- [Man filming] Rob Dyrdek it.
- What the heck?
(audience laughing)
Rob Dry...
- Yeah.
- He just created a verb
and said "Rob Dyrdek it".
- [Man Filming] Put your
shirt over your face
and shoot a full court shot.
- I've never done that.
(audience laughing)
- [Man Filming] He probably would
and he'd probably make
it in his first try.
- [Rob] What makes you
think I'd make it first try?
(audience cheering)
- Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
Suck that, Rob Dyrdek.
(audience laughing and clapping)
- Excuse me?
First of all, I would never put my shirt
over my face but the last thing I'm doing
is sucking anything here.
(audience laughing and cheering)
(upbeat dance music)
- This party is out of
control, are you feeling it?
- I'm feeling it!
(audience cheering)
- Yeah, spring break, spring break,
spring break.
- Are you feeling it?
Spring break, you feeling it, what?
- Stomp it up, stomp it.
- Go ahead, go ahead,
(audience cheering)
go ahead, go ahead.
- Stomp it.
- Man.
- That's how we do.
- Man, too bad we have never gone
on a spring break together.
(audience laughing)
I think we'd have the time of our lives.
Think how fun that would be.
- Oh, so much fun.
- It really does.
- You got the moves, though.
- You wanna know what?
- I was just watching that.
- I could've been a stripper.
(audience laughing)
- Yo, what up?
- This is so weird.
(Rob laughing)
(audience laughing)
- Killing it, killing it.
(laughing)
- Are you gonna laugh like
that the whole episode?
(Rob and audience laughing)
- Until he switches, yes.
- Are you guys familiar with demon dogs?
Do either of you have one?
- Like, it's not like a demon, like,
it's a devil.
- Yeah.
(woman and audience laughing)
- But not like the type of devil
that like, you would
like see at a carnival.
Like, like a devil that's like
the one that possesses you
and then takes you to the fiery hell dog.
(audience laughing)
So, on the set of Jackass
have you ever been
accidentally penetrated?
(guests and audience laughing)
Has it ever gone too far,
where it's like, hey, like,
oh, we're just having fun,
- A little bit.
- I'm naked and someone
- A little bit.
- Like (clicks).
(audience laughing)
- When you're playing
grab ass, things happen.
(all laughing)
- At what point did you learn to love golf
more than your son?
(all laughing)
- More than you?
It was not too long ago,
actually really probably 10 years ago.
- Okay, our first category,
dedicated to your passion for golf
and your ability to beat me
like I was four years old.
Legends of the green, take a look.
Okay, okay, it's a cross,
it's over, it's skipping.
It's up, it's gone.
(audience groaning)
- That was amazing.
- I don't even know,
this is borderline golf magic right here.
- Golf magic.
- That a little round two?
- Look at it, boom, boom.
(audience groaning)
I make a goal each year not to black out
and then what happens?
There's always that last memory
where like I am killing the dance floor.
It's like so, I have so
much extra body movement.
And then I wake up devastated
and what we like to call
PPD, post party depression.
(audience laughing)
- Whenever I say trapped
queens, what do you think of?
(both mumbling)
- You wanna answer it?
You wanna go Chanel, Rob, Chanel?
- I think about this a lot, right?
(all laughing)
When you're like a queen
built to like really
like live in a castle,
but you're in an apartment.
(all laughing)
- That's my life.
Welcome to my life.
- Like that's like that's what I think.
I don't know.
- I mean, that was good.
That was good.
- [Woman] Excuse me fellas,
I'm looking for my grandson, Brandon.
(all laughing)
- For those of you who couldn't see that
we all know there's at least one friend
that understands that
this was not a good idea.
Here we go man, let's pull it, ow.
He knows better.
Now I got to think like
how do I be Sterling?
Yeah, I'm just gonna hit
like just dick jokes.
(all laughing)
- Okay, let me ask you both a question.
What's the wildest thing's
ever happened to you
when you passed out?
- I was like what,
what we call in the hood rocked up.
(all laughing)
You know what I mean?
Like I was Elan Musk about
to hit Mars type (beep).
And like Omar walked in, he said,
like, "Steelo, you pitchin' a tent?"
I woke up like, "Nah, ma, I've
just got that rocket speed."
(all laughing)
- Okay, makes absolutely no sense at all.
- The fans are here, get
everything out the window!
Everything, everything !
Okay, okay, we're good good,
good, chill, chill, relax.
Nothing going on here officer.
Got a thing going on here.
I think there might be
some drug abusers outside
but nothing here.
(all laughing)
Who's it gonna be?
(all talking over one another)
Snapshot of who they are.
- Bye bye!
What, no one does anything?
- No, this America.
Okay
- (beep) yeah.
Pick your ass up soldier.
- Pussies don't graduate.
(all laughing)
- Stop putting ranch all over my car.
- I didn't do that.
- Yeah, you did.
Colton said you did.
(all laughing)
- Colton?
Who's Colton?
Colton's a liar.
- And why are you carrying
a full bottle of ranch?
- That's a good question.
They're gonna have the
best sex later that week.
The best make up sex ever.
- Oh man.
Have you ever really gotten deep
into sexual intercourse with ranch?
- I think you and I both
know the answer is yes.
- I didn't even need to ask it.
- I know when I go grocery shopping,
after I'm done grocery shopping
I don't give a (beep) about the cart.
