Double feminine Ni Te Blast Play Sleep low Consume. Many complicated parts but this is MY PERSPECTIVE!
...a startup company in Portland Oregon
I don't want...
I’m really uncomfortable. What I'm going to talk about, it’s what I think is the truth while other people don't see it as the truth.
It's annoying when you have to engage with people on that kind of level.
I’m like really struggling to share my Fi or something. This is so hard.
This shouldn't be a problem, this should be fine.
Anybody can say whatever the heck
they want...
Hello it is me it is Beka
Welcome to MY PERSPECTIVE: the
series where I offer personal insights
about the FFNi/Te-BP/S(C) female type and
offer some educational embarrassing
things that happen in my life
for your benefit and for the benefit of understanding the profile for this Objective Personality type.
Today we are
talking about my double activated feminine Te.
This is my savior function
two so it's in the second slot of my stack.
Extraverted Thinking. What is
extraverted thinking? What is it trying to do?
Extraverted thinking wants the opinions and the ideas and the reasons from the tribe.
We want to take in and consider the
spectrum of perspectives from all the
individual people that are out there
that make society community whatever.
The issue is particularly with the feminine
Te is I am not wanting to step on anybody's toes.
I don't want to get in the way, I don't want to make anything inconvenient for other people.
Roos has said it very well for
describing Te with the feminine quality
Now, I love my type, I love being me and
having the brain that I've got, but
it is not all peaches and roses, or you
could say roses coz every rose has its thorn.
The functions are each a tool for a particular outcome and you are never going to get the right outcome if you're using the wrong tool.
So this is times where overworking my Te has really let me down when I should have been standing my ground with my Di, with my introverted feelings.
In some of these cases using the Di is more appropriate, some of these cases may be the Fe is more appropriate and so on...
💇🏼‍♀️ One time was when I went for a haircut.
This was recently, the hairdresser told me “I don't do perfect!”
What the heck was I supposed to do with this information?”
I interpreted that as ‘she was not able to give me the haircut that I wanted’ because the haircut I wanted would have been perfect for me.
I wanted a basic white-girl hair cut. I did not want anything  too fancy or...I don't even know, I just wanted a normal haircut
she said she couldn't do perfect.
I don't actually know what she meant.
But I felt intimidated. I felt like if I was really going to ask her for what I wanted it would be stepping on her toes.
It wouldn't work for her! She'd already said
🚫 ‘it doesn't work for me to do the haircut that you want’ and so I just sat there
and I let her cut hair that I wanted to keep on my head.
In that moment she should have been Tribe/Self and I should have been Self/Tribe because I go to a salon to get my needs met.
It's not Saviour for me, it not automatic, for me to say “Hey, give me what I want!”
Don't cut off my hair, I want to keep it.
Another time, basically the same thing
happened, was literally the day before my wedding.
💅🏻 I was getting my nails painted.
I wanted to have navy nails
and here's my reason: I wanted to match with the groom, Levi, I wanted to match him because he was gonna be wearing a navy blue suit.
But my technician she said “oh why do you want that, you should have more bridal nails!”
and what do I do? I sit there. I don't argue. see- Masculine Te would argue. Because she had put her reasons forward I couldn't move them around.
She had already kind of said 🚫‘no, it doesn't work for me to do the idea” that you I had come in for.
My Ni had planned having navy nails for MONTHS and then for it to not happen my Masculine iNtuition is just slapped in the face.
It wasn't a sensory problem, it was just that I was a pushover and I didn't say “no, give me
what I want!”
I have an analogy: what it's like a lot of the time is that I am basically a real-life Ella of Frell (Movie Reference).
She must be obedient and anything that anybody ever tells her to do she just automatically does it.
Hattie: Just admit you're stupid and don't know what you're talking about.
Ella: I'm stupid and I don't know what I'm talking about.
I feel like I have no permission to stray
from what it is that works. It works for them that I complete the tasks that they need me to do.
Char: Wait right there!
Here's one that is really really stupid.
I live an hour away from my parents house, the drive should take an hour.
But see my dad has a said that it should really only take 45 minutes. But if you like me and you drive slow...
because you don't want to be inconveniencing other
people on the road..
