 
Anastia's Diary

Edenia Series

By Beth Hoyer

Published at Smashwords 2016

Chapter One: Introducing my Life

It's the first time I started a journal in my twenty year existence. I figured I might as well write each day and add whatever memory that pops up. I saw a journal with a blue cover with white pages and blue lines, in the small town of Wolf's Howl, New York general store and brought it for eight dollars. The sales lady tried to get me to buy it for twenty five dollars the regular price. Boy was she mean; she was rude to me when I showed her my Dad's discount card. The lady was disgusted with me. I couldn't believe it when people in that town are treating me like a freak! It's no excuse to treat me that way because I'm deaf! That's how the people of Wolf's Howl, treat me because I've been treated this way ever since I could understand this behavior at age twelve. I've lived in the small town of Wolf's Howl, New York all of my life. They don't treat me as something that is an equal person but someone who's like a circus freak. I hate it when that happens because I'm born deaf.

As for the journal is leather bound with a string wrapped around it. The journal has about six hundred pages according to the sticker on the back which I peeled off. I decided to start a journal because Mom was writing stuff in journals I figured if she can do this, so can I because I felt like it.

I found out last month after Zoya left on March 10, 1998 that I have a cousin named Elizabeth "Lisha" Zeskaya. I thought it was a joke at first. I couldn't believe it when I found out. This brought me to buy a journal in the store because of a powerful urge to write things down. I wonder why my parents kept this from me. How I found out is I read what Mom wrote in her journal, while Mom was out shopping at the local store in Wolf's Howl last week. She left her journal on the kitchen table in the house. I wound up picking the journal up and dropped it on the floor by accident. The page fell to this entry marked March, 20, 1998 which I being nosy read and copied:

"Poor Anastia, I wonder when she will know of her cousin Elizabeth who lives in Hamden, Connecticut. I wanted to tell her outright when Anastia was sixteen years old but my parents wouldn't let me do that. They threatened to expose our family secret. I dare not write that down because someone would read this. A pity, that my sister Marina Zeskaya won't support me in going against our parents' wishes to tell Anastia about Lisha."

Anastia is me, her daughter, Anastasia Yuliet Stonehawk, whose Mom is referring to. I could have copied more but Mom came home and I had to pretend to read a book about something else. Here's some background on my family, Marina is my mom's sister who lives in Connecticut with at first with Grandma and Grandpa Najinov in Wolfville. For awhile, I thought she was a single mother raising Mahalia Zoya whose hearing, my younger sister goes by the name of Zoya, who look a lot like me, but appears that Aunt Marina has a child named Elizabeth and is married to someone who's last name is Zesky. As for the look like me thing, she has tan skin of a Native American like me but she has brown eyes while I have blue eyes.

Zoya is Mahalia Zoya Stonehawk, used to live here with us in New York but she according to Mom wanted to go to school in Connecticut instead and wanted to be near Grandma and Grandpa. So my parents against my wishes sent her on a plane ride to Connecticut. This happened in March. It was really early in the morning when they did this. They were supposed to wake me up at 3am to let me say good bye to her but Mom told me she wanted to let me sleep and make it less painful for our parting. So Dad drove Zoya to the airport in another major town an hour away. Then Zoya flew to Connecticut on a private plane my rich Grandparents paid for. Humph, they did that last month during some school vacation. I wonder why they did this. Mom told me that Zoya couldn't adjust to living here in Wolf's Howl. She's younger than me by a few years and it doesn't make any sense at all. Considering days before she left Zoya confided in me in a written paper note dated March 4, 1998:

Anastia, I overheard our parents arguing about sending me to someplace like Connecticut. I heard them arguing that through the kitchen door. They made it seem like Grandma and Grandpa; Mom's parents wanted me there in Connecticut with them instead of living here. I heard them mention something about some money being cut off if they didn't send me at all by March 31st. It's the 4th of March now. I don't get it but my parents mentioned something else that doesn't make sense. They mentioned something about needed me to be there for observation.

Zoya

Later my parents' in my presence told Zoya that she was visiting Mom's parents in Connecticut and should pack a bag for the duration of the school vacation. I did notice an odd look pass on Zoya's face like she wanted to say more but couldn't. Then later she visited my room and her eyes glowed yellow which creep me out. She wanted to show some thing according to her sign language talk but Mom came upstairs and Zoya asked me if she could borrow some of my books. She never brought up the subject of her eyes again in my presence. I did notice her talking to Mom about something which both clammed up in front of me when I entered the room. After Zoya left, all the stuff of Zoya's that were in the room I shared with her were taken. Mom claims they were sent to Connecticut because Zoya loved living there and wanted to stay there. I suspect it had something to do with her note to me. Whenever I tried to bring up the subject about Zoya, Mom would change the subject abruptly. As for Dad he would talk about missing Zoya and how her presence would make him sad. I asked Dad why they sent Zoya but he wouldn't tell me because every time he was about to say something about Zoya was when he would look at his beeper like it went off. He always had this fearful look on his face when he saw his beeper. I feel like someone was eavesdropping on us because of him keeping looking at his beeper like it was going off every time I mentioned Zoya.

4/2/98

Mom today when she saw me with this journal actually praised me about me writing in a journal.

She told me "It'll be good for you to brush up your writing skills".

Mom said this with me lip reading. She won't take sign language at my insisting, due to my deafness. I also tried to bring up the fact about having some unknown relatives like Elizabeth, without mentioning her name, but Mom gave me an odd look and then later, I saw her outside burning some papers from her journal in front of a wooded totem pole deciphering the bald eagle. (My parents are believers of this new age religion called Lance Richard, unsure of the name, which the bald eagle symbolizes one of their Gods.) I suspect this was the pages in her journals that mentioned Lisha. I did look in her journal the other day and found the page mentioning Lisha torn out. I wonder what's going on, and why my Grandparents won't let Mom tell me about Lisha. It sure doesn't make any sense at all and it also doesn't make any sense about the grandparents taking Zoya to Connecticut.

4/3/98

Here's a copy of the letter I wrote to Lisha that I sent via mail last month that got returned unopened today:

Dear Elizabeth,

How are you? I found out about you some days ago. You don't know me, but my name is Anastia Yuliet Stonehawk. I'm your older cousin who is deaf since birth. I am twenty years old, going on twenty one soon. I have black hair and tan skin, which I got from my father who is Native American. I say Native American because he was born and raised in a reservation in New York. My mother is your Aunt Svetlana Najinova Stonehawk, your mother's sister who I inherit her blue eyes. I am quite tall for my age around five foot and eight inches which I inherited from my father. I have a sister named Mahalia Zoya Stonehawk who I believe you met. She lives with Grandma and Grandpa in Connecticut. I would like to learn more about you. Please send me a letter.

Love your cousin,

Anastia

That's what the letter was about, which mysteriously got returned unopened. It was post marked from Hartford, Connecticut. I got the address from the internet a new thing to hit the town of Wolf's Howl at the local library. I had to be assertive to get the librarian allow me to use one of the eight computers. The librarian tried to discourage me by lying that they were reserved but Dad saved me. He came to the library and saw me and told me about the internet. He proceeded to use one of the computers and introduced me to a search engine which you could type anything in the computer and the internet will pull the inquiry up for you. I typed Elizabeth Zeskaya and got some articles about my Grandparents and they mentioned an address in Hamden, Connecticut. It also brought up a website devoted to her by fans of the Soccer team that she was playing on. The article was about Elizabeth playing in a school championships game for a High school as a sixteen year old. It's very interesting because it also mentioned that she's deaf too. The article showed a picture of her, which appeared to be a black and white photo. Interesting but I wonder why the letter got returned unopened. I suspected that my Mom told them about me reading her journal. I lip read her talking on the phone, as I pretended to write in my journal. I saw her sitting sideways on the chair in the living room opposite me staring at the window. I managed to write this down.

Mom: "Mia, [her sister Marina's nickname], you won't believe this but Anastia saw my writing about Lisha and then she later asked me about unknown relatives."

Pause.

Mom: "Mia! Don't scold me! It's the first time Anastia was nosy enough to read my journal."

Pause.

Mom: "No, don't tell Mom [Grandma] about that. It's not any of her business. Anastia's watching me while writing in her journal."

Then she abruptly got up and turned her back to me and went to the window to look outside. After that she hung up and faced me.

She looked annoyed and glared at me then Mom left the room after signing the word "Nosy".

Then Mom came home with a folder which she kept her journal in and took it everywhere in a tote, but as for the other finished journals, which she kept it in a metal box with a lock and a key.

4/4/98

I noticed that lately that my parents are fighting arguing about my Dad's long hours at work and Mom's sleeping pill intake. That's what I could lip read from their arguing in front of me in the kitchen. I have a hard time lip reading people if they shout due to my deafness. It's not making sense at all. I wonder why Dad has to do long hours at the Wolf's Howl facility called Zeskaya. It sure doesn't make any sense at all. I lip read them talking about Dad's job before they shooed me out of the kitchen of the two story house.

Mom: "It's not ethical to hurt animals!"

Dad: "it's the good of Mankind to do this because of the alien hysteria that happened in the forties."

Mom: "Who cares about the hysteria?! I say it's not right to do experiments on animals!"

Dad: "So? This resulted in-"

At that moment Dad cut himself off when he noticed me that both parents proceed to take me out of the kitchen and slam the door. I sat on the steps to upstairs and tried to guess what Dad was about to say. I do remember one day also last month after Zoya left that Dad came home from work upset. He was about to tell us something when he received a summons on his beeper. The number on it made him look fearful that he couldn't tell Mom and me why. I suspect that Mom knows what it is because she looked angry when she saw the fearful look on Dad's face.

4/5/98

I found out, that my parents are getting a divorce, something which has been in process for months. I was surprised when they told me about the divorce in the kitchen. I was sleeping in my bedroom sick with a stomachache when Mom came to the room. She woke me up and told me lip reading to come downstairs. I groggily got up and followed Mom downstairs to the kitchen. There they proceeded to surprise me with news of them getting a divorce, something which was in the works for months. I wanted to know why but they both told me the same answer that they just don't like each other anymore.

A pity to me too because I was nosy and I read some of Mom's writing in her open journal while she was in the bathroom showering. The journal of hers was lying flat on the kitchen table. I was really upset about that Dad and Mom were getting a divorce.

I read the first thing on the top of the journal and I read the words "You're a pig".

The words started echoing over and over like a tape recorder that isn't shut off. I tried to say shut up to the voice in my head insulting me but it wouldn't stop. I was too upset to notice this so I went to bed.

4/6/98

This morning the words were in my head and they wouldn't shut up despite me pleading to myself. I felt like I had to chant to the Goddess and light candles to stop the voice from talking to me in my head. I really would like to know what's wrong with me. I made a circle today, and asked my Goddess to stop the voice from repeating this insult in my head. The voice made me feel awful. I felt like I was being punished with something but what? I don't know anymore. I just don't know what to do about the voice bothering me.

I asked the Goddess to stop the voice but somebody not sure who told me this saying "The Goddess help those who help themselves."

I tried to complain to Mom about having a voice in my head insulting me, but she wouldn't hear of it.

She told me "You don't have a voice in your head period!"

Later today Dad set me aside while we were outside walking in the woods near the house. Dad told me that Mom hears voices in her head. He told me that Mom has Auditory Hallucinations another words for saying voices in her head from a chemical imbalance not working right in her brain. Boy was I surprised when he told me this. I finally told him about having a voice in my head too but Dad wouldn't hear of this because he claims that I don't have a voice in my head and I'm just copying Mom. After he told me of this I started to notice that some of the town's people call her names when her back is turned. I've lip read people telling visitors of the town to stay away from me because I'm a freak. I don't know where these freaky things come from. Humph I guess I'm different from the others who live in this town because of my blue eyes and Native American like looks. I think it's my blue eyes that make me different from the town's people because they have brown eyes. I just don't understand this at all.

4/7/98

I received two letters today from Grandma that one was really annoying. It seemed threatening that I can't put it down here. The subject matter was Grandma threatened to cut me off my inheritance if I kept sending Lisha letters.

She also sent me another letter that said "Because I said so!"

This resulted in the voice in my head to repeat the words "Because I said so" over and over as a result this took me several times to beg to my parents to get me a therapist.

