changed the way things had turned out. It didn't stop her wishing though...

About 15 minutes ago, Leo had stormed into her room raging about this and that and she was a lazy bitch for not showing up at the library that afternoon when it was only ten minutes walk away and was it too far for the babba? Which, surprisingly, hadn't made her feel brilliant. She had floundered, momentarily lost for words and on the brink of what she thought were irrational tears. Now Leo was outside her door and Jack was trying to calm him down, trying to explain what had happened. But,, of course, he couldn't explain away the bits he didn't know. And this calming technique wasn't working. Leo was still yelling but not making much sense, and Jack was starting to get worked up and defensive too. It was time for the feminine touch.

"Guys!"

They both ignored her. Too engrossed in mutual hated or some other favoured male past-time.

"Stop telling me I can't take care of my own girlfriend!"

"You can't! Can you be there for her every minute of every day?"

"Wait... no-one takes care of this girl."

"Stay outta this, Katie."

"Excuse me Pointer?"

"This isn't your fight. It's between me and him."

"And it's about me! So it damn well is my business."

"So you're rowing with girls now?" Jack began a slow handclap. Slow and sarcastic. "Wow. I actually thought you were better than that."

Leo clenched his fist and pulled back, clearly ready to throw a punch. In her minds eye, the scene blasted into bright colours, swirls of red and yellow energy in the air. Hot, energy, fierce and passionate. And it was all because of her. All in a blur she knew that Jack was not going to fade even a little bit to avoid a blow he knew was coming. He was going to take the hit. He was going to let it fracture his cheekbone and not heal from it until he was alone. And why? Because he was 150 years older than Lady Katie. Because she was a girl and he was a man whose job it was to protect her. Knowing this with one glance at the bright energies flying around her made Katie suddenly angry. And then, the colours faded behind the real things and she saw Leo making the first forward movements with his arm. She closed her eyes and stepped forward, beating him to the punch.

Literally.

Okay, not literally but _OH FUCK! OW!_ It was more a slap.

"What are you guys fighting for?"

Jack just stared at her. Then he touched a hand to his cheek. A white handprint stood starkly against his tanned face – I would turn pink and then red, perhaps a faint bruise and then it would fade to nothing. And Jack would savour every moment of that pain while it lasted. "You..."

"For a Shade your face is bloody hard," she said, barely hearing him, as she shook the stinging away from her left hand and blew on her fingers as if that would cool them down. "So glad I don't have to do that often."

"Look what you made her do."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you."

Katie looked between the boys. If she had allowed the situation to devolve into fists, Jack would definitely have caught the sharp end of the deal. Leo was taller than him and new more modern fighting techniques than throw a few punches and hope he goes down. Of course Jack had the benefit of over a century surviving in who knew what kind of dark world. So she had thrown herself on the middle of the two boys, hoping to make herself the focus of attention. It didn't appear to have worked because they were still raving at each other – now about something to do with duty and stress. Yes, she knew all about that. But now wasn't the time to think about that.

"You know what? I've had enough of you two bitch-fighting over me to last a lifetime. Now, Leo, I'm sorry I didn't make it to the library but I was watching a friend of mine die. The world doesn't run to your schedule, okay. Deal with that. And Jack, you don't own me so don't go round fighting my battles. I'm a big girl."

"I never meant-"

"I never meant-"

The two boys spoke at exactly the same time. Katie held up a hand before they could even think of ways to end that sentence. "Save it. I don't want to be in this." And she turned around, walked back into her room and slammed the door on them. The remnants of her latest splurge of... ultra-vision showed her a complete halt in the flow of energy outside her door. A complete confused standstill. But if Katie was hoping the boys might stay that way or even be halfway civil to each other, she was disappointed. They had had their moment of utter shock at her - such an outburst _was_ out of character, but hell if she hadn't secretly enjoyed letting rip for a second – and then they carried right back on in much more hushed, but unmistakably angry tones. Through the door, it was impossible to tell one voice from the other but snatches of hissed conversation drifted through.

"... love her but..."

"... don't think she knows..."

"... keep it down..."

"... don't tell me..."

"... disgusting..."

"... grow up..."

"Fuck off and deal with it then!" That one rang out clearly. It was filled with bile and hate but... tiredness. Like the words were just rehearsed and there was nothing but a slow burning fuse behind them. "Go on. Leave us to our own problems."

No. Katie decided it wasn't that the arguing was heating up again – although she had no doubt it was. This was her hearing sharpening. Just as it had when she had fought that thing in Jaye's body last month, all her senses were suddenly more alive than ever. She was seeing the energy trails things left or radiated all around them; hearing things she may not have even noticed like the ticking of the second hand of her watch; she could even smell the sweet and sugary sin that was Doritos and Red Bull under her desk. It was all too much. Heightened senses was something Shades had to deal with every day. Maybe they were better equipped to deal with them.

"Screw you!"

The words descended into unintelligible babbles put the sounds of pushing and shoving were obvious enough. Just as Katie resigned herself to wriggling back into her dressing gown and leaving bed (lovely bed) behind, footsteps stormed into the middle of the boys and stopped the scuffle.

"I've heard enough." Dina. She was as tall as Katie but much thinner. She was surprisingly strong and her delicate voice and looks betrayed the voice of authority she could snap on at any moment. "I'm trying to catch up on coursework and all I can hear is you two whining about Katie and being a Shade and how you have so many things to do and no-one else is helping." She said this last part with a pinch of sarcasm that made Katie grin. "Well, I'm sick of it."

"He started it. Coming in here and-"

"I don't care who started it. I'm finishing it. You, in your room. Cool it." That must have been meant for Leo although no footsteps faded into the next room. "And you." Jack next. She wondered what kind of a pasting he would get and, unthinking, flexed the hand she had used to slap him. if only she could take that moment back... "You're old enough to know better. You're not coming back here until at least tomorrow."

"But you don't know what she's been through today."

"And neither do you. But this won't help. Now get!" She stamped her foot and there was a third less tension outside.

"S'all I wanna do you know. Help."

"I'm sure you do. Best thing to do is let the kid sleep, 'kay?" Good old Dina. She might still be hurting inside now that she knew how she was going to die and having tried to hurt herself before it happened – nobody wanted to suffer and die and then be brought back to this world to endure it all over again – but she knew how to keep a cool head when everyone else was losing theirs. It suddenly occurred to Katie that this might be why Dina had slashed her wrists in the first place. _I know you didn't mean it D. But was it really because you didn't want to make a fuss?_ The only answer that came back was two sets of feet turning into the rooms on her right and left, and their doors creaking closed just seconds apart.

Katie defiantly squeezed her eyes shut, pulled the covers so far up that only a roughly human shaped lump was visible and tried to go to sleep. _Nothing, nothing, nothing, I'm thinking of nothing._ It sounded good enough to keep the freaky dreams away. And it worked for a while. Until something woke her up. She opened her eyes and noted that the house was in darkness. But a slightly darker shape stood in her open door. _Jack?_ She sent it weakly, still lazy with interrupted sleep. There was no answer. Her mind worked slowly through the problem. Jack had been sent away so he couldn't be here unless some-one else... And also she had locked the door, hadn't she? Maybe she had just closed it but he knew better than to intrude. Blinking and rubbing her eyes, Katie twisted and looked at her alarm clock. It threw out some ridiculous hour of Sunday morning in a sick yellow glow. The numbers should be a bright but gentle green but she hadn't changed the batteries for about a year. And the abuse she put it through every morning gave it a good excuse for not working properly. No. No more distractions. Somebody was standing at her door and watching her sleep. _Perv._ Without turning on a light, Katie picked out a faint wisp of energy and concentrated on it, following it all the way along.

Oh great.

Of all the people in this old house, Leo was the one she liked least. Paradoxically, she trusted him the most though. He hadn't tried to shoot her in the head, break her arm, lead her into some strange not quite hell dimension, pitied her when she had confessed to being raped less than six months – yes, it was a confession because, somehow, it felt like something to be kept secret - and nor had he kept anything a secret from her. He had simply told her what she needed to hear and then let her get on with things. That was one of the few things she truly liked about him. No poofery about protecting her because she was a girl or a child; no trying to wrap her in cotton wool. In fact, Katie had the distinct impression that he would much rather wrap her in barbed wire. In the few seconds it took her to think all this, his dark figure was looming over her bed. The first notes of a scream wobbled on her tongue. He slapped a hand over her mouth before it opened. Katie held down the urge to struggle. Instead, she bit into the palm. Not quite hard enough to draw blood but hard enough to make Leo snatch his hand away and hiss a chain of expletives Katie couldn't hear.

"What are you doing in my room?" When he didn't immediately answer, she carried on, whispering her angry words. Angry gave way to merely pissed off. "Is this your new insane game or something? Watching girls sleep like some – ewww! There aren't even words."

"This was the only time I could speak to you. I'm being watched like a thief in Harrods."

"Well hell, I can't think why."

"You wanna help Walkin' Dead or not?"

"Jack." She suddenly remembered slapping his face – how the sound of flesh on flesh had been so hard, as real as any other person she might care to assault. _Don't make a habit of it_ muttered a voice in her head. It was followed by another one – _go on, you've got every excuse. And it could be fun._ Stamp on it. Trample down her internal debates. Too tired.

"You wanted to know what made him look all scared and shit?"

"At a guess... something to do with you. Though why he cares what you think is-"

"Whatever." He shut the door and turned on the lamp by her laptop all in one motion. "Set this shit up. I ain't touching your computer."

Oh, sleep had made the final escape from her mind and she was fully awake if not alert or quite knowing what she was doing. A proved when she nearly tumbled to the ground trying to get out of bed, tangled in sheets as she was. Katie glared at her duvet. "Don't be looking at me like that, dolphin. You know what you did," she accused it. Harsh words didn't stop her tumbling into a spin, going over on that weak left ankle – _damn, is that going to keep giving out on me?_ – but dimly not being bothered that she might fall, knock herself out, never wake up again. In reflex, she windmilled both arms for balance. Her good arm struck something warm and tightly corded. She knew without a hesitation she had grabbed onto Leo – he had shot out of the chair to catch her but the less said about that the better. She opened her eyes and found herself staring into deep blue ink wells that held nothing but a million stars. A galaxy of them in irises that were usually so blank. So often had those eyes been twisted with loathing as he discussed Shades and people who only came back once they were dead, or soft with... with... with something she couldn't find a name for as he saved her life over and over. _I'll find a way to thank him for it. A way that's better than words. I promise you that, Leo, I'll find a way._ "Okay. Now what?"

The computer whirred away quietly, booting up. Leo crouched down and spread Doritos and Red Bull out on the only clear patch of floor below the window, stretching the mains adapter down so they could work on the floor.

"You use my stuff, you raid my sugar stash. What a gentleman."

"Yeah, we need your badge too," he mumbled through a mouthful of tortilla chips.

The glow thrown out from her desk lamp stretched just far enough to see in the bedside cabinet, where she had dumped her things earlier. The glare was tilted down to light up the laptop perfectly. Draw open, Katie rummaged around and just as her hand closed around the pointed star of a badge, two tarot cards slipped between her fingers and she brought them out too, laying the whole lot on the floor and not giving it a second thought.

Leo opened the internet browser. "See, I was looking for anything that matched this badge. I didn't think I had anything but I looked on this history place." He was taking a history class as part of his studies. "You know, research, like you said."

"And?"

"Well, this style – kinda like a shield but with all the points poking over the side – was only used between 1840 and 1860. Give or take. So that fits."

"Okay. Give me something useful." Where was all this going? "So I crossed that with the state of Texas to find a list of sheriffs who were around between those times."

"Trying to find the guy who..." still couldn't say 'the man who killed Jack'. It made Katie feel cold inside, like he was truly dead and never coming back to her. And that just wasn't true. Jack would always come back. "Who hurt me," she finished.

"You wanted a name." Leo typed a crazy long address in and clicked impatiently at various pages, trying to find what he wanted. "I found this place. I don't know how reliable it is, but..."

Katie got up on her knees and shuffled around to his side. It was just a list of names at first glance. A site somebody had been geeky enough to set up but hadn't bothered to have professionally designed or maintained. SHERIFFS IN MID 19TH CENTURY AMERICA read the title and the page was subheaded TEXAS. Katie squinted her eyes and started to read down the list. About halfway down, her name fell on one name in particular. "Henry Lawson. That's Jacks' last name. Lawson."

"Makes sense. Son of the law. S'how they used to decide surnames years ago. By jobs."

"So he must think that his father killed him. Murdered his own son. Maybe not even knowing who he was."

"Bitch, innit?"

"Is there a photograph or a picture?"

"I guess so. Not here but I could look for one now we've got a definite name. Why?"

"Because he didn't do it. Henry Lawson didn't touch his son."

"And you know this how?"

"Because-" oh wait, should she really be telling him any of this? "Because I met Henry today and he isn't the man I saw trying to flay me alive."

The wheels in Leo's brain started turning – whirring actually – Katie could practically see them going round and then, all at once, stopping. It was as if his mind had just been overwhelmed by this new knowledge and had simply dug its' heels in and refused to think about it. She also saw his eyes flick over several other topics to talk about before he finally noticed the two tarot cards on the floor. "What are those?"

"Mademoiselle Romani gave them to me. She says they represent-" Katie grabbed them up and passed them over and was suddenly no longer aware if she was still speaking. Their hands brushed as he tried to take them and something like electricity snapped between them. One dark soul reaching for another...

And it recoiled from what it found there.

Because Leo didn't have a dark soul. Despite all his outward nastiness, Leo didn't have a dark soul. Nor did he have one of light and air. He had a soul made of all the colours in the spectrum and more shades besides, some she couldn't even understand let alone name. There was fire engine red and police siren blue, emerald green and crystalline clear. All through it were lightning strikes of the oldest of old gold. It was beautiful. Katie allowed this awesome rainbow pull her along; went willingly into a spirit of many colours and crushing brilliance. Further... further... until the back of a young boy appeared in the distance. As she grew closer she noticed a thin clear sphere all around him. "Hello?"

The boy didn't appear to hear.

"Are you alright in there?"

He heaved a huge sigh and then turned. He had curly dark hair, worn just long enough to cover the edges of a face that was tear-streaked and drawn. "Hi."

Katie ran over to the transparent ball and flattened her left hand against it. The boy raised his right and met it. "Why are you in there?"

The boy shrugged and thought for a long time before he answered. "So I can't do any more damage."

"Damage?"

"It's cold in here. And I'm hungry. But he says I have to stay here. He says this is the only way."

"Who?"

"Please don't leave me. Promise me you won't leave me."

Her heart broke a tiny bit with the need to make this promise. She would promise this strange little boy the moon and the stars themselves if they would make him happy. "I... I'll..."

"I'm a secret, you know. I was a very bad boy once and then he punished me for it. Locked me up and never played with me again."

Katie tapped her fingernails against this see-through ball, as thin as a soap bubble, as tough as Perspex. How to get this child out..? But, just as she was thinking of some mad scheme, she felt something pulling her backwards like a string attached to her. Back through the stunning kaleidoscope of colours. Back to the real world where she was holding Leo's hand in hers and staring into that galaxy of dying stars in his eyes. A sound ran out, breaking the gluey connection between the two. It was Katie's mobile phone, vibrating frantically and ringing very quietly. She moved away from Leo, glad to be putting some distance between them, and snatching it up off the bed. "Mademoiselle Romani?"

"Oh, thank the stars you answered. Katie, I worked some things out."

"And you had a burning desire to share?"

"The... things I couldn't see for you earlier, couldn't divine. I didn't understand then but I do now."

"Okay. But why are you calling me to say? You did the reading. Surely your job's done now."

"I told you you knew too much. I thought you did but you don't know anything really. You're learning though. Learning to fight, learning who to trust and who you should doubt."

"Mademoiselle Romani please. Slow down. What don't I know?"

"Oh stars. The things I know now, the things I need to tell you. You have to come to Ink Exchange. Right now. It's the only way you can see for yourself."

"Now? Seriously? It's like," Katie glimpsed the alarm clock by her bed, then checked her watch, hoping against hope her eyes were playing tricks, "four in the morning."

"I'm sorry, but it may be too late by the time the sun comes up."

"I'm on my way," Katie said, trying to hold down a yawn. It was funny how you seemed to be exhausted all in a moment when moving was essential. She started to take the phone away from her ear and heard a choked up, "Thank you."

"I need to-" she started to say to Leo then stopped herself. She didn't need to explain herself to him.

He was already headed for the door anyway.

As she dressed quietly by the weak light of her desk lamp, Katie gazed at the window and plotted her jailbreak. Simply walking downstairs and letting herself out the front door didn't seem like a very good option – not after the noise she had ended up making this (yesterday) morning. Nor did she wish to push her window wide and jump out. The ground below her window was hard concrete but if she jumped, she would miss that and land on top of flower beds and a scrap of grass. And she would almost certainly break her ankle and probably bust her wrist back open. If she was lucky.

Great. Two choices – one ended in her possible grounding and the other in broken bones. But only one of those ways would get her out of this house for sure.

Katie finished dressing, faded jeans and trainers and her comfiest Mr Men jumper over a vest top. She didn't bother with a coat. It would just get in the way. She threw open the window, grabbing it before it slammed against the frame, and looked out into the night. Ahh. The world wasn't totally against her then. If she climbed through the hole and stretched her left leg out like... yes she could just touch the black metal bracing of the drainpipe. She gripped the windowsill with the fingers of her right hand and shuffled over to get a better footing. Damn. Working her wrist even this little bit hurt; was making it scream to stop the pain. It was worth it when she managed to wrap her left hand around the back of the drainpipe and haul herself onto it like a koala. Somehow she managed to slide down it until it lurched to one side a foot or so above ground. It was an easy jump then. Not painless by any means – the impact just about force her femurs into her pelvis, although she had tried to remember what Adam had said about bending her knees if she fell,, turning the cartilage in her knees into mini shock absorbers.

It was as she was trying to brush the drainpipe grime from her clothes that a small dark shape dropped silently to the ground behind her. There were two more on either side of her.

Oh shit.

Maybe this was a dream.

Maybe they would go away if she shut her eyes tight and wished really hard.

_Nope. Still there._ Then _Face them you nit. They're just shadows._ A winning argument. Katie tensed and turned to face the one who had just dropped out of the sky like an angel cat.

"Don't say a word!" a voice warned, low and dangerous. "Not till we get out anyway."

"Jaye?"

"I said shush. You want them to hear?"

"You're here." There wasn't much else to do but state the obvious.

"And me." Dina.

"Me an' all." Leo.

"Why? This isn't the midnight Moonwalk."

"Katie. It's not even dawn yet, you're running off to God knows where, and there might be trouble."

"I'm going to see a psychic." _And, last time I checked, pictures weren't dangerous._

"At four in the morning. Sounds totally legit," Jaye replied.

"How did you-?"

"Door," Leo answered, before she had finished asking her question.

"Window," Jaye slotted in, pointing up to emphasise her point. "Gravity sucks."

Then Dina, fast becoming the voice of logic, raised a very important point. "Shouldn't we get moving before they hear us?"

Jaye was the only one of the group small enough to reach through the gap in the back gate and slipped the latch. The four of them filed out, past black bin liners and a leaning bicycle, as quietly as they could manage which was surprisingly very quietly indeed. "We're not letting you have all the fun here, babe."

"Let's just go before I crawl back to bed," warned Katie. "And if anything happens on the way, I never invited you. Load of crashers." Half-hearted insults were the best she could think of to relieve this coil-tight tension.

"Erm..." Dina put a hesitant hand up. A dark mass of skin and bone against an inky sky with just the faintest grey tinge of dawn, it looked a bit like a moving tree in the night. The thought made Katie bubble with laughter and she allowed herself a giggle disguised as a cough. "On the way where?"

"Here?"

"Problem?"

Leo took a look around him. The dark of night – and half past four was night in anybody's book – would make the nicest of neighbourhoods look spooky but here, on Penniton Row with its' dilapidated buildings and no people around, just felt downright creepy. "Looks like drug pushers paradise."

All the girls were feeling it too. Not quite the dread that an axe murderer was waiting round the next corner with blood already on his weapon and hate in his eyes and he didn't give a damn who was next or first or last because- _snap out of it bitch!_ Katie gave herself a mental slap and wiped a sweaty hand on her jumper. She was getting hot and bothered with the worry. They were a group of teenagers traipsing through the bad part of town in the dark. What could possibly go wrong? A list of possibilities started to form. Katie fixed on a light glowing dimly in a shop further down and headed towards it before her mind could get carried away with itself. "Ink Exchange," she said and stood before the group. "I really don't think you needed to come, guys. But... well..."

"It's fine. We could hardly let you come alone."

"What are Lainy and Adam going to think when they get up and we're not home?"

"We'll think of something to say."

"You never know, maybe it'll be cool."

"Yeah, Jaye, the kids they're meant to be looking after go missing and they'll be cool about it. Might not even notice. Stupid bitch," he added, more under his breath than usual.

"I only meant... I'm not sure what I meant. But they understand things don't work like clockwork."

While this was going on, Katie had walked up to the front door and was looking through. There was a strip light flickering over the counter, but the big room was empty of life. There were the pieces of furniture that had been there earlier although they didn't look as though they had even been sat on. She stood back and pushed at the door. "Mademoiselle Romani?" The front door was tightly locked. She called a few more times but got no response. There wasn't even the sound of any movement deep in the shop. To all intents and purposes there was no-one at home.

# Chapter six

The back door was open when they circled the shop. It was an old wooden door, quite thick but obviously not thick enough to stop determined burglars. Someone had taken a blunt object to the two locks on the door, breaking one open and bashing the other off so completely that it lay in pieces around their feet. The door was gently swinging in the breeze.

"Remember what I said about there being trouble?"

"Oh my God."

Dina put a hand on Katie's shoulder and tightly laced the fingers of her other hand with Jaye's. However you looked at it, this could be nothing but a bad thing. The tattoo shop was in silence. Would it have been any better if there had been any noise coming from it? Katie shrugged Dina off, fiddled with loose threads on her jumper to buy time then inched forward. "Ssshh." She held a finger to her lips as she nudged the door with one fingertip. They probably did not need telling to keep quiet - it just felt a bit more normal to have something to say. Like they were doing it properly. Whatever 'it' turned out to be. The splintered door swung open, millimetre by horrible millimetre, and Katie let her mind drift to what awful sight might be there to greet her on the other side. She was far too wound up by now to let her focus slip though.

"Katie," whispered Jaye. She looked even smaller than usual hunched over and dressed in black. They said it was a slimming colour but Jaye was virtually vanishing in it. Tiny and pale and afraid, she looked suddenly younger than Katie. She pulled herself up straight and closed the worried look off her face, going for something between a blank expression. "I should go in first," she bravely volunteered. "If there's someone in there, they can't hurt me."

"Oh Jaye." Katie leaned back against the wall to get her bearings. The room Mademoiselle Romani had taken her into earlier that (yester)day had been right behind the main shop and right, so it should be slightly to the left now. And it wasn't hard to guess which of the two doors at their left was the one they wanted. One was slightly ajar and completely dark. The other was shut tight. It was going to be the shut door. "You don't need to."

"I do though. After what I did to you... I have to even it out somehow."

"No, you don't. You didn't do those things, She did." Katie was reminded of the horrific things Jaye had done – been forced to do – when she had been bodysnatched last month. Jaye remembered each and every one. Shooting Katie, throwing her around the common room, breaking her wrist, threatening her friends and her home. And, despite all of that or maybe in spite of it, Katie had not given up trying to save her, had not thrown in the towel even when she had looked too far gone to be brought back. "You shouldn't have to pay for what She did."

"I still feel guilty." And before anyone could speak or stop her, Jaye had whipped around to the front of the door and was pressing down on the handle. The door opened and Jaye just stood there for a few seconds.

"Well?"

"Hang on." She fished out her keys and chose one keyring that looked like a pen. It turned out to be a slim torch. She popped it into her mouth, braced her hands on either side of the door frame and leaned in. The smell of oils and lotions was wafting out. No wonder Jaye didn't want to go further in if that stench was anything to go by. "Hmm hmm!"

Katie reached over and plucked the torch from her mouth, raising her eyebrows in a 'try again' gesture.

"Fake tan! Stinky aromatherapy oils! Stinks like it's not been used in a decade."

"You'd reckon they'd get it shifted. Fire risk," Leo pointed out.

"So, that leaves door number two." Katie swallowed hard and kicked it open before she had chance to think herself out of it.

