

Karen Cogan

Copyright 2015

All Rights Reserved

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

About the Author

For a free read of one of my sweet contemporary romances CLICK HERE

### THE PRODIGAL HEART

CHAPTER ONE

Rachel shuddered at the prospect of being confined in this room for days, or even weeks. She shifted against the bench and tried to relax. How long had she been here? Six hours, at least. She gritted her teeth at the thought of the work she'd missed.

The prosecutor's voice droned at the woman down the row. "Mrs. Morris, have you ever been employed by a hospital?"

"No."

He moved to the next person. Rachel's heart began to race. It would be her turn soon. She prayed she would not be chosen for the jury. She wondered if it wrong to pray to be spared her responsibility. Then, again, her business depended on her presence.

The attorney moved down the row. Getting to Rachel, he smiled. "Miss Ashworth, do you have any relatives or close friends who have been treated at St. Francis hospital?"

Rachel thought. "No. I don't think so."

"Have you ever been a patient there?"

"No."

"Do you know anyone who works at St. Francis hospital?"

"Yes. I treat the Chief of Surgery's son at my learning resource center."

He nodded briefly and turned his attention to the next juror. When the final names were read, Rachel's was not among them. Relieved, she hurried from the courtroom.

It was almost five o'clock. It would be a forty-minute ride through Houston traffic to the parking lot where she had left her car. And her evening appointments began in an hour. There would be no time for dinner.

As she waited under the shelter for the bus, a young man wearing a white shirt that looked wilted from the humidity ducked in with his briefcase to wait beside her. He smiled and gestured toward the sky. The gray clouds were low. A slow drizzle began to fall.

"I'm new here. Does it rain all the time?"

She managed a weary smile. "Sometimes it seems like it does. At least, in January."

He took a step closer to make room for the people who were filling the shelter. "I'm from Albuquerque. It's a lot drier there. I feel like I'm growing mildew between my fingers here."

He smiled and she noticed the row of neat, white teeth. He was tan and well groomed. What could have brought him to a climate he disliked?

"I've lived here all my life, never had a reason to leave. What brought you here?" she asked.

"Law school. I just started this fall."

A young woman entered the shelter and his eyes wandered to long legs under a short skirt. He glanced back at Rachel. "Would you like to go to dinner?"

She shook her head. "I have to work tonight."

"How about tomorrow?"

"I have to work tomorrow night, too."

The bus arrived and the man smiled at Rachel. "Nice talking to you."

He edged closer to the woman in the skirt. The crowd boarded the bus and she noticed he'd managed a seat next to his new target. He didn't even glance her way when she passed. Good riddance.

She took a seat near the back and wondered what it would be like to have time for romance. It had been years since she'd been serious about a man. She told herself she didn't miss it. Her work was enough. It was rewarding and it filled her time.

Yet, as she watched the law student chat with the young woman, she felt a stab of loneliness. What would it be like to have someone waiting for her at home who would ask about her day? He would have to be willing to give up evening companionship for the sake of her job. Since that wasn't likely, she firmly closed the subject for the hundredth time.

She got off the bus when it reached the parking lot. With the hood of her gray all-weather coat pulled over her head, she slogged through drizzle to her old green Honda. She shivered, letting it warm up before she switched on the heater.

As she slipped into traffic, the swishing sound of tires reminded her to be careful on wet streets. She reined her instinct to hurry and concentrated on the glow of taillights, which broke into a red mosaic across the rain-splattered windshield. She stared straight ahead, peering between strokes of the wipers at the blurred shapes of cars. Her one consolation to this hectic drive at rush hour was that she hadn't gotten on the jury.

Her business partner, Terri, could have held down the fort for a day or two. Any longer, and the noose of financial pressure would have tightened around them. As it was, several appointments had to be rescheduled for Sunday afternoon.

She parked in front of her office. It was sandwiched between a shoe store and a pizza parlor in a strip mall that shared parking with a large discount center. During their dinner break, she and Terri took turns running out for fast food. Twice a week, they ordered the pizza special from the store next door. Today was to have been one of those days. Her stomach growled at the thought of hot pizza.

Her stomach would have to wait. She pulled open the door to see that Libby and her mother were already waiting. Smiling, she said, "Sorry I'm late. I had a jury summons and just got back."

The woman nodded sympathetically. "Did you get picked?"

"Fortunately, no."

"But you still had to drive back in all this rain. You must be exhausted." She turned to her daughter. "You be good today, you hear?"

Rachel smiled. "She's always good." She put her arm around the child's shoulders. "I've got everything ready. We'll start off with a game."

Libby bounced eagerly from the reception area to the cubicle where they worked. Room dividers set them apart from Terri's space and the front and back offices.

Libby had been shuffled between a number of foster homes, causing constant upheaval in her education. Now, having been adopted into a stable family, she was making rapid progress. She whizzed through a word game, flash cards, and two phonics homework papers before her session was over.

"You did great. Wait here a minute and I'll let you pick a prize."

Rachel passed Terri's instruction area on her way to get the box of plastic trinkets. Terri glanced up. "Saved you some pizza."

Rachael smiled. "Thanks."

"I need to talk to you later about something really odd."

"Okay." She sighed. What else could happen? She'd already weathered a close call at court. She hoped this wasn't about anything needing repair, time, or money.

Libby picked out a plastic bracelet and showed it to her mother. After sending her off, beaming from praise, Rachel glanced at her watch. There was ten minutes before her next appointment, just enough time for a quick snack. As soon as they cleared enough money, they were going to get a microwave. But for now, cold pizza would have to do.

She scurried to the back office which contained a small table, files, and bookshelves which housed much of their reference material. As soon as her tutoring session ended, Terri joined her. She sipped the remains of a soft drink and asked, "Do you know a Jonathon Parker?"

Rachel felt the pizza stick in her throat as she paused with the next bite touching her lips. Yes, she knew Jonathon Parker. Was there a day in the last ten years she hadn't thought of him? She nodded, a frown creasing her smooth, pale brow. "I know him. Why do you ask?"

"Because he called today. He has a kid in first grade who's having trouble at school. He wanted to talk to you about it. He insisted on an appointment at one o'clock tomorrow. I told him you might be stuck in court. You're supposed to call him after nine tonight if you can't be here tomorrow."

"Oh, am I now?" She felt her ire rising. After all this time he expected her to rearrange her schedule to accommodate him. Maybe he hadn't changed much since they'd parted. She thought of that day when they were seniors in high school, and sweethearts since their sophomore year. He was a football star, a tight end, tall and muscular. He'd given her his letter jacket.

And they were in love. Unable to stand the thought of being parted, they'd decided to attend the same college, get part-time jobs and marry. She'd spent countless hours dreaming about their wedding. She would carry deep red roses to compliment her dark red hair. And Jonathon would wear a black tux. His broad shoulders would be straight and tall as he and Rachel walked from the church to begin a new life. It had all been so perfect.

Then, near the end of their senior year, things began to change. Jonathon's parents were going through a painful divorce that affected him deeply.

At first, he'd spent a lot of time at her house, trying to escape his home life. Then, he hung out at parties with a wild crowd who idolized him as a football star. After his parents' separation, fawning girls and drinking buddies soothed his pain in ways she was unwilling to join or compete. The closeness they had enjoyed began to evaporate. She remembered well their last conversation.

He'd had been waiting for her by her locker. "I'll give you a ride home," he offered. Her naive heart warmed. It had been two weeks since he'd called. Maybe he was tired of the wild crowd. Maybe things could go back the way they were before.

They walked in silence to his red sports car, a present on his sixteenth birthday from his dad. As he started the car, he glanced toward her. "Whatcha been doin?"

She met his eyes and felt hopeful. It was a warm April day, flowers were blooming and there was the scent of honeysuckle in the air. It was a perfect day for making up.

"I've been looking over college packets and playing a little tennis."

He completed the two-block drive and parked in front of her house. He studied her a moment. "All you do is hang around the house and talk to your mother or play tennis with your sister. There's another world out there. One you don't even know about." His voice held a note of scorn.

"I do other things," she protested defensively. "I study and go to church activities."

He rolled his eyes. "All the things your parents want you to do. Are they going to keep you a baby all your life? When are you going to grow up and join the real world?"

"Is that what you're doing? Growing up? You used to want to be something, do something with your life. Now all you want to do is hang around the wild crowd and get drunk."

His eyes narrowed and he faced her with sudden anger. "You have a neat little life all laid out, don't you? You're going to graduate and go to college and make your mama proud. You'll teach for awhile and then get married and have two kids. Yet, things don't always work out like you plan and that includes me. You're trying to keep me on a leash and I don't like it. Loosen up or we're through."

She looked down at her hands. Her eyes filled with tears. She was gripping her books tightly, avoiding his eyes. "I don't like your new friends and I won't hang out with them."

For a long moment, neither spoke. Then he said softly, "I care about you. I really do. But I'm not going to let anybody keep me in a cage. I want to be free without feeling like you disapprove all the time."

"How can I help it? The guys you hang around with are always drunk and some of those girls have bad reputations."

He was silent a moment. She hoped he would say she was right and he would change. How naive she was.

Instead, he sighed and replied, "Then I guess we're through."

She looked into his dark eyes. They were sad, yet his jaw was clenched in a determined set. There was nothing else to say. They were through.

"I'll get your jacket," she said. Shedding her broken dreams, she ran in to retrieve it and pass it to him through the car window. Biting her lower lip, she willed it to stop trembling.

"Thanks." He took the jacket without looking at her.

She watched him drive away, knowing she lost part of her heart when she handed him the jacket.

The hurt lasted a long time. Though her family did their best to comfort her, it was to no avail. She had gone to the prom with one of his ex-friends. He hadn't even shown up. And she had never forgiven him for ruining her dreams.

She became aware of Terri's curious eyes studying her face. "Is this guy some kind of secret?"

"He's no secret. Just an old boyfriend. I cared about him a lot a long time ago, but he let me down."

"Sorry. He sounded nice on the phone, concerned about his kid. He was a little pushy about the appointment though. Are you going to see him?"

"I guess so. We could use the business. Also, I'm curious about what happened with him. I assumed he'd thrown his life away on alcohol and drugs. I wonder how he found me."

"I don't know. He didn't say."

"I guess I'll find out tomorrow."

A new student arrived and she pushed thoughts about Jonathon to a corner of her mind where they chased each other in circles. Did she want to face him again? She couldn't decide.

Later, as they closed, Terri said, "I have to be here tomorrow at three for a new math student, but I'll come a little early to hear about your friend. I'm dying of curiosity."

"I doubt there will be much to tell. I hope he's reformed from his wild years and is happily married. Anyway, all I care about is how to help his child, assuming he can afford our service."

As she spoke, she knew it was a lie. She had spent countless time wondering where he had gone and what had become of him. She never thought she would have a reason to find out.

She slept lightly, waking often until her alarm went off at seven o'clock. She slid her legs out from underneath the cover and shivered. The carpet felt cool and damp beneath her toes.

She silenced the alarm and pulled aside the blinds to see a dreary morning fog. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen anything but rain. Today promised to be more of the same.

No matter. Her schedule would require her to get a bit wet. She had to visit the teacher supply store, keep an appointment with a student's teacher and plan lessons for the day. Later, she would see Jonathon.

She stood in front of the mirror and applied a small amount of blush, and then, eye shadow. Checking her job, she saw determination in her gaze. She wasn't the sad-eyed schoolgirl he remembered. She was a professional woman and nothing that had passed between them mattered anymore.

She tucked a printed chintz blouse into her dark skirt and fastened a belt around her waist. Pausing a moment to study her reflection in the floor length mirror, she tried to remember what she looked like as a high school girl. Except for the style change of her dark red hair, now permed into wispy bangs and waves that fell to her shoulders, she looked nearly the same.

What about Jonathan? The thought made her smile. She had never really gotten over him. Perhaps this was her chance. How much would he resemble the lean and muscular football player she remembered?

He would probably be paunchy, with the sallow look of someone who has lived wild and hard. When she saw him she would be glad they had broken up and all her silly girlish memories would finally be laid to rest.

The morning went fast. She ordered the supplies and finished the conference. Glancing at her watch, she saw it was almost noon. There was a drive-thru just down the block from the school. She ordered a take-out salad and headed for her office.

Settled at her desk, she planned to spend the next hour working on lesson plans for her afternoon students. But her thoughts refused to focus. Every time a car door shut in the parking lot she jumped. Several times, she left her cubbyhole to look out the front glass.

Just before one o'clock, she tossed out the remainder of her salad and straightened the cushions on the white wicker chairs in the reception area. Moments later, a white sedan pulled in front of the building and parked. The drizzle had subsided, allowing the sun to break through. Glare on the chrome made it difficult to see the driver. Even so, she knew instinctively that he had arrived.

The door opened and a tall, well-built man in a dark blue suit stepped from the car. He reached the office door in less than five steps and her heart began to pound. This was not the broken shell of a man she had expected. This man moved with the power and purpose of a lion in his prime.

She stood beside the wicker chair and composed her face into a cool mask as she waited for him to enter. He opened the door and stood for a moment framed in the doorway. His jet-black hair was neatly groomed and the white collar of his shirt set off his sun bronzed skin. The deep brown eyes she remembered so well locked with hers and his firm jaw relaxed slightly as he smiled. "It's good to see you again. It's been a long time," he said.

He extended his hand and she reciprocated, her small pale fingers lost in his broad grip. It was as though the years had dropped away, leaving her confused. He was familiar, and yet, a stranger.

"It has been a long time," she agreed softly. "Please sit down." She gestured to the wicker chairs.

He paused a moment as though questioning whether it would hold his muscular frame, then sank slowly into the cushioned seat.

She summoned her business voice. "So, you have a child who needs tutoring. How did you know about my service?"

"There was a high school reunion last spring. You didn't go." There was a note of accusation in his voice.

She hadn't gone precisely to avoid the pain of meeting him after all these years. She ignored his tone and waited for him to continue.

"Anyway, the committee put out a booklet telling where everybody was and what they were doing. Didn't you get one?"

"No. I moved after I filled out the form. I guess the booklet never caught up with me."

"I read you'd started a tutoring service. My son came to live with me this fall. He's having trouble keeping up with his work. I thought you might be able to help him."

"I could try. How old is your son?"

"He's six."

"First grade?"

He nodded. "His teacher says he doesn't pay attention. It's really no wonder. The kid's had a rough year."

His gaze locked on her eyes. "Have you been tutoring the last ten years?"

"No. I finished college and taught for five years. Then, last year, my business partner and I opened this learning center. It keeps me busy."

A wry smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "That doesn't surprise me. I always thought you'd stick to your plans."

She bristled. "I enjoyed teaching and I love having my own business, so I guess they were good plans. What about you? What have you done since high school?"

"Not much at first. I was pretty mixed up for awhile. I'm sure you remember. After almost flunking my first year of college, I got my act straight and pulled good grades. I was accepted at law school and graduated in the top ten percent of my class. I've been with the same firm for the last two years. I've thought about you a lot over those years. Your influence prompted me to make something of myself. Do you approve?"

His gaze was direct but there was vulnerability in his eyes that belied his confident voice.

"Frankly, I am surprised. I didn't think you were on a very straight course."

"I wasn't. But I'm glad I got my life together for Ricky's sake. My wife was killed in a car accident. We were separated at the time. After the accident, I got custody of Ricky. It's been a hard adjustment for both of us. But I want him to grow up in a good home."

Feeling jolted, she nodded and uncrossed her arms. "I'm sorry. I can certainly understand how hard things have been."

When he told her he was a lawyer, she imagined him happily settled with a proper corporate wife. Instead, he was alone with a small son to raise.

She drew her attention back to the reason for his visit. "So Ricky's teacher says he has trouble paying attention?"

"Yes. I have the same problem with him at home. I have to tell him to do something ten times before he listens."

"It's hard to concentrate when you're upset. Maybe he just needs a little extra attention. I won't know until I evaluate him. Would you like me to check my schedule and see when I have an appointment for you to bring him in?"

He nodded. She could feel his eyes following her as she crossed to the desk to get the appointment book. She paused to compose herself as she scanned the page. His reformation had been such a complete surprise it had given him the advantage and caught her off-guard. The best she could hope for was to impress him with the fact she had become a successful businesswoman.

She put her finger on a four o'clock appointment and glanced up to see him watching her. He smiled. "You know, you haven't changed much since high school. It must be the result of a clean life. Ten years ago I knew you were right. I just couldn't admit it. I was bent on self-destruction."

"I'm glad you didn't succeed."

His eyes locked with hers. She felt her heartbeat quicken as she focused on his lean and handsome face. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the door open. The spell was broken as Terri walked inside. "I decided to come in early and do a little work. Don't let me interrupt."

"You're not." Rachel's assurance was a little too swift. "This is Jonathon Parker. Jonathon, this is Terri Walters, my partner."

He stood, towering above Terri as he shook her hand. "It's good to meet you."

Rachel explained. "We were just setting an appointment for testing his son. "How about tomorrow at four?"

He nodded. "I'll see that he gets here." He glanced at his watch. "I better get back to the office. There's a pile of work on my desk."

"Don't you want to know what I charge for the evaluation?" Rachel asked.

"I'm sure it's a fair price. I'm relieved you can work him in. I'll be glad to pay whatever it costs."

"It's fifty-five dollars. Due after the session."

"That's fine." He gave a short wave and stepped to the door. "It was good to meet you Terri and good to see you, Rachel. Thanks for taking on Ricky."

Memory of his kisses assailed her and she banished them quickly. "I'll let you know what he needs."

He nodded and stepped through the door. Both women watched wordlessly as he strode to the car. As he backed out of the lot, Terri said, "So that's your derelict boyfriend?"

"It turns out he became a lawyer. I was pretty surprised."

Terri seated herself on the chair. "Tell me about him."

She repeated what he had told her.

"So, he's single now and searching for you?" Terri asked.

"As a tutor for his son."

"Don't be so sure."

She tried to ignore the small flicker of excitement Terri's words put in her heart. Despite her best efforts she couldn't help looking forward to the next afternoon when she would see him again.
CHAPTER TWO

Though she meant to stay detached, Rachel found herself curiously awaiting Ricky's appointment. He represented a part of Jonathon's history that had not been part of her life and was the reason Jonathon would be back this afternoon. Though she would not admit it, the thought made her heart beat quickly in anticipation.

When four o'clock came with no sign of Ricky, she began to watch the clock. Had Jonathon changed his mind? Had he re-entered her life only to vanish like a figment of her imagination.

She paced for awhile, and then settled nervously at the front desk, sorting the mail and looking out the window. At four-fifteen, a dark car pulled up and parked. She watched as the door swung open and the driver stepped out. The woman was short and stocky and wore a belted beige coat that bunched around her waist.

A dark-haired boy slid from the passenger side. He was small and wiry. The windbreaker he wore didn't look warm enough for such a cold afternoon. She frowned. Surely this was Ricky. Where was Jonathon?

They came through the glass doors and paused at the reception area. Rachel rose, her brow puckering, as the woman nudged the boy inside.

"Hello, I'm Nina Jenkins and this is my grandson, Ricky Parker. He is here to be tested."

"Yes. I'm expecting him. I'm Rachel Ashworth. I'll be working with him today."

"I understand this will take about an hour. I'll wait here, if it's all right."

"That will be fine." She smiled as she studied the woman whose dyed red hair and eyes too heavily lined with mascara did nothing to flatter her aging face. Wrinkles spread from the corners of her mouth. Yet, her light blue eyes were lively. She had, no doubt, been an attractive woman in her youth.

Rachael reached out to Ricky. "You can call me Rachel. We'll be testing and playing games today. I'll show you where we'll be working."

He took her hand meekly as she led him to the cubicle. His brown eyes reminded her of Jonathon. Yet there was something lacking in his spirit. He hadn't smiled or met her eyes. He'd simply stared at the floor. Perhaps he would open up when they were alone.

She led him to a desk which faced a partition and patted one of the small chairs. "You can sit next to me."

He took a seat and she began to test him on some basic first grade concepts. It was soon apparent he was woefully behind in both math and reading skills. As they moved to a phonics game, he fidgeted in his seat.

"Choose a picture card and tell me the sound of the beginning letter. If you get it right, you move ahead. If you miss, I move ahead."

The first card was a dog. To her surprise he answered with the correct sound. Then, he asked. "Do you have a dog?"

"No. I have a cat."

"My dad says I can have a dog sometime."

Having him open up to her was a positive step. "That will be fun. What will you name your dog?"

"Wolf or maybe Tiger, something tough. When I get a dog nobody's going to hurt me `cause my dog will bite them."

"It's your turn to draw a card. Maybe you'll get a picture of a tiger." She tried to bring his attention back to the game. But it was no use. He spent most of the last fifteen minutes of the hour describing his wished-for dog. She gave up trying to direct his attention back to the task. No need to push. They could spend the few minutes left getting to know each other.

Shortly after five, she packed up the game and led him to his grandmother. Nina delivered a charming smile. "I hope he was a good boy."

"Yes. He was fine and I have a good idea of what he needs to work on. He could benefit from a few weeks of tutoring."

"I'll tell Jonathon. He's asked me to bring Ricky as often as you think he needs to come."

She fought a twinge of disappointment. It seemed as though she was unlikely to see Jonathon again. "Once a week would be good. It's nice you can help out."

"Oh, I don't mind. I try to be available whenever I can. Jonathon's been under terrible stress. When my daughter died, I thought he would die too. I think he felt guilty for not being more patient with her. He should have been, you know. Though she was a bit flighty, everyone loved her."

Rachel's curiosity overtook her disappointment. What had Jonathon done to be less than patient with his ex-wife? He had been moody in high school, but he had certainly never been cruel.

She looked into Nina's eyes. "I'm sure she was a lovely person."

Nina nodded. "Eva was a very delicate girl, frail and sweet. I'm afraid Ricky takes more after his dad." She lifted Ricky's chin with her finger and looked into his face as he stood motionless beside her.

Rachel frowned, thinking it strange he didn't pull away as most children would have done. Nina was an odd woman and Ricky an odd child. They must have been deeply affected by Eva's death.

Nina dropped his chin and turned to Rachel. "Same time next week?"

"That will be fine. Here are some forms. I'll need a signature on the bottom of the last paper."

Nina nodded. "I'll take them to Jonathon." She reached into her purse. "He asked me to give you this."

She handed over a signed check. "Fill it out for the amount of your testing fee." Without another word, she grasped Ricky's shoulders and steered him out the door.

During the next week, Rachel waited for a call from Jonathon. She was sure he would want to know how Ricky's first session had gone. Yet, the call never came.

When the next appointment arrived, she hoped he would bring his son. Her hopes were dashed when she saw Nina pull up in her long sedan. Apparently his grandmother had complete charge of him during the week. Determined not to show her disappointment, she smiled broadly as they entered.

"How are you today?" she asked Ricky.

"Okay," he murmured.

"He brought along some school work and a note to you from his teacher." Nina sank heavily into a wicker chair. "Ricky needs a firm hand. Tutoring wouldn't be necessary if he had a teacher who knew how to handle him. She doesn't insist he pay attention. I've offered to teach him at home, but Jonathon thinks he should stay in school. He's counting on your tutoring to help him catch up. I suppose if Jonathon wants to spend the money, it's worth a try." She let her words trail off with a sigh.

"If there's a problem at school maybe I could help. I'd be glad to talk to the teacher."

Nina shrugged. "It won't help. She's just not good with children like Ricky."

Rachel looked down at the small boy standing beside her. He didn't seem like the classroom terror. She opened the note and scanned the information. Ricky needed to work on skills in phonics and simple addition. Yet, according to his teacher, the main problem was his lack of attention.

It was a polite note, inviting her to contact the teacher if she had questions about what they were covering. She seemed quite willing to work with Ricky. Perhaps Nina was wrong about this teacher. She decided to make an appointment and find out.

Getting to business, she took Ricky to the cubicle and brought out a phonics kit. "We're going to play games. I'll show you a card and you tell me the beginning letter for each picture."

He tried hard to concentrate on the first few cards, but soon began to squirm. "I used to have a fish, but he died."

"Really? I'm sorry. Maybe you can get another."

"I don't think so. Grandma doesn't want fish."

Try as she could, she found it impossible to keep Ricky's mind on his work. Half-way through the session, he squirmed out of his chair and stood beside her. They finished the game with Ricky bouncing near her elbow. One thing Nina was right about was that he didn't keep his mind on his work.

When the session was over, she asked Nina. "Could you ask Jonathon to give me a call? There's something I want to discuss with him."

The painted eyebrows rose. "Jonathon's out of town. London, in fact. You can talk to me."

She felt an unreasonable irritation rise. What kind of parent was Jonathon that he would abdicate the raising of his child to his late wife's mother? Like it or not, Jonathon was going to take some responsibility if she dealt with Ricky.

Forcing a sweet smile, she said, "Since Jonathon is Ricky's guardian, it would be best if I talked to him personally about how to proceed. If he calls, ask him to call me, okay?"

Though her eyebrows drew into a scowl, Nina nodded. Without a word, she took Ricky's hand and led him out the door.

The next morning, the phone rang just before Rachel's alarm clock buzzed. She answered sleepily.

"Rachel?" There was a smooth masculine voice on the other end.

"Jonathon?" Her mind jolted awake. She had asked him to call. She tried to remember why. Recovering quickly she said, "I need to talk with you about Ricky."

As she hesitated, he replied. "I just talked to Nina. She said it was urgent that I call you. I've only got a few minutes. If it's quick, you can tell me now, or wait until Friday when I get back."

She bristled at the brusqueness. "I wanted your permission to talk to Ricky's teacher. I think it will help. That's all I need from you."

"That's fine. Do whatever you think is best. I've got to go. I'll talk to you when I get back."

"Fine. You do that." She hung up the phone and muttered, "I'm not your servant Jonathon Parker and don't you forget it."

###

Rachael glanced at her watch as she strode down the hall toward Ricky's classroom. The murmur of children's voices made her feel nostalgic. She loved her work at the learning center, yet there was still a part of her that missed schoolroom teaching.

She walked into Ricky's classroom and smiled at the round-faced matronly woman who sat behind the desk. After making introductions, Rachel said, "Thank you for agreeing to see me. I've just started tutoring Ricky and I've heard he has problems at school."

"Problems? I should say so." Paula Jeffries lifted her sturdy frame from the chair. "The child has the attention span of a gnat. I know he's had a big adjustment moving in with his father this year, but I have to say this boy is driving me crazy. Let's sit over here and I'll show you his recent papers and tests." She gestured toward a round reading table upon which the papers were spread.

Rachael felt a twinge of sympathy for Mrs. Jeffries. Inattentive children were a real challenge. "Ricky has been under a lot of stress. Do you think that accounts for his being behind in his work?"

