

### Uncertainty

### Volume 1

### Bella Baird

~~~

Smashwords Edition

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblances to actual persons, living or dead, are purely coincidental. The author, Bella Baird, holds exclusive rights to this work.

Copyright © 2014 by Bella Baird

All rights reserved

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

# Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Preview – Uncertainty: Volume 2

#  _Chapter 1_

Certainty about _one_ thing can mean the world when everything else is tentative. It makes great efforts seem worth all the sacrifice and discomfort. It allows one to sleep more easily at night, knowing that upon waking, something will hold constant to act as an anchor against the churning tides. The lack of certainty can drown someone under waves of anxiety, dragging them away from a once secure shore that eroded beneath them. This was a feeling to which Alice Reed would become accustomed.

It had been four months since she graduated from her graphic design program, and she had yet to find a job within her field. She did some freelance work here and there, but she wanted something more stable and structured. Alice always worked better under a strict timeline and some sort of direction. Not to say that she wasn't self-motivated or driven when working directly for clients. She was the most passionate person she knew when it came to bettering her life. Alice came from a less fortunate family, and her parents couldn't afford to put her through college, so she did it herself through a combination of scholarships, loans, and part-time work. Now that she'd graduated, she was able to work full-time at her college job as a data entry clerk. The couple of raises she received on top of her somewhat infrequent design contracts made it possible for her to support herself in a very small apartment in New York. At least she had that to rely on.

Even so, she couldn't help but feel some trepidation about her career choice. She wondered if she would ever be able to find a great job that allowed her to release her creativity. Alice had moments when she panicked about choosing a different career path. Maybe if she'd gone into Biology, she would've had an easier time finding a dependable job. Though as intelligent as she was, her mind was better suited for artistic endeavors. Her mother, however, disagreed.

Karen was usually unwilling to support any decision Alice made. At first, Karen told her that school was a waste of time and money. She preferred that Alice start working full-time right after high school. Alice, on the other hand, saw herself in a career in which she enjoyed the work and challenged herself daily. Karen changed her attitude after a couple of years. At that point, she expressed her wish that Alice had gone into accounting, law, or the medical field. Unfortunately, Alice's confidence took a beating from all of this. She had a hard time coping with Karen's comments when she almost didn't make it into the design program. Of course, she never shared that information with her mother. It would have only elicited unwanted questions and statements.

Alice dreamed of the day when she could put her mother in her place, but she knew that day was far off or might never come at all. Her confrontation style was to shut down and let the comments and insults wash over her. Later on, she would go home and unleash her emotions alone. The result was that she visited and called her mom less frequently. Alice had enough to deal with. She didn't need any more stress than she dealt with during her job search.

Alice went through all of this again on her way home from her most recent interview. She didn't feel as if she made a great impression, and she _knew_ there was no way she would get this job. Her mind reviewed the clear signs she'd come to recognize when an employer had no intention of hiring.

Alice lost a large portion of confidence as soon as she'd stepped into Steve Slagle's office earlier. She was very put off by the interviewer's stoic disposition. It even seemed like he was talking down to her at one point. One thing was definite: he verbally tore apart her portfolio. After all of her art school experience, she knew the difference between constructive criticism and bullying. He'd chosen to call her work "boring" and "amateurish." Yet he stated no reason for his opinions, nor did he tell her what could be improved about her compositions and design work. At the end of the interview, he said they'd be in touch _if_ they found her to be the best candidate for the job. Alice walked out of the building with her blood boiling and her eyes ready to tear up.

In the car, she calmed herself down and stopped her tears from falling. She wouldn't waste any more emotions on this interview. _There will be other interviews. I shouldn't let all the previous ones get to me._ Getting a hold of her emotions typically took longer, but in this case she believed what she was thinking. Alice decided that she was glad Steve Slagle didn't hire her. Her mother's attitude could never compare to that man's abrasiveness. Alice really had hope this time, even though today held a great loss. She already completed the hardest part of her career. Dealing with sleepless nights, work and design-filled days, brutal critiques, and last-minute improvements to designs geared her for what she went through today. All Alice needed now was to reap the rewards of her hard work. While it was a very competitive market, there would be someone to appreciate what she had to offer.

That thought reminded her of the special someone that she cherished for sticking by her side the last few months. Alice told her phone to call Daniel.

"Hey, babe!" Daniel greeted her on the line.

"Hey, cutie," Alice said with a wide grin. She instantly felt relieved.

"So..." he said with anticipation evident in his voice. "How did the interview at UniCorp go?"

"It...didn't go well," her voice dropped as she broke the news to Daniel.

"Oh, no. What happened?" He sounded genuinely upset for her.

"Well, the interview started with him berating me for not being able to set up the appointment until 3 because of my other job," she stated matter-of-factly. "Then it ended with him telling me how boring and 'not good' my work is."

"He really said that?" he asked.

"Those were snippets of his exact words, yeah."

"He's obviously shit at critiquing art," Daniel said with unmistakable venom in his tone. "I can't _believe_ someone with no background in graphic design has the gall to insult your work as though he knows _anything._ Just...just, what a turd! I mean, re..."

"All right, it's okay!" she interrupted him, almost crying from laughter. "Don't get all distressed over me! I've got this handled."

"I'm sorry. It just bugs me to see you so worried about this." He paused for a few seconds. "What would you say to dinner tonight? How would you feel about that Ethiopian place near me?"

"Dinner, yes, though I'm not feeling too adventurous tonight. Can we go to the Mediterranean restaurant near you instead?" Alice suggested.

Daniel chuckled and said, "That sounds great. Does 7 o'clock give you enough time to get ready?"

"Is 6 all right with you? I'm already dressed up. I just have some errands to run before we meet up," she said.

"Great! I'll start getting ready soon. See you at 6, babe! Bye," Daniel responded.

"Bye!" she sang before the call ended.

Alice knew that calling Daniel would put her in better spirits, as it always did. He was a great guy with lots of kindness and lots of intensity as well. She met him during the last semester of college, but they hadn't started dating until a couple of months ago. He really made her happier than she'd been in a while. Things were clicking into place for the two of them. _Now if only the rest of my life can follow suit,_ Alice thought as she pulled into the grocery store parking lot. She needed to pick up some things and drop them at her place before dinner. It would be so great to see Daniel face-to-face and put the whole day behind her.

Alice brimmed with excitement as she walked up to Cagliari. She'd never been to this restaurant, and she had not seen Daniel in almost a week. They both had tight schedules, which were hard to work around. She genuinely missed his company when they couldn't see each other for a few days. Looking through the large front window, she could tell this place had style and class. The atmosphere was dark and cozy. Hanging lights dimly illuminated the dining room, and each table had its own set of candles. She scanned the restaurant to see if Daniel had gotten there before her when she saw him sitting in a booth near the back. She stood there for a moment while studying him from afar. He'd done his hair tonight, parting it on the side and swooping the rest of his usually wild sandy blonde locks over. He became quite handsome when he cleaned himself up, but he always had an understated sort of charm from day to day. It didn't take him long to notice her at the window. When Daniel saw Alice standing in front of restaurant, his face instantly brightened. He flashed that adorable crooked smile in her direction, and Alice could have melted on the spot. She had to keep herself from bursting through the door and running to the table to meet him; instead she took her time walking over. He stood up and gave her a tight squeeze before they kissed each other slowly.

With disbelief on his face, Daniel pulled away and said, "Wow, you look absolutely beautiful! How did you not get hired today? You've got amazing designs and amazing beauty."

It was true. Alice appeared quite stunning tonight. She looked professional and stylish at once in a slightly conservative outfit that fit well enough to accent her natural curves. Alice's chestnut hair fell in loose waves down one shoulder, her red lips and green eyes getting second and third glances from some of the other diners.

"How sweet of you! You're looking pretty handsome, yourself," she responded shyly.

They slid into the booth and were shortly greeted by their server. Once they got their waters and gave their order, Daniel looked at Alice seriously.

"How are you _really_ feeling?" he asked.

"I'm fine now that you're here," she replied with honesty.

"You mean it?" he asked with his eyebrows raised. "You're really doing all right?"

"Yeah. I'm getting used to the fact that there's a lot of competition in this field. Not everyone is going to like my portfolio, but I have a decent number of skills. I'll make it somewhere eventually."

"I know you will. I just hate to see you working so hard and not getting anywhere."

"It'll all be worth it when I find the right place. Plus I already have an okay job, even though it's extremely boring and doesn't pay as well as I want." She thought for a couple of seconds and smiled, "Not to mention that I have you."

"It's funny you say that," Daniel said, a smirk across his face.

"Uh, oh. What's that mean?" she asked with some confusion and trepidation.

"I have a surprise for you. Now before I tell you what it is, I want to stress that you shouldn't get your hopes too high," he told her carefully.

"But..." Her growing smile exuded eagerness.

"After we got off the phone earlier, I asked a few of my design friends if they knew of any opportunities around here. It turns out that my friend, Devin, has an aunt that works at the headquarters for Jitter," Daniel spoke suggestively.

"Oh, my God! That's the newest social media site, right?" Alice asked with a voice that rose in anticipation.

"Yep, and it's gotten so popular recently that the company is growing exponentially. Devin talked to his aunt, who said they have a few design jobs opening up," he told her elatedly.

"This is amazing! I have to apply for this tonight!" She couldn't keep her excitement contained.

"That's not even the best part. She said she could get you an interview. This is her contact info." He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and slid it toward her. "She wants you to call her at the office to set up a meeting! You'll just have to bring your portfolio and résumé."

Alice started to get a little emotional. She quickly wiped some tears away from her eyes. "You're just...you're the best! Thank you!"

"Oh, it was nothing," Daniel said as he reached across the table to hold her hands.

"I feel a bit like I'm cheating though. Like I'm skipping necessary steps that everyone else has to go through," she sighed.

"Hey, it's all about networking. How many of my friends do you think got jobs because of a family member or someone else they know?"

"Uh, one?" Alice guessed.

"Nope! Six. Networking is just another tool. It's not cheating at all. Employers usually want to hire someone they have a connection to. People are there to supplement things like a good portfolio and résumé."

"You're right. I'm trying to over-analyze a good situation," Alice said as she shook her head. "Okay, enough work talk! Let's enjoy our nice dinner. If I'm lucky, this will end up being more of a celebratory dinner than a consolation."

She squeezed his hand tighter and smiled, feeling a weight lifting off of her. It's possible that this was her big break. For now, she rested on cloud nine. She relaxed and enjoyed Daniel's company while they ate dinner. Everything was so delicious that they switched plates a couple of times to eat each other's food. Alice didn't want to take all the attention, so she managed to coax Daniel into talking about how his week had gone.

He was fortunate enough to be working as a curator for an art gallery a few blocks from his apartment. The gallery was becoming quite trendy in the local art scene. All the talented upcoming artists clamored to be shown there, which meant that Daniel had a lot of work on his hands. Additionally, his frequent walks to work and weight lifting had lost him two more pounds in the last week. Alice would never tell him, but his improved physique turned her on more and more, though she had a massive crush on him even in school when he was a little rounder.

They frequented similar circles of friends before and after graduating, and they eventually hit it off one night while seeing a movie. The movie was a gory horror film. Alice wasn't too affected by horror movies, but she embellished a bit on each jump scare. In a bold move, Daniel put his hand on hers for comfort toward the end. After leaving the theater, they exchanged numbers and texted each other until they fell asleep. Before that night, she'd never imagined he was as interested in her as she had been in him. Apparently, he harbored the same crush in school that she had.

It hadn't taken her many dates to realize what a great catch he was. Daniel was a very passionate and talented illustrator with a drive that kept him always working on multiple projects. He'd shown and sold a lot of his work at the gallery already. Alice was surprised with how humble he remained despite selling over 20 of his life-like drawings and helping to put together some of the most successful art shows in the area. Daniel never bragged to anyone about his recent accomplishments. In addition, she valued the fact that he was very considerate. He always talked to her about his thoughts and made sure that she was comfortable wherever they went. Daniel even let her pick the radio station in his car, which really blew her away for some reason.

