If your video is longer than 10 minutes, that basically means you can put-
(just read the yellow text please)
You get better ads, and you can put ads in between the video,
which means you'll make more money.
And you know what, I'm not going to shame anyone for that.
Now the thing, though, it's like-
you look at people's-
channels, and you just see, like- barely hitting the limit.
They're all ten now. They're all ten now, baby. Don't you worry about it. I'm gonna come back to this.
Listen, I'm not trying to shame anyone, all right. I would have done the same.
Good.
I didn't like seeing anyway.
What''s up everyone, it's ya boi, Casper here bringing you a...
straight to DVD sequel.
10 minute videos.
Everyone makes 'em, no one likes 'em.
Stretching out them videos to ten minutes so you could put mid-roll ads in the video.
I know I am extremely guilty of it myself,
This is not going to be a big exposé piece on 10 minute videos as long as it's not milking,
It is considered fine in my book,
Unless when you are milking it to ten minutes.
"Let's get down to business,"
"to defeat,"
*plate crashing*
"the Hans!"
A perfect example I'd like to use here is ya boi,
RiceGum, (chinese sounds)
America's Favorite Mulan Spin-off.
Is that racist? I dunno.
RiceGum has made the I N C R E D I B L Y bold decision to move to 10 minute videos,
which, like I said previously, there is nothing wrong with that as long as it isn't milked.
RiceGum in fact, does milk the videos to 10 minutes and,
not by just repeating points or regurgitating stuff and just being incredibly bland,
No. He does something much worse.
RiceGum: I love you guys, subscribe if you're new! Comment, I read all comments!
And now, I tried to make this video somehow ten minutes!
(The Windows XP crash sound, funny meme,  xd)
(Click Yes to delete RiceGum's 10 minute videos he has saved to post later)
Pyrocynical: Is that? Is that the end of the video?
Is it? It's just this sh-
Y-you gotta be kidding me. Is that? Is that the entire video?
Is it just this still screen for the next 4 min-
Now RiceGum's main problem is,
He will make a video and then it will hit about six or seven minutes, and he'll think to himself,
(in an Asian accent) "Oh, how do I get the video to 10 minutes, I thought. I'd- I really don't know."
Oh, just as a note, I'm not racist. I love Asian people. [cis white scum]
I- I don't like Koreans though
Pyro: Hyojin no one can understand you
Hyojin: Fuck off white cunt
Pyro: HERRO IT'S ME HYOJIN
Hyojin: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Hyojin: you cracker!
Pyro: Welcome to my Discord
So RiceGum will have this epiphany of
Stretching the video out and it's just a still image.
- We have to do something about--
- What should we do bro?
- Diss track.
- Diss track!
[Such intense music wow xd omg so intense i cant wait please kill me]
[say something you fat cunt-]
This is basically two and a half minutes of a DM screenshot.
I mean, people say "YouTube is a great website"?
I- I disagree.
It's either a still image of something,
Or it is repeating a clip in the video, but, slowed down to the point where it's like,
One frame a year.
[clip]How you feeling? How you feel about that, bruh?
I feel terrible, bruh, I wanted to go to Disneyland and bring my family to Disneyland...
[Sad music niBBa]
This goes on for four minute- a four minutes of just
*Laughing*
It's just.. So *Cackling* bad!
What worries me the most about this is the videos themselves have a really good like ratio, and the comments-
There's barely anyone complaining about the milking.
I assume because the RiceGum fans wants the video to be 12 years long...
So, they just sit there looking at a-
a DM screenshot... salivating, just waiting for something for their beloved lord and savior to say.
I really hope that RiceGum gets his own film, uh...
Mulan Three..
Diss track.
I do have to say though, I- It is really scummy what RiceGum's doing here.
Again, the whole stretch into ten minutes, I'm fully aware that I've done it in the past,
You could easily find videos that I've stretched to ten minutes.
I am completely guilty of that and I'm admitting it to you right now.
But I've never put a still image of a screen shot for two minutes straight
This is a new low at Rice- RiceGum has hit a- a-
Did someone say, uh, Did someone say RiceGum has hit a new low, maybe?
