To be honest... I am a little surprised that
he's getting married to a lady today because...
Just let me get my guitar.
There was always rumours going around the
family that y'know, Rob might not be... That
we thought he might be gay.
So I was trying to sum up some of the stories,
but instead I put it into a bit of a song,
so if you just bear with me.
What's up Rob? It's only a bloody song.
Think you're outdoing me pal?
So I've done it to the tune of "Matchstalk men
and matchstalk cats and dogs". I know it's
a favourite of some people in here so we'll
er we'll go with it.
So here we are - It's 2010. A beautiful bride
by the name of Jen. 
Fantastic day so far's been had by all
I hate to be the one to say... 
I always thought that Rob was gay
Did no one read the warning signs at all?
Well it started sat on Santa's knee. I was
six, our Rob was 3. 
An action man was my polite request
Then Rob sat down with his list in
hand, 
On santa's lap in this wonderland 
And said I'd like a Barbie doll the best.
So here's to Rob and Jen on your wedding day.
You were made for each other in every way.
Well Rob you've got a beautiful wife and I
wish you a happy life. 
But I still believe that our Rob could be gay.
Well I was flabbergasted, struck with shock.
I couldn't believe that Rob liked... 
Frocks.
But I was a modern brother of the day.
There's nothing wrong wearing comfy shoes
and meeting men in public loos,
but he's our kid and we'll love him anyway.
So here's to Rob and Jen on your wedding day.
You were made for each other in every way.
Well you know you've got more friends than most 
raise your glasses to a toast 
To Rob and Jen on their wedding day.
Well over 20 years have been and gone and
here he is saying Jen's the one. 
If anyone can turn him - Jen it's you. 
He'll steal your products to do his hair 
and prance around in your underwear... 
But at least he leaves the seat down on the loo.
So here's to Rob and Jen on your wedding day.
You were made for each other in every way.
Well Rob you've got a beautiful wife
and I wish you both a happy life 
But the in laws want grand kids by the end of May.
So here's to Rob and Jen on your wedding day.
You were made for each other in every way.
Well charge your glasses to a toast...
To Rob and Jen on your wedding day