"Could be." Mrs. Jeffries brushed back a strand of short gray hair. "He's immature. He doesn't pay attention and then he gets frustrated when he can't do the work. I'd say it's more lack of discipline than lack of brains. I know the grandmother blames me, but, after all, I do have a classroom of twenty-two first graders to deal with.

"Then he's a discipline problem?"

Mrs. Jeffries looked thoughtful. "He doesn't bother the other children or disrupt the class. He just doesn't pay attention and I don't have time to personally tutor one little boy. Teachers are expected to accomplish the impossible these days. Maybe the extra help you give him will catch him up."

Rachel nodded. "I've found him to be easily distracted, too. And what you've told me has been helpful. It makes me wonder if he has an attention deficit disorder. I'm going to discuss it with his father."

Mrs. Jeffries leaned toward Rachel. "If you find a way to help this boy, I'll be thrilled, but I'm at the limit of what I can do."

Rachel smiled at her. "I know. It's hard to give individual attention to so many students. But I think Ricky can be helped."

They spent the next ten minutes looking over his papers and discussing his work. Then, glancing at the clock, Mrs. Jeffries concluded the meeting by saying, "I've got to get my kids from P.E. If there's anything else I can help with, let me know. I'll send his work home for you to look over when you tutor him each week."

"That would be great. Thanks."

Rachael left with a strong suspicion she knew Ricky's problem. Now, if she could get hold of the absent Mr. Parker, perhaps something could be done to help. She fumed as she remembered the conversation from London. He was paying for her assistance. Was it too much to ask that he keep in touch about the progress of his son?

When she got to the office, it was almost noon. Terri was already there. "Guess what! I had the most marvelous date last night. I haven't been able to think about anything else all morning. If you'd been at the spa this morning for our workout, I could have told you about it."

"I know. I had to see Ricky's teacher on her off-period."

"How did it go?"

"She's not like the grandmother made her sound. She's just overworked. Now tell me about your dream date."

Terri launched into the result of her blind date. It took her until well after lunch to fill in all the details. "He lives all the way out in Spring. I may have to move out there, too."

There was a teasing light in her eyes, but Rachel had a strong feeling she would be willing to do it. "You'd be a long way from work."

"You haven't met this guy. It would be worth it."

Rachel brushed aside a twinge of envy, imagining Jonathon's handsome face. She knew she had expected too much. After their first meeting, she had looked forward to further contact. Now it seemed that was something he wasn't eager to pursue.

Her cell phone rang Saturday morning just as she stepped from the shower. She wrapped a fuzzy yellow towel around her and scurried for the phone.

"Hello."

"Hello, Rachel. It's me."

She recognized the smooth voice and felt irritated he would suppose she would. Did Jonathon assume he was the only man who ever called?

"I'm the worse from jet lag, but I'm back," he continued. "It was a killer trip. We're helping some clients dissolve a corporation and reinvest their funds. It's the second time I've been there in the last month."

She tightened her hold on the towel. "I'm sure Ricky's glad you're back."

"I haven't seen him yet. He spent the night with Nina."

"I talked to his teacher. She seems to think he has a problem with his attention span. So do I. I think you should have him tested to see if he has an attention deficit."

"Can you do it?"

"No, but I can recommend a good psychiatrist. I'm tutoring a child she's treated for an attention deficit disorder."

There was silence for a moment. Then he said, "This is heavy stuff, especially since I thought he was just a little behind in his work. I need more information before I can make a decision. I have to leave for the office in a minute, so maybe you could have dinner with me tonight and tell me more about it."

"That really isn't necessary. We close at five on Saturdays. You could come in this afternoon."

"I don't think I can get away by then. Could we meet at seven at Tony's?"

She hesitated. She had gone there with him when they wanted to celebrate something special. Would it dredge up old memories?

"How about meeting me in the office during the week?" she asked.

"If tonight won't work, I'm afraid it will be several days before I'll have any free time. I'm leaving tomorrow morning for a meeting in LA," he said.

"You aren't home much are you?"

"Not much. That's the price of success at this job."

She sighed. "Okay. I'll meet you at seven and we can talk about Ricky."

"See you then."

All through her busy Saturday she struggled to keep her mind on her small students. Terri was anticipating a date with her new boyfriend and was equally distracted. When five o'clock came, it was a race to see who would beat the other out the door.

At home, Rachel dressed carefully for dinner. After rustling through her closet several times, she chose a mint-colored dinner dress with a high neckline. The color complimented her green eyes and set off her wavy copper hair that rested softly on her shoulders. It also set the tone for the professional image she wanted to present.

At six-thirty, she pulled out of her parking spot and headed for Tony's. In a half-hour she would be sitting at a table, struggling with memories she should have forgotten ten years ago.

She repeated Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Though it could be God's plan to bring Jonathon and Ricky into her life, she would have to be careful of the romantic stirrings that Jonathon might evoke in her heart.

She sighed as she pulled into the restaurant lot just before seven and left her car to be parked. She walked inside, determined not to be led astray by her emotions.

She glanced around. There was no sign of Jonathon.

The hostess surveyed her expectantly.

"I'm meeting Jonathon Parker," Rachel said.

The woman glanced down. "He hasn't arrived yet. Would you like to wait for him in the bar?"

She nodded and made her way to a room just beyond the hostess. She seated herself and ordered a soda. The restaurant was crowded and she felt conspicuous sitting alone on a stool. It was seven-fifteen. Where was Jonathon?

She glanced up to see a man watching her. She avoided his interest, keeping her eyes on the door as she finished her soda. How could Jonathon put her in such an uncomfortable position? If he didn't show up, he could find someone else to tutor his son.

Her anxious gaze turned to relief as she saw him coming towards her, preceded by a hostess. She slid from the stool and smoothed her skirt.

"Sorry I'm late," he said. "I got an international phone call.

She fought the urge to give a sarcastic reply, saying instead, "It's all right. I understand."

Despite her irritation, she was keenly aware of his nearness as he walked beside her. The dark jacket, which hung upon his broad shoulders, brushed her back as he settled her in a velvet-cushioned chair. He seated himself across the table and she saw his mouth draw into a slow smile.

"It's been a long time hasn't it?"

Seeing the nostalgia in his eyes, she felt her irritation drain away. Lost in his gaze, she was startled when a waiter appeared. "May I get you something from the bar?"

She shook her head. "I'd like a glass of tea."

He turned to Jonathon. "You, sir?"

"Just water. Thanks."

He handed them menus and promised to return.

She watched quizzically as Jonathon rotated his water glass. "You don't drink anymore?"

"No. It left a bad taste in my mouth, if you'll pardon the pun. A lot of bad things have happened in my life from too much drinking."

He took a sip of water and asked, "How about you? You were engaged. How come you never got married?"

"How did you know I was engaged?"

"I called after Eva and I separated. I wanted your advice. Your mother said you were engaged and didn't think you'd want to talk to me."

"I never knew you called."

"I did call. I wanted more than anything in the world to talk to you. I figured you got married and lived happily ever after. Then, I decided I better get on with my life. I'd wasted a lot of time."

"So you chose to become a lawyer."

"Yes. I thought if I could just become successful, all the pain would go away."

"Did it?"

"No. But the discipline of law school helped me straighten out my life."

The waiter returned. Rachel realized she had given no thought to her order. Instinctively, she turned to her favorite from years ago. "I'll have chicken cordon bleu."

"And I'll have filet mignon." Jonathon turned to her with a smile. "I guess your taste hasn't changed."

"Not in some things."

He sat silent a moment staring at her face. "So why didn't you get married and live happily ever after? I'm sure whoever you were dating was an improvement over your memories of me."

She felt a bittersweet pang at the thought of her engagement. Her memories of Jonathon had been too fresh during the time she was engaged. She knew that was a large part of the reason she had been unable to go through with the wedding.

"He was a nice guy, really sweet, but there just weren't the right feelings there to build a lifetime of commitment. We broke it off long before invitations went out."

She stirred her tea and decided she had said enough about her personal life. "What about you? How long were you married?"

"We were married four years when Eva died. I met her when we were freshmen. She was a party girl and we had a good time. We married the next year. My mom sent money to help us with expenses. I guess she hoped marriage would help me settle down. But it didn't. Eva and I drank and partied for a whole year. Then we started fighting. I didn't like the way she acted when she was drunk. I didn't like the way I acted either. I swore off drinking. It was tough, but I quit. Eva didn't."

The waiter arrived with salads. She waited for him to leave, in the hope Jonathon would continue his story. When he lapsed into silence, she asked, "Did things get any better after Ricky was born?"

He shook his head, his eyes showing he had not forgotten the pain in his past. "I wasn't home much. I just couldn't take it any more. It was my first year of law school. I needed peace and time to study. Eva wanted to be entertained. She'd quit school and worked part-time at a floral shop. At night she wanted to party. I knew the only way I was going to get a law degree was to spend my time in the law library."

Rachael thought about what Nina had told her about Eva. "Ricky's grandmother said her daughter was very beautiful."

She watched his face, still so familiar. His jaw set stubbornly as he snared a bite of salad. "Nina blames me for the problems, for not being there for her daughter. Maybe she's right. Yet, Eva, beautiful as she was, was bent on self-destruction. I didn't want to destruct with her."

They finished their salads which were promptly whisked away and replaced by the delicious smells of steak and chicken. She took a bite of the steamed asparagus from its bed of white rice. Everything was as she remembered. The restaurant, the food, even the polite and proficient waiters could have been the same. But the boy who had sat across from her had turned into a man. And the years had been very kind.

His broad shoulders were straight, his body lean and tan. She watched him pick up his glass, his hands strong and sure. Watching him, she could almost believe she had traveled to the past and was out on a Saturday night with the man he had hoped to marry. Yet, there was something different about him now. He possessed a confidence the boy had lacked. The restlessness had passed, leaving steely determination. If possible, he was more attractive now than before.

"Is your dinner all right?" he asked.

She flushed, realizing the chicken she had placed on her fork was sitting uneaten. "It's fine." She took a bite and avoided his eyes.

When she dared look up, she saw he was smiling at her, revealing white teeth neatly aligned behind alluring lips. It was a friendly smile, full of warmth.

"I used to wish I could read your mind," he said. "You weren't only the prettiest girl at school, you were the most serious. Always so directed. You had life all figured out. I used to think you had everything. You were smart, you had a great home life. When things fell apart in my life, I was jealous of you. I let it come between us. I shouldn't have."

She looked into his eyes and remembered how it felt to be in his arms, to gaze into those dark eyes as his lips came near for a kiss. She remembered so much. Too much, she told herself.

Jonathon had said nothing about a relationship with the Lord, something terribly important if she were to let her feelings deepen. Somehow she had to break the spell that was being woven between them.

Without looking up, she cut a bite of chicken and put it decisively into her mouth. "What matters now is Ricky, and what can be done to help him. I don't think his problems at school can be explained only by the trauma he's suffered. He has many of the symptoms of a child who has an attention deficit. If so, there is medication that can be given to help him concentrate. That's why I think you should have him evaluated."

He sighed, looking resigned. "Something has to be done. It seems like every time I turn around he's disobeying me. I've caught him with matches twice. He has this thing about fire. Maybe you're right and a psychiatrist is the answer."

"More like a place to start. If I'm right about his problem, it's important to get him started on treatment while he's young. By the time these kids get to their teens it can be hard to help them."

He nodded. "Do you have the name of a good psychiatrist?"

"I brought a name and number."

She dug into her purse and produced a small square of paper. She watched as he read it, then, slid it into his shirt pocket.

They finished their dinners and ordered coffee. When it arrived, he took a long sip and said, "I wasn't ready for Ricky when he came to live with me. I could have given custody to Nina. I thought about it, but I knew if I did, I'd never see him. I'd never know my son. I want to be a good father. I really want to try."

She looked into his earnest face, almost boyish now, and felt her heart go out to him. He'd traveled a hard road during the last ten years. She wanted to erase all the pain and start over again. Since that wasn't possible, she would help all she could to make things easier with Ricky.

They finished their coffee and he paid the tab. As they left, she was aware of the admiring glances that were cast their way. They looked good together. Wasn't that what her friends had always said?

They stood together as they waited for the attendants to bring their cars. She wished they had truly been on a date. She wished they could be a couple again, sharing good times. But so much had happened. Surely they were different people from the high school sweethearts who dated so long ago.

She wished she knew what he was thinking. As though reading her mind, he looked into her eyes. "I've had a good time tonight. I hate for it to be over."

She smiled. "I had a good time, too."

"Do you suppose we might need another conference after I get the results from the psychiatrist?"

Slipping into his trap like a bird who chooses the cage, she said, "Yes, I think we might."

"Since I'll be out of town on Monday, I'll have Nina call for his appointment."

Her gaze caught his and she was all profession. "The doctor will want to talk to you, too. She'll have questions about his behavior at home. It's important that you be there."

His face clouded slightly. "Nina probably knows more about him. She kept him while I was in school and Eva went out partying. Then he lived with her after Eva died and I finished law school. I've only had Ricky with me for the last two years. But I'll see what I can do."

Business first? She bit back the question as the attendant pulled up with her car. The evening had been lovely and she didn't want to spoil it. Yet she knew she would have to make him see he couldn't successfully raise this child without investing a substantial amount of his time. Something would have to give. She planned to lead him gently in the right direction, helping him to understand Ricky's need for him.

"Let me know what the doctor says about Ricky," she said, looking into his dark eyes. Her heart beat quickened at his response. He took her hand in his large palm and squeezed it gently. The expression in his eyes brought back memories of warm nights and tender kisses.

She swallowed hard and tried to smile. What she felt frightened her. Her life had been orderly, her emotions under control. Now he had returned to send her orderly feelings into a whirl.

He released her hand. She whispered softly, "Good-night," and slipped into her car.

CHAPTER THREE

The winter sun broke weakly through low clouds as Rachel arrived at the exercise studio on Monday morning. The red Toyota parked in the lot told her Terri was already there. She would have to hurry if she wanted to join the group in time for warm-ups.

She hurried to the locker room to pull off her sweatshirt and jeans and emerge clad in a skin-tight leotard to join the group. Pausing in a leg lift, Terri glanced at her svelte figure and said, "I was starting to wonder if you were coming. If you quit, I'd never have the discipline to keep at this."

Rachel raised her eyebrows at her partner, whose chubby frame was showing improvement. "I'll be here to keep you honest, three times a week every week for the rest of your life."

Terri grimaced. "I was afraid of that."

Rachel never failed to ride her exercise bike on the days she didn't do aerobics. Her tendency toward compulsion made it hard to understand Terri's lack of discipline. Once, Terri had pointed to Rachel's exercise bike and said, "I had one of those, but I never rode it, so I sold it at a garage sale."

Appalled that Terri did nothing for exercise, Rachel signed them up for Jazzercise when a center opened near their office. The dedication had rubbed off on Terri who hadn't missed a class in three months.

When the work-out was over, they stopped off for take-out salads and retreated to the office to work on paperwork until their three o'clock appointments began. Just before the first session, the phone rang. Rachel answered it and was surprised to hear Nina on the other end.

Without initial pleasantry, Nina lit in. "Jonathon told me the nonsense about taking Ricky to a psychiatrist. How stupid! Why would a six- year- old child need a psychiatrist?"

Collecting her thoughts, Rachel seized a pause in Nina's tirade. "Didn't Jonathon explain that Ricky may have a physical problem that requires medication? We want to have him evaluated and find out. That's all."

"Do you realize what this will do to Ricky? Everybody will find out, his teachers, other kids. They'll think he's crazy, all because of you."

Rachel took a calming breath and tried to reply evenly, "It's not like that anymore. Lots of children need help for things they can't control, like attention deficits."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with Ricky except that he just lost the best mother a child could have."

"I know he's been through a lot, yet I don't think it explains the problems he's having."

"Well, Jonathon can choose to humor you, but I certainly won't. It's a bunch of nonsense."

Rachel rolled her eyes at Terri who was now listening to Rachel's end of the conversation. Struggling to control her rising irritation, she replied, "I guess we'll find out when Ricky sees the doctor."

"There's not going to be any doctor. Jonathon's only humoring you, so forget it." With that curt reply, Nina hung up, leaving Rachel holding the phone.

"What was all that about?" Terri asked.

"I've just been told off by Ricky Parker's grandmother. She says Jonathon has no intention of taking Ricky for evaluation. I guess we'll see about that."

Rachel was aware of Terri's wide-eyed stare as she stormed over to her Rolodex and looked up Jonathon's work number. Finding it, she quickly punched in the numbers and waited until a cool voice said, "Good afternoon. Lowell and Thompson Attorneys at Law. May I help you?"

"Yes. I'm trying to reach Mr. Parker."

"One moment, please."

She waited impatiently while her call was transferred.

"Jonathon Parker's office. May I help you?"

"Yes. This is Rachel Ashworth. I'd like to speak to Mr. Parker about a personal matter. Is he in?"

"I'm sorry. Mr. Parker is out of town. If it's important, I can give him the message when he calls in."

She sighed, remembering Jonathon had told her he was going to Los Angeles. "Yes. Please have him call me when he checks in."

She left her number and hung up.

Turning to Terri, she said, "He'll call back when he gets the message. I don't believe the grandmother, so I want to hear it from Jonathon."

Terri nodded. "She's a strange woman."

Rachel couldn't have agreed more. She spent the rest of the afternoon tutoring her small clients and listening for his call. By the time she locked the door at nine o'clock, she was annoyed. Why hadn't he returned her call? Perhaps he hadn't gotten the message. Or perhaps, Nina was telling the truth.

She drove home with a sinking heart. If he didn't respect her judgment enough to accept her advice, she could not continue to tutor Ricky. By the time she reached home, her spirits were low. She should not have allowed herself any contact with Jonathon. It could only lead to another disappointment.

She had just climbed into bed when the phone rang. She reached to the bedside table and clutched the receiver. It was Jonathon.

"Sorry to call so late. Hope I didn't wake you." He sounded tired.

"No. I'm still a night person."

"I got tied up at a business dinner. I just got back to my room. So what's up?"

"Nina called me today and told me you have no intention of having Ricky tested for attention deficit disorder. She said you were humoring me."

Jonathon sighed, feeling torn between his obligations at work and home. His life had felt empty before Ricky, and now Rachel, had entered. Yet, surely Rachel could understand the pressure from his job.

"Nina's off base. I'm having Ricky tested on Thursday and she doesn't like it. I'll have a talk with her. She was under psychiatric care years ago for a suicide attempt. Somehow, she ended up blaming the doctors for her problem. She doesn't like the idea of Ricky seeing a psychiatrist for any reason."

Rachael heard the fatigue in his voice and was sorry she had doubted him. "Will you be back by Thursday to make sure Ricky gets to his appointment?"

"Yes. This is just a three day trip.

"I'm glad."

"Can I see you this weekend?"

"I'd like that. We need to discuss the results of Ricky's evaluation." She tried for a business-like tone, ignoring the light skipping of her heart.

"I'll call you then."

She hung up, too relieved by his explanation and too excited by the promise of another date to sleep. Not a date, she chastised herself. She could not let her heart be captured by a man who did not share her interest in a growing faith. She was doing this for Ricky.

Nonetheless, she dozed off with the image of Jonathon's handsome face in her mind and, despite her resolve, dreamed of a wedding where she was the bride.

The day before his appointment with the psychiatrist, Nina brought Ricky for his tutoring session. One look at her face, told Rachel she had not changed her mind about the need for this assessment. Glowering, she ushered him through the door and sunk into a wicker chair without a glance at Rachel.

Ignoring her, Rachel put an arm around Ricky's shoulders. "Are you ready for a game?"

He shrugged and looked at his shoes.

"Well, come see what I have for you today."

Subdued, he followed her into the cubicle. Drawing him into a chair beside her, she asked, "What's wrong?"

He shrugged again.

"Did you have a bad day?"

He nodded. "I always have a bad day at school."

His eyes were wide and emphatic. "Then I broke the lock on Grandma's car. She was mad. Real mad."

"You didn't mean to, did you?"

"No. Grandma says I'm bad and that's why nobody likes me."

She knew she was being paid to tutor and not counsel. Still, she couldn't resist asking, "Do you think you're bad?"

Tears filled his eyes, yet he didn't answer.

"You're not bad because you break something accidentally. I bet lots of people like you. I do."

He looked up, his dark eyes, brimming. There was a hint of a smile. "I like you, too," he said, giving her an impulsive hug.

"Feel better?"

He nodded.

"Then I guess we better get to work."

He made an effort to pay attention and the session went well. Even so, she couldn't get the sad little boy off her mind. By Thursday evening, she waited impatiently to hear from Jonathon.

He called during the late news. "Rachel?"

"Yes. What did the psychiatrist say?"

"Dr. Lewis thought you were right. She put Ricky on medication. I hope it works, because the only thing that holds his attention is the television. I know he must drive Nina crazy."

"Have you told her the diagnosis?"

"Not yet. I hope she accepts it since she's going to have to give him his afternoon medication."

"I hope so too. It's important that he stay on schedule."

"Maybe you could explain it to her?"

She remembered the anger on Nina's face when she had brought Ricky in for tutoring. "I don't think so. I don't think she likes me right now."

"That's okay. I'm sure she'll cooperate if I insist. She doesn't cross me since she's always afraid I won't let her see Ricky. I don't know why. She's been a lot of help. I don't know what I would do without her."

"She's probably a little overly protective."

"Could you give me some pointers on how to explain all this to her?"

Rachael remembered the scowl on Nina's face. "I doubt I could tell you any more than you heard from Dr. Lewis."

"Maybe if we get together, we can think of something. Honestly, I also want to see you again. I have tickets to the symphony and I am hoping you will come with me."

Her mind worked quickly. He had stripped away the pretense that their relationship centered entirely upon Ricky. Plain and simply, he was asking for a date.

Torn by her feelings, she hesitated. This was the boy who had hurt her so badly. No, the boy was in her past, replaced by this familiar stranger with the strong jaw and dark intelligent eyes. He was the same and yet so different. The changes intrigued her. She could no more refuse his invitation than she could deny herself air.

"What time?" she asked.

"I could pick you up at seven. Is that okay?"

"It's fine. I'll see you then."

"Good-night, Rachel." His caressing voice sent goose bumps down her back.

"Good-night, Jonathon."

Saturday proved hectic. As a surprise for her birthday, Terri's new boyfriend called to invite her to a restaurant for lunch. Rachael heard her decline and could tell from her tone how much she wanted to go. "Call him back and say you'll come."

Terri shook her head. "I'd miss at least two appointments."

"If you can't re-schedule for another day, I'll work them into my off times," Rachel offered.

"That's awfully sweet. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Rachel looked at her appointments. "I have two hours free during the day. I can work in those two kids."

"Okay. Thanks."

By skipping lunch and working late, Rachael was able to keep on schedule. She closed a little after six, completely exhausted to hurry home, eat, and get changed before Jonathon arrived to pick her up. She had just finished dressing when the doorbell rang. She clipped a pearl barrette in one side of her copper hair and pinned it just above her ear. Then, smoothing her dress, she opened the door, hoping she looked more composed than she felt.

One look at his approving smile soothed her frazzled nerves. "You look beautiful. You always look like you just stepped off the cover of a magazine."

When she smiled, his mind took him back to the girl he had always loved, the girl he should have married. What had gotten into him to take a path that led him away from her?

She returned his smile. "You know how to ease a rough day."

On the way to the symphony, she told him about Terri's new boyfriend. "I think she's really in love this time. I know she cares about our business. Yet, all she thinks about is Eric. I'm not sure which comes first anymore."

"I envy her. Having someone completely wrapped up in your life is not something to take for granted. At least if it's the right someone." Jonathon glanced over, letting his gaze capture her face.

She looked lost in thought. "I just hope she doesn't lose interest in our partnership. I couldn't run things by myself. I'd have to drop some of our clients since I wouldn't make enough to pay the rent. I don't want to lose the business." She paused, wondering why she was telling him this.

"You won't. You've never failed at anything in your life."

Though she'd had longed for his reassurance, she wasn't sure how he meant it. She opened her mouth to protest until she noticed his voice had contained no envy and his face was peaceful as he watched the road. Deciding better, she said, "You seem to be quite a success yourself. Tell me more about your firm."

"When you work International, you do a lot of traveling." He went on to tell her about what he did for his clients. It sounded interesting, though it provided little opportunity for a home life. She wondered how he hoped to spend time with Ricky.

They arrived at the symphony and parked in the back lot. Stars filled the sky like a thousand diamonds. He took her hand as they joined the throng of patrons crossing the street.

Once inside the building, a hush fell over the audience as they let the music of Johann Strauss wash over them. Rachael was keenly aware of Jonathon's sturdy arm touching her shoulder at the boundary of their cushioned chairs. She could smell the light masculine waft of his menthol aftershave.

He glanced at her, his eyes questioning if she was enjoying the evening. She smiled back, knowing she would rather be with him at that moment than anywhere else on earth.

When it was over, they walked out together. Though she was in the midst of a crowd, she was aware only of the man who walked beside her.

"Would you like to stop off for a cup of coffee?" he asked when they got to the car.

She nodded. "I'd love a cup. It's so cold out tonight, I could use it to warm up."

They bundled into the car and he turned on the heater.

"It is a cool night for such a light dress, though it looks good on you."

"Thanks." The gauze dress with tailored sleeves and waist and a filmy floating skirt complimented the curves of her figure. She smiled, knowing it had been a good choice.

The coffee shop was crowded. They sat at a table for two near the back and waited for a white clad waitress to take their order. Jonathon asked, "Remember our lunch table at high school? Jimmy used to stick French fries into Sharon's hair."

"She got him back, though with Jell-O in his lap."

He smiled in fond memory. "I should have stuck with that gang. It was all innocent fun."

"What's happened to Jimmy? Do you know?"

"I saw him at the reunion. He's an airline pilot and he's nutty as ever."

"Remind me to stay off planes."

When their coffee arrived, Rachel sipped hers slowly, thinking back over the years. She had kept up with few of her high school friends and had avoided the reunion on account of Jonathon. It struck her as ironic that he was now sitting across the table. What would her mother think if she saw them right now? Her mother had never forgiven him for breaking her daughter's heart.

They chatted about old friends and teachers and football games until well past midnight. When the crowd thinned he said, "Would you like more coffee or should I be getting you home?"

"I better get home. I teach a Sunday school class tomorrow. We're studying about the Exodus of the Israelites. Would you like to come?"

He glanced away. His guarded expression put a curtain between them. "Thanks, but I promised Ricky I'd spend tomorrow with him."

She nodded. "That's fine. If you ever want to come, we have a good children's program for Ricky."

He stood and their eyes met. "I'll remember," he said softly. He could not put his finger on his feelings. Yet something stirred deep within him, a spiritual longing that he could not explain.

As they drove through the frosty night in a private cocoon of warmth, Rachel wondered if he ever went inside a church. He had not been raised in a religious family and was apparently doing the same with Ricky. Her heart broke for them. She longed for Jonathon to see the grace and comfort he was missing. Yet, she knew, in her own power, she could not change him.