"All of this food was so awesome! Thanks for suggesting this place instead of the Ethiopian restaurant. I have to admit that I have no idea what Ethiopian cuisine consists of," said Daniel.

"I'm totally willing to try it blindly if you are," Alice told him.

"That will be our next date then."

"I can't wait. Do you want to head out now? Maybe we can go back to your place. I brought a change of clothes just in case," she stated suggestively.

"Oh, you can certainly come back to my place. We can watch a movie and cuddle. Then we can try that thing I told you about," Daniel's mouth turned into a wolfish grin.

"What thing?" Alice responded with wide eyes.

"You know. The thing with the hair and one leg up high?" he said as he made provocative gestures with his hands and body.

She let out a belly laugh and whispered, "You absolute perv!"

Daniel took care of the bill before they both walked out to their cars and headed to his apartment. On her way there, Alice felt more relaxed than she had been in while. Somehow she believed that things would work out, and she'd eventually have nothing to worry about.

The previous night was exactly what Alice needed to get her out of the funk she'd been in lately. She drove to work with an unusual light attitude about everything. Her typical mood at work wasn't poor or pessimistic, but she didn't often arrive as giddy as she felt today. After an hour or so of typing in documents, her giddiness was replaced by an anxious feeling. Work seemed to move extra slowly, and her lunch break seemed so far away. That was when she would call Devin's aunt to set up the big interview. Each minute, each hour crawled by excruciatingly. Alice focused harder on her work so that she wouldn't make any mistakes, but she felt like she could burst any second. Eleven o'clock finally came, and she rushed to the break room so she could make the call. Luckily, she had the room to herself for now. She pulled out the card and dialed the number on it. Instantly, her heart raced while the dial tones emanated from her phone. _I hope I can manage to sound professional while being this nervous._

At last a woman spoke on the line.

"Hello, may I speak with Veronica Chatwin?" asked Alice.

"Yes, this is she," answered the woman.

"My name is Alice Reed. I was told to call you to set up an interview," Alice tried to sound confident as she spoke on the phone.

"Oh, hi! I thought you might call today. Devin sent me to your website. I have to say, I'm very impressed. Not only by the work highlighted there, but also by the style and technical aspects of the website itself. Did you make this on your own?" asked Veronica. She spoke very animatedly, almost as if she were on a caffeine high.

"Yes, I put it all together and obsessively tweaked the code until I had exactly what I wanted." Alice hoped she didn't sound too full of herself.

"Fantastic. We're looking for multi-talented people like you. Here's the situation. Jitter has been in operation for a year now, and the number of users has increased very quickly. We have a lot of design positions opening up because our new goal is to completely reinvent the look and function of Jitter. Imagine that we're trying to flip a house. The first step would be to burn that sucker down, and then we'll rebuild it from the ground up!"

Alice couldn't help but burst into laughter before saying, "Hopefully I can be a part of that process!"

"Let's set up the interview then," Veronica said with more enthusiasm, if that were possible. "Would Tuesday at 2:30 be a good time and day?"

"Tuesday is great, but could we try for 3? I can leave work at 2, and then I'll need some time to get there," Alice implored timidly.

"That works great. I'll send the address to you via email. When you make it here, go up to the 14th floor and check in with Annie for the interview. I can't wait to speak with you in person!"

"Likewise! Thank you so much. Have a good day, Veronica," Alice piped.

"You too, Alice. Bye!" Veronica said.

Alice wanted to run screaming through the halls in excitement. Not only had she landed an interview at the biggest upcoming social media site, but she also would be interviewing with someone who had seen and liked her work. She loved Veronica's attitude and couldn't wait to put a face with the voice. Before Alice ate lunch, she had to text Daniel to tell him the news. She knew he would be relieved for her. _This is it! Things are finally happening for me!_ She had to remind herself that this was not a guarantee, and things may turn out way more challenging if she were to get the position.

She went back to her desk and continued the document she was working on before lunch. Typing went a lot more quickly and smoothly for her now that she'd gotten over the hurdle of calling Veronica. Plus, something told her that she'd be trying out Ethiopian food sooner than later.

The weekend passed by a little too slowly for Alice's liking. She spent a good amount of time fixing up her portfolio to look perfect for the interview. Any one thing could force her to lose out to her competition. Most likely, there was a plethora of talented individuals who had already interviewed and were waiting for a call. Alice tried not to think about all of these possibly more qualified designers. Imagining them all made her actually sweat. She didn't want this chance to pass her by the way all the others had.

She did get to spend a little bit of time with Daniel on Saturday. Though as much as he wanted to celebrate with her, Daniel was preoccupied with a large show at the gallery, which was open all weekend. He could barely keep his eyes open, and he fell asleep while she cuddled with him in front of the TV. Monday was better for the both of them. They had a good time at the Ethiopian restaurant, which was much less of a risky decision than Alice thought. The food tasted good, and they ate it with the "tablecloth"—actually made from a sort of bread.

Tuesday brought another excruciatingly slow day at work. Alice rejoiced in the fact that it was an early day for her again. Her moods were all over the place though. She jumped from euphoric excitement to sheer terror several times during her shift. Alice attributed these mood swings to the hype of a great job that four months of searching had built up in her mind. After work, the walk back to her car had Alice sweating profusely. _Smelling like a normal human being has to be a requirement in nailing this interview._

The route to the building was easy enough, and traffic flowed much less congested than usual. This left her with a lot of time to spare, but she made her way from the parking garage regardless. The building itself was a tall glass and metal structure that was all windows. Alice felt intimidated just being in front of it, thinking about the fact that she might work there soon. She checked in with Annie at around 2:40 and proceeded to sit down in an extremely comfy lounge chair. Her surroundings looked almost like a law firm. Walls consisted of dark wood, and offices on the outer edge had all glass walls. The light fixtures and furnishing were very art deco. This place had an aura of class and professionalism she hadn't envisioned, although Alice wasn't sure in what kind of building she thought a social media site should have its headquarters.

After what seemed like an hour, a short blonde woman in a pink blouse walked over. She was most likely in her early forties, but had a bouncy walk and bright smile that made her appear a bit younger.

"Alice Reed?" she asked cheerfully.

Alice stood up and replied, "That's me. Hi."

"I'm Veronica. My office is right over here," the woman said rapidly while they shook hands.

They took a turn at the end of the hallway, and ended up right across from what looked like a large meeting room. The wooden doors were propped open so that Alice could see the whole space. She saw some sort of game console below a rather large flat screen. In the center stood a sizeable glass table that looked like it could seat about 30 people. In front of the ceiling-length window in the back sat a wooden desk topped with stacks of papers and what looked like some dog toys laying in a very unorganized manner. On either side of the desk, huge bookshelves set into the walls held about 300 books or so. Alice couldn't believe her luck interviewing at such an extravagant place.

She was about to turn around when she saw a tall man stand up from below the desk. She took a second look at him. Something about him was so familiar to her. Alice couldn't put her finger on what made her feel this way. It was his short dark hair, his eyes, and the way he stood there brushing himself off. He looked up from what he was doing and saw her practically staring. An expression of shock came across his face, and Alice realized that she knew him somehow. She quickly looked away and thought to herself for a second. _How do I know him? Did we go to school together?_

Before she could place him, she heard Veronica say, "Come in and have a seat. That's our CEO. Don't get nervous though. He's very hardworking and expects a lot from employees, but Mr. Beringer is really a great boss to have. We're all really lucky to work for someone so modest and accessible."

Alice didn't recognize the last name, so she brushed off her feelings of familiarity as a case of mistaken identity. She figured he just reminded her of someone she once knew or saw on the street. Stepping into the office, she closed the door and sat down in front of Veronica's desk.

"I have your website pulled up right now. The design is absolutely fabulous! It's got some eye-catching contrast between the black and white, but I'm glad you added in these little bursts of red and grey. You've given everything a sense of depth without being overwhelming, too. Oh, and the page transitions! So smooth the way it fades to the next one. Well, you know I love your website. Let's see your portfolio," Veronica gushed at Alice.

She honestly seemed very excited about this interview. Alice was feeling exactly the opposite, although Veronica's pep helped her relax a little bit.

"Okay, so I have this binder with various logos, pamphlets, business cards, and other things I've put together." Alice placed the binder facing toward Veronica—who opened it immediately—and reached down to pick up her large, thin case. "When you're finished with that, I have this holder with posters for events."

"You have a lot of variety going on in your designs, but there's still a level of restraint in each one." Veronica looked up and saw that Alice had a slightly worried look about her. "That's not a bad thing at all. Some people like to do everything bold and wild. They're trying to be modern and trendy, but they end up showing less diversity. You have a classic approach that seems to be your signature, but you throw in these elements that take you by surprise while staying consistent with the overall design. You have a masterful grasp on color schemes and compositions that match with whatever type of company or event that you're working with," Veronica stated as she carefully poured over the designs.

Alice couldn't believe her ears. This was the best thing she'd ever heard about her work. The most complimentary thing she heard about her assignments before graduation was, "You've come a long way from your earlier work." Obviously, these intensely positive statements about her designs were new to her. She was unsure how to react.

"Oh, thank you so much. It's really refreshing to hear," Alice sputtered.

"You don't usually get compliments like this?" asked Veronica with incredulity.

"Not typically. This much enthusiasm is so hard to come by. Interviewers tend to verbally destroy my work if they don't like it," Alice answered.

Veronica's face became more sober, as if she were thinking about what to say next. Then she said, "You know, there is a lot of competition out there. Educators and employers in this field have to weed out a lot of things that aren't bad but also aren't what they're looking for. People who bash work that doesn't fit their criteria have no idea what the _fuck_ they're even talking about."

Alice let out an astonished laugh. She knew that she'd like this interview with Veronica. Even if she didn't get the position, she would still leave this office with a boost of confidence that might help her later on.

"It's true! Sometimes real skill and talent pass them by because they weren't analyzing the work correctly. It's their loss. You eventually find a place that values your style, and you stick with them," Veronica sighed. "But now it's time to get down to business. Let's take a look at your résumé, and then I'll ask you a few questions."

Veronica happened to be impressed by the fact that Alice worked consistently since the age of 16 at only two different jobs. In her words, it showed great work ethic. After this, she toned down her energy a little and began asking more standard interview questions. Alice explained why she wanted to be a designer, where she saw herself in the next five years, why she wanted to work there, and why she thought she should get a position there—among many other things. Veronica seemed to have an endless stream of questions for Alice, though she answered them flawlessly. Her nerves had calmed down tremendously, and she was comfortable talking with Veronica. They even started cracking jokes and laughing together about the common types of artists that one encounters at school and on the job. Alice felt as if she were talking to a long-time friend.

Suddenly, Veronica's desk phone beeped with a call on the intercom. She picked it up and said, "Oh, hello!" There was a smile on her face and also a look of puzzlement, too.

"Sure. Um, yes. We're almost done here." She paused and then said, "Right. Yeah, I'll be there in a second. Mhmm. Bye!"

Alice looked at her and asked, "Are we out of time?"

"No, I just have to step out for a moment. I'll be back soon, and we can finish up." Veronica quickly got up and took Alice's binder under her arm. Then she left the office, closing the door behind her.

Alice wasn't sure what to think about the call on the intercom. Now that she was alone in the room, she had nothing to do but think about how things were going. Her nervousness came back and filled her head with negative ideas. _What if things aren't going as well as I think they are? Could Veronica just be acting nice even though she's already decided on other candidates?_ It seemed like 20 minutes had passed since Veronica excused herself, but in reality it was way less. Alice wished she had something to distract herself from her own insecurity and boredom, but she didn't dare to pull out her phone in case the woman returned at that moment. Just when the panic set in, the door opened and Veronica stepped back in. However, the door remained open with her waiting just inside.

"It's a little unusual, but Mr. Beringer has requested to see you in his office across the hall," Veronica declared with some bewilderment and a little of what Alice thought was amusement as well.

"Wait, that's an office? I thought it was a conference room!" Alice exclaimed. She shook her head and asked, "More importantly, why did he ask to see _me_?"

"It is unusual. I'm not sure why he wanted to see you, but I guess you'll find out." Veronica looked at Alice's expression and added, "Oh, don't be scared. He's a very nice and down-to-earth guy. I'm sure it's not a huge deal."