I'll leave it right there.
What about you, Rob?
- I mean look, when it
comes to me and carts
you get it out, you fill
it up, you let it go.
You give it an eye shot, right?
- Okay.
- And if it's within what
I call the 30 foot roll,
I'll replace it.
32 feet, I leave it next
to the car next to me.
(all laughing)
(rock music)
Whee!
(all laughing)
- He did an amazing job over there.
(mumbles)
Okay, all right, we can
go to the next moment.
(all laughing)
(energetic music)
- Basically, I dropped
this and we're gonna
show you how amazing Science can be.
(all shouting)
- [Woman] Let's just light
the whole school on fire.
- Yeah, that's pretty dumb.
He got fired definitely.
But that was pretty cool.
- Nobody got hurt
and one of these kids is
gonna invent space travel.
(audience laughing)
- Oh my God.
- Hold up, hold up.
- Wait, wait, you just
said invent space travel
like it doesn't already exist.
(all laughing)
- I didn't say it out loud
'cause I didn't want (beep) on you
She took it there.
- I meant to say time travel.
And I missed it and I just said (beep) it
let's keep moving
I got it!
(crowd exclaiming)
- Oh my god, penetrator.
Okay, full penetration.
(audience exclaiming)
It was like two steps--
- And really it doesn't matter
how deep you get penetrated,
you do not drop that beer.
(all laughing)
All right, there you
have it for Warner Bros.
(audience applauding)
Every one of you young ladies in the crowd
if you could just like,
get as deep as you can in your soul
and scream as loud as
you can so I can hear
what it's like to be Justin Bieber.
(all laughing)
So if you guys could just
scream as loud as you can
and I'm gonna pretend I'm
on stage at a concert.
Three, two, one.
(ladies screaming)
I bet there's...
I would argue that there's an epidemic
among boy bands of deafness.
(all laughing)
Man, I just got caught in
the moment, you know, like--
(mumbles) (beep)
Guys in here you know what I mean?
They just naturally,
when they're kind of like,
surrounded by so much man,
all of a sudden, like
they're cheering and
their claps turn to fists
and they just start hooting. (hooting)
You know what I mean?
It's a super weird thing
that does not happen
when there's a bunch of chicks in
'cause they're just more respectable.
♪ Yes Jesus loves me ♪
Hold up, go back.
♪ Yes Jesus loves me ♪
As soon as she heard
like, yes, Jesus loves me,
right like--
- She got in there.
It hit her, "Oh, this is my jam, yes!"
♪ Yes,` Jesus loves me ♪
♪ Yes, Jesus loves me ♪
♪ Yes, Jesus loves me ♪
♪ The Bible tells me so ♪
(audience applauding wildly)
- That is so cute.
- [Man] Do it, do it!
- Oh, oh no!
- Dicks out for Harambe
(smacking)
(audience groaning)
- I don't know if this is
specifically bro related.
I think this is more,
man, I was like, man.
(all laughing)
I just got played like (beep).
Sterling just rewound his
(beep) right into my hand.
(all laughing)
(beep) me.
- You were literally
like this too.
- Yeah, look, honestly.
Honestly, I don't even
have anything left to say.
(all laughing)
- Mom put your seatbelt on.
- Go back, go back.
This is a lesson to all
the mothers out there
to always be safe.
- Mom, put your seatbelt on.
- Put your seatbelt on mom.
- No?
All right then.
(tires screeching)
- I'm gonna (beep)!
- Mom, I told you to put--
- Yeah, yeah.
- He trying to save her life.
- He did.
He might have saved her life
because he's a (beep) driver.
(man grunting)
(audience groaning)
- He cracked the front windshield though.
(all laughing)
See the grenade?
- Go back, he's just
trying to get that fly out.
(all laughing)
(beep) fly, save that fly, bro!
(beep) save the fly!
(laughing)
Do you figure you're born a bro?
Or you learn to be a bro?
- I don't know.
Do bros identify as bro?
- I don't know.
- I think they do.
- Hoes (mumbles) hoes.
(audience laughing)
- But deep down they know they're hoes.
You know what I mean?
- Good!
- Dude, you may not say I'm a bro
but a gentle bro.
(all laughing)
Man, real talk up here
on the stage, real talk
(audience cheering)
Welcome back to "Ridiculousness".
What is it about rich people that we hate?
- Rich people.
- About rich people?
- Yeah.
- I don't hate you.
(audience laughing)
I like you.
- Look, I'm a different
type of rich.
You know what I mean?
I'm the like, hey, let's
waste money on stupid (beep)
because we're rich.
- Black rich, you hood rich.
- Hood rich.
- You hood rich.
- You know what I mean?
Look at that.
You know what I mean?
I don't need it
I was like what, what's
that, a gold, give me that!
- Privilege, we hate privilege.
- Yeah.
- That's right.
So what we hope happens to
them when they're showing off
being all snotty and privileged
and what's the word with
the C that we just hate?
(beep)
(all laughing)
- I've never even heard
the word (beep) in my life.
How was it to raise me,
was I a pretty good kid?
- Yes.
- Okay.
- You didn't cuss.
- That you knew of.
- Well, not in my presence.
- When both of you were not there
I was F this and F that--
- Oh, you were not
- No, you were not.
- Shizzy this and shizzy that.
- No you were not.