The voice in my head was bothering me and making me miserable. Mom wasn't supportive of me wanting to see a therapist but Dad told me he understands whatever that means because he and Mom are getting a divorce, which will be finalized soon. I suspect that Grandma had something to do with this because I found two envelopes addressed to Mom and Dad separately. The envelopes were falling apart and letters fell out of them. It was in Grandma's handwriting. I wasn't able to copy the letters because Mom came home from work. The letters state that Grandma doesn't approve of their relationship and is asking them to divorce each other. In Mom's letter, Grandma asked Mom to quit stalling in the divorce to Dad or not be able to receive communication from Zoya till she turns twenty one. Ugh, I can't believe that Grandma is manipulating things again. I confronted Mom with the letters and asked her what was going on. She told me that she and Dad don't love each other anymore, because of Dad's job in the Zeskaya facility. When I asked Dad about the letters, his face turned into a sneer and he told me it was because of Mom's mental illness and he can't stand her insulting him. I forgot to add, that yesterday Dad moved out to a cabin in the Zeskaya Facility area.

4/8/98

The house, I currently live in will be sold to some developer of the facility who wants expand with some zoo the developer claims. As for our stuff, Dad insisted that I sort through it and get rid of the junk I don't want. This is because Mom is moving to a three room cabin with an outhouse and can barely support the junk I acquired over the years. Most of the junk I acquired over the years are books of countries from the local car insurance company. I managed to get rid of most of them. Dad earns extra money than her and I wonder why he couldn't buy the house. I also wonder why I couldn't live with Dad but Mom has forbidden me to live with him until I turn twenty one which will happen in May 5.

4/9/98

As for the therapist thing, I went to the therapist in a town, a ride away by car. Both parents went for counseling too but I admitted to the therapist that I hear an insulting voice in my head after the therapist probed me with questions. I had to admit this because she was accusing me of hiding something. Well, the therapist gave me an odd look on her face like I was crazy and went to see my parents. I followed her out of the room and sat across my parents with her back to me.

I lip read Dad exclaim "Put her in an asylum?!"

Mom looked at me as if she saw me for the first time, because she seemed distant and cold on the car ride home. Every time I tried to talk, Mom would cut me off by saying "Shh" over and over. I wonder why, but I noticed a black car with tinted windows following the Sport Utility Vehicle [SUV] as Dad drove and then the car went to the road to the facility as Dad drove by the road to Mom's cabin where she keeps a red jeep.

As for the cabin it has an outdoor outhouse and was really rustic. It only had a kitchen that was small and two rooms that were used as bedrooms. The kitchen had a stove pipe and a refrigerator with some falling apart cabinets. It also had a large sink in one corner that was surrounded by a shower curtain. The sink was for washing. Plus the cabin had an outdoor bathroom, which was next to the cabin.

The outhouse I refer had no flush and smelled a lot, which resulted in the voice insulting me "you stink, P.U." over and over again along with the words "You're a pig".

The outhouse was a small room with a wooded toilet. Ugh the cabin was way out of the roads. Mom had to take a dirt road through the forest to drive to there with the jeep. Also I had to walk two miles to reach the town through the dirt road and to the main road where there was the mail box where the mail man would drop off the mail literally. I discovered one day that the mail man a guy with a bald head and a beard would drop any mail addressed to me by throwing them out the truck into the forest. I was walking down the lane towards the road to the mail boxes when I saw him do that. I was disgusted.

The voice said as he did that "Mail man is stupid."

The mail was mostly junky like subscriptions to nature magazines. As for mail to Mom, the idiot would put them in the mailbox. I tried to bring the mail subject up with Mom but she wouldn't listen to me because she told me that the mail man was a stupid person who's senile for his age.

I don't agree with this senile bit because the voice in my head said "She's lying".

The mails I mostly get are magazines of Wolves and Nature which I find ripped up and scattered around the mail box. I started ordering the magazines in Mom's name but the subscription mysteriously gets cancelled according to the letters in the mail.

4/10/98

I noticed a letter from Grandma from Connecticut addressed to Mom in the mailbox and I think I was mad at Grandma that I opened the letter and read it. In the letter Grandma was begging Mom to move to Connecticut. I didn't copy it down but went to the Eagle totem and burned the letter next to the cabin. I didn't want Mom to move and leave me alone in Wolf's Howl with Dad. I wanted my parents to stay together. I guess Mom must have known about the letter's contents because she told me that she was planning to move to Connecticut.

I told her that I didn't want her to move but she told me that she couldn't stand living in Wolf's Howl with Dad and be the town gossip hence the voice saying "She's lying" over and over.

No matter how I pleaded she refused to stay. Mom told me that I would have to learn to live in the cabin by myself while she makes arrangements to leave. I like, some kids whose parents are divorced really wanted my parents back together. Mom also told me that the divorce will become finalized before she leaves.

4/11/98

I woke up in the night with awful stomach pains that I couldn't sleep. They were really painful that I had to get up and go to the bathroom. I left my room and got outside in my boots. I don't care what the weather is because I'm always wearing my hiking boots, rain, snow, shine and warm or cold period. I put them on and walked in the dark with a flashlight is when I met this odd creature. At first I thought it was a dog cowering in front of my flashlight but at closer inspection I saw it was a Tiger with markings of a German Shepherd Dog one of my favorite dog breeds except it was bigger than a regular German Shepherd Dog.

I heard the voice in my head telling me "Don't worry she'll be your friend"

Over and over till it became an urge to pet the creature on the head but I remembered my mission to do my business in the outhouse and went. It helped my stomachache then I saw the creature lying down on the ground as if hurt. I went towards it and she, I assume a she grabbed me with her paws that were clawless. The tiger/dog hybrid proceeded to lick my head and chew on my long hair that it hurt. Owe. After that, she followed me to the cabin. I had to push her to keep her from going in the cabin but she streaked in like she was a dog.

Mom was asleep in her room with sleeping pills, dead to the world. I sometimes would watch her sleep and I saw something strange from Mom. I saw her form change from Human, getting smaller, as her face narrowed and fur came on her skin and I saw with shock that it was a wolf. I don't understand this at all but abruptly the wolf changed into my Mom in her Human form and Mom groggily woke up. I asked her about this Wolf change but she was really sleepy proceeded to put me to bed.

4/12/98

Then today I asked her again about her wolf change but Mom wouldn't tell me, told me it was a dream I had. She tried to convince me that it was a dream instead of this being real.

As for the hybrid, I named her Kylie after an Australian singer. I must admit that I'm a fan of Australia because Mom, some time ago, told me that Grandma and Grandpa wanted to move to Australia when they came over from Europe. They were traveling through the U.S.A. and as a result fell in love with Connecticut that they stayed for years.

I found Kylie gone from the house. Mom left a note on the kitchen table before she left for work at the local bookstore.

"Anastia,

Next time leave the door closed.

Mom"

I felt like Kylie was a ghost or a dream but I examined the door and discovered that Kylie must have used her mouth to open the door and let herself out. I wandered outside to look around and found Kylie snoozing under the house through a hole. She refused to come out when I tried to lure her with food. I discovered that she was afraid of sunlight, because when the clouds covered the sun, she came out and ate the meat I left for her. I got a good glimpse of her and was surprised to see that Kylie was what I saw her last night. She also didn't have any claws but she had a tail that wagged like a dog. Then when the sun came out of the clouds, she abruptly abandoned the meat and ran under the house through the hole and wouldn't come out as long as the sun was out. I suspect that she was tortured because she had wounds on her back. I also saw them boil a bit when the sun shined on her. I guess she's allergic to the sun.

4/13/98

Mom told me she is leaving for Connecticut. This is due to her mind being made up to leave. She gave notice in her job and sold some of her things left from the house to buy the cabin for me. Mom told me it was a retreat for me to live in and not suffer from problems.

I wondered what she was talking about from suffering any problems but the voice in my head told me stuff like "Genetic experimental creature named Anastia" over and over.

What the heck does the voice mean anyway? It sure doesn't make any sense at all.

Later, tonight was a somber affair because my parents took me out to a local restaurant and had pizza. They wouldn't talk to each other at all. Mom wouldn't let me have some alcohol and she and Dad nearly argued in front of me about that. The waitress was rude too; she slammed down the pizza pan in front of me and dropped some napkins on me. She also nearly tipped my soda drink in my lap but I caught the drink before she could do this. I complained to my parents about that but they weren't any help. My parents weren't listening to me, because they were busy glaring at each other as they ate some pizza. Then they argued on who should pay the bill. I suggested that they split the bill, which they did. Then Mom grabbed my left arm and pulled me towards her jeep and drove me to the cabin with Dad following behind them in his Zeskaya issued SUV. Mom wasn't happy about that. In the cabin, Dad followed us inside and then Mom hauled me to my room. I suspect that they were fighting again. I did notice that Dad had a piece of paper in his left hand. Every time I left my room to grab a book or something my parents would stop talking and look at me with worry on their faces. Then while in my room I felt something like a door slam and then Dad came in my room to say good bye and then he left as I followed him to the front door. Mom stood at her room watching me and looking quite mad. She swung her blonde hair out of her face and stared at me at the front door. I watched Dad's SUV leave till I couldn't see it anymore then went to my room.

4/14/98

I got up to find that Mom left a note on the table that said:

"Anastia,

Gone to the airport to Connecticut, I'm sorry to leave unexpectedly but I couldn't stay in this town anymore with your father. I'm sorry about this.

Mom"

Mom came back at lunch and I was surprised to see her. She told me that Dad must have used his connections keep the plane away from her. I think she was mad at Dad and made a rash decision and then changed her mind later. Dad came to Mom's cabin and they had an argument outside with me peering out the window, which I wrote it down in my journal. I lip read them saying:

Dad: "Please don't let Anastia drive any vehicles at all."

Mom: "Did you see how the people of this town treat her?"

Dad: [sighed] "Yes I've seen them but we can't let Anastia go away from this town. My bosses won't allow it."

Mom: "Who cares about your bosses? It's the towns' people who are treating her like she's a freak!"

Dad: "She is a Genetic Experiment that can't be let go or there'll be trouble!"

Mom: "Some Genetic Experiment! Being treated like a freak is no excuse at all!"

Dad: "I can't do anything; my hands are tied because of my bosses' insistence!"

Mom: "Then tell your bosses that this behavior isn't tolerable!"

Dad: "I did! I told my bosses this but they insist that Anastia has to learn how to fend for her own!"

At this moment Dad's SUV alarm flashed and he looked at the vehicle and then at me peering at the window. Mom seeing me watching turned her back and they resumed their argument with their backs to me.

This argument might explain why the voice in my head has been calling me "Genetic Experimental creature named Anastia"

4/15/98

Mom didn't leave till today, is when I last seen her drive away in the jeep. Mom claimed to me that she was going to the next town to rent a room to live because she couldn't stand the town gossip. Then I went back to bed and was waked up with Kylie licking my face. I woke up to see the front door open and to see Kylie looking like she wanted to eat. I checked Mom's room and discovered that Kylie had been snoozing in there while Mom was gone. I got up and got dressed which was jeans, and a sweatshirt then put on my hiking boots. After that I fed Kylie some fish from the refrigerator, which she chewed on while I closed the front door.

Dad came with his SUV and I hid Kylie in my room. Dad came to tell me that my Mom took a plane chartered by my grandparents and flew to, the capital of Connecticut and took a bus trip to Wolfville, Connecticut like Zoya did. Dad seemed angry about this. I asked him why but he told me she gave the town the slip. He was about to say something more but he looked at his beeper and got angry then tried to sign to me about a missing dog using finger spelling. Yet Dad looked at his beeper and then ran out towards the car and fiddled with something under the hood. Then he abruptly left in the SUV. I wonder what's going on but I hope to find out about this later. Also I must mention that my parents' divorce was finalized. I wonder what the piece of paper that Dad had in his hand. I looked in Mom's old room and couldn't find any writing but the garbage can near the Eagle totem had ashes of papers in it.

4/16/98

The voice in my head started getting bossy, telling me how to live my life like getting up at 6am in the morning like "Set alarm to 6am" along with "you're an experiment, do this".

Then do some weird ritual of going four directions before I leave my room or the cabin. The voice proceeded to tell me to go four directions with any object of desire. The voice also told me to grab a branch and bury it in the yard with ribbons around it. I also got this command to eat some slugs I saw on the crawling on the cabin. Ugh, I refused and boy Kylie wouldn't let me near the slugs. She kept snapping at me whenever I went near them. Yuck, I think the voice has gotten bossier lately.

