 
For WOMEN ONLY

Instruction in Godliness for WOMEN

By an aged woman

"The aged women...be...teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women..." Titus 2:3-4

By Verlene Kincaid

Published by Michael Pemberton at Smashwords

Copyright 2016 Lynda Kincaid

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

ISBN: 9781310104251

Title: For Women Only

Author: Verlene Kincaid

Publisher: Smashwords, Inc.

Foreword 3

1999 6

February 1999 6

March 1999 9

April/May 1999 12

June/July 1999 15

August/September 1999 18

October 1999 21

November 1999 24

2000 27

January 2000 27

February 2000 31

April 2000 35

May/June 2000 39

July-August 2000 43

October 2000 48

2001 52

January 2001 52

March 2001 56

May 2001 60

July- August 2001 64

October 2001 68

2002 71

January 2002 71

February 2002 75

May 2002 79

August - September 2002 83

2003 87

January 2003 87

March 2003 91

August 2003 95

October 2003 98

December 2003 102

2004 106

March 2004 106

May 2004 109

September 2004 113

November 2004 117

2005 121

March 2005 121

May 2005 124

July 2005 127

September 2005 130

2006 133

March 2006 133

#  Foreword

April 2016

Dearly Beloved:

My mother passed away on August 1, 2014. After the dust settled and my father began going through her things, he charged me with putting all of her "Epistles" to women in a book. She called it, For Women Only.

There are several books with this title so I will refer to this a lot in my foreword as her Epistles. This has taken longer then either of us expected as she changed computers mid way. We had a disc that contained all of the Epistles from the first one which was dated February of 1999 through March of 2006. We also had two almost complete paper copies of this same period. But the latter portions we could not find. They were not on her computer even though this is approximately the time when she started sending them out electronically. This was puzzling to both of us. My mother was very good at keeping records, but I know she had problems with her new computer and maybe this is one of the frustrations she faced with it.

We had pretty much decided to just use what we had when life began to get busy. My father decided to move from his home in the country back into town and closer to his kids and the church. We became very busy with the details of getting a house ready for market, keeping it show ready while on the market, and then packing him up and putting all of his stuff in storage while he searched for his new home. Then, the time came to unpack and move him in. The most tedious of jobs is to unpack every single box and find a new place for it and hopefully remember where that new place is when you need whatever "it" is. Then one day, we found a folder with many of what we thought were the subsequent "Epistles". These are not dated or numbered or paged, but we were thrilled. I almost felt like we had found the lost scrolls. 

To our dismay and after many, many hours of pouring over these pages and trying to put them in some sort of order, it was concluded that these were not the "Lost Epistles" but rather a very intensive Bible Study for Women.

The following Epistles are as she mailed them out. We have gone to great lengths not to change it - and leave it as she wrote it. That was not entirely possible considering transferring from one word processing system to another, but to the best of our ability and for 99% of the whole, this is her work.

Scripture says in Proverbs 31:31, "Let her own works praise her in the gates." We have strived to do that. Most of you who will read this, download a copy, or thumb through this; knew my mother and received her epistles at one time or another. You were our first targeted audience. And, we did this based on the many comments we have received wanting to have this made available to you. We appreciate these comments and thank you for your kind words about her and the impact she had in your life.

If you happen to have any of the "Lost Epistles", we would love for you to forward your copy to us at pemberton@juno.com. You may have them on a file in your computer. This would be from the spring/summer of 2006 forward. If we get a significant amount returned to us, we will make a second edition.  Remember, it would have come from Verlene Kincaid and titled "For Women Only". She did have several different e-mails during that time, but all of these were mailed with her name in the e-mail address but with different suffixes.

Some of you may be reading this because it was given to you or you came across it in some way or other. So, for you, I will give you her back story:

Verlene Oleta Bell was born on September 17, 1936. She was the youngest of two daughters. Her older sister was two years older than her. She was not raised in a "religious" home, but she was raised in a good home. Her grandmother on her mother's side was 7th day Adventist and spoke of God often in my mother's early years. In High School, one of her best friends, was a Christian and attended a nearby Baptist Church. She invited my mother to go to church with her. This friend also played in the church softball league and my mother wanted to do that as well. In order to play on the team, you had to attend their Sunday School regularly and thus began my mother's introduction to the word of God and his great plan of salvation. She told me many times how good this Sunday School teacher was and how much she learned from her and how thankful she was for her. It wasn't long afterwards that she understood that she was a sinner in need of a Savior. She called on the Lord at 16 years old.

At 18 she married her High School sweetheart, and became a Kincaid. Sandra, her friend from church, along with Sandra's mother began praying for my father. Right before my mom and dad turned 21, my dad got saved. His life immediately changed. He knew right a way that he was called to preach and the "Grand Adventure", as my mom called it, began. She became a pastor's wife and through the years she was an Evangelists wife and then a Missionary wife. She followed my father who was following the Lord.

When she was in her late thirties, and after she had given birth to 5 children and had even climbed a volcano, she followed my dad as he began to start the church where she would help him in ministry for the rest of her life: Gatherings In Jesus Name in San Antonio, Texas. He was starting a church that was not part of any denomination and based on what he saw in scripture. This was a radical move and not one that was well understood by her friends and family. All in all, she labored in this work for 40 years. She considered it one of her exceeding great joys. She didn't marry a preacher, but she faithfully loved and followed a preacher till the Lord received her into glory. About 15 years into this work, she felt the need to send out an Epistle to the women of the church teaching them what is commanded in Titus chapter 2. She, herself, elaborates on this in her first "For Women Only", which is the first chapter of this book. It is a beautiful forward.

Over time, many others besides the women of the church were on the mailing list. It included friends and family and some people she had never even met, but were recommended by someone and/or asked to be included. I came across a thank you note by one of her friends and have included it here. The note is from Doris West, who was also a preacher's wife for most of her life.

"Dear Verlene, April 21, 2000

Hi, dear friend. Just wanted to thank you again for writing, "For Women Only". It is such a blessing. My daughter in love, Darla, tells me that David can't wait to read it each time. They are enjoying it so much.

I want to send you another offering to help in the mailing. I'm so thankful God led you to do this. It's exactly what I've had the desire to do, but have never done it. I'm so thankful for you, Verlene. It's just perfect.

I'm mentioning this to so many as we travel and I want them to be blessed as I'm being blessed, so if you hear from ladies in Idaho or Dallas area, etc. and you're wondering how they found out, you can blame me for at least a part of it. What do you do about mailing it to Mexico? I just told a precious young missionary lady about this and let her read my copy. She has taken the address and will probably write to you. Thanks again, Verlene.

Love in him

Doris West

Galatians 6:9

My mother was an avid reader and a very good student. She studied the bible faithfully and deeply. She also could write well as you will see. She had a quick wit about her and a good humor. She was also a very private person and worked diligently to keep her life as private as is possible being a pastor's wife. But, as you will tell, she is open in her writings.

I feel, as does my father, that there is a lot one can glean from her writings. Our hope is that it will bless you, inspire you, and comfort you in your walk with the Lord.

If you do not know the Lord as your personal Savior, scripture tells us that, "now is the accepted time...now is the day of salvation. (2 Corinthians 6:2). It is quite simple, really. In Romans 10:9 it says, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." In verse 10 it explains that, "For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." Then, in verse 13, it concludes that, "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." You can do this right now wherever you are reading this. If you want to read more about this, we recommend you start with the Gospel of John. He specifies that he wrote what he wrote so that we can know! If you have any questions or you want to contact us regarding this book or in regards to your salvation, look up Gatherings In Jesus Name on the internet. We would love to hear from you.

I want to conclude by thanking first of all, Brian Thibault. He was another elder at her church that inspired my mom to begin these writings. He then would mention it over and over again; the need to make these into a book. Next, I want to thank my sister, Suzanna Kincaid Ochoa, who also faithfully encouraged this book to be written. Then, (and most importantly) I want to thank my father - Lyndell Kincaid; who charged me with this honor and then oversaw it and funded it. Last of all, I want to thank my dear husband, Michael Pemberton, who was my tech guy and patiently worked with me to finish the job!

To God be the Glory

Great things he hath done,

Lynda Kincaid Pemberton

Isaiah 12:3-6

#  1999

## February 1999

For Women Only ......from an aged woman.

Titus 2:3-4 says: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to......"

I have been convicted by this verse for quite some time and recently in Brother Brian's lesson, one of his verses was about fulfilling your ministry: those who should be teaching - teach!

I had given much thought before about how to go about this particular ministry of my teaching younger women. The simplest way I know is by having a newsletter just for women and sending it out to you ladies in the church, and some of my personal friends. To be honest, I have dreaded the time it would take, and have not been very eager to start doing it. BUT NOW - God clearly told me that I needed to do this; therefore I am going to try and follow His leadership and do my best to teach whatever it is I am supposed to teach.

To me it seemed very logical to start with these verses in Titus. I am an aged woman, the elder elder's wife, and perhaps God can use me to help some of you. I hope it will be a blessing.

First of all I asked myself the question why? Why do I need to teach these things? I am told to be a teacher of GOOD THINGS and he lists some of the things I need to teach. Now if I am expected to teach, evidently you are expected to LEARN. And if these things need to be taught they aren't something you just naturally "know". And why are they so important? Verse 5 tells us: "that the WORD OF GOD be not blasphemed". (To me that is a very good reason.)

Perhaps that is why the VERY FIRST THING to be taught is: BE SOBER

I don't know about you, but the very first thing that comes to my mind when I read those words is: Don't be drunk! And of course that is one thing we must be sure of - that we don't get drunk. Well, to not ever get drunk you will have to make it a point to not ever drink. (Statistics prove that a high number of people who drink WILL become alcoholics - and even if you don't, you aren't sure that your children won't.) If three beers make you drunk, when you drink one beer you are 1/3 drunk. BE SOBER, NOT DRUNK!

But the word SOBER has several meanings and "not drunk" is only one of these. It also means to be temperate or moderate. Another meaning of the word is: not mad or insane, being reasonable; not wild, visionary, or heated with passion; regular, calm, cool, etc. Don't let your passions control you!

And then the meaning that I am going to dwell on in this newsletter is SERIOUS, solemn, grave. Now as you know, we teach much about being JOYFUL, being full of THANKSGIVING, doing a lot of PRAISING, etc. Therefore, when we are talking about being serious or solemn, we don't mean not to be JOYFUL, don't smile, etc. I think what is meant is simply this: Think SERIOUSLY about certain things.

Your MARRIAGE for example. YOUR MARRIAGE is more important than your feelings or your own individual success. You need to SERIOUSLY CONSIDER your EVERY ACTION and WORD and how it will affect your marriage. You need to seriously consider some questions: Am I selfish? Am I a nag? Am I a criticizer? A complainer? Lazy? Malcontent? Well, GET SERIOUS about STOPPING these things and becoming generous, thankful, industrious, meek and content. BE SOBER! Soberly do things that EDIFY (build up) your marriage and soberly ask God to help you quit doing things that DESTROY (tear down) your marriage. BE SOBER ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE!!!

Think SERIOUSLY about your ministry for the Lord. Find out what it is He wants you to do, and soberly go about doing it. MAKE A COMMITMENT (a covenant) that you will be SOBER about serving Jesus. If the only thing you know for sure you should be doing is to gather together with the believers, then soberly commit yourself to BE THERE, to ALWAYS BE THERE. There are some people who meet with us that when they are not there, we know that they had a VERY GOOD REASON. Then there are others..........we have no idea when they will be there, or even if they will be there. Building up the church is the last thing on their minds. Who builds up the church? The ones who COME are the ones who edify the other believers! They are the ones that make a strong church. If you only come when it is convenient, then you are not taking the church very seriously, and believe me GOD takes His church VERY SERIOUSLY. If you aren't thinking like God, you are not Godly (like God). If you put other things before the things of the Lord, you are hurting the church, but most of all, you are hurting YOURSELF.

The marriage relationship and the church relationship are two of the most important things for you to BE SOBER about. But I think you get the point. BE JOYFUL, but also BE SOBER.

\------------------------------------------------

LADIES: If you missed the revival meetings, you truly missed a great blessing. Brother Brent preached some tremendous messages. What a joy to fellowship with his whole family again, and what a pleasure to hear his preaching ten days in a row. The reason we have meetings like this is that when you consistently hear God's word preached night after night (all in a row) your faith grows. "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God." Praise the Lord, Brother Brent preaches the word.

Those of you who did come - don't forget Saturday night's message - it is SCRIPTURAL to say: Amen! Praise the Lord! AND to: raise your hands! clap your hands! He used his whole sermon showing us JUST HOW SCRIPTURAL IT IS !!!!!!!!

And he expects you to practice what he preached!

"By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name." Heb. 13:15

QUESTION AND ANSWER PARAGRAPH:

This question was put to me by one who is new to our assembly. Why didn't you do something for December 25th? So to all of you who are new I am going to give just one of the main reasons (there is a printed study on it in the hallway) and hope it helps your understanding:

WHEN THIS CHURCH WAS STARTED, it was started FROM SCRATCH. By that I mean that a commitment was made by Lyndell to lay aside ALL TRADITIONS, rituals, forms, etc. that we were following and GO BACK TO THE SCRIPTURE. He made up his mind that what was not CLEARLY TAUGHT in the New Testament for the church to be doing he would not do, and what was CLEARLY TAUGHT for it to be doing, he would try to practice it and would preach that it should be practiced. Two facts came to light:

1. The church in the New Testament never celebrated the birthday of Jesus.

2. The church was never TOLD to celebrate the birthday of Christ.

Therefore, this church has never done so.

\--------------------------------------------------

IF I HAD IT TO DO OVER AGAIN, I WOULD:

Make a list of all my values and give it to my children when they reached the age of 12 (or so). Example: 1. God is absolute power

2. His word is absolute truth

3. His values are absolutely right

4. Etc..............................................

Another list I'd make is how and why we do or don't do certain things.

Example: 1. Tithing/giving/why it is more blessed to give than to receive

2. Why it is needful to go to all four meetings of the church and why it should be a priority

3. Why we would not take certain jobs that compromise us (i.e. where we sold alcoholic drinks; where we had to miss church services)

4. Why we don't drink; don't use foul language; don't go to dances; don't wear short shorts or other revealing clothing; why we don't,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, etc......... \- the list should include everything you have a conviction about. Even if they don't agree with you, they need to know WHY you have the conviction. That there is REASON behind your madness!

Somehow I thought that since we believed or did these things. they would automatically understand why. But they need to know your reasoning behind these things. And they need to have it clearly presented to them. As for me, I write things easier and clearer than I speak things. When I have to speak - I forget half of what I really intended to say. Therefore, I would make lists. This is something I did not do that I wished I had. I think it would have been easier on my teenagers if they would have had it all written down for them and clearly explained on paper. I feel it helps them understand why you restrict them from certain things and why you insist on them doing certain things. They have it also for a

reference when they are trying to sort out their own personal beliefs and goals in life.

How about some news from Mexico - in case you haven't heard:

San Luis Potosi: In 1998 they committed to preach to the towns around San Luis Potosi. They decided to visit every street in these towns and by the end of 1998 they had completed this in 17 towns!

Salamanca: Will be baptizing 9 people this month. There are 5 preachers preaching on Tuesdays and Saturdays and about 30 adults at their meetings.

Aguascalientes: Will have a World Evangelism Conference in February. Brother Brent Riggs will be one of the preachers.

Queretaro: Will have a praise meeting in February - simply to praise and give thanks to God for his blessings.

Aren't you glad you are a part of this ministry? Keep praying for ALL the churches in Mexico and for Brent and Joey and the ministry in Poland. We need God to bless us or we won't be blessed!

\------------------------------------JESUS CHRIST IS LORD--------------------------------------

In all things He should have the preeminence!

## March 1999

For Women Only .....from an aged woman.

Titus 2:2-4: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things: ...teach the young women to:

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND: This is seemingly simple. But it has so many aspects that I am overwhelmed before I start. Exactly what am I to teach? Is it only that you SHOULD/

it is right/it is commanded? Does he want me to go into detail and teach you HOW? Does he mean to teach what it is? Does he mean tender love? Sexual love? Submissive love? Does he include all these things? Can you see my problem?

It seems unreal that anyone would have to teach a woman to LOVE her husband, except for the fact that many women DON'T! In our day and age - in our culture - it is very PROBABLE that a woman marries a man because she thinks she loves him. But in most cultures throughout history, marriages were arranged by parents. EVEN NOW, there are women who marry simply because they have been asked and are afraid it is their last chance; or they are in love with the IDEA of being married and they marry the first one who asks them; some women marry because they don't like living alone; some women marry because they need security and want someone to take care of them; some marry because they want a family; some marry because it's "expected"; (or they're "expecting"); I have even known women who married because they were "in love" with the idea of a BIG, BEAUTIFUL WEDDING.

THEREFORE, it just may be very needful to teach some of you to love your husband. If you are married to a man you don't love, I am telling you NOW: Love Your Husband! Remember, love is not a feeling; it is something you DO. It doesn't "just happen". According to SCRIPTURE it is something we can CONTROL. God commands us to love God, to love our neighbor, to love our enemy, to love the brethren, etc. You can CHOOSE to love, or CHOOSE not to love.

If you have been married for awhile and are frustrated by how incompatible you two are and things have gone kind of sour - you may be thinking you don't love him anymore. Well, God wants me to tell you: Love Your Husband! You CAN love him. You NEED to love him. To please God, you MUST love him. If he is not worthy (undeserving) of your love and you have decided that you will NOT EVER care anymore about your marriage - you must examine your heart and listen to God say: Love Your Husband!

Are you a single woman? It helps if you fall in love with (feel romantic about) the guy you marry, but even if you don't have that feeling: if you like him, trust and respect him, and enjoy being around him - you'll be surprised how quickly love can come. Lyndell and I have long believed that two dedicated Christians could marry for "whatever reason" and live very happy, rewarding lives, ending up deeply "in love" with one another.

THEREFORE, before I get into all of the deep (and I do mean deep) ramifications of this second thing I am supposed to teach the younger women, YOU must make up your mind that THE FACT of the situation is: YOU are COMMANDED to LOVE YOUR HUSBAND and I am COMMANDED to teach you this fact. Repeat to yourself every morning: I LOVE my husband. I WILL love my husband. I will bow my head and worship the ways of God and this is HIS WAY: as a wife, I am to LOVE MY HUSBAND. And then? DO IT.

To be pleasing to God (and therefore to be happy), you need to be a doer of the Word and not a hearer only. As much of the Word as you put into practice, just that much joy and happiness you will find. (You reap what you sow, remember?)

God gives you these commandments for YOUR GOOD - not His! Think of it in that light. For ME to be truly happy, I must do this. This may sound like a selfish reason, but most of your actions are for selfish reasons, and since we CAN use our selfishness for our own good, we may as well do so. So for YOUR OWN SAKE, love your husband.

.......................................................................................

Some of you will not like the idea of me saying you are COMMANDED to do ANYTHING. Believe it or not, Jesus gave COMMANDMENTS. (Acts 1:2 & elsewhere)

WHAT IS LOVE? Some definitions you may already know:

1) Worldly: I have this "tingling" feeling when he's around; He's cool, he's a hunk, he's handsome, what a body, I want him to be mine; I hear bells when we kiss; I go limp with desire when he puts his arms around me; I think about him all the time, I want to be with him night and day; I enjoy how he makes me feel, how he "woos" me/courts me/seduces me.

2) Dictionary: To be pleased with; to regard with affection because of qualities which give us pleasure; to have benevolence or good will for; a strong attachment springing from good will and esteem.

3) Scriptural: To care for a person so much that you want only the best for him and will sacrifice of yourself in order for him to have it.

==================================

Re: Mission Offerings:

I just read the financial report and $157,761 went to missions last year through this church and the LKEA. That sounds like a tremendous amount of money and we kind of feel content. But: Not all of that went to the ten missionary families sent out by our church. Some of it went to the Kunihiro brothers in Brazil, some of it went the Wests in Turkey, some of it went to the Weavers in Russia, some of it went to the Casteels in Indonesia - you get the picture. AS IT IS IN TRUTH, our ten missionary families received around $139,000 which would be an average yearly income of $13,900. Do YOU live on $14,000 a year? Some of you may, but most of you live on MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Remember also that out of that $13,900 - they must pay self-employment taxes; it includes NO retirement benefits, and NO health insurance. They must provide for their families: rent, food, clothes, education, transportation; and (on top of that) equipment and supplies for their ministries.

I am simply giving you facts, and I am NOT giving them to you for YOU to give more (although maybe you should). WHAT I AM ASKING is that you become a CARING PARTNER with our missionaries and start praying earnestly that these missionaries (if it could be in God's will) would receive more money on a regular basis. Pray that people who aren't giving to them would start doing so.

Make it a matter of DAILY intercession. They are sacrificing a lot to go - maybe we should sacrifice a lot also.

.............................................................................................

IF I HAD IT TO DO OVER AGAIN, I WOULD: Offer more praise to my children.

NO - I am not for this new-fangled theory of education which is "Never be Negative".

I FIRMLY believe there is nothing wrong with "Thou shalt not!", or "You have sinned.", etc. I think children SHOULD be told when they have done wrong, and disciplined (trained).

BUT, you also do nothing wrong when you mention all the GOOD things they have done. In God's rebuke to the churches (Rev. 2 & 3) he STARTS OFF with what they have done RIGHT and then adds "But I have somewhat against thee..." We need to let our children know that we don't just pay attention to the things they do wrong, that we see and appreciate all that they do right. I wish I would have done this more with my children. Kids, forgive me!

FAMILIES ARE LIKE FUDGE: Mostly sweet with a few nuts. D. Levy

I have no yesterdays, time took them away.

Tomorrow may never be; but I have today!

QUESTION & ANSWER PARAGRAPH:

  17. What should we do when we feel we have been cheated (or harmed or offended) by another Christian?

A: It is VERY HARD to not be bitter and want to retaliate in kind. BUT from the New Testament principles we find it is better to quietly let yourself be cheated than to hold a grudge (be bitter); or retaliate; or tell everyone about it.

From my years of experience, putting this principle into practice results in a blessing for yourself. First of all, talk to the Lord about it - but DON'T spread it around to others. Tell the Lord exactly how you feel. (Lord I am angry. I feel very hurt. I expected more out of this person. I want to tell everyone about it and I want to hurt him like I've been hurt, etc.) THEN - turn it over to the Lord to handle in his own good time and way. TRUST HIM to do what is BEST for all of you and put it behind you.

IF it is a NOTORIOUS sin and you are members of the same assembly then you have the option of going the church discipline route and should do so. But if they aren't in the same assembly and you can't get them to make it right (Matt. 18) my advice is with Paul: go ahead and suffer the wrong. Over the years, I've seen that the ones who go this route never lose in the long run. They have the temporary loss of whatever they were cheated out of but they have much greater gain in the long run of life. It pays to let Jesus handle these things.

"God is still on His Throne; we're still on His footstool; and there's only a knee's difference between."

The degree I seek is A. U. G. - "Approved Unto God" - Jim Elliot

JESUS CHRIST IS LORD!

In all things He should have the preeminence.

##  April/May 1999

For Women Only .....from an aged woman

Titus 2:2-4: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women to:

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND. We dealt with this last month. For some of you this comes easy but to others it seems God is asking you to do the impossible. Some men are loveable and others? Well, they take much grace.

HOW do you love a husband you don't already love? WHAT CAN YOU DO? I can't tell you exactly because I've never had that particular problem. I have been ANGRY at my husband. In fact, I've been FURIOUS at him. I've DISAGREED with him. I've QUESTIONED his decisions. I've RESENTED having to submit to him. I've been truly HURT (not physically) by him. I have felt NEGLECTED by him. But I have never not loved him.

BUT...I do know how I came to love God. As a young girl, I BELIEVED in God. I believed that the Bible was God's Word. I believed Jesus was God's son. I accepted these things as truth and I don't ever remember doubting them. As a teenager, I started attending church (my parents never went to church while I was growing up) and I thought I was a Christian because I believed these truths. But at 16 years of age I came to FEAR God. That fear brought me to a place of repentance and I TRUSTED Jesus as my Saviour. I BELIEVED. I FEARED. I TRUSTED. BUT I didn't LOVE God. I was in awe of him and never doubted His Power or Knowledge or Wisdom, etc., but I had not learned to LOVE Him.

Then came a time when I began to PRAISE Him and to sincerely THANK Him for all he had done for me. I began to glory in Him being the kind of God he was (when He could have been any kind of God He wanted). I read in scripture how I was supposed to love Him with all my:

HEART: So I set my affections on Him and His work and His pleasure.

MIND:` So I thought on all the good things I knew about Him.

SOUL: So I praised Him every chance I got.

STRENGTH: So I gave my energy to pleasing Him.

My heart began to be filled with awe and joy and peace and I LOVED HIM.

NOW THAT DOES NOT ANSWER the "HOW" to love an enemy, nor a man who mistreats you, but it DOES explain where to START! If there is ANY good quality in the man you are married to (and SURELY you weren't dumb enough to marry one who had none) then start telling him you appreciate that quality. Praise these qualities to your children, parents, friends, coworkers, etc. Brag on him every chance you can. Think only good thoughts about him. Don't talk bad about him to others or let yourself dwell on his bad qualities.

IF HE HAS CHANGED since you married him, try and figure out WHY. See if there is anything you can do to change him back. Is he bitter at you for any reason? Has stress caused him to get depressed? Has Satan deceived him and lured him into living for the world's goals and applause? Give him every benefit of the doubt you possibly can. You need to make a point to see his side of all situations. Seek the best for your husband and do whatever you can to make it happen.

MAKE HIM YOUR PRIORITY, after God of course. Make your marriage your ONE AND ONLY CAREER. In our day and age our worldly careers, our families (parents, siblings, cousins, aunts/uncles, grandparents), our children, our self-esteem, our preferences, our pride, our selfishness, our etc. etc. etc. all come before the husband and the marriage. This is wrong and you should not follow this trend.

BUT - you say - he's weak. He's lazy. He's cruel. He drinks. He's wasteful. He's rude. He's inconsiderate. (And so forth...) If you think on these things you'll be depressed and will come to hate him. Quit thinking of the bad. Think on the good. (Phil. 4:8) Don't nag about the bad (bite your tongue). Praise him for the good. Don't criticize him in front of anyone (bite your tongue). Point out every good thing you know about him to everyone you possibly can. Write lists of all the things he does that are right and just and good and kind and tender and sweet and self-sacrificing and ........... It won't be long and you'll LOVE him.

HEART: Set your affections on him and his goals and his pleasure.

MIND: Think only good thoughts about him.

SOUL: Praise him regularly.

STRENGTH: Use your energy to build your marriage (not tear it down).

I have a feeling this will help.

Is he like an enemy? You don't have much to praise? Try and put yourself in his shoes and see why he might be the way he is. Start praying for him to receive blessings and joy in his life. Keep praying he'll repent. (Phil. 4:6-7) Forgive him. Be longsuffering. Be tender. Be kind (Eph. 4:29-32) Turn the other cheek. Walk the extra mile. Treat him as you'd want to be treated. TAKE JESUS AT HIS WORD and do what He told you to do. Remember the first lesson? BE SOBER! GET SERIOUS! Jesus taught to return good for evil. Paul and Peter both repeat this principle. Is it a Biblical viewpoint? I guess it is. Is he ugly to you? Be sweet to him. If he hurts you (I'm not speaking of physical hurt) and you hurt him back, he'll feel the need to retaliate and hurt you again; then you'll hurt him out of spite and you'll keep on hurting each other over and over. STOP it the FIRST TIME, and just LOVE him.

I LIKE PETER RUCKMAN'S Y2K ADVICE:

1. Prepare for the worst.

2. Hope for the best.

I was asked by one of you to give you a list of some GOOD books for your children. Well,

moms, how about it? Let me know what books you can recommend and I'll share that with all of you. They are wanting books that teach TRUTH. Here are some books I'll recommend:

*For very young children the book I liked best of all:

The Bible In Pictures for Little Eyes by Kenneth Taylor

*For young women:

Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot

*For you "grown-ups", some books that have blessed my life:

ANYTHING written by Elizabeth Elliot.

ANYTHING written by Watchman Nee, especially Love Not the World.

C. T. Studd by Norman Grubb

Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis

Revival Lectures by Charles Finney

................................................................................

I was talking to the missionary wives and they mentioned that their husbands read my newsletter also. "Well," I said, "I guess I better not deal with sexual love in it." They immediately said, "Oh, yes, do!" Well, I may and may not, but I can recommend a good book written by a medical doctor with a Christian's sexual morality in mind:

Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat, M.D.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SOME INTERESTING FIGURES: Offerings for missions as a percentage of total offerings:

CHURCH location: Year: 1995 1996 1997 1998

San Antonio, TX (us) 76% 71% 73% 67%

Leon, Mexico 71% 69% 82% 83%

Aguas Calientes, Mexico 48% 29% 45% 55%

San Juan Bosco, Mexico N/A N/A N/A 78%

Morelia, Mexico N/A N/A N/A 75%

I don't know about you but seeing our Mexican brethren so mission minded thrills me!

(I don't have amounts from the other churches in Mexico.)

**********************************

QUESTION & ANSWER paragraph: On Sunday nights Lyndell sometimes opens up the meeting for questions. The other night a good, tough one was put to him. What does 1 Tm. 2:14-15 mean: "...but the woman being deceived was in the transgression, notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety."

Of course Lyndell always answers by telling us first what the verse could NOT mean. And then he gives suggestions as to what it COULD mean. After the meeting, several of us were discussing these ideas, and I thought I'd share with you what I personally think.

Notice that the verse does NOT say she shall be saved BY childbearing. He is NOT telling us that the way a woman gets salvation from her sin is BY having children.

================================

THINK BIG THOUGHTS BUT RELISH SMALL PLEASURES.

================================

Something I read that made me want my front porch with rocking chairs on it:

"....and when we grow old, I will find two chairs and set them close each sun-lit day, that you and I – in quiet joy – may rock the world away."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jesus Christ is Lord!

##  June/July 1999

For Women Only .....from an aged woman.

Titus 2:2-4: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women to:

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND. I'll probably come back to this admonition at another time, but for now - let me remind you: Sexual love is a VERY IMPORTANT PART of a good marriage. You need to love your husband sexually. 1 Cor. 7 tells us PLAINLY that both marriage partners need to be fully satisfied sexually by their spouse - IN ORDER TO MINIMIZE TEMPTATION. If you don't satisfy your husband in his sexual needs - you make it harder for him to resist another woman's wiles. TAKE CARE OF YOUR HUSBAND SEXUALLY. (And the husband needs to take care of your sexual needs also, as per 1 Cor. 7.)

