Flip mill presents 10 people who married inanimate
objects
Number one: Amy Wolfe is an organist for a
church located in Pennsylvania.
She intends to marry an amusement park ride
known as “1001 Nights".
Amy has ridden the “1001 Nights” over
3000 times and has coated her room with photographs
of him.
She intends to legally change her last name
to Weber, the company’s name who manufactures
the ride.
You must be at least this mad to marry this
ride.
Number two: Erika Eiffel (yes, you heard right!)
describes the renowned Paris monument as having
subtle curves.
She chronicles the structure as being “amazing.”
Erika is quoted saying “It’s almost as
if I could hear the tower sobbing out for
me, saying, ‘Somebody notice me, really,
notice me!’
Marrying a human will definitely make the
Eiffel Tower more noticed among people.
Number three: Jannene Swift, a secretary,
married a 50 lb. chunk of granite in 1976.
I know it was the 70s, but still, that whole
pet rock trend really got out of control.
Number four: A man from Japan married Nene
Anegasaki,
an anime character that originates from “Love
Plus”, a Nintendo DS video game.
The wedding happened in Guam, a place which
tends to attract people who plan to marry
inanimate objects.
This marriage is binding as Gamestop does
not take returns on damaged goods.
Number five: In 1989, the Berlin Wall was
taken down, but the wall continues to live
on through Elija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer.
She married the famous communist symbol in
the year 1979.
And she doesn’t fall in love with just any
walls.
She’s picky.
She thinks that the Great Wall of China is
attractive, but is quoted as saying her husband
is much sexier.
Number six: On an episode of the television
series “30 Rock”, James Franco played
a character who was madly in love with a pillow.
It was funny because it’s a television show
and the idea is outlandish.
Who would have ever guessed that there was
a man in Korea who actually did fall in love
with a pillow, and even married it.
Number seven: A man named Joachim decided
to settle down with a steam engine locomotive,
and their relationship has lasted despite
the strain brought on by his profession as
a repair man.
Joachim is aroused by the internal components
of technical objects and he admits that repair
jobs have led him to cheat on his locomotive
in the past.
He confesses that a broken radiator could
very well be the onset of another love affair.
Number eight: Bill Rifka has been known to
flirt with a laptop or two, but his love remains
with his iBook.
This love affair was reported in 2007
so, we hope he hasn’t ditched the iBook
for a younger model.
Number nine: Sandy K., a woman in Berlin,
lost her husband and love of her life during
the attacks of September, 11th.
Her husband was not in the towers, her husband
was the Twin Towers.
Number ten: A British woman named Emma is
in love with Jake, a hi-fi stereo.
Emma says she and Jake “make love” at
least twice a day.
Hi Fidelity, indeed.
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