4/17/98

As for Kylie, she's back where's she's belongs in the Zeskaya facility. I couldn't keep hiding her without anyone noticing her. How that happened was I brought some meat while in town with the allowance of five hundred dollars a month that Dad sets aside for me a month to live on. I spent something like ten dollars worth of meat. The sales lady of the grocery store with a gray streak in her black hair and tan skin that had a cruel look on her face was wearing some fancy pink sweat suit on, was really nosy about that.

The voice in my head said "Tell her about Kylie" over and over that it was an urge which made me wound up telling her about a German Shepherd Dog that I found that I was feeding.

Then as I walked out I saw her talking on the phone. I couldn't lip read her because of her hand on her mouth. I also walked home and saw a Zeskaya Facility animal control truck rumbling by me. I must mention it takes me like awhile to walk to the cabin and back because I was walking. As I got home I found the front door smashed open and the Zeskaya Facility animal control truck there. They were hauling out an unconscious Kylie by actually dragging her on the ground. This seemed cruel to me that I tried to protest but an officer a guy who resembled the pink sweat suit lady with a gray streak in his black hair and tan skin, pulled out his gun on me and smirked to the others hauling Kylie into the truck.

I lip read, "This girl is trouble and is so stupid to think she can keep an animal in deplorable conditions."

Boy was I mad that I yelled at him "I'm not stupid!"

He had a look of surprise on his face as he stared at me and then he went into the truck with the others and they drove away. I can't believe that this guy called me stupid. Rude of him and it was annoying.

4/18/98

I walked to the town on the main road, I saw cars slow by me and people were looking at me with a different range of looks, mostly disgust and anger. One guy in his car drove by fast waving his fist out the window. I wonder what his problem was anyway. I guess me hiding Kylie had something to do with this. Plus how am I supposed to know that she was originally from the Zeskaya facility? Not to mention Dad still hasn't invited me to his work yet.

I keep asking him about that whenever I see him but he says "Soon".

I tried to send Mom a letter to Connecticut but it returned unopened with return to sender in someone's handwriting that suspiciously looks like Dads. I meant whenever I go to the Post Office to mail it I find the letter in my mailbox with Dad's handwriting on it later in the day. I also went to the library to find out about any more information about Lisha but I found the website that featured the address about Elizabeth taken down. I think Grandma and Grandpa again.

4/19/98

I'm not sure but I suspect that my cabin is being used by squatters, because I'm missing food and items. I wound up walking to the police station and I tried to complain but they laughed in my face and escorted me out of the station. One cop a Native American looking guy put handcuffs on me and drove me home to the cabin just in time to see the pink sweat suit lady came out of my cabin with a garbage bag. Her car was a black SUV. The cop took the handcuffs off me and let the lady go despite my protests. She flashed him some I.D. card which got the cop upset that he didn't arrest her. He left escorting her SUV out of the driveway with his car. I wound up looking in the cabin and found things that I know Kylie touched were missing. Such as the sheets in Mom's old room that Kylie slept on and my clothes that I was wearing like my pajamas when I found Kylie.

I don't know what's going on but the voice in my head has been saying "Traitor, pig, bitch" over and over.

I think the pink sweat suit lady was working for the Zeskaya facility and they were looking for Kylie. I also believe they didn't want to alarm the locals about Kylie at all. I'm not sure what's going on but I'll be sure to ask Dad about that tomorrow.

4/20/98

I took a four mile journey to the Zeskaya Facility walking just to ask Dad about Kylie and what was going on. I passed by the store where the pink sweat suit lady was working in. She appeared to be nosy, watching me walk to the facility road and enter it. I think she blabbed to the police about that because no sooner I've gone on the dead end road when two cops in a red SUV came from behind me and blocked my way. One of them I recognized as a guy who was called me stupid was there in the SUV. He pointed his gun at me and gestured for me to turn around with the gun. I refused and kept walking forward. Then the cop fired his gun in front of me and it was some stun gun because the bullet hit me in the stomach and bounced off as I crumbled to the ground. The cops practically dragged me to the vehicle and drove to the cabin where they left me lying on the front yard in pain. This took me most of the day to crawl to the cabin and close the door before crawling to bed to sleep. I also managed to write this down too.

4/21/98

Dad came in waking me up from sleep early in the morning, while I was snoozing in Mom's room and told me not to visit him at the facility. I asked him politely why I couldn't live with him there.

His face became sad and then he looked at his beeper and then signed something like "Genetic mistake happens" before running to his car and then driving away.

I wonder what's going on. I also hate it when Dad is being mysterious.

I'm hearing "Genetic mistake Anastia".

I don't know what that means anyway. I'm also annoyed that people in this town are treating me rudely. I ought to escape to another town but how? I can't just walk to another town because the nearest town is like an hour away by vehicle. I also don't have my drivers' license at all. I think I have some experience in driving but people won't let me drive their cars. Like one incident happened days before Mom left is when Mom let me drove the jeep up and down the driveway with her in the passenger seat, the cops came and gave Mom a five hundred dollar fine for having me drive the jeep without my license. Another incident was when my parents' were living together, is when Mom let me drive her jeep to the store with her in the passenger seat. I also had a learners permit. As I drove down the street slowly following state limits is when the cops came. Mom made me pull over. She had a talk with the cops but they were laughing at her as they handed her a pink sheet of paper. I found out from Dad that it was some five hundred dollar fine for letting me drives the car down the street recklessly they claim. I don't get it because who blabbed to the police but I suspect the mail man did it. I saw the same senile mailman watching me drive the Mom's jeep up and down the driveway and I saw him talk on his radio, probably about me. I wasn't able to lip read him because of his beard. Ugh, I think the natives of this town don't want me to drive, unless it was Dad's doing.

4/22/98

I went outside to see the slugs on the cabin door despite the voice in my head screaming "No! Don't do it or you'll regret it."

Over and over but I was curious of why Kylie wouldn't let me near them so I took some pictures of them with a camera and then looked at them closely. I was surprised to see that they weren't slugs but electronic devices on the cabin looking and shaped like slugs. I had no idea what they were but I looked at the inside of the cabin closely and I could see some electronic slugs in the corners of the cabin. I had no idea why the slugs were electronic. It baffled me but I think the electronic slugs might explain some things like Dad trying to sign to me about something relative to their argument but his beeper would go off and the car would flash its alarm.

4/23/98

I think this nosiness of mine made me homeless because I was walking home when I found the cabin on fire and there were fire trucks there. They weren't doing anything but just standing around drinking something from foam cups and laughing. They stopped laughing when one of them saw me walk down the driveway towards the cabin. One of them tried to keep me away from the inferno but I stood there watching the flames eat the entire cabin. Lucky for me I just came from the local Laundromat where I was washing and drying my clothes. They fit into a small red suitcase. I also had my journal in a purse bag with me.

The local newspaper Wolf's Howl News took my photo and I found my picture of me staring at the flames intensively on the cover along with this headline "Freak's cabin burned" from seeing people with the newspaper and flaunting it in my face which got the voice in my head saying "Freak, freak!"

I wasn't able to buy the newspaper because where they were sold in the general store was sold out so I went to the newspaper office just to get a copy.

I went inside the newspaper office in a house and saw some people staring at me with glares as I heard "Traitor, Bitch, and Pig".

I politely asked for a copy of the current issue. A lady who was dressed in jeans and a green turtleneck handed me a copy of the day's newspaper with the headline and then I left to the local library to read the newspaper. In it the newspaper talked about the cabin I was living in was burned by the fire department as deplorable condition. The article claimed that the cabin was falling apart and the upcoming winter would make it inhabitable. I don't believe this and I think it was due to my nosiness that they whoever they are had the cabin burned. I kept the newspaper with my stuff in my red suitcase.

Dad came from the facility to the library. Someone blabbed to him that I was there because he walked in and walked towards the table where I was hidden behind some bookcases. Dad also told me to rent a room at Charlotte's Boarding House. Then he escorted me out of the library to the SUV where he drove me down the street of the town. There were people out watching us like it was a parade. I lip read them calling me names such as "Freak" and I complained to Dad about the cabin being burned. Dad ignored me and drove pass the facility dead end road to down a dirt road to a big brown house on Wetmore Avenue. There was a sign next to the house called Charlotte's Boarding House. I saw an old woman outside the sitting in a rocker reading a book. She stopped reading and went inside the house. Dad told me to get out of the car rudely, which I did and then he drove away.

I heard the voice say "Hurt him, hurt your father."

As I walked to the door of the house and found it locked and I knocked on the door and looked to see the old woman peering out of a window of the door. She shook her head "No" and refused to let me in despite my protest. She pointed to her cordless phone waved me away. I wound up sitting on the steps until it was about 3pm on my watch is when the old lady finally let me in. She told me my Dad called and told her to let her use the bathroom to wash the smoky stink off of me which I did. I changed my clothes to sweats with blue pants and blue sweat shirt. Then the old lady told me to leave, which I was about to refuse when I saw the pink sweat suit lady arrive by SUV. The old lady yelled at me that she was going to call the police and have them escort me off the property. I noticed a cordless phone in her left hand which I grabbed my stuff and left the house. The sweat suit lady came in as I left, was wearing a blue matching sweat suit. The cruel look was still on her tan face as she watched me leave dragging my red suitcase. I walked outside to see the front door slam by the sweat suit lady who walked out and proceeded to follow me down Wetmore Avenue to the town's Main Street road where I walked to the library community center and sat to write in my journal.

I saw her talking to the librarian an old army guy judging by his clothes and tattoos on his arms, who picked up the phone but hung it up when the sweat suit lady talked to him. I couldn't lip read what was said because the lady had her back to me and she was blocking my view of the old army guy, but the lady left and I stayed in the library community Center until 6pm is when the library closes. The sweat suit lady came and rapped the table with her fist startling me. She then asked me to follow her. I followed her to the Charlotte's Boarding House where her car was parked. The old lady again tried to keep us out but the sweat suit lady flashed her ID card which freaked out the old lady who got on the phone. I lip read her talking about Mrs. Groundwater flashing some Zeskaya Facility ID and needed it checked out. The sweat suit lady I assumed Mrs. Groundwater pulled out a key from her pocket and unlocked the front door the moment the old lady left the door. Mrs. Groundwater gestured for me to come in to the foyer to a living room. The old lady was there and she screamed on the phone something about us breaking in the house. Mrs. Groundwater pulled out a stun gun and shot the old lady with it who fell down writhing. Then Mrs. Groundwater with her back to me spoke something on the cordless phone and hung up. She gestured for me to sit down on an armchair. I sat and waited as Mrs. Groundwater attended to the old lady by pulling down ropes from the curtains and tying the old lady up. The old lady was still screaming out in pain. Then the ambulance came and hauled the old lady out to the ambulance and drove away. Mrs. Groundwater gave me a sweet tasting drink that put me to sleep and I felt myself being carried away before everything went black.

Chapter Two- In Zeskaya Facility

The next time I saw Mrs. Groundwater, she was reading my journal and marking notes in her notebook with a red pen while wearing a fancy red sweat suit. She also marked my journal with her red marker like she was an English teacher while sitting in a chair in the room which I noticed was all white and padded with just a sink and a toilet. It also had a barred high window in the room. I tried to talk asking her why she was doing the marking but my throat was dry and my head was feeling out of it. She proceeded to get up from her chair and grabbed a cup of water and then handed it to me like she knew what I wanted. I suspect that I was making cracked gasping noises with my mouth. I gulped down the water and my head cleared like the water was some medicine in it. I sat up and found myself in a white bed. I was wearing white pants and some wrap around top with a white tank top underneath. I also noticed the number one tattooed on my left arm.

Looking at Mrs. Groundwater, I spoke "Hello Mrs. Groundwater."

Mrs. Groundwater looked up and then went back to looking at my journal making notes in her notebook then she handed the journal back to me and unchained me from the bed. She left the room through a sliding door that appeared to be made out of metal, which behind her was another sliding door.

I looked through my journal discovered the date of April 24 and found she highlighted stuff about me mentioning Kylie and my voice in my head like I wrote in previous entries.

I heard "She is trapped" from the voice in my head quite faintly.