She wished she had thought herself out of it.

The words weren't there to describe the horror inside that room. Katie took in the sight in just a glance – it was impossible not to look at Mademoiselle Romani before anything else – then averted her gaze. For, in the centre of the small storage room was a body half lying on the floor and the head lying sideways on the seat of a leather topped stool. Thankfully, Mademoiselle Romani was not staring at Katie with what she knew would be marble eyes and a mouth so slack a line of drool snuck out of one corner. She did not think she could see that and not let loose the acid bile that was travelling up her throat. She was already trying to ignore her stomach doing backflips at the sight of all that blood. It was everywhere. Not in pools or messy splodges like the TV showed; but there were spits here and there, arcs decorating the walls. And her clothes... God, her clothes were the worst of all. The white roses topping her blonde hair were splashed with red, giving the impression of some gruesome art wear. Her layers of muslin were slashed and lay around her in shreds. Her pale skirt was fine. It was intact – untouched by gore or lash. It only made the destruction wrought on her upper body more shocking. The skin on Mademoiselle Romani's back had been slashed this way and that so many time there was hardly any clear skin left visible.

"Oh my God."

"What's in there?"

Dina and the others came tumbling into the room. They all stopped and stared, taking in the horror as Katie had.

She glanced up. Even the strip light above had a line of blood across it. So much blood. _Don't look then._ Okay, that was simple. She just wouldn't look then. Not look at this poor, ravaged body – skinned alive and bleeding. Because, although Mademoiselle Romani's blood had obviously long since stopped oxygenating itself, thick trickles were still oozing lazily – _dead_ – from one or two of the deeper wounds. Trouble was, there wasn't anything else to look at in this place. Not unless she had a burning interest in tattoo inks. So she let her gaze flick back to the body. And then the whole thing just became too much. Her stomach twisted violently and she barely made it across the room before vomiting in a formerly empty cardboard box. A cool hand found her neck and scooped her long hair out of her face, holding it back while she finished throwing up whatever dinner she had left in her system.

"It's okay. Just let it come up on its' own." Dina's own voice was shaky but she sounded more in control of herself than Katie. How she wasn't joining the spew party was a miracle but Katie was glad of it. Someone had to be the adult here and she was definitely not it. "I think you're brave just for staying here. in all this..."

"She was my friend, my psychic. And now-" And that was it. Katie was bending over the box again, closing her eyes tight but seeing a whipped and bloody body etched into her eyelids. _God, what she must have felt. The agony._

"Don't hold it down, Katie." Then she must have turned to face the room because her voice changed slightly.. "Is she definitely-?"

"Unless she's some kind of superhero, I don't see how she could not be."

Katie straightened up and squeezed Dina's hand, communicating everything in that one touch even though she didn't have the words for it. A thank you for holding her hair, for being here, for not calling her a baby or making her feel like one, and for moral support for what she was going to do next. She turned back so she was facing the body and fixed her gaze at some imaginary picture just above it. _There. Not looking._ There was somebody missing. She was here, Dina was beside her, Leo was staring with morbid fascination at the body. No, at the slashes, Katie realised. She saw something silver glint and light up in blue and white. _Snick._

"Jaye went to get some air."

"Oh. Why didn't I think of that?" Katie asked, half to herself.

Leo put something in his pocket and edged towards the body.

"No. I should do it." But she didn't really want to.

Katie wished then that she had brought a coat, at least then she could cover her up – Mademoiselle Romani deserved that much. But none of them had. Jaye had a jacket but she was outside. The best they had was Leo's shirt and she wasn't even going to ask in case it left fabric fibres the police would trace back to him. That was if the police even came to town to investigate. These hypotheticals had kept her mind off centre long enough to reach a hesitant hand out to touch Mademoiselle. She could feel the cold coming of the flesh at just a few inches but she had to check for a pulse. Had to be _sure._ And just as she neared the neck, something flickered in the corner of her eye and it sent her skittering back on her backside.

The translucent form of Mademoiselle Romani rose from her dead body. She looked as healthy as she had earlier in the day only now she was incorporeal and you could see right through her. She opened her mouth to speak. A perfect mouth – no blood, no drool.

"Yes... I am."

"Mademoiselle Romani?"

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this. It was the only way. Truly, it was. I know you're there Katie, I know you're all there. I can't see you yet but one day I will again."

"What happened?"

"I died."

"Why? Did you do something?"

The ghost shrugged. "It's hard to say. But you need to listen to me. I saw things earlier and I found out what they meant tonight. I saw you, child, and you alone. There will be a battle. You kick and scream and punch your way through. You will face monsters – monsters so fierce that I can't even describe them. I saw you fighting. Under the sun, under the moon, under the storm and the stars. There will be tests and you can't fail, Katie, you mustn't. The price will be too high."

"Fighting? When? 'Cos I have work in, like seven hours."

"Don't go!" She moved forward to touch Katie's arm but caught herself just in time. "Promise me you won't go there! All those hands trying to get a piece of you. I can't stand to watch."

"I also don't know how to fight."

"You don't need to. Not like a boxer or a martial artist. Just fight it." That made a lot of sense. "Oh Katie, you have to be on your guard every second. The monsters could be anywhere, anything, anyone.

"Before you ask, I don't know who did this to me. I'm not sure of much at the moment. I just had to tell you what I saw."

"But you're coming back... right?"

"Not like I was before. Sometimes the dead have to stay dead." Mademoiselle Romani glanced at Leo and gave him a thin smile, as if just noticing him standing there. "But I'll be around to help when I can."

"Wait," she shouted as the dead psychic began to fade further.

"Just fight them. They think they can win, that they can control you, but you can resist. But fight."

And then she was gone.

"Well... that was interesting," Dina piped up from the corner. "Anyone know what that was all about?" The question was met with a wall of silence. No-one knew the answers and no-one wanted to make a suggestion.

"Bobby Fish!" Katie blurted and ran over to the goldfish bowl, her stomach bouncing unhappily with every step.

"What?"

"Bobby Fish." The name alone wasn't the explanation Katie had been hoping for. "Mademoiselle Romani had a pet goldfish. Bobby Fish. Poor little thing must have seen it all."

"Too bad he can't tell us who did it."

"And if they're coming back."

_Monsters._ Now that the word was fresh in her mind, Katie could think of nothing else. _They're not coming back._

They're right here.

"Out!" Katie bellowed. The sound echoed around the tiny room and she felt a bit stupid for being so loud. Really, there was no need for this volume but an unidentified panic had gripped her and plain instinct was running the show for the foreseeable future. "Get the door!"

"What're you on?"

"Just do it. There's no time to – oh, hell, I'll do it myself."

But trying to rest the weight of a sloshing goldfish bowl on her good arm and get the door was proving to be a bit of a problem. Leo stepped in front of her and grasped her shoulder, stilling her pushes forward.

"Leo, get out of my way."

"Not until you tell us what's going on."

"I don't know. But I've got a feeling and we need to get out of here." She glanced down at Bobby Fish. He was swimming around calmly – likely thinking this was a fun ride.

"Why?"

"Something's going to-" Katie coughed. A thin line of smoke was drifting under the door. "Listen to me. Can you see that?" She pointed down at the smoke, hoping the sight would shock him into doing what he was told. But Leo only shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. Dina also denied seeing it, with an apologetic smile. Katie looked down once more. Thin grey wisps were still below the door but, she realised, she was wrong. There was no smoke. At least – not yet. The grey breaths were floating wisps of energy. The dark energy leftover from the events that had happened here? Shouldn't that be inside? Even so... "We need to move it! NOW!"

That was a voice not to be ignored. Okay it was shakier and more strained than Katie would have liked but it definitely got her friends moving. Even Dina, who was pressing herself further and further into the shadows, looking vulnerable and scared and very much like the wretched figure she had been a month ago, was slowly edging towards Katie with one hand out. Katie reached her strapped wrist around and laced her fingers with hers. It was easy to forget that Dina was still being counselled for depression after her suicide attempt –she could seem so grown up and in control – but really she was just a girl who had a brave face. Leo gripped the door handle and pushed. It opened easily. But black smoke rushed at them and flames licked the back door.

Their escape route was blocked.

_I was right,_ Katie thought with a strange sense of satisfaction. _It was a fire._

# Chapter seven

All sense of urgency left her body.

She was halfway happy to lean back and watch this hungry tickle of flame become a blaze, eating up the darkness, the oxygen and the shop with it. The destruction this thing could wreak if allowed to become the glorious/ravenous beast it could surely be. With a little love and attention, these wooden doors could be in ashes, the bricks hot dust, the very foundations might melt beneath her feet. And it would be stunning – gold and leaping flame. A stifling heat that sapped your energy, made it impossible to move but cuddled a person in such comfort and warmth that you wouldn't _want_ to move. Toxic smoke that filled lungs and chased away the urge to breathe anything else as it heated first your organs then blood then skin and then you were part of the fire itself. _Oh God..._ and there were chemicals here. Therapy oils, antiseptic, tan and inks, all so flammable. Tiny explosions naturally but so many of them and so pretty. Yes, her friends were likely to get caught in the middle but... _my friends..._ If they delayed the beauty of this fiery monster, they were worth the gamble. Some part of Katie knew this feeling was wrong and tried to shake her morals awake. The part fascinated by this advancing wall of flames was bigger though. It was hypnotic to watch it burn through everything it touched.

In the end, her sense of self-preservation won. Katie was getting hot, really hot, and she was coughing up nothing but scratches in her throat. It felt as though something acid and poisonous was trying to crawl into her lungs. Dina and Leo were looking at her expectantly in between their own choking fits. Katie would save them. Katie always saved them.

Today will be different.

She knew what they were thinking. Leo and Dina had seen her fight for her life, cry over somebody else's and go to war for more. It was true, she had risked a lot for her friends – no doubt a lot more than she would have if she had sat down and thought about it logically, rations, made a list of PROS and CONS –but she wouldn't do it again. Couldn't. This thing was too strong. This attraction to the darkness, this yearning for chaos and damage.

Fight it, Katie. Just fight it.

It's too strong.

There's a bigger fight coming. You have to win this one so you can face another one. I saw you do it. Keep fighting.

Mademoiselle Romani?

Katie had no plan. She never had a plan – just made mistake after mistake until something turned out right – but she had instinct. Instinct and friends who needed her to help. Reality snapped back into this warm space.

She pointed to the door to the main shop. It was locked, she remembered, but it would be cool and untouched by the fire. "Hold hands!" she yelled back to the other two. They looked uncertain for a second but locked their hands together as Katie started to the other door. It was only a few feet but the fire had made the place disorienting – even more so because there was no light – and getting turned around in the confusion was definitely not an option. She wiped her sweaty forehead and pushed the door open to the shop front. It was much cooler in here and natural light was tinting the room with a pleasant lilac hue. It was a few seconds – a few really long seconds – before Leo and Dina staggered through. Their faces were smudged with soot already and Katie felt... nothing. They were just people. Humans who happened to be in this shop at this moment with her. It could easily have been seven billion other individuals. But she was here with these pair and she was getting out; may as well take them along for the ride.

"What? Is something else wrong?"

"Hunh?" Katie blinked. Something was taking her over and making her think bad thoughts. And it was something she didn't want to touch or feel again. Not ever. Because these were her friends and whatever dark things were crawling around inside her, she couldn't let her friends bear the brunt. There was a wall in her mind – a wall behind which she shoved painful memories and let them out a little at a time – and the storage space was filling fast, but she pushed as hard as she could and focused.

"Katie! Don't space on us."

"Okay, first thing – put Bobby Fish somewhere safe." She gratefully handed the heavy bowl off to Dina. "No! Not on the counter – his water will boil."

"Now what?" Dina looked at Katie like a soldier waiting for orders.

"Second-" she turned her attention to the door. Leo was busy twisting some towels and stacking them at the bottom of the door as a barrier for the smoke to meet.

If only I couldn't hear it singing.

"Oh. That would have been second."

"So we skip that part. What next?"

It took Jaye finally managing to bash the reinforced glass picture window in with a brick before they could get out. Katie had stripped her jumper off in the increasing heat, which she wrapped around the exposed parts of her strapped wrist and used the protected arm to clear out the broken glass still in the edges of the frame. Leo clambered through first and then helped the girls through.

"You did it. And you're okay," Jaye squealed excitedly, rushing to hug all of them.

Oh Christ, the air had never tasted so sweet. Slightly bitter from the fire but cool and fresh and sweet. "Hugs later," Katie barked and wriggled free. Jaye looked a bit hurt. "Now we run."

"Gotcha!"

Jaye linked arms with Dina and half-ran, half-staggered down Penniton Row. Katie found she could move little better but followed them before they disappeared completely, leaving Leo to follow with the fish.

They finally stopped running and fell in a heap on the first patch of grass they found. It was between the old and modern parts of town. It was close enough that home didn't seem a world away. They could also clearly see the occasional jumps in the fire as some new part of Ink Exchange caught ablaze and burnt away. _And that could have been these guys right here. Sitting next to you and looking after you._ A brush of guilt brought tears to brown, sore eyes. It made them sting more and she couldn't stop tears from falling.

"Hey hey hey. We're all okay. The danger's over."

"Yeah, babe. It's gone now."

"Want my opinion, someone set that fire to burn her away."

"No-one asked," Jaye snapped and went to comfort Katie.

"Who?"

"The psychic. First rule of murder. Don't leave a body where anyone can find it."

"But sending the whole place up is extreme. Like, dangerously extreme."

"Maybe they wanted to destroy the evidence." Leo drew a pattern in the dew with his finger – a circle with various points which he jabbed a finger at as he spoke. "Mademoiselle Romani gets killed. We find the body. The fire starts after as we didn't see it on the way in. Someone knew we were there. Therefore, it fried the body but we were meant to be there too."

"Guys, can you shut it a minute? Can't you see you're upsetting Katie?"

"I'm not crying because it could have been me. I'm crying because I wanted it to be you."

Jaye took her hand away suddenly and dropped to her knees. "What?"

"All of you. I saw the flames and they called my name. They wanted me to watch it burn the entire building to the ground and i – i just had this desire to let it. I wanted us all to be safe, you have to believe that, but this thing inside just didn't care as long as it got to watch the fire grow. That was stronger than anything." She didn't think she was explaining it very well. The alternating looks or horror, disgust and confusion on her friends' faces proved the point. Everything would become clear. "it was just the fire, the destruction-" _obliteration_ "-that got hold of me. I can still feel it calling me, trying to pull me back."

"You're not making any sense," Dine pointed out gently.

Katie sighed and shuffled around so she could better see the fire marking out Penniton Row. She felt a bone-deep sigh brewing. "I know. Nothing makes much sense."

"You're saying you wanted us all to burn?"

"Told you she was nuts."

"Not helping," Jaye shot back and gave him a very solid sounding elbow in the ribs. "It's not her fault."

"Got any other blame monkeys around then?"

"Did she kill the psychic? Did she start the fire? Did she ask us to go get ourselves caught up in it? No. So just zip it, right." Jaye turned from Leo – who did not seem to like being pointedly dismissed – and looked in Katie's eyes. They were fever-bright and shiny. Whether that was tears, shock, relief or something else entirely, seemed like a stupid question. There were so many emotions flying around this small patch of grass that singling any one out was nigh on impossible. Jaye reached out but stopped just before she touched that bare arm, her fingers hovering in mid-air. Why wasn't she – oh, yes, she was shivering – such tiny movements and so fast that they could be missed completely. Why didn't Katie say anything? Or, at least ask for her jumper back from where it was wrapped around the goldfish bowl? Didn't she feel the cold morning chill? Didn't she care?

"I'm cold," Katie chattered. Leo unwrapped her jumper and sent Mr Strong sailing through the air. Jaye stretched out to catch it, but Katie grabbed her thin wrist in an iron grip and slammed the hand to her chest, _straight to the heart,_ and felt her fingers fade right through her clothes and her skin until she was stroking her very soul.

Forgive me.

It had to be like this. Had to be this quick, this violent. Any more time to think, to warn Jaye of what she was planning – far worse than just refusing to do it, she might have thought up some lie to cover up whatever she was seeing or built her own wall against anything unpleasant she might find.

And what exactly was she seeing? A ball of energy like Katie always imagined. _A tangled orb of silvery thread shot through with strikes of purple-black that writhed and wriggled and grew and got more and spread like a silvery spider with legs of black a million and more which would creep and crawl before it pounced it would bite it would poison it would-_

"Woah!" exclaimed Jaye. She jerked her hand away like she had just gotten an electric shock. "Wow, babe. How can you keep that all inside?"

"That's what I'm trying to say. It's trying to get out. And I can't stop it all the time. I'm not strong enough."

"That's just... I don't know what to do. I can't get it out of you or anything. What did you think I was gonna do?"

Katie shrugged. She hadn't thought anything really. "Don't know. Maybe I wanted it to be an explanation for why I'm acting all crazy. It'll only get worse."

Jaye stretched up and planted the lightest kiss on Katie's forehead, right over the invisible bullet hole. Then she smiled a little sadly and took a breath. Morning breeze was rippling through the messy black hair, still tangled and bed-heady, and it was beginning to drizzle. But the tiny girl hardly noticed. All of her attention was on the girl sitting in front of her – nearly three years her junior and over half a foot taller. Innocent and yet she had learnt so much about the world, the cruelty people were capable of. She had let Jaye shoot her, beat her, threaten the people she loved, and she had made it all okay with a wave of her hand because She had been in the driving seat.

But it wasn't okay.

She still felt bad and she knew that Dina felt bad for getting trapped in the End Place in the first place. Leo, in her opinion, had plenty of reasons to feel bad. They would make this right.

Together.

"So," she started but then the words ran out.

"Who do you think did it?" Dina finished off.

Everyone was glad to get off the topic of Katie and whatever was inside her. Of course, Jaye had not been exactly descriptive on that score. Perhaps it was too horrible and it defied explanation. But, Dina had asked an equally impossible question too.

"Some-one who meant it. Somebody who knew what they were doing." Everyone turned to Leo. "Those cuts... they were down to the bone. And they knew we'd find it."

"Mademoiselle Romani," Katie corrected instantly. "Even if we couldn't save her, she still deserves her own name."

"Yeah, whatever. They hung around to set that fire. Burn the body, burn the people who saw it. No evidence."

"The perfect mass murder."

"Which they thought they'd get away with. We need to tell somebody about this. Adam and Lainy, grown-ups."

Katie turned to Dina, eyes flying wide. It made perfect sense. Let the adults handle this awful crime between themselves. That's what they were there for – to take care of the major stuff and to be responsible and objective about things. She should just go home and sleep and study and eat dinner like any other teenage girl. These were meant to be carefree days. _Yes. Let's just get on with enjoying being a kid and let them do the boring grown up bits. Sit back. Watch them do the hard stuff for a change._ How easy would that be? And it was the way it should be. "Hell, no!"

What?

Those weren't the words she had meant to say.

"Excuse me?"

"No. I was meant to find that body. That fire was meant for me?"

"You figure that how?"

"I don't know." Katie was on the verge of tears again but she was worked up enough to swallow them back down. "It was set up for me to walk straight into a trap. Find the body and be rooted to the floor with fear, be mesmerised by the fire, I don't know, but it's always meant for me. It's my problem. I'll sort it out."

"Not without help you won't." Dina got to her feet and stretched, all angles and shadows in the rising sun. "Let's get some rest and we can work this out over lunch or something."

"Who knew you were at the shop?"

"Questions Leo? Now?" She smacked him lightly on the head to shut him up – which he did, surprisingly – hauled Jaye to her feet and walked off towards Newton Street, juggling Bobby Fish between them.

Leo also got up, barely taking his eyes off Katie. She was a puzzle. One with a few pieces missing. He shook his head with a slight frown and headed back into the bad part of town. No doubt looking for a pub or dive bar that was open so early – and there were always one or two. Around here, people had plenty of reasons to start drinking early.

And then Katie was alone.

She thought over her options and decided to call on the one person she thought might be able to give her some answers.

Jack.

No answer. No gentle tug on the ball of energy inside her. No familiar squeezing around her stomach.

Oh well. No worries. It had taken a few minutes to get hold of him yesterday. She would just wait five minutes –rest her eyes for a few – then try again. Which she did. One, two, three times. And still nothing. Annoyed, Katie scrambled up and started to jog home. In the comfortable left/right rhythm, things started to focus into actual shapes, fade into some kind of perspective. There were her problems which – okay – seemed huge but were totally dealable. And then there were her friends' problems which she felt like she should help solve. Lainy and Adam... well, they were more like the couple she had moved in with six weeks ago but it just didn't _feel_ as natural. Here was Jaye, who hadn't quite forgiven herself for her forays into the dark side of being a Shade. Then there was the little boy trapped in-

"Oh..."

A small, frail body threw itself into her pumping arms and Katie reflexively wrapped them around the body. Then she looked around, realising that she had somehow overshot Newton Street by almost a half-mile and was nearing the Levenson campus, and then down to find Bernice in her arms, crying into the folds of her jumper and clinging to her like a child to its' mother.

"You must think me a terrible fool, young Katie."

"Bernice, I-"

"I went to the stadium to pick up some things and I just... I wanted to bury Roy with his favourite photo of us. And – and that clipboard. He always said it would go to his grave with him. Silly things really."

"It's not silly."

"Roy loved his work. Loved all you kids. Stew-dents he said. Stew – like you eat. And then I remembered how he loved my stew and..." The old woman dissolved into tears again and Katie didn't know what to do other that hold her and keep kissing her thin grey hair. Truthfully, the memory of Roy and how nice he had always been to her, had woken up pissed and smacked her in the face. Slapped so hard she wanted to join in the crying. "I don't mean to burden you, Katie. I saw you outside his room yesterday. It must have been awful. A pretty girl like you around something like that... I don't think it's right."

"These things can't be helped, Bernice. Can't be helped."

"Oh, I've soaked right through your top. You should go change." Bernice stood back, dabbing her eyes with the inside cuff of her blouse, and smiled a little shakily.

"I will. Are you going to be okay if I leave now?"

"Of course," she sniffed. "Off with you. Go on."

_I can't leave her. Not like this._ "You know what? I'll come pick his stuff up with you."

"I don't want to impose."

"You're not." Because this was what mattered. Not the crawling thing inside which was trying to feed her pleasure with no regard for consequences; but the people she lived with. Forget the tug of war going on between her morals and her compassion. For the next few minutes, Bernice was the only one who featured in her world. _Her_ grief, _her_ loss, _her_ attempts to keep going. "I'm so sorry. I loved Roy like my own grandfather. He looked out for me when I first got here and I was scared."

"He was like that. Had an eye for the lonely ones, he did. Said it was part of his job to take care of the athletes as well as the building. That's what caretaker means, he said."

"I guess."

Then they were outside the stadium and Bernice was fumbling a key into the lock of Roy's tiny office. It was more like a large broom cupboard really. There was a mid-sized desk which took up fully half the available space and was covered in papers, photos, pens and pretty much everything else a man might ever need. There was the swivel chair he always sat on, worn almost to the foam where he had spent all those long days resting in it. One wall supported another chair, some achievement plaques and a coat stand. Other than a wicker bin and the broken down heater Roy had been good-naturedly complaining about the last time Katie had spoken to him, that was it. This was the sum total of his working life. It seemed so sad. Roy had always seemed like he loved his work, that he had been doing it so long he could do it with his eyes closed, and this – _this_ – was all there was to show for it. Katie didn't interfere while Bernice picked through his belongings and filled a carrier bag with the few things she wanted to take home.

"You look awful, dear," said the old woman. She wheeled Roy's chair over to the other side of the desk and sat down waving Katie into the other one. Under the artificial glare of the single bare bulb, she could see the girl's tear- and soot-streaked face and clothes, the panicked flickering of her eyes – unable to stay on any one thing for long. There was a pallor to her skin barely visible under her fading tan but a wise eye could see it nevertheless. It was also evident in the way Katie was moving – delicate butterfly movements that seemed too exaggerated to be natural. "Now, sit down and tell me all about it. I'd make tea but I don't think Roy ever got around to putting a kettle in."

