

### Frequently Asked Questions:

### Emotions & Feelings

### By

### Jesus (AJ Miller) &

### Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck)

### Session 1

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2016 Divine Truth

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed. If you enjoyed this book, please return to Smashwords.com to discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

### This ebook is a collection of answers given by Jesus (AJ Miller) on the topic of emotions and feelings. The answers were given in an interview with Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck), who posed frequently asked questions from members of the media and public, on 16th and 17th April 2014 in Wilkesdale, Queensland, Australia. In this session Jesus discusses issues such as; the emotional cause of physical pain, the cause of feeling blocked up emotionally, actions we take because we hold onto darker emotions, a few questions about fear and anger, the relationship between anger and forgiveness, and the temptation to shame others.

### Reminder From Jesus & Mary

### Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

### It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

### Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

### Many other ebooks have been published by Divine Truth, including ebooks translated into a variety of different languages.

### Please visit <http://www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth> or www.divinetruth.com for further information.

### Additional sessions on the subject in this book can be found on www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth

### For more information go to:

Divine Truth (www.divinetruth.com)

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Table of Contents

0. Introductory Comments

1. How do I deal with fear while going through physical pain?

2. I feel emotionally blocked. Is it a matter of time before tears finally come?

3. I often know the emotion I must feel, but how do I feel it?

4. Can darker emotions cause us to take impure actions?

5. Why do we wish to ignore our dark emotions?

6. I feel I am not receiving God's Love. Why is this? Where do I start?

7. I control others through shame. I try to change. Why do my actions stay the same?

8. How can I release suppressed anger of many years? How can I get past this huge block?

0. Introductory Comments

What we'd like to do now is welcome you to our discussion and frequently asked questions about emotions. Obviously there are so many things we could talk about about emotions. There are literally thousands of different types of emotions a person can feel and there's often times many questions, many more thousands of questions that people have about how to work through their emotions and release emotions that are negative, feel positive emotions and so forth. Before we start answering all of these questions with you what we'd like to do is recommend that you watch the series of frequently asked questions called how the human soul functions. It's under the human soul series of FAQ's and we suggest to you that you watch the first three sessions of those series of FAQ's before you actually go ahead and watch our answers to people's emotional questions. The main reason why we suggest that is because we feel quite strongly that unless you understand how the soul works, you will probably not understand many of our answers about the questions about emotions.

**Mary:** Also watching that series will let you know why it's so relevant for you to begin to deal with emotions and why it's so important in your progress towards God.

Some of these FAQ's will come from seminars. Some will come from media interviews or interviews with individuals and some will come from the interactions that myself and Mary have here in a setting like this and there will be a complete mixture of all different types of questions about emotions and about emotional processing and so forth in this section of FAQ's about emotions. We expect there will be many, many sessions. At this stage we've got over a hundred and twenty or thirty questions prepared which will take us many days to go through and we won't do them all this week or in the following weeks but we hope you enjoy our answers to your questions about emotions and emotional processing and other questions associated with emotions. We hope that they help you become more open to your human soul the soul being that you are, and also more open to God.

**Mary:** As always, if you would like to send us questions to have Jesus or myself answer you can send them to faq@divinetruth.com. We know that a lot of you have questions about emotions but please make sure to watch the videos that we have already filmed answers to regarding a topic before you send us more questions because we might have already answered your questions.

We have a group of people that are actually allocating these questions and obviously sometimes we make slip ups and we might finish up answering the same questions twice but most of the time what we're trying to do is be quite concise with these questions. Some of these questions are quite long because the people have given some explanatory text to them and so naturally they will be quite long on the website and also quite long in the question part of the question that we have to dissect them, which we will do through this discussion. We hope you enjoy this discussion about emotions and also start to see through your own aspect of practising and feeling your own emotions and how important it is in your relationship with God.

1. How do I deal with fear while going through physical pain?

**Mary:** This question comes to us from Linda and she asks, "How do I deal with fear while trying to process through physical pain?"

Even that is a fear based question I suppose. This is the issue that most people have with physical pain. They do not allow themselves to feel the physical pain. They are trying to suppress it before they begin and the problem for most of us is the reason why we have physical pain is because fear exists already. The problem is we need to allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by both things, both the physical pain and the fear of the pain that we're feeling. Most people won't allow that particular process to occur because they feel that becoming overwhelmed with it, they become even more frightened and instead of allowing themselves to feel their fear and shake and cry or whatever it is that is going to be needed to feel the fear of their pain, they try to suppress the fear of their pain which actually will increase the sensation of the pain rather than reduce it and then of course they go and take another option and that is generally to get some kind of medical form of suppression of the pain. Now obviously here what we're doing is we're talking about pain that is not like extreme physical pain caused from some extreme accident or sickness or disease.

**Mary:** Like your legs cut off or something.

Exactly, we're talking now about pain that basically occurs every day of our life and that seems to intensify under certain conditions and that we often are resistive to feeling. You will find if you allow yourself to feel and experience fear you will allow the experience of pain and also in the experience of fear pain will reduce, not increase. So if the pain is increasing, it means that you are attempting to suppress your fear of it and so my suggestion to people is allow the feeling of your fear of the pain that you're experiencing. That's all I can suggest here without knowing the details of what pain it is and what kind of things are being suppressed.

**Mary:** From my personal experience, you've helped me a lot with this issue of physical pain and the fear of physical pain and once a month, I go through quite a lot of physical pain. Sometimes it waxes and wains but generally when I have my period I get a lot of pain and I used to be trying to survive that pain and endure it and I would be quite rigid in my fear really of experiencing the pain.

I feel you used to do a lot of things besides those two things. You tried to survive it; you tried to nurse it sometimes where you would do something physical to attempt to alleviate the pain itself, rather than focusing on what may be the cause of such pain, and remember the cause of all pain is the suppression of some emotion. When we are trying to alleviate the pain without fixing the emotion, it's sort of almost counterproductive and counter intuitive. We'd be better off spending our time trying to find out what the emotion is that we're trying to suppress that's causing our pain. I find most people are not even using their intellect in that direction. When they are feeling pain, generally they are trying to either get away from it, so they take some kind of pain medication or what they try to do is suppress the pain using some comfort based technique, whether that be either food or a hot water bottle or having a nice warm bath or a lovely long shower or some other method that they have to reduce the physical pain rather than allow themselves to feel what the cause may be. They are already in suppression of the cause and in fact all pain is the result of suppression of the cause. If we've got pain, it's already telling us, if we reflect back to "How the Human Soul Functions," the pain is already telling us that we don't understand suppression and that we don't understand resistance. That there is some kind of preclusive emotion inside of our soul, which we are in complete denial of that we've suppressed and resisted completely, which is causing our body now to respond to the suppression of that particular emotion. Usually it is very much related to the location of the pain in the body. In the case of a woman with her period it's located in the sexual organs.

**Mary:** The reproductive organs.

The reproductive organs of the woman: The pain is a suppression of an emotion relating to sexuality or reproduction. It's got to be otherwise the pain would be somewhere else. There'd be pain maybe in their tummy or something like that. If you are suppressing large amounts of fear you will often have pain in the upper part of your abdomen around your gall bladder, those kinds of issues. If you are suppressing rage you will often have kidney, liver based issues that cause the suppression of pain. If you are suppressing the emotion of worth, low self worth, you will often have pain in your lower back and your back will have problems. If you are suppressing emotion relating to responsibility you will often have pain in your shoulders. If it's your left shoulder it will be towards woman, if it's your right shoulder it will be towards men. We could go on and on and on about what body area you are going to have pain in if you suppress emotion but if we understand the general principle, if I suppress emotion it will result in pain. This is a fact and we need to have faith in that fact. If I am experiencing pain, it means I am suppressing something. I am already suppressing it and I need to acknowledge that. Now we could pray about that if we involve God in that process or we could try and use our intellect to find out what it might be that we are feeling, a certain feeling and try to attempt to feel that emotion. We could do either, but at some point we are going to have to do that if we are ever going to be relieved of our pain.

**Mary:** From what you have helped me with and knowing Linda and knowing her question and where it comes from. She acknowledges that she is in suppression of something and this is the cause of her pain but she's feeling like, but I just can't hack it. I want to just go and take a Panadol.

Yes, she doesn't want to sit in the pain. She doesn't want to sit in the results of the suppression or the suppression itself and this is what most people do. What most people do with suppression of emotion is they suppress the emotion, which then causes pain and they don't want to feel the result of their suppression of the emotion, which is the pain, and so they go and find something to suppress the pain. This is how slimy we are as individuals actually, from God's perspective. We're always trying to slip out of the real reason of why something is happening. Pain is always the result of a suppression of something and we need to acknowledge that it's our desire to suppress. The pain is the direct result of our desire to suppress. No other reason. If we didn't desire to suppress then we wouldn't have the pain. Now when you go and take a Panadol or some other form of pain medication (that's the label of the pain medication here in Australia), what will happen is that you're just showing that you desire to suppress more. What we need to do is use our intellect and our will to attempt to find out why we have such strong desire to suppress pain and strong desire to suppress the reason why the pain occurred, which is our emotion about that particular area of our body. There's something going on inside that particular area of our body that we have now had a long term suppressive relationship with, that we're in total resistance of and because it's been such a long term problem it's now exhibiting the problem as pain in our physical form and we need to understand that.

**Mary:** Yes so to relate to my example and how you've helped me. Before we met I would take pain killers once a month and while I didn't like that and I thought it was very bad for my liver that was the only way I could literally get out of bed and function and even then that was like pushing it. Then when we met and I felt that intellectually I wanted to explore the Divine Truth, I stopped taking pain killers, I stopped taking any medication for the large part anyway and decided I needed to feel. Decided intellectually that I needed to feel but what happened was I would still go and get a hot water bottle and you could feel from me, and you might have to help me with this because I shifted something here and I find it hard to articulate, but you would feel from me this feeling, and I can feel the feeling I had of trying to survive the pain, literally like it felt like internally...

Yes the feeling that it feels like from a third party feeling it; is a feeling of the person trying to, they are terrified of the pain and they are trying to survive it through some comforting means rather than just allowing the pain to overwhelm them and therefore flow through them. It's the suppression of the flow of the pain that actually causes more pain. So it actually increases the amount of pain the person experiences.

**Mary:** This is my experience, exactly what you described. We had a discussion, just simply one discussion about this and I realised I was trying to do this and I decided to experiment with just sort of surrendering to the pain. Instead of trying to, it felt like emotionally (Mary pushes away with her hands) go like this towards the pain.

So rejection of the pain...

**Mary:** That I would go into the pain and I hate using these airy fairy ways or esoteric ways of ...

So it was a desire to feel it instead so you allowed yourself to actually soften to the feeling of it.

**Mary:** Exactly, and in doing that my pain reduced.

And sometimes disappeared.

**Mary:** Sometimes totally disappeared or what I would usually experience for 36 hours would be there for one hour.

However ...

**Mary:** That's where I'm going.

However the actual pain still appears every month which is an indication that there is still the suppression of the emotional cause. So while now you are accepting the pain and you are allowing the feeling and experience of such pain, there is still the disallowance of the feelings associated with its emotional cause. Now in your case you know the emotional cause is associated with many events in the first century relating to sexuality and also relating to child birth and also the torture of your death.

**Mary:** Being a mother and my death and many things.

There are many emotions involved that you are going to need to allow yourself at some point to actually experience and at the moment you are still resistive to experiencing those emotions and so the pain still occurs or re-occurs every month. However now that you know if you resist the pain it makes it worse you are now not resisting the pain and you find it goes away within an hour or a few days instead of it being days and days and days of large discomfort where you're almost bedridden or are bedridden. You now have only an hour or a few hours where you feel that way and you know that you've got to focus back on the feeling the pain again.

**Mary:** I spend that time and have intellectual acknowledgement of the causes but allowing that pain and I'm very aware that obviously I'm still suppressing the causes otherwise the pain wouldn't exist.

Correct.

**Mary:** But this process of even just allowing the surrender to pain, whatever I'm calling it, has reduced my fear of all physical pain and I suppose that Linda's question was, how do I deal with fear while trying to process physical pain.

Can you see that what's happened is that you've reduced your fear of physical pain but your fear of emotional pain still remains? It's still quite high and while our fear of emotional pain is present it will prevent us from actually going through the process of not creating pain. In other words we will always create pain while we fear the emotional pain. We will create physical pain when we fear the emotional pain. The secret now is to go through this process of working through your fear of emotional pain, which you've been doing for many months now. It's the fear of emotional pain which is the main cause of the physical pain and we need to understand these relationships if we're ever going to stop them from occurring. Now once we understand that it's our fear of emotional pain that's actually creating our physical pain, it tends to suggest that our emotional pain is far greater in our mind and far more terrifying in our soul to feel than the physical pain is even, because we're prepared to feel the physical pain rather than feel the emotional pain. I find this an interesting aspect about many of us is that because we've shut down our soul so much and we've shut down the expression of the emotional pain so much, of course our bodies are going to revert to displaying to us the pain that we feel emotionally, as a physical symptom.

This is actually a loving thing that God has done. God's basically saying look, there's the one level or layer of resistance that you've been placed in and that is your emotional resistance to feeling emotional pain and when you do that you start getting physical pain. This is now telling you there's this second layer. Now you have another layer of choice. Are you also going to completely suppress the physical pain or are you going to acknowledge to yourself, "Ah, this is all caused because I have decided to suppress my emotional pain." Once we become more self responsible we start going, "I actually don't want to keep going to this physical pain all the time on a regular basis what I need to do instead is feel the emotional pain that creates it." Once you choose to do that, if you find the emotional pain that caused that problem, the physical symptoms will completely disappear and the body itself will repair any damage that was done to that part of the body after the physical symptoms have disappeared.

