- If you're someone who
has to check their work
or school email right before bed.
- Or first thing after waking up.
- Then you may have heard
of the term burnout.
- Burnout is a symptom
of depression or anxiety
surrounding a person's career.
- While burnout resembles different things
for different people.
- We at Lady Like recognize
that this mental health
condition's a serious issue
in our YouTube community.
- Okay, we're not claiming
to have all the answers.
- But this week we're
gonna take a closer look
at how being constantly plugged in
has affected our mental health.
- And relationship to each other.
- It's Lady Like, and this
week, we're unplugging.
(soft music)
- So Mike, what are you doing today?
- Hi, I'm in this video about unplugging.
- That's so exciting, so
Mike, describe your job.
- I am a producer at
Buzzfeed, specifically I work
on LadyLike, hi everyone, you might have
seen me behind the scenes
in some of the videos.
I help shoot videos, I help edit videos.
I'm just here to support
these wonderful women.
- You do so much for LadyLike,
you're really like the engine
behind this little train, and so you have
to come and unplug with us.
- I am very grateful for this opportunity.
- I think that burnout means that you come
to work and you sit at your desk
and you wonder whether or
not you have enough energy
to even open your email.
- To me, burnout means
that I'm much more tired
than usual, and I just wanna sit at home
and not talk to anyone and not do anything
but knowing that I can't do that.
- Burnout is when you come home from work
and you don't even enjoy
playing your video games.
You just kinda wanna sit on your couch,
and then going to bed at 9:45,
but you're not happy about it.
- Typically, I'm a person who loves being
around other people, I get a kick
out of people and how
they react to things,
especially if reactions
are different from mine.
Burnout for me means that it's exhausting
to be around other people that I literally
cannot take in other people's energy
or else I will start losing it.
I will become emotional.
- Burnout to me means
you've been working nonstop
and your body and your mind
are just perpetually tired.
Even if you get a good night's sleep,
you'll still wake up and
you'll feel a little,
for lack of a better word, dead inside.
- We are shooting all
the time, sometimes some
of us edit our videos, but
honestly, we're shooting
so much it's really
hard to do that anymore.
When we're not doing that, we're posting
on Instagram, we're posting on Twitter.
We're doing these things
because when you don't
do these things, you
can't grow your following,
and if you're not growing your following,
you're losing your following.
People expect content when they want it,
which is all the time.
- I feel like whenever I'm burned out,
I just stop really caring,
like I don't really
have any motivation,
I'm just sort of like,
I don't care about this
project, like whatever.
Even if it was an exciting project,
I just sort of feel a
little bit numb to it all.
- I've been doing this consistently
for about three and a half years,
so I feel like I've definitely
established a rhythm
in how I work, but as everyone wants,
you know you always
wanna level up and grow
and do better and create something better
than the last, so that's always something
that I struggle with.
- I'm not even gonna put makeup
on for this pre-interview,
because at this point, what's the point?
I think my relationship with
social media is healthy-ish,
and if I'm continuing to go down the road
that I'm on, I feel like it will start
becoming a little unhealthy.
A couple weeks ago with
my boyfriend's family,
where we went to a campsite
that's only accessible by boat,
so it's on a lake and
there's port-a-potties,
like it's just like straight up camping.
We didn't even have tents, we're sleeping
underneath the stars for an entire week,
and it was amazing, but
one thing I noticed is
when I got back, it felt weird
to hold my phone in my hand.
- I love this job and I feel so lucky
to be on this team, but I
know that I will benefit
from unplugging and doing some self care.
I think that's just
what the doctor ordered.
- So I got this email from Glamping Hub
about just their offerings, and I'd never
heard about Glamping Hub before
and I went onto their website
and was like holy crap.
You can stay in a tree house?
So I reached out and they
were super, so excited
to work with us and were
down to give us like this
palatial cabin in the woods in Idyllwild.
This is a good thing for
us, and it's not like
we're not having any screen time.
I'm taking everyone's phones
and we're gonna put it
in a basket in somewhere in the home
where everyone has access to it.
I'm gonna outfit the house with a bunch
of Go Pros, we're using G7Xs
which is a Cannon camera,
it's point and shoot, so it's not
like we have a smart phone,
and I'm not gonna require, usually
as a producer, you're like everyone vlog!
