Why has the world become
so fascinated with Ayahuasca
Very good question
My name is Howard Lawler 
I grew up in the rural areas of Kentucky
in North America
My interest in Shamanism began
very early in my life as a child 
My grandmother was a renowned healer
and was know in those parts as a Kentucky Root Doctor
of course when I was a child I had no 
knowledge of shamanism per se
but my grandmother would tell me
stories of how she learned about
medicinal plants from her grandmother
who was a full blood Cherokee Shawnee Native American
So that inspired a keen interest in Native American culture
The first sacred plant I came in contact with was Peyote
in the Native American church tradition
That's where I began my practice
and my relationship with the sacred plants
In the early ninties I had the opportunity to come to Peru
and that opened the door to
engage another modality of core Shamanism
which is the Amazonian practices involving Ayahuasca
My first mission in my connection with Ayahausca
was actually for my own personal healing
of acute cronic depression which I had
fallen into a few years prior to that period of time
which produced amazing results essentially healing
my depression in the course of just a few ceremonies
and through that I saw
the huge potential of this to help a lot of people
So in 1995
I established the
Ayahuasca Spiritquest Healing and Higher Consciousness
program here in the Amazon
It was at that time one of only 3 organized
opportunities for that type of connection available here
The topic of Ayahuasca has unfolded dramatically
exponentially indeed in the past 5 to 10 years
Prior to that there was a very small
base of interest in esoteric circle but
generally it was unknown to the Western World
Ayahuasca is a traditional plant medicine
originating in the Amazon
It is a holistic medicine
that has many healing applications
dealing with psychological, psychical, emotional
and spiritual illnesses and conditions
Ayahuasca certainly has healing properties
that directly effect
a rather wide range of conditions
that are not effectively treated my Western medicine
Ayahuasca is perhaps the most effective treatment for depression
because it addresses that condition on both a 
biochemical, physiological and psychological level
and in many cases people
having suffered depression for long periods of time
after working with Ayahuasca find that
they do not go back to those feelings
and they experience a permanent relief
Same is true for anxiety issues
phobias of various types
irrational fears of things
stress and trauma disorders
post traumatic stress disorder and things of this nature
There are
many, many accounts of remissions
of various types of cancer
following work with Ayahuasca
usually in a more extensive manor
Probably the most profound
improvements in physical conditions that 
that we've seen in our work
are with people with
Parkinsons Disease and Multiple Sclerosis
neurophysiological in general
seem to be improved rather quickly
at least symptomatically
through even short term medication with Ayahuasca
What brought me here to Peru for Ayahuasca was
was really just a short experience I had
back in the States about a year and a half ago
with DMT
It was a very opening experience and
it made me realise that 
the things that I struggle with aren't who I am
and that they can be washed away
with a little bit of work and
I had a ferocious appetite of learning more
about Ayahuasca and what it was after that
I've been dealing with depression for most of my life
ever since I was about 12 years old
and
I don't know, nothings worked
I mean I've dealt with so many things
and tried so many meds and
different kinds of therapy and
you know, and still very unhappy
Ayahuasca seems to have a good track record
at helping people deal with things like depression and
post traumatic stress disorder
things I've had to deal with so
it seems like it was worth giving a try
I first heard about Ayahuasca from my best friend
who got a fair bit into spirituality
discovering more about himself
and in turn I was
trying to discover a bit more about myself
when he showed me a documentary on Ayahuasca
I was very intrigued about
how it helped so many people
with so many issues
and
it led me here
most people
have a tendancy to think of 
pleasant experiences and good experiences
and difficult, challenging or hard experiences
as bad experiences
when working Ayahausca
those criteria are not really
not really legitimate simply because
the very nature of Ayahuasca is to bring up
things that people would otherwise tend to avoid dealing with
and this is one of the greatest attributes of Ayahausca
from a standpoint of personal
auto-psychoanalysis as it were
enabling those issues to come up
come to the surface
so that they can be confronted, addressed
and hopefully resolved in the conscious mind
or at least that process initiated 
Very often these processes of confrontation
are very unpleasant
very difficult, very challenging
