*sci-fi teleportation noise*
Oh hey guys, welcome back.
Uh, I was just spending some time being immersed in my favorite gaming experience, Second Life.
Mario movie. Doom movie. Angry Bird
Pixels. Click. Happy Gilmore. Jack-And-Jill
Which of these is the best gaming movie ever?
Trick question.
The answer is game box 1.0
I found this movie in a thrift store
I've never heard of it before but with the tagline like "The only way out is to win"
I mean, how could I refuse.
I know the cover makes it seem a little bit like a horror movie
But this is like a sci-fi, action...thriller type of movie
It was released in 2004
and was a recipient of the best visual effects award,
as well as the best screenplay award at the world renowned,
uhhh,
"Internacional de Cine Fantastico y de Terror de Estepona"
So, uh...
set your expectations high.
*rock music*
*rock music resumes*
Right off the bat, this movie is in your face with video games.
You got Xbox controllers, you got HALO,
you got...a guy rapping about gaming, and the American dream..?
One week ago, in a home home on the range, a young man is running for his life, from,
uh,
like, a samurai...
Ninja...
Vampire... Lion face?
I dunno
-Chris!
Chris!
Honey
Honey
What's wrong, baby?
*heavy breathing*
*sword unsheathing*
-Chris Dead.
Now if these special effects didn't get you even a little bit excited, then I don't know what we're doing here
I mean, this is pretty much the most promising opening to a film I've ever seen
and the International de Cine Fantastico
y de Terror de Estepona really knew what they were talking about.
Charlie Nash is just your typical average gamer
He works as a game tester testing games that need to be game tested
His outfit and demeanor kind of give off that casual "I'm gonna shoot you" vibe
-There's a double feature tonight: Existense and Videodrome.
Bunch of us are going, buddy. Wanna come?
Huh?
-No thanks
I got some stuff I need to do
-And he sits alone at coffee shops sharing emotional moments with tables as he caresses them and thinks about his dead girlfriend
*memory of girl laughing*
-Oh, you're such a Romeo!
-Charlie's girlfriend might be dead, but his one true love,
Video games, has come a-knockin
In his mailbox, he finds a mysterious unmarked package
Inside is a game console, a very real looking
Headset and a...
little... thing
*metallic clenching noise*
*scanning noise and garble*
*robotic voice* Hello, Charlie
Welcome to game box 1.0.
You've been selected to be one of the first beta testers for the ultimate gaming experience
-Okay, I got some early feedback for you
How do you make something called "Gamebox 1.0"
And then make it look not like a box? Like, they deliberately make it look like some...
Ufo themed tupperware?
It's like if the Gamecube was the shape of
uh
a donut.
*robotic voice* Before you begin, you'll need to capture images of real people to play the characters in the game
You'll note a small camera attachment included in the box.
Welcome to the world's most ~futuristic~ gaming device
Before you get started, here's a bunch of tedious shit that you got to do
What's up with this little camera thing like why does it have a talon on the end of it?
Why does he have to take pictures of people? Why can't he just upload existing photos to the console?
I don't know man. The future just doesn't make any sense.
Charlie goes over to his gamer pal's house
And they're all gaming together sitting super close on the couch.
A perfect photo op as far as Charlie is concerned.
Hey Charlie! What's up?
Hey, Charlie. What's up, man?
*murmur* Charlie. This is Charlie.
Hi.
Hi
Mind if I take your picture?
*electronic click*
Dude, is that a camera?
Did you say it's for a new game system?
Charlie!
Not sure how close I need to be
*electronic click*
I should really go test this thing out.
*electronic click*
*electronic click*
Dude, is that a camera?
*electronic click*
*electronic click*
*electronic click*
See you guys later.
Man, you're really leaving?
*electronic click*
See you guys.
After his little uh picture party,
Charlie heads home and does what any heartbroken gamer would do.
Watch some video of his one true love: Topanga?
Hey!
*in the distance* Charlie!
He's got, like pictures of Topanga back there
And then also this home video that kind of looks like found footage of a murderer stalking his next victim
Topanga
*upbeat music with victim screaming*
Topanga is actually Kate. Uh, you remember her, right, from the table?
I mean,
How could anyone forget that gripping and powerful table scene.?
And I sure wish I had someone that loved me enough to caress me like
Charlie caressed that table.
Now, would be a good time to point out that Charlie is
Harvey Kinkle from Sabrina the Teenage Witch and that kind of makes this movie feel like some weird
Crossover Sci-Fi gamer
Fanfiction. It's kind of hilarious.
After feeling some more emotions Charlie decides to drown out his sorrows with his favorite vice:
Video games. And look, see how the Xbox is a box with an x on it? See how much sense that makes?
