I was driving back up from Dallas to
Wichita after the New Year.
My older brother lives down there.
And on these long drives I really like
listening to audiobooks. And one of the
ones that I listened to on the way up
this time was The Subtle Art of Not
Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. And the
reason why I wanted to do a video on it
today is because it does a very good job
on offering a different insight into how
you live your life.
Similar to the The Four Agreements book.
This one has a lot of philosophy mixed
in and I wanted to jump in and give
you the three main points that I took
away from this book and show you how you
can implement them to improve your life.
So let's jump into it.
Number one is we're all going to die
soon. Mark talks about in the book, how
when he was a kid he was hanging out
with one of his friends and one of his
friends decided to jump off this cliff.
They were going cliff diving, but his
friend jumped off in the middle of the
night and didn't know how to swim.
He was just super drunk and he decided to
jump off this cliff and he ended up dying
because of it. And Mark internalized that
hard when he realized that we're
all gonna die soon and you can't really
tell when you're going to die. The
average age for male in the United
States is 74 years old. My dad died
when he was 61. I know a lot of people.
My older brother died when he was
mid thirties. So a lot of people
think they're gonna last for a really
long time, but you're not going to last
very long time and this book made me
think about that. We're all
going to die like fairly soon. Even if
you do last till you're 70. That's
only what? If you're 20 right now.
Five more decades. If you're 30, 4
more decades. We're all
gonna die and the main takeaway here
is it doesn't really matter then. Right?
Worst-case scenario - you try something
and you fail at it, but you're
gonna die either way so it doesn't
really matter.
Number two is you can only care about
one or two things so make them the big
things. His point here is people care
about way too much stuff in their lives.
For instance, let's say your
sister is really bad with money and
you're always thinking
about it. 'Oh no. Why is she
getting into so much debt?
How can I help her out?' Mark Manson is
saying that's outside of the realm
of your control so you shouldn't worry
about it. The example he gives in the
book is one of his friend's sister was
getting married and then the
brother, his friend, didn't like the guy that
she was getting married to so he was
like constantly like talking up to the
sister about how that was a bad idea,
talking to the guy about how he
shouldn't be getting married. And his
point, Mark's point in this book was that
it doesn't really matter.
Worst-case scenario or not even worse
case scenario. Let's say the sister gets
married to the guy
the only thing that this guy gets from
worrying about the marriage is now he's
super stressed all the time because he
said all this bad stuff to the boyfriend,
now husband, and his sister doesn't like
him.  His sister is mad because
he's been shit talking the marriage the
whole time. The better approach
according to mark and I'm seeing the
light in this as well is just to be
hands-off. Realize that you can only care
about one or two things so the
friend and really all of us should just
care about making ourselves
succeed and in best way we
possibly can and not worry about
whether all your friends are having
kids and you're not or whether you're
getting older or you're losing your hair
or any of the stuff that we worry about.
And then finally number three is if you
only care about the goal and you don't
love the work that means you don't want
the goal. And this was freaking
enlightening for me hardcore. I think
Gary Vaynerchuk said something similar
in one of his videos as well, but Mark
said that he wanted to be a rock star in
college. He really wanted to be
up onstage like John Mayer
with a guitar playing and all the girls
being super into him and then he
realized that although he really wanted
to be a rock star, like you wanted that
life, he didn't want to practice as hard
as he could. He didn't want to trudge
through and do the small shows, he didn't
want to do the marketing. All this
small stuff that eventually becomes rock
star and the takeaway he had based on
that was if
he doesn't love practicing, he doesn't
love going through music theory or doing
all that stuff to get to the final goal
he doesn't actually want that goal it's
actually just a dream for him. So he
stopped wanting to be a rock star at
that point and focus on being an author
and a blogger because he liked blogging. And
that was enlightening for me and it made
me think about all the stuff in life
that I want to be, but I'm not actively
working towards. So for instance one of
the things that I really wanted to do
for a long time was make horror films
like scary movies, but I sat down
two months ago to write a horror movie
script and I got about 10 pages in and
realized that I don't really want to
right horror.
I wasn't enjoying the process so
actually I pivoted the whole script and
now... I did actually finish the movie
script about 92 pages long, but it
switched from a horror movie to
more of a drama, like a dark drama.
I might touch on what that is
in the future video, but I liked writing
that a lot more. So my dream of being
the next Wes Craven or the
next horror movie director
kind of died that day when I realized
I don't actually like writing horror
movies. And it's something for you to
think about as well. In your
business.
Do you like the day-to-day? Are you
a real entrepreneur? For me, I love
this grind. I love sending cold
emails. I love talking to customers on
the phone. I love the feeling of when we
make a sale. I like managing people. I love the
one-on-ones. I like the team that we're
working with. All this stuff is
super enticing. Even more than the
far-off goal of like selling the company
or making X dollars, having X
amount of dollars in the bank.
Just the thrill of making
enough money every month to support
myself for my business is enough for me
to keep me going. And that's the kind of
thing that Mark is talking about in this
book. What in your life are you caring
about that you shouldn't be? Leave that
down in the comments and hopefully we
can all start moving forward together. If
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