It's gonna on me a little bit to make sure
that I capture those
moments of us connecting
and capture those moments of us unwinding.
So today we're gonna meet with therapist
Negar Sarshar, and she's
gonna give us a little bit
of an assessment about
kind of where we are
on this burnout spectrum and
what kind of things we need
to be focusing on to help us relax.
- Burnout is essentially
a state of chronic stress
that happens when we over exert ourselves
in our professional lives in an effort
to excel and actually succeed,
we end up harming ourselves
because we're essentially stepping
on the gas pedal with an empty gas tank.
- Mike, Kristin, and I
are driving up today,
this afternoon, we're just leaving.
Good morning.
I think Jen and Fred are here.
Well, well, well.
- I tried to be on brand for this trip.
(laughing)
- [Devin] Angry nature is our brand?
- Yes, angry nature.
- [Devin] Fierce nature.
- I mean there's some
fierce nature happening
in my ass right now, I'm sorry about that.
- [Devin] We may need to share a bathroom,
but this is your room.
- Cozy!
Ample closet space.
- [Devin] Right?
- [Kristin] We're about to turn our
phones off in mere moments.
- Can I show y'all what I have for you?
- Is this happening now?
- [Kristin] This is
happening now, my friend.
- Oh, I'm stressed.
(Kristin laughing)
- So the idea of taking in my surroundings
and not doing anything stresses me out.
When this project came
about, I was the most excited
about getting the chance
to finally finish my book,
start a new one, like doing things still,
but I realized that that's
also maybe a part of
my need for always to do something,
like just sitting there
and not doing anything,
like just putting the book
down, putting the phone down.
That, and then just sitting, scares me.
- So I found this cute little box
in this Glamping Hub cabin.
I thought it was nice and magical
to keep our phones in.
I thought we could put it
over there on the dresser
and then when you wanna
like log in your hour
of phone time, screen
time, you put it here.
And then just to be clear.
- I'm texting the whole time, I'm sorry.
(laughing)
- Once you do your hour,
is that a consecutive hour?
You can't break it up?
- It's just really hard
to measure I think,
to like break it up,
'cause I'm gonna be like,
was that 15 minutes?
And I don't wanna police y'all,
so what you have to do on your honor,
and you know on your own conscience
and just try to keep it to an hour.
- [Kristin] Mike is also on his phone.
- Getting the last little bit in.
The hardest part is going
to be actually committing
to the unplugging, given
that we're doing this
in the middle of the work week.
If it was a weekend and if it was like,
well I shouldn't be working anyway, that'd
be different, but there's just, it's gonna
be a little challenging.
- So let's plan for that.
What thoughts come up for you when you try
to unplug and then you
remember, oh, it's the middle
of a work week, I don't
feel good about this?
- I'm going to be dropping the ball
on somebody, the thoughts are
someone's gonna need something
and I won't be able to deliver it.
Oh and then mostly that
I'll just get behind.
- [Kristin] I really wish I
brought like a dummy phone
just to put in the box.
- No.
- [Kristin] Okay.
- Bye phone.
- [Jen] Kristin's sending
an out of office message.
- All right, I sent my
messages I need to send.
What are we doing now?
I know exactly what we're doing.
(Kristin laughing)
Trying to play dumb.
Procrastinate.
(yelling)
(laughing)
- Where the challenge for me is gonna be,
keeping these rules,
and like the whole crux
of this video is to be unplugged.
- What thoughts come up when somebody
pushes back for you and says oh, I need it
for 20 more minutes or one more hour?
Do you feel like you're being the bad cop?
- I feel like I'm being the bad cop
and I also feel like I don't wanna have
to force someone to be participatory
in an idea that I know gonna do well.
You know?
And if we half ass this, our
audience is super intuitive,
and they're gonna know.
This is gonna be fun you guys, I promise.
- Okay.
(crickets chirping)
I really want my phone.
(laughing)
- [Devin] You guys it's
been like maybe 15 minutes.
(laughing)
- The benefit of me is
I've been keeping busy.
- [Devin] Yeah, you've been
making awesome french toast.
- I suspect that, and
you tell me if this fits,
that there's a fear in what might come up
if you're still and silent with yourself?
- Yes.
Being still and silent
to me is like so boring.
When I think of people who meditate,
I'm so glad it really helps people,
I think it's really important
to have good coping skills,
but holy bananas.
