

The Sphere

A Sci-Fi adventure crossing the canvas of the fictional universe

The Sphere-World Series

Book 1

by

Anathea N. Krrill

Published November 2017

ANK InkPress (The author herself)

Copyright

Copyright 2017 by Anathea N. Krrill

All rights reserved.

This is a work of fiction.

All the characters, organizations, and events in this novel are either a product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author.

The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

Cover design by ANK

The Cover

The image of "Earth in a Cradle of Clouds", allegedly taken by the Hubble Space Telescope. It made a huge impact on the internet but later turned out to be 'fake news'.

I chose this image, altered it a bit myself. I actually like this image. I think it is striking, but at the same time, it creates a false impression – just like The Sphere creates an environment based solely on the imagination of whoever uses her.

Nothing is real!

I chose the cover as an allegory for everything The Sphere stands for: An artifact of unknown origin, a creator of unreality, yet beautiful in its appearance, unrivaled; an inspiration and an enigma alike. Something that could be real, but isn't.
Dedication

To Colin

Thank you for believing in me!

# PROLOGUE TO THE SPHERE-WORLD SERIES

When Maria-Sol first met Ah-dam, she fell in love. Threw herself right over the cliff and into the abyss!

He stood there – just stood and opened his arms to receive her. And she floated into him as if she didn't have a husband, didn't have any responsibilities, didn't have the rest of her life to drown in both unforgivable guilt and unbearable longing for his love.

And yet - at that moment - she felt neither: No remorse. No regret. No guilt.

They had a week - and one week only. Seven seconds – a tiny sliver of eternity.

# 1 – History (The Past Of A Distant Future)

Endless space! I take a deep breath. Vast darkness is all one can see standing on any of the 305 decks of Space Station Δ9. The first and possibly last station built at the exit of a wormhole.

We discovered WH_102Δ9ΞΩ3 – or wormhole Δ9 - in 2151, merely a light-year away from Earth. A short hop for space travel!

Earth! I conjure up the image of a blue-green globe hanging in space. The planet we all originated from, 5,000 years ago, is five billion light-years away. With wormhole Δ9 gone, it's out of reach!

We write the year 7288. My name is Bella ΞΙ. I'm 18 years old, and I was born on Δ9, like all the other 5,123 inhabitants.

Earth to us is less than a distant memory. It's ancient history.

I mentally wiggle my way back along the timeline. To the year 2076, when Dr. Glenys Marven - a physicist and engineer at MIT - harnessed the powers of antimatter. Her breakthrough research took long-distance space travel from improbable to possible. Marven built the prototype of the Antimatter-Propulsion (AMP) drive, which won her the Nobel Prize for physics as well as eternal fame.

AMP drives allow us to travel at virtually the speed of light – the only delay being the nanosecond it takes to convert matter into antimatter and back again.

Suddenly, distant planets and galaxies became accessible and wide open for exploration. The universe invited us, and we followed its call.

If we can trust the historical records, which are still stored and curated in the archives of space station Δ9, we charted every planet in our solar system within the following three decades and had our galaxy mapped by the end of the 22nd century.

Traveling at the speed of light requires computational powers far beyond those available at the beginning of the 21st century. Spatial positioning data and navigational command signals need to be transmitted and processed faster than the traveling speed of the vessel. The development of neuronal network based quantum-nano-computers made traveling at the speed of light possible. The late 21st century prospered regarding technology, and the gargantuan explosion of knowledge created an intellectual climate allowing inventors, enterprises, governments, and dreamers to thrive equally.

Marven's successors improved and scaled her AMP drive to power larger vessels and so laid the foundation for the engineering of self-contained spaceships, designed to travel for years, decades, or even centuries at the speed of light before finding their final orbit in some faraway part of our galaxy.

Humankind started to colonize space.

Like space plankton, hundreds of ships drifted through the interstellar abyss, powered by the most sophisticated technology known to humankind. Thousands ventured into the unknown, driven by scientific curiosity and the urge to explore, and the majority never returned. They settled at their final anchor place and so colonized the galaxy. The space plankton became sessile and made a hostile environment home.

I close my eyes, allowing myself to imagine; to assume there are still thousands of thriving space stations within a hundred light-years from Earth, dotted throughout the deserts of outer space and like oases create welcoming refuges for the nomadic space travelers. In my imagination, the space nomads travel the vast expanse of the universe, bringing goods and news and a much-welcomed change to any space station's routine. In exchange, they receive goods, news, and gossip and so distribute them throughout the universe.

This used to be our reality. But over 5,000 years ago, a cosmic event brutally severed our ties to this community. The nomads lived a life in motion. Much like the space pioneers, who first ventured on a no-return journey to explore and learn. Or just for the sake of the adventure.

Those endeavors date back to the 21st century when the first manned mission to Mars saw a group of 100 selected individuals set off for their one-way journey on the 25th of November 2035. The team reached the red planet eight months later on 12 July 2036.

A mere century later, Mars was colonized, reshaped, tamed, and left with little secrets to explore. When the red planet was at its maximum distance from Earth – just over 400 million kilometers away - it took no more than 18 minutes to get there. On average, it would take two-and-a-half minutes to reach it. Which made the journey to Mars about as daunting as getting sweets from a 21st-century retailer.

Not that we do much retail anymore. On Δ9, we abolished the concept of shopping and money in 2701 at the beginning of the New Era. Try as I might, but I can't quite picture what an ancient retail palace might have looked like.

Space station Δ9 is situated five billion light-years from Earth, in a galaxy known by its historic name as PKS B1740-517. There are no other space stations in this quadrant of the universe. The idea of Space Station Δ9 was conceived following the discovery of wormhole Δ9 in 2151. The technical ability to convert traveling matter into antimatter and vice versa opened the possibility to use wormholes as shortcuts through space and time.

I'm not a physicist, but every child knows that matter can't travel through wormholes, yet antimatter can. A concept which is as beautiful as it is simple.

Pioneering wormhole travels began in the year 2200. The technology was developed, established, and soon thereafter, an ambitious project took shape: The construction of 'Space Station Delta 9' at the exit of Wormhole WH_102Δ9ΞΩ3, which connected the Milky Way galaxy with PKS B1740-517.

The development of Δ9 started in the year 2231, and the initial hub was completed by 2340. The following colonization and expansion period lasted until the year 2500. During those years, the size of Δ9 ballooned from the original 30 decks to the current 305 decks.

The population increased, and demographics shifted over time. At first, it was the engineers, scientists, pioneers, and historians flocking to this alien environment. The far distance enabled historians and geologists to study Earth in a very early stage of its development when it was still nothing more than a bulk of hot loose gases in the solar nebula, from which our solar system formed by gravitational collapse about 4.6 billion years ago.

This pioneering period must have been thrilling!

The ghost of past excitement races across my skin, raising goosebumps in its wake.

The discoveries were so exciting and groundbreaking, that many paradigms shattered, shifted, or vanished altogether. Entire new theories and ideas emerged from their rubble. They caused such controversies within the scientific community that Earth's government decided to engineer exit ports along wormhole Δ9 to allow for the establishment of scientific observation posts, equipped with permanent scientific instrumentation to take continuous readings of Earth as it developed over the eons.

The agreement was to build such observatories at distances of a billion light-years along the stretch of the wormhole. Technologies to create wormhole-ports developed quickly, and the construction of the closest Earth Observatory, EO-1bn, was completed before the end of 2599.

By this time, scientists and engineers left Δ9 and made space for the settlers, who arrived to make a living in an environment as exotic and alien as the abyssal plains of the oceans were at the end of the 20th century.

I studied Earth's history. I am a descendant of 166 generations of historians – a space-stationer born and bred. In our society, it is a tradition to pass on trades and their accumulated knowledge from parent to child. It used to be like this on Earth thousands of years ago before the size of family-groups decreased and family ties stopped counting for much.

It saddens me to think that family breakups became common, and in some cases, families never formed. Globalization contributed to the decay of family values, and novel forms of societies were established. Families and friendships still existed, but often people forged ties globally rather than locally. Some never met in person but got acquainted via mutual-interest social media sites. Life on Earth was very different from life as we know it on Δ9.

In the confinement of the space station, it is nearly impossible not to know every one of the other 5,123 inhabitants. We stopped relying on telecommunication systems since physical distances within our habitat is not an issue, and so face-to-face communication became the norm again.

We also have a long time to get to know each other. Our average life expectancy increased from a mere 99 years in 2200 to over 300 years within the past five millennia. Courtesy to the virtual exclusion of new pathogens to the space station, which resulted in an environment as good as sterile, only beneficial microbes exist. All human pathogens – including bacteria, fungi, and viruses - have been eradicated over 4,000 years ago. And since there are no outsiders who could contaminate our habitat, we need not take great precautions to prevent epidemic illnesses.

When we started to colonize space, we feared that reduced gravity might cause weakening of the muscle tone and lead to cardiovascular problems. But we noticed that the vastly reduced strain on our cardiovascular system proved beneficial in the long term. In the long run, human bodies adapt perfectly well to reduced gravity, and reduction in gravity allows the heart and blood vessels to work under significantly reduced pressure. The combined effects of a favorable environment and reduction of physiological stress enable us to live to an average age of 300 years.

As I said before: we have a lot of time to get to know each other.

Everybody has access to food, shelter, education, medical treatment, and leisure activities. We are all equal, and nobody is valued above others. We don't discriminate against people for their heritage or ancestry.

Everybody has his or her place in our little society. We don't judge, and we don't punish. Rebellion is a rare occurrence. Besides - what would one rebel against? We can't wreck the place, leave it, and go elsewhere.

There is not a lot we can do to make changes happen.

We live in a closed and self-contained system. We don't mine or harvest materials from space. We don't have provisions shipped in. To us, recycling is more than an ideology; it is what sustains us. It is our lifeline!

Refining and fine-tuning our recycling systems ultimately allowed us to survive in the hostile environment of outer space.

I can't imagine the duress of the first decades of the New Era following the wormhole collapse, which left us stranded and cut off from Earth. The population of Δ9 was at its maximum, counting 10,000 souls. A number estimated to be an ideal population size based on the requirement to receive regular supplies from home. Calculations showed us we needed to reduce our population size to about 6,000 individuals to maintain a self-sustaining environment.

The average age of the inhabitants at the time of the catastrophe was 45 years. In 2700, the average life expectancy was 123 years for women and 121 years for men. We had a minimum of 50 years of severe austerity to face before the population would decrease to a level, where starvation, ill health, and squalor wouldn't be threatening the fabric of our society any longer.

Our ancestors didn't expect the social unrest triggered by rationing and cramped living conditions as much as despair, homesickness, and an epidemic of general poor mental health.

I wrap my arms around my middle, steadying myself. I don't particularly savor exploring those times. But it is important to remind myself why I am here today.

Many stationers had families back on Earth, whom they would never see again. This – although causing unimaginable pain among those affected - was not the worst. Many of them buckled under the strain of being unable to let their loved ones know they were still alive and well.

To this day, we have no idea, if anybody on planet Earth knows for sure, that the space station survived the fatal collapse of wormhole Δ9.

For all we know, they assume us long perished.

Five billion light-years is an unimaginable distance. The light we detect coming from planet Earth in the space station's observatory has traveled for five billion years when it finally reaches us.

What we see today, from our vantage point, is five-billion-year-old news regarding Earth's history. Light traveling from Δ9 towards Earth has yet to travel for five billion years before we will start to exist as far as an observer on Earth is concerned.

Venturing this deep into space, allowed us to study the 'younger light' and therefore the present status of constellations, stars, and galaxies, which we could not back on Earth due to their immense distances. We were able to update the ancient stellar charts we brought with us from Earth and explain some of the more obscure observations made back in those long-gone days.

Five billion years allow for a lot of changes and evolution. In a sense, we are time travelers by observing stellar objects at very long distances. Living in outermost space means we have lost all communications with Earth. If we send a light-based signal, it will reach Earth in five billion years. To receive an answer would take 10 billion years.

I shut my eyes and suppress the void which is expanding within the depth of my guts.

Current calculations estimate that Sol – the sun that powers life in our solar system – will swell up to become a red giant and bake our planet to a crisp in five billion years' time. Things may go pear-shaped in our solar system well before, though. Scientists believe planetary orbits could destabilize, and planets could smash into each other within the next 50 million years - give or take.

We space-stationers will not know what happened to Earth until five billion years have passed. And who knows what fate will have befallen our tiny, vulnerable space-tin by this time anyway?

These and other issues have occupied our thinkers, scientists, and historians, but our data is insufficient to predict possible outcomes.

Some geneticists tell us not to worry because our station will outlast our society. Just because inbreeding limits the genetic pool, which eventually will become too small to sustain a healthy genetic variety.

While this is a merely theoretical problem, our society had to face more serious issues over the centuries.

The immediate need to feed, cloth, and medically treat a population, which by far exceeded the space station's carrying capacity, overtaxed the people. Although the authorities immediately rationed stocks and redirected resources in order to improve recycling and sustainability, social unrest grew.

Fear of starvation was not the first issue to arise. Most people, who lived and worked on the space station, did not intend to spend their entire life here. They came predominantly for the adventure and the opportunity to distinguish themselves from competition back home. The average worker clocked seven years on Δ9 before they left for new horizons.

At the time of the wormhole collapse, a quarter of the population was due to leave the station within the next couple of months. Those were the hardest hit by the catastrophe. Not only did they have to deal with the immediate isolation, despair, and fear of the future, but also with the immense disappointment of not being able to see home ever again! Dreams of a reunion with their loved ones shattered; the loss of an existence they might have wanted to carve out for themselves after returning. 10,000 people stranded in space. 10,000 hopes, dreams, fears, and their accumulated paranoia. And only precious little resources to keep them from going into mental overdrive. The confinement of the station and the hopelessness of the situation stirred this cauldron of brewing unrest. The result was an outbreak of a cabin fever of unprecedented proportions. People went stir-crazy! There was not enough space to get away from each other, and not enough distraction to occupy their minds. Ironically, the psychologically trained were the first to buckle under the immense pressure of an unsolvable conundrum. The status quo could not persist, and contingency plans did not exist. The scenario of becoming cut off from Earth and getting stranded in deep space had not made it into the emergency books. In hindsight, this seems like an obvious blunder – one that could have been avoided. This lack of an appropriate emergency plan and the absence of a strong leader at a time of great turmoil created a hotbed for social uprising and mutiny.

A multitude of minor problems can create a colossal disaster.

Poor fortunes had it that our commander-in-chief went to Earth prematurely because he suffered a rare form of cancer, which we now know is caused by extensive travel through wormholes. The standard protocol for a station commander demanded to stay with the station until a relief-officer would arrive. Commander James L Lewis's condition was so grave, doctors breached protocol and sent him off duty early. We believe he died on his way back in the collapsing wormhole, as did relief-commander Nathan B Thorne, who never made it to the station. Second Officer William James Howard took the helm.

Unfortunately, Commander Howard had a predisposition of fragile mental health. His unstable psyche made him prone to a lack of proper judgment and a tendency to ignore excellent advice from his subordinates. His physician noticed and reported the mental instability of Commander William J. Howard, but lax bureaucracy prevented his swift detachment from the top-ranking position he held on the leadership team of the space station.

At first, everything seemed to run a normal course. The collapse caused many minor and a few major incidents. The engineers carried out the emergency procedures and swiftly performed repairs and resets according to protocol. It took less than four weeks to repair all the life support systems and to restore communications – not that communications mattered much then. And in hindsight, putting vital resources into the effort of rebuilding a redundant system was probably William J. Howard's first severely flawed decision as commander-in-chief of Δ9. Because he prioritized the repair of non-vital systems over covering the basic needs of the 10,000 inhabitants, essential resources got withdrawn from the life support systems, and hundreds were weakened and died of malnutrition and exhaustion or committed suicide because of poor mental health. Four months after the wormhole collapse, the people of Δ9 were in real trouble. They'd used up emergency rations, and life support systems – including hydroponics and recycling services – could not cope with even the most basic demands of the population.

The situation was critical, and the first voices of uprising emerged. Darwin and his 'survival of the fittest' was one of the most commonly abused concepts of this dark period.

At the time of the collapse, the youngest inhabitant was 23 years of age – a student who won the trip-of-a-lifetime in a raffle. The oldest – a shield engineer - was still hungover from his 60th birthday party when the mighty eddies of the wormhole collapse shook the space station.

There were no children, teenagers, or pensioners present. There were five pregnant women. A sixth lost her baby due to shock following the catastrophic events. In total, there were 7,132 men and 2,868 women on the station – a massive imbalance favoring testosterone-fueled conflicts, which broke out shortly after.

The heating systems were running at a minimum and temperatures rarely crept above minus five degrees Celsius. The freezing and starving population fought over food and blankets.

The 'leadership cast' lived in reasonable luxury, well-fed in comparatively warm quarters. The high-ranking officers reasoned the leaders needed extra sustenance and warmth to be able to make the best decisions for the crew of the space station. And despite being warned by the leading physicians, 'that hunger and cold could soon result in mutiny,' Commander Howard dismissed their concerns and carried on striking the wrong path.

In the second year of the New Era, William J. Howard's blundering, total disregard of common sense and social justice led to the Great Uprising, in which a group of hundred mutineers captured Commander Howard and put him on public trial. The trial lasted a year, and everybody was invited to give evidence of their sufferings. The overwhelming attestation gathered against Commander Howard was collected in 'The 100 books of Injustices'. Each volume is over 1,000 pages long, and I studied every single one in detail. My heart twists with brutal pangs of emphatic pain every time I think about those days.

The authorities relegated Commander Howard to serve at the Recycling Center, where he set the foundation for an improved matter recycler, after experiencing first hand, how much the space station needed such a device. An environmental engineer by trade, he invented a system, which permitted virtual loss-free separation of any organic matter into its mineral compounds, amino acids, fats, and carbohydrates. He then reversed the process in a manner that allowed creating simple foods by reforming those building blocks. Crude and basic it was, but it was the crucial step in the right direction to meet the minimum nutritional demands of the community. Its much-refined descendant feeds us space-stationers today.

With social unrest beginning to settle, and people gaining confidence in their new leaders, a fresh spirit created a healthier, more emphatic, and well-organized society.

The New Society slowly but surely transformed a cauldron of fear, hate, and defamation into something amicable at first, and evolved into a model society of mutual respect and understanding. After five generations of confinement in space, blood ties, friendship, or both bound most of the inhabitants together.

Hating your neighbors, declaring war, and killing them is easy if you don't know them. The petty circumstances, which have the potential to spark a feud or even wars, did not exist a century after the wormhole collapse. People forged bonds, formed families, and learned to work toward common goals rather than fight against each other. Technical advances in food production, waste recycling, and general improvement of the social and physical environment helped to create a convivial atmosphere.

The stationers implemented population control measures and frequently assessed the emotional state of the inhabitants.

Today, 4,500 years after the wormhole collapse, life on the space station runs its course like a well-oiled machine.

# 2 - The Sphere (An Enigma From Outer Space)

The most significant challenge 500 years after the event was boredom. With no influx of either discoveries or innovative ideas, the floodgates were open to ennui. It crept in – unnoticeable at first – but more rapidly with every passing year.

Initially, the government kept it in check by encouraging people to learn as much as they wanted, for as long as they could. People were satisfied at first, but soon the younger generation craved for something more adventurous than what the antiquated books offered. Everything was outdated: Science, medicine, engineering – even history had not advanced as far as Earth was concerned.

500 years of living in the sump of a stagnant lifestyle and without forward-thinking ideas felt like hell.

Boredom is a fertile breeding ground for discontentment and unrest. The government - bogged down with the mundane importance of surviving on a space station cut adrift from its mother planet - did nothing to alleviate this tedium. Monotony wasn't classed as a serious threat to society.

The discovery of The Sphere in the year 3205 provided a much-needed break.

On 23 October, the spotters on duty got lucky! Their scanners picked up a small, but dense spherical object about 50 million kilometers from the space station. A stone's throw away! The discovery immediately plunged the space station into a state of childlike excitement. The carnival was coming to town!

The crew dusted off the remaining space glider, Eagle I, and prepared for launch. The trained pilots had only ever piloted the space glider in the simulator. Never for real! The flight simulator owed its existence solely to the fact that it was one of the few facilities, which served a purpose and provided a level of entertainment for a society, which slowly but inevitably succumbed to boredom. Space glider pilots Jason Kwist and Susan Rome set off on a reconnaissance mission to The Sphere. A curious globe, five meters in diameter, surrounded by an aura of pulsing, green light.

After much deliberation, it was determined the artifact posed no threat, and the government made the decision to make use of this unprecedented and unexpected bounty.

Eagle I towed the blob into the quarantine dock where it stayed the next six months undergoing extensive and repeated decontamination procedures as well as scientific scrutiny. For the first time in centuries, Δ9 buzzed with excitement! Scientists spent long hours examining the globe and discussing its putative origin. Non-scientists got equally involved, and the communal areas within the station filled up with people engaged in animated conversations.

Nobody knew the origin of The Sphere. It appeared out of nowhere! Nobody saw it coming. Not the sentinels. Not the long- or short-range sensors, which continuously scan the vicinity and the more distant neighborhood of the space station for interstellar threats - such as meteors or ionic radiation waves.

Bitter bile forces its way up my throat. I know more about The Sphere than anybody else on the space station. But I can never tell.

The existence of aliens, deities, and even the possibility of it being a rescue pod sent from Earth via another putative wormhole portal were topics, setting minds and imaginations on fire.

The Sphere itself is an unassuming artifact: five meters in diameter, the material is of unknown composition. And despite entirely absorbing light of all wavelengths, it appears gray-green, like Earth's oceans, and not black as expected. It hovers a meter off the ground on a pillar of compacted light. And although the material itself is very dense, The Sphere can be moved around with little effort, and it rolls mid-air on its cushion of peculiar greenish light.

It took another century before scientists and government finally decided it was about time and safe enough to get up close and personal with The Sphere. A team of scientists and anthropologists (there was still a vague possibility of alien life forms residing inside) approached The Sphere. Emotions ran high among the space-stationers. Voices grew loud to abandon the mission and 'send The Sphere back to where it belongs to.' The truth is: to this day, nobody knows where it came from – so these voices were soon drowned out and ridiculed. A sense of aliveness swept through the community and people were in high spirits – apart from the 'doomers and gloomers', who painted an apocalyptic scenario. Much like the fanatic, self-proclaimed messiahs of the pre-antimatter area back on Earth.

Scientific evidence tells us it's not the wrath of the gods triggering catastrophic events, but powerful natural phenomena, which humankind has no personal experience of within the confines of a space station. Of the possible extinction-level events, like volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, mega-storms, or global warming, the ones we may encounter in outer space are collisions with meteors or deadly high-energy ion radiation waves. The space station is well-equipped to deal with those. Early warning systems for approaching stellar objects or smaller debris, which can be destructive if colliding with the station, are in place. Ion radiation shelters are set up in the innermost core of the space station, to where the deadly rays can't penetrate. Compared to the constant geophysical threats back on Earth, natural hazards to a space station are fewer and less frequent. But centuries of living in an alien environment taught humankind to be prudent. With limited resources and redundancies, approaching The Sphere was a risky undertaking. Dr. Clarissa Walker, the lead scientist of 'Operation Approach,' was the first one to make contact with The Sphere. The events that unfolded, following her touching The Sphere, are written down in historical scripts, scientific books, and fairy tales. People can also watch it on Space Station Channel I: It's a classic!

I have watched and enjoyed it many times. I get comfortable in an imaginary armchair, getting ready to revisit the day.

Clarissa Walker approached The Sphere, one arm hesitantly stretched out in front of her, ready to retreat at any time. She walked with her awkward heavy-duty hazmat suit, kitted out with a helmet camera, and a communication system. Clarissa's breathing transmitted over the intercom: Raspy and a bit too fast to sound comfortable. The spectators in the observation area surrounding the quarantine dock were on edge. A two-meter thick layer of Nano-Steel – a see-through polymer composite – a hundred times stronger than steel, yet flexible like rubber and incredibly lightweight, separated the observation area from the dock where The Sphere was still hovering on its pillar of light over a century after it entered. The science spectacular got broadcast via the visual communication unit in a rare holographic display.

As Clarissa inched closer, The Sphere changed. The solid gray-green surface blurred, swirled, and formed eddies.

Clarissa hesitated. Perspiration dampened the inside of her hazmat suit. She was uncomfortable, hot, and bothered. Her gloved hands worried the tight neck seal as if she wanted to rip it off and take a cooling shower. But she proceeded in her approach. A soft glowing waft of greenish mist surrounded The Sphere, which only became visible to Clarissa once she got closer.

Then - almost in touching distance - she vanished!

She didn't just fade or blur. One second she was there – the next one she was gone!

A scream rose simultaneously from 6,000 throats! Then silence, heavy with shock, settled over the spectators.

The scientists inside the dock were the first ones to move again. They took to their heels and scrambled to be the first out. Panic and mayhem ensued.

Exactly 10 seconds passed before Clarissa reappeared as instantaneously and unexpectedly as she'd disappeared earlier. She looked around somewhat puzzled before she marched determined toward the decontamination lock and demanded, "Open up the dock! The Sphere is no threat to us!"

The engineer in charge of the high-security locks obeyed in his trance-like state and freed The Sphere from its confinement. As soon as the dock opened, The Sphere made its way towards the main observation deck where it rooted itself firmly on its pillar of light.

It hasn't moved in 4,000 years.

Clarissa's account of what unfolded after The Sphere took her in sounds like science fiction, even to this day.

I close my eyes in reverie. I know every single word by heart.

"I got sucked in by The Sphere – I can't describe it in any other way. I stood, preparing to touch the structure when the layer of surrounding gas swallowed me. One second I was outside, the next one I found myself inside the blackest, most enormous, emptiest space I have ever encountered. I was floating through the farthest parts of the universe. It was so dark I couldn't even see the frequent flashes of light that usually appear when closing my eyes. There was no sound either, yet I felt calm, so calm, and happy." A dreamy smile, full of awe and childlike curiosity, illuminated her face. "I should have been anxious or panicky, but all I felt was serenity and a sense of well-being." She shook her head in disbelief. "Perhaps I was so close to breaking point, my emotional pendulum swung the other way. But I don't believe that. I think The Sphere made me feel relaxed and happy. I saw a dimly glowing glove-like structure floating right in front of my face. Hovering as if it was waiting for me to pull it on. I couldn't – my hazmat gloved hands were far too big. I did the only thing that made sense to me in the situation: I removed my hazmat glove and slipped my hand into the floating object before me. The glove matched my hand like it had been made to measure."

(At this point, the interview is interrupted by an audible gasp and anxious murmurs from the examination panel).

Clarissa continued to speak, her expression remaining calm and relaxed, clearly enjoying the rendition of the events.

"What happened next was the most fantastic thing I ever experienced: in front of my eyes and all around me, the blackness vanished, and I found myself on the surface of Mars. Or a landscape looking like the surface of Mars. Just as I remember it from videos and books of the first manned landing. In minute detail. And I stood there – I could breathe, and I was warm and comfortable, although I had no spacesuit on and should have died within nanoseconds of either expanding tissue damage, exposure, or both." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, a blissed-out smile on her face. "I remembered my childhood and the countless times I dreamed of the first manned mission to Mars. How I wanted to be a space explorer! A pioneer! Ah, how often I imagined standing on the surface of Mars before it got fully colonized! Now, I was there. I was there, and I experienced every little detail! I could see for miles and miles. I started to walk. I saw the Orion – the ship that took The First Hundred \- which now served as part of the habitats. I entered, I explored, and I saw all the achievements. I encountered a Martian storm which forced me to hunker down in the 'Greenhouse' for three days before I could carry on. I took a Mars-rover and drove beyond the outer perimeters of the camp. It was breathtaking – everything looked pristine and well maintained. People were missing from the scenery. Where The Hundred should have been working, sleeping, exploring, and chatting, there was nobody. Nevertheless, I found everything I needed to allow for a comfortable stay on Mars for the 10 days I spent there."

And that was it! Her report caused a massive stir in the scientific community. Everybody witnessed her disappear and reappear within 10 seconds. Yet, she claimed, she spent 10 days on Mars. 10 days! On Mars, of all places! Almost as far away as Earth itself and therefore, out of reach. Furthermore, she reported she could move around for miles within the five-meter enclosure of The Sphere and even see the universe around Mars. It was unbelievable!

At first, her account of what happened inside The Sphere got dismissed as the crazed reaction of a human mind when faced with a life-threatening situation.

Dr. Clarissa Walker was adamant. Her report of what she experienced, how she described everything down to the last minute detail, and last but not least the readouts of her vitals during her stay inside The Sphere which didn't indicate signs of panic prompted scientists to lobby for further explorations inside The Sphere.

The High Commander decided not to release the account of Clarissa's first contact to avoid causing mayhem and unrest within the community.

More scientists went to explore The Sphere, and every one of them came back with stories of a different scenario. None of them spent more than 10 seconds inside The Sphere, but without fail, all of them claimed to have stayed inside for days. Nobody ever reported anxiety or panic attacks, and their biometric readings confirmed their claims.

At first, scientists blamed the release of vast amounts of endorphins for the delusions, which they attributed to the mind's coping mechanism. However hard they searched for evidence of an endorphin-storm, as they deemed the phenomenon, scientists failed to measure a significant increase in brain chemicals during or after a stint inside The Sphere. The concentrations measured, could not explain more than normal levels of excitement and joy, which the researchers venturing inside admittedly experienced.

Over the following months, it became apparent that The Sphere creates a unique environment for each individual. The landscapes and experiences conjured by the artifact seem to be tailor made to please the visitor. Another peculiarity is the perception of time. A second spent inside feels equivalent to a whole day to the visitor.

An industrious period of scientific examinations, data gathering, and analyses followed, and once the scientists concluded The Sphere was safe to visit, posing no threat to the people, a station gathering was held. Everybody was finally informed about the unique and peculiar properties of The Sphere, and the public was invited to experience it firsthand. Therefore, spending time inside The Sphere became the most popular recreational pastime since.

# 3 - Imagining Worlds

However curious the properties of The Sphere seemed at first, the novelty wore off within mere decades.

One might imagine The Sphere to be a source of endless entertainment, exploration, and exciting encounters. However, it requires user input. Imagination. Passion. And zest for life. Without a vivid imagination, The Sphere is unable to conjure up a stimulating environment. She will present users lacking creativity or interests with a dull experience - shallow in emotional engagement, colorless, and boring in the landscape. Using The Sphere to its full potential requires passion, immersion into one's imagination, and the ability to approach whatever The Sphere throws at you with an open mind. It is a place where one can explore their inner self and interact with nature in a way impossible within the confines of the space station.

There are limitations. The Sphere will allow one person at the time. Trials to get more than one user to share failed. There is one glove, and only the person wearing it encounters the sphere-environment. The Sphere, however, welcomes animals to be part of the human experience.

I know, because I look after two horses – Silvercloud and Alchemist – and my dog, Digger. I am privileged to have them. And to allow them to live as naturally as possible, we spend at least five seconds inside The Sphere each day.

I have been visiting The Sphere from the age of six. It's the earliest we allow a child to use The Sphere. The younger ones often can't find their way out of the maze of their imaginary world, and it's difficult to extract a person engaging with their sphere-world. In the years following the discovery, The Sphere's unique properties left 10 young children traumatized. We don't know what causes this, but our shrinks think terror and fear often dominate young children's imagination. They conjure evil forces, like the devil, trolls, evil spirits, lingering in their immature consciousness. These fears typically manifest themselves in nightmares, night terrors, and irrational anxieties, which can shape their sphere-worlds. Most children have grown out of them by the age of six.

I never encountered a human being inside The Sphere, and I'm not aware of anybody who did. There are occasional gossips about individuals using the privacy of The Sphere to meet with imaginary lovers, whores, or long-lost friends. Nobody can tell whether these rumors are true, or whether they are as much a figment of the imagination as the sphere-worlds themselves.

The Sphere doesn't tell. She guards her secrets well!

The Sphere revitalized our society. Daily life got injected with things to talk about based on adventures inside. Old books and digital records came to life, and people were happy to share their experiences. Folks took up hobbies, started to pursue fresh interests – things they couldn't do before the discovery of The Sphere. Scuba diving, hang gliding, horse riding, and even gardening became popular pastimes once again.

I met Barnes three years ago after I graduated from the first stage of becoming an accredited historian. 15 might sound young to graduate, but in our society, we pursue our vocation, which we inherit from our parents, from the word go. I grew up in quarters where the old stories and ancient history are as much part of daily life as are the present and the future. And I love it!

I spotted Barnes meandering through the small side hall of the library where I work; seemingly aimlessly scrolling the shelves from left to right, up and down, and across, before wandering off to another shelf. He was looking for something specific. I approached him, introduced myself, and offered my assistance. He looked me up and down as if to determine whether I was worth his time. Then he harrumphed and turned away.

"You are rude." There was no need to be polite! I knew who he was, and he had a reputation for being ill-mannered and dismissive. My hackles were all up, and my fangs bared.

He stopped mid-turn, unhurriedly came back to face me, and threw me a mocking smile.

"Yer a feisty lass, Bella ΞΙ. I havena come across one of yer kind in quite a while. How refreshing!" He turned away and continued browsing.

Taken aback by his impertinence, I tried again.

"Perhaps I can help you find whatever it is you are after?" I offered. "Just ask me?"

He pensively rubbed his chin as he considered my offer.

"Ye wouldna know a thing about English rose gardens, would ya? 'specially the ones the Channel Islands were famous for?"

"Depends..." I had no intention to make this easy for him.

He threw his arms up and turned away from me yet again.

"Yer as ignorant and useless as all ye others!" he shouted.

I was fuming! "Don't call me 'ignorant', because I'm not. And call me 'useless' only after I failed to help you!" My face heated up, and I drew my brows together, so they formed deep furrows on my forehead - the way they do when I am angry or concentrating. My mother, who is conscientious about looks, always tells me off for 'making myself look older than I am.' 'No point jeopardizing my good looks for this old grumbler.' "So – tell me what you have in mind... then I can at least try to be of help." I stood my ground with my arms crossed in front of my chest.

"Thought I told ya already. English rose gardens is what I'm after."

"Could you be more specific? Are you interested in varieties of roses, the design of gardens, soil requirements, planting, tending, pruning, or..."

His eyes lit up. "Aye, and aye, aye... all of that. Whateva you 'ave, I want. I..." he stumbled over his words. "I mean – where do I start?"

"Let's have a look through the archives first; do a quick check of what's available, and then we can narrow it down." Looking for historical records is easy if you know where to start. Finding a starting point is often the hardest thing. His sudden outburst of enthusiasm mollified me. I was confident I could to send him on his way with a load of material in no time. The two of us were still stuck in historical records, recordings, and images three hours later.

Barnes was exhilarated. "Neva thought I would learn so much about English rose gardens in such a short time. I had no idea! There is so much to learn..." He leaned back in his comfortable air-cushioned floating chair. "I'll require another lifetime to put all of this into practice. I dunna know where to start!"

"Why not talk to the hydroponists first?" I suggested.

"Nah, lass. Ye dunna get me. I'm researching to landscape my own rose garden inside The Sphere. A nice rose garden, overlooking the English Channel, a white cottage by the sea..." His gaze trailed off, and the soft longing on his face took decades off his 200-something years.

I knew how he felt. I love being with The Sphere myself. The seconds I spend inside with my animals are the best days of my life.

In the beginning, we rationed allocated sphere-time. Simple mathematical calculations tell us an Earth day has 86,400 seconds. So in theory each of the 6,000 inhabitants could spend 14.4 seconds each day inside The Sphere. Taking into account the time it would take to enter, don the glove, and exit again – a process estimated to take no more than five to six seconds should allow each inhabitant to spend roughly eight to nine seconds each day inside The Sphere.

Turned out, the calculation was somewhat skewed. This is down to yet another extraordinary property of The Sphere itself. When measuring the total time span from a person's departure to reappearance, it becomes apparent that the perceived time in days spent inside equals the actual time of their disappearance in seconds. The time it takes to step inside, don the glove, and exit is of no relevance – regardless of how long the user takes for those tasks. It is as if this time doesn't exist.

The physicists rolled in this finding but failed to come up with a convincing explanation.

The accepted theory is that the space-time continuum around The Sphere is somehow distorted or warped to allow for this time-lapse to happen.

This effect is not more or less of a wonder than what happens inside The Sphere.

As expected, the interest in The Sphere was enormous at first. People couldn't wait to get their share of the experience. But the initial enthusiasm soon peaked and declined rapidly. At least 30 percent of the population lacks the imagination to make their sphere-time an enjoyable experience. We soon banned children under the age of six, and many adults stopped using The Sphere altogether. Be it for the lack of imagination or the inability to spend time on their own in the vast and alien environment, born from their own imagination and displayed to them by the artifact.

I helped Barnes dig up the information he needed to envision his whitewashed cottage on the Isle of Jersey in the English Channel - including a rose garden with all the trimmings.

We investigated the art of planting and maintaining a rose garden, but we also looked into the in-depth details of soil composition and layout of the land. We researched the tidal patterns, their range, and the temperature of the ocean surrounding the island. We drew maps and used mind-imaging technology to allow Barnes to get a visual of his research. We worked on the project for three months before he was satisfied to go into The Sphere and 'give it a go.'

He went in for three minutes and emerged a transformed man. Gone was 'the old grumbler' and a happier, more relaxed Barnes emerged. He had a smile on his face and a youthful spring in his gait. Gone were all the creaks and the stiffness from his movements.

Barnes felt alive again!

Once out, he didn't rest. He wanted to know more. He wanted to improve his experience. We researched cottage interiors, wood fires, how to catch fish, how to gut and cook them. We did the same for oysters, rabbits, and sheep. We learned how to keep chickens and how to use their manure along with the ashes of a wood fire to nourish the soil around the rose bushes.

This was my first extensive project, and it grabbed my imagination! I recognized my burning desire to learn about things I never knew existed. And for the first time, I experienced the satisfaction I gain from helping my clients create their perfect environment. By the time I celebrated my 16th birthday, I had developed a reputation as a Sphere Interior Designer: a profession unique in the universe as far as I know. People come to me for my advice, and I help them research the things they want most. They allow me to enter their thoughts, and more often than not, I can help them create their perfect sphere-environment.

A selected few, like Barnes, are after something authentic. Others are happy with an artificial environment as long as they can relate to it.

I enjoy helping in any way possible, but I prefer jobs demanding a high level of authenticity. Because it is the research requiring my skills as a historian as well as my skills as an imaginist.

Needless to say: the environment I created for myself is authentic and imaginative. When The Sphere sucks me in and I stand in the perfect darkness to wait for the glove to mold itself to my outstretched hand, I close my eyes. And when the cool, gel-like material slips over my hand, I open them again, and I can see my home.

I live in Canada, off the coast of British Columbia. Beautiful, serene, but also wild and untamed. I live in a log house which stands close to a lake so limpid I can see all the way to its bottom. My house stands in the foothills of a mountain range, which towers over my backyard, and the open ocean is less than an hour's ride away. Dense rainforests with massive evergreen trees, fairy fern hanging off the ancient giants' branches like old men's beards, the fresh smell of the churning rivers, and the scent of rotting leaves littering the dark forest floor, which hardly ever sees any sunlight, create the magic of this country.

I love to swim in 'my lake' and dry off in the sun-drenched meadow in front of my cabin. The horses and Digger – always grazing, playing, and chasing each other – provide me with entertainment. It's here where I feel alive, free, and complete. I crave this place. I'm at peace, and I allow my mind to wander wherever it pleases to. In my imagination, I expand the place. I envisage it far beyond what I can see, and then I explore. That's how I know where the ocean lies and what it feels like to be on top of a mountain. I camp out in the open. The wild animals don't bother me, and we don't bother them. We respect each other.

I could stash my pantry with the most luxurious delicacies, but I prefer to catch fish, pick berries, or eat tubers, and create delicious, experimental dishes. I have bags of corn flour, wheat flour, dried herbs and fruit, pine nuts, and acorns, smoked sides of salmon and trout stocked in my pantry. When I'm in the space station, I drink coffee. When I'm in British Columbia, I stick to herbal tea. I love my life, and if I were the last person on Δ9, I would spend the rest of my life inside The Sphere.

I was lazing around, stretched out to dry in the sun-drenched meadow, content, my limbs heavy and tired after a long swim, when a piercing bolt of fear struck me! Coming out of nowhere, it brutally jolted me into an upright position.

'What if The Sphere breaks? What if The Sphere leaves us?'

Out of the blue! It terrified me! To think we could lose The Sphere!

'Fool!' I can be silly sometimes. There was no indication that The Sphere was damaged in any way, shape, or form, or that it might suddenly float off into space.

It chose its place and stayed rooted for almost 4,000 years. Still, my hammering heart and the queasiness in my stomach told me my visceral nervous system disagreed with my rationale.

'Should I see a shrink?' They would probably tell me to socialize more and spend less time inside The Sphere – just like my mum. She kept telling me to find friends and do things. I don't know what I would do on the space station. The activities I enjoy – swimming, riding, planting, foraging, chopping wood – I can't do on the space station. There are no facilities for those mundane things. I follow my passions inside The Sphere. Alone.

Besides, I meet many people in my job. Being an imaginist is profoundly fulfilling. I help people to define their niche. To make them happy and find purpose in their lives.

Who needs friends when they have satisfied customers?

My proudest achievement as an imaginist dates back just over a year.

I worked with a young woman, Claudia, who'd been troubled for all of her life. A shy and socially awkward child, she had difficulties forging social bonds. During her education period, she was always top of her class, but the inherited vocation – her parents were hydroponic engineers – did nothing to satisfy the gaping hole, which years of unhappiness had carved into her soul.

She was 25 years old but already wanted to die. She had put in multiple applications to receive a dose of EverDream, the drug of choice for committing a clean suicide. In our society, the government controls suicide, and although we have limited resources, losing a life is nothing we take lightly. We do anything to help suicide candidates to find meaning and live a fulfilled life.

It's mainly old people requesting the drug; toward the end of their lives when they do not wish to burden the system unnecessarily. There are isolated cases of younger people, who suffer rare, incurable diseases and find themselves in unbearable pain.

Healthy individuals aren't granted the suicide-drug easily. The legal requirement is to sit through grueling rounds of questionings and public hearings, and they need to justify themselves in front of everybody. Those measures, cruel as they sound, prevent many conventional suicides, like jumping, hanging, and cutting. Society becomes aware of the person who expresses their wish to die. Suddenly, they find themselves under constant surveillance, and self-harming becomes nearly impossible.

Claudia was resourceful – she tried every angle during her hearings, and she attempted to kill herself in a good few conventional ways. She was the first to attempt suicide in the privacy of The Sphere. It didn't work! The Sphere ejected her unconscious but otherwise unharmed body, and we concluded it was impossible to die inside The Sphere. This is of course only a theory based on Claudia's failed attempt. We don't know for sure. She was banned from entering after the incident. And to our knowledge, nobody has tried to self-harm inside The Sphere since.

Incidents like this show us how little we know about the workings of The Sphere, and how many questions we forgot to ask over the millennia while integrating this beautiful but alien technology into our lives.

Claudia got referred to me after being questioned, assessed, and treated unsuccessfully by the various committees, doctors, and members of the public. When we first met, she was withdrawn and lacked the wish and the ability to collaborate.

Our first meeting was plain awkward. Claudia sat opposite me in the faux leather recliner, which is a replica of a 1970s original; reformed after a model I saw in an old film, the name of which I can't recall. I watched her sending the chair into a forward and backward rocking motion by languidly, yet somewhat impatiently, kicking her legs up and down. Her gaze fixed on a point at the wall behind me she started speaking.

"What do you think you can do to help me? So far, nobody was able to. Besides – I don't WANT help. I want to die."

I kept looking at her, waiting for her to continue.

"There's no point in being here," she stated matter-of-fact and pushed herself purposefully out of the lounger. "If you don't mind..." She nodded her head toward the locked door, glaring at me.

"Well, as a matter of fact – I do mind. I'm contracted to work with you for the next," I looked pointedly at my watch, "...hour and 35 minutes. I can't let you go right now." I reclined in my chair, looking straight at her, arms crossed in an act of defiance. I was beyond fuming! "Maybe you would like to get off your high and mighty horse and at least try being constructive? It's such a bore when people expect me to do all the hard work for them and don't contribute."

"What do you care, anyway?" She flared up. "You don't even know me!"

Claudia is a bit of a hothead – just like I am.

"Well – I have heard enough about you over the past few months to know you need help – in any way you can. Since you don't have the approval to take EverDream, you will have to explore other routes. Like it or not!"

