 
 JOHN GRAY I think there are people who 
 actually would rather see you 
 not change because they like you 
 better broken.  
 Those days are over. 
 JOHN GRAY So Tami has said she 
 doesn't like the way she's being 
 perceived based on the way she reacts to her cast 
 mates.  When they push a certain trigger.  
 MUSIC IN 
 They get a very real response. 
 So my goal today is to help 
 Tami identify some of these triggers that 
 cause her to react the way she does. 
 JOHN GRAY You've been framed as combative.  
 But you said that a lot of that really is a part of you. 
 TAMI I've been angry for a very long time. 
 JOHN GRAY So then what is the root of that 
 aggression? 
 Tell me who hurt you first, and I will 
 show you a pattern that has probably persisted.  
 TAMI I was molested. 
 JOHN GRAY How old were  you? 
 TAMI 11.  And what I'm dealing with 
 now, my mom's passing. 
 JOHN GRAY And when did she pass?  
 TAMI She passed in 2013.  
 We talked on the phone. 
 I was supposed to go see her. 
  The next morning I woke up, they were like, 
"We had to put your mom on life support."  
 So, I didn't even get to talk to her. 
 I didn't get to say anything. 
  I didn't get to, just so much.  
 And so when somebody does something to 
 me, that's what they going to get. 
 JOHN GRAY  All of that. 
 TAMI And I'm just trying to get over stuff.  
 But it just seems like every time I go, 
 get over a hurdle, then there's a new situation 
 that I feel like I didn't handle properly or 
 I was mistreated or I was abused.  
 JOHN GRAY You just hit it.  
 So many people get over.  
 But in order to get free from it, 
 you have to engage it. 
 JOHN GRAY Tami comes from the school of 
 thought of when you are faced 
 with something that is hurtful and painful, you get 
 over it.  I don't come from that school because the 
 get over it school doesn't help you to heal. 
 JOHN GRAY  I think you are at a very necessary 
 crossroads in your life, and. 
 TAMI Right. 
 JOHN GRAY You're going to have to trust 
 God because what you're expressing 
 is attention on the inside that says, 
"God, I'm not happy in this but I know 
 this.  If I let this go, what's on the other side?"  It's 
 called the event horizon. 
  MUSIC IN  
 And it's the place where you can't 
 see beyond. 
 But when you step over, you're going 
 to get to a place of healing and you will 
 finally be able to shed tears 
 of happiness saying, 
 "Now I know why I had to go through that." 
 And this is how the evolution of 
 Tami Roman will manifest.  
 She needs to go ahead and see what's on 
 the other side.  She already 
 knows what this side looks like. 
 JOHN GRAY And isn't that the question for all of us? 
  What's on the other side of not 
 allowing an old version of 
 ourselves to be the final version of ourselves? 