One other way to love your husband is to treat him with utmost courtesy. He deserves to be treated as nice as you treat a neighbor, friend, relative or stranger. A little common courtesy in the home GOES A LONG WAY toward making it a happy home.

\-----------------------------------------------

NOW BACK TO OUR VERSE: "...teach the young women to: LOVE YOUR CHILDREN.

Love your children? It truly seems strange that God would put this in His Word. I can't imagine having to TEACH a woman to love her children. It is the most natural thing in the world, it seems to me, for a mother to love her children. But in our society child abuse (physical, sexual & mental) is common; child pornography is on WEB sites, in the mail and on the news; abortion is an accepted birth control method; key-latch kids are a national concern; teen-age pregnancy is rampant; psychiatrists are now having open discussions on whether or not adults having sex with children is normal and should be acceptable;---we could go on and on. To me, this is proof that young women need to be TAUGHT to LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, because evidently there is a big group who doesn't. Our younger generation just may learn from that group if we don't make it a point to teach the RIGHT WAYS. TEACH the younger women that abortion is murder. TEACH the younger women that child pornography and molestation is wicked. TEACH the younger women what GOD says about children and love. They'll surely pick up on what is being taught out in the world, and therefore we older women MUST TEACH the younger women to love their children. But don't forget what love is: LOVE is wanting the best for the other person and being willing to give of yourself to help them have it.

I once read that the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. What is the most important thing you as a mother can do for your child? LOVE HIS FATHER! MAKE THE MARRIAGE WORK! If this is your second marriage, make THIS marriage work. If you are already a single mom \- then pray for mercy and do the very best you can, but in truth, children NEED THEIR FATHERS.

If you are a married mom - then be a stay-at-home mom if this is at all possible. Some women have to work - I understand that. They have been widowed; their husband is disabled; their husband has deserted them or left them for another woman; they have had to flee from an abusive husband (abusive to them or their children); YES, there are necessary reasons for a woman to work. In New Testament times some of the believers were slaves; well of course a slave did not have the privilege of being a homemaker for herself & her family. God understands all of these situations and He has special mercy for the widows and orphans - His Word plainly tells us so; therefore I am sure He has special mercy for any of your unusual or special circumstance.

BUT my advice is to TRY and be a stay-at-home mother, for your children's sake. As a young mother in a "low income" situation, I sold Avon and Stanley Products; I even tried babysitting for a colonel's wife ....it was hard to make ends meet. My sister cooked lunches for her church school; sold various products; sewed clothes for other people; baked wedding cakes; etc. to help pay bills. We did not have things handed to us on a silver platter, but we were determined to stay home with our children if possible. My mother-in-law picked cotton during the depression and afterward built a room onto her house in order to have a beauty shop and still be "home" when her kids came home from school. YES - we've had to help our husbands out financially - but we did everything in our power to be HOME for the children. This is what God means when he tells the younger widows to marry and "guide the house". Our homes need someone to be there to take care of them. Yes, I had career plans - I started college and desired to be a school teacher, but marriage and children became more important to me. I have never regretted that decision. You don't lose in the long run by giving up things for the sake of your marriage and children. A good marriage is not high on the "stock market" quotes, but I think it is high on God's list. A good home with happy children may not be "marketable" in the job market, but it pays high dividends. You CAN do with less money, but your children CAN'T do with less of you. If you must work to provide food & raiment, ok (1 Tm. 6:8) - but if not - ONE of you (either mom or dad) BE THERE for your kids. You'll have less money and less things \- but the WHOLE FAMILY will be winners over the long haul.

In previous decades, surveys showed the biggest source of problems for married couples was money; now when they are asked, the majority of two-career couples answer "too little time".

If you have ever worked outside of the home and tried to keep up with all of the work involved in homemaking, plus have time for your children and husband, you know exactly what they mean. It is hard enough to maintain a good relationship when it is just the husband who has to face the problems of the work place, but life is a little calmer when he gets to come home to a pleasant wife who has had time to wash the clothes, clean the house, cook the evening meal, help the children with their homework, etc.. But if both parents work, they both get frustrated over all that has to be done at home - after a long (& perhaps hard) day at the office, And when the parents are frustrated, the children will naturally be affected. MOM - love your children - build a very pleasant home environment for them. This is very hard to do if both parents are working - not impossible - but extremely difficult. I would exhort you to be a homekeeper! Put your career on hold. (I DID finally go to work full-time when I was 52 years old - ha!)

===== ===== ===== ===== =====

LOVE YOUR CHILDREN: Most babies are not beautiful at birth & some babies are

born with a handicap. A new mother is expecting to feel exhilarated and petted by her husband. Instead she is tired to her bones; she may have after pains, agony from stitches, or post-natal depression. Does a new mother need to be taught to love her children? VERY POSSIBLY! After the baby arrives \- instead of the wonderful delight she expected, it will be pure chaos. Laundry piles up, meals get delayed, sleep gets interrupted, frustration and weariness are overpowering. Some women tend to blame the baby and resent every demand he makes on her. Mom - hang in there - there WILL be time to cuddle and sing and read and play \- so new mother, LOVE that sweet, selfish, demanding child. This time too, will pass away. They will be teenagers before you know it, with OTHER demands on your heart.

QUESTION AND ANSWER PARAGRAPH:

Question: I feel I have truly loved my children, and yet they went astray. But I read in the Bible that "Love Never Fails". Where did I go wrong?

