- There's a lot of new COVID training
going on within the OB-GYN department.
- This is new material.
(everybody talking at once)
(bright music)
- Yeah, we're in our eighth week.
It's been pretty nonstop.
People describe it as
drinking out of a fire hose.
So the first week hit
and it was all I could do
to stay on top of studying and
figure out what was going on.
But it started to sink
in and we've started
to develop a rhythm and routine, I think,
and every day I sort of realize I'm here,
I'm still here, I'm able to do this now,
and go on a bike ride, or go on a run,
or do what I still want to do.
So I'm figuring out progressively
how to build balance into the new me,
who is also a med student.
- So the first month has
been kind of an adjustment.
It's a lot of information,
a lot of content.
The best part has probably
been the classmates
and the M2s because
it's a pass/fail school
and there's no class rank at this stage.
There's no need to show
everyone how smart you are
or how relaxed you are.
Everyone's very honest about the fact
that, yeah, it's very hard
right now and that's okay.
- Coming into med
school, one of the things
I was most confident
about was how supportive
everyone here was going to be.
And I haven't been let down yet.
I mean the faculty here
are really amazing.
And I don't wanna sound like
I'm saying anything fake
but (chuckling) that's
just really how I feel,
so I don't know how to say it like.
- I am involved in quite a
few student organizations.
I participate in a lot of
Black Medical Association,
BMA, events.
I participate in HESP,
which is the Health
Equity Scholars Program.
I also am a part of Biorhythms
but we're learning this
really cool choreography
where we just break it
down and it's really cool.
Yes, I have time to do
stuff other than study
and it's great to have to work that in.
- For as long as I remember,
this has been the only focus I've had,
let's just get into medical school
and then life will figure itself out.
And now I'm here and now
it's almost like a rebirth.
It started and there was a
whole lot of work to do it,
but I did it, I'm here.
- When I was in high school,
I think I had thought about being a doctor
and thought it might be something for me
but it just didn't seem like a reality.
I think, where I came from,
doctors were equivalent to astronauts,
we didn't think it was possible.
And I talked to my advisor
after that first semester
about the possibility of it
and he was very honest with me.
My grades weren't quite ready yet
and he told me what I'd have to do.
And even thought it was really challenging
and what he told me I'd have
to do sounded really difficult,
it was the first time I ever was told
that it was possible in the first place.
- So, when I was applying,
being a non-traditional
applicant, being a film major,
I was really looking for schools
that weren't heavy on so much research.
I mean they could be
involved with research
but it was more so,
okay, let's see what other
things they're involved with.
Like having humanities
stuff or having innovation
because I was doing a
lot of innovation stuff
as an undergrad as well.
So I really looked for schools like that
and so Michigan was
almost the perfect blend
of all these different categories.
- I have really loved the community here.
I have been so excited by
what I found in the community,
both in terms of the collaboration
that happened among my peers.
Among the M1s and then also between M1s
and the upper classmen and
also with our faculty mentors
and the M-Home, that's been amazing.
That's been my highlight.
Yesterday, for example, we
went apple picking with M-Home,
and I got all these apples
and I can make a pie,
(laughs lightly) and
that's really exciting.
- Since I've came to medical school,
I've been developing an
interest in psychiatry,
and part of the reason for that
is sort of my philosophy background.
There's a nice kind of
melding that can happen
between philosophy and medicine, I think,
and psychiatry, I think
that's a really nice dovetail.
Being able to jump into
it, dig deeper a little bit
more than you can just through
your one clinical rotation
in psychiatry, for example.
- The factors that solidified my decision
to come to Michigan as
opposed to anywhere else,
was really just not only
is this medical school
incredible and have all
the resources that I need,
but everything around that.
So all the things that make me me
and all the things that allow me
to have the balance
that I need in my life.
Nature, so there's the arb and the river
and people do river sports.
And it's all incredible,
as well as just the general
Ann Arbor community, the
other graduate schools.
I mean it really seemed
to have everything.
- I knew that not living in the
white coat district or area,
or not living amongst a lot
of other med school people
would mean that I'd have a
different social situation.
But I do kind of enjoy that
separation and that balance.
When I'm home, that's my space.
So it's been kind of nice,
seeing something different
on my bus ride home.
- One of the things that
I liked about Michigan
was the presence of a
lot of mature students.
A lot of non-traditional
students and just mature students
that may have come straight through.
I was really impressed with
the classmates that I met.
And I'm still impressed, after two months
of spending every day with them.
There are a lot with
various life experiences,
others with families, like
me, there are a couple.
I don't think I hold the
record, I've got three kids.
I met an M2, second year
student, that's got four kids.
Sometimes hang out together.
Had several classmates over
to my house for dinner before.
It's fun.
- I am thinking about having
kids in medical school.
My wife and I have been
talking about it for a while.
And it's scary.
And everybody says there's no right time,
which there is no right
time, but medical school
(laughs lightly) really doesn't
feel like the right time.
There have already been
a lot of resources.
I just say that in passing sometimes
and people will really
latch onto it and say,
"Oh, I know this person
who had this experience.
"You should talk to them."
And so I've already talked
to some people about it
and it's nice to know
that there are resources,
and that people do it and
they are happy with it.
And it's hard but having a baby's hard
when you're not a medical student,
so I'm not really scared about that.
- Every M1, you come in having no idea.
There's very few people who actually
do know what they wanna do.
So right now it's kinda
just feeling out different
specialties and seeing
what those are really like.
And the interest groups here
have been really helpful,
providing shadowing opportunities,
possible research mentors
and stuff like that.
