 
# NORA'S VERDICT

# By

# Thabi Majabula

# Published by Thabi Majabula at Smashwords

# Copyright 2013 Thabi Majabula

# Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this free ebook. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed, this book, please encourage yourfriends to download their own copy at Smashwords.com. Thank you for your support.

This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination and should not be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons (living or dead), actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

# CHAPTER ONE

"Nora Debane, you are a murderer, and you show absolutely no remorse for the crimes you have committed. There is no proof that either of the men you murdered ever did you any wrong. You murdered them in cold blood, because you have bloodlust," said the judge.

Nora looked at the judge without expression. Standing at five foot ten, with a shaved head, a medium complexion, and of medium build, she towered over her lawyer.

"You are sentenced to two life times in jail, with hard labour!" continued the judge. Nora heard the sentence, and looked down. It was worse than she had expected, but she had known things were going that way.

"Do you have you anything to say for yourself?" asked the judge. Nora did not look at him, or respond.

"Get that murderer out of my court," the judge said with disgust. Nora was escorted out of the court room with photographers vying to take her picture. She did not acknowledge them as she was led to a police car, and driven away.

She stared unseeingly out of the window, but she smiled when she saw children playing on their way from school.

"You won't get your hands on them," said the policeman that was with her.

"I wouldn't want to. I'm just wondering when I was last that carefree. As long as I can remember, I've been afraid of something or someone. They look like they aren't afraid, I wish I had that. I don't even ask for a whole day of not being afraid, fifteen minutes would be fine."

They arrived at the holding cells.

"We have to transfer you at once to the maximum security prison," said a warder. Nora picked up the few belongings that she was allowed, then she was escorted to a transfer van.

"Where are the others?" she asked.

"Just get in," said a warder. Nora climbed in and sat down. She thought it odd that she was not chained to the van, and that the chains that had been on her legs and feet were removed. She opened her mouth to ask why that was being done, and the warder frowned at her. She closed her mouth.

The door was closed and locked. Soon afterwards, the truck started moving. Nora closed her eyes. After some time, she opened them, the van had stopped. She waited for someone to let her out, but nothing happened. She felt cold, and heard animals. She pounded behind the driver's seat, nothing happened. She went to the door and tried it, it opened easily. She almost stepped out of the van, then she felt an urge to not do that. She closed the door, and tried to get as comfortable as possible.

She was woken by a light shining on her face.

"What's the matter with you? Why didn't you leave?" demanded a female voice. Nora covered her face, and sat up. The light was removed from her face, she saw a silhouette standing before her.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"You're going to prison, you stupid woman! You were given an easy way to leave, but you refused to take it. What is wrong with you? Why didn't you get out of here?" demanded the woman before her.

"Can we go to the prison now?" she asked.

"You want to go to prison?"

"I'm not going to live my life on the run." The woman made a sound of disbelief, then she sat down. There was a small silence.

"Look, Nora, I know all about male pigs doing what they want to us women, and getting away with it. I admire you for killing those that hurt you. I wish I'd had the guts to do that. My kids were taken from me by the man who abused me sexually, verbally and physically, just because I married him. I arranged for you to escape, because in my book, and in the books of many women and some men, you don't deserve to be punished for protecting your rights. Do you know how much trouble we went through to make this happen?" asked the woman.

"No, I don't," said Nora.

"Well, it was a whole lot of trouble, and we don't appreciate your wasting this opportunity! Many people worked with me to make this happen, and we will not be denied! You are going to get out of here, get out of the country, and disappear, so you can live your natural life in freedom! Do I make myself clear?" shouted the woman. Nora sat back wondering if she was being trapped so that she could be shot as soon as she climbed out of the van, or if she was dreaming.

"I'm talking to you!" said the woman.

"I'm not running," said Nora.

"You better run, woman, unless you want me to shoot you."

"Shoot!" shouted Nora. She could hear herself and the woman breathing heavily.

"Why are you wasting this chance? Lots of people would give their right arm and leg for it."

"I'm not running," said Nora. She felt her heart beat increase, she could hear it in her ears, as she heard a gun cocked.

Please help me. I know you hate me, and that I'm going to hell, but not now, please, she prayed. She had stopped praying when god had not heard her, when she had asked him to stop her stepbrother from hurting her at night, just after she had started school.

She heard a gunshot and gasped, covering her head and closing her eyes. Feeling no pain, she uncovered her head and opened her eyes. The woman was no longer sitting where she had been.

"Hello?" said Nora. There was no response, she crawled to where the woman had been and felt about for her, thinking that she had shot herself, and was bleeding on the floor of the van. There was no body. She heard dogs barking, and running footsteps. Lights suddenly shone into the van from outside. Nora hid her face behind her hand.

"Hands up!" shouted a voice. Nora closed her eyes, and raised her hands. She felt a heavy blow on her cheek, and fell onto her side.

"Where are they? Where are your accomplices?" demanded a voice. Nora nursed her jaw, she felt wetness, and realised that she was bleeding.

"Where are your accomplices?" she heard. She sat up, and received another blow on the side of her head.

"I'm talking to you!" shouted the voice. Nora fell onto her side, she sat up quickly, knowing that staying down would make her more vulnerable. She heard the wind as a weapon came towards her, and moved out of its way. She heard a thud, as the weapon landed on the floor.

"Beat her!" shouted someone. Nora moved quickly, and felt a blow to the head coming from the side that she was going towards. She fell, picked herself up quickly, and worked on listening for the weapons that were meant to hurt her. She evaded several blows, now coming from three sources, but some blows landed on her.

"What is going on here?" bellowed a voice. Everyone stilled and looked at the entrance to the truck. The lights were too bright to see anything but a silhouette.

"Answer my question!" shouted the bellower.

"This prisoner planned her escape and..." said one of the people in the truck.

"She planned her escape? Are you saying the system you have in place is that easy to penetrate?"

"No! Sir! This prisoner..."

"When did she plan her escape?"

"Yesterday."

"Then why is she still in the transfer van, and not at large? Did you catch her and bring her here?"

"No..."

"Then how did she get here?"

"We found her here."

"So she planned her escape, and didn't leave? Is that what you're saying?"

"Sir..."

"Answer my question!"

"This woman..."

"She was in the van when you got here?"

"Yes, Sir."

"So she escaped and came back?"

"Sir..."

"Why would she come back?"

"Er..."

"Prisoner!"

"Yes, Sir," panted Nora.

"Did you plan to escape?"

"No!"

"Then why did the van not reach its destination? It's been unaccounted for for twelve hours!" said someone in the van.

"If I'd planned my escape, twelve hours would have been enough for me to have vanished," said Nora.

"Then why didn't you?" demanded the bellower, who was clearly the leader.

"I didn't plan the escape. When the van stopped, I was asleep, when I woke, I was alone. I stayed here because I don't want to run." There was a silence.

"Take the prisoner to her new prison," said the leader.

"She's lying! You can't believe her. Her driver must have bailed out on her or something," someone said.

"I said, take her to her new accommodation."

"But..."

"Are you questioning me?" demanded the leader.

"No, Sir."

"Do I need to repeat my instruction?"

"No, Sir." Nora was grabbed by two people, one on each side, and made to sit down with the two people keeping her in place. The truck was closed up, and it started moving a few minutes later. Nora felt her hands cuffed to each person beside her, then she was beaten by her companions, and verbally assaulted, until she passed out.

# CHAPTER TWO

When she woke up, she was in a strange place. She sat up, she was in prison. Her face and belly hurt. She felt her face, it was swollen. Her cell door opened, food was brought in, then she was left alone. She was glad that she was able to get up and clean herself up in the small bathroom.

Over the next few days, the person bringing her food was the only person that she saw. Occasionally, someone that she assumed was a nurse came to check on her. She lost all track of time. Eventually, she was released from what she assumed was solitary confinement, and allowed to eat and exercise with the other prisoners.

"Why didn't you run when you had the chance?" asked several prisoners.

"I don't run," Nora said curtly.

She watched the inmates closely to establish the pecking order. While she had been in solitary confinement, she had decided that she had to get herself killed, by the prisoners, as she had no intention of spending years in jail. She would have to get on the wrong side of the head prisoner and be killed by her, or by someone else. In order to attract the wrath of the head prisoner, she refused to do the work that new inmates were expected to do.

Several inmates warned her that she was courting trouble, but she did not listen. Several times, she was beaten very badly, but she would not change her ways. She lost count of the number of times that she was in the nurse's office, having her bruises attended to. She wondered why all that had been broken was skin. She had hoped for bones to be broken, or to catch an infection from her wounds, but that did not happen.

The head prisoner cornered her.

"You think just because you planned a failed escape, you can come here and do as you please, huh?" the woman demanded. Nora continued with her dishwashing chore.

"I'm the boss here, and everything that happens, happens because I okay it. No one breathes unless I want them to breathe. Do you want to stop breathing?" demanded the woman. Nora did not respond. The woman punched her, and she fell. She picked herself up, and returned to the sink. The woman punched her again, and again, until they were on the floor. Nora closed her eyes, and did not fight back as she willed the woman to hit something vital and kill her.

As suddenly as she had started, the head prisoner stopped. Nora sat up. The head prisoner was twitching beside her. Nora looked about, there were several warders surrounding them, one was standing over the head prisoner, a tazer in her hand, she had obviously incapacitated the head prisoner with it.

"What's going on here?" asked a man. Nora remembered his voice from the night that she had been accused of trying to escape from the transport van. He had been the leader of the prison staff and he had told them to take her to the maximum security facility. He was about six foot one, broad shouldered, and dark in complexion, with a commanding presence.

"Nothing," said Nora, as the other woman could not speak.

"Get up," continued the man. Nora stood.

"Was she beating you?" he asked.

"We were fighting," replied Nora.

"You know that fighting is not allowed?"

"Yes."

"Yes, what?" demanded the man. Nora looked at him questioningly.

"Yes, Sir," a warder whispered to Nora.

"Yes, Sir," she said tiredly.

The warders and the man left, Nora finished the dishes and decided on a hunger strike. She did not understand why the prisoners had not killed her. The authorities were also not harassing her about her so-called failed escape, and the fights that she had been involved in.

She had been on hunger strike for two days, when she was told to go and see the head warder. In the head warder's office, was the leader who had been at her capture when she had been accused of trying to escape. The head warder introduced him as Head of Correctional Services, General Mkhuba. She and the general greeted each other, then the general asked the head warder to leave. The head warder left.

"Sit down," said the general. Nora sat down.

"Why aren't you eating?" he asked. Nora did not respond.

"It is customary to respond, when asked a question."

"I don't have an appetite," said Nora.

"You need to eat. You do realise that you are here doing hard labour?"

"Yes."

"Then you need energy to do your work." Nora looked away from the general, and noticed the view outside the window.

"This is a nice view," she said.

"Yes, it is," said the general. He was suddenly standing behind Nora. She moved quickly, standing a few steps away from him. She glanced at him, he was watching her. The silence in the room stretched. Nora started to feel nervous. She looked away from the general as her heart pounded in fear. She did not need problems from the authorities. She tried to think of a way to ask him what he wanted, but she did not want to annoy him.

Her knees gave way, she returned to her seat. The general returned to his seat, and continued to watch her.

"Can I go now?" she asked.

"No."

"Oh."

"Why are you on hunger strike?"

"I want to die."

"Do it in your own space and time, not in my prison. You have to start eating, and if you don't, I'll have you force-fed. No one is dying in my prisons, or on my watch."

"Can I go now?"

"You will go when I say so."

"What do you want?" demanded Nora. The general was surprised, then he laughed. He laughed so hard that tears ran down his cheeks, and he looked as if he was going to fall off the chair. Nora looked at the door as it opened from outside. The head warder had a concerned expression on her face. The general waved her away and she closed the door. The general calmed down, and used a handkerchief to clean his face.

"I haven't been spoken to like that in a long time. The last person who did that was my mother. She's dead," he said.

"Oh," said Nora, visualising him killing his mother.

"I didn't kill her," said the general.

"Of course not," said Nora.

"You think I killed her."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do." Nora looked down, then she looked at him.

"Yes, I do," she said.

"Why would you think that? You don't even know me."

"You're a man, in power. In my experience, men in those situations hurt and kill at will, and get away with it."

"I didn't kill my mother, she died last year, she was ninety years old."

"Oh."

"Why do you want to die?"

"What?" asked Nora, thrown by the question.

"You heard me."

"Well, what am I living for?" asked Nora.

"I'm asking the questions."

"I want to die because I should never have been born. I never met my father, I grew up in my stepfather's house, and I was abused sexually from the day I arrived. After that, every man I met wanted to give me what was due to me through sex, whether it was a job, or a pass mark, or anything else."

"Did the two men you killed want that too?"

"Ask the cops who investigated."

"I'm asking you." Nora gave the man a long look. He was not trying to get her to have sex, nor was he in a position to use what she told him against her. The only thing he could do was kill her, and she wanted to die anyway.

"They told me to service them sexually, if I wanted to keep my job," she said.

"What did you say?"

"I said no! What else could I have said? Anyway, soon after that discussion, things started going wrong, the clients started avoiding me, or screaming and shouting at me for no reason. By the end of the week, I was fired, on the pretext that the clients hated me, but they had loved me for the six years prior to that." Nora was quiet thinking about her job, and how much she had loved it, it had been the one bright spark in her life.

"What happened?" asked the general. Nora was startled to hear his voice.

"I told them I was going to do what they wanted, so I had sex with them. They didn't give me my job back, they said I had to sleep with them more times. I did, several times. One time, I arrived early for a meeting with them, and heard them talking about how they were getting free sex, when they were never going to give me back my job," said Nora, then she paused, reliving how cold her blood had become on hearing those worlds.

"And then?" asked the general.

"Then, I went to the lift, and rode to the ground floor. I'd planned to leave, until I saw a security guard. I hadn't planned to steal his gun, but I was there, it was there, so I took it, and used the lift to get back to the room where the men were. I entered without knocking. They turned to look at me, startled, then they relaxed, and one of them said to the other that the whore was there. I shot him in the head. The other one looked at him in horror, then he looked at me.

"He stood, and said we should talk. He said the job was mine, as promised. I told him I knew his niece was doing it. He started sweating. I asked him if I was a whore, he said no. I said I had heard him call me that, he denied it. I shot at him, he ducked and screamed. I told him to shut up, unless he wanted to join his father. He quieted."

"And then?"

"I heard running footsteps. I shot him in the head, when he fell, I shot him and his father on their dicks."

"How did that make you feel?" Nora started at the man in shock.

"What does that have to do with anything? I'm a murderer, no one cares what murderers think or feel," she said.

"You haven't answered my question."

"I felt...I felt...I felt strong. For the first time in my life, I felt strong, and like I could take care of myself, and make decisions for myself, without sex coming into the equation," she said, as if she had just become aware of her feelings.

"What happened after that?"

"The security guard whose gun I'd stolen came into the room with several people. He screamed that I was going to jail, then he hit me."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. I should have fought back, that way, he'd have shot and killed me, then I wouldn't be here. I don't regret killing those two, and if I were free, I'd go and kill my stepbrother, and every other man who...enough about that, I'll only get out of here in a coffin," said Nora. She smelt food, and realised that she was hungry. There was a long silence.

A warder brought food for the general. He looked at the food, then at Nora. She had looked at the food, and looked away, telling herself that she wanted to die, and that she was not going to be as weak about dying as she had been at living, where she had been a victim all her life.

"Would you like to join me?" asked the general. Nora looked at him.

"Eat with me," he said.

"No, thanks. Can I go now?" asked Nora, getting to her feet.

"No!" Nora sat down again. The general put food on two plates, and put a plate before her. She stared at the food as her mouth salivated. The food before her was fit for a king, not the usual prison food. She swallowed several times, then she remembered why she was starving herself.

"You are not going to kill yourself," the general said softly. Nora looked at him. No one had spoken to her that softly, without menace, ever. They shared a long look, then the general started eating. Nora sniffed, taken by surprise by her urge to cry. She cursed herself for deciding to cry then. She had not shed a single tear since she had been sixteen years old. Now, thirty years later, she was crying. She cursed, begged, pleaded with herself to stop, but the tears would not be stopped.

She sobbed, great, big, ugly, noisy, messy sobs, the type that Ma had shed whenever her husband had said horrible things to her. Nora reminded herself that she had vowed never to be like Ma, but that did not help. Eventually, the sobs stopped. She cleaned her face with the sleeves of the prison garb that she was wearing. She waited for the general to say something, but there was endless silence. She looked up, he was not sitting at his desk, he was looking out of the window, his back to her.

She realised that he had not eaten, he must have stood to give her privacy. She wanted to thank him, but she did not know how. After a silence, he returned to his seat.

"Eat your food," he said. Nora ate hungrily, and finished the food that he had given her. He put more food for her, and she finished that too. When he offered her more, she declined, and thanked him. He drank some juice, and offered her his glass. She looked from it to him.

"Take it," he said. She took the glass, and drank the juice thirstily. He poured more juice for her, and she finished that too, then she put the glass down.

"Thank you," she said.

"You can go now," he said. Nora gave him a last look, and left.

Outside the door, the head warder called her. As Nora approached her, the general called her. Nora was relieved that the head warder would not have time to question her about her interview with the general. She did not know how she was going to describe what had happened.

At dinner, several of the head prisoner's henchwomen sat beside her.

"What happened with the general? We hear you were crying in there. What did he do to you?" one of them asked. Nora looked at them uneasily.

"You all know what he did, he told her what a wicked murderer she was, and reduced her to tears," someone said. The women started talking about their experiences with the general, and forgot about asking Nora about her experience. She was relieved.

Over the next few days, she expected the warders and other prisoners to question her, but there was an attempted escape on the one day, an attempted break-in on another, and then the warders went on strike. There was no time for anyone to ask her anything. The warders' strike was resolved after a week. By then, everyone, but Nora, had forgotten about the general's visit to her.

She spent hours going over her time with him, wondering what he had wanted, and wondering why she had cried, when he had done nothing terrible to her. She admitted to herself that she kept reliving the incident because he had been kind to her.

She thought about going back on hunger strike, and decided against it, for the general's sake. He had been kind to her, she would be kind to him. She decided to antagonise the head prisoner again. She needed to insult her so badly, that she would kill her immediately.

She was thinking about how to go about it, when the head prisoner became sick and died in less than a day. Her lieutenants fought it out to decide the next leader, and the most brutal one emerged as leader. Nora baulked at taking her on. No one in their right mind would mess with someone that mentally twisted. Nora decided that she would need another plan.

Some weeks later, the head warder called her into the office. Nora knocked, and opened the door when she was invited to, then she stepped back, shocked to see many people with the head warder. There were cameras, reporters, and other head warders. She was pushed in by a warder, then the door closed behind her. The head warder greeted her, she greeted her back, and greeted everyone else. The head warder invited her to sit down. She looked about at the people in the room, then she walked to the seat that a warder had indicated.

"Nora, you are being released today," said the head warder. Nora drew back, shocked.

"I don't understand," she said.

"You've been given a Presidential pardon."

"What?" asked Nora, as her heart pounded.

"Those two men you killed were involved in very dangerous things. They were plotting to overthrow the government, among other things. Your act of killing them was wrong, but your circumstances, and the fact that you saved the President's life when you killed them, has led to your being pardoned." Nora stared at the head warder, then she looked round the room. Everyone was watching her. She looked back at the head warder, then she stood and turned to the door.

"Where are you going?" asked the head warder.

"Back to my chores. I don't know what game you're playing, Ma'am, but it's sick. Excuse me," said Nora, approaching the door. A warder prevented her from leaving.

"Sit down," she said firmly. Nora returned to her seat. The head warder gave her a document, it was a letter from the President, with the Presidential seal, thanking her for saving his life, and granting her freedom. Nora read it again, certain that she was hallucinating.

"You'll collect your personal effects, and be signed out within the next fifteen minutes," said the head warder. Nora tried to speak, but words failed her.

"Come," said a warder. Nora followed her out. She was allowed to change out of the prison clothes to her own clothes, then she was signed out and released.

# CHAPTER THREE

She stood outside the prison walls, wondering what had happened. The warders at the gate had no interest in her at all. She walked away wondering where she would go, and what she would do.

Exhausted after a long walk, she sat down. A car drew up beside her. One of the back doors opened.

"Hi, Nora," said a voice. Nora opened her eyes wide. That was the voice that had told her to leave the transfer van the night that she had been accused to trying to escape her transporters.

"Come in. Come in, Nora. Do you want to die in this sun? There's nothing for the next hundred kilometres, no water, no homes, nothing. Come in," said the woman. Nora stood, sidled up to the car, bent, and peered inside.

"Come in," said the beautiful woman in there. Nora climbed in, the door closed and the car drove off quickly. Nora regretted getting into the car. She was being kidnapped, and terrible things would be done to her.

"Don't be afraid, you're safe," said the woman.

"Where are you taking me?"

"To a safe place. You'll be able to get on with your new life there."

"My new life?"

"I'll explain when we get there. Excuse me, I have to make a call." The woman was on the phone for a long time, then the car stopped. The woman beside Nora climbed out of the car, Nora followed her out. They were in a townhouse complex.

"Come," said the woman. Nora followed her into one of the units.

"This is a spacious two bedroom unit, it's part of your work package. You also have a company car," said the woman, showing Nora round the unit.

"What job are you talking about? And who are you?" asked Nora.

"I'm Belinda Simon. I'm work with DDR Logistics, that's who you work for," said the woman.

"I've never heard of them, and I didn't apply for a job with them," said Nora.

"True, but don't you need a job?"

"Well..."

"Yes, you do, and you have one. You can always leave if you don't like it, but you do have to go to work on Monday. That gives you a week to rest. Here's the address, and here's the card of the human resources person you'll see when you get there."

"Who arranged all this?"

"Does it matter?"

"Will those people hire me, knowing I'm a double murderer?"

"You're already hired, and yes, they know your history. They don't care about that, they only care that you do your job properly." Nora nodded.

"Can I send the President a thank you note?" she asked.

"Knock yourself out. There's some money in that drawer for your expenses. Try not to finish the fuel in the car, it's for work. These are your car keys," said Belinda, putting them in Nora's hand.

"I have to get back to work. Bye, and good luck," said Belinda, then she left. Nora looked about the lounge where she was standing. It was tastefully furnished. What position did she have, to get a company car and accommodation? She decided to have a bath, and relax.

After two days, she was bored. Finding that she had a computer with internet, she googled the company that she would be working for. There was basic information, but not much about who owned it. Did the owner know that a murderer had been hired? She browsed aimlessly, then her heart thudded hard when she googled her stepbrother and his information came up.

He was running a very successful company, and he was married, with three daughters, two grandsons, and a young stepdaughter. Nora sat for hours staring at his family pictures on Facebook. She thought about going to kill him, then she decided that she was not returning to prison. She would have to find some other way to get even with him.

She googled her stepfather, he had died six years before. Nora would have wanted to hurt him, for her mother. She had died a broken woman because of his mean words, and how he had belittled her in public, and denied her money whenever she had gone against his wishes. Nora wondered why her mother had not left sooner. Furious with herself for thinking about the past, she took a drive around the neighbourhood. It was a very upmarket place. She wondered how much she would have to pay in rent for her new home.

Next day, she went to buy clothes, the money did not get much, but what she did get was enough to start off with. Over the weekend, she spent her time watching movies on TV.

Monday arrived. She dressed, and left home at half past six in the morning, in order to get to work on time. She made it, then she was introduced to the human resources head, David. He showed her round the office, gave her a job description, gave her a copy of her work contract to read and sign, and then Lauren, her head of department, asked her to come and start work immediately, as someone was not coming in that morning.

The day went quickly, then it was time to go home. Nora was amazed as she drove home, that she had loved her new job. She was unfamiliar with the work, but the people were helpful, and seemed to want her to succeed. Over the next two weeks, she became more accustomed to the work, and started working independently.

Payday arrived and Nora was surprised by how generous her salary was. She called Belinda to find out how to pay rent.

"That townhouse comes with the job, Nora, you don't pay a thing for it," said Belinda. Nora decided that she had to give thanks. She decided to go to a traditional spirit medium, and ask that her mother, her grandparents, and all her ancestors be told how grateful she was for the luck that they had thrown her way. She gave the traditional spirit medium a quarter of her salary by way of thank you, and felt good about it.

She did some shopping for clothes, shoes, and food, and a thank you gift for the President. She ended up buying him a painting of women in the rural areas, fetching water, with the setting sun in the background. She had the gift boxed, then she attached a card to it, and posted it to the office of the president. Relieved to have that out of the way, she looked at investment options. This time round, she was going to have plenty of money available, in case she needed more lawyers.

After six months, she was very happy at work, feeling as if she had done that job all of her life. Belinda arrived out of the blue.

"We need to talk," she said. Nora finished her work for the day, and followed Belinda to their talk venue. It was a huge house. Belinda led Nora into the house, then she left her alone. The staff brought drinks, Nora thanked them, and they left her to wait for Belinda. She heard footsteps, then she stood.

"General Mkhuba?" she said.

"I'm not a general anymore, I retired," he said.

"Oh."

"Sit down." Nora sat down, then he sat down.

"Are you not drinking your juice?" he asked.

"I was waiting for Belinda."

"She left."

"She said we needed to talk."

"It's me that needs to talk to you."

"Oh."

"Drink?" Nora poured two glasses of juice, put one before the general, and gulped hers down, before pouring a second glass, and sipping on it slowly. The silence stretched. She looked at the general, he was watching her intently. She put down her glass, feeling nervous.

"I'm looking for a wife," he said. Nora eyes widened.

"What's wrong with the one you have now?" she asked.

"I was divorced eight years ago."

"Oh. Why tell me that you want a wife?"

"I don't want, so much as need, a wife."

"Why tell me?"

"I want you to be my wife." Nora stared at him in shock.

"That is crazy! You know my history, no one who wants to hold their head high would marry me," she said.

" _I_ want to marry you."

"Why?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, because I don't want to have to kill you when you do terrible things to me."

"I won't do terrible things to you."

"All men do things to women." The general moved from his seat, and sat beside Nora.

"The only things I do to you will bring you joy and pleasure," he said. Nora's heart thumped hard, she wanted to believe him. She frowned, telling herself to get real. She looked away from his brown, alluring eyes, and took a deep breath.

"It would never work. I'm a killer, I'm too old to make babies, I don't like or trust men, and we don't know each other. Marry Belinda."

"She's already married," said the general.

"Why do you need a wife?"

"My children need a mother," he said.

"And you think a murderer is the right candidate?"

"You are not a murderer!" he shouted. Nora was surprised by his outburst.

"I want my children to have a mother," he continued.

"General, I've never been a mother."

"Didn't you have a child once?" Nora drew away from him, not wanting to think about that terrible time.

"I don't mean to hurt you," said the general.

"Then why did you bring it up?"

"Consider my children your chance to be a mother. Did you want to be a mother?"

"No! Yes! I don't know, okay? I don't know."

"You can find out with my children."

"No! I have to go," said Nora, and she left.

She was at work the following week, when she and her department head, Lauren, got into an argument. Nora made her point, convinced that she was in the right.

"What do you know about this job? You've only been at it for six months, I've been doing it for twenty years. If you weren't sleeping with the owner of this business, you wouldn't even be in this job," said Lauren. Nora was outraged.

"I did not sleep with anyone to get this job!" she gasped.

"Then how did you get it? It's a very powerful job that most people get to do only after ten years in the field, you got it with no experience. How do you explain that?"

"I..."

"We all know you sleep with Mkhuba. That might have gotten you the job, but it won't keep you in it," said Lauren, then she walked off. Nora looked about, everyone was looking at her. They returned to work, she returned to her office. She continued to work, but every so often, Lauren's words returned to her mind. She phoned Belinda and asked to meet her. They met for drinks in a restaurant.

"Who owns the company I work for?" asked Nora. Belinda stopped mid-sip to look at her closely.

"Why do you ask?" she returned.

"Does general Mkhuba own it?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I was accused of sleeping with him to get my job. Does he own it?"

"Yes."

"Why did he give me the job?"

"You'll have to ask him. Excuse me, I need to get home." Nora asked herself over and over again, why Mkhuba would have given her the job, but she found no answer. That Friday evening, she drove to his home, and rang the doorbell. Waiting for the door to open was torture. Finally it was opened.

"Come in, Mama," said the housekeeper.

"Is general Mkhuba in?"

"Come in, please." Nora entered the house, and was led to the lounge.

"I asked if..." she said.

"Mr Mkhuba's out, but he said if you ever came here, we should let him know, and he'll return immediately."

"Forget it, I should have made an appointment."

"Why should you make an appointment with a man you're going to marry?"

"What?" asked Nora, shocked by the housekeeper's words.

"You and Mr Mkhuba are getting married. You can't know how glad we all are that the children will finally have a female role model that they have to respect. I'll phone Mr Mkhuba, and bring you tea. Please, sit, Mama."

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

"You'll be marrying our boss, we have to call you Mama. I'll tell the children you're here, they always think their father's joking when he says he'll bring them a mother. Excuse me," said the woman, then she left.

Nora was furious. How dare that man tell people that they were getting married! She had not agreed to marry him! Three boys entered the room, ranging between the ages of ten and sixteen.

"Hello," she said, as they watched her as if she was a movie.

"I said, hello," she said crossly. They returned her greeting.

"Sit down, don't stand over an adult," she said, and the boys sat down.

"Why are you staring at me?" she demanded.

"Are you really going to marry our Papa?" asked the youngest boy.

"Of course she is, your Papa told you that many times," said the housekeeper, bringing refreshments. She introduced herself as Hilda, and her assistants as Doretta and Theresa. Doretta gave Nora and the boys hand-washing water, as Theresa poured out the tea. Hilda closed the curtains, then she switched on the light, and she and her assistants left.

Nora could not eat, she was wondering what game Mkhuba was playing. She had thought that he was a nice man, but she was obviously mistaken, he was like all men, out to take from a woman.

"Why are you marrying Papa?" asked the eldest boy. Nora looked at him.

"What are your names, I believe you know mine," she said.

"I'm Peter, that's Allen, and Gabriel is the eldest," said the youngest boy.

"Why are you marrying Papa?" insisted Gabriel. Nora opened her mouth to speak.

"Boys, excuse us," said Mkhuba, entering the room.

"Are you marrying her?" asked Peter.