And Katie knew, just knew, she was going to break down again. But the sobs that came out were dry ones. "Everything's wrong! I try to do the right thing but it always ends up going wrong and then I get hurt and it's not fair. It's not fair because I'm trying!" She took a deep breath, trying to take herself back to that place where nothing was too big to handle. She had dealt with every other traumatic event this year and come out fine. No reason why she shouldn't get through this week too. "Hooh," she whistled, scraping her hair back into a headband she had found in a pocket. "Okay. I've been having bad dreams about people chasing me, only they're not real people, they're these zombie things who look like my friends and I think they want to kill me. Then I was trying to help my boyfriend find his father and I saw him but I can't say anything. He made me promise. Any now I can't get hold of my boyfriend at all. This morning, my friends and I found a dead body and then somebody set fire to the building but we got out and now I have to look after the fish. And to top it off, I've got this thing in me, this black, evil thing which is eating me up bit by bit and..." after all the insanity she had just blurted out this was the hardest bit to say. The bit that sounded truly crazy. "I'm not sure I want to stop it again. Maybe I should let the zombies get me."

"What are you talking about child?"

"I knew you wouldn't believe me."

"It does sound a bit like... science fiction. Or a horror film – is that still popular?"

"Yeah, it's not as good as it used to be though. The Birds, Psycho, The Exorcist, they were the scary ones because it was all new and creepy. Now they just try to outdo each other with the jump scares and the effects."

"I can imagine. It's all been said and done."

"But what I'm saying is true!" Katie insisted. "I wouldn't lie about it."

"I don't suppose you would."

"So you believe me? Actually, no, it doesn't matter if you do or don't. You asked and I told. The deal's done."

"Oh, I do wish you wouldn't try to take the world on alone."

"Bernice, these aren't your problems. I'm here to help you, not the other way around." She grinned, a smile she thought would crack her face, and picked up the full carrier bag. "I'll be okay. Sleep, food, everything looks better on a full stomach you know."

"It does?"

"Works for me anyway."

"I'll try that. Lord knows, I need to do something normal."

Katie's mind flew to the hospital and the doctors just standing back from the bed and stopping Roy's treatment. That wasn't normal.

"I've been all out of routine. Haven't eaten."

"You have to eat. You think he'd want you to starve?"

Bernice looked up at Katie and threw her arms around the girl. It was etched deeply in her face. Her honesty was refreshing. It had been a long time since a kid had been that honest about anything, maybe a touch too honest, but she was sticking a brave mask over her emotions – a mask brittle enough it might well crack at any time. If Katie needed to cry, scream, rant at God for tainting this young life with such a shocking first experience with death, then she should. With a final half-hug and some mumbled words of thanks, Bernice wrestled her carrier bag and shuffled her cosy booted feet home. It took Katie a flat second to turn and start pounding home. Her thoughts were with Bernice. She didn't know how long she and Roy had been married; didn't know how bad it had hurt to watch him die all alone; didn't know anything really. But she could imagine. Under the sun, in this harsh light, he was truly gone. The chair in his office swung empty. The coat he had worn was folded away in another empty room, never to be worn again. The kind eyes and kinder smile – which were not always deserved – were dead organs and stiff facial muscles now, memories that meant nothing now. Nothing because they would never be real again. He was nothing but a body now – a man who never was. But in the darkest part of the night he could be there, really _there_ , even if he was a dream. The night was a time for dreams to come true.

She was so interested in her meandering train of thought that she didn't see the tall man stepping in front of her until she ran headfirst into his chin.

"Woah there little lady," he said, holding Katie at arm's length until she regained full balance. "Where's the fire?"

_If only you knew..._ "Henry?"

"The very same."

She stepped back and squinted up at sea green eyes. How could she ever have doubted him? "What are you doing here? How did you even get back?" she shuddered at the memory of how it had hurt to bring him through yesterday, how it had felt like she was being torn apart and roughly stitched back up only for the ripping to come all over again, and tried to replace her face with one she didn't recognise – a stranger who wouldn't know what to expect. It wasn't hard. It didn't appal her – putting an innocent person through that agony. _Everybody has to learn. Why not the hard way?_

Henry Lawson shrugged. The gesture seemed odd on him because he carried himself like a man who was always sure of himself. "You haven't told Jack about me?"

"Haven't seen him since-" _I slapped him_ "- yesterday. He won't even answer when I call. It's... it doesn't feel right. He's always there."

"Trouble?"

"Well, I'm still breathing. Probably."

He didn't get the jump of logic but he shook it away. "No, you. You've been in trouble." He touched her dirty face, wiped away escaped tears.

"It's nothing," Katie lied. "I'm just worried. About Jack. It's not like him to ignore me."

"How long were you trying to get in touch?"

"Just this morning. I know it's stupid after just a few hours but he always knows when I need him and if he can't come, he always sends a message. I hit him last night – it was for the best, trust me – and I think maybe I just really pissed him off." Then she had a sudden thought. "You know what that means right? I mean they swear in all those old westerns."

"The word wasn't so common in my day but yeah, I know what it means." He smiled and all the lights went on in the world because-

Because that was Jack's smile. And, for a brief second while that smile lasted, he was back. Jack was standing before Katie. And then a low voice with a tightly wound in Texas accent, shattered the illusion. "Could be me. He knows you're keeping a secret – me – and now he's just sulking."

"He's angry with me. I just know he is. He's trying to teach me a lesson."

"No way could he be angry with you. He's never been in love before but I have and I know it when I see it. And that boy of mine would forgive you of stealing the crown jewels."

Katie knew she was blushing. Her body was doing things her mind was working too fast to control. "And I'm keeping you a secret because why?"

"Because I asked you to."

Well, that was a good reason. No further questions.

"Jack grew up without me in his life. I regret that. More than anything I want to take that time back." He heaved a sad sigh. This was a story he could do without telling but Katie would never keep him quiet without some kind of explanation. Henry sat down on a low wall outside the old house on Newton Street and beckoned Katie over to sit next to him. "He convinced himself I died when he was a kid and if he knew I had always been around, always been watching him, it might destroy him. turn him into someone different. I could do that when he spent all his time in the Dead World."

"The Dead World?" Katie repeated slowly. How many different realms were there and wasn't this one bad enough? "Not the End Place? Or the Other Place?"

"Our destinations were decided long before the End Place was used like limbo. Anyway, since he started spending more and more time here, I had to follow him here... and it's not so easy."

"Because?" She thought she knew where this part was going to spin out to but a seed of doubt insisted that she get Henry to say it.

"Because I'm not meant to be in your world. It causes ripples and Jack can feel them. If he comes looking..."

"I won't say anything to Jack."

"Oh Christ. Oh thank you Katie. All I want to do is look out for my boy."

"So where were you when he got shot?"

He looked stung. The barb had struck home and it had been meant to. Katie wanted to lash out. To hurt this strange man who had come along just as her world was falling apart. "I didn't mean that."

"You did. And you're right. I should have been there."

And that was the conversation over. Henry stayed seated on the wall, frozen by guilt or thought or just lack of anywhere else to go, while Katie went into the house.

There was a clanging of pots and pans and the smell of frying eggs. Adam had assumed his natural position behind the frying pan, and Dina and Jaye were squabbling over the toaster – fruity toast versus Pop Tarts. Jaye – definitely the boss when it came to food-related decisions – brushed her friend away with a laugh and made a round of fruity toasties with as many fruit flavours as she could find in the cupboard. A fruit toasty seemed to be a jam sandwich which was stuffed into a toaster bag until it popped back up. It sounded nice actually and Katie put her order in.

Dina was wearing a thick dressing gown and her short black hair was drying in tangled waves. Jaye looked perfect as she always did, her black hair in a million spikes with the very beginnings of her roots coming through. They were so tiny that Katie couldn't tell her natural colour. They were standing there, laughing with Adam with their backs to her. Katie looked down at herself, suddenly realising how much she resembled a long-abandoned rag doll. The others weren't ignoring her and were throwing the odd comment over to her but she couldn't engage with them like this. No, she needed to be clean and wearing fresh clothes. Trying to fit in with the carefree breakfast routine would be much easier once she felt human again.

"Won't be long."

Katie bolted upstairs, grabbed some clothes and jumped into the quickest (and coldest) shower she had ever had. Then she went back down to the kitchen where Adam had added bacon to the pan. Two fruit toasties and some fresh fruit lay on the table. They were quickly joined by two more and the beginnings of a full English.

"So..." started Adam, his back to the girls. The pan had long since stopped sizzling but he was watching the man who had just come around the back of the fence. The broken panel made it easy to see him. The man could have come into the back garden but he just looked through the gap, nodded ever so slightly, and disappeared again. Katie noticed without being noticed noticing. "What have you been doing?"

The three of them exchanged frantic glances, making a silent pact not to say anything without the agreement of the other two. But hen Adam slid the rest of the fried goodies onto the table, sat down and dug in, and it suddenly wasn't a very easy agreement to stick to.

"Anything fun? Oh, I saw we had a new housemate but I'm not comfortable charging rent to a goldfish."

"Yeah, we're looking after him for a friend. Bobby Fish, right, babe?"

Katie nodded, not trusting herself enough to speak. The food in front of her was practically begging her to eat it and her stomach was on the food's side, but hunger was the furthest thing from her mind. Right now, the priority was getting her homework done. Leaving during breakfast would be suspicious, not to mention rude. Once her homework was done, she would have time to concentrate on more important things. Things like avoiding the nightmares she knew were waiting for her the moment she relaxed. Zombies, missing boyfriends, warnings of a really really final fight – things like that.

The morning had slipped away unnoticed and unloved, and noon was less than an hour away. Homework – maths, English, psychology and social education – was stacked in colour coded folders at the edge of her desk. Katie had tidied her room and even hoovered up the Doritos crumbs Leo had left the night before. That was enough of the domesticated life for one day.

She had considered the promise she had made Mademoiselle Romani but decided she really could not afford to lose a days' pay. Also, she liked her job, was actually good at it, and missing work just because a dead psychic had warned her that... what? There were hands groping for her; trying to cop a feel? Well, okay, sure it might be unpleasant to watch but it was the kind of thing Katie dealt with every shift. Plus, she had that neat finger-breaking trick now. Decided, Katie stuffed her keys, wallet and phone into her miniature backpack, wriggled into the black and red long-sleeved top with SHIMMA stitched into the back of the neck and hurried for the door. Nearly made it too. "And where do you think you're going?"

She turned her back to Dina and awkwardly pointed to the name on her shirt.

"Oh hell no. After what she said? After what you promised?"

"I didn't promise anything." She was careful to whisper – voices carried on this house and they were standing in the open front door- not exactly the most natural place for a conversation. "Mademoiselle Romani told me not to go there but I never said I wouldn't."

"But she said... fighting... and danger... the monsters... and fighting."

"Uh-huh."

"Don't you think it'd be safer just to stay home?"

"Course it would." Katie smiled and put a hand on the older girls arm, aware that she was touching one of those silver thread scars. "But I'm not losing my job for a warning we can't even decipher."

"It might be real though. The monsters, I mean, they might be there."

"I've seen plenty of monsters lately. They don't frighten me."

# Chapter eight

When Katie walked through the recessed side door to the club, she realised she had been wrong. Very wrong indeed. There were monsters shouting at TV screens, clinking glasses way too loudly and being very vulgar in their speculations of each others parentage and generally creating chaos, and it _was_ frightening. So frightening that she was tempted to turn tail and run home. She was considering this when Shimma, the owner/manager of the club spotted her from behind the bar and pointed to her while talking to somebody on staff she didn't know. The lunch shift on Sunday was not part of her regular shift pattern but every few weeks, Shimma held a football day at the club where all the lads – and a handful of the girls – could hole up and get tanked up in front of a full day of live matches. The aggression tended to be turned towards the referee or dirty players and lager tended to loosen their wallets as well as their tongues.

"Hi."

"You doing okay, chick?" Shimma said back. He didn't really want an answer, it was just how he greeted most people. "Right, there's a hundred in already." Jesus, no wonder it was noisy. "But it's still early. Big matches start in half an hour and it'll get busy so I need you out front stamping wrists. When kick-off comes, I'll pull you back in to start taking food orders."

Katie hadn't even taken her bag or coat off but Shimma had already dashed off elsewhere without even waiting for an answer. She saluted his disappearing head. "Yes sir."

Bag and jacket safely stashed upstairs in the break room, Katie took a seat behind the hatch just inside the main doors. It was her job to check ID, take entrance money, stamp hands with a bold, black S, and point people to another hatch where another girl – Felicity maybe? Felicia? – would take their coats and anything else they wanted kept safe. One of the bouncers she had called Skinhead when she had turned up for a shift and now answered to little else, nodded to her and mouthed "Get ready." Then he opened the door and let the first half dozen people in. Katie plastered her work smile on and went through the speech she had down to a T. "Welcome to Shimma. No violence, no touching, no shirking on the tips. Money and ID please." It was short and sweet but it made the point that bad behaviour was not something you could get away with here. And if anyone started arguing, she just pressed a little bit harder than she needed to with the stamp. "Have fun!" She always ended with those words and a smile. It improved the tips if people recognised a smiling face.

It went on like that for half an hour or so – Skinhead would let in a handful of punters at a time – the miniscule reception area got suffocatingly crowded very quickly otherwise – and Katie would pass them into the club. And then she heard voices in the main room roar as the game kicked off. No-one but a few stragglers would come in until the afternoon match. She was only working the build-up to that one.

"Yo, time to change." Shimma came out of the club and waggled his fingers through Felicity or Felicia's hatch. "Not expecting anyone in for a few. You can cover both." It wasn't a question or a request, but it wasn't quite an order. Shimma was too confident to give orders – he just knew what each member of his staff could and couldn't do. He just didn't know when they were illegally working in a place where alcohol was served.

_The police are hardly likely to come and arrest us both though, are they? Can't even be bothered to investigate the fire this morning._ That tugged at the edges of her mind. When her break rolled around, she wanted to check something out.

"Right, pencil and pad." Shimma held up a finger like he was trying to hold onto a thought, and reached behind Katie to a tower of wooden drawers. Out of one of them, he plucked a HB pencil like she had learnt to write with in primary school and a thin pad of paper hooked into a board covered with black leather and branded SHIMMA in red on the bad. "Redesigning the brand. Red and black's cliché. Needs a female touch."

Felicity or Felicia glanced over at them. "I'll do it!"

"No rush, girl."

"Whenever. I used to study media and image and things. I know I can come up with something good."

"Sure. You whip something up. We'll talk."

"Tables," Katie reminded her boss, then leaned back through the hatch. "Subtle. Keep it looking sexy and sophisticated. It's not the Wacky Warehouse." She had spent many happy hours playing in the Wacky Warehouse when she was growing up – racing other kids to the slide, diving into the ball pit, climbing foam stairs to the plastic tunnel... But that was childhood, that was over. This was adulthood and it was right here and now.

"Drinks and sides get written down. There's an electric board you can carry for proper food. Numbers on every table corner. It's Sunday – flirt a little, they tip better," he finished with a wink. It was like he knew that money was tight. "You'll be fine."

Katie wasn't as certain. She had never had to take food orders from tables before, they normally had to queue at the bar to order, but she gulped down her fear and gripped her pad and pencil hard enough to snap. Then she straightened her clothes and headed out into the riot. It was clear to see the supporters of the two teams and the neutral observers stuck in the middle. There was still quite a bit of noise but it was all friendly which was a bonus. She grabbed the electronic order board from Mikey on the bar, and started to make her way around the tables. "Hi guys," she greeted the first group she came to. There were two young mean and two bored-looking young women, presumably girlfriends. "Can i get you refills, snacks, your half time order?"

"Yeah, thanks." One of the blokes waved to the selection of bottles and glasses on the table. "And burgers for half time. With onion rings."

Katie pressed the right buttons on her board and peered at the labels on the bottles to get the order.

"Oh, foul! That's right ref, pretend you didn't see it. Wait, I'll take these back," he said, noting her strapped up wrist.

"You don't have to." She loaded everything onto a beery tray and worked for a better grip. Carrying full trays with only one hand wasn't easy but she had devised a system of tucking everything else into the waistband of her jeans or the pocket of her top so she could keep one hand free for balance. "It's my job." But she let him, pressed the SEND ORDER to the kitchen and moved on.

Mademoiselle Romani had been right. There had been a lot of hands trying to touch – not outright groping but certainly lingering a little too long on casual touches, or 'accidentally' brushing against her when they jumped up to celebrate a goal. Nothing she could handle. And, if anyone did get a bit lairy, Skinhead would throw them out or have a word to calm it down. When the whistle blew for a fifteen minute break, Katie thought her feet were going to drop off, but there was no time to rest. The bell in the little kitchen was dinging furiously and she had to start taking the trays of food to the right tables. Each tray had a sheet of paper with a number written on it – the table it needed to go to. The first tray she picked up was for table 2. What was wrong with number 1 she wondered. More bell dings and Mikey and Shimma appeared from nowhere to help. She wouldn't even get the trays out in a quarter of an hour let alone while the food was still hot.

In a flurry of motion, the plates were out and most people were eating. With everybody happy, Katie saw an opportunity to take a much needed break herself. "Going for my break," she yelled across the bar and legged it upstairs to the break room before anyone could haul her back for more jobs.

The breakroom was a small room – maybe twice the size of her bedroom – with a few seats and a low table, a kitchen area with kettle, mini fridge and microwave, and a row of lockers for the staff. Katie was the only one who hadn't decorated hers in some way. The smiley face stickers were inside her locker, she was planning to form a large K with the little metallic circles, but they hadn't made it onto the outside yet. Well, now was as good a time as any. She got the stickers out and started peeling them off, using her other hand to flip through channels on the battered portable TV until she found a local news show.

"Some time early this morning, a fire broke out at a body art shop in downtown Northwood. The shop, Ink Exchange, is believed to be beyond repair." Nothing about how the fire started or that there were people inside. The report didn't even say that the police or fire brigade were investigating anything.

That's because they're not. It's up to you now, girl.

The inner voice was not a comforting one.

"In the wake of this blaze..." There was an accompanying image of the tattoo shop – burnt out and cavernous – but the buildings on either side of it looked almost untouched. There were some dirty marks and a few slipped tiles – nothing that couldn't be put right with a days' hard work. The fire service must have contained the fire in a hurry so it didn't... hold on. There hadn't been any sirens approaching when Katie had fled the scene, nor was there any evidence of emergency intervention on the TV pictures – no vanishing vehicles, no water marks on the ground.

"Katie!" a voice bellowed up the stairs. She grabbed a sandwich from the fridge and had it halfway stuffed down her throat by the time she even got to the door. Thinking so much had distracted her too much – she now had precisely seven and a half minutes to feed herself. "Katie! Boy says he knows you."

She squinted down at the dark-haired young man Skinhead was looking threatening next to. "Never seen him before in my life."

"Right then. Out!" he ordered.

"But-"

"Pay and behave or move on, boy."

Katie didn't wait to here the rest of the protests. Skinhead had a way of winning arguments. She glanced at the ticking wall clock. Six and three quarter minutes. This was going to be the quickest lunch in the history of lunches.

Six minutes and counting.

The door creaked open and Shimma strode in. "Scrub boy's back."

"I know."

"Wants to see you."

"I know."

"You want to see him?"

"Not really. Think I have to though."

"Um-kay." He stuck his head back out and fetched a dark-haired boy into the room. "Yo, boy toy. You're in luck."

Katie curled her legs under her on one of the chairs and concentrated on the rest of the lunch she had put in the fridge. Shimma turned the kettle on and emptied a packet of soup granules into a mug. It was clear that he had no intention of leaving the two of them alone in the room, probably mindful of the chaos the pair had (separately) caused on their first visit to the club, although he pretended not to be paying any attention. Leo sat down two seats away from her and dumped a handful of papers on the seat between them.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too, bitch."

"Leo, this is my work, my job. This is where I leave personal shit at the door."

"Yeah, good plan, now if you could just tell _it_ to stop there." And without even waiting for Katie to finish the bite she was eating, Leo stuck a colour photo under her nose so horrific it nearly made her gag. It was blocky and blown up to A4 size, cheaply printed on copier paper, but it was an unmistakably real image. Nobody would want to doctor something this disgusting. "Took it on my phone. This is what we found."

No more explanation needed. The whiplashes that stripped half the skin from a back, that left clothes in pretty little ruins, and the blood – oh God, the blood – were recognisable. This was Mademoiselle Romani. It seemed worse, somehow, viewing the injuries with the distance of time and a camera lens. Worse because Katie was darkly attracted to this bodily devastation. And she was trying to be ashamed of it but the shame kept slipping through her fingers. _Stop staring. Stop enjoying it._

Then another voice joined in. One she knew not to listen to but it was getting louder with each passing hour. _Look. Remember. Lose yourself in blood and pain and glory and there's no blame on you. You didn't do it. You were just there._ Just standing there. Watching and waiting, just reacting to things... getting a little old.

"And then I Photoshopped the blood out of this one. Notice anything?"

Katie took the other sheet he was holding out to her. It was the same shot only most of the blood had been erased from this scene, leaving slashes and curved cuts that drove deep into the flesh – much deeper than she had noticed – and they seemed deliberate and sadistic. "Other than these were made by a raving psychopath? No. Should I?"

"Think."

Something about them seemed familiar but... "Nothing." But the marks stirred up good feelings inside her – ones that made her stomach flip and her heart double in speed.

"Okay, we'll come back to that." Leo stole a couple of biscuits from the open packet on the table, then sat back with a frown. "The fire. Who knew you were going there this morning?"

"Nobody. Nobody but you three. And that was only because you were there."

"You didn't mention it to anyone else?"

"You mean Jack." If Leo and Jack didn't get over this casual mistrust soon... every time something went wrong, Leo would instantly jump on the other boy and ream him out. "He can't be your scapegoat forever, Leo. You might not like him but he's a good guy. And I'm sure the feeling's mutual anyway. I mean, you're not exactly Mr Healthy Attitude either."

The criticism went right over his head. "You're sure you didn't tell him anything?"

"I didn't even think about him."

"Okay. I believe you. No way would he have let you go if he knew anyway." He shrugged. Katie glanced at the clock again. The last 60 seconds of her break were ticking away. "Anyone else even know about that place – know that you were there yesterday."

"Just Marcie. She met me down there but she wouldn't... she would never..."

"Sure about that?"

If there was one thing Northwood did for its residents it was to teach them, very quickly and very definitely, that people were never just what they looked like. There was always something more. Something that tore apart everything you had thought you knew. "Sure as I can be. She's got a kid. She'd never do anything to endanger him."

"No-one else? No-one even in passing?" He shoved another print-out towards her. Just a drawn face. "The picture you wanted."

"Henry?"

Leo sighed. This girl was hard work today. "No, it's the Honey Monster."

Katie resisted the urge to smack him and pickedup the old portrait. "I'm late for the rest of my shift. Two hours. Wait here," Katie instructed him. It did not look as though Leo was planning to move in any case. Shimma left his mug in the sink and followed her down the narrow stairs.

"What were you whispering about? Sounded intense."

"Trying to solve a murder."

"Fair enough."

The conversation ended as quickly as it had started.

The final hour and a half of her shift passed in a blur of drinks, snacks, voices and tips. She put half the tips in the jar that got shared out with their wages and the other half in the pocket of her top. This was more of a break than her actual break had been. It was too busy to stop and thinking of anything but the next mass of bodies coming her way. She kept one eye on her watch – it was one of the rules not to have clocks in the club – but Shimma had never said anything to her about watches. The minutes wound down and then Katie was handing her things off to Mikey. God, she was dreading going back to that break room.

"You're still here."

"Don't sound so excited." Leo was looking through a notebook he had brought. There was some writing on the first page but it was squashed and messy – illegible. "Thought of anything?"

She felt her mind race back to their earlier discussion and her mind filled with sick photographs of Mademoiselle Romani. "It... I don't want to say."

He just stared at her with those crushing eyes, the blue of deep space.

"I like those pictures, okay! They make me feel sick to my stomach and I hate myself for feeling this way but they make me feel good." She finished her confession in a whisper. It was the darkness trying to turn her whole soul black doing this. Had to be.

"What?"

"I told you. I can't fight this dark thing any more. It's stronger than me."

Katie walked over to her locker and saw a green note stuck to it. The note just had the words USEIT written on it in block capitals. "Notes? I'm standing right here." She ripped it off, checked the other side for any more words – none – then balled it up and threw it at his head.

"Wasn't me."

"Use it. Use it. Use what?"

"Okay, think on this, yeah. These marks are in precisely the same pattern as the scars on Jacks back."

