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### Simona Giorgino

### That sillys thought

That silly thought

Copyright © 2012 Zerounoundici Edizioni

ISBN: 978-88-6578-170-8

Cover: Image Shutterstock.com

Every reference to facts, things or people is purely casual.

That ridiculous thought

he/she never asks the permission

to the entry.

When also pits a guest

desired, he/she remains always

a clandestine among thoughts

what they sojourn by law.

And for this

his/her mystery, his/her identity

well known not,

it always abducts her/it. curiosity.

Simona Giorgino

### 1

It rains to I hijack and the thing doesn't go at all me to genius. Be goes', as it is said," wet bride, fortunate bride." The point is that am not going to get married me! Is the motto perhaps worth for the other categories also? In my case, can you/he/she for example be said," bathed Sfigata, fortunate sfigata?" Ehm, can give him.

Everybody knows that the bad time is one psychological limit of mine, I would be able of to be confined in the house for whole days because of the rain. I am some. meteorological. Ehm, that is, meteoropatica. In short, hook the sun, the beautiful days, I am a type full of life. The rain doesn't decidedly do for me. It extinguishes my smile and my enthusiasm.

But today it is one special day and I cannot allow the atmospheric conditions to ruin him/it to me. I am alone bored to have to face the maltempo with my new shoes of mint and with my fresh hair style of hairdresser. Does not understand every day to have to introduce his/her own book after all, true?

Well yes, I have published a book. I am Carina and I have published a book. No, I intend Carina really of name, but everybody says that am worthy of to call me so, it will be for my beautiful hair color mahogany, soft and smooth as silk and my enormous eyes color emerald that I don't confine me to embellish with the makeup.

You now try to imagine me pure: tall, superb look. that it comes from the satisfaction to have finally conquered to serious publisher. dressed last model by Zara, to gilded belt that tightens me the life and perfectly combined to the earrings and, finally, my beautiful book from the red cover among the hands. What do you think of it?

I sprinkle me an I drip of Chanel and I try to tie my bracelet mascot to the wrist. And with this I am ready to go to my first presentation, ready.

Beep.

My goodness, the jail cell.

«Who speaks?»

«Love I am me. I have had an unforeseen event on the job, I am sorry but I cannot pass to take you, I/you/they are mortified, you have to go on and I reach later you.»

It is Dario, my stupendous boy, that when he/she wants he/she knows how to make to become rabid me of ugly.

«With whom go there? From who should make to come me to take? The girls are due to go out first!»

Read this wisecrack with an irritated tone, from sour person otherwise doesn't unbearably make the same effect of, as have really pronounced her!

«Love I don't know him/it, made to come some idea, they are in the pies, excuse excuse me excuse me to me, I will make me forgive.»

Ok Carina, calm. It breathes deeply.

«Dario» when I am angry I call him/it for name and I perfectly articulate the letters «I am the four and a quarter, is the presentation at five o'clock, as I can find someone who comes to take me and to arrive in center, the everything in three miserable fourth of now?»

«Love I swear you, I am incasinato, I now owe you really to leave, has to put us first the signature, I immediately free me, love I don't know, you take the bus, not to hate me, loves you, we see us to the presentation!»

You/he/she has attacked again.

Does St. Dario exist in the calendar, yes?

I stay an instant to fix my reflex in the mirror, molt, immovable, with the brain in tumult and the stunned expression. M-and-r-d-to. And now as I arrive there to building Carafa if I am me from the opposite side of the city? To take the scooter is out obviously discussion with this tempaccio. I absolutely have need of someone that comes to take me.

Melissa and Anita, because devil they have not reentered? I need them.

I compose first the number of Melissa that is the automunita of the house, then that of Anita. They don't answer. Does it come me to mind that I don't feel her from this morning, where devil are I/you/they ended? Won't you/they be forgotten of my presentation at all I hope? They are gone out this morning soon of house to follow a seminar to the university and I don't have more her you feel.

I write a message to the speed of the light and I send him/it to both.

"AS SOON AS YOU ARE ABLE CALL ME OF URGENCY."

But after five minutes, I witness still the mirror fixing doubtful my reflex and my jail cell you/he/she has been inactive and silent among my hands. Nobody has called.

They are officially in trouble.

I would not know really to who to address other. My parents come from out of town and a miracle could not even make to arrive here them in time. The tallest march that my father uses is the third one, the fourth grade in exceptional circumstances. I need an alternative strategy.

Ok, the only obvious option that has remained it is that to take the urban bus, since today my fiancé has decided to leave me afoot and my coinquilines to melt himself/herself/themselves in the nothing.

I grab the purse, dò another peek to my reflex, makes sure me to be enough figas and I hastens me to go out. I grab the suspended parasol on the clothes-stand. The small umbrella. Obvious. Of those that succeed in overturning himself/herself/themselves with a weak gust of wind and to become because of all that pointed terminals that are emerged out in the meantime dangerous. That great you/they will have picked up him the girls this morning, in the certainty that would not have served to me. And now serves instead me cazzo!

I have a devil for hair. And it owes therefore to be a beautiful party of devils since I have many hair.

I had calculated everything: I would have preserved my hair style and my precious footwears griffate because I would have been climbed in hurry in car and Dario you/he/she would practically have accompanied me up to the entrance of the building, so I would not have had to make road afoot and I would have avoided my enemy rain.

I go me toward the stop of the bus to quick footstep, the rain it is dense and I feel her/it persistently beat on my umbrella to test of storm. I try to hold the umbrella against wind to avoid that I/you/he/she overturn. If I knew parolacce in Turkish in this moment I would not be saving anybody of it. To tell parolacce a foreign language has to be less traumatic.

My goodness, and now how much I will have to wait? I almost never take the urban bus, I don't have the palest idea of what the schedules are or of what bus exactly strainer from this stop. Don't consider that we certainly are not in a metropolis, here to Lecce it doesn't pass every two minutes one of it.

Times 16.35.

Just in the moment in which I am about to lose the patience and to call Dario to summon to plant him in ace his/her client of the cabbage and to come to take me, finally materializes after all him to the road the bus number 27. I ask information to the driver that assures me to be directed in center and I climbs on board.

The heart now begins to beat some strongest. In this whole uproar, I had almost forgotten to be direct to the presentation of my book. I am excited! A discourse and the chairman have gotten ready you/he/she has communicated me the questions that it will do me, therefore in theory I should not have big problems in the exposure. But the motive for my emotion can be imagined: it is an act of God and it will be there it foresees everything one public that will hang only from my lips.

Beep.

Sms from Melissa.

"I CANNOT CALL YOU, I/YOU/THEY ARE BOTTLED IN THE TRAFFIC IT IS I HAVE THE UNLOADED BATTERY. IC DIRECTLY SEE Á. THE PRESENTATION! < 3"

I look out of the car window, the rain is dense and the black sky. With the maltempo the city jams. The cars he is practically inserting the one among the others in the attempt to hurry, worsening the situation instead. The horns literally go crazy, faces incazzates emerge out of the car windows and curses of every kind they hover him in the air. It is in everything this they are the 16.45 and we distantly are not even next to my destination, not to consider the fact that I will have to reach once afoot the building in the outskirtses, because to the buses, obviously you/he/she is not allowed to access the historical center. Where devil is you/he/she ever been able to see that the public arrivals before the author? I have the mark of the sfiga I set, by now it is certain.

At 16.50 o'clock I begin to lose the stirrups. At 16.52 o'clock I attack the driver to ask him what he/she thinks that will employ there. At 16.53 o'clock I again attack the driver that this time a fulminating look launches me through the small mirror retrovisore. To his" we have arrived", reaches 16.57 o'clock, draught a sigh of relief.

We are there. They are to the nearest stop to Sant'Oronzo plaza. I now have to walk some, it is clear that I will arrive after the five but by now I am not able it stuffed nothing.

I open the white parasol to black pois and I lift the footstep to introduce me in hurry in the historical center in direction building Carafa. Meanwhile I grab the jail cell from the pocket to call Dario and to ask him to that point is.

«Mr. Tihodatobuca?» joke when he/she answers.

«Love hi, they are for road, I put at the most there about ten minutes. Don't have begun yet, true?»

«Surely no, since they are not on the place yet!» I tell him in tone of I reproach, as to make to revert the whole guilt of my delay on him «have had to take the bus and have met an awful traffic! Will they be all to wait me, that figure of the cabbage does us there?»

It is my first presentation, it is normal that I/you/he/she am stunned. He tries to console me, telling me that I don't have to worry me because I am the most important character of the evening and bla bla bla, but I feel equally a lot me shaken.

«Not to delay to come, will be forced otherwise to kill yourself» I threaten him/it.

I close the conversation and through the road. I hope that has arrived at least Melissa on the place, because it was the attaché to the transport of the copies of the book. To this time those copies should be exposed on the counter.

While I am trying to surpass an oldie that has jammed on the pedestrian strips, I notice a car that reaches everything gas without worrying himself/herself/themselves that the road is half flooded. I employ there some to understand what is happening. As in front of the scene to rallentatore of a film, my eyes fall first on the wheels of the car, then on a puddle, then again on the wheels and, I instantly try finally to distinguish the features of the driver hidden behind its hateful dark car windows, to give an identity to the stupid that is about to subsequently contribute to ruin me the day.

An anomalous wave is therefore about to attack me.

I succeed in stepping backwards middle footstep but I don't do in time to avoid the disaster. The anomalous wave has drenched me skirt and shoes! My goodness! Ugly bastard that are not other, in your car of merda, try to make reverse that throw you a cazzotto!

I am completely wet!

And now what I do? The devils among my hair he is multiplying. Don't be really day!

I stay me in an angle, I look through in the purse to the search of a package of handkerchiefs that, it looks at case, really today I have forgotten to bring, while with the other hand I hold up uncertain the parasol that, if nothing else, you/he/she is behaved well till now. I would like to howl as a crazy person hysteric.

Beyond the showcase of a cafe, a party of little boys is tasting the scene. You/they will be laughing at me. And now I will also make the figure of the cretina when I will arrive in the Open Space of building Carafa. I try to convince me that is a thing that can happen really to everybody, meet an idiot with a super car that darts for the roads flooded of the city highly caring some pedestrians!

### But they are by now the five trails and I cannot stop indeed over. I am forced to also rule straight with the skirt and the soaked shoes of water piovana. My goodness! 2

Here it is, sees him/it, the prestigious building Carafa where it is about to hold him my first presentation. I have the heart that beats to thousand and the umbrella that it of water. I am reflected me in the showcase of a shop and I would like not to have ever done him/it. Do you have in mind that figa that was gone out ago of house mezz'ora? That of the suit last model, of the smooth hair and setosi and of the shoes griffate? You put away here are all these details, and you focus your imagination on the followings: hair become because of the damp and of the rain crisp, pencil eyes completely slobbered, occhiaie in evidence and stunned face. I am unrecognizable!

When I am about to access the building, I receive a message from Anita.

"I DON'T HAVE CREDIT TO CALL YOU. WHERE DEVIL ARE YOU ENDED? ARE WAITING YOU FOR ALL, THERE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE IS THE CHAIRMAN STARTS Á. LOSING THE PATIENCE!"

Excellent.

I bring back the eyes on the sentence" there is a lot of people." This information shakes even more me. The heart is for me to explode in the thoracic cage.

I climb in hurry the ramp of staircases to reach the close-up. Intersection a pair of poster that announce the event.

"Meeting with the author.

Destinies, of Carina Coral

Roy Editrice

When the destiny is not an opinion."

I reach quick footstep on the plan where the presentation will be held. The doors are all in thick wood, to the walls they are suspended important pictures, with gilded frames, that represent I don't know really what since I have the head from everything other part. There are of the people gathered on the door and, to my appearance, it detaches him from the group the chairman, Anthony, that reaches me in hurry with special frown that terror arouses me.

«I had given you for lost» it begins, trying to hide the irritation.

«Forgive me for the delay, has happened me of everything, and an idiot has also squirted me with the car» I complain me pointing out my rotten skirt, but he doesn't seem to worry him of it.

«I am sorry it, now however let's expedite us to enter, there is already quite a lot people inside.»

Here that the hostile sentence returns and I again loses a pulsation.

Somehow I succeed in holding back the nervousness however and to serenely enough enter room and, above all, forgetting me than you/he/she is hardly happened me. The faces of Melissa and Anita, that I immediately perceive and that they are sat in the first row, they succeed in immediately putting me to my ease. It is as if you/he/she could not happen me void ugly, if my best friends are with me. Besides, nobody seems to acknowledge my soaked skirt and nobody seems to read me in face that I/you/they am legionary of a series of misadventures from road.

God Santo, didn't expect me for all this people. The room is a general parlottio of people smiling sessions on black chairs prepared in orderly file on both the sides of the place. Looking around me at an instant, I become me account that you/they still miss my parents, instead that exhausted of my fiancé should be by now next to arrive.

While Anthony systematizes the projector that we will use for showing the Booktrailer created for the throwing of the book and he assures that the microphone works, I make a turn of inspection with the look and known that among the public there am a lot of my acquaintances that I would not be here me expected.

"It is unbelievable" I think" who knows through what channel they have come to know about the event."

Facebook, poster? For the rest, it is all people that I don't know. Incuriositi will have remained from my book and you/they will have come only here for me. This flatters me. I make some occhiolinos to the people that I know and I sit down me on my chair waiting that Anthony is ready.

When Dario arrives? I have need to know that there is also him. Him that it is a point of reference, him that it sustains me in every moment of my life. It is really while I am formulating this thought, Dario finally makes his/her entry, followed by my parents. He has the air of the beautiful accursed, he/she wears a pair of jeans and a black shirt, uncultivated beard slightly and an enormous bunch of sunflowers in the hands. It is for me. I smile and I finally feel me lifted.

My parents visibly appear excited, they look around him as if they were found in the middle of a forest in which you/they try to orient himself/herself/themselves without the compass. I am not certain that knows with precision to that type of event is about to take part. They are two simple people, not exactly parties to the literary world. Probably, before my debut, they didn't even have it conceives that the publishing houses existed.

Acknowledged him their dismay, Dario it drives them toward the first free places. It knows only my parents of sight and this is the first occasion in which you/they are met of person. I have talked so much of him to my mother and her you/he/she has always hoped to meet him/it. When I have disclosed her that I would have organized this event, you/he/she immediately is informed if there would have been Dario even before every other detail.

They are sat close to Melissa and Anita. Here, therefore, the five most important people of my life lined up in front of me that they look me smiling. I make to fly some kiss with a puff in their direction.

Now that also Anthony is ready, we are about to start. Known that Dario has extracted the television camera from his/her case box with the intention to film me. The parlottio is gradually dispersed up to let the silence appropriate some place. Now all look in my direction.

Oh, my God! My heart loses another pulsation.

«Good evening» it begins Anthony «there are reunited today to introduce the book of a good author debutante.»

I feel me to catch fire.

Anthony is a good chairman however. It holds a very beautiful discourse that succeeds in underlining the points of strength of the novel that I have written. It is besides able to put me to my ease, it has a warm voice and he/she slowly speaks, perfectly articulating the words and often addressing me some comforting looks. He/she succeeds even in making to forget me to witness an ample public and, when the word gives me, oddly I don't feel me so shaken as I feared.

I am speaking some me and of thing I do in the life, I am explaining some degree in Letters that I am about to achieve, I sometimes swallow for the emotion but it immediately passes then. The faces in the public seem all parties and careful, a boy has just yawned but I become convinced me that has not closed eye tonight. I shortly introduce then the publishing house that has decided to invest on my job and finally arrival to speak of the plot of the book.

«The protagonist of the history calls Giacomo, you/he/she is a young student of law with an only dream in the drawer: that to graduate and to become a famous lawyer. It will try to reach with every mean this objective, also fighting against the dull parents that would have liked him/it physician. As you/he/she can be realized, its scaling toward the objective won't be quite simple. At first, the situation conflittuale with its parents will bring him/it to want him to estrange from the city. You will transfer in Vienna for one year, but it will return home in the intention to take back in hand what you/he/she had left interrupted. After having given some examinations, it will know a girl that will subsequently divert him/it from his/her objective. Not so much for his/her will, how much for a thing that will happen some later: she will stay pregnant. The news will upset him/it but, after the first months of pregnancy, when Giacomo will finally have understood the importance to take on him his/her responsibilities, the girl you/he/she will reveal him to have wanted to abort. Giacomo, endeared by now him to the idea to become father, to this point you/he/she will lose the trust in the women. But, above all it will feel, deeply that he/she will never meet the correct woman. Up to when one day, during an evening with the friends, he will come upon in a cartomante and him it will allow to convince to make himself/herself/themselves read the papers. And it is there that the woman will disclose her something that will stay to him engraved forever.»

Says this, I make some brief observation on the plot without disclosing too much and then I turn a look to Anthony that immediately grabs the microphone to intervene, reading some notes scribbled on a block notebook. In the meantime, I investigate that the public he is not annoying. They seem me all rather I taken, there is someone that he/she nods and it smiles. What a relief to notice that they have not fallen asleep.

«You have chosen a footstep to read us, true, Carina?» Anthony asks me.

I read a brief footstep that seems me can mirror the character of the protagonist and, once ended, I lift the head and I close the book with a rapid gesture. The public is mute. I seem to have conquered him/it. With a hit of cough I bring them all to the reality.

«Delicious footstep» Anthony intervenes «and I suppose you cannot disclose us over.»

«No, indeed no, I cannot say as it goes to end.»

With an applause of the public, my discourse finishes practically here. Nobody has wanted to address some questions and we has now opened a small sideboard and we have invited the guests to use. This way I can finally reach mine and to feel what they have to say.

«Treasure, has been magnificent!» you/he/she is screaming his/her mother, that now an arm has put me around the neck and he/she refuses to free me.

Arrive to me to the nostrils his/her buonissimo perfume that he/she knows about fruit. It has to be one of his/her delicious creams body purchased in one of that parlor meetings to which you/he/she is often invited by his/her representative of products for the beauty.

«But do tell me some» dad whispers me behind his/her woody beard «and the television cameras of Channel 5 where I/you/they am?»

«Dad, but thing you say? It allows to lose, Channel doesn't come 5!»

The known one while it is assuming a doubtful expression and almost disappointed. I have tried to make to understand him that I have published with a small publishing house, but from when you/he/she is inculcated in head that his adorable only daughter it will become a writer of success, nobody succeeds in diverting him/it from the conviction that I will end in television, in wave on some literary index book conducted by important characters of the show.

«My friend writer!» Anita is croaking.

«We are proud of you!» her ago echo Melissa.

They seem all very fierce ones of me, but I cannot stop over because Anthony complains my presence to the counter, where of the people that would like to have one dedication of mine on the frontispiece of the book before going away are. What a satisfaction, this is so much a moment that waited from! The dedication, people that I don't know want one dedication of mine. Difficulty to believe us. I write two cavolates of the type" good reading" or" to good to make" finishing with a beautiful autograph of style that I have tried to house up to become accustomed come me to the index and I deliver the copy of the book to the people that ask me questions and it smile at me.

I am decidedly feeling me important. Be a kind of moment of glorifies!

While I am looking around me estasiata for the result of my first presentation, Dario it draws near me. It slowly walks, sketching that usual irresistible smile and an intense light illuminates his eyes.

«You are fantastic, I am proud of you» it tells me, handing me the bunch of flowers «I hope is of your pleasure.»

The dò a kiss on the lips.

«You know him/it that hook the sunflowers. These won't certainly, be enough to make to forgive you to have left me afoot!» joke.

«I am sorry a world, but I will make me forgive, promised.»

«It will be better for you!»

The last time that has said" I will make me forgive", we have been incazzati for a week because of an awful hole that you instead have to give me for an appointment on the job.

The evening turns by now at the end and you/he/she has been all right than I hoped. I have not mistaken anything, my exposure has been perfect, the public seems to have been stricken from my book and I has sold more than about thirty copies. A happened of it!

Now they are in car with Dario and him you/he/she has become very mysterious from when we are gone out of building Carafa. We are direct from some part but you/he/she has not wanted to disclose me nothing. To my questions, you/he/she is limited to answer me:

«Excuse treasure, knows that this is your evening, but I has to pass to check a cosetta.»

And I don't believe it. I am certain instead that coop to make me a surprise, to judge from his/her happy face. Because otherwise this whole mystery and this silence, really the evening of my presentation? I love the surprises, therefore rest crouched in my seat without asking further questions.

And it is all right, only someone.

«We are going to meet other people or will we be alone?»

I try to realize something from his/her answers. I have always detested to stay on the thorns.

«We will meet some people.»

«Mmm, ok.»

I look out of the car window for only a handful of seconds before again reopening mouth.

«And is it very distant? Do I want to say, does it miss for this place on which you don't want to tell me void a lot still but of which would like me to know more something?»

Dario he turns verse of me and it looks me compassionate.

«They miss few minutes, calm.»

«Ok, ok.»

I turn on a couple of times the stereo and change channel.

«I can take a seat or will I have to be standing? Is it a place with some chairs, type a restaurants or something similar?»

He turns him to look had a good time and at the resigned same time.

«You are decidedly irrecoverable.»

Later as soon as five minutes, Dario communicates that we have arrived. I don't know this place, but I cannot wait to know that surprise has prepared me! We find us in the open country, it seems an estate, probably a farm. And when I perceive indeed the presence of fences in with pigs, horses and sheep, suffer an illumination: have found, is about to give me a pup!

In the last days I have often felt him make some wisecracks on the possibility to purchase a pup of dog one day, a Chihuahua for the precision. Know that I am a lover sfegatata of the dogs, those of small ransom, especially know perfectly of it, I speak to him of it all the saints days! I now connect everything.

I am the happy to girl the earth but, not to ruin him the surprise that has probably organized for me with so much love, I try to contain the enthusiasm. I don't want to leastly make him intend to have understood everything.

We go down from the car and we introduce there in a long avenue. I try to maintain me in equilibrium on my tall heels but the floor of pebbles on which we are walking granché it doesn't help me. To our sides trees enormous parish priests are raised with precision, while it is invading us a buonissimo odor of pine that I have always loved particularly and that, if I was me in a different circumstance, it would bring back me in the time with the mind, making to relive me distant scenes, tied up memoirs probably to my infancy. But, in this instant, the only two thoughts that hold me occupied the mind are the acute pain that I warn to the feet and the moment in which you/they will make me hold among the braccias my new dog.

Arrivals at the end of the avenue, open a door and go out from there a bald man of half age. He/she wears a pair of old and dirty pantalonis and a shirt visibly rubbed. It has moustaches that have the tendency to be pointed upward. A character seems me gone out of an old western. The cow hat boy misses him, even a dirty gun of tufo and it would be perfect for the stage.

«Dear Dario!»

It comes us very enthusiastic meeting and the hand hands him with cordiality.

«Dear Vincent!» Dario responds reciprocating him the hold «this is my fiancée, Carina.»

«To like!» I answer with strident voice and some too much euphoric «stupendous estate, and how much delicious animals!»

«Thanks Miss, we take there the maximum care of all them» he politely responds, a finger passing himself/herself/itself on the ruffled moustaches.

«Oh yes, I imagine. If I had to pick up me a pup, I would certainly come from you!» I answer and I make him an occhiolino of agreement, decidedly receiving from Vincent a perplexed look.

«I pray, follow me pure.»

Then it turns him to Dario and it tells him:

«You will stay surprised, you will see.»

«I am curious!» Dario responds, that then he turns verse of me «treasure, also you will be happy.»

I don't doubt of it! How do I not witness happy a little dog everything to maltreat?

Ok, then, if it is male I call him/it Pablo, if it is a cagnetta I call her/it Cheerful.

Vincent drives nearby there us toward a building, a structure in is raw. It is enormous and surrounded of mountains of tufo, evidently to use for next jobs.

«Oh, is it there that you care your dogs?» taming not succeeding in containing the curiosity.

«No, the animals we raise them in the farm. The dogs we hold down there instead them.»

It points out with the hand a small illuminated cottage and surrounded of palms. And then because devil we don't directly go to the cottage of the dogs without making this whole road in more? I have badly to the feet!

«Arrived Eccoci! Then Dario, does thing think of it?»

Vincent turns verse of us giving the back to the building, you/he/she has widened the braccias and, with satisfied expression you/he/she clearly waits, that Dario says his.

Dario has widened the mouth and you/he/she is observing the building with marveled expression. I don't understand. Does thing find us of beautiful in this raw and abandoned building? And now that we have seen him/it, we can go to see the dogs?

«Vincent, is without words. It is simply perfect!» Dario responds, sincerely stricken.

«I didn't have doubts that you are be liked.»

Dario turns him to look me and the hand takes me. Its expressive eyes reveal its emotion.

«Then treasure, has not meant you nothing first for scaramanzia, but now I can tell you him: Matteo and I move here the firm!» disclose me to the peak of the euphoria.

A moment. And the dogs?

It attends one reaction of mine. Rest for some instant to reciprocate his/her look with a stupid smile that was spontaneously born hardly me on the lips, but I don't know whether to think.

«Magnificent!» I succeed then in saying with a little convincing tone.

The two is now speaking of projects of construction and masculine stuff of which don't understand a dry fig tree, a turn perlustrativo also granting himself/herself/itself in the inside, while I reproach me between me and me to have been stupid and hasty, as to mine usual.

Was this the surprise! There won't be any Pablos and anybody Cheerful! Damnation! I am able of metter on enormous castles of illusions. Because devil I always become convinced me that coop to happen something uproarious without having its certainty? Enough then a small puff because that damned castle collapses me in front of the eyes.

Dario is a surveyor. You/he/she has been opening for one year a small enterprise of constructions in society with his/her brother. Only that that small enterprise in the turn of little time has become great, recorded successes have fortunately been so many and notable, and it looks like you/they have decided then to magnify him.

And it is magnificent. The place is magnificent that has found for its firm, it is magnificent that he is happy and it is magnificent that its business are proceeding to swollen sails. But I begin to get tired to be here me to listen to them, the time it passes and they seem not to realize of it, so much is great the enthusiasm for the one that purchase and for him anything else other than he/she sells. I begin besides to suffer seriously the ache of feet and I hope that Dario he realizes as soon as possible that we are burning there inside the evening of my first presentation here.

It is from when leaves again from the estate that I don't open mouth. Dario doesn't do anything else other than to speak of his/her success and of his/her enthusiasm, of the date for which it foresees to begin the jobs, of the fact that the time doesn't see to bring Matteo on the place, to see its face and bla bla bla. Yes, I am happy for him, but to the moment I don't succeed in rejoycing. A hour we have passed in that estate, the feet have broken in two and now you/he/she are done you delay and it doesn't go more even me to go out.

«Hands me to house, I don't feel well me» I pretend.

I am not angry because I won't receive in gift a dog, and even because the evening of my presentation has gone to puttane. I am angry because lately the priority goes only and only to its success. When we see us, it passes the ninety percent of the attached time to the expensive his/her palmare to contact clients or to resolve matters of job. It jumps our appointments with an ability that would do envy to an athlete of jump in long winner of the Olympiads. Don't speak of when I have to repeat him the things two, three times, because it continually has the head among the clouds, because of thousand thoughts of job that don't leave him/it alone. Lately I have learned to adopt a tactic that works to the great one: I don't speak really, knowing that I would hardly get his/her attention.

I don't remember me more when you/he/she has been the last time that has asked me something around my examinations or even my feelings. There were times when we spoke very more, and of anything. We touched the most unthinkable themes, we spoke of us and of our projects, but also of the life and of the universe. Me, the stars and he in the sky.

### 3

Arrived home, I find a post-it stuck to the door of the kitchen signed" the your crazy coinquilines." You/he/she is written there that they won't return home before midnight, that I/you/they have gone to amuse around him some for the city, that Anita has beaten the head against the table of the kitchen making as himself/herself/itself a great bump a business center and that they wish me a stupendous evening with my Dario. I make a grimace of sorrow.

I order a pizza of I remove, and after supper I do me a turn on Facebook to understand to that point has arrived the promotional page of my book. Surprisingly it seems, there is ten I like in more, for a total of two hundred and trentacinque fans. I have besides thirteen notifiches and a private message. I open this last:

"HI CARINA, MI IS SORRY TO DISTURB YOU MA I HAVE AN IMPORTANT THING TO TELL YOU. MI I CALL PHILLIP E NOT IC WE KNOW. HOW COULD I PUT IN CONTACT WITH YOU?"

Yes, certain! This is beautiful! According to this here, I would give my telephone number to the first one that a private message writes me affirming to have something of main point to tell me? It is not the first message that I receive from a perfect stranger. I have a handful of applications of friendship ignored and it seems that my photo of the profile has killed at random of hearts.

I answer:

"IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL ME, MI IT SEEMS OBVIOUS THAT YOU OWE TO WRITE HERE HER. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO PUT YOU IN CONTACT WITH ME, MI IT IS SORRY. I AM HAPPILY FIANCÉE."

Yet I have published him in my information of the profile: fiancée officially. Do they fake not to have read that information or is to be engaged perhaps an irrelevant detail today?

In short," happily fiancée" is also then a big word considered the period that are crossing, but doesn't want to say nothing! I am certain that this moment will pass and Dario and I will return to be those that we have always been.

However I go to check the profile of this boy to understand who both and if I know him/it. Curiosity there is obviously, you/he/she cannot be denied him/it.

A beautiful boy, nothing to be said. Phillip Sarti, been born in 1979, city native Perugia. I don't know him/it, absolutely. Don't speak of the fact that doesn't even have a friend! Practically has that is a profile that seems servant, waits for for coming to break the boxes to me! I am the only person of whom receives the updatings!

After a handful of minutes, its answer arrives to already my message.

"I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR ATTITUDE, RATHER MI I EXCUSE FOR HAVING BEEN HASTY. DONE IL IS THAT I/YOU/THEY HAVE BEEN STRICKEN FROM AN UNBELIEVABLE HISTORY THAT MI Á. TO HOLD BACK BACK ME HAS HAPPENED AND I/YOU/THEY HAVE NOT SUCCEEDED. FORGIVE ME. I HAVE INDEED NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU. I DON'T WANT YOUR NUMBER, INDEED I WOULD NOT EVEN LIKE TO INSIST, MA IS IMPORTANT."

I admit that I begin to make suspicious me. Because this whole insistence? Will you/he/she be trying to deceive only me with the intention to make my number be given? I don't understand. Which unbelievable history will you/he/she have happened him? And, would thing have above all, to whether to do with me?

My mind it flies in the meander of my past, to the search of some name, of someone that could potentially be interested to make me a joke of bad taste. I don't know, some ex boy that I have left without pity to the times of the beautiful life and that now he/she wants to take revenge because you/he/she has never digested to have been unloaded.

"DEAR PHILLIP, MI IS SORRY, MA AS I HAVE TOLD YOU YOU WILL HAVE TO BE SATISFIED YOU WITH TO WRITE HERE ME. I CANNOT GIVE YOU MY NUMBER IT IS THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO SPEAK. CANNOT YOU EXPLAIN ME THING HAS HAPPENED AND ABOVE ALL WHO ARE?"

Impatient aspect one answer of his, that arrives in little instants.

"IT DEALS WITH YOUR BOOK, MA I PRAY YOU, NOT TO FORCE ME Á. TO SAY YOU EVERYTHING THROUGH MESSAGE, WOULD BE TOO RIDUTTIVO."

Too riduttivo? But is of thing speaking? Has you/he/she read my book and is he liked? Because it doesn't tell in writing me him? Or if really he is liked so much, because it doesn't go to put do I like on the page, at least it increases my visibility? I begin to lose the patience. I don't know this type. Done always admit that that is his/her real photo, it will be also a beautiful boy, but that pretensions it has? Because he/she insists?

"MI DISPIACE SORRY PHILLIP, MA FOR ME THE CONVERSATION ENDS HERE."

"I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND. AS YOU WANT."

Well, and now I leave me to the shoulders everything how much and I return to cazzeggiare with my friends on Facebook.

I hope that this Phillip didn't have seriously something of main point to tell me, but if really this way pits I don't believe you/he/she could afford to give up writing me, not having left him other choice. If indeed it has something to say me, one day or the other one it will be decided to do him/it. End of the history.

### 4

Later the day wakes up there with the sun. It is marvelous to see to penetrate him/it from the cracks of the taxes, coming to form sketches without form on the walls and on the objects. It is a big sin that is gone out today only, leaving me the memory of a first drizzly literary presentation. But by now that is past water.

Beep.

Sms from * love *.

"GOOD MORNING LOVE, HOPES FEELS THIS MORNING BETTER YOU. I RACE Á. THE JOB. A KISS."

Taken as it was from his/her thoughts, you/he/she has not even understood that my sudden indisposition had been only an excuse to return home. I feel me a tantino bothered by the fact that, lately, Dario doesn't do anything else other than to selfishly think about himself.

This morning I am busy some turns. I have to go to reception office students of the university for then to make a small deviation toward the library of the department to take a book in loan. Finally I will immediately go me toward a bookstore near which I am organizing my second presentation of the book. In fact, in an e-mail of answer you/they have written me to be interested to my application and to be prepared to make to make me the presentation from them. I pass same this morning for the accords. It is too much an important thing and I don't have intention to waste time. And the result of the first presentation makes me passionately desire to repeat the experience!

I get up me from the bed and I go out of the room in my pink pigiamino and in my ciabattines to form of rabbit.

«Good morning to all!» cry, in the attempt to wake up my companions that I imagine under still to the covers.

This morning I have really desire to make a mega breakfast together with them. I launch a look to the clock and I realize me that instead they are the 10.30. 'Azz. But how much have I slept? I believed pits prestissimo. I open the doors of their rooms and I become me account that in fact they are not in the house. They are already gone out. Melissa and Anita are enrolled to the same course of studies in foreign Languages and to the moment you/they are frequenting together the lessons of computer ability. To this point I will have breakfast to the cafe of the university, therefore I race to take me a shower and then I get ready me to go out. The beautiful time allows me to use the scooter.

I arrive in reception office and I stand in line to talk to Mrs Bice. When it is my turn, Mrs Bice decides to now answer to a phone call that holds her/it busy for a quarter of abundant. In attends him, I answer to the message of Dario.

"Yes Love, Me Everything Well. WHEN YOU WILL MAKE Á. MATTEO SEE THE BUILDING?"

Mrs Bice frees him and so I can finally sit down on the chair in front of her and to expose my problem related to the password that allows to access the book online and that related to a pair of formative credits disappeared in the nothing. After our conversation and after having withdrawn a book from our library, I go me happy toward the bookstore where I will hold the next presentation.

Different times have passed close to this shop there, being central and, above all, finding himself/herself/itself behind the cafe that I often frequent with the girls. It deals with a small bookstore with an abundant showcase, that entertains a great white shelf to more ledges in which I/you/they are of time in time abandoned the new publications, made recognizable from stencils her/it that you/he/she is applied us above, with on writing" Novelty" in red bold. The shelves are prepared with care, surrounded by Carina floral compositions in plastics. The door of entry is closed and, in to open her/it, a campanellino gently plays above to my head.

«Good morning, is Carina Coral, they are here for talking to the holder.»

I am turning me to a girl with a great pair of glasses, sat behind the reception.

«Yes, I immediately call him/it to him.»

The girl enters a stanzetta on the fund of the place and allows here me for a few minutes, together with the books. I skim through one of them, adocchio the cover of another, peers at the biography of an author that I don't know and I finally hears the voice of a man to my shoulders.

«Good morning Carina, it is a pleasure to meet you!»

In to turn me, it is me of forehead an enough attractive man, black and delicate hair sight occhialini with the transparent fitting, behind which it hides him a pair of great green eyes.

«To like to meet her/it» I tell him handing his hand.

«To like my, I am Giulio, but give me of the you. I would end up feeling me very more old man than is not!» it jokes shaking in turn me the hand.

Don't seem at all me old, it will have maximum quarantacinque years, perhaps also less. I acknowledge not to be good to guess other people's ages.

«Certain Giulio» I smile at him «we are felt for e-mail there, I am the author of Destinies, you have given me the void one it hinders for the presentation. I didn't expect me for a so early answer, to tell you the truth.»

My voice betrays a strange sense of embarrassment.

«Oh yes, Destinies, remember me, a lot of incuriosito the card has me that have sent me. Not as soon as I will have a copy, I will read him/it, Carina.» it looks me with to condescending expression «. and as it regards the presentation, yes, we macaws available to I give you her to I give here. A place is freed recently, because an author has given up the his/her a couple of days ago, and I have thought that you could replace her/it.»

«Oh» I am sincerely stricken «excellent, Giulio!»

I didn't expect me that you/he/she would have been so simple to place another presentation. I believed that I would have had to labor quite a lot to find booksellers prepared to grant her/it to me.

«You come, it looks.» me needle sign to follow him/it.

We move there on the opposite side of the bookstore, that is not enormous but whose spaces are prepared in excellent way. There are the clients in the middle of the corridors, he politely tells good morning all how much as soon as we move there for the room and, we finally arrive in a delicious angolino, with a divanetto to three places and a tavolino of glass.

«We call him/it the" literary parlor"» he/she explains «we use him/it for it stuffed above all the presentations, over that for the break coffee!»

It points out a small distributor climbed on in the angle. Then continuous:

«Me as chairman and you as author is comfortably be sat on the couch, while here.» it points out the whole space around the point in which we find us «we systematize the chairs for the public. We have a projector, in the case I had a tape to make to see, and obviously on the tavolino we systematize the copies of the book. What does it seem of it?»

«It seems me that yours" literary parlor" offers a big beautiful atmosphere.»

Known also the lights soffuse emanated from delicious applique inserted in the wall.

«Excellent. Let's grant then us on the questions that I will go to do you, so you can prepare your discourse for May 14.»

«14 May?» I fall from the clouds.

On May 14 is in less than two weeks! Cabbage, didn't expect that would have done her so early! I have to have the time to invite the people!

«True, I had not told you him yet. The presentation of that girl would have been May 14. We don't want the event to jump» he/she affirms him definite.

«Is not I motivate of it in fact! That date is all right» I am worthwhile.

I attend five minutes, the time that Giulio serves a pair of clients that ask of him and then there we start programming the event of May 14 to great lines.

Returned home, I find the girls intente to prepare a buonissimo lunch for three. The stay is invaded by a delicious odor of cooked that it makes me come a merciless hunger.

«Hola chica! He finally meets!» Anita exclaims when he/she sees me appear on the door.

«True, my goodness. We live in the same house but practically we don't succeed in seeing us anymore!» I beat «mmm, that good perfumes!»

I launch me on the pot to peer at its content.

«Trofiette with sausage, mushrooms and peas» he/she explains the cook Melissa, that has also prepared a buonissima pizza bread stuffed with some vegetable for the occasion and you/he/she is inserted a cape with the writing" gourmet" that it makes her/it to a little comic dir.

«Dario has passed ago from here few minutes. He/she believed to find you» Anita informs me keeping on seasoning the salad.

«Mmm, knew that I would not have returned before the time of lunch.»

I reflect a moment with thoughtful expression, then I affirm:

«Be goes', you/he/she will be forgotten, lately in its head you/he/she is set only there for the job and the business.»

Beep.

Sms from * love *.

"I/YOU/THEY ARE STOPPED BY HOUSE MA THERE WERE NOT. ME IT IS MATTEO ANDIAMO Á. THE SUMMER THIS AFTERNOON. DO YOU WANT TO ALSO COME YOU?"

Sms of answer.