- It's hard.
Everything sounds really
exciting at this point.
Even a field like radiology,
which to me didn't sound interesting.
Yesterday we had Radiology Day,
where we went from room to room,
going through different sessions
of how to work with each
technology and how to read it.
And something that sounded
so boring theoretically
was so interesting when you saw it live
and you saw people really
excited about it teaching you.
I do have a tendency to spend more time
in the pediatric setting,
and that's not something I knew on my own.
It took going to an interview
to work at an Alzheimer's and dementia lab
and the P.I. on the project
asked me if I liked old people.
And I was really confused
by that question.
I was like, "Why do you
ask if I like old people?"
And he's like, "Well,
everything you've ever done
"in your life involves Peds."
So he was just wondering.
And I didn't even know that I really
liked pediatrics that much but it's true,
everything I've ever done involves kids
and even some of the activities
that I picked to do here
are involving high school
seniors and other kids.
So I might end up in pediatrics,
but who knows (chuckles).
(bright music)
- It's weird, the days are
long, the weeks are fast.
I don't know what the expression is
but that's what it feels like.
It's crazy how much more I know now,
so I'd say I feel more mature
in regards to the clinical
field than I did before.
You know, you come into medical school
with a lot of big dreams and
things you wanna accomplish,
and then you quickly realize
that you can't do a lot of those
until you're a doctor that
actually knows the material
and knows how to work with patients,
knows how to be a clinician,
and so it's a reminder that again
you're starting at the bottom
and you really have to put in
time to be good at your trade
before you can accomplish certain things.
It really makes you respect what you see
when you're in the hospital,
how most clinicians
will be so knowledgeable
about certain things,
about whether it's the basic
of science of something,
whether it's how to talk to people
or how to handle certain situations.
And you might get a
little nervous thinking
how would I handle that
situation myself? I couldn't.
And then you realize
that you're on this path
to get you to that point.
And so it's a little overwhelming at first
but you gain confidence
when you see others
doing the act, I guess.
- Honestly, doctoring has
been a really good part
of the curriculum that I did
not really know what was going,
everyone just calls it doctoring.
I don't know what that is,
like Doctoring 101 or whatever.
But that's been something
that has really tied together
almost all the aspects of the curriculum.
And, for me, that's something
that I just really look
forward to every single week.
- It flew by but it also feels like
I've been in school for
like four years (laughs),
so it's always that balance.
I can't believe we've learned
as much as we've learned.
Actually, just yesterday,
I got to practice
doing a complete physical
exam on a patient.
So over the year in our doctoring course,
we've learned different
components of a physical exam.
So the head and neck exam,
or the lung exam, or the cardio exam.
And yesterday I got to do it
all at once, in one sitting,
which was really overwhelming
'cause it's a lot of stuff.
But as I was studying, I
was studying with a friend
and we were just realizing how much
we've actually learned
throughout this year.
So it's cool to see that but
it's also a little exhausting
to think about how much time it's been.
I'm definitely ready for summer.
- I mean something that I'm nervous about,
is I realize that there's
a lot of different
personalities in medicine
and it's just finding ways
to work with different types of people.
I've heard that different fields
have very different personalities.
And so it's like figuring
out how I can mesh
with another person
and work well with them
and sometimes that can
be kind of intimidating,
especially when we're being evaluated.
So I'm a little nervous
about getting along
with every attending,
or resident, or nurse,
or whoever else I'm working with that day.
- I'm excited for my M2 year
because we get to go onto
the wards in November.
So it's like we basically
have a month maybe of lectures left
and then we get to go onto rotations
in the wards in our different specialties,
so like Cardiology,
Neurology, things like that.
And so I'm excited because we finally
get to have interactions with patients.
And sometimes when you're just
slaving over lecture slides,
there are like 190 slides on the thyroid,
you're just like, "I can't
look at another thyroid.
"I don't even want to
hear the word thyroid."
But it's like now you get to see a patient
who's actually dealing with that
and you get to give feedback
that can help determine their care.
And so I'm really excited
for the human aspect
of medicine to come out.
- So having days like
this where we're out here
just kind of competing at sports,
and pie eating, and cake decorating,
I think it's really big,
especially within our own classes.
Especially for my class,
we're about to transition to clinics
where we're competing with each other
for all the grades and the
scores and evaluations,
and it's nice to have
this sense of community
with ourselves, that it's
not so cut-throat out there,
that we're out there, we help each other,
and we can work on our team work.
Oh, it's gonna be really
competitive today.
I mean, luckily the Emergency Department
is not too far away, 'cause
I'm gonna go all out,
I'm not gonna hold anything back.
I think we all have pretty
good health insurance,
and we have some good
connections at the hospital,
and so, if we need it,
they'll be there for us.
- I cannot believe that I'm a second year
medical student now.
The first year was such a whirlwind,
making new friends and going through
all of the different sequences.
And after the summer, it
feels really great to be back.
I was a little nervous
but we have a wonderful
transition of something
called Chief Concern,
where we go through diagnoses
and all work together as a group
to think about different symptoms.
So just being with my classmates
and all of us coming back together
and doing the fun part of medicine,
while also being reintroduced to Ann Arbor
and medical school is really great.
And I just feel so excited
for the rest of this year.
(bright music)
- Yeah, so there's been a couple times,
especially now in the in-patient
cardiology clinic at the hospital,
just yesterday we were
carrying the code pager.
And so when that rings,
no matter where it is
in the hospital, you
have to get up and run.
