Hello everyone
Open on today's show we're gonna be talking about
It's one of our guests twitch streaming
surprise guests
If your career has ever gotten in the way of your dating life
And then a question from our box of issues still another week not provided by the our team
I'm your host Barbara Dunkleman and with me today I have
Tyler cope
Mia Khalifa
And it's me your friendly oh no no our special guest friendly neighborhood disaster faster today
This is a disaster all the time you're a walking disaster. I really am in like emotional and physical and everything like that
I'm shooting disaster fully-functioning disaster
I should put that on my resume I aim to be oh you're the opposite of disaster me
We have Mia Khalifa with hey guys this awesome lovely
So lovely thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. We like to surprise our guests by introducing the
Chefs it's like okay, it's gonna. Go me
Yeah, I forgot to tell you this our fall. I like it
It's my well
Then it's funny because then I have to follow up cuz usually we have if we have special guests
We set them here, and then I'm it's like it yeah, and it's like this big exciting moment and then and then it's just me
Every week, that's your bitch
All right guys let's do a shot
This one actually is provided by our very own Texas yes, mr., Texas
Who we love someone and it's called the Texas Peach, and what did you say?
It's it's fuzzy, and it's it's fuzzy and sweet like me buzz
We're gonna do it all together been described that way before as well oh
Yeah, dude
That's that's Texas shot tastes like, Texas
Huh I mean, I don't know I'm just saying like the state his name is - stay - I've never done
whatever
Differ bit even if I did whatever oh man love is love love is love. That's right. I'm not gonna judge
It all feels good yeah
See you in if it's it in your own mouth Tyler. Go that's right
I almost want to let this play out and not get to the first segment just see what happens
All right well
What do you want me to talk about we're gonna start off to this fuzzy navel his fuzzy navel
You got a yeah is it I kind of I feel weird cuz I'll shave the nethers but
Completely shave oh my goodness get that bowl. Yeah. Oh, that's not a so that's oil I
Was cooking a steak
So I was cooking a steak, I'll make this short, I was cooking a steak naked
Which is everybody fuckin thinks that's so weird to cook a steak naked
No, it's just me it was just me and my Alexa
and I might have been a little whiskey drunk whatever and like you know I'm cooking a steak naked and I flipped the steak and
Oil just right there it you know didn't hurt most everything's fine
Just got me on my right side so like here down in this scenario. I'm imagining him with just an apron covering Oh
full erection
That's when you get the erection I did not have I was flaccid at the time oh, thank god
it probably would have you know like a mastiff like it would have caught all the
The oil and it's just what I would have had a spotted dick. I think the worst
That's ever happened to me with oil is it splashed up
And my goggles protected it it went right there would run right in my retinas
No joke man, that's why they invented aprons yeah, and clothes. I should get one of those
Also, isn't spotted dick like a type of dessert. I thought it was a disease. It's really both
It could be but probably both. How you can originate it if you have spots on your dick. You should get that
Shock all right. Well. We're gonna start off with a little game. We call cupidity
I don't know if you've ever played this
This is what we've done. We want to OkCupid the very popular dating website
And we've taken the questions that they use when people create their dating profile
And we've just taken a bunch of them and we're gonna ask you guys the questions all right
I'd be quick and go is leaving your mark on the world important to you
Yes, if you're performing oral sex on a partner who accidentally farted? How would you react?
That's happened to him before it has you just go up for air and go back down
Okay, are you with are you the person you want to be right now? Oh?
God, I don't know if that's a loaded question. I hope not but maybe
Would you which would you finish it finish it? Which would you rather win Nobel Prize Oscar Super Bowl or lottery?
Oscars what?
Do you think so you're the you're the resident sports girl? I am I am. I don't wanna win the Super Bowl
It's too tiny to play. I don't want CTE. I want to get an Oscar
No
But do you actually have to work for it
Or do I just get the ring do you just get the ring I could be like you know I could be Belichick or some
Shit like that. I don't wanna be him
I would choose a lottery I would fucking choose a lottery to give me that money
I don't need money money doesn't make you happy you can't take that shit with you to heaven no
but you can build a big house to live here while you're
Only a big house you can pay people to make you happy. No. It does money does may it make life better
it erases most of life's problems like it's crazy to act like it doesn't but it will not make you you know a
Rich person money doesn't buy happiness
It's true
But it does make a lot of your problems easier less cocaine is your favorite thing and then it definitely makes you happy yeah
True then you could buy all the cocaine in the world because we do not recommend drugs on the show
Please stay off drugs stay in school. All right through the drugs try them with me and share them with friends
There you go sharing up here all right Mia. You're up. You ready
yes, are they the same question questions alright ready with the timer and
Go do you think someone's choice of footwear can really say a lot about them. Yes, how come home?
You come home and discover that someone's broken into your house, and they're still inside. What do you do?
I run, would you ever consider hiring a detective to find out if someone is cheating on you yes?
What do you think of straight man and a straight woman can truly be just friends?
Yes, could you date someone who was very funny, but could never take anything seriously?
Yes, would you feel uncomfortable if a pet watching masturbate?
Your dog
I
Would feel so uncomfortable
Just sit there and stare at me yeah, this stare mine, just like goes away
She knows one of them used to like come and investigate and I started like
There are there have been times where I've been with a guy
Who's had a dog and he didn't close the door properly and the dog has come in and gotten involved I?