"Excuse us!" said Mkhuba. The boys took their food and left. Mkhuba closed the lounge door, and went to sit opposite Nora.

"What's going on here? Who said I was marrying you? And why do the people at work think I slept with you to get my job?" demanded Nora.

"I don't know why they think you slept with me at work. No one said you were marrying me, it's just that..."

"Just what?"

"I hoped you'd marry me."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because it would be good for both of us."

"By what stretch of the imagination?"

"It wouldn't be a stretch, we're both lonely, we could keep each other company."

"Why did you give me a job?"

"I thought you needed the money, and the company did need someone to do the job you're doing. I think our marriage would give the boys stability, and maybe help you to stop hating men. I'd never do anything to displease you, I want you to feel good about being with me, I don't want you ever thinking I'm taking from you, or taking advantage of you. You'd be good for the boys, you needn't see yourself as their mother if you don't want to, you could just be another authority figure."

"Do you hear yourself? You are not making sense!"

"Nora, marry me, please. The boys need stability. Their mother will take them overseas to live with her and her Canadian husband, unless I can provide them with a mother figure that I'm married to."

"General..."

"Call me Joshua."

"Joshua, I'm not the person to do this with you. Your wife will take the kids anyway if you marry a jailbird."

"You are not a jailbird! You were pardoned!"

"You know what I mean."

"What I do know, is that we can help each other to heal, and be a great parent unit for the children."

"How can you know that? We don't even know each other!" The general knelt before Nora, and took her hand in his.

"Marry me, Nora, please," he said. Nora freed her hand and stood.

"The mother of the boys leaves in a month, I have to be married by then," continued the general, as he stood.

"Find someone else."

"I only like you."

"You have to..."

"Nora, please. I like you, you're gutsy, you know who you are, and you're honest. All those are qualities I admire, and that I'd like my boys exposed to."

"They'll be laughed at for having a murderer as a stepmother."

"You were pardoned."

"Still..."

"This is the boys' home. I don't want them going to a foreign land, and growing up without the values of their ancestors."

"Is this the payment you want for giving me the job?"

"No! I don't want to be paid for that! I don't want you paying me for anything."

"Then what do you want? What could you possibly want to marry me for?"

"The boys."

"I don't buy that."

The general went to pour himself some juice. He gulped three glasses down, then he sat down. Nora returned to her seat.

"My mother killed my father, because he abused her. His family burnt her in her hut. She survived," he said. Nora gasped.

"I was ten. I couldn't defend her, I couldn't help her, I couldn't take her away. Your case brought all those memories back. At first, I watched from a distance. Later, getting to know more about you from your psychological profile, I felt as if you were my mother."

"I'm not," said Nora.

"I know that. The difference is that I could help you, so I did. I looked into the past of the men you killed and got evidence that persuaded the President to free you."

"Oh! Thank you."

"I can sleep now, knowing that I manned up, and helped someone, even though it was too late for my mother. I think our marriage will help me to treat you as kindly as I wish my mother had been treated, and it will help you to see that not all men are dogs."

"Maybe I don't want to see that."

"You know I'm not a dog and that I'd never hurt you."

"I..."

"I want to help you to heal. I want to spend the rest of my days raising my sons, and ensuring that I make it up to my mother."

"I'm not her."

"If you were, I wouldn't ask you to marry me."

"I can't marry you."

"You have no husband."

"Too right, what would I want with a husband? My mother's marriage showed me that no woman should bother getting married."

"I'll be kind to you."

"Talk is cheap."

"You know my talk is not cheap."

"I'm still not marrying you!"

"Think about it, and let me know. If you don't marry me, I'll have to throw myself on Belinda's sister."

"She must be beautiful."

"She is, she's also a gold digger. She'd kill me, send the boys from their home, and spend all my money within six months."

"What makes you think I won't do the same?"

"You don't want to go back to prison."

"True, but my staying out is not dependent on my marrying you, is it?"

"Of course not." They shared a long look. Nora looked away, feeling a very strong liking for the general.

"I have to go," she said, getting to her feet. The door opened.

"Dinner's ready. Come, Mama," said the youngest boy, taking Nora's hand, and leading her out of the room.

"I have to go," she said.

"You have to eat first. Here's your seat," said the boy, pulling out a chair for her in the dining room. She sat down, then the boy and his father joined the other two boys at the table. Nora realised that she was sitting opposite the general.

"Shall we say grace?" asked the youngest boy. Nora looked at him, then she closed her eyes. The boy prayed, then Nora opened her eyes when he said amen. Everyone was looking at her. She looked at the food.

"This looks fabulous," she said. She picked up her fork, and looked about, everyone was still watching her.

"Let's eat," she said.

"Are you marrying Papa?" asked the eldest boy. Nora looked from him to the general.

"She's thinking about it. Eat up," he said. He, Nora and the youngest boy started eating. The other two boys stared at her. She became nervous, then she decided to take control.

"You two had better eat, unless you want to do the dishes," she said.

"Boys don't do dishes," said the middle boy.

"Where I come from, everyone does everything, and you'll wash dishes if you can't be bothered to eat." The boys started eating. After dinner, the staff collected the dishes. Nora thanked them, they smiled, surprised. Nora then thanked the general, and said that she was leaving. She made her goodbyes to the boys, and stood. The general walked her to her car. She unlocked it, and climbed in.

"Drive safely," he said. She nodded and drove off.

She had just arrived home, when her phone rang.

"Did you get home alright?" asked her caller. Her heart thudded hard.

"Yes, thank you, general," she said.

"My name is Joshua," he said.

"I'm fine, Joshua." They were both quiet.

"Well, goodnight," said Nora.

"Goodnight," said Joshua.

Nora was annoyed with herself for thinking about him constantly. She needed a hobby, then she would not obsess about someone that she had no future with. Next day, she looked in the papers and phone book for hobbies to take up, and decided on pottery. She phoned about, and booked an introductory lesson the following Tuesday evening.

All through the weekend, she kept seeing Joshua in her head. On Monday, she returned to work, and more people put it to her that she only had the job because of who she was sleeping with. She denied it, but no one believed her. She was relieved to go to her pottery lesson.

That Wednesday morning, she was woken early by a knock on the door. She asked who it was, and Belinda said they needed to talk. Nora opened the door.

"Get cleaned up, I'll make breakfast," said Belinda. When she was dressed, Nora found Belinda in the lounge. She switched off the TV, and looked at Nora.

"When are you and Josh registering to marry? You have to do it soon if he's to keep the boys," she said.

"I'm not marrying him."

"You have to take pity on him, I wouldn't wish my sister on a nice man like him."

"I don't want to get married."

"Neither does he, but he needs to, and he chose you. Do it for a short while, if you can't do it for life."

"What would by the point?"

"He'll get to keep his boys."

"Are they not better off with their mother?"

"No! She left them. She divorced Josh for a richer man. The man she's with now is her fourth husband, and the richest so far. If she takes them, those kids will have no stability. If Josh keeps them, even if you divorce him, the boys will still have him and the home they know."

"But..."

"Marry him, Nora. He did so much to free you, do something good for him too."

"I'll get him a thank you gift."

"Can you see that equalling being prevented from being murdered by those policemen who thought you wanted to run away, or stopping the prisoners from killing you, and telling the prison staff that if you died, they'd lose their jobs? After all that, he convinced the President to pardon you. What gift can you get him that will equal that?"

"He kept me alive in jail?"

"Of course! He had to threaten and bribe a lot of people for you. He's done many things for you, surely you can do one thing for him?"

"Was he involved in the plan to help me escape?"

"No! He's too straight for that. I think he likes you for not running, he felt you'd done the right thing."

"Marrying him is a big step."

"So are the things he did for you." They shared a long look.

"Don't tell him I was here, he'd fire me. I have to go," said Belinda, then she left.

Throughout the day, Nora kept thinking about Belinda's words. After ten that evening, she phoned Joshua's number.

"Nora?" he said sleepily.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"Are you alright?"

"Do you still want to marry me?"

"Of course."

"Okay, I'll marry you."

"Oh! What made you agree?"

"Does it matter?"

"No. Can we go and register at home affairs tomorrow morning?"

"Can we do it on Friday, by then, I'll have followed proper leave procedures, and no one will tell me that I take chances because I'm sleeping with you."

"You're not."

"I tell them that, but they don't believe me."

"You will, soon." Nora gasped, she had not thought about sleeping with him.

"Nora?" said Joshua.

"Yes?"

"It will be fine."

"Look..."

"It will be fine, we'll make it fine, for both of us, so that we both want to be married to each other. I'll call you. Goodnight."

Nora tossed and turned half the night, wondering if she was insane for offering to marry a stranger. Yes, he had done big things for her, but did that warrant marrying him? In the morning, she had no reply to that question. She filed for leave at work, and spent most of the day listening to people making snide remarks about people who slept their way to the top. She typed her CV, and started sending it out.

Next morning she met Joshua at a home affairs office.

"You look sick, what is it?" he asked.

"I don't know if I can do this," she said.

"Yes, you can, because you know I'll never do anything that hurts you, or displeases you." She looked deep into his eyes, then she looked away, annoyed with herself for believing him.

"Come," he said, taking her hand in his and leading the way. She made to withdraw her hand, he squeezed it gently, without releasing it. They would be married the day before the mother of the boys left for Canada. Joshua walked Nora to her car.

"It will be fine," he said. She nodded, and drove to work.

Two weeks later, Belinda came to her home.

"What are you wearing to your wedding?" she asked. Nora had been too busy to think about that.

"I'll take care of it. I'll take your measurements, and take care of it," said Belinda.

"Thank you."

"After you marry, you have to move in with Josh. The mother of the boys will take them if you don't live with them."

"Yes," said Nora, feeling a knot in her stomach.

"Josh's a wonderful man, Nora. If I wasn't married, I'd try to get him."

"Belinda!"

"It's true. I think you're lucky to be marrying him. Be good to him. There'll be a lot of women trying to take him from you."

"Oh."

"Don't worry. He's refused all offers since his divorce."

Two days before the wedding, Belinda arrived with Nora's wedding outfit.

"It's a bride's gown!" gasped Nora.

"Yes, you're a bride."

"It's too expensive, and too beautiful for a woman my age."

"Try it on."

"I couldn't."

"Nora, it's yours, try it." Nora put the gown on, and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked gorgeous. She started crying. Belinda held her until she stopped crying.

"Sorry," she said, cleaning her face.

"What's the matter, don't you like it?" asked Belinda.

"I look like a good person in this."

"You _are_ a good person."

"I'm a murderer."

"That was one act, it doesn't define you. You are Nora, an intelligent, kind woman, who's about to marry my best friend, and provide him and his boys with stability."

"What if I fail them? The boys don't want me."

"Only because they don't know you. Don't worry. I'll pick you up on your wedding day and drive you to home affairs. You and Josh should think about having a big ceremony."

"No! I don't want him or the boys laughed at for having me in their family."

# CHAPTER FOUR

Nora was nervous on her wedding day. Belinda and her husband, Julio, fetched her to the marriage venue. Joshua was there with his sons, and his brother, Toby. Nora looked from the boys, to Joshua, struck by nerves.

"It's fine, Nora," said Belinda. Nora became more nervous.

The marriage ceremony was performed, then they all went to Joshua's home. Nora was glad to travel with Belinda and Julio, instead of with Joshua. At his home, the staff welcomed them as if they were heroes, then they served them a fabulous lunch. Nora went to the kitchen to thank them, and they smiled at her, pleased.

After lunch the guests left. Nora found herself on the driveway, with Joshua and his sons looking at her.

"I have to go get my things from my house," she said.

"Belinda had them brought here," said Joshua.

"Oh. That was nice of her." The boys were all wearing suits matching their father's. The two younger boys looked like their father. Nora thought that maybe the eldest looked like their mother. She asked them their names again, and the youngest answered her. In order of age, they were Gabriel, Allen and Peter. Nora focused on Peter.

"You look great," she said.

"Thanks, Mama, so do you," he said, then he took her hand, and led her into the house. She found herself in the entrance hall, with her new family.

"What do you want us to call you?" asked Gabriel. Nora opened her mouth.

"Mama, what else would we call her?" asked Peter.

"She's not our mama."

"She's married to Papa."

"I'm not calling her mama, I have a Mama."

"Then you'll call her Mrs Mkhuba, but you will not, under any circumstances, call her by her first name. I won't have her disrespected in any way," said Joshua. Nora looked at him, surprised by his passion. The boys nodded, and left. Nora felt a lump in her throat, no one had ever stood up for her.

"Come, I'll show you your new home," said Joshua. He gave her a tour. The house had seven bedrooms, all with ensuite bathrooms, three kitchens, four reception rooms, an indoor pool, a games room, a bar, and two guest bathrooms. They ended up in the master bedroom.

"I can show you the rest tomorrow," said Joshua. Nora nodded, watching him.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"We can't start our marriage on lies." Joshua gave her a long look, then he sat on the bed that they would be sharing.

"I don't want to disappoint you," he said.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't want you thinking I took advantage of you."

"I don't think that."

"Really?"

"What made you think I think..."

"Something you said about men always being out to take advantage of a woman." Nora sat down beside Joshua and gave him a long look. She had never noticed that he had a square jaw, and that he was very handsome. She had noticed his brown eyes before, now she noticed that he had nice lips and a nose she wanted to kiss. She looked at her hands, asking herself why she was finding him attractive when nothing good would come of it. She took a deep breath and looked at him, deciding to focus on the matter at hand.

"I've never been married, so I don't know how marriage works, but I think if we talk to each other about our fears, insecurities, joy, we have less chance of getting our wires crossed. If you hadn't told me what you were thinking, I'd have thought you regretted marrying me."

"I would never do that!"

"Talk to me, and I'll talk to you. Why did your last marriage end? I'm so sorry, that's none of my business," said Nora, getting to her feet. She felt a hand on hers, and realised that Joshua was holding it.

"I'll tell you, just not today. Today I want to savour our wedding," he said. She nodded. He released her hand, she went to shower. After the shower, she dressed, and looked for her personal belongings. All of them had been brought to Joshua's home, including the company car.

She joined the family for dinner, no one had much of an appetite, and the meal ended quickly. Nora went to do the dishes as the staff had left. She admired the kitchen and all that it contained. She was thinking of baking to while away time, when Joshua joined her.

"What are you still doing here? Come to bed, it's been a long day," he said. She looked away from him.

"Nora? What's the matter?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, I should have thought about sex. I can't give you that," she said.

"Did I ask you to?"

"All men expect sex from their wives."

"If and when the time is right for both of us, then I'll expect it. Now, I just want to sleep, beside you. Will you come to bed?" Nora gave him a searching look, then she packed away the ingredients, and followed him to their bedroom. They had just closed the door, when someone knocked on it. Joshua opened it.

"I want to say goodnight to Mama," said Peter. Nora looked at him in amazement.

"Goodnight," she said.

"Can I get a hug?" asked Peter. Nora looked from him to Joshua, who shrugged. She approached Peter and leaned down to hug him, he kissed her cheek, released her, and left. She put a hand on her cheek, and looked at Joshua.

"Why do you look so surprised?" he asked, as he closed the door behind Peter.

"I've never been kissed for no reason. A kiss usually leads to..." Joshua was watching her. He yawned.

"What's made you so tired? It's not that late," she said.

"I was up all night, waiting for you to call and say you'd changed your mind."

"Why did you expect me to do that?"

"You said you don't want to be married."

"I don't, but I'm sure we can make this work for all of us."

"Can we sleep? Gina will be here tomorrow, to fight. We all need to get a proper night's sleep."

Joshua removed his gown, he was already in pyjamas, and climbed into bed. Nora went to change into her sleepwear in the dressing room, then she climbed into bed beside Joshua.

She spent the night awake. She had never slept beside a man with no consequences, and she wanted to be ready for anything that would happen. The birds started singing outside, and still, Joshua did nothing. Exhausted, Nora finally slept.

"Nora, Nora, it's time to wake up," she heard. She opened her eyes, a man was standing over her, as she lay on a bed. She sat up, and moved away from him quickly.

"Nora?" said the man. She looked at him.

"General?" she said.

"Joshua," he said.

"Joshua?" she said quizzically, then she remembered where she was, and who he was.

"Morning, Joshua," she said. The frown that had been on his face lifted.

"Hi. Get cleaned up, Gina will be here in thirty minutes. Meet me in the lounge." Nora dressed quickly, and went to the lounge. The elder boys were sitting one on either side of a beautiful woman who was very well dressed, competing for her attention. Peter was seated apart from them, watching. He saw Nora at the door, and went to take her hand. Nora noticed a man sitting in the room, watching the beautiful woman.

"Hi, Mama, come," said Peter, leading her to a seat. She sat down and gave a general greeting.

"Peter, are you going to introduce me to your friend?" asked the beautiful woman.

"She's our Mama," said Peter.

" _I'm_ your Mama."

"She's the Mama that lives with us. Mama, that's our other Mama, the one that lives overseas," said Peter.

"You boys only have one Mama, and that's me," said the beautiful woman. Joshua entered the room.

"What's going on here? Who's this woman? Are you living in sin infront of my children?" demanded the beautiful woman.

"Hi, Gina, this is Nora. Nora, that's Gina, the biological mother of the boys. Nora is my wife, and the practical mother of the boys," said Joshua, going to sit beside Nora.

" _I_ am their mother!" shouted Gina.

"You left them. Nora's here to do what you didn't want to do."

"How dare you..."

"Excuse me," said Nora. Joshua and Gina looked at her.

"I don't think the boys need to hear this," she said.

"I decide..." said Gina.

"This is my home, and I decide what happens in here."

"It was mine before it was yours."

"True, but I'm here now, and you're not. If the three of us are going to fight, we won't traumatise the boys by doing it infront of them, and forcing them to choose sides."

"How dare you tell me how to be a parent!"

"Enough!" shouted Joshua. There was a silence.

"I'm hungry, Mama, can we eat?" asked Peter.

"Of course," said Nora and Gina, then they looked at each other.

"I meant you," Peter said to Nora. She smiled at him, stood, took his hand, and led him out of the room. They met the staff ferrying food to the dining room, and followed them. Nora sat down and realised that everyone who had been in the lounge was now in the dining room.

Gina greeted the staff familiarly, then she introduced them to Jean-Claude, her husband. The boys watched him warily. He and Joshua started talking in French, and everyone watched them, fascinated.

"Sorry, we're being very rude, Jean-Claude," said Joshua. Jean-Claude also apologised, then they spoke in English. Jean-Claude spoke haltingly, and explained that he was still learning the language, as he was from France and had moved to Canada a few years before. After breakfast, the boys were excused. The adults returned to the lounge.

"I've come for my sons," said Gina.

"They're not going anywhere, this is their home," said Joshua.

"I can give them stability."

"They have stability, a home they know, me, and a resident mother in Nora."

"She's not their mother."

"She's the one who'll be doing the day-to-day parenting."

" _I_ want to do it, that's why I'm here."

"You're not taking them."

Nora listened as Gina and Joshua quarrelled and brought up things from the past.

"Excuse me," she shouted. The combatants looked at her.

"As far as I know, the boys are old enough to choose to go or not go. Ask them what they want," she said.

"Don't tell me what to do with my sons," said Gina.

"Nora is right, ask them," said Jean-Claude.

"But..." said Gina.

"I do not want to listen to your noise with Joshua. Ask the boys." Joshua called a staff member, and asked her to call the boys. There was a silence as the boys were waited for, then they arrived, and sat down. The elder boys sat beside Gina, while Peter sat beside Nora.

"Boys, as you know, your mother's returning to Canada. Do you want to go with her, or do you want to stay here?" asked Joshua. The boys looked at each other.

"Gabriel, what do you want?" asked Gina. He looked between his parents.

"I want to go to Canada," he said.

"Allen?" said Gina.

"I don't know what I want," he said.

"I want to stay with Papa, and Mama," Peter said decisively.

"You need to be with me, your Mama," said Gina.

"I don't know you, but I know _this_ Mama, and I want to stay with her."

"She is _not_ your Mama!"

"I'm not going anywhere with you!"

"Don't shout at your elder, boy," said Joshua.

"Sorry. I'm staying here," Peter said firmly. Nora noticed the poisonous glare that Gina gave her.

"Allen, what do you want, son?" asked Joshua.

"I don't want to have to choose! Why can't you stay together?" demanded Allen. His parents were taken aback.

"Why are you making me choose? Whoever I choose will love me, and who I don't choose will hate me," he continued.

"We won't hate you, Allen. We love you, we always have, and we always will," said Joshua.

"Why did you send Mama away? I don't know this new Mama, and I don't know this new Papa. I want my parents to be together!"

"That will never happen, Allen, we've talked about this many, many times," said Joshua.

"It's wrong! Why did you make us a family, and then destroy that?" Joshua and Gina looked from him, to each other, and back.

"Your father and I stopped being able to live together, that happens sometimes when people stop being friends," said Gina.

"You weren't friends, you were family!" said Allen.

"We can't go back to that time." Allen looked between his parents, then he looked down, clearly heart-broken.

"I'm not choosing between you, I love you both, and I want you both to love me," he said.

"We do," Joshua and Gina said together.

"I'll go to boarding school, and for holidays, I'll live with Mama, then at the next holiday, I'll live with Papa," said Allen.

"Boarding school? Do you know what happens in boarding schools? No son of mine is going to boarding school!" decreed Gina.

"I'm not choosing!" insisted Allen.

"How about living with one parent to go to school, and going to the other one for holiday?" suggested Jean-Claude. Allen wiped tears off his cheeks.

"I'm going to boarding school!"

"No!" said Joshua and Gina. Allen looked at them in turn, then he left the room. His brothers followed him.

"This is your fault. You've upset him by bringing this strange woman here," said Gina.

"You upset him first, when you left him," said Joshua.

"If you'd been home more often..."

"I was working!"

"Stooooop!" shouted Jean-Claude. Joshua and Gina looked at him.

"You are helping your son, how? You must stop fighting, and help him. Nora and me, we go outside, you two talk, and make that boy feel better. Come, Nora," said Jean-Claude, getting to his feet. Nora looked at Joshua, who was watching her, then she stood, and led the way out of the room and out of the house. She and Jean-Claude walked beside each other in silence, in the garden.

"How long have you been married to Gina?" she asked.

"Two years. How long have you married Joshua?"

"One day."

"What?"

"We married yesterday."

"Oh!"

"Have you met Joshua before?"

"No."

Peter joined them and walked on Nora's other side, talking about the garden, and the gazebo. Nora stopped walking and watched him talk with enthusiasm about the birds.

"Are they yours?" she asked.

"No, but I feed them when they come. I want an aviary and some birds for my birthday."

"When is it?"

"In four months. Is it true that you were in jail?" Nora looked from Peter to Jean-Claude, who had gasped.

"Yes, it's true," she said to Peter.

"Why?"

"Come," said Joshua, joining them. He took Nora's hand in one hand, and Peter's in his other hand. Nora was relieved not to say why she had been in jail.

In the lounge, Gina was seated between the elder boys, and she was holding Allen.

"Your mother and your other Papa are leaving. Gabriel, you're going with them. I don't want either of them complaining about you disrespecting them, their property, or anyone else, is that clear?" said Joshua.

"Yes," said Gabriel.

"Allen will join you for holidays. I expect good behaviour from all my sons, at all times. Peter, you can go visit your Mama with Allen during holidays."

"I don't want to," said Peter. Gina looked tearful.

"Give your Mama a hug, she misses you, and she'd like to see you sometimes," said Joshua. Peter hugged Nora. She stilled, amazed, then she returned the embrace.

"Your other Mama," said Joshua. Peter looked at Gina uncertainly, then he approached her, and hugged her gingerly. She put her arms round him. He released himself quickly, and went sit beside Nora, seeming to hide from Gina behind her. Nora was touched that someone thought that she could protect them. She decided there and then that as much as possible, she would protect Peter. She looked at Gina, who was glaring at her.

"Thank you, Joshua, thank you, Nora, we must go now. Boys, it was nice meeting you. You are welcome to visit your _Maman_ any time," said Jean-Claude. Allen nodded.

"Gabriel, are you packed?" asked Gina.

"Yes, I'll get my things," said Gabriel, then he left the room.

"When are you leaving, Mama? Can I see you off at the airport?" asked Allen.

"We leave in a week," replied Gina.

"Can I come stay with you until you leave? Please? Papa, can I go, please?" Gina and Joshua looked at each other.

"You don't want me," Allen said sadly.

"Of course I want you," said Gina.

"Then I can come?"

"Yes, you can come. You will meet my son and daughter, and their children," said Jean-Claude.

"Their children?" said Peter.

"I am a grandfather."

"You must be old."

"Peter!" said Joshua.

"I am old," smiled Jean-Claude. Gabriel arrived with his things. Allen left the room.

"We're off," said Gina. Everyone stood, and walked out to Jean-Claude's car. Gabriel's things were packed, then he turned to his family, looking close to tears. Allen joined them with his things. Gabriel and his father held each other for long moments. When they released each other, Gabriel was crying, Joshua was close to tears. Gabriel hugged Peter, and climbed into the car. Allen hugged Joshua and Peter, nodded at Nora, and climbed into the car. Gina hugged Peter, who did not want to be hugged, then she and Jean-Claude climbed into the car, and left.

Peter and Joshua were holding each other tight. Joshua had tears on his cheeks. He released Peter, and walked away. Peter took Nora's hand in his.

"He's very sad. We've always been together," he said.

"Allen will be back, and you can phone Gabriel."

"Yes, but he won't be here." Nora nodded. Peter went into the house. Nora stood a while, wondering what to do. In the end, she decided to go and find Joshua. He was sitting beside the swimming pool, Nora sat beside him.

"He loves to swim. I hope Gina has a pool for him. He could make it to the Olympics if he practises," he said.

"Gabriel?" asked Nora.

"Yes. I'm going to miss him. I didn't realise it would be so hard to see him go." Nora did not know what to say. Joshua sniffed. She handed him a tissue.

"You can go in, if you like," he said.

"Do you want me to go?"

"No."

"I don't want to go. I want you to know that you're not alone." Joshua nodded. They were quiet for a long time.

"What do Allen and Peter like?" she asked.

"Allen's good at languages and word games. Peter's not so easy to read. I think he was traumatised when his mother left. He's very quiet, and stays in the background. I wish I knew how to help him. I'm glad he chose to stay, not because I want to spite Gina, but because I believe he needs familiarity. If Gina and Jean-Claude are still together in a few years, I'll encourage him to go to Canada, and get out of his comfort zones. He seems to like you."

"Yes. People don't usually take to me."

"I did, and now Peter's done the same thing. We're your family, and you're our family." Nora nodded.

They returned to the house for lunch, then Joshua had to leave. Nora gave herself a tour of the house, inside and outside.

Joshua returned home in time for dinner. Peter left the table early, and went to watch TV.

"How was your day?" asked Nora.

"It was fine, why do you ask?" returned Joshua.

"Isn't that what families ask each other?"

"I guess it is."

"Did you and Gina never talk about your days?"

"I was doing confidential work."

"Are you not doing it now?"

"The difference is that it's not state secrets now, it's company secrets."

"Don't worry, I won't try to get them out of you during pillow talk." Joshua smiled. Nora smiled back, then she looked away from him.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No."

"Then why aren't you looking at me?" Nora fidgeted, then she looked at Joshua.

"I get nervous when..." she said.

"When?"

"When I like a man," she continued.

"You like me?" She gave him a quelling glare, and he smiled.

"Why do you get nervous? You have nothing to be afraid of, at least not with me," he said.

"Forget it."

"No, I won't forget that the woman I like likes me too."

"You like me?"

"Why do you think I married you?"

"Because you were desperate?"

"Because I like you."

"Oh!"

"I told you that."

"I guess I thought you were saying what you thought I wanted to hear."

"I was telling you the truth. I hope meeting Gina didn't put you off being with me."

"No, it didn't. Jean-Claude knows I was in jail, Peter mentioned it. Gina might have a problem with that."

"We'll handle whatever happens. Can we go to bed?"

"Do you always sleep with the chickens?" Joshua gasped, looking offended. Nora smiled, then her smile faded as she wondered why she was not nervous in the presence of a seemingly angry man. She noticed how quiet it was, and looked at Joshua. He was looking at her as if he wanted to know what she was thinking.

"We should sleep," she said, getting to her feet.

She could not sleep that night, or the next, and when Monday arrived, she was exhausted. She wanted to call in sick, then decided against it. The day dragged, and everything seemed to get on her nerves.

Finally, the day ended, and she went home. She showered, climbed into bed, and fell asleep immediately. When she came awake, she felt refreshed. She opened her eyes. Joshua was sitting beside her, watching her.

"Hi, is everything alright?" she asked.

"Are you alright?"

"Of course."

"Peter's worried about you."

"Why?"

"You didn't join him for supper, and when he looked for you, you were in bed. He called to you but you didn't respond. He thought you were ill."

"I'm fine."

"Then why were you in bed before supper?" Nora looked away from him.

"Nora?"

"I haven't slept since we married," she said.

"Why not?"

"I wanted to be ready in case..."

"In case I attacked you."

"Yes."

"I didn't."

"No." She watched Joshua look away from her, and take a deep breath. Something was bothering him.

"What's the matter?" she asked. He looked at her.

"I don't like that you don't trust me. I'm telling myself that it's not personal, but that doesn't make me feel better."

"I'll learn to trust you, Joshua. I want to. I like you, that gives me hope, it should give you hope too." Joshua looked away from her.

"I don't mean to offend you," she said.

"I know. Go back to sleep."

"What time is it?"

"Three in the morning."

"Are you going somewhere?"

"I'm coming from work. I phoned to tell you, but you were asleep." Joshua stood, and went to the bathroom. Nora waited for him, then she decided to go and get a sandwich. When she returned to the bedroom, Joshua was climbing into bed. Nora climbed in beside him, and they settled down.

They were silent in the dark. Nora could hear that Joshua was awake.

"I miss my sons," he said.

"I wish I knew how to make you feel better," Nora said, after a short silence.

"Hold me, then I won't feel so alone." Nora's heart pounded with fear and shock at Joshua's words. She told herself to calm down, Joshua was not likely to attack her, it was not in his interests to alienate her. She turned to face him, then she moved closer to him, and put an arm on his waist. He moved closer to her, then he turned his back on her. She spooned behind him. She was surprised by how comfortable and warm the position was. She did not sleep again. When she was ready for work in the morning, she stood watching Joshua sleep.