And so yesterday we
actually had the code go off
and we had to run over
to the cancer center
and, fortunately, that
one was just someone
hit the button on accident (chuckles).
So I got a practice run in.
I mean it was scary.
I think my heart got racing because I knew
we were on the way to go help someone
who could be in a very
dangerous situation.
And so, planning ahead, as I'm running
down the hallways down
through the hospital,
what are we gonna do when we get there?
What state is the patient gonna be?
What can I do to help in that situation?
It's something really gets you thinking
more than just what's
gonna be on my next test.
- Thus far, M2 year is exactly
what I expected it to be.
It's challenging, it's rewarding.
You feel both valued,
with also the recognition
that you're very much low
man on the totem pole.
This is about the patient.
This is about your
learning in the background,
but ultimately it's about the patient.
And so that experience
and that relationship
has to come first and you kind
of have to take a back seat,
which has been a great way
to kind of see that side of medicine.
It's been fantastic
interacting with patients
and really seeing how
building patient rapport,
sometimes in a very short
amount of time, can pay off.
And seeing how you can grow
as a person and as a provider.
Everyone is a learner at
some point in their lives
and at some point in this
job, and at all levels.
And so I think there's a real appreciation
for the fact that we're
allowed a lot of autonomy,
but, at the end of the day,
the patient is well cared for
by so many people on the team
that our mistakes are never
going to harm a patient.
They're more just thought mistakes
that will help us be better
physicians in the future.
- Yeah, so my first rotation was surgery,
second rotation was family medicine.
Those are about as
different as you can get
in terms of rotations (laughs lightly).
And, specifically, on surgery I spent
the last three weeks
on transplant surgery,
and that was kind funny
'cause, to be honest,
I didn't request transplant
surgery (chuckles).
I haven't thought I really
want to be a surgeon,
and so I requested
minimally invasive surgery,
because I got nauseous a few
times in Anatomy last year
and I just didn't know how
I would handle surgery.
Instead of minimally invasive,
I kind of got maximally
invasive transplant
and I absolutely loved it.
Not to the point where
I think I can imagine
being a transplant surgeon,
but to the point that I can definitely
imagine being part of transplant care,
potentially on the medicine side.
I can't imagine another
situation where I would
be so close to life and
death at the same time.
And it's pretty crazy world where,
apart from some kidney transplants
that are live donations,
in general in transplant,
somebody needs to die
in order for somebody else to live.
And I think I had kind
of thought about that
abstractly before, in
terms of checking yes
on my driver's license,
but I hadn't thought about
what it means to be in
the presence of somebody
who is benefiting so deeply from the fact
that somebody else died before their time.
And it was a pretty wild
experience and very meaningful.
And then coming from there
to outpatient medicine,
it was quite the transition,
because the way it works
at family medicine here,
is we see a lot of patients.
We see a patient every 20 minutes all day,
and as opposed to transplant, which is
you're going so deep into
one aspect of healthcare,
family medicine you're very broad
and you have to be
thinking about all sorts
of differential diagnoses for
every patient that comes in
and you have to be ready for
anything to walk in your door,
which is another exciting
kind of intellectual exercise.
And it's also been
super fun to get to know
patients from all walks of life,
from the parents of a two-month
old baby with their baby
to we had a 91-year-old woman.
My favorite thing lately
has been I've been asking,
I don't know if I should,
but I've been asking patients
who are really healthy who come in,
'cause one thing about family medicine,
patients come in for their
health maintenance exams,
which means they're generally,
when they're in good
health, they'll come in,
get their immunizations
and screenings, et cetera.
And for those patients that
are in really good health
and don't have any problems,
I've taken to asking
them, "What's your secret?
"Why are you in such good health?"
'Cause I wanna learn, and
I've gotten such good answers.
Everything from Zumba to eucalyptus oil
mixed with garlic, and honey,
and cayenne, and lemon,
taken two tablespoons daily, to God.
So it's been pretty amazing to get to know
such a wide range of people.
- So this is a very ridiculous thing
that people tell you
that actually is true.
When you're starting M2 year,
every rotation and every
specialty has a personality.
And you'll find your people.
And I was like, "That's ridiculous."
There aren't people that
all go to one specialty.
But then it was orientation, day one,
I wasn't even on the floor,
day one of orientation
at my OB-GYN session,
and a couple of friends texted me
and they're like, "This is
you. You're gonna do this."
And I was like, yeah, this is what people
have been talking about,
this is it, this is my thing
It's an interesting question,
did you have an ah-ha moment,
like I'm destined to be a doctor?
Because that moment for
me wasn't even on OB,
it was on transplant surgery
and I was watching a liver transplant,
and it truly, save my wedding day,
it was the most magical
thing I've ever seen.
I mean there are no words
to describe what it is
and I started, I might cry now,
I started crying in the
middle of the surgery,
and I was like, "Oh my
God, I have to do this.
"This is incredible."
And then got the reality check
of how hard it is to be
a transplant surgeon.
But I think just that
moment of pure passion
for taking care of others
and really appreciating
the magic of medicine,
I was like, "Okay, I can do this.
"This is hard but it feels good
"and I feel like I can do this."
And I see patients that I saw in clinic
out in the community and I'm like,
"I treated that kid for his
acne and his face looks great."
And it's just (chuckles), it's crazy.
So there are little snippets of time
where your get a glimpse of what it's like
to actually be a doctor and you're like,
"Wow, this is gonna be awesome."
And it doesn't happen often
and you have to remind yourself
of these moments when
you're having a hard time,
thinking, "Oh gosh, I
still have two more years."