Guess it's like like you get over the first time like the first time whatever. It's like
You're watching you have sex and masturbate, but then you just get used to it. Do they watch you poop - I
Don't do that
No girl well we just we discussed this on the first episode of always open
What we do is we draw pictures of poo and then flush it down the toilet
Mmm. That's what it is. That's why it takes a long. It's just my second complain machine. That's all that comes out of there
Well it's funny because yeah, you don't have any animals, but I don't I there's been times where all of it will scare you
As you're using your woman now Oliver a cat or dog Oliver's a dog, okay good
He's my girlfriend's dog, but sometimes these things that stays with me and hangs out
We've discovered before the show that Mia is not a fan of cats yeah, no cats no cats no cat zone
So you guys have Kaz at home get fucked yeah listen if you have a cat just
With that like that's actually like a dating requirement for me
It's like cat vegan and then a bunch of other shit vegan can't even do I won't even get a vegetarian
Your meat, but you won't eat mine
Favorite person, thank you, no cats no no vegetarians. No way yeah deal-breaker if you have a cat, or you're a vegetarian we still
Don't want to hang out with you dunfin don't talk to this 30 yards away. Please just don't a date. Yeah
Yes, all right Muriel yes
My real Mexican babushka, that's me. We're ready with the timer. Oh, did you hear that neck pop it was
All right Muriel ready yes
And go if you had to name as many famous
Scientists as you could remember and as many famous writers as you can remember which list would be longer writers first eat do you offer?
Do you often consider it sorry? Do you often find yourself doing things just?
Just to say you did them no
I mean everything with a purpose Barbara
Would you prefer good things happen or interesting things good things?
When you are feeling down and blue which is most comforting for you food sex exercise music Oh
Food sex exercise music in that order in that
I do love a good steak. Good steak will cheer me up. What say hey, you know what you come in my
Come to my place hello you do you get a bunch of meat
Yeah, show ya show entertainer and a show there was you go to the hospital afterwards yes
I someone said something very interesting to me lately it was about music where when you're feeling happy you listen to the beat
But when you're feeling sad you listen to the looneys
BPM they have the action of a station on Sirius XM that's like that it puts you in a good mood because it
the beat of the music
Mimics the beat of a heartbeat when you're happy interesting yeah, it's like 121 beats per minute or something, huh?
God you were the girl who made the backhand shot on Edwards Instagram nothing but
I don't know sherry. I like how you remember that all
I'm gonna tell you something y'all. Are you know?
We have met before and you I'm gonna describe the situation and see if he remember you no no no no okay
It wasn't no it was it was um so ed we both
Have a mutual friend who works here at roosterteeth who used to work at the chalk yes
He's my employee, but he works for Barbara, so we're all connected in some way
Everybody's just here don't talk don't say good thing that little angel hate him
But Edward and I had like we've been really good friends since we went to college together
we've kind of like grown up in our young adult life together, but
You I guess it was. I think you were freshly here in Austin and we all went out to sick Street
And you met up with our group because our friend Ethan it was his birthday. That wasn't even when I lived here
That was when I came to visit here the first time ever and then I decided to move here
Oh, I didn't. It was to Billy Joel David his girlfriend song
But but funny story was that like that was his dream. He was just like I were there and that's what he wanted to do
In front of like at least 100 people yes, too old dirty sick which Billy Joel song uh
Vienna mate remember it wasn't piano, man. Yeah, cuz he had already played that like four times
No, it was
And putting on yeah, it's okay. I don't love Billy Joel but
So I we're doing like a pub crawl for Ethan's yeah
He's wearing a sash and every I still have that picture yeah by hugging yeah
And I have a picture of you me and my girlfriend from that night, which is like we you know to post that
You find it when I see that picture don't judge me because I had I had been in Texas for about twelve hours
And I was just so happy to be back here. I made them take me to Allen food
I got my I got cut off. I had like my type playing all I had and everything that night
I'm sure you'll make giant Texas belt buckle. It was it was amazing. It's great. I still don't have proper care
I was so drunk. That's what I don't know. I mean it was also like you know just like oh yeah
I'm happy dance of course um but yes
That was me and I have no athletic AIDS off ball in high school because obviously obviously but and I'm pretty decent at it
What are you trying to say? I have a big a
But yeah, we were shooting that
That is he ed were just like hey like come and we're gonna
He was like we're just gonna throw some like shots behind your head at a basketball
We could wearing like the new you Russia future nothing, but net literally I said nothing
But net and I threw it over my head and it fucking made it and we lost our shit
He held no outs of that so the plan for that was that he was gonna get you doing that and obviously you weren't gonna
Make it in and he was gonna do some like shitty like clearly the best ball being held by someone like going yeah
and he's like what she made I made it and we both like we're just are lots of shit because they were the best because
She didn't know that she had made it until he was like oh my god. Oh my god. She turns around just starts like
Yeah
Yeah, what if it are I wish I would have like kept takobi like
Yeah, but cool guys. Don't look back at explosions. That's true
Yes sure, but yeah
I actually had people cuz I posted it on my Instagram and a lot of people were like let's fake
No, I swear to God like it wasn't fake. I mean is that enthusiasm I know not even that not even happy
Yeah, cuz the ball goes out of the shot. It goes over like arches, but her enthusiasm you can't
It was good anyway, so that's me and Mia catching up gotcha you guys do your own show? What are you about here? Oh?