In reality those experiences tend to be the most
benificial in the long run
providing the person is able to
allow the process to run its course
to allow those things to come up
to engage in the hard work of processing
those revelations or those confrontations
Ayahausca is an opener
Ayahuasca is a potentiator
It brings things to the surface
that are often otherwise
deeply submerged in the subconcious
Its hard, hard work
People don't come out here to do this for fun
Its been pretty grueling with some experiences
you really get your butt kicked
and you learn really quickly to fight
you know, to resist 
to overanalyse, to overthink
really does a disservice to you
In my experience the more you can
live in your heart
and live through your soul
live through your nature
that's when you really start
figure out what life is about
This will actually be my second time doing Ayahausca
This experience this year has been
so much more rewarding
and so much deeper, for me
It's been a gift, really
to come a long way and really know
to let go and follow your heart
Its sounds so cliché but its so true
A lot of the ceremonies even at their hardest
were just terrific
becuse either you fly
and 
you have just a very good experience
that makes you feel good
Perhaps you might have visions
A lot of times it can be very difficult
but even the hard ceremonies
where you're suffering a lot of it
when you become aware enough
you realize the beauty in your plight
and the beauty in the plight of all of us and
that's not to say that we can't improve
and make each others lives better
No, I'm not saying that or suggesting that
I'm just saying there's so much opportunity for growth
and
every hardship, every trouble that we have
is really just a blessing in disguise
and that's just the other dimension
to life
and
I would not had that 
had I not been to Peru
the first time and this time
so its just been
incredible
Sometimes when you're in your rut
whatever it is
you think you're alone
you think you've got it the worst
you think no one will understand
and
in this process
in these ceremonies
and these talking circles afterwards
you reallize that
everybody is having a similar
fight at a fundamental level
and its just profound
When one comes to work with Ayahuasca
an appropriate amount of preparation
training and guidance is extremely
helpful, benificial, indeed for most people essential
in order to
be prepared for some of the
surprises Ayahuasca often brings
to help people diminish expectations
that are unwarranted
there's a tendancy often for people to
expect or desire Ayahuasca to be what
they want it to be rather than
being capable of surrendering to it
and allowing it to work as it naturally does
The perparation must focus
perhaps first and formost on intention
that is to say the reason a person
wants to undertake the process 
Its important to understand that work with Ayahausca
is a process and not a singular event
All of the benifits of Ayahuasca cannot be realized
in a single session or
in many cases even a single cycle of work
I am actually hopeful that
when I get back I'll be able to do
what needs to be done
to get to the next step, to be happy again
She
she made it very clear
she's like, I can't take you there
but I can show you the way
and she did a very good job at that the other night
and nice thing is she gave me
several hours of what the finish line is
So I know what I'm aiming for
I know why it's worth it
She just showed me infinitly love
and
that's the word that just came up over and over again
in the experience of it
I mean its beyond words obviously
but just this space of infinite love
and
anything else is crap
Everything else is just a distraction from that
infinite space
that we all live in
that we just forgot about
and any time I started to lose it a little bit
she'd take me right back to it just to
hammer it home
this is what you're going for, this is what it's all about
I mean I would never say that this work is for everyone
It's not easy, it's not a fun experience
and you definitely have to be prepared for it
Like it took me 10 years to get to the piont
where I felt comfortable with trying it
because it can be terrifying
it can be infinitely frustrating
The first few attempts were every frustrating for me
but I just kept with it and
there was always an insight you would get
and for me it was in the sharing circle the next day
when I'd listen to other people talk
and it wouldn't necessarily their experiences
but something about being in that shared space
I would start to process what I learned from the night before
even if it felt like nothing at the time
I would be able to go into the next ceremony
with a new perspective and
the next ceremony I'd get something more
and I'd use that and then
Boom
the one night just out of no where
it was all there
As far as people who would think it's hippy dippy
all roads lead to Rome so to speak, so
as long as people are ready
they'll find their way
In ones work with Ayahuasca
there are 2 principle phases of the work