Answer: Yes, 1 Cor. 13 says that "charity never fails." We can put salve on our wounds and tell ourselves that we did not have perfect love, which is true since only God has perfect love. BUT WE MUST NOT PULL VERSES OUT OF THEIR CONTEXT and try to make them say something they don't say. This verse does NOT SAY love always wins. Does God say He loved the Jewish nation? Did they rebel? GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, remember that verse? But has the WORLD loved Him? Jesus loved the rich young ruler, but his love was not enough to save him. GO BACK TO THE VERSE IN 1 Cor. 13. Paul is dealing with things that will someday cease/stop/be-no-more. CHARITY is the ONLY thing that NEVER CEASES/ never stops/never fails. Tongues cease. Knowledge passes away. Prophesies fail. These three temporary, "special" gifts have already ceased to be. The remaining things are Faith, Hope, Charity. When we see Jesus face to face (Oh glorious day), we will no longer need faith. When we are in our mansions or walking the streets of gold, we no longer need hope. ALL THAT REMAINS IS CHARITY. CHARITY NEVER FAILS (ceases). But even God's PERFECT love for your children does not guarantee they won't stray. THEY have to choose to love in return. But loving them and teaching them of God's love certainly helps them choose RIGHT!

```````````````````````````````````````````

VISITING FOR THE LORD: A lot of you women will be out trying to reach people for the Lord in the days ahead. Remember the verse in Romans 10:14: "How shall they believe on Him of whom they have not heard?" NOT EVERYONE we talk to will turn to Christ, but we are not going to see ANYONE trust Christ if we don't talk to SOMEONE.

_________________________________________

VOLUNTEERING: As we've mentioned quite often, we need volunteers for the nursery at all services. We do this in order to save money. Because you volunteer to do this ministry, we have more money for missions, tracts, tapes, printing, etc. YOU are thus giving to the Lord! Personally, I always enjoyed working in the nursery - I LOVE THE PRECIOUS BABES. I also got to know the children, and that was a blessing. You also get to meet the parents and have an opportunity to fellowship with them. Not only was it a pleasure for me, but I always knew it was a MINISTRY. It allowed lost parents to hear the preaching and get saved and it allowed busy parents a chance to hear the preaching without the interruptions of their small children. I hope all of you are doing this as a ministry & will find great joy in it. "By love serve one another." Gal. 5:13

___________________________________________________

A GOOD BOOK: Victorious Christians You Should Know by Warren W. Wiersbe;

(The following books I have not read - I am taking other people's word that they are good.)

For young women: Lady in Waiting by Jones and Kendall.

For anyone 6th grade and up: The Wakefield Dynasty by Gilbert Morris

For wives: Act of Marriage by Tim & Beverly LeHaye

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The rule of the bedroom: The spouse who snores loudest will always fall asleep first.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

WHEN IN DOUBT, MAKE THE LOVING CHOICE.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

##  August/September 1999

For Women Only .....from an aged woman....

Titus 2:2-4: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women to:

1. BE SOBER: Take this idea of living as a Christian VERY SERIOUSLY.

2. LOVE YOUR HUSBAND: Do something EVERY DAY to SHOW your love in a special way. Also TELL him you love him!

3. LOVE YOUR CHILDREN: Tell them you do. Show them you do.

In the scriptures, love and discipline go hand in hand. It's those the Lord LOVES he chastens. If He's not chastening you when you disobey, you might need to wonder about your relationship with him. (Hebrews 12:5-11) The BIBLE says: "A child left to himself will bring his mother to shame." YOU must spend time with them. YOU must SPANK them.

You must: 1) TEACH them. Teach them the difference between right and wrong and the consequences of each.

2) TRAIN them. By chastening and rewarding. Raise them up in the NURTURE & ADMONITION of the Lord. It takes both.

3) PRAY for them. "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man AVAILETH MUCH." I can't emphasize enough that you keep asking God for MERCY!!!!!

You need to memorize the following verses and remind yourself over and over that they are TRUE.

Hebrews 12:6; Revelation 3:19; Proverbs 19:18; 27:5-6; 28:23; 13:24; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15,17; Psalm 94:12; 118:18; Deut. 8:5.

You need to remember that discipline/chastening is FOR THEIR GOOD - with the goal of having them being self disciplined, ruling their own spirit. (Prov. 25:28)

IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD YOU WILL CHASTEN HIM \- YOU WILL NOT SPARE THE ROD.

One of the greatest blessings in my life was when I came to TOTALLY TRUST God; not only for salvation, but in my manner of living; when I truly realized all He wanted me to do was for MY GOOD. Just trust HIM and HIS WISDOM - it will set you free.

THREE THINGS YOUR CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW:

  1. Who's the boss

  2. What the rules are

  3. Who will enforce them

Just a note: Most of MY personal parenting knowledge came from studies of who God is and how he relates to his children. Also, Lyndell and I were both blessed by having parents who were disciplinarians themselves and therefore showed us that LOVE & SPANKING go hand in hand. We both were very self assured that our parents LOVED us and yet we both were SPANKED when we disobeyed. Therefore, in one sense, we were TAUGHT/TRAINED by our parents that spanking was just good parenting. Did there come a time when we rebelled? Of course there did, but we also had a knowledge of right from wrong, and what punishment was.

This is a quote: "The most vital piece of wisdom to give your child is the inevitability of life. Every act is followed, without fail, by a consequence. True responsibility can only come from your own inner discipline. The time will come when parents no longer discipline nor decide. The decisions must be made by the person himself, and they need to learn to appreciate consequence. Setting rules is only half the job. Be prepared to enforce the penalties when the rules are broken. Make sure they know why you made the rule and what will happen if they break it. BE CONSISTENT. BE CONSISTENT. BE CONSISTENT. Enforce. Enforce. Enforce. Follow through. Follow through. Follow through. Be reasonable. AFTER a rule is broken, don't add new consequences or change them. Don't have harsh consequences for minor infractions." \- S.N.P.

Our nation is in serious trouble because there is a lack of discipline everywhere. Some states have recently passed laws stating specifically that spanking your child is NOT child abuse. In fact they are ASKING parents to spank their children. Governor Bush has clearly and openly stated that spanking is not considered abuse and is very much needed in the home. Louisiana just passed a law that all elementary children must address their teachers and other staff with a "ma'am" or a "sir". This is to instill "respect for elders". In other words, even secular interests are seeing that the Bible has been right all along on spanking and that when we get away from it, we will have BAD CONSEQUENCES in our homes and nation. (Of course they haven't seen all the truth the Bible gives us - they still want us to accept unbiblical life styles, etc. (And our nation will reap THE BAD CONSEQUENCE OF THAT ALSO.)

Younger women - please remember: Discipline is not "slapping a kid when angry"; "shaking a baby when frustrated"; "beating him on the head or back"; etc. Discipline is controlled correction given in order to train him. If you aren't self-disciplined yourself (can't control your own spirit or actions) you will not be a very good example as a teacher/trainer. Take a belt, a rod, your hand, a peach tree limb, or something, and apply it (calmly & firmly) to the well-padded rear end of the child. It hurts, but does not damage.

AN EXAMPLE of TRAINING very small children: Leave some things unbreakable (& not valuable) on your coffee table. When your baby begins pulling himself to a standing position, he WILL try to pick these items up. Tell him NO, (in a calm, clear voice) and move the object just a little further away from him (so he gets the connection between the NO and the object). If he picks it up, tell him NO again, slap his wrist or hand and take the object away from him but put it back on the table, within his reach. If he picks it up again, repeat this procedure. Then, if he reaches out to pick it up, tell him NO, firmly & clearly. He should by now understand enough to pause and look at you. If he keeps going for it, tell him NO again and slap his wrist or hand. Most children will by now make the connection between the NO and the object and the pain. If they are slow-learners, YOU must be as strong willed as they are until they DO learn to STOP when you say NO.

The word NO is the most important rule they learn. It is the building block on all the rest of your training. It can save their life when you see danger & they don't, but ONLY if they are TRAINED to stop whatever they are doing when they hear you say NO. This is my idea of spanking a small child. It hurts, but is not cruel, and it has an important goal. This is JUST THE BEGINNING though. Even YOUR child is not born good with the need to be taught to do bad; he is born with a sinful nature, and has the need to be taught to do right. Therefore, it is a time-consuming, never-ending job. And the goal? Self-discipline and obedience. It is a THANKLESS, difficult job - and your kids will even go through a time of "hating" you for it. But, if you LOVE THEM, you will chasten them. Just trust God in this matter.

Another quote: "If you say no, stick to it. Letting a child have his own way after crying and whining tells him he can get ahead by making other people's lives miserable. It teaches him that fussing works. A bad lesson. The child who whines, interrupts, and does nothing he is told has not the least power of attraction for anyone." - Emily Post

Moms - no one likes a whiny, rude child - and no one will like the whiny, rude adult he will become. YOU are responsible not to let that happen. Good manners are like traffic rules: necessary for things to go smoothly.

TRUE CONFESSION TIME: Did I have perfect children? Of course not. NO ONE HAS EVER HAD A PERFECT CHILD except Mary the mother of Jesus. But, we took by FAITH that what GOD SAYS is the only safe way to order our lives, and we did our best to follow HIS teachings on this. My children are human - therefore sinful and prone to be rebellious, and yet I am SURE that we went the right way in our goals of training - not that we always did what we should, but we knew what was the best way to follow. And we TRIED. Sometimes miserably, but ALWAYS with prayers for mercy. And we thank Him for granting us mercy.

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in TRUTH." 3 Jn. 4

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

QUESTION & ANSWER PARAGRAPH: Q: What rules did you have for your teenagers?

A: We did not let our kids:

  1. drink, do drugs, smoke, or chew tobacco

  2. wear short shorts, mini-skirts or bikinis

  3. go to dances, use foul language, or play cards with a poker deck

  4. participate in activities that would keep them from Sunday or Wednesday services

Did we think they would be happy about these rules? No, we knew they'd resent and question them. Did we naively think they'd always obey them? No, we knew that their sinful nature and the natural inclination to rebel that all teenagers have would push them to disobey (and even vow to themselves that they'd never be that mean to their kids). BUT, if they ended up DOING any of the these things, it would be behind our backs with the full, clear knowledge that WE thought they were not good things for them to be doing - and that if we found out about it, the punishment was sure. Did we lose out in the long run? Oh, they still have resentments and they may think we were too strict - but on the whole they turned out to be pretty nice adults. Obeying these rules did not harm them or their life or their testimony. I do not regret any of these rules, and would do the same if I had it to do over again. Teenagers will not like whatever rule you make, so you may as well make some really good ones. (Good for THEM, I mean.) Love them - it's the greatest thing to do.

My kids all believed in Jesus and FINALLY came to see on their own that GOD's way was better than the WORLD's way of living their life. We might not agree in every detail what exactly God's will IS in certain areas, but we do agree that GOD is RIGHT - and to follow HIS WORD on ANY subject is the safest and best thing to do. THIS brings me great peace.

BOOKS RECOMMENDED BY OTHERS: Words by Heart by Oida Sebestyen

Secret of Nimh and A Wrinkle in Time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LOVE your husband: When you retire you will probably spend 24 hours a day with him, and may do so for many years. It would help immensely and make life very pleasurable if he is the most interesting friend you have. START TODAY and work on that.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

WHAT I KNOW ABOUT TEENAGERS: "If mom wants me to wear it, mine has to look drastically different". "If mom doesn't want me doing it, it must be something fun or something that would make me happier if I did it."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Pleasure in being praised is not pride. The saved soul to whom Christ says, "Well done" is pleased and ought to be. Here the pleasure lies not in what you are but in the fact that you have pleased someone you wanted (and rightly wanted) to please. The trouble with pride is when you pass from, "I'm so glad to have pleased the Lord - to thinking, "What a fine person I must be to have done it." When you delight in yourself and not the praise, that is the danger. - C.S. Lewis

=================================================

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ONE OF THESE HOURS THE LORD IS COMING!~

##  October 1999

For Women Only .....from an aged woman....

Titus 2:2-4: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women to:

1) Be Sober: Think soberly about improving something in yourself. I once tried to see if I could be as the woman in Proverbs 31, "in whose tongue was the law of kindness". Well, I never totally won that battle, but I did become SOBERLY aware of how little kindness I had in my tongue, and I keep SOBERLY trying to improve.

2) Love Your Husband: The very next time you see him, stop whatever you are doing; get everything out of your hands, walk slowly up to him with a smile, put your arms around his neck, give him the sexiest "hello" you can, and kiss him on the mouth, long and hard.

3) Love Your Children: Play a board game with them tonight, or basketball, or croquet.

4) BE DISCREET: Check your dictionary on this word. It means to be prudent; to distinguish; to discern; to deal thoughtfully; to be wise in avoiding evil; not rash; wary; careful; exercising sound judgment in practical matters; circumspect; sensible; cautious in conduct; etc.

I would imagine that every woman who receives this, would like to be DISCREET. This means you need to SOBERLY consider what the consequences might be of ANYTHING you do. Read the book of Proverbs and heed its warnings. Read the Epistles and heed the warnings, exhortations & commandments given to Christians; and ponder about why God would give them to you.

The N.T. principle is: "Be not deceived,.........you WILL reap what you sow." Is your marriage in a mess? You are reaping what you've both sown. Is your marriage a joy and a source of much contentment? You are reaping what you've both sown. GOD WANTS ALL marriages to be blessed and He has given you His wisdom as to what seeds would be RIGHT to sow.

\- KINDNESS is a good seed. BITTERNESS is a bad seed.

\- A SOFT ANSWER is a good seed. RAILING FOR RAILING is bad seed.

\- HUMBLENESS is a good seed. PRIDE is a bad seed.

Don't blame your unhappy life on God, or on others (i.e. your husband). Blame it on yourself and humbly go to God, asking Him to HELP you dig out all the bad seeds possible; and then - quit planting them. Start now to plant good ones in their place. If you are DISCREET - you'll sow good seed, because you have dealt SOBERLY with your situation and you see the need of being wise in avoiding evil harvests. HARVESTS ALWAYS COME - either good or bad.

BE DISCREET: You'll have budgets to plan (how much to give to the Lord?). As a DISCREET woman, you'll give generously and cheerfully, remembering you reap what you sow. You'll have meals to plan and cook. You'll have rooms to clean. You may have yard work to do. You'll have clothes to wash and dry, and fold or hang, & so-on. You'll have to budget your time, just as you budget your money. Have you made a commitment to budget time for the Lord? Not only are all your possessions His, but your time is His also. He could take ALL OF IT AWAY in a heartbeat. Thank God He hasn't, and give Him the priority He asks. If you are DISCREET, you'll want to put eternal things above worldly matters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions and Answers : Why did you choose the rules you set for your teenagers? You surely didn't think these things were sin?

NO - it is GOD who has set the rules on sin. You as a Christian parent need to BE SURE your children know what SIN is and what God says about it. God has made it very plain as to what sin is. God says idolatry is sin. Stealing is sin. Lying is sin. Adultery is sin. Fornication is sin. Covetousness is sin. Drunkenness is sin. Homosexuality is sin. Taking His name in vain is sin. You need to find the scriptures that teach what sin is (one of them says that knowing to do good and not doing it is sin) and teach them diligently to your children. (I've just listed a few.)

NO - we were NOT setting rules against SIN. God had already done that. WE WERE SETTING RULES FOR LIFESTYLES. We knew that all of the things we were prohibiting, would contribute to or promote a sinful lifestyle - or at the very least, a worldly lifestyle - which we did not want for our kids.

We knew that the adolescent years are when lifelong addictions are likely to be started. We did not want our kids addicted to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, cursing, or even tobacco. We wanted them to be addicted to attending church and serving the Lord.

We knew that worldly music, movies, books, TV, new-age philosophies, their own hearts, their peers, and Satan would encourage them to TRY all these things; and we wanted to prevent them from going into lifestyles which would be harmful to THEM. THAT is why we made those rules.

The BIBLE says: "Flee youthful lusts." "Flee fornication." We hoped to help our children do those two things by our rules. Most addicts - no matter what the addiction - started when they were teenagers. So my advice would be to BE DISCREET: be wise in helping your children avoid evil; exercise sound judgment in practical matters.

No drugs - most of you agree with this rule. But some of you question one or more of the rest. Drinking, drugs, dances, immodest clothing; all of these promote promiscuity. They aren't the CAUSE of promiscuity (our sinful hearts are the cause) but they do promote it. All of the rest are ADDICTIVE, and WHY would we ALLOW or encourage our own kids to get involved in anything addictive that has bad results/harvests? (The rule against poker cards was because Lyndell had been hooked on gambling and did not want them in his house, and certainly did not want his kids hooked on gambling.)

Seductive clothing? I tried to teach my kids not to flaunt their bodies. If a man really loved his wife, he would not want her flaunting her body, and inspiring lusts in other men. If all a man wants is a beautiful body to hang onto his arm and show off to the world, he's a dangerous man to marry. When time and age change her body, he'll look for another one.

A woman's body is the most eye-catching thing in the world. If you don't believe this, just ask any advertiser, movie director, or book-cover artist. For my children to dress in a way they knew would arouse lust would not only be wrong - it would be dangerous. God uses the term "modest apparel". Well, I wanted my children to not only BE modest, but to act modestly and dress modestly. And I am certainly aware that the term 'modest' is VERY OLD FASHIONED, -- but SCRIPTURAL.

Did we EVER let them wear shorts? Yes, they wore walking shorts sometimes at home and when camping, etc.. When they were in P.E. or sports at school they wore the uniforms. We searched DILIGENTLY for decent swimwear, and then we asked them to put something over it when they were out of the water. We were trying to instill a pattern for them to follow, that would encourage a Godly lifestyle if at all possible, and not be a stumbling block to others.

It was LIFESTYLES we were concerned about. If we could keep them from starting the wrong lifestyle while they were with us (out of honor for us, or fear of us) we felt THEY would be the winners. Human nature has enough problems with sin without flirting with it. If we never drink, we won't become a drunkard. If we never "do" drugs, we won't be druggies. The same for gambling, smoking, pornography, etc. If we understand the temptations men face with lust, we should have some concern about arousing their lusts. Our rules were also meant to teach self-discipline. If they could learn to say no to friends as teenagers, it would be easier to say no as adults.

After they left our house, if they went ahead and got into the kind of lifestyle we desired to prevent - we and they would be losers, but it wouldn't be because WE approved or allowed that lifestyle. Our approach was that we would rather our kids feel they had missed out on something in life that they might have enjoyed, than that they had enjoyed something that had damaged their life. I still feel that was being DISCREET.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RECOMMENDED BOOKS - (These are from Elsa Slanger & by Christian authors)

GROWING UP GOD'S WAY by John A. Stormer (For parents)

GOD'S WILL FOR MY BODY by John Coblentz (For adolescents)

I KISSED DATING GOODBYE by Joshua Harris (for young adults)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A quote for WIVES: "A marriage is a relationship between man and woman that may last 50-60 years. Children will come and go, but the marriage should remain strong. Put the needs of your husband ahead of the children. If you put your children first - the children become demanding, the husband frustrated and the wife frenzied. The health of the home will perish. The new mother must be watchful that the true value of her life, which is her marriage, isn't marred." - A.N.N.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Money cannot buy your real needs: It can buy food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; knowledge, but not wisdom; glitter, but not beauty; fun, but not joy; acquaintances, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; leisure, but not peace; religious approval, but not salvation."

ONE NEEDLESS, TRAGIC DISABILITY IN LIFE IS A BAD ATTITUDE!

===========================================

SUM UP YOUR NEEDS: "Having food and raiment, let us therewith be content." (The Bible)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Parents should know how important it is when you reprove your children that they should see that you do it from the best of motives; for their benefit, because you wish them to be good, and not because you are angry. Just so with young converts. Us older Christians (older in the Lord) should admonish the new Christians when needed, but not in an abrupt, harsh or censorious manner. Kindness and tenderness, even in reproof will win their confidence and give an influence to your brotherly instructions and counsels. Kindly point out things that are faulty in the young convert, which he may not see. Make it and them a matter of much prayer, and make him feel that you love him, seek his good, and earnestly desire to promote his usefulness and happiness. - Chas. Finney

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More quotes from Finney:

" HE WHO FEELS NOTHING & DOES NOTHING, BELIEVES NOTHING."

"There are a great many epicures in the churches, who are all the while seeking to be happy in religion, while they are taking very little pains to be useful."

"Christians should live so that if they should sin it would be an inconsistency, an exception, an individual case, in which they act contrary to the FIXED AND GENERAL PURPOSE AND TENOR of their lives."

"Children raised under the best of circumstances, in a home of love and security, are nonetheless inclined to selfish domination and independent action against the rule of law." – Michael Pearl

**********************************

##  November 1999

For Women ONLY ........From Verlene Kincaid....... an aged woman...........

Titus 2:2-4: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women to:

Be Sober: Do you know what kept me from drinking as a teenager? I didn't want to wake up some morning and wonder what I had done the night before.

Love Your Husband: "charity......is KIND (1 Cor. 13:4). Were you kind to your husband this morning? Were you kind to him yesterday? Last week? Last month? Last year? When he thinks of you does he think of you as kind? One of the things I remember about my in-laws: They were KIND one to another. And they had a good marriage. They celebrated their 50th anniversary just before he died. By being kind, they showed their love for each other.

Love Your Children: You can be KIND even when you are firm. Lyndell often prayed with the kids just before or just after the spanking, confessing his own failures and asking God to help ALL of us (as a family) to please Him and obey Him in word and in deed. C. S. Lewis makes this observation: "A doting mother may be tempted by natural affection to "spoil" her child; that is, to gratify her own affectionate impulses at the expense of the child's real happiness later on." She may seem kind, but she really isn't. Be kind, but don't spoil.

Be Discreet: I have found the 'path of least resistance' is the EASIEST way to go when it comes to almost anything; like sin, diet, exercise, housework, discipline of children, etc. The EASIEST is very seldom the best. If you do not wish to be entangled in wrong company or lifestyles, learn to resist the BEGINNINGS of temptation. THIS IS BEING DISCREET.

BE CHASTE: OK! HERE WE GO! This is REALLY an old fashioned word.

The dictionary definition of this word:

a) Pure from all unlawful commerce of sexes.

b) Abstaining from sexual intercourse that is condemned by religion or morality.

c) Abstaining from any willful acts or thoughts that are likely to lead to it's occurrence.

d) Free from lewdness, obscenity, indecency, suggestiveness, or offensiveness.

e) Modest, decent, uncorrupt, without spot, not sullied or tarnished, holy, free from moral defilement.

f) Free of connection or association with anything sordid, crass, impure, or outof woman's lib" movement encouraged women to engage in 'free love', not ever telling anyone that it wsn't really free'. Many modern girls do not consider "chaste" to be an option, or to be desired. They have decided the values of this world are more important than old-fashioned Bible values. But when (and if) they come to love Jesus and want to honor His Name, they'll regret that they weren't chaste. Other things (like sexually transmitted diseases, babis out of wedlock, etc.) may also make them regret it. GOD SAYS we need to teach our younger women to be CHASTE (and to be chaste ourselves). Are you chaste?

Question & Answer Paragraph: This question was not put to me, but to one of the ladies in our church: "Why do you feel you always have to be 'doing' as a Christian; why can't you just 'be'?

How would you respond to that? The truth HAS to be told: The person who asked such a question has either not read the Epistles or is choosing to ignore half of the verses they have read.

THEY ARE FEASTING ON THE PROMISES,

WHILE SITTING ON THEIR PREMISES,

NOT CARING AT ALL WHO PERISHES.

Just look at the ACTION verbs (the 'do' words) in the Epistles (which are written to

the CHURCHES, by the way). If you are not 'doing' anything it's because you are ignorant, or

rebellious, or careless, or selfish (probably all three).

read): "He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me." (John 14:

21 and 15) That thought is repeated several times and is also in the Epistles. (1 John 1:3-6;

5:3; 2nd John 6).

How's THAT for JUST 'BEING'? Don't tell me you love Jesus if you just want to "BE"; I'll doubt your word before I question His.

Oh yes, the promises are wonderful and marvelous, and I can feast daily at that table and totally rest in his love and security. But then to say, "Lord not I" when he speaks of duty & warfare & preaching & teaching & witnessing & laboring & giving & praying & forgiving & abstaining & fleeing & well doing & submitting & suffering & watching & resisting & having a good conscience & having good works? I checked out just a few words (8) that were about"doing" and I find that those words appear 432 times from Romans to Revelation. This is NOT COUNTING the word works when it is used in connection with people trying to earn their salvation, only when used clearly for those already saved. The word LET is used 147 times.

Get out your concordance and just read every verse that says LET (followed by something

you need to be doing or not doing). VERY INTERESTING READING. Salvation CANNOT be earned - that is very clear in the New Testament; but AFTER being saved God works IN YOU to "DO".

While we are on this subject here is a quote from Spurgeon (who is a GRACE preacher):

"Some persons cannot hear an exhortation without at once crying out that we are legal. Such persons will always find this Tabernacle the wrong place for them to feed in. We are delighted to preach good high doctrine, and to insist upon it that salvation is of grace alone; but we are equally delighted to preach good high practice and to insist upon it that grace which does not make a man better than his neighbors, is a grace which will never take him to heaven, nor render him acceptable before God." (found in his sermon, "The Gospel's Power in a Christian's Life.- Phil. 1:27)

=========================================

Just a thought on the books I've recommended: There is JUST ONE BOOK you can absolutely trust every word in it - that is THE BIBLE. The SCRIPTURES are God's words and are without error. BUT, when you read even God's BEST preachers, you must be on the alert; they are not infallible and there will be errors in their ideas, their doctrines, or in something. The authors I've recommended are simply human beings - you cannot trust their writings the same as you can the Bible. There is something I disagree with in every book or author I recommend. YOU need to know your Bible so well that you can identify anything that disagrees with it. That is why you need to read your Bible completely through over and over again. Sometimes I am reading a book and in the back of my mind I think to myself, "there is something wrong in what he is saying, but I'm not exactly sure what it is" and later on I'll recall scripture that clears up what was wrong with it. But my mind gives me a red flag and I know enough to check it out. I believe God uses different people to bless us in different ways but we must never esteem them too highly. Always question everyone but God. Don't just accept what I say, or what your pastor says, or what an author says, etc. ALWAYS check it out with Scripture.

Ruckman believes differently than I do on segregation, but I can ignore that and enjoy his grasp of scripture; his knowledge of history, current writers and current events; his wit and his sarcasm. on the translators. Elisabeth Elliot uses modern versions - I ignore that and read her verses in my own King James Bible. C. S. Lewis, Spurgeon, Finney, etc. all have things I disagreewith but they have blessed me tremendously nevertheless. I can agree to disagree with many people whom God has used and blessed. Read and be blessed by other books - but TRUST ONLY GOD'S INSPIRED SCRIPTURES.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

News from Mexico: 40 preachers (from the churches associated with our missionaries) assembled in Celaya for a preachers conference. Pray much for these preachers - Satan would devour them if he could. In Morelia there were five adults baptized in September and they have 4 (maybe more by now) waiting to be baptized. Keep praying for our missionaries in Poland - they desire souls for their labor. Women, "if you felt how much the preachers need wisdom to do the duties of their office with success, and how insufficient they are of themselves, you would pray for them a great deal more than you do. People often find fault with preachers, when they do not pray for them." - Charles Finney

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

SOME OF YOU are getting this paper for the first time. So many of the ladies I was mailing to asked if I would add someone to my mailing list, that I was perplexed (this was all at my own expense, as an offering to the Lord). Lyndell discussed it with the other pastors of our church and they decided that it would be ok to mail it out from the Lyndell Kincaid Evangelistic Association, since it was a pastor's wife's newsletter. Therefore, I added your names to my list. It is written mainly for the ladies in my own assembly and you may not like it. If you don't want to receive this, please just return it by writing REFUSED on the front, and * sending it back.

*********************************

Well, I received my notice to report for Jury duty in October. On the summons it said:

"Proper attire required: NO SHORTS".

And some people get upset that we say the same thing at our church, ha!

\------------------------------------------------------------------

IT'S REALLY GREAT TO BE A GRANDMA - your kids finally realize that you've always loved them the way they love their children.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

ALWAYS tell the truth. Even then, anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. (SNP)

\------------------------------------------------------------------

GOOD & EVIL both increase at compound interest. That is why the 'little' decisions we make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today will strengthen us to do better tomorrow. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today will enable us to do worse tomorrow.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

'Tis better to be alone than in bad company.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TO IMPROVE A CHILD'S MANNERS WE MUST IMPROVE OUR OWN FIRST.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#  2000

## January 2000

For Women ONLY ........From Verlene Kincaid....... an aged woman........... Jan. 2000

Titus 2:2-4: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women to:

BE SOBER: WHY? You have an ENEMY. (The Bible tells you so.) Satan WANTS you.

Is your marriage in trouble? He's licking his lips.

Have you lost your joy? He wants you for breakfast and your kids for lunch.

He's walking about seeking whom he may DEVOUR!!!

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND: "Charity SUFFERS LONG and is kind..." (1 Cor. 13) Are you presently suffering? Have you been suffering long? THAT'S WHAT LOVE DOES. Don't give up on him now; trust God and suffer long. God suffers long with us and he wants us to be longsuffering with our husbands.

LOVE YOUR CHILDREN: STAY MARRIED - THEY NEED THEIR FATHER.

Here is one quote (among many I could use) from a divorced mom - J. Goodall:

"Divorce is a problem for ANY child. It would have been better for my son if I hadn't divorced. That was a failure. I FAILED MY SON."

What can happen when dad is absent: 70% of the men now in prison grew up without a father. (Parade Magazine, 6/6/99) Children with only one parent in the home are twice as likely to drop out of school and 2.5 times as likely to become teenage mothers. They're less likely to make the honor roll, less likely to finish college, more likely to get in trouble with the law, and less likely to establish stable relationships. Also all of the other good advice about raising children (spending time with them; supervising television & computer time; monitoring their whereabouts, etc.) is MUCH easier with two parents in the home.

BE DISCREET: There are four things you can do when the Holy Spirit works in you to "will and to do of His good pleasure". You can RESIST. You can QUENCH. You can GRIEVE. You can YIELD. If you yield, you will bear His fruit: "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance". (Ph.2:13; Acts 7:51; 1 Th.5:19; Eph.4:30; Rom.6:12-22; Gal.5:22-25)

BE CHASTE: Here is the Bible Principle: Before marriage - no sex at all. After marriage, all the sex you want, but only with your own husband.

BE KEEPERS AT HOME: I didn't say this - God did. If you have a controversy about it, it's with God and not with me, nor your pastor, nor your husband. Either you believe God's Word or you don't. Either you can trust God or you can't. But please don't get mad at me for quoting what God has said. "What more can He say, than to you He has said?"

LADIES, if you are the sole provider (due to your own mistakes or to circumstancesbeyond your control) and it is totally up to you to provide food and raiment for your household; and there is no way you can do this at home, then of course, you must provide for your family.

BUT LADIES, never take God's words to you lightly. My question is: You are working outside of the home for other reasons and you expect God's blessings? On your home? On your children? On your marriage? Don't be presumptuous, is my plea to you. You cannot \- let me repeat this - you cannot go stiffnecked against God's revealed will in your life and expect him to bless your rebellion. I will guarantee that if you follow God's clear directives (as far as is humanly possible) you will NOT lose in the LONG RUN. Oh, you may not eat gourmet foods, or wear designer clothes. You may live in a smaller, cheaper house, and drive a second-hand car. You may be without all the modern appliances and trinkets. BUT, if you are being a keeper at home by FAITH, trusting God to take care of you - you will be blessed. But never confuse the WORLD's BLESSINGS with GOD's BLESSINGS. They are usually very different.

Some words here to wives who have no children at home: I honestly believe God is talking here in these verses to married women with children, because He has just dealt with loving your husband and loving your children. I could be wrong, but this is what I think. For one reason, he deals elsewhere with women being idle and becoming busy-bodies, etc. I personally know women who stay home, but waste time on soap-operas or many other things. I would say that if you have no children in the home, you might at least want to work part-time, help your husband get an education, do volunteer work at church /hospital /nursing home, or whatever may be needed for you to do in order not to be idle, or busybodies. BUT, keep in mind what I mentioned in another lesson, about how HARD it is to work outside of the home (even without children) and have to come home to a dirty house and a meal to cook. When both of the people in the home work, some things have to give with that kind of schedule, and the chances are it will be your marriage.

Secular studies show that most drug and sex experimentation happens between the hours of three and six in the afternoon - after the kids are home from school, and before mom gets home from work; when there is no "keeper at home". Do you know what I believe? I think God told you to be a keeper at home because He wants good things for your life and your family's life. The FACTS are that when 80-90% of the wives with children were "keepers at home", there was less divorce, less drug addiction, fewer unwed teenage moms, less juvenile delinquency, and the list could go on and on......! Do you HONESTLY think this is coincidence?

I hear some of you saying: "Oh, come on now, Mrs. Kincaid. You've got to live in this present (evil?) world. MODERN women don't stay home with the kids anymore. They get nannies, day-care, neighbors, or grandparents to raise their children." Yes, I do understand. BUT, I'm NOT TOLD to teach you what is right in your own eyes, or the world's eyes, I'm told to teach you to be "keepers at home". I don't know how you interpret these words, but they don't mean "keepers at the office". Many modern women do a great job at the office and flunk out as a wife and mother. They care about satisfying their boss, and disregard satisfying their husband. When you put money, pleasure, self-satisfaction, houses, lands, cars, boats (or whatever) ahead of obeying a simple direction from God, I would say to you: "Beware - reaping time is coming." Trust God and obey his teaching - He knows better than you.

Some of you who receive this have already made your mistakes and you are presently working because you are divorced, and your husband does not support you or the children. My advice? Fall down on your face before the Lord and plead for mercy, and for the strength to be both breadwinner and Godly parent. Every day, ask God for mercy and strength.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

QUESTION & ANSWER PARAGRAPH: What would you do if your teenager talked back to you?

I would have never allowed them to get away with it. If they sassed me, there would have been SERIOUS consequences. For one thing, I was blessed with a husband who would not have put up with it for a moment. He insisted they pay respect and honor to their mother. That helps! BUT, even without his help - if it ever happened, I would immediately tell them: "All right, I will NOT allow this in my home. You are not going ANYWHERE except to school and church for one week. If you do it again, there will be harsher consequences." AND I WOULD HAVE STUCK TO THAT DECISION.

If you get soft hearted and allow them to go to a neighbors, or to a friends, or to the football game, or wherever it is they are begging you, (with tears and pleading, and "I"m sorry", etc.) - YOU have lost the battle and they WILL sass you again, because you did not earn their respect. I don't care if it is a "big" event in their life - they MUST live with the consequences of their ugly mouth. Once may do it, but if not, the NEXT time they sassed, it would be two weeks, or so on until the sassing ceased. Even if it was a date with "prince charming" or their best friend's birthday party, THEY WOULD NOT GO. They would learn the lesson that they DON'T WANT to talk back to their mom - EVER! Oh, they may WANT TO, but they DON'T WANT the consequences. They may even do it in the privacy of their room where mom can't hear, but they would not want to pay the cost of doing it openly. It would HURT too much, and therefore NOT BE WORTH THE DOING.

If you have allowed them to disrespect you and disobey you in the past, you may have a slow process ahead of you. I would sit them down first and tell them: "I have failed you in letting you get away with this in the past. But starting TODAY - if you do this, you will be on restriction for one week, etc. Explain the rule and the consequence, and ask them if they understand the rule. If they say yes, ask them if they understand the consequence. From then on - IT IS UP TO YOU TO STICK TO THE RULE AND TO BE SURE THEY REAP THE CONSEQUENCE.

By the way, a mother who tells her husband to shut up and a father who calls a neighbor a jerk are likely to hear their children speak the same way to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOW MAYBE IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, SINCE WE OPTED OUT OF DENOMINATIONS A LONG TIME AGO, but here are a few of my thoughts on some current events.

The Lutherans and the Catholics have signed an agreement that Luther was right and the Catholics were wrong - salvation is by faith alone. That sounds good, but faith in what? In their creeds? Faith in Jesus' blood for the remission of sins? One thing not made clear was whether it was an eternally secure salvation or not. Do they still have to do penance or go to purgatory to pay for their sins? Do they still have to have masses said to help them get out? Did they agree that Jesus' death on the cross was a once for all sacrifice and no more sacrifices ever need be made? Did they agree that bowing to images is idolatry, which is sin? Did the Lutherans agree that Luther was wrong when he proclaimed that Jesus Christ was the ONLY mediator between God and man? Did they agree that Luther was wrong about the Pope? That he was wrong when he stood firm that the Holy Scriptures are a Christian's ONLY authority for faith and practice? What compromises have been made? And by whom?

While I'm on this subject of the ONLY authority a Christian has being the Holy Scriptures, what are Texas Southern Baptists saying when they refuse to accept that a wife should be in submission to her husband? Are they saying they can vote against the words in Scripture and become their own final authority? If so, then they are at the mercy of whoever is in control of their group. They can now vote that fornication, homosexuality and lesbianism are ok; or that Jesus is not the ONLY Saviour; or that Allah is the same God as Jehovah; and so on.

If we take away our one clear, final authority, then there is no such thing as absolute truth and everyone will do and say what is right in their own eyes. This is EXACTLY where preachers have told us we'd be when we accepted new versions and gave up our good old KJV; which just HAPPENS (?) to be the sword the Holy Spirit chose to use. WE pick our own authority, and thus have NO AUTHORITY.

Well, the final authority given to us by God, tells us this will happen, but it grieves me that it happens to people who should know better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If Jesus was like a modern day "churchanity" pictures him, why was he mistaken for the three roughest, crudest, rudest characters in the Bible: John the Baptist; Jeremiah; and Elijah (Mt. 16:14)?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EVERYTHING YOU DO SHOULD BE ESTIMATED BY HOW IT WILL AFFECT CHRIST'S CAUSE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There ought to be some things we should like to do and cannot do because our giiving to the Lord's work excludes them." - C. S. Lewis

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JESUS CHRIST IS LORD and in all things He should have the preeminence.

##  February 2000

For Women Only..........from Verlene Kincaid, an aged woman.

Titus 2:2-4: The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women to:

Be sober, love their husband, love their children, be discreet, chaste, keepers at home............

I started this series last February and I haven't gotten very far, but I have covered the above topics just a little. I hope you have said AMEN to His Word. You can have great peace if you say: "God said it. I believe it. THAT SETTLES IT."

These things we've covered are GOOD THINGS; God says so through the mouth of the Apostle Paul. He also says you need to put them into practice or else the Word of God will be blasphemed (Tit. 2:4). There is more to learn, but I want to digress from these two verses this month. Some of you have said Amen to His Word. You know what you should be doing, but you say you try and keep failing. You have an honest and sincere heart and the Word of God has fallen on good ground; you truly want to please Jesus and do these things.

THIS MONTH I'd like us to think on Romans 6,7 & 8, Phil 2:13 and the Apostle Peter. Remember Peter in the gospels? He honestly wanted to serve and please Jesus, but he often failed. It was only after he was filled with the Holy Spirit that he had the power to overcome.

If we walk in the flesh - trying to succeed ONLY by our will power, we'll often fail. But if we seek God's face and ask HIM to strengthen us, we can DO (there's that little word again) ALL THINGS (Phil. 2:13). That is His promise to us. We need to walk in the Spirit to not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. By faith trust Him to strengthen you in the inner man, and therefore give you the victory in the outer man.

Consider the Book of Romans. Chapters 1-5 deal with salvation and how we are saved. Chapter 6 deals with what we were and what we are now. We WERE servants of sin, but NOW are become the servants of righteousness. In Chapter 7, he shows how we serve: in newness of spirit. The law is holy and just and good (v. 12) and spiritual (v. 14). We, as Christians, find ourselves delighting in that law after the inward man (v. 22) and consenting that it is good (v. 16). To will is present with us (we really want to obey); but how to perform, we find not (we keep failing). We see our wretchedness and we wonder how to be delivered (v. 24). BUT WE CAN THANK GOD that VICTORY COMES through Jesus Christ our Lord (v. 25).

This victory comes because we walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit (Rom. 8:1-14); because we are not carnally minded, but spiritually minded (Rom. 8:5-9); because we yield to Christ (Rom. 6:13-16) and trust HIM to STRENGTHEN us (Rom. 8:11-13 & Phil. 2:13). We need to walk in the spirit and trust Christ to give us the strength to do all the things which He clearly tells us we, as Christians, should be doing. He promises us He can give us the power, just as He is already working in us to will and to do.

CONFUSING? Well, yes it can be. But by God's grace (remember he gives grace to the HUMBLE) we CAN have victory. Salvation comes BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH and SO DOES VICTORY. You are in a "CAN DO" mode when you rely on Him to strengthen you. The Spirit which dwells in us will always say yes to righteousness. The sin which dwells in us will always say no to righteousness. Is our first reaction to God's Word, "Yes, I need to do that", or is it "No, I'll not do that"? This will help us see to whom we are yielding. Have you already yielded to the Holy Spirit by agreeing that you need to be DOING these things taught in Titus 2:2-4? Then KEEP yielding, stay humble, and ask Him for strength. This is the way to victory.

OK - we know what the words say, but we don't see how to practically "be there". Well, here is one example: God says, "Be chaste." Before you were married, if you stayed a virgin that was part of being chaste. But did you tell or laugh at dirty jokes? Did you fill your mind with vulgar books, songs or movies? Did you peek & snicker at pornographic magazines, etc. That was NOT being chaste, even if your body had not yet been defiled. BUT NOW, you want to obey; you WANT to be chaste in your body AND in your mind. How? When someone tells a dirty joke, yield to the Spirit and walk away. When the book or movie turns vulgar, yield to the Spirit and leave it. When the handsome guy flirts with you, let him know you are a married woman and don't flirt back. If you yield to the flesh, thinking that none of these things will hurt you, you may end up being unchaste in more than your mind. Walk not after the flesh, but yield to the Spirit.

Here is something Elisabeth Elliot writes in her book Discipline, the Glad Surrender: "I put myself gladly, fully, and forever at His disposal, and to whatever He says, my answer is yes. If deep in our hearts, we suspect that God does not love us and cannot manage our affairs as well as we can, we will certainly not yield to His direction. We must start disciplining ourselves and trust Him to help us with our decision to obey Him. He does not make all the moves for us, we have things we do on our own."

God gives us instructions. Our move is to do what has to be done in order to obey them.

May God give you the strength to make that move. Trust Him. What is the one thing you notice in Hebrews 11 when He speaks of His people of faith? They obeyed. And you have more than they had - you have the Holy Spirit in you to help you. May God bless you as you surrender gladly to whatever He says.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"They who fain would serve Him best

Are conscious most of wrong within."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some things I wish I would have done as a young woman:

\- I wish I would have prayed more.

\- I wish I would have given more fun time to my kids. I wish I would have held them more, cuddled them more, read to them more, played games with them more. We are "too soon old and too late smart" as a friend of ours used to tell us. Now, don't get me wrong; I DID all of those things, but I should have done them more. They grow up too fast, and I was often "too tired". Give your kids all the time they want - before they don't want it anymore.

\- I wish I would have put more time into my music. I never disciplined myself to truly learn to play. I can type the organ/piano fairly well, but really play? No, I can't. I can pick out almost any song (if I have the notes in front of me) - but my left hand is almost useless. I encourage you to spend that half hour every day to really learn something you enjoy.

Mark Twain voiced the opinion: "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Question & Answer Section: Question: What do you think about dating?

Answer: This is a hard one. I realize there are 4 billion different ideas on this subject, but since I was asked for my opinion, I will share it here.

Some people do not think dating is a good idea, but I think the right kind of dating is a necessary thing. When I was a teenager, the idea that a girl should be chaste was still the predominant thinking among the teenagers I knew. Therefore, it wasn't as hard to tell a boy "no" when he wanted more than kisses. I realize that in this day and age, unsaved boys expect sex as a part of dating, and many saved boys are confused by the morality of their times. Therefore, you parents are right to be more careful. But, a young man and a young woman need to get to know each other. They need to have time to TALK to each other. They need to tell each other their dreams, their goals, their likes and dislikes; they need to discuss their families, their problems, their desires about serving Jesus, etc.

It should be a granted that Christians date Christians, since this is a scriptural teaching. We advise young people to date several people to whom they are attracted. Now this was the accepted thing when I was young. You dated different boys until you found one you really enjoyed being around. Then, you started going "steady" - not dating any other boy except him. If this grew into more than just liking, you would then get "engaged". If it all worked out, you married. I have been told this is not the accepted way in this day and age. (Evidently a girl gets insulted if a boy dates her one week and another girl the next week.) But, to me, our way was a very good method of getting to know different people. How do you know you want to go "steady" with someone unless you get to know them better; and what simpler way to get to know them better, than to go places with them? That is all a date should be - going someplace with someone, and spending some casual time with them. It should not be a commitment to not date a different person next week.

We encourage a boy to ask a girl out for a soda; for a walk in the park or the zoo; to play miniature golf; to go on a picnic, a bicycle ride, sailing at the lake; or any other simple, inexpensive date. If possible, get several friends and their dates to go along with you. Avoid places that put you in situations of temptation. You are only wanting to find out if you like each other and have things in common or not. Sometimes your personalities will not hit it off, and that does not mean the other person is not a great person. All it means is, that although you are attracted to her, you and she have different likes and goals, or some such thing. That was what the dating was for!

My advice to you if you are a parent of teenagers and you don't want them dating: have parties. YOU plan them. YOU encourage them. Invite all the teenagers in the assembly to come to your house for some volleyball, some other games, or whatever. Feed them something inexpensive and give them a chance to get to know each other. Don't wait around for someone else to plan them. Make the initiative yourself. Be your own 'youth activities' director and chaperone. Who could be better qualified?

\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + \+ + + + + + +

WE, WHO FOLLOW A SAVIOUR WHO WAS DESPISED AND REJECTED, CRINGE FROM BEING MISUNDERSTOOD AND MISJUDGED. \- Amy Carmichael

The problem of patting yourself on the back is that your hands aren't free to break your fall.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"When you meet a REALLY humble person, you will not meet someone who is always telling you that he is a nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent person, who took a real interest in you. He will not be thinking about humility; he will not be thinking about himself at all." - C. S. Lewis

What parent would knowingly put their child in a closed room with a stack of Playboy magazines and say, "I have taught you well. I know you won't look at these"----and then leave? Then why do so many of us put a computer in our teenager's bedroom and allow closed-door access? - quoted from Camielle Call-Tarbet

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

VAIN RELIGION: - seeks money more than righteousness. Mt. 23:14

\- seeks teaching more than preaching. 2 Tm. 4:3

\- seeks entertainment more than truth. 2 Tm. 4:3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE SADDEST WORDS OF TONGUE OR PEN

ARE THESE FOUR WORDS: "IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some quotes from Watchman Nee: "I want nothing for myself. I want everything for my Lord."

"We know our wretchedness, but by the grace of God, we want to be faithful."

In 1952, Watchman Nee was arrested by the Chinese Communist government. He was given a 20 year prison sentence and only his wife was allowed to visit him. She died in Oct. 1971, and he was 68 when he died on June 1, 1972. Here is a quote from the last letter written by him from a labor camp in 1972: "I MAINTAIN MY JOY."

****************************************************************

Is Jesus Christ Lord of your life? In all things does He have preeminence? ****************************************************************

##  April 2000

For Women Only - from Verlene Kincaid, an aged woman

Titus 2:2-4: The aged women be teachers of good things: teach the young women to:

Be sober, love their husband, love their children, be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good...

BE GOOD: Young women - what do you tell your children when they are going over to grandma's, or a friend's house? Don't you usually say, "BE GOOD"? I know I did. What do we mean by it? Don't embarrass me? Be nice and not sassy? Don't cause any problems? Make sure they ENJOY your visit? Don't be bad?

One night on the way home from church, two of our granddaughters were in the back seat of our car . They got to quarreling, and one of them turned to the other and said, "You aren't being a blessing. Mom told us to be a blessing." What a SWEET way of saying "Be Good". "Be a Blessing."

Good is the opposite of Evil. We are told in Hebrews 5:14 that strong meat (talking about the harder to digest things in Scripture) belongs to them that are of full age; even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. Some Christians aren't ready to be fed with meat. They can only swallow milk - they are still "babes" in Christ (1 Cor. 3:1-2). But we do not need to STAY that way. We all need to grow up in Him and be ABLE to discern both good and evil. We have been criticized for telling Christians to grow up, but that is exactly what GOD tells us to do.

GOOD: As God. Godly. (The root word of good is God.) Morally sound. Virtuous, pios, kind, generous, merciful, well-behaved, dutiful, honorable, unblemished, beneficial, right.

EVIL: Ungodly. Having bad moral qualities. Sinful, bad, wicked, corrupt, perverse, vile, base, wrong, harmful, disastrous, destructive.

ARE YOU GOOD? This is the will of God for you.

There is coming a time, and already is here, when the world will call good evil and evil good. (Is. 5:20) YOU MUST, by reason of USE of the scriptures, KNOW what GOD calls good, and what GOD calls evil - not what your generation says. If you "be good", you will be a blessing. If you "be evil", you will curse yourself and others. Refuse the evil and choose the good. (Is. 7:15,16) Depart from evil. (Ps. 34:14; 37:27; Prov. 3:7) Abhor that which is evil and cleave to that which is good. (Rom. 12:9) Overcome evil with good. (Rom. 12:21) Be wise unto that which is good. (Rom. 16:19) Follow that which is good. (1 Th. 5:15; 1 Pet. 3:13) Hold fast that which is good. (Rom. 16:19) Do good to your husband all the days of your life. (Pr. 31:11-12) Ladies - BE GOOD!

Quotable Quote: "No one knows how bad he is 'til he has tried very hard to be good. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. The one who gives in after 5 minutes does not know what it would have been like an hour later. Bad people live a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil inside us until we try to fight it." - C.S. Lewis

That takes us back to our last lesson. How can we, who are evil, possibly be good? Through the power of the Holy Spirit, who is good, who is working in us, and who gives us the ability to do God's will.

"Let us lay aside the sin which doth so easily beset us..." (Heb. 12:1-2)

God quite simply tells us to lay it aside; get rid of it. What is His will for you?

Be Good! Lay aside your sin!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A footnote from the last study: I was gently (& kindly, I hope) rebuked for saying, "The Bible says it. I believe it. That settles it." I was told I should have said: "The Bible says it. That settles it." Naturally I agree that if the Bible says it, that DOES SETTLE IT. BUT only to those who believe it does it settle it for them! The Word must be mixed with FAITH to benefit individual people. (Heb. 4:2-3)

..........................................................................................

Books: For the young people: They may be considered "outdated", but the Danny Orliss series published by Moody Press are excellent for teenagers. And for pre-teens: The Sugar Creek Gang series, also published by Moody Press. If you need the address, call me.

This from my dear friend Aartje Campbell: Any novel written by Janet Oke. They are clean, fictional, historical, romance stories about people who love Jesus and want to serve Him. If you like fiction, these will be good AND also edifying; encouraging your faith.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

QUESTION & ANSWERS: Do you think Christians owe God the tithe?

Answer: Here we go again - this one will get me in trouble. But you asked for MY opinion, so remember, this is MY opinion. Yes, I think Christians owe God the tithe. The Scriptures say: "The tithe is the Lords." (Lev. 27:26-32) IS JESUS LORD? If so, the tithe belongs to him. If you keep something that belongs to someone else, you are defrauding/robbing him (Mal.3:8-10). If Jesus is God, who is the same yesterday, today and forever - then his principles are still the standard of right and wrong. The principle of God's Word is that the tithe is the Lords, and it should be given FIRST; not after all the other bills are paid.

THE TITHE was given by Abraham. Jacob gave God 10% - which is the tithe. This was BEFORE the LAW. Tithing was included IN the LAW - plus offerings above and beyond the tithe. Even the Levites who received the tithe as their only income, were told to tithe the tithe. Which principle simply means that God's WORKERS, who receive tithes, ARE TO TITHE; they are not exempt. We are now living in the age of Grace - AFTER the LAW. IF THE TITHE WAS THE LORD'S BEFORE THE LAW, AND DURING THE LAW, WHY WOULDN'T IT STILL BE THE LORD'S AFTER THE LAW? I believe the PRINCIPLE is still in effect. We are in the age of Grace, but the PRINCIPLES of the 10 commandments are still in effect. Does God's standard of morals (good & evil) change because we are under Grace and not under Law? The TITHE is the LORD'S - not ours to keep. Yes, I think Christians owe God at least that much (and a whole lot more). God's teaching in the New Testament is that God's workers should be supported by God's people. You should support your pastors with your tithes; you should support missionaries who are going out in the name of Jesus to reach souls you cannot personally reach; you should help pay the bills at the church you attend. Yes, we need to give our tithes and offerings for the Lord's work.

I have never understood Christians who quibbled over it. We should be HAPPY to give it and more. Do we have the attitude that my sins are forgiven and I'm going to heaven - to hell with the rest of the world? Can that be a Christian talking? A person born again with the Holy Spirit working in them? God's will and directive is to get the gospel to the world, and we covet the Lord's tithe? Let's not use our liberty as a cloak for our covetousness.

*******************************************

We have been in a drought in our area for awhile, and it brought back to my mind a song I heard several months ago. It was a song about wanting life to be all sunshine with no clouds. Well, we should pay close attention to the fact that all sunshine leads to drought.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Isn't it amazing how much ado it made when Gov. Bush visited Bob Jones University? All the fuss about them being anti-catholic and he had no right to go? Well, they seem to have forgotten that the word protestant has historically meant anti-catholic. Others can visit Catholic Universities, or Buddhist temples, and no one says a word. Do they think that Catholics aren't anti-protestant? Or that Buddhists and Muslims aren't anti-Christian? Of course (up to now) they haven't let it be out in the open in the United States, but go to the countries where they are in power, and see how much "tolerance" they have. Thank the Lord that we still have religious freedom - unless we want to visit a Protestant University.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Psalm a day helps you rejoice all the way; they'll teach you how to praise & pray.

To balance your mind read a Proverb or two; they'll teach you truths old and yet new.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

C. T. Studd wrote a little booklet that all Christians need to read. It is called Chocolate Soldiers. They melt in the heat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From the Senior News, March 2000: "A study by the Mayo Clinic shows that optimists, on the average, live longer than pessimists." Isn't that interesting? Of course God told us that 3000 years ago: "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine." (Proverbs)

Trust the Scriptures - they are always right.

####################################################

What I do is called "fishing". If it were easy, we would refer to it as "catching", and there would be a lot more people doing it. - L. Greenlaw

#####################################################

Our circumstances may not look even remotely like the will of God, but to give thanks in them IS THE WILL OF GOD.

***********************************************

THE WORD OF THE LORD IS VERY LIKELY TO INCONVENIENCE US.

A personal story: When we first went to Quezaltenango, Guatemala as missionaries, Lyndell wanted to do street preaching but felt he needed a P.A. System to help draw a crowd. We were living on very limited finances, so he prayed that if this was in God's will, He would send us money in a way that we'd know it was for that particular purpose. A man we did not know and never heard from again, sent us a special offering. In the same month, a Sunday School class that had never given to us before, and never gave to us afterward, also sent a special offering. The two together were just enough to buy his P.A. System. This is just ONE of our personal testimonies that God loves to answer prayer.

**********************************************************

Don't worry that your children don't always listen to you;

worry that they are always watching you.

*********************************************

Salvation is a gift which is undeserved; and only those who know they don't deserve it have it.

From my smitten heart, with tears,

Two wonders I confess:

The wonders of His glorious love,

And my own worthlessness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JESUS CHRIST IS LORD. IN ALL THINGS HE WILL HAVE THE PREEMINENCE

##

##  May/June 2000

For Women ONLY ........From Verlene Kincaid....... an aged woman.......

Titus 2:2-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women to:

be obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

There is no doubt in my mind that in regard to this particular scripture, almost all women at some point, have a controversy with God about it. When I first came to a knowledge of what God expected out of a wife, my immediate reaction was, "No way!"

Probably for twenty three hours and 45 minutes of each and every day (I hope I am exaggerating here), I could wish that this phrase wasn't in the Bible. My own selfish heart has no desire to be obedient to my husband. Only when I am yielded to the Holy Spirit, reading or meditating on God's Word, praying, or thinking about my Saviour can my heart say, "Amen" to these words. At those times, I do desire, in truth, to be an obedient wife. I do know in my inner self that being an obedient wife would not only please and bring honor to God and my husband, but that it would be best for all concerned, myself included.

Almost all of us women want our own way; we seek to dominate our husbands (we want them to obey us and not vice versa); we have a will that wants no authority over us but ourselves. It is really hard to be obedient if you think you know best, but even if that were true, God has decided that the husband is the head of his family. Whether we like God's decision or not, it IS HIS DECISION.

In 1 Tim. 2:13-14 and Rom. 5:12-19 we have some interesting things to think about. It says the woman was deceived but that the man wasn't. I have heard it said that this is the reason women were not given authority by God - because she is weak and easily deceived. But take note that the man was not deceived. He sinned willfully and knowingly. It is because of Adam's sin (not Eve's) that death came upon all of us. If the woman was deceived and the man sinned willfully, why would we want either one in leadership? Do we want a leader who can be deceived? Of course not. But do we want a leader who sins willfully? Of course not. SO IN TRUTH, neither man nor woman deserves leadership - it is a responsibility given by God to man.

Any organization must have a leader - someone with responsibility: an overseer, a boss, a C.E.O., etc. In the home, this position is given to the husband. This is God's choice and it is a decision that is not ours to usurp. I have found through experience that every time I try God's way it turns out to be the best way. Not necessarily the popular or easy way, but the best for everyone, especially Him. My advice is to surrender to our Lord Jesus Christ and try it His way. He knows more about your husband than you do and he knows all about the problems involved in obedience. (Heb. 5:8; Rom. 5:19)

What if your husband treated the authority of his boss the way you treat his authority over you? Would he keep his job? His obedience to his boss may be just as difficult for him as your obedience to him is for you. Would you support his rebellion against authority? They why support your own rebellion?

A wife is not a slave nor a hired-servant. How do I know this? To quote my own husband: "Because

the words are spelled different." (And pronounced different.) (And have different meanings.) There are Bible rules for the right treatment of servants and there are also Bible rules for the right treatment of wives. Governments are given by God for the benefit of the people and God gives the government of the home to the husband for the benefit of the home. You or I may wish God had given it to us, or at least an equal amount of it. But there is awesome responsibility involved and you might not like having that responsibility and accountability. Trust God's way. If we trust ourselves more than we trust God, we may not reap the blessings God wants for us. And believe me, he wants our joy to be full. (He tells us so.) From my understanding of Scripture, God expects a husband to love and cherish and honor his wife, provide for his own, and bring his children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. If your husband doesn't do these things, does that give you the right to not do what God expects of a wife? Do two wrongs make a right? They never have and never will. You will answer to Jesus only for what you did - not what your husband did. (Romans 14:12; 2 Cor. 5:10)

I was probably 95% obedient to my parents, my teachers and my bosses. Why do I find it soooooooooooooooo hard to be 95% obedient to my husband? I still do not understand my own spirit in this relationship. Is it because I don't fear consequences? And there are consequences. Wives are divorced by disillusioned husbands every day. Could our being disobedient to God, cause our husbands to be disobedient to God also? I know many women who are stressed out in their home situation and are constant complainers and backbiters. Is this making them happy? Evidently not. Might not they be happier if they tried God's way - loving their husbands, being keepers at home, being obedient to their husbands, etc? Ladies - I suggest we try it, through Christ which strengthens us, and who is working in us to will AND to do.

One of our missionary kids returned to the states. At his job, he was discussing his scheduling with his boss when she mentioned her baby. He said, "I thought you had never married." She said that was true. He said, "I thought you married before having babies." She said, "That's '50s thinking; this is the '90s." Young women, this is now the 21st century - but as this teenager told that woman, "God's rules are never outdated." OBEDIENCE TO OUR HUSBANDS IS A RULE OF GOD - EVEN IN THE 2000s. Be obedient to your husband that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

When I teach my classes one of the questions most asked me is: Would you obey your husband, NO MATTER WHAT? Well, I have to admit that I do have reservations as to how far I would go in my obedience. Two men (Paul and Peter) who teach us to obey government and those that have the rule over us, did not obey when they were told they could not preach in Jesus' name, etc. (even at the cost of going to prison, being beaten, or being stoned). Daniel disobeyed his king - but ONLY when it was necessary because of his faith in God. Therefore, if my husband's command is anti-Christian, I would have to say no, but I should not do so in an ugly, hateful, or sassy manner. I should explain why. If he told me to commit some sin, I would have to refuse. If he told me I could not assemble with the believers, I would have to continue assembling, in as sweet a manner as possible. I do not believe my husband has jurisdiction over my relationship with God. He could not stop me from becoming a Christian or living for Jesus as a believer should. I think that is why Paul tells us that if an unbelieving husband leaves a believing wife, she is not under bondage in such a case. (1 Cor. 7) Why else would he leave, if she were submissive in every thing except when it came to her relationship with Jesus? Thus his leaving is evidently in response to her Christianity. Can you imagine a woman getting saved whose husband is a Muslim, a Jew, a Buddhist, etc.? For her to live for Jesus would cause CONSIDERABLE problems.

Some things to think about: "Remember that your own happiness is essentially tied to your husband's happiness. Therefore do all you possibly can to ensure his happiness."

"Love for your husband is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person, where you give up yourself and your selfishness in order to bring the marriage to where God wants it - not where you want it."

"Let's not be an emotionally wounded wife, puffed up in pride, waiting for submission from our husbands. Let's be responsible, rational women who humble ourselves in the sight of God, making the marriage as beautiful as lies in us to make it." - E. Elliot

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Aren't you putting Christians under law in telling them they owe the Lord a tithe?

NO - of course not! I have never told anyone that except they tithe they cannot be saved (Acts 15:1). Salvation is a free gift to repentant and believing sinners and comes only by grace through faith - definitely not by works (Acts 15:9-11). We cannot put ourselves under any law in order to earn or keep our salvation - that would be falling from grace (Gal. 5:4). One reason, among many others, that God chose to make salvation a gift is so that no one can boast (Eph. 2:9). Salvation comes through repentance toward God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, by receiving Jesus - believing in His name (John 1:12) - NOT in keeping the law (Gal. 2:16). All I say about the tithe is that Abraham (who was saved by faith) knew to tithe (before the law), and that Jacob knew to tithe (before the law). How did they know? It seems reasonable that they had been instructed, just as Cain and Abel had evidently been instructed that "without shedding of blood is no remission" (Heb. 9:22).

If anyone tells you that you must tithe or you cannot be saved - that is false doctrine. But if anyone tells you the tithe is the Lord's, that is Bible truth. As a Christian you can give it or not give it and it will not affect your eternity; but it has always been and always is the Lord's.

A believer gives as he purposes in his heart as God has prospered him (sounds like a percentage to me)(and can it be that a Christian under grace would give less than a Jew under law?) (1 Cor. 16:2; 2 Cor. 9:7). I know of a business man who gave 90% of his profits to the Lord's work. I personally know Christians who have not greatly prospered financially, and yet give 20% or more. I know others who are financially prosperous and give 20% or more. And yet there are others who do not love Jesus enough to give even 1% or 5%. This does not keep them from being saved - but they miss out on the joy and blessedness of generous and cheerful giving. Jesus says of some churches: "I know thy poverty (but thou art rich)." (Rev. 2:9). And of some he says, "Thou sayest, I am rich and knowest not that thou art wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked." (Rev. 3:17).

None of Jesus' commandments have to be kept in order to be saved (except "Repent and believe the gospel."), but Jesus does say, "Give and it shall be given unto you (Luke 6:38). The tithe was the Lord's before the law, and there is no "law keeping" involved when you give the Lord what is rightfully His.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some quotable quotes: "One of the great truths children learn about life: When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair."

"Fourteen year old kids have fourteen year old priorities."

..........................................................................

The New Testament is a small book and can be read through in two days. We could read it through once a month and thereby obtain a comprehensive view of the whole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You cannot test your decisions on whether they brought earthly success or satisfaction; only if they were scriptural or not. The proof that God is moving is based on what He has said, not on what we see.

"If one does right and is judged to be right, he will be neither angry nor hurt. He may be pleased, but he will not be proud.

If one who is proud does wrong and is judged to be wrong, he will be both angry & hurt.

If one who is proud does right and is judged to be wrong, he also will be angry and hurt.

If one who is truly humble does wrong and is judged to be wrong, he will not resent it, but will in gratitude and humility, no matter what it costs him, heed the judgment and repent.

If one who is truly humble does right and is judged to be wrong, he will not give the judgment a second thought. It is his Father's glory that matters to him, not his own."

\- Elisabeth Elliot

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

TO BE BRAVE IS TO BEHAVE BRAVELY WHEN YOUR HEART IS FAINT.

So you can be really brave only when you ain't.

************************************************

Jesus has comforted many hearts, satisfied many souls, transformed many lives, and wiped away many tears. He turns our mourning into dancing and makes our lives joyful. He is the sun in our cloudy days, and our song in our dark nights. - Watchman Nee

##  July-August 2000

For Women ONLY ........From Verlene Kincaid....... an aged woman......

Genesis 3:18: "Thorns and thistles shall it (the ground) bring forth to thee........"

Not only did we get death by Adam's sin - we got some really bad weeds.

Therefore, weeds, like death, are a part of human life.

I just came in from my morning walk over our land. As most of you know, by God's kindness and the help of a friend, we were able to purchase 13+ acres in the hill country of Texas. I love being outside, making my "park" as beautiful as my feeble efforts can manage. I have been out pulling weeds (among other things). This has been one of my therapies for years and years. If I'm frustrated, angry, or a little blue, I go out in the yard or garden and pull weeds.

Now if I were to look at the whole 13 acres and think about getting rid of all those weeds, I'd give up before I started. But I pull one weed at a time, clearing small areas at a time. There was one year we couldn't even wade through most areas - the weeds were too thick. That year I tried mowing them. This helps, but since the "root" is still there, they grow right back.

There are some weeds I like. Some have tiny pink flowers and are beautiful. Some are soft to walk on and have lovely white flowers every morning. Others are ugly, ugly, ugly - and damaging also. They grow tall, stiff, scratchy and thick. I try to let the good weeds grow, while pulling the bad ones out by the roots. I look at it this way - for every bad weed I pull, I'm destroying thousands of bad seeds, and clearing the way for good things to grow and bear fruit.

Now - read that paragraph again, putting the word 'habits' in the place of 'weeds' and you'll see one of my great philosophies of life. In my life there are acres and acres of bad habits and small patches of good habits. If I look at all those acres needing weeding in my life, I would 'faint' and give up. But if I take one small area to work on, I'll have the joy of seeing real results and some patches of godliness will grow where they had been choked before.

This year, I have some areas on our acreage where the bad weeds are sparse and therefore easy to pluck out. They are not in control. Does that mean I can ignore them? No, because the bad weeds always try to come back. And although there are still areas where those ugly weeds are in abundance, I'm pulling weeds every day and my stamina is growing by reason of use. Thus my chances of 'getting weary' are less and God tells us to NOT get weary.

Do I honestly think that I will get rid of every bad weed on my 13 acres? No, but does that mean I should sit on my porch and let them take over? God Forbid!

One weed at a time, dear women, one weed at a time. Keep pulling!

There is nothing remarkable about love at first sight. It's when people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes remarkable.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Romans 2:4: God is not soft, but He is kind. He is not a God of compromise, but He is a God of forgiveness.

Brother Dale once preached about "expecting nothing" in a marriage and we wouldn't be disappointed. Well, Bro. Dale, we teased you unrelentingly about it, but we did get your point. Too many times we expect our husband to make us happy and therefore do everything "our way". But we forget that our husband got married expecting us to make him happy. One of the things I've learned is that although others may please us and give us some sweet times that we will always savor, they cannot make us happy.

Happiness comes from within ourselves - we can be truly happy even when our outward circumstances are miserable. I'll give you one clue: Jesus says, " If you know my commandments, happy are ye if you do them." If your main desire in life is to please Jesus and hear Him say, "Well done.", then if you know you are obeying Him, you can be happy even when being burned at the stake. (We have testimonies of this in the Bible and Foxes Book of Christian Martyrs.) People can praise God in their misery which came as a result of their obedience to Him.

MOST OF US DON'T OBEY Him and have the gall to wonder why we aren't happy!

*************************************************

Question & Answer paragraph:

QUESTION: What do you feel were your failures as a young wife?

ANSWER: One of the biggest was that I had no idea of what the Bible said about marriage. I had happy parents and most of the people I knew were not divorced, so I had seen marriages go through ups and downs, give and take, and make it though to the other side. I let movies, books, magazines, parents of friends, neighbors, and relatives teach me about marriage. But I really needed to know what the Bible said, and not what the world thought. (Lyndell used to say that I was the original "woman's libber.) I thought I knew how to make a marriage work, and if it didn't, "Too bad." I had a LOT to learn and to overcome in building a Bible marriage.

ALSO, I was somewhat lazy, and had a bad attitude toward much of the work I was expected to do. I did not enjoy much about 'keeping house'. I didn't mind washing clothes and hanging them out to dry, but in my early years of marriage I had to starch and iron our clothes - which was BORING and TIME CONSUMING. I didn't mind washing dishes, but I never enjoyed cooking. And to have 'company', where I was under pressure to be a good cook \- that wiped me out; I was 'very anxious' in the planning, preparation and serving. I did not like mopping, sweeping and dusting - much preferring being outside mowing, raking, weeding, and gardening. And if I HAD to be inside, I'd much rather read than make beds, etc.

Being a MOM brought me GREAT JOY - although it did have its drawbacks: being kept up at night; changing and washing messy diapers; cleaning up after upset stomach episodes or dealing with bloody injuries. But I LEARNED that great joys always come with 'side effects' of unpleasant things. To have the joys, you lived through those unpleasant things. THIS IS A GOOD LESSON TO LEARN, especially at a young age.

Moms - my advice would be for you to teach your girls what GOD SAYS about wives and marriage, & hope and pray that they will be wise enough to follow God's word, and not the ways of the world.

God was IN CHRIST reconciling the WORLD unto HIMSELF; not "getting even", but RECONCILING.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God won't judge as to what neighborhood we lived in, but He WILL judge as to how we treated our neighbors. God won't judge as to the content of our bank account, but He WILL judge as to the content of our character.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OBEDIENCE: Have you ever put your children to bed, told them to be quiet and go to sleep, laid down yourself and have two out of three disobey you? One boy whispers quite loudly and the girl just can't manage to be quiet either. I am compelled at this point to get up and spank two children or compromise myself. It would be much easier to ignore the situation. A whispering boy is not so terribly bad, neither a grunting, irritated little girl. BUT - they must be disciplined because of simple disobedience. They are not obeying a command which they both understood and which one child IS obeying. I reluctantly get up and spank them (although not very hard) to let them know I expect obedience even of a 'little' command.

As I lay back down, I begin to think of how grieved God is with us (me). He gives a simple command to Adam and Eve. Do not eat of this particular tree. They eat of it. He tells Moses to speak to the rock. Moses (provoked by the people, yes, but still responsible to obey) strikes the rock. He tells the children of Israel not to take the spoil of the city. Achan takes some. He commands Saul to kill EVERY animal and person. Saul doesn't do so.

ALL OF THESE THINGS, IN THEMSELVES, (at least to us) do not seem like terrible sins. Moses, after all, had been told to hit the rock the time before. The very next city the Israelites took, God let them take all the spoil they wanted. Wherein lies the terrible sin that required such drastic punishment? DISOBEDIENCE. Samuel told Saul that TO OBEY was better than sacrifice and that rebellion was as idolatry and witchcraft.

Do I get upset with my children for whispering? No - whispering is no sin. But I could not ignore their DISOBEDIENCE to what I said to do. God is very longsuffering at times with our disobedience, but He does not ignore it. He will spank and He does spank.

God loves obedience. Our REASONING may think the command is unimportant - but our FAITH tells us that God's wisdom and God's will is above our own and HE KNOWS BEST. Every time we read something in God's word that teaches us how we should live, we best not question, murmur, nor doubt - BUT OBEY. God didn't put it there to trip us up or to make our life miserable. He put it there for our own good. Trust Him.

##################################

Despite those who claim to be healers, the death rate is still one per person!

##################################

BOOKS: A book for single women: Free to be Single, by Elva McAllaster

Published by: Christian Herald Books

40 Overlook Drive

Chappaqua, N.Y. 10514

I picked this up at a used book store. I thought I'd read it to see if I could recommend it, and it was hard for me to put down (which is rare for me). It has good ideas and is well written. She says things that clearly need to be said and it is for singles who do love Jesus. If you are temporarily single or permanently single - this will bless you.

........................................................................................................

A good friend of ours died recently and is now in the presence of her Lord. Lyndell had the privilege of reading Proverbs 31:10-31 at her funeral. What a joy to read those verses, knowing that some woman in real life can fit very closely to this picture of an ideal woman. I hope we will all desire to live so that these words can honestly be read at our own funeral.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My granddaughter gave me a sweet "grand" mother's day card that said: "A grandmother is a mom with all the worries worn off." In most ways this is true. We don't have to change diapers, stay up with sick babies, potty train, etc., but where I only had five kids to pray for and long to see grown and serving Jesus - I have ten (going on eleven) grandkids to "travail" over as they face the wickedness out in the world. That's twice as much prayer and thought, etc.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Only the heart can truly conceive reconciliation. Only a heart filled with the love of God can be reconciled to someone who has sinned against them, forgiving them and welcoming them with open arms. Joseph in the Old Testament did this. The father of the prodigal son did this. But the brother of the prodigal son had a hard time doing so. As Christians we are admonished to forgive those that sin against us as we have been forgiven by Jesus for our sins against Him. Only as you let God love and forgive through you will you be able to do this, but do it you must. - Eugenia Price

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If Christians attempt to accommodate Christianity to the worldliness of men, they render the salvation of the world impossible. - Charles Finney

JESUS CHRIST IS LORD. IN ALL THINGS HE SHOULD HAVE THE PREEMINENCE.

##  October 2000

For Women ONLY ........From Verlene Kincaid....... an aged woman....

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women to:

be sober, love their husbands, love their children, be discreet, chaste,

keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands;

that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Ladies, people are watching us. We have professed a good profession before many witnesses. We have told people that we are Christians. In the Bible this means: That we have repented toward God and believed in Jesus. That we have been born again. That we are new creatures. That old things are passed away. That the Holy Spirit dwells in us. That we are a child of God. That we are a member of His body. That we have His law written in our heart. That we are servants of Jesus. That we have been changed and are being changed into His likeness, having hearts that hunger after righteousness and godliness and hate the sin that so easily besets us. That He is our Lord and should have preeminence in our thinking and manner of living.

(1 Tm. 6:12; Acts 20:21; Jn.3:3,16; 2 Cor.5:17; Gal.6:15; Col.1:27; Rom. 8:9,11; Phil.1:21; Gal.2:20; Jn.6:1; Rom.8:16; Eph.5:30; Heb.8:10; Col.3:24; 2 Cor.3:18)

I could fill all four pages with what the Bible says it means TO BE A CHRISTIAN. Therefore, when we openly refuse to try and live as the Bible says a Christian should be living, the WORD OF GOD WILL BE BLASPHEMED. The Word which was made flesh, AND the Word He inspired to be written for our edification will be blasphemed.

Shouldn't this grieve us? Has the deceitfulness of sin so hardened our hearts that we DON'T CARE? That others perish? That our children have no clear example of a biblical lifestyle? Do we think our life is our own? That we don't affect others? That we won't answer for who we hurt? Or who might stumble by our actions? These verses in Titus are very simple and yet we read them carelessly and flippantly and say, "Not me! I don't want to and you can't make me."

There are many women just like the adulterous woman in Proverbs 30:20 who wipes her mouth and says, "I have not sinned." These women justify themselves in their adultery. They say, "It is love." God says it is hate. They hate the man they are committing adultery with because they are bringing him down into sin, instead of lifting him up into a life of godliness.

And yet WE DO THE SAME THING. We justify ourselves when we don't love & obey our husbands; we wipe our mouths and say, "I have not sinned." We think it's ok if WE ignore God's Words. We think WE aren't hurting Jesus, nor our children, nor the church. We are lying to ourselves. We are deceiving ourselves. Do we honestly think we can be hateful and bitter and disobedient to our own husbands and not cause the word of God to be blasphemed, even by our own children?

Ladies, we are beseeched by the mercies of God that we present our bodies a LIVING sacrifice to Jesus (Rom. 12:1) and I think that means LIVING according to what the Word of God says, admitting when we fail but continuing to try. Let's be VERY CAREFUL that WE'RE not the cause of the Word of God being blasphemed.