I could never host this show cuz I would just be like so I don't fucking care all right Barbara
All right, are you ready with my timer I?
Got a thumbs up all right and go if the technology to freeze your age, and not get any older was available
But the trade-off was that you had to act that way forever which aid would you stop at?
25 which of these is your most frequent partner in sexual fantasies people you're currently obsessed or in love with people you've had sex with
But don't know what a celebrity or a completely made-up fantasy person the first one guys who you're currently yeah
Do you believe that aliens exist yes, if you were to die if you're about to die what would you wanna do with your money?
Donated to Mariel don't ya probably give it to my family and friends her eyes got so much no week the sheep
She's a conspiracy theorist I saw her eyes gay
I have all like the tinfoil yeah
Well, it would make sense no aliens absolutely we talked about this on a pre
completely agree no
Yeah, there's no way
There's very only like yeah in this entire universe absolutely the impossibility would be that we think we are I don't know exactly but ghosts
I want to know about did you guys alternate universe?
Like I question that like do we have are there alternate timelines where there's like a hundred tire Tyler's
You know me Muriel's and Barbara's that are like living different lives. Oh, I want to know that I
Love like am I the best out of me
No, I definitely
I went to go visit the other reason I found out that this Tyler is the best one I'd be very sad what?
Answer or like you know what is all Tyler doing
God, I hope something more than this
Like doing something like you don't be in a doctor saving lives or maybe he's like a shitty person yeah
Yeah, this is this version, but maybe he's like you know like a murderer or like maybe there's one here
It's like Jennifer Lawrence
Doesn't cool, but she treats me like shit, and I'm really sad I feel like she would anyway, yeah
Seems like she wears the pants
And she seems bosses like she's looking for like she's priority over you you were dating
Yeah, like that one celebrity I would want to be friends with really
friends I
Think like the hype with jail ah I'm it's like over for me. I was never on the JLo horse. Yeah
That horse for a second. I'm sure she would you call it silver linings shoes like yeah silver linings is great a
Bone what's it called a Winter's Bone? She fuckin amazing movie? Yeah, I didn't see that movie
It's great Mosely try to cry sheepy sheepy go watch it well
I have no a good way to transition into this, but thank you lift
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Thank you for getting me here. Yeah
Closed, but I used to work for one. Did you really which one?
Perfect 1000 K in Dallas oh, it's off the highway
It's so gross aren't most of them off the highway like yeah, Yellow
Rose is like all arose better kind of go toe laws the elder yeah
but yeah
She said she tore her ACL doing part court at Yellow Rose does it open stage night or something no
Like a barrier. No I always would like some stunt double friends, and they were like doing cool part crochet
And I was like I wasn't drunk, and I think I want to get cool parkour shit, would you take us through?
Back there's like which one yellow rose. Oh, there's a little combine smoking yeah
Yeah, yeah the dungeon no exactly so I went like running at this like kind of ledge
Not really like it looks like there used to be a parking lot there
And it's a bumper so that cars can't go over
oh, yeah, so I jump off of that and then I tried to like jump onto one of the walls and
Didn't work when I landed. I just fell
Stayed on the ground for like a good five minutes, and then got up and asked for another drink
But my friends made me go to the hospital and you found like a torn ACL. Yeah Wow
Yeah
That's parkour
That should be the title this episode. Thank you there yeah, that's a tongue twister alright. Well ma'am. Oh, my talk about your twitch streaming
Because we at roosterteeth are very familiar with twitch and streaming and video games and all that stuff, but you recently
Yes, very recently I would say mid-june as then I started got interesting. Yeah, it's been so much fun
Yeah, yeah the whole community has been very supportive and helpful
And everybody's been offering advice on like how to read the chat and how to keep up with everything and it's a really really nice
community of
people who want to help each other
That's the only thing I hear about twitch is that everyone who's like part of the twitch community. Yeah, like the nicest group
Yeah, yeah
We really are like they just want to help you and they just want to make they don't see you as competition
They see you as oh
You are gonna make twitch better, and you're gonna open twitch up to more people yeah, they're very welcoming of new streamers
Have you always been a gamer? No I wouldn't say I'm a gamer
I've there are video games that I've played I don't go out of my way to like try new ones
I played I played halo
I played destiny World of Warcraft, just like my main one that I've been playing that since high school you ever do diablo
No, so that was all very similar to Warcraft though
And I feel like no anyone who plays World of Warcraft doesn't play Diablo Diablo doesn't play well
Yeah, it's just like Coke Pepsi or left-right-left wigs my tricks. Yeah, I never got that thing
Oh, it's like a mime electric for sure wait Sears. Don't eat the right one. No. I throw it away
It's pressure to hang out with me more often so I could eat your other
I never if you love Twix do and I like to I don't just bite into it
I peel the caramel off and then oh my gosh you. Have a whole method. Yeah. I have a method with
with fortune cookies
So I break it in half, and then the half that the fortune is stuck in I'll take the fortune out
I'll read it. Oh no I eat the other the first half, but before that sounds very standard yes
Yeah, I take it out
I eat the half that the fortune is stuck in and if I like the fortune then I'll eat the other half if I don't
Believe it a lot of self-control teach me your ways. No. I'll eat the cookie regardless to eat your food altogether
Mush it up like when are you my food like if I had?