"I DON'T WANT TO EXPLORE ANYTHING!" In the spur of the moment, she grabbed my replica of the Lion-man, which is thought to be the oldest man-made work of art, and smashed it to pieces.

I bit my lip. I was annoyed, but I wasn't going to let her see it.

"So I DO get a response finally. Means you still have some emotional remnants left inside you."

Head hanging low, shoulders slumped, she mumbled an apology. I let it go.

"Shall we try again?" I suggested. "I'm out of artifacts to smash, but perhaps we can do without?"

She gave me half a smile. "Very well. No pain, no gain. But I warn you: I had so many people attempting to help me all of my life, that all I want to do is get away from them."

"I can understand that," I tried to sound reassuring. "I understand you tried to kill yourself while in The Sphere and you haven't been permitted in afterward?"

"Well, yes – they told me, I needed to appeal to a special approval tribunal to go in again... but to be honest – I didn't bother. I never intended to use The Sphere for my entertainment. I only ever sought peace and quiet to end my life. But the damn thing wouldn't let me!"

Another emotional flare-up! Scarcely restrained frustration in her voice.

"What's causing this death wish?"

"I honestly don't know." She looked so young and vulnerable as she shrugged her bony shoulders. "I thought about this a lot, and eventually it'll drive me insane. I don't have an answer. How can I? Nothing ever happened in my life to warrant my death wish. My family is supportive. I'm successful academically. I have a respectable work. I just..." She swallowed, her head sagging even lower. "I guess I'm just not keen on living..."

I nodded. "From a theoretical point of view, do you have any idea, how you would like your life to be? Have you ever allowed yourself to imagine a life you might enjoy?"

A hint of a smile crossed her face. "Being allowed to commit suicide would be a massive improvement."

'Ah, great!' I cursed myself. 'Stepped right into it!'

"Okay, okay." I lifted my hands. A placating gesture, trying to regain control of the conversation. "Imagine for a second, they'd permit you to take the drug. What would you do? How would you spend the mandatory three months between getting permission and taking your life?"

"I would sleep," she said it so quietly I could barely hear her. "I would sleep, rest, and dream; be calm and deeply relaxed, knowing there will be no more pressures, demands, and expectations after swallowing my dose of EverDream."

Once she granted me insights into her thoughts, I could create a calming, soothing environment within The Sphere. A retreat, where she could just be, enjoy her own company without the worries and hassles her family and social environment inflicted on her. We involved Social Protection Officers in engaging with her family, co-workers, and neighbors to make them aware of the need to ease off and allow her to be herself. In our society, this is easy. Social Protection Services is an organization concerned with the needs of individuals as well as community needs. In a confined environment like our station, it is vital to respect individual freedom and social boundaries. The lines we are walking are fine.

Our society is comparable to animals living in a zoo. One has to have special measures in place to deal appropriately with the need of those animals extracted from their natural environment. And even after generations of being bred in zoos, it's vital to maintain their habitats as species-appropriate as possible.

The psychiatrists worked with Claudia to divert her focus from herself and guided her toward becoming more receptive to nature around her. It was challenging to create an environment for her, which was calming and engaging at the same time. In the end, we worked together for nearly half a year and ended up becoming somewhat close. Claudia is well on track to master the art of engagement as well as internalization. She is content, calm, and finds purpose in her life.

"You helped me fill the dark void inside myself," she once described the impact my work had on her life. And if I ever go off the rails and want to despair with society and its stagnancy in this little space-tin prison, I take a long, hard look at Claudia and remind myself of the power of The Sphere, and how much I love helping people!

I count my blessings, take a deep breath, and escape to British Columbia.

# 4 - First Contact

What a beautiful day! I woke after a lazy, sunbaked snooze following my morning swim. I took in my surroundings for the thousandth time. The persistent smile possessing my features tugged at the corners of my mouth, stretching my cheeks. I relished in the warm feeling swamping me. Peace!

Digger licked my face as he so often does when I open my eyes. He respects my sleep most of the time, but he is keen to greet me when I wake up. I pushed him off, laughed, scolded him, and jumped to my feet. A ride to the beach! I packed pieces of smoked fish and a corn flour tortilla. I didn't bother with water since there is plenty of clean, wonderfully fresh water to be had from one of the many rivers crisscrossing this vast country. My heart whistled the timeless melody of joy.

I urged Silvercloud into the direction of the ocean. The horses - eager to travel - set off at a fast-paced canter. The wind whipped the hair from my face. I whooped! After a few miles of fast running, the horses settled into a more leisurely pace.

It took us less than 45 minutes to reach the endless beach with its many hidden coves, rocks, and vast expanses of white sands. The tide was far out, and the waves lapped gently in the distance. I urged Silvercloud on, and she responded eagerly. She loves a gallop along the beach followed by a dip in the sea. Digger raced ahead, running at full speed, yelping and zigzagging precariously close to Silvercloud's hooves.

This day imprinted into my soul. I remember every minute detail: overwhelming joy, my heart wide open, yet still unable to take in everything. I was a vessel, brimming full of goodness, spilling over and over and over, as more and more goodness kept flowing in relentlessly. I shouted with joy! I cried! I laughed! Silvercloud's fast pace drove the wind into my face, making my eyes water.

My mare slowed down when she realized Alchemist was falling behind. She is sensible, although I know she could have gone further. I let the horses walk along the sandy beach, allowing them to cool down before I turned them around, heading toward the water. Alchemist was first in, followed closely by Digger. The young stallion pawed and splashed the water with his front legs, groaned, and rolled in it, trying to keep his ears dry by pinning them against his head.

"You look so grumpy when you do this, my boy!" I jested him.

Silvercloud never participates in the splashing and rolling. She wades into the water and starts swimming once she is immersed. I slide off, hold on to her mane and wither, and she will drag me around for as long as she fancies. I love swimming with my horses. It is refreshing - in more than one way!

We were about to head home when an intense sensation of foreboding hit me! All of a sudden, I felt uneasy and high-strung; the air vibrating with a flavor of energy I never encountered. A thunderstorm creeping along the sand. I remember looking over my shoulder, checking for signs of imminent threat. The soft downy hair at the nape of my neck stood up long before I spotted the silhouette of a man at the blurry horizon of my vision. Shrouded in ocean haze, he steadily and purposefully walked toward us.

I went numb, unable to respond. The animals, sensing my state of acute shock, stopped in their tracks. Digger raised his hackles, producing a low growl. The horses held their heads up high, ears pricked forward, nostrils flared, their eyes wide open, staring into the distance.

The bony claws of panic reached for me, groping to get a hold on me, squeezing my lungs tight, making it impossible to breathe. My first impulse was to urge the horses on and race home as fast as we could; pretending we never saw the man emerging from the mists.

'False security!' It took every ounce of my willpower to override the pressing flight response. Something extraordinary was happening! I never met another person inside The Sphere, and to the best of my knowledge, nobody else ever has. But then – there are a lot of things we still don't understand about The Sphere.

My curiosity won. I approached the man. He was a little older than I but still young. I took in his appearance: powerful, calm gait, his broad shoulders tapering down to narrow hips, and long, muscular legs, moving across the sand like a hunter. I admired his full, shoulder-length hair, which the wind swept across his face. I couldn't make out his features until we were less than 20 meters apart.

He stopped, lifted his right hand, palm facing toward us. A gesture of greeting.

I exhaled, some of my tension draining away.

"Hi there."

Ah, the first taste of his voice! Velvety, powerful, and reassuring, with a thick, rich tone that went straight to my core, wrapped itself around my soul, and immediately wiped out all residual fear. The animals relaxed too.

"My name is Dylan," he introduced himself. "I came here to meet you."

'Meet me?' I was confused! "But how would you know where to find me? You don't know me."

"You are the reason I'm here." So matter of fact! "I followed your energy, your aura. I couldn't ignore it once I sensed you. I needed to find you."

His words confused me even more. "What are you talking about?"

"Your aura," he repeated patiently. "Every time you enter this sanctuary, I feel the power of your essence. It lures me in. I had no choice but to find the incredible creature who emits it." Gray eyes bored into mine, the sizzling heat in his gaze searing me. "To be with you," he added.

I started to feel distinctly uncomfortable. "I am not aware of emitting anything. Besides - it could be anybody – even the horses or... Digger." I looked at Digger's eager face, mouth open, tongue lolling, drooling, and I felt hysteric all of a sudden. "Soooo... you mean you came all the way from... wherever you come from, to see... me?"

"Sure." He extended his arm and Alchemist walked toward him to have his head rubbed.

'He can't be dangerous. The horses like him.'

It was time to dismount and introduce myself. I slid off Silvercloud's back, hoping my shaky knees would keep me upright. I straightened my inner spine, closed the short distance still separating us, and offered my hand.

"I'm Bella."

When he took my hand in his, it was so much more than a simple greeting! For the brief moment he touched me, I was able to read his mind, experience his feelings, and see my world through his eyes. The intensity of the emotional fireworks crushed me! How would I get out of this alive? But the initial shock turned to pleasure, and for the second time this day, the vessel that was Bella got overfilled and spilled. Nothing was wasted. It was the rich, bountiful overflow of an all-encompassing abundance. A cornucopia of everything good and right. I remember drowning in his eyes. I remember my knees buckling. I never wanted to let go of his hand.

Then - abruptly – it was all over.

Dylan took a step back and reluctantly let go of my hand.

Breaking the physical contact cleared my head of the foggy elation, and I was able to breathe normally again. I swallowed down the emotional overflow and shook my head to dispel the residual haze.

"I'm so happy to meet you, Bella," he said. "Can we be friends?"

He might as well have asked me to fornicate with him. "Friends?" I croaked. "Um – that would be nice. I don't have many friends... around here I mean..." I never felt more awkward in my life, and I wanted to kick myself for it. Get a grip, woman!

"Well, that's sorted then. I'll be your friend around here from now on."

Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT! Terror and anger came rising hard and fast, fighting for dominance before they came to an uneasy arrangement to co-exist in my gut. You can't march across my beach, sweet-talk me, and declare yourself my friend! "We will see..." I responded noncommittally. Still, he was right, and it was just a matter of time. How could I not want to be friends with Dylan?

"Um... you are good with animals." I pointed toward the horses and Digger, who disgraced himself by enthusiastically licking Dylan's hand, adoring doggy-eyes looking up to what must be an impressive six-foot-three or so of... hunk. Make that sexy hunk! No social graces this dog. I shook my head, grinning inwardly because I loved the way Dylan and my animals made friends so effortlessly. I tallied up my options. Run for my life or grapple with Dylan's presence and the effect he had on me.

My intuition made the choice for me. "Let me show you where we live." I beckoned him to walk with us. "I would offer you to ride Alchemist, but he's not broken in yet; he's still too young. Maybe next year." 'Jesus! I'm rambling like a fool. I need to get a grip!' Heat shot up from my neck toward my face. I was well underway on the road to major self-embarrassment. "But you are more than welcome to have a go with Silvercloud. Did you ride before?"

"Never," he admitted. I will walk for now, but you can teach me soon."

'He is not the modest type... even a bit assuming.' But it didn't bother me. Because ever since Dylan held my hand, I've longed for more.

# 5 - Dylan

I floated through this galaxy, weaving in and out through the nebulae, dodging meteor belts, having fun surfing solar flares, and somersaulting from stars to planets, their moons, and back when I first encountered her pull.

I had no idea what hit me! But whatever it was knocked me off my path and sent me spiraling out of control. For the first time in my existence, I. Needed.

I'm the only one of my kind. A predominantly positronic, space-dwelling entity, who travels the vast expanses of the entire universe. I came into existence at the very beginning of the universe, and chances are I'll see its end. I have been alone ever since the Big Bang, which happened exactly 15 billion years, 3 months, 2 weeks, one hour, and 55 seconds ago. Not that I'm counting! I just know.

Time itself is of little importance to me. It's the variety of energies and their fluctuations that matter. I take pleasure in the intricate patterns, which are creations of changes in the energy flows, and I absorb their infinite beauty.

There are millions of us. Singular life forms, born of whatever unique environment the universe created them in. We have one thing in common: we are the keepers of the universe. We know its intricate workings inside out, we guard it, and we obey the rules of nature. Everybody has to!

There are other rules to obey, too. The Council of Singular Entities has a whole host of laws. The prime directive is to not interfere with the many minor life forms littering this universe. Humans are among those we consider inferior. Their biological properties are so limited, they can't even perceive us. They don't have the technology to detect us, and they undoubtedly wouldn't have the maturity to deal with us appropriately. I mean – come on – they came up with the infamous Drake equation, which 'allows' them to estimate the number of civilizations in the Milky Way galaxy. And although it was hailed as a huge achievement for humankind, it shows how limited humans are as a species. They firmly believe life can only exist under certain conditions – the ones they know life to exist under. It needs appropriate planets to develop on; life has certain hallmarks, andsoonandsoon... There are a lot of stringencies attached to Frank Drake's equation – not all of which are unreasonable, but they don't allow reality to present itself regarding factuality.

Humankind has still got a lot to learn about life on planet Earth!

I never expected a human to possess an aura as beautiful and powerful as Bella's. Her spirit is like the sweetest scent, and I'm defenseless against her lure. She captured me with the enticing shades of her energy, and she isn't even aware she has this hold on me. Sheer perfection!

I broke the cardinal law of my Council to get close to her.

Her aura is the strongest inside The Sphere where it's amplified by the environment itself. The Sphere also acts as a shield, guarding us against prying singular entities' eyes, making it the only safe place to approach her.

I gambled my life, but it paid off!

I was straight with her; told her about my origin. My nature intrigued her! She wanted to know everything about the universe, especially about the galaxy humankind originated from. She asked me questions about Earth and its development over the millennia since the wormhole collapse.

It pained me to describe Earth's decline following the catastrophic events that wiped the space station off humankind's radar. Wormhole exploration ground to an immediate halt and space travel, in general, was considered a filthy business. In a world where health and personal safety were the pillars of society, putting people at enormous risk became a criminal offense.

Although space travel had an impeccable safety record for hundreds of years, the unforeseeable and cataclysmic accident had a sobering effect. The space program got under scrutiny, and environmental groups, which lobbied for making things right on Earth rather than outsourcing problems to other planets and galaxies, gained strength. It was too little, too late.

It broke my heart to see Bella weep when I told her about the increasingly negative impact of accelerating climate change and global warming on natural habitats and human societies. I held her hand when I told her about the mass extinction events, which occurred when the bulk of climate refugees from the arid regions of sub-Saharan Africa started their unstoppable march North. Driven by unprecedented starvation caused by drought, people sought refuge in the colder regions of the Northern hemisphere. The Western world was unprepared to deal with the gigantic numbers of people in motion. The climate refugees came in waves, and like the big breakers, which have traveled the length of the oceans they unleashed their destructive forces on faraway shores. And like the waves, driven by powers beyond their control, they never intended harm.

The Final War in 2915 was fierce, short, and led to a rapid decline of the human population. But it was not just humans, who suffered the consequences.

Less than half of the nine million species known to humankind survived; most of them in tiny pockets of niche habitats. Of the estimated 80 percent of still undiscovered species, about a quarter survived. This was mainly down to the fact that undiscovered species were rare to start with and consequently any decimation of their numbers had a disproportionate impact.

More than 60 percent of wild plant species were outcompeted by the genetically altered crop plants, designed to grow in severe conditions. There weren't enough humans left to prevent the GM seeds from spreading, and the survivors couldn't care less. Unable to provide the complicated chemical and nutritional treatment required to keep the genetically modified crops growing, they died off quickly.

The flimsy veil of civilization got torn to pieces.

Life on Earth struggled during the centuries following the Final War. The technological achievements, which allowed humanity to live in any habitat they cared to colonize, were fragile. Once a single cog so much as shifted out of alignment, the whole machinery was in peril. Post-war, civilization was in tatters. Most of the cogs were bust, and the machine ground to a halt.

Billions died, and they didn't perish without suffering.

Without infrastructure, the urban sprawls of the Western world were the first to succumb to starvation and epidemic outbreaks of diseases, which reclaimed their dominion centuries after humankind had all but eradicated them.

The extensive monocultural farming areas didn't fare much better. Most of the crops grew poorly or died off once there weren't enough people left to water and fertilize the fields. Small, predominantly self-sustaining family-groups farthest away from urban areas were among the most successful survivors. Tribes, which maintained their traditional ways of living over the centuries despite invasive technology and judgmental treatment from their governments.

I held Bella in my arms, wiped away her tears, and eased her pain. I experienced emotions I never had before. I felt good! So good I felt guilty in the light of her grief.

I see it as clear as if it was yesterday: Bella and I, sitting on the snug bale of soft leather hides, covered with a felted, woolen blanket. Me, holding Bella tucked against my chest, my skin wet from her tears, inhaling her scent. The sea, the sun, the sand, and the sweet, sweet fragrance of her skin, which enveloped me like a glove. My heart went supernova! White, hot, pulsing, all-encompassing!

"This is heartbreaking..." she sobbed, pulling herself out of my embrace with great effort to wipe off the last of her tears. "Have you visited Earth since?"

"No – I haven't." I explained to her how we singular entities hate great potential go to waste. It was the destructive nature of humanity, which caused planet Earth's decline. The natural forces of the cosmos weren't to blame. This destruction was caused by the inability of one of the billions of species inhabiting the universe. Their inability to step away from their little egos to see the bigger picture.

"Could you – just for me... I mean – go there and check?" She swallowed hard. Her mesmerizing green eyes melded with mine. I nodded, although I shouldn't.

"I suppose I could..."

"Is there a problem?" She sensed my hesitation.

"Not as such, it would mean breaking the law and..."

Her head shot up. Her eyes flew open. "Which law are you talking about?" Curiosity and alarm laced her melodic voice.

I told her about the taboo, we singular entities have, to interact with 'minor' species like humans.

She looked at me with a wounded expression.

"I suppose I technically broke that law already by being here," I smiled reassuringly at her, "...so if you want me to check on Earth, I might as well go."

"No – there is wisdom in your 'singular entity arrangements.' Perhaps it is better for me not to know what is currently happening on Earth." She sounded abrupt, but then her voice softened. "I' grateful I met you. That I have a friend inside The Sphere now. I don't want to compromise this."

I closed my eyes, taking a deep, relieved breath. I skirted the need to tell her exactly how dangerous this situation was. I wasn't prepared to scare her.

"So what does breaking this law entails in terms of punishment?" she neatly picked up my mental thread.

I bit down on my lips, averting her gaze. "I... it's hard to describe. It... they would cage me inside a force field. The Singular Entities Council would trial me – but purely as part of the procedures. Because the punishment for interfering with minor species is annihilation and..."

"Hang on!" she snapped. The sharpness in her voice stopped me dead in my tracks.

"You're telling me, you'll die if they find out?" Her eyes were glued to mine – wide and wild; her mouth half-open, her brows knit together. Disbelief splashed all over her face.

"I guess you could say so."

She jumped up, unleashing her fury on me. "Go – go! Leave me alone! Now!"

She screamed and yelled at me. Pushed me away. She even threw a bunch of dried herbs in my direction. "Out, out of here! I can't sit here with you, becoming friends and... and..." Her whole body shook as she took a painfully rasping breath. "...falling in love." She squeezed her eyes shut in mental defeat. Her face contorted with pain and sorrow. And although the electric torrents of her searing pain zapped me with a brutal vengeance, I wanted nothing more than to comfort her. My heart was playing a symphony. I couldn't help but smile – because she mentioned 'falling in love' with me.

"It's not half as dangerous as it sounds," I enunciated carefully. "How would the Council know, I am interacting with you? We aren't out in the open, and they can't see us inside The Sphere. It's not as if I'm messing up the social fabric of your entire society. I mean – we are basically inside your mind... it is your imagination... and..." I rambled.

"But you wouldn't be here if you didn't decide to find me," she stated matter-of-factly. "And I would have turned the horses around and fled, had I known meeting you would put you in mortal danger. You shouldn't have taken this risk." She pleaded with me.

"It was impossible to keep away from you!" I replied. "Your presence in The Sphere is like a maelstrom. I don't have the strength to resist this force of nature. Please. Believe me. If we stay inside The Sphere, we'll be okay. They can't find us here." I produced my best cheeky grin. "Besides – I've already been waiting for over 10 years. I know about you since you first entered The Sphere... on your sixth birthday."

Bella's shoulders sagged in defeat. Her head hung, chin touching her chest. She sobbed, hot tears dripping onto the wooden floor. It didn't take me two seconds to get to her and hold her as tight as I could, comforting her. I remember feeling her heartache like it was my own. And for a split-second, I regretted imposing my presence onto her. "I should have stayed away, my little star. I had no idea I'd cause you so much hurt. I'm sorry." I rocked her in my arms. Back and forth. There was no way I could apologize enough – ever!

"I'm glad you came. I'm so happy you are here! But I can't lose you. I just can't!... rips me... apart..."

I picked her up, cradling her in my arms, and carried her to the big bed upstairs. "Shhh... You are exhausted. Your aura is weakening." I lay my precious cargo down, propped myself up next to her, holding her tight to my chest. "Get some rest – I'll be right here with you."

She fell asleep before I even finished my sentence.

After what had been a long night of contemplation, it was at sunrise the next morning, when Bella eventually came out of her comatose sleep.

She looked at me. Long and hard.

I met her gaze – held it.

"I hoped you would be but a dream," she mumbled.

"I'm afraid I'm real. Forgive me?"

She let out a sigh. "What for? You have as much right to be here as I have. I just wish you stayed away... that's all."

I bit my lip and released her from my embrace. Our eyes met. Wild gray oceans and calm emerald pools mingled, then separated again.

"I love you." I had nothing left to lose. I was all in!

She inhaled sharply. Her beautiful green eyes flew open, closed again, leaving a haunted expression on her face.

"I love you too."

My heart played the most magnificent symphonies of the universe all at the same time. I couldn't understand how all this happiness, and love, and goodness could possibly stay contained inside me.

'I will explode! I will explode like nothing in this universe has ever exploded before and...'

She threw herself into my arms.

"I want you," she said quietly.

"I'm yours," I replied. I never felt more real in all the billions of years of my existence. 'THIS IS IT!' I unconditionally surrendered myself to her. And at that moment in time, it mattered more than ever to stay undiscovered and alive. Because I couldn't risk breaking her heart or let her down. And I certainly couldn't be separated from her. I knew I met my destiny inside The Sphere. Our love was inescapable, inexorable, a force of nature.

"What are we going to do?" She whispered, her voice sounding small and scared.

"We'll work it out – together." I was confident at that moment. Little did I know about the things to come!

# 6 - Falling

I don't know where I drew the strength from to wake up, when all I wanted to do was carry on sleeping, pretending this gorgeous alien, who stole my heart in a matter of hours existed only in my imagination.

'He'll be gone, once I open my eyes.' That was one take on the situation. Another one was, 'He will leave if I carry on sleeping.' I was torn. I wanted to punch him, kick him, make him leave. I wanted him safely away from me. Then I wanted more of him. Closer. Not letting him out of my sight ever again. So much confusion! More confusion than ever before!

There was no denying it. I fell for Dylan. Fast, hard, and so deep, I was scared to death of losing him before he even became mine entirely. And all because of some stupid law he allegedly broke! This had nothing to do with me – with us. Here I was – nearly 17 years old and hopelessly in love!

The overwhelming urge to squeeze all and everything I wanted our relationship to become into the next five minutes hijacked me. The wish to fast-forward and make all the magic happen at once! Because nobody could guarantee it would last. For all I knew, it could be over tomorrow. He might get busted any second! My head was spinning. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't breathe. Inside my stomach, galaxies churned, collided, and reformed. I felt sick!

Last night, when I almost – almost - found it in me to throw him out of my house, he told me he loved me. I was lost! The floodgates opened, and I had to let him in Reassure him I loved him too and wanted him. In fact – I wanted him more than anything. I wanted him there and then! Inside me. All around me. Again and again.

But Dylan put a halt to it.

"I know your laws." His soft voice gave me goosebumps. "It's illegal for you to have sex before the age of 18."

"But we are in The Sphere!" Ah, the frustration! "The laws of the space station don't apply here!"

"Listen... Bella. There's no need to break this law. I don't want to put you in the same danger I put myself into and..."

It wasn't quite the same situation. Sure, I'd be punished for having sex before my 18th birthday. The punishment would include community service until I was old enough to sleep with a man legally. More humiliating than devastating.

"My punishment wouldn't be anywhere near execution," I told him, but Dylan refused to take the bait. "We are allowed to kiss, though," I threw into the conversation, desperate for something.

"I know." He took my face into his warm, strong hands. Our lips met – tender, seeking, probing the sensitive skin. I was glad we were in a horizontal position on my bed. Knees liquid, I was unable to stand upright. 'What's going to happen next? How can we possibly stop?' I was heading head over heels toward becoming a law-breaker, and I couldn't have cared less!

Dylan took control of the situation. He broke the kiss, breathing hard, hooded eyes fixed on mine. He was excited! I tried to ignore his attempt at breaking the spell, but he wouldn't allow me.

"I have no problem, waiting until your 18th birthday."

"Well – maybe I can't wait!" I sulked.

"Listen," Dylan started, "please. If I coax you into breaking your laws, if I taint you with my depravity, I will not get a sniff of a trial. The Council will de-energize me straight away. No questions asked! You will not get the chance to speak out in my favor, nor will you get the opportunity to say goodbye, you..."

My vision blurred as my head started to swim. His words sent rancid bile churning inside my stomach, and I needed to throw up. I forced the nausea down somehow.

"We will wait then." I tried my best to sound brave.

"And I promise you: I'll make it worth the wait." He smiled and kissed me again. Harder this time. A promise of things to come in a year and five months' time.

I started to count down the days.

We spent the rest of the day swimming, riding, and playing with Digger.

Swimming... Thinking of it brings a goofy smile to my face and sends my heart into manic overdrive.

It would have been silly to go into the lake clothed.

The image of 'naked Dylan' (aka 'Male Perfection') imprinted into my retina! Ready to be recalled at any time. Six-foot-three of lean, well-muscled gorgeousness. His skin is a vibrant olive, velvety, begging to be touched. His thick, brown mane falls well below his shoulders. Sunlight reflects off the mahogany and copper strands, bringing it to life. The man is a serious eye-candy, and I want to gorge myself on him! His smile is knock-you-out-dead, and his gray-blue eyes twinkle... all the time. I drank in the sight of him.

I'm besotted. Will always be. I love him so much it hurts! The depth of my feelings still scares me.

I was still in my clothes, and I could feel the heat rising, scorching me!

'There's no way I'm not going to touch him!' I couldn't promise myself not to trace my fingers through the hair on his chest, follow its trail over his perfectly toned abs, and from there all the way down below his navel to where this seductive trail of silky, dark hair dips below the imaginary waistband of his low-slung jeans. Unfortunately, I couldn't see any details. The lake covered him to his waist.

'I am going to touch him!' I promised myself one last time before I plucked up the courage to ditch my clothes.

Dylan's eyes lit up with appreciation. "You are perfect!" His gravelly words, sincere and awestruck, knocked the air right out of my lungs. I choked. I concentrated on breathing. "You are not so bad yourself..." He reminded me of the male models from millennia-old fashion adverts or film stars.

Most of the male inhabitants on the space station are tall and thin with ill-defined muscles. Millennia of reduced gravity softened our bodies and deteriorated our muscle tone. There is no need to be equipped with strong muscles. On top of that, a general reduction in physical activity and the lack of hard manual labor left us weak. A slender physique looks attractive on women. Our bodies grew taller and slimmer over the generations. The lean looks become our sex. I'm a bit of an oddity. At five foot seven, I'm of average height. Although slim, I have curves and a better muscle tone than most. It's likely down to all the work I do with the animals.

I ran up to Dylan, water splashing all around me. I threw myself at him. He toppled, grabbed me, and we went under. I was on top of him, his arms wrapped around me. Laughing like children, feeling the heat of each other's skin before the lake had time to cool us down.

Our eyes met. I felt his hard muscles, his soft skin...and his erection. I stopped moving. The world inside The Sphere stopped moving, and I wanted it to stay still forever.

# 7 - Together

Bella and I committed to each other. Rock-solid and sure about our feelings, we started our journey. We searched, we explored, and we simply enjoyed life. It was much more fun than trawling the universe for glimpses of unusual energy-laden cosmic events to feast on. If I'm out there and concentrate hard enough, I can see and sense the entire universe. Not that I would do this on a regular basis - it takes away the thrill of uncertainty; of not knowing about every paltry thing that's going on.

On the day I met Bella, my entire universe condensed into the perimeter of The Sphere.

By the time we made it out of bed and to the lake, the rising sun had turned the day into a furnace. We went for a swim this beautiful first morning. I remember how oddly bashful I felt undressing in front of her. This modesty took me by surprise. Her hesitation told me she felt the same. I threw an encouraging smile at her as I took off my top.

She did the same.

Ah! The moment I saw her naked breasts for the first time. Firm and perfectly proportioned. Mouthwatering! I wanted to cup them with my hands, run my thumbs over the taut nipples, and spend hours exploring her soft, creamy skin. So unbelievably beautiful! I stared. Transfixed. The image of her half-naked body hovered in my vision like a speck of stardust on the event horizon of a black hole, imprinted in the fabric of time. To stay with me for all eternity.

The confinement of my suddenly too-tight trousers became unbearable! I ripped them off and dove into the lake before my excitement would become too apparent. I stood up once I was confident the water reached above my navel and concealed my raging hard-on. Only then did I relax enough to turn around and enjoy watching her undress further. She did so with deliberation and care; her gaze fixed on me during the whole procedure, and I couldn't help but wonder if she would change her mind and decide not to join me.

"Comiiiing!" A joyous shriek! Bella ran toward me, her long, firm legs making ground, her auburn hair flowing behind her. She threw herself at me and in doing so knocked us both off our feet. I was floating on my back, holding her tight to my body, her breasts pressing against my chest, my erection digging into her belly.

She laughed, then she looked me up and down languidly, took my face into her hands, and kissed me deep and slow, her eyes closed, her breathing heavy. Our tongues dancing, teasing, licking, and tangling. I was at a loss of how to stop this incredible creature from getting me so dangerously close to losing control. I was acutely aware of the peculiarities of my unfamiliar human body. The sensation of her skin on my skin, the colorful turbulence of emotions her kisses churned up deep inside me, the elation, the inability to think clearly... my erection.

"I'm glad you are excited to see me," she teased.

"How do you know?" I asked stupidly enough.

She raised her brows and her eyes wandered leisurely down from my eyes to my navel for an answer.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she said. "If I had a cock, you could feel my excitement as well."

"Not much good for the next 17 months..." I croaked. I had no idea how a frog got into my throat. It was going to be an excruciatingly long wait...

We explored the surrounding territory. Bella introduced me to the forest, the mountains, and the rivers. We spent days trekking, taking turns riding and walking. Where the territory got too rough for Silvercloud to carry us, we both walked. I learned how to ride, and to my surprise, I managed it with ease. Alchemist was still too young, and his skeletal maturation needed to progress further before we could start him. I took great pleasure in learning to communicate with Silvercloud. She's a fantastic teacher! Gentle and patient. Communicating with animals comes easy to me. They relate most of their messages through body language - straightforward to read and intuitive to respond. Humans use the same primary body language, but they are less aware of the signals they send and often can't fathom the ones they receive. To me, Bella is an open book. Especially when she isn't talking. And I love the story she's telling me every time she looks at me!

When traveling, we slept in a tent – one of the few things she introduced into her otherwise authentic and natural sphere-environment from the outside space age. The tent was big enough to sleep three. So we could have Digger inside with us if he so wished. The horses could shelter under the waterproof flap, which built the exterior cover of our camping space. They appreciated this type of shelter when the dense coniferous tree cover of the Coastal Forest gave way to the less dense sub-alpine forests. It never fails to amaze me in how much detail Bella imagined this region of Canada to bring it to life inside The Sphere. Her imagination is so close to what it used to be like in reality; it's spooky.

"I have a lot of time to kill in the space station," was her explanation.

# 8 - The Sphere

Sphere-time - if not strictly rationed - is still loosely monitored. When my mum first noticed that I gradually spent more time inside The Sphere, my relationship with Dylan had been ongoing for nearly half a year sphere-time. That's a smidgen over three minutes in station time and shouldn't have flagged up any concern. I learned the hard way, that mothers have a sixth sense when it comes to their children's affairs. My hard-to-wipe-off-the-face smile probably gave me away. And although my mum was happy for me, she was also concerned about my obvious transformation. Whenever she inquired, I told her stories about 'The horses doing something funny 'or 'Digger caught his first rabbit.'

Mum was holding back from digging any deeper, but I knew she was keeping a close eye on me. Nothing can fly under the radar of a suspecting mother!

I used The Sphere religiously every day. Before I met Dylan, I would occasionally skip a day or two to research new details to integrate into my sphere-world or because work got in the way. Since I met Dylan, I never missed a single second. But not only that! I extended my stays to spend as much time with him as I could. The extra seconds I spent inside The Sphere – on top of my already generous allowance of five seconds per day - went unnoticed at first.

Each inhabitant of Δ9 could spend a comfortable 15 seconds within The Sphere every day, and there would still be a contingency for additional uses. Less than 20 percent of the population used The Sphere on a daily basis. Therefore, it took a while before my usage got flagged up with the authorities. In fact – it only flagged up once I extended my stays beyond the calculated maximum limit of 15 seconds. I wasn't too worried about it. The most they could do was to cut me back to the average user-allowance, which was one second per day. But with me caring for animals, this was unlikely to happen.

"They will likely cut me right down to five seconds per day. So we won't be worse off than when we first met," I told Dylan. "It isn't a crime to make use of The Sphere, but the Mental Health Authority encourages people to spend equal amounts of perceived time in the space station and The Sphere. Spending one second each day inside The Sphere is considered healthy and advisable."

What I didn't account for - and wasn't even aware of - was my reasonably important status as the station's most successful imaginist. I had slipped into this position as comfortably as I did into Dylan's embrace.

My friend Barnes caught me off guard when he confronted me with the news that the Mental Health Authority had approached and probed him.

"Bruce Tw, to be precise," he growled. "Tried to be subtle, the bastard! Kinda failed miserably." He grinned. "Ye donna pull the wool over my eyes!"

"I know, Barnes." I heard alarm bells going off! "What kind of information was he after?" I asked as casually as I could, jittering like a mobile in gale force winds. Dylan would be able to tell how nervous I am. Thinking of my lover instantly calmed my nerves and put a smile on my face.

Barnes shrugged his shoulders, looking bored. "Nowt to worry. He only wannat to know why ye increased yer sphere-time."

I took a deep breath. This is important! I needed to get this right! I must dispel any suspicions straight away!

"That's quite easy to answer. I need the extra time to start Alchemist. He's a bit of a handful... needs more time than expected. I find it easier to work with him if I fit in extra days. Lessons seem to stick better if I don't interrupt his schooling. You can tell them that if they ask again." I produced a canned smile and said goodbye. Confident, I managed to disperse the imminent threat of having my sphere-time reduced, I walked toward my family's habitat.

Mum greeted me with a concerned look on her face.

"Hello, did you have a nice time in The Sphere?"

"I usually do," I replied cautiously. "Alchemist is such a slow learner, though, and I need more time with him. The more time, the better," I sighed theatrically. "I never had the same sort of trouble with Silvercloud."

"You know about the Mental Health Authority's inquiry then?" My mother had never been one to beat around the bush.

"Barnes told me," I said in a careful, measured tone. "But as I already told him – should they ask again, tell them, Alchemist's training takes longer than expected. In fact – I'll go and tell them myself!"

Mum raised her eyebrows, evaluating me.

"Oh please – will you stop looking at me like this? I have done nothing wrong! So why is everybody judging me?"

"I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong. And I am not judging. But I am wondering why my daughter spends so much time inside The Sphere recently."

"Mum... I actually like it there! At least nobody is sneaking around trying to find out what I am doing... and..." I sucked in a deep breath. "Anyway – I best go and see Bruce Tw before the MHA decides to cut down my sphere-time." I speed-walked out of my parents' habitat and turned toward the MHA's offices.

I took the lift to get across 250 stories of the space station before I reached level 302, where the MHA's offices are situated. My family lived on Level 52, which is one of the larger ones on Δ9.

An ellipsoid in shape, the space station spins around its central axes to create artificial gravity, which is necessary to sustain human life in the long term. The ellipsoid itself is surrounded by two rotating almond-shaped ring structures, which are placed perpendicular to each other. The rotating rings act as an induction spiral on a magnet to produce a high-energy force field. This force field is vital to keep radiation within the space station to a minimum. It also serves as the primary energy source for the station. We take great care to maintain the systems powering the station and create ample amounts of energy. Over the past centuries, alternative sources were established. In case of disastrous failure, these backup systems will provide enough power to keep the almond-shaped ring structures spinning. Should they ever happen to stop turning, radiation sails will deploy, which then will absorb the high levels of harmful radiation and convert it into usable energy for the space station, vital for the production of all the food and goods needed for daily life.

Since Commander Howard invented the prototype for a complete recycling and reforming process, we've made many improvements, which allow the space station to synthesize virtually everything using basic chemical building blocks. A chemical assembly process, followed by holographic printing based technology, makes it possible to form anything from potatoes to ready meals, clothes, cosmetics, medicines, and building materials.

The assembly line is commonly known as the stuff-generator. New substances can be invented with a simple command, and the newly designed materials can be trialed instantaneously. And if they don't perform as expected, they go straight into the reprocessor. Everything gets recycled: waste, food, excrement, and even the dead. What would've been viewed as cannibalism by our ancestors on Earth is an accepted, because necessary, process within the closed system of Δ9. The bodies of the deceased are given to the recycler following a thanksgiving ceremony to honor their lives and deaths equally.

Religions had long ceased to exist in the space-stationers' society. Cut off from their home planet, left to fend for themselves, having to reinvent the rules and regulations, and learning to survive left no space for deities of any sort – be it a god or a devil. The majority of the people, who first got stranded on Δ9, were not religious to start with. Scientific and technical professions lend themselves less to religious beliefs than others. Today the holy books of the old - the Bible, Quran, Torah, Tripitaka, and Shruti - are read to young children like fairy tales were read to their ancestors back on Earth.

To me, everything about the space station oozes history. Its design is ancient, and its workings are based on technology I assume would've been long overhauled on Earth. Even the alterations, which were made over the millennia seem somewhat antiquated. To my knowledge, the last major improvement to the station was made when the stuff-generator was conceived and built. That must have been over 1,500 years ago.

I finally reached the door, behind which I expected to find MHA officer Bruce Tw. I knocked and a stern "Come in!" allowed me to enter the tiny room.

Bruce Tw - a haggard man, even for the tall, lanky standards of space-stationers - wore an expression as if suffering from constant constipation, and I found myself comparing his sour looks to Dylan's handsome features.

"Good afternoon, Officer. I hear there are concerns about my sphere-usage?" I stood at ease, skewering Bruce Tw with my eyes.

"Certainly have!" he barked. "Sit, sit!"

I eased myself into an uncomfortable hard chair, separated from Bruce Tw only by an equally Spartan table. What a depressing room. I shuddered before I brought my focus back to the MHA officer. "So, what's the problem?" I tried to take a comfortable seating position, but the chair would not allow me to do so. Frustrated I sat up straight.

"It has been brought to my attention," Bruce Tw announced pompously, "that you have been increasing your sphere-time considerably over the past few weeks." He harrumphed and shuffled a pile of papers on his desk before addressing me again. "As a sworn officer of the Mental Health Authority, it is my duty to investigate your behavior. We need to make sure you are not overusing to escape real life... Which I am sure you are aware of, could lead to severe mental health problems in the future." He cast me a meaningful glare.

"If you can advise on a method to train my young horse any faster," I gave him my most disarming smile, "I will happily reduce my sphere-time." I wore a businesslike expression. "Alchemist – my horse – is a bit slow in picking up the basics. To make matters worse, he also forgets anything he learns rather quickly if I don't start reinforcing it straight away." I shrugged my shoulders and lifted my arms in a gesture of helpless defeat. "The only way to improve his training I could think of was to increase our sphere-time... but if I need to cut down - well – I suppose he'll hear the penny drop at some point." I leaned forward, hands on the edge of the table, ready to get up from the uncomfortable chair. "I'll go back to our allocated five-second time slots. No bother!" I prepared to get up.

"No, no – wait!" officer Tw waved his arms impatiently. "I will give you permission to use The Sphere for 15 seconds every day... if that's what the horse needs. Once his training is completed, however, I wish to reduce this time again and bring it down to a more – ahem – reasonable level."

I stood up and rewarded officer Tw with a beaming smile. "Thank you so much, Officer! You can't imagine how much I appreciate your help. I promise I will reduce our time, once Alchemist is brought up to speed... which might be a while..." I left the room with an exaggerated sigh and a fabricated smile on my lips, which I dropped as soon as I closed the door behind me.

Damn! I rubbed my face with both hands. I only hope it will never occur to them to assess the horse.

"How did it go?" Mum inquired curiously.

"Fine, everything went just fine. It took me longer to get there and back than actually chatting to officer Tw. He was as sour-faced as ever. I wish I could help him to create a nice relaxing environment inside The Sphere. It would probably be a lemon orchard!" I laughed.

"You be careful," Mum said, making a serious face. "The MHA is no laughingstock once they get going. I don't want you to get into any trouble."

"Mum – that's sweet of you. But please believe me. I'm not in any trouble whatsoever."

I wish I could believe it myself! A guilty pang twitched inside my abdomen. It didn't last long. I knew, though, I had to be careful and decrease my sphere-time slightly at some point....just to satisfy the authorities...

A quick check of the time told me I had to go through another 18 hours without Dylan. Too long! The sigh I produced was so deep it might have come from the very bottom of the universe. I was impatient to get back to my man and make the remaining time to my 18th birthday pass as quickly as possible. I did a quick calculation. When I first met Dylan, 17 months remained before my 18th birthday. 517 days - each day I spent a minimum of five seconds inside The Sphere and each second in station-time extends to one full day sphere-time. We would have to wait for 517 times 5, that's 2,585 days, over seven years altogether before we could think about making love to each other. And our wait increased considerably by spending more time inside The Sphere.

While Dylan was patient and assured me waiting was no problem for him, I started to rebel against this stupid time conundrum. In fact – one never lost time after leaving The Sphere. If you went in for 10 seconds one should, in theory, be 10 days older after getting out again. However, any user only aged at the rate of space station time.

In fact – time spent inside The Sphere doesn't count.

# 9 - Dylan

I was fully aware of Bella loathing the time conundrum. And although she tried hard to stay patient, I often found her on edge, contending with fate.

"Seven years... minimum!" she complained, stomping her feet. "I can't wait that long! Why not do our 17 months sphere-time and get on with what we both want to do?"

I tried my best to distract my little shooting star from this 'injustice' as she called it, but my attempts to do so might have made things worse. "I want you as much as you want me," I kept reassuring her, "and I'm not going anywhere as long as you keep coming back to me."

When she told me about the inquiry by the MHA officer, I had to force myself to stay calm. Bella wasn't aware that all singular entities are attracted to changes and upsets in the energetic continuum of the universe. The very forces that create us also draw us. Anything out of the usual, any upset to the routines causes tiny ripples in the local energy flux. In case the disturbance is significant enough, somebody might notice it and bother to investigate its source. The last thing we wanted was drawing attention to the space station and The Sphere.

They couldn't see us inside The Sphere. One of her unique properties is that nobody but the user knows what's happening inside. The Sphere is a perfect vault of privacy.

Every time I entered and left, I was in grave danger. One of my kind could catch me red-handed and challenge me. I didn't tell Bella, but her crossing wires with the Mental Health Authority – however minor – and her attempts to conceal my existence from her family – especially her mother – caused enough disturbances in the energy patterns around the station for the ripples to be detectable by my kind. I didn't think there was a chance of anybody noticing the fluctuations in the first place. And if they did, for them to be powerful enough to attract them. Still, I would have preferred for it not to happen at all.

Remaining inside The Sphere, waiting for Bella to return, wasn't an option either. I couldn't risk staying away from the space continuum since my brethren might notice my absence. Not that it was taboo to extract yourself from the space-continuum occasionally, but it might raise an alarm if it happens too often or for too long.

There are multitudes of places like The Sphere dotted around the universe. Places we can disappear to and modulate our energy patterns, which can get out of tune with the universe. These cosmic sanctuaries are comparable to yoga retreats for humans – a place where they go when they get so disconnected from nature and life and anything that matters, they have to pay professional healers to re-connect them and help them find their purpose in life.