**Mary:** You're saying really that it's a question again of our will and a softening and a desire to find our emotional pain that is the cause but also using my example there is a process of even softening to physical pain that many of us are resisting.

Yes and also seeing the relationship.

**Mary:** Between the physical pain and the emotional pain.

Exactly. Most people don't do that. Most people are completely disconnected from the relationship between the physical and emotional pain. The physical pain is the effect of the suppression of the emotional pain and we need to understand this relationship. This is one relationship that the majority of people on this planet do not understand and so it's natural that many of us have grown up with a complete disconnection to this relationship. But we need to have some faith that this is the relationship that we have to become aware of and in fact God has created this way in Love of us. God's saying to us look, you suppress this emotional pain you have and this physical pain is the consequence of the suppression of the emotional pain and now you've got two types of pain and what I'm basically showing you is, if you suppress emotional pain, you not only have emotional pain but you also have the additional physical pain as a result. He's trying to show you that suppression is not the way to go. So we talked in "How the Human Soul Functions" about suppression and a person needs to learn about suppression but one of the things they need to learn about suppression is that it is not the solution to any problem and this is something that God is trying to teach everybody on this planet. Suppression of a problem and suppression of the effect of a problem is not the solution to the problem. The only way to solve a problem is get to its cause and the cause of physical pain isn't some kind of malfunction in your body, although there is a malfunction in your body that causes physical pain.

**Mary:** But that's the effect of ...

That's the effect of a cause which resides within your soul that's emotional and there is something going on emotional that you now have suppressed, intentionally suppressed, that creates the physical pain and if the physical pain becomes chronic and it becomes like part of your life, it is because you are willing to make the emotional suppression a part of your life of that particular emotion that causes the physical pain. In this discussion it's impossible to say what emotional suppression causes what disease because there's literally thousands of diseases on this planet, all of which, aches and pains and all sorts of problems which are caused by different suppression of different emotions and that is identical in each person. For example, if you, through the suppression of an emotion which is related to wanting to get approval from mothers and you feel a lot of anger with your mother but you want to suppress that and you want to, through addiction, get lovely feelings from women, you will probably get cancer in your right breast at some point in your life. Now there is a direct relationship of every person who has cancer in their right breast to that emotion.

**Mary:** Your right breast or your left breast?

Sorry your left breast; left breast because it's your mother. There is a direct relationship between everybody who has cancer in the left breast to that emotion. Every single woman who gets cancer in her left breast has that emotion, guaranteed. This is the beauty of the way God's done things. It's not based on your personality as to why you get a certain disease. It's not based on some kind of individuality that you get a certain disease. It's the direct result of the suppression of specific emotions that cause specific diseases and specific accidents even are caused by the same kind of suppressions. Once we understand this relationship we start not looking at "Oh what's this?" and "What's that?" We start acknowledging that we are in suppression which is essential. We first need to acknowledge we are suppressing our emotion. That's the reason why we've got this physical pain. This is why we've got the physical disease. This is why we've got the physical problem and running to some kind of medical solution to that while it may relieve the symptoms, it does not relieve the cause and therefore the symptoms are going to continue to be created. What we need to do instead is go back to the fact that we are suppressing an emotion and the pain in the location of the body is directly related to the suppression of the emotion that causes a physical problem of the flow of energy in that part of the body and we need to understand that. Once we start understanding that we give up the concept that suppression is the answer. We start going okay I'm just causing my own pain. I'm causing my own diseases. I'm now starting to take responsibility for the fact that it is my choice to suppress, and remember in "How the Human Soul Functions" we said that the choice to suppress was pushed upon us, usually by our environment.

We're not condemning a person for a choice to suppress, but we're saying you're willing to choose to maintain the suppression and that's what's causing this damage to your body. Stop that and the damage to your body will cease. That's the reality and that's the secret to dealing with all the pain and with regard to fear, well fear is a separate emotion all together. Fear is an emotion that is not even real in many cases. Often times we fear things that are not real. They have been real in our past but they are not real right now. For example, a woman who's been raped, who then starts having problems with her reproductive organs in terms of pains at different times, she won't necessarily be raped again but she is probably afraid of that thing and she is also afraid of feeling all of the feelings associated with her rape and that is what's causing her to now have pain. My suggestion to her would be allow herself to go through the feelings of rape. I know it's very, very difficult. I have been raped, you have been raped. We both know that it's very, very difficult to go through those emotions but you need to allow yourself to go through those emotions if you're ever going to be, free of pain.

**Mary:** Free of pain, or free of emotional pain?

Free of emotional pain; this is a very essential thing to do and allow yourself to do. What we'd recommend then is to start seeing fear as just a feeling. It is not the end of your life; it is not the end of your existence; it is not the end of all things. It is just an emotion that you need to allow yourself to fully feel. When you do that without judgement, you will feel it and then of course the fear of feeling emotions will dissipate and then of course you will start feeling the different emotions.

**Mary:** Yes. So when we're having difficulties enduring or coping with physical pain there are a number of things we need to work through. One is our resistance to just allowing ourselves to experience the pain.

Correct, because we shouldn't be enduring it we should just be allowing it.

**Mary:** Allowing it yes but it is that state of feeling we can't bear it or can't cope with it that causes us to seek out some other solution isn't it? That's the first issue and then there's this ...

So now we're working back, by the way.

**Mary:** Yes, we're going back.

So we're going backwards from our physical pain. Our physical pain is the long term effect of long term suppression, of long term fear of emotion.

**Mary:** Exactly, if I'm here today in a lot of physical pain the first step is to allow the feeling of the physical pain and not try to run from it.

Correct.

**Mary:** That, not so magically actually makes the pain reduce.

It does but it will return unless we are ready to feel the next step. Which is allow yourself to feel that you want to suppress an emotion, the feeling; "the desire to suppress."

**Mary:** It's the feeling; the desire of wanting to suppress that is actually the next step that we can take while we are still in the physical pain.

Correct.

**Mary:** We know intellectually that this is here, because I have a long term suppression of an emotional pain, from what you've just said and so now that I'm in the physical pain, I know intellectually where that's the cause. I might not know even the specific emotion that I'm suppressing but I know it comes from that, so obviously I'm going to need to work through my resistance to feeling and my desire to suppress and begin to feel that emotionally.

Yes and that's all about your beliefs about suppression. You think that suppression is going to work, when it doesn't work; you think that suppression is the way to use your soul. It's not the way to use your soul. The human soul doesn't function with suppression very well at all and so you need to understand a lot of the truths about suppression.

**Mary:** That's really where this preclusion concept that we also talked about comes in, isn't it while we have the belief inside of us that suppression works?

Then we're going to be precluded from taking any action against suppression.

**Mary:** We have to emotionally connect to that.

Correct.

**Mary:** Progress through emotionally.

Many of us need to connect to the emotion of I want suppression to work. Like there's this feeling of anger in us "I want suppression. I want to be able to suppress. Why doesn't it work, why doesn't it work? I want it to work," and we need to feel that anger that we have about the fact that no, we weren't created this way. We weren't created for suppression to actually work. We were created for it to not work, in fact, and once we get through that anger and resistance to suppression we then realise that suppression is a useless tool that we are attempting to use that has no positive affect whatsoever aside from causing more pain. Once we come to acknowledge that emotionally and we'll probably cry a fair bit to acknowledge that emotionally then it's highly likely we'll be willing to get to what is the actual individual emotion that causes pain in that location of my body. That might be anything; it depends on where the pain is in your body, from your head to your toe. There are different pains that could be caused by suppression of different emotions, that could be almost anything we could discuss there. But the key is to go through that process of firstly no longer trying to deny the pain and accepting it and feeling the pain itself and going into this next state where we realise it's all about suppression. Going through our resistance to wanting to continue suppressing, so we are resistant to not suppressing any more. We need to go through that emotion and then we realise the truths about suppression and how suppression is actually a damaging thing to us, a damaging thing to our soul. That's a wonderful state to get into once you realise that and then once you get beyond that you'll start looking at the resistance you have to that specific emotion that causes that specific pain. You can't skip over any of those states generally. If you've created the pain then you are going to have to un-create it through this process.

**Mary:** Yes and that's a great point that you make because I know a lot of people think I've just got to get to the causal emotion and then all this pain will disappear and I'm going to do it in the next ten minutes while I'm in the pain.

Highly unlikely.

**Mary:** It's really unlikely that you're going to be able to do that because you've suppressed for so long that you've generated pain.

Created pain: Yes so it's a chronic problem. If it gets to the state where you're feeling pain as a result of it, it's a very bad problem and I still have some very bad problems in my own body. Particularly in my lower back bowel region because of worth issues and it's been a chronic problem all my life. It was a problem when I was two years of age and its long term pains that you are trying to undo and it does take time to get to them. Many of them are emotions that we have heavy resistance with that we don't want to feel because they feel like they are just too hard to feel and we need to even work through that emotion. This is the beauty of having a relationship with God. We can eventually grow our faith that actually any emotion can be experienced as long as we have God with us helping us through the experience. Once we start getting to that state we are much more readily open to experiencing and being overwhelmed by our emotion in any direction. So that's basically the process we need to go through to address the pain and the fear of our pain. So hopefully that's helped Linda.

2. I feel emotionally blocked. Is it a matter of time before tears finally come?

**Mary:** This is a question from somebody else. I feel blocked. Is it terror blocking me? Is it a matter of time? If I keep on feeling anxiety and fear, more anxiety and fear, will tears finally come?

Well let's look at this matter of time thing first shall we because we need to dissect this question a little. No it's not a matter of time. It's a matter of will. So we often hear people saying "oh it's just time, extra time, I need more time and eventually it will come." And no, it's not a matter of time; it's a matter of your will. How you exercise your will. That determines what happens here. And while you may need time to develop your will, which is definitely true. You don't need to wait for some mysterious and magical moment, which will never occur actually, for you to feel into your emotions. And the tears will not finally come if you believe it's just a matter of time. What will happen is many years will pass and eventually you will pass and you'll still be waiting for the time for you to feel your emotions.

So my suggestion is to not do that. For a person who's struggling to feel their emotions, particularly if they know grief is there or any other emotion is there, the better course of action is to acknowledge that they do not wish to feel it and be honest with themselves that they are allowed to not wish to feel it. They are allowed to not take that opportunity that God's given them through the free will, the gift of free will, to not feel the emotion. They would also if they are honest with themselves, acknowledge that that's probably going to cause some problems in their future if they still retain that viewpoint and do they really have a desire to feel. Now most people if they are honest with themselves would have to, I would suggest, they would have to see eventually that they probably don't have a strong desire to feel the tears themselves, which are going to be painful, or the fears that cover their tears. The different things they are terrified of about feeling emotion and we have to develop our will somehow to get out of suppression and resistance to dealing with emotion itself.

So I would suggest to any person who feels blocked that you have a large suppression of a desire to deal with any emotion. And my suggestion to you first would be to feel about your emotional belief systems around why you believe suppression and resistance should be your cause of action and many times you will feel large amounts of anger and rage when you go through these kinds of emotions. Anger with God, anger with how God designed you and all these kind of things and eventually you will get to a point of surrendering to the fact that God designed you this way.

Now once you get to the point of surrendering to that. You now have the opportunity to examine the individual points of why you suppress and why you resist your emotion. Because that is the cause of blockages to all your emotions that are causal. And so the next layer then becomes examining your addictions. So you need to now say to yourself, "Okay, I am a master at blocking my emotions, so I must have a lot of addictions in play that help me keep my emotions suppressed." And now it's a matter of seeing those addictions in your day-to-day life and wanting to become aware of them, and again that is an exercise of your will.

While you resist seeing your addictions, you will never feel your emotions and you need to see that. There is a direct correlation between you wanting to retain your addictions and your inability to feel emotion. Because addictions are all about suppressing emotions and getting emotions that help you suppress other emotions, so you need to be honest about your addictions. So this requires self analysis. Some kind of self awareness. So that now is an exercise again of the will to go to the stage of wanting to see your addictions.

Now once you've exercised your will and wanting to see your addictions, you'll probably end up with a very long list of all of your addictions and physical pain in your body is an indication of all of your addictions. They are all the areas where you are suppressing the emotion associated with causal emotion. So now you are going through your addictions, you are looking at your addictions and you become aware through the process of focusing and feeling the addictions. Remember this is a feeling process, not an intellectual one. You will need to feel every addiction that you have. Every desire that you have to suppress something has to be felt. And then the reason for such a desire to suppress will be felt. Once you do that, you'll start getting into this state of feeling some of the fears associated with your addictions. Every fear you suppress creates an addiction. So every time you try to get away with feeling something because you are afraid, you will create an addiction to help you suppress the emotion that you need to feel.

