 
Run From You

Misty Reigenborn

Copyright 2013

By Misty Reigenborn

Smashwords Edition

Run From You

Chapter 1

Jessica was tired. She wondered if she should pull over at the truck stop she could see ahead of her and get coffee. She'd drank she didn't know how many cups of coffee already that day and two energy drinks. Yet it didn't seem to be helping.

She sighed as she lit a cigarette, wondering why she bothered anymore. What was the point? She was twenty-four years old and had been moving around since she was eighteen. She had lived in seven states and had lost track of the towns. What made her think she was going to find her father now?

Just because she'd finally decided that she deserved some answers from a man she hadn't seen in twenty-one years and she'd finally found the courage to say screw it and try one last ditch effort to find him didn't mean she was going to. The searches she'd paid for and the ones she hadn't; hadn't turned up a thing. It was like her father had disappeared off the face of the earth. And maybe he had. Her mother probably thought she had.

She sighed again as she closed the gap to the truck stop. It was either turn in now, or keep driving. She threw her cigarette out the window and decided to pull into the lot. Maybe someone could give her an idea of where to stay she thought. Somewhere cheap and halfway clean preferably.

Jessica Brewster, or Jess as she preferred to be called, a slender woman with dark hair and her father's green eyes, stepped out of her car and pushed the button to lock the doors. The lot was mostly empty, a few trucks and a shiny red sports car that seemed too flashy for a small town America truck stop parking lot.

She stepped into the brightly lit diner. A waitress with teased hair and a nametag that read 'Glenda' said "Sit where ever you want honey. I'll be with you in a minute."

Jess nodded and glanced around the restaurant. There were few customers at this time of night, too late for dinner and still too early for the bars to have closed for the night. The only other customers were three truckers at the counter, and a good looking guy sitting alone in a booth by the door, drinking coffee and looking at the screen of his cell phone.

He paid attention to her. She could feel his eyes roving her body. She almost shivered, as if suddenly colder. She knew that he was picturing her without her clothes on. He looked like what was politely called a ladies' man. She avoided his eyes as she headed towards a booth in the back.

She picked up the menu off of the table and glanced through it, lost in thought.

"What can I get you to drink hon?"

She looked up. The waitress had reappeared and somehow the young guy from the front booth had ended up right behind her.

"Coffee please," Jess said.

The guy was looking at her with unabashed interest. Glenda turned to him. "Daylin leave her alone. Can't you see that the young lady wants to eat her meal in peace?"

"Don't you think we should let her decide?" Daylin gave Jess a grin that she was sure had gotten many a woman into his bed.

Jess didn't know what to say. If she was too polite, he'd take it as an invitation. But she didn't want to be downright rude. Never mind that he was being pretty rude himself. He seemed to expect her to jump at the chance of sitting with him. She said nothing. He took it as an invitation anyway and slid into the booth across from her.

Glenda gave him a dirty look. He grinned at her, showing off straight, white teeth.

"If he's bothering you honey, just let me know. I'll get one of the guys at the counter to set him straight."

Daylin made a face. "Don't call out the boys Glenda. I don't mean this beautiful girl any harm."

Jess sighed. Sometimes she wished she was plain, but she looked like her mother who could still be mistaken for her older sister at forty-three.

"I'll be right back with your coffee hon," Glenda said.

Jess nodded, wishing she'd brought her book in from the car. With her nose buried in a book, it was usually enough to make people leave her alone.

"So what's your name darlin'?" Daylin said.

Oh, she thought, they should be in a bar and he should be ten years older and sporting a white band from the wedding ring he'd shoved in his pocket.

She looked at him, appraising him. He was very good looking with a beautiful pair of hazel eyes and dark hair that could use a trim. The arms that were draped across the back of the booth were muscular, his tight fitting t-shirt pulling across his well-built chest. Yes, he was definitely hot. But he most definitely knew it.

She picked up the menu again, though she'd already decided she was going to have-a cheeseburger and onion rings. Maybe that would turn him off she thought, her having an appetite. Though she doubted it. His gaze never left her.

He was making her uncomfortable, looking at her like he'd never seen a woman before. She finally cleared her throat and said "Jess. My name is Jess."

"That's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Or should I say woman? At least I hope you're over 18."

He laughed, though she found nothing funny about his statement. She looked away again, counting the minutes until she could safely make her exit.

Glenda came back with her coffee. She accepted it with a grateful "thank you", glad that she had something to concentrate on besides trying not to think about the way Daylin was concentrating on her.

"Have you decided what you'd like to eat sweetie?"

"A cheeseburger and onion rings please."

"It'll be right up. If you need anything else let me know."

"Hey," Daylin said as Glenda started to walk away.

"Yes Daylin?" Glenda sighed.

"What about me?"

"Yes Daylin?"

"Can I have more coffee please? And a slice of blueberry pie with ice cream. Put it all on one check. I'm paying."

"Yes Daylin," Glenda said.

Jess started to protest, but Daylin's attention was elsewhere. A good looking guy had walked in the door, practically holding up the pretty woman he was with who was wearing what Jess considered to be entirely too much makeup.

"Cam, over here," Daylin called out.

The guy looked their way. Jess almost groaned. Just what she needed. More company when she hadn't wanted any in the first place.

Daylin got up and slid into her side of the booth, giving her an amused look when she plastered herself against the wall.

"Hey Daylin," the guy said, helping the girl into the booth ahead of him. "Who's your friend?"

"Cameron, Lucy, this is my new friend Jess. Jess, this is my cousin Cameron and his girlfriend Lucy."

"Fiancé." Lucy gave Daylin a dirty look.

"Oh yeah," Daylin said. "I forgot he shelled out the big money for that ring." He winked at Cameron. Jess wondered why, but Cameron just looked away.

"Baby I'm starving," Lucy said. "Where's the damn waitress?"

Cameron looked over and caught Glenda's eye. She held up a finger. Lucy said "I have to go to the bathroom Cam. When she gets her sorry ass over here will you order me a patty melt and fries?"

"Of course." Cameron stood and held out a hand to Lucy. She was unsteady on her feet. Cameron held on to her for a minute.

"I'll be right back," Lucy said.

It was sad to Jess to see someone she could tell was normally as lithe as a dancer stumble to the restroom when it was only twenty feet away. But alcohol could tumble the best of them, she mused.

Glenda came back and refilled Daylin's coffee cup, asking what she could get Cameron and Lucy to drink and if Lucy was okay. Cameron nodded; looking embarrassed, and ordered coffee and the food that Lucy had requested, ordering a grilled cheese and fries for himself.

"Why do you still order off the kid's menu?" Daylin teased.

"I don't feel the need to prove my manhood with a fancy sports car or by ordering a T-bone every time Daylin."

Jess hid a smile.

Daylin scowled, but then his face softened into a concerned look. "I thought you said she was going to slow down on her drinking Cam."

"She has been until tonight. She had another fight with her mom."

"There's always going to be an excuse Cameron. A fight with her mom, she hates her job, she has PMS. When's it going to end?"

"She tries, she really does."

"No she doesn't. Every time you go out of town, she's out with her friends, flashing her tits at the bar. One of two things is going to happen. She's going to tease the wrong guy and end up getting raped and you'll end up in jail for kicking the shit out of some sorry scumbag. Or she's going to say yes and you're going to end up playing daddy to a kid that might not be yours. And she'll still be smoking and drinking while she's pregnant."

"It's not like that, and you know it." Cameron sounded frustrated. Jess figured that this was a discussion they'd had before.

"It is Cam. And I thought you told her you weren't going to marry her unless she quit drinking. I told you not to give her that ring."

"You don't get it. I love her. I can't lose her."

"I do get it Cam. I've watched you moon over her since high school. She's still the same party girl now that she was when we graduated. She complains that all her friends are married and they haven't been with their men half as long as she's been with you. But she's not doing anything to change."

"Daylin stop. I know what I'm doing. And you're the last person to give relationship advice."

Daylin scowled again and started to say something, but Glenda returned with their food, telling Cameron that his and Lucy's food would be another few minutes.

It had been over five minutes and even Jess, who felt very uncomfortable to be sitting with strangers in the midst of a family feud, was starting to get worried about Lucy.

Cameron took a sip of his coffee, looked at his watch and gave Jess an apologetic look. "Would you mind checking on Lucy?"

"Sure."

Daylin had started to get up to let her by when Lucy appeared from the direction of the bathroom. She still looked a little unsteady. Cameron jumped up, helping her back into the booth.

"Is our food done? This place is always so slow."

"It'll be another few minutes baby."

Cameron gave Lucy such a look of adoration that Jess turned away, and ended up looking straight into Daylin's eyes. Which was a mistake in her mind because he was doing it again. He was looking at her like he knew what she needed, and what he thought she needed was obviously him.

Why hadn't she kept driving she wondered again? She could be sleeping right now in some anonymous motel room instead of with strangers feeling like she was eavesdropping on a private discussion.

"So Jess," Cameron said. "Are you new in town or just passing through?"

"Um." Jess wasn't sure what to say. This was the town her father had grown up in, so it was her destination at least for the moment, but she wasn't sure she wanted to admit to Daylin that she was going to be staying in town. Though Welton seemed like such a small town that she figured she might as well tell them the truth. "I'm going to be staying in town for a while at least. It might only be a day or two though."

Daylin gave her a disappointed look. "All the good ones are just passing through. Then again, there's not much to attract someone to this shithole."

"Asshole," Lucy muttered.

"Not an insult to you Lucy," Daylin said.

"Right," she muttered.

Daylin rolled his eyes. "Why does she still not like me after all this time Cam?"

"I don't know Daylin. There couldn't possibly be any reason for a woman in this town not to like you right? The one woman that you're not related to that you haven't been to bed with," Cameron said.

Something passed then between Daylin and Lucy, so brief that Jess barely caught it and was glad that Cameron didn't.

Daylin said. "Do you really need to discuss my past in front of Jess?"

Cameron snorted. "Your past? Last week you were with what's her name? Luce what is her name? The chick with the big nose that you used to work with."

"Dolla." Lucy glanced impatiently towards the kitchen where Glenda was picking up two plates of food.

"Yeah, Dolla. The week before it was Jane, and we certainly can't forget the fiasco from last summer when you almost got arrested now can we?"

Once Glenda had dropped off their food and left again, Daylin muttered "We didn't almost get arrested. That old bat just threatened to call the cops. And I asked you to shut the hell up about this stuff in front of Jess. How can I impress a girl when you're dragging my rep through the dirt?"

"Your reputation is well earned Daylin." Lucy dipped a French fry in the huge pool of ketchup she'd dumped on her plate.

"And yours isn't?" Daylin shot back.

Cameron gave him a look that could kill. "There's no need to bring up shit that happened almost a decade ago."

"There's no need to bring up shit that happened last summer either."

Cameron grinned. "I'm sure Jess would like to hear the story Daylin. She looks like she could use a good laugh. Don't you want to hear about what Daylin got caught doing with our high school English teacher in the park Jess?"

Now it was Daylin that gave Cameron a look that could kill.

Cameron went on "She was pretty fine in high school. But she's had a couple of kids since then, really put on some weight. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that my cousin has a big mouth that he should know when to keep closed." Daylin gave him a tight smile.

Cameron laughed. "I learned from the best man. You remember when we were sixteen and my little sister found those rubbers that I didn't know you'd shoved into my backpack?"

Daylin sighed. "Yes Cameron. You remember when we were twelve and you almost got caught with my brother's nudie mag until you decided it was a good idea to shove it at me when my mom happened to open the door?"

Cameron snorted. "I remember, but it wasn't Russ's magazine. It was mine. I traded Jason Anderson for it at school. Three weeks' allowance, two packs of baseball cards and a chewed piece of Mary Latrell's gum."

"Cameron." Lucy reached to snag a fry off of his plate. "That's disgusting."

Cameron said "Who ever said twelve-year-old boys weren't disgusting was obviously lying."

Daylin chuckled, turning to Jess, who was trying not to listen. "So has my wonderful cousin scared you away from me?"

She looked up at him, thinking that she'd been scared away as soon as he started picturing her naked. And again when he'd sat down across from her and his eyes kept drifting back to her chest, and again because he was a red blooded American male. In her life males tended to end up hurting her one way or another. But she said nothing of what she was thinking, and instead let out a big yawn.

"I think you'd better get your girl to bed Daylin," Cameron said.

"I'm not his girl," Jess said.

"You could be." Daylin gave her a wide grin.

She sighed. "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Daylin I don't think the girl's interested in being your flavor of the week," Lucy said.

"Did anyone ever tell you that your fiancé's a bitch Cameron?" Daylin said.

"All the time," Cameron said.

"Hey," Lucy said. "The fiancé is sitting right here and has ears."

"Sorry babe. But you know it's true."

"Yeah, okay, but just because I'm a bitch doesn't mean that Daylin's not a player."

"I've mended my ways Lucy." Daylin gave Jess an innocent look.

"What, in the like two seconds since you met Jess?" Lucy said.

Daylin looked at his watch. "It's been more like an hour Luce. But your intoxicated brain probably can't grasp the concept of time."

Lucy gave Daylin a look and started to reach across the table.

Cameron put a hand in her way. "Enough. I love you both and need both of you to live through the night. Jess, where are you staying?"

"I don't know. Is there a motel close by?" She yawned again.

"Which do you prefer?" Lucy said. "Mice or cockroaches?"

"You're kidding right?" Jess said.

"I'm afraid not."

"Where's the nearest decent motel?" Jess said. It was almost a plea. She didn't know how much further she could drive safely.

"It's about thirty miles to the nearest decent place to stay on the interstate."

"Shit," Jess said.

"You can stay at my place," Daylin said. Lucy gave him a dirty look. "It'll save you $50 or so, and I won't have to worry about you falling asleep behind the wheel and killing yourself. You look beat Jess."

She felt beat. She hadn't slept well the night before.

Still, she couldn't stand the thought of staying at Daylin's house.

"I'll behave, I promise," he said. "I'll sleep on the couch. Scout's honor."

Cameron chuckled. "You quit scouts when you were like nine."

Jess could imagine Daylin pretend sleepwalking naked into his bedroom claiming that he forgot she was there. "Is there a convenience store nearby?" Though she dreaded the idea of having to stay at a motel out of town when Welton was her destination anyway.

"C'mon Jess. I'm trying to be a gentleman. Give a guy a break."

Glenda returned then, saving her from having to answer for a minute. "Can I get you guys anything else?"

"Just the check," Cameron said. "Give ours to Daylin too."

"Hey," Daylin said. "I'm doing lunch tomorrow."

"We're trying to save money for our trip."

Daylin sighed. "Fine, bring me the check."

Glenda laughed. "You owe me a big tip too, for putting up with you all night."

"Yes Glenda," Daylin said.

Glenda walked away. Daylin turned back to Jess. "So, what do you say Jess? My place is five minutes away. It's clean and I've got a nice comfortable bed."

"Since when is your place clean Daylin?" Lucy said.

"I guess since you called yours clean Luce. Though I'd hardly call empty pizza boxes, overflowing ashtrays and panties under the kitchen table clean."

Cameron blushed. "Shut up Daylin."

"I didn't put them there. Though I think panties under the kitchen table are a notch up from walking in on you trying on Lucy's bra."

Now he was really bright red. "You weren't supposed to mention that again Daylin."

Daylin gave him a sly smile. "And you said you'd shut the hell up about Mrs. Nelson. So I think we're even."

"Yeah, okay," Cameron said.

Glenda returned with the check. Daylin handed her a credit card. "I'll meet you outside," he said. "Don't you dare leave Jess."

She turned away from him, following Cameron and Lucy to the door.

Cameron held the door for her and then put an arm around Lucy's waist, pulling her with him to a blue sedan.

She stood watching them for a minute, undecided. Finally she pulled out a cigarette, and lit it leaning against her car, feeling the weariness sweep over her again.

Her eyes closed at the sudden sound of Lucy's loud retching. She almost jumped when Daylin's voice appeared right behind her. "Hey," he said.

"Hey." She dropped her cigarette and put it out beneath her foot.

"Sorry you had to hear that. I hate to be an asshole to Lucy, but Cameron is so blinded by his infatuation with her that he can't see that she needs help."

Feeling uncomfortable, Jess nodded. She could see that Daylin cared about Lucy almost as much as he cared about Cameron. She wondered what had gone on between the two of them before she and Cameron were an item.

"I wouldn't have taken you for a smoker. You smell so fresh and clean."

"Um, thanks I guess." She hid a smile. "For telling me that I don't stink."

"I didn't mean it like that Jess. Will you please come to my house? I swear I won't do anything you don't want me to." He grinned.

Ugh, she thought. "I don't think so Daylin."

"I'm sorry Jess. My mouth gets in the way sometimes. I promise that I will be a perfect gentleman. I'll even cook you breakfast, or lunch whatever. You can sleep as long as you want."

"Um, I . . ." Then she yawned again.

"Really Jess. You're tired. Please, for safety's sake come with me."

She knew he was right, but she hated to admit it. "Okay."

He grinned like he'd won the lottery, and she almost took it back. "I'll be right back. Wait right here."

She shook her head at herself, watching him join Cameron and Lucy. He had an incredible butt. She didn't feel anything but a little stab of guilt when she looked at it.

He had what seemed like a heated conversation with Cameron because once they were done, Cameron squealed out of the parking lot. She caught a glimpse of Lucy with her head against the passenger side window, eyes closed.

She lit another cigarette as Daylin came her way. "It's only a few blocks away. We'll have you there and tucked into my bed in no time."

"Yeah." Never mind that he obviously wanted to be tucked into his bed with her.

He walked towards the sports car that she'd seen when she'd first pulled in, turning around when he was halfway there and grinning at her. Could he tell that she was looking at his butt again she wondered? Or was he thinking about how he was going to talk her into sleeping with him?

She questioned her actions again as she unlocked the car and got behind the wheel. What the hell was she getting herself into she wondered? She knew what he wanted her to get into. But what was she thinking following a stranger, no matter how attractive, back to his house?

She took a deep drag off of her cigarette as she started the car. She heard the engine of Daylin's car start. Very manly she thought. She rolled her eyes and followed him out of the parking lot.

Chapter 2

They pulled up to a small, white, one story house a few minutes later. The front yard was small and neat. She parked behind him in the driveway and took her time getting out of the car.

He was standing by her car. She grudgingly accepted his hand to help her out, but pulled away as soon as she was on her feet.

He grinned at her like he had felt what she had when their hands had touched so briefly.

"Let me get the door, then I'll come back for your bag," he said.

She went around to the trunk and pulled out her duffel bag, wondering if she could get away with taking her dad's old leather bomber jacket in with her and not looking too weird in front of Daylin. Sometimes when she couldn't sleep, she'd put her head on her dad's jacket and be able to fall asleep right away. It had long since stopped smelling like him, but it still comforted her.

She put her hand on the old jacket briefly and decided to leave it there. She shouldn't have much trouble falling asleep with the way she felt right now. She pulled out her bag and shut the trunk, almost jumping when she realized Daylin was standing next to her again.

She looked away from the questioning look in his eyes, and shoved the bag at him, pushing the button to lock the car.

He was silent as she followed him into the house. The living room was cramped but neat, filled with electronic equipment. There was a huge TV, a stereo system, a desktop computer on a desk in the corner, and a closed laptop on the coffee table.

He opened the door to a small bedroom. She caught a glimpse of him tossing clothes into a hamper and smiled. While he put her bag away and got his pajamas and stuff to make up his bed on the couch, she glanced at the pictures on the walls.

They were numerous and started from when he was very young. Most had Cameron in them. The ones from what looked like high school had Lucy in them later on. The last few showed Daylin with a pretty girl with light brown hair. What looked like a prom picture showed Lucy and Cameron gazing at each other in adoration. The girl with Daylin was the only one who was looking at the camera. He was staring at her like she was the only girl on the planet. The graduation picture was a different story. It showed Lucy grinning brazenly, Cameron with a more subdued smile and Daylin looking like his whole world had crumbled. Where was the girl and what had happened to make Daylin so sad Jess wondered?

When she was studying the picture he snuck up on her again. His voice was right in her ear when he said "She was beautiful wasn't she?"

"Yeah," Jess said softly. "She was."

It wasn't that she was someone who could walk into a room and have every male within 20 feet turn like Lucy. Like Jess herself, something she dreaded to think about. She was pretty enough, but there was something different about her. Something that you could see even in the pictures. She was happy. She shone with a light that was different and much more important than just physical beauty. Her beauty was the kind of beauty that lasted when the wrinkles came and body parts that were once toned started sagging.

"Her name was Amanda," Daylin said softly. There was pain in his voice, but something more as well. Jess wanted to turn and look at his face, to catch a glimpse of something she'd never come anywhere close to feeling, but he put his arms lightly around her waist. She had a feeling he didn't want her to see what he was feeling.

She was exhausted, but wanted to hear his story, wanted to hear the sound of his voice. Against her better judgment, she let herself lean lightly into him. His hands tightened around her waist. She closed her eyes as he continued, trying not to think about the way his hard body felt pressed against hers.

"When she transferred here Junior Year I wanted her so bad I could taste it. But I never thought I would be good enough for her. That a girl like her could ever want anything to do with a guy like me. I was a football player chasing tail, grades just good enough to stay on the team. I'd never met anyone like her. I'd had plenty of girls, Lucy included, though that's something Cameron hasn't heard about and never needs to. She was different. Amanda was like this bright light that everyone could see just by looking at her. She was so good it was almost funny. You'd have thought she had great parents. A PTA cooking baking mom and a hard working dad who never missed the school plays, a family who went to church every Sunday. But it was nothing like that. She was good in spite of them. In spite of her alcoholic mother who yelled at her and her half brothers and sisters and her third stepdad who beat the shit out of her mom and spent half the day passed out on the couch when he was supposed to be out looking for a job. She truly saw the good in people. She said hello to everyone, always had a kind word. When she asked someone how their day was it wasn't because she was being polite. It was because she really cared. She made everyone around her want to be a better person just by being around. She tutored kids for free, helped people get jobs who really needed it. There was this guy, he'd been on the streets or sleeping on people's couches for like fifteen years because he had a drug problem. She helped him turn his life around. You'd remind her of something special she did for someone and she'd think of something even better she could do. She was like an angel. It took me six weeks to get up the courage to ask her out. I thought she'd laugh at me. And she did laugh at me, but it was because she could see how nervous I was. In the year and a half that I knew her I went from wanting to be a professional football player and bed every hot woman I could find to wanting to change the world. She taught me that there could be so much more to life than what we're taught to want. I was still going to play ball, but instead of spending the money on stupid shit like a big house and fancy cars sitting in the garage, she was going to use the money to make people's lives better. And she could have done it too. That girl, all hundred pounds of her, could have changed the whole fucking world."

His arms tightened briefly around Jess's waist again, but then he let her go. He kissed the side of her neck and then took her hand, leading her to the couch.

"Sorry," he said. "I hope I'm not boring you."

"No." He wasn't boring her. He had such passion in his voice that she had to hear more. He sighed, putting his head in his hands. "Daylin. What happened to Amanda?"

He looked at her, his eyes so intense that she had to look away. "I lost her. I lost the only woman that I ever loved to some drunk fuck who never should have been on the road. I should have been with her too. I would have been if Cameron's piece of shit car hadn't broken down. A week and a half before graduation she was gone. We were going to get married. I'd given her an engagement ring. She had it hidden in her sock drawer at home. But that's not even the worst part of it. I had to hear from some bottom feeding gossip that I not only lost my future wife, but our child too."

His voice cracked when he said the last word. She wanted to comfort him, wanted to bridge the gap between them on the couch, but she couldn't do it.

"I'll never know why she didn't tell me. Maybe she didn't know. Or maybe she was waiting for the right time to tell me. I went crazy after that, was drunk at her funeral, drunk at graduation, and drunk and high all summer until I went to school. My parents threatened to disown me. Never mind that I never did anything as bad as my older brother who's been in and out of jail. Or that my sister's bisexual and has a live in lover that the kids think is nothing more than their nanny. I was the bad one because I got my girlfriend pregnant. It didn't matter that I was going to marry her, that I knew I wanted to marry her as soon as she said yes to our first date. It only mattered that she was knocked up and that I was drunk all the time. Her piece of shit stepdad bought the booze for me. I went to college, the college that we were supposed to go to together. For a while I thought I could do it by myself in her memory, give her something to be proud of me for. But I blew my knee out in my first college game and that was the end of that idea. I started drinking again, skipping class, almost got kicked out of school. I came home for Christmas, got into a huge argument with my parents. My dad told me that if I didn't start straightening up, he didn't want me to be his son anymore. I was pissed at first, walked out and went back to school even though it was only the day after Christmas. But I looked at myself and it dawned on me how messed up I was letting everything get. So I started going back to class, got my grades up. But that wasn't good enough for Dad. By the time I came home from school it had been eight months since I'd said more than hello to a girl. Now I was gay. I was pissed as hell again but I said screw it and got myself a girlfriend. It lasted all of two weeks. I couldn't look at a girl and not compare her to Amanda. And there was no way in hell anyone was going to live up to her. So I gave up and started screwing around, any woman that would have me. That lasted for about a year. Things didn't go well. I had a half dozen pregnancy scares, some STD scares, and gave up. I was celibate for another six months and then I dated again. It's pretty much been like that ever since. I'm never with a woman too long, never get too close. I'm sorry if I come on too strong Jess. It's habit. Old habits die hard."

She didn't know what to say. She started to reach for a cigarette from her purse but stopped. He saw her and seeming to read her mind again, said "Go ahead and smoke. Lucy does it all the time. Not that she ever bothered to ask."

She nodded. He watched her light her cigarette and said "Why did you start smoking?"

"It's a long story." And not something that she wanted to explain.

"Humor me."

She started to shake her head but sighed, and since he'd spilled his guts to her said "It reminds me of my dad."

"Is he dead?"

"No. Um well, at least I don't think so. I haven't seen him in twenty-one years."

"I see. How come he and your mom got divorced?"