I knew without a doubt I had found my purpose in life when I first sensed Bella's aura. There was no denying her pull! I had to connect with this beautiful lifeform inside the sanctuary. She reset my very essence, re-calibrated my unique energy patterns, re-tuned my values, my beliefs, and my morals. I will happily accept any punishment should I be found out. Discovery of my sordid actions was just a question of time. Bella's existence made it necessary to seek a sanctuary more often than I naturally need to. And to make matters worse: I had to visit the same sanctuary repeatedly. Not that there was anything wrong with this either. Some singular entities prefer to frequent a specific sanctuary; others try out a different one each time they wish to regenerate. Rarely do we change our patterns, though! I never had much use for sanctuaries. I believe the universe in its vastness and diversity offers more opportunities to re-balance than I could ever need. I also avoided using the same sanctuary twice in a row. So the considerable alteration in my pattern – if detected - might raise some concerns among the singular entities.

'It's unlikely anybody will notice.' Fingers crossed! However, I had to keep Bella safe!

In the long and colorful history of the universe, we singular entities never had to exterminate a minor specie. But there had never been a relationship like ours before. Not once! I'm afraid Bella will be in grave danger should the Council of Singular Entities find out about our connection. Therefore, I must be careful.

# 10 - Single Figures

Nine months to go! Ah, the elation when I woke up on the morning of the day that brought my countdown into single figures. 'Still far too long for my liking!'

I relaxed my body back into the cocoon of the softness and warmth of my bed, and my mind drifted to Dylan. I couldn't wait to be with him!

He started to teach me everything he knows about the universe. How it develops, forms, and reshapes itself since the beginning of times – like a living, breathing being. Listening to his accounts is so much more valuable and closer to the truth than anything I could learn from old books or recordings or any scientific advances (to which I have no access anyway). Dylan's unique, mesmerizing way of describing it brought the ancient universe to life.

"I wish I could take you with me and show you!" he kept telling me. "Unfortunately you'll have to do with my second-hand accounts for now."

What did he mean by 'for now'? I didn't want to ask. I was painfully aware that I was in love with a being as ancient and experienced as the universe itself. And it made me feel very small, very young, and acutely inexperienced.

"It's like snogging my great-granddad," I sometimes teased him, "but you are so much hotter!" He usually 'punished' me by wrestling me down and tickling me.

'Nine more months!' Carrying this uplifting thought with me throughout the day, I managed to focus on my chores - like meeting up with a new client who turned out to be tedious.

Eleanor Lauri asked me to create an authentic Victorian environment for her, but "Nothing with any dirt or inconveniences!" she demanded. "I want to be comfortable, yet authentic!"

A head-scratcher for me! We settled on her living in the Cheshire countryside as the heiress to a wealthy mill owner in the North West of England. I promised her a draft version of her sphere-environment for later that week. I was eternally grateful when she finally left the library. A quick time check told me I still had two hours to kill before I would see Dylan again. The day kept dragging on, making it impossible to concentrate on my tasks. Sod it! I pushed back from my desk. 'I'll come up with a draft pleasant enough for her.' My new client was clearly not bothered about realism but cared more about a romanticized version of the rural England of Charlotte Brontë and Jane Austen. Fine by me! Her wishes should be easy enough to accommodate. I didn't know about my new client's unfortunate connection to my nemesis – she was the niece of MHA officer Bruce Tw.

By the time I picked up the horses, I NEEDED to see Dylan. I couldn't wait a second longer! The air around me thickened, making it hard to breathe. I walked as fast as I could, careful not to attract unnecessary attention. I always draw a bit of attention when I take the horses and Digger to The Sphere. People love my animals, and they often want a chat with me or pet the animals. My friend Claudia always has an apple ready for the horses and a biscuit for Digger. I did offer to teach her how to ride, so she could take them into her sphere-environment, but she lacks the confidence to do so.

"Some other time," is her standard reply. It pains me to detect remnants of confidence issues. I hope with time, she will overcome them.

As I approached The Sphere, my heartbeat increased, my skin felt hot and tingly, and my knees weakened. Anybody with a basic skill to read body language should have been able to decipher my symptoms. Luckily, Dylan is the only one who can.

I let The Sphere take us.

I recognize the place with my eyes closed. The smell of British Columbia is distinct. Dylan in a sense created its authentic scent. He described it to me so vividly I was able to recreate it in my imagination and incorporate it into our environment. I encouraged Dylan to experiment with influencing the sphere-environment. He refused to because he couldn't be sure that him interfering with the very purpose and fabric of the sanctuary – as he calls The Sphere – would go unnoticed by other singular entities.

The longing in his eyes and his eagerness when he greets me tell me how much he misses me. And it is in moments like this that I know: We belong together – two halves of the same piece. Inseparable!

"Nine months! Only nine months left!" I threw myself into his arms. He fell back into the high autumn grass, taking me down with him, holding me firmly on top of him, although he could have caught me with ease. Show off! I remember this day so well. The smell of autumn, the colors of the leaves, and the crisp and clean quality of the air which allowed me to see the farthest mountains so crystal clear, I could almost touch them!

"This is beautiful!" I marveled.

"You are beautiful!" The serious rasp of his voice set my nerves ablaze. Then his lips were on mine: kissing, deep, hungry, his muscles tensing, his breathing coming hard. He had difficulties restraining himself. He loves nothing better than to see me naked. It arouses him, and I like to tease him with my body. I decided to give him an eyeful and wiggled out of his embrace, stripping off my clothes, and sprinting into the lake. He didn't waste much time and followed me.

"You drive me crazy," he groaned a little later when we lay arm in arm on our backs, warmed by the autumn sun. "It takes a lot of self-discipline to obey the law and not ravish you every time I see you!"

I kissed him. Lips meshed, tongues dancing. "Then don't resist! I can't wait another decade before we satisfy this stupid law. If sphere-time were real-time, I'd be approaching my mid-twenties by now."

He rolled himself on top of me, buried his face in my neck, and whispered into my ear. His hot breath sent shivers down my spine, as he described in minute and graphic detail all the things he planned to do to me on my 18th birthday. Then – when I thought, I couldn't bear it any longer - he traced his lips unrushed and feathery light all the way down from my ear to my collarbone. I gasped and arched my back, straining against the weight of him holding me down. I wanted to clamp my legs around his waist and invite him inside me. But he kept me pinned to the ground with his muscular thighs.

"It will happen, Bella. We have to be patient..." His fingers languidly traced my jawline. "Had I known, how hard it would be to resist you, I wouldn't have revealed my love so early on. It tortures me that I can't make love to you... give us both what we want." His hooded eyes hovered mere inches from mine. "It will be beautiful when we can finally be together." He pushed himself up on his elbows. Holding my face in his hands, he kissed me unhurriedly, deliberately, and thoroughly. I was acutely aware of his hard body on top of me, his warmth, the movement of his muscles, and the coarse texture of his body hair. The world started spinning, and I surrendered to his kiss. Worlds collided all around us and inside me!

That night we lit a fire, watched the mesmerizing dance of the flames, and listened to the sighs of the massive fir trees behind the house as the first autumn storm swept through their crowns, singing a song of winter approaching. We talked about the future. I asked him if he could ever meet my family.

He avoided my gaze; looked over my head and into the distance. He jumped up and paced the room, raking his fingers through his hair. "I would be immobilized and exterminated on the spot if I ever were to interfere with your kind," he said almost inaudible.

A shiver as imposing and cold as the most magnificent glacier traveled down my spine. "No – hang on! That's your punishment if we had sex. If your Council were to put you on trial for being with me after my 18th birthday, I could tell them how much you mean to me and that – despite what they do to you – I would tell my people all about singular entities and..."

He seized my shoulders. Darkness moved across his face. "You must never – promise me – never, ever tell my Council you consider telling humans about us. Don't ever challenge the Elders, or they will kill all of us without remorse!"

"You told me, they were trying to protect us – not kill us!"

"Yes – but the life of humankind is worth nothing compared to the havoc a disclosure like this would cause within the continuum. The Council won't risk it! My kind relies on smooth energy flows. We are not good at adapting to sudden, violent changes in the flux. Such events can cause great harm to us and the universe."

I released a long breath. "I would never do anything to harm you." I gently touched his face, and he relaxed his grip on my shoulders. "Where do you go, when I leave this sanctuary?" I inquired, sudden alarm churning my insides.

"I roam the universe until your aura's signature pops up again." He shrugged his shoulders. "No big deal! I've been doing this for the past 15 billion years." He flippantly dismissed my concern.

"What is it you are not telling me, Dylan?" His casual response gave me an ugly hunch. "What are you hiding from me?"

He was squirming, but I wasn't prepared to drop the case.

He dropped his head, raked his fingers through his hair, and took a deep breath. "Truth is, Bella: I am doomed one way or another. It doesn't matter what I do or don't do. If the Council finds out I am seeing you, they will exterminate me." He exhaled sharply. "The only uncertainty is whether they will terminate you as well. And this will depend on how well you can keep my existence to yourself. You can never tell anybody, and if my Council should ever question you, you will have to pretend to know nothing about my alien nature. For you, I will forever have to be a figment of your imagination." He paced, agitated, like a big beautiful predator. "The reason I can't sleep with you is simple: If I make you break the laws of your society, they will exterminate you – no questions asked; because they won't allow your society to become contaminated by a negative alien influence." He drew another deep breath. "Now you know. I hope you can forgive me for not telling you before. I didn't want to worry you."

I swallowed hard. I was speechless, and it took me a long while before I found my voice again. "Did it never occur to you that a 17-year-old human girl might confide in her mum or her best friend or might go around bragging? Did you ever think about that at all?"

He shook his head. "I know you wouldn't do that," he said confidently. "It's not in your nature to brag, and you would never talk about our relationship to others before discussing it with me. I know you well, Bella." He lifted my chin and brought his lips within half an inch of mine. Excruciating pain and unbearable loss reflecting in his eyes. "Kiss me goodbye now, and I'll leave you in peace forever. His warm breath caressed my lips.

I pushed him away much harder than I intended to. He stumbled backward, arms flailing, struggling for balance, eyes wide open, lips shaped into a perfect O.

"Are you leaving me? Why? To save yourself? I don't understand..." I was pleading. Fear ripped into my guts, and my stomach twisted into a tight ball of liquid fire, churning my insides.

My vision narrowed down and went tunnel.

A tidal wave of terror washed over me.

I went numb.

Parts of my mind disconnected.

I grabbed on to Digger's fur. I saw it, but I couldn't feel it between my fingers.

Digger whined.

"You want me to stay?" he asked incredulously. "After I just told you, my selfish behavior is putting you in mortal danger?"

"But you don't," I growled. "You kept your fingers so off me, I sometimes think, you don't fancy me at all!"

He closed the distance between us in two quick strides. "If only you knew..." He gave me one of his irresistible panty-melting smiles and kissed me – hard this time, passionately, his hands digging into my hair.

'No doubt here – he fancies me!' Then I stopped thinking anything at all.

Worries kept me awake that night. 'How can we ever make this work, if we can only meet inside The Sphere?' I eventually drifted into a fitful sleep from which I woke drenched in cold sweat, haunted by a nightmare about a malfunctioning Sphere and Dylan lost to me forever. The tears streaming down my face mingled with the sweat soaking my sheets. I sneaked out of bed venturing into the cold October night. The storm had calmed down, and the full moon cast its reflection on the lake. I shivered as I entered the lake to swim to the small island which lies no more than 500 meters off its shore. I felt better once I sat on the mossy rocks under the massive spruce firs bordering the island.

I've been brought up to find solutions; in a society, whose greatest assets are resilience and resourcefulness. One thing, which sets space-stationers apart from their Earth-dependent ancestors, is self-sufficiency and impeccable contingency planning. In space, cut off from all lifelines, you have to be able to plan ahead as well as think on your feet. Letting a problem go unsolved is not an option. Failure to find a solution is fatal. It was simple: All I had to do was stay calm, think, and solve the problem. I sat motionless, trying to empty my tortured mind, willing answers to present themselves. When it didn't happen, I started to pace, noticing soon this wouldn't help either. 'I have a 15 billion-year-old alien in my bed – he must know of a solution. It can't be the first time since the creation of the universe this is happening.'

I swam back to wake Dylan. I found him sitting on the couch, knees drawn into his chest, chin resting on his knees, eyes pleading. He looked as miserable as I felt. "There is no solution, my little star," he said calmly. "There really isn't..."

"There has to be!" I cut him off. "I am not taking no for an answer. I'm a space-stationer. We wouldn't have survived this long if we caved in to every little problem!"

"I admire your fire and your spirit, Bella. But believe me. The second anybody finds out, I'm dead. The only thing I can do is keep you from being executed as well... and to try and stay undercover to protect myself of course." He tried to produce a reassuring smile but failed miserably. "This will work if we are both careful. So, please – no mention of me to anybody in the space station. And I will make sure to sneak in and out of The Sphere as carefully as I possibly can."

"We will find a solution!" I can be pig-headed at times.

"I'm sure you will, my love, sure you will." His words spun around and around inside my head. 'He sounds defeated. I need him to fight for a future without restrictions.'

Then my mind flipped over to, 'I'm so lucky to have him in my life. There's no need for anybody else to know. We can have a fulfilled life together here - inside The Sphere.' Then another mental U-turn, 'It'll kill me to live in fear of losing Dylan!' I wanted to chase him away, but I knew I could never, ever live without him. Not in a billion years!

'But at least he will live!' my inner sniveler lamented.

'He wouldn't WANT to live without you!' the egoistic, self-serving bitch piped up.

It drove me mad! I never thought Dylan's appearance in The Sphere would cause so much heartache and pain just a short while down the line. I also never expected to get so close to somebody – ever.

I tossed and turned that night. I failed to reach a conclusion, but I forged a truce with myself: To let the issue rest and concentrate on making sure Dylan would never get caught. Nine more months to go before I could finally, finally be all his. I was grateful I had 15 seconds of sphere-time to spend with him every day. I had no idea, how to stay sane for the duration. My 18th birthday was a lifetime away!

Dawn started to creep in over the mountains when I eventually found some rest in my lover's arms.

"How can I please you this morning?" He ghosted his fingers over my face and kissed me. Tender at first, but deepening the kiss when I reciprocated with passion.

"You are here. That'll do the trick!" I gasped, coming up for air.

"I'm glad you are low maintenance." He smiled. "What about a hot drink, and then we could go for a ride. I think this is the perfect day to break Alchemist in."

"Uh... Alchemist... yes..." I felt a guilty twitch in my stomach, thinking about how I wangled my 15 seconds sphere-allowance. It turned out Alchemist was less than cooperative when it came to riding him. It was hilarious, how he tried to evade being mounted. And if by chance, I managed to get on his back, he strutted across the meadow, head high, snorting in indignation, walking like he was on stilts. We both laughed so hard, it became impossible to work with the young stallion.

"He thinks we are ridiculing him," Dylan said.

"We are!" I replied, and then we both rolled in the long grass, exploding with fits of laughter. Alchemist was less than impressed, and it took us half an hour and more than a fair share of treats to console the dismayed stallion.

"Next time we'll do so much better, my boy," I promised him. He puffed his warm breath against my cheek as if in agreement. 'It might - after all - take a long time to train him anyway.' And I felt immediately better about the little white lie I told officer Tw.

Our 15 days passed far too quickly, and I dreaded the 24 hours without Dylan. This time, the dread was amplified by the worry about him having to leave and re-enter The Sphere. "You take good care!" I told him, as I got ready to exit. "I love you, and it will break my heart should bad things happen to you."

"It's less dangerous than it sounds," Dylan reassured me. "The chances anybody will notice are minimal. Besides – it is not a crime in itself to enter a sanctuary. So even if anybody noticed, they wouldn't necessarily become suspicious." He waved me goodbye.

I reluctantly removed the glove.

# 11 - To Where I Go

The moment Bella left The Sphere, my heart plummeted.

Another lie! Although using a sanctuary isn't unlawful as such, entering one frequently visited by another species would undoubtedly raise suspicions. Chances were slim the Council would ever learn about this particular set up. However, I needed to make sure no harm would come to Bella or any space-stationer - whichever way the story was destined to go. This was my duty, my prime concern. I was never worried about my own safety.

24 hours to roam the universe – 15 days with Bella. This was the tidal flow of my existence, and I took great care to conceal this regular pattern in the stochastic background of the cosmos. Previously, I paid little attention to my whereabouts, swerving around to absorb the power of dark matter clusters, young supernovae, or just mop up the energy morsels left behind in the wake of a black hole. From now on, I would visit every corner of the universe at random. Make sure to swing by some sanctuaries I'd used before to spend time inside. I avoid bumping into other singular entities too often. And if I did, I left them after a quick exchange. 24 hours is a long time to roam the universe - especially when you have something to hide and something to look forward.

I approached the space station from different angles each time I followed Bella's call. To avoid creating a visible path leading toward it, which could attract other singular entities with a more sensitive perception than mine. For all I knew, my energy signature might look like glow-in-the-dark paint smeared all around the space station to some of them. I doubted it, but better to be safe than sorry.

I needed the time in between visits to replenish. When inside The Sphere, adopting my human form, I live on food like humans do. But once outside, once I assumed my energy-body, I needed to start hoovering up cosmic power. Lengthy confinement within a sanctuary is one of the methods to exterminate singular entities, and 15 days inside The Sphere depleted my energetic stores more than I expected. My energy stocks run dangerously low when cut off from my sources. It's much like unplugging a battery-powered machine and letting it run until the batteries are dead.

It scared me to leave Bella because I couldn't protect her.

I was also acutely aware of Bella's mortality, and 300 years are close to nothing compared to since-the-beginning-of-the-universe. I was grateful for the time expansion we gained thanks to the unique properties of The Sphere. If only we could spend all of her remaining lifetime inside, our accumulated time together would amount to nearly 26 million sphere-years.

The thought of having to say my final goodbye to Bella terrifies me. I push it far away, refusing to contemplate! I bite back the nausea rising every time I tally up the pathetic amount of time left.

"I promise to make you very, very happy for the time we will be together," I murmur an oath to my lover every time before I get on my way through the maze of galaxies and the vast endless gravitational planes of the universe to spend the next 24 hours filling up and covering my tracks.

On my journeys, I visit the oldest parts of the universe - the very edges of its expanding body. Even singular entities don't know what lies beyond the fringes of our universe. Space-time expands at a rate faster than the speed of light, and bizarre warps within the space-time continuum create dark flows, which exert unimaginable forces, sweeping galaxies along at a speed of two million miles an hour. It's the gravitational pull of objects outside our own universe creating these dark flows. Those areas are beyond our reach. Singular entity philosophers and scientists discuss the possibilities of traveling to other universes. From all we know, wormhole-like structures must exist, forming passages between universes; like the billions of wormhole passages connecting the fabric of space-time within our own universe. It's just not within our abilities to detect those structures.

However powerful singular entities are, there is every reason to believe we have our limitations - like any other species in the universe. We are not gods! Some think they are unique and irreplaceable in the universe. To tell the truth: Most of the trillions of species we know of wouldn't be missed. In some cases, their extinction would be a blessing!

According to the Fermi paradox, technologically highly advanced races tend to destroy themselves by creating extinction-level events – like habitat destruction or planetary wars. Tragically, their technological ability peaks before they reach the social and political maturity to wield their powers responsibly.

I close my eyes, remembering the Sorcerer's Apprentice, a ballad Bella introduced me to when I told her about how humanity brought itself to the brink of extinction during The Final War after it had plunged planet Earth into a near-catastrophic environmental crisis. This ballad, written by the German poet and statesman Johann Wolfgang von Goethe in 1797 – just over 1,100 years before The Final War – is a fitting analogy.

That time, when she threw her arms around my neck, laughing and reciting a famous line from said poem! I sigh in reverie, feeling her body against mine as if she were here with me.

"Oh, here comes my Master! Sir, my need is sore. Spirits that I summoned, my commands ignore!"

"Your wish is my command, my little star," I growled.

"Make love to me!" she demanded.

"You know I can't..." Her words twisted my heart into impossible knots. Denying her floored me! I wished I were nothing but a man, a space-stationer, her man, her lover.

I started to dread the months ahead, knowing she would try to seduce me at every opportunity. I suppose this is a symptom of having a limited life expectancy. Every day counts. And even I, who will live until the universe dies; even I was impatient and didn't want to waste what precious little time we had.

I got creative. Had to come up with ways to distract her! Engaging her mind proved the most successful tactic. I taught her relaxation techniques so ancient, even the universe has forgotten their origins. I experimented with moving my low-voltage energy flows along her meridians and mesh them with hers, creating gentle turbulence, tickling her neural pathways. Bella's response to my caress is like a collision of electric storms!

"It's like having you inside me!" she gasped the first time I tried it. It was a clumsy first attempt, but I've refined the technique since, and I can give her 'unimaginable pleasures' by intermingling our life forces she never tires of telling me. Pleasure. Torture. It's all and everything for me.

# 12 - Apparitions

I wandered aimlessly through the station.

Again – I had to face 24 hours without Dylan. 24 hours to fret over his safety, finding relief only once I saw him again. Fear kept me awake most nights, and the accumulated lack of sleep took its toll. Leaden weariness weighed me down and more than once, I found myself on the verge of tears. Not being able to confide in my family exacerbated things.

Lovers' secrets are a curious thing: We cherish them because they provide us with a unique, almost sacred bond to the beloved. Then they drive us crazy because we have to keep them to ourselves, unable to share them with our confidants. And in the end, they leave a rank taste of sadness and guilt in our mouth, because kept secrets betray our nearest and dearest. Withholding the truth in an environment so small and socially interconnected was hard. Space-stationers don't lie to each other!

Occasionally, kids will hide a treasured object under their bed, or young lovers keep their relationship under wraps for a few days or even weeks, to heighten the experience of shared togetherness. Those are small things. We never conceal important things. Decisions which could affect the social fabric of the space station require public consultation. The space station is a democratic technocracy, and an expert panel makes decisions after discussing implications with the public. Depending on the issue, the group of experts changes. If one lives long enough, has gained experience, and a reputation in their field of work, he or she will almost inevitably end up serving on panel-duties at some point.

I walked to the library, where Eleanor Laurie was already waiting to receive the plot for her Cheshire Life sphere-scenario.

"Ah – sorry. I didn't expect you back so soon," I forced a cheery smile. "I haven't made much progress with your scenario, I'm afraid. Did you want to add any further specifications?" And although I wanted nothing more than to be rid of my annoying new customer, I managed to maintain a professional, friendly tone.

"Ah, no!" My client waggled her hands lazily in front of her face as if to swat away some pesky insects. Of course, insects did not exist on the space station – apart from inside the pollination chambers in hydroponics. On impulse, I decided to incorporate a few irritating insects into my client's world.

"I apologize for the delay, but I was feeling rather tired."

"Oh – I hope it's not worries keeping you awake," Eleanor was genuinely concerned.

"No, no! It's my young horse. He's harder to teach than his dam, and his training occupies my mind. That's all." I was pleased I managed to spread my made-up explanation so easily.

"I know. My uncle told me."

I felt question marks growing on my face, unable to make a connection.

"I suppose you don't know that Bruce Tw is my uncle," Eleanor elaborated.

Hot acid trickled down my spine when I learned about my client's affiliation to the MHA officer.

"Ah... I had no idea. What a coincidence!" I tried my best to sound casual.

"My uncle knows I'm interested in horses," she said. "That's why he told me. I think his main goal was to get me off the idea of engaging with 'the beasts' as he calls them, but I really couldn't care less. Anyway, I hope you can incorporate some horses into my Cheshire-country-life scenario?" Her cheeks glowed with excitement.

"Shouldn't be a problem." The unease I felt around Eleanor lifted all of a sudden.

"Would you like other animals as well?" I got all excited. "We can include anything you want."

"Well actually – I do feel a bit foolish to ask, but do you know what a zoo is?" Eleanor looked embarrassed.

"I do, and if I'm right, Chester Zoo was one of the best ones there was!"

Eleanor looked at me blankly. "Chester Zoo...?"

"Yes – Chester was the capital of Cheshire, and also home to a famous zoo. I'm sure I can incorporate it nicely into your scenario."

Researching this task occupied me for the next five hours, and when I left the library, I was running late for my evening meal. Not that it mattered much. Mum didn't cook. She programmed the food processor and waited for the few seconds it took to assemble the meal. Still – Mum was rather old-fashioned and liked to have the family around the table for evening meals. Dad often joked that backwardness was the most significant occupational hazard for historians. I grimaced at the thought of being late. It would cause Mum to ask more questions and monitor me even more closely.

I needn't have fretted this time. When I arrived home – about 10 minutes late for tea – I found my parents' quarters in a rare state of agitation. My mother was running around in circles, and Dad was pacing the big sitting room, shaking his head, and muttering to himself.

"What's going on?" Alarm bells rang! A hot, tight knot of fear condensed inside my stomach to an almost painful level. Sweat beaded on my forehead.

"Your mother thinks, she saw something in your quarters," Dad explained.

"SomeBODY," Mum corrected him forcefully.

"In... my quarters...?" The hot fear-knot expanded and forced itself up my throat. I couldn't stop my legs from shaking. Any longer and my knees would be rattling the Radetzky March!

"So who was it?" I asked as casually as possible without gagging on my terror. I wanted to grab my mother by the shoulders and shake the answer out of her! Violently!

"I don't know..." Shrug of shoulders, apologetic expression. "Your dad thinks it was my imagination playing tricks, but I saw a form. A man."

"I'm not hiding a man in my quarters, Mum." I alternated between amusement and rigor. "It must have been a mirage."

Mum looked doubtfully from me to Dad and back again.

"Something's not quite right. Something's going on with you, Bella. And I'm dying to find out what it is you are not telling me!"

"Mum! You can't possibly hold me responsible for the phantoms you see, or for your gut feelings taking a wrong turn. Dad – please. Help me out here...?"

Dad shook his head and kept pacing. "Your mother doesn't tend to see phantoms, and her intuition is mostly spot-on."

"Dad..." My anxious brain groped feverishly for damage control measures when my father raised his hand to stop me.

"And I have to agree with your mum: you do seem unusually tense lately. But I'm also sure, you don't hide a man in your room." He smiled warmly. "It's fine with me if you have a boyfriend. Please, make sure to keep your amorous activities within the law."

Bright red! I felt my face taking on the color of beetroot, and I wanted to kick my father for mentioning a boyfriend!

"Mum, Dad..." Deep breath! "There's no man in my life. Not in a romantic sense anyway. The last thing I need right now is a boyfriend!" The color on my face intensified. "And besides," keep breathing, "there is nobody I fancy."

"I know what I saw," Mum insisted stubbornly. "And whatever you two say doesn't change this fact!"

"Perhaps you should go and see the doctor, dear?" Dad suggested. "You know deteriorating eyesight can lead to seeing things which are not there."

"Nonsense!" Mum turned sharply on her heels and left the room, spitting nails, sensing there was nothing left to be gained by carrying on this conversation.

"I hate it when she's upset," I mumbled.

"Ah, it's all right. She'll come round soon enough. And maybe she will see a doctor about her eyes. Space sometimes plays tricks on people. The medical history books are full of folks claiming to see things. Nothing ever came of it, mind you. Who knows, aliens might exist, and perhaps they do study us. And maybe... sometimes, when the conditions are right, we can see them..."

My face started burning again. I turned around swiftly. "I best go and check my quarters then. I don't want any aliens lurking under my bed."

The atmosphere around the table was tense, and I had to force myself to eat the lasagna Mum pulled out of the food processor - prepared, using an old family recipe. What if it had been Dylan showing up? And not my mother's imagination? What if he was in trouble and whoever turned up in my room, was looking for him... hunting him?' A piece of lasagna lodged itself into my throat, refusing to go down any further. I swallowed my throat constricting even more, unable to move the lump of food. "Excuse me," I croaked and stormed to the food processor to get a glass of water. I managed to force the cumbersome bite down, but Dylan's warning about upsets in the cosmic flows, and how they could attract singular entities abraded the fragile veneer of my fake calm. I need to keep it together... For Dylan's sake. I concentrated on stopping my hands from shaking.

"I shall see the horses, before bedtime," I announced. "Alchemist was a naughty boy today. He kicked Silvercloud. I want to make sure she is okay. I might stop at the library afterward. I have a new client, and she set me an exciting task. Don't wait up for me." I threw my serviette on the table with as much nonchalance as I could muster, binned my plate and cutlery into the recycling system, and left my parents' quarters.

The stables were quiet; the horses settled for the night. I patted their long elegant necks and gave each horse an apple before I went to the library to immerse myself into further research about the history of Chester Zoo and the creation of Eleanor Lauri's sphere-world. I managed to work concentrated for three more hours before I felt tired enough to go home.

'Wouldn't it be nice, if Dylan were waiting in my bed?' The thought made my heart beat faster and created a warm, fuzzy feeling in my belly.

"Lovely evening, Bella ΞΙ," Barnes's hushed voice attacked me.

I jerked to a halt, squealed, and jumped out of my skin. "Barnes!" I screamed, fighting hard to regain my composure.

"I like doing it, lass. Admit – it's the only spice you historians get in life," he teased.

'If only you knew, Barnes, if only you knew.' I smiled sweetly.

"I'd probably bore myself to an early death if it wasn't for Mr. Creepy-Crawly-Engineer-cum-Rose-Gardener, who likes to ambush me and give me a heart attack."

"The gardener is always the murdered..." Barnes philosophized. "But I have'na intention of killing ye, lass. In fact – I need yer to help me research hybridization techniques for roses. I wan'ta start experimenting with me own hybrids." His broadening Scott-infused accent and the tap-dancing routine his feet performed all on their own account were a dead giveaway of his excitement. Not to speak of the gleeful smile illuminating his craggy face!

"Sure Barnes, can do any time you want, but not now! I should go and grab some sleep. I'm dog-tired."

"T'is horse of yers still keeping ye awake then?"

"Sure, I think it might be awhile before he starts to understand, what I want him to do."

"Ah, he'll come round for sure. He just wants da drag out his freedom for a wee bit longer."

"Could be that. Can't blame the beast either. Good night, Barnes. Sleep well. See you tomorrow sometime?"

"Sure. Good night to you too. I'll drop by around 3 pm. T'is okay with you?"

I nodded agreement.

When I entered my quarters, I half expected to find my alien lover. But the room was empty, and nobody had been visiting as far as I could tell. I plunged myself onto my bed. 'Ah Dylan, how I wish you were here. I wish, we wouldn't have to hide because of some stupid intergalactic laws, neither of us believes in. I hope you are safe...'

Closing my eyes, I invoked Dylan - his velvety voice, the electrifying sensation of his hands on my skin, the scrumptious taste of his kisses, the iron hardness of his muscles, and the silken softness of his hair. 'This is so not going to help me sleep!' I kicked the duvet back in frustration. My parents' hushed voices traveled from the lounge, separated from mine by a connecting door. I could just about distinguish my parents' voices. Mum was clearly agitated while Dad was trying to soothe and placate her. Some things never change... The family dynamics had been like this forever. My mother the warrior - my dad the negotiator.

"A bit like you and me, Dylan my love," I whispered into the pitch-dark of my room.

Pangs of bad conscience gnawed at me for causing my parents so much concern. 'I need to find a way to make Dylan and me work. No upsetting everybody's energy flux, no attracting other singular entities.'

I felt selfish and immature for letting my fears and ambitions reign my emotions.

# 13 - Bella

Fear was the first thing to grab hold of me when my mum told me about 'the man in my room.' The life-or-death need to see Dylan, reassure myself he was unharmed, overwhelmed me. Was he entering the space station, or could it be another singular entity? I needed to hear it from him! That whatever my mum saw was nothing but a mirage. That night, I didn't get much sleep. I busied myself with jotting down ideas and drafting elaborate plans for Barnes's rose garden. When morning finally arrived, dazzling my gritty eyes, I wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep until it was sphere-time again. But I couldn't risk drawing attention to myself, no matter how exhausted I felt. Staying in bed would be the equivalent of turning myself into the Mental Health Authority. And there was no way I would risk losing even one precious second with my alien boyfriend! Just thinking about Dylan lifted my mood. 'I'll sleep in his arms tonight.' Calm washed over me, slowed my nervous heartbeat, and lapped up my fear, smoothing its jagged edges.

I took Digger for his morning stroll to the stables. Not that there was much to see or sniff, but he needed a stretch of legs anyway. We were all looking forward to going back inside The Sphere. I can tell from the longing looks, my animal friends cast toward The Sphere every time we get close.

"I wish I could take us all back to Earth to see the real British Columbia!" I told the animals. They looked at me inquiringly – but then, they always do when I talk to them.

"I wish we could pack ourselves into a spaceship, make our way back to Earth, and settle there."

'We will take Dylan.' The thought thrilled me! It burrowed into my mind like a woodworm beetle and started drilling away. I didn't dare to speak out Dylan's name aloud within the space station. Not even to my animals. However small the chances, but somebody might overhear me and start to wonder. I couldn't take the risk.

Each day at precisely 2 pm we entered The Sphere, enveloped by the warped space-time field surrounding it. And then we were inside! The glove molded itself to my hand and melded with my skin. I would not notice it until it was time to take it off again.

The Sphere placed us in the meadow between the house and the lake. The horses galloped off, bucking, and playing to their hearts' contents. Digger ran off, nose to the ground, going after the scent of a squirrel or a rabbit. I searched for Dylan and spotted him standing at the shore of the lake. I walked toward him. Hesitantly at first, then faster, and finally, I broke into a wild run. I screamed with delight! He opened his arms to catch me. I leaped, and as he so often does, he let himself fall over backward, pulling me with him so that I landed on top of him. This time we splashed right into the lake! We laughed and spluttered, like happy children with no concern, no worries, no restrictions; unburdened by knowledge about the reality of life and love.

We walked back to the house soaking wet, oblivious to the sharp chill in the autumn air. Dylan had prepared a roaring fire and a pile of warm blankets, ready to wrap our naked selves into, was stacked next to it.

"You planned this!" I giggled.

He nodded with gleeful enthusiasm. "Needed you naked." His eyes sparkled. Mischief! Danger! His heated eyes took all my giggles away and replaced them with lust, so intensive it brought me to my knees. We ripped our wet clothes off and wrapped up in the warm blankets and the cocoon of our embrace. I remember being cozy, warm, and safe with not a care in the world. The good feeling lasted for all of three minutes before I couldn't delay it any longer. "Dylan...," I broached the subject, "you didn't happen to make an appearance on the space station last night by any chance?"

He looked at me nonplussed, and my heart sank.

"I'm asking because my mum is adamant, she saw 'a man' in my room."

Dylan shook his head. "I wouldn't dare to draw attention to yourself or your family."

"I thought so." Hot acid churned inside my stomach. "Could it be..." I swallowed hard against the rising bile. "Could it be another singular entity caught on to us?"

Dylan tugged his lips, pinched his nose, and rubbed his face, pondering my question before he answered. "I doubt it. If someone were on our tail, we would know – I'm sure. However, there is the possibility of another singular entity visiting the space station by chance and wasn't careful enough. Sometimes, in an environment like the space station, the energy flows are fluctuating more rapidly than they would in open space. Occasionally, such an environment can force a singular entity to take on a gestalt. It can be hard to control, and if that happened at the moment your mum looked, she might have witnessed it."

"I see..." Was this a possible the origin of ghost stories? I liked this explanation! It connected with ancient history, myth, and lore.

"You could say so." Dylan – mind reading again! "Now, no more ghost stories. I want to feel your lips on mine and..." He didn't get any further. I granted his wish.

I must have fallen asleep because it was already dark when I came to. Dylan was tending the fire, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. His naked torso glowing golden, illuminated by the dancing flames. I sat back and watched my boyfriend, enjoying this very private moment.

"Did you sleep well?" He was still facing the fire.

I have no idea how, but he always knows when I'm awake. "Uhm... yes... thanks." I reeled my errant imagination in and stretched languidly. "What's for dinner?" Cheeky cow! I love his food creations! He's an experimental cook, and I could die for his blueberry pancakes, or wild mushroom-stuffed squashes, or anything I can lick off his skin... I slapped a lid onto the boiling pot of my steamy fantasies.

He came over to where I sat, knelt in front of me, and ran his hands up my bare legs, unbearably slow and deliberate, sending sensual electric currents licking along my meridians. He stopped when he reached my upper thighs. There was longing in his hooded eyes – raw and unapologetic – and it made my mouth go arid. And did I catch a glimpse of defiance in them? His jaw clenched, and he settled on giving my thighs a tender squeeze before he pulled his hands away – reluctantly. He left me with a pleasant tingle, which went way beyond my legs, and the need for more. I weaved my arms around his neck, and pulled him toward me. His pupils dilated, eating up the stormy gray of his irises, and then his lips descended on mine. Applying light pressure at first, but quickly getting raunchy, demanding my mouth to part. I reclined and pulled him half on top of me. I moaned when I felt his hard muscular torso pressing into me. His breath quickened. He wanted me too! Then - as expected - he pulled away abruptly, leaving me panting with frustration.

"Damn the law!" I cried out, punching the innocent pile of blankets next to me.

Dylan brushed his fingers along my cheek, down my neck, and across my collarbone. "I so can't wait for us to become one." His eyes held the promise his voice verbalized.

We went mushroom picking the next day. The horses stayed at the house, but we took Digger with us into the dense temperate coastal rainforest of British Columbia. I love this forest with its majestic spruces, and firs, the ferns, cedar, and broad-leaf maple, which make up the foliage of this magical world. Its top layer is shrouded in near-permanent mist which rises in the mornings and gets trapped in the tops of the biggest trees where it covers the canopy like a blanket, allowing pale light to filter through to the moist and fertile forest ground below. Water is abundant in the vast, fast-flowing rivers and the myriad of small creeks and streams. The humidity level hovers around the 100 percent mark, and once we entered the rainforest, we got covered in a layer of moisture. Fairy Land. This place never failed to put a spell on us!

"The energy is so dense and raw and primeval in here." Dylan relished its strengths. He stood with his head thrown back, eyes closed, savoring the treat. "If I were in here in my singular entity form, I could feed off them, gorge myself, and never get enough."

"Be my guest!" I feasted my eyes on him. "Why bother with a few mushrooms?"

"I couldn't assume my singular entity form in here." Regret laced his voice. "I don't know how The Sphere would react to hosting a human and a singular entity at the same time. It could be catastrophic..."

"Mushrooms it is then!" I tried to sound cheerful, but his mention of a catastrophic failure of The Sphere bothered me. What if being here in his human form caused failure as well? Only at a slower rate. It wasn't the first time I felt the pressing urge to get away from the confinement of The Sphere, leave the space station, and find our own place to live. My heart was set on the real British Columbia back on Earth.

As if he'd read my thoughts, Dylan turned around and said, "Wouldn't it be fantastic, if we could live in those primeval forests back on Earth?"

"I think you ARE mind reading." It wasn't the first time he surprised me by picking up my mental threads.

"We are on the same wavelength, that's all." He kissed me, so light and tender it felt like a butterfly brushed my lips. "I love you more than the universe itself... you know?" He looked deadly serious. "Never forget this. Whatever happens!"

"You scare me!" His words sent icy shivers running up and down my spine. I didn't want to think about anything bad happening. I brusquely stepped away from my dark thoughts and carried on walking. Dylan followed me, donning his usual lighthearted nature again. He took my hand and laced his fingers with mine. We walked for another hour before we made camp at the bank of a creek. We call it the 'Little Peace River' because it flows so tranquil, its surface sparkling with the reflections of rays of sunshine. Its murmur is a hypnotic poem. Sitting by its bank, watching, listening, soaking it up is like a Zen meditation.

I don't know, how long I sat, allowing my mind to go empty and my heart to fill with joy and love and anticipation before Dylan stepped up behind me and broke the spell in the gentlest possible way by placing his warm hands heavily on my shoulders, nuzzling my neck. "Time to eat, my love," he whispered. He helped me up, and we walked the short distance to the camp where one of his mouthwatering concoctions was simmering in a pan over the open fire. He sat me down and handed me a plate heaped with food. I wolfed it down gratefully.

"How about we leave this place and go to the real British Columbia?" I broke the silence.

He raised his eyebrows. "If you had five billion years to live," he answered in a pained voice that squeezed my heart, "I would pack you and me into a spaceship, and we would travel all the way to Earth and back if we had to." He choked, squeezed his eyes shut, and furiously rubbed his face. He was close to tears, and I felt the raw agony inflicted by our vastly different lifespans. I saw my life ahead, contracting into no more than the blink of an eye, the regrets of not being able to be with him forever. But I also felt the joy, the love, the anticipation, and the gratitude to have met the love of my life. It is Dylan, who will have to live through eternity without me.

"We'll be all right here," he said and pulled me into a tight hug – the sort that says, 'I never want to let you go.' I sank into his embrace and let him wash over me and cover me with warmth and love and compassion. "I will never understand, how you found me or why you wanted to find me in the first place," I said. "But I am glad you made the effort."

"Only took me 15 billion years...." He half-smiled, his gaze overflowing with love. "Well worth the wait, though!" Another one of his passionate kisses tipped me over the edge. Dylan is fiercely sensual, and however innocent his touch might be, it screams 'sex' to me – NOW! My legs more wobbly than ever before and feeling weak with lust, I had to restrain myself not to act like a lunatic and try to overpower him. I smirked – not trying to hide a single one of my increasingly indecent thoughts.

"Do I have to throw you into the creek, Bella?" He pulled back from me, and I could tell how much self-discipline it took him to separate his lips from mine.

"Should we go for a swim?" I suggested. "You look like you could do with a cool down yourself." I teased. I guided my eyes down his torso. He lifted my chin before I could get a glimpse of the giveaway bulge in his denim.

"Don't look, Bella! It'll only make it harder for both of us." Nice pun! He jumped up, threw me over his shoulder, and marched us toward the creek. I remember squealing and begging for mercy, but to no avail. It was the second time within 48 hours, we ended up drenched and had to snuggle up wrapped in warm blankets afterward. Fine by me!

Digger licked my face.

"...go away..." I grumbled.

Dylan was already up, cooking breakfast. "Want some?" he asked cheerfully.

"Go on then." I was still naked underneath the blanket which had slipped down to my waist.

Dylan watched me intently. He inhaled sharply. "You are so damn beautiful!"

I pulled the blanket up to cover my breasts and blew him a kiss. Four months to go before my 18th birthday!

We spent two more days foraging before it was time to go back. As always after a lengthy spell of traveling, I felt a great sense of homecoming once I saw the house appear after we cleared the last of the massive fir trees which separate the meadows from the forest. The cabin I dreamed up at the Pacific coast of British Columbia was my real home now.

The space station became more and more relegated to being a waiting room where I had to spend time in between my meetings with Dylan. And like all waiting rooms, it had something depressing about it. Although it was only 24 hours between visits, time passed unbearably slow. Treacle! Tar! Goo!

I started talking more frequently about building a spaceship to take us back to Earth, where we could live our lives in the real world - not just in some fantasy environment. I discussed it with Dylan often and - as reluctant as he was at first - he came round to the idea fairly quickly. I think he liked the prospect of us starting over somewhere real.

Apart from the non-existence of warp engines, which would allow us to travel well above the speed of light without needing a wormhole, we also had to think about the practicalities of Dylan and me living together outside the shielded environment of The Sphere.

"You would think after 15 billion years of existence, you knew how these things work!" I goaded him humorously.

A shoulder shrug was his standard reply to matters of 'aided transportation.' "I don't need such inferior crutches. I can travel at will wherever, whenever."

"Isn't it possible to take me with you?" I was only half-joking.

"I don't think anybody ever attempted it. Apart from being lethal for the courier, it might well be lethal for the passenger... and the last thing I want to risk is your life."

He followed up his answer with his standard apology: a deep kiss... hmm... make that a blood-boiling-deep kiss. I think this one was just to shut me up. But I'm not deterred easily.

"So," I carried on, once I managed to come up for breath, "...do you think, you could find a guinea pig and try it out?"

"It would have to be a creature pretty close to a human," he said, "I'm not sure I would like to sacrifice Digger or one of the horses..."

"Of course not!" And that was the end of this conversation.

Too soon, it was time to leave The Sphere and start my next stint without Dylan. I would hate every minute of it! Dylan always tried to keep my spirits up; to make the separation less painful. It was difficult for him as well. Although it was vital to recharge with cosmic energy, leaving The Sphere could potentially put him in great danger if a singular entity noticed him and drew the right conclusions.

I feared for his life every time I had to go back. I made a decision: I would seek help. My friend Barnes was an expert propulsion-engine engineer after all, and he might have some useful ideas.

# 14 - Barnes

When Bella came to meet me in Engineering, I didna ken what to make of it. We'd known each other for a while, but I couldna remember, her ever calling me at work. The lass sat down next to me, mesmerized by the multi-dimensional displays: A holographic representation of every part of the station's electronic systems. Asked too many a question about this and that before laying down her hand.