That was why they had looked familiar. She remembered how she had made Jack tremble and shiver when she had traced those scars with her lips a few weeks ago. The memory made Katie shiver herself. It had been the last time either of them had let themselves get lost in the joy of being together. They'd been hyped up on hormones and adrenalin. Since then, physical contact had been limited to the kind of hugs friends give each other and the odd night spent wrapped in each others arms – fully clothed so they didn't get carried away. Not that their relationship was cooling down – if anything, they were getting more involved with each other, falling harder and harder in love, each time they met – they were just careful, trying to find ways to be close without putting anyone in danger.

You're about to die. You're really bothered about danger now?

Yes. She was.

She couldn't quite explain why she was worried about the consequences of kissing Jack again but she was.

"Hey. Real world." Leo snapped his fingers in front of her face to bring her out of her thoughts. He was suddenly standing right in front of Katie and she found herself fixing on those dark blue pools, wanting to get lost in them again.

Nothing happened.

Maybe it was because her ultravision had died out with the fire that morning. She knew instantly that her senses were the problem. No matter how hard she looked or listened, Katie could not pick up any energy trails from anything in this room. Last night, the colours and sounds of everything in the world had been crashing through her skull, assaulting her five senses and more that she had never even imagined, brought on once more by the sharp sting in her hand. And now, there was no vision of colours. The room was simply furniture and carpet and windows – nothing more, nothing less. Nothing worked the way Katie wanted it to. There was a blur. Katie smacked her aching wrist into one of the lockers almost hard enough to dent, hoping that the blast of white-hot agony would shock the ultravision back into place.

Nothing happened.

There was a bone-shattering jolt of pain that brought tears to her eyes and set her teeth on edge. Nothing more. As she tried it hopelessly again and again, knowing she was doing little more than heightening the risk of a re-break, and swallowing back screams that escaped as breathless sobs of absolute anguish, Katie thought of a little boy. Cold and dirty and trapped in a bubble. This pain was worth it if she could get back to him.

Leo caught hold of her wrist just above the strapping. "Stop this, you idiot! You're just hurting yourself."

"Me?" Incredible. "Take a look at yourself."

She tried to pull away from him but Leo kept scrambling for a better grip and somehow he finished up with his lips on hers. And Katie wasn't trying to get away. This was the moment he had been trying to convince himself he didn't want but now it was here Leo didn't want it to end.

Christ, this shouldn't be happening.

The reasons Katie wasn't trying to escape from this embrace were two-fold.

First, she hadn't had such pure and raw passion next to her skin in a long time. Not like this. Since she and Jack had kissed when they were caught in the End Place (where normal rules didn't apply) and they had set the world alight, a kiss was all Katie had been craving. Every inch of her cried out with need. A warm body, flesh and blood, and for now it was _hers._ She had to hold on to this moment, make it last, because there was no way of knowing when it might happen again. Katie let Leo press her up against the lockers and surrendered to him.

The second reason was that she had found herself dragged straight through a path of golden lightning strikes and swirls of rainbow colours, until she could see a boy trapped inside a transparent ball. As thin as glass but utterly unbreakable. She reached a hand out to him and an invisible hand towed her through more colours and vapour streams she guessed were memories and regrets. And then she was stood outside the bubble, watching a young boy toss and turn in his fitful sleep. She sank to her knees and watched for a few minutes more. Everything around her seemed to freeze in place, looking in that direction. It felt like the world was holding its breath. _I wonder what for._ Katie laid a hand on the cool surface of the ball and the boy awoke at the same moment.

"Hi."

"You came back," the little boy – she realised, all a once, that the boy was the child Leo had once been, or at least his own image of that child – said with something like awe in his voice.

"I promised I would."

"He promised to come back too. He said that he would let me out one day, that I could play again."

"But he didn't."

Little Leo shook his head violently, his dark curls flying all around his head. "I wasn't bad. Least, I never meant to be. But he wouldn't listen."

"Are you talking about Leo?" A nod. "And you're Leo too?" Another nod. "Do you remember why he shut you away? Did something happen?"

He put a finger to his lips. "Sssh!"

Doesn't want to talk about it. Or can't. Katie thought fast. She wanted to keep the conversation going with little Leo. He needed a friend – his tiny face had lit up when he had seen her on waking. "It must be boring for you. No toys to play with or books to read. Not even some pens to draw with."

"Sometimes. But you're here now and you're my friend. Aren't you?"

"Of course I am."

"I get lonely sometimes. I never ask for games and things though."

"Why not?"

"I used to. Just at first. When Leo used to look like me. But then he went to that big cross place and took away all the fun."

"No, he never laughs either. Not properly," Katie said, quietly and to herself.

"Why did you come here? Are you going to take me away?" Far from being excited at the prospect, Leo looked terrified and pressed himself tightly to the wall of his bubble. There was a word for this... Institutionalised. This transparent prison was the only home he had known for many years – anything that might lie beyond it was unknown and threatening.

"I have to do some things first to make it safe. One day, I'll come back for you. That's a promise, Leo."

He nodded, crumpling back into the curled up position he had been sleeping in. "I'm tired now. You woke me up."

"Oh. I didn't mean to."

"S'okay," he mumbled, a thumb working its' way up to his mouth. The habit made him look even younger. "Nice to have a friend. No-one else likes me."

"I'm sure they do."

"No. I don't always like me either. The big me."

"Does he like you?"

"I told you, no! He blames me for the bad thing. Should have been there, should have been better, should have tried harder. But I didn't and now I don't deserve good things. I said sorry! I said sorry!"

"Sorry for what, Leo? Sorry for what?"

"Sssh."

His dark blue eyes fluttered closed and his breathing deepened, evened out. It was almost painful not to be able to put her hand out and touch the boy, just to comfort a sleeping child who probably never known a human touch in the seven or eight years that divided the young and old versions of Leo. Katie settled for putting her hand on the bubble as close to his curly mop as possible. He didn't wake up.

What could she do to help this boy? _You're already doing something._ Katie glanced down and saw little Leo sleeping peacefully beneath her hands. it was a small improvement from the restless slumber he had been trapped within just minutes earlier. A change that might not mean anything but it was progress and it was enough. The half-life was better for the kid, even if it was only the banishment of nightmares.

At the word, something black and evil uncoiled inside Katie – she felt it move and wanted to be sick – _it was there all along, watching, waiting, now it's going to take me away_ – and she clenched her fists. If she slowed her own breathing, calmed every- too late. The darkness was trying to fight its way out through her abdomen.

Let's go see where my handiwork ended up?

It was not her own voice. This one was broken glass and fingernails on blackboards. It was agony and ecstasy and everything in between. It was horrible. And Katie silently begged it to continue speaking. But this voice – this not-hers voice only laughed-

Shattered rainbows

  * and propelled her past colours and lightning strikes. Purity in visible form.

Beauty.

In the next instant, Katie came to her senses as a slippery, purple black leech grew another inch and settled back into a contented slumber, sated and happy to know its host was in turmoil and the world would be burning when it emerged, fully grown and truly evil. She found herself staring into a dying galaxy. Leo. His fingers were caressing the exposed skin between her work tee and her jeans. And the warm touch of a man's hands on her bare skin was so good it made her shiver.

He mistook this tremor for a shudder and tried to move away.

She knew what he was thinking, pulled him close and breathed a "no" against his lips. The closeness of another human couldn't be ripped away so quickly – she couldn't stand that. After the passionate but oddly cool moments she had spent being close to a Shade, the heat of another human body was exactly what she needed.

But that body was Leo.

Leo!

Alarm bells rang from the roots of her hairs to the tips of her aching toes. She pushed him away, grateful he didn't put up a fight and refused to look him in his dying blue eyes. What would happen if she did that, what would happen if she let herself get sucked back into them? Nothing good, that was for sure.

Nothing Katie wanted.

Nothing Katie _should_ want.

She rescued her bag and jacket from her locker and escaped from the room, face burning. In one morning her problems had gone from small but significant to life-changing and enormous. And, as she raced for home, they were right behind her and gaining ground.

# Chapter nine

Lainy was waiting with open arms when Katie got home. She only just remembered to swing the back door shut behind her before she sank into their soft and safe folds. It was a poor substitute for hugging Mom or Dad but Lainy was the closest thing to a mother she had in this place and, now that the world was ending, Katie was realising that she needed her mom as much as ever. Maybe more. They stood in the middle of the kitchen, locked in each other's arms. Katie broke down and let tears drown her and her shoulders shake unstifled. She felt hands stroke gently through her brown hair and murmur unintelligible words into her heads. She didn't know what these sounds were, if they were even real words, but they did their job and calmed her fit long enough to think one clear thought.

You would have made a fantastic mom.

The gates opened once more and Katie wrapped herself in the hug once more. It was safe in here. Lainy was her protector, her confidante, she was a mommy bear. She would make this okay again.

"Why did you go in to work, sweetie? I'm sure he would have understood if you took the day off."

_Because I needed some normality in my life for a few hours and that place is the most normal thing I've got._ She shrugged instead.

"The girls told me what happened."

"They did? They know I kissed Leo?"

The shock was so unexpected it nearly made Lainy gag on her tea. "What? I thought you just said..."

Katie nodded and nearly cried again, burying her head in her hands. Tears weren't getting them anywhere but the mistake she had made was the only thing on her mind right now.

"Sweetie..."

"It was a huge mistake and if I could just take it back, I would. I needed to do something and I hurt myself and then – he was just there. It all went bad from then on." If she didn't get all this out, she never would. Although it made her sing with pride that she had been willing to do something so – so extreme – for the bigger purpose, Katie also knew that keeping it all inside would destroy her. "it was just a kiss. Kisses can mean anything right? Thank you. Goodbye."

"Did that mean any of those things?"

"I don't think it meant anything. Like I said, he was right in my face and it – it was an accident."

"Something else happened." Lainy put her mug down and caught Katie's chin in her hand, tilting her face closer. "Your pupils are dilated."

"Will Jack believe that if I tell him? Do you think he will forgive me?"

Honey, I don't think Jack'll forgive anyone ever again.

"Jack is the least of your worries right now."

Katie tried to pull free of those inspecting eyes, razor sharp, but Lainy didn't release her.

"You're 16. You're still a kid, Katie, and you have the rest of your life to worry about boys. Which ones to love. Which ones to hate. And believe me, getting those two mixed up is half the fun."

"Adam wasn't the only one? I thought you two were soul mates."

"We are. But we went to college in different towns. I wasn't one to wait around."

"What about him?"

"Never asked but... probably. Neither of us knew if we'd see each other again when we first broke up so I guess we both tried to find somebody to love that much. No other guy meant as much to me as Adam – no-one ever will."

"Why are you two in so much trouble now? It's like, you love each other and I can see it but I can also see you trying as well."

"Love isn't easy. It should be but it isn't. You do the wrong things at times. But, if he loves you, he'll forgive you."

Katie felt all turned around. This conversation had done a 180 and become about her again. When had that happened?

"So," Lainy leaned in as though the two of them were sharing a secret. "What was it like?"

_Amazing sickening electric wrong shocking beautiful terrible raw magical fantastic disgusting..._ the adjectives kept trying to trip off her tongue but Katie swallowed them back and sent out a silent message, not knowing if anyone was there to hear it. _I'm sorry. I'm so sorry._ Because, all in the same instant – under a scrutinous gaze – she knew that she had let everyone down. Mademoiselle Romani- her life was over because Katie hadn't saved her. Little Leo – still stuck in that bubble. Bernice – who had lost her husband and was mourning alone. Everyone. They all wanted things from her and Katie wasn't giving them out. It hurt but she knew she had her own battles to fight – Mademoiselle Romani had told her that and ot was a prediction coming frighteningly true already – and if she lost those...

...nothing else would matter.

Lainy gazed into bright brown eyes and took quick note of the burst blood vessels in the eyeball and the dark rings surrounding it. "Something's wrong. Tell me what it is." But she didn't need to be told when she laid her other hand on the wrist strap and Katie winced and jerked away. The room was already singing the songs of all the people who had lived and died here, whispering all the sights it had seen and promises it had heard. She did not need or want this fresh explosion of pain and colour and sound over-loading her senses. This was the very edge of crazy and even one more touch would send her hurtling over the precipice.

"Right, you're going to need to get that reset."

"No, it'll be fine."

"It looks like you've been battering a heavy bag with it. It might have broken again."

"Maybe. I don't..." She had forgotten the end of the sentence.

"You've been through it today. Everyone knows it. No-one expects any more."

That seemed similar to something Adam had said a few days ago. She should fight her way back to reality and pursue the question but the thought seemed very far away. She felt arms around her and let herself be led up to her room, drifting along on voices.

In no time at all, Katie was half lying on her bed, propped against her headboard. A hand was cupping a couple of tablets under her nose and holding a cup of water in the other. Without a word, without a question, Katie picked up the pills and downed them with water.

"You need to sleep. After your friend and then the fire – you might feel too wired so I gave you something to help."

"You – you drugged me?"

"They're fast acting. You'll thank me in the morning."

"You drugged..." And again, the rest of the sentence fell away. "But, why?"

"It's for the best."

"No!" Katie shouted, weakly. It was too late. The room was spinning. "They come when I'm asleep. They'll get me if I got to sleep."

"Who will?"

"The monsters. They always come when I sleep."

"Monsters?"

"They chase me. I run and run but they're always right behind me. Don't let them... get me...don't let...

"I know, darling, I know."

"You need... stop... before..."

Lainy just looked down and said something that might have been, "They're only dreams, honey." Sounds had all but given out to the velvet dark of enforced sleep. The last thing Katie saw as her eyes closed was a crystal with two tarot cards stood against her laptop. Long ago words swam into her head, demanding to be spoken, sang, breathed.

"One will come. One will destroy you. One will obliterate everything you know and love."

I'm falling!

It felt like forever. Long enough to put her panicked thoughts into a sentence. A two word sentence but she was falling to her death so – impressive. It was forever and an instant. Finally, the right neurons connected and the instruction to scream blasted through her body. The first notes were out when a hand thrust out of the windows she was falling – no, floating – past. Katie grabbed it with every bit of strength this exhausted body had left. Her body dangled from the one-armed grip. She swung herself close to the wall and looked up, hoping to see the face of her momentary saviour. For some reason, Katie was more tired than running around should have made her; her body felt different in some way; achey and desperate for rest. That wasn't going to happen.

The rough surface of the building she was dangling from scraped her knees and thighs. Her hospital gown was pulling further apart, riding somewhere just below her backside but Katie didn't even care if anybody should happen to be standing below. Below might be three feet away or a mile away. Not falling that far was way more important than modesty. Just cling on to this arm stretched out. Don't let go. Stay close to the wall. Find some grip within the pebbled wall to generate friction. There was no ridge large enough to hold. Her boots scrabble blindly against the wall, scraping and scuffing. No luck. Her body weight was starting to turn from a pendulum she could use to get a helpful movement going into a dead load that was arguing to drag her down. To still her movements and take her down. That wasn't going to happen either.

With her fear of falling as strong as it had ever been, Katie twisted herself around, nearly wrenching her arm from its socket, and dug the toes of her boots into the hard rock. It bit into her knees. Trickles of blood slid down her legs. The sting was a minor concern – a distant thing. "Oh God, help. Get me up!" No-one spoke back. She hadn't expected them to. She also had not expected this supernaturally strong arm to begin lifting her out of this grey nothing. But it did. And Katie was suddenly afraid once more. Whatever awaited her through the window had to be better than hanging here, one slip from falling. "Please! Quickly, I'm losing my grip." With one hand holding the one thrust out to her and her feet pushing up with every tiny jutting pebble she found, Katie threw her other hand up to the window sill and found that she had to reach in quite a way to get a grip. Between everything, pulling herself out of the grey and back inside was almost easy. If breathless, sweating and grunting with strain could ever be easy. Half in and half out of the glassless window – bent over the sill at the waist and climbing in – she allowed herself a second to breathe. One second to fill her lungs with sweet oxygen. And something else... something cloying and thick.

The stink of decay.

" _Shit!"_

The arm she was holding was not attached to a body. It looked as though it had been ripped clean off at the shoulder. Recently too. Torn tendons and muscles; tattered skin, paper-thin and pale; slow flowing blood, dark and dead.

Too late Katie threw it to the floor. A million bodies gaped at her, moaning, reaching, then fell in a pile onto the disembodied arm.

It was just a shame Katie was standing behind it. She danced back a few steps. One hand grabbed for her foot. She tried to jerk free and stamped on the hand with her other foot. It exploded beneath her sole in a glorious mess of flesh and bone.

The now one-handed zombie thing stared at the stump in wonder – a short, slender creature (Jaye?) – then grunted into the writhing mass around her. It? It didn't seem especially bothered by the sudden loss of a hand. It looked angry. As one, the mass of zombies picked themselves up and started to move towards Katie.

You stopped running. You never stop running.

I didn't mean to. I'm just so tired.

You never stop running.

I've been running forever. There's no way out of this place.

You never stop.

Show me a way out and I'll go to it.

Who was she talking to? Who was talking to her?

Running. That was what she did. That was what she was going to do. It was a good plan as they went. But yawning mouths in faces that were just smudges circled her and were reaching for her, edging forward in irregular steps and shuffles. She glanced from one to the other, all the way round, until she lost count of how many there were and which ones she had already seen. They all blurred into one sinister threat. A faceless, nameless, breathing parasite trying to get hold of her.

Katie watched as the one handed one swung its' arm towards her. She wanted to laugh a the gesture – full of menace and so impotent. One of the taller creatures had picked up the fallen arm and was slapping the shoulder end at his own shoulder socket. It already had both of its arms but it didn't seem to stop the zombie from wanting a third. Katie stared, fixated on this gruesome display of complete stupidity. And then one of them but a hand on her right shoulder from behind. She slapped her left hand over it, worked her fingers between the gaps and tried to push them back. There was a satisfying crack and the hand fell away. The grabby one fell back a step and held its' floppy hand up to its neighbour for inspection.. a grunt and a shrug. Another one came towards her, looking determined. Katie kicked out and felt a boot connect with a leg. Something cracked and the zombie sagged a little but kept advancing, uncaring. When it came into touching distance Katie planted both her hands on it's chest and pushed back as hard as she could. One blurred into motion at the edges of her peripheral vision. Not really seeing the threat, she threw one hand up to protect her face and then jerked her elbow out with enough force to disfigure the zombie for good. Coming one by one, these things were hardly a military operation in organised attack.

No sympathy for the dead, _she thought but didn't really believe her own words. She did have some pity for the dead, the ones who did not deserve to lose their lives, but were these things even dead? They moved like they were alive. They made sounds. That was the very essence of life. Katie blinked and heard a quick rustling sound in the millisecond her eyes were closed. She opened them. No twisted visage stared back at her. Where-? Something solid and heavy connected with one of her legs. It disappeared from beneath her and Katie fell to her knees, bones jarring painfully into her kneecaps and further up into her hips. She screamed – didn't want to, couldn't help it. Another foot or fist thumped into her back and she went down hard. Face pressed to the cold tiles. Innumerable pale creatures hunkered down all around Katie and she could swear they were smiling at her. They were on the ground all around her and_ smiling. _All these twisted versions of people she knew, all of them had been chasing her, trying to reach her and all she had done was try to get away from them. But they did not mean her harm. Her friends loved her. They were trying to help her. Was it darker in here? The grey outside had deepened into almost black._

Body after body lumbered over to Katie, bent to stroke her face with the backs of cold, rough fingers then, with an unlikely grace, bent to kiss either her stomach or her forehead before lying down next to her until each of them was lying with some part of their body touching Katie. She glanced at the dark window, tensed to spring up and run. Then she listened to her body slowly ticking over like an engine after 250 miles of motorway, chugging along on fumes and momentum.

Tinny music was pouring from somewhere. Katie dragged her eyes open and searched for the source of the noise. Her head was pounding and her limbs felt heavy, full of lactic acid that she couldn't have built while she had been... asleep. No no no no! She didn't want to be asleep. But the open curtains showed it was getting late. Hey eyelids were dragging themselves down. Everything in her campaigned for sleep.

And yet, there was still music. She had to find it. Had to turn it off before anything else. Her eyes fell on the slim white mobile by her mirror. It was singing to her. It was some tune she vaguely recognised as one of her favourite songs – she recalled installing ringtone software on her laptop and transferring the song over but she couldn't for the life of her remember the band or title. And it didn't even bear that much resemblance to it anyway – underlaid with the haunting melodies of destruction and innocence and beauty within another persons evil. Katie gave herself a few moments to listen to it, taking her sweet time to go over and answer. It was a withheld number but she clicked ANSWER anyway. If this was another cold caller from an insurance scam she was going epic on them! A click as the call connected and a mechanical but strangely familiar female voice spoke.

"Call for Kathleen Cartwright. Will you accept the charges?"

"Uh... I suppose." Accepting charges on a mobile phone could cost a bomb, but she could always hang up if somebody was just looking for a free chat. Who would reverse charges on a mobile phone didn't present itself as a question.

"Please hold." A few seconds of Greensleeves and then the voice came back. "You'll be connected now."

Another click and a rush of voices crowded the air waves.

"Don't worry. I gave her Zopiclone. She'll be out for hours yet."

"I just don't know what to do, Lainy. I mean, she's running herself ragged, thinking she's responsible for every little thing that goes wrong."

"It's not your fault. She could have come to us a long time ago."

"Yeah. I just... I feel as though I'm betraying her somehow. Going behind her back and telling you guys."

"And all three of you knew?" A pause but the downcast looks and nods might as well have been in the room with Katie. "Okay. Well, we can do something to help now."

"What, though?"

"I'm not sure yet." Adam joined in the talk. "But we can't let her carry on. We all know she's a special kid but I still think this is too much."

"Erm, guys... I don't know if this is the right time but I might have played a part in this mess." Dina. What could she possibly have to do with anything apart from being that calm, logical voice when her emotions got out of control? Dina had saved he arse a few times too. "The night I slipped into a coma, I saw Katie fighting with this guy on the wasteground. No, I'm not crazy, I was there – sort of on my way to the End Place. Anyway, I knew that he was about to kill her. Jack was out for the count and couldn't help. And I knew, just knew somehow, that if I didn't do something, she wouldn't survive the night."

"What did you do?" It wasn't accusing or disapproving – just a neutral question. That neutralness made Katie feel terrible even though she wasn't on the receiving end.

"I straddled the gap between the spirits and the living. I took the power of the dead and sent it all into Katie."

"'Scuse me? For the still livin', never gonna be no Shade, stayin' right here humans?"

"Straddling is what we call it when somebody stands right on the life line, touching both worlds."

"Okay." Leo didn't sound like he thought it was okay. He had another problem. Sucked to be him.

"But sweetie. All the ghosts on the wasteland. They're not Shades like me or Jaye. They're the ones who never made it. Full of darkness. Some good but mostly darkness."

"I know that now. Scratch that I knew it then. But I was desperate because she was so young and nice and I couldn't let her die. Not like 'welcome to Northwood. Rest in peace.' It was the only thing I could think of."

"And it did work."

"But she's had that darkness growing inside her ever since. I looked and it's there and it's getting restless."

Somebody groaned.

"But that was what? Six weeks ago, or so? It should have taken her over by now."

"She's been fighting it. She told us. Now, she's afraid it'll get out and put somebody in danger."

"Oh, like the poor kid hasn't got enough on her plate."

"Bitch likes to fight. Telling ya."

"Not helping Leo. I know what we need to do." _What, Adam? What am I meant to do now?_ "She's strong – gifted – but she is a child and we can't let this carry on. Lainy?"

"Agreed. We're glad you told us now before it's too late. Two people have died, one's missing, all of you nearly joined them, there's a killer on the loose, her dreams are trying to get her – however that works – and who knows what else she hasn't told us. She's too young to deal with that. We'll do whatever we can."

"She's too young to know the secrets of the town."

"We understood it was a risk to take her in."

"There are people. People who can strip that knowledge from her head. We can deal with these problems and she won't know a thing."

"I mean it, girl won't give up without a fight."

Katie shut off her phone and turned it off completely. For the next few hours she did not want anyone to be able to contact her. Not if something as casual as a phone call could be that painful. The backs of her eyes prickled with tears that felt like chips of ice. Feet skipped up the stairs and Katie leapt back into bed, screwing her eyes shut in case anyone came in and tried to speak to her. It probably wouldn't fool anyone into thinking she was asleep but it made her feel better. The pretence was good practice for drama class. It counted right? Having your eyes closed was still acting. A pair of heavy platform shoes thundered up the stairs and followed the other set into the big bedroom. The worry was far from over though. Katie took a calming few breaths then looked inside. The ball of energy was purple-black and slippery-looking, but there was enough. She hoped.