Alice took a deep breath and walked across the hall. The door was closed this time, so she knocked on the large wooden door. The left side swung open for her, and a voice told her to come in. She walked in without glancing at Mr. Beringer and looked around again, saying, " You have a beautiful office Mr. Beringer. It's...," Alice trailed off.

She'd turned back to address Mr. Beringer in mid-sentence, and in that instance she finally realized why she'd gotten such a familiar vibe from him.

"Trent?" She inquired in an uncharacteristically high-pitched voice.

"Alice...it's been a long time," said Trent in his distinctively soft, deep voice.

#  _Chapter 2_

Alice was 16, a sophomore at West Grove around six years ago. She had already developed an intense interest in art, creating paintings and taking classes to practice the skills she possessed naturally. That year, she decided that she was also fascinated with what she could do on a computer. Alice signed up for a Computer Design class as an elective. On her first day in the class, she sat next to a tall and somewhat nerdy kid of whom she didn't think much. From day one, he constantly bothered her. Staring at her computer while they both were supposed to be working, asking her obvious questions about the assignments, and eventually probing for personal details about her life were all things he did to get on her nerves.

Alice couldn't deny that he had a certain charm about him. He always told jokes that made her laugh uncontrollably. Their teacher, Mrs. Page, had a poor attitude and never failed to insult her students' work in front of the class, until Trent began insulting her right back. He stuck up for his classmates and made everyone laugh in the process—although this got him sent to the office over and over again. His parents didn't approve, as he told Alice then. On the bright side, the trips became fewer and further between when Mrs. Page learned to treat the class with more respect. Even after this, he took pictures of the teacher and edited them on a computer for comic effect. He showed Alice every time, and she had a hard time suppressing her laughter to keep his "projects" a secret.

About three weeks into the semester, he asked Alice out to dinner. Reluctantly, she agreed. Sure, he annoyed her a little bit, but he also made her laugh. Not to mention that he was sort of cute with his oversized glasses, shaggy hair, and beautiful brown eyes. A couple of nights later, Alice and Trent went on their date. They ate some potato wedges and pickles before bowling, and he showed a sweet side of himself that she hadn't known about. At the bowling alley, Trent really acted amusing. He cheered Alice on loudly when she hit a lot of pins. Conversely, he booed when she rolled the ball into the gutter or hit fewer than four pins. She started to make fun of his bowling skills, which were more mediocre than hers. It was a nice night, so they took a short walk after playing a few games. Both of them shared stories about their lives, especially of their overbearing and overprotective parents.

Alice wasn't aware that they'd have so much in common. They had similar family lives along with similar life goals. Trent revealed himself to be more of a creative individual than she thought when she met him. His need to produce art didn't end with "photoshopping" pictures of Mrs. Page. Alice didn't want the night to end, but she really had to be home by 9 o'clock. From the sound of things, his parents wouldn't be pleased if he got home late either. When he pulled up to her house to drop her off, she took a chance and kissed him on the lips. Before his surprise could wear off, Alice ran up to her door. She took one glance back to Trent before going inside. His face was completely flushed, but he looked like he'd just won the lottery.

For a few weeks, they frequently called, texted, and met with each other. He sometimes teased her, but otherwise, Trent made her feel like she was the most beautiful girl he had laid his eyes on. He didn't make much of a first impression, but Alice thought his kissing skills were way above average for guys their age—not that she'd kissed many guys by that point. He was only a year older than she was, so his "talents" couldn't really be explained. When Alice and Trent kissed, her body tingled with excitement. She always became extremely hot and aroused. His hands knew just where to go when they passionately swirled their tongues together. He never let them travel to private places of her body...unless she guided them there. Trent liked to drag his fingers slowly and softly down her sides and back. Too softly to be a tickle, but enough to make her nerves quiver with pleasure. Sometimes when they were lying down, Trent rolled on top of Alice and caressed her legs and thighs, wrapping them around him. Other times, he simply held her face in his hands. For some reason, this was her favorite thing. Once enough time had passed, Alice knew that she was ready to fully give herself to him.

It wasn't just a great physical connection they had. It seemed as though Trent was the only one who would listen to Alice. She could come to him with problems, and he'd give her a little advice after hearing her out. Even though they were from different worlds, with Trent coming from a wealthy family, he understood exactly what she was going through with her mother. He brought a sense of humor and deep intelligence to any situation they encountered together. Alice started to love him profoundly, and she knew he felt the same way. Even when he acted like an ass, Trent was all she could have ever wanted. Before they knew it, five months had passed. It didn't seem like much time at all to Alice, but at the same time she felt like she'd known Trent her whole life.

Around this time, his work schedule became demanding. He was hardly free at times he would normally spend with her. The summer worked much better, though they seemed to have less and less privacy than before. Still, they tried to make their time together count even more when they could see each other. When school started back up again, their time together took another hit. Because he was starting his senior year, his parents got on his case about doing extra-curricular activities. Trent and Alice rarely saw each other anymore. He claimed to be busy with homework and various projects. It wasn't just the lack of time that worried her though.

Around late fall, he became distant, like he wasn't as willing to talk to her or touch her while they were in the same room. They no longer met at his house, where they had the most seclusion. These factors made Alice feel like she wasn't valued as much. Because Trent stopped talking to her about his life, she wondered if he even loved her anymore. He kept avoiding talks when she asked him if anything was wrong. Alice didn't want to separate, but it seemed to her like he wasn't invested in the relationship anymore. She couldn't handle the feeling of abandonment she felt in his absence.

One day the following February, Alice pulled him aside in the hallway and told him their relationship wasn't working out for her anymore. Trent looked cheerless, but he didn't seem distraught to her. He said few words, and didn't try to stop her from walking away. Alice was hurt and infuriated by his reaction. She knew that he must not have loved her the way he claimed before. Her heart was completely broken, and she left school early that day to be alone and recover from her grief. Karen behaved supportively, to Alice's surprise. It was the one time she thought she could act like herself and talk to her mother.

After the breakup, Alice only saw Trent from afar. He avoided areas where she usually walked to classes and places she went in her free time. His graduation came without them ever speaking again. Alice's junior and senior years were a blur of homework and night shifts at Queen Burger. She didn't really have time for another relationship. After graduation, the main focus became design school and her new job. Her heart may have healed, but she never forgot the love they temporarily shared and the pain of separation.

"Yeah, it has been a while," Alice said without looking away from his eyes. She was starting to get lost in his gaze, and she quickly broke it to look around the room. "So this is what you've been up to."

"This is what I've been doing..." he trailed off awkwardly, still staring intently at her. His eyes showed a look of sadness, belying the bashful grin he put on when Alice first placed her eyes on him.

"I didn't recognize your last name," she stated.

"It's my mom's maiden name. My parents got a divorce, and I didn't really want to be associated with my dad any longer," he said sadly.

"I'm sorry to hear that. How's she doing?" Alice sincerely wanted to know.

"Things were rough there for a good amount of time, but she's back on her feet now. She lives in the same house with my new stepdad," Trent said, shifting closer to her.

"I'm glad to hear that she's all right," she said before pausing. "You, know, I didn't realize who you were when I saw you earlier. You've grown up a lot. You look really great," she hesitantly told him.

She meant every word. Impossibly, he seemed to have gotten taller. He'd already been quite lanky in high school. Since then, however, his body had filled out some. Alice could see the new muscles hidden under his slim-fitting dress shirt. Shaggy hair was replaced by a shorter cut on the sides, with the slightly longer hair on top styled up and back. Trent now sported reasonably sized black glasses that suited his more chiseled jaw and cheekbones excellently. The only feature that hadn't changed was his eyes. They were just as gorgeous as the first day she looked into their dark brown, almond-shaped depths framed by thick eyebrows. Alice couldn't control the feelings brewing inside her. She started to sense the same knot tightening in her stomach that was present when she spoke with Trent last. It was like no time had passed, and she was almost lost in the flood of emotions.

"Thanks. You look good, too. Honestly," Trent said, snapping Alice out of the very short daze that came over her.

"So why did you ask to see me?" she wondered aloud as she brought her eyes back up from the floor to meet his.

"I wanted to offer you a special position. Something that has a lot of responsibility attached to it," He brought his hand up to scratch his head. "Basically, you'll head a new branch of the design department, if you decide you want the job."

"Oh, wow! Thank you so much! Am I even qualified for that? I mean, I don't want you to offer me a position this great just because we were...because we knew each other well," Alice stammered with her eyebrows raised. She was so taken aback that she had trouble speaking. Her skirt provided a place to wipe her sweaty palms, which she attempted to do without Trent noticing.

"I'm not offering you this job because of our past," he assured her. "Yes, part of it is because I know you, but only because I know that you're ambitious and have a good work ethic. I looked at your work already. You have just the style I'm looking for. Veronica told me that she was going to hire you without any prodding from me. She actually said that we _need_ you on our team, and I agree with her. The fact that she vouched for you is so important to me. She's a great judge of character. Veronica hasn't steered me in the wrong direction yet."

"Okay," said Alice, her demeanor considerably more relaxed. "But what exactly will I be doing?"

"I'm not sure if Veronica told you, but we need the entire look, functionality, and experience of the website to be recreated. I'm looking for something that has a classic feel with hip, modern design elements thrown in. Your work seems to embody that better than anyone that we've interviewed. Basically, I will give you a new goal each month that you have to plan out and draw up initial designs for. You'll then run these directly to me. Once I okay everything, you'll take them to the design team to have them finalize a number of designs per person. Then you'll pick the best ones, and we'll review them together. Eventually, we'll have it all planned out, and we can launch the new look and format of Jitter," Trent articulated quickly.

"Whoa. That's a huge deal. I never thought I'd be given this much responsibility. Ever," she gasped. All of this information combined with seeing Trent again began to overwhelm her completely.

"Do you want to know your starting salary?" he asked.

She shook her head up and down slowly. Trent moved even closer to her and whispered into her ear. Alice felt his warm breath flow across her sensitive skin. The familiar tingle came back. This time it started on her ear, moving down her neck and into her shoulder. A shiver rolled down her spine. She was so wrapped up in this sensation that the number he whispered almost didn't register. Alice took a step back, her heart beating much faster than before. She imagined herself pulling Trent into a hard embrace and kissing his smooth, full lips. She knew he wouldn't want that though, and she knew she didn't either. _He stopped caring about me years ago. Now he just wants to help me out of pity or some other reason I don't understand. Anyway, now I have Daniel in my life._ After a few seconds, she came back to herself. She pulled her gaze back up to him.

"That's...a lot of money. Uhh, I'm really sorry, but can I have some time to think about it? It's just a lot for me to process right now," she said without much breath left in her lungs. She felt as if she were on the verge of panic.

"Look, I know this is the kind of job you've always dreamed of having. It must be at least a little awkward working for me after all this time and the way things ended. What's past is past though. I'm not pressuring you. I just want you to think about it. You can let me know your answer by next Tuesday. Here's my number," he stated while handing her his personal business card. "If you decide to be a part of the team, you can start whenever you finish your current job. Then I can get you set up and introduce you to everyone."

"All right, Trent. I'll give it some thought. It shouldn't take me too long to come to a decision," Alice said, despite being unsure how long it might take for her to make a choice this intense.

Trent stepped closer and touched her arm. "I hope to hear from you soon," he said in a low voice. His soulful eyes brimmed with expectation.

"All right...bye," Alice uttered as she looked back into his eyes. Neither pulled back right away.

She finally stepped away and walked out of Trent's gigantic office. Veronica was waiting with her large portfolio and binder across the hall. Alice said her goodbye to Veronica, attempting to disguise her confused emotions and discomfort. While she made her way back to the parking garage, she replayed the whole ordeal in her head over and over again. Alice cursed fate for combining the most amazing opportunity she'd probably ever receive with the most uncomfortable situation she could think of. It was going to be a rough week.