"Could one use the holo-system to construct and test novel engines?"

My ears pricked up. T'is wasna gonna be a mere chit-chatty inquiry.

"Why would ye want to build new engines? Where would ye go in this forsaken quadrant of the universe? Next space rock's a million light-years away!"

"Earth," she replied so matter-of-fact, I was speechless for some while.

"That's a five billion year journey... unless you hava wormhole to connect to."

"Could we not cut the travel time down, if we designed a warp engine?"

Definitely notta chit chat! "Such a thing doesna exist, dear lass."

"Not yet, but what IF... please imagine what IF we could... construct one?"

"We donna have the knowledge or the technology to invent one. Wouldna know where to start..." I wanted to scrub this spaceship-shaped flying pig from her mind, but at the same time, I felt like betraying my friend. The lass deserved a better effort than my pathetic 'I give up' attitude.

"I'ma ole'n rusty," I grumbled, "but ye might wanna talk to young Nick Cole. The lad's one of the brightest and most adventurous engineers we had inna long time." I rubbed my stubbly chin, thinking further. "Frankly – ye would do me a big favor if ye help me keep his mind occupied. The lad's quite a handful and neva satisfied with the way things are done round here."

She clapped her hands together in delight. "He sounds just like my maaan..."

She was clearly mocking me! "Let's go find 'im then!" I said, not knowing I had set the wheel of destiny in motion.

# 15 - Nick & Bella

'Holy Mother Universe!' The sharp breath I sucked in produced a near whistle.

Nick Cole, the man Barnes introduced me to, was nothing short of remarkable! Tall, dark, and fiercely handsome, Nick's heritage was liberally splashed across his features: First Nations from his mother's side and Irish from his father's. Sharp cheekbones framed by long darkest-chocolate hair flowing over broad shoulders. Dark-brown eyes with a hint of twinkle pulled me in. Nick apparently worked out more than the average space-stationer – or perhaps it was the physical labor of his job keeping him fit. A streak of grease across his face gave him a ferocious look.

'Like he stepped out of the forest of British Columbia!' I could almost hear the heavy beat of ceremonial drums and smell the smoke of the tribal wood fires. Everything about Nick was exciting, yet easy-going and natural at the same time. This man never tried too hard.

There was no denying the instantaneous and highly reactive chemistry between us.

"It's good to meet you, Nick." I stood transfixed, mesmerized by Nick's sharp facial features graced by a five o'clock shadow. His dark eyes held mine hostage. Looking back on our first encounter I'm pretty sure, I drooled.

"Delighted to meet you too, Bella." He held my hand and gaze for much longer than necessary or appropriate. We both exhaled sharply as we simultaneously let go to take a step back.

"Bella here wants a chat with ye about propulsion engines," Barnes opened up the conversation.

"Be my guest." Nick opened his arms in an inviting gesture and smiled. "Let's sit down." He pointed toward a functional seating area next to a food processor. "Can I get you anything?"

My body responded to his voice, which was thrumming with the age-old compulsion to 'feed and protect' his woman. Or maybe it was just his proper upbringing. A blazing heat unfurled inside my belly like a big, beautiful, dangerous wildcat.

"Not for me, thanks."

Nick's face crumbled, and I regretted my polite refusal. But an irrational panic that I might spill the drink all over myself or worse - over Nick - and make a complete fool of myself, prevented me from accepting his offer.

"Steady on, lass!" Barnes grumbled when Nick went to fetch drinks for the men. "Ye look like a rabbit caught in headlights."

"I never knew we had such a handsome guy on this station." My adoring sigh was immediately punished by a shock wave of excruciating guilty shame. Dylan!

"That's because ye neva get out of those stables and the library, my dear lass." Barnes looked pleased with himself. "Could matchmaking be my second profession?"

"Go away, Barnes!" Red heat flushed my cheeks. "I'm not that interested, okay?"

"Suit yourself, lass. Suit yourself." Barnes grinned and took the hot, strong coffee (milk and two sugars) from Nick's hand, thanking him.

"You sure I can't get you anything... Bella?" Nick's intense eyes fixed disturbingly on me.

"Uhm... no thanks, but really – thanks," I stammered. 'Pants... I'm behaving like a fool!' I wanted to kick myself.

Nick eased himself down opposite us, leaning over the table toward me.

"What can I do for you guys?" he asked.

"Faster than light travel," Barnes broached the subject.

Nick cocked his head, raising his eyebrows.

I picked up the thread, "I wanted to know your opinion about the Ifs and Buts. You know... if it can be done at all and if you could help me build a warp drive and..."

'Shit! ...stop rambling!' I cursed myself for allowing Barnes to take me straight into this meeting without preparation to make my queries concise. 'Nick must think I'm a complete idiot.' I was furious with myself! I had one shot at this, and I fluffed it.

"It's an interesting question, and I have to say, one that has been occupying my mind for a while." Nick's sensuous mouth and dark eyes competed to produce the most heart-stopping smile. "If you are free later, I would like to explain it to you in more detail. I'll have to get back to work, but what about tonight?" His eyes were pleading with me. I couldn't have refused him if I wanted to.

"Oh... of course," I found myself in a state of semi-shock, "I didn't think you would take me seriously at all. I shall lay out my ideas better and meet up with you after work. When and where suits you best?"

We agreed to meet at 7 pm on the main deck where The Sphere hovered.

Nick excused himself and left Barnes and me behind in the canteen. The place was empty this time of day. Lunch was long over and the evening crowd would not eat for at least another three hours. Barnes retired, leaving me to my own devices. I was mulling over the meeting. Absentmindedly I played with Nick's cup. A plastic composite – durable yet wafer-thin, which would be broken down into its molecular components and reformed into anything from food to clothes during the recycling process. I mused about the curse of the unimaginable amounts of plastic waste which choked Earth's oceans back in the 20th and 21st centuries and humanity's inability to tackle the problem efficiently. Some ocean-dwelling creatures, like the big sea turtles and even the majestic whales, were driven to the brink of extinction; either by mistaking plastic bags for food or by getting entangled in floating debris and subsequently drowning. The fossil fuel industry had a stranglehold on planet Earth and no intention of weaning humankind off. 'And nowadays you are such an innocent little thing, invaluable to us in a sense, that you will go through a perfect recycling process and never cause any harm.' I threw the cup – the cup Nick's lips touched! \- into the recycler, having to fight the irrational urge to keep it. 'Damn! Get a grip!' I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

I made my way back to the library where I intended to work on a more concise plot of why we should be undertaking a voyage back to Earth. 'Because at the end we will have to sell the plan to the expert committees and the public.' The thought alone caused my stomach to knot.

I breathed a long exhale and sat down at the big library computers to download and scrutinize thousands of years' worth of IASA files. The International Aeronautics and Space Administration was formed in the year 2090 from what used to be NASA as an attempt for the globalization of advances in space research and engineering.

Their repositories were vast, and it took me the best part of three hours to extract the information I needed. Now, it would be a matter of sifting through the data and separate the feasible from the outright bonkers. I could do bits of it, but only an imaginative engineer could evaluate the mountain of information. Nick had to be 'the one'!

* * *

Bella hit me like a fiery comet head on! For the first time in my 20 years, butterflies swarmed inside my stomach. I knew who Bella was, of course – everybody on the station knew- but I never met her in person, and I sorely regretted the missed opportunities. I stepped back into my safety gear, still floating on cloud nine after our meeting. I couldn't wait to see her again later that evening.

I had an hour to rush home and make myself presentable after the end of my shift. I'm not a vain person, but I wanted to look my best without looking like I tried too hard. I ended up being early, and I took this time to study The Sphere before Bella arrived. The Sphere has inspired me for all of my life. From the first time I entered, I was hooked. The imaginary world and endless possibilities it provides fascinate me as much as the beauty of its technology.

After thousands of years, The Sphere is still an enigma, and we are no closer to understanding its unique properties, its origin, its materials, or its workings. How DOES it work? How can it interact with our minds to materialize visions? How does it manipulate space-time? We don't have answers to these and many other questions. At best, we have guesses and theories. None of which were ever challenged or scientifically researched. Among the scientists and engineers of our society, wanting to examine The Sphere was considered taboo. Instead, we diverted our efforts into looking for clues outside the station and found excuses to build inferior technology when we had the perfect enigma to study right in front of our noses. I could never get my head around it, but I understood that going down the path of using sphere-technology as a blueprint for something novel was not an option. Not in the prevailing climate! More than anything, I WANTED to thoroughly examine and understand The Sphere.

* * *

I arrived five minutes early. Nick was already there, and I allowed myself a few moments to peruse him in from a distance. His body language was relaxed and self-assured, but not in a cocky way, and I liked how he studied The Sphere. There was an air of intensity about him which worked like a magnet on me. Add his hot looks into the mix, and... boom! Enough! I needed to take a few calming breaths.

I trusted Barnes when he assured me, that if anyone could come up with the concept for a warp engine, it would be Nick. I had no reason to doubt Barnes's recommendation. I could only hope Nick was as genius as Barnes promised, and I could make a convincing case for building a warp driven spaceship to take us back to Earth.

At this point in time, I'd given little consideration to how Dylan could be part of the crew and travel to Earth with me. I knew I had to find a way. And Nick, I sensed, was the key to this endeavor.

* * *

I stood marveling at The Sphere when I felt Bella's gaze heating my back. I was in no rush to interrupt her checking me out. One-hundred-and-one, one-hundred-and-two... I counted to 30 before I turned around to face her. I lifted my hand in greeting and watched her walk over. The way she worried her lower lip and wiped her palms on her trousers told me how nervous she was and how much depended on our meeting that evening. We shook hands.

"Shall we sit down and you tell me, what you have in mind?" I pointed toward a bench, and she nodded gratefully. We sat down a few meters away from The Sphere, facing the endless universe in the direction where millennia ago spaceships could be seen entering and leaving wormhole Δ9.

She gave me the low-down of her plan, which wasn't so much a plan as more of a pitch, highlighting the importance of leaving the space station and finding our way back to Earth to develop and survive as a people. She was on fire! And I was easy game. That night, she preached to the converted.

I explained to her my sketchy outlines of a conceivable warp engine. I talked about the energetic field surrounding The Sphere, which I thought must be a warp field since it allowed a time-loss-free transfer into and out of The Sphere. This energy field held the key. I was certain!

"I have no idea if I'm right or how it works. If I could take a few measurements and do a few little experiments, I could learn so much about it..."

Bella tensed up, and got defensive about the 'security of The Sphere' and started accusing me of compromising its integrity and potentially damaging it. Her rebuke hurt. I didn't expect her backpedaling at the mention of taking some basic non-intrusive measurements. The cagey attitude didn't fit with the passionate, daring woman who was planning an impossible journey of five billion light-years.

She inquired about the measurements taken in the distant past, around the time when Dr. Clarissa Walker entered the artifact for the first time. I know non-scientists have a somewhat hazy understanding of the subject, but I found it unusual, that somebody, who would inquire about faster-than-light travel, should be reluctant to seek answers beyond the existing.

"Because," I explained patiently, "modern instruments are more sensitive. We didn't have a lot to show concerning innovation and invention, but existing technologies improved over the millennia. So re-assessing the parameters, measured and charted 4,000 years ago, might give us an abundance of new insights! I think it's safe to do so. We wouldn't do anything to The Sphere that hasn't been done before."

My explanation seemed to take the edge off her worries. Why was The Sphere of such massive importance to her? Don't get me wrong! The Sphere was a vital part of our society and losing it would inevitably cause upheaval. Still – a huge percentage of our people don't rely on The Sphere at all and therefore wouldn't miss it. Losing it – if disastrous for some – would not cause unmanageable turbulence. I decided not to dig any deeper into Bella's personal reasons. For now, I would assume, she was concerned about her animals, who indeed relied a lot on the freedom The Sphere's environment provided. I wish I'd known the true reason!

* * *

"How didit go?" Barnes cornered me on the way to the library and startled me out of some very pleasant thoughts about Dylan, Nick, and the journey to Earth.

"Huh...?"

"How did it go last night?" He fidgeted eager for answers.

"It was okay." I was unwilling to elaborate further. I had an irrational urge to keep what was discussed between Nick and myself private. Bollocks! Why should I hide from Barnes, what Barnes has set in motion in the first place? It wasn't like we dissected our private lives or bared our souls to each other. I got annoyed with myself for reacting so immaturely to Barnes's question. "I'm not quite awake enough to discuss it right now," I tried to fob him off and buy myself more time.

He hung his shoulders in dejection.

"I'm sorry." I reached out and squeezed his arm, making amends for my brusque reproach. "I need to get some work done this morning, which I'm not looking forward to. It's a bit tricky, and the thought of it kept me awake half of the night." I tried to look apologetic. "It's not your fault..." I added in a lame attempt.

"Fair enough..." Barnes grumbled. "Come and see me when ye are less tired, lass. Ye know where to find me." And with those words, he turned away and left me standing alone in one of the many gloomy, gray corridors of the space station.

'We could at least make an effort to brighten this place up a bit!' A thought so irrational and out of place, it aggravated my annoyance.

The guilt of alienating one of my best friends gnawed at my insides, but I needed to come to terms with a whole lot of things first, before I could commit to planning a journey to Earth. 'If I sound too enthusiastic to start with, I'll set forces in motion which are beyond my control!' What an idiotic surge of superstition! Moronic! Because the avalanche that would sweep us all away was already building up!

I felt positively geared up, sifting through endless scientific publications concerning faster-than-light travel. Most of them dealt with traveling through wormholes because we knew how that worked. There was also a host of papers which discussed traveling at 'hyper-light-speed' without the restriction of wormholes. Some articles even toyed with various concepts of the ad hoc creation of wormholes. Most of them didn't make much sense to me, but Nick would competently separate the wheat from the chaff. I decided to invite him to the library to help me assess the material and to discuss, which direction we should focus our efforts on. We needed to prepare a solid and compelling case for this undertaking. And although we were a million light-years away from having a warp engine at our disposal, I knew we needed to be confident it could be done in principle. Because otherwise, we would never get permission to even re-assess The Sphere's parameters.

By the end of the working day when I stretched my weary body - shoulders and back complaining from sitting down for far too long - I felt dog-tired and mentally overloaded. I needed to discuss the months ahead with Nick and Barnes as soon as possible. At some point in the not too distant future, we would have to introduce our project to the Council committee. I have to admit: the thought alone scared me!

Everything depended on their decision.

I knew we needed to make a compelling case for further exploration. I read a few studies published by our doctors and the MHA over the centuries and it looked as if one of the recurring issues was the disconnectedness the space-stationers experienced. 'Trapped in a tin-can.' 'Floating in eternity.' 'Like the Flying Dutchman never to reach port.' There was a well-reported abundance of longing to overcome the disjuncture, a yearning to reconnect with our home planet. It was the wish to touch base we needed to tap into. It would play into our hands, allowing us to sell the idea of a journey to Earth. We could easily involve the community to help with the endeavor. It could be an undertaking of epic proportions, and I felt excited about its prospect. Nick and I started working in earnest the next day.

Meanwhile, I'd been with Dylan twice and filled him in. His reluctance to show much excitement couldn't dampen my spirit! Giddy - like a child - I continued painting our future on Earth in the brightest colors.

"You don't know what Earth is like these days," Dylan cautioned me.

"Then go and find out!" I countered.

"Unfortunately that would likely create too much attention. Me hovering around Δ9 constantly AND visiting Earth. I might just start advertising that I'm in love with a human." He wrapped me into his arms. Tight. Safe. "Earth was a right mess when I last visited her. I told you all about it, didn't I?"

"Yes – but that was a long time ago, and ecosystems do recover and..."

Dylan stroked my cheeks, planting butterfly kisses following the path of his fingers. "I love your passion, Bella. I wish I could share it, and I wish I could literally take you to Earth and live in the paradise of yours. I wish we were all free to go and live wherever we want to..." His voice trailed off, and his eyes searched my face tenderly, anxiously groping for his next words. "I'm afraid, paradise might be irrevocably lost," he said in his low, soothing voice that brushes so leisurely along my spine, evoking pleasant tingles. And despite the pessimistic message he delivered, I relaxed into his arms. He has this effect on me. Every time our eyes meet, my knees go weak. He talks to me, and the dark timbre of his voice turns me on. When he touches me, the lights go out. And when we kiss, the universe is all mine.

"Now – tell me about this Nick..." he said, his voice same-sexy as before. But it carried an undercurrent, which wasn't there seconds ago.

"Well, he is... Nick..." I tried hard to sound casual. "According to Barnes, he's the only one who could conceive and build a warp engine... and he seems keen to do it." I took a deep breath. "There isn't a lot I can tell you. We have only been working on the preliminaries for a few days as you know and..."

Dylan's smile hovered halfway between cheeky and pained. "Bella – it is obvious the guy fascinates you. You don't have to tone it down for me... you know?"

Ah, Dylan! He knows me too well for his own good. How he can read me like an open book, I have no idea! I swallowed hard, embarrassed he caught me.

"Uhm... yes, he does fascinate me," I admitted. "You don't often find people passionate and willing to invent and explore on this godforsaken space station. Most of the space-stationers have left this part of their lives behind generations ago. Nick is like a breath of fresh air." And I don't know what possessed me when I said what I said next. I think I was cross with Dylan for having to justify myself. "And he is hot."

Dark clouds of jealousy cast looming shadows over Dylan's face. I never saw him angry or hurt before. He quickly averted his gaze and rubbed his fist in circles across his chest above his solar plexus, trying to massage away the emotional pain.

Damn! My remark cut him. Deep! "It was a mean thing to throw into your face..." I brushed against Dylan's arm. "I just wanted to get one back on you for catching me out. I'm sorry." I felt filthy. I didn't know what to say.

"It's okay, Bella. You are entitled to speak your mind. I saw him. He is hot. I wish it had occurred to me to take on the appearance of a First Nationer. Then I might appeal more to you, and we wouldn't need to have this conversation."

I combusted in blazing shame! My hands flew up to cover my burning cheeks, and I wanted the ground to swallow me. I hurt my kind and gorgeous boyfriend because he pointed out the Nick-elephant in the room.

"But Nick looks more dark-Irish than First Nations anyway," I tried to defuse the situation, "and I couldn't possibly love you more if you were a First Nationer. And I wouldn't love you any less if you were to grow a hunchback!" I said hotly.

"Ahhh, Bella..." he sighed before he grabbed my hair at the nape of my neck, lifted my face, and forced me to look him in the eyes. "You would love me like you would a friend or a sibling, but..." his lips were so close to mine, they almost touched, "...you would never fancy me."

'What is he saying?' White, hot rage set me alight! 'He thinks I'm a shallow bitch! I couldn't love him if he were disfigured?' But I knew: what was really driving me mad, was the fact that Dylan pointed out the treacherous rocks beneath the thin surface which covers up the shallows of life.

Sometimes attack is the best defense. I lashed out! "The same goes for you I would say!" I knew I was wrong - even before he shook his head. The realization hit me: This handsome alien couldn't care less about how I looked or who I was, even before he explained it to me.

"I fell in love with your essence, Bella. I didn't know who you were or what you looked like when I first sensed your glow. Your appearance doesn't matter to me. At all! If you were a man, I would have taken a woman's form. If you were gay, I would be too. If you were an animal, I would have taken the form of your mate. I will always love you, and I don't care if you get old and wrinkly like your species tends to do." He failed miserably at producing a cheeky smile. "Although – your beauty appeals very much to my male human persona... Still, it is insignificant to the singular entity I am." He kept rubbing his chest in slow circles. "I... am not telling you to stop talking about Nick... it would be wrong... but it would be nice if you could be more considerate..." He squeezed his eyes shut, his mouth a thin, horizontal line. "I might be an alien, but I have human feelings."

Hot tears trickled down my face. 'My beautiful, sexy, lovely boyfriend!' was all I could think. "And I love you too. I love you for who you are and for what you are. Although I don't fully understand what you are. I do love this part of you! Because you are the one, who I want to spend my life with. There is nobody else, and there will never be. I promise you, Dylan." I was sobbing. Wrecking, heaving spasms constricted my chest. I couldn't believe this man was afraid of losing me. "I wish you could meet Nick," I said. "He's a nice guy."

"And he fancies you," Dylan growled menacingly.

"Well – that's nothing to do with me then," I replied. "I have to admit, he looks good but I don't fancy him. Yes, I want him to be my friend. But nothing more. You cover all my needs in the love-of-my-life-department."

Dylan pulled me hard against his body. "Just wait until I'm allowed to cover ALL of your needs!" he promised with this special naughty glint in his eyes which never fails to melt my insides. "Come on, beautiful, let's go for a swim. I need to cool down before I might be tempted to do something illegal!" He let out a long deep breath, and I happily decided to postpone the technical discussions about faster-than-light-travel.

* * *

Back at the station, I immersed himself into the materials concerning warp engines and wormhole creations and a lot of stuff, which was related to it in one way or another.

Bella allowed me to use her office in the library because it was quiet and made it easy to access information. I marveled at the thoroughness and technical understanding with which Bella had collated and sorted the materials.

"She is quite an asset to the space station," I muttered to myself as I scrolled down the endless list of files and read the excerpts Bella had provided for each subsection and folder. 'You would make a great engineer, Bella ΞΙ!' I felt proud she asked me to help her with her quest. Which was now OUR quest.

I was falling for Bella – line, hook, and sinker! I could sense there was a mutual attraction, but I also had a hunch, something massive and insurmountable towered between us. She isn't even 18 yet. So damned young! Perhaps that's what's holding her back. But I knew, it was something more profound than just her age.

That was three months before her 18th birthday.

# 16 - The Long Wait

This is... The. Most. Tedious. Countdown. EVER! Frustration and impatience whittled me down. But we are getting there...

I was in a celebratory mood. Three months. A lot can happen in three months. 'We might have the go-ahead to build our spaceship by that time. We might even have the updated measurements from The Sphere. We might have a conceptual approach on how to build this warp drive. We...'

"Howdy!" Barnes's cheery greeting rudely catapulted me out of my fluff-laden dreams and back into reality.

"You startled me!"

"Sorry, lass!" Barnes grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Did ye speak to Nick recently?"

"We speak nearly every day." And that was true. Not a day had gone by since Barnes first introduced us that we didn't meet up for at least an hour after work. Nick spent a lot of time in my office at the library and made good progress sifting through the theory of warp engines. He was a fast and meticulous researcher, and I enjoyed working with him.

When I didn't have clients, I immersed myself in the psycho-social issues of life on the space station and how living in a remote and self-contained environment changes the fabric of society. I focused on the effects this secluded lifestyle has on mental health and how living in a confined space without any prospect of development could lead to outbreaks of civil unrest. 'Stagnant' was the word cropping up more than once. A stagnant environment with no outlook of change can seriously lower the morale of any society. Humans need inspiration, motivation, and a common goal.

Our initial goals lost their validity a long time ago: Δ9 started its life as a base for deep-space-exploration, adventure, and pushing boundaries, but had long since been relegated to being nothing but a tin can. Its only task now was to preserve the lives of a handful of humankind. There was no denying it: Moral on Δ9 had been flat for generations, and this sentiment was not going to go away without a serious project to capture the imagination of the population. A project allowing everybody to get involved and contribute in one way or another.

Building a spaceship – however small – and a warp engine would demand a sacrifice of materials and energy; resources that could otherwise sustain Δ9. I had no idea yet, how big the sacrifice would have to be. It was clear, however, this project would impact the life of every single space-stationer. But despite the anticipated temporary austerity, I felt confident, the space-stationers would vote in favor of the project. Too many of the people I spoke with weren't happy and would welcome a change - 'Something a bit more exciting.'

Digger bounced along at my heel, his tongue lolling, eyes big with excitement. 'This is precisely what I want to see on every space-stationer's face.' It suddenly hit me! 'The excitement of my dog getting ready for The Sphere!' I patted Digger's head, and he rewarded me by licking my hand. Slobber all over! Never mind.

Dylan greeted me as soon as I stepped into my virtual reality. Digger jumped up and down enthusiastically, and the horses whinnied their hellos.

My lover looked better than ever. A broad smile on his face, his long hair in disarray, his skin a healthy olive tan, and he sported a three-day stubble. Hmm... sexy! And that was all I could think of when he embraced and kissed me.

"You taste so good," he moaned, "I could kiss you all day long."

"Be my guest!" I was one shallow breath away from asphyxiation! "In fact – you have to promise me to never stop."

"I promise, and I won't forget," he replied, rubbing his stubbly jaw against my cheek.

"You know what day it is today?" I mumbled against his mouth.

"Three months to go... how could I forget?" He came up for breath before we continued snogging.

'...almost four years in Sphere-time.' I felt more than a hint of frustration. 'How could I possibly wait another four years before I could make love to him?'

"Any progress with this spaceship of yours?" he asked me once we settled down on the shaggy woolen rug inside our cabin. He traced his fingers along my collarbone, giving me goosebumps. I moaned. I crave his touch.

"I can't concentrate when you do this..." I pushed his hand away and sat upright. "But yes – there has been progress. Nick thinks he can use some existing theories of how to form in situ wormholes in which path the spaceship can travel." I took a deep breath. "There is one problem, though..." I had to tread with care. "He tells me, forming the wormhole could be easy enough. What it requires though is an accurate gravitational map of the universe. Otherwise, a pilot cannot navigate to where he or she wants to go..."

"And you think I could provide such a map?" It was a statement rather than a question. His intelligent eyes scrutinized me.

"I was kind of hoping, yes."

He tapped his lower lip, thinking it through. "I suppose, I could...," he eventually said. "I will have to come up with a method of physically mapping the gravitational territory. As far as I know, such maps only exist within the knowledge of individual singular entities..." He worried his lower lip, deep in thought.

"I'll have a think about it," he promised.

"Thank you!" I quickly kissed him, before he could bite his lips raw.

Our days in The Sphere flew by, and far too soon, it was time to leave Dylan and British Columbia behind to spend another 24 hours in the space station.

This time, I was on a mission!

I felt oddly energized when The Sphere spat me out, and I went straight to the engineering deck to find Nick. He was working on one of the nano-materials panels covering the inside of the space station's skeleton-frame. The panel was so thin it was more like a skin than an actual panel. However insubstantial it was, though, it was vital for our survival.

The material allows for energy transfer between the outer hull structure which absorbs the ion radiation from space and the storage blocks. Each deck has four energy storage blocks – two of which are in use – the remaining two are redundant units. Each block can be tapped from anywhere inside the station. Even if all four units on a deck should fail – which has never happened in the history of the space station – redundant units on other decks could instantly substitute for the failed blocks. Redundancy is king in an environment as hostile and challenging as space.

Nick stopped working and removed the bulky helmet he wore to protect him from absorbing nano-particles, which might rub off the panel. It was a dated precaution. Nano-materials have developed considerably over the millennia, and the rub-off was negligible. Still – our Health and Safety Advisory Committee insisted on protective gear for this type of work. They will put up some resistance to building a spaceship! My eager heart plummeted at the thought.

"Sorry for interrupting your work," I apologized.

"You don't. I'm done anyway," he said, giving me this beaming Nick-smile, which careened straight through all of my painstakingly erected defenses.

"You got time later?" I asked.

"Sure – in two hours? I need to go home. Eat. Shower." His lazy smile sent a flock of starlings into a murmuration inside my belly. The thought of Nick under the shower evoked a slide show of confusingly pleasant images. I must stop this! But I knew it wouldn't be easy. My thoughts have a devious habit of popping up uninvited, especially when fueled by raging hormones! Besides that – I was in love with Dylan, and any stray thoughts about Nick wouldn't change this one bit. Blame those inappropriate thoughts on sexual frustration!

"Okay – meet me in the library when you are done. I might be a bit late, though," I warned him. "I need to feed the horses and walk Digger."

"Why don't you bring Digger?" he asked. "I like seeing him, and he's no bother."

Actually... why not? There was no rule banning animals from the library or any other place on the space station.

"Might do," I said, "if he doesn't just want to curl up with my mum that is."

Two and a half hours later, I entered the library, a happy Digger in tow, bouncing around my feet, barking happily when he spotted Nick.

Nick turned in his seat as soon as we entered, his body all excited tension.

He'd been studying the files about traveling through black holes.

There is a theory, which tells us it is possible to travel through a black hole unharmed. The massive gravitational forces black holes exert on their environment cause space-time to warp and twist. The deeper we go into a black hole (purely theoretical of course!), the more curved space-time becomes. Until it is infinitely curved in the center of the black hole. The laws of physics as we know them don't apply within the confines of a black hole. Space and time become meaningless... or such is the theory.

"But," Nick tried to tell me, if we could shield the spaceship with a wormhole-like warp field for the duration of traveling inside the black hole, we could navigate the space-time conundrum by de-tangling space and time within the wormhole shield." He beamed.

I threw my arms up in mock despair. "You have lost me, Cole!"

"It's not that complicated," Nick assured me. "You'll get your head around it in due time," he added. "And if you can get it, then the committee should get it as well." He grinned cheekily, his lower lip trapped between his front teeth, crinkles fanning out around the corner of his eyes.

"Are you saying I'm thick?"

"Not more than your usual space-stationer," he teased. The crinkles around his eyes intensified.

"I'm delighted you are giving me some credit here!" I snorted in mock exasperation.

"The thing," he said somberly. "The thing is we will require detailed gravitational maps of the universe. Preferably we would need gravitational maps of each and every black hole out there..."

'Dylan – I hope you are used to traveling through black holes...' I sent a quiet plea to my alien lover. "Let's get this brilliant idea of yours drafted as quickly as possible!" A sudden rush of enthusiasm threatened to sweep me away. I was starting to look forward to presenting the case for building a spaceship to the committee.

The following time I met Dylan, I laid out Nick's plan in as much detail as I could.

Dylan was impressed. "He's good your friend!" he said, unable to conceal the respect in his voice. "I didn't think he would pick up on the combination of black hole and wormhole travel."

"You knew about this all along?" I was taken aback when he said it. "You could have pointed us in the right direction weeks ago... I thought you want this as much as I do..." Disappointment slammed into me, ripping a burning hole into my gut.

Was Dylan playing an ugly game? I didn't want to believe this!

"Bella..." he tried to appease me. "It would be weird if you came out of The Sphere with the idea of combining wormhole and black hole travel. Only the best and most imaginative of engineers could come up with this concept and..."

"You think I'm too thick to come up with it?" I felt mightily peeved. It was the second time that day my friends had challenged my intelligence.

"Of course not! But you aren't an engineer." He swept me into his arms and lifted me off the ground. "Please...? Don't be angry with me. I'll make it up to you!" He merry-go-rounded me while I was hanging in his arms.

"You have a lot of 'making up' to do, lover..." I grumbled in mock vexation.

"I will not disappoint you!" His gorgeous stormy-ocean eyes found mine, and I believed him!

# 17 - Nick

Bella's enthusiasm was contagious. Her dazzling smile and soft, vibrant voice plucked my heartstrings every time she opened that luscious mouth of hers. My soul craved holding her in my arms and listening to her whispering words of love and passion. Words intended for my ears only. To my knowledge, she didn't have a boyfriend. So I decided to take my chances and woo her, taking any opportunity to probe her feelings without the need to freak her out. But I always backtracked; found an excuse not to broach the subject. I guess I was too much of a coward to even hint at my true feelings. Never mind admitting them! Too much depended on it. 'I wouldn't know how to live without her anymore.' This thought dominated my life. I couldn't face losing her to somebody else. The idea alone left me covered in a cold sweat. My whole future depended on her loving me as much as I loved her!

The prospect of going back to Earth and carve out a life on the planet our ancestors left more than four and a half thousand years ago thrilled me. My maternal ancestry is First Nations of Canada, and although I don't know my exact tribal roots, I found my spiritual home on the shores of Lake Huron in the province of Ontario. Surrounded by the most beautiful wilderness, Lake Huron is North America's second-largest lake. Like jewels, more than 30,000 islands dot the surface of its vast expanse. My heart lifts, my soul is free when I roam the land of my ancestors. Our tribal history fascinates me. My mother and father had always been supportive of my ever-growing interest and encouraged me to read, research, and learn as much as I possibly could. It was my father, who inspired me to recreate the area around Lake Huron in my sphere-world when it was time for my first visit at the age of six.

For the past 14 years, I traveled, explored, studied, and purely enjoyed it. I made friends with a wolf and a big golden eagle. They both travel with me, and the resident chipmunk communities eagerly scrutinize me wherever I go. I don't have a permanent home like Bella. I travel light - my backpack containing a blanket and some hides, which serve as covers or beds, some rations. Dried fruit, nuts, and smoked meats. I carry tools to cut twigs and branches and gut fish, as well as for making fire. The wilderness is a vicious lover. She nearly killed me more than once. I almost drowned in the ripping currents of a stream, swollen and raging with the melting waters of the nearby foothills. But of course, for all we know, one cannot die inside The Sphere.

There is water everywhere, rivers, lakes, inlets. Water and forests are the main features of this breathtaking land I call home. I love the natural world and its animal inhabitants. I communicate easier with animals than with most humans. My parents are aware of the adventurous life I lead inside The Sphere, and I know, they will support our endeavor to build a spaceship bound for destination Earth. I'm confident I'll be onboard the spaceship - The Odyssey...? - since I will be the one to design her warp engine.

I will miss my family - but I miss Earth more!

# 18 - The 18th Birthday

On the day of my 18th birthday, I woke early, my stomach churning with anticipation, heart thudding inside my too-small chest. It was dark and only the occasional rumble and grumble of the various bits of life support machinery, which keeps this place going, penetrated the quiet of my quarters.

'Don't malfunction before I get to see Dylan later!' I sent my silent plea to The Sphere. I squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them wide and pinched myself.

Ouch! I was indeed awake. And it was indeed my birthday! I jumped out of bed, giddy with excitement! I still had too many hours to kill and a tedious public birthday ceremony to endure before I would follow Dylan into The Sphere again - with the generous birthday gift of an additional 10 seconds. 25 days with Dylan... and I intended to spend every single one in bed with him!

"Happy Birthday!" and "Good luck!" and kisses and hugs, a massive cake on the table, a firework display on our screen wall. My parents made a big fuss of me.

"And all of this before my first cup of coffee..." I complained, deeply moved but trying to hide it behind a gruff façade.

My friends popped round on their way to work. Claudia visited first, then Eleanor. Barnes and Nick came together since they were both on the way to Engineering.

"I had no idea you were so popular!" my father teased.

"Get off Dad!" but I liked the attention bestowed on me. "These people are only being polite."

"We'll see you at the ceremony later!" Barnes waved a cheery goodbye, but not without giving me a massive bear hug and a kiss on each cheek before he left. I felt five years old and having to endure a visit from my auntie. I guess some things never change. At least all these visits made time run a bit faster. Still – I felt like I was swimming through treacle against a powerful current.

I suffered an acute fit of wardrobe-angst. Unsure of what to wear, I slipped in and out of outfits, insecurity getting the better of me. 'It has to be special! Something to get Dylan's blood boiling as soon as he sees me!' I didn't think he needed any additional incentives but wanted to look my best nevertheless. Stupid nerves! I fought a hopeless battle, trying to calm myself down by slowly inhaling and exhaling.

'Dylan is as excited as I am.' The thought was like a cooling balm on my frazzled nerves. I imagined a cute summery dress – not too flimsy, not too prim, something to show off my assets but with enough space left to the imagination. 'Something easy to take off.' Mischief! An image of Dylan and I - entwined, entangled, and all over each other - slammed into my mind. 'Something cool and not too clingy...' I fanned my burning face with both hands. Sweat trickled down my chest and formed a rivulet between my breasts. My heart was hammering away! I caught my flushed complexion in the mirror. 'We'll have to do it in the lake just to keep me from burning up!' The thought appealed very much. 'Where will we end up doing it? In our bed? Is it not too prim and proper after such a long wait? On a soft patch of moss in the forest? The beach?' I felt my nervous system revving again, getting me all worked up. 'It's insignificant! Wherever we'll end up making love, it'll be perfect.' But there was little doubtful Bella in my head, and she tried to shout over confident Bella. I felt panic rising, and for a split-second, I was seriously tempted to grab Nick and do it with him - just to get over the curse of the first time.

'Could I do anything crueler to either Nick or Dylan...?' Instantly regretted and blazing shame for not trusting Dylan and myself to make it a perfect first slammed into my gut like a rogue comet. After more than two decades of sphere-time with him, I should feel more 'old couple' than 'first night.' Stupid time conundrum! I sent a silent apology to Nick for even considering using him in this way.

After multiple rounds of changing outfits and scrutinizing myself in the full-length mirror, I decided on a sultry, summery dress made of a light silken fabric, which showed my body off. Daringly short, the shifting material stopped an inch above my knees. It was the vibrant, clean color of the sun-drenched forest after heavy rainfall. Blue swirly patterns gave the impression of a river running through the forest, and the way the fabric moved injected life and vivacity. Perfect!

The public ceremony drew closer, and I felt more and more exposed. All those people coming to wish me luck and long life would see me going into The Sphere. The thought made me blush. I had to reassure myself: none of them would have the slightest idea of what was going to happen. I picked up the horses and Digger, ready to face the music when Nick turned up unexpectedly.

"I wanted a few minutes with you alone, you know, to wish you good luck and long life." He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me to his broad chest. I couldn't help but inhale him deeply, his clean, male scent caressing all my senses. He smelled so different from Dylan – yet both men had an alluring scent.

'I'll be with Dylan in less than an hour!' The thought kicked me back into reality. How could I get carried away by anybody but Dylan? Deep inside, I knew why. If it weren't for Dylan, I would be sleeping with Nick tonight.

"I'm staying to wave you goodbye," he said. "And I also wanted to know," he moistened his lips, "Do you fancy meeting up after my shift today? There is a fantastic Aurora Borealis display around Lake Huron tonight," he grinned at me. "4D super-holo. Looks like the real thing. I arranged it especially for your birthday."

"That's so thoughtful of you, Nick," I swallow hard, "but my parents..." It sounded lame – even to my own ears.

Nick let go of me and stepped back.

A sensation of loss hit me. I was uncertain of what to do next.

"Your family obviously wants to celebrate with you. Sorry, Bella, I wasn't thinking... I..."

"No... I'm sorry. I'm sure I could squeeze in an Aurora..." 'Damned! Why did things with Nick have to be so complicated?'

"Only if you want to." Nick sounded deflated; his eyes were dull, lacking their usual fire.

"I want to!" I heard myself say. And it was true. I did want to watch the Aurora Borealis with Nick. And no – I wouldn't betray Dylan. I knew that much. As long as Dylan was around, there could be no other man. At some point, I would have to let Nick down. I dreaded that day! I could pretend to be a lesbian... at least while on the space station!

The public ceremony was awkward – precisely what I expected. Our pompous Commander in Chief gave a generic speech, spiced up with personal details about the 'victim of the day' as I like to call the unlucky birthday person. It didn't take long, but long enough to make me feel thoroughly uncomfortable. The Commander in Chief ended his speech with a 'hint' that I was fair game for any randy male space-stationer. Enthusiastic whistles and cheers followed his announcement. He has a reputation for being a bit of an old lecher. And by the looks of it, there are a few more in his camp. Not that I cared much. I survived the public embarrassment, and all I wantedneededcraved was waiting for me inside The Sphere! I closed my eyes and stepped into my future.

When I opened them again, I couldn't spot Dylan immediately, and my heart nosedived into freefall.

"Right behind you, beautiful," he whispered into my ear, his hands resting on my shoulders searing exposed skin, his breath caressing my neck. I turned on shaky legs and my eyes found his. "I'm so glad you are here," was all I could say.

"I wouldn't miss this for the Universe," he replied. "You look ravishing..." He swallowed hard, took a step back, his hands still on my shoulders, and looked me up and down approvingly. "What a shame, but this lovely dress will have to go," he growled in his low sexy purr, turning me on as if he'd flipped a switch. I started trembling uncontrollably.

He let his hands glide down my arms, took my cold, shaking hands into his warm, steady ones, and said, "We don't have to do this, Bella. I can wait – you know."

And just like that, the ice broke. Dylan has this ability to make me laugh, and my anxiety evaporated. "I know you can wait! Hell - we've been doing nothing but wait for... like forever..."

He swept me into his arms and kissed me hungrily. His lips pressed onto mine, his tongue spearing them apart, invading my mouth. Not that I put up any resistance! I pushed my body hard against him. I wanted to absorb him! He ran his hands down my back, slow and firm, laying claim to every inch of my skin, every curve, every hollow. Our breaths mingled, ragged and hard. When he reached the small of my back, he paused briefly before he released my mouth. "What the heck!" he cursed and ran his fingers further down, cupping my buttocks, squeezing them, then running his hands all the way down the back of my thighs, just to reverse their direction and let them glide higher under my skirt.

By the time his hands came to rest on my naked backside, I was panting – in-out-in-out-in-out! I savored the sensation of his hands on my bare skin, imagining where he might want to go next. I wiggled my hips - encouraging him to go further. His cock pressed hot and hard against my stomach. He moaned with delight as I kept wiggling and rubbing. My knees went mushier with each sexy groan he produced. I wanted him so much!

"Time to undress." His husky whisper against my neck sent jolts of sizzling electricity across my sensitized skin. Exposed nerve endings screamed in exquisite agony. I inhaled on a gasp, and the scent of warm maleness and pheromones in overdrive hit me like a meteor. He took my mouth, hooked his thumbs over the elastic of my panties, and started to slide them down over my hips, his fingers leaving a trail of sizzling currents. He never broke our kiss until he dropped to his knees in front of me and - without haste - pulled the lacy fabric all the way down to my ankles. He buried his head in my midriff, and through the delicate fabric of the dress, his rapid breath felt hot against the sensitive skin of my belly.

"So damn beautiful..." he moaned.

I didn't dare move. I might topple and fall over! Steadying myself by holding onto his broad shoulders, I stepped out of my panties.

Dylan lifted his head and looked at me reverently from hooded dark eyes. His hands moved up the outside of my legs – tantalizingly slow – as if he had all the time in the world before they came to rest on my buttocks again. He squeezed, and when I responded with a soft moan, he chuckled. "Your excitement is exquisite, baby." He spread his fingers further and started to caress my inner thighs. I felt distinctively hot and increasingly weak. He kissed and licked my legs just below the hem of my dress, and his soft lips left blazing trails of high-voltage currents as he worked his way upwards. Slow! So excruciatingly slow! Holy Universe! I missed a heartbeat or two. 'How will I survive being with him if I'm like this before we even undress?'

When his sizzling lips reached my sweetest spot, they doused any half-coherent thought I might still have left. My body took over, shuddering violently, and I let out a low yelp.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" he asked mischievously before he flicked his tongue over my clitoris.

My fingernails drew blood when I dug them into his shoulders.

He stopped doing what he was doing and said, "We best get you to bed then."

"Bed... right..." was all I could muster in response.

"I know it doesn't sound too adventurous," he growled, "but I want this to be special." He got up, facing me. "And the most special thing I can think of is to christen the bloody bed, which we shared for far too long without actually sharing it... all the fancy places can wait until later!"

"...not sure I can walk..." I whispered.

He chuckled and swept me up into his arms. "I'm glad to be of service," he said and carried me toward our house.

I slung my arms around his neck, my head cradled against his shoulder. Every fiber of my body was hyper-aware of his presence. I inhaled his sweet, earthy scent, and it sent my head spinning. Our bed! What a brilliant idea – a stroke of genius! I longed to lie down because I couldn't trust my legs to carry me. I rested comfortably in his arms, and I could hear his breathing - ragged and heavy with pent-up excitement. He carried me over the threshold, kissed me tenderly, and wished me 'Happy Birthday.' Then he took me upstairs where he sat me down on our bed like I was the most precious cargo he would ever handle. He drank me in with hungry eyes and continued kissing me. "Here we are, my sweet Bella." He joined me on our bed, caressing my bare legs, his hands traveling all the way up between my legs at a deliciously slow pace. Torture and heaven alike! I moaned and couldn't help but wriggle myself into a better position to maximize the contact between my bare skin and his hands.

"Let's get rid of this lovely dress," he groaned, and with one swift motion, he slipped it over my head and dropped it. "So. Much. Better!" He trailed his hands along my shoulders, his touch sending shivers over my entire body, penetrating every fiber of my being. My heart lurched, and a million butterflies took flight inside my belly. He slid the shoulder straps of my bra down my arms. Then he reverently cupped my breasts, his thumbs stroking my excruciatingly taut nipples, before he languidly traced his fingers over the soft flesh just above the rim of the lace, paying reverence to every inch of my skin. He touched me as if we had all the time in the universe. And I guess that was true for him. Then he unclasped my stormy-sea-colored lacy bra. 'Has he got any idea, what he's doing to my insides?' My inner organs including skeleton dissolved into a pile of mush.

