 
Queen (Chaos #3)

By Claire Farrell

Editing by Red Adept Publishing Services

Three kings.

Two queens.

One heir.

Chaos will rule...

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © Claire Farrell

Claire_farrell@live.ie

Cover by CCR Designs

Licence Notes:

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold.

Chapter One

Zoe yanked the duvet off me. "That's enough. It's been a month, Cara! No more moping around like a mahoosive loser. Get up and look for a job, or find a way to go back to college."

I curled up in a ball and closed my eyes. "They won't let me."

"Then explain to them where you've been! Or better yet, explain it to me. Because I think I deserve to know more than anyone. I'm sick of you keeping secrets from me, and worse, forcing me to keep secrets from everyone else. I don't know why we can't tell anyone you're back."

"Because I'm not ready to deal with the drama yet."

"Well, get ready because I have a fuck load of drama to unleash on your skinny arse."

I rolled over, glaring at my best friend through blurred vision. "What are you so grumpy about today?"

"I'm PMSing all over the place," she snapped. "But even if I wasn't, I'd still be mad at you. There's no statute of limitations on my anger, Cara Kelly!"

I sat up. "Fine. Jesus." Then, something managed to get through my haze of heartbreak. I stared at my best human friend in horror as her words sank in, and the walls came tumbling around my shoulders.

She was PMSing. But I wasn't. In fact, I hadn't had my period since... some time before Drake became king—before I slept with him. By human standards, that had been over a year ago, but for me, only months had passed. I hurriedly counted on my fingers. Two missed periods. Oh, my God!

"What?" Zoe frowned. "Why'd you go all pale?"

"Holy shit, Zoe." My stomach churned. "I haven't had a period since I last saw you."

"Um, that's not right. Are you feeling okay? Cramping or anything?"

"No, you don't understand. It's been over a year for you, but only a couple of months for me since I last... since I had... oh, my God." I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up.

Zoe followed and rubbed my back. "Hey, bestie. Why are you puking? Please say you weren't busy acting like a slut while you were gone, because that would kind of diminish all of the worrying I did."

I finally stopped retching and leaned against the bath. "I slept with Drake."

"And you didn't use a condom?" Her face turned red as she pointed at me. "I warned you, Cara! We sat in my kitchen, and we talked about this."

"Not really. I mean, it wasn't like that. It was..." I bit my lip, feeling ridiculously idiotic. The thought of possible pregnancy had never occurred to me.

"How could you be so stupid? I'm supposed to be the immature one. I've never had to take a pregnancy test! And now you are, and you're acting like a fourteen-year-old about it."

"I have to take a test?" I said dumbly.

"Jesus." She sat next to me. "Stop panicking. Let's both just calm down for a minute. We'll go get a test. You'll take the test. It'll be negative, and I can go back to hating you. That's the plan."

I laughed. "I really hope you're right."

"I'm never wrong. Except about you being the smart one, obviously. And Drake? I mean, he was cute and all, but meh. Your kid will be all kinds of scrawny."

I glared at her.

"Except there's no kid," she added hurriedly. "I mean, you said yourself you haven't had a period in over a year. That means there's something wrong with you, not that you're pregnant."

"You don't get it. It hasn't been a year for me."

"You keep saying that." She sighed. "You're starting to freak me out."

I held her gaze. "Just trust me on this, Zoe. There are things going on that I can't tell you about. You wouldn't want to know."

"Does this have to do with that lecturer? And Drake?"

"It has everything to do with them. I want to tell you, but I know you won't believe me. I know you won't be able to understand. Let's just say some crazy shit happened, but now it's over. It's done. And I'll have to deal with the consequences myself."

She studied my face then shrugged. "So are you going to tell him?"

I shook my head. Getting in touch with the faery king was out of my power. And if I was pregnant, how did that work? The time issue alone was confusing enough to... no, there was no pregnancy. It was stress. Stress was the root of all of my problems. I was losing weight. That didn't happen during a pregnancy. I cheered up. I probably had some parasitical disease from drinking filthy fae water. That was all. I would be fine.

"It's unlikely anyway," I said with a teary smile. "One time with him and I get caught? How pathetic would that be?"

She hesitated. "Why don't you have a shower? I'll run out to the chemist to get a test."

"Yeah, maybe that would be good." As she made to stand up, I grabbed her hand. "Thanks, Zoe. For everything."

"You would do the same for me, idiot."

When she left, I jumped into the shower and thought of all of the reasons why I couldn't be pregnant by a faery. I had been so consumed with worry about my friends that I hadn't even considered the possibility of a pregnancy. And that was probably because it was extremely unlikely. Extremely.

Zoe returned with four pregnancy tests. She gave me a sheepish smile as she spread them across the bed. "You never know."

I picked up one of them. "Three minutes," I said, looking at the instructions. "A cross if it's a yes, a line if it's a no."

"So in less than five minutes, we'll know." She looked even more nervous than I was, if that were possible. "Go for it."

In the bathroom, I peed on the stick then left it face down on the floor. I ran out and slammed the door behind me as if all of the hounds of hell were on my heels.

"And now we wait," Zoe said. Both of us lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Should we time it?"

I shook my head. "I'll check in a bit. Just... what'll happen if... if..."

"Then your baby will have two mamas." She rolled over on her side. "I mean, between the two of us, we can figure out how to take care of a baby, right?"

I shivered. "I'm not really cut out to be a parent, Zoe."

"Who is? I mean, really, it's not like people take a test for it."

"I'm unreliable." My voice shook on the word. "And I don't know how to love properly. Look at my parents. Look at my life. I'm a mess. Seriously."

"Of course you know how to love. And your parents are just great examples of the things you won't want to do as a mother." She smiled. "You love me, right?"

I wheezed out a shaky laugh. "Drake said he loved me before he sent me away. He said that, and I wanted him to want me, but I never even considered saying it back. I'm broken. There's something missing inside of me."

"Is that why he sent you away?"

I shivered. "He said he had to keep me safe. But he took everything with him. He left me with no way of knowing if anyone is dead or alive. Anya was... she could be dead. And the last time I saw Líle, she was in a bad way, and I left her to take care of myself. What kind of person am I?"

"You're a good person. You're my best friend. I don't know what the hell has been going on with you, but I know you better than anyone. You deal with everything life throws at you. You always have."

"But a baby? I'm never going to see Drake again, and even if I did, he's not exactly father material. It's bad enough that I screw up my own life, but screwing up a baby's life before it even starts? That's a pretty big sign that I'm not capable of pulling this off. So what do I do?"

"We'll figure out how to—"

"But I don't want a baby. I mean, I never really thought about it. I just kind of assumed that motherhood was going to be one of those things I missed out on. Maybe I would change my mind someday, like far off into the future when I have half a clue what I'm doing, but now is the worst possible time."

"What if Drake wanted to see it? What if he wanted to take the baby?" She cleared her throat. "The hypothetical baby."

I touched my stomach. How could a life form in there? "He wouldn't. He sent me away and then disappeared. He made sure I had no way of contacting him again."

"But why? None of this makes any sense to me."

I shrugged. "He said I didn't belong in his world. Technically, he was right. We weren't sleeping together. I mean, we did once, obviously, but that was ages ago and kind of because we thought he was going to die. I mean, it's not like I regret it or anything, but it seems like a lifetime ago. There was someone else I grew close to, and then... then everything changed, and I couldn't ignore how I felt about Drake."

"And the other dude?"

"I think maybe I didn't really know him like I thought I did. He said I could come to him for anything, but I've no idea how to find him. They all left together and left me behind."

"I'm sorry, Cara."

I looked at her. "I want to tell you everything, Zoe, but I doubt you would believe a word of it."

"You could try."

I got off the bed and brushed my hair off my face. "I think it's time to check the test. Let's hope it puts us out of our misery and lets us get back to our normal state of anxiety."

She gripped my shirt as we crept toward the bathroom.

I giggled, kind of hysterically. "You'd swear there was a rat in there."

"Yeah, but it could be worse," she said with a snort.

My hand froze on the handle of the door. "Holy crap, I think I'm gonna shit myself."

"Want me to look?"

"No. I won't believe it unless I see it for myself. I'm just... this can't happen. I can't have a baby."

I pushed open the bathroom door. Kneeling next to the test, I flipped it over and stared at the result for a long time.

A cross. Positive. As if having an unwanted baby was a happy event. I was carrying a faery baby. I leaned forward, feeling faint.

Zoe gripped my shoulders and kept me upright. Tears were pouring down her face.

I shook my head, breathing heavily. I couldn't let it sink in because then it would be true. There would be no going back.

"Stop it!" She shook me. "Stop freaking out."

I snapped out of my little trance, shoved her aside, and threw up again in the toilet. "I need to take a second test," I said when I had finished retching. "I need to make sure."

"Yeah, of course. Um, I'll get you some juice or water or... I'll be back." She hurried out of the bathroom.

I sat against the bath, sweating buckets. Had I been suffering with morning sickness on the journey to the Fade? Had the Miacha congratulated me on my pregnancy? It all made too much sense. I was shivering by the time Zoe returned with a glass of water.

When she offered it, I pushed it away. "It's no use. This is really... really happening."

"You don't know that. Tests can be wrong."

"When I was travelling with him, I kept feeling weak and sick." I thought of Sorcha, how she had planned on letting me walk away until she touched me. Maybe a bringer of death could sense new life. Maybe she knew I was pregnant, and that was why she wanted to kill me—to sacrifice royal blood. Royal blood. I leaned over the toilet and threw up again. I was carrying a king's child, royal blood, and she had wanted to spill it for power. What would the likes of Sadler do?

"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?" She helped me to my feet. "Let's just get out of the bathroom. Away from the test." She thrust the water glass into my hands.

Nodding, I let her lead me back into the bedroom. I sipped the water while sitting on the edge of her bed. "This is fucked up. So much makes sense, even though I really don't want it to."

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea. I've been miserable because I didn't have a clue how I was going to take care of myself, and now this?"

"I'm here for you," she said. "You don't have to be scared. You're not alone."

"But look at me." Tears formed in my eyes. "I don't have a job. I don't have a plan. I can't have this baby, Zoe. Any other baby would be a struggle. But his baby will be a nightmare. I can't cope with this. I can't do it."

"Whatever you decide to do, I'll be with you."

I looked at her. "Even if I get an abortion?"

"I won't like it, but I'll be on the boat to England with you." She took my hands in hers. "It's not about what anyone else wants, Cara. It's about what's best for you. If you think you'll give this baby a shitty life, then don't keep it. Just don't jump into a decision based on the father, you know? You have options."

I licked my cracked lips. "You don't understand. It wouldn't be a normal baby."

"That isn't very fair," she said softly. "I was joking about the scrawny thing."

"No, that's not what I mean. I can't explain. I'll just... I want my mam."

"I could call her for you."

I shook my head. I had to wrap my head around things first. "I need... I need to get a job. No matter what I do, I need money. I'll have to... have to..."

"You could think about adoption. Or maybe talking to someone at a crisis centre."

"I can't do that." I couldn't answer questions, and I most certainly couldn't let an unsuspecting family adopt a baby with faery blood. I felt as if I had a time bomb growing inside of me.

"I'll make you a doctor's appointment."

I gave her a blank look.

"You have to get a check-up to see if you're okay. What you're feeling right now, I think it's kind of normal. I mean, it must be shocking to learn there's a new life growing inside of you." Her expression softened as she glanced at my belly. "You did that, Cara, made a little you. Isn't that kind of amazing?"

I closed my eyes. It might have been amazing if I had help. If the baby had a father who wanted me around. If a million other stars had aligned and made life perfect. But life would never be perfect, and the pregnancy terrified me. What if faery babies were born different? What if I was growing a monster inside of me? What if it clawed its way out or something? What if it had no feelings, no morals? How would I cope?

Tears leaked out as I remembered Ronnie and Drake's mother. One had lost her mind over her faery pregnancy; the other had lost her life. I highly doubted Drake was going to murder me to take my child, but losing my mind was a definite possibility. "I feel like I'm going crazy," I said. "Like this is going to just break me."

"Nothing's going to break you." She wrapped her arms around me. "I'm here with you, no matter what happens. Okay, it's a shock, but we'll figure this out. We'll work out a way to do this. You're not alone."

I felt entirely alone. I stupidly hadn't even thought of the repercussions of sleeping with Drake. Now I couldn't avoid them.

Chapter Two

The doctor checked my urine sample. "Congratulations," he said, sounding bored. "You're going to be a mother."

Zoe squeezed my hand, but my head was spinning off my shoulders at the confirmation of a nightmare. I could really do with some oblivion water to help me forget everything. Faery baby, a voice in my head taunted, with murderers for parents. I felt sick again. It had been two weeks since I took the first test, and I was no closer to coming to terms with the pregnancy.

"I'll write you a referral for the maternity hospital of your choice," the doctor said, not making eye contact. "They'll organise a first appointment. There, they'll take a history of the parentage and any possibility of hereditary diseases. They'll take blood samples and organise a scan. You'll be further along by then. Too far along to change your mind, do you understand me?"

I flinched, startled. "What?"

"If you're planning on doing any travelling to end this pregnancy, then the sooner, the better." A tinge of pity flavoured his voice. "You have choices. They might be costly and inconvenient, but they're there. I'm going to give you a card. Call the number to talk to someone who can take you through your options." He handed me the card and squeezed my shoulder. "You're not the first young woman to be surprised by something like this." He smiled. "So stop looking like the world is crashing around you. There are worse things."

I nodded, feeling numb. He talked some more before letting us go, but I barely heard a word. I left the surgery, scarcely noticing Zoe following me.

"Okay," she said. "I think we might as well hand in the letter now. The sooner we get an appointment, the better."

I looked at her, terrified.

"Unless... unless you want to do something different."

"I don't know what to do." I blew out a shaky breath. "Nothing feels right."

"So we'll make the appointment and find out more. Everything will feel much better once we understand what's going on."

She smiled, and I realised she was months ahead of me, thinking of blue or pink. I was still in that bathroom, waiting for a line or a cross. I was still with the fae. I would never truly leave them.

I was addicted to them, and my baby could be born with the same addiction. I would always long to go back, and that wasn't fair on a child. And was it fair on the human world to unleash a faery baby on it? I had changed with the fae, grown darker, and I was in no position to raise a child. What kind of person would I even be capable of rearing?

We caught a bus to the maternity hospital in town, Zoe leading the way. I went along because I had no idea of what else to do. I almost walked back out as soon as we stepped through those doors. The heat, the smell, and the amount of waddling fat ladies—it was all too much. I couldn't breathe.

Zoe squeezed my hand. "It's okay. We're just making an appointment."

"I can't do this," I whimpered. "I'm literally freaking out because of all of the pregnant women."

"Cara." She gripped my shoulders and gave me a stern look. "You're one of them."

I hung my head. "I know. I just don't want to be."

She hesitated, obviously frustrated. "Come on. Let's find out where we have to go."

We had to queue up amongst pregnant women waiting for their appointments. Some of them looked blissfully happy, but others seemed depressed. Most of them looked uncomfortable or exhausted. One red-faced woman looked ready to pop, though she was already pushing a screeching toddler around in a buggy.

I blew out a breath as I reached the top of the queue. A woman behind the counter asked me a number of questions, her perfectly manicured fingers flying across the keyboard as she set up my file. Making the appointment was easy, but I couldn't even tell them when I had gotten pregnant. The dates were way too confusing. I returned to Zoe with a hospital card and an appointment.

She stood, her eyes bright with excitement. "Done?"

"Yeah, it's..." I scanned the appointment card. "Um, in four weeks."

"Good! That's really good. My cousin said she was waiting for—"

"Let's just get out of here. I need to get a job."

She followed me out of the hospital without another word. We passed pregnant women smoking outside the main doors. A part of me judged, while another part sneered that at least they wanted their babies.

Zoe took me to a nearby cafe. "I need a coffee to steady the ol' nerves."

I giggled. "I need a whiskey for that."

"Banned. No coffee, either."

"No life," I added. "No money, no fun, no freedom."

"That's what the lovin' costs," she managed to say with a straight face.

We got our drinks and took a seat at an empty table.

Zoe gave me a sheepish look. "I told Mam where we were heading today."

"You told her?" My hands flew up to my mouth. "What did you do that for? I'm not ready for people to know. I don't even know what I'm going to do yet!"

"She's going to notice the bump eventually. And I'm sorry, but I needed to talk about it to somebody. She won't tell anyone. Don't worry. She's surprised, but she's not going to make you leave."

Maybe knowing what a mother thought would help. "What did she say?"

She grinned. "First, she said she thought you had more sense. Then, she said she hopes this makes you happy." Her smile fell. "You've been pretty miserable since you came back."

I gazed at the cup of green tea in front of me. "I know. I'm sorry I've complicated everything for you. I just miss... you know." But she didn't know. Not really. This had to be my fresh start. I looked her in the eye. "I'll pay rent. Tell Angela that I won't sponge off her. I'll find my own place as soon as I can."

"You need a job first."

"Don't remind me. I think it's pretty impressive just how much I've fucked up my life," I said. "I mean, I've lost my family, my job, my place at college, and the father of my child. I'm on a freaking roll here. I should win some kind of epic failure award."

"Hey, you still have me."

"I used to wish for your drama back. When things got bad and dangerous, I would think of our nights out, of the arguments with Darren and stupidly walking in the cold late at night. I missed you so much."

"Then why didn't you come home? I don't understand where you've been, Cara."

I sighed. "I couldn't find my way. And I had something I needed to do. I can't believe I've been pregnant this entire time. You couldn't even guess what's been happening."

"So tell me. Tell me something. At least tell me what happened to your shoulder and calf. They looked nasty the first night. And you were thin before, but you came back ridiculously lean and fit. Jen next-door hired a trainer for the summer, and she got nowhere close to your figure."

I smiled. I doubted Jen Next-Door would have enjoyed the kind of diet I had been on.

"Come on," Zoe coaxed. "How did you get hurt?"

"They're barely scars now." I gave her a wry smile. "I'd love to tell you, but you would think I was completely insane, at best. And I'd like you to not know some of the things I had to do."

She was silent for a long time. "Tell me one true thing."

I frowned. I could do that. One thing. I thought of the journey I made to the Fade and back again, of all of the creatures I had come across, of all of the dangers I had faced, of the lives I had willingly taken. I had been through so much. It was a little hard to believe it had all happened less than a month ago. I wished I could see them all again, to know that everyone was safe. To know that Líle had shaken off the effects of the Hauntings, that Anya had made it to the Miacha and survived being speared.

I cleared my throat. "I fell off a horse and rolled down a hill. I didn't know I was pregnant then, obviously."

She stared at me. "What the fuck kind of people were you hanging around with?"

If only she knew. If only I could forget.

Chapter Three

Alone in Zoe's room, I turned the card the doctor had given me over in my hands. It listed a crisis number, but I couldn't bear the thought of actually talking to someone about what I was feeling. Zoe was my best friend, but even she sometimes looked at me as if I were a monster for even considering not keeping the baby. It wasn't as if it was even a baby yet. I squeezed my eyes shut as a flash of violet eyes came to me. Drake was haunting me. I would never see him again, but a baby meant I would never forget him.

A website address was on the back of the card. Maybe that would help. I turned on Zoe's laptop and typed in the URL.

I read an article about picturing the perfect life. Did a baby fit into it? I sat back and tried to imagine my idea of bliss. I shivered as I realised that would probably be me back in the faery realm without the worries of the human world. One touch from Drake and everything would feel so much better.

Shaking my head, I clicked through article after article. Abortion details made me squirm, adoption was a definite no-go, and the idea of raising a faery baby made me feel as though I were having a panic attack. I would never win.

The name "Brighid" caught my eye. Curious, I clicked on a story about St. Brighid performing a miraculous abortion, removing an unwanted pregnancy as if it never happened with just a few words. How easy life would be if mistakes could be erased so effortlessly. Brighid was the goddess of fertility. I wondered what she would think of my pregnancy. I wondered what Drake would think if he knew.

And a part of me already knew what I had to do.

***

As I dressed for my first appointment, I stared at my stomach in Zoe's full-length mirror. Turning to the side for a better look, I made a face. Was that a bump? An actual shape?

Shrugging off the thought, I finished getting ready and headed downstairs. Zoe's mother stood in the kitchen with a cup of tea, a wrinkle marring her smooth forehead.

"Hey, Angela," I said, feeling awkward. "Um, I didn't know you were going to be here today. How's the new job?"

"Good. Great, actually. It's been refreshing, you know, getting back out there after all of these years." She put down her cup and smiled at me. "All set?"

"Looks like it." I rubbed my wrist. "Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you myself. I swear I didn't know I was pregnant when I came here."

"I can't say it didn't come as a surprise, but you're no trouble. You're welcome to stay here as long as you need. You've been a friend to Zoe for a long time. She needs to be a friend to you right now, so let her."

"But I can't depend on her forever. Don't worry. I'm going to find a place soon. I'll be out of the way."

"And Zoe will go with you." She sighed. "You need to see your mother, Cara. She'll want to be there for you."

"She couldn't be there when it counted."

"So she's run out of chances? Is that what you're telling yourself?"

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just kept my mouth shut.

"I don't know your mother well, but I know what it's like to be the parent of a child who would like nothing better than to run away from you. She would love to feel involved, even if it's only in a small way."

"I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I mean... I'm not cut out for motherhood. I'm a disaster."

"We're all disasters. We all make mistakes. I can't tell you everything is going to be okay. All I can do is tell you about my experience, how something truly wonderful helped me forget about how miserable the rest of my life was. Having Zoe kept me going. She needed me, so I never quite gave up on her father because I thought having both parents around was the ideal family, a perfect life for her."

"That's not how she tells it," I blurted. I slapped my hand over my mouth. "Oh, Angela, I'm so sorry. I—"

She shook her head. "I know how Zoe feels. When her father left, she blamed me, but for the first time, I was free. She doesn't see how I've been changing, but I've been suffocated my entire life, and now I'm finally learning how to be myself. No matter what happens, no matter what we all go through, it's never too late to find a way to like ourselves."

I stared at her in surprise. That was probably the most I had ever heard her speak.

Zoe flounced into the room, mumbling about hospital appointment cards and urine samples. She looked up and saw both of us standing there. "Good, you're ready. The bus comes every few minutes, so we've plenty of time to get there early. You should eat before we leave."

I turned toward the door. "No time. We need to be in and out of there as quickly as possible so I can make it to my next shift at work." I had found part-time work in a cafe. It wasn't enough, but it would have to do.

I was terrified to tell my boss that I was pregnant. I had already dealt with the police, who had threatened to charge me with wasting their time and resources for making everyone think I had gone missing. I was slowly ticking boxes, preparing for a brand new fae-free life—except for the baby I still had no idea what to do with. Everyone kept encouraging me to embrace motherhood, but I was such a fuck-up that even the thought of having anything to do with influencing a child made me break out in hives.

"At this stage, it's very easy for your blood sugar to drop," Angela said.

"Come on," Zoe coaxed. "You must be hungry. Please?"

I smiled. "Maybe I'll eat something on the way, Ma."

Zoe looked happier. "Whatever. I'm looking forward to this. Sometimes you get to see the baby."

I sighed. "Really?"

"Yeah, it's not a big scan or anything, but it's something." She caught on to the look on my face and cleared her throat. "Um, we should get going."

"Good luck," Angela said.

I still hadn't reconciled myself with the fact I was pregnant. I couldn't accept it. It didn't seem right, and it didn't feel right, so I kept acting as though it wasn't happening. I couldn't escape the hospital appointment, though, not with Zoe around to remind me every five seconds.

We took a bus to the hospital. The place was packed with baby-bumps and children and awkward-looking men who stood along the walls as if they hoped to be forgotten. I sat in the queue next to Zoe. She held my hand for support, but I wasn't worried. I was unfeeling. I had swallowed any emotion I might have had. All of that practice had come in handy.

First, I saw a midwife and had go through my medical history, of which there was little. The questions about the father were awkward, mostly because of me. When she asked me if he was foreign, I stuttered for a moment. He was Irish, technically, but he was definitely foreign. And no, I didn't know if he had any history of seizures or heart conditions or anything about him really. He was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

By the time the midwife finished with me, I was wiped. But there was still a long way to go. In the bloods room, I almost fainted. That was kind of comical. I had been bitten by the fenris, shot with an arrow—twice—seen and felt the blood of the dying, and covered in other people's lifeblood. Yet I got weak at the sight of a needle piercing my vein.

The nurse joked with Zoe as she handed me a fizzy drink. She had seen it all before, apparently. "Drink up," she told me. "Don't want you falling on the floor when you leave here."

I did as she said and thought of the Miacha. They had truly cared. One had even congratulated me. Idiot me thought she meant something about having a king again, but they had known I was pregnant. No wonder they had been so horrified at me riding a horse like Dubh "in my condition." The things that made sense later... hindsight really was twenty-twenty.

The queue for the doctor was long. I wanted to scream as we approached. After all of the freedom of a journey in the Fae realm, there I was, stuck in a life of routine and ritual all over again. Two doors stood in front of our rows of seats. In one was the experienced doctor, the leader of the team. In the other was most likely a student. Some women waited longer for the main doctor, but I just wanted to get out of there.

Zoe started flipping through a book of baby names she pulled from her bag. "What about Minerva?"

"Are you freaking kidding me right now?"

She shrugged. "It was just a suggestion."

"No, I meant the book!"

She held it up. "I bought it for you."

"I'm so not ready for names, Zoe."

She mumbled something I didn't catch and turned the page. "Ooh, Morgan. I'm keeping that one. You can't have it."

I blew my fringe off my forehead.

"Your baby can't have the same initial as mine. How does Niamh sound?"

I sent a death stare her way until she took the hint and shut the up. When my turn came, I willingly stepped into the junior doctor's room. She wasn't Irish either, and somehow that was comforting. She spoke softly; I barely heard her when she asked me to lie on the table. She felt my abdomen with capable hands, measuring my womb, then she squirted clear jelly on my bare stomach. I wanted to curl up away from it, but she worked it all over.

"A scan?" Zoe couldn't hide her excitement.

The doctor smiled for the first time. "You won't see much, not at this stage."

She pulled the machine closer. It looked ancient, but something was happening on screen. She moved a white instrument all over my stomach, and the grainy picture moved with it.

I cleared my throat. "I, um, didn't know I was pregnant, and I—"

"Plenty of women drink or smoke before realising they're pregnant," she said, but she was frowning at the screen. "Most suffer no ill effects."

"No, I was more... adventurous. Like horse-riding, rock-climbing, stuff like that. I fell. Had some injuries."

Bomp, bomp, bomp! The loud, fast sound filled the room.

"What the hell is that?" I asked in a panic.

"The heartbeat," Zoe whispered in awe.

"Nice and strong." The doctor nodded as if satisfied. "How many weeks do you think you are?"

"I have no idea," I said truthfully.

"Hmm." She pointed at the screen. "See this movement here? It's the heart beating." She traced a line with her finger. "And this is your baby."

I stared at the screen, stunned. For the first time, I thought of the being inside of me as an actual baby. The heartbeat was hard and strong, never faltering.

"Wow," I said. "She's fighting for it."

"She?" The doctor sounded amused.

"It just came out," I said.

"Sometimes instincts are right. I'm confused by the dating. The measurements are off."

I raised my head a little. "Is she... I mean, is it okay? Is there something wrong?"

"Wrong?" She shook her head, but she was staring at the screen as if puzzled by something.

Zoe's hand in mine flinched, and I realised how tight I was holding it.

"Sorry," I whispered.

Zoe was mesmerized by the screen. I didn't blame her. It was all kinds of awesome.

I couldn't make out much, but that heartbeat said everything to me. The baby wanted to live. The kid deserved a chance, whether it was right for me and the rest of the world or not. And once I started thinking that, I couldn't go back. "I kind of... didn't think of her... it... as a baby before. More like... an alien. Or a parasite."

"Cara!" Zoe sounded horrified.

"That's normal." The doctor handed me some blue paper tissue to clean off the jelly. "It's kind of a miracle when you think about it. You created a person inside of you. Only you can provide for that person until they leave your body. And yes, they are a little parasitical. They will take the best from you, so make sure you're eating well. You look a little thin."

"She's been stressed," Zoe confided.

The doctor nodded. "No wonder. It's a shocking change to be in charge of your own body one moment and have to share it the next."

I bit down on my laughter. She had basically described Drake and Brendan.

She patted my arm. "But women do it every day. There are plenty of people out there who know exactly what you're going through." She gave my stomach one last glance before I covered myself. "Go back outside and make an appointment for a full scan. That's the one with the pictures. That's when it starts feeling real." She hesitated. "I'm going to recommend they bump you on the queue and give you an early scan. There's no reason to worry, but if, for whatever reason, we can't... see everything, we like to be more thorough."

I knew most people had to wait months for a scan, and the idea of an early one terrified me. Something was wrong.

Chapter Four

The following month, I woke up on the morning of the full scan after about two hours of restless sleep. Zoe surprised me with a tiny babygro that read, "I love Mum."

"Zoe," I chided, "it's too early to buy things."

"It's not bad luck if it's this small. It's just one thing. Hold it. It's so cute."

We took turns oohing and aahing over the clothing, wondering how anything could be so small.

"This is bizarre," I said. "I can't imagine having a baby. What if I break it?"

"So you're keeping it?"

I made a face. "I can't think of anything else to do. I made her. I'm responsible for her."

"Her?" She laughed. "That's what did it, seeing her on that screen and giving her a gender."

"I know." I rubbed my face. "It was different. Hearing the heartbeat was..."

"Scary, amazing, and a million other words that just aren't strong enough."

"I was going to say real. It's starting to sink in now."

She ran her fingers along the clothing laid cross her arm. "You know, I always expected to be first."

"What?"

"You know what I mean. I was with Darren for so long, and you were never interested in anyone for longer than a week. I just assumed I would do it first—be a mother, start a family. It's not like I was planning on it or anything. It's not like I want to do it right now. I just thought... it would be me."

"I'm sorry I took this from you."

She frowned. "You didn't take anything from me. You haven't even been here."

"I'm sorry about that, too. I should have been here for your breakup. I should have been around for you whenever you needed me. I left, and I didn't even warn you I was going. I don't know how you've forgiven me."

She gave a dry laugh. "Who says I've forgiven you? I'm just glad you're back. I've missed you."

"How have things been with you and your mam? You seem to be getting along better now."

She folded the babygro. "I think I understand her now. Either that or she's mellowed out. I dunno. The older I get, the less she annoys me. That's good, right?"

"That's great. I'm glad for you."

"Maybe it would be the same for you." She glanced away. "You never know."

"We should get going," I said. "I hear you have to wait for hours for the scan."

She gave me a pitying look, but she dropped the subject.

We went straight to the hospital. The waiting room was filled with lots of other people, but somebody must have fast tracked me because I skipped the queue. I only had to wait twenty minutes, despite hearing other people complain of being there for over an hour already.

Zoe squeezed my hand as we headed to the room. "That was lucky."

That meant bad news. I was sure of it. Something was off about my faery baby.

The sonologist kept smiling as she performed the scan. The image was clearer than last time. I could see the actual baby shape, along with legs and a head that looked way too large.

"Everything looks fine," the sonologist said, but she bit her lip.

"No wings?" I asked jokingly.

She chuckled. "Everything is in the right place. No extras. The baby is larger than I expected, though. Longer. I think there's been some confusion over your dates. Your obstetrician's team put you at about sixteen weeks pregnant by now, but I'm seeing more like twenty."

My stomach still looked pretty flat. But twenty weeks meant I could be halfway to becoming a mother for real. I would be in charge of a tiny infant who had no idea what the world had in store for them. I felt faint again.

"Just rest and close your eyes," the sonologist said soothingly. "I'll print out a few pictures for you, and you can head home and relax."

I squeezed my eyes shut. What if the baby really did grow wings? Drake had been six or so when he got his wings. His father had torn away his skin to reveal them. Oh, my God! I wanted to throw up. My child was related to Deorad. And Sadler! What if the kid grew up to be an evil genius?

"Um." I refused to open my eyes to see their expressions. "Is it possible for a baby to inherit things like... evilness? Or... um, a lack of morals? Even if they never met, say, their grandfather or..."

The silence was palpable. The nurse squeezed my shoulder. I looked up and saw pity in her eyes.

"Your baby is going to be fine," she said. "Nobody can predict his or her personality, but there's nothing that says a child will carry 'evil' genes. Stop worrying. Have you been throwing up a lot?"

I shrugged. "A little."

"Have they told you to take a multi-vitamin yet? Take one that's specifically for pregnancy. If it doesn't have iron, take one for that separately. Don't overdo it; they can be sickening. Trust me, I went through this two years ago. You're quite thin, and the baby will take, take, take from you. The baby will be fine, but you need to take care of you, too."

"I'll force-feed her if I have to," Zoe said determinedly.

I laughed. Maybe things would be okay. When I looked at the perfectly ordinary scan photos, I didn't know how they could be anything but okay. And when we headed back to Zoe's house, I finally let her show me the baby name book she had bought weeks ago.

I was doing it. I was going to have a baby.

***

My dream that night terrified me. I was heavily pregnant and walking barefoot through a field. The air was hazy, and the child kept moving in my belly. I didn't feel it, but I saw my stomach bulging in various places.

The sky darkened completely. I could barely see a foot in front of me. In fact, the only light came from Drake's wings as he approached me. They gleamed, making his eyes look terrifying.

I reached out to embrace him, but he pushed my arms away as if I didn't matter. He nodded at someone, and strong arms gripped me around the chest. I was suddenly looking up at the sky without having realised I'd fallen. Arlen and Líle had pinned me to the grass, and a knife flashed in Drake's hand.

I screamed as he cut open my dress, revealing a swollen stomach that looked like something out of Alien. My skin crawled, and I cried out in terror. Then the knife's edge touched my skin. Blood gushed. I felt no pain, only loss.

Drake stuck his hands into my belly. I watched as if viewing a video. A huge wing erupted from my stomach. I shook my head. That wasn't how it was supposed to happen. He pulled on the wing, and a girl child was attached. She was larger than a toddler and fighting back fiercely. She clawed his face, leaving red lines in the wake of her nails.

He slapped her, and I kicked him. He growled, but he wasn't Drake any longer. He was the monster under the bed, the one who had crawled out and scared me night after night. I waited for a cat's yowl, for someone to come and save us.

I called for my friends, but they didn't answer. Tunnellers appeared, crawling all over me, dipping their hands into my empty womb and squeezing. They were killing me, but not quickly enough.

The monster under the bed threw back his head and opened his mouth wide. A scream filled the air. I didn't know if it was mine or the child's. Then there was a crunch as a dark thing with red eyes devoured the monster. It gathered my baby, my child, in its arms and left me laying there with nothing.

The fae had taken my child, just as they would in real life.

Chapter Five

I awoke screaming. Zoe was shaking. I grabbed her arms, staring at her for a moment before realising I was safe. I was in the human realm. I still had a tiny bump, still had the child growing inside me. But the dream was a portent. It would happen, one way or another. There was no escaping the fae.

"You kept screaming." Zoe's face was tear-stained. "I didn't know what to do."

"They're going to come for the baby, Zoe. I can't escape them. No matter what I do, they'll find her. He only sent me away. He didn't know about the baby."

"Cara, calm down. It was a pregnancy thing. A dream. A nightmare. I read about it in a pregnancy book. This happens. It's normal, but it's just a dream. Nobody's going to take this baby."

"They will. I'm not strong enough to protect her. They'll take her from me as soon as I'm not looking."

She brushed the hair from my face. "Are you talking about Drake's family? Are you scared of them?"

I exhaled loudly. "Something like that. I have to find them before they find us. Otherwise there's nobody to protect her but me." And I wasn't enough.

"You're scared and stressed. That's all this is. Nobody's going to take this baby. There are laws, and you'll have me to help you. Please stop getting yourself so worked up. I hate seeing you like this."

I sat up, wiped the tears from my face, and looked her in the eye. "If there was ever a time for you to believe me, no matter how crazy I sound, it's now. I was gone for about a month, not a year. I was in a different place. Drake and everyone else you met are faeries."

"Oh, Cara. I know you have a thing about faeries, but—"

"Just listen, okay? Let me get it all out, and just pretend that it makes sense. Open your mind for a few minutes. I want to explain everything, and you need to not interrupt me, or I might never try again."

After a moment, she whispered, "Okay. I'm listening."

"That first night I met Drake, we almost died together. I was led into the park by magic then to an underground party. Lots of faeries died that night, but I was saved, and Drake was stuck underground still. Later, he came to me, except it wasn't him; it was Brendan. Brendan shared Drake's body for a while. That's who was at my birthday. That's why I'm so confused about how I feel. I had to be a witness for Brendan to become king again. But the demi-goddesses interfered, and Drake was saved, and Brendan was sent to the Fade. It's kind of like purgatory, and it's where he was before he joined Drake's body." I waved my hands. "It's all a big thing. So I went on a journey to the Fade to save Brendan. We did it. We saved him. But when it was over, Drake, who is also now a king, sent me away."

Zoe stared at me for a second. "Okay, even if I believed in faeries, that still wouldn't make sense."

"Zoe, I swear it's true. Look at me. I swear."

Her face fell. "You honestly believe this."

"I do, and I need to find him again, or the fae will come for this baby and take her with them. They came for me when I was a kid, but a cat saved me, and—"

"A cat?"

"Jesus, I know I sound like a crazy person, but I'm terrified for this baby. Brendan owes me a favour. If I can just find him, then maybe he'll protect the baby before it's too late."

"Okay," she said.

"Okay?"

"We'll find this Brendan person and see what happens."

"You believe me?"

"Oh, hell no. But I'm not letting you wander around alone. Something is obviously going on with you, and I'm going to be right by your side while you figure it out."

I stared at her for a long time.

She shrugged. "So where does he live?"

"Uh, in the faery realm?"

"And we get there how?"

"Zoe, I'm not delusional."

"Cool. Prove it to me. Show me the faery realm."

"You can't see it. You're human."

She folded her arms. "And so are you."

"I know, but my ancestry is... complicated, and I'm carrying a half-faery baby, so that counts double... I think. You really want to come with me?"

"Absolutely."

I leaned back. "What if I disappear in front of your eyes?"

"Then I'll know you're not insane."

"You're freaking me out here."

She snorted. "I'm freaking you out? Have you heard the words coming out of your mouth?"

I covered my face. "I know how it sounds."

"Well, that's a good sign. Get some sleep, and tomorrow, we'll figure out how to find your friend." She lay down and snuggled under the covers.

"I love you, Zo."

"Love you, too. Now go to sleep, you header."

I lay awake for a long time after she started snoring again. She had been so good to me. She had taken care of me like a true friend when everyone else turned their backs on me. I could always rely on her.

But I would bring danger her way. Someday, the fae would be drawn to my child, and the worst kinds would come to take it from me. Zoe would get caught up in the middle of it all.

I knew what I had to do. I had to find a bigger, stronger, more powerful fae to protect my child. Drake had sent me away, but the others hadn't. And if I found them before by travelling on the leylines, maybe I could do it again. Maybe that's what I had to do to earn my place with the fae again.

I couldn't stay in the human realm with a faery baby and no connections, no protection. I couldn't stop the fae from being attracted to the emotions of a new child descended from a leanan sídhe. If I was going to be a mother, then I had to do it right, whatever the cost.

I was still owed a favour from a different king. Brendan owed me. I had helped him escape from the Fade. A life-debt had to be worth more than a king's demand. It had to counteract Drake's magic. That was what I had to count on.

I had to leave Zoe behind, follow the leylines, and beg for Brendan's protection. He had to care enough to do it. He couldn't have forgotten already. Soon, my baby would be a target, and until then, I would do whatever I needed to protect her forever.

I fell asleep while still making plans. Zoe would never believe in my story, and I had to try to shrug her off for her sake.

But she was the one who woke me early the next morning.

"What's going on?" I muttered, pulling the cover over my head.

"We're going to find your friend," she said impatiently.

I sat up. "I can go alone."

"I don't think so." She placed her hands on her hips. "It's either go with me, or you stay here."

"You're going to freak out if I find anything."

"Either I convince you that you're having a mental breakdown, or you prove you're telling the truth. It's a win-win situation, my friend. Now get up so we can get this over and done with."

I stared at her. "I can't tell if you're a great friend or a terrible one."

She smiled. "You know the answer to that already."

As I dressed, I wondered what I had ever done to deserve her. I stepped into the kitchen, ready to go.

"We're going to spend the day together," Zoe was telling Angela. She looked at me and winked. "Relishing her last bit of freedom."

Angela smiled. "Have a good time, but don't do anything crazy."

Zoe giggled. "Us? Crazy? Never!"

After a quick breakfast, we left the house. I had no idea where I was going. I had taken my vitamins and some clothes with me, but I didn't know what else I would need. I always had the dagger that still bore the marks of fenris blood.

"So," Zoe said, linking my arm with hers, "where to?"

"No idea." I frowned. "Maybe I'll start where they left me."

"Good plan."

I glanced at her. "This might take a while."

"I have time." She shrugged. "For you."

"You're amazing."

"Yeah, we know."

Smiling, I led her to a bus stop that would hopefully take us near to Brendan's old home. I had no idea if it even existed still. I tried to picture how to get there, but the image was cloudy and incomplete, so I decided the place Drake had left me would be close enough. If I had gotten through the Black Marshes with my eyes closed, then surely I could find a leyline of some kind in the human realm.

When we got off the bus, Zoe was still in good form, but I couldn't concentrate. I slipped a hand into my pocket to touch the dagger. It helped me focus. Hours passed, but I didn't stop moving, didn't hesitate.

Then, I caught the scent of flowers in the air. Soon after that, I felt a faint rumble under my feet. Magic. The trace was weak, but I put everything into concentrating on it. I followed the line of magic as it grew stronger and stronger. I hoped someone would see me and take me to Brendan, but I eventually realised that Drake could have easily made the blindness work both ways. I had to find a powerful piece of magic and hope that someone would hear my pleas.

"We're in the middle of nowhere," Zoe said, sounding uneasy.

"We're almost there," I said, feeling hopeful. "I think we're close."

Chapter Six

My feet ached. I had turned right back into the weakling human the fae expected me to be. But when I squeezed Zoe's hand, I felt stronger. I was on the right path, and soon, my best friend would understand that I wasn't lying to her, that there really was another world out there.

"So you kind of have the same delusion as that professor," she said, breaking my concentration.

"Ronnie?" I sighed. "Not exactly. Drake's father took her when she was young and sent her back fucked up and pregnant. The baby died, but she thought he stole it. She stabbed him in front of us."

"That's... kind of specific. Are you feeling okay? Not thinking that I'm some scary faery trying to kill you and steal your baby, right?"

I gave her a sharp look. "You remember my birthday? How that night was?"

"Crazy? Yeah, I remember." Her face reddened. "It was a strange night."

"We were surrounded by faeries. That's probably what was wrong with Darren, too. Sorry. But without a king, the fae kind of ran wild, and everything got a little nuts."

"If you say so."

I wished I could make her aware of the danger, then she would know to avoid the potential danger growing inside me. The baby could turn out like me and exaggerate everyone's feelings. Between the two of us, our home would be a beacon calling fae from every direction. The baby could turn out like Drake, wings and all. Worse, she could end up like her grandfather or great-grandfather, or even my father. There were so many bad influences in her life that I wasn't even sure where to begin.

The power underfoot had already led me away from the main streets of Dublin. In my bag, I had stuffed my riding suit, boots, and the torn cloak the Watcher's wife had given me. I had hidden them from Zoe when she wanted to throw them away.

"Maybe you should turn back," I said. "Just in case."

"I'm in this with you. All the way."

"Auntie Zoe," I teased.

"I love that," she admitted. "It sounds freaking amazing."

I rubbed the bump that seemed to grow a little bigger every day. Sometimes I imagined I felt a little fluttering. I wondered if every woman felt the same, or if it might be the brush of wings inside. But surely wings would show up on a scan. Or maybe humans were blind to things like that. I had no idea. Besides, my baby was just as much human as fae, if not more. My brother hadn't even had a trace of fae in his blood. Drake's mother had been human. Deorad's mother had been human. If I was lucky, human would outweigh fae, and I would get to live a life of peace with my baby.

My baby. I wasn't sure when exactly I had started to think in those terms, when the feeling of fear had made way for excitement. I wanted to meet my child, wanted to know her. I wanted her to live. And that was why I had to keep walking and following the power.

I wished I knew Brendan's full name. Drake had blinded me to the fae by using my name to bind me. Brendan's name might have earned me an appearance—or the claim of a life debt. Words had true power in the fae realm. The Wall of Spirits had required a specific line. I couldn't even remember what that was. Why hadn't I paid more attention? Why hadn't I prepared myself for the possibility that Drake would set me aside?

Maybe the baby will change things. Maybe he'll be willing to try when there's another reason for it. I moved more quickly, my heart soaring. The fae would welcome me with open arms. I just knew it. And when they did, everything would go back to the way it was. I would be treated like a friend, and my baby would be treated like... the child of a king. I let my imagination run wild. Every kid wanted to be special. Maybe mine really would be.

The trail led me to a dead end. No more power. It was cut off, as if it had been sucked away. Or maybe I was blind to that, too. But no, I was the person who'd led everyone through the marshlands. I had travelled from the Darkside to the Great Forest alone.

"Cara," Zoe said gently, "maybe we should head back now. We've been wandering around here for ages."

"I know, but I'm really close." I hated lying to her, but I didn't want to quit.

I found weak paths of magic only to lose them again. I just needed to concentrate, to trust in myself. Stopping and closing my eyes, I sucked in a breath and could have sworn I smelled the flowers from Brighid's garden. I opened my eyes, almost certain I would see the arch again, but I was standing in the middle of an empty field. But the tremble of magic increased, and I knew I was on the right track. Something important was nearby, some source of power so great, I could barely stand to walk upon it.

Zoe shivered. "This place is creepy."

The wind blew harder the farther I walked. I heard whispers. They were likely just leaves rustling in the trees, but I imagined fae voices.

"Hello?" I called out. "Is anyone there? I'm looking for Brendan. He owes me a debt."

Nothing. The wind died down.

"Cara, there's nobody here."

"Just wait. You said you were going to do this with me, so let me do it. Please."

She nodded. "Fine. Carry on wandering around in circles. I'm all in."

I followed the leyline, frustrated. What if he didn't show? What if nobody did? I came to an abandoned house and almost cried with relief. On the rusty front gate, a white flower and a black rose had been entwined.

"Wait," Zoe said. "Are these people squatters?"

Ignoring her, I gripped the gate, brushing my fingers across the flowers.

