• From sassing strangers on the street,
to waking up in the desert, the Planet Dolan
crew re-enact even more of the best true stories
from our subreddit: Worst thing you’ve done
while drunk– I’m {} and today I’ll be
your narrator
10 – ashgyc Dolan and Pringle
When they were teenagers, Dolan and Pringle
were sitting on a train when a man got off
without taking his groceries with him.
They picked up the bag with the intention
of handing it in, but Dolan spotted two bottles
of vodka in it.
They decided to ‘try’ the vodka and the
next thing they knew they were wandering the
streets asking strangers things like, ‘Are
you my parents?’ and ‘Are you a virgin?’
Eventually some police officers arrived to
drive them home.
Dolan then proceeded to puke all over the
police officer’s shoes.
His parents were just a little annoyed at
him when he got home.
9 - WestAussieBrumby SweetCommando
Many years ago, SweetCommando was quite drunk
and taking a shower when he really had to
pee.
He decided to go for it and started peeing
into the drain.
He forgot that his girlfriend at the time
was standing outside the shower putting makeup
on.
She yelled, ‘You better not be pissing in
there!’
SweetCommando felt bad so without stopping,
he opened the shower door and started peeing
in the general direction of the toilet.
It mostly missed the bowl and she stood there
staring in horror.
Needless to say they didn’t stay together
very long after that.
8 – undergroundpeace9 Zaraganba
Zaraganba was at a bar once that had an arcade
machine.
He was quite drunk and decided he wanted to
get a high score.
It came to the boss battle, which nobody had
ever beaten before.
He had one last health bar and he was sweating
bullets, he was very close to beating it.
A crowd had gathered around him and they were
all cheering him on.
The pressure, and the alcohol suddenly got
to him and he started to pass out.
Just as he fell down, his head hit the final
attack button and he killed the boss.
The last thing he remembered before he lost
consciousness was everyone cheering for him.
7 – Miss_Yagami_White Ramona
On Ramona’s 21st birthday, her friends insisted
on celebrating with her, even though she really
needed to stay home and study.
She gave in and they went to a party, her
friends told everyone it was her birthday
and suddenly she had an endless supply of
drinks.
The next thing she remembered was waking up
naked on an inflatable raft in somebody’s
pool the next day.
On her phone were videos from the night before
of Ramona setting fire to trees, spray painting
a kitchen and jumping off a house into a pool
completely naked.
Unsurprisingly Ramona’s friends never invited
her out drinking again.
6 – Crysek GhostToast
One time GhostToast came home after drinking
all day with his work colleagues and decided
it was a great idea to make a toasted sandwich.
He made the sandwich just fine, but while
he was waiting for the toaster to cook, he
completely fell asleep upright in his chair.
When he woke up the first thing he noticed
was smoke and a small piece of shrivelled
coal where the sandwich toaster once was.
He was very lucky nothing else caught fire.
5 – solidaturtle Snewpee
When Snewpee was younger she used to wear
a purple backpack to school.
One day her uncle thought it would be a great
idea to pick her up from school, because he
hadn’t seen her in a while.
He parked in the middle of the schoolyard,
you could smell the booze on him a mile away.
He saw Snewpee and yelled, ‘DORA THE EXPLORER.
IS THAT YOU?’
She rolled her eyes and said Hi.
He then gave her a really awkward hug before
she walked off.
As if she would get in the car with a drunk
driving uncle.
4 - Pancakeking78 Pandora
After a long hot day of celebrating a birthday
with her friends, Pandora stumbled home and
opened every window and door in her house
to let a breeze in.
She had been drinking heavily because it was
so humid outside, and she passed out immediately
from exhaustion.
She slept for twelve hours straight, and when
she woke up she realised she had been robbed
during the night.
In fact she had vague memories of sleep talking
to the burglar, mistakenly thinking it was
one of her friends.
3 – Phalacrophobian Hellbent
Hellbent went out day drinking with his friends
once and they had a little bit too much.
He got to a point where he was so drunk he
couldn’t even pronounce his own name.
He and his friends went to the car park but
couldn’t find their car.
They wandered back to the street and found
a reporter and cameraman doing a live national
news report.
Hellbent walked up to the reporter, stole
the microphone, looked into the camera and
asked the whole nation, ‘Hey has anyone
seen my car?
It’s like, red and I like to jack off in
it.’
Long story short he ended up spending the
night in a jail cell.
2 – populardan28 MKyleM
When MKyleM went on holiday once, he found
himself getting quite drunk and wandered out
alone into a desert.
He remembers having a great time exploring
and the rest of the night was a blur.
The next morning he woke up with extreme pain
in his penis and no pants on.
It was one of his finer moments in life when
he realised that the night before he had literally
tried to have sex with a cactus.
He spent the rest of the day quietly picking
needles out from his needle in the bathroom.
1 – NARRATOR’S STORY
Now I myself don’t drink, so I’ve never
been drunk, but some of my friends – oh
boy, do they love to get wasted.
Now, that said, one time I was at a party
with a friend of mine who got so drunk that
when he decided to pass out and go to bed,
he thought that a watermelon was a pillow.
He grabbed it off the table, threw it onto
the couch, and slept on it.
What makes this story great though is that
during the night the watermelon clearly got
smashed, so he woke up covered in sticky watermelon
juice, seeds, and the watermelon pieces were
all over the hosts floor.
Needless to say, he was forced to clean up
the mess.
It was great.
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet
Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What's
the cringiest thing you've ever experienced?”
Let us know in the reddit page linked below
and you might be featured in a future countdown.