"NO LOVE, THANKS THE SAME MA I PREFER TO STAY Á. HOUSE À. STUDIARE. Do Know him/it That The Presentation In the Bookstore is Already' has Fixed For May 14?! ;)"

It is not true at all that will stay home to study. The girls and I have already organized a capatina for shops in the afternoon. We don't cut out there some time for us from at least a couple of weeks. I taken by my examinations and them two from the weary university lessons, have not had a lot of occasions to lately be together. At all to the world would lose there the beautiful afternoon of sun that looks out upon him!

Before going out, I race on Facebook to create the public event of the presentation in the bookstore, so that all can come to knowledge of it and whoever can consider the idea to participate you taking note of the address.

At five o'clock, instead, the girls and I are already at the street Trinchese with our heels and our purses fashion. We have taken the bus to avoid to fight against the nonexistent parking lot of the center. We enter from Kiko and we purchase lipsticks, eyeshadows, fold-eyelashes and enamels of every color. From Carpisa we make us a bellyful of purses in sale and, finally, from Bijou Brigitte we don't allow us to escape the twinkling of bracelets and earrings that will go to embellish the abundant angle beauty that we have prepared in our toilet. We end in Sant'Oronzo plaza to it stuffed to prepare three crêpe to the Nutella near an itinerant pickup truck, in the meantime we make an account of our purchases.

«These I book them me for the presentation in the bookstore!» I exclaim reporting me to a pair of very sparkling earrings that we have purchased from Bijou Brigitte.

«Instead I absolutely want to come with this purse!»

Anita takes possession him some purse in matter and it is evident that I/you/he/she don't want not to even release her/it to a Melissa that has begun to shout.

«No, give her/it for me. Anita give her/it for me or will repent of it! We had remained of accord that this I would have put her me!» the threat Melissa.

My friends. Ah, what would I ever do without them? We have been living together for two years and we have not had only never a quarrel in this whole time. We have understood since the first day that we would have become great friends. Between us there is a particular alchemy. Nobody could ever replace one of them. We are a consolidated trio three wedges perfectly inserted the one with the others. It is a friendship that abducts you, of those that don't need great efforts, because it exists an invisible thread that ties our souls since the depth.

The year in which definite that would have lived to Lecce, I had visited a beautiful po' of apartments, among which that where I currently live with the girls. Memory to have visited some apartments mozzafiato, with great saloons and independent balconies, comfort of every kind, appliances to the state-of-the-art one, very beautiful rooms with immense closets and deprived baths. Some had very elegantly been restructured recently and and they were perfectly found to the center, with the supermarket under house. And then there was our apartment in outskirts. Minuscule entry, narrow corridor, essential stay and with few furniture, three small, pleasant and bright camerettes, the mold that began to go out in the angles of the ceiling, and then Melissa and Anita sat on the divanetto twos places. I had loved since the first instant those two perfect strangers. Their presence, made alone that appartamentino very more jewel of so many others that I had seen. I already imagined the day when there would be due to tighten for succeeding to star sat in three in the divanetto from two places. And so it is, in fact. We always quarrel on who has to take the place to the center, because sitting himself/herself/itself of side he has the tendency to uncomfortably be oblique, but it is what we love more, to quarrel for the cazzates, faking of incavolarci and ending to fight with the pillows. I would not have been able to find a best place whether to live.

While I am observing estasiata their false quarrel caused by the purse of Carpisa, known Melissa that distracts him.

«No, I cannot believe there.»

You/he/she is staring at a boy that you/he/she is passed nearby there hardly.

«Who is?» taming incuriosita.

«L.lui» he/she stammers «it is a boy that f.frequentava my same high school. Was a legend, I loved him/it! What devil us ago here?»

It tells us that he calls Nico Cimarosa and that, after the maturity, all had known him/it to London to make the fotomodello for a local magazine. But he/she sees here now it, in meat and bones, in our Lecce and he/she doesn't want to make a reason. It doesn't tear off his eyes of back and it follows him/it with the look, discovering that you/he/she is taking a place to sit to the cafe together with his/her friend.

«Here are your crêpe.»

The gentleman with the white bonnet behind his/her wheelbarrow is handing her, we pay him/it and we get further there accomplices toward that that looks out upon him as a new adventure.

«But I absolutely want to discover what us ago here!» Melissa insists.

«We could also take a seat us to the cafe» it proposes Anita.

«Even we end first our crêpe» I suggest me.

Standing close to the statue of Sant'Oronzo, we are three idiots that quickly devour a crêpe full of Nutella, laughing at taste and risking to dirty us anywhere.

«My goodness!» Melissa grunts, that has not succeeded to eat his/her crêpe without smearing him of chocolate. But we don't want to wait over, that Nicos you/he/she could disappear and Melissa if it would never forgive him/it.

We direct there toward the cafe and we take more or less a place next to that of Nico. In attended that a waiter comes to serve us, we try to understand of thing is speaking the two boys.

«Beautiful it is beautiful» he/she affirms Anita with intelligent air.

«To who say him/it? We were all crazy ones of him to the high school!» he/she explains Melissa.

«But therefore, do make to understand me, doesn't he know you?» taming me.

«Ehm, no, indeed I don't believe that I/you/he/she remember me. I was, as to say, one of the so many to hum around him!» a moment remains in silence to observe him/it of hidden «he is greater than us, however. You/he/she has been rejected for three consecutive years, therefore now it will be twenty-nine years old.»

It seems that the thing likes her not little. You/he/she has been in fact always her to establish the age of the men below which is not allowed to go for a venticinquenne. To the of under of the twenty-nine years, a man is decidedly out. The same above the forty.

A waiter enough belloccios it materializes him from the nothing and it brings us the menus.

«It is not need of it, do we already know thing to take, do we do the usual one, true girls?» taming me.

The girls burst in a laughter. What have I said that doesn't go?

«You forgive her» I tell the waiter that has remained in front of us to attend our order «I am out some of head, they always laugh without motive» I affirm striking me the temple with the finger in the attempt to show her as crazy persons.

«I understand» the waiter me fixed, then it starts over speaking «you/they are not probably laughing really without motive.» needle them an occhiolino accomplice and the finger brings under him to the nose faking to scratch him.

The girls also do him/it, they bring under him all and two the finger to the nose and they fake to scratch him. I feel me taking for the fondellis. What do you/they want to say? For instinct, the small mirror that hold in the purse take and I finally understand: how bastard! I have under immediately a clot of Nutella to the nose, that a kind of baffetto forms me to the Adolf Hitler. Have not told me nothing of intention to make to make me a figuraccia with the waiter! I kill her!

I take a fazzolettino to clean me, I blush as soon as and I exclaim, turning to the waiter:

«My friends are of the big bastard!»

«I arrange» ago him smiling «for how much it concerns the ordination, do I still leave you some time to decide or can I perhaps propose you something me?»

«Good idea!» I exclaim with enthusiasm to cover my embarrassment.

«We have prepared some buonissimis cocktail, they are sweet with a shower of chocolate. Or did you think about something nonalcoholic, perhaps?»

It waits for our answer with the notebook and the pen, ready to mark.

Us three look at there for a moment, then I intervene:

«To say the truth, I would not be sorry something of strong!»

«In fact, once so much ago also well! Goes for your cocktails!» it arranges Anita, speaking in the name of also Melissa that, in this moment, to judge from his/her lost and in love look, would not have a great ability of judgment.

«Perfect, I bring then you three Butterfly. Other?» he/she asks the waiter.

«No, it is all right so, thanks.»

«I have just felt something» it whispers not Melissa as soon as the waiter has gotten further «I have felt that you/they are speaking of a girl of a certain Bianca. I hope is not his/her fiancée!»

«But it looks that impicciona, has put on that is really to eavesdrop, look at her/it!» Anita exclaims, noticing that our friend, shamelessly, he is not allowing not to even escape a word of that that the boys are said.

«Melissa, is able at least to try not to make to see you?» I suggest her.

«I don't know her/it» he/she affirms Anita, the face covering himself/herself/itself with the hands.

We burst in a roaring laughter while the waiter is already of return with the three Butterfly.

Few minutes have passed, but our glasses are already him almost emptied. I have to admit that these cocktails are delicious, they know really of chocolate, they go down down for the esophagus as fresh water. So we cannot do to less less than order another turn of it. Won't it hurt, once so much, no? The waiter has summoned us to stop per second us, ché if we have not gotten used to drink, you/he/she says, we would be able not to hold up.

After a quarter of now, instead, the girls and I are made also there the third turn and our heads they begin indeed to go for loro account. The boys are still sat to their tavolino to speak and you/they have not even deigned us of a look, provoking a deadly anger in our enamored Melissa.

«Here becomes matter of I begin! I don't go if first he is not at least turned to look me!» he/she affirms. And you/he/she has also told him/it with a certain conviction, adding us a sonorous" and that cazzo"!.

«Ok then. We have to do so that the type you look at her/it, we are here otherwise up to tomorrow morning!» Anita exclaims turning to me with worried expression.

«Yes, we have immediately to do something!» I beat me and, in this precise moment, I become me account that the words begin to venir out of the mouth as if the brain didn't succeed in checking her anymore.

Melissa that is looking practically turned with the body toward the table where the two boys are sat in the shameless attempt to make to be noticed, burst in a sonorous laughter, and Anita doesn't delay to follow me. We are laughing as hysterics and finally, after so much time, we notice the head of Nico that he turns verse of us. You/he/she would have been impossible, to this point, that didn't notice us, considered the noise that we are doing.

«Ops» I feel to say from Melissa, not as soon as its eyes cross those of Nico.

«Hi!» it exclaims then with strident voice waving the hand and with a stupid smile on the face.

Anita and I are laughing madly and there are no verse that we succeed in stopping us. The scene is already enough absurd of his, but with the Butterfly in the head you/he/she has practically become comic.

«Hi» Nico responds, looking at Melissa «we know each other?» ask her with illegible tone.

«I know you for certain! You I don't believe.» she responds torturing himself/herself/itself the fingers, and its voice tells her/it long on the fact to be sober.

«How you call yourself?»

«Melissa.» its voice is absolutely estasiata.

Anita and I keep on laughing without apparent motive, while Nico and Melissa are hidden in an almost private conversation. We gain here and there only some word in the few instants in which Anita and I succeed in not making noise.

«Everything well?» does he/she ask us the waiter, done come until here to check the situation, since have we become some too much noisy «you perhaps have some exaggerator with the Butterfly, eh?» it reproaches us in friendly tone.

«But thing you have here?» Anita laughs, bringing a proper finger on the point of the face where the waiter exhibits a disgusting brufolo. He is clearly upset.

«Ok, is officially drunk.»

You looks around as if it was able veder to emerge from some part a solution to the problem. And then in reality we are not" drunk." Be alone that, as can be explained him/it, are amusing there! We feel there uninhibited from the social rules, we feel there free to make the fools because we can never do him/it. But today, thanks to the Butterfly, can do him/it without necessarily being labeled as fools! Drunk it exactly is not synonymous of fools.

I again burst in a laughter and the tears come me to the eyes when I feel Anita that tells the waiter:

«We will be also drunk, but your brufolo we are not imagining at all it!»

It retouches him/it to him and he steps backwards of some centimeter.

A, hour later the muscles of the jaws are stiffened to fury to laugh, we have settled our account with the waiter, Nico you/he/she has succeeded in escaping from the claws of Melissa and we have abandoned the tavolino of the cafe. The drunk one has not passed entirely and however, even if so pits, would be indeed a big sin to admit him/it. It doesn't often happen us to take a drunkenness and we are definite to enjoy her/it to us until after all. Then we have taken back the bus and we are still returning home noisy and laughing. The driver launches us sporadic occhiatacce from the small mirror retrovisore while Anita tries to seduce with the look a desirable passenger parallelly sat to her.

«Ah, my girls, that afternoon!» I exclaim not as soon as we are inside house.

And the house, today, after every departed time together it also seems me more beautiful. They are still there the dishes of the lunch in the sink, because Anita has refused to wash them to make a spite to Melissa that had won three times of line to Burraco. On the door of the kitchen, from the inside part, we have hung our photos. In one there are Anita and I while we are eating an ice cream and there I have also the completely dirty lips of chocolate.

"It has to be a vice" I think.

I/you/they have come horrendous in that photo, but she insists to hang again her every time that, of hidden, I remove her/it. It always realizes. In another photo, there are all and three embraced to a clown met in Sant'Oronzo plaza an evening of carnival. Another photo still withdraws the exhilarating moment of a mega tumble of Melissa on the steps of the university, you/he/she has been a true fortune to have succeeded in immortalizing to life that moment.

The evening is by now lowered and from the window in stay it penetrates the light of the moon.

«No, not to turn on» I suggest to Melissa that he was approaching to the interrupter «you look at beautiful quant'è so.»

I draw near me to the couch and I take place to the center, admiring him/it show of the weak light that enters from the window forming a white bundle that reaches the floor. Melissa and Anita sit him to my side. And we remain so for a few minutes, in silence and in faint light.

«And so you/he/she has not even gone with Nico.» it confides us Melissa with sad voice «The feels I know halo.»

«To who say him/it!? Because, Kevin then?» it beats Anita even reporting never himself/herself/itself to his/her unattainable friend of university that not the worthy of a look.

«As for me, that to tell you girls? Me a fiancé I have him, but it is always busy with the job, we don't speak anymore, and I feel so much me alone also me» I confide.

They follow some instants of silence, each lost in his/her thoughts.

«How much road is to do there, anchor, before meeting the love of the life?» he/she asks then Anita, and in his/her voice there is a deep melancholy.

«I don't know how much road there is to do» I beat me «at times the loves make some immense turns, of the long trips, but perhaps attends him it is worth.»

We have been mute to reflect on my question, absorbed in the light of the moon. Do the loves make some long turns before disembarking on the ground of our life indeed? Nevertheless, I should not be me to pormi this dilemma, from the moment that - at least so I think - the love of my life is already close to me.

The drunkenness has left each other a sense of void and a deep melancholy, and it seems that to the dark I/you/he/she come better us to confess our feelings. In the silence I feel their breaths. There is no car that passes down for road, only the rice of some little boy and the noise of a distant moped.

«And if we didn't know how to recognize him/it instead? If he arrives, but for some motive we labor to understand that I/you/he/she am that correct?» he/she asks Melissa.

«In that case» I answer «he/she wants to say that we are not ready to welcome him/it. Because, I challenge me, if the correct one arrives, you understand him/it and enough.»

### 5

Beep.

Sms from * love *

"WE HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER?"

Last night Dario and I are not seen there. After the drunkenness, the girls and I we have preferred to stay in the house to take back us some, in front of a beautiful game to Burraco that would have, as then you/he/she has really done, swept away every fragment of sadness and melancholy. Dario had protested for my absence, but after all you/he/she had not insisted as to see us.

In the hope of finally spending some time to speak of us, I accept his/her proposal.

"VA WE HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER WELL,:)"

It comes to take me at twelve o'clock. It arrives in his/her long and convertible car, with the hair to the wind and a gilded tan and not entirely uniform taken on the yards. You bends in ahead to open me the door and, when I climb, he/she passionately kisses me making a shiver warn me along the back. I reveal me to day-dream on a night of passion, his/her body against mine, the definite touch of his/her hand in the middle of my legs, my language on his/her neck. But imagination stops him to the beginning, considering that an instant after Dario has already sunk the foot on the accelerator and the car it departs to the speed of the light.

After ten minutes we have already arrived in our preferred restaurant, to the outskirts of Lecce. For the whole journey until here, Dario has been to the telephone with a client to rispolverare of the information around a construction in the province.

Is sat therefore to the table waiting for the first ones that we have ordered. I devour a piece of fresh bread and then I try to hold back me to take not to ruin me the appetite of it of the others. The appetite that I have today, note, is the motive for which we are ended in this restaurant, famous for his delicious dishes and for the abundant portions.

«Be', then, as has you/he/she gone yesterday? Is Matteo happy about the new center?» taming him looking for his/her look that I notice to be lost him in some thought of passage.

«Absolutely happy. I would never have hoped to find a so great place to that price. Believe me, you/he/she has been indeed a bargain.»

The conversation is interrupted on to be born from a sonorous beep to its jail cell. A message has arrived to him.

«Excuse treasure» it tells me without lifting the eyes from the display, and it dips him in a conversation written through his/her palmare.

«When there am not me in firm, one happen of it» always and while a grimace tells ago it with the lips and curls the nose «possible that to Matteo escapes of hand the situation?»

It has the worried expression.

«Thing has happened?» taming him.

«Nothing through that I can resolve cellular.»

Says this, he/she closes with a sol gesture the palmare and it supports him/it with vigor on the table.

«I don't want to ruin the lunch with my usual problems of job. We are not seen yesterday already there.»

It supports the elbows on the table and it does ahead him with the bust. It observes me and it smiles at me.

«As the study you/he/she has gone yesterday afternoon?»

My goodness. It almost seems me unbelievable that he is interesting to me. Not that never does him/it, for charity, it is one of the few gold boys remained on the face of the earth, but lately, with the thousand tied up appointments to his/her job, it comes him rather difficult to try interest for my problem list.

«Be'» I clear up me the voice, it sues to tell him everything, to disclose not to have studied him but to have gone around with the girls, to tell him of our beautiful afternoon in center, of you purchase him facts, of the earrings taken by Bijou Brigitte, of the drunkenness, and we can finally get organized as it regards the presentation of May 14.

«Be', yesterday pomerig.»

Beep.

This time it is a call.

I am mute and immovable, with an annoying sense of humiliation to have been interrupted on the most beautiful.

«Uffa, excuse treasure.»

He/she answers to the call without thinking twice of us and it gets up from his/her place.

«I have told you thousand times that it needs first to bring all the names in the special register, otherwise it is logical that we risk to lose someone of it for road.» The feels him/it say while it is estranging from the table.

What a fool. And I hoped that today we would finally be been able to be some calmest. If indeed he/she wanted to enjoy himself/herself/themselves my presence and our lunch together as you/he/she has made me intend ago few minutes, you/he/she should perhaps extinguish him/it that damned cellular. No, be goes', I force me to put me in its cloths. It is the pillar of his/her firm, the business would not have been all right, dopotutto, if you/he/she had not been for Dario. To extinguish the jail cell must have become an impossible thing, for him that it has to have everything under control in every moment of the day.

While I am bite another bit of bread, I see him/it return.

«Excuse me treasure, thing it is that you said?»

He/she returns in the position of before, with the bust in before and the elbows supported on the table.

«Ehm. the study has been all right, yesterday you/he/she has been all right.» The answers without any enthusiasm in the voice. The desire has passed me to tell him everything.

«Good small, you are you really giving to do with the examinations. What is that?»

It refers to a book that emerges out of my purse. I always bring a book to read with me, in the case in which I/you had to have need to kill the time, which lately happens often enough also, when I go out with Dario; its phone calls of job can now last also long quarters of.

«Oh nothing, is only a book» I answer without interest.

«Yes, I see him/it that it is a book, I intended that book is.»

I look at him/it for a moment while it is faking to interest himself/herself/themselves in the book that I have brought with me and I end up moving me. I know what it intends to do. You/he/she is trying to recover and he/she knows whether to take the matter hovers with me it is a good way to succeed us. I feel almost badly me for the fact that this attempt is doing. I want to say, it doesn't have anything to recover after all, nothing to reproach him or for which to feel himself/herself/themselves in guilt, he is only a responsible man, that ago his/her duty. I should not do him him to weigh. However I hold him/it happy unthreading the book from the purse and answering to his/her question with some more than enthusiasm in the voice, to make to understand him that I don't have him with him.

«I have begun from not too long him," Á. the shade of the tulips", it seems me very interesting.»

«Of what he/she speaks?» ask me.

I would almost like that you/he/she had not asked me this question. He doesn't care of thing he/she speaks this book, it doesn't interest at all him. You sees far a mile that the only thing that he/she would like to know in this instant it is if Matteo has followed his/her instructions and if in firm everything is proceeding well. And then Dario doesn't like to read, you/he/she has never read one of it in his/her life - except mine, after having threatened him/it with the senses of guilt - not to consider that this is a sentimental and, if really it had to interest himself/herself/themselves in a book, with every probability it would not be to one of this literary kind.

«He/she speaks of a love story» I answer, trying to be brief and concise and to end here this conversation «a woman's history to the search of the man of his/her dreams, here.»

«And who would this Rocco Pedina after be?» question, reporting himself/herself/itself to the author of the book.

«Really I don't know him/it.»

«Who the publishing house is? The Mondadori?» he/she still asks.

«No, it is not the Mond.» The looks at him/it and The feels me almost offense «it expensive doesn't what the publishing house is, Mondadori is not synonymous of" only book that the punishment is worth to purchase".»

I admit that my tone has been some acid and severe.

«No, I didn't intend that. However is to buy always him/it a jump in the dark also, no? Do I want to say, who knows him/it this. Rocco Pedina after after?» it says, sticking out himself/herself/itself toward the book to spy again its name of the author.

Almost seem me that coop forgetting a small, irrelevant I detail: also I am an unknown author and neanch'io have published with Mondadori!

«Therefore you would make the same thing with me, you. You are the typical prejudicial reader, that would not buy anything else other than books of famous publishing houses. Compliments!»

I grab with anger a piece of bread and I put under him to me to the teeth, chewing with vigor.

«N.no, is not so.» he/she stammers, and the known one while the underlip slightly him. It owes to have understood to have shot a cazzata.

«I didn't want to say this.»

«Ah excuse, is already, true, it is not that you would not buy the book of a debutante, you would not buy in general a book!» I apostrophize him/it.

I feel indeed me hurt by his/her discourse. Doesn't it understand anything of books, because devil has to make the saputello on the only thing that is more than my competence that his? He can have her/it defeated in anybody else field, if really he/she wants, but that I/you/he/she leave to me that of the books. And then you/he/she has struck me in the pride: I have just published a book - with a small publishing house, for engraved - as he/she believed that I would have appreciated his/her discourse?

Ok, has clearly failed in his/her attempt to recover and it visibly appears been sorry of this.

«You have misunderstood. And you start also now yourself offending. The books are not in my affairs, and then? They don't attract me, they don't tell me nothing.» its tone is absolutely calm, The ams me that The ams becoming to hyena.

I believe to be angry in his/her comparisons but to have tried to repress him/it for too much time. From a side, there is the reason that suggests me to bring patience, because after all you/he/she is not hurting anything of, you/he/she is taking care of only his/her affairs, the business, the job, whoever would do him/it to his/her place. From the other side, there is the heart. It misses me, our discourses miss me to perdifiato, its solar and spontaneous person it misses me, the departed afternoons of sun to cazzeggiare miss me or to go off around some photos for the coast roads, its attentions they miss me.

«To you they don't say anything the books, to me they say everything instead. They tell as a lot me you tell me you, think!»

It seems that anything Dario says, unconsciously reflects today him on what I/you/they am within me kept up to this moment.

«What you want to say?» ask me.

«The books speak to me, at least. You never speak to me, if not of job. Do you remember yourself when you/he/she has been the last time that we have spoken? What we have spoken seriously, I intend. Are you always attached to the jail cell with your clients, cannot we speak anymore, but you are not aware of it indeed?»

I don't succeed in lowering the voice.

«I believe you is some unfair now» it says with sad tone.

«I waited me for him an answer so.»

Down the eyes and I already feel to climb the repentance. I would not have liked to tell him this. I was intended me that I would have succeeded in checking my feelings and to contain the disappointment. I would have done him/it for him, because after all I/you/they have always been fierce of his/her success. I don't have to be succeeds us, however, if today I/you/they are been able to explode this way.

«Excuse» I tell him crumbling a bit of bread.

«Excuse you» it says him redelivering me the book.

The waiter arrives with ours delicious first fumantis and perfumed, but the atmosphere is not ago anymore that of some moment. We have arrived hungry as wolves, seem instead now that our dishes don't thrill us as.

The same has been worth for every thing happened later. This way we have paid the account, for road we have crossed two old men, dear friends, have won forever two hundred European to the Tourist, Dario you/he/she has had the honor of veder dart in front of us a Lamborghini and the everything you/he/she has happened with the enthusiasm equal to zero.

### I can officially tell me leader in the sector" to ruin the days to the others."

###

###

###

###

### 6

«No, treasure, there not to even try!» Melissa exclaims hiding himself/herself/itself the papers to the breast while Anita tries to spy her to him.

«Carina, careful to what discards her!» Anita suggests me, that ago couple with me.

«Ehm.» by now we contend us the victory, but The have all paper that tie, my goodness. And now who Anita feels her/it?

«Not to want me of it treasure.» The tell her, discarding with vigor an eight of spites that it perfectly ties to three of to kind allowing the avversaria to close the triumphant manche.

Melissa sends forth an appalling cry that makes us jump on the chairs.

«I have vintooo!»

«We count the points, he can never know.» The suggest me in the embarrassment.

«It doesn't serve to count the points, by now we have lost.»

Anita casts me a fulminating glance.

«I had only papers that tied her, it looks!»

I wave her before the ten of flowers and the three of hearts with which you/he/she would have made even pure Burraco.

Picked up the papers and in the indecision whether to start a new game or less, Melissa looks me with perplexed air and asks me:

«As your lunch you/he/she has gone to sweethearts? You have not told us nothing from when you have reentered.»

I knew him/it that sooner or later this discourse would be jumped out. In reality I was cleverly trying to hold him/it away from my mind.

«You are right, I have not told you nothing. But it is because it is better to stretch a compassionate veil» I affirm definite.

«In that sense? Have you quarreled?» he/she asks more and more still her incuriosita.

«Not exactly. We say that I/you/they are exploded after so much time that I held me everything inside, here. I have not succeeded and I have told him him» I explain while I am mixing the papers.

«You have told him him of intention or is the discourse gone out?» he/she still asks Melissa.

«But does say thing girls?» he inserts Anita as it was fallen from the clouds «I am not understanding there nothing.»

«You are still with the head to your humiliating defeat?» Melissa mocks her/it.

«To the nth call of job, I have not succeeded more» I explain «I have told Dario that lately it doesn't do anything else other than to be attached to the telephone, that we never speak and the whole rest.»

«My goodness, and him that you/he/she has said?» he/she asks Melissa.

«It says that I am unfair.»

«Typical! As if in the couple he existed! only» it exclaims resentful Anita «the men are all equal ones!»

«I know him/it that it is right, he is not hurting anything of. It is only in short a responsible type, devoted to the job, that ago his/her duty. However.» mines however in reality it doesn't have to succession.

«. however it is not correct, Carina, stings and enough» continuous Melissa to my place «it is not correct on his/her behalf, The intend!» precise then.

I look her with tenderness. My friends always defend me. Indeed I never know if their suggestions and their suggestions were impartial or less, because they love me to admit that I am in the blame.

«You don't believe but a minimum of blame also has him I, excuse? Should not I perhaps be a comprehensive fiancée, patient and solidale?» taming, intenzionata to understand seriously us something.

«Yes, but up to a certain point!» he/she affirms definite Melissa.

«And that" certain point" you/he/she has arrived!» continuous Anita «you have been comprehensive ago up to a few times, it is already quite a lot!»

«You are perhaps right.» The responds thoughtful, rolling to lock of hair around the finger.

«Not perhaps, dear my, we am right!» continuous Melissa «and now you reflect: your boy works the whole saint day and sees for sometime only you the evening. If it is all right, you make together you a lunch a month. Would not it perhaps owe an attimino to think that besides the job you/he/she has decided to also have a private life?»

«Some that yes» I am worthwhile, while Anita nods with vigor.

«You are not happy, Carina, he/she is seen far a mile that you are not him/it.»

I reflect on these last words of Melissa. No, I hold correct to specify a detail: I am not happier. But first I was so much it. Dario is exceptional, we have always shared any experience, from the stupidest things to those more series. Dario is not the man everything of a piece, jacket and tie, that he takes too seriously always what it appears today. The Dario that I know me and of which have gotten enamor it is exactly the contrary one, we have made some cazzates together, before the firm entered our life. As those times that the watermelons stole from the private ownerships, risking to be open at keepers that they never promised nothing of good person or that time that a bicycle stole that you/he/she had not duly been tied up around the pole, all it took is lifting her/it of some centimeter to do her/it our and to bring her/it street without nobody had seen us. He said that the bicycles are not bought, but they steal him. It said that in his/her life you/they had stolen him some enough to believe that, as the karma, a similar moment would have arrived for everybody and that among our victims, with every probability, you/he/she would be been able to be someone of that thieves of his there. We had until too much time to always combine someone of it, to take trips in camper, to try the bath in sea in winter, to race naked on the sand, to skate on the footsteps of ice prepared in the periods of Christmas to play to hide-and-seek in the meander of an uninhabited harbor. We had time.

«Yes, now something is changed» I admit with sad voice.

«No, no, we are not there. He/she listens well: me that sad face I don't want to see him/it more» he/she affirms Melissa, then the notepad and the pen with which we were marking the points of the game takes, it changes page and it says:

«It serves a lot, in these cases, to settle an objective and then to word the footsteps to reach him/it. What do you want you more than every other thing? It is attention to what you answer, because this will be your principal objective from now on!»

It tells him/it looking me at right-hand in the eyes and aiming the finger against me as a teacher when it reproaches his/her small student. I don't reflect very in reality, because I know very well what I want.

«Be', I want back my Dario, I want us to return to be those that we were.»

«Ok, yes, and in the specific one as it has to be your Dario? What should you/he/she do please you again as before?»

«You/he/she should listen more to me, and to put aside an attimino the job when it is with me.» hazard.

«You/he/she should more often ask also you what you try?» question her, while he/she is annotating something on the notepad.

«Yes, exactly» I am worthwhile.

«And not to use the jail cell in your presence!» Anita exclaims.

«Correct! Rather, tell her/it everybody I would like that didn't have him really, the jail cell! What I know, even that it had solo of it one for the emergencies!» I answer with a certain found again enthusiasm.

«Well says!» it is worthwhile Melissa. Then he/she thinks of us an instant and it says:

«Even if to today's world not to have a jail cell is what nearly impossible.»

«Ah! And you/he/she should read the books!» I interrupt her/it determined.

The girls look me sceptic.

«You/he/she should read the books? Would this do you happy?» Anita incuriosita asks me.

«It would not do me happy, but it would have his/her slice of importance. I feel that, not sharing the passion for the books, we don't share something vital» I justify me.

«But you cannot pretend that now starts reading the books, if it is not a thing that he likes to do» Anita defends him/it.

«Be goes', you/he/she could also try us.» The get stubborn me. By now you/they have put me in head the concept of" to get back back it as I say me" and it doesn't stop me more anybody.

«Ok. but bushels known taking of all, Apple trees?» he/she asks Anita to Melissa.

«Some that yes!» she responds almost offense.

«Ok. And for you it is important that your man has a degree?» Anita asks me gathering in the sign.

I admit to sometimes have meditated us, but to the thought I feel me so scanty that send away away it in quattr'e quattr'otto.

«Be', even if I wanted to answer me of yes» ago Anita gathering my hesitation «you could not change this part of his/her life. He doesn't have a degree, and you cannot do there nothing!»

It comes me to mind that you/he/she could always take him of it one, there are no age limits in this sense. I send away away then the thought and I say:

«It is all right, doesn't it do anything, but would it perhaps be able. ehm. to give me to pup of dog?» I still risk.

By now I have taken there taste to admit the things that I would like to get from him. To speak to tall voice of his/her own desires, or even to write them on a piece of paper as we are doing us, if nothing else it really gives the splendid illusion of power to find the way of realizing them.

«Wow, a dog yes!» Anita exclaims with euphoria.

«Good idea!» it is also worthwhile Melissa. Then it reflects an instant, before annotating him/it on the notepad, and it says:

«But where would he/she sleep? Perhaps on the balcony?»

«It depends on the type of dog in reality. A Chihuahua could never sleep to the outside, for example it is an extremely delicate race,» I explain.

«Oh, to the devil, for a small Pablo I would also be prepared to hold him/it in room!» I exclaim at the enthusiastic end, as I/you had entered seriously in the part of one that is about to receive in gift a pup of dog. Then I remember my disappointment the evening of the presentation, in the estate of Vincent, and I change expression.

«Well! Is it everything then or is there some other?» Melissa asks me, tightening the pen between the index and the thumb, ready to go on to the endless one with my list of the desires.

I think it an attimino.

«Other doesn't come to mind. I fear that I/you/he/she am everything. With these characteristics, my Dario would be perfect!»

My friends exult. Melissa attentively checks what you/he/she has written on the notepad, it smiles largely, ago a small correction and then says with solemn voice:

«Here, this list should serve to remember you to you what you have confided there. Hang her/it on the door of your room, so every morning you will remember that these.» it pickets strong the index on the sheet «they macaws the qualities that Dario has to have I know that you return to be happy with him. Your objective, in practice!»

Says this, it tears the page from the notepad and it hands me her so that can take vision of it.

SCALING TOWARD THE OBJECTIVE

1. To listen more

2. No job in moments of couple

3. To ask around feelings

4. Not cellular avere/usare

5. Light books

6. Possession degree

7. To give pup of dog

I attentively reread the list. Seven simple rules to be happy again. Then Anita tears her/it to me of desirous hand to also read her/it she, races finally entusiaste in my room where we hang him on the door with some colored brace, so that the morning I can always remember this conversation.

### I don't know indeed as I will do to reach that objective, but I know a thing for certain: my friends always have the correct spirit to make to feel better decidedly me.

###

###

###

###

### 7

The following morning I feel to knock with vigor to the door of my room, while they are being under still to the covers with the ruffled hair and the dank nose. I have to be cools me.

«What devil you want?» cry trying to hold opened an eyelid.

The girls have become spiteful. Every morning knocks strong to my door in the attempt to wake up me, some times have also tried to bog me the face of toothpaste and to make under me the tickle to the feet, so I am due to resort to the keys and the evening I seal me in the room.

«Service breakfast in room!»

It is the voice of Dario. What devil us ago here? I furtively look at the clock to understand what time both. They are the ten and half. Merda. I hate that sees me in this state to this time of the morning, when he will be standing from a piece and you/he/she will already have turned mean world.

«I can enter?» he/she politely asks me.

«S.no, an instant, is not entirely dressed!» I stammer.

«It would not be the first time that I would see you naked.» he jokes provocative with voice, but The ams not him/it to listen.

I throw down myself from the bed with fury, I immediately start the brain, I get unthreaded me the pajamas and I dash him/it in the formed into a ball closet, I grab a pair of jeans thrown on the desk, I slip me the first shirt that I cross on my walk and I put the feet in the slippers. Before opening the door, I try to give back a form to my hair and to throw on the sheets so that to camouflage to the best that I/you/they have just gotten up.

«Cornet to the Nutella!» Dario exclaims not as soon as he/she sees me.

This morning it is a lot of sportsman. You/he/she has taken too much lately the trend of an unbearable man in career, always in black jacket and well combed hair. I finally see him/it some more to the hand.

«Thanks! Do we go to eat him/it in the kitchen» I suggest, to drag him/it street from the infamy of my room «what you do here us?»

«I have met down the girls. You/they have told me that you were in bed still, so I have thought about climbing and to make you a surprise!»

It makes me hang in front of the eyes the envelope of the breakfast.

«N.no, was not in bed, I was. putting in order!» I say with strident voice «but thanks, with the to be done some cleanings, had not done anchors breakfast! Do you want a cappuccino?»

«No, in truth among some I should return in firm. This morning a client has come for complaining about himself/herself/themselves of a dank ceiling, when in reality.» you/he/she jams, as if to the sudden one he was realized star again speaking of job «. in short, the usual problems.»

It waves the hand and he/she closes the discourse.

«You thing you will do this morning?»

«Nothing of detail. In reality I would have to prepare the discourse for the presentation, I could begin down to buttar two lines.»

«Which presentation?» he/she asks with the face of one that falls from the clouds.

I refuse me to look at him/it in the eyes in this instant.

«I had written you him in a message, recently. I will make a second presentation in the bookstore, on May 14.»

I/you/they have not exactly been sorry that I/you/he/she am not remembering of it or that has probably ignored my message, I become only me account than the fact is sad that by now I am doing a habit of it.

«Oh» its face suddenly becomes pale «14 has said?»

«Exactly. Is it one Monday» precise «because, some problem with the date?»

It is not difficult to realize that the date has him/it a disturbed attimino. Probably in his/her notebook on May 14 is already one day full of appointments, and accordingly it will have to give me hole for the nth time.

«I could not know him/it.» it is justified «that day we have out to job region, to big client.»

«Magnificent» I answer. Who knows how come the thing doesn't catch me.

It is also true that this presentation is fallen from the sky from one day to the other. To be able to book my fiancé to that of building Carafa, has owed him him to say one month before. To May 14, it misses few instead more than a week. I would have had to imagine that I would have taken this risk.

«I am sorry it, it is indeed an important thing. But so much you will get by very well, by now the emotion of the first presentation you/he/she has gone, true? This time it will be a walk for you.»

Softly look me.

«Yes, I suppose of yes.»

While I am reciprocating him the look, in all sincerity, I think that is a sin, but that by now I have to get used me to the idea that my fiancé will be able not to be present to many events of my life.

Naaa, exaggerates perhaps! It probably concerns only the initial phase. When its job will be stabilized and you/he/she will often have assumed ago other employees as me notice, everything it will be simpler, its assignments will decrease and it will finally have more time for the whole rest. The whole rest. These words pronounced by himself boom me annoying in the ears. "The whole rest", it is really this way that it tells me. As if its job were only the priority and me a consequence, a remaining thing, a leftover, an edge of pizza not swallowed.

«Well, now treasure I owe really to go.»

It gets up from the chair, it draws near and it encircles me the life. It approaches the lips to mine and a kiss cracks me to die.

«It spends a good day.»

When the door of entry is closed to its shoulders, I race in room and rest a moment to observe the suspended list on the door. Melissa was wrong him: in these cases, all it takes is imposing himself/herself/themselves an objective and to understand what the footsteps are for reaching him/it. Even before to impose himself/herself/themselves the objective, it needs to believe us.

Do I want to reach this objective indeed? Do I believe indeed that I will succeed there? And, do I have to be me to take back back me the Dario of once above all, or should you/he/she perhaps be him to return what was?

### 8

And so we are to the eve of my second presentation. To say the truth, starts to be quite a lot excited, as it was the first one. Rather no, worse! This time I don't succeed really to rest. Even if it regrets me to say him/it, I know that part of this uncontrollable nervousness is due to the fact that Dario won't come. Its presence is important. Also only to know there sat among the public him/it makes me serene. But there won't be tomorrow and, to tell her/it all there cannot be even my parents. You/they have just told me that they would not succeed in arriving in time because of an unforeseen event risen for the first afternoon. I appeal me therefore to the presence of Melissa and Anita, that have promised me not to miss and that however if they would not lose indeed her for any reason to the world.

I cannot be here after all to hope in the presence of my darlings to every sacrosanta presentation. At the end, the presentation of a book becomes an appointment of job as another. I organize one hundred, I cannot pretend the presence of all to every them and to force them to feel the same identical pappardella every time. Sooner or later I will have to learn to get by alone her. It immediately is the case to begin from, I would say.

I grab the business card of the bookstore and I compose the telephone number. I absolutely have to ask if it is everything confirmed. They are not made to feel!

In the female voice that answers me I recognize the girl from the glasses giant session behind the reception.

«Good morning, is Carina Coral, do I look for Giulio, is it present?»

«Oh Carina, good morning, Giulio is here, you attend only a moment.»

