I have always been competitive with myself
It's something very personal
started climbing when I was a child
My parents would always let me climb trees
I remember when I was eight years old we were in Chamonix on vacations
and that's when I really started to climb on real rock
I climbed all around the world because
discovering new places and environments always fascinated me
Climbing for me is more than just touching the rock or doing something physical such as sports
It is the whole environment that goes it accompanies :
it's the nature, the landscapes.
In all the expeditions I have done
I really enjoyed the experiences of nature, its encounters
and that the rocks differ from one place to another
I have always climbed solo. When I was a kid I already enjoyed long easy solo itineraries in the mountains
I have never asked myself if I was in a dangerous or risky situation
I never questioned myslef : "what I am doing here ? " or do: "I feel pumped ?"
It's this fluidity in my climbing that enables me to have faith while I am free soloing big walls
The first time I saw my uncle doing a free solo I was shocked
I instantly thought of my aunt and wondered if she knew and was not too worried about it since it's so dangerous.
I will never be able to free solo the way I've seen Thomas do it
It's something beyond me
I am quite impressed by this ability to face fears and take risks
I am not sure to be able to overcome this fear
The first time I did a free solo,  it was on a sport route of a cliff with my kids
My daughter who is four is already climbing quite well
and my son is eight
He climbs a lot
When we get to the cliffs
I need to setup the rope to belay the kids so I climb solo to do that
It's easy climbing: 5.7, 5.8, nothing too crazy
It's become a routine
One day I went to the cliff and forgot my harness
As the house was far away I did not want to go back and not climb so I told myself it doesn't matter
I will free solo the easy route that I know
Then I figured, why not try a bit harder ?
Why not 5.9? why not 5.10?
I had never fallen in those routes, so why would I ? Let's take the chance.
And then, just like that, I was able to push solos on big walls
I tried routes such as the tower of Gemeaux for example on the Mount Aiguille
and long routes in the Verdon enabling me to repeat Edlinguer's solos
I'm rarely able to solo above a 5.12
I prefer safe cracks in Chamonix
or the finger pockets in the Verdon because I'm sure the rock is really compact and solid
Of course, I ask myself questions sometimes
Especially when I step into the void and leave my comfort zone
Many times in my life I've been afraid
I admit that
The last time I was scared and I wondered what I was doing
it was on a climbing trip to Adrspach in Czech Republic
I saw a chapel with a commemorative plaques of dead climbers
It made me wonder if what I am doing the right thing
Soloing for me is not something that scares me
It's like base jumping
I can solo highlines, paraglide, and many other activities that are dangerous
I do not have a feeling of fear
I have no adrenaline rush
This feeling of adrenaline is when you start a sport
Once you've done hundreds of skydives, only then is your fear of jumping gone
When I walk on a highline I am no longer afraid
and it's the same for when I climb free solo. I do not feel tantalized nor feel blocked
If I know I can technically do a route
and there are no hazardous or random moves
then for me it's just a mental barrier
I can overcome it
especially if I know that I have trained well physically
With my endurance and technique I can combine my physical strength with my mental strength and accomplish solos
As for the routes I already onsighted
if I did not fall and I did it again with no falls
the only question I ask myself in a big wall solo climb is:
are there two or three pitches hanging belay stations with no rest?
So there will be 3 lengths of hard 5.10C without pause
This drives me to train myself hard in the gym
'll start my stopwatch and in an hour I'll try to do all the routes in the gym
I'll get to climb 45 routes in an hour by going from 5.7 to 5.12 without any real pause
So I can see if I can do 450m of wall in one hour without any break
Few people accept these dangerous activities that I do
It's scary
it's hard, it's dangerous
My parents do not accept it at all
My father often gives me the moral lesson:
it's not serious to climb solo, you have children
Can we really climb free solos when we have two children
is it truly irresponsible ?
