Okay, the first thing you have to know is that
Game of Thrones takes place on a fictional
continent called Westeros.
The Starks are a nice noble family who live
in Winterfell, a castle in the North. 
There’s Ned the patriarch, Arya the tomboy,
Sansa the proper lady,
Bran the mysterious one, and
Jon Snow the brooding bastard.
Ned leaves Winterfell and goes to King’s Landing,
the capitol, to help his old friend King Robert.
Long story short, the king’s wife, Cersei Lannister,
has the king killed,
Ned finds out stuff he shouldn’t, and Cersei
and her jerkwad son Joffrey, the new king,
execute him.
Ned’s son Robb and his wife Catelyn
declare war on the Lannisters,
King Robert’s brothers both want the throne
for themselves... it's a complete mess.
Eventually, the Lannisters win the war when
they plot to kill Robb and Catelyn at a wedding. 
But then, jerkwad King Joffrey
dies at his own wedding.
Everyone blames Tyrion Lannister,
who’s the black sheep of that family
even though he’s the nicest and smartest one.
He’s put on trial, there’s a duel to the death,
his brother Jaime breaks him out of prison
and then Tyrion kills his own father and
peaces out across the sea to Essos, which
is a whole other continent.
Once there, he joins up with Daenerys Targaryen,
the daughter of the crazy man who was
king years before any of this happened.
Dany’s been doing stuff this whole time.
She married a warlord, got rid of her abusive brother,
hatched a few dragons and built a big army.
She’s a badass
and now, Tyrion’s gonna help her reclaim
her father’s throne, which is currently occupied
by his big sister Cersei
Jon the brooding bastard joins the Night’s Watch,
which is supposed to defend Westeros 
from evil ice monsters called White Walkers
who live beyond the Wall, which is a giant
ice wall that runs coast to coast.
Jon goes beyond the Wall, he falls in love
with a girl who lives there, she dies, 
he becomes Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch,
and he tries really hard to convince
people to set aside their differences
and focus on the White Walker problem.
But his Night’s Watch brothers don’t want to hear it
and they kill him! They kill their boss!
But the spooky red witch who used to work
for King Robert’s brother is on hand
and she resurrects him.
Then Jon teams up with Sansa -- who’s gone
through her own journey, believe me --
to retake Winterfell from the awful Bolton family.
After that’s done, Jon is named King in the North.
That brings us to the most recent season,
where Dany and Tyrion return to Westeros
and fight Cersei for the Iron Throne. 
By the end of it, Jon has convinced Dany that the
White Walkers are the real threat,
but Cersei is being selfish and won’t help and
The last thing you should know is
that Jon and Dany are boning.
But what they don’t know, and what Bran
and Jon’s friend Sam do know, is that they’re related.
Jon grew up thinking he was a bastard,
but he’s really the trueborn son
of Dany’s older brother and Ned Stark’s sister,
which means he’s sleeping with his aunt. Awkward.
There’s more we could discuss -- we didn't even
get in to how Arya became a face-stealing assassin
but you’ve gotta watch to get all the details.
The final season airs April 14. Winter is coming.