"I don't know. Well, they didn't get divorced right away I don't think. They obviously got divorced at some point because she married my stepdad, but I don't really know when they actually got divorced. He just sort of walked away." Now this was really something she didn't want to discuss she thought.

"And he never visited you?"

"Uh, no." She was really uncomfortable now, even more uncomfortable than when she'd been listening to him bicker with Cameron and Lucy at the diner.

"That sucks."

"Yeah, it really does."

She put her cigarette out in the ashtray he'd pushed across the table to her and said "I think I'd like to go to bed now."

"Okay."

He looked disappointed, but simply watched her get up off of the couch and head towards the bedroom.

When she'd reached the doorway he said "You might want to leave the door open a bit. It gets stuffy in there at night."

She nodded and then went in to use the restroom. When she was back in the bedroom, she cursed herself for forgetting to take her pajamas with her and was headed back in that direction when she paused. Daylin was undressing in the living room. Her breath caught as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. His body looked even better without clothes. She felt herself blushing as he stripped off his jeans, wondering if he was going to take off his boxer briefs as well, but he slipped his drawstring pajama bottoms on over top of them. She didn't know whether she was relieved or disappointed.

She turned back towards the bathroom, but stopped. Would he try to peek at her and catch a glimpse of her undressing like she'd done with him Jess wondered? She stayed where she was and took her clothes off slowly, heart beating fast. But his head didn't turn even slightly. Again she didn't know whether she was relieved or disappointed.

She tossed and turned for over an hour, wondering if it was the caffeine that was keeping her from sleeping or the thought of Daylin's half naked body on the couch. Finally she sighed and sat up, wishing that she hadn't left her purse in the living room.

"Can't sleep huh?"

Either Daylin had super sensitive ears, or he'd been listening to her toss and turn Jess thought.

She swallowed hard and went out to the living room.

He was grinning. "Are you an insomniac or is it just tonight?"

"A little of both, I guess," she said, feeling uncomfortable.

He threw the blankets over the back of the couch and gestured for her to sit down.

She reached for a cigarette. He said "You smoke too much."

"I do it when I'm nervous." She turned away from him.

"And what's making you nervous Jess?" His voice was silky smooth, like he knew exactly what was making her nervous.

She tried to play it cool. "I don't know Daylin. It couldn't possibly be that I'm in a strange man's house."

He made a face. "You don't have to be nervous Jess. I'd never hurt you."

Yeah right, she thought. Like her father had never hurt her, like her stepfather had never hurt her.

"You don't know me Daylin."

"We could change that."

"No."

"Jess, give me a chance. What happened baby, that you won't let anyone care?"

She snorted. "Care Daylin? All you care about is getting down my pants."

"You're wrong Jess. My first instinct was to do everything I could to get you into my bed, but it changed. You're walking around with the weight of the world on your shoulders babe. I can tell. Take some of the load off. Talk to me."

She didn't want to talk to him. But she suddenly wanted very much to kiss him. She moved back, afraid of what she was feeling, what she knew Daylin wanted her to feel. She wanted to get into her car and drive away as fast as she could. But she knew once she was on the road there wouldn't be anything to stop the exhaustion from taking over, not to mention the fact that it really didn't make much sense to leave Welton at this point.

She shook her head, biting her lip. "I don't want to talk Daylin."

"What do you want baby? Tell me and I'll give it to you."

So charming she thought. Like he could give her what she wanted when she didn't really know.

"I have no idea what I want Daylin."

"Sure you do."

He reached out to intercept that hand that she'd used to put out her cigarette. He brushed his knuckles over the back of her hand and then moved up to her arm, opening his hand, sending shivers down her spine.

She almost jumped when his hand moved to her face. "What I want is you, right?"

"It would be nice." He chuckled. "But." He was suddenly serious. "If you want me to stop, I'll stop."

She wanted him to stop. She wanted him to keep going. She just wanted to be able to make up her own damned mind.

He took her silence for a yes and pulled his hand away.

"No," she said, her voice so low she could barely hear herself. She cleared her throat and went on. "You don't have to stop Daylin. Please don't stop."

"You are so beautiful Jess."

"Just shut up and kiss me before I change my mind."

And he kissed her. Kissed her like she'd never been kissed before. Her only high school boyfriend hadn't been very good at it and there hadn't been a man in her life since then. Her head was spinning. Her palms were sweaty. She wanted so much more that she was afraid of what she was going to let him do to her. What she suddenly oh so badly wanted him to do to her.

He pulled back and took her into his arms. She could feel her heart pounding. It felt so good to be held. It had been so long. It felt strangely right to have his strong arms around her.

Then she was crying. She had never been more embarrassed in her life, not even when her mom had walked in on her and Levi making out in the basement with his hand in her bra.

"Oh baby," Daylin murmured. "What's wrong?"

"You don't want to know."

"Darlin' you can talk to me."

"No, I . . ." She didn't want to talk. She wanted nothing more than to lead him back to his bedroom as she brushed the tears from her face. "Daylin will you um . . ." She swallowed hard. "Will you come back to your bed with me?"

"Are you sure Jess?" His voice was throaty. There was a slight catch in it like maybe he did want more from her than sex.

She nodded, biting her lip. She couldn't say anything more or she was going to lose her nerve.

He took her hand and led her back to his bedroom. Clothes were soon on the floor and then they were lying naked together on his bed. Even though he had a condom in hand, and she was practically panting, he said "One last time Jess. Are you sure?"

She wanted to laugh. She was sure, sure that her whole body felt like it was tingling. Sure that his naked form did things to her that she hadn't thought any man's body was capable of.

"Oh yeah," she said. "I'm sure."

He laughed softly. "I thought so."

And then he was inside her and she almost groaned because it had been seven years. Seven years since she'd been this close to anyone. He took it slow like she was breakable, and she wanted to tell him to move faster but she was too shy. But again it was like he was in her head because he started to move faster.

She bit his shoulder when she came. It was her first orgasm. She was embarrassed when she noticed she'd left marks. She'd also left nail marks on his back.

She turned away from him when he moved off of her and tossed the condom in the trash. It had been incredible, but two thoughts were circulating uncomfortably in her head. The first was that she wished they hadn't done that, and the second was that she wanted to do it again. She didn't know which disturbed her more.

She didn't like to think that she'd had her first one-night stand. But what more could it be? She had no idea how long she was going to be in town. Though if she didn't find what she was looking for, running away from Daylin would be as good an excuse as any to leave Welton.

"Jess." He cupped her face in his hands and made her look at him. "You don't regret it do you?"

She shook her head, biting her lip. "No. I just. . . Can we um, do that again?"

He laughed. "I think I can probably manage." His face softened then. He brushed her hair back from her face. "You are so beautiful."

"You're pretty damned beautiful yourself Daylin."

"That's a new one. I've been called a lot of things, but never beautiful."

"Men can be beautiful. Your body is like a work of art. You must work out."

"Not so much anymore. Or not like I used to. But you must get told that all the time huh? How gorgeous you are?"

"Uh yeah." She turned away from him again.

It had never mattered, because her beauty, her intelligence, hadn't kept her dad from leaving and hadn't kept her stepdad from doing what he'd done

"Jess." He kissed the top of her head. "Who hurt you? Tell me his name and his address. I'll kick his ass."

She laughed, but she felt like crying again. "It's not like that Daylin."

"Then what is it Jess? Tell me. You can tell me anything and I won't judge. I promise."

"Daylin."

"Yes love?"

He was driving her crazy with all his sweet words that she'd learned could all too often mean absolutely nothing. "Can we take a shower and go to bed?"

"Of course."

He took her hand and led her to the bathroom. The shower was almost more intimate than the sex. He washed her hair, her back, he washed her everywhere. He was so gentle she almost couldn't stand it.

When it was her turn, she took so long washing him that the water got cold. She couldn't get enough of the feel of his skin, his chest, his arms, and his back. He had a tiny tattoo of a rose right above his ass. It turned her on like she couldn't believe. She wanted to seduce him again after they got out of the shower but she was tired and Daylin was shivering from standing under the cold spray.

He dried her off before bothering with himself, and wrapped her in a bathrobe that was comically large on her. But it smelled so good, so like him, fresh and clean with a light hint of musky cologne that reminded her of her father that she kept it on until it got too hot in the bedroom.

He was still naked and driving her crazy, but before her hormones could take control of her again, she was asleep in his arms.

Chapter 3

She was disappointed when Daylin wasn't in bed the next morning but figured that it was probably better for both of them. She needed to get settled in, find a place and see if anyone knew anything about her father. She knew better than to hope that he'd gone back home after he'd left, but maybe someone was still in touch with him.

She stretched lazily and then it dawned on her that she was naked in a virtual stranger's bed. Granted, the stranger was gorgeous and had been an incredible lover, but some of the heat from last night had worn off. She was feeling silly about the whole thing, having been so swept up in the moment.

Yes, he had a gorgeous chest that she could spend hours running her hands over, running her fingers through the fine sheen of hair, his arms were divine, she loved the feel of the muscles underneath her hands, and when he was holding her, she felt safe. And his ass, she couldn't get started on his ass or she was going to walk naked out of the bedroom and find him and finish what she'd started in her head.

She groaned as she rolled over, disappointed that she'd let her thoughts run away from her again. She wasn't some sex crazed teenager Jess thought, she was a grown woman. A grown woman who was going to have to face herself in the mirror knowing that she'd had sex with Daylin and walked away.

She lit a cigarette and blew a smoke ring at the ceiling, wondering what Daylin was up to.

There was soft music coming from the direction of the living room, but nothing else. Had he left she wondered? Then she heard a loud bang from the kitchen and Daylin saying "Shit."

She laughed and leaned over to put out her cigarette. He came into the bedroom then and said "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

She felt the need to cover herself because his eyes were roaming her body again, but then she noticed he was shirtless and started to get a little distracted herself. She turned away, reaching for her bag, her clothes. If she didn't put something on, she had a feeling he was going to start taking things off.

He grinned like he'd read her mind again. "I thought you wanted to ravage me again."

Her face was on fire as she slipped her panties on and her hands were trembling as she fastened the clasp on her bra. "It would probably be better if we didn't."

His smiled faded. "You don't have to go so soon Jess. You could at least spend the weekend. The motels in this town are real dumps. And you never told me what brought you to town."

"I . . ." She didn't know how to continue. Should she lie or should she tell him the truth? "I've been looking for my father and haven't found anything. I thought that maybe someone here might know something since he grew up here."

"What are you going to do if you don't find anything? What are you going to do if you do?"

"If I find something, I guess I would go to him. Or at least call him. I think that after twenty-one years he owes the daughter that he abandoned some answers."

"Okay." He sat down on the bed next to her and put an arm around her. "And after that?"

"I don't know Daylin. What does it matter?"

"Because I care Jess."

"You care?"

"I do. You might not believe me because of what I told you and what Lucy said, but you make me want to take care of you."

"Oh."

"Does that bother you?"

"No one needs to take care of me Daylin. I've been taking care of myself for six years and I'm fine."

"But you're not Jess. You want more, you need more, but you're too scared to let yourself have it."

"You're wrong Daylin." She moved away from him.

"Am I?"

She nodded. "Of course you are."

"It wasn't just your father that hurt you was it? There was someone else. Some other guy. Who was it? A boyfriend? Or you said you had a stepdad. Was it him Jess? Was it your stepdad that hurt you so bad that you're afraid to let yourself feel?"

She closed her eyes. She knew what he was thinking her stepfather had done to her, but he had it all wrong. It was much more complicated than the disgusting thing that he was thinking.

"I'm right aren't I?" There was anger in his voice. "What did that bastard do to you?"

"It's not what you're thinking. Yes, my stepdad hurt me, but it wasn't that."

She made a face when she said the last word. The last thing her stepfather had had on his mind had been molesting her. Not that that was a bad thing of course, but what he had done wasn't much better.

"Did he hit you?" Some of the fire was gone from his voice, but he still sounded upset.

She shook her head again. "No. He never touched me Daylin."

"So what did he do?" He sounded puzzled, and she could understand his confusion. She still didn't understand what Ned had done after six years.

"He paid me to leave."

"He what?"

"I got back from some stupid graduation party and I found a note under my pillow telling me that I needed to leave. That I was grown, my mother had done her duty. That they were going to start a new family, with kids that were actually his. That I wasn't welcome anymore."

"You are kidding me Jess."

"Of course I am Daylin. That's why I haven't talked to my mother in six years."

"Oh baby, no. You are going to call your mother right now. What if she thinks you're dead?"

Jess shrugged, though it hurt to think about her mother. Did she think her daughter was dead, or had she wanted Jess to leave as much as Ned had? She couldn't face the answer.

"This is so not up for discussion Jess. You are going to call your mother right now."

She sighed. "I don't want to."

"Oh, sweetie." He took her back into his arms. "You're afraid that it was what she wanted too. And your dad leaving certainly didn't help either. Honey, your mother loves you. Every mother loves her child."

"No they don't. People do horrible things to their kids every day." She knew all about it. When she'd first left home she'd forced herself to read some of them to prove to herself that there were parents that were more messed up than hers.

"Yes darling they do. But your mother raised you for eighteen years. She must be worried sick about you. Waiting for a phone call, a story on the news that you're never coming home."

"I'm not going home. Ever. I took Ned's money. That was the deal. I take his check and he's rid of me. They're rid of me. Fair is fair right?"

"None of this is fair Jess. I'm going to bring you my phone. You are going to call your mother."

"And if I refuse?"

"Then I'll call her myself."

"No you won't."

"You wanna bet?"

"No. Daylin I don't want to call her."

"There's nothing to be afraid of. Worse comes to worst, she tells you that you're right and that she wanted you gone too. So you go on with your life. We are about so much more than where we came from baby. I can see how wonderful you are and I've known you less than twelve hours. Your mother must have seen that in eighteen years."

She wanted to crawl into his lap and cry. She wanted to push him back onto the bed and seduce him so that he'd shut up about her mother. She wanted him to make the whole world go away. She knew he could, she could see in his eyes that he would make it all go away for her.

But he was not going to give up until she called her mother. She could see that in his eyes too.

He gave her a kiss that made her head spin and then left the room. She glanced toward the window, wondering if she could crawl out by the time he got back. But he was back at her side in an instant, holding out the cell phone that she'd seen him with at the diner the night before.

She took it from his hand, wanting to throw it across the room. But he'd be pissed if she broke it since it looked expensive. And he'd probably drag her out to a pay phone if he had to.

He took both of her hands in his and knelt in front of her. "You want me to leave you alone?"

She shook her head. "Will you hold me Daylin?"

He pulled her back against his chest, leaning against the headboard. "Go on babe. She's been waiting for six years."

"I think she can wait another five minutes," she muttered, but she took a deep breath and dialed the phone.

It rang three times before her mother picked up. She almost dropped the phone, tears stinging her eyes.

"Hello," her mother said. The voice that had sang lullabies to her, the voice that had told her how proud she was at her graduation party. "Hello," her mother repeated. "Is anyone there?"

"Mom." But it came it out as little more than a whisper. She cleared her throat and said it again. "Mom."

"Jessica?"

"Yes Mom."

"Jessica Lynn Brewster where in the hell have you been? I raised you better than to let your mother think you were dead for six years didn't I?"

A weight was lifted off of her chest. She felt Daylin tense behind her, but she shook her head and snuggled more comfortably into his arms. "Yeah Mom. I guess you did."

"Baby are you okay? I've been so worried about you. We've been so worried about you. Me, Ned, your grandparents. Grandpa and Grandma aren't doing very well these days you know. No, I guess you wouldn't know would you?"

"No Mom."

"Where are you honey? Are you coming home? Can you come home? I would like to see you so much. My baby who's now a grown woman."

"I'm looking for Dad."

"He's dead baby."

"What?"

"He's been gone three years now. I wanted to tell you but no one could find you. Your stepmother has been trying to get a hold of you too. But she never had any better luck than I did."

"My. . . Stepmother? Since when do I have a stepmother?"

"Since about eighteen years ago. Hold on a second Jess, please."

Her mother moved the phone away. She could hear her talking to someone in the background. Her heart beat faster at first, thinking that she was talking to Ned, but it was obviously someone else.

"Sienna Jane, give your brother back his car. Page; give your sister back her doll. With the head dear, with the head. Can you two please behave for just a minute while Mommy's on the phone? It's your big sister. If you be good for Mommy for a few more minutes we'll go to the park after lunch okay?"

Big sister she thought? First she had a stepmother, now she had a brother and a sister. So Ned had gotten his wish after all. All for $10,000 to his stepdaughter to make her leave. Ten thousand dollars that she had a sneaking suspicion had been what her mother had put away for her college fund.

Her mother came back to the phone then. "Sorry about that. They can't seem to behave for more than a few minutes at a time when their dad's not around. Of course you were the same way when you were young."

"I was?"

"Yes dear. You might not remember since you were so young when he went back to Selana, but you were such a daddy's girl."

She did remember part of it. She remembered sitting on her father's lap in his easy chair. Snuggling into his arms, the scent of cigarette smoke and his cologne. That was why she'd started smoking. The reason why the smell of cigarette smoke was a strange comfort to her.

"What do you mean he went back to Selana?"

Her mother sighed. "It's a long story sweetheart. She could probably tell you much better than I can. But the long and short of it is that they were childhood sweethearts. Both their parents were old fashioned and thought they were much too serious when they were that young. Selana ended up pregnant when they were barely sixteen. Your grandparents moved your father halfway across the country to keep him away from her. It took him four years into our marriage until it was too much for him and he went back for her."

"So I have an older half brother or sister?"

"No, she lost the first baby. You have my Page, he's five and Sienna, she's about to turn four. She looks just like you Jess. It's almost uncanny. Of course she has her father's eyes and you have yours. But other than that she's the picture of you when you were her age. Do you remember that blue dress? I found one almost like it. If you put the pictures beside each other you can hardly tell who is who."

She'd hated that blue dress, but had never been able to tell her mother because she was afraid of hurting her feelings.

"So does Dad or did Dad have any other kids? How did he die?"

"He has a son, Craig Junior, he's seventeen, and Chelsea is fifteen I believe. She looks a lot like you too. Only the resemblance is even stronger because she has your father's eyes too. Though I can see how that would be because I bear a rather strong resemblance to Selana. I guess that's why he chose me."

"Okay, that's a little weird Mom, but did you say Craig Junior? How could he be Craig Junior when my dad was named Forrest? Did Dad change his name?" That could explain why she hadn't been able to find him or at least part of it anyway Jess thought.

"Your father actually changed his name back to his birth name. Forrest Brewster was the name his parents gave him when they took him away. He was born Craig Sheffield."

"Oh."

"Your grandparents were adamant about him not having anything to do with Selana. He died of a heart attack. He always took on so much stress and he never could quit smoking."

Jess felt a little guilty that she'd taken up his habit. "So I get that he went back to her. But why didn't he want to see me?"

"He sent cards, letters. I didn't think you could handle it. I was going to tell you before you left for school. But you walked away and never came back, never called. Ned paid for your cell phone for almost a year after you left."

Sure he had, Jess thought. Though her mother had gone to accounting school after her father had left, Ned had always taken care of the bills, the checking account. It made her wonder how long he'd been planning to get her out of the picture. She'd tossed the cell phone in a dumpster about an hour away from home the morning that she'd left.

"You never told me that my father wrote me letters? Did he want to see me?"

"Jess, I'm sorry. Maybe I didn't make the right choice. But I never imagined that you wouldn't have a second chance with your father."

"Yeah." She was so pissed that her mother hadn't told her it almost made up for the worry her mother must have felt at not knowing where she was all these years.

"Selana needs to get a hold of you. Your father left you some money in his will for college. Or by now you could use it to get a new car. Or put a down payment on a house."

"Yeah, sure. How much?"

Not that she really cared, but she was curious.

"It's about thirty-five thousand now with interest I believe. Selana can give you the exact numbers."

"Thirty-five thousand dollars?"

"Yes. He felt terrible about walking away from you."

"Uh huh."

"He did. He never stopped loving you baby. Do you think you could make it up to your grandparents next summer? Grandpa's not doing well. He's almost blind now because of his diabetes. Grandma is going to be lost without him. I don't know how much time either of them has left."

"I'll try to make it up. Will Ned be going with you?"

"No, he has to work. Why?"

"No reason." Not one that she could explain anyway.

"Do you have a number where I could call you? I'd like to keep in touch."

"No phone, no. I have an e-mail address."

"Is it still the same? I can send you pictures, the information to get a hold of Selana."

"No, I changed it a while back." She'd been dumb enough to let too much information out on a social network and some creep had been bothering her for months. She gave her mom her new e-mail address.

"Honey?"

"Yes Mom?"

"I don't mean to sound ungrateful to hear from you because I'm certainly not, but why are you calling now after all this time? Are you getting married? Are you pregnant?"

"No Mom. I'm not pregnant or getting married anytime soon. I met someone that was stubborn enough to make me call you."

Daylin chuckled.

"Well, thank them for me will you?"

"Yeah."

"I need to let you go hon. The kids are about to go stir crazy. I love you. You know you can always call me if you need anything right? I'll try to get that e-mail to you later this afternoon after Ned gets home from his golf game."

"Okay. I love you too Mom. Could you do me a really big favor? Not tell Ned that I called."

"Why honey? He's been as worried about you as I've been."

Sure he had been she thought. "It's a long story Mom. Please do this for me."

"Jess is there something that you need to tell me?"

"No Mom."

"Are you sure honey?"

She knew what was running through her mother's mind must be along the lines of what Daylin had originally thought, but it would harm her mother more than help her now if she told her the reason she'd really left. Ned's kids weren't in any danger of being thrown out when they turned eighteen because they were his kids.

"Yes Mom. I'm sure. Give the kids, I mean my brother and sister, a hug and a kiss for me. I'll talk to you soon okay?"

Maybe when Ned was at work. She wasn't sure how long her mom could keep it from him that she'd called though.

"Okay honey. I'll talk to you later. Call Selana soon please."

"Yes Mom. I love you. Bye."

"Love you too, honey. Bye."

She hung up the phone and fought the urge to throw it against the wall. She was highly upset at her mother. But it had been so good to hear her voice.

She turned to Daylin and almost immediately started crying. It was too much. He held her while she cried. Stroking her hair, her back. Much as her mother had done when she was a child.

When she was finally done she looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. "I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize darlin'. You wanna talk about it?"

"Not right now. Hey, weren't you supposed to take Cameron and Lucy to lunch?"

"Shit. I'm cooking because those two get real expensive real quick, especially Lucy. Thanks for reminding me. I need to get started. They're going to be here anytime."

She followed him out to the living room where he deposited her on the couch though she'd offered to help him fix lunch.

He'd finished making lunch and Lucy and Cameron still hadn't shown up. He joined her on the couch. A brief kiss turned into a major make out session with her perched on his lap when the door burst open half an hour later.

She jumped back from Daylin, face on fire as Cameron grinned at her. "Nice to see you Jess."

"Don't you knock Cameron?" Daylin said.

Cameron grinned again. "We're family. Who needs to knock? Besides, you were expecting us."

"Yeah, like an hour ago," Daylin said.

"I'm starving," Lucy suddenly cut in.

"Go, help yourselves," Daylin said.

Jess had been wondering how she was going to manage to refasten her bra, when Daylin reached behind her and fastened it for her. He kissed her again, and though it was brief Cameron said from the kitchen "Get a room."

"We have a perfectly good one that we plan on making good use of as soon as you leave Cam." Daylin grinned.

"Do we?" Jess said.

"Yeah," Daylin murmured suggestively into her ear. "I think we do."

She smacked him in the butt on the way to the kitchen. He laughed.

"I hope you like burritos."

"Sure."

Once her plate was finished she sat down at the table. Daylin was still standing at the microwave, warming up his burrito. Cameron said "So, he convinced you to stay for a while then, huh Jess?"

"Not exactly."

"I think you should at least stay for the weekend," Daylin said. "It's not that easy to find a place over the weekend."

"Then I'll stay in a motel." She wouldn't look at him as he sat down next to her.

"Jess," he started.

She didn't want to discuss this in front of Lucy and Cameron. She really didn't want to discuss it at all. "So when are you two getting married?" she asked Lucy.

"Um," Cameron said.

"He won't let me set a date." Lucy gave Cameron a dirty look as she helped herself to handful of tortilla chips from the bowl in the middle of the table.

"Baby, we gotta have money for a wedding, for a honeymoon, for a house."

"I told you I didn't need anything fancy," Lucy said.

Daylin snorted. "Right. Ya'll are going to be in debt until you're a hundred paying for your not fancy wedding."

"Shut up Daylin," Lucy said. "Nobody asked you."

"Cameron did when he asked me to loan him the money for that ring on your finger."

"Daylin," Cameron said.

"Oops," Daylin said. "Wasn't I supposed to tell her?"

Cameron gave him a dirty look and kicked him under the table. "Asshole."

"That's me." Daylin gave Jess a look.

"If we win a lot of money tonight babe, will you let me set a date?" Lucy said.

"Sure." Cameron gave her a weak smile.

Daylin raised an eyebrow. "The odds on that one sound great."

"No negative energy Daylin. This is going to be the second luckiest day of my life. I can feel it. The first of course was when I finally convinced Lucy to go out with me."

Lucy leaned over and gave Cameron a kiss. "You're so sweet baby."

Daylin rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't think he was so sweet if you heard the things he used to say about you before you said yes to him."

"Daylin what the hell is your problem?" Cameron said.

Daylin sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just that I met a woman who should be a part of my life and all she wants to do is run away from me."

All eyes turned to Jess. She wanted to hide under the table.

Cameron cleared his throat. "Do you two want to come to the casino with us?"

"I think we'll pass," Daylin said. "I wouldn't want to spoil your good vibes."

"I guess we'd better get going then." Cameron sounded uncomfortable.

"Good luck," Daylin said.

"Thanks." He held out his hand to Lucy and helped her up from the table.

