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You're not security?
I'm not security!
XL
I was shopping at a local big-box sporting
goods store.
I was first looking in the camping section,
and I noticed an average non-descript looking
guy in unremarkable clothing kind of watching
me paw through camping crap.
He didn't have any merchandise, or a basket
or a cart.
I figured he was probably store security.
A bit later, I was over in the bow hunting
area, trying to figure out what all of the
cool looking stuff is used for.
Same guy was there, kind of eyeballing me,
but trying to look like he wasn't.
Then again, I was over looking at ammo re-loading
stuff, and the same guy was there.
So I walked up and down a few aisles, and
the guy followed me.
Now, I was trying to figure out what I did
that made security want to follow me.
(I was in business casual, clean-cut kind
of guy.)
Finally, after about three aisles, the guy
came around the other side, and kind of blocked
me.
He started making idle chit-chat, but seemed
really nervous.
Then I noticed that he was looking at my right
hip.
I carry a concealed handgun there, tucked
under my business shirt.
But it's a full sized gun, so if I bend funny
or reach up for something, you can see the
outline of it on my shirt (it's called "printing")
In my state, open carry is legal, so printing
is not really a legal issue, but I try not
to let it happen because it does freak some
people out.
Usually only another person who carries will
notice it though.
The the guy starts to come closer to my right
side where I keep the gun, so I turn away,
and move my store handbasket to cover the
gun to prevent access.
After a short do-si-do, he finally says to
me:
"I know you're security, and I saw you following
me, so I wanted to give you a taste of your
own medicine..."
Me (laughing): "Oh!
I thought YOU were security!
-- Nope, I'm just shopping."
Guy: "I know you're security, and I'm going
to tell everyone."
Me: "OK."
So I continued looking for a bit, but didn't
end up buying anything.
The guy followed me at a short distance telling
everyone within nearby earshot: "Watch out!
He's security!"
Eventually, I dropped off my empty basket,
and headed for the store exit, passing through
the registers.
He continued to follow me, calling attention
to himself by telling the front-end people
that he knows that I'm security.
I walked out of the store.
He followed me.
The alarm went off, and they asked him to
come back in with the unpaid merchandise he
was carrying.
I was parked near the front.
I waited around for 10 or 15 minutes to see
if he came out, but he didn't.
I haven't seen anything in the police blotter
yet, so maybe they got it all sorted out.
Lady realizes I don't work there after half
hour of being rude to me.
Lady realizes I don't work there after half
hour of being rude to me.
This is my first time on reddit and I have
an "I don't work here" story to share that
happened to me last summer.
Hopefully I'm doing this right and not breaking
any rules.
I was just browsing around the $ store, wearing
a red hoodie and black jeans, the employees
wear all black and green aprons...I accidentally
knocked over some items on a cluttered shelf
and so I put them all back neatly.
A few minutes later I noticed an older lady
intensely glaring at me.
She glared for a while before coming up to
me.
Lady: I need help finding the plastic forks!
They weren't in the kitchen section!
Me: Oh, they should be at the end of the last
aisle near all the party supplies.
Lady: (Huffs and walks off to the party aisle)
A moment later she comes back and asks where
to find another item so I tell her.
She keeps coming back and asking me where
to find each item she was looking for.
It's starting to annoy me but I am not really
good at saying no to people unless they go
to far.
She is starting to get more and more pissed
off each time she comes back.
I was texting my husband when she comes up
to me again with a loud
Lady: I don't understand why you can't just
come with me and actually show me where the
things are instead of messing around on your
phone!
You are wasting my time making me go look
by myself!
Me: (Shocked) I'm sorry I was just trying
to help
Lady: Well, you are doing a real terrible
job of it.
Your generation is so rude and lazy I can't
even believe it!
(Storms off)
I was standing there kind of shocked at how
rude she was after I told her where to find
all the stuff she wanted for the past 20 minutes
but just brushed it off assuming she wouldn't
bother me anymore.
I was wrong...
After about 5 minutes she came stomping up
to me and shoved a basket full of stuff at
me.
Lady: I don't want this stuff, put it back
for me.
Me: No, you can put it back if you don't want
it.