Subscribe
Let's get right into the news, but even more cancer than previously thought possible (lol xd)
Listen fam. I- I don't want to be talking about this, all right.
Let's be fair, It- It's YouTube 2017, unless you talk about Jake Paul, your channels gonna die, all right?
So, let's just get it over with, just as quick as we can, you know, I'm just gon- I'm gonna get the scalpel and just cut straight in.
Quite recently, Jake Paul had a little bit of a media slip-up, le- let's just dub it that
He did one of his amazing vlogs that are just absolutely outstanding.
Go Team 10.
I- love heart crying emoji.
And what happened was, a fan approached Jake,
and I would just show you the clip.
- Hi! 
- Hi.
Can you put this on vlog, please?
- Yes
(indistinct laugh)
Where are you from?
I'm from Kazakhstan originally but--
- Oh..
- It sounds like you're just gonna blow someone up.
- Thank you so much.
- Somebody like...
SEND THE NUKE!
Now this clip has sparked an absolute backlash on Jake Paul and...
*sniff*
for once...
I'm going to side...
with Jake Paul...
(the internet unsubs)
I'm not going to side with him, but I'll explain why people are freaking out.
(the internet says ok lol)
I don't like Jake Paul.
(the internet resubscribes following the slow clap meme)
Now I can see why people are freaking out.
You know, the fact that he's being semi-racist to this kid?
I mean this little boy, uh....
Vladimir...
Should I even say that?
Uh, I'm gonna undermine my entire point if I say that.
V I D E O M I L K I N G N I B B A
Yeah, let's do it.
All right, so, you got 'lil Vladimir Bidinski here from some country where they still use Rou- Roubles
Personally, I don't think what he said is racist in and of itself
it's offensive, definitely, and
He comes from a different kind of community to myself so he's just more family friendly orientated.
So, Jake, Jake.
(car revving)
- No, Jake.
- Oh!
Oh, man.
- No!
- I'm good.
- Oh yeah.
- Well let's go!
Wait, your truck's away from me!
(roblox banner ad lol)
Why I'm trying to say is, his fan base are children.
I'm aware my fan base is children in it as well, [15 yr old french girl amirite]
But his fan base is comprised of about 90% of tweens.
So, they're gonna be really impressionable and if they see this gentleman here, uh..
Vladimir... what- whatever name I gave him.
And, he's just being that openly insultive to the guy, even if it's a joke he sent; it sets a really bad precedent now.
Jake Paul has done a ton of stupid stuff in the past which I've already talked about but
But it does set a really bad precedent for kids, because, you know, if you do this dumb stuff,
Impressionable kids are gonna see it, and then-
All right, they might not act it out, like they might uh,
set a fire in their backyard, but still,
It gives them this ideology that they can be vulgar and impulsive and it's OK because you-
(dab) you are...
DABBIN ON THE HATERS!
Now I was gonna close this topic and move on to something else because I could already feel my bank account full of Reddit Gold,
There is a hashtag that people have started and it is trending:
(read it on the screen)
Now I was gonna spend an entire segment looking up #jakepaulisoverparty,
But it is devolved into such a mess.
There is no cohesive narrative there whatsoever it is-
this tweet here,
this tweet here,
basically sums up #jakepaulisoverparty.
It is just people E-begging and self-promoting.
It's kinda like #PizzaGate.
If you don't know what #PizzaGate is,
I wouldn't look it up if you like uh, living.
Some Woman: Hi, everyone!
Today, I'm going to teach you how to draw the sob- sobbing emoji face that you see so much on Facebook
Now onto some more positive news,
The Emoji Movie came out.
No, I did see the Emoji Movie,
I (illegally) watched it.
I went to a (streaming website) and (illegally) watched it.
Now the film itself, for any of you that haven't watched it,
Don't. Just don't. I could sit here and give you a comprehensive review...
Don't watch it.
Don't do it, because firstly, you are giving Sony Pictures (Animation) money.
The film was basically an entire circle-jerk toward sponsored products.
I kind of think that Sony (in movies globally, except the 90s) realized they're gonna make their money back because
by the look of it so far, they're definitely not
I mean, have you seen the amount of empty cinemas?
There's a 20-minute dance sequence at the end of the film.