- You respect it but you can't
for the life of you understand how you--
- I do not get it at all.
- If it doesn't feel comfortable for you
to focus just on being present
with your thoughts in a blank way,
you might choose to do something
you like in a mindful way.
I'm gonna choose to read this book
for 30 minutes, and I'm gonna watch
for when my mind starts
to wonder somewhere else
and bring myself back
so that you're talking
to yourself in a really kind way.
- We are going to the lake!
(cheering)
So we just got back from the market
and I asked the guy for directions,
and they're pretty simple, we just stay
on this road until we get to a gas station
in 10 minutes, and then we turn left.
I'm gonna try to follow those directions,
those spoken directions.
- [Kristin] Yes that's what
happens when people say things.
- Those oral directions,
instead of opening my phone.
So we're gonna see if
we get lost or not, bye.
- [Kristin] Bye.
(record scratch)
- I think I'm lost.
Listen, it's on airplane,
none of the apps are open.
We're in Stanford Valley
until we're in South Circle
and then we're in, I was right!
- [Kristin] I think we're on a driveway,
but Devin thinks we're on an actual road.
- Yeah this is still Pinecrest Ave.
- [Kristin] And this is the wrong way.
(Mike laughing)
- [Mike] So Kristin, what's going on?
- Okay, so my front seat
starting involuntarily moving
forward and now I'm squished
against the dashboard.
I can't figure out how to get it fixed.
Also we got lost, and also
no one knows where we are,
and Devin won't use GPS.
- Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.
I will look at the directions again.
- I bet you're gonna turn on your phone
and we're not gonna have service.
- My work and my identity
are not intertwined
so much as they are
literally the same thing.
I am a person who does work.
- Have you always been that person?
- Oh yes, I have a lot of problems
with relinquishing control,
and also allowing others
to solve problems for me.
- [Mike] Oh.
- We did it, I knew we could.
- We did it.
- We never turned on our GPS.
- We didn't, although
we probably should have.
- We may not be able to swim in this lake.
But still, she's asking for help.
- Were you gonna lock me
out and get on my phone?
- Yeah.
Did you ask?
- [Devin] Yes.
Get off the phone.
- Can you swim?
- [Freddie] Kristin!
- There's no service anyway,
'cause on airplane mode.
(mumbling)
(Mike laughing)
- [Freddie] Wow, we have our
own little private beach today.
- [Devin] It's been about, I would say
almost two hours, hour and a half maybe?
- I took my watch off, so I have no idea.
- So calming, so relaxing.
- This is really nice.
- So nice.
- There's no one here.
Jen, whatcha doing, babe?
- Um, throwing sticks.
- Okay, cool.
(laughing)
- I'm curious, what are
your rules for yourself
in terms of taking
breaks throughout the day
and when you're working on a project
do you kind of just go go go?
Or do you schedule time off?
- Well, when you're working
at a company like this,
and it is so collaborative,
you sort of have
to just be comfortable and be okay
with the fact that there's a lot of things
that are just gonna
appear on your calendar,
because your job requires you to work
with a lot of other people.
I think that's just something I don't like
about the job, that's just the one thing,
and that's not something that can change,
so this is more just me trying
to become more adaptable to
the style of the way we work.
I just wanna feel less stressed out
about my time management
and I just wanna stop
being such a baby.
- You're able to
recognize that when you're
in that place of stress,
things feel personal
that aren't personal.
- Something I've been working
on since I was a child.
I've always taken things really personal.
- Do you talk to yourself
in a negative way when that happens?
- Yeah.
- And start to doubt yourself?
- Mhm, I think connecting with each other
will help us connect to what
ultimate mission statement
of LadyLike is, I think it'll also just
remind us that we're friends,
you know what I mean?
We're coworkers and we
have that beautiful respect
and boundary, we're like the Spice Girls.
(laughing)
We've all peed outside, yay!
We've unplugged from bathrooms, yay!
Packing up, 'cause we're gonna go
back home and eat some dinner,
but look it's nature!
It's a harem or maybe
a crane, I don't know.
(Kristin laughing)
- We're leaving the lake and honestly,
I had like a really good time.
I actually wasn't really
missing my phone that much.
- And I feel like it's probably easier
to unplug when you're
with a bunch of people
verses when you're alone.
If I was alone I'd be
truly pulling my hair out.