Then you start feeling your fears and fears are all sets of emotional beliefs all created usually between the age of our conception and seven years of age. Usually all of our fears, emotional fears are firmly entrenched by the age of seven and we are going to need to go back in our memory, this will help us to access events in our life that caused us to believe that suppression is the way of life and resistance to feeling emotion is the way that we need to live and we need to feel them. We will need to feel those events. So we'll need to remember the events and allow ourselves to feel them. Now obviously this is going to take time. It's not going to happen overnight and it's going to take time as well in the sense that we are going to have to give it time. You see most people don't give it time. What they do is they go, "oh I've got this and I've got that and I've got this." But they still work forty hours a week, they still like the rest of the time go out, play soccer, do this, do that, watch television, do all these other things, mobile phone, TV, videos, all these different things and in the end they are left with maybe one hour a week to themselves to examine themselves. Now I suggest to you if you do this one hour a week, yes you are going to feel like ten years later you are still going to feel you have not accomplished much. Because it takes a lot of emotional focus to actually allow yourself to become conscious of what's really going on within you with regard to your emotions. And if you ever want to be at-one with God you have to do it. You have to do it to become at-one with God. You don't have to do it to have a semblance of a life, but you also need to do it if you ever want to have a purely happy life. You are going to have to do it at some point. And what do we find most people do at that stage is they go, "I don't want to do it now, I don't have the time now," but to be frank, you make the time to do it now because it's the most important thing. Because if you don't do it now, every aspect of your life is going to be the result of the suppression. Everything you do is going to be a complete result of what you are suppressing.

So I'd suggest to people, look stop thinking that suppression is your answer because it is not. It is not the way to happiness. You are never going to get complete happiness using suppression. What you are going to need to do is go through this gradual process which is going to require an extreme exercise of your will power to get down to the facts of your life and you are going to need to do this. With God's help and the help of your guides, you are going to need to do this for yourself and you are going to have to develop a desire for yourself to do it. No one else is responsible. There are people that can help you but none of the people who can really help you will ever take responsibility for you to do it, off of you to do it. And also, if they feel that you are not responsible, they won't help you. If they truly love you, they want you to see your personal responsibility to do it first. Now that means taking action of all kinds. Talking about your feelings and emotions, talking about your childhood, but also writing about it, reflecting upon it, spending this personal time so that you eventually get access to these emotions that you're suppressing and blocking.

This is the process that I suggest to anybody who is blocked. These are the actions you are going to have to take if you ever want to get beyond your blockages. And it is not a matter of time; it is a matter of how much you use your will and how much you are willing to spend time doing that. It's not just a matter of time magically that these things will occur, these things will only occur if you have a very definite exercise of your will in that direction. The only way I have ever personally progressed is by an extreme exercise of my own will.

**Mary:** Yes, if we go back to the question perhaps; it's hard to know because these questions have come to us from all over, over a long period of time so it's hard to know exactly what this person is meaning because it does contradict itself a little bit.

Certainly.

**Mary:** So if we go back over it. The first statement is, "I feel blocked" and then the next statement, or the next question is, "is it terror blocking me?" And you've just gone ...

It's a whole series of things blocking her.

**Mary:** Yes, you've gone through this.

Blocked is the final state and backwards from that state are belief systems, suppression, terror, fear but before fear addictions. So if we go backwards, there's the blocked state, the result and if we go back there is a whole series of things blocking you, not just terror.

**Mary:** Yes so addictions and false beliefs.

It's oversimplifying things to say it's just terror.

**Mary:** Yes and then the question sort of changes a little and says, "Is it a matter of time? If I keep feeling anxiety and fear, more anxiety and fear, will tears finally come?" And you've said it's definitely not about time, it's about will.

Yes, but then there's the second half of the question.

**Mary:** It's hard to know. Are they saying ... it contradicts itself. If we're blocked we're not feeling anxiety and fear for a start.

Probably not. However most people believe they are feeling anxiety or fear when all they are doing is living in anxiety and fear and I'd suggest that this person is living in anxiety and fear rather than feeling anxiety and fear. When you feel anxiety and fear as a causal emotion, it dissipates. It goes away. If you are living in anxiety and fear, it is with you every day, it never goes away, it goes on and on and on. So I would suggest this lady, I think it's a lady, is not feeling her anxiety and fear, she is living in her anxiety and fear.

**Mary:** And that's really important isn't it for people to come to understand this difference between living in an emotion, which is basically having a sensation of the emotion and then acting in every way to prevent that emotion overwhelming us.

Correct.

**Mary:** Which is very different from having a sensation of the emotion and allowing it to overwhelm us and going through it. Then we're feeling it and in the first case we're living in it and so if we are feeling oh I'm anxious and afraid but we're always acting to allay that then we can't really say we're feeling it and we will feel blocked.

Of course we'll be blocked. So we need to differentiate here of course between the feeling of an emotion, which is actually a relieving process and the suppression of the feeling of the emotion and living in it instead, which is the day-to-day living with the emotion. It's like day-to-day living with pain, it's the same thing. It's caused by suppression of the emotion. It's caused by not feeling the emotion. So when we day-to-day live in fear and we day-to-day are anxious, we are not releasing the emotion. So we are not experiencing it, we are taking actions to try and alleviate it. We are doing addictive things in our day-to-day life to attempt to alleviate the experience of it.

Now any sadness that we feel in that state is only rebellion. It's a rebellion against having to feel the emotion. So we have a cry that we feel anxious every day but that's not feeling why we feel anxious every day. So it requires far more exercise of our will power to get into why. And that requires far more self analysis than just going oh I'm blocked, is it because I'm terrified. The reality is, if you are truly analytical, in terms of not analytical intentionally but you're actually desiring to know, by now a person would know, if they desired to know what's causing their blockages they would know. God answers the questions of sincere individuals. So every person who's sincerely asking the question, and the question is, "Is it my terror that's causing my blockages?" God would already be answering that question and in most cases it's not terror that is causing the blockages, it's addictions that are causing the blockages and it's the terror or the lack of wanting to feel the terror that causes the addictions. So most of the time our blockages are directly caused by our desire to remain in addiction with the world. And this is something that many of us need to address.

**Mary:** An important distinction to recognise that many of us feel our experience of feeling emotions for a lot of us, just because we live in so much suppression has really just been a weak sensation of that feeling, when actually when we use our will in this way we are going to feel things in a much more overwhelming and intense way.

Exactly. So what I would suggest to such a person, there's quite a few videos we might suggest besides the human soul frequently asked questions is to actually perhaps watch the videos that we did in the assistance group in the USA in 2013 where we talked about addictions and how addictions cause us to suppress emotionally. It's great for them to watch that, those sections of videos. We're also started up this year a series of videos which we haven't completed yet, all about emotions and the essential things that we need to understand about emotions which we started down in Kentucky in NSW, and that was in February this year. So I would suggest that this person finds those two sets of videos, it's quite a lot of material there, and actually looks through and sincerely ask themselves, what do they think is the cause of their own blockages. We need to take responsibility for the fact that we create our own blockages.

**Mary:** Yes and that this beautiful thing that you said in the beginning, it's not a matter of time, it's a matter of will. And a lot of us go on just waiting for things to get so bad that suddenly we deal or we have magical thinking that somehow it's just going to magically pop out of us when really you're saying it's very much about how we exercise our will and coming to grips with that, that we're responsible for that is a big issue.

Yes most of us want a magical solution. We do. If we are honest with ourselves, the majority of us want a magical solution. We don't want to have to exercise our will to feel an emotion in order to cure ourselves. We want Jesus to come along and cure us. That's what we want and it doesn't work that way. The very first thing I had to do myself in the first century is learn how to cure myself through this process of understanding my own soul and how God created it to function and then working through the layers of really resistance that I might have had to that functioning. And I had to get myself through that state to actually understand and get into a state where God's Love could flow through me and then help cure other people. But even then, I couldn't cure other people indiscriminately. I could only cure them if they had the same attitude of wanting to find the underlying reason for why they created what was the cause within them for their own illnesses and diseases. So you've got to be very careful with what you presume here.

Everybody seems to want a magical solution to addressing things like blockages and why they are emotionally blocked and so forth but the real solution is being sincere and pure in your desire to come to God's Love and therefore work through any resistance within you that causes you to be out of harmony with that. That is what is going to cure every problem and if that's not happening, if you're blocked from that happening, it's because no sincere desire really exists yet and we need to understand that. And work through the reasons why no desire exists. Work through, find the reason. Be sincere about that instead of just hoping that some magical solution with some magical answer and some magical person will come along and do it all for you. Because that is not going to happen here, or in the spirit world.

Now you will have many helpers but all they can do is work with your desire. They can only work with your will. They can't force you into feeling some emotion that you don't want to feel. And God will not force you into feeling emotion you do not want to feel and unless you are ready to feel the emotion that you don't want to feel you are going to remain blocked. So somebody is going to have to exercise their will here and the only person who has control of your soul is you and so it's going to be your will that has to be exercised to change.

**Mary:** Yes and it's such an important thing that God wants us to learn. And it's really about becoming the full expression of our personality isn't it? Embracing our will and understanding it and using it and coming to love that it is ours and that we can make choices.

And understanding that everything that is happening to me is the expression of my own will in some way. I need to go and see that and take responsibility for that rather than trying to think that somebody else will come along and rescue me from having to go through those particular things. It is not loving for someone to rescue you from what is your intention. Even if your intention is exercised in a direction that causes your own pain. It's still not loving for somebody to rescue you from that. It's loving for someone to try to assist you to see the need to change, but it's not loving for somebody to come along and just change you without your will being involved. So we all need to exercise our will more positively if we ever want to find our blockages and work through our emotions properly. And like I said, I've had to exercise an extreme amount of will power to get to some of my emotions and to be honest, I've yet to exercise enough will power to get to some of them and this is why I'm still not in that pure condition again. And so you know it does take a lot of effort, a lot of time and a lot of sincere desire to be developed before you can actually get to that state.

**Mary:** Yes and I suppose I have the privileged of living with you and seeing how dedicated you are to that process and I often feel that a lot of people have this expectation of you to be perfect as Jesus or that you're somehow special or it's somehow easier for you or that somehow the rules don't apply or that just cause your Jesus God loves you better and so it's easier.

And that's not the case at all. In fact I face many more extreme emotions than the average person faces along with two thousand years of memory that I've got to process and so it's often very very difficult to go through different processes for me emotionally but I exercise my will to do so.

**Mary:** And that's what I see, that you take it seriously, you practice very firmly what you preach. If you are aware of something within yourself you don't make excuses for that. You don't try to avoid that or if you do you're honest about that also. But certainly when there are issues affecting your love of others you take that extremely seriously, immediately.

Even my love of environment and animals and birds and other creatures I take very seriously.

**Mary:** Yes and so I am witness to how much will is required and I am still growing that desire to have my will developed that much that it becomes my number one priority in every moment to grow in this way and to honour the principles of how the soul functions really.

Yes the way I see it for my personal life is that I feel the primary reason why I came here was to demonstrate from this condition of sin or the condition of emotional error if we can call it that. A condition of emotions out of harmony with Love, what I wanted to demonstrate how to get from that condition to get back into at-onement with God. So I sort of see it almost as my work if you like. So it's my primary job. Not that I see it as such. But it's sort of like I do see it partly like that because it feels to me like what's the point of coming here and going through this experience again and losing a lot of the things I had before then to come here if I'm not going to come here for the purpose I came here. So I'm very focused, this is something the earth needs to know about, it will solve so much of the earth's problems if people understood how to do it and they need someone to show them how to do it. And that's why I want to do it. That's one of the reasons and it's not my primary reason but it's one of the reasons. As an act of love towards others to show them what to do. And what I'm suggesting to all of the people listening to this question is that you are going to have to develop an extreme amount of will to progress in the manner that I am trying to demonstrate to you if you want to progress in the world as it is today. And in many years to come that might not be the case. Lots of people may change and lots of people may be around you demonstrating how to change and it might be much easier, but at the moment in 2014 there's going to be a large amount of the exercise of your will power to actually go through this process and you're going to need to give yourself time and love yourself through this process if you are ever going to do it.

**Mary:** But by doing that, that becomes a very beautiful part of your soul that you've developed and that will, developed under what are at times ...

Extreme duress shall we call it.

**Mary:** Opposition. That becomes, in a way you are developing things that many people who have been in the spirit world a long time, in sometimes better conditions if you like, have not developed it in the same way have they?

Correct.

**Mary:** I feel passionately about the beauty of developing one's will and faith ...

On earth.

**Mary:** On earth because it does you so well for the rest of your life.

Yes, we have experienced the joys of the two thousand years that we had in the spirit world primarily because of the exercise of our will on earth. We had to do it under extreme conditions and when you have to do it under extreme conditions, you honour it. And unfortunately there are many people on earth and in the spirit world that do not honour the exercise of their will nor do they take responsibility for it. And that is one of the main problems that causes them to not progress.

So these are some of the blockages, the resistances that people have towards progression. And I feel that it's very important to understand that blockages are self caused. They are not caused by your environment and this is where we need to take responsibility for all of the blockages that we have. It doesn't mean that we need to punish ourselves for them. We just need to take responsibility for them. We need to see that it is the direct result of our own action that blockages are occurring.

**Mary:** And until we do we won't take full responsibility for the changing of that block.

Correct. We'll wait for some magical cure.

**Mary:** Exactly. We feel that the fault is outside of ourselves and so the alleviation of it should come from outside and when we recognise that no, this block is in me because of choices I'm making, I've chosen to be blocked on this issue, then we realise that we can make a different choice don't we.

Exactly. So it's such an essential thing, and what I'd encourage people to do who feel blocked is to take more self responsibility and take more action to helping their own soul unblock because they in the end are completely responsible for the development of their own soul. Other people can assist them and help them but unless they are prepared to go through a process where they are willing to open up to reasons why they are suppressing, work through all of their addictions, work through all of their fears and eventually get down to the grief that causes a lot of their suffering, they will not grow and they will not change and they will always remain blocked. And it doesn't matter how much time goes past, you can remain blocked for many thousands of years, and we have observed many people remain blocked for thousands of years. We have friends who were with us in the first century, in the first century life that we had and they are still in the hells of the spirit world today because they chose to exercise their will in an unloving manner towards themselves and others and remain blocked to the truth and so, you can't say enough about exercising your will in a different direction to that.