Jack. I'm not asking this time. If you're there, if you still love me, you will come and be with me. Just hold me. Answer me, at least. Jack.

But there was nothing. Jack could make the whole world makes sense with that strange little smile of his. The smile that was broken by the thin scar of a split lip that was received 150 odd years ago. The smile that only came out when they were together and he allowed himself to forget all the other problems they faced. It was rare, that smile, but that only made it even more special when it shone. She needed that right now – tried to imagine it but it made no difference. A picture might say a thousand words but they were still ink and paper, fragile, just waiting to be ripped to shreds. A person could be battered, broken, bled to death, and that smile would always be the same. She tried once more – this time pouring emotion into every word.

I love you, Jack. Maybe I took too long to work that out but I know now and I know this is real. Please come back to me. I need you so much. I wish I could tell you what's been happening lately so you can stroke my hair back and tell me I'm safe now. I wish I could touch you and feel that spark between us because we know it's wrong. I want you by my side to pull me back when I go too far. I want you to tell me you love me too.

Seconds turned into minutes. The silence, the stillness, was crushing. This was dumb. She was waiting on a boy she knew wasn't coming back. Wasting more time on a lost love – wallowing in self-pity and loss – was getting nothing done. It was just that... it all seemed _easier_ when Jack was holding her hand. _Suck it up, kid. Things to do, people to end._

What? No. No ending anyone.

Not even if you have to?

Hadn't she killed enough people already because she had to?

Did you really kill them though? Weren't they already dead to begin with? Ca one kill a corpse?

_Shut up,_ Katie instructed her brain. _They were both out for m-_

So it was kill or be killed. You made the choice. Was it easy?

They wanted me dead. Yes, I sent them both back to where-ever they came from and I did some unforgivable things first.

An accusing silence followed. She let her body do its own thing for a few minutes, packing her backpack for the morning and using the bathroom. Mr Brain was whirring away, dwelling on a question the dark part of her had raised. _Was it easy?_ Well... yes. When some-one was threatening her life, she did not tend to put theirs first. So no, there had been no torturous moral struggle over it. If there had been another choice in front of Katie, she surely would have taken it; but there had been none. _Was it easy?_ The question came back round.

She knocked on the door to the large bedroom and walked straight in, sitting on the nearest bed. "I need to know something." This was no time for manners or small talk.

Dina and Jaye looked at each other, nodded and Dina got up to shut the door. "Before you say anything, babe, we want you to know we're really sorry. I mean, you're so young and if we can't handle it, we can't expect you to."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"We had to tell Adam and Lainy what you know. It didn't seem like we had another choice."

"But they said they'd help take care of everything."

_Including me!_ The part about stripping away everything she knew clanged around her head. "You did what?"

"I'm sorry. Do you hate us now?"

Honesty wasn't always the best policy. But sometimes it was the only one. Her mind was on a complete strike from lies – they were too much work to keep going. "Well... yes. I feel like killing each and every one of you to be honest but that's beside the point. Jaye?"

She turned to face the other girl, worry for her own safety creasing her pixie face. "Yeah?"

"You're a Shade. I know you can heal from pretty much anything that happens to your body. You know, change from an imperfect body with scars and bruises and stuff."

"Well, only superficial cuts. If it goes deeper than-"

"Cool. So, is it possible, do you think, for a Shade to change their entire appearance?"

"Nothing I can do but..."

"But. I like buts."

"I don't think you meant to say that."

"D!"

"I suppose the darker ones might be able to. You know, like the ones that infected you."

"Why not you?"

"Because I'm light. I'm rooted in this world and it would confuse people if I kept changing I look. The darker ones don't have that problem. I guess they can look however they want."

"Interesting. Can dark Shades pull on energy and look like a normal guy?"

"Sure. Jack's dark."

"He told me he was a bit of both."

"It's the yin yang thing," Dina explained. "Nothing can exist without a tiny bit of the other side."

"Why all the questions, babe? It's a bit late for the third degree." As if to prove the point, Jaye yawned. It had been a long day for her too. "You should totally get some shut-eye."

"I will. I was just curious. These aren't the kind of questions you can ask Google."

"True. I tried typing Shades into a search – the obligatory porn, seriously every single word is a euphemism to these people, and then Dulux colour charts. Not useful."

"Unless you were an exhibitionist with a passion for DIY."

"That sounds likely," Katie snorted. The older pair just curled their lips and shrugged like it was as possible as anything else. If you could believe in ghosts that walked and talked like anyone else, anything _was_ possible. She stretched up, grimacing briefly as her wrist loosed fresh bolts of pain into her body – _got to get something done with that_ – yawned theatrically and muttered her goodnights. There was no time just yet to be running off and patching herself up. There was a plan to come up with. All the pieces of the puzzle were there, she thought, it was just a matter of figuring out how they fit together. And Leo sitting on the edge of her bed flipping her two tarot cards into each other was not a puzzle piece she needed – at least, not in this puzzle. Katie stopped just inside the door. "Leave."

"We need to talk."

"No. We need to never talk again. Bad things happen when we talk."

"You weren't exactly saying no."

"You try saying no with some-one else's tongues down your throat."

"You never told me why you got these." Leo held up the two cards. JUSTICE and the HIGH PRIESTESS.

"Apparently they represent what I am and what I will be. Or something."

"How's that work?"

She shrugged, eyeing the bed behind him. Maybe it was the long and stressful day, maybe it was the remnants of the sleeping tablets still making their way through her system, but Katie felt her eyelids trying to meet in the middle. "It's a psychic thing. Don't understand a word of it. Best I can figure... justice is all backwards here. Nobody gets what they deserve."

"So, why do you have it?"

"Quick demonstration. Then you're out." Katie went over to her computer and grabbed up the tiny chip of quartz Mademoiselle Romani had pressed into her hand. On the bed, she laid out the two cards as they had been dealt out – JUSTICE upside down with the HIGH PREISTESS next to it but the right way up. Then she placed the crystal over the heart of the woman on the second card. "Why do you keep trying to help me?" She tried to make it sound casual. It didn't work as well as it had it her mind.

"'Cos you need it."

And that was true enough. "What if I don't want your help?"

"Still here when you change your mind."

"Right, this is how they came out. There's justice around me but it's all upside down and fucked up."

"And this bitch here?"

"What did she ever do to deserve your insults?" But it didn't matter. He didn't mean it when he called any of them nasty names – she was learning that. "I've been doing some reading and she's got bags of power. She's kind of the queen of all the events in the world. She makes things happen."

"What's that got to do with you? I mean, I get the power stuff and everything, but not you."

"Thanks for having confidence in me, Pointer."

"That's not how I meant it. And you know it."

He was right. She _did_ know. That Leo had any faith in her was something of a miracle, particularly when you considered how often he'd had to come running to her rescue. She was good to fool around with, maybe have a thing with, that was it. Good for nothing more important than the passing pleasure of a stolen kiss before she was put underground. She would disintegrate, become the dirt, be long gone before anyone missed her.

"... person I know," Leo was saying and Katie realised she had missed everything he had said. It was nothing good, she was sure.

"I told you about the cards. I kept my side of the deal. Now you keep yours." Katie jerked her head at the door. "Wait!" she called as he got up. Leo paused and turned to her. Dark blue eyes sparkled and begged to draw her in, to rip the breath from her lungs and blast her into heaven. She had to stop her own feet from bouncing up on their own and sprinting into those promises. This had been a bad idea. Letting him stay in her room was a mistake. Engaging him in conversation was a mistake. Kissing him had been... and she didn't regret a single one of them.

"What?"

"Us two, Dina and Jaye. Four o'clock at the track tomorrow. Tell no-one else."

"This another of your plans to get us all killed?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I won't wear church clothes then." He had special clothes for going to church in?

"Oh, the photos you showed me earlier – you have them?"

Leo held up a finger and disappeared for a minute. Something fell to the floor in the next room, there was a swear word or two, some rustling and rooting. Finally an "aha!" He returned with a few folded sheets of paper which he dropped on the bed. "Hope you know what you're doing bitch."

# Chapter ten

Four o'clock could not come soon enough. Classes had gone stupidly slowly and insanely quickly at the same time. The words her teachers were saying to her went in one ear and came straight out the other side. Nothing sank in. Linear equations were pointless. Improper sentence structures in French were meaningless. When were those things ever going to be an important part of her life here? if there were tests on any of these things, Katie was going to fail. Her mind was on more important matters today – not that certain people believed anything in the world could matter more than schoolwork. Still, her grades had been really good so far so a few bare passes one day wouldn't drag the average into scholarship-losing territory. Fingers crossed. Katie had hidden notes and papers in every textbook she had used, scribbling things down while pretending to take notes. When the bell had rung out at three and students had swarmed out of the classroom, trying to get out before the crush, Katie spent a few extra minutes packing her things away and then joined the riot. This was where it was all going to start.

She turned against the tide and started making her way to the back of the main building, towards the language labs and the back door. There were slightly less people down here. Only three of the five classes down here finished this early. She glanced down at her arm. Lainy had made her promise to get it X-rayed today and had strapped it up extra tight for the day. Katie had no intention of going to see Dr de Rossa today or at all. The immediate destination was the running track. Half an hour or so of circuits would clear her head. An older girl was hurrying down the corridor and waving at a boy on the corner, hardly looking where she was going. So, she obviously crashed into Katie, sending all her folders spinning to the floor and winding her. Bolts of agony flashed along her arm and the corridor started swaying horribly. Katie blinked and sucked in her breath.

"Watch where you're going, fresh meat."

_Use it._ It made even more sense now that she was trying herself out. _Harness that darkness. You know you can._ Katie dropped to the floor and started scrabbling for her papers, not bothering to put them in their folders. "You watch it."

"Excuse me, meat?"

"I just think you should set us newbies a good example by not getting in my way." She kept her voice low and even but there was no ignoring the razor hardness in it. "Wouldn't that be nice?"

"You're making a mistake here. See, I'm in my last year here."

"Then you should know better."

The older girl put her kitten-heeled foot on the page of notes Katie was touching and pivoted until her heel tore through. "This is our part of campus. The real students. You kids have all the front rooms. You know, the easy to find rooms."

Katie smiled to herself and glanced down the corridor. More faces had joined the boy down the hall, eagerly waiting for this to descend into violence. One of them was going to see exactly what she didn't want. Her brown eyes turned hard and icy. Her brain shut down pain signals and the world snapped into sudden clarity. "Be a good little ghost now."

"What?"

Katie stood straight, three or four inches taller than this older student and feeling nothing but equal. She pointed to herself and then at her opponent. "Fresh meat... dead meat. How does it feel knowing you should be deep in the ground with maggots eating out your eyeballs and your family always meaning to visit your grave but mysteriously always forgetting? You should really start thinking about that."

The other girl opened her mouth to speak but a pleasing choking sob squeezed out instead. She looked over her shoulder and grinned at the watching faces, certain that her own was harsh, all angles and lines, an expression twisted by darkness and hate, ready to take on the whole world if it was brave enough. Then she faked a lunge at the girl, her dark eyes, hands curled into fists, body held as poker stiff as Pinocchio terrifying the other girl into turning and running down the corridor, heels clicking nastily on the tiles. The group of students at the corner parted like the Red Sea to let her through. Once out of sight, Katie stared into the empty space and relaxed into these gentle waves of purple-black. It was so easy to let it all wash over her. It made her feel so good and powerful.

And now with her feet drumming a steady beat on the red asphalt, Katie let her mind drift – didn't need to think about this action, going round and round in endless ovals. The ideas had finally all come together last night as she tried to sleep (dreamlessly). Without a drug to blur the edges of the plan, potential problems were pushing themselves to the forefront and demanding to be considered. Not that all the obstacles in the world were going to stop her from this. All day long, any spare moments were given to this plan – writing each person's part in it on paper. It was genius, even if she did say so herself. Her phone chimed ten to four. Time to change and get everything ready.

"Right. Good." She was talking to herself. The first sign of madness. Looking down at her wrist strap and the pages that might wind up doing even more damage – inside and out – Katie had to wonder if that ship hadn't already sailed.

Jaye and Dina got to the track dead on four, heads bowed together and chattering away. Jaye gave Katie a funny look as she passed, challenging, but went to find a quiet spot to sit. A few minutes later Leo joined them in the top right corner of the seating area.

"We don't know why we're here," Dina told the group. "Leo just told us to be here."

"I've come up with a plan."

"But-"

"Look, we can still handle this. I mean we're strong, we're fearless, we've been in worse situations."

"I suppose we were all brought to Northwood for a reason."

"I died already. I got brought back."

"And why? To swim or teach swimming? Did you never think there might be anything else?"

"Honestly... no."

Katie looked around at her friends, remembering the warning that she couldn't trust them. They didn't look untrustworthy – just doubtful. "Dina, I got you out of that horrible End Place before you went over the edge. You said yourself you didn't mean to go so far. You must trust, then, that however hard this gets I won't let anything hurt you."

"I believe you'll do everything you can."

"Why do you look like you don't then?"

"What if everything isn't good enough?"

"Jaye, I've covered for you so many times. The bruises and breakages. I even came looking for you when I thought you'd gone missing looking for D. If i hadn't got that thing out She would still be controlling your body and hurting whoever took her fancy."

"I _do_ owe you for that."

"And you Leo." _I'm trying to save you right now._ "You have to help me. I know you won't thank me for it, but you've saved me so many times already. And other people. All your arsehole qualities aside, you're a good person. You can't stand by and watch me put myself in danger."

"Try me."

"Are you in?"

"Whatever. You gonna tell us this brilliant plan or what?"

"Basically... stand by and watch me put myself in danger." She put a sheet of much-folded paper on the bench in front of them. "That's Henry Lawson. Jack's father. He's hanging around here somewhere. We need to get him to trust us."

"Why?" asked Jaye. "He's nothing to do with us."

"Oh, I think I skipped a stage. I keep forgetting you haven't been in my brain all day." Katie flipped her notebook back a few pages. "He knows Jack loves me. Only Jack's been AWOL for a couple of days, you know, _up there_ business. So Henry has taken it upon himself to be my protector."

"Protector? You?"

"Yeah, I know, impossible right?"

"You're not exactly a do what you're told girl."

"You're more of a do what it takes girl."

"Anyway. I'm having bad dreams again. The kind that don't fade into memories when you wake up. The kind where you might not wake up at all."

"Oh shit."

"And when the monsters come for me next time, he'll come for me."

"You can't be sure of that. Dreams that may or may not hurt you aren't enough for a Shade to risk themselves for. Not if they're dark."

A handful of students were huddling from the wind in the seating area but nobody was close enough to hear them. Katie could hear all of the chatter in the stadium if she focused in. Every runner was followed by a stream of burning orange and sweat fell in glistening droplets. She could hear it all, see it all, even smell it if she wished to (she didn't). Everything was so real and she – Katie, childlike and innocent Katie – wasn't.

"That won't be the only danger. I'm going to let myself go dark."

"What?!" all three of them exclaimed.

"I can't keep it in any more. My control is slipping."

Jaye nodded, just the smallest movement. "I saw what happened in the corridor. Anything can set it off."

"And I don't want to fight it. Everything's a choice, a struggle between my head and my heart. I thought I could handle it all but I can't. I thought I was stronger than this but I'm not. And what the hell's the point if it's still going to win in the end?"

"The point is there's never a point. We just carry on because there's no other choice," said Dina. "You told me that."

"And me."

"Me too."

God, Katie had been too positive for her own good. Had these three invested in her empty inspirational words? "But I have a choice now... and I'm choosing that. I want my life to be easy for a little while. I'd like to have fun and freedom. I don't want fighting and decisions and responsibility."

She paused for a second, letting those words sink in. They were having the desired effect. Katie could almost feel her face setting into a blank mask; brittle and featureless as slate. This was the first sign that the darkness was stirring inside her, not quite ready to stage a complete take over but restless enough to make it's presence felt.

"I've made up my mind, guys. Once Henry sees me in so deep, he'll have no choice but to try to save me."

"But, babe, you don't have to put yourself through it just to chase the monsters away."

"Only dark Shades can get into dreams," Dina pointed out. _Thank you._ "Jack's whole bloodline is dark. Isn't that how it works in families?"

Jaye looked at Leo for support and found none. "I'm not happy about this."

"I'm not asking you to be happy." Katie heard her own voice as clear as crystal and as sharp as it too. This was how it felt to let your dark heart control your brain; firing neurons that had never been used before, sending mean signals to her face and making it form words she didn't mean to say, releasing euphoric hormones until they flooded her thoughts, uninhibited and wild. Allowing her sympathetic ear to be deafened by the desire to crush hopes and cast shadow on fragile optimism. She was selfish and hard-hearted, finally free of all these chains her youth had created. "I'm asking for you to help me. Embrace the darkness and win. Fight and lose. Those were my options."

Half an hour later, Jaye, Dina and Leo all went away clutching sheets of yellow paper from a legal pad with the plan written on it, and a solemn promise ringing in their ears. The four of them had sworn not to tell anyone else about this plan but to carry on their normal lives.

Which was a laughable concept in itself.

The plan, in short was to get Henry to care enough about Katie to risk his safety in saving her from her nightmares. When he saw how the darkness was weakening her, he would step in to fight the monsters for her. The jobs of her friends were to mention the struggle with the dark energies inside if they saw Henry, bring him to her when the time came to sleep, to stand back and let things happen, to believe that Katie had the slightest idea what she was doing and just be ready to lend a hand if they were needed. It had been easier than expected to get their agreement.

They will betray you...

Of course they would. Katie had sworn them all to secrecy though.

Jaye was the first part of the plan – one of the parts that hadn't been written down. She had done splendidly. And the best bit? She didn't even suspect that she had already served her purpose – been used up and tossed aside like a rag doll. Silly Jaye! Anything she did now was predictable, pointless, pathetic. It took a momentary struggle not to sneer after her.

Afternoon was deepening to evening. The weather was chilly and there was damp in the air. Katie zipped her coat up, huddling in the puffy and downy warmth, jammed her baseball cap down over her head and headed for the gates leading to the main road. The temperature had dipped into single figures recently, but after the spoils of a hot summer and early autumn made it feel sub zero. And besides... Katie had an idea that she would still be shivering if it was still the height of summer. It was as if her body was finding the very coldest parts of the evening and holding it close to her, the darkness feeding of the bite. Passing the empty office by the gate was hard. A wave of sadness threatened to make her stumble but she pushed it down. Yes, Roy belonged in that room. Yes, it was wrong for him not to be there. She had to hurry past before mourning took her over. Dina was loitering at the corner of the main academy building and the main road, waving at her to hurry up so they could walk back together. It was time for the second stage.

"Christ, I need help."

Katie shook her head free of all her dark thoughts and concentrated. _I don't know where you are Jack. I don't know if you ever want to see me again but..._ this was turning out to be harder than she had thought. It was hard to keep her thoughts clear and coherent when all she wanted to do was break down and cry, pour her heart out to him and just bury herself in his arms with raw need and despair. Had that been her speaking voice, it would have cracked, choked off with tears, by now. But that wasn't what was needed right now. The memories of his strong arms around her would have to wait, the images of his face shining with happiness faded into grey. However much she wanted those moments back, they weren't going to return on the power of wishes. _Without you to help me keep a leash on this dark thing... I've been fighting it and I've lost. I've given in. I love you, green eyed cowboy, I thought I could keep strong for you but it's too powerful. Where-ever you are, Jack, I want you to know that._ She toyed with the idea of sending a post script. He had come so far with her, held her hand through so much trauma these last two months, he deserved to know she hadn't given up without trying. She sent a quick message off, wondering if the right person would hear it.

"Thought you were planning to stay there all night. My life wouldn't be worth living if you caught hypothermia or something."

"I probably wouldn't have a life at all."

Dina stopped where she stood. Katie moved on beyond her and then turned back to Dina when she noticed she was walking alone.

"Can you not talk like that?"

"True. Exposure kills 30000 people every year. What's one more?"

" _You_ might be the one more. I don't want that, none of us do. We don't want this either."

"I've made my choice, D. Or, rather, it made the choice for me."

"I get that. Believe me, I understand how hard it is to keep smiling when your emotions are overloading. Telling everyone you're okay when you're really really not. It's unbearably difficult."

"Why shouldnt I stop then? Why shouldn't I throw it all away? You did."

The older girl reeled back, visibly stung. "This plan of yours... how sure are you that it'll work?" she asked, searching for a question that wouldn't turn into a personal attack.

"About as sure as I was that we'd get back home when I dragged you off that cliff." A shudder shook her, either memory or cold.

"Ah."

"Yeah." She tightened the straps on her backpack as they walked the long strip of street between two streetlamps. There were a few trees along this stretch – in front of the medical centre – spreading their branches far and wide and providing lots of blind spots under which any old thing could be hiding waiting to pounce waiting to drag her under. Under the ground under the world where it was dark as the night and as silent as the grave. Another shudder rocked Katie. Nothing was likely to happen to them out here.

"You're changing already."

"I had an idea of the darkness. I imagined it as these dark laces through this ball of light – my soul or whatever. And every day there were more of them. Then there were more dark bits that there were light and it just... I don't know, swamped me. Like quicksand."

Dina nodded like she got the metaphor instantly. "I feel guilty for putting it in you in the first place."

"You shouldn't. It was that or die. I'd rather live in shadow than die in the light."

"I don't want to watch you do this to yourself."

"Then close your eyes. You promised to help me and I'm trusting you to do that. I need you three to help me. I don't have the strength on my own."

Dina looked longingly further down into the town. This conversation was getting uncomfortable. "Jaye has a swimming gala tonight. I promised to go watch."

"Fine. Go."

"Don't do anything without telling me first."

"I'm not stupid." _Probably clinically insane, but not stupid._

Night had fallen almost completely by the time the old house on Newton Street came to life. Adam had passed her in the hall when Katie had eventually gotten home, on his way to teach his class at the community centre. Leo was blasting some shooting video game out of the console in the front room and Katie was rummaging through the freezer for something halfway decent to shove in the oven for dinner. There should be a couple of frozen cottage pies they could have. Unsurprisingly, they seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth. And then Lainy bolted down the stairs and screeched to a halt in the open kitchen door, one door upstairs still banging back onto a wall and swinging shut. For a second, she bent over with her hands pressed to her waist and trying to get her breath back and pointed wordlessly towards the stairs.

"Spider!" Lainy managed to squeak out at long last. "Bathtub... huge."

"How big?"

Lainy circled her thumb and forefinger to make a shape slightly larger than a two pence piece. "And the legs. Legs like the McDonalds arches."

"Such a way with words, Lainy. Should have been an English major."

"I know I'm supposed to be the grown-up but... kill it for me?"

"Arachnophobic?"

"Uh-huh. Stupid right?"

"Give it ten. See if he crawls back down the drain."

Lainy tiptoed over to take a seat at the table as if she was afraid the spider might hear her moving and chase her down here. "You said you were going to get that seen to."

"I did. Doc says there's just some bruising. The strapping took the worstof it." They were all lies but they came so easily. And the truth? _I didn't bother because I've got better things to do than lie under a dumb X-ray machine. And, to be honest, I don't care._ Well, that came even easier.

"Anything else you need to tell me?"

"Should there be?"

"Sweetie, you're in college, living with a bunch of strangers, working illegally in a nightclub. You've got plenty to discuss if you need to do that."

"I'm fine. Really."

"We're always here if you need us though."

"I'm going to do my homework." Katie found a frozen meal in the bottom drawer, looked at the cooking time and shoved it in the oven without even noticing what the meal was. "Call me in half an hour to eat that." Thirty minutes or until the smell of burning hit her room. It wouldn't be long enough to do all of her homework but she could make a dent. If she worked quickly, there might even be time to fold all those new clothes Marcie had made her buy last shopping trip because they looked so adorable. She had managed to stick to jeans and some printed tops, although a few items had been absolutely gorgeous – tight black trousers with a silver spider web stretching over the right hip.

"Katie! Dinner's ready!" Lainy shouted up the stairs. The time had just floated away. "You want anything with this?"

"Juice, please!" She didn't feel like saying her pleases and thank yous but it had been drilled into her since birth to be polite. It was automatic now. Katie shoved her chair away from the desk and capped her pen. Then she looked towards the bed. Falling into it and crawling under the dolphin duvet spoke to her. Sleep had not come easily last night... not until the first gray haze of dawn had lightened the room but it had been dreamless – her straining mind too exhausted to maintain any kind of fantasy or nightmare – but there simply hadn't been enough of it and she was dog tired now... _I want someone to share that bed with me. To hold me tight, so tight that the monsters can't get me._ "Coming!" With a final glance in the mirror to make sure _what? That they haven't already gotten to you?_ To find her face hovering between the hard, blank expression that was so easy, and the softer face she usually wore. If she could just hold on to that one face...