There wasn't an opportunity to speak with Daniel in person about her entire experience at Jitter until Thursday afternoon. Alice wasn't only nervous about the idea of taking the job and what that would mean for her. She wasn't confident about the way Daniel would feel on the subject of her unusual interview, but she hoped he wouldn't react too negatively. She found a decent parking spot a block away from his apartment and walked slowly from her car. _He probably won't want me to take the job. I don't even know if_ _I_ _want it anymore._

Alice spoke through the intercom for Daniel to buzz her in. She walked even more slowly up the stairs. He was most likely wondering what took her so long. When she got to the landing for the third floor, Daniel stood at his door with a concerned look in his eyes.

"You were pretty vague about what happened on Tuesday. Did they offer you the job?" he asked.

"Yes, but there's another element I'm not sure how you're going to take. _I_ don't even know how to react," Alice responded. "Let's sit down for this one."

"Oh..." he said

Alice took his hand and walked him over to the couch, where she slowly sat with him beside her. It took her a few moments to figure out how she would tell Daniel. Then she decided that it didn't matter what reaction he had to her job situation. She was already on the fence about it anyway. Her current frame of mind was one that would allow her to endure it _or_ walk away without looking back. If she took the position, she'd at least have a nice addition to her résumé no matter how long she stayed. If she didn't accept the offer, she would just go back to searching like she had been already. She wasn't struggling; she was simply unsatisfied with the monotonous work she did currently. Either decision would result in success, whether immediate or eventual.

"What has you so worried?" Daniel asked to break the silence caused by Alice's internal dialogue.

"After my interview, which turned out nicely..." Alice began.

"Great!" interrupted Daniel before saying, "Sorry. Carry on." He smiled apologetically.

"It's okay," she said while snickering slightly. "Anyway, when my interview was finished, the creator of Jitter called me into his office to talk to me about the position personally."

"Does that happen regularly there?" he questioned.

"Based on the response his request got from my interviewer, I'm going to say, 'No.'" Her expression became sterner. "He wants me to work directly with him. If I take the job, I'll be totally redesigning the look of the website and overseeing the work of other designers. It's an amazing position. I'll be making $1,500 a week!"

"What the hell?!" Daniel cried. "Take the job! What's stopping you?"

"The one issue is that the CEO is my ex-boyfriend from high school," Alice said firmly.

"Oh," Daniel's face fell, his excitement obviously draining away. "That must have been an awkward conversation."

"Yes, it was," she replied grimly. "I don't want to keep looking for another job with something this enormous in my lap, but I don't know if I can handle the discomfort of working with Trent. This position has me working very closely to him."

"Has he done anything to make you feel uncomfortable about him?" Daniel asked with evident worry.

"No, nothing like that. It's just a shock to me. That's all. It's already an odd experience working with a complete stranger on a project this big, but an ex? That's a whole new territory."

"If that's the case, I'm leaving it up to you. This sounds like a once-in-a-lifetime chance. Don't let your reservations about someone who's no longer a part of your life force you to run away from that," he said encouragingly. "Look, I don't know this guy, but he obviously has a good head on his shoulders to have gotten where he is now. If he really starts making you nervous, then you can pull out. Until then, don't let your history ruin your future. With that being said, I trust your instincts. You can choose what works best for yourself in the long run."

"Thank you," Alice told him. "I think I know what I'm going to do now. I'm going to take the job."

Alice felt that she'd made the right decision by talking with Daniel in person. She leaned over and gave him a strong hug. He put his arms around her and sat back. Warmth spread from her stomach to all of her limbs. Alice didn't know what she'd do without his support or advice. She could barely even remember the feelings that caused her to hesitate on this decision in the first place. Her relationship with Trent had ended five years ago. There was nothing left for either of them. She knew she belonged with Daniel, and she felt that she could persevere through any strange feelings at her new job. _After all, many people have gone through a lot worse in order to succeed in their careers._ _The adult world doesn't wait for those who hesitate._

Alice kissed Daniel on the forehead and said, "I have a call to make."

She dialed the number from Trent's business card and waited for an answer on the line.

"Trent Beringer speaking. How can I help you?" Trent said.

"Hi, it's Alice."

"Alice! I didn't expect to hear from you so soon. You seemed like you were having a hard time with the offer." His excitement was audible over the phone

"I made up my mind. I want the position. This isn't something I can really pass up," she said, becoming more thrilled. "I'm in!"

The following two weeks after Alice put in her notice had been excruciating. For one, each day at her data entry job seemed to crawl by at a painfully slow speed. Now that her mind was gearing for the other position, it was harder to bear the mind-numbing work of digitizing countless health records. She was ready to put her efforts into artistic endeavors that would be more rewarding to finish. Her excitement grew and grew with each day that passed. The downside was doubt that also grew at the same time. Alice wondered if she was ready to lead a team of designers at the very beginning of her career. _What if I make a fool of myself in front of people with more experience? Trent might think that my skills don't match the talent he thought he saw in me._

These weren't the only thoughts worming their way into Alice's head. She had insecurities about her work relationship with Trent as well. When she admitted to herself that she felt things the day of her interview that she hadn't experienced in years, she questioned her ability to withstand those confusing emotions while being around her ex. The sentiments might keep bubbling up to overwhelm her at every turn, hampering her performance on the job. _No. I won't let all that ruin what I have going for me. That would be just as unnecessary as walking away. I'm going to focus on getting my job done correctly, and those feelings will ultimately disappear._

By the time her two weeks came to an end, she was a bundle of nerves. Her brain couldn't let her be either thrilled or anxious for any significant amount of time. She had many ups and downs during each day. The morning of her first day at Jitter brought her a strange mixture of joy and foreboding. While walking from the parking garage, Alice realized that she was being completely ridiculous. She was drawing conclusions about a job she hadn't tried yet. Never before had she encountered problems in leadership roles, and she did have some measure of artistic endowment. _I obviously impressed_ _someone_ _. Now, I simply have to follow through by showing more of what I've been doing this whole time. As for Trent, he's someone from my past. That's all. I can't let my emotions run high for something that happened five years ago. Especially not now that I'm with Daniel._

After her positive self-talk, she walked out of the elevator to the 14th floor with more confidence than the first time she'd set foot there. Alice made her way to Veronica's office to fill out some paperwork and receive a tour and introductions. Veronica didn't bother hiding her enthusiasm that Alice had taken the job when she opened her office door. They started out with Alice filling out and signing what seemed like 10 documents for employment. After that, Veronica took her on a grand tour of Jitter headquarters. They stopped by accounting, programming, marketing, and finally the design area. Alice and Veronica walked into a somewhat large room with about 40 dark wooden cubicles. Each one had a person sitting inside, appearing hard at work. Most cubicles were decorated according to the employees' tastes. Alice saw one woman with cat drawings and posters stuck on the walls. Another designer had placed a black bed sheet over his cubicle and strung up Christmas lights on the inside, giving it a cave-like atmosphere.

"This is where you'll be working when you're not meeting with the other designers or Mr. Beringer," said Veronica as she pointed to a large cubicle in a far corner of the room.

It backed up to both walls and had a smaller opening, meaning that she'd have more privacy. No one could walk up behind her. She was overjoyed with this development. Not only did it mean that she didn't have to spend an unbearable amount of time with Trent, but it also meant that she would have a fair amount of privacy while she carried out her work.

"Let's take you to meet your team!" exclaimed Veronica.

"How big is this group?" Alice asked.

"You'll work with 10 other designers on your tasks. How big of a team were you imagining?" Veronica asked as she noticed Alice's calmed appearance.

"I envisioned about 30 people, most of them older and more experienced in the field," Alice replied truthfully, which caused Veronica some laughter.

Alice was a bit relieved to hear that the reality was much more reasonable than her overactive imagination. She'd gotten nervous when she walked into the room and saw how many designers worked for Jitter. Veronica took her to the desks of all 10 people she'd oversee. She introduced Alice to Rudy, Jessica, Melanie, Tom, Randeep, Katie, Beth, Jake, Alisha, and Kevin. Many of them were new to the company, and some appeared to be even more nervous than Alice had been. However, everyone seemed to have a great attitude. Alice thought she might like this job after all. Finally, Veronica took her back up to Trent's office to receive briefing on the work for the first week.

"Okay, I'm going back into my office while Mr. Beringer takes over from here," Veronica told her as she walked right across the hall.

Alice knocked on the door, hearing quick footsteps immediately afterward. Trent yanked the door open to welcome her. He had a look of sheer delight on his face, which worried Alice again. Trent wore slim black dress pants with a sky blue button up shirt. His tie had large black polka dots on a solid purple background. Inside each dot was the face of a different puppy. Seeing this, Alice let out a guffaw that she instantly regretted.

"What's funny?" Trent asked her

"Well, it's your tie," she answered shyly.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot I was wearing this. I like to mix things up a little bit. I can't let myself be taken too seriously. That's one thing I didn't bargain for when I started this company. Even Veronica has refused to call me anything other than Mr. Beringer since she started here. Plus...you know how much I love dogs," Trent went on.

"I remember!" Alice laughed again.

"Speaking of that, I have an old friend who wants to see you." Trent looked back and whistled.

Alice heard a jingling from behind Trent's desk. Out trotted a grey and tan husky that looked like it was somewhat annoyed to be bothered. It turned its head toward Alice and Trent before bounding over.

"Sam? Oh, my God. Sam! How are you, big boy? You've gotten even cuter since the last time I saw you!" Alice exclaimed.

Sam rolled over and let Alice rub and scratch his belly. When she stopped, he grunted and leapt up to lick her face.

"Aww, he got me! Right on the lips!" Alice wailed.

Trent laughed heartily and told Sam to sit.

"I can't believe you still have him! How old is he now?" she asked Trent.

"He's only six years old. I didn't really want to leave him with my mom, so I took him with me to the city. I hate to leave him home alone all day, so he comes with me to work. The perks of being the boss...Wow, it looks like he really missed you. He never greets anyone like this!" Trent said.

"I really missed this guy, too," Alice replied as she kneeled down to pet Sam.

She looked up and saw Trent looking attentively at her, like he was trying to choose his next words carefully. After a moment, he turned away and sat in a nearby chair.

Gazing down at her, Trent asked, "So how have you been since high school?"

"Well, I made it through college unscathed. I was trying to find a decent job for four months while working full-time at St. Edward's. That was demanding. What else? I haven't talked to my dad for a while. After I left for college, he just sort of disappeared. I wasn't able to reach him when I tried calling," Alice said with a hushed sadness.

"That must've been really hard for you. You were pretty close to him before," he said empathetically.

"It did really hurt for a while, especially because I don't talk to my mom as much anymore. Her behavior hasn't made the situation better. I can't stand the way she picks at my life like she thinks I could've done better for myself. There's just no winning with her," Alice sighed. "It's not all bad though. I'm finally doing what I set out to do. I can now say that I work for a big social networking site, and I have a great boyfriend, too."

"Oh...," Trent trailed off and his face fell. "He's a nice guy?"

"Yeah, he's really helped me out. Daniel is the reason I heard about this job, and he's kept me from going insane these last four months," Alice told him.

"That's good to hear. I hope he makes you happy. You really deserve that," he said while looking at the floor.

She immediately wanted to change the subject. Her heart pounded again. "What about you? How did you get to this point?" she asked while pointing her finger around the office.

"My parents split not too long after I graduated. My dad left and never looked back. Because of the circumstances, my mom was able to keep the house and much of what they accumulated after marriage," Trent revealed.

"Circumstances?" asked Alice.

"My dad found someone else. My parents had been fighting viciously all through my senior year, and then he revealed that he was cheating on her. She tried for a while to forgive him, but one day he packed some things and left to live with the other woman. It took my mom a long time to get over that. Her lawyer told her that there was no way she wasn't going to get what she wanted. Too bad New York has some no fault divorce laws; she would've gotten a lot more," Trent said gruffly.

"That's horrible," she uttered.

"She went through some rough patches and personality shifts, but she's made a full recovery. She's back to being a complete bitch again," he whispered toward the end.

They both laughed wildly at that. It took Alice completely by surprise. She'd never told Trent how badly she hated his mother. Alice still felt terrible about what happened between Trent's parents, but she couldn't forget how many snide comments his mother had made about her wardrobe and other aspects of her life.