*robotic voice* Welcome back, Charlie.
-Before he can get started, though, the Gamebox tells him that there's
one more character that needs to be added to the game
via the little camera thing,
and that's a villain.
He's supposed to choose someone he hates, so he pulls out his handy-dandy "My girlfriend was murdered" scrapbook,
and does some thinking.
*people giggling*
Hey.
Hey!
FREEZE!
*gunshot*
Hahah, oh my gosh...
All right, the time is now. It's time to finally experience Gamebox 1.0
Which game would you like to play first?
Zombie Land
WOW!
Crime Spree
Alien Planet
Crime Spree! Crime Spree! Crime Spree! Crime-
Crime Spree.
*rap music plays*
Crime Spree is like a green screen paradise!
I mean they clearly works to try and make the world feel a lot bigger than it actually is
uh, but their limitations are very obvious.
You never really see anyone move more than like, a few feet in any one given shot and the first thing that Charlie does
in this huge, expansive, virtual world,
is walk around a pole and knock over a trash can
I mean, what an adventure.
Crime Spree is clearly a nod to GTA. Charlie has GPS
Navigation and inventory and he's beating people up and Committing Grand Theft auto
housing a lot easier
But in reality Charlie is just sitting at home while topanga watches from AfAr
This next part is actually pretty interesting. We're at a point in the movie where Charlie thinks the game is just a game
But we know better because the tagline of the movie is the only way out is to
Win so to remind the audience of the danger the filmmakers came up with this Clever Little audio clue
It's very subtle, but I want to see if you can notice it listen close
Yeah, there's no subtlety here if you're looking for subtlety you're watching the Rock movie
totally insane
Okay, yes, Charlie what a limitation to this world, so this is the part of the movie where Charlie explores the seemingly endless
Boundaries of game box 1.0 it starts off innocent enough first off he drives to a club and listens to his own
Internal monologue of the character that he's playing
How tion it used to be a two-bit hood until somebody slit his throat and left him for Dead
Made himself over some kind of ninja named himself after the Chinese dragon goth North wind the bad news all around
I know it's cheesy, but I actually kind of like the visual style of this movie. They make some creative choices
There are some real actors in the game
But also some fully CG characters as well and the real actors all have something weird going on with their faces
I can't really tell what it is, but it's a little unsettling I like it Charlie's adventure leads him to lion
Ninja Lion
Bald spot lion
Ninja man who surprise surprise looks just like the cop that murdered his girlfriend?
You wanted to see me? Oh?
Lion man wants Charlie to retrieve a briefcase for him the specifics don't matter. It's just a briefcase. Why should I do this job?
Yeah, no choice
Point noted it this next scene is really great Charlie is getting a new set of wheels and on top of the visual
Cheesiness, just being amazing the music is once again very on point
This is not a game
Charlie locates the briefcase which surprise surprise is attached to a deceased girlfriend, okay?
It's at this tender emotional moment that Charlie gets freaking on
Yes, Charlie
What's going on you be chuck?
What is it barking right and burn maybe I don't understand the question right you gotta get out of there dude
But how do you quit? There's no controller or anything let me happen. I want to stop. I want to stop wait
exit Pause, whatever happens
Mm interesting
So I guess in the future. We're all going to exit our games by being a little bitch
When Charlie wakes up he's reasonably upset even start seeing some game characters in the real world usually in some attempted
but unsuccessful jump scares
Hey, Charlie
He also finds out that the game has been messing with his real life making him think he's had phone conversations
with his friends when
Really they never call him because I mean look at this - and somehow through it all Charlie still finds time to reminisce about his
girlfriend
I think it's pretty funny that he seems to only have two
Memories of her like the one time they had at the beach
And then the time she got murdered and I guess also the table time who could forget the glorious table time
Charles is slowly coming to the realization that this game is
Was able to imitate his friend's voice over the phone by searching his mind to find out what the voice sounded like
Why are the voices?
Automatically detected, but he had to like walk around and take pictures of all his friends I
Mean couldn't the game just read his mind for that information as well
Driven solely by his love for Topanga Charlie dives back into the game and uses some health to heal his shoulder. Oh
All right here we go
This movie is always trying out some weird visual effects and every time it does it's a delightful surprise
What's not a delightful surprise? Is that Topanga is referred to in the game as princess. What's your name?
Not a princess just her name is princess
princess I
Don't know it just seems a little unfortunate finally though Charlie gets to spend some time reuniting with his lost love
oh
Did you see those two cars back there? I don't even understand. Why they ran into each other
They were just driving along and then oh
in the car Charlie attempts to kidnap Princess, but when she resists he settles for a chat over lunch and
This place reminding anyone of any tables or anything
What's this is this the girl?