They make me attend on-line for two abundant minutes. My goodness, they now climb me the whole credit. After some noise from the inaccurate source, Giulio finally responds to the telephone.

«Hi Carina, tell me everything!»

Giulio is always very cordial and its voice arouses good humor.

«Hi Giulio, excuse if I disturb you, I would like only to ask you if for tomorrow it is everything confirmed. You know, we are not felt at all there.»

«Yes, excuse, is right, there has been a lot of job in these days and you/he/she has slipped of mind to send away you at least a confirmation e-mail there. For tomorrow it is everything confirmed, considering that that Gem is not made anymore there to feel.» he/she explains.

Gem has to be the girl that I go to replace.

«Perfect, tomorrow I will be then from you to the established schedule.»

«It tries to come mezz'oretta before, you/he/she should be everything ready for the six» he recommends.

«You can count us» I respond with less sure voice, remembering the delay that I/you/they have been forced to make the glance turns.

In to attack again, I feel a leap to the heart. Now that everything is confirmed, my emotion makes him feel even more strong and clear. I toddle in the kitchen and, visibly to the peak of the euphoria, cry to the girls:

«Tomorrow at five and half o'clock I already have to be there!»

You/they are preparing a dessert. I am them two the cooks of the house. I usually confine me to put the pot with the water on the stove, to systematize the products in the beliefs when we shop, to prepare and to respect my turn of cleanings. To the rest they think of all of them. Melissa and Anita can decidedly consider him some good women of house and the same thing of me cannot be said.

«Excellent!» Anita exclaims with strident voice. Mistake or is you/he/she avoiding my eyes?

Melissa gives me the shoulders and continuous to work on his/her dessert, as you/he/she had not heard my voice howl.

I feel in the air that something doesn't go.

«Girls, come tomorrow to the presentation, it is not true?» I ask suspicious.

«It is not true? Who has told you that it is not true?» ask me alarmed Anita and Melissa he/she still refuses to turn himself/herself/themselves and to face my look.

«No, was it a rhetorical question, as when it is said" it is so, it is not true"?» I explain.

«Ah I have now understood» Anita nods «as when he/she is wanted to ask the confirmation of something, using the negative form if in the first sentence that affirmative is used.»

«Ehm, something of the kind.» The nods interdict.

«Yes, in English it is a rule. That is if I tell you" It is true", in the question tag I have to use the negative form, or rather" isn't it"?, does understand?»

It tells him/it everything of a breath, he/she almost wanted rincretinirmi. Is you/he/she trying to distract me by chance? I stay to stare at her/it to braccia conserte.

«Now that have refreshed me the rule English, do you want to explain me what happens?»

«Yes, eh. that is. The have to go to the bath!» Anita exclaims while it is running away hurriedly.

This way Melissa and I stay. You continuous to give me the back and he/she is mute to work on his/her dessert. As usual when it puts on to the stoves, you/he/she has tied the hair in a minuscule pigtail to avoid that they fall her in I mix him.

«Melissa, wants to leave aside that sweet, once and for all? It looks that I have understood. Don't you come to the presentation, is it this way? You had promised me that there would have been!»

My voice is imploring. I hope that I/you/he/she turn him and tells me that I am being wrong me, that they there will be and that you/they could not miss for any reason to the world, but something tells that it won't be this way.

«Yes, I know him/it» it finally turns him to look me with does been sorry «but an unforeseen event has happened. Does the seminar remember yourself that were frequenting Anita and I?»

«Yes, certain.»

«Here. The last meeting you/they have had to anticipate him/it to tomorrow afternoon.»

«But it is not correct!» I interrupt her/it. «You have already frequented every day, what does it change if lose you the last?»

«Unfortunately the teacher has been very clear, not to participate in the conclusive meeting means not to see him recognized the credits. Am I the beauty of four credits, do you understand? They serve us for strength, kind a stonesthrow from the degree.»

«Oh, is logical that they serve you, good heavens! Be alone that I am sorry a world! Uffa!»

Puff and I let me fall on the couch.

«Dario won't come, my parents won't come, now you will also miss! I will be alone as a dog!»

I am practically whining as a child.

«We am sorry so much» you/he/she is saying Anita that really in this instant reappears on the door «but we are preparing you the cake to the amarena!»

«I am preparing» it specifies Melissa «and for the precision it calls Cheesecake to the amarena.»

The girls and I are convinced that this dessert decidedly brings fortune. Arrived in this house, two years ago they made to find an abundant slice of it in my compartment in refrigerator. You/he/she has been their welcome dessert for me.

«It is mine?» I asked, and they smiled at them me.

«It is the routine. We prepare her for the new whole coinquilines. It is a magic cake» Anita told me with conviction.

I looked her at an instant lost, but I smiled.

«And is it a true thing?» I asked.

«Be', every time that we prepare her/it, the people reconcile if you/they have quarreled, they pass an examination with a tall vote, pleasant things they happen.» he/she explained Melissa with to great smile.

«If you eat her/it, I am certain that a beautiful friendship will be born between us» it added Anita. Then, acknowledging himself/herself/itself my lost look said:

«Hands fortune!»

Be', then in the years I have learned to take the matter for true, since I have been able to experiment the magic of the cake to the amarena on my quarrels with Dario.

But for how much I love the Cheesecake to the amarena for his" magic powers" and for his/her dainty deliciousness, I don't succeed in thrilling me in this moment. I will be tomorrow that is really alone. You/they cannot even accompany me and I will be forced to take the scooter. I will arrive with the hair disarranged from the helmet and with the stunned face there and to wait me there will be only unknown faces. The only thought that comforts me some is to have taken confidence with Giulio. Imagine you if I had to have to whether to do with a sour and unpleasant chairman.

The girls that observe me to them look it turns waiting for one reaction of mine. Anita is supported to the door of the kitchen, as if he/she wanted to make sure himself/herself/themselves to be able to run away in the case I suffered a raptus of violent folly, Melissa is standing close to the sink with in hand the electric whip with which you/he/she was climbing on to snow the egg white and it has the expression of one that is found in front of a serial killer.

«You don't look me with that face» I say me «so much I can forgive only you to a pact.»

The girls keep on looking you hypnotize me.

«Which pact?» he/she asks terrorized Melissa.

«What the slice of greater cake is mine, obviously!»

### 9

Ok. No panic. I can do her/it. What will it ever be? I already have the ready answers and I know to memory the discourse, Giulio it will put me to my ease and I won't make any figuraccia. Has The first time been all right, no? Because today I feel then me so shaken? I have to accept him/it: in the life the times will happen in always which will find me alone to face some events, without mothers, dad, engaged or friends.

I slip me the helmet with the maximum attention so that the damage to my stupendous brown mane is least and I start my scooter. I have had to wear a pair of jeans to avoid to drive the scooter in skirt and I have out a pair of dizzy decolletés of head. In more I have put the sparkling earrings bought together with the girls and I have also been able to take the purse of Carpisa that would have had to wear Melissa, to which doesn't serve anymore today. In the bauletto of the scooter I/you/they have succeeded in inserting some copy of the book, even if Giulio already has her, and now I is ready to depart.

I arrive in advance decidedly and I park the scooter in the proximities. I withdraw the copies of the book from the bauletto and I start me toward the bookstore. The nervousness mixes him to the pride and the boldness that tie me to this book and this fantastic project that equivale to the realization of one great dream of mine.

Before entering, I furtively look through the glass of the door. I don't see anybody yet, but it is normal since we have anticipated a beautiful po.' Non ho idea di quanta gente verrà. Different people that have cliccato on there have been" I will participate" when I have created the event on FB. If they had to maintain the whole word, then we would be in many.

When enter, I am invested by a buonissimo odor of vanilla. I realize me therefore that you/they have turned on some Indian incenses, the undulated wakes of perfumed smoke can be followed that is forgiven for air. I immediately greet the usual girl lost behind his/her great glasses. He/she answers only me with a sign of the head, it is busy to speak on the phone and it also seems quite a lot shaken.

«I don't know him/it, indeed. yes. burdens that The have told him him. it is all right, aspect that comes you.» The feels her/it say.

When it attacks again, I throw me verse of her with a great smile but his/her face he/she is dark.

«Hi, do you remember me?» I ask her. Today it holds attached a label with his/her name on the breast, so I discover that it calls Katia.

«Certain, you are Carina, and you are here for the presentation!» it exclaims with acute voice «unfortunately Giulio is not here still, you/he/she has had an unforeseen event and we will have to wait that I/you/he/she arrive.»

While it is telling him/it, the telephone and her it rings again he/she answers in a battibaleno without not even apologizing himself/herself/themselves for the interruption. It restarts to animately speak and then it lowers the voice not to make to be heard.

I estrange me from her not to give the impression to want to eavesdrop and I launch a look toward the fund of the place, where you/he/she should hold him the presentation. With mine great amazement, known that they are already present of the people. only to pair for the truth. and there is also to girl sat on the couch. I reveal me to ask me who both. A journalist, perhaps? You/he/she can be. The day when there are seen, Giulio had spoken to me of a lot of his/her knowledges in the field of the journalism, but you/he/she had not mentioned to the possibility to invite someone of it for today. You/he/she could have changed mind.

I still observe her some and it seems bored, but perhaps one impression of mine is alone.

I am practically standing in the middle of the place as an idiot and with the heart that beats to thousand. Katia is still hocked to the telephone and me I don't practically know whether to do. When devil does it arrive Giulio? My goodness.

Ok, takes the initiative. Katia doesn't leastly mention to attack again, therefore I set out me plain toward the literary parlor.

«Good evening» I say, but I don't receive answered by anybody. Well.

The first thing that I notice, apart the beautiful girl sat on the couch, it is that on the tavolino of glass the copies of a book are exposed that surely it is not mine. The thing me awake not little suspect. I draw near me to the girl it sues to understand more us and I make a great smile. It is blonde and it has a stupendous pair of blue eyes. You/he/she has put a very strong lipstick on the lips and among the hair it emerges an enormous yellow flower. You cast me an a little friendly glance and he/she ask me:

«You are here for my presentation?»

As it would be for his/her presentation?

«Ehms, no, are here for my presentation» I beat to tone.

«Here of presentation is one alone of it, and it is mine» it beats her definite.

But what devil is happening? Who is this crazy person?

«I am Carina Coral, and Giulio perfectly knows of my presentation, you/they have given me confirmation really yesterday» I explain patient pointing out the copies that I hold.

«And I am Gem Venneri and I have given confirmation a lot of time in comparison to you before.»

Gem. This name tells me something. Ah yes, Gem is the girl that should replace today! Now it is everything clear. You are here for his/her presentation. But had not you/he/she cancelled?

«I don't understand.» The declare.

«I do you him to understand then me: thick Giulio and gladly he/she doesn't know that that it says, therefore a cazzata has told you. Today I introduce me.»

Gem is hateful. But does as devil come her to mind to treat me in this way?

I make a deep breath and I tell her with threatening voice:

«They are as definite as you to hold my presentation today, as you/he/she has been me promised.»

We look at there in with hostility. I abandon the literary parlor, so that to avoid a scene in front of the two that they are already sat among the public. I don't do in time to reach the reception to ask explanations to Katia, that Giulio finally makes his/her entry. You/he/she has entered definite in bookstore with special face incazzata, gives me before as if I didn't exist, a foot has crushed even me and you/he/she has not realized. Ouch, that pain!

It contemplates Gem, the hand grabs her and I feels him/it say:

«We can speak in private a moment, please?»

You get up and it follow him/it without looking at him/it in face. They are gone out out now and you/they are practically quarreling. In reality he hears only her strident voice, he for privacy tries not to make to be heard.

Katia me ago spallucce and an absurd history explains me on Gem. It seems that that girl tries a certain weak for Giulio and that, from when he has refused her because of his/her young age, she doesn't do anything else other than to insult him/it and to make his difficult life.

«They are known on the occasion of the presentation of one book of his, one year ago» Katia tells me with typical gossip voice «and you/he/she has not released anymore since then Giulio. A long time ago you/he/she has come to ask for another presentation, it seemed to be animate from good intentions, therefore Giulio has accepted to do him her to do. But then she has cancelled, for ripresentarsi today denying to have done him/it.»

It rotates the eyes and it looks at the sky.

«That girl is unbelievable she always succeeds in surprising us.»

We stay in silence to listen to some passage of the conversation and we try to understand its sense, even if we succeed in feeling only what says her.

«You had promised him/it to me!» is you/he/she screaming as a spoiled ragazzina «not to say nonsense. you macaws always the usual idiot. ah yes? As it would be? He/she doesn't speak really!»

Meanwhile they begin to arrive the first participants and all they ask where it is that my presentation is held, therefore it is obvious that Giulio has not told me a cavolata. The event publicized today is mine, not that of Gem. Katia sends them all in the literary parlor and begs them to take place and to attend.

After a few minutes, the two litigants finally reenter.

«Carina, I apologize you for this whole confusion» upset Giulio tells me «prepared the presentation will also, have beginning to moments.»

But it doesn't seem me really that Gemmates has calmed down. It has the red face and it seems a devil. The horns and a forchettone miss only her. As you/he/she will have done to convince her/it that today it is my turn?

We direct there all in the literary parlor, that meanwhile you/he/she is filled with people without not even we didn't make us of it account, and Gem withdraws the copies of its book from the tavolino to leave place to mine. I would never have believed that you/he/she would have done him/it. You/they must have gone down to compromises.

Before leaving, I see Gem draw near to Giulio and to whisper him to the ear:

«You/he/she is not ended here.»

It comes me to mind that, with every probability, he owes to have given her a lot of rope if she is been able to behave so badly. Or it is only perhaps more simply a crazy person.

However Giulio and I are sat now on the divanetto, we are preparing the copies on the tavolino and we are exchanging there some information under voice. They continue to flow people in the literary parlor and the disposition chairs they seem to already have been all busy ones. Dò a rapid look to the public without really looking in face anybody and I feel some emotion climb. I disarrange him/it of a little while ago an attimino it had me distracted by everything, but I/you/they have now returned to assemble me on the motive for which I/you/they am here. I restart to feel the lack of my darlings and a small hole comes me to the stomach to the thought to be alone to face everything this. I swear that to the next presentation I will be more relaxed.

«Ok, is ready?» Giulio whispers me.

I make him sign of yes with the head and we begin with the presentation.

We are in the beautiful mean of my discourse. I am narrating the plot and this time they seem also all parties. There is even someone who lifts the hand and he/she asks small close examinations. Between them, a youth especially distinguishes him that has the whole air to be a grind - a very Carina grind there is to say - that till now you/he/she has already turned me three questions. To look better it at a known face seems even me, but I is not certain of it and, even if it was true, I don't succeed really to remember where I could have sees him. There are other faces known in the public, but I don't deepen and I focus me on my discourse.

While I am being busy to answer to a binding question that an university teacher has set me, known that the most greater part of the public he is distracting. They look at all to my shoulders and some they also laugh. Giulio and I exactly turn there in the same instant, to see a gruesome scene of it. There is a door of emergency to our shoulders and, beyond the glass, there is Gem that the grimaces do with the evident intention to distract our public. But what problems does it have?

«Mr., The ask forgiveness.» it clearly tells Giulio embarrassment.

«No, but I pray, you also continue.» it suggests an elderly gentleman in the public.

Gem refuses to stop her/it. But how old is it? Four? How can you/he/she be able to make a thing of the kind?

Ok. Giulio invites me to proceed and I continue trying not to lose the concentration because of the faces lost in the public and of the head of Giulio that I often see to turn back himself/herself/themselves. It is not easy, but somehow I succeed in answering to the question saying something sensible, even if to my shoulders there is someone who has a good time making the idiot.

After some minutes, Gem finally decides to put an end to its ridicule show, but unfortunately it concerns only a truce.

With great amazement of everybody, in the beautiful mean of an interesting debate on the credibility of the cartomantis, we hear an acute voice that howls:

«Buongiornooo, would like a librooo.»

Giulio and I immediately understand thing is happening and we exchange there a petrified look.

«I would like a beautiful book that speaks of amoreee.»

On the word love lifts even more the voice.

It is Gem that is looking for to all the costs to disturb the event and to attract the attention of Giulio once more. From this distance known that Katia is trying to hold her/it good, but close to that stangona of two meters endowed with heels chilometrici, the small Katia practically becomes a defenseless little lamb.

«I now make her see me» Giulio whispers me, then turning to the faces lost in the public says:

«Takes to excuse me, you also continue.»

It allows us with a smile and it gets further excited.

My goodness. And I am practically now torch to torch with this thirsty public of information on my novel. Because devil the discourse of the cartomantis is interesting so much?

After a few minutes, fortunately I have restarted to speak in general of the book and nobody seems more intenzionatos to address questions. Giulio that seems to have systematized the matter has also returned it Gemmates and we have now reached the last regards. Someone has already abandoned the public from a piece, but the most greater part has remained here to listen to all up to the end. Me ago decidedly to like and also this time, apart the hysterias of that mad, I can tell me satisfied of the result of the event.

They are here now to the tavolino to put some autograph - ago a lot figo to call him/it this way! - and it is the moment that I prefer. They have come to greet me some acquaintances - among which also people that didn't absolutely tell me nothing, and I have had to lie affirming to remember them. and you/they have shown great enthusiasm for my publication. I have finished all the copies that I had brought with me and I have given indications to a lot of people on as to have the book.

At the end of everything I send forth a sigh of relief, rest one minute to exchange two chatters with Giulio and Katia and at the end I vanish me from the bookstore.

I decidedly feel me happy and you/he/she would have been here beautiful possession at least my friends to share with them this joy. Or Dario. What a pity that is not been able to come.

To this thought, I lean on me to the scooter and I unthread the jail cell from the purse with the intention to call him/it. I have seven calls without answer, among his/her mother, Melissa and Dario. I am about to press the green key on the name * love *, when I hear a voice to my shoulders.

«Hi Carina, excuse if I disturb you.»

I turn me. In front of me, in meat and bones, there is the boy grind that a little before he/she sat among the public and it made me gust questions. In short, to see in full it so much grind would not be said. It has a statuary physicist, it draws near plain with a sensual walk and at the same time decided, it has two marvelously blue eyes and the pink lips. He/she slightly wears a gilet of a color more dark color in comparison to the shirt and it holds the hands in the pockets of his/her black jeans.

«Oh, hi» I answer him some confused.

«I didn't want to interrupt you.» it says, pointing out my jail cell.

«No, it doesn't do anything, I was only about to call a friend.»

Because devil now I hide him that I was about to call my fiancé?

«But. we know each other?»

It smiles - it has the most irresistible smile on the face of the earth - and it lowers the eyes.

«In reality no, we don't know each other. I know him/it that it will seem you some strange, but I have a thing of which to speak to you, if it suits you. A very important thing.»

«How much main point?» I ask him. Yes, but that asks idiot!

«Be', I don't know him/it, he/she judges you: I come from Perugia with the solo purpose to talk to you.»

Look me waiting for one reaction of mine.

Does Perugia say? For an instant I don't know really thing to say. You/he/she has left indeed me without words. I dig in the memory to try to understand where has been able him/it to see, but if it is of Perugia, probably the only place where I could have meets him it is Facebook. It is really to the thought of Facebook an illumination suddenly comes me. Have understood who is!

«Phillip calls yourself?» taming him remembering ago the private messages of a few weeks.

«Exact, Carina. And I apologize really so much me of this whole insistence, also tell me him that have been a great ill-mannered not to tell you that I would have come, but you have not left me other choice.»

«Be', and then. thing is that you have to tell me?»

I begin indeed now to make suspicious me. If this has come from Perugia waits for for talking to me they are only there two valid options: or he is in love perdutamente - and would not be entirely a wicked thing! - or it has indeed something of important to tell me.

«Me, if you are not sorry. The would like to be able to talk to calm of it. I swear that I won't steal you other time, I have the train for Perugia tonight, therefore I won't subsequently disturb you. Would you like by chance.» to moment hesitates «. to take something to drink together?»

### 10

A tavolino of the Vanilla is sat to, the cafe not too far the bookstore. that besides The frequent of frequent. and we macaws tasting there an appetizer. The air is pleasant, we have chosen a reserved place, from which it is possible to admire the splendid view of the plaza that extends him of forehead but, at the same time, we cannot easily be visas, because the hedge that coasts along removes us every visual from the passer-bys.

From when we have arrived, Phillip doesn't do anything else other than to look me. The impression is that that wants to settle well in the brain my image before leaving again for Perugia. Its prolonged looks are often embarrassing and in that moments I don't know seriously from what it departs to look.

What devil do I make us session to the tavolino of a cafe with a perfect stranger, then? I feel me so stranita. Centuries will have been passing for the last time that has happened me to go out with a boy that was not Dario. Not that this an exit can be considered, obvious, but ago however very strange to share a tavolino with a perfect stranger. Apart that I often reveal me to look around me to verify me that in the parts there is no anybody that knows me, because - I challenge me - whoever saw me from the outside, as minimum it would immediately go to think about the only obvious thing, or rather that the undersigned has an appointment with this stem that is me before, without knowing that this boy falls to my insaputa instead in my life sustaining to have something of main point to tell me.

«I like this cafe» you/he/she is telling me now «it makes me feel as to house, because it crazily resembles to the Millennium, the cafe that I frequent in my city.»

«Fantastic, it is beautiful to find some family elements when he is in places that we don't know» I arrange «here I very often come there. I know Francis, the holder, from when I/you/they have come to live to Lecce, practically.»

Then him he passes a hand among the hair. You looks around, it seems to fix a precise point but it immediately dissuades then the look.

«Ok» it tells the end with definite tone, he systematizes well on the chair and the voice clears him as to get ready himself/herself/themselves to undertake the discourse «now believe me, it is very strange for me to be here, and I imagine that for is even more you him» it smiles and the eyes reduce him to a small, sensual crack «thank you for having accepted to come to drink something with me without asking me nothing.»

«There is not of what» I answer «truth is that now I am curious also me to know what you have to tell me.»

«I am here for telling you that a formidable thing has happened with your book, a miracle I would dare to say!»

It tells him/it.

«A miracle?» taming him amazed «what you intend to say with this?»

«You see, I have bought your book through the site of the publishing house, you/he/she had struck me everything: the title, the cover, even your name» he/she thinks of us an instant, cracking the lips «and the thing has been rather strange.»

I have the impression that is some to uneasiness, me ago almost tenderness. I notice tremor and hesitation in his/her voice, as it was not sure of the reaction that I could have me. Or probably it is because it holds important what it is about to say.

«However I have picked him up without hesitations and then.» needle to prolonged standstill «. and then The have read him all of to breath. Carina.» right-hand looks me in the eyes «. you have written my history.»

For a moment rest to fix him/it puzzled. In reality I have not grabbed to the flight what intends to say, perhaps because the first thought that is flashed me in mind is too much absurdity to believe seriously us.

«I have written yours. history? What do you intend, Phillip?» taming him to the limits of the curiosity.

«Yes, it is a rather strange thing. Will you now think that I am only a crazy person» me fixed for an instant, does it get up from the chair then «ok, feels, forgetful everything, goes away now and you pretend that has not happened anything, ok?»

«No, it waits!» the block before can leave «what you do, do you come from Perugia to speak to me and then you go without having explained me? You are calm, I don't believe that you are crazy. I would like only to understand better. Did you intend to say that. what The have written is practically happened to you in the reality?»

It returns to take a seat but him ago with hesitancy, as it was not certain to want to stay.

"That strange boy" I think me.

«Exact. I read a line and then.»

You passes a hand among the hair with the expression of who able is not to be convinced himself/herself/themselves of something. Be', it is not the only one. I am also me in difficulty me now.

The fact that is able star taking around me, swears him/it, you/he/she is not even passed me for the head for a nanosecond. This boy has too much the candid too face and the sincere eyes to believe that I/you/he/she am able star telling a cavolata. Don't consider the fact that has come only from Perugia in day to meet me. And then, could a stem of this caliber travel for Italy to the solo purpose to meet indeed. me? Let's intend in short us, I am a big beautiful piece of figa, with my stupendous long hair, the green occhionis, the bottom very hard, but he is too much indeed indeed!

For some strange reason, he/she succeeds me very difficult not to believe him. I don't really have the motive of it. Of however you/he/she has often happened me, I admit him/it, to day-dream on the formula" Every reference to facts, things or people is purely casual."

Is it possible indeed that I have succeeded to casually tell the history of another person? The plot of Destinies I am me her invented of healthy plant, possible that a history that for me it was pure imagination it was really instead happened in another point of Italy?

«Therefore, do make to understand me.» The tell him pushed by to curiosity by now unstoppable «. the same things have happened you that have happened to the protagonist of the history?»

«Exact» confirmation «that is, the fact that I don't call me as the protagonist is one of the little things that don't fit.»

I explode in a laughter. Now the thing starts to have a good time me. Phillip is looking me with an eccentric expression and some lifted, I would dare to say.

«Your reaction is curious» it tells me sketching a smile «I would be me expected, I don't know, perhaps that the thing would have intimidated you.»

«No» continuous to laugh «intimidated no. Is it that it is too much strange. that is, you say indeed that.?» I make a circular gesture with the hand.

«Certain. I confirm everything. You have written my history, neither more neither less.»

Now it appears also amused him. I owe to have infected him/it.

«Ok, believes you» I tell him, while my euphoria he disperses plain pian «tell me some, if it suits you. That is, for example, the fact of the degree. and of the trip. and of the cartomante. excuse, doesn't want to enter your deprived facts, but you knows.»

«Be', you don't want to enter my deprived facts. we also say that you have already entered there, publishing my history!» it mocks me and to this wisecrack both we explode in a laughter. Then continuous:

«Yes, in short. The have trentatré years, the history it corresponds to last ten years of my life. I have undertaken the studies of law.» to this word The put me to hand to the mouth in sign of amazement «. because you/he/she has always been my dream, that to become to good lawyer, but my parents have never seen him/it of good degree. You know, they is some from the narrow views, they never look over their nose.» needle to grimace «they wanted that The becames to physician.»

«But is unbelievable! I have guessed there really all!» I exclaim surprised.

«It is what I am trying to tell you!» he exclaims had a good time how much me «then you see, to run away from my parents I/you/they have departed for London. here, the protagonist departed for Vienna, me for London, but The believe that this is an irrelevant detail. Then I/you/they have returned from London because it didn't seem me correct to abandon the studies because of my parents. I was definite to bring them defeasible.»

«And then you have known instead a girl» I interrupt him/it.

We look at there for an instant in silence. I see how a cloud to darken his/her eyes. Again I seem to lose his/her look. You looks around, now it seems become impatient, then it finds again the peace.

«Yes, exact» it says «I have known Marta, we have had a fought history.»

«. burdens because of your dissatisfaction.» The interrupts again it, but it doesn't seem cross. You allows to interrupt and he/she attentively listens and with a lot of interest the details that I add to his/her narration.

«. The wases not very ready for an important relationship. In reality I/you/they have never been him/it. If I were tied up to Marta, I don't know how not to even say him/it me same.» in his/her voice there is to thread of bitterness.

«. because you never know how to find in any woman the key to open your being.» The quotas footstep footstep the sentence from my book and him it smiles.

«. The don'ts know where is that key.» he/she affirms.

«. and then the cartomante. also that you have met?» really taming him bewildered.

«Exact. An old mendicant, that always strolls about near the athenaeum.»

«And does it have you really motto those things?» I inquire me.

«The hand has read me and. you/he/she has told me that The would have known to girl, to very special girl, in to special way» to this sentence it looks me at right-hand in the eyes, knows deeply that The don'ts hold up its look and The ams forced to lower mines.

«You know better than anyone else in short me!» it exclaims.

«But no, I don't know anything of you.» The almost answer blushing.

«We go, Carina. Do I tell you that you have exactly written my history, you have spoken even of my feelings, in your book, do you understand? You know me in the intimate» its voice does more and more him deep.

«Excuse if I ask you him, but you have also lived therefore the abortion?»

«That great stupid. yes, you/he/she has aborted without telling me nothing, after having made to promised me that The would be taken me dear of his/her/their child and the whole rest, The don'ts know if The make sense of me.» its voice seems burdens shaken now.

«I understand» I nod.

We have now abandoned the table because we felt like making four footsteps. This evening of May is splendid and invites to walk, the breeze grazes our skin and gives us that marvelous feeling in the summer that draws near. People are comfortably session to the tavolinis of the cafes or on the stairways of she Asked her stealing the last rays of this day to the sun.

Known that Phillip often tries to change discourse and to speak some us or of something different, but the history has me so stricken that I punctually return there on. And so we are keeping on speaking of my book and they always come out new things.

«But at the end you have succeeded in taking your degree?» taming him.

«Yes, I have graduated two years ago, with the maximum one of the votes.»

It smiles at me.

«Compliments.»

«And you?» again ask me of blank point.

«And me thing?»

«You, apart to write, what do you do in the life?»

I feel indeed me strange about finding me beside a stranger and to feel me so to my ease. But, I feel too much above all me, too senseless. Truth is that I don't have nearby indeed a stranger. Seem me to know him/it. you/he/she has confirmed him/it to me himself. and above all it is as if The hads nearby Giacomo, the character that me same The have created, that character been born by my imagination. I look at him/it with the tail of an eye while he asks me of me, of thing I do me in the life and I would like to tell him thousand, million of things, I would perhaps like to speak to him of all of my existence, same tonight if I was able.

There is a strange intimacy between us. You/he/she could not be otherwise, if I practically know of every thing of his/her life.

I answer gladly to his/her question, telling him of my imminent degree in Letters, of the apartment that I share with the girls, of some folly that we have done during our cohabitation, of the magic of the cake to the amarena and arrival even to tell some days ago him of our departed afternoon, of the false quarrel on the purse of Carpisa and the drunkenness with which we have given around show for the city. It is Phillip he/she attentively listens to me, turning every now and then himself/herself/itself to look me, to follow better my discourse and not to lose himself/herself/themselves an only word, doesn't stop even me, it smiles and he/she nods with the head.

I don't leastly mention him of Dario. I don't know why I don't do him/it, but I feel that if I did him/it I would break a small equilibrium that we have established.

«Because you don't continue? Tell me some other, I like to listen to you» it says.

I speak to him of my project to write a second novel and we pleasantly chat some plot that I would like to develop. I keep on also chatting when we soothe there on a bench because of my pain to the feet, and it doesn't stop me more anybody. I am speaking, speaking, infinitely speaking, as I didn't do from by now too much, too much time.

In this moment it comes me to the mind Dario. Dario that now it will be back in house, in train. Dario that probably in this moment it will be to the jail cell with some client of the firm. Dario that from one year it doesn't tell me more nothing that doesn't have to whether to do with accounting and things of this kind.

«Yes, I like your idea» it says Phillip inserting himself/herself/itself in this brief silence of mine «I like the idea to give a double personality to the character, so that the reader will practically be seen two parallel histories and lists.»

It grabs a twig of fallen ulivo to his/her feet.

«It makes a lot Doctor Jeckyll and Mister Hyde.»

And now I think also about Dario. To Dario that you/he/she has never asked me, once, of thing would even speak one possible second of mine book.

They are even now there the stars in the sky. My jail cell is by now extinguished by some. I have become unattainable and I don't dare to imagine as you/they will have given me all for lost. Tonight I have really heard the necessity to cut out me a space all for me and the meeting with Phillip you/he/she is seemed me a good occasion to do him/it. But now you/he/she is done you delay and he begins to look at the clock. It has the train at nine o'clock and, even if the station is not distant from it is better here, that I/you/he/she don't hold back him over.

It is definite to accompany me first to the scooter, therefore we lift there from the bench and we return on our footsteps. We cross again from the plaza where we have taken the walk, from the cafe Vanilla where we have taken the appetizer and it seems me as if we were returning back in the time. This afternoon seems to have lasted an eternity but at the same time you/he/she has been too much breve, so incredibly intense that feel me sad to the idea that Phillip is about to depart. It seems me that the time has not been enough to tell us what we would have owed. Too things have been unsaid. I feel a feeling of dissatisfaction inside of me, as if I wanted to know other. And by now only few footsteps they separate us from the scooter.

«Phillip, say he/she anchors me, tell me some book» I begin, intenzionata to seize me to the last minutes to disposition.

What I hope is that, somehow, he can tell me something that illuminates me, that allows me to return home with the clear ideas, rather than to leave me with this feeling of incompleteness. But perhaps it is a pretension fool. Not even the words would perhaps succeed in filling this void that is opening me inside.

«I would never have believed.» needle him, the insecure voice, the low eyes on the asphalt «The feareds an only thing, in to as down here: that The ams be liked you.»

I don't dare lift the head to look at him/it in face. It is not possible that is telling him/it. No, my goodness, it is not this that had to say.

«Perhaps you are the woman of the forecast?» he/she asks had a good time and ago a brief break «you see, I have tried something of very strong in the light ones your book. I am liked a lot of, indeed. Apart the whole history of contour.» it says laughing «but The hads already fallen in love with you very before coming here to meet you. And I feared that coming here I would have discovered that you.» it jams «no, excuse me, excuse me Carina. I am saying some cretinates, you will take me for a crazy person.»

«I don't know more than thing to think. No, not that you are a crazy person, this no, but indeed. this whole history.» I/you/they macaws decidedly confused «and The have to fiancé Phillip. I have had great pleasure to spend some time with you today, and the history that you have told me. my God, is the most unbelievable that has ever felt and that you/he/she could happen me» acts the head in sign of incredulity, closing the eyes and then reopening continuously them as to assure me that everything this is real «but The have to fiancé, The have to life and.»

«. it is obvious, it is obvious» it interrupts me «The beg you to excuse me. But I had to come here to know you. I would have come to look for you even if you had lived to Kathmandu. And now that I know you, I care to tell you that I would have come to look for you even if I/you had not written that story. Do I like from this whole history independently» he turns verse of me to look for my eyes «you have understood? I independently like from all.»

«Ok» I answer without adding other.

The scooter comes into our visual play. The time with Phillip is about to expire.

«As you have succeeded in finding me? Do I want to say, have you immediately used Facebook?» taming him when we arrive in the proximities of my moped and when it is by now obvious that the moment has come of also to greet us.

«Oh, in reality I have found you thanks to one friend of mine. You know, I am not at all an expert of technology and a modern halves of communication» it smiles making a grimace «but this friend has told that Facebook is a good way to individualize a person, and so I/you/they are created me a temporary profile to look for you.»

A temporary profile to look for me. I now make sense of me the motive for which it didn't even have a friend and it received only my updatings.

«I don't use internet, therefore after having found you and after having taken the address of the bookstore that you had published on the event, I have eliminated the profile» he/she affirms.

«But as devil you do not to use internet?» taming him amazed.

«It doesn't serve me» he simply responds, making spallucce «you/he/she has never served me. What serves me I know well where to find him/it: in the books» he/she affirms definite.

I look him/it at stranita. Phillip finds what serves him in the books. I have never felt anything more beautiful in all of my life.

Then he passes a hand in the hair and it says:

«Hate all these new means. He/she thinks that I don't even have a jail cell.»

To this point I am decidedly disoriented. I feel the ground slip under me to the feet. For an instant, I think even that someone is making me a joke. Known of the strange coincidences in what says, you no?

«How you are able not to have a jail cell? And if I had to have need to make a phone call?» taming him incredulous.

«In reality I have lied you» it says with an ironic smile «it is not that really doesn't have one of them» it starts looking through in the inside pocket of the gilet «in case of emergencies, use this.»

It extracts with an uncertain gesture a jail cell that goes up again ago with every probability to about ten years. Old man and height of bruises it is enormous. The numbers on the keyboard are hardly read so much they are consumed. We burst in a roaring laughter.

«Oddio, feels me an idiot» it laughs at taste «you will now think that they are out totally of head.»

It puts again in the pocket his/her jail cell and continuous to look me, as if my smiles satisfied him/it. It seems happy that its wisecrack has made me have a good time.

«No, I don't think at all it.»

Then I add:

«Oddio, perhaps a pochino!»

He/she anchors a laughter, but this time it is the last.

### There are said goodbye. A strong feeling of incompleteness was insinuated between us. There was not clearly of the says, of the incomplete one, of the not confessed. Four hours to speak of our life have decidedly been little. You/he/she had turned the corner and you/he/she had disappeared from my sight, but I persistently wonder now more and more me as you/he/she can disappear instead from my life, if it is among the lines of my Destinies that I will find again him/it every time.

###

###

###

###

### 11

«Good morning! We believed that you/they had abducted you the alien ones!» Melissa exclaims not as soon as he/she sees me sprout in pajamas, slippers and hair to the scarecrow.

To his/her words, Anita falls him in the kitchen with the comb among the hands and looks me with confused air.

«But where have you been? We had given you for lost!»

Last night, when I/you/they have reentered, they was not in the house and so I have taken advantage to confine me in room of it and to put in bed me. I had seriously need to rest and to put again to place the ideas.

I let me fall on the couch and I become me account from their expressions that have to be him seriously you worry. I feel me in guilt not to have written their at least a message.

«You have wanted to avenge you of all of us that we have not come to the presentation?» Melissa asks me.

«Of all of you who?» taming, with a certain paranoia, I have to admit.

I have not dared turn on the jail cell yet because I have had a serious psychological refusal towards Dario.

«Of me, of Anita, of Dario.» she responds.

«. you have felt him/it?» I inquire me guilty.

«If we have felt him/it? You/he/she will have called us at least hundred times!»

«And you thing you have said?» I ask alarmed.

«But were we seriously you worry, has not you/he/she come to mind to invent us something there, do you know? Because, would we have owed?»

Their looks are now made malicious. Anita has supported the comb on the table, is sat on the nearest chair to me and you/he/she has lifted up the ears to the listening. The expression of Melissa is clearly that of one who he/she cannot wait to feel the history of the betrayal of the year.

«What devil has happened, can you/he/she be known?» he/she now insists.

«I will tell gladly you everything in front of a beautiful piece of cake to the amarena» I affirm.

And I have to say that the whole history, reported to my friends after a good refreshing sleep and to times of distance, it seems a lot me absurd. But was I me that indeed of last night? Has that whole tied up impossible history to my novel happened indeed? Have I met Phillip indeed? The doubt comes me that could have dreamt everything.

The girls are looking me with the wide open mouth and from that I understand that esterrefatte has remained at least how much me.

«You say something» I incite her.

«You/he/she is not passed you in the brain that he was taking game of you?» Anita asks me.

«Even for a second» I admit me «it had the angelic too face, the sincere eyes too much, the type didn't seem me» sigh to fund «and then you/he/she has come from Perugia until here to speak to me. It was evident that it held seriously us to tell me everything.»

I get up me from the couch and I go me to the refrigerator to take a bottle of water. The girls don't release me an instant, anywhere me goes they follow me with the look. I return to the couch and I let me sink.

«I feel me upset.»

«But because you have not told us that you were with that type? And because devil you have extinguished the jail cell for the whole time?» their inquiring look grazes the comedian.

«I don't know him/it, indeed. That boy. The don'ts know, something has happened. I liked to be with him» I admit.

«You are you in love?» Melissa asks me, that is the more minx of the two, but from his/her look it is perfectly understood that also Anita would have liked to ask me the same thing.

«But what do you say?» I reproach her/it «obvious that have not gotten enamor! I liked to be with him for so many different reasons: because it was bright, because it was kind, because I could talk him to free wheel without it interrupted me. Rather it seemed, that he liked to be to listen to me. And then it was beeellooo.»

