Hi, I'm Kale. Today I want to clear up some
misconceptions about relationship anarchy
and commitment.
I've had some people say to me 'I couldn't
handle relationship anarchy, I need commitment!'
It seems that since a lot of people associate
relationship anarchy with chaos, they also
assume that to be a relationship anarchist
means to not have any commitments.
My question is: what does commitment look
like? Maybe to monogamous folks, it involves
the relationship escalator: date, move in,
marry, have kids. They believe if you are not committed
to all, or at least some of those things,
you are not really committed at all.
We already know that is not the likely path
an RA will take. So does that
mean relationship anarchists don't commit at all?
Just because a commitment doesn't look like how it
would in a monogamous relationship, does not
make it less real, or important.
An RA relationship will set it's own tone,
and the people involved will form their own
type of commitments together.
How we practice commitments as relationship
anarchists is important. You can practice
relationship anarchy without having spent
your life as an anarchist, but some of the
politics are integral to how we perform RA.
Here are some key points to commitment within
an anarchist framework:
The thing about any type of commitment is
that it is not often static and permanent.
No matter how committed someone may be in
the moment, it is possible
if not probable, that in the long term things will change.
What we are doing in relationship anarchy
is recognizing a person's autonomy, and allowing
space for that change.
Once you realize that commitment is a living
thing, that it can change and evolve, you
can acknowledge that it's permanence is a
fallacy.
That means that you must look at what is going
on in this moment.
In some ways, this approach can give us more
reassurance about a person's commitment. Every
day that they show up they are re-affirming
that they want to be there.
If someone can opt out at any moment, and
they still choose to be there, that is a powerful
sign of being committed!
So, can relationship anarchists commit? Of
course they can. They do it intentionally,
deliberately, with careful thought.
They recognize that not every commitment 
is from from now until the day they die, but
if they are there it means they fully and
completely want to be.
If you're a relationship anarchist, how do
you practice commitment? If you want to be
a part of the discussion, join our Facebook group, follow me on Twitter, or post a comment,
all which you will find down below. And thanks
for watching, bye!
