(crowd applauds)
- Thank you.
Oh, those are bright lights.
- Uh.
- Um.
(whooshing)
(squeaking)
(expectant music)
- My name is Jared, this
is my daughter Flynn.
I guess I'm gonna be tryin'
some stand-up this week.
Ah, ah.
Mmm, thank you.
- Hi, I'm Auri and this is my dad.
- Hi, I'm Cedric.
- He does do a lot of dad jokes
that we started calling groaners,
because they're so bad
they make you groan.
- No, I have not done comedy.
I've seen a lot of comedy.
Entertained the notion
once, I wrote a page down
and I threw it out 'cause it was terrible.
- Do I think I'm funny?
Even a broken clock is right twice a day,
so I guess, yeah, I guess I
hit it every once in awhile.
(bell chimes)
- She likes that voice.
Flynn,
are you sure?
(Flynn laughs)
See, she thinks I'm funny.
(exciting electric guitar music)
- I thought I had a week,
how am I gonna do this?
Both having a job and being a father?
See how hard this is?
- I'm pretty nervous about it actually.
Might wanna have a medic
standing by, seriously.
- I've got 72 hours to
write a five minute set.
- Okay, and you need dad jokes?
What do you say when you
meet a deer with no eyes?
- What do you say?
- I have no eye deer.
- Your dad was proud of that one, too?
- Yeah, he loved it, totally.
- That's good.
- Mommy!
- I just wrote all of
my material last night
and this is like, tomorrow night.
I'll be amongst some seasoned comedians
who probably are gonna kill it.
- So I'm gonna do my set for my family.
My wife didn't know if she
was gonna be a good mother.
How are you supposed to know
if you're gonna be a good mom?
- Mommy!
Oh, but as soon as the baby fell out,
and the did fall out, my
wife wanted the baby out,
and the baby fell out-
- You're gonna share
that information?
- Yes.
- I did look up this article online,
basically it says, six ways not to suck
doing a stand-up routine.
And I figured reading that, you know,
I'm probably gonna do all of those.
- We're still really nervous
but I walked around the block
kind of rehearsing my set in my head
and that made it a little easier.
Right now, I am just kinda writing down
key elements from my set, just so I can
try to remember it better.
I'll probably bring it on the stage
just so I don't get lost.
- You know, in life,
the rewards go to those
that are in the arena fighting.
So if I get up there, having
never done something like this,
just the act of trying, I got
something to feel good about.
(ominous music)
- I am a little nervous about the show.
There might be long pauses,
and it's gonna be kinda awkward,
but I've got a plan for that.
- Lots could go wrong,
jokes might not land,
I might just forget stuff.
I am not ready.
I made a mistake.
I will regret everything.
(audience cheering)
- Thank you.
Alright.
Oh, those are bright lights.
- Uh.
- Um.
Just a shout out to everyone out here,
you're all a beautiful
crowd. (audience cheers)
I just want you to know that.
Yeah, something, you know, that this is
a really an interesting experience.
I'm getting a little lightheaded, um.
(laughs) I guess that's part of
the whole stand-up experience.
Nominative determinism,
anyone ever heard of that one?
I had no idea what it
was, I had to look it up.
Anyway, really quick, it's the uh,
hypothesis that your name, um,
influences your life choices.
So, you know, like if your, you know,
your name is Seymour Skinmore
you'll probably end up
becoming a dermatologist.
You know, like the anasthesiologist,
Dr. Feelgood, obviously, right.
Some low hanging fruit, there.
The, uh, another one is, you know
like Dr. Bonewell would
be a chiropractor, right,
oh, oops. (audience laughs)
That could also be
something else, couldn't it?
Oh well.
- You ever just look at
someone and you're pretty sure,
but you're not sure,
but you don't wanna ask
'cause it might be racist,
like if they're a ninja?
(audience laughs)
Well, I found out a good way to figure out
if someone's a ninja, you just like,
throw a knife at their face.
And if they catch it,
oh shit, that dude's a ninja,
if they don't, you just
stabbed someone in the face.
But if you think someone's a ninja,
they're probably a ninja,
you know what I mean?
(audience laughs)
Yeah.
My wife didn't like that joke either.
Uh.
Yeah, she also didn't know whether or not
she'd be a good mom,
but when the baby fell out,
(audience laughs)
her maternal instincts
kicked in, she's a great mom.
And I think my paternal
instincts kicked in, too.
I became very protective
and I immediately regretted
not knowing a martial art
because there are all those
ninjas out there, you know?
They're dangerous.
Like even, not just the asian ones.
Like, American ninjas
might be more dangerous
'cause of white privilege.
(exciting rock music)
- You did great.
You really did good.
- Thank you.
Yeah, your timing was excellent.
- I kinda blacked out.
- I got a little lightheaded
there for a moment.
- Yeah.
I'd probably do this again, I was thinking
about my performance in
relationship to the actual comedians
who were very professional,
they were really, really good.
So it made me realize
I had a long way to go,
but it's kind of inspired
actually, you know,
so who knows, maybe I would
do something like this again.
- I'm not gonna do it again.
I'm not gonna do stand-up.
I'm not gonna do it again,
you don't have to worry.
- So I just saw my dad perform
and I think he did a really good job.
I'm proud of you, you did a good job.
I love you.
(whooshing)
(creaking)