When they reached her apartment, he parked outside and turned off the motor. He turned toward her and studied her face. "What about it? Will you take a chance on me again? I don't drink and party anymore."

In her head, a voice of reason told her to refuse. Not only had she been hurt by this man before, he did not share her faith. Yet he had changed. Perhaps he would allow God to work in his heart.

"You have changed," she agreed.

He reached out and smoothed a wisp of hair off her cheek. "You haven't changed. You're still beautiful and self-assured. You know exactly where you're going."

Her churning thoughts told her it wasn't true. She did not know where she was going since he came back into her life. She hardly dared hope where this might lead.

He leaned over close. "When I saw you again, it was like the first time in high school. You were all I could think about. I never lost that feeling for you. I just got off track...way off track. Will you forgive me for hurting you? I was a fool."

Looking into his dark eyes, so near her face, the voice of reason was swept away by the flood of emotion that swept over her. How could she not forgive him? How could she help loving him?

"I forgive you," she whispered.

He bent closer and she felt his lips touch her own. She melted willingly into his arms and ran her hand down the side of his smoothly shaven face. He felt familiar even after all these years.

He kissed her tenderly and, pulling back, looked into her eyes. "Do you think it's destiny that brought us together after all these years?"

"Destiny, no. Hopefully, the hand of God."

"I hope so. I could use a little Divine guidance in my life."

"All you have to do is ask."

"That easy, huh?'

"Want to try it?"

"Maybe later."

Jonathon felt another tug at his heart, followed by an uneasiness of the changes God might ask him to make in his life. Would he be able to obey?

He pulled her head onto his shoulder and kissed the top of her hair. She struggled against the impatience she felt for him to turn to God. Perhaps God's timing was not her own, she reminded herself.

They sat in silence in the chilling car."Would you like me to turn on the heater?" he asked as she stirred and pulled her coat around her.

"No. I have to go in. Thanks for a wonderful evening."

"Thanks for another chance. I'll call you when I get back in town."

She reached for the car door. "Are you leaving again?"

"I'll be overseas for two weeks."

Trying to hide her disappointment, she forced herself to smile. "Have a good trip."

"I'll try, but I lost my excitement for traveling a long time ago. I like it even less now that I have a couple of good reasons to stay here."

He walked her to her door. Caressing her face he said, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too."

She unlocked her door and met his lips for a last quick kiss.

"Don't forget me while I'm gone," he said.

"I won't." She shook her head, hoping she wasn't letting her emotions lead her from God's will. If God convicted her to distance herself from Jonathon, it would not be easy. She wanted to see him again, missed him already and wished he were not going so far away. Looking ahead, it seemed an eternity until he would return.

CHAPTER FOUR

A few days after Ricky began medication, his teacher called. Rachel answered the phone, and was pleased to hear her say, "I wanted to tell you what a difference the medication has made. Ricky's settled down and usually finishes his work. It did him a world of good."

Rachel smiled. She had noticed an improvement.

"Still, I'm worried," Mrs. Jeffries continued. "He came in this morning acting like his old self, didn't pay attention, and couldn't stay in his seat. I called his grandmother and she said she had taken him off the medication because she didn't believe in drugging children. I tried to reason with her but she said I didn't like Ricky and accused me of telling him he was stupid. I've had my frustrations with him, but I've never called him stupid."

Her tone was adamant. Rachel found her regard for Mrs. Jeffries increasing. "I know you didn't. I think his grandmother can't accept the fact that he has this problem."

"I'd speak with his dad, but he's out of town right now. He won't be back until the weekend. Ricky is supposed to come in this afternoon for tutoring. I'll talk to his grandmother then."

"Thanks. I hope you can make her understand how much the medicine helps him."

"I'll try."

She hung up to deal with her own frustration. Why was Ricky's grandmother so difficult? She obviously loved him or she wouldn't spend her time taking care of him.

Rachel sighed. Whatever the problem, she was stuck trying to reason with her this afternoon. It was just like Jonathon to be out of town when she needed him.

She checked her appointment book. Ricky was due to come in a half-hour. Pulling all of her mental resources together, she whispered a quick prayer and prepared to face Nina.

The door opened and Terri walked in. Rachel raised her eyebrows in a show of mock disapproval. "You missed Jazzercise this morning."

In answer, Terri held out a shopping bag. "I'm sorry. I promise to exercise on Friday. I had to buy a dress this morning. Eric's taking me to meet his parents at a restaurant tonight. I'm so nervous. I hope I won't show it."

Rachel studied her friend's worried frown and smiled. "You'll be fine. Just be your bubbly self and they won't be able to resist your charm."

"I hope you're right." She strode to the back office to stow her bag.

Rachel turned her mind back to her work. A few minutes later, Nina's familiar sedan pulled up.

She took a deep breath. Here goes.

Nina's face was an unreadable mask as she glanced at Rachel and asked, "Are we late?"

"No. You're right on time. Please sit down. I'm going to start Ricky on some work. Then I'll be back and we can talk."

She took Ricky to the cubicle and set his work on the small table. "Work on this. Circle the pictures that start with each letter."

After doing the first together, she explained, "I'm going to talk to your grandmother. I'll be back in a few minutes."

She left the little boy working on his paper and went to face Nina. Before she could sit down, he came bouncing out. "I did this one. See?"

"That's good, but I want you to do them all." She took him back to the cubicle. "Stay here until you finish."

She scurried back to Nina and launched right in. "I got a call from Ricky's teacher a little while ago. She's concerned about his ability to learn when he's not on medication."

"Why did she call you?"

"She couldn't reach Jonathon and she said you wouldn't listen to her. I guess I was the only other number she had."

"I don't think much of teachers who can't do their jobs without drugging the children."

"Not all children need medication. However, Ricky does. Without it, he has a hard time sitting still long enough to learn anything."

"There's nothing wrong with him. I taught him the alphabet when he was two years old."

"There's nothing wrong with his intelligence. He's a very bright child. If you co-operate with giving his medicine he should do very well in school."

"His mother wouldn't approve."

"Yet, his father does. If I have to, I'll find a way to get a hold of him through his office."

Nina's eyes narrowed into annoyed slits. "There's no need of that. I'll give the medication, yet if anything goes wrong, I'll hold you to blame."

"Nothing will go wrong." She patted Nina lightly on the hand as she stood and said, "I better get back to Ricky."

She found him peering around the cubicle to watch Terri's student. The older child tried to ignore his curious face while struggling with a row of math problems.

Rachel took him by the shoulders and led him back to his table. "Did you finish your work?"

He didn't answer. He was busy rocking his chair back and forth.

"You only did three. Let's work on the rest together."

As they worked through the worksheet, she consoled herself with the knowledge that he would be back on his medication when he came for his next session. No wonder Mrs. Jeffries noticed such a difference.

Though the session was unproductive, she felt a sense of accomplishment as she sent him home. She had convinced Nina to continue his prescription, and that was important.

Later that evening, as she curled on the couch to watch television, the phone rang.

"I couldn't resist giving you a call. I know it's late but I thought you'd still be up."

Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized Jonathon's voice. "I'm up. I wouldn't mind if you woke me, though. Did you just get up?"

"I've been working all night and I kept thinking about you. It looks like I'll be here another week. I can hardly wait to see you again."

His words warmed her heart. "I miss you, too."

"Is everything going okay?"

She thought about her conversation with Nina and wondered if she should tell him. Since Nina had agreed to resume Ricky's medication, she decided there would be nothing to gain by mentioning it. "Everything's fine. I saw Ricky today. He misses you, too."

"I promised him a trip to the zoo when I get back. Could I convince you to come along?"

An image of the three of them played in her mind, a family like she'd always wanted. "It wouldn't take much convincing."

"Good. I'll see you when I return."

She settled back on the couch and pulled the afghan around her, feeling warm and content from the physical comfort of the blanket and the mental comfort of Jonathon's call.

The next two days were busy. Just as they were closing on Friday, the phone rang. Terri answered and announced.

"It's that strange old woman."

Rachel knew without asking that it had to be Nina. She took the phone and answered pleasantly. "This is Rachel."

"I told you something bad would happen. I told you Ricky shouldn't be on that medicine. He's been getting dizzy. Tonight he fell and broke his arm. We just got back from the hospital. Maybe now you'll listen."

Rachel's mind churned as accusatory words sunk in. "I've never heard of a child having this reaction. Did you tell Dr. Lewis Ricky was having dizzy spells?"

"Dr. who?"

"Dr. Lewis, the psychiatrist. Maybe the dose needs to be adjusted."

"You never learn, do you? I'm not calling any psychiatrist and I'm not bringing Ricky to you any more. You're probably in with that doctor. You probably get a kick-back from sending perfectly normal children to her."

"That's not true. Dr. Lewis is highly reputable and so am I."

"Humph."

"I do feel terrible he broke his arm. May I talk to him?"

"He's resting. I just wanted you to know why you wouldn't be seeing him next week, that's all."

"Please, you've got to call Dr. Lewis." The decisive click on the other end left her in tears.

"What's wrong?" Terri asked.

"It's Ricky. Apparently his medication made him dizzy. He fell and broke his arm. You go on home. I'm going to put in a call to Dr. Lewis."

The answering service took a message. Rachel tried to concentrate on paper work while she waited for the doctor to call back. After fifteen minutes the phone rang.

"Rachel, this is Janet. What's wrong?"

She explained the situation to the puzzled psychiatrist. "I can't imagine why the medication caused him to be dizzy. We need to run some tests to evaluate what's wrong. I'll call the grandmother and see if I can change her mind."

Rachel doubted it would do any good, but knew it was the best they could do. She hung up with a feeling of impotence. She was worried about Ricky and wished she could see him. If only Jonathon were home. Why was he always gone?

On Saturday afternoon, she took a call from Janet Lewis."I didn't have much luck with the grandma. She insists the medication made him sick. We'll have to wait until Mr. Parker gets home and talk to him."

Rachel hated the idea of waiting to solve this puzzle. Yet, what choice did they have? It seemed all she did with Jonathon was wait.

Before school started on Monday, she called Ricky's teacher. "Mrs. Jeffries, did you notice Ricky having any dizzy spells in school?"

"No. Why?"

"He's broken his arm and his grandmother blames his fall on the medication. She said it made him dizzy."

"The only thing I noticed was that he settled down and did his work."

"Don't be surprised if he's a little hyper today. She took him off his medicine and is refusing to talk to his doctor. His dad will be back at the end of the week. Maybe we can get it straightened out then."

"I hope so. For Ricky's sake."

"So do I."

She had a sudden thought. "Could I come by during lunch and talk to Ricky?"

"I don't see why not."

"Okay, thanks."

If Nina wouldn't let Ricky come to her, she would go to him. After Jazzercise, she changed out of her work-out clothes and headed for his school. She found him in the cafeteria blowing the paper off his straw.

"Hi, Ricky."

He turned to face her. "May I sit down?"

He nodded as she wedged herself into the bench beside him. "How are you doing?"

"I broke my arm." He held the cast out for her inspection. Several names were written in childish print along the length of the cast.

"I heard. I'm sorry. Does it still hurt?"

"No. It hurt when they moved it though."

"You mean the doctor and nurses?"

He nodded.

"How did you fall?"

He fell silent, looking into his plate of untouched food. She watched him closely. "Were you dizzy? Did the medicine make you feel sick?"

He continued to stare.

"Ricky?"

"I fell down the stairs," he mumbled.

"Did you feel sick before you fell, like everything in the room was going around and around?

"No. I just fell."

"Why did you fall?"

"I don't know. I guess I tripped."

"Have you felt sick since you started taking the medicine Dr. Lewis gave you?"

"No."

"And you haven't fallen before?"

"No." He looked so sad that she reached over and gave him a quick hug.

"It's okay. Everybody falls sometimes. I'm going to go now so you can finish your lunch."

When she reached the office, she called Nina. As she waited impatiently for her to answer, hard words formed in her throat. This woman had tried to undermine his treatment at every turn. And now this.

After several rings, she heard Nina's voice on the other end, sounding slightly groggy.

"This is Rachel Ashworth. I need to talk to you."

"I just woke up. I was so upset about Ricky, I didn't sleep last night. I dozed off after I got him to school."

"I just talked to him. He told me he hasn't been dizzy. All children fall and sometimes they break their arms, but I can't believe you used this accident to try and get him off his medication. You must put him back on right now, or take him to see Dr. Lewis if you're still worried."

"You talked to Ricky without my permission?"

"I didn't need your permission."

"So, you're saying I lied." Her speech was slow.

"I don't care whether you lied or not. Just put him back on his medicine."

"I'm feeling sick. I have to go."

She hung up, leaving Rachel to stew about the outcome of her call. She tried to shake free of concern, reminding herself that he wasn't her child or her responsibility. Yet she couldn't get him out of her mind.

She closed her eyes and whispered, "Lord, help me turn this child over to you. Please help me find a way to help him."

Not until Wednesday afternoon did she know she had won the confrontation. Though Nina had vowed not to bring him again, there she was, dropping him off at the door. Instead of waiting in the wicker chair as usual, she took off in her sedan, leaving him to come in alone. She might not be happy, but no matter, at least she brought him.

Rachel greeted him. "I'm glad to see you. How's your arm?"

Instead of answering about his broken arm, he surprised her by holding out his other arm, rolling up his shirt to reveal an angry red mark across his forearm. "I burned it on Grandma's curling iron."

"Oh, Ricky, I bet that hurt!"

"I was bad. I'm always bad." His soulful brown eyes fixed on her as though awaiting her confirmation.

"You're not bad. You must not think that. You do need to leave dangerous things alone. I bet you won't touch the curling iron again, will you?" She smiled as the waif of a boy shook his head.

"I'll be good, too."

"You're already good. Now let's get to work."

When they finished, she noticed Nina waiting outside. On a whim, she decided to walk Ricky to the car. "He did well today."

Nina face, carved of stone, did not change expression as he climbed in. "He would do better if left to me, but my wishes aren't being considered."

Rachel felt a pang of pity for the old woman. "Everyone appreciates how hard you work to take care of Ricky. Remember, though, we want what's best for him, too."

Without a reply, Nina backed the car and drove away. Rachel went inside to await her next student. She wished she could appease Nina. She wanted to get along with her, to work together to help Ricky. However, the woman didn't make it easy.

On Saturday night, Jonathon called. It seemed like months since she had heard his voice. Yet, when he spoke, the time that passed between them melted away as though he had been with her all week.

"I guess you saw your son's arm?"

"Yes. I signed his cast. I guess it was bound to happen sometime. I broke my arm twice as a kid."

"I hope you gave him some sympathy. He's having a hard time with his self-esteem lately. He tells me he thinks he's bad. He needs you to reassure him."

He was quiet a moment. She hoped he was considering her words. His assurance would mean a lot to his son. "I may be partly to blame. I get impatient with him when he won't settle down. I need to praise him more often."

"That would help."

"I'll start making amends. I'm taking him to the zoo tomorrow afternoon. I recall asking a certain young lady to accompany us. Are you available?"

"I am."

"We could pick you up about one."

"That would be fine. Did I tell you I don't do reptiles?" Rachael shivered at the thought of snakes slithering over branches in their cages.

She sensed his smile as he replied, "I think we can work around it."

She woke up the next morning to see that even the weather cooperated with Jonathon's plans. Sunshine lit the sky. It was going to be a perfect March Sunday.

She stretched and smelled the scent of coffee and bacon wafting in from her neighbor's apartment. Padding barefoot to the kitchen, she felt invigorated and vibrantly alive.

After church, she would see Jonathon. She could hardly wait.

When the service ended, she hurried back home to change into jeans. She brushed her hair into a glistening auburn wave, setting down her brush at the sound of the doorbell. The smell of honeysuckle from the vine outside drifted in as she opened the door to Jonathon's warm smile. His eyes lingered hungrily on her face. "I've missed you."

She smiled in return. "I've missed you, too."

Leaning down, he kissed her lightly on the lips. "You're all I thought about while I was away. It was a terrible distraction."

"Good." She slipped playfully past him to lock the door. "Are you sure Ricky doesn't mind if I come?"

"He's excited about it. He likes you, you know."

"He's a nice little boy. I worry about him. Nina doesn't understand how important it is for him to stay on medication."

She glanced at Jonathon and met a guarded expression.

"Let's not worry about anything today. I want us to have a good time." His tone held a boyish appeal that touched her heart.

"Then we'll have a good time."

Ricky waited in the backseat of the car. He greeted her enthusiastically "We might see a hyena." His eyes were round with excitement. "They look sort of like a dog. I might get a dog."

Jonathon slid behind the wheel and said, "He wants a dog."

"I know."

When they got to the zoo, Ricky could hardly contain his excitement. He bounced out of the car and forged ahead toward the gate. In two long strides Jonathon caught up and put a hand on his son's shoulder. "Whoa, buddy. This is a big place and we stay together."

"Hasn't he ever been to the zoo?"

"No. Eva didn't spend much time taking him places and a zoo wouldn't hold any interest for Nina."

She felt a stir of sympathy for the child. What had his life been like before he came to Jonathon? Eva had been an absent and disturbed mother. And his grandmother? She still hadn't figured Nina out.

They reached the simulated jungle. Head level with the glass, Ricky stared into the grass at the massive African lion.

"He's big," Ricky said.

He certainly is," Rachel agreed.

When they moved to the rhinoceros, Ricky paused in awe. "Wow, look at him. I bet nobody tries to hurt him. I wish I had a horn like that. Nobody would hurt me."

Jonathon put his arm around his son. "Nobody's going to hurt you. You're safe with me, pal."

They followed Ricky around the zoo until his lagging steps betrayed his fatigue. Jonathan bought them each a bag of popcorn to eat on the way to the car.

"Did you have a good time?" Rachel asked.

Ricky nodded. "I want to come here every week. Probably I can't, though."

He frowned. "Dad's out of town a lot."

"I know." She looked at Jonathon, who deftly avoided her eyes.

It tore him inside to realize she disapproved of the time he spent away from home. How could he make her understand he wouldn't be the successful man he'd strived to become without being a slave to his job? Would she like him as well if he was down and out, working odd jobs to make ends meet?

On the drive back, Ricky's head drooped to his chest. Rachael glanced back and said, "He had a good time."

Though Jonathon was pleased Ricky enjoyed the outing, he was more concerned whether Rachel had enjoyed their company. "Did you?"

"Yes I did."

"I hope it doesn't have to end. I'd like to take you to dinner and a movie tonight if you're free."

"What about Ricky?"

"Nina's already said she could stay tonight and feed him supper."

"In that case, I'd love to."

He smiled. "Being with you makes me feel like the years have dropped away. I feel like a kid again, free and ready for fun. Life hasn't been much fun the last few years."

"I know. I haven't put much value on fun lately either. I've been preoccupied with my job. It's taken a lot out of us to make a go of our own business. I hadn't realized how much I missed a day at the zoo."

He smiled. "Neither did I. Or how hungry it could make me. If it's okay with you, let's take Ricky home and go straight for a burger."

She nodded, glad he'd suggested burgers. "That's fine with me." Her jeans and T-shirt were good enough for fast food and a movie. It would be relaxing to go somewhere she didn't have to dress up.

She decided to voice what was on her mind. "I hope Nina doesn't mind watching Ricky tonight. Doesn't she have any life of her own? I know she loves him, yet it must be hard to be on constant call."

Jonathon looked at her thoughtfully as he pulled up to the townhouse. "She doesn't seem to want anything else in her life. She was always centered on Eva and then Ricky. I guess it's all she needs."

Parking at the curb, he called to Ricky, "We're home, Sport. Time to wake up."

Rachel smiled at Ricky's lack of response. "He's really tired. I think we wore him out."

"We did, but I don't think he's ever had more fun."

Jonathon opened the car door. "You can wait here if you like. I'm going to carry him inside."

Ricky stirred as he felt his father's arms slide securely beneath him. He opened his dark eyes and looked around. Concern filled his face.

"We're going to a movie. I'm going to leave you here for a nice dinner with Nina," Jonathon explained.

Ricky's small mouth screwed in protest. "I don't want to stay here. I want to go with you."

Scooping him off the seat, Jonathon said, "You've spent all afternoon with us. Don't you think Nina would like some company now?"

"No. I don't want to stay here. I don't want to. I want to go with you!"

Setting him on the ground, Jonathon stared in consternation at his child. "Ricky, listen. You can't go with us. You'll have a good time with Nina."

"No! No!" Ricky's attempt to reach the car was thwarted as his father lifted him and carried him toward the house.

Rachel watched Nina appear in the doorway and reach for the crying child. As Jonathon placed him inside the door, Nina took him by the shoulders and turned him towards her for a hug.

Unable to hear the conversation, Rachel noticed Nina's expression harden as she glared at Rachel. After a moment, Jonathon turned away and Nina closed the door.

Rachel watched in concern as he approached the car. "Is he okay? Maybe you should stay home tonight."

He shook his head. "I don't think that would be a good idea. I don't want to spoil him, make him think that throwing a fit gets him his own way."

"He seemed really upset."

Jonathon hesitated, considering her words. Concern creased his brow. Then he shook it off. "No. He's just tired and hungry. He'll be okay."

He reached under the seat and pulled out a section of newspaper. "I happen to have the movie listings here. Pick out something you'd like to see."

They sat in the car and studied the movies. Rachael pointed to a listing. "I've heard this is good. It starts at six-forty five."

"That's fine with me. Anything you want to see is fine with me."

He nuzzled his face into her hair. "Your hair smells good, like strawberries."

"Scented shampoos are fun. I also have apple and cherry."

"I'll look forward to those, too." He put his finger under her chin and gently lifted her face. He looked into her eyes, and then down to her lips which unconsciously parted. He bent and she felt the soft touch of his mouth.

After a long moment he released her and whispered, "Being with you is like coming home. I feel comfortable and secure. You're also the most exciting woman I've ever met. How do you manage all those things at once?"

She ran her hand along the five o'clock shadow on his face. Looking into his eyes she replied, "I feel the same way."

It's like everything has been on hold until you came back into my life."

He kissed each eyebrow and the bridge of her nose. "I'm glad I found you. I'm never going to lose you again.

"Unless, I starve you to death. How about that hamburger?"

He nodded and started the car. "That sounds good, too. All that walking made me hungry, too."

As she watched his capable hands, she felt more happiness bubbling inside her than she felt she could contain. If only they could be like this forever, as alone and unencumbered by responsibilities as they were tonight. Tomorrow, they would go back to their working worlds. Tonight, she wanted to forget everything except the look in his eyes as he kissed her.

They parked and ordered curb-side burgers and sodas.

"So, tell me what you do for fun when you're not working or doing aerobics with Terri," he said.

She knew him well enough, even after all these years, to translate the question into, "Are there other men in your life?"

"Since I work long hours, there's not a lot of time left over. I needlepoint and read, teach an adult Sunday school class, sometimes go to movies with friends."

She grinned at him.

"What are you teaching now?"

"I'm teaching a study leading up to Easter."

"Sounds interesting."

She was pleased by his interest. "Why don't you come sometime? You came with me once years ago. Remember?"

"I remember. I felt out of place. It was only the second time I'd ever been in a church. The other time was for my grandfather's funeral."

"Well, I may not be the most exciting teacher, but I promise it will be better than a funeral."

"I'll try and make it if I'm in town next weekend, just to see what it's like."

She found it more likely he wanted to discover if she had any male devotees. Amused, she wondered if he knew most of her class was over fifty years old, would he still be willing to come? No matter. She was willing to settle for whatever got him to church.

They got to the movie and snuggled as closely together as the neighboring teen-agers. The smell of popcorn brought back memories of past dates. By far, the most memorable ones were with the man who sat beside her now.

.

CHAPTER FIVE

At the end of a tutoring session the next afternoon, Terri called her to the phone. "There's a little kid asking for you."

She picked up the receiver and said, "This is Miss Ashworth."

She heard a stifled sob on the other end. "I don't want to come anymore."

Her mind spun as the words cut into her heart. "Ricky? Is it you?"

"Yes. You don't like me. You just want to see my Dad."

The child was crying harder now. Rachel gripped the phone. Speaking intently she asked, "Are you upset about last night? I'm so sorry. We didn't think..."

There was a click and Ricky was gone. Alarmed, she could only think of one thing to do. She had to talk to Jonathon. She dialed his number and waited impatiently for the impersonal voice of the company operator. When her call had been directed to his office, she told the secretary,

"This is Rachel Ashworth. It's urgent that I reach Mr. Parker."

The reply was no surprise to Rachel. "I'm sorry. Mr. Parker is with a client. I can have him return your call."

"Please do." She hung up, knowing her curtness with the secretary should really have been directed at Jonathon. She brushed back tears welling in her eyes and headed for the safety of the back office.

She snatched a handful of tissue and dabbed at her eyes. Jonathon was in a meeting. Jonathon could not be disturbed. She balled the tissue into a knot and hurled it into the trash can.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Terri step tentatively into the doorway. "Feel like talking?"

Rachel nodded. "I feel just horrible. I can't believe what I've done."

Terri stepped inside. "It can't have been that bad."

"It is. I should never have started dating Jonathon. It's hurt Ricky and that should never have happened. I don't want him to feel like he has to compete for attention. He hardly sees Jonathon as it is."

"Is that what Ricky told you? Was that him on the phone?"

She nodded. Her eyes filled with fresh tears. "Poor little boy. He's had such a hard life. Now I've made it harder. We took him to the zoo yesterday and then left him with his grandmother while we went out last night."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"It is bad. It's terrible. You didn't see him. He was so upset. He wanted to come along."

The bell on the door jingled. "That's my three-thirty appointment," Terri said. "Don't you have someone coming soon?"

"Yeah. In about fifteen minutes."

Terri patted her on the arm. "Don't worry. It will work out with Ricky. You'll see."

Alone in the back office, she let her eyes trail along the bookshelf which lined one wall. It was full of books on teaching methods and psychology. Reproachfully, she wondered if she should re-read them.

She could hear Terri's encouraging voice speaking to her young student. She sighed, feeling more depressed than angry, and stared at the phone. When would Jonathon call?

Pulling herself together, she returned to her cubicle and prepared for the child who was coming for help with math. She laid out games and flashcards and a few worksheets. Moments later, she heard the door open as her student entered.

He was a sturdy red-haired boy with freckles and a contagious grin. She usually enjoyed her sessions with Andy. Today, he reminded her of a little boy she had grossly betrayed.

By the end of the session she had accomplished one thing. She had calmed down and was thinking clearly. It was unlikely Ricky had found her number and dialed it all on his own. He must have had help. Most likely Nina assisted and encouraged him to vent his feelings. She had tried to undermine Rachel's efforts from the beginning. Now, she'd played right into Nina's hand.