Steak potatoes and green beans I eat one thing before I move on to another thing
I have a friend who did this in high school?
We all went to get McDonald's and you get the drink the fries and a burger or whatever
He would eat the burger finish it eat all the fries finish it and then drink his whole drink
I do the same thing I'll have a glass of milk, and I won't drink my glass of milk or
Such a white person thing by the way
I drink milk with everything, so what do you do? I don't know. It's just like it's like a neurotic no
It's like I mean. She's seen me I eat like a fucking you had man
You can't go out with Tyler and eat around this all the nails he eats. Oh, we need to hang out more Tyler
Oh, yeah, yeah, I look forward to cuz I finished first and then I've advised starett
Marry you literally will sit there, and hope I just look like a dog like you know like we at the table
I'm like I just waiting for her to finish
It's not even like wherever one time we went to snooze, and I had like an omelet place
and you had like
Pancakes in an omelet and like all these other things and I you ate all of it before I could even get like four bites
In the mind, and then you just stop staring, are you single?
Me Meryl even just yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. That'd be cool. I do like watching
I
like watching you
You just do you just play cuz on Twitch you can do all sorts of things no
I don't know video games
And it's been so like my favorite video game of all time is actually one that I just played recently it was called until dawn
Yeah, and right now. I'm playing you put that with that word
Yeah, what made you want to start doing that cuz that's like a big departure it is I've had my friend Jeff in my ear
Ever since I moved to Austin say you should get a twitch channel
He should start like twitch streaming
And I don't think I was mentally ready to take it on until very recently and gotcha he does twitch streams as well for
His company, and he also does them like on his own and so
He was a huge help. That's not too it
It's always nice having that person who knows a lot about those things and could just not just that do it
He sets up my equipment. Yeah, there you go there. You go get yourself a Jeff yeah, you're
a
Texan and it's okay Jeff will set you up, Texas will make it pretty to do it exactly yeah
Thank you so much Anke the drunk okay me give me that lemon you know I want that. I just you know
I'll take that later. I'll take it a little snack later
I'll get to it
You do this Mary will eat a whole lemon with salt on it the best snack ting
She's like me fucking weird no
That's very foreign of you for it is why I met my grandma love about your grandma a good people good
Yeah
I were so
What you separated us yeah, there's actually what they do it, it's for the lighting actually
if you guys were twitch streamers
What would you stream sure yeah you can you can you can do game drum you can also do other things?
Oh, I streamed from the mall before like trying to find a dress for an event that I had that night. Yeah
And I think they twitch recently started like a whole like lifestyle. Yeah, it's called IRL
That's what IRL and what I do my cooking streams
And I think I prefer to do stuff like that like cooking or crafting or something like that so fun because I I?
Played video games before I'm not a big gamer and everyone knows
I'm not a gamer, and I feel like I would just be kind of like
Faking it
Like I'm sure I could find something I actually like to play you had wanna stream, but I just I think I would have to
Really learn how to play a game and talk at the same time cuz I'm a very
One focused type of person where I'm like I can't concentrate on two things at once like reading a chat and playing something
I just be like ignoring them the whole it's very hard. Yeah, it's it's very hard
I I still don't have it done like I still have
Jeff there to read the chat to me while I'm playing while I'm cooking and stuff get yourself a job
What would you play what do you think I do I'm gonna stick with the same well
I think that you and I would do the same thing we're just grill steaks
Oh, yeah, I mean I would love to just do a show with you where we just cook us we love do I make it
I'm about to get do it my whole life is surrounded this
But I'm about to get a big green egg a grill. You know the ceramic grills. You come over. What gross mistakes my god
We're just totally just doings I cook mingling. Oh, so do I is the Yellowbird sauces I use
Franks
That's what most yeah like I'll use hotter sandy. I like it really spicy, but like here's this yes welcome
Well grill some will grow some wings Barbara will come eat them there we go boom there
We go everybody - yes. Everybody. It'll be me over just Tyler. Yes, okay. Oh my gosh. I like the line
Like that yes, I'll bring you an apron. Yes, please do yeah, I will wear my clothes, but it's just a dick apron
Elephant it's
Very small what is your choice channel, so people could its twitch.tv. Slash Mia Khalifa, okay?
Yeah, we'll put it in the description too awesome. I wanna give you a little plug there
Well, let's move on to our ask us anything question this one comes to us from Ross
K-rock and Ross asks
Has your career ever gotten in the way of your dating life
You should answer this question first. Yeah, I should yeah
yes, so for multiple reasons one I
Fuckin busiest shit like I do not have time to date or go out a lot
I'm if you hardly have time to do this show
I hardly have time to do this show and it's like just I don't
It's hard to explain to other people and the second way it's gotten in the way is just I can't tell people
My full name when I'm dating
Because they can find out everything about me if they even if they know my last name
They could find out where I was born where I work what my parents names are cuz it's all on the Internet
Oh, that's not your real last name. It is I would I just don't tell people oh, okay because they can okay
Yeah, so like you know I'm on all these dating sites dating apps. I guess they're called now
And I don't have my Instagram link to it. I don't have my job on it
I have no information and so whenever people are talking to me on these things. They're like
What's your Instagram, or give me your number and it's like
Let me meet you in person first so I could explain a little better as to who the fuck I am
Because you do all your correspondents through the apps and stuff through the app yeah
I know I and usually people are very understanding which is really nice where I'm like hey
I prefer to meet you in person before I give you my number or tell you my last name
I'm just a little more private and usually people are good about that, but other people are like
The fuck do you do yeah?
