MY NEXT GUEST IS A HILARIOUS
ACTRESS, EXPERT CRAFTER, AND A
TALENTED TUMBLING PARTNER.
HER NEW SHOW IS CALLED "AT HOME
WITH AMY SEDARIS."
>> OKAY.
SO WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE DOING
IS WE'RE GOING TO BE LAYING OUT
THE FILO AND BUTTER IN EACH
INDIVIDUAL LAYER.
A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE INTIMIDATED
BY FILO AND IF THIS IS THE CASE
FOR YOU PICK UP MY LATEST BOOK
ME TALK FIL '01 DAY.
>> GREAT SUMMER READ.
WHY DON'T YOU TELL THE
AUDIENCE HOW WE MET.
>> I USED TO OWN A PASTRY SHOP
DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO TRIFER.
YOU WERE CATERING A LUNCHEON,
AND YOUR OVEN BROKE AND YOU WERE
DESPERATE.
>> YOU WERE WEARING HALF A BRA
AND HAD BLOOD ON YOUR SHOES.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME MY
DEAR FRIEND, AMY SEDARIS!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )
>> WOW!
>> Stephen: HI!
COLBERT!
LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH
YOURSELF!
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK TO
THE ED SULLIVAN!
>> I NEED A LITTLE TOUR.
IS THIS WHITE GRAVY?
>> Stephen: YES.
OKAY
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
THIS IS LOVELY.
WHERE'S THE TOP HAT?
>> I DON'T KISS AND TELL.
( LAUGHTER )
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU,
TOO.
>> YOU DID A LITTLE SEGMENT ON
THE SHOW WHICH IS FUN.
>> Stephen: I DID THIS SEGMENT
ON YOUR SHOW.
WHO IS THIS HANDSOME FELLOW WITH
YOU?
>> WE HAD A GOOD TIME.
>> Stephen: WE HAD A GOOD TIME
TOGETHER.
HOW IS YOUR RABBIT?
>> I HAVE ONE NEW RABBIT TINA.
>> Stephen: WHAT HAPPENED TO
TATTLETALE?
>> TATTLETALE DIED A LONG TIME
AGO.
>> Stephen: HOW LONG DO
RABBITS LIVE?
>> EVERYONE ASKS THAT.
YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A RABBIT.
>> Stephen: MY RABBIT'S STILL
ALIVE.
>> DUSTY LIVED TO BE 12.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A LONG
TIME.
>> SHE DIED IN MY ARM.
THIS IS TRUE, I HAD TO WAIT TILL
HER BODY GOT STIFF, THERE WAS A
SNOWSTORM, COULDN'T GO TO THE
VET.
I HAD TO WAIT TILL SHE GOT
STIFF, MEASURE HER AND PUT HER
IN MY FREEZER.
>> Stephen: WHY DID YOU HAVE
TO MEASURE HER?
>> BECAUSE IN MY REFRIGERATOR,
IT'S ONLY 24 INCHES.
I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING.
>> Stephen: COULDN'T YOU JUST
ATTEMPT IT AND, AGAIN, I KNOW
IT'S A SERIOUS EVENT BUT A BUT
COULDN'T YOU JUST ATTEMPT TO PUT
HER IN THAT WAY?
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MEASURE HER?
>> BECAUSE WHAT IF SHE WAS
25 INCHES LONG DEAD?
AND SHE COULDN'T GET IN AND I'VE
GOT TO STRUGGLE?
NO WAY.
NO WAY.
>> Stephen: NO WAY.
O YOUR RABBIT IS STILL
ALIVE.
>> Stephen: YEAH, BUNNY.
BUNNY'S YOUR RABBIT.
>> Stephen: NO LONGER MY
RABBIT, THOUGH.
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>> Stephen: BECAUSE NO ONE OUT
THERE KNOWS WHAT THE HELL WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT.
WE HAVE FRIENDS WHOSE DAUGHTER
WENT TO COLLEGE AND THEIR BUNNY
COULD NOT GO TO COLLEGE WITH HER
SO THEIR BUNNY BUNNY CAME TO
LIVE WITH US, THE GIRL GRADUATED
AND SHE HAS THE BUNNY BACK.
>> SHE HAS THE BUNNY BACK.
>> Stephen: WE HAD IT WHILE
SHE WAS IN COLLEGE.
>> YOU HAD THE BUNNY FOR A LONG
TIME.
GUESS COLLEGE TAKES A WHILE.
>> Stephen: IT DOES.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR
HALLOWEEN?
>> I'M DRESSING AS A WITCH.
I TAKE MY GRANDCHILDREN TRICK OR
TREATING AND I'M THEIR GOD
MOTHER IN CHARGE OF THEIR
SPIRITUAL GROWTH.
ANTI-GET IN THE BAT GIRL OUTFIT,
SO I'M GOING AS THE WITCH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S YOU HERE?
THAT'S ME WITH THE STOMACH
STICKING OUT.