After Andy left, she replayed the message Jonathon left on her answering device while she and Terri were tutoring. His voice was jovial, telling her she had missed her chance and he would be out for the rest of the afternoon. She would have to call him after work.

Perhaps that was best. In the privacy of her apartment, she would be free to talk. She certainly had a lot to say.

She pushed the problem to the back of her mind and made it through the rest of the afternoon. Their dinner break arrived and Terri brought in pizza. The smell of hot pepperoni and peppers failed to arouse her appetite as it usually did. She picked a piece of pepperoni from atop the cheese as Terri asked, "So what have you decided to do about Ricky?"

"It depends. If I can regain his trust, I'll keep tutoring him. If not, I guess I'll refer him to someone else. You want him?"

"No. I've seen what his grandmother's like."

"I understand. You'd be taking on a headache."

"What are you going to do about Jonathon?"

She picked off another piece of pepperoni. "I guess we quit seeing each other."

"Just like that? You've got to be kidding. The guy's gorgeous. Somebody's going to snare him. It might as well be you. Ricky could get used to it."

Rachel set down the slice of pizza. "If Jonathon short- changes Ricky by dating someone else, it won't be my fault. I'll hate not knowing where our relationship might have led, but I won't do it at Ricky's expense. It's important for him to know, right now, he comes first with his father."

"I wouldn't give Eric up just because he had a kid who threw a tantrum. Kids grow up and go away. Then, what do you have left? No one."

"Eric doesn't have any kids."

"I know. After seeing what you're going through, I'm glad."

They finished their pizza and prepared for their evening appointments. Rachel completed her sessions first and left Terri to lock up. As she drove home, she wondered if Ricky had still been upset when Jonathon returned home from their dinner date last night. Perhaps, Nina had confronted him with Ricky's distraught behavior. It would be like Nina to blame it on Rachel.

She called his number and he answered on the second ring. Taking a deep breath, she began, "How's Ricky? I've been worried all afternoon."

"Ricky? What's wrong with Ricky?" He sounded puzzled.

It was her turn for confusion. "I thought you would know. He called me this afternoon. He was crying and said he didn't want to see me again."

"What? Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"He didn't say anything to me. I had to work a little late. Nina stayed to cook dinner and feed him. He's upstairs with her now getting ready for bed. Hold on a minute. I'll get him and see what's going on."

She sat tensely, straining to hear any conversation. Everything was quiet. After a few minutes she heard the murmur of voices come closer to the phone. Then Jonathon picked up the receiver. "I don't know what's going on. Ricky says he didn't call you. Nina doesn't know anything about it, either. Maybe it was a kid who sounded like Ricky."

She heard a soft click and knew someone was listening on the other end. Proceeding cautiously, she said, "I'm sure it was Ricky. I thought maybe he was still upset about being left at home when we went out."

"He seemed fine when I got home last night. He was asleep. Do you want to talk to him? Maybe you two can straighten this out."

"Yes. I would like to talk to him."

Jonathon's voice faded as he walked away from the phone and called, "Ricky, come down here a minute. Miss Ashworth wants to talk to you."

A moment later, Ricky's childish voice spoke timidly into the phone. "Hello."

"Hello, Ricky. This is Miss Ashworth. I was worried when you called me today. It's okay if you were upset. I'd like to talk about it. Were you sad because your dad and I left you last night?"

There was silence on the other end. She waited patiently until he said softly, "Uh huh."

"Is that why you said you didn't want to see me?"

Silence again. She waited, but there was no reply. "Ricky? Remember when you called me?"

When he didn't answer, she said, "You called me today. Remember? Ricky...."

There was muffled conversation as the phone changed hands. "I sent him off to bed. I'm sure he doesn't know anything about this. Maybe some other kid called," Jonathon said.

She sighed in exasperation, knowing she would get nowhere. She would wait until Ricky came in to ask about it again. "Okay, maybe I was wrong. I guess it wasn't Ricky."

"I know you're wrong. Ricky's crazy about you. So am I. Can I see you this weekend?"

She stalled, not sure the problem with Ricky had been solved. "I'll have to see what's up. I may have to work late."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later in the week."

He paused, then added, "Don't worry about Ricky. I can't imagine anybody not liking you."

She gave a short laugh. She could imagine it. In fact, she knew of someone right now, someone who was probably listening to their conversation.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'll talk to you later."

When he hung up, she held the receiver, waiting for the second soft click. When she heard it, irritation balled into a hard knot in her stomach. What was the woman up to, denying any knowledge of Ricky's call? Did she want Jonathon to think Rachel was crazy? Or was she crazy herself?

She struggled to think it through. Maybe Nina hoped to discredit her in Jonathon's eyes. Perhaps she thought, he would ask her to discontinue taking Ricky to be tutored. Then, she could have Ricky all to herself, as she seemed to want.

Whatever her motive, Rachel had no intention of allowing Nina to manipulate her. She would continue to see Ricky and hold off on any accusations until she had proof that Nina was trying to interfere with his progress. As her anger subsided, she realized that Nina was not only strange, she might be dangerous.

She went over the whole thing again in her mind. Nina must be resentful of Jonathon's interest in Rachel. It seemed logical to assume she felt it a betrayal of her late daughter. If Rachel hoped to continue her relationship with either Ricky or Jonathon, she would have to step carefully through the mine field Nina would lay.

She thought of the verses from Psalm 42 she had read in her daily devotion. Her enemy seemed to taunt her, not taking into account her reliance on God. She must do as the psalmist and put her hope in God, trusting she would yet praise Him in all that was happening. As she prepared for bed, her taut nerves and muscles began to relax.

On Wednesday, Nina accompanied Ricky inside when she arrived for his appointment. Her small mouth was painted bright red. Her make-up, though thickly caked to hide her wrinkles, had been carefully applied. Her tinted hair was smoothly brushed. She had obviously taken great pains to look her best.

With a pleasant smile, she took a seat in the wicker chair. "You run along Ricky and see what Miss Rachel has for you. Grandma will wait right here."

Their eyes met and Rachel saw the flicker of challenge. The confidence in her face, announced she had no doubt she would get her way. She would put Rachel in her place once and for all.

Taking Ricky's hand, Rachel turned away. Determination burned in her soul. No amount of effort from this woman, who lived with the bitterness of her daughter's death, was going to spoil Ricky or Jonathon's chance for happiness. Not if she could help it.

She led Ricky to the privacy of the cubicle and picked up a stack of cards for a phonics drill. "When we finish these, we'll write a story together. You can take it home for your dad." She knew writing for Jonathon was one of Ricky's favorite learning activities.

Instead of his usual enthusiasm, he surveyed her with large solemn eyes. There was such sadness there that she longed to take him in her arms and give him a hug. She wanted to assure him that the world would not turn upside down on him again. Yet she didn't dare risk it until she knew how much of the phone call had been his idea.

"Okay. What sound does the "sh" make?" she asked brightly.

She praised him as he correctly answered each card in the deck. His small face remained impassive, oblivious to her praise. Hoping to gain his interest, she took out a large sheet of lined paper. There was a blank spot at the top for a picture.

"Let's write a story. You can help me spell the words. What would you like to write about?"

"A boy who lives at the zoo," he replied.

"Okay. Let's call it "At the Zoo". You help me spell it out."

She wrote the title under the space for the picture.

"Tell me something about this boy," she prompted.

"He has a pet."

She smiled. "A dog, I bet."

He shook his head. "No. That big, fat thing with the horn that nothing can hurt."

"You mean the rhinoceros?"

"Ah huh."

"Does the boy live with the rhinoceros?"

"Yeah. They have a house behind the fence and nobody can come in unless the boy wants them to 'cause the rhinoceros won't let them."

"Oh really? Let's write some of this down. You help me." She wrote the story, realizing she was more interested in what was going on in his mind than she was his education.

When they finished, she read it back. "There was a boy who lived at the zoo. He lived in a house with his pet. Here is a picture of his pet."

They read the story together twice and then, she invited him to draw a picture. He picked up a black crayon and hesitated. "I'd let you in my house," he said.

"Would you Ricky?" The guilt she was carrying lifted a bit.

"Yes. I'd let Dad in, too."

"What about your Grandma?"

"No." Ricky was emphatic.

"Why not?"

"She made me say bad things. Do you still like me?"

"Of course I do. Are you talking about when you called me?"

He nodded.

"Did she tell you what to say?"

He nodded again. "Are you mad at me?"

"Of course not, but why didn't you tell your dad what happened?"

"Grandma told me not to say I called you."

Her anger flared. It was hard to imagine anyone using a child the way Nina was using Ricky. And to tell him to lie! That was even worse.

"Let's play a word game before you draw the rhinoceros," she said.

When they finished the game, there was only ten minutes left in the session. Handing him the story paper and crayons, she said, "I'm going to talk to your grandmother while you draw your picture."

He looked up quickly. His dark eyes were alarmed. "I wasn't supposed to tell you she made me call. She'll be mad if you tell her."

She patted the child's slender shoulder. "I won't tell her you told me."

She paused as she rounded the cubicle and uttered a silent prayer. She would need more insight than she possessed if she were to handle this difficult woman.

Nina looked up as she approached. With a bored gesture, she plopped the magazine through which she had been browsing onto the wicker coffee table. "Where's Ricky? Isn't he done?"

"Almost. I'll get him in a minute. I wanted to talk to you first. I'd like you to know it was obvious from the minute Ricky called that you'd put him up to it. If you have something to say to me, I wish you'd say it yourself and not use Ricky." She drew a deep breath and tried to control her breathing which was ragged from the unaccustomed stress of confrontation.

Nina glared at her. "Use Ricky? How can you say that to me, when you're using him yourself? You take this poor little boy who misses his mother and use him to date his father and you accuse me of using him?"

Rachel felt stunned by the ridiculousness of the charge. "Jonathon came to me for help with Ricky. All I've tried to do is help him."

Nina's pert red mouth drew into a condescending smile. "Jonathon may believe that, but I certainly don't."

Before Rachel could reply, she heard Ricky's childish voice behind her. "I'm finished. Do you want to see my picture?"

Turning slowly, she forced a smile. She knelt down and gingerly took his drawing. "It's wonderful. It looks just like the rhinoceros we saw at the zoo. You take it home and read the story to your father, okay?"

"Okay." He grinned.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Nina rise. "Time to go," she said, briskly.

Mutely, she watched them file out the door. She retreated to the bathroom to compose herself, startled by the white face that stared back from the mirror. Why was she so shaken by Nina's ugly words? Maybe she feared they contained a small kernel of truth. Perhaps it would be better for Ricky if she had not entered his personal life. Dating Jonathon might have been a mistake. Yet, her heart told her she was wrong. Ricky needed her.

Thursday morning, she called Ricky's teacher for a weekly consultation about his progress in school. Paula said, "He's doing better, but I don't believe he's getting his medication consistently. He was okay yesterday, but he missed it on Tuesday. I wrote a note home to his father about it."

"I doubt his father ever saw it. His grandmother picks him up."

"I know. She hasn't been very cooperative when I've spoken to her."

Rachel sighed. "I don't think she likes either of us. It's been hard for her to share Ricky since her daughter died."

"It's a tragic situation, but she's not helping Ricky if she can't care for him properly."

"I'll talk to his dad," Rachel promised, wondering if Jonathon would listen.

She didn't have to wait long to find out. He called just after she got home. "I've been thinking about you all day. If you're not busy Saturday night, we could go out to dinner. There's an opening for an art exhibit over at the Exhibition Center. I thought you might like to see it afterwards."

"I would. That would be fun."

"Can I pick you up at six-thirty?"

"Better make it seven. Terri is going to be off Saturday afternoon and I have to squeeze in some of her students."

She hesitated, fidgeting with the phone cord. She hated to bring up Ricky's problems every time Jonathon called. Deciding to take the plunge, she said, "I talked to Ricky's teacher today."

"Oh." In one word, an emotional distance arose between them.

"She said Ricky was off his medication on Tuesday. It's not the first time it's happened. Nina took him off of it for several days when he broke his arm. We can't help Ricky if she undermines his treatment."

"She's an old woman. She probably forgot."

Rachel's ire rose as she remembered her confrontations with Nina. "I don't think she forgot at all. She resents everyone who's trying to help him."

There was silence between them until Jonathon said accusingly, "Aren't you being a little hard? She does everything for him when I'm not here. I don't know what I'd do without her. If she's not kind to you, it's because she misses Eva. She knows Ricky likes you and she doesn't want him to forget his mother."

"But this isn't about me. It's about Ricky and how she takes care of him."

"Nina loves Ricky."

"It's not the right kind of love. She wants him all to herself and uses him to keep the rest of us out of his life."

He sighed. "I think you're over-reacting, but I'll talk to her. I'll remind her to keep him on his medication. Will that make you happy?"

Disliking to be patronized, she replied sharply, "I brought this up because Ricky is your son and I thought you should know. What you do with the information is up to you."

"I know. I said I'll talk to her and I will." He sounded defeated.

Her heart softened. It was hard for him to suddenly balance a child, a grieving old woman, and a demanding tutor. Would she do better if she were him?

As her irritation subsided, she said, "You're a good father. Ricky loves you, you know. Did he read you the story we wrote together, yesterday?"

"No. I got home late last night."

"Ask to see it. It's about our trip to the zoo."

"I will. Thanks for all you've done."

Hi willingness to acknowledge her help soothed her ruffled feelings. "You're welcome."

"See you Saturday."

Her anticipation was already building. "I'll be ready."

She hung up with mixed feelings. She'd lost her heart to this man and his son. Was she too close to manage a proper perspective? Perhaps she had read too much into Nina's possessiveness. If she kept an open mind about the woman, maybe they could still become friends.

Feeling as though she had done all she could for Ricky, she decided to relax. Padding to the bathroom, she turned on the bath water and poured a packet of strawberry scented powder into the tub. When it had filled, she slipped into the fragrant water. Letting her worries drift away, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the warm, steamy thickness of the strawberry scented air.

When she was fully relaxed, she drained the tub and dressed in a soft cotton gown. She poured a cup of decaffeinated coffee and turned on the news. While she listened, she picked up the stack of mail and sorted through the letters. There was a phone bill and a sweepstakes notification and, on the bottom, a letter addressed to her in unfamiliar writing.

She opened the letter first. It was so short that she scanned it in a glance. "Stay away from Jonathon and leave Ricky alone or you'll make me do things I don't want to do."

It was signed, "Eva Parker."

She dropped the letter as though it was afire. Eva was Nina's dead daughter. Rachel shuddered as she wadded the note into a ball. She had been right after all. Nina was a disturbed woman. Only someone mentally off-balance would have written a note which she signed as her deceased daughter.

She stared at the rumpled paper, as though it were an evil thing. Why couldn't Nina give up the past and let Jonathon and Ricky go on with their lives? Worse yet, what did she plan to do if Rachel kept seeing Jonathon and Ricky?

On impulse, she picked up the note and smoothed it out. Folding it carefully inside the envelope, she placed it into her purse. Until now, she had possessed nothing concrete to convince him of Nina's oddities. Now, she had the note. When she saw Jonathon on Saturday, she could decide if she should show it to him.

She got home from her Saturday sessions with little time to dress before Jonathon was to arrive. She touched up her make-up and smoothed her hair. Then she changed from her slacks and rib knit sweater to a tailored dress that matched her green eyes. She was ready just before Jonathon rang the bell.

He stood before her, dark suit fitted to his broad shoulders. The bouquet of carnations he held was at odds with the masculinity of his presence. He held them out to her, his eyes lighting with pleasure at her smile. "Are these still your favorites?"

"Yes. Thanks. They're beautiful. I can't believe you remembered after all these years. Come in while I put them in water."

He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "There's not much I've forgotten about you. You like carnations, cats, chocolate covered cherries, and Italian food. You don't like spiders, horror movies, chili dogs, or snakes. Has much changed from the information I've stored?"

"Not much. Let's see what I can remember about you."

She pursed her lips as she arranged the flowers in a vase. "You always liked science fiction, detective shows, and sport cars."

He grinned. "Not much change there, either."

She set the vase on the table and stepped back to admire the effect. "This really was thoughtful of you. Thanks."

He stood behind her and placed his hands gently on her shoulders. Leaning down, he spoke near her ear. "I've always thought of you like a flower, innocent and pure, going your own sweet way despite the corruption of the rest of the world."

She shivered as his warm lips caressed her ear with these words of esteem. "I've got my share of bad habits. I hope you won't be disappointed when you discover them."

"I could never be disappointed in you." He turned her to face him. As she raised her eyes slowly to his, she felt her heart twist in her chest. Would she be disappointed again?

As he bent to touch her lips softly with his own, she knew she could never again pretend their relationship centered only on a concern for Ricky. It was about the two of them, picking up the pieces that had been shattered so long ago. Could she trust him with her heart? Would he become the man God desired him to be?

Looking into his dark eyes, she saw a depth of longing that reached to his soul. "I could stay here all evening just looking at your face. However, I did promise you a dinner. Are you ready to go?"

She nodded. Scooping up her purse, she preceded him out the door and into the mild evening. The moon, round and low, was rising on the horizon.

The smell of succulent steak drifted from a barbeque in progress on a nearby patio. The reaction of her stomach told her the pack of cheese crackers she had eaten in a hurried lunch had not been sufficient.

"I made reservations at a small French restaurant. I'm going to lure you into trying one of their pastries. They have a terrific bakery.

"Sounds good to me. I hardly had a chance to eat lunch today. Terri took the afternoon off to go to a picnic at Eric's company."

They stopped at a light and Jonathon's eyes rested sympathetically on her face. "It sounds like you've been holding up Terri's end of the load a lot lately. Aren't you supposed to be equal partners?"

He was right. Yet in loyalty to her long-time friend, she answered, "Terri can't help it. She's always falling in love. After awhile it passes and she throws herself back into her work."

"I don't know. It sounds like she may be serious about this guy." The light changed and he turned his attention back to the road.

She admitted to herself that Terri was more committed to this relationship than to any she'd had before. She'd taken off twice during the last week to meet Eric for lunch, leaving Rachel to complete the monthly expense accounts by herself. She'd bitten her lip to keep from complaining when Terri had come back a half-hour late each time wearing a radiant expression.

They parked at the restaurant and Jonathon turned to her. "I want to ask you something before we go in. Ricky has spring break the week after next. I've arranged to take the whole day off on Monday."

He paused, knowing she would approve, though he knew he'd have to work extra hard to make up the workload. "We'll take the boat out and go to Lake Livingstone for a picnic and some water skiing. You've been covering for Terri lately. Do you suppose she could cover for you and you could come along?"

She caught her lip between her teeth, trying to think it through. The last time she had made it a threesome, the results had been unsettling. As though reading her mind, he said, "I talked it over with Ricky and he really wants you to come. We both do."

She grinned. "I can't resist the two of you. If Ricky wants me to come, I'll see what I can do."

"Great. Now, since we're both starved, let's eat."

After a filling meal, she walked out with a sigh of contentment. "That was so good it almost inspires me to take up French cooking."

Jonathon held the car door for her to slip inside. "I remember you being a good cook. You made me a lot of great brownies."

She laughed. "That's the problem. I only learned to bake desserts."

"That works for me."

She watched him walk around the car. His thick dark hair was tousled from the breeze, his brows knit in a thoughtful expression. She longed to hold him close and run her fingers through the wayward tresses, to smooth his dark brows with her lips, casting out any thoughts except those of her. As he slid into the car beside her, she remembered the feel of his lips when he kissed her in the apartment.

"Still want to look at art? The reception lasts until ten."

Feeling as though her thoughts had betrayed her, she felt a flush creep to her cheeks. "Yes. I'd like to see it."

At the exhibit, he explained, "My firm is one of the sponsors for this show. I thought it would be interesting to see where some of our corporate funds are going."

It was interesting. The collection spanned over a hundred years, with landscapes from early European masters to more modern twentieth century work. Though neither of them knew much about the critique of fine art, they had fun decorating an imaginary house with paintings from the collection.

When the exhibit closed, he linked his arm around her waist for the walk to the car. Held close against his side, she felt cherished and protected. It had been a long time since she'd felt such desire to belong, body and heart, to any man.

After he drove her home, they paused at her door. She laced her arms around his neck. Their lips met in a gentle kiss and she knew those lips would haunt her dreams.

"I better be getting in. I have a Sunday school lesson to finish for tomorrow," she murmured, breaking the spell.

"That's okay. I have to get back. Nina won't want me to stay out too late."

She had forgotten all about the rest of the world. When she was alone with Jonathon, it was as though time, and the rest of creation, ceased to exist. She was conscious only of the magnetic presence of his personality.

He brushed her hair gently off her cheek. "I can hardly stand to be away from you. Since I have to leave tomorrow afternoon, I may have to attend your class just to see you before I go."

She gave his strong fingers a gentle squeeze. "I'd love to have you there, no matter what the reason. You'll get hooked on the lessons and, before you know it, you'll want to read the book of Matthew, and then, the whole New Testament."

"I don't doubt you could inspire me to do it."

After another brief kiss, he turned to go. As she entered her apartment, she knew the evening had been perfect. There had been no one and nothing to spoil the sweet closeness they had shared.

As she settled on the couch with her lesson, her mind wandered back to Jonathon. She thought of him, going home to relieve Nina. The thought cast a shadow over on her hopes for their future. Could the closeness of this evening last? Or would Nina find a way to spoil it? She thought of the letter lying hidden in her purse. She disliked the thought of upsetting Jonathon by revealing its presence.

Yet she could not deny its veiled threat was as real as Nina herself. Turning her concentration back to her notebook, she prayed for wisdom for her lesson and her life.

CHAPTER SIX

She arrived at church with a sense of anticipation. Did Jonathon mean what he said? Would he really come? The sound of voices in the hall told her the class was arriving. June Cravens boomed above the others, speaking to George Taylor, who was almost deaf. Rachel loved the patience and humor of these older folk. Most had been in the church for years and could have taught the class from the knowledge they had accumulated. Instead, they appreciated her youth and enthusiasm, planning lessons and pot luck luncheons. She preferred this group to the singles class she had attended.

They filled the room, chatting as they waited for Annie to begin playing the hymns. They sang with unabashed fervor. Rachel glanced at her watch and fought the twinge of disappointment that Jonathon had not come. What had she expected? She had tried in vain while in high school to get him involved in the church youth group. Why expect that he would come now?

Annie finished the last hymn and Rachel began reading the class announcements. As she finished, she looked up to see Jonathon peer cautiously into the room. Their eyes met and some of the apprehension left his face. He stepped inside and slipped into a back row chair. White -haired heads turned curiously to see the young man. She grinned at the stir he caused and the look on his face. It was obvious he had expected a younger group.

After finishing the announcements, Rachael threw herself into the moving story of Jesus' struggle at Gethsemane. The study would culminate with the resurrection on Easter Sunday.

When class was over, she collected her notes while Jonathon made his way toward her. "Sorry I was late. I had to find Ricky's class and then ask for directions here."

She smiled warmly. "I'm thrilled you came. I'm a little surprised, too."

He was surprised by how right it felt to walk through the church doors. He said, "I wanted to see what's been drawing you all these years."

She longed to make him understand the depth of comfort she had derived from her faith. With all her heart she desired for him to experience it, too. Yet, she sensed she must move slowly. For today, it was enough that he had come. So she asked simply, "Are you staying for church?"

"Only if I can sit by a beautiful and eloquent woman."

"There were several in this class, but they've left. I'm afraid you're stuck with me." She grinned impishly.

"You'll do nicely." He slipped his arm around her waist as they walked through the now empty room. At the doorway, he released her. "Don't want to cause a scandal."

"It's too late. After your appearance this morning, the whole church will be talking about me," she teased.

They picked up Ricky at his room and admired the craft he held proudly. "Did you like Sunday school?" Rachel asked.

He nodded enthusiastically. "It was fun. I'm glad I could go. I was sick last night after Grandma gave me some yucky medicine. I was okay this morning."

She glanced quickly at Jonathon for an explanation. He rubbed Ricky's hair and said, "Nina thought he was upset because we went out. I think it was something he ate. He was fine this morning."

The music was starting as they made their way down the aisle. Though she tried to concentrate on the hymns, she couldn't get her mind off what Ricky had said.

After the service, they walked together toward their cars. Before he climbed in, she knelt down beside Ricky.

"Did you feel sick before your grandmother gave you the medicine?"

"No."

"You were fine before she gave you the medicine and then you felt sick?"

He nodded.

She faced Jonathon. "Why would she do such a thing?"

He wore a puzzled frown. "Do what?"

"Give a child something to deliberately make him sick!"

He sighed. "She probably gave him some bismuth after he told her his stomach was upset. Unfortunately, it was already too late." He grimaced as he held the door for Ricky to hop

inside.

"Ricky said he felt fine before the medicine. Did you ask what she gave him?"

His frown deepened. "No. Of course not. Like I told you, she thought he made himself sick from getting upset when we went out."

Struck by a revelation, she said, "Don't you see? She wants you to believe that seeing me is making Ricky sick. She wants us to feel guilty and she'll do anything to make it work, even making him sick."

He shook his head. "Now wait a minute. She may be bitter about Eva, but she wouldn't do that to Ricky."

"I don't know how you can be so sure."

"I've told you what a help she's been. She came over early this morning to start a baked chicken for lunch. I was going to ask you to join us."

She shook her head. "Not unless you take this more seriously. I don't think she should be taking care of Ricky."

"I can't believe you're being this way after listening to a sermon about forgiveness. I know she hasn't been nice to you, but she's a grieving old woman."

"It's not about forgiveness. It's about using Ricky as a pawn." Suddenly she remembered the note.

"She mailed me a letter. I left it in my other purse. She said I should stop seeing you or she would have to do things she didn't want to do. What was really bizarre was that she signed it from Eva."

His disapproving frown turned to open mouthed surprise. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I wonder what things she meant."

"I don't know. Probably giving Ricky something like ipecac to make him sick."

He shook his head. "I still can't believe it. I'll keep an eye on her when I get back in town."

"You mean you're going away this week and leaving him with her?"

"I don't really have a choice. It's my job. Anyway, she's his grandmother. She wouldn't do anything really bad for him."

For a moment, Jonathon felt a stab of uncertainty. He dispelled it with the thought that Nina had cared for Ricky since he was a baby.

She clenched her hands in impotent frustration. "You can't put your job before Ricky's safety."

"He'll be fine until I get back. It sounds like she only wants to get back at you. Since we won't be going out this week everything should be fine."

She shook her head disapprovingly.

In response, he said, "It'll be okay. You'll see."

He rubbed her cheek gently. "Are you sure you won't come for lunch? Maybe it would help if you and Nina got to know each other better."

She wavered. She wanted to spend time with him before he left and she wanted to watch over Ricky. Perhaps she could learn something from the way Nina treated Ricky at home. Yet, what good would it do? She couldn't stay there while Jonathon was gone. More importantly, she couldn't take the chance that her visit might upset Nina.