"I hope you have a good day. Phone the boys if you miss them," she whispered, then she left.

# CHAPTER FIVE

When she arrived home, she found a cab outside the front door. In the lounge, and found Gina talking on the phone. She noticed Nora and ended the call quickly, as she stood.

"You murderer!" she shouted.

"I..."

"How did you trick Joshua into marrying you? I don't want you anywhere near my children. I don't want to wonder on a daily basis if you've killed them."

"I won't!"

"How did you trick Joshua into marriage? If he wants to keep the boys, he'll get rid of you."

"Gina..."

"Shut up! Shut your murdering mouth, and get out of my home!" shouted Gina.

"Don't shout at my Mama!" shouted Peter as he entered the room.

"She's not your Mama, she's a killer!"

"Leave her alone!"

"Peter..." said Nora.

"Get out! Get out, killer, get out!" shouted Gina.

"Will you stop that! How dare you come into my home and behave as if you're uncivilised!" barked Joshua in his head of correctional services voice.

"Divorce this killer, unless you never want to see the boys again!"

"Don't threaten me!"

"I'm going to court to sue for full custody."

"You're not taking me from my family," said Peter.

"They're not your family, _I_ am. I'm your mother."

"No, you're not, this is my Mama," said Peter, going to stand beside Nora.

"Stealing my son won't make the judge give you custody," Gina said to Nora.

"If the judge gives you custody of me, I'll run away, or kill myself," said Peter. Gina and Nora gasped, looking at him in horror.

"Gina, come, you and I need to talk alone," said Joshua.

"This killer..." said Gina.

"Stop it! Haven't you upset Peter enough? Let's go to the study." Gina and Joshua left. Peter also left. Nora sat down and closed her eyes, telling herself not to cry. If she had to leave, she would leave. It was not as if she had really become a member of Joshua's family.

She opened her eyes, trying to dispel the pain caused by thoughts of leaving, but that did not help. Joshua entered the room, and sat down.

"It might be best for me to leave," she said.

"Do you want to?"

"What's good for the boys is what matters."

"Your being here is good for the boys."

"Gina..."

"She's not applying for custody, and she'll never call you names again."

"But..."

"Families stay together, they don't leave each other." Nora and Joshua shared a look, then Nora went to freshen up. She joined Joshua and Peter for dinner.

"It's nice when we all eat together," said Peter. Nora smiled at him.

"Are you alright, Mama? I thought you'd died last night."

"I'm fine. I was just tired." Peter studied her, then he nodded.

Next evening, when Nora arrived home, she found the staff bustling.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"We're having a dinner party," said Hilda, the housekeeper. Nora felt her blood go cold. She was not in a position to see people, or host anything. Her phone rang.

"Hi, Nora, it's Josh," she heard. She frowned, wondering who Josh was, until she remembered that it was short for Joshua.

"Hi," she said.

"We're having a dinner party."

"You didn't tell me."

"I know. It just happened."

"Oh. Do you want me to go out for the night?"

"No! We're hosting this together."

"Joshua..."

"I'll see you later. Just be yourself."

"But..." The call had been cut. Nora freshened up, and took a while in the dressing room, trying to decide what to wear. Joshua had bought her beautiful clothes as a wedding gift. She settled on a full length, black evening gown. When she went to the lounge, there were several strangers in there with Joshua.

He smiled at her and beckoned. She went to sit beside him, then she gave a general greeting. She only knew Lauren, her immediate boss at work, and Garrett, the company's managing director. Joshua introduced her as his wife, then he introduced the guests to her, they were all prominent business people.

"You know, Joshua, your wife looks very much like that woman who murdered two men," someone said. Nora drew a horrified breath. She had bought a wig and worn makeup to disguise herself, but obviously, it had not worked.

"She didn't murder them, she executed them, they were trying to topple the president," said Joshua. Nora looked from him to the other people in the room, they did not believe him. Dinner was announced, and she led the way to the dining room.

Everyone had just sat down, when a couple arrived. Nora stood, tipping her chair onto the floor in her haste. Everyone looked at her. She kept her eyes on the man. He looked at her in shock.

"Nora? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"She's my wife," said Joshua. Gordon stared at him in shock.

"Why would you marry a whore?" he asked. Joshua punched him on the jaw. Everyone gasped, and several people stood.

"Get out," Nora said in a deadly tone.

"Who's this woman?" asked Gordon's wife.

"I'm the stepsister he spent years sexually and verbally abusing. I want you to get him out of here," said Nora.

"She's lying," said Gordon. His wife looked from him to Nora.

"How old were you when he started?" she asked.

"She's lying!"

"Seven," replied Nora. Mrs Gordon looked at him.

"Are you abusing my child?" she demanded.

"No!" replied Gordon.

"She was normal, until she came to live with us. Now, she's withdrawn, moody, and scared of you. You abuse my child!" said the woman, with slow realisation.

"I do not!" denied Gordon. The woman punched him, and left.

"You liar! If my marriage is destroyed by this, I'll kill you!" Gordon shouted to Nora.

"Go anywhere near her, and I'll ask the revenue services to pay more attention to your finances, and other interactions," said Joshua. Gordon seemed to lose colour.

"Get out, and stay away from me. Consider our business terminated immediately. I'll get the papers to you in the morning," continued Joshua. Gordon gasped.

"You can't terminate our good business based on the word of a whore," he said.

"I won't ask you to leave again," Joshua said coldly.

"She's a whore who got everything she deserved." Joshua made to punch again.

"Joshua!" said Nora. Joshua looked at her.

"Gordon, get out," said Nora.

"I will not..." Nora walked up to him.

"Would you like me to tell these good people what you and your father used to do to my mother, and the people who worked for you?" she asked.

"You're a lying..."

"He and his father only employed women who slept with them."

"That's not true!"

"Anyone who refused didn't get the job. If you look at his staff, most of them are likely to be female, and if you ask them, they'll confirm my story."

"Is this true?" asked the deputy minister of labour.

"No!" said Gordon.

"Ask them, deputy minister, don't take my word for it," said Nora.

"Mr Summons, my staff members will be on your premises tomorrow, investigating these accusations," said the minister.

"She's lying!"

"Then you won't mind if the staff tell me that themselves."

"I hate you," Gordon said feelingly to Nora, then he left.

"Are you alright?" Nora asked Joshua, as she put a hand on his forearm. He put a hand on her waist.

"I'm fine, what about you? I didn't know..."

"I know. I...excuse me," said Nora, then she ran out of the room, and into the nearest bathroom, where she was violently sick.

"Are you alright?" asked Joshua. Nora was surprised to see him.

"Don't leave the guests alone," she said.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I got a big shock, but I'm fine. I'll be with you and the guests soon." Joshua nodded, and left.

Nora brushed her teeth, and cursed herself for making a scene. She decided to hold her head up high, and host the dinner. She wondered if Joshua would divorce her if the women that worked for Gordon said that they had not been hired irregularly. She returned to the dining room, then everyone started eating.

Joshua made small talk, and several people joined him. There was a lull in conversation.

"I don't know about everyone else, but I'd fear for my safety around a woman who killed two men in cold blood," said a guest. Nora looked at Joshua, he was getting upset.

"I would too," she said. Joshua looked at her.

"Fortunately for you all, I didn't kill those two in cold blood. If you read the papers, they should have told you that those two took advantage of me, and I snapped," she continued.

"Still..."

"Have you ever been denied a job because you wouldn't sleep with the boss? Have you?" asked Nora.

"I've always been the boss."

"Then you can't judge me based on something you know nothing about." There was an awkward silence.

"Still, Nora, how can we be sure you won't argue with Josh and shoot him?" asked a woman. Nora looked from her, to Joshua.

"I don't want to shoot him. He's been very good to me, and considering that my experience prior to meeting him was with abusers like Gordon, I appreciate how good I have it. If he and I quarrel, I'll leave. I don't want to hurt someone who's been very good to me. Killing him would deny his boys a parent, and put me back in prison. I am never going back there. I won't kill him, or anyone else," said Nora.

"But..."

"That's enough," said Joshua. Nora started talking about how the cold weather was affecting the winter harvest, and everyone relaxed. Hilda whispered to Nora, and she stood.

"Where are you going?" asked Joshua.

"To say goodnight to Peter," said Nora.

"Let _him_ come and say goodnight," said Joshua. Nora sat down, Hilda left. Peter arrived.

"Excuse me. I need to say goodnight to Mama," he said. Nora smiled. He walked to her. They hugged each other, then he kissed her cheek. She smiled and watched him leave.

"I thought you had three boys," said Garrett.

"The other two are with their mother," said Joshua.

"Does she know that you're married?"

"She and Nora have met."

"Oh."

The meal finally ended, and the guests left.

"I'm sorry I caused a scene," said Nora.

"Caused a scene?"

"With Gordon, I should have..."

"You should have done exactly what you did."

"But now, I've lost you good business."

"I chose to terminate that contract, it's not your fault."

"You can change your mind."

"I can't work with him, Nora, I can't work with anyone who hurt you. I want to hurt him, the way he hurt you. It's best that he and I stay away from each other."

"Won't he sue you?"

"He can try, and see how far that gets him." Nora looked at him warily, he looked murderous.

"I wish I'd never met him," she said.

"He wishes the same thing. Don't think about him, let's get to bed."

Next day at work, Nora discovered that everyone knew that she was married. She had not hoped to be congratulated, but she had not expected the snide remarks that were made about her in her hearing. The following day, the remarks became more disrespectful, and horrible. Nora stopped beside a group that was talking about her.

"Announcement, everyone," she said. Everyone looked at her, and she heard office doors opening behind her.

"Yes, I married the owner of this company, and it's not something I'll be ashamed of, or made to feel guilty about. If you all want a man like mine, then go and get one, and stop behaving like village gossips." There were gasps of outrage.

"Get back to work. It's what my husband pays you for," she shouted. Everyone turned away from her. She went to her office, fed up with everyone and herself. She phoned Lauren and told her that she was leaving, and that she would deal with the consequences on Monday. Lauren did not respond. Nora put the phone down, and went home. Peter was there.

"I want to go out, do you want to come with me?" she asked.

"What shall we do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to go to a pet shop."

"Okay, let's go." Peter talked about school and his friends all the way there. At the shop, he asked the assistant many questions. Nora sat down, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. After a while, she heard footsteps and opened her eyes.

"Your son's very clever, and he really understands the animals," the assistant said to her. She smiled from him to Peter.

"Ready to go?" she asked. He nodded. They bought pizza, as Peter had requested, then they went home.

Joshua was there. Nora could see that he had heard about things in the office. Peter took the food to the kitchen.

"I can explain," said Nora. Joshua put a hand up.

"I want to kiss you," he said.

"You do? I thought you wanted me to leave. At the office, I said..."

"I know what you said."

"Let me tell you why I said it."

"I don't care."

"Joshua..."

"You made me sound like a wonderful man."

"I did?"

"What man doesn't want his wife boasting about him?"

"Boasting?"

"You said I was a cream of the crop provider, providing for you, and them."

"Well..."

"I like that."

"Oh!"

"Can I kiss you?"

"Oh!"

"Can I?" Nora did not respond. Joshua approached, put his hands gently on her cheeks, and kissed her gently. When the kiss ended, Nora looked into his eyes. He wanted her, but he released her, and stepped back, watching her.

Peter returned with the food. They all sat down in the lounge. Peter ate and talked about the animals that he had seen. Nora and Joshua did not eat much. Joshua's phone rang. He looked at it, excused himself, and left the room. Nora released the breath that she had not realised she had been holding.

"Papa likes you," said Peter.

"I like him too, and I like you," she said.

"Could you love me?" Nora was surprised by the question.

"I could," she replied.

"I already love you."

"Oh!" said a stunned Nora. Peter gathered the dishes, kissed Nora's cheek, and left the room. Nora only realised that she was crying when she felt coldness on her cheek.

"What's the matter?" asked Joshua. Nora wiped the tears away.

"Nothing," she said.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Peter said he loves me."

"Why is that making you cry?"

"I am a murderer! I don't deserve love!" Joshua sat beside her.

"Nora, look at me," he said. Nora looked at him.

"I've said, several times, that you're not a murderer. I need you to hear and understand that you didn't murder those two, you executed them for the president," he said.

"But..."

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes."

"I don't want you referring to yourself in those terrible terms ever again. You're a member of my family, and my family has no murderers. Is that clear?"

"Yes."

"You deserve Peter's love, you deserve the love of everyone in the country, because you saved the president's life, and saved us from dictatorship. You're a hero, and don't you ever forget it," said Joshua, then he kissed her. Nora kissed him back. When the kiss ended, Joshua was very aroused.

"I liked that," he panted.

"I'm not..." Nora said in a panic.

"I know. We're dining with Gina and her husband. We leave in an hour."

"Is that a good idea?"

"Not really, but it has to be done, for the boys."

"Okay. Have you told Peter?"

"I'm going to do it now."

# CHAPTER SIX

Nora and Joshua sat in the back of the car, with Peter between them, as they were driven to Gina's home. The journey was made in silence. Jean-Claude met them at the door, and led them into the house.

"You have a beautiful home," said Nora. Jean-Claude smiled and thanked her.

"Can I see my brothers?" asked Peter. Jean-Claude told him how to get to them, and Peter left. Nora was left with the men. She sat down, and they sat down. There was a silence. Nora looked at Joshua, whom she had been expecting to get a conversation going. He seemed to be out of sorts. Nora looked at Jean-Claude, he was watching her.

"Are you ready to go home?" she asked.

"Yes, I am. I've had enough sun to last me a year."

"I'd miss the sun if I went to colder climes." Jean-Claude nodded. Gina entered the room, greeted the guests, and sat down. She was in a bad mood, and did not bother with small talk. Jean-Claude asked if anyone wanted anything to drink, and Joshua and Gina each gave a firm no. Jean-Claude looked at Nora, who was looking at him, also puzzled by the behaviour of their spouses.

"Can I show you our garden, Nora?" he offered.

"No!" said Gina and Joshua.

"What is the matter with you both?" demanded Jean-Claude.

"Ask him!" Gina said, nodding at Joshua.

"What should he ask me? I'm not the one who suggested this," said Joshua.

"You need to talk to your sons, and make them see sense."

"You boast of being their mother, talk to them yourself." They glared at each other.

"What's the matter?" asked Nora. They looked at her, then at each other.

"They refuse to go to the schools that their mother wants them to go to," said Jean-Claude.

"They must have reasons for that," said Nora.

"They're pig-headed, like their father."

"Gina!" rebuked Jean-Claude.

"Don't worry, Jean-Claude, those are words I'm very well used to," said Joshua coldly.

"I'm trying to do what's best for them," said Gina.

"Did they tell you why they said no?" asked Nora.

"They are children! I decide, and they do as they're told!"

"That was when you left, now, they're young men who have the capacity to think and decide for themselves," said Joshua.

"You gave them too much freedom, and now, they don't know how to respect their elders," said Gina.

"Let them go the schools they want," said Jean-Claude.

"When will I get to see them?"

"During holidays! We travel most of the time, they would hardly see us anyway."

"I want to see my children every day."

"That is not possible, unless you decide to live here."

"Never!"

"Then you must let them..."

"Let's go and eat. Where are those disappointments of sons anyway?" asked Gina, getting to her feet.

"You will never refer to my children in those terms, in their hearing, or out of it. They're not disappointments, I'm very proud of them," Joshua said passionately. Gina glanced at him and led the way out of the room. They found the boys in the dining room. The two elder boys hugged their father, and greeted Nora, Peter greeted his mother politely.

"Don't I get a hug?" asked Gina. Peter did not respond. Everyone sat down.

Gabriel told Joshua that he had decided to continue going to his old school, and visit his mother during holidays. Allen insisted that he would go to boarding school. Peter was glad that the family would not be splitting up. Gina gave him a nasty look. As soon as it was polite to do so, Joshua made his goodbyes. Gabriel and Allen said that they were returning home with him. He looked between them.

"Don't you want to see your mother to the airport?" he asked.

"No," they said together, then all three boys left the room.

"What happened? What changed?" asked Joshua.

"Ask them, they're your children after all," said Gina. The boys returned. They thanked Gina and Jean-Claude for having them, then they led the way out to the car. The driver helped them to pack their things into the boot, then everyone climbed in. The three boys sat behind Joshua and Nora, chattering with excitement.

Once home, they said goodnight, and went to sleep. Nora looked at Joshua uneasily.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"You were tense at Gina's."

"That woman and I should never have married. We rub each other the wrong way. I always get tense around her, but I'm fine. Let's get to bed."

Next morning, Peter showed Nora an online magazine article about her. She was quoted as having said that if other women were too stupid to get their men to give them jobs, then they deserved to live in squalor.

"I never said that!" she gasped.

"I know, you're not nasty," said Peter. Nora felt tears in her throat, touched that Peter believed in her.

That night, she lay beside Joshua, thinking about finding accommodation. The two elder boys were unruly, and she did not see herself putting up with them without causing fights between herself, them, and Joshua.

Next day, she declined to join the family as they went to church. She spent the day surfing the internet for accommodation. She wanted to live and work some place where no one knew her. On the other hand, she did not like the thought of living in a place without running water, electricity or proper sewerage facilities. She decided to leave the country. She would have to get a passport, perhaps she could ask Joshua to help her to get it sooner than most people got theirs. She needed to leave soon, she did not see herself lasting a month with the boys.

Joshua returned with them from church. Nora announced lunch, which she had set up in the kitchen.

"Why are we eating in here like poor people?" demanded Gabriel.

"This is warm and cosy," said Nora.

"It's for poor people! We're not poor! I'm not eating in here."

"That's fine, just bring your dishes to the sink when you finish eating."

"I won't do that! It's your job to fetch the dishes."

"It's the job of the staff, I'm not staff."

"You work for Papa."

"At DDR, not here."

"I'm not bringing the dishes back, and I'm not eating this peasant food!"

"Fine, you can join us for dinner."

"Cook me something else."

"I've already cooked. Eat what's on the table, or wait until dinner."

"No!"

"Sit down, everyone," said Nora.

Joshua and Peter sat down. Allen looked from the food, to Gabriel, then he sat down.

"Are you eating this rubbish?" demanded Gabriel.

"It's better than starving until supper," said Allen.

"I'm going out," said Gabriel, then he left the room. In seconds, they heard him roaring off in his car. Everyone finished their food.

"Put your plates at the sink," said Nora. Peter put his plate at the sink, and left the room. Allen stared at her in shock.

"I'm not a girl! I'm not going to do that," he said.

"You will, if you don't want to eat dinner in a dirty plate."

"What?"

"Your father is the only one whose plate I'll take to the sink, because he's the head of the home. The rest of you must pull your own weight."

"We've never had to do that, and we didn't do it at Mama's house."

"This is not your Mama's house anymore, it's mine now."

"Then leave! I'm not putting up with these rubbish rules!" shouted Allen, then he left the room.

Nora took Joshua's and her plates to the sink. Joshua brought Allen's plate to the sink.

"Please put it back," said Nora.

"But..."

"Please, Joshua. I don't mess with your area of influence, please don't mess with mine." Joshua returned the plate to the table.

"Aren't you being too harsh?" he asked.

"I'm laying down rules. I believe in starting as I mean to continue."

"They're not girls!"

"They're not princes either, and I'm not here to be their maid. I'm a co-parent with you. Neither of us will pamper the boys, or pick up after them."

"I don't see that stance getting you anywhere," said Joshua, then he left.

Nora closed her eyes. She had to get more serious about finding alternative work, and accommodation. Things were going to come to a head sooner than she had thought. She made dinner, then she went to forward her CV to more overseas companies. She set dinner up in the kitchen again, and asked Peter to invite everyone to eat.

"Where are your brothers?" she asked, when he returned with Joshua. He shrugged, as he and Joshua sat down, and started eating. When they finished eating, they thanked her. Peter put his plate at the sink, then he and Joshua left.

Nora cleared up. She was almost done with the dishes, when Gabriel entered the room.

"I want my food," he said. Nora did not respond.

"I want my food!" he repeated. Still, Nora was quiet.

"I'm talking to you!" he shouted in her ear. Nora felt her blood boil. She turned her head to look at him.

"You're not talking, you're screaming. I'm not someone you can make demands of," she said coldly.

"You're a murderer. You're lucky to be here, and you should show your gratitude by doing everything we tell you to. Do as I say, or..."

"Or?"

"I'll get Papa to send you away."

"Good luck with that."

"Get my dinner."

"I did, you didn't eat, or fetch your food, or ask me to keep it for you, so I got rid of it."

"I'm here now, so get me something to eat."

"Eat at meal times, or not at all."

"What?" shouted a shocked Gabriel. Allen entered the room.

"Make yourselves something to eat, and clean up after yourselves," said Nora. The boys gasped in horror.

"It's not our job to..." said Gabriel.

"Goodnight," said Nora, walking towards the door.

"Get back here! I haven't dismissed you," shouted Gabriel. Nora continued to walk.

"You haven't cooked for us," said Allen, going to block the door.

"Excuse me," said Nora.

"You're not going anywhere till you've fed us," said Gabriel. Nora reached the door, and picked Allen up. He gasped. She put him down gently, and walked away.

"Get back here!" shouted Gabriel.

"What's all this noise about?" asked Joshua, joining them.

"You need to get rid of this..."

"Mind your language, young man," Joshua said coldly.

"You need to bring us someone who'll feed us."

"There was food on the table for you."

"It's gone now." Joshua looked at Nora.

"I've cleaned up," she said.

"We hadn't eaten!" said Gabriel. Nora shrugged, and walked away.

"It's your job to feed us," said Gabriel. Nora stopped and looked at him.

"Boys, as I said, eat at meal times, or ask me to put your food away for you, otherwise I'll assume you're not hungry, and throw it out," she said.

"But..." said Joshua.

"Meal times stand, and if anyone doesn't eat at meal times, they must get their own food, and clean up after themselves. Anyone who doesn't clean up after themselves will eat in dirty dishes at the next meal."

"That's nonsense!" said Gabriel.

"Those are the rules," said Nora.

"They're hungry!" said Joshua.

"If you and I are going to quarrel, we'll do it without an audience. Excuse me," said Nora, as she walked away. She could hear Joshua following her to their bedroom.

He banged the door as he entered the room. Nora turned to look at him.

"I put food on the table, and those boys didn't come to eat, or ask me to put their food away. It's not my fault that they chose not to eat. I'm not feeding them now," she said.

"They're hungry!"

"They can make sandwiches, or get something from the fridge."

"You have to..."

"If you feel that sorry for them, make a plan."

"A mother feeds her children!"

"I put food on the table, and Peter ate. Why didn't his brothers eat? Waiting on them is not something I'm prepared to do." Joshua glared at Nora, then he left. Nora sat down, exhausted. Families are too much work, she thought, then she sent her CV to more places.

Next day at work, she discovered that her personal email had been tampered with. Someone had gone into her mailbox, read her emails, and defaced some of them. She felt cold in her stomach. When she returned home, Gabriel gave her a self-satisfied look, and she knew that he was the one that had tampered with her emails. She relaxed, and decided to get a new email account. She remembered all the places that she had emailed, and decided to contact them from a public phone if she needed to.

Gabriel and Allen did not come to dinner. After the meal, Peter asked Nora to check his homework, and she did so. When she went to the bedroom, she asked Joshua about his day, but he did not respond. She asked several questions, to which he did not respond. She realised that he had not talked to her at breakfast, at dinner, or at any other time. He was no longer talking to her. She shrugged, she would not beg him to talk to her, and anyway, it would make leaving easier. Peter was the only one that she would miss.

Next day, she opened a new email account, using names and details that Gabriel would never connect with her. Over the week, she followed up on her applications, and sent out more. She took a few hours off work as she applied for her passport using the normal route, then she returned home later than usual, having worked the hours that she had been out of the office.

"Where were you?" asked Joshua, as she entered the house. She looked from him to the boys.

"I asked you a question," said Joshua. Nora looked at him.

"When did we start talking to each other?" she returned.

"Where were you?"

"Does it matter?"

"Mama, we've already eaten," said Peter.

"Hi, Peter, hi everyone. I'm sorry I'm late, I was working," said Nora.

"Are you expecting us to feed you?" asked Allen.

"No, I'll feed myself, and clean up after myself."

"You haven't told me where you were," said Joshua.

"She was at work, Papa. Mama, can you check my homework?" asked Peter.

"Of course, shouldn't you be in bed?" asked Nora.

"I was waiting for you." Nora put an arm round his shoulders, and walked him to his bedroom.

"Phone me if I come home late, but don't wait up for me. You need to be fully rested for your lessons," she said, then she checked his work. Afterwards, she went to the bedroom that she was sharing with Joshua.

"Where were you?" he asked.

"At work," she said tiredly.

"I don't believe you." Nora decided that she was too tired to get into it. She showered, then she slept. When she woke up, Joshua was sitting beside her, watching her.

"I thought you liked me," he said.

"I did."

"Did you stop?"

"I'm not sure."

"What does that mean?" Nora sat up.

"It means I didn't know that we give each other the silent treatment when we're angry with each other. Will you stop talking to me every time we disagree about something?" she asked. He did not respond.

"Well, Joshua?" she prompted.

"You starved my sons!"

"I tried to teach them discipline!"

"They were hungry!"

"They should have come to dinner!" They glared at each other. Nora's alarm clock rang. She switched it off, and went to get cleaned up.

She was leaving for work, when Peter asked her for her phone number. She looked at him, enquiringly.

"You said I could phone you if I wanted to," he said. She gave him her business card, and left. Several people phoned her acknowledging receiving her CV, and asking for more details from her. She decided that she would take leave as soon as her passport came out, go for interviews overseas, and resign on her return. She would take any job that she was offered, as long as it was out of the country.

She was home in time for dinner. Allen and Gabriel had friends over. Nora could feel the visiting boys watching her. She started to feel self-conscious, then she reminded herself that she had been exposed to unbearable hostility during her trial, she was not going to be intimidated by a couple of school boys. She asked them about school, and their hobbies, and they talked freely. They liked talking to her, but Allen and Gabriel were not happy with them for not treating her as if she was wicked. When dinner ended, the visiting boys took their dishes to the kitchen. Nora complimented them, and thanked them for doing that. She excused herself, and went to check Peter's homework.

When she was done, she joined everyone else in the lounge. Joshua was watching the boys who were playing computer games. As soon as Nora sat down, two out of the four visiting boys opted out of the games, and sat talking to her about themselves. Nora found their attention interesting and sweet. She realised however, that Allen and Gabriel did not see things the same way. She faked a yawn and excused herself. Joshua joined her in their bedroom and sat watching her as she climbed into bed.

"Are you cheating on me?" he asked. Nora stared at him in shock.

"No! Why would I ask for trouble in that fashion? I don't like men, I'd never..."

"I got intelligence that you're seeing another man."

"You'll believe that, and doubt me?"

"I'm not saying...I...I don't know."

"I'm not cheating. If I see any man, it's about work, not about sex."

"Okay."

"I don't appreciate being asked if I'm cheating on you."

"Nora..."

"I don't know what kind of women you spent time with, but I avoid trouble, and having more than one man at a time, to me, is asking for trouble. Are you having me followed?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Do you want me to?" Nora looked away from him.

"Peter's sweet," she said. Joshua did not respond.

"I'm going to miss him," Nora said to herself.

"Miss him?" said Joshua. Nora cursed herself for speaking out loud.

"I've never had anyone want to be my child. He'll grow out of it at some stage, and join his brothers in thinking I'm evil incarnate. I'll miss his sweetness then," she said. Joshua nodded.

"Aren't you coming to sleep?" asked Nora.

"I have work to do. Thank you for leaving when you did, the boys weren't taking well to the response of their friends to you."

"I know. Good night."

The boys' friends left the following day.

# CHAPTER SEVEN

Three weeks later, Nora's passport came out. She felt joyous about having it, but she also felt sorrow at leaving the man who had been good to her, and the son who would have made parenting worthwhile for her. That night, she dined alone. Joshua and the boys had gone to watch a movie.

The following day was a Saturday, and she worked half day. When she knocked off, she found Joshua waiting at her car outside her place of work.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm asking the questions," he said, in his head of correctional services voice. Nora stepped back, wondering what he was upset about.

"Are you planning on leaving me?" he demanded. She frowned at him.

"I got two calls from associates overseas asking for references," he said. Nora wanted to scream. She had not put him down as a reference, but she should have known that he was connected, even outside the country.

"Well?" he demanded.

"I've applied for jobs outside the country," she said.

"You didn't tell me, or consult me!" he shouted.

"Calm down."

"I won't calm down when you plan on leaving your family." Nora looked away from him.

"Aren't you going to defend yourself?" asked Joshua.

"I want to do what's best for all of us," she said.

"By leaving? How is that best for anyone?"

"You and I need never fight about the boys again. Gina..."

"Leave her out of it."

"Joshua, I don't want to live in a home of constant conflict." Joshua gave her a long look, then he leaned on her car.

"What about Peter?" he asked. Nora looked away from him, blinking back tears.

"I'm going to miss him," she said.

"You're going to break his heart."

"Don't say that!"

"He loves you, you told me that. His teacher says he talks about you all the time. Do you care so little for him that..."

"Stop! I care about him, you know I do."

"Then how can you leave?"

"His brothers..."

"This is about him."

"I want to save us all from fights."

"I want us to work on our marriage, by agreeing on how to treat the boys, and making a stable family for them, and ourselves."

"I can't be their maid and housekeeper."

"You don't have to be."

"We'll always fight about how I discipline them."

"No, we won't."

"You think I'm too harsh."

"I did think that. The boys ran to tell Belinda all about it, and she told me that you were right."

"What?"

"She told me something I didn't want to admit, that the boys are unruly, and need discipline. She helped me to see that your waiting on them was going to cause problems in future. Whatever you decide to do about them, I support you." Nora stared at him in disbelief.

"I mean it, Nora. I want my boys to make it in the world, spoilt brats are nothing but trouble to themselves and everyone around them. I admit to spoiling the boys because I felt guilty for working so much, but I want to fix that now. I want to be proud of them, in all areas, at all times. I'll do my part in disciplining them," he said. Nora was amazed by the sincerity she read on his face.