```````````````````````````````````

A QUOTE from Watchman Nee: "Today all who follow their own will, rely on their own strength, and glorify their own self are people who do not know themselves. But once anyone is thoroughly broken by God, that person shall see himself as abominable and hateful. He will not dare initiate anything or dare do anything in his own strength. He will instead wait for God's will in all things and depend on God's power. In the event there is any achievement he will dare not be self-conceited because he knows he is unworthy of any glory."

*****************************************

One of my granddaughters (Amanda) recently informed us she was taking a job in China, near the city of Hong Kong. As much as lies in me I do trust God to take care of her, but there is still a dread for someone I dearly love going into any country completely controlled by Communist dictators. I would ask that you pray for her and ask God to use her while she is there for His own purposes and glory. That is all I want for my children and grandchildren; that they walk worthy of the Lord and stay in His will - wherever that may take them.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Something I wished I would have done: Just sat around and TALKED more with my children about everything. Encouraged them to open up about their doubts, their fears, their heartaches, their besetting sins, their questions, their desires to conform to the world, their goals, their needs, their problems, their joys, their anything and everything. I am afraid that I was too busy with MY chores, MY responsibilities as a preachers wife, MY "private time", MY "whatever" - that I failed to be totally aware of all THEIR personal needs and the testings THEY were going through. I needed to be consistent & firm in discipline & training, but I also needed to be gentle and caring much more than I was. Yes, I CARED, but not as openly and generously as I might have.

Moms - they have an abundance of questions and fears, and many times they are afraid to talk to us about them, thinking we'll not understand. Let them never be fearful of coming to us with anything. Let them desire our counsel without being terrified of our rebuke. Let them chat with us without interruptions or distractions. Their rebuffs to us and withdrawals from us will outnumber their moments of sharing, but those moments will be worth our effort to keep the doors of communication always open. They are seeking to be their own person, but they still need our wisdom and guidance. Hopefully they'll want it. Let them know you are ALWAYS there for them and that their happiness is one of your highest priorities.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Teenage years are when parents feel the most anxiety and when the children have the most withdrawal. They seek guidance elsewhere and you need to warn them that they may be exchanging the domination of parents (who love them) for the domination of a stranger (who really doesn't care about them)." - Dr. M. Hilliard

QUESTION: Do you think there is any reason a woman could leave her husband?

Answer: Jesus made it clear that BEFORE the law was ever given, God's plan was that a man and woman become one when they married. They were no longer two, but one. God's will is that we never be separate again.

Jesus was very PLAIN SPOKEN about this subject. He said that if we divorce our husband for any reason other than fornication, these three things could happen: 1) we would cause the man we divorced to commit adultery; 2) we would commit adultery; 3) any man who married us would commit adultery. What a sad state of sin we would be bringing upon ourselves and others.

Some people think that the term fornication is limited in meaning to pre-marital sex. Others believe fornication includes ANY sexual SIN; i.e. pre-marital sex; incest; rape; homosexuality/lesbianism; whoremongering; adultery; (and I recently read an excellent article arguing that pornography is adultery because it is "looking on women to lust after them", which Jesus says is adultery).

Jesus said that for fornication you could divorce and marry someone else without it being (or causing) adultery. I can not tell you for sure what I would do if my husband was unfaithful, but my desire would be to leave. God could give me the needed grace to forgive and stay with a wayward husband, but it is more grace than I presently have. Other women have forgiven and stayed and have ended up building a really good marriage. I would say that it is a very personal decision that no one can make for you. If he repents and renews his vows you can be truly blessed in staying. There are MANY testimonies that this is true. But Jesus says fornication is the one reason you could divorce and not be the cause of sin.

If my husband sexually abused my child, there is no doubt in my mind what I would do. I would get a gun and shoot him - in the groin if not the brain. Oooooooooooooops! That must be my OLD nature talking. As a believer in God's Word, I should be able to trust God to take care of that wicked man. "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord." I would turn that man over to the Lord, but I'd pick up my kids and RUN as fast and as far as I could, saying, "So long, it's been BAD to know you." My heart would be breaking for my child, and my children would need my energy, so I shouldn't waste it on trying to get even with that man; although he may need to be prosecuted for me to get custody of the children.

One other reason I MIGHT leave would be in the case of physical abuse. I would abide by 1 Cor. 7 and "remain unmarried or be reconciled to my husband", but I don't think I would stay. It is hard for me to imagine a man hitting a wife who loves him (and shows it openly by word and deed) and is submissive and obedient with a meek and quiet spirit. BUT it does happen - drunk or not. The chances are high that if he abuses me, he would abuse the children. I believe abusive men can be helped and he might truly repent and change. He might actually learn to control his own spirit. I would pray that way, but I would not risk my life or my children's lives. If he's abusive he needs help or outward restraint and I could give him neither. Do I have scripture to back this up? Well David and Paul, two great men of God, fled to save their lives, and no one can doubt they were both men of great faith who trusted God in terrible situations. Therefore I do not think their fleeing was a lack of trust in God. (1 Sm. 19:10-18; 1 Sm. 21:10; Mt. 10:23; Jn. 7:1; Acts 9:23-25; Acts 12:5-9; Acts 14:5-6; 2 Cor. 11:32-33) If an abusive husband is dangerous - and he is - then I believe we should protect ourselves and our children.

*Addendum: Some of you who receive this are divorced and remarried. You have built a good second marriage and have been wonderful step-parents. Your life shows that you love Jesus and are committed to following Him. You are right with God and the divorce is behind you. Never doubt God's forgiveness - we can't undo our past but we can be blessed in our future. Whenever a preacher or teacher deals with divorce, you must not chasten yourself again. You have no need to repent every time the subject is mentioned. But neither do you have a need to resent it - just agree with the truth being preached and teach your children that it is truth. If your pastors are men of the Word, they'll have to preach or teach against divorce because it is in the Word and new Christians need to know what the Word says about it.

Pray that this younger generation will learn from the Word and even from our own experiences. Maybe they can avoid some of our mistakes. They need all the help they can get.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MOM'S DICTIONARY: Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

********************************************************

We must make the right choice in the face of choices that are immediately more fun.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Keep your children busy with activities you approve. When they get bored, they'll find their own activities. Worrying about what they're doing is harder work than being involved in their activities.

The way of salvation for us is not in our being good but in God's saving us out of Adam and putting us into Christ.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How can we ever move others with the love and compassion of Jesus if we ourselves are so hard and cold. - Watchman Nee

Victory does not rely on feeling but on the Word of God. - Watchman Nee

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I desire that we should rise above the spirit of discontent, the spirit that finds fault, mourns, moans and laments, making complaints by which to provoke the Lord our God. - Charles Spurgeon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE NAME OF JESUS IS THE ONLY NAME GIVEN WHEREBY WE MUST BE SAVED.

#  2001

## January 2001

For Women ONLY ......From Verlene Kincaid.......an aged woman.......JANUARY 2001

Titus 2:3-5: " The aged women. ..be... teachers of good things:... teach the young women..."

THIS IS A YEAR THE LORD HAS GIVEN US... WE NEED TO REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT (Read Psalm 118:24) AND NOT WASTE IT. (Read Eph. 5:16 and Rom. 13:11-14)

I would like to share with you some things that help me rejoice - and be able to rejoice always (Phil. 4:4).

I. COMFORT OF THE SCRIPTURES

A. "He careth for you." (1 Pt. 5:7) What greater comfort can we have than to accept this great truth • as simple as it is. In what situation do you find yourself right now? HE CARES.

B. "If it were not so, I would have told you." (John 14:2) You can rest ASSURED that what He HAS told us is TRUE and if we needed to know more, He WOULD HAVE TOLD US.

If there were no heaven.........He would have told us.

If there were no hell...............He would have told us.

If there were no rewards for doing good...........He would have told us.

If there were no consequences for disobeying His Words...........He would have told us.

If there were any other way to be saved than by believing in His Name......He would have told us.

(Acts 4:10-12; John 1:12 and John 3:18)

YOU CAN TRUST HIM - IT IS SO SIMPLE.

II. JOY OF WORSHIP

I never learned to worship in spirit and in truth until we began celebrating the Lord's Supper every  
Sunday night, where it was STRESSED that we came for nothing else except to worship. (Don't exhort; don't  
rebuke; don't evangelize; don't tell your needs; don't say anything that draws our minds away from the WORSHIP OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST \- WHO HE IS AND WHAT HE HAS DONE IN HIS DEATH AND RESURRECTION.) Jesus never said, "Remember my Birthday" but he clearly said of the Lord's Supper, "THIS DO IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME".

This portion of a poem expresses my own heart's words in the marvel of what He has done for me:

When I stand before the throne

Clothed in beauty not my own;

When I see thee as thou art;

Love thee with unsinning heart;

Then Lord shall I fully know -

Not 'til then - how much I owe. By Robert McCheyne

III. GREATNESS OF SONGS

Do you really pay attention to the WORDS of the songs you sing? This is one reason we sing ALL the verses in our services. They are telling us something - not only having a pretty melody or peppy beat. Have you truly CONSIDERED the message in songs like "AT CALVARY"? Or "HOW FIRM A FOUNDATION"?

"What more can He say than to you He has said? To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled."