- I would've lost my mind.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
Maybe unplugging is
more about like learning
to unplug in situations
where you can connect
better with other people?
- Ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding!
- Oh!
- The prize for that
revelation is your phone.
(soft music)
- So we just got back from
the beach, AKA the lake.
We're about to cook dinner.
- [Freddie] What's on the menu Mike?
- Oh we have a full spread tonight.
- [Freddie] Oo.
- We've got chicken nuggets with our own
little sriracha mayo ketchup sauce.
- [Freddie] Yum.
- We have asparagus
with balsamic tomatoes.
- [Freddie] Hold up!
- And the most indulgent part of this meal
is the baked brie and puff pastry
with some raspberry jam.
- From you it really feels
like it's the self talk
for you that you wanna focus on.
So if you could talk to yourself
in those moments and remind yourself
that this is enough.
This is a contract I made for myself
and this is actually good for me
and good for my work, you might be able
to settle in more to the moment.
- This is truly the longest
I think I've ever gone.
- Without looking at my phone.
- Without looking at my phone.
- I feel good, I feel fine.
I've been enjoying your company.
- I feel good too.
- I truly do feel okay,
'cause I'm with people.
We're able to chat, we're like, you know,
listening to music,
conversation is flowing.
- Two beautiful chefs cooking for us.
- Yes.
- Two beautiful chefs.
- [Freddie] We're sipping on wine.
Rose.
- Triscuits.
(laughing)
- I feel liberated 'cause I'm not thinking
about work in the slightest right now.
- [Freddie] That's great.
And you're doing what you
enjoy which is cooking.
- Cooking and hanging with friends.
- [Freddie] Kristin, how are you feeling?
- I honestly, I was
really anxious earlier,
and now I'm feeling better.
I think it's gonna be interesting
to see how I feel tonight.
- So you're worried about the consequences
of actually taking this time off?
- Yes.
- Even though ideally it sounds nice,
it feels like practically it doesn't work.
- Yes.
I actually worked on my vacation too.
It's one of those things
where there's no way out
except through, and there's no
ending, so it's just forever.
- Is that sustainable?
- No, it's absolutely not sustainable,
which is I think why
we're doing this video.
- [Freddie] What in heaven's name.
Devin did you set this up?
- Cool table al fresco outside
in the trees and the mountains!
- [Freddie] This is so nice.
Look at these lights,
and we're gonna start
with the baked brie!
- Usually, I'm the one
who does all the cooking
in my household, so when I wasn't cooking
I felt like I wasn't doing anything,
and I didn't have a phone to look at,
so I was like, I'll do this.
- [Mike] We moved inside.
- Too many mosquitoes.
- [Mike] We were getting bitten.
- I'm so antsy right now, I
just wanna look at my phone.
- [Devin] Why?
- 'Cause when I'm talking
to people it's like, I'm on!
What's up?
It's me!
And then like when I am
not talking to people
I can like shut down.
- You can just sit though,
you don't need to tell a joke.
- I know, but then I'm just
like walking back and forth.
- If you're gonna be
pushing on the gas pedal
and there's no gas in the tank,
you're not going anywhere.
- Why don't you just see if
you have any urgent texts?
- [Kristin] That's kind
of more what it is.
- [Mike] Yeah.
- I'm gonna check to see
if I have any urgent texts.
- [Devin] Oh.
- And if I do, I'm gonna
respond, if I don't.
- [Freddie] Jen, what's
happening over there?
- Nothing.
- So I wonder what that means
in terms of your roll while you're away.
- Well here's the think,
like I don't wanna argue.
I know what the experience I'm trying
to create is a little bit different,
it's a bit of a departure, I get it.
- That's good.
The fact that you don't wanna argue.
These are the rules,
one hour of phone time.
I'm not willing to
negotiate because I love you
and this is good for
you, and if somebody does
grab their phone or whatever it is,
that's where I think it might be helpful
for you to recognize your own boundaries.
- [Freddie] Are you
gonna put it back down?
(laughing)
- [Mike] So Freddie,
why are you sauntering
over to the phone box?
- Well I migrated over this way just
because I saw that my phone
was outside of the box,
and that's because it
got removed when Kristin
and Jen got their phones.
Oo, I want so bad to just like
press the button and see what--
- [Mike] Oh, it only looked like
one notification, which isn't--
- It was just a g-cal thing.
