So polygamy is a part of church history
that a lot of people don't really want
to think about even though it's been
over 120 years since the church
officially ended the practice of plural
marriage and I grew up learning about it
and obviously I trust that one day we'll
know all the reasons for it but honestly
I don't know if I could have done it.
Like, I think it would take a lot of
faith. Yeah I don't know if I could have
done it either I kind of wish that we
talked about it a little more at church
because many people don't seem the same
more than just have faith that it was
for a reason but nobody seems to really
have any answers about it. Well let's
talk about it cuz you're right a lot of
people assume that Joseph Smith and
Brigham Young just wanted to sleep with
a lot of women and polygamy was their
solution which actually is not true.
Alright let's go for it let's talk about
polygamy Wow there are a lot of
questions out there
okay well this looks like a good one to
start with so it says how do we know
that Joseph Smith and the whole doctrine
of plural marriage wasn't motivated by
sex or at least highly encouraged by it
yep the first accusation on every
internet page that talks about polygamy
yeah and I mean we've all wondered it
though at some point right? Like when you
start to study out the details of
polygamy there's always that little
nagging voice in the back of your head
that wonders if it really did come from
God. Especially when a ton of people they
just assumed that Joseph Smith was this
cult leader who just took advantage of
women. The thing is that Joseph's avoided
polygamy for as long as he could for
years and was very reluctant to live it
and so if he had just been in it for the
convenient sex he would have just went
for it right but he didn't and actually
one of his wives Helen Mar Kimball,
she wrote to a friend and said if Joseph
had had any impure desires he could
have gratified them in the style of the
world with less danger of his life or
his character than to do as he did but
the Lord commanded him to teach and to
practice that principle and so if you
look at the accounts of how polygamy was
introduced he approached these women
very carefully and sometimes over time
and first explained to them the
spiritual doctrine of polygamy and
there's no evidence that he actively
courted these women or flirted with them
or got sealed to them after episodes of
mounting passion. polygamy was
first and foremost the spiritual
doctrine. yeah well let's look at this
other question did Joseph Smith love his
wives or even cultivate real
relationships with them? he did Joseph
considered himself to be a real husband
in every way to all of his earthly wives
and even the wives that he couldn't
openly care for he made arrangements for
them to make sure that they were taken
care of and in fact I have a quote from
one of his wives
Lucy Walker she wrote that "[Joseph] often
referred to the feelings that should
exist between husband and wives that day
his wives should be his bosom companions
the nearest and dearest objects on earth
in every sense of the word."
so it's wrong to think that he didn't
care for them or have love for them
within the marriage and it shows that he
didn't approach them as a manipulator or
a lover would he approach them first to
teach them the spiritual principle of
plural marriage before anything else. one
thing that's always seems significant to
me is for someone who is supposedly
driven by sex DNA studies and historical
evidence have said that Joseph had
no known children with any of his wives
but he fathered nine children with Emma
and that was despite long absences and
jail time persecutions and busy
schedules. right and it's not like they
were infertile either because after the
prophet's death several of his wives got
pregnant within weeks of getting married
to other men and many of them had large
families so it sounds like even within
Joseph's plural marriages physical
relations didn't happen that often and
it doesn't sound like sex was Joseph's
major driving force. right I think that
just the main issue for some people is
the fact that he did still sleep with
other women.
they weren't just other women they were
his wives and what both he and they
viewed as real binding marriage
consecrated by God. okay next question
It’s a fine line between plural wives and mistresses. What’s the
difference for example between what
Joseph was doing and what John Bennett
was doing with his version of "spiritual
wifery"? alright let's talk about this
for a bit because I think for some it
can be kind of confusing
john bennett he was an ex-soldier who
helped joseph smith a lot when they were
getting the Nauvoo city charter and he
eventually became the mayor of Nauvoo
but as Joseph began to slowly introduce
the doctrine of plural marriage, John
began going around seducing women into
sleeping with him and something that he
called "spiritual wifery" and he told
them that it wasn't a sin to be
intimately involved as long as they
didn't tell anybody about it and he
convinced them by telling them that
other leaders of the church were doing
it too and that the Lord had approved it.
so basically he tricked them and took
advantage of their faith yeah his
spiritual wifery was actually really
different than plural marriage there was
no ceremony or spiritual aspect of any
kind in what he was doing he deserted
the women he didn't take care of them he
or exchange vows with them at all he
treated them basically like conquests or
prostitutes and one of his friends who
also practiced spiritual wifery they
came into a store once in pay two women
two dollars basically in compensation
for sleeping with him also his spiritual
wifery didn't help
strengthen family or eternal bonds in
fact he promised some of the women that
he would use his military medical
training to perform abortions if any of
them happened to get pregnant so that no
one would ever know although there's no
record of that actually happening. yeah
and after John got found out Joseph
tried to take care of things quietly to
avoid scandal and problems with Church
critics and John promised that he would
reform but he eventually was exposed and
excommunicated. right and if Joseph had
just instituted plural marriage for the
easy sex then John Bennett totally would
have supported him but instead Joseph
exposed and disavowed Bennett's acts
publicly. exactly and Joseph was
devastated and angry that he used his
name to commit adultery but in the weeks
before the weeks that he left Nauvoo he
actually admitted and gave a signed
statement that he had never knew Joseph
to be guilty of any improper conduct and
that Joseph had never taught him that
illegal sexual relations was justifiable
in any way. so there were some clear
differences between this so-called
spiritual why free and plural marriage
another telling difference is that the
women who are seduced by John Bennett felt
that it was wrong and many of them came
forward as witnesses or signed
statements testifying against him and
none of Joseph's wives ever did any of
that even after his death even those who
had eventually left the church and had
the chance to denounce the Prophet they
lived the principle in faith and they
truly believed that it came from the
Lord also Joseph asked for their hand in
marriage and received permission from
their families so he taught them the
doctrine as he received it he gave them
the choice for their personal lives and
he accepted their decision whatever it
was. John Bennett used shame to
manipulate the women he seduced. 