"She never believed I could come this far, but I did it. I came up with the idea for Jitter in my senior year of high school. Everyone said I was just wasting my time and energy. I talked to a lot of investors who didn't think this idea would go anywhere, but look at me now! I finally found people willing to put money toward my website, and it's because of them that this became so successful. But also because of my impeccable business practices and fantastic imagination," Trent gloated lightheartedly.

"Don't get too full of yourself!" Alice shouted. "Though I bet your mom and those other investors are kicking themselves now."

Trent chuckled and said, "You're absolutely right."

They both looked back at each other and smiled. Alice felt her heart clenching. Trent hadn't changed much to her. Sure, he was more responsible and grown-up in appearance, but he hadn't lost the vitality and sense of humor that he originally had. His eyes were as expressive as ever, letting Alice know hints of his mood and what he was thinking. He didn't seem to let his success get to his head. Before this, she was afraid that he might have become more serious and arrogant. On the contrary, he seemed to have remained completely grounded regardless of the improvement of his looks, physique, and financial status. He was the same man she fell in love with years ago.

"Let's look over some things," Trent finally told her as he stood up and walked over to his desk.

Alice had a difficult time trying not to focus on his ass when he walked away from her. It had really plumped out from his scrawnier days. She imagined that it would be very tight and firm to the touch. _I have to keep it together. There's no way I can concentrate on my work if I think about Trent sexually or emotionally. He's my boss now, and I have to treat him that way._ Her personal and work life could become very confusing if she let her attentions run wild. Alice shook her head and attempted to clear her thoughts.

He came back with a very thick binder that he placed on the table near Alice, and they both looked at it as he flipped it open. Sam padded over to Alice's feet and plopped down on them.

"Lazy dog!" Trent directed this statement to Sam. "Okay. These are all of the immediate and long-term goals for the redesign. I've been working on this for a few months, and it'll give you and your team a starting point and some guidance. I also have a lot of ideas about what I'm looking for in there. You can follow them or improve them if you think you have better ideas, but you'll always end up running your designs by me."

"Is there any time limit on getting through the entire binder?" Alice was concerned about her ability to keep up with the sheer number of tasks involved with the remodel.

"Ideally, I want to have everything finalized and ready to launch in five months. That's only a goal though. We can push that back if you all need more time to work through the details." Trent looked at the worry evident on her face. "I know the amount of work to do seems overwhelming, but you can handle it. Remember, you have a whole team to delegate these tasks to. You're not alone."

"You're right. I'll do my best to get through these," Alice said confidently.

She asked him a few more questions on the overall look he wanted to achieve. He flipped through more pages, pointing out notes and quick sketches he planned out. As he talked more, she thought she was getting a better sense of what he wanted to see and how she would bring that to reality. For another hour and a half, they discussed more of his and her ideas and expectations. Thinking about all of this future work and her newly forming inspirations was keeping her from having any sexually oriented thoughts about Trent.

Once they reached a satisfactory stopping point, he told Alice that she could either go down to her desk and get started or leave for the day. She decided that she would go back home and decompress. She felt like she had earned some relaxation after all the excitement of the day. That way, she could better prepare herself for the next day's labor. Alice said her goodbyes to Trent and Sam, and then she crossed the hall to chat with Veronica for a few minutes.

The entire drive home was filled with thoughts about Trent: his voice, his laughter, every feeling she had earlier when he was near her. She couldn't shut it off. It was like a flip had been switched when she saw him for the first time in years. Alice was aware of how absurd she was being about him. She worked for Trent now, and she had to erase all feelings for him for her and Daniel's sake.

The second she got to her apartment, she put on some music and started the shower. Steaming hot showers usually helped reset her mind, and she hadn't taken a long one in a few weeks. Alice desperately needed to meditate, focusing on anything other than Trent. Unfortunately, her mind crept up to thoughts of him still.

Her head flooded with images and sensations of his arms around her, her face pressed against his bare chest. She wondered how it would feel for their lips to touch again and for his tongue to enter her mouth. As hard as she tried to avoid these thoughts, they resurfaced again and again. She felt intense warmth radiating from her face and her pussy. Without stopping to think, she brought her fingers down to spread herself open, and then she lightly rubbed her clit in slow circles. She knew the only way to get her mind off of Trent for now was release.

Alice went on, imagining his firm, muscular ass. She wanted to grab onto both cheeks and squeeze while he filled her up with his thick, lengthy cock. As she continued to work her clitoris with the index finger of her right hand, she massaged her tits and rubbed her nipples with the other. She loved it went Trent had sucked on her nipples during sex. They were so sensitive that she'd quiver and moisten even more.

After some time, Alice began to feel the tightening and releasing inside of her. She was really sweating now, and the tingle started to surface around her clit. Now she placed a couple fingers inside of herself and applied pressure upward, just where she wanted it. She imagined Trent's entire shaft sliding in and out, in and out. The rush came closer, making her legs somewhat weak. Her back hit the shower wall, and she let out a low moan, almost unaware. Alice closed her eyes, feeling the water beat against her body. The pressure building was almost unbearable. She pretended the sensation in her pussy came from Trent shoving his dick inside of her, harder and faster. Each moment brought her closer to the edge, thinking about his body against and within her. All the muscles in her body tensed up, and she sucked in a few ragged breaths.

Then she came. The warmth rushed all throughout her legs and stomach and out of her vagina at the same time. She felt a hot pouring sensation running down her thigh, and she knew she'd squirted a little. In a daze, she barely maintained her upright posture against the wall. Alice carried on rubbing between her legs and slightly gyrating her hips. With the contractions still occurring, she let herself slide down the wall until she sat on the floor of the bathtub. While she sat there, the orgasm increased in intensity once more. She lay back and caressed her extra sensitive folds and inner thighs. Waves and waves of pleasure emanated from her pussy, and it took a little while for them to soften and slow down. Finally, she opened her eyes again and took deep breaths. Her toes curled and uncurled, and she knew she was done.

Alice was a little light-headed as she got up and washed herself off with some soap. She couldn't get over the ferocity of that orgasm. It was the best one she'd ever received on her own. Her knees were still weak from the aftermath when she got out of the shower at last. _Holy shit._ Releasing those desires was exactly what she needed to cool down after her almost obsessive thought patterns about Trent earlier. Now, she could kick back and enjoy the rest of her night.

Alice's phone rang from the other room while she toweled off her hair, and she rushed to pick it up. She saw that it was Daniel from his contact photo on the screen. _Oh, what horrible timing._ Alice answered the call.

"Hey, baby!" she said rather breathlessly.

"Why do you sound so out of breath? Did you run a mile or something?" Daniel asked.

"No, no. I just got out of a really hot shower and rushed to pick up the phone," Alice replied. "What's up?"

"Oh, I just wondered if I could come over tonight," he said suggestively.

She cringed at the awkward thought of seeing him right after masturbating to her ex-boyfriend, particularly if he expected to fool around tonight. _Why not? It wouldn't be the first time that I've gotten more than one orgasm in a night. Maybe having sex with Daniel will really bring me down to earth again. Keep my mind from going where it shouldn't be._

"Yeah, I'd really like that," Alice responded with a smile on her face. "You could make your way over whenever you want. I'll be ready by the time you get here."

"Okay, I'll see you in a little bit," Daniel said. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied, feeling more than a little guilty.

He made his way over 40 minutes after they talked on the phone. When Alice opened the door, he had a grocery bag full of food supplies. He proceeded to make them both a black bean burger and quinoa meal. By the end of the night, things had turned out much better than she thought they might. She got over the awkward feeling of seeing Daniel right after fantasizing about Trent. While they talked and laughed, Trent was no longer in the forefront of her thoughts. As soon as Alice noticed this, she was relieved. She'd been a little afraid that her feelings about Trent were more than physical. _See? I just needed some alone time to get rid of my nagging sexual desires toward Trent._

Alice really focused on what Daniel was saying, and she felt much better about the way things were going. She even felt herself becoming aroused again, to her surprise. They ate dinner closely together, their legs rubbing together under the table. Once they finished, they tossed their dishes into the sink. Daniel went into the other room and lay on Alice's bed, looking at her expectantly. Alice returned a meaningful look and walked over to the bed. She was ready to experience a different kind of pleasure than she'd gotten in the shower earlier, and that's exactly what she did.

It had been more than a week and a half since Alice's first day at Jitter, and things were returning to a relative normal for her. The double pleasure of having two separate orgasms in one night had knocked her hormones down a notch. She really wasn't having the same thoughts that she had that first day. Sex with Daniel had not only been great, but it had also reaffirmed her love and physical attraction to him. She wasn't going to let some strange emotional and bodily response to seeing her ex get in the way of what they had. It's not that she didn't still have an errant thought every now and then, but she wasn't on edge the way she was before.

What made things easier for her was that Trent left for a series of business meetings on her second day, and he wasn't due to return for a few more hours. Alice had immensely enjoyed the time she spent working by herself and meeting with her coworkers. She'd given them many of the smaller tasks that she had little time for. Most of her attention was on the cultivation of an overall feel. After hours and hours putting together designs, she'd come a long way. Her team seemed to know exactly where she was going after a few meetings as well. They came through and delivered very good work, which they critiqued and improved a couple of times before completion.

Reviewing all the work she and her team had done, Alice felt that Trent would be extremely pleased with their progress. Veronica looked at a few things the team put together, and she appeared to be overjoyed with everything. "I knew we made a great choice in hiring you!" she'd said.

They had a lot more ground to cover, but the quality they'd put out so far went above and beyond her expectations. This job was finally meeting Alice's hopes of what it would be like to design for a successful company. She took pleasure in every minute she spent there because she finally got to put her creativity to some use. The team got along very well with each other and with Alice, principally Melanie and Kevin—two designers that had been with Jitter from its first few months in that building. They both had an energy that really attracted Alice to them. All three had bounced a lot of feedback and jokes off of each other. Alice could see herself being friends with Melanie and Kevin in the future. She contemplated asking them out for drinks with her and Daniel some time down the road.

While she sat at her desk, Alice thought about the sweet and beautiful moment when she told her mother about the new job last Wednesday. Of course, she decorated the truth a bit to make it all sound more spectacular. Karen's voice held a bit of surprise, alerting Alice to her slight embarrassment for underestimating her daughter's skill and drive. Alice reveled in her mother's discomfort as she explained her salary and responsibilities. Beautiful revenge for all the times that Karen questioned her choices. The moment still brought a smile to Alice's face, and it would probably continue to do so for a few years.

Now, Alice was organizing and preparing all of the current work for Trent's arrival. He'd surely want to see whatever had been completed in his absence. Alice was almost going to leave for a bathroom break when she heard an intercom beep on her desk phone. She pressed the button to let the call through.

"Alice," Trent said.

"Hey, Trent. How was your business trip?" she asked him.

"It went really well. I'm so excited about our future," he said elatedly. "I heard that you have some good work to show me."

"I do. I think you'll like the direction we're heading," Alice informed Trent.

"Well, come up! I can't wait to see it!" he almost shouted.

Alice finished getting all the samples together before rushing to the elevator. Her heart was fluttering in a mixture of fear and excitement. _Oh, great. Here we go again._ She was unsure if her current mood was a result of going to see Trent for the first time since she left work the first day, or if it was due to her nervousness about him seeing the new designs after such a wait. _I guess I'll find out in a couple of minutes._

When Alice rounded the corner to get to Trent's office, he and Sam were waiting for her in front of the doors. The moment he saw her, a goofy grin appeared on Trent's face. He had the most beautiful smile, and Alice knew she was in trouble when she felt her heart skipping. Apparently, her release the previous Monday had done nothing to weaken her feelings for him. She'd only satiated her sexual desires temporarily. Alice's longing was very real and present, despite her denial of the circumstances. Now, she was forced to admit to herself that she still carried a flame for Trent.

It wasn't just a physical desire attached to his looks, his body, or the memory of their preceding sexual encounters. Alice's sentiments went much deeper than that. She wanted to hear his voice, his laughter, and his humorous remarks. Her wish was nothing more than to be in his arms again, his fingers running through her hair. What's more, she felt like an old wound had reopened along with this realization. An ache formed in her chest, and she had to take a deep breath.