3 if you consider the preliminary preparation
The second phase of course is the intensive phase
The intensive phase is the 
the cermonial experience
the experience one has when one partakes of Ayahuasca
So the third phase of ones relationship with Ayahuasca
is actually the most important phase of the 3
and that's the phase we call integration
and integration is the processing and the realization
of what one has recieved in the intensive phase
and integration is an open ended process
often the benifits are not immediately evident
and in many cases it will initiate a healing process
that will unfold step by step
and will eventuall lead one to resolution
of those physical or psychological conditions
or awaken one certain realities that perhaps
they have not been aware of up to that point
Pretty much all my life as long
as I can pretty much consciously remember
I've dealt with anxiety
high, high anxiety
and
in a way it's forced me to become someone who I'm not
its forced me to become emotionless I guess you could say
I bottle up a lot of things because
it was just too hard to face
I wouldn't go to parties and stuff like that
It really led me to
to discovering more about myself
I had always found excuses like work
I used marijuana as a cruch
and even in relationships
I would use that as another excuse
I was using their happiness to really fuel mine
and I wasn't been true to myself
I wasn't been true to them
It's incredible what 10 days has done to that
I mean an entire lifetime of dealing with it
and
you know the talking circles that we've had here 
have been a major part in that
not just the Ayahuasca, not just the medicine
This whole place has had an effect on me
that I would never have imagined
For me personally
I mean it's helped me see my family and friends
more so some family members
who I've had a tough time appreciating
It's really shone a light on that
In one of my ceremonies I saw each member of my family
all their faces, they came to me in a vision
and it was just like
I love you so much
I have so much appreciation for everything you've done for me
and
I would never have felt that before
I know I've got a lot more healing to do
I know I need to open my heart a lot more
and I'm not there yet but I have been shown the way and
I'm looking forward to more progress
I'll let all this sink in and
when I go back home I'm going to give all my family
the biggest hug
There's a serious question about
the future of Ayahausca availablility
as consumption of Ayahausca increases here
in the Peruvian Amazon
its also exanding exponentially all over the world
and many many many tons of Ayahuasca 
are exported every year from Peru
from other South American countries
source countries
There are a number of organizations and individuals
who are actively involved in the
cultivation and propagation of Ayahuasca and
Ayahausca companion plants such as Chacruna
Yagé
to try to offset this growing demand in consumption
This is extremely good
It must be encouraged
Certainly anyone using Ayahausca on a regular basis
should be doing something to propagate
or sustain their own consumptive needs 
or use of the plants
A common reference in the context of work with Ayahuasca
is the purge
The purge simply represents a cleasning
or a purification process
Purging can involve virtually any kind of
clearing of elimination process that's
either physical, emotional or energetic in nature
The physcial aspects of purging with Ayahuasca
usually involve vomitting, throwing up
but many people
in the course of an Ayahuasca ceremony
engaging in a purging process
experience that an elimination of negativity
toxicity and harmful energy that is lodged in their being
and so they have a feeling that all of that is coming up
and coming out in the course of that physical purging
Purging may occur as crying
or some other emotional release
sometimes it involves defication
The purification process is
really the essential first step in forming ones
deeper connection with Ayahausca
A person may come to Ayahuasca in a relatively impure state
and have an exciting, entertaining or even highly visual experience
that they might find
personally gratifying or rewarding in the short term
but the deeper long term benifits 
require that purification process and deeper connection that
penetrates to the very core of ones soul if you will
and if that penetration occurs sucessfully
there is usually a transformation involved which
changes the goal or motive of the person for their lives
It creates a more profound, more thoughtful
objective for their life
The Amazonian Curanderos with whom I work are
Don Rober Acho Jarama
Doña Eliana is his wife
Don Carlos is his son
Don Carlos is the third generation
curandero in his family lineage
I've worked with Don Rober for almost 13 years now
and Don Robers experience is very rich
He began his work with Ayahausca when he was 11 years old
He was trained by his uncle and his grandfather
and he began to conduct ceremonies on his own