I fold up the head of side with dreamy air and I surprise me of myself and of what I am confessing. The girls exchange vicendevolmente a wise look.

«It is cooked» it tells Anita Melissa. Melissa nods and then they return to look me.

«I am not cooked!» I reproach her anchors «is alone that, have patience, have written the life of that type without not even knowing him/it! Don't seem me anchors true! However yes, there has been last night something of detail between us» I admit with difficulty.

«To thing you report yourself?» Anita jumps.

«You are kissed you?» Melissa asks me.

«But no! I would never make a thing of the kind to Dario! I intend only that there was a particular complicity between us. And besides he likes I» announcement.

«He likes you? Has you/he/she told you him him?» he/she asks Melissa.

«Yes. It says that according to him I am the girl that had foretold the cartomante. In few words, the woman of his/her life.»

Rest silent to look at the void. The girls respect my silence and they don't speak more even to them.

You understands very well that last night something special has happened, more special than a kiss, without doubt. Something that doesn't have to whether to see with the fisicità but something spiritual, that he/she resides in the soul.

«However» I intervene again «the thing ends here. There are said goodbye. The most unbelievable thing of my life has happened with that boy, yes, but this doesn't mean nothing. I have Dario, and it am better rather, that I/you/he/she expedite me to turn on the jail cell and to face him/it.»

«Therefore will you pretend that has not happened anything? What you ever are not you known?» Melissa asks me.

«Exact» I affirm me with determination.

«You won't feel you anymore? Has not a message even written you to tell you that you/he/she has arrived home?» question again more and more incapable to accept the end of this history.

«No, nothing. Apart that.» The explode in to laughter «. it never uses the jail cell, therefore The doubts that to message would have written me.»

The faces of the girls assume some strange expressions. That of Melissa twists him all in sign of amazement, that of Anita is clearly upset.

«It doesn't use the jail cell?» they ask in unison.

«Already. And however we have not even exchanged there the number, I don't see how you/he/she could write me» I remember me to the sudden one.

«Facebook? You could look for him/it you on Facebook» Anita proposes me.

«There is not on Facebook. Or at least there is not more» I explain me «and then I don't intend to look for him/it however. Have not you understood? You/he/she is ended this way. You/he/she has been only a parenthesis. It was necessary that it told me those things, stop.»

We stay again in silence for some instant, before Melissa again intervenes to say helping himself/herself/itself to hold the account with the fingers,:

«You talked with him to free wheel, he liked to listen to you, it doesn't use the jail cell.» he/she leaves the dormant sentence. It gets up of release and I see her/it go out of the kitchen to return after a handful of seconds with a ticket in hand. It hands me him.

SCALING TOWARD THE OBJECTIVE

1. To listen more

2. No job in moments of couple

3. To ask around feelings

4. Not cellular avere/usare

5. Light books

6. Possession degree

7. To give pup of dog

You/he/she has torn him from the door of my room. Who knows because the thing doesn't surprise me.

«What devil you have in mind?» taming her.

«No, it is only a verification. Are there other points that fit?» he/she asks me.

I feel Anita that tells her low voice:

«Surely law the books, give the way according to which I/you/they are known.»

«It is graduated?» Melissa asks me.

«But so much that point is cancelled» Anita admonishes her/it.

«Yes, at the end you/he/she has graduated» I admit me «and you/he/she has also said a very beautiful thing on the books.»

Their looks are surprised and at the same time had a good time. They don't want to compromise himself/herself/themselves as, but I feel that they would like to tell me a lot of things. I already imagine her to me. Melissa would surely tell that I should put again me in contact with him to deepen the matter, while Anita, that is the most romantic and sentimental of everybody, would give me a speech on the love and on the destiny worthy of the Nobel prize.

Molts stay to fix me instead.

«It is all right, girls. Now that know, you forget everything. You/he/she has been a beautiful parenthesis, indeed beautiful. And it seems me that here we are forgetting that the most fantastic thing of everybody is that I have exactly written the history of a person, without knowing him/it!» I still exclaim incredulous, lifting the eyes to the sky.

I fix the shelf on which we hold statements of the books. There in mean there is my Destinies. It is everything red, my name written blank, on the cover two figures sfocate that are crossed.

As you/he/she is been able to happen? As I have been able to exactly write the history of another?

### 12

To the lighting of the jail cell, the instrument seems as gone crazy. A message arrives after the other. They are all of Melissa, Anita, Dario and the notices of the calls of mother and dad.

I do me courage and I call * love *.

«Carina!» Dario responds with one note of apprehension in the voice.

«Hi Dario.»

It is the first time that we answer so, calling us for name.

«But can you/he/she be known that end you have done?» ask me worried.

«I am sorry a world, I didn't want to make to worry you, I wanted only to cut out me some time for me» chin.

«You are at home?»

«Yes.»

«I am arriving.»

In the turn of ten minutes, the intercom rings. I open the door of entry and aspect that Dario arrives on top of the staircases. The heart beats me. For a moment I have even difficulty to remember me as you/he/she is done. I am afraid of the effect that will make me see him/it after yesterday's evening.

«Hi» it says not as soon as he/she sees me even before to have arrived in top.

Look me with a dark expression and some worried. You clearly reads in his/her eyes that it owes to have feared to have me lost, somehow. It has a white shirt almost unbuttoned up to the breast, a pair of clear jeans and to the wrist the clock that I have given him for Christmas.

He/she embraces me and the neck kisses me. Hold holds me and releases only me after some instant.

We enter house and we close there in my room. You looks around, it spies the photos in the shed frames for the room, it observes the books of Italian literature opened on the desk and then he/she sits him on the bed, looking me in silence and waiting that I/you/he/she am me to speak for before.

«I have wanted only to cut out me some time for me» I tell him on the defensive.

«You were angry because we have not come to your presentation, true?» ask me.

I grab to the flight the occasion.

«Exact» I say with definite voice and I strive me to show me some angry «I was angry with you and with the girls, that you have left me alone in such an important moment.»

«And do you feel yourself better now?» he/she asks me.

Me fixed anxious to know. It is evident that it holds seriously us to know how I am.

«Be', the fact is that.»

Beep.

The jail cell rings him. Every happen whenever I am about to say something of main point, is absurd! He looks at the display and it curls the nose.

«My goodness, treasure excuse me so much, it is an important call, they are those of the Med Costruzioni» he/she explains me, as if I/you could know who those are of the Med Costruzioni.

I totally feel me deprived of strengths. I let me fall on the bed while Dario speaks on the phone bewaring down of the window.

«They are all modern buildings, with the armed concrete, good systems of summer ventilation, the zone is good. We have decidedly been stricken and the firm is favorable to the collaboration» I feel him/it say.

Has you/he/she been one of the few times, lately, in which have felt him address a question of the type" And are you now better"?. It was too much beautiful to be true. I almost look at him/it with hate. I hate him/it because you/he/she is changing so much. I hate him/it because you/he/she is estranging me from him. I hate him/it because, and that heck, has broken me the boxes with these phone calls of I work!

I/you/they are raged. I get up me from the bed and I go to the kitchen abandoning him/it in room. I take a seat me on the couch and I turn on the television to all demonstration volume of my incazzatura. I am firm on a channel of televendita but I/you/they have not even realized of it. After a few minutes, Dario reaches me in the kitchen while on the screen the demonstration is in progress of as a complicated utensil you are used for the gymnastics.

«Treasure.» The feels him/it say.

I fake not to feel him/it and to be interested to the program.

«Treasure» it repeats me stronger.

I turn me verse of him.

«What there is?» I ask him with enough tall tone to overcome the volume of the television.

«You can lower some?»

It points out the remote control.

«Because I would ever owe?»

My goodness, I am black incazzata.

«Perhaps because so we don't succeed in speaking?» it shouts for making to be heard.

«To speak?» cry me «from where it derives this verb? I don't know him/it! How does the verb conjugate him to speak? Me parlisco, you parlisci?» I pick around it up.

Him he launches verse of me to steal me the remote control from the hands. He/she immediately succeeds us and it lowers the volume of the television. Me rest molt and I look in the void astute in front of me.

«I was not able not to answer, it deals with a big client, it goes from there middle a very important project for the firm» he/she explains patient.

«I know him/it this. You tell me him every time. However I was about to tell you something of main point! Something that is inside of me! A feeling!» cry angry, beating a fist on the heart.

«You cannot tell me him now?» ago him sorry.

«No that I cannot tell you him now!» I howl stronger «I would risk to be again interrupted by the that damned beeps of your jail cell!»

While I am telling him/it, I become indeed me account than the thing has bothered me, not only today, but every time that has happened. Dario extracts the expensive his/her palmare last generation from the pocket of the jeans and extinguishes him/it in front of me.

«Here. Will not there be any beeps» it says «you now want to speak to me?»

«I don't have desire anymore.»

«And instead you would owe!» it incites me him.

«I don't want these histories anymore, Dario» the self-acknowledged one point-blank «not to look for me in these days, because I won't go out.»

He decidedly appears confused. It puts back the palmare in the pocket of the jeans and he/she sits him close to me on the couch.

«It is this that you want?» he/she asks me.

### «Yes, at least for a few days, so, to take back me some.»

###

###

###

### 13

We are not left there. And all has not happened because of Phillip. The thing had been being already in the air for some time. I am alone felt too much an instant of in the life of my boy, an a little important bargain for him, that has of of it of business well more important. I had only the full boxes of it and I have heard the necessity not to see him/it for a few days. Only to see him/it, considered that however we are keeping on feeling us and to send us messaggini. It concerns only one period of passage. I challenge me.

The girls have been stunned when you/they have known him/it and you/they have immediately insisted that the truth I admitted, their truth, and that is that I am me in love of Phillip, but I cannot admit a falsehood. I am not in love of Phillip, as could I be him/it? People don't fall in love him so, from one day to the other. It is true that sometimes, during the day, they pass me for the head the scenes of that evening: us two sat to the table, us two that we give back for the ridiculousness of the thing, him that it turns me a lot of questions sat in the public during the presentation, his/her blue eyes that penetrate my look. But this doesn't mean nothing. I/you/they have been only stricken from the event and it also seems me comprehensible. It is not a thing that happens every day, to discover to have written a story that perfectly coincides with the true history of someone, no?

I am silently walking along the avenue of the university with thousand thoughts that beat me for the head. The cars dart on the road and the noisy horn of an urban bus it makes me jolt. I lift the head and I realize me that, walking walking, I/you/they have reached the height of Door Rudiae. This way I decide to enter there and to go for a stroll in the historical center, as to the old times. From when I have put together with Dario, practically I have forgotten what he/she means to walk afoot. It has been being for a lot of time that a walk doesn't do for the historical center. Alone, besides.

I enter the door and I let me attract from the beauty of the buildings and of he/she Asked her, from the sun that it illuminates the bricks lifted of the floor, from the people that he happily enjoys this beautiful afternoon in spring. I proceed slowly walking more and more, intenzionata not to let none of the wonder to escape me that Lecce is able to give me tonight. Arrival up to the most famous plaza, Sant'Oronzo, and I launch a look had a good time to building Carafa, remembering ago the presentation of a few weeks.

I go me toward the Seat and I sit down me on the lowest muretto. I like to be here session, with the plaza that extends him of forehead, and to look at the people pass, to analyze as the girls they are dressed and to ask me if the couples are happy indeed or if they fake to be him/it. I always did him/it to the time of the university lessons, among a hour hole and another, were one of my preferred pastimes.

Now I am looking at a very funny elderly lady. You/he/she is dressed completely in fuchsia, it has the blonde hair - naturally dyed - and you/he/she has put on a strong lipstick to the lips.

"Who knows thing pushes her/it to dirty himself/herself/themselves in that way" I wonder me.

Is it the bitterness to have lost the youth really so strongly? How sad. I speak really me that I/you/they are terrorized by the idea to grow old.

While I am formulating these thoughts, I feel a hand that pickets on my left shoulder. Leap for the fear.

«Excuse, didn't want to frighten you!» it says a female voice.

It is Gem. Thing us ago here? And, above all, what does he/she want from me?

«Hi Miss it steal-steals» it tells me.

But what do toasts! And then it steal-steals? What cazzo of nickname is it?

«Hi Gem» I respond without enthusiasm in the voice. I/you/they are gone out for being some alone with myself and to reassure me, the last thing that I want is to be here to discuss with a crazy person as her.

You sits close to me putting astride the legs. Its shoe with heel of two meters is to a millimeter from my jeans. If it dirties them to me I kill instantly him.

«I have seen you alone insole and I have thought that I wanted some company» it begins.

«No, in reality I/you/they am gone out alone really because so I wanted to be: alone.»

My tone is super-unpleasant.

«You feel beautiful, correct for the chronicle, I have not allowed to lose for you the other day, but I have done only him and exclusively for Giulio.»

You removes the pellicines from the sides of the fingernails.

I stay in silence. What sense does it have to answer her? Don't interest me the motive for which you/he/she has decided to release the taking the day of the presentation.

«And in a certain sense I/you/he/she also enter it you» continuous.

«In what I would have to enter it?» taming bored.

«Giulio has told me of yours.» needle to circular gesture with the hand «. inciucio.»

«Of our inciucio? Giulio and I have not had any inciucios!»

I am shaking me.

«This is not what says him, dear. And however I also wondered me me thing could find us in you.»

Ago a grimace. I now kill him. Who believes to be?

«Ok. Tell me what you want from me.»

My tone is threatening.

«Simple: I want that I/you/he/she leave alone Giulio» it declares.

«I don't have a history with Giulio!»

While I am telling him/it, she gets up from the muretto and it estranges from me. When it is enough distant, it turns him to look me and it howls, unaware of the people that can feel her/it:

«If you don't release the taking from my man, you will have to see you her with me!»

It disappears in the crowd waddling.

I have the blood that reboils me in the veins. Is you/he/she emerged this history by where devil out? The first thing that comes me to mind to do is to immediately lift me from this muretto and to start me toward the bookstore of Giulio to ask explanations. It exactly is not near and I am tired for to have already walked so much, but it won't be this to stop me: time ten minutes and I will be confrontation with him.

I enter the bookstore to expeditious footstep and I fear that my expression already speaks from itself, because Katia is looking me as if it was seen a dangerous assassin.

«Hi, I have need to see Giulio.»

While I am telling him/it, Giulio emerges out of behind a shelf and meeting comes me with a pair of books among the hands.

«Hi Carina! What a pleasure to see again you! Can I be you profit?» he/she asks me with an enormous smile on the lips.

«In reality yes, I would have need to speak to you» I communicate him.

«Tell me everything.»

It wrinkles the forehead supporting the books on the counter.

«It seems that Gem suspects of ours" inciucio".»

I mime with the fingers the gesture of the quotation marks.

Giulio seems dismayed.

«My goodness, I am sorry a world Carina.»

Doesn't he/she know how to say other? Is this whole history true then? Is he invented of one inciucio of ours?

«But has thing happened?» taming.

«I didn't know just as to remove from me her of I return. I am sorry Carina, I have said only a small lie the day of the presentation. But, understand me, if I/you had not done him/it you/he/she would never have let each other make the presentation in peace.»

«It is not that really has made to do in peace, but be goes'.» The intervene, rotating the eyes toward the sky.

«Yes but trusted, if I/you had not invented that lie, you/he/she would have done a lot of worse!»

Katia nods to his/her words and gets further for leaving us alone.

«But thing you have told her of precise?» I inquire me trying to contain the irritation.

Giulio lowers the head toward the floor. Its voice arrives weak and almost imperceptible.

«I have told her that you and I have a relationship. But understand me, I had put to the holds, the presentation was about to begin, there was already some people to attend in the parlor!»

I look at him/it astounded. I would never be waited me for him from him. Up to the end have hoped that Gemmates him was invented everything, instead I notice with pleasure that Giulio has had indeed the bright idea to fake a relationship with me to remove from him her from the boxes! And it Gemmates it doesn't exactly seem me one with the small wheels to place, I fear that I/you/he/she am able somehow to take revenge of me or that could have taken everything from the wrong verse.

«But could not you invent yourself something different?» taming him.

He thinks of us an instant.

«I didn't know really thing. I have had some big problems with that girl. From when there are known, it doesn't have more me released. The most logical thing is seemed me by to invent on the moment, and I also has to say that as it excuses you/he/she has worked: I don't have more him felt since then!» it says triumphant.

«No Giulio, waits for an instant» I interrupt him/it not succeeding in believing in my ears «i.io I am not able. The don'ts like her to know this thing. In short I didn't want to have put in the middle of this history. Could you tell her truth now by chance?»

I cannot think just that that crazy if I/you/he/she absolutely pick her/it up with me for a false thing.

Giulio seems bored that I have been able him to make this application.

«And it is all right Carina» ax finally «I promise you that I will phone not her as soon as you will have gone away and I will tell her truth.»

I/you/they are tried to tell him" Phone her now, in my presence" but I decide to trust him. If you/he/she is telling me him, surely it will do him/it.

«Giulio, thanks well you.»

While I am telling him him, we feel a regard coming from a female voice on the entry.

Everything happens as in a scene to rallentatore; the female voice is unquestionably that of Gem, the face of Giulio it suddenly becomes pale and I don't do in time to make I count me of what is happening, that to a line the hands of Giulio grab me the face and him it clings to my lips giving me an impassioned kiss. Have me almost thrusted the language in throat! I try to wriggle me but the taking it is too strongly and we remain glued for a good handful of seconds.

The voice of Gem repeats the regard and is decidedly now more neighbor to us.

Giulio detaches him from me and looks me with imploring expression. Is you/he/she asking me to be to the game implicitly and to fake me his/her fiancée? Me, of however I am, too confused for opening mouth in this moment.

«Hi Gem, how come from these parts?» Giulio asks her, always assuring himself/herself/itself that I don't disclose the truth.

I don't know indeed thing is stopping me to get mad, it will be the suppliant face of Giulio or the desire to avenge me of Gem, that from when you/he/she has met me the first time on that divanettos in the literary parlor it doesn't do whether to consider me a splinter and to look afoot afresh me with air of superiority. However I must have become red in face because I feel me all one fire.

«How you can ask me thing I do us me here?» is you/he/she howling as a hyena «rather, thing us ago her here?!» point out me with the finger without looking me in face.

Giulio turns me a nth inquiring look.

«Ehm. she Khan as how many times he/she wants, here» it says not too much sure, not having the certainty of my support.

«It is with me» it adds then in the most total and evident embarrassment.

«Aaahhh!»

The cry of Gem is so acute that whole clientele turns him to look at us and Katia you/he/she immediately hastens from the department of the novels. I withdraw of a footstep and Giulio it looks for in every way of doing to be her/it silent.

«I love you Giulio! I cannot live without you!» is howling her, looking for in every way of embracing him while he cleverly wriggles him «have never met a man as you, I pray you, leave this slut! Look at her/it, it also has the belly and the big legs!»

For instinct down the eyes to beware down me of the belly. But as it dares? Ok. Calm. It is evident that Gem exactly is not in itself in this moment. And then I don't have at all the belly, and not even the big legs!

«Be', I also like with the belly and with the big legs» it beats Giulio with conviction.

Good Heavens, is it so that they see me the others? With the belly and the big legs? I have a sudden hot flash and I cannot do to less less than notice the faces lost some clients that had a good time looks turn me.

«No Giulio, prays you, you have to give me another chance!» Gem implores him/it.

«But which chance and chance? Gem, has to do you of it a reason, among us there will be never anything!»

It doesn't tell him/it howling, you/he/she is looking for rather to restrain himself/herself/themselves not to give show. It grabs Gem for an arm and it drags out her.

«You come, also Carina» it adds then.

I follow them and rest impaled in the entry to observe the scene. In reality I easily let me distract from the passer-bys that they turn looks incuriositi to the two litigants.

«You cannot be puts indeed you with her!» I feel to say from Gem.

«We now ask him him» ago Giulio.

Aim me the eyes I set and it is clear that is again imploring me with the look.

«Carina, also tell him him you that. you macaws with me.»

Its voice trembles. It is clear that he is feeling a perfect idiot about making me an application of this kind. But is it indeed so intimidated by this spoiled ragazzina? Doesn't it find the way to succeed in clearing him of it indeed?

I stay in silence for a moment, appraising if I/you/he/she were the case to lie anchor but the eyes of Giulio that beg me and those perfidious of Gem that you/they quadrate me from head to toe with an evident grimace of disgust convince instantly whether to continue this game is not then a wicked idea.

«I am with him» I nod «and it is well that you do a reason of it» I add convinced.

Gem looks even more me perfidious of before.

«But seriously creeds to be able to compete with me?»

It makes to slip his/her hands on his/her body, following the perfect silhouette of his/her sides while it is looking me combative.

«I don't want to compete with you. I am with Giulio and enough. Is it me that he wants, clear?»

Am ending indeed for immedesimarmi in the history and now I am definite to want to have won her/it!

«Ditches in I would not be you of it so sure» it says.

I look at her with air of challenge. Ok, has wanted him her. Without thinking twice of us, I draw near me to Giulio, I grab him the face and I cling me with strength to his/her lips. So much are kissed once there already! Giulio appears disorientated and, I have to say, I am also a lot it me!

When I detach me, Gem is a stonesthrow from us.

«Know, dear, that is not ended here» it threatens me.

We remain for some second to look us in with hostility, then it disperses him behind the angle, always waddling. You/he/she has released. It has again released the taking. Have won me: Giulio is mine! Ehm, is only that is it for game, obviously. But I am there so immedesimata that he/she wants some of it to make to return me to the reality of the things.

I turn a look to Giulio.

«Excuse for the.» The stammers, omitting the word" kiss."

«Macché, excuse me you! Have put you in the middle of this whole history! Thank you for having held me the game, but I will systematize as soon as possible everything.»

I nod with vigor and already only this allows to intend that the performance absolutely has to end here himself/herself/themselves.

«Yes Giulio, would be really thankful of it.»

### 14

There is a splendid twilight that of orange the wood of my desk The following evening, where is sat with the power on computer to traffic on Facebook. After having effected the access to the most famous social network of the world, I/you/they have gone sent in the private messages to look for those of Phillip and cliccare on his/her profile, since its last name is totally escaped me of mind and I cannot directly digitize then it in the box of search. I don't know why I feel this need, but it is stronger than me. Unfortunately I have been able to verify that you/he/she has cancelled his/her account, because its nominative doesn't appear more even in the private messages. There is no more trace of him on Facebook. Be goes', few cares, so much mine was alone a harmless, strange form of curiosity that I can send away away easily from the head.

I estrange me from the computer, leaving him/it power on on the page of our old messages, and I lean out me to the window. I feel a strange feeling of melancholy, that withdraws me even if I would not like. As I usually do in these moments, I climb me on the ample windowsill that serves as border to the window and me I sit there, folding up the legs and tightening her among the braccias. I succeed in perceiving an abundant portion of sky beyond the buildings of forehead, but I don't see the sun that tramonta. Nevertheless the colors of the sky are marvelous, and hook to admire the colored tones of red that infuocano the celestial time.

Who knows because it comes me to the mind Phillip. It has to be because we are met there really behind the sunset, the other evening. I easily associate him/it to these colors mozzafiato. It is eccentric as his/her features appears with great facility in my mind, me that instead I often forget and gladly the lines of a person and I decidedly have a bad visual memory. Its thought, enters instead my head with a facility, unprecedented, almost with intrusiveness I would dare to say, also bringing a certain bother, the bother of whom comes and it goes away without leaving you an exhaustive answer.

Toc toc!

«Before!» cry.

Melissa emerges from behind the door of my room with an expression that doesn't promise anything of good person.

«What you have combined?» taming her.

«Nothing. Does thing make you think that has combined something?»

Boh, perhaps his/her strident voice and his/her guilty expression?

After few second, also Anita makes capolino.

«Buondì!» it howls.

I serve down a jump as the windowsill and I return to the PC holding the body turned verse of them. When they enter my room quatte quatte, silent, with those guilty faces, they usually have to communicate me something that won't be a pleasure for me, therefore I get ready me to the eventuality to have to receive some strange news.

«What you were doing?» Melissa asks me pointing out first the window, then the monitor of the computer.

«Ehm. nothing!» I answer with indifferent voice trying not to give importance to the thing. But I don't do in time to realize, that Melissa has already glued the eyes on the private messages that there have exchanged ago Phillip and I a few weeks.

«You have a secret admirer and don't you tell us nothing?» Melissa asks me.

«No, it is not a secret admirer, stupid. It is alone.» The jams me of hit.

«It is alone?» she insists.

«Phillip» I admit resigned.

Known that the girls exchange a glance of agreement. Melissa also makes an occhiolino. My goodness. I would have had to close Facebook before they entered this room. They will now start making me the scolding and they will convince even more him that I am in love of Phillip, only because I have started rereading the old messages! It is the height.

«You have something to tell us?» Anita begins.

«I would not say.» The looks her perplexed.

«We have found this leaflet.» he/she explains then, handing me to sheet folded up expensive with. I immediately recognize him/it. What fool, owes to have forgotten around it from some part for house.

I open him/it and I reread the lines that I had scribbled some days ago in the attempt to write an inspired poetry.

I would have been able to tell you some other,

or perhaps to reach out for you.

But by now you have gone away and I won't find again you.

If not among the lines of the destiny.

I have the face in flames and I feel me bared. Because devil I have written these words and have not I hidden the sheet then? I have to decidedly have the head among the clouds.

«You are lately some strange. Sure that everything goes well?» Melissa asks me.

«You/he/she is seemed there somehow that you feel yourself. an attimino disorientated» continuous Anita.

«Be' yes, surely have lived best periods! I want to say, girls, Dario and I are not being all right, it misses me and I don't know whether to do» I explain.

«And Phillip. The wants to say, doesn't he have anything to I give with it really in this whole matter?» Melissa asks me he/she snoops.

I reveal me to reflect. Perhaps I would be a hypocrite to deny that somehow what has happened with Phillip you/he/she has left me an instant perplexed and. disorientated, yes, as they sustain them.

That that more it hurts me of this history it is the possession had little time to speak of everything. I want to say, not understands every day a fact of the kind. We have decidedly had little time to deepen the matter. Don't you also think him/it you? Do you not think but a history of the kind you/he/she had to be deepened, done study with care? Because I have written the history of Phillip? Or, do sense has wonder however, because?

«Be', perhaps a pochino» I admit with difficulty «we would have been able to perhaps stay in contact, to exchange us the number, to still speak some that that is happened.»

I make a prolonged break, then I restart.

«The whole matter is enough consistent, won't you think at all that in four hours we are been able to say everything there? In short, I have written his/her life! Four hours have been too much little. Then, yes, Phillip had come here for meeting above all me because he/she thought that I was his/her destiny. And you/he/she has owed goodbye instead to tell me, he/she knows that I am with Dario, and in short.» The ams about to burst in tears, The make to deep breath «The have lost him.»

Ok, ok, has admitted him. I/you/they are confided me with the girls that now look me perplexed.

Here it is, the truth: I have lost him. I have not been able to deepen an accidents in four hours, I will never know who Phillip is really, I will never know if our pits indeed" destiny" or no. And if you/he/she had been so but had not I had available enough time to understand him/it? If indeed we had made a stronzata to let us go to that way? If my period of incomprehensions with Dario were a nth sign?

«Even if pits, by now he cannot do anything anymore» I conclude resigned.

«This means that if there pits a possibility, would see him/it again?» Anita asks me.

«Probable» down the eyes on the floor «only to clarify us, to tell us what there are not said» I add then.

While I am telling him/it, I become me account that, in reality, the problem is not what there are not said, but what we have not had the time to understand. If I saw him/it again, probably they would not be the words to bring me to a conclusion, on the contrary the emotions.

«But has you/he/she cancelled his/her profile from Facebook indeed?» Melissa asks me aiming the finger to my computer.

«Yes, you/he/she has done him/it» I explain.

«Mmm.» Melissa is pondering «it is not on Facebook, have not you exchanged you the number of jail cell, is he of Perugia. in practice you macaws saying there that you/he/she is ended I know?» it exclaims.

«You have understood well» I respond with sad voice.

Melissa keeps on looking me, but now it has an indication of malice in the eyes. It gets up from the bed, it looks through behind his/her jeans and it throws out something. It hands me three tickets. Do they have the whole air to be of the tickets of. train? Possible?

«Thing I am?» taming senseless «you won't think at all that.?» I leave the dormant sentence.

«Aprils!» it orders me her.

Anita is smiling of taste and Melissa it looks me in fervent attended. I observe the tickets with hesitancy, as if me you/they could explode among the hands. But then I open them and I am exactly what I imagined: three tickets for Rome, with change for Perugia. Departure in date 3 June, at the 14.00, second class.

I open wide the mouth in sign of amazement, in the meantime the girls have started jumping on the bed as two children howling:

«You departs, he departs, he goes to trip!»

«Girls, but do you go crazy?»

I wave in air the tickets. I try to assume a severe tone, but in reality I don't succeed in hiding the sketch of a smile. I have to be sincere: my head is already to that 3 of June. Rather no, my head is already on the train.

My head, to tell her/it all, is really in that of Perugia to the search of the mysterious boy.

### 15

Eve of the trip. I don't succeed in taking sleep. I don't succeed in closing eye. The suitcase is already ready to the feet of the bed, the moon is tall the sky and me they are here with the wide open eyes in the dark.

How devil I have done to accept to depart? In these days, to say the truth, the whole matter is not even never me distantly seemed absurd. But today, to few times from the departure, now that the thing is about to concretize him, I have difficulty to realize what I am about to do. I am about to depart for Perugia with my crazy persons friends to the search of a man that suddenly falls in my life upsetting everything of my equilibrium. And where will I look for him/it? How will I do to find him/it? And, even if did I find him/it, what would I tell him? What devil are we doing?

Dario. Saint sky. Who knows as Dario is. Three days ago we have stopped writing us and this interruption, this sudden disappearance of his has me completely senseless. I/you/they have not gotten used not to feel him/it, not to know what it does. And obviously he/she doesn't know anything of the trip. That is he/she doesn't know anything, really of nothing. Does it seem you that I/you could start telling him everything? "You know love, I depart for looking for a boy that you/he/she has probably been the destiny to make to meet me and of which could be me person in love." Is really out that is discussion!

It misses me. God if it misses me. The last time that we are felt there it had a melancholy voice and he/she spoke to monosyllabic. I feared that from my voice you/he/she could shine through the deception and the senses of guilt you/they are killing me. But also the girls agree; by now Phillip you/he/she has invaded my territory with his/her absurd history and me I have after all to go until and to understand. I could not keep on faking serenity with Dario, when in reality there is something that the stomach twists me.

And if Dario had understood everything? I cannot think of us. The only thought terrorizes me.

But thing devil I am doing? I already have a love. I don't need other loves that the destiny decides to beat me in face. I have already chosen mine. I have chosen a long time ago him so much, when you/he/she had come to take me the first time under house, with his/her sporting motorbike and the jacket of skin. And I have kept on choosing him/it every day of our history.

I take a seat me of release in the middle of the bed and I turn on the light on the comodino. Fixed stunned the room in disorder. Every thing seems to speak to me of him. Of Dario, not of Phillip. Every object that he/she takes life in this room has a piece of history that him and I we share for a long time. The Thun to form him owl, that we bought the day of our first anniversary to Otranto, because we wanted that it brought us fortune for the years to come. The television scassato that we have escaped to his/her old grandmother. The suspended puzzle to the wall that we have built together, piece after piece.

I look at the alarm clock. You/he/she has given me him him. The hands mark on midnight. Is it still so early? I fix the inactive jail cell on my comodino, I grab him/it, I open a message, digito some word to the address of Dario, but I don't send him/it. No, I cannot write him. I have to hear his/her voice! Absolutely yes, I have to feel him/it!

Called to * love *.

«Carina?» he/she answers me halfhearted the voice of Dario.

«Yes, hi Dario» I say uncertain.

«Hi, everything well?»

«Yes, but I didn't succeed in closing eye» I admit.

«Not even me.»

And in fact his is not the voice of whom has wakened up in the beautiful mean of the rest.

«In these days I have not called you because I have thought that I needed some loneliness for.» to moment hesitates «. to take your decisions.»

«No!» I interrupt him/it «I don't have to take any decision!»

I don't distantly want even that I/you/he/she think about this. Even distantly! I don't have decisions to take; my choice is him and on this he doesn't discuss!

«You/he/she is not seemed me to understand this from your attitude, however» it beats.

«Be', yes, I/you/they have been distant, but they have happened so so many things.» The explain in rather vague way.

«Therefore if don't have decisions to take, because you and I are never seeing there?» ask me sincere.

«I have. d.delle things to be resolved» The stammers.

He stays in silence, it doesn't say a word.

«Tomorrow birth for a matter some complicated» I disclose point-blank him.

«Ok» he responds, after some second of hesitation.

Ok? Is it alone this that he/she knows how to say? Do I tell him that tomorrow birth and doesn't he/she ask me nothing? Where do I go, thing I have to do, of which complicated matter I am speaking?

«You don't want to know where I/you/they am direct?» taming incredulous.

«Anywhere both, I know that you go there to make the correct thing» he/she answers me and to these words I have a wince to the heart «and however, if when you will return you will want to tell me everything, I am here always.»

I am about to burst in tears. Have mistaken everything! Everything! Dario blindly trusts me. Do you understand extraordinary quant'è? Allow me to do what I have to do without asking me nothing, without asking me questions, without bothering me without making to feel me in guilt. He/she knows that the correct thing I will do. I don't believe that nobody has ever said of me a Carinar thing of this.

I won't depart. It is obvious that I won't depart. I don't care of anything. I want only to return with Dario, embrace him/it and stuffed the love, also risking to be interrupted on the most beautiful by a call of I work!

«Thanks» I tell him without adding other.

«I beg me» it says «have care of you.»

And I remain for at least a couple of hours to think and to consider, to turn me in the bed, while it is beating me for the head the idea that I could make to jump the plan of the girls and to abdicate the trip. Then Phillip reappears in my mind, still him with his/her absurd history. A great sign too much to be able to be ignored.

Is Qual the correct thing to do? Is Qual that correct thing that Dario is convinced that I know how to do? To depart or not to depart? To loosen the knot or to leave him/it as is it? To resolve the matter or to forget that I/you/he/she exist? To revolve the obstacle or to overcome him/it? I/you/they are grown with the certainty that the obstacles are not go revolved but old, and with the certainty that when you have a doubt, for small that is, you have after all to go until, because putting aside him to it risks to make to return him/it greater than before. It would be worse. Then, if there is a flame to extinguish, it is better immediately to do him/it, before a big fire becomes.

I watched the movie" Everything can happen" the other day, sat astride on the couch, and all of a sudden Keanu Reeves said": When it happens again you something in the life, you have to go at least to see of what he treats." I had remained to look it fixes his labial to stir beyond the screen, remembering to have felt me something similar in another circumstance, years back. I was a first years of the high school, probably, and a friend told me of a book that had just ended to read," Her words that I have not told you" of Nicholas Sparks. It was there always to repeat me that famous wisecrack on the regrets and on the errors, so so many times that at the end I had to read the whole book, so much had me incuriosito. "If you discover something that upsets yourself, it suits you to go until after all. If you pretend of nothing, you will never know what you/he/she would be been able to happen, and for many verses this is worse whether to discover to be been wrong him since the beginning. Because after a mistake you can keep on living, but if nothing else you don't have the regret not to know as you/he/she would be been able to go."

And usually, when dò too hangs to the wisecracks of the protagonists in the films or to the words of the characters of the books, it is because I have something of irrisolto inside of me and I look for hopelessly an answer, a solution, a truth in other people's words. And this is not all right.

To depart or not to depart? To depart or not to depart? To depart or not.?

Morfeo has still abducted me first that could take a decision, so this morning I get up me with an annoying sense of uncertainty that makes me neurotic. I have already given a pair of kicks to the chair and, looking at the clock, I realize me to have slept as. They are the twelve and thirty!

Ok, goes out now of the room and affront the girls.

Hardly in the corridor, intersection Melissa all excited.

«Buondì, but are you still in pajamas to this time? Look that the train departs at two o'clock! You see to hurry you, we have already prepared the sandwiches and we am almost ready!» it exclaims.

«Truth is that I don't know, that is.» The stammers.

Me fixed threatening.

«You don't know what?»

«I don't know if I come» I say without too many turns of words.

«You must have become crazy. We have made by now the tickets!» does it look me waiting for one reaction of mine, that doesn't arrive «but because you have changed mind?»

«I have felt Dario last night and a hold has come me to the stomach. I cannot do him this» I explain.

«But to make him thing? You are not hurting anything of. You had only to get away a doubt, you have also told him/it you.»

In this instant Anita emerges from behind the door of the bath with the dirty lips still of toothpaste.

«You have changed mind?» ask me incredulous. It owes to have felt everything.

«I am reflecting only» I answer on the defensive.

«If you don't depart you can never know. You will stay forever with that damned doubt in the head» Melissa tells me with maternal voice.

«But don't you realize what has happened? Of the strange way according to which you have known Phillip? I was you I would not have a least doubt to want to depart» Anita tells me, sincerely incredulous.

I don't have doubts that her, the trio's romanticona, he would not allow to escape the occasion to make to bud a Love with the Á. capital, to love" wanted by the destiny", as he/she insists to say. For her, Phillip and I we are destined to end together, because the history is too much absurd that ties us. You/he/she has repeated him/it to me so so many times, in these days before the departure, that I have ended up also believing us me.

«You feel, we do so: we depart the same, then if to Perugia you won't have desire of it, we don't look for him/it, Phillip» it proposes Melissa.

«Correct, we go around to enjoy us our stay» it adds Anita.

Ok. You/they have convinced me. The tickets are by now done, the suitcases are ready, the Wild B&B Mosto is reserved and Perugia independently waits us from the motive for which we are going there. Can consider him/it a simple trip to like among friends! And the thing, has to say, also allures me!

«And it is all right. Ready to depart?» cry.

«Us yes dear. You are you to still have the pajamas I set!»

My goodness, it is true. Better that hurry me or at the end risk to miss the train!

### 16

«Fairies in hurry!» I howl to the girls that are racing behind of me on the heels.

We are reaching the carriage number nine and we are in resounding delay. For my guilt, I know him/it! A voice robotics is already announcing the departure and I fears of veder to depart the train from a moment to the other without us. The girls would not forgive him/it to me.

But, fortunately we do in time to climb, on board and we have the fiatone. Each has brought with itself an only suitcase. we have to remain only one weekend. but it is heavy, because we have tried to put us inside how dark much possible things. Mine is enormous and I/you/they has succeeded in inserting us a good part of my wardrobe, three purses, four pairs of shoes and various trifles from the debatable utility. Luckily the summer suits don't occupy a lot of space, so I have been able to put also us things that in another occasion I would probably have had to leave to house.

Is now sat to our places and we seem you try. Ago a bestial heat today, and we hardly of sweat for the run sort. Those that we have occupied are set by four. Melissa and I are beside side and Anita witnesses us.

We are taking back breath, when it draws near a beautiful youth to the search of his/her place.

«Good morning. It is the number ottantanove, mine» it says, as if it waited for our consent to occupy the place that has booked.

I notice the look of Anita. You/he/she is disorientated.

«Yes, p. The pray» he/she stammers moving his/her purse to I give The spaces him.

You/he/she has been all right her. The type has the whole air to be a soccer player. A beautiful soccer player! They make him/it understand his/her well developed calves that they are glimpse under to the pants, the physical his/her mozzafiato and the borsone with the writing" Serious B" that you/he/she has just systematized on the porter close to our suitcases. It has a tattoo on the graven triceps and two malicious little eyes.