Lainy was bending over the oven and taking Katie's ready meal out of thee oven, dropping it onto the sideboard with a hiss and blowing on he fingertips.

"That's hot."

"Thanks for the warning."

"Thought you would have figured out that's how ovens work by now." Katie wrapped a tea-towel around her hand and carried the plastic tray of –it smelt like chilli – over to the table and slid her knife under the cellophane. "What happened with the bath?"

"I'm not going back up there. What if it's still there?"

"What if it's not?"

It was torture – just sitting around and waiting for her plan to settle into action – but it had to be done. As the night grew later and tiredness dulled Katie's instincts to panic and worry about everything that could be going wrong, she found she was relaxing. Relaxing in the sensory assault of a first person shooter video game, giggles over a board game and her own MP3 player in her ears trying to drown all the noise out. There was a half-read book on her lap – a yellowing copy of Dracula her English teacher had told them all to read.. it was hard going and the writing was old-fashioned and flowery, but Katie was enjoying it. The organised chaos reminded Katie, suddenly, of evenings with her family when everyone would fight their corner for the TV remote. She couldn't even remember who usually won. Jaye, home from her gala without a drop of water clinging to her hair, groused about losing to some girl in the year above. Dina tried to be sympathetic but rolled her eyes every so often, indicating she thought Jaye would never let this go. Katie caught her gaze once, in between songs, and had to order herself not to start with the giggles. She really was taking the competition a touch too seriously.

"It's good to see you smile," Jaye whispered, leaning in close and taking one earphone out. She held it close to her own ear and then offered it back. "Ugh! Country. More of a dance girl, myself."

"I like country. It makes everything sound simple." _It sings to me. It is harmonious and powerful._ "And a lot of the songs really aren't that different."

"Yeah, that's great, babe," she said, sounding distracted. "Listen, I saw Henry on my way home."

Katie felt a hardness come over her face, wondered if anyone had noticed.

"At least, I think it was him. That picture you showed us earlier _was_ him, right? Then, yeah, I saw him."

"Did you speak to him?"

"No. I wasn't sure it was him. He looked... strange." More specific words had escaped and only synonyms of weird remained.

"Strange how?"

"Like he was calm, completely at ease and nothing to worry about. Yeah, I know, right, what's strange about that? But then I thought his son's been missing for two days and if anyone could sense him it should be him. So, shouldn't he be running around like a headless chicken?"

"He probably thinks Jack can take care of himself."

"Do you want me to talk to him next time?" Katie grunted a response and tried not to yawn as her friend continued. "I can totally do that."

£You won't drop me in it will you? You know..." Katie nodded her head across at Adam and Lainy. Before anyone had a chance to say a word, Dina squeezed onto the other seat of the settee forming a Katie sandwich.

"We all love you, Katie," she said. "It's just horrible to watch you do this."

"Not that we're trying to change your mind or anything. But this plan of yours... it doesn't exactly seem water tight."

"Held together with bubblegum and wishful thinking," Katie admitted.

The sounds of normal life bubbled all night and it lulled her further towards sleep. A sleep that was broken around midnight when someone prodded her upstairs. A sleep that was so deep and dark that if dreams disturbed it, they were immediately forgotten.

If Monday night was hard, then Tuesday morning was a slow and painful death. But Katie had the utmost confidence in her plan, that her three co-conspirators would do exactly what she wanted.

She hit the gym before classes to work off some of the nervous energy that was bubbling away.

"Thought I might find you here," she said to the red-haired boy near the weights. "Chris the paramedic." She had managed to wheedle his work schedule out of Lainy the night before and she had been sure he trained before his morning classes because he worked right after.

"Hey."

"Pleasantries. How cute."

"I'm famous for cute," he replied, almost seriously. "You need a running partner?"

It was a painfully accurate question. One that deserved a painfully accurate answer. "You have no idea." Katie started up the treadmill nearest the window and set it to a decent jogging pace on a slight incline. Chris matched her pace on the one next to her. "You started racing when?"

"At senior school. My PE teacher said I had a talent."

"Shit PE teacher."

"Excuse me?"

"Teachers know nothing. You run, you like it, anyone can tell you're good. But you don't have a talent for it. That," she twisted her head to look him up and down, "isn't talent. It's hard work. Stop training, you couldn't outrun a milk float."

"Are you feeling okay?"

What was this thing where everyone asked if she was okay? It was getting annoying. The black thing inside uncurled itself and stretched, suddenly interested in the effect it was having even while it slept.

"Never been better." Katie grinned at him, eyes as hard as marbles. The darkness in her relished the look of shock on Chris's face. The other day he had seen a sweet and scared girl, trembling outside a hospital. Today, he was running beside a girl who seemed closed off to the entire world and who didn't give a damn. "Hmm, maybe I have been. It's hard to tell sometimes."

"I know the feeling," he said, sounding like he genuinely understood. Katie frowned. This wasn't how the plan was supposed to go...

"Doubtful."

"Come on, I know you can race harder." Chris reached down and cranked his speed up. Predictably shaded eyes, hidden behind wraparound dark glasses, dared Katie to match him. Maybe even go faster.

She grinned – lips pulling up in a not-quite-smile. _I like a challenge._ "How'm I doing? Keeping up?"

"Not bad, kid, not bad at all. How often do you come up here? Thought pounding the ground was more your style."

"Not today." Katie jumped and straddled the moving black belt, one foot on either side and fumbling with the sports cap on her water bottle. "Too many people. All breathing and smiling and moving. Damn things get everywhere."

"Problem with people?"

"Hmm." The black thing inside was growing all the time. It wanted to hurt people... hurt them until they cried blood and bled tears... hurt them until they begged for mercy... hurt them until they didn't care if they got it or not. But Katie had it under control. Only a tiny bit of it came out each time. Just enough to be used for what she needed. The rest of the purple-black parasite complained at being left alone. It could carry on complaining. Katie was tired of listening.

"Big talker."

"I was always told that if I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything. But I can say lots of nice things. I just don't want to."

"You don't want to be nice?"

"Too much work."

"Well, of course it takes work. People can't just go round being mean to each other for no reason."

"I have a reason." Katie fixed her gaze on the display before her, noting how far she had run so far. Then she snaked one hand out and covered one of his with it, slowing him down a little. His eyes widened behind their shades, his cheeks stretched and smoothed. A tendril of darkness slithered down her arm and pushed at the skin of her palm, gently brushing him. Chris glanced up at her. This was Levenson Academy. Things like this weren't supposed to happen in this place. Things like this weren't supposed to happen full stop.

"You..."

"Me."

"How..."

"It's been a long time, Chris. Growing, getting stronger. Making itself ready for the outside world." She hit the red STOP button with her elbow and hopped down, craning up to stare straight into his face. It was had to make his expression out but Katie didn't think he looked scared. Her eyes took on an instant glitter – a dark sparkle. Her mind ran to another place, somewhere she had to be and soon, picked up a familiar shape hovering near the door. "D'you think it's ready now? I do." Now he looked scared. Every fibre of her screamed against this alarming new development. _What? You have so many friends now that you can afford to scare one away?_ But she shut the voice up with a mental slap. Secretly, Katie enjoyed that. "Girlfriend's waiting."

"I should go." Chris stepped from his machine and wiped the back of his neck with a towel from a bag with LASA and the college crest sewn into it. "Early art class. We should do this again. You make a good partner."

Katie grinned one final time. Her cheeks were starting to ache but when her face wanted to smile, it smiled. Everything was going so perfectly. "Say hi to Jaye for me. We're such good friends." And then Chris was disappearing through the door like he couldn't get away fast enough. He was haring off to tell some tales.

Marvellous.

The first bell was about to ring out but Katie was swinging her way out of the building against the crush of people flooding into their classes. _Look at them all. Like sheep or deer... just going the same way as everyone else. I could feel sorry for them. Not knowing what it would be like to go the other way. Only almost though. If they went the other way..._ if they went the way she was going, the town would turn into chaos. For people would find her and they would stop her. It couldn't be that way. And it wouldn't be that way. Her friends were busy doing what she had told them to do – and probably a little bit more besides, thinking they were being helpful. And while they were all busy stressing over that Katie could be working on the real plan.

The real plan that accounted for her friends' betrayal. Mademoiselle Romani had told her not to trust them, that they would turn on her and tell their stories they thought might help, and they had. The real plan that considered her emerging dark nature and the intensity of her light. The light might be almost swallowed whole by now but it hadn't faded. The real plan which included letting go of everything she was trying to hide away and allowing it to become her fuel. But, mostly, the real plan was the one in which she trusted nobody but herself.

"Excuse me, little lady," Henry said, stepping from the shadows near the student coffee shop and touching her by the shoulders. "Something wrong?"

The question was too sharp. Too pointed. Everything was wrong. The list could go on and on if she opened her mouth and, fearing this, Kate lether shoulders drop and kept looking at the floor.

"Coffee. We'll talk."

She let him take her by the elbow – an old-fashioned gesture of politeness that surprised her – and lead her into the coffee shop. It was quite a big place, about half-full, not just with students although the academy owned the place. "Hot chocolate," she told him and went to find an empty seat while he went to order. Some-one had already spoken to Henry Lawson – probably that morning. "I ditched school to find you."

He slid into the seat opposite and sipped his lidded drink, not even wincing as the steaming liquid hit his lips. _He's not human. He doesn't feel the heat._ "Why?"

Shining brown eyes reflected in the sticky table top. Henry was watching her closely.

"Your friend came to me earlier. Leo. I think his name was Leo."

"I'm surprised," in the way that wasn't.

"He told me to expect you."

"I bet he said a damn sight more than that."

"You're shivering."

Katie held her hand out in front of her. Slight tremors shook it like a leaf on the breeze. A mad giggle rose up in her throat. "Oh yeah." The hot chocolate in front of her was milky and sweet but she still found herself dumping more sugar into it. As chilled and bitter as she way feeling, nothing seemed sweet enough. "let me guess. He told you about my nightmares."

Henry stroked her hand like the police counsellors used to. It was not a nice feeling. Katie forced a smile anyway, pretending that his touch had comforted her.

"Jack used to chase them off. But, they've caught me up now." _You stopped running._ "They're lying still for now but soon..." She sighed and looked up, mouth twisted in a grin that held no joy. "Soon they will move, and I will move with them."

"Why? What do they want?"

"Ever since I got here I've been kind of cursed with bad dreams. Dreams that don't always stay in my head. If you know what I mean."

Something familiar flashed across the man's face. Yes, he understood. He understood _exactly_. "You're thinking that your nightmares might be real and if you let them catch you-"

"There'll be no more me," she finished. "It could be because they want me out of their way. Maybe they just think I'm good sport. Whatever the reason, I'm prey. And I don't have a reason to keep running."

"And my son kept you free from these things?"

"He promised to take care of me. And then he left me."

"You need help to fight these things then."

"More than anything. I'm on my own now. I'm just human. I don't have the strength or knowledge you guys do." She whined and flexed her fingers beyond the wrist strap. They had gone numb and the pins and needles now were reminding Katie not just of sensation returning to her hands but of reality returning to her whole body. It hurt. It ached. But it would be worth it.

"I don't know if you should. It might be dangerous."

"Little lady, I'm a cowboy. I know all about dangerous."

"But-" She took another slurp of her drink, suddenly glad she hadn't gone for coffee. These jitters didn't need to be any worse. He had definitely seen them, seen tall probably. Words, now, were the only things left to finish. "If you're sure? And I wouldn't ask if Jack was around."

Henry leaned forward and his green eyes burned eagerly. Katie was weak, a vulnerable mortal girl. "Anything you need me to do."

"Wait for me sleep. When the bad people come for me, you come too."

# Chapter eleven

The meeting with Henry Lawson was over and Katie felt like she might implode with nerves. The whole set up had been down to luck really, although she tried to say it was careful planning and clever judgement. But the lie sounded flimsy even in her own head. The important thing was that he had bought her story, promised to help. It was too tempting for him to turn down. He got to play the hero until the zombies in her dreams and her own darkness had done all the grunt work of wearing her down, making her believe that it was harder to go on than to give in. And then, he could finish the job. The knight in shining armour and the devil in disguise, switching between them on the flip of a coin. He would follow her into the dream, watch her exhaust everything she had left, and then he would bring out his hidden weapons and put the red shine of hate in his eyes and kill her. Knowing what was going to happen sent a cold shiver along Katie's spine. Dying was no longer a concept that scared her – it had lost that awful power soon after she learned she was living amongst ghosts – but being murdered brutally had it. Her recent past had been chock full of the dregs of humanity, the cruelty of love and hate; this may well be the last she ever knew of such depravity. It was wrong, she knew, but she didn't want this to be the end of it and she didn't want this man who called himself Henry Lawson to be the last person she saw. No, there must be more. More suffering, more malice more violence.

If there's no more, I might as well be dead.

Katie tilted her face to the sky, tasting the tang in the air that meant rain was coming. By the look of the heavy grey clouds in the distance, there may even be a storm. This is what life tasted like – the threat of a coming thunderstorm and then the joy when it passed you by. Of course, Katie would always be the unlucky one who got struck by lightning.

Ahh, you win some, you lose some.

She pulled up the hood of her coat as the first drops bean to fall. _Home. It's safer at home._ It wouldn't be safer in a padded cell with a SWAT team standing guard outside her door, but she headed for home anyway. She needed to get a few things.

# Chapter twelve

"Left some books! Won't be long!" Katie called into the quiet house as she blew past the front door, up the stairs and into her room. Once inside, she emptied an old make-up bag and filled it with the things she thought she might need. To make it look convincing, she added a couple of books to her bag and left the corners poking out. Probably nobody would notice but just in case. Then she hoisted it up to her back, wondering how books and notepads could be this heavy, and went back downstairs. She knew the adults were at home even though she couldn't hear them – the house just had that easy feel of life.

"Hi guys. You're not..." and then her voice trailed off, sliding into a hush it seemed wrong to break. Lainy was sitting at the kitchen table with a piece of paper shaking in her hands; her eyes red rimmed from crying and stands of blond hair sticking out of her eternal braid. She wanted to go to the older girl, try to comfort her in some way. Whatever had caused this scene was unimportant. She even took a step forward to do this when she stopped, noticing another dark shape out of the corner of her. Adam – tall, tanned, bursting with muscle and always ready with a friendly smile, sarcastic shots that never failed to make everyone smile with him. Not today. Today, Adam was tall and muscled still, but he was also pale and frozen, shock written into every line of his face. Neither of them had noticed her standing there watching them, she didn't think. They did not move, except for the single tear that rolled down Lainy's face. She wiped it away angrily.

It took a long minute for them to see her hovering, unsure of what to say or do. After all, these were Adam and Lainy. They were supposed to be the grown-ups, the caretakers – not the ones who had problems. "Katie," Lainy breathed. "Have you been there long?"

"Long enough."

"Come sit down. We need to have a word."

"Uh-huh. I need to talk to you too."

"Ad, shut the door will you?"

"There's no-one here to overlisten. Over hear, I meant. Then I wanted to say listen."

"It just feels more private."

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Yes," said both girls together.

He walked over to the kitchen door and closed it with a click. He was moving like a robot, legs stiff and heavy. It was the awkward movement of somebody who had more stuff on his mind. "I'll make tea," he said hollowly. But they all refused the offer and pulled him into the third chair at the table.

"It's not the end of the world," Lainy whispered. She slid an arm around his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "We'll get through this. We always do." She plucked a few tissues from the box in front of them and scrubbed at her face. Adam took a shaky breath in and his face cracked, tumbling crazily into a smile that was a shadow of what it had been. The closeness of the one he loved was enough to feed his fears but it also gave him the courage to put them aside and concentrate on the little girl at his side. Being with Lainy was comfortable – not always the easiest thing in the world – and right. He took another breath and prepared to speak into glittering eyes and a stony face. Had Katie looked like that before?

"I know about Northwood. You know I know and I know you know," Katie blurted out before she lost her nerve.

"We couldn't tell you. We wanted to. But we can't break the rules."

"Rules. So many cans and can'ts. Dos and don'ts."

"But there are ways to handle this."

Katie raced back to the conversation she had eavesdropped on through her phone. "By getting _up there_ people to strip the knowledge out of my head. I heard."

"Sweetie, you shouldn't know about these things until you're at least eighteen."

"And if we had our way, you wouldn't ever have to know about them."

"I never asked for any of this," Katie spat. It had been a shock when she started to learn the secrets the town held. "And I don't want it!" She closed her eyes, trying to quiet all the worries that were battering at her still. This could all go incredibly badly. But she had to try. "Can you take me to them?"

What if they took her memories before she even had a chance to do what she needed to do? What if hurt? What if they only took her memories and not this darkness? What if they couldn't (or wouldn't) do what she wanted? What if they took offense to her for some reason? What if they decided she wasn't worthy of their assistance? What if what if what if... And none of them filled Katie with positive thoughts.

"Do you know what it will mean?"

"I can live the next few years in peace. Not wondering which of my friends still has a heartbeat. Not looking over my shoulder to see if something bad is chasing me. Not having all these damn questions inside me trying to squash my brains out. Yes, I know exactly what it means."

"It also means you can't have Jack. You won't even remember him."

"I told him I loved him and he left the same day. I don't want him."

"It will makes things easier though," Adam chipped in with the slightest echo of... longing in his voice. It was so subtle though, that it may well have not been there at all. "This would be just another town to you."

"They'll definitely take it all? They're powerful enough to take everything?"

"Sweetie, of course they can. They watch all the young ones here. They do anything they need to do to protect the children."

Why didn't they protect me when I needed them my first week here? Where were they all those time I've been in danger?

"We'll take you tonight. I'll make arrangements."

"What does it look like?"

Lainy took her thick bottom lip in her teeth and chewed at it. She had only seen the place once, and that had been a semi-conscious blur as they deemed her too important to leave Earth and dumped her soul back into her bloody body at the side of the road. There had been manic laughter, the glare of high beams in the rearview mirror, the screech of brakes... and then there had been a dark few seconds filled with sounds and shadows. And then she was shivering on the tarmac watching a car burn just feet away – the car with her father in, flesh sizzling and eyes popping their way down to hell.

"Lainy?"

But Adam waved a hand to quiet her. "She saw the place once. The day she died."

"Oh. Sorry."

Lainy seemed to wake from her thoughts all at once. "All I remember is a long silver bridge. You had to be careful because there was water underneath it. Enough water to drown in. And beneath the water was impossible fire. Across the bridge are arches. Voices echo. Things twinkle and they balance. They are the creation and the keepers."

Somewhere along the way, that speech had turned into less of Lainy's memories and more of a monologue learned by rote.

"I'd like to go there."

"It's not meant for the living."

"But you just said you could take me."

"There are agents in your world. They are weakened by humanity but they can erase your knowledge. And yet there is still some danger."

Adam had been sitting statue-still and watching this whole exchange with a bewildered look. Now, he found himself reaching for Katie's hand, finding it already halfway to his. Together, they bent towards Lainy, straining to catch words that were barely a whisper. "You may forget. Yet you may still learn. And there is no certainty."

"Trouble? Uncertainty? You must have my birth certificate because those are my middle names."

"We cannot promise it will be painless."

"You erase my memories, I won't remember it."

"Very well. We shall consider that your consent."

The far-away looked fell away from Lainy. "Something just happened to me. I was saying things and I didn't even think of the words. Some-one just put them in my head and then I had to say them."

"You're okay, love?" Adam asked. He untangled his hand and stroked hair away from her face.

"I should be asking you that," she replied, still distracted and a bit dazed. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

Blushing lightly, Katie turned away, suddenly feeling like an intruder but unwilling to leave. "So, uh, tonight?"

"Tonight." But it was too long to wait. "For now... college. Shift."

Katie huffed a sigh out, one that she didn't really feel – she was finally going to be rid of everything that was hurting her. Soon, it would all be over. She made sure they both noticed her glowering at them for a minute then slunk off to the door.

This had to look convincing.

More convincing than she felt at any rate.

Inside, doubt pulsed slowly but strongly. Her head was working at such speed; puzzling over the human agent and whether she knew him or her. Or it. Lainy had only spoken about an agent on Earth, not that they were necessarily a person – the agent may be an animal, a building, a god-damn tree! And who said it even had to be in Northwood? It might be in a different town, a different county, entirely. She was a mess of confusion and didn't notice her feet nearing the edge of the pavement and over-balancing on the kerb. Her weak ankle buckled beneath her. _Fucking OW!_ The hard gravel road rushed up to smack her in the face and, purely on thoughtless instinct, she threw both arms out in front of her. There was a sickening/satisfying crack as the bone snapped. The pain of the break bucked the agony exploding in her sprained ankle. Then her body crunched down onto the rarely-used road. _How can I fall this hard? How fast was I going?_ Gravel bit through her jeans and scraped her shins and knees raw, abraded her hands and then Katie toppled breathless to the ground. The rush of blood brought a dizzying array of colours that hurt to look at. But she closed her eyes and let the colours batter her into unconsciousness, picturing a silver bridge and dreading getting too close to it.

But she had to get close. Had to get on her hands and knees and edge her way to the brink. Her eyes were shut tight. It would terrify her to look down. She looked down. In front of her was a gleaming silver bridge with no handrails at the side. Nothing to grab on to if somebody should fall when crossing. It was no more than eighteen inches across, maybe a foot. Not the thinnest beam she had ever tottered across, but her previous attempts at the four inch balance beam in the gym had been roughly one foot in the air and surrounded by crash mats. Not so high that vertigo was within easy reach. A mile or more below was rippling water with an impossible fire glowing golden beneath it. It was breath-takingly beautiful. She glanced back at the bridge, unable to see beyond this bridge that stretched on forever.

No, it doesn't. Look. It vanishes just there – vanishes into silver shadow and mist.

Her eyes dragged back to the flowing river below. It looked so calm and peaceful. She could watch it all day if she had the time. Katie thought about the disappearing silver path, knew she had to cross – something she wanted lay across it – and then leaned back until she was sitting back on her heels to- a spike of flame jumped from the canyon, so close, so searingly hot, that Katie felt her hair blow back from her face and her cheeks darken. This flame had a face. No face she recognised or could name but one that put a twisting knot deep in her stomach. As it rose further and further above her, it leaned down and screamed at her. A scream that contained eons of fury and wells of hate. It was an eternity of displacement and confusion. A wail of profound grief, sadness; a pit of emotion. It scared Katie to her feet. She needed to get back – away from this heat and...

Go with the thing. Let it take me under and twist me and turn me to its' will. It will never hurt me. There will be forever...

She was rising and staring into the heart of the fire, moving to step forward, when something invisible but packing the weight of a medicine ball threw her to one side.

NOOOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

Over the edge

Falling

Falling fast

And into nothing.

_Katie flung her left arm up and let her fingers find the sharp edge of the bridge. She didn't want to fall into these fiery depths below the water._ How would I breathe? _The metal was surprisingly cool. She had been expecting it to be much too hot to keep a hold of for more than second or two – ironically, a science class just last week had taught her that silver was a massively heat-conductive metal – but she didn't think that was any ordinary blaze. Her fingers were cramping up already and the silver was getting slick with her own sweat. Left handed, Katie couldn't hang for long. That only left..._

_The face in the fire roared again. It was getting higher and higher. It was reaching for the white clouds above. It couldn't be allowed to get there. Ignoring every voice in her head that told her to_ let it get there. It'll be better all round if you leave it alone.

" _Alone to do what?"_

Why, all those things we always wanted, Katie. To pour destruction on anyone who ever hurt us. And to strike down the rest before they get the chance.

" _No. we can't. I never wanted that."_

You never wanted to be raped. You never wanted to be scared of your childhood home. You never wanted your friends to die. You never wanted to fight for your own life. You never wanted this.

" _You're right." She briefly wondered who she was arguing with, decided it didn't matter. Winning mattered. "I never wanted any of this. But I've got it. And I'm damn well going to keep it."_

The face in the fire shrieked again and shrank a few feet. And then Katie realised – she was talking down the flame. Arguing a sizzling heat and a body of moving flame. And she was winning.

You don't want to be free? I can give you immunity to all disease. You could be rich beyond your dreams. I think you should reconsider.

