All the world's a stage
And all the men and women merely players
They have their exits and their entrances
And one man in his time plays many parts
One man in his time plays many parts, how true
Ladies and gentlemen, where better to begin our exploration
into the complete works of the greatest of English playwrights
then in Verona, Italy, with two of his most beloved characters
Romeo and Juliet
Now Adam and Reed are going to assist me
by portraying all the major characters in Romeo and Juliet
While I fill in with some bits of crucial narration
We begin with... the prologue
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents' strife.
Act 1, scene 1
in the street, meet two men, one tall and handsome
One Benvolio, the other named Sampson
Their hatred fueled by an ancient feud
For one serves Capulet, the other Montagued
Oh, it's him, I hate his guts
Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?
No sir, I do but bite my thumb
Do you bite your thumb at me sir?
No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I
bite my thumb, sir.
Do you quarrel, sir?
Quarrel sir! no, sir.
If you do, sir, I am for you: I serve as good a man as you.
No better
Yes, better
You lie
Montague
I'm twisting your hand
I'm really gonna hurt you
The prince: Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace,
Profaners of this neighbour-stained steel
You Capulet; shall go along with me:
And, Montague, come you this afternoon,
To know our further pleasure in this case
Lady Montague:O, where is Romeo? saw you him to-day?
Right glad I am he was not at this fray.
O but see he comes
Romeo he cried
Romeo he cried
I'll know his grievance, or be much denied.
Is the day so young?
But new struck nine.
Ay me! sad hours seem long.
What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?
Not having that, which, having, makes them short.
In love?
Out--
Of love?
Out of her favour, where I am in love.
Alas, that love, so gentle in his view,
Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!
Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still,
Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!
Go ye to the feast of Capulets
There sups the fair Rosaline whom thou so lovest,
With all the admired beauties of Verona:
Go thither;
Compare her face with some that I shall show,
And I will make thee think thy swan a crow.
I'll go along, no such sight to be shown,
But to rejoice in splendor of mine own.
And so much for Act 1
It wasn't that good.
Now to the feast of Capulet
Where Romeo is doomed to meet his Juliet
And where in a scene of timeless romance
He'll try to get into Juliet's pants.
O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!
Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight!
For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.
[To JULIET] If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.
Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?
Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.
O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;
Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.
Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.
Then have my lips the sin that they have took.
Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!
Give me my sin again.
Look, I don't wanna kiss you.
It's in the script!
I don't want to, you're a guy!
You kiss by the book.
Oh, coming mother.
Is she a Capulet?
Ay, so I fear; the more is my unrest.
Pretend you're not there.
What're you doing?
The balcony scene.
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.
Ok, What's in a name anyway? that which we call a nose
By any other name could still smell;
So Romeo, Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.
I take thee at thy word:
Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized;
Henceforth I never will be Romeo.
What man art thou
Art thou not Romeo and a Montague?
Neither, fair maid, if either thee dislike.
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,'
And I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove false
O Romeo,If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully.
Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear
O, swear not by the moon
What shall I swear by then?
I don't know, how about her?
Lady, by yonder blessed virgin I swear
I don't think so...
No ...
Well, do not swear: although I joy in thee,
I have no joy of this contract to-night:
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be
Ere one can say 'It lightens.
O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied
What satisfaction canst thou have?
The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine.
I gave thee mine before thou didst request it:
Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed.
If that thy bent of love be honourable,
Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow,
Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast!
Would I were sleep and peace, so sweet to rest!
Lo, Romeo did swoon with love
By Cupid he'd been crippled
But Juliet had a loathsome cousin, whose loathsome name was Tybalt
Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford
No better term than this,--thou art a villain.
therefore turn and draw.
I do protest, I never injured thee,
But love thee better than thou canst devise,
I am for you.
Oh, I am slain.
Moving right along.
From Tybalt's death onwards
The lovers are cursed
Despite the best efforts of friar and nurse
Their fate pursues them
They can't seem to duck it
And at the end of that night, they both kicked the bucket
Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds,
And bring in cloudy night immediately.
Come, night; come, Romeo; come, thou day in night;
Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow'd night,
night night night night
come come come come
I didn't write it
And bring me my Romeo!
Nurse: Ah, well-a-day! he's dead, he's dead, he's dead!
Tuck your boobies in!
Can heaven be so envious?
O Romeo, Romeo!
Who ever would have thought it? Romeo!
My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain;
Tybalt is gone, and Romeo banished;
Romeo that kill'd him, he is banished.
O God! did Romeo's hand shed Tybalt's blood?
It did, it did; alas the day, it did!
That villain cousin would have kill'd my husband:
Oh friar Laurence
FRIAR LAURENCE: Ah, Juliet, I already know thy grief;
Take thou this vial,
And this distilled liquor drink thou off;
When presently through all thy veins shall run
A cold and drowsy humour,
I feel a cold and drowsy humour running through my veins, Obi-Wan
Just say no!
O my love! my wife!
Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath,
Why art thou yet so fair?
I don't know ...
shall I believe
That unsubstantial death is amorous,
To keep thee here in dark to be his paramour?
Here's to my love!
O true apothecary!
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.
Thus with a kiss
Get over it!
I die.
Good morning, where, oh where is my love?
What's this poison, I see, hath been my true love's timeless end:
O churl! drunk all, and left no friendly drop
To help me after.
then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!
This is thy sheath;
That's Romeo for yah!
there rust, and let me die.
Epilogue
A glooming peace this morning with it brings;
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:
For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.
AND ROMEO AND JULIET ARE DEAD!!!!!!