_But, why? He didn't want me anymore. He stopped caring, and I had to move on. It's been five years since we broke up. Why can't I get over what happened? Trent must have gone forward with his life the way I should have._ A small part of her wasn't convinced that he _had_ gotten over her though. His eyes told a different story the first time she met him in his office. The sadness in them didn't go unnoticed by her. Alice also caught his expression when she told him about Daniel. He seemed...dispirited. In all of their recent encounters he had not passed up any opportunities to get closer to her or even lightly brush her skin. _Why did he give me this position in the first place? He could have just let Veronica hire me and give me a regular design job, but he asked me to work directly with him or not at all. No, there must have been more on his mind than helping out an old friend. Even if that were the case, I'm not in a position to figure that out._ _I have other priorities now, and I have to put Trent behind me no matter what._ This thought hurt her again, bringing another pang in her chest.

"Are you okay?" Trent asked with concern. "You look really stressed out."

If only you knew.

"No, I'm fine," she lied while artificially perking up. "I'm just a little nervous about showing you what we have so far."

A look of surprise came over him. "You shouldn't be worried at all. It's just _me,_ " he said defensively.

That's what makes it harder!

"You're right," she replied. "I don't know why I was feeling so tense."

They walked into the office with Sam slinking behind them. Alice took a seat at the large table and spread out the designs they'd finished and critiqued so far while Trent stood nearby. She swore she could hear her blood pumping as he walked from left to right, evaluating the work. He remained completely silent, only the sounds of his breath reaching her ears. She was about to pop from the suspense when he gripped the back of her chair. His fingertips were almost touching her shoulder blade. Alice felt the warmth, and it temporarily distracted her from Trent's unspoken evaluation.

Leaning forward to look over her shoulder at the designs, he finally said, "These are perfect! How did you know just what I wanted?"

With his face not too far from hers, Alice became even more unfocused. Heat from his body drifted toward her. She had a hard time coming up with an answer.

"You had some pretty good notes to work from," she rejoined.

"No, this is more than that. You took what I said and went even further. You and your team really delivered!" he exclaimed.

"Thank you!" Alice said with gratitude. "The people you gave me for this project are all awesome. It seemed so effortless to work together."

"You'll have to keep this up. The bad thing about doing so well right away is that I'm going to expect a lot more from you all now," Trent said while looking down at her.

Oh, good. I needed even more pressure from this job.

Trent straightened up and took his hand away from the chair, brushing her shoulder gently as he walked away. She immediately felt a quick jolt, missing the heat that had been emanating from him. _God, how am I going to keep releasing this kind of work if I can't even hold myself together whenever we meet to discuss it?_

"Okay, the next thing I want you to work on is the development of the banners. You can do whatever you want after that's finished, but I really want to see those banners at the end of next week," Trent sounded like he was all business. "But you're finished for the day, if you don't have any questions for me."

Well, I've got some questions, but I don't know if you'll want to answer them.

"If I think of anything, I'll come see you again." Alice picked up the designs and put them back into the folder.

"I'd like that. It gets lonely up here most of the time. I'd have conversations with Sam, but he's a better listener than conversationalist," Trent joked.

Alice looked over at him with a smile, and she saw that look in his eyes again. They were crinkled in a half-hearted grin, but she knew there was more below the surface. She could tell that he'd been serious when he mentioned his loneliness. _Or am I only imagining things? Am I just projecting my own feelings onto him? I have to ignore myself from now on._ She walked toward the doors, petting the dog on the way out.

"Alice," Trent said with slight urgency.

She pivoted around and said, "Yeah?"

"You know...uh...it's nothing. I'll see you next week," He smiled unconvincingly.

Her stomach wrenched. Maybe there _was_ something he needed to tell her. _It doesn't matter now. Everything we had is in the past._ She said goodbye before taking the elevator down to the parking garage.

#  _Chapter 3_

The design was almost right, but there was something missing. Alice couldn't put her finger on the element that would make the potential module look better. _Maybe..._ She had a thought that might be what she was looking for. Alice turned down the opacity on the module and darkened the bordering shadow for a better contrast. _That's it! It might not be finished, but it's a good start._

The clock on her shelf read 4:56. _Wow, I lost track of time._ She was more focused than usual that morning. Time seemed to slip by because she got so wrapped up in improving existing designs. That was one perk of this job; she hardly noticed time passing. It was as if she weren't working at all. Alice gathered her belongings and made her way to the door. Fortunately, she didn't have a meeting with Trent. They would talk about the new concepts and revisions next Tuesday. Until then, she could put her nose to the grindstone and leave when she was finished.

Melanie, Kevin, and Veronica stood near a group of cubicles on Alice's left. They seemed to be sharing a good laugh before they saw Alice walking by. All three looked over as Alice waved goodbye. Veronica's face lit up as she walked over to flag her down. Kevin and Melanie followed close behind.

"Alice!" said Veronica with her usual exuberance. "Are you coming tomorrow?"

"Uh, what's happening tomorrow?" Alice asked.

"You didn't get the email? There's an office party. Everyone in the building is invited, and you can bring someone," said Kevin.

"Oh... No, I had no idea. I was so focused that I never checked my email all day. Should I go?" Alice asked.

"Hell, yeah you should!" Melanie chimed in. "It's gonna be awesome. It'll strictly be the people in this building. No outside business executives like the last 'party.' Everyone was so nervous about being professional that hardly anyone drank or had fun. This time will be way different. We're getting as drunk as we want, and then we'll play strip poker."

Kevin gave Melanie a hard sideways glance.

"Okay, maybe not that last part," Melanie added.

"Mr. Beringer is even hosting the party on the 13th and 14th floors. His office will be open for everyone. We'll have an unlimited supply of free drinks, free food, and some games. A lot of winners end up getting bonuses." Veronica raised her eyebrows a few times. "I plan on letting loose for this one. Gettin' my drink on."

"When are you _not_ letting loose?" Kevin asked.

Veronica let out an exaggerated high-pitched laugh and smacked Kevin lightly on the back of the head. He styled his hair back into place while grinning impishly.

"Well, he does have a point," Veronica remarked.

"This is all I needed to know that I'm going," Alice said while shaking her head. "I can sit back and watch you embarrass yourselves!"

"Trust me, if we get crazy, we are dragging you down with us," said Kevin.

"That's cool, too," Alice replied quickly. "What time is this thing?"

"Starts at 8," said Melanie.

"What's the attire?" asked Alice.

"It's business casual, so you can't wear all those dresses you just bought from Frederick's," Veronica cracked.

All three laughed while Alice gasped and hung her mouth open.

"That's not true! I only get some lingerie there!" Alice sputtered out. "Oh, that's it. I'm gonna get your ass when you least expect it coming. Watch!"

She laughed and turned around to continue her exit, waving when she got to the door. It never occurred to Alice that she would find work friends at a future job. In all of her life, she only worked with people who were uninterested in talking unless the topic was gossip. Conversely, the last job she had really didn't offer her much more than bare minimum interaction with coworkers who were just trying to mind their business and get things done.

The attitudes of everyone at Jitter were refreshing. Motivated people like herself surrounded Alice, but no one took themselves or their positions _too_ seriously. Veronica, Melanie, and Kevin were her absolute favorites. Together, they had a dynamic that made Alice feel so comfortable and giddy at the same time. She couldn't wait to see what a Saturday night with them would be like. After the drudgery and stress of college and post-college life, a party might be just the thing to celebrate her newfound financial success and artistic freedom. She'd done precious little partying in her high school and college careers.

I wonder if Daniel would come with me.

Alice dialed his number as she made her way downstairs. He picked up on the last ring, sounding like he was out of breath.

"Hey, cutie!" he wheezed. "Sorry, I was just moving this heavy bitch of a pedestal."

Alice chuckled, "So there's this impromptu office party tomorrow. I wanted to know if you'd come with me. There'll be lots of drunk people to make fun of, and I want you to meet some of my goofy coworkers."

"Aww, I'm sorry, sweetie. We're having sort of a last-minute showing here at the gallery, too. I'm actually showing more of my stuff this weekend, so I _have_ to be here," Daniel told her.

"Noooo!" Alice whined loudly.

"I know. I really wish I could come with you," he said unhappily. "Why don't you come visit me at the gallery on Sunday? It probably won't be as extravagant or packed as your event, but there'll be some free wraps and veggie trays. I know how much you love those. Oh, and wine!"

"That sounds great to me," she said.

"Good. Well, I have to finish setting up these displays. I'll see you Sunday. Love you!" Daniel stated.

"I love you too!" Alice responded.

_Crap. I guess I'll have to go solo on this one. The upside is that I don't have to worry about the awkwardness of a meeting between Daniel and Trent. It'd be uncomfortable for_ _all_ _of us. I'm positive._

Nonetheless, she remained excited for her weekend out. Most of her friends from high school and college had either moved away from the city or were busy with their own lives. Sometimes, Alice felt a little isolated. Hopefully, this weekend would be a chance to cement some relationships she could transfer to life outside of work. Alice thought about what she was going to wear on the drive home.

The dress was black and somewhat tight in the right areas without revealing much cleavage. Alice liked to leave that to the imagination on most occasions. On her shoulders was a blue blouse that matched her earrings. Her feet slid into two plain black pumps, not tall or skinny enough for her to fall on her face—as she tended to do in high heels. The outfit was classy enough for a business setting, yet cute enough to say that she wanted to have some fun. She'd parted her hair deeply on the side and let it fall down in luxurious waves. The hair almost swooping down over her left eye made her look vaguely mysterious. Alice turned around in front of the floor-length mirror to make sure she looked okay.

Not bad. I won't win any style awards, but I think I look nice enough.

It had just turned 7:45. She grabbed her purse and keys to make her way to the office. Traffic wasn't unbearable, but it did take her longer than expected. She pulled into the garage around 8:24, thinking that most people would probably show up around 9. Alice surveyed the parking garage around her. There seemed to be a lot of cars parked already, with more following behind her. She had to search for a spot close to the elevator. The 13th floor would be her first stop. Alice didn't care to bring her purse around all night, so she'd lock it in her desk before meeting her friends.

When she walked onto the 14th floor, she saw tons of people already standing around with wine glasses or beers. Techno music came from one of the bigger offices to the right. Many of the younger-looking employees were walking into it, presumably to dance. The people walking out were sweating profusely, seeming like they'd been in the room for hours by now. Then came a collective "Ohhhhh!" from somewhere down the hallway. Alice rounded the corner and slipped her way through the throngs of people mingling and eating the food. She finally made her way to Trent's office and peered inside. Where the table once was, several couches lined up in front of the humongous TV instead. Four guys Alice didn't know were sitting on the front couch, playing some sort of racing game. Each person attempted to knock the other players off the track. With every car that sped to first place or got totaled, the whole room made a great deal of noise.

Alice browsed the room looking for anyone she knew. She saw Veronica standing off to the side by Trent's desk, so she made her way over to talk. Veronica seemed to be wrapped up in watching the game. Her hair was in a messy updo, some strands falling out of place. She worked on a drink she had by her side.

"What's goin' on here?" Alice asked, nodding her head toward the TV.

"The first person to get in first place three times wins a thousand dollar bonus. Each round has four new players. There are five more rounds remaining, and I'm signed up for the next one," Veronica said.

"Really? I didn't peg you as a gamer." Alice was thoroughly surprised.

"Oh, yeah. I could blow these little dorks out of the water, even in my almost drunken state!" Veronica informed her.

The current round ended a few minutes later, and Veronica promptly plopped herself down on the couch. She pointed her finger at the other three players and then dragged her finger across her neck.

Damn, she's really serious about this.

Alice watched the game begin, with Veronica immediately causing two players to wipe out. She brought her car into first place and maintained that position to the finish line. Her maneuvering skills were impeccable. Alice wondered how she'd ever gotten that much practice. Both subsequent races occurred in almost the same fashion. Veronica was a speed demon, zipping past the other three cars right away and using brutal tactics to stay ahead. She managed to total a few cars in the process, and she won three games in a row. After the last one ended, she stood up from her seat, held up the controller, and then she dropped it onto the couch.