"Stay, Nora," he continued. She looked away from him.

"Don't you want to stay?" he asked.

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?" Nora looked at him.

"I've organised interviews, and I want to go to them," she said.

"Will you come back?"

"Of course."

"Why?"

"Because I like you, and I love Peter, and with us working together, I'll get to a place where I love Gabriel and Allen too. I'd like to love them as I love Peter." Joshua nodded.

"I'll see you at home," he said.

Several days later, Nora went overseas for two weeks, going to interviews, and going sightseeing. Most people lost interest once she spoke of her criminal record, but she was boosted by the fact that she would have got three of the six jobs she was interviewing for, if not for her record.

When she returned, Joshua and Peter met her at the airport. She hugged each of them with great love. Peter became embarrassed. Joshua loved her hug. At home, she gave everyone a gift. Peter and Joshua were pleasantly surprised. Gabriel and Allen were shocked, and stared at the gifts suspiciously. Nora did not take offence, she was just glad to be home.

She was in the bath tub when she started crying. She tried not to make noise, and failed.

"Nora? Nora, what is it?" asked Joshua. He joined her in the tub, and held her. She held him tight, and wept until she was done.

"Do you want to talk?" asked Joshua.

"I never knew how great it is to have people who care whether or not I die," she said. He looked at her quizzically.

"I missed you, all of you, even Allen and Gabriel. When I saw you at the airport, it just came to me how close I'd come to missing out on family when I was thinking of leaving. I don't want to leave, Joshua, ever." Joshua smiled, then he kissed her gently.

"Call me Josh," he said. Nora nodded, and looked him over.

"You're wet, and you're dressed! Joshua, how could you get into the tub with your clothes on?" she asked.

"You needed me." Nora gave him a long look.

"Yes. I needed you, and you were here for me," she said.

"I want to always be there for you."

"Thank you. I want to be there for you too. Could you leave now, I'm feeling embarrassed." Josh smiled, climbed out of the tub, stripped, and left the room.

Nora rebuked herself for running her eyes over his body. She was not interested in sex, and the sooner her mind and body got the message, the better things would be all round.

She finished bathing, and found Josh in the bedroom.

"You look beautiful," he said. Nora frowned.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

"Excuse me?"

"Just tell me what you want, instead of trying to butter me up, or hoodwink me."

"I don't want anything."

"Then why did you say I'm beautiful?"

"Because you are!" They glared at each other.

"I'm your husband, I'm allowed to tell you that," said Josh. Nora gave him a long look, and nodded.

"Sorry. Those words make me feel cold. In my experience, they come before something nasty," she explained.

"Come to bed," said Josh.

Next morning, Gabriel and Allen's friends returned to stay for several days. Nora made a big breakfast for everyone. Peter and the guests complimented her on her cooking. She smiled, touched, then she offered to drive Peter to his holiday lessons. He stared at her.

"You don't want me to take you?" she asked.

"Of course I want you to take me. Thank you, Mama. I'll get my things," he said, as he rushed out of the room. Nora smiled after him, then she went to get her keys and handbag in the bedroom.

"Thank you," said Josh, joining her.

"For what?"

"A great breakfast, and for offering to take Peter to his lessons. I think he'll like being with you more than he likes going with the driver."

"I'm happy to. What time does he finish?"

"He has maths at nine, then at one, he has music."

"Okay, I can shop, or read while I wait for him. I'm thinking of getting plants for inside the house, is that alright?"

"Of course."

"And some more pictures for the walls."

"Do what you think best."

"Can I have a picture of you and the boys? That place above the fireplace needs a family portrait."

"The family includes you. I'll hire a photographer and tell everyone to be ready for a family portrait on Saturday."

"That will be nice, thank you."

"Thank you, for thinking of it."

Nora read while she waited for Peter at his first lesson, then she went to a nursery while he was at music. She found the plants that she wanted, but she needed more. She went to fetch Peter.

"What are those plants for?" he asked.

"The house. I need more."

"I know where we can go," he said, then he directed her. The nursery was owned by the father of one of his school mates. Nora bought what she needed, then they went home. The visiting boys helped to bring the plants into the house, and to put them where Nora wanted them. They agreed with Peter that the house looked better for them.

"Are you cooking tonight, Mrs Mkhuba? Can I help you?" asked one of the boys. He was Gabriel's friend, Noel. Nora gave him a surprised look.

"I always help Mama at home," he said.

"Alright. I'll start cooking in thirty minutes," she said. She showered, then she went to the kitchen. The staff had cooked dinner. She dismissed them, put away the food that they had cooked, and looked at the available ingredients.

"What are we making?" asked Noel, joining her.

"A pie, but I'm short of ingredients, I'll have to go to the shop for them."

"Gabe and I will go." Nora looked at Noel doubtfully.

"Give us the money, and a list of what we need, and we'll go and get it." Nora wrote a list, and gave it and money to Noel, then she started thinking about heating the food that the staff had cooked. There was no way Gabriel would do anything to help her. She waited an hour, then she went to the kitchen.

"Here we are, sorry we're late. Gabe insisted we go to the best grocer in the area," said Noel, putting packets on the table. Gabriel was behind him, also carrying packets.

"Thank you, boys," said Nora. Noel smiled, Gabriel pretended not to hear. Nora noticed Noel nudging him.

"You're welcome," he said begrudgingly.

"I hope you can show me how to get to the shop sometime, these veggies are very fresh," she said to him. He left the room.

She and Noel made a light tea for everyone to tide them over until supper, which was later than usual, then they started on dinner. Finally, the food was ready. Nora set everything up in the kitchen, then Noel went to call everyone to eat.

"It smells great in here," said Peter. Everyone sat down, and tucked in hungrily. The guests thanked Nora after the meal, and insisted on doing the dishes, since she had cooked.

"Go, we'll take care of this, aunty," said Noel.

"Yes, aunty, go," said Allen's friend, Thula. Nora thanked them, and left the kitchen.

"The plants look good," said Josh, as he joined her in the lounge.

"Thank you. How was your day?"

"Alright."

"But? Josh?"

"Your stepbrother's suing me for breach of contract. It's going to get ugly."

"I'm sorry, for your sake. If you can ruin him, you have my blessing."

"Mama! That's not nice," said Peter from the door.

"No, it isn't. It's just that..."

"You must forgive him." Nora looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

"Papa says we have to forgive each other, no matter what. He says hating people is what makes the world have mean people. Isn't that right, Papa?" said Peter. Nora looked from him to Josh.

"Forgiveness lets you heal and get over the pain," he said. Nora noticed that all the boys were in the room, and stopped herself from snorting in disbelief.

"We brought dessert, aunty," said Noel.

"Thank you," she said. The boys had brought ice cream and cookies. They gave Nora and Joshua theirs, then they sat down, eating. Afterwards, Nora put the dishes on a tray. Peter carried it to the kitchen for her, and said that he would do his homework as she cleaned up. She was surprised when he brought his work to the kitchen.

"Your work will get dirty," she said.

"I'll be careful, Mama. I want to be with you." Nora felt a lump in her throat. No one had ever wanted to be with her. When she was done, she sat at the table as Peter finished his work, then she checked it for him. He smiled when he kissed her cheek, and she kissed his in return.

On Saturday, the photographer arrived after breakfast. Allen and Gabriel grumbled about having to dress up, but they did dress up. The photographer arrived and Nora said she wanted the pictures taken outside, as the gazebo was the perfect setting for a family portrait.

The photographer arranged everyone, and took several individual pictures of each family member. After that he took pictures of Allen and his friends, and of Gabriel and his friends. Nora had him take pictures of Josh and his boys, and of Josh and his boys and their friends. Josh said something had been forgotten. Nora looked at him quizzically.

"A picture of you and Papa, Mama," said Peter.

"Oh!" said Nora.

"Come," said Josh. The boys left his side, Nora went to stand beside him. She felt self-conscious. The photographer had to tell her how to stand, how to sit, and to smile.

When he was done, he said that he would bring the developed pictures on Monday evening for them to see, and for Nora to choose for enlargement the one that would be put over the fireplace. She thanked him, and Josh saw him off.

"Thank you for arranging that," Nora said to him when he returned to the house.

"I was happy to. Thank you for including the boys' friends."

"They're a good influence. In my eyes, they _are_ family."

"When did they start calling you aunty?"

"I don't ask the boys to call me Mrs Mkhuba, it felt odd hearing their friends call me that. How's it going with Gordon?"

"Not well, for him. What you said when he was here led the deputy minister of labour to conduct an investigation into his companies. They found the kinds of things that no one should ever do. The companies have been closed down, and the staff are angry because they're not getting paid. I've offered to rehabilitate the companies so the people can keep working and earning money."

"Thank you."

"Forgive Gordon." Nora snorted and changed the subject.

"I'm serious, Nora," said Josh. Nora shook her head slowly.

"I don't know that I can," she said.

"Think about it sometimes," he said, watching her with love. She looked down, taken by surprise.

"Will you think about it sometimes?" he asked. She nodded. He kissed her cheek, and left. She closed her eyes, hoping that she would not get hurt, and that she would not hurt Josh.

Next day, Josh and the boys went to church. After lunch, Josh drove Allen's friends to their homes, after asking Nora to drive Gabriel's friends to their homes.

"Gabriel won't like that," she had said.

"I've talked to him. I told him you had to do it, because you and I are responsible for those boys."

"Okay." Peter joined her, Gabriel and his friends. The parents of the friends all stared at Nora, then Nora drove back home. Gabriel told her about the last gold medal that he had won for swimming. She congratulated him, and asked him why he was not swimming. He said that he was resting for three months, then he would start training again.

Next day, Nora returned to work. She felt more relaxed, and nothing that anyone said upset her. She decided that she would not look for work elsewhere. She liked her job, the pay was fabulous, and she saw herself as partly looking after Josh's interests.

The photographer brought the pictures, and Nora chose the one that had to be enlarged for the fireplace. She also chose other pictures to be enlarged and hung up in other parts of the house. They were mainly pictures of the boys, and one of the boys with Josh. Josh chose pictures of him and Nora to be enlarged, then he asked for several copies to be made of the boys together.

Next evening, Nora found a man in the lounge. He smiled, she could not remember his name, but he looked familiar.

"I'm Toby, Josh's brother," he said.

"Oh, yes, how are you, uncle?" she greeted.

"Fine, thank you, and you?"

"Fine."

"I need a place to stay."

"Of course."

"I'm getting a divorce."

"Oh! I'm so sorry."

"It's for the best."

"Are you sure?"

"Very. Can I stay here a while?"

"It's fine with me. Talk to Josh when he comes."

"I've talked to him, he said its fine, I just want to clear it with you."

"Of course you can stay." The boys were excited to see their uncle. Josh joined the family as Toby was talking about his coming divorce. The boys became very quiet and thoughtful.

"People should never get divorced. If you get divorced again, Papa, I'll...I'll..." said Allen.

"I don't want to get divorced again," said Josh.

"Neither do I," said Nora. Allen nodded.

Having Toby in the home seemed to make Josh sad. He would watch him sadly, and spend hours alone, refusing to join the boys for outings, or do anything with them. Nora knocked on the study door a week later.

"I'm busy," shouted Josh. Nora opened the door and entered the room.

"I said..." Josh said aggressively.

"I don't appreciate your tone," said Nora.

"What are you doing here?" demanded Josh.

"I need to talk to you."

"Can't it wait? I'm very busy."

"It's waited too long as it is."

"What is it?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Excuse me?"

"I will, once I know what's going on."

"What are you talking about?"

"You, neglecting the boys. Did they do something to annoy you?"

"No!"

"Then why are you ignoring them?"

"I'm not!"

"They miss you."

"Are you telling me how to be a parent?" demanded Josh.

"Yes!"

"Stop it!"

"Pull your weight, and I will." They glared at each other. Josh looked away from Nora.

"What's the matter? Does it have something to do with Toby?" she asked. He looked at her, surprised by her question.

"You were fine until he came. Did you two fight?" asked Nora.

"No!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"Leave it."

"I won't leave anything that makes the father of my children neglect them." Josh stared at her.

"What?" she said.

"You said 'my children'," he said.

"Yeah, so?" Josh smiled.

"I like that you think of them as yours."

"That doesn't tell me what the problem is." Josh stopped smiling.

"I don't think Toby should be here," he said.

"Oh, then ask him to leave."

"He cheats on his wife, and he thinks women are toys. I don't want him teaching the boys that, or for them to look up to him as the height of manhood. Has he made a pass at you?"

"No!" Josh gave her a long look, and nodded.

"Tell him to go, and tell him why you're sending him away," said Nora. Josh did not respond.

"Stop neglecting the boys. I don't want them joining gangs, or doing drugs because you ignore them," said Nora, then she left.

She checked Peter's homework, then she joined Toby and the elder boys in the lounge. They were huddled together, Toby was saying something. He noticed her, and stopped talking. She sat down, noticing the boys watching her. She assumed that she had interrupted something, because they all gave her go-away looks, which she ignored. She asked Toby about his work as an architect, and he talked about it without much interest. The boys left the room, disgusted with Nora for not leaving as they had wanted her to. She watched Toby, who was watching her.

"You're very beautiful," he said. She felt cold, and looked away from him. He moved to sit beside her. She moved away from him.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"You tell me," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"What were you telling the boys?"

"Nothing!"

"Then why did you all want me to leave? What were you telling them?"

"It's none of your business." Nora gasped.

"I can't believe you said that! Those are my children, and I have every right to know what's being said to them," she said.

"They're not your children, they belong to me and Josh. Don't you know that children belong to the father? Mothers are just...trash. Women are trash." Nora gasped, feeling a deep pain inside.

"You may as well accept it. Your having a job doesn't make you a person, it simply means you're more useful, because you bring money. Women should be killed at birth." Nora started crying, great big sobs that she tried hard to stop.

"What's the matter? Nora? What did you do to her?" Josh demanded of Toby as he entered the room. Nora watched him shrug, and look away without interest.

"Get out," said Josh. Nora made to stand.

"Not you! Tobias, get your things, and get out," said Josh.

"Me?" said an outraged Toby.

"You! How dare you come into my home, upset my wife, and teach my sons nonsense about women!"

"I'm teaching them to be men!"

"That's my job! Go and teach the children you left in every city and village you've ever been to." Toby glared at Josh, and stood.

"If you let that woman pull you by the nose, it's your fault. You should control her," he said.

"The way you controlled Yvette, so that she's divorcing you?"

"Shut up!"

"Get out! And don't speak to my sons, ever!" Toby stormed out of the room.

"Are you alright?" asked Josh.

"See Toby off," said Nora, then she closed her eyes and told herself to stop crying. It was not as if Toby was the first person to call her trash. She put a hand on her chest, feeling the pain of the words as if they were physically hurting her. When she was done cleaning her face in the bathroom, she heard raised voices.

"I told her the truth!" shouted Toby.

"What truth is that?" demanded Josh.

"That she's trash, like every single woman."

"You still talk utter rubbish, Tobias."

"We're all taught that women are there for _our_ comfort and _our_ convenience. We own the world, and they're what we use when we want to, and toss out when we're done with."

"Get out, Tobias. Get out, and don't ever come spouting that...that disgusting nonsense to my wife, or to my sons."

"They need someone to help them be men, instead of being henpecked like you."

"Get out," Josh said coldly.

"I'm going. No doubt I can find someone reasonable to put me up, instead of a big baby who gets upset when his wife is brought down to size. You should thank me." Nora heard the unmistakable sound of a fist fight.

"No," she whispered, as she ran to the men. They were outside the front door, punching at each other viciously.

"Stop it! Stop it," she shouted over and over again, but they did not seem to hear her. Josh got the upper hand and beat Toby until he was on his knees.

"Get...out," he panted. Toby picked himself up and staggered to his car, dragging his belongings. He climbed in with them, and drove off.

# CHAPTER EIGHT

Nora realised that the boys had been watching. They were standing at the front door, with horror on their faces. She joined Josh outside, and took his hand. He looked at her.

"Come inside," she said.

"I..."

"The boys are watching." Josh closed his eyes, then he opened them. Nora led him into the house and closed the door. The boys were watching their father.

"I've sent your uncle away because I disagree with him about how women should be treated," he said. The boys did not respond.

"I lost my temper and we got into a fight. It's too late to tell you never to do that, but I'm saying it anyway. Fighting solves nothing. The only thing it got me and your uncle, is pain. I don't feel better for hitting my brother, I'm not proud of myself, and I'm not proud of him. I hope that the three of you will be better men than we two, and resolve your differences with respect," continued Josh. Still, the boys were quiet.

"If you want to know about women, ask us. Whatever your uncle told you, verify it with me before taking it as the truth," said Josh. Still, the boys were quiet.

"Go to bed now," he said. The boys left. Nora took Josh to the nearest bathroom, and cleaned the places where he was bleeding.

"I'll get ice, you have bruises," she said, leaving the room.

"Mama, I'm scared," said Peter. Nora put her arms round him.

"It's fine, Papa's fine, and so is Uncle," she said.

"I didn't like it."

"I know, I didn't like it either."

"Really?"

"Really. I'm getting an icepack for Papa, do you want to help me?"

"Yes." They went to the kitchen to prepare the icepack, then they took it to Josh.

"I thought I told you to go to sleep," said Josh.

"I'm scared," said Peter. Josh held the icepack in place.

"I'm sorry son, I didn't mean to scare you," he said. Peter put his arms round him. Josh winced, and held him.

"I'll see you to bed," said Nora.

"I can go," said Peter.

"Keep the light on, if you like." Peter left. Nora unbuttoned Josh's shirt, there were several bruises on his belly. She went to make more icepacks. Josh gasped as the ice came into contact with his skin.

"You should take a long hot bath," said Nora. Josh nodded.

"Come and use our bathroom, then you can get straight into bed after your bath," Nora said, helping him to his feet. She guided him to their bathroom, ran the bath for him, then she left.

She sat on the bed hoping that Toby was alright. She did not want him in an accident. She went to the kitchen to wash the towels that had been icepacks, and found the boys in there.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Is Papa alright?" asked Gabriel.

"He's taking a hot bath, he'll be fine."

"We want to see him."

"Okay. I'll wash these, then I'll go and tell him. Dress warmly, you'll catch colds if you don't." Nora was pleasantly surprised when the boys left the room. She washed the towels and hung them up. The boys returned, warmly dressed.

"Do you want tea?" she asked.

"We want Papa," said Allen. Nora went to the bedroom. Josh was dressing.

"The boys want to see you," she said.

"I told them to go to bed."

"They're worried about you."

"But..."

"You're the only parent they have, let them see that you're alright." Josh finished dressing, and Nora followed him to the kitchen.

"Hi, boys," he said.

"Hi," the boys said in a subdued tone.

"I'm fine," he said, sitting down. Nora made tea, and put it on the table. Everyone drank it in silence.

"It was selfish of me to get into a fight. I'm sorry, I won't do it again. I didn't think about how this would affect you, or your mother. I didn't mean to make any of you worry," said Josh. No one responded.

"It's time to sleep now," continued Josh. All the boys hugged him, and left the room.

"You need to rest," said Nora. Josh nodded tiredly.

"Do you want painkillers?"

"I'll be fine," said Josh.

"There's no shame in taking them."

"I'll be fine." Nora helped him to their room, and into their bed, then she joined him. When she woke up, she was in his arms. She was surprised by that discovery, and by discovering that she did not want to move. It felt good to be held close. She shifted into a more comfortable position.

"Are you alright?" asked Josh.

"Of course. Are you alright? Josh?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I haven't slept though."

"Because of the pain? I'll..."

"Because of guilt, and worry. I hope Tobias didn't get into an accident."

"Don't you know people who can find out if his car was in an accident?"

"Yes, I do."

"Phone them."

"I intend to."

"Are you going to work?"

"Of course."

"I don't want you overdoing things." Josh did not respond. Nora's alarm clock rang. She kissed Josh's cheek, and climbed out of bed. She freshened up and went to check on the boys. They were all surprised when she visited each of them in their bedrooms, to ask how they were. Afterwards, she found Josh in the study.

"Have a good day, and take it easy. If you get tired, come home, if you feel pain, take painkillers. Do you hear me?" she said.

"Yes," he smiled. She kissed his cheek, and left. During the day, she phoned him four times, asking how he was doing.

In the evening, she found Toby's car parked outside her home. She ran into the house, afraid for the boys. They were in the lounge, with Josh and Toby.

"Your Uncle and I have apologised to each other, and made peace. We still don't agree about certain things, but we've agreed to differ," said Josh, as Toby nodded. The boys looked between them.

"I have to go, brother," said Toby, getting to his feet. Nora gave a general greeting, and everyone turned to her, and returned her greeting. Josh and the boys saw Toby off. Nora showered, and joined her family for dinner.

"Mama?" said Gabriel. Nora looked at him in shock. He had never addressed her as anything.

"Thank you for the gift you got me from overseas," he said.

"You're welcome," she said.

"Thank you for mine, too," said Allen.

"You're welcome," said Nora. She joined Josh in the study after dinner.

"I'm glad Toby's fine," she said.

"So am I."

"Thank you for showing the boys that you resolved things. You cancelled that violent image from their minds." Josh nodded.

"Thank you for phoning me. I don't think I've ever had a woman phone me that often in one day unless she wanted something."

"I was worried about you. How are you?"

"Fine."

"Are you in pain?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Here, where you haven't kissed me," Josh said, patting his cheek. Nora smiled, relieved that he was not in pain.

She went to his side and bent to kiss his cheek, then she gasped as Josh sat her on his lap. She looked at him, astounded.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi."

"Do you want me to let you go?"

"I don't know."

"Sit here until you decide what you want. I'm making a call, then I'll be with you." Nora nodded. She put an arm round his neck, watching as he dialled a number, and spoke to someone in a foreign language. The call ended, and Josh put the phone on voicemail, then he looked at Nora.

"I think we need to start spending quality time together," he said.

"Oh!" she said, surprised again.

"We need to go on dates, just the two of us, and get to know each other better."

"Oh!"

"It's the only way to decide on policies about the boys, our home, our contacts, and our lovemaking."

"Oh!" said Nora, with a pounding heart. Josh kissed her gently.

"My legs have gone to sleep," he said.

"I'm so sorry," she said, getting to her feet.

"It's not your fault. I wanted you close to me," he said. She nodded.

"I still want that. I liked waking with you in my arms." Nora looked down.

"I liked it too," she said quietly.

"Sit down, we need to talk." Nora went to sit down. Josh stood, took her hand, and had her sit on a two-seater, then he sat beside her.

"Here, we can be close to each other," he said. Nora nodded.

"Gordon's story is in all the papers," he continued.

"Oh."

"There won't be many people who want to be associated with him after this."

"Oh."

"You need to forgive him."

"Joshua!"

"You need to forgive him, and forget about him and the experiences you had with him."

"I..."

"We won't always be celibate. When we make love, I want to be sure that you're with me and giving me a chance to please you, instead of thinking about pain, and being afraid I'll hurt you." Nora bit her lower lip, looking away from Josh.

"Give yourself space to forgive him, and all the men who hurt you, then you can forget about them," he continued.

"That's easy to say, but..." she said.

"I know it's not that easy to do, but you can do it, and if you need help, I'll help you." Nora felt tense. Josh kissed her cheek, and told her about his childhood. She laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks as he told her about how his mother had caught him stealing peanuts, and followed him to the bushes where he had gone to eat them. He described his shock, horror, and fear in a comical manner. Nora cleaned the tears off her cheeks.

"Tell me about you," said Josh. Nora stopped smiling.

"I want to get to know you," continued Josh.

"You do know me."

"Tell me about your childhood."

"It was horrible."

"All the time, or just after you met Gordon?" Nora looked at him in astonishment. She had always associated her childhood with Gordon, but she had only met him when she was seven years old. She thought of the time before that.

"You know, I was happy before Ma remarried. She and my father had been married ten years before I was conceived. He died three months before I was born. We lived with Ma's parents. There were other grandchildren there, and we were like sisters and brothers. One time, we decided one of our neighbours was a witch, so I said we should sneak out at night to watch her going about her work," she said.

"Nora! Was that safe?"

"I doubt it, but we didn't think of that. We hid behind some bushes behind her home. We'd even taken food with us in case we got hungry.

"One of my cousins had borrowed her mother's cross, so the woman wouldn't bewitch us. As we were crouching there, we heard footsteps behind us. We froze. The others asked me what we should do, and I was too scared to think or speak. The footsteps got closer, then there was a spine-chilling whistle. I jumped out of there, and ran all the way home, convinced the witch had called her friends so they could kill us and eat us.

"Thinking about it now, we must have scared the woman's lover, because he called out, and then we heard heavy footsteps. He was probably running from us, as we were running from him."

"Did you ever find out if she was a witch?"

"No. Days later, Ma told me she'd found me a Papa and a brother, and that we were going to live with them. I didn't want to go. I remember crying, and clinging to my grandmother. My cousins cried too. You know, I need to look them up, I never saw them after leaving. I wonder if Ma lost touch with her family," Nora said thoughtfully. She felt a finger caressing her lower lip, and looked at Josh. He was looking at her mouth. He leaned towards her, and kissed her gently. She put her arms round his neck, and kissed him back. The kiss ended.

She opened her eyes when she heard Josh getting to his feet.

"Come back," she said.

"I don't know that I can control myself if we carry on," he said.

"Oh," said Nora glumly, then she stood.

"Where are you going?" asked Josh.

"Don't you want me to leave?"

"No! We'll talk some more, but we won't be sitting beside each other."

"Oh, okay," she said, as she sat down again.

"You once asked me why my first marriage ended," he said, going to sit behind his desk. Nora nodded.

"We married because Gina got pregnant. I wasn't looking for a wife, or even a woman, at that time. I used to think Gina had trapped me by deliberately getting pregnant. Later, I realised I could have looked after Gabriel without marrying his mother," he said.

"Were you and Gina in a relationship?"

"No. She and I ended up in bed at a time when she had just come out of a bad relationship. I was comforting her, but I'd had no plan of getting into bed with her.

"She told me she was pregnant and painted horrid pictures of what her family would do to her if she became an unwed mother. I wasn't looking for a wife, but I wanted to look after my child, so we married, and she insisted on leaving the village with me.

"I worked long hours, very long hours, because that's what my work needed then, but also because I didn't want to be home with Gina. We both knew within days of the marriage that we'd made a mistake. It's amazing that we had Allen and Peter, because we seldom saw each other. She found someone who could pay attention to her, and told me she was leaving, and that was that."

"I'm sorry."

"If she hadn't left, you and I wouldn't be together." They shared a long look, then Nora looked away from him as she started to be excited by his arousal. She stood.

"I'll see you later," he said. She went to lie on their bed, thinking about him, then she decided to think about something that was not going to cause problems. She thought of her cousins, and sat up to write down their names, then she decided to ask Josh to help her to find them.

She arrived home from work that Friday, exhausted.

"Your sister's here, Mama," said Peter.

"My sister? I don't have a sister," she said, frowning.

"Come and see," said Peter, taking her hand, and leading her to the lounge. The woman in there stood. Nora gasped in shock. She had last seen the woman before her almost thirty years before.

"Selina? What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Hi, sister," said Selina.

"What are you doing here?"

"Brother needs your help." Nora laughed in disbelief.

"Mama?" said Peter. He was looking at her with concern. She took the anger off her face.

"Would you excuse us?" she said to him.

"Are you going to be mean to your sister?"

"Peter!"

"Papa and Uncle fought, I don't want you fighting with Aunty. Will you fight with her?" Nora hugged him, and kissed his forehead to lighten his mood.

"I won't fight with her," she said. Peter nodded and left. Nora closed the door behind him, and sat down. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath to try and get over the shock of seeing Selina. She opened her eyes and looked at her. She was watching her.

"You've aged well," said Nora. Selina smiled.

"You look more beautiful with age," she said. Nora looked at her in disbelief.

"Don't you know that you're beautiful? I used to wish to grow up and be as beautiful as you," continued Selina. Nora looked away from her.

"That was a long time ago," she said.

"When you and Ma left, you didn't keep in touch."

"Ma wanted to take you, but your father refused."

"He said she hated me."

"She cried many nights, wishing you were with us."

"Where did you go?"

"We both went into domestic work. I was pregnant, so I didn't work for long."

"You were pregnant? You were a child! How old were you?"

"Sixteen."

"Who had you slept with? Sister?"

"The brother you've come to ask me to help."

"You slept with our brother?"

"He is not my brother!"

"But..."

"He abused me from the time Ma married your father."

"No!"

"Yes. I thought his wife was divorcing him for abusing her child."

"She said that, but..."

"You didn't believe her?"

"No."

"I believe her, because I know exactly what that brother of yours is capable of. I'm sorry, Selina, I can't find it myself to help him, in anyway. It's a legal matter anyway, and there's not much anyone can do. Can we change the subject?" Selina was deep in thought. Nora watched her. Selina must have realised that Nora was quiet, because she looked at her.

"What's the matter? Why are you crying?" she asked.

"You look just like Ma," said Nora, as she cleaned tears off her face.

"Do you think so?" smiled Selina. Nora nodded.

"She was beautiful," said Selina.

"So are you."

"Thank you."

"Are you married?"

"Yes, and I have six children."

"Selina! When did you have time to make that many children? How old are you anyway?"

"I'm thirty six." Nora nodded.

"I'd like you to meet my family," said Selina. Nora smiled, pleasantly surprised.

"I'd love to. As long as you keep your brother from me."

Joshua entered the room, and Nora made the introductions. Dinner was announced and they went to join the boys in the dining room. Joshua introduced the elder boys to Selina. After dinner, Selina said that she would call a cab to take her home.

"Your sister will take you home," said Joshua. Nora looked at him in surprise.

"Go, Maxwell will drive you. I'll phone him," insisted Joshua.

"He might have plans," said Nora.

"He's on call." In minutes, Nora and Selina were being driven to Selina's home.

Nora met Selina's husband, Frank, their boys, Sipho, Eli, Dorian and Edward, and their daughters Clara and Diana. Nora hugged and kissed the children, who were uncomfortable being kissed by a stranger, then she held Selina tight, crying.

"Thank you for remembering Ma," she whispered. Selina kissed her cheek. Nora made her goodbyes, and left.

"Are you alright?" asked Joshua, when she returned home.

"I'm fine."

"Have you been crying?"

