I get lots of questions in through the Ask
Me Anything feature and I like to answer them
from time to time. Trinity from Houston recently
wrote in and she wanted me to talk a little
bit about introversion, about being an introvert.
So let's try that.
Yes, I'm definitely an introvert. You know
introversion and extroversion aren't biblical
categories, they are helpful terms though
in terms of expressing people who are more
outgoing or people who are more withdrawn.
I guess you could say, people who recharge
by being alone, would be introverts. They're
drained by being with people, where extroverts
tend to be drained by being alone and need
to be with people in order to recharge. So
that's probably a useful way of breaking down
the two sides. Most people are somewhere on
the scale between them, there are people right
in the middle, but most of us lean one way
or the other a little bit more. I'd say I'm
pretty significantly introverted. My safe
space or my happy place is usually being alone
with a book or something like that. A quiet
person. I can feel even awkward in social
situations or in big crowds, that kind of
thing. So yes, definitely introverted.
Yes, I think as human beings, we're always
searching around for identity. We're always
trying to land on different things, saying
this defines me. And, I want to say that introversion
is what I am. I mean, it describes who I am.
I believe God has made me introverted. It's
not sinful to be introverted. But it doesn't
define me. It's not all that I am. And what
I really meant to say by that is, I can not
use my introversion as an excuse for disobedience.
If there are things God calls me to. Say God
calls me to speak the Gospel, and I know he
does, right. That's very clear in the great
commission. I need to go and preach the Gospel
to all people. I can not allow my introversion
to be an excuse that keeps me from doing that.
It doesn't define me in such a way that I
can say, I don't have to evangelize people,
I'm an introvert. I don't have to speak to
that person, I'm an introvert. So, very clearly,
I want to say, it doesn't define me. It is
part of who I am, but not in that sense. I
think that's a very, very important distinction
for us to make.
Okay, again, so self-denial is saying, this
makes me comfortable, yet I know that God
calls me to this. And let's just turn it around,
as extroverts, you have to deny yourself too,
right. You might always want to be in a crowd,
but the Bible calls you sometimes to silence,
or to praying, to meditation, to those things.
So, it's not just introverts who struggle
with this. The Bible calls me to self-denial.
That might be on Sunday going up to somebody
in church and greeting that person. That can
be very, very difficult for me. But God calls
me to love people, to reach out to them, and
so I'm going to do that. That might be sitting
in a taxi somewhere and I'd rather just stay
quiet but yet I really think I've got an opportunity
here to speak truth to that person, to preach
the Gospel to that person. And so I'm going
to deny myself comfort and I'll reach out
to that person and tell them about Jesus,
or at least initiate a conversation. As parents,
it can be having conversations with our children
when we'd much rather be reading a book or
doing something quiet. As spouses, reaching
out and having a deep conversation with our
spouse when that can actually be hard. So
there's a hundred different ways that as introverts
we just need to say, no, this is something
I want to do out of comfort, yet I believe
God's calling me to something uncomfortable,
so I will do that in order to honor God and
serve another person.
Yes, when I first was invited to do public
speaking, I found it utterly terrifying to
stand in front of a crowd. There were a couple
of times I had to call Aileen and actually
have her talk me out of my hotel room or out
of the room I was staying in so I could go
and stand in front of a group of people. Honestly,
what I had to do was just leave it before
the Lord and say, I believe you've given me
this opportunity, I believe I have the opportunity
here to serve other people, so I'm going to.
So I'll deny myself the comfort of staying
in my room or whatever it is. I'm going to
go and serve you and trust that you'll bless
me through it. You know what I find is interesting
though, I find it easier to speak in front
of a crowd of 500 or 5000 people than a crowd
of 5 people. It's actually, in a big crowd,
it's actually easier than in a small group
of people, because it's never really awkward
when you're on a stage in front of many people,
you're sort of in control of the room, everybody's
looking at you, you can just do your thing.
It's much harder, casual conversation, social
situations, that's where I think most introverts
really run into introversion based fear. So
for me, it's much more those smaller situations,
but even then, I have to serve people. I get
the opportunity to love people. I get the
opportunity to exercise self-denial and so,
to the best of my ability, I just do.
I don't know that we gain a lot by comparing
ourselves to other people, to be honest. I
think it's better just to ask, what is God
calling me to? What does God desire of his
people? What does God demand of his people,
and how can I do those things? Well like anything
else, the longer we go before we obey, the
harder it is to obey. And so, if you really
feel that God's challenging you here, that
I'm not just introverted, I'm withdrawn. I'm
not just introverted in my personality, I'm
using that as an excuse to avoid people, or
not to express love to people. Allow yourself
to be convicted, and believe that's the Holy
Spirit convicting you and then just chose
to do something about it. Maybe that is just
greeting one person on Sunday. Set a goal;
I'm going to meet somebody new every Sunday,
I'll just march up. You know what; you'll
have some awkward situations. Who really cares?
You're doing the right thing, you're honoring
God. What's a little awkwardness or a stilted
conversation compared to the joy of meeting
somebody created in the image of God? Somebody
that God has set his love upon. Meeting that
person, welcoming that person. You probably
won't ever become an extrovert and that's
okay. It probably won't ever be easier, or
even energizing for you to be in that situation.
I don't think God's calling you to change
your personality. He does for some people.
I think God's calling you to obedience. So,
just ask, how can I obey God? What obedience
is he calling me to today, this week, next
Sunday? Set yourself some goals, and just
see what the Lord does.