"Much better," he said softly, marveling at my naked body. "Don't go melting away on me."

"This is not fair." I got myself into a kneeling position. "You're all dressed up still."

He chuckled and took his t-shirt off. I must have seen him do this a thousand times before, but today it was different: My whole world condensed down to Dylan. It was like looking down a microscope, seeing a small detail in high resolution. And what a detail he was! I could see his muscles flexing, and my eyes followed the trail of hair from his chest all the way down over his perfect abs to where it dips below the waistline of his jeans. I reached out and traced my fingers all the way down from his jawline to the buttons of his jeans, eliciting cascades of whole-body shivers. I let my hands rest there for a good few seconds that seemed to last an eternity. I wasn't teasing. I needed that time to work up the courage to touch him. I'd seen Dylan aroused many times before and occasionally I felt him pressed up against me, but he would never allow me to touch him, explore him deliberately...

And then - for the first time - I touched his erection. The muscles in his abdomen tightened, and he made a low, choked sound in the back of his throat. Before my hands could start trembling again, I undid his buttons. He was going commando! I slipped the trousers down over his perfect ass. He kicked them off. There were no barriers left between us!

"Wow!" I said, checking him out. I didn't know whether to look him in the eyes or keep watching his naked body. Eyes wide open, my gaze oscillated up and down. I couldn't get enough of the sight of him. Eventually, we locked eyes.

I reached out and took his cock into my hands, savoring the stark contrast between velvet-soft skin and steely hardness. I fingered him, playing, holding his gaze all the way. His breath came labored. He groaned and claimed my mouth. Hot and deep. I ran my fingers through his silken mane. He fisted his hands through my hair pulling my head back, licking my exposed throat, nibbling, biting down on the sensitive tendon. We caressed and explored each other for an eternity and a half. His head kicked back as my fingers grew bolder, wiping away a pearl of liquid on his tip. I didn't think about it when I licked my digit.

His pupils dilated, carnal need burning in his dark gaze. "You drive me crazy, you do..." he hissed.

"I hope so..." I bent down to take his tip between my lips.

He exhaled sharply, tensing up.

I worked my hands leisurely over his chest and abdomen.

"You carry on like this, and I'm going to come... here and now!" He moaned.

"Be my guest," I invited him, only releasing his cock for the time it took me to speak.

"No!" he said firmly. "Ladies first." He pushed me back onto the bed, gripping me behind my knees, extending my legs. Dylan was kneeling between my thighs, hands on my hips, and he inched his mouth toward my breasts, lazily circling my nipples with his tongue. My response was immediate and irrevocable. I let myself fall back. I tried to pull him on top of me, but he lifted his head and looked me in the eyes. "Not yet, Bella." He carried on caressing my breasts with his hands and mouth before his lips wandered down my body, nibbling, teasing, and sucking all the way down to my vagina. Then, for the second time this day, Dylan went down on me. Determined this time. Gone was the playful flick of his tongue I felt before. He homed right in, his tongue firm, his lips soft, and his shadow beard raspy and... Oh. So. Good! I might have gasped his name. The sensation of him, working my sweetest spots all at once almost sent me over the edge. I moaned, I gripped the sheets, and I might as well have ripped them. I didn't care! I wanted Dylan to carry on forever; I wanted him to make me come. But more than anything else, I needed him inside me... 'Ah, the thought of him inside me!'...I wanted him... so much... His tongue and lips kept pushing me closer and closer to orgasm. His stubble was adding yet another dimension to the delicious sensations which filled me up and up and up. Before long, I would be full of emotions, forced to spill over. When I came, I cried out his name. I was falling off the edge of a cliff – bottomless, but exquisite - because I knew I could fly. Dylan gave me the wings to soar. Over and over again.

"I can tell you liked it," his voice-like-dark-velvet coaxed me back to reality. He cupped my chin, placing a soft kiss on my panting mouth.

I tasted myself on his slightly parted lips. Honey, caramel, and salt. I moaned with pleasure. "Was that it...?" I teased him.

"I didn't think you could take any more." This mischievous grin again! "That's why I stopped."

"Carry on... please...?" I whispered. "We need to go all the way – you and me..."

He closed his eyes, and I could feel him trembling with anticipation. He tilted his head forward, allowing our foreheads to touch before he lowered himself onto me, spreading my legs with his thighs. I circled my legs around his waist, trying to pull him inside me.

"Easy, Bella..." he growled lowering himself further. I was still wet and ready from before, and he eased himself inside me, inch by delicious inch. "Don't move!" he commanded when I started to push upwards to take all of him. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You don't hurt me," I gasped, "...on the contrary..."

He took a luscious lifetime to slide all the way inside me, stretching me, filling me, fulfilling me. He allowed me plenty of time to adjust to his size, and the moment he breached my barrier, he stopped. We waited for the piercing burn to subside before he slowly continued to take possession of my body. Sweat trickled down my breasts, and his back was all slick, heated muscles tight with barely controlled restraint. The scent of our combined arousal dense and heady like the atmosphere in a greenhouse. I swear - the sexual tension between us materialized into an electric storm. It was almost too much to take!

Once he fully seated himself inside me, he kissed me and looked me in the eyes, as if asking my consent. I nodded, unable to speak. He started moving. Slow at first, grinding his hips in lazy circles, nearly sending me over the edge again. He picked up his pace once he was confident, he wouldn't hurt me. I loved him for his consideration. And finally... he allowed me to match his pace, to thrust my hips upward, and meet him. We found our rhythm together, and I knew, it wouldn't be long before I'd come apart again.

Suddenly he stopped dead.

It shook me to the core to see his tormented face. 'Was Dylan in pain?'

"Bella," he whispered his voice shaky. "I don't want this moment to end." His breath came ragged and heavy.

I took his face into my hands, caressing his stubbly jaw. His pupils dilated with lust. "This is not the end, Dylan. This is only the beginning."

He groaned, and we slammed into each other a few more times before he could hold back no more, coming inside me, shouting my name, his whole body trembling, then tensing, then...

When I felt Dylan's release, I let go as well, and our bodies complete what our souls started a long time ago: we became one.

We lay in silence for a long while, holding, caressing, and kissing each other. Utterly liberated, fulfilled, and satisfied. Dylan couldn't keep his hands off me, and it wasn't long before we were all over each other again. I was on top this time, and we rocked ourselves into oblivion.

"Being with you like this feels so much better than anything I have ever experienced!" Dylan was dead serious. "Even better than galaxies colliding!"

"I never thought anything could feel this good," I confessed. And it was true – the sum squared of all my dirty fantasies couldn't compare to the reality Dylan and I created.

"We are good together," Dylan confirmed with a wide grin. "And I'm looking forward to 25 days of making love and not much else."

I knew he wasn't joking, and I welcomed the delicious warmth unfurling inside me. "I need a swim," I said. "Care to join me?"

"Certainly do." He grabbed my hand and jumped off the bed, eagerly pulling me along with him.

I can't remember having much need for clothes or food over the next few weeks. But I remember a lot of exploring, playing, and trying out anything springing to our minds. We had a lot of fun experimenting! Sex took our relationship to a new level: We became even closer - almost painfully so - and the plans we made for our future became more tangible.

I didn't want to return to the space station. The first time I thought about it, I cried and lamented. Dylan took me into his arms and reassured me that we would always be together, and we would find a way to overcome the obstacles blocking our path. It didn't do much to ease my reluctance. Dylan eventually admitted we needed to get away from the confines of The Sphere and seek out a life elsewhere. And - given my physical limitations - Earth was the best destination for it. Dylan promised to come up with a method to map the gravitational universe in a way Nick could work with. I hadn't thought about Nick once in these past weeks.

"Care for more sex?"

Oh, his silky, seductive voice! How could I possibly resist... ever?

"Sure do... always will!" I answered before Dylan completely took my thoughts off Nick, spaceships, and Earth.

# 19 - Aftershocks

Bella stepped... No - stumbled... out of The Sphere, and I knew immediately: something changed! Her flushed face and body language spoke of newfound maturity. Confident. Grounded within herself. 'She touched her true spirit.' I remember thinking. It was only much later when I understood I'd picked up the subtle signs of her transition from girl to woman.

I stayed on after the official birthday celebration, spending the half minute it took her to emerge from The Sphere daydreaming about our future. I wanted to confirm the details of our Aurora Borealis date later and take the opportunity to walk the horses back to the stables with her. I liked the horses and would've given anything for her to teach me how to ride. But I didn't dare ask for that favor quite yet. At that point, I was still planning to make her my girlfriend, and I didn't want to pressure her. She's only turned 18 today!

My heart started leaping against my chest the moment she exited The Sphere. I marveled at the sexuality she oozed wearing her green dress which shifted like a wisp of wind. 'Why would she choose a dress that shows her beauty off so intensely when all she wants is to avoid the public fuss?' It didn't add up at first, but my mind worked on it, my brain started to make connections and sense of the information.

Comprehension slapped me across the face the moment everything clicked into place, ripping off the proverbial Band-Aid: Bella was seeing somebody inside The Sphere! I knew I was right. My heart told me so. There were enough rumors to assume there was more than a kernel of truth in them. Bella was with somebody else! My stomach twisted into a hot, knotted mess. I swallowed hard to keep the bile down.

It all made perfect sense – the dress, she was wearing on the day she was legally allowed to sleep with a man, her obvious transformation. The realization broke my heart on the spot. It shattered, the noise exploding within the massive void inside my soul. I didn't think anybody would be able to piece it together again! I was thunderstruck, unable to move.

Bella waved, and it took all my willpower to reciprocate her greeting. I even managed a smile, but inside I was crying.

She tilted her head, reading the scattered pages of my bared soul before she moved toward me.

"I'm so sorry, Nick," she apologized, her hands resting on my slumped shoulders.

She knew that I knew.

"It's okay," I replied deflated. "We aren't meant to be." All fight deserted me.

She touched my face and drew me into a tight embrace. "If it weren't for Dylan, it would be you." Her words kindled unimaginable pain and crushed my splintered soul.

I started to cry, and I doubt I stopped ever since.

We didn't meet that evening. Or the next. I needed time to come to terms with what she told me. 'Dylan – his name is Dylan' The information turned over in my tortured mind like a hamster in a wheel, going at full speed but getting nowhere. At first, I rejected his existence outright because my wounded mind told me, there might be no Dylan. 'Maybe she's making him up, so she won't have to deal with my love. She might be too shy, too frightened to be with a man. Perhaps... just perhaps...'

But deep inside I knew Dylan was real. I could see his essence plastered all over her. I was surprised nobody else noticed her transformation.

* * *

As soon as I spotted Nick, I knew he knew what had happened. There was only one solution: I had to grab the bull by the horns. Be upfront. Let him know, that I still wanted – no, needed \- him in my life as a friend and confidante. I never intended to tell him the whole truth about Dylan. I wanted Nick to believe Dylan was part of my fabricated world. Not an alien, who could leave The Sphere. Everybody on the space station knew the rumors about some people being able to invoke the presence of other human beings within. Not a single one of those stories had ever been confirmed. But the lore was persistent and therefore – however unusual – meeting somebody inside The Sphere was within the scope of the imaginable.

I had no choice, but to mislead Nick! I had to consider Dylan's safety. Letting Nick in on Dylan's true nature wasn't an option! It would cause a massive upset in the energy continuum, which could well lead to Dylan's demise. Chain of events... My heart was a heavy lump of charred meat inside my chest when I uttered Dylan's name and saw it lay Nick's world to waste. I broke his heart.

Nick didn't get in touch with me for days after my birthday. I knocked on his door once, but he ignored me. I restrained myself from going to see him. Forced myself to give him space to breathe, allow him to get to grips with my lover. I was deathly afraid he would pull out of the spaceship project altogether and end all our hopes of getting away. But my manipulative self also hoped Dylan's existence would spur Nick on to develop the warp drive faster. Because it was the only way to get me away from The Sphere and out of Dylan's reach.

I never knew I had a scheming side to me, and I felt deeply ashamed for telling lies to Nick. But Dylan's safety was paramount.

On the other side of the coin, time spent with Dylan was like a dream come true. We got to know each other on a whole new level; our bodies, our preferences in bed. We must've tried all the 245 positions The Kama Sutra has to offer, and we had sex in all our favorite places. It was exhausting, exhilarating, and... So. Much. Fun!

"I need to make up for all the time we had to wait and fill up for the billennia ahead of me... without you..." he told me, his dark, sad eyes tearing my heart into bloody ribbons.

I became acutely aware of my limited lifespan, and I felt his future pain and loneliness as if it were my own. "I wish I was a singular entity!" I blurted out.

Dylan sucked in a breath that sounded like a sob. "No, my love," he said, caressing my face with his fingertips. "I wish I was a proper man. One who can grow old with you and have a life, integrated into your society; not hidden away like a dirty little secret." His bitter outburst took me by surprise. That's when I told him about my conversation with Nick, and how he'd been avoiding me since. I aired my worries that this could well be the end of the spaceship project and our dream of Earth.

"He KNEW, he bloody KNEW, Dylan!" I buried my face in my hands and bawled.

"I don't know how, but he just KNEW..."

"It's not your fault, Bella." Dylan held me in his arms, rubbing my back in slow circles. "Nick loves you. That's how he knew. He's a perceptive man, and I wish I could meet him and let him know, how much I love you and – should anything happen to me – I would like him to look after you."

The floodgates opened, I cried harder and harder. The prospect of losing Dylan was not something I wanted to consider... 'Don't even go there!' For now – I had to settle with 'Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.'

* * *

Three agonizing days after Bella's birthday, a tentative knock kicked me out of my gloomy existence. It could only be Bella, but I couldn't bring myself to face her. I didn't open the door of my self-contained unit.

I only moved in a few months ago on my 20th birthday. I chose to leave my family's habitat because my parents were expecting my baby sister. She was still a tiny blastula in a test tube, and she would need another eight months to mature before she'd be ready for harvest. This is how we reproduce on the space station. We leave nothing to chance. Law requires men to make a sperm donation on their 18th birthday. Their seeds are kept frozen in the sperm bank at 2.73 degrees Kelvin – a brainfreezing -270.42 °C. The sperm bank tethered to the outside of the space station keeps the goods nice and frozen. Stored for eternity.

After their sperm harvest, men undergo a vasectomy – no exceptions!

Couples wanting a child apply to the Council. If they gain approval the woman's eggs are collected and fertilized. The fertilized eggs undergo screening for aberrations before the ones that pass the genetic quality control procedures are transferred to an in vitro incubator and left to develop to maturity.

We don't take the medical risks of pregnancy, childbirth, and postnatal depressions any longer. The last recorded pregnancy on Δ9 dates back to the year 2933. Since then, breeding has been a highly controlled enterprise.

I'm happy that my parents received permission to raise a second child. Many families will only ever have one. Recently, however, a spell of 'breeding weariness' had settled - especially over the younger couples. Breeding applications have significantly dropped over the past few years. So significant and steep was the drop the Council started to encourage couples to apply for a second child. Many responded to the Council's encouragement, and humankind on the space station seemed to be safe from extinction – at least for another generation.

I always wanted to be part of a big family, a tribe to belong to - a wife and children of my own. As much as I love roaming the forests of Ontario and the shores of Lake Huron in the company of my animal friends, I always longed for a female companion to travel with me. In my recent fantasies, I assigned this position to Bella. In my dreams, I shared my life with her. I even stopped using The Sphere to my full allowance because it saddened me to be alone. I also knew life on the space station was not enough for what we both wanted from life.

Designing and building a warp driven spaceship which would take us back to Earth, was like a free pass out of this dilemma. Now an extra dimension was added: If I managed to get Bella away from The Sphere, she would eventually forget Dylan and fall in love with me. I was her second choice after all... and sometimes that's all a man needs to know. The sooner we got this spaceship approved and built, the faster we could get away from the space station and explore the wonders of life without restrictions. But I was also afraid she might choose to stay in the space station, close to her imaginary lover inside The Sphere.

I made a point of not getting in touch with Bella for a few days. I wanted to give her time to miss me and come to the same conclusions as I had. Please, please, please! Because if she wanted to stay, there wouldn't be any point in pursuing the dream of faraway Earth. I couldn't go without her.

I sought Bella out soon after. The fog of despair, which had settled heavily over me, still engulfed me. I had girlfriends before, and all of them were beautiful and intelligent, but none of them could be a match for Bella. "I hate you, Dylan!" I repeatedly cursed under my breath, emphasizing each 'hate' by punching the wall. And I meant it with all my heart! My resentment didn't change a thing, of course. My only chance of ever being with Bella was this damned spaceship to take her out of the reach of The Sphere. For all I knew, The Sphere could have been a man-made artifact, sent from Earth as a present to the space station. So there could be Spheres dotted all over planet Earth, allowing her to meet Dylan. But it was my best bet, and years of traveling with me might be enough to wipe Dylan from her heart.

Bella's eyes lit up when she saw me hovering at her door, but there was an edge to her, too.

Instead of a greeting, I lurched straight into my spiel, "Uhm... do you still want to go ahead with the spaceship, now... now that..." Shit! Not the casual self I was aiming to be, "...you have a boyfriend?" I spat those last words out. Soon as I asked this all-important question, the iron knot in my stomach tightened.

"Sure," she said to my big surprise, "Earth is still very much on the menu. I was afraid, you might want to pull out... I wasn't sure..." She was as uncomfortable as I was judging by her shaky voice. "I mean – uh – I thought..." She paused. "Well, I don't know, what I was thinking. I worried when you didn't turn up. I should've come and check on you, but I wasn't sure you wanted to see me and..."

Oddly enough, Bella's nervousness calmed me down. Seeing how much she struggled to hold it together, put me in the driver seat. I took her hands. "Listen. You have nothing to apologize for. I've been a jealous dick, all right? I have to apologize. I should've been in touch." But I chose to sulk and lick my wounded pride instead. "I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have done this to you."

We picked up work where we left it four days ago. It was hard to concentrate in Bella's presence, and over the following weeks, I found myself trapped in an awkward moment more than once. Her boyfriend overshadowed our relationship. 'Imaginary boyfriend!' I frequently reminded myself. The ecstasy on her face every time she entered The Sphere tore my soul apart piece by piece.

I should've stayed well clear, but I couldn't help but observe her entering and leaving The Sphere. I don't know what I was trying to achieve. I think, I was hoping to detect clouds in the sky above paradise one day and be able to comfort her and... I knew in my heart of hearts those were foolish hopes beyond foolish hope, and I can only describe my mental state during those weeks and months following Bella's 18th birthday as obsessive.

I didn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I cried a lot, and I started to work out excessively.

My martial arts training was the one thing granting me temporary relief when I wasn't busy traveling inside The Sphere. I've been training mixed martial arts since my fourth birthday. I gained my first black belt at the age of 15, and I'm currently a third Dan black belt. I am strong, I am fast, and I am deadly. Practicing my katas and perfecting my precision in the break tests grounds me. My body moves, and whirls, and smashes, and kicks. My mind is sharp and focused on the task, and my soul is at peace. During training, there is no Bella, no Dylan, no pain, no hurt, no tears no despair. There is just me, and peace, and solitude. I stepped up my training schedule during that time, and it showed in my physique. I was never a weedy person. I'm six foot two, and I usually weigh in at around 85 kg. In the aftermath of Bella's birthday, I gained five kilos in muscle. The female space-stationers started to take more and more notice of me, and a good few made it clear, they wouldn't kick me out of their bedroom, should I be interested.

But I wasn't interested.

# 20 - Chaotic Beginnings

Without Bella by my side, my world was empty, cold, and I felt lost like never before. I never had family or even close friends. It's not how it works for singular entities.

Our community is a loose network forged out of need and convenience rather than for pleasure. In the seconds after the universe came into existence (after we came into life!), we realized, we needed a set of rules so as not to compromise other singular entities' freedoms or even the existence of the universe. The universe is a fragile little thing. Whatever happened in the first nanoseconds of its existence could have swung its fate in different directions. The universe as we know it happened to exist because one of the newborn singular entities screwed up. It was never meant to expand, split, and diversify in all those galaxies, matter, and antimatter. Stars never had any business to form or collapse, and space-time shouldn't be able to warp and... Ah! Where to start? It was a mighty mess right from the start.

10-9 (that's 0.000,000,001) seconds after what humankind refers to as the 'Big Bang', the fourth singular entity coming into existence fluffed it. Royally! The three before him – myself included - did rather well. We went with the flow and immersed ourselves into the violent cosmic fluxes to surf the nothingness on the cresting waves of the newborn universe. But there is always one who thinks they need to swim against the flow, rebel, and challenge the establishment. Not that there was much of an establishment to challenge in the cauldron of the emerging universe. Everything was molding, forming, and changing. The raging torrents threatened to rip the universe apart right from the beginning and fling it into oblivion even before it fully came into existence. Even now – 15 billion years later – we still have to deal with the aftermath caused by young φριξ.

He got himself trapped in the primary energy torrent, which directed the rapidly expanding universe into the general direction of where nowadays Galaxy EGS8p7 occupies the space. Had he been smart enough to just surf the flow, he could have eased himself out a few million light-years further down its path.

But no! φριξ was the Adam of all hotheads and had no intention to relax and let the current take him until it released him, leaving him free to roam and explore. He had to turn around and battle the raging torrent! The impact of his actions was detrimental. Hothead that he was, he decided to stop his swirling energy core and change its direction at the same time. The effect was immediate and destructive: The energy torrent smashed against φριξ's stationary core like a tsunami against a harbor wall. And like a harbor wall, young φριξ didn't stand a chance of surviving the impact. He instantaneously ceased to exist, and his essence was absorbed and dissipated within the now chaotic maelstrom of currents churning around the impact site. The 'harbor wall' that was φριξ caused the energy wave to break, reflect, and divert in all directions. This wasn't meant to happen and for the next hundred million years we singular entities needed all our skills and powers to prevent the young universe from collapsing.

While the source of the main flow kept spilling gargantuan amounts of energy down the path of its initial bed, the backlash from the impact against φριξ caused a massive standing wave, which traveled slower than the spill following it. The wave grew exponentially! Luckily, the enormous forces had created alternative beds at the point of impact, which allowed the massive amount of built-up energy to dissipate and divert into different directions.

Those initial events, right after the universe came into existence, are the reason, humans estimated its age at roughly 13.8 billion years. In fact, its true age is over 15 billion years. Humans assumed the universe has a center from which it expanded radially outwards after the 'Big Bang'. What they didn't know, is that its initial expansion was one-directional. By making wrong assumptions, they calculated the distance to the center from which it started its expansion to be the spot, where young φριξ so foolishly tried to stand his ground, not accounting for the additional time it took the main flow to reach the crash site from its true origin.

I was the third entity to emerge from the cauldron of the Universe's Origin. I'm one of the few who still remember things as they were supposed to be. The fifth vanished in the aftermath of the violent collision between the main plasma stream and φριξ. I almost died post-collision. The reflux of the mighty energy-tsunami tried to suck me in and smash me right back into the Origin from where I had emerged half a nanosecond before. I don't know how, but I managed to grab one of the emerging sidearm flows and hang on long enough for its current to sweep me away. I also saved singular entity number six by grabbing hold of its essence, taking it with me on my ride. And what a ride it was!

The catastrophic impact between φριξ and the high-energy quark-gluon-plasma stream caused a segregation of antimatter and matter. Anything that made it past the collision point well in time ended up as matter; everything coming into existence after the event ended up predominantly being antimatter or of mixed matter.

The collision was so powerful even electric charges reversed. The matter-singular entities, which collided with this maelstrom of newly formed positronic antimatter, were annihilated. Only the swift diversion of the energetic flows allowed us singular entities to avoid sudden destruction. I am a mixed-matter being. I shouldn't exist because my two-sided nature is supposed to blot itself out. My antimatter and matter streams should collide and nullify my very essence. Being created so soon after the Big Bang, I came into such close contact with the collision event, I ended up with little matter content. Most of my form is antimatter or antimatter-related. Because I'm mainly antimatter, probability alone ensures, my antimatter and matter streams don't collide and annihilate themselves. But in fact – it is me, who controls their paths.

Humans - in a loose sense – are descendants of the matter stream, which carried on unabashed and created the parts of the universe human senses and probes can readily observe. The vast majority of the universe, though, is inaccessible to even the most sophisticated of human-built sensors. Although antimatter was detected, examined, understood, and its powers harnessed millennia ago, it still harbors a lot of mysteries and secrets. Take dark matter for instance: Scientists know it must exist – the laws of physics tell them so. But so far, dark matter is an unproven, because unobservable, concept. Millennia after scientists first discussed it at the beginning of the 20th century it is still somewhat controversial. There's also a host of subatomic particles and non-particles, which have yet to be mathematically predicted and confirmed. Mathematics foretold the Higgs boson to exist 50 years before a team at CERN found the first measurable evidence of its existence.

To this day, singular entities are riding the various streams, which got so violently diverted from their mother stream, and create the fabric of the Universe as we know it. But we do more than riding the energy flows: we tend to them, we control them, and we continually monitor them. These flows can pose a serious threat to the universe - especially when torrents of opposed polarity or different matter cross the same paths. We do our best to deal with them.

The unfortunate doings of φριξ prompted us singular entities to enforce rules and laws, which all singular entities must adhere to. I can't complain about those rules too much – I was one of the singular entities, who came up with and approved of them. The laws make sense. But of course, things can change for the unexpected... Especially when love is involved. I suppose, boarding a spaceship to Earth was a reasonable plan compared to the madness of my feelings for Bella. A singular entity in love – what's the Universe come to?

* * *

I longed for a life with Dylan! We needed to get away from The Sphere and onto the spaceship to Earth if we wanted our dream to come true. Dylan put himself in danger every time we met. I reasoned, if we managed to spirit him away to Earth, the energetic environment wouldn't be radically disturbed if he took on his human appearance. There would be more than enough humans to absorb another one. Dylan should be able to blend into the crowd, and he would be safe.

Blending in was impossible on the space station. Every face was accounted for. His appearance on Δ9 would inevitably cause a massive upset in the station's energetic fingerprint. That much I understood from Dylan's explanations about the workings of the cosmic energy continuum. We had to work on a plan! I was confident we could figure out how to get Dylan safely onto the spaceship and to Earth. First, we had to design and build the ship, and therefore it was paramount to keep Nick involved. So far so good – Nick was still keen, and Dylan promised a gravitational map, which would allow Nick to navigate the spaceship through the abyss of the universe. Should we ever get permission to build it...

When we weren't wrapped up in ourselves, Dylan and I discussed strategies to sell 'project spaceship' to the Committee. It would be an uphill struggle, and I expected many obstacles: reluctance, inertia, and plain fear of the unknown. Our society hasn't had much of 'the unknown' in recent centuries. Although stranded in outer space – beyond the reach of our home planet employing conventional space travel – we came to consider the space station a safe environment. We are looking after it, we don't exploit it, and we treat it with respect. My only chance of getting the Council's permission was to point out the subtle cracks and glaring fissures that appear on the façade of a stagnant society. A static society is like an ancient building. The render cracks over time and allows the elements to deteriorate the underlying brickwork. I needed to show them that– as a society – we needed to do something to smooth these cracks and heal the fractures, or we would perish.

Dylan listened to the various drafts of the speech I was putting together and was patient enough to give input and constructive critique. I had one - and only one - shot at this. I had to get it spot on! Time was running out! Presenting our case was imminent. It all depended on Nick's feasibility studies and preliminary design plans for the engine.

"You know it's still a long shot, don't you?" Dylan asked me.

I scolded him for being 'so very pessimistic for a superior being.'

He laughed out loud. "You consider me superior? I know nothing about this. I never had to build a spaceship from scratch. It's definitely not my area of expertise."

"Yeah – that's because you are so superior you can go wherever you want to without needing props."

The expression on his face turned somber. He lifted my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. "I'm not omnipotent, you know. I can't overcome or go against the forces of Nature or the laws of the Universe. There is no way I can make the impossible happen." His pain sliced neatly through my heart. His determination and need to do whatever it took to keep me safe left me bleeding inside. Frustration that he couldn't just snap his fingers and get us to Earth was gnawing at his insides. "I can't risk your safety, Bella. I can't!" He raked his fingers through his hair. "I need to be on board to navigate. I don't think Nick can do it all by himself. I must be there! To intervene if things go wrong."

"But of course you'll be there!" I said. "I'm not leaving without you. I'm also refusing to spend years in space without seeing you."

He embraced me with a heated ferocity that made my body meld against his. "No more talk about this stupid spaceship now," he purred seductively before he trailed off into a soft mumble, and the hypnotic quality of his voice put me in a trance-like state.

Dylan deftly took my top off and started to busy himself with tracing his lips over the sensitive nook between my neck and shoulder. A big, warm tigress unfurled inside my stomach. I stretched my neck sideways to give him better access, our physical attraction overpowering conscious action. "We'll talk about it later," I sighed before I surrendered to his capable hands.

It was going dark when we resurfaced. Dylan's even breathing tickled my neck, and when I shifted position, his arms banded me even tighter - as if to keep me in place. When he relaxed his embrace again, I slipped out of it, an eerie feeling guiding me downstairs. Something wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

* * *

I woke the second she left my arms. I wasn't ready to release her quite yet, and I wasn't going back to sleep without her beside me. So I lolled on the settee, hoping for her to come back. I lay on my back mulling over our conversation about the spaceship. However slim the chances – long term it was our only option. An irrational, but ugly feeling that we were living on borrowed time, bound to be found out soon, nagged me. I kicked off the light blanket. I was soaked in sweat and in need of a swim. I found Bella in the kitchen, transfixed, staring out toward the lake. "What is it, honey?" I stepped up behind her, folding her into my embrace. I can never help it when I'm close up behind her!

"I don't know... I... somebody just walked over my grave."

I closed my eyes and hugged her tighter. "I think we need to get this spaceship off the ground," I said.

"You feel it too, don't you?" she mumbled.

"Yes," I confirmed before I got very busy kissing and nibbling her sensitive neck.

The swim could wait.

# 21 - Dark Horizons

Three weeks after my birthday, odd and unexpected things started to happen as we entered The Sphere. The usually gentle and soft entry was jerky that day. The Sphere sucked me in like a toddler on a sugar high would slurp a milkshake through a straw and spat me out in front of the house. I stumbled and would have fallen had Alchemist not steadied me.

I didn't imagine this. The horses were confused. Silvercloud pranced snorted indignantly. Alchemist shook his head as if to get rid of pesky flies. I patted their necks whispering soothing words of nothing. I spotted Dylan sitting in the swing chair on the porch. It was a hot day in August, and laziness lay like gossamer sheets over everything. There was no breeze, and the sun beat down on me as I walked toward the house. Dylan was fast asleep. How unusual. I mischievously set Digger on waking him up. "Give him a nice wet slobbery kiss, my boy!" I egged him on, and my dog eagerly obliged.

I should've known something was wrong from the moment The Sphere sucked me in violently and dropped me so rudely in front of the house. The second hint was Dylan not noticing our arrival. He nearly flew out of his skin when Digger jumped on his chest and licked his face enthusiastically.

"Universe!" he screamed.

Digger jumped off him, barking like mad.

"Didn't you hear us coming?" I asked.

"No - I didn't sense you, baby." He rubbed the remnants of sleep from his face. "I don't understand..."

"Well, you must have been under really deep. Did you have a good sleep?"

"Honey, I can't even remember coming here!" he growled.

My skin tingled. "Does this... mean anything...?" I dared to ask, clenching and unclenching my fists in a nervous rhythm.

He shook his head. "Not that I know of. Relax, baby!" He pulled me into his arms, kissed me tenderly, and ran his fingers leisurely up and down my bare arms.

I shivered. "It's stifling hot." I swatted away some insects buzzing around my head. "Do you want to join me for a swim?"

"Sure." He grinned and started to undress.

It always sets my nerves on fire when Dylan gets naked. And I don't ever try to hide it.

He wove his fingers through mine, and we ran hand in hand into the lake. We squealed and laughed, fooling around for a bit. It didn't take us long to swim to the little island with the most beautiful rocky shore. Majestic fir trees grow right up to the edge, leaving a narrow strip of moss and grass to lie on and relax. There is one obvious point of exit: a set of natural steps in the steep rock towering a good 10 meters above the water's edge.

"After you," Dylan said gallantly when it came to getting out.

I mock-huffed, "You just like the look of my backside right in front your face!"

"I sure do!" He didn't even try to deny it. I smiled. I expected him to be well horny by the time we made our way up.

Dylan threw me onto the soft moss as soon as he had both his feet on firm ground again. How predictable! I laughed!

"Time to ravish you!" His eyes met mine. He kissed me long and luxuriously, his hands roaming over every inch of my body. Learning me. Mapping every detail. And setting the place alight in the process. His touch felt incredible! It was by far too hot to have sex, but what the hell.

When we woke much later following hours of lovemaking and a dead-to-the-world slumber, the day had changed from a hot summer-sizzler to a slate-gray storm-brewer. Fierce, howling winds whipped the crowns of the trees overhead and rippled the water, which had lost all of its previous calm. White horses raced across the surface and transformed the lake into something dark and foreboding.

"Mother Universe!" Dylan exclaimed. "What's going on?"

"Looks like all hell broke loose while we were having a post-coital kip." I was as surprised as Dylan. Neither of us had seen this sudden change in weather coming and frankly – it didn't often happen... actually - it never happened... I swallowed hard.

"We can't swim back in this," Dylan decided matter-of-factly. "We'll have to ride the weather out here. And baby," he possessively placed his hands on my hips and drew me into his body, "...when I say ride..."

I dished out a playful slap on his pecs. "Knock it off, you beast!"

He laughed, but there was an uneasy edge to his voice. "Let's find somewhere dry before it starts to rain." He took my hand and led me deeper into the forest. The massive fir trees swayed battered by the increasing winds, and the forest spoke to us in a thousand voices. Whispering, enticing, evil...

I shivered. What was happening? I never felt uneasy, let alone unsafe, in my sphere-world before! From across the water, I heard the horses' whinnies and Digger's bark. Dylan jerked to a halt, and I almost smashed into him. He turned around, placing his index finger on his lips. "Shh..." he motioned more than he spoke.

A big snowy owl hung helplessly tangled up in the undergrowth of the forest. Flapping, snagged by the prickly shoots of brambles and low-hanging branches of fir trees. I sucked in a breath. What a majestic animal!

"Hold still – I don't want to aggravate her. She's in distress," Dylan said.

"She certainly is," I whispered. "Let me go get her." I walked slowly, but purposefully toward the owl, trying not to come across as a predator. I cooed soothing words to the panicked animal, which hung exhausted in the vegetation holding it trapped. I wished I had clothes to protect me from its massive talons and beak, but I would have to do without. The bird didn't move. It held my gaze as I tried to convey nothing but benevolence and kindness. When I got close enough to reach it, the bird flapped briefly, before it surrendered to my careful touch. It wasn't as bad as it looked. I managed to detangle the owl in less than 10 minutes without doing much damage, or so I hoped. Only when I finished, did I realize Dylan was standing next to me.

He looked at me admiringly. "It's a young bird – possibly still depending on its parents for food." He examined the bird, checked its wings, and then set it on the ground. "Let's move away, but keep an eye on it. Her parents might be close."

"And if not?" I asked anxiously.

"Then you just got yourself another pet, baby." Dylan smiled warmly at me.

For the next three hours until sunset, we sat well camouflaged behind the thick vegetation, monitoring the young owl. She shrieked and called, but no parent materialized.

"The storm might be too strong for them to come," Dylan mused. "We have to wait until this weather settles and then see what happens."

By early morning, the storm had blown over and once again, the waters of the lake lay calm in the rising heat of this August day. I stayed with the owl while Dylan swam back to get the boat. We figured, if we sat her outside in the meadow, her parents might find her easier than in this dense dark forest.

Digger always hunts squirrels, rabbits, and other rodents. Hardly a day passed when he didn't present us with one of his catches. Today they would come in handy because I could feed them to the little snowy owl. One baby rabbit and half a squirrel later, the young snowy owl sat relaxed on the banister of our porch, raising her voice occasionally to call out for her parents. I stood at the kitchen-window watching the young animal when Dylan stepped up behind me. He leisurely stroked my bare shoulders under the tank top straps, and I could feel the heat radiating off his naked torso.

* * *

"Don't you think it's odd, baby?" I continued stroking Bella's shoulders and upper arms. My touch sending shivers through her entire body, creating waves of ecstasy underneath her soft skin.

"Mhhh..." She moaned softly, leaning back into my body, resting her head against my chest. I chuckled. I always knew she was a sensual woman, the way her aura burned like a white, hot quasar, but I never expected her to react to my every touch the way she did.

"...mhhh... I mean..." I found myself enthralled by her bare shoulders, her exposed neck, and her heavenly scent. It became impossible to focus on what I was saying.

"Odd - you mentioned 'odd,' Dylan," she guided me back on track.

"Yes... odd... don't you think the past days have been odd?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary apart from The Sphere being rough – the storm, the snowy owl..." She stiffened in my embrace. "Do you think something sinister is going on? Something we should keep an eye on?" Bella's voice trembled with worried tension.

"I don't know, baby. Sanctuaries are not supposed to be threatening or rejecting. Gosh – I'm not even sure if this counts as hostile behavior. It's not like we were in any danger as such..." I paused and started chewing my lip.

"Aw, you look so sexy when you bite your lips!" Her eyes green pools of longing... I-want-sex-NOW-longing. She grabbed strands of my hair and pulled my head down to her luscious mouth. And that was the end of this conversation. At least for the moment.

# 22 - Dylan

I didn't like to mention it, but the somewhat rough experience The Sphere was giving Bella, concerned me. Sanctuaries are places of peace and serenity. Sacred places. Those who are aware of them, treat upsets occurring in these spaces with great concern.

It was my duty to relate even the slightest hint of an upset, should it come to my attention. Witnessing such a disturbance and failing to report it was enough in itself to send me into oblivion. Never mind having a relationship with a human and making her aware of my alien nature! I was screwed! What concerned me most was the fact the disturbance only affected Bella and myself. None of the other users logged any complaints so far. At least there were no reports of irregularities.

The summary of recent events was the equivalent of a massive cosmic finger pointing at us! Was there a limit of how many beings could be in The Sphere at any given time? If so – why didn't things go pear-shaped earlier? Or was the effect accumulative? I was at a loss! It was impossible to compare this case to previous upsets in other sanctuaries. Each sanctuary is unique - from its looks to its workings. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some are artifacts like The Sphere; others are objects in the universe – like some black holes or gravitational vortices. Some are gaseous masses the size of an entire galaxy; some are little lakes or rocks on a planet.

I hoped my brethren wouldn't notice the upsets caused by Bella entries. It might not happen again. But hot needles of fear poked and prodded and made my skin tingle.

Time to go for a ride around the universe! I went to work. Systematically mapping the gravitational fluctuations would take a while, but it would hopefully take my mind off The Sphere and help to speed up the process of getting 'project spaceship' onto the launch pad.

Nick would never be able to navigate a warp-ship all by himself, but I was confident I could. 'It will be a bit clunky. Nothing compared to gliding through the universe the way I do! Perfectly manageable, though.' This left us with yet another problem: to make sure, I was the one flying the ship. Not Nick. 'I will cross this bridge when I come to it.' Then I gave myself over to the pleasure of zooming through space and visiting my favorite places before I started my mapping work in earnest.

# 23 - Fear

Apprehensive but prepared I approached The Sphere. She took me in with a greedy slurp sucking the air out of my lungs. I gasped, inhaling the crisp air of British Columbia as I stumbled onto the meadow in front of the house, cursing, and steadying myself.

"Dylan, babe, I'm here!" He wasn't asleep on the front porch this time. My heart lurched. A cool breeze stirred my initial unease, which rapidly developed into an icy fist, grabbing hold of my heart, squeezing it. Hard! Terror crushed my chest like a landslide. I couldn't breathe. I sprinted toward the house propelled forward by a thundering torrent of panic. Unable to maintain control over my shaky legs, I tripped on the steps leading up to the front porch, tumbling hard and banging my forehead on the rocking slide, marginally missing the glass door. I lay sprawled on the deck, dazed and confused, but the adrenaline flooding my system picked me up again. I staggered into the house; a nasty cut on my forehead dripping blood onto the light wooden floor.

"DYLAN!" High-pitched panic dominated my voice. "PLEEEEEAAASEEE!" The room started spinning... around and around... until I could no longer stand upright.

"Please, please, please! Where are you?" Ice-cold fear constricted my vocal cords, and my voice seized up. I crashed to my knees, heaving with the onslaught of nausea, unable to produce more than a faint whimper. The overwhelming certainty that Dylan was dead gutted me in one swift motion. The love of my life - executed! My mind couldn't handle the agonizing horror filling my entire being to bursting. Mercifully, the black veil of unconsciousness blanketed the terror, and I passed out.

* * *

I found Bella's lifeless body face down on the floor, profusely bleeding; a whimpering Digger licking her face.

"Bella – what happened?" I crashed to my knees. My hands shook as I checked her vital signs. Erratic pulse. Dark currents. Bad! "Wake up, baby, please..." I picked her up and carried her to the settee.

Bella started to come round, groaning, her face a mask of terror and pain. I was kneeling next to her, holding her hand. Stroking. Stroking. She collapsed into an uncontrollable crying fit. She sobbed and howled in pain.

"Does it hurt that much, baby?" I asked. "Please, talk to me. Tell me what happened."

She was unable to speak, and all I could do was try to calm her down, holding her, rocking her like I would a child. "Please, baby, I found you bleeding on the floor. Tell me what happened?"

It took a long time for Bella's blood to flow normal, and her fear to ebb enough to talk. "I thought you were dead!" she screamed, her voice made of splintered icicles and broken glass. "I thought they got you... I would never see you again! I thought..." Uncontrollable sobs cut her off. She started hiccuping.

"Baby, I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere. Why would you think I was dead?"

"You weren't here, Dylan! You are always here when I enter. I called for you, and you didn't come, and I ran and fell, and I hurt my head. I thought I'd lost you and it still scares me so much, and I think I am going to die and..." she screamed the still lingering heartache away. "I can't face this ever again. It'll kill me," she finally whispered exhausted.

"I'm so sorry, baby! I am so, so sorry to cause you so much pain." My heart shattered, seeing my lover's distress. "I didn't know you were here, baby. I didn't sense you. The mapping exercise... it distracted me. I don't know..."

Bella clung to me like a drowning kitten, and I pulled her tight against me. Why did I fail to sense her entering The Sphere? I never missed her before, but this time I had been oblivious to her arrival. Distracted by mapping gravitational features? I very much doubted it! I didn't believe the Singular Entity Council knew; they would have seized me instantaneously if they had so much as an inkling. I was worried about the integrity of The Sphere, though. It doesn't often happen, but sanctuaries can fail and cease to function. The puzzling thing was that The Sphere failed exclusively for Bella and me, and I had no explanation why this might be. I focused on calming Bella down. "Right, I'll make you something to eat." She shook her head. "You have to eat something, baby. It will help to calm your nerves."

"I'm sick to the stomach, Dylan. I can't keep anything down." She heaved in confirmation. "Please don't make me eat!" She hiccuped and started to shake violently. The shock of losing me! My heart bled for her.

"Okay – but you let me know if you need anything." For the time I would just sit with her, hold her, and give her time to recover.

An hour later, Bella was still shaking like a leaf, and occasionally she sobbed and sighed, tears pouring down her face. Pain, confusion, and despair rolling in all-consuming shock waves through her body. Her pain was mine, and I was desperate to find out what was causing The Sphere's irregular behavior.

"What is it, Dylan? Why is this happening?" my lover asked.

"I don't know... I wish I did." I stroked her forehead, checking out the nasty cut she sustained. "Let me get something on this before it gets infected." I got warm water and a few leaves of strong wild sage, which has antiseptic properties. I washed the wound with sage tea before I wound a clean cloth around her head. "How is your head? Do you hurt at all?"

"No, I'm fine, really. Just the cut, that's all."

"Still, I want you to go to bed and lie down. Just to be on the safe side." I wouldn't have 'no' for an answer. I snatched up her limp body and carried her upstairs. I made sure she was comfortable before I got ready for some inquiries. "I'll be outside for a while, baby. Call me if you need me."

I whistled for the horses. They answered my call with a whinny, and came galloping, ears pricked up, and nostrils flaring. I petted them and gave them an apple each. "Fancy a ride?" I whispered softly. Eager eyes and prancing hooves told me 'yes.' I mounted Silvercloud and headed to the beach.