3. I often know the emotion I must feel, but how do I feel it?

Firstly, this statement that you often intellectually know the underlying causal emotion is, to me, intellectual tomfoolery that we play with ourselves. Most of the time you don't know to be honest and it's only when you actually feel an emotion that you know what its cause is. Any person who believes they intellectually know what their emotions are but they are not feeling them, it's highly unlikely that they actually do intellectually know what their emotions are. Even if they do intellectually know what their emotions are that will not necessarily help them to feel it. You might as well give up the whole process of trying to intellectually know anything and even stop telling yourself that you intellectually know things.

Everything your mind processes comes from your soul anyway and if your soul hasn't released a specific emotion yet, then you don't know it, either at your soul level or intellectually. It's pointless telling yourself that you do. Often we want to tell ourselves that we do because we are addicted to the concept that we know and in fact we use knowledge as a way of allaying fear. We try to tell ourselves, "Oh I don't have to be so afraid of that now that I know something about it." That's where our problems all start and in fact the whole reason why we are not feeling underlying causal emotions, as we've already explained in other FAQ's on this emotional subject, is generally because we are either in denial, we are in addiction or we are terrified. We're afraid. It's usually one of those three reasons. Obviously we need to go down through those particular processes and if a person looks at, I think it was the previous FAQ I answered, in this session, they will have the answer of how to go down through all of those emotions. I feel in this person's case they need to firstly stop telling themselves that they intellectually know things. You don't know anything until you process through it emotionally. Until then you're just regurgitating memories, or you could say words that have been spoken to you. You don't really know much more than that at that point.

**Mary:** It can even just be a theoretical idea can't it, of I feel like, or I think it's probably this because of these factors but there's been no feeling involved in establishing that theory really.

Of course and also the problem with trying to do this, the problem with intellectually knowing something causes you to try to access an emotion that often is not present or often has layers of other emotions on top of it that you first need to feel. For example a lot of people have a lot of rage which they don't wish to acknowledge. They feel embarrassed about acknowledging it or they feel that they shouldn't have it or lots of other judgements about the anger that they have within them so what they do is they tell themselves they don't have any anger. The same applies with many of their addictions. Most people have huge amounts of addictions in play in their day-to-day life all suppressing certain fears and certain grief. But what they tell themselves is they don't have those addictions. It's not an addiction that caused them to do this today or yesterday or caused them to eat this food or caused them to go and do this thing with another person. They tell themselves it was a pure desire. They are always trying to feed intellectually, always trying to feed themselves validation of why their soul wishes to hang on to its suppression and its resistance.

The problem with any intellectual processing is that it's tainted with a lack of logic most of the time until you process through the emotion and while it's tainted with a lack of logic, you can guess that you have certain causal emotions or you can assume that because certain events happened to you you must have certain emotions but that doesn't help you actually get into the emotions. What's going to help you is to be far more honest about the suppression and the resistance that you have and then allow yourself to go through the rage first, the anger that you have which comes from your addictions not getting met, down into your addictions, the expectations and demands that you have that you would like to have met and then through them into the actual fears that you actually have that often suppress the grief. So what we need to do is go through that particular process.

The average person doesn't want to go through that process, in most woman's cases, they would like to go from where they are now right to the grief and skip the fact that they are angry and skip the fact that they've got addictions and definitely for most woman skip the fact that they have fear. They want to have no fear, but they have lots of fear, lots of terror to feel and most women don't want to feel that. In the case of men, often times they will allow themselves to experience some anger cause it's a bit more socially acceptable for a man to express anger and so usually men are in less denial of their anger but fear is a very weak place for most men to go to. They don't feel that they can go there. For most men sadness is the worst possible place for them to go so of course they don't really want to go there. Most men cycle between the stages of anger and addiction and most woman cycle between the stages of suppression of anger and addiction. Unfortunately that means that the majority of people do not know emotionally or intellectually what really is the causal emotion that they need to express in order to release themselves from their current condition.

The only way you are going to know is by going down through that process and most of us want to skip that process and so most of us guess, using our intellect and our guesses are often very wrong. We often receive emails, where people say, "Oh, I feel this is about a low sense of worth," and we're saying it's not about a low sense of worth at all. In fact you believe, that you arrogantly think that you're better than other people. So you know there are so many things that people say to us from an intellectual concept about what they think it is and you can feel from them that it's totally different from what they're saying.

**Mary:** Even sometimes if that might be the causal emotion that resides within them there is still the issue that in avoidance of that, in their addiction, they behave very arrogantly and if they try to skip to feeling the low sense of worth, that may or may not be there, without first dealing with their unloving and addictive behaviour in arrogance, then it's not going to work is it?

No. They've got to see things, and they've got to go through the seeing of things in order for it to be a sincere process. You can't expect to just jump to an emotion that you would like it to be and what we find is that most people would like their emotions to be a certain way and their true emotions are very very different to what they would like their emotions to be. If you are truly honest with this process you are most of the time going to be quite surprised when you get to the actual causal emotion as to what it really was or what it really is. The reason why that is the case is because your soul, up until that time is in suppression or denial or resistance to processing that particular emotion and so everything coming into your mind, unless it's a thought dropped to you from your spirit friends or somebody else, someone outside of you, everything coming into your mind that's from your own thoughts and your own feelings is going to be tainted with your resistance and suppression. It's going to be an excuse to suppress you from other things and this is why most people who say that they know what their causal emotion is but they're not feeling it, they don't even know what their causal emotion is most of the time. This is the reason why they are not feeling it because they don't know what it is. If they knew what it is and they were allowing the experience of it they would probably get there.

The second part of the question is, if you do actually know what your causal emotion is, which is possible, intellectually sort of have a good idea of what it actually might be and you're not experiencing the emotion then obviously we need to look at the first three things, anger, addiction and fear. It's got to be one of those three things blocking the flow of that emotion and this is where most people really struggle. They don't want to acknowledge they're angry; they don't want to acknowledge they are afraid and most of the time they like their addictions because their addictions give them everything they want and they want to keep them. For that reason the majority of people even if they do come to know intellectually what their causal emotion is probably won't process it unless they go through the processing of the resistive emotions and the suppressive emotions which are all related to anger, addictions and fear. This is where we need to allow ourselves to go and because anger, addictions and fear are generally unpleasant to acknowledge within us, a lot of them feel quite sleazy, in terms of emotionally, so they feel quite shameful to experience, we often don't want to go there either and this is why we become blocked. My suggestion to a person in this kind of situation is to first stop trying to use their intellect to find what the emotion is and instead use their intellect to find what the block is. What's going on, what anger is in them, what addictions are in them and what fears they have and start to acknowledge those particular emotions? Unless they acknowledge those emotions and go through the process of feeling those emotions and through the exercise of their will, desire to feel those emotions, they will never get to know what their causal emotions are.

**Mary:** So you're saying if we're not feeling our causal emotions we could be guessing wrong?

Most likely we're guessing wrong I'm saying. If on the off chance that we're not, we're still not going through our fear, our anger, and our addictions.

**Mary:** Because once we do that our causal emotion will flow from us naturally.

Easily, like a child. Once you go through and release the blockages from you, the causal emotion just flows out of you, without even any need to access it intellectually. When a situation comes up and because you are humble to your emotion now and you're humble to what the experience is and you don't worry so much about what everybody thinks of you, you just go straight into your emotion. You don't have to think about it and you don't have to worry about it, you don't have to work it all out or any of those kinds of things and if you have to do all of those things, you are in a lot of fear. In fact you are doing those things to avoid the feeling of your fears and you are doing those things to avoid the work needed to be done in fear, addiction and anger which are the main reasons why you block any emotion that is causal.

4. Can darker emotions cause us to take impure actions?

Yes always. You're darker emotions will cause you to take actions that are not pure all the time. It's not a can; it's yes it will always happen. The reason why is because the soul is dominant. This is the principle of dominance. When we talk about how the human soul functions, whatever is in the soul emotionally will dominate our every day existence. If we have darker emotions in our soul, emotions where we would like to harm people and emotions of rage and anger or emotions of rebellion which cause us to get into trouble a lot, or emotions driven by fears that we're trying to allay by using addictions. All of those types of emotions will definitely dominate. Therefore every single day they will dominate you. You can think you're suppressing them but your actions and your words and your behaviour will be driven by them and it will only be a supreme exercise of will that prevents you from acting them out and you won't be able to do it all the time. When you are put under strain or under pressure you will revert back to the dominance of the soul. The soul and its emotions will dominate every single moment of your existence. If your soul is full of dark emotions they are going to dominate every day of your existence unless you exercise a supreme control of your will, and even then, given certain circumstances, you'll revert back to your old behaviour. You need to give up the concept that you can somehow bury your dark emotions and they have no effect on your life because it's not true. They have an effect on your day-to-day life. Every single moment of the day.

**Mary:** And isn't it true that the more we suppress emotions our darker emotions, the more they dominate what we do.

Correct. This is why a lot of religious faiths have this feeling of guilt. They teach you that you should do these commandments and every single person at some point can't do these commandments because of the dominance of their soul and so they go ahead and break one of the commandments and then of course there's huge amounts of guilt associated with the breaking of one of the commandments and so then you punish yourself for the breaking of the commandment but that doesn't change anything either. Because your soul is dominant you can punish yourself as much as you want but you'll still go ahead and do it the next time and this is why a lot of religious faiths for example have this issue with masturbation, particularly Christian religious faiths. They are saying that the man, and usually it's referred to as a male that's got a problem with it, needs to get it under control. This habitual masturbation is bad for him and all these kinds of things. They don't have any real reason why this is the case of course but they do feel that it's somehow immoral and what they do is they feel he has got to get control of himself. He has got to control the fact that he wants to do this. The problem with that kind of reasoning is that it causes a person to believe that eventually they can control their soul with their mind and they can't. Sooner or later they will relapse to their old behaviour and then of course - because they're being told that it's all about control they then feel guilty that they can't control it. They would be far better off trying to find the causal emotional reason why they lapse into such behaviour. Habitual masturbation, for example, is driven by a large amount of sadness about intimacy and sadness in a relationship with the opposite sex. So what the person would need to do is feel some of that sadness. When they feel some of that sadness the feeling will dissipate and then they'll feel less drawn to habitual masturbation and masturbation would just be more of a sexual enjoyment rather than something that's habitual driven by a need or an addiction of some kind. I'm not saying in this discussion obviously that masturbation is wrong, because the reality is that if you're not allowed to touch yourself then I'd suggest that nobody is.

**Mary:** Nobody else is able to either.

That's right. Why should somebody else be able to touch you when you can't? But the reality though is that there are many people who are addicted to it in order to avoid some of these emotions and they would be far better off finding the emotion than they would be trying to control the habit using their intellect. Once you deal with the emotion and you release it, you're not driven by the emotion anymore and so now you have full control of your choices and decisions.

**Mary:** So if we use that example you are speaking of, sadness, a sadness of intimacy for example can drive the habit of masturbation, habitual masturbation if you like.

Yes, but can I make it even plainer? Even if the man is in a relationship, the majority of woman do not give their hearts or give themselves sexually in a relationship. As a result the man feels quite sad about this. He's sad that he's not feeling the flow of sexual feelings from the woman to himself. As a result he is going to be driven to masturbation if he does not feel the sadness that he feels about that. Now when he doesn't feel the sadness of that, he will feel like he has to masturbate in order to feel at least some kind of pleasure and sort of a feeling that something or somebody wants him kind of feeling, even if it's he himself. And this is what drives his habit. Now in a relationship, if this man's in a relationship, there are quite a few things he needs to address. Firstly he needs to address the woman's reluctance to share her heart or her sexual feelings with him. He also needs to address the fact that he needs that to survive. So he needs to feel about why he needs that to survive. What sadness in him causes him to need that to survive? They are the causal emotions that he actually needs to access. He might be afraid of addressing those things with the woman. He might be afraid of the woman and upsetting her and she goes completely and then he has no sex at all. He might be afraid of a number of different things that cause him to feel that masturbation is the way out of the situation rather than discussion with his girl in the case of what we're suggesting here with his partner. He needs to work his way through those emotional issues. Now it's the denial of those emotional issues that create the habit, the addiction and we need to understand that. It's the denial of it and it's not because somebody has lost control. They have no control because they are driven by their addiction and pretty much all of our addictions are emotional and then we have a few physical ones. Most people think it's the other way around but it's not. So you have a few physical addictions all driven by these large numbers of emotional addictions that once you work your way through, you no longer have the physical addiction either. They automatically dissipate.

**Mary:** So clarifying what you're saying, the question was can our darker emotions cause us to take actions that are not pure. It sounds like it's the suppression of our darker emotions that actually drive us to take actions that are not pure and when we allow our darker emotions we no longer feel driven to avoid them.

I suppose it depends on how you allow them. If you allow them from the point of view of experiencing them within yourself without taking them out on anyone else, then yes they haven't caused you to cause any problems for anybody else and there will be a release inside of you. But the majority of people don't do that. What the majority of people do is they suppress them or they allow them to actually have full reign over how they treat other people. Now of course that's going to even further darken the soul and that is suppression and resistance to those dark emotions. So when I say dark emotions will always cause you to do dark things, that is always true because of the dominance of the soul. You will always do dark things if you have dark emotions inside of you. If you suppress them you will even do worse things.