"I'm here to claim a life debt from King Brendan," I called out. "Bring me to him. I need protection for... for a baby. He swore to—"

A gust of wind blasted me the face. I closed my eyes, struggling to breathe. I heard the tinkling of laughter, a harmony of three. I opened my eyes slowly, half-afraid of seeing the priestesses again. I stood in a lush garden, facing a timid-looking faery. I turned to Zoe. She was gone. That was kind of a relief. I hoped she didn't completely freak out, though.

"You are owed a boon." The faery made a sweeping bow. "A carriage awaits you." He peeked up at me. "You mentioned a child."

"It's with me." I wondered why I'd said it that way.

But the faery nodded and motioned for me to follow. A small carriage, only big enough for two, was parked nearby. The dappled grey horse stamped its feet as if eager to leave. The faery held open the door and helped me inside. The interior was small but comfortable.

The faery sat next to me and clicked his fingers. The carriage began to move. A huge sense of relief lifted a weight off my shoulders. Everything was going to be okay.

"I'm afraid you've come at a bad time." The faery seemed nervous.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"War councils, meetings, feasts... oh, everything. The advisor and his... lady friend are off charming the wild tribes. The king refuses to keep his bodyguard with him at all times, and there have been so many disagreements."

I nodded as if I knew what he was talking about. "Um, war councils?"

He nodded. "That's the way when there are three kings, you see. Two against one until a better offer comes along. Except none of the three can agree. They all want to make peace with a different court. It's bordering on ridiculous now." He covered his mouth. "I've said too much. Please don't—"

"It's fine. So there hasn't actually been a war yet?"

"Not yet. The Dark Court moves against the Green and pleads for peace with the Silver. The Silver Court wants to destroy the Dark Court and refuses to ally with the Green until they move to attack. The Green Court begs for peace with both. When the war begins—if it ever does—there will be hell to pay."

"So there's no Seelie and Unseelie?" I asked, confused.

"The courts have adopted new titles. What was once Seelie is now Green, Unseelie, Silver." He frowned. "And the newly created Chaos Court also goes by the Dark Court in honour of its... location."

"That makes sense," I muttered. "Has the Darkside expanded?"

"Expanded?" He snorted. "That's a rumour spread by the Chaos king, as if his little plague could chew up the entire realm."

I leaned back and rubbed my stomach. I had felt definite flutters since reaching the faery realm, almost as if the baby knew where we were. I caught the faery staring at my belly, and I pulled my bag into my lap.

"Will you be staying long?" he asked.

"Just long enough. Brendan knows I'm coming, right?"

"I have no idea. I was sent here. That's all I know. This is my job. I'm not sure if I should be telling you any more than that."

"That's fine." I would hear the rest from Brendan sometime soon. I started to close my eyes then realized I hadn't checked for green. I whipped the dagger from my bag and held it to the faery's neck. "Have you sworn fealty to Brendan?"

The faery shook with fright. "I take no part in any of... please, I was just led here. We bring travellers home. A traveller was supposed to be here tonight. I heard you calling for King Brendan, talking about a life debt. It was you I came for. I'm meant to bring you to him."

"So you weren't actually told by Brendan to come and bring someone home."

"That isn't how it works." He held very still. "We're in the Green Court's territory. We'll arrive any minute now. You'll see."

"Where exactly are we going?"

"To the king's castle," he said, still trembling. "To his family home."

I kept the knife on his neck until we reached the castle and I saw green flags waving from the towers.

"Sorry." I lowered the weapon. "A girl has to be careful when she accepts a lift from a stranger."

"Of course," he wheezed. "I'm sure that's very clever."

"So what now?"

"We get out of the carriage, and I take you to your final destination. Unless... unless you're unwilling. I'm sure I can find someone else to take you. I mean... I—"

"You'll do fine," I said. "Just give me a sec." I pulled the cloak out of my bag, wrapped it around me, and pulled up the hood.

"Very, uh, nice," the faery said.

I followed him out of the carriage. "Seriously, I'm sorry for scaring you. I just didn't want to end up in Sadler's house."

He bit his lip as though working up the courage to say something.

"What?" I asked.

"You're the one, aren't you?" he whispered. "The one who led the second king to the Fade to rescue the first."

"Come on," I said with a smile. "Let's get this over with."

I had no idea what to expect, but a huge ivy-covered castle wasn't it. I stared in shock at Brendan's new home. The castle had to be ancient yet it appeared to be in perfect condition, like something out of a fairy tale. Green flags flew from rounded turrets atop the many-storied structure. The place was broad and secure, kind of like a pretty fortress. We were in a cobblestoned courtyard surrounded by smaller buildings that ran on either side of the main one. All around us, faeries rushed about while soldiers marched in time.

"There's magic over us because we don't have time to deal with the guards," the faery said firmly, taking charge again. "But I always know where the open doors are, so if you'll follow me, we'll find the king right away."

There was a loud commotion as a bunch of carriages reached the front gate. I hurried after the faery. I wanted to see Brendan without ceremony first. I wanted to judge his reaction and to tell him in my own time what I needed from him. He was the one who owed me; he was the only one powerful enough to go against Drake's magic. Unless Sadler could. I really hoped he couldn't.

I followed the faery into a side entrance. We ran through a kitchen, narrowly avoiding a collision into a tall man carrying a huge tray of food. Pixies and other faeries worked frantically. Something big was happening. My guide hurried down corridor after corridor without hesitation.

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" I whispered.

The faery gave me a disparaging look then came to a stop before a huge door. He bowed. "In here." Before I could even thank him, he was gone.

I pushed open the door and entered a large study. A fire crackled in the fireplace, and an open book lay on the desk, but I didn't see anyone. Frowning, I looked around. I heard a step behind me and whirled to confront whoever had sneaked up on me, but strong arms came around my body. One hand pressed against my mouth, the other held a knife to my neck. That probably served me right for threatening the faery in the carriage.

The person spun me around to face him. I stared at Brendan and watched the anger in his green eyes turn to shock.

He let me go. "Cara?"

"Hey," I said shakily. "I kind of called in a favour and ended up here."

"Called in a... what's going on? How did you get here? I couldn't—"

"I followed the leylines and said I needed you to repay a life debt."

"A life debt? Are you in danger?"

"Not yet." I winced. "I kind of came back from the faery realm a little different."

"Different? In what way?" He looked so confused that I was dying to laugh, but there was nothing funny about it.

"I'm pregnant, Brendan." I slipped the cloak off my shoulders and pointed at my stomach. "I need protection for her."

"He impregnated you on the way to the Fade? You actually found time for that?"

"Brendan! It happened before. That night... you know?"

The colour drained from his face. "This changes... so much."

"I know." I felt supremely awkward. His soul had been in Drake's body when it happened. He hadn't been aware, but still... icky. And complicated. And probably the real reason why Bekind had decided I could rescue him from the Fade. I made a mental note to kill Bekind next time I saw her.

"And now you're here." He didn't look pleased.

I shifted from foot to foot. "I'm sorry to bother you when you're so busy and all, but I had nowhere else to go. The fae came for me when I was a kid. Bekind stopped them, but my baby doesn't have anyone to protect her."

"Her?"

"Her, him, whatever. It doesn't matter to me. What matters is the target on her back when she's born. I can't protect her from everyone, but I thought maybe... maybe you could."

"Cara, I—"

A door opened at the other end of the room. "Sire, the queen has arrived." Brendan's body blocked my view so I couldn't see who spoke.

"Queen?" I frowned. "You got married? Already? To whom?"

"This isn't the place to talk. I'll explain everything later, when we have time."

A familiar cackle made me freeze.

"Oh, not again. I thought we had gotten rid of her," Sorcha said. She had apparently come through the same door behind Brendan.

"And look," Nella sneered. "It's multiplying."

I leaned to the side to look at the two women. I wondered which one was the queen.

Brendan moved to stand in front of me again. "Go."

"The entire party is here," the same servant announced, and more footsteps entered the room.

I stepped around Brendan and saw Drake walk over to Sorcha and take her arm. His head was lowered, so I couldn't see his face. Dymphna entered the room behind them, but I couldn't stop looking at Drake and Sorcha, who I noticed had a wedding ring on her finger. He had married her? I wanted to throw up.

"I'll be right back," Brendan said.

"Oh, no," Sorcha said. "Invite her to dinner. I'm sure we've lots to catch up on."

By the smirk on her face, she was unsurprised by my presence and probably by the reason behind it. Drake finally looked up and saw me. His gaze went down to my stomach, but he didn't react at all. Nothing. Not even a twitch.

"Make yourselves comfortable," Brendan said sharply. "I need to see to my guest." He took my arm in a firm grip and led me out of the room, slamming the door behind us. "I'm so sorry. That's not how I wanted you to find out."

"He married her," I whispered, unsure if I wanted to cry or hit something.

"It's political. He made deals. He needed help, allies, and she wanted a crown. He didn't know you would come back."

"He doesn't care. He doesn't care about anything but power."

Brendan snapped his fingers. A faery came out of the shadows and approached us.

"Bring her to my Second. Let them take care of her." He turned to me. "Cara, I need to have this meeting. We can speak later. We'll figure it out."

"Whatever," I said numbly. "I don't care about anything right now."

"Don't say that." He gave me a pitying look. "This is such a strange night for you to arrive."

"Can you help me?" I put a hand on my abdomen. "Can you protect her?"

He glanced back at the closed door, and his expression hardened. He took my hands. "I owe you a life-debt, Cara Kelly. I swear to you that I will do anything in my power to protect your child. Do you trust me?"

I nodded. He was about the only one I could trust, the only one who seemed to care.

"Then let me do what I can. Tonight, come to the dinner. We can talk before then, but come to the dinner and put on a brave face. Don't let her see she has cut you. And then I'll let the entire court know that your child is protected. Do you understand me? You'll get what you came for. We'll discuss the details later."

"Fine." I wrapped my arms around him. "I'm going to be a mother, Brendan. I just want her to grow up safe."

"I'm sure that's what every parent feels."

He didn't say it wasn't normal for a fae parent or that I might lose my mind before the child was born. He didn't fill my head with doubts or fears. He stood tall, looked confident, and promised me I had his help.

The faery led me away to the stairs. All the way up, I pictured Drake's arm around Sorcha, saw them huddled together over fires on our journey to the Fade. He had known all along what he was going to do. He had kissed me, said he cared. He had said he loved me, and the entire time, he had been planning his wedding to someone else. My heart hardened. I needed to be tough to make sure my child never felt such pain.

Chapter Seven

I was led up two flights of stairs and down a long hallway decorated with vases full of black roses. The lack of a white flower felt like a bad omen. We stopped at the last door. Brendan's servant raised his arm and knocked sharply on the wood.

The door swung open to reveal a shirtless Arlen. He was Brendan's Second? I looked everywhere but right at him, mortified and afraid that he was still angry with me.

"What do you want?" he snapped, then he sucked in a sharp breath. "Cara? Is that you?"

Something blue and bronze flew past him and almost toppled me over.

"You're to care for it," the servant said. "By order of the king." The servant bowed and walked away.

I wasn't even offended by being called "it." I was too busy making sure Anya was real and alive. "I've been so worried," I told her.

She brushed tears from my cheeks, half-laughing, half-crying. "She says she's been worried," she told Arlen with a snort. "How does she think I've been feeling?"

I hung my head. "He sent me away. He didn't want me here."

"Come in." Arlen shepherded us into the room. "Staff talk too much in times like these."

I walked into a massive suite of rooms—definitely not the living quarters of servants or slaves.

"Holy shit," I said. "This is as big as my house."

The corners of Arlen's mouth twitched. "Not quite."

"Do you still hate me?" The last time I had seen them, Anya had been close to death, and Arlen had been pretty damn angry with me.

"Not quite," he repeated, but he gave me a small smile. From him, that was like a bear hug.

"So you're Brendan's Second," I said. "What does that mean?"

"Second-in-command," Anya said. "The voice of the king. Arlen is untouchable."

Arlen slipped an arm around her shoulders. "Not even kings are untouchable."

"Brendan gave us these quarters when we returned." She glanced at Arlen. "And he gave us permission to... follow our hearts."

"Well." The bedroom door was open. I felt uncomfortable, given the messed-up sheets and the fact that Anya's hair was in disarray. "Maybe I should go somewhere else while you do... um, that."

"No, no. We've a lot to catch up on," she said. "Arlen, pour her a drink. She looks so pale."

"Just water," I said. "I can't drink anything stronger."

Anya gave me a quizzical look.

I dropped into a chair and stared at my hands. "The thing is... I found a way back because I need Brendan's help."

"Did something happen?" Arlen asked. "Were you attacked in the human realm?"

"How could that be?" Anya asked. "He made us blind to her, too. The bastard."

I looked at her, surprised by the vehemence in her tone.

"I haven't forgiven him," she said unashamedly. "Not for a lot of things."

"Yeah," I said. "I met his wife."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"That's not very important right now."

"Who attacked you?" Arlen demanded.

"Nobody. It's who might attack somebody else." I rubbed the back of my neck, embarrassed. Telling them made me feel ashamed, and I couldn't quite figure out why. I wasn't the first person in the world to be careless, but it seemed like a stupid problem to add to a realm in danger of war.

"Cara," Anya said. "Tell me. You're scaring me. Are you sick?"

I shook my head. "I'm having a baby." I looked from one to the other. Both of their jaws dropped. My cheeks burned. "And it's his baby, so I figured I might be safe, but it looks like a lot has changed."

"Are you serious?" Arlen demanded.

I stood and showed off the little bump that I was actually pretty proud of.

"All this time?" he asked. "Even in the Fade?"

I gasped. "Do you think the Fade did something to the baby?"

"That's not what I meant." He slapped me on the shoulder. "You will be the stuff of legend someday, Cara Kelly."

Anya wrapped her slim arms around me. "Congratulations. I know that's not... but still, it's... how do you feel?"

"Terrified. I didn't know what to do when I found out. I didn't want to have the baby at all. You know how it goes. Faery and human blood, a drop of leanan sídhe for good measure. It's not the thing dreams are made of. But then I saw the baby, and I fell in love."

"You saw the baby?" Anya asked, puzzled.

I pulled the scan photo out of my bag. "See? This is the heart. You should have heard it. So bloody strong. In the hospital, the nurses said the baby was perfectly healthy, but I got the feeling some things weren't quite the same as human babies. And then I remembered when the fae came for me. They'll come for her, too, someday. Brendan swore he owed me a favour. I came to collect. A carriage showed up and brought me here."

Anya snatched the photo out of my hands to stare at it. "So Brendan knows?"

"I think pretty much everyone knows. When I was telling Brendan, Sorcha and Nella walked in, closely followed by Drake."

"What did they say?" Anya asked. "I mean, was Drake upset? Was Sorcha upset?"

"She already knew. He said nothing. He did nothing. He didn't react at all, really."

The pair exchanged a glance.

I shrugged. "Brendan said he'd do what he can for the child."

Anya's eyebrows furrowed. "And Drake does nothing."

"It doesn't matter," I said. "I don't need him. Brendan promised to help, and I trust him. He invited me to dinner tonight, too."

"Oh, no," Anya said. "We'll eat here. There's no way he can expect you to—"

"I'm going," I said as firmly as I could manage with a shaky voice. "Drake blanked me, utterly and completely, didn't even acknowledge the fact I was there, never mind that I'm pregnant. So I'm going to sit at that table and force him to notice."

Arlen cleared his throat. "This dinner isn't really the place to—"

I glared at him. "Are you going to stop me?"

"No. But I don't think it's good for you to dwell on the things we can't change." He exchanged another glance with Anya. "And it will be hard for you to sit and watch him with his wife."

"I'm not going to let him forget this baby," I said. "I don't care if that's weak, or if you think I'll embarrass myself. I owe her this much."

"I'll organise a dress if you're sure you want to go." Anya reluctantly returned the scan photo. "We'll send for help shortly. We have plenty of time."

"But what's going on around here?" I asked. "I heard talk of war councils and three courts all wanting different things. What's happened?"

Anya made a face. "What hasn't happened?"

"It has been eventful," Arlen said. "When you left, Drake told us we wouldn't be able to find you. Brendan didn't hesitate to sort out his throne and establish his court. He's aiming for peace. Sadler calls his court the Court of Chaos. He wants to join forces with Drake and get rid of Brendan. Drake wants an alliance with Brendan to destroy Sadler. Brendan is determined to prevent a war. It's a mess." He sighed and took a seat then pulled Anya onto his lap. "It's no use. No matter how many councils he calls, Sadler is as stubborn as Drake. Drake will talk, but Sadler won't show up. It's been a disaster."

"But there won't be war between Drake and Brendan, right?"

Arlen shrugged. "Who knows? With the banshee whispering in Drake's ear, anything can happen."

"And the daoine sídhe are divided," Anya added. "Dymphna stayed with Drake, along with some of her kin, but others stand beside Brendan. There's no telling how that will resolve itself. Even the banshees are unsettled by how everything has played out."

"And Líle?" I asked. "Grim, Realtín, and Bekind? Did they all make it back?"

"Everyone returned. Líle... regained her health," Arlen said.

His slight hesitation worried me. "What's wrong?"

"She's with Drake. She's not completely the same. The effects of the trip have worn on her." Anya sighed. "She doesn't talk to us anymore."

"And the others?"

"The leanan sídhe has been busy trying to persuade Drake to destroy his grandfather. Bekind has followed her. Nella was supposed to release Bekind, but she's making her wait," Anya said.

"Grim and Realtín are well," Arlen added. "Grim is an advisor to Brendan. He and Realtín are currently travelling as ambassadors. Most of the realm is divided over who to support. It's Grim's job to be persuasive."

"And the fact that Brendan sent a free brownie and a sprite speaks volumes about this court," Anya said.

I liked that. I just hoped they were safe on their travels. "And the Darksiders are sticking together, I take it?"

"That's true," Arlen said. "But if enough fae wish for peace, something might come of his work. More likely, Sadler will wait until he can't any longer, then he'll force a war."

"What's he waiting for?" I asked.

"His grandson," Arlen said. "He badly wants Drake. For what reason? Who knows?"

A knock at the door interrupted us.

Arlen answered, pulling on a shirt. "I have to go downstairs," he said over his shoulder. "I'll send up someone to organise the clothes and... whatever." He returned to kiss Anya's cheek. "Looks like we're wanted for dinner after all."

"I don't mind," she said with a smile.

When he left us, I turned to Anya, feeling giddy. "What the hell? First, you never even told me you were in love with Arlen, and second... wow! I mean, he's smiling because of you."

"I know," she said, grinning. "We're getting married. I know that sounds sudden to you, given that we weren't even allowed to acknowledge each other for a long time."

"You never know when things are going to change. Marriage, though. That's pretty freaking grown up where I come from." I patted my stomach. "Then again, so is this."

"I can't believe you were growing a child inside of you on our journey. When I think of the things we did." She gasped. "The fenris, the fighting, and Brendan told us about you falling off a horse. Cara, you must have the luck of the gods to still live to tell the tale."

I made a face. "Sometimes I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing."

"He doesn't love her. It's not a love match by any stretch of the imagination."

"It doesn't matter. He didn't act like someone who was going to be married. As soon as it was all over, he pushed me out of sight. All to marry a banshee. Some deal they must have made."

"Are you angry?"

I stared at the fire, watching the flames lick upward as if trying to escape. "I'm heartbroken," I whispered. "This child will never know him. Sorcha will see to that. She knew all along. No wonder she made her deals."

"It wouldn't surprise me. So much has changed. Our little family is shattered and broken. All because you weren't here."

I shook my head. "Nobody needs me for anything."

"You didn't see how it was, everyone deciding which king to align with. It hurts me that Líle went to Drake. All she wants is war. She was never that person before. I don't know where she lost her way or if she still believes in the Mother."

"It's my fault," I said. "I went on that journey, and she was forced to go along. She bore the brunt of it, apart from you. Was it bad?"

"The Miacha helped me. Dubh brought us there, and they cared for me. I barely remember the first few days. I have scars, but nothing was so badly damaged inside that it couldn't heal." She glanced at my stomach. "Except for one thing..."

I waited for her to finish, then I realised. "Anya, I'm so sorry."

"It's the way it's meant to be," she said. "Maybe I'm meant to help you with your baby. Maybe a life for my child would be too hard to bear. I'm not going to mope about it. I'm just sad for Arlen that he doesn't get to teach a son."

"He'll get to teach Brendan's son someday," I said, then I immediately regretted the words. "And he looks happier than I've ever seen him. I don't think he cares as long as he has you."

She smiled. "I know that's true, but sometimes I hurt for him."

A knock at the door startled us both.

"That must be for us. It's a life of luxury in this castle, Cara. Mark my words. You'll love it."

Less than an hour later, we were relaxing in the baths. It was good to be back in the faery realm. I was startled to realise it felt more like home to me than the human realm ever did. And it could be my child's home someday.

"Do you think something weird will happen with the baby?" I asked. "Because of the whole faery/human mix thing. I mean, do people like me have normal births?"

"I think so. I have rarely heard of problems."

"But you have midwives."

She clapped her hands. "I can be your midwife! I've done it before, once, and I can learn more about it."

I watched the girls pour fresh water into our baths.

"None of them are pixies," I observed.

"I couldn't let them wait on me." For a second, she looked hurt. "They wouldn't stand for it anyway. I would be found under the water, drowned. That's the way it is."

"Who's really in charge?" I asked. "Sorcha or Drake?"

"I wish I knew. Arlen said Drake's changed, that he's like a statue, listening to everything and only speaking when he has to. It must be hell on earth to live with her."

"Was there a big wedding?"

"A brief ceremony. That was unusual. Traditionally, when a royal wedding is held, all royals and pure-blooded faeries in the land are automatically invited. It was less of a celebration than a business transaction. Sadler wasn't there, though. And it's strange because we heard he isn't the same man anymore, not so old and frail."

"What do you mean? He looked like he was on his deathbed when I last saw him."

"He's different now. There's no hope of him passing away quietly of old age, we hear. Apparently, he looks younger, walks easily, and he's strong. There are rumours that his court is so powerful, it regenerated him. That can't be true, but still, he's a new man."

"That's weird."

"It is. Anyhow, Drake had a small wedding, but he didn't show up to the feast, and it was cut short after that."

"Looks like you and Arlen are the only happy people in the realm."

She laughed. "Grim and Realtín seem quite happy, too. They miss you, though. I wonder if they've heard. Realtín will force Grim to return if she knows you're back. They were angry with Drake, too. He tried to talk to them, but they aligned themselves with Brendan, partly out of spite."

"I can't see Grim being spiteful."

"No, that's true. It was Realtín who did it out of spite." She laughed. "That's our sprite. But Grim? You should have seen his face. He said Drake wasn't the man we all thought him to be. He said it in front of everyone. Drake hasn't really been showing any emotion lately, but his face fell when Grim dismissed him. I almost pitied him for a moment."

"And Brendan? How is he as a king?"

"Fair. Calm. Different. He's consumed with the idea of peace. He has more patience than most, it seems. But he's not stupid, either. He's preparing his troops in case Sadler attacks."

"Sadler can't win against two courts, surely."

"We don't know what goes on in the Darkside." She shivered. "You remember how it was. They live in the dark, in the ground. There could be millions of them on his side, ready to tear us apart."

"And the Darkside is growing all of the time."

The girls returned to wash our hair and bodies. When we were completely oiled and fragranced, they helped us dress. I had the choice of jeans or a fancy gown. I chose the jeans. If I was going to be pregnant, then I was at least going to be comfortable.

Anya frowned at the jeans that swam around my waist. "You're far too thin. Haven't you been eating?"

"I've been a little stressed."

We headed back up to her room. To make me feel a little less left out, she had worn jeans, too. She looked great, practically glowing. The way I was supposed to look.

"You're safe now." She gathered me into her arms. "You know that, don't you? The king has promised you something. He won't go back on his word. As long as you're in this castle, nobody can harm you."

I wished I could believe her. I was pretty sure there wasn't a place in the realm I would be safe. But I was near friends again, and that felt good.

"I miss Zoe," I admitted. "I wish she could see this place."

"She wouldn't understand it." Anya poked at the fire. "And she might not... survive being around us. You have fae in you, and so will your child. I can't imagine you being unable to survive anything. It's the way nature made you."

"I don't want the fae ruining her life, too. But she was really counting on seeing this baby, on helping me raise her. And I just left her. Again."

"She'll understand some day. You'll see her again." She handed me a tissue.

I wiped tears I hadn't even noticed were dropping.

"Don't ruin your makeup," she chided. "You want to look strong and beautiful in front of Sorcha."

"Shit," I whispered. "I forgot I had to face her tonight."

"I'll be with you. If you change your mind and need to leave, let me know, and I'll pretend to be sick. But don't let her see your tears. Never give her that."

"I won't."

She cupped my cheeks in her hands. "And he doesn't deserve them."

We waited in her room until it was time for dinner to begin. "Is Dubh around?" I asked.

"He's with Grim and Realtín," she said. "Fastest horse in court. Brendan likes to keep his ambassadors safe."

I joined her in laughing. "I can't imagine Realtín being an ambassador for anyone. Surely, she scares off more allies than she brings in."

"Grim's there," she said as if that solved everything.

A bell rang. "Well," Anya said, looking about as sick as I felt, "I suppose it's time for dinner."

She checked my hair and makeup before taking my hand. We walked downstairs together, ready to face the now-married father of my unborn child.

Chapter Eight

The dinner was held in a large feast hall filled with tables and benches and chattering fae. I looked up and saw a night sky instead of a ceiling. A full moon lit the room. Obviously magic, but it was a beautiful illusion nonetheless. Apparently, Brendan's power had been returned to him.

Candles hung from the walls, and vines clung to the walls behind the main table, flush with black roses. I missed the scent of the white flowers. The Guardian of the Forest had planted a flower he had taken from me. Maybe it was still growing out there.

Most of the fae were already seated, many of them wearing showy gowns. Some looked at me with interest, scorning Anya's presence. I glared back at them until they turned away. Anya's hand tightened around mine, but her feet never faltered.

Brendan stepped down from the dais with Arlen and looked at me. "You'll be next to me."

I tried not to laugh. "You're wearing jeans."

He winked. "They're comfortable." He hadn't changed so much, after all. He took my hand and led me up the steps to his table. Arlen and Anya followed at a distance.

Sorcha and Drake weren't there, yet. Nella languidly relaxed in a chair as she spoke to a faery I had never met. She glanced at me, rolled her eyes, then returned to her conversation.

Brendan held out a chair for me. "Between Anya and me."

As we took our seats, Líle and Dymphna approached the table. Dymphna nodded at me then sat next to Nella, but Líle didn't even look at me.

"Líle," I called.

She gave me a blank look, then a half smile crept across her face. That was it? That was hello? Screw that.

I got up, ran around the table, and wrapped my arms around her neck. "That's how you say hello to a friend after a long absence in which she worried constantly about you," I whispered in her ear. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

She patted my back before pulling away. "This isn't a safe place. And it seems we're in different courts now. Opposite sides."

"This is the only way I could get in. And I don't care about the court crap. You know that. What's with you?"

"You should take a seat," she said solemnly. "The king and queen are following."

Hurt, I went back to my seat between Brendan and Anya. He was protecting me again, and I wondered if that was to spite someone. But Líle... she had surprised me.

Under the table, something warm and furry twined around my ankles. I picked up the black cat and hugged her. "Thanks for helping them," I whispered.

A servant announced the arrival of the king and queen of the Silver Court.

"Silver," I said with a snort.

Brendan looked at me with a grin. "Does green suit you better?"

"Anything is better than black, I suppose."

And anything was better than looking directly at the couple heading our way. Sorcha hung on Drake's arm as she sashayed across the floor. Everyone's eyes were on them. They had gone all out in the costume stakes and looked pretty pretentious. The tail of her gown was carried by half a dozen pixies, and every inch of him glittered. I wanted to puke.

And cry. And hurt someone.

I touched my stomach protectively. It didn't matter. The baby had me, and I could get her what she needed.

Brendan stood and ordered dinner to begin, barely giving Sorcha a chance to get to the table.

She sat on the other side of Nella, directly across from me. She smiled at me and said, "As well put together as always." Then, she got into a whispered conversation with my ancestor.

It made sense for those two to become best buddies. They were both nasty bitches. But maybe I was a little hormonal.

Drake sat across from Brendan without a word. Was he never going to speak to me again?

Under the table, Anya squeezed my hand. I wished Grim and Realtín were around. I imagined them bursting through the doors, unable to wait to see me, but it seemed like everything had changed.

I watched Líle over the first course. She was probably the most depressed-looking person I had ever seen. What was wrong? Had the Hauntings not left her? Was it the marsh water, what she had called the death water?

The hall was noisy while we ate. I picked at the food placed in front of me. I was pretty certain I wouldn't be poisoned in Brendan's house, but sitting so close to Drake without even speaking to him had killed my appetite.

"Everything is tasted before it reaches the table," Brendan said under his breath when I looked askance at a piece of bloody steak.

"Yeah, think I'll pass on this one." I pushed the plate away and took a sip of water instead.

Brendan stood, and the entire hall became quiet. "Tonight, I have news that affects my court. Number one, the human Cara Kelly is now under my protection. Any attack against her is an attack against me. Two, I've learned a lot from my past mistakes. One of those was having no heir when I... was removed from power. This time, I want there to be no dispute. Until the day I have an heir of my own, I declare the unborn child carried by Cara Kelly to be my heir. If I die before producing my own heir, her child will inherit."

Forks dropped, including mine. I looked at Drake. His cheeks had reddened, and a napkin was balled up in his fist. As soon as he noticed me staring, he smoothed over his expression.

I blinked a couple of times. Brendan had just put a big fat arrow on my baby's back. On me. I was carrying an heir. All they had to do was kill me to get rid of that.

When Brendan sat back down, the hall thundered with speculation.

I leaned toward him, feeling dizzy. "Are you crazy? Don't you know what you've done?"

"I told you to trust me. Don't you?"

"I think you just made a massive mistake." I turned to Anya and squeezed her hand for help.

Sorcha smiled tightly. "Congratulations, human. Well played."

"You're the one who played a game with all of us," I snapped. "I didn't do any of this. Stupid bitch."

"I'm not feeling well," Anya said, jumping to her feet. "Cara, would you accompany me?"

Nodding, I stood. The room hushed as everyone looked my way. I wanted to puke.

"I'll escort them," Líle said stiffly.

She walked alongside me, Anya on my other side. If the fae didn't want me dead before, they had just been given a fantastic reason. Sadler wanted to punish Brendan. All he had to do was kill his heir. His heir. What the hell?

Líle hurried us out of the hall. As soon as the doors shut behind us, I started hyperventilating.

"Let's get her to my room," Anya said. "Out of sight."

Líle steered us upstairs. I was feeling a little better by the time I was bundled into Anya's quarters.

I paced the room, shrugging off Anya's insistence that I take a seat. "What the hell is wrong with him? Is he absolutely crazy?"

"It was the only move he could make," Líle said dully. "It's the move Drake should have made. They all know whose child it is. The whispers were so loud that I heard them in my seat. Drake should have at least put you under his protection, too."

"But he didn't." I closed my fists. "And what's with you, Líle?"

She refused to look at me.

I glanced at Anya. "What's going on with her?"

Anya shrugged. "I've barely seen her since... our journey. She hasn't had any interest in talking to any of us. This is the most I've heard her speak."

Líle lifted her chin. "Don't talk about me as if I'm not here."

"Then talk to me," I said. "What's going on? Just because you chose Drake doesn't mean—"

"When we travelled together, terrible things happened to me," Líle said. "And you told me to trust in the Mother, that Brighid would be there for me. So I did. But Brendan is against her, forbids her. Drake is open to accepting her. I went where the Mother needed me. That is all."

"Jesus, Líle, there's no life in you at all. You look miserable. Talk to me. Let me help you."

"Look at you," she snapped. "You can't even help yourself."

"Get out of here," Anya said, her voice only trembling a little. "You can't speak to her like that in here."

Without a word, Líle left the room, leaving me shaken.

"I feel like I've been thrown into crazy town," I whispered. "Everyone has lost their fucking mind. Am I going to wake up from this nightmare any time soon? Because that would be great." I sat in a chair and laughed a little hysterically. "I'm pregnant with a married king's baby. He's living with a banshee who would really like me to die, and my baby is now a second king's heir. The villain of the piece is my kid's great-grandfather. And my long-dead ancestor, who happens to hate me for being human, is back in town. That's not fucked up at all."

"It's... not ideal."

I snorted. "Not ideal? It's definitely not ideal."

She smiled. "I wonder if your rooms are ready."

"I don't need rooms. I was thinking maybe I should go home. Brendan said I'm safe, so maybe—"

"Not yet." She looked hurt. "Don't leave yet. Have the baby here, where faery midwives live. You would have to answer so many awkward questions in the human realm."

"I can't stay here forever." No matter how much I wanted to. "Especially not now. The fae are going to want to kill me. I'm human. I'm... growing Brendan's temporary heir. That isn't going to go down well."

"He did what he thought was right," she said pleadingly. "I know he did."

I shrugged. "I can't stand thinking about it anymore. I just want to sleep."

She went to check on my accommodations. She soon returned and took me across the hall.

"Who got kicked out of there?" I asked wryly.

"Most of the rooms were already free." She cleared her throat. "To give Arlen and me some space."

"Oh, Anya, I keep getting in your way."

"No, you're not. Now close your eyes."

Humouring her, I closed my eyes and let her lead me into the room. When I opened them, I gasped. The room was freaking ginormous. It looked almost exactly like my room in Brendan's old house, except a hell of a lot bigger.

"And look in here," Anya said, excitedly pointing at a door on the opposite wall.

I opened the door to find a nursery, crib and all. "How did this get here?"

"I called in a few favours," she said. "We can redecorate, but it's a safe place for you and your baby."

"You did all of this in the couple of hours I've been here?" I gazed about me. "You've really come up in the world, my pixie friend."

She giggled. "Just wait and see what I'll accomplish by the time that baby comes. This is your home now. You needn't be disturbed. You can rest and relax and prepare for the birth."

"That's not for months. I can't really live in this room, can I?"

"You'll be safe. Arlen is across the hall. We'll take care of you. You're... you're my best friend."

I hugged her. "I would have fallen apart by now if you hadn't been with me. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. Drake's acting like I don't exist, and Brendan's just... I'm so confused."

She patted my stomach. "Worry about yourself for a while. The other problems will wait their turn."

We returned to the main room. A black cat was lounging on the bed.

"I should have known," Anya tutted. "Would you like me to leave you alone?"

"Yeah, I want to get used to the place."

"I'll have clothes sent up to you. I get to boss people around now. It's more fun than I expected." She left me with the cat.

I gazed around the room, feeling weirdly alone. I half-expected Brendan to come and see me, but something told me that Anya would kick his arse if he disturbed me. I was glad. I didn't really want to talk about his intentions or the fact he had majorly upped the stakes on my life.

I moved to the window, where there was a lovely view of the black rose garden. I lifted the sash a couple of inches then sat on the bed.

I scratched the cat behind the ears. "Want to talk?"

The cat purred and rolled over.

"Yeah," I said. "Me, neither."

Night clothes were soon delivered. I got changed and climbed into the bed. The mattress was the most comfortable I had ever lain on, and I soon dozed off. I prayed for a dreamless night. I prayed to wake up in the morning.

Chapter Nine

The cat hissed and spat. I sat up with a fright and saw a figure looming in the window. I gripped the dagger and jumped out of the bed, ready to flee, but he was already inside, his silver-threaded wings glistening in the dark. Drake.

I faltered, unsure of what he wanted, what he was doing. His expression was grim and unwavering as he strode over and sank to his knees in front of me. And I saw emotion on his face. The Drake I knew still existed in there somewhere, but he would always be two different people.

He pressed a hand against my stomach, splaying his fingers as if to reach as much as possible. He gripped my hips and pulled me closer then laid his cheek against my bump.

My heart broke for him. He was stuck in a marriage he didn't want, and he would never get to have what I would. He would never get to experience everything I was going through: the scans, the pictures, and the love I felt whenever I thought of the precious being growing inside of me. It was weird how things had changed.

I knew I couldn't truly blame Sorcha for everything, as easy as it was to do so. He had made his own choices, had built up a world of vengeance and bitterness. A voice inside my head said that I needed to protect our child from him. He wasn't capable of unconditional love. Not now. Maybe not ever.

His shoulders shook with a silent sob. I was stunned. A faery king was at my feet, crying. No, not a faery king. Drake. The other side of him. With a sigh, I reached out and ran my fingers through his hair. He held me uncomfortably tight, and his actions had already torn out my heart, but I shushed him and stroked his hair to comfort him.

I had hated him earlier in the evening, but I couldn't help feeling pity when I saw him that way. He'd had the balls or the stupidity to sneak through my window. If anyone had seen... I glanced over my shoulder. No one but the cat was watching us. I shrugged and turned my attention back to Drake. He whispered words I couldn't hear then kissed my stomach.

When he stood, he looked distraught. I stared at him, unsure of what to do next. We were having a baby together, and yet we couldn't even talk to each other. He cupped my cheek and studied my face.

Something moved in my stomach, and my mouth opened wide with surprise. At my gasp, Drake jumped about a mile in the air. I put my hand on my abdomen, but I couldn't feel anything. Maybe I had been mistaken.

Drake gave my hand an envious look before covering it with his. I badly wanted to wrap myself up in his arms, to persuade him to stay with me, to make him tell me everything was going to be okay.

His hand slipped to the nape of my neck, and he pulled me closer, his wings moving rapidly. He pressed his forehead against mine. Was he trying to give some kind of goodbye? I had no idea, and I had even less of an idea of what to do about it.

When he pulled away, he looked at my mouth. I licked my lips self-consciously. Our gazes locked again, but his held lust and desire. Usually, that would be all it took for me to lose myself to him, but clarity was still mine. When he leaned forward, I was prepared.

"You're married," I said in a much sharper tone than I intended.

His expression didn't change. He pulled me to him and kissed me full on the lips, fierce and unyielding. I tried not to fall. I tried my very best not to fall. I had to be stronger. I took a step away from him, my hands still on his chest.

"You made your choice," I whispered, though it broke my heart to say it.

He backed off as if I had struck at him. And maybe I had, in my own way. He opened his mouth as though to say something, glanced at my stomach, then shook his head. He left through the window without a glance behind him.

I got into bed and huddled under the covers, realising he had never once said a word. I soon fell asleep, although I wasn't sure how, what with so much running through my mind.

Some time later, a knock woke me. I got up, rubbing my eyes, and opened the door without thinking. Brendan and a group of servants and other faeries stood there. He looked mortified.

Sorcha brushed past him and stalked into the room. "Where is my husband?" she demanded.

"How the fuck am I supposed to know?" I snapped. I was exhausted, pissed off, and a little scared.

"Do you know the penalty for treason?" she asked, stepping right up to me.

"Do I care?" I stood firm. "And if you ever walk into my room uninvited again, I'm going to bitch-slap you right back to the Fade. Get the fuck out of here, Sorcha. I don't give a shit about you or your husband or your pathetic little mind games."

"Leave," Brendan said. "He isn't here. Everyone saw. You embarrassed yourself for nothing, banshee."

She leaned close to me and lowered her voice. "It's too late for you, Cara Kelly. You can't change the game now."

"Why are you still punishing me? I haven't done anything to you."

"What, did you think we would come back from the Fade the best of friends?"

I thought I saw a glimpse of regret cross her face, but she turned on her heel and strode away, brushing aside the other fae.

Brendan stepped in alone, closed the door behind him, and leaned against it. "I'm sorry. I'll leave a guard outside your door in future. She made a fuss and dragged the entire court into it."

I glared at him. "And you just had to see for yourself?"

He held up his hands. "I wanted to make sure nothing happened. To you. To the baby."

To his temporary heir, I added mentally. I sighed. "Just go away, Brendan. I'm tired."

When he left, I got into bed and curled up, too exhausted to do anything else.

Chapter Ten

Anya visited the next morning and invited me to have breakfast with her in her room. "I'm not going downstairs while Sorcha and Donella are around. Not unless I have to."

"I'm not really hungry, Anya."

"Maybe not, but the baby needs nourishment, and you barely touched your food last night, so you're eating something."

"You're so bossy."

She folded her arms. "You're right. Now get into my room."

Laughing, I walked across the hall with her. I did my best to share the breakfast that was promptly delivered to her door.

She observed me with a keen gaze. "Are you feeling sick? Do you need something specific for the baby?"

I smiled. "I'm fine. I have vitamins and stuff with me. That's enough."

She frowned. "I heard them last night, creating a scene. What was she thinking?"

"Either she's trying to embarrass him, or..."

"Or?"

"Or she cares what he does." I set down my cup. "Which is worse because he did come to my room."

Her frown softened into a pitying look. "What did he say?"

"Nothing. Not a word. He just... he was so sad, Anya. He touched my stomach, and..." I sucked in a breath, blinking back tears. "Everything is so messed up. I don't know why any of this happened. I'm not supposed to be the one who slips up like this. I'm not supposed to be the person ruining people's lives."

"You do love him," she stated.

I shrugged. "I love who I think he is. And sometimes, I don't even remember why. It's like, when we're together, I forget everything else. But then he proves to me that he's not even the person I thought he was, that he can never be the person I need him to be, and I let myself get hurt."

"What about Brendan?"

I sighed. I felt so much guilt over Brendan. "He's surprised me so many times. When it's me and him, I give in to him. I mean, it's not like he's forcing me. It feels natural, like we've grown into two people who could mean something to each other."

"He has a soft spot for you. When you're together, you look like a couple."

"Then why do I forget him when Drake tells me he cares? What the fuck is wrong with me that I care about two fae who can never be anything to me? How did I get here, Anya? How on earth did I manage to get sucked into this again so quickly?"

"Don't stress," she said. "I'm worried about you. You're still so thin, and you look like you haven't slept in months."

"I'm fine. I will be fine. I'm starting to think I made everything worse by coming here."

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea." I leaned forward. "Anya, what'll happen when Brendan gets married and has a child of his own? What happens to my baby then?"

"He'll think of something else. I trust him."

I grinned. "You're a sucker for him, too."

She smiled back, her cheeks darkening. "You have no idea what it is to be pixie. We're bred to do whatever it takes to survive, to be loved long enough to live."

"I love you. You don't have to do anything for that. And you seem to be quite comfortable playing lady of the house with Arlen."

"Oh." Air whooshed out of her. "I'm terrified. I keep waiting for someone to come and put me in my place."

"They can't do that," I scoffed. "And you're not going to let them."

"Oh, have you only just arrived in the faery realm?" she asked wryly. "My best chance of survival is to act like I'm better than everyone else, that I'm important. Maybe one day they'll forget that I'm not."

I reached out to squeeze her hand. "We're both of us in fucked-up positions."

"All for the men we love." She grinned. "Would you be... at my wedding, I mean. Would you be my maid?"

"What? Like a bridesmaid?"

She beamed. "Yes! You would be with me all day, sit with me, and hand me over to Arlen in the ceremony. You haven't been to a faery wedding, yet. It'll be exciting for you, and it'll mean everything to me."

"But I'll be all pregnant and gross."

She laughed. "You know, the fae are fascinated with pregnancy. Because it doesn't happen very often, they become extremely interested in and protective of pregnant women. You would put me to shame, even on my wedding day."

"Then I'm not doing it!"

"I'm joking. Oh, please. Please, be there for me."

"Okay. But only because you begged."

Laughing, she hugged me. "I know you're not entirely happy, but I'm so glad to see you. Realtín will be mad with jealousy that I got to spend all of this time with you first."

I bit my lip. "I wish Líle was so happy to see me. Did you see her eyes? Just like ash. I don't understand. I thought the Watcher was supposed to clean her of the Hauntings."

"He did. He and the Wife. He escorted her back himself, but she chose to go to Drake instead of Brendan. Arlen was disappointed. I was scared to see his anger. She hasn't come back whole. It's as though they cleaned everything from her, good and bad. But really, it wasn't the Hauntings. It's the shame. She thought of herself as weak, as a failure."

"But why? We all survived the trip."

She shook her head. "Honour is important to a warrior. She lost herself to the oblivion waters, and you almost died. You see how Arlen is with Brendan. They don't forget the souls they're supposed to protect. That was the beginning for Líle, almost losing you. And then the Black Marshes, the Hauntings, being unable to go into the Fade, being left behind with the injured and weak. She told herself she was nothing, that she didn't deserve to be who she is, and now she's... what she is. You saw her. You know what I mean."

"I feel bad. It's my fault she was ever there. I need to help her."

"She's not ready to forgive herself, and she's still haunted by the journey. In time, she'll be ready to let herself heal. Until then, there's nothing you can do."

"So that's it?"

"You need to cheer up. Or your baby will cry for days when he's born."

"Or she," I said with a smile.

She nodded. "Or she."

Arlen returned, so I made my excuses and headed back to my room, leaving the two of them alone. Bekind was sitting in a chair in front of my fire, huddled beneath a blanket. The woman looked at me with eyes full of pain. I closed the door and sat across from her.

"Can I stay?" she asked in a trembling voice. "Can this be my home now?"

I nodded.

She blew out a shaky sigh. "Donella refuses to keep her end of the bargain. Everything has been for nothing."

"Not nothing. Did you know I was pregnant all along?"

She nodded. "I sensed it as a cat. And I hoped it was true even before then. The line would have ended with you. Now it carries on stronger than ever. The child of a king."

"A king who's married to a banshee."

"I'm so sorry. I wish... I can't change the past."

I shook my head. "Nobody can."

"This is why I needed you to take Brendan from the Fade. At first, I didn't care if it would work. I just wanted some peace. I wanted to take Nella out of there and have my peace. I was so tired. But when Drake showed up, I figured he would work well, and I wanted... I wanted you to be happy. I knew you would be when Brendan returned. The light came back into your eyes. It's a pity." She stared at my stomach and sighed. "It's just a pity."

"So I worked for Brendan for the same reason as Drake? Because the body he had lived in created the life in my womb?"

"Exactly that," she said. "I worried at the end that it wouldn't work, but it was too late to turn back. After everything, it was worth a try. And still I'm stuck, still I'm cursed. I've given up hope. She will never free me. She's too spiteful. So I'm back here, begging you to let me stay, begging a human to take pity on me."

"I already said you could stay."

"I know, but I don't understand why. How can you be like this? After everything you know I've done, everything I know you've felt about me, how can you just forgive me?"

I stared at the fire that never stopped burning. "I don't forgive you, Bekind. I won't ever be able to forgive you for some of the things you've done. But I love you for other things, and both sides of the book balance out. I can't help it."

"You're so... so human."

I looked at her, thinking she meant it as an insult, but she was looking at me with a kind of awe.