"Selina called one of her children Diana, after our mother. I cried because I was happy she wasn't forgotten."

"Come to bed."

Nora was woken by a call in the middle of the night.

"Sisi?" said a voice.

"Selina? Is everything alright?" asked Nora, sitting up.

"I don't know."

"Hold on," said Nora, as she climbed out of bed, and went to the dressing room. She closed the door, and sat down.

"Selina? What is it?" she asked.

"I think Diana's been sexually abused."

"What?" asked Nora, with a pounding heart.

"She's always been a happy child, but lately, she's very quiet and nervous."

"No! She's a baby!"

"I think Brother did it."

"Why do you think that?"

"She changed after she and Clara spent some days at his home." Nora felt her blood go cold.

"Have you asked her?" she asked.

"No, I didn't want to see it. It only crossed my mind after I talked to you."

"Take her to a psychologist and tell him you think she's been abused. Maybe get a female psychologist."

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Frank and his family will blame me."

"You didn't know!"

"He's my brother, they'll think I knew, and took her there for that."

"Talk to Frank, has he noticed that she's changed?"

"Of course. She used to love to sit on his lap, but not since then. Now, she gets nervous if he so much as touches her hand," wept Selina.

"Tell him you think she's been abused, but don't mention your brother."

"I'm scared, Sister, really scared."

"I know, but you have to protect your child. Don't cry, Lina." Selina cried harder.

"What did I say wrong? Tell me, and I'll never say it again," said Nora.

"You called me Lina."

"I'll never do it again."

"You have to, it shows me I've found my big sister. You're the only person in the world who calls me that."

"Talk to Frank, and act quickly. She could be scarred for life if she's not attended to."

"Were you scarred for life? Sister?"

"Yes, Lina, I was."

"I'm so sorry."

"You didn't do anything."

"I wish I could help you."

"You can, by helping Diana. Then I don't have to lie awake, feeling her pain as if it were mine." There was a long silence.

"I'll call you, bye," said Selina, then she cut the call. Nora closed her eyes, thinking of Diana, then she started crying. When she finished, she returned to bed, but she could not sleep.

Over the weekend, she looked up psychologists on the internet, looking for those specialising in sexually abused children. Back at work, she went to see the company psychologist, Norman, asking him to recommend a great child psychologist. Norman gave her a business card.

"Thanks," said Nora, as she stood.

"Have you been helped?" he asked.

"Yes, you just gave me this number."

"I mean, have you talked about your own experiences of abuse?"

"I need this number for my niece."

"Talk to that person yourself. You need help."

"I'm not a child."

"How's your love life?"

"Norman!"

"Get help, Nora, unless you want to divorce Josh. He's a wonderful man, but he's a man, not a god, so he needs..."

"Norman!"

"Get help."

"Good day," said Nora, hastening out of the office.

# CHAPTER NINE

Friday arrived, and Selina had not been in touch. Nora phoned her.

"We can't afford a psychologist," Selina said tearfully.

"I'll pay," said Nora.

"What?"

"I'll pay. I'm family, there's no pride among family. I want that child helped. Can I talk to Frank?"

"No! He doesn't want anyone to know. He hasn't told anyone, not even his family." Nora cursed.

"Sister!" gasped Selina.

"Come to my house for dinner tomorrow," said Nora.

"Nora..."

"Come! And bring your whole family. No excuses. If Frank says no, tell me, and I'll talk to him."

"But..."

"I'm cooking a special meal for my baby sister, and she better come and eat it with her family."

"We..."

"Be here!"

"Okay." After that call, Nora invited Norman and his wife to dinner at her home, then she told him about her conversation with Selina. He said that he would help in whatever way he could. During dinner with her family, Nora announced that her sister and her family were coming to dinner the following evening.

She spent the following day pulling out all the stops in the kitchen. Norman and his wife Milly arrived. An hour after Selina should have arrived, Nora phoned her. She said that Frank had said no, as they could not get back home without public transport. Nora got her family into one car, having asked Maxwell to be on standby for such a situation, then she had Norman and Milly follow in their own car. She rang the doorbell at Selina's. Frank opened the door.

"Nora?" he said.

"I invited you to dinner."

"We couldn't come."

"Did you phone to apologise?"

"I..."

"You couldn't come to the dinner, so the dinner's come to you."

"What do you mean?"

"My family and I need to come in out of this cold."

"Now's not a good time."

"We're here, Frank, and we're not leaving. You don't turn family away. Come in, everyone," said Nora, entering the house uninvited.

She led the boys, who were carrying food, to the kitchen.

"Sister?" said Selina with an astounded look on her face.

"Hi. Boys, put the food on the table. You remember my sister," said Nora. The boys put the food down, greeted Selina, and left the room. Selina put her arms round Nora, weeping.

"He just told his family, they say I should have looked after her better," she said.

"Don't worry, your big sister's here, and she'll sort things out for you. Let's dish up and take the food in," said Nora. She and Selina dished up, and took the food to the lounge. Milly was sitting on the floor with other women, Norman and Joshua were sitting on chairs with the other men. Frank introduced Nora as Selina's sister, then he introduced his mother, two paternal aunts, and four paternal uncles. Nora and Selina passed out plates of food and glasses of water, then they went to prepare food for the children.

"I'll go and call them," said Nora. She found the children, and took them to the lounge to greet the adults. Frank was annoyed to have children brought to a room full of adults. Nora introduced all the children to all the adults, then she asked the girls to fill the glasses with water. Clara was confident, Diana was more diffident, preferring to serve the women. Norman asked her to pour water for him. She gave him a long look, then she took a while to get to him. She poured the water from a safe distance, and made sure to avoid touching his hand.

As the girls left, Frank touched them each on the shoulder. Diana shrank from his touch. Nora followed the children to the kitchen. She was glad to see that they were all chatting as if they had always known each other. They washed their hands, took their plates, and left the room. Diana sat beside her mother. Nora talked to her, and in a short while, she was sitting beside Nora, laughing as Nora told her stories about her childhood. Frank walked into the room and Diana seemed to shrink into herself. Frank glared at Selina, and asked for more water.

"I'll bring it," said Nora.

"No! I don't want you to go," Diana said emphatically. Her parents were shocked by her passion.

"You can come and help me," said Nora. Diana looked at her doubtfully.

Nora took her hand and started walking, she was glad that Diana followed her. In the lounge, Nora kept a hold on Diana's hand. Diana felt secure enough to pour water for Frank, Norman, and another man. Nora led her out.

"That was great, you're very clever, and you didn't spill a single drop," she said. Diana smiled. In the kitchen, she helped with cleaning the dishes that the children had brought. When Selina went to fetch dishes from the lounge, Diana insisted on going with her. She helped to clean up the kitchen, then she said that she was going to find her sister. Selina hugged Nora.

"Thank you for making her speak up. She hasn't wanted anything since she came back from Brother's home, she just goes with things, but expresses no interest. Today, she wanted something, and spoke out," she said.

"Let's join the others," said Nora. Selina balked.

"I won't let them eat you, neither will Joshua. He's big and strong, and he has connections, no one will dare hurt you with us in your corner," said Nora. Selina led the way to the lounge.

"Were you with your children every moment of every day?" asked Norman.

"No, but..." said a man.

"Mothers have work to do, they can't be watching their children all the time. Sometimes they have to go where children can't go, then they ask other people to look after their children. Blaming a mother if a child is abused helps no one and is unjust. The thing to do is get the child to talk to a psychologist, so she understands that the abuse wasn't her fault, and so that in the end, she can make a good marriage and keep it."

Nora watched Selina look about the room. No one was looking at her, they were all looking at Norman. He talked about the kind of help available, then he said that he and Milly had to leave. Nora stood to see them out. Josh shook his head, Nora sat down. Joshua and Frank saw Milly and Norman out. There was a silence while they were gone.

"I hope they take that child to get help," said Frank's mother.

"You must talk sense into him, you know how stubborn he can be," an uncle said.

"My grandchild will get help, and I want her to be happily married. If they don't have money, I'll sell some goats. Do you hear that, Francis? I'll sell goats and anything else I need to, to get help for my grandchild. She'll get help, even if I have to steal her and take her to the doctor myself," said his mother, as he and Josh returned.

"You will take the child to a doctor?" asked an uncle.

"Yes," said Frank.

"Do you need money?"

"Uncle!"

"Don't be coy, child. We all want that child helped. If you need money, tell us. I'm phoning in a month, and if you haven't got help for her, you'll answer to me, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Uncle."

"Daughter-in-law, thank you for the food. We have to go now," said Uncle. The children were called to say bye to the extended family, who then left.

"We have to go," said Nora.

"Thank you for coming," said Selina.

"Phone me, tell me how she's doing."

"I will." Frank thanked Josh and Nora for coming, then Nora and her family left. At home, the boys went straight to sleep.

"That was smart," said Josh.

"What?"

"Going to your sister's. Did you know about Diana?"

"Selina told me the day she came here."

"Frank's family wanted him to dissolve the marriage..." Nora gasped.

"...and get a woman who'd look after the children properly."

"That's terrible!" said Nora.

"Norman saved the day by explaining that it's not the parents' fault if a child is abused. He asked them why all the children hadn't been abused if Selina was that careless. As you heard, the family wants Diana taken to a psychologist. I think she'll be fine."

"I hope so. Thank you for being game to go there."

"You were in a take-no-prisoners mood. Even Frank could see that closing the door on you would make you break it down. You're very sexy when you're taking charge." Nora smiled.

"Most men hate when I take charge," she said.

"Take charge anytime you want to," said Josh.

A week later, Selina phoned Nora, crying.

"Is it Diana?" asked Nora. Her heart had seemed to stop.

"No, it's Frank's family."

"What have they done?"

"They say if I associate with you, my marriage will end."

"Why?" asked Nora, knowing the reason.

"They say no one will speak to them if they're known to be related to a murderer." Nora closed her eyes, feeling tears in them.

"It's okay, Lina. We lost touch long ago, anyway," she said.

"No, Sister, don't say that."

"It's true."

"I've just lost my brother, I can't lose you, too."

"Well, I can take care of myself, your children need you, so we have to..."

"No!" Selina said firmly, and cut the call. Nora phoned her several times that day, and over the next few days, but Selina would not answer her phone.

Schools opened. Josh told Nora that he was glad that Allen had decided against going to boarding school. Nora was pleasantly surprised by how much more polite Allen and Gabriel had become. She asked them to give her regards to the friends that she had met. Peter returned from school glum. His best friend had died in a car accident over the holidays, and he had not been notified.

"We can go to his grave to say goodbye," said Nora.

"It's too late, Mama," he said. Nora felt bad for him. He was miserable throughout the week. Over the weekend, Nora took him to his late friend's family. She told them how upset he was, and they apologised profusely, saying that they had all been in shock. They had not omitted to notify Peter, things had happened quickly, in another country, and when they had returned, they had just wanted to be alone. Peter forgave them and offered his condolences. They gave him one of his late friend's favourite action figures, saying that they were sure he would have wanted Peter to have it.

"Peter looks better. Thank you for taking him to speak to his friend's family," said Josh. Nora smiled at him, then she told him about the two week trip to Cape Town that she would be taking. He nodded.

"I'm going to miss you," he said.

"I'll miss you, too." Josh and the boys saw Nora to the airport. She held back tears as she hugged them in turn. She phoned them daily on her first week away, but during the second week, she was too busy, and too exhausted to phone them. She returned home a day early, arriving just before the boys returned from school.

"Mama, you're back!" shouted Peter, when Nora met the boys at the front door. She hugged him, and greeted the other two boys.

"I've made snacks, they're in the dining room," she said.

"Yay!" said Peter, racing to the dining room. Nora found the boys eating as if they had been starving for months.

"Thank you, Mama, that was great," said Allen.

"You're welcome," said Nora, then she went to make dinner.

"Papa, Mama's back," she heard Peter say in the late afternoon.

"She's coming tomorrow," said Josh.

"She's in the kitchen, go and see." Nora heard hasty footsteps approaching the kitchen. She washed her hands, and dried them. She smiled when Josh walked into the room. He stared at her as if he could not believe his eyes.

"Hi," she said. He walked to her, put his arms round her, and kissed her deeply. She felt weak in the knees when the kiss ended.

"I missed you so much," he panted.

"I missed you, too," panted Nora.

"Where's my wife?" demanded a man. Nora and Josh released each other, and looked at the kitchen door. Frank was standing there, and the boys were behind him.

"Your wife?" said Nora.

"Selina. Where is she? Are you hiding her?"

"No!"

"Where is she?"

"We don't know," said Selina, walking past Frank, to go and hug Nora.

"Hi, Sister," she said.

"Selina!" said Frank. Selina released Nora.

"Frank, we don't know where your wife is. We don't even know who she is," she said.

" _You'_ re my wife."

"You said our marriage would end if I kept contact with my sister. As you see, I'm very much in contact with her. Send the divorce papers here."

"Divorce papers?"

"What does it mean when someone says a marriage is over? It means they want a divorce."

"I don't want a divorce!"

"I don't want to be with someone who forbids me to see my family. You have a family, I've never said you can't see any of your relatives that steal, or lie or cheat."

"They're not murderers!"

"Neither is my sister! She's out of jail. Why would she be free if the state thought that she was a murderer?" They glared at each other, then Frank looked at Nora, before looking back at Selina.

"The children miss you," he said.

"And you don't think I miss them? I miss them, but I won't be put in a position where I have to choose. I can have my sister, my husband, and my children. You have parents, uncles, and other family. Nora's all I have. I'm not sacrificing her."

"My family..."

"I think you and I should talk," Josh said to Frank. Frank looked at him as if he was mad.

"I'm talking to my wife!" he said.

"Let's go," said Josh, leading Frank out of the room. Frank turned to look at Selina, then he left. The boys had also left.

"What's going on?" asked Nora.

"I thought you were coming tomorrow."

"I finished early, because I missed my family." Selina put down her handbag.

"What are you making?" she asked.

"What's going on?" returned Nora.

"I left."

"Why?"

"Because I refuse to choose. Frank's family talk of replacing me anytime they think I've stepped over the line. I've had it. They should just go ahead and do it. You've never talked of replacing me. With you, I know I'm safe, no matter what, so I came to you. But you weren't here, so your sons and husband took me in and looked after me. If you divorce Joshua, Sister, it will be the biggest mistake you'll ever make."

"I don't want to divorce him."

"Good."

"Do you want a divorce?"

"I want to feel secure, and I want to know that I'm accepted, no matter what. When I was small, you taught me that even if I broke a cup, or fell over, or fought with someone, you'd always be there for me. Frank and his family are abusers, always threatening me with dismissal. I won't live like that anymore."

"Okay. Go and shower, then we'll eat."

"You're not going to tell me to go back?"

"I know about abuse, Lina, and I don't want anyone I care about to be abused in anyway. Thank you for not being like Ma. She put up with talk like that for many years, trying to do everything to make her in-laws never have reason to threaten to send her away, but she could do nothing right. In the end, she left, because her husband had started to hit her. Don't follow her example."

"When did she die?"

"Two years after we left. She was exhausted from having pregnancies that didn't come to term because she was stressed by the talk from her in-laws."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I. She'd have loved to see you. Your name was the last thing she said."

"Oh, Sister." The sisters held each other a long moment, and then Selina went to change.

Nora finished cooking, then, when Selina returned from her bath, Nora asked her to announce the meal. Everyone assembled in the dining room, and sat down.

"We need to talk," Frank said to Selina.

"Everyone's eating, we'll talk afterwards," she said. He was not happy, but he ate.

"Mama, Aunty checked my homework while you were gone," said Peter.

"Oh! Thank you, Aunty," said Nora.

"It was a pleasure. Your sons are good boys," said Selina, smiling round at the boys. They seemed to blush. Nora wondered how Selina had got through to them. Peter asked Nora about her trip, and she answered his questions. After dinner, the boys took the dishes to the kitchen. Nora stared after them, then she looked at Selina, who smiled knowingly.

"We need to talk," said Frank.

"We'll leave you to it," said Josh, getting to his feet. Nora followed him to the study.

"Thank you for taking Selina in," she said.

"She's family. She got the boys to help with cooking, and taught them to clean up after themselves, even when the staff is here," said Josh.

"That's amazing."

"Did you get everything done?"

"Yes."

"We were expecting you tomorrow."

"I did everything as fast as I could, so I could come back to all of you."

"I'm glad you're back."

"So am I." Josh kissed her deeply. There was a knock on the door. Nora broke the kiss. She was on her back on a sofa, Josh was sitting beside her, his chest on hers. The knock came again. Josh sat up, then Nora sat up beside him.

"Come in," called Josh. The door opened, and Peter came in.

"Mama, can you check my homework? Aunty said she's busy," he said.

"Come," said Nora. Peter sat on the other side of her, as she checked his work.

"Well done," she said.

"I'm getting most of my sums right now, because you explained things to me." Nora smiled at him.

"Goodnight," he said, kissing her cheek. Nora and Josh said goodnight, and he left.

Josh kissed Nora again, then there was another knock on the door. They broke the kiss, and Josh rolled his eyes, and invited the knocker to enter. Gabriel entered, and asked for help with his maths homework.

"Peter swears by her explanations," said Josh of Nora. Gabriel looked at Nora doubtfully, then he sat beside her. He showed her what he was working on, and she explained it to him. He nodded, then he did his work. She checked it, and it was correct. He smiled at her, thanked her, and left.

"I don't know why some men dislike smart women, I am so turned on by seeing you help the boys," said Josh.

"Joshua!" said Nora. Josh kissed her briefly, and stood. Nora could see how aroused he was. She looked away from him to stop herself from staring. He looked beautiful in his arousal.

"Toby's getting married," he said.

"His divorce came through already?"

"No, he's paid the bride price for this new woman, and he'll marry her legally after the divorce."

"I see."

"Do you?"

"Not really. Was his first marriage already on the rocks? Is that why he's had time to find this new wife?"

"No. He's doing all he can to hasten the divorce, I don't know why."

"How is the first wife doing?" Josh shrugged.

"Does he have children with her?" asked Nora.

"Four."

"Who do they live with?"

"Her." Nora frowned.

"Nora?" said Josh. Nora focused on him.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm hoping they'll be fine. Raising a child alone isn't easy," said Nora.

"Are you speaking from experience?"

"My son was born healthy, but he died the day after he was born, from an infection that killed several babies at the hospital."

"I'm sorry." Nora shrugged.

"Do you wish he'd lived?" asked Josh.

"I try not to think about him. He came at a very bad time in my life."

"What did your mother say?"

"She cried at the funeral. I couldn't cry or mourn, or do anything. I felt numb. To this day, I've never shed a tear for him."

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know. Selina looks so much like Ma."

"She looks like you."

"She does not."

"There are slight differences, but anyone can tell that you're related."

"I've never noticed."

Nora and Josh heard raised voices, and went to investigate. Frank and Selina were in the lounge, the door was open, and they were screaming at each other. The boys were looking on in horror.

"Stop that!" shouted Josh in his head of correctional services voice. Selina and Frank looked at him.

"Take that type of behaviour to your own home. I won't have you exposing my sons to it," he continued. Selina ran out of the room.

"Selina!" called Frank. She went into the nearest bathroom, and locked herself in there. Nora and her family looked at Frank.

"Don't look at me like it's my fault, _she_ left home," said Frank.

"You need to be nicer to her," said Allen. Frank looked at him in shock.

"She maybe your wife, but she's my Aunty, and I don't like the way you were talking to her. I hate divorce, but since you won't be nice to her, I'll tell her to divorce you," continued Allen.

"You know nothing!"

"Don't ever shout at her," said Peter.

"Will you tell your sons to stop this nonsense," Frank said to Nora.

"You should go," she said.

"I want to talk to my wife."

"She doesn't want to talk to you."

"You have no business keeping her from me! I paid the bride price so I could have access to her twenty-four hours a day."

"We'll reimburse you."

"What?" shouted a shocked Frank.

"We'll give you back every last cent, rather than have you talk to her like that. Go, and send me the invoice for the bride price." Frank looked at her in shock, then he left.

Nora heard the boys knocking on the bathroom door, asking Selina to come out. She opened the door, and came out. They made a fuss of her, telling her that her husband had gone, and that their Mama would make sure that he never troubled her again. Selina kissed them each on the cheek, and told them to go to bed. They left. Selina looked Nora and Josh.

"I'm sorry about that. I have children, and I know I wouldn't want them seeing anything like that either," she said.

"I'm sorry too," said Nora.

"Why? Are you sending me away?"

"No! But I did something I shouldn't have done."

"What did you do?"

"I told Frank I'd give him back his bride price, so he can leave you alone." Selina looked at her out of wide eyes, then she started laughing. She laughed until she had to lean on the wall for support.

"I wish I'd seen the look on his face," she said, wiping the tears off her cheeks.

"You're not mad at me?" asked Nora.

"I'm wondering why I never told him and his family that. I always let them think, because I thought, that I had no options. Brother and Papa always said they'd never return the bride price."

"I don't know if I have enough money to pay him."

"That's not the point, the point is that now, they know I have support, and if they fight with me, I have backup. Thank you, Sister," said Selina, hugging Nora.

"He and his family might take me seriously and end your marriage. It wasn't my intention to end things for you," said Nora.

"If the marriage ends, it will be because he and I let it end. You look tired, get to sleep. Goodnight to you both," said Selina, then she left.

Nora looked at Josh.

"I never paid the bride price. I want to. Would I have to pay Selina?" he asked.

"I've never thought about that."

"Would you want me to pay your brother?"

"No!"

"I have to pay someone."

"We'll talk about it another time. Can we go and sleep? I'm suddenly very tired."

"Of course. Come," said Josh, taking her hand, and leading her to their bedroom. He helped her to change, then he helped her into bed. Nora closed her eyes, and opened them when Josh joined her, and put his arms round her. She put an arm round his waist, kissed his cheek, and fell asleep.

# CHAPTER TEN

When she woke up, she prepared for work, then she went to make lunches for the boys. She found Selina in the kitchen, packing them.

"Thank you," said Nora.

"Can I carry on doing this? It makes me miss my children less," said Selina. Nora held her tight.

"Of course you can do it, or, we can do it together. What did you do to the boys? They're wonderful."

"I'll teach you how to develop and use the militant mother tone that no one in their right minds would dare challenge," smiled Selina.

Nora's bosses were surprised to see her, and concerned that she had not done everything. She gave them all the paperwork, and they were very impressed. The day went well, then she returned home. After her shower, she joined her family for dinner. The boys were excited about events at their schools, and they all invited Nora to join their father for parent-teacher consultations.

"What about your other Mama?" asked Nora.

"She's in Canada," said Gabriel dismissively. After dinner, the boys went to do their homework. Selina and Nora went to the lounge, while Josh went to the study.

"How are you today?" asked Nora.

"Frank phoned me, threatening me with divorce."

"I'm so sorry."

"I told him to go ahead, and that I was suing for custody of the children. He went on about children belonging to the father, and I said the court would decide. I also told him that no one would reimburse him for the bride price, because I gave him children, and that's what the bride price is for. He may never speak to me again. His family will dictate, and he'll go with that. I just wish we didn't have children. It's them that are going to get hurt." Not knowing what to say, Nora, held Selina's hand. Josh entered the room.

"Can I come in, or are you busy?" he asked.

"Come in, I can leave," said Selina.

"I want to talk to you."

"Me?" Josh sat down.

"I want to pay the bride price for your sister. She doesn't want me talking to your brother, her parents are late, and she's not in touch with any of your other family. That leaves you," continued Josh. Selina was gaping at him in shock. She looked at Nora, then back at Josh.

"When would be a good time to talk to you?" he asked. Selina looked from him to Nora, and back.

"Is Saturday good for you? Say midday? Let me know where it would be convenient for you to meet me, and I'll be there. Okay?" said Josh.

"Okay," said Selina, sounding high-pitched.

"I'm off to sleep, I'll see you tomorrow," he said to Selina. He nodded at Nora, and left. Selina turned to Nora.

"What did your husband just say?" she asked.

"You heard him."

"Can I do that? Can I be the one to demand and receive the bride price for you?"

"I only have you, and he insists on paying, so he'll have to pay you."

"I don't even know what to charge him."

"Ask around at work, or ask your friends." Selina's face closed up.

"What did I say, Lina? I'm sorry," said Nora.

"I have no friends. Frank said they were bad influences."

"All of them?"

"All of them.

"Are you going to get in touch with them? Or get new ones?"

"I don't know."

"Well, maybe look on the internet, just don't ask for too much." Selina gave Nora a long look.

"Did you really kill those men?" she asked.

"Yes."

"I'd never expect it of you."

"They abused me, and I snapped. Don't let Diana grow up to be like me, she mightn't be as lucky as I've been. Get her help, otherwise the anger will grow inside her. It grew inside me, then it took me over. I don't wish the physical and mental and emotional agony of sexual abuse on anyone." Selina held Nora tight. Nora returned the hug, then she stood.

"It's time to sleep," she said.

Next morning, Norman walked into Nora's office.

"Are you going to see my contact for psychological help?" he asked.

"No!"

"Think of Joshua, Nora. You really like him, and he really likes you. You can make him happy, but I think you'll need help to do that. Get help, and make yourself and Joshua happy. I don't think the boys want to go through another divorce." Nora glared at him, and he left.

That evening at home, Selina joined Nora in the lounge.

"You know what I decided today?" she asked.

"No," said Nora.

"I decided to forgive Frank."

"To forgive him?"

"Yes, I'm tired of counting the ways in which he robbed me, disrespected me, and denied me. The list is endless. I decided today that I'm forgiving him, even though he hasn't asked for forgiveness."

"Why?"

"Because I want to be free from being a victim. Every time I list the wrongs, he comes out powerful, I come across weak and helpless. I'm going to forgive him, and forget him."

"Oh!" said Nora, realising that Selina was sounding like Josh.

"After that, I expect myself to stop crying because of him, and get on with the rest of my life in peace. I'll also make sure to stay away from people who want to suck the life out of me, by saying and doing things that make me feel less than I am. I'm forgiving that man and his family, so I can be free," continued Selina. Nora watched her a long moment.

"Josh said I should forgive your brother," she said.

"He was right."

"I don't know how."

"I'll help you," said Selina, putting her arms round Nora.

"Forgiving is a selfish act, it frees you from holding onto pain. We've been holding onto the pain, but neither Brother nor Frank remember inflicting it, nor do they care that their actions hurt us. They're free, let's free ourselves. I'm doing it for me and my children, you're doing it for you, your husband, and your children," said Selina.

"I'm going to need a lot of help. The pain's been my motivator and reason for living and hating for so long, I don't know how to be without it."

"We'll work things out."

Nora spent several nights awake, thinking about forgiveness. She had no idea how to go about it. In desperation, she looked up some information on it on the internet. She discovered that there were many women who had been through the same experiences as she had. There were several sites dedicated to chatting and information giving. Some women had been to therapy, some had decided to forgive those who had abused them, others had decided to minimise the importance of the abuse, and magnify the good things in their lives, including their lovers.

Nora decided that she would read books on sex, and start to see sex as beautiful, not as torture, or a weapon to be used against her. She would also forgive Gordon. She had to, because she was afraid that if she did not, she would snap again, and go to jail forever.

On Saturday afternoon, Selina and Josh met in the gazebo to talk about the bride price. They had agreed to film the talks, as there were no witnesses to the meeting. After the talks, they returned to the house for lunch. Nora assumed that things had gone well, because they were both their usual selves.

That night, Nora stayed up late thinking about how to forgive Gordon. She decided that she would recall one or two experiences with him, repeat, 'I forgive you, Gordon', and hope for the best. She became tense, feeling a knot in her stomach, as she made to recall. She stopped the exercise, took a walk about the house looking at pictures of her family, then she returned to the exercise. She relived an experience so well, that she felt the pain all over again. She was crying when she opened her eyes, gasping for breath, and feeling deeply afraid. She was relieved that it had not been real. She decided to sleep, and try again the following day.

She tried the exercise over three days. Each night, she was too afraid to sleep in case she dreamt about what she had made herself relive. In desperation, she asked Selina how she was going about forgiving Frank.

"I sit down and spend five or ten minutes saying, 'I forgive you, Selina, I forgive you, Frank'." she said.

"You forgive yourself?"

"I'm angry with me too, for putting up with Frank's nonsense, so I forgive me too."

"Do you think about what you're forgiving the two of you for?"

"No! I'd never forgive him if I thought about it. I'd never forgive me either. In hindsight, I look pathetic to myself, so I forgive myself, without making myself feel small and weak and useless. I think it's working for me. He phoned me today, and I was very calm throughout the whole thing. I didn't whine, or beg, or try to manipulate him. I told him exactly what I meant, and he didn't fall apart or gather his relatives to give me a talking to. Affirm and feel that you're forgiving yourself and Brother, and you'll see a difference." Nora was glad to follow a path that did not require a trip into the past.

Several times a day, she affirmed forgiveness for herself and Gordon. At first, she did not feel the forgiveness, but with practise, she was able to feel lighter as she affirmed. She saw a picture of him in the paper, and did not feel a blanket of anger enveloping her. She felt nothing in fact. She decided to carry on with the forgiveness exercise, as it was clearly working.

"I think we should dine out, alone, sometime this week," said Josh. Nora looked up from the baking that she was doing.

"We need time alone," continued Josh. Nora looked down, feeling cornered.

"You do want to be with me?" asked Josh.

"Of course I do."

"You don't sound sure."

"I'm scared, okay?" said Nora, turning to the sink. She put the baking bowl down, and closed her eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you," said Josh. Feeling his breath on the nape of her neck, she moved to her side, and turned to face him. He stood directly infront of her, looking deep into her eyes.

"I love you," he said.

"Joshua!" she said, making to walk away from him.

"Don't go, Nora," he said. She stopped, and turned to look at him.

"Do you not want me to love you?" he asked.

"I...I..."

"I think you can love me."

"Joshua..."

"Don't say anything, just listen. I love you, and I love that you love my children. You do love them?"

"You know I do."

"I'm sure you can come to love me too." Nora looked down.

"You love someone because you know them. We need to get to know each other," continued Josh.

"How do you love me, when you don't know me?" asked Nora.

"If you recall, every last detail of your life was splashed all over the papers, and the prison services had even more detail about you. I know about you, and I love you from that, but I still want to know you, and have you know me. We can be good together." They were silent, watching each other.