>> Stephen: NOT AT ALL.
YOU LOOK LOVELY.
SO NOT BAT GIRL THIS YEAR?
>> NO, I'M GOING TO DO THE
WITCH.
I HAVE A GREAT WITCH HAT.
>> Stephen: GOOD OR BAD WITCH?
A GOOD WITCH WITH A DEVILISH
SIDE.
>> Stephen: DO YOU TAKE YOUR
GODMOTHERRING SERIOUS.
>> I DO.
I'M GOOD WITH THEM.
ASK PAUL.
LAST NIGHT I TOOK A MATTRESS ON
THE STAIRS AND WE WERE FLYING
DOWN IT.
IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE RIDING
THE MATTRESS DOWN THE STAIRS?
>> I'M, LIKE, STAND UP ON YOUR
FEET AND GO DOWN.
I'VE DONE REALLY STUPID STUFF
WITH THEM AND I KEEP A DIARY.
PAUL DOESN'T KNOW THE HALF OF
IT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE.
>> Stephen: AND THEY LEAVE YOU
ALONE WITH THESE CHILDREN?
>> I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BABY SIT
WITHOUT AN ADULT AROUND.
I'M NOT MAKING THAT UP.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT BABY
SITTING.
YOU'RE A PLAYMATE.
>> JOHN CARLY THINKS I'M SEVEN.
ISN'T THAT GOOD?
>> Stephen: YOU'RE MATURING.
I'M MATURING.
>> Stephen: THE NEW SHOW, YOU
PLAY YOURSELF AT HOME WITH AMY
SEDARIS.
QUICK QUESTION, I'VE KNOWN YOU
FOR WHAT, 30 YEARS, 1988,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
>> '86 OR SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: WHEN I FIRST MET
YOU, YOU DIDN'T HAVE GLASSES.
NOW YOU HAVE THICK BLACK
GLASSES.
WHERE ARE YOU GLASSES?
>> FOR THE TV SHOW I HAD TO WEAR
LENSES.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU WEARING
THEM NOW?
>> I'M WEARING THEM NOW.
I TOOK CLASSES, AND I PLUCKED MY
EYE SO MUCH I WAS BLEEDING A
WEEK BEFORE THE SHOW.
THEN I TOOK CLASSES, I FAILED
THE FIRST TIME.
I SWEAR TO GOD THE GUY WHO WAS
TEACHING ME SAYS YOU HAVE TO
STAY STRAIGHT AHEAD.
HE WAS CROSS-EYED.
I'M NOT EVEN JOKING.
I SAID, WELL, YOU'RE NOT LOOKING
STRAIGHT.
ANYWAY, I GOT THEM IN.
THEN I HAD A LENS TECH WHO CAME
TO SET.
>> Stephen: A LENS TECH?
YEAH, YOU HIRE THESE PEOPLE
AND THEY'LL COME TO YOUR SHOW
AND THEY'LL PUT CONTACT LENSES
IN.
SHE HAD LONG RAZOR-BACK CLAMS,
RED NAILS COMING AT ME SO I
LEARNED QUICKLY.
( LAUGHTER )
YOU'RE LIKE A PREY ANIMAL.
YOU CAN SEE BEHIND YOU AND THE
WHOLE WORLD IS OPEN.
I ONLY WEAR THEM WHEN I WAS
DOING DIFFERENT CHARACTERS, AND
YOU HAVE TO WEAR MAKEUP AND I
DIDN'T WANT TO WEAR GLASSES.
>> IF YOU WEAR GLASSES YOU'RE
THE SAME CHARACTER.
WHICH IS WHY I DON'T WANT TO
HAVE A BEARD, THEN YOU WILL
ALWAYS BE THE BEARD GUY.
>> NOW YOU'RE JUST THE EAR GUY
WITH THE GLASSES.
I LOVE YOUR EAR!
( LAUGHTER )
NO!
( PIANO RIFF )
THEY DON'T KNOW US!
NO.
THEY DON'T KNOW US!
>> Stephen: WE'VE KNOWN EACH
OTHER SINCE 1988.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND IS THERE
ANYTHING THAT YOU THINK PEOPLE
SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME OF THE 30
YEARS YOU'VE KNOWN ME THAT
PERHAPS I WOULDN'T BE WILLING TO
TELL THEM?
>> WELL, THAT YOU FANCY YOURSELF
A REALLY GOOD COOK.
NO, YOU ARE A GOOD COOK, BUT
BACK IN THE DAY, PAUL AND I
WOULD MAKE FUN OF YOUR RECIPES
ALL THE TIME AND I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE SO SENSITIVE AND IT
HURT YOUR FEELINGS, BUT YOU'RE
OVER THAT NOW, RIGHT?
( LAUGHTER )
( PIANO RIFF )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S ALL
WE HAVE TIME FOR.
( LAUGHTER )
"AT HOME WITH AMY SEDARIS,"