She shook her head. If she couldn't help, she wouldn't come at all.

He shrugged. "I'll miss you this week."

She tried to smile. "I'll miss you, too. Thanks for coming to church. I hope you'll come again."

He nodded. "I think I will."

After wishing him a good trip, she headed for her car.

She tried not to worry about Ricky as she began a new week. Yet she found, more often than not, his small face etched itself in her mind. When it was time for his tutoring session, she was relieved by his exuberant entrance. "I'm getting my cast off tomorrow. Then, Dad's taking me out on his boat next Monday to celebrate. I'm going to learn to water ski. He's going to ask you to come along. Will you? Please?"

She knelt down to him. "I don't know. I'll have to see if I can. I promise I'll try."

Nina's voice cut in abruptly. "Miss Ashworth is your tutor, not your playmate. I'm sure she has lots to do besides boating."

Rachel stared into the cold eyes. Without commenting, she took Ricky's hand and led him to the cubicle. Seating herself beside him, she asked, "How have you been?"

"Okay."

"Have you missed your daddy?"

He nodded. "I have to stay in my room after supper and be quiet. I don't like to stay in my room so much."

"Why do you have to stay in your room?"

"If I come out, I make noise and give Grandma a headache."

"Oh. What do you do in your room?"

"I play on the computer. Dad got me lots of games."

She felt her exasperation rise. Would Jonathon ever understand? A computer and all the games in the world were no substitute for a father.

Helpless to interfere, she turned her attention to the papers Mrs. Jeffries sent for Rachel to check his progress. It was a relief to have someone co-operate with her efforts.

"This is great. You made mostly B's last week. I'm proud of you."

Ricky grinned in response and pointed to a sticker on his shirt. "I got this for good work."

"You've been working hard. Are you ready to work some more? Maybe you can earn a sticker from me."

They worked steadily to learn compound words. When they finished, she let him pick out a sticker for his effort. He bounced from the cubicle, slowing to compose himself as he reached the door to the reception area. Rachael let him go out alone. Nina didn't want to see her and she seemed to take it out on Ricky.

After they left the building Rachael found Terri in her cubicle, completing her paperwork. She glanced up at Rachel's appearance.

"Got a minute?" Rachel asked.

"Sure."

"Could you cover for me next Monday if I decide to go boating?"

"Boating?"

"Yes. Jonathon's taking Ricky out on their boat and I'm invited to come along. Nina would love for me to decline, but Ricky wants me to come and I'm not going to let her chase me off." Her lips closed in a determined line.

"That's the spirit. Speaking of time off, I rescheduled my Friday night appointments. I'm going to work them in on Sunday afternoon."

"Let me guess. You want to clean your apartment.

Terri grinned. "Right."

"Tell Eric "hi".

....

Rachael didn't hear from Jonathon until Saturday night.

"What a week," he said. "We worked almost around the clock.

I'm exhausted. Even so, I wish I had gotten in sooner. I would love to have asked you out."

"That's okay. I have lots of paperwork to do tonight. How's Ricky?"

"He's fine. He tells me he remembered to invite you to go boating. Are we on for Monday?"

"I'm all set. I asked Terri to cover what I couldn't re-schedule. She only has a couple to work in."

"Good. I'm glad you're coming."

"Me, too. But I have to warn you. I haven't skied in years."

"It's like riding a bike. You'll pick it back up."

She signed. "I hope you're right."

"By the way, I'd like to thank you for the way you've helped Ricky. He brought home a report card yesterday with all A's and B's. You deserve the credit."

She was proud of what she was able to accomplish with Ricky. It was a feeling she had often lacked as a classroom teacher. Back then, she had struggled with too many students and too many different needs.

"I've been able to give him individual attention and that does help. However, a lot of credit goes to his teacher."

"I don't know. I'm impressed with you," Jonathon insisted.

She laughed. "You won't be after you see me ski."

"Leave that for me to decide."

On Sunday, she awoke with the hope that Jonathon would decide to return to her class. Not just for his sake, but for Ricky's also. It was important he begin to receive a religious education.

The fragrant scent of jasmine and honeysuckle drifted into the car as she drove through a neighborhood of modest, well kept, homes. Many of the yards were ablaze with purple rosebuds, other yards sported pink puffs of mimosa. What would it be like to have a yard again? To dig in the dirt and watch your bulbs spring to life each year? She thought of the small garden outside Jonathon's courtyard, tended by a professional service. What would she plant there if it were her garden? Flowers. She would take out the shrubs and plant azalea, pansies and tulips. She laughed at her thoughts. If she were to marry Jonathon, what made her think he would want her to change his yard?

She reached the church and hurried to her classroom. Having dawdled over a second cup of coffee, she was running late. She reached the room, just as Annie began the music.

She scanned the heads as she scurried to her seat. Jonathon was seated where he had sat the week before. He glanced up with a smile as their eyes met.

She continued her lesson about Jesus' treatment at the hands of the Sanhedrin and the struggles of his disciples to accept and understand what was happening. When she finished, she hurried over to Jonathon. "I'm glad you came back."

"You got me hooked. Now I have to hear the rest of the story."

"There's more. After this, we're studying the Acts of the Apostles."

"Guess I better stick around."

Happiness bubbled inside her. She was back with the man she had always loved and he was seeking what had always been missing in his life---fellowship with God. She was thrilled God was allowing her to be a part.

They picked up Ricky and settled into a pew. Sitting beside the two of them, she felt she had the family she had always wanted. There wasn't a doubt in her mind she could love Ricky as she would her own son. She already did.

When the service ended, they walked together to the parking lot. "How about lunch?" Jonathon asked.

Her eyebrows raised in automatic alert.

Jonathon smiled. "Just the three of us. We'll grab some hamburgers."

"Yeah. Yeah!" Ricky was jumping up and down.

Since he'd not mentioned Nina, she said, "I'd love to."

"Great. We'll meet you there." Jonathon nodded towards the hamburger stand.

As they stood in line to order, he said, "I do a lot of eating out. You know what I miss the most? It's those fudge brownies you used to make when we were in high school."

She smiled. "I've still got the recipe. I'll make some for the picnic tomorrow."

After lunch, they sat near the playground to watch Ricky play on the equipment. "Tell Terri "thanks" when you see her," Jonathon said.

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh. What for?"

"She recommended my firm to her boyfriend's company and they decided to use our services. They have overseas holdings and I've been put in charge of drawing up some needed documents."

She paused, drink in mid-air. "I haven't seen as much of Terri lately. She's been having lunch with Eric a lot. I guess she forgot to tell me about the referral. I'm not sure whether to thank her or glue her files together. Won't this extra work just make you busier?"

He shrugged. "A little. If it hadn't been that, it would have been something else. At least, this way, the senior partners are impressed that I was recommended. They like the associates to bring in business."

She twirled her straw. Without looking up, she asked, "How much work will it take to get the position you want with this firm?"

"Probably no more than I'm already doing."

Sounding hurt, he added, "I thought you'd be pleased that Terri recommended me."

"I am. Still, I hope you won't get any busier."

Covering her hand with his, he said, "I won't. Special projects take a little more time, though."

"I know, but don't forget how much Ricky needs you right now."

"I won't. I could be at the country club playing golf and dining on a steak sandwich. Here I am, spending the day with Ricky. I'm doing pretty well, huh?"

He felt the familiar tug of loyalty between job and home.

She smiled. "You're doing great."

He dislodged Ricky from the play land with an offer to play miniature golf. "How about coming along?" he asked

She shook her head. "I'm terrible at golf. Besides, I think this should be a father and son game."

"Are you sure?" Turning to Ricky, he asked, "You don't mind if Miss Ashworth comes, do you?"

Ricky shook his head. "Nope."

"You two go ahead. I promised to make some brownies for tomorrow. I want to do it this afternoon."

Jonathon studied her with approval. "I'll look forward to tasting them. I'll come by to get you about nine, okay?"

"Okay."

After stealing a quick kiss as Ricky climbed into the car, he drove away. She watched, hoping with all her heart the time she and Jonathon spent together would bring them close. They would need every scattered moment they could steal to make up for all they had missed during the last ten years.

The next morning, she woke to bright sunlight streaming through the blinds. She stretched lazily and glanced at the clock. It was only eight o'clock. She had nothing to do during the next hour except eat breakfast and get dressed. After that, an entire lovely day stretched before her.

She rose and slipped into a swim suit which she covered with white shorts and a striped cotton blouse. She pulled her hair back into a sleek ponytail and curled her bangs. Adding a pair of daisy earrings and a light touch of make-up, she was ready for the day.

She poured a cup of coffee and opened her kitchen blinds to let sunlight spill across the table. As she sipped almond-flavored coffee, she wondered if Ricky and Jonathon had enjoyed a good afternoon. She was sure they had. It was great to see Jonathon spending time with his son.

At nine o'clock the doorbell rang. Grabbing her purse and the pan of brownies, she hurried to the door. She patted her purse. "I put some sunscreen in here so no one gets burned."

"Good. I'm glad you thought of it." There was a hint of worry in his eyes. She knew without asking that something was wrong. Before she could ask, he said, "I had to call Nina last night to tell her she didn't need to watch Ricky today. When I told her we were going on the boat, she wanted to come along. I couldn't tell her "no". Not with all the things she does for us like cooking and helping around the house."

Rachel's happiness faded like the sun that slipped behind a cloud, casting a shadow across the open doorway. Her high spirits evaporated.

Before she could respond, he said, "I know you two don't get along. I hope you'll put up with her just for today. Ricky is looking forward to having you come and so am I. It will ruin our day if you back out now."

She sighed. She disliked the thought of spending a day with Nina. Yet she'd already rescheduled her tutoring sessions. What would she do if she didn't go? Hang around the apartment and feel miserable? No. She might as well go and not let Nina ruin her day. She had been praying for a chance to touch Nina with Christian love. Maybe this was it.

When they reached the car, she noticed Ricky and his grandmother seated in the backseat. She smiled brightly as she slipped inside. "I haven't been water skiing in years. I hope I remember how."

"Dad's going to teach me now that I have my cast off."

Ricky examined his arm.

"If you're not careful you'll break it again," Nina predicted with a glower.

Jonathon slipped inside in time to hear her remark. "Nobody's going to break anything. I'm too good a teacher."

Towing the boat behind them, they sped toward the interstate and were soon on their way to the lake. Nina was quiet on the way there, speaking only to reprimand Ricky when his childish chatter got too noisy. After awhile, Rachel suggested they play the alphabet game, which thrilled Ricky when he was the first to find each letter and beat his tutor.

When they crossed the causeway, they began to see rivulets of water alongside the highway. They parked at the beach and took in a view of the ocean. Though she'd been there many times, the view always took away her breath.

Nina and Ricky walked along the shore while Rachel helped Jonathon unlatch the boat and launch it down the ramp. "Okay, so far with Nina?" he asked. His eyes were solicitous.

Smiling, she replied, "Fine, so far."

The boat had two seats in front and a deck with more seating in the back. After they put on life jackets, Jonathon said, "Since I'm going to have to drive, we'll let Rachel ski first. You watch her, Ricky, and see what to do."

She grimaced. "Poor kid. You expect him to learn this from me?"

"You'll do fine." He handed her the skis.

She took her position, clutching the rope while she waited for Jonathon to pull her away from shore. Starting slowly, she enjoyed the gentle breeze as the shore fell away and she was towed into the water. As they picked up speed, she was filled with exhilaration. It was like old times.

She fell once, but quickly recovered the skill she had once taken for granted. When it was Ricky's turn, she coached him from shore while Jonathon towed him into the water. After several tries, he managed to stay up. Excited by his efforts, they spent most of the morning teaching him to ski.

As the sun aligned itself overhead, Jonathon docked at the marina. "I'm hungry. How about lunch? There are some picnic tables and a restroom over there." He pointed to covered concrete tables which nestled near a small building.

"That sounds great," Rachel admitted. "I could use some lunch."

Nina emerged from the front of the boat and walked Ricky towards the bathrooms. As Jonathon strode to the car to get the picnic basket, Rachel slipped onto the boat, retrieved her shorts and shirt and slipped them on. Her swimsuit, dried from the air and sun, felt warm under her clothes.

They sat together, eating sandwiches and chips, and sipping soft drinks. Becoming more animated, Nina talked of trips to the beach when she was a child. She had been raised in a small town on the Gulf coast and had spent her childhood swimming and collecting sea shells.

Pausing she appraised Rachel. "You ski very well, dear. My Eva was never one for sports. She was so small and frail. Such a tiny thing. Yet, she had many other talents. She could play the piano beautifully. Do you remember, Jonathon?"

An uncomfortable silence fell on the group. Jonathon forced a smile. "I remember."

"I insisted she take lessons. Then I had to insist she practice. Children don't know what's best for them. You have to be firm. That's what works best." She fixed Rachel with a challenging smile.

Rachel nodded amicably. "Yes. I have many students who need encouragement to do their best. At first, they do it for my approval, and then, they learn to enjoy a sense of accomplishment."

Breaking the confrontation, Jonathon announced, "I don't know about you all, but I'm ready for brownies."

"Me, too." Ricky reached to uncover the pan, upsetting his soda. Before they could right it, a small amount spilled into Nina's lap.

His eyes grew large. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He scooted away from her to the edge of the bench.

She dabbed with the napkins which were hurriedly presented and said, "I'll slip into the restroom and dampen these a bit. I don't want to be sticky."

She stopped beside Ricky and gave him a hug. "It's okay. You know Grandma doesn't get upset over things like this."

He watched her disappear toward the restroom. "I'm glad she wasn't mad."

Rachel noticed the stiffness of his slender shoulders.

As they served the brownies, she wondered if Nina's reaction would have been so gentle had she not had an audience. Despite Jonathon's assurance that she was the perfect grandma, she still didn't trust her with Ricky.

They spent the rest of the afternoon drifting lazily about the lake. Rachel joined Jonathon in the front while Nina sat with Ricky on the deck. When they had toured the lake and admired the home sites on the hills, Jonathon asked, "Do you want to ski anymore?"

She shook her head. "It was fun but I can already tell I'm going to be sore." She rubbed her calf muscle. "I better not make it any worse."

"If you do it often, you won't get sore each time."

"That sounds like an invitation to come again."

"It is.

"Can I ski again now?" Ricky asked.

Jonathon winked at her. "What do you think? Should we let him?"

She smiled at Ricky. "I think we should."

Despite Nina's warnings of doom, he managed to stay in his skis and was having fun when they quit a half-hour later. On the way home, Jonathon announced, "Ricky and I are going out for pizza. Would anyone else like to come along?"

Nina declined."I don't think I'd better. The brownies were so rich they gave me indigestion. What did you put in them, dear?"

Fighting the urge to prickle at the criticism, Rachel replied mildly, "Oh, the usual. Cocoa, sugar, butter..."

"They were rich and wonderful. Just the way I remember them," Jonathon said.

She gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you."

"If you two want to go out I'd be happy to watch Ricky. He's probably had enough excitement for one day and he could keep me company."

Ricky set up an immediate howl. "No. No. I don't want to stay with Grandma. I want to go for pizza."

Speaking calmly, Jonathon replied, "I've already said you're coming. We'll drop your grandmother off if she doesn't want to go."

Nina placed her arm around Ricky's shoulders. "It's okay, honey. I understand why you're upset. It's hard to share your daddy after losing your mother. I'm glad you miss her."

Rachel glanced quickly to see Jonathon raise his brows in surprise. After a moment of recovery, he said, "No one's trying to make Ricky forget his mother. Still, she's gone, Nina. Hating Rachel won't bring her back."

"I like Miss Ashworth," Ricky piped.

She turned to see Nina give him a withering look. "I don't hate Rachel. I simply think it's too soon to ask Ricky to adjust to a strange woman moving into his life."

"Ricky doesn't seem to have the problem," Jonathon replied tersely.

There was silence for a moment before Nina replied, "Fine, but if he gets sick tomorrow from being drug around all day and night, don't blame it on me."

The words sent a chill down Rachel's back. Squinting, she said tersely, "I would blame you. The last time you were angry with Jonathon and me, you gave Ricky something to make him sick. How could you do such a thing to a child?"

Nina's face turned red. Her eyes flashed."I did no such thing."

"Is that the threat you implied in this note?" She fished in her purse and withdrew the letter of warning.

Nina snatched the letter and perused it quickly. "I've never seen this before. You wrote it yourself to make me look bad. It was cruel to sign it from my daughter."

Her voice broke into a sob.

Ignoring her tears, Rachel said, "I didn't write it. You did. Then, you sent it as a warning. What will you have to do that you don't like? Make Ricky sick?"

"Tell them, Ricky. I didn't make you sick, did I?"

The child's dark, frightened eyes fled from face to face.

"Did I, Ricky?" Her voice was commanding.

"No," he whispered.

"Okay. This is out of hand," Jonathon broke in. "I don't know about the note, but there must be some explanation. Did you write it, Nina?"

"Of course not. It's completely morbid. And very cruel." She began to cry again.

"Well, then, let's forget it for now and talk about something else."

Jonathon's head ached dully from the discomfort of feeling caught in the middle. Surely things could not be as bad as Rachel suggested. Yet, what was the explanation?

Since no one felt like talking, they spent the remainder of the trip watching the scenery pass. After they dropped Nina at her small house, Ricky brightened. "Can we get pizza now? I'm hungry."

"Sure. We can get pizza." Jonathon cast a sideways glance at Rachel. "Would you come with us, please?"

She nodded distractedly, wanting a chance to speak to him privately. Sometime that evening, she intended to get it.

While they ate, Ricky animatedly described his feelings when he began to ski. "It was like flying. I was going so fast. And when I fell down, I went "splash" in the water."

He waved his arm to illustrate his fall. "When can we go again?"

"I don't know. I'll be out of town next weekend," Jonathon said. "Maybe the weekend after that."

He turned to Rachel. "Next time, I'll teach you to drive the boat and we can take turns skiing."

"Ah hah. Now I see your real intent. You need me so that you can ski." For Ricky's sake she subdued her temptation to object to his announcement that he was going out of town. He was gone too much to know what kind of care Nina took of Ricky.

He fixed her with a tender look. "I need you for more than driving my boat."

Touched by his response, she ran her hand along his face.

Ricky chatted happily on the way home. When they reached her apartment, he sat in the backseat playing with a game while Jonathon walked Rachel to her door. Now was her chance to show him the note.

"It does look like her handwriting and it is bizarre. Still, I think she's just a lonely old woman who misses her daughter. I'm sorry she spoiled the ride home."

She met his dark eyes squarely. "I wish you weren't going out of town. I don't think you should be leaving Ricky with her. Can't you find someone else to watch him?"

He sighed. "Ricky's all she has left. It would kill her to have him ripped away. And on what evidence? One goofy note and the far chance that she may have given him something to upset his stomach?"

"You sound like a lawyer."

"I am." Smiling, he brushed a loose strand of hair from her cheek. "I think you're worrying too much."

"Maybe. But what if I'm not. Can't you find someone else to watch him, just for awhile?"

"Who? You?"

"I have to work."

"So do I. I don't have time to look for sitters. It'll be okay, you'll see." He kissed her lightly on the lips.

"I hope so," she whispered as he turned to walk back to his car. For Ricky's sake, she wanted to believe everything was okay. Yet, in her heart, she did not.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Wednesday afternoon, Rachel and Terri sat in the back office, going over accounts. Rachel studied the numbers. "We're making ends meet, but not getting rich, huh?"

"That's okay. I never expected to get rich tutoring."

"Me either. But between the two of us, I think we're going to be able to pay the rent."

Terri hesitated, biting her lip. "You know, Rachel, I may not be your business partner forever."

A sinking feeling settled into Rachel's stomach. She started to ask what Terri meant, then paused when the bell on the door rang.

Nina had arrived. "Ricky's here if anyone's interested," she called.

"I'll be right there." Getting to her feet, Rachel gave Terri a quick glance. "When I finish this session I want you to tell me what's on your mind."

She hurried to the front and noticed Nina had not stayed. She'd left Ricky standing in the doorway, his dark eyes downcast.

"What's wrong, Ricky? Did you have a bad day at school?"

He shook his head. "I was bad. Grandma's mad at me."

"Tell me about it." She drew him toward the cubicle where he did his work. When they had sat down, she leaned forward, waiting expectantly.

"We went by Grandma's house because I had to go to the bathroom. I left my backpack there and we had to go back to get it. Grandma says I can't remember anything."

His long lashes blinked back tears.

She gave him a quick hug. "Everybody forgets things sometimes. Maybe your grandma was having a bad day."

"I gave her a headache," he agreed.

"I doubt it, honey. She probably already had a headache and that made her feel like fussing at you. You didn't do anything bad."

She watched him a moment. He seemed to be thinking.

"I wish you were my grandma."

She laughed. "That would make me older than I already am."

Ruffling his hair, she asked, "Are you ready to get to work?"

He nodded slowly. "Okay."

They looked over his weekly papers and the notes with happy faces drawn by Mrs. Jeffries. Rachel was pleased with the progress he'd made catching up with the class. If he stayed on his medicine, he wouldn't need her help much longer.

When they were finishing a vowel game, she gave his right forearm an encouraging squeeze. He drew back in pain. "Ouch."

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

Tears welled in his eyes. He shook his head, holding his arm near his body.

"What's wrong with your arm?"

"I hurt it." Tears ran down his cheeks.

"How?" She gently drew his arm toward her.

"I burned it."

She rolled up his sleeve to reveal an angry slash of red across his baby-soft skin. "What happened?"

He looked frightened. "I burned myself."

"On what?" She watched him closely.

"On Grandma's curling iron."

Her thoughts flew back to one of their first sessions. She had cautioned him about touching his grandma's curling iron. He was a bright child, too bright to have done it again. The terrible suspicion that had lain nameless in her mind took form.

"Did your Grandma do this to you? Did she do this when she was angry?"

He pulled his arm away, attempting to hide the mark.

"You can tell me, Ricky. It's okay."

"No!" He scrambled out of his chair and ran head-long into Terri who had stepped out from her cubicle. Blocking his flight, she stared wide-eyed from Rachel to the sobbing child.

"What's going on?"

Ignoring the question, Rachel reached out and pulled Ricky gently onto her lap. "It's okay. It's okay," she crooned softly. Meeting Terri's eyes over his dark hair, she shook her head.

When his sobs slowed, she spoke to him softly. "I want to help you, but you have to tell me what happened. If someone is hurting you, I want to make them stop."

"I can't. If I tell anybody the police will come and take me away. I won't ever see my dad again."

"That's not true. The police won't take you away. Who told you they would?"

"Grandma. She said if I told what she did when I was bad, I'd get taken away and locked in jail and I couldn't live with Dad."

"That's not true. Did your Grandma do this to your arm?"

He sniffled and nodded. "It doesn't hurt so much now. But when she pushed me, I broke my arm."

Rachel sucked in her breath, horrified at what she was hearing. She had guessed Nina wasn't the perfect grandmother, but never guessed it had gone so far.

"What else does she do?"

"One time, she made me drink this stuff that made me sick."

"That's it. I'm calling the police," Terri announced.

Rachael felt Ricky stiffen in her arms. "They won't take you, Ricky. I promise. They'll talk to your grandmother and tell her to stop hurting you. You want her to stop, don't you?"

"Uh huh. But I don't want to go to jail." He was sobbing again.

Amidst the sobs, she heard the bell on the door and knew Nina had returned. With a nod to Rachel, Terri headed to the back room to call the police.

Hearing his sobs, Nina plodded to the cubicle and glared at Rachel. "What have you done to Ricky?"

"What have I done?" Rachel struggled to control the anger that boiled in her heart. "I haven't done anything. It's what you've done. You don't punish a child by burning his arm or pushing him down stairs or making him throw up. You're not fit to be a grandmother."

Despite the rouge, Nina's face turned pale. Her mouth dropped open, eyes darting from Rachel to Ricky. Then she seemed to re-group. "Come on Ricky. Let's go home before you tell any more lies."

Clasping the child, Rachel said, "Do you think I would release him to you? You're not taking him anywhere. We've already called the police."

Nina's narrowed eyes reminded Rachel of the face of a gunfighter in a movie. "It's lies. All lies. Do you think Jonathon will believe you? He'll know you made it all up so that you could get rid of me. With me out of the way, they'll be no one to remind him of Eva. That's what you want, isn't it?"

"He'll believe me. All he has to do is look at Ricky's arm."

Nina pointed a stout finger. "I'm leaving, but this isn't the end of it. No one's taking my grandson from me. No one. You'll be sorry you started this. So will Jonathon." She glared at Ricky. "And so will you."

Ricky shivered in Rachel's arms as his grandmother turned and trod to the door.

Terri arrived breathless from her phone call. "I called the police. Should I try and stop her?"

Rachel shook her head. "No. They can question her at home. I'm going to call Jonathon."

She reached his secretary and identified herself, bristling at the familiar reply. "I'm sorry. He's in a meeting."

"Get him out of the meeting. This is an emergency. It's about his son."

She waited impatiently for him to come to the phone.

"Rachel? What's wrong? Is Ricky okay?"

"No. He's not. You'll have to leave your precious meeting and come get him. I won't release him to Nina. I have proof she's abusing him and we've called the police."

Silence on the other end bespoke Jonathon's shock. He exhaled sharply and exclaimed, "Are you sure enough to call the police?"

"Yes. Get over here, okay?" She hung up, feeling impatient. Ricky was Jonathon's son. He would have to handle this. She had enough on her hands without defending her decision to involve the police.

An officer arrived. He was tall and blond with a neatly trimmed mustache. Ricky hid behind Rachel and clung to her skirt.

Pulling him gently beside her she knelt. "It's okay. Show him your arm and then I'll get you a game to play at our work table while I talk to him. Remember what I told you. Nobody's going to take you away."

The officer knelt down eye level with Ricky, "Who did this?"

Ricky was silent.

"It's okay. You can tell him," she urged.

"My grandma." His voice was soft, barely a whisper.

"Has she done it before?"

He nodded.

The officer stood up.

"I'll get him something to play with and meet you in the front office," she said.

Leaving Ricky in the cubicle, she sat at the wicker table with the officer and told him Ricky's story. He rubbed his mustache. "Child welfare's been notified and should be in touch with the father. You say he has custody?"

"Right."

"He won't be allowed to leave his son in the grandmother's care until the case has been resolved. Where can I find the grandmother?"

She gave the officer Nina's home address.

Glancing up, she saw Jonathon's car pull into the spot beside the marked car. In less than a minute, he was inside. From his expression, she knew he had never expected this.

"What's going on? Where's Ricky?"

"He's playing a game in there." She nodded toward the cubicle.

The officer stepped forward. "Mr. Parker?"

Jonathon nodded.

"Let's sit and talk a minute."

Nodding toward Rachel, the officer said, "Miss Ashworth, found a burn mark on Ricky's arm."