But it's really incredible to feel like
you've made a difference
and to think about
that's only in one year
of doing clerkships
I've touched these people's lives,
imagine what I can do in a lifetime.
So, yeah.
(piano music)
- My classmates asked me about
how do you handle having a family?
Especially three kids, almost four kids
and juggle that with medical school.
And I told one of my classmates last week
that I think it's harder for them,
because when they go home,
they don't have someone
that they're accountable to.
They're just kind of independent,
they can take a break, watch
TV or something like that.
When I get home, I've got
time for my family set aside.
(gentle music)
My wife is pretty good
about keeping me on task to do studying,
'cause it's a lot of responsibility.
But I like that, 'cause I don't feel
like I waste too much time.
I've got great time.
When I'm having fun with my family,
I don't feel like it's wasted time at all,
and then when I'm studying I've got
good motivation to do that.
- Before this he had a super busy job,
so we were used to a
really busy lifestyle,
so it wasn't a huge
change as far as busyness.
It's been kind of an
adjustment for the kids
of dad being at school instead of at work,
but we kind of just treat it like work.
He gets up in the morning
and studies all day
and comes home at night,
just like he would at work.
So I don't know, I guess my advice
is that it's doable and go for it.
- That's it.
- He got three hands.
- Three hands?
- Yeah.
- Set, hike, (grunts)
Two more? What do I have to get to?
- The bed.
- No, past here, past here.
- That's your touchdown, or past here.
- Do I have to get to there?
Hike (laughs).
Yeah, so my wife is expecting a baby
in about two weeks, two-and-a-half weeks.
Right now I've got a study period.
I've set up two weeks of
vacation for step two.
I'm trying to get step two
done before the baby comes,
(laughs) so I'm kind of in study mode.
But, after that, luckily
it's almost Christmas time,
so there's a built in break for baby time.
If not though, if that break wasn't there,
we get six weeks of flexible vacation time
during the branches that we can schedule.
I could of easily taken two or four weeks
but luckily I have Christmas
and New Year holiday built in.
Studying with my children around,
one trick is noise canceling
headphones (chuckles)
and then the other is my kids actually
really like when I do practice questions.
They'll sit up there, I mean the youngest
can't even read what I'm doing,
but they just like to see
if I got it right or wrong.
So when it pops up if I
got it right or wrong,
they're like, "Oh dad, you did great."
Or they'll say, "Dad,
you missed it again?"
And they kinda get a kick out of that.
Press it, you got it.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
(laughs lightly)
- All right, good job.
(gentle music)
- I think it's a national conversation.
It's an ongoing conversation about
the mental health of med students,
the prevalence of depression and anxiety
that exist in medical schools.
And I think Michigan
is wrestling with this,
just like every school is.
I think there's a ton of
initiatives implemented
like yoga and therapy
dogs and the M-Home system
that are helping and creating
a supportive culture.
I still think there's
a lot below the surface
that nobody has figured
out how to do with.
And I think a lot of it gets at the fact
that my generation as medical students
and as doctors, we look for
a different work/life balance
and work/life integration to potentially
the generation before us and
we want things to change.
So I think the more we can think about
the ideal that we wanna
achieve in our careers,
and then not be afraid to articulate
very different visions
for what medical school
and what an academic medical
institution looks like,
the better it will be.
It's definitely a challenge,
but moments like the branches
where you can slow down
and kind of do your own
thing and get some space
and think about these
things are super important.
Well I run, and bike, and swim a lot.
I try to spend as much time
outside of the hospital,
in the sun, as I can.
I spend a lot of time in
town, in coffee shops,
and meeting up with friends.
I cook, have always been a reader,
and a letter writer, and got into routines
during clinical year where sometimes
in the morning all I would do
was read a section of "The New Yorker"
and kind of clear my head for the day.
Journaling has always helped me.
But I think the most important
element is the outside time
and being able to step out the hospital
and be in the arboretum
right away is huge for me.
- What are the branches?
I think that's one of the defining terms,
at least of my class, since we're being
one of the first ones who
are doing the whole thing.
So now being a couple months into it,
almost halfway through it,
I've gained a much better understanding
of, I would say, kind of the uniqueness
of the customizability of the year.
You can make it really your own.
I know for some of my classmates
it's been, for example,
focused on research.
For me it's been a focus on figuring out
what I want to do with
the rest of my life,
so career exploration, looking at things
such as some surgical
sub-specialties, internal medicine.
I was incredibly undecided.
Through the branches, I started in these
very technical specialties and ended up
thinking of critical care and medicine,
that's kind of what I decided
I wanted to do with my career.
So really having that flexibility and time
to really immerse myself
in different careers
at a level that was impossible in the past
was very unique for me and necessary
for me to make a decision.
(gentle music)
- I mean, mainly my time is
spent now on "The Smoker".
So "The smoker" is two to three hour
full length musical production
in which we roast the faculty
and kind of life in medicine
or as a medical student.
So this year I'll be one of
the directors of the show.
The amount of talent that we have here,
it just doesn't make sense to me.
There are so many people
that I look at them
and I'm like, "Why are
you going into medicine?
"You could easily be a musician
"and you would be so successful.
"What are you doing here?"
And I mean I get it,
medicine is very fulfilling
but it's just crazy how many
talented people we have.
And the fact that we
can put on a full length
musical every year and it
always has a very solid
cast of very solid
singers, very solid actors,
you wouldn't think that this
is a med school musical.
You would think it's a college musical
or a place where you have thousands
of people to select
actors and singers from.
No, we only have 160 per class,
but somehow we can have a cast
of over a hundred people with all these
really strong dancers,
and singers, and actors.