She went red as a tomato and looked absolutely
furious.
She was so mad that she was shaking.
Lady: EXCUSE ME!
What do you mean, NO?!
How DARE you talk to me like that!?
You stupid, lazy, little brat!!!
The whole time you have been playing on your
phone and giving me the worst customer service
I have ever had!
I am having you FIRED, I want the number for
head office and I want to see your manager!!!
I'm sick of dealing with entitled kids who
are too lazy to do their jobs and think they
are more important than PAYING CUSTOMERS!!!!
You don't deserve to have a job!
I hope no one hires you ever again after I
get you fired!
An employee had shown up after hearing this
lady yelling at me and just kind of stands
there in shock for a moment until she stops
her tirade.
Me: Mam, I don't work here.
This whole time I was just trying to be nice
by helping you...
Lady: Yeah right!
Then why were you stocking the shelves earlier....
She trailed off as she looked at the employee
in her green apron with store logo and name
tag and back to me wearing casual clothes
and she finally realized her mistake.
I have never seen anyone look so embarrassed
before.
She turned white as a sheet, dropped her basket
and walked as fast as she could without running
out of the store, got in her car and drove
away.
The employee apologized to me but I told her
not to worry about it.
I bought my stuff and walked home.
Maybe not one of the craziest stories on here
but one that makes me laugh when I think back
on it.
The time I was mistaken for an employee because
I was helping my friend with her shopping
XL
So this happened back in January, and even
though it was confusing and weird at the time,
I can get a laugh out of it now.
Some backstory to start off with:
My best friend from school moved back into
the area after several years of being away
for Uni.
She asked me if I would take her to the supermarket
to help her out with some shopping.
It's important to mention, as well, that she
is blind and uses a cane to get around.
The employees of the supermarket we went to
wear orange and mauve fleeces with the shop's
name on it (People of the UK will know which
supermarket I'm talking about!) and I was
wearing a black hoodie with a skull on the
front and jeans, so I definitely didn't look
like an employee.
So anyway, we were in the cereal aisle and
I was reading out some of the boxes for my
friend, when a middle aged woman with THAT
haircut and a big booming voice approached
us.
I will be Me, she will be Woman and my friend
will be Friend.
Woman: Where is the vinegar?
Me: Uh, probably where they keep the sauces
and that.
Woman: (Raising her voice a little bit) Well,
don't you know?
Aren't you supposed to know where everything's
kept?
Me: (Confused, not realising she thought I
worked there) Well, I... haven't been in here
for a while, so...
Woman: (Exasperated) Ugh, look, stop helping
that blind girl and come help me look for
the vinegar.
Friend: Um, what's going on?
Woman: I'm sorry dear, but can you manage
on your own for a bit?
This assistant needs to help other customers
as well as yourself.
Friend: (She got it before I did) She isn't
an assistant, she's my mate!
This woman's face was a picture.
She just kind of mumbled: "I...
Oh."
Then she drew herself up and said: "Well...
It's nice of you to help your friend out,"
and strode off somewhere.
My friend said: "What the hell was THAT all
about?" and honestly I couldn't even answer.
We continued shopping.
I saw her again at the tills when we were
paying, but I didn't let her presence be known
to my friend.
She saw me and blushed, but didn't say anything.
I just kind of shook my head and grinned.
TL;DR - Helped out my blind friend with her
shopping; some Karen-type assumed I was an
assistant.
Karen in disguise gets wrecked by master of
profanities
XXXL
I have recently joined the reddit fleet and
reading all the "IDontWorkHere" posts I have
finally gathered enough courage to post my
own story with the consent of a friend who
was a witness to another friend of his.
Sorry about the lenth, but it was the only
to convey both the detail and the atmosphere
that took place.
But before I begin, allow me to welcome you
to the balkan states and culture, a place
of nice food, good parties, great beaches,
and people you don't want to aggravate, as
we have a very high proportion of irritables
that react very agressively to provocations.
Our story begins with Zhan and Nikolai (real
names, roughly translated to english, again
with my friends consent, but they aren't reddit
users).
Zhan has previously suffered an accident,
hitting a rock in some shoals when paddling
a raft, dislocating his elbow or something
like it.