This might explain the water's taste because it was too bitter. I explored the room and found that at the ceiling were slugs, electronic from what I could guess. I also checked the metal door and it felt like it was too warm to the touch. I figured the door must have a security system on it. Then I wandered around the room looking at the padded windows. I wandered around and found a small metal door that was my size if I was on my knees crawling. I felt it and pushed it but the small door wouldn't budge weird. Then white smoke came from the air vent on the ceiling and made me sleepy that I fell asleep.

4/25/98

I don't know how long I was out because I felt someone sitting on the bed then the someone licked my face which I recognized to be Kylie when I opened my eyes.

I heard the voice say faintly "She likes you."

I sat up to watch Kylie sit on the bed when I notice a window above the door. I could sense someone standing there but the features were blanked out by the tinted window. I could sense Kylie was happy to see me. I checked the room and the lights were on dim, which I examined Kylie and could see those wounds on her back were apparently healing. This made me glad to know that but I was curious of why I was in the padded room. I got up and felt dizzy. Kylie immediately sat on my chest pushing me down from till I was lying down. Then I found my journal under the pillow and pulled it out. I read my previous entries and found four notes obviously in Mrs. Groundwater's handwriting in the margins.

"Experimental is telepathic, hears voice in her mind" said one note along with the highlighting of my writing about the voice in my head.

Also mentioned "Animal she calls Kylie has imprinted on experimental" with highlighting about Kylie and I as another note said "Experimental is determined", which mentioned my aborted attempted visit Dad at the Zeskaya Facility.

The fourth note said "Experimental is curious" regarding my nosiness, reading Mom's paper about Lisha and the electronic slugs too.

Kylie grabbed my journal and went through the small metal door with it. I dizzily got up from the bed and crawled in the door to see it led to a room that was full of plants with dimmed sun lights. The room seemed to be in a warehouse judging by the ceiling, which had gangplanks with people dressing in white coats walking on them making notes with their clipboards. I could see all kinds of plants that seemed to be a jungle and I looked around to find Kylie sitting in at my side with my journal in her mouth. She was panting like a dog. I grabbed my journal from her and she pounced on me and I fell to the ground. She proceeded to cuddle me in a hug. Then she let me go and walked around me. I felt the ground and found it was made out of some fake grass material, which made me curious. I followed Kylie around the jungle area with lots of plants.

She looked happy to see me and the voice said "Don't worry she'll be your friend."

I wound up exploring the jungle area which was bordered by stone walls with the warehouse feeling above. I saw a small pond which Kylie took a drink from. Kylie wouldn't let me take a sip from the pond because she snapped at me and blocked my way from getting near the pond. I looked up above me and I could see the lights blinking but they stayed dim. The lab coat people about two of them were leaning over the gangplank rails waving their arms. They were too far away for me to lip read them when I looked at first. Then I looked again and I could see their faces clearly and with shock that they looked like Mrs. Groundwater, complete, with seem less angry cruel look on their faces.

I lip read one shout "Don't drink the water!"

Then I shouted to them, "Ok! I won't drink the water!"

They had a look of surprise on their faces when I shouted at them but the look went away as they wrote notes in their clipboards.

I lip read one of them say "She's a lip reader for an experimental with her hearing cut off."

The other said "She's watching us. Cover your mouth."

I heard the voice in my head say "A mistake happened" over and over.

I tried to concentrate to figure out what was causing me to hear the voice in my head but the chemical imbalance (the voice in my head) reared its ugly head by insulting me "Demon spawn ha-ha".

This made me more depressed and I sat down besides a tree while looking at the people above me. I wanted to make sure that it was safe enough for me to sit at the tree. They made no moment as I sat but only wrote something on their clipboards. I sat and watch Kylie settle down at my feet and lay like a dog relaxing with her tail switching as a cat. The lights dimmed too dark for me to write in my journal and I fell asleep. During the snooze I felt the tree move shaking back and forth and I looked to see some zapping blue electricity come from the branches of the tree. Kylie, I found was sitting on my lap with her paws on my chest. I felt her head looking at the electric sparks. I also saw some other trees giving off electric sparks too. I suspect the tree I was leaning against wasn't a tree but some kind of living tree like being. I aimed my eyes towards the people on the gangplanks and saw they didn't look too concerned to me. I tried to get up but Kylie wouldn't let me. She sat on me keeping me trapped between her and a moving tree which as a result I fell asleep.

4/26/98

I was waked by the lights above flashing on and off. I woke up to see Kylie was gone off my lap to somewhere. I looked up and I could see a woman standing there waving her arms. She was like Mrs. Groundwater but younger. I suspect the people here at the facility are like Mrs. Groundwater herself.

The younger version of Mrs. Groundwater pointed to her lips and spoke "Please go back to the white room and eat."

I wound up getting up and I couldn't find the white room door because the jungle had moved during the night as I slept with Kylie.

The young woman waved her arms again and I looked at her and she pointed to a direction on my right and said "That way."

I walked to the direction she pointed till I reached a wall and found a metal door open. I walked into a small gray room with small windows of water going up and down like an ocean. The door closed behind me and the room swiveled then a door opened and I saw the same padded room where Kylie was there eating some meat. I walked inside and on the bed was a package of foods with a red bottled drink. My diet of foods over the years of living in Wolf's Howl varies from meat, fish and what the local restaurant offers to me like pizza which is some of the foods I can keep down. I have a problem with foods that when I eat it some of them come back up from my stomach like my body rejected the foods. I wonder why I'm writing this disgusting thing but I felt like it was important to mention. The foods I discovered were colorful squared food that crunched under my teeth and with some red drink that tasted sweet. I ate it and found that my stomach accepted the foods right away. I could tell because I no longer was feeling some stomach pains that make me throw up.

I had a case of that the night I first saw Kylie outside the outhouse at Mom's cabin. This happened four hours after eating some meat Mom prepared for me. I wonder what was wrong with the meat but Kylie ate it and didn't suffer from any side affects the time she lived with me after Mom left. I took care of her by feeding her foods from the freezer until my food supply ran out then I had to walk to the town to get some more food. I also had to lock her in Mom's room just to keep Kylie from following me into town. This was because the mail man left a newspaper about some creature killing a guy's dog during the night when I found Kylie. I think the creature was Kylie that killed the dog because she was hungry. I also discovered that they drugged the food too because as it's making me woozy and seeing things not as it is, like Kylie shape shifted to be a naked Human male, weird.

4/27/98

I felt during the night as I lay out of it chained to the bed, I felt Human hands remove my pants and proceeded to breed with me. I don't know why but who ever did the breeding thing was dressed like Kylie just to fool me. I could feel fur as the person a male entered me and then left his seed in me. I was too out of it to enjoy this mating. I couldn't see who it was because of something covering my eyes. This felt very weird that Kylie would do such a thing but it sure explains my seeing Kylie shape shift to a Human male form as I fell asleep and drugged out of it. Then I woke up to discover that I was under some lights of a room with people dressed in medical scrubs. I felt them were pulling something from me. I could sense movement in my abdomen and pain as they pulled the baby I think was a baby out of me. Then I watched as one of the figures took a bundle covered in a blanket and left the room. After that I was given a needle shot and feel unconscious.

I woke up to feel Kylie licking my face and I spoke "You're a male aren't you?"

Kylie stopped licking me and pulled away and walked to the small doorway with tail down.

Kylie make that Kyle looked at me and I heard by the voice in my head "I'm a man, a male."

It dawned on me that Kyle could communicate with me by voice in my head.

I asked out loud "Then why did the voice in my head convince me that you were a female?"

Kyle looked at me and I heard the voice say "nosy female."

With that comment repeating in my head Kyle left the room through the small door. I wanted to get up but I felt pain in my abdomen and I was wearing some sort of blue hospital gown. I pulled it up and saw a scar line across my abdomen and my abdomen was no longer flat, but a little rounded like I just had a baby. The feeling of loss of a baby didn't enter my mind at all. I lay there and found my journal under the pillow again. I checked it to see three notes in the margins from Mrs. Groundwater scrawled over my entries using my name Anastia:

1. "Anastia doesn't know the correct gender of the animal hybrid, Kylie should be Kyle."

2. "Anastia seems to have some telescopic vision."

3. "Anastia is apparently a lip reader."

Apparently I didn't bother to look under Kyle's skirt to see if she was actually a male but it sure doesn't make any sense of why I saw that male and why Kyle would mate with me.

4/28/98

Dear Elizabeth,

I decided to write the journal entries as letters, Elizabeth Zeskaya, my cousin, living in Connecticut, who I've written about before. I felt like I should write the journal entries as letters.

What's new with me is I was pregnant again. Kyle mated with me again and this time I'm lying in the bed feeling sore from having twins. How I know that because I saw the same hospital room setting again. After Kyle mated with me out of it, I fell asleep and then woke up in the same round room with the people dressed in hospital scrubs were doing the same thing but this time they took out two bundles out of the room. I suspected that I had twins. I have no idea of the genders of the babies or the first baby I had yesterday. I also am baffled as to how short time I've been out pregnant and why I haven't seen the babies at all. I also don't get it on how I could be pregnant for a day and have babies fast. Weird, I think I'm going to have to think of names for the babies I just had. I felt really sore as I lie on the bed. Kyle of course won't let me get up. I'm not happy that I won't have a chance to see what the babies look like and a chance to see what genders they are or name them. Humph, it's annoying me.

Love,

Anastia

4/29/98

Dear Elizabeth,

My day got good, I got to see the babies but behind a dark tinted window. Mrs. Groundwater woke me up and Kyle was elsewhere. She helped me get up to a wheelchair where she put a blindfold on me and chained me to the wheelchair. I was allowed to bring my journal along. I felt the wheel chair move and enter the elevator. It went down in a whooshing like air feeling. Then the elevator stopped and she wheeled me into someplace that had stuffy air and was rumbling a bit. I couldn't see through the blindfold and even when I scrunched my eyes I felt an electric shock at the back of my neck. Due to my hands being chained I wasn't able to feel the back of my neck. I felt the stuffy air and it was hot and the wheelchair kept jerking and jerking like it was some ride. I think Mrs. Groundwater stopped pushing me and let some machine do the job, because the jerking made me automatically think of a machine.

I was hearing voices in my head say "Wah, I want a friend! Give me some food! I'm hungry!"

Over and over, then the wheelchair stopped and I felt the blindfold jerked off. I blinked my eyes and I was in a room with Mrs. Groundwater standing next to me. The room was dark and it was lighted by a large window in front of me. I looked and I could see a room which had four large tubes with wires on the tops. There were people dressed in covered white medical scrubs waving devices over the larger than their size tubes. I looked and I could see some movement in the tubes. Looking closely I saw that in two of the tubes were my children. The other two were empty. In tube one was a youngling who appeared to be a male with black hair and reptile like skin. He opened his eyes which appeared to be reptile looking and looked as apparently sensing me. It was eerie because he looked straight at me.

He raised his small left clawed hand as if saying "hello" and then closed his eyes.

I heard a voice in my head say "Hello Momsy".

There was a tube attached to his belly button and I could see he was floating in some blue water substance. There was a sign on the tube that said in capital letters: "Aiden."

I saw in tube two were two babies, a boy and a girl with the sign "Px5 and Tia."

The name PX5 made me a little annoyed.

I asked Mrs. Groundwater "Why is his name Px5?"

Mrs. Groundwater looked at me with pity in her eyes and told me "Look closer at him and see why."

So I looked closer and I could see that the boy had a tube in his mouth that was attached to Tia's neck and I could see that he appeared to be drinking from the tube like it was blood through it. He also appeared to have some sort of antennas on his head and his hair was a different shape from Tia's and he had something on his back like insect butterfly wings.

This was weird but I was confused until the voices in my head said "Genetic mistake bloodsucker."

Then I asked again to Mrs. Groundwater "why can't you give him a regular name anyway?"

Mrs. Groundwater sighed and spoke "The One determined the names, not me."

I took a closer look at the twins and I could see the boy had his eyes opened and he was looking like he wanted to cry and was looking mad. I saw that Tia was looking calm and had her eyes closed while floating in the tube with her brother. I decided then and there to name the twin boy "Dan" because the name PX5 was ridiculous. Then at that moment Mrs. Groundwater put the blindfold over my eyes despite my protests and I felt a needle shot in my right arm and I felt unconscious.

Love,

Anastia

4/30/98

Dear Elizabeth,

I woke up to feel Kyle sitting on me staring at me. I was lying, in a near sitting up position with Kyle on my chest. I took a good look at him and I could see his eyes were a golden animal color but then they blinked and then Kyle's features changed. His large face became smaller and his eyes became Humanoid blue and black hair came out of his head growing and his fur reverted back into his skin. I was staring at a Human male with muscles.