«I am Luca» it tells us seeking our friendship.

We have been stunned and we decidedly seem three idiots. When we return in us, we introduce us and we dip there in a conversation of which Anita has decided to be the leader. Among the two it seems to be us of the tender one. When we speak Melissa and I, the type not there caga of graze, when it is the turn of Anita, it becomes everything ears and it hangs from his/her lips.

«Where you are direct?» he/she asks to the plural but with the fixed eyes on her.

«We go to Perugia» Anita responds with persuasive voice.

«Stupendous city there has been for job a couple of years ago. Do I go to Rome, that not a lot of dista from Perugia» it seems happy of this «and you thing gone to do to Perugia?»

«We go to resolve a matter of heart» he/she affirms Anita.

I blush and I do me small in the seat. But so much Luca doesn't even notice me, busy as you/he/she is to discover if the matter of heart concerns Anita or no.

In the turn of five minutes, the two has entered confidence and their voices they become as lower and imperceptible. You/they are practically excluding us from the conversation.

However the malicious air of Anita has a good time a lot and Melissa and I assist curious to the show in front of us. The two he is decidedly conquering.

In my friend's sweet quadretto to the takings with his/her admirer, I see me and Dario to the first times of our history again. We was also so, accomplices and some embarrassed ones, with a certain malice in the eyes and with that desire to discover more of the other. The low voices and the eyes in the eyes. I always like to remember that moments, even if they make me become nostalgic. Then the firm has arrived and you/he/she has brought away us some our complicity. And eccomi here on a train to reach a person that I don't know only even because, falling in my life and telling to be found again him to me in my novel, confusion has decidedly put me. I don't want not to even think of us. The thing makes me be badly. It makes me be badly to think about being on this train. I didn't even have to be on this train there. And however I cannot certainly make now to return back it.

The big iron horse quickly slips on the rails and me, that I have fought since the departure to have the adjacent to place the car window, I enjoy me the panorama that flows fast in front of my eyes. We are left by now there to the shoulders by a piece our Puglia and his/her fig trees of India and I like to look as it changes as soon as Italy we advance of country in country. The sun has never stopped shining. I would like to stop the train and to go down for breathing to full bellows this beginning in summer and to roll on the grass of the great valleys.

To moments I am struck by a sense of void and I look at the jail cell as if from a moment to the other one you/he/she could light up and I was able veder to appear the name * love *, but this never happens. Dario is not made not to even feel for wishing me a good trip. It is clear that I/you/he/she want to leave me the due space and to give me all of his/her trust, which it is a thing that I appreciate a lot.

They are passed by now five hours from when we have departed and the two sweethearts in front of me have never stopped speaking. They have exchanged the telephone numbers, they have gotten up for taking a walk. The don'ts succeed in understanding yet where has been able to make himself/herself/themselves to walk on the train but tant'è. and they seem to have become by now to lot summoned of. Melissa and I are devoted to the crosswords and the sudokus there and we have sparlato some the people that passed in the corridor; we have not found of better to do.

The moment has now arrived to go down to Rome and therefore to greet him for the two sweethearts, but Anita doesn't seem particularly been sorry. When I feel them speak of a promise to see himself/herself/themselves to again brief, I understand the motive. It seems that Luca has promised her to come to Perugia tomorrow, so you/they can spend the whole day together. But as they are Carina. You/he/she has been indeed love at first sight for the two.

We go down from the train and we look you lose the enormous station filled of people.

«Then I call well you small,» you/he/she is saying Luca to Anita, giving a pinch on her cheek. Melissa and I stare at them stunned.

«And for tomorrow you already know as I want you.» it whispers then her in the ear, but The succeed in feeling him/it.

«Certain darling» she responds seductive «aspect with anxiety to see again us.»

They gives a kiss and him it gets further senseless, remembering himself/herself/itself with evident difficulty that Melissa and I exist also. Then he/she greets us with the hand, it wishes us a good continuation and it disappears in the middle of the crowd of people.

We do us wide among the cram with great difficulty, trying not to lose us sight the one with the other. Let's read the notice-board of the schedules and us we return account that our train for Perugia it is about to depart. We race as crazy persons toward the platform 6 and we practically salt on the train a minute that the doors are closed. Always perfect sense of timing, us three!

We are again systematized now there on the hard seats of this old train and we are taking back breath.

«Luca is not a figo? What I would do him.» it exclaims abducted Anita.

Melissa and I look at her/it incredulous. Anita has never been one from flirtation on the trains. If it is for this, you/he/she has not even been never one from expressions as" that figo" or" what I would do him." It owes to have suffered a metamorphosis in the last hours.

I glue her the eyes I set and I still notice his/her dreamy expression.

«Anita there is?»

I wave her the hands in front of the eyes to wake up her/it from his/her state of trance.

«Yes, yes, I am there, there am eccome!» all euphoric exclaims.

«You have made hit, eh?»

I don't believe it yet. Everything there would be expected, except that Anita would have flirted with a soccer player on the train for Perugia.

«Ah! Girls! It is fabulous!» you/he/she is practically fluttering «you/he/she has promised me to come to find me tomorrow!»

You rubs the hands with malicious air, then it stops him a moment.

«It doesn't bother you, true?»

«Some that no! You/he/she cannot bother us if it makes you so happy!» Melissa responds.

«But what has happened you?» taming her curious «I want to say, you that I/you/he/she call him/it" figo", you that I/you/he/she flirt with a stranger.»

«The people change, dear my.»

Look me with does bewildered, as if I/you had asked an idiotic question.

«But they don't change in the turn of.» The looks at the clock «. five hours!»

«Oh is here that am wrong you! People can also change in the turn of a hour!» it tells him/it convinced «however calm, I/you/they are not changed. It is alone that, I don't know, the trip, the train, is distant from house, doesn't have to give account to anybody.»

«You/he/she is allowed to go» Melissa tells me «for me you/he/she has done well.»

«Also for me you/he/she has done well, it is alone that I didn't wait me for him!» I exclaim incredulous. I would be me him expected from Melissa, even from me, but not from Anita. Here.

For the whole time that follows, we remain practically here sessions to speak of the history been just born between Luca and she and of their imminent meeting. You/he/she has not wanted us to disclose the details, but it seems that the two has in mind of the projects, as to say, not exactly innocent. You continuous to say that the distance from house excites her/it and makes her/it more malicious. It is intenzionata to dare as you/he/she has never done. I start to worry me. If we have lost Anita, that was the most rational and the most balanced of everybody, we can give us for sold.

### 17

We reach destination that we are tired death. We arrive in the station of Perugia, we go down from the train loading us our heavy suitcases, we look at there an instant around lost, we take the first available bus and we arrive near the" Wild Must." Or at least there has been said. You/he/she should be here, from some part in the outskirtses. The indications have been clear, but we have arrived from two minutes and anybody trace of a B&B. we are here to look at as idiots the cars that dart on the road and the secular trees that raise him in the park of forehead. But I suppose both nearly useless to be him of it here impaled: the B&B won't certainly materialize him from the nothing.

«Melissa, is sure that I/you/he/she am this the street?» taming me.

It is Melissa to hold in hand the map of the city bought in station, even if we don't know well thing to do us of it.

Melissa folds up to the left now to the right now the head following the streets drawn on the map and twists the nose.

«Ehm, yes, we should be in the correct point.»

It is not very convinced of it.

«Ago' to see.»

Anita tears the map from her hands. It folds up to the right the neck and to the left also her for some second.

«But what heck, who her ago the maps?»

It is clear that he is not directing.

«On girls, we put together our degrees and we try to understand where we find us» I mock her me, stealing to my turns the map. Not that is better than them to direct me, but three brains could work better than two.

To be himself/herself/themselves in a city that is not known with in hand a professional map that he/she is not known how to use is not the maximum one. If then three heavy suitcases are added, two of which without the wheels, the shoes with the heel to which we have not known how to abdicate today even and the sun that begins to tramontare, the situation starts to seem even more us absurd.

Also to me it seems to find us in the correct point, however. For an instant we look at there you lose. The fact is that the zone where we are is practically isolated, it doesn't pass soul long live from here. Not afoot, at least. And to stop a car in motion that darts on the road seems us an enterprise to a little impossible dir.

«Ok girls, I would say that we would have at least to move us. We check there.»

I point out with the hand an angle of houses. It is the point in which it seems more obvious can have been open a B&B. we load There the suitcases and we succeed in crossing the road without it stuffed to invest, but once come all.angolo we find you solo old blocks. Not even the shade of an insignia.

In this precise instant, it seems that fortune has decided to put on from our part. A taxi has arrived and you/he/she is stopped in the proximities. It seems to wait for someone.

«We go to ask to the taxi driver before leaves again!» I propose.

We again cross the road, always dragging the suitcase behind of us and, when he/she sees us, the taxi driver kindly goes down from the car.

«This taxi is busy» it says with sorry expression.

«Oh, you don't worry him» I respond with the fiatone «we would like only an information.»

We stop there in front of him, that seems very available to help us.

«We are looking for the Bed and Wild Breakfast Mosto, you/they have told us that we would have found him/it really in this point.»

He reflects an instant the chin rubbing himself/herself/itself.

«Mmm, Wild Must. it doesn't tell me nothing. Are you sure that I/you/he/she am found to this address?»

«Yes, to the one hundred percent!» Melissa responds «the gentleman that has made us the booking to the telephone is assured that we had taken note of the address. And of the civic number, 123.»

He looks around him with the wrinkled forehead.

«Be', yes, we are indeed to the correct height.»

But to the number 123 rise an old farm that is about to fall asunder.

«In practice there is not any B&Bs.» The add me suspicious «we will make to phone call to this gentleman» The it decides then hit.

I invite Melissa to effect the phone call. You/he/she has been her to deal himself/herself/themselves with the booking and to bargain over the pernottamento. It grabs the jail cell from the purse and it composes the number.

The number from her selected it is nonexistent. I feel even it me from here. But if have called for a further confirmation really yesterday!

«Nonexistent» it announces Melissa. Ago other attempts but nothing. The number results nonexistent.

«But as it is possible?» taming me incredulous. Them give faces, it is understood very well that not even the girls if they know him/it to explain.

«Be'» Melissa seems to fall from the clouds «that type, has to say, it was some strange now that I think it.»

«Some strange as?» I ask her.

«I don't know him/it, first a street has told me, you/he/she has changed instantly then saying to be been wrong him.»

It digs in the memory. Then you/he/she suffers an illumination.

«But are the bookings paid before, true?» he/she asks us with the tail among the legs.

«You/he/she has made you pay in advance the pernottamento?» the amazed taxi driver intervenes.

«Exactly» guilty Melissa responds «but had promised me that would have found all hello! You/he/she has said even that the supper would have offered her the house!»

Excellent. With every probability we have been victims of a fraud.

«If I am not indiscreet, how much you/he/she has made you pay in advance?» he/she still asks the taxi driver.

«But I didn't know. it seemed I know believable.» Melissa stammers «you/he/she has said that it needed to pay in advance to night, one hundred European to head» it hisses.

«One hundred European to head?» Is the taxi driver clearly amazed «but where have you found him/it?»

«On Internet» he/she explains her with acute voice «and I have not deepened, because it seemed a serious site, with the photos, the tariff one, all suit. He was so kind.»

It seems mortified.

«It is logical that it was kind: it was about to tap you three hundred European!» I exclaim indignant.

«Ok girls, calm» he inserts Anita in apprehension «are been defrauded! Now we are in the beautiful mean of an unknown city, with the suitcases, the heels, hungry and we don't know whether to sleep!»

You/he/she is practically howling.

«Stop her/it Anita, the last thing that we have to do now it is to enter the panic!» the intimate.

«I can call you another taxi that brings you in another B&B» it suggests us the taxi driver.

«Would be fantastic! Great!» I exclaim.

The taxi driver reenters in car and we sees him/it grab the jail cell to make the phone call.

«Girls, that disaster!» does Melissa whine «three hundred European, do you return you account?»

«But are you crazy to spend so much? But it is too much indeed!» I reproach her/it me.

«I wanted that it was everything perfect» it is justified «I wanted our first trip together to be unforgettable. Photo give it seemed a place with the bows, there was even the swimming pool!»

How tender Melissa.

«Unforgettable, you can tell him/it strong that will be him/it!» Anita that seems on the point to burst in tears exclaims.

«It is all right from the, we will find even more one of them beautiful, you will see.» The say me to reassure her.

«To a smaller price, I wish me!» Anita exclaims «I remember you that have the counted money, we cannot afford great things.»

«Calm.»

When you/he/she is worried, Anita becomes unbearable.

In the same instant in which the taxi driver riaggancia, a lady from the other side of the road howls to big voice:

«Taxi driver!»

He races to help the elderly lady position of suitcases. It has the completely grey hair and the wrinkled skin. He/she wears a flowers very light vestitino and a you cover shoulders in black end. When he/she sees us standing close to his/her taxi, it turns us a threatening look.

«I have booked him me» it says severe.

The fixed one with the hate in the eyes.

«And we am not stealing him/it to him, lady» I affirm.

«It will be better for you» it beats her without even not looking us in face. It opens the door and salt on the taxi with nonchalance.

«Attention to that black there is there very fragile valuables inside, precious of family» it orders to the taxi driver.

It is the most unpleasant lady that has ever met in my life.

«Girls, will come to take you a breve taxi, expected here» it communicates us the taxi driver after having systematized the suitcases in the porter.

«Thanks, thanks of heart!» I exclaim thankful.

«How much it will employ more or less us to arrive?» he informs Anita in apprehension.

«No more than fifteen minutes» he/she affirms him.

We have been waiting for two hours. Is sat on the eyelash of the road with the suitcases to our feet there. We seem three clandestine run away by their country of origin. The evening is by now lowered and our taxi is not seen still. In reality any other taxis are not seen, not necessarily what would have had to come to take us. Who knows in that zone finds us, forgotten by the world and by the rest of the city.

I get up me of release.

«Ok, has waited enough.»

I grab my suitcase and invitation the girls to make the same thing.

«You won't want to stay here to wait for the whole night? It is clear that the taxi has given us hole. We have to look for a place where to sleep!»

Melissa and Anita get up with the pout, they grab their suitcases and they start to walk with the long faces.

«My goodness Melissa, if I/you had been more prudent we would not find us in this situation!» Anita reproaches her/it.

They begin to quarrel and I serve as moderator to the discussion.

We graze blocks, districts that seem so much not reliable, see to dart taxi without succeeding in even not stopping one of it, and at the end we notice an insignia. "Cris Motel" you/he/she is written there. The girls and I exchange there a glance of relief. We race for reaching the motel and, almost without realizing of it, we are within with all the suitcases.

The first thing that I notice is the light soffusa, so soffusa that doesn't allow me to distinguish well the objects and the room. Only after realization the foul smell of closed that is coming to my nostrils. I turn a fast look to the girls that you/they seem as disturbed as me. Behind a small wood reception positioned after all to the room, sits an elderly gentleman with the glasses supported on the nose, absorbed in a reading that seems to take him/it quite a lot, from the moment that you/he/she has not realized yet that we have entered.

«Girls, I don't even think it about to sleep here» Anita begins while it is looking around him with air of disgust. Indeed everything can be said of this place, except that I/you/he/she am inviting.

«To me he/she knows about dirt» it adds Melissa.

«To me he/she remembers Psycho» continuous horrified Anita. I have to admit that, not as soon as I have been inside here, this it is the same thought that is also flashed to me.

«Girls, stop her/it, it also needs to sleep from some part, no?» I say me trying to make to reason her.

«To me instead he/she knows about a bleak place where the men are met with the prostitutes» it says Melissa ignoring completely what I have just said.

«Then thing we want to do?» taming me to the limit of the patience. I am tired, they make me evil the feet and the only thing that I would like, sincerely it is a beautiful bed to sleep.

«There won't be only this place in all Perugia, no?» it says Melissa «I am certain that we will succeed better in finding of.»

«Leave me at least to ask to the gentleman, so, for it stuffed an idea» I propose.

I go me toward the elderly gentleman with plushy footstep, almost intimidated to disturb his/her precious reading. When I am him more neighbor, despite the light a lot of soffusa I succeed in reading the title of his/her book: the Sacred Bible. The girls, that have followed me, are whispering already something between them. I feel Anita that whispers:

«I had told him/it I, am a diabolic place.»

«Good evening» I politely say, when I am rather near to the reception.

The elderly gentleman lifts the look above the occhialinis and me fixed uncertain.

«In thing I can be you profit?»

His/her hoarse voice, in a context of the kind, it doesn't do what our restlessness to increase. My eyes fall on an old clock hung to its shoulders, completely in wood with the consumed hands, and I realize that are the eleven. It is slow, we are in an unknown and lost district, in a malodorous motel of closed that remembers us so much the dear old Hitchcock.

«Ehm, us v.vorremmo to know that availability you have tonight» I stammer.

I fear that can read the fear in my voice. I/you/they are let me influence from my crazy persons friends.

The gentleman closes the Bible with a sol gesture, you/he/she supports him on the wood table and you/he/she looks us fixed in the eyes. I don't succeed in distinguishing its color, the scarce brightness of the room it doesn't allow me him, but it has an icy look, two out eyes and I left half open.

«For three?» question without emotion.

«S. yes.»

I swallow.

«We have only four rooms, two single and two double» it says.

«And does q.quanto cost the double one?» I stammer. Because my friends always allow to speak me?

«They are twenty-five European to head.»

Twenty-five European to head? Seem me more reasonable! I immediately would accept also, but someone of the girls is imperceptibly pushing me from the shirt.

«We think there an instant.» The answers stepping backwards with to clear embarrassment in the voice that The don'ts succeed really to camouflage.

The elderly gentleman keeps on fixing us without expression. It owes to have understood that we are allowed to influence from the situation there.

Once we return out, indeed account than is late. The roads are almost empty and you illuminate only from some sporadic lamp-post. On the sidewalks of forehead it passes a man in a long raincoat and I feel a sudden shiver that flows me along the back.

«Girls, thing we want to do then?» taming.

«Carina, pay me attention, that it doesn't tell her/it correct» Anita admonishes me alluding to the elderly gentleman that has returned behind his/her Bible.

«We could try two footsteps, we find better even something of.» it suggests Melissa.

«I am there» it says Anita.

«That is, you prefer to walk for the empty and dark roads of the city, rather than to make to give you a room of this motel?» taming incredulous. I have to admit that however they don't have all the blames.

«Altroché» he/she answers definite Anita.

I let me convince. After all this motel is arousing also terror to me.

«Thanks, good-bye!» I exclaim to the address of the old gentleman, but I am not certain that has felt me.

We restart to walk, but I feel not to be able to make too much still her for time. My feet are completely asunder, although has changed a hour ago the shoes replacing her with a comfort pair of ballerinas. I am exhausted indeed and I cannot wait to sleep. After only a couple of minutes from our departure, we start to feel in the air the anxious notes of a music metal. As soon as we proceed, it becomes more and more strong. It is not understood from where originates, but it is a music to tall volume, in which the lower part her ago from master and it spreads the echo of a diabolic voice that sings to squarciagola.

Anita stops him of hit behind of us.

«Stopped you» it orders us.

Melissa and I turn there and notice his/her stunned face.

«A satanic sect» he/she stammers.

«What?» taming incredulous. Thing he is inventing, now? Because not it suits him from there one?

«Not you feel? Music of satanismo» he/she explains convinced «you/he/she should originate from there.»

It points out a building with the illuminated lights. Behind a window outlines of people are glimpse.

«I don't pass us from there, you/he/she can be dangerous.»

«If you don't want to pass from there, the only thing that can be done it is to return back» it observes Melissa.

«For me it is all right» it says «I don't want to risk to be sacrificed for Satan.»

Melissa and I cannot do to less less than explode in a laughter.

«Fairies silence!» it orders us her resentful.

And without not even realizing, we find again there to return on our footsteps. I believe that unconsciously both that that we would have liked to do since the beginning. It is not prudent to walk alone to this time in a city that we don't know. We will sleep in the motel and tomorrow morning we will take our things and we will go, looking for a best place whether to spend the last night.

We again reach the Cris Motel and we find us the gentleman still lost in his/her Bible. You/he/she has not been changed ago anything for few minutes. It is still even in the same position. It seems embalmed. Or has you/he/she perhaps been murdered in this brief breaker in which we are missed? I have to admit that tonight the suggestion is strong.

«Returned S.siamo» I stammer. But he doesn't feel me and it stays immovable. It has to be some deaf. I draw near more me.

«We can have the room with the three beds?» I ask, waiting for one reaction of his.

The old gentleman lifts again the look on us.

«It is all right.»

It doesn't betray any emotion, but at least it is still alive.

It supports the Bible on the table, it gets up with difficulty from the revolving chair, it grabs two keys from the wall and he/she asks us to wait here. Good pretext to begin to look around us with more attention.

We analyze every angles, every suspended pictures to the wall, the tapestries and the business cards supported on the counter of the reception, that you/they bring the name of the holder," Gianluigi Cristiani."

«Oddio, feels.» crag Anita, that has aimed alarmed the ear to the listening. You/they are arriving some strong noises from the close-up, that you/they boom in the silence of the motel.

«You/he/she will be hiding some dead body.» it says convinced.

«Anita, you look at too many film. Now stop her/it.»

But, every noise to be sincere in this silent place makes suspicious also me.

After a handful of minutes, the old gentleman arrives from the close-up. It seems tried, it has the tired air. Anita tightens strong the handle of his/her suitcase and it doesn't practically move him from the entry, as to hold him ready to the eventuality to have to run away.

«Your room is ready» it announces the gentleman with flat voice «these are the keys.»

The number hands me three. By instinct, my mind it races to the scene in which Norman takes the key in the film" Psycho", but if I don't remember badly, the number of its key was the you are. I immediately send away by this absurdity thought.

«Thanks» I politely say, trying to camouflage to the best this annoying suggestion.

«I have added you another bed, to be more comfortable» it adds the elderly gentleman. Here explained the noise of a little while ago.

«Thanks Mr. Gianluigi» The now say, remembering his/her name on the business card.

«I am only the custodian, Gianluigi is the holder» he/she explains him.

«Ah, excuses me.»

We greet the elderly gentleman and we salt the wood staircases that bring to the close-up. To every footstep we feel her scricchiolare. All around it does us me to think about being ended in a film of the horror. The corridor to the close-up is long but above all narrow, so narrow that could easily be inadequate to the suffering ones of claustrophobia. Does this construction have to be old, in that year you/they will have realized her? The foul smell of closed and of dampness has not disappeared, rather. Here to the close-up it seems even more strong. Fortunately the room number three are her/it before, so we don't have to forward too much us in the corridor. On the walls they are suspended pictures representatives landscapes or portraits of characters that are entirely me unknown.

The door of the room is left half open. I slowly push and, before entering, I observe her/it mistrustful from the outside.

Now we are inside and Anita has stolen me the keys and you/he/she has closed herself the door, to make sure himself/herself/themselves that the thing was made for well. You/he/she has given at least three send.

Ok, no panic. So much we will be away tomorrow. This room serves only us for this night. And then in short, twenty-five European they are more reasonable, we would not be been able to allow more there.

The light is to low consumption, therefore the room doesn't greatly result also illuminated, as the rest of the motel. Immediately close to the entry, there is a door behind which a bleak and minuscule bath hides him, with a small sink set in the wall, a water that with every probability it goes up again to the times of the first world war, a bathtub all crusted and not even the shade of a mirror.

In the room, there is instead a small window with a dark awning, of a color that I don't succeed in distinguishing well, you/he/she should be a purplish. With a grisly atmosphere as this, I think, they would have at least can put us some orange, or yellow curtains. A wood closet with evident swellings to the sides, probably caused by the damp during the winters, it raises him to our left. I open him/it and it goes out from there a terrible foul smell of damp. I don't believe that the guests put indeed their suits in these closets. The mirror inside the old wardrobe is not clear at all, you/they would have been able to spare very well him him. I don't understand indeed as is been able to realize mirrors of this kind, if he cannot even reflect. What utility do you/they have? On the wall there is a solo picture, the portrait of an old bearded gentleman that an endless sadness communicates me.

But the upsetting thing of everybody, has to say, they are the beds. Ancient beds. How can you/they put in a motel the ancient beds? They are without words. They are tall and gives me the whole impression to be also hard. They are covered by a white sheet and the backs they are made out of beaten iron.

«But where devil are we ended?» Anita whines.

Melissa doesn't open mouth. In reality, we are so tired that don't have even the desire to say a word. Anita has to have energy to sell if, after this whole drudgery, it is still able to complain about himself/herself/themselves of the place in which we have happened.

I go nearbyer me definite toward the bed and I let me fall. Ouch! Be hard as a stone!

«The stones of Matera remember me» it observes Melissa «the beds were the thing that he/she remained me more than all engraved of that place. So much that when I say" stones of Matera" in reality I don't report me to the residences in the rock, but to the beds.»

We burst to laugh. Anita has the air some less had a good time in this instant.

«I have to go to bath» it announces with voice of child.

«All we have to go us» I reply me.

For the next thirty minutes, we take of assault the bath. We refresh there, we make our needs, we wash our teeth and we put the pajamas there. And we are under now to the covers, you petrify, to fix the void with the wide open eyes, while we are studying every least noise that can be heard in this lost and silent motel. And, speaking of noises, it is really in this instant that, with our surprise, we hear climb above for the staircases. Known Anita that gets up under immediately from the bed for fiondarsi to the door with the intention to eavesdrop. I do the same.

«Other guests will have arrived» I say, some lifted, has to admit.

I stick the ear to the door.

«I make you see me of thing I am able, beautiful puledrone» I feel to say from a female voice «I am the best on the plaza.»

Anita sends forth an urletto.

«You do plain!» I reproach her/it.

«Who is?» it howls the female voice from the corridor.

Merda. You/they have discovered us. They suspect that someone is spying them.

«You want to unite you to us?» he/she asks then with hoarse voice.

Anita races to slip under himself/herself/themselves to the covers, while I remain petrified in my position.

«He/she leaves alone, dear» you/he/she is saying the man that accompanies him «we won't want at all to ruin us the evening? It waits us for a long night.»

Just truth: a long night. They are the four of the morning and we have not been able he/she anchors to close eye because of the noises coming from the adjacent room. The two he is giving to do.

«We could not happen in a best place» it whispers Melissa in the dark «also the prostitutes now.»

«All guilt of someone that is made to deceive online» I feel to answer from the voice strangled of Anita.

«Also you alarm clock?» I intervene me me.

«Because, do you succeed in sleeping with these noises?» he/she asks Melissa.

Noises are strong, because of the bed of our fiery neighbors that bumps violently against the wall.

«My goodness, no that I don't succeed in sleeping. And then I am also some excited» I admit.

«Excited to be in the motel of Psycho?» Anita mocks me.

«No, idiot» I snicker «I am excited for everything. But do you remember him/it the motive for which we are ended here, to Perugia?»

«Because our Carina friend has to meet the man of his/her dreams, what she reads the books and that you/he/she has the jail cell of emergency, what is found again in the novel Destines, to look at him/it in face and to tell him": my love, is tied up to vitaaa"» Melissa jokes.

«Idiot.» The responds «the fact is that The don'ts want to live of regrets, this is the truth. I don't want to come to tell me that I would have been able at least to try us. Here I am trying there.»

«Well says, friend. And does the search begin from where, tomorrow?» Melissa asks me in the dark.

### «I don't have the palest idea of it. But somehow we will do» I guarantee «for the time being the main point it is to survive to this nottataccia.»

###

###

###

###

### 18

«. and the hills macaws seen, it looks!»

«Wow!»

I am the voices of Melissa and Anita. I feel her, distant, while I am waking up myself from my depth sleep.

I open the eyes. Who am? Where am I/you/they?

For an instant I have seriously difficulty to remember where I am me. I look around me, the room is completely illuminated by the sun, the light blinds me and the girls have leaned out to the window and you/they are commenting the panorama that extends him in front of their eyes.

«Good morning» I say with the mixed mouth lifting me from the bed.

«Carina, finally wakes up! You absolutely have to come to the window!» Melissa invites me.

I drag along me up to the window as a zombie, while I am being busy to realize that we still find us in the bleak motel where we are ended to sleep the evening before.

«Oh» I exclaim of amazement when I am near to the window.

The girls make me space to look better. In front of us it extends him an immensity mozzafiato. Under there is a marvelous valley punctuated of red poppies and in the background they raise him of the splendid green hills. Everything this absorbed in the extraordinary frame of a day of sun, that a stupendous feeling of joy arouses in the heart and makes to come desire to go down down and to roll in the grass.

«You look, the pecorelles!» Anita exclaims as a child, pointing out us the point in which a shepherd, that appears minuscule from here you/he/she is bringing his/her flock to the pasture.

I/you/they are sincerely struck from this scenery. There were not aware last night of nothing. This window hid beautifully behind its violet awning and we has gone in bed without knowing about its existence.

While we are being busy to marvel us, we feel to knock to the door. We exchange there a first uncertain look.

«Who is?» cry me.

«Girls, the breakfast is ready» you/he/she is saying a hoarse voice. It is his, I recognize her/it, it is the voice of the old gentleman.

«S.sì, gives only us. five minutes to systematize us» The answers.

«There is no problem, fairies with calm.»

«They also have us the breakfast?» he/she asks stunned Anita.

«So it seems.»

We dress there in hurry and we put back the pajamas and the rest of the things in our suitcases, because after the breakfast we would like to abandon this place and to look for another of it whether to spend the last night. And, while I am picking up my things, a small leap comes me to the heart, because of Phillip and of the whole matter that has pushed here me until. It is the first time that happens me from when we have departed. I start to decidedly feel me strange. Strange in the sense of. strange! That is I/you/they have been dragged in a city that I don't know for meeting a boy that I don't know. as, in short. while my fiancé is to unaware Lecce of everything that that is happening. I feel me a coward.

For an instant the desire comes even me to abdicate and to force the girls to return in advance to house, but then this idea falls through in the thought that 1) they would kill me session stante and 2) by now we are here to Perugia and we have the ticket of return for tomorrow. To return in advance to house I believe both decidedly out discussion. Dopotutto, it concerns only one more day.

«And him same making a cazzata?» taming without notice.

Melissa lifts the eyes from his/her suitcase and looks me.

«You are not making a cazzata. You have only to talk to that damned boy. To speak. You don't owe us to sweep!»

It seems become impatient, but in reality it is him/it with his/her suitcase that refuses to close him.

«But because devil is not closed more?»

I draw near me to help her/it and, while I press with strength, she sits him on.

«Here is fact.»

The suitcase is closed.

«You have understood then?» it turns again him to me «you don't have motive to feel you in guilt, you are trying only to understand if. if there Khan be something. How could you ever be serene with Dario without having gone to fund to this history? It is impossible. You would always be with this little ball in head.»

You almost thrusts a finger in the skull when it says" little ball in head."

«I would have preferred that this history didn't come out never.»

I let me fall on the bed, exhausted to the thought.

«But you/he/she has come out, and not for your guilt» it beats her.

«But don't you understand that you have written the history of that boy?» does he insert Anita, with his/her usual romanticona air «doesn't often happen, do you know? Should be happy, rather! Be a clear I mark some destiny! There is people that stay years to wonder himself/herself/themselves what both his/her destiny. To you you/he/she is manifested with so evident. clarity!»

Look me with amazed expression.

«I would like to be me to your place» it finally adds.

«It is all right, is it all right, are you right as usual you» I answer some resentful «but would not we be able by chance, don't I know, to go around as tourists, without. to look for Phillip?» I almost ask whispering.

Icy look from the girls. Upcoming threat.

«I kill you.»

As not says. Melissa is striking by lightning me with the eyes.

«This whole ambaradan, trip up to Perugia, fraud online, three hundred European lost, done bleak motel with special prostitute that sweeps nearby for the whole night in the room, read hard, back asunder, and do you also dare say that you don't want to meet Phillip anymore? It looks that we have done all this for you, if you have not understood him/it!»

It is furious. And it is also good to make to feel me in guilt.

«You are right. You forget all.»

I close the zipper to my suitcase, the jail cell that I had supported on the comodino take.

«I am ready for my search. Does you go?»

Their faces relax him in a smile.

«We go!»

We go out of the room leaving the suitcases to the feet of the door. We will come to take back her once ended the breakfast and paid possession the account.

In the narrow corridor we feel there surer in comparison to the evening before. The light of the sun makes us bold. It is as if in the daytime you/he/she could not happen us nothing ugly. If nothing else, let's have the possibility to look better us at the shoulders!

We give nearby a glance to the room. The door is open and there is a very Carina woman of the cleanings in its white uniform, the brisk little eyes and the lips put make up on of rose. We politely greet her. The fiery guests of they have gone away last night therefore already. To the sudden one it seems even me as if we were imagined everything there. There has not probably been any prostitute and the noises they have derived only from our imagination.

The staircases and these scricchiolanos we go down again, but the thing doesn't leastly frighten us. Possible that last night such a Carina noise aroused us terror?

We reach the terrestrial pian, in the hall where last night we have bargained over with the custodian, and we see us a beautiful po' of people. The voices spread for the whole room as pleasant murmurs. There are people in attended to the entry, two little boys sat on a red divanetto that I last night had not noticed, and the custodian is bargaining over smiling with a couple of elderly gentlemen. The room is completely illuminated by the sun, a light musichetta in foundation attracts my attention and the buonissimo aroma of coffee it reaches straight our nostrils. An almost festive atmosphere, would say!

When the custodian sees us arrive, you/he/she immediately turns us the word.

«The breakfast has served in the cafeteria.»

It points out a saletta to our shoulders, hidden behind a heavy awning bordeaux.

«Oh, we had not noticed her» I exclaim.

To say the truth, seems this morning that we have not noticed a lot of things, not only the cafeteria behind the awning. It so extraordinarily seems me all different since yesterday evening. Possible that the mind can deceive in this way? That whole suggestion of the dark, of the unknown city, three alone girls, the thought of Psycho. all of this had made this place to good ambientazione film for horror!

We remove the heavy awning and we enter the small cafeteria. Small but pleasant. It receives us a young fellow dressed in jeans and white shirt with the writing" Cris Motel."

«Good morning girls, hope you have spent a pleasant night» it says smiling at us.

The girls and I exchange there a fleeting glance.

«Yes, enough, thanks!» I exclaim.

«Excellent. Arrange you where preferred. Pleasant of the tea, milk, coffee?»

But kind quant'è this boy?!

«For me a cappuccino» I say me.

«I would like some milk and coffee with some slices biscottate, if possible» it orders Anita.

«For me only coffee, thanks» it finally says Melissa.

We arrange us to a tavolino and we look around at there stranite. This cafeteria seems to have conquered us. The boundaries are completely in raw stone and everything there are around objects in worked beaten iron. Round Tavolini with tovagliette to red and white pictures. Vases with colored flowers on the shelves, that confer great joy to the room.

While we are being lost in our thoughts, from the awning of entry it emerges the face of the custodian.

«Good morning» it says, and it reaches us «I/you/they have come for greeting you, since to moments I should have the change.»

This I didn't wait me for him. You/he/she is greeting us, and not only. It smiles. Yes, that man that last night it seemed us a dangerous murderer you/he/she is smiling at us. Its eyes, that I can finally see to the light of the sun, are almost of a chestnut green, intense and very, very kind.

«Oh thanks, Mr..» The say, leaving the dormant sentence.

«. Cosimo» continuous him «The hopes you have spent to pleasant night.»

«Ehm, sure, Mr. Cosimo!» I say too much with acute voice to seem sincere.

«You has been awake the whole night?» I feel to ask from Anita.

«I was of turn. I wake up the whole night. I hope that to you has been all right.» us needle an occhiolino of agreement.

«Eh» I grab to the flight the occasion «not too better, to be sincere.»

«Yes, there has been some small. interference» it adds Anita snickering.

«I am sorry it, you/they have expressly wanted that room.» he/she explains Cosimo that owes to have understood to the flight to thing we report there.

«You don't worry him, you show up him, we were joking only.» The add me in embarrassment.

«I pray you, give me of the you» it smiles at us.

But because to the sudden one reality of last night has totally turned upside-down? This that is of forehead is not at all the elderly gentleman that yesterday it sank the head in his/her Bible and it addressed us deprived looks of expressiveness. This Cosimo has something different, a twinkling in the eyes, a bewitching smile, a new sweetness in the voice.

«Because you don't sit you with us to drink a cup of coffee?» I invite him/it me to the sudden one.

I decidedly find him/it Carina and kind. And then you/he/she could give us some useful information to direct us in the city.

«Really I should return from the clients.» while it is telling him/it, to female voice to its shoulders interrupts him/it. You/he/she is emerged by the awning the face of an elderly very beautiful and well taken care of lady.

«Eccoti, Cosimo. I have arrived, I take your place. You are free!» it exclaims.

«Thanks Tilde!» he exclaims «to this point then I would say that. yes, The Khans drink to cup of coffee with you.»

Us ago the occhiolino and it shares our table.

Cosimo a delicious oldie reveals him. It is simpaticissimo, you/he/she is telling us a lot of anecdotes of his/her life, it is even of origins pugliesi as us, it comes from Taranto, but you/he/she is married many years ago a perugina. A woman that very young widower has made him/it and of which speaks us with the shiny eyes.

«You have never thought of risposarti?» I ask him me, that am completely bewitched and lost in his/her stories, so much that the cappuccino that you/they have served me him is cooling.

«Who want that I/you/he/she am us with an old man as me?» he/she asks in turn.

«But if you are a fascinating man!» it says Melissa.

«The six eccome, Cosimo!» I confirm me.

«And tell me, tell me.» Anita does ahead him with the bust toward of him «that Tilde is not at all malaccio.»

«The Tilde? But it has a lot of admirers the Tilde!» it exclaims, twisting himself/herself/itself the fingers with to do some nervous.

«Have understood the lady! And you as you know him/it?» incuriosita taming him.

«I observe her» it says, assuming a solemn expression.

«And because you observe her/it?» I inquire me me.

«I like to observe her/it. When the jail cell rings her, she looks around him, first on one side» it turns to the left the head «then from the other» it turns to the right the head «and finally, when it is sure that not the coop looking at anybody, he/she takes the jail cell, it puts on the sight glasses and it smiles reading the message. And at that time it has on the face a curious expression, almost estasiata. That is without doubt an admirer!»

«You like you!» Anita exclaims.

«Beautiful woman» it grants «very cultured. It is a lot, a lot of religious.»

«Well» I say me «then the one are done for the other, also you are a lot of religious!»

«Who, me?» question him joky «I don't go to put by the funeral of my wife.»

«But.» The leaves the sentence dormant «we have seen you I know busy to read your Bible last night!»

«The Bible?» question «you intend this Bible?»

It extracts from the pocket of the jacket the Bible that held in hand last night. Open her in front of our eyes and. this hand is to genius! That is only the custody of the Bible, inside there is a book of jokes!

«But because you hold the book in the custody of the Bible?»

We are all had a good time ones.

«But have not you understood, stupid?» Melissa tells me his/her place «so the Tilde thinks that he is a religious type!»

Let's look him/it at all esterrefattes, while he fakes to polish him the fingernails with the fingers.

«Strategies of conquest, my girls» it declares had a good time «and then I like to observe. I am a great observer. To fake to lose me in my sacred reading allows me to observe the people.»