He turned to her. "Would you like to tell Mr. Parker what Ricky told you?"

She took a deep breath and repeated the story. When she finished, he shook his head. "I didn't know. I never believed she would be capable of this. She's kept him since he was a baby."

"The officer stood up. "I'm leaving him in your custody. You understand you can't leave your son alone with his grandmother."

He nodded. "Of course."

When the officer left, Rachael glanced toward the cubicle to see Ricky standing just outside, staring at them. His eyes were wide and afraid. Jonathon opened his arms and Ricky ran to him.

"Oh, Ricky...Ricky, you should have told me. I wouldn't have let anybody hurt you or take you away. Let me see your arm."

He examined the red line across Ricky's arm. "You told Rachel this happened before? When Grandma got angry, did she hurt you?"

Ricky nodded solemnly. "She told me not to tell."

He pulled his son into his arms again. "I'm sorry. I haven't been there for you. I should have been. Now look what's happened." Rachel saw moisture gather in his eyes as he buried his face in Ricky's dark hair. She pitied both of them even though she'd tried to tell Jonathon that Ricky needed him. Maybe he would listen now.

A small client arrived. Rachael would have to go back to work. Before she escorted the child to the cubicle she told Jonathon, "Call me later and let me know how he's doing."

It was difficult to keep her mind on lessons for the little girl while her thoughts replayed the events of the afternoon. Over and again, she asked herself what would have happened if Jonathon had been out of town today. Would they have taken Ricky into custody when he was so fearful of being taken away? She praised God with all her heart that Jonathon had been at his office.

She was exhausted when she got home. She set her purse on the counter and sorted through her mail. As she examined an electric bill, the phone rang. It was Jonathon and he sounded tired.

"I just got him to bed."

"How's he doing?"

"I think he's relieved. Now that it's all out in the open, he can feel safe."

"I'm glad. He'll probably have mixed feelings, though. He must wonder why, if his grandmother loves him, she would hurt him all these years. Maybe you could let Dr. Lewis help him sort it all out."

"Maybe we'll do that." He sounded uncertain. "You know Nina blames psychiatrists for all of her problems."

"That's too bad, because I think a good one, like Dr. Lewis, could help her. Have you talked to Nina tonight?"

"No. I called several times, but she didn't answer. Then I called the police and they said they sent a car by, but she wasn't home. I was worried she'd done something crazy, so I called her neighbor and asked her to check the house. She said she saw Nina came home this afternoon, but she left in a hurry. I don't know where she is."

"Probably avoiding the police. Be sure and tell Ricky's school that she's not to pick him up."

"I'll do it first thing in the morning."

"Have you decided what to do with Ricky after school?"

"Yes. We stopped by a day care center that's on my way home from work. They said they could pick him up starting tomorrow. Of course, that doesn't solve my problem of going out of town this weekend."

"Isn't there some way you could cancel?"

"No. I'm the one most familiar with the circumstances of this client."

She was quiet, pondering what to suggest.

He cleared his throat. "Could you help me out, just this once and come over and keep him? It would give me time to figure something out. He likes you and it would get us out of a tight spot."

"I have to work on Saturday."

"Couldn't you take him with you? You could find him something to do. At least you have games there. I can't very well take him to New Jersey with me. What would I do with him while I was in meetings?"

She bit her lip as a warning bell sounded in her mind. This was his problem, not hers. She could not let him shift his fatherly responsibilities. Yet it hadn't been his fault. He hadn't suspected Nina of being unfit to care for Ricky.

"I'll do it once. After this, you better make arrangements to take care of him."

"Thanks. I don't have to leave until eleven on Saturday morning. Could I drop him by your place on my way to the airport? It would be about eight."

He hated begging her for Ricky's care. Yet with Nina proven unfit, his work demands left him no choice but to turn to Rachel. Couldn't she understand he could not have foreseen this problem?

She sighed, still not liking the twist things had taken. "That would be fine."

"I'll leave a key to my place. It will be easier to take care of him there."

"That's true. He has all of his clothes and toys there."

"Thanks again, Rachel. I owe you."

He certainly did. When they hung up, her mind was spinning with events of the day. Foremost in her thoughts, was Ricky. Yet, there was something else, too. Thinking back, she recalled what Terri had told her about not always being her partner.

Tomorrow, she would ask her what she meant. But not tonight. She was too tired to think anymore. She took a shower and curled up in bed with a book until sleep overtook her.

Thursday morning, she met Terri for a long overdue session of Jazzercise. "You've been falling off on exercise lately, my friend," she said with a grin.

Terri beamed in return. "I don't care. I've never been so happy. Take a look."

She extended her hand and Rachel gaped at the sparkly diamond that adorned her finger.

"It's gorgeous. You're getting married?"

"In June."

"I know I should have expected it. Still, I'm a little surprised. It seems so soon. You've only known each other a few months."

"We've spent a lot of time together. Enough for me to know Eric's the only man I'll ever love."

She gave her friend a hug. "I'm happy for you. I really am."

Later, over chef salads, Rachel asked, "Is this what you were trying to tell me yesterday when you said you wouldn't always be my business partner?"

Terri chewed thoughtfully, and then replied, "I've given it a lot of thought. We're planning to live across town. It's a long ways from here, and with me having to work evenings and weekends, we'd hardly see each other. It doesn't seem like the best start for a marriage. Are you upset?"

"I'm a little worried. I'm not sure I can handle enough business by myself to keep the center going."

"You could find another partner."

"I don't know who. All the teachers I know are still teaching full time."

"Maybe you could hire two people part-time. Anyway you don't have to worry about it yet. I'm not leaving until after the wedding. It will work out, you'll see."

Where had she heard those words before? Jonathon had told her things would work out with Nina. And they had not. She fought the anxiety that threatened to fill her thoughts. She had worked hard for this business. It was her life. Terri had worked hard, too. How could she walk away? Rachel wanted to chastise her, to insist that she stay. Yet, how could she do so if Terri would be miserable doing it?

"You're right. It'll work out."

Later, as she drove home, she repeated words from Psalm 42. "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God."

....

Ricky was quiet when Jonathon dropped him off on Saturday morning. He watched his dad with solemn eyes as Jonathon handed her the house key. "I've had the locks changed so Nina's key won't work."

She nodded. "Good idea."

"Thanks again for keeping Ricky." He turned to the child. "You be a good boy, okay?"

Ricky nodded.

Jonathon's heart twisted at the expression on his son's small solemn face. If only this meeting were not so crucial, he could have put it off to stay home with Ricky. But the partners didn't care about his problems, only his output.

He turned to Rachel. "I better run. I'll see you Sunday." With a quick kiss, he hurried off.

"Have you had breakfast?" She asked Ricky, putting the key on her key ring.

"No. I wasn't hungry."

"Are you hungry now?"

"Yes."

She smiled. "How about if I make us both some breakfast? You like pancakes?"

He responded with a grin. "Yeah!"

She soon had a stack of pancakes sitting on the table. As they dug into the pile, she asked, "How do you like the day care center?"

He shrugged. "It's okay. Grandma came to see me yesterday. She was standing outside the fence at the playground, but my teacher wouldn't let me talk to her. I miss her a little, but mostly I don't." He looked thoughtful as he speared another bite.

Then he changed the subject. "You have any toys here?"

"No. But we won't be here much. In a few minutes, we have to go to the learning center so I can help the children who come in today. When I'm finished, we'll go to your house and I'll stay there with you tonight."

He nodded, seeming content with her answer. After he wolfed down three pancakes, they headed to the center, where she found crayons, paper, and several games to occupy Ricky while she began her first session. She offered him new activities each time she changed clients.

The morning went well. They took a pizza break for lunch and she let him play a few video games in the pizza parlor. Then it was back to work.

Tired of entertaining himself all morning, he soon grew restless. She found him two plastic cars and let him run them around the reception area. When he tired of that, she dug into her drawers and found him some glue and construction paper and set him to work making paper chains.

During the break before her last appointment, he announced, "I'm tired. I want to go home."

"You've been a good sport. Just one more and then we'll leave." She looked through the prize drawer and handed him a clown face with rolling beads for eyes. "Here. See if you can get these little balls into his eyes."

When she finished her last appointment, she found him crawling under the furniture in the reception area. The plastic clown face was lying, long forgotten, on the floor. He pointed to a man passing by the windows. "There's dragons out there and I'm in their cave. I can't let them see me."

He retreated under the desk.

She was amused by his imagination and equally exhausted by a day of keeping him occupied while she tried to do her job. Knowing the next order of business was to get him fed, she weighed her options. She had no idea what might be in Jonathon's refrigerator from which to make a meal. Since she didn't feel like cooking, she stooped to peer under the desk and ask, "Do you think we could sneak past the dragons and dash to the car? I thought you might like a hamburger for supper."

He crawled out from under the desk. "Can we go to one with a play land?"

"I think we can."

After he ate and examined the plastic toy that came with his meal, she allowed him a half-hour to play. He played alone, making no effort to interact with the other children. She made a mental note to call Paula Jeffries and check on his social adjustment at school.

The sun was setting as they drove to his house. She parked in front and retrieved her overnight bag from the trunk. He watched her curiously. "Are you going to live here now?

"No, honey. I just brought a few clothes and things I would need for tonight. When your dad gets home tomorrow, I'll go back to my apartment."

As they walked to the door, he looked into her face. "I wish you could live here. I think it would be fun."

She set her bag on the porch and unlocked the door. "I tell you what. We'll have fun tonight. Maybe we could play a game or read a story. What would you like to do?"

"A computer game."

She opened the door and followed him up a central spiral staircase. On the way up, she glanced around the house. It was the first time she had been inside. There was an open room at the top of the landing occupied by a desk and several bookcases. She guessed Jonathon used this area for an office. There was a bedroom to the right, a guest room, no doubt, and another bedroom to the left where Ricky waited eagerly in the doorway.

They spent the next hour trying to find their way through a computer maze to win a key to unlock a riddle. She had to give Jonathon credit for choosing a game that would help Ricky learn, instead of one based purely on reflex.

At nine o'clock she announced. "You take a quick bath and brush your teeth and I'll read you one story before you go to bed."

He was prompt. He was out of the bathroom in ten minutes and tucked under his cover while she read him Doctor Seuss, "Green Eggs and Ham". He giggled at the silly rhymes, loving the story as much as she had when she had read it in her classroom.

When they finished, she asked, "Do you want me to stay while you say your prayers?"

He looked at her blankly. "I don't know how to pray."

"Hasn't anyone ever taught you?"

He shook his head.

"It's easy. When I pray, I tell God what's on my mind and ask him to help me with my problems. I ask him to forgive me for things I've done wrong and to bless all the people I love. Do you want to give it a try? "

"I want you to do it."

She knelt beside his bed. "Dear Lord, please bless Ricky and keep him safe. Please keep his daddy safe and bless their lives together. Please help Ricky grow up into the boy you want him to be."

She opened her eyes and smiled. "That was easy, huh?"

He nodded. "Ask God to make my grandma well. Dad says she's sick."

"I'm going to let you do that. God listens to little boys."

She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "Good-night, Ricky." She walked out quietly and turned out the light.

She picked up her bag from the living room and glanced around. The downstairs held a formal dining room and behind it, a breakfast bar and kitchen. To the left, was the master bedroom. She stood, indecisively holding her bag. She could sleep upstairs where Nina had sometimes spent the night or in the master bedroom. Not feeling comfortable with either choice, she finally chose the master bedroom.

She set her bag inside and viewed the room. It possessed a distinct masculine flavor. The bedspread was chocolate brown and the furniture a simple mahogany. The room lacked decorative touches and the windows were adorned only with mini-blinds. Peering into the adjoining bath, she noted that it was clean and equally unadorned.

She showered quickly and slipped into her gown. She was preparing to brush her teeth when she heard the phone. She reached to answer, then froze. It was probably Jonathon. Yet, what if it was not? It could be a friend or relative, someone who knew he was not married. What would they think if she were to answer? Would Jonathon would be worried if she ignored it? Annoyed with him for putting her in this position, she forced herself to pick up the receiver.

"Hello."

No answer. She could hear someone breathing on the other end.

"Hello."

Click. She replaced the receiver, suspicion filling her mind. Was it an old girlfriend, someone who would hang up at the sound of a female voice? Or someone who knew she was here alone? Who had Jonathon told?

A shiver crept along her spine as the phone rang again.

Tentative this time, she raised it slowly. "Hello."

Again, the sound of breathing. She was ready to hang up. Then, the caller spoke, her voice slurred and halting.

"So...you just wanted to help Ricky? That's all you wanted? I don't think so. You're nothing but a gold digger."

Rachel's mind reeled at the insulting words. Instinctively, she began to deny the charge. "I'm just here..." she paused, thinking. Should she tell Nina they were alone?

It didn't matter. Nina wasn't listening. "My poor Eva. When I think what he's done to her memory, what you've done to her memory..." her voice dissolved into sobs.

Rachel felt her legs shaking. "No one wants to take away any memories. I know you loved your daughter. Jonathon loved her, too. But she's dead and it's time to go on. Please, won't you let someone help you? I can give you the number of my minister. He could talk to you, help you feel better. Would you call him, please?"

She wasn't sure if Nina was listening until she replied. "You're trying to trick me. You want to find out where I am. I won't let you. You're going to pay for what you've done. All of you."

The vindictive outburst was followed by the buzz of the dial tone. Rachel clutched the phone, trying to sort out what Nina had said. Was it a threat? Were they in danger?

She thought of calling the police, but what could they do? No one even knew where Nina was staying. She would have to hope whatever drugs or alcohol had slurred her speech would make her sleepy and she would awaken in a more reasonable state in the morning.

Nonetheless, it was late into the night before Rachel fell into a restless sleep. Every creak of the house and breeze that rattled the windows set her nerves on edge. It seemed she had just dozed off when the wind picked up and the thunder began to roll. She squinted to see flashes of lightning brighten the blinds. Moments later, she heard Ricky cry out from the room above.

Her heart pounded as she sprinted up the stairs. He sat huddled in bed, clutching the covers. She spoke soothingly. "It's okay, Ricky. It's just a storm."

She perched on the side of his bed, taking his small, cold hands in her own. "Grandma says if I'm bad the lightning will get me. It strikes bad children and they die."

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Ricky you'll have to forget the things your grandma told you. Lightning doesn't strike children because they're bad. It's just part of nature, like the wind and rain. You're safe here in your bed."

His small hand relaxed as she gently stroked his fingers. After awhile, the storm grew farther away and his eyes grew heavy. She settled him on his pillow and waited until he closed his eyes. Then, on tiptoe, she quietly left the room. Wide awake again, it took her another half-hour to get back to sleep.

She woke groggily to the sound of her alarm placed on the unfamiliar headboard of Jonathon's bed. She shut it off and glanced around, taking a minute to remember her surroundings.

She felt a sense of relief as she came fully awake. They had made it through the night. It was Sunday. This evening, Jonathon would return and she could go back to her own apartment, her own bed and her safe and familiar surroundings.

She carefully remade the bed, dressed, and applied her make-up. A glance at the clock told her she had an hour before they had to leave for church. Deciding she had time to make French toast, she awoke Ricky and left him to get dressed while she began their breakfast.

After breakfast, she took stock of the food supplies. Jonathon was due back at six o'clock. She intended to surprise him with a home-cooked dinner, but there seemed to be little on hand. She found some ground meat and a box of dried potatoes. Looking through the cupboard, she discovered a box of cereal, tomato sauce and a can of corn. Meatloaf, she decided would be the best possibility.

She set the meat in the refrigerator to thaw and cleaned up the breakfast dishes. When it was time to leave, Ricky was dressed and eager to go. She dropped him at his class while she presented her lesson to her senior adults. She was amused by the questions regarding Jonathon's absence and knew she must remember to tell him he was missed.

Ricky was on his best behavior during church. She rewarded him with a taco lunch and a stop at the playground. She sat outside, watching him play and enjoying a perfect day for late March. Mild and clear, and pleasantly warm.

It was perfect, except that she missed Jonathon and still carried her nagging fears about Nina. She wanted him to hold her and tell her everything would be okay. She would feel much better when he got back tonight.

They left the park in late afternoon. While Ricky played in his room, she mixed the meatloaf. She expected Jonathon in an hour and wanted dinner to be done when he got home. She put the meatloaf in the oven, and then began to set the table.

As she was arranging the tableware, Ricky wandered in with a frog puppet on his hand. "Froggy can help you."

"Thanks, Froggy."

He was scooting a plate to his spot when the telephone rang. He turned to answer it and she stepped deftly into his path, worried it might be Nina. "You finish setting the table. I'll get the phone."

Her hands felt clammy. She wished Jonathon were here to take the call.

She took a deep breath and answered. "Hello."

"Rachel." Hearing Jonathon's voice replaced her dread with surprise.

"Shouldn't you be on the way home?"

"I'm afraid there's been a delay."

CHAPTER EIGHT

Rachel blinked in disbelief. "A delay?"

"Yes. I was hoping to finish today, but I couldn't quite wind things up. I booked a flight for tomorrow evening. I should get in about ten. Could you stay one more night?"

"Johathon, we had a deal. I've got things to do tomorrow."

Jonathon felt trapped. He hated causing her inconvenience. Yet, to run out now would put any chance of promotion as well as his job in serious jeopardy.

She heard him sigh. "I know. I'm sorry. This is an important client."

"What about my work? It's important too."

"Ricky goes to school at eight and you don't have to pick him up from day care until six. It's just one evening. I'll be home tomorrow. I promise."

She looked down at Ricky's upturned face. He was frowning. She knew from her tone, he guessed something was amiss. For his sake she wouldn't push the point, at least, not now.

"One night."

"That's all I need. Thanks. May I talk to Ricky?"

She handed Ricky the phone, hardly listening as he prattled on about their day. Her heart ached with disappointment. All of her plans for the evening had fallen in a heap. Resentment filled her heart. What was Jonathon thinking to use her so? She would have to be careful Ricky didn't see how she felt.

Yet, when Ricky hung up, she saw he was watching her. "Are you mad my dad isn't coming home tonight?"

His dark eyes were serious.

"I'm disappointed. I was looking forward to having him come home. You were, too, weren't you?"

He nodded.

"I tell you what. I'll pick you up tomorrow from day care and we'll get some pizza. Then you can come to the office until I finish work. You can pack some toys tonight to bring. Then after work, we'll come here and wait for your dad. Okay?"

"Okay." He still sounded uncertain.

"Want to help me finish cooking?"

"What are we having?"

"Meatloaf, potatoes, and green beans."

"Could we have pizza, instead?"

"Not tonight, pal. I already have the meatloaf cooking."

He helped mix the potatoes, but ate little supper. She suspected meatloaf was not his favorite meal. Finding her appetite dampened by the disappointment of Jonathon's absence, she cleared the table, wrapped the food and stored it in the refrigerator. At least Jonathon would have a home cooked meal waiting when he returned.

After Ricky bathed and brushed his teeth, she came to tuck him in. "I have a prayer tonight," he said.

She smiled. "Would you like me to listen?"

"Okay." He turned earnestly heavenward. "Please bless Miss Ashworth for taking care of me and please make Daddy come home. Forgive me for being bad and telling lies. Amen."

He looked at Rachel. "Grandma told me to tell lies about how I got hurt. Is God mad at me for lying?"

"No, Ricky. God isn't mad. He understands how scared you were." She kissed him lightly on the head. "You go to sleep, okay."

He snuggled into his covers while she plodded downstairs to make lesson plans. In the morning, she would drop him off at school, and then go by her place for a shower and fresh clothes. After her afternoon appointments, she would pick him up for a quick supper before the evening appointments began.

She dropped onto the couch and stared into space. Tomorrow promised to be a hectic day. She hoped there were no calls from Nina to disrupt the evening.

She was relieved when the night passed uneventfully and they began their morning routine with sunshine streaming through the cracks in the blinds.

After dropping Ricky at school, she became so involved in her day she forgot about the trio of Jonathon, Ricky and Nina until she picked Ricky up for supper.

After the promised pizza, he did his homework, and then played in the back room of the learning center until time to close. At last, they gathered his work and toys and headed home.

At bedtime, she read him a story and listened to his prayers. "If you're still awake, you can see your dad when he gets home."

She checked on him a half-hour later and found him sound asleep. Restless, she browsed through the upstairs library. The law books did not interest her. She settled on a Western, the only choice of fiction.

She settled downstairs to read, but found it hard to concentrate. She should to be at home. A stack of laundry needed ironing and another stack needed to be washed. She hadn't collected her mail since Friday and she had several bills that were coming due.

In frustration, she glanced at her watch. It was nine-o'clock. He should be home soon. A noise at the top of the stairs drew her attention. She was startled to see Ricky staring down like a sleepy-eyed ghost. "Grandma's calling me."

"What?" She started toward the child.

"I could hear Grandma. She's calling me."

"You must have been dreaming, honey. Your Grandma isn't here."

She put her arm around him to walk him back to his room.

"I wasn't dreaming. I woke up 'cause she was calling me. I saw her in the window."

A chill tingled up Rachel's spine. She paused at the doorway to his room. "Wait here."

She forced herself into the dark room, heart pounding as she neared the window. She peered out cautiously, half-expecting to see Nina's face. She found no one there. Had Ricky been dreaming? She moved closer, looking down to the ground, and caught her breath when she saw a ladder extended to the window.

She turned to Ricky who was waiting in the doorway. "Do you keep a ladder at your window?"

"Dad keeps one on the ground behind the bushes in case there's a fire and he needs to get to me."

She peered into the night. She was convinced now that Nina had been there. Perhaps she was still lurking in the night, waiting for another chance.

After checking the window lock, she turned to Ricky. "She's gone. You did the right thing to come and tell me. You go back to bed. I'm going to make a quick call and then I'll stay in your room until your Dad gets home."

She put in a call to the police. Their promise to send a car eased her taut nerves. If Nina were still skulking about, they would find her.

Jogging back upstairs she checked on Ricky. He had gone back to sleep. She did not see Nina at the window or in the yard below.

When the officers arrived, she told them what had happened. Afterwards, they reported no sign of Nina. "She must have left when the little boy came downstairs."

Rachel thanked them for coming and then padded upstairs to assure herself Ricky was safe. She paced his room, remembering the threatening phone call. What was Nina planning to do if Ricky had unlocked his window?

The front door opened and she heard Jonathon call out softly, "Hey, honey, I'm home."

She rushed to the stairs. Without acknowledging his greeting, she said, "Do you realize the police were here a little while ago?"

His smile faded. "Why?"

"Nina used a ladder to climb to Ricky's window. She called to him to open it. When he came to get me, she left."

"And you called the police?"

She clenched her jaw as fear and anger mingled with fatigue. "Of course I called the police. She's dangerous. She called the first night you were gone, too. She thought I was here with you and threatened to get even with us. You need to take this seriously. She's a very disturbed woman."

He rubbed his chin as he set down his briefcase. His expression of eager greeting had changed to weariness. "I think you're making too much of this. She probably just wanted to see Ricky. I'll put the ladder in the garage so she can't do it again.

"You weren't here. You were too busy being gone to hear the way she sounded on the phone."

"Is that really it? Are you angry I was gone an extra day? I told you I was sorry. I couldn't help it."

He rubbed his forehead. He was tired, much too tired to deal with hysterics.

"You could help it. You could tell them there's been a change in your personal situation and you need a position where you don't travel all the time. But you won't do that. You'd rather use me so you can still be Mr. Important. Well, you're not going to do it again."

Between Terri's plans to leave and Jonathon using her as a babysitter, she might not have a job at all soon. Who would care? Neither of them.

"Did it hurt you so much, Rachel? Did it ruin your business to keep Ricky one extra afternoon? I don't think so. It just didn't fit neatly into your plans. You haven't changed. Your schedule is still more important to you than anything else."

"How dare you accuse me of that? You're the one who doesn't have time for him. Everything that has happened to him is your fault. If you'd been around him more, you would have known what was happening. You don't have time for anyone but yourself **.** Don't expect me to bail you out again."

His jaw clenched, tightening the lines along his cheekbones. He reminded himself of all the years he had worked to become someone she could admire. Now it seemed he could do nothing to please her. In anger he lashed out, "I wasn't trying to use you. Plans were made that I couldn't change. I thought you wouldn't mind helping me out. I'm sorry if you did. "

"Are you really? You weren't sorry enough to come back on time. You treated me like hired help when you told me I'd need to keep Ricky another day. You didn't care how that affected my job because you think your job is much more important."

She used her words as a dagger, enjoying the momentary shock in his eyes. Her angry thoughts were whirled like a cyclone. Somewhere deep in her mind, she knew she was spinning out of control. She didn't care. It served him right. He deserved to pay for all the pain he had caused- from the time he had abandoned her so long ago, to the hurtful words he had just spoken. He deserved to hurt, just as he had hurt her.

She grabbed her purse from the coffee table. "I'm leaving."

He scowled, feeling totally betrayed. "Don't worry. I won't ask any more favors of you." His tone added ice to the frost between them. Without a backward glance, she let herself out and jogged to her car.

He was an ungrateful boor, thinking he could treat her any way he chose. He'd find out differently. She'd gotten along without him for the last ten years. She could do it again.

She could, but she soon found it wouldn't be easy. Despite her determination not to suffer twice over this man, she could not hold back the tears when she reached her apartment. They flowed freely as she stood in the shower. Though her body was soon clean, she could not so easily wash away the pain in her heart.

As the dark hours of night crept by, she slept restlessly, relieved to finally rise at dawn to complete some neglected chores. Later, as she put fresh sheets on the bed, she jumped at the sound of the phone. It was surely Jonathon. Perhaps his night had been as miserable as her own. If he were to apologize for what he had said, and promise things would be different, what would she say?

Her heart sank. It was Terri. "What time are you coming in? I want to talk to you before we get busy."

"I planned to be there about ten. Is something wrong?"

"No. Yes. Well...it's hard to say. I just need to talk to you. Have you had breakfast?"

"No."

"How about if I come by in a half-hour with some bagels and cream cheese?"

"Okay. But can't you tell me a little of what this is about?"

"I think it would be better if we wait until I get there."

Reluctantly agreeing, she hung up and waited for Terri to appear with a bag of bagels and pack of cream cheese. Rachel supplied coffee and they sat down to talk.

"Remember how I told you it might be too far for me to keep driving to work once Eric and I were married?"

Rachel nodded.

"Well, it looks like it will be a little farther than I thought. I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure. Yet Eric's been looking for a new job. He applied for a position at an aerospace company in Seattle and got it. He'll make twenty-five percent more than he's making here. Can you believe it?" Her eyes were shining.

Rachel tried to comprehend what this would mean. The marriage was in early June, only two months away. "Are you moving before the wedding?"

"No. He has three weeks of vacation he wants to take before he starts the new job. So, he's taking two before the wedding and one after. We're going to fly out next weekend and look for an apartment. We're getting rid of most of our stuff and having the rest shipped. We're going straight to Seattle after the honeymoon."