The beach was the most natural place inside The Sphere for me to probe the energy fluctuations inside this sanctuary. The boundary where air, land, and water meet might reveal the reason of what was going on. I urged the horses to run faster. I had no time to waste. I hated leaving Bella behind, but I needed to get to the bottom of the issues we were experiencing inside The Sphere.

As soon as we reached the beach, I jumped off Silvercloud's back, stripped naked, and waded into the icy waters of the Pacific Ocean. I walked deeper into the water, my arms trailing at my side, fingers splayed to create a maximum of resistance against the body of water. I planted my feet firmly on the sandy bottom of the ocean floor and inhaled the salty air deeply into my lungs. I threw all my human and alien senses wide open. Eyes closed I, stopped once the water reached my waist: a statue in the pale moonlight. I sensed the power thrumming around me and listened to the characteristic background music of the universe only some of its species can hear.

# 24 - New Horizons

I stood submerged to my waist, at the borderline of water, air, and land, where I opened myself up wide: to feel, and sense, and listen, and taste the energetic flavors of The Sphere. I had difficulties not allowing my worries to distract me. I struggled. Bella occupied my thoughts and emotions, and there was no way I could push her out of my mind far enough to let the universe flood me. I squeezed my eyes shut, ignoring the sweat beading my forehead, dripping into my eyes. Concentrate! Indeed... There were erratic disturbances present in the serene energy patterns of this sanctuary, which... originated (?)... from Bella.

Really...? How could Bella change the flows to evoke such powerful physical changes? No human should have this ability! Did she pick up some tricks from me? Or was I involuntarily channeling powerful flows through Bella, making her appear to be their source? I came up short for an explanation and The Sphere wouldn't tell me. Sanctuaries are good at keeping their secrets. I needed to work this one out for myself! I wasn't going to get any more hints from connecting with the universe. We made our way home where Bella was fast asleep.

I sat by the lake evaluating the problem, Digger keeping me company. It was obvious! The shifts in the currents had something to do with Bella. I didn't seem to have any direct involvement in causing the disturbances within The Sphere. Although, there appeared to be an indirect element, linking the events to me that I couldn't quite fathom. Frustration battled with confidence. I started to think. 15 billion years of experience should help me to solve the puzzle. I felt old and weary all of a sudden.

I must've fallen asleep following hours of pondering. The night was coming to an end, and the rose-tinted fingers of dawn lay claim to the distant mountaintops. Sleep had cleared my thoughts, and I knew precisely what happened. At first, I thought, it was an accumulation of negative energy when having two 'human' beings inhabiting The Sphere. But it didn't make sense. Human beings were allowed to share The Sphere. The sanctuary would strictly refuse to let both of them in simultaneously. The same did not apply to any number of animals, though. Also – I didn't experience any of the ill effects Bella was suffering when she entered. So, if the two of us together were causing the problem, we should receive the same treatment, and we should have experienced these issues right from the beginning. I had to talk to Bella. Didn't want to. I pushed myself up, heaving a bottomless sigh, anxious how she would take the news.

"Wake up, darling," I whispered. She was balled up under the duvet. I was half-tempted to grant her another couple of hours of sleep when she came to life, stretching, yawning, gifting me one of her irresistible smiles.

"Did I sleep long?" she asked.

"You slept a long time, but it's still early. If you want to have a few more hours...?"

"No – it's fine. I'm awake." She winced when she fingered her bandaged head.

"Let me have a look," I offered hastily. Anything to buy me a few more minutes... before I had to break the news to her. I swallowed hard.

"Dylan... is everything all right?" She sounded alarmed.

"You are pregnant!" I blurted out.

Damn! That wasn't quite how I planned the news to come out!

I sat down next to her and took my petrified lover into my arms. I sucked in a deep breath before I tried again.

"I think you are pregnant, baby," I whispered into her hair.

Smooth... That was more like I envisaged it.

"Have you lost your mind, Dylan?" Bella asked incredulously once she regained basic control over her vocal cords. "You're kidding me, right...?"

I shook my head. "I'm afraid not. For all I know, we are going to be parents." I rested my hands on her flat stomach, sensing my unborn child for the first time. "It's... a girl," I beamed, unable to contain my excitement. "A girl. I will have two ladies in my life and..."

"Dylan!" The sharpness in her tone startled me, and my daughter recoiled inside her mother's womb. "We can't have a baby. We just can't..." And then she broke down, sobbing even more violently than last night.

I didn't understand. I was confused! A searing pain sliced my chest wide open. Why was she reacting the way she did? Did she not want to have a baby with me? The rejection - it hurt! It cut! Tears started burning in my eyes.

"Babe..." I tried, "I'm as surprised as you are..." I hugged her tight, groping for words. "I hope those are tears of joy," I attempted a joke. I knew they weren't, but I had to try to lighten her mood. "Aren't you even a little bit happy...?" My heart sagged with every question.

More sobbing... this was not going well! I took a deep breath. Try again, Dylan! I urged myself on. "I might be wrong..." Bollocks! I touched my baby daughter's aura. "Look, Bella, can we please deal with this in a better way. You are confusing me... and you are scaring me... and the baby..."

"How am I going to explain that I'm pregnant? Dylan! NOBODY was pregnant on the space station since... I can't remember the exact date... 2930... or something like that... we are all in vitro children... we... there is... there's no way a woman can get pregnant these days. Do you understand?"

I did. The truth hit me like a bucket full of glacial waters, and I have to admit, I had no idea! I never looked into the breeding habits of the space-stationers, and I don't think it ever came up in conversation - apart from the age restriction of course. The in vitro thing, however, was news to me.

"I'm so sorry, Bella... I should have been aware of this before..." I swallowed the lump in my throat, "...before we started to have sex." I closed my eyes, silently counting to 10. "I... we... should have talked about contraception."

"I didn't know you never had a vasectomy."

Uhhh... no... this thought never occurred to me! Nasty! "Is that... what your men have before...?" I cringed. Poor bastards!

Bella gave me a wry smile. "Yes – it's part of any male stationer's 18th birthday ceremony."

I tensed up just thinking about it! "I didn't know, baby. And I have to admit, I also didn't expect our species to be able to interbreed... even in my human form."

She let out an exasperated sigh. Then she took my hands, which were still resting on her stomach, into hers. "A girl... huh...?" And for the first time this morning, she looked happy.

"The most beautiful baby girl, ever!" I exclaimed proudly.

She gave me a half-excited smile. "Oh, Dylan... what are we going to do?"

"We'll find a way...?" I suggested. "We always have and we will this time."

I pulled her into my chest and nuzzled the soft side of her neck. There was still one more thing I needed to spring on her.

"Will you marry me?" I asked.

Building the spaceship became more important than ever.

# 25 - Bella

I found myself on an emotional roller coaster. The stomach-dropping fear of having lost the love of my life followed by the tightly wound spirals of shock when he told me I was pregnant! I had no idea how I could possibly break the news on the space station! Then - after I marginally recovered from the shock of finding out I was carrying his baby - Dylan topped it off by asking me to marry him. I remember the moment so well: I sat snuggled with my back against his chest, his legs wrapped around mine, his lips trailing the sensitive nook of my neck. I started to relax for the first time since I hit my head, and there he was, dropping the next bomb on me! Not that I was opposed to marrying him. I was in love with the man and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I didn't want him to think he had to marry me... This was so 19th century! But before I could say anything, he hastily produced the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen.

"I wanted to ask you to marry me for a long time. I just didn't know how to. If nothing else – today is the day." He took a deep breath, and then he asked me again. "Will you please marry me, Bella?" There were so much tension and anxiety in his voice, and I couldn't have rejected him if I wanted to.

"Of course I will, Dylan." I turned around, and we kissed. A force-of-nature-type of kiss. Deep, sensual, promising-heaven-type of kiss. The flavor of kiss inevitably leading to more. And before I knew it, we had the most passionate, no-holds-barred sex.

Special! I was special! I lay safely tucked into his arms, drowning in his striking eyes, which appeared gunmetal-gray in the early morning light. I sucked in a sharp breath. In his eyes, I saw everything I was to him: his past, his present, and his future.

"I guess, we'll need to tune our sex-life down a bit over the coming months," he murmured.

"No way, Dylan! There will be no escaping your marital duties. I can promise you that much!"

He grinned a wolfish grin and pulled me closer, whispering into my ear, "What if I told you, our daughter is conscious of everything that's going on between us?"

I gasped in mock shock. "Oh – then I'm telling you, that I have no intention to stop making love to you just because our child is nosy," I replied. "She'll have to live with the fact that I am crazy about her father."

The twinkle in his eyes intensified when he moved his mouth to mine to share another deep, hungry kiss. We weren't quite done for the day! Not that it bothered me much.

We got married on the beach. The ring Dylan put on my finger was stunning. Its surface reminded me of a highly polished version of the black canvas of the Universe, displaying the galactic fireworks of nebulae and galaxies. It was forged by natural forces out of what Dylan told me was a mineral, I'd never heard of.

"There is no human word for it, baby," he told me, "but it's only a picosecond older than I am. The forces of nature created it during the Big Bang. It originated in the center of the Universe, which I call my mother."

I was high on emotions, tears stinging my eyes when he pushed the ring over my finger. Never had I seen so much love in his face as at this very moment.

"We are bonded in the face of the Universe. Now and forever," he declared, and his deep soft voice touched me like never before, sending shivers up and down my spine. "Nobody can challenge or break this bond – ever." Then he kissed me - tenderly, reverently, with almost unbearable love. I remember thinking, 'Too much! This is too much!' And for a fraction of a second, I felt the irrational urge to push him away and run and hide and...

Dylan sensed my disquiet and pulled me close against his body. "It's the bond you are feeling," he murmured soothingly against my lips. "It can be frighteningly intense at first, but you will get used to it."

...and then I didn't think much for the next hour or so.

We made the following days our honeymoon, spending a lot of time discussing how to break the news of my pregnancy to the space-stationers, and how Dylan could be part of our daughter's life. I feared that entering The Sphere would become impossible for me well before my due time, and I couldn't face months of being without Dylan. Not knowing if he was alive or dead. Being unable to communicate with him would also compromise the progress of project spaceship. Nick and I would never manage to plan and build it without Dylan's input. On top of it all, I was also apprehensive about how Nick, my family, and the community would receive my pregnancy. There was a slim but real chance I might end up an outcast, stripped of all social standings, unable to exert any positive impact on society. My name might be tainted forever. Oddly enough - although I should have felt shamefaced for the rest of my life - there was nothing but pure and overwhelming joy about our daughter. 'Mona,' Dylan named her. A lot had changed when it was time for me to leave The Sphere again.

# 26 - Expelled!

The Sphere spat me out. I stumbled hard. Nick caught me just in time, or I might have fallen flat on my face. I ended up plastered against Nick's hard torso, his arms wrapped around me protectively.

"Whoa, Bella!" he said loud enough for everybody to hear. Then he lowered his voice and whispered into my ear, "Such a hurry... trying to escape from Dylan?"

Hot anger surged through me.

"Don't get your hopes up too high, Casanova!" I rebuked him.

"Sorry, Bella. I was trying to make a joke. I apologize if I overstepped the line."

I felt a right idiot! I wasn't fair on Nick. "No, no... it's okay... I'm just a bit tired. Didn't get much sleep last night..." I blushed when I realized the implications. I was sticking hot pokers into Nick's ego, and I didn't feel proud for hurting him.

He let go of me and took a reluctant step back. "If you fancy meeting up later, you can find me in Engineering," he said before he brusquely turned and walked off.

My heart weighed a ton. I wanted to tell him about the new developments, and I wanted his opinion on what we could do not to compromise 'project spaceship.' Loneliness and frustration left me feeling weak and helpless. What I needed most was a friend, a confidant, somebody to help me get through this mess.

"Nick!" I shouted after him. "I need to talk to you!"... 'NOW!' I added a mental plea. But he lifted his right hand in a dismissive farewell gesture without stopping or turning around. He might as well have told me to fuck off.

I slumped down on a bench, burying my face in my hands. I spent more time at the stable than I needed to, avoiding the library where anybody could intrude on me. I needed time to think things through and at least try to not leave too much of scorched earth behind in the wake of what was going to unfold. I couldn't face my parents right now either. My mum would have seen right through me and asked awkward questions. I was a filth-bag full of lies, scheming, and deception, and no idea how to tell them about my pregnancy or Dylan or 'project spaceship' for that matter. Fraud was not only against the customs of our society but against my very nature. I well and truly despised myself! And it hurt! I had no idea how I was going to master this tricky balancing act. It was like walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls in the middle of winter. It scared me, and I wished I could walk away from all of it.

I learned a lot about myself in these past few days inside The Sphere and even more in the short time since I left. And I didn't like most of it.

Me? I'm a calm and composed, rational, fair person; an independent woman free of judgments... That was before I became a liar and a cheat! Now I had to face disturbingly contradictory emotions, which didn't fit into the picture I so favorably painted of myself. The unsavory truth was I was lost and clueless about what to do without Dylan! Now - that was my independence nose-diving overboard. I literally ran around in circles, pulling my hair with both hands, and muttering incomprehensible half-sentences worthy of a madwoman. Perhaps it was time to wave those illusions goodbye and get on with reality-life.

As for being judgmental? Well - I beat myself up for being a stupid bitch, who tried to shift as much blame onto Dylan as I possibly could.

'He should have known, he could get me pregnant,' or 'How was I supposed to know he hasn't had his vasectomy?' or plain and simple, 'It's all his fault!'

The mental stone-turning revealed detestable thoughts, which wormed their way out of the innermost recesses and poisoned my mind. And they sickened me! I couldn't help it. I was unfair and hateful!

"Judas!" I called myself when looking into the mirror in the morning. I stuck my tongue out to the selfish bitch looking back at me. But all I wanted to do was to smash her face.

I managed to avoid Nick for a couple of days. 'I can always say I had urgent business to attend to,' I justified my cowardly behavior. Using 'little white lies' didn't make me feel any better, but in the grand scheme of things, it didn't make much of a difference. I decided to walk the path of the least resistance until there was no other way but to come clean.

The Sphere made my visits more awkward each day. Where I used to rest my hands on the horses' withers, Digger pressed up against my leg, I now avoided touching my animals during entry and exit because they had a more comfortable experience that way. A week after we found out I was pregnant, I encountered an unusually rough entry. It was only early October, but a mighty blizzard greeted us. No landmarks! The whiteout erased the house, the lake, and the forest. I froze, didn't know which way to go. We could end up in the lake or get lost in the forest. The nervous horses crowded in on me. I called out for Dylan. The howling wind ripped his name from my mouth, and the storm whipped my face. My clothes were unsuitable for riding out a blizzard, and within minutes, I was caked in snow, which soon started to melt and trickled down my neck. I was cold and miserable and on the verge of a panic attack. For all I knew, The Sphere could have dumped us on the North Pole! The damn thing had its own agenda these days and wasn't under my or Dylan's control any longer. Digger nudged me and tugged at my sleeve, startling me out of my paralysis. My dog beckoned me to follow him and took the lead confident and calm, and I decided we might as well trust Digger's canine instincts and let him lead the way. Step by step we inched forward, making sure not to lose physical contact with each other. It was the scariest thing I ever had to do. Being pregnant didn't even come close! After 10 minutes – which felt like hours - I was convinced I would never survive this ordeal. We were soaking wet, freezing cold, and exhausted beyond belief. Every minute or so I called out for Dylan. In vain! Please be warm and safe in the house and not imprisoned on death row!

Another five minutes later, and all I wanted to do was to lie down and sleep. I didn't care if I lived or died. I didn't care if the animals lived or died. And I didn't even care about my unborn child. It was disturbing how, in the middle of this struggle to survive, I could still reflect on my own weirdness, but not care about the well-being of my loved ones. I can't say I felt proud of myself. How could I be so weak? How could I not care about the ones I loved most? I was a monster! Cold as the Arctic winter. An egocentric sociopath! Why didn't I fight until my last breath?

Dylan found us mere meters away from the porch, at a point, when I almost decided to give up. He found us coated in layers of flash ice, unable to move, and chilled to the bones. He led all of us into the front room, where the layers of ice started to melt and slide off, forming puddles on the wooden planks. Dylan brought straw from the stable and spread it around the room, so we could all lie down and rest. He stripped me down naked and left me bundled up in front of the fire. He dried the horses and wrapped them in sturdy woolen blankets. Digger managed to shake his fur dry after the icicles melted, and now he rested next to me, not leaving Dylan out of his sight. Digger was the hero of the day!

I sat shivering, unable to help Dylan care for our horses; crying because I felt like an epic failure. I compromised everybody's life by entertaining thoughts of freezing to death, curled up in the deceptive comfort of freshly fallen snow, rather than to woman up and fight to my last breath. 'Yeah... and now I am sitting here lamenting and feeling sorry for myself again...' I was savoring the disgust that occupied my entire being.

* * *

They'd arrived! But locating Bella and the animals was impossible. The blizzard concealed them from my senses. Under normal circumstances, I would've been able to home in on them blindfolded. Especially with the wedded bond connecting us. The obsidian-colored ring I put on Bella's finger amplifies our strong connection many times, making it unbreakable. I should have sensed their auras, giving me enough information to pinpoint their exact position – no problem! Not so in this storm! I couldn't tell direction or distance. I couldn't pick their signatures up. All I sensed was a faint energy blob, flickering in and out at the very edges of my consciousness.

It was paramount to find them! Get them warm and dry. I was caked in a layer of solid ice after spending only two minutes outside. The elements couldn't cause me a fraction of the harm they would cause to Bella and the animals. I swallowed hard to keep the rising panic at bay. I needed to function. I forced myself to use a systematic search pattern. I had no time to waste! Every passing minute brought them closer to an icy death. A solid knot of fear lodged itself deep inside my gut, threatening to take over my mind. I fought hard to keep it together.

When I finally located them, close to 30 minutes had passed, and they were in grave peril of freezing to death. I doubt they would've made it to safety, had I not literally stumbled across them only meters away from the porch.

The lack of my sensory abilities - the way The Sphere interfered by blunting their energy signatures, erased them - was of great concern. I pushed it to the back of my mind. Later! Once I managed to get my family to safety! They narrowly escaped the claws of hypothermia, and I spent the next hour getting them dry and warm.

Digger was the least affected. Once the icicles covering his coat melted away, he vigorously shook himself dry; he was of no immediate concern to me. The horses and Bella were worse off. I scattered copious amounts of straw to allow them to lie down comfortably because they weren't able to stand upright any longer. I ripped Bella's soaking clothes off her icy body, wrapped her in thick blankets, and placed her in front of the roaring fire before I scraped layers of ice off the horses. I covered them in thick woolen blankets and massaged some life back into their frozen limbs. Silvercloud rolled onto her side, grunting and shivering, and I could tell she was suffering by the frailty of her energy pattern. The mare was cold and scared, and although she was weak, she was not in imminent danger of dying of hypothermia. Alchemist lay down, but not on his side like his mother. He was resting more comfortable, and he nuzzled his mother with great concern.

Just snuggle up to her, boy. I patted his neck and reassured him, Silvercloud would be okay. Keep her warm and comfy and tomorrow morning all of this will be nothing but a distant nightmare.

Once the horses settled, I focused on Bella. She was hypothermic and shivering uncontrollably when I found her. She'd gained a bit of color, but her teeth were still chattering at an alarming staccato. Her aura was healthy. So was our baby's. My knees buckled with relief; my hands started trembling. I'd been deeply concerned for their well-being! I sat down next to Bella, resting her head in my lap. Her eyes closed, and soon her deep and even breathing told me, she was fast asleep and recovering. Digger licked my hand before he snuggled up next to Bella to share some warmth with her. The storm raged all night long. The howling winds and my recovering patients made it impossible for me to sleep.

When the new day showed its first timid light, Alchemist was up, and Silvercloud lay propped up, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. The stunned expression on her face, a mixture of curiosity and unease.

"It's okay, girl," I soothed her. "We had some nasty weather last night, and I wanted you to be warm and safe." I ran my hands down her neck and back underneath the heavy blanket covering her. She needed a few more hours to recover but was otherwise fine. Her and Alchemist's signatures were strong and even. I exhaled sharply. Exactly what I wanted to sense!

Bella's tiredness was a different kind altogether. Although her and Mona's essences were strong and healthy, she wouldn't wake up – even when I caressed her naked body underneath the blanket. This was unusual.

I treated Digger and the horses to a hearty breakfast. Deer stew with wild boar fat for Digger and a warm wild oat mash with dried apples for the horses. I prepared coffee and porridge for Bella. I hoped the scent of the coffee would work its magic. She would usually have herbal teas inside The Sphere, but she had an emergency pack of coffee. 'For the unforeseeable occasions, which require something stronger than herbal tea,' she used to joke. I decided, today was one of those unforeseeable occasions. I was right. Once the brew was on and its seductive aromas wafted through the house, Bella opened her eyes, stretched, and yawned.

"Good morning, my love. Coffee... hmm... what's the occasion?"

Can't she remember?

"And why are we all in the living room?" she asked next.

"Uhm... you don't remember...?" I probed tentatively. "The blizzard... you got lost, and I found you just in time to spare you an almighty cold."

She shook her head pensively, eyes screwed tight, trying to make sense before the previous night's ordeal came flooding back to her.

"It was nasty," she finally said. "I never experienced such a storm... I..." Then she clasped her hand over her mouth, wide eyes fixed onto mine. Shock and pain distorted her face. Digger's head flew up when he heard the muffled wail escaping her throat. "The Sphere nearly killed us," she said in a toneless, low voice full of shock and disbelief.

I nodded.

Her eyes begged me for an answer, for help, for absolution. None of which I could give her. I shook my head – helpless...

I spent the rest of the morning cleaning the room of filthy straw and soggy rugs. The storm had stopped, leaving behind a land covered in snow and ice. I led the horses to their stable, which is accessible through a side door from the front room. I made sure they were warm and dry before I dumped all of last night's mess at the side of the porch, spreading the dirty, soggy rugs on the virgin snow. Nothing like a bit of domestic work to distract from the unsettling thoughts occupying my mind!

* * *

For somebody with 15 billion years of life experience, Dylan didn't have a lot of answers. And we needed answers and solutions and a plan on how to proceed. It was glaringly evident I wouldn't be able to enter The Sphere safely any longer. Each entry could put all of us in mortal danger. The Sphere made that crystal clear. Avoiding The Sphere would mean not seeing Dylan for the next eight months or more. Impossible! The thought alone was like a punch to my stomach.

"Time to discuss matters!" I muttered to myself before I took a deep breath, straightened my back, and went downstairs. I found Dylan beating the life out of a rug which lay on the soft snow. "I think it is dead already," I managed a lame joke.

He whipped around, a sturdy broom lifted high above his head.

I stepped toward my lover and wrestled it gently out of his unresponsive grip. I took his hand and led him into the house. "We need to discuss this," I started, once I sat him down in front of the fire. "The Sphere is not going to let me enter for much longer. And each entry could be my last."

He exhaled a heavy sigh before he faced me, brutally worrying his lower lip. "I know," he whispered. "It's too dangerous during your pregnancy. We'll have to make the most of the remaining two weeks here and..."

Whoa! I recoiled. He isn't suggesting what I think he's suggesting?

"I couldn't stand being separated from you until Mona is born," I said. "I'd die not knowing you are safe... not knowing if I'll ever see you again and..."

He touched his fingers to my lips. "Shhh... I'm not saying we can't be together. I couldn't stay away from you for long. I couldn't abandon you. And I certainly wouldn't clear the field for Nick," he added half-jokingly.

"Haha – So. Not. Funny!" I extracted myself from his embrace. "So what's the plan then? You come and visit us on the space station? How are you going to sneak in and out without being noticed? You told me less than half a year ago it was impossible to do so. What's changed since?"

He sighed heavily. "Look, Bella... you will not like this one bit..."

"Damn well I won't like it if it gets you in any more danger," I growled.

"Bella..." He grabbed hold of my hands, his solemn eyes holding mine, promising nothing good to come. "I would have to live with you on the space station."

My jaw dropped.

"It means, we will have to leave The Sphere together, and then I will have to sneak into your quarters and live with you." He looked at me expectantly.

I shook my head.

"Is this a 'No I don't want to live with you' or an 'I can't see how this is going to work' type of shaking your head?" he asked, and the wounded expression in his eyes gutted me.

"You're my husband, Dylan. I'd love nothing better than to live with you."

His tense expression dissolved into a big grin.

"I can't see how it could work," I explained. "If we exit The Sphere together, people will see you. They are milling around the place all the time..."

He squeezed my hands. "I need to explain this in more detail," he said. "To start with – nobody will see me. I will not maintain my human form but exist as a low energy hybrid between my singular entity and human form. This allows me to become invisible because I'll be able to blend into the background. It also means my signature will be almost too weak to be detected by other singular entities, should they happen to float past the space station." He took a deep breath. "I'll be virtually undetectable, Bella."

"So how will I know where you are?"

"I will be in my full human form whenever we are alone." The dirty, wicked grin, which accompanied his words slammed right into my core. It took all my willpower not to succumb to Dylan's sexual magnetism. He was trying to divert my attention.

"So what's the trade-off?" I inquired. "And what does 'ALMOST undetectable' mean? Why didn't you suggest this before if it's so easy to do?"

"There is no fooling you, is there?" he sighed. "Well – it will mean confinement and starvation for me. It'll be torture being locked up inside the space station. I will not be able to maintain my energy body, and this will make me weak and potentially have a negative impact on my human personality." He expelled the breath he'd been holding for a while. "I have no idea, how bad it will be, or if you will be able to put up with me, or..."

"And it would only be for eight months... until the baby is born. And then we'll be able to use The Sphere as normal?" I inquired.

"I assume so..."

"Then why don't you have a bit more belief in yourself and your superhuman abilities and trust you can behave like a normal human being for three-quarters of a year? You could also have a little faith in me. That I'll be able to put up with a gruffer you." I huffed. "And besides – you won't have much time to be grumpy anyway - because you will be working on this warp engine for project spaceship."

He visibly relaxed. "I'm glad you are so pragmatic about it. I'm worried you will hate me by the end of the eight months, and I won't be able to support you, or..."

It was my turn to place my fingers on his lips to stop the words cascading from his mouth. "Let's wait and see how bad it gets and take it from there," I murmured before I shut him up by licking my tongue past his parted lips.

"There's still the matter of your safety, though," he added after coming up for breath.

"Screw my safety!" I rasped. "If we need to care about anybody's safety, it'll be yours. By the way – you never told me the probability of being detected by your kind while living on the space station."

He drew a sigh from an abyss and by the way he averted my gaze, I could tell he didn't want to answer my question. I grabbed hold of his chin and forced him to look me in the eyes.

"HOW LIKELY, Dylan?"

"50:50," he answered deadpan.

I stiffened, and my jaw dropped. "That's not exactly a safe margin." I wasn't comfortable with those odds. Not comfortable at all! "Besides – I never thought you would put me at that sort of risk. I remember you saying, this could cost me my life as well."

"Bella!" he replied hotly. "I would NEVER put you in a 50:50 risk situation. You have to believe me. The danger is for me only. Of course, I would say I sneaked around you and you had no idea I was there..."

"...and the baby?" I asked. "How would you explain the baby?"

His jaw clenched, an epic storm brewing in his gray eyes. Damn it!

"You will have to claim the baby is Nick's."

"Are you out of your mind, Dylan? That means I would have to let Nick in on us and..." Clearly, my husband was insane!

"Once you step out of The Sphere, Bella. You will have to come clean with the pregnancy. It would make sense to talk to Nick and ask him to help you pretend the baby is his... for the sake of the peace on the space station!"

I had a hard time, digesting this new piece of information.

Over the next days, we started to make plans for life in the run-up to Mona's birth. Everything seemed catered for and discussed. There was one problem: Our plan relied on Nick playing along, and I wasn't sure if he would be willing to help me out. Another major problem arose from the animals. Since I was incapable of entering The Sphere, I would need to find somebody to take them. Surely, Nick would... no matter if he was willing to accept parenthood or not. Every time I thought about Nick, the lump in my throat grew bigger and denser. I wasn't even sure we were still friends! I didn't look forward to confessing my pregnancy to the medical profession, which was unavoidable because I had to explain, why I couldn't use The Sphere. I would also need medical support throughout the pregnancy. 'Hiding it' wasn't an option.

I had no idea how the space-stationers would conceive the news, and I was afraid of the public's reaction to my pregnancy. And what if Nick didn't agree to our little travesty? Then I would have to tell them about Dylan-in-The-Sphere. Of course, I could never tell anybody Dylan was real, and I was going to have a child with an alien. It was totally out of the question! Dylan's true nature would have to remain my dirty little secret. Forever!

* * *

We sat on the couch in the front room, talking about our options to shape the months ahead. Bella was adamant. She didn't want me to take the risk of hiding in the space station. I tried to convince her otherwise, but all I had to support my case, was the fact that I was in love, that I wanted to be with my family, and that I wanted to meet Mona as soon as possible after her birth.

We naively assumed we had 10 more days left to discuss proceedings when The Sphere took over once again and gave us another nasty reminder of who was in charge.

"You do realize I won't be able to meet Mona before her sixth birthday once she is allowed to use The Sphere?" I argued. "And after that, I won't be able to have a normal family life with both of you. It'll always ever be either you or her!"

"I hope, we'll be settled on Earth before Mona reaches sphere-age," Bella replied.

"...but you can't be certain about it," I argued. A toxic concoction of frustration, annoyance, and something close to resentment boiled up inside me. I forced a deep breath into my lungs and composed myself before continuing the argument. "I don't get much say in this... do I?

"Dylan, I promise you: I'll do everything to push the spaceship. We'll be together again in less than a year, and we can work on the warp engine and the gravitational maps. I won't sit fat and idle for the coming eight months – I promise you... I..."

I threw my hands up in exasperation. "Stop it, Bella! I know you will do everything in your power to drive the project forward." I stabbed my fingers through my hair. "But it won't solve the problem I have with being separated from my wife and our child. I can't support you. I can't meet my daughter until she's six. Bella – can you possibly understand what it means to me to lose three-quarters of a year with you?...and another six years after that with Mona?" My breathing came hard and frantic; my pulse pounded in my ears. "Your lifespan is so limited, and every minute, every second I can't spend with you is irrevocably lost." I swallowed against the rising lump in my throat, and to my uttermost surprise, I noticed tears stinging my eyes. I rubbed them away angrily with the heels of my fists. Human bodies... My singular entity's mind started to analyze the underlying physiology of it.

"I can't, and I won't think about what lies ahead of me, once you and Mona left. All I can think about are the generations of my family, which will come into existence and vanish. And all I'll be able to do is watch their too short lives and see them die... Bella... can you begin to grasp how much pain this is going to cause me... how much pain it is causing me already to even think about it?" I stood in the middle of the spinning room: defeated, drained empty, sad, and lost for words. My chin rested on my chest, and the weight of the universe crushed my shoulders. I stood there, trying to escape the sticky web of despair cast around me by pondering the future. I was unable to speak or move. Until The Sphere violently dragged me out of my heavy thoughts. The room shook. No! It shrunk and warped and then it expanded again!

I could see the horses and Digger in the meadow in front of the house, but they appeared distant as if viewed through inverted binoculars. Digger barked, but his bark sounded muffled and far away. Underneath me, the tortured floorboards groaned and twisted in agony. I adjusted my stance, steadying myself, and then I lunged toward Bella, who sat on the undulating couch, frozen in the moment, not knowing what was happening.

"Hold on to me and don't let go!" I commanded. We needed to get out of The Sphere! Our reality was disintegrating. And it was disintegrating fast! I could see what must be the bare inner hull of The Sphere about a meter or so away from me. I could almost touch it. Parts of the walls were still displaying fragments of our reality; warped and twisted and barely recognizable. Other parts were missing, creating grinning openings lined with razor-sharp edges. A high-pitched, shrill whistle resonated off the walls and threatened to blow my skull apart. I dragged Bella out of the room and onto the porch.

Where the porch used to be, there was a deep black hole.

We fell!

Bella screamed!

Instinctively I positioned myself in a way allowing me to break her fall. I wrapped myself around her to act as a buffer so the impact wouldn't harm her and the baby. For all I knew, we could have fallen into the universe, never to return!

It was a pathetic performance for somebody like me – somebody familiar with any type of energy flow there is in the universe. But I never came across anything like this before. I was helpless, a child's toy of The Sphere and the forces of nature. All I could do was try to protect Bella with all I had and hope for the best.

The moment we hit the ground, I could hear the cacophony of horses screaming in terror, Digger's frantic bark, and a sound like hundreds of humans gasping as one. We must have landed outside The Sphere, and dozens of space-stationers watched us tumble to the floor.

I assumed my hybrid energy-human form without delay. I could only hope nobody was perceptive enough to see or sense my semi-state body. I held Bella tight whispering into her ear, asking her to stand up calmly and don't betray my presence. She was in shock but managed to sit up – assisted by me. I searched for the horses and Digger. The animals seemed fine if a bit ruffled. The horses had bolted. Digger licked Bella's hand and whined. He sensed my presence as clearly as he could see me. I silently pleaded with him, not to give me away. It must have been less than 10 seconds before the gawking crowd parted for a young man darting toward Bella. I recognized him from her description. This man with a gait as powerful and smooth as a wildcat had to be Nick!

He never took his dark eyes off Bella, and the way his body tensed when he squatted next to her left no doubt that he was hopelessly in love with my wife. An unexpected wave of sorrow for the man washed over me. Because I knew, Nick would do anything for Bella! Pretend to be everything I was to Bella: her lover, her soul mate, and the father of her child. He had no choice, but to follow his heart.

I let go of Bella's hand and slipped away from the scene.

# 27 - Reluctant Lovers

I hadn't planned on picking Bella up from The Sphere that day. I was still annoyed with her for not getting in touch after our recent silly fallout – which wasn't my fault by the way! However, the sensation of loss and missing her guided my steps toward The Sphere. My stupid heart hurt! I furiously tried to rub the pain away with my fist.

Something was wrong! The moment I entered the deck, an eerie whistling sound filled the space - as if something came hurling through the air at high speed. I ducked. An array of flashing lights illuminated The Sphere – not unlike an electric storm. A shrill, high-pitched scream emanated from the inside. My heart froze. Bella's in danger! I started moving. The thrumming sound of blood rushing through my veins filled my head, and my lungs were filled to bursting with the breath I was holding. I locked my gaze on to The Sphere – just in time to see Bella flying through the air and hitting the ground. Hard! A layer of eerily shifting, dense air surrounded her like toxic vapors. I can't describe it any other way. Something was very wrong! The horses bolted. Digger whined and licked Bella's hand. She slumped on the ground. As if dead... Furious need to protect her propelled me forward. I sprinted, pushing people out of my way. When I reached her, she sat upright, cradling her head. I squatted down and grabbed her hands.

"What happened?"

She shook her head in disbelief, shock etched into her face. I tried to catch her glazed-over eyes, but she avoided my gaze. She was hiding something from me.

"Let me help you up. Or do you need to sit for a bit longer?" I had no idea what to do next. Emergencies involving people were uncommon on the space station. The most significant emergencies of recent years were down to minor damages and glitches within the space station's systems. Thanks to the ample amounts of redundancies, those couldn't be counted as real emergencies either. I wasn't sure if what I just witnessed counted as one or not.

"Are you hurt?" I tried again.

"Uhm... I don't think so... I'm okay... I think..." she stammered.

"Let's try to get you on your feet. Ready?"

Digger kept licking Bella's hand and my face. He was as confused as I was.

"Go get Silvercloud and Alchemist," Bella told him. He whined and trotted off to where the horses stood huddled together - heads held high, nostrils flared – but not without turning around occasionally looking in our direction.

I helped Bella to her feet, leading her toward the horses.

"Let's get them back to the stables first and then we'll get you home." I didn't have any better idea. 'She might tell me what happened, once we are in her quarters.'

The crowd dissipated as soon as we made our way out of the deck. Bella was shell-shocked. I held her firmly around her waist, and I could tell she needed my support, struggling to keep upright without it. Once we dropped the horses off, I decided it would be best to get her straight to the doctor. "Medical Office for you now," I told her.

"NO!" The intensity and panic in her voice startled me.

"You had a nasty fall. You might have internal injuries or..."

"I'm fine, Nick. I'm just a bit rattled. I need rest – that's all. I'll be fine after some sleep..."

Sleep? I raised my eyebrows. 'It's the middle of the bloody day. Why does she need sleep?' It wasn't right. Something was going on, and I was determined to find out what. I led Bella to her quarters, sat her down on her L-shaped Ottoman sofa, and got her a hot drink. "Something to calm your nerves and warm your hands. They are ice-cold." I tried to ease the tension, which stood between us like a solid brick wall. But she recoiled every time I addressed her. This wasn't good. I needed to make her see that she could trust me – as a friend, who was on her side – no questions asked! I squatted down in front of her. "Tell me what happened inside The Sphere, Bella. It must've been something extraordinary. The bloody thing literally kicked you out. It was ferocious, and I was afraid, you got hurt." I looked at her expectantly, giving her time to come up with an answer. The seconds ticked away; time kept dripping – thick, and gooey like treacle. I was starting to become impatient when she finally straightened herself and started talking to me.

* * *

There was no easy way to tell Nick. There was no sugarcoating the issue. Nothing I could do but be brutally honest and ask him for the biggest favor I ever had to ask. From anybody. My cheeks burned with shame and guilt. I would be asking too much of him! I balled up my fists so tightly, my nails digging painfully into my palms, yet I was unable to relax them. My jaws clenched tight, I had to breathe through my nose making it difficult to draw enough air. I prepared myself to find his eyes. I needed to see his reaction. I had to know. I lifted my head, forcing myself to look at him.

An old proverb says, 'You eat an elephant one bite at a time.' But sometimes it's necessary to swallow the whole beast in one bloody go!

"I can't use The Sphere for the next eight months." I enunciated my words, and I could see puzzlement splashed all over his handsome features.

"The Sphere expelled me, because... because I'm pregnant..."

It was out! The blankness on Nick's face gradually turned into realization.

"You are what?" He was dumbstruck. I understood him – I had been as well when Dylan told me.

"I am four weeks pregnant," I couldn't say it more clearly, "...and The Sphere won't allow both of us in. She made that perfectly clear. I thought I might get away with it for longer, but The Sphere disapproves."

He met my words with utter silence. For a long time, none of us spoke.

"Can you please talk to me?" I pleaded. "I could do with a friend right now..."

He drew a sharp breath.

"Is it Dylan's baby?"

"Yes, of course, it's Dylan's." His question annoyed me. What was he thinking? That I was sleeping around...? My cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"I don't understand... how can he be the father if he's just this... this figment of your imagination...?" He shook his head. "I don't get it. This is wrong!"

I knew how Nick was feeling. It was the first time on record an event inside The Sphere had a direct and profound effect on real life. It was inconceivable! The possible consequences momentarily set his head spinning.

"I don't understand it myself..." 'You damn liar!' I despised myself for betraying my friend. "I never thought about getting pregnant..." That much at least was true. "We tried to come up with an explanation... I don't know... since he never celebrated his 18th birthday, he never had a vasectomy. That's the best we could come up with... Shit! I feel so stupid and so awful and so over-the-moon about the baby at the same time..." A smile crept onto my face, dragging the corners of my mouth upward and putting a sparkle in my eyes.

* * *

"How are you going to explain this to the Council?" I asked her. "How is this going to affect other users of The Sphere? The Council might ban people from using The Sphere after this... this incident..." I felt like a selfish bastard the second I voiced my concerns. This wasn't about me! I needed to focus on how to support Bella before I could come up with a way to prevent the Council from going overboard. I took a deep breath, found the calm center inside myself, and reached out to her.

"How can I help you? I know it's hard to think I can help at all, but I promise you, I'll do anything to help and alleviate the turmoil and confusion this might cause on the station." I looked at her expectantly. Deep in thought, she worried her lower lip with her teeth. She was in a near-trance-like state, the way she sat motionless, her senses turned inwards, the world - including myself – shut out.

* * *

Nick had just thrown me a much-needed lifeline. He was worried my confession about Dylan would push the Council into action, and he feared they might prohibit sphere-users from enjoying the sanctuary. Keeping Dylan's existence a secret was paramount to keeping The Sphere open for business. I still needed to plant the seed of accepting fatherhood in Nick's mind.

"I don't know how to throw the Council off Dylan's scent..." I said. "I'd have to pull a father out of my sleeve!" I held my breath, willing Nick to take the bait.

His jaws clenched, his fists tightened. I watched his inner battle as pain and shock gradually worked their way through his system. When he opened his eyes again he said, "Let's pretend I'm the father!"

* * *

I heard me say those words, not comprehending how such a flood of stupidity could leave my mouth. 'She won't want that!' All of a sudden, I felt more anxious about Bella's imminent rejection than about the full implications of my offer.

"You would do that for me...?" a small voice emanated from her face which was otherwise all eyes and tears.

"Sure." I half-shrugged my shoulders, pretending it was no big deal. "It'd be a more likely explanation for the space-stationers... a lot of them already think we are a couple..." I tried to fake a lighthearted laugh but failed miserably.

She threw her arms around my neck and laughed and cried - all at the same time. I didn't expect that reaction.

"Oh thank you, Nick! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" she sobbed. "It'll keep The Sphere out of the Council's scrutiny," she added, and you'll be able to go to Lake Huron every day as usual.

"Well..." I growled, "...now we have to come up with a plausible scenario of why my vasectomy failed."

* * *

"I'll go to the library and research vasectomy failures right away!" I promised, feeling every inch the manipulative bitch I was.

# 28 - Dylan & The Space Station

After our forced exit, I was stuck on the space station for the next eight months. Not a position I wanted to be in! 15 minutes into the ordeal and the oppressiveness of the confined space was already starting to take its toll. I had to concentrate hard on maintaining my semi-form - half energy, half human. If I got the delicate balance wrong... A knot forged of molten fear manifested inside my half-human stomach. Either a space-stationer or a fellow singular entity could detect me. "This will be so much fun. NOT..." I grumbled.

Finding Bella's quarters was easy. I picked up the prominent traces of her signature highlighting the way. I tunneled through the nano-steel door of her bedroom, where I waited for her, blending into her bed, invisible for any human, and at the same time well concealed from the senses of any singular entity. When Bella finally arrived with Nick in tow, I eavesdropped on their conversation. Bella naturally directed the dialogue! I admired the ease with which she manipulated Nick, guiding him toward offering precisely the solution, she and I had favored from the onset: Nick pretending to be Mona's father.

Nick was easy prey. In his infatuation with Bella, she could have made him do absolutely anything for her. No questions asked.

I made a mental note to never underestimate Nick as a serious contender for Bella's love and affection. He was handsome, intelligent, and he was in love with her. He would fight hard and dirty to win her heart. Do anything to gain her trust and love. White-hot pokers of jealousy stabbed me in the gut! I had to remind myself, I was her husband, and it was my baby she was expecting. And Nick knew it as well.

After less than an hour of being human, I felt drained and exhausted. 'How would I manage eight months without losing it?' As soon as Nick walked out the door, Bella collapsed against the wall behind her. She exhaled sharply, her eyes closed, lips pressed together. The knotted tension in her now acrid core pulsed irritably, and I wanted nothing more than to take the strain away. I morphed into my full human form and touched her upper arm.

"I'm here, baby. Time to relax," I said.

She almost jumped out of her skin, and only my quick reflexes allowed me to stifle her scream. Now – that would have gotten us some attention for sure!

"But how... how... why are you here?"

"I had to get you out of The Sphere... remember?"

"Vaguely... I remember everything shaking. Our reality dissolving... of some sort... and..." She frowned, struggling to recall the finer details of the event. "I think I hit the ground... hard... and then... Nick came and helped me get up."

"I carried you out of The Sphere. We had to jump. And yes – we hit the ground harder than I intended to. We didn't have a choice." I ran my fingers across her knotted brows. "I cleared the scene, let Nick take over. I thought it'd be better if you didn't betray my existence in the station – however unintentional... he did a good job looking after you..." I clenched my teeth. My praise for Nick sounded lame.

Bella gave me an incredulous look and half-giggled. "Who are you trying to fool, Dylan?" Then she abruptly turned away, avoiding my gaze. "I am so ashamed of myself," she moaned. "I hate that you had to witness how I manipulated Nick. I'm a right bitch for doing this to him..."

"You have no choice," I reassured her. "This was our plan all along, and you were impressive. You didn't plan half of what you did. You improvised out of sheer need, and I admire you for that. It wasn't easy for you." I took a fortifying breath. "So no – you aren't a bitch or manipulative - because this is not your true nature. And you wouldn't have done it if you could have avoided it."

"Nice try, Dylan! But your absolution doesn't make me feel any better. I wish we didn't have to involve Nick in any of this!"