"Sadler kept searching for you. He won't admit it, but his Darksiders look for you everywhere. He refuses to believe that you can't be found. Soon, he'll find out you're here."

"What do you think he'll do?"

"I have no idea. Truly, I don't. I doubt he would dare attack this castle. It's a stronghold, but more than that, it's the stuff of legend to many of the fae."

"Where does Drake live?"

"He took over the Seelie and Unseelie queens' castles and lands. One for him, one for the banshee."

"Seriously?"

"So the rumours say. He's changed, too. You must be prepared for that."

"We've all changed." I rubbed my stomach. "I'm going to be a mother, for fuck's sake."

"You will be a good mother. All of your line has been particularly affectionate to the babies in the family. You have a protective streak."

"Not to put a dampener on things, but my mother probably breaks the rule."

"Her affection put you in harm's way," she reminded me. "She protected you in a different, but necessary, way. Will you ever return to her? Show her she's a grandmother?"

I shook my head. "My life... my old life is over. I don't know what the future will bring, but it won't be what I expected. I just wish Zoe could share it with me."

"Nella will look for me before she leaves with the Silver Court," she said. "Can I hide in your room until then?"

"Why not? Everyone's already coming here like it's a lost and found office."

She smiled. "She's terrified of you."

"Who is?"

"Sorcha. She's terrified he'll get rid of her. He could. It hasn't been long. Nobody would care. It's not as if the banshees are well liked. Whispers are already spreading that a lady of death can't bear him an heir. They would accept a human instead, especially one already proven to be fertile. All you would need is Sorcha's death."

"Bekind!"

Her smile widened. "I'm just letting you know what it would take to be queen."

"I will never be a queen," I said firmly. "That will never be me."

She pulled her blanket tighter. "Life is funny sometimes."

***

Brendan sent a servant to ask me to join him for lunch that afternoon. In his new office, we ate together in silence. It seemed as though he didn't know what to say to me.

"Um..." I fidgeted with the cuffs of my sleeves. "Any news?"

He cleared his throat. "Sorcha wants you to be sent away. She claims it's for your own safety."

"Because of Sadler?"

He nodded. "Perhaps she and Nella told Reynard about you, too, so they could pass freely through the Hollows. Sadler probably thought you would be useful in his... negotiations."

"Drake doesn't care. I wouldn't be worth anything."

"We both know that isn't true. Sometimes I wish..." He sighed. "Our lives became entwined one night, Cara. The three of us will always be bound in some way. Even our actions afterward drew us all closer together."

"Except for the time he sent me away," I said with a harsh laugh.

"I didn't know he would do that. That wouldn't have been my way."

"So Anya thinks the fact that I'm carrying a baby will help me hold out on the whole summer wife thing for longer."

He shrugged. "I don't believe you will ever succumb." He narrowed his eyes. "Maybe when you're old, but that happens to humans when they age."

"Thanks... I think."

His old lazy smile returned. I couldn't help responding in kind.

He relaxed in his chair. "I'm glad you're back. It was getting boring without something berating me on a daily basis."

I chuckled. "Any time, Brendan."

"Tell me the truth. Did you miss the faery realm? Even after everything that happened? Did you want to return, or did... the baby force your hand?"

"I never wanted to leave in the first place. I wanted to know if Líle and Anya survived. I wanted to know that everyone got back to where they were supposed to be. I wanted to know... I wanted to be a part of what happened next. Now I'm glad I didn't have to watch."

He was a giant of a man, but he managed to look more sympathetic than Anya. "We all told him it was a mistake, not least because of you. But he had made his deals, and he's not completely without honour." He glanced at my stomach. "He didn't know he had other responsibilities."

"That you're now taking care of. You're always there to back him up. Why is that?"

"I have no idea." He cleared his throat. "They'll be gone soon, and you'll have the run of the castle. There are always warriors watching, and I'm certain you can be safe here. As long as you don't leave the grounds, I can protect you. No room is shut off to you unless..."

"Unless Anya and Arlen are making the nasty?" I asked innocently.

His laughter rang out. I realised how much I had missed making him laugh.

"Trust me, that's a sight you can never scrub from your eyes. You are a guest, but now you are practically..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Practically a queen."

I squirmed at the word.

"I don't want a queen." He held my gaze. "You understand that will never happen, don't you?"

"Break it to me gently, why don't you?"

"I have no intentions of marrying a woman in love with someone else." His voice hardened. "And I will never be anyone's second choice. As long as you don't become like Sorcha, scheming and planning, then you are welcome here. If this place doesn't please you, I have others. But this is my base. For now, I must remain here."

My stomach dropped at the dismissal. "I haven't asked you for anything for me. I just want this child to be safe from your world."

"I know." He looked away. "I simply thought it better to be clear from the beginning."

"Well, don't worry." I got to my feet. "You were perfectly clear. I'll keep out of your way. You won't even know I'm here."

"Cara—"

"I understand. Really, I do. I don't like this situation any more than anyone else." I reached the door and hesitated. "But I'll always owe you for what you're doing. Thanks for being... the person I can rely on."

I left without looking back. I closed the door behind me and blew out a sigh. I needed air. I headed outside, ignoring the stares of the members of Brendan's court. They could suck it. I was untouchable, according to Brendan, at least until the baby was born. Then the baby would be untouchable, until Brendan had an heir of his own. And then... then I had no idea what would happen.

I went straight to the black rose garden because it was familiar. I brushed away a stray tear as footsteps sounded behind me. I whirled defensively, holding my body in a way that made it clear I wasn't afraid to strike.

Arlen grinned. "You must have been a warrior in another life, Cara Kelly."

I snorted. "Yeah, right."

"May I walk with you?"

"Did Brendan or Anya ask you to?"

"No. I have a brain and can actually manage to think for myself."

I laughed. "I like when you make jokes. It's always unnerving. Makes me think anything can happen."

He fell into step with me. "I save them up. That way I can surprise people at the perfect moments."

"I noticed. So what's up?"

"Anya told me you would be part of our ceremony."

"She's kind of persuasive."

"She refused to marry me unless you were there. So I can say I'm glad you're here."

I smiled. "I'm glad you two are together for real now. No more longing glances and sexual tension."

"That never happened," he said stiffly. "I am a warrior."

"Of course you are. But when it comes to Anya, you're a big teddy bear."

"Perhaps I'm not entirely glad you're here."

I laughed. "Suspicion suits you. So am I safe here, Arlen? Brendan's given me the speech, but I want to know what you think."

"In these grounds, you are probably safer than anywhere else, but nothing is certain. You must always be aware, always carry a weapon. You are a survivor. Make sure you remember that no matter what comes."

"Like war."

"If war happens, we are all lost. You might not realise this, but you saved the realm by going to the Fade for Brendan. If he was still trapped there, war would have already begun. Drake would have gone for revenge by now, and Sadler would have been happy to take his chances. With Brendan, there is a chance for peace."

"Until somebody gets rid of Sadler," I added.

"That's true. An assassin would be best. Clean, easy, taking away a need for war. But Brendan refuses, and there are few who will voluntarily traverse the Darkside. We can't kill Sadler in neutral territory, or a war would erupt no matter what we did next. We need someone to get close enough to him to end his life, but what Darksider would do that for us?"

"So what now?"

"We wait for him to play his cards," he said in a low voice. "And we hope we can beat him at the game."

Chapter Eleven

I hadn't gone for a run since finding out I was pregnant. It wasn't as though I thought I was made of glass, but I had put my little embryo through a lot of stress, and I didn't want to take any more chances.

So when I headed outside to wander in the gardens early the following morning, a lot of nosy fae were disappointed. They had followed me in groups of three or four, but slowly lost interest when it grew apparent that I wasn't going to run around in circles or race Brendan this time.

I strolled amongst the black roses. I had once thought them a little chilling, but with all I'd gone through to get back, they seemed familiar and inviting. I remembered the black rose and white Brighid's flower that had been entwined on the gate in the human realm. I remembered when Brendan had scoffed at the idea of living in a castle again. I remembered when I had looked in a mirror and saw the deaths of all of my friends. Back amongst the fae, I found it difficult to forget some things, yet I had already half-forgotten the human realm.

"They even bloom at night."

I turned to look and took a step back. "Ronnie? Is that you?"

My old college lecturer gave me a shy smile with lips that were bloody and bruised from being bitten. Her once-long fair hair had been cropped short. She wore a loose-fitting shift dress that made her look childish, and her striking blue eyes were bigger than ever with the taint of her madness.

"Me," she breathed. "Yes, it is. And you're back." She gave the curve of my stomach an envious look.

I wrapped my cloak tighter around me. I had taken to wearing it a lot. I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was a reminder of better days. Maybe I wanted to shelter myself from those days. Seeing Ronnie made me want to retreat altogether.

"I heard about the baby," she said in a soft voice, but her eyes had gone hard and icy.

"Yeah, I, um..." I held out my hands. "But you're okay! I had no idea what happened to you before."

"I forget some of it, but when the great king Brendan returned, he brought me here. I'm to be treated like a very important person. Like Cara." She giggled, and the sound was the creepiest I had ever heard in my life. "I'm just like Cara." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "But Cara got everything."

I took a couple of steps back, but she advanced on me.

She licked her lips. "My son is your baby's uncle. Blood relatives."

I had no idea what to say to that.

"You could take me home," she said. "Couldn't you? We could run together, make sure the baby is safe from his father. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? Aren't you scared? Aren't you afraid he'll come for your baby, too?"

"Deorad's dead," I said firmly, trying to remain calm. She was a sick woman, and that wasn't her fault.

"Oh, yes." She stared at something over my shoulder. "I had forgotten that part." She giggled again. "There was a lot of blood, wasn't there?"

I nodded, stunned by the change in her.

"There's a light behind you."

I looked in spite of myself. Something golden was zooming through the air, straight at me. With a grin, I took a step toward the light. Remembering Ronnie, I glanced back, but she was gone. Trying to shake off the chill running down my spine, I ran to meet Realtín.

She flew at me and dropped damp kisses all over my face like an over-excited dog.

"Where's Grim?" I asked, laughing at her excitement.

"In the carriage. I couldn't wait. I couldn't wait!" She hovered in front of me for a long moment, just looking at me. "I thought we would never see you again. I should have known you couldn't keep away. I should have known you would figure it out!"

"I've missed you." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I didn't know if you were alive even, if you made it back with Líle."

She hissed, her light turning red. "Have you seen her?"

"Yeah. She's not the way I expected her to be."

"It's a shame." She shook her head. "She's with that traitor now. She took his side. How could she? How could he?" Red streams erupted in every direction.

"Calm down before you explode. Let's go meet Grim."

She led the way, stopping to stare at me every two seconds. "Aren't you mad at Drake?"

I shrugged. "What's the point? He doesn't even care."

Her red beady eyes found my stomach. "And it's true. There's a child." She shivered. "I'm scared for you, Cara. This is dangerous."

"I'm scared, too. But we'll be okay, right?"

"Of course." Her voice shook, but she was soon distracted. "Look, the carriage is turning into the gates already. But I won."

We reached the castle entrance before the carriage pulled to a stop. Dubh tossed his head and stamped his feet until I greeted him. Grim descended, and some faeries came to take Dubh away. When he saw me, his face lit up into a huge smile.

I got on my knees to hug him. He didn't care who was watching, so neither did I. Realtín made funny little squeaking noises as she few around our heads.

"We have a lot to discuss," Grim said.

"Don't I know it." I stood. "Get inside before we shock the realm."

Arlen greeted him at the door. "You're to come to Brendan immediately."

"Cara—" Grim began.

"She can come, too. There'll be no others apart from me."

We followed Arlen upstairs and onto the floor our quarters were on. To my surprise, Arlen knocked on the door of the room next to mine. Brendan called for us to enter, and Arlen opened the door, gesturing for us to go ahead of him.

Brendan's suite was luxurious but not much bigger than mine. My eyes were drawn to the massive bed that lay behind the first door we passed. We stepped into the living room part of his quarters, where Brendan was sitting in front of the fire, reading a book.

"It's good to see you back safe and well." He laid down the book. "Sit. All of you. I knew I couldn't separate you from Cara so soon. I have a meal on the way. Try to catch your breath before we begin."

Grim and I sat together on a small couch. Realtín perched on my shoulder, her small hands touching my neck constantly. Brendan smiled at her, genuinely amused. Arlen sat in an armchair, but he didn't look relaxed at all.

"How was the journey?" Brendan asked. "I didn't expect you back so soon."

"We heard Cara was back," Realtín said indignantly.

He raised a questioning brow. "How did you hear?"

"The word is already running rampant that you have an heir. Some say the child is yours, some his," Grim said. "What were you thinking, Brendan?"

I flinched, wondering how Brendan would take that.

The king gave Grim one of his lazy smiles. "I was thinking to protect her. What else could I have done?"

Grim gave him a look that said there was something they weren't saying in front of me.

"Forget that," Brendan said. "How was the news received around the realm?"

"Well, by some," Grim replied. "You know how it is. Everyone's happy when there's a line of succession." He bowed his head. "Almost everyone."

The meal arrived. Everyone picked at their food. Tension hung heavy in the air, and I guessed Grim's trip had been important.

"So," Brendan said at last, "is there news?"

"Little," Grim said. "Less is good."

Brendan sighed. "Break it to me."

"The Darksiders are definitely encroaching. Most of the tribes I met with had been approached already by emissaries from the Chaos Court. They're good, whoever they are. Stated a good case. Ours wasn't much better. Everyone is terrified of being lost to the Darkside. Sadler has played on that."

"How is he even alive?" I blurted. "He was sick and old and dying at the trials."

"Nobody knows," Arlen said. "Trickery perhaps."

Brendan steepled his fingers. "Until I see him, I won't believe it. For all we know, he's dead and buried already. Is there any good news?"

Grim shrugged. "Some claimed to be on their way to pledge their fealty. Most are still undecided. Apparently, three kings are too many."

"I don't disagree."

"If it's any consolation, I believe your numbers grow quicker than Drake's."

Brendan shook his head. "The daoine sídhe want to meet again. Let's hope there's no bloodshed this time. Their loyalty has proved their downfall of late."

"What does that mean for Dymphna?" I asked.

Arlen inclined his head. "Drake took her daughter into his care. They both live in his court. We understand why she remains loyal to him." He looked at Grim. "Are there rumours of an attack planned by Sadler?"

"Plenty," Grim said. "And the Great Forest is still unsafe for travel. That's a double-edged sword because this is the one reason more fae haven't turned to Sadler. They dislike the Darksiders and are suspicious of them. That won't last forever. They'll soon grow used to the changes."

"And any of them could be stuck on the wrong side if the darkness keeps growing," Brendan said. "It's a strange turn of events."

"You need to declare a friendship with Drake as soon as possible," Grim said.

Realtín flew over Brendan's head. "He's a traitor."

"A faery king can't be seen to make decisions based on loyalty to a human." Brendan swatted Realtín out of the air and held her to his chest. She froze, too unsure of herself to even struggle. "And the boy did what he thought was best. He's been alone for most of his life. Go easy on him."

Grim cleared his throat, apparently ignoring the fact his tiny soul mate was being clutched to the chest of a dangerously strong king. "Those inclined toward Chaos are likely already siding with Sadler. Those who want no part in war will be keen to stay within the neutral state."

Brendan set Realtín free. She flew up like an arrow before stopping to make obscene gestures. Her light was more golden than ever, so she was definitely pleased with herself.

"There'll be nothing official anytime soon," Brendan said. "Drake has... conditions before he'll agree to an official alliance."

Grim nodded. "I take it one of those is a joint declaration of war against his grandfather."

Brendan looked exhausted. "His anger has deepened, and there's nobody to temper him in that castle on a cliff top. He is surrounded by banshees and the likes of Nella. She's desperate to put Sadler in his place. She'll use Drake to get it, and he won't care as long as nothing gets in the way of his vendetta."

Everything had gotten a lot darker since I'd left my friends. They were split up and talking about war. Brendan and Drake were real rivals, and they only needed to destroy Sadler before turning on each other. Where did that leave me? If I was carrying Brendan's named heir, did that mean Drake would want me dead? His own child? He was dual-sided. How could I know which side of his nature would dominate? I couldn't until it was too late. I shivered.

The conversation continued with Grim telling Brendan more details about his journey. It sounded bad to me, as though the faery realm had begun spinning violently out of control once three branded kings existed at once. Two was tough. Three was a disaster. When Grim finished, Brendan dismissed everyone but me.

"I need to tell you something," he said when they left. He looked nervous.

"What's wrong?" I asked, dread filling the pit of my stomach.

He sat on the sofa next to me and licked his lips. "I know you don't like what I've done." He extended a hand toward my stomach but dropped it before making contact. "I can only work with the little I have. I've barely formed an army. If it wasn't for Drake, Sadler would already have attacked and likely won. I'm doing what's best for you, but the thing is... we need to make this official."

My breath caught in my throat. Official?

"While Drake and the others are here, we need to hold a feast in honour of our new ties."

"Oh. Oh."

"I know it's difficult, but you'll need to be there. You'll tie your child to me by proxy. There's a short ceremony, then nobody can doubt your child is under my protection. Do you understand? That you'll need to face everyone?"

I nodded slowly. "You mean Drake and Sorcha."

"And Nella. It's not a pleasant trio. I'm not sure how Drake has held on to his sanity, all things considered."

"They can't be that bad," I said, trying to hold the higher ground.

"They're worse, and you know it. So will you indulge me? Let me put on a show?"

"Is this for my child or to get one up on Drake?"

He frowned. "Can it not be both?"

I laughed. "I've missed you, you idiot. You promise this will protect the baby? That people will actually care?"

"I promise. Until I have a child, people will care very much. Do you hate that?"

I looked away. "I don't know what to think about it. I feel like it's more dangerous for us here."

"Us. You're already a mother."

My cheeks burned. "Not a very good one."

"You've made a sacrifice to come here. I think that's what parenthood is about—giving up what you have to make a better life for the being you've created."

"I wish it was that easy." I blew out a heavy sigh. "So when's the ceremony?"

"Tonight. I figured you would want to get it over and done with."

"Do I have to speak to Sorcha?"

"Beyond a greeting? I doubt it."

"Fine. I'll do it. It's not like I have a choice. So what's with the castle, show-off? Thought this wasn't home for you."

"People see this as the true court of old." He shrugged. "Better that I have it than Sadler. He would be the type to steal it while I resided in the human realm. I miss it there. I tire of the politics already."

"That's because it's boring. Brendan..." I waited for him to look at me. "What would happen if you died tomorrow?"

"Your child would inherit my throne." He sounded wary.

"An unborn child? Somebody else would have to rule until she was old enough, so what if that person hates me? What if they get rid of me to keep the throne for themselves? What happens then?"

He reached out and touched my cheek. "That won't happen. I've thought of all of these things. Believe me. It's something we're born knowing about our lives. I have organised everything in case of my death. And according to some, I've died twice already. What's a little death?"

"The third time will stick," I said sharply.

He grinned, taking me back to other times. "Are you worried for me, human?"

"As if I would waste my time," I said, but I smiled back at him.

He took my hand and brushed his thumb across my painted nails. "Green."

It wasn't a question, but I felt like I should answer. "I wanted to fit in. It's still your colour."

"That it is. What colour will you wear tonight?"

I shrugged. "I thought you decided that shit for me."

He cocked his head. "I'll let you surprise me for a change."

I made a face. "For a change? I always surprise you. You weren't sitting in the Fade waiting for me to show up."

"That I wasn't."

I stood. "I should go catch up with Grim and Realtín before she busts through the door."

"Psychotic little sprite." He got to his feet. "It's odd, but I've been wondering about you lately. It's as though I thought of you, and you appeared."

"What were you wondering?"

"Back when Drake and I shared a body, you and I shared something, too. I wondered if it was a quirk of the circumstance, his, or rather my body reacting to yours. After we left the Fade, I never really had the opportunity to test out a theory."

My throat was suddenly dry. "What theory?" I whispered.

His thumb ran across my lower lip. My pulse quickened. He was tall and broad and intimidating and everything that Drake wasn't. I had wondered, too.

"I had a theory that you liked me in spite of Drake's body, not because of it. When I left the Fade, I saw how you looked at me."

"How did I look at you?"

"As though you liked what you saw." His gaze turned dangerously dark, and his voice dropped an octave. "You still don't look displeased."

I remembered how he had already dismissed a chance of anything between us and aimed for a smart remark to bring us back on track. "You're not as pretty."

He smirked and pulled me closer. "No."

"I..." I couldn't think of one thing to say. He was too close, too clever, and too far out of my league. He was officially a king. Everything was different.

He bent low, keeping his eyes on mine. Someone knocked on the door.

His eyebrow quirked, and he released me. "Lucky you. Saved again."

"Saved," I said scornfully. "You don't scare me." I started to brush past him, but he got in my way.

"Don't I?"

I tried to move around him, but he sidestepped again. A cat tormenting a mouse. "Stop it, Brendan."

"Then tell me the truth."

I knew he was teasing me. I knew it, but I felt every word against my skin like a caress. What was wrong with me?

"The truth is..." I curved my body against his, lifted my hand to his face, and ran my fingers across the scar on his forehead. It caught my eye every time I looked at him. I liked it, liked the way it changed his face.

"The truth," he whispered.

"The truth is," I repeated. I looked into his green eyes and realised we had both gone too far. "The truth is that I'm on my way out of your room before we act even more stupidly than we already have. You said things to me that were very clear, Brendan. I won't ruin what I think is a good friendship for a stolen moment every now and then."

I stepped around him. He let me go. At the door, I turned back to look at him. His smile was broad. I waited for him to say something, anything at all. A second, more urgent knock sounded.

"I think you're wanted," I said softly, then I left the room, completely ignoring the red-faced faery standing in the hall.

Chapter Twelve

A woman with needles for fingers nodded, and a group of pixies each held up a dress.

"They're all so beautiful," Anya said. Just like me, she had her pick. She wasn't used to it yet. Her hand trembled in mine. She was going to have something for her own. Something nobody could take from her. Something she didn't have to share with the other pixies. I had a feeling she had been hiding in her room before I returned.

"You first." I gave her a reassuring smile. "Pick one."

She took a deep breath and stepped away from me. Arlen had become more than a bodyguard, and she had risen with him. The other pixies scowled at her. I watched them carefully, ready to defend her if any of them tried something. They were spiteful little beings as a race, but there was something pure in Anya, a desperation to be a better person.

She strolled past the dresses, reaching out her hand but barely touching the fabric. I swallowed hard. If it wasn't for the things we had gone through, she would be invisible, just another pixie holding up a dress.

She came to a stop at a brilliant royal-blue dress. The colour matched her hair. I plucked a bronze ribbon from a basket at my feet and held it next to the dress. She let the ribbon run through her fingers and nodded, apparently unable to speak.

"It'll be beautiful." I nodded at the seamstress. "She'll take this one."

The seamstress's sharp eyes took in Anya's figure as if mentally sizing her up. A tearing sound made me gasp.

The cream-skinned pixie holding the blue dress sneered. "Oops."

Anya took a step back. The dress was ruined. The day was spoiled. But I wasn't about to allow some bratty pixie ruin my friend's experience.

I grabbed the dress out of the pixie's hands and threw it at the seamstress. "Fix it." I closed in on the pixie, fire in my eyes. "Get out, and don't come back. You're lucky I don't tear your wings off and see how you like it."

She blinked a couple of times, her silver eyelashes so long they brushed against her eyebrows.

"Did you not hear me?" I reached for my dagger.

She ran from the room. I turned and raised my eyebrows at the seamstress. She nodded at the dress. She could fix it.

"See?" I said to Anya. "No harm done. It would have to be adjusted for your size anyway, right?"

Anya nodded, but a little of the light in her eyes had faded.

"Wanna help me choose?" I asked. "I have no clue about this sort of thing."

My attempt at distraction worked. She began sorting through the dresses, the incident apparently forgotten for the moment. All of the gowns were long and flashy, typical of the faery court. In my limited experience, most of the female faeries of high ranking wore similar clothes on a regular basis. In fact, the dresses probably weren't showy enough for Nella, if her everyday appearance was anything to go by. She still wore old fashions, and the courts were desperate to follow her, even Sorcha, as if it would make them more royal, more important, just... more.

They were all lovely, but they weren't me.

"We could take the white one and spruce it up with green ribbon." Anya looked at me. "Green for Brendan. So everyone knows you're a part of his court now."

I froze. Green for Brendan. Owned by Brendan. Taking a side. The thought made me feel a little sick. How many times had I told everyone I didn't have a king?

The pixies left, leaving the seamstress behind who listened to Anya discuss the changes she saw in her mind.

"Pick a green ribbon that you like," Anya told me, still looking at the white dress.

I rummaged through the ribbons and found some beautiful forest-green fabric that looked like lace. I was about to hand it over when something else caught my eye—a slim piece of silver. The silver court. Drake's court. I fingered the silver ribbon wistfully then stopped when I noticed the seamstress watching me carefully. Putting back the silver ribbon, I handed her the green fabric.

"That's perfect," Anya said. "Do you need to measure her?"

The woman shook her head and departed with both of our dresses.

"How does she do it so fast?" I asked, my voice shaking a little. Why was my face so hot? It was just a piece of ribbon, a colour. It wasn't that important.

"It's her job," Anya said. "And thanks for dealing with... that. I froze. That was my mistake. They pounce on weakness."

"Anytime. They don't know me well enough not to take me seriously."

"They know I have a friend." She took my hand. "I'll make sure some rumours spread about your ruthlessness," she added with a giggle. "Come. We should get ready. I plan on making the most of this."

The next few hours were spent getting ready. I wondered if Sorcha did the same, if queens wasted time on their appearance when there were more important things to do.

Later, I returned to my room to find the dress hanging from the poster of the bed. It looked completely different, but I couldn't help feeling like a doll again—always being dressed up to look a part I didn't fill.

Soon after, the seamstress arrived to dress me. She was silent, as usual, but I was panicking about pretty much everything: the ceremony, seeing the newlyweds, my reactions to Brendan, and the fact that I kept letting my insecurities show.

The seamstress took some silver ribbon from her basket and held it out to me. I almost passed out. She pushed it toward me. With shaking hands, I picked it up and grabbed some green fabric. I plaited the two together. The dressmaker whipped it out of my hand and sat in the corner, moving her needle fingers rapidly to piece the material together.

When she approached me, I held my breath. She moved her needles close to my wrist, sewing the fabric bracelet she'd made closed. She pushed the bracelet up onto my forearm.

"Thanks," I whispered.

She nodded then carried on with the dress. The current fashion was corsets—thanks to Nella—but there was no way I was going there again. I wore normal, human underwear under the faery dress, which shimmered whenever I moved. It showed a little too much skin for my liking, but it was so pretty I didn't complain. The fabric was loose and strategically hung. My shoulders and back had bare spots that drew the eye, but the material covered my arms and ran almost up to my chin.

There were no shoes. I wanted to whoop with relief. My pregnancy was weighing heavily on the soles of my feet, and I was pretty sure my legs were swollen. In the mirror, the curve of my stomach looked more obvious than usual. I ran my hand across my torso with a little sigh. I looked exactly as I was: a pregnant human trying to be a faery. The seamstress gave me a long hard look before leaving.

Anya soon joined me. "I was hardly going to let anyone else do your hair. You look beautiful."

My appearance paled next to Anya's. The blue of her gown was so striking that I imagined all eyes would be on her and felt a modicum of relief.

"You're going to distract Arlen," I teased.

"That's the plan," she said coquettishly.

She sat me down and set to work. Having her work on my hair was way more relaxing than a whole gang of pixies doing it. She pinned one half of my tresses tight against my head, and the rest was piled in curls. She dropped green glitter into my hair after she tied a green headpiece to the front of my head.

"That's a bit... crowny looking," I said, feeling weird about it.

"That's also the plan," she said.

"Anya..."

"Let me have this one thing," she pleaded. "Just let me see Sorcha and Nella's faces when they get a look at you. Both would kill to stand next to Brendan."

"I thought Nella hated Brendan," I said. "And Sorcha's married to Drake."

"Brendan is old blood, old power. No matter what, many fae see him as the true king. And I heard a rumour about Nella, that she turned to Sadler only because Brendan turned her down. And Sorcha... Sorcha wants everything. She wanted the one king with the one court. She wanted to be queen of it all. And now it's impossible. Nobody can be queen of all without killing two kings."

"Why would anyone even want that? Brendan is miserable as it is."

"There are upsides to everything," she said cheerily. "Let me look at you." She stepped back and studied me. "Perfect."

"Why can't you wear a crowny thing?" I asked.

She froze. "No, Cara. I can't do anything like that. I'm just a pixie, even if I'm seen as a favoured one right now. There are some things we can't do."

"But I'm a human. I'm even lower than a pixie. Why can I?"

"Because humans can be useful in a way pixies cannot. Trust me."

I felt as though there was a mountain of history I didn't know, so I just nodded. I wished Zoe could be with me, could see the things I had seen and experience the good parts of life with the fae. There were always two sides of the coin, and the dark side weighed on me heavier than the good.

"We'll have fun," she said. "It's a beautiful ceremony."

"Any idea what I have to do?"

"It's almost like a marriage," she said softly. "But it'll be a marriage of a different sort, one between your child and the crown. You stand in proxy because the child is unborn, but that doesn't make it any less important. When this is done, your child will be one of the most important people in the court."

I sighed. "All before her own birth."

Anya smiled. "She's a special baby."

We were late to the party. Grim greeted us at the doors to the feast hall. Realtín and Anya walked in with me, and Grim led us to the centre of the room where Brendan was waiting.

Brendan was wearing dark green leather trousers and a white shirt. We were all kinds of matchy. His hair was too short for plaits. I sensed eyes on my back, but I refused to turn around.

Brendan took my hand and led me to the front of the room. "We'll get this over with and then we can relax." He seemed nervous.

That made a giggle bubble up in my throat. I held it in, barely. "Stop freaking out," I whispered. "Or I'll blurt out inappropriate things and ruin everything."

"Please do. It'll help me look less nervous." He glanced at me. "Green suits you."

I tried to smile. "If you say so."

"I do say so."

I was surprised to see the hedge-witch standing under a white and green arch. I had assumed it would be a small, last-minute ceremony, but an awful lot of fae had gathered to see the show. I wondered where everyone had come from.

When we stopped in front of her, the hedge-witch asked, "Cara Kelly, are you here under your own free will?"

I nodded, cleared my throat, and whispered, "Yes."

"Do you agree to give up your child to be Brendan's heir?"

I stared at Brendan, terrified. "Give up?"

"It's a figure of speech," he said hurriedly. "I'm not actually taking your child. You're still looking after the thing."

I glared at him. "Thing?"

He shrugged, his lazy smile returning.

That settled my nerves. "I agree to let Brendan name my child as his heir."

The hedge-witch hesitated before turning to Brendan. "And do you, ruler of the Green Court, name this unborn child as your heir, knowing all of the responsibilities that may fall into its hands?"

"I do," he said.

I flinched at the words. What was I getting myself into? I was wearing a white dress and standing next to Brendan who was saying, "I do." I looked around in a panic and met Drake's eyes. He stood next to Sorcha, but I didn't even see her. I just saw violet eyes staring at me accusingly. I waited for him to say something, do something, but he stayed still. He didn't claim the baby or tell everyone they were making a huge mistake. He let Brendan take ownership of the child we had created together.

And right then, I knew I was doing the right thing. I poured everything in my heart outward, letting all of my emotions flow to the fae. Gasps rang out, and Brendan gripped my hand. I turned back to the hedge-witch, determined.

"Is your child the heir of the green court?" she asked softly.

I pressed my free hand against the bracelet hidden under my sleeve. No one but me knew that I had been torn in two, that I belonged everywhere and nowhere. My child would be safe. That was all that mattered.

Brendan was staring at me. Everyone was staring at me. I knew they all felt my pain and anger and determination. They all felt me, even the man who was pretending I didn't exist.

"My child is heir of the green court," I said, louder than expected. My words were full of spite and bitterness and... gratitude. I turned to Brendan. "Thank you."

He looked shocked, but he nodded. He held up my hand, his fingers entwining with mine for all to see, then he leaned down and whispered, "What was that all about?"

"I don't know," I said with a little laugh. "I didn't want to be forgotten for a moment there."

"I noticed. Are you...?" He bit his lip and stopped when a tall faery had approached us with a long piece of ribbon.

The green ribbon was wrapped around our wrists, tying us together. I wanted to cry, and I had no idea why. All around me, faeries grew teary-eyed. They pressed closer to us, desperate to feel my emotions. I glanced around the room. Drake was gone. Sorcha remained, but she had an unreadable look on her face. For a split second, I could have sworn I saw sentiment there.

The hedge-witch gave a little speech that I didn't hear. I kept staring at my hand and Brendan's, tied together. I couldn't break free, and I had tied my child to him.

I held his gaze. "You had better fucking protect her."

He nodded, looking a little dazed himself. The atmosphere was crazy. All of the fae were chattering and twirling and dancing around us, some crawling around my feet to touch my ankles. And the ceremony wasn't even over yet.

The hedge-witch lit a long taper. The flame was green. I watched, a little scared, as she set the ribbon on fire. It burned around our wrists, eating up the fabric, but there was no heat or pain.

"And now it's done," the hedge-witch said as I was still flexing my fingers in wonder.

"It's over?" I asked.

"Well," Brendan said, "now it's time for us to celebrate."

The faeries cheered and squealed. Brendan sedately led me to a long table. His chair wasn't larger than anyone else's, and his table wasn't separated or on a higher level. He was going to eat amongst his people.

I sat between Anya and Brendan. Arlen was next to Anya, and Grim was on the other side of Brendan. I caught Grim's eye once, and he smiled at me, looking completely relaxed, so I hadn't done something stupid. There wasn't been some hidden part of the ceremony that would be thrown in my face later. It was done. I rubbed my stomach. My child was safe.

Faeries began to step up to the table and greet us, congratulate us, and tell me that I would have a strong, lucky, beautiful, powerful baby. I hoped I had a lucky baby inside of me. Luck seemed to be the only thing that made a difference in the fae realm.

Líle approached with a bunch of white flowers. The room fell silent. She purposefully handed them to me.

I took them without hesitation. "They're beautiful."

Brendan thanked Líle through gritted teeth. She blinked as if surprised, and I wondered if she had been expecting trouble.

"Sit with us," I said on a whim. "We miss you. All of us."

Nobody disagreed with me, but I heard someone give a sharp intake of breath.

"Perhaps another time," Líle said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Líle," I called as she walked away, "thank you for the flowers. I hope... I hope she gets to know you some day."

"She," Brendan said with a snort when Líle had left the room. "The pixies insist there's a boy in you, something about the shape of your stomach or some such nonsense."

"Exactly," I said. "Nonsense. I just hate saying it, so I say she." But I wanted a little girl. Desperately. I wanted to give her the life I didn't have, along with a father who wanted her and loved her. But I had already screwed up in that regard.

Nella and Sorcha were next. I steadied my expression and waited for whatever would come.

"We'll send on our gift," Sorcha said, holding Brendan's gaze.

Nella looked at me with amusement. "Maybe you're smarter than you look. A descendant of mine, heir to the green court." She threw back her head and laughed harshly. "How the fates like to play their games. I wonder if we will ever get to see this child, human, and who it will resemble. We already know it won't have red hair."

Brendan cleared his throat in warning.

Nella continued. "You've played a good game so far, but the game is far from over. Remember that when you lose it all." She walked away.

Sorcha stiffened, looking unsure of herself for the first time ever. Close by, fae began whispering.

"I..." Sorcha held her head high. "We leave soon. I wish you well."

She turned away and followed Nella. Dymphna stepped forward. She asked Brendan something, but I wasn't listening. I was thinking about the ways I could lose it all.

My child was heir to a faery court. The ways I could lose were many.

Chapter Thirteen

All of the drama died down, and the faeries moved on to other worries. I watched from my window as the last of Drake's court left for home. Over the next week, I sat in my room for hours at a time, feeling lonely, or wandered in the garden, followed at a distance by Ronnie, who never spoke to me again.

One minute, I was treated like a princess, and the next, I was bait for a hunt, then I was off on some crazy mission, travelling through the most dangerous parts of the faery realm, before it was back to the human world, a cold slap in the face after all of the wonder. I had returned to the faery realm, but I was confined to a castle I didn't know, and nobody I knew had time for me. It didn't feel great, and I was getting worried about giving birth in the faery realm. If time didn't pass as it did the human realm, then what did that mean for my child? A baby for a long time? A life in the human realm just to age her properly? And then what?

Depression enveloped me like a cloak. Fear, confusion, and worry tangled me up and kept me down. I had a permanent lump in my throat and a fear that I had been forgotten, that I was experiencing a summer wife's life. Except I wasn't a summer wife. I was more like a broodmare.

Staring out my window, I sucked in a shaky breath. Life had changed.

Bekind was asleep on the bed. She hadn't shifted back into her human form since our conversation. She didn't want to talk, but I needed to talk. Anya was too busy with Arlen, and I couldn't begrudge her that happiness. Líle had left with Drake. Realtín and Grim were an important part of Brendan's court and always busy. Brendan... had forgotten me. And I was so full of hormonal surges that I couldn't do anything but feel miserable and neglected. I was pathetic, and I knew it, but I couldn't stop.

That evening, Anya knocked at my door to ask me to join her at dinner downstairs.

I avoided her eyes. "That's okay. I think I'll just rest."

She hesitated. "Would you like me to send up some food?"

I shook my head. "I'm not very hungry." I gave her a smile, the best I could manage. "'Night," I whispered, managing to close the door before I lost it. I was trying to convince myself that I was screwed up because of baby hormones, but maybe I was just losing my mind.

I curled up on the bed. Bekind lay next to me, apparently as miserable as I was. She had better reasons, though. She had betrayed me for a reward she hadn't even received. I wasn't sure if she needed absolution or forgiveness, or if she was moping because she had to suffer as a cat. Except... she was usually happier as a cat.

"I wish I was a cat," I whispered.

She rolled over and regarded me with feline eyes. I stared back, letting myself feel whatever I had to feel. She swiped at me, jumped over me, then scratched at the door until I let her free. Even the morose cat was fed up of my attitude. That was just great.

I paced the room, every emotion brimming. I felt as if I were containing a whirlwind, tamping down on everything I felt in case... in case of what? Somehow affecting the baby. Affecting the court. Grabbing attention from the wrong fae. Maybe I was practising for the rest of my life. I would live with my child, knowing that we were a hub of attraction to the fae who liked to feed on our emotions.

A low knock sounded on my door. When I answered, Brendan walked in and closed the door.

He pressed his back against it, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "Hide me," he whispered.

"Um, okay?"

He pressed his forefinger against my lips, indicating silence. He cocked his head as if listening. Outside, people were running in the hall, knocking on all the doors.

"Bathroom," I mouthed.

He ran in that direction.

When the knock came, I opened the door with a foul expression plastered on my face. "What now?" I snapped.

The fae cowered. "I... I'm looking for our king. Have you—"

"You mean your king. Can't you see I need some rest? I'm pregnant, for fuck's sake. Go bother somebody else."

His face reddened, and he ran away. I watched him reach the stairs and take one look back before descending. Smiling, I closed the door.

Brendan came out of the bathroom. "Laid it on a little thick, didn't you."

"It worked. What the hell was that about?"

"I need a break." He slumped onto the bed. "I'm so tired. So bored. And I haven't seen you in days. Where have you been?"

I looked pointedly around the room. "Right here."

He leaned on his elbow. "Why? You should come to court. You would be able to translate for me."

"And have everyone stare at me?"

He looked confused. "That's always happened."

"Well, maybe I don't feel like it now." I plopped into the armchair beside the fire.

Brendan left the bed and sat on the sofa. "What's different now?"

"Everything! Everything is different. Look at me. I'm having a baby. A baby, Brendan! I'm not ready for that. I don't have any experience. I've no idea what I'm doing. And besides all of that, I'm trapped here."

"You came here," he reminded me gently. "I didn't force you to come."

I glared at him. "I went from having the ultimate freedom in the realm to this, trapped in a castle waiting for responsibility that I'm not ready for. It's just... happening so fast. And then that ceremony with you was..."

He straightened. "Was what?"

I panicked. "Suffocating. It felt like I was giving up my life. I mean, technically I have. That's what you do when you have a baby, right? Give up everything else. No more... no more..."

"No more what, Cara?" he asked impatiently.

"No more... fun. No more adventure. No more..." I looked at him shyly. "I've ruined a lot of things."

"You didn't do it alone. You're not magical, Cara. Drake bears as much responsibility as you do. Maybe more, considering the position he's in."

"But he's obviously not going to do anything about it. What have I done? I had a screwed-up childhood because of the way I was born. Now I've gone and done something worse to my kid. It's so complicated."

"You care about people very deeply very quickly. Why would it be any different for a child born from your womb? All the child needs is your love, and you're quick to give it, are you not?"

I couldn't tell if he was mocking me. "I wasn't like this before. Before I met all of you, I was as cold as I could manage. I've no experience with this. What if I'm not enough? What if I can't give the baby whatever she needs?"

"Don't doubt yourself. There's no reason to expect the worst."

"Her father is married to the queen of death, and she's the heir to a rival court, but only until you get married and have a kid, then she'll be hung out to dry. It's not going to be rainbows and unicorns, you know?"

"It could be so much more. Do you want to go home, Cara?"

"No," I said hoarsely. "I'm just scared of what staying here means. I'm scared of having a baby here, of how it will work. I'm confused about time and leaving behind everything I know that's real. I lost a year when I went to the Fade. And what kind of child am I going to have, Brendan? One with wings? A black heart? What?"

"The child you create. Your child has you." He knelt at my feet. "You're good enough, Cara. I heard you say once that you were more than what we made of you. Believe it now."

I hugged him so abruptly that we both almost toppled over.

Laughing, he held me at bay on the floor. "What was that for?"

"For fixing me. Well, not me, but... I've been sitting here moping and worrying and making myself worse, then you come along and free me with just a few words."

"Free you?" He frowned. "That's an odd turn of phrase."

I looked down at him. We were pressed close together, his green eyes penetrating me. My pulse raced.

I had to be the weakest human on the planet. "It just felt right at the time."

Then, the baby kicked. Not flutters, a full-on kick. We broke apart in shock. I stared at my stomach in wonder.

"That's fucking weird," I said. "That's not supposed to happen like that. Not yet."

"Perhaps she's growing fast back where she belongs." He helped me to my feet. "She's as contrary as you."

I sat on the chair, still in awe. "Good. It's the only way she'll survive around here."

"I'll send for a midwife, someone who will ease your mind. She'll be here within a few days. You don't need to worry, Cara. You're not the first human to experience this here."

"I'm scared. How could I go on a journey to the Fade yet be so terrified by the idea of a baby?"

"You probably can't fight off a baby with a dagger," he said dryly. "There's no turning your back on this one."

"No." I rubbed my stomach fondly. "I'll never leave her. I'm going to do whatever it takes to protect her. No matter what."

He grinned. "Good. And now that we've gotten that cleared up, I'm ordering you to leave this room more often. Visit court with Realtín and Anya. Eat with all of us. Experience court while you're not... as busy as you will be."

Moping around wasn't good for the baby, I decided. I would snap out of it. I would figure out my new life.

"Yeah," I said at last. "I think I will."

***

The next few days, my time was full. I immediately felt better. Bekind shadowed me everywhere. I joined Realtín at court and Anya at dinner, and my room became a hiding place for Brendan whenever he needed to escape his own worries. Everything was taking shape again, and I was feeling confident that things were going to be okay.

In court, Nella's favoured dresses were disappearing as more and more fae wore casual human clothing. They copied me blatantly.

"This is weird," I whispered when I saw three faeries wearing a dress in the exact same style as the one I'd had on the day before.

"Your child is the heir," Anya said under her breath. "You're important. They want your favour, want to try all of the new things you will bring."

Anya, Realtín, and I were sitting on a low bench near Brendan's throne. Grim and Arlen sat on either side of the king. Most of the court who bothered to show up lounged casually around the hall. Faeries came to Brendan to make requests or pleas for help and to pledge fealty. Many faeries attended just to watch, some for days, before they pledged their fealty or sneaked away again. The regulars who stayed in the castle often sat in rows of seats on either side of the room, whispering and laughing constantly.

An elderly faery I didn't recognise stepped up next, his broad wings moving quickly.

"Him again," Anya said. "Back to flirt."

"Um, what?"

Realtín giggled. "He's the matchmaker."

"Ha!" Anya lowered her voice as a number of eyes turned in our direction. "He's the lineage consultant. He's about a million years old and has arranged lots of marriages amongst the upper tier. Every family with even a drop of royal blood has been showing off their daughters in the hopes Brendan will marry one."

"The queens weren't married," I whispered. "What's the big deal?"

"Stability. When Brendan fell, many fell with him. Same with the queens. No heir means trouble. We've ended up with three kings this time because of it." Anya smirked. "But this fool actually thinks he can convince Brendan to make a match."

"You never know." But my palms were sweating as the matchmaker made his offers and pleas. If Brendan agreed to marry, my already precarious position would be even less stable.

"A ball," the matchmaker was saying. "A perfect opportunity for you to meet your potential bride."

"You mean to turn my home into a cattle market?" Brendan slouched in his throne, a twinkle in his eye. "And should I bring along an expert in breeding to check their teeth and test their wombs?"

"I'm sure nobody would protest, but—"

"I was being sarcastic." Brendan stood, thunder in his expression. "Let me tell you right now, my honoured guest, that I can guarantee you my bride will never be one pathetic enough to allow—"

"Perhaps a ball would one day be a good way to reacquaint ourselves with families who do not live at court," Grim said loudly. "But that day is far off when the threat of war approaches. Surely our king's time is better spent accomplishing his quest for peace."

Brendan sat back down, his anger gone. "Of course. In due time. What an excellent idea."

The matchmaker's expression twisted into ugliness. "I must take direction from a brownie?"

"Only if that brownie is wiser than you. And in this case, he certainly is." Brendan waved him off.

The onlookers laughed and jeered at the matchmaker.

With a flushed face, the matchmaker stormed out of the hall. But Brendan looked a little afraid, then he exchanged some whispered words with Grim. I wasn't sure what was said, but Grim looked proud of himself afterward.

The room fell silent when a Darksider appeared, walking right up to Brendan without a word. She hadn't been announced, but there was something about her that marked her as "other"—the darkness in her eyes, perhaps. She wore a black cloak over a black leather riding suit, a short sword on each hip. Her hair was shorn close, and an earring dangled from one ear. Her skin looked kind of grey, but when she approached, her eyes really stood out to me. All of the fae had pupils that were overly large. Sometimes I tried to imagine what my own child would look like. But the Darksider had no colour to her eyes. They were pure black and unreadable. I wondered if she had been born that way.