Now you have a choice. Do you suppress and resist or do you feel them. The majority of people choose to not feel them because they feel painful to feel and what they choose to do is to try to suppress them and resist them. In trying to suppress them and resist them generally you will do even darker things. This is how people who believe in love murder other people. This is how women who believe in love, kill an unborn child. This is how, it's all done through the darker emotions that exist within the soul, generating within the person thoughts that justify their behaviour. The darker emotions will always finish up doing that. They will always generate thoughts that finish up justifying more unloving behaviour and you can't avoid that because the soul is dominant. What you can do is you can work on that happening. Why does that happen? You can get to the soul based emotional reason as to why it's happening and release it and then you can change. But a force of will is not going to change you. You have to use extreme will and even then put yourself in a difficult situation, you will do what the dark emotions dictate. So for example, a woman who normally believes that she loves children becomes pregnant from a one night stand with a man that she hates and that somehow she got into a sexual interaction with and now she's pregnant. What does she do? Well most of the time that woman wouldn't hesitate to take a morning after pill if it was available to her or further than that, if she does become pregnant, abort the child. Now in that way, the woman has become a murderess but she's willing to justify the murder by saying, "Oh but I don't want the child and it's not good to bring the child into the world. The child will be happier in the spirit world; in the afterlife it will be happier without me." Or they believe that the child hasn't even incarnated yet. It's not a child yet until it's born. There are all sorts of justifications we make, all of which internally, most of the time are false but we take them because the dark emotion generates those thoughts. So the dark emotion will always - always dominate in the end. Given the situation it will always exert its power and this is what we need to do. We need to start looking at those dark emotions and let them go emotionally. We need to process them experience them; feel them so that they release from us. Now there is no opportunity for them to control because they are no longer in us.

**Mary:** It's funny isn't it because almost everyone on the planet is trying to hide their darker emotions. A lot of times for fear of what they might do if they acknowledge those emotions. And yet from what you're saying the more they suppress, the more dominant or the more driven everyone is to keep them suppressed and they justify more and more acts that are impure.

Yes, they eventually do take actions or they have to do the other thing which is completely suppressing everything in their soul. Which is very damaging to themselves. Eventually they do one of those two things. If the dark emotion exists in the soul and you never release it you carry it around like a burden. Sooner or later in a situation that will come up and dominate, or if you're very very very good at suppression, which most people on the earth are fairly good at because we've had lots of training. We had training from the moment we were conceived, right the way through our entire childhood right the way through to our adulthood. We've had training about how to suppress and society is great at enforcing suppression. Because of that we go right I'm going to suppress this. Like I feel like cheating on my husband but I'm going to suppress it. And then we come up with all these concepts and ideas, 'Oh it doesn't matter where you get your sexual desires from, as long as you go home and have sex with your husband." It's okay if you watch a bit of porn, it's okay if you watch that guy walk down the street as long as you go home and have sex with your husband that's all fine. There are all these justifications but you see this is the darkness of the soul dominating and the soul uses it's intellect to try and justify the souls condition. This is always going to happen and then what you do is suppress that or attempt to. Try try hard, you pray to God saying help me overcome this evil desire and all these kinds of things. And God's saying well the only way you are going to overcome this evil desire is to feel this evil desire and its cause. Why do you feel like doing that? Then you will trace that back to some childhood event and so forth and once those things are released you'll never feel like that again. It's fantastic knowing that because you can be confident that anything that might be judged by yourself as evil inside of yourself can always be changed as long as you find the causal emotion that causes it and this is the only action we can take with our so called dark emotions.

**Mary:** Great. Thank you.

5. Why do we wish to ignore our dark emotions?

Because we believe that ignoring them will make them go away which is - as you can see from our previous FAQ - that's not the case. Our dark emotions never go away if we ignore them, but there is this common viewpoint amongst human kind that if you ignore something it will go away and sometimes it does work with regard to people; if you ignore them long enough sometimes they do go away. But when it comes to our emotions it never occurs that way; if we ignore them they will continue to grow generally and they will continue to manipulate and control our behaviour.

And so I feel the reality is, ignoring dark emotions is a very dangerous thing to do and it is in fact the ignorance of dark emotions which causes us then to actually take dark actions. So if you are not ignorant of your dark emotions, in other words if you can see them and you know what they are, then every time you feel one of them you'll go, "oh, I've got to be careful now. I've got to be careful what I'm going to do here now." You have a tendency to be able to police yourself to a degree. But if you ignore your dark emotions you won't even sometimes, and most times, be aware of them and your thoughts will be more along the line of justifying their existence. So you will say to yourself things like, "oh I feel like killing that person and no wonder, look at the person".

You won't even see that that's a dark emotion within yourself caused by something within yourself; you'll think it's caused by somebody outside of you; you will think it's somebody else's fault that you feel this way: and that's a very dangerous thing to do because when you start blaming other people or thinking it's somebody else's fault that you feel certain things, you are not taking personal responsibility for your own emotions and once that happens it's a very short distance between that and actually taking action on your dark emotions.

And it's very, very dangerous on a lot of levels: for your soul in particular but also for the soul of others; every single person that you damage with acting out your dark emotions is another person that feels pain as a result of your actions and they then have to go through their own experience of having to release their emotions about what you did and that just puts terrible burdens on other people. So not only are you harming yourself but you are also harming all of the people that you've now interacted with using these dark emotions in your interactions.

**Mary:** So you said at the beginning we want to ignore the dark emotions because we are hoping they'll go away and is that just because they feel unpleasant to feel or is it because we have other issues of shame and judgement.

Yes, of course, we want them to go away for like a hundred reasons: some of them are that we feel that we're not a very good person if we have them, so we feel terrible feelings of guilt and shame about having these dark feelings and emotions inside of us; or it could be just we're afraid - that we're not that afraid of having the dark feelings inside of us - we're just concerned that other people might see it; that other people might think that it's terrible.

We have all sorts of judgements and we also take on society's judgements of some emotions and so if they think this is bad then we think it's bad, if they think it's good we think it's good. And some of the things society thinks are good are actually dark emotions unfortunately and so we'll often be distorted in our reasoning when it comes to what is a dark emotion from God's perspective and what I'd classify as an evil emotion from God's perspective and what is a good or loving emotion from God's perspective - we often have huge distortions about that. So we have a lot of judgement about what is good and bad.

So for example a person who has homosexual feelings who has been brought up in a Christian household believes that their homosexual feelings are evil or bad or dark but the reality is God created these kinds of feelings and so the reality is from God's perspective they are okay, there's nothing wrong with them, but because the environment of the child is that they believed that it was dark, now the child believes that it is dark. So we have a lot of distortions about what is good, what is evil.

Anything obviously from God's perspective that is unloving is usually driven by an evil or a dark emotion and I'll use the term evil purposefully because all evil that has ever been created, which is the damage of other people through the exercise of your will, has all been created because of some dark emotion that's been suppressed inside the individual and hasn't been allowed to be felt. So we're better off feeling them than we are acting upon them and it's a very, very different state to feel them than act upon them.

**Mary:** So this habit that everyone is in, or this deep desire that everyone has to ignore these darker emotions that are inside of us, seems to be a huge stumbling block to society as a whole and a kind of global or societal issue that as children we're not taught to feel our dark emotions, rather to deny them.

Yes, we are taught to suppress them; we're taught to deny them; we're taught to judge them; we're taught to try to make them go away. There are some parents of course who do the opposite, who actually teach their children to act upon dark emotions because they themselves do that. It just depends on our upbringing as to what we're taught but the average person on the planet has some semblance of conscience and therefore some semblance of internal gauge as to what is good and what is not.

Often it's heavily distorted of course but as a result, anything that the average person sees as not good, generally there's a lot of judgement on the planet about. So if the average person on earth is challenged by homosexuality, they believe that homosexuality is bad. It's got nothing to do with what God thinks about the issue. It's got everything to do with what people generally in society feel about the issue and this is the unfortunate thing. We judge a lot of what are good and decent emotions from God's perspective as bad and then we judge a lot of what are quite evil emotions as good and then we judge a lot of stuff that is bad as really, really, really bad and all of it we try to suppress.

And so of course we're confused and of course we don't know what we're doing most of the time during the day and of course we're going to act, through the dominance of our soul that's been suppressed and resisted and so this is why we end up taking a lot of very dark actions and even as a society we end up taking dark actions.

You know we're willing to go to war as an entire nation - which is an act of the entire nation really - justified by a dark emotion and all of these justifications come from these dark emotions and so it is imperative if we ever want to become at-one with God and if we ever want to become loving, it's imperative to release these dark emotions from us so they no longer govern our life.

**Mary:** And the first step in doing that is to presumably stop ignoring that they are there.

Correct, you've got to stop denial, stop suppression, stop saying to yourself I don't have any; because if you didn't have any and everybody in the world didn't have any then there wouldn't be any problems in the world; we'd all be in loving interactions with each other and everyone would be happy. So the reality is, we have them and even in a standard relationship or a standard family there are plenty of dark emotions, you can just see them so start dealing with them, start acknowledging that they are there.

I once said to somebody that all our dark emotions are like... and I used the term shit, in the middle of the room, like a pile of it in the middle of the room, a pile of poo in the middle of the room that's all smelly. Everybody knows it's there and everyone walks around saying it's not there and that nothing smells. Unfortunately that's how we treat our dark emotions most of the time. We're going around saying that's not there, nothing smells, nothing smells when it stinks to high heaven and it's created lots of problems in our lives and it creates lots of problems still in our lives and yet we're still going around saying, "no, no it's not there, not there, it doesn't stink, doesn't stink".

It's just crazy and sometimes I feel it's just amazing how firm we are about our denial: like things have to get pretty bad sometimes before we go, "oh maybe that's the reason why, that dark emotion might be the reason why I felt that way".

You often see violence in a household - whether it's towards children or between partners - that's all driven by dark emotion. You often see people lying and stealing and cheating and all sorts - that's all driven by dark emotion. They are all emotions that we can get rid of, they are all emotions that are not a part of our soul that we can let them go, but they are in our soul and while they are in our soul, they will dictate through dominance, they will dictate the rest of our life until we release them.

6. I feel I am not receiving God's Love. Why is this? Where do I start?

**Mary:** Okay, the next person has written us a little paragraph with a number of questions in it.

Okay, as we often have.

**Mary:** Yes, So I'll read it all to you and we can go back to different parts of it if you would like.

Sure.

**Mary:** So they say, "I understand that God's Love is supposed to be able to enter us as we progress but I suspect I'm a long way off from this. Does it really take a long time for some of us and do we just need to be patient? Are there some signs that can show us that we're just not getting it? I feel like I'm just not getting some really basic stuff. I'm really struggling with allowing myself to feel these emotions in the first place and scared that they will never end. Where do I start?"

Yes well there are quite a lot of things in this question aren't there so let's have a look at some of them; if you read the first couple of sentences first again we will just go through what's effecting this person again, I feel it's a lady.

**Mary:** Yes.

We'll talk about what's affecting her.

**Mary:** Okay, "I understand that God's Love is supposed to be able to enter us as we progress but I suspect I'm a long way off from this".

It's interesting terminology sometimes, the terminology people use and how it actually influences their emotions without them really understanding the influence. So this lady is basically saying that she understands something that she doesn't understand yet and what she says she understands is that God's Love is supposed to enter us as we progress. No, God's Love isn't supposed to enter you as you progress. The reality is you can progress without any of God's Love entering you. So God's Love isn't supposed to enter you as you progress and God's Love will enter you when you have a pure, sincere longing for that love to enter you. Of course, then you'll progress but of course the problem is developing a pure sincere longing for God's Love to enter you.

The other thing she's saying is that it's supposed to, she doesn't believe it does, she just has been told that it's supposed to or she thinks she's been told that it's supposed to, which I've never done because I've never said that it's supposed to enter you as you progress because I've only ever said that it enters you when you have a sincere pure longing for it to enter you. So the whole concept that it's supposed to, comes from this feeling that she has that she doesn't really believe in God's Love in the first place: so there's one major block to receiving God's Love.

If a person doesn't have faith that God's Love exists within God to give to them and doesn't have faith that they can long for God's Love to enter them, then what happens is that they will probably not long for God's Love; whether they progress or not, they will not long for God's Love. So the entering of God's Love is dependent upon a sincere longing for that love to enter and if you don't have that longing, God's Love will not enter no matter how much you emotionally progress. By the way, your emotional progress will be slower as well because you'll have to change absolutely everything within your soul causally, one by one, whereas God's Love as it comes can help you start to address causal emotions by softening you to them. So God's Love can help you immensely in feeling causal emotion, but if you don't have any faith that God's Love can enter you, then of course, God's Love cannot enter you. It's quite that simple. So that's one aspect of her question. So let's look at the next sentence.

**Mary:** Okay, "Does it just take a really long time for some of us and we just need to be patient?"

So here's another problem: this concept - and I think we've raised this concept a number of times in other FAQ's - this concept that you just need to be patient and sooner or later something magical will happen and you'll make some kind of transition and then everything will work smoothly and wonderfully is actually untrue. The only way in which anything changes inside of the soul is by the soul's will being exercised for the change to occur. So there is not some magical process or some patience that you need to have about the soul changing, you need to find what's going on inside of your soul that's resisting the change and have a desire to do such a thing, you need to have a desire to allow such changes to occur and unless the soul's will is exercised in that direction you will not change.