"Are you done with your cooking?" he asked.

"No."

"Don't let me keep you," said Josh, walking away from Nora. She sighed with relief, glad that he was leaving the room.

She fetched more baking ingredients, and returned to the table. The boys laughed, and she smiled, looking at the doorway.

"Joshua!" she gasped. He was sitting at the table, watching her.

"I thought you left," she said.

"I want to be with you."

"Oh," said Nora, trying to interpret what that meant.

"I like you, and I want to be where you are. I can help if you want me to, or I can just sit, just as long as I'm with you," said Josh. Nora watched him closely, then she nodded, and carried on with her work. The boys came into the room looking for Josh as they wanted to play a game with him.

"Bring the game here," he said.

"Here?" said Allen.

"There's plenty of room, and there are enough seats for everyone."

"Oh, okay." Allen left to get the game, while his brothers sat down.

"What are you making, Mama?" asked Peter.

"A cake."

"Oh."

"I hear it's someone's birthday tomorrow."

"Really? Whose birthday is it? What day is it? It's...it's my birthday! Are you baking for me?"

"What do you think?" Nora asked with a smile. Allen returned with the game. Nora focused on baking.

"Peter? Peter, it's your turn to play," said Gabriel.

"Peter?" said Josh. Nora looked at Peter. He was looking at her.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"I've never had a Mama to bake a cake for me," he said.

"Well, I'm here now. What flavour do you like? I was going to make a chocolate cake, but I can change it to whatever you like."

"You'd do that?"

"You're my son, of course I'd do that for you. What flavour do you like?"

"Chocolate."

"Great. Shouldn't you play? The others are waiting for you."

"Can I take a cake to school?"

"Of course. I'll keep one in the fridge for you to take to school on Monday."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Play."

"Okay." Nora watched him play, then she continued with her work. She put the cakes in the ovens, and washed up.

"Come and join us," said Josh.

"Aren't you in the middle of something?" she asked.

"We'll be done soon, then you can join us in the next game." Nora sat between Peter and Josh, and watched the family playing. She smiled at the friendly banter and teasing going on. Allen won the game, and did a victory dance. The next game started, and everyone explained the rules to Nora. She thanked them for their patience, as they did not penalise her for her mistakes.

The oven timer pinged, she excused herself, and went to take the cakes out of the oven. Everyone marvelled at them. She smiled with pleasure, then she returned to the game.

"Mama, can I have a piece of cake?" asked Peter.

"No! It's for tomorrow," said Nora.

"It smells so good, I just have to have a piece."

"The cake is still hot, and I haven't decorated it, and it's for tomorrow. We can have dinner out so you're not tempted."

"Okay, where shall we go?"

"Where do you all want to go? It will be my treat."

"I have to go to work," said Josh.

"No! We want to go together, as a family," said Peter.

"You can all go, and I'll join you later, if you're still there."

"Where shall we go?" asked Nora. The boys debated, and chose a restaurant.

"I'll be ready in fifteen minutes," said Nora.

"Is Aunty coming with us?" asked Allen.

"No, I'm not coming. I have some things to do," said Selina, as she entered the room.

Nora had been concerned that the elder boys would be unhappy to go out with her without Josh, but they were happy to be at the restaurant, and they ordered within reason, for which she was greatly relieved. The meal arrived and they all ate happily.

When they finished, they decided to wait a while, before ordering dessert. They talked about how impressed they were with Peter's cakes, and told Nora when their birthdays were, and what flavour of cakes they liked. They all told funny stories about each other, and Nora laughed until she had tears on her cheeks.

The manager appeared and asked Nora to leave.

"Have I done something wrong? I was only dining with my family," she said.

"The other diners say they don't want to eat with a..."

"With a what?"

"A murderer, madam."

"Oh! Oh. Well, my family and I haven't finished."

"Please, just leave."

"We haven't finished!"

"If you don't go, I'll have to ask security to throw you out," said the manager.

"Is there a problem?" asked Josh, joining them.

"General Mkhuba?"

"Is there a problem?"

"The other diners want this lady to leave."

"Why?"

"Because they say she's a killer." Josh looked at Nora.

"Do you want to stay here?" he asked.

"If the boys want to stay, we'll stay," she said.

"We want to go," said Gabriel.

"Okay. I'll pay, and we'll go," said Nora.

"You're not paying," said Josh. Nora looked at him in surprise.

"You're being thrown out, why should you pay when you're being treated as if you're less than the other diners?"

"Oh," said Nora, then she looked at the manager. He did not know what to do.

"Let's go," Josh said curtly. Nora and the boys stood.

"Get out, murderer!" shouted one diner. Josh turned to look at him. Nora put a hand on his shoulder. He took her hand off his shoulder, held it, and looked round the restaurant.

"Thank you, ladies and gentleman, for despising and looking down on one of the people who make it possible for you to be here. Had she not done the deed you want to send her out of here for, you'd be refugees living in a camp in some other country, or, you'd be on the run with less than a tenth oy your worldly possessions, instead of eating like royalty. Thank you for showing her how grateful you are to her. No need to shout, we're leaving. Manager, we'll be sure to warn our friends not to come here," shouted Josh, then he turned away.

"Murderer, murderer, murderer!" shouted several people. Nora could see that Josh was getting upset. He turned back to the speakers. Nora moved quickly, and kissed him. He stilled, surprised, then he kissed her back.

"Let's go," she said, then she led him out.

Everyone was silent in the car.

"I'm sorry about that, boys," she said. No one said anything.

"I can get you dessert someplace else, and we'll eat it at home," she continued. The boys did not respond. She closed her eyes, feeling terrible about what had happened. Once home, the boys immediately went to their bedrooms. Nora went to bake. It took her mind off the restaurant incident. When she calmed down, she decorated Peter's cakes, and she was very pleased with them when she was done. When she finished cleaning up, she was exhausted.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" asked Josh. Nora turned to him, he was at the kitchen door.

"I..."

"You've been here for hours. You must be exhausted." Nora looked away from him, then she decided to think about him, instead of about herself. She looked at him.

"How did things go, wherever you'd gone?" she asked. He entered the room, and sat at the table with her.

"Alright, I got what I'd gone to get. How did dinner go?" he asked.

"Well, until the end."

"Don't think about that."

"But..."

"I think we need to start thinking about a big wedding." Nora's jaw dropped .

"Why would we do a crazy thing like that? We have enough problems without making our union public," she said.

"I'll be paying the bride price soon, then I want a huge wedding. When Gina and I married, it was small because it was a rush job. I married you in a small ceremony, and I'm not happy with that. I'm very proud that you're my wife, and I want to show you, and the world, that." Nora shook her head.

"We don't have to decide now, just give it some thought. Have you thought about forgiving Gordon?" asked Josh.

"Yes. I talked to Selina, and she told me how to go about it. I don't want to stab him a thousand times anymore."

"What do you want to do about him?"

"Nothing. He's starting to not matter to me anymore. You and the boys are my priorities now." Josh smiled, then he took her hand, and kissed it.

"Let's go to sleep," he said.

# CHAPTER ELEVEN

Nora did not sleep. She did not want a repeat of the restaurant experience, but how would she protect her family from a repeat? No solution came to her. She climbed out of bed before dawn, and went to make breakfast. Afterwards, she went to sit in the gazebo. Selina joined her just after dawn.

"Are you alright?" asked Nora.

"No."

"What's the matter?"

"The divorce is happening."

"I am so sorry." Selina smiled slightly.

"I don't want a divorce, I just want Frank to love and respect me, as I love and respect him. I'd never threaten to replace him, and if my family ever threatened to replace him, I'd have a problem with them. What if I don't get custody? What will I do, Sister?" Nora put an arm round Selina's shoulders.

"We got sent out of a restaurant last night," she said.

"No!" said Selina.

"The diners didn't want to eat with a murderer."

"Oh, Sister."

"I don't know how to protect my family from such reactions. A few months ago, I was going to leave, but I can't leave now. I love them, I don't want to be without them."

"I understand." The sisters were quiet for a while.

"The family's going to church, will you go with them?" asked Nora.

"No."

"Do you want to come and collect Peter's gift with me?"

"Of course."

"Let's go in, it will be time for breakfast soon." Everyone was subdued at breakfast.

"Are you alright, Mama?" asked Peter.

"Yes, thanks. Happy birthday, Peter." Peter smiled.

"I thought we could sing to you after lunch," said Nora.

"That's fine."

"Aren't you coming to church with us, Mama?" asked Allen.

"No," said Nora.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to be sent away like I was last night. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"We should leave for church," said Josh. He and the boys left the dining room. Nora and Selina started clearing up.

"We'll see you later," said Josh, returning to make his goodbyes.

"Enjoy it," said Nora.

"Will you be alright?"

"Of course." Josh approached her, kissed her gently, and left.

"You'd be a fool to leave that," said Selina.

"I know."

"If Frank kissed me like that, I'd work on keeping the marriage, but..." The sisters finished cleaning and cooking lunch, then they went to get Peter's gift.

They found Josh and the boys at home.

"Please hide the gift in the garage," said Nora to Selina. Selina drove the car into the garage, while Nora went into the house.

"Mama! We've been waiting ages," said Peter.

"Sorry, we had to go to the shops. You guys are early," said Nora.

"We were worried about you, so we left church early."

"I'm fine. Are you all ready for lunch?"

"Of course," said Allen. Selina joined the family for lunch in the dining room. After the meal, she asked the boys to help her to clear up, while Nora set up the cake. The boys helped without grumbling, then they went to get their gifts. Everyone gathered in the dining room to sing to Peter, then he cut his cake, and started opening his gifts. He thanked everyone, then he looked at Nora expectantly.

She led everyone to the garage, and Peter gasped when he saw the doves and aviary that she had bought him. He looked everything over, then he hugged Nora. She was very happy with his reaction. Everyone returned to the house to eat the cake. They loved it, and had seconds.

"I'm so full, I can't move," said Gabriel. The family decided to play cards. After the games, there was a light supper, then everyone dispersed. Nora showered, and joined Josh in their bedroom.

"That was a wonderful birthday, thank you," he said. Nora smiled, and climbed into bed beside him.

"Can you go out to dinner with me tomorrow night?" he asked.

"We could get sent out."

"We won't, we'll go to a restaurant belonging to a friend of mine."

"Does he know about me?"

"Yes, she does. It's Belinda's restaurant."

"Oh, okay. Will I have time to come home and change?"

"Yes, we'll leave here at half-past seven."

"Okay."

Dinner at the restaurant went very well. Nora had been tense, expecting someone to say something nasty, but no one said anything. Josh was charming, and full of funny stories. He held her hand as they were driven home, then he held her all night. Over the following few days, Nora noticed that people were looking at her differently at work. She could not say what had changed, but clearly, something had. She went to see Norman.

"Am I going to get fired?" she asked.

"I'm not in human resources," he said.

"But you're top brass, so you'd know."

"I know nothing about that."

"Everyone looks at me different, and don't you dare say I'm paranoid. Norman? I'm talking to you," she insisted, as he looked at his computer. He beckoned her. She moved to his side, he was showing her a website with her picture on it. She gasped in horror.

"Read what it says," said Norman.

_'One of our country's heroes, who prevented bad forces from trying to take us back to the days of dictatorship,"_ said the heading. The story beneath that talked about the activities of the people that she had killed, and showed that she had done the country a great service by executing them. The article ended by asking everyone to boycott the restaurant that had sent her out. Nora felt weak in the knees.

"Who would do this?" she whispered.

"Someone who likes you very much. Find out who it is and thank them." Nora stared at the article, then she returned to her office.

Selina walked in. Nora stood, and went to help her into a seat. She looked shocked.

"Lina? What is it? What's wrong?" asked Nora, giving Selina water to drink. Selina drank it, then she closed her eyes. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I've just come from the hospital," she said, opening her eyes.

"Are you sick?"

"Diana cut herself."

"She had an accident with a knife?"

"She deliberately cut herself."

"No! Is she alright?"

"She will be. She says she did it because she doesn't want to be at home without me."

"Oh, Lina."

"I have to go back. I can't let my child carry on hurting herself."

"Of course."

"Frank hasn't changed. I don't know how I'll survive. I guess we'll be one of those couples that stay together for the children, but live separate lives. That was never my dream, Sister."

"I know."

"I hate him so much."

"Focus on Diana. Do you want me to drive you home?"

"Yeah. Frank's family will probably be there to tell me that it's my fault, and that..."

"Don't think about that. I'll just talk to my supervisor, then we'll go." Nora talked to Lauren, then she drove Selina home.

Frank was there with the children, and the lady that looked after them. He welcomed Selina with civility, and led her to Diana. Diana climbed out of bed quickly, and went into her mother's arms. Selina held her close, holding back tears.

"I'm glad you're home, Mama. Are you leaving again?" asked Diana. Selina did not know what to say.

"Mama's not leaving again. She'll go to work, and come back, as she always does," said Frank. Diana nodded, kissed her mother, and left the room.

"Should she be out of bed?" asked Selina.

"The doctor said she's fine. You look well," said Frank.

"Oh, thank you, so do you."

"I'll be off," said Nora.

"Thank you, Sister," said Selina, then she walked Nora to her car. Nora hugged her.

"Phone me if you need anything," she said. Selina nodded. Nora drove home.

Over the next few days, there were more positive postings about her on the internet. One evening, she brought the subject up at dinner. Allen and Peter looked at Gabriel.

"What do you know about it, boys?" asked Josh.

"Gabe did it," said Peter.

"What?" said Nora.

"He didn't like what happened at the restaurant, so he started that website, and got our friends to contribute. Do you remember them, they were here for a few days," said Allen.

"Yes, I remember," said Nora. Choked up, she stood, helped Gabriel out of his seat, and gave him a big hug. He hugged her back gingerly. She released him, and sat down.

"Thank you," she said.

"It's nothing," he said. Nora could not eat after that. She went to the bathroom to cry.

"What's the matter?" asked Josh, putting his arms round her.

"That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me," she said.

"You're family, we take care of each other in this family," he said.

"You better be sure you want me, because I'm never leaving."

"None of us would put up with your leaving. We love you, and we want you."

"I love and want all of you too." Josh raised her face from his shoulder, and kissed her. The kiss heated, and in a short while, Nora felt Josh caressing her bare breast. She broke the kiss, and watched him as he caressed her. He leaned down, and sucked on her breast. She felt weak in the knees with pleasure. Josh raised his head, kissed her, and stepped away from her.

"Josh?" she said, dazed.

"I have to go, unless you're ready to make love with me." Nora watched him, then she approached him. She kissed him, as she fumbled with his trousers. Soon, she was caressing him intimately. He shuddered with pleasure, leaning on the wall behind him. Nora kissed him, and put her arms round him.

"Was that okay?" she asked.

"For now, but I want to be with you."

"I know. The time will come."

"Thank you." Nora kissed him again.

The two of them started going on weekly outings on Thursday evenings, and on Saturday evenings, they would spend time with the boys, unless Josh was attending a function, then, they would take the boys out during the day.

Selina phoned Nora.

"Frank is seeing a psychologist," she said.

"Oh! Why?"

"Because he doesn't want me to leave."

"Oh!"

"He said he'd do it, but today, he actually spent an hour with one."

"He must be serious about you." Selina paused.

"It remains to be seen. Your husband has paid the bride price."

"Oh!"

"He came to do it here. Frank was suspicious, he thought he and I were having an affair. Joshua explained how crazy he is about you, and Frank calmed down. Hold onto him, Sister."

"I intend to. Good luck with Frank."

"Hmm."

"You don't sound sure."

"I don't know if I'm interested in him anymore. I'm tired, Sister, I'm just so tired. If Diana hadn't done what she did, I would never have come back. I have to go."

Nora was promoted at work. One morning, she found several bunches of flowers in her office. She read the card. The management and staff of the restaurant that had sent her away were apologising to her, and asking her to come and dine there, at no expense. She stared at the card in shock. At the end of the day, she took it home, and showed her family.

"Good. They must be feeling the pinch," said Gabriel.

"What do you mean?" asked Nora.

"People must be avoiding the place."

"Oh, I wondered what had changed their minds."

"They need you to go back there and publicise your being there, otherwise, they'll have to close down."

"It can't be that bad. Anyway, I don't want to go there."

"Good," Gabriel said with deep feeling. More flowers arrived for Nora at work, always from the same restaurant. She tired of getting them, and gave them out to her co-workers.

One morning, the owner of the restaurant came to see her.

"What can I do for you?" she asked, after he introduced himself.

"Please, come and eat at our establishment. What happened the last time you were there will never happen again. Our manager made a bad call, and it's costing us. Please don't let us go out of business."

"What does your going out of business have to do with me?"

"We are not the only ones who are suffering. The staff are not getting paid. Their families are starving, and unless we get back on our feet, things will get even worse. Do you want to be responsible for the death of the families of those people?" Nora laughed in disbelief.

"Me? Responsible? Am I the one who sent me out? Your manager did that, egged on by your more important clients. I suggest you call them up, and get them to eat at your establishment. Good day to you!" Nora said curtly, as she opened her office door.

"I'm telling the world that you're as cold in person as you were when you murdered those poor men in cold blood," he said.

"Security! Intruders on the premises!" shouted Nora. Security was at her door in seconds, and physically lifted and carried the man out, as he screamed and shouted that Nora was a murderer. Nora closed her office door, and screamed into a sofa cushion. When will this ever end, she asked herself.

The rest of the day did not go well. She was glad to get home. She took a long hot bath, and joined the family for dinner.

"Where's Gabriel?" she asked.

"He said he had stuff to do. He asked that his food be kept for him," said Allen. Josh left for an urgent meeting after the meal. He returned as Nora was about to leave for work the following morning.

"Are you alright?" she asked him. He looked exhausted. He sat on their bed, and looked at her.

"Don't go in to work today," he said.

"Why? I'm not sick."

"The man who came to see you yesterday is planning to bomb the building."

"No! Have you told the others not to go in?"

"Of course."

"How do you know all this?"

"Contacts."

"I'm sorry about this. If you didn't know me, you wouldn't have to lose a day of business."

"I can replace a business, I can't replace you." Nora went to sit beside him.

"The boys are not going to school, I don't know that he won't hurt them in his anger at being denied the chance to hurt you." Nora put her arms round him. He sighed, then he went to shower.

"Aren't you going to sleep?" she asked him afterwards.

"No. I have things to do. I've hired a few people to look after you and the boys until the threat to your safety is gone.

"People?"

"Bodyguards."

"Oh!"

"I'm not taking chances with your lives."

"Okay. Thank you." He kissed her cheek, and left.

He was gone for three days. He would phone and speak to everyone daily, assuring them that he was fine. On the fourth day afternoon since Josh's departure, Nora and the security agents realised that Gabriel was missing. Nora phoned him, he said that he had felt cooped up, and had escaped his bodyguards to go to a mall.

Nora took some bodyguards and went to look for him at the mall that he had said he was going to. She saw the man that had called her names when she arrived at the amll, and started searching frantically for Gabriel. When she phoned him, he did not answer his phone. She found him in a shop, talking to the man that had threatened to bomb Josh's business. Nora froze, then she approached them.

"Hey!" she called loudly. The man turned to her, while the bodyguards grabbed Gabriel.

"Are you looking for me?" she asked.

"You destroyed my business, and now, I'm going to kill you, as you killed those good men," he said, raising a gun. Nora closed her eyes as a gun went off. She opened them when she realised that she did not feel any pain. The man was on the floor, gazing at her blankly. A man came to stand over him. He shot him, then he left.

"Mama? Mamaaa!" screamed Gabriel.

"I'm fine," said Nora, going towards him. The bodyguards released him, and he held her tight. The bodyguards moved them quickly from the shop, into a car, and drove off.

Josh was home.

"Are you alright?" he demanded. Gabriel held him tight, and started crying. Josh led him into the house, and into the study. Nora went to shower, then she went to help the staff with dinner. Josh entered the room.

"Excuse us," he said. The staff left quickly.

"What did you think you were doing, endangering yourself that way?" he demanded.

"I..."

"I could have lost you!"

"I'm fine, Josh," said Nora, going to hold him. He held her tight, then he kissed her deeply.

"Don't ever do that again!" he decreed.

"I was decoying him from Gabriel."

"Stay alive!"

"Yes, Josh." Josh released her, and sat down.

"The whole thing is on the internet. Someone posted everything on live. I thought my heart had stopped when I heard that first gunshot," he said.

"I didn't mean to worry you."

"Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"Come here." Nora approached Josh. He sat her on his lap, and held her tight. She kissed his forehead, and put her arms round his neck. The boys walked in. Nora made to stand. Josh would not release her.

"Sit down, boys," he said. The boys sat down. Nora thought that they would be embarrassed to see her and Josh in that position, but they took it in their strides.

"Gabriel and your mother were in great danger today, but we got them back safe. Let's pray. Almighty Creator, thank you for bringing my wife and son back home safe. Thank you for the contacts that helped me to foil the attempt on my wife's life. Thank you for my family, and the love that flows in it. Amen," he said.

"Amen," said everyone else.

"I'm hungry," said Peter. Nora stood, and brought food to the table. The boys started eating. Josh sat watching Nora. She could not eat with him watching her that intently. He left the room.

"Is Papa alright?" asked Gabriel.

"Yes, he was worried about us."

"Thank you for saving me. I didn't know that that man was the one trying to hurt us."

"You're safe, that's the important thing. Boys, please clear up when you're done. I have to check on Papa," said Nora, then she left the room.

She found Josh in the study. He was on a call as she entered. She could feel his eyes on her as she closed the door, and walked to a seat opposite him, at his desk. His call ended. He stood, approached her, helped her to her feet, and kissed her until she broke the kiss, panting for breath, and weak in the knees. She gasped as she felt Josh's hand in her bra, caressing her breast.

The phone rang. Josh made a frustrated sound, and released Nora. She sank into her seat and closed her eyes, then she opened them when she had caught her breath. Josh was watching her intently, as he listened to his caller. He said a few words, then he put the phone down, and put it on voicemail.

"Bedroom," he said, as he stood. He went to her side, took her hand, and led her to their bedroom.

He closed the door, and started undoing his shirt buttons. He became impatient, and kissed her. She put her arms round his neck, and kissed him deeply. She realised that he was moving her back. She landed on her back on the bed, and gasped. Josh sat beside her and started undoing her dress buttons.

"I have to be with you," he panted. She helped him with her buttons, he pushed her hands away. She sat up and she finished undoing his shirt buttons. She unbuckled his belt, undid his button and zip, then she stopped, looking at his erect masculinity. He climbed off the bed and lowered his trousers and underwear to the floor. He kicked them off, and kissed her until she was lying on her back. He raised her skirt to her waist, and caressed her upper thighs, and she shivered with excitement.

She gasped as he put his hands at the top of her panty, and held her breath as he lowered her panty down her legs, and off her feet. He kissed her belly, and caressed the petals between her legs. She felt her excitement increase. He caressed her pleasure button as he caressed her petals, then he inserted a finger into her, and stilled. She looked at him, he started stroking his finger slowly in and out of her. When she did not protest, he added a second finger, and she felt her excitement increase as he stroked and caressed her intimately.

"Josh," she gasped. He kissed her, and took his hands off her. She felt bereft. He moved between her legs, then she felt him joining his body to hers. She raised her hips to help him, her body humming with desire. He stopped, frowning.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine, and you? Am I going too fast? Am I hurting you?"

"I'm fine."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No!"

"I'm so glad to hear that." Nora felt him push further into her body, then he stopped, panting. He leaned down to kiss her, then he started moving his hips. She moved hers in time with his as they danced the dance of delight. Nora felt pleasure coursing through her body. She closed her eyes as the pleasure overwhelmed her, and shook her uncontrollably.

When she stopped shaking, she opened her eyes. Joshua was kissing her neck and throat. She squeezed him intimately, and he stilled, then she felt him shaking with pleasure. She put her arms round him and held him close.

The pleasure subsided for him, and he stilled, then he rolled to her side, putting his arms round her. She rolled with him and lay on her side, facing him. He kissed her forehead, and held her tight.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine, and you?"

"Fine. Did I frighten you, or make you feel bad in anyway?"

"No. You made me feel pleasure. I never knew sex could feel that good."

"Would you want to be intimate with me again sometime?"

"Yes." Josh kissed her.

"I love you," he said. She kissed him gently, and continued to hold him. He sat up.

"Come, let's shower and go to sleep. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted," he said. They showered together, then they climbed into bed, and Josh fell asleep. Nora tossed and turned, then she climbed out of bed.

The boys had cleaned the kitchen. Nora decided to make a special breakfast for the family. She cleaned up when she was done, then she went to watch TV.

"What are you doing here?" asked Josh.

"I can't sleep."

"I need you beside me. Come." Nora followed him to bed. She lay awake a long time, then she fell asleep towards dawn. Her alarm clock woke her. She groaned.

"Call in sick," said Josh.

"I can't. I don't want to be demoted."

"You're exhausted."

"That's my fault, I shouldn't have stayed up all night."

"Were you afraid to sleep?"

"No, I just had no sleep. I need to get ready."

"I've stopped the bodyguard service."

"That's good, I don't think they'd be allowed at work. Thank you for hiring them for us."

"I always take care of my family." Nora kissed his cheek, and went to the bathroom.

# CHAPTER TWELVE

Nora was shocked into stopping in her tracks when she entered the office, and people started clapping and cheering.

"What's going on?" she asked her PA, Sihle.

"We all saw what you did to save your son. You're our hero," he said. Nora smiled at everyone, and nodded as she made her way to the office. The day went well.

The shooting incident was on the internet, and people were wondering who the man was who had shot the restaurant owner. In the late afternoon, the man was identified as the brother of a woman that the restaurant owner had been in a relationship with, and beaten to death.

Nora was glad that she had asked Maxwell to fetch her home, because she was too tired to drive safely.

"Josh? What are you doing here?" she asked, as she climbed into the car.

"I wanted to fetch you home."

"That's nice, thank you."

"I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine, I just need to sleep," she said, putting her head on his shoulder. She was woken by a kiss.

"We're home. Come," said Josh, then he helped her out of the car. In the house, she went straight to sleep. She woke when she heard her name called.

"Come, the children won't eat without you," said Josh. Nora closed her eyes. Josh kissed her gently.

"You'll come and sleep afterwards. Come." Dinner was lively, the boys were vying to tell the family about their day. The meal ended. Nora said goodnight, and went to sleep.

That Friday night, the boys went to sleep at Belinda's home. Josh kissed Nora hard as soon as they returned from dropping the boys off. In a short while, they were naked in their bedroom, caressing and clutching each other desperately. They made love frantically, and lay panting beside each other, exhausted.

After freshening up, they ate, and went to bed. Nora could not sleep. She tossed and turned, then she climbed out of bed, and sat in the lounge thinking about Josh. Out of the blue, she remembered the men that she had killed, and felt cold, remembering that they had insisted on not using condoms. She could have caught diseases from them, and passed them onto Josh. She felt sick to her stomach at that thought.

"Why do you run from me after we make love? Nora? What makes you look like that? Nora? Has something happened? Tell me!" insisted Josh as he joined her.

"Diseases, I could have passed diseases onto you," she whispered.

"Is that what's worrying you?"

"Yes! Those bastards I killed wouldn't use condoms. I could have caught something and..."

"Nora!" Nora was startled by his raised voice. He sat beside her, and held her close.

"We have to go for tests," she said.

"We will. You have to stop panicking."

"I don't want to make you sick."

"Don't worry." Nora drew back from the embrace, and put her hands on his forearms.

"Joshua, you are the one man who has been more than kind to me. It would be ungrateful and unforgivable of me to make you sick. We have to go for testing tomorrow. If I've made you sick...why didn't I think of going for testing before? How could I have been so irresponsible?"

"There are two people involved here, I should also have thought of testing. Don't blame yourself."

"I..."

"Enough talking. It's time to sleep." Nora opened her mouth to speak, and Josh kissed her. When the kiss ended, he led her to their bed.

She lay awake all night. When they went for testing, she was speechless with fear of the result. She had a treatable STI and was given a prescription which she insisted on filling immediately. Josh was given a clean bill of health. Nora wanted to jump up and down with excitement when she heard that.

"You see, you didn't make me sick," said Josh in the car.

"I'm very happy about that."

"You still didn't tell me why you don't sleep with me after..." Nora put her hand on his mouth, and looked at the driver. Josh smiled and kissed her hand, then he changed the subject. When they arrived home, they had brunch.

"Now, tell me why..." Josh said.

"Before you, I never felt comfortable with and about sex. I feel safe with you, and I have an orgasm. I never had that before you, and I think that's what keeps me awake."

"You never had orgasms?"

"It's not easy to have one when you feel bad. With you, I feel fabulous."

"Good, I intend to give you so many fabulous experiences, that you'll forget any other experiences you had."

"I'm fine with that, but only after I finish my medication, and have another test. I'm not taking chances with your health." Josh kissed her.

"Have you thought about our big wedding?" he asked.

"You were serious about that?"

"Have you?"

"No."

"I have. I think we should have it in five weeks. We'll have it the first Saturday after schools close, then the boys will go to Canada, while we go on honeymoon."

"Oh!" said Nora, thoroughly taken by surprise.

"You don't want to do the ceremony?"

"It's not that, I'm just surprised. Will Peter want to go?"

"He'll have to. We're going on honeymoon, and we're not leaving any of the boys alone here, nor are we taking any of them with us."

"Okay."

"You don't sound sure."

"I'm not sure what the publicity will bring. I think I've brought more than enough trouble to this family."

"We'll handle it, Nora. All of us will handle it. Gabriel went on the internet to fight for you. We all want you, and we'll let nothing destroy our family. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, but..."

"But what?"

"Can the boys go to Selina if they don't want to go to Canada? Or go to their friends?"

"I hadn't thought of that. We'll ask them what they want."

"Thank you."

The boys returned, and when Josh talked about the wedding, Peter was very excited. Nora worried about the quietness of the older boys, thinking that they did not want the marriage to happen. Days later, the three boys presented a wedding plan to Josh and Nora that took them completely by surprise. Nora was so touched that she had a difficult time holding back tears of joy. Josh outlined his ideas, and the boys worked to make the ideas come together.

"Wait," said Peter. Everyone looked at him.

"Mama hasn't said anything. It's her wedding too. What do you want, Mama?" Nora was shocked to have been asked.

