Very creative album, with a lot of different
connotations that people don't
necessarily talk about. I really wanted
to explain my take on it and for
copyright reasons, I'm gonna have to play
a little segment for like five seconds
or so and then stop it
so please bear with me regarding that.
Very brilliant what they did with the
whole thing. So this is the song that I
think literally everyone has heard at
this point.
This album is extremely heavy in topic
but it starts with a very fun Bop
and I think that's just the coolest
thing about. The progression of the
album - she captures so many
different layers, especially considering
her age and how young she is, it's
just amazing. Nowadays you see artists
just trying to go hype hype hype, you know?
There's no balance. Hype is fun but
you're not always hype - you know, you want to have songs that show genuine human
emotion as well.
I know some people give her crap because
they feel like you gotta sing powerfully
and belt and stuff in order to be a good
singer but one of the biggest things I
actually learned because I sing too is
the actual voices that really get to us
are the ones that are raw and vulnerable
if you want perfection you can just
auto-tune the crap out of whatever sound
you want, right? But I think that
imperfection is what creates a feeling
of almost like comadre - you can connect
with them, you understand their pain,
their experiences, the rawness, right? When
it's too polished, too perfect, it just
doesn't sound as genuine. I love those
muffled organ sounds, almost like drones,
because those sounds can evoke an ominous
over-looming vibe. I really like that she
takes it from something upbeat like bad got into
something more and more darker. I
love the whisper style of singing -
the very sultry singing, you hear Lana Del
Rey do it, you hear Norah Jones do it.
If you're actually able to pull off that
style, like:
It sounds much more that darker vibe. Because if she was to just sing it like flat-out like:
It just doesn't have as much of a hit.
The rhythm in your
voice can really create different kinds
of feelings. That
syncopation - choppy, short, staccato kind
of style of vocals - when you think
about rebels this song is trying to
embody that, right? They're usually more
rash - I want to do it, I'm gonna go
for it, that staccato-ness of behavior is
placed into the song and I think that's
really cool too how it drives that beat. I do
like a lot of songs that don't
necessarily explain what their lyrics
mean - like super abstract, you have to
like piece it together, almost a blank
canvas of a song, where you can like project
what you feel onto it. But I also do like
it when they do reveal a little bit of
what they're talking about. In this case
in her bridge she talks about the reason
why she wishes the guy was gay is so that
she doesn't feel as bad about herself.
It's not because of her, he just is not
attracted to girls. There's a lot of different
pieces working to create this experience.
We all know this feeling, we can't quite
name what this song makes us feel, but we
know that feeling.
We can project a time that we felt
that feeling onto the song and make it
into something unique. We've become so
unwilling and scared to share how we
feel we're worried about how others will
judge us that we try to make it just - oh,
I'm fine, I'm fine, I like it like that. People
run away from feelings which is very
unhealthy. If you guys are feeling things,
let yourself feel. That's the only way to
get past that feeling.
She uses
auto-tune in a very artistic way where
it's not because she can't sing, it's
more to enhance the thematic feel of
the song. 
This song always feels like
trying to creep.
This person or thing that she's talking
about is her addiction. When you're
feeling that feeling, it's exciting, it's
exhilarating. You know that addiction
or that infatuation is bad, but at the
same time it brings exhilaration and
thrill. You want to walk to it, you want to
step to it - it feels like you're going
somewhere. Like without even realizing,
you're moving because of the beat.
When
you're feeling like you don't fit in
with the norm, you don't feel like
there's anyone else in the world that is
sharing your experience - when somebody
actually starts to care about you and
show affection, you're like whoa, okay? (aka confused)
 
I like this barrage of questions she
asks - where did you go like, I don't want
to be lonely, like dah dah dah. A lot of times
when you feel that way, your mind
is just racing you're just like dah dah dah, it
spills out, you're overwhelmed, you don't
know what to do. This song, if you actually
listen, it's really dark. It's about
ideation. These last three songs are
brutal.
It's so dark, so real. This song - the way
it makes you feel that sadness but you
also feel that comfort - you can stay
there, you're safe there. Definitely
something you feel more than something
you can explain. When you're feeling like
you're in that dark place you don't want
to be there, but it's like you're sorry
but you don't know what else to do - you
just cannot handle that pain. I mean this
song is just... if you just go into a dark
room, and really listen - as this dark of a
song as it is, there is light she's
shedding on these feelings we
suppress until it starts to eat us up.