I heard in my mind a voice say "Hello Anastia."

As I looked at him I could see his face and saw that he appeared to be a Native American with his brown skin and he seemed happy to see me. I was wondering what to say when he changed into his Tiger/Dog form as Mrs. Groundwater came into the room looking annoyed. She gestured to Kyle and with some hand language and I lip read her speaking some gibberish, scolded Kyle about something. Kyle looked at her and growled. I could sense him growling and he bared his teeth at Mrs. Groundwater who spoke again gibberish. Then Kyle slinked off of me and with a leg shaking at Mrs. Groundwater as he left through the small door.

I spoke "It's ok for Kyle to change his form in front of me."

I had no idea where those words came from but I felt compelled to speak.

Mrs. Groundwater put her hands on her hips and spoke "He's not permitted!"

As she stormed to the elevator and I spoke "What did Kyle do?"

Mrs. Groundwater abruptly halted and turned to speak to me when she looked at her beeper. She sighed, then turned around and walked to the elevator. I saw a look of pity in her eyes as the elevator door closed.

Love,

Anastia

5/1/98

Dear Elizabeth,

I found Mrs. Groundwater had written a note in my journal on a page. She must have done it while I was asleep because I didn't see her or Kyle.

She wrote: "Anastia, Kyle's name is originally Vladimir Drakulscu."

It was a short note but the name Vladimir Drakulscu bothered me. It reminded me reading a headline in a local paper and an article last year on Halloween about someone named Vladimir Drakulscu who was a serial killer in the U.S. in the area of New York.

The headline said "Dead!"

The article from memory mentioned how Vladimir would kill his victims by tying them up and then drained them of their blood by using a medical tube to drink. Then how he was captured was because Vladimir kidnapped a young toddler girl whose identity was unknown from another small town in New York far from Wolf's Howl. He even raised her for two years while on his killing spree. Also the young girl wasn't so young. The article said that the toddler girl was a young actor who looked like a toddler due to some medical condition. The girl was named "Masha" by Vladimir. She told the police that he made her drink blood by a tube attached to his arm. It was disgusting. Also she went through a growth spurt that raised her height from three feet to five feet tall. The article mentioned that Vladimir was a refugee from Romania, living illegally in the U.S. Also from what else I remembered was that Vladimir was shot in a shoot out by the police.

I had a feeling that was a lie because I had a dream of a man like Kyle in his Human form entering a white room and there's a girl about twelve years old holding a gun at him.

Vladimir is smirking and saying something like "You won't shoot me, I raised you."

Then the girl shoots him in the chest. He falls to the ground and then the police come barging in the room. Vladimir is flopping like a fish while one of the cops, I recognized to be one of the Wolf's Howl cop who shot me in the stomach with a stun gun. This cop puts the gun execution style behind Vladimir's head and shoots him. Then the dream ends, bizarre, more lately.

Love,

Anastia

5/2/98

Dear Elizabeth,

It's the second day of a new month. I'm not sure of the date but I've been seeing something like a calendar in my room with the word May on it. The dates have not been crossed off.

I also haven't seen Kyle lately but I've been hearing "owe, that hurts" over and over.

I wonder what's with the saying anyway?

I also have been having dreams of a young girl who reminds me of myself who is a few feet tall that had my hair and blue eyes being called Masha by Vladimir. In my dream I see Vladimir walking like he's hunting in the forest like he's seeking something. He's wearing green leaf colored clothes with his hair up in a ponytail. Also he has some sneer on his face as he walks. The forest appears to have trees I've never seen before or recognize. I see a young girl sitting there looking upset while sitting on a blanket. The area is a meadow and there is no one else there. Her mother, I recognize to be my Mom judging by the resemblance to my Mom complete with blonde hair arrived and grabs the girl and runs but Vladimir arrives at the meadow and shoots a stun gun at Mom who falls dropping the little girl. Her form changes into a grey wolf and she growls attacking Vladimir who grabs the wolf and pushes her aside. The wolf stumbles and then falls to the ground and changes form to Mom in Human form that lies there still. The little girl runs screaming, but Vladimir's eyes turn gold and he held out his left hand. Then he says some words I don't understand despite lip reading his mouth. The little girl turns and then walks to Vladimir like in a trance. Vladimir picks her up and walks away carrying the girl.

Then I woke up to see Kyle sitting on me. I haven't seen him in awhile but I noticed that he has a big bandage on his back. I wonder why but when I went to touch the bandage, he snapped at me with his teeth.

I heard a voice say "Owe, that hurts," and "don't touch".

So I lay there with Kyle on me sitting on my lap. I fell asleep and then felt something like a needle prick in my right arm and I woke up to see Mrs. Groundwater looking at me with Kyle sitting on me. She left the room as I fell unconscious.

I woke up again to feel pain in my abdomen with Kyle sitting at my foot with his seat on the floor.

He cocked his head as to say "Are you ok?"

Then I felt the familiar soreness in my abdomen and I was wearing the familiar blue smock again. Kyle wouldn't let me sit up so I lay staring at him. He was wearing a thick blue collar with a small black box on it.

I watched as he attempted to change his form and I saw electricity come from the box along with the familiar "owe that hurts".

I put my hands on his head and said "Kyle, Stop doing that, because it'll hurt every time."

Kyle gave a shudder and snuggled close to me with his paws on my stomach. I held his head in my hands and sat up, which Kyle didn't protest and I snuggled closer to Kyle. I went asleep and next thing I knew I found myself in the jungle again leaning against a tree. I saw Kyle sitting on my chest and my legs while staring at me. He had a pathetic "poor me" look in his eyes. I felt sorry for him but then the lights dimmed and I went to sleep again.

Love,

Anastia

5/3/98

Dear Elizabeth,

During the night I sensed Kyle becoming irritated. I couldn't see in the dark but I could feel him seemed to be restless. I put my hands on his head and felt the collar. It was thick metal like collar with some box attached to it. I felt it with my hands and I could sense a metal lock on the end, the kind of lock that needs a key. I wasn't happy about that but I guessed it was to prevent him from changing his form. I wondered how I got in the jungle with Kyle. I looked up at the ceiling to see some people walking around with the familiar clipboards. They were just jotting notes and stuff. I sat there watching them as Kyle paced. I wonder what his problem was but I discovered him changing his form despite the collar's shocking electricity. Then in his naked Human form he yanked off the collar and stalked towards me with some weird look in his eyes. I watched him pick me up and sit at the tree holding me while rubbing his right hand on my face.

I lip read him say "So beautiful".

Then I looked up to see a guy with a big sharpshooter gun aimed at us. Kyle in his Human form sneered and stuck his middle finger at the guy with the gun and then some dart appeared on his wrist. I saw him grab it and threw it aside. Then he fell asleep changing his form and I sat there in his arms staring at him, as I felt some pain on my left shoulder and I saw a dart in it with feathers. I wound up falling asleep.

Love,

Anastia

5/4/98

Dear Elizabeth,

I woke up to see Mrs. Groundwater with her back to me, wearing some blue sweat suit, cross off the days of May till she stopped onto May 4, 1998. She circled May 5, 1998. I was lying in the same white room again in a sitting up position.

I spoke "Hello Mrs. Groundwater."

She turned and looked at me and glared then I watched as she stomped off to the elevator. I wondered what happened while I was unconscious but I discovered I was still wearing the blue smock and my abdomen was feeling really sore like I had a baby again.

I heard the familiar "owe that hurts" along with "No, no, no!"

I deduced that Kyle was being tortured again. I hope not but this might explain the voices. I also wonder about the other two babies I had and I hope to see them sometime. I got my hope because Mrs. Groundwater came and helped me up to a wheel chair and put a blindfold on my eyes. I also felt myself chained to the wheelchair. Then the same trip happened again but this time there was a freezing cold feeling with the wheelchair doing jerky moments.

I heard voices speaking "Get me out of here now! Wah, I'm hungry! I want a friend!"

Then the blind fold was off and I was in a room with the window looking out at four tubes.

I saw Aiden still the same but a little bigger raise his left clawed hand in greeting and heard the voice in my head say "Hello Momsy."

I looked at Tia and could see that her eyes were open looking at me through the window and the voice say "Hello Momsy."

This was eerie and I saw Dan a.k.a. PX5 turn his head to look at me.

He still had a tube in his mouth and the voice says "Mommy, I hurt."

Then I looked at the other two tubes.

One had the word "Torrin" and the other had the word "Ann-Nea"

In the "Torrin" tube I could see a male looking at me and the voice say "Hello Momsy."

Then in the "Ann-Nea" tube I saw that it was a female who was awake looking at Torrin at the side of her tube and then at the window where I was and again I heard the voice say "Hello Momsy."

Mrs. Groundwater put a needle in my arm and I fell asleep, waking up in bed with Kyle sitting on the bed looking at me. He was wearing some harness that looked like small slugs with electronic lights blinking from it.

I sighed and spoke to Kyle using my voice "I saw the children, all four of them."

Kyle spoke a voice in my head saying "Aiden, Tia, Dan and Ann-Nea"

I asked Kyle "How did you know their names?"

Kyle again in my head spoke "The One granted my request to name them except Dan."

I wearily sat up and spoke "What kind of name is PX5 anyway?"

Kyle got up the bed and stared at me saying "He was not expected and a mistake."

I asked Kyle "Then why do I hear the voices calling me a 'Genetic Mistake'?"

Kyle sat and stared at me "Nature has created you unexpectedly."

Then he walked away into the passage to the jungle room before I could ask him what he meant.

Love,

Anastia

5/5/98

Dear Elizabeth,

Mrs. Groundwater shook me awake while I was asleep and I found myself wearing red pants and a red wrap around top.

She pointed to the calendar May and told me "it's the fifth."

I asked her "What's so special about the fifth besides it being some Mexican holiday?"

She spoke "You'll see."

Then she helped me to a wheelchair and didn't put the blindfold on me but allowed me to bring my journal along. She wheeled me to the elevator and it went up then reached a white hallway and entered a room with that was dark except for a light shining through a window. She wheeled me to the window and I looked to see two young adults, a male with blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail with apparent blue eyes. He was dressed in a blue jumpsuit and the female that reminded me eerie of me. She had brown like black hair pulled in a ponytail, with some pale tan skin with apparently had brown eyes and was wearing an identical jumpsuit like the male. The female was teaching the male hand signs while sitting at a table covered with books and papers. Then I saw a door in the room open and a woman looking exactly like Mrs. Groundwater came in. I looked at Mrs. Groundwater besides me and could see that the woman looked like her twin. Then I saw the male tap the female on the shoulder and pointed at the Mrs. Groundwater twin. I realized that the female was deaf like me.

I asked Mrs. Groundwater "Is that woman your twin?"

Mrs. Groundwater turned behind me and spoke with me lip reading "Is it ok if I tell her?"

I twisted myself around the chair to see a man with grey in his white hair. He was dressed in black and had a name plate on his left breast reading "Broderick".

The man Broderick spoke with me lip reading "Mrs. Groundwater is a clone meaning copy of a living being."

I asked "Why are you showing me this?"

Broderick spoke "Because I ordered this."

I glared and spoke "You're the one who called Dan, PX5."

Broderick spoke "Correct. Mrs. Groundwater, give her the Book of Hayu."

He pronounced the word "Hayu" as "Hey-You" from what I could tell lip reading him.

Mrs. Groundwater went to the wall and pressed a button as a small door opened showing a book. It was a thick book which Mrs. Groundwater handed me an ancient old book crinkling of age. She plopped it on my lap and opened the pages till they settled to a picture obviously drawn in the book. I looked with shock because the picture of a head shot of a person looked exactly like me complete with the dark black hair, dark skin and my blue eyes.

Mrs. Groundwater pointed to some unreadable writing opposite the page and I lip reading her speaking "She is the one whose name will be called Anastia Yuliet give rise to the race that drinks the blood of the other races called Drainer to them but Skyan among themselves."

Then she flipped the pages and settled on a page with a picture of Kyle in his Human form and a picture of his animal form.

She again spoke "He who calls himself Vladimir Drakulscu, bears the face of death to the Humans, will father the race that drinks the blood of the other races who calls them Drainer."

She again flipped the pages and settled on a picture of creature with golden eyes and green skin while dressed in black.