"Bam!" Veronica bellowed, throwing her hands in the air and thrusting her pelvis.

The whole room cheered as she did a victory dance. Someone sitting nearby wrote Veronica's name on a sheet as the winner for the third round. Finally, she came back toward Alice and picked up the drink she left on Trent's desk.

"That was really impressive! I think you totally emasculated those poor guys. I can see them over there holding their shattered egos," Alice proclaimed.

"As a woman, that's my favorite part of being a gamer. We have to take what victories we can get," Veronica gulped the rest of her drink. "Whoo, feelin' good!"

"I think I need whatever you just had," Alice laughed.

"I'll go order you a zombie," Veronica said.

"Never mind," chirped Alice. "Can you order me a white Russian, please?"

"Comin' up, sweetie!" said Veronica as she walked away.

Soon after Veronica's bar run, Kevin and Melanie spotted Alice. They ambled through the crowded office to reach her. Something appeared strange about them that Alice had never noticed before. It was the way they reacted to one another and their close proximity. Usually their conduct sent friendship signals, but tonight they walked much closer than normal. Kevin was less than a step behind Melanie as they moved toward the corner of the room. When she moved left, so did he. When she slowed, he did also. At one point, Kevin said something that made Melanie laugh hysterically. She turned and looked at him with a wide smile and narrowed eyes. Alice would wager that something more was going on between them.

"Hey!" they both greeted Alice, almost in unison.

"You guys look so sweaty! Were you dancing?" Alice asked.

"No, we were playing beach volleyball downstairs. Trent actually showed up and played with us for a little while. I'm surprised how fun and relaxed he seems. Most of my bosses had sticks up their asses constantly," Melanie said.

"Yeah, he was always that way," said Alice.

"What do you mean by 'always?'" asked Kevin.

"Trent and I went to high school together. He was pretty much the same back then as he is now. Except he was more gangly at 18," Alice responded with a giggle.

Melanie squinted at Alice and said, "Tell me something just to quench my curiosity. Were you and Trent ever an item?"

"Yeah, we went out for about a year," Alice said nervously.

Her face began turning red. She wasn't comfortable with that information becoming common knowledge, but she didn't want to lie to her friends either. Melanie and Kevin turned their eyes and heads slowly toward each other. The looks they shared were puzzling to Alice. She could see their mouths gradually turning up at the corners as they made eye contact. Then, they suddenly burst into laughter.

"Hey, what's funny?" Alice asked with her brow furrowed.

"It's not you, it's just that we guessed that you both had _something_ between you," replied Kevin.

"Really?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. First, we noticed the expressions you had whenever you mentioned his name. You stared off into space for a little bit every time. You also started calling him Trent before any of us ever did. At first, we thought you might just have a crush on him," Melanie responded.

"Wow, I didn't know that I acted like that!" Alice was mortified.

"That's not all. One time, we saw him come down to pay you a visit. They way you both behaved was so...awkward, and not with the usual boss and employer discomfort. There was a tension there. We both thought that it meant something _mutual_ happened," said Kevin.

"There's not anything going on now, is there?" asked Melanie.

"No! No, nothing like that. It's just been hard to get used to being hired by an ex. The whole thing is surreal. I never thought I'd see him again after high school, then I end up here and he's a really successful entrepreneur. So weird!" Alice said, hoping they wouldn't think that anything more had happened.

"That sounds terrible. I'd probably turn down a job offered by _any_ of my exes," said Melanie. "They were all complete dicks."

"Hey, let's get some drinks, Mel," said Kevin. "We'll be right back."

They left Alice to her thoughts. She felt utterly embarrassed that she'd been so transparent about her feelings for Trent. _If Melanie and Kevin were aware of that situation before I told them, how many other people had picked up on it?_ She would have to be more careful and restrained about her behaviors around him now. Apparently, their history was written all over them and legible for anyone to see.

"I'm sorry," said Veronica from Alice's side, handing over her white Russian.

"For what?" Alice said, startled out of her daze and a little puzzled.

"I came around this way to get through the crowd," Veronica said as she pointed. "I overheard some of what you said. I walked away for a little while. I didn't want to be a snoop, but I heard enough to be concerned."

Oh, no. Now Veronica knows! How did I let this all happen?

"Were you and Trent really involved in some way?" Veronica asked.

"Yes, we had a relationship in high school. That's all in the past though. He doesn't mean _anything_ to me now, so it doesn't interfere with our jobs," Alice answered.

She looked down and realized that she'd already finished her drink at some point. When she looked up again, Veronica was looking over her shoulder. Alice turned to see that Trent had been standing right behind her.

Damn it! How long was he there?

"I just wanted to make sure you girls were having a good time," he said, unable to hide his reddened cheeks.

"Oh, we are!" Veronica said with her drink held up.

"That's good to hear. I've got some stuff to do, but you keep enjoying the party. I'll be back soon," Trent said before he walked out of his office swiftly.

Veronica waited before saying, "That couldn't have gotten any more uncomfortable!"

"How much did he hear?" Alice asked.

"Pretty much the whole thing," Veronica said. "I'm not sure who that was more embarrassing for: him or you."

"Ugh." Alice put her hand to her forehead, wanting to hide under a desk immediately. "Probably me."

"Then I think you need another drink now, hun." Veronica grabbed Alice's hand.

"Absolutely," Alice concurred.

"So you're 100 percent sure there's no weirdness between you two, right? I'm just a little worried since I didn't know about any of this until just now," Veronica's motherly voice came out.

"There's nothing to worry about. Trent and I have picked right back up being friends. He's probably just mortified because we don't make our relationship known. We don't really talk about it with each other, even," Alice reassured.

Am I right? Is that why he looked so embarrassed?

"Well...okay," Veronica said reluctantly as they walked over to the bar.

They both met up with Melanie and Kevin at the far side of the bar. They each got a drink—which seemed to take forever—and made their way to the couches to watch people race. Alice thought she wanted to try once the bonus rounds were over. It looked fun, speeding around and taking out aggression on the other players' cars. While they sat talking and waiting, Veronica insisted on grabbing more drinks for Alice. She began to feel quite buzzed. Finally, Alice was able to sit on the front couch and take a controller. _How hard can this be?_ Contrary to her beliefs, she was the worst player in the group. She lost all six races they played, and everyone counted it a victory when she got in third place. It was a miracle that she played one game without totaling her car at all. _Veronica must have a lot of skill to be as good at this game as she was earlier._

For the remainder of the night, they all sat on the couches drinking and chatting about one thing or another. Occasionally, they got up for a plate of snacks to share. Alice saw no trace of Trent for the next few hours. _Maybe he's hurt by what I said. But that doesn't make any sense. He didn't care in high school, and he shouldn't care now. He might just be really embarrassed that Veronica and I were talking about our relationship and work situation._ Her good company took her mind off of Trent for most of the night, however. Alice didn't want to allow herself to be bothered by this situation anymore. She was quite tired of all the emotions and thoughts this job—which should have been her stress-reducing big break—created for her in the last month.

Alice became an active part of the conversations about animal rights, designer shoes, and creepy situations on the train. She hadn't laughed so much in a long time. Veronica and Melanie were both extremely blunt and such a riot. Kevin had more of a dry, witty sense of humor, but he offered a few good remarks. Soon, Alice put the awkwardness of earlier behind her. No one mentioned Trent at all, and she was satisfied with that. Eventually, she began feeling drowsy. The clock said 11:30. _Do office parties normally run this late?_ On one hand, she was surprised that the time had gone so quickly. On the other hand, she was disappointed that she was ready to go home and sleep at 11:30. _What's wrong with me? I used to stay up until 2 in the morning without any problems._

Alice decided to say goodbye to her friends and walk to the elevator. She grabbed a cookie on her way; they'd been so delicious. The elevator ride made her feel extremely dizzy, which lasted a little while after she'd gotten off on the 13th floor. Alice almost tripped as she walked back to her cubicle to retrieve her purse. She hadn't realized how drunk she truly was until she put her body in motion. _This is why I usually don't drink. I'll have to take a cab home._ She recomposed herself and walked more slowly down the hallway. Other coworkers she hadn't seen before were mingling on both sides. Alice was not about to embarrass herself by stumbling around and falling in front of them. Finally, she made it to the entrance of the design space without making herself look like she was completely inebriated.

She looked around the large room and listened to see if anyone else was there. The space was eerily deserted and dimly lit by only a few yellow-tinted wall sconces. She chose her steps carefully and kept her eyes on the ground to avoid stumbling over anything again. It seemed to take much longer than a minute to get to her corner cubicle. Alice slid into her swivel chair and closed her eyes momentarily. If she could have gotten away with sleeping there, she would have kept her eyes closed and nodded off.

No, I've gotta get home. I need to sleep in my bed.

She took the key and fumbled with the lock for a minute. Her lack of coordination and the absence of a great light source kept the key from going in correctly with each try. _Wait a second._ Alice turned the key so that the teeth faced down, and it went in perfectly that time. She picked up her purse, slung it over her shoulder, and turned around to start walking. With her head down, she began searching for her phone. Suddenly, she smacked right into someone. Alice fell backward onto the floor and let out what could only be described as a loud squeak. The contents of her purse spilled out all over.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention," she apologized.

"Don't worry about it. Let me help you," he said as he bent down to pick up her things.

"Trent? Is that you? What are you doing down here?" Alice asked with a shrill voice.

"I needed to find you. I didn't see you when I came back into the office," Trent responded as they finished getting everything into her purse again.

"Did you want to talk about something?" she inquired diffidently.

"I need to know...Alice, why did you break up with me?" His eyes bored into hers as he asked the question. He didn't seem angry, but he had a look of worry on his face.

Alice was completely stunned. Her mouth hung open as she peered up at him from the floor. Trent lent his hand out for help while she decided how to answer. She reluctantly took his hand and stood up. This was the last thing she expected to hear from him. _Is this an attack? Did he only hire me so he could get closer to me and receive some sort of closure?_ Her nerves created a tight knot in her stomach at the thought.

"To be absolutely honest," she began, "I didn't think you cared that much. You spent less and less time with me, and it seemed like you made excuses so you didn't have to see me. When we did get together, you barely touched me! Then you never told me what was wrong. I just felt so unwanted. I assumed you didn't want to be with me anymore, so I tried to move on." Her eyes welled up with tears. It felt like the day she left him all over again.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way. Whenever I think about that time, I could kick myself for not telling you the truth. It wasn't that I didn't love you anymore, I swear," Trent said despondently.

"What was it? You can tell me now," Alice sounded comforting.

After a small delay, he said, "The summer between my junior and senior year was difficult for me. My parents' marriage was in trouble, so they were constantly fighting. They even dragged me into it a few times. Even when they weren't tearing into each other, their attitudes were so malicious that they took a lot of things out on me. Things I had no control over. I was grounded a lot, but not from work or school-related activities. That's why I asked for more hours and started staying after school. It was beneficial for me to be away from their hatred while earning my own money and improving my chances of getting into a good college. I even started working on the plans for this website. I put a lot of time and effort into the details because I wanted to become someone without my parents' help or money. I needed to get as far away from them as I could. The biggest downside was that I saw you less. That whole situation made me so depressed that I wasn't a great boyfriend to you even when we were together. I should have explained what was happening and talked with you about it. I should have treated you like I loved you. Maybe then you would have wanted to stay," he said with tears in his eyes.

This whole time he really did care for me! If I'd known, I never would have let him go.

"God, Trent!" Alice shouted. "If you'd told me this before, everything would be different. Now look where we are!"

"So you didn't mean what you said earlier?" Trent asked.

"No, but I wish I had meant it. I wish you didn't make me feel the way I do. Working with you and seeing you all the time would be so much easier for me," Alice said with anger directed at herself. "I wish we both could have moved on after the breakup."

"I know. I regretted the way I handled our relationship every day. That's why I worked so hard to get where I am now. I had this grand impression that I'd become really successful and build a great life for myself. Then I wanted to look you up, find you somehow, and see if there wasn't still something there for us," Trent told her. "I was in the process of poking around to get your information. A week later, you showed up here. I couldn't believe it! It was like fate finally worked in my favor. I had you so close to me, and I didn't want to let you slip away again."