I supposedly look like this whole scene is just exposition, but instead of paying attention to that check out all the people in the background
Sometimes this scene in particular, what's happening?
The background is actually a lot more interesting than what's happening in the foreground the way some of these people walk or even
Sometimes they get stuck in place. I don't know if that's intentional or not, but I think it's hilarious I
Didn't like the way the guy in the grade coat was looking at me
What they tracked us here, this was an ambush
Now what sensing something is amiss Charlie tries to get out of the diner quick, but it's too slow and just freakin beats it
I
mean Crap man look at that when Charlie dies he loses a life and
Responds just a short while before his death which means he still needs to find a way out of the cafe
But this time Charlie is wiser smarter. He knows what's about to happen and he has a master plan
Stop I want to stop fix it game. I don't want to play
Oh, I see. We're going with plan a being a little bitch a Charlie classic
Okay, but this is the last time we help you Charlie
Charlie decides to just quit game box 1.0. Cold turkey is an evil game
He's just not going to play it, but that's not quite as easy as it seems, not only does he start having more frequent
hallucinations
But when he dozes off at work, he suddenly finds himself back in the game
I didn't like the way the guy in the gray coat was looking at me
Turns out that. He doesn't even need the headset anymore
The game is embedded into his mind and the only way out is the only way out is to win and way out
It's the only way, how is Joe playing
Get under the table
You lost your weapons when you died
Charlie
Didn't mean together good. You're gonna sleep richer on your head
Charlie is a mess. He's just he's not doing too
Well you guys oh, and of all the luck wouldn't you know it on top of everything? He's getting a parking ticket, too
Officer could you give me him?
What's your problem?
My random chance Charles runs into murder Cop in the real world murder. Cop thinks Charlie is on drugs though
I'm not sure where he got that idea
man your jack
Ride this out
He takes him back in an alley to sell him more drugs and then beat them to a pulp you know standard crooked cops
Hello, I
Could do worse if he oh mind your own business keep your mom
Hey, I didn't hit you never get up suddenly Charlie's life is literally hanging by a thread as his body exists in a hospital bed
While his mind is still in the game
This plot element gives off some serious dot hack vibes and dot hack sign was like my purse and favorite anime
So I appreciate that
with Charlie in a coma the second half of the movie takes place entirely within the game where the ninja man has a
Ninja plan to Ninja kill the shit out of Charlie in the face
Also, attacking our hero are these shadowy jumpy enemies? I'm not sure what they're supposed to be
All right
They're zombies of course how could I have missed that princesses looks and voice might be based on Charlie's Dead girlfriend
but her personality sure isn't she is shutting him down at every opportunity you realize you still lying on top of the
Genome Jim any idea what we're going after done it. I've only got one shot back
So how does Charlie deal with this rejection?
Well by being a huge dick none of this is happening princess. We're in a freaking game a game Charlie
It's a simulation
You mean this hatchet and your precious evil briefcase. Maybe you don't have the ability to understand
This is all fake this hatchet. You're just a character
Oh, well things aren't going my way might as well inform someone that their existence is meaningless wait
So you don't want to date me? Well. You know what your life is a lie
I guess Charlie is playing for his life though
I mean, you got to take some drastic measures if the only way out is to win
Charlie I found you
Me Peter
Here your friend. Hey, remember pete from the picture party well
It looks like he somehow found his way into the game as well
What's your apartment super let me an aspect told me you're in the hospital
I saw the new game, so I put on the headset and
Here I am you know what if I ever end up in a coma?
I just want you to know that that is not an okay to come over to my apartment and touch my stuff
don't come over here and play my video games, or put your
fingers all over my high-tech futuristic
camera thing that stuff is still my stuff Charlie princess and Pete are trying to return the briefcase to the
Professor apparently that's their goal, and I just missed it
I think they might have talked about it at the cafe
And I was just too busy watching the people in the background at the same time Ninja Samurai
Drug-dealing girlfriend murderer crooked cop is trying to track them down
It's just a roller coaster from here on out. Pete almost gets zombie
They're finding item hey game. I want to use this house no
What if one of us needed that more than you the game is changing Genres, right?
They're human sir. Why are they dressed like that? There's an alien army and fucking ufos blowing people up
Oh my God
But don't worry things start to calm down in the next scene when Pete grabs an axe
Knocks Topanga in the head and then chomps off her hand what?
He's like wrapping up the nub and everything. What is happening?
So Pete wasn't actually the real Pete. It was just a trick that the game was playing and after figuring that out suddenly
Mr.