- All right.
When did I start cussing then?
- When you moved out, California.
- Okay.
(audience laughing)
Let's talk about the time that I pulled
what I would consider a pretty funny prank
that went on little bit too long.
Do you remember what I'm talking about?
- That was one of the best April Fool's
pranks I've ever seen ever in the world.
It's the best ever from anybody.
- Okay, what'd you think?
- It was the worst.
(audience laughing)
- Let's take a look at
when I pranked my mother
on April Fool's.
(police siren wailing)
(mother gasping)
- Oh shit.
- Your bed lies in city property.
- Uh oh.
- You know this gentleman here
that I have in the back of my car?
- Don't take him to jail.
- I wanna have a talk with him here
right in front of you.
- April Fool's mom.
- So was that a policeman or not?
- No, he's an actor, I hired him.
- Well, I don't think that's funny.
(audience laughing)
(audience applauding)
(lively music)
- This is out of control.
- This is pure chaos.
- Go back, go back.
This is just like
what in the (beep)?
Look, all we know is it's
only five (beep) bucks.
(audience laughing)
Everybody's like, (beep)
that, (beep) that!
Okay, what is it?
It's a gift from our kids.
- Actually is very nice.
That is very nice.
- Aww!
(glass shattering)
- Oh!
Okay.
Okay, pause it, pause it, pause it.
- He wants a divorce.
(audience laughing)
He wants a divorce.
- Well, I just want to
like wrap my head around
is the family dynamic here.
What happened is something simple
as a family ornament was
dropped from about six inches.
It hit the table,
she might as well have lost
all the family's money in a gambling run
and have to go back to rehab
and then her kids react
just as equally hard.
- [Sterling] They all
hate her, that's so sad.
- Were you serious?
- It just dropped.
- [Girl] No, you dropped it.
- No, you dropped it, mom.
Just like you dropped
me when I was a baby.
And now I can't get a job!
(audience laughing)
I'm a clown.
- [Sterling] Okay you go back
- I love this woman.
(all laughing)
She was like "I'm not gonna
let anything hold me back
"because I want to feel freedom."
She did just that.
- [Man] Aw, don't do it, dude!
- [Rob] Last summer ever.
(audience exclaiming)
- Oh, oh!
- Oh!
- He broke that arm.
- On the climb up
it was (mumbles) gonna be so sick.
This is like ah, (beep) kind of high.
(beep), what am I doing,
this is way too high!
Then that shit breaks and
it's just like survival mode.
Let me be free.
I'm not good, am I good?
I got this branch, (beep) it,
I got this arm, I can get something.
Let me get a little bit of ribbon here.
- [Crowd] Oh!
(audience laughing)
- Okay, we are ready
to give out the award.
(drum roll)
The winner to the Grand Slam.
You know it makes sense.
River rocked!
(audience applauding)
Give it up for this man.
How you doing?
Congratulations.
What happened, did you break anything?
- I broke, compound fractured the elbow,
broke my pelvis in three places and...
- Man, look, I'm gonna
be honest with you, man.
(audience laughing)
Like in my mind on this show
no one actually gets hurt.
(audience laughing)
No, this man broke an elbow, a hip,
he was laid up in the
hospital for how long?
- Nine nights.
- It is only right that he is honored
with our greatest award, the Grand Slam.
Give it up for this young man.
Thank you so much!
Compared to all the other stuff I do,
how do you feel about this show?
- This is the safest thing you do.
- This is a fact.
Well, I'll tell you what,
I have had a lot of run-ins
with different scary animals.
Take a look.
I don't know what it is about this monkey.
But I think I love it.
(liger roaring)
(Rob shouting)
(bull mooing)
(crowd applauding)
(Rob screaming)
(tigers roaring)
(audience laughing)
Monkeys everywhere, monkeys everywhere.
So much fun.
(people chattering)
(people speaking foreign language)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
(audience laughing)
So let's talk about me as a child.
What were some of my early gifts?
(audience laughing)
- Karate.
- Right, what was I gonna be?
- A ninja.
- Thank you.
(audience laughing)
Okay, you remember taking my nunchucks.
- Gosh, I don't remember.
- I don't.
- I know you guys did.
And you crushed my ninja dreams.
(audience laughing)
I'm a stunt rider.
Fully backwards, anyone seen it before?
I doubt it.
(crowd exclaiming)
Oh no, someone call 119.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, high speed headshot.
Oh, oh okay, first of all, you got to know
if you're gonna jump
straight up into the ceiling,
that you're gonna hit it really hard.
Look, once he hits his head,
he lands back on that bike
and literally gets (beep)
whipped into his face right here.
Okay, go ahead.
And up and (beep), flip!
Okay, that's what happens
when you hit your head
on the ceiling and you
land back on your bike.
You blow your face out.
I know that this looks like
he's trying to have fun.
But he was trying to knock
himself out on purpose.
I'm gonna tell you why.
He didn't want to look at this anymore.
(audience laughing)
He did not want to look at this anymore.
(crowd exclaiming)
- [Man] He deserved it.
Bigfoot, are you okay?
- Excuse me?
Is this, we finally found him?
We finally found him--
- He trying to go home.
- He's trying to get back to the forest.
(crowd exclaiming)
- [Man] Bigfoot, are you okay?
- No man, Bigfoot is not good.
Yeah!