"No, that's not true at all," she countered. "What fate did was kick us both while we were down. As painful as it is, we can't be together now, Trent. It's too late."

She sobbed agonizingly, and tears ran rivers down her already wet cheeks.

"Maybe it's not too late. I know this wasn't a coincidence. It can't be. You could have ended up anywhere, but you landed right here in front of me. This is it! This it us getting another chance! What if we could be together again, just like before?" he asked with sorrow in his eyes and slight optimism in his tone.

Trent breached the gap between them and took her face in his hands, the way he did years ago, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. They gazed into each other's eyes, wondering if the other person knew what was about to happen. In that moment, neither person cared whether anyone came in and saw them like this. As far as Trent and Alice were concerned, they were alone in that building, in that entire city. Right then, right there, no one would stop them from being together.

He slowly, cautiously brought his lips down to meet hers. Alice couldn't oppose her instincts and what her heart told her. She stretched up and closed the remaining distance. For all the time that had passed, the kiss remained slow and gentle. She tilted her head to the side and let the tip of her tongue part her lips. Trent felt her lips give and opened up slightly to allow her entry. Her tongue found its way into Trent's mouth. Embracing him fully and tightly now, Alice gave up fighting. She let their tongues twist and twine around each other. It was beyond her ability to stop what was happening,

Alice drifted away, carried on a current of euphoric fervor. This was what she'd been missing all this time, yet she was unaware of the hole that had never been filled until now. Everything that came before this—each busy work day, each class attended, each night out—felt as though it had been in a dream. Alice had simply floated along in life, retaining her direction and purpose, but lacking an identifiable meaning. She brushed it off as the pessimistic sentiments of someone who hadn't achieved her goals yet, but now she knew differently. If she had been aware of it, she would not have put someone in Trent's place. She wouldn't have let her heart entwine with Daniel's. No sooner than she thought his name, she regained some of her senses. A quick realization spread through her mind.

Daniel! Oh, God. What am I doing?

Alice abruptly pulled away, her hands now on Trent's chest. Her eyes moved from Trent to the room around them. The dim lights, her desk, her purse on the floor. Nothing had physically changed, but somehow everything was different. Along with this feeling came panic and crushing guilt. Her stomach sank as she pushed further away.

"I can't do this. It's not right," Alice picked up her purse and backed up slowly.

"I'm sorry," Trent said, looking forlorn. "I shouldn't have come on to you. I wanted to kiss you so badly, but not like this. Not now."

Alice paced nervously back and forth, her eyes scanning the floor. "I can't believe I allowed us to get so close. This isn't me. I'm not the woman who gets drunk at a party and kisses her ex-boyfriend. I've been so stupid!" she cried.

Trent was taken aback. A wounded look appeared on his face. "Is that all this moment was to you? A drunken mistake? I thought it was more than that," he said with petulance.

"It can't be!" she yelled. "Maybe if I'd been single when I walked through these doors, we could have shared something. But I'm in a committed relationship, and we can't go back to what we had before. It's not possible now! I'm sorry." She quickly walked around him and continued toward the exit.

"Alice, please!" Trent said as he reached to grab her hand.

Instead, her hand slipped away. She walked even faster, almost running to the door. Alice looked back just once as she reached the portal. Her first love was standing where she'd left him, watching her walk away for good. More tears sprang up. She turned and walked out, unsure if she could handle much more of this pain. _Feeling this terrible is exactly what I deserve for being so weak._ On her way downstairs, she almost sat down to cry in the elevator. Alice tried not to think about how she'd ever get to sleep that night, let alone any other night for the next week.

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### Keep reading for an excerpt from Uncertainty: Volume 2

#  _Chapter 1_

The bedroom felt much colder than usual, almost like a window remained open for a cool breeze to whip through the house. A strong shiver wracked Alice's body while she lay on her bed. She faced away from the closed door, remaining still in the fetal position. Tears slid across her face and hit the bed undisturbed; she hadn't bothered to wipe them in an hour or so. Somewhere in the house, a door opened and closed. Footsteps sounded through the hallway and stopped in front of the bedroom door. Someone knocked lightly before saying Alice's name.

Alice sat herself up in bed and cleared her throat before saying, "Come in."

Her voice was something of a raspy whisper. She couldn't speak much louder than that. The back of her head rested on the wall while she watched the door open. She was too physically and emotionally exhausted to bother standing up and opening the door.

Trent popped the door open and stuck his head into the room from around the corner, the way he liked to do when he came over. His smile faltered, and he looked quizzically at her lying there. Tears had made visible lines all down her cheeks. Her expression was one of someone who wasn't in the present moment. Their eyes connected, but he could tell she was staring through him more than at him. Seeming to realize Alice was not okay, he quickly crossed the room and took her hands.

" _Alice! What's wrong? What happened?" he asked, almost panicking at the sight of her._

" _I talked to my parents like you said I should," she replied in a detached voice._

" _They didn't have good things to tell you?" Trent asked, but he probably knew the answer already._

" _My dad said he didn't think he could help me pay for college. He hasn't been making enough since the divorce and his layoff. His new job doesn't offer him a good enough pay, and he's barely making his own expenses," Alice stopped and sniffled a little._

" _I'm sorry to hear that he's not doing so well. What about your mom?" Trent inquired._

" _My mom's the reason I'm so upset. She told me that she can't and won't help me. Not even a little bit. She said she works too hard to flush money down the drain for something as pointless as my education," her voice broke toward the end._

Trent's face turned into a scowl. "That was a really stupid thing for her to say. She knows how much you want to go!"

" _She yelled at me for even asking her. She said that I shouldn't bother wasting time and money when I could just start working full-time after high school," she said with melancholy._

" _What the hell is that supposed to mean? Like college isn't worth it? You'd make so much more money than she does if you went to school and got a professional job," his voice rose in anger._

" _Try telling that to her," she answered. "I don't want the life that she and my dad lived! They've done this since they graduated, and they were completely miserable! She worked almost 70 hours a week just to keep us from falling behind. I couldn't do that to myself."_

" _Your mom is the one who wasted her life working some dead end job instead of getting ahead. I wish she could see that you're a different person than she was. You're special, and you're meant to use your brain...not get stuck in mindless work that pays only slightly better than what I make," Trent sounded infuriated while he talked._

" _Why can't she act like a normal mom? She always treats me like I'm shit," Alice said, as if he had any answers about her incomprehensible mother._

" _I think she's jealous. She had you as a 16-year-old, so she never got the chance to go to college or live the kind of life someone our age should have," Trent said with more than a little insight._

" _So I'm just a burden for her. I kept her from doing what she wanted, and now I'm being punished," Alice said._

" _Hey! It's not your fault. You shouldn't feel like you deserve any blame for the choices that your parents made when they where in high school," he reassured her, his hands now around her face._

" _You're lucky to have parents that care about you. They're actually able to help you out when you need it," she said almost accusingly._

He raised his brow and pursed his lips at her attitude, ready to correct her. "No one is perfect. I barely see my dad, and my mom is just as cold and distant as yours. They may have more money, but they're not so different from your family. You know, my mom and I get into fights all the time. She refuses to accept that I'm going to college to be anything other than a doctor or a lawyer. She thinks college is a waste unless your career is going to make you filthy rich. My parents don't understand that happiness doesn't come from money," Trent brought his legs up and shifted his body, so he could sit right beside her.

" _It sounds like you have a lot to deal with, too," she said in surprise._

" _Yeah, but just think. It could be a lot worse for both of us," Trent said calmly. He put his arm around her shoulders and looked down at her adoringly._

" _You're right. I can still try for scholarships and loans. It's not like I'll never be able to go. My mom will eventually shut up once she sees me doing well as a designer," Alice's tone became lighter. "Thank you for making me feel better and for giving me the advice to ask them this soon. At least I'm prepared now for how hard I'll have to work later. You're probably the best thing to happen to me. Seriously."_

" _No problem, baby. I love you so much," he said as he snuggled closer to her._

" _I love you even more," Alice wiped more tears out of her eyes as she replied._

" _I bet both of our parents will eat it once we're successful on our own, and we're both happy," Trent said._

" _Exactly. Promise me that if I ever get like my mom, you'll throw me into a sewer to live the rest of my life alone," Alice sounded absolutely serious. "I never want to be as unhappy as she seems."_

Trent laughed deeply and said, "I promise, but I know you could never be like her. You're too good-natured for that. Neither of us will act like our parents."

" _You think we'll be the people we are now when we're older?" she asked with optimism entering her visage._

" _I know we will. Actually, I think we'll be_ _better_ _people," he said as he brought her closer to kiss her forehead._

" _I hope you're right," Alice murmured, although she believed he might be._

Alice sprawled across her bed, thinking about that time in her life. Problems with her parents and her ability to confide in Trent were things that she missed. She wished she could go back to that period when day-to-day life was simpler for her. The problems Alice encountered back then seemed so trivial compared to the effects of what she'd done at the party the previous night. So much had changed in that span of time, yet she felt almost exactly the same as she did on that day five years ago. In actuality, she was much worse off this time. There was nothing else to blame for her sadness besides her own actions. She hadn't gotten any sleep since the cab dropped her off around midnight. She knew that would happen. A restful night eluded her while she tossed and turned. Her emotions jumped from anger—directed toward herself—to heart-pounding panic. Alice wasn't sure if or how she would tell Daniel about the kiss she couldn't stop herself from stealing.

Would he understand what I felt? Would he want to leave me? If he did decide to go, that's what I deserve anyway. I've been acting like an idiot since I got this job. Things should never have come this far.

What made her cry the most was the feeling that she would never get another taste of what she rediscovered when she let Trent in. He was the only one that made her feel like she was floating, like no one else existed. However, Alice just couldn't allow herself to be with him again. Not when her actions had consequences on others' lives. Now, the wound—that had only partially healed from the breakup years ago—was totally reopened. She wasn't able to stop reliving moments from her past. Every kiss and every affirmation of love came back to her with a twist to her insides.

Alice rolled onto her side and brought her knees to her chest. Everything seemed to be falling apart around her. She had feelings for two men at the same time. One probably didn't want to see her any time soon, and the other might feel the same way if he knew the whole story. She wasn't sure if she could harbor the guilt following such a big secret, but the idea of losing Daniel was devastating to her as well. She'd already lost Trent to unfortunate circumstances, and now she faced the possibility of Daniel wanting nothing more to do with her. Alice felt like she was backed against a wall facing the edge of a cliff. Fear prevented her from moving in either direction, but this was her only way of moving forward.

Is this really who I am? A terrible and unfaithful girlfriend who doesn't think about her actions? I didn't sleep with Trent, but I did emotionally cheat on Daniel. I let something inappropriate happen because I was selfish and unprofessional.

Her return to work on Monday contained more difficulty. She had no clue how she could go on working at Jitter, where she would have to see Trent frequently. He might try to talk about what happened between them. An exponential level of discomfort may exist for both of them afterward. If they'd shown public awkwardness before, their behavior would surely set off alarm bells now. Her friends at work would know that something had changed. They were a pretty observant bunch. Alice shuddered to think about how her work might be impacted if anyone thought she were acting unprofessionally and trying to gain favors using romantic or sexual means.

Alice looked at her phone screen. It read 11:46 in the morning, and she still hadn't eaten or gotten out of bed. She was way too exhausted to do anything, and her appetite didn't presently exist. Finally, her eyelids began to feel heavy. Her emotions couldn't keep her awake any longer. Alice closed her eyes and hoped that sleep would welcome her into its calming depths. Her hopes were answered as she felt herself slipping away. She was leaving harsh reality behind for only a little while, but it would be enough to let her handle the rest of the day.

Sadly, her sleep was fitful at best. The dreams didn't extend enough kindness to take her away to a nicer place. She dreamed of situation after situation where Trent and Daniel met and talked badly about her or fought over what happened. When she finally awoke, Alice felt no better than before she closed her eyes. She blinked and rubbed furiously to rid her eyes of cloudiness before she looked at her phone again. The time was 7:09 PM.

Damn it! Daniel's gallery showing. I'm going to be late!

###