- [Mike] Oh, put it away.
- Wait now I'm upset that I
only have one g-cal reminder.
- [Mike] It's a double-edged sword.
(Mike laughing)
- So it's about 11:56 midnight,
I'm about 30 minutes into my phone time.
I really hope I'm not coming across
as like, self-righteous
or anything like that.
When it's gone and I give
myself the permission
to kind of let go of it, don't miss it,
because sometimes like phone dings really
cause my anxiety to rise,
and notifications really
make me nervous and incoming emails,
a full inbox really irks me, so I'm ready
to go to bed, I think
it's been a good day,
been a good day away.
- So it's day tow of us
in the Idyllwild cabin.
I woke up, I had to watch a cut of a video
and give notes on it so
that we could continue
to release content on our page.
How did everyone's phone
time go last night?
- Honestly I left my phone
in the box last night
and I just watch TV shows on my computer.
- Nice.
- I checked Twitter
for about five minutes,
then I got really sad, and then I decided
that I didn't need it, and
then I just left it alone.
- Yay!
- It didn't take me long
to catch up on phone time,
like I thought oh man, this is gonna
be so many emails, so many
Instagrams to look at,
and there weren't, that's my story.
- My phone time was probably a good 45.
Texting, catching up on emails.
There wasn't much going
on on Instagram though.
- [Devin] All right y'all, where are we?
- We're are Living Free!
- Animal sanctuary.
- Animal sanctuary.
(laughing)
- [Devin] So what are we doing here today?
- We are gonna play
with some cats and dogs.
We're gonna release the
animals into the wild.
- No we're not.
- We are gonna let them go.
- No we're not.
(upbeat music)
Um, Kermit, excuse me.
(laughing)
Sir, I need.
- [Kristin] Well if you must.
- Okay, thank you sir.
- [Mike] Eyore!
- Hi!
(gasping)
- We are leaving the animal sanctuary now.
We are heading back, it's
about 3:30 in the afternoon.
It was really nice to see the animals.
It was really nice to pet and touch them.
There were so many nice cats.
There were so many nice dogs.
- I'm really happy that we did that
and I think I'm most impressed
by how horses can be used for therapy.
I'm just blown away by the
amount of care, respect,
and expertise of that these
people give to the animals.
- [Kristin] Are you a horse boy?
- Am I a horse boy?
- [Kristin] Oh my god.
- Equine therapy, I think it
would be such a monumental cure
for toxic masculinity, 'cause it's all
about consent, it's all about asking.
It's all about feeling out boundaries.
Anyone really who
struggles with boundaries,
look into equine therapy,
because that was absolutely insane.
- I fell in love with a cat.
- Which cat?
- Her name was Godiva,
and she was a white cat
with a lion cut, and I
was obsessed with her,
and I'm considering
bringing Roberta up here
and seeing how they interact
and potentially adopting Godiva.
We'll see.
- Y'all, are you ready to go to a cabin
this afternoon on a rainy
day and listen to the rain?
- Yes, now it's raining,
which is even more relaxing,
and we're just gonna like curl up
and hang out and be cozy,
without our phones.
- [Devin] What did we learn
through this experience?
- I think we all learned this lesson,
but I think I learned that
it's surprising how little
you'll miss your phone,
and it wasn't like we don't
have good conversations
when we have our phone,
but I don't think I
would've been more likely
to get distracted or just be less engaged
so that the conversations
wouldn't have lasted
as long if I'd had it.
- Yeah, definitely had a lot of fun
just sitting and chatting and the company
was great and like you said, we just sit
and chat all the time, but I do think
it was a little bit more in depth.
- I also really enjoyed cooking
and just it felt like we were a big family
having a family dinner together
and breakfast and just,
it was very wholesome.
It was very good for bonding.
- I think that it was good
for me to get off Twitter.
Probably a very positive thing,
so I think it's less about being
off my phone and more about not
being around toxic things anymore.
- So unplugging for a
couple days, lady tested.
- Lady empowered.
- Powering back up.
- All right.
- Power power.
- Power.
- [Devin] Let's get outta here.
- Bye!
- Wait, oh, hold on, here we go!
- Yay!
- Wow!
- Whose is that?
- That's mine!
- Okay.
- We don't even know
our own phones anymore!
It's been 30 years!
- This old thing.
(soft music)