Rachel stared at the bagel, her appetite gone. She was torn between a sincere desire for Terri's happiness and her knowledge that dissolving the partnership would draw out too much cash to stay afloat. With no personal fortune to fall back on, she would be forced to close the center.

They were silent a moment until Terri said, "I know we're partners and I really treasure your friendship, but I can't stand the thought of holding Eric back by asking him to stay here. What can I do?" Her eyes pled for understanding.

Rachel smiled. "You go. I have to admit I'm concerned about being able to buy your share without liquidating. We're barely making ends meet as it is."

The knot that had formed in her stomach grew. All the years she'd been teaching, she had dreamed of opening this center. She and Terri had saved money from their modest salaries until they could make it a reality. They had begun together, renting the office, buying resources, and building clients. How bitter it would be to give it all up.

As though reading her thoughts, Terri hurried to explain, "I don't want my marriage to force you to close the center. I know how much it means to you. I won't need the money right away. We'll have his salary and I'll probably start teaching again. You can pay me back when you find another partner."

"That may be awhile."

"That's okay. I can wait. Now eat that bagel you've been holding. Everything will work out. You'll see."

Rachel tried to force herself into a cheerful mood as they discussed Terri's wedding plans. Terri, carried on a tide of euphoria, did most of the talking.

When Terri headed to the center, Rachel sat alone in her quiet apartment wondering what she would do. She couldn't ruin Terri's joy by sharing the reality of the situation. Unless she found another teacher to replace Terri soon, the client load would be cut in half. With only half the income coming in, she couldn't hope to make ends meet.

Despondent, she set the mugs to soak and finished her chores. On the way to the learning center, she reminded herself to take one day at a time. "Give us this day our daily bread," she quoted. She had bread for today. She would have to trust for tomorrow. She forced herself to be cheerful as she tutored her young students.

By Wednesday, she was in a gloomy mood and her nerves were raw. Would Jonathon bother to bring his son to be tutored? She had her answer when four o'clock arrived with no sign of Ricky. Fuming that Jonathon had not even called to cancel, she decided to do something with the vacant time.

She phoned Paula Jeffries at the school. "Ricky missed his session. Was he at school today?"

"Yes, he was. Is everything okay? I've noticed he's been going to day care and we've been told not to release him to his grandmother."

She brought Paula up to date on the horrors of the last few days. Now that they knew each other, she found she could talk to her quite easily.

"That poor child," Paula exclaimed. "It's such a shame what some children go through."

"Is he doing okay getting along with the other kids?"

"He's doing fine, now. He had a lot of trouble at first, being new and having such a problem with his behavior. You've done wonders for him, you know. If you hadn't caught his attention deficit, he would have had a tough time this year."

"You would have caught it in time."

"I don't know. I never believed much in attention deficits until you showed me how much Ricky could be helped. I've been talking to our principal about having a presentation about the disorder at our district in-service two weeks from today. Would you be willing to do it? You would have about an hour in the morning. There is a small honorarium, forty dollars, I believe."

She considered the opportunity. The thought of standing in front of a room full of teachers filled her with anxiety. Yet, who would do it if she did not? Someone had to make sure children like Ricky didn't fall through the cracks. Taking a deep breath, she heard herself agree.

"I'd be glad to."

"Great. We'll schedule you in. I'll get back to you with the details."

They hung up and she tried to organize for her next appointment. Yet her mind was on the in-service. Two weeks wasn't long to prepare. She would have to gather facts and anonymous case histories. She could begin in the morning.

The next few days, she tried to concentrate on matters at work. As the weekend drew near, she found it impossible to ignore the pain of Jonathon's absence. Worst of all was the knowledge that it had happened because she had objected to being used for his purpose. Was that what this was all about? Was that all she had meant?

She prepared the Palm Sunday lesson with a heavy heart.

On the way to church, she prayed for a lifting of the burdens that oppressed her. Where would her answer come to find another partner for the learning center? And how would she heal the hole in her heart left by Jonathon's absence?

She parked in the lot and ambled into the building, smiling as she exchanged greetings with familiar faces. The contradiction between her outward cheerfulness and inward misery made her feel like a hypocrite.

As they sang the opening hymn, Jonathon slipped into the room. She swallowed hard as their eyes met. His cool regard caused her hands to shake as she took the podium. Trying to ignore his presence, she concentrated on the wrinkled faces on the front row.

When class ended, she collected her notes and prepared to leave. Before she could hurry out the door, he stepped into her path. "I hope you don't mind that I came today. I wanted to hear the rest of the lesson."

She looked up. "Of course I don't mind. I'm glad you're getting so much out of it."

He forced a smile but there was disappointment in his eyes. "I better get Ricky. It was good to see you."

She nodded. "Tell him "hi". I missed him last Wednesday."

"I'm sorry. Without Nina, I don't have any way to get him to the center." Jonathon's heart felt heavy, caught between work demands and Rachel's expectations.

She closed her lips tightly, biting back the words she wanted to say. Nonetheless, they raced into her mind, causing her to face to flush with irritation. Was it too much for him to take off early one afternoon to bring Ricky? Was it asking too much to call if he were not going to come?

She looked him squarely in the eye. "It's okay. He's doing much better. He probably doesn't need me anymore. I'll fill his spot with someone else."

She brushed past, hearing him murmur, "I'm sure you will."

She took refuge in the restroom to collect her composure. Taking her time, she smoothed her hair and straightened her skirt. She emerged, at last, and sat on the opposite side of the sanctuary, pretending not to see Ricky's puzzled glances. She would leave it to Jonathon to explain why they no longer sat together.

On Monday, she was working on notes for the in-service when Terri popped in. "How's it going?"

"Fine. At least I have an idea now of what I want to say." She hadn't bothered to tell Terri about her problems with Jonathon, and Terri was too full of pre-wedding excitement to notice anything amiss.

Terri sank into a small chair beside her. "You think we could reschedule our appointments for Friday night? Some of Eric's friends from work are giving us a good-by party. No gifts. We don't want anything else to pack. Just memories. Since we're having such a small, family wedding, we want to be with our friends one last time. I'd really like you to come."

She bit her lip, fighting back her initial response. Terri could party all she liked. She would be leaving town soon and leaving the burden of keeping the business financially afloat. Rescheduling appointments was always a chore and some clients would skip a week rather than pick a new time. The center would lose money, money they needed badly.

Yet she knew the price of venting her frustrations would be high. To express her annoyance would not change events. It would only poison their friendship.

"I'll see what I can do about rescheduling."

She handed Rachel a map. "Good. Here are the directions to the house where they're having the party."

"Thanks. It won't be easy to tell you bye."

Terri's eyes welled with tears. "It won't be easy to go. We've had some good times here. I'll miss helping you build up this center. But I know you'll keep it going. You're smart and persistent and you'll make it a success."

Terri left to tackle her own avalanche of work and Rachel was glad for the impulse which had sealed her lips. Harsh words would not have changed the future. They would only have hurt a good friend.

On Friday, Terri went home early to dress for the party, leaving Rachel to close up the center. Terri had been in high spirits all day. Rachel wished it had been catching. She struggled against a deep loneliness which seemed to surround her. She felt adrift, abandoned by the people to whom she was close. She reminded herself she was not to put her trust in human relationships, but rather in God. That gave her comfort as she locked the door.

She pulled from the parking spot only to have her old car give a spasmodic lunge and die. It had been running rough for several days while she ignored it, hoping it was nothing serious. She tried to start it and found that ignoring the problem was not going to get her home tonight.

She called a towing service to take her car to a local garage. The mechanic had gone home and wouldn't be able to get to the car until Saturday afternoon. Taking pity on her situation, one of the station attendants gave her a ride to her apartment.

She hurried inside and took stock of her predicament. Terri would have left for the party by now. She would worry if Rachel didn't show up. There was only one thing to do. She called a cab for a ride to the stately brick home.

Cars were parked along the street and up the circular drive. The party was in full swing. Her head was pounding and she was in no mood to make small talk with strangers. She was greeted by the host and swept toward a table laden with refreshments. There, her eyes met a familiar face.

A hot flush crept across her cheeks at the unexpected meeting. She perused the table, trying to ignore Jonathon, poised at the other end. He was dressed in casual clothes, shirt open at the throat. When he circled around beside her, she asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Terri referred my company to Eric's, remember? I've gotten to know quite a few of the guys, including Eric."

He studied her. "You look frazzled. Let's sit over here." He nodded to a free spot on a couch.

When they were seated, he asked, "You doing okay?"

She nodded. "How's Ricky?"

"Fine. He misses you."

"Who's with him tonight?"

"My secretary's sister. She's a college student. She can use extra money. Her classes work out so she can sit evenings and weekends when I'm out of town."

"Sounds perfect."

He gave her a quick look, wondering if she really thought anything was perfect without her. "It's not perfect, but it works."

She nibbled a sandwich and wished the evening were over. It was hard to make small talk with a man whom she'd given her heart, especially when they were reduced to casual acquaintances at a party.

His voice grew low. "I've wanted to call you all week. I didn't know if you wanted me to call."

She met his eyes. They were searching. She longed to tell him how much she had wanted that call, how her heart had leapt every time the phone rang.

"I would have talked to you, if that's what you mean."

His lips parted in a slight smile. "That's a start anyway."

Before she could reply, Terri waltzed up with Eric on her arm. "Now here's a handsome couple." She nodded in their direction, smiling brightly. "I've been looking for you. Where have you been?"

Rachel grimaced. "Car trouble. I guess I've been ignoring the rattles too long. I had to get it towed to the shop."

Terri's eyebrows rose. "I wish I'd known before I left. How did you get here?"

"I called a cab."

"Do you have a ride back?" Terri's eyes roved between Jonathon and Rachel.

"I can drop you off," Jonathon said. "When will your car be done?"

"I don't know. The mechanic can't start on it until Saturday."

"I'll give you a ride to work tomorrow," Terri offered.

"Thanks. It looks like I'm all taken care of."

Her smile felt strained.

Eric and Terri settled on the floor beside the couch and talked about their plans. They were excited about the move to Seattle. Eric was relieved it was official and he could talk about it freely in front of his colleagues. As well-wishers joined the group, the conversation grew lively.

It was nearly eleven o'clock when the party began to break up. Feeling the fatigue of the day, Rachel said, "I'm going to have to head home."

As Jonathon rose, she said, "I really can call a cab."

"I don't want you to call a cab." He grasped her elbow lightly as they departed.

Neither spoke as they walked into the humid night. When they were seated in the car, Jonathon hesitated a moment before he turned the key. "I came tonight because I was sure you would be here. I wanted to see you again, to talk to you. I didn't think you would ignore me in front of a crowd."

She straightened her skirt. "It seems you were right."

"I've been thinking about our fight. I was tired that night and I know you were, too. I never should have asked you to keep Ricky. I just didn't know who else to turn to. I've got it worked out so I won't have to ask you again. Could we forget that night and start over? I've really missed you."

She looked into his eyes and read the longing that dwelt in his heart. It was comforting to realize he had been as miserable as she had been.

Feeling the dam of misery break, she stammered, "It's not that I minded helping you, it's just that I can't work and watch Ricky. On top of all that, I was scared when Nina called, and then, she showed up..." she hesitated and admitted the truth. "I want you to love me for me, not just need me to take care of Ricky."

"I have someone to take care of Ricky. Yet, here I am at a party just so I can talk to you." His voice was soft, reassuring like balm on an open wound.

Feeling joy flow into her veins, she said, "I'd like to start over. I've missed you and I've missed Ricky."

"Then let's do it. Can we pick you up for church on Sunday?"

"I'd appreciate that. I probably won't have my car. I didn't need it to break down right now."

He drove to the apartment and shut off the engine. "Terri said you might be in financial trouble unless you find a new partner. I'd like to be that partner."

She smiled, touched by his desire to help her. "I don't think you have much qualification as a teacher."

"I wasn't planning on teaching. I'll lend you the money for month to month expenses until you find a partner. You can pay me back from the profits when business picks up. In the meantime, I could use a tax write off."

"I appreciate it, but I can't let you do that. Terri and I built this business. We built it from our savings and our own hard work. We don't owe anybody anything and I want to keep it that way."

He struggled against the thought that she might disdain the money he offered from a job of which she so often disapproved. It was hard earned money and her dismissal stung him.

She saw a flicker of hurt in his dark eyes as he said, "It's good to be independent. Yet it appears you've built a wall around yourself. You won't let anyone get close enough to help you. And that's all I want to do. I want to make sure you don't lose your business. I know how important it is to you."

She felt stung by the criticism. "Then you'll have to understand there are some things I have to do by myself. I can't let you come in and solve my business problems."

He nodded. "Just think about it some more. We could draw it up legally. It could sound as impersonal as you like."

She bit her lip. She could think of no better way to explain her feelings to him. She did not want to be beholding to Jonathon Parker. If they were going to have a chance for a relationship, it would be as equals, not with her feeling she owed him something.

"I better go in," she said softly. "Thanks for the ride."

She retreated into her apartment, leaving his offer behind. She wouldn't think about it, couldn't think about it. Leaning on him was too dangerous. If she allowed herself to become indebted, she would feel obligated to accept without complaint whatever he chose to dish out. And that was something she wouldn't do.

CHAPTER NINE

On Saturday morning, Rachel hurried out to Terri's waiting car for a ride to work.

Terri put the ancient Toyota into reverse and backed from the parking space. "Did you have a good time last night?"

Rachel nodded. "Except for the part about my car."

Terri gave her a sympathetic look. "I hope it doesn't cost too much to fix."

"Me, too."

After a short silence, Terri asked, "How's it going with Jonathon?"

"A little confused. Some of the problems he's having with his mother-in-law have spilled over to us."

"I hope you can sort it out. He seems like a nice guy. He must have changed a lot over the last ten years. You seem suited for each other. I know Eric thinks highly of him."

Rachel nodded. "He has changed. Only now, he's so serious about his work, he puts it before everything else, even Ricky."

"He's got to make a living."

"I know." She stared ahead, not wanting to pursue the subject. How could she make Terri understand that life with Jonathon would have to offer more than money and position as a lawyer's wife? She wanted more.

Terri gasped as they parked at the learning center. A jagged hole scarred the glass of the large front window. They unlocked the door and hurried inside to investigate, finding a large rock lying on the floor.

"Kids! They never think how much trouble they cause when they do something like this. I wish I had them standing here right now," Terri spouted.

Rachel stared at the rock. She could not shake the feeling that every time something bad happened, it was Nina's doing. It put her on edge, wondering what would happen next. Yet she had no proof and nothing to gain by voicing her suspicion. So, she helped Terri clean up the glass. She hoped anxiety about Nina would not haunt her for as long as she had anything to do with Jonathon.

The mechanic called while Terri was at the discount store buying a sheet of plastic for the window. The good news was the car would be ready that afternoon. Rachel took a deep breath, hoping for the best as she asked for the repair cost.

Three hundred dollars was an unwelcome addition to what it was going to cost to repair the front window. Yet, she had no choice.

She sighed, agreeing to pick up the car that afternoon. They had few tutoring appointments that day, as most of their clients were on holiday the week before Easter Sunday.

Thinking of Easter made her remember that Jonathon would not need to give her a ride to church in the morning. She dialed his number, still reeling from the onslaught of monetary worries. She was surprised to hear a young woman answer the phone.

"Mr. Parker's not here right now. I could give you his office number or tell him to call you when he gets back."

"That's okay. I'll call tonight."

"Okay." The cheerful voice disconnected, leaving Rachel feeling uncomfortable.

She called again in the evening, wondering if the young woman would answer. She was relieved to hear Jonathon's voice.

She explained, "I wanted to let you know my car is fixed. I won't need a ride to church tomorrow."

Jonathon replied without hesitation. "I'd still like to pick you up. In fact, Ricky and I planned to ask you to spend the afternoon with us if you don't have family plans. I thought I might talk you into helping with Ricky's egg hunt."

"I'd love to. My folks retired in San Antonio to be near my sister and her kids. I went up for Christmas but I didn't plan to go for Easter. I'd have to make the drive there and back in one day."

"Great. Then spend it with us. I'll pick you up for church at nine."

She hung up feeling better. Jonathon wanted to spend the day with her. It would be just the three of them. No Nina, no young woman on the phone. Perhaps, everything would be all right.

Easter Sunday arrived, warm and sunny. Ricky looked cute in his dark Easter suit. He sat beside them at church and fiddled with the bulletin, folding it and unfolding it until the end of the service. On the way home, he could hardly sit still. "Are we going to hunt Easter eggs?"

Rachel smiled. "Possibly. However, I don't think the bunny has come yet."

Jonathon studied Ricky. "Easter is more than hunting eggs, Ricky. Much more."

He caught Rachel's eye. "I've have been reading my Bible lately."

He longed to tell her how the words were changing his heart and life, but the unfolding was still too new and precious.

She smiled and asked Ricky, "Did you understand what the pastor was talking about this morning?"

Ricky nodded. "I understood. It's about Jesus and what he did for me. We're going to 'splain it to all the grown-ups this afternoon."

Rachel cocked her head. "This afternoon?"

Jonathon laughed. "It was supposed to be a surprise. The kids in Ricky's Sunday school class are re-enacting the Easter story. Ricky is playing one of the disciples."

Rachel felt her heart warm. "That's wonderful. I can't wait to see it."

When they got home, Jonathon nudged Ricky upstairs. "Go up and change clothes. I'll call you down when there's something to find."

"Hurry, okay?" Ricky called.

Rachel grinned at Jonathon. "I think he's on to you."

"I think you're right."

They hid the wrapped candy on the patio and called Ricky down. He skipped downstairs, holding a straw basket that looked as though it had weathered several egg hunts.

"Where's the camera?" Rachel asked.

"Camera?" Jonathon repeated.

"Yes. Aren't you going to take his picture? He won't always be a small boy hunting Easter eggs, you know."

"Right. The camera's in my desk drawer. I'll get it."

Ricky sighed impatiently. "Why does Dad have to take my picture?"

Rachel knelt down and straightened his shirt. "It's because you're so handsome."

He screwed up his nose, making a silly face.

She laughed. "You used to be handsome."

After Ricky finished, Jonathon suggested a light lunch of scrambled eggs and toast.

Rachel helped cook and Ricky ate just enough to satisfy the minimal requirement before delving into the candy.

Jonathon turned to Rachel. "You deserve a reward for being a co-Easter rabbit. Now, if Ricky will get ready, we'll see a wonderful matinee. I think you'll enjoy it."

She did enjoy it. She sat entranced as the children portrayed the events of the resurrection and joy of the first Easter Sunday. When they left, Ricky's observations about what he had learned warmed her heart like the warm spring sunshine that bathed them on their walk to the car. Deciding it was too pretty a day to spend inside, they drove to a park and sat on a blanket while Ricky played on the playground.

Leaning against Jonathon's sturdy shoulder, she felt at peace. No matter what happened to her business or what might become of this relationship, she intended to enjoy this beautiful afternoon. As though sensing her mood, he put his arm around her and hugged her close, brushing a strand of hair gently from her cheek.

"I want us always to be together. You and me and Ricky." He turned her face to his and looked into her eyes. "I want to marry you."

The urgency of his voice took her by surprise. Catching her breath, she stared into a gaze of dark, imploring pools beseeching her to take the plunge. Sorely tempted, she tried to think what this action would mean to her future.

"I love you, Rachel. I always have. Do you still love me?"

Her pulse quickened at his words. She had never been good at hiding her feelings and she was sure he could read the answer on her face."Yes. I love you. I've always loved you."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get married. Next week, next month, over the summer...whatever you say. But let's get married."

She caught her lip. "I don't know. There are still some things we haven't worked out."

"Like what? You said you loved me."

"I do. Yet, there's still the issue of faith in God. It's important to me that both of us share this in a marriage."

Jonathon took a deep breath. "Last week I asked Jesus into my heart. I thought my wicked past might keep Him from hearing me. But I've been reading the Bible since I started going to church with you. I kept repeating the promise from Acts 2:21 that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. I feel a peace I've never known. I have a long way to go, but I'm learning and growing."

Rachel's eyes filled with happy tears. "I've prayed so hard for you to accept the Lord, Jonathon. You'll never regret it."

Jonathon smiled shyly. "So, will you marry me?"

Rachel considered carefully. The idea of being unequally yoked had weighed heavily on her heart. Though she was delighted to hear his confession, there were still problems to be faced.

"You travel so much. You'd be gone and I'd be left alone to take care of Ricky with Nina to worry about."

The irony of this scene twisted in her heart like a dagger. She had loved him in high school, longed to have him propose to her then. Now, years later, when he finally did, she was the one with misgivings.

He let his hand drop from her face. "Everything can't be as neatly outlined as your lesson plans. You can't program my job to fit perfectly into your schedule. Nothing is ever going to be that flawless. I thought you'd be happy I'd made something of myself. I thought you'd be proud to be my wife. The only way I could be less busy is to be less successful."

She took her time, thinking before she spoke. "I am proud of you. I'm proud of the way you've turned your life around. But remember, I've got a business, too. Before I can take on the role of wife and mother, I've got to find a new partner."

His voice held impatience. "I offered to take care of that."

She bit her lip. "I know. And that was generous. But I have to do it myself."

He sighed. "Have it your way. When things are good enough, just right, and perfect, let me know and we'll get married. Just don't take too long."

He rose and called to Ricky, leaving her to ponder his words. Were they a threat? Was he giving her a deadline?

And if she didn't meet it? Then what?

They walked back to the car with Ricky skipping behind them. A quick look at Jonathon revealed nothing in his expression, only an inscrutable silent mask. Bolstering her resolve, she ignored his displeasure. Under no conditions would she be manipulated into marriage. They had waited ten years. They could wait however long it took until the time was right.

Ricky's childish chatter helped her disregard the brooding countenance of the handsome man who had won her heart. Nonetheless, she knew his mood had cast a pall that the bright sunshine couldn't penetrate.

She declined his invitation to stay for a snack supper.

He didn't speak to her again until they reached her apartment. Turning, he said, "I've been thinking. I know I pressured you and I'm sorry. It's just that my life's been a mess for so long, I'm ready for things to settle down."

She ran her hand along his cheek to touch the dark hair that was neatly trimmed above his ear. "The answer is yes. I want to marry you...when the time is right."

He smiled. "I'll be out of town for the next ten days. I'll call you when I get back."

She flinched at the length of his absence, and then decided not to object. She said simply, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too." He kissed her lightly. From the backseat, Ricky announced his hunger. She turned to him with a grin. "Your dad is going to feed you. Don't forget to teach him some of those games we played on the computer."

Jonathon groaned.

Rachel waved genially as he drove away.

Alone in her apartment, she tried to sort the confused emotions that battled in her mind. She definitely wanted to marry Jonathon. Yet, only on terms she could accept.

She faced the next morning feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety. Today was the day Paula Jeffries had asked her to present the in-service on Attention Deficit Disorder.

She had her notes in order, her speech fully memorized. Her experience with Paula Jeffries convinced her there were teachers who needed information about this disorder and what to do if they spotted a problem. Yet, she worried about doing justice to her topic.

She clutched the steering wheel as she parked in the visitor's lot. She had fifteen minutes before her talk. Taking a deep breath, she gathered her papers.

She swallowed hard, fortifying herself with the conviction that she was doing this for Ricky, as well as for other children who were struggling to cope unaided and misunderstood. These were children who needed to be reached before their self-esteem suffered.

She entered the auditorium by a side door as the previous speaker answered questions. She returned Paula's welcoming smile as she took a seat beside her. Paula leaned over. "I'll introduce you as soon as she's done. You'll be great." She patted Rachel's arm.

As Rachel struggled to calm her rapid heartbeat, Paula rose to the stage to introduce her and state her credentials. After that, there was nothing to do but come forward. She stood alone in front of a hundred teachers, cleared her throat, and began.

The audience was attentive and, feeling passionately about her topic, she soon warmed to the crowd. The time flew, and before she knew it, she had finished.

Hands rose when she asked for questions. When she finally sat down, Paula's encouraging smile reinforced what she already knew. It had gone well. "The teachers have an hour and a half break for lunch. I'd like to treat you to a hamburger," Paula offered.

"I'd like that. But you don't have to treat."

"I insist. Come along before the crowd gets there."

They rode in Paula's sedan; spotlessly clean except for the backseat which was piled with student papers. "I never get caught up on grading," she lamented. "Guess I'm getting old. This is my last year and I have mixed feelings about retiring. The long days on my feet are getting hard, but I'll really miss the children."

"You're retiring this year?"

"I'll be sixty-five next month. I've put in thirty years with this district. I can hardly believe it."

"It will be their loss. I've been impressed by how much concern you've shown for Ricky this year."

"I was intrigued by this child's potential once he got the extra help he needed. I couldn't believe what a difference it made. He's surpassed what I thought he was capable of doing. I'm just sorry that, with such a large class, I'm not able to spend more time with each student."

As they parked and headed into the fast food restaurant, Rachel was struck by a sudden insight. Perhaps the answer she had been seeking was right before her. As they waited for their order, she weighed facts. Paula was retiring this year and would miss her contact with the students. Terri was moving, leaving Rachel in need of a new business partner.

Inspired by the idea, she broached it as they sat down to eat. "You seem challenged by children with special learning needs. I've seen your interest in Ricky." She bit her lip and grouped her thoughts as Paula watched her in polite interest.

Continuing, she said, "My partner is moving and I've been looking for someone who could replace her. Now I've found out you are retiring, I think you would be perfect if you're interested."

Paula raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "I'm interested in hearing more. What kind of financial commitment would it take?"

"Not much really. We have the business built up, but since I can't tutor twice as many kids, I need someone to take Terri's spot so I can cover the rent and utilities. She put in about three thousand as a start up cost, but we could spread that over time if you want to buy in. If not, I'll pay her off and become the sole owner. Either way, I need another tutor."

"I'll definitely accept your offer to tutor. As far as buying in, I'll need to think about it. I have a small nest egg, but I won't get rich on teacher retirement."

"Can you start next month?"

"Sure can."

"You're the answer to a prayer."

"Actually, you are. I've been feeling a little depressed about not having anything to do when I retire. My husband passed away three years ago and I'm all alone."

"It seems we both got what we needed."

Rachel left the restaurant with a sense of relief. It would be tight for awhile, but with Paula taking Terri's clients, she could stay in business. She drove to the office with a lighter heart.

A short while later, Terri came back from lunch in high spirits from having spent her break with Eric. Her eyes lit with relief when Rachel told her the news about Paula. "I'm so glad. I've been feeling guilty about leaving you in the lurch."

"I feel really good about this. Since Paula's retiring, she'll have more time and energy to devote to the job than someone who planned to tutor part-time while they kept teaching."