CIA yeah
I just have an interesting job and an interesting position
Yeah, let's meet in person, so it's I don't know if it's gotten in the way of my dating life, but it definitely is
awkward sometimes if you find that it
sometimes like enhances it though as I found that way like as far as like traveling and
Stuff like that like that can get in a way of like a new relationship when you first meet somebody and then like you kill
The momentum by like hey, I got to be gone for two weeks
Yeah, that kind of sucks as far as like you know when you're talking to somebody like it
You can tell them like hey, I'm in entertainment
That's always kind of like it's an interesting thing like kind of get attached to that not to be like hey
we're badasses, but like it's a
When you tell somebody hey, what was your day like if you did an immersion or something?
Yeah, like that's kind of a cool thing. That's also you know and and
Guys have been very intrigued and very like excited about stuff like once I got to know them better and they found out what I?
Do they've been like very into it
I think it comes for from perspective of like if it doesn't go well like we do want a first date
And it doesn't like obviously I don't see a future with this person. They're like it's not good
but then
They somehow like we talked about what I did so they know now they know where I work
And they know how to find me online
Whereas if you aren't so much in the public eye, it's a little harder like when you have a first date
And you want to just pieces I would never talk to them again
it's a little easier that way, but if they know that stuff about you they can start following you and
you know
Situation yeah, yeah
And it's like hard to talk about because a lot of people watching might not be able to relate and I'm sorry about that
And it comes unrelatable
And it comes off a little douchey, and I apologize
But it's I think people might be know just the nature of the situation. Yeah a
Couple kid thing I find it weird when like I can't
Even entertain the thought of dating someone who?
thinks that
It was cool that I did porn like anyone who's a little too into it is just like red flag right away
Yeah, because it's it's weird to think about people, but then it's hard to find
Wholesome nice young gentlemen. Who are okay with that like my?
the last the first relationship, I had after I did porn was very hard because I
I think he was a little ashamed to like bring me around like his family. I really yeah. How are you dating poor?
We did it for like for about a year. Oh wow, but I never met his family and
This like switch went off that like maybe he was ashamed when I found out that like a month later
He started dating a girl and then a month after that he introduced her to his whole family
So that was like a slap in the okay. I get it now clearly
Yeah, yeah involving that yeah
I imagine it's difficult in the position that you're in yeah to find holes like a lot a lot of guys want to
Like hook up with me, but it's hard to find someone who's willing to be ok with the attention past
Like the internet just all of that. Are you on any like dating sites or god? No?
Yeah, I imagine I don't think I was a catfish. That's true
which it's funny because like people I see people tweeting me all the time of like oh I
Like you're not Katrina who is 23 yeah, Portland. They have pictures of me, and I'm like yeah, I'm sure that happens to everyone who's
Like and there's people who try and catfish us. Yeah, we were talking about
Girl, yes, she tried all the time God, so it was I don't want it. I don't wanna take away from the story
I'll try and make it quick
But no
It's a great sir it so I had this person who was commenting on like my pictures and stuff on Instagram
and
I went to their profile
And I was like whoa whoa whoa this is a hundred percent of fake person because they are way too attractive to have 80
followers on Instagram Oh
any
C300 I can see that's just a pride of it. She had so many photos up and only eighty
Follower circum usually if you're a very attractive person abreast a lot of photos
I'd like to know more than like more than a joke yeah, so anyway, so I was like oh my gosh
This is a fake person, but like then I completely forgot about it a few weeks later
she starts commenting on more of my pictures and
And and then I'm like oh, there's there's that catfished again, and then she messages me, and I'm like oh yes
I got her now like I'm gonna find out as much and fro as I can and we have a really good friend who used
To work here, who's basically a private eye like she should become a private eye because she like whenever like a just person anything
So she I told her I was like this is all I have here's an Instagram link this is all I have like help me
And so she came back. She's like yeah. I can't find anything, but like I don't know and I was like okay
Well, it was like it doesn't really matter anymore, whatever
And my girlfriend was completely in the know it wasn't like I was messaging some random yeah
And without like like you know she she thought it was kind of funny
So anyway a few weeks later Emily rpi friend comes back, and she's like hey. Did you ever know anything else about that person?
Oh, no. I kind of forgot about it, and she let me do one more search she's like
I just found some notes that I took because she's like
She's the best person yeah, yeah, so she's like she comes back and she messaged me like 20 minutes later. She's like holy shit
I found her I found the real person and so I don't know how the fuck she did first Google know
But it was on Instagram pictures
Which is super hard to do because like I guess the way they posted whatever so she?