"Mama?" prompted Peter.

"We'll go with what you all decide," she said.

"No. You have to contribute. The family is involved in planning, and you are a member of the family," said Josh. Nora felt cornered.

"I'll handle my dress, and the flowers," she said. Josh and the boys had obviously not thought of that.

"Fine," said Josh.

"I want to help with the dress," said Peter.

"That's for ladies," said Nora.

"I don't want you wearing something ugly, so I'll help you choose what to wear."

"But..."

"I want to help you!" insisted Peter.

"Okay, but I was going to ask my sister to help me."

"Oh, okay, she'll help you choose something nice," said Peter, satisfied with the arrangement. The whole family was involved in choosing a wedding planner, then the preparations began.

Nora went to ask Selina to be her matron of honour. Selina burst into tears.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," said Nora.

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"When I married, Brother's wife was my matron of honour. I wanted you to do that for me."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there. Will you do this for me?"

"Try and stop me!" Nora hugged her.

"How are things with you?" she asked.

"Hmm," said Selina, cleaning her face.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that Frank has another woman."

"I don't understand."

"He's seeing another woman."

"Are you sure? I thought he wanted you to work on your marriage?"

"He must have changed his mind."

"What will you do?"

"Stick it out, for the children."

"You deserve better."

"Maybe I'm being punished."

"For what?"

"Having left."

"Don't think like that."

"What are we wearing?"

"I haven't decided. Peter was all set to help me with that, until I said you'd help me. He calmed down instantly, because he says you have great taste."

"He's sweet. Do you have any ideas?"

"No."

"Good."

"How can that be good?"

"It means I get to choose."

"As long as you help me with flowers."

"I'll help you with anything."

The wedding day arrived. Nora was very nervous.

"What if the police come to arrest me? We should have been happy with our original wedding," she said.

"Stop that, and focus on your family. They're very excited about this, are you going to deny them this happy occasion?" asked Selina.

"No."

"Then smile, and look like you want this. You do want this?"

"You know I do."

The wedding went without a hitch. The lunch at Belinda's restaurant was superb, then the bridal couple made their goodbyes to the boys, who were going to spend a few days with Belinda. Nora and Josh were driven home, where they changed out of their wedding clothes, into their travelling clothes. The plane trip was quick, then they landed in Mozambique. Nora showered and went straight to sleep.

When she woke up, Josh was watching her.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Good, how are you?"

"Fine. Get up, let's go exploring." They went to meet friends of Joshua's who then escorted them over the capital city and the outskirts, over a week long period.

"This was nice. Thanks for introducing me to your friends," said Nora.

"I'd like to meet yours too."

"I don't have any."

"Everyone has friends."

"I've always been a loner. I didn't want anyone coming home to see how miserable we were, so I didn't encourage friendship. When I got older, women thought I was easy, and that I would steal their husbands, and men thought I was a sex toy. You and Belinda are the closest thing I have to friends."

"That will change now. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and we love you. You do know that?"

"Yes, I do."

"And we all want you to be happy."

They returned home, and fetched the boys from Belinda's home.

"You were gone too long. Next time, you have to take us with you," said Peter.

Selina phoned Nora.

"I'm getting divorced," she said.

"I'm so sorry."

"He's instigating it. He wants his new woman."

"Oh. What happens to the children?"

"He says I can have full custody. His woman doesn't want them."

"Oh. How are they taking it?"

"They're relieved. The tension between him and me has been unbearable."

"If you need anything..."

"Thanks, Sister."

# CHAPTER THIRTEEN

One evening, Nora and her family were dining out, when a man came to stand beside their table. Nora gasped, and looked at Josh, then at Gabriel. They were both as shocked as she was, and they were staring at the man. He was the spitting image of Gabriel. He gave a general greeting, then he looked at Gabriel.

"Hello, son," he said. Gabriel stared from him to Josh, speechless with shock. Josh returned his look.

"As you can see, Joshua, I'm that boy's father," said the man. Josh looked from him, to Nora.

"I've come for my boy," the man continued. Everyone was watching him in silence.

"Get up, boy, we're going home," the man said.

"No!" said Nora.

"Come, boy, I don't have all night," the man said.

"Go away," Josh said coldly.

"I'm not leaving without my son."

"He is not your son!"

"Gina said..." Josh stood.

"Go away!" he shouted, looking ready to unleash violence.

"Fine, but I want you, Gabriel, to know that you are a Mpondo, not a Mkhuba. It's late, I know, but a man should claim his son, no matter how late he does it."

"Go!" shouted Josh.

"I'll see you in court," the man said, then he left. Josh sat down slowly. Everyone was looking at Gabriel.

"That is _not_ my father," he said.

" _I'm_ your father," said Josh.

"Then what did he mean?"

"We're going home, now," said Josh, getting to his feet. Gabriel and Allen stood and left with him. Nora asked for the bill, and paid. She and Peter stood, and she took his hand in hers.

"Does that mean Gabe is not my brother anymore?" he asked.

"He's always been your brother, and he always will be."

They joined the rest of the family in the car, then they were driven home. The journey was made in silence. Once home, Josh went to the study. Gabriel followed him. Nora heard Josh shouting, he seemed to be having a telephone conversation.

The longer the conversation continued, the more upset he seemed to become. Concerned for him, Nora entered the study. Josh had tears on his cheeks. Gabriel was seated, his head bowed, his eyes closed. Nora took the phone from Josh.

"It's not my fault you were too stupid to realise that he was born too soon to be full term," Gina was shouting.

"Gina. Gina. Calm down," said Nora. Gina paused in her tirade.

"Who is this?" she demanded.

"Nora. Joshua's wife."

"Hmm."

"Bye."

"I'm not finished with Joshua."

"For today, you are," said Nora, then she made to cut the call. Gabriel took the phone from her.

"Am I really not a Mkhuba?" he asked.

"Why, Mama? Why?" he continued. He listened, then he threw the phone violently on the floor, and walked out, crying. Josh followed him. Nora found Allen and Peter outside the study.

"What's happening?" asked Allen.

"I'm not sure. Your father and brother talked to your mother, then they left."

"Let's go and find out what's going on."

"Let's give them time. They'll tell us what's happening, they have to. I'm going to bake. Do you want to help me?" The boys followed her. She delegated tasks, and they did them with guidance. They had just put a cake in the oven, when Josh and Gabriel walked into the kitchen. Josh sat down. Everyone joined him at the table. He looked between Allen and Peter.

"Your mother says I'm not Gabriel's biological father," he said.

"What does that mean?" asked Peter.

"It means that man was telling the truth. The fact that my blood doesn't run in Gabriel's veins doesn't stop him from being my son, or from being your brother. I assume that man is going to go to court and try to take Gabe, I won't let that happen. I'm on his birth certificate, and even if DNA tests prove that I'm not his biological father, I will not lose him. You are all my sons, and no one will take you from me, or separate us. I love you all now, as I've always done." There was a small silence.

"Gabe, do you want to go with that man?" asked Peter.

"I'm not going anywhere with a stranger," Gabriel said firmly. After another silence, Josh said it was time for everyone to go and sleep.

Next morning, he and the boys went to church. Nora worried about them as they had all refused to eat breakfast. She cooked a very special lunch, hoping to tempt them into eating. When they did not return at their usual time, she became more concerned. They arrived two hours later than usual.

"Are you alright?" she asked, meeting them at the car.

"Yes," said Josh as he walked into the house.

"Hi, Mama," said Peter.

"Hi, boys. I was worried about you. I thought something terrible had happened," said Nora.

"I wanted to talk to the head pastor, then we prayed. It took some time," said Gabriel.

"How are you?"

"Fine, and very hungry."

"I'm glad, I've cooked a big meal for you all. Come in," said Nora, taking Gabriel's hand. He freed it.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just want you to know that..." she said.

"I know. Can we eat?"

"Of course." The boys ate enthusiastically. Nora went to look for Josh, and found him in the study. He wiped tears off his cheek when she opened the door.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked. He looked at her without responding. Nora closed the door, and went to sit on his lap, kissing his cheek. He put his arms round her waist and lay his head on her bosom.

They were quiet for a long time.

"Do you want to eat?" asked Nora.

"Why, Nora? Why? Why did she lie to me?" asked Josh.

"I don't know."

"I hate her so much," he said feelingly.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"You're already doing something."

"What?"

"You're here. That's what we all need now, someone we can all count on."

"Have you talked to your lawyer?"

"No."

"You should, then..."

"Can we talk about it later?"

"Okay."

"You mentioned food."

"Come." Nora and Josh found the boys washing their plates in the kitchen.

"Thank you, boys," said Nora. She and Josh washed their hands, and sat down to eat. After lunch, Josh went to the study. Nora sat with the boys in the lounge as they did their homework, and watched TV.

Next afternoon, Josh phoned her.

"That man has sent me papers demanding that I hand Gabriel over to him," he said.

"What does your lawyer say?"

"Nothing yet, he wants to look the document over."

"Gabriel is our son, and we have to do anything and everything to keep him. Josh? Joshua," said Nora, as Josh took long to respond.

"We have to consider that the judge could rule in favour of that man, based on biology," he said.

"I can't bear that. We have to be positive."

The boys were subdued at dinner.

"My investigators are looking into that man's background. We're all doing what we can to make sure that you stay with your family, Gabe," said Josh. Gabe nodded.

"You boys will always be brothers, do you understand?" continued Josh. The boys nodded.

"This will always be your home." Nora cleared the table, and the boys left the room. Nora returned to the dining room. Josh was sitting with his elbows on the table, and his head in his hands. She put her arms round him from behind. He started, then he relaxed. Nora kissed his cheek then she sat beside him, and held his hand.

"You're not alone," she said. He looked at her.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"Alright, and yours?"

"I don't want to think about mine."

"Well, I got flowers from a client, and..."

"Do you like flowers?"

"Always."

"What were they for?"

"A job well done."

"I'm happy for you."

"Thank you. After that, I sorted out a problem that had arisen because Lauren is on leave, and then..."

"And then?"

"Selina says the divorce came through."

"Already? How's she doing?"

"Alright, and she says the kids have accepted it. I want to go and see her, but with things as they are..."

"Go, take the boys, give them something else to think about."

"What about you?"

"Don't worry. What else happened?"

"I googled my cousins, remember I told you about them?"

"Yes."

"I think I found one of them, she has a different surname, but she looks the same. I'm going to get in touch with her."

"Good luck."

"Thank you. I had thought to ask you to help me with that."

"Then why didn't you? I'd have done it happily."

"Things came up."

"I can help with the others if you want me to."

"Thanks," yawned Nora.

"Get to bed," said Josh.

"Are you coming?"

"In a while."

When she woke up in the morning, Nora realised that Josh had not come to bed. She prepared for work, then she went to the dining room. The boys were packing their food to take to school. She greeted them, and asked where Papa was, none of them had seen him. Nora phoned him and the phone went to voicemail.

Over the next few days, she heard about Josh from Maxwell, who would come home with messages from Josh, saying that he was fine, and working on keeping Gabriel at home with them. One evening, she arrived from work, and Josh met her at the front door. She looked him over.

"You lost weight," she said.

"Hi," he said.

"Are you alright? I was worried about you."

"I'm fine. I sent you messages every night."

"That's not the way I want to communicate with my husband."

"Are you coming in?" Nora put her arms round him, and held him tight. She heard him sighing, as he held her too.

Dinner was lively, as the boys vied to tell Josh what they had been up to. They followed him to the study after dinner, intent on catching up fully with him. Nora went to the bedroom to phone Selina. She was fine, and adapting to being divorced.

"I'm going to meet someone I think is my cousin, do you want to come with me?" asked Nora.

"I thought we had no family on Ma's side," said Selina.

"I lost touch with our cousins after our parents married, but I'm trying to get in touch with them again. Will you come?"

"Of course."

"Why didn't you join us in the study?" asked Josh, when he joined her in bed.

"I wanted to check on Selina, and I thought you and the boys needed time alone."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

"I'm going to meet the cousin I told you about. She may not want to have anything to do with me."

"Go and see what happens. Do you want me to come with you?"

"I'm taking Selina."

The meeting with Nora's cousin, Lillian, went well. Lillian was polite, and kept glancing at Selina, saying that she was the very image of aunt Diana. Selina asked her many questions that she answered. She asked questions of Selina, and Nora, then there was a pause.

"Did you kill those people, Nora?" asked Lillian.

"Yes," said Nora.

"There were circumstances," said Selina.

"There would have to be. The Nora I know is not a killer," said Lillian.

"You don't want to never see me again?" asked Nora.

"You're family, of course I want to see you again," said Lillian. Nora leaned towards her and held her tight.

"What is it?" asked Lillian.

"I'm so happy you don't want to break ties with me," said Nora, releasing her cousin.

"As I said, you're no killer." Lillian said that she had an appointment, then she hugged exchanged contact details with her cousins, then she left. Nora thanked Selina for meeting with Lillian with her, and Selina thanked her for introducing her to a member of their mother's family.

The court date arrived, and Josh and Gabriel went to court. When they returned home, they said that they had been ordered to do paternity tests, and they had done them immediately.

"I don't care what those results say, that man is not my father," said Gabriel. The results came out, the man was Gabriel's biological father. Another court date was set. The man had gone public with the story, accusing Josh of having stolen his child. The media were having a field day.

Gina arrived for the hearing. She was called to the stand, and testified that the man had denied that he was the father. Disappointed and afraid, she had married Joshua, after telling him that he was the father of her unborn child, and to all intents, he was the father of Gabriel. The prosecutor made her out to be unreliable and unsteady, as she was on her fourth marriage.

The defence called on several people, who had witnessed the man denying paternity, and calling Gina every name under the sun. The prosecution tried to discredit them, but the defence asked why they would lie, when it was clear that Gina was not going to give them anything. That seemed to make it clear that Josh had not stolen Gabriel. The judge ruled that Gabriel go with the man.

"Nooooo! Noooooo!" screamed Gabriel. He clung to Josh, who was holding him tight, with tears on his cheeks. The man wrestled Gabriel off Josh, and dragged him away.

"Papa! Papa! Papa!" screamed Gabriel. Nora was crying as she watched the man push Gabriel into a car, climb in beside him and get driven off. She and Josh were silent as they were driven home. Nora kept reliving every moment, and concluded that the man and the judge were in cahoots. There was no way in a fair world that the man could have been given Gabriel. At home, Josh told Allen and Peter what had happened. They looked at him in horror, then they looked at Nora. She nodded.

They looked at each other, then they left the room. Nora could not cook. She went to buy takeaways. None of her family members could eat. Nora packed the food away, and went to look for the boys. They were lying beside each other on Gabriel's bed. She sat at his desk. They were all quiet for a long time, then Josh joined them.

"It's time for us all to sleep," he said.

He appealed the court decision the very next day. Two days later, Gabriel was reported missing. The man came to Josh's home with policemen to look for him, but they did not find him. Josh continued with the appeal.

Days later, Gabriel appeared virally, on a talk show. He proceeded to prove, via a paper trail, that the man had paid the judge on several occasions. He also provided a telephone conversation in which the man was saying that he was going to use Gabriel as leverage to get Josh and his friends in the revenue service to stop investigating his business activities. Gabriel then made it clear that he had made several copies of everything, and asked the people that he had sent copies to, to avail the copies to the world, if anything untoward happened to him.

The appeal case was suddenly brought forward. Josh had lost weight, he had stopped eating, and socialising with his family. The boys were worried about him and Gabriel. At the appeal, Gabriel was ordered to return to the Mkhuba home. Josh made an appeal on TV, virally and on radio, for him to come home, where his family was waiting for him. It was a week before he turned up. It was early evening. Nora was cooking.

"Mama?" she heard.

"Gabriel!" she said. She dropped what she was doing, and went to hold him tight. He held her just as tightly. She could feel tears on her cheeks.

"Gabe!" screamed Peter. Nora released Gabriel, as his brothers took turns to hold him. Josh entered the room, and stood watching them.

"Where's Papa?" asked Gabriel.

"I'm here," said Josh. Gabriel released his brothers, and ran into his father's arms. They wept together.

Nora cleaned her face and finished cooking.

"Go and get cleaned up, then we'll all have supper," said Josh. The boys left the room.

"Where did he come from?" asked Josh.

"I don't know."

"Hi aunty," said Gabriel's friend, Noel.

"Hi! How are you?" asked Nora, hugging him.

"I'm fine, thanks. I brought Gabe back."

"Was he with you?"

"Yes."

"Thank you. I must thank your parents."

"No! No, there's no need."

"What do you mean?"

"Please don't say anything. They didn't know that he was with me."

"Oh!"

"Thank you for looking after him," said Josh.

"I was happy to. I have to go home now." Josh walked Noel out, while Nora finished cooking.

Dinner was lively. Everyone had many questions for Gabriel. He answered them all, then he asked to be excused as he was exhausted. Nora held him tight, and he did not resist. He hugged his father, then he and his brothers left the dining room. Nora looked at Josh. He looked alive. He had lost that lacklustre look that had been on his face ever since Gabriel had been gone.

He kissed Nora and led her to their bedroom. He kissed and caressed her frantically, then he made love to her as if it was the last thing that he was doing before he died. He and Nora lay panting beside each other, exhausted by pleasure.

"I'm glad he's back," said Josh.

"No more starving yourself."

"I have no reason to do that anymore."

"I don't want to lose you."

"You won't. I love you."

# CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Some evenings later, Nora found a guest in the lounge. The woman in there stood, as Nora entered. She looked familiar. Nora greeted her, and invited her to sit down.

"Who are you, and what can I do for you?" she asked.

"I'm Prosperity Nantu. I'm in the process of divorcing Gordon, your brother," said the woman.

"That man is no relative of mine," Nora said coldly.

"I need your help."

"My help?"

"He refuses to divorce me, and says I'm lying about him abusing my child."

"Where do I come into that?"

"You can tell the court that he's done it before."

"No!"

"Sister Nora..."

"I'm not going to do that!"

"Please!" Nora looked away from the tears on the woman's cheeks.

"She's nine, Sister, nine, and she's got a haunted look in her eyes. She doesn't play with other children, and she's scared, so scared," Prosperity said in a low voice. Nora felt a lump in her throat, remembering how scared she had been as a child.

"Please, Sister, help me. That's the only way to free her."

"Is she going for psychological help?" asked Nora.

"I don't work, I don't have the money for that." Nora closed her eyes.

"Did you know that he abused Selina's Diana?" she asked as she opened her eyes.

"No, I didn't know."

"She's going for help. Your girl should too. I can pay for her. That's the only way I can help you. Don't ask me to go to court. I can't, I just can't."

"Sister, please," begged Prosperity, kneeling at Nora's feet.

"What's the matter?" asked Josh, as he entered the room. Nora and Prosperity quickly wiped the tears off their faces.

"Nora?" said Josh.

"Hi," said Nora.

"Talk to me," said Josh, sitting beside her. Prosperity returned to her seat. Nora made the introductions.

"I've asked Sister Nora to testify in court that Gordon abused her," said Prosperity.

"I'm not going to do that," said Nora.

"Why not?" asked Josh.

"Are you crazy? I'm not going to stand infront of the world, and admit that..."

"Everyone who read about your trial knows about it."

"Then, it was a minor issue, this...No, I can't." She could feel Josh watching her.

"What's your child's name?" he asked Prosperity.

"Nozaldine. She was full of love, now, she's full of fear. You should see her Brother, it's heart-breaking to watch her. How did a man that old think it was alright to sleep with someone who doesn't even have breasts? She's a child! She still has her milk teeth! What is wrong with that man? And what is wrong with me? Why didn't I see what was going on?"

"Don't blame yourself."

"Then who will I blame? That is _my_ child. I'm the only parent she has. It's my job to look after her, but I left her alone to be..." she said, weeping from the depths of her being. Nora was hurt by the sound. It reminded her of Ma, she had wept in that very manner. She went to hold Prosperity.

"Stop that. It changes nothing," she said.

"What can I do?" asked Prosperity.

"I've said I'll pay for psychological help."

"We also need you to come to court with us."

"I..."

"We'll come back to you about that," said Josh. Prosperity cleaned her face.

"I have to go. Thank you for seeing me," she said, then she left.

Nora looked at Josh, he was watching her.

"I'm going to shower," she said. She could feel his eyes on her as she left the room. Under the shower, she wept for Prosperity's child, for Selina's child, and for the child that she had been. Their innocence had been taken from them, and fear had replaced the love and carefreeness that had been theirs, before Gordon had hurt them. She joined the family for dinner.

"Mama, why were you crying?" asked Gabriel. Nora looked at him.

"Your eyes are red and puffy," he said. Nora looked away from him.

"Has something upset you? Did someone say something mean?" he demanded. She looked at him, surprised by his passion.

"I'm fine," she said.

"Mama?" Nora smiled, glad that he was too polite to call her a liar.

"That lady that came to see me wants me to do something that..."

"That what?"

"That will hurt."

"What does she want you to do?"

"Go to court."

"For what? Is someone suing you?"

"No, but things could get ugly. Your Aunty has a brother who's older than both of us. He..."

"Abused you. It was in all the papers."

"Yes. He also abused his wife's child. She wants me to tell that to the court, because her husband refuses to divorce her."

"Are you going to do it?"

"No."

"Won't it help that child?"

"Yes, but..."

"Maybe you're not the only adult he's abused. There must be others that he abused before and after you, but before this girl you have to go to court for."

"I hadn't thought about that."

"Papa, can you get people to check on the man's past? Maybe if Mama's not testifying alone, she won't be so scared." Nora looked from Gabriel to Josh.

"I could, if Mama wants me to," he said.

"She does."

"She hasn't asked me."

"Please, help me," said Nora.

"I will."

"No more crying, Mama," said Peter. Nora nodded.

She received a phone call when she was at work.

"Nora, we need to talk," said Gordon. Nora felt her blood go cold. She could not speak, or do anything.

"Meet me after work today, if you know what's good for you," he said, then he cut the call. Nora dropped the phone. After work, she went to meet Gordon. They met in a restaurant. She sat opposite him.

"You're still as beautiful as ever," he said. Nora felt as if she had been dumped in ice. There was a knot sitting heavily in her belly.

"Why are you looking so scared? We're family," said Gordon. Nora looked about, licking her lips nervously.

"Prosperity has asked you to tell the court that I abused you when you were a child," continued Gordon. Nora did not respond.

"We both know that that's not true," said Gordon. Nora's throat was too dry to speak. Gordon leaned forward in his seat.

"You'll go to court, and say you were mistaken in saying I abused you. You will tell them what a good brother I was to you, and how good my father and I were to you and that useless mother of yours. Do I make myself clear?" he said. Nora nodded. Gordon stood and left. Nora closed her eyes. The knot in her stomach tightened further when she heard someone stand beside her. She opened her eyes and looked up.

"Gabriel?" she said.

"Who's that man?" Nora looked away from him.

"Is he the one that hurt you?" insisted Gabriel.

"Yes."

"What are you doing meeting him alone?"

"I..."

"You can never meet him alone again!"

"Gabe..."

"I'll take you home."

"My car..."

"We'll go in your car. I came here with friends." Nora nodded. Gabriel helped her to her feet and guided her to a table. He introduced her to his friends, then he told them that he had to take her home.

She showered at home, then she joined the family for dinner.

"Why did you go and meet Gordon?" demanded Josh. Nora looked at Gabriel.

"I asked you a question," said Josh. Nora looked at him.

"He said I should meet him if I knew what's good for me."

"He has nothing on you, Nora. Why did you believe his threat? It's empty."

"He can hurt Ma," Nora said in a low voice. She noticed that everyone was looking at her oddly.

"Where is your Mama?" asked Peter. Nora frowned at him.

"She died a long time ago."

"Then how can he hurt her?" Nora drew back, then she sat down. Everyone else sat down too.

"What did he say?" asked Josh. Nora brought her phone out of her pocket, and played the recording of the conversation that she and Gordon had had.

"It was clever of you to tape the conversation. Don't meet him again," said Josh.

"I have to do what he says."

"No, you don't!"

"You don't understand."

"Make me understand." Nora looked at him helplessly, then she looked at the table.

"We should eat," she said.

After dinner, she washed up the dishes, and started baking.

"Mama?" said Peter. Nora looked at him.

"You should be doing your homework," she said.

"Don't see that man again."

"I..."

"Please, Mama. He'll hurt you again, and I'll kill him!" shouted Peter. Nora stared at him in shock.

"Peter?" said Josh, coming into the room.

"If that man hurts Mama again, I'm going to kill him," said Peter with certainty, with tears of fury in his eyes.

"He's not going to hurt her."

"She's going to see him again."

"No, she's not."

"But..." said Nora.

"You are not going to see him again!" decreed Josh. Nora nodded. Peter left the room.

"You cannot meet that man again. Do you want the boys putting themselves in danger by confronting him?" asked Josh.

"They don't know where he lives."

"Gabriel is a computer whizz. He can find anyone, anywhere. If the boys confront him, he could hold onto them to make sure you testify the way he wants you to."

"No!" said Nora, feeling cold.

"You can't meet him," said Josh.

"Then what do I tell him if he phones me again?"

"Which number did he use?"

"The office one."

"I'll have it bugged, as well as your cell phone."

"Joshua!"

"I want you safe at all times!"

"What do I say if..."

"Say you'll meet him, then one of my connections will be with you. I'll tell the boys that you'll have bodyguards, and that they are not to confront that man."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Bringing you all this drama. If I wasn't here..."

"Don't talk like that. You're family, and we look after our own. Come to bed."

Nora could not sleep. She even took sleeping tablets, but still, she could not sleep. One night, as she sat waiting for the new day to dawn, she remembered that she had started forgiving Gordon. Maybe she could go back to that, and maybe her forgiveness would help her not be afraid of him. She affirmed her forgiveness of him, but she did not feel it. She kept at it, until the day dawned.

In her spare moments, or whenever she thought of him, and felt the fear that accompanied thoughts of him, she would affirm her forgiveness of him. When those affirmations did not seem to work, she went to see Selina and told her about her meeting with Gordon, and how she had been feeling as helpless and afraid at that meeting, as she had done when he had been abusing her.

"You aren't a child, Sister, he doesn't control you anymore," said Selina.

"I know! But I just felt..." She shook her head, reliving the feelings.

"You need help," said Selina.

"That's why I've come to you. Help me to forgive him, I think if I forgive him, I won't feel so powerless."

"I can try, Sister, but you need professional help. There are people who are trained to help people who've been in your situation to take back their power, and stop giving their abusers power over them."

"I don't give him power over me."

"Then why are you so scared of him?"

"He hurt me!"

"In the past! Now, you can fight, in many ways. You should not still be freezing when you hear his voice. Go and see the psychologist that Di is seeing."

"I don't need to."

"You know you do." Nora looked away from Selina.

Gordon phoned her.

"I don't want to meet you," she said, with a pounding heart.

"I think you do." Nora put the phone down. It rang immediately, and she picked it up.

"Don't ever, EVER put the phone down on me," shouted Gordon. Nora did not respond. Her heart was pounding with fear. She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths.

"I'm talking to you!" shouted Gordon. Nora opened her eyes.

"You listen to me, you child-molesting no-good," she said coldly, and heard Gordon gasp.

"I will not be dictated to by you, ever again. Get off the phone, and stay away from me," she continued, then she cut the call. Her phone rang again. She ignored it. It rang three times, and each time, she let it ring until it stopped.

# CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Later in the day, she picked up her ringing phone.

"Aunty?" said a tearful child.

"Who is this?" asked Nora, with a beating heart.

"It's Diana."

"What's the matter?"

"I'm with Uncle."

"What?" said Nora, getting to her feet, and tipping her chair back.

"Nora, will you listen to me now?" asked Gordon.

"What do you want?" asked Nora.

"Meet me."

"Let her go."

"Not until you meet me."

"Of course I'll meet you. Take that child back to her mother."

"I'm keeping her, until you testify."

"No!" said Nora, feeling close to tears.

"This is where you'll meet me after work," said Gordon, then he cut the call.

Nora phoned Josh to tell him about the call. He said that he and his security people would look into it, and someone would be with her but out of sight, at her meeting with Gordon. Nora asked if she should tell Selina about Diana, and Josh told her to advise Selina to file a kidnapping charge against Gordon. Nora phoned Selina.

"Diana's at home. She finished school, and went home, as usual," said Selina.

"Are you sure?"

"She always does that."

"Phone home, now."

"Sister..."

"Phone, Selina, I'll hold, while you use your other phone." Nora listened to the hold music that Selina had put on, while she phoned home.

"Sister, she's not home," she said.

"She's with Gordon," said Nora.

"No she isn't, maybe she's delayed somewhere, playing."

"Does she do that?"

"No."

"Lay a kidnap charge against him."

"Are you crazy?"

"The police will look for him, and bring her back. He says he wants to hold her until after his divorce hearing. That could take months."

"No!"

"Phone the police. Josh gave me a name and number that you should call, and say that he gave you the number." Selina took down the details, and cut the call. Nora closed her eyes, cursing Gordon.

After work, she went to meet him. The meeting place was a deserted building in the old part of town, with many abandoned buildings, some of which were inhabited by homeless people. She was frightened by the look of the place, by the fact that it was deserted, and by the fact that she did not know what Gordon would do, to Diana, or to her.

She walked into the building, realising that the sun would soon set, and not knowing the place, she would be vulnerable to Gordon. She looked about as she walked slowly in the building. When she felt far enough in the building, she stopped.

"You're too far, come closer," said Gordon. Nora looked about, she could not see him. She walked slowly towards the voice, fighting hard in her mind not to feel as if she had no choice. She reached a doorway, and stopped. She heard a gun cocked, then a shot was fired. She threw herself on the floor. She heard another gunshot, and listened for footsteps or sounds,that would tell her where the shots were coming from.

"Nora? Nora. Nora, talk to me when I talk to you," said Gordon.

"What do you want?" asked Nora, tired of being afraid.

"I want to kill you. Ever since you started spouting trash from that filthy mouth, my life has been hell. I'm going to get rid of you once and for all."

"What about Diana?"

"She's good for a few more years, then I'll kill her too."

"Why, Gordon? Why do you hurt children?"

"They are not children!"

"Then what are they?"

"Where are you? I don't see you."

"Switch on a light."

"Don't get cocky with me. I have that worthless Diana here, and I'll blow her brains out." Nora stood. Gordon laughed.