But the misery rolling out from her, infecting those closest to her, marked her more certainly. She was the living embodiment of the Black Marshes. I couldn't control the shiver that ran down my spine. As if I had called her name, she looked at me with an odd expression.

"Why are you here?" Brendan asked, appearing relaxed even though Arlen had drawn his sword.

She raised an eyebrow at Arlen. "Is this what passes as hospitality in the Green Court?" She sounded sarcastic, but I had a feeling that was her default mode.

"Has a Darksider earned hospitality at my court?" Brendan asked in a dangerously cool voice.

The corners of her lips turned up. "Set me a task first."

"Tell me your name."

She looked momentarily startled. "They call me Vix."

"Sadler calls you Vix?" Brendan sneered.

"Sadler calls me warrior," she snapped. "I'm here with a message... nay, a request."

"Speak," Brendan said. "What is the request?"

She glanced at me and smiled. "Sadler has heard a rumour that his family will soon grow. He requests his great-grandchild's birth to occur in the Dark Court, its rightful place."

"Sadler is misinformed," Brendan said. "The heir of the Green Court shall be born in the Green Court."

To my surprise, she simply nodded. "As you wish. May I reveal the second request?"

"What is the second request?"

I had noticed that a lot of the fae made outlandish requests on their first go, as if a refusal was given.

"It has been noted that an important court ceremony took place here recently, but the ruler of the Dark Court was not invited."

"I do not welcome chaos," Brendan said. "The request, woman."

"He requests a visit." Her mouth widened into a hunter's smile. "He wishes to hold a celebration. He invites all of the courts to celebrate a new heir, as is only natural."

The scar on Brendan's forehead deepened. "A celebration?"

She widened her eyes, giving her a more demonic look. "Did you not pursue peace? My king will be surprised."

"Tell your king he's welcome to meet my heir right here," Brendan said with a dark smile.

"My king is such an old man. It would be too much stress for him to journey so far. You understand."

"I understand he is not so frail anymore. That is a decent trick. Perhaps you would share it with me."

"I'm not so clever as to understand your meaning." She took a bow. "Shall I inform my king that you refused his offer? His request?"

"Tell your king that I'll give him an answer when he faces me and asks me himself."

She bowed her head, looking pleased. "I will do that for you, Your Majesty."

Vix gave me a toothy smile before leaving the hall. Brendan made a sign, and a couple of his warriors followed her closely behind.

"She wanted that," I whispered. "Why?"

"Sadler and his games," Anya said. "I would not worry."

I had a bad feeling that Vix's real job had been to take a good look at me. I couldn't believe he wanted me to give birth in the Dark Court. What was wrong with Sadler to even come up with that idea?

Brendan dismissed court for a break. "Cara," he whispered urgently. "You're to stay right here until we're sure she's left. Do you understand? No walking alone."

"But I—"

He held up his hand. "It's just until she leaves. She wouldn't dare make a move, but just in case."

"What do you think he wants?" I asked.

He smiled, but it was empty. "Oh, just to rattle my cage. He's probably sent someone to Drake with a request that is just as ridiculous, or else another plea to war against me." He looked at Arlen. "Send a messenger to Drake and find out what he's heard."

"I'll stay close to Cara," Anya promised. "I won't let her out of my sight until I know she's safe."

Brendan gave her a grateful look. "I'm hungry. We can eat together before I return to work. Perhaps I'll even take the rest of the day off."

Everyone acted pretty normal, but a chill ran up my spine, a warning that all was not as it seemed. Something in Vix's words had been read as a warning by Brendan and the others. They acted as though nothing was wrong, but their smiles were humourless, never reaching their eyes. Their voices were muted, and they all seemed jumpy.

After dinner, I grabbed Grim's arm and pulled him side. "Tell me what everyone's so nervous about."

He glanced around then said, "We're not sure."

"What do you mean you're not sure? Everyone's on edge."

"Sadler will do whatever it takes to force Drake to war against Brendan. The fact that he dared to send a Darksider here says he is close."

"And the bit about me giving birth in the Dark Court?"

He hesitated. "That was the first request. You don't pay the first request any mind."

"She kept looking at me. She couldn't take her eyes off me."

"If Sadler killed Brendan soon, you would be carrying the leader of the Green Court. If Sadler... controlled you..."

"He would own this court, too."

"And if he knows Drake is the father of your child, then Sadler might assume he would hold power over him, too."

"Drake doesn't care about the baby. He's married to Sorcha now. What we had is gone. Never happened."

Grim looked at me with pity. "You don't understand what Drake has to do to be obeyed."

"I don't care. All I care about is keeping the baby safe. If it were up to me, I would kill Vix before she had a chance to leave." I walked away. I was changing, too.

Chapter Fourteen

My shift in mood didn't go unnoticed. Brendan arrived, bearing gifts from the human realm: a bar of chocolate and a book about pregnancy. I laughed at both, but I was secretly delighted.

"Now tell me what's bothering you," he said. "You looked ill at dinner."

"I'm grand."

He smiled. "We all know what that means."

We sat by the fire, where I pulled up my knees and wrapped a blanket around me. I hadn't been able to let go of the chill since Vix had left.

"What if you die?" I whispered.

"I'm not planning on dying anytime soon."

"Seriously, Brendan. What if there's a battle and you die? What happens to me then? Some fae decides to use me and force me to do their will until the baby is born? Or kills us both to get us out of the way altogether?"

"Arlen won't let that happen."

"What if he dies, too? I told you about the mirror." I shivered at the memory. "It was real, and everyone died. I was alone. I was... different. My eyes were like... Vix's." I gasped at the realisation.

"That's just your worries and imagination combining together to—"

"I know what I saw. You all died. It felt real, and I think it was a sign of what's to come."

"But are you sure?"

I thought again of the mirror that had appeared out of nowhere then disappeared into nothing again. "No," I admitted.

"Then let it go. If you imagine it so, then perhaps it will come to pass. I don't want to be beaten by my rival."

I smiled at his tone. "Drake's your rival now?"

His smile was wider. "He became my rival the moment I was brought into his body and he was too stubborn to get the hell out. Since that very moment, I've thought of him as my rival. Not my enemy, just my competition."

"So you're a little insecure then. The cockiness doesn't always stick."

He leaned forward. "Will you tell me something? Why him? You both vaguely mentioned how you met, but what was it that made you so... attached?"

"Attached?" I pursed my lips. "He married somebody else five minutes after I left."

"You kissed another when he didn't say goodbye to you."

I blanched. That was true, but it wasn't. That kiss hadn't been about Drake. Not that kiss. Not with Brendan. I suddenly had realised Brendan had something about him that I wanted, too.

"That wasn't because of him," I said in a quiet voice, refusing to look at Brendan. "On the first night, I had just walked away from my friends and stepped into the darkness without looking back. Even now it's hazy. I was scared, but I didn't feel. Something kept me calm. I didn't have the chance to take in what my instincts wanted to feel."

"Magic," he commented.

"Yeah. I tasted the wine, and it was like nothing else. I couldn't wait to drink more. Then he was there, the first person to talk to me, to touch me, to acknowledge my presence properly. And he told me no." I shook my head, remembering. "It was as if the word cut through the haze. I started to worry. Then he was gone, and I lost it again. I needed him to see clearly. After Sorcha the hag took me into that room and gave me those apples, I was lost."

"Your apple thing."

I made a face. "You try eating them until your throat is sore and being unable to stop. Drake was there again, bringing me out of it. He didn't have to. I'm pretty sure he was only there to try to get close to his father if he showed. But he didn't, and my appearance didn't make him feel any safer."

"So he saved you. He was your hero. That's what keeps you linked?"

"I think it was the human in him. He had a conscience, and he thought I would die if he didn't help. Wanna know what I think?"

"What?" He sounded as if he were in a trance.

"I think he was so lonely that when he started talking to me, some part of him realised what he was missing out on, and he didn't want to be alone anymore. I think that was it for both of us." I gave him a shy look. "The three of us."

He flinched then laughed. "Maybe you know more than the rest of us."

"I touched his wings, and when I went home and knew I would never see him again, I mourned. I was desperate to feel that connection again, to feel the magic around me. The magic is addictive, Brendan, but there's nothing like having another person in the world who might actually understand you."

To lighten the mood, I grabbed the chocolate and broke it in half. I held out one half. "Share?"

He smiled and took it. "Thank you."

We sat in silence, nibbling at the chocolate.

"Can I tell you another secret?" he asked, sounding like a young boy.

"Of course."

"You know what I did to Sadler. Took his wife and seduced her until she went mad. I did it because I thought I was saving him. I thought he would forget about her."

"I know." I hesitated. "I know why you did it." But I couldn't imagine it.

"But she was lovely. I've never met a person like her since. She was good and pure and kind and sweet-hearted. She was beautiful, inside and out, and I grew fond of her. I wanted the beauty at first. But I didn't touch her. I just wanted to look. She pined for him, you know. Wept for days. If he had known..." He shivered a little. "I made her love me in the end just to stop her crying. I never planned to. I just wanted to help Sadler forget about her. That's all. But the tears and the sorrow and the beauty broke my heart. I forced her to love me, and by the time Sadler found us, she had already lost her mind. He took her back anyway, but he couldn't bear it. He killed her. But I was the monster. It was me. The beauty turned me into a beast."

I tried my best not to react, but it was hard. I felt so sorry for the woman who had loved Sadler and for the Sadler who didn't exist anymore, even for Deorad who had never had a chance and for Drake who could have had a better life. And I felt sympathy for Brendan, who had done a terrible thing. He had to live with the regret, suffer for his mistakes.

"Is that why you're helping me?" I asked. "To atone for what you did to her?"

He shrugged, avoiding my eyes. "Perhaps. Or just... for a chance to be different. I never imagined my life would turn out the way it did, and now I have a second chance. But Sadler will never forgive, and I will never forget. I caused this, and now my people live in fear."

"War is inevitable," I said. "You can't avoid it."

His pain was obvious. "I know. There's not a thing I can do to stop it."

***

I wandered in the gardens alone. It had been three days since Vix had left, and I was more than ready to stretch my legs. My conversation with Brendan had been disturbing, to say the least, and he hadn't been alone with me since. He needed someone to take care of him, someone who would understand him, but some part of him was so monstrous that it terrified me. I couldn't reconcile the Brendan I knew with the man he had once been. Did he really deserve another chance at life after the things he had done?

I brushed my fingertips across the black roses. I loved them, but I didn't know why. They should have seemed dark and gloomy. I twisted the bracelet around my wrist. So far, it had gone unnoticed, but it kept everything together in my head—green and silver in equal measure, no matter what side I appeared to be on.

I heard a giggle behind me and spun around. Ronnie. And it hadn't been a giggle but a sob. In the distance, I saw Bekind at my window, but I followed Ronnie, needing to make sure she was okay.

The woman ran farther into the gardens. I hesitated, but I couldn't let her leave the court. She would be lost in the faery realm without even her wits to help her. She had suffered enough already.

I ran faster, holding my stomach. The baby had been growing extraordinarily fast, as if she had just been waiting to get back into the faery realm, to go home.

The midwife was due to arrive later that day, and I was excited to discuss what would happen. My fear had turned to hope. A part of me imagined that my little baby could fix the world, that my sole purpose was to bring her to life.

Ronnie moved into the woods, out of sight. Pigs ran squealing past me, almost knocking me over. I thought I heard my name being called, but then I spotted a flash of movement amongst the trees.

I shouted Ronnie's name and followed, begging her to stop. If anything happened to her, it would be my fault. I had to get her back and talk to Brendan about getting better care for the woman. It was strange to think that crazy woman had been a wanted criminal back in the human realm, that people had somehow imagined her capable of killing me. I had to remind myself that she was actually capable of murder.

Panting, I finally reached her. She was leaning against a tree, her face pressed to the bark.

"Ronnie?" I said cautiously. "Are you all right? Let's go back where it's safe, okay? Let's go back together."

She whirled around with a mad grin on her face and a sharp dagger in her hand. "I get to have your baby," she said with a terrifying giggle. "It's my baby, born again."

I stepped backward, straight into someone's arms. A hand covered my mouth as I struggled. The air became blurry as a strange smell filled my nostrils.

Shit.

Darkness enveloped me as I slid further into helplessness.

***

Rough movement woke me. I opened one eye and saw someone's ankles. Confused, I lay there for a second, wondering what was moving beneath me.

"She's awake," Ronnie whispered gleefully. "She's waking up."

"Shut up," another woman said.

For a moment, I thought of Sorcha, maybe even Nella, but no. I should be so lucky. Vix was the one staring down at me. Her eyes were filled with so much scorn that I almost shrank away from her gaze.

"Get up off the floor," she snapped. "Have some dignity."

My limbs were stiff, and I struggled to get up. We were in a moving carriage, and as it jolted, I fell into the seat next to Ronnie, my face burning.

I was uninjured, but I was pissed. "What the hell did you do, Ronnie?"

She giggled like a child. "I'm taking my baby home. To his true home."

"For fuck's sake." I glared at Vix. "Congratulations. You're officially an idiot. Do you know what this is going to do?"

"I know what we hope it'll do." She looked away. For all of her darkness, I sensed she was uncomfortable with the situation.

I reached into my boot, but it was empty.

"If you're looking for this..." Vix held up my dagger, twirling it in her fingers. "Do what you're told, and no harm will come to you. But do not aggravate me, woman."

"You've been sneaking around the woods all this time?" I asked. "Waiting for Ronnie to get a clue?"

She didn't respond, so I looked out the window of the carriage. The woods flew by, but we weren't in the Great Forest.

"How long was I asleep?" I demanded. "You could have killed my baby."

Vix groaned and shoved a basket at me. "Eat. Drink. Shut your whiny mouth."

"I need to pee."

"Wet yourself," she snapped. "I don't bloody care. I was ordered to take you alive to the Chaos Court. I don't have to listen to your carry-on, so be quiet, or I'll send you back to sleep."

I sat there fuming that I had been taken so easily, and all because I wanted to help the stupid bitch beside me. "You're not getting my baby," I whispered to Ronnie.

"It's my baby," she insisted, her face growing red with rage.

"Don't antagonise her," Vix said. "Do you know how long it took to convince her? Leave her be. She's to be pitied."

"As if you know what pity is."

She glared at me until I looked away.

I set the basket on the floor and ran the torn edges of my cloak through my fingers. "Are we really going to the Chaos Court?"

"Yes," Vix said.

"But what does Sadler want with me? What's the point of even bringing me all of this way if he wants to kill me? Why not—"

"He doesn't want you. He wants your baby. You're safe." She smiled. "For now."

"They won't let this happen," I said softly. "I'm under protection."

"And now you're under Sadler's protection." She sounded amused. "I'm sure you'll enjoy your new... life."

What did that even mean? I had run after Ronnie like an idiot. I had none of my things, and I was pregnant. Sadler was probably going to hide me in a room until Drake and Brendan came looking for me. Then he would hand me over, they would work out a deal, and everything would be okay.

I blew out a sigh. Vix glanced at me with suspicion, so I turned my head and watched the view. As we travelled, groups of soldiers joined us intermittently. We had a huge entourage by the time we hit the Hollows. I spotted Reynard riding on a horse next to us.

"I have dibs on you," he said through the window. "As soon as Sadler's done with you, I'll have seconds. Stay alive for me, why don't you? I like it when they squirm." With a roar of laughter, he raced on ahead.

"Idiot," Vix muttered. "He won't touch you."

I felt sick. I wanted to inch closer to her, but I was frozen to the spot. Even if I jumped out of the carriage, we were surrounded by black-clothed soldiers.

"Vix," I whispered, "I need a minute... to... to... I think I'm going to throw up."

To my surprise, she called for the driver to halt. The riders moved out of the way as the carriage creaked to a stop. Gripping my arm, Vix helped me out of the carriage and led me into the woods, away from prying eyes. I didn't throw up, but she let me pee and found a stream for me to splash some water on my face. When I was done, she held my elbow and took me back to the carriage.

"It'll be easier for you if you accept it and hold your head up high," Vix whispered. "He likes a bit of backbone. You are safe for a time. Use that time wisely, and perhaps he'll let you live in the end."

I stepped back into the carriage. The driver got us rolling again, and I gripped the seat every time we hit a bump. The entourage camped in the woods when night fell, but Vix had Ronnie and me sleep in the carriage. I tried to doze off, but every time I opened my eyes, Vix was wide awake and alert, a dagger in her hands.

"Do I need one of those?" I asked when I caught her eye.

She hesitated before shaking her head. "I heard a rumour that you killed a pooka once. Is that true?"

"Yes, but I didn't mean to." I cleared my throat. "I've meant to kill since then, though."

She nodded. "Good. It might see you through. This place... isn't what you're used to."

I looked out the window. Pairs of soldiers paced while others drank beside camp fires. Sadler must have had a large army if he could spare so many on what was essentially an escort mission.

I glanced up at the lilac moon and wondered if Brendan knew what had happened, if he would do anything, or if anyone was worried. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamt of telling my mother she was going be a grandmother. I woke up before I could see her reaction.

The journey began again. The carriage was probably slightly more comfortable than riding on horseback, but I missed Dubh and riding through the faery realm atop him, despite how dangerous it had been. At least it had been danger I was willing to confront. I had never volunteered to face Sadler.

As the carriage moved closer to the castle of the Court of Chaos, my worries grew. Sadler was my baby's grandfather. Ronnie had killed Sadler's son. My friends had stolen a child from Sadler's grasp already. Was there any chance for me and my baby?

I chewed on my thumbnail when the castle grounds came into view. In the dark, the place looked old and unkempt.

When the carriage stopped, Vix helped me out and led me through a large arch and into the castle. I expected to see Sadler, but all was dark and quiet. We climbed a set of spiral stone stairs. At the top, Vix shoved me inside a circular room.

"What now?" I asked.

Ignoring me, she slammed the door shut. I flinched as the key turned in the lock. There was no candle and no lamp, no light save the moon's glow through the window. I gazed out across the trees surrounding Sadler's castle and wondered if I would ever leave again.

Chapter Fifteen

I barely slept. The bed was small and uncomfortable, more of a wooden pallet than an actual bed. The round stone-walled prison was the topmost room in one of the towers, and it was cold and windy. I couldn't believe my ridiculously bad luck. I had avoided Sadler's grasp so many times, only to be led right to him by Ronnie, of all people. That idiot should hate Sadler as much as I did.

Then I felt bad. It wasn't her fault she was insane. That lay on Deorad's shoulders. With a shiver, I remembered that he was my baby's grandfather by blood. How had my life gotten so twisted?

When the sun began to rise, I stood at the window and watched, breathless with awe. The lilac moon slowly disappeared, melding into a red-gold sun that stretched its beams far and wide, touching every surface with light. The Darkside could actually be beautiful sometimes.

My stomach grumbled. I wondered if anyone would remember to feed me. I leaned out the window in an attempt to see more of the grounds. The stone wall was crumbling in places. A mass of tents stretched out of my line of sight, and I wondered why faeries were camping outside their castle.

Shouts from below caught my attention. Soldiers rode toward the gates, kicking up clouds of dust. They were chased by some servants wearing billowing black dresses, their hair hidden in black caps. The women called out obscenities to the soldiers, holding up their skirts as they ran through the dirt courtyard. The soldiers laughed as they galloped off.

One of the servants lost her cap in a gust of wind. Her hair was a brassy blond, but two inches of her roots were coal black. She hurriedly grabbed her head covering and slapped it back over her hair. The rest of the servants giggled and whispered together.

Then, one of them spotted me. She pointed, and the others lowered their heads and rushed inside. Maybe if I stood there every morning, someone would remember me.

Feeling defeated, I sat on my bed and twisted the green and silver bracelet around my wrist. A little while later, I heard noises in the hall.

Two females and one male servant, all dressed in black, opened the door and peered in, suspicion and fear in their eyes. Maybe they had heard the pooka rumour, too. I glared at them. One of the women squealed and stepped back, stamping on the male's foot. He lost his balance and grabbed both women to steady himself. I did my best to hold in a giggle as all three of them fell back against the doorway.

"It's... we're to bring you to get ready," the male said, panic in his eyes.

I channelled Sorcha in hopes of making them too afraid to hurt me. "Ready for what?" I demanded as haughtily as possible.

"I... we..."

I thought he might wee himself on the spot, so I shrugged. "Fine. Let's go."

The three of them flinched. What did they think I was going to do?

They led me into the hallway and down the stairs. Four black-armoured soldiers joined us at the next landing. Their faces were hidden, but I made sure I caught each of their gazes. I did the infamous Cara Kelly stare, but I supposed it didn't have as much of an effect in the faery realm. I was taken to a small bathing room, nothing extravagant, just one claw-toed bath in the centre of a small room. The soldiers waited outside.

The male bowed. "This is where you'll dress."

I folded my arms. "In front of you?"

"No, no, of course. I mean, I..." He fled the room.

The two women giggled then stopped abruptly when I looked at them.

"I can bath myself. I can wash my own hair. How about you two get me whatever stupid-looking dress that idiot king wants me to wear, and we'll push on with our day, all right?"

They exchanged a terrified glance before leaving me alone.

One of the soldiers stepped in as I was about to get undressed.

"Do you mind?" I snapped. "Get out."

He hesitated. "You're not to commit suicide."

I rolled my eyes. "I'll try not to. Oh, just get out and let me have a bath already!"

When he left, I froze for a moment as his words sank in. They thought I might hurt myself. Drake had warned me that would be preferable to being a captive in the Darkside. Did my friends assume I was already dead? I shivered at the thought. No, Grim and Realtín would never give up on me.

I bathed as quickly as possible, but the water was soothing. My hips hurt after the journey and the crappy night I'd had.

The women returned as I stepped out of the bath. One of them left at the sound of my belly rumbling then returned with some fruit.

"Is this safe?" I asked.

She hesitated before taking a bite of a grape. When she didn't go into convulsions, I decided to eat before I starved to death. They dried and dressed my hair while I munched.

"What's the dress like?" I asked. I wasn't sure what was going on yet, but maybe the dress would hold a clue.

One of the women held up a white dress that looked like gossamer.

"Am I being sacrificed?" I stood abruptly. "Is that what this is?"

"No, no." The woman held the dress behind her back. "It's the slip. That's all. The baby. The baby. We wouldn't hurt the baby. We can't."

Well, that was one clue. Sadler wanted to hold my baby hostage, maybe to force Drake into a war or to make Brendan to bend to his will. I couldn't imagine that going down well at all. In fact, if anyone was ever going to rescue me, they were running a little late.

A woman burst through the door. "Hurry! Time is running out."

The two servants freaked out and started running around like headless chickens. I never thought I would miss the pixies. I picked up the slip and tried it on. It fit perfectly.

One of the women grabbed my hand, her purple eyes widening with fear. She stared at my bracelet as if it were made of poison. "No! You can't wear this."

I pulled my hand out of her grasp. "Hell, yes, I can wear this."

The two women exchanged a worried glance, which made me nervous, but I was going to take Vix's advice and hold my head high.

"Someone's coming," I said. "That's why we have to hurry. But what are we hurrying for? What's going on?"

They ignored me and draped a long black overlay on top of the slip, fidgeting with the fabric to ensure my wrists were covered. They piled my hair so high and tight on my head that my neck hurt. They left my feet and face bare, for which I was grateful. No matter how many questions I asked them, they refused to speak to me.

One of them brought in a mirror. I looked pale and insignificant in the dark material, stark and human with my hair scraped back so tight.

"It's time," one of the women whispered. "We have to get you to the main hall. It'll be quick, then you can rest."

We stepped into the hallway then walked down and stood outside a huge doorway.

"They're not ready," a soldier murmured.

"Ready for what?" I asked.

Nobody answered. My panic grew.

A minute later, the door opened, and we stepped into a great hall. It was completely empty.

"Stand her by the steps," one of the soldiers said. "He'll be here soon."

"Who will?" I demanded. "What the hell is going on here?"

Someone stepped into my line of sight and cleared his throat. He had coal-black skin, a hunched back, and white-rimmed pupils that managed to look both demonic and kind all at once. "You're to wait here for your husband," he said. "This is your wedding dress for your wedding day."

And then the world toppled.

A soldier caught me and steadied me on my feet. "No need for the theatrics," he said gruffly. "It's better than death."

Drake's advice came to mind: It was better to kill myself than be caught by Sadler's men. I snatched the soldier's dagger from where it hung at his waist. Before I could even figure out if I wanted to use it on me or him, a pale hand gripped my wrist.

"No!" Vix said. "No. This isn't how it's played." She squeezed and twisted until I dropped the knife.

I refused to wince, though my heart raced. I needed to choke down on my emotions, save them up, and unleash them like a weapon.

Vix let go of my arm, and I ran. I didn't get far. I screamed, fought, and struggled, but I was alone against many.

"Think of the child," someone whispered. "Do whatever he requests."

"I can't." I was forced to walk by a soldier. "I can't do this."

"See she gets a little help," someone called out from behind us.

I looked around and gasped. Sadler walked toward me like a young man, as if he hadn't been an old man nearing death the last time I saw him. Everything about him was different, impossibly so. Even his white hair had darkened.

"How?" I whispered. "How did you do that?"

"Darling," he said mockingly, "it's our wedding day. No need for questions."

The darkness and misery of the Darkside filled me up, but still I struggled. He was going to force the mother of his great-grandchild to marry him. I almost got sick in my mouth. And with a pang, I remembered what had happened to his first wife, what Brendan had done. I decided then and there that I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of my tears.

I held up my head and looked him in the eye. "You won't get what you want. I promise you that much."

He laughed. "Isn't she a delight? Don't worry, girl. I don't want you. I want the baby in your womb. Child of one king, heir to another, and soon to be mine. You can die peacefully after you give birth and not a moment before."

I tried to strike out, but Vix gripped my arm and twisted it behind my back.

"Step back," he said. "My doctor will fix her."

A couple of the fae shivered. Somebody went running, but heavy footsteps were already sounding in the hallway. I watched the door, wondering why everyone seemed fearful. Vix's grip tightened even as she stepped away from me.

I stared with apprehension as a man strode into the room. He wasn't tall, but there was something intimidating about his posture. He wore a hooded robe, only a tiny gap in the fabric over his face allowing him to breathe. He pounded a staff on the floor as he walked. The top of the red stick reached his shoulder. The tip was shaped like a snake's head, with some kind of glass was embedded in the snake's mouth. The length was decorated with bones and cloth, and it rattled when he moved. As he got closer, I thought he smelled like death.

"Doctor," Sadler said, "make her see she really wants this."

The doctor moved behind me. Vix shimmied out of his way and averted her eyes. Then, something ice-cold touched the back of my neck. Waves of power ran through me. My body buckled with the shock. I wanted to scream, but my throat had constricted. I clutched at my neck, struggling to breathe. Most of the fae refused to look at me, but Sadler watched me with a sadistic smile.

A tall soldier caught me and held me up when I would have collapsed to the floor. The pain soared through my veins, an indescribable agony. My vision grew red and blurry, and my body jerked wildly. The baby kicked frantically.

"Stop," I whimpered, holding my stomach.

"Enough," Sadler said.

The doctor stepped away. The pain took a few more moments to ease.

"That's your first lesson." Sadler patted my cheek. "If you obey, I won't give you pain, unless I'm bored. If you irritate me, I'll make sure your child is half dead when it crawls out of your womb. You have the choice to die here or do what we say and save your half-breed babe. Do you understand me?"

I nodded dumbly, my eyes glistening with tears I refused to allow fall.

"Hurry," someone called from the door. "It's time."

"Let's get this over and done with," Sadler said. "Nobody can say I don't sacrifice for the realm." He looked at me with disgust then took my hand in a tight grip.

An elderly fae approached. I closed myself off as he began the marriage ceremony. I barely heard the words that tied me to a madman. I whimpered when our wrists were tied together, almost exactly the same way as Brendan had been tied to me but with black rope. I wanted to die.

When the rope burned, it left a black mark on my wrist. I stared at it as the officiator continued, wondering if my so-called wedding would earn me a permanent scar.

"Speak," Sadler growled in my ear.

I blinked a couple of times. The doctor pounded his staff on the floor.

"Are you willing?" the elder fae asked, looking uncomfortable.

I stared back, unable to say the words. A soldier pulled out a sword and aimed it at my stomach. I looked down and made my choice.

"I'm willing," I whispered and knew I was lost.

And then it was over. Someone began to clap politely but was abruptly silenced.

Sadler blew out a sigh of relief. "And now we wait."

***

I sat in a high-backed throne made of stone, afraid to move because of the dagger at my throat. Noises surged outside the castle, and I heard shouting.

"Do not move," Sadler said under his breath. "If you shame me, I'll cut you open right now and take my chances. I'm happy for war, my dear. Happy enough if you are the cause of it. Do you understand me? For the next few months, you will be my queen. If you please me, your death will be swift."

I didn't look at him or respond. I was waiting for someone to come, to do something, to help me. I couldn't bear the thought of living in that castle—queen of the Dark Court in name only. They would hardly treat me well.

The doors burst open. A crowd filled the great hall. A dozen soldiers stepped in front of the thrones and took up a protective stance before Sadler.

"Ah," Sadler rose, stretching out his arms. "Have you come to congratulate me already? The feast isn't until—"

"You stole from me," Brendan bellowed, making everyone fall silent.

Drake and Sorcha stood next to him, arm in arm. I saw Arlen and recognised some others, but I couldn't look at them for too long. I had been forbidden to do so, and I felt the cool steel against my skin.

"Stole?" Sadler asked as if astonished. "My court, my people, have I stolen something?"

Murmurs spread throughout the room. Sadler was smiling, obviously enjoying himself. He was psychotic. A whimper slipped through my lips. His jaw clenched, but he didn't look at me.

"You've taken my heir," Brendan said. "I announced that I would—"

"An heir?" Sadler frowned. "I don't recall attending such a ceremony."

Brendan's hands fisted. "You knew about it."

"I think there's been a misunderstanding," Sadler said brightly. "Today is my wedding day. Are you here to congratulate my bride?" He hauled me to my feet and pressed his lips against mine.

I fought him off, but someone yanked my hair and shoved me back into my seat.

"These shy brides." Sadler chuckled. "As they say, a lady in the ballroom, but once they hit the bedroom..."

"Do I understand you correctly?" Brendan asked. "You stole her... and married her? You forced her into marriage, Sadler? What kind of—"

"Be very careful," Sadler said. "This is my home. My day of celebration. And we all heard her say she was willing."

"At what cost?" Brendan asked. "How did you threaten her?" He sneered at the Darksiders. "And you all stood and watched, did you? A court to be proud of, I see."

"Are you even aware of your hypocrisy? You began this chain of events a long time ago. I only follow your lead." Sadler smiled. "And I thank you for it because, at last, the Dark Court will have a new heir, and apparently an heir with claims to all three thrones. Isn't that astonishing? It's funny how life works out."

Drake took a step forward. "There's no claim to my throne."

My cheeks burned at his words.

He inclined his head. "But we congratulate you on your wedding day, and we look forward to our invitation to your wedding feast. We will bring a gift."

Sadler looked taken aback. "Of course. You are all welcome to join us. It won't be a large affair. Will it, my dear?"

I was too busy staring at Drake in horror to reply.

Sadler slapped my face. I was too surprised to make a sound.

"Look at him only," Vix murmured from behind my chair.

My chest heaved with panic. Drake had decided to leave me stranded with Sadler. I wouldn't last. I wouldn't survive. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Brendan step forward.

"Cara..."

Drake pulled him back. They had a whispered exchange. Arlen joined them for a moment then stormed out of the room.

"Is there a problem?" Sadler asked. "You didn't crave her for yourself, did you?"

I swallowed hard, unable to see even Sadler anymore through my tears.

"No," Brendan said. "There is nothing wrong. We should leave. May I have a private moment to congratulate your bride?"

"Of course." Sadler sounded delighted. "Go to him, girl. Let him say goodbye. I look on with fondness."

Vix took my arm. "Don't do anything stupid."

As we walked over to Brendan, Drake refused to look at me, though even Sorcha had the heart to give me a pitying look. I wanted to throw up, pass out, wake up from the nightmare I was stuck in.

Brendan stared at me, his expression conflicted. "There's nothing I can do right now. If I find a way, if I can figure out how to—"

I stared at him, unable to hide my disappointment or hurt. His eyes held shame. He had promised me safety, and I had ended up wed to Sadler because of what Brendan had done to Sadler's wife all those years ago. It couldn't be real. It just could not be real.

"He won't harm you," he said. "You just need to last until the baby is born, and then he might give you back. We'll offer him something in return for you, and you can—"

"And leave my baby behind?" I whispered in horror. I took a few steps back. "You people... you people are nothing to me. You're just going to leave me here with him. After everything you both said. After everything I've been through. This isn't my fight. None of this is about me, so why am I the only one being punished?"

I didn't wait to hear his response. I turned blindly, shrugging off Vix's grasp, and made my way back to my seat.

Sadler sneered. "I'm glad to see you're so fond of my bride. We're all connected now. One big happy family. I look forward to seeing you at the wedding feast. I'm sorry you must leave so soon, but I need to take her to the marital bed and consummate this wonderful union."

I bit my lip until I tasted blood. I didn't check for Brendan's reaction, and I already knew Drake didn't care. I was stuck with a crazy faery king in the Darkside. I would never make it past the army outside. I didn't have Dubh or Bekind to help me, Grim to give me advice, or some unseen goddess to watch over me.

I was alone. Pregnant. Married. Desolate.

Chapter Sixteen

For hours after the faeries I thought I could trust left, a lump ached in my throat. Sadler glanced at me occasionally, probably expecting me to fall apart. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

He held court and made a show of me sitting next to him. He did pretty much exactly the same things as Brendan: listened to requests and pledges of fealty. But he seemed impatient, whereas Brendan saved his frustration until the day was over. I wondered how Drake handled it.

I watched and listened and tried to think of ways I could use something I heard to my advantage, but there was nothing. The more I observed the room, the more I noticed, however. Everyone wore black. The majority of soldiers and servants had black eyes. All of the women, bar Vix, had white to ash-blond hair. Most had different coloured roots. Many had painted their skin with white makeup. Some had even drawn freckles across their noses and cheeks. And no wings showed. The Dark Court was all-out creepy.

When Sadler broke for dinner, Vix bade me to follow. A group of faeries I assumed were the important people in court shared dinner with him. I sat at one end of a long table, he at the other. In between sat an array of faeries I didn't recognise. Behind them stood soldiers, some I did recognise, such as Vix and Reynard. He had been cleaned up a little. He leered at me and winked. I was going to have trouble with him if I didn't stand up to him soon.

A woman with a cape of black feathers that completely covered one of her arms leaned across the table and snatched food out of another faery's mouth. I waited for an outburst, but none came.

Somebody's cloven feet made constant noise under the table. A toothless faery scratched her talons on the table as empty plate after empty plate was laid in front of her. I shrank back when a serpent-tongued fae spat close to my plate.

As much as I watched them, they watched me. Two women talked about me as if I weren't sitting right there, pointing out my physical faults as though participating in some kind of game. I wanted to glare at them, but I was too weak, too afraid of what would happen.

I stared at my food, my hands on my lap. If I looked up, I would see the doctor, and I hated him. I feared him, too. I had heard his moans of pleasure when he hurt me.

My mind frantically raced. I was desperate to come up with a plan. I kept a firm rein on my feelings. I refused to let Sadler's court enjoy any bit of me.

After dinner, even before everyone had finished eating, Sadler stood and pointed at me. "I've found myself a queen." His tone was cruel and mocking.

We all knew I wasn't a queen. I was a placeholder because I had something he could one day bargain with. Brendan had made a vow, so he would be forced to act if Sadler directly threatened the child. But Brendan had his own escape route—a marriage of his own. Then, he could forget all about me. Drake had already forgotten.

"And now it's time to make a woman out of her."

The faeries began to slow clap. My head snapped up, and I caught Sadler's eye. He looked so pleased, as if punishing me was fixing something broken inside him. I shuddered involuntarily, and his look turned grim.

"Reynard!" he bellowed. "Take her to my room while I... prepare myself. If she protests, call the doctor."

I glared at Sadler, making sure he knew how much he disgusted me. It was a pathetically small bit of power, but I would use it until it broke. I repulsed him, too, so how far would he go?

Reynard swaggered to my side. I eyed the knife hanging by his hip.

"Don't even think about it," Vix murmured, moving to my other side. I felt an ounce of relief that I wouldn't be alone with Reynard.

As we walked out of the room and up the stairs to Sadler's quarters, I felt numb. If he touched me, I wouldn't be able to control myself. I wouldn't be able to just lie there.

Reynard's hand rested on my lower back before travelling south.

I elbowed him. "I dare you," I whispered fiercely. "You're not the scariest thing I've faced."

He laughed, slapping my backside. "You're the funniest I've faced. Get on with you. Nobody keeps a king waiting."

Sadler's room was guarded by soldiers. They patted me down before they let me enter.

Reynard tried to follow, but one of the soldiers stepped in front of him. "No," the black-garbed soldier said in a strange rumbling voice.

Reynard laughed, but it was harsh, as though he were playing it off.

The door closed, leaving me alone in the room. The fire in the grate did nothing to take away the chill or warm the barren appearance. The room said nothing at all about its owner, except perhaps that the owner was hollow inside. I stood in the centre, my body shuddering uncontrollably.

A few minutes later, the door opened, and a wingless faery was shoved into the room. Sadler strode in after her and made his way to me. His eyes were dazed, as if he were drunk. He gripped my face with one hand and squeezed.

He looked as though he were going to kiss me, then he pushed me away, his revulsion clear. "Get on the bed," he ordered.

I shook my head and took a step back. He slapped my cheek so hard that I tasted blood.

"Now." He unbuckled his belt. "Unless you want to bleed to death tonight."

Shaking, I slipped under the blanket, still fully dressed. With a snarl, he whirled the faery around to make her face the wall. I closed my ears to the sounds of his moaning as he pressed against her. He bit her neck then threw her on the bed next to me. He hadn't undressed, but I caught sight of some mottled grey patches of skin on his hands.

His female friend kicked me aside and gathered him to her, a hysterical tinge to her laughter. I inched to the edge of the bed, desperate to get away. He ignored me completely as I half-fell out of the bed and crawled across the floor to the door. I heard a slap, followed by the faery's frightened cry, but I didn't look back. When she whimpered, I jumped to my feet and opened the door. As Sadler swore at her, I slipped outside and closed the door behind me.

The two soldiers looked over at me, but they didn't seem particularly surprised. My heart raced as I waited for Sadler to come after me or for the soldiers to send me back inside. I couldn't see their faces to get a grasp on what they would do next.

"You can't leave," one said. I recognised his voice. He was the one who had stopped Reynard.

"Let her sit there then," Vix called from down the hall. She was walking away with the white-eyed hunchback. She turned a corner and didn't look back. The hunchback did.

"Sit," the same soldier rumbled when they were gone.

I sank against the wall next to the door. The soldiers resumed their post, ignoring the screams emanating from the room. That could have been me screaming my head off while people stood outside and did nothing. I pressed my hands against my ears as a thought occurred to me. Had Deorad learned his hair obsession from Sadler? Was the king punishing someone he thought resembled his long-dead wife? In court, only the soldiers had dark hair like mine.

I couldn't stop shivering. One of the soldiers flung a cloak at me. I looked up, but both were facing forward, though I thought I saw Rumble twitch.

"Thank you," I whispered, wrapping the cloak around me. I wondered if Rumble had done it because I had been named queen. Whatever the reason, I was grateful.

***

I woke up aching. I had slept on the cold, hard floor all night. The soldiers were whispering, arguing about something, but as I sat up, they silenced. The bedroom door opened, and the faery stepped out and limped down the hall, naked and shivering. She was covered in bite marks and bruises.

I found it very hard to breathe. At the end of the hall, a window told me it wasn't yet dawn.

The hunchbacked man approached the soldiers. "I don't think the king would like people to know his queen had slept on the floor all night."

"He's asleep," Rumble said. "And we can't leave him. Not for a human."

"Not for your queen? I'll take her to her room. They've made it ready for her."

"You can answer to him."

"I guarantee you he won't ask," the hunchback said. "We wanted a queen. That's what we've gotten. We may as well treat it so."

Rumble made a sound of acceptance. "Try not to kill it then."

"It will die sooner on a draughty floor," the hunchback said. "Help it up."

Rumble lifted me to my feet with more gentleness than I would have expected. My limbs were stiff and sore. I took off the cloak and made to hand it to the guard. He refused to look at me. I glanced at the hunchback, and he gestured at the floor.

I folded the cloak as best I could and carefully laid it on the floor. "Thanks again."

"Come," the hunchback said. "There's a fire in your room and a better bed. You'll be slightly more comfortable. There are clothes, should you wish to change. If you seek different clothing then feel free to ask the servant who brings you breakfast. Sadler doesn't rise early, so you will get some sleep before then."

"Who are you?" I asked, limping after him. We headed up the stairs, and I figured I was going back into the tower.

"You may call me... Bart," he said, sounding amused.

"And is this my every day now, Bart? Sitting in that hall, sneaking out of Sadler's room, and being sent to bed by Bart?"

He smiled at me. It was the first true smile I had seen in the Chaos Court. "Not quite. You'll attend court if you're sent for, and only then. You'll be allowed to explore part of the castle with an escort."

"Can I go outside?"

"Eventually. Don't worry. We're not monsters. We'll treat you with respect."

"And those who don't?" I asked, thinking of Reynard.

"It depends on what mood the king is in."

We reached my room. At the door, Bart hesitated. "Do you need anything right now?"

I shook my head. He turned to leave.

I called out after him. "Thanks."

He looked back, that same smile on his face, and waved before continuing down the hall. But as soon as I closed the door, the key turned in the lock as if by magic. I shrugged. Maybe it would keep me safe.

My small tower room was warmer than Sadler's. There was a decent fire, with more coal and turf and wood in barrels next to it. The pallet had been replaced with a real bed, small but definitely more comfortable. A wardrobe and a set of drawers had been brought in, full of black clothing. A bedside table sat next to the bed. On it was a lamp and some books. I found something in the drawers that looked warm and bedtime-ish, changed, and fell into my new bed.

I slept until someone unlocked the door. One of the women who had helped me the day before entered.

"I'm to ask what you like to eat," she said, keeping her eyes averted. "And if there is anything in particular you would like to wear. There's a dressmaker who can help you if you desire."

"Can I have a bath?"

"After you eat," she whispered. She looked at me then, still cautious. "If there's ever anything you need, you're supposed to ask me."

"What's your name?"

"Don't have one."

Goosebumps rose on my arms. Deorad hadn't been given a name either. "Then how does anyone call you?"

She licked her lips, her gaze travelling anywhere but directly at me. "Rat."

"What?"

"They say, "Rat," when they want me to look."

I swallowed a smart remark. "And why's that?"

"Because of the dog." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"Right." I had woken up feeling stronger, more determined. I had to show the Dark Court what I was made of. "Well then, I want breakfast and a bath, and then the dressmaker can come see me."

She nodded and got on with things. I couldn't call her Rat to her face.

Later that morning, the dressmaker arrived. She looked older than the maid, but she was dressed almost exactly the same.

"I'll make adjustments to the clothes I already made," she said. "I based them on the measurements I figured when I saw you at the provings, but those have changed by now."

"Everything's black," I said as she pulled out some clothes.

"It's all we're allowed."

"Everyone?"

She spoke around pins she held in her mouth. "Except the doctor. He can do what he likes. He's not... one of us."

"Neither am I," I muttered.

She adjusted some of the clothes and made some plans for new items.

"We could try some styles that are fashionable in the human realm," she said eagerly.

"But they have to be black. What about... accessories? Must everything be black?"

She smiled. "He only mentioned dresses. You're not to wear trousers. Only dresses. Not as... provocative as the other courts like to wear."

"Could I get... paint for my skin?"

She blinked a couple of times. "You want to whiten your skin?"

"No, I need some colour. Bright colours. Can you make wings?"

"Wings?" She sounded faint.

"I'm supposed to be the queen, right? So I shouldn't look exactly the same as everyone else."

She winced. "Don't push too far."

I folded my arms. "Can you do it or not?"

"I'll... I'll see what I can do." She swallowed hard. "Is there anything else?"

I gave a short laugh. "I'm sure I'll think of something." I knew I was playing with fire, but the fae forgot me so easily that I had to make my own mark. Sadler needed my baby alive, so that gave me some room to manoeuvre if I could just figure out the rules.

I had the dressmaker cut away most of the skirt of the least repulsive dress, making it shorter and lighter. She wasn't as creepy as Needle Fingers, but I kind of missed the silent dressmaker.

When she left, I dressed and waited. Rat came into the room and stopped short, her eyes on my scarred calf. Score one for Cara.

"What...?" She swallowed hard, trembling. "Is it true? Is that... is that the mark of a fenris?"

I glanced at my bare calf. "Yeah, why? Doesn't anyone here have one?"

Her eyes widened so much that I laughed.

"I'm joking. But yes, the fenris did it. It's not so deep. He kind of missed."

"Then you've really been to the Fade?" Her face paled. "I should..." She fled, locking the door behind her.

I read a book until Bart arrived.

He gave me a long, hard look. "You scared the maid."

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the page in front of me.

"And the word went around the castle. Now everyone is talking about the warrior queen of the Dark Court."

I tried not to smile.

"May I see?" he asked.

I twisted my leg so he could see. The starburst scar on my shoulder was visible, too, but Bart's eyes were drawn right to the scarring on my calf.

"Interesting," he said in a tight voice. "You've been called to court. Please accompany me downstairs."

He escorted me into the great hall, where people had gathered. Sadler hadn't shown up yet. Bart led me to the chair next to Sadler's. As I was about to sit down, Reynard moved as if to help me only to cop a feel of my boobs.

"You're running out of chances," I said in a loud voice.

He laughed until he realised nobody was joining in. I stared at him until he stepped away, then I sat. Behind me, Vix made a sound that might have been laugh.

I looked out at the court and tried not to react to the many faces and stares. I needed to be careful. I needed to be untouchable. I needed to make them too afraid to hurt me. I needed to harden my heart some more. And as soon as I got a chance, I needed to get the hell out of there. I crossed my legs and dangled my ankle, making sure my scarred calf was visible. If it scared a maid, maybe it would work on others.

When Sadler arrived, the tension in the room ratcheted upward. I stayed seated when he approached his throne. He didn't look at me, but the doctor touched me with his staff again, and my back arched of its own accord. I gripped the arms of my chair and held on until the spasms passed. I didn't make a sound.