(crowd groaning)
Okay, rewind it now.
This is when your friends
are gassing you up
and refuse to believe anything went wrong.
Just listen now.
So you make it nah, nah,
you slam and then...
(onlookers cheering)
(audience laughing)
(Rob mimicking sirens)
No, no, he's out, stop cheering.
Here's one of the greatest
things about being a small child.
You have not developed fear.
You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
- You got to go through some (beep)
to end up realizing I don't
want to go through that again.
I remember like, man, I
used to jump off of sheds
and like run see and like
small dangerous snakes
and numchuck them.
(audience laughing)
And that was ;till I jumped off that shed,
slipped, landed on the
fence, blew out a shoulder
and then got bit by a snake.
(audience laughing)
Okay, then I stopped doing
that stuff, you know?
(rock music)
(crowd exclaiming)
Okay, is that real?
Okay.
(crowd shouting)
I don't know what's happening here.
But that's not tight club
that's like an adult Fight Club.
- [Camera Man] They call this
the redneck crotch rocket.
(man screaming)
(beep)
- All right, all right, bring
that back, bring that back.
Okay, just pause it at the top, Sterling.
Okay, stop.
He said, "All right, I
got a such a good idea.
"I'm gonna put one foot on this Cavalier,
"one foot on this Cavalier.
"And you light and shoot
it right into my butt."
What do you think he was thinking?
- He wasn't thinking.
- The shoot it into the butt, let's see.
Get it right in that butt fire.
Stop, look at that!
Look at that, right
now everything is fine.
He is a human rocket.
He has no idea what's going on.
Okay, let it play a little bit, go.
(man screaming)
Panic time, panic time, stop!
(audience laughing)
Okay, okay, you tell me
this doesn't look like
it just blew a human being to pieces.
(audience laughing)
- It does.
- Let it play out.
(man screaming)
(rapid beeping)
Okay, look, his butt.
He just blew his pants off.
(audience laughing)
Redneck good times, you never
know what you're gonna get
out of 'em but you can best guarantee
it's gonna be a whole lot of fun.
(all laughing)
- Being that you're a big cat,
Do you love or hate birds?
- I should hate them, right?
(audience laughing)
- Tell me about your bird pet,
didn't you have a little parakeet?
- Never.
- You had a crow?
(audience laughing)
Is it true or untrue you
had a pet woodpecker?
- Untrue.
- Okay.
All right, I'm gonna have
to reach out to your mom.
I'm pretty sure you had a pet woodpecker.
(audience laughing)
Okay, because the big cat
is naturally a big cat
he hates birds.
That's why we have this segment,
Birds are (beep).
(audience laughing)
(child screaming)
You better believe Little Johnny here
is going to hate and be afraid of birds
'til the day he dies.
(audience laughing)
Get rid of the food, child.
Get rid of the food!
There you go.
The birds aren't (beep.)
- The parent filming this
as their child screams
in terror is a (beep).
- One thing I'm gonna tell you right now,
stay off my block, old man.
(audience laughing)
Beat it, beat it!
(laughing)
Man, you're a (beep), man.
(all laughing)
Are we still doing
this, we still doing it?
We still doing this?
It's okay, I'm good, you good?
(Sterling laughing)
No, I don't know what it is.
You know that bird is
just such an ass (beep).
Yeah, no, no, I know babe.
He could have killed you, babe.
You still talking (beep),
you still talking (beep)!
You still, get out!
Oh man, whoo!
Aggressive geese, you never
want to be around 'em.
(rock music)
Yeah!
(crowd groaning)
Okay, I want to point
out a couple things here.
Number one, she's naked.
(crowd shouting)
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
When you're at Coachella
partying on the slip and slide
the last thing you ever expect
to do is to be fully naked
and (beep) whip your face, go ahead.
Okay, look naked naked, panties, panties!
(crowd laughing)
Look at her panties!
She's butt-naked, man, what the (beep)!
- That is amazing.
- Oh my god.
Here's the thing about dancing.
Big Cat's a master.
Okay?
- That's as true as that
I never wore a shirt
until I was 16.
- Listen to me, listen to me.
Show us some dance moves.
- No way.
- Show us some dance moves, man.
(crowd cheering)
Come on, come on!
No, get out there man, get out there, man!
Show us some dance moves.
Yeah, Big Cat, Big Cat, Big Cat, Big cat!
- Big Cat, Big Cat, Big Cat, Big Cat!
Big Cat, Big Cat, Big Cat, Big Cat!
Big Cat, Big Cat, Big Cat, Big Cat!
- The most awkward dance I've ever seen.
- I apologize to all of you.
(audience laughing)
Holy moly, guys.
- I'm sorry too.
- I was looking for some of that magic
and I got a little bit of this.
(audience laughing)
I have a sister.
Her name is Denise.
How were we as a brother and sister?
- Pretty mean to each other.
- Oh, what?
(audience laughing)
What?
We've created a category to
reflect on the childhood rivalry
I had with my sister
called sibling rivalry.
Take a look.
(energetic music)
Throw it in his face!
(crowd exclaiming)
Baby on baby violence.
What do you think?
- It's not funny.
- I mean, it's pretty funny.
- No it's not.
(crowd applauding)
(crowd exclaiming)
- Take it back.
Mom, what happened here?
- Started out real good.
- Do you think I would ever
do something like this?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you would.