when he was 18 years old after
an apprenticeship of 7 years
which is about average for most curanderos who come up
within the culture and undergo a shamanic apprenticeship
at some piont in their lives, not all start that early
some a little later
but the amount of time required to attain competence
skill and sufficient knowledge to administer Ayahuasca is
6 to 8 years of training
The reference to shamanism is a
relatively newly introduced term that
20 to 30 years ago was rarely heard here in the Amazon
that's been largely imported by western influences
People here now recognise what they do is a form of shamanism
but in their own minds they generally think of it in other terms
In the end of the year 2010
I like to do yoga teacher training
On the day when I was to transfer the money
to the yoga training
I went on the internet
and I found a picture of a Jaguar behind a leaf
and I clicked on that picture
and then I came to the website of Howard
and 4 weeks later I was here
What brought me to Ayahuasca was to
break the cycle of insanity
donig the same thing and expecting different results
Working through past traumas, I needed a way to release
to cleanse myself, cleanse my soul
and it suffered with my relationship at the time
and with connection with people
so that's why I needed to change
What brought me to Ayahausca
really I can't pin point it directly
I was doing writing in my spare time
A lot of things I wrote about led to consciousness
and shamanism and I decided to explore these things in research
and at the time I was going through a marriage breakup
so I had a lot of time to myself to look inward
and I didn't want to be that person that I was
So that led me down the rabbit hole of finding out more
There are really 2 kinds of people interested in Ayahausca
in the broad category
The primary category would be genuine seekers
The other broad category is more centred in curiosity or thrill-seeking
Increasingly I see more people coming to Iquitos without
real intentions for their connection with Ayahausca
What this has caused is a change in attitudes
not only among with western people
but also in the local culture as well
15 years ago the few people that came here
interested in Ayahuasca tended to fit the former category of
seeker, of healing or spiritual realization
Now people here in the Amazon
are increasingly aware that many people come
for other reasons as well
and this has changed their attitude and perspective
on the nature of the western mentality
I think they probably respect a little less in general
but they also see opportunities for themselves
economically and otherwise so there's a very mix response
Well of course Ayahuasca is endemic to the Amazonian
region of South America
It has a very deep cultural history
going back most likely thousands of years
Western influence has a very poor track record
in its discovery of indigenous practices
particularly shamanic practices
and the subsequent appropriation
of the knowledge and the resources
The important thing for people to bring to this work
if one comes to the Amazon to engage the medicine
and to engage the traditional practices surrounding it
is to bring sensitivity
to bring respect
to understand that one is not coming into this culture
from a position or stance of superiority
to understand that people of western birth and heritage
have as much to gain, as much to learn from people
and culture and practices in this culture
as this culture has to learn from them
to understand that there is a reciprocity
for everything that is recieved something should be given
to realize that they are bring potential benifits
but they are also bringing potentially harmful influences as well
to be aware of that, to be sensitive to that
and to try to help preserve the 
foundations of this culture and these cultural practices
as purely as possible for as long as possible
recognising that all forms of trans cultural contact
inevitably produce change
When I was here for my first time
I had no idea what's coming up
I had no expectations
I
I only knew that Ayahuasca is a great healer
and a great medicine
My first was very special, I will never forget that day 
the medicine put me on an inner journey
and she showed me the things inside
they are not clean
they were like rooms
and I opened the rooms and I saw a lot of trash in the rooms
and over the years we cleaned all the rooms up
It's now my 7th time here
I drank Ayahuasca nearly 60 times
When you take the medicine it's very important
to have the right set and the right setting
Medicines usually act local
and the medicine here is a local medicine
from the Amazon
From my own experience
it is very very important to have the jungle
to have the environment of the plants around
Ayahuasca to be in the jungle and not in a city
or in a country where there is no rainforest
You can do that, it work but it's not an optiimum
Howard and Don Rober offer us the opportunity
to get real traditional healing
to learn real traditional medicine