She found the real person she was like here's her profile of course
It was some you know the same girl, but like with like thousands of followers, and I was like of course
This is who you really are
Maybe she's like oh you got a message Aaron let her know and so I do it
I'm like hey like this is super weird, but like I
I'm on this show and this person has commented multiple times about the show and being a big fan
But like she's using your pictures
We know it's a fake just so you know whatever and she messaged back, and she's like oh my gosh
Thank you so much like this has happened to me so many times like you wouldn't believe
Like people are so weird whatever. I just wanna be like well congrats on being so fucking hot yeah
People use your photos to catfish. Oh yeah, yeah, not only do they use my photos to catfish?
There is a very successful and lucrative Twitter account that is
My name, but like with an extra eye in there so no one you know it is like a capital I inside
300,000 follow more than 300,000 followers, and I asked for money through PayPal
So I'm basically funding their kids
Tyler do you run that account yes Tyler could you not report that that's how I got verified okay?
Like I was like dude like these people this person is stealing money from people yeah
Yeah, is it your your it's your Twitter its or your Instagram. I think it's like not
What is it you what your Instagram handle?
Now its wait. It was not the fake not that but then I got me a khalifa bag, and I got it verified
Okay, that's what it was not the fake. Yeah. I remember that yeah, but
catfishing man
Yeah, yeah
It was it was like a thrill ride for me for like a whole have you ever caught fish someone I've never catfished anybody have
You ever been catfished I?
Don't think so I mean I've had people. I think's I mean you know people have messaged me
You know I leave my my Twitter open cuz it's you never know what you're gonna get catfish who has Tyler's dick pics
Send it to me
I've never since they always open right to Mia open
Never sent a dick
Pics don't send me dick pics on that guy that answers the unknown phone call oh
I just like the mystery of you know there's not a lot of mystery left in this world
You know we got all these spaceships flying around. They're taking pictures. They're like yeah, that's a thing
I want to know who's on the other end of the line
I'll open I'll open my snapshots occasionally and make them public and I stop every time I get it yeah
I close it, and then I'll open it open up my snapshots for a little bit
Yeah
We both did at the same time kind of interesting didn't change that recently where now if you open it up people could also
Call you via they can call you. Yeah, fuck that yeah, that's why I
Has only happened to me once and it was when we did that like snapchat roulette video um
But dating yeah went off on a whole tangent. Well has it gotten in you're in the way of your stuff
I don't know. I don't think so or has it helped you it kind of depends. I don't know if it's helped
I don't really tell people what I do like actually this is crazy see ladies out there
You need to make better choices because there's the time of my life like for a year
I got laid off from my my radio job for about
Four to five months I went on three dates
There were very successful dates and their own right where I'd straight-up told them like yeah, I'm in on unemployed guy
And they didn't find anything wrong with that which isn't like the biggest deal in the world to not have a job put together
That's why I guess so thank you. I appreciate that
today
I'm low-balling everyday
Most of the time I'm not even wearing pants, I mean we already clarify that with the state
But no, I don't think so like it's just uh yeah don't date unemployed guys. I mean it's okay
If you do be like make sure they have a baller a future or something
Agree with that. Well. I don't know for me. It was strange like it's good to be ambitious and to
be able to
Take care of yourself and whoever you're with, but also sometimes people are just in between jobs
Oh, and I totally get that yeah, seriously, but oh yeah, maybe just find some money. It's just I
Don't have much date Tyler
Trying that's a--that's a-- you gonna jump listen. I've done it before I'm still doing it
I'm still dating it not for long not for long. Yeah, no shit. This is where we tell you that you're fired
I wouldn't and I'm here to replace you
I think most people would be okay basically you're the me, but I'm sure you both have the same sports knowledge
I think she knows a little more actually I would actually I would I would say that you will I know I know a
Little about a lot like I know yeah about a lot of sports like lacrosse Tour de France
Random obscure which is awesome boy cool, and you're a hockey fan. I am which I respect there you go
Yeah, that's for my heart nice Canadian soul sister
We'll talk sports after the show because if we start talking talking sports right now nobody's gonna watch this thing
Like a spin-off of sports. We're always open called sport Bowl. We should do that. What will host it
Yeah, I got to tell you about the time. I saw Lance in France you saw Lance in France I did I
Talk after the show about I mean you talk about the catfishing, but I know you're in a relationship
I'm Errol ish and I've been in a relationship. I think
I've been in a relationship now for two years, and I think pretty much right?
Then is when I started to be more on camera here
Yeah, I think and I remember when I first met my girlfriend
She and I we were talking about like our jobs, and I was like. Oh yeah, I work for this company and
Called called roosterteeth, and she was like oh cool like what's that?
And I told her like Oh like you know they used to read verses. I mean they still do red vs.
Blue, and she was like oh yeah, I remember watching that in high school and so like that's like the extent yeah
because
There was a there's a guy hung out with who like I had seen him a few times
and we were just like friendly and whatnot and
He asked me
More about roosterteeth he's like well. What kind of stuff you do there, and I was like well. There's a show
I host she's like what's it called. I'm like it's called always open, and so he pulls it up on his phone right there
He starts watching it and he's like
This is really fucking funny. Yeah, it is and he kept watching it, and I'm just like I can't watch the whole fucking episode
right now he's like I
Kinda, yeah, is that okay? I'm like
Yeah, and I was like are you just gonna watch all the episodes is it gettin talked about me. I'm like no
You are not interesting enough to be talked about yeah
Yeah, they're gonna talk about you slow your roll. Yeah, there you go exactly
well
Thanks movement also first bus
Episode of always open I've moved much. Oh, it's pretty. Thank you this episode of always open is brought to you my movement watches
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Sure beautiful get a watch stay on top like the black panther is a bit better. Thanks Alice never be late wait never be like
You mean Thundercats, we're just saying you're like Black Panther Party like the Olympics like
Behind the Black Panthers why not hey hey that was good
you
Got to do really pronounced head down
Fist up like this. Yeah exactly
Hey, I just think of Beastie Boys oh
Yeah, what you got your right to party boy y'all right?