It's insane.
I'm continuously baffled by it
but I'm very grateful,
'cause it makes my job
as a director a lot easier, so (chuckles).
♪ This scene won't play ♪
♪ I won't say I'm in love ♪
♪ Your way off base, I won't say it ♪
♪ Get off my case, I won't say it ♪
- You know, there are
times when I look back
and I can't believe that I've been here
for over three years.
I feel like just yesterday
I started M1 year.
But then when I think about
all the things that I've done,
like finishing all my preclinical stuff,
doing all the core clerkships, taking step one,
choosing what I'm applying into,
all that kind of stuff,
applying for residency,
it's overwhelming that I've
done that all in three years,
so I think it's still
kind of the same feeling
of time is flying but
also a lot is happening.
So I guess it's kinda
still the same (chuckles).
I think the thing that you
don't see in these interviews,
and the thing that's hard to
express in a 20 minute session,
is just how hard it really is
and how much it really
does take out of you.
And that's not necessarily a bad thing.
It's very easy for me to talk to you
about all of the things
I've done in med school
and be excited about them because I am.
I'm very glad that I did this.
I'm glad I don't have to do it again
but I would if I had to
and I'm so excited for residency.
But med school is long and very difficult.
And studying for step one,
those were the worst
two months of my life,
hands down worst two months of my life.
As excited as you are
when you start med school,
you know it's gonna be a lot of work
but you don't know how much
it's gonna take out of you.
And you see all these
people on the other side
and you're like, "Oh, they're fine.
"It was totally fine for them.
"They're super happy, it wasn't that hard.
"Why is it so hard for me?"
But it is rough for everyone.
And it's worth it but it
does take a lot out of you.
So, if you are struggling in med school,
you are by far in the majority
and you are definitely not alone.
And I think that that's
something that is hard to feel
because we feel like we
can't share that part of it
in this type of setting or
even in friendly conversation,
it just doesn't come up because
it's not fun to talk about
and it's not easy to talk
about but it's very, very real.
- Here's Livia, I got
her a Michigan shirt.
On Second Look, a tank
top, we have matching ones.
She likes, oh and here's mine, here.
In every season that's upon
us and we've perfectly timed,
I have a baby on the way,
with a due date on the 29th,
and I have an interview
out of town on the 28th.
But my mother-in-law's
coming to stay with us
for seven weeks, so my
wife will have someone here
if I happen to miss that.
Yeah, so I had one interview already
and I won't say where but I
was definitely nervous before.
But that one's out of the way
and I realize for the most part
they'll just ask you
about what you've done
and I'm very confident talking about
the projects that I've done
and so I'm definitely more relaxed.
And I have a good amount
of interviews coming in,
but, yeah, it's nerve racking,
especially with the
process in ophthalmology
and a few others, they'll
send out more invites
than they have spots
and so you have to have
your phone next to you at all times,
so you respond within
minutes to get a spot.
Actually, I had a program,
and I don't mind sharing this,
they sent me an invite two days ago
and then today they emailed me saying
it was a technical error
that they sent the invite,
which I've never heard of before,
but (laughs) I don't know.
I don't know if I was that interested
in that program to begin with but.
So that's kind of the process.
You just, you and your friends
kind of figuring out where you all are
and trying to gauge if you're
behind or if you're on track.
And then with most,
I don't know if anyone else has said this,
but there's kind of a
magic number of interviews
and, if you hit that number,
your chances of matching are pretty good.
So, yeah, just a waiting
game and we'll see.
(bright music)
When I started med school,
I told everyone I will be
a dad before I graduate,
like that was my goal.
I'm just excited.
I mean med school takes
away so much from you.
I mean, it really beats you down
for extended periods of time
and you start to doubt
your own value as a person
because you're constantly,
you're doubting your intelligence,
you're doubting your communication skills,
you're doubting your wellness,
your ability to balance life.
And, having a boy, I mean no
one can take that away from me.
I'm gonna be a parent
and it just really puts
things into perspective.
No matter what happens,
I'll be a dad (chuckles)
and a husband and everything else
is kinda secondary to that.
(laughs)
- Med school.
- Ice cream, Jacob loves ice cream.
No matter how full he is (laughs),
he could always want ice cream.
- Normally in the final
months of med school,
in the next couple weeks,
all my classmates would be
fighting about their match
and I was gonna apply
to the match this year,
but I'm actually taking a year off
and I'm gonna do some film work,
and so that's what I'll be doing
in the next year or two,
depending on how it goes.
And so I'm looking forward to that,
'cause it's combining my passion of film,
which I was an undergrad,
but also I'm taking a medical context,
where I wrote a whole
sitcom about med school,
so we'll see where that goes.
There was this film job opportunity
that was learning a little
bit more of the business side,
because I've known a little
bit more of the creative side,
and so that's gonna be between here,
New York and then also L.A.
And so I'll be working
with different people
in the movie industry
and different companies
to see how they create projects
and doing that kind of stuff,
and then hopefully, eventually,
after I learn about that,
then I can go on to create my own
or do things in that realm.
We all know that we're
living in this great time
because we're all together,
we're all really free,
as we're trying to hang
out or maximize our time
but, at the same time,
knowing that it's coming
to an end in then next couple months,
so that's what's happening right now.
- I'm feeling nervous about Match Day.
It's far more anxiety provoking
than I thought it would be.
And I think last year I saw M4s
feeling a lot of anxiety
throughout the year,
and I thought that they
were overreacting (laughs),
it's just another job (laughs lightly).
