Hey there everyone welcome to Internet comment etiquette
I'm wrong money Salvi your host and the whole point of this show is to examine the voice of the internet and see what
we can do to guide that voice towards being more proper and respectful
But then again, maybe I'm wrong and the internet doesn't need my help
I mean after all I'm already wrong about all kinds of stuff like I didn't know I was eating bananas wrong
How do you peel a banana?
I usually do you like go from this side right and it just like so annoying to like it's hard to break you see
I'm saying just like 
Yeah Dude!
The bananas just got all messed up you know
Ah, Fuck!
First peel it from this side bring it like that hold it and boom open it oh
Yeah, that is way easier. Well. Let's hope I don't get anything wrong with this comment. Yo Big Ups boyfriend
I'm just relieved to finally watch a video from Russia where someone isn't doing pull-ups off of construction equipment
One love and I bet you can't do a video on how I've been eating shrimp all wrong
Yeah, bitch and then post up nope wrong again
Even eating shrimp wrong!
Pierce it from the top, move up this thing...
Or just use your hands
layers of skin and just pierce it through right here
Or just use your hands!
Push it down on the legs right here, down there
Just use your hands you get eaten a bunch of shrimp by now, then look
You're done!
Or you can just use your hands, see this guy gets it.
Well, It's nice to know that it wasn't wrong about that one. I mean hey what's next you gonna, tell me I'm eating the banana wrong
Now before we start the lesson
It's important to know that anyone can be wrong about anything at any time
Even you knowing that should give you a sense of creeping dread up your spine that makes you suspicious of all of your thoughts
Lest you be wrong about them
So always be ready to abandon anything you think of is right and real
Such as the right way to open a container if you tell there's to tell you hope another fella. Oh
There it is
fuck
thankfully
Oh, I fucked up my container it's glass
All right, well, I guess I better take a shit in this comment section
I squeezed that thing like a teenage Ted Cruz choking the life out of an alley cat for practice
And it still didn't work
That sucks cuz I like to save the foils and smack them on my walls so they block out the AIDS satellite that Elon Musk
Has pointed at my house?
I covered my dog with the - but
That's cuz he keeps mentally trying to convince me to blow the mailman the only thing I'm blowing around here is blowing up the truth
About 9/11 it's the goddamn clown people. Why is nobody talking about this all you gotta. Do is look up
They can make plane shaped clouds our heads are antennas friend alone. Oh
Sorry I was wrong wrong about the cloud people very wrong I sorry must go okay, yep post
Oh good
Luck proving those points wrong now
Despite all the resources online to show you how wrong you are there is one major pitfall here
And it's the people on the internet truly hate to be told that they're wrong. Let me show you an example
On Twitter you're wrong about the wage gap and tweet and wait like
Okay, let's check it doesn't exist fuck you through this shit man. Gary brought the weed girl
I get the joke and all but just to throw it out there have you studied this in college the age gap is very real
Okay, if you saw it in college
There's no way that could be wage gap applies women are paid drastically less for the same job
Which is far between words and I want to stick my dick in the wage for me in real life
Then we'll see you later cap doesn't exist it's an earnings
That's really us we have to look at why it exists a mischaracterization of statistics concerning men's and women's meat waiters, I'm saying
See what did I tell you everybody here is pissed off, and I didn't have to say who was wrong
But just by mentioning it I've created an absolute shit show that's why I think today's topic is so interesting because even though there's all
These videos and articles out there saying what we're wrong about and why we're wrong and how wrong we are
They still get millions of views and shares
So I'm proud to be the first person on YouTube to actually approach this topic and we can talk about it to- Wrong!
What the fuck? Maddox! Yes, it is I the best hologram in the universe and you're actually wrong about covering this topic
I already did it back in 2014
There's a growing trend on the internet for so called life hackers to write condescending linkbait articles about things
You've been doing wrong every day
Yeah, you even did the same Russian guy that I did put it over and boom. Tell me something Erik
How does it feel to be so wrong well it's weird because on one hand I'm glad to know the truth
But at the same time it kind of hurts a little bit like a like a gear. It's going the wrong way
It's like a shame headache. Yeah, that has to do with som'ething call'ed social pa'in you ill'itera'te fuc'k! hey
There was a 2014 study called the pain of social exclusion that posited that the pain from being mocked online
trigger an area in the brain that is traditionally associated with the sensory processing of
physical pain. So being proven wrong hurts. And when something hurts you over and over again Erik. How do you react?