To Paul yes, you boys really do represent everything black
African Americans in general stand for the Beastie Boys almost single-handedly ended racism yes
Yeah, everyone overlooks that yeah, I forget about that all the time
Thanks boys. It's gotten so much better little-known fact all right gonna do our last segment of the day
Which is our box of issues where we pull a question?
From our audience we get a lot of these and we appreciate it
You guys ready? Uh-huh this one's from Bri
Who's 22 so brief summary and Bri writes?
I recently matched up with a guy on a dating app and we clicked pretty well
So I agreed to go out for drinks with him from his pictures on his profile
He seemed pretty tall
But that wasn't the case when he arrived this didn't bother me since I figured he was still attractive
And we still had what I thought was a good connection
However one of the first things. He said to me was sorry. I'm so short
We still had drinks and talked for over an hour, but the whole time all I could think about was that comment
He made and how that chemistry we had over text didn't seem to continue in person
after the date
I decided that I probably wouldn't go out again with him because it felt like he wasn't
Confident with himself and that he knew his pictures were intentionally misleading
But when I shared this with friends they act like I'm being really shallow
Are they right and should I give him another chance okay?
She has really bad friends because good friends would have annihilated him verbally with her
Yeah, they would have roasted him in the group chat with her
Yeah, those are good fights true yeah, Tyler tell her I know I know
Tyler is gonna have a lot to say about this
I got some qualms this one. Yeah, I get the short guy to show this worked out perfectly
Oh, yeah, five seven five eight on a good day five nine with my boots on your boot time mm-hmm
which isn't short, but for a guy, it's
Over five ten no I have I have but most of the guys. I've been in have been under five ten
I think five tennis told to me. I mean yeah, I mean I just to each their own
I guess this is the is it too full yeah number one. You kind of set it with a guy for the guy out there
You know Brees talking about like he was you know his pictures didn't really reveal
It's kind of hard as a guy to like hey. I'm tall like it's you don't go stand next to a fucking staff
Yeah, yeah put it in your fucking a lot of a lot of dating apps things. I say I'm so-and-so
Yeah
I find that more with girls will say that in dating apps at least when I look at profile pics like I don't obviously I
Don't know what guys you're putting on there
But I don't list my height because it shouldn't fucking matter and for this guy out there. Well. It's what defensive there
What the fuck is wrong with you to think that there's why would you ever apologize for anything that you have physically fact?
That's the first comment. He made. It's like it. He knew he was intentionally misleading. I I don't think that's misleading
I think it's insecurity with this guy
Oh, yeah, I don't think like it should matter whatsoever like I know for me personally not to be like hey. I'm some fucking
Casanova, but I've been around and I've dated pretty much every race. I've dated taller woman shorter bigger
It doesn't really matter to me and my whole point of that is not to be like oh, that's fucking cool
Then I did that but it's like if you walk into a bakery and there's all these goods in the bakery
Do you just go into the bakery and just say I want that one cookie specifically?
Alright well some people are for me. I'm like everything in here will taste good pound cake is gonna taste good. I
Think if you just shut yourself down to those things like it doesn't make any sense me so for for the short guy
I think he had more of a problem with the girl being taller than him
And I think that's more on him than anything else she clearly said I think like she didn't really think he's projecting his insecurities
I think he's projecting his insecurities and that he's short like don't fuck and apologize for any of that
That's ridiculous so on the other side with it uh with the girlfriends and stuff. I don't think she's being shallow at all
No, how is she being shallow? I don't know say that it was his height that bothered her. It was the connection
It was a connection like his lack of confidence exactly so like
First of all fuck this guy or like hey, don't be insecure like that's ridiculous don't apologize for being
Yeah, what you are physically that's insane, and I think that
Nine times out of ten the connection you have with someone over text before you meet them is always gonna be different than in person
See at least that's how it felt for me at least at first because everyone's a little awkward on the first date
there is this guy who I had a great connection with over text and
I thought I was like dude. We're really gonna hit it off when you meet in person
And then we met in person it was just like oh my gosh like talking to a fucking brick
Wall what the hell happened, and he was a terrible kisser - oh no. Yeah, which is like the worst thing
That's worse than anything. Yeah. What a kiss? That's why you're dangerous like
This is this is a line that I would suggest not again not I'm Billy badass overhere
But like I hate texting in general so like if you're texting somebody on a dating app
And it seems like it's like going okay. I get out in like two lines. Hi
My name is Tyler make a funny joke or whatever
And then I take I literally have texted the same thing kind of like in master of none like you know hey
I'm go to Whole Foods. What do you want? Yeah? It's like I would so here's the thing I'm a no-bullshit guy
I don't like playing games if I'd rather meet up with you in person instead of trying to woo you over text if you're interested
Let me know see I need that I need that buffer period of like getting to know someone yeah
I know I don't like meeting people like and that's where for me. It's least like I don't care to have
Three days worth of text like I don't have time about dating though and especially like
If you're on tinder or any dating app or something when you meet the person in person
And you've done a lot of the dating things
It's like a fucking interview, and it's the same questions with every person. It's the same fucking routine over and over again
Where are you from? What do you like to do? What do you do for work?