becuase like I experienced
you can see where the plant is from
who cut the plant, who grows the plant
who cooked the plant, how it is cooked
the whole process
it's very transparent
For me it's better to come here
to support people like we do when we are here
we watch different tribes and we support them
We create connections through heart
to the people here
and they see, oh cool open hearted people
also in the western world
for me it's better than to bring the medicine to Europe
For me the biggest that happened is an inner transformation
it's about how do we deal with life
how does life affect us
different situations
I learned to stay in the middle
to take positions like an observer
stay calm and discover inner peace
In the first ceremonies I had a lot of healing
about my past, my mistakes, about forgiveness
about self love, how to love each other
and after that there comes the learning
It's about listening
listening to the medicine, listening to yourself
it's all inside us
the medicine helps to reveal that
to open yourself up because your teacher is inside of you
These lessons I can learn every day at home
and I can integrate that
and when I integrate these lessons I will come back
but not before
Work with the sacred plants often
brings people to a point of
of questioning virtually everything that they assume
to be absolute or true up to that point
There's an opening to the possibility in their lives
that they had not considered before
You know this is a path for the true truth seeker
revealing, helping us to understand where we've been
where we're coming from in our lives and in our
deeper spiritual journey, where we are now in the present
and perhaps by understanding those 2 points
having a sense of our destiny and where we go from here
The medicine is good
because sometimes you get lessons in way you never expect
sometimes it seems too tough and too strong
but I know the medicine only gives you what you can handle
no more no less
and if you think you can't handle it
it's the ego talking
that wants to protect you
and and not allow the medicine to work
Last year was my time, I came last January
and my intention for coming was to 
open my heart and connect with my emotions again
She showed me herself in this Native American form
which was very very beautiful and powerful
It brought me to this door of light and there was this big warrior
half man, half beast just blocking the way
and I didn't know at the time whether it was
something I had to conquer in order to get through to the door
and then as the ceremonies past my intention stayed the same
so it was pretty much 5 nights of ceremonies
all based off of one long story
and it showed me a lot of love
a lot of passion, a lot of happiness
so at one point it brought me to this room
where I was able to start seeing
the intensity of my vision that were being shed and my emotions
so
it would be like this silhouette
and around it is this black dark smoke
just swirling around it
and the emotion attached to it
you could see was just stored up trauma
and it would pull away and kind of dissipate
and every time it would be almost a slight sense of relief
as it dissipated
That happened for a while and then it put me in this position
of seeing another silhouette and just raw decayed meat
just starts disintegrating off of it
but in this symbol it was more powerful because it was like
just this negative energy being stored in the body and how 
bad it is for you
we dove into empathy
I have always been mentally strong and been able to
conquer and do things that I choose to do
its a good attribute I have but on the same extent
it doesn't allow me to experience empathy towards other people
when it comes to the psychological effects from their minds
so anxiety, restless leg syndrome
I always thought were created by
the mind to deflect you from something
and when people would experience them
I would just be like, Oh, its just your mind
just tell it to go away and it will
you know, I'm able to do it but it doesn't mean everybody is
It wasn't until one ceremony where I felt
extreme, severe case of anxiety
restless leg syndrome and nausea
all at the same time for a long period of time
which pushed me to the point of giving in
and not overanalysing and using my mind the way that I always do
as soon as I gave in and gave up
to the medicine
to the lessons
to my own emotions
that's when I went even deeper into the medicine
and it tied back all the way to the first ceremony where
it showed me that that beast that was blocking the door
was then slayed
Perhaps the most prevailing myth about Ayahuasca
is simply that
the
all one needs to do to become a better person
is drink Ayahuasca
That is a rather gross oversimplification
which simply isn't true
it has been demonstrated time and again
in people who lack intention or desire to change themselves
or change something about their lives
who've taken Ayahausca and
gone back into their lives and continued to do and act