"It was nice meeting you Jess. Hopefully we'll see you again sometime." Lucy said.

There was something in her eyes, something that passed between her and Daylin that was different from the secretive look that they'd shared the night before. It was like she meant what she said. Jess did not understand these people at all.

Daylin followed Cameron and Lucy to the door, coming back to the kitchen after they were gone. She was standing at the sink, rinsing off the plates.

"You don't need to do that," he said.

"I should do something. You let me stay here for nothing. You wouldn't let me help you with lunch."

"You gave me a lot more than nothing Jess."

She wanted to scream. She wanted to tell him to stop trying to make her feel something she couldn't feel.

"Yeah. Do you think I could use your computer? My mom was supposed to send me some pictures and things."

"Sure."

She followed him to the living room. He opened the laptop and turned it on, signing onto his internet connection. He pushed it over towards her. She started to type in the address of her e-mail provider. She had to laugh when the browser thought she wanted to go to a porn site.

"What? Oh. Sorry. My mom told me I was disgusting when she borrowed my computer when she was first diagnosed with cancer."

"Your mom has cancer?" she said as she signed into her e-mail account.

"Yeah. She's dying. My dad has taken it almost as bad as she has. I don't know what he's going to do without her. But do they listen to me when I try to help her? No, they call me a druggie when I haven't done the shit since college."

"What shit?"

She was scrolling through her e-mail, beginning to think her mother had forgotten to send the pictures or hadn't had time to send them. Then she noticed a message from 'momof3mssnJess' and realized that her mother had changed her e-mail address. She felt a little pang, and turned to Daylin, wondering how someone could go through so much pain. He made her troubles sound almost petty.

"Marijuana. It could help her with the pain at least. I gave her about a hundred articles but neither of them will listen."

"That's sad."

"Yeah." He looked away.

She lit a cigarette and opened the e-mail. The text just gave her grandparents address and phone number which she already knew since it hadn't changed since she was young, and her stepmother's physical and e-mail addresses and phone number. The rest was pictures. The address for Selana told her that her father hadn't gone back to the town he'd grown up in. There wasn't much point in staying here now, but she wasn't going to tell Daylin that. She figured that it would be easier for both of them if she slipped off into the night. She figured it wouldn't take Daylin long to forget about her. She was beginning to wonder how long it would take her to forget about him though.

The first picture was a scanned copy of her father's funeral announcement. She had to swallow over the lump that rose in her throat. It cemented that he was really gone.

There were pictures of her mother and the kids, family pictures with Ned, birthdays, school pictures. She smiled a little at the side by side pictures of her in the blue dress and Sienna in hers. Her sister. It still felt strange to think of herself as a big sister.

"She looks a lot like you," Daylin said softly, squeezing her hand.

"Yeah."

Further down were pictures of her father and his family. The first looked like it had been taken about ten years ago. The boy looked about six or seven and the girl about four or five. The woman was beautiful and did bear quite a resemblance to Jess's mother, though Selana was shorter. Her eyes were brown instead of blue, and she had a noticeably larger chest than Jess's mother. There were more school pictures. Jess saw that her half-brother looked a lot like their father. Chelsea looked a lot like she had when she was younger.

Daylin noticed the resemblance too. "It's almost uncanny. Of course I guess you can see why. Your mom and your stepmom look a lot alike too."

"Yeah." When she was done with the pictures she signed out of her e-mail and sat back on the couch. "He's really gone. I mean, I knew he was gone because my mother had no reason to lie, but. . . I'll never see my father again Daylin. He had teenage kids, a wife that he married eighteen years ago. And my mom never told me anything. My mom has kids. It's all too much."

"Let me help you deal with this."

"You've got enough to deal with Daylin. You're still trying to deal with losing Amanda. Your mother is dying, and you're trying to help Cameron help Lucy. I think that's more than enough."

"You're wrong love. There's never too much to bear when you have someone to help you with the pain."

"Sure."

"Look Jess. You found what you were looking for. You found your father, and I know that it wasn't what you wanted to hear. But there's no reason you can't stay with me. You have the information to contact your stepmom. I'm sure she'll tell you how bad he must have felt about leaving you. You can get a little peace babe, and then you can start to move on with your life. Yes, your stepdad was a stupid asshole who never should have married a woman that had a child. Yes, your parents both made mistakes. But you don't have to pay for it anymore. If you will let me in, just a little, I think that you could want me too."

"Daylin."

"Yes?"

"I do want you, and that's the whole problem. I just met you. I can't want you like this. I can't feel like this."

"What you're feeling is right Jess."

"No. It's not."

He sighed. "There's nothing that I can say to you that will convince you otherwise is there?"

She shook her head, feeling like she was going to cry again.

"Will you at least stay with me this weekend? I can take Monday off, help you find a place and get your stuff moved in."

"Everything I own is in the trunk of my car Daylin."

"You don't have furniture?"

"I've been moving around since I was eighteen, remember? I never stayed anywhere too long. I always got a furnished place, or got stuff that was cheap but still good and left it behind for the next person."

"You could teach Lucy a thing or two about the need for material possessions." She could see that he was trying to break the somber mood.

"Sure." But she hoped to never see Lucy again.

"Stay with me please? It's two days. I promise you that if you tell me you never want to see me again after you leave, I'll leave you alone."

"With what's happened in the last less than twenty-four hours Daylin, I don't think it's a good idea."

"You're afraid that if you stay with me you won't want to go aren't you?"

"No." She didn't know who she was trying to convince more, herself or him.

Rain had started to fall. It was beating softly on the roof.

"Jess. Look at me please."

She didn't want to look at him. She didn't want to see what she knew was in his eyes. How could such a playboy who had lost the only woman that he'd ever loved, care so much in such a short time Jess wondered? How could she care? She couldn't. She wouldn't let herself.

He took her face in his hands and forced her to look at him.

"Daylin. Please stop. You're going to get hurt."

He shook his head. "It's not me you're worried about. Believe me Jess, I don't blame you. You're worried about you. You think that I'm going to walk away like every other man in your life has."

"My Dad was the only one that walked away. Ned made me walk away."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the rain. She was trying to figure out a way to get him to let her leave when he said "Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever made love in the rain?"

"No. I had sex twice in my life before you Daylin."

"Oh. Do you think you'd want to?"

"Uh."

"We don't have to. It was just an idea."

"Have you ever made love in the rain Daylin?"

"No."

"Do you have a fence in your backyard?"

"Yeah." His face was starting to brighten again. "And a couch."

"Why do you have a couch in your backyard? Never mind, I don't think I want to know." It would certainly be an experience she thought. "Let's do it before I chicken out."

"I'll be right back." His shirt was off before she knew it and he was headed to the bedroom.

"Daylin this probably sounds stupid, but do you think we could skip the condom?"

"If you want to. If you're sure."

"Yeah." She knew she was being absolutely stupid because she hadn't been on birth control for years, but she wanted to feel him, every bit of him, as fully as possible.

He kissed her, reaching around to undo her bra. He had shed his jeans and his underwear before she had finished getting her shirt off. "Excited are we?"

"A little." He helped her out of the rest of her clothes.

The rain had started to fall harder. She was about to lose her nerve when he took her hand and pulled her towards the back door.

When they got outside he started to pull her towards a battered leather couch, but she wanted to stand there for a minute. He had a high fence and it felt incredible to feel the rain on her naked body. He grinned at her and then took her hand again, pressing her gently back onto the couch.

The whole thing was incredible. She couldn't think of words to describe it when they'd finished. The feeling of Daylin's slippery body atop hers, running her hands over his body. It was even better than it had been in the shower. And it was like he knew exactly what she wanted before she could even think of it. Their bodies were in tune like they had been lovers for years instead of hours. She never wanted it to end.

The rain had slowed again when he helped her up from the couch, a satisfied grin on his face. He smacked her butt when she went ahead of him to the back door. She said "Hey."

"You had mud on your butt."

"Yeah, right."

They took a long shower together and were sitting on the couch fully dressed when she decided it was time to bring up her leaving. She didn't want to spoil the mood, but she had a feeling that what he had said earlier had been right. The longer she stayed, the stronger the ties between them were going to get. It sounded crazy to her, even in her head, but she knew it was true. And it wasn't just the incredible sex, though she could imagine herself quite happily having sex with Daylin on a regular basis. It was the way he looked at her. The way that he seemed to really care how she felt.

"Daylin."

"Yes?"

"We need to talk about me leaving."

"You don't have to leave. You can stay here. There's nothing holding you back anymore Jess. You don't even have to look for a job right away. I have plenty of money in savings and it's not like I can't afford to feed another person."

"It's not about money Daylin. I have money. I live very cheaply and I always make sure that I have enough money for a couple months' rent and deposit in case I can't find a job right away. And I have $35,000 that I knew nothing about."

"Okay." She could see that the mention of the money meant nothing to him. "So what's the problem?"

"I can't stay with you."

"Why not? I want you to. You don't know how bad I want you to."

"I haven't lived with anyone since I lived with my mother and Ned for one thing. For another thing, we barely know each other."

"You told me things about yourself today that you've never told anybody. Am I right?"

"Yes." She sighed.

"And as much as I'd like to sometimes, I don't go around and tell everyone about Amanda. We know enough."

"I can't Daylin. I'm too independent. I can't let you take care of me."

"You're too stubborn is what you are."

"My mother would probably agree with you on that one."

"Will you at least think about staying in town for a while? It's not too far from your stepmom and your brother and sister. You don't have to stay with me, but Welton really isn't a bad town. Lucy likes you."

"Yeah, maybe."

But she figured that as long as she was in Welton, she would want to be with Daylin. She felt so up in the air right now and she wasn't sure that she wanted anything to anchor her, especially an admitted player who she had had sex with on the night she had met him.

"Good. What do you want for dinner? I don't feel like cooking. You want to go out or order something?"

"I don't want to go anywhere."

The last thing she wanted was to be seen around town with Daylin. She didn't want to be seen as what Lucy had called his flavor of the week.

"Do you prefer pizza or Chinese?"

She didn't get a chance to answer because his phone chimed a text message. "Just a sec darlin'."

He looked at the screen and said "Damn."

"What?"

He laughed. "They did hit it big. $35,000 seems to be a magic number all of a sudden."

"They won $35,000? Wow. Good for them. Are you going to let him marry her?"

He looked thoughtful as he typed out a reply and didn't answer until his phone chimed again. "I guess I'm going to have to. His Mom would kill us both if I didn't."

"Kill you for what?"

"I guess it was more than the booze and the greasy food that made Lucy sick last night. Cam had to pull over about fifteen minutes after they left here because she got sick again. She sure does pick strange times to get morning sickness though."

"Morning sickness? Lucy's pregnant?"

"Yeah, I guess she forgot to take her birth control pills or something. Knowing Lucy, she probably did it on purpose so she could make sure that Cameron married her sooner rather than later. Wait, what am I saying? Lucy would not get pregnant on purpose. That would mean she'd have to quit drinking and smoking."

"Wow. They can really use the money then."

"Yeah. A wedding, a baby. They can most definitely use the money. I hope Lucy doesn't lose it all before he drags her out of there."

"Lose $35,000?"

He laughed. "You've never been to a casino have you? You can walk in with a dollar and out with a million. Or you can walk in with a million and out with a dollar. Not a good place for someone with an addictive personality."

"Yeah, I guess not. Tell them I said congratulations would you?"

"Sure. You gonna be my date for the wedding? I mean, if you've decided you can still put up with me by then?"

"I guess."

"Don't tell me you've never been to a wedding before?"

"Well, my Mom's of course. The second one anyway. But having left home at eighteen, not having any close friends, that's the only one I've been to."

"What a sheltered girl you are."

"Funny Daylin. You said something about food didn't you?"

"Yeah, what do you want? The pizza place also has other stuff like calzones, pasta, and salad. Let me dig out a couple of menus for you and you can decide okay?"

He dug around in his desk and came out with two tattered take out menus.

She decided Italian sounded better and told him she wanted a salad with ranch dressing, a small order of lasagna and a piece of cheesecake for dessert.

He teased her about her eating habits, but admitted that he liked it a lot better than being with a woman who was too embarrassed to take more than a few bites in front of him.

He placed their order. They were sitting together watching TV on the couch, his head in her lap when he looked up at her and said "Jess?"

"Yeah?"

She was afraid of what he was going to say. She'd almost been able to relax thinking that telling him she might go to the wedding with him would put him off at least for a while. She felt like she needed some time to think about what she was going to do with her life with a clear head. She hadn't felt clear headed since she'd met Daylin.

"I really do want you to be a part of my life."

"I know, Daylin."

"Okay," he said, and then went back to watching TV.

That was a relief, she thought. They were quiet until the doorbell rang.

He got up and answered it. A pretty young woman who looked about their age was standing on the door step holding several Styrofoam containers.

"How ya doin' baby?" The woman said.

Daylin stiffened. "I'm fine Kateisha. How are you? How's Ozzy?"

"He's okay. He misses you. How come you don't come around anymore Daylin?"

"I told you Kat."

"It still doesn't make sense to me Daylin," Kateisha said and muttered something under her breath that to Jess sounded like 'baby daddy'.

"I'm sorry, but you know that what you're doing is only making it harder on Ozzy."

"Yeah right, Daylin. You not comin' around is what's harder on him." She noticed Jess then. Her face changed. "Oh. I figured you were feeding Cam and his crazy girlfriend, not another cheap slut."

Jess could see that Daylin almost shut the door in her face then but she still held their food in her hands. "Okay Kateisha. You've said enough."

"It's true Daylin." She gave Jess a bright smile. "It was me two years ago, it was me two weeks ago and now it's her. When's it gonna end Daylin? When are you gonna stand up and act like a real man?"

Daylin took a deep breath and then let it out. Jess could see that he was trying to hold his temper and it wasn't working. She got up and took the food from Kateisha's hands, taking it out to the kitchen so the angry woman wouldn't have to see her anymore. Why did the delivery person have to be someone Daylin had slept with she thought? It was a good thing she wasn't staying long. She had a bad feeling Kateisha wasn't the only one who felt like they'd been betrayed by him.

Daylin pulled out his wallet and shoved some bills into Kateisha's hand without looking at them. "Keep the change Kat," he said. "Buy Ozzy something nice."

Then he shut the door in her face. Jess could hear a car squeal its tires and wondered what had gone on between Daylin and Kateisha.

He came into the kitchen and started pulling plates out of the cupboard. He dug out silverware and sat down next to Jess. "I am so sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"If I had known Kateisha was working tonight I would have ordered someplace else I swear."

"Did she say something about baby daddy?"

Daylin sighed. "I'm sure she did. It's frustrating. Sometimes I wish the kid was mine. It would make everything so much easier."

"So, she has a son and he's not yours, but she wants him to be yours? Or she for some reason thinks he's yours or what?"

"I think she wanted him to be mine so much that she told herself that there was a chance that he was. Or maybe she thought I wouldn't remember when we'd been together. I don't know. He is the most adorable kid, so smart, so sweet. I really wouldn't mind if he was mine. But he's not. There's no way in hell he's mine. I was with her damned near six months before she would have gotten pregnant, a couple times after she was already pregnant. And yes, smart guy that I am, about two weeks ago."

"Why don't you get a DNA test and prove her wrong?"

"I wanted to. We had one scheduled, but she backed out. It didn't bother me at first because she needed help with him. Her babysitters tend to be a little flaky and she needed somebody to watch him. He's a good kid and we had fun. Until she told him I was his dad."

"She told her child that you were his father? How old is he?"

"He's almost two now. It tears me up not to see him. If I had any kind of real feelings for Kateisha I'd pretend I was his dad in a heartbeat."

"Wow." Then it dawned on her that if Amanda had lived he'd have a child now. "How old are you Daylin?"

"Twenty-five. You're twenty-four?"

"Yeah." He would have a six-year-old child and she wouldn't be sitting here, because nothing but death could have torn him and Amanda apart.

"You okay?" He reached across the table and squeezed her hand.

"Yeah, I was just thinking."

"I think about it all the time Jess. A son or a daughter. They'd be in school by now. Hell, it could have been twins. Her mom has two sets."

The way he seemed to read her mind was driving her crazy.

"Wow."

"Yeah, she was the oldest of seven kids. I wonder about them sometimes. How they're doing with their mother. Wonder if that piece of shit stepdad of theirs is still around. I tried to keep in touch with them, but it was hard. If I can find them though, I made sure I put away enough money so that they could all at least get a start in college. Or at least at something beyond that hell house."

"You put away money for college for six kids?"

He shrugged, like it was nothing. "I was very lucky. I got a good job straight out of college. I have stock in the company and I've invested well. Cameron doesn't need to pay me back for the ring. A couple grand doesn't mean shit. I don't have to live in this house. I do it because money doesn't mean a damn thing to me."

She nodded, biting her lip. She felt the same way, didn't care if she ever owned a house. Her car was ten years old and it still ran perfectly well so she didn't plan on buying a new one anytime soon. But it seemed like so much for Daylin to have put away what had to be a great deal of money. He was so much more than the fickle ladies' man that everyone seemed to think he was.

"What?" he said. "You're looking at me funny."

"No, I'm not." She looked down at her plate, taking the last bite of her cheesecake. She was stuffed, not used to such a meal. She ate a lot of noodles and sandwiches.

"Yes you were. Don't think I'm some kind of hero, Jess, because I'm not. I'm just a guy who can never seem to get his head on straight."

"You seem pretty together to me."

"I'm not. I'm addicted to sex, because sometimes I'm lucky, and it dulls the pain for a while. But most of the time, Jess, I don't want to feel any more than you do."

"Huh."

"What?"

"You seem willing to feel way too much for me for someone who doesn't want to feel."

"Because in this crazy life babe, in what can sometimes be a painful and unforgiving world, you're lucky if you get one chance at what I had with Amanda, let alone two."

Such pretty words, she thought. Even Levi at his best when he was trying his hardest to talk her into sleeping with him hadn't said anything even halfway like any of what Daylin had said to her, and Daylin had already gotten down her pants. Could he possibly be for real? Could she take the step off of the cliff that she was considering taking? She knew he'd be there to catch her when she fell.

"Daylin." Her voice was throaty because there was so much emotion pent up behind it and she didn't know where to put any of it. So, she did what she thought was safest at the time and said "Take me to bed."

He grinned, a slow, lazy, satisfied grin. "I thought you'd never ask."

Chapter 4

They made love twice before she fell asleep. She woke up a little after two a..m craving a cigarette. She slipped out of bed and out to the living room and had lit her cigarette when Daylin called out "Baby?"

"Yeah?" All his babies, and darlings and loves were getting easier to hear.

"Will you bring me a glass of water when you come back to bed please?"

"Yes."

"Thanks."

She put out her cigarette and ran a glass of water from the kitchen tap for Daylin.

Back in the bedroom, she handed it to him. He said "Thanks."

"You're welcome." She didn't want to admit to Daylin that she was planning her escape from not only him but Welton. She had already let him get too close to her.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." He gave her another heart stopping kiss and then pulled her back against his chest. She was soon asleep again.

The next morning they were both naked and in what had become a rather involved session of foreplay when his bedroom door burst open.

Daylin moved in front of her and said "Seriously Cameron, you have got to learn to knock."

Cameron grinned while Jess hurriedly covered herself with the sheet. "Turnabout is fair play bro. How many times have you walked in on me and Lucy?"

"I don't want to count. Where is she?"

"She is with her mother, and my mother, planning a wedding."

"Damn, she works quick."

"When we told them she was pregnant the first thing out of both of their mouths was when were we getting married. I figured I could safely sneak away and leave the woman shit to the women. Nice to see you Jess."

"Yeah, you too." She felt like she was still blushing.

"So did you walk away with the whole load last night or did Lucy give some back?" Daylin said.

"She gave some back, but we ended up walking away with $40,000. Now maybe I won't have to be in debt to you for the rest of my life."

"Congratulations man, all around." Daylin looked uncomfortable. Jess wondered what Daylin had offered to loan Cameron other than the money for Lucy's engagement ring. "But you said $40,000. I thought you hit $35,000."

Cameron looked sheepish. "We were up to almost fifty. I made the mistake of leaving her alone at the table while I checked out this new machine. Before I knew it she was down almost ten grand."

"Damn," Daylin said. "That sucks."

"It's still a nice chunk of change. Hey, do you think you could help me put some in the market? See if we can make it grow?"

"Maybe. You want breakfast Cam?"

"Why do you think I came here? My mom and future mother in law were too busy fawning over my pregnant fiancé to notice I was there."

Daylin laughed. "Go start the coffee. Let me and Jess put some clothes on."

"Sure." He winked at Jess.

She felt her face get hot again. Daylin chuckled as Cameron shut the door.

"How it is funny when you two walk in on each other-you know?"

Daylin laughed harder. "I guess you'd have to be a guy to get it."

"Sometimes I'm really glad I'm not."

He laughed again and gave her a quick kiss. "I'll see you in the kitchen."

She used the restroom, washed her hands and face and brushed her teeth, then she sat on the couch and smoked a cigarette before she joined the men in the kitchen.

"You can tell a dedicated smoker by how long it is in the morning after they wake up that they have their first cigarette," Cameron said, sipping from a cup of coffee. Daylin was standing by the stove, flipping pancakes. "How long do you last Jess? Five minutes, ten? I think Lucy's record was fifteen, but that was only because she had a bad hangover."

"She was kinda distracted this morning. I think it was about forty-five minutes." Daylin gave him a cocky smile.

Jess felt herself blushing again.

"You really are talented. Nothing can distract Lucy from that first cigarette. Well, until today anyway, and then it was the threat of my mom kicking her butt if she didn't quit that stopped her."

"Your mom is pretty scary."

"My mom's a sweetheart. Your mom's the scary one."

"Yeah." Everyone was quiet for a minute, then Daylin said "You want strawberry or blueberry pancakes Jess?"

"Either is fine."

"Cameron has to have both. I swear you will never meet another twenty-five-year-old man that is such a child."

"Shut the hell up Daylin," Cameron said.

"Language man. You're gonna be a daddy."

"Yeah. I am."

Daylin laughed. "You're scared shitless aren't you?"

"No. Yeah. It's not the cigarettes I'm worried about. She knows she can't hide that because I'll smell it. It's the alcohol. I'm afraid she'll think she can cover it up with mouthwash or something."

Daylin put a plate in front of Cameron. "You know that I'll do anything I can to make sure your baby is born healthy. Whatever you need, whatever she needs, it's there. No questions asked."

"I know Daylin. It's not the help not being there that I'm worried about. It's her hiding it, being too stubborn to admit that she needs it."

"Her mom drank for six months when she was pregnant with her. It was a hell of a lucky thing that she was born healthy. Do you think she'll do that to your child?"

"She won't mean to. I know that even if she never wanted to say it, Lucy has wanted a baby for a while now, but she was afraid that she couldn't stop. And what if she can't? I was a dumbass last night, not thinking. I had a beer to celebrate. She was practically drooling."

"It ain't gonna be easy but she'll do it. Lucy worships the ground that you walk on. Now that she's finally getting you to marry her, there's nothing in the world that will stop her from making it happen."

"Who worships who?" Cameron laughed. "I know you're right, but it's gonna be there you know, hanging over her head."

"Cam, we will get through this together. I promise. Though Lucy may like me even less by the time it's over."

Cameron smiled. "You know she loves you Daylin."

"Sure she does."

Cameron gave Jess a bright smile. "Seems like you're in a better mood today Jess. Is my cousin getting to you?"

She didn't look at Daylin when he put the plate in front of her. She knew the cocky grin would be back on his face. "Not at all."

"She's cold." Cameron laughed.

"She must have learned from Lucy." Daylin turned back to the stove.

"Oh, Lucy's plenty warm."

"You two are disgusting."

"We're just men darlin'," Daylin said.

"Better get used to it Jess," Cameron said. Then he turned back to Daylin. "So you really think it's gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, Lucy loves you. It ain't gonna be easy but it's gonna be okay. Has she convinced you to go house hunting?"

Cameron sighed. "My mom is dragging us out first thing Monday. She has a friend that's a real estate agent. She called her first thing after she got done telling the whole world that Lucy's pregnant and we're getting married."

Daylin laughed. "Aunt Hannah will have it in the newspaper by next week. You wait and see. You hear anything about that promotion at work?"

"They're still choosing. Taking their damned time about it too. It's been almost two weeks now. Lucy thinks she might lose her job."

"What happened this time Cam?"

"I don't know. It's a shit job anyway, but we need the money. What little it is."

"She didn't tell you what happened?"

"She did, but it didn't make sense. She said that there was some kind of screw up with the register. They're trying to say that someone stole money and with the times, they think it was Lucy or this other chick."

"Lucy would never do that."

"I know. Her boss is a complete dick. I think he's ballin' the other chick, and that she's the one that took the money. But Lucy's going to end up taking the fall."

"Bullshit. Then again, everyone knows Corcoran always tries to get down the pants of every female that works for him. How much is missing?"

"Almost a grand."

"Damn, that's screwed up. If that asshole pins this on her, she's gonna play hell finding another job. Did she finish those courses she was taking online?"

Cameron shook his head. "No, she couldn't get into it. She still owes a bunch of money for it too."

"Cam, she's got hellacious credit card bills, a student loan from the first time she went to college and the debt from her failed attempt at online school. What are you gonna do? You're already in debt and you're not even married. Did she finish paying off her car?"

"I paid it off with that bonus I got from work."

"Cam."

"What? It's not like there was anything else important that needed to be done at the time. They were killing her with the interest."

Daylin sighed. "Are you gonna have trouble buying a house?"

"We shouldn't. My credit's a lot better than Lucy's. My mom said that she would cosign if she had to."

"I'll cosign for you Cameron," Daylin said.

Jess was starting to feel uncomfortable again. She felt like this should be a private conversation.

"I don't want you to have to do that."

"Don't worry about it. You've got more important things to worry about. Tell her to quit her job. I'll loan you a grand to pay off that asshole so she can get the hell out of that place."

"Daylin you already do way too much for me."