And it doesn't matter how patient you are, you won't change for a long time, if at all. So this is something we need to also mention but we must say that you need to have patience with yourself, which is different than having patience about the process of change. When I say patience with yourself, there are some times when you just don't get things and there are some times when you need more diligent effort to get it. It's sort of like a person if they go to a university course and they start studying, let's say high level mathematics, the average person would struggle and they would need to have patience with themselves while still maintaining a desire to learn.

**Mary:** And using their will presumably to engage with learning.

Correct, now that's different from having the patience of just sitting there and going, "I'm not going to do anything and I'm just going to wait for some magical thing that maybe God or someone else will bring to me so that I can finish up progressing". That's completely different: so one state is, I take full responsibility for my lack of progression, that is a person who takes responsibility for the use of their will; but I also need to be patient with myself in that state which is very different than having patience waiting for some other thing to occur outside of myself before I change. Of course anything that occurs outside of yourself can help you change but if you're resistive to change, it's not going to help you. You have to develop the qualities of humility, the quality of desire for change, a sincere and pure longing has to be developed that comes from within your soul to change, just like a sincere pure longing has to come from within your soul to connect to God's Love - and that's not going to magically occur, it is something that you're going to have to develop with the exercise of your will.

**Mary:** Yes, Okay, will we keep going?

Yes.

**Mary:** "Are there some signs that can show us that we are just not getting it?"

Yes, plenty of signs: in fact, you know what this lady has said in this particular comment is a sign that she's not getting the underlying principles of how the soul works. You see - and instead of being condemnatory about that - what we need to go is, okay I'm obviously not getting something, I'm obviously not understanding at some level, what's really going on with my soul, I need to understand that. If no change is occurring and I am stagnant, that is the best sign. That's a great sign that I don't get something, that it's me that doesn't get something. And what most people do there is they blame their teacher or they blame God or they blame anything other than themselves; but if we're really responsible, we would say well actually it's all dependent upon the use of my will.

You see from God's perspective, God wants you to make these changes, God Loves you already, God wants to give you Her Love already, God is waiting for you to get into a condition where there's a sincere pure desire inside of you to receive It. So from God's perspective, there's nothing to do with God as to why there is no change occurring; God has everything in place; God's got laws in place to cause you to try to change, God is constantly trying to change you to bring you to the place where God created you to be - the pure expression of your pure personality and nature. So God's already got everything in place. If no change is occurring it's because we're resistive to everything that God's got in place and we must acknowledge that.

We must acknowledge that to ourselves firstly, that there must be resistance within us and then we need to develop a desire, through the use of our will, a desire to find what it is that's causing us to be resistive, to find the suppression that's in our soul, to find the resistance in our soul and start to process our way through it. Only we can do that, no one else can do that for us; God can't do that for us and no one else can do it for us either; many might attempt to try if they are unloving, but they can't do it for us either. The only person who can process their way through my emotions is me.

No one else can do it for me and this is something that's beautiful because it shows you that God made us to be self responsible individuals who come to see the power of exercising their own will. So I think it's a beautiful fact that this occurs. So any person who sort of says, oh there'll be some kind of mysterious event that might occur or someone will come along and save me from myself and all of those kinds of things - none of those things can happen. We can be saved from ourselves only by listening to other people who know how to progress and then engaging through faith those methods of progression. The majority of people don't do that of course, they don't engage it through faith or any other way, so unfortunately they don't progress. And there's a last statement she makes?

**Mary:** There is.

You wanted to raise another issue on what we just said.

**Mary:** No just when she asked are there some signs that can show us that we're just not getting it. From what you said, if there's no change in our life without extreme force of will then that's a sign that we're not getting it.

Yes and honestly there are many other signs: obviously the Law of Attraction in our life will not be changing, we'll be attracting the same events time after time with different people; our life is not going to be happy, so we'll be experiencing a low amount of happiness in our lives; we will often feel under attack; we will often feel things are not working well in our lives and we're not enjoying it. There are so many signs, you could list hundreds and hundreds of them in the end but it all comes down or boils down to this one fact that our life isn't changing for the better. And if our life is not changing for the better that is an indication that we're stagnant and we are not exercising our will to adjust that particular state of affairs.

**Mary:** Okay well let's read the end. "I feel like I'm just not getting some really basic stuff. I'm really struggling with allowing myself to feel these emotions in the first place and scared that they will never end. Where do I start?"

Well what she has stated here is very interesting because if she listens to her own statement she will see that fear is the dominant emotion. So fear is suppressing her desire to change, it's suppressing her desire to feel emotions, she is afraid that if she starts feeling emotions it will never end - which is not a truth, but it is a fear that a lot of people have. And so what she needs to do is to start looking at all the addictions she has to prevent herself from feeling these fears. The fact that these fears are in play is an indication that she must have addictions to look after each one of these fears.

So what she needs to do is to start looking at the addictions that she has and she can do that by every time she gets angry noticing why she got angry, and there's an addiction, something that wasn't met. Also every time she feels good, she needs to look at that because there's probably something that happened that fed one of her addictions. And if she allows herself to see every time she feels bad and every time she feels good, she will start acknowledging her addictions to herself and once she starts acknowledging her addictions to herself she has a chance to start having a look at her fears that drive the addictions. But already she has listed three in the question so that's where she could start; she could start with those three. So what were they again she said.

**Mary:** Well the last two are that she's ...

If you read the whole statement from the beginning.

**Mary:** "I understand that God's Love is supposed to be able to enter us as we progress but I suspect I'm a long way off from this."

So one fear is that she doesn't have any feeling whatsoever that God's Love can really enter her as she progresses and she also has a feeling that it's supposed to without her effort - so that's a problem, there's an addiction. She wants to be able to progress without any personal effort - so that's an addiction. That's almost like saying, well God's got to do all the work and then I'll progress and that's not how it's going to work at all. We need to do the work.

**Mary:** Yes, yes. And then she says, "Does it just take a really long time for some of us and we need to be patient? Are there some signs that can show us that we're just not getting it? I feel like I'm just not getting some really basic stuff. I'm struggling with ..."

So there's one fear.

**Mary:** Yes, that I'm not getting it.

So fear that she's not getting some really basic stuff.

**Mary:** Yes, struggling to allow herself to feel these emotions in the first place.

So there are obviously fears that cause her to stop feeling emotions.

**Mary:** And scared that they will never end.

And that's one of her primary fears again. So already she's identifying through her question her fears without even knowing that she's identifying what her fears are that are preventing her progress. So what's preventing her progress is evident from her question and we find this quite a lot where a person asks the question but in the question contains their own answer to their own question. So in her case with her emotions, inside of her question she's showing that she has a thought that God should do it for her, supposed to do it for her and not much faith that that's the case. She also is showing that she is quite afraid about processing through or feeling emotion. For one reason is she feels that it's never going to end and she's also quite afraid about not understanding about feeling like she's confused and there are probably fears associated with that associated feeling like a bit stupid and a bit dumb and not really, which are all fears. So already there's quite a long list of fears that she can identify from her own question and if she allowed herself to identify them and then look at the addiction she has to cover over these fears, what she does every day to make sure that she doesn't feel those things, then she'll go a long way to realising why she does not progress.

**Mary:** And you've actually given quite a lot of good advice about progression in this answer. So to recap you've said that the lack of faith is an issue and we need to work on faith.

A huge issue, it's huge, most people on earth have very little faith in God: we don't trust that God's built our soul just right; we don't trust that God's built a perfect person and we've only got errors in us from our environment; we think somehow there's some intrinsic flaw that we were created with and that's not the case; we don't trust that, we don't have faith in that. There are so many things about God we don't have faith about. We don't think or have faith in that God is a good being or that loves, we only believe that God is someone like our mummy or daddy, who loves us sometimes but only when we do what mummy or daddy says or in the case of God, only when we do what God says - that's the only time we feel that God's going to love us. There are a lot of false beliefs that we have in there that we need to address and see, otherwise we won't develop a longing for God.

**Mary:** So faith is one area to look at.

A huge area.

**Mary:** The next thing you talked about was personal responsibility.

Yes, so in other words this whole concept that if I wait long enough something will happen; no if you wait long enough you'll get old, decrepit and sick and also if you think about your day-to-day life, does anything ever happen when you just sit in one place? No generally not, even to turn on the television you've got to lift up your hand, go reach to the remote control and at least switch a button, you've got to do something, you know just sitting and waiting for something to occur means that nothing is going to occur.

**Mary:** Yes and so that's what you talked about: the difference between like a passive kind of patience where we are just waiting for something magical to happen to us that creates our progress versus a patience with self as we actively engage a process.

Correct, so you can actively engage a process and not get it straight away: it's a bit like when you pick up a musical instrument right at the beginning and you try to play it, the very first things that come out of the musical instrument are generally not pleasant to listen to and if you don't have patience with yourself that you've just begun the process of learning then you'll probably put down the musical instrument and never pick it up again; and it's very much the same with Divine Truth. We pick it up, we look at it, we are initially enthused by the intellectual concept of it but unfortunately what happens is we generally try to start to play with it, start to experience it or experiment with it and then we get very confused very rapidly because we haven't connected to our soul yet, and there a lot of things we don't understand about our soul and at that point most people go, "oh oh oh I think I'll put it down again," rather than being patient with themselves and saying, "no I'm a learner, I'm going through a learning experience here, as long as I exercise my will to continue, I will get to the end of it eventually." And will is not the same as force.

**Mary:** Yes, because that's the other way that we can approach progression isn't it. To be very forceful with ourselves and self punishing and hard upon ourselves.

Yes, I know one man who for the last six years said to me, "I'm going to get it, I'm eventually going to get it." And I said to the man, look, you know you're not getting it at the moment and you're really quite angry about not getting it. All you need to do is feel how angry you are about not getting it and he hasn't done that yet so of course he can't get it while he doesn't go through that emotion. So this is what the problem is for many people: they force themselves to try and get it but they are not getting it and they have an emotion they have to feel but they don't feel it. And that's the opening, once they start to feel the emotion and then they start getting things then they'll realise, "oh, it was the emotion that caused me to not get it".

**Mary:** It's such a simple process isn't it. We just need to feel the next thing that comes up and yet often we are so used to trying to control and be in charge and get to a goal and a destination.

Yes, a child just feels the next thing that comes up: they are not planning ahead for the future very much or looking at the past very much; they are just feeling the next emotion that comes up, whatever that emotion is. Now a lot of children become damaged because of the childhood suppression but if a child is left in a pure state in that regard, it can process through every emotion very, very rapidly - within hours it's all done. And this is where we as adults have the capacity to do that but unfortunately because of suppression and resistance and our belief systems and our intellect, we believe in hardly any principles about how the soul functions. We don't have any understanding about how our own soul functions and as a result we don't understand preclusion or absorption or progression or dominance or resistance or suppression or any of these concepts of the soul; we don't understand any of them; we don't understand presence and these kind of concepts and so as a result we're there trying to struggle with it all intellectually, not understanding any of the principles that govern our soul, believing in fact, most of the time that none of its true.

You know the amount of times I've talked to people who say, "I don't understand why I'm not progressing" and I say to them, "it's because you don't understand the soul, you don't believe that feeling an emotion is going to help you progress". And they go, "yes I do". And I say, "no you don't because you don't let yourself feel any of the emotion so how would you, how can you understand when you haven't let yourself feel one".

**Mary:** Just to clarify there you meant the person who said, I don't understand why I'm not progressing.

Yes.

**Mary:** You said progressing.

Yes while I'm not progressing sorry.

**Mary:** That's alright.

And so yes, I feel a lot of people are in this state where they don't understand what's going on because they have no understanding of how the soul works and as a result they are still holding on quite strongly to the concept that they can intellectually force change, which is not a soul quality.

**Mary:** Yes and so that's some of the other things that you've said in answer to this question, that obviously we know we're stagnant or not getting it when there's no change happening in our lives but then there's this issue of having a will and a desire for change and if we're not changing, we obviously don't have a desire and that's because of fear and we need to start feeling anger and fear and addiction.

Yes so fear is a primary reason why we don't change and fear is covered over, smoothed over by addiction and when we get angry it's a demonstration that our addictions are not being met. So instead of our addiction not getting met so we feel some fear, what we do is we revert to rage. And when we get our addictions met we go, oh isn't the world lovely and beautiful and isn't the world lovely and beautiful and oh, I have so many nice friends and everything's wonderful and we tell ourselves a whole heap of crap about our life because we want our addictions met because our addictions help us to overcome our fears.

And it's only when we are brave enough to look at the rage that we have and look at our addictions and then start to examine our fears that true progression will occur; and in fact the biggest work that most people on this planet will need to do is working through their fears. If you are not prepared to work through your fear, you have no way of progressing - simple as that. There's no way you can progress without working through fear and most people don't want to because they feel it's too painful and they are not prepared to feel pain. The irony is, every time you suppress a fear, physical pain results. So now you are creating more pain and this is the sad state of humanity because we don't understand how the soul functions, we even believe that disease is not of our own creation, and it is.

**Mary:** Yes, more questions we are going to ask you about fear specifically as we go through this series.

Yes I think we are now up to like one hundred and fifty or two hundred questions in this series already and the reality is I think that we'll be going quite some time answering peoples emotional questions which isn't a bad thing because in the end, we need to learn to become emotional beings who don't judge emotion and who allow emotions to occur and who allow emotions to flow. We need to learn how to do these things but, there is unfortunately, a large amount of disinformation on this planet about emotion that we're going to have to wade our way through and sort out and eventually come to a resolution of, and that's one of the main reasons why the majority of people on the planet never progress while they are on earth.