I've applied to jobs before,
but it feels not like another job,
it feels much more stressful.
You at least have the illusion
that you don't have any control,
and in the past when
I've applied to anything,
graduate programs, or medical schools,
and jobs, and things like that,
you have this whole menu of options
that you can then choose from,
and here a computer chooses for you,
which I don't like the lack of control.
- So I'm finishing up some
of the required rotations.
Right now I'm on the
emergency medicine rotation,
so I'm actually going in
in a half hour for a shift.
And that's been really great.
It's been nice to have it towards the end,
because emergency med, it's
a primary care specialty
and you see a wide variety of things,
and also you have to be very efficient,
sort of triaging and evaluating patients.
So it's a good refresher on a breadth
of medical topics and
it's just good experience
to kind of hit the
ground running, I think,
right before I go into residency.
And then, since there's so much time,
there's also time to
actually do some things
that you sort of had to, I
think, put on the back burner
while you're doing clinical rotations
and you get to kind of reclaim
some of those parts of
you that made you whole.
And so for me, that's a lot travel
and using the foreign languages
that I've gotten rusty
but are still there,
and just being able to
have some adventures
and just have some fun.
- Well, I hope to be an academic surgeon
but, honestly, what interests me most
is communication within medicine.
And that's communication between patients
and providers but also between providers
and the culture of medical
workplaces really interests me,
particularly in a context like surgery.
And so I hope actually
to dedicate some part
of my career to kind of
optimizing that environment,
both for learners and for professionals.
I mean, I think the surgery department,
which I've gotten to know really well
during my research time here,
is just a really phenomenal example
of a really positive culture
that is pushing itself to be better.
And I think they set a standard
that other surgical departments
around the country could follow.
And if I don't end up
going to residency here,
I would love to take some of the lessons
I've learned from the leaders
and my mentors to other places.
- I have finished my
core clinical rotations.
I have taken all of my board exams
that you need to take
while you're in med school.
I have explored different careers,
both pediatrics and family medicine,
and after doing another
family medicine rotation
near the end, before I started my MPH,
so my Master's in Public Health,
I decided to go into family medicine.
And so right now I'm getting my MPH
in Health Management Policy,
and then I'm learning about how to work
with other types of professionals
that are involved in healthcare.
So a lot of these will
be executive members
at different hospitals
or different clinics,
some of these might be nutritionists,
some of these might be
environmental scientists,
things like that.
And we're learning how to
approach different problems.
It feels...
I'm really happy I took this year off,
because I've gotten a lot of time
to step away from medicine
and reevaluate what's important to me
when it comes to being a physician
and really think about my career choice,
so I had the time to do that.
I'm going to be at Match Day,
so I still get to celebrate
with the people who I came in with.
So I don't necessarily feel to jaded
about not going through Match with them,
because I know I'll be
matching the following year.
But I'm really happy for
them and excited (laughs).
- So my son, Daniel, it's a family name,
he was born right before Christmas.
So he was born on the 21st.
Daniel was born here at Michigan Medicine.
One of my classmates in my doctoring group
was actually on OB during that time,
and wasn't at the delivery but came around
while he was still in
the little incubator cart
and said hello, that was
kind of a fun experience.
So I've had a bunch of electives,
I did an away rotation
down in San Antonio, Texas
for ophthalmology and that's
actually where I matched.
So I'm very excited about that.
It starts pretty early,
so I'll start residency
the first week of June.
So the military match is earlier
than even ophthalmology and
urology, which are in January.
The military match is in mid-December,
so I've known where we're going
for a couple of months now,
while my classmates still have to wait
til mid-March to find
out where they're going.
- But med school's really hard partially
because life happens to you
when you're in med school.
So the process of studying to
be a doctor is challenging,
where you have to learn
everything about the human body,
which is a lot of things,
and that itself is overwhelming.
But then, on top of that,
learning to become self-sufficient
and a self-starter,
and how to work in very large
multidisciplinary teams,
and supporting your friends
who may be going through hard times,
and then going through
hard times yourself,
all at the same time in
this pressure cooker,
where you feel like everything that I do
matters a lot and everything that I do
is gonna affect what
career potential I have.
I came into med school married
and in the course of the two years
between clinical year and third year,
my wife and I decided to get divorced,
and that is sort of taking the foundation
that you have built your life
on and then crumbling that,
and telling you to, "Okay
but keep functioning,
"and keep taking care of other people,
"and study for your board
exams and your shelf exams,
"and also apply to
residency, and do interviews,
"and have lots of people
ask you about your scores
"and why they aren't
high as they could be."
I think I will be a better physician
because of all of the life
that happened during med school
but also because of the people
who I crossed paths with while I was here,
and now we kind of get to walk the rest
of this physician journey together
with so many formative
experiences together.
There's nothing like
it and there's nothing
I could say that would
ever prepare somebody
to walk through four years
of med school but it's hard.
Worth it, I think, but
a challenge for sure.
- [Governor Whitmer] Today
I'm issuing a stay home,
stay safe executive order
for all Michiganders
and it goes into effect
just after midnight tonight.
We are doing this because
it is absolutely necessary
to protect the health of our people.
The goal here is simple,
stay home, stay safe, save lives.
- I think it's been really hard
for my classmates and I to navigate
the different emotions that
have come up around this.
I think a lot of us are
feeling on the one hand
pretty disappointed that this time,
which is basically the end of med school,
between the end of med school
and the beginning of residency
is generally a time of celebration,
relaxation, recreation.