What a beautiful cadence and what tremendous meaning to the words. What a blessing to my spirit. One song in particular has a phrase in it that I quote to myself whenever I am going through some trial:

"Not my will. Thine be done, cried the Father's own son. "

I can go to God and tell Him that I honestly want His will to be done and not my own, and it provokes me to do so when I think of the words of that song. This helps me do (or put up with) whatever I am facing. Another song that always blesses me: "God Leads His Dear Children Along".

YES HE DOES. ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS FOLLOW.

IV. FELLOWSHIP OF BELIEVERS

I am amazed at God's plan. His will is that two people marry and marry for LIFE, which is one of the most difficult things possible for selfish humans to do, and we are ALL selfish.

AND THEN - His will is that a group of believers gather together in His name - and STAY in fellowship one with another. That means loving, being long-suffering, forgiving, disciplining, and serving one another. This again, is one of the most difficult things possible for self-centered humans to manage.

These arc the only institutions God has for us today; marriage and the church. And He demands we learn to get along with one another for His Name's sake.

Difficult? Yes! Rewarding? Yes!

A happy marriage is one of the most rewarding relationships possible. A really blessed church fellowship is another of the most rewarding relationships on earth. They are both a labor of love and a work of faith, but how blessed we are if we have either one, or both. God certainly knows what He is doing, even if we don't understand His ways. Two of the hardest things to accomplish, He desires for us and asks of us. WE THINK, this HAS to be wrong - He can't possibly expect us to always put up with one another, and yet He does - for OUR OWN GOOD, for the sake of others, and to GLORIFY HIM.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A BOOK I WHOLEHEARTEDLY RECOMMEND: Living With Pain By Samuel C. Gipp

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Question: Some verses in the Bible seem to say we should never judge anyone, while others

seem to say we should. How can we reconcile them?

Answer: First - take them all \- never an isolated verse or two. and always take them in their context.

Probably the most quoted verse in the Bible is "Judge Not" (Mt. 7:1). But this is not the whole of the sentence; nor of the lesson Jesus is teaching. The sentence says: Judge not, LEST ye be judged. Jesus goes on to say FOR (verse 2). Why be wary in judging? "FOR with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again ."

Whatever standard/ruler/measure you go by in judgment - WILL be used in measuring/judging you. He continues in verses 3-5 by telling us to judge OURSELVES before we judge another.

In this same chapter (verses 15-23) He tells us to beware of false prophets. We must make a JUDGMENT of someone to know that they are false prophets, and he clearly tells us we "shall KNOW them by their fruits* He is saying we must judge by their fruits. Therefore, in this same chapter, we can see clearly he does not mean to never make a judgment of another person. But he also clearly does mean that we will be judged; and by the same standard we use in judging.

We are forced to make judgments every day of our lives. Every decision you make calls for you to make a judgment. We judge ourselves, our husbands, our children, our parents, our bosses, our co- workers, our church family, and things that pertain to this life - on a daily basis. The problem comes when we are quick and careless in judging others while never judging ourselves and resenting others judging us. When Jesus told the men, "He that is without sin, let him first cast a stone at her" (John 8:3- 11). they sat in judgment on themselves and left. THEN Jesus told Her, "Go and sin no more." He judged her sin, and did not tell her she was alright and could continue in that lifestyle. They were very definitely hypocrites and my question has always been. Where is the MAN? I think he was one of them and that they had set her up and that Jesus knew it. But whatever was going on, Jesus did not excuse or ignore her sin "Go and sin no more", is also what He tells us when we judge ourselves.

It is very difficult to discipline people in the church for sin, because we ourselves are sinners and must first sit in judgment on ourselves (Rom. 2:1-3). NONE of us are sinless, but we can be (and God expects us to be) blameless outwardly and yet not be hypocrites; confessing our own inward corruption.

In the OT. God not only expected judgments. He demanded them (Deut. 1:16-17; Lev. 19:15; Prov 24:23-25) In Mt. 18:15-17. Jesus tells how to handle judgments among Christians. In John 7:24. he tells us to judge righteous judgment. In 2 Cor. 2:15-16. we are told, "he that is spiritual judgeth all things" only because we "have the mind of Christ*. In 1 Cor 5. Paul tells how the church MUST judge the open sin in the church He tells them not to keep company with anyone who says he is a Christian and yet is a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner. This means making judgments We are to judge other believer's actions (v. 12) and to put the wicked doers away from among us - not even eat with them.

Does this seem harsh? Too many "love" preachers and teachers skip over a lot of the Bible, or they have one that has corrupted God's Words God TELLS us to judge Paul judged and tells the church to judge, but it should be done according to Mt 18:15-17 First, privately Second, privately with witnesses Lastly, and regretfully, and only with the aim of getting them to repent, we must bring it to the church Never let it be done in pride or self-righteousness.

In 1 Cor. 6:1-5 he tells us that the least esteemed brother in the church can make judgments He tells them it is to their shame if they don't have even one wise man that is "able to judge between his brethren". In 1 Cor 7:25,40, Paul says he makes judgments about things pertaining to this life; while in 1 Cor. 4:1 -5, he makes it clear that when it comes to judging someone's stewardship of the gospel, only God can truly know the hidden counsels of the hearts. Judging outward deeds is necessary, but judging the hidden things of darkness and the counsels of the hearts must wait until the Lord comes

1 Cor 11:31 -32 tells us if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord. We do the very best for ourselves when we judge and confess our own sin. forsaking it. Then no one else has to judge us and the Lord doesn't have to chasten us.

In Rom. 14:3.10-13 and in 1 Cor 89. we are told there are some things which believers do not make judgments about. Some things are not "spelled out" for us and we are not to judge in those areas We shall ALL stand before the judgment seat of Christ and give an account of ourselves On some issues, we should not judge one another. "RATHER, we should be judging THIS: that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brothers way". We must judge our words and deeds as to whether or not they cause others to stumble, and if they do - we are to give them up for the sake of others.

In Gal. 2:11-14, Paul had to judge Peter's actions as wrong, and he did it publicly. He tells Timothy, "Them that sin rebuke before all." (1 Tm. 5:20)

In 2 Cor. 2:17, Paul makes a clear judgment that there are MANY that corrupt the Word of God. In 1 Tm. 3:19, he says there are some who have a form of godliness but from whom - because of their deeds - we are to turn away. They not only resist truth, but have corrupt minds and are reprobate concerning the truth. Is that a judgment, or is that a judgment? (Read also Titus 1:10-11,16, 2 Cor. 2:17; 1 John 4:1 and 2 Pet. 2:1-3)

Don't let anyone quote the tiny phrase "judge not* as being God's only word on judging. He says much, much more. When we are forced to make judgments we have GREAT responsibility and answerability to God. The standard we set for others has to be the standard we set for ourselves. The ONLY standard we have are the Scriptures - the mind of Christ. But our MAIN judging should be of OURSELVES

****************************************

Charles H. Spurgeon: "To those who are cold and are mourning their coldness, He will give heat. He will rejoice in those who are hot, who serve Him with the best they hove. But to the ones in the middle, the lukewarm. He says, "I will spue you our of my mouth.* Jesus cannot bear lukewarm people, He is sick of them."

E. McAllaster: "The face that smilingly ignores your sin is not the face of love."

*************************************

FAIR? There is nothing fair about the only sinless person who ever walked the face of the earth, becoming sin for every utterly vile person in the world. But it happened.

EVEN WHEN WE DON'T TREAT JESUS AS IF HE WERE OUR BELOVED, HE KEEPS ON TREATING US AS IF WE WERE HIS.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Carl Sagen; In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A SUGGESTION FOR THIS YEAR: Read one chapter of Proverbs every day. AND make an "every day" prayer list ond keep this list as your bookmark in Proverbs. That way when you read your days chapter, you will remember to pray for those particular people or needs, every single day.

S. C Gipp

*********************************************

While in this course of human life, five things observe with care.

Of whom you speak, to whom you speak; and how, and when, and where.

*********************************************

IF YOU DON'T RUN TO JESUS AND THE BIBLE IN YOUR TRIALS, YOU WILL NEVER WIN THE VICTORY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I find something very clear and to the point in Ruckman's booklet, "The Four Judgments":

\- Do you want to go to heaven? TRUST CHRIST.

\- Do you want to go to hell? TRUST SOMETHING ELSE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JESUS CHRIST IS LORD. IN ALL THINGS HE SHOULD HAVE THE PREEMINENCE.

##  March 2001

For Women ONLY ..From Verlene Kincaid an aged woman March 2001

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be... teachers of good things:... teach the young women.."

I love reading my Bible. I love the phrases in it and how Scripture can say so much in such few words. Here are three for you to chew on:

  1. "When the people complained it displeased the Lord." Numbers 11:1

  2. "....against hope believed " Romans 4:18

  3. "..his heart fretteth against the Lord." Proverbs 19:3

How often do we displease the Lord by complaining? How much do we believe against hope? How often does our heart fret against the Lord? I am ashamed to tell you how many times I as a wife and mother have fretted against the Lord. Have you fretted against the Lord when He told you to love your husband? Have you lost all hope of building a good marriage and can't find yourself "against hope" believing? Have you complained about your lot in life because things got worse instead of better? Do you fret against the Lord when He commands you to obey your husband and be a keeper at home? Do you fret when He tells you to adorn yourself in modest apparel and with good works? And do you do what the other part of Proverbs 19:3 says: Do you walk in your own foolishness and pervert your way? Isn't it ! sad when most of us do exactly that?

A lot of women ask me for advice - but many of them don't like it nor try to follow it. God's Word on their situation is not what they want to hear. They prefer humanistic psychology. They want to hear it's ok to leave a marriage where they are 'incompatible'; that 'no-fault' divorce is alright. Ladies, everyone I ) know is married to someone to which they are not compatible. I know women who stayed married for 50 or 60 years to an incompatible husband. Some are believers married to an unsaved man. Some are protestant married to Catholic, while some are married to another protestant, yet totally different in doctrine. How do they manage to stay together?

Lyndell and I have been married 46 years and we are almost totally incompatible. Would you like a j glimpse into our marriage? We were 16 when we started dating, and we argued the whole time we dated - breaking up a time or two. But we DID become good friends - enjoying talking to each other, even when our opinions differed greatly. My mom once said to me: "He picks you up and takes you to school; he f brings you home after school; he calls you when he gets home; he comes over later and takes you out for a soda; and then if it isn't after ten, he calls you again when he gets home. What in the world do you find to talk about?" Yes, we were friends. That was a big plus for us, but I'm going to give you some of the minuses, which we have learned to overcome.

I am a quiet person who truly enjoys being alone; Lyndell loves being around people most of the time. He is very hospitable, while I struggle with it. I enjoy being outdoors; he sees absolutely no reason to picnic outside when we have a comfortable, bug free dining room inside; or to BarBQ on a grill outside when we have a stove in the kitchen. I personally like yard work and he hates it - partly because he has had outdoor allergies all of his life. I was into baseball, volleyball and rodeos; while he loved football and basketball. I only liked football if he was playing, and the only basketball game I ever had fun at was when he once took me to see the Harlem Globetrotters. He thoroughly enjoys boxing while I cringe at it. He loves guns; I don't. He took pleasure in hunting and I see absolutely no reason for it. He has learned to like fishing -I get bored with it.

Lyndell wants all sound to be LOUD, but loud sounds make me edgy & give me headaches. He likes the A/C to be set at 65 and I want it at 75. I'm either chilled to the bone, or he's sweating. We were both picky eaters when we married <& we still have different tastes in food. I am an "early to bed, early to rise" person, while he can't get to sleep before midnight, and loves sleeping late (if possible). I liked everything western; books, clothes, music, rodeos, ranches, horses, etc. The only thing he liked western were cowboy hats, cowboy boots and John Wayne movies. He liked riding motorcycles, racing cars, and gambling. I liked quiet walks, was fearful of motorcycles and thought gambling was dumb, if not stupid. I had gotten involved in church and after getting saved, went regularly to all the services. He respected the Bible and preachers, but wasn't keen on going to church, although he professed to be a Christian (this was before he got saved).

You see, we had LOTS to argue about and our discussions were quite lively. What on earth, you may ask, did you have in common? There were a few things:

  1. Parents who had stuck it through better and worse, sickness and health, poverty and wealth, hard times and good.

  2. Parents with the same type of background (southern, rural, moral) - who were new to big city life and still thought 'country', 'family', 'honesty' and 'duty' were good words.

  3. Some of our personal likes were the same; We both liked to read and to study things that interested us. We had a great time playing miniature golf, driving new roads, seeing new things, having new adventures. We are both romantics and enjoy real life love stories with happy endings. So we DID have a few things going for us.

Yet we have often been asked how did such two incompatible people make a marriage work? Here is what I personally think;

  1. We had a commitment to "divorce never, murder maybe'' (as Lyndell likes to say). Seriously though, we both came to be committed to the words of God and to obeying them on every subject they dealt with, including marriage. I think that is the main thing.

  2. We made compromises on other things. I learned I needed to be a submissive wife, and he learned he needed to nourish and cherish his wife. Sound is now sometimes too loud for me and sometimes he has to strain to hear, but we do TRY to accommodate one another. Sometimes the A/C is too cold for me and sometimes too warm for Lyndell. We compromise on bedtimes when it is possible. He tries not to fuss about the messy house when I have been spending too much time outside or reading. I try not to fuss when he doesn't get things done around the house that I think he needs to do. I watch sports with him and he watches musicals with me. I've gone hunting with him and he took up camping for me, even eating outside. He gave up hunting (too expensive to do as a family) and took up fishing, since we could all do it together without going bankrupt. He has taken me to rodeos, stock shows, & art museums and in return, I have gone places with him that reallydidn't interest me. I continue to go fishing with him, but now I take a book, a chair, and an umbrella so I can sit in the shade and read while he fishes. He gave up things for my sake and I gave up things for his sake.

  3. We finally realized we'd never CHANGE each other - so we had to PUT UP WITH one another in order to have a happy marriage. We now accept one another - perhaps praying for positive changes in each other, but not frustrated with each other.

  4. We realized our marriage would never be dull - it would always be an adventure, and therefore we might as well enjoy the adventure.

WHY DID I TELL YOU ALL OF THIS? So you could see that if both partners are committed and willing to TRY - there can be a very happy and rewarding marriage - no matter how incompatible you are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Corrections: In the January newsletter there were two sad typos: I typed 1 Tim. 3:19 where it should have been 2 Tim. 3:1-8. I also typed 2 Cor. 2:15-16 and it should have been 1 Cor. I hope this didn't confuse you too much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BOOKS I can recommend:

Let Me Be A Woman by Elisabeth Elliot (order from Christian Book Distributors)

Do All To The Glory Of God by Watchman Nee (order from Christian Fellowship Publishers)

11515 Allecingie Pkwy

Richmond, VA 23235

(Many have told me they like to read Watchman Nee but find him "not practical''. Well, THIS book is NITTY-GRITTY practical - on marriage, parenthood, finances, etc.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Most of you already know this but we are happy to announce the birth of our newest grandbaby: Jeslyn Rae Kincaid Ochoa was born February 1 at 6 Lbs and 3 oz. She has reflux and apnea and was in intensive care for a week. She is now home (on a monitor) and we ask you to pray for her and also for Jorge and Suzanna.

P.S.: SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL BABY.

Question: If someone has been judged and dismissed from church fellowship, what happens when they repent?

Answer: We forgive. We restore to fellowship. It is that simple. We do not put "penance" on them or make them wait six months. They are accepted back just as if they had never fallen into that sin. BUT - if they continue to return to their besetting sin and fail to overcome it (I'm talking about the ones listed in 1 Cor. 5), we must let them know that they must give it up - lay it aside (Heb. 12:1-4) or fellowship cannot be maintained. Do we restore and excommunicate the same person for the same sin every day, or even every week? The church cannot continually be in a roller coaster relationship: "in" today and "out" tomorrow. If they are continuing with their fornicating, they ARE a fornicator and we are to have no fellowship with them (1 Cor. 5). There is a big difference in we 'were' one and we 'are' one. (Lk. 17:3-5; Mt. 18:15-18; 2 Cor. 7:1,9- 11; 2:6-11; 12:21; 13:2,5,10; Gal. 5:19-24; 6:1,7-8; Eph. 2:1-10; 4:1-2,17-32; 5:3-12; Ph. 2:12-16; Col. 1:10-13; 3:5- 10,12-14,25; 1 Thess. 2:10-12; 4:1-8; 5:14; 2 Thess. 3:6,14-15; 1 Tm. 1:19-20; 2 Tm. 2:19; Tit. 1:16; 2:11-14; 3:3,8,Kill,14) Paul says to restore in the spirit of meekness, knowing we also can be tempted and overtaken in sin. We forgive because we are forgiven and we regularly need to be forgiven. A broken and contrite heart God will not despise and neither should we. We need to let them know they are forgiven and we need to confirm our love to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A mother's advice to her son when he decided not to go to college: "If you're going to be a bricklayers helper be a GOOD bricklayer s helper" He replied. "And I'll do my best to find a good bricklayer to help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting into the ten-items-or-less lane with more than ten items may not be a felony, but it tends a bad message to your kids. They notice these things. They may think cheating is no big deal. - Shira Boss, in Good Housekeeping Magazine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A father should leave to his children an ethical will - some articles of faith which the child, while not legally bound to accept, is urged to consider. - Sam Levenson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Self-expression includes what not to say as well as what to say.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Children learn that flowers are pretty and dresses are pretty, they can also learn that behavior can be beautiful or ugly, sweet or sour, kind or unkind, just or unjust, tender or cruel. - Sam Levenson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT THE 'MAJORITY MAY BE WRONG?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Holy Scriptures are food for our soul. If believers starved their bodies as much as they starve their souls, they would be dying by the thousands. - Ken Hutcheson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHRIST JESUS CAME INTO THE WORLD TO SAVE SINNERS

##  May 2001

For Women ONLY ......From Verlene Kincoid.......an aged woman........

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things-...teach the young women.." 1 Tim. 5:5-6:

"Now she that is a widow indeed and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth."

In this chapter Paul is dealing with widows who are to be or not to be helped by the church. I immediately think of Anna the prophetess in Luke 2:36-38, thinking it was a custom for the Jewish Temple to assist widows and the church also took on this obligation: to aid widows who were widows "indeed", as Paul makes clear - widows who had no other means of support.

I WAS going to skip over these two verses in dealing with 1 Tim. 5 because I originally wonted to deal with what widows were expected to do when they married again. But Sod just forced me to seriously think about these verses over and over again. In fact they became an obsession in my thinking, therefore I am trusting that He wanted me to deal with them in this lesson.

My mind cannot imagine being left desolate as a widow and yet there have been millions who have been. W£ think being left desolate could not possibly be a blessing, while being left with enough money to live in pleasure would be the ultimate goal. But GOD'S WAYS are not our ways and HIS THOUGHTS are not our thoughts.

Unless I am reading this totally wrong, God is saying the desolate one is the blessed one, while the one living in pleasure is not. Doesn't this strike you as opposite of every other source of so-called wisdom? Remember the widow's mite which she gave as an offering to her Lord? We think of her mite as being a small amount, but Jesus said she had given "all her living". She gave her offering and was left destitute by doing so. Did Jesus call her a fool? I have a glorious feeling she did not lose out by her generous giving to the Lord of all she had.

But here in our verses - where is the blessing found? The desolate widow turns to God in her need -  
and asks His help. Her communion with Sod is definitely not superficial - He is her only hope. It is the NEEDY who seek God. It is the HUNGRY and the THIRSTY that He promises to satisfy.

By-passing (for now) what Paul says about assisting widows - let's think of the two kinds of women he deals with:

  1. One is desolate

  2. One lives in pleasure.

Outwardly, it would seem that the widow who is able to live in pleasure has the best deal. None of us would ask to be left desolate when we are widowed. But the desolate one turns to God in prayer and the other is "dead while she liveth". (That's another of those great phrases in the Bible.)

No matter what else these verses may mean to us - remember this: It is better to be desolate if it draws us to God in faith, than to live in pleasure and be "dead while we live". Not all which seems good - is good. Not all which seems bad -is bad. I personally think that I don't wont to be left desolate, and yet it could evidently be the very best thing that ever happens to me. We walk by faith and not by sight. These very difficult truths have to be accepted by faith. A wealthy young widow living in pleasure is much worse off than a desolate widow who spends night and day in supplications and prayers.

I hove to stop myself often when I begin to pray for my kids to have good jobs and make good money - because The Lord then reminds me that it might not be the best thing for them. In fact it might be the worst thing for them I honestly BELIEVE that, although it is hard for me to think it is good for them when I see them going through financial straights And yet as I look back on my own life, Some of my best memories ore when we were the poorest. I personally like, having enough money to 'live in pleasure", i.e. go out to eat; travel: buy things for myself or my kids; etc. BUT -I DO KNOW by experience, by the testimony of others, and by the Word of Sod - MONEY is dangerous and the love of money is disastrous.

Have you read The Greatest Generation and The Greatest Generation Speaks by Tom Brokow? Have you read We Had Every thing But Money by Sam Levenson? My dad had a book about people who lived through the Great Depression when hunger and a lack of "things' was a way of life for millions here in the good old U.S.A. They managed to be quite happy and speak of their home life as being wonderful. (How is YOUR home life?)

I never knew Lyndell's grandma Kincaid. but I knew her five children. In 1902, at about 30 years of age, she was left a widow, with one boy 11 years old, one boy two months old, and three daughters in between. She did have a three room house (NOTE that I did not say a three bedroom house) and some acreage. But she had no insurance policy except the Lord. She raised 5 children to adulthood who loved Jesus, were upstanding, moral people, and who loved one another dearly. The one I knew the best was Lyndell's dad - and a finer man I hove never met. This widow woman may not have been destitute, but she was close To it. and she trusted the Lord, going to Him in her time of need. And He blessed her faith. Not with materiel riches - but greater riches.

She truly believed if you had insurance it was a lack of faith. I've often wondered what I would have done in her shoes. I'm such a murmerer and worrier, etc. that I don't see myself handling the "desolate" situation too well. But this I KNOW: God is able to handle our lives, and HE KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR US. He clearly tells us that the trial of our faith is good for us, and we should rejoice in it. Ladies - when you begin to "live in pleasure" and are glad that you aren't desolate or destitute - remember that you MAY be "dead while you live"

QUESTION & ANSWER PARAGRAPH: Here are several questions that needed answering;

Question: What would you do if your husband did not care if the marriage succeeded, nor cared about going to church?

Answer: I would do my utmost, by the help of the Lord in me, to commit my husband to the Lord and commit myself to my marriage, to my children and to staying right with Jesus in MY OWN life. I would do my best to Not Nag my husband and to have a meek and quiet spirit when around him. GOD says this is our best route and perhaps our ONLY hope in such circumstances I would then keep my spiritual house in order. (1) I would get on my knees and into the Scripture. (2) I would be faithful to ALL the church services, making SURE my children went with me. (Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God - Rom 10) God says we all need to have the fellowship of other believers as well as needing to edify other believers. I need to gather with the believers, my children need to gather with the believers, and the world needs my testimony that I not only love Jesus in word, but also in deed. (3) I would give my money to the Lord's work and to His workers, even if it meant doing without things I might otherwise have. (4) I would bring my children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, which is very hard to do without the help of a Godly husband - but not impossible to do, therefore I would make that a priority.

IN OTHER WORDS. I would try to put my marriage, my husband, my children, other believers and lost people as more important than myself I say I would try - knowing that I would not be able to do so without the help of the Holy Spirit working in and through me, but I would at least AIM at yielding to Him and not grieving Him. In myself. I am selfish - but He Who is in me isn't; therefore I can put others first if I have a willing, submissive mind.

Question: What do you think of Christians having a TV. or going to movies?

Answer: I personally think movies and TV. are simply tools. They are the same as a radio, a printing press, a telephone, or a computer. Everyone of these things can be used for EVIL, but they can also be used for GOOD. There are evil people using every tool invented by man. but there are Godly people using all these tools to win people to Christ and to edify believers. There is NO DOUBT that MOST of what you will find on TV. is NOT good, and MOST of what you will pay money for when you go to a movie, is not good to see or hear; but in and of themselves they are not evil. II is how YOU choose to use them. And granted, most of us are weak and can easily be influenced for evil (and how much more our children might be influenced wrongly by what we allow them to watch) but do not criticize others for having a TV. in their house if you have a computer in yours. There is probably more pornography and other evil on your computer than on your T.V. It is what we CHOOSE to watch or read that makes it good for us or bad for us. But also keep in mind that every one of these tools can be time-wasters, which can of itself be a real danger We are to REDEEM the time, not WASTE it.

Question: How did you teach or talk with your teenagers about fornication?

Answer: I was very blessed with a husband who took most of that responsibility off of me. We always tried to answer ANY questions asked - no matter how young they were - as honestly and as simply and as concisely as possible Don't go into a lot of detail with young children, but don't lie and always be as plain as needed. They are going to hear all kinds of things from all kinds of people and by other means, so be sure they know the TRUTH from you. Many moms have the FULL responsibility of dealing with this subject with their kids, and if that is your case ask God for wisdom.

Tell them as young as you think they might understand that GOD intends sex to be for a man and his wife and in NO OTHER WAY. Teach them scriptures on this Not only does the scripture say Flee fornication", it tells you why Fornication <sex between anyone except a man and his own wife) is a sin against their own body. They will have consequences that hurt them. Go into detail about unwanted pregnancy and the serious consequences of that Go into detail also about sexually transmitted diseases If you don't know facts yourself - get some from your doctor etc But be sure they understand about syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, Chlamydia. AIDS, etc and what these do to THEIR body

In our day and age. you need to be sure and teach them what the Bible says about homosexuality and lesbianism. There are scriptures that make it CLEAR that God abhors these sins. Go over and over these verses with your children. Make them understand the danger and the wickedness involved in these sins. Even if our nation has been turned over to a reprobate mind and that is why these sins are so rampant (see Romans 1), your children do not have to accept them as a way of life Our nation may force us to politically accept this life style, but as Christians we do not have to approve it. just as we don't have To accept any other fornication (i e living together before marriage) as being right in the eyes of the Lord. Ground your children on what SCRIPTURE says - that IT is truth

WE ARE PRONE TO REMEMBER UNFAIR ACTIONS AGAINST OURSELVES INSTEAD OF OUR OWN UNFAIRNESS TO OTHERS.

If our hearts are set to serve Jesus we cannot fail to come up against problems.

We may have the right views but God wants us to also have a right attitude. We may BE right, but do we LOVE right?

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I HAD ALL THE ANSWERS,

SOMEONE WENT AND CHANGED THE QUESTIONS.

To help resist Satan, you must always remember that he doesn't fight fair. People who are down need our love.

We tend to forget that the more we have, the more we have to maintain.

The consequences of sin may not come IMMEDIATELY, but they WILL come.

Wanting to APPEAR righteous is not the same as wanting to BE righteous.

THE CROSS OP CHRIST REVEALS MAN'S SIN AT ITS WORST. BUT GOD'S LOVE AT IT'S BEST.

##  July- August 2001

For Women ONLY ......From Verlene Kincaid.......an aged woman..

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women..."

My PLANS had been to leave Paul's pastoral Epistles (Timothy and Titus), but there is so much in them for us as women. He is writing to young preachers telling them how to lead and behave in the church, and amazingly he deals a LOT with women.

In 1 Tim. 5, Paul deals a little with widows, but these verses teach a lot about what God expects from all women:

"Well reported of for good works."

Sorry about that - good works just seem to pop up throughout the epistles. If you hate that, you hate the Scriptures. Not only was she to have done good works, it was to be well-known that she did them. And on top of that, she had to have been diligent In doing them. He mentions just a few;

  1. Bringing up children

Have you ever thought that just being a good mom is a 'good work"

  2. Lodging strangers

Perhaps a missionary/evangelist that she cheerfully lodges when the pastors ask for volunteers?

  3. Washing the saints feet

Perhaps in her house when they came in off the dusty streets - or by ministering to the saints through the water' of the Word

  4. Relieving the afflicted

In verse 13 there is a warning which all of us can apply to ourselves (see also v. 15). We don't want to become IDLE - not doing good works. We mustn't wander about among the houses of our friends, neighbors and relatives, being tattlers and busybodies, saying things we shouldn't say.

In verse 14 there is MORE for a good wife to DO: (to help keep you BUSY and NOT IDLE)

  1. Guide the house (Remember "keepers at home*?)

  2. Don't give any occasion to the adversary (Satan - v. 15) to speak reproachfully.

We should be DILIGENT in following after every good work - we have a LORD and we have an ADVERSARY.

In 1 Tim. 6: 6 A 8, we have two verses we should memorize or at least put up on our refrigerators:

"Godliness with contentment is great gain."

"Having food and raiment let us be therewith content/ Wives, we must learn to be content with what our husbands can afford to provide for us. It is NOT a sin to be poor, but it 15 a sin to be covetous. If your husband can only afford beans and cornbread (or tortillas) along with 'thrift store' clothes; be therewith content. If you push him to be rich (or richer than he is) you will both fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish & hurtful lusts. (Read the whole chapter.) Some who have coveted after money, have erred from the faith and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. If you can have godliness with contentment, you have gained more than most people olive have ever had. Paul says it is GREAT gain. He tells us to follow after:

Righteousness Godliness Faith

Love Patience Meekness

and NOT after money.

Oh, by the way - he says if you ARE RICH: Do good and be rich in good works.

2 Tim. 1:5: "...the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice;..."

Doesn't that encourage you? It does me. What a great joy to know that your faith is accepted by your daughter and your grandson, and on top of that, that God called him to preach the gospel. It is a valuable lesson for us to know that we CAN influence our children and our grandchildren. If we are REAL, they will know it, and God will use it to work in their minds and hearts. If our faith is feigned (hypocritical), they will know that also, and Satan will use it to gain a foothold. Take these two women and contrast them to the women mentioned in 2 Tim. 3:6: "...silly women laden with sins."

2 Tim. 3:15: 'And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are ABLE to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus." What a great testimony to his mother and his grandmother who not only had REAL faith, but who knew the value of knowing the Scriptures. How many of you are consistently teaching your children (or grandchildren) to know the holy scriptures? The word of God is what is able to give wisdom unto salvation through faith (Rom. 10:17). The Word is the most important thing your child needs to know. If you fail him there, you have completely failed him. We need to read it to them, get them to memorize it (putting it into music and singing it with them is a huge help here - especially with young children), and get them to LOVE it. Let them know how much you love it, how much you trust it, and how important it is in your everyday life. Be sure your children can say that from a child they have known the holy scriptures. They will rise up and call you blessed (Proverbs 31).

QUESTION & ANSWER PARAGRAPH: Question: You mentioned that Lyndell's grandmother believed having insurance was a lack of faith. Where do you stand on that?