"I have to pick up the slack because you do way too much for Lucy. At least you won't have to worry about covering your rent and hers now. I assume that since your mom is dragging you out house hunting that she's finally decided that it's okay that you two live together."

Cameron grinned. "Yeah, the whole pregnant thing kind of cemented it."

"How's her mom taking the whole thing?"

"Better than we expected. She was more scared about telling her mom than she was my mom."

"Your mom loves her. She wanted you to marry her years ago until she found out Lucy shared her mother's fascination with the bottle."

"Yeah," Cameron said softly. "Well, I guess I'd better get back. Thanks for breakfast. Maybe we'll see you again, Jess? Lucy likes you. She thinks you're going to be really good for Daylin."

"Wow, she has Lucy's seal of approval?" Daylin said.

Why did she feel like she was eavesdropping again Jess wondered?

"Yep. We had a bet about how long it would be before you talked her into bed."

Her face was on fire again. Was she that transparent she wondered?

"Oops, sorry Jess. I'll call you Daylin, and thanks."

"Thanks for embarrassing Jess," Daylin said.

"I said I was sorry," Cameron said.

"It's okay," she said weakly, not looking at either of them.

"See, no worries bro. See ya'll later." Cameron gave them a wave and then he was gone.

"Sorry." Daylin said. "Cameron's not used to being around someone that I care about."

She looked up at him. "It's okay. We're adults. I guess it was obvious from what he walked in on us doing that we'd had sex."

He squeezed her hand. "I don't want you to be embarrassed about it. It's obviously not something you take lightly."

She shrugged, wishing she could take it more lightly. Wishing that he hadn't awakened something in her that had been dormant for a very long time.

"So what do you want to do on this beautiful Sunday?"

"I don't know."

"Do you need anything? Do you want anything?"

"I'm fine."

"Do you want to use my phone? Don't you need to call your stepmom?"

"I don't think I'm ready for that. My mom gave me her e-mail address. I think I might be more comfortable e-mailing her, at least at first."

"Okay, you can use my computer then." She followed him out to the living room. He turned to her. "Why don't you have a cell phone or a computer? Some form of communication?"

"I never had anybody to call Daylin."

"I can get a really good deal. Nice, free phone. We can add it to my plan. It wouldn't be much more a month than what I'm paying now."

"No way Daylin." She logged into her e-mail account. "You're not going to buy me anything."

"You are stubborn aren't you?"

She rolled her eyes at him, copying her stepmother's e-mail address from her mom's letter and starting a new e-mail. When she'd done that, she didn't know what to say. Say to the love of her father's life that she'd never met, who if he'd only been able to stay with; would have guaranteed that she didn't exist because her father would have never met her mother.

She decided to keep it simple and typed out 'Hi Selana, this is Jess, your stepdaughter I guess. My mom told me that he's gone. I am so sorry. She told me about the money too. Keep it. Give it to your kids. I'm sure that they can use it for college. I'd like to meet you sometime and my half brother and sister too, but I'm not ready yet. I'm not sure when I will be. If it's okay with you, I'll let you know. I didn't see it in the funeral announcement. Can you please tell me where my Dad is buried? Thank you. Jess.'

She was crying when she hit send. Would there be a time when it didn't hurt that her father was gone she wondered? She understood now why he had left and she didn't blame him. She blamed her mother more for not telling her the truth a long time ago, but why did he have to be gone? Why did her chance to see him have to be lost forever?

Daylin pulled her into his arms. "Let it out baby. Let it all out."

She didn't know how long she let herself cry. She just knew that she felt drained when Daylin pulled away and reached for the box of Kleenex on the coffee table, handing it to her.

She pulled a handful out, blowing her nose and wiping her face. "I'm sorry Daylin."

"Nothing to be sorry about. At least it's not me you're crying over."

"Funny, Daylin."

"There's a nice park with a trail nearby. What do you say about a walk and a picnic?"

"Sure."

"Good. Let me see if I can dig out the picnic basket. I think it's in the garage somewhere. If there's anything else you need to look at on the computer feel free, or you know where the remote is."

She nodded. He disappeared in the direction of the garage.

She browsed the news online and then when he still hadn't come back, turned on the TV. It was another fifteen minutes before he returned. He was covered in dust.

She laughed. "I would have figured the garage was as well organized as the rest of the house."

"Um, no. I couldn't find the basket. I guess we'll have to pick one up somewhere. Are you up for champagne?"

She made a face. "Alcohol tastes like the rotten crap that it is."

He laughed. "Good point. I have soda. Let me throw together sandwiches and chips and then we'll go."

"I can help you."

"Sit your pretty little butt back on the couch. It's no trouble."

She made another face at him. If he wasn't driving her crazy with one thing, he was driving her crazy with another.

"Do you prefer mustard or mayo?" He called, poking his head out from behind the refrigerator door.

"Mayo."

"Ham or turkey?"

"Either is fine Daylin. Why don't you let me make my own sandwich?"

"I'll get it. It'll be just a minute."

She sighed and sat back on the couch and lit a cigarette.

A few minutes later Daylin came out to the living room with a cooler and said with a shrug "Not quite as romantic as a picnic basket, but it does the job."

"I'll bet you don't have a romantic bone in your body Daylin."

"Was it not romantic making love in the rain?"

"I think I'd call it something else."

He laughed. "Okay. You want romance Jess? I'll show you romance."

"No, I don't want romance. I was kidding."

"Every woman wants romance." He took her hand and helped her up from the couch.

"No Daylin, they do not."

"I've never met one that hasn't."

"Now you have."

"What made you give up on romance Jess?"

She followed him out to his car. "Nothing." She shook her head. "Everything."

"I can change your mind darlin'. I can change your mind about so much." He opened the passenger door for her and then went around to the driver's side.

She slid onto the seat, hiding a sigh. "Stop it Daylin, please. I am begging you to just stop."

"Why?"

"I'm not what you want me to be. I'm not what anybody wants me to be. I don't know how anymore."

"You can learn."

She laughed. "Right. I'm not even what I want me to be, but then again I have no idea anymore what I want me to be."

"You're young, you're beautiful. You could have anything or be anything that you wanted to be. Have you ever thought about going back to school? What did you want to do before all the shit happened with your stepfather?"

"That's the thing Daylin. I didn't know then. I was planning to go to college, but I never had a clue what I wanted to do with my life."

"So, you were no different than a lot of eighteen-year-old kids. And now you're no different than a lot of twenty-four year olds. A lot of them went to college and still don't know what the hell they're doing. There's got to be something you want Jess. If you could do anything right now, be anything, what would you want?"

"Something I can't have."

The only thing she could think of that she wanted was for her father to be alive even for five minutes so she could tell him how much she loved him, how much she'd missed him and that she didn't blame him, not anymore.

"That unfortunately is something that we can't do darlin'. Bring back the dead, turn back time. That's why we have to do the best we can with what we have, what we can do. Where would you live if you could live anywhere?"

"I don't know Daylin."

She'd seen enough shithole towns that they all looked alike. It didn't matter, home was nowhere.

"C'mon Jess, live a little. There's got to be something you want."

"No Daylin. Unfortunately there's not."

He sighed as he pulled into the parking lot of a grassy park. "That's not much of a way to live Jess."

"And your point is?"

"Don't you ever want to get married, to have children? Have a life?"

"No, I don't."

"Don't let your parents' experiences scare you away Jess. There's someone out there for everyone."

"What makes you believe that Daylin?" She looked at him as he opened her door for her.

"Because I met mine."

"And she's gone." She felt like a bitch for saying it, but it was true and she wanted him to stop thinking what he was thinking. That she was going to save him as much as he wanted to save her.

"She is. But sometimes you get a second chance."

"I'm not your second chance Daylin."

"Only because you won't let yourself be. Do you want to eat now or after we walk?"

"Now is fine." If his mouth was full of food he couldn't bug her.

He led her over to a scarred picnic table and sat down across from her, opening the cooler. She had to laugh when he started pulling the food out. She had no idea how he'd gotten it so full. There had to be eight sandwiches, along with four cans of soda and two bottles of water. He also had a plastic bag with two different kinds of chips and a full package of napkins.

"Did you think we were going to be gone all day? We're what, ten minutes from your house?"

He grinned. "I like to be prepared."

"You want me to get fat don't you?"

"I wouldn't care if you were. You'd still be beautiful. Especially pregnant."

And she'd thought he'd shut up when the food was out. "Don't say that word around me again."

"Pregnant?" He laughed.

"Not even remotely funny. I thought I was pregnant the second time I had sex with my moron of a high school boyfriend. He'd had the condom since he was twelve. If he hadn't already run for the hills by then he would have at that point."

"He dumped you after he made love to you?" Daylin looked amazed.

She rolled her eyes. "It was hardly making love Daylin. He only told me that he loved me so he could screw me. Then I guess he figured out that I wasn't that great at it."

"He was so wrong."

She turned away from him and pulled a handful of chips out of the bag, sitting them on a napkin in front of her.

"You are incredible in bed. I haven't seen such passion in a long time."

The discussion was making her want to throw something at him. "I guess that's what you get when you don't have sex for seven years, huh?"

"I don't think it was that Jess. I think you feel the same connection that I feel and your heart doesn't want to admit it but your body can't help it."

She was going to scream she thought. "Enough Daylin."

"You can't hide it Jess. You can't push everything down. Eventually it all comes up. When it's been hidden and pushed down for so long, it just hurts more when you finally deal with it."

"I'm fine Daylin. For the last time, I am fine."

"You are not fine. You've let all this torture you for way too long. You don't have to be afraid. You are so much stronger than you know."

"I'm not strong Daylin and I'm not afraid either."

"You are so afraid that I'm going to hurt you that you can hardly sit still. I can see in your eyes that you're thinking of ways to escape. But the problem with that is Jess, if you walk away it's gonna be worse. You'll always wonder. You'll think about our nights together and it will drive you crazy. You'll dream about me."

"You have such an ego Daylin." But she was afraid he was right.

"What I have Jess, is a heart."

"And I don't?" She popped the top of one of the cans of soda for something to do, though she hated regular soda.

"It's hidden behind a wall."

She took a drink of the soda and made a face. She felt like she could taste every drop of sugar and it was disgusting.

"Don't tell me you drink diet soda." He made a face of his own.

"Yes, I do. Maybe that wall around my heart should have been a little smarter and kept my legs shut. Then we wouldn't be having this ridiculous discussion." She gave him a tight smile.

"I wouldn't care if you hadn't let me make love to you. I'd still feel the same way. Yes, my sense of anticipation would be a hell of a lot stronger, but I am after all, only a man."

"You're lying."

Even though she knew he wasn't, she was going to be stubborn until the end she thought. Until she had successfully chased him away. Even if it was beginning to hurt to think about it.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me Jess."

She looked him in the eye. "I don't want you Daylin." But her voice cracked when she said his name and her words were hollow.

He reached across the table and took her hand. "It's okay to care. It's okay to feel this way Jess."

She pulled her hand away. "It's not okay for me."

"What is okay for you Jess? Is it okay to drift along and think that nobody cares about you? Is it okay to never let anybody get close to you so that when you're old you're alone and you've managed to get the only thing that you think you deserve? You deserve so much more Jess. You cannot let the thought that maybe you'll get hurt get in the way. We all get hurt. It can't stop you from living."

"My life is fine."

"Okay. Your life is fine. I get it." He got up from the table and threw the remaining sandwiches back into the cooler, smashing the bag of chips as he shoved them back in.

She watched him walk to his car and put the stuff in the back seat. The slam of the door echoed in the stillness. She found that she didn't get a lot of satisfaction from having pissed him off.

"C'mon. I've got some frustration to work off." He held his hand out for hers. When she started to shake her head he said "Please Jess, give me this one little thing."

She gave him her hand. He led her to a trail. When they had walked a little ways down the trail he said "Look Jess, I'm sorry. It is incredibly frustrating to have something that could change both of our lives so close and you ready to give up on it before it's had a chance to begin."

"It's already gone too far. I've already let you much closer to me than I've let anyone."

"I don't just want your body Jess. I want your heart."

So cliché she thought. "It's holed up behind a big thick wall remember?"

He laughed. "I'll tear it down."

"You do that Daylin."

She was done discussing this. She wanted to get the hell out of town. This was probably the park where he'd been caught screwing his English teacher.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Challenge accepted."

She rolled her eyes. "Is there where you were with what's her name?"

"Leave it to Cameron to make that stick in your head. No, this was not where I did the nasty with Mrs. Nelson. Let me clear this up because no one gets it, least of all Cameron. Mrs. Nelson is not a frumpy housewife who was the hot teacher when we were in high school. She's still a damn good looking woman even if she has put on a few pounds. And Mr. Nelson is not going to kick my ass. The only reason we did it in the park was because we were both a little drunk and he was at home with their kids. And no, that is not how it sounds either. It was her night to, well her night to go out and get laid. They have an open relationship or I would never have slept with her. They usually go out of town, because this place is not even close to open minded, but their daughter was getting over the flu and she wanted to be close to home. People don't like to see things the way they are sometimes. Like my parents. They still think my brother is perfect even though he can't keep a job and has I don't know how many paternity tests pending. And they'll never admit that my sister has a very cozy live in lover whom both my sister and brother-in-law happen to be in love with and who happens to love both them and their kids."

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow. So you're not the only one whose parents aren't perfect okay? The only thing mine are is perfectly stubborn."

"I'm sorry Daylin."

"My dad's going to be the one who's sorry when my mom dies a painful death."

She stopped and put her arms around him. He let her hold him for several minutes and then pulled back and gave her a slow, soft kiss that left her wanting more.

"We're going to shut up about all of this for the rest of the day and just enjoy being together, okay? What do you want for dinner? We'll go to the store and get anything you want."

She was half afraid that they'd run into one of his old lovers at the grocery store, but said nothing. "I don't care."

He sighed. "You'll decide when we get there then. You want to rent a movie?"

"Sure."

"Okay." He gave her another quick kiss and then put his arm around her waist and started back towards the car.

When they were back at the car he pressed her against the car and gave her what was not a quick or a slow kiss. It was rough, almost forceful. It took her breath away.

"I think I could love you Jess."

She said nothing as she moved back from the door. He opened it for her. She slid in, lighting a cigarette without really thinking.

She started to put it out but he said "Don't worry about it. Lucy borrowed my car when her overpriced piece of shit broke down. It's smelled like smoke ever since."

He was silent as he drove them to the grocery store. He pulled into a parking spot in the mostly empty lot and was around the car and opening her door before she could start to get out.

Once they were in the store, he pulled out a cart and slid it her way. "I'm following you. Get whatever you want." He was kissing the back of her neck when a female voice said "Daylin?"

"Hi Aunt Hannah. I figured you'd still be with Cameron and Lucy planning a wedding."

"My future daughter-in-law is craving ice cream and we didn't have any in the house. Do you and your friend want to come over for dinner Daylin?"

"It doesn't surprise me Lucy's already using her pregnancy to get what she wants. About dinner, thanks but no thanks Aunt Hannah. I'm making dinner at home tonight."

"Be nice to Lucy. She's a nice girl."

"Lucy is not a nice girl. She'll tell you so herself."

"But my son has loved her for a very long time and that's enough. She'll straighten out now hon. She has no choice."

"Yeah. Aunt Hannah, this is Jess."

Daylin's aunt smiled at her. She was a beautiful woman with long dark hair pulled back into a braid that trailed halfway down her back. "You must be the one that Cameron was telling us about. He didn't do you justice when he said you were pretty Jess. Is that short for something?"

"Yes, Jessica."

"Aunt Hannah likes to use everyone's full name Jess, as you can tell. Lucky Lucy's just Lucy and not Lucinda or something. And you know that Cameron's too blind to see that anyone besides Lucy is beautiful."

His aunt laughed. It was a musical sound. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"Nope. You'd better get back or Lucy's ice cream is going to melt."

"Yes dear. It was nice to meet you Jessica. You must come for dinner sometime soon."

"It was nice to meet you too," Jess said.

As his aunt walked away Daylin said "She's going to hold you to that."

Jess did her best to ignore him as she wandered aimlessly down the aisles of the grocery store. She had no idea what sounded good for dinner. Daylin noticed that she was wandering.

"Since you seem to be undecided, let me throw out some suggestions. I can make tuna casserole, pretty much any kind of meat like steak, burgers, or chicken. Spaghetti, meatloaf, pretty much anything that comes out of a box or a bag." He grinned.

"Chicken sounds good."

"Fried or baked? And what kind of vegetables do you want?"

"Baked, and I'm not the greatest at vegetables. Salad is as close as you'll get me most of the time and that's only once in a while."

"Wonderful. You smoke, you drink diet soda, and you don't eat vegetables. How about corn and potatoes? And we'll get biscuits."

"You really are trying to make me fat Daylin."

"I have plans to work it off," he said suggestively.

"Pervert."

"Guilty as charged." He laughed.

He bought three pounds of chicken breasts, a huge box of instant potatoes because he said he was feeling too lazy to make them the old fashioned way, six ears of corn, two packages of biscuits, and a cherry cheesecake for dessert.

When they got back to the house, he again refused her offer to help him cook, his only condition that she didn't mind if he turned up the music. He turned on classic rock. It reminded her of her father, something he used to listen to when he'd be out in the yard or in the garage on the weekends, something that her mother had listened to until Ned had come along. Then she'd started listening to country which Jess detested.

She logged back into her e-mail because there was nothing on TV and she didn't want to start the movie without him, checking to see if there was anything from her stepmother. There was. She opened it and read 'Jess, it was very good to hear from you. It tore your father apart that he never got to see you before his death. He loved you very much and never stopped thinking of you. It hurt him sometimes to look at your sister. She looks so much like you. There were a lot of things that he and your mother should have done differently sweetheart, but don't think for one minute that any of it was your fault. Don't be ridiculous about the money. Your father would never forgive me if I didn't make you take it. Don't worry about Craig Jr. and Chelsea. They have plenty of money for college. Your father wanted to do so much more for you than he ever could. I would be honored to meet you when you're ready. Your sister has been talking about you nonstop. If you need anything do not hesitate to call. Please promise me that you won't stay out of touch for so long. We've all been so worried about you. Your father's grave is at the Cliffside cemetery in Welton. It's 2515 W 8th St. All my love, Selana'

She signed out of her e-mail, thinking that she could at least visit her father's grave before she left town. She picked up a magazine off of Daylin's coffee table and lit a cigarette.

She was involved in a news story when he sat down beside her. She almost jumped when he said "You really are transparent Jess."

"Huh?"

"You're reading about a man and a woman who fell in love at first sight and then got torn apart and spent years getting back together."

She threw the magazine back on the coffee table. She was blushing again. She hadn't blushed as much as she had since she'd met Daylin since she'd had a huge crush on her history teacher in eighth grade. She'd gotten red faced every time he looked in her direction.

"So?" She felt about as brilliant as she had in Jr. high history.

He laughed. "It's okay. At least you're not reading about babies and weddings."

"Shut up Daylin."

He laughed again. "Not that I'd care if you were. Maybe we could have a double wedding with Lucy and Cameron."

"Don't mention that word either."

"Most women your age have been planning their weddings since they were sixteen."

"You forget that we're living in the twenty-first century Daylin. Most women have figured out by the time they're sixteen that there's more to life than a white picket fence and 2.5 kids."

"It doesn't mean that it's wrong to want that."

"So Daylin, how many kids do you want?"

"Three," he said matter-of-factly.

"All boys right?" She rolled her eyes.

"Nope. I want a boy first so he can protect his sister from guys like me though." He grinned.

She nodded. "Hmm."

"How many kids do you want?"

"We said no talking about this. And I don't want any."

"Three sounds like a good number to me. You brought it up."

She threw the pillow from her side of the couch at him. "Stop it."

"Okay, okay. So how come out of all the movies we looked at the only one you wanted to see was that gory horror flick?"

Because the rest of them that had been left were romantic comedies and the last thing she needed was for Daylin to get any sappier on her Jess thought. It never ceased to amaze her how the biggest, strongest men could be brought down by a woman so easily. From what she'd seen from Daylin and Cameron she wondered if their fathers were both hopeless romantics as well.

"I like scary movies."

"Oh."

"What?"

"Nothing. I guess I shouldn't be too upset. You'll probably jump up in my lap when you get scared."

"Uh huh."

She'd hated horror movies and scary stories until she was about eleven then she'd gotten bored and picked up a young adult horror novel at the library. She'd read and watched nothing but horror since then. The only movies she'd bothered to see in the past six years had been scary movies.

He leaned over and gave her a kiss. "I guess I'd better get back to dinner. You finish your story." He winked at her.

"I can help. I am capable of cooking."

"I am at your beck and call Jess. You're not going to lift a finger while you're here."

She lifted her finger to flip him off.

"You promise?"

"No."

"Tease."

Daylin took a pan out of the oven. The smell of the food was mouthwatering.

"Almost ready," he said.

"Can I at least set the table?"

"Done." He gestured to the table.

She sighed, fighting the urge to stick her tongue out at him.

He saw the look on her face and laughed. "Little Miss Independent has to learn to sit back and let somebody take care of her. I'll bet you don't like going out to eat because you don't like somebody else waiting on you."

"I've been a waitress. The job sucks."

"Never mind Jess. Come eat."

Dinner was nice. The food was good. He'd even put candles on the table. She was stuffed again and could barely finish her cheesecake. It was so good that she managed to make it through, though.

He surprised her by letting her rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. When she was finished they retired to the couch. He started the movie.

It was pretty gory. She did turn her head into his chest a couple of times, which caused him to get that cocky grin on his face. She managed not to give him the satisfaction that he could have had by keeping her head there to breath in his scent, though. She'd never known a man could smell that good.

When the movie was over he said "I wanted something to make tonight special."

"Okay." She was afraid of what he meant.

"So I rented porn in my bedroom on pay per view."

"Daylin. That's gross."

He laughed. "I'm kidding Jess. I figured that there was nothing that could make tonight more special than you and me being together."

If she was sixteen, she thought she probably would have burst into tears at the sentimentality. As it was, she was twenty-four and jaded. She gave him a weak smile and followed him back to the bedroom.

He took it maddeningly slow with her. By the time they were naked she wanted to say something to him that could have come from a porno. Still he took his time, touching her, kissing her everywhere until she could hardly stand it, especially since he wouldn't let her touch him.

When he had maddened her to his satisfaction, he lay back on the bed and looked at her with his dazzling hazel eyes and said "Your turn."

"Huh?"

"A minute ago you wanted to touch me so bad you could taste it. Have your way with me Jess."

"Daylin."

"Hmm?"

"I uh. . ."

He gave her a kiss that she could feel all the way to her toes. "Don't tell me you've never been on top."

"No, and I don't want to." Oh yes, she wanted him she thought. She was just embarrassed at how much.

He shrugged. "I guess I'll just lay here then."

"Asshole."

"You want me Jess, I'm right here."

"Daylin please."

"You can't have it both ways darlin'." He brushed her hair back from her face.

"Don't make me do this Daylin."

He laughed softly. "You act like I'm trying to torture you. Come here." He pulled her down gently on top of his chest. "See, it's not so bad is it?"

It wasn't, but it wasn't like they were having sex yet either. A thought occurred to her then. "You're not going to make me um. . ." She couldn't say it. She might as well be sixteen.

He laughed and sat up, taking her with him. "No love. I will not make you put on the condom."

He reached into the nightstand and pulled one out, moving back slightly so that he could put it on. Then he lay back on the bed with her still on his chest. "Now it's up to you though."

Sighing, half with frustration and half with desire, she moved back slightly and straddled him, taking him inside of her. Once he was inside of her, it was much easier. Though her eyes were tightly closed the whole time so she couldn't catch a glimpse of the look on his face, it was definitely a pleasurable experience.

When she moved off of him he said "I told you so."

"Stuff it Daylin."

He chuckled. "Oh, the things I could teach you about sex Jess."

"No thanks."

"You break my heart Jess."

"Yeah, yeah. Shower and then bed. I'm leaving in the morning remember?"

"You don't have to leave and don't remind me."

She insisted on showering alone, leaving Daylin laughing at her in the bedroom. When she was finished she went back into the bedroom and said "Your turn."

"Uh huh."

"What?"

"Quit looking at my butt. You make me feel dirty."

"You are dirty Daylin."

"Only for you Jess," he said as he shut the bathroom door.

She snorted. He took forever in the shower. She wondered if she had used too much of the hot water.

She was half asleep when he came back to the bedroom, wearing a pair of pajama pants with big red lips all over them.

"Nice pants." She closed her eyes.

"Jess," he said when he'd crawled into bed with her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Hmm."

"I want you to know that even if you do decide that this is too much for you, and you don't want me to be a part of your life, that these last few days have been the best days I've had in years."

"Thank you Daylin," she said softly, her eyes still closed. "I feel the same way." She might as well admit it she thought, so that he'd let her go to sleep.

He kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight Jess. Sweet dreams, and may they all include me."

"Goodnight Daylin. And may your dreams not include me."

"You are a piece of work woman."

"I never said I wasn't." She yawned.

"True."

She snuggled more comfortably into his arms and was asleep within minutes.

Chapter 5

The next morning when she woke up and looked at the clock she groaned. It was after ten o'clock.

"Daylin," she called. "Why in the hell did you let me sleep so late?"

He came into the bedroom with a travel mug of coffee. "You look beautiful when you're sleeping."

She reached for a cigarette. "You lay on the bullshit really thick don't you?"

He laughed and gave her a big pair of hazel puppy dog eyes. "It's one of my many talents. What's the hurry?"

She sighed. "Hell, I don't know. It's not like there's a reason to rush to my dead father's headstone. I guess I just want to get settled into a place here until I can figure out where I'm going to go, what I'm going to do with my life."

"You have a place here. I could probably get you a job too."

"Daylin please don't start." She leaned over and put her cigarette out and got up, headed to the bathroom.

He intercepted her and held her tightly for a moment that lasted all too long and not long enough at the same time. She knew that like it or not, she was going to miss the feeling of being in his arms.