Your existence is a lie is super concerned for princess and begs the game for a heart container to give her a hand came
I need a health icon where is it? We can't tell you that that's not Fair I?
Went out lied told me that peter was real. Give me air of my God catch to that Charlie
What are you doing? Charlie? You won't play fair, then I will play at all. Oh
bravo our Hero ladies and gentlemen
Charlie the Brain well I should like carve this into a mountain or something in his honor, and they can name it mount
What a bitch
What you?
Not playing this stupid game anymore
Sit here and wait for something to kill me so after throwing a hissy fit and saying that he's not going to play the game
Charles promptly returns to playing the game there's a really great climbing scene with a bunch of great
Climbing graphics he basically gets into a climb off with Pete
And I think any professional rock climber would agree this scene is very realistic intense
He wins the climbing contest
But Charlie wins the chute Pete's head off contest which seems like the bigger victory to me and what better way for Charlie to
celebrate his victory than by
Jumping off a cliff. Oh
there goes the
Movie attempts a bit of suspense apparently forgetting that we already know what happens when Charlie dies
But before you know it it's time for round two oh
My God, did you guys see that grab can we see that again in Slow-mo?
Who is that oh tell Charlie sacrifices the briefcase for a health container?
Which he tries to use on princess, but she seems a bit too busy being dead to care James
I want to give princess this help the business he's dead
Charlie then has a very emotional moment. I mean look at all that
This whole scene is just beautiful it goes on for a little while. I'm not going to show you everything, but it's good stuff
I want to give a princess my extra life
interesting move Johnny
This is your that love so not only does Charlie waste a health container on his girlfriend, but not really girlfriend
But he also uses his only remaining extra life to bring her back
Then they kiss faces because they like each other now or something gross
I told you princess none of this is real. Hey welcome back to life princess. Let's make out for a little while, okay
Anyway, like I was saying your existence is meaningless you brought her back to life just to prove to her that she doesn't
Exist this shit is Dark
I'm not real then
Why am I here?
so give me motivation
To make sure I keep playing the game don't just give up yeah, you're just here to be my cheerleader bitch deal with it bad
Cop Ninja may have the briefcase now, but princess is the only one who can open it
So he's still in close pursuit before you know it the pair end up in Charley's apartment in the game
So now princess can look at photos of the real her which is bizarre
But even more strange is when they move into the next room and Charlie sees himself in a coma in the hospital
They are in the hospital in the game in the coma room, but still in the game
It's actually pretty cool. I don't really know how his brain got the information to know that
He's in a coma though. That doesn't quite make sense
any time
Let's get out of here
Run Murder. Cop Ninja Samurai has finally backed Charlie into a corner or into a basement rather
So this is it no more running, or whining Charlie is going to have to either kill or be?
kicked out well alright after an Epic battle with
What's-his-face Charlie and Princess learned that their actual objective is not to take the briefcase to a professor?
But to just open it so all she has to do is open the case
And he'll win the game so they open the briefcase and inside they find
What else but a game box?
1.0 in all of its not really a box for some reason glory. I push that button
Is for world away?
We have a really weird look in crying slash makeout session
And then Charlie's hand slits down and gently presses the button. Oh
A bitch I bet you guys know where you got those skills, huh?
Charlie exits the game wakes up and then realizes that his ordeal is finally over
And he uses his newfound courage and newfound haircut to talk to girls about roast beef with extra Horse Riders
I think you're liking see extra horse ranch is it makes across radish?
Menu horseradish, I even use a whatever go to party
He's even sitting at a new table at the cafe
traitor and what about that crooked cop well, it looks like someone is just
Drunk enough to try out a new game console he received
Welcome to game box 1.0
Captain Carlos a reviewer on Amazon called game box 1.0 a crappy B movie with no
entertainment value, I call Captain Carlos
stupid game box 1.0 is a blast this movie was so insane and cheesy and
Stupid and it was well paced. It didn't drag it all and had a bunch of crazy special effects
I loved it, and if you're thinking, I don't know I mean it looks entertaining and kind of funny
But I don't know if I can take two hours of this good news the movie is just barely over an hour long
The very first thing I thought about when this movie was over was how glad I was that they didn't try and stretch it out
To like two hours that would have been miserable it really is the perfect length
It's just long enough without being too long or too short
I think it's a movie that knew exactly what it wanted to be and what it wanted to be was badass
You're in the mood for a fun cheesy video game action movie to watch along with your friends laugh along with it
Game box 1.0. I don't think you're going to be disappointed
I actually really loved this I thought it was a lot of fun, and I will watch it again
Thank you so much for watching the second. I saw this movie. I knew I had to talk about it
So I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks so much John and obviously you next time
me
Horseradish - Zeg