Answer: We went a long time with no health insurance, but when Eddie (our oldest son) came down with spinal meningitis and someone who loved us felt they should bail us out of our hospital and doctor bills, we reconsidered. The circumstances have changed a lot since 1902. In our society, we are almost forced to have insurance \- to protect ourselves and every one else. If I injure someone in a car wreck, who will pay for their needs if I neglect to carry insurance? If I go into the hospital without insurance, either I will be in debt the rest of my life; the hospital and the doctor will have to wait on their money; or else the government, a charitable organization or a loved one will step in and pay my bill for me. The bill will be paid by someone. Either you as the debtor, you as a taxpayer, or you as a donor to the charitable organization. But the bill must be paid. We used to tell ourselves that we could pay it off after the fact' as easily as pay for it ahead of time with insurance But that is no longer the case. Due to the extremely high cost of medical care, as compared to what it used to be, we cannot think that way anymore.

A dear friend once explained insurance to me in this way - it is simply "shared risk". We all pool our money so that when a financial disaster does occur to someone who has contributed to the pool, there will be enough money to pay the bill without any one person bearing the burden all alone. Now yes, that can be considered lack of faith - or it can be considered being a good steward. In truth, even most government is "shared risk". Everyone pays taxes in order to have armies, policemen, firemen, etc. so that when an emergency does happen, they will be there for us. If it is absolutely impossible for me to feed and clothe my family and at the same time pay for insurance, I will trust God to get us through any disaster that comes our way. But if I have the money to buy insurance, and choose instead to spend it on personal pleasures or trinkets, what right do I have to expect others to foot the bill for me if disaster comes? Yes, God can see me through any situation - of that, I have no doubt at all. But does He not expect me to take care of my own if I have the money to do so? I personally think He does (See 1 Tm. 5:8)

When difficulties overwhelm:

  1. Don't try to solve them by yourself. Do not struggle and fret. Do not murmur and complain.

Do all you can about your difficulties and then put them into God's hands, trusting Him to work them out for you.

  2. Pray for wisdom and believe He will give it to you.

  3. Ask Him to give you His peace that passes understanding. Quote aloud every day. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee" (Is. 26:3)

  4. Remind yourself that even this difficulty and bad experience will pass away.

  5. Ask the Lord for the strength you need to handle your problems.

  6. God cares for you - never forget that great truth. Turn to Him in your time of need instead of turning away from Him.

  7. Remember all humans experience really serious troubles, trials and temptations; you are not the only one who has faced this particular difficulty.

  8. God is our refuge and strength, a VERY PRESENT HELP in trouble. God WILL see you through this situation. Simply trust Him.

We need to return to some basics: Jesus alone. Scripture alone. Faith alone.

When John the Baptist preached repentance he was specific. He dealt with particular sins of the publicans, the soldiers, and the common people. He drove the Sadducees and Pharisees away from his baptism - demanding "fruits meet for repentance". He faced Herod rebuking him for having his brother's wife and for all the evils which he had done. Jesus too was specific, listing particular sins. Nowadays preachers say, "We do not point our finger at anyone." Others say, "We do not judge or condemn." Where are the Paul's who will rebuke the Peters to the face? Where are the Timothy's who will obey Paul and openly rebuke those who sin? May God give us FAITHFUL preachers, not those who substitute good vibes and trouble-free living for the commands of the Master. Do we demand that our preachers please our desires for self-gratification and self-esteem? Do we want Bible teachers who give us a "feel good" theology to match and justify our lives of sinful rebellion? Or do we want preachers who follow the advice given to preachers in Timothy and Titus?

Economic poverty alone does not produce delinquency. If it did, my brothers and sister should all have become gangsters, as should most people in the world, since most of the world is poor. - Sam Levinson

The child, rich or poor, bereft of love and a decent family life, ia indeed deprived. - Sam Levinson

Spurgeon said:

Be an out-and-out Christian or let Christianity alone. Half-hearted people hinder the work of the Lord.

The state or condition of a local assembly Is not governed by Its smallness or largeness but by the spiritual content within It. - Watchman Nee

Anyone who thinks child rearing is easy doesn't have children.

Feeling is not our standard of duty, but the Word of the Lord.

Not, "How feelest thou?"; but "How readest thou? What is written?"

A MODEST PERSON DESIRES THE RESPECT, NOT THE LUST, OF OTHERS.

A marriage and a church are like the stock market. There are regular ups and downs, sometimes even huge ups and downs, but you are in it for the long haul • so be a knot and hold on.

IT IS AMAZING HOW PEOPLE WILL AGONIZE OVER THE POSSIBILITY OF MAD COW INFECTED MEAT, WHICH CAUSED ABOUT 90 CASES OF HUMAN INFECTION OVER THE LAST FIVE YEARS; YET WILL HAPPILY SELL TOBACCO, WHICH RESULTS IN ABOUT ONE DEATH PER MINUTE IN EUROPE. - J. GLAUSEIESZ

(AND - IT IS MORE AMAZING THAT SO-CALLED CHRISTIANS WOULD AGONIZE OVER EITHER ONE, MORE THAN OVER SOULS DYING BY THE MILLIONS - ON THEIR WAY TO HELL. - VERLENE)

You can't pick or choose the part of your husband you want to keep and the part you want to throw away - you've got to accept the whole package.

THE BIBLE SAYS THAT AT THE NAME OF JESUS EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW.

##  October 2001

For Women ONLY ...... From Verlene Kincaid .......on aged woman ......

Titus 2:3-5: 'The aged women...be... teachers of good things:... teach the young women.."

PERSONAL I never reported on our world evangelism conference in April. We had some really good meetings and a few GREAT messages. Our morning open meetings for prayer are always some of our best, and this year was no exception. Although none of our missionaries in Poland were able to come - they were in our hearts and thoughts. Some good things have begun to happen over there.

Also in April, my mom died of heart failure and is now present with the Lord. We are very grateful that it was quick, as mom really did not want to linger here in a helpless condition. None of us want that of course, and although some of us do have to go through it, I am pleased that she didn't. I thank all of you who have prayed for her so faithfully these last years.

In May, Lyndell went to Poland to preach with our missionaries there. He was gone for three weeks, which seemed like a long time to me, but he was kept busy and did enjoy the fellowship. In June, we went to Colorado for a revival meeting and in July, we had our family reunion (for our immediate family). Everyone was able to come except Amanda, who was in China. In August, Lyndell went to Mexico to preach at a pastor's conference, and then to Colorado for a mission conference. On September 7th, Amanda got in from China, and we rejoice to have her in the USA.

And NOW of course we have been faced with this national tragedy of horrific proportions. One of the young men in our church said people at college were asking him why God would allow this to happen? His dad told him to ask them, "Why not?" This nation is a sinful nation, allowing thousands of babies to be murdered by abortion every year; accepting fornication, homosexuality, adultery, idolatry and other such things which GOD clearly says are abominations. Why should anyone think He is obligated to deliver our nation from tragedies? Do we think He has no right to allow any person on earth to suffer pain, suffering, heartache or loss? Let us not judge God.

Yes, my heart truly grieves for these thousands of homes where a husband, wife, mother, father, son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter, cousin, aunt, or uncle, has died under such terrible, unthinkable circumstances. Our anger rises against wicked people who are so calloused as to do such an ungodly thing to other human beings. As to the Christians who are suffering from their heartbreak of loss or pain due to these dastardly deeds, we say God knows, understands, and CARES. Whether you believe that or not doesn't change the fact that it is true. Although he allows these things to happen, it does not make His love for the world (John 3:16) any less than it is in truth.

But as C. S. Lewis so aptly puts it in his book The Problem of Pain: "We cannot help but be thinking about this dire affliction, therefore let us think about it to some practical purpose. Nothing comes in the form of calamity without the permission, control, and overruling of the Lord. Many minds are so stunned by this tremendous blow that th e problem staggers their reason, and they are unable to leave it among the mysteries of faith. As) et they have not gained the confidence of Job, who attributed his affliction to the Lord. Don't question this - for our God is none the less glorious because His ways are above and out of sight.

"If God be not everywhere, he is nowhere; omnipresence is an essential of the Godhead. If His hand ruleth not over evil, it is not omnipotent, which is another essential attribute of deity. The presence of evil is, according to our faith, subordinate to the great Lord of all. He reigns in the calm summer's day and gives us the precious fruits of harvest; but He is equally present in the hurricane which destroys, or the blight which desolates. He can call for a famine and break the whole staff of bread. In the things which seem to us to be evil, as well as the events which appear to us to be good, God is at work We freely admit we do not understand this and therefore we do not attempt to explain it, but we believe His Word.

"We need not justify the ways of God to man; He asks no defense from us and does not give any account of His doings; this only is our resolve - along with Job, "Though He slay me yet will I trust Him." The question is this: If God controls, why does He permit these terrible evils? Why does He not intervene? The REAL question is: Why is there any evil at all? This is the old puzzle which none can answer. Why does not God just kill Satan and not allow evil? But not one of our clever theories will alter facts. It is quite certain that there is evil in the world, and yet it is also certain that God rarely interposes to stop evil from coming into the lives of even His very own people. There are some who would dare rail upon God and yet it is a very small matter to the Most High what such persons think of Him. He does as He pleases and asks no permission of any of us.

"What if every time a great danger threatened, we might expect God to rescue us from it - what then? This would change the whole arrangement of His world, which is governed by certain fixed laws. He can suspend His taws anytime He pleases; He can quench the violence of fire, stop the mouths of lions, and make water to stand up in a heap, but He has not often done so. God does not interpose to keep godly people from the consequences of Adam's fall. Tragedies do not only come to the worst of sinners. Never draw an inference from any tragedy as to the character of the persons to whom tragedy comes, for if you do, you very easily could be guilty of cruel injustice. You will find that sometimes men of bad character escape while saints are left to die.

"If the farmers decided not to plant this year, the world would face starvation. Then if God intervened and rained corn down from heaven in order that these teeming millions not starve, what would be the consequence? It would encourage idleness everywhere because we would all say. The Lord is too good to let us starve, therefore why should we labor so hard - why not dance away the hours? Suppose we all neglected sanitary laws, thinking that a merciful God would never let us die of fever, or cholera, etc. - then the f filthiness of our cities would increase and we would pollute the whole earth into one monstrous globe of stench. Even pests, plagues, and pains have their good side - they are watchmen to give us warning.

"It appears wise and good for all concerned that, having made man, the Creator should leave him to take the consequences of violating His fixed laws rather than making those laws variable and uncertain. God knows His arrangement of letting physical law take its course is the best arrangement, (or even letting the actions of wicked men go according to their plan), although at times it brings tragedy and heartache to even His own beloved children.

"In answer to prayer God can work in His own way for the good of His people without stopping one single wheel of His laws from turning. He may not alter the way in which the world goes on, and yet He can bring up the righteous from deep distress. Mordecai went from the King's gate to the King's house, while Haman ascended from the King's table to the King's gallows."

This is a time when we must simply trust God and do what He tells us to do. As our pastor Steve so aptly put it in his sermon just two days before this tragedy: We are to spread the gospel everywhere and in anyway we can; we are to live moral, godly lives and be shining lights; and we are to pray. These are three things we as individual believers CAN do to help our nation. Real truth is only found in Jesus and in His written words (the Scriptures). If our nation hopes to find truth anywhere else, it is terribly mistaken. Our nation has been blessed above most nations in the history of the world, but we cannot expect to reject God's revealed, explicit will and continue to be so blessed. May this nation truly see this as a wake up call and take a stand for Jesus and the Bible. I was thankful that Billy Graham did get the resurrection of Jesus Christ into his message, and that the Methodist pastor did end his prayer in Jesus' name. Too many are terrified to do so, and what a SHAME for anyone who CALLS himself a Christian to stay politically correct' out of fear, when their testimony for Jesus is so .desperately needed. When people are blind to the gospel of Jesus Christ, we cannot hate them for being blind. We ourselves were once blind. We need to love them and be faithful ambassadors to them for Jesus' sake (and their own).

PARENTS: Your children also have to deal with this terrorism situation They always need you to be  
there for them, but they need your strength now more than ever. Show them your faith and help  
get their minds off of it by doing things with them. This is a TOGETHER list - for all the family.

  1. Go outside and watch the stars with them, teaching them the North Star, Big Dipper

  2. Take your kids door-knocking or visiting the lost or visiting church absentees

  3. Take a walk with all of the family (Or biking, or hiking, or go to the park, or zoo)

  4. Have a family 'game night'(or if needed - a family 'talk night'')

  5. Watch old videos of the family - or go through an old album with them

  6. Take turns telling Bible stories about heroes of the faith (named in Heb. 11)

  7. Take a hot meal to a shut-in, visit someone in a nursing home

  8. Help an elderly church member with chores

  9. Spruce up the back yard together, plant a tree, or a shrub, or some bulbs

MEXICO NEWS: Martin & Chayo Hernandez were sent out from the church in Aguascalientes as missionaries to Zacatecas.

QUESTION: My husband and I are constantly arguing and I think it is detrimental to our children. What should I do about the situation?

ANSWER: KEEP QUIET. If you never argue - there will be NO ARGUMENTS. Your meek and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3) will solve the problem.

Although it does happen, a delinquent child from a good home and an upright child from a bad home are both exceptions.

No one should get married until he is willing to give up many liberties.

It is wounding when a husband criticizes his wife, but it is equally wounding when a wife criticizes her husband.

If you want a marriage full of love, you cannot afford the luxury of resentment or self-pity or anger.

WHEN YOUR HUSBAND IS HOME, MAKE HIM GLAD TO BE THERE.

Jesus says that His Word is truth (John 17:17). All words contrary to His Words are false

It is the Lord who provides the PATTERN, the PURPOSE, and the POWER for a change in our behavior.

JESUS CHRIST IS SAVIOUR, LORD, KING, GOD, THE CHRIST, THE ROCK, THE LAMB, THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE - there is none other name given among men whereby we MUST be SAVED.

#  2002

## January 2002

For Women ONLY...... From Verlene Kincaid .......an aged woman ......

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women... be. .teachers of good things:...teach the young women..."

This lesson is one of the hardest I have ever tried to follow.

Eph. 5:15-33 Read it and heed it, as the Holy Spirit works in you and helps you

Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord - (& in the fear of - v. 21)

For the husband is the head of the wife

Even as Christ is the head of the church THEREFORE (conclusion)

LET the wives be subject to their own husbands in every thing Husbands love your wives - even as Christ loved the church (v 2 also) and gave himself for it as your own bodies - nourishing and cherishing as yourselves The wife see that she reverence her husband.

Are these WORDS clear to you? Do you understand the words which God chose to use?

(In school I was taught to read with a dictionary nearby and to look up ANY word that I wasn't SURE of its meaning. That is a very good practice when we read the scripture)

To SUBMIT means to yield/give up resistance/surrender to the power, will, judgment, or authority of another.

To BE SUBJECT means to be under another's dominion, to give allegiance to and be governed by (U.S. citizens are subject to the U.S. Government).

The word REVERENCE means a fear mingled with respect and affection and esteem; To count not as one to belittle or criticize. Reverence differs from awe because it implies affection, where awe does not; we feel reverence for a parent, we stand in awe of a tyrant.

I looked those up to be sure what I thought they meant was what they really did mean. You might also want to look up love, nourish, and cherish.

THEN, we really should understand what God Himself wants out of us in our marriage.

In the 20th century, we seem to have totally reversed God's plan: Men want their wives to nourish and cherish them, and Women want their husbands to submit and be in subjection to them. Men want their wives to love them as their own bodies, and Women want their husbands to reverence them.

And even worse, the men want the nourishing, cherishing & love, PLUS the submission - while the women want the submission, PLUS the nourishing & cherishing love. Both of us (wives and husbands) want it ALL. Satan laughs at us when we do things according to our own thoughts instead of according to God's words.

Question: What is the difference between submission and obedience? (We covered obedience when we studied Titus 2)

Answer: Submission is a matter of attitude, while obedience is a matter of conduct You can obey without being submissive, and vice versa.

A wife may make suggestions to her husband, yet she must not show an unsubmissive attitude, even when, because of conscience, there is an inability to obey, there can still be submission.

Let us pay close attention to what these verses do NOT say. They do not tell husbands to force us into submission - It is for us to see to It that we do it. We may give our opinions, our desires, our preferences, our will, our choice, etc. (and if he loves you - nourishing and cherishing you - he will consider your desires and opinions as he tries to make wise decisions), but when the final decision has to be made, it is up to the husband to make it, and up to us to yield to his decision without murmuring or complaining Someone has to yield or the marriage will be a battlefield, and God says the wife is the one who should yield to the husband.

LIKE IT OR NOT - this is God's plan and we should choose to go by His plan.

"God's way of speaking to us today is through the WORDS He has already spoken. If you are unfamiliar with the Scriptures, you do not have the foundation you need to build a life of joy. God has spoken, let us hear & heed," - Watchman Nee

QUESTION: What do you suggest when a teenager constantly has a messy room?

ANSWER: Teenagers seem to have a need to rebel at something. This very thing happened to us, and we thought it was caused by a serious illness he had come through. But ft happened again with some of our children who had not been it at all. My advice? There are too many more important things tor you to be very strict about. I would explain clearly WHY the room needs to be kept clean (& why It is Important to you) but then leave ft to him as to how clean he keeps It. If this frustrates you too much, close the door. If your house is clean and neat, you have set a good example, and he has experienced the pleasant aspect of neatness. But we have to begin letting them make decisions on their own wherever possible. This, to me, is a minor decision and I chose to let them make It.

If you can't handle this advice, my second option would be to go in the room and clean It yourself. THAT should get his attention, because teenagers not only want to be self- asserting, they also want privacy. And perhaps his desire for privacy will outweigh his desire for rebelling In this matter of not cleaning his room

There are some areas of life that you CANNOT let them be rebellious about As long as they are under your roof, you must be sure they are disciplined when they rebel in those areas But it is worth your time To plan ahead about what Will be important and what you can let slide. Choose your battles. They do have to grow up and leave you. Start as early as possible to let them make many decisions & live with the consequences. This is how they learn to make really important decisions.

ARE YOU BEING CHANGED FROM THE INSIDE OUT, OR ARE YOU STILL MAD AT GOD FOR ALL HIS RULES?

BIBLE READING FOR 2002:

The Christian life is lived by laying hold of the WORDS of God and trusting them. You need to know WHERE HIS WORDS ARE TO BE FOUND, and you need to read them on a regularly scheduled reading program. JOB said he considered God's words more valuable than his "necessary food" (Job 23:12). Do you? Does your church?

Here are some ideas as you plan this year's Bible Reading Schedule:

  1. New Believers: Read the Gospel of John completely through three or four times and then read the entire New Testament, and then the Bible all the way through.

  2. Middle-aged Believers: If you have gotten this far along and have never read it - do as above. For those of you who have started reading the NT. every year, but have never gotten past the four gospels, start this year with Acts through Revelation, and back to the gospels, and then to the Old Testament.

  3. Old-Timers: You've read it and studied it. This year try reading the books according to alphabetical order I did that last yea- and thoroughly enjoyed the change

SOMETHING I DID THAT I CAN RECOMMEND DOING:

When I was young and raising my children, I made what I called "MY HAPPY BOOK". I made a scrapbook and pasted in it things that brought great memories; stories from magazines that were realty funny or especially sweet or truly inspiring; jokes A witty sayings; the cute things my kids did or said, etc. When I had a bad day or a blue day, I would sit down and read in this special book. It always lifted me out of myself and brought me to think on good things.

Another thing I did that I Thought was good for my children. although I Started doing it for my own sanity: I wrote on 8x11 sheets of paper great verses from the Bible, other good quotes, or something funny that taught a great truth, and I put them on the side of my refrigerator with a magnet. Every time I walked by, I couldn't help but read the quote, and when my children were able to read, they were force fed these great thoughts. (I changed them at least once a week if not daily.) I personally think short poems and witty sayings are great teaching methods, as are scripture verses set to music.

BOOKS: I was asked to recommend books and I have. I will continue doing U. BUT - many dear Christians do not have the money to buy the books (been there). There are literally thousands of books on how to live the Christian life, how to build a good marriage, how to raise Godly children, etc. and the real difficulty lies in knowing which ones 10 buy even if we have the money. Many of you cannot afford to buy the books I have recommended, but do not lose heart. Here is advice for you. Go to a store and buy an inexpensive New Testament - you CAN still buy the King James Version and you CAN still find a cheap one. This is the one and only book YOU CAN TRUST ABSOLUTELY. Read it with a red pen in your hand, marking every verse you find dealing with the subject you are wanting to learn. You can use a concordance to study a subject, but I have found that I get a lot more out of it for myself, if I go through the N.T. with my pen in hand and underline every verse about my subject. In this way, even the poorest of us can learn what we need to know - and we don't have to wait until we can afford to buy books by good authors. It might not be as pleasant at first, but eventually it will be the most pleasant way for you to learn.

Paul got to preach to Caesar's household at Rome's expense. Paul was the prisoner, but Augustus' Band (Acts 27:1) got to hear the gospel because of it. Some of them were saved (Acts 27:1,3.43; 28:16: Phil. 1:13-17; 4:22). The Apostle might have been bound, but the Word of God wasn't.

If you let your child successfully defy you during his first five years, stubbornly flouting your rules, he will have a contempt of all rules. If he wins the confrontations and battles now, (telling you "no" or ignoring you - and getting away with it) he will be more and more open in his disrespect and the teen years will be a disaster. Set the tone early about who sets the rules and who must obey them.

I ask ten questions and the Lord asks only one:

I ask:

Why do you permit this? How long can I endure it?

What possible purpose does it serve? Have you forgotten me?

Have I wearied you? Have I offended you? Have you cast me off?

Where did I miss your guidance? When did I lose the way?

Do you see my despair?

The Lord asks:

Are you trusting me?

\- Ruth Harms Calkins

TAKE TIME TO LOVE - ITS GODLY.

Spiritual beginning and spiritual growth come from hunger and thirst. Unless a man is physically dead he win have a desire for water and food If a person is spiritually alive, he will have a hunger and thirst for the things of God

If we ad not have a fixed time to "go into our closet and pray", we probably will end up not praying at all.

Acceptance and relinquishment of our own will In any particular matter are the keys to our peace. The

Lord gives and the Lord takes. Accept what He gives and relinquish what He takes - JOYFULLY.

JESUS IS GOD.

## 

##  February 2002

For Women ONLY ...... From Verlene Kincaid ....... an aged woman ......

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women..."

"...IT IS GOOD TO BE ZEALOUSLY AFFECTED ALWAYS IN A GOOD THING" Gat. 4:18

As we found out on September 11th, people can be zealous in a bad thing. BUT that does not excuse us from being zealous always - in a good thing.

I have been thinking a lot about our mission conferences (ours is scheduled for March 24-31). For some who don't know - a missionary is someone with a special mission, as in "Mission Impossible". In Christian lingo it means an evangelist with a special mission in a special place. We had some years at 602 Oak Knoll where almost every mission (world evangelism) conference, people were surrendering their lives to spread the gospel around the world. We sent some of our own to Guatemala, Brazil, Mexico, Korea, Puerto Rico, and Poland. For a time, the Lord seemed to have us concentrate on Mexico. Our missionaries planted and watered and groaned in their spirits - longing for the increase. And when God gave it - it was something to behold. Now, we are groaning in our spirits for Poland - may God give the increase there as abundantly as He did in Mexico.

Recently though, we hove not had this great thrill of seeing our young (or old) people responding with joy to the call of God. Could it be that He is no longer calling? Could we as a church have lost our first love? Are our ears dull of hearing? Our hearts hardened by sin? Have we forsaken Jesus, having loved this present world? Where is the joy we once had in giving beyond our measure? Some were willing to give anything for the Lord. One of our young men gave up two beautiful, expensive dogs - simply because he was afraid he loved and wanted them too much. Another one gave his valuable coin collection and donated almost everything he earned (when he really needed it) to help build our first building. A lot of people donated afternoons (after work) and Saturdays to labor on that building - giving up time that was as valuable to them then, as ours is to us now. They were willing to sacrifice for the sake of the Lord Jesus Christ. Some of our young men would meet to pray and pray all night long. They had to be told not to go into the hospitals and witness to the critically ill about hell. They had to be told not to leave tracts in Catholic churches. When the young people had fellowship, it was going preaching or visiting, or praying, etc. And they had some great times together.

ZEAL? In those days Lyndell had to try and tame it a little. But those young people wanted to do something about a world on the way to hell. They wanted to do MORE than pray and give their money, although they did both. They wanted to give their LIVES.

Where IS that zeal? Some of these same people still have most of that same zeal 20+ years later. But where are the 20 year olds to follow in their footsteps? Where are the young zealots who love not the world, nor the things of the world, but do care about serving Jesus and spreading the gospel? Where are the ones who say the riches and pleasures of this world cannot be compared to the joy of pleasing Jesus and hearing a "well done" from Him? Where are the wimpy looking guys (but real men) who are bold as lions, while they put to shame those who seek the things and praise of this world? Where are the ones who have to be restrained and counseled to use their zeal wisely? Where are those who are cheerfully willing to be fools for Christ? I'm longing and asking God to once again do a work in our midst that no one can believe - even when we tell them. Is He able? Oh definitely! Are we willing for it to come? I hope so!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Question and Answer Section:

Question: The question most asked me in regard to submission, subjection, and obedience to a

husband is: What if he's a drunkard? A druggie? Completely immoral? A pornographer or a lover of it? A tyrant? A wastrel? A sluggard? A selfish, spiteful person? Mean spirited? And on and on......

Answer: This question does not have one easy answer. Can we leave our husbands tor just any old reason? Well, God will not stop you. You are at liberty to do what you want. All I can do for you is to show you what God says to you, and the consequences He mentions in His Scripture.

If we knew our guy drank, smoked pot, cheated people, was a liar, had a terrible temper, was a fornicator, spent way more than he earned, couldn't hold a job, etc. - then we kind of asked for what we've got. Did we naively think he'd get better because of his great love for us? Well, we were mistaken - they are usually on their best behavior when dating.

All marriage is a risk. In fact, no one really knows the person they marry and we have no guarantees. But a little common sense before saying "I do" helps a lot.

But my saying this doesn't help you NOW. So you ask, "What can I do?" Or else you say, "I'm tired of trying - I'm getting out!" Getting out is not your best answer, for many reasons. The main reason being it's not what God's Word advises. If you can't trust God, to whom will you go? No one else has the answer. Your own wisdom can't compare to Gods. So my advice would be to simply humble yourself to God - He gives grace to the humble (1 Pet. 5:5) and always responds to a broken and contrite heart (Ps. 34:18; 51:17; Isa. 57:15; 66:2). Go to Jesus for grace to help in this your time of need (Heb. 4:16). He really will strengthen you. (Phil. 4)

I freely admit that I have not been in your shoes. God delivered me from that when He changed my husband early in our marriage. All I know to tell you is that the whole tenor of the New Testament is that God wants us to be patient, longsuffering and forgiving - and yes, even rejoicing in our trials and difficult circumstances. I'm not telling you it is easy - or that all Christians are strong enough; just that God expects more of us than we think we are able to put up with.

You can have the victory in your sad situation. Others have. God tells us to put up with the trials He sends or allows. His Scripture tells us He expects us to rejoice in persecutions, tribulations and trials. To endure hardness. To be sweet and forgiving toward those who despitefully use us. This takes unfeigned faith.

Could I do it if I were in your shoes? I don't know, but I know I'd want to. I know He could do it in me if I would allow Him. I know that because I trust His words about these things.

My advice? Pray and ask God for mercy, grace, strength and peace! And then? You must deal with yourself. I find when we start judging ourselves (1 Cor. 11:31) and our own sins (1 Jn. 1:9) - we are a little more patient with those who sin against us. Don't let yourself off the hook. Deal with yourself first, and then make your requests and supplications (about your husband) be known to God, WITH THANKSGIVING. (Phil. 4:1-9). Don't forget the thanksgiving!

AND THEN? Remedy what you can about your situation. Here are a few things I think I'd try if I were where you are:

  1. He's a drunkard? Kindly beseech him to get help. If he refuses, do your best to avoid him when he's drinking - work in the yard, take the kids to the 200 or park, read in your bedroom, read to the kids in their bedroom, etc. But BE KIND to your husband. He might already hate himself for what he's doing - but you won't help by being ugly. Don't let the kids despise him. Teach them that we can love the sinner and yet hate the sin. They need to love their dad - and they need their dad (such as he is).

  2. He's a drug addict? Same advice as above

  3. He's immoral? Immoral people usually get caught. If he steals or cheats, he will have to live with the consequences of those sins. You need to be prepared, because as the wife, you will suffer also. If he goes to jail, you'll have to support yourself (and the kids if you have any) plus bearing the humiliation that goes with such a situation

  4. He's a tyrant? If he doesn't physically abuse you, just do what you are able to do to make him happy and endure (with meekness) his rages when he yells or curses or belittles, etc The meeker you are, the more ashamed he'll be (1 Pet. 3). A soft answer turns away wrath (Prov 15:1), but yelling for yelling and screaming for screaming, just causes worse problems.

  5. He's a wastrel? You may have to suffer greatly until he loses everything to creditors, or etc. When he has no credit and no money, he'll have to stop spending. But so will you. If you can kindly get him to face the fact of his mismanagement and willingly choose to let you manage the money – that could work - if you keep a submissive attitude (as a helper and not the boss). If not, you'll probably be poor - but being poor is not a sin, just distasteful and unpleasant. (But remember the lesson on the destitute widow.)

  6. He's lazy? Won't work? Can't hold a job? Same as above. You'll have to let him suffer the consequences, but since he's your husband, you suffer too. But remember - so do women whose husbands die; or become crippled; or go blind, etc It's just less shameful, but the suffering is just as hard. You can endure - others have. In the face of adversity, many women pull away from God. They say they can't take it anymore. But the blessing of pleasing God comes by faith, and He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him (Heb. 11:6).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BOOKS: I sincerely hope you'll read Shadow of the Almighty by Elisabeth Elliot. It is about Jim Elliot & VERY MUCH worth your time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you complain about our government.....ask yourself: Would I like to move to Bosnia, Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Cuba or Rwanda? - Cathy Lechner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MOMS: Taking care of yourself is not being selfish; it is really a very caring thing to do for those who need you and love you, and whom you love. Jesus doesn't take only the best. He takes the ones that are considered throwaways as well.

Helpful Ideas:

**For Birthday Cakes: Use Lifesaver Candies as candleholders. They are colorful, edible, and simple.

**To keep foods cold on a buffet table: Fill plastic bags with ice and use them to line the bottom of a basket. Place a pretty linen towel over the bags and then put the serving dish on the ice.