"I'm going to miss you Jess."

"Miss me later. I have to pee."

He laughed and released her.

She used the bathroom, grimacing when she saw that there was a hickey on her neck. When she had finished washing her hands and face and brushing her teeth, she stalked back to the bedroom. He was lounging on the bed like he was content to stay there all day, which she figured he probably was.

"You are an asshole Daylin."

"What did I do this time?"

She pointed to the hickey on her neck. "That is what you did. I don't know when you did it, but you did it and I don't appreciate it."

He grinned. "It's tiny Jess, no one will ever notice. I think you were a little distracted when I gave it to you. Very distracted actually."

"Ha. Flattery gets you nowhere when you sucked on my neck like a vampire. Can we go now please?"

He made a face. "Do we have to?"

"Yes Daylin, we very much have to."

"Are you sure you don't want breakfast?"

"No, I will survive without it." She searched the bedroom to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything and spotted a pair of her panties on his side of the bed. "Will you hand me my underwear please?"

When he was handing them to her, he managed to pin her to the bed for a kiss that made her wish she didn't have to leave. When he let her up, she said "Are you finished trying to convince me to stay now?"

He sighed. "I must be losing my touch."

She rolled her eyes and shoved the panties in the side pocket of her duffel bag. "You are not losing your touch Daylin, believe me."

He grinned and followed her out to the living room.

Once they were outside, she put her duffel bag into the trunk and sighed as she ran her hand over her father's jacket. "I miss you Daddy," she said softly.

Daylin was standing against the driver's door of his car, looking like a model. She cursed him for being so good looking as he blew her a kiss. At least she wouldn't be able to smell him since he'd be in his car Jess thought.

"Do you know of any decent apartment buildings around town?"

He made a face at her. "There aren't many apartments around here and they're almost as bad as the motel rooms. You can always stay with me. It'll give you time to save money until you've figured out what you want to do."

She hid a smile. And if she was at his house, he'd be sure to talk her or seduce her into staying with him. "No way Daylin. I am not staying with you and I have plenty of money. I'll follow you to the apartment building."

Daylin sighed. "If you're sure." Then he smiled. "At least you're not trying to run away from me completely."

Jess shook her head at him. She had a feeling that the longer she stayed in Welton, the harder it was going to be to leave Daylin. She had a feeling he knew it too, so she didn't plan on staying long.

The drive to the apartment building was short, though Welton was small enough that Jess was pretty sure the drive to anything in town would be. The building didn't look like it was in the greatest shape. Daylin made a face at her when she got out of her car.

"You don't have to stay here. My bed is big enough for two." He gave her a cocky grin.

"Enough Daylin. I am not staying at your house, not matter how much you try to convince me. Besides, I am admittedly stubborn as hell. If you don't shut up about me living with you, maybe I will leave Welton."

He gave her a pout. "C'mon Jess, I was teasing. Let's look at this shithole. At least this place is better than Lucy's apartment building. Now that place is a dump."

Jess followed him to a door marked office. There was an older woman behind the desk. She looked up when they entered.

"Hello. How can I help you?"

"Do you have any apartments for rent?"

The woman nodded. "It's a little small for two though."

"It's just me. Do you have a lease period? I'm not sure how long I'm planning on being here."

Daylin made another face at her, but she ignored him. The woman laughed. "No lease honey. Month to month. Rent is $500. We pay the electricity and you pay us. Deposit is equal to the rent. No dogs. You have a cat, that's a $250 deposit."

"Okay. Can we take a look?"

"Sure." The woman pulled out a key ring. They followed her out of the office after she'd put a sign up on the door that said 'back in five minutes.'

The apartment was on the first floor in the corner. It was small and dusty, but Jess had lived in worse. Daylin was making all kinds of faces behind her back, but she figured that once it was furnished it would suit her just fine until she could figure out her destination after Welton now that she knew what had happened to her father. She held back a sigh as she thought of her father.

"I'll take it," she said to the woman.

"Great. There's an application back in the office. Nothing complicated, just need to have your information on file. Just make sure your rent's paid on time and try to give us some notice when you get ready to leave."

"Sure."

Jess and Daylin followed the woman back to the office. Jess filled out the application and then had to go out to her car to get her money, which she kept in a lock box in her trunk. Daylin made a face at her.

"Why do you have that much cash on hand? Have you never heard of a checking account?"

"Come on Daylin, it's not like with what's gone on in the banking industry lately that I'm the only person in the world without a bank account."

"Yeah I guess. I just want you to be safe Jess. It doesn't seem safe for a woman as beautiful as you to be carrying around so much cash."

"I've been perfectly safe for six years Daylin. Nothing has changed now."

Daylin pressed her against the side of the car. "Hasn't it?"

He gave her a kiss that left her wanting more, but she wasn't going to admit that to him. She pulled away and shook her head at him. "The only thing that has changed in my life is that my search for my father ended in a way I didn't want it to."

"You're cold woman. Admit that you want me half as much as I want you and I'll be happy."

Jess rolled her eyes. "I want you Daylin, but that's just my body telling me that it enjoys sex after not having it for seven years and doing it with somebody who actually knows what they're doing."

"Very cold. It's not wrong to care Jess."

"I'm not having this discussion with you Daylin."

She turned and stalked to the office, wondering if it was a good idea to pay to move into the apartment. She wasn't sure how long she was going to be able to stand being around Daylin without cracking, without admitting just how much she wanted him.

When she returned from taking care of business in the office, Daylin was leaning against his car, a sour expression on his face. She felt a little bad, so she crossed to him and gave him a quick kiss. He seemed to soften a little.

"Do you know where the cemetery is?"

"Sure. Oh, is your dad buried here?"

"Yeah. Can we go there please?"

Daylin squeezed her hand. "Sure babe. Follow me."

He gave her a kiss and then released her after a brief hug. She didn't like to admit to herself how right it felt to be in his arms. She didn't want to take the comfort he was offering either, though she felt she desperately needed it at the moment.

The drive to the cemetery was short. Jess took a deep breath and let it out after she'd gotten out of the car. Daylin pulled her into his arms and held her. She pulled away from him a minute later, not really wanting to but knowing that it was better for both of them. They wandered the well-tended rows, checking out the names on the stones. She had to remind herself that she was looking for Craig Sheffield and not Forrest Brewster. She wished she'd brought flowers.

They found him after about five minutes. For Jess it was all too soon. The stone was a pretty polished marble. When she looked at her father's birth date she realized she'd never known that her father had been five years older than her mother. Ned was a few years younger than her mother. Two, maybe three. She could never remember, and didn't really care.

Her eyes blurred with tears as she looked at her father's final resting place. "Oh Daddy." She felt Daylin's arms tighten around her. "I'm so sorry. I should have tried harder to find you. Why didn't Mom tell me?"

Then she was sobbing and Daylin was murmuring softly in her ear "It's okay baby."

"No it's not." She wiped her eyes. "My mother should have told me. What right did she have to keep him from me?"

"Honey, I'm sure she's sorry. I'm sure she would have done things differently if she would have known. A lot of things."

She shook her head. "She loves Ned and they've got two kids now. I can't tell her what he did. It's not fair to her."

"She should know Jess."

"Like I should have known that my father didn't leave me because he didn't love me?"

"We all make mistakes love. Believe me, I know."

"Let's go Daylin."

She turned back to the gravestone. "I love you Daddy. Wherever you are."

He took her hand and led her back towards the cars. She pushed the button on her remote to unlock her door. He insisted on opening it for her.

"So where to now babe? Do you want me to help you find furniture for that dump you insisted on moving into?"

Jess sighed. "It's not that bad Daylin. And there is no way I am moving in with you when I just met you. That is so not a good idea."

"It could be if you let it be. I can change for you Jess. I already feel like we could have something special together if you'd let us. Take a chance Jess. You won't regret it."

She shook her head at him. "We'll take it as it comes Daylin, but I'm not going to rush into anything when I have no idea how long I'm going to be here. Is there a thrift store or something where I can buy furniture? And is there anywhere around here where I could get a job? Somewhere it won't be too big of a deal if I end up leaving in a couple months?"

"How many times are you going to break my heart Jess? Please don't talk about leaving like it's inevitable. It doesn't have to be."

She gave him what felt like a weak smile. "Sure Daylin. You know where I can buy furniture right? Can we get out of here?"

"Yeah. I'll buy you brand new furniture."

"No. Used is fine for me."

He made another face at her but nodded. "There's a thrift store. We are going to buy you a cell phone though. You need some way to stay in touch."

"Yeah, I suppose so. Let's go."

He tried to kiss her again, but she pushed him away. "Later."

He grinned and winked at her before he went back to his car. She followed him to the thrift store and was lucky enough to find a bed that was in good condition, and a loveseat, and picked up a small table for the kitchen, a coffee table and a small bookshelf. Daylin wanted to buy her a TV, but she refused, saying she'd never turn it on.

The furniture wouldn't be delivered until the next day which Daylin didn't like, but she had a backup plan in her trunk, an air mattress that was pretty comfortable and had gotten her through many a night waiting for furniture.

They stopped at a discount store where Daylin insisted on buying her the fanciest prepaid cell phone he could find because she refused to get one with any kind of contract. She broke down and bought an inexpensive laptop and a prepaid broadband modem but wouldn't let Daylin pay for it.

While they were waiting for the guy that worked in the electronics section to get her laptop out of the back because the display model was all they had out front, she caught Daylin looking at jewelry.

"Don't even think about it," she said.

"I have to have some kind of claim to you don't I?"

"That sounded very Neanderthal Daylin. I'm not going to know what to do with one man in my life, let alone more than one."

"Okay." She could see he was trying not to look pleased.

When everything was rung up and they were back outside in the parking lot Daylin said, trying to look nonchalant "Do you think you'd mind some company tonight?"

"Don't you have to work in the morning?"

He grinned. "I told them I'm working from home today and tomorrow. My boss doesn't mind. I've made him a lot of money in the last four years."

"Well. I wouldn't mind if you cooked me dinner."

"Oh. Shit. I guess it would be helpful if we bought you groceries huh?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

They could see the grocery store from where they were.

Daylin took forever in the grocery store, buying things that she never bought because she rarely made real meals and didn't eat breakfast. The total came to over three hundred dollars. He didn't blink. She sighed as she let him pay. It was more than she normally spent on groceries in a month.

When they got back to the apartment, it was near dark. He insisted on making several trips out to the car instead of letting her carry anything he considered too heavy for her. She couldn't imagine what he would be like if by some miracle she ever let him talk her into having his child.

He made them a dinner of pork chops, potatoes and corn, laughing at her mismatched pots and pans.

They ate sitting on the living room floor. He told her that he couldn't imagine living without a TV set.

She laughed and told him that she couldn't imagine living with one.

He relented and let her do the dishes, setting up her stereo system so they'd have some noise.

They made love on the living room floor, the soft scent of jazz playing in the background.

When it had gotten late, he said "Are you sure that thing will hold both of us?" He made a face at her air mattress.

"It's fine Daylin. People sleep on these all the time. It's pretty comfortable. More comfortable than some of the real beds I've had."

"If you say so." When they had both lay down and she was in what had become her favorite position, curled up against him with her head tucked underneath his chin he said "I could get used to this."

"I told you it was comfortable."

"I wasn't talking about the bed."

"Yeah." She let it go at that. Unfortunately for her, so could she.

Chapter 6

Her sleep was uneasy that night. She had dreams that she couldn't remember, only that she knew weren't good. She tossed and turned so much that she was afraid she was going to wake Daylin up.

But he was still up before her. She could smell coffee brewing in the kitchen and hear the sizzle of bacon cooking.

"Morning sleepy head," he said, giving her a grin after she had used the restroom and wandered out to the living room.

"Morning." She lit a cigarette.

"You smoke too much."

"Yeah, I suppose I do."

"So why don't you quit?"

"I don't want to. It comforts me."

"Comforts you that you're going to give yourself lung cancer? Have you not heard the wonderful nicknames that your little friends have? Coffin nails, cancer sticks?"

"I like the smell. It keeps me calm."

"You're addicted. I like the smell too. Well, not the smell in the air, in your clothes, in your hair, but while they're burning. You shouldn't make excuses Jess. It's your health you're putting on the line."

"I know that. I can read the warnings on the packs."

"And that doesn't disturb you one bit?"

He came out to the living room and put a plate in front of her that had a huge pile of scrambled eggs, several slices of bacon and toast piled on it.

"I never said cigarettes were healthy. But there are so many products that aren't one bit healthy that aren't labeled the way that cigarettes are. I have to have something Daylin."

He made a face. "Your something is going to put you into an early grave, make you look older than you are. It can even make it harder to get pregnant."

She snorted. "Who the hell said I planned on getting pregnant anytime soon Daylin?"

He sighed. "Nobody, but it's something to think about."

"Lucy got pregnant didn't she?"

"Yeah, yeah. Eat your breakfast."

"What you put on my plate is easily enough for two people. I hardly ever eat breakfast."

"Eat it."

"Yes Dad."

"Easy woman, maybe I like to be called Daddy."

"Daylin you are totally and completely disgusting."

He grinned. "You liked it last night. And the night before, and the night before that."

She scowled at him. "Don't remind me."

"I'll show you after you eat your breakfast."

"No thanks."

But the very thought made her heart beat fast.

"No thanks?" He'd finished half of the food on his plate which had been piled even higher than hers was. "You wound me Jess."

"A man's ego is a dangerous thing Daylin. Especially one as hot as you."

"Now I'm hot." He reached out and brushed her hair gently back from her face. "You really do drive me crazy."

"I know."

He drove her crazier than she wanted to admit too and in more ways than one.

They were silent as they finished eating, both lost in their thoughts. She wondered what he was thinking, and then figured she probably didn't want to know. She finished all of the food on her plate to please Daylin though she was so stuffed she thought that she probably wouldn't need to eat lunch.

He took the plates back to the kitchen and said "So when did they say they'd be delivering your furniture?"

"Around ten I think. Why?"

"I think we can find a way to occupy the time until they get here." He took her hand and led her back to the bedroom.

They had made love, showered and were dressed and sitting on the living room floor playing around with her laptop when there was a knock at the door.

Daylin jumped up and said "I'll get it."

She gave him an amused smile, checking out his butt as he headed to the door. A butt like that could cause a woman to go out of her mind Jess thought. He didn't even need tight jeans. Just his movements were enough. He was definitely starting to make her feel more than a little crazy.

A tall, muscular man stood at the door. "Just wanted to make sure you were home," he said. "We got your furniture. The guys will start bringing it."

"Can I help?" Daylin said.

"Nah," the guy said. "Thanks though."

Soon she had furniture and the apartment was starting to feel more livable. Even Daylin admitted it didn't look half bad when it was finished.

They sat down on the couch. His arm was around her shoulder, her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

"You sure you won't let me buy you a TV?"

"I don't need one. Besides, anything I want to watch I can watch on the computer."

"Yeah, I guess." He sighed.

"What?"

"I have to leave you soon babe and I don't want to. Will you let me call you? I don't want to pressure you into something that you don't think you're ready for, but I really like you Jess. I feel like we could have something."

"Maybe we can go out Daylin. I don't know. It doesn't feel like a good idea to rush into it."

"We don't have to rush. We can take it slow."

"Yeah right Daylin. How slow can we take things when we've already had sex?"

Daylin grinned. "Well, I'll stop bugging you about moving in with me."

"Ha ha."

"I will. I promise. If you decide to look for a job, let me know. I might be able to get you one."

She sighed. "I'm not going to work for you Daylin. Though I might look for a job. I won't know what to do with myself without one."

Daylin winked at her. "I could think of plenty of things to occupy your time."

Jess shook her head at him. "I'm sure you could. Thanks, but no thanks Daylin."

He kissed her slow and easy, leaving her breathless when he pulled away. He sighed. "I guess I'd better get going. Walk me to my car will you?" He took her hand and squeezed it, looking dejected.

She followed him to the door, shutting it behind them. "You're not going to lock it?"

"I'm going right outside Daylin." For someone that had grown up and lived in a small town, he didn't seem very trusting she thought.

"How much cash do you have Jess?"

"You probably don't want to know Daylin." Even with buying the computer and paying the rent and the deposit she still had almost ten grand in cash.

He made a face. "You're probably right. Didn't you ever worry that someone would think you were a hooker or a drug dealer with all that cash?"

"Nice Daylin."

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it. You're putting yourself at risk almost as much as you are with your smoking having so much cash on hand."

"Sure Daylin."

"If you need anything call me. I put my number in your phone and I put my e-mail address in your computer so there's no way for you to say that you don't have a way to get a hold of me. Don't try to forget me Jess. I won't call you until you call me, but I do expect to hear from you." He gave her a cocky grin.

"Sure Daylin."

She was sure she would call him if she stayed in town long enough. Maybe looking for a job wasn't such a good idea she thought. But then again, she had to have some way to live until she figured out what the hell she was going to do with her life.

He gave her another quick kiss and then with a huge sigh got behind the wheel of his car. "Goodbye Jess."

"Bye Daylin."

She stood and watched until she couldn't see his car. She didn't know how she felt. Part of her had wanted to run after him when he was leaving to tell her to take her with him. Another part was afraid that he would. Another small part told her that she wouldn't see him again, that she wouldn't hear from him. That she was just another woman in a long list of them that could never mean to him what Amanda had meant to him.

She shook her head at herself and headed back to her apartment.

She ran a brush through her hair once she was back in the apartment and decided to leave her hair down. She decided she might as well look for a job as soon as possible. At least if she was working she wouldn't be sitting around her apartment all day, trying not to think about Daylin.

She checked her wallet to make sure that her social security card was inside, and pulled out the only picture she'd ever kept in her wallet. It was an old picture. She'd only been two when it was taken. It was hard to believe that she'd ever been that young. They all looked so happy, she balanced on her father's knee, her mother standing proudly beside them, one hand on top of Jess's and the other clasped in her husband's on the other side where he was holding the hand that she had slung around his waist. Who would have known that a year later he would be gone? Who would have known that the little girl in that picture would grow up to be the woman that she was today? Now truly fatherless and feeling so lost.

She sighed, shoving the picture back into her wallet, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fill her eyes.

She took a deep breath and went outside, locking the door behind her.

Chapter 7

She drove downtown since she'd remembered seeing a bar that had a help wanted sign. She wasn't sure how much Daylin would like her working in a bar, but she still thought that she could push him away before he got any closer. She wasn't looking forward to running into him in town and wondered how long she could stand to stay in Welton. She figured that working at a bar would be a job that would be easy to walk away from at any time since she didn't expect to make bartending her life's work.

There was a pretty woman tending the bar when she walked in. The woman gave her a smile and said "What can I get you hon?"

"An application please."

"Sure. Have you bartended before?"

"No, but I'm a quick learner and I do have experience with a cash register. I'm looking for something kind of short term if that's okay."

The woman nodded. "Yeah, most people that come through Welton don't stay long. It's okay hon. Right now we're looking for someone to fill a spot while one of our bartenders is on maternity leave. Tomorrow is her last night. If you're interested you could start Wednesday."

"That sounds great."

The woman dug around on a shelf underneath the cash register and come back with an application. "Fill this out please. I'll take your ID and social if you have it to make a copy."

Jess nodded. She pulled both out of her wallet and handed them to the woman, glad that getting a job had been easy at least. With the way things were going in her life lately, she was glad that something was easy.

She filled out the application and left a few minutes later. She headed home, wondering what Daylin was up to. Then she shook her head at herself. She had to stop thinking about him or she was going to drive herself crazy.

Moments later she was in her apartment. Her phone rang when she was seated on the couch in front of her computer, wondering if she should e-mail her stepmom.

Since Daylin was the only one that had her number, she knew that it had to be him. She looked at the screen, amused when she saw that he had put his number in under "lover" and pressed the button to answer the call "Hello."

"Just the voice I wanted to hear."

"I'd guess so Daylin since I'm the one you called."

"Smart ass. Are you happy with your new place?"

"Sure. I got a job."

"Jess, I told you to talk to me before you went looking for a job. Where will you be working?"

"The bar downtown."

"Jess, men get drunk when they go to the bar."

"Duh, that's kind of the point Daylin."

"You're going to get hit on all the time."

"I can handle myself Daylin. I am a grown woman."

"You make me want to protect you Jess. Why won't you give it up and let me?"

"Because I just met you."

"You are stubborn."

"Never said I wasn't."

"What are you up to tonight?"

"Not much. I decided to get one of those online movie subscriptions so I'll probably watch a couple movies and then go to bed."

"I knew you'd like having a computer. Are you going to make enough money working at the bar?"

"With tips I should be good."

"I hope so, though I will always be here if you need anything and I mean anything. Have you met any of your neighbors?"

Jess smiled because he couldn't see her. "Not yet."

"That's too bad. So Cam and Lucy found a house."

"Did they? That's good."

"Lucy and my aunt dragged Cameron around all day looking at every house in town that was for sale. Or that's what he claims anyway. They ended up taking the first one they looked at."

"Is it nice?"

"It's pretty nice. It's got a big fenced yard, three bedrooms. They got a pretty good price so hopefully they won't be paying for it for the rest of their lives."

"That's good. Did Lucy get whatever was going on at work straightened out?"

Daylin sighed. "I wrote the asshole a check first thing after I got home. I swear Lucy invites trouble. I don't know what she's going to do sitting in the house with Cameron at work all day trying not to think about drinking and smoking."

"I'm sure she'll be fine."

"You could hang out with her, help distract her."

"Daylin."

"I'll shut up. She does have a couple of friends that stay home with their kids so she'll have them to hang out with."

"That's good."

"They set a date for the wedding too."

"When is it?"

"They're getting married on Valentine's Day. Lucy insisted."

"That's romantic."

"Cameron originally wanted it to be in April on the 5th, that's the day between his birthday and Lucy's birthday. She said she'll be too fat then."

"It sounds nice."

"You know, there's still time. . ."

"Do not start Daylin."

"Okay, I'll be good. Don't you miss me Jess?"

"I didn't say I didn't miss you. I said that I'm not going to move in with you or marry you four days after I met you."

"February is five months away."

"I don't think that I'm going to be ready to get married in five months Daylin."

"You're a spoil sport. I'll buy you a really nice ring, even nicer than Lucy's."

"Daylin."

"Yes, I promised to be good. I know. I don't want to lose you. I'm so afraid of losing you before you've really given me a chance."

"You won't lose me Daylin."

Never mind that there was still a part of her that wanted to run away from him, never mind that she had a feeling she was going to run away from him if she let herself feel too much of what she was feeling.

He sighed. "I never thought I'd lose Amanda either."

"Oh Daylin."

Jess thought that he must have figured it was best to change the subject then, because he said "When are you planning on meeting your stepmom?"

"I'm not sure. I'm still getting used to the idea of having a stepmom and a half grown brother and sister."

"I can be there with you when you meet them if you want."

"I don't know Daylin. I'm not even sure how far away they are. I have the address from my mom but I never bothered to check out exactly where it was. If they're close to my grandparents' maybe I could do it all at the same time."

"If you want me there I'm more than willing."

"Thanks."

"So have you put any thought into where you'll be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas?"

"Not really."

"You could meet the rest of my family. With my mom being so sick it probably won't be much of a celebration, but it looks like it might be her last. I'd like you to be there. I mean, if you don't mind."

"Sure." Who the hell knew what things would be like in two months anyway Jess thought? She didn't want to hurt his feelings by refusing outright.

"Great. Well, as much as I hate to, I'd better let you go. Have a good night. Call me anytime, text me, IM me. Just don't forget me and remember to miss me okay?"

She laughed. "Of course."

"Bye baby."

"Bye Daylin."

Later that night when she was ready for bed, she shut her computer down and went into the bedroom, using the restroom and then changing into her pajamas and climbing into bed.

She put her arm under her pillow and felt a piece of cloth. She pulled it out and saw Daylin's t-shirt. So he was trying to make sure she couldn't forget about him, she thought. She smiled and slipped her shirt over her head and replaced it with his. It wasn't quite as good as being in his arms, but it would have to do for now, because there was no way she was going to break down this easily and give in to him. She knew that if she called him anytime soon, she'd end up right back in his bed.

Chapter 8

She slept better that night. It was a little after eight a.m. when she got out of bed. She took a quick shower, then got dressed and started a pot of coffee.

She opened her e-mail and saw another e-mail from her mother. She opened it and read 'Jess, have you talked to Selana? I was just wondering how you were and whether you decided to get yourself a phone. Who convinced you to call your mother? I think I'd like to meet them. Levi has been asking about you. He's been back in town for a while now. I thought I would pass along the message. Well, take care sweetheart and call me anytime. I love you, Mom. PS I enclosed a picture I found of you and Levi at the spring dance. You look so beautiful, so happy'

She clicked on the picture and looked at it. They did look happy. Maybe because the young Jess didn't know that her wonderful boyfriend was going to screw her and dump her less than a month later. And her mother thought that she would jump at the chance at getting back together with Levi? Yuck, Jess thought. Last she'd known he was supposed to marry some girl he had gotten pregnant before he left to join the army. Then again, that had been a long time ago and things had obviously changed.

She typed out a reply to her mother. 'Mom, I did e-mail Selana. I'll set up a meeting with her and the kids when I feel ready, which isn't now.' She didn't know how to explain Daylin to her mother. She didn't think that her mother would approve whether or not she was twenty-four years old; of a man that she had went to bed with a few hours after she had met him. She agonized for a minute and then said 'The guy that made me call you is Daylin. I don't know when you'll meet him. He wants me to spend Thanksgiving with his family, but I don't know if I'll go or not. About Levi, I'm not interested. I thought that he was going to marry that girl, the one that was supposed to be pregnant with his baby when he left. How are your parents doing? Well, I start a new job tomorrow so I'd better let you go. I'll give you a call in the next few days. Love you, Jess.'