"You've always been a softie. I don't see you being able to kill those men. Someone else did it, and you took the credit," he said.

"Let Diana go. What has Selina ever done to you, that you do this to her child?"

"Shut up!" shouted Gordon. Nora could hear that he was upset, he could hurt Diana if she did not do what he wanted.

She stepped back from the doorway.

"Get back to where you were," said Gordon. Nora returned to the doorway.

"Diana? Diana," called Nora. There was no response.

"Diana," shouted Nora.

"Don't you answer when you're called?" asked Gordon.

"Aunty," said a tearful child.

"Are you alright?" asked Nora.

"Yes."

"Of course she's alright. I'm not going to hurt her, not while I have use for her. You know, I should have killed you that night you accused me of making you pregnant," said Gordon.

"Why didn't you?"

"I don't know, but now, you've pushed me too far. This is all your fault! Everything I ever did to you, you caused me to do."

"So you admit to abusing me?"

"I admit to you making me angry by trying to make my father stop loving me."

"I never wanted that!"

"Yes, you did! You and your pretty smile, and the way you did what he wanted. He started to love you, and I couldn't have that."

"What about Diana? Who's love was she stealing?"

"Shut up!"

"Diana?"

"Aunty," said Diana.

"Are you tied up?"

"Yes."

"Does it hurt? Diana?"

"Shut up, Nora! I'm thinking," shouted Gordon.

"Can you think? All you know is how to hurt people."

"I'm going to hurt Diana if you don't shut up."

"And how will that help you? While you hurt her, I'll run out of here and get help, and tell everyone that you're more than a child abuser, you're also a kidnapper, and an aspiring murderer."

"The second you leave, is the second this child dies."

"Kill me."

"I will."

"Let Diana go, and kill me. You don't want to traumatise her. If she doesn't see you hurt me, she can't be a witness to anything."

"I'm going to kill her too."

"Why? What could she possibly have done to you?"

"She has the name of the witch that refused me when I wanted to sleep with her!" shouted Gordon.

"You tried to sleep with Ma?" gasped Nora.

"Now, I sleep with her whenever I want to, and there's nothing she can do about it."

"That child is not my mother!"

"Shut up! You've always talked too much. Even as a child, you'd talk too much and try to stop me from doing what I had to do. That husband of yours should teach you to curb your tongue. How did you trick him into marrying you?"

"Diana? Diana!"

"Ma," Diana said timidly. Nora started singing a song that she had taught Selina when she had been a child. Diana started singing along.

"Shut up!" shouted Gordon.

"Don't be afraid, Diana," said Nora.

"She should be afraid, because I'm going to..." said Gordon. There was a heavy thud, then there was a scream.

"Diana!" shouted Nora, going towards the scream. It stopped as abruptly as it had started.

"Diana. Diana, I can't see you. Sing, sing, and I'll come to you. Sing, Di, please, sing," said Nora, then she started singing the song that she had been singing. Diana did not join in.

"Diana!" shouted Nora.

The place was suddenly lit up, and people were running towards her. She stepped back, confused.

"It's alright, Ma'am, the child is fine, too," said a man.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"We're with the security company that's making sure that you're safe."

"Who's with Diana?"

"Some of our agents."

"Men or women?"

"Men."

"She's scared of men. Take me to her, please."

"Are you alright? Did he shoot you?"

"I'm fine. Take me to Diana." She was led to Diana, who was on another floor, crouched on the ground, crying, as she looked about at the men trying to reassure her.

"Diana, it's alright," said Nora.

"Aunty?" said Diana, looking about. She spotted Nora, stood, and ran to her. Nora knelt, and put her arms round her.

"It's fine, you're safe," she said.

"I want to go home," said Diana.

"Okay, we'll go home soon. You're safe now. You were very brave."

"I don't ever want to see Uncle again."

"You won't have to. Officer, can we go now?" asked Nora.

"Not yet, the police want to ask you a few questions," said an officer. Nora closed her eyes, feeling bad for Diana, and for herself. She had had enough of the police, she did not want another encounter with them.

The police talked to Diana, then to Nora, about what had happened. Nora told them some details, then she gave them the recording that she had made.

"I have to take Diana home, that recording has everything you need," she said. The police let her go. She was driven to Selina's home by the security agents hired by Josh. Selina, her other children, and the psychologist were waiting anxiously for Diana. She cried in her mother's arms, Selina herself looked close to tears. Nora asked to go home, and Selina thanked her, and let her go.

"Mama!" shouted Peter, as Nora entered her home. She dropped her bag, and held him as tightly as he was holding her.

"Are you alright, Mama?" asked Allen.

"I'm fine," said Nora. Peter released her, Allen and Gabriel hugged her, as she held back tears.

"Papa just went out, he said he'll be back soon," said Gabriel.

"Thank you. I'll go and shower," said Nora. She could feel the boys watching her as she left the entrance hall. She decided that a bath would be better than a shower, she wanted to take a long one, but she was worried about Josh. She wondered where he was, and what he was doing. She finished her bath, dressed, and phoned Josh. He did not answer his phone, she left a message saying that she was worried about him, and that she and Diana were both safe and home.

She joined the boys for dinner, though she did not have an appetite. They wanted to know what had happened, she gave them a brief summary, and asked them to let her rest for the night, as she did not want to remember. The boys talked about their upcoming activities. They went to sleep, and still, there was no sign of Josh. Nora phoned him again, and still, he did not answer his phone. She went to the bedroom to try and sleep, but whenever she closed her eyes, she saw Gordon's face.

The bedroom door opened, and her husband walked in.

"Josh?" she said. He looked different. He looked dangerous.

"Josh?" she repeated, as he approached her, taking his clothes off, and dropping them onto the floor. He pulled the bedding off her, joined her on the bed and kissed her deeply, caressing her frantically. He broke the kiss, and ripped her negligee. She gasped, shocked and excited. He kissed her, as he caressed her bare skin. She felt his hands in her panties, caressing her intimately.

He kissed his way down her throat, her chest, and onto her belly. He stopped kissing her, and took off her panty and the torn negligee, then he looked into her eyes. He parted her legs, and moved between them, then he joined his body to hers. He set a frantic rhythm, thrusting in and out of her as if he was in a race. She tried to catch up, but he was way ahead of her. She watched as he shuddered, and shivered with pleasure. She caressed his face. He collapsed on her, gasping for air. She felt cold when he moved to her side. She could hear that his breathing was getting back to normal.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine, so is Diana. Where were you?"

"Out."

"I hoped to find you here."

"Well, you didn't." Nora looked at him, puzzled by his anger.

"Do you want me to not be here?" she asked.

"No!"

"Then why are you angry with me?"

"I am not angry with you!"

"Then why are you shouting at me?"

"Because!" Nora sat up, feeling anger welling up inside her, and climbed out of the bed.

"Where are you going?" demanded Josh.

"Some place I'm wanted."

"You're wanted here."

"I don't feel it. I'll be back when I've calmed down. I don't want to say, or do anything to hurt you. I'll see you," Nora said, as she dressed hurriedly. She was almost at the door, when Josh reached it first, and stood barring her way.

"I'm sorry," he said. Nora drew back, surprised.

"For what?" she asked.

"Taking my anger out on you. I'm not I'm angry with you, I'm angry with that man who hurt you."

"The police have him."

"That doesn't make it okay for him to shoot at you, or plan to kill you."

"I'm fine."

"I know. And I'm very glad," he said, putting his arms round her. Nora put her arms round him.

"I'm sorry for being inconsiderate in our intimacy. My emotions were running too high, but that's no excuse," continued Josh. Nora shrugged.

"Do you want to talk, sleep, or eat? We'll do whatever you want to do," said Josh.

"I want to hold you."

"Okay, let's get into bed, then you'll get warm," said Josh, walking her to the bed. They climbed in, and held each other close.

"Aren't you getting into your pyjamas?" Nora asked.

"I just want to be with you."

"Have you been here all the time?"

"I was with the security team a while, but they wouldn't let me go with them to your meeting place."

"Why not?"

"They said I was too emotional and likely to disrupt the operation."

"What were you emotional about?"

"I wanted to grab that cowardly man, and beat him to a pulp."

"Oh!"

"After listening to your phone conversation, I had to be held down to stop me jumping into a car, and..."

"I hate putting you through all this stress."

"I'm just grateful to have you in my life. How are the boys?"

"Fine, didn't they wonder where you were going, and why you were going?"

"No, they know when I need to go out, and I've told them many times, that it is nothing against them. You too need to understand that when I'm upset, I go out, that way, I don't do or say anything that will hurt my family."

"Ah! What are you doing?" gasped Nora, as she felt a finger caressing her pleasure button.

"I'm making up for being inconsiderate."

"Ah," gasped Nora again, as Josh introduced a finger into her body and moved it about until he hit a bunch of nerves that filled her with excitement.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yes," panted Nora.

"Should I stop?"

"No!" Josh kissed her hard, then she broke the kiss as the pleasure escalated and peaked, making her body shake in shiver in a big orgasm.

When she started catching her breath, Josh was holding her close. He kissed her forehead.

"I love you," he said. She nodded.

# CHAPTER SIXTEEN

That weekend, Nora and her family went to a holiday resort. They spent most of the time together, getting to know each other better, and doing things together. They returned home, and Nora felt better about everything. Selina phoned her.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Fine."

"Go for help."

"Lina..."

"Sister, please! Please."

"Fine! I'll think about it. How's Di?"

"I don't know. She doesn't talk much. Maybe you can talk to her?"

"About what?"

"Abuse. I have no experience of it, and maybe, she'll talk to you, because you're not a doctor, and you went through a frightening experience together. Sister, will you think about it?"

"Yes."

Next evening, Nora phoned home to say that she would be dining at Selina's home. Selina was glad to see her. The children took her arrival in their stride, except Diana, who held her tight. The family ate, then everyone went to do their homework. Selina left Nora and Diana alone in the lounge.

"Aunty?" said Diana.

"Yes, Diana?"

"Did Uncle hurt you too?"

"Yes, he did."

"I'm scared of him."

"He won't hurt you again."

"I hate him."

"I hated him too, for a long time."

"You don't hate him anymore?"

"I don't want to feel like he has power over me, so I'm working on forgiving him."

"Oh!"

"It's hard work."

"Did you see a doctor, like I'm doing?"

"No."

"Why?"

"We didn't have doctors like that when I was small."

"The doctor makes me feel better."

"Really?"

"You should talk to her too."

"We'll see. It wasn't your fault that Uncle hurt you."

"The doctor said that too."

"The doctor was right."

"Are you alright?" asked Josh, when Nora returned home.

"I'm fine."

"Come to bed."

"How are the boys?"

"Fine."

"How are you?"

"Fine, why do you ask?"

"You were stressed yesterday."

"You're fine, and that makes me fine. Where were you?"

"I went to see Diana."

"How is she?"

"Fine, all things considered. She's seven, Josh, seven years old, and Gordon thinks it's okay to..."

"Now's not a good time to talk about him."

"He makes me sick! I wish..." Nora closed her eyes and sat down.

"What's the matter?" asked Josh.

"I just realised that I still give him power. I thought I'd gotten over him, but...this can't go on. I'm going to see Diana's psychologist."

"Oh!"

"Things have to change now. I no longer want to see men as no-goods. It is so exhausting."

"Are the boys and me in that class of no-goods?"

"Never! How can you even ask that?"

"I just want to be sure."

"You and the boys have shown me that I can be proud of having a family."

Gordon's divorce was granted, and Prosperity was given half of his assets. Nora had started seeing a psychologist. Recalling her experiences with Gordon and other men hurt, but she found that she was hating Gordon less and less, and knew that in time, he would not matter an iota to her.

Gina arrived to see the boys. Gabriel left the room. Peter and Allen just stared at her. They did not greet her, and they did not return her greeting.

"Well?" said Josh.

"You should teach your children manners," said Gina.

"If you..."

"Boys, excuse us," said Nora. The boys left the room. Nora closed the door, and invited Gina to sit down. She sat down, then Nora looked at Josh. He looked away from her, and went to stand at a window, looking out onto the lawn. Nora sat down.

"Where is your husband?" she asked.

"In Canada, spending time with his children. I thought I'd spend time with mine, but like their father, they don't want to see me."

"Do you blame them?" demanded Josh.

"What did I ever do to them?"

"You almost destroyed their family! If Gabriel had been taken away for good..." Josh choked on his words, and left the room.

"Well, are you going to send me away?" Gina asked Nora.

"Do you want me to?"

"I don't know. Do you know what I do know? That I should never get married. I'm just not cut out for all the drama, and fights, and hate. I'm getting divorced, and this time, I'm living my life alone."

"I thought your husband was nice."

"No man is nice. When are you getting rid of Joshua?"

"I'm not getting rid of him."

"He's a stuck up, moralistic, overworking..."

"That's enough." Gina was surprised into silence, and studied Nora.

"You love him. You love him, don't you?" she asked. Nora tried to speak, but no words came out of her mouth. Gina laughed until tears were rolling down her cheeks, then she started crying. Nora was surprised by the change of mood, then she went to put an arm round her shoulders. Gina turned to her, put her head on her bosom, and wept as if her heart was broken.

The tears finally stopped. Gina sat up, and cleaned her face.

"Are you alright?" asked Nora. Gina nodded.

"Then why did you cry like that?"

"I want someone just like you, to love me the way you love Joshua."

"I'm sure you can find a man..."

"I don't want a man! I've never wanted a man."

"What do you mean?"

"I like women. I always have, but no one is supposed to express that kind of feeling. Now, I'm too tired to pretend with men, so I'm looking for a woman, but I'm old, and no woman will want to look at me. Why did I have to be born this way?"

"I don't know."

"Be happy. And thank you for being a mother to my boys. They think I don't care about them, but I do. The fact that I can't live with them and raise them doesn't mean I don't care about them." The two women were silent, watching each other.

"Do you want to see them sometimes?" asked Nora.

"Yes, that would be nice. Would you let me see them? I don't see Joshua agreeing to that."

"I'll talk to him, and them." There was another silence.

Gina leaned towards Nora. Nora's eyes widened when she thought she saw desire in Gina's eyes. The door opened, and Josh walked in.

"Gina!" he said. Gina drew away from Nora, and stood.

"Have you finally admitted to yourself that you like women?" asked Josh. Gina looked at him, surprised.

"I didn't see i, until the last year of our marriage. When you left me, I thought you were going to a woman," said Josh.

"I didn't have the guts for that then, but now, I'm going to be honest, with myself, and others," said Gina.

"Good luck."

"Thank you."

"I don't want you thinking of getting with Nora."

"I won't. You were good to me, after Gabe's biological father decided I wasn't good enough to marry. Now you have Nora, who's looking after you, and my boys. I'm not going to ruin that for you. Thank you for not letting that man take Gabriel. He has no concept of being a father, or being in a relationship that isn't based on money. I'm getting divorced."

"Again?" Gina shrugged.

"Let me see the boys sometimes. I know you and they think I hate them, but I love them, in my own way," she said. Josh frowned.

"We'll get back to you," said Nora. Josh looked at her as if she was mad. She smiled at him, and the look in his eyes turned into desire.

"You two should get a room," said Gina. Nora smiled at her.

"Can I get you something to eat?" she asked.

"Yes, please." Nora stood.

"Don't leave us alone," said Josh. Nora looked at him. He was dead serious. She sat down, and invited Josh and Gina to sit down, then she phoned Hilda, asking her to bring refreshments.

"You look well," Gina said to Josh.

"You've lost weight."

"Yes."

"You can find, and marry a woman," said Nora.

"No one wants a woman my age."

"You can't be more than thirty three."

"I'm thirty eight."

"Then what's your problem? I'm forty-six, and I got married."

"You can't compare yourself to other women. Your life hasn't exactly been ordinary."

"Where will you be living now?"

"I haven't decided."

"If you're in this city, call me, let's have tea or something."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"Won't your family object?"

"If I brought you home, they might, but as long as you stay away from here, I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Joshua, aren't you going to object? Mind you, you have nothing to worry about. This woman loves you. I've never seen a woman more in love than she is with you." Josh looked from her to Nora, surprised. Nora fidgeted beneath his intense scrutiny.

"You haven't told him?" Gina asked Nora. Nora did not know what to say.

"This is so sweet!" continued Gina. Hilda entered the room, and announced lunch.

The boys were subdued at the table. Gina ate a little, then she played with her food, before putting down her eating utensils.

"Boys, I'm sorry about what happened with Gabe and..." she said. No one said anything.

"I was young and scared, and I didn't want to be a single mother. I should have told your father the truth, but I didn't, and for that I'm sorry. It looks to you as if I don't love you, but I want you to know that I love you all, very much. Leaving you was the most loving thing I could have done for you.

"When I left, I had no energy to be a mother. I still don't have it, but I love you, the way I know how to love. It's not the way your father, or you new Mama love you, but it is love. I hope that when you get older, you'll find it in your hearts to forgive me," concluded Gina. Still, there was no response. Nora changed the subject. Gina left after the meal.

"What did she want?" demanded Gabriel.

"To see you and your brothers," replied Nora.

"For what?"

"She's your mother, she must have been missing you."

"Yeah, right!"

"Her life is not easy."

"And ours is?"

"I'm just saying let her see you sometimes, and try to be kind to her. She's lonely, and needs friends."

"She's got her husband."

"She's getting divorced."

"She's a serial divorcer."

"Be kind, son."

"I don't understand why you're being nice to her."

"When I was on trial, I could have done with some kindness. I understand how lonely she is."

"She should never have been a mother. I hate her."

"I know. You need to understand that she's human. She admitted to making a mistake, find it in your heart to forgive her."

"We'd have been better off with you as our mother."

Nora was shopping with the boys one afternoon, when she heard her name called. Her blood went cold, then she forced herself to breathe. Gordon appeared before her. She assumed that he was out on bail, or that he had paid his way out of the kidnap charges.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I want you to meet me."

"I'm not going to meet you anywhere."

"Oh yes you are, because if you don't, I'll..."

"I'm not a child, we're not in your father's house, there is nothing you can do to me," she said with a pounding heart.

"Shut up!"

"Boys, are you done?" asked Nora.

"No," said Peter.

"Then finish up!" shouted Nora.

"What a loving mother you are," smirked Gordon. Nora punched him. He stared at her in shock, then he raised a fist. Nora threw her bag down, ducked the punch, and head-butted his solar plexus, then she grabbed her bag.

"Let's go, boys," she said curtly. She herded the boys out, keeping an eye on Gordon. He had been winded, but having caught his breath, he was furious.

"Run!" she shouted, as Gordon approached her menacingly. She took a few steps back from him, then she stopped.

"Are you going to hit me?" she asked.

"I'm going to kill you!" roared Gordon, as he threw another punch at her. She ducked, then they started punching and beating each other. Gordon was pulled off her.

"I'll kill you!" he screamed. Nora picked herself up. Gordon was fighting to get back to her as people held him back.

"You beat me, but you worked for it," she panted.

"I'll kill you!"

"No, you won't," Nora said with certainty. She gave him a long look, then someone put her handbag in her hand, and she thanked them.

"Are you alright?" asked Gina. Nora nodded.

"Have you seen the boys?" she asked.

"I got them out to the car. Can we go?"

"You're nothing," said Gordon Nora looked at him. He was no longer being held back.

"I'm somebody," she said with conviction, then she turned to walk away.

"You're nothing, Nora! Nothing!" he shouted. Nora ignored him.

"Get back here, I'm talking to you!" he continued.

"Do you want to lean on me?" asked Gina.

"When he can't see us anymore."

"Okay. Who is he?"

"Can we not talk?" said Nora. She had just realised that she hurt all over. She could not breathe properly, because there was a pain at the side of her chest.

"We're almost there," said Gina. Nora bit her lower lip, focusing on picking up her feet, and putting them one infront of the other.

"I can't go on," she whispered. Gina put an arm round her, and Nora leaned on her fully. They were almost at the mall entrance, when Josh ran in.

"Nora!" he said, shocked by her appearance. He went to her other side, and picked her up. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and everything went black.

# CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

She opened her eyes, she was on a bed, in a strange room. She tried to sit up, and groaned, feeling a pain in her side.

"Nora?" said Josh. He was seated beside her bed.

"Where am I?" she panted, as she caught her breath.

"In hospital."

"Why?"

"You were in a fight." Nora frowned.

"A fight?"

"With Gordon."

"Oh, yes," said Nora, then she smiled.

"How can you smile about that?" asked Josh.

"I hit him, I hurt him back. I always wished I could hurt him, and for once in my life, I did. It was nothing compared to the hurt he inflicted on me, but I paid him back. I will always be proud of doing that. How are the boys?" Josh frowned at her, surprised by the change of topic.

"Fine, and worried about you," he replied.

"How are you?"

"Fine."

"How long have I been here?"

"Three days."

"You haven't slept."

"I..."

"I need you to go home and sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

"I want to be with you."

"I want that too, but the boys need you. Go home to them, you can all come and see me at visiting time."

"Nora..."

"Go and rest, I'll see you later. I love you." Joshua's eyes opened wide.

"That's the first time you've ever said that to me," he said. Nora watched him watching her. He leaned towards her, and kissed her gently.

The kiss ended, and they continued to watch each other. A doctor walked into the room and teased Nora about deciding to join the living, then he looked her over. Afterwards, he assured Josh that she was on the mend. Nora told him about asking Josh to go home and rest, and the doctor agreed, then he left.

"Will you go home now?" asked Nora. Josh nodded.

"How's Gina?" asked Nora. Josh frowned.

"She was very good to me at the time of the fight. Is she still in town? Please ask her to come and see me," continued Nora. Josh looked at her as if she was mad.

"Please," said Nora. Josh looked away from her. Nora touched his hand, then she raised it and kissed it. He looked back at her.

"Please," she repeated.

"I'll see what I can do," yawned Josh.

Nora slept when he was gone. When she woke up, she was cleaned by a nurse, then it was visiting time. She had tears in her eyes as Josh arrived with the boys.

"I'm so glad to see you all," she said.

"You can't get into another fight, Mama, ever!" decreed Peter. Nora nodded. All the boys kissed her cheek, and told her their news. Gabriel had postponed visiting with friends to be with the family. He would go to his friends once Nora was home.

The family left, and Nora felt very alone. Next morning, she told the doctor that she wanted to go home. He was not happy to release her, but she insisted, saying that she would hire a nurse.

Josh phoned to say that he would visit her later. Nora phoned Selina and asked her to hire her a nurse, and fetch her home. Selina hired the nurse, but she could not fetch her home. Nora phoned Belinda, who was out of town, then she phoned Gina, who was available to take her home.

"Thanks for picking me up," said Nora.

"You're welcome. How are you?" asked Gina.

"Lonely, that's why I'm going home. Did I thank you for taking care of the boys and me that day?"

"Yes."

"Thanks again. I was surprised to see Josh."

"I phoned him."

"Thank you." At home, the nurse was waiting for her, and helped her into bed. She woke for lunch, then she asked the staff to tell the boys to come and see her when they returned from school, whether or not she was asleep.

"Mama? Should you be home?" asked Gabriel, with concern.

"Yes, I have a nurse, I'll be fine," said Nora. Gabriel phoned Josh and told him that Nora was home. Josh insisted on speaking to her.

"What are you doing home?" he demanded.

"I live here."

"You're recovering!"

"I can do that here. I have a nurse. Are you coming home?"

"Of course, I'll be there in half an hour, and I'm calling your doctor to ask him what he was thinking when he let you go."

"I felt lonely and unloved in the hospital, so I came home to be with my loving family."

"Hmm."

"Please don't harass the doctor. I ordered him to release me."

"He shouldn't have taken instructions from you! He gives instructions, and you take them."

"I love you."

"I love you, too," whispered Josh.

"Are you with other people?"

"I'm coming home," Josh said curtly, then he cut the call.

When Nora woke up, Josh was sitting beside her, watching her.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi. How are you?"

"Glad to be home. But you don't look happy to see me."

"I'm worried about you!"

"Don't. The nurse knows what she's doing, and I'm taking my medicine." Josh gave her a long look, then he leaned down to kiss her cheek. She smiled at him. The boys came to keep her company, then Josh said that she needed to rest. The boys left.

"Come and sleep with me," said Nora.

"You're not well."

"I need you to hold me."

"Nora..."

"Please."

"I have to shower, then I'll come." After some time, Josh joined Nora in bed, put his arms round her and kissed her gently.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you, too."

Nora was off work for the next two days, then she returned to work. Norman visited her in her office and asked after her health.

"The man that abused you is in jail," he said.

"Really?"

"Josh pressed assault charges, and before he could get bail for that, someone else sued him for fraudulent business dealings, and someone else sued him for abusing his child. Several other people have filed for abuse charges. There is no way he can get away with abuse when so many people are pressing charges against him."

"Oh!"

"I suggest you press charges too."

"It happened a long time ago."

"True, but for the numbers. So far, five people are pressing charges, if you press charges and your niece presses charges and your former step niece presses charges, he'll be in big trouble, with the law, but also in prison, no one likes child molesters. Even if he gets a few months in jail, those months will be the kind of hell that he put you and all those other children through."

"Hmm."

"Think about it."

"I don't want to do court again."

"You might not have to. Talk to Josh and your lawyer, and see what happens." Nora nodded.

After work, she talked to Selina about pressing charges against her brother. Selina had no doubts about pressing charges, and she had already talked to a lawyer about it. Frank supported the pressing of charges. Selina suggested that Nora press charges too, to get a sense that justice had been served

When she returned home, everyone was waiting for her, they had delayed supper because they wanted to eat with her.

"I told Papa that I'd be late, and for you not to wait for me," she said to the family.

"We thought we were going to lose you, Mama. We want to eat with you," said Gabriel. Nora was disarmed, and had to fight hard not to cry. The meal was eaten in silence as everyone was tired, then the boys went to sleep.

"Are you alright?" asked Josh.

"Yes."

"Where did you go?"

"I talked to Selina about pressing charges against the man that abused me."

"Oh!"

"Norman suggested I press charges, and Selina agrees with him. What do you think?"

"Do you want to?"

"For him to know that he did wrong, yes, but I don't want to go to court."

"That can't be helped. See it as the price of getting justice. There's always a price to pay. You just have to decide whether or not going to court a worth getting that man in jail."

"It's worth it."

"Then do it."

"His lawyers will discredit me."

"True, but the beauty here is that you're not alone. They can discredit your testimony, but not the testimony of the other children that he abused, at least not all of them. Even if he isn't sent to jail, his reputation will be ruined beyond repair."

"I'll do it."

"You have my full support."

"Thank you."

"The children might be embarrassed."

"They won't be embarrassed, they'll see it as you trying to get justice."

The following day, Josh accompanied Nora when she went to the police station to press charges against Gordon.

A week later, her lawyer phoned to say that Gordon's case had been brought forward, and she would be needed to testify in a few days. She was very nervous about it, but she wanted to protect other children from him more than she feared being a topic of discussion again.

During dinner one evening, she told the boys that she would be in court to talk about being abused as a child. The boys did not say anything. Nora looked from each of them to Josh. He nodded encouragingly.

"I'm afraid there'll be bad publicity, boys, but it can't be helped. I'm hoping that by testifying, I'll get that man arrested so that he doesn't hurt any more children," said Nora. Still, the boys said nothing.

"Please don't be hurt by the nasty things that people will say to you. It's just that..."

"Can we come to court with you?" asked Gabriel.

"What?"

"We want to come to court with you."

"Oh!"

"We've known for days that you'd go to court, I saw it on the internet. We talked about it, and we want to come to court with you, to show our support."

"Oh!" said Nora, then she looked at Josh, as she did not know what to say to that.

"It's your decision. I'd like to be in court with you too," he said.

"Oh."

"Can we come, Mama?" asked Gabriel.

"It might be a school day," said Nora.

"We can make up for being absent from school. Please let us support you."

"Yes, thank you."

"Don't worry about the publicity and nasty things people will say and write about you. They don't know you, we live with you and know that most of what has been said about you is not true."

"Thank you."

Gordon's trial started. It was three days before Nora was needed in court as there were many other people that had accused him of child molesting.

Nora was very nervous. The prosecution's questions were not challenging, but Gordon's lawyer brought up her murder trial and her sexual history of sleeping her way to the top. She tried to say that she had felt trapped into sleeping with those people, but he called her sex crazed and therefore not credible as a witness.

She was almost in tears, until she looked at Gordon. He was smiling. The tears did not fall, she smiled back at Gordon, and was very glad when he stopped smiling. He looked uneasy. His lawyer asked what she was smiling at. She looked at him, then at Gordon.

"Maybe you're right, I might be a sex crazed fiend, but then, so is your client, and he believes in teaching children to join him in his pastime. No one can accuse me of that," she said. Gordon swallowed. His lawyer asked the court to disregard her words as they were simply her opinion, not fact. Nora was released from the stand.

"Enjoy jail," she said to Gordon as she walked past him. She did not see his reaction, but she knew that she had him rattled. She did not stay for the rest of the proceedings, using the boys as an excuse, saying that she wanted to take them to school as there was still time for them all to go to school for the second half of the day. they were not happy to go to school, but she put her foot down, and they went.

Two weeks later, she read in the papers that Gordon had been sentenced to twenty years in jail for child molesting. Nora was glad. If he survived jail, he would be an old man when he was released and would not be likely to have the energy to abuse more children. His dying in jail would be no great loss to anyone.

"How do you feel about Gordon's sentence?" asked Josh.

"It's about time he was punished for it," replied Nora.

"Do you want to go in see him?"

"For what?"

"To make sure he's behind bars, for hurting you."

"Not really. I don't need to see that. Fighting with him helped me. I felt bad in court when his lawyer tore into me, but that fight took care of the biggest problem I had with him. I felt powerless before, but after fighting him, I got to see him differently."

"What do you mean?"

"Before that, he had all the power, and I felt I had to take whatever he dished up. After the fight, and maybe even during it, I realised that I don't have to take a thing from him, and anything he wants to impose that I don't want, I can refuse, and refuse successfully. He's no longer the big ghost that used to accompany me everywhere and make me miserable.

"Now, my wonderful family accompanies me everywhere, and brings me joy, wherever I am."

"Really?"

"Really. Thank you for asking me to marry you, and giving me a wonderful family."

"You're welcome," said Josh, as he kissed her gently.

# END