**Mary:** Yes, yes. Okay, well let's keep going. Thank you, thank you for that one.

No worries.

7. I control others through shame. I try to change. Why do my actions stay the same?

**Mary:** This question is another sort of long paragraph from someone so I'll read it out and we can go back through it.

Sure, OK

**Mary:** "I've used shaming methods to try to change the behaviour of my son and other people and I'm beginning to realise how much my own suppressed or denied shame has impacted and still impacts on my actions and beliefs. For a long time I've tried to change my behaviour and actually believed that I'd succeeded (no shortage of arrogance and self deception here). I'm beginning to emotionally realise that it's not possible to change through trying to change my actions. Why do we find it so personally difficult to accept the truth and come to terms with our shame?"

I find this person's last question, like the last statement, the last sentence quite incongruous with the rest of the question because I find it's quite strange that she's asking that particular part of the question when the reality is, the real question needs to be asked about why she believes taking action is going to ever cause any change and that is the real question, not the question that she's actually asked but let's look at the question she's actually asked. Let's list that question, just the last statement.

**Mary:** "Why do we find it so personally difficult to accept the truth and come to terms with our shame?"

Yes, so she's asking about shame and yes I would like to answer a whole series of questions about shame later I feel because there are a lot of problems on the planet because we are unwilling to feel shame but that is not the reason why we damage others with our shame and this is what we need to understand.

Just because we have an emotion in us of a certain type, it does not mean that that is the reason why we damage other people with the resistance or suppression of that emotion. We damage other people because we have chosen to damage them and we prefer it to feeling our own pain. So this question is not really about shame, it's about pain generally, the lady is unwilling to feel her own pain; as a result she is willing to take actions that cause pain in others.

**Mary:** So this is where in the beginning she's referring to shaming her son and other people.

Correct.

**Mary:** And that's because she's unwilling to feel something inside of herself.

Correct, she's unwilling to feel her own pain and so she creates pain in others and like she said she thought that she'd worked on the issue and overcome it but it's pretty obvious to her now that she has not and this is great. This is great that now she realises she has not solved this particular problem and she realises too in the statement she made, she realises that changing your actions doesn't change anything because in the end even your actions don't change. So she has continued to shame others and shame her son in order to manipulate and control their behaviour and she uses an internal justification for doing so and what she needs to do is find what the internal justification is and it's not shame.

It's not shame that causes her to justify treating others in a shameful manner, it's her desire to avoid her own pain and her desire to attack other people - and manipulate by the way and control other people - that causes her to use shame as a tool of control. So this is where we have to be very careful. See what I see a lot of people doing is they are saying, look the truth is the other day I yelled at my son or daughter and then they say, "That's because I was yelled at when I was a child," or "That's because I was treated badly when I was a child," or "That's because I felt bad, I felt the emotion of, a lack of worth when they spoke to me," or whatever it is." No it wasn't. It wasn't for any of those reasons. It was because you decided to attack another person rather than feeling your own pain: that's the only reason why you did it; you didn't do it for any other reason. You did it because you made a decision: you didn't want to feel your pain in that situation and you wanted them to feel pain instead; you wanted to attack them, that's why you attacked them; you wanted to shame them, you wanted to control them, you wanted to manipulate them; that's why you did it.

You didn't do it because you have shame. You did it because you have justification of abusive behaviour which is a completely different emotion than shame and in fact, if you were truly shamed, you would never be able to justify it; if you truly felt some shame, you would never be able to justify attacking another person just so that you can avoid your own pain.

**Mary:** Yes, so you're saying that if we were truly in contact with our shame and feeling it, not suppressing it or at least sensitive to it from a feeling perspective.

Correct.

**Mary:** So when it's triggered we sense it. Then we would never be able to shame another person in avoidance of that shame.

No I'm not saying that, I am saying that you could still because you may have an internal justification of abusing another person, which is a completely different emotion.

**Mary:** So can you clarify what you meant about - if you were really feeling your shame.

If I really feel my shame I can still potentially abuse another person, because it's not my shame that causes me to abuse another person, it's my willingness to cause pain in another person that causes me to abuse the other person and in avoidance of my own pain, not my own shame. And this is where I feel a lot of people - they blame an emotion - they say, "Oh it's because of shame that I did that to my son." No it's not, it's not. It's not because of shame that you do that to your son, it's because you're avoiding your own pain that you do that to your son and you want him to feel as much pain as you have and you want to control him and you want to manipulate him and you want to tell him what to do and you don't want to smack him because you have other judgements about that, but you are totally willing to abuse him emotionally which is abuse.

You're willing to abuse another person because you want to avoid your own pain and that's not about shame, that is about your willingness to abuse another person, your willingness to take an unloving action to the extent that you're willing to harm someone else; and that is totally independent of how much shame you have. You could have a mountain of shame in you and never do that; or you could have a smidge of shame in you and still do that. It is completely independent of each other these two emotions.

The emotion of desiring to abuse another is completely independent of the emotion inside of yourself. It's your justification, and this is where we've got to be very careful. What I'm saying is, this lady is justifying shame as the reason why she takes abusive behaviour towards her son and others but it's not her shame that causes the abusive behaviour, it is her willingness to avoid her own pain and make herself feel better by abusing another that causes her to abuse another and because shame is a technique that was used on her, she now knows the technique and she uses that as a technique to harm another. But the reason why she's doing it is not because of her own shame, it's because of her own willingness to abuse another and this is where I see a lot of people getting way off board with their emotions: they believe that the emotion is one thing when actually the emotion is quite a dark, much darker emotion in another direction that causes them to take a certain action and I feel that while we want to discuss shame, we also need to be careful of using shame as an excuse for very terrible decisions and behaviours that we make in avoidance of our own pain: and most people do this.

Most people wish to avoid their own pain by attacking another, manipulating another, controlling another, so that they don't trigger them as the saying goes, so they don't feel something from what the other person is doing and that's all about personal avoidance of your own pain: that's all about your own selfishness and narcissism. It's not about your shame and this is what we need to come to terms with. We need to come to terms with that just because we have an emotion in us from our childhood, that emotion is not the cause of us abusing other people and harming other people. That emotion is an excuse we often are using to abuse other people, but it is not the cause. The cause is an internal belief that we have the right to harm other people as a method of avoiding our own pain; that's the cause and that's a completely different emotional cause than the internal shame the woman is experiencing.

**Mary:** So from what you're saying, the reason we do harm to others is because we have an emotional justification of doing that harm and often we justify it in order to avoid our own pain but regardless of what that pain is, the emotion in play is a sense of justification or entitlement or that it's okay to do this harmful thing under this circumstance.

Correct.

**Mary:** And presumably all of us or people have different circumstances under which they would justify harm, it might differ between people but whenever we do harm we have that emotion and that's what needs to be dealt with.

Yes, so if you gave the average mother a knife and said, "murder your child". The average mother wouldn't do it but if you get the average mother pregnant and she doesn't want the child, she is willing to do it. So in other words, she has an internal justification under some circumstance, that murder of a child is acceptable. Now that is independent of the emotions that she feels when she feels that. So in other words, when she feels like the reasons why, she will use a whole heap of tools of justification and that is I can't cope with having the child: well have the child and give it away, there are plenty of people who don't have children and want to have a child, give it to them if you don't want to have it yourself. "Oh but I couldn't do that because then I would be viewed as a bad mother." Well feel that, feel that you're not a good mother if you need to feel that. "Oh I couldn't do it because the man I got pregnant to, I don't like him very much and this child will tie me to him the rest of my life." Okay well take some responsibility then and feel that, feel that emotion of what it's going to be like, tied to that man for the rest of your life, a reminder of one of your immoral acts for the rest of your life: feel what that feels like.

But she doesn't want to feel any of those things and instead she's willing to justify the murder, and it's the justification of the unloving act which is going to darken her soul more than the actual emotions in her that were there prior to the event. So, this is the problem that we face - that quite often we say or want it to be reasonable to do certain things and it's never so, in this case, it's never reasonable to abuse your own children - emotionally, physically, sexually or in any way. It's never reasonable and yet most people do it in some way. Why do they do it? Because they don't want to feel their own pain and they feel they'd like to take their pain out on someone else and that's very different than actually identifying the emotion of shame as the cause. So this is where I feel it's very important for a person to understand that.

**Mary:** Yes, I feel that's very important and it is the case not just with our children but anyone who we choose to harm we obviously have a feeling that that is justified in that case and that is what we need to deal with first isn't it.

Yes, we need to look at the internal justification for the unloving act and we have amazing justifications for unloving acts and a lot of our justifications, we believe are reasonable. If we didn't believe it, we'd never do it, so we do believe they are reasonable. So the woman who aborts the child believes her justification for the abortion is reasonable.

**Mary:** Well, even if you use that example of giving a mother a knife and saying to her kill your child and if you use a different example of giving a mother a knife and saying someone else wants to kill your child, she might not ever feel justified in murdering her child, but she might feel justified in murdering the other person.

The other person, exactly, who is somebody's child.

**Mary:** Who is somebody's child, exactly and society would also ...

Possibly justify it. In fact in many countries of the world there's still the death penalty. So in every one of those countries the majority of people justify it. So they justify, from God's perspective an unlawful act in order to prevent them from feeling certain emotions; that's all they are doing and this is something that we need to understand. We're just justifying things all the time; we are justifying unloving acts all the time and we need to stop doing it if we are ever going to change; we need to look at the reasons why we justify it. What fears drive these justifications - and shame is a causal emotion, it's not fear, it's completely different \- so the lady attacking her son emotionally by shaming him and which controls him and manipulates him, that is an unloving act driven, not by her shame but by her fear.

**Mary:** And it may be the fear of her shame ...

Highly unlikely.

**Mary:** Or her fear of other pain might-en it.

Yes, fear of other pain.

**Mary:** And she's using shame as a convenient ...

As a convenient scapegoat to avoid the real feelings.

**Mary:** But regardless of what the real thing is we're avoiding, the thing to deal with is the fear of that thing.

Correct and the only way you can deal with the fear of that thing, is to deal with your rage of that thing and the addictions of that thing and then you'll get to your fear of that thing.

**Mary:** Well, partly your addiction is feeling that it's okay to harm another when an emotion is triggered, is that right?

Well I'd say that's the rage perspective.

**Mary:** The rage.

Yes so it's okay to harm someone when your addiction is not met: so let's say a person has an addiction for safety, when that addiction is not met \- in other words they feel unsafe - now they feel justified to murder somebody. So, in the case of a child, of a mother with an abortion, she's okay normally she doesn't go around murdering people but when her fear is triggered and her addiction is no longer going to be met, now she feels justified in murdering a child that's yet unborn who has no control over the situation whatsoever. And yet if that child was born, she'd be convicted as a murderess and probably looked down upon by society for many, many years. And yet when it's unborn, she has the justification that it's unborn, that it's not a real child yet, I can get away with it. And these are all, this is all how far we will go in our justification; we will murder in our justification. The average person, the average person, will murder in their justification and unless you're willing to release the causal emotional reason why that's the case, you will justify really bad behaviour that causes the degradation of your own and other peoples soul.

**Mary:** And some of that justification can be created just through the belief that I shouldn't have to feel fear.

Yes, I shouldn't have to, I shouldn't have to feel fear; I shouldn't have to have some kind of inconvenience; I shouldn't have to have some kind of discomfort; I shouldn't have to, and that's arrogance; that's also a lack of personal responsibility. So they are not shame based emotions. They are different emotions that are causing that action. So this is why I find this question quite interesting and here I'm not judging the woman, I'm just stating that this is an illustration, it's a great illustration in fact of how people want it to be one emotion that's causing their problem and even justifying that one emotion as the cause of the problem while at the same time not realising that no, there are much darker emotions driving this action that you're engaging in regularly than just this emotion of shame or whatever it is that they feel is the main causal problem. And this is where I don't agree with the average concepts of most psychologists and psychiatrists and everything that shame is the major cause of unloving behaviour. I don't agree with that. I do feel that, it is certainly a participant in causes of unloving behaviour.

**Mary:** And surely it's the avoidance of shame rather than the feeling of shame.

Correct, it is the avoidance of any painful emotion that causes unloving behaviour and we need to stop avoiding painful emotion, once we stop avoiding painful emotion, we will then not engage unloving behaviour so readily; we will feel the unloving emotion instead. That's what we will do. We will feel the underlying emotion and this is where we need to go as a society: we need to stop justifying behaviour through belief systems that are unloving and we need to start saying, "no behaviour that is unloving is justifiable under any circumstances" and then we need to start looking at ourselves and start saying, "Okay internally I have feelings that they are justifiable, I need to get those feeling that are inside of me and work through my anger and my addictions and my fears associated with those feelings so that I no longer justify these unloving behaviours. And that is completely separate to our processing of shame.

**Mary:** Fantastic, thank you.

So I feel we'll answer questions about shame later on but I just wanted to address this feeling of using an emotion to justify unloving behaviour and basically using an emotion as an excuse to justify unloving behaviour, and this is self delusion. So it's interesting in the statement, or the question this lady asks: she's acknowledging that she has been in self delusion and arrogance but just not acknowledging how bad it goes, how deeply it is rooted inside of her - it's so deeply rooted that she's willing to use an emotion of harm to damage her own child in order to control and manipulate his behaviour - that's how strongly entrenched her belief is that she should be able to avoid her own pain and her willingness to attack another person and make them feel as much pain as she feels. And that is a very unloving course of action and rather than her feeling guilty and punished about it now that I've said all of these things, it would be far better for her to look at the reason why she feels that she can justify this.