"He got involved already. He is our warp engineer after all. And he will be part of the journey to Earth. He wouldn't miss this chance for anything in the universe."

Bella sighed deeply. "If we ever get the go-ahead for this endeavor. The moment we declare the pregnancy, Nick and I will become the freak-show of the space station!"

"Or a couple who is about to embark on something incredibly new and brave. Something nobody has experienced in thousands of years. Something so natural, it's almost incomprehensible, how people could have stopped being pregnant and giving birth." I grabbed her shoulders, short of shaking her. "This realization, this momentum is what we need to seize, fortify, and enhance. We need to use it to get 'project spaceship' off the ground. This is the spirit of brave explorers; the inherent spirit of humankind – however long-lost and buried. The story of how you and Nick come along and rediscover it is incredible. It's the stuff of myth and lore!" I tried my best to enthuse her.

She looked at me in complete and utter awe. "You just added 'PR-prophet' to your job description," she said. "It's brilliant. I think we can sell this story... we have to sell it to the people," she added. "I need to talk to Nick!" She swung her legs off the bed, but I held her back.

"Mmm... first I want to make sure you don't forget who your true husband is!"

She giggled when I threw her back onto the bed.

"How could I...?"

Bella left to do some research in the library and talk to Nick. Entrusted to my own devices, I deflated. Her absence sucked all that was bearable out of this confinement. I took a deep, shuddering breath, juggling the meager energy flows surrounding me, trying to balance myself. This was an odd experience. The space station's recycled energy swirls passed through my semi-human form, and their staleness hit me like a club. 'This is what a human must feel like inside a sewer!' Disgust grabbed me by the neck, its filthy touch sending waves of nausea roiling through my system. How was I ever going to survive eight months of this? I had no idea!

I decided to visit the horses. My animal friends would be able to recognize me even in my unfamiliar semi-form. I figured I needed as much distraction as possible to get me through months of torturous existence inside this hellhole.

I longed for the endless expanse of the universe! Covered in cold sweat, my skin uncomfortably clammy, I felt dirty and disgusting. I longed for a swim in our lake, and the cool shades of the forest, and the open fields surrounding our house in British Columbia. I couldn't wait to be there, and I made a promise to myself: that – once the journey to Earth was over - I would never allow myself to get trapped inside a tin can ever again. I shuddered. All the years of traveling ahead of us! For the first time in 15 billion years, I wanted to crumble... after less than three hours of confinement!

After spending time with the horses, I made my way to the library to find some distraction there. Maybe I could help drive the warp engine design forward. I needed to be cautious how to go about it because Nick didn't know I was real and on board the space station. As much as I wanted to go full steam ahead, I couldn't risk raising Nick's suspicion. But as soon as I saw Bella and Nick in the library, heads stuck together, poring over some files, I couldn't stand watching them. Too much!

I fled the library and retreated to our quarters where I tried to wash away the filth and grime with the sterile, flat water which had been recycled and stripped of all its character a million times over. It wasn't any different from rolling in mud. The shower only made me crave the clean, coolness of our lake more. I clenched my teeth, willing myself to endure it. It would take a while to adjust, but I was determined to get used to it. It was early evening, but I didn't want to wait up for Bella and went straight to bed. I needed rest and time to calibrate my signature to the space station. The bed felt familiar enough, my wife's residual energy and scent saturating the sheets. A small comfort. I inhaled deeply before drifting in and out of fitful sleep.

Bella arrived home late, and I briefly surfaced from my tormented dreams, managing to acknowledge her. And although I was preoccupied with my own discomfort, I could feel tension and stress disturbing the serenity of her aura. I should've gotten up to comfort her, ask about her afternoon. But I couldn't muster the strength. I was nailed to the bed by forces beyond my powers, unable to lift as much as a finger. "Just let me sleep it off, please..." I groaned. Her presence brought instant relief to my tortured self when she slipped under the duvet next to me. Her familiar energy flooded over me in cooling waves and gentle stroking ripples. I pulled her toward me, hugging her tight. "I love you," I murmured before I drifted back to sleep.

# 29 - Suffering

Dylan was still holding on to me like a drowning man when I opened my eyes the next morning. His chest against my back was clammy, his breathing shallow and labored.

"Dylan...?" I nudged him to check if he was awake. No response. I extricated myself from his grasp to take a shower. It didn't take me more than 10 minutes, but by the time I came back, his body had turned into a sizzling furnace, giving off far too much heat for a human to bear.

"Dylan!" I shook him. More urgently now. "Wake up, baby. You are burning up. Please, come under the shower with me?" I needed to cool him down. I tugged frantically at the duvet, which he'd draped tightly around his shivering body. 'Why's he shivering?' I remember thinking. 'He's burning up, but his body behaves as if he is cold.' I never had a fever before. Illness – especially infections caused by microbes or viruses hadn't been an issue on the space station for thousands of years. I was frantic! I didn't know what to do.

He groaned when I shook him again. "Bella, please... leave me. Can't get up..." He winced; even talking was a chore for him.

"I want to help you, Dylan. Tell me: what do I need to do to help you?"

He slurred his speech in incomplete sentences, barely audible, "Leave me... alone... need to synchronize... with station... harder than expected. ...be fine..."

"How long?" I asked.

"Two days, three at the most."

Reluctantly I left his side to get ready to walk to the library. I had to go before Nick would come to find me!

"I'm meeting Nick this morning," I filled him in. "We'll need to fine-tune our story about the pregnancy and the 'failed' vasectomy. I'll be home around lunchtime and fake feeling unwell, so I won't have to go inside The Sphere. Nick will take the horses and Digger. I'll try to drag out my visit to the doctor as long as possible to give you enough time to recover. I don't want to put you under the pressure of having to change your forms too often when it causes you so much suffering." I dropped down next to him and wiped the sweaty strands of long hair out of his face. He was burning up, but at the same time, his teeth chattered uncontrollably. I hated leaving him alone. "Look after yourself," I whispered. I left a large glass of water and some bread next to his bed.

Nick was already at the library. I apologized for being late.

He waved it off. "How are you today?" he asked me instead. Concern colored the tone of his voice. The deep, dark pools of his eyes invited me to drown in them. And I could've just given in to his magnetic pull and kiss him. That wasn't an option, of course! Nevertheless, I briefly indulged in the longing for his embrace.

"Not bad... and yourself?" I tried to infuse some distance into my tone, but I don't think I did a convincing job.

"Well – I am... how can I say?" he chuckled. "I've never been a parent before. I'm excited, I guess. Scared occasionally, but over the moon for most of the time."

I rewarded him with a warm smile.

"I'm not looking forward to facing the Council," he added. "But that's one to worry about later." He shrugged his shoulders as if to shake of a myriad of creepy-crawlies.

"Bloody Council..." I commented. "They will rip us apart and make our lives hell if we let them. Listen – I had time to think. Here is an idea." Then I conveyed Dylan's publicity stunt to him. "What do you say?" I asked, unsure of whether he liked it or not.

"I think it's brilliant, Bella. With all the research you did on stagnancy and boredom and their effect on the human mind, we'll be able to shake this place up and get people on board. Get their support! Convince them to help us spread the pioneering spirit throughout the station!" He dazzled me with a 1,000 megawatt smile. "And we won't stop before we have every single space-stationer in our corner!" He laughed out loud, grabbed me around the waist, and swung me around. "I love your ideas, Bella!" His face! So full of admiration and love and enthusiasm.

And then there's me: a cheat and traitor. My heart twisted, sending agonizing pain through my chest.

We worked until midday before Nick's shift started. We got a lot done in those few hours: discussed our approach to the medical profession for starters. After a bit of research on the matter, it turned out it wasn't all that uncommon for a vasectomy to be unsuccessful. Failure rates could be as high as 0.025 percent. One in 4,000! Statistically, the space station was well overdue! There would be scrutiny. And more likely than not an investigation: whether I may have had sex with an under-aged, not yet sterilized youth. They had no reason to assume Nick was the only one I... Yikes! I had to diffuse any such allegations, should they come my way!

The worst-case scenario? A paternity test to verify Nick's fatherhood. But I might even be able to pull that one off since I could get a DNA sample from Dylan and pass it as Nick's. Although - I wasn't sure, what Dylan's DNA looked like compared to human genetic material. DNA sampling... one to best avoid.

I abhorred putting Nick into a position of public scrutiny, certain resentment, and potential hate. On the surface, we were an open and well-grounded society; a façade easy to maintain since the boat never got rocked. Nobody ever stepped out of line – mainly because there was nowhere to go to! Mona had every potential to become the little snowflake, which could set off a devastating avalanche. Social stability is a fickle thing!

Later that afternoon, I found Dylan still balled up in bed. He gripped the duvet so hard his knuckles stood out deadly pale. Ashen face. Waxy skin. The sweating and shivering had stopped, but it was more a sign of his body running out of resources rather than improvement.

"Let me help you up and get a shower. It'll make you feel better." All I wanted to do was to throw the sweat-soaked, clammy bedding into the recycler and get things freshened up. The place reeked!

"...can't stand the water..." he muttered "...it's dead... killing me!" He retched.

It clicked! "Dylan – of course, it's dead water... it has been recycled for millennia... but, baby – you can ask the shower to dispense whatever water you like. You don't have to put up with the nondescript swill building its base." I wanted to kick myself for not pointing this out to him earlier! I could've saved him a lot of distress. "Please, baby, take a nice shower with water from our lake." I smiled at him. "And I'll get us some fresh bedding... and something to eat... you must be starving." I cast a quick glance at the untouched bread next to his bed.

Somehow, I managed to manhandle Dylan into the bathroom and help him start a cooling shower with water from our lake in British Columbia. He crouched in the shower – knees tucked into his chest, back resting against the wall, head thrown back. He visibly relaxed; life flooding back into his washed out features and drained muscles. What a relief! Once satisfied that he wouldn't drown under the steady spray, I went to remove the sweat-soaked sheets. The mattress was the only item staying. A gauze-thin layer of highly absorbent material, which I would replace – like the rest of the bedding – protected it. I threw everything into the recycler and generated a set of Egyptian cotton sheets to allow Dylan to rest easy.

It took almost an hour before he emerged from the bathroom, naked, refreshed, and drop dead gorgeous; a smile plastered across his handsome face.

"I feel a million times better."

"I'm such an idiot, baby. I didn't think! I should've told you straight away, you have a choice of water! I'm so sorry..." I reached up to smooth wet strands of hair back from his forehead. "You look so much better. I was afraid you might not be able to stay here with me for eight months!" I flew into his arms. He caught me, but I it cost him some effort. He stumbled.

"Sorry – I wasn't aware how weak you still are..."

"Never too weak to catch my wife." He was putting on a brave face.

"Let's eat. I'm starving... I had nothing all day, and I think Mona started to complain awhile ago." I patted my still-flat abdomen.

We sat down at the small oval table in front of the massive panoramic wall window, which overlooked the same 360 degrees of the never changing universe outside. When we sat down, the window was facing in the general direction of Earth.

"This is where we will be heading to in a few years' time," I said confidently, waving my fork at the window. An icy hand dragged its bony fingers down my spine. All the hurdles and pitfalls ahead!

Dylan reached across the table to take my free hand. "We will make our dream come through," he said. "...and we will work hard for it."

We finished our meal in silence.

# 30 - Obstacles

Ah, the relief! Cool, clean lake water washing over me! Energizing me instead of stripping off my life force the way the non-enhanced, recycled liquid did.

I was 40 hours into my space station ordeal and feeling much better. It was hard to rearrange and synchronize my patterns with the simple bland ones prevailing on the station. They only provided the bare minimum of what I needed to survive without ending up malnourished. I explained all of this to Bella, but she was worried nevertheless. As much as I wanted to: I couldn't speed up my recovery. I needed time to adjust.

After our meal, we slouched on the big Ottoman with more than enough space for two people. Bella held me, my head resting in her lap, running her fingers through my hair. Ah! Her touch sent delicious currents tingling through every single cell of my human body, and I immersed myself in the pleasure, drifting toward sleep. Bella was working on the 'sales pitch' for project spaceship. To present to the Council, once we conceived the warp engine in principle. I could sense her mind working, its currents swiftly swirling backward and forward, splitting, redirecting, regrouping, and merging into one beautiful image: A society, which takes its destiny into its own hands, regains control, succeeds to evolve and carries itself with pride through the universe until the end of time.

"...beautiful..." I murmured, not even realizing I spoke.

"What are you saying...?" Her gentle fingers still running over my scalp.

"This picture you just painted... this beautiful, open, evolved society in control of its own destiny."

"Hang on..." Excitement swung in her voice. "Did you just read my mind...?"

Too drowsy to answer coherently I said, "It's not like that... I only got a glimpse of a picture... it was nothing, really." '...a very clear glimpse of a picture,' I added in my mind. I felt a guilty pang for intruding on her privacy. I didn't want to freak her out.

"You're amazing, Dylan!" She sat upright, looking down on me from her sitting position. "Will there ever be a time when you cease to surprise me...?"

"I hope not," I replied. "But you need to let me know if I become overbearing. I know you humans like a bit of privacy... and the last thing you want is a nosy alien husband invading your thoughts."

She stroked my arm, which lay across her thighs and sighed. "I'm not bothered, Dylan. It might've freaked me out before. But with you, it's okay. I'm more concerned you'll learn a lot of unpleasant things about me. And I couldn't stand losing your love and respect, because you find out, I'm a bitch at heart and you hate me."

Did I know about her secret hankering for Nick? Of course, I did! But not because I eavesdropped on her thoughts. It was plainly written all over her face. Most of her thoughts are. I knew she loved me. But I would need to work hard to keep it that way. I feared being weak, needy, and intrusive might drive her away - right into Nick's arms! I had to get a grip on myself! I wasn't going to lose her because I couldn't keep my jealousy and insecurity under control. Was this struggle the price I had to pay for being human? I exhaled sharply and kissed my wife good night. I looked forward to some much-needed sleep. Still - I felt well enough to entertain the thought of sex. Tomorrow would be an entirely new beginning!

I woke early - Bella's sunlight clock setting had not yet cast the first glimpses of dawn over our bedroom. I lay on my back, inhaling the now familiar, unidimensional air of the space station. I promised myself I would spice it up. With thunderstorm rolling down the mountainside. With the wind rushing through the forest. With the pulsing melody of a twin quasar. My energy patterns were in sync with the station, their bleakness not bothering me any longer. Still – I couldn't wait to re-tune them to the symphony the universe held in store for me. I might have felt like a thirsty man in the middle of the desert, but I knew I would soon be drowning in the bounty of the endless powerful flows, which surround us. I sneaked out of bed to get us some coffee.

Humming a melody I didn't recognize, I walked past Bella's data-skin and paperwork. A data-skin, I learned previously, is a thin, flexible device to compute and process digital data. It had been developed and advanced from the now redundant supra- and nano-computers and allows data acquisition and processing at super high speed, avoiding the delay due to bottlenecks in the data flow itself. I have little use for such technology myself – my mental arithmetic is spot-on. But I learned that humans have a need to write down concepts, sketch prototypes, and draw solutions. The data-skin displayed an array of outdated galactic maps, not much more than rudimentary sketches of the five billion light-year stretch of the universe between Δ9 and Earth. A feeling of unease invaded me the second I saw them. I needed to talk to Bella. After breakfast!

As soon as the luxurious scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the living room, it sneaked into Bella's nose, where it initiated the process of waking her up. Works better than any sunlight clock! Impressive stuff!

Pushing the outdated star charts from the forefront of my mind, I sat down on the bed to fully wake my wife with a kiss.

"Mhm... I could get used to this, you know..." Sleepily, eyes still shut against the increasing amounts of artificial daylight, she stretched languidly, unashamedly luxuriating in my company - her body begging me to touch her.

"I didn't know being human could be so much fun," I said.

"Better get used to it, my love!" she chirped and sat up, gratefully taking one of the steaming mugs I offered her. She cradled it in both her hands and blew its surface before taking an indulgent first sip. "Perfect," she sighed. Then she locked eyes with me. "I'm glad to see you are obviously feeling much better today."

"Good as new," I replied. "Re-tuned, re-synced, and getting adapted to life in the energetic abyss of a space station." I grimaced.

She looked at me, compassion oozing from her eyes. "That bad...?"

"Worse!" I shuddered involuntarily. "But I can live with it... for now... and it'll be a good incentive to pull all the stops to get away from here and on our way to Earth."

She pulled me toward her until our foreheads touched and tenderly rolled her head against mine. I knew I couldn't fool her. There was no hiding my discomfort and aversion to the environment of the space station.

"By the way..." I was trying to sound casual. "I saw the star charts on the table. Any historical research you're doing. If so, I'd be glad to help. I do pride myself on a bit of knowledge on the history of the universe."

"Historical... what do you mean?" She looked confused. "Those maps are based on the most up to date measurements of this region. They are barely two months old."

I cringed. This was far worse than I'd feared. I took a long, deep breath, bracing myself to break the news. "In parts, those maps are fairly accurate – especially the regions closest to the space station, which can be observed in near real time. And Earth's solar system is pretty much spot on too. Not much has changed there in the past 4,500 years. However, the sectors further away..."

Bella jumped out of bed, threw on a t-shirt and shorts, and walked over to the table.

"I'm talking about the regions between 2 and 3.5 billion light-years as seen from the space station..." I joined her at the table. "These regions here are mapped out wrong. They've not resembled anything like this," I stabbed the map with my index finger, "in over two billion years." I grabbed one of the maps and started to sketch my knowledge onto it. "Here... right in the path between the space station and Earth..." I added a massive three-dimensional blob. "This is one of the six big dark matter oceans of the universe. It blocks the direct path between Earth and the space station. We will have to cross it over a distance of 5.5 million light-years." I took a deep breath before I continued. "There is no way around it without adding years of travel time to the journey. We'll have to dive right into it! And it'll be the ride from hell at best – but we might get swallowed up and never reappear... I just don't know..." I raked my fingers through my hair and drew another deep breath.

She looked at me. Earnestly, but not perturbed. "Excellent! See, that's why we have you on board 'project spaceship.' You're the chief navigator! You'll be able to draw accurate maps and guide us through the unknown. No problem! We don't even need those!" She grabbed the data-skin and erased the flawed maps with a swipe of her finger. She then turned around, looked at me triumphantly, rubbed her hands, and marched off toward our bedroom, leaving me standing with my right hand still lifted, index finger pointing forward. "...I wasn't quite finished yet..." was all I could say. But she didn't hear me, of course.

# 31 - Confessions

Anger flared and deflated as Dylan literally ripped apart the maps Nick and I had put together so diligently. I had to give it to him, though: Dylan knew his stuff, and his knowledge made him indispensable for our mission. 'Damn! He's indispensable to me!' I bristled. 'I'm not the bloody project commander! First of all, I am Bella. And I want to live a life with my family!' I stormed off toward the bedroom. I should have marched in the other direction! Now I could only go as far as the bathroom with nowhere else to go. I immediately felt foolish and regretted being snide with Dylan. It wasn't his fault Nick and I drew the maps wrong. I needed to get to grips with my multiple roles in this situation: Lover, wife, mother-to-be, project manager, schemer... You name it! The magnitude of our endeavor left me exhausted and utterly unhappy in my own skin.

I forced myself to relax my shoulders and arms, which hung stiffly at my side and opened the fists, which I clenched so tightly, it hurt. I wiggled my jaw, which I'd clenched even tighter and then turned around to make my way back into the living room.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have walked off like this. I'm just so... so... disappointed with this setback." I shrugged my shoulders. Defeated by the unbearable weight of responsibilities on my shoulders and close to bawling.

"All is not lost. It will require some extra planning and contingencies. We can still do it... I'm sure."

I somehow got the impression, Dylan wasn't all that sure.

"Listen. I need to go. Nick's waiting for me. Feel free to join, but stay hidden." I winked. "I'll have to tell Nick about the maps at some point, but I'll drag it out until after I can use The Sphere again. I wouldn't otherwise know how to explain to Nick where my insight stems from. I don't think there will be a real problem. The maps are not our most immediate concern, and I already hinted, we'd be better off to use a more recent mapping before we set off." The fact that everything started to collapse onto me all at once was overwhelming. I kissed Dylan (long and hungry!) before I stepped purposefully through the front door. I directed my gaze to the right. The entrance door to my parents' living unit sparked another bout of guilt. I needed to see them soon. I knew my mum was worried, and so was my dad. I used to be in touch every day. I had to visit them later in the afternoon, or they would come and visit me! Under the prevailing circumstances, this was best to avoid.

Nick was busy scanning through articles when I arrived at the library.

"This is interesting," he introduced the subject. "James Neilor and his group at the IASA published a paper in 2205, shortly after the first journey through wormhole Δ9. They were speculating about traveling through artificial wormholes. But not only that! They laid a solid foundation based on previous research on how to achieve this technically. This is a seminal piece of research for us!"

The find excited Nick! I couldn't quite share his enthusiasm. I felt exhausted, and all I wanted to do was collapse into my bed, duvet pulled over my head, and sleep for the rest of my life. I didn't want to deal with anything – be it tiny space station or infinite universe – not at the moment.

"You look pale... you okay?" Nick managed to surface long enough from his wormhole-high to realize my mind wasn't on the subject at all.

"Just tired," I said. "Pregnancy sucks." I gave him a wry smile. '...and everything else too.' I felt glum.

Then I pulled myself together with superhuman strength and sat down next to him. "So – talk me through it then." I managed to drag myself back into project manager mode for the remainder of the morning until Nick headed off to Engineering. To my great dismay, I wasn't quite off the hook yet, because Barnes decided to swing by. His booming presence filled the room. 'Endless Universe,' I pleaded, 'please give me a break...' However hard - I managed to maintain a neutral façade.

Barnes rubbed his hands together, eagerly scanning the files and maps strewn all over the desk and the floor.

"Ye found anything useful...?" He looked at me expectantly. He reminded me of myself at the age of five, when all I wanted to do was to go inside The Sphere and explore for real, what I could otherwise only experience second hand by reading books and watching holos. Barnes fidgeted, unable to stand still. I could see his mind racing with questions I knew I had no answers to.

"So – what have the pair of you been up to then?" he made another advance.

Tenacity - I had to give him 10 out of 10! I waved my hands vaguely and managed to strike a cheerful tone. "Oh, believe me, Barnes. You don't want to know..." I infused a hint of coy giggle into my voice and sent a mischievous grin his way. 'I'm laying the foundation for more deceit here.' By acting as I did, I knew I would plant the idea in Barnes's head, that Nick and I were an item. The suggestion that Nick and I... I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, and my blush added to the insinuation of our entangled bodies locked into a steamy kiss...

Well, it was what my friend Barnes wanted to believe anyway. I did make sure, however, to reinforce his belief along the way.

How long would I have to drag this out before I could allow the doctors to diagnose my pregnancy? The longer, the better! There would be less time for resenting and opposing parties to make their views heard. I, on the other hand, was planning to have all my arguments lined up for the moment Nick and I came out as parents and introduced the plan for making the journey back to Earth. We needed to orchestrate this show faultlessly, and we had no time to lose in its preparation. I cast an obvious glance at my wrist-timer. "Time to go-ho..." I chirped. "Nick's waiting for me..." I let this statement hang in mid-air. A bait for Barnes to take and run with it.

"Aw well, lass... I'll leave ye to it then..." He gave me a conspiratorial wink before he turned around to leave the library. Just when he was about to step through the half-opened door, he turned around and said with an approving nod, "You and Nick make a great pair, ye do!"

As soon as the door hissed close behind him, my shaky legs gave way, and I had to sit down. I gulped a glass of water – sheer desperation washing over me. Hot and cold shivers assaulted me, mingling, entangling, swirling, de-tangling again and flowing off, just to circle me and repeatedly strike with an increasing vengeance. I was obviously going insane I self-diagnosed with the calm detachment, characteristic for a madwoman. I needed an anchor, something to ground me if I wanted to see this through. I pushed off the chair and walked towards my parents' quarters. If anybody could help me without judging, it was my mum.

I stepped through my parents' front door, my mind made up: to tell my mum and dad the same story I served up to Nick. There was no point in putting my parents in danger by telling them the truth about Dylan's alien nature. The story as it stood was unbelievable enough.

To include my parents would also make my life easier concerning Nick. They would know about our scam, and so we wouldn't have to pretend to be lovers in front of my family. I could only keep my sanity by creating a safe space where I was allowed to be myself without having to pretend more than the absolutely necessary. I was determined to maintain as much of my integrity as possible under the circumstances.

"Mum... I need to talk to you!" I marched into the front room where my mother was reading a book. We are historians – we still read books. Of course, they weren't originals but created by our replicators to the requested specifications. Once read, we feed them back into the recycling process. Like everything else on the station that either reaches the end of its life cycle or its usefulness. We haven't breathed fresh air in thousands of years. We haven't had anything coming in from outside the station since the arrival of The Sphere. Now there was Dylan, of course. I wasn't sure if he counted as material addition – he's an energy-being after all... at least in his natural form. My head started to throb. Confusion and weakness ruled over me once again, and I had to sit down. "I could do with a cup of coffee, Mum." My voice sounded meek even to myself. "Where's Dad?" I swallowed convulsively. I had to let them both in. I couldn't possibly ask my mum to keep a secret of such magnitude. Besides – I wouldn't be able to hide the baby from her grandfather if I wanted to. 'Might as well at least try to explain myself.' I felt bitter.

Mum called my dad, then fetched me a cup of coffee, and started to fuss about with some framed pictures of me when I was little. Dad, delighted to see me, enveloped me in his trademark bear hug and smacked a kiss on each of my cheeks.

"Mum, Dad... please... sit down... there's something I need to tell you." I straightened my shoulders in resolve and took a deep breath. I should have felt relieved, liberated by getting the burdensome secret off my chest. But I felt awful. I wasn't serving up the full truth, and I couldn't kid my conscious mind into believing for even one second that this was okay. Knowing the root cause of my discomfort lay on my bed only a few meters away didn't help matters either.

"Spit it out then," Dad prompted me.

And so I did.

My parents were shocked. While they sat on opposite ends of the luxurious settee at the beginning of my story, they'd moved closer together during my confession until they sat supporting each other, clasping hands. I was grateful they didn't interrupt me once. I doubt I would have found the courage to continue.

"So... this... erm..." Dad cleared his throat.

"Dylan – his name is Dylan..." I helped him out.

"Dylan... quite... so this Dylan, you and he... ah... married... inside The Sphere...?"

"We did, Dad." I managed a smile – to reassure them I was indeed happy with my husband.

"So... he is... I don't understand how... he is the father of this child... of..." Dad's features softened. "...our grandchild...?" He squeezed my mum's hands. She jerked as if he'd jump-started her.

"Please, Mum? ...say something..." I leaned forward and touched her hand. She snatched it away as if my touch burnt her. My heart twisted with pain.

"My daughter..." She lifted her head and looked right through me. Her gaze was empty, far away. "How can you of all people, get involved with a... filthy fantasy?"

'Hang on!' Something was fatally wrong here. 'Did she just call her son-in-law a 'filthy fantasy'...?' My mum was supposed to support me!

"Mum!" I tried to find a compromise between being assertive and understanding. "Dylan is the best person I've ever met. He and I – we are in love, and he would do anything to meet you!"

"Enough!" my mother's voice cut through my sentence like a two-edged steel knife.

"Of course he is perfect!" her voice dripped with derision. "I'm sure you made him just right for you!" She looked at me from eyes so cold and hard my insides turned to ice.

"Darling... please..." Dad tried to calm her down, but my mum had already relegated him to being an onlooker rather than a participant in this conversation. At that moment in time, he had nothing to say. "And this has been going on for two years, TWO YEARS...!" Her voice was shrill and on the verge of tilting.

Bottomless sadness grabbed hold of me. My mother was angry, hurt, and - at that moment – beyond unreasonable. She turned my relationship with Dylan around and made it out to be something ugly and unsavory.

"Mum, please!" I managed to infuse tempered steel into my voice. "This has nothing to do with you or Dad. This is..."

"Oh, sure! You make us grandparents, and you think this has nothing to do with us? And Nick? You drag him into this as well! YOU SELFISH B...!" She slapped her hands over her mouth. Her eyes wide with shock. She broke down in tears before she could finish her insult. Her rigid body deflated in front of my eyes, and all that remained of my mum was a bundle of sorrow and grief.

"She will come around, Bella. She always does..." Dad mechanically patted my hand. "Go... go now... I have to look after your mother and make sure she is okay..." He pushed me gently but urgently towards the front door.

'Best make sure she does nothing stupid and report me to the authorities!' I felt abandoned and scared when I left my parents' quarters.

Dylan took me into a tight embrace as soon as I entered our living room.

"I heard everything," he whispered into my hair. "I'm so sorry, your mum can't be happy for you right now." He rocked me in his arms. "She'll come to accept the fact, though. It was the initial shock speaking." Then he grinned and looked at me. "She has some fight your mother... how do they say? Like mother like daughter."

"I could kick her right now," I grumbled. "I could kick myself! I should have better judgment. I should know my mother better... I never expected her to... freak out." I swallowed back the bile starting to surge in my throat. I could feel a pounding headache coming on.

"You are not well. Lie down. I'll get you a hot drink."

I glared at him. I was feeling rebellious against all reason. Most of all – I had nothing to rebel against; least of all Dylan!

"I can't rest now!" I yelled. "And I don't want a hot drink, and I don't want to calm down!" I squared my shoulders. "I need to make sure to have some damage control measures in place – in case my mother kicks off..." I didn't want to think about it, but I had to force myself to consider all eventualities. This was stupid... this should have been the 'easy confession'... to my family - the people who are my lifeline, my phalanx against all evil. Eternal Universe! How would the public react, if even my parents couldn't deal with my pregnancy? This wasn't going well; not well at all! I was pacing the room, circling Dylan, who stood in the middle, following me with his eyes.

"You are not helping," I said. I was unfair, but I also needed to vent at least some of my frustration.

His spine snapped straight, and his features hardened. "There is nothing much I can do, Bella. I don't even exist – remember? If you want help and solutions, you best go to Nick!" The way he clenched his fists and the strain on his face betrayed how hurt and angry he was.

"I'm sorry... again..." I bit my lip and looked at Dylan, crestfallen. "I'm not great at crisis management. Please, Dylan. Please don't give up on me. I need all the help I can get here; doesn't matter if it's from an imaginary friend or a real one."

"You are impossible!" He couldn't help but laugh at my lame joke.

# 32 - Danger

"I will never give up on you, Bella!"

I desperately needed to take control of this situation. It would be disastrous for everybody on this space station, should Bella's mum blow the whistle. The authorities would start to investigate 'the fantastic Dylan' inside The Sphere, and it would become impossible to conceal the events from the community of singular entities.

I had to prevent this at all costs!

This was not about the space-stationers taking The Sphere out of commission. This was about the survival of humankind in this quadrant of the universe! Mortal fear for my family's life grabbed hold of me with its ugly claws, dominating my thoughts and actions.

"Bella, we need to make sure, your mother doesn't breathe a word about my existence outside her own walls!" I grabbed her by her shoulders, holding her at arm's length. "This is important, Bella. You know of the consequences. Please – you need to go and talk sense into your mother, or..."

She broke my grip by jerking her arms upwards. "And how am I supposed to do this? She will not listen to me. You don't know my mum..." she sobbed.

"Mother Universe... why did you confess to her in the first place...? I would've begged you not to do it, had I known..."

"That's why I didn't ask your opinion! I knew you wouldn't approve of it... and I'm so sorry I did..."

...more sobbing.

"Bella... look... the reason you need to keep me a secret from anyone but Nick is... I was... I am... concerned for everybody's safety. Your mother could upset the whole space station! The singular entities will notice... Bella... I would LOVE to meet your parents! I would love to meet Nick... I would love to explain to them who and what I am... but we can't... please... we can't without putting everybody in danger..."

I used my thumbs to brush the tears off her beautiful face. My heart twisted with her pain, my eyes stung with her tears, and my mind was groping for a solution. "Bella – please start trusting me. It hurts me so much that you don't."

She collapsed in uncontrollable sobs.

When I carried her to bed much later she was still crying. "We'll find a way, baby," I promised. "Your father will manage to talk some sense into your mother." I tucked her in and then sat with her, stroking her back in slow, soothing circles.

"I can't believe my mum stabbed me in the back!" she sobbed. "How could I've got it so wrong...? My dad was supposed to be the one to go ballistic... if..."

I could have pointed out again how irresponsible it had been to tell them in the first place - but I didn't. Bella had learned her lesson and regretted the mistake she made. All we could do was hope for the best and come up with appropriate damage control measures, should the need arise.

I could've kicked myself. Instead of staying in her quarters, I should have followed her around. Had I known about her intentions! I might have been able to stir her away from her plans. I needed to be on my toes all the time. Human logic was distinctly different from singular entity logic. I needed to anticipate things better, communicate more, and maintain better control over the whole situation.

'What a mess!' I was exhausted, but far from sleep. Time to design a mental map of the five billion light-year stretch of the universe between this space station and Earth! I would have to go on a reconnaissance mission just before the spaceship was due to launch. In the meantime my memory would do a good enough job.

The major obstacle was the massive ocean of dark matter obstructing our path. It was never one of my primary concerns. I could cross it, no problem. But I had no understanding of how it would interfere with a spaceship traveling at hyper-light-speed. I tried to remember the intricate energy flows of this ocean and the way they interacted with my currents in as much detail as I could. Just like the real oceans back on Earth, it contained eddies and swirls; it had tides, and storms battering its shores. Those forces worked on its body, stretch and thin it in some places, and compact it in others. None of it was static. Everything was in motion; flowing, perpetually changing. I needed to figure out how the shifting features of the dark matter would interact with the fabric of our spaceship.

Hours of pondering later, I had some vague ideas, but I knew the actual mode of interaction would mainly depend on the construction of the warp engine and the geometry of the ship itself. None of which we conceived so far! I would have to wait until I had more information. That - or start designing the damn thing myself! With all that was going on, my urge to leave the space station grew more pressing by the minute.

Bella was still dead to the world when I woke. The sunlight clock had only just started to initiate dawn. I felt ropy. Hot shower before or after sex?

The intercom jingled.

Early visitors!

Please, Universe! Don't let it be the authorities coming to question Bella!

I nudged my wife.

She groaned and woke with the second chime. She wiped her hands over her face as if to drive off sleep.

# 33 - The Ξιs

Half asleep, I pressed the intercom button. Dylan was wide awake, and I noticed the anxious lines on his face. I couldn't blame him. A visitor this early was highly unusual and given last night's events... I groaned.

My dad's face popped up on the intercom's holographic display.

"Bella, my darling... please, let us in. Your mother and I... we have to talk to you..."

I didn't expect them to ever talk to me again – not with the way my mother kicked me out last night. I winced at the thought of the argument as everything came flooding back into my awakening mind.

"Wait for me in the living room." I unlocked the door for them to come in. "I need to get dressed first..."

I staggered out of bed, too dazed still to walk in a straight line. I almost fell over when I bent down to kiss Dylan good morning.

"First things first..." I mumbled, helping myself to a much-needed mug of coffee, then I got a shower and dressed.

My parents could stew for a while.

I walked into the lounge barely 10 minutes later and found them nervously hovering in the middle of the room. My dad displaying hectic red blotches on his face, my mother puffy red-rimmed eyes.

I was in no mood for diplomacy, and so I went straight for the kill.

"Did you denounce me to the authorities then? Did they grant you 15 minutes to tell me yourself before they come and raid my quarters?"

It was a provocative thing to say, but I was angry at them for hanging me out in the cold last night.

"We are sorry, love..." my dad apologized.

I cut him off.

"You or she as well...?" I pointed at my mother.

My dad cast an awkward side glance at her.

"We both are, Bella..." she said, and then she came toward me, arms opened wide.

I couldn't help but fall into her embrace. I thought I would never feel her arms around me again after last night.

"I am so, so, so sorry. I can't tell you how much! I shouldn't have said what I said, and I was behaving selfishly when I should have protected you... can you forgive me... just this once?"

I sighed a deep sigh of relief, my knees buckled. "Of course, Mum. Of course, I forgive you."

We hugged and cried and laughed – all at the same time; our voices intermingled, our relief palpable. Everything would be all right!

The intercom chimed again.

It was Nick. Over the past days, he got into the habit of dropping in to pick me up whenever he could.

"Come in, Nick." I smiled at him warmly.

He looked somewhat puzzled, seeing my distressed parents standing in the middle of my front room.

"Good morning," he said. "It's nice to see you."

He didn't know my parents well, but I was sure, they would get to know each other a whole lot better soon.

"Can we sit down for a few minutes and talk?" I asked them. "Coffee anybody?"

Nick cautiously settled opposite my parents, looking at me expectantly. I plunked myself down right next to him.

"Well. There has been some development since last night..." I started. "I told my parents about..." I swallowed, "...about you and me..."

Nick lifted his eyebrows. "Everything...?" he probed.

"Everything!... And Nick: not the story we are going to tell the authorities. The true story... they know about Dylan..."

Nick exhaled sharply. "Holy Universe!" His gaze shifted from me to my mum and then to my dad. "And how do you feel about it?" he addressed my parents.

My mum kept her gaze directed to the floor, kneading her fingers.

"I was totally shocked..." she finally admitted. "I came close to blowing the whistle on my daughter..." Her face flushed with the color of shame. My mum looked at my dad, her expression grateful.

"If you hadn't held me back..." she let out a noise of disbelief. "I don't want to think about the consequences..." She shuddered.

"It's okay, Mum," I said and patted her hands. "Nothing has happened, and everything's going to be okay... Promised."

I felt far less confident than I came across, but I had to make it all look like plain sailing.

"About the other thing," Nick hesitated.

"I told them about the spaceship as well. We can speak openly."

He exhaled again. "Right – that's excellent. It feels good to be able to talk openly with somebody."

"What about your folks...?" my dad inquired.

"I don't think I'll tell them the full story... I mean – obviously they have to know about the baby and the spaceship, but I think Dylan would be too much to stomach for them... also..." he hesitated, "I also don't think..." He broke off and started again. "I wouldn't like to put myself up for their scrutiny... about why I would take up fatherhood for another man's baby..."

He blushed and looked away.

A black cloud of emotional turbulence descended on me. Nick just told me in his gentle, kind way, he felt like a fool and possibly worse. It was terrible.

"I'm sorry, Nick... if it's too much to ask, I can find another explanation... somehow..." I faltered.

"You know there are no other solutions, Bella. This is the price we have to pay for not compromising The Sphere. And however hard this will be, however foolish I will feel, I am willing to pay the price." He sounded brusque and jumped to his feet. "It's getting late. I need to leave. See you later...?" he turned to face me.

"Sure..." I replied lamely.

"I'll catch you in the library." Then he walked off.

I sank back into my chair.

"It's tough on him," my dad observed.

"Daaad, I know..." I felt petulant.

"He's doing you a massive favor," my mum piped up. "You should be grateful!" She glowered. "And show it more!"

'Ah – that's my mum taking control from the lofty heights of the moral high ground.'

I clenched my jaw and struggled for composure. "I know, Mum. And Nick knows I'm grateful for what he's doing. And I do tell him... I'm not a monster, Mum."

My mother's features softened. "I know, darling. I just want you to be safe and happy."

Now – that was an unexpected U-turn on the topic - since neither my safety nor my happiness seemed of any major concern last night. Resentment buoyed up inside me once again \- but I managed to keep it down.

"Right... Mum, Dad... I need to leave..." I cast a theatrical glance at my wrist-timer. "Like NOW!... I have a client meeting soon," I fibbed.

I ushered my parents out and speed-walked off in the direction of the library. Once I rounded the corner and my parents were out of sight, I slowed down and took the shortcut to Engineering where I hoped to find Nick.

He was working on a holographic printer designing an intricate piece of space sail, that was so strong, it could withstand a meteor impact, yet so thin, I could barely see it. Nick proudly presented the sheet of nothingness to me.

"This will be a vital piece of equipment on our journey," he whispered. "I need to come up with better design ideas, though. To make it even stronger so it can withstand the forces of traveling at hyper-light-speed."

"I'm sure you are doing a great job." I praised him. In reality, I wasn't even interested. Fingers crossed, my lack of enthusiasm wouldn't shine through the thin veneer of my pretense.

All I wanted to talk about was the all important pending doctor's appointment. I couldn't postpone it for much longer. I was twelve weeks into my pregnancy, and it wouldn't be long before the baby bump would start to show.

"Time for a bite to eat?" I asked as casually as I could.

"Give me 10 minutes," he replied. "I'll be with you right away!"

The big grin on his face told me he was excited to spend time with me. 'That's just because he doesn't know my reason for stopping by.' I felt one of the many twinges of guilt, which had started to plague me ever since I involved him in my private mess. I needed to stop my guilt trips. It wasn't helpful, and it didn't change the situation one iota.

Nick beamed at me when he came walking over to the table, where I sat waiting for him. My fingers itched to touch the dimples his grin produced.

"I'm glad you dropped by. I wanted to thank you for telling your parents. It makes the situation so much easier for me. At least I can talk openly to them..." he mused. "The hardest thing is this scheming and hiding and telling lies... I hate this part of the deal."

I nodded in mechanical agreement. But deep inside me, the she-devil wanted to smack Nick around the head for being so understanding and grateful and... and such a wimp, yes – a wimp and a pushover! I fought hard to hold it together and not run away screaming and shouting. Instead, I reached over the table to place my hand on his.

"Aw, Nick... you are so nice and understanding... when you should kick me around the space station and back again."

"Bella, the truth is, I could never deny you anything." He took both my hands, cradling them in his like they were fragile birds. "And I could certainly never hurt you." His dark eyes held mine unwavering. "There is one thing I need you to understand: I would die to be the father of your child, I would love to be your husband, and I will do everything in my power to make you forget Dylan and fall in love with me..."

Erm... I didn't see that one coming! This was going from bad to worse! Of course, he assumed Dylan was staying behind inside The Sphere, never to make the journey to Earth. Of course, Nick would expect, taking off on the spaceship meant 'bye bye Dylan!' Nick was hoping for me to fall in love with him eventually. He knew I fancied him, I had more or less told him as much. This gig was developing into a disaster! And I was the incompetent director orchestrating everything. Images of a certain Nero and a burning Rome flashed through my mind. I couldn't look Nick in the eyes, when I finally managed to speak again, after what seemed like an eternity in the fiery center of a comet's tail.

"Nick... I wish I were in love with you... it would make our lives so much easier." I produced a nervous giggle. There was nothing more I could say.

Nick was waiting for me. To say more... some words of hope... for a future together – however vague and impalpable they might be. But I couldn't give him that, of course. I would be overstepping the flimsy line separating 'not telling the full truth' from 'being an outright liar.' And I wasn't prepared to do that... not yet anyway. I respected Nick too much to lie to his face.

'Dylan! How could he respect me when I was struggling so hard to maintain my integrity? When would he get to see me for the spineless, pathetic human being I was?'

Every time I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I burned with resentment. How could I expect Dylan to see anything likable in me? I was so wrapped up in my own sump of sorrow and pain I was oblivious to Nick's agony just opposite me.

I jerked back into reality when he cupped my cheek from across the table.

"It's all right, Bella. Don't beat yourself up. I'm a fool to ask you for any commitment at this point. You are still raw. I understand that. Goodbye," he said softly before he left me to resume his work.

We never got around to eating lunch.

I went straight to the library where Dylan was waiting for me. He went through all the star charts and some blueprints of spaceship designs. Dylan needed to study those plans carefully to allow for judgment on which ones would be most suitable for our purpose. The deep frown on his face didn't fill me with confidence. What he had to tell me, didn't help to lift my mood either.

# 34 - Make Or Break

Bella's was brooding. Black, viscous energy, flowing sluggishly and creating eddies so deadly, they would suck everything in – slowly, surely, and with absolute certainty. No escape!

An overwhelming urge to shield my core took control over me. Any other time I would have jumped at the opportunity to mingle my essence with hers. Not on that day. Thank you very much! Guarding my signature within the space station was a gargantuan effort, even without the added complexity of Bella's dark moods. It was the first time since we me, I wanted to recoil and not touch her. Still – I gritted my teeth and quickly hugged and kissed her.

And sure as a sniffer dog, she caught on to my troubled status. Impossible to kid a woman when it comes to love!

She scrutinized me, puzzlement written all over her face. "What is it?"

"Your aura tastes foul." I winced, and she broke contact, stepping away from me.

"I'm sorry," she said flatly.

"Nick...?" I grimaced.

She nodded, reluctant to speak. "He thinks you'll be left behind when we leave for Earth... and I am afraid, he got it into his head," she squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed, "that he and I will become an item... once we are away... and... OH, BLOODY SHIT!" She exploded and kicked an innocent chair across the room.