" _What do you have that I could possibly want?"_

I could show you things. Take you to new places. I could find the man who hurt you in the spring. Those ones who made you cry in the summer. The ones who abandoned you this autumn. We could make them fall like the leaves in winter.

_Something about it appealed to her. The prospect of revenge..._ "Tempting..." _she whispered, low enough that she didn't have to listen to it herself._

The flame jetted up again.

" _But no."_

It sank again, low enough that Katie could see directly into a face obscured by licks of golden flame and burnished by temperatures in three figures.

" _You think I could...this isn't fair! What you're offering isn't justice. It's not getting even. It's revenge. And that's nothing I want to be a part of."_

No?

Katie bit her lip and dug her fingernails into the hard metal. It didn't help her grip any. Her hand was slipping – fingers sliding ever closer to the edge and it was impossible to peel them up and fumble for a dry patch to hang from. Even one microgram less pressure would send her hurtling down where she could burn or drown or die from the pure gravitational pull of the fall. With murderous effort, Katie hauled her right arm up and above her head and flung it over the solver bridge, gasping out a scream she didn't have the breath to turn into sound.

Let go. Become the oblivion. Take what you want, what you need, and never have to pay.

And wouldn't that just solve everything?

Her brown coat was riding up her back. Something caught on the dangling belt, slid out of her back pocket and started a slow flutter down. Katie caught half a glimpse of it before it floated out of sight. Tarot card. A figure sitting on a rock, a sword in one hand, the scales of justice in the other. And then it was gone ,turned over to show a purple swirled back as it floated into the depths of the fire, melting it's own dark path right through it. The face howled. One final shriek, filled with uter despair. Still screaming, the fire shrank to a candle flame and then it was ashes. Smouldering embers that were soon swallowed by the sea. The heat lingered for a few moments and then the sea seemed to suck that away too.

That still left the problem of her dangling from the bridge like a person-shaped pendulum. She gritted her teeth and moved her left hand to a drier patch where her finger could catch some traction. Not much but even a few seconds grip was better than nothing. She used that precious time to take her right hand away, shake out the cramp and ten fling it back over her head, glad and unquestioning when on of the straps caught on some tiny irregularity in the smooth surface. She put her trust in the precarious catch for an eternity. Now level with the silver walkway, it was thin, barely half a centimetre thick. How did it hold the weight of people walking back and forth? Why didn't it warp and bend in the heat? It felt like her arm was going to pop out of its' socket. Her wrist was completely numb – a blessing, surely. She folded her other arm onto the silver bridge and tried to claw her way up. It was hard work and more than once Katie thought she was going to slip off and tumble over and over to her doom.

A quick/slow, painful/painless doom. A life she shouldn't want. A life she wouldn't have.

Breathless, red-faced, sweating, Katie pulled herself up and crawled a few shaking feet to the wall of mist. Sensation was creeping back onto her body. Exhausted, trembling, Katie stopped just before the silver strip vanished into a wall of fog. Heaven or hell might be behind it. Neither prospect surprised her. She twisted onto her back – the part of her that hurt the least – and unzipped her coat, shrugging out of it and using it like a blanket as she lay back. Just a breather.

A few deep breaths of cool air, tangy with fresh water spray, and Katie was ready to go again. If she let herself stay any longer, sleep would overwhelm her. Forward. Kate no longer trusted herself her own legs – not with the way this bridge seemed to have narrowed as it progressed. She crawled to the mist and touched a hand to it. It felt like nothing but air. Her hand pushed forward through the curtain and still came back clean and untouched. That was unexpected. This was meant to be a place of death and power. Surely there should be some guards or protection here. But nothing hummed in the air. It felt empty... hollow. It was neither. Before she lost the nerve, Katie wobbled to her feet and stepped into the wall of mist.

" _Hello?" she said, voice hardly more than a whisper. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Hello?"_

" _Open your eyes. See what we can show you." The words came from everywhere and nowhere. They echoed through the still air, commanding yet gentle. "See what we do."_

Katie shook her head. She was keeping them tight shut thank you very much. Naturally she was curious as to what might be in front of her if she looked- curious as a baby near a plug socket – but curiosity wouldn't kill this cat. Imagining the things was bad enough. In her mind, Katie saw arches made of human bones, more bridges between them of stretched skin and ropes of blood vessels and hair. Tiny creatures scrabbled for balance. They created this world from the spent bodies of Shades. As long as their body parts remained here, one Shade would have another day on Earth.

" _You won't show me anything I want to see."_

" _How will you know if you cannot look?"_

" _I'm scared."_

" _There is little to be scared of. Our trickeries and follies pose no threat to you. Once lost, a life cannot be endangered."_

Her eyes flew open a moment before she remembered not to look. "I'm still alive!"

" _This must be a lie. The living may not enter this holy place. The dead are often shocked out of the knowledge. It will return. What you have lost, it will return."_

" _Okay," she breathed, not understanding but willing to go along with the lies just to get out of here. The space around her was white and silver and palest grey. She was floating in unmoving air and there were indeed arches in the distance. They glinted in the light. She felt herself move towards them as she tried to get a good look at them, hypnotic as they were. Katie tore her gaze from the beautiful structures and concentrated on letting her eyes haze._ Safe now. _To go to those arches, to pass beneath them, was to never come back._

" _You should have waited. This is no place for the fragility of mortals. We break them so quickly."_

" _I don't break easily."_

" _No. You have survived your journey here."_

" _Who am I talking to? I can't see anyone. It's freaking me out. Where are you?"_

" _We are in the air. Everywhere you look we are there. Everywhere you go, we will follow you."_

Well, that was comforting... in the slasher guy from Scream kind of way. "Everywhere?" She bent down to the coat that rested by her feet, pooled as if on a floor... but there was no ground. One deep pocket held the small padded make-up bag she had put the sheriff's badge in to keep the pin from sticking in her. Bleeding in this place seemed like the eighth deadly sin. There was power in here – it was all around her, constant and hushed like silent running on a plane. It hadn't been able to permeate the wall of mist which acted as a sort of barrier between the mortal realm and this higher, far superior plane. If they had the power to wipe her brain of everything she had learned since coming to Northwood, then they had the power to do anything.. "I came to ask a favour."

There was a moment of absolute silence in which Katie thought she might have been dismissed without a word. The relief, then, when the voice came back! "We have chosen well. You are known to us, Katie Cartwright. You have proved yourself worthy."

" _Aren't you going to ask what I want?"_

" _No. It is done."_

There was a cold stinging thing at her legs and hands. Groggily, Katie squinted her eyes open, letting a fraction more light in every second once she was sure it was not going to sharpen up and stab her through her pupils. She sucked in a breath that wanted to be a moan as the stinging thing swiped at her again.

"Sorry," a singsong voice said. "Has to be done though."

Katie looked straight above her at the white ceiling. A nurse in blue scrubs was standing over her with a bowl of acid smelling water on a wheeled trolley and some cotton wool pads.

"Looks like there may be some glass in here too. Oh no, I think it was just the light." The nurse chattered away about nothing in particular but Katie found herself straining to catch every last word. The weird thing about careless chatter was that it was sometimes the most important kind. "You look like you've been in the wars."

"Ow! Never could stand this. Didn't matter if I was covered in blood or had a papercut, I always ran away when Mom got the TCP."

"I remember using it on my kids too. They thought I was punishing them for falling over."

"You were though, weren't you?"

"Well, a little sadism works wonders."

"This doesn't hurt as much."

"It's the same stuff. Antiseptic gets better with age. Not like vintage wine and stuff. I mean, leave this in the bottle for a decade, come to use it and your leg'll probably fall off."

"I get the point," Katie assured her, trying to make her breaths as slow and deep as possible. Bright sparks were dancing in the room. Sparks where other patients had sat and stood. They were too confusing – it was too much to deal with right now. "The older you are, the less likely you are to be scared by a bottle of TCP."

"More or less." The nurse dropped one last cotton wool ball onto the bloody pile on the trolley and peeled off her latex gloves. "All finished. I'm afraid I can't dress them just yet but I'll be right back with the gauze. Delivery today. Meantime, get some rest. Dr de Rossa's orders. Seems you're a favourite." She smiled and put an extra pillow behind her head before wheeling her squeaky trolley out of the room.

Katie didn't need to turn her head to know there was somebody else in the room. He was sitting in a chair in the corner and had eyes that sucked Katie into them and left her trapped in them, spinning and floating. "I knew you'd come for me. You don't trust me."

"Yes, I do. More than anyone. More than anything."

"Kiss me then."

"You don't mean that."

"I guess not." She meant it more than anything; needed the comfort and the strength; needed to be wanted one last time. Her eyes were drooping. The world was getting further and further away. One more breath. In through the nose, see it as a ball of wind inflating the lungs...

"So... what should I do now?"

"Save me." Then darkness crashed down.

# Chapter thirteen

Now what the hell do I do?

# Chapter fourteen

All Katie could do now was pray that her plan worked. One tiny slip up and she'd be dead. Or worse.

Everything would work out. Everything had to work out. There was no option for it not to. Telling herself it would be fine did not mean it would end up being fine, but the mantra made her feel more confident. And right, now, as her body surrendered to sleep, confidence was the only thing keeping her going.

Jaye, Dina and Leo had done what she told them – had spoken to Henry Lawson about her. They'd also done a few things she had not asked them to – hadn't needed to. With the warning that the trio would betray Katie, she had taken it on good faith that they would, and ordered them to tell nobody else of this plan to fall into a dark sleep and let Henry rescue her. It was insanely dangerous but no-one had accused her of being sane recently. And Katie had been working on another scheme while they thought they were in the thick of things. Most of her plan centred on giving her friends needless jobs to do (which sounded important) which kept them out of harm's way.

"Save me," Katie heard herself say. She sounded very distant – as if the body she floated in and the body her voice came from were miles apart. _A world apart._ "Like you always do."

"I don't know how to."

A warm hand curled around hers, long fingers winding through hers. Katie remembered that that touch, the strong arms that those hands belonged to. The times they had scooped her up or supported her when she was too weak to walk.

"Can you help her now?"

There was another figure by her bed. This edge of sleep was too thick to make any detail out but the smell... it was sweat and death. She recognised it in a flash and then the suffocating sleep dragged her under.

_She had her eyes closed and she was lying flat on her back on something cold and smooth, wearing a thin hospital gown that itched and fell open in all the wrong places. For one sickening second, Katie was dead and laid out on a morticians table just waiting for the scalpel to dissect her corpse._ Great. Dead and i didn't even see it _. It was so cold here. Well, duh! They had to keep morgues cold didn't they? To stop organs putrefying. She shuddered at the thought and that was how she knew she was still alive. The dead don't tremble. That, and the gentle pressure of a dozen hands resting on her stomach, her legs, her arms, any patch of flat or exposed skin, told her that._

Katie forced her eyes open as she turned her head to one side, thinking how nice it would be to just lie here in the middle of all these warm bodies and sleep... sleep until they put her six feet under... sleep until they covered her with dirt and dry flowers... and then sleep forever more. Because she was tired of this. She deserved a rest, didn't she?

Even if lasts forever?

But Katie couldn't think of an instance where that would be a bad thing.

She just knew it was.

Staring into the ruined face of the thing lying next to her confirmed it. There suddenly wasn't even enough air to scream. Katie felt her already tight abs stiffen further, reflexively and uncontrollably. What the hell was she thinking about, letting these creatures touch her? She tried to sit up and shake the hands off. Although they moved slightly with her movements, were gentle and light on her sore skin, getting them to let go was next to impossible. They all pressed down on her, keeping her fat to the floor. Never were the zombie things rough, or hurt her tender but remarkably unbroken skin; they just kept up this pressure that was as unyielding as it was soft as it was terrible. No, no, no. This wasn't the plan. She struggled to draw a full breath and couldn't help but whimper as the one lying beside her grinned. It didn't look like any smile she had ever seen. More a mouth being pulled back at the corners. It looked painful but the zombie thing did not appear to feel anything. Not one thing.

" _What do you want from me?" she managed to ask. She didn't expect a reply – the mouths on these faces were for show only. They didn't need to use words._

She struggled to rise up once more. It wasn't happening. Crumbling or not, missing limbs or not, these creatures were stronger. And now they had Katie, they weren't about to give up their prize.

" _Let me go!" However loud she shouted, they wouldn't hear her. The one with a hand on her cheeks opened it's eyes, an empty, lifeless blue._ Like dying in the sea. The last thing I'll ever see. Sea.

It was getting harder to breathe. The white walls, the grey window, they were closing in her. And she did not feel any urgency to escape.

The gaping faces all around twisted towards Katie, staggered to their knees and started towards her. Not one off them lifted their hand from her. They were touching her. They were going to crush her between them. They were going to swallow her until she became one of them. Unthinking unseeing uncaring unknowing. The thought terrified Katie at the same time as it comforted her. No more thinking for herself; no more hard decisions; no more trying to do the right thing; no more anything. No more...

If I have to go through this shit just to get the good times back I'll do it!

The zombie creatures were pressed against her by then. Trying to paw at her face and tangle their fingers in her long hair, so close that Katie could make out features beneath their smudged faces. Her friends were all pushing against her body. Wanted her to become like them – ruined bodies ravaging dreams for a way to survive. Behind them all, though, she glimpsed three faces she knew well enough to make her heart trip-hammer against her ribs and hot tears prickle her eyes. The sight froze her mid-struggle. The decaying bodies were crushing the air out of her, turning the air black with their dark desires. A soul. A body with some life in it. Suddenly it dawned. Death needed life. Without it, the dead of \Northwood would return to the grave.

So she had to let them live, didn't she. if only that didn't have to mean her own demise...

It doesn't have to.

_That voice... she knew it from somewhere. A golden hand reached through the masses of sad creatures on top of her and Katie grabbed for it. "Jack." Even as she said it, she knew it wasn't true. He was somewhere else, doing something else, with some-one else. Some-one who wasn't her._ Well, it better be bloody worth it! _Katie cursed him in her mind and then switched her attention to the hand trying to get to her. She just knew she had to get to it. Somehow, she did, shouldering her path through the bodies, pushing them and ignoring them break as they fell. One fell but, magically, there was always another one to take its' place. If she tilted her head to the left and squinted just enough, the smudged faces became all the people she had met since the last week of August. All the students she trained with and shared classes with at Levenson Academy._

" _You shouldn't have come back here."_

" _I didn't have a choice," she shrugged, kicking out at one particularly persistent zombie. Something cracked under her boot. Blood poured out of that torn up mouth and it fell to the floor, twitching and moaning. "Did i just-?"_

" _No."_

" _But I felt his ribs break. He's bleeding. I punctured his lung." The height of the creature made her think it was Adam, and she couldn't think of him as a thing. Couldn't think of any of them that way, really, even though there was little of the human left in any of them now. She began to bend down, wanting to help this thing that she had harmed. Mademoiselle Romani took Katie by the wrist and pulled her along to the next corner. She reached out to catch hold of one of those three people as she passed by but she couldn't quite reach... and then they were behind her, never even knew she was there. "Leave it alone, Katie. The dead are stronger than you imagine."_

" _What?"_

" _You think you can fix everything. You can't fix any of it."_

" _Why not?"_

" _Because that's not how it's meant to be. You're not that strong, Katie. This is bigger than you. It's going to chew you up and spit you out and you won't be able to stop it."_

This talk had taken a sharp turn towards Negativity Town – stopping at Waste, Hopeless and Surrender. Two could play that game. "I'm not that good to eat." It was harder to make her eyes shine in this nightmare world, almost impossible to set her face as hard as stone when she knew exactly what to be scared of.

And what are you scared of now?

The inner voice, sharp enough to cut glass, came like a minor miracle.

Everything.

And don't you forget it.

" _They're coming."_

Mademoiselle Romani, as perfect as the only time Katie had ever seen her alive, smiled and fumbled with the green and gold layers around her torso. And then came something Katie hadn't expected. Her face, her clothes, everything about her began to melt away, morphing into a completely different shape. One with green eyes and cowboy boots.

Jack. _She wanted to believe it was him. Her cowboy could just appear before her and take her away from the monsters; never let them bother her again. The world would go back to normal once he was holding her again. She would be stronger, faster, better. This crazy town would carry on being crazy and the monsters could rule it with iron and fire for all she cared._

" _Henry?"_

" _Yes. You're in danger."_

" _You think?"_

" _Grave danger."_

Katie couldn't help but snort a laugh at that and, when Henry looked at her in confusion, explained. "Grave. You know, since that's where I'll end up."

" _I promise you, I won't let them take you."_

" _Why not? If not them, somebody else will." It was amazing how therapeutic this was – letting the darkness out in short bursts, moments of absolute black. Solid and certain pitch. "One day, my nightmares are going to kill me. Why not today?"_

" _Never said it wouldn't be today." His gentle voice grew more pointed aas his face shifted through a thousand different ones. None that she recognised but a sickness twisted in her gut. She knew who each and every one of them were._

No. They can't be.

Say the word.

Not that many. They can't all be.

Say the word.

" _Victims." The word was a breath... a word written in the wind. There was no wind. There was a man with a changing face before her and a dying army struggling around the corner. And in the middle? A sixteen year old girl in work boots, a blood spotted hospital gown and nothing to lose._

" _I just said it wouldn't be them, little girl." The ever shifting face finally settled on the one she would never really be ready for. It hurt just to look into those eyes burning with hate and rage. They had blazed so long and so hot that they had lot any colour. They were just pits of sparking red. Blind, furious, out for blood._

My blood. _The certainty was just_ there, _in her mind. Waiting for her to do something with the knowledge – freeze with fear, scream, cry, crumble to the ground under the weight of confusion. She was too far gone to do any of those rational things. Katie looked down and thought about her old stripey make-up bag, how she wished she had it with her, and it materialised in her right hand. She could sense the echo of some kind of strap on her wrist. That was a world away. Right here and now, her body was perfect. Tired to the point of falling down but utterly unblemished._

The man in front of her frowned. He had not been expecting this.

" _What? I'm not dying with smudged lipgloss."_

" _Then you'll just die pretty."_

" _Aww, you think I'm pretty. How sweet." Katie unzipped the bag and took out of a lipstick tube with nothing in but paperclips. Then she pulled out the plastic compact and pulled it open. The mirror in the top wasn't a mirror. It was a silver sheriffs badge, glinting back at her like looking glass. "Funny thing about mirrors. They reflect just like silver."_

" _Those are gonna be your last words." The man growled. It was low and animal. There wasn't a hint of mortal conflict. His thoughts were as clear as Katie's own._

I want to kill and

(obliterate)

Maim and make you scream. You and everyone you care about

(everything you know and love)

Will fear me. And you can't stop me.

_Why was he so bent on hurting her? He hated her for seeing him murder a teenage boy 150 years ago as some sort of future memory ghost thing. It was hard to explain and it made her head ache to think about it too much but the short story was he had got mad at her for seeing and, worried she might report him to whoever sheriffed the sheriffs in the 19_ th _century, had taken his anger out on that teenage boy every night until he had found her. That boy had been Jack, and she had nearly died to save him._

She took the badge out of the compact and let the shell shaped object clatter to the floor. Then she held the shield up and put a finger to her lips, moving slowly and deliberately.

Not bothering to wait more than half a second, Katie folded her fingers around the badge, feeling the points of the star slice into her palm. Still watching the man who burned with hate, she tightened her hand into a fist and felt hot blood seeping through her fingers and dripping onto her boots, the floor, even making tracks towards her arm.

" _Give me that!" he roared and threw himself at her._

_At the last moment, Katie took a step to the side and turned to see him land hard on his right hip, dragging his sorry backside through a pool of her blood._ I didn't know there would be so much. _"Ooh, nice move, cow poke. Now, get the big boys out and let's dance." And what better place to dance than on a dancefloor._

Brown eyes snapped open and locked right away with dark blue ones. Not the ones Katie had wanted to wake up to but they were there. That was all that mattered. Whatever else was in store for her today, waking up alone wasn't on the list.

"What just happened?"

"Wrong question, Pointer."

"Huh?"

"You asked what happened. Either it's the wrong question or I don't have the right answers."

"Again... huh?"

"Nothing happened. But it's about to." As she continued speaking, Katie swung her legs out of bed and started dressing. She unhooked the strap from her right wrist, flexed her fingers and laid it on the top pillow. The bruises and cuts on her arms and legs didn't even tingle. She ripped the dressings off. Nothing. "Do you mind? I'm halfway to naked under this gown."

Leo grunted, only a little bit surprised, and turned around. There were no injuries on her now – they'd just vanished when she took the bandages off. The man who had come right after her eyes closed had just faded away a few seconds before. There was no trace of sleep in her face or body, nothing slow about her movements or the manic speed of her speech.

"See, I figured stuff out. Can't really talk about it yet but you can all come and watch the showdown in ooh – ten minutes? Bring weapons, it might get nasty. Showdown at Shimma, ha, I like that. Anyway, Henry's not really Henry, and he thinks I'll be an easy kill. He got into my dreams and stopped the zombies killing because he wants to do it himself and they're not real I don't think. Scary, but I think they only have power if I give it to them. I took back control of my nightmare and they're still locked tight up here. And now I'm off to meet him at the club and get this over."

One way or another.

Leo turned back around and took in her worn jeans and trainers, too long t-shirt and black coat with bits of banana yellow on the zips and buttons. Katie dragged a brush through her hair then folded it away in a tiny make-up bag she tucked into a pocket. She didn't look remotely like a soldier on the way to a battle that couldn't be won. Katie looked for all the world like a teenage girl dressed in her scruffs to go to college and doodle through all her lessons.

"Weapons?" he stuttered, still trying to sort through everything she had just told him.

"Uh-huh. You know... sharp things, shooty things, things for hitting people over the head with. Weapons."

"Bitch, you are _not_ making sense. And what've you got?"

Katie opened her hand and showed Leo the silver badge she held. Her palm was slashed, bleeding and burning as she held it.

"Gonna be helpful."

"Don't touch it!"

"Chill! Seriously."

"Stop that."

"Not even breathin'," he pointed out.

"But you're thinking. You're thinking so loudly that I can't."

"Okay. I won't think." And he tried because he didn't dare disobey Katie in this mood. She clearly wasn't in the mood to listen to his backchat.

The air in the room felt still and breakable, the temperature had dropped by about five degrees while they had been talking.

"What's going on, Katie? You're not acting like you. Are you even you any more?"

Because the way she held herself, the way her face was no longer smiles and curves but angles and smirks, even the words she was saying...

"Katie's not here today."

Shimma was just a few minute's sprint away.

Hmmm... no. Don't want to seem too eager

So Katie left the student medical centre and took a leisurely walk towards the club. It was a nice day – bright, warm when the sun shone, dry. It didn't seem to fit with the mood. A storm was brewing – just not in the sky. Her head was starting to ache. Maybe Dr de Rossa had been right and she should have taken a box of prescribed painkillers if she insisted on discharging herself.

"Gotta dash, doc. Places to be." The voice, the words, they sounded strange to her own ears and made her pause for just a minute before leaving. The darkness was winning – it was changing her... the slimy black thing that had been twisting and growing deep inside was now huge and hungry. _Just a little longer. Wait another minute and then... then you can have your fun._

# Chapter fifteen

"Hey, cowboy. Missed me?" Katie heard the word echo around the main room of the club before she even got through the dark doorway. She stamped the back of her own hand with a black S, shrugged out of her thick coat and pushed it through the hatch of the coat check area. Last day of her life or not, there were still rules. When she opened the door and called out, Katie felt like she was sneaking home at midnight after a party. The place was darker than midnight, stars twinkling above her and all around. For one eternal instant, there was a complete hush. Not one breath was taken. Not a single movement. The world was still and perfect and she was the only one in it. She could do whatever she wanted and there wasn't a soul alive to make her feel guilty about it. But there was so much she already felt guilty about. And there was nobody to forgive her either. If it hadn't been for the faint mists of colour near the stars jostling each other and weaving in out of other colours, Katie would have cried... sunk to her knees in the surety that she was truly defeated. But no. She wasn't alone. As her eyes adjusted to the gloom, she could just make out dark outlines – lots of them – moving busily around and whispering panicked words she couldn't quite make out. Her blood was pounding too loudly under the sensitive membranes of her ears. A twinkling light caught on a shock of hair glinting silver under it. A platinum blond head instructing the other shadows and pointing at random spaces around the room.

"Shimma?"