- I would never on my
sister's beautiful birthday
put her face inside this weird brown cake.
But you want to know who would, this guy.
rewind it back and watch.
Look at his little smirk.
(audience laughing)
I would never ever do that
to Denise, I promise you.
Okay, what am I?
- A good brother.
- Thank you.
(energetic music)
(crowd exclaiming)
Who does that remind you of?
- There, that's Rob.
- Okay.
Okay.
- How do we even get there?
- Pause it, pause it.
You mean we just know it's not gonna work.
Like everything about how
you even climbed up there,
it's just not gonna work.
But look, the reality of it
is he's gonna be supported
the right way and that's what matters.
- [Man filming] You got this, man.
- [Rob] Don't worry, I'm bendy.
(crowd exclaiming)
- He couldn't even stand up right.
- He couldn't even like get a launch,
he just went jello-y.
(grunting)
- I love it.
- There you have it.
(audience applauding)
all right dad, how active
are you on Twitter?
(all laughing)
- Dead.
- Okay, now have you ever
been on Twitter ever?
- Never.
- Okay, 'cause we found a
Gene Dyrdek Twitter account.
Okay, let's take a look at what we found.
Okay, Gene Dyrdek,
"Hey son, don't tell Mom I'm on here.
"Just wanted to say hello
and that we miss you."
Is this my father or no?
- No.
(crowd applauding)
- Gene, I want you to come up here
and shoot a hole-in-one to win
someone from this crowd $500.
- Let's do it.
(audience applauding)
- Okay, how do you feel?
You feel the power?
Okay, who is it gonna be?
The guy that looks like Santa Claus.
(all laughing)
I don't know what he
does in his off season.
(audience applauding)
- Mike.
- Mike.
- [Chanel] (mumbles) I
don't know what he does
in his off season.
- Hey guys, his name's Mike.
- Hi, hi, sorry.
(laughing)
- (mumbles) a good boy!
- Come on, dad.
(crowd murmuring)
There it is.
- Oh my god.
- There it is.
(all cheering)
(bright music)
That's it for our show today.
Thank you to my dad.
From Mike, for Steelo
Brim, Chanel West Coast,
I'm Rob Dyrdek.
we'll see you next time
on "Ridiculousness"!
(crowd cheering)
(audience applauding)
- First of all, can I say one thing?
Can I say one thing?
- Yeah.
- The fact that you
actually do that's amazing.
I watched the show for so long
I've never really thought
you actually did it
and that's just talent bro.
That is just--
(crowd applauding)
I'm dead serious!
(all talking over one another)
- I like this kid.
I like this kid.
- That is the coolest
thing I've ever seen.
- I'm gonna say right now.
Can we get a standing
ovation for Sterling please?
(crowd cheering)
Standing ovation, standing ovation.
- Steelo, Steelo, Steelo!
- Steelo, Steelo, Steelo, Steelo!
- It's a remote, it's a remote.
(audience laughing)
It's just a remote, guys.
(bright music)
- [Woman filming] What is it, Chanel?
(audience laughing)
- (mumbles) when black people see magic?
(audience applauding)
Hell no!
(bright music)
- Here it is.
(mumbles)
(audience exclaiming)
- She died, she died.
- Oh Shay!
- That was a goddamn tsunami.
- Man, there would be the most
epic shot ever right here,
- Bro, she is not with us anymore.
(all laughing)
- [Rob] And woosh!
- [Man filming] Someone's
about to score some points.
High speed!
(audience exclaiming)
- Did he pee himself?
Is that a stain on his pants right there?
(mumbles) there!
- I got my helmet on.
(rock music)
(crashing)
(audience exclaiming)
- Whoa bitch!
- What, bitch?
(audience laughing)
- I didn't know it was you!
- He didn't even mean to punch him.
He was looking for somebody else.
(crashing)
(audience laughing)
- Boom, bitch, what's up!
I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you.
(audience laughing)
- [Rob] When I left you, I said,
"Hey, here's a whiskey
throttle with an old woman
"on a Kawasaki."
What is going to happen, Sterling?
- Not quite sure but
I do know 50 year olds
and motorcycles do not mix.
- Pause it.
What I do know is--
(audience laughing)
- (mumbles) peed myself
a little bit right there.
- There are a lot of different
phobias in the world.
What's the strangest one
you've ever heard of?
- I'm scared of butterflies.
- Yeah right, you're making that up.
- Swear to God--
(Rob screaming)
- You scream.
When you actually get up close
on a butterfly's like face
it ugly as hell.
(audience applauding)
And raccoons, I'm scared of raccoons.
They have hands and then
they pick up (beep) like us.
That scares me.
- Steelo, I got a surprise for you.
Something I think you're
gonna appreciate and love.
- Oh man.
- Oh!
(audience laughing)
- [Rob] We're busting balls.
(audience laughing)
- That's what happens
for real when you bust.
(audience applauding)
- [Rob] Picture your backyard
worst nightmare coming true.
- Oh no!
Oh god!
(audience exclaiming)
Bro!
- Aw, man!
(crowd applauding)
- Wait, wait, wait, time out, time out.
Why are we clapping for this?
We don't know if that man's okay.
That man might have died after that video.
(heroic music)
(man speaking foreign language)
(fire roaring)
(audience exclaiming)
When did Batman just start
wearing a leather jacket?
