Elon Musk
he's an inventor,
an innovator,
and the only man with the balls to call out child rescuing paedophiles.
His scientific passion projects could be the last hope for mankind.
But is he really the messiah he appears to be
in this candle I bought on Etsy?
I’m an intern at The Feed
and I’ve been researching why everyone has such a boner for Elon Musk
when it's clear he's trying to destroy the human race as we know it
and replace us with whatever brand of lizard f**k he is.
Last year Elon amazed the world
by completing the largest solar-powered battery ahead of his 100-day deadline.
But a quick google search of the blueprints
reveal this battery is entirely powered by one sweaty guy on an exercise bike.
His driverless car technology has been praised as the future of transport.
The truth is inside each Tesla is a tiny contortionist
manipulating the engine with a bunch of pullies and levers.
I confronted one of these ‘Driverless cars’ myself.
"Alright mate, come out. I know you're in there."
"Hey!"
"Who are you working for?!"
"I'm a real journalist!"
So why hasn't anyone exposed Elon Musk?
Is it because of his gorgeous smile?
That lures you in so you never question his intentions before it's too late?
Or is it because people know what he does to his critics?
*screams*
Either way, now that the king of dark forces knows I’m onto him
it’s only a matter of time.
I’m an Intern at the Feed
and tell my wife I love her
...sister.
