Despite the recent dropouts
in the Democratic race, there
are still over 20 candidates
-running for president.
-(laughter)
Yeah. Look at all those smiling
faces-- there's too many.
So let's catch up
with the latest Democratic news
in another edition
of World War D.
-♪ ♪
-(cheering, applause)
There are only 425 days
until the presidential election.
I know,
that's not a lot of time.
It's barely enough time
to take a good shower.
I exfoliate.
And over the past few weeks,
some of the top candidates
have been out
trying to get voters, you know,
to move them up in the polls.
Elizabeth Warren made amends
with the Native American
community.
Kamala Harris pitched her
health care plans for seniors.
And Andrew Yang talked
about universal basic income
while showing off his
universally basic dance moves.
(laughter)
But it was Bernie Sanders
who made the biggest pitch
to voters, literally.
Bernie Sanders
made a campaign stop
at Iowa's Field of Dreams
baseball field.
 He hosted a game there
 in Dyersville on Monday night.
 Sanders gave a few remarks
 before the contest
 and urged his supporters
 to dream big.
If we stand together
and not allow anybody
to divide us up based
on the color of our skin
or where we were born
or our religion
or our sexual orientation,
if we stand together
for a common purpose,
we can fulfill that dream.
Now, that's how you get me
to watch baseball.
(cheers and applause)
-I'm in.
-(applause)
Yeah.
If Bernie's playing, I'm
watching all the baseball games.
'Cause the game already takes,
like, five hours.
Yeah, at least this way,
I'm learning something.
Bernie will be there, like,
(mimics Sanders):
"We can't slide into home
because the average price
of a home
has never been higher."
(laughter and applause)
(normal voice):
So...
All 20-something candidates
are out on the trail
trying to get more voters.
But one, one person,
longtime frontrunner
and longtime back-rubber,
Joe Biden,
he's trying to focus on keeping
the voters that he has.
But that might be a challenge,
considering he keeps making
worse and worse gaffes.
Joe Biden is on the defensive
after reportedly mistelling
a story on the campaign trail
about one soldier's heroism.
This guy climbed down a ravine,
carried this guy up on his back
under fire.
The general wanted me to pin
the silver star on him.
I got up there, and Stan,
this is the God's truth,
my word as a Biden.
He stood at attention,
I went to pin him,
he said, "Sir,
I don't want the damn thing.
"Do not pin it on me, sir.
"Please, sir, do not do that.
He died. He died."
TV REPORTER: But, according
 to The Washington Post,
 who spoke to more than a dozen
 military and campaign sources,
 Biden got the time period,
 the location,
 the heroic act, the type of
 medal, the military branch,
 and the rank of the recipient,
 as well as his own role
 in the ceremony wrong.
Goddam.
How do you get every single
detail of a story wrong?
Well, no,
that's actually impressive.
It's like being in
a spelling bee
and getting every letter
of the word wrong.
Just like,
"Your word is obstetrician."
"Uh, obstetrician.
"K-T-W-Six, dollar sign,
lobster emoji.
Obstetrician."
And now people used to say
that these brain farts
are just Biden being Biden.
But now, he's starting
to forget things
that he really shouldn't.
Joe Biden's public blunders, uh,
continue on.
This time, he appears to, uh,
at least for a moment,
forget former President Obama's
name at a townhall.
Because they invaded
another country,
and annexed a significant
portion of Crimea,
he's saying
that it was President...
my boss, it was his fault.
President My Boss.
He forgot Obama's name?
Guys, of all the names
to forget,
how is he gonna forget
that one?
It's practically
his campaign slogan.
How are you gonna do that?
(laughter)
And I know, I know,
you're probably thinking,
"But, Trevor, Trump forgets
things all the time."
Yeah, but he's an expert
at playing it off.
Yeah, he would be like,
(mimics Trump):
"And then of course,
the man who came before me,
"President... you know,
you know him.
"The guy, we all know the guy.
We all know.
"I don't want to say his name.
I don't want to say it."
"Obama!"
"You said it.
"You said it.
We hate him, folks.
We hate him."
(applause)
And here's the thing,
it's not just the gaffes, right,
because another issue
that's plaguing
Biden's campaign right now,
is the sentiment
amongst Democratic voters
that he may not be
progressive enough
for today's Democratic Party.
And with these increasing
frequent gaffes,
many are wondering if Biden
is the best choice.
So to quiet those doubters,
Joe Biden's wife,
Jill Biden, came out
with a simple message:
Beggars can't be choosers.
You may like
another candidate better.
But you have to look at
who is gonna win.
You know, your candidate
might be better on,
I don't know, health care,
than Joe is.
But you've got to look at who's
gonna win this election.
And maybe you have to swallow
a little bit, and say,
"Okay, I personally like
so and so better."
But your bottom line has to be
that we have to beat Trump.
Wha...?
Voters need to swallow a little
bit and say okay?
That's not
a ringing endorsement.
Eh? She's just like,
"I mean, other people
might be better, but..."
Like, uh, geez,
I wonder what her wedding vows
sounded like.
It's just like,
"I take you, Joe,
"even though Michael
was technically better,
"and-and Steve was hot,
but, I mean, you're fine.
We can make this work."
It's probably still better
than Joe Biden's vows, though.
He was like,
"And I take you, um...
"my fiancé, the woman, um...
the one in the white dress."
So, for the first time,
Joe Biden is looking vulnerable,
which means all eyes will be
on him in the next debate.
Which is just one week away
on Thursday, September 12, 2019
in Houston, Texas.
Or as Joe Biden would say,
"Monday, November 8, 1852,
in Charlotte, North Carolina."
He'll see you there.