Terri nodded. "Remember there's no hurry about buying my investment. I'm going to try and teach next year and with Eric's new job, we should be able to get along okay."

"Thanks."

With the problem of her business off her mind, she found her thoughts increasingly drawn to Jonathon. His conversion took a great weight off her heart. Yet, what if they were to marry? How would she care for Ricky? Maybe the girl who looked after him now could continue to watch him during the evenings when Jonathon was out of town and she was at work. She pondered the situation, always coming back to the same conclusion. To marry Jonathon now would free him from any feelings of responsibility he had for Ricky. She would become a single mom when he was out of town, and that would only cause tension in their marriage.

More than a week later, she was still stewing over the problem and wondering what she would tell him. He had been due back in town the previous night and would be sure to call soon.

Early in the afternoon, while she was teaching a skills lesson, the phone rang. She answered distractedly. The voice on the other end made the hair on her neck prickle.

"I thought you might like to know what your boyfriend is up to." Nina's voice sounded slurred. "That cute little babysitter didn't go home last night after Jonathon came in. I know. I was watching. I sat there until three o'clock in the morning. That's how much he loves you, sweetie."

Rachel felt as though her heart had stopped beating. She dropped back into her chair. "I don't believe you."

"Well, I hate to break the bad news but it's true. Out with the old and in with the new. Just like it was with Eva. How does it feel to be on the receiving end?"

Rachel sucked in her breath. It wasn't true. It couldn't be. "You shouldn't have been there. It's not right to hide and watch the house. You're imagining things and you need help."

Nina gave a snort. "I didn't imagine anything. You've been replaced, just like Eva, and just like I was with Ricky. He needs me, you know. It's your fault he doesn't have me." The sentence ended in a sob, cut short as she hung up the phone, leaving Rachel clutching her end in frozen disbelief.

Her hand shook as she replaced the receiver. She tried to collect her thoughts. A horrible idea wedged itself in her mind. Was this what Jonathon had been threatening when he had warned her not to wait too long to make up her mind about getting married? Was he already attracted to this young woman?

She could pick up the phone and call him at work and demand an explanation. Yet, she fought the urge. Her office was hardly private. She could hear Terri shuffling papers in the next cubicle. Gritting her teeth, she determined to make it through the afternoon. She wouldn't think about it until tonight. Then, she would demand an answer.

All afternoon she wavered between believing Nina had made up the story and fearing it was true. Tortured by doubts, she spent the next few hours vainly attempting to concentrate on her students.

The tacos Terri bought for dinner tasted like cardboard. Rachel managed to choke down a few bites before making an excuse to retreat to her cubby where time moved interminably until, at last, it was eight o'clock. Leaving the game she had used with her last student scattered on the desk, she stuck her head in Terri's work space, "Would you mind locking up? I've got a splitting headache."

The glance was sympathetic. "I thought you looked a little pale when we were eating. I'd be happy to lock up. I hope you're not coming down with something."

Rachel forced her tight lips into a smile. "I'm just tired. I'll be at Jazzercise tomorrow, so don't think you can miss."

Terri chuckled. "Yes, Mother. Now go rest that headache."

In truth, a savage throbbing pounded in her temples. She squinted as she drove home, protecting her eyes from the brightness of the street lights. Would she be as able to protect her heart from the truth if Jonathon should tell her he had found another love?

She strode stoically toward her door and composed her thoughts. She would be calm. She wouldn't play the part of the jilted hysterical woman, no matter what he said.

The phone rang four times before he answered. He sounded harried. "Hello."

"It's me. Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"I was wrestling Ricky into bed, literally. Once I got him settled, I was going to call you." His voice receded as he said, "Ricky, go back upstairs."

Then he was back on, huffing as though he were lifting the child. "Let me get this little monkey in bed and I'll call you back. Okay?"

She hung up, feeling suspended as she waited anxiously for his call. Pain hammered at her temples, inspiring her to head for the kitchen and take an aspirin. She swallowed it quickly and began to pace, practicing the words she wanted to say.

Five minutes later, the phone rang. His voice, more relaxed now, inquired, "Did you miss me? I missed you. Ten days out of town seems longer than it used to. All I can ever think about when I'm gone is you."

She took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "There's something I need to ask you. Nina called today and told me the babysitter stayed all night. She thinks there's something going on between you."

"What?" The exclamation was terse. "Why would she think that?"

"She said the girl never left after you came home last night. Apparently, Nina was watching the house."

"She should mind her own business. If I catch her out there, I'm going to call the police. I can't believe I ever left Ricky in her care."

Ignoring his anger, she persisted. "Is what she told me true?"

"If you have to ask me that, I don't think our relationship is what I hoped."

He continued grimly. "I got in after midnight. Andi was asleep upstairs and I didn't see any reason to wake her. We got up this morning, got Ricky off to school, and went our separate ways."

The image of Jonathon spending his early hours with this girl touched a raw nerve. Hadn't he said, "they" got Ricky off to school. It sounded like a little family.

"You don't see anything wrong with spending the night in the same house with Andi?"

"What was I supposed to do, wake her at midnight and chase her off?"

"You could have spent the night at a motel."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not going to a motel when I could spend the night in my own house. Besides they'd wonder why I hadn't come home."

"Are you attracted to her at all?"

"No. It hurts that you trust me so little that you would let Nina prompt you to make this stupid accusation. You're everything that is decent, sane, and whole in my life right now. If you don't believe me, I don't know what I can do to convince you."

"It would help if you gave some thought to how I feel. You told me not to take too long making up my mind about getting married. Then you slept in the same house as Ricky's sitter. Does a live-in nanny suit you as well as a wife? Is it what you really want? We would get married so I would be available when you need me?"

In the depth of her heart, she knew her words were rash. Yet, Nina's call had upset her deeply.

Cut by her words, Jonathon replied slowly, "I'd never expect you to drop everything to care for Ricky. I assumed we would keep Andi for evenings and week-ends. Yet, with this ridiculous jealousy you're displaying, I see that wouldn't suit you. What do you want, Rachel? I don't see any way to please you."

"Don't blame me. You know where I am all the time, and when I go home, I don't have a man sleeping in my apartment. For all I know you have a girlfriend in every city."

His sigh was long and defeated. "You want proof I've changed. I can't give you any. Either you believe me or you don't. Which is it?"

Her hesitation spoke more than she could say. In a voice that was terrible in its control, he said, "I think I know the answer. Good-night, Rachel."

Shocked by the finality of his dismissal, she set down the phone and stood in the kitchen, feeling hot tears burn in her eyes. This was not how she wanted it to be. Stormy as it had been, their romance had held promise. Was it now to end in this fizzle of doubt?

Dropping miserably onto the couch, she buried her face in her arms and cried until no more tears would come. Then, feeling dull and heavy-hearted, she plodded off to shower. When she got to bed, she escaped her pain in the anesthesia of sleep. Early in the morning, her dreams were punctured by restless spells of waking. Checking the clock several times, she was relieved when it was time to arise.

Terri was in high spirits when they met at Jazzercise. She puffed, breathing hard, as they completed a warm-up. "I can't believe it! Only two weeks until the wedding."

"Do you have everything arranged?"

"Since it's a small wedding, there's not much to do. My parents are flying in next week. I still need to choose between two wedding gowns. Would you run by the bridal shop with me when we get done and give me your opinion?"

Rachel wasn't in the mood to judge wedding gowns. She was even less in the mood to explain the reason to Terri.

"Sure. I'll give you my opinion, for what it's worth."

As they looked at the gowns, Rachel couldn't help imagining what she would choose. Lace, with beads of pearl and a high neckline, like the one in the window. She imagined walking down the aisle. Her fantasy evaporated abruptly as she realized she could imagine only Jonathon at the other end.

Terri stepped out, wearing the second gown. "Well, which will it be?"

Rachel studied her critically. "This one. I think the high bodice suits you."

Terri nodded, smoothing the silky skirt. "I think so, too. This one, it is."

Rachel left Terri to finish the fitting and headed back to the center. The mail had arrived and she set the bills aside. At least with Paula replacing Terri, there was one thing off her mind. With or without Jonathon, the center would go on. So would her life.

The week dragged slowly. Each night she hoped Jonathon would call. On Saturday, she took an extra shift of students to relieve Terri, who was picking up her parents from the airport.

Having skipped her dinner break, she stopped at a drive-thru for a burger. It was late when she reached home, hungry and tired.

The phone rang. The sound of Jonathon's voice would have thrilled her had his tone not sent a chill down her spine. "Has Nina called you today?"

"No. Why?"

"I think she may have Ricky. I got home a little while ago and the sitter told me he hadn't come in from playing hide-in-seek. I went outside and talked to the other kids. They said Ricky got into a car with a woman that matched Nina's description. We called the police and they came out. They've checked her house and she's not there."

His voice shook as he added. "I'm afraid I'll never see Ricky again."

CHAPTER TEN

She gasped, assimilating the news. "When did this happen?"

"This afternoon. Ricky went outside to play with his friends. One of the kids saw him get into Nina's car."

Rachel remembered the curling iron, the stairs, and the induced illness. No wonder Ricky had wished for the hide of a rhino when they were at the zoo. If he were with Nina, he was surely in danger.

"I'm coming over. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Thanks."

She grabbed her purse and headed for the door, murmuring an urgent prayer for Ricky's safety. Maybe the police had already found him and he would be at home by the time she got there."

At Jonathon's townhouse, the porch light beckoned, promising a warmth and comfort it could not deliver. She shivered, thinking it eerie that things could look normal when something was terribly wrong. She wanted to go home and pretend this had never happened. Yet, she knew Jonathon was alone and facing a desperate night of uncertainty.

He swung open the door, looking disheveled. "We don't know where Nina's taken him. The police put a watch on her house, but she hasn't come home."

Her hand trembled as she touched his cheek. "It's going to be okay. They'll spot her car. You'll see."

He sank onto the couch, head in his hands. "It's my fault. If I had been home this wouldn't have happened."

She settled close beside him. "That's not true. If Nina was determined to grab Ricky, she would have found a way no matter what. Yet, I wonder why he got in her car."

"The kid who saw them said they talked for a few minutes, and then, Ricky got in. The kid didn't hear what was said."

"Nina had a pretty powerful hold on him. Remember, how she intimidated him into hiding her abuse? There's no telling what she told him to get him to go. She may have told him you were hurt or sick and that she was supposed to take him to you."

Jonathon's jaw tightened. "You're probably right. I can't believe I trusted that woman. If she hurts Ricky, I'll never forgive myself. I should never have ..."

Rachel broke in. "We've got to figure out where they might be. Do you think she'll take him out of state? Does she have any relatives we could call?"

He shook his head. "She was an only child, like Eva. I don't think she keeps up with any of her kin."

"That means they're probably in the city. We just have to think of where. We could call some motels and see if she's registered."

"It's worth a try."

They circled the hotels closest to the condo and began making calls. After an hour of no luck, they gave up.

Jonathon tossed the phone book onto the floor. "I better stay off the phone in case the police call."

Rachel nodded. "I'll make some coffee." Now that she knew her way around his kitchen, it didn't take long to get the coffee made.

She brought it back to the couch where Jonathon sat brooding. He accepted his cup, and said, "By now, she could have him hundreds of miles away. Every hour that goes by means less chance of finding them."

Refusing to abandon her faith, she shook the vision from her mind. "I don't think she's taken him out of state. I think she's close by, but hiding. They'll turn up." She believed her prediction. She only hoped Ricky would be safe when he was found.

As it grew late, Rachel's eyelids grew heavy. She leaned against Jonathon's shoulder and fell asleep with a prayer for Ricky on her lips. At dawn, she awoke with a stiff neck. She twisted to see Jonathon asleep in a kneeling position beside the couch. His dark lashes fluttered in response to her movement. His handsome brow drew into a frown.

What would Nina think if she knew Rachel had been here all night? It would be the same thing she imagined the night she had called Rachel about the babysitter.

Her heart filled with remorse. She had been far from charitable when he admitted he had let the babysitter spend the night. Now, that she was in a similar circumstance, she would expect everyone to assume the best. She had been wrong to nurture her suspicions when she should have trusted what her heart told her was true.

Jonathon roused. A moment later, he sat bolt upright. "What time is it?"

She glanced at her watch. "It's almost six."

He rubbed a hand across his eyes. "I felt desperate last night, Rachel. I still do. But I put Ricky in God's care, whatever happens. I have Jesus now, and I know the future is in His hands."

Rachel felt tears slip down her cheeks. God, in his goodness, could use even this present crisis for growth in Jonathon's spiritual life.

"No matter what happens, we'll face it together," she promised.

His eyes glistened as he glanced into his cup of cold coffee. "Thanks for staying with me. It helps to have you here."

"I couldn't stand not to be here." She swallowed hard. "I was wrong to accuse you of misconduct with the babysitter. In my heart, I knew it wasn't true. It was circumstance, just like having me fall asleep here last night."

"I have to admit it did sound pretty bad."

"Maybe. Still, I should have known better. I do trust you and I'm sorry for what I said."

His smile eased the line of tension around his mouth. "I know. I accept your apology. It was more Nina's fault than yours."

She kissed him lightly on the forehead as she arose to collect the cups. "I'll get us some fresh coffee."

She stood in the quiet room and remembered Ricky as he had been when he helped her set the table for dinner. The tears she had been holding began to flow down her face. If only she could go back and hold him close. She would watch over him and protect him. She could not bear the thought of having him grow up under Nina's abuse. Closing her eyes, she prayed again for his safe return. At seven o'clock, she called the pastor and explained what had happened. He assured her that Ricky would be put immediately on the prayer chain.

When she hung up, Jonathon said, "A few months ago, I would have told them to save their breath. Now, I know all of our prayers are going straight to a loving God."

"Rachel took his hand. We don't know where Nina took Ricky, but God does."

"Let's pray that God will watch over both of them until they are found."

He bowed his head and led them in a prayer that was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Her heart leapt to her throat as Jonathon asked tensely, "Where are you, son? Look around and tell me where you are. "

After a moment, he let the phone slip from his ear. "They hung up before I could find out where they are."

Rachel knelt beside him. "What did they say?"

"Nina said she decided to let Ricky say good-bye, though I didn't deserve to hear from him. She said I'd never see him again. Then Ricky came on and said Nina had promised to take him to see Eva. He was excited. He must think she's still alive."

Rachel shook his arm. "We've got to think. What did she mean, she'd take him to see Eva? Does she mean the cemetery? Could they be going there?"

He sat upright. "Maybe. I don't know. They could be going by Eva's grave before they take off for good. It's a half-hour's drive but it's worth a try. Let's go."

They drove swiftly across town in the hope of catching up with Nina, each knowing it might be their last chance.

As they drove into the entrance toward the grave, Rachel prayed they would find Ricky safe and well. They rounded a curve and spotted the dark sedan, nose-first in a ditch. Jonathon pulled to the dirt shoulder and they jumped from the car.

Nina lay slumped behind the steering wheel. Ricky lay ghostly pale next to her on the front seat. Jonathon jerked open the door and felt for Ricky's pulse. He patted his face. "Ricky, wake up." The smell of alcohol filled the car and an empty bottle of pills lay on the floor board.

"I'll call an ambulance." Rachel fumbled for her phone.

Jonathon held Ricky, massaging his arms. She could see the child's chest rise and fall in shallow breathing. Nina groaned and stirred.

Moments later, two sets of flashing lights announced an ambulance and police car. Efficient paramedics took over, examining Nina and Ricky. They brought out stretchers and loaded the unconscious patients.

Jonathon turned to Rachel. "I'd like to ride with Ricky. Will you bring my car?"

She nodded, following behind on the drive to the hospital, and then joining Jonathon in the emergency waiting room.

"How are they?"

"I don't know yet. They said Ricky was given some tranquilizers. Since they don't know how much he got, they're pumping his stomach."

She shuddered. "Poor Ricky."

They sat together until a nurse appeared. "Mr. Parker?"

"Yes." He rose swiftly.

"Your son is conscious and appears to be okay. We're going to keep him in recovery for a couple of hours, then move him to a room for the night. His grandmother has a concussion and broken arm. She'll need to stay for a few days."

"Thanks. Can I see him?"

The nurse nodded. "This way."

They followed her to a recovery room.

"Hi, buddy. How ya feeling?" Jonathon asked.

He managed a shaky smile. "I'm okay. Where's Grandma?"

Jonathon brushed his tangled dark hair from his forehead. "Your Grandma hurt her head. She'll have to be here for a few days. I think she'll be okay."

Ricky frowned. "She was going to take me to see Mama. What happened?"

"I don't know. You were in an accident. Did you take some of Grandma's pills before you fell asleep?"

He made a face. "Grandma said they were candy but they tasted awful."

Jonathon patted his son's arm. "I bet they did."

Ricky regarded Jonathon with confused eyes."Where's Mama? Why didn't I see her?"

"Remember, we talked about it. Your mother is dead. It was wrong of Grandma to tell you that you could see her."

"If I had died, I would have seen her."

"I'm afraid that's what your grandma had in mind. But that was wrong, too. I would have missed you. I don't want you to die." He gave Ricky's hand a gentle squeeze.

Ricky noticed Rachel. "Would you miss me?"

She patted his hand. "Yes. I would miss you a lot."

His eyelids drooped. "I'm tired. I want to go to sleep."

Jonathon rubbed his cheek. "You've been through a lot today, pal. You sleep for awhile."

When he woke, he was moved to the second floor. Rachel convinced Jonathon to go down for a snack by promising to keep a vigil beside Ricky.

Ricky shifted restlessly. "I'm hungry. I want supper."

"You must be feeling better? I'll ask them to bring you a dinner tray."

"I am. I want to go home."

"You can go home tomorrow. They want to keep you here tonight to make sure you're okay."

"Are you going to stay with me?"

"I don't think there's room for me to stay all night, honey." She glanced around the private room, noting the couch near the window. "I bet your Dad will stay if you want him to."

"I wish you were my mom. Then you could stay, too."

Her heart warmed with maternal feeling. "We'll pretend for right now that I am and I'll stay for awhile and take care of you."

Jonathon returned to find Ricky happily chatting while he ate. He handed Ricky a bag. "I went by the gift shop and bought a few things."

Ricky spilled a comic book, coloring book and some crayons on his bed. "Thanks. Miss Ashworth has been pretending to be my mom."

She felt her cheeks flush. She met Jonathon's quizzical eyes and explained, "Ricky felt he needed a mother for awhile."

Jonathon nodded. "I can't question his taste."

He turned to Ricky. "Lots of people were looking for you last night. Where did your grandma take you?"

He shrugged. "We went to a motel. It was a long ways off cause we drove a long time to get there. Grandma drank a lot of smelly stuff. Then, she slept real late. She didn't feel good when we left to find Mama."

Ricky opened the coloring book and began to color.

They sat beside him, enjoying the feeling of closeness and knowing he was safe at last and the nightmare was really over. Finally, Rachel told Jonathon, "I've got to go. I'll check on you two in the morning."

When she reached the front desk, impulse led her to ask if Nina had been placed in a room.

"Yes, she's in 610."

Before she could change her resolve, she got on the elevator and pushed the button for the sixth floor. She walked down a long hall to a nurses' station positioned behind a locked door and window of glass. She paused at the window and fought her temptation to change her mind. Yet, in her soul she knew that God had spared Ricky. She could not deny the calling she felt to reach out to Nina.

"Could I see Nina Jenkins, if she's allowed company?"

"Let me see..." The nurse glanced down, flipping through some papers. "Yes. That would be nice for her to have company. I'll push the button to unlock the door. Her room is straight ahead on the right."

Rachel turned the handle and stepped into the hall. She felt like Dorothy on her journey to Oz. Reaching room 610, she knocked gently and peered into the room. Nina lay motionless, alone in the double room. Her eyes stared blankly. Her skin looked waxy without the usual rouge.

Rachel stepped inside. "Nina."

Slowly, Nina turned to face her.

Rachel bit her lip, hardly daring to move. Why had she been asked to do this? Her turmoil abated at the sight of Nina's wide confused eyes. "I did something bad. What's going to happen to me?"

Rachel moved to stand beside her bed. "You're going to be in the hospital for a few more days."

"Are they going to lock me up? Don't let them lock me up." She sat up, pleading with Rachel, her voice shaking with agitation.

Rachel licked her dry lips. "You'll go to a place where you can get help. You'll get better and then you can go home."

"No. They'll lock me up and everybody will forget about me. Everybody hates me."

"We don't hate you. We want you to get better."

Her eyes narrowed with suspicion "Where's Ricky?"

"He's here. He was sick from the pills, but he's going to be okay. He's going home tomorrow."

She nodded. "Going home. Yes. That's good. When Eva comes to get him, tell her I've forgotten my toothbrush."

She settled back on her pillow, fluffed her wilted hair, and hummed to herself. Rachel felt her heart sink.

The casual observer would never know there was something terribly wrong.

"You better rest now," Rachel said.

Nina clucked her tongue. "I know what you're up to, and I'm going to tell Eva."

"What am I up to?"

"You're trying to make Ricky love you more than us," she chortled in disdain. "It won't work. He'll always love us best."

Rachel forced a smile. "You get some rest. I'll be praying for you."

Rachel slipped out as Nina turned on the television. She wasn't sure if she had done any good, but having seen the mental state Nina was in, made it easier to forgive her. That simple act lifted a weight from her heart.

The next morning, she found Ricky dressed go home. "You look like you're feeling fine. Where's your dad?"

"He went to check me out."Will I be tardy to school?"

"No. You have a good excuse. Mrs. Jeffries won't mind."

Jonathon appeared, followed by a nurse with a wheelchair. He gave Rachel a quick hug. "We're outta here."

"I'm glad. By the way, I stopped to see Nina last night."

He frowned as they followed Ricky's wheelchair to the elevator. "I know you can't understand how hard this is for me. Ricky's not your son. It's easier for you to grant forgiveness. It's hard for you to understand how I feel. I know God desires for me to forgive her, but I can't forget how she planned to murder my child."

Tears filled her eyes. She longed to protest, to tell him that it hadn't been easy, that she loved Ricky as her own child. Knowing this was no place to express her feelings, she said simply, "Perhaps you're right."

She drove to work unable to ignore her possible motive in telling Jonathon that she had seen Nina. Had she wished to impress him with her spiritual maturity? She bit her lip, knowing she had been wrong in wishing to impress him. God had saved Jonathon, putting them on equal footing. The blessings she had received from her longer tenure as a Christian carried their own reward. She strode to the phone, ready to apologize.

Andi answered, telling her Mr. Parker had an urgent meeting out of town and would be back on Thursday. Rachel hung up, feeling dejected. She wondered how Ricky felt, being left with a sitter so soon after his horrible ordeal.

No matter. It seemed Jonathon was back to "business first".

When Jonathon called on Thursday night, she plunged into an apology.

He was quiet until she finished. Then he said softly, "You were right to make me face my feelings toward Nina. Though I have accepted God's gracious gift of salvation, I need to lean on Him for strength in my human frailty. It was hard to forgive her. Yet God gave me the strength. I realize she is sick and needs to get treatment. I'm going to take care of that along with other changes in my life. I want to talk to you about them, tomorrow, in person. Let's meet at the coffee shop after work."

Rachel felt uneasy. "What kind of changes have you made?"

"Just say you'll see me. Please."

She agreed. Yet, worry niggled at her all during the next day. By the time they met, Rachel's nerves felt like tightly strung wire. She had imagined all sorts of possibilities, finally deciding he had been offered a promotion that would take him to another city. He had probably agreed to take it. That would leave her with two choices, give up her business and move with him, or stay here alone. The thought of either choice made her miserable.

He studied her closely. "I'm taking a job with a smaller firm. It pays less, but I won't have to go out of town and there won't be such long hours or pressure to produce. I had to go out of town this week to wind up a few loose ends at my old job."

He took her hand. "I know you don't think you've been getting through to me, but you have. After God, you and Ricky are the most important things in my life. I know I can't keep this job and be a good father. I've wasted a lot of time, but now I intend to be the father, and husband, if you will have me, that God intended me to be. Will you marry me, Rachel Ashworth?" "

She stared into dark eyes which awaited her reaction. Tears blurred her gaze. "I'll marry you. I've always loved you. I've dreamed of this moment for years."

He produced a small box. "I'd like to make it official."

Her slim fingers moved in eager anticipation as she lifted the lid. Inside was a solitaire. Its facets caught a rainbow of colors as she turned it in her hand. She slipped it on.

"It's perfect, absolutely gorgeous."

A satisfied grin settled on his face, his eyes full of delight. "You've made me the happiest man alive. Will you come to dinner tomorrow night? We could spend an evening at home and tell Ricky. "

She reached her arms around his neck. "It sounds perfect."

As he leaned down to kiss her, she gave him the remainder of her heart, which had been held back in self-defense, since he'd walked back into her life.

She took the feel of his kiss with her as she drove home, planning a wedding where she was the bride. She would carry red roses to compliment her dark red hair. And Jonathon would wear a black tux, his broad shoulders straight and tall as she walked with him down the aisle.

The next evening she was pleased to see that Ricky was happy with the news. "You'll live here with us?

She nodded. "After your dad and I are married."

He smiled broadly. "That would be neat."

She gave him a hug. "I'm glad you're happy about it."

After he went off to play, she followed Jonathon to the patio to help start the barbeque. "I've been thinking about how you're changing jobs to spend more time with me and Ricky. I've decided to make some changes, too. I'm going to hire a teacher to work three evenings a week and every other Saturday. You've made a commitment to cut back on your work to be with me and I'd like to make the same commitment to you."

He closed the lid to the grill and took her in his arms. "If you're sure that's what you want."

"I'm sure. The only thing I need to know is if you're still offering that loan. Paula doesn't want to buy in and I'd like to pay Terri off before I start paying a new teacher. What do you think? Am I still worth the risk?"

He pulled her close and kissed her gently. "I'd give you my last dime if it would make you happy."

When dinner was ready, she watched the men in her life bow their heads as Jonathon asked the blessing. They spent the evening in the backyard, talking and watching Ricky play. After he went to bed, they climbed the stairs arm in arm, to tuck him in. He was breathing softly, already asleep.

Jonathon put his arms around Rachel. "I hope you won't ever mind having me instead of money. We'll never get rich now that I've taken this new job." `

She nodded toward the silky haired child who was peacefully sleeping. "God has blessed us, Jonathon. We're already rich."

She felt warmed by the thought they were truly to become a family, united by God.

...

For a free read of one of my sweet contemporary romances CLICK HERE

About The Author:

A native of Houston, TX, Karen spent her early years enjoying life along the Gulf Coast. After high school, she attended Texas A&M as well as the University of Houston where she obtained a B.S. in early childhood education. She has written numerous articles and stories, books for children and novels for adults. She particularly enjoys writing contemporary and historical romance.

She now lives in the Southwest with her family and assorted pets. <https://www.facebook.com/karencoganfanpage/>

163