And then, on the other hand, we also,
of course, recognize the
gravity of the situation
and that our inability to do those things,
it just pales in comparison
of what's going on,
the urgency, the suffering that
people are having to endure.
So I've had a little bit of a mundane
last four weeks, being socially isolated,
but it's kind of I think
what I needed for myself
and I've been kind of
guarding this time for that.
I'd say most of all it's been to be able
to kind of take care of myself
after four years of very hard work
and four more years of
even harder work, I think.
(gasps)
- It's here, oh my God.
- All right, I'm gonna
start recording everything,
so don't do something you
don't want anybody to see.
- [Robotic Voice] Recording has started.
- I haven't looked at it yet, I'm scared.
- Yeah, she just got the
email, two minutes early.
(laughs)
They made us eat our words.
- [Man] Go for it.
- [Woman] Go for it, Nadine.
- Oh my God, I'm going
to Michigan (squeals).
- Ahh (laughs).
- [Woman] Congratulations.
- I was one of those
people before Match Day
who was posting, asking for more tickets
because we loving refer to my
husband's family as the herd,
'cause they travel in herds.
We had a lot of people
from his family coming.
My mom was coming from abroad.
My sister was coming.
Just having all these people around us.
And of course when the news came
that it was no longer a
good idea to have Match Day
in person for public health
reasons, everything changed.
So you can get a sense in my living room,
so on this couch, this
is where it all happened.
(chuckles) We kind of
rearranged all of our furniture,
so we could put our monitor
up on a table in front of us
and a laptop and an iPad,
and we just Zoomed and BlueJeansed in
as many people as we could,
more people than were even
originally going to come,
and had the Go Blue Match
website up and in the background,
so we could see all of my classmates
posting their match results,
picture of them celebrating
with loved ones.
So it was really wonderful and, you know,
part of it was kind of nice.
I got to roll out of
bed, casually get ready,
and just kind of be in
the comfort of home.
So I think that element
of not being in public
was honestly kind of calming
but still really celebratory.
So very different but still felt
hugged by all the community.
- You know, at the end of the day,
I matched an incredible program.
I succeeded, I'm going to become a doctor
and I'm gonna be able to do
what I've wanted to do all my life.
And, you know, that part hasn't changed.
I'm very grateful that my family,
the people that I love that
are close to me are doing well,
given everything that's
going on at the planet
and so just putting those things in mind,
I'm still very optimistic
about what's in the future.
For one part I kind of mourned already
the fact that I won't
have that big celebration,
having my family here,
but the important thing is
I'm gonna graduate regardless,
I'm gonna be a doctor,
gonna do what I want to do,
and that my family and the people I love
are doing well in this crisis.
And just seeing everything
that's going on,
I can't think of anything else
that I would ask for in this time.
- For us, it's been a lot more low key
since they canceled all the
medical student rotations.
So really just been hanging out at home,
trying to study a little
bit for residency,
that's looming ever so closely.
And then just taking
this unprecedented time
to actually spend some time
with my wife and daughter.
So it's kind of almost
feel a little guilty,
in the sense that I get this opportunity
to spend so much quality
time with my daughter
and build that bond.
But definitely taking advantage of that,
something that's very special.
- The last two weeks were
supposed to be family planning,
which was an elective that
I had been excited about
from really almost the
beginning of medical school.
And especially as I decided I was gonna
do emergency medicine,
I won't really get the time in the future
to place IUDs and Nexplanons and have that
be a part of my experience as a physician.
And I just thought it was a nice way
I wanted to end my med school career
of getting exposure to that.
On the personal side, my
husband is a hospice nurse.
He continues to go out and see patients,
so we've kind of shifted
to supporting him as best as possible.
And then when schools closed,
we had my stepson for a month.
So really kind of taking on the role
of homeschooling and
figuring all that out.
And then, in the midst of
learning where I matched,
really kind of planning
for the future now.
Really looking at online, virtually,
trying to find housing
and do all those logistics
that come with the next step.
- So Match Day is a Friday, always,
and that is the date
that's on everybody's radar
for a really long time
leading up to Match Day.
And even as an M2 and M3,
you know what Match Day is
and you watch the videos.
So that's so highly publicized
that that's what everybody thinks about.
But for many of us, myself included,
I think that I've been pretty open
throughout this whole process
that med school's been a challenge for me,
and I was one of the
people that had to meet
with the dean to talk about
what happens if you don't match.
And so the Monday of Match Week,
everybody gets an email that says either
congratulations you have matched,
or you have been placed
in the SOAP process,
which is the process that you
go through if you don't match.
And I wasn't sure that I was gonna match.
So, for me, it wasn't Friday of Match Week
that I had my sights
set on, it was Monday.
It was survive Monday, match on Monday,
and then everything else
is less of a big deal.
But for me that was the big day.
And I had so much anxiety
leading up to Monday,
and then I opened my email that said
congratulations, you have matched.
And Apoorv was sitting
next to me on the couch
and we read it and, at the same time,
sank down to the floor and were sobbing.
Because that was the moment
where I realized I've done it.
I did it, I'm going to be a doctor,
and in OB-GYN, which
is what I wanted to do
and I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it.
So Monday was huge, huge
deal, and then after that,
it was like whatever
Friday says, Friday says,
but I did it and wherever I end up,
I'm gonna be in OB-GYN,
doing what I wanna do,
and it doesn't matter where I
do it, 'cause I get to do it.
- Yeah, when I look back at myself
eight years ago as a freshman undergrad,
I don't think I could
imagine where I'm at today.