- Batman poor as hell now.
- [Rob] Are you good?
I love you.
You're my sister.
You're my sister.
(slapping)
(audience exclaiming)
- Was she making her
do her homework though?
She got a big ass calculator in her hands.
- Look, watch.
- What do you...
Okay, just channel that inner child.
Channel that inner child.
(baby crying)
(audience exclaiming)
- [Woman] What happened?
- [Man] Danny spilled the soda.
- Here his wife asked what happened
and he quickly blames the little boy.
Listen, listen.
- [Woman] What happened?
- [Man] Danny spilled the soda, come here.
(audience laughing)
- He threw him under the bus so fast.
(wind blowing)
(audience exclaiming)
- What?
He must have eight more lives.
(cat meowing)
- Whoa, wait a minute, whoa.
(all laughing)
- He looked the hell like
it was inside, bitch,
like what you doing here?
What the (beep)?
Oh, goddamn!
- [Rob] Cuts it down, innocent bystander.
(electricity zapping)
(audience exclaiming)
Oh, oh, oh, oh oh!
- She had never tapped
dance before that there.
(audience laughing)
Look it, she's just
tap dancing up a storm.
(energetic music)
- [Rob] Okay, oh, oh, oh!
- You know what?
There's not a (mumbles),
it's two different leagues.
(audience laughing)
All right, if you in the NBA,
this is small fry right here.
- That's a suspension.
(audience laughing)
- He really looked death right
down the throat, didn't he?
(audience laughing)
(horn honking)
(audience exclaiming)
- He just gave you, that
was a clean shave didn't it?
(horn honking)
Going to the job interview,
got a clean shave
before he got to it.
(audience laughing)
(audience exclaiming)
- What?
What kind of a soup is she making?
- Why'd she cross her legs?
- 'Cause she a lady.
(audience laughing)
- I'm a lady!
Yo, I'm looking for Sterling.
(beep)
(audience laughing)
Hey, hey!
- He flew.
(all shouting over one another)
Look, he's looking him
in the eyes, look at him!
(audience laughing)
What the (beep) is up?
- [Rob] I'm sure we
could do this together.
- [Man] First of all,
how to drive (mumbles).
(audience laughing)
Let's start with that.
- Just keep going.
(audience exclaiming)
- Oh no!
If y'all love is just as strong
as his bike y'all ain't gonna make it.
- [Rob] I'mma call you a taxi.
(audience laughing)
- You can tell he had a case before.
Look, he put his hands right up.
- I didn't touch her.
- It wasn't me.
- I didn't touch her.
- It wasn't me.
- [Rob] Takes engineering.
(audience exclaiming)
(all laughing)
- [Sterling] Oh my god,
that hurt, that hurt me.
- [Man] This is a multiple one.
- [Rob] This is beyond me.
- Wait, wait, wait, he got
a random ass Prince tattoo.
(all laughing)
- [Rob] This is just so bizarre.
(smacking)
(man screaming)
- How easy is it to become a black belt
in this town though, right?
(audience laughing)
(energetic music)
- Denmark!
I didn't even think that
was the death touch.
I think he just fell.
You're good.
You're good, you're good.
Denmark!
(audience laughing)
- That person looked
like death right there.
(all laughing)
- Oh my god, that is the grim reaper.
- [Rob] Sleeping in school,
doing a little bit of
school sleeping here.
Roger, head smack, face kick!
- [Man] Body slam and punch face.
- Oh man, but you know,
you know he been wanting
to whoop whup his ass for a long time.
- Mind your own (beep) business, bitch.
- I mean, I mean is she wrong?
Mind your (beep) business.
- Mind your own (beep) business bitch.
- Is she going through coupons?
What is she doing, man, what?
- [Woman filming] Oh hi,
you look so friendly.
- [Sterling] Oh no, fuck!
(audience exclaiming)
- Like no, no, no, don't do it!
- He like volunteered
for rabies right there.
I'll take rabies, yeah.
- [Woman] Oh, you (beep)!
(all laughing)
- Oh my God.
(crashing)
(audience exclaiming)
- Okay, okay.
- You know what,
I think it knocks him out
and then woke his ass back up.
(beep)
It hit him twice.
He got knocked out right here.
- He's like out.
- He's out.
And then it hits him here
and he's like all right.
- He's back up.
- What's going on?
(audience laughing)
Where we at?
(lively music)
- Deer!
- Going to town!
- I love how they're holding their race
on the same day deers
are holding their race.
(audience laughing)
The deers are like, "It
was our (beep) day!"
- Hello, hello, oh!
(audience exclaiming)
Oh man, I saw that going on.
I saw that about to happen.
He dragged his ass.
- He was just over permitting.
- That man went so, oh
that man lost his life.
Oh, he tried to grab onto the screen.
His teammate couldn't believe it.
Look at the black dude (mumbles).
(beep)
(audience laughing)
He drug that (beep)!
- You ever gotten a phone like
a day or two later that day?
- Yes, the same day.
- Yeah?
- Same day I was leaving the Apple store
and I was parking it and
it drops out my pocket
and I'm closing the door and it (beep)
bent in half, shattered everything.
I take it back and told
him I had been shot at.
I swear to God.
I was like "I got shot"
and Apple saved my life.
And the lady was like "Oh my God!"
I am so happy.
And I was like, (mumbles) story.