She spent the day watching movies to keep her mind off of Daylin. It didn't work and she wondered how much longer she could fool herself into thinking that she didn't care for him. She ate a light dinner and then made herself a cup of tea. Once she had her tea and was back in the living room, she sat down in front of the computer and started an e-mail to Daylin, figuring that it would be safer to e-mail him than to call him. 'I don't know how you managed to leave the shirt under my pillow, but I appreciate it. I do miss you Daylin and hope things are going okay for everyone. I'll probably call you Thursday evening if that's okay. Let me know if you have plans. Jess'

She hit send and then stretched. She was beat. She turned off the computer and went to the bedroom, feeling a little less silly tonight when she slipped Daylin's t-shirt over her head.

Her sleep wasn't as sound that night. She had a dream about Daylin. It was so vivid that when she woke up she could almost feel his hands on her body. She was sweaty and felt weird. She'd never had a dream quite like that before. She'd had sex dreams of course, but nothing like that.

She used the restroom and brushed her teeth, then went out to the living room. She lit a cigarette and turned on her computer, wondering if Daylin had e-mailed her back.

He had. She smiled as she read what he had written. 'I thought you'd like the shirt. Bet you're wondering how I got it there without you noticing huh? It's my little secret darlin'. Of course you can call me on Thursday. Don't ask, just do it. Oh, my mom's not doing very well, so Cam and Luce decided to move the wedding up to make sure she can be there. They're getting married the day after Christmas. While I promise I won't bug you about a double wedding anymore (too much), I still expect you to be there. I miss you love. Take care, Daylin.'

She typed out a reply 'Now you've really got me curious about where the shirt came from. Am I sleeping in some smelly shirt you had in your car? Kidding, because it really does smell good. I'm so sorry about your mom, but yes, I will come to the wedding with you. I miss you too. Jess'

She made herself a cup of coffee and read a book until it was time to go to work. She felt overwhelmed behind the bar. There was a lot to remember, but the guy she was working with whose name was John was very helpful. She felt like he was flirting with her at first, but then he told her that he'd heard around town that she was with Daylin. She told him that she wasn't with Daylin, but he smiled and told her to be careful. She was tired of hearing about how many hearts Daylin had broken, how many women he had been with. She was beginning to wonder if she should call him.

But she did miss him already and her decision to call him was cemented when she went home to her empty apartment. Her bed felt so empty without him.

She slept in his shirt again that night. She also had another sexy dream about him, and wondered again if calling him was a good idea. But then she figured she might as well give him a chance while she was in town and decided to call him early that evening, figuring he should be home from work then.

The day seemed to drag. She realized how nervous she was when she dialed his number. There was no answer. She was disappointed, but decided against leaving him a voicemail and decided she'd spend the evening by herself watching movies.

When she had looked through what felt like half of the movies on her internet subscription site and nothing looked good she decided to try Daylin one more time. If he didn't answer the phone, she was going to show up on his doorstep.

Daylin didn't answer his phone. So, feeling better than she had all day with her spur of the moment decision to visit him, she locked her apartment and headed to her car. If things went well she thought she might even give in to him and spend the night again.

When she reached Daylin's house, his car was in the driveway and the lights were on in the living room and the kitchen. But nobody answered when she knocked.

There was loud music playing so she figured he hadn't heard her and tried knocking louder. There was still no response. She wondered if he was in the shower. She started to turn around, figuring she would call him to let him know she was there, but something told her to try the door.

It was unlocked. She pushed it open. About two seconds later she wished she hadn't. The scene in front of her made her upset stomach feel worse.

Katiesha was with Daylin on the couch, and though they were both fully dressed, his arms were wrapped around her and they looked intimate.

She let out a little gasp that she hadn't known had come from her lips until Kateisha turned. The look on the woman's face turned from one of irritation at being interrupted to one of utter triumph.

Daylin saw her then and said "Oh, shit."

She turned to the door before he could say anything else and ending up slamming it in his face.

Her legs were shaky as she went back to her car. It took her two tries to get the door open because she hadn't pressed the button hard enough the first time. She sat behind the wheel for a moment, head in her hands, waiting for the door to open. She had sat up and lit a cigarette, trying to calm her nerves when Daylin came out. As the door closed she heard Kateisha call out "Don't be too long. We have unfinished business."

"Shut the fuck up Kateisha." Daylin slammed the door.

He went around to the passenger side of her car and tried the door, but she responded by clicking the button to lock it. He sighed and came back around to her window. "Jess that was not what it looked like."

She had to laugh. "What could that possibly have been other than what it looked like Daylin?"

"Some stupid bitch in her trailer park called CPS because their electricity got turned off. They took Ozzy away from her."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but why is it you that she turned to? I thought you didn't like her Daylin."

"I don't. You're the one I want."

"Then why didn't you answer my phone calls? Why am I supposed to believe that all you were doing is comforting her? You admitted yourself that you've had sex with her, recently even."

"Jess please. You've got to listen to me. Yes, I've had sex with Kateisha, but sex is the last thing on my mind right now. I'm trying to help her get her son back. That's my only concern."

"It sure doesn't seem to be her only concern. What 'unfinished business' was she talking about? I'm such an idiot. I'm going to leave Welton and never look back."

"Honey please. Don't make a rash decision because you happened to walk in on something that wasn't what it looked like. I don't want to live without you."

"You're going to have to Daylin."

It hurt like hell when she said it but she meant it. She wasn't going to let Daylin get to her anymore, and she was going to figure out what the hell she needed to do to get her life together as soon as possible. Then she really would leave Welton and never look back.

"Baby please. I promise nothing like this will ever happen again."

"If nothing happened, then why should I have to worry about it not happening again? You disgust me Daylin."

He gave her an offhanded smile, but it faded quickly. "Sometimes I disgust myself, but this time I didn't do anything wrong, and I wish that you had enough faith in me to believe me."

He tried to reach in the car window to touch her. She glared at him. "Don't you dare touch me."

He pulled back. "Can we please talk about this Jess? Come inside. I'd be more than happy to get Kateisha the hell out of there."

"Keep your please and your sorry. And you can sure as hell keep your Kateisha. I don't want a part of any of it. I don't want any part of you either. I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe you were sincere. I must have swallowed more bullshit in three days than most women swallow in a lifetime."

"It wasn't bullshit. I want you more than you know. I need you more than you know."

"You need to get away from my car so I can get the hell away from your sorry ass. I'll send you your shirt in the mail. If I don't decide to burn it first."

"Jess come on." She thought that he looked desperate, like he wanted to cry.

"I hope a girl you supposedly don't like was worth it. Goodbye Daylin."

She looked behind her and backed out of the driveway. He was still standing there watching her.

Her phone rang. She stifled the urge to throw it out the window. Instead she let it ring.

It rang and then stopped and rang at least five more times before she got home.

Jess parked her car in the lot and went to her apartment, suddenly feeling very tired. She used the restroom, trying to avoid her reflection in the mirror.

She splashed some water on her face and then left the bathroom.

She didn't bother to look at her computer as she passed it. She went to her bedroom, undressed and put on her pajamas, not letting herself look at Daylin's shirt resting on the bed yet.

When the light was off, she picked it up, feeling a sudden urge to tear it to shreds. But instead, she tossed it off the side of the bed.

She tossed and turned for what seemed like hours, but it was only a little after one a.m. when she fell into an uneasy sleep.

Chapter 9

The next morning she decided that it would be a good time to call Selana. She certainly needed something to take her mind off of Daylin.

She opened her mother's e-mail and dialed Selana's number, wondering if she'd be able to reach the woman since she had no idea when she worked.

A woman's voice answered after a few rings. It was a little eerie because Selana even sounded similar to her mother.

"Selana? This is Jess. Craig's daughter."

"Hi sweetie. It's so good to hear from you. I've wanted to talk to you for a long time Jess. To explain my side of the story. I never wanted to take your father away from your mother, away from you. I was just lost without him for so long. When I wrote him the letter I didn't realize that he was married and had a child. I felt so bad for so long. He wanted to see you but your mother didn't think you could handle it. I never agreed with it, but we went along with your mother's wishes because your father was the one that walked away. He tried so hard to find you after you turned eighteen honey. It broke his heart when he wasn't able to see you again before he passed away. I have a letter waiting for you that he wrote. It's just words, but it might help you feel better."

"I think I'd like to read it."

"I can send it to you if you'd like or I can save it for you. I'd really like to meet you and I know your brother and sister would too. Your mom sent some pictures of you growing up. You and Chelsea look so much alike. Of course you've both got your daddy's eyes."

"I think you're about three hours away from me. My car's pretty good on gas so I could drive up sometime. When do you think would be a good time?"

She had decided that she was going to do it. She wanted some sense of her father's life after he had left her. And she felt so empty. Maybe the letter her father had written her would help.

"You're more than welcome anytime Jess, but let me think. You can spend Thanksgiving with us of course since you're so far away from your mom, but that's still a ways away and Chelsea's been bugging me about meeting you nonstop since your mother called me. Craig's not in football this year and Chelsea gave up on cheerleading. Chelsea's in the choir. They're always having programs. Wait, I know the perfect time if it will work for you. The kids are both working on the school play. Chelsea's got a lead role which she's very proud of and Craig is working on the sets. It opens on Friday October 15th. I'm taking my vacation that week so someone will always be around. I don't know what your work schedule is like but you could come up any day that week, stay and see the play."

It was about three weeks away. She could drive up on Thursday. It would probably be better if she asked for Saturday off too, but she figured if she asked her boss right away if would be okay. "That would be great. I'll have to check with my boss to make sure that I can get Saturday off too since it would be kind of a pain to drive back and have to go to work. But she should be fine with it."

"Wonderful. The kids will be so excited. Do you need the money your father left you right away?"

"No. I'm fine." She still felt a little weird about taking so much money.

"Are you sure? It's been waiting for you for a long time. If you even need part of it for anything, let me know. Otherwise I'll make sure the check's drawn up and ready for you when you get here."

"I'm okay on money really. Thank you though."

"Anything you need Jess, I'm here. I know it may seem strange with your father gone, but I've always felt like we were missing part of our family not having you around."

The woman's words made her want to cry. What would her life have been like if her father would have taken her with him? Or even if her mother would have let her father see her Jess wondered? Selana didn't sound like someone that would have cut her a check to get the hell out of her father's life because she wasn't hers.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"Have you been to see your father's grave? I wanted to put the stone out here but he insisted on it being at home. We lived there for a while when the kids were young but there wasn't enough opportunity there. His ashes are sitting on the mantle here though so I guess that's what really counts. Which reminds me, Craig made sure I put aside some of his ashes for you if you want them."

Cremation had always seemed a little weird to her but it wasn't much weirder than her carrying around a twenty-one-year old jacket she thought. "Okay. If I can't get the time off from work or if anything changes I'll let you know. Otherwise I guess I will see you October 14th."

"Good. It was nice talking to you Jess. It puts my mind at ease to know you're okay."

"It was nice talking to you too. Thank you. I guess I'd better let you go."

"Is it okay if I save your number? If I give it to your sister she'll probably blast you with text messages, but if it's okay I'll give it to her too."

Jess smiled. Her sister. She almost missed being a teenager. "That's fine. I don't mind."

"She has so many questions for you. If you don't want to answer something just tell her. She's at the age where a big sister sounds a lot more interesting to talk to than a mother."

There were definitely times growing up where she would have liked to have had a big sister Jess thought. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I should be able get directions online to make it to your place okay, but if I get lost I'll be sure to call you."

"Okay honey. You take care of yourself and again, if you need anything, call."

"Thank you. Bye Selana."

"Bye Jess."

Her father's wife sounded like a nice woman. She was glad she had talked to her. She considered calling her mother, but realized that she wasn't in the mood to talk to her. It was going to take a lot for her to get over what her mother had done where her father was concerned.

She had to work that night, with a woman she hadn't yet met named Starla. She wasn't looking forward to it much, since John had let it slip that Starla had had a thing with Daylin for a while. She also hoped that Daylin wouldn't show up at the bar. She didn't think she could face him.

When she got to the bar, a beautiful blonde woman who looked like a model was standing behind the bar with Mary, the owner. Mary introduced them and then left her alone with Starla. Starla was nice, but Jess didn't like the fact that she brought up Daylin, telling Jess that it would be a good idea if she stayed away from him. She didn't mention her relationship with Daylin, but she did mention Kateisha and several other women that Daylin had been with.

It made Jess want to leave Welton more and more, but by the end of the night she realized that she liked Starla. The woman was friendly and open and she felt like she could talk to her about anything. It was something to have a friend after keeping people out of her life for so long. Jess traded phone numbers with Starla at the end of the night and decided that she would stay in Welton for a while, though she didn't like to think that her decision had anything to do with what she felt for Daylin.

She got her first text message from her sister the next day around noon. The girl was shy at first but soon she was rattling off questions before Jess had a chance to answer them. She wanted to know if Jess had a boyfriend, what he looked like if she did. She told Jess about a boy she liked in class that she thought liked her but was too shy to say anything. She told Jess about school, the classes she liked and the ones she didn't. It seemed as if her half-sister must have spent her entire lunch hour texting back and forth with the sister she'd never met.

It made Jess feel good. Chelsea was sweet and smart. She sent pictures of her friends, her brother, the boy she had a crush on. She told Jess how excited she was to meet her. She told her how much she missed their father and how her mother had always been her hero. She told Jess that their brother could be a pain in the ass and that his girlfriend was the prettiest girl in school. By the time her sister had to go back to class Jess felt like she knew her.

Was she a good role model for a fifteen-year-old kid Jess wondered? Probably not. She'd taken up their father's bad habit and worked in a bar. She hadn't gone to college and had taken one dead end job after another. She didn't think Chelsea cared though. She obviously adored her mother but sometimes a girl needs a big sister. She certainly wouldn't recommend that the girl follow in her footsteps, but she figured Chelsea had enough common sense not to. She knew where she wanted to go to college, what her second choice was. She wanted to be a teacher and already had a head start since she tutored freshman and middle school students at her school. She wanted a family, but she wanted to finish school first. She was sometimes afraid that she wasn't pretty enough. She asked Jess what it was like to fall in love.

Jess hadn't known how to answer that question so she'd fudged a little. She assured her sister that she was very pretty though it felt weird saying it to someone who looked like a younger version of herself.

She was glad she'd talked to Chelsea and figured that no matter how much time they might spend together that she was going to end up being a very proud big sister.

She was a little more worried about her half-brother, didn't think that the almost man that was named after their father would share his sister's easy acceptance of her. Then again she'd know for sure in a couple weeks one way or the other she thought. She was starting to get excited about her trip.

Mary had said that she was fine with giving her Saturday off.

Chapter 10

The days passed quickly. She didn't see Daylin around town, and he didn't come into the bar. But she knew he was there. She'd seen his car in the parking lot of the diner a few times when she'd driven by.

She was getting ready to go out to the movies with Starla one night when there was a knock at her door. She opened it and saw Daylin standing on her doorstep with a huge bouquet of flowers. She almost shut the door in his face, but decided against it.

He gave her a shy smile. "Hi."

"Hi." She had no idea what to say to him. She thought it was pretty arrogant of him to show up on her doorstep, but then again, his confidence was one of the many things about him that turned her on.

"Are you busy tonight?"

"I'm going to the movies."

"Oh. Is there another guy in your life?"

"Daylin, that's none of your business. We had sex. That's obviously all it was."

Daylin sighed. "I swear to you that other than putting my arms around her to comfort her, I did nothing with Kateisha, but I can certainly understand why you might think differently. Would you consider giving me a second chance?"

Jess looked away from him. He was too close for her to think straight. "No."

"Please Jess. From the second I met you I know I wanted too much from you. Looking back on it I would have wanted to run away from me too. I met someone who hadn't had a real relationship and threw everything at her. I tell you about Amanda, I tell you that I've slept around. I practically proposed to you. It was too much."

"So that's why you slept with her?"

"I didn't sleep with her and no."

"Why should I believe that?"

"Because it's true Jess."

She could see in his eyes that he meant it, but it wasn't enough for her. She didn't think she could trust him again.

"Please Jess. One more chance. I promise that if I screw this one up, I will leave you alone."

Jess sighed. "Fine Daylin. You can call me later tonight. I'm going to the movies with a friend from work, not another man."

"Starla huh?"

"Yeah. It's great to live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else's business all the time."

Daylin laughed. "Yeah. Thank you Jess. You don't know how much this means to me. I won't screw this up. It's been so hard having you in town and not being able to be with you. I promise you that I can be a better man for you."

"Be a better man for yourself Daylin."

"Yeah." Daylin handed the flowers to her.

"Thank you. I need to finish getting ready. The movie lets out at ten or so, so you can call me then if you want."

Daylin grinned. "I'll be counting the minutes."

Jess fought an urge to smile back at him. "Sure. Bye Daylin."

He looked like he was walking on air as he walked back to his car. Jess let herself smile. She let herself feel it a little too. Daylin still got to her way more than she wanted to admit he did.

Starla told her she was crazy when she told her she'd said it was okay for Daylin to call her, but Jess reminded her that she was a big girl. Starla smiled and told her not to try to say she hadn't warned her later on.

Daylin called her almost as soon as she was in her apartment. She took a deep breath and then let it out, answering the phone right before it went to voicemail.

Her heart was pounding when she said "Hello."

"Hi Jess. How are you?"

"I'm good Daylin. I'm going to meet my stepmom and brother and sister in a couple weeks."

"That's great. I'm sure they must be excited to meet you."

"Yeah. I've been talking to my sister. She seems like a good kid. Smart. How are Cameron and Lucy?"

"They're good. Still getting everything moved into their house. I've been helping out a lot. Luce wanted your phone number. I gave it to her. I hope that's okay."

"It's fine."

Maybe she could stand to talk to his cousin's fiancé now that she was going to give him another chance. She had decided she was going to give him another chance as soon as she'd heard his voice. But she needed to make sure that he was okay with taking it slow. She wasn't sure she could take getting so involved with him so quickly again.

"Daylin, we have to take this slow. I mean it. We can go out, but we're not going to be hopping into bed together again anytime soon."

"You're no fun Jess." But she could hear the smile in his voice.

She figured it was better to change the subject then. "How's your mom?"

"Not great. She's lost so much weight that she looks like a skeleton already. I'm so mad and yet I'm so sad that I don't know what to do. I'm grown and I look at my mom and I can't imagine what life will be like without her."

"I'm sorry." It had been hard enough for her to learn that her father was gone after the fact. She couldn't imagine what it would have been like having to watch him die.

"It's okay. I'll deal with it. My dad on the other hand, I don't know. But we don't get away with telling our parents what to do even when we're grown do we?"

She laughed half-heartedly. "Yeah, probably not."

"Have you talked to your mom again?"

"No."

"Are you that mad at her?"

"Not exactly. It's like there's this big space between us that wasn't there when I was growing up."

"You're grown babe. It happens."

"I know. But the whole thing with Ned. . . I never told anyone about it until I told you so I don't know why it should be hard not to talk about it. But it feels like I'm going to say something to her without meaning to."

"Tell her. You'll feel a thousand times better if you do."

"Are you kidding me? Well, it might make me feel better, but it sure as hell won't make her feel better."

"Do you still think that she doesn't have a right to know?"

"It's not that. I just don't want to cause problems. It's already done. There's nothing that can be done to change it now."

"I still think you should tell her, but I'll shut up about it. I'll let you decide when you want to go out with me and what you want to do."

They agreed on a dinner date a few nights later. Jess figured dinner was safer than the movies. She wasn't sure how she was going to control her overactive hormones when she was around Daylin, let alone his.

They spent several nights together, doing no more than kissing. Jess was feeling a lot of sexual frustration, but she knew that going to bed with Daylin again would not be a good idea.

Soon it was time to meet Selana and the kids.

She wasn't sure how could she be so terrified and excited at the same time. She was wired on caffeine because she'd drunk four cups of coffee. She'd smoked three cigarettes and now there was no more delaying it. She was going to meet Selana, Craig and Chelsea.

She picked up her overnight bag and her purse and went out the door, locking the house behind her.

She turned the music up loud and tried not to think as she drove. She was so nervous she was sweating in the unseasonably warm October weather so she rolled down her window, not caring that her hair was going to be a tangled mess by the time she reached her stepmother's house. Her father's house.

It was early afternoon when she pulled up in front of Selana's house. It was a modest three story with a well-kept yard. There was a basketball hoop in front of the garage and three bikes locked up with chains.

She took a deep breath as she got out of her car. By the time she had crossed to the trunk Selana had come out the front door.

Her stepmother, who looked even more like her mother in person, walked across the driveway.

"Jess. It's so good to see you." She looked almost as nervous as Jess felt.

"Hi Selana. It's good to see you too."

"Did you have any trouble finding the house?"

"No. I was able to print out a map."

"That's good. Come in honey."

Selana led her inside. The house was neat, though cluttered. The walls were covered in pictures. Jess suddenly stood face to face with her father's life after he'd left her. She blinked back tears as she looked at the family portraits. He looked so happy, like such a proud father.

Selana led her upstairs to the guest room where she'd be staying. Their conversation was stilted at first, but when Selana started talking about her children she started to open up more. Jess's heart stopped pounding so hard.

Once they'd eaten lunch Selana disappeared into her bedroom and came back with the last letter that her father had written her. Jess couldn't bring herself to read it at first. It felt so strange being in her father's house with him being gone even if Selana was trying her best to put her at ease.

Finally, she opened the letter and started to read: 'Jess, There are no words to tell you how sorry I am. I know that by the time you read this, I may be gone. It makes my heart ache to think that I wasn't able to see your beautiful face again. I don't want you to think for an instant that I forgot you or stopped thinking of you. You were my world and it killed me to walk away from you. I thought of you every day. There was always a part of me that was broken without you. When you miss watching your child grow you can't help but feel something's missing. You can't help but wonder what that child's life would have been like if you'd been in it. I hope you can understand that I couldn't take you away from your mother. Little girls need their mothers. Little girls need their fathers too, and believe me baby I never wanted to leave you without a father. I never wished anything but the best for you. It hurt me so much to not be a part of your life. But though I couldn't be there, and it hurt me to think that you could live without me, when I never for one instant wanted to live without you, I always wanted you to be happy. Your smile always brightened my day. I may not have always made the right choices, but I never wanted to hurt you. I loved you until my last breath and if there is an after, I will love you until the end of time. I can never tell you how sorry I am that I couldn't be there to see you grow, but I can tell you that I loved you from the moment that I knew there was a you. I cherished every moment that I had with you and wouldn't trade it for anything. My love always and forever, Daddy'

She wasn't halfway through before the tears started. Selana crossed to her and took her hand. When she had finished the letter, she let herself be enveloped in her stepmother's embrace. It was like déjà vu. Selana wore the same flowery perfume that her mother had worn when she was young.

"He said goodnight to you and told you that he loved you every night," Selana said softly, handing Jess a tissue.

"I wish. . ." She trailed off because it was too much to say out loud. It still hurt so much to think that her father was gone.

"I know honey. I know."

The front door burst open. Chelsea walked in. She looked shy, though she and Jess had been texting back and forth.

"Hi Mom. Hi Jess."

"Hey Chels. Where's your brother?"

"With Steph."

"Did he give you a ride home like he was supposed to?"

Chelsea shook her head. "No. Krissa's mom gave me a ride."

"If you would have called I would have come and picked you up."

"Krissa's mom was already there. They were coming out this way to visit Krissa's grandma anyway. It wasn't a big deal."

"I thought you had dress rehearsal for the play."

"It's at five thirty. Craig doesn't have to be there. That's why he took off with Steph. Can we go to the mall after I finish my homework?"

"Is that where your brother is?"

"I doubt it. They're probably at her house having sex. His car stinks. He let her smoke in it again."

Selana sighed. "I'll talk to him. Again. Do her parents know she's smoking?"

"Probably. They're dipshits. I heard Craig telling Trainor that her parents caught them doing it and they still won't let her get birth control. I think they want her to get pregnant because they think if she does you'll let her move in with us. Her mom's boyfriend went to jail again. Somebody said he was dealing drugs. Maybe you should let her move in Mom. I don't think they'd do it right under your nose."

Selana gave her daughter a dirty look. "Enough with the gossip Chelsea. I don't want to hear it and I'm sure your sister doesn't either. Go. Do your homework. If you get done quickly enough we'll go to the mall. If not, we'll go after your practice. I'll call your brother and see if he and Steph want to meet us for dinner."

"Okay. Sorry Jess." Backpack in hand; she turned towards the stairs and her bedroom. Then she turned back and said "You're even prettier than your pictures Jess."

"Thank you."

Selana laughed once her daughter was out of earshot. "I tell her she looks like you but she doesn't believe me."

"She does. It's so weird."

"I'm sure it must be. When I first saw a picture of your mother I thought it was a joke. Then I heard her voice and I really thought your father was putting me on. How he managed to fall in love with two women that looked so similar, I don't know."

Jess didn't know either, so she just nodded.

"I'm going to give Craig a call."

"I think I'll go have a cigarette."

Selana made a face. "I did it when I was young too. But it is a nasty habit. I wish you'd quit Jess."

"I will. Someday."

Selana sighed and then laughed. "Sorry. You're a grown woman. I won't lecture you anymore. Your brother on the other hand, I don't seem to do anything but lately."

Selana dialed her phone. Jess went outside.

Once she was done with her cigarette, she went back inside. Selana was still on the phone, having what sounded like a heated conversation with her son. Chelsea came back downstairs, looked at her mother and rolled her eyes.

"I didn't like Steph at first. She's so pretty, but everyone said she was a slut. She's got Craig wrapped around her finger, but I think she really does love him. I just don't want to be an aunt at fifteen."

"I can see that."

Selana was off the phone. "Did you get your homework done Chelsea?"

"Yes Mom. Can we go to the mall?"

Selana looked at her watch. "Fine, but no complaining when it's time to go."

"Yes, Mother. Can we go to the barbeque place for dinner?"

"If it's okay with Jess, I suppose."

Jess nodded. The drive to the mall was short. Chelsea wanted to take pictures in the picture booth, but there was only room for two people. They ended up having four different sets taken. It was strange for Jess to look at the pictures. You could easily have mistaken Selana for her mother.