When it was over, Sadler was looking right at me. "A day in court and already your name is the one on everyone's lips," he said mockingly. "And all because of a few ugly scars. Amazing."

"If you saw the fenris, your tone would be more respectful." I immediately regretted my response.

Sadler laughed. "A fenris, was it?"

"We didn't come to the Darkside for the parties."

"That you didn't. So it's true then. Brendan escaped the Fade twice. Typical of his luck." He stood. "And how lucky we are to have a queen who isn't afraid of the Fade nor the fenris. We should all thank the gods for her presence." He sneered down at me. "Her reputation precedes her."

I tried not to flinch, but he had forgotten about me already. I wondered if I would have been called to court if people hadn't been talking about me. Then I realised that he probably wouldn't kill his queen in front of all of his subjects. I was safe if I was at court all day.

All day, I observed as the king barely listened to his subjects. He seemed to be as repulsed by them as he was by me. The entire court wore black, making it look as though we were at some kind of never-ending funeral.

A couple of poor-looking fae in faded black clothes begged for food, but Sadler had them sent away. I thought back to the meal the night before. I hadn't been able to eat a thing, but the portions had been tiny. Maybe things weren't as resplendent in the Dark Court as the king wanted the realm to believe.

That evening, Sadler announced it was time for dinner. Reynard volunteered to escort me. I stood, and he caught a cheap thrill by groping me. I was going to kill him someday, I promised myself. When I pulled away, the arm of my dress tore with a loud ripping sound.

Everyone went quiet, and Reynard's face paled. He had gone too far in public. I sucked in a breath, ready to take advantage of the situation, but he got in there first.

"Look at what she's wearing!" he roared, pointing at my wrist.

He grabbed my arm and held it high. Anyone nearby could plainly see the woven green and silver bracelet I wore every day.

Sadler stepped down from his throne and approached me. He stared at the bracelet for a long time, his mouth twitching. When he looked into my eyes, I saw humour hidden in those depths. He twirled me around to face the crowd, holding me against his chest.

One of his hands still gripped my wrist. "Look at my wife." His other hand covered my stomach. "See how she wants a united realm. She wants us to rule all. Don't you, dear?"

I swallowed hard. "There should never be three kings."

He released me, apparently satisfied. "So they say. Doctor, the queen needs a little attending to."

Sadler left, and two soldiers gripped my arms.

"Put her on her throne," the doctor said, unable to contain the glee in his voice.

Vix and Bart walked out without looking back. Reynard stood to the side and watched with fascination. Most of the court seemed to forget that a break had been called. They all gawked up at me.

The doctor made them strap me to the chair. I couldn't escape, couldn't even struggle. I hoped if I took the punishment quietly, he would be satisfied and leave me alone. But when the first spasm of pain came, I knew he wouldn't. He began to laugh, and the sound was more terrible than anything I had ever heard. He wouldn't let me go until I screamed.

The pain wasn't as bad as the first time, but it was more frequent, giving me no chance to recover before more came. The doctor used his staff over and over again, even as my body violently jerked. The ropes kept me secure but made it hard to breathe. As each spasm came on top of the next, my chest grew tight.

I refused to scream or moan. Instead, I looked out at the court and caught the eye of each person, one by one. Most of them turned away. Some looked disgusted. Reynard kept watching, but he looked disturbed when I glared at him. And then I turned my gaze on the doctor. His face was hidden, so I couldn't tell if he was looking into my eyes, but I stared at him and threw everything I was feeling into it. I watched him until I stopped breathing and everything turned black.

I came to briefly, and someone was carrying me. I heard somebody shouting about a baby. Maybe it was me.

Chapter Seventeen

The next morning, I could barely lift my head from the pillow when Rat scurried into the room. She kept her head bowed as she put a plate on the night stand. When she turned to leave, I noticed a bulge at the back of her dress where her trapped wings were trying to move. Depressed and frustrated, I nibbled at the grapes, the only food I recognised.

Later, I was taken to court. Some of the people had dressed similarly to the way I had been dressed the day before. I sat in my mini-throne and barely listened to anything that was said. Sadler didn't acknowledge me. The doctor wasn't around. I was escorted back to my room when they broke for dinner. I was given no food.

The next morning, when I awoke, the sun was high in the sky. No breakfast. No fire. No company. Outside, people were arriving for court. So I hadn't been summoned for that, either. No way was I going to let myself be forgotten. That was the biggest danger for a human amongst faeries, far more than the torture and tormenting. I ripped the most ridiculous dresses from the wardrobe, one by one.

I waited until a huge group of people walked below the tower. "I want my breakfast!" I stuffed a dress out of the window. The faeries looked up at me.

"Right now!" I shouted as loud as I could manage, throwing out another dress.

The fae gathered beneath my window. A few snatched up a dress and ran. I shouted ridiculous demands and waited for somebody to come and shut me up. The door unlocked as I was shoving a particularly poofy dress through the window. I turned to see Rat standing on the threshold, twisting her fingers together anxiously.

"Stop it," she said. "You have to stop that."

I advanced on her, my wedding dress in my hands. "Are you telling me what to do?"

She shook her head, her eyes widening.

"Good. Last I was told, I'm the queen around here, and the queen had better be bloody well fed each and every day. If I die before this baby is born, then Sadler is fucked, and who do you think he's going to blame?"

She squirmed, her eyes darting to the door.

"I want my breakfast, and a bath, and... a hat," I said.

"A hat?" The random request was enough to stop her shaking. "You want a hat?"

"Yes," I said, thinking hard. "I want... a neon-green top hat with a big silver band. And some black lace." I tried not to laugh. "That's exactly what I want. Can you get that for me?"

"Um, I..." She cleared her throat. "Well, it'll take a few days, and you're supposed to go downstairs to court."

"I'll have breakfast then a bath, and I'll think about going downstairs after lunch."

She looked as if she might have a heart attack.

"It's okay," I said gently. "If you're scared to tell then pass the message onto Reynard."

"The Fox?"

"Yep. If he's so familiar with the queen, then he can be in charge of bringing her wishes to the king's attention." I was definitely enjoying myself.

"Yes," she said a little more firmly. "Of course. I'll... I'll get you something to eat, my lady."

As soon as she left, I jumped on the bed and buried my laughter into a pillow. If Sadler thought he could kidnap me and not have me screw with his court, then he had another think coming.

Rat returned with some fruit.

"Is that it?" I asked. "I'm going to starve if this is all I eat every day."

Rat's cheeks burned. "I... we're forbidden to go to the human realm. So we can't get the food you would like. The only food we have available is that suitable for... well, the pure-blooded fae."

"And that might as well be manure," I said wryly. "So what does everyone else eat?"

"Whatever they can get their hands on."

"And what about the tents outside? Why are those people always hanging around, begging?"

"Begging?" She cupped her chin, looking as if she were about to claw her skin with her nails. "They... they have nowhere else to go. Their lands are too tainted to live on, so they come here for help."

"Why don't they go to the other kings if Sadler isn't helping them? He obviously doesn't care."

"He can't..." She shook her head. "Nobody is allowed to leave. This is our court, the only place we're wanted. We're Darksiders, my lady. That's all we'll ever be. Nobody wants us."

I frowned. The Darksiders were camping in the courtyard like refugees. And there apparently wasn't enough food to go around. Whenever I looked outside, I saw the same soldiers. Had Sadler just given the appearance of a large army?

Rat left and returned with three boxes from the dressmaker. Inside the first two were a couple of rockabilly style dresses she had made especially for me. In the last box was a pair of rainbow wings. I stood there, stunned, as Rat put them on me. I hadn't really expected the dressmaker to come through. She sent some body paint, too, but I figured I should aim for one small rebellion a day. The wings might have counted as a significant revolt.

Rat sighed as she took in my appearance. "Why would you ruin such a nice dress with wings?"

"Can I see your wings?" I asked.

Her chubby cheeks flooded with colour, and she made her excuses and left. I was surprised that nobody tried to force me to go to court. They let me do what I liked all morning, apart from leave, of course. But it was as if they thought I deserved it after the treatment I had received the evening before. I had read disapproving looks and sensed discontent amongst the court. I just had to stir the pot a little. Brendan had claimed his court was full of free fae. Maybe the Dark Court needed a change.

After I had a lunch of more fruit, Bart knocked on my door.

He performed a half-hearted bow. "It's time for court."

"I suppose I could make time."

He noticed the fake wings. "Well, that will make a statement of sorts."

"We can't let the other courts outdo us in the style stakes."

He laughed and offered his arm.

"What's your story?" I asked as we descended the stairs.

He smiled. "That's a long tale, one we don't have time for today. Try not to displease the king today. You're already pushing the limits, and it'll be hard on your child."

I stiffened. I would do anything to pave a path out of the Chaos Court, but it would likely take some suffering. I just had to hope that the baby was strong enough to survive whatever they put me through.

When we entered the great hall, all eyes turned to us. The fairies gasped then put their hands over their mouths. I smiled at some lesser fae. One actually blushed. I walked up to the throne, head held high in what I hoped was a regal manner, and took my seat next to Sadler. I ignored the doctor, who sat next to Reynard.

"Good morning," I said to Sadler, trying to look relaxed even though the wings made it so I couldn't sit back in my chair.

"Good afternoon," he replied evenly. He didn't even react to the wings. He was seven flavours of loony. I was going to drive him even crazier.

"Very daring of you," the doctor piped up.

"Am I not the queen?" I asked.

"For now," he said.

"If it's only going to be for four months, then I had better make the most of it," I snapped.

To my surprise, Sadler laughed. Everyone stilled until Sadler shouted, "Next!"

Soldiers dragged in a short faery with sharp teeth. I sucked in a gasp. I had seen him before. He was the elder who had invited us to join his tribe's celebrations. They had thought a king would help them. They were wrong.

"What's this?" Sadler asked impatiently when they dumped the man onto the floor.

When the guy tried to rise, they kicked him back down. My cheeks burned.

"Some of his tribe were hunting outside of their territory, stealing from the crown," one of the soldiers said. "He offered himself in their stead. He's their leader or father or something."

Sadler didn't even look at the man. "Take him outside and burn him."

"No, wait!" I clutched the arms of my chair, startled by how loudly I had spoken.

"Excuse me?" Sadler's expression turned dangerously mild.

"He doesn't deserve to die."

"She's weak," the doctor rasped. "It's humanity. Never strong enough to do what needs to be done. It's why their realm suffers so."

"Wait," I said. "When I was... here before, I travelled past this man's village. They were celebrating the fact that you had been crowned, celebrating a Darksider king. If you kill their leader, you'll force them to look elsewhere for leadership. Do you really want Darksiders to start turning to Brendan?"

Sadler stared at me for a long moment before turning his head to consider the old man. A trickle of blood ran down the man's cheek as he lay spread-eagled on the floor, devoid of dignity. No longer able to stand it, I ran down the steps to help him to his feet, the ridiculous wings bouncing as I moved.

I heard whispers of concern, but I had stayed quiet and let one faery be hurt by Sadler already. The man before me had welcomed Drake, Brendan, and me as strangers. I couldn't just watch him die. The old man took my hand and stood, looking unsure. I squeezed his hand, mostly to give myself a bit of comfort.

"You're his queen?" he murmured.

"Not by choice." I spun and faced Sadler. "If you kill him, you martyr him. You make other small tribes think of what it would be like if you killed their leader for no reason. These people are loyal. Don't drive them away."

"She's an imbecile," the doctor said. "She has no idea what—"

"He eats with us at dinner," Sadler said. "Then he goes home unharmed. I remember your kind now. Your people eat less than my wife does. I won't begrudge you the occasional rabbit. Now sit down, wife."

My heart racing, I let go of the old man's hand and took my seat with trepidation. I waited for the doctor to be told I needed attending to. Nothing happened.

They moved on to the next case. I tried not to look too relieved. I was pretty sure I had done enough to earn me another day at court, but I had no idea if Sadler had agreed with me out of fear of losing face or because he actually saw the wisdom in my words. I was on a knife-edge. Too much in the wrong direction would kill me.

But he really wanted my baby. That would afford me a little leeway. I vowed to pay more attention from then on. I had watched Brendan deal with his court. I had to have learned something.

At dinner, the plates were small again. The old man had pride of place next to Sadler. He barely ate, his eyes wide as he took in everything.

Sadler cleared his throat and looked at me. Everyone stopped eating to listen.

"You'll need to pick a dress for the wedding feast," he said in a gruff voice. "That means white. Do I need to tell you the colour of this court?"

I shook my head. "Can I choose anything I want apart from the colours?"

He shrugged. "You can turn up wrapped in a blanket for all I care."

"A blanket it is."

A couple of faeries close to me giggled into their napkins. Sadler went back to eating. I felt sick. What possessed me to open my mouth sometimes?

After dinner, Bart offered to escort me to my room. In the hallway, a red-haired man loitered, smoking a pipe. Instantly, the smell reminded me of my grandfather.

As we passed him, he gave a short, snide laugh. "The foreigner and the consort. There won't be any purebloods left at this rate. Sadler is too trusting of late."

I glanced at Bart. If possible, his back had hunched even more, and his head was lowered as his eyes gazed at the floor. I glared back at the man, but he had already moved on.

"You know, if you act like you're better than them, they'll start to believe it," I said.

Bart's mouth curved upward. "I prefer to be underestimated. That way, they never expect what's coming."

I thought about that until we reached my room.

Bart hesitated at the door. "Interesting tactics in court by the way."

"Tactics?" I asked as innocently as I could manage.

He smiled. "Just remember, the mischief makers lead dangerous lives."

He was one of the strangest-looking faeries in Sadler's court, and that was saying something. His eyes freaked me out, but I couldn't stop looking at them. He reminded me of a certain ever-smiling faery who had wanted me to sacrifice myself for his queen. I really hoped they weren't related.

"As long as they keep living, that's all that matters," I said.

"As long as you understand."

"Understand what? I'm just a human."

His smile turned into a grin. "That you are. See you on the morrow, my lady."

He bowed but not in an insulting way.

I slept well that night. The wedding feast was coming soon, and I would see Brendan and Drake again. I was mad at them, but I couldn't depend on anyone for anything. I had come to realise it was better that way. If they had come in fighting, they would have caused the war Sadler wished for. But if one little human disappeared from under a king's nose, nobody could do a lot about it, as evidenced by Sadler whipping me away from Brendan's court. I just hoped human queens counted, too.

***

The next morning, Rat helped me plaster paint on my skin.

"This is a bad, bad idea," she whispered.

"I did this all on my own. Don't worry," I said.

The dressmaker had given me every colour but green and silver.

I laughed as I rubbed my forearm. The blue colour that reminded me of Anya stayed. "This is going to be a nightmare to remove."

"It dissolves in water," Rat said. "Don't step outside in the rain."

"Thanks. You're a star." On a whim, I yanked up her sleeve and drew a star on her inner wrist in pink paint. It matched the pink tinge of her irises.

"Oh." She jumped, spilling some paint. She blushed furiously and started cleaning up the mess.

I knelt to help her, but that only embarrassed her further. A knock at the door interrupted us.

"Are we ready?" Bart asked, not batting an eyelid at my appearance.

I stood and took his arm. "What does it take to shock you, Bart?"

"You'll know when you manage it."

At court, lots of the women were wearing their skirts shorter than before, some of them even showing off their wings for a change. The old ball gowns were slowly vanishing, so I decided I needed one for the wedding feast. I had to stand out, no matter what I did. Nothing interesting happened that morning, nothing I could use anyway.

So at one point, when everyone in court was quiet, I piped up with, "Am I supposed to get you a gift?"

All eyes turned to me.

"Excuse me?" Sadler asked.

"A gift. Are brides supposed to give their husbands a gift here? I'm just a human. I don't know the customs."

"No." For some reason, he looked freaked out.

"Here, it's custom for the husband to give the wife a special gift," Bart called from across the room. "Something... meaningful.

Sadler scowled at the hunchback before sneering at me. "I suppose I owe you one, now that you've brought it up in front of the entire court."

"You have to get me a gift? That should be interesting."

He narrowed his eyes then whispered so only I could hear, "A lot of my life has been interesting lately. Maybe I'll remember my bed is empty of said bride and have her brought to my room every evening if she doesn't start giving me some peace."

I faced front and shut up. Disgusting old man.

Later that day, a young female was accepted into the hall. As she approached Sadler, the ginger-haired man who had scorned Bart jumped to his feet.

"Send her out of here!" he demanded. "She can't speak to the king."

Sadler looked at the man until he cowered. "Does the great Glic dare to tell me what to do?"

"No, no, of course not," Glic said. "This is a servant of mine. She speaks out of turn. I mean no harm."

"A servant of yours is a servant of the realm." Sadler nodded at the woman. "You may speak."

But instead of making her case to the king, she stepped up and gave me a bunch of red wildflowers.

"Thank you." I plucked one of the flowers and stuck it behind my ear. Then I took another and placed it in the young woman's hair. She was so startled she fell down the steps.

I made to help her, but Sadler grabbed my arm. "Do. Not. Move," he said through gritted teeth. "Reynard! What are you waiting for? Help her to her feet."

Giggles rippled through the room. The court was filling up with more spectators every day.

"What do you want, woman?" Sadler demanded when she stood on her feet again.

"Oh." She blinked at him, looking half-witted. "I just wanted to see the mark of the fenris, sir. I heard it heals."

"Heals?" He snorted. "I doubt a human's scar can heal."

"But they say she's been blessed by the goddess. Perhaps the goddess will look down on me if I'm close to her." She smiled at me, and my heart fluttered.

"Blessed. Superstitious lot." But Sadler sounded uneasy.

"Why do you need healing?" I asked.

She pressed her hands against her stomach. "I can't have the babies. And as you are blessed by the goddess of fertility... I thought... I hoped..."

I stood and walked toward her. "You can touch the scar if you like, but I'm not sure if it will help."

"Thank you," she whispered. She got to her knees and clutched at my calf. Then she started to cry.

"It's okay," I said.

"I'm not no woman without it. I don't work properly. I have to work properly to be of use." She glanced over at Glic. "Everyone says."

"Stop that. If anyone ever tells you that, you send them to me, and I'll stab him in the eye."

She laughed through her tears.

"You're a woman no matter what," I said firmly. "Whether you give birth to a child, take care of somebody else's, or never want to see a child, you're still a woman. You're as important as anyone else." I hugged her, moved by her pain but mostly thinking about what Anya was going through. She had the same doubts and fears. I missed her.

"If you've quite finished," Sadler said, "I'd like to eat today."

"What's your name?" I asked the woman.

She sniffed. "Marie."

I lifted my head. "I think Marie should eat with us. She must be hungry after the long wait. Do you ever feed the people who have to sit outside waiting to see you?"

He bristled. "Do you want me to feed the entire realm?"

"You're their king. Isn't it your job to take care of them?"

"Oh, enough of this. Set up a table in this room for those who are still waiting to see me. They can eat with my queen tonight." His tone was snide, as if he was delivering a punishment, but for me, it was a big relief. He glared at me and stalked out of the room, followed by the major players of the court. Glic lingered long enough to give both Marie and me a death stare.

The soldiers and servants set up tables and invited people inside. At least thirty lesser fae attended, staring at me with wary eyes. I moved from one table to another, greeting everyone, before I returned to my seat next to Marie.

"The master lives at court," she told me. "But we still have to take care of his family. He says we have to make an army for him to give to the king. His home is almost as big as a castle, but it's cold and damp, and the land doesn't work right. He never comes home. He did his duty by having a child to continue his family name. He doesn't care anymore. He stays at court and behaves like—" Her hands flew up to her face, her cheeks reddening. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be saying such things."

"It's okay. I'm human. I'm the lowest-ranking person in the realm."

She giggled. "You're the queen."

"Not for long," I said, realising a lot of lesser fae were listening in. "He just wants to take my baby. After she's born, I'm dead."

"I always thought being a queen was different, but you're just like the rest of us after all. But why does he want your baby?" Marie asked.

"Because she's the heir to the Green Court until the king there marries and has a child of his own."

"This makes no sense," an old man said at the other end of the table. "The royals and courts have lost their minds."

I shrugged. "They want power. They'll do what it takes to get it."

"We're all trapped," he whispered. "Not one of us is truly free."

"Not even the kings." I pushed my food around my plate.

Bart came in and sat at a neighboring table. The fae moved away as if he were diseased.

I got up and moved to a chair next to him. "You're Mr. Popular."

"We're not all glowing young women. Deformities are distrusted in these times."

"I saw a woman with cloven feet the other day. How is that not a deformity?"

He smiled. "That's the way she was supposed to be. I was never supposed to look like this. The poor are suspicious. Always will be."

"Can't really blame them," I said. "They don't know what goes on under this roof."

"I'm sure they know more than we think. And beware of the woman with cloven feet. She's a glaistig. Once a month, she lures men to their deaths by drinking their blood, but she's been known to branch out."

"I'm going to die anyway."

"Not necessarily," he said under his breath. "You have friends elsewhere, have you not? And you seem quite capable of making more."

"They can't help me without starting a war." I shook my head. "Doesn't seem quite worth it."

"Perhaps you're capable of helping yourself and them."

I stared at him as something came to me. Arlen had mentioned needing an assassin to get close to Sadler.

Bart glanced at my rapidly growing belly. "Your child has become valuable in these petty times. The child of a human. It's amusing to me."

I took a sip of water. "Why's that?"

"I like the unpredictable. Is it really true you entered the Fade?"

"I did. And I got knocked off my horse and had to escape from you Darksiders on foot. I found my way back to the Great Forest all by my lonesome. Humans can actually do something right on occasion."

His eyes twinkled as he looked at me. "Then I'm glad it was you who was chosen, and by a goddess, no less."

"It was technically her priestesses who saved my life, though."

He choked on his food. Coughing, he banged his fist against his chest. "You must tell me these stories some time. Some of them may even be true."

"So why are you being nice to me?"

"This isn't me being nice," he said. "This is me trying to understand what we have on our hands. But I think I like it."

"Why?"

He smiled. "I, too, am a mischief maker."

Chapter Eighteen

The dressmaker held on to the hat box. "Please don't drag me down with you."

I held out my hands. "If anyone asks, I'll say it was a gift from Reynard."

She looked as if she might smile as she handed it over. "It's your life to throw away."

After she left, I glanced at Rat. She was shivering in the corner, looking like an excited puppy.

"Wanna see?" I asked.

For a moment, I thought she was going to bolt out of the room. Then, she said, "Perhaps... just a peek."

Grinning, I opened the box and took out the hat. Though styled like a top hat, it was small enough to perch on the side of my head.

"Oh, no," she whispered. "You can't wear that to court."

But I was determined. "You need to leave. Nobody can say you saw me wearing it."

"I... thank you." She fled.

I stared at the ticking time bomb in front of me. I was pretty sure Brendan could see the neon-green colour all the way from the Green Court. Taking a deep breath, I pinned the hat to my head and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My dress accentuated my rapidly growing bump. The hat looked ridiculous with a silver band that wrapped around it and trailed down to my waist. Black lace covered half of the hat.

I adjusted it as best I could then patted my stomach. "I really hope I know what I'm doing, baby."

I walked over and opened the door. A soldier smothered a gasp.

"Time for court," I said in a shaky voice.

Two soldiers walked on either side of me as we descended the stairs, but they kept space between us as if to make sure everyone knew they didn't approve. I was definitely pushing my luck, but I had a plan of sorts, and I was going to stick to it because thinking about that was about a million times more preferable to thinking about how I was going to die soon, leaving my child to be raised in the Dark Court.

I stepped into the great hall and walked toward the thrones. Voices silenced as I passed. The entire room seemed to hold its breath in anticipation. Sadler raised his head, looking completely unsurprised. I continued as if nothing was amiss, pretending the day was like any other.

"Treason," the doctor gasped beneath his coverings.

When I reached the dais, Sadler asked, "What's the meaning of the hat, dear wife? Surely you don't claim an affiliation with the other courts."

"My child is already affiliated with all three courts," I said loudly. "But the hat means something else."

He sat back in the chair and waved his fingers. "Go ahead. Let us all in on the secret."

"The hat stands for the realm." I pointed at the colours. "The black stands for the Darkside." I pulled the lace all the way down, covering the colours. "And how it grows so quickly."

Sadler stared at me for a long time, then he gave a sharp laugh. "She has the way of it. Sit. Let us begin."

Relieved, I perched on my chair. That morning, more faeries than ever came to plead for help, but most of them paid more attention to me than to the king. Sadler's mood worsened as the day went on. His patience wore thin, his tone growing harsher by the hour. I couldn't wait to get back to my room.

Later, Sadler announced, "I have something to give my wife. First, there is something owed to her." He took my hand and slipped a black wedding band onto my ring finger.

My stomach turned. The mirror had shown me a black wedding ring.

"And now I give her my wedding gift." He held out a small black box.

My hands shook as I took it. Suspicious, I opened it slowly. A ring lay inside, two hands holding an emerald-cut black diamond into place. My knees weakened. What the mirror had shown me was coming true. What about the rest? Would I live to see everyone die? No, Sadler would never allow that.

"A ring to fit the one true queen of the Chaos Court." Sadler's words were heavy with sarcasm, but the fae clapped politely.

He glared at me until I slipped the ring on my finger. The band fit perfectly, but it was heavy, the stone ridiculously big.

"Wow," I said. "It's almost bigger than my hand, you show-off."

As soon as the first gasp rang out, I knew I had made a mistake.

"It's stunning," I added too late.

Sadler smiled at me, and I knew I was screwed. When he called for court to end, we all strolled toward the dining room. I felt a shift in atmosphere as everyone waited for something to happen. The longer nothing did, the more anxious I became. Later, Bart volunteered to escort me to my room.

Sadler followed us into the hallway. "Go," he ordered Bart. "I need a moment with my wife."

Bart fled, and I was alone with Sadler. If I had a weapon, I could have killed him, but I had nothing except a stupid hat and an even stupider ring.

"A show-off," he whispered. "You will not disrespect me in my own court."

"You should have thought of that before you kidnapped me and forced me to marry you," I blurted.

He put a hand around my neck and pressed me against the wall. He was strong, suspiciously so for such an old man. "You received a queen's gift. Accept it with the dignity of a queen. It's bad enough I have to be around a human without you staining everything with your lack of manners."

"Did your last human wife wear it?" I whispered, holding his gaze.

His grip tightened. "What did you just say?"

"Did she wear this ring?" I held up my hand. "Did you give her this before you killed her?"

"You know nothing about me," he snarled. "Never begin to assume." He tightened his hold for a few seconds before backing away.

"Brendan told me!" Apparently, I had a death wish after all.

His face flooded with colour.

I kept talking. "He told me she cried herself to sleep, waiting for you to take her home. She was devastated. She lost her mind out of grief and guilt when he tricked her. And you killed her. You killed the only person who has ever loved you, the only person who was loyal to you. You didn't protect her, and she paid the price."

He huffed out a sound that was probably supposed to be a laugh but held the opposite tone. "I don't care. I don't care that she cried. I don't care who she loved. She shamed me, and she was judged. Don't let the same thing happen to you."

"I'm dead anyway." My laugh sounded even worse than his. "I just wanted to know if you ever cared about her, if you realised that the way you've treated your family has left you king of a realm nobody wants. The Silver Court would have been yours if you had only had a little heart. I pity you."

He backhanded me across the face. I fell to the floor.

He snarled down at me. "Play your little games all you like, child. You won't beat me. Nobody ever does."

"Is that why they all return from the Fade? I didn't bring Brendan back alone. Donella came, too."

"I had hoped that particular rumour was false. But she's less than nothing to me." He strode away.

"You sent her away because you loved your wife," I whispered, though I wasn't sure he heard.

I wiped my face. My hand came away wet with blood.

A minute later, Bart returned and helped me to my feet. "Your mouth will get you into trouble some day."

I gave him a wry smile. "Tell me something new and unusual. Did his dead wife wear this ring, Bart?"

"If so, would you refuse to wear it?"

I looked at the ring. The stone was over the top, but it fascinated me. "Maybe."

"Don't worry about it. He had it made especially for you. Some members of the court will think that was sweet of him."

He handed me an old-fashioned handkerchief. "For your mouth," he said.

I wiped my lips, and the cloth came away with a crimson stain. "Sorry. I ruined your hankie."

"Keep it," he said. "This is the court of excess, after all."

"I haven't seen much excess. It's pretty plain here, poor even, in comparison."

"To Brendan? The golden king of old? He was born a king, and he's returned to a castle he didn't build or rebuild in an abundant land. He has a special kind of power."

"Do I get any power then? Or am I just the pathetic human who everyone picks on, even when I wear a ring like this?"

"And a hat like that." He laughed. "You're quite brave and foolish. It's been extremely entertaining. I'm almost sad for the day when you have this child and must die."

"I'm not looking forward to it either."

***

Rat winced when she saw me the next morning. "Oh. I can get something to cover that up so nobody sees."

"Hell, no." I stared at my bruised jaw in the mirror. "If he can hit me without any shame, then he can look at the aftermath, too."

"You'll be the death of me," she scolded, pulling my hair tighter than necessary.

"No. Just me," I whispered.

That day at court, all eyes were on me. I flaunted my bracelet and my scars. I turned my head to display my bruise. I let them all see the real me, and they stared. Sadler ignored me, but he looked as though he hadn't slept. I hoped he had thought about his wife all night long.

Two vaguely familiar twin fae stepped up to the throne.

"So you're back," Sadler said.

The pair glanced at me a couple of times, their wings moving quickly.

"I know you," I blurted.

They frowned at each other. "We haven't had the pleasure, my lady."

"No, you didn't see me. You walked under my tree."

"Has she lost her mind?" Sadler murmured to the doctor.

I dared to send a brief glare his way. "No. When I got separated from Brendan and Drake, I hid from the people searching for me. I saw these two walk under my tree."

Both men looked ill.

"It's not their fault," I added hurriedly. "They're not trackers."

"You didn't look up?" Sadler asked them. "We wasted all of that time because you didn't look up?"

"We didn't—" one started.

"Stop," he said. "No more excuses. These cretins..."

"It wasn't just them," I said. "I made it from the bridge back to the Great Forest alone. It's not like they were the only idiots out there."

Sadler looked at me as if he were losing his own mind. "You were alone. For that long."

"Somebody shot me with an arrow and knocked me off the horse," I explained, pointing at the starburst scar. "I rolled down a really steep hill. The couldn't have followed, unless they rolled down the hill after me, I suppose."

Sadler's face turned a little purple.

"Anyway, I just started walking. I couldn't stop because the things in the water kept laughing at me." I was rambling, and I told myself to shut up, but no, I had to keep going. "So I avoided the people trying to track me down, and I followed some of, um, Brighid's flowers, and I found my way home. Eventually. The clurichaun stopped me and tried to sell me to you, but the Guardian helped me get back to the right—"

I had never seen so many shocked faces in my life. "What?" I rubbed my temples, wondering where I had gone wrong. "But... um, I'm just a summer wife, so maybe I imagined it all."

"What did I do to deserve this creature?" Sadler muttered.

"You can let me go at any time," I said, settling back into my chair. "Who hit me with the arrow anyway? Jerks."

Reynard spluttered with indignation. "She dares too much."

"Do you tell me what to do with my own wife?" Sadler asked.

Reynard backed away, his eyes wide with fear. "No. My apologies. You know the hate I have for humans. That's all I see when I look at her."

"You see failure when you look at me," I said scornfully. "How many times exactly did I slip out of your hands? Idiot."

"Yes." Sadler leaned forward. "Tell me how many times it was, Fox."

"It wasn't my fault," he protested.

"If she escapes, I will blame it on you, no matter whose fault it is."

Reynard narrowed his eyes at me. "I'll see her dead before I see her leave."

I believed him.

***

A midwife arrived that afternoon. She was a voluptuous woman with purple cheeks and hair the colour of straw. Her eyes were the lightest green I had ever seen.

"Too pale," she tutted, looking me over as I sat on the throne.

"Just tell me when the baby will be born," Sadler snapped. He had been anxious since her arrival.

"We'll need a quiet room for that," she said.

"Take her to my chambers," Sadler ordered.

Rumble stepped forward. I had begun to recognise him because he was one of the few who always wore a helmet. I still hadn't seen his face.

"Vix, you, too," Sadler said sharply.

The four of us walked up the stairs to Sadler's room. I shivered, feeling sick at the memory of the woman who had spent the night in there with Sadler then limped away the next morning. I hadn't seen her again.

"Do you have to be here?" the midwife asked Rumble.

He nodded. "I'm to keep watch and make sure you don't harm her or the baby."

The midwife snorted. "Get on the bed, girl. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to measure your womb to see how much time we have left."

I lay on the bed. She lifted my top and placed her hands on either side of my stomach, digging her fingers uncomfortably into my skin.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I've been kidnapped, I'm trapped in the faery realm, and I'm married to a mad king who plans on stealing my baby and killing me as soon as it's born. I'm great, thanks."

The midwife smiled. "But how does your body feel? Have you been ill, tired? Are you eating? You look pale."

"I'm inside every day," I complained. "And the food isn't... what I'm used to."

She felt my thighs and calves. "You were fit before this?"

"I ran. I used to run a lot. Not since I found out, though. I've been afraid. A lot of stuff happened before I found out."

"The baby is a little small right now."

"My stomach is growing every day."

"Not enough for my liking." She frowned. "And you are far too thin. You need some fresh air, more food, and exercise."

"I don't think he cares."

"If he doesn't, then the baby will come too soon, and nobody here will be able to help it."

I sat up with fright. "You really think that could happen?"

She reached for my wrist and took my pulse. "You're under a lot of stress. Stress effects the babies, whether we like it or not." She looked at Vix. "Send for him."

Vix made a face, but she obeyed.

"Is my baby going to be okay?" I asked. "Will I... will I have to be alone when she comes?"

"You're scared." She smiled. "And I heard you were so brave. You won't be alone. I'll be here when it's time."

"What if something goes wrong?"

"I'll do my best."

"Don't let anyone hurt the baby." I grabbed her arm. "When I die, don't let them hurt her. She's just a baby. She doesn't deserve..." I lay back on the pillows. "All of this."

"Don't you worry. Nobody wants to hurt this little one."

"She won't ever know me," I whispered. "She'll never know I loved her."

"No fretting," she insisted. "Do you feel it's a girl?"

I shrugged. "'She' just pops out."

"Maybe you have good instincts." She looked as though she wanted to say something else, but Sadler stormed into the room, pushing Rumble out of his way.

"Who are you to summon me?"

"Don't give me that tone," she snapped. "Not if you want me to birth another child for you."

"What is it?" he demanded.

"She's six months pregnant, and the child isn't growing enough. If this keeps up, she won't make it to Lughnasadh. The girl is not well. Her blood pressure is too high. Too much stress will push her and the baby over the edge. If you want this baby to reach full term, you'll provide her with what she needs."

"She's just a—"

"What do I care? She needs rest whenever she feels like it, and she needs to exercise every day. She has to have fresh air and good food, human food, and plenty of it. You forget she's human, Sadler. You forget she has different needs. You remember—"

"Don't." He looked away. "Tell the staff. Let them take care of her."

"Remember what I said," she warned. "Push her too far, and there'll be no baby at all. I see those bruises. You know quite well what you're doing."

"Get out, the lot of you!" he said. "Leave me in peace." When they started filing out, he added, "Wait. Vix? Vix! Where are you?"

Vix stepped back into the room, looking pretty unhappy about it.

"Make sure she's taken care of. Send a trusted group to the human realm to fetch some food. You have to make sure she's taking care of the baby."

Vix nodded and looked at me. "Do you require anything right now?"

"Fresh air," I said. "I... I need to get outside."

"You don't leave these grounds," Sadler said.

I nodded and slipped out of the room.

Vix followed, holding my elbow to slow me down. "Ten minutes," she said. "I don't have time to babysit a human."

"You mean the queen," I said smartly, shrugging her off.

"You won't get special treatment for acting like a brat."

I shrugged. "I'm going to die anyway."

"We know. You haven't stopped reminding us."

She took me outside, and we walked along a large mucky area that was being dug up. I had watched the work from my window, so I was already curious.

"What are they doing?" I asked.

"Digging."

"I can see that. Why?"

"They're planting. Fruit. Vegetables. There are too many people at court. We need more food, desperately."

One of the gardeners looked up from his weeding. "Aye. We need food, but we can throw in a flower to honour our lady here. Is there something you would like to see growing, something you could see from your window?"

I gazed up at the tower that had become my home. "Black roses," I whispered. "I'd really like to see black roses again."

Vix cleared her throat.

"What?" I said. "They're black, aren't they?"

She looked away, obviously unamused.

"Anything else?" the gardener asked.

"How about some of Brighid's flowers," I said. "I like the smell."

"They don't grow freely." The gardener's voice shook. "And especially not in the Darkside."

"I've seen them here," I said. "They led me home."

Vix snorted. "This is your home now."

"My final resting place, you mean."

Groaning, she dragged me away from the gardener. I took the opportunity to get a good look at the castle. A lot of it had been repaired, but one tower was still in complete ruins. There were four total, but only three were intact. I wondered what was in the other towers. More prisoners?

"Where are the children?" I asked.

"What?"

"The children. At the provings, there were lots of children. Deorad's children. Where are they now?"

"In... they're hidden."

"Hidden from who?"

"You. The other courts. They don't run freely all of the year. Only for short times. Sadler has no patience for them, and they ask for... their father a lot."

"There were so many of them. All of them half-brothers and sisters to a king now. My baby's aunts and uncles. It's weird."

"Deorad was a nickname for one with no name," she said. "His own father declared he wasn't a person, and therefore, his children are barely people, too."

"Except for the one who is a king. Drake is branded. He has power."

"Power can be taken away. He is the father of your child?"

"Who else?" I asked, a little offended.

"We had heard you had relations with both of them," she said with a mocking laugh. "The stupid human spreading her legs, hoping to rise with them."

"I never wanted this."

"Then how did you end up here?" She led me back to the castle, fury in her eyes.

I wanted to be angry, too, but I kept asking myself the exact same question. How the hell did I end up here?

Chapter Nineteen

Sadler paced up and down in the yard as half of his court gathered in front of the castle doors to wait for the first royal carriage to arrive. A storm blew overhead, and it was cold. Many of the fae huddled together. I stood alone. I was going to see my friends again, and if I was really lucky, they were going to take me home with them.

Most of the women shivered in short summer dresses. I had gone all out on a massive ball gown I could barely walk in. I was pretty sure it was the type of dress that could give me muscles, since it was so heavy. The bodice was black satin with thick ribbons lacing it together. The skirt was full and white. My movements were so precarious that Sadler had ordered his soldiers to help carry the skirt whenever I took a step to keep me from falling on someone and killing them. Those weren't his exact words but close enough.

As soon as the watchers called out the imminent arrival, Sadler ordered all of us to wait by his side. My heart raced. I spotted silver flags blowing in the breeze. I wondered if Sadler had somehow created such shitty weather for their arrival. I glanced at him. He looked pale. Soldiers surrounded us, making me uneasy.

"You look like you're trying to ambush them," I said sharply, unable to contain my irritation.

Sadler gave me a withering look. "As if a human could understand my intentions. Speak as little as possible today, dear wife, or I might forget how much I want that child of yours."

I shut my mouth. Even the fae who had been kind to me were cold and harsh in front of Sadler. Everyone was afraid to board the sinking ship that was my life. And my child would grow up in that castle, unloved and uncared for. I didn't want to birth another Deorad.

The first carriage rolled into the yard. When it stopped, Drake stepped out. He took one look at me, and his face fell. A skirt appeared in the carriage door, Sorcha waiting to be helped down, but Drake strode over to Sadler.

"What did you do to her?" Drake demanded in an icy voice.

Sadler sneered. "She's my wife. What haven't I done to her?"

Drake took a few short breaths, clenching his jaw so tightly I thought the bone might crack.

When he spoke again, he appeared calmer, but the anger remained in his eyes. "Give her to me when you're done with her. Keep the child. Give me the woman."

"You want my wife?" Sadler asked. "And what do I get out of this?"

"You get the child. You get my assurance that I won't rip this castle apart, stone by stone."

"No!" I said, horrified. "I'm not leaving my baby here!"

Drake refused to look at me. "You're young. You can have more children."

"I'm not going anywhere without my baby. How could you even come up with something so fucking stupid?"

"See?" Sadler said. "My wife doesn't want to go with you. She'd rather live out the rest of her short life here."

"Cara," Drake said, still holding Sadler's gaze, "you will die here."

"I'm not leaving my baby behind," I said. "If that's the price, then I'm not leaving."

Murmurs of approval drifted around the courtyard.

Drake looked at me then, showing a smidgeon of the Drake I knew. "He will torture you until you die."

I knew that. But I couldn't walk away and leave my baby behind. "You started it first," I whispered. I made to turn around and walk away.

"Wait," Drake said. "My queen wishes to present you both with a gift."

Sadler grabbed my arm with a firm hand and held me in place. "And what would this gift be?"

"A pair of horses," Drake said coolly. "I'll let her have the pleasure."

He turned on his heel and moved to the carriage to help Sorcha down. As always, she was beautiful. She wore a sparkling silver gown, making it clear in which court she belonged. She looked every inch a faery queen, whereas I still looked like a human playing dress-up.

Drake held her hand and led her to Sadler. Behind them came Dymphna and Líle, imposing and cold. Drake whispered something to Líle. She nodded and stepped behind the carriage. She walked back, leading two large horses. One was ginger with a high sheen on its coat. The other was huge and black with gorgeous amber eyes I recognised.

I bit down on my excitement. Dubh. They were giving us Dubh.

Sadler's eyes lit up. "Beautiful." He let go of me and moved toward the horses, straight for Dubh. Dubh reared up nastily, driving Sadler back.

Sadler gave a forced laugh. "I think I'll leave the contrary one for my wife. Their personalities are well matched." He walked over to the ginger horse, who was only slightly smaller than Dubh. It stood tall and allowed Sadler to examine it. "Exquisite. I thank you, Silver Queen. Why don't you accept your gift, wife?" He sneered, probably expecting me to be afraid.

He stepped out of the way as I approached Dubh, a lump in my throat. I loved that horse. He was more than a horse to me. Rumble held my skirt out of the mud by himself, which had to be awkward.

As I reached Dubh, I held out my hands, my entire body taut with apprehension. Sadler would know, and Dubh would be sent away. Dubh reared, right on time, but I didn't step back. I heard gasps of alarm, but I ignored them and stretched out a hand for him to sniff. When he didn't bite or react, I brushed my hand against his face. He nuzzled my fingers, and the crowd clapped politely.

I turned to Sadler, unable to hide my happiness. His face was purple with rage. My smile fell. I would pay for that later.

"That horse is familiar," Sadler said. "I know that horse."

"It was mine," Nella said, alighting from the second carriage. "He turned on me, so I sold him." She smirked. "How nice to see you again, Sadler. And married! What an interesting turn of events. You do know she's my descendant, don't you?"

Murmurs ran through the crowd.

Sadler glanced at me. "I'll try not to hold that against her. Perhaps the horse recognised her blood."

Reynard frowned. He knew I had ridden Dubh, but he didn't open his mouth. I assumed it was because he also knew I would remind everyone of how he had been unable to capture me on at least three different occasions. I gave him a sweet smile to let him know exactly what I was thinking. He turned on his heel and stormed off.

Drake's court members were escorted to their rooms while the rest of us waited for Brendan. He exited his carriage with Arlen and strode cockily toward us. No Anya, no Grim, no Realtín, not even Bekind. Where was everyone?

I fidgeted anxiously as Brendan approached. If he said one word about leaving my baby behind, I was going to deck him. He stopped in front of me and studied my face for a long time. I looked at him pleadingly, and he nodded.

He turned to Sadler. "Her face doesn't need your method of decoration, Sadler."

"All wives need to learn some manners," Sadler said. "You remember how I like manners."

"I remember well. And I'm sorry for her misfortune."

"Do you still need to be taught some manners?" Sadler asked harshly. "If so, I'll be sure to spend some time with you while you're here."

"It's time for lunch," I piped up. "We should get inside before... before..."

"We are all hungry," Brendan said. "May I escort your wife inside?"

"You may not," Sadler gripped my upper arm and hauled me inside, closely followed by his guards.

"You look overlong at men who are not your husband," he hissed in my ear. "Remember what is at stake here. If I choose, I could end them all in front of you today."

"I won't do anything," I whispered. "I won't do a thing."

He straightened, apparently realising that the visitors from both courts were staring at us. He smiled at me then, and I shook with fear. He gripped my chin and moved to kiss me in front of everyone. I automatically recoiled. A soldier clamped hands on my arms, holding me into place. Sadler tried to force his tongue into my mouth. I whimpered, and he bit me.

He pulled away, a streak of my blood on his mouth. "I'm overcome with affection for my dear wife. Please excuse us from lunch. We have a lot to attend to in the bedchamber."

Horrified, I dug in my heels, but I was no match for him. Sadler dragged me out of the hall and up the stairs, almost pulling me over because of the weight of my skirt. I was exhausted from struggling by the time we reached his room. Inside, I cowered at the door.

Sadler laughed, wiping my blood from his face, then threw a cloth at me. "Clean yourself up."

I tried, but my hands trembled too much. "Please just leave me alone," I whispered.

He whirled around and advanced on me. I backed into the wall.

"Do you not understand?" he snarled. "You repulse me. I couldn't..." He shook his head. "Let them think the worst. Let him have an ounce of what I went through. Maybe I'll make you scream for good measure." He opened the door. "Call the doctor. And a maid. Bring water."

My feelings were flooding out of control. I had been doing so well, but seeing Drake and then Brendan, seeing what I had lost and knowing what might come next had unsettled me in every way.

"Oh," Sadler said, his face relaxing. "What is that?"

He came over and pressed his body against mine, resting his forehead on my shoulder. I had never been so grossed out in my entire life. I thought I might throw up when he actually moaned.

"The fear," he whispered hoarsely. "It's delicious. How are you doing that?" He pushed me away with a surprised laugh. "So you don't come without tricks of your own. Is it because of Donella, I wonder?" He seemed to be talking to himself. He pushed me away and paced. "This will work," he muttered. "This will do it."

As soon as the doctor walked into the room, my fear expanded exponentially. The doctor stopped mid-step.

"I know," Sadler said with a raspy laugh. "Isn't it delightful?"

"How?" the doctor asked. "Why now? After all of the rumours, I've been trying my hardest to provoke her. How has it happened now?"

"Our visitors, I assume. Talk of leaving her baby, perhaps. Did you hear that insolent pup? Let me take her. Madness. Humans only ever cause madness in our kind."

"And pleasure with the right tools," the doctor said.