It is healthy for us to allow ourselves
to feel.
The rest of this song is extremely
slow, extremely dark, extremely
minimalistic and quiet - almost numb kind
of feeling. And then you throw this
gigantic bass in there. When you are
going through these periods, even in your
numbness there are times where certain
emotions can hit you. And you even know what
caused them, they just kind of came out
of nowhere and sometimes they stay,
sometimes they change or move,  sometimes
they... whatever, right? And also just the
subtle details of the sirens you can
hear in the background - which get pretty
dark towards the end of the song when it
gets closer and you realize what
thematically has happened. Just the detail
they put in to make sure you also feel
that uncertainty, that loneliness, that
just hopelessness.
It's just crushing you know?
One event, everything crumbled as we knew
it, right? I think in these volatile times
it's important to really bring focus to
things that can help us ground ourselves.
As horrible as it is, it could be a
opportunity for us to really be
introspective
and understand who we are, bring our
locus of control internally. If you feel
you are lost, if you feel like you have nobody -
don't go through it alone. If you don't
have immediate friends, talk anonymously
to people online on Reddit or whatever.
There are gonna be people who do care
and who do want to help - especially
people who have gone through it before
and they know and they do not want
anyone else to suffer that. So find your
tribe, find the people you resonate with.
If people make you feel bad, as hard as
it is, you have to sometimes let them go.
Don't let yourself be stuck in a cycle
where it destroys you. If you have tips
or advice for people going through
rough times feel free to like just
type them out down in the comments. My
favorite thing is when I go onto like Lo-Fi channels, the comments are such
a supportive environment. And if you guys
want to start that down below like I'm
all for it so go ahead and just don't
ever be afraid to reach out to others.
 
When someone says I
love you it's gonna change that
relationship, that friendship,
whatever it is - it's gonna change it and it
was something that was so special, so
pure, so... whatever it was - that it makes you
so uncertain.
That delay effect that they put where it
kind of drags on the last note, helps us
to create this dreamy environment. I
don't mean dreamy as in like a good
sweet dream. I mean dreamy as in the
world is feeling like it's falling
apart that you can no longer think
straight anymore and it feels like
you're in a dream by how horrible it is.
It's not happy or sad,
it's like melancholy. It's
that in-between feeling - there's
so much subtlety in in-between feelings
and we don't really talk about them. This
is one of those in-between feelings -
you're not happy, you're not sad, it's
just - it's bittersweet, it's just... *sigh*
I love the soft fade out effect because there's
sometimes no closure. If you're always
waiting for closure, it doesn't come.
It's more you have to survive, so you keep
pushing forward.
She is saying a line from every single
one of her songs on this album. But she
says them backwards. And the fact that
this last song falls down her list of
songs, into oblivion, and is called
goodbye... If somebody only heard bad guy
and didn't actually listen to the full
depth of the album, they wouldn't
understand the artistry and the mastery
that went behind this thing. Things that
are so hard to put into words that they
were able to capture through music... is
lost if you don't actually pay attention
through all the way.
It actually puts a different meaning
to those lines - because some of those
lines are from more upbeat songs and
when we heard it with that context, we
didn't understand just how dark those
actually meant until it was put into
this final piece that wraps it at all
together, this reprise.
The bite my tongue bit my time, in that song it was very
much like a power move, power lyric, right?
But, here it's reduced down to the reality of -
you're biting your tongue, you're biting
your time - you're nervous, you're anxious.
There's so much different meaning all of
a sudden in it. What is it about
those people? Why do I feel... so... like I
need to put on a front or whatever it is.
Like what is it about them, like why
do they get to my brain? Why do they
affect me? But it just really takes all
of these different lyrics and songs and
puts them and ties them together into
this concept.
I would really encourage to go back and
listen to the album again, now that
there's more understanding of how deep
and intricate this album actually is.
There are gonna be people who don't like
Billie Eilish and that's okay. Everyone has
different tastes and you know honestly
that's what makes this world beautiful
right? Like we don't have to hate on
other people's tastes, if it's not your
style, that's not your style. But, I think this
technique though of trying to understand
what is the artist trying to convey and
say. It leads us to a whole different
world of appreciation of music and the
power of music. If there's any legacy I
leave, I just want to be able to show
people that there is so much more than
what you always see on the surface and
that there is so much power in music.
Thank you guys so much for sticking
around and see you guys next time
Aquarians <3 bye ~