«Therefore when he/she sees you with that in hand» Bible I point out his/her Pretense «he/she wants to say that you are in phase of observation?»

«Exact child!»

Cosimo is a revelation. I love this man!

«Therefore you have observed last night also us, considering that you have been for the whole time glued to your Bible» I inquire me party.

«I have observed all of you. Were you some false ones last night, eh?»

We give back together everybody.

«The situation perhaps has you some frightened ones? The alone oldie behind the counter, the dark, the lost motel, some suggestion, dear my, true?»

«Yes» I admit me.

«Sometimes ago well to try fear. It makes us more officers, more careful. Don't The cinches do for us, correct?» it says triumphant.

«Correct!» we exclaim in unison three.

Cosimo has decidedly conquered us. The time is passing in incredibly fast way in his/her company. You reveals together so many things all: a precious friend, a kind of grandfather that I have never had, a marvelous source of truth and wisdom, a solar, easy and amusing person. And only few minutes to greet remember me to ask him something around the city.

«Cosimo, not knowing anything of the city, we would have really need to have some right-hand.»

«Thing you have come to do? Where are you direct?» he/she asks us him, recomposing himself/herself/itself on the chair, as it was ready to welcome every application of ours.

«Eh, beautiful question. Let's not know him/it of precise» I explain, noticing his/her lost expression «we are here for meeting a boy, it is a long history. But the trouble is that we don't know whether to do to find him/it.»

Cosimo observes me.

«It would be useful, to tell me as first of all, calls. Even I know him/it.»

«It calls Phillip, but I don't remember the last name.»

I know him/it, now that say him/it I become me account that we have been of the crazy ones to come until here so, to the blind one, without precise information that allow us to locate him/it.

«And do you know this only? What does it call Phillip? It tries to remember: any type of information can be useful.»

Cosimo seems a little boy, he/she doesn't take around us, rather it is to the game as, it was one of us.

«In reality she knows as it would owe» I feel to say from Anita «an uproarious thing has happened!»

Cosimo looks her/it at incuriosito. Because we feel to be able to trust this man? I don't see the time that knows about my absurd history with Phillip, because I am too much curious to know his/her opinion.

«The girl is a young writer» she explains Anita «you/he/she has published his/her first novel, but the most fantastic thing of everybody is that the history that has told in this novel. of pure his invention. has really happened to the Phillip in matter!»

To feel these words from the mouth of another person, after having thought us so much for the whole night, it makes me come a hole in the stomach. I am observing the pleased expression of Cosimo, while I am dying from the desire to know what he/she thinks of it.

«Therefore he has looked for you, I imagine» it says.

«Exact. You/he/she has come to alone Lecce to see me and to tell me everything» I explain.

He/she nods.

«You/he/she will have been a beautiful blow for him.»

«Also for me!» I exclaim.

«Yes, I imagine of yes» it says «but for the man it is different. The man can be satisfied indeed with a woman, in good sense, to love her/it, to respect her/it deeply, even if to her you/he/she is not tied up some particular destiny. And this because the man, doesn't fundamentally believe in the destiny, he doesn't believe in these great things, he doesn't even think of us. But when so strong things happen, does the man lose the head, do you understand? It is able to marvel more himself/herself/themselves, not being accustoms us.»

I nod and rest in silence for some instant. Then Cosimo invites me to reflect on the things that I remember Phillip, so that to make to come me to the mind some detail that can be useful for our insane search. I make me pass for the head more possible information. I squeeze me the meninxes. What is it that know about Phillip? I know how you/he/she is physically done, this is already a great thing. But it is not enough. I know that it is graduated in law. But as we could use us this information? Will there be so many graduates in law in the city of Perugia, no? Would The entourage tighten him if we considered the boys of trentatré years, named Phillip, graduates in law, but from where to begin?

«I remember only me useless things.» The finally say discouraged.

«Any small detail can be useful. Done strive to remember» he/she invites me him still «when you are seen down you to Lecce, you/he/she has told you something of detail, something of his/her life that somehow can have to do with Perugia?»

«Mmm, doesn't know him/it, it is difficult, there are said a lot of things.»

I am without any risult me scervellando.

«Where he/she works? The tobacconist where he/she buys the cigarettes? Some local that is usual to frequent?»

I stay immovable, suddenly illuminated by the words of Cosimo.

«A moment! You/he/she had told me something around a place that frequents. to café.»

The girls are exulting and Cosimo looks me waiting for a more precise information.

«A cafe, yes, decidedly a cafe! It said that its usual cafe resembles a lot to the Vanilla of Lecce!» I exclaim satisfied of my memory.

«The name has told you?» he/she asks me him.

«Yes, you/he/she has told me him. oh God. The don'ts remember him/it!»

I revert in the panic.

«It tries to remember him/it.» Melissa stimulates me.

«I don't know him/it. The don'ts have conceives of it. it began with the N. or perhaps with the M. Sì, with the M, it was something type.» The eat me the fingernails digging in the memory «. The don'ts remember!» I conclude exhausted.

«Ok, calm» Cosimo begins, calm and peaceful «we will look for the names of all the cafes of the city that begin with the M, and if we don't find him/it, we will look for the names of all the cafes of the city!»

It widens the braccias triumphant.

«Great!» I exclaim and I beat five with his/her enormous wrinkled hand.

It gets up, it allows us sun to the table and after few instants it returns from us with the Yellow Pages. In this moment I observe better it. It has a light hump that makes him/it some curved, the sight glasses that it hardly holds always supported on the nose and a small scar on the chin, memory of some old wound. And I don't know indeed as it is that last night it aroused us fear; today its eyes express only me a great, endless sweetness, to moments also so much loneliness. There is something of very strong that ties me to this person, type an internal sinergia, that is born since the bowel.

We flow the list of all the cafes of the city, we give a look to those that begin with the M but also to those that begin with other letters, from the moment that I am not certain of nothing. Then arrival to a name and block the eyes, suffered an illumination: Millennium. I am certain, certain, to have felt this name pronounce from the mouth of Phillip!

«It is this. I remember him/it, it is him, the Millennium!» I exclaim, not persuading me of it. I didn't believe would have been so easy and is only everything I deserve of Cosimo!

«Thanks!» cry euphoric.

I throw me to the neck and I embrace him/it. An impulsive gesture, thought not. I withdraw me of hit, worried that can be bothered him, instead Cosimo smiles with benevolence and gives me a pacca on the shoulder.

«Well girls, my mission is ended, then. I wish you to find Phillip to the Millennium and to be able to discover the truth. A sign of this course can be the lighthouse that drives toward the I bring correct, but attention to the glare that conduct out rout.» it says aiming its dessert look on me and to these words The feels to thud to the heart «to your account he/she thinks of us Tilde, my turn you/he/she is now ended. You/he/she has been beautiful to know you.»

«Tonight you will be again of turn, your Bible and you?» taming him smiling instead of greeting him/it.

«I will be the nighttime custodian for the whole week, and yes. my Bible» burdens tap is given on the pocket of the jacket «you/he/she cannot miss!»

I look at the girls, they looks at me, in an instant we seem to be reads us all in the thoughts.

### «We will pay the account to you tomorrow, then, because the last night we want to pass here absolutely her.»

###

###

###

###

### 19

The Carina red minimetrò allows us in the center of Perugia. The sun is warm and is a splendid day. We have asked information to of the passer-bys and so now we are on the road that seems has to conduct us to the cafe Millennium. Clearly it is not said that Phillip there is and that we will succeed in finding him/it really to the cafe, but from some part it also needs to start.

I look by instinct at the display of the jail cell. Because Dario a message has not even written me? I need him. I have need to know that there is, that doesn't hate me. I need to free me from these senses of guilt.

What fool I am. The alone thought to want vigliaccamente to free me some senses of guilt makes me feel in guilt!

I look at the girls of sottecchi but I don't dare proferir word on my state of mind. I already know what you/they think and that they would tell me. They is all happy and happy-go-lucky ones. It is obvious, they are not the protagonists of this history, you/they cannot understand as I feel me.

This morning Anita is to the limits of the euphoria. You/he/she is waiting for the phone call of Luca that has promised to come to find her/it from Rome. You/he/she has put on a pair of narrow jeans that allow to see his/her perfect curves. You/he/she has tied the hair in a tall pigtail and it has some gilded rims to the ears. You/he/she has worn a blouse color purple and tied a floral foulard around the neck. The known one often to take the jail cell and to unconsciously look at the display.

«To look at the jail cell every two seconds won't do him/it magically appear» Melissa mocks her/it.

Melissa, has opted today instead for a more comfortable attire. You/he/she has left the loose hair, you/he/she has preferred to wear a cotton magliettina, a simple pair of jeans and the Hogans. You/he/she has put a thread of makeup and you/he/she has not even wanted to go himself/herself/themselves a purse. You/he/she has asked to me to hold her the jail cell, the butter of cocoa and the handkerchiefs. It says that when it is found in a foreign city, it needs to feel himself/herself/themselves free from every point of view.

I, have put today instead all in draught. I have a floral vestitino, a delicious pair of shoes with the heel bought before departing, loose hair, polished and softened from the liquid crystals and of the custom jewelry of good very shining quality. I am also me particularly applied on the make-up. On the eyelids celestial tones of different gradations, a chic lipstick on the lips and the eyelashes lengthened at the most by my new mascara.

We are proceeding to small footsteps and each of it seems them me to have to breathe more deeply. And if him pits already inside? It is not said that there is. Today is Saturday and as far as I know, could be at work, or from any part, even out of town, in trip, to the foreign countries or in the space! But I am definite to inform me from the barkeepers on his/her account, in the case he there was not. But if there pits? If it were to the cafe? Done sit to the counter, even, or to a tavolino, and did he/she see me arrive? What would he/she think? I would die from the embarrassment.

«There are!» I feel to exclaim from Anita and I feel me as I/you had received a strong hit to the heart.

I lift the eyes that I held stuck to earth and I see him/it: cafe Millennium. I attentively observe the place with the heart that beats to thousand. Indeed remember me so much the" Vanilla Bar" where we have taken our appetizer to Lecce. Even the color of the writing in the insignia is identical. I don't have doubts that we are in the correct place.

Ok, is about to faint. What devil do I do us here?

«Ready?» Melissa asks me.

«Not exactly.» The stammers.

We stay for a couple of minutes impaled in the middle of the road to observe the insignia of the cafe. We are surrounded by so many people, but I don't see and I don't feel anybody. I have the brain occupied by the thoughts.

Ok. The moment has come. Do I have to speak to him only, to tell him. The don'ts know him/it, oddio, is thing that The have to tell him? What is it that have come to do? They are in the panic, but the girls have grabbed me every for an arm and you/they are now dragging me inside, without even not giving me the time to rationalize everything.

«If I/you/he/she still think of us some, changes idea» he/she affirms Melissa.

«And we cannot allow him/it» it adds Anita.

You/they are pushing so strongly me that all of a sudden I have risked to fall. What a shame.

«Ok girls, release me, within alone: you/they are looking us at all!» I whisper to the peak of the embarrassment.

The girls release the taking. I keep on slowly walking, to tall head, up to that we are not inside.

In to be in the cafe, I am attacked by the most total nervousness. But because the thing creates me so much uneasiness? Because Phillip me ago this effect? I am trembling even.

We direct there to the counter, I don't dare to look around me. For me you/he/she could be from any part. Rather, with every probability is sat to a tavolino and you/he/she is looking me. And he will be saying": But me that I know her/it." And then, done remember my face, will it be said": Thing has come to do here? Were not there said goodbye"?.

Each outline that I succeed in seeing with the tail of the eyes seems me can belong to him, but I don't dare to turn to verify me.

«Good morning, thing I serve you?» he/she asks us the young barkeeper in his/her black uniform.

«We take a tavolino, ok?» Melissa intervenes immediately.

They drag me toward the first free tavolino. I am making the figure of the idiot. I am letting me haul from them and we finally soothe there. I grab by instinct the news-bulletin that is supported on the tavolino and I starts me reading the first news without understanding an only word.

«Carina, do you want to give you one calmed?» it says Melissa.

«I am trying there» I grunt, without lifting the head from the table. I notice the girls that look around him.

«You want to lift the eyes from that newspaper and to discover if Phillip is or it is not in this damned cafe?» he/she almost asks me furious.

«There could be: it is full of young boys» it says Anita «it is one of them very beautiful. Could be him! Look at him/it, Carina, that with the white shirt close to the distributor, look at him/it!»

«Assured you before nobody is looking me» I ask.

«Ok, nobody is looking you» he/she affirms become impatient Anita.

«And now?» I repeat after two seconds.

«I have said of no, my goodness!»

Ok. I am an idiot. I do me courage and I finally lift the eyes. I pass in review every present face in this place. I fix the look on the boy with the white shirt, then on all of his/her friends, then on the boys supported to the counter of back.

«There is not» I tell the end.

None of these boys is Phillip. The thing sincerely makes me to feel lifted. Of hit I have lightened, I feel me as I/you had lost ten kilos in a solo according to. But I remain however he/she anchors on the defensive, because I force me to think that, if there is not in this moment, it would always be able also to arrive in another.

«What heck» ago Melissa «I knew him/it that we would have taken this risk.»

We knew him/it all, in reality, that would have been a possibility on thousand to find this morning here it.

We order of the coffees and of the cornets and we stay in the cafe to chat for some. The girls are definite not to stir from here. They already have adocchiato of the stairs to the feet of a fountain it posts really in front of the place and they say that, once gone out from we should be there here sessions to catch the sun, with the fixed eyes on the cafe, so that not to let us escape the people that enter it. Phillip is the motive that has pushed here since us, it says Melissa and nothing and nobody will dissuade us from our objective. Its optimism also infects me. It says to be certain that we won't go away from Perugia without having met him/it.

Before going out of the cafe, we recall the attention of a waiter. He draws near available.

«In thing I can help you?» he/she asks us.

«N.noi we wanted to ask you a thing some particular» I stammer. I cannot believe us to be doing him/it.

«Tell me pure» it incites me.

«Here we are looking for a person. A boy. Of him we know only that it comes here often.»

The boy casts me an amazed glance and lifts the shoulders.

«And as I could help you, if you know only this? Million of boys come here.»

Of certain you/he/she is taking me for an idiot.

«It calls Phillip» he inserts Melissa «it has trentatré years, Phillip» it repeats.

The waiter seems to think of us an instant.

«Personally I don't know any Phillip that comes here. Do I try to ask to the holder, ok?» it kindly grants us.

We stay to wait for him/it, me with the heart that beats to thousand. I jump every time that a person enters the cafe. The waiter returns after few minutes.

«We don't know indeed as to help you. A lot of boys habitually come here, if we also knew him/it, we would be able not to know his/her name, we know only perhaps it of sight.»

It shakes the head and it lifts continuously the shoulders.

«Sure, sure it is so» I arrange me «rather, excuse if we have made you waste time with this idiocy» I finally say, deeply to uneasiness.

Let's greet him/it and in few instants we are out, sat on a stair to the feet of the fountain. Seem me all strange, almost unreal. Seem me unreal the city, the plaza in which we find us, it seems me unreal the people that pass, his/her children that play with the squirts of water. Seem me unreal the insignia of the cafe that I am fixing hypnotized, very similar to that of the Vanilla. As I have been able to believe that coming here, to the blind one, would I have succeeded in finding Phillip? In a great city that I don't know, in an only day. We have to be three crazy if we have been able to believe us. In none of our brains the goddess that we were perhaps making a cazzata has jumped?

I feel me so discouraged. The optimism of Melissa even helps now me. I am sure that we will go from Perugia without having succeeded in finding him/it. I will return to Lecce doubly frustrated of it: to have done everything behind Dario and not to have resolved the matter however. What an idiocy!

A cry of Anita interrupts my thoughts. You/he/she has gotten up lifting his/her jail cell as a trophy and you/he/she has started jumping.

«Luca is here, Luca is here!»

«Where?» taming me grown foolish, turning to the right the head and to the left.

«How where? Here to Perugia, no?» an interrogative glance launches me «you/he/she has just arrived, it is about to take the minimetrò and it reaches us!»

Excellent. At least something line I smooth to my friend, since the same thing of me cannot be said.

We always wait around fifteen minutes sessions on the same step and with the eyes aimed on the entry of the cafe and on every single boy that arrives. When best man to the horizon some young particularly attractive, the girls cast me a glance to verify if that were Phillip or no. But it is never him. This practice, conducted in the most total silence, you/he/she is interrupted only by the arrival of Luca. Beautiful as the sun, with his/her narrow shirt that allows to glimpse his/her mighty muscles, the uncultivated short beard on the cheeks, his/her perfect cheekbones. And it is not alone. It arrives together with two friends, as many beautiful and muscular, adherent jeans and torn, shoe last model and expensive clock to the wrist.

You throws to embrace first Anita, then he/she greets me and Melissa with a warm handshake. Then he/she introduces us his/her friends. They call Valerio and Martin. I try to decipher the expression of Anita, but I don't succeed in fully reading her/it. It has to be a mixture among the cheerfulness to see his/her beautiful Luca and the embarrassment to discover again that you/he/she is brought I approach the friends. We have spoken so much of it yesterday and she was decidedly convinced that theirs would have been a romantic meeting, of love, apart all the other things litterbug that, in fact, you/they cannot do in presence of his/her friends.

«I believed you would have come alone» it says smiling Anita not to seem abrupt and ill-mannered.

«Oh, my friends wanted to see Perugia and then I have proposed together a beautiful trip everybody!» it exclaims to big voice. The boys laugh as two idiots.

«Excellent.»

The voice of Anita is decidedly strident.

«We want to take something to drink to the cafe?» he/she asks us Luca, pointing out the Millennium.

«Ehm, that is.» The stammers, terrorized to the conceives to have to put again there foot inside.

«In reality we have just been there» he/she affirms Anita removing from me the words of mouth.

«Change sets, then! I want that take together something! An appetizer, an ice cream.» it proposes again him.

Anita looks me with interrogative expression, then Melissa that makes spallucce looks.

«Ok, goes» I intervene to get away from the embarrassment. I look at the girls and I make them a grimace of approval.

«Not worried you, it is useless to be here to wait» I say then.

«You are sure?» does Anita ask me whispering for not making himself/herself/themselves to feel from the boys, that I/you/they however are busy to admire to opened mouth his/her children that play with the spray of water around the fountain «it would not be better to wait here? And if it had to come Phillip while we are being away?»

«I have thought there so much» I explain «it is really useless. We could make so many things in the meantime. And then you know that I tell you? If it is indeed destiny as you say, sooner or later I find again him/it, also without waiting here for it.»

I don't believe seriously in what I have just said. It is obvious that lifting me from this place I will lose every possibility to find again Phillip. In reality I am gathering to the leap the occasion to lift the culo from this fountain and to run away from a situation in which I/you/they are thrusted me without really wanting him/it hurriedly. I have not known how to say of no, to the trip, to everything how much, and then I/you/they are let me influence from my friends, this it is the truth. But do I believe in this whole history of the destiny seriously? Some. But some is not enough, decidedly it is not enough. Some doesn't certainly justify the madness that I have done to come until here to look for Phillip.

This way we have taken an adjacent to stradina the plaza, a last time I have turned to look at the insignia of the Millennium before it disappeared from our sight, a fleeting glance to the last group of boys assembled on the entry and now is sat to the tavolino of a lounge elegant cafe and carpeted of photos of old films in black and white. I am observing the photo of a scene of" You sweet life", when Martin gives me a pacca on the shoulder.

«Yes?» I tell him jumping.

Its eyes observe me wide open.

«I am bewaring you of mezz'ora» it tells me and him sganascia of laughters.

The fixed one for a mouth moment opened. What does it find us of so amusing?

«Not me aware n'ero, excuse me.»

«Not to worry you» it says, storming in a second laughter, even more strong of the before.

Ok. This is a deficient suit. I look for lost the look of the girls, but those are busy in a deep conversation with the their interlocutory bellocci. Now I become that is only me account, that practically three couples are formed. Luca and Anita, obviously. Melissa is making the languid eyes to Valerio and, finally, almost as if the thing was discounted and automatic, I find me with this Martin among the feet.

I fake to ignore him/it and I try to undertake a conversation that involves all but the answers that arrive to me I am alone of the monosyllables, pronounced with vague air and without any interest.

Ok, are sold. Martin is keeping on fixing me, you/he/she doesn't tear off me the eyes of back.

«You have to tell me something?» taming him almost bored.

«No. Rather yes. You have some very beautiful eyes» it tells the attempt to conquer me.

Not do laugh, beg you not to laugh.

«Ah ah ah.»

As not says.

Does it necessarily have to laugh to every thing that says?

We order something to drink and, when the glasses arrive, finally the couples loosen him and we return to socialize together everybody. Luca makes an observation on a photo that withdraws Sophia Loren sat on a wood gangway dipped in the lake.

«A beautiful woman. Do you know him/it that this year has become grandmother for the second time?» it says.

«Ammappete» Valerio exclaims.

«But it was not dead?» Martin is falling from the clouds.

«But what do you say?» the friend mocks him/it «you/he/she is' silent that do more beautiful figure!»

Oh poor guy. I look furtively at it to observe his/her reaction, but he doesn't owe us to have understood nothing, since you/he/she has again started laughing as a hyena.

«Excuse you him girls, Martin it is some so, it is a particular type» he/she explains Luca.

Known a light blush on the face of Martin, as he was embarrassing but he/she didn't exactly know as to go out of the situation.

«You excuse, I was convinced of it.» it is justified between to laughter and another.

«There is no problem» I tell him me.

«You are also therefore of the soccer players you as Luca!» Anita exclaims for changing discourse.

«Exact» he/she affirms Valerio «players in serious B, and our Martin is one of the best!»

It gives a strong pacca on his shoulder, so much to make to fold up him/it in before.

«At least in the kick it is not had to worry about to open mouth!» Luca jokes.

All laugh, understood the poor Martin, but I start to feel me seriously in embarrassment for him.

«Ehm, that you say of it if. we went out to take to walk to the sun?» I propose of hit.

The girls immediately accept, I believe that also they has noticed how much Luca and Valerio they takes game of the poor Martin. The boys accept after some instant.

«Waiter, could have the account?» I ask in the name of me everybody. The waiter nods and directs him over-the-counter.

We wait for some instant, then Luca grabs the jail cell.

«You excuse, I have an upcoming call» it says lifting himself/herself/itself from the chair.

«Who is, the trainer?» ago Valerio. To nod of Luca, Valerio excuses him and gets up for following his/her friend out of the place.

«Our trainer is very demanding» you/he/she is explaining Martin «from Monday we begin the trainings, he doesn't want that we eat schifezze, you/he/she says that they damage our physical resistance. I go to feel what he/she wants!»

Well. We have been alone to the tavolino. The girls and I are exchanging there the glances from the incomprehensible nature.

«It doesn't seem you strange that the call has arrived really during the account?» I ask me in the embarrassment.

«You/he/she can give him» confirmation Melissa.

«But no, that say? You/he/she will have been a coincidence» Anita responds, instead that he clearly maintains from the part of the boys.

After some instant, the waiter returns with the slip.

«They are fourteen European and fifty» it begins.

'Azz. We keep for an instant on looking you petrify us. That three scoundrels if have slipped away her/it! Have insisted to take something to drink together and during the payment if have slipped away her/it! I am furious. We throw out our wallets and racimoliamo the unpaid sum, then we lift there and we direct there to the outside.

«Ok, ok, to Monday» I feel to say from Luca when you/he/she has seen us materialize us to their side. He/she closes the presumed phone call and it turns him to us.

«Already out, girls?» he/she asks with one note of uneasiness in the voice.

«We had decided to go away from the place, no?» I say me.

«Exactly. Allow to pay me at least the account» it says, remaining there impaled.

«It is not need of it: you/he/she has offered the house!» annoyed Melissa clearly responds.

«But have you paid him/it you?» he/she asks again.

«And who otherwise?» I do me.

«But didn't owe, girls! Thanks!»

I now beat up him/it. I swear that if it still pretends that I/you/he/she do mortified I beat up here it in front of everybody.

Now we are walking in the sun that is by now tall in the sky. On our walk we have found a beautiful green park, full of trees, wood benches and games for children. We have decided to forward us in the inviting nature of the park and I am fully enjoying me this summer atmosphere and breathing to full bellows the clear air that winds us. Anita and Luca precede us of some footstep, they seem to have found again the intimacy that has tied them on the train, they almost speak whispering himself/herself/itself, with persuasive voice and looks mielosi. Close to me there is Martin, that has stuck me as a leech and it doesn't leastly mention to release me. On the other side there is Melissa that, despite you seem rather party to Valerio, doesn't allow never me alone. To his/her side, Valerio is passing in review each face that we cross on our walk, especially those of the young runners dressed in shorts and canotta with the breasts ballonzolanti. A typical Mr. Giovanni seems to be. Perhaps it is for this that Melissa is going slowly us. At times with his/her deficient wisecracks he/she knows how to be irritating indeed.

The sun is by now tall in the sky and me I begin to warn a certain appetite. I grab the jail cell to see if Dario is made to feel, but nothing. I put back him/it in the purse and then I turn me to everybody.

«I am hungry! That he does?»

«I was about to say the same thing!» Anita exclaims, freeing himself/herself/itself from the embrace of Luca.

In an instant, we agree all that needs to appease our hunger. The boys propose to have lunch together in a restaurant that you/they have seen coming from the station. We trust there them and, in the turn of twenty minutes, is already sat in the place.

It deals with a basement with the red walls and the appliques that emanate colored lights. The scarce illumination makes the atmosphere intimate. From a side I mind not being alone with my friends in this moment, from the other these three boys, beyond their extravagance, they are Carina and of good company. In attends him of the our first, we are hidden in an intimate conversation there, almost confidential. Valerio is telling of his/her last love story and we is all very interested ones to the discourse. He/she speaks of this girl as if the wound caused by one terrible betrayal of his him really were never restored to health.

In the discourse, it happens me to notice a boy sat to the table in front of ours, from the opposite part of the place. The curious thing is that it doesn't tear off me the eyes of back. It is fat, it has the blonde hair and the potato nose. And it has the whole air not to be indifferent to my presence.

«What you look?» he/she asks me to the sudden Martin.

«Oh nothing there is alone one that doesn't tear off me the eyes of back» I snicker.

Martin turns for discovering who both.

«Ok, calm Martin» it tells himself.

I look at him/it suspicious.

«It bothers you?» taming him.

«No, calm» it replies him lifting the hand.

While we are continuing to listen to the history of Valerio, known often Martin to turn he/she anchors him toward the boy of before, perhaps intenzionato to make sure himself/herself/themselves that has stopped addressing looks.

«Oh, Marti! But are you me to listen?» he/she asks to the sudden Valerio «I speak and you don't do whether to turn back you to the!»

«There is one who is troubling the girl» he responds, pointing out me.

«Who is?» he/she asks Valerio.

«The panzone to my shoulders» ago Martin.

All turn him to look at the" panzone", that indeed it has a big face it toasts, to say the truth to keep on also looking me after being made him account to have been open.

«But with that I/you/he/she do it toasts.» Martin leaves the sentence dormant, grinding the teeth.

«Be goes', from the, thing you want that I/you/he/she am?» I say me.

«But as? Doesn't he/she see that you are with me?»

I look at him/it amazed.

«I am not with you, Martin!»

«But he doesn't know him/it! As far as he/she knows him, you are sat to my side, you make couple with me, yet continuous to look you!»

You/he/she is not making a reason and the fact that he is not sganasciando of laughters, as it is usual to do, it makes me understand that coop too seriously taking the thing some.

«Ignore him/it, ok?» I beg him/it.

He doesn't respond, but continuous to turn continuously himself/herself/themselves. I feel air of quarrels.

The our first arrives and we finally starts to eat.

«You/he/she is looking here still?» he/she asks Martin while it is taking an enormous raviolo.

«Yes» Valerio responds with tone of masculine solidarity «practically it always has the eyes on her.»

«Ok, now enough!»

Martin slips back of hit on the chair, doing a big noise, and he directs direct to the table of the" panzone."

I remain with a bit not swallowed among the faucis but I succeed in letting a cry escape me.

«Oddio, that wants to do?» I ask to full mouth not receiving answered by anybody.

All have stopped eating, both us is the other ones sat nearby to the tables and we look at the scene with horror.

When Martin draws near to his/her table, the panzone gets up with haughtiness. My goodness, but is a closet! From sat it didn't seem so enormous. Martin seems a little lamb to his/her presence. I, that feel me the cause of everything, get up by instinct me from my place and I go me verse of them, begging Martin to stop her/it.

The two looks him for an instant in the eyes, with depth hate.

«You have some problem?» the panzone asks him, him practically breathing in face. I notice the face of Martin to writhe himself/herself/themselves in a grimace of disgust.

«Ehm» he/she stammers, does it look at me for an instant then «you were looking at my r.ragazza?»

You/he/she is done small small. Oddio, poor Martin, owes to have understood that you/he/she cannot have her/it defeated.

«Because, would you have some problem by chance if me the same ones looking?» he/she asks the sure panzone of itself.

«No» Martin answers as by instinct suffered a traitorous slip, then you/he/she looks at me «that is yes.»

«Ah yes?» has the panzone breathed him in face again and this time the stench of onion has reached even me «you feel, the eyes for that they are done?»

«To look» Martin answers swallowing.

«And these for that they are done?» question again the panzone, making to see him the graven muscles.

«For.» Martin stammers, without continuing the sentence.

«Good, really for that: to take to fists the idiots as you» it continues the other one grinding the teeth.

But looks at this stupid! I would like to intervene in defense of Martin, but I fear that this would put more still it in embarrassment.

It is in a nanosecond I feel that it is about to happen. The fist of the panzone has geared her/it before. My mind he/she sees the scene to rallentatore. I succeed in foreseeing that the angelic face of Martin is about to be stricken from that fist. I push more ahead me some to stop him/it and, before can make I count, my face is exactly insinuated among the two litigants. pam!

I step backwards pushed by the power of the fist and I fall with the earth culo. Ouch! My goodness, that pain!

For some instant rest stunned and I don't understand anything, I see only the stars around the eyes and the place to turn. I hear a big noise around me, bawls that howl, women that cackle. Ouch, that pain!

«A thing of the kind has not happened in never my place! You are expelled, out!»

«I didn't want, you/he/she has put on in mean before I/you could realize me of it!»

«Are only a panzone! You the you are taken with a woman!»

I hear these voices around me but I don't understand of whom is and I don't understand who coop pronouncing the sentences.

«Treasure, everything well?» whisper me to the ear a family voice. I slowly open the eyes. Melissa.

«S.sì» I succeed in stammering. I hear pains for the whole face.

Melissa and Anita help me to lift me from the floor, I am practically surrounded of people that incuriosita looks me. Ok, calm, have taken only a cazzotto in full face!

«The nose hurts me.» The say whining «it is. it is to place? Do I want to say, is it still there?»

«Your nose?»

«Yes, is it still to the correct place?» I require uncertain.

«But certain treasure, from the, lifted, we go to bath for a beautiful refreshed» it proposes Melissa.

«Also her, also she is expelled by the place, goes out and is not anymore us!» I feel to howl while I am getting further me toward the toilet.

«But you/he/she has been him to begin to trouble my girl!»

«Out of my place!»

We arrive in the toilet and I beg the girls to release the taking, I make very well her to maintain me standing.

«My God, but is thing taken him to that there?» I allude to Martin, naturally. Then I look me in the mirror.

I have blood to the nose and the stunned face. I hold aloft the head to prevent the blood to go out, I repeatedly wash my face and I return to have more or less a normal aspect.

«But where devil have we found them these three?» I say hot tempered.

«You have to ask him/it to Anita!» Melissa responds, that seems to agree with me.

«They are the friends of my Luca, if you allow. and however The didn'ts know what you/he/she would have as with them two» he defends Anita.

«And then thing we want to do?» he/she asks Melissa with altered tone.

«What you intend to say?» he/she asks Anita.

«We have to remain together with them for the rest of our permanence?»

«Ok girls, quarrel not please» I intervene me me «we pretend that has not happened anything.»

«Correct» ago Anita «it is not that for this fact now we have to send the boys to fanculo!»

I cast her a glance of contempt, then I recompose me.

«Oddio!» I howl to the sudden one with the finger aimed against my reflex in the mirror.

«What there is?» I feel to ask from Melissa in apprehension.

«You look!» cry.

Ok, no panic. My superior lip he is inflating only. What do you want that am? It will pass. I now make me give some ice, I put him/it on the lip and that it will deflate him in a beating of eye, I challenge me. And then it is not the case to do a tragedy of it, it is not then so. swollen.

«But you/he/she is becoming enormous!» Anita that assists to the gruesome scene from behind my shoulders exclaims.

I launch her a nth occhiataccia through the mirror.

«Thanks, eh!»

Oddio, however it doesn't have all the blames. More they pass the seconds, more my superior lip grows to excess. Within decidedly in the panic.

We go out of the toilet it decided to make a phone call to the first aid or to ask consultations to the presents. I reenter in the room in the most complete embarrassment, with the hands I cover me the swollen lip.

The situation in the room is decidedly changed. The clients have returned to their places and you/they have started over eating, the holder is standing to the entry to mo' of buttafuori and our table, on which our full dishes have still remained, you/he/she is empty. The boys are not there. He/she hardly sees us, the holder comes us meeting.

«Everything well?» he/she asks to my address.

«Yes, it is alone that it is me. me he is inflating the lip.»

In to say I slightly remove him/it the hand to make to see him.

«Oh» he has a wince. Well.

«I wanted giustappunto to tell you that it seems to be us a physician in the room, I will make you see from him» it proposes.

«Excellent!»

In the following instants, I find me set apart in an angle of the place with a young physician. A self-styled physician, would come me to say, if only I understood something of medicine. And if it were only a trainee? Or a student of medicine that is already sold off for physician?

I look at him/it with suspect.

«What believes that the swelling will last, doctor?» taming him uncertain.

«Among a few times you/he/she will already be passed, calm coop. It will have only to put three times a day some ice at least, assuring himself/herself/itself to wind well it for in a handkerchief. Dopodiché will be to place» he/she answers sure of itself.

«Excellent.»

The dottorino gives me some taps on various zones of the neck.

«It hurts here her?» does he/she ask then «and here?»

«No» I respond every time.

«And here?» he/she asks touching me the arm.

«No.»

«And here?»

Touch me the sides.

«No» I respond with voice now more insecure. What devil.?

«And here?» it gives me taps on the femurs.

«But I have received a fist in face!» I finally tell him exhausted.

«But in to receive him/it, he could be twisted in various parts of the body» he/she explains him with extreme professionalism.

But does it say seriously?

«And if the I touch here, does thing feel?» he/she asks me giving me a tap on the calf.

I look at him/it to open mouth.

«Absolutely nothing.»

«Well» it says «now if it unthreads him the shoes we check that they are to place the ankles.»

«No, does doctor, forgive me, would I go of hurry, should I go to. to put me the ice on the lip, no?»

«Miss, do you allow me to do my job» it objects «a controllatina to the ankles won't make her evil, doesn't he/she think?»

But as he/she believes that with a fist in face is been able me to make evil to the ankles?

I do as it says. I get unthreaded me the sandals, I look around me in embarrassment, I look for the girls that are standing to the entry to talk to the holder and then I offer my naked feet to the doctor, that it immediately grabs them and with vigor.

«Well» it says, massaging one of it first and then the other «its ankles are well, better.»

It seems estasiato.

«Thanks, can I now go?» I ask impatient.

«Only an instant still» it says, and from the ankles it goes down down more and more, toward the foot. Massage him/it to me with abducted look and the thing doesn't like at all me! Have to be a maniac of the feet!

I immediately withdraw them from the chair on which I had supported them.

«I now owe really to go» I begin, interrupting his/her state of trance.

I get up me, but he has succeeded in maintaining the taking of my right foot and he/she refuses to release him/it.

«You leave my foot!» cry, trying to maintain me in equilibrium on the left foot.

«How much he/she puts on?» does he/she ask me «what number it has? What number does it have?» its voice is insistent and martellante.

«Now Ok is enough. If he/she doesn't leave my foot, I will be forced to utter a cry» I threaten him/it.

Him rubber band the taking, the hands it is rubbed against the sides, it is recomposed and it reassumes a serious and professional expression.

«Ok, therefore. You remembers Miss» it now tells taller voice to make to be heard by the people in the room «ice for three times a day, at least for three days.»

This whole history decidedly has some absurdity. I have taken a cazzotto in full face that was not addressed to me, the lip is inflated me to the point that I don't dare to make to look me in face and, in more, I/you/they have happened in the claws of a self-styled maniac physician of the feet. I draw near me to the girls disorientated and with stunned expression.

«We go away now, please» I propose exhausted.

The holder of the place a hand brings him to the mouth and coughs for recalling the attention.

«Ehms, would be sixty European» it announces.

Thing? I look at him/it senseless, then I look at my friends.

«Where the boys are?» taming, not as soon as I realize their absence.

«We don't know him/it» Anita stammers, that he feels call in cause in first person.

«Perfect! Who knows as it is that him volatilizzano every there is out whenever from tirar of the money!»

I am furious.

We settle the account and we go up again the staircases that conduct us to the exit of the basement. Of Luca, Valerio and Martin not even the shade.

«To me it doesn't seem the case to remain to wait for them» announcement with determination.

«To say the truth, even to me» it arranges Melissa.

«Only two minutes, please» it begs us Anita «I have sent a message to Luca, even he/she answers.»

«Anita.» Melissa is looking at her/it with maternal expression «you have sent needle that message mezz'ora.»

Anita lowers the eyes.

«I know him/it, but it is not said, even he/she answers.»

«Be', if you want to stay, fairies also. Do I have an urgency in this moment, or it am not noticed enough?» sbotto, showing my enormous lip. I make then a grimace of disgust when I see me reflected in the showcase of a shop.

«You are right, we go.» it arranges Anita to this point.

### We estrange there from the restaurant. Melissa insists to know what you/he/she has told me the doctor but me I don't feel at all like telling such an absurd history now. And I don't even want to feel the opinion of other physicians. I want only to return to the motel, to stretch me with some ice on the lips and even to crush a catnap.

###

###

###

###

### 20

We are returning back expeditious on the run done for reaching the ristornante. We find again the absorbed parchetto in the nature, the runners with the breasts ballonzolanti, the path that has conducted there since us and we finally find again there on the road that brings to the Millennium. I hardly recognize her/it, I feel a leap to the heart. With what has happened, it was me almost escaped of mind the motive for which we are here to Perugia and even the thought of Phillip flies away from my head.

«But is not there another road to do?» I ask to the sudden one.

«But because it excuses?» Anita asks me.

«You have forgotten of the Millennium, of Phillip, of the whole history?»

«Some that no» ago Melissa «rather, to this point it is better to stop by the Millennium, so we give us a last glance. Even find him/it!»

«Very, very Carina!»

How ago to say a similar stronzata? I seem a boxer that ko has been put on the ring. I could never make to see so that Phillip. I could never make to see so that anybody, really. Then we now move there, the first bus that we succeed in finding and we return in the hotel of it take. Closed discourse.

We proceed after all to the road and, turned the last angle, we find again there in the plaza of this morning. It reappears to our eyes the fountain and new children that turn around you had a good time. I look with apprehension the Millennium since this distance. My goodness, there are a lot of people on the door. But how much is you/he/she frequented? I keep on holding a hand on the lip to cover the infamy and I slowly proceed, to uncertain footstep.