I cowered against the wall, covering my ears. The maid opened the door, took one look, and excused herself.

"No, wait," Sadler told her. "Clean up her face. The sight of it disgusts me."

The maid approached me slowly, her expression filled with something I couldn't identify.

"Careful," Sadler said with a laugh. "It's addictive."

The doctor joined in with his laughter. "Truly."

The maid tentatively wiped my face clean, her hands shaking. "There, there," she whispered. "It'll be over soon."

I stared at her. What would? My death? The visit? The day? Everything was spiralling out of control, and before my eyes, Sadler was unravelling into some kind of demented demon.

As soon as the maid left, I sank to the floor, terrified. Sadler's eyes held the worst kind of darkness. He was going to kill me.

"Try it now." Sadler told the doctor. He sounded like a child. "See what we can do with her."

The doctor approached me. "It'll be strong, probably too much to bear."

"There are plenty of guards," Sadler said. "Nobody will get to us."

"That's not what I'm worried about."

"It's the only thing that will get me through this." Sadler's voice held a note of desperation.

The doctor used the staff to hurt me, provoking all of my fears and bringing them to the surface. I couldn't breathe for a moment. The spasms hurt, but far worse than that was the cloud of emotion draining out of me. They were sucking the life out of me, a little at a time. I had never felt such pain, most of it mental. Every fear, every ounce of hurt, every time I panicked or worried or suffered an adrenaline rush... it all came back up, combining and swirling and creating a ball of decay around me.

In my dazed state, my body convulsing on the floor, I thought I saw the darkness lift from my skin. It was the mirror all over again. I caught sight of the doctor's staff and noticed the shard of glass that glinted and blinded me. A piece of the mirror. It sucked away at everything that made me me.

The doctor swayed then dropped to his knees, the staff moving erratically, sparking lights in the air. Or maybe I was seeing things.

"Let me try." Sadler grabbed the staff and knelt over me.

He pressing the mirrored shard against my chest. He almost fell over as my convulsing legs kicked at him through my skirts. With his other hand, he pinched my face between his fingers, looking as though he might pass out. His eyes had fully dilated.

"All of those faces looked like her, and it's this one who gives me the reminders. I can't..." He shook his head and stepped back, throwing the staff to the side.

Lying on my back, I took deep breaths as I was granted a moment of peace. The doctor picked up the staff and planted it on my stomach. I grabbed it and pushed, but a wave of something strong blasted from the staff, knocking me onto my back again.

I crawled away, but I was caught once more by the doctor. I collapsed, unable to move. I caught sight of Sadler and wanted to vomit. He was lying on his back, his arms stretched out in a junkie's pose. His fingers twitched, his eyes half-closed, and he had a true smile on his face for the first time since I'd met him. Worse, he looked more like Drake than ever. I rolled over, praying it would end, but the doctor wasn't done yet.

Sadler, the emotion addict, was totally out of it, completely overwhelmed by the depth of my feelings. Tears rolled down my cheeks and splattered onto the floor, where they mixed with my blood.

The doctor chortled with a childish giggle. "And one more." With a flourish, he struck me with the staff.

A violent scream erupted from my throat. I couldn't see the room anymore. I saw death and dead things. I saw a decaying body crawling through the soil to gather me in its embrace. I saw rivers of blood in a golden mirror, my friends dead and gone. I saw cannibalistic faery monsters. I saw blood and death and wished for my own. Through my visions, my scream echoed in my ears.

Strong arms lifted me and carried me out of the room. Through my haze, I saw both reality and the emotion-induced dream.

"How can you bear to touch her?" Vix was asking.

"I can stand it," Rumble said. "If they kill her today, we're all dead."

"What was he thinking? All this time and he caves now?"

"Get more guards to stand outside her room," Rumble said. "They won't stand for this."

"What of the king?"

"He'll recover by the morning. But the rumours will worsen."

"He's giving her the rope to hang him with. We need to get rid of that creature."

"His downfall," Rumble said.

With a whimper, I turned my head away from Rumble's chest and vomited onto the floor.

"What do we do with her?" Vix whispered.

"Pretend this never happened. Get the midwife to return. Send the hunchback. He'll persuade her to come."

"And if he doesn't return with her?"

"Then may the goddess help us all. Go, Vix. Stop acting like a scared child."

"I've never felt this before," she murmured. "I understand him better now, I think."

"Go," he said, and I felt his voice rumble even in my belly.

I heard her footsteps running away, then I felt more than heard Rumble's sigh of relief. I caught the scent of a candle that Rat had given to me. It smelled like roses.

Rumble carefully laid me on the bed. I was sick and shaking, and I had no idea what was going on.

"What's happening to me?" I whispered.

He knelt beside the bed and wiped my face with something damp. "You'll be better in the morn."

I put my hands on my stomach. The baby wasn't moving.

"The bairn is fine," he said. "You need to sleep and rest. Tomorrow will be a long day. And no more screaming, do you hear me? You'll get us all killed, and you'll be the first, come wartime. Do you hear me, human? If we die, so do you. So does your baby."

"What do you look like?" I asked, reaching for his helmet.

He moved his head back. "You don't want to know."

"I do. If I'm going to die, at least let me know something true."

He hesitated, then raised his hands to his helmet. "I only do this to let you know what he's capable of. This is how he rewards loyalty." He took off his helmet. "Now imagine how he rewards treachery."

I stared for a long moment at his disfigured face. His hair was gone, apart from scattered tufts of grey. His face was so badly scarred that I could barely make out his soft brown eyes and full lips.

I touched his cheek. "Thank you," I whispered before falling asleep.

Chapter Twenty

When Rat woke me the next morning, my limbs were still trembling, but it all seemed so surreal that I wasn't sure if I had been dreaming. Sadler had gotten high on my fear, he and the doctor both, but it was as if I soaked up their magic, too, got caught up in their nightmare. My stomach turned.

"Today is the day," she whispered. "You have to show yourself."

"Today's what day?" I asked, aching as I got up from the bed.

"The day of the feast. Your wedding feast. The other courts will leave tomorrow. This is the last day, and then you can rest a while."

"I'm tired now."

"I know," she said. "It'll be over soon."

Everyone kept saying that. While eating breakfast, I got flashbacks of what had happened the day before. I felt too sick to eat then.

"You have to eat."

"I can't. I'll throw up. I don't feel good today."

"Come have a bath. It'll cheer you up. It's early. Nobody is about yet."

She let me hold on to her as we stepped outside the door. The hallway was full of soldiers. I bit down on my intake of breath.

"So many," I whispered.

"Can she walk?" Rumble asked, startling me. Had he been outside my door all night?

"I'm fine," I said stubbornly. "I'm not an invalid. I can take care of myself."

"Can she walk?" he asked again, directing the question to the maid.

Rat looked at me and bit her lip. "I'll shout if we need help."

Sighing, I brushed past the mini-army and made my way to the baths. The sound of the guards clomping after me was kind of depressing.

I soaked in the bath for a long time. I didn't torment Rat with questions like usual. I was too busy trying to figure out what had happened the night before.

"I heard you scream," she said abruptly. "I was in the kitchen, and I heard you scream. All that way."

"Sorry," I said automatically. Her eyes widened, but I didn't care. "I didn't mean to scream."

"We all felt... something," she said hesitantly. "Is that... was that normal for you? I've heard... rumours."

"I don't know what normal is." I closed my eyes and tried my best to shut out the trembling of leftover emotion that was travelling through my body. I needed to be stronger for next time.

She helped me out of the bath and into the same dress I had worn yesterday. I hated that dress.

"Can we just... get rid of some of it?" I asked. "I'm already exhausted wearing it."

She helped me cut away some of the layers. The dress felt lighter, but it was still a burden. My stomach cramped as I walked out of the room, but I brushed off Rat's offer of help. I could walk alone. I could stand alone. I was more than what they made of me.

Then I saw Drake, walking toward me, his eyes wide with surprise. I stopped and stared, only jolted into the present by the sounds of swords unsheathing. The soldiers were always ready to protect their queen from her friends.

"It's okay," I said wearily. "I'm just walking to the great hall."

I brushed past him, feeling his fingertips slide against mine. A flicker of hope blossomed inside me. I felt a rush of something, that old feeling I used to get from him. I had to ignore it, lock it away. If Sadler had an idea of the true extent of my feelings for either Drake or Brendan, we would all suffer even more.

The soldiers escorted me to my throne. Minutes later, Sadler and the doctor arrived, both of them acting more jittery than usual. Sadler took his seat, ignoring me as he usually did. I stared straight ahead, concentrating on holding my head up.

A short man ran up to the steps and bowed before Sadler. "The midwife has arrived."

"We don't need her," he said. "Send her away."

Vix murmured something, and Sadler cleared his throat. "Look after the midwife until tomorrow. She can see to the baby then."

I flinched. Did he mean to cut the baby out of my womb? I wouldn't put it past him. My nerves burned in my throat, and I could tell by the shuffling of the faeries around me that they sensed it. I needed to get a grip and stop Sadler from using me.

Sadler heard a few requests before we were joined by the other courts—a few key figures surrounded by guards of their own. I refused to look at any of them. I didn't want to see anything in their eyes.

"Ah," Sadler said as a tall, thin faery knelt at his feet with a box. "It's finally arrived."

He stood, opened the box, and lifted out a twisted black crown. He turned and placed it on my head. All I could think about was that stupid mirror.

"And now we have a queen," Sadler said, "with a crown to match. We'll break for lunch to discuss the state of the realm. After a rest, we shall have a feast. There will be music and dancing to celebrate the fact that the Chaos Court has a queen." He laughed. "And an heir on the way."

I breathed deeply, trying to concentrate on feeling nothing. Rumble and Vix escorted me to lunch. Vix and I sat at the opposite end of the table from Sadler, while Rumble stood behind us. To my right sat Reynard. I stared at my food throughout the meal. I knew that if I looked up and saw pity or concern on even one face, I would lose all control.

"I have a gift for you," Brendan said loudly.

Everyone stopped eating to look at him. By Sadler's annoyed harrumph, I guessed that Brendan was speaking to me.

"I'll save it for the feast," Brendan added.

"Do that," Sadler said in a warning tone. "This is business. Let pleasure come later."

"Business then," Drake said. "I want to see Deorad's body."

"Who?" Sadler was too mocking. He would rile everyone up. That was probably what he wanted.

"Your son," Drake said.

I snuck a glance at him. He was staring directly at Sadler, his hands wrapped around a knife and a fork.

"Your father, you mean," Sadler said. "Didn't he die?"

"I didn't get to see the body," Drake said. "I want to confirm with my own eyes that he died."

"Our dead are burned. If he survived, well, I couldn't say he was living now."

That sounded wrong in my head. I frowned at my salad, wondering if Sadler was winding Drake up or actually hiding something.

"Wife!" Sadler shouted. "Why aren't you eating?"

I picked up my fork, stabbed something green, and brought it to my mouth.

"Humans," he scoffed. "Once you train them, they're just so obedient."

I refused to react.

Vix poured me a cup of wine. "Drink. It'll put some colour in your cheeks."

I shook my head and continued having a staring match with my food.

"And your Darksiders," Drake continued, "why are they still roaming in my territory?"

"Poor souls," Sadler said. "They must be lost. Why else? After all"—he got to his feet and slammed his palms on the table—"they're just ignorant, filthy beasts without a brain between them. Why else would they live here in the Darkside?"

"They will leave my territory," Drake said, "or I'll consider it an act of war."

"War against me then! The first thing I'll do is send you pieces of that human and her brat. I'll even tie her up in a green and silver bow. She seems to enjoy that sort of thing."

Drake lowered his voice. "If you think a human and her unborn child are more important to me than my kingdom, you've severely underestimated me, Grandfather. Your troops will pull back from my territory, and from Brendan's, and it will be immediately. The next time I come here, I won't be this kind."

"Threats at my own table?" Sadler threw his plate across the room. He was always unstable, but half high on my emotions, he was far worse.

"You wanted to talk business," Brendan said lightly. "Have you changed your mind?"

Sadler stormed across the room and tugged me out of my chair. When I moved too slowly for him, he shoved me at Rumble. "Carry it out."

A smart remark danced on my tongue, but I held it in. Sadler was winning. I was losing myself.

***

The band played a disharmonised symphony, and some faeries bowed before each other in the centre of the room. They moved stiffly across the floor in an awkward dance that looked more like moves on a giant chess board. I was exhausted and tried to smother a yawn.

"Are you bored?" Sadler snapped. "Is my court too dull for you?" When I didn't respond, he shouted, "Fill the room with everyone in the castle! Let even the lowest of the low come to entertain our queen. She's so difficult to please, as we all know. Bring them!"

For the next half an hour, fae trotted in obediently to join us, most of them looking terrified. I smiled at the flashes of colour and the wings—no more strapping down their wings with shame.

I tried to hide my feeling of triumph, but Sadler felt it. He reached for my hair and tugged it.

"My gift," Brendan called out, approaching the dais. "I offer the queen an experienced pixie to take care of her in her... condition."

Sadler dropped his hand and glared at Brendan. "A pixie?"

My heart froze, and my trembling hands stilled. Brendan beckoned, and a blue-haired pixie danced over to him.

"No!" I shouted. "I don't want her. I don't want a pixie at all!"

Anya looked up at me, expressionless. I shook my head, but they didn't retract the offer of a gift.

Sadler laughed. He could probably taste my horror in the air. "Come, little pixie. Come kneel at our feet." He glared at me. "Thank him for his gift, wife."

I licked my lips, wishing I could throw something at him. "Thank you," I managed to rasp.

Anya avoided my eyes and settled carefully on the steps at my feet. I felt sick again. A lump formed in my throat. She was supposed to get married and be happy. But she was tied to me... again. If I died, she would, too, unless they meant for her to take care of my baby when I was gone. I breathed a little easier.

"I request a dance," Brendan said. "As my thank you."

Sadler hesitated then looked around the room and nodded. "A quick dance. She isn't strong."

To my surprise, Rumble stepped forward without being told and helped me down the steps. He handed me over to Brendan as the music changed to a waltz-like rhythm. The royals of the Chaos Court joined in as Brendan carefully moved me around the floor. I looked over his shoulder, my fingers shaking in his grip.

"Look at me," he murmured. "Let me see."

I glanced at him and saw the worry in those familiar green eyes. My breath hitched in my throat.

"I'm so sorry I failed you," he said. "We can't get you out of here without risking your life. You have help now. Find the right time and take Dubh. He'll get you home. Don't answer me. Just know what you have to do. We'll have people waiting to hold off the soldiers who follow. Just keep riding. You have time. Wait for the right opportunity then don't look back."

A tear formed in the corner of my eye. He stopped dancing to wipe it away.

I looked at him and felt as though it was the last time I would see him. "You're a good king," I whispered then slipped out of his grasp and moved back to the throne.

Sadler was almost convulsing with anger. His face had turned purple, and he looked ill. Withdrawal, I thought.

"Stop the music!" he screamed. "I tire of dancing. Let us sit at the feast tables. Everyone! Everyone is to join us. My wife and I have a wedding gift for all of you."

At the table, he pulled a chair right next to him for me. When I dared to raise my eyes, he slapped my hand.

"You do not look at anyone but me, and even then, only when I give you permission," he said under his breath. He was losing control.

I stared at the huge ring on my hand and wondered why my entire life had led me to that moment. I decided to sit quietly and wait for him to burn through his temper.

"Are you looking at my wife?" he shouted.

I flinched and hung my head.

"I was wondering if she is ill," Brendan said in a pleasant tone. "She seems half as well as she was in my care."

"In your care," Sadler sneered. He stood. "My wife, the whore, has pleasured many a king, so why not give her gift to the entire realm?" He grabbed a hank of my hair. "Let her pleasure the entire room. Doctor!"

I shook as he let go of my hair and sat. A guard I didn't know came behind me and pinned me to my chair. Most of the Chaos Court members turned their heads away.

"What are you doing?" Brendan asked in a tight voice. "Have you gone mad?"

"She has a gift for you all." Sadler waved at the doctor. "Make sure there's enough to go around."

The doctor laughed and coughed then laughed again. I gripped my chair arms and looked at the ceiling, ready for the nightmare to begin all over again. More soldiers surrounded us and held out their weapons in preparation. There was no saving me. I was a lost soul.

The doctor moved toward me. I didn't even see the staff move. The pain came in waves, shocking my emotions to the surface. It happened easier than last time, probably because I was already shaky. I heard murmured protests, even some shouting, but I concentrated on keeping calm.

"More," Sadler said. "She's resisting. Give her everything."

The mirror shard glinted in the corner of my eye. My body arched upward, out of my control. A hiss escaped my clenched teeth. I couldn't look around. If I saw anyone I knew, I would lose myself completely. I desperately tried to swallow my emotions, but they kept leaking out of me. There was too much danger, too much magic.

And it was Drake's panicked voice that lost me. He called my name as if he cared. I let out a gush of air, and the emotions strangled me, pulling me down into that nightmare of death and darkness again. It was worse and worse and worse again. I couldn't breathe as I strained against the soldier's hands.

"Continue," Sadler commanded. "Let them see."

Vix called Sadler's name, sounding worried. I glanced at him and saw him slumped in his seat, a half-smile on his face. Some of the maids wept and sank to the floor. Rat rocked to and fro, her head knocking against the wall.

The doctor muttered indistinguishable words, and a brand new pain ripped through my body. I tried to hold in my scream, but someone else screamed for me, something about blood and a baby.

The soldier lost his hold on my spasming body. I looked down, and the mental nightmares cleared because a true one was happening right before my eyes. Blood covered my skirt.

I screamed. Then, I jumped up and doubled over, holding my stomach, praying the baby would stay inside, would live. But the bloodstain spread scarily quick, and gasps of horror sounded all around me.

"He killed the child," Sorcha said in a lifeless voice. "I feel death."

No! I screamed with pain and anger and horror and everything in my soul. That release of emotion stilled everyone. Nobody moved to stop me as I seized a fork and gripped Sadler's collar. He blinked lazily, then I stabbed him in the eye.

"You killed her!" I screeched, reaching out to strike again, to cause more damage.

Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me away. Roars of pain and indignation filled the room. Fae ran everywhere, but Rumble had me in his arms and was carrying me away from the table.

Reynard stepped in front of us with his sword unsheathed. Let him, I wanted to say. I had nothing left.

"No," Rumble said. "She went mad with grief. You have no orders to harm her." He nodded at Vix. "Send for the midwife immediately."

"Cara," Anya whimpered beside us.

I caught sight of Drake's eyes, the horror within. The grief. My baby. Our baby.

Then Brendan was there, looking down at me.

"She's my queen," Rumble said. The noise had stopped, all except for a sobbing that I soon realised was coming from me. "I won't let you harm her."

"Harm her," Brendan scoffed. "She's hysterical, downing most of the court with just her pain. I need to calm her. There's a chance. There's still a chance."

"They'll come for her before Sadler recovers," Rumble said.

"Then protect her," Brendan said. "We'll try to keep them away."

"They're high," Rumble said. "All of them. Sick with her."

"Yet you can stand her."

"Too much human blood in me."

Brendan brushed his hand against my cheek.

"Brendan," I whimpered. "Brendan, look what he did."

"It's not over," Brendan said firmly. "Your luck hasn't run out yet." He brushed his hands across my eyes. "Sleep, Cara Kelly. Sleep and dream happy dreams. Let go of the pain, Cara Kelly, sleep and heal. And please, forgive us."

Chapter Twenty-One

When I woke up, I couldn't move. I tried to throw out my arms and fight whatever was holding me in place, but it was no use.

"Hush," someone whispered. "Calm down. You're safe. I'm here."

I opened my eyes to see my tower room, but it was brighter. New lanterns hung on the walls. I was tucked into my bed so tightly, I couldn't move my limbs until Anya loosened the sheets.

"Why are you here?" I tried to say, but the words wouldn't come out as the memories flooded back. I sat up, panicking.

"The baby lives, and the bleeding has stopped." She pulled the blankets away. "I kept you still so you wouldn't put any more stress on your body. I'll get you something to drink."

She brought me a cup of water. I gratefully took a sip.

"The midwife will be here soon."

"Why?" I croaked.

"She comes every day."

"Every... day?"

"You've been asleep for a long time," she said. "Four days. Brendan sent you under to keep you calm. But the midwife said it was time to let you wake up."

"Four?" I carefully sat up a little straighter. "The baby's okay?"

"I promise you, the baby survived."

I rubbed my belly. "Then Sadler's lucky."

Her eyes widened. "Don't. You're lucky he didn't have you beheaded. You know what he did to his last wife, and he loved her. You blinded him in one eye, Cara. It was very brave and incredibly stupid. You're the talk of the realm." She smiled. "But then again, you already were, even before that."

I wanted to weep. "I should never have come here, Anya. I should have stayed in the human realm. I would have had to protect her, but I've just brought the baby into the mouth of the worst kind of danger. How could I be so naïve?"

She stroked my arm. "You did what you thought was best. You had no idea it would turn out this way. Nobody did."

"Where is everyone? Are we locked in? Is—"

"Calm down. The courts left. Sadler wanted no one around to see his weakness. He's been in his room, crying over his dead wife. I heard the servants talking. He's a madman. You need to be more careful."

"But why are you here? You little idiot!"

"I couldn't leave you alone. I'm the only one who could have come, the only one he might have allowed."

"You're supposed to be getting married."

"I've waited this long." She patted my hand. "Arlen knows I'm not marrying him without you by my side. You need me. They don't know anything here. Not how to take care of you. Besides, they're too cowardly to do a thing on your behalf."

"Like I said," I whispered. "You're an idiot."

"No. I'm your friend. Your family. You saved me, and now I'm going to help you get out of here. When does Sadler leave the castle?"

I frowned. "He hasn't since I've arrived. He doesn't go anywhere. There's no way I can escape this."

"Perhaps when you give birth, there'll be a chance."

I grabbed her hands. "I'm going to die as soon as they take the baby from me. You have to do everything they say and make sure it's you who looks after the baby. They won't love the baby, Anya. They won't know how, but you'll be able to run with her. I need to know my baby will grow up loved."

"You're not going to die."

"Promise me."

She blinked a couple of times. "I promise you that I will love your child as you would, if you are unable."

I blew out a sigh of relief. "Thanks."

"I'm going to get you some soup and see what's keeping the midwife."

She left me alone. I stood, still shaky, and moved to the window. The sky was dark and cloudy, but the gardeners were still working hard. One stopped to wipe his brow and spotted me. He waved, looking almost happy to see me, then he turned and said something to the others. They, too, stopped what they were doing to wave up at me. I waved back, a little unsure of myself.

"What are you doing out of bed?"

I whirled around to see the midwife storm into the room.

"Bedrest," she said. "Bed. Rest. You get one hour a day to move, so you mustn't waste it on gaping out of windows and waving at the Lady knows who."

I walked back to the bed and sat down. "My baby's alive."

"A fighter you have there." A smile twitched at her lips. "You both should be dead, by rights. Like mother, like daughter, I see."

I rubbed my arms as I remembered the pain. I could have been killed on the spot when I attacked Sadler. If it wasn't for Rumble...

"Take it easy." She made me lie back on the bed. "We need to reach full term. Best chance we have of survival. All of this stress and ridiculousness has to stop, I told him. You need to be taken care of." She gave me a sharp look as she drew the blanket up to my chin. "It's a good thing you were gifted a pixie, but be careful of them. They can be devious."

"She's different." I stared at the ceiling. "Am I in trouble?"

"Not any more than usual. You're to be allowed to walk the grounds whenever you feel like it, but do not overdo it. You've been through so much already that it would be a shame if you lost now."

"What happens if I make like a summer wife and lose my mind? What happens to the baby?"

"We'll force you to eat, clean you, and take the baby from you when you give birth."

"So pretty much nothing changes."

"Ah, whisht. Enough of that. You don't want to go depressing yourself. Between the hormones and everything else. Have you eaten yet?"

I shook my head. "Anya's gone to get me something."

"Eat slowly but frequently. We need to put on some weight soon." She patted my cheeks. "And we need some colour here. I'll be back tomorrow to take a look at you. Try to remember if the baby moves today."

As if I could forget. All I had done since I'd woken up was to wait for the baby to move.

She left me alone. The key didn't turn. Curious, I went to the door and peeked out. No guards stood in the hall. I went back inside, feeling strange with the freedom of it.

When Anya returned with soup, I ate a few spoonfuls.

"Why is nobody locking the door?" I asked.

"Sadler hasn't ordered anyone to do it, so they've all stopped."

"So I can just... walk around the castle? And outside?"

"You weren't able to do that before?" She sighed. "No, I suppose you weren't. I'll make sure you can do those things. You needn't worry. Nobody has seen Sadler come out of his room since... you know."

"Did I really blind him?"

She nodded.

"He deserved it. I should have stabbed him through the heart instead."

She didn't reply.

I looked at her. "Don't tell me I did the wrong thing. He's a monster."

"Is there anything I can bring you? Don't think about the bad... things."

I nodded. "I just want to sleep a bit, I think. Or you could talk to me. About what I've been missing."

She went to the door and looked out into the hall. When she sat down again, she lowered her voice. "I've been kept out of the loop in case they tortured me for information."

"What?"

"Quiet! Just in case. They didn't expect it to happen. I'm a pixie. Worthless. When you vanished, everyone was in an uproar. We didn't know how it happened until we realised that Ronnie was gone, too."

"Vix was waiting for us outside in a carriage. Ronnie got me to follow her. I was trying to keep her safe. More fool me."

"Brendan almost lost his mind. He assumed you were dead already. He went straight to Drake and forced him to face Sadler with him."

"Drake didn't want to?" Why did that have to hurt so much? I had already heard him say worse.

"He didn't want to discuss anything with Sadler. He wanted to bring armies, start a war. Brendan showed him how stupid a move that would be. That's probably what Sadler really wanted."

"He wants my baby. Drake's the father, Brendan named her his heir, and now Sadler will own her."

"When they told me he married you, I threw up," she said. "Realtín cried for days. Brendan refused to let her and Grim come here. He knew something terrible would happen if they did. Sadler knew what he was doing. We've been so worried. We knew he would hurt you, but what he did... has that been happening regularly?"

I shrugged. "He's crazy. And addicted. After everyone arrived, we were in his room, and he was rolling around the floor like he was out of his head, along with that stupid doctor. He's the one I should have stabbed."

"Cara..." She hesitated. "The things he said... I'm sorry to ask if you don't want to discuss it, but has he been forcing you into his bed, too?"

"He hasn't touched me like that. I disgust him. He tried to make me stay in the bed while he was having sexy time with some poor faery. He hurt her, and I left. I slept in the hallway. She was covered in bruises when she left, but I haven't seen her since. He's an awful person. I've been trying to wind him up, though."

"Oh, we've heard. Green hats and rainbow wings."

I huffed. "Don't forget the body paint."

"What were you thinking? Bekind's right. You must have a death wish."

"When I wasn't noticed, they forgot about me, kept me locked up without food or anything. I had to cause a stir to survive. If he was half mad before, I probably drove him all the way. I just... I feel bad for the people here, Anya. They're hungry and tired and scared. They're not evil, but Sadler is a psychopath."

"But the Darkside—"

"Isn't their fault," I insisted. "They didn't cause it. They didn't choose it. They're stuck here. Just like us. That's like blaming Brendan and Drake on the things the old queens did. It's stupid."

"Calm down before you do yourself some damage."

"I'm tired." My eyes closed of their own accord. "Anya," I whispered after a few moments, "do you think the baby will be okay? Normal, I mean."

"Yes," she said vehemently. "Your baby will be wonderful."

"Do you think she'll have rainbow wings?"

She giggled and drew the blanket around my shoulders. "I have no idea, but she'll be beautiful either way."

***

I awoke in the night. The room was dark except for the pale lilac glow from the moon and a single lantern hanging beside the window. Anya was asleep next to me. Carefully, so as not to disturb her, I climbed out of bed and moved to the window. I would never get to go on another crazy adventure through lands I didn't know, never get to flirt and kiss and try to figure out who I liked best. I rubbed the curve of my stomach. I would never get to meet my baby.

Restless, I checked the door. It wasn't locked. Outside, the hall was empty. I hesitated, listening, but I heard no footsteps, not even breathing. I walked down the stairs, determined to explore when nobody was around to stop me.

I made my way to the second tower and passed empty rooms until I found the partner to mine. The door was locked. I pressed my ear against it, wondering if another prisoner was within. I whispered a hello, but nobody replied. I heard wheezing, but maybe it was just the wind.

Next, I went to Sadler's floor. I peeked around the corner. Soldiers stood guard outside his room. I wondered if one of them was Rumble. I slipped along the hallway to the next row of doors. They all belonged to those in favour with Sadler.

I froze when I heard movement. Leaning around the wall, I saw two figures at the end of the hall. Glic was pressed against the wall, the glaistig at his throat. He moaned with pleasure as she sucked his blood. Shivering, I backed away and went another direction.

I wandered around until I found the right staircase that led to the third tower. It was hidden in darkness, half blocked by a tapestry hanging from the ceiling. That part of the building hadn't yet been repaired. Most of the rooms were wide open, with chunks of the wall having fallen away.

I reached the topmost room and found another closed door. I expected it to be locked, too, but the handle turned easily. I stepped inside and waited until my eyes adjusted to the gloom. The room was dusty and full of old things. But in the centre, completely free of dust and dirt, stood a tall mirror with a gilded frame. The glass shone and glittered.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped closer to it. I saw only my own reflection. Then, the scene behind me began to change rapidly. I stood in a meadow, then a forest then a flower garden, and then in a blood-soaked field of a battle.

I touched the frame. It was warm and pulsing. At the top was an empty space the same size as the piece of glass embedded in the doctor's staff. So how had I seen the mirror before? Had Sadler left it somewhere? Had it moved by itself? I had no idea. But the images shifted in the reflection, and I found myself longing to see what was there.

I sat on the stone floor, ignoring the dust and dirt and chill. I saw myself dressed in black, those stupid rings on my fingers and the uncomfortable crown on my head. I saw my face grow hard and cold. I saw myself live. I didn't see my child.

Shivering, I kept watching. Sorcha, dying in childbirth, Arlen, alone and suffering in the middle of a desert, and Deorad, standing tall. That was impossible. The mirror had proven true once, but how could it say a dead man was living. Unless...

I watched carefully, trying to commit every detail to memory. I saw soldiers wearing black, green, and silver. I saw myself holding a bloody sword, specks of crimson on my face. I saw wings freshly cut from a faery's body—silver dashed with blood. I would have recognised them anywhere.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, but I couldn't stop watching. And no matter how hard I looked, still no child. What did that mean? Would only one of us survive?

Footsteps sounded behind me. I sucked in a breath. I didn't look around.

"Every night, I look, and still it denies me," Sadler said. "It never shows me what I want to see. The only time I've ever seen a thing in this mirror... it's been twice now. The first was before the provings, before I knew about my grandson, that he still lived, at least. I saw you in the mirror, innocent and childlike, winning over the fae. I knew then that I had to do something."

"What was the second time?" I asked.

"The second time I saw you by my side on the dais, your belly full with child. I thought it was mine until I realised you were already... there. I tried to bring about what I saw, but it never happens the way I plan it. That's the spite in the thing."

I watched Brendan stab Drake through the heart. "This isn't the first time I've seen the mirror."

"How could you have seen it before?"

"I thought you put it there. In a field, in the middle of night. I saw how everyone died. Except for me. I lived a long time."

"What else do you see in there?" he asked eagerly.

"I see your son." I wrapped my arms around my body. "I see him alive."

"Such a mirror," he whispered. He cleared his throat. "I've sent the doctor away. Best to keep the temptation far from me. At least until..."

"The withdrawal will be a kicker."

"It won't be the first time," he said dryly. "Nor the first fae it's happened to."

"Right." I tried but failed to pull my gaze away from that bloody mirror.

"You're safe for a time. No need to tempt fate now."

"All we do is tempt fate."

"Some of my people left with... them. They didn't like what they saw, what they felt. They're afraid."

"Of me?"

"Of me. Of kings. Of the taint. They want a different life. And so they left. But it's all because of you."

"And so your power weakens." I sensed his anger, but he didn't speak. I didn't care. "You have a poor army. You put on a good show, but if they come for you, your army doesn't stand a chance."

"Not one bit of a chance. That's what a king is for, to find the work-around. I might not have the army, but I have you. I'll have your child, and I have superstition working on my side."

"You're going to ruin the fae," I said. What was with that room? There was something eerie about the way we spoke in front of the mirror, as if we couldn't say anything but exactly what we were thinking. "You and Drake will be their downfall. Turns out Brendan really is the better king, and you've become the monster."

"I have. It gladdens me. He was right all along. Weakness is our downfall. This is the only way to survive in the Dark Court, in the path of chaos. I answer to a different god than the golden king of old. He's not the only one who has made a deal with a higher being." He left me alone then.

I waited until the sun began to rise and the strange moonlit magic faded, then I went back to my room and crawled into bed. I needed rest. I had a lot of work to do.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Rat brought me a huge platter of food for breakfast.

"I'm eating for two, not twenty," I told her.

"Is it not good?" she asked.

I looked at eggs and sausages, fruit and pancakes and laughed. "It's great, but where did it all come from?"

"The human realm." Rat stoked the fire. "And it's all for you."

I put enough on a couple of plates for Anya and me. "Take the rest outside."

Rat looked at me, her pinkish eyes widening. "Outside? Why?"

"Uh, to the big monstrosities that house way too many starving refugees. Ring a bell?"

She blinked rapidly. "But it's for you."

Anya giggled. "Her eyes will bug out of her head if you keep talking. Rat! Get the food out of here and hand it out to the people sleeping in the tents. Tell the kitchens that humans eat a lot and do the same with every meal."

"But I—"

Anya bared her teeth. "Are you going to disobey your queen?"

Rat clamped her mouth shut and scurried from the room. She returned with another maid and set about transporting the food. Anya followed to make sure they did as I said.

"Obedient little sheep," she said when she returned. "And maybe one or two could be persuaded to help you leave."

But what would happen to them when I left, I wondered.

The rest of the week was spent recovering, but it was soon time to go back to court. Fewer faeries sneered at my appearance. Some seemed relieved to see me, probably because Sadler would make them all suffer if I died before he planned. He mostly ignored me, and the doctor was gone, so court wasn't as tough as it had been. The midwife tutted and moaned about me attending, but I wanted to learn as much as possible in case I did manage to escape.

Anya and I pushed our limits outside the castle, trying to figure out any weak points we could take advantage of. Although fewer guards stalked me unless I moved too close to the gates, Sadler's army kept a watchful eye on the boundary line.

As the days passed, it became apparent that the Dark Court was changing. Colour returned. Faeries began to smile at me. The refugees calmed a little when they believed that Sadler had a plan to provide for them. No news came of war or invading troops. We were all at a kind of stalemate, biding our time until the baby arrived.

In my room, away from listening ears, Anya passed on rumours about Sadler.

"They say he secretly spent time in the human realm after his wife died, that he aged without noticing because he was too busy overdosing on human pain. It looks like old habits die hard."

"He mentioned having made his own deals with a god. Think that's why he's healthier now?"

"Borrowed time," Anya whispered. "A gift that can be lost. That's good news."

I didn't know about that. "A mirror appeared in the Darkside after you got hurt. Drake didn't believe me, but I saw it. It showed me things. A sliver of it was missing. The doctor was using it on me."

"A mirror?" She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I woke up in the middle of nowhere, hearing Grim calling my name, but it was the mirror trying to trick me. When I touched it, I felt like I lost a part of me, like it was pulling something out of me. And the doctor's been using the sliver of glass to provoke my emotions. I don't know how it works, but it seems like something they've done before, and they enjoy doing it."

She shivered. "I don't like the sound of that."

"The mirror is upstairs. It still shows me things."

"Keep away from that mirror," Anya said. "It's evil."

I looked away. "I saw everyone die. I felt like it was my fault. Like me being around triggered bad things. Sadler saw me as his wife in the mirror. That's why he took me. What if that's the first step? What if he sees something else? Maybe I need to leave the faery realm before it's too late, Anya."

I thought she was going to brush it off, just like Drake and Brendan had, but she nodded. "I don't know everything, but if it is prophetic..."

"The first time I saw it, I saw myself all in black, wearing Sadler's rings and that stupid crown."

"And now, here you are." She sighed. "We need to figure out a way to leave before it's too late. When the child is about to arrive, you won't be able to run."

"Can we see Dubh today?"

She nodded. "Let's. I don't like this place. I hope we leave it sooner rather than later."

As we stepped carefully down the stairs, me slower than usual because I was extra-aware of the baby, I glanced at Anya. "Do you really believe in Brighid?"

"We're lost without her. Look at Líle. Look at the kings."

"If she really is looking out for me, then what does she want? What is it that I'm supposed to do?"

"I have no idea. But I'm excited to find out." She danced in front of me as we stepped outside of the castle.

I gripped her hand to still her. "Anya, I'm going to die. This is a death sentence. I think maybe I've been supposed to die since the moment I set foot into that festival on the very first night. I think my time is running out."

"I won't let that happen." Milky tears rolled down her cheeks. "I won't let them kill you."

"I've been thinking..." I glanced around to see if anyone was close by. "Anya, when they come to kill me, I'm going to do whatever I can to draw attention to me. You need to be gone when that happens. Take the baby if you can, but you can't hang around. I'll do what I can to distract the guards, but you need to take Dubh and go. If you wrapped the baby up tight then—"

She pressed her palms against her ears. "Stop it!"

"Anya! You have to face up to it. It's going to happen. There's no way we're getting out of here unnoticed. Something major would have to happen." I made a face. "Like me killing Sadler at the dinner table in front of half the realm. What was I thinking, going for his eye?"

"They would have killed you for it! I thought you were going to die as it was."

"Oh, shit. Ronnie's at the stables."

She was sitting in front of the stables, flowers stuck behind her ears, muttering to herself. When she saw me, she beamed.

"Ronnie," I said, "how are they treating you?"

"I'm just waiting for my baby." She stood and reached for me.

Anya slapped her hand away.

"They won't let you have the baby," I told her. "They're never going to let you have her."

"Him!" she screamed. "He's a boy!"

I stepped back, half expecting her to hit me, but she ran off in the opposite direction.

"She'll never recover." But Anya sounded as though she didn't care.

Inside the stables, we passed a number of beautiful horses, including the ginger one that had been given to Sadler.

When we came to Dubh, I started to cry. "Dubh," I whispered.

He whinnied and lowered his head to nip my shoulder.

"I missed you, you big jerk."

"Careful, my lady." A boy stood a few feet away, a pitchfork in hand. "He's a spiteful one if he takes a dislike to you."

"I'll be fine. Can I... walk him outside?"

"Please," he said, sounding relieved. "I can't ride him. He won't let me. And you can't ride him, but if... no. Maybe I should ask for help from—"

"You don't deny our queen," Anya snapped, her sharp teeth gleaming even in the low light.

The boy stuttered something before helping us prepare Dubh to go outside. The horse was antsy after being locked in a stable for so long. The boy led him out and reluctantly handed me the reins before leaving us alone. A black cat wound her way around my ankles. I stared down in surprise.

Anya frowned. "You were supposed to stay hidden."

Bekind mewled in response.

"Come on," I said. "Let's all go for a walk then."

I removed the reins and harness from Dubh when nobody was looking. Free, he ran the length of the courtyard, scaring a half-dozen soldiers in the process.

"Come on, Dubh," I called out. "Stop screwing around."

The soldiers stared as the giant faery horse trotted after me like an obedient dog.

"They think I'm badass because of that horse," I said.

Anya giggled. The cat darted off into the distance. Dubh trotted around, leaving Anya and me behind.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about Bekind," I whispered.

"I didn't think you would see her. She's supposed to be our spy."

I thought about the locked room. There had to be a secret hidden in there. Maybe Bekind could help me find out what it was.

When we passed the gardens, the head gardener approached, twisting his hat in his hands. "We planted a rose bush for you. But the soil is so bad here that it might not grow."

"I probably won't be alive long enough to see it anyway."

He shifted on his feet. "We've been looking for those white flowers, too, but we haven't seen them yet."

I shrugged. "Thanks for trying. Maybe I was just imagining them."

He gave me a funny look then went back to work.

"White flowers?" Anya asked.

"Long story," I said, suddenly feeling tired. "There's a swing over there. Can we sit?"

"Should we go back inside?"

"I want to be outside in the fresh air. I just need to sit for a while."

She led me to the swinging seat. It seemed so out of place in the miserable Chaos Court that was not so much chaos as depression.

I swayed on the seat. "I wonder who put this here."

"Aren't you scared?" she asked as Dubh and Bekind made their way toward us. "You seem so relaxed. I find the place unsettling."

"It's about as weird to me as Brendan's court. To me, the faery realm is the faery realm. I'm probably more familiar with the Darkside anyway."

"Remember the oblivion waters? Remember when..." She sighed. "I miss Arlen."

"You could sneak away. They don't watch you."

She ignored me. Bekind leapt onto my lap and curled around my stomach.

"Bekind," I whispered, "on the top floor of the tower is a locked room. Want to help me check it out?"

She purred in response.

"No, Cara," Anya said. "You can't wander the castle."

"I have to. I have to know what's here. Besides, Sadler already caught me. He didn't tell me to stop."

"He's insane," she said in a panicked tone. "He might turn on you next time. If there is nobody around to stop him..."

"What are you doing out here?" Vix demanded, coming up behind us.

I tried to relax. "Sitting."

She made a face. "With a horse, a pixie, and a... cat. Cats are unlucky."

"Black cat," I said. "Isn't that lucky for us?"

"Us?" she asked scornfully. "Don't pretend you think you are one of us."

"What am I then?"

Her expression smoothed. "I have no idea. Get back inside. The midwife is looking for you."

I blew out a sigh. There was always someone looking for me.

***

Sitting in court, I peeked at Sadler. He had made no reference to what I had done to him. His eye patch was black, of course, and every subject that knelt at the foot of the steps looked from the patch to me and back again. We were the one subject on everyone's lips, even down to the most insignificant fae.

A tall, haughty looking woman strode into the hall unannounced.

Sadler looked up in surprise as she approached. "Fiadh? Your husband informed us you wouldn't be returning to court. He said that your child is sickly."

She nodded, her eyes drifting to an annoyed-looking male fae who currently had his hand up his companion's dress. With a jolt, I realised it was Glic, the faery who had tried to stop his servant from appearing before Sadler. Marie had returned home afterward, but I thought of her often.

"It's true," Fiadh said. "And when I heard what's been happening here, I decided to bring my son."

"To what end?" Sadler inquired.

She glanced at me. "I thought the queen could... do something. Perhaps he can touch the mark of the fenris or—"

Glic jumped to his feet, dumping his companion onto the lap of another fae, who wrapped his arms around her waist. She giggled and buried her face into his neck.

"What are you doing?" Glic demanded. "You don't come here and ask to touch the queen as if you were a commoner! Get that child home this instant."

Ignoring him, she focused on me. "They say you can't be harmed, that your child is some kind of magical force and that you're blessed by the goddess of fertility. I don't care what they say. My son is dying. I'm desperate. Can you please... please help me?"

Seeing a faery show emotion of her own that wasn't hate or anger was so rare that I was momentarily stunned. An enormous warrior fae with wings that swept the floor carried in a boy that I assumed was Fiadh's son. Then I realised everyone was staring at me.

I cleared my throat. "What's wrong with him?"

"This isn't court business," Sadler said.

"Then I'll deal with her elsewhere," I said.

"You treat my prized possession as a nursemaid!" Glic roared, pointing at the warrior.

"Conn has taken care of your household like a man," Fiadh said, her eyes gleaming. "He's all you left to defend us."

"Take this circus out of here," Sadler said, dismissing me.

I motioned for Fiadh and Conn to follow me. Vix, Rumble, and Anya joined us. I led them into the kitchen. A maid backed away from Conn when he carried the child into the room.

Fiadh's cheeks reddened. "My son is not contagious."

"I can see that," the cook said. "He has the darkness in him is all. Was born in a bad place, I reckon. We're no strangers to it."

Fiadh nodded and sat at the table. The warrior fae laid the child carefully on her lap.

She smiled at him. "Thank you, Conn."

The child looked about ten in human years, but he was tiny, thin, and weak. Under his skin, grey veins could be seen.

"Does... this happen a lot then?" I asked.

"It's the sickness," the cook said. "It gets us all in the end."

"My husband made me return home to have the child," Fiadh explained. "He said we would have a strong Darksider. He was wrong. As soon as the babe was born, I could see there was something wrong. He's been getting weaker every day." She lifted his shirt. "This started recently."

His stomach was covered in black wart-like growths.

"It's like a tumour," she said, "eating him from the inside out. The land is tainted. I don't know what to do for him. We don't have medicine, at least not enough, not for this. Can you do anything?"

"I'm... I don't have any power," I said, thinking hard. "But there might be a place you can go."

Anya looked at me. "He won't let you leave."

"Not me." I nodded the woman. "Are you willing to travel?"

She nodded. "Anything. I would do anything."

I bit my lip. If I didn't do something, her child would probably die or else become some kind of horrific creature. I remembered the creatures from the Hollows, the dark patches on their skin. I thought of the mirror, how darkness had emerged from under my skin. My baby would be born in the Darkside. I had to do something.

"I'll give you my horse," I said. "And he'll take you to the Miacha."

The cook dropped a pot, spilling soup on the floor. She ignored it as the maids scurried around her to clean up. "Did you say the Miacha?"

I nodded. "I was there once. They have all kinds of herbs and medicines. They might be able to help you. But even if they can't, they're in neutral territory, in the Great Forest. The change in the air might help. If it does, then maybe you should think about... staying there."

The sudden silence in the room sent shivers down my back.

"Leave the court?" Fiadh glanced at Conn. "They won't allow this."

"You'll already be gone." I blew out a breath, knowing I was getting into something I wouldn't be able to get out of. "I have a few favours to ask first."

Conn tensed.

I looked up at him. "You could ride my horse. She can follow in a carriage. Once you get to neutral territory, mark the carriage with all three flags. If someone from either court approaches you and asks where you got the horse, quickly explain, and if you could, let them know that I'm okay. I'm... okay."

He nodded, looking too surprised to speak.

"Fiadh, if you find the Miacha, could you tell them I sent you and that I know now why they were congratulating me?" I smiled. "And ask them if they can send any of their gifts our way. Tell them the Darkside is in desperate need of some care."

Fiadh leaned back in her chair. I waited for someone to speak, to say anything at all.

"This... is not what I expected," Fiadh said at last.

Her son convulsed with a cough and black tar-like liquid poured from his nose and mouth.