I swear to god, she was like--
- [Rob] Oh, oh!
(rapid electronic music)
- What is this?
What are they saying?
- [Rob] Okay, okay.
- Or are they just singing Nicki Minaj?
That's all.
(rock music)
- [Rob] Oh, oh, the floor is wet
Let's get a doughnut.
The floor is wet, get a doughnut.
Oh, oh, how about this coffee, bitch?
Floor's wet, bitch!
- Wait, what is she fighting with?
- Man, she originally had what I believe
is a medium coffee and a doughnut.
- I know she picked up
the slippery when wet
sign up and fell right away.
(audience laughing)
Like, you knew the floor was slippery?
what the (beep) are you doing?
Read the sign!
(energetic music)
(crowd cheering)
- Chanel, I have a feeling that
you laugh both when you
see something sketchy
or dangerous and when
you see something funny.
Is that true?
- Yes, pretty much.
- So if you're about to, like, you know,
drive a car off a cliff,
you're gonna be like,
"Oh, this is crazy!"
- Not if it's me about to die.
- If it's somebody else, you laughing?
(all laughing)
- You guys have put me
in an awkward position.
- But is it instinctually?
- There's certain situations
where it's a bad accident
or something that's very funny to watch.
Usually--
- (mumbles), I did not
see her going there!
(beep)
If a bad accident-
(men talking over one another)
- I thought when you just--
- (mumbles) watch when it ends and you see
that they're okay,
if I don't see the end of
it and don't know for sure
that's when I probably
won't laugh as much.
- [Rob] Let me get in
on some of this action.
- Okay.
- You get it on, whoa, whoa!
(audience laughing)
- She's having a good time.
- [Rob] Well, how did I get here?
- He thought his wife was
still at the mall shopping.
She got back from Sephora
early, was like hell no!
(cat screaming)
- Oh, what is this?
- He's so cute!
You little fecking cat!
(audience laughing)
Look at you, you little
(mumbles) cat, look at you!
- The struggle!
- What does your heart
tell you when you see this?
- It's really cute.
- Okay.
- My heart aches for
this little fat wet cat.
- I thought you I thought you
were gonna say something about
like about--
- I ain't (mumbles).
- I thought you were
gonna say something like
"Oh, like I love wet" (beep).
- And God, because we have pigs
there's chiltins today on our tables, God.
You're so mindful of your people.
- I get like this whenever
I find a Taco Bell
open at 4:00 a.m.
(energetic music)
(lions roaring)
- [Rob] Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey!
- Are they playing?
- Nah.
- No, he was trying to get some I think
and she was like, "Uh-uh."
- Wake yo ass up.
(all laughing)
- [Rob] Aww, here comes Britney!
- [Woman] Little Dora the Explorer.
(smacking)
(audience exclaiming)
- [Man] Whoa, call her
ass Doora the Explorer!
(audience laughing)
- Not exploring no more.
- Chanel, let's talk
about life in the future
and where it can take you.
- In the future?
- That's right.
One day, do you plan on being a mother?
- Yes, definitely.
- Okay, what are you most afraid of
in that journey to motherhood?
- I guess I'm scared
of dropping it like...
- Oh my god, (mumbles)?
- You don't want to drop your baby like--
- That's a fact.
- They're fragile.
(rock music)
(baby shrieking)
- What the (beep)?
- What?
- Whoa!
(audience laughing)
- [Rob] Okay!
- Wait, that was amazing.
Now, that baby's body language was like,
well, sorry you say it all the time.
I didn't know, geez.
- It's like hearing
- No, but you're never
hearing silence.
- Like this though.
Yeah you are.
- Even if it's
like really quiet.
- No, no, shut up.
- No, but like this.
(group talking over one another)
- [Sterling] Can you hear silence
is the most amazing (beep).
(all talking over one another)
- So can you hear silence?
- Can you hear silence?
- Yes.
(all laughing)
- I'm also saying yes.
- Well, 'cause--
- No, you don't hear anything.
- Silence is technically a sound.
- It's not technically a sound.
(audience laughing)
It's silence.
- I think (mumbles).
- Okay, if everybody--
- You guys think alike--
- I'm with her, I'm with her.
- Hold up!
If everybody shuts up and it
becomes completely silent,
you can hear that, right?
- No, you don't hear anything.
- So you can hear silence.
- You don't hear anything!
(man whining)
(audience laughing)
Oh my god, imagine being swole
and that's your sound you make.
(man whining)
- He sounds like a weird bird.
- [Rob] Aww, yeah, aww, god.
Other side, other side,
oh yeah, oh, oh, oh!
- That's the life right there.
That's obviously not a good vacuum.
T's like not even sucking the cat up.
(audience laughing)
(people shouting over one another)
- Do it, Chris!
- Go!
(punch thudding)
(audience exclaiming)
- [Rob] You knocked him out, man!
- The guy in the background
looks like a gnome.
What is he wearing on his head?
- You finally said something.
- These have been short clips today.
- There it is!
- My mouth. (screaming)
(audience exclaiming)
- Oh my god, oh my good.
- I'm scarred from that.
- Chanel, do you own a GoPro?
- No, I want to get one though.
- What would you film if you got one?
- I think like I could have my own show
just about road rage.
- Road rage.
- Like one time I just like (beep) you,
and this guy's like, "Yeah, West Coast!"