The doctors treated it and while it was okay,
it was still sore when moving so Zhan braced
it with a scarf in a discreet manner.
Later on Zhan and Nikolai coincidentally met
in a supermarket, exchanged a few words, and
since this wasn't normally Nikolai's market
of choice he asked Zhan where the baking powder
was and he pointed it to him.
Little did he know that Zhan was being preyed
upon by STEALTH KAREN (we still don't know
her real name).
I say stealth because as Nikolai described
her, she did not look like a karen at all,
but she DID have an upscale haircut and an
expensive looking outfit, pared with a chip
on her shoulder like she owns half the country.
She goes right after Zhan: KAREN: "Boy!
Hey boy!
Your store has discount beach balls, tell
me where they are!"
Clearly aggravated by her lack of manners,
he responds with the same disrespect he received.
ZHAN: "I didn't know, I don't care, ask one
of the employees, i don't work here, lady."
KAREN: "Don't lie to me boy, I saw you helping
that other person!"
Zhan, still in pain from the accident and
out of patience for her harassment, looks
angrily right in her eyes and says:
ZHAN: "I told you, I don't work here, go away!"
She moves on without saying a word and eventually
finds an employee to irritate, while Zhan
and Nikolai meet again at the vegetable section,
Nikolai asking Zhan about mountain salt this
time.
Little did he know that Karen has been paying
attention and angrily streams towards Zhan,
saying "I have has enough of your bul***t
from you employees today, I'm gonna personally
drag your ass to the manager to explain yourself!
"
Zhan wasn't paying attention as Karen proceeded
to grab him really hard exactly at the injured
elbow when he screams in agony when he pushes
Karen away and she lands sitting on the lower
potato stand, left arm gripping the banana
stand and right arm grabbing hold of the orange
basket.
Zhan went right in the face of the now poor
(not) dumbstruck karen and proceeded to yell
at her like an army drill sergeant dressing
down a recruit, but the language comming out
of his potty mouth was so foul that it drove
the whole supermarket to silence.
The curses were downright sickening, like
scraping up whatever was the bottom of the
cesspool with a spoon and flinging it to Karen.
Please bear in mind that balkan swear words
don't translate very well and they sound ten
times worse when spoken in our native language,
but here are few examples, slightly adjusted
to match the code of conduct on this subreddit.
Please note that this is Zhan screaming from
the top of his lungs, nursing his pained elbow:
"WHEN I SAY I DON'T WORK HERE, I--DO--NOT--WORK-HERE!
ARE YOU STUPIFIED OF THE WOODEN CROWN YOU
WEAR SQUEEZING THE BLOOD OUT OF YOUR BRAINS
YOU THRICE FED BCH?!?"
and
"GOD GIVE THAT A MONKEY D***K GROWS ON YOUR
FOREHEAD!"
and
"YOU WEAR THAT FANCY DRESS BUT YOU'RE NOT
WORTH LICKING THE SH**T OFF MY BOOTS!"
and
"I CURSE THE DAY YOUR MOTHER SQUEEZED YOU
OUT OF HER VA***NA!"
Those were just the ones that were translatable.
It went on for a whole TEN MINUTES all the
while Nikolai trying to get Zhan to stop.
A whole crowd gathered in the meantime, and
when police finally came, Karen was ruined!
During the outburst of Zhan's profanities,
Karen was too terrorized to cry, all she could
was shake, stare back at him with tears streaming
down her cheeks.
It is only after police broke the two apart,
did Karen dare to brake down into full bloom
crying.
AFTERMATH
The police reviewed the video tapes and fined
Karen for aggravated assault right after taking
her to a doctor for sedation.
Zhan was also fined for "violating public
order and peace", which he disputed in court
successfully on the grounds of responding
instinctively to Karens assault against him.
Nikolai wasn't punished.
I know that some of you might find this story
implausible, but please note that this was
in a small countryside BALKAN supermarket,
where the shoppers have basically an unofficial
zero tolerance policy towards entitlement
of any kind, mainly due to the local population
suffering trauma from arrogant business owners
selling their factories and other buisnesses
to foreigners who embezzled these businesses
to the ground.
A common story throughout many balkan countries.
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