• From eating out of the sewer to volunteering
to be tazered, the Planet Dolan crew re-enact
some of the best true stories from our subreddit
about the dumbest things we did for money.
I’m Doopie and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by Punruh091_Love_Doopy
SweetCommando
When SweetCommando was in the fourth grade
he started hanging out with some bad older
kids.
One time one of them offered SweetCommando
$100 to go running through the school, opening
every door and shouting “DILDO!”
They told SweetCommando a dildo was a type
of bread that Italian bakers would walk down
the street shouting about.
SweetCommando did the dare – but it only
made to five classrooms before he was caught.
He got two weeks of detention, but the worst
part was he didn’t even get paid!
Number 9 was submitted by Skeljay Danger Dolan
Dolan once had this crazy friend who his parents
forbid him from seeing.
One time they were hanging out together when
the crazy friend offered Dolan $100 if he
could shoot him in the kneecap with his BB
gun.
Dolan was desperate for money – and lacking
in common sense, so he said, “Sure!
That sounds perfectly reasonable!”
He passed out from the pain and when he woke
up he was in the emergency room!
His crazy friend’s mom gave him $1,000 – probably
to stop Dolan’s family from suing!
Number 8 was submitted by pdfanstar Emojie
On the first day of the new school year, Emojie’s
high school arranged free Chick-fil-A lunches
for all the students in the auditorium.
As they sat there listening to speeches, Emojie’s
friend came up with a funny dare.
She told Emojie she would pay him to climb
up on stage and do a sexy dance with the Chick-fil-A
cow mascot.
Emojie was a terrified freshman, but he actually
climbed up on stage and did it!
The whole school was laughing and cheering,
and lots of people filmed her.
Luckily Emojie didn’t get in any trouble,
and he was paid thirteen dollars – one dollar
from every person in her row.
People at school still talk about her sexy
cow dance to this day!
Number 7 was submitted by NotHyped Nixxiom
When Nixxiom was little his friends used to
tease him about being poor.
One day he and his friends were lining up
to buy candy from the ice cream van in their
street.
Nixxiom’s friends got a box of Malteasers
each, but Nixxiom couldn’t afford one.
When Nixxiom’s friend saw how sad Nixxiom
looked so decided to issue him a challenge.
He dropped a Malteaser in the drain and told
Nixxiom he could have a whole box to himself
if he picked it up and ate it.
Without thinking, Nixxiom picked up the dirty,
dusty, sewer-watery Malteaser and popped it
straight in his mouth!
His friends and the ice-cream man were so
impressed and disgusted that they bought Nixxiom
his own pack.
That night, Nixxiom’s parents found out
what he did and screamed at him.
He spent the whole night crying and trying
to throw the gross sewer candy up.
Number 6 was submitted by CampfireTlls Grgak
Grgak’s dad is kind of weird…
He loves buying new toys and gadgets, but
he’s not so good at using them responsibly!
One day he went and bought himself a brand
new tazer.
He was really excited to show Grgak, so when
Grgak walked in his dad shouted, “Look what
I got, son!
I’ll give you five dollars if you let me
taze you!”
Grgak was just a stupid kid at the time, so
he lifted his shirt and said, “FIVE DOLLARS!
THAT’S A LOT OF MONEY!”
The tazer was turned down to the weakest setting,
but it still really hurt!
Grgak enjoyed his five dollars, though!
His dad still brings this story up every time
Grgak brings a new friend over.
Number 5 was submitted by Better-Call-Paul
Gooby
Gooby is usually pretty sensible, but in fourth
grade the chance to earn twenty whole dollars
made her lose all common sense!
For twenty dollars, Gooby’s friend wanted
her to snort a thick line of sand.
Gooby figured this would be the easiest money
she ever made so she dropped to the floor
and snorted!
It was horrible!
The sand felt like tiny glass shards and got
stuck in Gooby’s nose.
Gooby spent the rest of the afternoon bent
over a sink, trying to flush it out!
She was still finding bits of sand in her
nose weeks later!
She got her twenty dollars, but it definitely
wasn’t worth all the pain and trauma!
Number 4 was submitted by chewtoy63 Zaraganba
When Zaraganba was in high school his friend
offered him twenty dollars to pretend to be
high in class.
In order to be more convincing, Zaraganba
rubbed some Vicks Vaporub into his eyes to
irritate them.
He then sat in the back row of English class
acting stoned out of his mind.
The teacher noticed Zaraganba’s bloodshot
eyes and strange behaviour and sent him straight
to the principal’s office.
He told the principal it was just a prank,
but it seems he’d done such a convincing
job acting stoned that the school was forced
to call his parents.
The things we do for twenty bucks…
Number 3 was submitted by Adamrvzoo Slapped
Ham
When Slapped Ham was a chubby young pig his
dad would take him on trips to the mall.
One day he and his dad were passing by a clothing
store when they saw a hot and muscular male
model standing outside trying to bring customers
in.
Slapped Ham’s dad turned to his son and
offered him sixty bucks to go up to the model,
whip off his shirt and yell, “THIS IS YOUR
COMPETITION!”
At the time Slapped Ham had more confidence
than he knew what to do with so he went right
up to the guy and did it!
He even did his special talent of moving his
rolls of belly fat up and down like a belly
dancer!
Slapped Ham’s sexy dance caused such a scene
that the mall security came over and gave
them a warning.
Slapped Ham was pretty embarrassed, but the
easy sixty dollars made all of those bad feelings
disappear!
Number 2 was submitted by Wolfieplays57 Pandora
One day Pandora and her friend were walking
to the track field.
On the way they passed by the INFAMOUS STAIN
which was said to have been there for over
five years.
Pandora’s friend dared Pandora to lick the
stain for five bucks and bragging rights!
Pandora wasn’t one to back away from a challenge
so she got down on her hands and knees and
put tongue to cement!
At first she felt fine, but when they started
running down the track Pandora’s stomach
gave up and she projectile vomited all over
her friend!
Talk about karma!
Number 1 – What’s the 
dumbest thing I’ve done for money?