And it is really in this moment that I see him/it. Just him, him in meat and bones. Phillip. The beautiful Phillip, sat to an external tavolino, under to the sun, newspaper in hand, blue shirt, legs astride. It is him, I would recognize him/it among thousand.

My heart begins to beat strong. If there was not this whole noise of howling children, we could feel even probably the pulsations gone crazy of it that they run after him one behind the other. And now what I do? Owing the first thought to be sincere to be flashes me for the head has been that not to tell anything the girls, to keep on walking and to fake not to have seen him/it. Cannot introduce him with this swollen face! It would not acknowledge me, I could pass very well unnoticed, he has the lowered head on his/her newspaper, I would not even have a hope to be seen. So that this happens, it is clear that I/you/he/she have to approach me me of intention and I am not sure to have this courage. But really in the moment in which I am about to take a decision, the face of Anita comes into my visual play.

«There are?» does he/she ask me, waving me a hand in front of the eyes «it is the Millennium that makes you this effect, or is there something that you have to tell us?»

But because I can never hold hidden a secret to my friends? Because they also understand me when I don't speak?

«Which effect?» I ask on the defensive.

«Bushels strenuously breathing and continuous to look in boy-shirt-blue direction» he/she answers.

'Azz, is so evident?

«The boy-shirt-blue one is Phillip» announcement everything of a breath.

Ok. And now they are in trouble. Melissa has opened wide the eyes and Anita you/he/she is cackling. I believe not to have way out.

«I cannot believe us, our trip to Perugia has served indeed!» Melissa exclaims.

«I would not say. Won't you want at all that I/you/he/she see me with this lip?» I reply me.

Melissa quadrates me with inquiring eye.

«We have come until here to look for a needle in the haystack. Have we found him/it and you what you want to do? To throw back him/it in the haystack?»

«You know him/it, true, that this is the last possibility that you have? Tomorrow we return home!»

Also Anita is amazed.

And it is all right. They are right. It is the last possibility that I have. It is clear that if I went now away, I would not see him/it anymore again. Yes, but these lips!?

In the minutes that follow we stop there in an angolino of the plaza to spy of hidden the movements of Phillip. I with a certain paranoia, have to say. You is passing a hand among the hair and you/he/she is reading the newspaper. A drink has now been served him, it owes to have thanked, then you/he/she is put again to read the newspaper, you/he/she has turned page, a girl has passed in heels and short skirt and him you/he/she has looked her at the culo (I kill him/it). Now has returned with the head on the newspaper, he passes again the hand in the hair, tells something the waiter that qualcos'altro handed him, is looking through then in the pocket of the jeans, is paying the account and then. oh cazzo! Is paying the account!

«Merda, loses him/it, we lose him/it!» you/he/she is howling Melissa, as it was a surgeon in the operating room.

«Cazzone!» I exclaim prey to the panic.

«Carina.» Anita has grabbed me the torch among the hands «. now or anymore!»

Well says: now or anymore!

I leave my friends to attend me in the angle of the plaza, definite to face him/it to you for you. Oh my God, that I do? What do I say? I am directing me to plushy footstep toward Phillip. I almost do him/it for inactivity. My body he directs verse of him but my head he/she would like that I started me racing away from here. What do I say? What do I tell him? Ok, Carina calm. It breathes deeply.

.

.

.

Good, this way. It keeps on breathing and it lifts the footstep, before Phillip disperses him.

I draw near more always me, but I wait that I/you/he/she am him to acknowledge me. It lifts the alone look when they are practically to few footsteps from him. And it immediately recognizes me. Look me. It is difficult to imagine to thing is thinking. Of sure it is amazed. Very amazed.

«Carina» it says, without expression.

«Hi, Phillip» I respond, while with the hand I hide the infamy of my superior lip.

«But cannot I believe us» it now mentions a smile and the thing it lifts me «thing does here us?»

«It is a rather long history.» The answers.

I have not removed the hand from the mouth yet, with the result that my voice appears.

«What you have said? I don't understand you.»

Oh cazzo.

«You remove the hand from the mouth, I don't understand what you say.»

Merda. I remove to rallentatore the hand from the lips and, to cover my strong embarrassment, me sganascio of laughters.

«It didn't stuff case» I say «I have received only a fist in full face!»

«But who can have gives you a fist?» he/she asks amazed and it seems more struck by this that from my senseless boxer aspect.

«Oh no, no» acts the hand «it was not turned to me, I have put in the middle of a kind of. brawl, and The have pecked at the cazzotto that had to take him another!»

I lift the eyes to the sky.

«But I pray you, he/she leaves that offers you something, so you tell me everything.» it suggests.

«Really.»

I turn back a look to the search of my abandoned friends in the angolino of the plaza, but I am not there. In the same instant, I receive a message to the jail cell.

"US TORNIAMO Á. THE MOTEL. YOU RESOLVE ALL AND REACH ONLY US WHEN YOU WILL HAVE ENDED. MELY AND ANY."

«It is all right» I finally accept.

In few instants, the tavolino of the Millennium is sat to and I feel me strange. I would not have really hoped to succeed in finding seriously it. I see again for a moment the scenes of us two together with Lecce, that famous evening.

Phillip is just as I remembered him/it to me. It has this angelic expression, innocent, of reliable and sure person of itself. If it were so beautiful, I could perhaps like him without necessarily trying attraction in his/her comparisons. Because, in short, useless to deny him/it, a certain attraction owes us to be. I would not make sense of me, otherwise, this strange sense of embarrassment that I try when it looks me, this necessity to lower the eyes, to torture me the fingers and to turn to the right me and to the left not to cross his/her look.

«Then» it says «and so it finds us. But not by chance, true?»

«Not by chance» I repeat me to mo' of parrot and my heart it loses a pulsation for the emotion. What do I tell him?

«I would never have imagined that you would have come until here.»

Seem me to feel an indication of surprise in his/her voice.

«They are in trip with my friends» I explain «but the motive that has pushed here us until, to say the truth, it is really that to talk to you.»

Acts the hand for air.

«You/he/she has not been quite easy to find you!»

«Already! As you have done?»

Its jail cell sends forth a beep. It extracts him/it, his/her old secular jail cell and law something quickly. At he looks around then.

My goodness, but that you/he/she has come me to mind? I start to repent to have stopped him/it to me. I would have had to walk right-hand. Will it be busy, no? It is clear that it was busy. Every person of the world is busy some things in his/her own life. Where was you/he/she directed before being stopped by the rompiscatole that has of forehead? Surely you/he/she will be thinking things of the kind inside of itself. My embarrassment skyrockets.

«I have remembered a thing that you had told me respect your usual cafe. I have made a brief search on the cafes of the city and, at the end, eccomi here!»

I make a breadth smile.

«Excellent» its voice is rather acute «and have you come for speaking to me. of thing, exactly?»

But as of thing? Has you/he/she forgotten the whole history by chance, the book, Destinies, the cartomante.?

«Be', you/he/she is seemed me that that evening we had not had enough time to tell everything of us.» The vaguely explain.

«Oh, that evening, yes. I also think me that there are not. said everything.»

Its tone has straight something strange and me fixed in the eyes.

«I believe that a history of the kind, means, so intense and rare, has all the motives to be deepened.»

My God, doesn't succeed in believing of star succeeding in saying him/it. The words go out me of mouth as fresh water of a faucet.

«Every day that someone exactly writes the history of another person doesn't happen. I have really felt struck by all this, and involved. Four hours, that evening, they have been too much few to tell everything of him, too much few even to become himself/herself/themselves account of the extraordinariness of the thing.»

Phillip keeps on observing me. He/she slightly nods with the head.

«Extraordinary, surely. All extraordinary.»

Doesn't he/she know how to say other? Does he/she know how to repeat what I say me only?

It seems me to the sudden one that the roles have overturned. That evening, to Lecce, it was him to speak, to hold the reins of the discourse, to tell together me thousand things all, with the tied up emphasis to his/her desire to tell me everything. You/he/she was shocked, struck by our history, from the destiny that it tied us. You/he/she had said that I was the woman of his/her life. Be goes', in short it didn't have him, really motto, but you/he/she had let him intend abundantly through its words. It was clear that for him I was the girl foreseen by the cartomante, just as it happens in my novel. In few words, I was his/her destiny. But because I have the impression that something is changed?

«You.» The stammers «. you creeds still to what that evening there is said, true?»

«They are spent many days» it says with a tone of uneasiness «some that I still believe in everything, is alone very strange to see here you.»

«I/you/they have come because I believed it was worth to meet you, to speak of that that has happened there.»

Don't even seem me true of star succeeding in so sincerely speaking to him. It is as if in this moment, now that are finally in front of him, you/they were coming to the light all the things that I really thought and that, perhaps because of my senses of guilt towards Dario, I was holding you bury in my unconscious. It is clear, now, that the times when I would have liked to escape from this situation, abdicating the trip, if I/you had been able, or to meet him/it, few minutes were only ago due to the senses of guilt, not certainly to my wish. I wanted to clarify with Phillip, I have immediately wanted him since. Since the moment in which I had seen him/it disappear behind the angle, that evening to Lecce.

«You know, there are things that he doesn't succeed in immediately saying. things that it needs to know how to say for time.» he/she stammers.

I look at him/it petrified. I start to believe to have made a hole in the water. You/he/she cannot be that has changed mind. You/he/she cannot be. Cannot absolutely deny that that that has happened there has been the most formidable thing that can happen in the life of two people! I have written his/her life! He has come to Lecce for me, only for me, to speak to me of this whole matter. Unbelievable!

«What you want to say?» taming him.

«At times the things seem less important than in reality you/they can be for somebody else, at times they seem. trivial details» he/she explains, clearly in embarrassment.

«I don't understand, I am sorry.»

«At times we give a wrong importance to the things, here» it says convinced, as if this time can have been clearer, but I keep on not understanding and I look at him/it with interrogative expression.

«No, it is that.» continuous, systematizing better himself/herself/itself on the chair «to message has arrived to me and The would owe really to escape.»

Thing? I suddenly feel me the woman more humiliated of the earth. I feel the blood flow in the veins and I don't feel me anymore the legs, the braccias, the limbs. I don't feel her really anymore to me. I feel me suspended for air, almost fluctuating, as if my soul was detached by the body.

It gets up from the table, leaving a banknote from ten European.

«I am sorry a world, Carina. Really, I am sorry it, but I have to go» it says mortified.

I see him/it run away away embarrassed, stumbling even in a chair.

Ok Carina. Not to be session as an idiot there. By now you have humbled, that importance can have if you race behind him keeping on humiliating you? I force me to think that if it goes so, without having given me an explanation, I cannot find again him/it anymore and I can never know. And I have need to know instead.

I get up me from the tavolino and I easily reach him/it being still to few footsteps from me.

«Phillip!» I howl to his shoulders.

He stops him and it turns back him to the, being mute to fix me.

«Tomorrow birth» I tell him «and I don't have intention to steal you other time.»

It seems indeed me that the roles are reversed. That time, to Lecce, it was him to have the incessant need to talk to me, it was him to have the train, it was him in the position in which I/you/they am me in this moment.

«You don't believe that I/you/he/she have at least the right to have an explanation? Is not there problem, do you know? If you have changed mind, I want to say, there is no problem.»

Me fixed for an instant in silence.

«I have not changed mind. Rather, I like you» it says «you are a beautiful person, I don't know a lot you, but something tells me that. that you macaws special.»

«But?» I say me.

As you/he/she is been able to happen everything this? Do I want to say, as is it that now I find me in the cloths of the conqueror, of colei that waits for an answer, of colei that pretends an explanation, when you/he/she has been him to start everything and when up to I was not even yesterday some that to look for the correct thing would have been him/it?

«But I have discovered later him. The wants to say, after all her. history.»

Ago an inaccurate gesture with the hand.

«But thing you want to say? I don't understand» I insist exhausted.

He breathes deeply.

«I have read your novel, Carina. I have read him with a lot of pleasure, you write very good and six succeeded even in moving me. And that time I/you/they have come to Lecce with some friends, for a breve. vacation to like.»

«Oh, you were not alone?» do I ask falling from the clouds «but did you have the train, that evening, or no?»

«Yes, yes» it hastens to answer «we had the train that evening, we had been being already to Lecce for three days» he/she explains to low voice, as it was afraid of my reaction.

Be', does thing intend to insinuate? What had not you/he/she come to Lecce for me on purpose as you/he/she had let me instead intend?

«Therefore?» I incite him/it to go on.

«I have spent some magnificent times together with you, I have also told him to Stephen, my friend.» he/she stammers.

«It doesn't serve that you giustifichi.» The reassure him/it.

«I am not justifying me» ago him on the defensive «in short, if you have come until here he/she wants to say that you have to hold indeed what has happened.»

Because, him no?

We stay for a moment in silence. I have neither words nor strength anymore to open mouth.

«It is so?» does he/she ask me again «you repute very important the whole matter of the novel, of the destiny, of the forecast.?»

«Phillip, sees some you if it is not important!» I exclaim with more hardness than in reality I intended.

«Obvious, obvious that repute her/it important. You are a writer, you/he/she must have been a special thing for you.»

For an instant I observe his/her embarrassed movements, his/her trembling lips, his/her gesture to rub him the hands on the jeans or to turn around himself/herself/themselves to avoid my look. What devil does he/she want to tell me? Does thing hold me hidden?

«And don't have idea than I mind disappointing you» it adds then.

«To disappoint me how, Phillip? That evening you wanted to tell indeed me her those things, or no?»

«There is a part of that evening that I would change gladly, because the whole rest has been perfect. I have never talked so much to a girl, and I have never had so so much desire of. to listen to her/it.»

The thing flatters me, but it doesn't reach the point.

«But is qual the part of the evening that you would like to cancel?» taming definite to want to get an answer within domattina.

«The part in which» he/she stammers «I have told you the whole nonsense of the novel, that whole absurd history.» acts the hand for air as to diminish the thing.

Ok. A moment. What is it that is saying? Nonsense? Absurd history? That is don't tell me, that.

«It was not true anything, is it this that bushels saying?» I almost ask him incazzata, but with me more than with him. To have been credulona, a fool that has believed in the first coglione" come to Lecce to speak to me!"

«We had organized everything with my friends, in sight of our trip to Lecce, that coincided with your presentation in the bookstore. but you/he/she has been foolish, because then, meeting you, The have understood that The coulds like seriously.»

Brief break of silence.

«Have tried then not to tell you nothing, have tried to lift me, go, change discourse, but by now were to speak of it there. The wills dark tell rather you, hand by hand that proceeded with that whole absurd history, seemed me that had happened indeed! I there was immedesimato!» it grins.

But what does it grin to do? I now throw him a cazzotto and I make him rotate the head of trecentosessanta degrees!

«But what bushels saying? What history is it this? Did your friends and you know, had your friends and you organized everything. But thing you say? What was it? What was it?» taming insistent.

«It was a bet, Carina. A bet.»

### 21

«A bet?» does Anita ask me with special mouth opened wide in sign of amazement «but as?»

«Not to tell him/it me, looks. I didn't want not to even believe us me when you/he/she has told him.»

Reentered in motel, I have told everything to the girls, that have been astounded at least how much me.

And now it is clearer: we are three cretines. I travel to Perugia, wasted money, sulker from spread out boxer to earth," we look for the needle in the haystack." And here it is! Has stung that is beautifully! I would have done better to throw back him/it in the haystack and perhaps I would not be me wounded.

Also being only the five, I stretch me on the bed and I try to close the eyes. I would like so much to fall in a deep sleep that makes me forget every thing. In my drowsiness I feel the girls that speak in a low voice between them. Anita is mentioning something on Luca and on the motives that according to her you/they have pushed him/it to disappear in the nothing and not to make himself/herself/themselves more to feel.

But it is useless, I don't succeed in sleeping. Any thought brings me to Phillip.

How can I have been so stupid? "Every reference to facts, things or people is purely casual." Is how devil been able me to come to mind to believe in a history of the kind? Are I/you/they let me fascinate from the rarity of the matter or thing? Are I/you/they let me deceive from the angelic face of Phillip? As I have been able? I/you/they are disappointed indeed, of me, of him, of the whole history.

The senses of guilt. My goodness, now yes that they will give me thread to twist. I have done all this to look for an answer to something that didn't exist. I have doubted of my history with Dario, I have left him to Lecce without telling him where direct was and to do what, I/you/they have come here to Perugia to look for another man and to investigate on an imaginary fate that cared united as a thin thread. The flowers have put vestitino bought just before to depart only for looking for him/it. Because he had told me to be found again him in my novel, because you/he/she had spoken too much to me of great coincidences to be able to stay from there indifferent. Do you understand? Was a great sign of the destiny!

Now that I think it with lucidity, I become me account that I must have been a cretina if I have been able to believe seriously in this fable. I connect the facts, I put together what it comes out from there it is a compassionate result. It was not true nothing and me I/you/they are let me deceive. I have not even doubted for a second of his/her bona fide, even for a second. The sincerity of its eyes had deceived me. The fact that had come from Perugia to meet me, also. You/he/she had organized well instead all for with his/her friends, before departing. You/he/she had read my novel, you/he/she had discovered that the writer was leccese and you/he/she had organized a bet with his/her friends, a foolish bet that would have color his/her vacation salentina, a bet that had to win to every cost. Will have won her to the great one, judge from the way according to which have succeeded in falling as a cooked pear, owes to have crushed her/it, owes to have made a figurone with his/her friends when has told everything! Will money be played, even? How much will you/they have laughed to my shoulders?

I am so disappointed that I am crying. The tears bathe my cheeks and I dry her on the sheet.

Dario misses me, Lecce misses me. I want to go home, it is the only thing that I want to do. I feel for the first time in this whole history to have been wrong since the beginning. The risk that I have raced to be able to ruin my relationship with Dario makes me come the shivers.

«All ok?» Melissa asks me.

«I want to go home» I affirm as a child.

«Yes, we also want him/it us. Tomorrow it is almost arrived.»

I grab the jail cell supported on the comodino and fixed suffering the display. I have an enormous hole in the stomach. Of Dario not even the shade.

You/he/she will have understood everything, it has to be this way. Dario is intelligent, you/he/she will have understood without doubt that it entered it a man this history. But if I was able I would explain him every thing, embracing him/it strong. I would explain him that it is not as he/she thinks, that a man entered it, yes, but not in that sense. And, above all I would explain him, that this trip to Perugia has served me to understand so many things, to graze the most intimate part of me, to look me in the depth and to extrapolate the truth: it is with him that I want to be. Only that the destiny, that great mystery of every time, knows so much to be very strong to darken you the mind. When he arrives, it sweeps away every certainty. And, in my case, you/he/she has arrived so to the sudden one that I have not had the time to rationalize to think of us with lucidity. You/he/she has sent me in confusion, but I/you/they are gone out winning of it. It is as if everybody this tied up history to Phillip has represented, up to a little while ago, an opaque veil that had put on between me and my intimacy a veil that didn't allow me to understand what I really wanted. I now know what I want.

«I want to return home» I repeat to the girls, stronger than before.

«Tomorrow to this time there will be already» Melissa reassures me.

At twenty and thirty o'clock they knock to the door of the room. Melissa and Anita are gone out, they have not succeeded in convincing to go me together with them, I have preferred to remain in room to reflect, to cry, to lean out to the window and to look at the pecorelles.

«Who is?»

«Cosimo» it says the voice on the other side of the door.

I get up me from the bed and I open the door with a breadth smile. Me ago indeed pleasure to see him/it. For the whole afternoon, I have to admit to often have thought about the moment in which I would have seen him/it again. I felt like telling him everything, to have his/her opinion.

«The supper is almost ready» it says.

I look around me for the room in disorder.

«The girls have not returned yet, I should wait her.»

«Tell to be here her in ten minutes» it suggests me.

«Ok.»

«And you as you are?» he/she asks then me, observing more attentively me above the occhialinis «you have a bad aspect. Have you fought?»

«Ah, that?» I gently touch me the lip that still hurts some «I have taken a fist for mistake» I explain without interest.

«You have put some ice?»

«Yes, you/he/she has given him/it for me the lady Tilde. However it is not all right.» The declare.

«For that famous history?» he informs.

«I tell you everything after supper, does it suit you?» I propose him.

«Absolutely yes. Always better listening to your histories that to be to read jokes camouflaged of biblical stories!»

We burst to laugh together.

«Perfect then. See you later!»

I am ready in the turn of fifteen minutes. I have worn an imagination floral shirt, a pair of shorts and of the gilded sandals to low sole. The girls are already to cafeteria to wait me. I lock the door of the room and I go down down for the squeaky staircases. I launch an occhiolino to Cosimo that is busy with two clients and enter room. The girls look me been sorry, but it is not necessary; I feel very better already me. The departed afternoon in loneliness has served me to reflect and to understand a lot of things. It is not necessary that feels him been sorry for me.

The supper spends without too many obstacles, apart a waiter from the scarce level of intelligence that has brought me for twice the sugar rather than the salt and the fizzy water rather than that mineral. For the rest, a supper to lick him the moustaches. It would not be said, perhaps, to beware the motel of the appearance, but they have a good service and of the excellent cooks. And an extraordinary nighttime keeper!

After supper I reach Cosimo with even anymore enthusiasm of when I have met Phillip.

Let's find him/it busy to give information on costs and pernottamento to a young couple of fiancés. When he frees I literally launch me on him.

«Eccoci Cosimo, as does it go?»

«Me benone» he/she answers while he/she is annotating something on a notebook.

Then it lifts the look.

«You rather, does it still hurt you?» it points out my lip.

«Less than a few times ago. You feel, insureds that tonight doesn't take the room close to our couples of lovers or things of the kind. Tomorrow morning we have soon the train, we will want to sleep!» I exclaim joky.

«I will do the possible one» he/she answers «but has thing happened with your Phillip then?»

You sits on his/her revolving chair and it is positioned how much more comfortably possible. I support the elbows on the reception, while the girls sit him to the divanettis.

«You imagine; the whole trip up to Perugia, the country houses done for meeting him/it, the everything to discover no popòs less.» The tell theatrical way «. that you/he/she was treated only of to scommesssa!» I pronounce the word with a certain emphasis, putting us more Ss of how much of it should be.

«A bet?» he/she asks for confirmation.

«Really this way. There are two things that fundamentally hurt me. The disappointment to have discovered that it was not true anything respect to the fact that I/you had written his/her history. In short I believed, that indeed such an unbelievable thing had happened, rare, of which would have gone fair for the rest of my life» I torture me the hands «and then the fact to have put to risk my history with Dario.»

«Dario is your boy?» Cosimo asks me.

«Dario is my boy. Allow to add me: my extraordinary boy.»

«But luckily you/he/she is not changed anything with him, after this whole history.» he informs.

«On my behalf you/he/she is not not only changed anything, but it is also everything clearer than first.»

«And for him?»

Cosimo looks me with his/her brisk little eyes, from which I feel me scrutinized in the depth.

«He doesn't know anything, but I suppose that has been able to imagine something. I have not even told him the motive for which I came to Perugia» I explain «the fact is whether to come here, to do what I have done, has served me to understand that I have risked to lose the person most important my life.»

To this thought, I have a wince to the heart.

«And is qual the motive for which you have jeopardized your history?» ask me.

«The destiny. Mass I have felt to the test from a great too destiny. Even if in reality it was a whole lie.»

«Only for that?» does anchor ask me, digging in my intimacy «according to you the histories depend from the case or from our will?»

Who knows because I already know qual it is the answer that would give me him. I read her/it to him in the eyes.

«Be'» I clear up me the voice «before meeting Phillip, Dario and I we were having a series of incomprehensions, due to the fact that he was too distracted by the job. I needed attentions. And surely I also needed a break, to understand some things.»

«You think that somehow the two things coincides? The incomprehensions with Dario and the arrival of Phillip?»

I look at him/it in silence for a moment.

«I am so overlapped, the two things, that he/she succeeds me difficult to give an answer to your question. However perhaps yes, some you/they have coincided. Phillip has been carrier of a lot of coincidences in my life. too coincidences to stay indifferent of it. If you/he/she had been an only coincidence ok, but so so many all in once.»

I deeply, leaving the fifty-fifty sentence.

«The book, the cellular scassato, the list.» it says the voice of Melissa, inserting himself/herself/itself in the discourse from the divanetto on which is sat, to our shoulders.

«Yes» I nod in his/her direction «so many coincidences. But was that that had put me in confusion the tied up coincidence to my novel, without doubt» I declare with determination, giving two taps with the hand on the wood of the counter «therefore, done come less that, doesn't remain anything, do you understand? Discovered that has been a whole big lie, for me nothing that ties me to Phillip doesn't remain anymore. I have understood how much stupid have been, here.»

Down the look on the floor and a tear is about to rule me the face, but I dries him in time before someone the known ones.

«At times the loves need alone a shake» it says Cosimo with peaceful voice «you/they can also happen strong coincidences, enormous destinies, unbelievable fates that sway our attention from what it counts indeed, but sooner or later truth surfaces and what also counts indeed» ago a brief break «you/they can distract us the mind but not the heart.»

«Therefore, according to you, would I have realized of it however, even if had not I/you met Phillip to Perugia here and had not I/you ever known the truth?» I ask hopeful.

«I am sure of yes» he/she answers with iron decision.

I sketch a smile. The words of Cosimo make me more serene and more lifted. It is obvious that the love for Dario would have come however out, to the correct moment. Any destiny, also unbelievable that is, you/he/she can deceive our heart. You/he/she can distract our mind but not the our heart.

After our conversation and after having settled the account of the pernottamentis, I/you/they have gone in bed last night with a renewed serenity and, above all, with the awareness that this trip to do to Perugia has been vital. You/he/she has been a trip rather inside myself, I have put again to place every wedge, I have known the truth, not so much that told by Phillip how much the truth found again inside of me, has been able to learn advantageous lessons from my old man, wise man friend Cosimo and I have fallen asleep with a smile. I decidedly wake up this morning of good humor. If from a side I already start to hear nostalgia for this place, for Cosimo and for the whole rest, from the other side I cannot wait to return home for riabbracciare Dario.

Of all hurry I have dressed and now I have already grabbed on to the handle of my suitcase. I wear a white suit and the gilded sandals, I have tied the hair in a braid and I have not even put make up on.

Ready also the girls, we drag there behind our suitcases and we stop there on the door to admire for the last time our room, the hard beds that have made us suffer the ache of back, the bleak bagnetto behind the wood door, the portrait of the old gentleman from the sad expression on which I have placed the eyes so many times in these days, the violet awning behind which a splendid valley hides him full of poppies and sheep to the pasture. Hi, old room.

We go down down in the room making I count us that in reality it is rather slow and we should move us not to miss the train. We know that this morning Cosimo has the change of turn at seven and half o'clock, therefore a quarter of now first we are already from him. But so much would not surely have gone without greeting us, even if we had made delay.

Let's find him/it on the door of the motel, to observe the life that flows out, the cars that dart, people elegantly dressed in this Sunday of sun. From the cafeteria the arrive notes of a dessert music of foundation and the aroma of the coffee right-hand it comes to again my nostrils. It is the schedule of the breakfast.

«Good morning Cosimo!» I exclaim, and he immediately turns him to look us. It has the smiling eyes, you/he/she shaves and I would like not to owe him/it healthy.

«Good morning to you, girls! Coffee, cappuccino?»

«We don't have time for the breakfast, unfortunately we have to escape» Anita responds with desolate voice. We are all sad ones to owe him/it healthy.

We approach us to him and we place all the suitcases on the floor. Now that the moment of the regards has come, I don't know indeed thing to tell him. To tell him thanks it would be so riduttivo.

I look around me an instant and I attentively observe the room. The wood carpet, the dark counter, the suspended pictures, the awning bordeaux that conceals the cafeteria, the clock from the consumed hands, the red divanettis some aged ones, that you/they seem almost nibbled by the mice, the suspended keys to the wood glass showcase, the first two steps that are glimpse some staircase that brings a small fat seedling supported on a shelf to the plan of the rooms. In this moment it serves capolino as the awning the waiter that usually serves the breakfast.

«Good trip, girls» it says.

We thank him/it to duty and a giggle almost escapes me. Two evenings ago this place had totally made us a different impression. With our absurd imaginations, we had made him/it the ambientazione perfect of a film of the horror. It was us everything, the lost motel, the scarce illumination, the expressionless old man behind the reception.

Me facing to look at Cosimo that is fixing in turn me with his/her brisk little eyes, the wrinkles around the eyes, the half-open boccuccia, the great ears that are glimpse behind his/her thick grey hair. I understand to have found a great friend, here to Perugia. The feeling that this man transmits me is formidable. If only I were on the point to depart, today I would probably invite him/it to spend the whole day with me. I believe that also he is tied to us, and to me particularly I allow me to say. There is a sort of good alchemy among us, I feel her/it.

I hand him the key number three and him it grabs her/it without looking at her/it.

«You have to go, therefore, or you risk to miss the train.»

«Yes» I say.

«Even if we lost him/it, we would return here from you» it adds Melissa with joy.

But its joy plays false, we know that it is only a fitting. Nobody in this instant is happy, if we have to tell us goodbye.

«Greeted me my beloved Puglia» it tells then us Cosimo to render less dramatic.

«You can count us» Anita responds.

We give us a warm embrace, we kiss us and in an instant we are out of the Cris Motel. I look at the insignia for the last time and then I take to walk behind the girls.

«Carina» Cosimo calls me after some instant.

«Yes?» I turn me verse of him.

«Memoirs when I have told you that you/he/she cannot be escaped the heart?» he/she asks me.

«Certain.»

«It is the greatest error that can be tried to do. Also I was trying there» it declares lifting the eyebrows.

«That is?» taming incuriosita.

«But last night, talking to you, I have understood how much important to go is after all until to the things and to make things clear inside of us» it looks me smiling «so when you have gone in bed, I have phoned Tilde.»

I look at him/it waiting for the succession and the girls, that are stopped to wait me, stay also in attended incuriosite.

«Tonight I have an appointment with her» it pronounces satisfied, lifting the head with air of false superb.

I leave the suitcase on the floor and I race him meeting to embrace him/it and this time I don't fear that can be annoyed of it. He reciprocates me the embrace.

«It is marvelous» I tell him looking at him/it in the eyes, without worrying to hide me mine, that are shiny.

«Truth is not never easy to be found, it is never clear, you/he/she is always hidden, camouflaged, it makes often him that cannot be found» it says «and really for this we owe, at least us in ours small, to try to make her/it how much clearer possible. Also for the others. Above all for the people that love us.»

Says this, it extracts his/her pretense Bible from the pocket of the jacket and it hands me her.

«Thing?» I ask him me, grabbing her/it.

«Hold her/it you. I don't have of it more need» it tells me «but assured that people know that behind that sacred custody of skin a book of jokes hides him.»

I look at him/it in silence in the eyes. They smile and they are very beautiful.

«I will do him/it» I answer with a breadth smile.

### Then I start over walking, I grab the suitcase and, always with mine" Bible of jokes" in a hand, I leave me the Cris Motel to the shoulders.

###

###

###

###

### 22

I have thought about Dario for the whole trip in train. To see the station of Lecce again has been a true comfort for my mind in tumult. We have gone down from the carriage, we have breathed the air of house and I have turned an instant to concern the train before taking the underpass. An unconscious gesture, has wanted to greet him/it waving the hand. Greeting the train that has brought us home, in reality I have greeted Perugia, Cosimo, Phillip, all that that, in a way or in the other, my brief vacation has made only.

Now they are in my room. They are missed two days and it seems me passed an eternity. I have left a beautiful po' of stuff around, a true disaster. I will surely make later some order, but I am now busy something more important: Dario.

I have intention to propose him a trip out handed. We will go from some part, anywhere both, perhaps far or perhaps always in Puglia, I don't know, to Alberobello, to the caves of Castellana, to Ostuni, on the Gargano, anywhere both provided that we go together there, alone, to speak and to find again ourselves. With the experience that I/you/they are left me to the shoulders, I have understood that the thorn to detach from the reality and to take a trip. symbolic, because then the real trip is that inside of us. it serves for putting order in his/her own mind. We will arm there of backpack, of photographic car, of comfortable shoes and we will go around as tourists, even I taken by the hand. And it will be an unique trip, anywhere we will go.

I take the jail cell and I go to the voice * love *. The fixed one for a moment, feels the heart that beats me strong, then I press the green key.

The client from her called it is not to the attainable moment.

I stay badly there. I died so much from the desire to feel him/it!

I slip me a comfortable overall and I reach the girls in the kitchen. The table they are sat to and they are prepared a coffee.

«For me no coffees?» I ask.

«It is he/she anchors in the moka of it. We wanted to leave you alone with your Dario. Have you already felt?» he informs Melissa.

«It is not attainable. Patience, retries later» I answer thoughtful, pouring in a cup the coffee remained in the coffeepot muccata.

«But leaving aside this thing» I say then with joy sitting me together with them «I want to refer the list, girls!» I announce with conviction.

«Which list?» he/she asks doubtful Anita. The expression of Melissa, makes instead me think, that has perfectly understood to what list I report me.

«This» I say, extracting the famous list from the pocket of the overall.

The girls look at her/it with attention.

SCALING TOWARD THE OBJECTIVE

1. To listen more

2. No job in moments of couple

3. To ask around feelings

4. Don't have / to use cellular

5. Light books

6. Possession degree

7. To give pup of dog

«You want to refer her?» Melissa incuriosita asks me.

«Certain!» I exclaim with strident voice «this is old, I want to cancel the old things, I feel me reborn, renewed, and I want my relationship to be also it with Dario!»

The girls look me you make suspicious but don't say a word.

«Ok» he/she succeeds in saying Melissa after some second. Dopodiché grabs the list, the biro on the table and, as that time, her ago from editor.

«We also begin.»

«Then» I drink a sip of coffee «first of all, the first point is absolutely false, I don't even know as has been able to think only it. Dario listens to me, if you/he/she has not done him/it in these last times you/he/she has been alone and only for the job, I am sure that it will return to do as before it.»

«Well. Then?» Melissa asks me.

«It cancels the first point!» I order her. You a line obeys and throws.

«Stings two: I prefer thousand times my Dario that speaks to me of job rather than to be him distant and not to feel really his/her voice.»

I pick me the pellicina around a fingernail.

«It is me missed to feel him/it in these days, who knows thing I would have given for listening to talk him/it to one of his/her clients, as ago always, with that hateful expression of his of man in career, his/her voice all compote.» The snickers «it also cancels the point two!»

Melissa another line obeys and throws.

«Then» continuous peering at the following point on the list «I believe that in reality he asked me enough around my feelings, I was me not to listen to him/it!» me colpevolizzo.

«And anchor, if I have to choose among to be without him and to be with him and with his/her jail cell and with all the calls of job that arrive to him, prefers the second option!» I exclaim with vigor.

The girls have surprised expressions. They keep on fixing me without opening mouth, perhaps bewitched by my confessions. I take advantage of this instant of silence to again compose the number of Dario, but the usual mechanical voice responds: always the client from her called it is not to the attainable moment.

«And then what there was still?» do I spy the list to see the following points again «what you/he/she can rub of it if doesn't read books? No, do tell me, what can you/he/she rub of it?»

I stare at the girls looking for an answer.

«Ehm.» Melissa stammers.

«Nothing!» I respond to my same question «I cannot pretend that I/you/he/she have my same passion for the books. When I have said that stronzata» I beat with the finger on the point five of the list «I had to be out of sense. Each has his/her own tastes his/her own passions. He likes the sporting cars, to me no. I like the books, to him no!»

The fixed one with the wide open eyes in sign of amazement, as I/you had just discovered the warm water.

«It doesn't make a fold!» I add then.

«You are not perhaps depriving you of all of your desires?» ask me at the end Melissa «I want to say, when you have written this list, you were convinced of the things that you said. You desired indeed all these things.»

«Yes, I desired indeed her, but then I had the darkened mind, I was not able to go beyond that fools desires» I explain sure of me «the trip to Perugia has first of all served me to this, to understand a lot of things of me to understand what I want indeed. That I was me before departing for Perugia» I declare pointing out the list with the hand.

It is the first time that I disclose to the girls with so much safety my theory respect the trip to Perugia as symbol of one internal trip of mine.

«Ok» it simply replies Melissa.

«I find him/it so romantic.» it says Anita instead folding up the head of side.

«It cancels all the points Mely. You restarts afresh» I order her.

«The point already be cancel» ago her, observing the sheet.

«Perfect then» I respond.

«I have to also cancel the point respect the pup of dog?» ask me fixing me uncertain «you desired so much a dog.»

I reveal me to reflect us a moment.

«You are right. You do something, it cancels all the points except seven. A dog I want him/it, but it doesn't necessarily have to give me him him. I will ask him him me same and we will go to pick together it up. How can a person know what we want if we don't tell him him? Should you/he/she perhaps read us in the thought?» acts the head in sign of amazement «here is thing ruins the relationships: the incapability to communicate. Our partners are not magicians or mentalisti put to our side to the purpose to realize every demand of ours. The word exists for coming him I meet, to know him, to express a desire or a need!»

I stop speaking and rest in silence for an instant. I didn't believe to have this whole wisdom inside of me. Perugia has been a miracle! I grab the cup and I drink the last sip of coffee by now cooled. Then I ask to Melissa to pass me the Definitive List, as I have just rechristened her.

SCALING TOWARD THE OBJECTIVE

1. To listen more

2. No job in moments of couple

3. To ask around feelings

4. Don't have / to use cellular

5. Light books

6. Possession degree

7. To give pup of dog

(to tell him that I want a dog

and to buy together it)

I observe her satisfied.

«So it is perfect. I hang him to the door of my room.»

I get up me from the chair and I leave the prey stunned girls to their thoughts. This Definitive List, if nothing else, it is the concrete test that something is really changed in me, from when I/you/they have returned from Perugia.

### 23

The client from her called it is not to the attainable moment.

I stay molt to fix the display of the jail cell that never flashes. I have tried to call him/it so many times, but it always has the out jail cell. I have also sent him some messages to tell him/it that I/you/they have reentered; not an answer. The thing would worry me less, if you/they were not spent three days from when I/you/they have returned from Perugia. Has you/he/she changed number? What has happened? Does he/she want to torture me? Does he/she want to take revenge of me? It exactly is not the mature attitude that I expected me from an intelligent person as him.

Is sat on the step of house, to the feet of the central portoncino, and the cars that dart on the road look. A lady has just ended to shake the carpet from his/her balcony, while two dogs are trying the proper joining in front of me. But my head is from everything other part and there is not anything that I/you/he/she succeed in distracting me. Possible that Dario always has this damned cellular extinguished? I cannot stay on the thorns anymore. I have need to know. Doesn't he/she want me anymore? Has you/he/she understood that I have combined a disaster? Has you/he/she understood that I have put in discussion our history for the greatest cazzata that could happen me?

And it is all right, I will look for him/it in firm, it is the only thing that he/she remains me to do. I quickly reflect on as to do to arrive us. It would be a drudgery to go us afoot, since lontanuccia is quite a lot. No problem, will take the scooter.

I quickly climb in the house, I race in room, I look through in a pair of purses to look for the keys of the scooter, meeting Melissa in corridor that looks me with the wrinkled forehead.

«I race in firm to look for him/it!» I howl her to answer to the question that has not done me yet.

I don't lose an instant and I/you/they have already been climbed on my scooter. The sun is not tramontato yet. I dart as a crazy because I fear that to this time is able not to be above already us anybody in firm.