"Jesus," I whispered. What would happen to my own child? "You should leave today. I'll have to introduce you to the horse. Don't ask. He's contrary, but he's fast and strong. If you get into trouble, get on his back and ride. He'll outrun anything. He'll find the Miacha. No worries."

She nodded. "If I don't return, I'll send the... gifts back to you."

I held up my hand. "If the baby has been born by then, I'll probably be dead. If I'm dead, give them to the gardeners. Tell them I want them to plant. Tell them... to take good care of those gifts. They might help."

Fiadh handed the child to Conn, her eyes overly bright. She hugged me. I tried not to flinch at the contact, but she was genuinely grateful, not trying to take from me.

"You could touch the mark if you wanted to," I said. "But the fenris left me with a scar, not some kind of magic."

"This is a kind of magic," she whispered, "what's happening right now. Should I tell my husband I'm leaving?"

"Fuck him. He's an ignoramus anyway." I gave the cook a hopeful smile. "Do you think you can give them some food?"

She stared at me for a long time. "I can do that."

"Great. Let's go to the stables so I can introduce you to Dubh. He comes across as an arsehole, but he's a good horse."

Vix caught my arm as I stood. "I hope you know what you're doing."

I had completely forgotten about her. "Are you going to stop me?"

She shrugged. "You're not doing anything wrong. You're giving that horse away. One less thing for me to worry about. But... my lady, don't think that you can change the court like this. Don't think that those herbs or plants will grow here. Don't think you can save that boy."

"It's not me. It's the Miacha. And by everyone's reaction when I say I met them, they already are a miracle, so why wouldn't they be able to perform one?"

"They truly exist?" she asked, sounding as if she desperately needed to believe it.

"I was cared for by them. They helped me journey through the Darkside. They're healers, mothers, carers. If anyone can help the boy, they can."

I looked up at Rumble. "Let's all go to the stables then."

I imagined that under his helmet, he smiled.

Chapter Twenty-Three

When Dubh and the carriage left, Anya waited until we returned to my room then burst into tears.

I wrapped my arms around her. "Calm down."

"You sent Dubh away. How are we going to escape now?"

"He'll be back."

"But it might be too late for you! What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking I couldn't sit there, knowing about the Miacha, and not help. He's going to die if he doesn't get help. Or worse."

She blinked away her tears. "Worse?"

"Didn't you see? It was as if he were transforming, the way the land here has transformed." I hesitated then decided to just get it over and done with. "When I saw myself in the mirror, I was changed. Kind of like the boy, but I wasn't sick with it."

"What do you mean?"

"When I first met Líle, she looked like she had a fire under her skin, a trail of burning embers. It was so pretty. Anyway, in the mirror, my skin was like that, except the fire had turned to ash. Smokey ash. Toxic. Poisoned. But I was healthy. I just looked... bad."

"As in?"

I sat on the bed and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. "As in evil."

"The mirror is a lie. It has to be a lie."

"I might look again. Just to see what it shows me."

She frowned. "You can't let a mirror lead you in life."

"That's what Sadler did. He said the mirror never shows him anything he wants to see. The only time he's been shown something... well, both times were images of me. I just don't get why it's showing me so many things, what the purpose of it is."

"I'll smash it." She pulled at her hair. "If you go back, I'll smash it to pieces."

"Sadler would punish you."

"I don't care! It's a lie! It's making you think things that won't come true."

"Everyone dies because of me," I said, lost in my memories of scenes in the mirror. "My being here pushes us all on a path to disaster. There's no saving us."

She squeezed my arm. "What are you saying? You're scaring me! Stop talking in that voice."

I looked at her and frowned. I had been outside myself, looking in. I cleared my throat. "Dubh will come back, hopefully with whatever the Miacha send."

I spent the rest of the day trying to reassure her that everything was okay. I was becoming a better liar all the time. That night, when Anya slept, I left my room again. Bekind was waiting in the hall, mewling. I wore my cloak to cover my face. Maybe if the guards saw me, they would think I was just another faery trying to crawl into bed and forge half an emotion with someone else.

The cat and I crept up to the locked room. The same noise came from within, and there was still no answer when I knocked on the door. Bekind would find us a way in; I just knew it.

On our way back, I led her to the room that housed the mirror. Bekind's fur rose on her back when we entered. She spat and hissed.

"Human," I whispered. "Talk to me."

I checked the hall and stairs as she morphed out of her cat form. Her expression was grim.

"Now what's wrong?" I asked.

"Is this the mirror they spoke of? The one you claimed to see?"

"Yes! The doctor hurt me with a shard of its glass. It shows me things, shows everyone dying."

"And you touched it?"

"For a minute. What is it?"

"It feels like danger." She walked around it and then stopped in front of the glass. "I don't see myself. I see you right there, but I don't see me. It's as if I don't exist."

I saw her. Dying. Multiple times. I decided to keep that to myself.

"I don't like this room. I feel like it will do me harm."

"If you're not going to make any sense or explain anything, then you might as well be a cat," I said, frustrated.

"Someone's coming," she whispered. "Hide in the back."

"But I'm—"

"Do it!" She turned back into the cat and scurried away.

I heard footsteps on the stairs, lighter than Sadler's. I hid in the back of the room, behind a bunch of old trunks that had been piled on top of each other.

The person came into the room, rummaged around, then left. I moved to the door to see who it was. A short cloaked figure descended the stairs then turned into the hallway as if to cross into the other tower.

I followed at a distance, hiding behind walls in an effort to be stealthy. He or she started up the second flight of stairs. I took a couple of steps then heard a door unlocking and someone stepping into an upper-level room. There was the sound of someone speaking, a door locking again, then nothing. I waited for a while before returning to the mirror room.

I froze in the doorway. The mirror was gone. I wandered around the room, checking out the boxes and trunks, until Bekind returned.

She morphed into human form. "You are not good at sneaking. Someone is in that locked room, lives there. I can smell... death."

I shook my head. "The mirror is gone, and I don't know why. I don't know what the hell is going on, but I'm going to find out. Look at all of this stuff." I blew dust off a trunk and opened it—full of jewels. The next was the same. "It's like a freaking pirate stash up here. Why can't he use this to buy food and supplies?"

"Worthless when nobody will sell to you." She sneezed. "I'm leaving. Are you coming?"

"I just want to look a while longer."

She grunted then turned into the cat and ran out of the room. I opened more trunks. They were all fitted with golden locks that weren't secured. Some contained weapons; others held beautiful decorations. I lifted a heavy gold horse and thought of Drake's carvings.

At the back of the room, behind all of the fabulous paintings and tapestries, I found a small box, kind of like my mother's jewellery box. I might have overlooked it if it wasn't for that quick reminder that ripped out pieces of my heart. Would she ever know her grandchild? Ever learn how I ended up?

Shuddering with an odd belated sense of grief, I opened the box and gasped. The contents consisted of an assortment of keepsakes: a pair of baby booties, a haphazardly painted carving of a soldier, a necklace, hairpins made from clear glass and shaped like doves, and an aged piece of paper with faded lines of a poem.

Buried at the bottom was a stick with one end encased in a circle of brass and the other pointed. At the very tip of the pointed end, lines of black were embedded into the wood like webbing. I picked up the stick, which turned out to be heavier than it looked. Feeling something wash over me, I closed my eyes and squeezed the wood. Shivering at the sense of relief engulfing me, I opened my eyes. Moving my fingers revealed a black handprint on the wood. The wood absorbed the stain, and I checked my hand—nothing there.

I started to put the box away, but I couldn't do it. Something niggled at me, some tidbit of information that I had forgotten. I racked my brain, but exhaustion worked against me.

I slipped the stick into the waistband of my skirt. It was time to go back to wearing clothes with lots of pockets and hiding places, to wear sharp pins in my hair, and to become the toxic bitch of the faery realm. I needed to start pushing the pieces of the puzzle together and head home.

I grew determined to get home and take my baby with me.

***

Fiadh's husband approached the dais the next morning, looking angry. "Where is my wife? She took my son somewhere. I want to know where!"

Sadler shrugged. "I didn't deal with her."

Glic stabbed a finger in my direction. "You. You did this to spite me."

"Did what? Helped your son? How the hell is that spiteful?"

"Glic isn't the true heir," Vix said in a lazy tone. "His son is. This man is only a temporary... holder."

"Don't speak to me, slave," he snapped. "I am pure-blooded. An elite. You will bow down to your superiors, or I'll have your head."

"He just threatened to do something only you have the right to do in this court," I told Sadler. "I wouldn't stand for that kind of insolence."

Glic spluttered, his red face turning purple.

I flattened my emotions. "Your son and wife are on the way to a healer who will hopefully be able to clear him of the dark taint that's winding its way around his body. Something you haven't helped by forcing them to remain in a place that is suffering with it. Now you might be too busy spreading the legs of anyone with low enough standards to take you, but I'm not too busy to help one of the Dark Court's subjects."

The man looked from me to Sadler and back again. He looked as though he was about to explode.

I added, "Oh, and by the way. She's in the hands of an extremely handsome warrior fae, so I'm pretty sure she's gotten the better end of the deal these days."

With a howl of rage, Glic reached for his sword. I whipped the dagger out of Reynard's sheath and held it in a threatening pose. He froze, his hand still on the hilt of his sword.

"Do you want to duel me?" I asked brightly.

"W... what?"

"A duel. Is that why you went for your sword? You were hardly about to be treasonous enough to unsheathe your weapon in front of your king. So did you want to duel the pregnant queen, or were you planning on assassinating someone unarmed?"

Nervous laughter filled the room. Glic's hands shook as he raised them in a gesture of submission.

"Enough of this," Sadler said, although he sounded mildly entertained. "Take him out of here until he calms down. Perhaps a stay in the stables with that wild faery horse will improve his mood."

Nobody bothered to tell him that my wild faery horse was long gone with Fiadh. Two soldiers led Glic away. He was so stunned that he didn't bother to struggle.

Sadler pinched my wrist and took the dagger from my hand. He glared at Reynard. "What kind of guard are you to let her take your weapon? If she had harmed me with it, what would you have done? Helped her?"

Reynard spluttered an incoherent answer.

"It's time for you to return to the Hollows with the rest of the cretins," Sadler said. "While you're there, recall your troops. And if you happen to see Fiadh on your way, wish her a safe journey."

Two soldiers dragged the protesting Reynard out of the great hall.

"If there was an assassination attempt, you would certainly be the most likely candidate for victim," Sadler told me. He sounded exhausted.

When I really looked at him, I saw he had aged dramatically in the last few days. He was closer to the old man I had first met than to the strong king who had forced me into marriage.

"Let us break until tomorrow. You may all dine without me." Sadler left without another word, leaving me sitting there alone.

A few stragglers had been waiting for a long time, so I sent them to the kitchen to ask the cook for some food and drink.

"Is there anything I can get you?" Anya asked me.

"I might nap."

"You haven't eaten today. You need to eat. The baby is too small," she said, sounding worried.

"The pixie is correct," Bart said, coming out of the shadows. "And the midwife will be here in a few hours."

"I forgot. Fine, I'll have some lunch."

"Pixie," Bart said, "run ahead and organise a plate for the queen. I will walk her to the dining room."

She hesitated, but I waved her on, widening my eyes at her. Bart was a mystery I wanted to solve.

I looked at him we headed out of the great hall. "I haven't seen you much lately."

"I'm a busy man." He frowned. "You look exhausted. Are all of those late-night trips taking their toll?"

I stopped in my tracks. "Were you in the locked room?"

"The locked room?" He shook his head. "I do not dare enter the forbidden tower."

"Forbidden? Why? What's up there?"

"You know better than I," he said with a sly smile. "What have you discovered while you roam at night?"

"Not much I haven't seen before. Is the doctor back?"

"No. He's been exiled for a time. He will return but not before the child is born. The temptation is—"

"Yeah, I know." I continued walking. "Is that a typical fae thing? That addiction?"

"For some, but most of those exist in the human realm and live relatively brief lives. For a time, it was the fashion to bring humans to court and... overdose on their fear. But it only worked with a certain type of human. And it soon became frowned upon when the after-effects became obvious. You are well now, are you not?"

I was tired and weak, but that would probably have been true even without Sadler's influence. "I'm doing good."

"You're strong. I'm keen to see what kind of child you have."

"What kind?"

"Human, fae, influenced by the mother or the father. Nature versus nurture." He smiled. "I'm interested in a lot of things, my lady."

"I'm interested in you. If you aren't one of the elite like our friend back there, then what's your purpose here?"

"I can be useful. I assume Sadler thinks it's worth the price he might pay."

"And what price is that?"

He lowered his voice. "Unless you have to pay it, you need never know."

"How did you know I was up in the towers?"

"I know a lot of things. I listen more than I talk, although I have a feeling that is exactly opposite in your company. May I sit with you at lunch?"

"Of course," I said. "I'm always happy for the company."

We turned into the dining room. Anya was waiting for me at the head of the table.

"And yet you seem entirely pleased by the company of a pixie," he murmured. "I heard another rumour about you, one that said a pixie once made you her burden and that you released her and begged her king for her freedom. I heard she might even have accompanied you to the Fade."

"There was no pixie in the Fade," I said quickly.

He laughed. "Spoken like a true faery."

"I'm no faery," I said. "Best not forget that."

"I never forget. The leanan sídhe claimed you as a relative. Is that not true?"

"It's what I'm told. But she's ancient, so I doubt there's much of her in my blood."

"Enough to free her from her bonds."

We took our seats.

"Like I said. I only know what I'm told."

"I think you're smarter than you like us to credit you for."

"What was that you said before about being underestimated?" I smiled at him before picking up my fork. The faeries at the table followed my lead.

"You command without even speaking, almost as if you were raised to do it," Bart said. It sounded like a compliment, but the insinuation was a dead weight in my chest.

"We all have to learn what to do to survive."

He nodded. "I know that better than anyone. And how is this court different to the others?"

I stared at my food, holding my breath to keep from sighing. "I've never been to the Silver Court."

"The Unseelie of new. I confess my surprise. But you're familiar with the new Seelie court, of course."

"It's... brighter there. Less of the misery with pretty much the same amount of drama and politics."

"You're obviously well versed in the qualities of all three kings by now," he said. "Which do you favour? Can one's weakness be covered by the strengths of another? Do you think we will face war?"

I looked at him, seeing him for the first time. He wasn't what he seemed. Then again, neither was I. "I'm sure I know no more than you do."

Chapter Twenty-Four

For the next few days, I felt exhausted and spent a lot of time resting in my room, much to the midwife's relief. My stomach was growing astonishingly quickly, but my cheeks had become hollow, my fingers almost skeletal thin.

There was no word from Fiadh yet, but I hadn't expected there to be. The court was quiet, with only a small amount of the usual drama. But my time was running out. That became apparent every morning I awoke to find it that much harder to sit up. I found more freedom than before, stopping into the kitchens every morning to steal some of the freshly baked bread.

One day, the cook rapped my knuckles when I burned my fingers on a scone that had just been taken out of the oven. "You're as bad as the children when they're around."

"Where are the children? Will they be back soon? Will I see them?"

The cook stared at me. "You think you won't be around long then?"

"I'm not a real queen. He just wants the baby. After she's born, I'm of no use to anyone."

"He can't kill the queen just like that," a maid whispered. "The laws will—"

"He killed the wife he loved," I said.

The cook gave a harsh laugh. "Trust me. It's easier to find the will to kill a loved one than a stranger."

I widened my eyes. Anya giggled.

The cook waved her spoon. "Now get out of my kitchen if you've just come to mock me."

"I'm bored." I took a seat. "There's no court being held today. Is Sadler gone somewhere?"

"No, he never leaves the castle." She brushed flour off her hands. "And we've no way of entertaining you."

"Tell me about the children. There were so many of them. Who takes care of them?"

"Depends on where they stay. He likes to keep them together. Sometimes he likes to have them around. He hasn't wanted them since... he got better." The cook moved a pot onto the stove. "Said he doesn't like the screeching."

"Will my baby be sent with them?" I asked.

"Likely so," the cook said. "The older children are used to watching the smaller ones. A baby won't cause them any fuss at all."

"But will they love her?"

She gave a little gasp. "You know where you are, little lady. There's no room for love in the faery realm, never mind the Darkside. The child will be spoiled for a time, ignored for longer. If the little one is lucky, Sadler will favour him."

"Her," I said.

"As you say." She huffed. "But it must be some great force of magic that allows you to see inside your own womb."

"Back home, we have machines that do that," I said. "You can see the baby. I had a picture, but... I left it behind."

"That's a queer kind of magic."

"Not magic. Technology. It's nice. Makes things easier. Have you ever been to the human realm?"

She shook her head and ladled some fresh soup into bowls in front of Anya and me to go with the bread and scones. "I've been around humans but never ventured quite that far. I once lived in the Seelie court. When the twin queens reigned, Sadler took all of us away. To here, as it turned out."

"Did the queens know?"

She shrugged. "I doubt they cared. They had their own troubles. Most came from the fact they hated each other. Downfall comes along the strangest methods." She looked at me as if suddenly realising who she was talking to. "Eat up then get out. It's far too hot in here for you."

We finished eating and headed outside. The sun was shining, and the heat was as about as intolerable as in the desert. I fanned myself, wishing for an ice-pop.

"I think you were right about them," Anya said as we wandered, waving at the gardeners, who looked ready to pass out. "They are like the rest of us. But this place weaves some darkness into their souls, fools them into thinking it's normal."

"Remember the Black Marshes? How we all felt miserable and unhappy all of the way through? Well, it's like some of that filters in the air and blows this way. It's like everyone has a burden on their shoulders. And look at Fiadh's son, the marks on his skin because he was born here. Back at the Hollows, the first creatures that came out of the hills had black patches on their skin. And have you ever seen Sadler's patchy hands? It's like a disease."

I still hadn't shown her the stick. I wasn't sure if it was a weapon or not, and I didn't want her to take it away. The mirror hadn't returned, and I had no idea who to blame. The longer I was away from it, the easier it was to think of the visions I had seen as dreams, but some were stamped onto my mind more firmly than others.

I saw Ronnie in the distance, washing in a pond.

"Look at her," I said. "She'll fall in, hanging over like that."

"Let her drown," Anya said. "She deserves it."

"Don't talk like that."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sick of death." I stepped toward Ronnie. "I've been feeling guilty about our journey. I took lives without thinking, lives of fae who were only obeying their orders. I feel... weird about that. They weren't to blame. I've been right next to the fae I could blame, and I haven't tried to take their lives. I'm trying to work through my feelings about that."

"If you killed them, you would die. You're protecting your child. You would never kill someone who didn't deserve to die."

"But who am I to decide that, Anya?"

She looked askance at me. At times like that, I wished for Zoe. She would understand in a human way. But she probably wouldn't recognise me anymore.

"Ronnie," I called out as we neared the pond, "be careful in the water."

The woman ignored me. She was in just her underwear, unworried about being seen. She eased into the water, throwing her head back, her face to the sun.

"Ronnie!" I reached the water. "Did you hear me?"

"Hurry up and give me my baby." She turned to scowl at me. "Did you hear that?"

"Don't you want to go home?" I asked. "To your job, your books?"

Something glinted between her breasts. A long linked chain hung around her neck, and dangling from that was a beautiful ornate key. My heart paused. A key. A locked room. Holy crap, Ronnie was the answer to everything.

"Come sit with me," I told her. "Let's sunbathe together and talk about the baby. Have you picked a name?"

"Cara," Anya whispered harshly, "what are you thinking?"

Ignoring her, I sat on the grass and dangled my feet in the pond. The water was warm but refreshing.

Looking suspicious, Ronnie came closer to me. "I have names."

"Good. You'll need to be prepared. Where will the baby sleep?"

She smiled dreamily. "In the tower."

"Nice. Have you been in the tower?" I asked. "In the locked room?"

Her hand clutched around the key. "That's my room." She giggled. "That's where I sleep. All mine."

"I thought somebody else lived in that room."

She burst into unsettling laughter. "Nobody lives there. Nobody."

"Okay." I saw the black cat out of the corner of my eye. "I understand."

"You can't come into my room," she said sharply. "Not ever. It's all for me, he told me."

"Of course. It's all yours."

"You don't live up there," Anya told Ronnie. "You sleep with the maids, next to the kitchen. I saw you in there."

"I have two rooms!" Ronnie screamed.

Every ounce of her old self had vanished. I didn't know what to make of her. Would she become normal-ish again if she left the faery realm? She splashed out of the water, grabbed her clothes, and ran off.

"We need to get that key," I said.

"Why?" Anya asked.

"Someone or something is in that room, and it's important. I need to see, or I'll go mad."

"You mean like Ronnie?"

"Dying wish, Anya," I said brightly. "Can't ignore them."

"That was an awful thing to say." She screwed up her face. "Let Bekind and me take care of it. That woman deserves everything she gets."

"It's not her fault. She's not to blame for any of this."

"She chose to bring you here. She chose to come to the faery realm again. Grim told me how she was obsessed with you. She helped Sadler steal you. You could have died here. Have you not realised how lucky you are? They could have tormented you every second of every day until you lost your mind. They could have done so much more to you than they have."

But they hadn't. The big, bad monsters had taken care of me, mostly. So what did that mean?

***

Outside the great hall, Bekind dropped the key at my feet. Anya was nowhere to be seen. I bent as if to fix my shoe then tucked the key under my cloak. Being pregnant helped me hide a lot of things.

When I approached the thrones, Bart was staring at me. I still hadn't figured out whose side he was on.

Later on, during my walk outside, Ronnie raced past me. Her eyes were red, her face scratched. When I asked her what was wrong, she fled, refusing to tell me. I didn't ask Anya how she had gotten the key from Ronnie. I didn't want to know.

That night, while everyone slept, I sneaked out of my room. The stairs seemed darker than usual. As I passed Sadler's floor, I noticed a lot of extra guards and wondered what that was about.

First, I went to the right tower to see if the mirror had returned. It hadn't. And the box at the back of the room was still untouched.

I headed for the other tower. Outside the locked room, I pressed my ear to the door. I heard that same strange wheezing sound. I used the key and unlocked the door. Pushing it open, I held my breath, tamping down on the squeal that threatened to pop out of my mouth.

Deorad was strapped to the bed, his long black hair shaved on one side. Tiny pinpricks covered the bare section of his head. His face was covered in scratches, old and new. He lay there, alive, even though I had seen him die.

The room was small and warm, the air was suffocating and thick with some kind of substance I couldn't identify. A machine stood in the corner, blowing out steam. In one corner were some empty buckets with rims stained black, as if they could never be scrubbed clean.

Puzzled, I stepped around the bed. What I could see of his body was covered in marks and bruises. Someone was apparently torturing him on a regular basis.

I moved to the head of the bed. He could have been Drake laying there. On a whim, I rolled him over a little to see his back—stab wounds, all over. Any one of them could have been fatal. But what really horrified me was the scarring on his back that clearly showed he had once been the owner of a pair of wings.

Sucking in a breath, I gently let him back down. I hated that man. He had killed Drake's mother in front of a six-year-old boy, who had then grown up so full of hate that he had become incapable of true love. The man in front of me had murdered any chance of my having a relationship with the father of my child. He had turned Ronnie into a psychopath, had gathered up children as if collecting butterflies.

But I felt pity as I looked at him. The wheezing came from the machinery. He was barely breathing. I pressed my fingers to his wrist. His pulse was slow. With a start, I realised I was looking down at my child's grandfather.

"I see you found him," Sadler said.

Startled, I jumped and stepped away from Deorad. Sadler stood in the doorway, the shadows on his face making him look as mired in darkness.

"It took you long enough," he said.

I moved farther from the bed. "What... what are you doing to him?"

"Me? I don't touch him. This is what the woman wanted in exchange for bringing you here."

"Who? Ronnie?"

"The human," he said offhandedly.

I shook my head. "She thinks she's getting the baby. I thought that was the deal you made."

"Short-term and long-term prizes. She comes here and vents. Tries to give him the pain he once gave her. It won't work. She can't kill him."

"Why not?"

"Magic keeps him alive, keeps so many things alive."

I shivered, wrapping my arms around my waist. What kind of screwed-up world was I trapped in?

"You need to leave this room soon," he said. "And when you do, you're not to come back nor tell anyone else. Do you understand?"

I nodded. "She's insane. Why would you let her near your son?"

"She did me a favour," he said with a curl of his lips. "He was nothing. A nobody. Given a name when he had none. The outsider. He was less than that. Less than you. Born of a whore and no better than a—"

"She wasn't a whore," I whispered. "It wasn't her fault."

"So you say. But I hear that even you were able to think for yourself. To say no. No amount of magic could change that."

"I was prepared," I insisted. "I'd been warned about the dangers of—"

"And so was she," he snapped. "But she loved the attention, loved being the favoured one in court. You draw attention to yourself, but not like her. She thrived on it, on the looks, on the appreciation. She blossomed in front of their gazes, put on a show until we all noticed her. And I watched her slip out of my fingers."

"It's not real. It's never real. We're playthings to you people. There's never anything of substance."

"What I felt had substance! I gave up everything for her, and we both lost it all because she was lacking." He laughed. "Do you know what I wish? I hope that she is watching me from a cage in hell every single day, that she sees everything I do in her name. I hope she knows the suffering she's caused, the pain I've inflicted on everything she's created. And when your child is born, I'm going to do the same—make a new Deorad. Except this one will be my puppet. This one will speak in my voice. And I will live forever, burning the memories of what they did wrong into the fae."

I inched back. "Live forever? Is that what you're doing? Living... because of him? Keeping him alive to do what... to nourish you? You were an old man close to death when I saw you at the provings. Is this... is Deorad the reason you're the way you are now?"

"Don't pretend to understand this world." He strode into the room.

I side-stepped around the table. "You won't use my child in this way."

"The child already belongs to me. Everything will belong to me, and I will outlive them all." As he spoke, he stalked me across the room. "Don't think you'll die straight away. You don't have my blood, so you can't sustain me, but the doctor will find a use for you."

My back hit the wall, and I started moving to my left, thinking maybe I could make a dash around him. But he cut me off and stood in front of me with a hand pressed against the wall on either side of me.

"I will enjoy you before you slip away, and you will know that, even after you've lost your mind, your body will still be here, still available for use." He laughed and slipped his hands around my neck. He caressed my skin then started to squeeze. "And when the kings come to find out what happened to you, they'll see you, bound and naked and wasted away. And while the hypocrites rage, I'll stab them in their backs. I don't care a whit about the rules. The laws and traditions didn't save my marriage from the likes of Brendan. The laws of the gods themselves didn't keep him in the Fade. No, my dear, all I care about is timing, and timing is something I've always been good at."

He squeezed harder, but he didn't even see me anymore. He muttered something, and my vision started to turn black.

"My lord," Rumble said from the doorway, "it's ready for you."

Sadler blinked a couple of times, coming back into reality. He let go and shoved me away.

"It's about time," he snapped, turning on his heel to leave.

I sank against the wall, gasping for air.

"Come," Rumble said. "This is not the place for you."

"Why?" I rasped. "Because of Deorad?"

"Because it's filled with death and bad memories. It's time for you to sleep."

When I didn't move, he came over and reached down for my arm.

"Rumble," I whispered.

He tilted his head to look down at me.

"That's what I call you," I explained. "Because I don't know your name."

He helped me to my feet. "When I was a boy, someone called me Comhaill, but they died, and it was a very long time ago. You may call me whatever you wish but know that I can't save you from your fate. None of us can be saved."

He led me to the door. I looked back at Deorad, horrified to think his own father was living because of his suffering.

"Did you ever meet Deorad?" I asked as Comhaill pushed me out of the room.

"Yes," he said. "And it left its mark."

Chapter Twenty-Five

Anya covered her face with her hands. I waited for her to stop panicking, but in truth, I felt as though I might be about to succumb to a panic attack.

"This is bad," she whispered. "This is so very bad. We can't tell Drake this. Ever. He'll go insane. He'll come here, and he'll bring whatever army he has. We'll be the first to die, Cara."

I knew Drake was desperate for the chance to kill his father. He would be his own downfall. "There's magic or something keeping him alive, and none of the kings have an army large enough to guarantee a win at any battle. And the army that defends has the advantage. That's why it hasn't happened yet. The realm is too divided while they're gathering fealty and troops. We're safe." For now.

"How can Sadler leech from his own son?" Anya asked.

"He doesn't see him as a person, never mind a son. Do you know how he does it?"

She peeked through her fingers. "I've heard stories, old horror tales designed to inspire fear. I never once thought there was truth in them."

"He was away from the courts for a long time. Who knows what he was doing, what he was looking for... what he found? And the Darkside isn't like the rest of the realm. We both know that."

"Sadler lives as long as Deorad survives," Anya whispered. "And Deorad survives because of some kind of dark magic."

I sat on the bed next to her and lowered my voice. "When you escape from here, you have to tell Brendan what you know. No, tell Arlen. Let him figure out what to do with the information. If Brendan ever needs Sadler dead, then Arlen will know how to go about it. Sadler's like some kind of living zombie—Deorad, too—and if they want to beat Sadler, they need to know everything about him. That's what you have to do, Anya. Everything you learn, you have to tell to Arlen. It's important. Who knows what Sadler will do next? What if everyone here becomes his victim to make him invincible? This is bigger than anything else going on."

"But... what about you?"

"We both know I'm not going to live long enough to tell anyone, so stop making me talk about it," I snapped. "Do you know what it's like to have a death sentence hanging over your head? To have time ticking by without being able to do anything about it? Every day my baby grows is one step closer to her living and me dying. There's nothing I can do about that, but I can make my child's world safer before I go. And I need your help for that, yours and Bekind's." I gripped her hands. "Promise me, Anya. Say you'll help."

A cloudy tear ran down her cheek. "I'll do whatever it takes."

We huddled together until we were called down to court. Anya remained very quiet, but I knew she had listened to me and finally understood. Bekind, on the other hand, had vanished again.

Glic had been allowed to return to court. He approached the throne. "My wife hasn't returned."

I raised my eyebrows, and he walked away immediately. He sat with the others, but he glared at me for a long time.

An uproar by the doors interrupted the proceedings. I strained to see what was happening through the crowd of so-called lesser fae that streamed into the great hall.

"What is this?" Sadler demanded. There was a tone of apprehension in his voice, and I wondered what he was afraid of?

The head gardener burst through the crowd, holding a sack. His face was red with excitement rather than exertion. "We found one!"

"What?" Sadler leaned forward in his throne. "What did you find?"

But the gardener was looking at me. He raised the sack. "We searched and searched the trails you took. And finally, finally, we found one." He opened the sack and held it out to me.

Inside was a plant, roots and all, and at the very top of one stalk was a single white flower in bloom. I inhaled deeply. Brighid's flower. A spark of hope flickered in my chest.

The court went into an uproar, everyone talking at once.

"Quiet!" Sadler roared. "What is this?"

"Brighid's flower," the gardener said, looking fearful and confused by all the fuss.

"And did I give orders to find this?"

The gardener hesitated. "I thought—"

"I did," I said quickly. "He asked me if there was anything I would like to see in the garden, and I said this. I saw them, and I wanted one here."

"You gave a command?" Sadler glared at me, his jaw clenched. "Take it then."

I took the sack and set it on my lap. I brushed my fingertips over the petals. The scent rose in the air.

"Enough of this." Sadler grabbed the flower's stem.

The bloom wilted before my eyes, each petal decaying until it was black and withered. Sadler clasped the flower in his fist. As he squeezed, black liquid seeped between his fingers. Nobody moved. Nobody said a word. He pushed the sack off my lap and onto the floor, stood, and left the room without another word.

"Uh, we break," I said, looking to Vix for confirmation.

She shrugged, appearing as unsettled as I felt.

"We can plant it still." The gardener knelt to gather up the plant. "It was just the bloom that died. Perhaps if we plant, it will take root. You may see it bloom again."

"Just don't bring it to court," I said.

"Would you like to pick a place to plant it?" he asked.

"Okay," I replied, eager to get back outside.

Anya and I followed the gardener outside, aware that half the court were traipsing behind us. I had to watch myself.

Rows upon rows of vegetables had been planted since I'd last seen the gardens. I hoped fervently that they would grow, but even I could see the seedlings had weakened in the tainted soil.

I led my entourage to a spot I could see from my window. An old tree, withered and bent, reached to the ground as if trying to embrace something. Maybe the flowers would be a nice addition.

When I pointed it out, the gardener looked concerned. "It might not grow so close to the tree."

"But the tree will shelter it." I thought of the Guardian's tree, how the flower's roots had twisted around it as if in embracing the trunk.

"Overmuch," he said, but he shook his head when he saw my hopeful expression. "But we can try."

He let me help him plant Brighid's flower into the Dark Court's soil. The stick I was hiding in my pocket pulsed again. Maybe the flowers would do some good, take some of the toxicity away. Some of the crowd dispersed, but a few came closer as if desperate to see what would happen to the flower in that foul earth.

"The soil is so black here," I commented.

"It's the taint." The gardener helped me to my feet. "We can't overcome it. It spreads and leaves damage in its wake. There used to be gardens here. All destroyed. We keep trying, keep hoping that, someday, something will stick."

"What would happen if the taint spread to the Great Forest?"

He wiped his face with his sleeve. "The realm would be lost. The trees would die, the forest tribes along with them. The animals and the fruits that grow there naturally, all would be lost. The courts would survive for a time, but eventually, the taint would kill everything."

"Do you think it could really happen?"

"It already is," he said. "We used to say it was our punishment, but for what?"

"How long will it take?"

"Hopefully, a very long time. But until then, everything will grow warped and diseased."

"Like the children."

His black eyes were filled with sadness. "Exactly like the children. But I hear they make good soldiers. All children must grow up one day." He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone. My bitter thoughts are mine alone."

He walked away before I could question him any further. Stepping through the crowd of waiting faeries, I tripped on a rock and almost fell, but a number of hands reached out to catch me. Surprised, I thanked them.

Anya slipped her hand in mine and led me away from the murmuring faeries. "What did the gardener mean?"

"I think I'm beginning to understand," I said. "The longer the Dark Court is tainted, the better an army Sadler will have. Those children, all condemned to live where the taint is the strongest... that can't be coincidental. And what about Deorad's children? There were so many of them, but they were all young. Drake's not a child, so there have to be others like him, grown-up children of Deorad's. What happened to them?"

People assumed Deorad was an unbalanced, sadistic freak of nature, but what if he had been trying to create an army for the father who couldn't love him?

Later, on the way to dinner, Anya frowned and asked, "Have you seen Ronnie today? I saw her earlier in the kitchen, crying her eyes out, but I haven't seen her since."

"She's probably sulking because she's not allowed to torture Deorad anymore."

A strong hand gripped my shoulder. I turned with fright. Anya bared her sharp teeth in warning.

"Quiet, pixie." Vix stared at me, her black eyes hard and cruel. "What did you just say?"

"You obviously heard me," I said haughtily. "Now get your hand off me."

She squeezed my shoulder, her fingers digging into my flesh. "I heard you mention Deorad. What were you talking about?"

I glanced at Anya, who shrugged.

"You know Deorad is alive," I said accusingly.

A quiver of emotion flashed across Vix's face. "I... what about him? What were you saying?"

"I said Ronnie is probably sulking. I bet she's no longer allowed to torture him after losing the key and letting me see what was really going on around here. That was her deal to help you, right? Every night alone with Deorad when he can't defend himself. And Sadler lets her because he knows she can't possibly kill him. That's it, isn't it?"

If possible, her face paled even further. She swallowed hard, a thousand emotions running across her face. "I..." She spun on her heel and hurried away.

"What was that about?" Anya asked. "Did you see her face?"

"Yes." And I felt as though the pit of my stomach might fall out. "I saw her."

Sadler didn't turn make an appearance at dinner. Neither did Vix or Ronnie.

That night when I began to doze off, I awoke with a start, thinking I heard a scream. I waited, but nothing else happened, so I closed my eyes again. But every inch of me trembled until I fell asleep.

***

A roar of rage made me sit up in the dark.

Anya jumped, too. "What on earth was that?"

"I don't know," I whispered, but my heart was thumping hard.

A crashing sound came from downstairs, followed by another inhuman shout. We got out of bed, hearing footsteps, crying, yelling, and the sounds of things breaking.

The door burst open. Anya screamed with fright, but it was just Bart, his usual smirk missing.

"Quickly," he whispered, holding out a key. "Lock yourselves in. Open the door for no one until morning."

"What is it?" I asked.

"The king." He shook his head. "He thinks... no matter. Do as I told you. Hurry!" He walked away.

With shaking hands, I locked the door. I sat on the bed with one arm around Anya's shoulders as somebody began screaming as if in great pain.

"Should I find out what's happening?" I whispered, squeezing Anya every time another cry came.

"No!"

We sat there, waiting for it to be over, but the sounds only worsened. I flinched with every loud noise, trembled as the cries increased. Then something hit the door, but the frame was so sturdy that it didn't even shake—unlike me.

Anya wept as somebody banged on the door, shouting incoherent words. I watched the door, praying it would hold. Eventually, whoever it was grew bored and moved on. It had to have been Sadler, but it had sounded more like a giant on a rampage.

Suddenly, a loud crack echoed in the hall, followed by an unearthly scream, then silence. Just silence. Somehow, that was worse. Anya and I held on to each other, waiting for something else to happen. Nothing did.

After an hour or two, Anya dozed off. I couldn't sleep. My heart was too tight in my chest. I tried to rest, but my mind kept racing. There were so many secrets there, and I had only begun to scratch the surface.

Bekind mewled outside the door and scratched at the wood. I hurried over and let her in. Once she was inside, I locked the door again.

"Where have you been?" I asked her.

She transformed and answered, "Listening. Did you take something from that room?"

"Why?"

"Sadler is looking for something. He thinks the other woman, Ronnie, took it. But he flew into a rage so easily that I think something else happened first. He was in that room, tearing it apart, pulling out his own hair in his rage."

"Who got hurt?"

She shrugged and moved to the window. "If you have something to hide, we need to do it now. He'll search this room soon. Mark my words."

"What is he looking for?"

"I have no idea, but it must be important. It has something to do with Ronnie or..." She frowned. "You know, don't you?"

"Well, maybe, but I don't really know what it is." I reached under the mattress and took out the stick.

Bekind grabbed it and turned it over in her hands. "Magic I've never felt before. What is this?"

I remembered something. Ronnie had once told me that the fae liked to hide their weaknesses in plain sight, usually surrounded by far more extravagant items. I hadn't paid much attention at the time, but she had to have been on the right track because I already knew that the stick reacted around the taint. And what if the taint itself was the source of Sadler's power? What if that was why he never left his castle, why he kept his subjects in the darkness of a barren land?

I took the stick back. "Watch this." I squeezed it. Black liquid seeped from my hand and was absorbed by the stick.

"It cleans the taint," she whispered. "Cara, this is important. We have to hide it until we find out more."

"What tree is this wood from? Do you think it's the wood or some kind of magic that does it?"

"Let's hope it's a tree. If a tree can soak up the taint from the earth, we can stop the Darkside from spreading." She sounded excited. "It could change everything."

"Where can we hide it?" I asked.

She thought for a moment. "With Dubh when he returns. Until then, I'll keep moving it to different places."

"When you and Anya find a way out of here, give the stick to Brendan. Not Drake. Brendan. Deorad is alive. Drake won't think clearly. Brendan's the one who needs the information. I don't care what he does with it, but somebody with power has to know."

"You went into the locked room. Tell me what happened."

"Deorad was there, alive but not. And Sadler had been allowing Ronnie to torture him every night. I think Sadler looks younger because he's somehow using Deorad's life force. I don't know the details, but he practically admitted as much. I bet it has something to do with that doctor. Nobody knows who he is, but everyone hates him. This is a court of misfits, but the doctor is still an outcast." Just like Bart.

"If Deorad was supporting Sadler, then why would the king allow his son to be harmed?"

I blew out a breath. "Because Sadler already knew that Deorad couldn't be killed in ordinary ways. Ronnie could torture him all she liked, but he would heal because he's protected by some kind of magic. He's covered in scars. His wings are gone. He's barely breathing, but he keeps holding on. And Sadler's not an old man on his deathbed anymore."

She gazed at the wooden stick. "This makes no sense."

"If Sadler is looking for this, then it must be important. We have to keep it away from him. Maybe it's the thing keeping Deorad alive or something."

"I'll hide it now. Most of the guards are with Sadler. Many of the court slipped away tonight, and the rest are asleep."

"Slipped away? As in left?"

"The court grows smaller still. I'll go now. Lock up after me." She hesitated at the doorway. "Sadler was a good man. He once had a heart, but it was stolen from him so easily that I worry for someone with as much heart as you. Don't end up like him, no matter how much we try to ruin you."

After she left, I locked the door after her and rushed to the window. If she had been a cat, I would never have spotted her in the shadows. But in the lilac gleam of the moon, her hair shone. She looked like some kind of angel as she ran to the stables.

That night, I slept through dark dreams and awoke as confused and unsure as ever. But we were definitely on the cusp of something.

In the morning, we were awakened by someone kicking the door. I nodded at Anya, and she opened it.

Sadler stood in the hall, his face contorted. He was surrounded by soldiers. "Get out," he said. "Into the hall."

I obeyed without a word. Vix was in the hallway, the lower half of her face badly bruised.

"Are you okay?" I asked automatically.

She looked away and refused to speak. There I was again, on the brink of discovery. I felt myself growing closer to whatever it was I needed to know. It was just out of my reach, but I felt it waiting for me.

Sadler tore the room apart. He destroyed my clothes, even throwing some out of the window.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice.

"Find the woman," he snapped to his soldiers. "Make sure she's alive because I'm going to kill her myself." He strode out and down the stairs without looking at me.

Anya clung to me. Our time was running out.

Chapter Twenty-Six

The court was a collective bag of nerves for the following fortnight. The fae kept their heads down to keep from drawing attention to themselves. Sadler was in a filthy temper. He fidgeted constantly with the patch over his eye, threw me hateful looks, and punished anyone he felt like hurting. And I hadn't seen Bekind or Ronnie at all.

After a walk in the gardens with Anya to check on Brighid's flower, I caught sight of Bart limping down the hallway. I called his name, and he waited for me, but he didn't look pleased.

"I never got a chance to thank you for warning us."

He frowned. "You thank the fae too much."

I stared hard at him. Something about him was different, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Was there something else you wanted?" he asked.

I took a step back at the coldness in his tone. "Um, have you seen Ronnie?"

"What do you want with her?"

I folded my arms. "She's human. Just like me. She was my lecturer in college. She's here because of me. I'm responsible for her."

"You're responsible for a mad old woman with a thirst for blood?" he scoffed. "And now I've officially heard everything."

"What the hell is up your arse?"

He squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them, I knew what it was.

"Your eyes are a different colour," I blurted. The white had become sky blue.

"You want to hear my problem, my lady? My problem is troublesome little girls rummaging around in what's no business of theirs and then not even bothering to finish the job."

I stared at him for a moment, trying to translate. I shook my head. "Nope, sorry. No idea what you're trying to say."

He grabbed my arm. "If you're going to do it, do it before the entire court deserts him or dies at his hands."

"Do what?" I whispered.

He smiled, but it wasn't pleasant. "Why don't you ask Vix? It's her story more than mine."

I jerked my arm away and backed up a step. "Don't bother speaking in riddles. It's a waste of your breath and my time. If you have something to tell me, then spit it out."

He stared at me for too long. "No, I haven't seen Ronnie lately. Nor any black cats, either."

I inhaled sharply as he turned and walked away, a little straighter than before, no limp visible. There was that reminder again. Nothing was as it seemed.

"Keep away from him," Anya advised under her breath.

I linked arms with her. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"To find Vix."

As it turned out, I didn't see Vix until Sadler called for court to begin again. I watched her closely. She furrowed her brow and jerked her head toward Sadler. When she frowned, her compressed lips made little half-smiley faces form on either side of her mouth. I looked at Sadler to see him frowning at me, too. I froze when I realised he had those exact same half-smiley faces.

I swallowed my suspicions and faced front. I had a lot of information whirling around in my head. I just needed to bring it all together.

"I feel an ailment coming on. Send for the doctor!" Sadler shouted.

Half the court flinched as one.

Vix stepped closer to him and whispered, "Don't you think—"

"No," he snapped. "I don't let you think for me, Vix." He gestured at her and told the nearest soldier, "Take her to the dungeon."

"What?" I said at the same time as Vix said, "No, please."

Sadler ignored me and told Vix, "I smell the treachery on you. Did you help her escape? Did you feel like the hero?"

She held up her hands in protest. "I helped no one. I haven't done anything. Please."

"Reynard! Get Reynard in here. Remove that creature before I change my mind and strike her down."

Vix didn't struggle as she was taken away. Reynard smirked when he returned. Changes were coming too quickly, and Sadler was growing more unpredictable by the day. I had to do something.

When Sadler declared a break from court, I snuck into the kitchen with Anya.

"Can you get me into the dungeons?" I asked the cook.

"Dungeons?" The cook shook her head. "What would you be wanting down there?"

"I need to speak to Vix."

She sighed heavily. "She got herself sent down there? No sense, that one. Never had." She quickly moved around the room, grabbing food and stuffing it into a bag. "You'll take her a package for me. I'll have a maid show you where to go."

"You're helping her?"

"I'm fond of her." She looked me in the eye as she handed me the bag. "I used to take care of her."

A maid escorted us to the dungeon. It wasn't like the place Dymphna had been held, wasn't like anything I had ever seen. It was dank and miserable, and the taint was strong.

I spotted Vix lying on the floor in one of the cells. "Vix, are you okay?"

She looked up at me. "Why are you here?"

"Cook sent food."

Vix snorted and sat up. "She would."

"Are you all right?" I asked, slipping the bag through the bars.

She leaned forward and took the bag. "It's not my first time. I'll be fine. I know what to expect."

"You're... are you Deorad's daughter?" I asked.

"I suppose." She shrugged. "Not that any of us have a claim or even true names. They say it makes us lacking."

"Is this what happens to his children? They grow up and become a part of his army?"

"Or his kitchen or his gardens. They grow up in darkness, and here they remain. How we end up depends on our mothers. Some of us are more important than others. All are hopeless. All are unnamed." She smiled wryly. "Some of us remember the names our mothers gave us. And the rest of us give each other names. Childish games to make us all feel better."

"Why were you sent down here?"

"He thinks that I helped the other human, that I gave her the means to destroy Deorad. But I didn't. I should have, but I didn't. I wanted to kill her to honour him, but someone must have beaten me to it. Unless you helped her."

"I haven't seen her. You're... Drake's sister. Half sister."

"It means nothing to him. Less to me. I care not for blood or family."

"You have royal blood. Even the cook in the kitchen has royal blood. So why don't they do something about it?"