**Blend any vegetables your kids won't eat and add to spaghetti sauce. Most kids will love it and won't know how good it is for them. (But if they ask - don't tell them what's in it.)

**Add beets to chocolate cake - this also gives them extra nourishment in a sweet way.

** SMILE OFTEN!

*****************************************************

THE MORE YOU GIVE, THE MORE YOU GET.

THE MORE YOU LAUGH, THE LESS YOU'LL FRET.

THE MORE YOU DO UNSELFISHLY,

THE MORE YOU LIVE ABUNDANTLY.

THE MORE YOU LOVE, THE MORE YOU'LL FIND

THAT LIFE IS GOOD AND FRIENDS ARE KIND.

FOR ONLY WHAT WE GIVE AWAY

ENRICHES US FROM DAY TO DAY. - Anonymous

*****************************************************

A sour man or woman is one of the crowning works of Satan.

****************************************************

Ruth got out of the house, got to work, got noticed, and got blessed.

****************************************************

When you are mired in self-criticism and feeling like a failure, ask yourself: "If my best friend were in this dilemma what would I tell her?" You would be supportive and encouraging. Do the same for yourself.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

WE CAN'T REMOVE EACH OTHER'S PAIN, BUT WE CAN DILUTE IT.

+++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++++++

JESUS IS LORD!

##  May 2002

For Women ONLY ........From Verlene Kincaid....... an aged woman.......

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

1 Corinthians Chapter 7 (Please read the whole chapter in your KJV)

This chapter deals very plainly with sex, being single, staying single, being married, staying married, etc. There are some who are going to say that there are verses in this chapter "hard to understand", but if you are one of those who think that, ignore those verses and only deal with the ones that are "easy to understand". There are plenty of those.

I promised you (because you asked) that I would get back to the sexual side of love. Millions of people have sex without love and many have sex without marriage. But God created men and women as sexual beings and through the sexual act to bring children into this world. Not only is it physically and mentally dangerous to have sex outside of marriage, it is also disastrous for the children. It was God who created us and it was God who planned for us to have sex in a man/woman, husband/wife relationship. God wants children to have a dad and a mom who love them, nurture them, train them, discipline them, provide for them, etc. Children of unwed or divorced parents have many more problems and do not have the same protection and security they have in a home where they live with both of their own parents. I will not try and prove this statement at this time, but it is provable. There are exceptions of course (thankfully) but why should we tempt God to make exceptions for us by willingly choosing to not follow His Words. I call that presumption. Jesus called it "tempting the Lord your God". Yes, sex IS a part of God's plan, but He does have rules about it, for our own and the benefit of mankind in general. Paul says in this chapter that it is is good if a man could refrain from ever touching a woman. But then he adds his "nevertheless". To avoid fornication every man should have his own wife and every woman should have her own husband. That is one of those "easy" to understand verses. In order to engage in a sexual relationship a man and a woman must be married or else it is fornication. Since Christians are to abstain from and flee from fornication, they need to get married if they have a need for sex.

A godly man can have everything else a wife could provide for him without the need of marriage. A godly woman can have everything else a man can provide for her and never get married. Men can hire maids and cooks, etc. and women can hire plumbers and mechanics, etc. and can be godly while doing so. But they mustn't hire someone for sex, or even accept it freely - that is a sin. They must make a marriage commitment for this if they want to live godly in Christ Jesus. Read 1 Cor. 6:9-20 with chapter 7 and you'll see this very clearly. Therefore Paul says "nevertheless" if you need sex - get married. Then he says if you are married, don't deny your husband or your wife the sex they need. If you do you are sinning - you are stealing from them and giving Satan an open door to tempt them. (See verses 1-5)

These are words GOD CHOSE to use. By the way note the one and two syllable words He chose in order to make it easy for you:

"...it is good for a man not to touch a woman."

"...let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."

"The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife."

That is 40 one syllable and 11 two syllable words out of 53 words. Hard to understand? I don't THINK SO! Maybe we just don't like what it says.

Sex was created by God and approved by Him and is a blessing - so if you cannot "contain" yourself, (verse 9) find yourself a person of the opposite sex that you respect and feel comfortable with and get married. After you are married - satisfy him sexually. You owe it to him. It is a matter of righteousness and godliness.

PERSONAL: I recently had the great privilege of taking a one week trip with one of my daughters, one of my granddaughters and one of my best friends. All four of us were born in a different decade, but we had great fellowship and lots of laughs. Not only was it a "sight-seeing" "once in a lifetime" trip, but it was also a grand time of putting up with one another and helping one another and teasing one another and simply having a lot of fun. What an experience. We didn't go to party, to hit the night clubs, gamble, drink, or find men. We went to see the city of Rome and the town of Tivoli and the ruins in both. The Roman and Greek civilizations have always interested me and getting to see the Coliseum, Hadrian's villa, the Forum, the Pantheon and much more was something I enjoyed.

What on earth did four people in their 20's, 30's, 50's and 60's have in common? A love for Jesus and a love for one another and an interest in seeing historical things. I hope they had as good a time as I did. I wish everyone of you could have such an opportunity. I was 65 before I did, and I am thankful that my Lord and also my husband allowed me this trip.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Have you ever been surprised? Shocked? Well I can honestly say that I was both when I heard of a protestant missionary setting up a "nativity scene" in a Muslim country. Even the Muslims have better sense than to set up idols, and the statue of Mary is the most worshiped idol in the history of the world. When you set up your nativity scene - wherever you are - you are putting up an idol, and both the Old and the New Testaments are vehemently against it. But my main thought was how sad for someone who is trying to reach Muslims for the Lord Jesus Christ to show these non-idolaters how 'christianity' loves it's idols.

**************************************************************************************************************************

QUESTION & ANSWER PARAGRAPH: Question: Why do you always mention that the KJV is the only book we can trust absolutely?

Answer: Because I firmly believe it is.

The words in it are the words God chose for the English speaking people worldwide. And it was translated from the words God chose to use in the Greek language. The new versions come from corrupt manuscripts and corrupt Greek translations (Westcott & Hort's or Nestle's Greek translations are corrupt and they are where most new English translations come from).

"Those who breeze through their Bibles might not detect the doctrinal changes made by the new version editors, but they are there, and those who learned their doctrine from the Sword the Holy Spirit chose to use (the KJV) will perhaps continue to believe the great truths - but their children, brought up using new-age versions, might not. They are going to be easily led into believing instead the new-age doctrines - which are doctrines of devils - brought in by Satan's long lived method of subtlety (Gen. 3 - yea, hath God said?).

Harvard & Princeton textual scholar, Dr. Edward Hills summarizes: "Old corrupt manuscripts which had been discarded by the God-guided usage of the believing church, were brought out of their hiding place and re-instated....& today thousands of Christians are falling into this devil's trap through their use of "modern speech" versions."

Recent discoveries demonstrate that the majority of manuscripts, as seen in the traditional Greek Textus Receptus and its translation the Authorized Version (KJV) represent the earliest, broadest (numerically and geographically) and most consistent edition of the New Testament.

On the other hand, the new versions and their underlying unsettled Greek texts, use later readings representing a narrow 1% of the extent manuscripts and those are all from one locale: Alexandria, Egypt. They typify Satan's meager and shaky attempt to counterfeit the written word of God (2 Cor. 2:17; Heb. 4:12) just like he counterfeits Christ's ministers (2 Cor. 11:3-4, 13-15) and Christ himself (Rev. 19:13, Is. 14:12-14; 2 Thess 2:3-12;1 Jn.2:22-26; 4:1-5; 5:19-21)

We can safely conclude that the vast majority of manuscripts agree with the readings in the KJV. The KJV readings represent the earliest and most widespread known manuscripts." - New Age Versions, by G. A. Riplinger

When the translators tell you that something in the KJV is not in the originals \- they are lying. They have never even seen an original. If you have more interest in this subject, you can order the above mentioned book; or Manuscript Evidence by Peter Ruckman; or Lyndell has a printed paper on this in the hallway at church, which I will send you at your request. - vk

Next newsletter I may write more on this subject - about how Lyndell came to believe the KJV was God's written word for us in English.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

FOR YOUR FUN TIME: Go through your KJV New Testament, marking all the sentences almost totally made up of one and two syllable words.

"By grace are you saved through faith....it is the gift of God; not of works lest any man should boast."

"For God so loved the world that he gave....."

Those are all one syllable words (except one).....and they are there in abundance - for all of us slow learners.

I LOVE IT. God loves to take the wise in their own conceits and make them fools. (See 1 Cor. Chapters 1-3). And He has done so by allowing all of these new versions to come in and be pushed off by the 'scholars' and the 'moneymakers' of our day - and then clearly proving them to be corrupt versions taken from corrupt texts taken from corrupt manuscripts. Is your final authority your own opinion? Your pastor's? Your denomination's? Do you go eeny, meeny, miney, moe??? Where is YOUR final authority for what you believe? Does it matter? Your children and grandchildren's eternity may depend on it. IT MATTERS!

**********************************************

Forgiveness is something we give to those who have hurt us. It is, however, important to remember that people don't start the forgiveness process wanting to give those who hurt them a gift. Some want revenge. Some want the offender to beg for forgiveness or suffer some terrible humiliation. Others simply want to wipe out of memory the painful event and the individual who caused it. BUT this is the paradox of forgiving: As we reach out to the one who hurt us, we are the ones who heal.

Our reactions to our sufferings will either make us bitter or better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GOD IS FAITHFUL IN THE MIRACLES AND HE IS FAITHFUL IN THE MUNDANE.

*************************************************

Our Saviour did not die so that we could sit in a recliner and watch TV while the needs of our family, our church and our world cry out for attention. We need to be shaking the world for Christ. They said of Paul, "He turned the world upside down."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

THE FANATIC WHO KILLS IN GOD'S NAME MAKES HIS GOD A MURDERER.

..............................................................................................................

If your life is based on the joy of circumstances, all the devil has to do is serve you a couple of bad circumstances.

...................................................................................

REJECTION IS A PART OF LIFE. JESUS WAS REJECTED & DESPISED, MISUNDERSTOOD, LIED ABOUT, PLOTTED AGAINST, MOCKED, ABUSED AND FINALLY MURDERED.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHRIST JESUS CAME INTO THE WORLD TO SAVE SINNERS!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

##  August - September 2002

For Women ONLY .....From Verlene Kincaid......an aged woman....

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

1 Corinthians Chapter 7:5-39

Defraud ye not one the other: Paul is dealing with sex. Wives, if you refuse to give your husband sex, you are defrauding him - you are cheating him (and vice versa). If you are angry - ok - but 'let not the sun go down on your wrath' (Eph. 4:26). Make up with one another and forgive one another and lay aside your wrath before the sun goes down. In other words, go to bed with no anger nor resentment and give each other the sex you both need.

Except it be with consent: For him to sexually leave you alone is sin on his part, unless you give him consent. But it's also sin on your part, unless he gives you consent.

For a time: You should both agree (consent) on how long this should be.

That ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer: Not because you're mad. Not to go fishing with the fellows. Not to go bowling with the gals. The reason is to give yourselves to fasting and prayer. Wives, have you ever been so burdened that you went to your husband and said, "I want to fast and pray for two days - could we agree to not have sex for those two days?" Most of us never get burdened enough about our own or other's spiritual needs to set aside a specific amount of time to fast and pray. But evidently Paul thought we would (or should).

And come together again: Don't stay apart too long. The sexual needs are real; they should not be unmet.

That Satan tempt you not: Not only will God hold you accountable, you risk losing your marriage. Satan is going about as a roaring lion seeking to devour (1 Pet. 5:8) and if you do not meet your partner's sexual needs, Satan will surely tempt him (or you) into adultery and destroy a home. Satan is hoping you will do what Paul is warning you against doing. Satan wants you to be away from each other - so he can tempt you. And he will!

MEN: (I know many of you read this because you have told me so.) This is a two way street. Not only is she told this - you are told this. She may not need the sex as much as you do, but she needs your arms and your caresses and your sweet nothings and your tender concern and your desire to be with her. If you must be away from her, let it be with consent. Let her know you love her; ask her permission to be away for a certain amount of time, but not too long a time; and hurry back to her, giving her the emotional satisfaction that you care about her needs. Your responsibility is to nourish and cherish her. Are you? Your responsibility is to love her. Do you? According to 1 Cor. 13? Your responsibility is to honor her. Have you? Since you have told me you appreciate my exhortation to your wives, I now plead with you to take responsibility and do your part to make your home a haven of rest and a place of joyful memories. If it's not - don't put all the blame on the wife. Is she malnourished? Is she uncherished? Is she basking in your love? Does she even feel loved? You don't know? Ask her. Do you honor her? How do you treat her? As a servant? As an object? Or do you treat her as an honored, loved, cherished person whom you want to nourish and make as happy as possible - according to Bible guidelines?

Are you single? Verses 6-8 tell us that it is good to be single. This is hard for us to accept by faith - (how many matchmakers do you find in a church?) - and yet we should be able to accept it by faith as easily as we accept John 3:16. This same Paul tells us in Timothy that one of the doctrines of devils is 'forbidding to marry'. Staying single is a choice each individual makes for himself, not something forced on him. But Paul mentions that it is good, and he gives reasons for his judgment.

Are you married? Verse 10: And unto the married - the Lord commands: 'Let not the wife depart from her husband.' (What do you know - Christians have commandments.) That's a simple command - made up of one and two syllable words. It's really not hard to understand.

In verse 11 he adds: "But and if." There may be a time when a wife does depart, and if so? "Let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband." For her to be unmarried, it seems she has gotten a divorce. And yet Paul calls her "ex" her husband. If she wants to be a married woman, let her be 'reconciled' to her husband.

He also says, "Let not the husband put away his wife." Sounds a little like Jesus when he said, "What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Okay believers \- do you really believe? Can you trust God's Word or do you prefer your own wisdom? God's word says for you to make the marriage work.

In verse 12 he says, "to the rest". He leaves off dealing with single or married Christians and goes to mixed marriages. Did you as a Christian foolishly marry an unbeliever? Have you gotten saved and your husband hasn't? Make it your goal to win him to Jesus - but not by nagging. In verse 13 he tells you to not leave an unbelieving husband if he wants you to stay. In verse 15 he adds another 'but if' - if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. If he is not pleased to dwell with a Christian, you can't force him to stay, but if he chooses

to stay, you just might save him. He and your children are your tremendous opportunity to win souls to Jesus and their salvation should be your priority.

In verses 25-28 & 36-38 he deals with virgins (men and women virgins). Again he advises to stay single, because if you marry you shall have trouble in the flesh. This is a simple statement of fact. He warned you. Don't complain when you do have trouble in the flesh. Paul wanted to spare you, but you wanted to marry.

He makes it clear that a married person will not have the time to give to the Lord that a single person would have.. Married people get caught up in the things of the world and in trying to please their spouse. He wants you to be able to serve the Lord without distraction, and a husband and kids are a lot of distraction.

Verse 39 gives a scriptural principle. Marry only in the Lord. Don't marry an unbeliever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The most thought provoking fact of human history is that Jesus is the most influential life ever lived on this planet and its effect continues to mount. " - K. S. Latourette

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personal: One evening I was walking in the shade of my trees, just me and our puppy. It was a hot day, but cool in the shade and I was thoroughly content to be who I was, where I was and when I was. Then over the distance, I heard children laughing and shouting and it brought precious memories of my kids. How I loved to hear them outside laughing and shouting at play. In many ways I miss those days and wish I could go back to them - for the pleasure those sounds always gave me and in order to be a better mom than I had been. We get too busy and the time we have with them is very short. Moms - take the time to enjoy your children. Do things with them any chance you get. There will be a time when they won't be there to enjoy on a daily basis. Treasure your moments and put down your chores or your book and take time for them.

More personals: From June 30th through July 6th it rained 36+ inches in our rain gauge. We were flooded in and stranded at home by two roaring creeks - for seven days. And then one week later it rained 4" more and stranded us for another night. But praise God we had electricity and food and a phone. We also had about four miles of road between the creeks that we could drive on and we did so every day - down to both creeks to see what they were doing. We met a lot of our neighbors on our daily treks. It is an awesome sight to see the power of a flood and the damage raging water can do and we are glad that only our fences were harmed. We continue to pray for all those that did suffer a lot of damage, even loss of loved ones.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A CHILD'S SELF-WILL: - by Suzanna Wesley (mother of John and Charles Wesley)

"Train up a child in the way he should go." (Prov. 22:6) Whenever a child is corrected he must be conquered; and this will be no hard matter to do, if he has not grown headstrong by too much indulgence. And when the will of the child is totally subdued, and he is brought to revere and stand in awe of the parents, then a great many childish follies and inadvertencies may be passed by.

Some should be overlooked and taken no notice of, and others mildly reproved; but no willful transgression ought to be without chastisement, less or more, as the nature and circumstances of the offense require.

I insist on conquering the will of children early, because this is the only strong and rational foundation of a Christian education; without which both precept and example will be ineffectual. As self-will is the root of all sin and misery, so whatsoever cherishes this in children insures their after-wretchedness and irreligion; whatever checks and mortifies it promotes their future happiness and piety."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A slap on the back will help form character, if applied early enough, often enough, and LOW enough.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This poem's title is TO MY GROWN-UP SON.

I am dedicating it to my sons AND daughters:

My hands were busy through the day,

For life is short, and years rush past,

I didn't have much time to play

A little boy grows up so fast,

The little games you asked me to,

No longer is he at your side,

I didn't have much time for you.

His precious secrets to confide.

I'd wash your clothes; I'd sew and cook,

The picture books are put away,

But when you'd bring your picture book

There are no children's games to play,

And ask me, please, to share your fun,

No goodnight kiss, no prayers to hear,

I'd say, "A little later, son."

That all belongs to yesteryear.

I'd tuck you in all safe at night,

My hands once busy, now lie still,

And hear your prayers, turn out the light,

The days are long and hard to fill,

Then tiptoe softly to the door.

I wish I might go back and do,

I wish I'd stayed a minute more.

The little things you asked me to.

\- Alice E. Chase

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Are you as a parent:

  1. Trustworthy?

  2. Respectful?

  3. Responsible?

  4. Fair?

  5. Caring?

If not, will your children be? Our kids need parents who are grown-ups, not still babies - and THAT has nothing whatsoever to do with age. I've known some 15 year olds who met all five of those criteria and 40 year olds who met none. If you are one of those, it's time you repented of it and grew up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IF YOU WANT TO BE A GIANT IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD, just do what 98% of the body of Christ does not do..............read your Bible, pray, give and be thankful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ACHIEVING CONTENTMENT IS A LEARNING PROCESS.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All fear, except the fear of the Lord and the fear of sin, is from the devil. The minute we begin to worry and fret, the devil finds a way to win a victory. Our attitude tward the enemy's attacks must be one of determined faith, confession and perseverance. Our attitude towards our heavenly Father must be one of total surrender and trust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Genesis we are told that Jacobs love for Rachel was so great he could labor 14 years to get her and they would seem to him as only a few days.

**************************************************

JESUS IS THE LORD AND HE LIVES IN BELIEVERS.

**************************************************

#  2003

## January 2003

For Women ONLY .....From Verlene Kincaid......an aged woman....

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

PRAY-READING THE WORD OF GOD:

ASK PRAISE THANK

When Lyndell became convinced that God was telling him to stop gathering together in the name of Baptist, and start gathering together in the name of Jesus, (Matt. 18:20) we came back from Guatemala since most of our support was from people who gathered together in the name of Baptist.

At first, we fellowshipped with those who some call "brethren". They accept any designation that is common to all saved people, such as brethren, disciples, believers, saints, Christians, etc. We also fellowshipped with those who gather together as 'the Local Church'. They believe the only Scriptural division of saved people should be by the locality of where they meet. It was while attending their prayer meetings that Lyndell learned to enjoy praying the Scriptures back to the Lord. It is what they called pray-reading the Word of God, and this can be a great blessing. I hope you will try it for yourself - use it this year in your prayer time & be blessed.

First, take your Bible and turn to your daily Bible reading for the day. (You may want to have your regular reading time separate from your prayer time, or choose to combine them.)

Pray, Praise, & Thank are the three things to look for as you read your Bible verses at your prayer time. Ask yourself, "What is there in this verse that I can pray about? If you pray Scripture, then you know you are asking according to His will (1 Jn. 4:14-16). If you'll pray, praise, and offer thanksgiving \- verse by verse - your time of prayer will avail much (James 5:16) and your joy will increase (Phil. 4:4-6). Here are a few examples to give you just an idea of how & what.

Turn to 1 Peter:

  2. Pray for strangers in other cities (believers around the world that you don't know)

  3. Thank God for His Holy Spirit

Pray for grace and peace for yourself and others

1:3 Praise for His abundant mercy

Thank for the resurrection of Jesus, the new birth, and your lively hope

1:4 Thank for an inheritance which is incorruptible, undefiled, unfading, and reserved

1:5 Praise for His keeping power; that salvation is by faith (& not by works)

1:6 Thank for ability to rejoice even when in heaviness of temptation

1:7 Thank for your trials of faith

Praise for promise of Jesus' coming again

Pray for victory and strength and grace to help

1:8 Thank for joy unspeakable

1:9-10 Praise for salvation by grace through faith

1:11 Praise for the Holy Spirit moving to give us a SURE WORD

1:12 Thank for those who preached the gospel to you

Pray for those who preach the gospel

Praise for the Holy Spirit indwelling you

1:13 Pray for God to help you prepare your mind for battle

1:14 Pray for help to be an obedient child & strength to resist your former lusts

1:15 Pray for help to be holy in your life

1:16 Praise for the Written Word

1:17 Praise that God is there when you call in time of need

Pray for your works to be acceptable to Him (as one of His children)

1:18 Praise for redemption

Thank for deliverance from traditions

1:19 Praise for the blood of the Lamb

1:20 Praise for His love being so great that He became flesh - and was made manifest to you and for you

1:21 Praise that your faith and hope is in God and not in yourself

1:22 Praise for His Spirit guiding you into Truth

Thank for the brethren

Pray for the brethren; for more love, for unfeigned love, and for fervent love

1:23 Praise for the new birth; for His Word

1:24 Pray for help to remember that the life & glory of man is fleeting

1:25 Praise that His Word endures forever

Now go to Chapter 2 and look for these three things for yourself. Stop at each verse and offer the prayer, the praise or the thanksgiving right then and there - out loud.

I PRAISE you Lord for your being (This) . (What and Who He says He is.)

I THANK you Lord for giving me (This) , for doing (This) , and for promising (This) .

I ASK you Lord for (This) .

This should give you an idea of what is meant when we talk about pray-reading the Word of God. You can do this at almost every chapter in the Bible. If you come to a verse you do not understand, then right there - at that place - simply ask Him to give you understanding and not leave you in confusion. But whatever you do - pray-read your Bible back to the Lord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WE ARE THANKFUL TO THE LORD for giving our daughter Suzanna a safe delivery of our 14th grandchild AND for him being a healthy baby. His name is Jaren Anthony Kincaid Ochoa and is very handsome - in our truly biased opinion! Thanks also to all of you who prayed with us.

*********************************************

WHAT WONDERFUL AND BLESSED THANKSGIVING MEETINGS we had. Every service from Wednesday through Wednesday of that week was a joy to be a part of. I think the love and the fellowship of believers is an exquisite gift from God. Gathering together in Jesus' name simply for the purpose of thanksgiving \- this is something I wish every believer could experience.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We have had some sadness among us also. One of our dearest friends and a faithful missionary out of our church has been diagnosed with a very fast growing, malignant tumor of the brain. Through the years we've known him, he's been a person of joy and full of praise to the Lord. He's been healed of four cancers already, and we have absolutely no doubt of God's ability to heal him once again, but as he himself acknowledged, he's in a strait betwixt two choices (Phil. 1:23) - having a desire to depart and yet knowing it may be more needful to remain. Hold Brother Dale West up in prayer. God cares more than we do, but He tells us to ASK, to let our REQUESTS be made known unto him. So PRAY.

**********************************************************

The recent anti-drug ads in magazines are really good. Have you seen them? They give sentences for you as a parent to fill in the blanks:

1) Every afternoon at 4 p.m. my child is ________________________________.

2) Every day after school, my kid likes to _______________________________.

"ASK: WHO? WHAT? WHEN? WHERE? It's not pestering. It's parenting."*

*MOM (or dad) BE THERE when your kid gets home from school - It's parenting.

Cleaning & scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow,

For Babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs........Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A book you might want to purchase:

Keeping Your Kids Sexually Pure by La Verne Tolbert

****************************************************************

Are we, as a church family, friendly with each other but not with newcomers? Do we speak to all the visitors we possibly can? If not, why not? Are you, individually, waiting and expecting the pastors to do it? Why don't you make it your own personal ministry to greet every visitor and invite them back.

***************************************************

Some have said I'm too one sided in my teaching. That I hit the women hard and never tell them "good" things - things that make them feel good about themselves. Well, we do have a lot of "feel good" teaching going on all around us, but somehow I'm convinced that the only way to really feel good about ourselves is to watch the miracle that God can work in our lives when we humbly ask Him to strengthen us - so we can walk in the spirit and not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. I want to encourage you and provoke you to good works. I don't want you to be content in ignoring God's clear teaching to women. I want to build you up so you can grow in your Christian walk and become mature, responsible, Godly women. I want to comfort you when you fail (as we all do) but exhort you to get up and try again. Christ will strengthen you if you ask Him. Christ gets glory when others behold your good works - so says 1 Peter 2:11-12.

*******************************************

Why are most people over 40 conservative? They have had time to reap what they did before they were 30, and they found out they could not break God's laws, man's laws, or nature's laws and get away with it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A cup brimful of sweetness cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, no matter how suddenly or severely jarred. \- Amy Carmichael, missionary to India

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No other woman has your personality nor your husband - so be wary of comparing your marriage with your sister's or your friend's, etc. It's pointless and will make you fret needlessly if you feel theirs is better than yours. It may well be, but it also may just be different.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Temptation, if yielded to, becomes SIN. If resisted, the Lord is glorified, the saint grows stronger, grows in faith and maturity, and his obedience is confirmed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE SCRIPTURES WERE WRITTEN PRIMARILY FOR DOCTRINE. (2 Tim. 3:16)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Christian can't lose his soul, but he can lose everything else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The best preparation for tomorrow is to do what you ought to do today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God's will for you is that while you live in this place, with this family, in this house, at this job, your life is to be in Christ. He uses us through our circumstances - even bad circumstances.

(Gen. 45:8; 50:20; 1 Pet. 3:1-3)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jesus said his disciples were "slow in heart to believe." Why didn't He MAKE them believe?

Judas betrayed Him, Peter denied Him, Thomas doubted, none understood. They slept while He prayed and forsook Him in the end. Was Jesus a failure? By the world's standards - YES.

By God's plan and foreknowledge - NO. - Elisabeth Elliot

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

##  March 2003

For Women ONLY .....From Verlene Kincaid......an aged woman....

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

1 Peter 3 Deals with wives but the very first word tells us it is connected to what has been said before:

LIKEWISE \- This means you must take these words in context with chapter 2.

1 Peter 2: Verse 1 - tells us to lay aside five things:

MALICE

GUILE

HYPOCRISIES

ENVIES

EVIL SPEAKINGS

Do you know how much better your marriage (right along with your Christian walk) would be if you really laid these things aside? ALL evil speakings? NEVER another bad word about your husband? Not to him or about him to others? That alone would be a big boost in your relationship. ALL evil speakings. LAY THEM ASIDE. Throw them in the trash where they belong. They smell bad to God and are rotten in your life. They are like putting rat poison on the food you eat - NOT GOOD! Get rid of them. Hate them. They are harmful.

Read verses 5,9,10: This is who you ARE!

You are part of a spiritual house, an holy priesthood - to offer up spiritual sacrifices.

You are in a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people;

in order to show forth the praises of Jesus.

You are now part of the people of God.

You have now obtained mercy.

Why are you hanging out in the darkness you were in instead of walking in his marvelous light?

Why are you living in the trash heap of evil speaking and malice and guile and envies and hypocrisies?

In verse 11: He beseeches you (begs with you; pleads with you): abstain from fleshly lusts which war against your soul. You ARE in a war. These lusts try to conquer you - so instead of yielding to them - abstain. You moms tell your kids to "Just say No". Well, Peter is telling you to just say NO.

In verse 12: we see (O no! The two hated words): GOOD WORKS! TO BE SEEN!

And do it ALL (verse 13) for the LORD'S SAKE.

Are you sincere in wanting to do something for God? Well here it is!

In verse 13: (O no! Not again!) WELL DOING!

Verse 16 is the paradox of Christianity: Free but servants

In verses 18-20: He tells you more specifically what good works and well doing you need to put into your life as a wife (remember Ch. 3 starts with the word likewise.).

Be subject with all fear - and not only to the good and gentle.

THIS is thankworthy : "IF you suffer wrongfully and endure grief for conscience toward God."

WHEN you do well and suffer because of it AND take your suffering patiently (not murmuring or complaining) - THIS is acceptable with God. Connect this with verse 5 and you see that being patient when we suffer wrongfully is a spiritual sacrifice that is acceptable to God. This is worth a "Thank you", a "Well done". Do you want to make an acceptable sacrifice to God? Then when you do well and suffer for it - take it patiently; for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. They are acceptable with Him.

In verses 21-25: This says you were called to suffer wrongfully just as Jesus suffered wrongfully for us.

Although He is GOD and was SINLESS as a man \- here's how He took it:

When He was reviled

He reviled not again

When He suffered

He threatened not

BUT committed himself to HIM THAT JUDGES RIGHTEOUSLY.

Chapter 3, verse 1 says LIKEWISE ye WIVES:

When you are reviled - revile not again.

When you suffer wrongfully - threaten not.

Commit yourself to the righteous judge who loves you and wants you to live unto righteousness (2:24).

LET GOD HANDLE IT. Do well and commit the OUTCOME to God. He does NOT promise you that you won't suffer \- He tells you how to act when you DO suffer.

PERSONAL: Do I LIKE what Chapter 2 tells me? Oh yes - part of it I love.

I have tasted that the Lord is gracious (v. 3).

I do believe on Him (v. 6).

To me He is precious (v. 7).

I have been called out of darkness into His marvelous light (v. 9).

I am now part of God's people (v. 3,10).

I have now obtained mercy (v.10).

Christ bore my sins in his own body (v. 24).

Jesus is the Shepherd and Bishop of my soul (v. 25).

And YET there are parts of this chapter that I really don't like.