She spoke "He who hides is the creator of the father of the Drainers."

Then she pointed at Broderick who took off his face by pulling his skin and I saw his face was green reptilian looking. Then he pulled two objects from his eyes which revealed a new set of eyes that reminded me of a snake all yellow with a big iris in it.

Broderick spoke with Mrs. Groundwater mouthing the words "Vladimir, who you call Kyle, is my son."

I stared with shock and frowned wondering what to say about this.

Broderick continued "I show you this because it's necessary."

I spoke "why? And what's so special about those two?"

I pointed to the male and female through the glass window who's heads were hunched over books that appeared to be like the Book of Hayu.

Broderick walked towards me with a limp and stood next to me. I looked at Mrs. Groundwater as I faintly lip read Broderick speaking "Tell her the prophecy as foretold about them."

Mrs. Groundwater took the book and flipped some pages then she spoke to me "The male is called Jason and the female is called Kim. The book says about Jason is 'He who name is Jason will father the ones who will lead the Humans in a battle for survival'. The book also says about Kim is 'She whose name is Kim will have a son, the one who will bring hope to all Humans."

"Human" I said, "I'm not human am I?"

Broderick nodded and Mrs. Groundwater "You were created and birthed by your mother Svetlana Najinova on this day, for it's your day of birth."

"No." I said in denial, "My birthday is on July fourth."

Mrs. Groundwater shook her head and spoke "No, you were birthed on May fifth and placed in a tube like your four offspring and came out on July fourth."

I spoke "Oh, How come you don't celebrate the May fifth birthday?"

Then I realized why and spoke "Its because of my sister Zoya is born on that day. Why did she flash golden eyes to me before she left to Connecticut?"

I realized that I said too much about Zoya because Mrs. Groundwater abruptly frowned and gave Broderick a look.

I looked at Broderick who nodded and said "Tell her."

As he plopped on a mask on his green face and put contacts in his eyes that he became human again.

Mrs. Groundwater tapped me on the shoulder and I looked at her.

I lip read her speaking "Zoya is considered a potential match for Jason and she was taken to Connecticut for observation."

Then she held out the Book of Hayu and showed a picture of Zoya drawn in the book with a word "Mahalia" in English and read the words to me: "She, who is called Mahalia, sister to creator of Drainers, will, from her, give rise to all Humans after the Great Death."

I spoke "Oh and what is the Great Death?"

Mrs. Groundwater instead of answering my question plopped the book in my lap and injected me with something and I fell unconscious.

Love,

Anastia

5/6/98

Dear Elizabeth,

I was wakened by Kyle licking my face as I lay on the bed. I groggily sat up and saw the Book of Hayu sitting in my lap. I looked to see that May fifth was crossed off on the calendar and today is May sixth.

I heard Kyle say in my mind "You met my father, Broderick is his name."

I nodded and looked thru the Book of Hayu not understanding the writing but looking at the drawn pictures.

Love,

Anastia

5/7/98

Dear Liz,

I spent the rest of the day trying to read the book and I'm still clueless on this "Great Death" thing and I still can't read the Book of Hayu language. I think the language is Japanese, Russian and Arabic together. I know this from those travel and language books I've been collecting for years. Too bad, I didn't bother to study those language books very much, as for Kyle, is no help with the translation.

He refuses to look at the book and I heard the voice in my head from him say "I will have no part of this book, period."

He also won't hang around me if I have the book out because he seems angry about something and won't tell me when I asked him.

I find that I have to hide the book under my pillow whenever Kyle is around because he told me "I will destroy the book if I see it in my presence."

He won't explain why he'll do what he'll do despite me repeatedly asking him.

Love,

Anastia

5/8/98

Dear Eliza,

As I woke up, I saw Mrs. Groundwater taking the Book of Hayu with her from the room. She left the room before I could talk. Humph again, because Kyle suddenly became friendlier with me by sitting on my lap and falling asleep like a purring Cat. He seemed happy that the Book of Hayu was gone from my presence.

I tried to ask him about the book of Hayu but Kyle snapped at me and I heard him say in my mind, "Do not ask me about that Book!"

So it's still the month of May now and I'm wondering how long I will have to stay here. I'm just surprised that I've been here by my calculations about several weeks now. I still have yet to breathe fresh air or see the sun rise and set. I'm not worried about missing those things because I should really find the good in my situation. Well, the good in my situation is that I'm not in that town walking among the natives lip reading them call me names such as freak and treating me like I'm not an equal living being at all. I mean is I'm a living being who is a genetic experiment created whether by mistake or as Nature intended is a mystery.

I also wonder how long Aiden, Tia, Dan, Torrin and Ann-Nea must stay in those tubes anyway. I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to hold them but I don't know because it seems highly unlikely. I sometimes day dream about how I came to exist. I really can't help wondering why my parents had me in the first place. Oh I should be missing Mom and Dad but I just don't which weird me out because I don't miss them at all. I think this is because I am not angry at Mom and Dad for not helping me with this situation in the town. Oh well, I guess I should be happy that I'm here in a place where I'm wanted and respected. I just hope I get to stay here for awhile with Kyle because I like being respected and in an environment that I don't have to put up with people calling me names, ugh.

I decided to use different names when I write my journal entries to my cousin Elizabeth such as "Liz, or Elizabeth." I figured I might as well do that then just to vary my letter entries.

From,

Anastia
Chapter Three-Back in Wolf's Howl

Dear Liz,

I woke up as the sun was rising, wearing jeans, my usual hiking boots and a blue sweatshirt while lying on a patch of fake Daffodils in front of the police station being poked by Cop looking Native American who helped me to my feet. I asked him about the date, for he had a pity look on his face and told me the month was May and the year was still 1998. He refused to give me the day when I asked at him because he gave me a weird look. Then he put the cuffs on my wrists and hauled me staring at him into the police station. In the station was the cop with the white streak in his black hair, like Mrs. Groundwater who looked surprised to see me, I recognized to be the one who called me "Stupid" some time ago when he and others were hauling Kyle from my said deplorable cabin, was there. I also checked my mind and I think I'm cured of the voices because I wasn't hearing anything in my head, interesting.

I lip read the Native American cop saying to white streak cop "I found her lying in front of the station unconscious."

The cop with a white streak had a look of disgust on his face spoke as I lip read him, "Put her in one of our cells, Walker."

I assume the Native American; his name is Walker took me down a hallway towards the cells, three in number, and all in a row. He undid the cuffs off of me and pushed me in a cell. I could see that there was a pity look in his eyes which he tried to cover up when I looked at him. I sat in the grey small cell with bars in front of me and bars in the windows behind me. I also looked at my hand to see a new journal different from my old one with a blue pen, when Walker hauled me in. This journal was a thick red spiral notebook with pockets marking the five sections in it.

The cover said "Anastia's Diary" written in my Mom's familiar handwriting.

I also wondered what happened to my old blue leather journal and I wondered why I was back in Wolf's Howl, for what? I also wonder what's going on.

While in the jail, Walker came and waved his hand at me which got my attention. He had a written piece of paper in his hand that he handed to me. I copied the contents down:

"You'll be released once your father Okays it."

That was what the entire note said then he left the cell. I sat there frowning and wondering what was going on. I also wondered why I was released after being confined in the Zeskaya facility. I think I liked living there too much that they kicked me out as a result.

Dad came with Walker and it had been days since I've seen my father.

I tried talking to him but he covered his lips with his mouth in the hand sign of saying "shut up."

He looked more tired with circles under his eyes and his black hair that had streaks of grey in it last time I've seen him, had some white in it. He sure looked a lot older now. Dad gestured for me to come out of the cell which I nimbly followed him to outside the police station to the SUV where Dad had parked in the station parking lot. The drive was in silence as he drove towards the main street of the town. I could see that the town was the same but some people I recognized that called me names last time had looks of surprise on their faces, when they saw me in the car with Dad, who drove me down the road to out of the town to a familiar driveway of Charlotte's Boarding House. Once again I saw a familiar figure of Mrs. Groundwater or her twin copy came dressed in a blue sweat suit leaving the boarding house as Dad drove up. She stood with a weird look on her face that reminded me of shock, watching us enter the boarding house.

Inside, Dad led me up the stairs to a blue door with the sign "Reserved for Anastia Stonehawk" which someone had crossed out the word "Anastia Stonehawk" for the word "Freak".

I sighed and stared at Dad and was about to speak when Dad did the "Shut Up" sign again.

I saw that the square room was like a cave because it didn't have any windows, was just one room that was furnished with a queen sized mattress on the floor on one wall, with a wooden dresser was next to it along with low bed stand with a doll lamp in green, I recognized to be my sister Zoya's on the other side of the mattress. There also were a set of white closet doors in front of the mattress in the wall and I saw there was a sliding door with vertical blinds leading to a wrap around porch that I saw wrapping around the second floor of the house from outside. Looking around I also saw a small as a closet with a shower head stall, a bathroom behind a closed door jutting out of the room with a kitchen unit next to it in one corner next to the door to the room. I saw Dad sighed and signed for me to stay and that he'll go get me some things. I sat on the bed and looked around the room. I could see in the corners of the ceiling were those familiar electronic slugs. I frowned and wondered why I was being let out of the facility.

I also saw an envelope addressed to me, "Anastia Stonehawk" in Zoya's handwriting lying on the bed.

There was no address on the envelope. Inside was a letter that I copied down in my journal that said:

May 3, 1998

Dear Anastia,

It's your sister Zoya, I miss you a lot and I can't wait for the day to come when I could see you. I'm currently going to high school in Connecticut. Life is different from living here than it is in Wolf's Howl. I find that my life is busier with things to do that it was in a small town. I can't wait for my seventeenth birthday to come in two days. I really would like to have you around as a birthday present but if you can't come that's ok because Gramma says I can write you a letter and she'll see that you'll get it. I also hope that you'll be able to write back to me once you get the letter because I'm dying to hear what's new with you. I also want to know how you're coping with the town's people. Are they still treating you rudely and calling you names? I say if this happened to me, I would yell at them to grow up because it's childish behavior. I hope you can write back soon.

Love your

Sister,

Zoya

I sighed and folded the letter in the journal which had a pocket in it. The journal was different from the blue leather journal I brought back in April, like I said. Then Dad came with a big black suitcase full of stuff for me to use in my small studio apartment. He helped me put the contents away, and then he gave me a hug with a small smile on his face and hauled the suitcase out and left. I went out the sliding door and looked outside on the porch to see a high fenced yard and saw the greenery. I also breathe in the air very deeply and leaned against the porch railing looking around.

I felt a tap on my shoulder to see Mrs. Groundwater or twin copy, with that weird expression on her face, pointed to her lips and spoke to me lip reading "Don't lean on the railing, it's not very sturdy."

I nodded to get the message, I asked her politely for the date for May. She gave me a weird expression on her face and told me it was the ninth of May. I managed to thank her and I went inside the studio apartment and decided to sit next to the sliding doors peering out of the blinds. I didn't see much but greenery but Mrs. Groundwater go by a few times. I think she was checking up on me because I noticed that her eyes kept looking at the sliding door each time she went by. I just hope I can take Zoya's advice about telling people to grow up whenever they treat me rudely or call me names. I stayed leaning against the sliding door till it was time for bed, so more later.

Love,

Anastia

5/10/98

Dear Liz,

I walked out my room to find that someone had replaced the sign on my door with a new sign with my name on it. I decided to go down stairs, to the parlor room where I saw Mrs. Groundwater's twin sitting in a chair, reading an apparent paperback Romance novel. She looked up to see me sit down in the chair next to her facing the doorway to the parlor room.

I spoke "Hello, um, didn't catch your name."

Mrs. Groundwater's twin had a thoughtful look on her face then she looked at the ceiling and went back to reading her romance novel. I looked at the ceiling to see nothing but in the corners of the ceiling were those slugs again. I frowned and I wrote Zoya a letter which I put in here:

Dear Zoya,

Hi it's your big sister, I'm doing fine. It's good to hear from you. I haven't heard from you in awhile. How is Mom doing? I haven't heard from her and I want to know how the gang, Gramma, Grampa and Aunt Marina is doing. The weather here has been quite delightful, just kidding. I finally moved to a studio apartment in a boarding house on Wetmore Avenue. It's my second day living in the apartment and I think it's too soon to tell on whether I should enjoy living in the studio or not. I hope you keep writing your letters to me because I look forward to receiving them and hearing from you. Write back Zoya.