**Mary:** Yes and I think this is such valuable information for all of us because all of us at the moment are taking unloving actions and that's ...

And justifying it.

**Mary:** And justifying, well we have to be justifying it in order to do it.

Exactly.

**Mary:** And that's such an important dynamic to recognise and to not get caught up in this idea of throw away comments like "Oh I did that because of my shame" or because of that happened to me as a kid so I did it again.

And it didn't happen, under those circumstances; every person who has been sexually abused would be a sexual abuser and that's not the case: see some of them are so angry that they feel justified to abuse another; some of them are not, some of them feel so hurt that they could never abuse another the same way. And see it's a very, very different response and the response is completely independent of what happened; the response is based upon a justification that they should be able to take an action to damage another because that action was taken to damage them and that's a very, very different emotion that drives that. That's emotions of arrogance, lack of humility to your emotion, a desire to avoid your own pain, a desire to create as much pain in other people that you have inside of yourself and so forth and they are quite dark emotions and we need to acknowledge they exist inside of us and then look at the root causes of them which are all emotions that we need to experience and release.

**Mary:** Great, I think that will be helpful for a lot of people actually that question and answer.

Yes I feel so, like I feel that a lot of people are using sort of emotional excuses for their behaviour and there is no excuse for bad behaviour; from God's perspective there is no excuse for bad behaviour at all. That's why every one of God's Loving Laws corrects bad behaviour for whatever reason you took it and this is why for every one of God's Laws there is a penalty upon your soul if you take an action that results in your being unloving to another person. There will be a penalty on your soul and this is independent of how many things have happened to you and so it should be because you are making a decision to harm another purposefully and you shouldn't be. If anything, what you should be doing is feeling the own harm that was brought to you and never, never harm another because of how much you were harmed; and a person who is truly loving would never wish to harm another person just because they themselves have been harmed in the past.

**Mary:** And they would never even consider it as a justification would they.

Never.

**Mary:** Because when we are developed in love we take responsibility for all of our actions, because that's how God views us as well.

Yes and we see our actions as independent to what happened to us and what I mean by that is we see our taking an action to harm another as a decision we are now making to harm another and it doesn't matter what excuse we use for that decision, the reality is we are taking a decision, making one to harm another; and that's what somebody did to harm us and really if we think about it logically we can see that somebody who did it to us obviously thought they had a justification at the time and does it feel inside of you that there was any justification. No it does not, and this is how it feels from God's perspective; from God's perspective there is no justification for any unloving behaviour, none whatsoever.

And if you are making justifications for unloving behaviour, you are already extremely out of harmony with God's Laws of Love and therefore you will receive a penalty of being so much out of harmony; it's very, very damaging to believe that you have the right to harm another just because you have been harmed - even by that person.

**Mary:** Great, thank you.

8. How can I release suppressed anger of many years? How can I get past this huge block?

**Mary:** Our next question comes from - I don't know who it comes from - but again it involves a paragraph so I'll read that to you.

**Mary:** They say, "How can I deal with suppressed anger of many, many years. I do not seem to accept emotionally this anger even when I know it is the only way for me to go forward. How can I accept this anger which will lift the roof off my castle and will it help me to release myself and to be free? How can someone deal with anger when you always have shown another persona?"

Facade.

**Mary:** "Is it because I have to forgive and I'm not ready (exclamation mark, exclamation mark) to do so. I know I have to do the work myself and that no one else can do this for me but how can I go past this huge block?"

Well the question itself again demonstrates a lot of the errors of thinking here and that are causing this person to remain blocked towards processing anger. If we look at some of the statements that are made: firstly if we go to the statement, 'when am I ready,' like when will I be ready or am I ready or will I be ever ready ...

**Mary:** I'm not ready.

I'm not ready, all of these things; these statements are saying you're not ready, they are just an excuse to get you away from the responsibility of taking control of your own life. Whenever you say you're not ready, you're basically saying, "I don't want to take control of my own life" because when you decide, really decide with a pure heart that you want to take control of your own life, you will do it.

And it's not some magical solution that you'll become ready through a whole series of processes; although, the Law of Attraction is going to bring you a whole series of processes which will eventually force you into being ready. But even then, you will still need to make the choice and decision, through the use of your will to take the action to process through something emotionally.

Now in the case of this person, again it's a lady I can feel who basically is struggling with anger and rage and she's saying that she's suppressed her anger and rage for many, many years: well yes this is a problem, suppression of anger and rage for many, many years is a problem. However, she likes to have the anger and rage within her because if she didn't like it, she would release it, so she likes it.

So what I would do first is examine the reasons why having anger and rage within her is acceptable to her, what she gets out of having anger and rage within her, and she will find that people are automatically scared of her and she likes that because it gives her control over situations she otherwise would not have control over. So what she needs to do is examine with a pure heart the real reasons why she likes to be angry or why she likes to have anger within her at least and there will be a lot of emotional reasons why a person wants to feel and never release their anger: a lot of it's to do with a feeling of weakness. They feel anger makes them feel strong and powerful and they are unwilling to feel weak and powerless and so they become addicted to having the anger remain within them, but there's also, this lady has some guilt about the anger remaining in her.

**Mary:** She does.

She does, so this is an indication that in her childhood probably, there have been some experiences where the anger was condemned or judged in some way, or even she was punished, so she's afraid of expressing it.

**Mary:** Yes.

Now she is going to have to at some point go through acknowledgement of many of these emotions in order to start feeling her anger and even when she starts feeling her anger she's going to have to be very careful because if she's not careful she will use her anger as a tool to feel powerful rather than just feeling her anger alone in a bedroom and releasing it so that she can get to the addiction that is underneath it. It's always an addiction that's underneath the anger.

**Mary:** It's very interesting isn't it how you've spoken in many seminars, saying to people, you need to release your anger. Like you often use the phrase, "Get out the baseball bat and go and beat the punching bag or whatever it is".

Yes, this woman hasn't even tried that I feel and the reason why is she's justifying the keeping of the anger inside of her. She doesn't really even want to attempt to release it and that is an issue and a problem.

**Mary:** So it seems like from what you're saying, just that act of getting the baseball bat and punching or bashing something is not necessarily the way we are going to actually release anger.

Not in this case.

**Mary:** Because we have to work through these investments we have in maintaining that you mentioned, things like control and feeling of strength.

Yes, well she's suppressing her anger for a start so she needs to look at her belief systems she has about why she needs to suppress her anger.

**Mary:** So that could be about facade and things like that.

That is a lot about facade, yes, about wanting to maintain a facade, about wanting to look better than she actually feels inside and holding on to feeling that if people see her real anger and real self and how angry she actually is that no one will love her and no one will care for her and there are a lot of other reasons as to why she would be suppressing her anger and she needs to be sincere about finding them and she's not at this point sincere about finding them. She needs to allow herself to develop a sincerity to find the reasons why she suppresses her anger.

The second thing she needs to do is to find the reasons why she resists her anger and suppression and resistance are not always the same thing, they're not always the same reasons. For some people they resist their anger for a different reason than they suppress it: so sometimes we suppress it because of how other people might feel and we resist in because we might feel bad or afraid that we'll actually do something really bad when we're angry or something like that and they are different fears that are causing us to resist. So she needs to look at how the soul functions in this aspect of suppression and resistance because these are the things stopping her from feeling her anger and she needs to look at the belief systems that surround the reasons why she believes she should suppress and resist her anger.

And she needs to be sincere about this process of doing that, then she'll at least start expressing some anger and then she's going to have to be very careful because inside of her there are some emotions where she wants to hold on to the anger because it feels powerful and in control and there's going to be a temptation for her that when she starts expressing her anger that she uses it to gain power and control rather than actually going into her bedroom and privately or being privately expressive of her own rage and just connecting to the rage itself. So that's the course of action I would suggest that she takes.

Now she's going to find that quite difficult to take and there are lots of reasons why: a person who's been suppressing anger for years and years obviously has some very strong investments in the suppression and unless she's really sincere about those investments it's going to be very, very difficult for her to allow herself to experience her anger but she must understand that this is something to do with her will. She's going to need to have a strong will to get to that place and it doesn't matter, there's not going to be any other magical solution. There's not going to be someone or some event that comes along that causes her to all of a sudden to do it magically. She's going to have to allow the Law of Attraction to bring her events still but she's going to have to soften to the feeling of anger she has in acknowledgement and allow the expression of it in a private way so that she doesn't connect to these other addictions of maintaining power and control. So it is going to be quite a difficult process for her to begin doing that.

Now of course, she can pray to God to help her, to bring events to her that trigger her anger so that she can have a more sincere look at her anger. She can also ask for help from her guides to remind her to not go into the power place and not go into the wanting control over others when she experiences her anger but rather remove herself to a place of personal safety and safety for others when she experiences her anger but she also needs to understand that her anger is driven by addiction and fear and at some point she is going to have get beyond her desire to stay angry and get into more of a desire to feel the addiction that drives it and then get into the fear that controls the addiction that drives her anger.

And that's going to mean softening to quite a few emotions that she's unprepared to soften to at this point in time. I know she's unprepared because she's suppressing anger. If she wasn't suppressing her anger she would be then feeling her anger which means that she's prepared to feel her anger, that she wants to feel her anger in her soul. At this stage she does not want to feel her anger in her soul and so I would look at why she does not want to feel the anger in her soul. What are her internal justifications for retaining this anger within her?

**Mary:** So why she thinks it's a good idea to stay the way she is rather than to change.

Correct and she'll have very strong emotional investments some of which involve other people and some of which involve herself about the reason why she wants to remain in this place of anger. The key is to allow yourself to feel every one of them. When you feel them, they'll release from you and then once they release from you, you'll start feeling anger more readily and then you'll have to be careful about how you experience your anger and you'll have to start allowing yourself to see it's the addiction now that drives that anger and allow yourself to start feeling the addiction and your justification for the rage based response to the addiction not being met.

**Mary:** It seems to me that there are two ways that we can experience anger and one is in a way that's quite harmful to others and the other is a way where it feels quite painful to ourselves but doesn't harm others.

But doesn't harm others, yes.

**Mary:** And that second space is the space where change happens, we get more in contact with our addictions, fear is more evident, those things.

Yes there's a lovely scripture in the Bible and it says "be angry but do not sin". When we sin it means that's when we take the action to harm another or harm ourselves in our anger. Many people do that too, many people get so angry with themselves that they are willing to suicide or cut themselves and do other things towards themselves: both actions are sinning. You need to stop taking actions that are out of harmony with love towards yourself or another but just feel the anger and this is where most people again aren't prepared to go.

They're not prepared to feel the pain that's involved with feeling anger. They want to act out their anger and start blaming the environment, someone externally for their anger or even harming themselves for having the anger rather than actually just feeling the anger as an emotional experience. The most loving thing to do with anger is to feel it as an emotional experience and find the underlying addiction that covers the fear because it's the addiction that covers the fear that is causing the justification for the rage and we need to find it and we need to be sincere about finding it.

**Mary:** And it seems that we also need to be sincere about breaking down the facade we have around our anger.

Correct.

**Mary:** This lady is saying she's used to showing another persona to others and lots of people, lots of us ...

And there's a lot of fear in that: so there is in her, there is fear of anger and her fear of anger is a lot about things like, what's going to happen to her if she experiences it? How will other people perceive her? Will she be punished? Will she be violently abused if she feels a feeling of anger? And all of these kinds of feelings come from our childhood generally where we have been violently abused when we felt angry or where we were afraid of the withdrawal of love when we got angry and so forth. And these are all feelings that need to be experienced before a soul change can take place.

And it doesn't matter how much you maintain a facade and try to act lovingly, the real soul change will not occur until you feel your way through those emotions and develop a desire, and obviously to do that you need to develop a desire to feel your way through those emotions rather than reverting to the facade. So what we notice a lot of people attempting to do is, they want to revert to the facade; it's like - here we go again another facade. We had a recent exchange of emails with somebody who we told her about her facade. She emails back another facade. And we tell her about that facade, she emails back another facade. When are you going to give up the facade and just say that you are really angry and stop making out that you've actually got a handle of it and realise that you've got no idea what's going on.

**Mary:** It's so crazy isn't it because we naturally respond to a person with less facade and yet most of us are so invested in maintaining our facade aren't we.

Correct yes and we have all sorts of emotional reasons why we want to maintain the emotional facade. So we need to stop focussing, stop focusing on the facade itself and start focusing on why we wish to maintain it and that requires some sincere analysis of yourself emotionally. You need to feel about what you get out of the facade? You get other people thinking you're something you're not.

Isn't that wonderful is what you think but I'll tell you what, a lot of people who are invested in facade on the earth after they pass into the spirit world are absolutely shocked because they realise there is no way they can maintain a facade anymore and the only way they can maintain a facade is by coming back to earth being invisible to other people because everybody they see in the spirit world sees exactly who they are. No facade, and that's why a lot of people become earth bound because they hate the idea that everybody can see them and they'd rather stay here on earth where nobody can really see them because they don't ever want to work their way through their desire for their own facade.

And we keep emphasising this in these emotional questions - the use of your will is paramount in solving every problem: you need to use your will. You need to have a desire to address these problems before they are ever going to be solved and that's where I see the majority of people struggling with the exercise of their will - they want a magical solution, they want someone to come along and save them, they want somebody to cure them without them having to take any action, they want a pill for their problem rather than actually coming to terms with what's caused the problem inside of them and feel the pain associated with that.

**Mary:** Okay great, thank you.

Thanks.