Chelsea dragged them into clothing stores, a boutique, two music stores and a book store. She seemed to have an endless amount of energy. She was smart and bright and cheerful. Jess liked her sister even more, having met her.

Since the dress rehearsal would take two hours at least, she and Selana dropped Chelsea off and went to the movies.

A friend's mother, who Jess later found out was the mother of the boy that Chelsea wanted to date, dropped her off at the restaurant. They were seated and had ordered by the time Craig and his girlfriend showed up.

Steph was beautiful. She was a tall redhead with bright green eyes.

Dinner was tense at first. Steph had had an argument with her mother and was very upset. Craig wanted her to spend the night, but Selana wasn't agreeable until she found out that Steph's mother had been arrested on an outstanding warrant and her son's girlfriend had no one else to stay with.

So Jess ended up being moved into the room next to her brother so that his girlfriend would be less tempted to sneak into his room. It didn't work, because a little after midnight when the house was quiet, she heard Craig's door open. She didn't mention it to Selana the next morning. She had a feeling Selana had known anyway.

Friday was a busy day. Selana received a call from Steph's mother. She was going to be in jail for a while and begged Selana to take temporary custody before social services stepped in. So she spent the morning with her stepmother while she filed for custody of her son's girlfriend. It was an interesting morning. Selana wasn't the biggest fan of Craig's relationship with Steph, but she didn't have the heart to refuse the girl's mother.

Craig was thrilled, though Chelsea made faces after they picked her up after school. Her brother's girlfriend was moving in with them and she still wasn't allowed to date.

The play was a surprise for Jess. It was very well put together for a high school production and Chelsea was a wonderful actress. Marc, the boy that she liked, had a lesser role. Chelsea raved about his performance when they went out for pizza afterwards.

Saturday morning, they went out for breakfast and ran into Marc's family. After talking with Marc's parents, Selana agreed to let Chelsea go out with Marc as long as Craig and Steph went along as well. Chelsea beamed and even the shy Marc seemed happy.

She said goodbye to her newfound family at the house, exchanging hugs with everyone, even Steph, who she figured would be her future sister-in-law. It had been a nice visit. Jess left with a small sense of peace. She still felt guilty taking the $35,000 check, but her stepmother wouldn't let her leave without it.

She took a small vial of her father's ashes that Selana had had made into a necklace.

Chapter 11

From then on she spent every weekend with Daylin. Though she was spending every weekend with him she still wasn't sure if she was ready to meet his parents. But it was Thanksgiving before she knew it and there was no turning back.

She was nervous. Daylin's mother wasn't doing well and no one was sure of how much longer she'd make it. Jess didn't want to intrude on what she felt might be Daylin's last holiday with his mother, but he'd insisted.

He met her at the door on the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving and gave her a kiss like he hadn't seen her in months though they'd been together the weekend before. "I missed you."

She laughed. "You just saw me. We talk on the phone every day."

He grinned. "I know. But I love you."

She still hadn't said it back though sometimes she felt it. It would be so easy to say 'I love you, too.' She just wanted to be sure she meant it. Things were going well between them. She wasn't worried that he was seeing someone else because she didn't know when he'd have time. He was working overtime, talking to her on the phone at least once a day, helping Cam and Lucy. And there hadn't been a weekend they hadn't spent together since they'd gotten back together.

They were going out to dinner with Cameron and Lucy and then to the movies. Lucy had grown on her. She reminded Jess of Starla somewhat. They both said what they were thinking.

Lucy and Cameron were waiting for them outside the theater. Lucy didn't look pregnant though Daylin said she was already complaining about her back hurting. She was still slim and beautiful.

The movie almost made Jess fall asleep. It did make Lucy fall asleep. Daylin teased Cameron about Lucy's soft snores.

Dinner was nice. They talked about the wedding and Lucy's baby shower. The shower was still a few months down the road, but Lucy wanted to make sure that Jess knew she was invited.

Daylin had talked her into staying the night with him, and she figured that tonight was going to be the night he talked her into having sex with him. She had been feeling the sexual frustration building up between them and was looking forward to letting some of it out. So she was disappointed when he turned the light off and kissed her goodnight. She was tempted to seduce him, but she was tired herself and figured he was tired too.

She awoke to the smell of coffee the next morning. She went out to the kitchen and found Daylin shirtless, standing in front of the stove. He drove her crazy when he did that. She loved to see him without a shirt on; his chest still made her drool. But she was always afraid that he was going to burn himself. He just laughed at her and reminded her that he used to cook naked.

Breakfast was light since they were headed to his aunt's for dinner. It was going to be a packed house. Daylin's brother and sister weren't coming. It would be his parents, his aunt and uncle, Cameron and Lucy, Cameron's sister and her boyfriend, Lucy's mother and her boyfriend and Jess and Daylin.

By the time they left the house, Daylin dressed in a collared shirt and slacks, and Jess in the dress that Daylin had convinced her to buy for the occasion, almost everyone had arrived. Daylin had to park down the block.

Introductions were made. Daylin's parents weren't there yet. His mother wasn't feeling well and there was talk of them not coming at all. Daylin looked disappointed, but tried not to let it show.

His parents did show up. The turkey had just been taken out of the oven and the table was set and waiting.

Jess had to swallow hard when she saw Daylin's mother. She looked like she had one foot in the grave. It broke her heart to know that Daylin was watching his mother waste away. He'd showed her pictures of his mother before she'd gotten sick. The change was extreme. She went from barely looking her fifty-three years to looking a sickly eighty.

His dad looked tired. Daylin had a tense conversation with his father after he'd made introductions and ended up storming out of the house. It was several minutes before he came back. Jess was stuck sitting uncomfortably next to his mother and an empty chair.

He seemed in better spirits when he came back though. The rest of the meal went well. The food was abundant and tasted wonderful. Jess was stuffed and barely made room for desert.

Daylin disappeared again after dinner. She went outside and smoked a cigarette with Lucy's mom and Cameron's sister's boyfriend Marty, expecting to find him outside, but there was no sign of him or his car.

It was over an hour later when he returned. She caught him giving Cameron a thumbs up sign. Lucy gave her a look but Daylin didn't say anything, just took his place next to her on the couch.

They left a little after six p.m. They were among the first to leave. Daylin's parents had left shortly before he had disappeared.

He let her drive home but left her sitting in the car, mumbling something about needing to check something in the house. She had smoked two cigarettes before he came back out with a huge grin on his face.

She followed him into the house and couldn't believe her eyes. The living room was filled with scented candles. There was a trail of rose petals that ran from the front door and disappeared into the bedroom. It made sense now why he'd asked her what kind of scented candles she'd liked the weekend before. His whole house smelled like strawberries and vanilla.

He led her into the bedroom where he had exchanged his flannel sheets for satin ones. There were more scented candles in the bedroom. The trail of rose petals ended in the bathroom where he'd ran a bubble bath.

He kissed her and then helped her out of her clothes. "Do you like it?"

"Yes. Thank you Daylin."

He helped her into the tub and kneeled on the outside, helping her wash herself since the tub wasn't big enough for two. She laughed at him and told him to climb in her with her anyway.

It was an incredible night. They made love half the night. At three a.m. when Daylin teased her that they might as well stay up and hit the black Friday sales, she threw his pillow at him and said "No. We'll clean up the mess in the morning. Goodnight."

She almost told him she loved him that night, but something was still holding her back.

Chapter 12

When Jess woke up the next morning, Daylin wasn't in bed. She stretched and smiled, hoping he'd come back to bed soon. She had a feeling that today was going to be the day that she finally told him she loved him.

Daylin returned to the bedroom and they made love again. They made love half the day. Jess did tell him that she loved him. Things were good between her and Daylin until she happened to read a text message on his phone the second week in December. He was still talking to Kateisha though he claimed he hadn't seen her after the time Jess had caught them together. It was too much for Jess. She broke up with him, though he still claimed he hadn't done anything wrong; and made it her duty to figure out how she was going to get out of Welton and away from her memories of him.

One night she was working with Starla when Starla looked at her and said "That guy is giving you the eye Jess. And damn is he hot."

Jess hid a sigh. The man she figured Starla was talking about was married. She'd seen the wedding ring on his finger when he'd walked in fifteen minutes ago. Jess was too depressed to think about men anyway, married or not. She'd been through so much with Daylin that she figured she'd had her share of man troubles for the next seven years. She was seriously considering leaving Welton, without even having a destination in mind. She was afraid to admit that what was keeping her there was Daylin. She had fallen for him so hard that she felt pathetic even thinking about it. But the last thing to solve her problems would be messing around with a married man.

"Why don't you take his order then?"

Starla gave her a pout. "You're no fun Jess. Yes, I know Daylin is an asshole, but everyone already knew Daylin was an asshole. Don't say I didn't warn you honey."

All the more reason to leave Welton, Jess thought. "I know. But having sex with a married man never solved anything."

Starla winked at her. "It has for me. Several times."

The good looking man held his hand up. Starla turned brightly to a man that had approached the side of the bar they were standing on, leaving Jess to take care of the guy who was now definitely giving her the eye.

Jess let her sigh out before she approached him. He gave her an easy smile and she returned it, hoping that hers didn't look as fake as it felt. "Hi. What can I get you?"

"Can I get another beer please?"

"Sure."

She refilled his glass from the tap and placed the glass back on the coaster in front of him. He handed her a bill and said "Keep the change."

"Thanks."

"What's your name?"

"Jessica. Jess I mean. Everyone calls me Jess."

"I'm Luke. It's nice to meet you."

"You too."

She gave him another smile and then turned away from him, wanting to get away as quickly as possible. She wasn't sure why, but she had felt something pass between her and the good looking married man. She didn't like it and cursed Daylin once again for awakening her sex drive.

When she got to the register, she noticed that the bill Luke had given her was a $50 bill. The beer he was drinking was $3 so he'd given her a $47 tip. Jess almost went back to him and insisted that she couldn't take such a tip, but she didn't want to face him again. She felt herself blushing when Starla approached her, a huge grin on her face.

"Jess, your face is as red as a tomato. Don't tell me you've never wanted to know what it felt like to be with a married man. It sounds terrible, but it is such a delicious thrill knowing that you're with a man that belongs to someone else."

Jess made a face. "Starla, why would I want to have sex with a married man, especially after what happened with Daylin?"

"Kateisha is a slut. To be honest with you hon, though Daylin is an asshole, I think he might be telling the truth about not messing around with her. She hates the fact that Ozzy isn't his and I can easily imagine her wanting to mess up what you two had. Then again, I don't think even you could tie him down for long. If it wasn't her, it would have been someone else eventually. It's better you broke up with him now rather than later, because in the end, a man like Daylin is never going to bring you anything other than heartache. I don't know what Amanda saw in him. It wasn't just him that felt her loss. The whole town felt it."

"I know. I don't think I could ever compete with her ghost anyway. I don't think another woman will ever really be able to take her place."

"So do it with the married guy and forget about Daylin. I didn't mean to make you feel bad with what I said about Amanda. It's not you that's not good enough for Daylin. It's Daylin that's not good enough for you."

"He gave us a $47 tip."

"Gave you a $47 tip. He wants you girl. Go for it. In fact," Starla said with a grin "I'm going to go over there right now and tell him that you want him as much as he wants you."

"Don't you dare."

"When's the last time you got laid Jess?"

"That's none of your business."

"I thought it had been awhile. I'd better hurry. Mr. Wonderful is leaving."

Before Jess could stop her, Starla crossed to the man. She smiled at him and motioned for him to lean over so that she could whisper into his ear. Jess wanted to strangle her fellow bartender when she motioned to Jess. A smile crossed the man's face. He looked at Jess, but she quickly looked away, her face feeling like it was on fire.

The bar got busy then and remained that way until the end of the shift. By closing time, Jess hoped that Starla would have forgotten about the married man. She hoped Starla hadn't done anything as stupid as give him her phone number.

Starla turned to her when the last customer had left. "So Miss Jessica are you going to take a chance on the married hottie? He said he'd be waiting for you at his motel room. It's a dump, but you'll be able to forget all about that when he's naked in front of you."

Jess rolled her eyes. "There is no way in Hell I am meeting that man at his motel room. No matter how hot he is."

"C'mon Jess, live a little. Don't tell me you've never had a one-night stand. If it had been me he was interested in, I wouldn't be standing here right now."

"Why don't you show up at his room then?"

Jess turned away from Starla, busying herself with cleaning. Starla wouldn't let up though. "Jess, why would you want to pass up being with a guy that looks like that? Do you know who he is?"

"I don't care who he is."

"He's a song writer. A pretty good one too. He might even write a song about the mysterious beautiful bartender he had wild, passionate sex with."

Jess snorted. "Give me a break. If that guy told you he's a famous song writer he was lying. What in the hell would he be doing in Welton?"

"He's not super famous, but he is a song writer. After I told him that you wanted to go to bed with him, it dawned on me that he looked familiar. He told me his name when he gave his room number so I searched it on the internet and this came up."

Starla held her phone out to Jess. Jess found herself looking at a picture of the man on a website. It listed songs he had written. His name was Luke Stone. Some of the songs on the list sounded familiar.

"I've heard some of those songs myself. The man's got talent. I'll bet he has all kinds of talent in the bedroom too. Tell me how he is Jess."

Jess shook her head. "Yeah right."

They finished the clean-up and then parted ways in the parking lot. Jess didn't look at the motel Luke was staying in as she passed it on the way to her apartment. She was tired and was thinking about nothing besides going to bed. Her phone chimed a text message as soon as she had unlocked the door to her apartment. She ignored it until she was inside, then reading from Starla 'I lied when I told you I didn't give him your phone number.'

Jess wanted to scream. She texted back 'Dammit Starla. Why in the hell did you do that to me?'

'You've got sexual frustration building up girl. Take a chance for once in your life. Talk to ya later girl.'

Jess shook her head and wondered what she would do if Luke called her. Ignore him of course she thought, but when her phone rang a few minutes later as she was getting out of the shower she answered without thinking.

"Hello."

"Is this Jess?" She recognized his voice even before he said "This is Luke."

Jess had no idea what to say. She wanted to tell him that Starla had been lying to him, that she had no plans to go to bed with him. She didn't think she could look at herself in the mirror if she slept with a married man anyway. Though if she wanted to be completely honest with herself, she had found herself even more attracted to him after she had found out some of the songs he had written.

"Hi."

"I was surprised when your friend told me that you were interested in me. I know I was staring at you, but it's hard not to. You're beautiful."

"Thank you. Luke, I think there's been a misunderstanding. You're an attractive man, but I saw the wedding ring on your finger."

Luke sighed. "I'm sorry. I think I just need someone to talk to. I do find you attractive, but with as much as I had convinced myself that I was ready to make a move with you after your friend told me you were interested, I don't think I would be ready to make such a move either. You do look like you need someone to talk to as well though. Would you like to have a drink with me?"

"Um, I don't think that would be a good idea."

"I see. Well, I am sorry I disturbed you then. Have a nice night Jess."

"You too." Jess started to hang up the phone, then said "Wait, Luke. Starla showed me your website, and the songs you've written. You're really talented."

"Thank you. I don't feel that way so much anymore. I have been dealing with some mixed emotions lately and I have a bad feeling that it's affecting my song writing."

"That's too bad." Jess was sure she was probably going to regret it later, but she added "I'll have a drink with you."

"Great. I would offer to come to you, but I had a couple of drinks after I left the bar and probably shouldn't be driving."

"I'll see you in a few minutes then. It's room 120?"

"Yes. Thank you Jess."

"You're welcome."

She dressed quickly in jeans and a t-shirt and headed out the door, lighting a cigarette on the way to her car. She wouldn't let herself think about what she was doing as she drove the short distance to the motel. She almost turned and walked away when Luke answered her knock. He was dressed in nothing but a pair of drawstring pajama bottoms and he looked damned good.

Jess was sure she was blushing as he shut the door of the room behind them. He gestured for her to sit on the bed and then returned his attention to the drink he had turned to prepare at the desk.

When he sat down on the bed next to her after handing her a drink a few minutes later, Jess wanted to move. She was all too aware of Luke's closeness. He smelled so good. What was worse, his scent reminded her of Daylin.

Luke cleared his throat. Jess took a sip of her drink. It was sweet and went down smooth. She knew she was going to have to be careful and not drink too much. She was feeling vulnerable.

"Jess, I'm sure this seems strange to you, but I was drawn to you at the bar. I am a mostly happily married man, but looking at you made me want to take care of you, even if it was only for the night."

Jess swallowed hard. What was it about her that made men feel like they needed to take care of her she wondered? Besides the fact that none of the men in her life had ever been very good at taking care of her. Not her father, certainly not her stepfather and most definitely not Daylin. And it had been all too easy to fool herself into thinking that Daylin would take care of her.

"Luke, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I'm going to go now."

Jess started to get up, but Luke put a gentle hand on her arm. "I'm sorry Jess. I've had too much to drink and can't seem to stop putting my foot in my mouth. I was telling the truth when I said I was drawn to you. I thought that you felt it too, but I won't mention it again if you don't want me to. Do you like your drink?"

Jess nodded. There were many things she wanted to say to Luke, but she didn't think it would be a good idea to say any of them. She was sure that if she said half of what she was thinking out loud, they would both be naked on his bed within minutes.

"So you really like my songs?"

"Of course. Starla told me that you looked familiar. I guess maybe you were familiar to me too, but it didn't dawn on me who you were until I saw the website."

"Thank you." Luke sighed. "Have you ever wondered if your life went in the wrong direction Jess? Even if you're happy and things are good, do you ever feel like you're not living the life you should be?"

Jess had to fight an urge to laugh. She took a sip of her drink and wondered if she should tell him. She had a feeling telling this stranger the truth about her life would put her in an even more vulnerable position. She drained the rest of her drink and turned back to Luke, knowing that she was going to tell him the truth anyway.

"Yeah. I even felt that way sometimes when I was a kid. My dad left us when I was three. My mom married a man that paid me to leave the house when I was 18 because he wanted to have a family with my mom that I wasn't a part of. So I tried to find my dad to find out why he left us, why he left me. I had no luck. I came here as a last ditch effort to find him because he grew up here. I end up calling my mom after six years and she tells me that my father is dead and that he went back to another woman when he left us. That he'd loved her all along, but that he'd wanted to see me when I was a kid and that she wouldn't let him because she didn't think I could handle it." Jess let out a sigh of her own. "So yeah, I know how it feels not to live the life it feels like I should be living."

"I'm sorry Jess. We try so hard as parents to do what feels like it's right for our kids, but no matter how hard we try, we don't always make the right choices or realize the consequences of the choices we make. Let me make you another drink."

Jess nodded, though she knew another drink was the last thing she needed. "How many kids do you have?" She figured that at least was a safe subject.

"Two. But there was a time when I wasn't sure if my son was mine."

Jess took the drink he handed her. "I'm sorry. That must have been hard for you."

"It was, but it's one of those things that makes me wonder if I've made mistakes in my life. You see, I caused my wife to sleep with the other man."

"Uh okay." Jess took a sip of her drink. It was just as good as the first.

"It's a long story. Is it your father's death that makes you look so down Jess? You look as if there is something beneath your smile. Don't get me wrong, you look even more beautiful when you smile, but it looks as if there is something that keeps you from really smiling."

Did she want to tell him about Daylin Jess wondered? Ah what the hell she thought. She took another drink and then sat the cup aside on the nightstand. She brushed against Luke's arm and had to hide a sigh. He really was an attractive man.

"Well, I met this guy the first night I was in town. We got involved pretty quickly. I fell for him pretty hard. That's a pretty long story too."

Luke smiled. "I don't mind listening. I'll even tell you my long story if you want."

Jess smiled back at him. It felt good to talk to him. Luke was almost as easy to talk to as he was to look at. "Deal. Well, I'm pretty sure he cheated on me almost the whole time we were together. But I should have known better. He was an admitted player when I met him. I guess once a cheater always a cheater huh? Oh, I'm sorry."

Luke chuckled. "I guess I'm not the only one sticking their foot in their mouth tonight. It's okay Jess. It can be hard to get past infidelity in a relationship. Especially when you feel as if you are torn between two people that you love, one from your past and another that is supposed to be your future. Can I make a confession to you Jess?"

"Sure."

"There were times during my wife's pregnancy that I hoped that the child she carried wasn't mine. I love my children dearly, but sometimes it seemed as if things would be set right if the child Kimber carried were to be Paul's. Have you ever loved someone, but knew at the same time that they weren't the one you were meant to be with?"

"Not really. I thought I was in love with Daylin, and it felt right to be with him. But we weren't together long enough for me to feel like he was the one I was meant to be with. I'd sort of given up on finding that person. Romantic love wasn't a factor in my life. I was just trying to find my dad while avoiding my mom and stepdad. I guess it doesn't do a lot of good to run away from things though. They always have a way of catching up with you. I do kind of know what you mean though. I sometimes wondered if I'd ever live up to the ghost of Daylin's dead fiancé."

"Hmm. Dead fiancé huh?"

"Yeah. She was the perfect girl that he was with in high school that happened to die when she was pregnant with his child. It's such a sad story, and I always felt bad thinking that I'd never live up to his memories of her, but it's hard to have a relationship when the ghost of someone else is between you."

"Yes. I do know how that feels. I feel as if my wife has sometimes felt that way. When I said I caused my wife to be unfaithful, well, it was true in a way or more ways than one I suppose. I was once a player like your Daylin. Then I met Sierra. We had a wonderful time together. It wasn't supposed to be serious. We didn't think either of us even wanted a serious relationship, but we fell in love all the same. Then I screwed things up by putting too much pressure on her. She was only eighteen. I was only twenty-two, but I knew that Sierra was the one I was meant to be with. Time passed and we moved on to other relationships. I married my wife Kimber. Sierra met Paul and they got married. She was pregnant when she walked back into my life. We started an affair. It felt so right. We tried to pretend that it didn't, that we had made the right choices when we moved on with our lives, but we both knew the truth. Sierra and I fit together. It's right. I never really moved on. I don't think she did either. I love my wife, my family, but Sierra is the woman I was meant to be with. Kimber had sex with Paul when they found out about our infidelity and Kimber confessed this to me during her pregnancy with our son. I felt so guilty when I had secret hopes that the child was Paul's so that Sierra and I would get one last chance to make it right."

"Does Sierra feel the same way?"

"I don't know. I haven't had the courage to talk to her about it. She seems to be happy with Paul. I know she loves him, but I believe that deep down she feels the same way that I do."

"Talk to her."

"Have you talked to Daylin?"

"What's the point? We already tried twice. I don't even know why I'm still in Welton. I should leave."

"You have hope for things to turn out right between you and Daylin. Sometimes it doesn't take you long to know that the person you're with is the right one for you. It doesn't mean that things aren't going to get in the way though. But you can't turn your back on it Jess, if you do you'll always wonder. Like me."

"But how can you trust someone that's been unfaithful?"

"It sounds as if Daylin is afraid of what he's feeling and is sabotaging your relationship. Lay it all on the line for him Jess. Tell him how you feel. Tell him that you're afraid too, but that what you two could have together is worth it."

"I don't know Luke. Between his cheating and my being not only being afraid of a commitment since I've never really had one, but of not living up to Amanda, it almost seems like too much trouble."

"Good things don't come easy Jess. I have a proposition for you. You can say no, but I do believe it would relieve some of your tension."

Jess reached for her glass and brought it to her mouth, swallowing it in one gulp. Her body was ready for Luke to say what she had a feeling he was going to say. Her nipples had hardened and she was even more aware of the fact that Luke looked really good without a shirt on. She wasn't sure if she was drunk enough to sleep with a married man with kids though, even with as complicated as his marriage sounded to be.

She stayed silent. Luke sighed. "I'm sorry Jess. I said the wrong thing again. You'll have to forgive me."

Jess licked lips that had suddenly gone dry. "It's okay."

Luke gave her a smile that left her weak in the knees. "I would like to make love to you. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since the moment I saw you. And I believe that we may have a way to get back at both my wife and your boyfriend."

"Um." Jess didn't want to be a revenge screw.

"Bad way to put it. I guess I am losing my touch with words. We make love, release some of the tension I'm sure you've had building up. Release some of my tension. I would love to please you Jess. I want to feel every inch of your body." He touched her face. "You are so beautiful."

"Thank you." She wanted to kiss him. She could almost feel his lips on hers.

"If we make love and keep it a secret, we will be getting back both at my wife and your boyfriend. No one ever needs to know."

Luke kissed the side of her neck, bringing his hand down to gently massage her nipple through her shirt. A wetness bloomed between her legs. Jess knew she needed to stop him or she was going to let him do to her whatever he wanted to do to her.

"Luke. We can't do this."

"This is right Jess. Tonight is right. I feel it and I know you do too. Let me take care of you tonight. I promise that it will be worth it."

Jess bit her lip. She wasn't sure that it would be worth it, no matter how good Luke might make her feel. But her hormones wouldn't shut up. Her body was making it very clear how it felt about the idea.

Luke gave her a gentle kiss, teasing her with his tongue, letting her know that there was plenty more to come if she let go and let him give her what it was obvious that they both wanted. Jess closed her eyes. When she opened them she looked right into Luke's hazel eyes and she was done. Luke had bedroom eyes. The promises they held were suddenly too much for her to take.

She nodded, and then left the rest up to Luke. He quickly stripped himself of his pajama bottoms and then took his time undressing Jess. He treasured her body with his hands and his mouth. Jess wanted him so badly by the time they had sex that the thought of a condom only briefly crossed her mind.

Luke made love to Jess all night long. He made her forget about Daylin. He made her forget about everything. The realization of what she'd done set in in the morning though, when she woke up with a hell of a headache and the first thing that she noticed was the wedding band on Luke's finger.