Twenty minutes.
D'you know how long 20 minutes goes when you're counting?
But one success about The Emoji Movie is that...
(totally thinking)
All right, there isn't any successes,
But it's started a discussion, all right?
You go on the reviews of RottenTomatoes or any kind of site and they are glorious ,and
I can't really articulate how amazing these reviews are myself, so
What I'm gonna do right now is hand it over to my boy AKindAleWar, so
With his posh thesbian voice,
He can show you how...
terrible these reviews are that they're actually terrible.
AKindAleWar: The Emoji Movie is...
A religious experience.
You know how God made Satan just so we could immediately turn back around and say "Yeah, fuck that guy"?
This is what this is it is!
It is a unifying entity!
It has brought people of all creeds and colors, races and religions
It has brought everybody together as one,
As a single people just so they could all say in a single unifying voice,
(wtf?)
wow, that was terrible, that was a- that was- that was- that was not good
So the results are in, and it turns out
The Emoji Movie has utterly thrashed all expectations, meaning
It is bad as cancerous as a summer holiday to Chernobyl.
Now, is the surprising anyone? Not in the fucking slightest!
It's got 7% on Rotten Tomatoes! What's the news here?
What is even there to talk about? This movie is shit! Go about your day! Eat a sandwich.
Well here's the thing, right?
Here's the tops.
Here's the- *inhale*
Here's the big news.
Here's the biguns.
The big news is: there is some total of
L I T E R A L L Y
ffFIVE people
Five people who believe this film is not anything less than the death of cinema
Astounding! I know absolutely breathtaking.
One is just written in Spanish, that doesn't count.
One is brought to you by the people who brought you Overwatch...
Well, this one of the end I find the most interesting.
This is the entity that has given this movie the highest ranking score on the entirety of the planet.
That... isn't a dirty foreigner.
The rating of three stars was bestowed upon The Emoji Movie by...
Common Sense Media.
Which is a website that parents go to that tells them how to do their jobs for them.
Look I get why these People are being more lenient, so there's a fucking stupid reason
It's because anything that is child entertainment is immediately brought down to a lower standard.
Like, I get it right? Kids'll watch everything!
They'll watch this, (lol watch og teen titans)
They'll watch this (it's everyday bro)
They'll watch this (?????)
this (Shrek has Swag), this (new Pyrocynical videos)
and this. (actual cancer) But at
the same time, the lowest standard's so much just because "all kids will watch everything" is just absolutely ridiculous!
Some of the cleverest, most engaging television of the last decade has come out of child's entertainment.
I don't know, maybe it's just a personal thing,
Maybe people just need to be more critical of things in general or not..
I don't- I don't know. I don't care. Just-
Enjoy shit, or don't in your own way.
fucking
Do your own thing.
Subscribe to my shit channel.
fuck you
Sony is just the monolith of films at the moment, uh...
The smurfs? Smurfs 4? Yes, please.
(let's wait until the film actually a quality film like what they do in the 90s)
Thank you all so much for watching. It is heavily appreciated, you know, really, a really constipated appre-
I want to give a massive thank you to AKindAleWar for his little segment in the video.
He is such an underappreciated channel
I would really appreciate if you could take the time to visit his channel
See if it's the content that you'd watch and subscribe.
Don't just subscribe for the sake of it,
Obviously if you don't enjoy his content or it's not to your taste, then-
You know that, that's fine, I'm not making you watch someone, but
If his content is appealing to you, and more the better, you can subscribe to him.
You can interact with his videos because (inhales) he definitely needs more exposure.
He's a very underrated YouTube channel.
Again, just want to say thank you for watching. If you enjoyed the video, drop a like.
I'm not doing a like goal.
Shrek has Swag 4 was a complete mistake.
I am never doing a light goal in my life.
(Well, I probably will.)
And if you're new to the channel you could subscribe. Uh...
What- what do people say? Turn on bell notification?
Who give- Who gives a shit, Who gi- Who cares?
Just go watch someone else. Who cares?
(bad Markiplier impresssion)
Hey gais, merkiplaier hier, meiking
the fuck? what is this video?
Mark, this video is AIDS. what are you doing?