Love your

Big sister,

Anastia

I had no idea on how to get that letter to Zoya because the envelope addressed to me didn't have an address but just my name on it. I figured I might as well write my letters to Zoya on separate pages in here and hope that I could rip them out and send her the letters once I get an address. I sat in the parlor till I sensed a door slam. I saw Mrs. Groundwater's twin sit up straighter and pull out a big hardcover book an apparent mystery book from behind her in her seat and hid the Romance novel in a pillow in the chair she was sitting on. I looked to see the cop Walker comes in the parlor. He saw me and scratched his head absent mildly. I sighed and got up from the parlor sensing that Walker and Mrs. Groundwater's twin wanted to be alone. I passed by Walker who looked at me with a confused look on his face and I walked up the stairs to my room. I wound up sitting by the sliding door staring out at the greenery again till it was bed time.

Anastia

5/11/98

Dear Elizabeth and Zoya,

I don't know when I'll be able to sent Zoya or Elizabeth a letter for real so I wound up including Zoya's name in the journal address entry. I wound up walking out of the boarding house to the Main Street, of the town. I saw that things were the same since I was gone. The familiar people's behavior is the same, some name calling but I glared at the name callers who stared at me with shock on their faces when I looked at them with anger. I noticed that there are some people who look at me with pity in their eyes like Walker did too. Those people who looked at me were apparent out of town people because I've never seen them before. I saw Mrs. Groundwater's twin working in the grocery store from seeing her watching me from the window. I noticed the cop with the streak in his hair following me around from a distance. I went to the park in the middle of the town and sat down on the bench to watch the scenery. I saw people looking at me out of the corner of my eyes as they walked by me. A bearded guy I recognized to be the mailman came by and waved his fist at me with an angry look on his face but I abruptly yawned at him. His face turned to shock and I saw him walk away looking at me over his shoulder. I saw him out of the corner of my eye go to the cop with the streak in his hair and seemed to be yelling at the cop by the way he was waving his arms with his back to me.

The cop held up both hands and I lip read him saying "Sorry I can't do that, she hasn't done any thing yet."

I saw the mailman stomp away with fists at the sides of him in apparent anger.

I sat there on the bench watching people till my stomach growled and then I went to the grocery store to buy lunch. I forgot to add that Dad gave me a five hundred dollar a month stipend, on a credit card. At the grocery store I noticed some people looking at me with funny looks like I did something wrong. I ignored the looks and brought some food in a box that were colorful squares at the cash register. The sales lady told me someone bought it for me, but I didn't believe her because of the way she was laughing at me. I must mention that I spent a day in jail once for walking out with some candy after a different sales lady, told me in the same laughing manner that someone bought it for me when I was twelve. I wound up getting quite a scolding from my parents and saying an apology to the sales lady who smirked. Apparently the lady tricked me in thinking someone bought it for me and got me to shop lift the candy. She wound up being fired from her job according to Dad when I was fourteen. I gave a glaring stare on my face at the sales lady who stopped laughing, when it was apparent that I wasn't buying her explanation and I wound up buying the food with the credit card. I ate it in the park, and then made a show of throwing out the box in the garbage bin that was in the park with people watching me. I could see a hint of a smile on the cop with the streak in his hair when he saw me do that. His smile was the same Dad gave me when he hugged me. After that I walked to the boarding house and went to my room.

Respected,

Anastia

5/12/98

Dear Elizabeth and Zoya,

How are you two doing in Connecticut so far? I hope you're enjoying each other's company by talking and being close like sisters even though you're both cousins who are close to age. I miss you, Zoya because I miss having someone to talk to. The town's people stopped calling me names and are ignoring me like they don't want to talk to me. They hold conversations to each other like I'm a fly on the wall eavesdropping. I went to the town store that sells stuff for tourists and books too one morning. A long blonde haired guy with blue eyes, who seemed familiar, was apparently, new in town, tried to strike up a conversation with me while I was at the books, asking me for my phone number. He was dressed in cop issued blue pants, cop like shoes, with a blue sweater that appeared to have something like a bullet proof vest underneath. I told him I was deaf and that I didn't have a phone. He saw me attractive which was good but I noticed people around us stopped what they were doing and were glaring at us. Then a woman, who I saw was the daughter of one of the town's Native American tribal leaders, came and proceeded to drape herself over this guy. He kept pushing her off as he tried talking to me. She grabbed his ear and with other people's help pulled him protesting away from me.

I lip read some people speaking at the guy saying: "Stay away from her! She's a freak! She is being shunned!"

I slammed the book shut and walked to the group who were at the entrance to the store, went silent seeing me walking towards them.

I told the guy quite loudly for all to hear due to my deafness "The only two things freakish about me is my eyes and that I'm deaf, satisfied?"

I abruptly left the store rolling my eyes and muttering to myself "People won't learn."

Then walked to the park to sit down and watch the town's people walking by talking to each other, I was too angry to bother lip reading their lips. I sat stewing for awhile until a felt a tap on the shoulder to see the cop with the streak in his hair.

His name plate I saw read "Groundwater."

He gestured me to follow him, which I told him "If you want me to apologize to those people in that store for making a scene, at least put it in writing because I don't buy this anymore."

His smirking face turned to show shock as I got up and gestured with my hand to lead me. He led me to the police station where I saw people standing around outside glaring at me. They formed an aisle leading to the station. Inside I saw the blonde haired guy with his blue eyes standing there glaring at Walker who was also glaring at him too. They appeared to be in a mist of an argument.

I groaned and stood watching Cop Groundwater talk to Walker saying: "Stop it! This is no place for fighting."

Walker spoke "He came in demanding to know what was so special about that."

Pointing at me he continued talking "Was called a freak and shunned."

Cop Groundwater turned to the blonde haired guy asking him "Why are you so interested in her?"

The blonde guy snapped "Because I'm nosy and I'm one of your new police officers, hands picked by your chief of police, tribal leader, White Feather is his name."

I stared with shock as Walker put a hand on his face and rubbed his face apparently groaning.

Cop Groundwater spoke "You must be Alex Jordan; the one Chief White Feather told us was coming here."

Then it dawned on me where I've seen this guy Alex. He resembled the guy, Jason with the deaf female Kim, who Mrs. Groundwater, on Broderick's orders showed me some time ago while I was being at the Zeskaya Facility.

I saw as Alex's face turned towards me as if studying me.

I lip read him speaking to Cop Groundwater "She looks normal enough despite having those usual blue eyes for a Native American and having a hearing loss."

Cop Groundwater looked at me and said "She's one of the experiments from the Zeskaya facility."

That was a first I've heard someone refer me as an experiment and that I came from the Zeskaya Facility. I was surprised but angry that no one bothered to tell me that fact.

I studied Alex whose eyes narrowed at Cop Groundwater and spoke apparently sarcastically "So? She looks normal enough to pass as a Human."

Cop Groundwater walked away with his hands up as if to say "I give up."

I saw Walker staring at me with pity in his eyes as Alex walked up to me and held up a hand and with other hand pointed to his lips saying "Sergeant Alex Jordan. You must be the famous Anastia Stonehawk and it's nice to meet you."

As I put my hand in his hand he lifted it up and kissed it, which I saw out of the corner of my eyes was Walker staring with a shocked expression on his face while Cop Groundwater narrowed his brown eyes to slits. I could have sworn I saw his eyes glowed gold like Zoya's.

I lip read Alex speaking after he lowered my hand "Walker, Groundwater, what are you looking at? Ever seen a male experimental before?"

Boy was I shocked that someone would be my friend after all the people in this town don't treat me equal.

I saw him turned to look at Walker and Cop Groundwater speaking which I lip read "Chief White Feather felt like it was time an experimental helped keep the peace among Human and experiments."

Releasing my hand he stood facing the two cops and spoke again with both hands open wide "So here I am."

Walker stared and turned to Cop Groundwater, and spoke "It's your call, Jon."

Cop Groundwater whose name is Jon stared at Alex with a glare and said "Fine, I'll take this up with White Feather should you do anything against the rules here."

Alex replied "Doesn't bother me if you take this matter up with White Feather."

Walker frowned and spoke "Um, there's a matter of her breaking the peace in the bookstore. Got several witnesses that-"

Alex interrupted by waving his hand and he said "What breaking the peace? All I saw was her telling off some bullies."

Out the corner of my eyes I saw Jon and Walker look at each other with a glare as Alex continued speaking "The only break of peace was a woman coming onto me too much and pulling my ear along with other people who insisted on yelling at me. Some nonsense about Anastia being not what she is."

He looked at them with a stare which reminded me of myself challenging bullies when I was younger.

Alex turned and looked at me then he ordered "Anastia, I'll escort you home."

He pointed a finger at Jon and Walker as if challenging them to contradict his order. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Jon stomp towards a desk in the room and pick up the phone as Alex took my arm and led me out of the police station. Outside there was a crowd who went silent. I saw Alex on the steps yell something to the crowd. I have to admit I have a hard time understanding people when they yell. I checked the reactions to the crowd who stood staring at Alex yell something.

Then the crowd waved one of their hands in a throwing ball motion and I lip read people saying "Bah."

I looked behind me to see Walker came out and he yelled something.

The crowd went silent and stopped waving their arms and saying "Bah".

At that moment Alex took my arm and led me through the angry crowd. They separated and he walked me all the way through the Main Street towards Charlotte's Boarding House on Wetmore Avenue. I looked behind me to see the crowd disappear as Alex led me to the house. Mrs. Groundwater came out with a look of surprise on her face when she saw Alex.

I lip read her speaking to Alex "What are you doing here, Alex?"

I saw Alex say "Ask Chief White Feather. He ordered me here to keep the peace."

Mrs. Groundwater stared with a frown and spoke words to my confusion "She's implanted if you know what I mean."

I frowned as Alex nodded to Mrs. Groundwater then he led me inside, up the stairs and towards my studio apartment. Write more lately.

Love,

Anastia

5/13/98

Dear Elizabeth, and Zoya,

I had one of the most magical and weirdest nights of my life. I think Kyle would be upset with anger about that because I remembered what happened years ago when I was a younger. The magical night helped me break the dam in my head blocking my memories I didn't know I had to be crystal clear. Alex led me to my room and closed the door behind him.

He pointed to his lips and asked me with me lip reading "Have you kissed any one on the lips before?"

I confessed to him that I hadn't but I didn't tell him about the time in the Zeskaya Facility. He took my chin in his hands and slowly lowered his face towards mine. I felt some sort of internal shocks as his lips touched mine. Next thing I knew I was clawing at his clothes and he was pawing me in an attempt to take our clothes off. I felt some feeling down there below my waist that I wanted something inside me. After we stripped yanking off our clothes revealing our nakedness, Alex laid me on the bed and brought my hand to his phallus to feel. I was yanking on it rubbing up and down which make him put himself on top of me as I guided his phallus with his help of his hand inside me. I felt like multiple explosions were erupting in my head and I was feeling really out of it as he thrust inside me. I also wrapped my legs around his legs on the back area as I felt him put a hand on my chest, rubbing and squeezing. I also felt something like some dam in my head burst while feeling some memories came.

The memories made me want to scream but Alex put a hand on my mouth and I saw his eyes change from blue to golden eyed color and he lowered his head to my neck to bite and lick suckling. Alex used his other hand to grip me closer to him as he thrust.

One memory I clearly remember showed a male which I recognized to be Vladimir Drakulscu taking me to a cabin as a young girl, I'm uncertain of the age. I remember him sitting in a wooden chair with a knife in his hand which he used to cut his right wrist. Then he grabbed me and thrust my face towards the bleeding cut smearing the blood on my face. In the memory I felt like I had no choice but to lick the blood off my face. The blood felt good to my taste and I wound up licking the blood off Vladimir's wrist sucking while he stared at me with a glazed yellow eyed glare.

Then the second memory changed that shows me sitting in an all white room which appeared to be a bedroom while much older. I was loading a gun with bullets crying with tears. Next to me in the memory was a faded crinkled book, which I recognized to be the Book of Hayu. I saw on the page was a picture of a younger me aiming a gun at a man which I recognized to be Vladimir. I figured out why Kyle didn't like the book.

The book had words written in it which I recognized the language saying "She will shoot the father of her children making him change to an animal state, trapping him."