She crept out of bed and dressed quickly. She needed to urinate but didn't want to chance waking him up. So she held it until she got home. She took a shower and couldn't believe what she'd done. She'd had drunk unprotected sex with a married man over and over. And she remembered a distant promise to keep it a secret. She sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't think there was much of a chance between her and Daylin, but at least she hadn't been the married person that was in love with another woman.

A few days later she was going through the local newspaper and saw an obituary that made her pause. Daylin's mother had died. She tried to call him, but all of her calls went straight to voicemail. Her decision to leave Welton was cemented until December 23rd when her phone rang. It was Lucy.

"Hello."

"Jess. Have you heard from Daylin lately?"

"No. Why? Is everything okay?"

"No. His mom died and he won't leave the house. He won't talk to anyone, even Cam. I was hoping you could get through to him."

"He won't return my phone calls, e-mails, anything."

Lucy sighed. "Everyone is worried about him. Are you still coming to the wedding?"

"I guess. I feel kind of weird about coming."

"Don't. We want you here. Maybe he'll talk to you if he sees you. Maybe you can snap him out of it."

"I don't know. I hope so."

"Me, too. I have to go. Thank you Jess. I'll see you."

"Bye Lucy."

It made sense now Jess thought. She was sure that Daylin wouldn't take his mother's death well, but she'd thought that he'd at least let her help him through it. She still wasn't sure about going to the wedding, but maybe Lucy was right. Maybe if he saw her, he would open up to her. She hoped so. She'd missed him.

She almost turned around three times and went back home on the short drive to the church on Cameron and Lucy's wedding day. She felt even more uncomfortable walking into the church alone. She didn't see Daylin, but that wasn't a surprise since he was the best man.

She took a seat in the back and waited for it to be over. Why was she here Jess wondered? Daylin obviously wanted nothing to do with her. She hated to think that he was self-destructing with the death of his mother, but if he didn't want her help to deal with it what was she supposed to do? She couldn't force him to let her in. As much as it felt like sometimes that he'd forced her to let him in, he hadn't. She missed him, but she was afraid to see him.

Finally, Cameron and Daylin appeared. Cameron looked happy. Daylin looked like he'd lost weight. His cheeks looked hollow and his suit seemed to hang on his frame. Looking at him made her sad. He wouldn't meet her eyes.

She hoped that she'd be able to sneak out soon after the reception started. She hadn't known what to get them, so she'd gotten them a gift certificate and hoped that they'd be able to find something.

She turned as Lucy started down the aisle. She was led by Cameron's father since hers was conspicuously absent. She looked beautiful. The dress hid the fact that she was pregnant. Jess didn't know who looked happier, Cameron or Lucy.

She zoned out during the vows and came back to herself when the newly married couple shared their first kiss. It broke her heart. She missed the feeling that someone loved her.

The reception was being held next door in the community center. She lost track of Daylin in the crowd of people leaving the church and walked out the doors by herself. She lit a cigarette, stalling for time.

Lucy and Cameron passed by. She thought she was safe until Lucy caught her eye, said something to Cameron and came back to her. She started to put out her cigarette, but Lucy waved her off. "Don't bother. I like the smell." She looked Jess up and down. "You look good. Thank you for coming."

"You're welcome. It was a nice ceremony. You look beautiful."

Lucy laughed. "I look pregnant. I feel fat."

"You're not fat."

"Of course I am. Did you see Daylin?"

"Not other than during the ceremony."

Lucy sighed. "Someone needs to get through to that boy. He won't talk to anybody. Shuts himself up in his house all day. It's a good thing his boss will let him work from home or he wouldn't have a job anymore."

"That's too bad." At the same time, she had no idea what Lucy expected her to do. If Cameron who was like his brother, wasn't able to get through to him how was she supposed to?

"I had hoped that seeing you might be enough for him. He's got to know that he's going to lose you for good if he doesn't cut his shit out."

"Uh, yeah."

"Well sweetie, if you get a chance, talk to him." Jess nodded. "Thank you. You gonna stick around for a while?"

"I don't know."

"I'll see you at the reception. There's plenty of food, open bar, some crappy band that Cameron found at the last minute since the good one cancelled. If I don't see you again before we head out, I appreciate you coming and hope everything works out between you and Daylin."

"Thank you." She finished her cigarette and watched Lucy walk away. It was good that someone was happy.

She went into the reception hall. It was crowded and noisy. She added her gift to the stack on the table and found a seat at a table in the back. She wasn't hungry and as much as she felt like getting drunk, she wasn't going to do it.

She was playing a game on her phone when a hand fell on her shoulder. She looked up into a bloodshot pair of hazel eyes. "I need to talk to you," Daylin said. "C'mon." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet.

She was silent as she followed him down the hall away from the party. He tried two doors before he found one that opened. They entered a tiny room with a desk in the middle. It looked like an office. She briefly wondered why the door wasn't looked. Daylin looked around, seemed not to find what he wanted, and sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing. Come here." He pressed her against the wall and started kissing her with a strange mixture of passion and what almost felt like desperation.

When he pulled back to take a breath she said "I thought you wanted to talk."

"I need you." Before she knew it, he was unbuttoning his pants.

"Daylin what the hell are you doing? There are people everywhere."

Not bothering to button his pants, he crossed to the door and locked it. "Good enough?"

"No. We broke up and we haven't talked in weeks. You didn't even tell me your mother died. I wanted to be there for you, but you wouldn't let me. Now I see you and all you want to do is get down my pants?"

"I can't think straight right now okay? I need you Jess. I need you to make it all go away. Please."

She bit her lip. She didn't think that sex would solve Daylin's problems, but if letting him screw her against the wall in a public building at his cousin's wedding reception would get him to talk to her, maybe it was worth it.

She stepped out of her shoes and started to take off her panty hose trying to remember if she'd taken her birth control pill that morning since she hadn't been the best at doing it after she'd gotten her prescription. Before she could think further, Daylin said "Don't bother with that."

His pants were already undone, his boxers hanging to his knees. He pressed her back against the wall, fumbling with her panties. She couldn't believe she was doing this. This was worse than screwing him in his backyard, almost worse even than screwing Luke.

It didn't seem to bother him though. He groaned as he entered her. Jess wasn't comfortable. Her major support was the grip of his hands on her hips. He didn't look at her as he moved within her. She finally closed her eyes.

Only minutes later, he was finished. Still not looking at her, he pulled away and had his shirt tucked back into his pants before she'd started to pull her panty hose up. She tore them and though it was cold outside and she knew her legs would freeze, she took them off and shoved them into her purse.

Hand on the door he said "There's a bathroom down the hall if you need to clean up." Then he opened the door and was gone. Just like that.

She was majorly pissed off at herself for letting him screw her and walk away. She was tempted to leave and never look back. If he was going to treat her like a whore, then she didn't need him. She sighed. She at least had to give him a chance to talk to her. Maybe if she spent tonight with him she could get him to say something. It wasn't good for him to lock everything up inside. She knew that from her own experiences.

She slipped her shoes back on her feet and went down the hall in search of the bathroom. Once she had finished in the bathroom, she went back to the meeting room where the reception was being held. Lucy was in Cameron's arms on the dance floor, but she didn't see Daylin. She decided to go outside for a cigarette.

Daylin was outside leaning against the side of the building, drink in one hand, cigarette in the other.

"Since when do you smoke?" she said.

He shrugged. "Since I started smoking."

"Oh. Are you okay Daylin?"

"Never been better. You wanna get out of here? I need something stronger."

"You can't leave now. The reception's barely started."

He snorted. "Do you think anyone will notice? C'mon Jess. Let's go to the liquor store and then go back to my place and get smashed."

"I don't think that's what you need Daylin."

"Everybody thinks they know what I need. They don't know shit. I know what I need. I need to go home, get drunk and fuck you again."

"Thanks Daylin. It's nice to know that I'm able to help you through this."

"I don't need help right now. I need to get drunk and get laid."

He ran his hand up under her skirt. She slapped at his hand, shoving it away. "Don't do that."

"I'm sorry I didn't make sure you got off last time okay? I'll make sure you do at my house. Come on. Let's go."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the parking lot. His car was parked about halfway down from hers, a big scratch running down the side.

"What happened to your car?"

He shrugged. "I don't remember. Let's go. You follow me okay?"

"I don't think you're in a state to drive right now."

He dug his keys out of his pocket. "You drive then. We'll come back and pick your car up later." He handed her the keys, reaching out to smack her ass. "Now Jess. I get hard just looking at you."

She wanted to slap him again. Instead, she pushed the button to unlock the car. While he got into the passenger side, she adjusted the seat. When she was belted in, she started the car. "Where are we going?"

"Two blocks up, on the left."

She followed his directions and pulled up in front of a liquor store a few minutes later. He handed her a stack of rumpled bills. "Get a fifth of Rum, a two liter of soda and a bag of ice. Get whatever you want too. I plan to keep you up all night."

She said nothing. He was disgusting her, acting like a pervert. She wondered if this was how he'd acted with the women that had come before her, after Amanda.

Could a woman really find him attractive when he was acting like this she wondered? She sighed as she opened the door, glancing back at the car. He had the window rolled down and was smoking a cigarette.

She bought his rum, cola and ice, at the last minute deciding to add a bottle of one of the few types of liquor that she could stand to drink. Maybe if they both got drunk enough he'd talk to her instead of acting like a horny teenager she thought. When she walked out of the store, he was on his cell phone, but hung up quickly. Why did she have the feeling that he'd been talking to another woman?

She put it out of her head as she got behind the wheel of his car. He put his hand on her leg, tracing circles that kept getting higher and higher as she drove to his house. When his hand threatened to move between her legs, she slapped it away.

"Stop Daylin. I understand that you want to have sex. Trying to molest me while I'm driving isn't going to help either of us."

"You're testy."

She rolled her eyes at him as she pulled into his driveway. "I'm trying to be patient with you because you just lost your mother and don't seem to be dealing with it well, but I'm not going to let you do whatever you want to me."

She handed him his keys so he could unlock the house.

"I'm dealing with it perfectly fine. It's everybody else who can't seem to deal with it. She's dead. Get over it."

She followed him into the house, not believing her ears. How could he say such a thing about his own mother? She knew he was hurting, but when he broke down and let himself feel it, he was going to be crushed if he didn't start to face the reality of the situation-and soon.

She sat down on the couch as he disappeared into the kitchen. His house was a mess, a far cry from the neatness that he'd always strived for before. There were fast food wrappers on the table and on the floor, an empty pizza box on the chair, and several empty beer bottles on the floor underneath the table. The ashtray on the coffee table was overflowing, spilling over onto the porno magazine that it was sitting on top of.

She lit a cigarette as he banged around in the kitchen. She was hungry. When he returned with two glasses, his rum and cola and her blue concoction that tasted like kool-aid, she said "Do you want to order a pizza? I'm hungry."

"Go ahead. I don't care."

She managed to place the order and drink half of her drink before he tried to seduce her again. She was pretty sure that she remembered taking her birth control pill and was glad because he couldn't be bothered with protection. He removed his pants this time, but only removed her panties and pulled up her dress.

He was almost rough with her. His fingers dug into her ass as he moved within her and he shoved his tongue into her mouth. She wasn't sure whether she was more disappointed with him for acting the way he was or herself because he was turning her on. She had come to orgasm and he was on the brink when there was a knock at the door.

"Fuck," he said. Then he turned towards the door and said loudly "Just a minute."

She could hear a muttered curse from the other side of the door but couldn't tell what the pizza man said. Daylin didn't care. He pulled her legs so that they were wrapped more tightly around him and looked into her eyes. He made one last fierce thrust and said almost gently "I still love you Jess, but I'm no good for you."

He pulled her to him and kissed her roughly. Then he pulled away and had his pants on and was answering the door before she had time to pull her panties back on. She gave him a dirty look and pulled her skirt down over her legs.

The teenager who was delivering the pizza looked back and forth from Daylin standing shirtless at the door to her on the couch and smiled at Daylin. Daylin smirked and shoved two bills into the kid's hand. "There goes your tip," he said and shut the door in the kid's face.

"You're an asshole," she said.

"Yeah. So what?"

He went to the kitchen, refilled his drink and came back with paper plates. She took a sip of her drink. "Daylin. We need to talk."

"What do we need to talk about?"

She lit a cigarette, downing the rest of her drink. He moved to get her another one, but she waved him off. "You said that you love me but you're not good enough for me. Of course you're good enough for me."

"I am the last thing that you need Jess. If I wasn't selfish you wouldn't be here. I wanted one last night with you."

"It doesn't have to be just one night Daylin." She reached out to touch his face but he pulled away. "If you'll talk to me, let me help you, we can have as much time together as you want."

He lit a cigarette and drained half of his drink in one gulp. "So you'll marry me?"

She bit her lip. When they'd been together at Thanksgiving, she had almost fooled herself into thinking that she would marry him eventually. But now she knew she couldn't make that promise. "I don't know Daylin. I think we need to take this one step at a time."

"I knew it. You still won't tell me yes."

"How can you say that you want to marry me when I'm not important enough for you to call me when your mother dies?"

"It wasn't like that." He got up and went back to the kitchen, taking his now empty glass and hers with him.

She took a slice of pizza out of the box and took a small bite. Her appetite was going downhill fast. "What was it like then?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"You're right Daylin. I wouldn't understand. I only found out my Dad was dead after not having been able to see him for twenty-one years. I have no idea what it's like to lose a parent."

"It's not the same."

"No two situations are ever exactly the same Daylin. It doesn't matter. The point is that you can't say that you love someone but shut them out completely."

"I do love you. You deserve better than me. You always have."

"Don't say that."

"I never should have asked you to come here."

"I'm here because I want to be."

"How can you want to be here? I've treated you like nothing but a slut since you got here."

She silently agreed, but said out loud "You're trying to push me away. It's not working."

"Then you're an idiot."

"Thank you Daylin."

He reached out and brushed her hair back from her face. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes, you did."

"I don't want you to waste your time with me. There's so much more for you out there."

She nodded to herself. "There's a lot better out there than a guy like you Daylin. I mean damn, who wants to be with a guy who does things like put away college funds for his dead fiancé's brothers and sisters. Who offered to cosign for his cousin's house. Who snuck away from Thanksgiving dinner to set up a surprise for me that led to the most romantic night of my life. I would be so much better off if I left you here to rot in your misery."

"Fuck off."

"Are you honestly going to tell me that you're not miserable? Are you trying to tell me that you're doing well? Not going to work, barely leaving your house, getting drunk all the time? That is such a healthy way of dealing with your mother's death."

"Everyone deals with death in their own way. I'm dealing with it in mine. Why don't you go take a shower? You look ready to pass out and I want another taste of you before you go to sleep."

"Yeah. And you think that talking dirty is going to make me go away." She leaned over and kissed him. "I've got news for you Daylin. Sometimes a girl might like it a little rough."

He was laughing as she headed to the bathroom. His bathroom was disgusting. The toilet seat was stained like he'd missed several times and hadn't bothered to clean it up. There was a big blob of toothpaste in the sink and what looked like several days' worth of dirty clothes and towels on the floor.

Luckily, there was a clean towel on the towel rack and soap and shampoo in the shower stall. She took a long shower, confused thoughts running through her head. Was she right she wondered? Was he trying to push her away by acting like an asshole? Or was he really in such shape that he didn't care how he treated her? She hoped it was the former, had a feeling that it was because of what he'd said to her about not being good enough for her, but wasn't sure.

The thing that bothered her the most was his phone call when she'd been in the liquor store. She still had a feeling that he'd been talking to another woman. Had he been messing around with other women since his mom had died? With the way he'd acted since he'd seen her, she didn't think so. He'd seemed pretty hard up for sex. Then again, she knew from experience that Daylin had quite a libido. Maybe he was supposed to meet someone tonight and he'd called it off.

She still wasn't sure of anything by the time she'd stepped out of the shower other than the fact that she wished she'd brought a change of clothes with her. She pulled the towel around her and went out to the living room.

Daylin had made himself a fresh drink and was sitting on the couch in his boxers eating a slice of pizza. He pulled her down onto his lap. "I've missed you," he said.

"I don't believe you."

He kissed her mouth. "I missed you here." Took her nipple in his mouth. "I missed you here." Moved his hand down between her legs. "And I most definitely missed you here."

"Pervert."

"I'll show you a pervert."

He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. The third time they had sex, it was almost enough to make her believe that everything could go back to normal between them. He seemed to read her mind like he normally did. He took it slow when she wanted it slow and seemed to know when she no longer wanted it slow. When he went back out to the living room to make himself another drink, she fell asleep.

When she awoke the next morning, there were strange noises coming from the living room. She sat up in bed and reached for a cigarette, trying to figure out what Daylin was doing. She lit her cigarette and the noises became more familiar. Moans, the sliding of bodies. She took a drag of her cigarette and choked. It couldn't be; he wouldn't she thought.

She took a breath and it dawned on her that he was probably watching porn. There had been several on the table last night. She got up and went to the bedroom door. She didn't see anything at first. She had to move out of the doorway and take a step into the hallway before she could see. Then she discovered that she didn't want to see.

Daylin was not alone on the couch. He was with Kateisha, much as he had been the first time she had caught them together, only this time they were naked and involved in what looked like a heated make-out session. Jess took a deep breath and let it out as she slammed the bedroom door. She couldn't believe this.

She rummaged around on the bedroom floor and didn't find her dress. Which meant it was still in the living room. Fuck Jess thought. There was no way in hell she was going out there other than on her way out the door. She slammed open a drawer on Daylin's dresser. Nothing. She had to open every drawer on his dresser until she found a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

When she was dressed she realized that not only was her jacket in her car, but she had no shoes to wear besides the heels that she had worn to the wedding. Which meant she was going to have to walk to the church with no jacket and high heels. She could still hear the noises of passion coming from the living room.

She closed her eyes and pondered her choices. She could go out into the living room and scream at Daylin. She could throw something at both of them and then she could put on her stupid heels and walk to the church without a jacket. Or she could see if she could find a sweatshirt in his closet, steal a pair of his shoes and walk out the door and ignore the sleaze bags on the couch. She thought that the second option sounded much better.

She found a hoodie in his closet that looked like it hadn't been worn since high school and slipped it over her head. Then she found a pair of socks and an old pair of sneakers. The shoes would be way too big for her, but right now she didn't give a shit.

Once she was dressed, she grabbed her purse and taking a deep breath, opened the bedroom door. She kept her eyes fixed on the front door as she walked through the living room.

As she opened the door, Daylin said "I told you so."

She didn't give him the satisfaction of answering. If he was trying to prove something by fucking around right in front of her, he could languish in his misery all by himself. She didn't need him. She didn't need any man.

Jess made the decision that she was going to leave Welton behind her for once and for all. She started making plans as soon as she went home and hoped to be moved by the time summer came.

Chapter 13

She didn't hear anything from Daylin after that. It was the day before Valentine's Day when she knew she had to call him. She was pregnant. Jess figured that she hadn't been as good at taking her birth control pills as she thought she had.

After she got off of work, she paced around her living room for at least half an hour before she found the courage to call him. She wondered briefly if he'd changed his phone number or if he had bothered to pay his phone bill. But she knew she was just trying to stall further and taking a deep breath, pushed send on her phone.

He answered on the second ring, sounding breathless. "Jess?"

She wanted to cry. "Yes."

"Hi."

They were both silent for almost a full minute before she said "Daylin, I need to talk to you."

"I'm so sorry about what happened. I can't believe that I did that to you. I wanted to call you, but I was so sure that you must hate me. Listen Jess, I cleaned up. I quit drinking, went back to work. I started counseling so I could deal with my mom's death."

"That's good Daylin."

"It really is. I don't know if you would consider it, but I would really like to see you again. Kateisha left town by the way. With Ozzy's real father. And I wasn't with her after that day. We didn't have sex either, though I guess that's probably even harder for you to believe than it was the first time around."

"That's good to hear I guess. It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to get together. This might be something that it would be better to talk to you about in person."

She wasn't sure why she believed that he had started to put his life back together, but she did. It felt so good to hear his voice. She was mildly disgusted with herself to admit how much she missed him.

"Is everything okay Jess?"

Jess thought about it for a moment before she answered him. She decided that she was okay with being pregnant with his child. Though the thought was lurking in the back of her mind that there was a chance that the child she carried could be Luke's as well. She knew that she needed to talk to him about that too.

"Yes, it is okay. Um, I know that it's Valentine's Day but are you busy tomorrow?"

"No."

"Good."

"Really Jess? You'd really want to see me again?"

"I would."

"Oh, that is the best news I've heard in a long time. I get off of work at four tomorrow so I'll see you about six okay? I can't wait to tell Cameron."

She laughed. "I'm off of work tomorrow so that works fine. Bye Daylin."

"Bye Jess. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

When she hung up the phone, Jess felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She had a feeling that Daylin was going to be okay with the news, maybe even happy.

She didn't sleep well that night she was so nervous. She could barely eat the next day because her stomach was in turmoil. She couldn't decide what to wear and finally settled on jeans and a t-shirt only minutes before it was time for Daylin to arrive.

Her heart was beating fast when his knock came at the door. He took one look at her and said "Are you okay?"

She laughed. "Yes. We do need to talk though."

He handed her a bouquet of flowers and followed her back into the apartment. "Okay. Should I be scared?"

He looked good, much healthier than he had the last time she'd seen him. "It could be a really good thing. But I have a confession to make too."

Daylin sat down beside her on the couch. "Okay."

Jess took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm pregnant."

Daylin's face immediately lit up. "You're pregnant Jess really?" Then his smile faded. "Does your confession have anything to do with the baby?"

Jess sighed. "Yes. Daylin, I love you. I tried so long to deny it, and we both kept screwing things up. But I don't want to deny it anymore. I love you and I want to be with you, but we need to be honest with each other from now on. I was with another man before the wedding and I didn't have a period after that. So there's a chance that the baby might be his."

Daylin reached out and took her hand in his. "It doesn't matter. What I said before, I still mean it. I will raise this baby like my own even if it isn't mine. I don't care. I love you Jess."

"I love you too Daylin."

Daylin's grin was so broad she thought that it looked like his face would split. "Those are the most beautiful words I've ever heard. Second only to I'm having your baby."

She took his hand and kissed it. "Do you really mean it?"

"I do. I want you to marry me Jess."

"I will. Um, Daylin I have to tell Luke. He made me promise that I would never tell anyone but I feel so bad. He's married and has a family."

"Oh baby. I wish I wouldn't have been so scared when we first got together. If we both wouldn't have been so damned stubborn none of this would have happened. Do you want me to be with you when you call him?"

Jess bit her lip. She didn't know if it would be better or worse if Daylin was around when she tried to contact Luke. She had a feeling Luke wasn't going to be thrilled to hear from her. But at the same time, she knew it was the right thing to do.

"Yes."

"Good. I'm going to make sure that I only let my pregnant fiancé out of my sight when I have to." Daylin grinned.

"I like the sound of that. Your fiancé."

"Good. I think you'll like it even better when I can call you my wife."

Jess smiled. She thought so too. "I've missed you so much Daylin."

"I've missed you too baby. So when do you want to move in with me?"

She laughed. "Tonight. Now."

His eyes widened. "Really? You mean it?"

She squeezed his hand. "Yes."

He kissed her. "You've made me the happiest man in the world Jess."

She kissed him. "I'm happy too. What do you say about taking a detour to the bedroom before we get out of this place?"

Daylin grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."

The next morning before they started packing her apartment, Jess made what felt like one of the hardest phone calls of her life. She found Luke's home phone number on the internet. Her hand was shaking a little as she dialed. She wished she could have a cigarette to calm her nerves, but since she was pregnant that was most definitely out of the question.

A woman's voice answered the phone. Jess almost hung up, but she made herself say "Is Luke home?"

"No, he's not. May I ask who's calling?"

"Um, my name is Jessica. I liked to be called Jess. Not that it matters. I'm babbling. I'm sorry. Are you Luke's wife?"

"I am. Yes. I'm Kimber Stone."

"I don't know if you're the person I should be saying this to. I really need to talk to Luke. Can you tell him I called and give him my number?"

Jess could tell the other woman was getting irritated. "What is it that you need to speak with Luke about and why can't you tell me?"

Jess sighed, and decided to spill her guts to Luke's wife. Not that she had been right in doing what she had done with him, but the things he had said had made her feel sorry for his wife. "I'm a bartender in a small town called Welton. Your husband happened to be passing through town and came into the bar where I work. He was staring at me. I work with my friend Starla. She was teasing me and happened to tell your husband that I was interested in him. To make a long story short, your husband and I slept together. He was drunk and told me that he loved his wife but that she wasn't the woman that he was meant to be with. He said that when she was pregnant there was a chance that the baby could be another man's and that there were times when he hoped the child belonged to the other man so that he could end up with the woman he really wanted to be with."

The woman on the other end of the phone let out a gasp. Jess felt bad, but she also felt that the woman had a right to know the things that Luke had told her. "I'm sorry. I wouldn't be telling you these things if I didn't feel like it was the right thing to do. I also need Luke to know that I'm pregnant and that the child could be his. I talked about it with my fiancé and we are willing to raise the child together, no questions asked. So it's up to Luke if he wants to have a paternity test done. Let me give you my number so that Luke can call me."

"Sure." Kimber's voice was flat. Jess figured that Luke was going to walk into the eye of a hurricane when he returned home.

Jess rattled off her number. Kimber repeated it back, still sounding numb.

Within a month, Jess and Daylin moved into a bigger house. Within two, they were married. Chelsea was thrilled to be her flower girl. She heard nothing from Luke during her pregnancy.

She never told her mother what Ned had done, though she did make trips home to visit now and again. Her brother Craig married Steph right after graduation and she was soon an Aunt.

When her baby was born, he had dark hair and hazel eyes. The dark hair could come from either Jess or Daylin. The hazel eyes didn't rule out either man as his father since both Daylin and Luke had hazel eyes. Jess wondered sometimes when she watched her son grow who his biological father really was. It didn't matter though. Daylin was a wonderful father to Forrest Craig Creighton. They put the past behind them and didn't hear from Luke again.