Oh, I avoid that thing!
Bingo! And that's why people refuse to be wrong on the internet. Because nobody wants to admit they can receive physical pain through a computer
Yeah, and you know what else is wrong? Comfort animals! Wait, what?
It turns out that people are creating fake IDs for their animals just to have an excuse to bring them to restaurants, grocery stores, and-
What fuck are you talking about? these animals aren't trained to do any specific tasks. Maddox, what are you doing?
How about a comfort therapist? They can give you emotional support
as well as talk to you in human language- Are you just doin' your own show? -the biggest difference between an animal and a therapist is
that a therapist doesn't die after twelve years. Maddox! Yeah? Stop doing your show! Yeah, here's an idea Erik,
why don't I bring my fucking comfort elephant onto a plane? Dude hang up the hologram machine!
-what about a comfort vibrator? 
You're just doing your show on my show!
Maybe I'll shove it up my ass and feel real comfortable the entire flight - get off my hologram!
Subscribe right here, and don't forget to pick up my new book, Fuck Whales!
Dude, st- don't plug your book!
 Thanks for watching. That's it for now. Until next time. I'm Maddox. MADDOX! Yeah yeah, what's up?
What the hell was that?
 Hey Erik!
What? Buy my book. No! All right fuck you see ya! Boop! Zzzerrm.
Mmm son of a bitch all right well
Thanks Maddox for calling in I guess hey am I wrong or were we about to watch a YouTube video
Ten every day things are doing wrong by two million views, but hello everyone hang on a second
Why in the world would I watch a list of ten things?
I'm doing wrong when I can watch a list of 17 things. I've been doing wrong by 23 million views
That's what I'm talking about at number one
crossing out words
When most people are writing and they need to cross out
What was written? They'll often just draw lines back and forth over the work
This is a mistake when you cross out the words with lines. They will still be legible if you cross out
I'm just gonna skip ahead here. Oh number two organizing your spray bottles
Number four making a bologna sandwich wait what how could anyone possibly be doing that wrong cut those slices of Bologna into pieces
Peeing while standing up oh here we go our stuff for reasons that man should pee sitting down
I already do that anyway
Okay, well let's see what twenty-three million views gets you in the comments section looks like I'm on the bullshit side of YouTube again
But I'll throw wrong is watching this video
Why is this on my recommendation?
Made me lose 5% of my brain cells from watching this video has no quality add two slices so Dom none of this is true
Hahahaha sounds like Barack, oh.what Ron is sitting down it sucked
it was Tom could suppose is so annoying this is that most retreated vide and appropriate for those things, too is this if my
Recommendations what the farm a lot of social pain going on in those comments now?
I'm gonna show I watch this whole video by citing various moments from it in my comment took a piss sitting down while I watch
this video
But it didn't work like you said it would because I just ended up with half a deuce coming out of my ass and since
I wasn't ready to shit. It just kind of stayed there awkwardly and I had to pinch it off
They've wiped my ass for five hours
Before returning to work and my baloney sandwich shop how about next time you do a list on something useful like top 17 ways
I'm banging my wife wrong because we haven't been intimate since that can you do with all the drones was president anyway keep making those
Lists and congrats on the 23 million views from everyone's grandmas on Facebook and post ok nothing felt wrong about that
Let me just cross this off my list
Moving along here's six things you're probably doing wrong and player unknowns battlegrounds by will Hoyle jr.
I mean I do suck at this game
So just be nice to get some tips good morning you be people let's talk about the six things
You're probably doing wrong and player unknowns
Battlegrounds now while this and the following guides are tailored for group and duo's play pub Gia's group play hang on a second
Holy shit. I had no idea. Hey guys. How's it going Canon amour? What's up?
