Alright, here's the I VI I.
Say Sylvain is hitting on some fly girl. You give him one of these.
So which house will you choose?
Okay, this is comparing apples with nails in it,
to oranges with thumbtacks in it,
to a pizza that's clearly been shit on.
- So Golden Deer? 
- Yes please.
Care to join me by the Ferdinand von
Fire?
Would you like to be my Ferdinand von Squire?
You are Ferdinand von Hired!
Wait. This is probably ill-advised.
You're Ferdinand von Fired.
*yawns* I sure am Ferdinand von Tired!
- What do-- 
- We need a plan.
Ferdinand von Conspire!
What I'm saying is...
you, Rhea, Flayn and I are like a family.
Oh.
- ...daddy? 
- NOPE nope nope by the goddess nope.
Sorry Hilda, you failed your test.
You'll have to do detention.
Why can't we go to the sauna like the other class does?
I don't know what kind of sick operation Byleth is operating,
but here young lady? We do detention.
UGGGH, this class SUCKS.
*clears throat in a noble kinda way*
Time for the Ferdinand von Choir!
Rhea, can't we have like, a fourth house?
What, do you want me to pull a house out of the sewers or something?
Because there's one down there.
I'll totally do it for you.
*whispering*
I love you.
Alright, we're going in the basement. Everyone pick someone from your class.
I will take Linhardt, as he is our resident healer and a Crest expert.
I will take Ashe, as he always tries his hardest, and his optimism will keep our spirits high.
I'll take Hilda, because this is a
punishment for her.
WEAK!
Come on, big guy. Let's go into town, get some drinks, find a few ladies...
And then... slaughter Edelgard?
- ...no, like other ladies that-- 
- I'll put her head on a spike, while her body convulses under my boot!
Whoa! Dimitri, pull yourself together.
*long exhale*
You're right. I'm cool, I'm calm.
Let's just hit on some of the guards here.
Guard? EDELGARD?
*extremely rageful scream*
Goddess damn it, Dimitri.
Mmmmmm, harder, Mommy.
You are a Ferdinand von LIAR!!
What are you, president of the boar's fan
club or something?
No, I'm simply a member of it.
However, I AM president of the Ashe fan club.
Welcome to the Bad at the Bitches Club!
- It's actually the Bad Bitches Club. 
- Is that not what I am saying?
Oh no. I'm in the wrong club.
We thought you were dead! We
lit Ferdinand von Pyres!
*nobly sobbing*
I was a Ferdinand von Crier!
Hey, you want to see something cool? Watch this.
- I, Constance von Nuvelle will- 
- be lower than the dirt-
- unlike House Nuvelle which I will restore-
- unlike myself whose utterly useless to-
-behold the glory that is me!
What are you gonna do now, teach? Now you've got two beautiful scheming assholes.
Oh no.
-He just threw sand in my face!
- Tactics!
I've never been Ferdinand von Spry-er!
The way you brew this tea is simply noble!
Indeed, Ferdinand! I am simply enamored by your noble efforts.
I couldn't have asked for guests with more noble table manners!
*bourgeoisie laughter*
Ugh, disgusting.
That Flame Emperor is kinda cool... don't you think so, Professor?
I heard they're super hot under that mask.
And like, they have an eight-pack.
I'm working to pay down my debts here, Professor.
Give me five gold and I'll keep my shirt off.
You drive a hard bargain, Balthus.
I'm here to Ferdinand von Inspire!
I'm not upset with you, I'm upset with myself for believing in you.
As you should be!
Uhhh, what happened to your eye?
I tore it out and shoved it down a fleeing bandits throat so I could see why he was so gutless.
Um, gross. But also kind of cool.
It's coming down to the Ferdinand von Wire.
In fact, I'd say this is very Ferdinand von Dire!
Don't be suspicious!
Don't be suspicious!