I arrive later around about ten minutes, thanks to the fortune that has made me almost all find the green semaphores. I park the scooter between a Panda and an old white van and enter firm.

The firm is an enormous spiazzo with the whole floor in cement. You enters from a gate that you/he/she is left always half-open and, when he is inside, he is usually run over by an odor of cement and earth. Made some footstep, a gruppetto of dogs generally comes you meeting barking. In reality I/you/they have come a couple of times only in this firm, but Dario has spoken of it enough to imagine that these habits are not certainly changed. Nevertheless, today I don't feel some particular odor and they are not even there the dogs to come I meet me. I only one of it, stretched out on a bundle of grass to take the last rays of sun, and it doesn't leastly seem intenzionato to trouble himself/herself/themselves to race I meet me. Now that I think it, I don't even feel strange noises, type of crane, truck to the job or stuffs of the kind. It was not for some human form that stirs in the background, I could swear to be alone. The stretched out dog and I on the grass.

I go me to expeditious footstep toward the offices that I remember well to be on the left entering from a small green gate covered of climbing ivy. I look around me uncertain, almost with guilty expression, as him same doing something illegal to slip within here me without the permission of anybody. When I am almost near to the administrative office, an outline it hacks him from I break down him/it and it comes out of a small dark room with a pair of cartellettes in hand.

«Hi Carina» it tells me, amazed to see me.

It is Fabio, a young assistant of Dario, a kind of do-all secretary. In reality I always have series difficulty to remember his/her name, but fortune wants statement to hold today it on a suspended label to the green apron.

«Hi Fabio» I answer with strident voice, fearing that can be him aware that have shamelessly peered at his/her name on the label before turning him the word «you feel, do you know where I can find Dario?»

«Dario is not here, I am sorry it. Really it has not come us for a few days. I know that they are busy on a yard to Leverano and then.» it jams for to moment as star was realized giving too information «. and then they macaws busy with the The moves» you/he/she concludes.

«Therefore won't it come here?» I still ask.

«I don't believe really, Carina. Here they rarely come by now us. Then to this time activities are finished.»

This boy is of an unique gentleness. It will be to take advantage well of it.

«In fact I was giustappunto noticing that there is not really anybody around. Do you feel, but according to you there is a telephone number where I can find Dario?»

You/he/she is observing me with an expression stranita, looking for for education to fake himself/herself/themselves less amazed possible. Dario certainly is not one who blabs around his/her private life, knowing I know him/it that you/he/she has not told none of our brief separation, this explains the motive for which Fabio is falling from the clouds.

«Its jail cell results out» I add.

«Oh, I would not know.» he/she thinks of us an instant «The don'ts know indeed as to help you.»

«There is a fixed number where to contact him/it? Or perhaps the number of Matteo?»

Look me as if I/you had asked him to blab me the secret code of a safe.

«I am not cleared to give the number of Matteo.» it politely says.

«We go, Fabio. The ams the girl of Dario and therefore the sister-in-law of Matteo!»

Be the first time that use the word" sister-in-law", don't play then malaccio!

The boy thinks of us an instant, then you/he/she supports the cartellettes on the muretto to his/her right and you/he/she finally extracts the jail cell from a small pocket of his/her apron.

«Test to make this number» it says, dictating me the figures that I hasten me to digitize on the keyboard of my jail cell.

«It is of Matteo?» I inquire me before saving.

«Really it is a new number that has given some days ago me Dario. It says that they have to have only it few people.»

When it pronounces these words, it lowers the look.

«I understand» I say expressionless.

But what bastard. Has you/he/she changed the number and has not you/he/she told me nothing? Didn't he/she want to be tracked down? I kill him/it.

«You have been very kind Fabio. Thanks!»

I turn on the heels and I race toward the exit.

«I owe you a favor!» I finally howl, once out of the grassy wicket.

I return to the scooter and rest an instant it stops to think fixing the void. I feel me so humiliated. Have I ruined everything indeed? Have I ruined everything to the point that Dario has reached even to change number without telling me him? I am about to cry, in the desperation of an absurd thought: I have lost Dario. You/he/she cannot be, I don't want to accept him/it. I dry me a tear on the sleeve of the shirt. I take the jail cell and I do me courage. I press the green key on the voice just memorized * new love num *.

It rings. My heart beats madly. When will feel me will be surprised, is logical: is not waited that I can call him/it to his/her secret number! Will you/he/she have given him/it to some girl? And if he/she answers saying the name of another? He/she will answer saying" Samanta" or perhaps" Clarissa", or" Jessica", or he/she anchors worse" Love." I kill him/it, this is certain!

«Ready?»

Oddio, is him.

«Hi Dario» my voice trembles.

«Carina?»

They feels a lot of noises in foundation, the line is disturbed and he is forced to lift the voice.

«Yes» I say, also lifting the voice me.

«I move me, it waits for a moment, I don't feel you!»

They follow second of attended. Then to the sudden one noises disappear and he returns to the telephone.

«As you have done to have this number?» he/she asks me almost bored.

«I have had him.»

I jam me quickly reflecting. In reality I don't know if I can disclose who has given him/it for me, Fabio you/he/she has been so kind with me, the least one that can do it is to maintain the secret.

«It doesn't care, what counts it is that I have had him, even if you didn't want.» The say on the defensive to make to revert the guilt on him.

There are other instants of silence, then he takes back.

«You have returned therefore?»

«I/you/they have returned from some, I have tried to call you, I have written you, I have left you messages in reception office.»

«I have wanted to stay alone to reflect for a few days» it says.

I feel me to die. I have ruined everything. You/he/she has understood, I am certain that has understood. But anything has understood, in reality has not understood anything! If I am not me to explain him the whole matter of the" internal trip", as you/he/she could have understood?

«On thing you had to reflect?» taming.

«You have resolved your things?» he/she answers me with another question.

«Yes, I have resolved her» I confirm definite.

«Well I am happy for you. And because you have called me?»

«But as because? I want to see you, I/you/they have returned!» my answer is similar to a complaint.

«I know everything, Carina» it says point-blank then.

Merda. I feel me to faint. Does he/she know everything? As it is possible? You/he/she cannot know everything. You/he/she could have understood qualcosina, but you/he/she cannot know everything. Anybody, apart Melissa and Anita, it is to the current one of the matter. Be Melissa and Anita they would never betray me, can swear him/it on my same life!

«You have drawn near the day of the presentation in the bookstore?» he/she asks me.

I stay molt to fix the void. How ago to know him/it? Who of the two you/he/she has spoken, Melissa or Anita? As you/they have dared to make a thing of the kind? For a moment it seems me that the world is about to fall I set me. In a fleeting breaker I am losing my fiancé and my best friends.

«It is not as you think, the matter is very more complicated.» hazard with to light tremor in the voice.

«Ah, and so it is everything true? Are you wanted to avenge you of me because I/you/they have not come to the presentation that day? Has you/he/she done you some avanceses? What has happened?»

It is desperate.

«No!» cry almost in tears and prey to the panic.

«But then with that old.» it says with disdainful voice.

«. old? But if it has more or less your same age!»

Ops, is escaped me.

«My same age? But it seems an old man!» continuous him still disdainful towards the rival.

«And he/she wanted only however to speak to me, to tell me some important things, has not been together never!» I explain howling.

«Be', that Gem has not said really this way. To who owe to believe now?»

Gem? Gem? Oddio, to the sudden one it opens me in head an enormous window, now it is everything clear. I almost burst in a laughter.

«Gem?» taming for confirmation.

«Yes, Gem has told me everything. The bookseller a big face has toasts to try us with all those that go to make the presentations of their books, eh?»

I am about to explode in a violent laughter. My euphoria is clearly due to the fact that I have feared seriously of sentir to slip under the terrestrial one to my feet and now I understand instead to be able he/she anchors to systematize every thing. I am so happy that if there pits Gem in this moment, probably rather than to beat I would throw myself to her to tighten her/it in an embrace.

«Dario, listen well to me: are out footstep! To reenter in roadway absolutely owe to see me, I will be me to explain you everything. That Gem has some small wheel out set, believe me! The day of the presentation has almost order for air the whole event! Be a crazy person! I had to imagine that you/he/she would have taken revenge of me somehow perfidious!» I explain all of a breath.

It follows some instant of silence.

«But as you/he/she will have done to find you? To know that you were my boy?» taming then with a great question mark.

«To tell you the truth, some crazy person you/he/she is also seemed to me. In fact it is not that its confessions had convinced me to the one hundred percent.» it admits Dario.

«Facebook!» I say me suffered an illumination «it is to investigate effortless on the life of the people through Facebook!»

«. it has to have out burdens small wheel place, you macaws right. he/she thinks that you/he/she has also tried us with me» it says.

«Thing? Me that I kill her/it!» am practically howling «is invented a lot of things! Dario, is one moved!»

It follows another longer break of silence, in which I try to realize if between me and Dario the things can settle or less. Then he starts over speaking and it seems me that its voice has decidedly sweetened.

«Where you are?» he/she asks me.

«Ehms, are. in to parking lot.» The stammers.

«Which parking lot?» it seems suspicious.

«The parking lot out of your firm» I finally admit.

There is not a particular motive for which I would have liked to hide him where I am me, apart the intention not to disclose that you/he/she has been Fabio to give me his/her new number.

«And what do you do us there?» question him surprised.

«I had come to look for you, deficient!» I answer joky.

«But I to this time ever am not in firm. you feel, as have you arrived there, in bus?» he informs.

«No, I/you/they have come in scooter really there.»

«How much it employs us your scooter to bring you home?»

«Ten, maximum fifteen minutes» I answer, and Dario cannot see the great smile that has just opened on my face.

«Ok then. We see us to your house in fifteen minutes.»

### 24

I arrive home and I climb the ramp of staircases two steps at a time. I have to hurry and to fall me in room to put I set me something decent, before Dario arrives. I have the stunned face, I should also refer me some the makeup.

I take the keys of house from the purse and I do for putting her in the hole of the lock, but I realize me that the door is half-open. I slowly push her and within.

«Hey.» The say astounded when The ams in the kitchen, where Dario is comfortably sat on the couch.

You/he/she has cut some the hair from the last time that I have seen him, you/he/she has allowed to grow the short beard and he/she wears a shirt to pictures on a pair of black bermuda.

«Who has made you enter?» taming him.

«I have found down Melissa to the front door» he/she answers mysterious.

«Hi» I tell again him remaining impaled on the door.

I decidedly feel me awkward and embarrassed. I look at him/it looking for an answer. Has you/he/she still become rabid with me? Has you/he/she realized that in these days I/you/they have been some distant? Has you/he/she realized that I have combined a half disaster? To see here it to smile does me me to come a kind of sense of dizziness owed to the risk that I have raced, that to lose him/it.

«You/they have taken you to barrel?» he/she asks me alluding to the wound close to the lip. And if you/he/she had seen some days ago me with the swollen face, would thing have thought then?

«I have taken a fist in face for error» I explain without giving too importance to the thing.

«And so, eccoci here» I say then, appropriating the sides and bewaring of every part except that in his/her eyes.

«Already» it says «I/you/they have arrived first me, your scooter is too much slow.»

I silently nod.

There is an atmosphere some brim, I also perceive nervousness on his/her behalf. Me, from my song, I don't even know whether to tell him. They pass me for the head a lot of thoughts and all the scenes that I have lived in these last days. The trip to Perugia, Cosimo, Phillip, then, anchor, the desire that I have had of riabbracciare Dario. And we are here now, one in front of the other, but we don't know whether to tell us. We don't even know how to look us in the eyes.

«And so you have returned» it says, and its words remain as suspended for air.

«Yes, you see, you/he/she has been a long trip.» The say.

Then I make some footstep before, I push a chair and I sit down me in front of him. I have the heart that beats to thousand.

"You do so that also the people knows that behind that sacred custody of skin a book of jokes hides him." I hear the voice of Cosimo almost tell me these words as if it were here with me in this room. I let me escape even an unintentional smile.

«I/you/they have been to Perugia. A long but fundamental trip» I add then, looking for the correct words to express what I have to tell him.

«Perugia. I would like to visit her/it, I have never seen her. However the main point is that you have resolved your things» Dario tells me, doing ahead himself/herself/itself with the bust and caressing me the hands.

«You feel, I/you/they have been some one fool in the last times» it says then «I realize to have been absent because of the job. You know, we have been busy a heap of things and.»

«. The know him/it, The know him/it» The interrupts him/it «you don't have to justify you.»

«No, I have need say him/it» ago him, interrupting in turn me and taking back the reins of the discourse «we have been busy a heap of job on different yards and I/you/they have been some absentee, some too busy to. to answer to the calls of job.»

Allow me the hands, it gets up from the couch and it begins to stroll about nervous for the whole room. I remain to look at him/it, molt, to give him the possibility to speak as you/he/she has asked me, even if I would like to intervene for telling him that it is not him the guilty one.

«I would have had to understand that I was neglecting you, but I have not understood him and I have continued fearless to selfishly think about the business.»

It gesticulates with the hands and sometimes sferra harmless pugnetti on the beliefs and on the table.

«But instead I am sure that.» The to give.

«Please Carina, allow to end me» it interrupts me «I have here the whole discourse in head» it beats the finger on the forehead «excuse me, otherwise I lose the thread.»

I again settle me on the chair and immovable rest and in silence to listen to him/it.

«There is not anything that a man can justify that he doesn't know how to listen to his/her own woman» you/he/she says with conviction keeping on turning for the room «and therefore I promise you that from now on I will always listen to you, every time that you will have something to say you don't have to do me anything else other than to recall my attention.»

It almost all tells him/it of a breath.

Me ago an inexpressible tenderness. I almost have the tears to the eyes. I cannot believe to have jeopardized the relationship with this unique man that is me of forehead and that it trembles to tell me these words.

«Ok. And a man is not justifiable that thinks only to the business, to the job, that doesn't do what to be stuck to the jail cell with the clients or the workers. As you have done to bear me?» the head is held with the hands «I have risked to lose you.»

Has he risked to lose me? I become me account in this precise instant that Dario and I we have lived the same identical fear in the last times. What a pity I tell me to have wasted that time when we have been distant. Perhaps, rather than to be to kilometers of distance, in that moments we would have been able to be together and to console us to story, to speak, to communicate, rather than to seek elsewhere the truth.

«I promise you, therefore, that won't speak more than job while I will be being with you. Is there once for the job and is there once for the love, no?»

Me fixed as it was waiting for an answer, but when I am about to open mouth he starts over speaking.

«Rather, to say the truth, not only more than job I won't speak while I will be being with you, but I won't answer to some call of job anymore, while I will be being with you.»

Says this, it inserts a hand in the pocket of the pantalonis, it extracts the of it expensive his/her palmare and it launches him/it on the table. The gadget slips rapid on the wood surface and it stops him just before to reach the edge.

Rest astounded. What does it intend to say?

«That is the jail cell of job, you know well it, there is there the old card inside» he/she explains «the number to which you/they will call all the clients and the workers and the rest of the world!» it exclaims widening the braccias «but not while they are being with you. Because while I will be being with you, my jail cell of job will make this end: out and beaten by some part.»

But is it serious? Does it say indeed?

«When I will be with you, my jail cell will be instead this.»

You inserts the hand in the other pocket of the jeans and it extracts a second of it jail cell, a simple black Nokia, that seems not to have any particular functionality.

«I have picked him up in special offer, twenty-five European. Is it a jail cell to all the effects, do you know? It effects and it receives phone calls, he/she sends and it receives sms.» it tells joky tone.

«I don't have doubts that you work as a jail cell.» The almost respond laughing.

Seem me strange to see Dario with such a simple device among the hands, him that it is a type everything technological, always to the state-of-the-art one.

«I didn't have need to take one of them expensive, for that that it will serve me.» he/she explains «therefore, gives The it introduces you the only one and the alone cellular that The wills use in your presence» it declares with solemn voice, as if me same introducing to character of elevated importance «how you want us to call him/it?»

I look at him/it without succeeding in holding back a breadth smile.

«I don't know him/it. What do you think of it of Pino?»

«Perfect» it says suffocating a laughter. Then it is recomposed, it lifts the Nokia and it repeats:

«I introduce you Pino. Look now well at it, because Pino won't often make appearance, considering that on this number he will never call me anybody. It is a new number that I have taken ago only few days.» it looks me «. and that you already have because you/he/she has given him/it for you Fabio.»

Merda.

«How you know him/it?» I ask him guilty.

«Be', it is not difficult to realize him/it, since my new number you have him/it solo in.» needle of the calculations on the fingers «three. You, Fabio and my mother. The only one to have can give him/it for you it is Fabio, because it doesn't result me that you feel yourself with my mother» it says «not yet, at least» it adds then.

«But have you become crazy? And if they had to look for you for some urgency on the job and did they find your old unattainable number?» taming esterrefatta.

«Fabio is a measured secretary, that knows how to distinguish an urgency from a matter that you/he/she can be resolved later also the day. I am certain whether to have given the new number to him are enough.»

The fixed one in the eyes without believing in my ears.

«And still» it tells tall voice, to again cut out him space in the discourse «I have thought that I don't perhaps know, you/he/she could make to like you if we devoted at least one day a month. to the reading of to book.»

To the reading of a book? But is the brain drunk? What is you/he/she jumping for his head?

«Because we would ever owe?» I ask him amazed.

«The books are not perhaps your passion?»

«Yes, I am him/it, but if I force you to do this, he/she wants to say that then, another day a month, we should devote us to look at the sporting runs or the Motorbikes GP, for par condicio.»

I observe better it and with suspicious expression.

«Day the truth: you are on the point to blackmail me, it is not so?» joke.

«It would not be a bad idea!» it exclaims «thanks of the suggestion. Then awarded: one day a month we dedicate him/it to the books, another day a month we dedicate him/it to the sporting cars.»

«Oh no! The hoe I/you/they are given me on the feet!» I give back and I/you/they have never been so happy as in this moment, in this marvelous moment in which realization that Dario is here with me, that I am here with him, that Perugia has not not only brought away me nothing, but you/he/she has given more rather me. You/he/she has given me awareness, safety, love, truth.

«However you feel.» it tells me dark coming next to me and, gently grabbing me for the arm, he/she forces me to lift me «the books yes, what you want, but you cannot pretend that to trentadue years starts me taking to degree. I would have had to think of us. to dozen of years needle.»

I am red as a peperoncino. But thing devil.? How does a thing of the kind come to mind? I have never thought that.

A moment. I begin to make suspicious me.

«You have talked to Melissa and Anita, by chance?» taming him.

«Mmm, would not say.» he/she answers vague.

«But that of the degree, no. it is an idiotic thought. me not.» The stammers, in the attempt to justify me.

«It doesn't do anything» it says «and with this I would say that the list we have completed.»

The fixed one blushing. The list? I said me that there was something of relative in everything of his/her discourse.

«Which list?» taming with the almost trembling voice and with stupid pretense expression.

«This» it says, extracting a leaflet from the back pocket of the jeans.

SCALING TOWARD THE OBJECTIVE

1. To listen more

2. No job in moments of couple

3. To ask around feelings

4. Don't have / to use cellular

5. Light books

6. Possession degree

7. To give pup of dog

Be a photocopy in black and white of my original list! But as you/he/she will have done? Of sure they enter it the girls. Me those two kill her!

«Be'» I affirm on the defensive «you have to know however that something is changed, in the meantime.»

I grab him/it for the hand and I actually drag him/it in my room, where I force him/it to read the suspended Definitive List on the door.

Known that Dario attentively looks at her/it. Then he passes a hand among the hair and it wrinkles the forehead.

«But the points are depennati. Does he/she want to say that you have changed mind on everything?» ask me surprised.

«More or less.» The answers vague «and in fact it was really this that The wanted to tell you, before you began to talk to gust.» The mocks him/it.

We return in the kitchen and we allow us to fall on the couch in the same instant. It reaches me the nostrils his/her buonissimo perfume and I would feel like embracing him/it and to kiss him/it, but I feel that we are not still ready for this. There is not still something of says.

«I/you/they have been to Perugia and has happened something inside of me. Perugia has been a kind of miracle.»

My heart beats strong. How will he/she pick her/it up? It is necessary that I tell him everything, because I cannot prevent to know his truth, I cannot pretend that behind the custody of skin a Bible hides him. I am almost panting.

«There is no need that you tell me him.» he intervenes gathering me in difficulty «anything has happened to Perugia, now you macaws here. The rest doesn't count.»

Me fixed in the eyes tenderly.

«You/he/she has been an internal trip, a very beautiful, tortuous but very beautiful trip.»

Despite everything, my voice betrays a strong anguish.

«It doesn't care» it repeats him «now however you are here, it is what counts. Of anything he treats, I am certain that you have done her for a correct cause, because you had to do her/it.»

He/she doesn't want to know other. You trusts me, he/she knows that the correct thing I have done. And, after all, what I have done has brought back here me from him. Is it the only thing that counts indeed perhaps?

«However.» it gets up from the couch, theatrically prolonging the last letter «the list is complete not, The don'ts know, it misses something.»

On" it misses something" you/he/she has lifted the voice.

He/she remains in silence in the middle of the room and I don't understand what coop waiting.

«It misses something!» it repeats stronger, as if it had to try to make himself/herself/themselves feel from somebody else.

In the turn of few instants, I feel of the footsteps and of the giggles in the corridor. We are not alone? What is happening?

Everything happens so in hurry that difficulty to realize what I see in front of my eyes. Anita and Melissa have crossed the door of the kitchen howling to big voice:

«It misses the point seven!»

«Girls.» The say me, before realizing that Melissa holds in hand to dwarfish bundle, to minuscule Chihuahua, tender, with two small and black eyes that seem pearls. I let me escape a cry and I put me the hand in front of the mouth. I feel the eyes fill him with tears.

«I cannot believe us!»

I am crying.

The girls smile, Dario observes me from the center of the room. I draw near me to Melissa and I take with extreme delicacy the little dog. Can hold him/it with an alone hand! It is marroncino, it has the pointed ears and you/they have tied a small blue tassel around his neck. Look me with the wide open little eyes, is the creature sweetest that has seen never in my life, so defenseless, so small! One tear of mine bathes its mantle and him it observes me suspicious.

«Something tells that the surprise is liked her» I feel to affirm from Anita.

Dario nods.

«But were you to the current one.» The turns me incredulous to the girls «but from how much.?»

«From a few times» he/she explains Melissa «while you were being out we have had the time to plot to your shoulders!»

We burst in a laughter.

«How it will call?» Dario asks me reporting himself/herself/itself to the little dog.

«Oh, he calls Pablo» I answer definite «people, introduce you Pablo!»

I gently support Pablo on the couch and we stay all and four to admire amuses him/it. Pablo has begun to wag the tail. You/he/she is trying to get up but he/she remains entangled among the folds of the couch, every time reverting back to the. We don't succeed in tearing off his eyes of back.

«In the meantime, that you tell ago the amarena prepared correct of it of a slice of cake few times?» it proposes Melissa.

And, in the instants that follow, we are all around the table and the atmosphere it is festive. While Pablo barks bothering himself/herself/itself because he/she doesn't succeed in grabbing the bow that you/they have put around his neck, we stay sat to speak. Anita has started telling different amusing anecdotes of his/her life, inclusive some legacies to the trip to Perugia, and Dario opens in of the stupendous smiles that allow to glimpse his/her white and astute teeth.

### In this room, in this moment, in this city, there is what I could desire. There is Dario, there are my friends, there is the small Pablo. There is even my Destinies to fix me from the tall one of the shelf on the television, and it is not anything else other than mine before, special experience of publication. And, between a laughter and the other, there are the kisses of Dario, kisses to the taste of amarena, so sweets that, if I was able, I would not detach me more from his/her lips.

###

###

###

###

### 25

To have reconciled with Dario it is what it missed to finally find again my complete serenity.

I/you/they have gone in bed so yesterday with a beautiful smile, tightening me to the breast the small Pablo and thinking to how much I am the most fortunate person of the earth and to how much I have risked to send awry everything instead.

The thing that consoles more me, has to say, it is to always have sent away away from the head that ridiculous thought of power to race behind anything that dresses him of grandiose and you are sold off for" destiny." They are foolish thoughts that don't ask us the permission to enter. They enter, they put on comfortable and they insist until they don't get the due attention. They are different from the presents, of extraordinary they are dressed, they are unusual, at times indeed exceptional. They have a particular light, that can blind. Of rare and precious suits are dressed, often eccentric, they have the odor of the forbidden one and the forbidden one, their colors don't make pendant with those that are already there. And then they are great, immense and, if they arrive with the rare features of a coincidence, it is easy that they succeed in conquering us.

Is it really so great, at times, the insecurity of the man on his/her own choices? So much to be left to be crushed by the events? Do we necessarily have need of you sprout superior, of safeties, of spurs? How much is it beautiful to succeed to tener faith to his/her own choices, to say of no, to turn himself/herself/themselves before and to proceed along the road that we were crossing? Because the unbelievable events that at times they get depressed on our lives sottoforma of coincidences they make us so vulnerabilities, doing us, even, to lose the reason? There is whoever he/she thinks that the coincidences other is not that you mark of a greater destiny, signs that, if gathered, you/they can change the direction of our life.

And because the coincidences that seem particularly important to us should ever change the direction of our life? Probably, if it happens, it is because the old direction didn't allure us particularly. Nevertheless, life will put always us in front of choices that will seem us important, to alternatives, to intersections, to inviting paths. Do we want to be to change road every time there or will we succeed in walking along a rectilinear path sooner or later perhaps, astute up to the end?

I/you/they have been the whole day with the new arrival, I have systematized him a comfortable and pleasant pallet and now it is one warm afternoon and I/you/they are gone out for going for a stroll leaving Pablo with the girls.

I/you/they have entered the historical center from Door Rudiae, I have walked distracted among the people and I/you/they have arrived in Sant'Oronzo plaza. The mild temperature is pleasant on the skin and there is a lot of happy children in a scolaresca, all with the yellow bonnets, that race madly on the mosaic being well careful to shun the image of the she-wolf, because the belief wants to stamp on sfiga to bring her/it.

I still proceed some going over Mazzini plaza and arrival up to the bookstore of Giulio. Idea, has to admit, it is that to go to inform me on the account of Gem, intenzionata to find her/it and to tell once and for all her that Giulio and I have not been together never, so that to avoid further tragicomedies that sees her/it involved. But when I find here me, in the place where everything is initiated, my head crowds of thoughts.

I was here, really in this point, when Phillip had come me to the shoulders, the day of the presentation. All sure of itself, bold, you/he/she had invited me to take something to drink together.

Rather than to enter the bookstore, starts almost me toward the cafe Vanilla without realizing me of it, thinking to how much stupid has been to believe in the absurd history that had told me. To different days of distance from the known possession the truth and after having clarified with Dario, the history has assumed all other dimension in my mind. Seem even me unreal, as if you/he/she was never happened. What has dreamt?

Arrived to the cafe, I see the tavolino again where that evening is sat. You/he/she has been there that you/he/she has told me all of his/her stupidities. You/he/she has been there that you/he/she has put his/her bet into effect, while his/her friends, even sat by some part in the proximities, they laughed to my shoulders. To the thought I decidedly feel me a cretina.

Yet, I don't know why, but I don't succeed in hating him/it. I believe to be on the good road: I am forgetting everything, the wound doesn't hurt me.

I enter the cafe with the intention to order an orange juice. I wait that the barkeeper serves other clients arrived before me, meanwhile I distractedly read a flier that publicizes the opening of a new place in outskirts.

«Carina! Hi!» I hear a masculine voice above of me.

«Hi!» do I answer recognizing Francis, the holder of the cafe «how you are?»

«Everything well, apart that we are incasinati with the job, they are already there a lot of tourists» he/she returns behind the counter and it seizes a duster «but this can be positive, considered the period of crisis in which we find us. But do you feel, don't I see you from some, that end has done?»

«I/you/they have been busy. You know, the examinations, the promotion of the book.» The vaguely answer and slightly on the defensive, as The hads to give him explanations on where I/you/they have been.

«He/she listens, I have to give you a thing» it tells me lowering some the voice and looking around himself/herself/itself, as it was a secret «rather, if I/you had come ten minutes, you/he/she would perhaps have been able to give her/it for you himself.»

I look at him/it without understanding.

«Thing is?» I ask while I am grabbing the envelope that is handing me, an envelope from letters well closed and with my name above.

«I don't have idea of it. I have received only the order give not it as soon as I/you had seen yourself.»

«But who has given him/it for you?» taming in apprehension.

«A tall boy, blue eyes, accent not of the place» I feel him/it distractedly say while it is estranging from me to serve a client.

Phillip. It is the first thought that comes me to mind. Has Phillip been here? Has you/he/she left this letter for me?

«Thanks» I answer, expediting the white envelope to open me.

And it is a letter, written with an enough comprehensible calligraphy. Before reading her/it, I peer at after all the signature to the page: Phillip is written there. It is really his/her signature.

Hi Carina.

I am not good as you to write, but I need to leave you two lines before going away, otherwise I would not know whether to tell you what I have to tell you.

I won't apologize you for the fattaccio of the bet, riduttivo it would be too, the five letters of that word would play false and ipocrite. However I believe is correct to tell you as the things they are, considering that when you have come to Perugia you have not left me the time to explain you. Justly you were too stunned and I cannot forgive me for this.

The" betted" it had to stay himself/herself/themselves to a simple joke through Facebook, planned with my friends for pure fun, but with the private messages we have not succeeded in our intent and, with the sense of you/he/she would have been better then, if the thing was closed there. Instead, after a few days, you have opened the public event of the presentation and account that exactly coincided with our trip in the Salento are made there. We have accursedly thought then about continuing the joke of person to make to seem him/it more truthful.

A fool bet among friends what time I curse. However I want that you know that I am sorry a lot to have tricked you on a thing that, I had to imagine him/it, you would have taken a lot to heart.

The thing that I am sorry more than everybody, however, is not to have had the possibility to make the true Phillip know you. That evening I have begun to tell you all those stronzates what time I would like only to forget, but hand by hand that I knew you, I understood that it was concerning a big error and I has often tried to divert the discourse. After the trouble that I had combined, I have thought more times not to catch the train that evening. I wanted to return back, immediately to tell you that you/he/she was treated only of a fool game among friends, to finally disclose you my true identity and to say anchors yourself that liked me. But had you hardly ended to confess me that you were happily fiancée, therefore as I could return? How could I put in the middle of your relationship?

However then you have come to Perugia. I am me said, now it is free even, even I have conquered her heart, now we could try even to know us.

I like a lot you, Carina. And if I/you/they have come here again to Lecce, this time you/he/she has been alone for you. Because I would have liked again to speak to you, to listen to you and to be some whole.

And, however, the thing perhaps more main point of everybody is that you succeed to forgive me. Even if we won't see us more, I will always hope that that sweet girl leccese has succeeded in forgiving me.

I now have to go, I have the train among some, even if, to be sincere, would like to stay here still to the cafe to try to meet you. But unfortunately the job waits me and you don't decide yourself to come!

If I wanted to contact me, I leave you my telephone number.

I hope that Francis will give you the ticket. I trust that boy. I wish me that you will happen soon to the cafe, so he can deliver you him.

P.S. I know him/it that that whole tied up destiny to the book and the history that you have written has not happened seriously, I know him/it that you/he/she has been a whole fottuta put in scene of which I repent bitterly, but think of us, this whole history has allowed us to meet us however. A motive there will be. You that you say?

Phillip.

I lift the head from the sheet and rest for some instant to fix the void. In my head the last words that I have read boom. A motive there will be. You that you say?

«All ok?» Francis asks me while shakera a cocktail, and in that cocktails I almost see myself in this moment again; his/her admixture of ingredients against my admixture of emotions.

«From how long you/he/she has gone away?» I ask him in hurry.

«They will be maximum fifteen minutes, not more.»

«Thanks!»

I go out decided from the cafe to quick footstep. I am not racing, but I am walking to wide falcades to reach the stop of the buses. When I arrive there, aspect for some minute to be able to take the direct bus for the station.

I stay molt to fix out of the car window, I see my Lecce flow me in front of the eyes, but I have the head from everything other part, I don't succeed in admiring its wonder as I usually do.

Don't seem me true. It is not able star happening really. Be everything so unbelievable, as in a film!

I hope to arrive in time, before the train departs. It is important that I speak to him. It is important, vital. Wait me, Phillip, is arriving from you!

I have the heart in throat. I/you/they have just arrived, I/you/they have almost gone down flying from the bus and I am now racing toward the station. It is full of people, a to follow him of bus, the taxi driver they help the clients to load the baggages on their white taxis and me they finally witness the notice-board of the trains to look for his.

Here it is, binary two.

I launch me toward the underpass, and laboriously breathing I race above for the staircases that conduct per second binary. The wind is here some strong, hair arrives to me from all the parts, I try to tame them while with the look I am looking for Phillip. I turn to the right strenuously me and to the left you/he/she has perhaps been climbed on the train, it has to be this way. In which carriage it will be? I quickly walk approaching the train and I spy through the car windows lengthening the neck to mo' of giraffe. I have to find him/it, I cannot leave to depart him/it this way.

A mechanical voice announces that in five minutes the train will depart. My goodness, I will never find him/it, and even if I found him/it the time would not stay to speak to him!

The desperation pushes me to howl its name more times.

«Phillip!»

I look back me, then I continue my search through the car windows. And it is to the height of the carriage number eight that I finally see him/it. It is about to climb on the train, it is to a meter from the door.

«Phillip!» I howl by instinct.

He stops him and he turns verse of me. It smiles, it allows to fall the earth baggage, it reaches me.

«But as you have done?» he/she asks me amazed.

I take breath folding up me on myself and supporting the hands on the knees.

«I have raced, excuse, has the fiatone.»

I recompose me an instant, I push back the hair shaken by the wind and intersection his/her blue eyes.

«I have read your ticket» announcement not to lose only an instant.

«I am happy. I am not good with the words, so at least you already know what I wanted to tell you» it smiles.

«I have come for telling you an important thing» I am panting.

He doesn't speak, it waits that I/you/he/she am me to continue. Only incite me with the look. For an instant it grazes me the mind the thought that he can be ready to stay here with me, to embrace me and even to kiss me. I read him/it in his/her eyes that it would allow to go the train.

«I/you/they have come to tell you that forgives you.»

I have the short breath and I am practically talking to episodes.

«I/you/they have come to tell you that that doesn't care anymore that has happened, forgives you, I have already forgotten everything.»

Down the eyes toward the floor because I don't succeed in holding up his/her intense look.

«I thank you to have come until I have appreciated a lot here him. But I also wanted to tell you» game with a lock of hair «what. the only destiny that had united us and to have me push to look for the absurd history of the novel was you. I believed that it was a sign and I have had to deepen, but then I have understood a thing: I already have what I want.»

I am not sure of the motive for which has felt this strong, strong necessity to race here since for telling only him these words, I know only that am feeling me freed, light, a very beautiful feeling. If I were a butterfly, I would be planing fair in the middle of the sky. Hand by hand that the words go out me of mouth, it is as if they also slipped out of my body all the imbecilities that I feel to have done in these days the foolish thoughts that my mind has darkened.

«Therefore, to answer to your question on the letter, no, there is not anything else other than it unites us. But I wanted to thank you as. For everything how much.»

I know him/it that you/he/she cannot understand the meaning of this sincere thanks, but I owed him him to say. You/he/she has been him, after all, to give me this stupendous safety feeling and of awareness.

Me fixed first with interrogative expression, then as its look is stretched and returns to smile.

«There is not of what» it says without asking explanations.

The mechanical voice sent forth by the loudspeakers again announces that its train is about to depart.

«I would now owe.» it does embarrassed, pointing out the train.

«Yes, yes, obvious. I wanted to also wish you a good trip» I respond and, in the most complete embarrassment, we shake us the hand in formal way, as we were two colleagues of job or two professionals that you/they are greeted after an important lecture.

«Oh, Phillip.» The calls again it, before climbs above for the scaletta and disappears from my sight «you know, The wases thinking that even, because no, in my next novel The coulds tell our history.» The smiles at him malicious.

He reciprocates me the smile.

«I will be your first reader» it announces with fierce air.

It climbs the scaletta and I see him/it through the car window again, busy to look for his/her place to sit, asking permission to the people that obstruct the passage in the narrow corridor.

"Hi" I tell him with the labial one in an instant that turns to look for me with the look.

"Hi" it reciprocates him, and I almost have the feeling to have been able to hear his/her voice beyond the glass.

I don't wait that the train leaves again, I would not have indeed the motive of it. In few instants I have made slalom among the crowd, I have helped above a lady to portar for the staircases his/her heavy suitcase, I/you/they are left me to the shoulders the train of Phillip, I/you/they have disappeared from the second platform and I/you/they am gone out triumphant from the station of Lecce.

I go me toward the stop of the buses and, in attends him of what will bring me home, I bring a hand in the pocket of the jeans and I extract the envelope that contains the ticket of Phillip. I open almost by instinct it, I investigate his/her calligraphy, I reread his/her words with a smile and I place the eyes for some second on his/her telephone number.

Then shift the ticket, meticulously puts back him/it in the envelope, and with an instinctive and rapid gesture I throw him/it in the nearest pattumiera.

Sms to * new love num *

"I THOUGHT: AND IF WE TOOK A TRIP, ME IT IS YOU ALONE? MI SAID THAT YOU WOULD LIKE VEDERE PERUGIA, AND I HAVE SO MUCH DESIRE TO VISIT BETTER HER AND ABOVE ALL WITH YOU!"

Sms from * new love num *

"GOOD IDEA. PERUGIA È A CITY' THAT MI MISSES AND THEN YOU MI SAY THAT AGO MIRACLES! MAKE TO KNOW ME WHEN YOU WANT TO DEPART, I HAVE TO BOOK A HOTEL. A FIVE STARS IT IS ALL RIGHT FOR MY LADY? :)"

Sms to" new love num"

### "A FIVE STARS?! ME REALLY I THOUGHT MORE Á. SOMETHING' SIMPLE! WE DO WHAT OF THAT I OCCUPY ME ME. ;)"

###

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### Thanks

I thank all the people that keep on believing in me in disinterested way and sincere. Thanks, therefore, to whom doesn't need to fake himself/herself/themselves party to my successes, because it is really him/it and with the heart and it doesn't have to make some effort to show him/it.

I thank the people that have never invaded my more intimate spaces and that they know how to read me inside and to understand my affection even if not I always succeed in showing him/it.

Thanks to the people that love me for that that I/you/they am and that they show me their love in the most disparate ways; thanks therefore for the small ones and the great things that you do for me every day.

As in many by now you will know, my dream in the drawer was really that to publish. To all of you that have sustained me, to all of you that have rejoyced together with me for the realization of my dream, to all of you that follow me, that do me questions, that keep on interesting you in my passion and my writings. is to all of you that these thanks macaws turned felt with the heart!

Last, but obviously not for importance: Thanks ZeroUnoUndici!

If it goes to stay adjourned on my activities, look for me on Facebook and followed me by my official page. I wait you! :)

### The author

Simona Giorgino was born in 1986, alive to Lecce, it is graduated in linguistic mediation and for a long time it is impassioned of writing. Realized his/her dream to publish the first book, Simona keeps on writing with enthusiasm and energy, as principal objective setting himself/herself/itself that to transmit, through his/her writings, a pleasant feeling of positiveness.

"That ridiculous thought" it is the his/her according to novel.

For 0111edizioni you/he/she has also published" Jeans and chocolate", 2012.

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