I'm so excited and so fortunate
to have the experience that I've had
and to have matched at one of the best
residencies in the world, in my opinion,
in orthopedic surgery, in
one of the most competitive
residency specialties there is.
I've been really fortunate to come
to the University of Michigan,
where my training has prepared me in a way
that helped me be competitive.
I really found that the curriculum we had
where I was able to get three months
of orthopedic surgery experience
here at Michigan before I
went off on my away rotations,
that really helped me excel and I think
that's really what helped
me match so successfully.
- To be honest, I'm feeling
pretty mixed emotions right now.
I'm super excited to start residency
and I can't wait to meet my co-residents
and I can't wait to have
my own patient panel,
in my outpatient pediatric clinic.
I also am feeling kind
of nervous and unsettled.
It's a very strange time
to be becoming a doctor
and it's strange to have that happen
without the normal group
celebration transitions,
like with Match Day and graduation.
And then kind of having the
pandemic layered on top of that,
not knowing what it's going to be like
at our hospitals in terms of
the personal protective
equipment and everything.
Our institution right
now is very well set up,
so I think from a safety
perspective I'm feeling okay,
but it's definitely a
strange time (laughs lightly)
to be graduating medical school.
- One big lesson that I really hope
I really reflect on a
lot during residency,
is a lot of it's out of your control
and all you can do is move forward.
But I remember there's
a really dark, dark time
and I had to rely on Livia and my family
and friends to kind of
get me through that.
But, looking back, it all
seems kind of trivial,
like I should have just
been relaxed the whole time.
Easier to say looking back but, yeah,
just chill out, enjoy the
ride, let life come to you.
- Yeah, so the M-Response
Corps was really borne
out of this intense desire
that medical students have
from their first year, second year,
third year, to their fourth year,
to just want to get back into
it and to help their teams,
to help the hospital, to
help their community members.
We really just helped facilitate students
with their volunteer
opportunities in the community.
We hear about the needs
in the hospital system
and then we try to see is
this a need that's appropriate
for medical student volunteers to fill,
and so we kind of coordinate
that, facilitate it,
we vet every opportunity
to make sure it's safe.
It's been really powerful
to step out of my role
as a medical student, on student council,
all of the groups that I'm involved in,
and just step out of that and transition
into what is it gonna
be like as a resident?
What is it gonna be like as somebody
who works for Michigan Medicine?
And I feel like M-Response Corps
is just the perfect vehicle for my energy
in all of the ways that I feel,
'cause it feels like a real transition,
medical students helping in the hospital.
So I'm grateful to be a part of that,
and just completely in awe
of all of the students
that are volunteering
their time, their
efforts, their resources,
and also the students who know
that because of who they're living with
or because of their own
personal circumstances,
it's not safe for them to volunteer,
and so grateful for them as well.
Everybody is playing their part.
- Having this time of social distancing
and not being able to see each other,
I think has really highlighted to me
how important my class was
going through all of this.
And I mean I was close to
a lot of people in my class
and it was always a meaningful
group of people to me,
but I think now that with the reality
of people are moving in
the next couple weeks
and we can't go grab a beer and hang out,
and reminisce about med school,
and see each other before this all ends.
I think it's even more clear
to me how much med school is,
although there are lot
of individual challenges,
and individual sacrifices,
and individual strides that
you make in med school,
it's really a very community
oriented experience.
I mean, especially in your first year,
you're all going through
the same classes together
and kind of bond through that.
And then through the rest of med school,
you may not be facing the same
challenges at the same time,
but you're doing a lot of the same things
and it just ends up becoming
a really, really strong community,
and it's honestly really, really sad
that I won't get to see
a lot of those people
before that experience is over.
And I've been thinking a lot about that.
I've been reflecting a lot
about how meaningful
all those people were.
Even the people that maybe I wasn't
really close friends with,
all of those people have
a really strong impact
on your journey through med school
and it's a really special thing.
I mean those are bonds that,
whatever they look like,
will be there for the rest of our lives
and it's something very special.
It's sad that we don't get
to celebrate them right now
but it's still something to look back on
and be really proud of,
and I know that I'll always
think of med school fondly.
- I was still able to have an incredible
three-and-a-half years learning
in and out of the clinical space
and I have some great
memories to hold onto,
some lasting friendships and mentorship
that I hope to carry on
through the rest of my life.
And I'm really thankful
that I got to go to Michigan
and I've learned a ton and I can't wait
to start applying it really soon.
For us it was lot, with
Match Day, graduation.
I also was supposed to
get married next week
and that got postponed.
(camera woman laughs)
Yeah, and have my bachelorette party,
and that got postponed,
so there was a ton I
was looking forward to
that has either gotten
dropped off completely,
turned into virtual or postponed,
so it's just been pretty rough.
But I think the key to all of this
is just maintaining perspective.
Like most of my loved ones are healthy
and we're all doing well as a community
and everyone's working
to support each other,
and it's a ton of change
and you never know what's gonna happen,
but I think you just have to be
comfortable with that change,
otherwise it's pretty
hard on a day to day.
- [Jack] Fortitude is
the main virtue, I think,
that is required of a medical student.
And you've done so much
to get to where you are
to be able to apply to medical school,
but the road is still very long
and there's much more of
that kind of sacrifice ahead,
and being able to know that
you're in the right place
and that ultimately there is a light
at the end of the tunnel
and you're doing this
for the right reason.
This profession is worth sacrificing
so much of your life for,
so much a part of yourself for.
But be patient, be patient that you'll get
to the end of the road
and that the process
is there to make you
into a great physician
and into a future leader, hopefully.
(bright music)