Oh boy, even driving is a problem and just because I'm trying not to be in people's way.
The time that I leave (my parents house) is a time that my dad basically told me is the time that I should go.
When really I've got to get to work and I've got other people to serve. I've got a boss who's gonna be mad at me if I am arriving to work late.
Yeah, I'm probably gonna arrive on time but I'm not going to arrive early and I'm not gonna arrive with extra time in case there's a delay on the road.
But again somebody else's
advice is more important than what I believe.
This is just a stupid one that I
felt bad about for a long time and it was really unnecessary.
I've been doing YouTube for a little while and I once had a request:
a commenter said to make a video answering questions while having a shower but wearing my clothes.
Now I knew at the time that I didn't think this video idea was anything that I wanted to do; still I must make this video.
I felt like it was a promise and for 3 years me not fulfilling that promise I felt bad for the person who probably never even watched another of my videos.
Why did I do that to myself? This is why I just don't make promises to people.
I don't make promises to people because I know that it is going to be a nightmare of regret and guilt if I end up not bowing to somebody else’s need.
My need for validation- I'm
only starting to see it now.
I wonder if anybody else is like this:
My entire childhood, growing up in my family home my mother particularly would often have me do chores as all kids should do.
But a lot of the time I, of course,
didn't want to- I don't want to do the chores.
When my mum would ask me to do something and I was avoiding it or procrastinating it would just feel *really* bad.
so either I will have to do that or do what I want but not enjoy it.The same goes for any assignments I had to do, any homework I had to do, for teachers.
I saw teachers assigning an assessment as being something that they needed, something that they wanted from me.
Because they're going to grade it and you might get a really good score; I wanted that.
But sometimes an assignment can be really hard it, can be something that you're not actually very good at.
Even though my natural ability to complete the assignment is really poor I'm still feeling strongly that I need to do this assignment.
and either procrastinating again like with
my mum and the chores, Procrastinating would feel horrible because I'm not fulfilling somebody else's need.
It was just this big struggle. That turmoil!
It's not easy to procrastinate particularly when somebody else has a deadline.
This one's actually really like “Rebekah, why don't you have a backbone?!”
There is something that I do in my job that is morally compromising.
Instead of standing up for myself I've just let time pass and hoped that my conscience would be dulled to it.
When I started my job I had a very strong repulsion to participate in the sale of three things:
1.lotto tickets 2.cigarettes, and
I don't want to offend people but 3.incense sticks.
For those purposes of just burning incense to make your house smell good, fine I'll sell them to you, I don't have a problem with that but it's just that.
if the box actually says the purposes of this is for the use in practices for worship to other gods; that are not the Creator.
FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR SAFETY: IT’S DANGEROUS!
I don't want to be credited your moral offence if you use them for something that from my belief perspective it is idolatrous.
I don't want to be an enabler. I just don't want to facilitate that.
There should be ways to work around it but I don't want to inconvenience anybody.
(Addressing myself) Really if you can't do it with a clean conscience then you shouldn't be doing it.
This video has once again turned from
objective personality into religion.
I also have trouble thinking that I really
shouldn't ask for any time off at work.
Doing so would affect the team
and the efficiency and all the schedules
The feminine Te is also very annoying when friends want you to tell them what you want to do.
they're asking, they're being nice and they're saying “Hey, what do you want to do?” and you don't speak up.
Yeah that's me. I'm the annoying friend who won't inconvenience you by telling you the time that I want to meet,
or I don't even want to be friends at all. I don't want to be part of this relationship!
Cause there’s been some of those [situations] as well.
There’s defiantly a few occasions where having feminine, double-activated, Savior Te: Making it work for everyone else is really not the best thing all the time.
I need to have my “you will no longer be obedient” moment.
My hero's journey. To give myself the permission to put my own needs into the mix of what's going to
get accomplished.
Let me know, down below, if you've got this part in your function stack.
When are the times that you feel like you can't say no to people? Where you've moved for other people so that they can have things their way?
I would really love to know I'm not
alone in this.
Thank you for watching. Subscribe if you
haven't already. I'll see you in another video.
Bye :)