He was handing out weapons; daggers and Tazers, charms and sprays. It wasntas simple as pepper spray, she suddenly knew, not knowing just _what_ it was instead. Then she caught a snatch of conversation.

"These things can only be used in defence."

"But we want to help Katie, not ourselves."

"You're here. She never expected you guys to come."

"And all we can do is stand around, armed to holy fuck, and do nothing."

"Isn't that what she asked you to do?"

How does-

But Katie had the question torn from her mind with a blinding flash of light that seemed to come from nowhere, leaving her disoriented and blinking multi-coloured spots from her eyes.

"Well, well. The little girl grew up."

"I'm not a little girl. I'm not even Katie anymore."

"And who are you instead?" He smirked. It made her skin crawl to watch. Whatever Katie had seen and done, there were still things that frightened her.

"You're a murderer."

"You're one too."

Yeah, that stung. It hurt worse because it was true.

"Your friends... two of the people you pretended to care about died this week. Not by your hand, true, but you're just as much to blame as me. You did nothing to bring them back."

"You can't blame me for not following them into the End Place. I might never even come back."

"Ain't that the truth. Another thing 'bout you."

Katie held her hand up like a traffic cop motioning drivers to stop. The silver badge, stuck to her hand with blistered and pierced skin (she didn't feel any of it – numb to the core) and now streaked with her blood. "This badge..." Katie closed her eyes and turned her gaze inward. The history of the badge flowed right through her, pouring out of her mouth like a river of words. Some of the knowledge she had pieced together over the last few days but the rest... that was coming from somewhere new entirely. "The first trophy you took from the first man you murdered. Henry Lawson. You wanted to be sheriff in your town but you were evil even then. so you killed the true man – the true son of the law – and took his badge and his place. Those who defied you joined him in his grave of sand. All while wearing this shield. The blood of each and every one of them stained the silver. Their blood, their fear, a piece of their broken souls. And silver shall reflect."

"That's mine. Give it back to me."

"This? You want a badge that's been spelled by the Keepers? All the lives you took inside it. Don't think it'll fill you with warm fluffies, but... what the hell." She reversed her grip and flung the badge towards him like a frisbee, points of the star flicking drops of her blood to the floor and whirling lethally through the air. At this point, Katie actually wanted one of the points to lodge in his forehead or pop an eyeball. But he snatched it out of the air, there was a spark of something so brief she couldn't even identify a colour and then nothing but a low hum.

He lifted his head with a snarl curling his thin lips. "Looks like it didn't work."

"Shit." Katie whispered a curse, certain that the fake-sheriff could hear anyway. "I hoped it would work."

"Let me explain, little girl."

"Do you have to?"

"They're still scared of me. Just like you are now. And fear... forget what you hear in the stories. Fear makes you weak."

He's right. It makes me weak enough.

All in one frightening moment Katie raised her arms, commanding the attention of the dozen or so people in the club, looked at a bank of twinkling lights which promptly blew out all together. A collective gasp ran through the room. She turned ti each wall and each spread of fairy lights went dark until there was only a smattering of green and blue dots overhead. Katie raised her hands above her head, palms up, and they exploded in a shower of coloured glass and golden sparks, sinking everything and everyone into absolute darkness.

"Let's dance."

"I'll lead."

"Don't think so. My idea, my song." And it was her song drifting around the club, coming through the speakers hidden in the walls. A haunting, daunting and dangerous thin tune. Pipes, strings, a thousand mournful voices. A song she had never heard before but one that sounded like the song of fire and grief and confusion that had been plaguing her all week. It signalled a change, a turn in her heart as humanity and love made way for pure fury and abandon. But the song was fragmented – split notes nobody else seemed to notice. Katie looked up, her tanned skin rippling with purple-black underneath and her eyes glittering so madly they would make the blind see. "Hope you know how to tango. This'll be over fast." But he was still faster. Katie saw it before anything else – a thin, cruel curve of red crackling through the darkness, arcing towards her and slicing a ruby after image of its course – she saw it happen in slow motion and she still could jump away in time. A thin leather whip slammed down on her shoulder. It felt like it was deep enough to chip bone but, after a short blast of agony, numbness spread over her left shoulder like the pooling of her blood.

The impact forced Katie to her knees, listening to sharp gasps and quickly-stifled screams all around her. _What are they all screaming for? I'm the one getting hurt._ She looked around her, trying to find familiar faces, but the club was so completely black it was impossible to see even her own hand before her face. The sounds were just enough for her to pick out roughly where people were standing though.

"Why's she burnt? It's just a badge."

"She put a spell on it."

"The girl does magic too? Shit."

"No. She didn't do it but... you can see it, right, Simma?"

"Sure. You mean you can't?"

"Nuh-uh. Can't see nothin'."

"Maybe it's not meant for people like you."

Leo. Jaye. Shimma. Two of them could see the spell. She hoped it meant it was working.

The whip crackled back to life but it simply hung in the air for a long minute. Emotions raced through her mind – anger, defeat, determination – but riding above them all was fear, abject terror. Not of dying, not of losing everyone she held close, not of _him_. Just of getting hit with that whip again. The things hidden in the darkness weren't half as scary as the one she could see arcing down. She turned her face away, predicting that the trajectory would slice off her nose. Leaning slightly to one side, the blade-sharp ribbon touching her cheek and lancing across her hamstring near her foot. _That'll put me out of action for a while,_ she thought abstractly. Breathless, Katie fell to her side, unable to silence the hiss that came out every time she used it to scramble away from the centre, the burning centre, of that red hate. She had gotten a bit turned around when she had fallen but when she felt the ridge between wooden floor and industrial carpet, Katie knew there was a loveseat straight ahead and collapsed against the back of it, shivering with shock and blood loss. "So," she chattered, willing her mind to focus. If she distracted herself far enough from the pain it would fade away. "Do I get to know your name?"

"You want small talk? Now?"

"You don't?"

"I want screaming!"

"Won't have to wait long. I'm bleeding out."

A quiet chuckle, louder than it had any right to be in the awe-struck hush.

"I can see how this might seem funny to you. You've been the big man, attacked a girl with your whip, brought her to the brink of begging, now you're waiting for her to give up, faint, just stop fighting so you can flay the skin off her body and carve away at bone and muscle until her blood is covering her hands, her soul yours to play with."

"You're the thing that goes bump in the night. The evil thing that gives the girl nightmares. You're feeding on her fear because you know that she might be better tan you... maybe good enough to beat you. Like she did last time."

No no no! This wasn't the plan. This was wrong. Katie willed her friends to shut up, tried to warn them that this could be very dangerous, and all the while knew it was no good.

"It doesn't matter that you can't see Katie. Does it? It matters that you know she's here and sooner or later, she'll make some noise – a scream or a smack as she collapses - to give her away. Then you'll go over and raise your fist and knock out a kid. And that's what grown men do."

She gave up listening to – Chris? – speak, stuck on one idea. She used one foot to kick her heel against the floor. "Over here, doofus!" she shouted, out of breath after three words. "Down here moron." Heeled boots clicked over the wooden floor but stopped metres away from her. Another voice from the circle had joined in.

"Where you going? What's so good about her anyway, when there's, like, ten of us just standing here like lemons. That could make a girl feel very insecure."

"There's no way you can hurt her. Not without going through all of us first."

Oh God. They were all willing to die for her.

Then two voices she hadn't expected to hear chimed in, speaking as one. "And we're looking after her. If she dies, her parents will kill us so if you're dead set on this, kill us first. Nobody knows why you hurt people, nobody much cares but if true darkness can't get this one, you sure as hell can't."

Did they think she could still be saved? That there was still something left. More voices said their piece – some just a few words, some a speech Shakespeare would have envied. After a few seconds of nothing, Katie figured the ring of people had come to an end. All these people willing to risk everything for her. They all believed she could still win this fight. She sent out her thanks in one mental blast she wasn't sure any of them would feel. Maybe her mental speech only existed with Jack and no-one else- Jack who she loved, Jack who made the world that bit nicer, Jack who was very far away and was still breaking her heart. She felt warm tears tracking down her cheeks, looked down to see the faintest silver glitter on her skin.

"One question. Does it hurt yet?"

Katie made a conscious decision to shut out pain. Her ankle _didn't_ hurt when she walked on it. Her face _didn't_ feel as though it was cracking with every twitch. Nor was her injured hand probably never going to be usable again.

"You what?"

"Well, you saw what it did to my hand when I held it. I hate to think what it's doing to you."

"What you talking about?"

"Guys?" she prompted the silent club, not even positivethey were all still there."

Jaye answered. "It's got a Keeper spell on it."

"I can't see what it's doing to you-"

"It's a spell of light," Shimma chipped in. "They trap a section of light in an object. Blood releases it."

"What he said."

"It burns whatever darkness if touches. Katie burnt her hand because she has a lot of darkness inside her. But not her own, I don't think." His voice took on a thoughtful, distant quality and then he snapped back into the moment. "But you... you're _made_ of darkness. It must be having a feast on you."

Oh. She hadn't been expecting that. Nobody had. More gasps circled the club and somebody fell to the ground.

"Giving you an ouchie?"

"What have you done to me, you stupid little girl?"

"I wasn't sure it would work. They wouldn't tell me exactly what the spell would do. Said there would be pain but it's actually killing you. Which is kinda beautiful, in its' way." And that was the point. Katie didn't say _kinda_ ; never turned her words into slang or rounded off their ends. The strictest English teacher in the history of Arthur Claymore High – maybe the history of all schools, ever – had seen to that. Katie was no longer Katie, a pained and terrified girl – she was Jaye and Adam and Chris and Lainy and anyone else who was hiding in the darkness. But this fake sheriff didn't know that. He still thought he was in charge, had her beaten. "Shall I tell you how I figured you out? Why I was even the slightest bit prepared for this? No? Oh, diddums. I'm gonna anyway." With some huffing and puffing, Katie pulled herself onto the dancefloor and got to slightly unsteady feet. She stood up and threw her hands out at her sides, hoping she was in the right place. "Hands!" A hand on either side of her worked their fingers into hers and she felt the others join hands too like a tiny electrical jolt running through them all and into her. She started speaking as this went one. "I knew you weren't who you said you were from the start. I didn't _know_ know but there was something off about you. And then you murdered Mademoiselle Romani with the same strokes you killed Jack with... some serial killer thing maybe? OCD? Did you kill them all in exactly the same way." _Get back on track, girl!_ "I digress. You seemed less than surprised that Jack was missing which probably means you already know. And you didn't need much convincing to step into my dreams and _help_. You saw me dark and weak and helpless and you thought this was your chance."

"What are you saying? You knew the whole while? I believe that like I believe in unicorns and castles in the clouds."

Shimma tightened his grip, directly to the left. Katie squeezed back, not quite sure of the reaction, but knowing it was the right thing to do. "I gave my friends specific instructions to talk to you and nobody else but I knew they couldn't keep that promise – thought telling people might protect me. They can't save me from everything though, and I'd like to choose for myself whether to be part of this crazy shit or not. When this is over, I'm done, I know that much. Definitely signing for the 'too young to die' school. I even knew they'd follow me here after I said it'd be dangerous. I never expected this though, never even hoped they'd try to help. An now –" She felt a constant vibration through the joined hands. It was almost a flow of electricity into her body and suddenly it was as if she had opened her eyes on a room blazing with light and shade. Her friends were still staring blankly ahead, still coccooned in the tranquil black. But the man clutching a silver badge in one hand and a thin whip in the other was stooped over as though winded, but glaring spears of hate at her. "I am all of them."

Thank you.

She sent the message out with her mind, knowing few, if any of them, would hear it. Eyelids flickered all around her. She was wrong again then.

"You think you can beat me? You reckon I'll leave enough of you left to even make decent worm food?"

_You moron. That thing's gonna eat you alive if you keep holdin' it._ A chuckle – Leo, she thought.

"You called me a murderer before." Katie shrugged, her soft eyes locked with his angry ones and fixed liked they were the only two people in the world. "Never was. Now, I wanna know how it feels."

The snigger rippled around the room until everybody – even Katie – was giggling quietly at something. The angry man looked wildly around him, eyes flashing in bright confusion. He roared in his raged, wheeled back to Katie and flicked his whip at her. It sliced deep into her right arm. It was a gash about an inch long. Immediately blood raced to the surface and started to spill over the ripped skin. There was no part of her that wasn't streaked with blood, that would require the mere hell of TCP to heal. _Can you heal a black soul with antiseptic? Bandage a broken heart?_ Then can the dark drip of blood onto the floor. So much blood, so much life, all around her and beginning to glow in that way of a lightbulb under layers and layers of fabric. Faint but too strong to be snuffed out.

"Shut it, god dammit!" he bellowed.

But Katie just laughed. Laughed even as he raised his whip once more. "oh, you idiot! Don't you get it? Blood releases the magic." He just glared at her, whipped raised but frozen in the air. "The more blood you spill, the worse you hurt. I honestly thought I'd have to bleed out but hey... it never specified _my_ blood."

"You bit-"

But he never got to finish the word. Leo cut him off.

"And she's our bitch. Seriously mad bitch, but still ours."

And then the angry man was slumped on the floor, trying to frantically shake his hand loose of the silver badge which now shone so silver hot it had melted into his skin. "You can't kill me. Not like this. Not now."

"Pretty sure I can. And I should. Yeah, I think I will."

Katie loosed her hands and walked towards him, crouching down by his face. death was like a shadow hanging over the entire room. She looked down at him, blanking her face and eyes. The humanity still fighting a losing battle inside her was unhelpful now. Emotions would pull at her, give her pause and this man some chance some chance to worm his way out. _Or man this worm out._ She barked a laugh but it was gone just as quickly. With features of marble and a heart as tough as stone, Katie glanced into his angry eyes fully expecting her defences to be battered by looks of fear and remorse. Maybe a silent plea for forgiveness. There was none of that. a flash of something and then it morphed, hardened into an evil he hadn't even been close to before.

"Because you'll never find Jack."

It was his secret weapon, his last resort, but was it good enough? An ache suddenly sprang up in her gut. It felt like a lifetime ago that she had last seen Jack, last touched him, last believed they would last forever. And they couldn't even survive 'I love you'. Was that even worth saving? Should she really let this hateful creature live to tell her where to find Jack just to have him leave her all over again? If he was even telling the truth. "I don't believe you."

"No?"

"Oh, I believe you took him. Him vanishing was a bit too convenient. I just don't think you'd ever tell me."

"He's been calling your name for three days. I'm surprised you can't hear him."

"Well, he's hardly going to call yours." Katie rose to her feet again, more unsteady now. The blood loss was getting to her. She reached down and took the whip from him and he didn't try to hang on to it. Didn't have the energy. A thought raced through the room, her friends having the same thought as her at the same moment. Not even words. Just an image and the absolute knowledge that it was the right thing to do. The knowledge was that the blood of the badge holder started the spell and it would end it. The picture was Katie, looking fierce and magical, arcing the thin leather lace down towards the chest of the man on the floor. His eyes were wide and he threw his hands up as if it would help. But he knew it was coming just like Katie knew it. She cracked the whip down with all the strength she could find – not much with her own cuts –and the world bloomed with red.

She stumbled back and found herself greeting the floor with her bum. "Oof!" Then the world flared white and black and every colour she could think of. So vivid. They called to her. _Sang._ She could make out the real world under the colours, the blood swirling together and pooling in the centre of the dancefloor. Then everyone left – Marcie, Jaye, Adam, everybody but Shimma. Then more people came and a woman wearing a black shirt with SHIMMA embroidered at the neck began mopping up the blood with a shake of her head. Music she couldn't hear over the singing of the colours – the wistful/wishing _singing_ – but could see as whispers of aqua sound waves started flowing. More people, hundreds of them moving in and out of her fixed frame of vision, hundreds of them dancing to the music she couldn't hear. A man came and stood right in front of her and started swaying in front of her. He was dancing with her, she realised, and bit her lip, not wanting to dance too because her foot – oh it _hurt_! Katie was wondering what to do, was just about to speak – couldn't he see all the blood? Did he think she was dancing fit? – when the question was taken out of her hands by another dancing through her. Not around her or jostling her on the way past, but literally right through her. What was that all about? Another question to puzzle out as she watched colours fade in and out, calling to her, calling her name, and the scene changed again. She was still stuck in the same place – couldn't move, didn't want to move – the people were all gone and Shimma was kneeling on the ground a few feet away and tracing his fingers through a faint bloodstain that glowed hot purple-black. Katie reached out and touched a hand to his shoulder. Her skin was touching him it was plain to see, but there was no feeling of contact. He didn't even seem to notice her. Did not seem to notice the colours, the singing, none of it. There was a slight pressure on her head. It was the centre of her forehead where Jaye had shot her with a ghost bullet the month before. Why did she suddenly relate that to Jaye? The strobing colours were giving her a headache and then she was flying, falling, and only the colours would catch her. The pressure fell from her head to her lips but it was all too late. She was diving downwards, a force nothing could halt even for a moment.

Where is this?

Katie had the feeling she had been here before. Fragmented rainbows and swirling mists filled the air. It was tempting to stop and breathe in what she knew would be their sweet and clean scent. There was no time for that. She knew it like she knew two twos were four. It was just a fact she couldn't argue.

She kept limping forward; she ached all over, blood covered every strip of her clothing, the little that was still rushing through her veins felt like liquid ice and a soul deep chill was setting in. This was no time to be surrendering to the constant shivers. Forward. That was where she had to go. Forward. And still she had that falling feeling. The butterflies (bats) in the stomach, the heart in her mouth. Why was she falling? Had she been pushed? Had she jumped? Where from? How long would she be a plaything for gravity when would she hit the ground? Was there any ground to hit? Or would she be caught like this – plummeting through fog and shadow forever and ever? How many pieces of her would be left when she was done?

Fight.

She kept stumbling forward. Nothing mattered. The angry man was dead, she had given herself over to the darkness to do it. Given so much that the darkness had taken it all... and now it wanted the rest of her. Not that there was much left.

More than you think. You can't give it up.

And then she saw it. A clear bubble, shining its many pearly colours in the light. She hurried over to it, somehow disappointed to find it empty. It shouldn't be empty... something should be inside.

"You mustn't stay here," a young voice warned. A dark shadow emerged from behind a rock off to her left. It belonged to a little boy of perhaps ten years old with dark curls and eyes like space.

"Am I in danger?"

"Yes. If you don't leave now, you'll be trapped here. Like me."

"But yours not in the bubble any more," she said, remembering what should be in the bubble. The boy, he had been in there before. And now he wasn't.

"No, I'm not in there now. You freed me." He rolled up a grubby shirt sleeve and held his right arm out. There was a thin silver-pink scar about an inch long running down it. Realisation hit Katie like a brick. It kept coming at her but the boy held her gaze. "But it doesn't mean I'm not trapped."

"You needed to save somebody. Oh, Leo, what made you think that?"

He just shook his head.

"What am I in danger from?"

"Please, just go, before it's too late."

"I can feel something in me. It's taking me over. I'm almost gone."

"Before it's too late," he insisted, pushing Katie away with the little strength e had.

# Chapter sixteen

I'm too late.

Everything... it's all too late.

The words kept repeating themselves is her mind, haunting Katie long after she had opened her eyes on a pale grey wall with one harsh white strip light in the middle. So... hang on. What kind of wall had a light on it? She curled a stiff finger, making sure her muscles were still working, and the sudden pull of gravity told her she was staring up at a ceiling. Her neck was stiff to move. Craning her eyes around the parts of the room she could see showed she was alone in a room that felt cold and empty. And she hurt, it came on all at once – stinging slashes along her arms and legs – and her lungs felt as though they were in the middle of collapse. There wasn't enough oxygen, it seemed, to inflate her organs. And then there was the new feeling of knowing gasping herself into hyperventilation was pointless. Strips of gauze itched the skin of her left hand and Katie struggled to sit up to rip it off. Pink healing skin threatened to rip apart and the cold rushed to meet her. _Damn, what the hell happened to pain relief? And where is everybody._ The unearthly quiet, the stink of cleaning fluid and antiseptic, the clinical feel of this room, all indicated she was in the hospital. Her friends should be here fussing around her bedside. So where were they? Suddenly finding them was more important than lying on this uncomfortably hard and cold bed without even a sheet to protect her. Her feet landed on the frigid tiles and she glanced around for the door. Nothing else in the room interested her; just the solid door with a button on the frame you had to push to get the door open.

She had just raised her hand to push the button when it swung open and a man in a white lab coat scampered through, head down, and headed towards the bed she had just vacated. Only, it didn't feel much like a regular bed in a regular room. It felt like...

No, that was ridiculous.

She slid through the closing door and could see a gang of her friends sitting together on some plastic chairs at the end of the short corridor. Katie started walking towards them, waving. "Hey guys." Jaye was sitting on the chair nearest the open door, looking longingly out every few minutes. Marcie was kneeling on the floor in front of Adam who was in another chair. Dina was sitting beside him, half dozing on his shoulder but starting herself awake every few seconds like she was afraid to let herself sleep. She thought she saw a flicker of something near the window but no amount of blinking or squinting could bring it into focus.

"We'll have to tell her parents."

"Whose parents? Tell them what?" But Katie had a feeling she knew.

"What are we meant to say? Hi Mr and Mrs C. Sorry, but your daughter's dead. Love ya!"

"We've got to tell them soon"

"They won't be expecting her to call for ages. We can wait a while."

"What for? It won't get any easier."

"Guys. I'm right here," but nobody heard her. Far from making her pissed off and confused, the ignorance only made everything clearer.

At that second, Jaye looked right at her. Locked eyes with Katie, seeming to see her when no-one else did.

Because she's dead too. She understands.

And then Jaye dragged her gaze away and got to her feet, touching Marcie on the shoulder. The older woman turned her face up and Katie noticed how her eyes matched all of the others – shiny with unshed tears, red raw with the fallen and shadowed. "I – I need some air," she said and waved vaguely at the door.

Katie followed Jaye through the corridor towards a side exit in silence. Neither of them knew what to say. She glanced over her shoulder at the shrinking people in the corridor. They needed to know she was okay, she was safe. For one heart breaking instant, re-assuring them was the most important thing in the world. Nobody deserved to feel so empty or so guilty. _It's not your fault. Don't blame yourselves._ But no-one answered. She felt hot tears burning the back of her eyes and her throat begin to close up. Once outside and settled in a corner of the medical centre grounds, Jaye broke the silence. Sort of.

You know what happened to you?

I think so. I died. Didn't I?

We tried to bring you back but you kept pushing us all away. There were things you needed to do.

There were?

You don't remember. It'll come back to you. You've only just woken up.

I lost.

Jaye laid her hand over hers. For the first time in... how long... she was touching something real. _No, you won Katie. You killed that man and you fought the darkness. I can see it in you now, you're light again. Absolutely pure and good._

_The spell._ Katie held her hand out and flexed her fingers around the raw tissue. _It burnt the darkness out of me.. it was gone by the time i got to the club. I just remembered it well enough to pretend it still owned me._

But that means you killed him in cold blood?

There was a pause as the idea sank in. Somehow, Katie thought it was worth risking her innocence for.

I remember the dreams. The ones where the zombies were trying to get me. And then I let them. And my family were there and I couldn't save them. Jaye, what were my parents doing in my nightmare?

I don't know. I don't know the first thing about dreams. But... maybe it's 'cos you're always thinking of them. You're always trying to protect them from the monsters.

That's why I couldn't touch them. I can't save them like this.

The telepathic messages between them died out for a few minutes. Katie lifted a hand and looked at it wonderingly. She wasn't solid like any of the others. She was real enough that she could see her own body, her bloody hospital gown and bare feet. But she was, at the same time, transparent enough that she could see the trees swaying and people walking or cycling past through her own hands. And questions came as she stared and enjoyed this new peace. How was she going to find Jack? Did dying mean she could have this inner quiet forever now? What about school and running? Could she ever see her parents and sister again? But the concerns seemed very distant. Not insignificant or irrelevant. Just... not urgent.

But one question was shouting... demanding to be asked.

_Jaye, how do I do this? How do I_ be _dead?_
About the author

Wendy Maddocks lives in Birmingham, England, with her slightly crazy family. She blames them for her twisted imagination. Sanity is not her friend. She enjoys reading and studying, working out and eating cake, which makes her fat and in need of yet another gym session. (Yes, I'm a masochist!) She also has a fear thing about sheep. After graduating from university, Wendy began publishing her own work online and is always working on new writing projects. What will happen when she runs out of ideas?

No, let's not wonder that.

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