"Who wants to be known as Deorad's offspring?" she scoffed.

"And yet you wanted to honour him," Anya whispered.

Vix looked at the pixie for the first time. "Honour is a funny thing. I found I didn't have a taste for the idea of him being tortured every evening as he lay defenceless. He should be dead. He will be dead. And if he dies... who knows what will happen next?"

"What will happen to you?" I asked.

"I'll wait here. Someday, Sadler will need me again and call me back to the surface. Until then, I wait in my own little hell."

"I'm so sorry for you," I said.

"Sorry?" She laughed. "There's no such word in the Dark Court. Chaos is for winners, after all. And you should leave before you get caught."

I nodded. "I'll try to come back."

"Don't," she whispered, turning her back on me.

Anya grabbed my hand and rushed me away from the cells and back toward the light. At the entrance, we ran right into the chest of a soldier dressed in black.

"I was just... I stole food from the kitchen to give to Vix," I blurted.

"You did no such thing," the soldier said.

"Rumble, I mean, Comhaill. What are you doing here?"

"Came to check on an old friend."

I stared up at his helmet. "Old friend or sister?"

He moved to go past me. "We don't think in those terms. Not down here. Wouldn't be much point."

I grabbed his arm. "Wait! I think in those terms, and those terms would make you and Vix my baby's aunt and uncle. So when I'm gone, try to remember that."

He hesitated before brushing me off and walking away.

"What are you doing?" Anya protested. "They'll turn on you. You don't want your child near those people."

"They might be all she has if everything goes wrong." My breath hitched. "I need to be able to tell myself that I did everything I could."

***

A few days later, court was disturbed again.

"The horse!" somebody shouted. "The horse has returned."

I was on my feet quicker than Sadler and outside before even Reynard. Dubh raced through the gates, sweating and without a rider.

I moved toward him. He settled under my touch, but he was panting hard. He had been through something.

"Anya," I called, "make sure they look after him properly." I was too focused on the bundles strapped to him—plants, dug straight from the earth.

"What is this?" Sadler asked from behind me.

"I sent Fiadh to the Miacha. Where's the head gardener? She sent us herbs, things we can use in medicines." I plucked a piece of paper from between the bundles. "There's a note."

Sadler whipped the page out of my hands.

"What does she say of me?" Glic asked. "Of the boy?"

"Nothing," Sadler said. "It's not a letter. It's just a list of names for the plants." He frowned at me. "Medicines for what?"

"Some for pain, I know that much," I said. "We'll have to plant them, but if they grow, we'll have everything we need here."

"They won't grow in tainted soil," Sadler said, "not if they came from elsewhere."

"There's enough soil with them to protect them," the gardener said, sounding excited. "If we take care of them, we'll soon have some of the things we need."

"You need this," I told Sadler, confused by his lack of enthusiasm. "This will help the people of your court. A lot."

"There's not enough for an army. And that's all I care about." He dropped the page and walked away, followed by most of the court.

Some lingered. Rumble picked up the paper and handed it to me before he left, too.

"Plant them near Brighid's flower," I told the gardener. "If we keep them together, they might survive. Just make sure you don't confuse the different herbs. We don't want to mix up the leaves when we need them."

The rest of the day was spent in discussion over the Miacha and their herbs. I listened to talk of tainted soil and certainty that nothing good could come out of the Chaos Court.

And for a moment, I wondered if I could make a difference.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

In the middle of another tense day at court, Sadler abruptly stood, grabbed one of his soldiers, and flung the man to the floor. Surprised, the soldier fell down the steps of the dais.

Sadler roared with laughter. "Weakling! A cockfight! That's what's needed. A fight to the death. Whoever wins replaces this fool."

Murmurs spread around the room.

"Now!"

Everyone began to move. I sat still, unsure exactly what was happening.

"Outside," Sadler said. "Bring the thrones. I don't want my floor stained with the blood of the pathetic."

Anya slipped her hand into mine as we scurried out of the way. Some servants carried the thrones outside, struggling under the heavy weight. Anya seemed to shrink into herself as she walked. In fact, most of the faeries leaving the hall had their heads down.

Outside, we sat on the newly moved thrones as some kind of arena pit was hastily prepared. I wanted to ask what was going on, but I was pretty sure I didn't want to know.

Sadler kicked a soldier. The man didn't react at all.

Sadler huffed, his eyes roaming the trembling crowd. He pointed at a servant. "You!"

The crowd shifted away from the faery. He was the one who had come to my room on the first morning. He was slim and wiry but obviously not a fighter. He had been scared of me, after all. His hands shook noticeably as he approached Sadler.

"And where is the fool?" Sadler shouted.

The wind blew harder, and the sun disappeared behind a cloud. I shivered but not just from the chill.

The soldier Sadler had flung down the steps was pushed toward the pit by his colleagues. Another soldier picked up the servant and flung him into the pit. The smaller man curled up in a ball as he landed.

"Pathetic." But Sadler sounded excited.

I felt sick. The whole scene reminded me of the time Brendan had been tossed into a pit to fight against... I sucked in a breath. Had Sadler's champion been Deorad or someone like Rumble?

The watching faeries gathered around the pit.

"No weapons," Sadler said. "To make it fair."

"They're going to fight?" I blurted.

The soldier towered over the servant. A trained fighter against someone who cleaned out fires on a daily basis—how was that fair?

"Begin!" Sadler roared. "Only one leaves."

The servant tried to rise to his feet, but the soldier kicked him hard in the abdomen, knocking the man backward. I winced. Anya knelt at my feet, pressing her face against my leg.

Sadler chortled as the soldier attacked again, kicking the servant in the face. Then, he walloped the smaller man across the head. Bleeding, the servant attempted to crawl away.

I looked at Sadler. "This isn't fair at all."

He was too busy rocking back and forth, unable to contain his mirth to pay any attention to me. The fight went on. Bloodied and bruised, the servant leaped at the soldier, biting and scratching. My stomach turned as the soldier began punching, punching, punching without stopping.

"Stop this!" I jumped to my feet. "Stop!"

Sadler grabbed my hair and pulled me toward him. "Quiet," he said in my ear. "You're ruining it."

"I can't watch this. Please, stop them."

"You'll watch, or I'll gut you here and now."

I didn't recognise Sadler's voice. The monstrous side of him was unleashed, and we were all in the way. He gripped my cheeks and turned my face toward the pit. I was too afraid to close my eyes.

Lightning sparked in the sky. Storm clouds rolled. The air turned grey.

Tears swam in my eyes as the servant crumpled to the ground. The soldier kept punching, desperate to live, to preserve what was left of his dignity. He pummelled, covered in the smaller man's blood, and the servant stopped protecting himself.

"Already?" Sadler sniffed, still holding onto me. "Someone check."

Two soldiers climbed into the pit and restrained the fighting soldier, who struggled to keep going.

Rumble went in and knelt next to the servant. "Dead," he called out in an emotionless voice.

The fighter was still panting, his eyes wild with bloodlust.

"Pah." Sadler flung me aside.

I fell heavily to the ground. Anya crawled to my side.

"I'm surrounded by weaklings." Sadler swung out, knocking one of his soldiers off-balance. He stormed off, muttering to himself. A few soldiers followed at a distance.

Rumble carried the body away. I wanted to throw up, but I was hollow inside, as empty as everyone else. We had all watched a soldier batter a defenceless servant to death, and not one of us helped him.

Shaken, I climbed to my feet and walked unsteadily back to the castle. Rat was already in my room, sobbing. I wrapped my arms around her, wishing for comfort myself. At first, she flinched at the contact, then she clung to me and cried harder.

"He didn't do anything wrong," she cried. "He never hurt anybody."

"I know," I said. "He didn't deserve that. Nobody does." My breath hitched as I gave in to the grief. I wanted to cry for the realm, for those of us stuck in the court of chaos, for my daughter, who might grow up thinking that this life was normal. But my tears didn't fall. I had run out.

I left Rat and walked back outside, feeling the eyes of Sadler's subjects watching, judging my weakness. Sadler was losing his mind, and I had to get out of his way before he forgot that he wanted my child to be born alive.

***

The atmosphere only worsened in the Dark Court. Lughnasadh, a time for celebration and harvest, had begun, but the faeries seemed intent on drinking themselves into oblivion. Those that remained, at least. Some had left, claiming obligations elsewhere. There was no harvest in the Darkside. None at all.

The storm remained a constant, and fuelled by alcohol, fear, and Sadler's influence, faeries turned on each other at a second's notice, fighting even in the great hall. Sadler laughed like a mad man whenever blood was spilled, but mostly he brooded. Anya was a bag of nerves, anxiously waiting for the hammer to fall.

In my room, Rat cleaned out the fireplace, permanently close to tears.

"Enough!" Anya pounced on her, grabbing her hair. "I can't stand your miserable face anymore!"

I separated them before anyone got hurt, but it was clear that Sadler's mood had infiltrated the entire castle.

"Leave us for the day," I said softly to Rat, brushing her hair back under her hat. "We're all on edge."

Rat scowled at the pixie before leaving. Once she was out of earshot, Anya cried her heart out. I just hugged her until she was ready to speak. Everyone thought of the pixies as less than nothing, but she was full to the brim with heart. She had love, had even found it in a place it shouldn't have existed. She found friendship and had faith in something everyone else told her wasn't real. She had given it all up for me, and there had to be a breaking point.

"I miss him," she said when she calmed down. "I feel myself changing here. We all become the same without something to anchor us."

"You're not changing."

"I am. The funny thing is that it was Arlen who first made me change. We were both born into that life, both knew what was expected of us, but he showed me a different way. And I fell for it all. If I could do anything, it would be to take him away and live in the human realm where this darkness couldn't touch us. I feel the taint in us, Cara. I know it's there, and it's going to destroy us. The fae are so susceptible to it, so eager to dive into the madness. And we'll drag you down with us. You should be desperate to leave." She said the last part accusingly, as if I wasn't trying hard enough.

"If it wasn't for the baby, I would have nothing to go back to. I've always wanted to stay in the faery realm. I like the madness and the feeling we're about to jump off a cliff. I love the magic and how everything makes me feel. If Sadler wasn't around, I'd probably be happy in this place."

"Then I'm sorry for you. We've already destroyed you."

She pulled away and left me alone. Maybe she was right. Maybe I had become exactly the kind of person I didn't want to be. And maybe I was doing something awful to one of my greatest friends by keeping her with me. According to the faery midwife, I was thirty-six weeks pregnant. My time would come soon. My last chances were slipping away. Whatever I did, I had to make sure Anya was okay.

I went to the stables, the last place I had seen Bekind go. I went to Dubh's stall, and felt around under the saddle hanging next to him. He nudged me to the side and nosed a pile of dirty straw in the corner. Following his lead, I searched the straw until I found the piece of wood that seemed to be the key to the secrets in the Chaos court. I hid it within my clothes and went about the rest of my day as normal.

Sadler was his usual twitchy self, the rest of the court was still on edge, but I remained dead calm. I would soon take my chance.

***

I hadn't slept. I couldn't. My blood burned in my veins, my head filled with thoughts that ran unchecked. One of my most loyal friends was finding it hard to look me in the eye, a piece of wood was slowly sucking the never-ending taint clean from my soul, and I had almost become resigned to the fact that my child would be born like Fiadh's—tainted on the inside.

When Anya's breathing steadied, I got up and dressed. Nothing much fit me anymore, so I wore a loose dress under my cloak, the wooden stick hidden in one of my sleeves.

That day, Sadler had sent a good portion of his soldiers to hunt down a pureblood who had apparently made treasonous accusations against his king. I was pretty sure it was just another excuse to spill blood, a distraction from his withdrawal symptoms, perhaps. Of the soldiers who remained, most lounged in a drunken stupor as the Lughnasadh celebrations hit their peak.

As I passed Sadler's hallway, I noticed only two guards were stationed outside his room. I moved on quickly. I took one last look at the treasure room. The mirror was still gone.

I headed to Deorad's tower, never hesitating despite an awful pressure building between my legs. I had felt the same thing for weeks, and the midwife kept telling me it was the baby moving into position, preparing for birth. She said it was normal, but it felt as though the child was about to fall out of me at any second.

The machinery in Deorad's room wheezed. He lay in the same position as before, his eyes closed, his chest moving ever so slightly. I looked at him and saw what my child's future might have been. He had never had a chance. Few in the faery realm ever had a real chance.

I touched his face, seeing Drake in the angles. I might never see Drake again. It was probably better if I didn't. Nothing was worse for my confidence than that faery.

And Brendan... the man who tried to be better, the one ashamed by the crimes he had committed. But was that ever enough? Did anyone deserve another chance to right their wrongs? I had obviously thought so when I travelled across the realm to save him. I had brought him back to see if he could do better, but I would never know. If I stayed, I would die. If I managed to flee, I could never return, no matter how much pain it would cause me. All I could do was love my baby. That was the one gift I could give her.

The baby kicked, and a burst of pure love ran through me. Somehow, she was making me a better person, making me care about the impact I had on the world around me. I wasn't scared to love her, and I indulged in the feeling for once. I could feel the child in there, feel her innocence touch my heart, embrace my soul. Another kick came, so painful that I gripped Deorad's hand. As another pulse of love and pain ran through me, Deorad's fingers twitched.

Horrified, I saw his eyes flutter open. Had I done that? Had... my baby? Deorad's violet eyes were full of pain, full of an agony I hoped I would never comprehend.

"Kill me," he whispered.

I leapt away from him, and his eyes closed as if they had never been open.

"What are you doing?" Bekind asked, terrifying me.

"Jesus," I hissed.

She moved around the table and grabbed my shoulder. "Why are you here?"

"I have to do something," I whispered, feeling the stick pulse in my sleeve. "I can't just give up."

"I thought you already had." She smiled. "What do you plan?"

"I'm going home with my baby. I'm not leaving her here."

"I told you not to return here," Sadler said from the doorway. His voice was somehow hollow, empty and desolate. He gave Bekind a hard look. "One good deed, eh?"

"I'm sorry," she said. "I wish things were different."

"I helped you," he said. "And this is what I earn in return."

"I haven't done anything to you," she said. "I would never intentionally hurt you."

"And yet here you stand," he replied. "Poised to destroy me."

"Not I. And blood loyalties run far deeper than other debts. You were a decent man once. It doesn't have to be this way."

"I'm not even a man anymore," he said with a laugh. He looked at me. "And you, my lovely wife, do you think you can kill him? Think you can hurt me? Try. I dare you to try."

"I'll do anything for my child," I said. "And I don't care who I hurt."

"You can't do a thing," he scoffed. "And won't the son be angry that he couldn't claim the vengeance he so badly needed to move on? Are you really going to disappoint the Silver king?"

"He'll never move on," I said, knowing it was true. "This is the greatest gift I could ever give him."

"And what happens then?" He stepped farther into the room. "Do you think this will end in a fairy tale? That true love will win the day?"

My heart hardened a little more. "I don't believe in true love."

"By the time I'm finished with you two, you won't be aware enough to believe in your own names." He reached out and grabbed Bekind's hair. He pulled her to him and wrapped his other hand around her neck.

I whipped the stick out of my sleeve and thrust it into Deorad's chest.

Sadler's eyes widened. "No!"

Taking her chance, Bekind elbowed him and ran toward me. Black smoke and liquid tar seeped from Deorad's skin. His eyes were black, his mouth, ears, nose, even fingertips. Whatever had been keeping him alive was dying.

Sadler sank to his knees. "No, no, no..."

"Get Anya," I told Bekind. "Prepare Dubh. We're leaving."

She ran, leaving me alone with Drake's father and his grandfather. Drake would have wanted to be the one to kill Deorad, but I had to be the one to end it all. I seized the stick and stabbed Deorad's chest again. His body convulsed. Then, the machines stopped wheezing, and his chest stilled.

The taint ran from him as his body shrivelled into something from my nightmares. I slipped the stick back up my sleeve and moved to stand over Sadler, wondering what to do with him.

He gazed up at me, black running from the corners of his wrinkled lips. His hair had fallen out in tufts, leaving him with snow-white patches covering his shrivelling scalp. "You won't escape," he wheezed. "They'll stop you before you even get close."

"That's a chance I'm willing to take." A sharp lance of pain shot through my spine, doubling me over. The baby.

He let out a raspy laugh. "You won't even make it down the stairs."

"Watch me." I turned and fled even as another sharp pain in my abdomen slowed me down.

Sadler roared obscenities after me, but his voice weakened with every word. I hoped he was dying.

As I descended the final set of stairs, I heard a shout of concern and footsteps racing upstairs. The pain had eased, so I kept going, but I was panting, my lungs working hard to keep up with the racing of my heart. I reached the front doors, pushed them open, and inhaled deeply.

A soldier stood in my way, all dressed in back. He held out a dagger, my dagger, handle first and offered it to me. "Good luck," he rumbled, and sidestepped out of my way.

I could have cried. Instead, I clutched his hand for a second and squeezed. "Thank you, Comhaill." I grabbed the dagger and rushed toward the stable.

A commotion erupted in the castle. I heard a shout, followed by someone mentioning the queen. Another pain ripped through me, and I stumbled and fell to my knees, ready to weep. I was so close, but I would never make it. It was too late. I had failed.

"Just go!" I screamed as Bekind, Anya, and Dubh raced toward me.

The soldiers were already piling out of the castle, more coming from the gates. Strong hands lifted me to my feet.

"Go," Bart urged. "I'll help you mount."

"The baby's coming," I managed to say as Dubh reached me.

"You have time," he said.

Dubh bowed, lowering the front of his body. With Bart and Anya's help, I managed to get onto the horse. There was no saddle, but I preferred it that way. Anya mounted behind me.

Bart slapped Dubh's rear. "Go!"

Dubh raced toward the oncoming gate soldiers, threatening to run them down. At the last second, they swerved out of his way, but he still kicked out with his back legs, knocking over some of them.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw some soldiers gathering around Bart. One swung a sword, and I faced front, unable to watch. Dubh burst through the gates and went into a full gallop, followed by some soldiers on foot. Soon, others would mount up and follow, but they would never catch Dubh. Still, half of Sadler's army was already outside. Any one of his units could come across us. All I had was my dagger and the weird stick. I groaned as another pain shot through me.

"What's wrong?" Anya whispered as Dubh trotted into the woods surrounding the castle. Bekind ran alongside us.

"I think the baby's coming."

"It's too early! We won't make it to Brendan in time."

"I know. Dubh, Bekind! Take me to the Miacha. The baby's coming!"

"A woman's first labour is usually her longest," Anya said. "And even if we don't quite make it to the Miacha, I can help you."

"Four weeks early," I said with a gasp. "It's too soon."

The horse's movement seemed to make the labour pains worse. I prayed it wasn't the real thing, that panic was causing it, but deep down, I knew. My body was ready to let my baby go. I wasn't.

"You've been pregnant for over a year," Anya said. "You were pregnant in the human realm. That could... help. You've been growing so quickly, and you're healthy and strong. This baby will be, too. It won't be for nothing."

I cried as we rode, partly because of the pain, but mostly from fear. My baby wasn't going to make it. I had screwed up everything, and I couldn't stop or I would get us all killed. I was the worst mother of all time.

Every now and then, I caught a glimpse of Bekind jumping from one tree to another. It had taken days to get to the Hollows from the Miacha. We had been going slowly then, and we hadn't known the quickest route, but still... days. My baby was probably going to be born in a great big germy faery forest.

"Please be around here somewhere," Anya whispered.

"What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"The bridge," she said. "The River Garbh. It has to be near."

"It can't be," I said. "We're not that close."

"It's the quickest way," she murmured as if to herself. "Once we get across that bridge, we'll be okay. I know we will."

I laughed, and another pain stabbed me. "Last time I crossed that bridge, I got hit by an arrow and fell into the desert."

"Not this time," she said firmly. "Sadler's army aren't looking for a traitor, Cara. At least not all of them. Brendan's had patrols coming through here, waiting for us. If anyone follows, Brendan's men will stop them. I swear it."

A huge sense of relief rushed through me. The pains had slowed, despite the roughness of the journey.

"Hold on, baby," I whispered. "Keep holding on. Just for a little while."

"We can do this," Anya said. "We can."

The pain lessened, but the pressure was building. Ahead, Bekind yowled a warning, and Dubh abruptly turned and took a different route. I clutched the reins a little tighter. It helped whenever the pain came to have something to hold on to.

We rode through the night, and the lilac moon was starting to give way to the sun's morning light when I heard the River Garbh crashing like a crazy water-monster. As we approached the bridge, the sound of galloping horses came from behind us.

I whimpered. "How did they catch up?"

"They didn't," Anya said. "They were lying in wait here and at the Hollows, in case you escaped. Sadler's not stupid, Cara. He wasn't going to leave his bases uncovered."

I nodded, sucking in a panicked breath. Across the cliff were more soldiers.

"Dubh," I whispered, "run!"

"No!" Anya yelled. "They're here for us. Those are Brendan's men! We need to get across."

A familiar voice called out Anya's name—Arlen.

"We're okay," Anya shouted over the roaring river.

The water slammed against the rocks even more angrily. Dubh began to cross the bridge, but it was slippery, and we were heavy.

"The baby's on the way," Anya called to Arlen. "And we're being followed. We need the Miacha."

"Then run!" Arlen shouted as we made it to land. "Run and don't look back."

He ran his hand across her cheek as we passed him. I felt her shiver behind me. He hadn't looked my way once.

"We'll follow you when we can," he called after us. "Now get out of here!"

Arlen's group crowded around the bridge, ready to attack any that dared cross. Minutes later, I heard shouts and swords clashing, but Dubh had already galloped out of their reach.

"Come on," Anya whispered. "Please."

We rode for hours, avoiding the main paths. I dozed between contractions that had grown steadier and closer together all night. Bekind rode in front of me, the hair on her back constantly bristling.

When the next contraction came, I breathed through my nose, my back arching as the pain worsened. I felt as if I were being ripped in half.

"We won't make it," Anya said. "Bekind, you need to reach the Miacha and bring them to us. Can you do that?"

The cat was gone before Anya could finish the question. I prayed, for the baby's sake, that Bekind returned with the Miacha before it was too late. The sun was high, and sweat ran down my back. The urge to push grew in me.

"Anya," I panted, "I have to stop. It's happening."

"No," she cried. "Don't let it. We're not close enough yet."

"I can't." I clenched my teeth as my body spasmed. "I can't stop it." I was out of control, lost to nature.

"Dubh, stop," Anya pleaded.

Dubh slowed and came to a stop in a clearing. He knelt really low, and Anya dismounted then helped me down. Anya held my hand as my body convulsed again. I groaned through clenched teeth.

When it passed, Anya found a flat spot for me to lie down. "Do you want to kneel or—"

"No." I gasped. "I have to lie down. I have to push now, Anya."

She helped me over to the spot, and I lay on my back.

She lifted my skirt and pushed my knees up. "I'm so sorry, Cara. We have to do this here. I'm so sorry for this."

I held my breath as another contraction forced me to push. I gave up before my body did, so exhausted that I couldn't push any more. I was terrified. The entire pregnancy had been full of fear, but I hadn't actually imagined what giving birth would be like. With the time at hand, it was the scariest experience in my entire life.

"No," Anya said. "Don't give up. We're here. We have to go through with this. You're going to do exactly what I tell you, and we're going to deliver this baby." She stared into my eyes. "Are you with me?"

I nodded, sweat pouring from my brow. Then I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for the next rip of pain to come.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I wanted to scream. I wanted to unleash the scariest, most horrible sound the faery realm had ever heard. But with each push, I ground my teeth together and let my body do what it was supposed to do. I pushed down against the pain, imagining I would push it farther and farther away.

Between contractions, I stared up at the branches that swayed in the breeze. They sheltered us, protected us from sight, and one day, they might all be swallowed up by the taint. Sadler's army was hunting us, and the only place we could hide was probably in the human realm because the Darksiders couldn't afford to separate their forces. Travelling to the faery realm for help had sealed my fate and made me a pawn between kingdoms.

"This is good." Anya sounded confident. "We can do this." She held my leg and pressed it toward my chest. "Just hold it for longer next time. As long as you can, okay? Wait for the push, then keep it going. Trust me."

I nodded, blowing my fringe off my face. The pain wasn't so bad once I could actually do something about it. And maybe having a baby in the middle of a forest while a faery horse paced around us wasn't the worst thing that could happen. At least the soil wasn't tainted there. I dug my fingers into the earth, neutral territory, and sent out a mental prayer to a goddess I wasn't sure existed.

One more push. One more clenched groan and the feeling I wasn't even in my body anymore. I sank back, weakened.

"I can see the head." Anya sounded excited. "Everything is okay. We're going to be okay." That had become her mantra.

Seconds passed. I almost dozed off again. Then Dubh whinnied loudly, and the sound of someone coming through the forest made all three of us look around worriedly.

Bekind appeared at the tree line. She skidded to a stop next to me then collapsed into an exhausted ball of fur. Three little women jumped down from some tree branches and came over to us.

Blue Eyes inspected me. "Almost there."

Pink Eyes unrolled a blanket, apparently to wrap up the baby when it came.

Green Eyes put down her bundle and held my free hand. "Nearly there, my girl," she whispered. She gave me some water.

I sipped gratefully then almost knocked the water away as another pain lanced through my abdomen.

I pressed my foot against Anya's shoulder. She remained steady. I pushed as long and hard as I could, feeling a burning sensation between my legs.

"I can't do it," I whimpered as the throes faded. "I can't do this."

"Two more pushes and the baby will be free." Blue Eyes took over from Anya. "You've done well, all of you, and it won't be long now."

The next push was the hardest. My body seemed to freeze up, refusing to do its job. Tears streamed from my eyes.

"Does she need help?" Pink Eyes murmured.

"Not at all." Blue Eyes looked at me. "This time is everything, Cara. You must keep pushing. Do not stop. The baby needs to be born right now. Do you hear me?"

I held her gaze as the next contraction came. I pushed, feeling as though my body was breaking apart, but I didn't stop. The women shouted with me as if they felt my pain. The burning stopped, and a gush of blessed release came.

I lay back, confused. "Is it over?"

"It's over." Anya crawled to my side. "She's here, Cara. Your daughter is here."

I wanted to cry. How could it be over? It felt like nothing in the end. Like... I didn't even know what. "She's not crying." I tried not to freak out. "Why isn't she crying?"

"Not all babies cry." Green Eyes dabbed my face with a damp cloth. "And she's early. Small. She'll be a sleepy baby until she catches up."

"Is she okay?" My voice wobbled. I had never felt as vulnerable as I did in that moment.

"She's healthy." Blue Eyes bundled the baby up in a blanket. "More than healthy. Someone has been protecting her. Protective magic is all over her. Who did this?"

I shrugged. Maybe Brendan had when he claimed her as his heir, or maybe Drake when he whispered something to my belly, or maybe either king when they made me sleep and told me to heal. For all I knew, a goddess had watched over her.

Blue Eyes smiled at the baby. "You can hold her for a moment, but then it's back to work."

"What?"

"The afterbirth." She passed the bundle to Anya. "The baby is safe, but you are not. We'll need to get you home and take care of you. The journey isn't over yet, I'm afraid."

I wasn't listening. I was too busy staring at the pink-stained bundle in Anya's arms. Her eyes glistened with tears as she handed me my baby.

I inhaled sharply. She fit perfectly into my arms. The women fell silent as they felt what I felt. I couldn't contain my emotions any more than I could feel anything but awe for what I had just created.

"Hold her against your chest," Green Eyes whispered. She patted my cheek. "Lughnasadh is almost over. The time when we reap what we sow."

I clutched the bundle to me, shocked by the feelings flooding me. My daughter was pink and shrivelled looking, smaller than I expected. Black hair was plastered to her head. A patch of silver in her hair on the left side of her head caught my eye. I touched it hesitantly.

"A rabbit's paw," Anya whispered. "The best of luck."

Look at her," I said. "I made her."

My baby's eyes were squeezed shut, and her fingers clutched the sheet. I couldn't get over the fact she had been inside me, had survived against all odds. I couldn't believe I had a daughter, that I was a mother. Me, a person so undeserving of love.

Her eyes fluttered open—violet-blue. She blinked a couple of times as if trying to focus. I knew she couldn't see me, but I didn't care.

"Hi." I kissed her knuckles. "I've been waiting to meet you."

"Let the pixie hold her for a few minutes," Blue Eyes said. "It's time to finish up here."

As I handed my baby to Anya, I thought I caught a glimpse of green shimmers under her skin. I bit down on the emotions that invoked.

I kept my eyes on the bundle in Anya's arms while I delivered the placenta. I expected the same pain, but it was nothing compared to what my body had just been through. I barely paid attention as the women hurriedly pressed padding between my legs to soak up the blood. A hospital couldn't have treated me more quickly.

A mewling sound came from the baby. The sound of it made my entire body tingle.

"We'll strap the baby to her," Pink Eyes said. "They'll be here soon."

"Who will be here?" Anya demanded, looking fierce.

"She can't ride a horse to our home," Blue Eyes said matter-of-factly. "Your horse will help our donkey pull her along in a little cart. It won't be comfortable, but it's the best we can do right now. We need to bathe mother and daughter and encourage the baby to feed. She's too sleepy right now. These first few days are important, pixie. Do not get in our way."

"Anya," I said, "let them do what they have to."

She nodded, but she looked deflated when she had to hand the baby over. Green Eyes carefully strapped my daughter to my chest, then they shrouded us with a blanket. I stared at the baby for so long that I didn't notice the cart arriving. I didn't bat an eyelid when I had to travel on the uncomfortable cart. I couldn't stop shaking, but a strange kind of contentment and satisfaction filled me. I had won. I had escaped. My child and I both lived. And the mirror... I wouldn't think about that yet.

The Miacha fed me leaves for the pain and infection. They kept up a constant chatter during the ride. We weren't as far from the Miacha's home as I had assumed, but I didn't care. I was in a dream, holding a perfect little baby who fit against me as if we had been moulded that way. The warmth of her, the feeling of her skin against mine... my heart overflowed with love for her. I had loved her when she was in the womb, but the new feeling was... indescribable. I had worried we wouldn't bond, wouldn't connect, but I had never felt love before I laid eyes on her. I wanted to protect her always.

I stroked her hair, amused by the patch of silver, and whispered to her as if she could understand the words.

Anya walked next to the cart, smiling fondly at us. "What are you going to call her?"

I looked at the pursed red lips of my daughter and grinned. "I think I'm going to call her Scarlet." And then I whispered three words into my child's ear. Her true name. The name I would never tell another soul.

***

I didn't remember much about arriving at the Miachas' home. It was all a haze. I half-expected to wake up in Sadler's castle at any second. I was aware of wincing when the baby was taken from me, sucking in a breath as the Miacha stitched up a small tear that had occurred during delivery, and panicking when the baby refused to take my breast.

"She won't feed," I said. "How am I going to feed her if she won't take my milk?"

"Keep trying," Green Eyes said. "That's how every woman learns, how every baby learns. She came too early. She'll need more time than others. You'll stay here until she learns. Don't worry. She's fine."

"Is Cara fine?" Anya asked, sitting beside the bed. "There was a lot of blood."

"Babies are messy work," Blue Eyes said with a laugh as she came into the room. "And Cara is young and healthy. She'll have no problem recovering. She's strong and fit, and she'll be an excellent mother." She brushed my fringe from my forehead. "And she's going to have to decide what she's going to do next. Someone will come for her eventually. We won't be able to hide forever."

"I've been thinking about that," I said. "As long as we stay here, some king or another is going to use us to get what he wants. And as long as they're warring here, the human realm is safe. Sadler's army is small. He can't divide it to look for me, not with both Drake and Brendan on his back. And I know this isn't over—there are faeries back home, too—but I need Scarlet to grow up away from the magic." I took a deep breath. "So I'm going home, back to the human realm. Scarlet is still Brendan's heir. That has to count for something, and it'll be easier for him to protect her from fae in the human realm than an army in the faery one."

"What about Sadler?" Bekind asked from her perch on the window ledge.

I gave a little shrug. "He could be dead."

"No signs of his death so far," Green Eyes said. "He's alive as far as the realm knows."

"Then he's dying," I said. "And he'll want my baby. He needs another Deorad."

"He could find someone else," Anya said.

I looked at Blue Eyes. "Can you help me get home?"

Bekind snorted. "You mean help us."

I gave her a weary look. "I can't ask you to leave this place."

"You didn't ask. I'm telling you I'm going with you." She stormed out of the room.

"I'm coming, too," Anya said. "I'll help you care for the baby and help protect her from the fae who will come."

"They'll have to find us first," I said, feeling fierce at the idea anyone wanting to harm my child. She was mine. I wouldn't let anyone hurt her. But it filled me with confidence to know that both Bekind and Anya would be there to help me, even if Brendan didn't send someone to protect Scarlet.

"We can help you home," Blue Eyes said. "But what do we tell the ones looking for you?"

"Explain what happened with Deorad and Sadler." I kissed Scarlet's forehead. "And tell them I don't need them anymore and that I said goodbye."

***

I awoke from a nap to the baby's whimpering. I lifted her from the makeshift crib and held her against my breast. She tried to latch on, but she couldn't, and I could tell she was frustrated. I felt like a failure. What did I know about nurturing a child?

"You're still the queen," Bekind said, surprising me.

"I didn't see you there." I frowned as Scarlet turned her head away from my breast. "Why can't I do this?"

"It'll come in time. She won't starve."

"What if there's no milk or—"

"Don't be ridiculous." She waved at Scarlet. "You have everything you need to take care of the child. It's hard for the first month or so, but it gets easier. She'll take from you when she's ready, then you'll never get a moment to yourself."

"You sound experienced."

"I've been where you are right now." She sighed. "You can't just walk away and pretend none of this happened."

"I killed Deorad. I'm not pretending that didn't happen."

"That's not what I meant." She avoided my eyes. "You haven't asked me about Sadler."

"I've asked you lots of questions. I never get an answer until you're ready to give one. Are you ready to tell me?"

She nodded and sat on the bed. I covered up and, on a whim, handed her the baby.

Bekind gathered Scarlet into her arms and gazed at her as if awestruck. She brushed Scarlet's hair, her eyes glistening. "The next generation. She's beautiful. I'm glad she's a girl." She returned Scarlet to me then shivered. "I want to tell you, but I hate remembering. I hate the memories."

I bit my lip. "Does it have something to do with the memory we saw in the Hauntings? The little girl and boy. And a black cat."

She nodded glumly. "Those were his memories, the boy's. Cormac was your ancestor, Donella's son."

"And you were the girl?"

"Yes. Donella felt she had a responsibility to have a child, and once Cormac was born, she decided he would rise in ranks and become someone... worthy. I was an orphan and lived on the estate. We shared a nurse, I think, and then we were playmates. Donella was never around. She had moved on from... his father and was after Sadler, always trying to raise her station in life."

"So what happened?" I asked.

"We were sent to the human realm for a time. But when Cormac grew older, she got it into her head that she had to train him to be as mercenary as she was, so she called him back. Of course, I returned with him. She didn't like the fact that we were friends or that he was fond of a kitten and could tame a horse like Dubh. She didn't like much of anything, really, not even her own son. She never showed him any motherly affection. He was sensitive. Not like her. She thought the human realm would toughen him up, but he thrived on the humanity there. We were still young when she finally separated us and sent me away, but it was too late. The damage was already done. He loved me, and fae like Donella despise love, see it as a weakness, a sign that a person is lacking. Sadler was different back then. He was supportive of us. He had a healthy respect for love. That was before... everything."

"What did he do?"

"He helped reunite us. We eloped, hid in the human realm, and had a child. So you see, you're just as much a part of me as you are of Donella."

"So you're a closer relative than Nella?"

"Do you hate that?"

"What? No! You're my family, Bekind. That's... amazing."

Her expression softened. "Cormac was a good man. Worthy of everything."

"But she found you," I said, wishing that it wasn't true.

She nodded. "Found us, tried to kill me, and got him killed instead. But as he lay dying, they argued, and she said... she said he would never find peace. If the Hauntings showed us anything, it's that her words rang true. She blamed me for everything and vowed to separate me from my child. Mad with rage, she fixated on his fondness for his childhood kitten and cursed me and a cat to be one in immortality so that I would suffer for eternity."

"Your curse is to live forever? Wait. If she had freed you, then you would be dead?"

She nodded. "I'm so tired of living. But I don't even have the promise of being reunited with him in death. I have nothing either way. I didn't know back then, not everything. And when she heard of Sadler's plans for her, she scoffed. She had spies everywhere, and although she didn't think he was capable of such cruelty, she prepared for everything and sent for me."

"To help her?"

"Yes. It was her idea, you see. She encouraged Brendan to sully Sadler's wife to punish Sadler for rejecting her and helping me and Cormac. She said I was responsible for protecting her bloodline from a distance. Then she told me she would release me from my curse if I brought one of her descendants to free her from the Fade. I knew she would need me. There was no escaping Sadler. When he put his mind to something, he accomplished it. He caught up to her and banished her. I was compelled to watch others bring up my daughter, to watch her suffer and carry on the line. For a long time, I was spiteful, wanting Donella to suffer in the Fade, but I couldn't take my life anymore. And when a light shone on you and led you to the fae, I encouraged it. I helped. I pushed you into the things I needed to happen, and I was carried along on your journey. But I regret so much. And he's lost forever. That's the worst part, knowing he's a shade."

"And now she won't lift the curse."

"I was a fool to ever believe she would. She took my child, my chance of happiness, any sense of peace I could ever earn. She'll never forgive me for stealing her son. She laid out all of these plans, and none of them worked out. She's back, but her human descendent is married to the man she planned to marry, and he's gone and become a king to boot. She must be enraged." She smiled. "I hope she chokes on it."

"I'm sorry, Bekind. I'm sorry for everything."

She smiled. "I think of you as mine, you know. You're my descendent, not hers. You look like her son, sometimes. It's probably my imagination, of course, but it makes me happy. Some days."

"Do you feel guilty about Sadler?" I asked. "That you helped me instead of him?"

She shrugged. "I'm glad I helped you. I'm just sorry Donella destroyed him as well as me. I'll never forgive her for the things she's done. Sometimes I imagine getting revenge, but I doubt it would make me feel any better. I don't think anything could scrub the stains away. But maybe we can have a fresh start."

"I won't complain if you come with me," I said. "I think I'll need the help. No matter what I do, Scarlet has faery blood in her veins. She's going to attract attention. I just hope I'm strong enough to protect her."

"We'll keep moving when we have to. We'll figure out a way to slip free. Where would you like to go first?"

I thought about it. I had run out of choices, but there was a human who had taught me about faeries as a child, one who might have more answers. "My grandparents. I haven't seen them in a long time, but I think my grandfather might understand. I'll make him understand."

"If Sadler is alive, he'll look for you. And more fae will look for the baby. Scarlet is a day old, but she has a connection to all three thrones. We can never forget that, Cara. One day, she'll have to return. And someday, she'll want to know about her heritage. Also, she might be forced to take her birth right."

"I'll do anything to protect her. And I'll make sure she understands how to stay safe. I can do this, Bekind. With your help, it'll be easy."

"You'll leave a lot behind," she said. "Are you prepared for that?"

I smiled at Scarlet, who had fallen asleep again. "I have her. I don't need much else."

Chapter Twenty-Nine

The Miacha were happy. Scarlet was healthy and growing almost abnormally fast. She was feeding from me. It took a long time to get started, and that was all I seemed to do, but we were okay. I had spent a few days recovering, and if I went home, I could always take Scarlet to a hospital.

"You could stay," Green Eyes said wistfully. "We can hide you for a long time, I think."

"It's time for me to go home," I said. "I've outstayed my welcome here, and I'll never be safe. You need to be careful. If the Darksiders find you..."

She snorted. "Those fools couldn't find their own arses. Don't worry about us. We've been hidden for a long time."

"But you helped me. Why?"

She pressed her palm against my cheek. "Some things feel right. I have bundles ready for you when you leave. I know you trust your human medicine, but your child was born in the faery realm. She will always be different. Never forget that, Cara Kelly."

"I won't." Leaving was harder than I expected, but I knew I couldn't linger much longer. "Are you sure you both want to come with me?" I asked my friends.

"Don't ask such silly questions," Anya said.

"You should go back to him," I said. "He's waiting for you."

"He's waited this long. This child needs all the protection she can get. As you told me, this is bigger than us."

"I didn't mean for you to sacrifice everything."

She cocked her head. "The realm is dying, but Brighid looked out for you. I'm not going to ignore the signs she's given us. I'm sticking with you until whatever I was born for is done."

I decided there was no talking with pixies sometimes. "Thanks for the herbs you sent to the Dark Court," I told the Miacha. "We really appreciated it. We were in bad need of help."

Pink Eyes laughed. "We, she says."

"You sound as though you'll miss it," Green Eyes said.

I thought about it. "In a way, I will. Not Sadler or any of that, but the people who lived there, just struggling to survive. They didn't ask for any of this. They're just making do."

"Perhaps we will pay them a visit someday," Pink Eyes said.

"What happened to the boy?" I asked.

"He's in pain, but he's recovering well in the Green Court," she told me. "Our sister went with them. We thought they would be safer there. The mother was very grateful to you."

"Are they going to stay there?"

"Perhaps," she said.

"And the taint?"

"It remains, but it's not choking his heart as it was. He will always suffer, but he will be as healthy as a child of the taint can be."

"And Scarlet?"

Green Eyes squeezed my hand. "That remains to be seen. If the human realm is clean of the taint, then you may never need to worry."

"She's perfect," Bekind scolded. "Why would you even entertain Cara's ridiculous questions?"

I held my daughter close, hoping I had done enough to protect her. As the Miacha gathered around to say goodbye to Scarlet, I held up the wooden stick I had used on Deorad. "Do any of you have any idea where this kind of wood comes from?"

Green Eyes gasped. She reached for the stick but pulled her hand away before touching it. "It's from the very first tree. It was lost a long time ago. Do you think it still grows?" She sounded hopeful.

"How could people lose a tree?" I asked.

"Brighid," Pink Eyes said. "They say it grew in one of Brighid's grottos, that she pulled it out of the faery realm to punish us all."

"It seems like it takes the taint away," I said. "If we found the tree, could it help the Darkside?"

"The taint of the Darkside didn't exist when the tree was worshipped," Blue Eyes said. "It might not even be from the same tree." She blew out a breath. "But it feels so pure."

I frowned and handed the stick to her. "Can you give it to Brendan? Tell him what it is and what it's for. I used it on Deorad. Whatever was keeping him alive was full of the taint. It just... leaked out of him. Maybe it'll be useful in case Sadler does the same thing again."

"You sound as though you care very much what happens in this realm," Pink Eyes said. "Are you sure you don't want to go back to one of the courts?"

I shook my head. "I care more about my baby. I want Scarlet to know normal. And I want to keep her safe from the magic for as long as I can."

"She might want to come here someday," Green Eyes said softly. "You understand that it's the fae in us that wants to be here. The fae in your blood made you want to stay in this realm."

"I'll deal with that when the day comes," I said. "And hopefully, Sadler will already be dead by then."

The Miacha exchanged glances. Blue Eyes looked pointedly at the wedding rings on my fingers.

"I know," I said. "But this is what feels right to me. Are you going to help me or not?"

***

They helped us. Despite my arguments with Anya, she came with me. I cried over having to leave Dubh behind, but he belonged in the faery realm. I regretted not saying goodbye to my other friends, but I was confident the Miacha would tell them everything they needed to know.

It took a half-day's journey to get to a path that led out of the faery realm.

"Nobody knows this place but us," Green Eyes said as she pointed toward the cave. "Be careful. I can't go with you. I would never survive the human realm."

"Thanks for everything." I swallowed the lump in my throat. It was time to go back to the real world. I stepped away from the Miacha and didn't look back.

I shivered as soon as I entered the human realm. A new day was breaking. The baby was snuggled against my chest in a carrier made from a sheet. With Anya and Bekind on either side of me, I led the way to my grandparents' house, hoping they still lived there. A lot of time had passed while I was in the Fade. I dreaded to think how much time might have slipped away while I had been in the Chaos Court.

When I knocked on the door, my grandfather answered. His hair was a little lighter, his cheeks somewhat ruddier, but he didn't look much different from when I was a child. He looked at me in confusion for a moment, his gaze sliding to the others and back to me.

"Hi." I cleared my throat. "It's me, Cara."

His mouth dropped open, and his eyes widened. The baby cried, and my grandfather's face turned red.

"I need your help," I said. "We're on the run, and we need a safe place to stay. These are my friends, and this is my daughter."

"On the run?" he asked. "On the run from whom?"

I looked him dead in the eye. "Faeries."

He gulped then stepped aside and held out his arm. "I think you should come in."

When we all stood in the hallway, he closed the door and stood there, fidgeting.

"Who was at the door?" my grandmother called from upstairs.

"It's Cara," he answered, his eyes on mine. "She's going to be staying with us for a while."

I let out a breath I hadn't realised I had been holding. I was home. Scarlet and I were home.

If you enjoyed Queen, watch out for book four, Usurper, coming Autumn 2014.

Usurper (Chaos #4)

Cara's trying adjust to life in the human realm, but the taint isn't the only thing that followed her home. She's been sensing the presence of the fae, and it's only a matter of time until they come knocking.

Three courts want different things from Cara, but trust is something she lost in the Darkside. As a new threat appears from across the water, Cara only knows one thing for sure: those with the most power... win.

For more information, check out Claire Farrell's blog or email the author.  Sign up to be notified of new releases or like the Facebook page for more regular updates.

Books by Claire Farrell:

Chaos Series:

One Night with the Fae (Free Companion Prequel)

Soul (Chaos #1)

Fade (Chaos #2)

Queen (Chaos #3)

Ava Delaney Series:

Thirst (Ava Delaney #1) – Free

Taunt (Ava Delaney #2)

Tempt (Ava Delaney #3)

Taken (Ava Delaney #4)

Taste (Ava Delaney #5)

Traitor (Ava Delaney #6)

Awakening (Ava Delaney Volume I – Books 1-3)

Uprising (Ava Delaney Volume II – Books 4-6)

Cursed Series:

Verity (Cursed #1) – Free

Clarity (Cursed #2)

Adversity (Cursed #2.5 – Free

Purity (Cursed #3)

Cursed Omnibus (Entire Cursed Series)

Stake You Series:

Stake You (Stake You #1)

Make You (Make You #2)

Short Story Collections:

Sixty Seconds

A Little Girl in my Room

Other:

Death is a Gift (A banshee novel)

Zombie Moon Rising (A Peter Brannigan Novella)

Coming 2014:

Usurper (Chaos #4)

Break You (Stake You #3)