and live pretty much in the same way as they did before
and there's a corresponding assumption that
anyone who works with Ayahausca as a Curandero
or as a facilitator is automatically trustworthy and
competent simply because they work with Ayahuasca
Unfortunately neither of the assumptions are true
There are risks in working with the sacred plants
The primary risk is in the qualities and characteristics
the individual brings to the work itself
The other risk is in determaning the intentions
and authenticity and integrity of the person with 
whom one will do the work
in terms of how trustworthy they are
how much do they know
are they capable of dealing with situations that might be
potentially dangerous or risky to you
When one works with sacred plants one
intentionally and knowingly and willing becomes vunerable
to influences beyond their own
in fact Ayahuasca as other sacred plants
induces a light state of hypnosis
and so
when one takes Ayahuasca one is entering a state of
a lower threshold of suggestibility
and this lower threshold of suggestibility may be used to the
patients benifit by a Curandero
a person of
dubious intentions might use that same quaility of the plant to
take advantage of a person in some way
All of these things should be considered
and this is not to overemphasis the risks or dangers
but at the same time it's prudent not to ignore them either
The horror stories are the direct result of the
globalization and explosion of this whole process
and the expanded involvement of people
who are ill-prepared and unqualified to be doing it
All that said
if one undertakes this work
guided by someone of expereince
integrity, knowledge, skill 
and a geniune desire to be supportive and helpful
then such people are genuinely trustworthy and
are capable of guiding a person through this process
with great success
The new wave of dark and foreboding
tales of danger and so forth
while some of that is true
overwhelmingly it is an exaggeration
and doesn't characterize the situation as a whole
I think for me I've had some really good
experiences with the Ayahuasca
Any expectations I had
were pretty much blown out of the water
but some that I did have were
that I was going to go crazy or something
because you hear all these horror stories
of things going all wrong
so it was just all in all the whole process
of the way they do things
On the first night it was just like a
I don't know, a contents page or something like that
but without really showing me anything
it just made me feel comfortable
and
there's some sort of feminine aspect to it
but once you take, it was a whole different world
it just took me down into myself
into the dark places I have and
it was able to just sort of like shred things apart
and
made me take layers and layers and layers 
of armour off
stuff like I didn't want to be hurt
or
in a sense I had become a little bit stone cold
These are layers that I had stacked upon my heart
and the way that I present feelings in certain situations
it was able to show it to be with more clarity
so I could see it again
Over the last 10 days I think I've definitely
opened up something
and I think it's more my true feelings
and how I mask that a lot
For me it was like I was going through a process that
I had almost become a wolf in a way
and I was going through it in the first person
but I was also seeing it in
it was pictorial
from a third person point of view as well
and
it was like I was seeing it but like I had already seen it
and it was just replayed back to me in a weird sense
so I'd understand from all facets
I was able to not just see it from my side
but see it from maybe someone else's point of view
It leaves a fingerprint of that in your memory
and you can't really forget it
in fact it grows and you start to see all these
different things that help you understand
what you were let's say to what you could be
The 2 principle areas of positive benefit
one may realize through work with Ayahuasca
are in the area of holistic healing
and in the area of spiritual development and realization
often these 2 processes go hand in hand
and in the concept of holistic healing
obviously that involves healing in all aspects of ones being
and the spiritual realization dimension is
not fully realized by everyone  
who works with Ayahuasca
at least to the same degree
People often experience a spiritual epiphany of sorts
whether they were previously spiritually inclined or not
The common response is an awakening at some level
or one's spiritual consciousness
if nutured
the usualy result or common result is a positive transformation
which leads to better things in peoples lives
What led me to Ayahuasca about a year ago
was that I was sort of the guy
who had it all together on the surface
and it was slowly dawning on me
that I didn't have it all together
that I was numb and unhappy and
not on the right track for my life
so I came to Ayahuasca looking for solutions to those problems
My experience with Ayahuasca was that it was
