Narrator: Thomas the Tank Engine was huffing
and puffing when suddenly...
Thomas: Bust my buffers!
This isn't the way to the Whistling Woods.
Bank Robber: (Driving Thomas) No it ain't,
pal!
Unless the Mayor of Sodor gives me a hundred
million bucks, we're gonna drive this dynamite
right into Knapford Station!
Mayor's Office
Mayor's Aid: Uh, we got a problem.
Mayor: Get me Sir Topham Hatt.
(Mayor's Aid leaves) And you...(Rosie appears
from behind desk) You come back later.
Rosie: You know my schedule, dear.
(Drives away)
Knapford Station
Sir Topham Hatt: (Percy and James are together
with Sir Topham in Percy's interior) Okay,
people, this is what we trained for.
(Percy laughs) So immature!
Can we all just stay on track?
(James laughs) Let's just get this bastard!
(Percy's whistle sounds, and James and Percy
begin slowly puff away) Move!, move!, move!
(Steam whistle sounds, and James and Percy
continue chuffing really slowy)
8 Hours Later...
Thomas: (Still hijacked, Percy catches up
with him) Hello, Percy!
Percy: Hello, Thomas!
Wonderful weather for a hijacking, isn't it?
Sir Topham Hatt: Shut your steamhole and get
closer!
(Jumps into Thomas's cab)
Percy: I LOVE being really useful!
(A penny appears on the rail of the tracks
in front of Percy, who accidentally runs over
it, which causes him to derail and explode)
Bank Robber: (Holding axe) You'll NEVER take
me alive, Sir Topham Hatt!
(Attacks Topham with axe, misses, and hits
Thomas' controls)
Thomas: OW!
Sir Topham Hatt: Missed me!
(Bank Robber attacks again, and hits Thomas
again)
Thomas: OWW!
Sir Topham Hatt: Your blows are harmless!
(Bank Robber attacks again, and hits Thomas
again)
Thomas: My internal organs!
(Gets hit twice) OW!
JUST FINISH ME, YOU PUSSIES!
(Bank Robber punches Topham, causing him to
groan and pull down Thomas' throttle, making
him go faster)
Bank Robber: (On walkie-talkie) Conductor
to Skywolf.
Request pickup.
Harold: (Flying towards Thomas) Copy that,
I'm on my way.
Thomas: Harold the Helicopter!?!
You're a part of this?!!
Harold: That's right.
I'm tired of taking a back seat to a bunch
of steam trains.
I can fucking fly!
(Thomas and Harold enter a tunnel)
Bank Robber: (He and Topham are on the top
of Thomas) So long, Topham!
(Cackles as he turns toward Harold, who tries
to catch the Bank Robber, but fails when tail
blade hits a wall, as he falls to the ground,
and explodes with the top blade spinning right
between the Bank Robber, who screams, and
Topham, and Thomas makes it out of the tunnel
avoiding a huge explosion)
Thomas: (His head hits a sign) OH, what cruel
god would give a train a face?!?
(Heads for a broken bridge)
Sir Topham Hatt: PUMP THOSE PISTONS, YOU STEAM-POWERED
SON OF A BITCH!
(Thomas starts chuffing faster, and jumps
over the cliff, but barely makes it by clinging
to a rail ending with his mouth while the
Bank Robber hangs onto Topham's leg)
Bank Robber: Topham!
Help me!
I'll turn myself in, I swear.
Just pull me up!
Sir Topham Hatt: End of the line, (fuckhead).
(Kicks Bank Robber, who screams, while he
falls down the cliff to his death)
Knapford Station
Mayor: (Shakes Topham's hand while crowd applaudes)
Thank you, everyone!
Knapford Station is safe!
Sir Topham Hatt: You're quite welcome, Mayor!
Mayor: And how did you dispose of the dynamite?
Sir Topham Hatt: Uhhh...
(Thomas explodes while in a siding, destroying
the station, along with James and Annie and
Clarabel)