I was like, he took that really well.
- [Rob] I just want to
talk, I just want talk.
Yeah fine, go, go back
to that dirty freeway
whore of yours.
- I thought does it have horns?
- [Rob] Tusks.
- I thought those were extinct.
(audience laughing)
- Oh, horns are in fact extinct.
However, elephant tusks are not.
(rock music)
(talking over one another)
- [Sterling] He looks
like he's taking a selfie!
- It's like we're gonna spray both of us!
No, I guess I'm just gonna
spray me.
- He sprayed the back
of the door (mumbles).
- I almost thought he
looked like Donald Trump.
(audience laughter drowning out voices)
- [Sterling] But what
do you want from this?
- Man.
- Don't touch it.
(audience exclaiming)
- [Rob] Oh, oh my god!
- Oh my god, it probably
hit somebody in the head.
He killed someone!
(wild music)
- [Rob] I like karaoke
but Debbie, she shut down.
(audience exclaiming)
- Oh, bro!
- It literally looked
like she powered down.
- She did.
- It looked like
the batteries just died.
(mimics power dying)
- [Sterling] She did, it (mumbles).
- When you join the Coast
Guard you gotta love water
so when I think about what
branch you might end up in
I think you kind of like boats and beaches
that you could end up in the Coast Guard.
- Yeah, I feel like that'd
be the one I'd go with.
(audience laughing)
(audience applauding)
And I'd obviously guard the West Coast.
(all laughing)
- [Rob] This is the
Canadian armless push up.
(rock music)
(audience exclaiming)
- Cana-duh.
(audience laughing)
- [Rob] It's gonna be so amazing.
(audience exclaiming)
- It was like he got nervous
in the air, was just like.
(audience laughing)
- [Rob] Put it in, bring it
in, bring it in, bring it in!
- What the hell are they doing?
- Well, it's like he went too close.
(music drowning out shouting children)
- [Rob] Yes, that's it,
fight for your father's love.
- [Camera Man] Hey, stop it!
(child shouting)
(audience exclaiming)
Whoa!
- Got to move!
- The dad's so entertained.
He is not--
- It literally looks like Kylie and I.
(audience laughing)
- Have either of you
ever kicked at someone
and dropped them?
- I took karate for a week and--
- You took karate?
- What?
- Show us what you got.
- No.
(audience cheering)
- I want her to show me (beep)!
Hey, hey!
She's like a (beep)
Power Ranger, (mumbles)!
- I was (mumbles).
- Whoa!
- Oh!
(all applauding)
- [Sterling] It got real, it got real.
There you go.
- That's why I quit, I
wasn't that good at it.
(rock music)
- [Rob] Okay, all right.
Okay.
- Oh my God.
- Just give him a slice man.
(audience laughing)
- No, man.
- I know exactly what
they're doing though.
They're using the box as
a shield to keep him away.
I have to do that with my dog
where you have to like
put the box, like no.
You block him out, you make a little wall,
like a little wall of
China around your food.
(audience laughing)
- [Rob] Uh oh, all right, cool.
That's a good catch.
(audience exclaiming)
- [Fisherman] You son of a bitch!
- What was that, a big ass sea lion?
Some sort of sea beast?
- A walrus.
- Big ass weird sea walrus.
- Is a walrus in the sea?
I got confused, I got confused.
- Where would a walrus be
if he's not in the sea?
(audience laughing)
(man speaking foreign language)
- [Rob] Hello!
(audience laughing)
- He looks like he was sleeping in the mud
and just like woke up.
- [Man] Where did he come from?
- I don't believe in
like moving off emotion.
I believe in moving off strategy
and like my only strategy
is just to tell the truth,
just like whatever I said about you,
I'm gonna say to you,
and I'm gonna continue to
say it to you regardless
of how mad you get.
- Just because
you say something doesn't
make it the truth.
- That's true.
It's just my opinion.
- Just saying.
- She's just saying that
'cause I told her she was
whack rappin' one time,
that's all.
- Yeah.
- Oh, it's deeper (mumbles)!
- [Man] Like that (beep)
just come out of nowhere.
I (beep).
- I'm just saying though
you can have opinions,
it doesn't mean they're right though.
- Uh oh, beef, beef, beef, beef!
(audience exclaiming)
(audience applauding)
(beep)
(beep)
I never, knew, I never knew!
When was this?
- She is right though,
it's just my opinion.
- Yeah, we're all entitled to opinions.
- That's all, have y'all
ever heard her rap?
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
- Okay, good for the people that said no.
- Well, no.
(all exclaiming)
Hold on, hold on, let's just get (beep).
Little Wayne who co-sign
Drake and Nicki Minaj
is the same person who cosigned me.
I've won a BET award with Young Money.
I got songs with French
Montana, YG, Ty Dolla Sign
Snoop Dogg, mind you--
(crowd cheering)
I did a, hold up, hold up, hold up,
mind you, I did a song with Snoop Dogg
after getting into a
verbal argument with him
because he respected me so much after
I spoke my mind to him he still came back
and did a song with me.
- Why are you talking
with your hands though?
- You don't know my
musical track record, bro.
You don't know
my musical track record.
- I don't need sign language.
- Sorry, I can't be (beep) funny today
'cause he doesn't know my
(beep) musical track record.
So get familiar.
(crowd cheering)