What's your family like it's it's like you're fucking interviewing someone. I feel like dating these days
It's just oh no the old are you good in the more you date. It's just a fucking nightmare. Yeah, it's a nightmare
It's terrible so quit doing that look for a guy. That's like yeah, you got a string right there
It's white it's lint. Oh, it's probably my skirt hmm
I mean I'm speaking from a guy's perspective
So you know that's just me, but I know it's it's so much harder for women anyways
I've never I've never went on a date with a guy that I met online
but I went on I
I
Dated a guy for a little bit that I went that I had only met very briefly one night because he was a friend of
A friend and then the like few weeks of texting happened, and I was way more excited to see him next like I need that
little extra time to
Want to even leave my apartment for you, so you need that you need the text yeah
Are you
Are you are you really worth putting a bra on for?
For a new specifically no like the answer is always a guy who cooks naked
braless girls yeah, that's
Girls wear bras good. She's asking if she if she's right
Or if her friends are right for thinking that she's shallow, and if she should give him another chance, and I don't think
Girl get in a group chat with us. We got you
Yeah, seriously her friends are wrong, and she should not go out with that guy again
And it's like if you don't have a connection of someone you don't yeah an action with someone
And yeah like usually you could tell that pretty quickly with someone impressed. She just feels guilty because
Everyone's gonna think it's only because he's short right which is not
That's even worse on her first sympathy date, but also like have you ever sympathy fucked someone
Yeah
I sympathy no this wasn't even sympathy it was
This guy was like
He got super drunk on the first day a little sloppy, but I let him like get under my shirt
Just because when we got back to his place
Before he got himself a beer or a glass of water or anything
He poured his dog water his bowl
Just because of that you're taking care of the animal so it wasn't real I I also
Listen you're attracted to the people you're attracted to and you can't help it
And if if there's a person that you're seeing in person who is not what you thought they would be like in person
You're it's totally fine. If you're not attracted to them and it people think you're shallow for that reason
It's like okay, but you're gonna be attracted to you're attracted to you know. It's just kind of
I mean I I
it can go either way with shallowness, but I've
Been with like really really really really really
Funny charismatic nice. Just all-around great personalities, but they might not be the best looking yeah
And then it's also been the opposite for with like a really good looking guy, but he's completely vapid. Yep, so it's not shallow if
You're there's no connection even if they are good-looking, or if they're not yeah
I was just making the analogy with a bakery that that's just me like I find women
Fascinating and like everybody's got something that makes me track absolutely. I just love women was the whole point of that conversation
So call him that's what we're best friends you and me like the same thing
Women are cool to me. Oh
Fan their fan. Oh a fan with a fan in college once
Oh, yeah, but I also like if you want to give someone. I saw this dude. He's playing out watching this
Any guys who are short, but make themself look like the way
Florida State makes Prescott fountain look online like you take the pictures from like doubt honestly when I first thought in person
Yeah, it's literally the size of that like TV stand
But it looks like it's the size of
Ability angles and a lot of guys do that on their profiles and a lot of girls do it too with like the face tuned
Up and I mean everyone everyone likes themselves have you
Date with a girl who looked nothing like her pictures just because they were so overly edited actually yeah
But it's been like the reverse like
Like a couple different occasions. It's like they were better looking in person. Yeah, it's like there
Was just like shit like yeah, it was crazy
You actually helped me with my profile my picture because I had pictures in there where it's like clearly
I'm the shortest guy in the picture guy
I don't give a fuck but you were like yeah
People are just gonna judge like people go through that so but it's like they're good cuz I don't know
Waste my time with that person, it's so I know that's true
And I'm not saying you should have taken out for that reason, but also like you're a very good-looking guy
Wish I you know we have arguments about, but I appreciate that you're a very good-looking guy
And I feel like the photos that you had don't do you justice I did the photos I ever the photos
I have I know we could take more take more photos. I know better photos will get Jon Risinger. I'll take some photos
I'll cook a steak or something that ties. Yeah, got some head shots
But I yeah, I guess you you helped my game out a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, I think so
Cool, yeah, my swipes. Yeah, you yell her name during sex then when like it's a I mean
Do you know her name
Because this was so much fun. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me
Thank you so much for joining us Tyler you. Thank you too. Yeah, really never saw my onion rings
Those servers are very slow here. Oh, yeah, she's making a diner joke gotcha plug plug
You're jumping that joke since I found out I was coming on this show
I think I'd like to plug for ants where they could find you um
more intimate life streams and
You know insight into my life on my patreon campaign. Oh cool
It's patreon.com slash Mia, Khalifa you have a you have a Twitter. I do Twitter is Mia Khalifa
Instagrams Mia Khalifa snapchat is the DC sports girl oh?
Don't slide into those do you?
I'm not interested in any of you and all that no cheers my friends Cheers. Thank you. Thank you. See you next time guys