"Whoa, Bella! Calm... down!" This is hot! The outburst transformed her aura into a red-hot bubbling, swirling tornado! Way more to my liking than the sluggishly moving lava stream just seconds before.

"Bella... what Nick hopes for is... well – it's mainly Nick's concern."

"But I'm misleading him! I'm giving him false hope. Can't you see, how that makes me not only guilty but also responsible for him?"

I could see her point. "Bella, please, look at it from the angle of keeping your friends, family, and the whole of the space station safe by not telling the full story."

I took a deep breath. Since our forced exit from The Sphere, my wife had been going through circles of guilt and shame and self-hate multiple times. There wasn't a day without them.

It had to stop! I went in for the kill.

"Bella, listen." I gripped her shoulders. "I can't go on like this. We can't go on like this! You, tearing yourself to pieces – me, trying to keep you together. It's not going to work like this, and if we don't get to grips with it, we'll not only compromise 'project spaceship' but our relationship. And as hard as it will be for me, I will leave you and never see you again..."

I took a deep breath, and let the threat hang for a while.

"So what is it going to be?"

I could see my words penetrating, the realization, the shock of what I just said splashed all over her face. Her terrified eyes turned glassy, all color drained from her face, her swirling currents frozen like a river in the middle of an Arctic winter. Cold, so cold. I had to restrain myself from reaching out to warm her. I needed to be cruel to be kind.

"You can't be serious..." she whispered, insufferable pain infusing her voice.

"I am dead serious, Bella." Saying those words ripped my semi-human heart apart and upset my singular entity flows so much, I felt like the space station around me came falling apart, exposing me to the universe. I don't know how I managed to keep my voice from shaking when all I wanted to do was howl and twist in agony.

Digger whimpered and licked her hands and then mine; as if trying to reconcile us.

"Be with Nick and forget about me!" My knees buckled as soon as I said it. My body went numb, my mind disengaged. I wanted to collapse and cry and beg her to hold me. I hurt so much thinking about the possibility of her taking my offer and leaving me. I had to keep pushing her away, though. How much pain could she stand, before she had to cut loose?

"Please don't say that..." Her voice had lost all tone. There was just a low, breathy sound coming from her mouth.

"If you abandon me... I swear... I'll never be with Nick..." She straightened her spine and locked eyes with me. She found her voice again.

"No matter what you decide to do - I will not be with Nick. Ever!"

With that, she marched past me and went to the bathroom. She locked the door, and I could hear the shower coming on. I didn't see her again for the next two hours.

When she emerged, she was wearing nothing but a big bathrobe, almost drowning in it.

"You are still here?" she asked, and I could tell by the timbre in her voice, she was seething and hurt.

I sat on the Ottoman, pretending to plow my way through some scientific literature about warp travel. Tedious stuff, but vital for my understanding of the limitations and problems of subjecting man-made materials to the forces they needed to withstand during hyper-light-speed. Truth is, I wasn't able to concentrate on what I was reading. I was wired!

I set the paper aside. "Sit with me, Bella." And although she came over, she hesitated to sit down.

I took her hands. She was unresponsive to my touch. For a split-second I panicked. Did I break her mind? I hauled her toward me, careful not to force her! She stood in front of me, passively waiting for me to say something, and I couldn't help myself any longer. I had to hold her! Close! The next thing I know, I tightened my arms around her, my face pressed into her midriff. I inhaled her beautiful energy and intoxicating scent. I didn't dare to move.

Finally... reluctantly at first, her rigid body started to soften, and she lifted a hand to touch my head, her fingers soothing like the touch of a butterfly settling on my body on a hot summer's day in British Columbia. I knew we would be okay there and then.

After what seemed like an eternity, she sank to her knees, took my face into her hands and pulled me toward her, bringing our foreheads into contact.

"I can't be without you. I realize I have to stop feeling guilty about Nick, my parents, and anybody else who I need to deceive. I have to remind myself: I'm not doing this out of malice, but to protect this space station. I am a good person!" She huffed a defiant breath.

I took her hands in mine.

"You are the kindest person, Bella ΞΙ. That's why I'm with you – that's why I will always be with you..."

I wiped a stray tear off her face.

"And I can't be without you either..." I affirmed.

She started sobbing uncontrollably, the roaring torrent of her pain gutting me. I was helpless. I couldn't do anything but hold her and rock her back and forth; keep her safe until she got a grip again. Bella was everything to me. Her pain was my pain.

With trembling fingers, she removed her bathrobe, and I pulled her up next to me. Our lips touched. Gentle – hesitantly at first, heating up quickly, becoming more passionate. Hunger! The tightness of my jeans increased to an unbearable level. Bella stripped my t-shirt off me, and started to attack the buttons on my jeans. I didn't waste any time to get out of them.

Once naked, she wrapped her long legs around my waist, the vise of her thighs holding me tightly against her body.

"Baby..." I hissed. "Let me take care of you first." The scent of her arousal drove me crazy, as did the feel of her silken skin.

She only gripped me tighter.

"I want you NOW, Dylan. I need you. Stop messing about!"

I saw nothing but consent and need and love in her eyes. It was all I needed to know! I plunged myself into her. No holding back! It didn't take us long that night to find relief in one another; our energy flows combining, becoming one, and forming something new and breathtakingly beautiful.

I remember coming down, lying on top of her, my head cradled in the nook of her neck, spent, dead to my surroundings. My whole world lay bundled up in Bella's warm body underneath me. I rolled off her eventually, and she turned onto her side, snuggling up to me, her hand gliding languidly over my chest. I pulled a soft comforter around us and allowed myself to drift into sleep as deep and soothing as the ocean.

When I opened my eyes in the early hours of the new day, I held her cradled in my arms, her back pressed against my chest. I nestled my face into her neck, traced my fingers over the curves of her body, and when they glided over her abdomen, I was sure, I could feel a baby bulge emerging. I smiled as unbearable happiness washed over me and took away the last traces of yesterday's crisis. I was complete holding my family.

# 35 - Moving Forward

"Warp engine..." The words drifted along the periphery of my consciousness but didn't quite manage to intrude. "Bella...?" somebody was calling my name... 'I should respond...'

A reluctant sigh later, I resurfaced from the depth of my memories. Dylan's hands on my body; caressing me - slowly, deliciously. My need for this gorgeous man – always simmering on a low heat - rapidly reached boiling point! I mentally revisited every detail of our slow and sensual love-making from the night before. I allowed the addictive combination of being loved paired with incredible sex, take over my mind.

"What is it, Bella?" His question startled me back into reality.

"Erm... I just..." My face flushed bright red. Other parts heated up.

He smirked. "I get it. It was incredible for me too. You know... like galaxies colliding, and swirling, and becoming one – only much better!"

I felt myself go even redder – as if that was possible!...I sighed.

"I'm sorry, Dylan. I know we agreed to work on the warp engine... but it's not my field of expertise..." I needed to pay close attention to what Dylan was saying, because I had to put his ideas forward to Nick at some point.

"So - what were you saying?" I had to stay focused... Easier said than done!

"Bella," his voice seized my attention. "Come here. Let me explain what I think we can do and what still needs exploring in greater detail. Here." He pointed to what looked like a random diagram in one of the many tedious papers he'd been reading.

"Sorry, Dylan... but this means nothing to me," I apologized.

He chuckled softly. "You don't need to understand it... but you will need to pretend a bit and steer Nick's attention toward it. Just enough to put his mind to it and hopefully come up with a solution." Dylan hugged me tighter to his chest.

"He needs to be made aware of the problems first before he can target them – that'll be your job. I'll be working in the background and check on the technical feasibility of his plans. And I will give as much input as I can to drive our project. But you, my darling wife, you will need to be the person, who speaks for me. You will be my voice out there."

He held my chin in his hand. His gaze was intense, and his incredible gray-blue eyes bore into mine. I was getting hot all over again.

"...could you please stop looking at me like this...?" I bit my lips, "...you're distracting me..."

His sexy chuckle vibrated against my ear, sending every nerve vibrating.

* * *

Bella was a slave to her hormones. Big time! Apparently, pregnant women experience all sorts of mental aberrations – courtesy of said hormones going wild. Moodiness, teariness, increased sex drive. Bella definitely suffered the latter. Not that I was complaining. Far from!

"Think 'warp engines'..." I brought her attention back to the subject at hand. "Antimatter propulsion drives can't reach hyper-light speed. That's a limitation of the technology. What they can do, though, is travel through wormholes at nearly the speed of light. Now – traveling through wormhole Δ9 at just below light-speed took a spaceship – what? - minutes to make the five billion light-year trip from Earth to the space station."

"So we need a wormhole..." she mused.

"Precisely! But we knew that already. What we need for our journey back to Earth is the ability to create a stable wormhole... Now - that would be an incredible feat, and from my understanding, we don't have the resources or the ability to create one."

Bella looked at me, disappointment splashed all over her face.

"Now... luckily we don't need to create the entire wormhole in one go. We need to create a wormhole-like warp field around the spaceship, in which it can travel at near light-speed. This will allow us to travel back to Earth about a billion times faster than the speed of light..."

"Wow... and how exactly are we going to do this?" She sounded doubtful.

"The Sphere," I said. "She holds the key. The warp field around The Sphere is a wormhole-like environment – that's why you encounter the time-conundrum. Wormholes fold space and time. Now – I happen to know a lot about this warp field – energy being my specialty." I grinned.

"Nick needs to get the Council's permission to reassess The Sphere and take the new findings to work on re-creating it in the engineering labs. The Sphere will be our study object, our blueprint, and our prototype. And I will be able to help with some of the details."

Bella nodded, forehead creased in concentration. "The Council," she said, "if we can't get their permission, we are screwed anyway."

* * *

Focus on staying focused! No point in jumping ahead to warp engine construction and wormhole-like warp fields, when we still required permission to re-assess The Sphere. One step at the time! I needed to remind myself, each step was equally treacherous and essential for our mission. One lapse and the whole project would collapse like a house of cards.

If we ever wanted to get a chance at getting project spaceship off the ground, Nick and I needed to come clean with the pregnancy before we even attempted getting the Council's permission to probe The Sphere. I looked at my emerging bump. Just a few more weeks... that was all we needed.

The intercom's chime interrupted my musings. I threw my hands up in the air.

"Right – I'll get out the way then!" And with those words, Dylan blended into the background.

"Nice work!" I said before I pressed the button to open the door for Nick.

"What brings you here?" I asked as casually as I could. I didn't want to let on, how much yesterday's meeting had rattled me.

"Just to see, if I can run some ideas by you... for the warp engine," he added hastily.

"Oh, that one... yes. I have gone through some ideas myself..." I cast a nervous glance at Dylan's scattered paperwork and cursed myself for not asking him to make them vanish, too.

Nick picked up some heavy duty scientific papers and skimmed them with casual interest.

"Tough stuff! I didn't know your technical abilities are at such a high level." He sounded impressed.

I felt embarrassed. "Well... it's not as if I understand all of it... In fact – I don't understand most of it... I..." Stop blathering!

"I can't claim I understand all of it... and I'm an engineer." Nick winked and gifted me with a generous helping of his irresistible sexy grin. My heart skipped a beat, which only got me annoyed for being so easily excited by Nick's flirtatious tone.

* * *

I stood with my back to the big panoramic window, blending into the darkness of the universe behind me. Nick's presence immediately transformed Bella's flows. His flirting with her left her excited and happy. It irritated me, and I wished I wouldn't have to witness their display of mutual fondness and companionship. But moving into another room would have been difficult, and besides - 'I have a right to be here!' I felt defiant!

It wasn't like I was eavesdropping. Bella knew I was in the same room. 'But Nick doesn't!' a little voice kept reminding me. 'So what? It gives me a bit of an unfair advantage. But I can't use it against him anyway.' I felt uncomfortable and itching to get away.

* * *

For the next two hours, we discussed warp technology in general and wormhole design in specific. Nick was pumped, full of ideas and infectious enthusiasm. He reminded me of a six-year-old, who had been inside The Sphere for the first time. His bright, shining eyes illuminated his animated face, and his wide grin showed off a perfect set of teeth. He kept licking his sensuous lips, and each time he did so, I couldn't help but stare. How would his lips feel on mine?

"So – if we can set up a meeting with the Council in two to four weeks' time that would be perfect. Don't you think, Bella...? Bella!?"

I jerked out of my naughty thoughts for the second time today. 'Same place - different man.' A hysterical giggle escaped my mouth, and I brought my errant thoughts to heel. Dylan wouldn't be too impressed with me!

"Two to four weeks time. Council meeting..." I recapped. "Sounds good." I swallowed hard. "Let's get the doctor's out the way first. I don't want to ask the Council before we had the chance to get the pregnancy out in the open... It's best to do it this way... honesty and all..." Speaks the über-hypocrite! I sighed and brushed off the disgusting coating of deception.

"Doctor first!" Nick agreed. "When do you want to go?"

"I thought I might wait a week or two until the bump is a bit more developed... just to make things easier to diagnose."

"Fine with me. It's your call." He wiped his hands on his black cargo pants and stood up ready to leave.

"One more thing I need to ask..." He hesitated.

I gave him what I hoped was an encouraging look. He blushed.

"What do you think about... well... we make it official... you know... you and me?" He looked at me expectantly, nervously wetting his lips. He was uncomfortable, but he did an excellent job at concealing it. I felt sorry for him, but I wasn't going to help him out on this one and pretended not to know what he was on about.

"Well – since we'll be parents," he air-quoted, "do you think, you could bring yourself to," he swallowed hard, "...go out with me sometime?" His chest heaved with agitated breaths.

"But we do a lot together already, Nick. Don't you think that's enough pretense?"

It was the verbal equivalent of a slap across his face – and I was painfully aware of this fact.

He recoiled, and I immediately regretted my cruel words.

"I'm sorry – I didn't mean it like this..." I tried to soften the blow. Damn! "I mean... of course we can go out. I suppose you are right, and we should... I'm just so tired most of the evenings..." What a Fucking. Lame. Excuse! My inner bitch sat pretty, lazily clapping her hands in mock applause.

"It's all right, Bella. I just thought it would be a nice idea and something to satisfy the space-stationers. I thought it might raise suspicions if we turned up with a baby without going out together before..." He swallowed back what must have been a gargantuan lump. "But it's up to you." He failed miserably at nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders. He raked his fingers through his long hair, visibly frustrated by my reluctance to go out with him.

"You will have to fake it a little bit, Bella."

I knew he was right.

Another awkward exit from Nick later, and Dylan and I were alone again.

* * *

Bella flung herself onto a chair and slumped. "This will become a proper nightmare." She pouted.

"I'm sorry, Bella. He is right. You will have to fake it a bit. People will become suspicious if you two have a baby without an obvious relationship."

"Dylan – people don't need to have a relationship, just because they have sex. It could've been a one-night-stand and nothing more. There is no need to fake a relationship on top of everything else..." she blurted out in frustration.

"I think there is, Bella. You have a child together. You have a strong working relationship. Universe! You are friends, and you're planning to travel to Earth together! The whole story is incongruent without a sexual relationship. And people will pick up on this!" My wife's stubbornness was frustrating! "Baby – I know it'll be hard to pretend, but you won't have to sleep with him or even live with him..." The thought alone made my blood boil with red-hot jealousy. "But you have to pretend to be with him... for us..." 'For us' those were the words never failing to coerce Bella into compliance. And luckily, they worked their magic once again.

* * *

I don't know why I always caved into Dylan's reasoning. I suppose, in comparison to his experience, I was nothing but a gullible teenager begging for guidance.

"So much for 'I am a strong, independent woman'," I muttered.

"I heard that, Bella!" Dylan shouted from across the room.

"Sod you! Of course, you did! You have bats' ears!"

He burst into roaring laughter.

"Sod you twice!" I shouted back, not trying to conceal my annoyance.

"I love you too, Bella!" he replied, still laughing his head off.

I decided to walk my frustration off with Digger, see the horses, and go for a ride. I could do with some uncomplicated animal company.

* * *

After Bella left, I allowed myself to yield to the full force of the frustration, the jealousy, and the fear – yes, the fear: real ripping, biting, gnawing dread, trying to take over my mind and reduce me to a gibbering heap of skin and bones. I felt just as impotent as I had been newly-created right after my birth; when I got swept away and transformed by the raging torrent of the catastrophic event that ended with φριξ's obliteration and the formation of the universe as we know it. I squeezed my eyes shut. In a sense, I had been adrift for a long, long time. But I had a goal now. I had a beautiful wife and a daughter underway, and I was planning to take them home.

I wasn't a drifter anymore.

* * *

I calmed down once I reached the stables. The horses were ecstatic to see me. They enjoyed going into The Sphere with Nick, but they missed our time in British Columbia. I missed home, too. I allowed my mind to wander to our house, the lake, and the endless forests, which stretches in all directions. I felt sad. It was my dream, my anchor, my destiny! And I would have to leave it all behind to pursue the vision of a home five billion light-years away. Without even knowing, if Earth was still habitable or if we would be welcomed. I wiped away an errant tear.

What was I doing? I could still stop it - give birth and then carry on with Dylan inside The Sphere as before. It would be an easy cop out, and there were many reasons to do so. It would be difficult, near impossible to convince the Council and the people of the space station to allow us to build a warp-driven spaceship to take us to Earth. It was madness! Why would people agree to this? They couldn't go on this journey. They couldn't even follow our journey. There wouldn't be regular updates, no contact - unless we found a means of sending warp-driven messages back to the station at regular intervals. Why should people give up a massive amount of resources to allow such a folly?

Was our innate drive to explore strong enough to throw off the shackles of stagnancy and boredom?

* * *

Back in our quarters, I had similar thoughts. Why would I allow my wife and daughter to trade in the safe haven of the station and The Sphere for the completely unknown and outright dangerous life on Earth? With diseases looming, human life expectancy would dramatically decrease living outside the near sterile environment of the space station. There could be wars, famine, insufferable pain, and violent death. What was wrong with a bit of boredom and stagnancy? Things were working! Things were good! A 'no change – no risk' scenario seemed appealing, compared to the dangers of space travel and the unknown perils looming on Earth.

'Bella will have me for breakfast!' I cringed. 'If she finds out I'm even contemplating carrying on as is...' "Scrambled eggs," I muttered. "She'll turn me into scrambled eggs..." Not that I had anything against scrambled eggs, but I didn't fancy ending up as Bella's breakfast... Well - on a second thought: who knows where a strategically placed drizzle of maple syrup might take us? Wicked!

I had no idea, how close to giving up Bella was at that moment!

I was still occupied with papers and holographic displays of some scientific description when she arrived back home.

"At least you are not watching porn." She smacked a kiss on my stubbly cheek and sank down in the chair opposite, exhausted after a long and intense day.

"I'll go see the doctor in a week or two." She cast me a meaningful smile. "I'm terrified," she confessed. "I don't know what kind of storm I'll set in motion... it could be nothing... maybe my outlook is too dramatic... perhaps people will just give me a heads up and then carry on as usual."

Her rabbit-in-the-headlight expression told me she was far from believing in happy endings. A warm, gooey wave of tender protectiveness washed over me.

"Come here, you." I made space for her next to me, beckoning her over.

She came into my arms without hesitation. I pulled her tight, running my energy-magic, as she calls it, through ever fiber of her body. Calming her. Dispersing her fears. It took a long while before she finally relaxed. I tucked her in and went to visit the horses. They were familiar with my semi-state; their welcome enthusiastic each time we met.

"Good boy, good girl," I whispered into their ears. I patted their necks and worked my hands along their neural pathways to check for upsets in their systems and help to re-balance them should need be. I couldn't detect any tension. "Nick is taking good care of you, guys." I smiled and sent a silent 'Thank you' to him. I felt a strange kinship with the man, and I wished we could meet and talk. "One day..." I promised myself. "One day we will meet." We might become friends. We might become foes, fighting over the same woman. I got the feeling, though, Nick wasn't a man who wasted time chasing lost causes.

I needed a walk, a run, a swim... anything to keep my essence healthy. I found inertia had a devastating impact on my signature flows. I went to the outer decks, which housed mainly living quarters, and started running around their perimeter. I didn't clock the time, but it must have been hours before I finally felt balanced enough to go home.

I found Bella curled up under the duvet, breathing evenly and relaxed. I took a quick shower with soothing steaming hot volcanic waters, which on Earth would bubble up from deep below the surface. People sometimes use hot springs to bathe, relax, and even heal ailments. There are hot springs in British Columbia, Bella told me. So far we didn't find any in our area, but we still had a lot to explore, and we might stumble upon them at some point. I let the steaming hot water wash over me and unwind my body. I emptied my mind and immersed myself in the soothing sensation of warm water flowing over my skin. I pictured myself in a hot rock pool, overlooking the majestic mountains and the beautiful lakes of British Columbia. I don't know how long I stood there, longing for Earth.

* * *

As tempting as it was, staying in bed with Dylan wasn't an option. I needed to get up and working! At the current rate, we would never see Earth! I sneaked out of bed, allowing Dylan to sleep for a bit longer. Love and tenderness always overwhelm me when see his 'sleeping beauty face.' I wanted to cover him in kisses and squeeze him tight.

Digger sneaked into the bedroom, and I caught him just in time to spare Dylan a taste of canine affection. "Oh yes... Dylan loves a good sloppy doggy kiss," I whispered as I playfully wrestled Digger away to feed him. Once I sat down, coffee clutched to my chest, I had time to start thinking about the upcoming events in more detail. Firstly, we had to get the pregnancy out in the open. For project spaceship, it was crucial, the space-stationers took a positive attitude toward us. Then - and only then - could we go ahead and introduce the idea of traveling to Earth. It was a hard sell at the best of time! I needed to dig deep into, analyze every inspirational speech throughout history, and come up with one of my own. And it needed to be more inspirational than all of them combined!

I suddenly didn't feel so comfortable and optimistic anymore.

'Right Bella!' I told myself, 'The one thing you excel at is finding information and transforming it into something people like.' I had to convince myself it wasn't a massive step from imaginist to inspirational speaker persuading people to get behind a common cause. I let out a deep-seated sigh. Before I could go ahead and inspire strangers, I needed to find out, what my motivation was. Then I could work on how to infect the other space-stationers with my enthusiasm. That's what was required: enthusiasm, passion, belief, and immovable trust that we could achieve anything we wanted to!

I wasn't an alien with the ability to surf the universe, I couldn't shape-shift into whatever I wanted to, I had only a little life experience under my belt. But I had belief. Belief and trust in my friends, who all worked hard to make our shared dream come true. I knew about their passion, their hard work, and their will to succeed. I had buckets full of faith in them!

# 36 - The Speech

Six weeks later...

Bella and I stepped through the imposing swing doors into the chambers of the High Court.

The gathered crowd stirred in anticipation. Low-level murmurs and the shuffling of thousands of feet filled the air as we walked onto the stage, side by side, our arms touching. Our stand overlooked the big atrium-like arena of the High Court, which was large enough to allow every single member of the space station to participate in the judging of the cases brought in front of the High Court.

Although she looked calm and composed, I knew, how nervous Bella was. I put my arm around her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze, my head dipping toward hers.

She turned toward me, and for a brief moment, our foreheads touched. A gesture of profound intimacy in the midst of the most public encounter on the space station.

I reluctantly broke contact, straightened myself, and addressed the High Court.

The stakes had never been higher!

"Dear Comrades, fellow Space-Stationers,

My name is Nick Cole, and this is my partner," I turned to look in Bella's direction, "Bella ΞΙ. We stand in front of you to introduce a proposal. We ask your opinion, and hope for your consent for our project."

I took a deep breath, looking directly at the audience before I carried on, willing my vocal cords not to fail me today.

"All of you have heard our names before, and you know, we will be parents to the first naturally conceived baby in over 4,000 years."

I took another deep inhale before I continued.

"We are delighted! We are elated! And we look forward to welcoming our little one to the space station!" My voice carried through the atrium.

"At first, we were as shocked as every single one of you."

I took my time, my gaze wandering over the sea of rapt faces.

"We had no choice, but to take on the challenge and face all that comes in its wake – namely shock, fear, ridicule, and even hate. Yes – we experienced outright hate, directed at ourselves and our families."

I allowed this information to settle over my audience.

"And although the Social and Medical Security Commissioner cleared us from all wrongdoings, we are still under much scrutiny."

A murmur rose from the crowd.

Bella put her left hand reassuringly on my right shoulder. I placed my left hand on top of hers, holding it in place for a few seconds. Then I continued to address the audience. "And yet, we have also experienced so much acceptance, friendship, and love. We never expected this to happen. We are honored to be part of this amazing society! We are deeply moved, and we will never forget your kindness. Our baby girl – her name is Mona – will be a true beacon to the spirit of this space station!" I almost choked on the twisted truth leaving my mouth. I never thought it would be this hard! "We will take her with us - on our journey to Earth!"

People started to look at each other, puzzled, stirring uncomfortably. Rising levels of murmurs sounded like a buzzing beehive coming to life.

I raised my hands. To calm the crowd and refocus their attention.

"This is our proposal: A journey to Earth. The invention and creation of new technology. The revival of the indomitable spirit of our ancestors, who ventured through the vast expanses of the universe to explore, to learn, and finally settle and make it their home."

I grabbed the edge of the stand in front of me with both hands, leaning forward.

"Our original purposes, when we first established and colonized Δ9, were exploration, research, and scientific advances. Pushing the boundaries of our knowledge was at the core of the mission right from the start!"

I took a deep, deliberate breath, granting my mesmerized audience a few seconds to let my words settle.

"For we had an idea that developed into a dream. We took it further and started to explore the possibilities. We researched, and we envisioned. And today, we stand in front of you, to ask your permission: to develop and build a spaceship, which will allow us to travel back to Earth and let humanity know, that we are still out there! To let our kin know, that we managed to survive against all odds and established a self-sufficient society!"

For the duration of a few heartbeats, I allowed the proposal to sink in before I carried on.

"We want to share our technology. Technology developed out of sheer need, beneficial to any society, who cannot afford to waste and squander precious natural resources."

I took another deep breath, making sure I still had my audience hooked.

"We know, civilization back on Earth came under threat by self-inflicted extinction level events by living well beyond the carrying capacity of our home planet, and by deliberately polluting the environment to an extent, that pushed the planet's ecosystem many times to the brink of catastrophic failure."

I bowed my head in reverence, released the grip on the stand in front of me, and shifted my upper body backward. Then I lifted my head again to face the assembly.

"We don't know the state of Earth at present. Mankind – or whatever is left of it – might be in desperate need of solutions like our recyclers and energy harvesting systems. They might still need a better understanding of how to live together peacefully and work toward the common goal of species survival."

I fixed my gaze onto my audience.

"Today!" I announced, hoping I would come across every ounce a confident and strong leader. "Today we hold a unique opportunity in our hands: the opportunity to go back home and teach them our ways! The right ways!"

I took a step back and lowered my gaze. I could have heard a pin drop in the vast atrium. Then – slowly at first, but quickly increasing - a crescendo of applause and 'bravo' shouts washed over me. People jumped to their feet, clapping their hands, whistling, shouting my name.

I felt like my knees should give way. I took this as a consent by the people. It wasn't a complete victory yet – they had to read the full proposal, and each of them had to vote 'yes' or 'no' after reading it, but I was confident, our written proposal by far exceeded our speech.

The power of words is incredible, and we had Bella to thank for putting them together.

* * *

Unimaginable relief washed over me when the people endorsed Nick without hesitation. I leaned back against the smooth marble-like wall of the atrium and closed my eyes. I allowed my mind to drift back in time and recall the weeks and month after my wife's pregnancy became public knowledge.

Bella and Nick had chosen her physician, Dr. Seth Spencer, well in advance. They picked him based on his compassion, but also because his passions and interests extended well beyond the boundaries of his medical profession. He is – unlike most space-stationers – a jack-of-all-trades. A trained physician, a competent scientist, and a humanitarian through and through. He is also the closest thing to a vet on the space station. He and Bella were well acquainted thanks to the animals.

It didn't take Seth Spencer long to diagnose her pregnancy. Which was no mean feat, given hers was the first one in over 4,000 years. Dr. Spencer – as surprised as he was – did everything humanly possible to give his patient the best medical care available, and he also helped to protect her from the onslaught of public condemnation.

My daughter, Mona, divided the people as soon as word of Bella's pregnancy got out.

The ones afraid and hateful were in the minority, but they fought loud and raged with a vengeance. The understanding and compassionate majority with their loving, mild-mannered nature had nothing much to set against the violent onslaught of hate and rage.

A tug of war broke out over the undecided faction – the ones who couldn't make up their minds and could sway in either direction.

In the end, the supporters outnumbered the objectors, reason prevailed, and peace – however fragile – settled over the space station once again.

I remember both Bella and Nick being left mentally battered and bruised by hate and resentment. They are both still somewhat traumatized; although they wouldn't admit to it. Both are fighters!

At the time of their outing, Bella was 14 weeks pregnant.

Now, five months pregnant and standing in front of the assembled space-stationers, she looked radiant and stunning in her ocean green, flowing maternity dress, which reminded me of the garment she wore on her 18th birthday.

I briefly allowed myself to reminisce before I brought my attention back to the here and now.

I could sense my wife's nervous energy swirls zapping her body with high voltage, and I sent her comforting thoughts of reassurance; not knowing if they would reach her or not.

When she lifted her head to look over the crowd, it wasn't them she saw. She looked straight at me before she began to speak.

"My fellow humans, my friends, my allies!

Please know, Nick spoke in my name as much as I will speak in his name now."

She touched Nick's hand and gave him a look so full of love and compassion, it twisted my invisible guts, and made Nick blush with delight.

"You all know me – and I know all of you. We are space-stationers. We are united. We do not have secrets from each other. Not because we are better than our ancestors on Earth, but because we live in a confined space, which doesn't allow much room for secrecy.

There is no scope for things to happen, for seeing or experiencing new things, which are worth keeping a secret. You can have a lover's crush maybe and hide it for a short while. But even this little sanctuary of privacy won't go unnoticed for long."

She turned to Nick again and bestowed the warmest of smiles on him.

"I can tell you from our own experience nothing stays hidden from the public eye for long."

She inhaled deeply and continued.

"When we started to date – right after my 18th birthday..." She swallowed hard, and I could tell, how difficult she found the lying.

My semi-human heart went out to her.

A few weeks ago, when we were still in the process of shaping and rehearsing the speech over and over and over again, even the most untrained of observers would have seen the blatant lie written all over her face. It was painful to watch her squirm and shrink each and every time she tried to make us believe. It was obvious: She neither meant the words she had crafted so carefully nor did she own the masterfully cast gestures and postures she had incorporated into this speech.

We were in desperate need of an actor to pull off the whole show! Somebody who could deliver Bella's work, see it through, and make people believe in it.

I remember the countless hours of frustration (mostly) and unbridled panic (sometimes) that lay behind us. We had practiced relentlessly. We went to the brink of exhaustion and pushed her over the edge more than once.

Nick and her parents sat through literally days of working on her credibility. And more than once those sessions ended in hot tears.

It was me, who picked up the pieces afterward.

I worried she wouldn't be able to conceal the truth in the face of the High Court.

So far, she did us all incredibly proud! I doubted even the most perceptive human could see through her deception.

* * *

I cast a sideways glance at Bella. Talking about our fake relationship was difficult for her - bordering on impossible. This hearing was serious business, and she must not give anything away. When we worked on this speech, it became clear she had tremendous problems with telling lies.

I advised her to keep the story as close to the truth as possible, but to omit my name when doing so. I remember telling her, if she didn't mention my – or Dylan's - name, she could tell the truth pretty much as it was, without actually giving it away.

"Imagine you are telling your and Dylan's story," I advised her.

It was a bit of a shaky spin, but she was more comfortable with it afterward.

It cut me every fucking time she told their story! Because I wish it was mine!

"...so yes – we started our relationship on the day of my 18th birthday... and I got pregnant soon after. I didn't know until Dr. Spencer diagnosed me four months later. It came as a bit of a shock. In fact, we still feel aftershocks now and again." Bella looked down at her bump and cradled it in her arms. She didn't need to fake this gesture of love and protectiveness. "And although we didn't publicize our relationship, most of our friends and family, colleagues and customers would have pegged us as an item by the time my pregnancy got diagnosed." Bella let an embarrassed giggle escape her mouth. "Word of my pregnancy got out and around fast. I don't think it took more than 24 hours." Her cheeks showed the pink hue of embarrassment. Embarrassment, which didn't stem from being pregnant, but from being a liar.

I put my right hand on top of her left one, which was still cradling Dylan's unborn baby. This wasn't in the script, but she gave me a nod of what looked like loving appreciation to me – 'Nick the decoy.'

"Secrets," she picked up her thread. "Secrets and risks and exploration; to probe the unknown, to discover, do research, and the satisfaction of understanding. Curiosity, the need to explore, to see, to research, the will to persevere under the direst of circumstances – those traits lifted our ancestors up from Earth and brought them here – into outermost space – five billion light-years from their home planet. When they made space itself their home, they made it our home."

Every word she said was infused with passion and accompanied by well-measured gestures, the tone of her voice modulated to captivate her audience.

We staged this speech. We designed it down to the minute details of stance, looks, gestures, tone of voice, gaze, and postures.

And boy, did it work! It chilled me to the bone to see, how easy it was to manipulate and control a crowd of 5,000 highly intelligent people. People who should have seen right through this deceit and stood against it! Instead, they stood rapt, captivated by her words, and filled with the pride to represent humankind at the brink of the universe.

"We have a vision, a plan, and a blueprint to build a spaceship. A ship able to travel at hyper-light-speed without the actual requirement of an existing wormhole. Nick here," with her left she reached out for me, and I took her hand into mine and entwined our fingers, "conceived a warp engine, which will allow us to travel a billion times faster than the speed of light!"

She beamed at me, then at the audience, and this well-calculated pause allowed the message to penetrate.

"When our wormhole collapsed, we thought, we would never see Earth again. We went from being explorers to becoming survivors. The very fabric of our existence became so sheer it was almost ripped to pieces in the decades and centuries to follow. But we survived!"

She straightened her back.

"Not only did we survived. We beat the odds! We thrived, and we improved our technology and ourselves. We ended up being a part of this environment; living in it; living off it. We changed our ways to become better, stronger, and self-sufficient. We learned, and we developed. We are at the pinnacle!"

Roaring, thunderous applause followed her words. People cheered frenetically. All hell broke loose. Bella allowed the crowd time to calm down before she spread her hands out and with a calming gesture asked them for silence once more.

"And at our pinnacle, we rid ourselves from all, that plagued humankind back on Earth. Namely: war, famine, and diseases. We can enjoy leisure time at will. We have social and gender equality, a lifespan exceeding anything seeming humanly possible. We are free to live however we like, to love whomever we want, and to eat whatever takes our fancy. We are all citizens of the space station, and a such we are free and equal and the masters of our own destiny!"

The applause surged once again, but with a swift motion, Bella shut the crowd down.

"But we paid a price for this freedom."

...hesitant murmurs filled the atrium...

"Our lives are stagnant. We have no goals and no visions. We stopped taking risks. We act as if there is nothing left to be discovered. We don't face challenges, and we haven't done in generations. We live in the past. Our society, our technology, our science, and even our zest for adventure ground to a halt a long time ago."

Bella averted her gaze, took a deep breath, and then - her brows furrowed, her forehead creased - she addressed the audience once more.

"The negative impact a life in stagnancy can have on individuals and societies alike is well documented, and ample records exist. Depression, aggression, and suicidal tendencies are among the most prevalent symptoms. Our society – brutal as it might sound – can be compared to caged animals, living in a zoo: with regular meals, nowhere to go, always the same enclosure to see, and with no hope, that things might change tomorrow. As a society... how long can we live without a challenge, the excitement of change, the hope to learn something new?"

Her gaze swept over the crowd. An open dare.

"Today, my friends," her voice rose a well-measured notch.

"Today we come to ask you to do something truly amazing: Today..." seconds dripping with tension passed, "we ask for your consent to make history! Today we ask you to approve a journey undertaken in the true spirit of our common ancestors. The journey home to Earth!"

Frenetic applause and cheering follow a second of absolute silence.

The crowd was on their feet!

The Court Marshall's customary advice following a speech addressing the High Court, about the full proposal being available for everybody to read in detail after the hearing, got drowned out by the stampeding crowd.

Four weeks later, after the end of the consultation period, an overwhelming majority of the space-stationers backed our proposal.

Project spaceship was a go!

It was time for us to build the ship and recruit the crew.

The End... for now...

Glossary

#

Things & Places

AMP (Antimatter-Propulsion): The prototype of the AMP drive invented by Dr. Glenys Marven, opened up the possibility of traveling at the speed of light.

Data-skin: Light-weight, portable supercomputer, made of a thin, flexible, superconducting material. Developed and advanced from now redundant supra- and nano-computers to allow data acquisition and processing at super high speed.

Drake Equation: Equation formulated by the astronomer and astrophysicist Frank Drake in 1961. It estimates the number of extraterrestrial civilizations, able of communication, in the Milky Way galaxy. The equation was continuously expanded to accommodate additional variables, which were originally obscured. To date, no intelligent species have been found. The search is ongoing.

EverDream: Suicide drug.

Final War: Short and destructive extinction-level world war. Duration: 03 February – 10 August 2915.

Great Uprising: Mutiny starting in 2701 at the beginning of the New Era, during which acting Commander William J. Howard was disempowered.

Imaginist: Person with outstanding knowledge and visionary ability to create sphere-worlds according to specifications and interest of space-stationers, who are unable or unwilling to create their own world. Bella ΞΙ is the leading imaginist on space station Δ9.

Mental Health Authority (MHA): Official body concerned with the spacer-stationers' mental health issues. The MHA – amongst other things – monitors usage of The Sphere.

New Era: Started in the year 2700, following the cataclysmic collapse of wormhole Δ9, which left space station Δ9 stranded in space and out of communication range or reach of Earth.

Orion, The: Legendary spaceship of the first manned mission to Mars. Left Earth on the 25th of November 2035. Landed on the 12th of July 2036. Now a historical exhibit as part of the initial settlement on the red planet.

PKS B1740-51: Galaxy, in which space station Δ9 is situated. Distance to Earth: Five billion light-years. Also called Δ9-Galaxy.

Space Station Δ9: Space Station Delta 9. A space station built at the exit of wormhole WH_102Δ9ΞΩ3 (see there). Built between the years 2231 – 2340 (first phase) and expanded (second phase) thereafter. Completed in 2500.

Sphere, The: Alien artifact of unknown origin (discovered 23 October, 3205), defying many of the known laws of physics. Only five meters in diameter, The Sphere allows its user the creation and manifestation of their imagined worlds and endless space. One day spent inside The Sphere accounts for only one second in reality. People don't age at Sphere-time but at space station time.

Laws of The Sphere: Only one person at the time is allowed inside. Animal companions, however, are welcomed.

Stuff-generator: Molecular assembly line, which generates anything from food, clothes, medicines, furniture to building materials by using basic chemical building blocks (atoms and molecules) to instantaneously create whatever is required. The prototype was conceived and built by Commander William J. Howard, who – after being disempowered during the Great Uprising – had been relegated to community service in the space station's recycling facility.

WH_102Δ9ΞΩ3: wormhole 102-Delta-9-Xi-Omega-3. Wormhole detected in 2151. Distance to Earth: 1 light-year. Connected Milky Way Galaxy with PKS B1740-51. Space station Δ9 was built at its exit in PKS B1740-51. Its cataclysmic collapse in 2700 left Space Station Δ9 stranded in space without the ability to reach Earth. According to Earth-Chronicles, Δ9 and its inhabitants were assumed destroyed.

φριξ – event: (Pronounce 'Phrix'). Universe-reshaping event. Brought on by the fourth singular entity to emerge from the Big Bang.

People & Life-forms

Alchemist: Bella's stallion. Son of Silvercloud.

Barnes: Engineer, old grumbler, and Bella's friend. Introduced Bella and Nick and so set the ball towards building a warp-ship rolling.

Bella ΞΙ: pronounce as 'Ksi' - the young historian, who meets the singular entity Dylan inside The Sphere.

Bruce Tw: Senior officer of the Mental Health Authority. Questions Bella about her increased usage of The Sphere after she met Dylan.

Claudia: Bella's client and friend. The first person to have tried to commit suicide inside the privacy of The Sphere.

Digger: Bella's dog

Dylan: Third singular entity, who cannot resist Bella ΞΙ. He falls in love with her energy-signature and approaches her inside The Sphere.

Eleanor Lauri: Bella's client and niece of MHA Officer Bruce Tw

Glenys Marven, PhD.: Physicist at MIT, who in 2076 invented the prototype AMP drive. Winner of the 2080 Nobel Prize in physics and one of few scientists with celebrity status.

Mona: Unborn daughter of Dylan and Bella.

Nick Cole: Highly inventive, adventurous young engineer, who takes on the challenge of working on designing a warp-driven ship. He falls in love with Bella, not knowing of Dylan's existence.

Singular Entity: The first life-forms to emerge during the very early stages of the universe, right after the Big Bang. Not counted as a species, because each singular entity is unique. Eternal beings, who will live until the end of the universe. Can be exterminated by shutting them off from the universe's energy sources (death by energy-starvation). Singular Entity Laws forbid the interaction with 'minor species'. Breaking the law will result in the extermination of the singular entity and possibly of the 'minor species'.

Silvercloud: Bella's mare. Dame of Alchemist.

The Hundred: The first settlers to colonize Mars. The crew of the legendary spaceship Orion, which left Earth on the first no-return mission to Mars on the 25th of November 2035. The journey took eight months, and the first manned landing on Mars happened on the 12th of July 2036.

The ΞΙ-family: Bella's mother Mara and her dad.

William J. Howard: Commander in Chief of Space Station Δ9, following the wormhole-collapse. His leadership skills are flawed. Disempowered and trialed in 2701. Sentenced in 2703 to community service in the recycling facilities, where he redeems himself as the inventor of the prototype stuff-generator.

φριξ: phi-rho-iota-xi (pronounce as 'Phrix') Fourth singular entity to emerge after the Big Bang. Caused the φριξ – event: a cataclysmic event, which reshaped the future of the universe. Φριξ was believed to have died following the catastrophic event, which he instigated.

# ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To the people who helped me make this book.

To the people who encouraged me to keep going.

To the people who read this book.

To the people who were patient with me.

To all the people, who pick up The Sphere and read it.

May your curiosity be satisfied and your imagination set on fire.

Enjoy!

The WorldWideWeb, which is so full of information and inspiration!

I would especially like to acknowledge the following websites and encourage people to have a look and discover truly awesome stuff. For information, inspiration, and amazement:

NASA: https://www.nasa.gov/

Hubble: http://hubblesite.org

SETI: https://www.seti.org/

BBC: http://www.bbc.co.uk/science

The Royal Society: https://royalsociety.org

New Scientist: https://www.newscientist.com/

Scientific America: https://www.scientificamerica.com

IPCC: http://www.ipcc.ch/

...and the many others, which I visited on my journey through wormholes, galaxies and all the weird and wonderful matter the universe has to offer.

Thanks to all the hardworking and dedicated scientists and writers, who spend their lives in laboratories and in front of the computer to create new knowledge and make it accessible to the public.

Thank you, guys!

You have my deepest respect – always.

ANK

Isle of Anglesey

November 2017

# About The Author

Anathea N. Krrill is a scientist by trade and a writer by passion.

She lives in a picturesque fishing village on the beautiful Welsh coast and pinches herself every day to make sure it is not a dream.

Anathea worked as a research scientist for almost two decades, before she decided to take her lifelong passion for writing from purely recreational to the next level.

She now works as a part-time scientist and part-time writer and enjoys the best of both worlds.

Science and Magic is an unbeatable combination.

ANK:

Publishing is a scary thing! I never thought I had the guts to do it.

# Upcoming Titles

The Odyssey

Let the journey begin!

The Odyssey is built and ready for launch.

This book tells the story of Bella and Dylan, their daughter Mona, Nick and three additional crew members, who – on the 01/09/7289 – launch The Odyssey to commence a five-year journey, which will take them back to Earth.

Many dangers – known and unknown ones – lie ahead and the crew will need all their knowledge and wits to battle mental, physical and metaphysical challenges, which emerge during the journey.

Will Dylan be able to conceal his existence for much longer?

Will Nick be able to find happiness?

And most of all: Will they make it back to Earth in one piece?

The Odyssey – Book 2 of The Sphere-World Series is available from Amazon

For updates, please consider subscribing to my mailing list on

https://anatheakrrill.blogspot.co.uk/

Stay in touch via Twitter or Instagram @AnatheaKrrill

Or email me at anathea.krrill@gmail.com