Did Joseph Smith publicly deny being a
polygamist if it was so right before God
then why would he have to lie about it?
again, he was put into an incredibly difficult
position between the norms of his
society and what the Lord had asked of
him then William Law who left the church
at the time accused Joseph of committing
adultery but if you look and you
actually go back to see what Joseph
Smith said they were very carefully
worded denials since polygamy was still
illegal in Illinois even though it was
Not illegal in Nauvoo according to the
permissions that were given from the
city charter but what he denied most
emphatically was of being an adulterer
especially after the john bennett
scandal because [Joseph} wasn't an adulterer
he married his wives he cared for their
welfare but he handled the situation
very carefully and he knew that the
things that he said would go out not
only to the Saints at large but also to
the critics of the church. okay this one
asks if Joseph didn't have any children
with anyone other than Emma then what
was the point of him being a polygamist
I mean Brigham Young and most other
polygamists had these large families but
Joseph just had lots of wives and no
children why didn't the Lord just wait
until they got to Utah before
introducing the doctrine? well first of
all no one really knows the reasons the
Lord's reasons for this other than the
ones we've been given but one reason I
think personally is that polygamy was
really difficult for the Saints
to accept and it took some time to
establish and and Joseph himself
resisted living at fully for years and
maybe the Saints would have accepted it
better coming from Joseph than they
would have from Brigham Young but again
nobody knows and Eliza R snow the the
second Relief Society president she was
one of Joseph's wives and the sister of
the future prophet Lorenzo snow she
wrote about Joseph's struggle that he
had with polygamy at first and she said
this he knew the voice of God he knew
the commandment of the Almighty to him
was to go forward to set the example and
establish celestial plural marriage God
who is above all had given the
commandment so although Joseph didn't
truly understand why the Lord had asked
him to do this he lived it with faith
and he set the example for the future
saints that would go out west and
establish polygamy for as long as it was
needed next question
one of the things and it's hard to
explain away it's just how changeable it
all is and the Old Testament you have
polygamous prophets like Abraham and
Jacob but then other monogamous ones
like Noah and the Book of Mormon Jacob
teaches the evils of having more than
one wife yet we believe that Joseph
Smith was commanded by God to live
polygamy well at the same time believing
that it's now amoral and wrong and
people are excommunicated for it so
which is it if God is the same yesterday
today and forever then why would his
Commandments flip-flop so radically it
seems like a real contradiction so it
does kind of seem that way right? but the
thing is that God doesn't change but
sometimes his Commandments do and for
reasons that we don't fully understand
in that moment so for example with the
Jews in the Old Testament the Lord had
told them what kinds of meat they
should or shouldn't eat which we
believed was later changed and then also
there's an example in the Book of Mormon
when the Lord commands Nephi to kill
Laban even though that was against the
Ten Commandments for a specific reason
and so even though it was against the
commandments we know that it saved
Lehi's family both physically and
spiritually and they later became the
fathers and mothers of an entire faith
nation so Ishmael, Abraham's first sent
through his plural wife Hagar fathered
twelve tribes of his own that many
believe are the ancestors of much of the
Middle East while Jacob through his four
wives
father the 12 tribes of Israel which
became the Lord's covenant people and
were the keeper of God's laws and
scriptures so it wasn't arbitrary it
wasn't that the Lord was giving greater
sexual freedom to his prophets it was
for a purpose even the Prophet Jacob
while preaching against polygamy in
general acknowledged that there could be
times where it would be acceptable
before the Lord and Jacob 2:30 it says
for if I will say at the Lord of Hosts
raise up seed unto me I will command my
people [to practice polygamy] otherwise
they shall hearken unto these things so
the thing is that polygamy is always
meant to be the exception not the rule
it's meant to be temporary to fulfill
God's purposes and it has to be. it can't
sustain itself with roughly equal
numbers of men and women in the world. but while we
can look at scriptural examples in his
historical context and see the hand of
the Lord in some reasons why some
commands were probably given the Lord
hasn't given very many concrete answers
for why modern polygamy was commanded
okay the church website actually has new
topics set up online so that you can
research and get answers for yourself
and I found it very interesting to see
the results and blessings that came from
living polygamy at that time and it
actually kind of makes sense to me
listen to this - plural marriage did
result in the birth of large numbers of
children within faithful Latter-day
Saints' homes also marriage became
available to virtually all who desired
it per capita and equality of wealth was
diminished as economically disadvantaged
women married into more financially
stable households and ethnic
intermarriages were increased which helped to
unite a diverse immigrant population so
basically even though we don't have all
of the answers on this it's important to
remember that the Lord does love us and
that He does things for our benefit.
It is His working his glory
to pass our immortality and eternal life
and it's cool to know that the Lord
knows us and is able to adapt both our
trials and our blessings to help
accomplish his eternal purposes and
bless us with everything that we need
both in this life and in the next.
those were some really good questions
that is it for this video but be on the
lookout for video number two because
we're gonna be answering some more
questions about polygamy and about
Joseph and Emma specifically.
you