No market says it is England. They're just number one number one
No, no, no it is my unfortunate position that I must inform you that England is it always has been number one England antenna
Okay, I do declare
Good chap that. It is England that is number one my mom cannot no no no
America never Rock okay England number one. God save the queen' no no no America
Anglo native pigs
Not over England, and we lost well. Let's take a look at who killed me. He ran up uh-oh
Nothing suspicious about that oh
This video is still going at least however. There is a right and a wrong way to utilize cover
I prepared a video for the purpose of instruction that I'll be referencing now
Pay attention to the act of entering cover where you get nut to but with the cover
And then you sweep your flanks to make sure you know this guy really went the extra mile to show you how you do things
Right the reason you do it. This way is that you can send rounds downrange and on target quicker
That's actually useful information about how I'm doing things wrong. I'm getting a whole bunch of shame headaches going on right now
I'll bet this has like a million views. No nope not even close okay
Well finally someone deserves that big money bounce so let me hit him with some sugar in the comments. Hey, thanks
I haven't seen this much work put into a video list since my ex wife's divorce lawyer
had someone edit together all the footage from her living room spy cam of me stealing tampons from her purse so I can but chug
vodka at the dinner table without our kids knowing
I'm off the wagon. Hope FEMA isn't watching these tips cuz it'll be that much harder to hide from them in the woods once they
start rounding us all up for the quarantine pits Kony 2012
England number one. And, post! See, some people out there know how to help, and I wish Will all the best in his future endeavors.
That said, I just ran some numbers,
and if I were to cover every video of people telling you what you're doing wrong, this lesson would be about eight million hours in
length. So, let's just do 'em all real quick with a little comment montage kicker.
Fifteen emojis you've been using wrong by
Factnomenal. This symbol looks like steam coming off of a hot bowl of soup
Anybody know what the emoji is where it's just words that say, "I'm pregnant with your child,
please we need to talk"? Either way, I replied with a poop emoji and blocked the number. Ah, post! Thanks Factoatmeal. What's next?
What girls do wrong in bed! All right, so today
girls we're going through the top nine mistakes women make in the bedroom
Tell you what else girls do wrong they grow their hair out put it up into pretty little ponytails make me look like an asshole
When I offer to buy him a drink at the bar, and they turn around to reveal
It's just a guy like you and post well. What else is wrong everyday technology. You're using wrong by post feed video oh
Shit, I fucking knew our heads our antennas and 10 things you're doing wrong in the shop
Well loop us our scrunchie and coming up fun colors. They breathe bacteria
I'm not allowed to use the shower at my house anymore because I gave my whole family hepatitis my Holman showerhead like a microphone for
My farts timbre many things you have been using wrong next time you need to go looking through a darkened room
Which has no light source simply place an eye patch over one. Eye
I'm wearing our parents for a week cuz I busted a nut do an industrial fan
And it's shot right back hit square in the paper
Give it wiping your bum wrong your whole life according to doc wiping your bum seems like such a mindless thing
Videos a robot Ellen's you, bud. Thanks to this video. I can now wipe my ass cleaner than Hillary Clinton wipes our email servers any
Robot man why I make everything political upside boy goddamn
It's the warder touch thing wrong all those texts being sent it may surprise you to learn though that you're doing it wrong were you?
Guys in an episode of It's Always Sunny you Philadelphia hit post that's what it feels like to be on the other side of that
You're doing it all wrong how to make matzo balls. Who are doing it?
Oh, I feel like a gust of wind could blow this old bitch away
Yeah, and I feel like you could blow an entire gas station of truckers, and it'd be called Tuesday
That was reading watermelon wrong you just take a wooden spoon right through the middle of it well. Thanks
You know what else I did wrong. I built a trampoline for my dog, but I put it too close to this art installment
I've been working on called upside down dog shredder on a pole
Needless to say that dog got two bounces in before Obama hit it with a drone strike because he doesn't believe in the arts. Oh
Oh shit. Well. That's all of them. You know. I think I learned something here
So the making someone feel wrong is hard because feeling wrong hurts, and why would we want to hurt each other so?
Don't tell anyone they're wrong
Tell everyone don't tell anyone they're wrong you have to tell them they're right just don't tell them they're wrong
Keep it to yourself and let everyone think that they're just right
With that in mind you're all right about the wage gap and tweet yeah, yeah, that's the lesson
Yeah
Yeah
*outro music plays*
Wait a second these responses are still awful. I don't get what I did
*outro music playing*