it was like a defibrillator
it was like
came in and zapped me back to life
got my heart beating again
It was like I was taken in a jet aeroplane
straight past all the dancing mice
and firework shows that people talk about
to what I would call the great spirit
I think religions have called it God
but that's where it took me
very very quickly
no messing around
and I got to experience
what it was like to have that connnection
That was a connnection I couldn't have possibly imagined
and that's for me what this is all about
developing a connection between you
and something bigger than you
The whole idea is that there doesn't need to be a hierarchy
Shamanism in its best form just puts you and it right there
and in its best moments you merge completely
and then the dichotomy of you and it is gone
and there's just the one thing
that's something that you can only experience
there are no words
After having that experience I definitely struggled with
taking that and putting it back into my day to day life
and I'd say for me it took about a year
before I had integrated that
and I found that that was where the real work was
and also where the real benifits came
but that's an aspect that's sometimes overlooked
Integrating that experience required a shift in lifestyle
and a shift in the I was
the way I was in the world that required me to
to change me goals
change my work
change
change a lot
The other thing that Ayahuasca's being teaching
me this time around is about choice
and everything, everything is a choice
and we get to
every moment we get to choose between
really I look at it as the light side and the dark side
or however you want to conceptualize it but
we can make the world whatever we want it to be
with just our choice
and Ayahuasca has helped me see both sides
of this thing very clearly
and I feel like I'm in a much more centred position
to make the choices that are going to
lead us in the direction thats going to
be positive for myself and for everyone
My only advice would be Ayahuasca is not for everyone
and that if you have a calling to do it
then I suggest you pick up the phone
Many people are seeking alternatives to the western paradigm
I think one of the reasons for that is simply the fact that
the western world has been for some time
dissatisfied with its own status quo
and with the absence of a meaningful base
of reference other than rampant materialism
There's still a good many people whose
primary perception of Ayahuasca is as a new
and novel drug experience as opposed
to a holistic medicine
Helping people to form a healthy attitude
that is in line with the actual nature of the plant
the nature of the practice
and which recognises its positive benefits
I think is a very important thing
This is Huambisa
Huambisa
The most powerful of the companion plants
In many respects science is kind of catching up 
with traditional medicine in terms of providing the
proof if you will based on
scienctific method and evaluation
to the saticfaction of the western mind that
this plant and related plants associated with it do indeed have
remarkable healing properties that
have great potential in service to humanity and
in dealing with things that modern conventional
pharmaceutical medicine doesn't not address well if at all
A very important cultural aspect of work with Ayahuasca
is in bonding
This has been an integral role of Ayahuasca
in indigenous cultures for a long time
that is the effectiveness it has
in bringing people together and unifying people
and helping people find common cause and common ground
and reducing competitiveness increase cooperation
What we see in our work with Ayahuasca
with people coming together for the first time
within 48 hours 
no one feels like anyone else is a stanger anymore
going through the trails and tribulations and
stripping away the barriers to communication
When people leave here invariably
they leave as brothers and sisters
They leave with a sense of love and appreciation of each other
As I tell everyone from the get go
when you start here everyone is an apprentice
and everyone is a maestro
Everyone is a teacher and everyone has something to learn
from everyone else
And indeed that's the way it unfolds
So it's that dynamic exchange
in the spirit of giving, in the spirit of sharing
in the spirit of compassion and tolerance of our differences
All of this has a very benefitial positive influence
on virtually everyone who does this work
which ideally carries on over into
everyone's personal life when they go back home
Well you know I pretty much hit the ground running
when I came back home with life here
Like I had all these incredible experiences at Spiritquest
You know I was all the things that were holding me back
and some things I did see before
and I guess we continue to do that right
when we get home we start relfecting back
on our experiences and they keep on at least for me just
birthing new insights you know
each ceremony that I go back on
When I got home
you see deeper into the day to day stuff