Then the door to the room in the memory opened and Vladimir came in with a yellow eyed glare. He said some words to me as I raised the gun and shot him full in the chest. He wound up lying there flopping like a fish as Jon with other cops like him came in the room. I saw Jon look at me with a yellow eyed glare and then he put his gun on the back of Vladimir's head and shoots some dart execution style. Vladimir stops flopping and lays still. I watched with fascination as Vladimir's form changed to be of an animal who I recognized to be Kyle. I passed out during this.

Then I woke up and found myself lying naked in the bed of my room and Alex was no where to be seen and it was the thirteenth of May according to my clock that tells the date and time. My clothes I was wearing today were folded on the chair like the way I left them. I also felt a little sore down there like I had sex which I did. I wound up lying in bed the whole day feeling a little out of it like I was sick with a headache. I felt like I couldn't get up at all. The most I could do was drag myself to my small refrigerator and grab some foods to eat and then I went back to bed to write this letter to the both of you.

Love,

Anastia

5/16/98

Dear Liz and Zoya,

I wound up sick in bed with a bad throwing up feeling. I kept hitting the bathroom to throw up repeatedly. Eating food didn't help for the food would come back up. Also I kept passing out unconscious. I would be standing doing something then black out and suddenly find myself on the floor waking up with some bruises from hitting it. Ugh I felt a gagging sensation inside my throat went to the toilet and threw up the thing that looked like an electronic slug into the toilet. I was too disgusted to examine it that I flushed it away. After feeling sick for three days I felt better and decided to go to the police station to visit Alex. I walked out to spot Walker and Mrs. Groundwater's twin in some lip lock in the parlor room which I slipped out unnoticed. I walked to the police station ignored by the town's people who is still treating me like I don't exist. I went inside the police station and saw Alex there at the desk that acted confused to see me and appeared to don't know me at all when I tried to talk to him. I saw Groundwater standing in a doorway with a smirk on his face that told me he had something to do with Alex's behavior towards me. I could see that Alex had some glaring look in his eyes despite having a confused look on his face. I left the police station to wander around the town till I felt sick again walked to the boarding house and went inside tiptoeing past the parlor seeing Walker and Mrs. Groundwater's twin were still in a lip lock. I rushed to my room and went into the bathroom to hit the toilet where I threw up repeatedly. I felt like I was going to be sick again. I also went to the bed to sit after throwing up and decided to write this letter to you. I don't feel good at the moment. I feel like I have the flu hitting me hence me throwing up repeatedly. I don't know if it's actually the flu due to me having fainting spells that knock me out unconscious. I think I'm going to lie down for awhile and shut my eyes till I stop feeling sick. Oh drat I left the door to my apartment open and I better get up and close it. Just hope I won't faint on the way. Wish me luck cousins.

Love,

Anastia

5/17/98

Dear Liz and Zoya,

Ugh you won't believe what happened to me. I said in my previous entry that I was getting up to go to the door and shut it. I had a case of faints on the way which I fainted hitting the floor and woke up lying in a hospital room with my Dad holding my hand while sitting next to my bed. I discovered that my clothes were replaced with a hospital gown and there was a needle in my right arm attached to tubes going to a clear bag of watery like liquid that was slowly draining its contents into me.

I felt confused seeing Dad spoke "What's going on? What am I doing here?"

I saw Dad frown looking upset before he spoke "Anastia, you're expecting a baby and your body is reacting to it by making you sick which normal for a woman is carrying for the first time."

It took me a few moments to process what Dad just told me that I'm pregnant with a baby. I felt different ranges of emotions hitting me at once that I couldn't describe them at all. I tried to ask Dad what caused me to carry but just as I opened my mouth Dad put a finger to his lips.

I frowned as he mouthed with me lip reading "People are eavesdropping on the conversation. The father hasn't been determined to cause your pregnancy status but there are suspicions on who it is but it has to be proven."

I wound up to passes out to astral project seeing me lying in bed wearing an oxygen mask on my mouth and nose areas. I frowned finding I can't get any farther from arm length to my body. I finds this astral seems lengthy which I sees my abdomen become swollen with child. I'm not sure what happened next but I wound up to finds myself back into my body feeling groggy along with urges to push the baby out. I obeyed to the feeling and found the urges stop which I passed out.

Love

Anastia

Chapter Four-Diary Entries

"Quit the letters joke Anastia!" as found written in my journal to my disgust.

I wound up quitting the dates because I don't remember or know what date it is in the calendar. I'm all over the place anyway. I wound up recalling myself various memories coming to my mind.

One memory after I woke up from the baby's birth is I wound up coming to finding Kyle seated on me in our familiar room.

Kyle says to me mentally "You reeks of another male from the smell." and hears him use an accusation tone.

I don't deny it but says "I admit that someone told the male in my presence that I was implanted while indicating to me that it seemed to be involved some kind of control to prevent me from getting pregnant. I wound up pregnant as a result and had the baby recently but don't know what gender it is."

I found that Kyle seems jealous from his behavior while hanging around me and seems to throw hissy fits of "I don't want to hear this talk."

Mostly whenever I bring up the subject of mating with another male or the offspring I had fathered by that male. I refrained from mentioning the subject passes out unconscious.

I wound up coming to finding myself in some tube cylinder while floating inside it. I kept on feeling confused to why I'm in the tube but passes out. I keep finding myself in the tube repeatedly till it cracks apart and I fall out while feeling heaviness keeping me to the floor along with thin oxygen. I wound up forces myself to breathe shallow till a guy with Broderick's clothes on and not Broderick himself with guards arrive into the room grabbing me from the floor.

The guy spoke I forced to lip read him "I introduce myself as Alexei Zesky head of the Zesky Asylum Hospital a cruise ship your on that is traveling over water. We're trying to find a port to get supplies along with civilization as well."

I found nothing coming in mind involving Alexei Zesky despite thinking "The memory was mind wiped from my mind so I won't remember much involving him."

Humph I wound up remembering another memory I write it down. I remember I was arrested by the cops of a town appearing to be Asians when I knew they weren't Asians but something else humanoid like. I found those Asians appeared to be sinister when they took me from the town of Wolf's Howl via car to another a town in New York State. I wasn't sure who those Asians were other than they gave me the creeps and were transporting me out to another town to prison via car that was a black SUV that had no lights. I found the driver of the vehicle another Asian. The Asian pairs next to me refused to answer questions I had aimed at them.

Questions such as "Where are we going? Who are you police from anyway?"

They didn't answer my questions instead gave up glares and refused to talk to me. I heard nothing in my mind involving Kyle's talk or anything. I saw the car stop by a large retail and grocery store with police cars there. People are running around freaking out while leaving the store. I eyed one of the Asians who in response took the cuffs off my wrists and got me out of the car.

I wound up hearing a voice in my head says "The Drainers as they call themselves are attacking people while being in the store and needing milk to heal. So go inside and give them that milk now."

I felt confusion hearing the voice sounded alien and monotone to realize with a start that the voice came from the sinister Asians I realized weren't Asians but some form of them involving mind walking telepathy.

I wound up hearing "I order you to go into the store and give the Drainers milk in a firm voice tone."

I felt a compulsion hitting me at the time obeyed to that voice's order to darts through the melee into the store. I wound up senses that my escape by the cops is noticed by some people eyeing me going pass them. I saw some of those cops were looking at me with ranges of emotions on their faces and appeared to be shocked or something when I went inside the store. I found the store was a grocery store of a major chain from the looks of it. I found some people lying on the ground looking like their skin was a pale blue and examined a Human to find the male was dead with bite wounds around his neck. I wound up figuring what the Drainers are drinkers of blood some vampire. I didn't feel happy being sickened onto the Drainers to do this job for the cops who couldn't get themselves inside the store. I wound up feeling annoyed but angry till I got images fully into my mind via mind's control of a headache. I saw in my mind my four children in tubes full grown as green skinned reptile humans with fanged teeth in human like bodies.

I heard a voice say "The Drainers are your offsprings who are attacking the First Ones."

I didn't know what 'First Ones' meant but heard that voice sounded twin to one of those Asians but more alien like sounding odd and monotone. I found myself annoyed with the voice's comment and the images of my children in my mind to stand up pacing back and forth. I found images filling my mind of Aiden, and his brothers and sisters freed from the tubes and appearing via memories in my mind feeding off nearby Humans into some sucker vampire move like instinct. I kept on getting those memories showing the green skinned children after enough sucking form some ropes over their bodies after hitting the floor followed by some leafy sac forming over them. I wound up getting another memory of Dan I call him freed from the tube but ignored by his brothers and sisters involving feeding and just lying down on the floor curled into a ball asleep. I wound up seeing fully into my mind of Aiden and his brother and his sisters Ann-Nea and Tia break out of the leafy sacs and appeared to have some kind of skin suit of black and white over their forms. I saw Aiden and Torrin had black masks covering their eyes showing just white orbs while having their mouths bare to show fanged vampire teeth. I also saw via my mind of Ann-Nea and Tia having masks covering their mouths but their eyes' areas were all white colored and appeared to be able to see. I paced back and forth in response to that image filling into my mind till I felt a compulsion to walk further into the store. I obeyed despite disgusted to do it. I found various victims of vampire sucking on the way to the dairy section while grabbing a carriage. I grabbed multiple cartons of milk by cart as many I could fill into the cart. I wound up searching for the children to find the Drainers in the produce section that act rude towards me. Mostly rude enough to charge at me while feet wiping from Torrin himself seeing me. Aiden is seen yanking off his triangle hair showing black hair in a pulled back style while Ann-Nea is there looking angry by her arms' folded Human style with hands fisted.

I saw Tia was no where to be seen and realized "She stayed with Dan."

I found the Drainers appear to listen to me when I used my voice "I demand to you to back off!"

The Drainers appeared to listen to me as in becoming still as statues and quiet but stare at me with hostility sensed from them. I give the Drainers the milk cartons picking a milk carton from the cart and thrusting one each onto each Drainer who clutch with confusion sensed from them.

"This is milk. It's what I believe you're looking for and you should drink it."  
They drink obeying to my order and act like their feeling better from the gulping to drink an entire cart of milk cartons from there instead of sucking onto me. The Drainers, I discovered follows me out of the store and gets tossed into a globe surrounding a Drainer named Torrin. I find others going inside and saw the globe take off in the air from the scenery outside and find its going in a direction.

I frowned wondering "Where the Drainers' are going?"

Till they arrive at a town I recognizes as my home back to Wolf's Howl. Wolf's Howl is where the three Drainers hang out feeding off the towns people except me who they respect. They appeared to have gotten language uses by getting the town's natives to back off on targeting me with jokes.

Mostly by getting into the natives' face speaking to the town's people "She helped us with a problem! We're returning the favor!"

That's all they say to the town's people involving telling them off on having them play jokes onto me.

Ugh I don't remember much else involving this time period of peace from the town's people with the Drainers getting them to back off on their jokes. I found that the cops managed to rope me into service as a police officer to enforce town laws onto the Drainers which I do without protest. I found the Drainers wound up accepting me as their enforcer despite they sleeping in the basement of the police station and feeding off prisoners I direct them to do that feeding.

I wound up meeting Alex's offspring a Drainer named Jimo who came into the station one day and signed to me "Hi mom I'm called Jimo."

I was shocked to get that from Jimo to stare at him with shock.

He signed to me "Where's my dad Alex Jordan?"

I wound up yelling loudly "Jordan! There's a visitor here to see you!"

Alex arrived and appeared to be shocked to seeing Jimo and learning the Drainer was his son. He and Jimo wound up doing that Human hand shaking gesture but I suspect that the Drainer crunched his hand by his grimace and shaking his hand after that was done.

I wound up told by Alex "Show Jimo where the others are sleeping now."

I obeyed to show the basement's door and spoke to Jimo "The others specified that I and other Humans stay out unless we're to be used as food if you know my meaning." '

I saw Jimo nod his head in a head shake Human gesture then I gestured to the door and spoke "Good luck."

After that I walked up the stairs in response leaving Jimo to fend for himself against his own brothers and sister. I didn't see what reaction the others did meeting Jimo but I went to the lobby to sit and resumed reading my book. I've been lobby sitting there waiting for complaints of natives of the town whining of the Drainers causing trouble to discipline them with firm tone of voice.

That's about it involving my life at the moment from what I could remember. I'm reaching the last page of this journal so I might as well end it and go write into something else instead.

End Anastia