that you usually just kind of took for granted
even just simple stuff like work or
maintaining friendships or acquaintances
it just really helped me take everything to another level
and I'm definitely happier
You know we all have our stuff, we all have our issues
it's part of being human
and we get reflections everyday in life
of the things that we stuggle with
so I still have all that stuff
but it doesn't penetrate as hard as it used to you know and
Ayahuasca and my time at Spiritquest
definitely contributed to that growth and
I'm super grateful I did that
Yeah when I got back there was a hangover for a while
you know the Ayahuasca hangoever where you're just
in love with everthing and
Ayahuasca was in my head for a long time just kind of like
I don't know I had this feeling that she had a 
ulterior motive
you know like she was trying to get me to
do things that weren't really me and it really
affected how I was when I got back and my relationships and
it made me much more clear with
what I was willing to put up with so
there was some friendships I just let slide
you know I just wasn't willing to put up with that anymore
I definitely still have a lot of work to do
my depression is still there
but it's definitely quieted down quite a bit
I have a different relationship with it now
it's much less antagonistic
and you know I'm a lot more accpeting of that
situation than I used to be
Life has took a very different direction than I expected
and I'm a very
different much more confident person now
but it hasn't been easy, it hasn't always been fun
but I see now, I feel like
the whole thing was leading to this point
to basically get back to some sort of ground zero
where I can relax for the first time in 20 years probably
which wouldn't have been possible had I not
you know, gone down to Peru
When I arrived back home I felt I was in a really good place
mentally and I think that made me realize that
all the problems and the challenges that I faced before
didn't bear as much weight as I had previously given them
Integrating my experience certainly wasn't easy
I went back to the same routine
and it wasn't long before I found myself slipping back
into old habits and unhealthy mindsets
So to try and eliminate that from happening
I had to change my lifestyle
I changed my diet, I started watching less TV
and just found things that were so much more fulfilling to me
Two and a half years on I still find myself sometimes
falling back into those old habits and mindsets
but I'm by far in a much better place than where I was
For me Ayahuasca has helped me gain
so much more self love
and more confidence within myself
It's just helped me in so many ways
So when I first got back from Peru
Life here was challenging in the aspects of
connections with my friends and people, life
wasn't as deep as it was down there
It was hard to find my place and it was a little challenging
just trying to figure out how to belong back into the past
before going to Peru
Since going down when I met everbody
in this documentary
I've been down 3 more times
and my growth has been amazing
Life has been very happy
my perceptions have shifted tremendously
and
Ayahuasca has helped me to let go of emotions that
caused me to be depressed
the reason I went down there
Things unfolded for me in a way that I didn't really know
You know some of the lesson I'm stlil learning
from my first Ayahuasca journey
Every time I'm learning more and it's still integrating now
The way that I think, the way that I am
how I hold myself
Plant medicine
it's challenging but it's also an absolute blessing
Looking back on my Ayahuasca work now
I would say I was quite naive about the integration process
You know I hoped that
drinking Ayahuasca would solve all my problems and I
I quickly found out that was not the case
I quickly found out that it would require work
and dedication and sincerity and to meet it half way
In doing so I realized significant benifits in my life
I can say that I'm a much happier
more well adjusted content person from my work
and that's substantial, that's not going anywhere
You know having a few years of perspective on it
I would say that my work with Ayahuasca
was without a doubt the biggest turning point in my life
This requires work but it's work that's well worth doing
and there's
there's big benifits to this
There's often no benifit in going back into ceremony
too quickly following a good cycle for work until
a sufficient amount of integration has occured
and usually people know when it's time to do it again
if they feel called to do it again
because that integrative process
can actually go on for years
I got an email from a guy in Hawaii yesterday
who was here with me 18 years ago telling me
how much the medicine is still working in his life and
expressing his gratitude for 
the treatment he received with it 18 years ago
and he's not had Ayahuasca since
That gives you an idea of the enduring
benifits and qualities that one can realize from it