In my own flesh I find I have malice, guile, hypocrisies, envies and evil speakings (v.1).

In my own flesh I don't desire to abstain from fleshly lusts (v.11). I don't like being in a war - I don't want to fight, to put out the effort required. It is easier to give in to fleshly lusts.

I don't like having to live so that others will behold my good works (v.12).

I don't like being responsible to others for my lifestyle.

I really like pleasing myself.

I don't like submitting to others - even for Jesus' sake (v. 13).

If I'm free (v. 16) why should I have to do these things?

Why should I be a servant? (v. 16) when I'm an heir?

I might be willing to submit to a GOOD & GENTLE person - but to a froward one? (v.18) NOT ME! I deserve more than that! I don't have to put up with that! Or him!

I don't want to be patient even when I suffer for my own faults, much less when I suffer wrongfully (v.19-21).

I WANT to revile those who revile me (v.23).

I WANT to threaten those who cause me suffering (v.23).

Why can't I do as I please? I REALLY DON'T LIKE those verses! (But I also really wish I did)

NOW let's think about it! IF I can joyfully believe the sweet and encouraging verses, why should I rebel at those hard and discouraging ones? Can't I tell myself that I can and should do those things for THE LORD'S SAKE? (v.13). Don't I truly WANT to do things that are acceptable to Him - even if they don't please my flesh? Am I not a new creature? Born again? Partaker of the divine nature? Filled with the Holy Spirit?

Do I really want to continue walking in darkness - walking to please only myself? It is a sign of love and maturity to accept the responsibility of putting ourselves aside for the sake of OTHERS. It is a sign of being a spoiled brat when we only want to please ourselves. We have to think of others - this is a MATURE way of thinking and a CHRISTIAN way of life. It is how the Holy Spirit (who wrote the Bible and lives in us) is guiding us.

We SHOW (v.12) our growth in the Lord (v.2) when we do what pleases and is acceptable with Him (v.20) rather than what pleases and is acceptable with us. We may prefer pleasing ourselves - but can we (for the Lord's sake) do what pleases HIM? He left us an example, that we should follow His steps (v.21). Therefore, let us by our good works cause others to glorify God (v.12). Let us be patient in suffering (even when it is wrongfully) (v.19) in order to please Him who has called us and who died for us.

***************************************************

Question: How can we as Christians fight the battle of worry?

Answer: Worry is basically a lack of trust. If you have sinned, and you worry about the consequences - repent and trust God to deal faithfully with you as a father. Whatever He does, will be best for you \- even if you don't like it.

If it is just normal worry, then trust the Words of Jesus and don't fret about tomorrow - there is enough evil today for you to handle (Matthew 6:19-34).

The answer for worry is to live in the NOW (give us this day our daily bread) and let the peace of God rule in your heart and mind (Col. 3:15).

If the evil of the day is too much and overwhelms you - go at once to this ground of faith: If you love God and are the called according to His purpose, God will work all things out for your good. Trust is the only antidote to worry. Even if you deserve and expect a good spanking because you are His child - He will only do what must be done for your good. He cares for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Recommended Books: A Path Through Suffering \- by Elisabeth Elliot

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Children need a mother who has the time and energy to "mother" them. If you don't have the time or the patience to just enjoy your children, you need to reassess your situation. You have a child in your home 18 years - make those 18 years his years - that gives you 50 for yourself (if you live to be 68 years old).

I had five children with an age span of 17 years from the oldest to the youngest. Therefore I had children in my home for 35 years. I am now 66 - which means I've had 31 years for me, myself and I.

A half hour to an hour of sit-down family time each day may be one of the most important things parents can do for their children. I always insisted we eat breakfast and supper together, and then most of the time we also had a family altar time of Bible reading, prayer and song. This was not easy until it became a way of life.

********************************************

Marriage: You love your friends for what they are, but you try to change your husband into what you want him to be. Don't! Love him as he is. Pray for him if you think he needs changing - God is still doing miracles in hearts and lives. Encourage your husband. Be there for him when he needs you. Don't hold grudges against him. Strengthen your own feeble knees so you can strengthen him.

Deuteronomy 8 tells us that the wilderness comes to test us and humble us - to see what is in our heart. If you're there - count it all joy (James 1:2-3,12; 1 Pet.1:6-7)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

YOU "LEARN" CONTENTMENT BY NOT HAVING WHAT YOU WANT.

An interesting HINT: Set your timer for 10 minutes and race yourself to see how much you can do in ten minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love children. I just have a problem with the parents who won't control them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you get discouraged and give up serving the Lord, it affects your family, your friends, your church and every lost person who knows you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Satan wants us to spend our time in gossip, dwelling on old wounds and old hurts, thinking on things that bring pain and hurt us. We must bring our minds into captivity and think on Jesus, His Word, and His blessings. We need to have our minds transformed instead of being conformed to this world. (Rom.12:1-2; 2 Cor. 10:5)

*********************************************

THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL HEARD ABOUT THE GIANTS AND CHOSE TO STAY IN THE WILDERNESS.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT? GOD CHOSE TO LET THEM!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

AT THE NAME OF JESUS EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW. (Phil. 2:10)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

##  August 2003

For Women ONLY .....From Verlene Kincaid......an aged woman....

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

"...David did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord, and turned not aside from anything that He commanded him all the days of his life, save only in the matter of Uriah the Hittite." 1 Kings. 15:5

The story of the matter of Uriah the Hittite is found in 2 Samuel, chapters 11 and 12. Read them several times to get the full impact of David's sin in this "matter of Uriah the Hittite".

David's one time of turning aside from God's commandments, brought constant sorrow and misery to David and to all his family for the rest of his and their lives. How quickly we can lose our testimony and the direction that our life could have gone. David became a "used to be" guy.

God said David had despised not only the commandment of the Lord, but that he had despised God! In this one matter, he had forever tarnished his own name and caused the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme. Yes, God forgave and did not enforce the death penalty for David's sin, but instead He gave him a constant, continual, never-ending consequence.

Ladies, we can learn from David's experience. We must take heed to ourselves; we may live Godly for years and years and be abundantly blessed by God and dearly loved by God, but in one matter of despising God and His Word, we can bring consequences to ourselves and to all of our family - to the third and fourth generation and maybe beyond. And not only that, but we will cause the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme the name of Jesus, and discourage many of God's people who love us and trusted us and are trying to stay strong in their Christian walk.

Would you want that? Take heed! Beware! Watch! These are our commands all through the New Testament. We should be on guard all the time. A life of holiness can be totally ruined by one incident. We are to resist Satan, resist temptations, and not yield to the flesh. And with God's help, we can! (1 Cor. 10:12-13)

Now, let's take a short look at Bathsheba. Many people blame her, but the Lord never did.

  1. David would normally not have been in Jerusalem when Israel was at war, and Bathsheba could have thought he was away at the battle. (2 Samuel 11:1)

  2. Bathsheba was washing herself after David's bedtime. She could have thought everyone was in bed and no one would see her. (v. 2)

  3. She was very beautiful to look upon, but that wasn't her fault. David should have stopped looking.

  4. Evidently David did not know who she was, but after enquiring about her he was CLEARLY told that she was someone else's wife.

  5. "David sent messengers, and took her." This sounds as if his messengers forced her to come to David instead of asking politely if she would like to come. (v. 4)

  6. It does not say she seduced him. David was the iniator all the way through.

  7. She did not intend to leave her husband, nor did David want her to - even after he found out she was "with child" by him. (v. 4-8) To David it had been a "one night stand"; a simple adultery against Uriah, one of his top, faithful and valiant men.

(1 Chron. 11:26-41; 12:1; 2 Sam. 23:39)

  8. David simply decided he could "fix the problem". He brought Uriah home and tried to get him to go to his house and sleep with his wife so Uriah would think the child was his own. David did not want her or the child at this time. But Uriah had strong convictions about what was right when his fellow soldiers were out in their tents and he would not go against his own conscience. (2 Sam. 11:6-12)

  9. David then made "the matter of Uriah" even worse - he ordered his top general to be sure Uriah died in battle. He ordered a murder and was pleased when it was accomplished. (v. 25)

  10. Bathsheba mourned for her husband. (v.26) Was this a real mourning for a gallant man whom she loved?

  11. "David sent and fetched her." (v.27) Again, the wording indicates that the king commanded her to come to his house. [God continued to call her the wife of Uriah. (2 Sam. 12: 10 and 15)]

  12. The Bible says: "The thing that David had done displeased the Lord." It does not say "the thing that Bathsheba had done displeased the Lord". (2 Sam. 11:27)

  13. God never blames her, and later gives her another son, whom He loved. (2 Samuel 12:24) God honored her by letting her become one of the ancestors of Jesus. (Matthew 1:6)

These verses never say she asked for any of this or wanted any of this, but she seems to be a circumstantial victim of someone's lust. And that someone happened to be one of the most powerful kings of his day, in a land where 'women's rights' were not very much in evidence. Some say she could have resisted. According to the wording of scripture, she might have done so; and then been raped and discarded (just as it happened to David's own daughter later).

Even if we defend Bathsheba as I have done, there are a few lessons here for us:

  1. Perhaps we should be careful where we wash ourselves (i.e. undress).

  2. Perhaps we should turn off the lights when we wash ourselves outside at night. Perhaps we should close the blinds when we wash ourselves inside our house.

  3. We should always remember that men are lustful and they do look, especially at those who are very beautiful.

  4. Also, a good lesson: If we get brought into terrible circumstances, we need to remember and be encouraged by the fact that God can bless us in spite of it - He can give us a Solomon to bring us comfort and joy. He can also give us an important place in the history of the world.

  5. BUT MAINLY: We must remember that one wicked "matter" can mar our life and our children's lives forever.

More books that I can cheerfully recommend:

1) Granny Brand, Her Story by Dorothy Clarke Wilson

2) Dare to Repair by Julie Sussman (This is great for women or other novices in home repair.)

3) Ten Fingers for God (Life & Work of Dr. Paul Brand) by Dorothy Clarke Wilson

4) In His Image by Dr. Paul Brand and Philip Yancey

5) Fearfully and Wonderfully Made by Dr. Paul Brand and Philip Yancey

6) Stay At Home Mom by Donna Otto

(As you can tell, I have recently read a lot about Dr. Paul Brand and his mother and also books written by him [with the assistance of Philip Yancey]. I first bought his book Pain, the Gift No One Wants, and Lyndell and I liked it so well, we ordered everything we could by him and about him, and then found the one about his mother. We were blessed by reading them.)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

YOUR CHILDREN: Children NEED chores. They learn a sense of responsibility by picking up after themselves and assuming some of the daily tasks necessary to keep the family running - such as setting the table or washing the dishes. Our practical rule was that when they wanted to try to 'do it themselves', we let them. My boys were washing dishes at 4 & 5 years of age, simply because they asked to do so. They did very well at it and since there were two of them doing it together, they had a great time 'playing in the suds'. When they wanted to mow, Lyndell bought a push mower and let them have 'fun'. They picked up their toys from almost the minute they could walk, and we let them dress themselves at the earliest 'I want to'. (Sometimes I would have to redress them, but they were learning while they still thought it was fun.)

GIVING TO THE LORD: You can also teach your young children to give a portion of their allowance. Later on, they can learn percentages and fractions by giving a percentage of their allowance or any earned money. Parents - YOU need to be a giver and set the example.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Parents need to understand and remember that 90% of teenagers are generally self-centered, insecure, and obnoxious. It is a turbulent and confusing time in their lives. - Joy Behar

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We want our children to be happy, but we also want them unspoiled. The two don't always go together. Pets will die, teachers will be tough, other children will be cruel. We can't 'fix' all their problems and if their feelings get hurt, there's nothing we can (or should) do to stop it. Help them figure out how to deal with it. They need to learn that being unhappy sometimes is just a part of being human.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

C. S. Lewis said: "There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done' and those to whom God says, 'All right then, have it your way'".

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

LIVE EACH DAY AS IF IT WERE THE LAST DAY OF YOUR LIFE.

................................................................................

THAT TRAUMA YOU FACED WAS NOT EASY.

AND GOD WEPT THAT IT HURT YOU SO;

BUT IT WAS ALLOWED TO SHAPE YOUR HEART

SO THAT INTO HIS LIKENESS YOU'D GROW.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Covetous people have a "desire to acquire".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I love my enemies to the best of my ability as Christ commands. But I also love their victims and potential victims enough to forcibly stop them from their cruelty."

\- Jim Pemberton

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is your child's home life one of tenderness, comfort, peace and security?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We had seen visions and been thrown back through disappointments on the mercy of God." - Granny Brand, missionary to India

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love is more than a feeling; it is a behavior. It means being sensitive to someone else's needs and putting them ahead of our own.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The righteous doth sing and rejoice." Proverbs 29:6

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

##  October 2003

For Women ONLY .....From Verlene Kincaid......an aged woman....

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

There are three Scripture verses hanging on the walls of the living/dining area of our house. They are special verses to Lyndell and me - they are our daily reminder verses.

FIRST, is part of a verse all Christians need to memorize and put into practice:

"...that in all things he might have the preeminence." Col. 1:18b

Jesus deserves to be preeminent in your life.

SECOND, IS A MOTTO THAT Lyndell loves and lives by:

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine." Proverbs 17:22

This simple truth has given us joy during some very tough times.

THIRD, is a truth any dedicated Christian parent understands:

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 John 4

Of course there are thousands of verses that continually bless our lives, but these three will forever be three of the sweetest God has given us.

If Jesus does not have the preeminence in your life - you are the loser. If He does have the preeminence, you can have a merry heart through your toughest tests. If He does have the preeminence, your children will know it, and chances are you'll hear (sooner or later) that they walk in truth. They will never be your clone. They'll never be exactly like you in anything, but if they seek to follow God's Holy Scripture, you'll find them walking in truth. Teach them by word and example how very valuable God's truth is in your life. Let them know you expect it to be very important in their lives and choices.

When I was young there was a popular song that went:

"Let the sunshine in,

Face it with a grin;

Smilers never lose,

And frowners never win;

So open up your heart

And let the sunshine in."

Of course we all know that smilers have lost and frowners have won, but as Lyndell often says, "An optimistic Christian and a pessimistic Christian are both going to heaven, but the optimist has more fun on the way." This is not the "power of positive thinking" - this is walking by faith. All Christians have trials, troubles, tribulations and temptations. Don't expect different. The "prosperity gospel" is not the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. But in the midst of our trials, troubles, temptations and tribulations, we can by faith remember His promises to us. If you love God and are the called according to His purpose, to you all things will work together for good. (Rom. 8:28) If you doubt this, then you won't have a merry heart, Jesus won't have the preeminence, and you may put a stumblingblock in your children's search for truth. If they stumble, don't let it be your fault. If they stumble, God can pick them up and set them back in the way of truth - but don't be the cause of their stumbling.

Put Jesus in His rightful place of preeminence; walk with a merry heart in spite of the things you have to pass through; and let your children know that you rejoice greatly when you hear that they walk in truth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PERSONAL: Our grandson, Bryan Kincaid, got back to the states from Afghanistan. It was so good to see him, and know that in spite of being wounded he is doing great. The city of Del Rio gave him a 'welcome home' parade and Lyndell and I got to participate. It was the first parade Lyndell had ever been a participant in and it was a lot of fun. I think all cities should do that for their military.

In October, I am going to travel with Lyndell to Poland where he'll be preaching. I usually don't go with him to meetings, but this time I am breaking my rule. They have asked me to teach the women on a Saturday while we are there, so I ask that when you pray for Lyndell, you also pray for me and for our missionaries there. They bring much joy to our hearts, as do all of our missionaries. God says He gives evangelists (missionaries), pastors and teachers to the church. Our church has been greatly blessed in His generous giving to us of these special gifts. We are spoiled rotten by His great goodness to us at 602 Oak Knoll. Have you thanked Him for these gifts lately? Have you given to them lately? Have you encouraged them lately? Have you prayed for them lately? Well, if not - start now. Pray this month for this meeting in Poland.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

QUESTION: How did you as a busy mom, wife and active church participant ever find time to be alone?

ANSWER: Twice a day, I managed it. Immediately after getting older kids off to school, I'd read my Bible. If the kids were little, they'd play in their room or a play pen where I was. They learned I was there for them, but to play quietly.

I insisted that every one of my children (until they started school) take an afternoon nap or time of rest. The very little ones slept - it was an established routine. [Children thrive on routine.]

The older ones didn't have to sleep, but had to play quietly in their room - preferably on their bed - for one hour. Once it's clear to them that it is a must do routine, it becomes fairly easy.

This gave me time for myself, and I considered it as necessary to me as eating. I also came to think it was very good for the kids themselves to have to settle down at least one hour every day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

QUESTION: How do you get children to do better in their grades when you know they could.

ANSWER: You have to remember that it might not be rebellion. Some of the problem in this kind of situation is the other kids. They make fun of "A" students. Therefore many good students become mediocre in order to be 'accepted' and not called 'teachers pet' (or much worse).

There are a few kids who are popular and who are so self-assured they aren't intimidated when they are 'honor roll' typified. A very few even thrive on making good grades and strive hard to get them. Your job is to give them the ability to not let peer pressure control them. And to let them know that they do not have to make the honor roll in order to be approved by you. Let them know you are sure they could do better, but that you will not make it the most important thing. We insisted our children be in church on Sunday and Wednesday nights, even if it lowered their grades in school. We figured 'C's' in school and 'A's' in spiritual things was a good trade-off.

*************************************************

"Beware of false prophets." With that statement Jesus affirms two truths:

First, that there are false prophets, and second, that they are dangerous. As people become more accustomed to gravitating to preachers who tell them what they like to hear, we should not be surprised to find false prophets everywhere. Many of them have wide followings and their lifestyles are supported by earnest Christians. Yet we are told to recognize them, to judge them, and to beware of them and their doctrines.

(2 Pet. 2:1-2) - Erwin W. Lutzer

In his book, Who Are You To Judge?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Children: "Children are a most wonderful gift in our lives \- and they are also a most wonderful challenge."

++++++

As parents you need to designate specific hours as "family time", when beepers and cell phones are turned off and answering machines field other calls. Better yet, unplug it all \- TV and computer included.

+++++

One sad, but necessary truth is that we can't control our children's feelings or their future. All we can do is keep the door open for their fellowship and continue to let them know we love them.

+++++

WHEN I WAS YOUNG: I wasn't allowed to have comic books, movie magazines, or romance magazines, etc. We had no 'junk food' (candy, chips, sodas) after school. In all truth, I never felt deprived. (I DID learn to eat dry shredded wheat as my 'snack', and I still love that snack to this day.) We did have milk or other nourishing things to eat when we got home from school, and now and then even some cookies to go with the milk, but mom never kept 'junk food' in the cabinets or refrigerator. It would save you a lot of worry and money if you made the same habit for your family.

+++++

"What's especially curious about the belief that all children must feel pleased with themselves is that we live in a world full of successful adults who were raised by parents not obsessed with self-esteem. Indeed, previous generations of parents were more interested in teaching their kids character, which included components of hard work, morality, honesty, charity, and spirituality. The cultivation of self-esteem in a child who didn't possess such traits would have seemed a seriously misguided effort."

\- Melissa Fay Greene (In 'Goodhousekeeping'; November 2000)

+++++

All women are mothers in special ways. Big sisters, aunts, teachers, friends. There are so many children already born who need love - it isn't necessary to give birth to experience mothering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paul could have written: "Dear friends, I have found that it really doesn't pay to serve Jesus. Notice where I am: in jail, and I don't like it one bit. To think I've been faithful all these years, and I end up in prison. I'm disappointed, bitter and resentful. Unhappily yours, the apostle Paul."

But instead he wrote: "My mission tour is being paid for by the Roman government. Every 8 hours they change my guard, giving me a new congregation. Some in Cesar's palace are getting saved. God is blessing. Thanks for praying. Joyfully yours, the apostle Paul."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If God only used perfect people, nothing would ever get done."

***********************************************

Thoughtless words leave lasting wounds.

*******************************************************

Every temptation is an opportunity to do right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.

*************************************************

"Much as I'd like to try, I can't change anyone but myself. (Though my family and friends would be so much better off if they'd all let me run their messy lives.)

\- Cheryl Solimini in Things That Don't Bug Me Anymore

.................................................................................

Do your giving

While you'r living;

Then you're knowing

Where it's going.

..........................................................................

When sin has control, self-protection and self-fulfillment become our primary occupations.

\- Erwin W. Lutzer

...........................................................................

God lets you choose, but you have to take responsibility for the consequences of your choices.

.................................................................

"...THAT IN ALL THINGS JESUS MIGHT HAVE THE PREEMINENCE."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A GOOD PLAN FOR 2004:

Read one Psalm every day. Meditate on God.

Read one chapter of Proverbs every day. Meditate on improving yourself.

Confess where you fail.

Ask God to help you do better.

Read through the Bible once every year. This will inform you. Warn you. Make you wise.

.............................................................................

It's silly to worry about the things you have control over, and it is also silly to worry about the things over which you have no control. So - there's nothing to worry about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sound of an average snore: 60-80 decibels.

Sound of a vacuum cleaner: 75 decibels.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If we can't convince them by our teaching, let us at least not harm them by our testimony.

...............................................................

Average number of questions a four year old asks in a day: 437

.............................................................................

"...THAT IN ALL THINGS JESUS MIGHT HAVE THE PREEMINENCE."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

##  December 2003

For Women ONLY .....From Verlene Kincaid......an aged woman....

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

2003 \- This has been a very hard year for some of my church family and some in my immediate family. Trials of their faith have been multiplied, and seemingly overwhelming. It is very easy for Satan (or one of his demons) to attack us when we're down. Satan hates Jesus and Satan hates Christians. He seeks to devour us - never forget it.

Satan can talk to you with your own voice. Satan and his demons come as "angels of light"

(2 Cor. 11:13-15), with smooth tongues (2 Cor. 4:2) and flattering words (1 Thess. 2:5). They tell Christians to give up. They twist the words of God and take the promises out of our hearts and thoughts. Our only way to victory is faith (Heb. 11:6 & 1 Jn. 5:4). When you doubt the goodness and kindness and love and care of God - you can never win. The battle is in your MIND (Phil. 2:3-5; 4:7-8; 1 Pt. 1:13; 2 Pet. 3:1; etc. - do a word study on mind and thought). You must, no matter what your outward circumstances, keep your thoughts on what God has told you to think on (Phil. 4:8).

One year when I was struggling with the trials I was facing, this phrase in Genesis 15:1 stood out to me and God let me grasp what He was saying. HE is our Exceeding Great Reward. What greater reward could we need? Abraham saw it and was glad (Jn. 8:56). I saw it and I learned to walk by faith instead of sight. I finally realized how unimportant the things of earth were. I knew then that I should 'praise the Lord anyhow'.

(Habakkuk 3:17-19; Job 13:15 & 1:21 & 2:10; Romans 2:2 & 4:18; Gen. 18:25; Ecc. 8:17; Deut. 29:29; 2 Cor. 7:4)

I covenanted with Jesus: "I will trust - no matter what!" When circumstances overwhelm, I run to the above verses and especially to Romans 4:18: "....against hope believed.....". Every time we get trials of our faith (Jn. 16:33), we should sit down and reread all those verses. Don't try to 'remember' them - READ THEM! And by an act of the will, tell God, 'I WILL trust you.' (David, in the Psalms, repeated over and over and over: I WILL praise, I WILL trust, I WILL love, etc.)

When it's 'against hope' (Rom. 4:18); when all my possessions are gone (Hab. 3:17-19); when I'm facing death (Job 13:15); when I don't understand what God is doing (Rom. 2:2; Gen. 18:25; Ecc. 8:17; Deut. 29:29; Job 1:21; 2:10); when I am in the midst of tribulation (2 Cor. 7:4) ; then I will praise Him and I can be exceeding joyful.

This theme is all through the Bible. If other people have been able to be exceeding joyful in all their tribulation - we can be also. We do not have to murmur or complain or be fearful - that will only displease the Lord (Num. 11:1). God expects us to trust Him; the only way we can please Him is to believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those that diligently seek Him (Heb.11:6). We must trust that His reward (whatever it is), is the reward we most need at that particular time in our life. Then like Jesus, tell Him, "Not my will, thine be done." (Luke 22:42)

If He doesn't make our marriage better - so what? He can strengthen us to bear it. That's simply a trial of our faith (Col. 3:2), which is more precious than gold (1 Pet. 1:3-8). If He doesn't heal us - so what? We can look to Him to help us endure it. He told Paul that He was NOT going to do what Paul asked. He said, "Paul - my strength is made perfect in weakness. I'll be your strength to live with this thorn in the flesh". When we know we are weak in a certain situation, we can run to Him for His strength. He wants us to depend on Him for strength to bear what He allows to come into our lives. We can let Him be our shield and our fortress. He may or may not get us out of our bad situation, but He will strengthen us.

I honestly believe He cares for me (1 Pet. 5:7-10) and therefore I can go before Him and tell Him, "Lord, you know how I would like this situation to be, and I ask that you make it so; but since I trust that YOU know what I really need - therefore I can pray 'not my will, thine be done'."

Do we come to Him in fear \- that He will not do what's best for us? Or do we come boldly, trusting that He will always do right (Gen. 18:5)? Trust Him to give you the grace to help in time of need (Heb. 4:15-16). Trust Him to make a way of bearing it when you're sorely tempted to give up or throw in the towel (Heb. 2:18; 1 Cor. 10:13). Trust that since you love Him, all the things you are going through will work together for good (Rom. 8:28). Cast it all on Him and let Him do as He pleases (1 Pet. 5:7-19). TRUST HIM! (Psalm 56:3) It will give you joy (James 1:2) and peace (Ph. 4:6-7) and it will please Him! (Heb. 11:6)

AND ABOVE ALL THINGS, WE SHOULD WANT TO PLEASE HIM - and not to please ourselves (Rom. 15:1-3).

Some Christians are very wealthy - some Christians are dirt poor.

Some Christians are very healthy - some Christians suffer terrible pain.

Some Christians have good husbands - some Christians have wicked husbands.

Some Christians live quiet and peaceable lives - some Christians have been burned at the stake.

Some Christians have all their family saved \- some Christians are kicked out of their families.

Do you get the point? NOT ALL CHRISTIANS ARE THE SAME. Your trials, temptations and tribulations are not the same as mine, nor will they be at the same time as mine. Jesus promised that in the world we would have tribulations and that the world would hate us, but Jesus also promised His presence, His love, His care and His strength. Don't let your CIRCUMSTANCES determine your love for Jesus. Love Him no matter what He does with you or how He deals with you. "Against hope - believe in hope." Without faith it is impossible to please God. Abel pleased God. Noah pleased God. Abraham pleased God. Moses pleased God. Caleb and Joshua pleased God. You can please God, but only by faith. Though everything seemingly goes wrong - trust Him and praise Him anyhow and you will have the victory. Faith is the victory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joseph Stowell: Sight and feeling are not faith. Faith is simply believing God. Sight is only seeing, so faith is only believing. Believing a lie does not help, but believing the truth does. Having parents who don't love us, spouses who cheat on us, spiritual leaders who disappoint us, or difficulties that we don't think we deserve often tempt us to invent a picture of God that is inconsistent with His true nature. All attempts at making Him into what we wish He would be turn God into a mere idol of our own imagination.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meekness and quietness of spirit become in time the characteristics of a surrendered life. Your consecration means the will of God is to be your will. You surrender your liberty of choice to His words of instruction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your home will never be without conflict, but how we deal with the conflict is one way of teaching our children how to deal with conflict.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MISSIONS: When it comes to our personal relationship with missions (taking the gospel/evangelizing around the world), there are only three kinds of people: those who refuse to care, those who see the cause of missions as a biblical responsibility executed by their local church, and those who are personally knowledgeable of what it means for missionaries to leave family, friends, and comforts to go to foreign, unfamiliar, even unwelcoming and hostile cultures for the preaching of the gospel of Jesus as the only name, the only way, the only saviour of the world.

The first group will answer to the Lord for their unconcern. The second group write checks for the missionaries and go on about their daily lives; the third not only give their money, but they pray, keep in touch, travel on vacations to help, and do all they can to make the missionaries know that they are loved and supported in their evangelization efforts. Let us not only be a 'check writer' [Yes, they need us to be that] who believes in the importance of missions. Let us get involved personally with these valiant ones who in our generation are living out the very heart of Jesus to go into all the world with the gospel. Let us value them. Let us write our checks and pray earnestly for them. Get their e-mail. Make contact. Tell them you love and admire them for what they are doing. Send them gifts. Take them out to eat. Have them stay at your home. Be a blessing to them when they are among us for a short time.

***************************************************

TEACHING THOUGHTFULNESS: Good parents teach their children that it is not enough to claim that you're being 'good' merely because you haven't punched anybody today or run off with anybody else's toys or cookies, haven't teased little brother or argued with mother. Parents must also teach positive acts of thoughtfulness such as doing obvious things without having to be asked: Feed the baby his applesauce, pick up the garbage the dogs strewed around the yard, help sister clean up her room, replace the paper and pencil that someone else took from near the telephone. In short, parents model and teach that Love is thoughtful of others. Love sees what ought to be done and goes ahead and does it. - Elisabeth Elliot

**********************************************

QUESTION: Do you think we can improve ourselves by our own willpower?

ANSWER: Of course - lost people do it all the time.

But as a Christian, you also have the Holy Spirit working in you to will and to do of His good pleasure. When you have desires to please Jesus (in whatever way) you can be sure it is the Holy Spirit prompting you. When you yield to the world, the flesh, and the Devil, you can be sure you have grieved and quenched the Holy Spirit. You can do more than any lost person could do through his own willpower, because you do it through Christ who strengthens you. You have an inner strength that lost people don't have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

QUESTION: Biblically what can you expect out of a church?

ANSWER: 1) Mostly conflict, if the Epistles are our guide.

2) People will act like people: disappoint us, hurt us, make us angry.

If these were not to be expected, the New Testament would only be half as thick as it is.

There are over 50 sins mentioned in the Scripture in Romans 1; 1 Tim. 1; Col. 3; Gal. 5 & Mark 7. That does not include the rest of the Bible where you just might find a few more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meditation: "The will of God is either a burden we carry or a power which carries us...When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away your ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer." – Corrie Ten Boom (1892-1983) (Survivor of Nazi concentration camps)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If it were going to be easy to raise children, it would never have started with something called labor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A ROSE CAN SAY I LOVE YOU,

ORCHIDS CAN ENTHRALL,

BUT A WEED BOUQUET IN A CHUBBY FIST -

OH MY, THAT SAYS IT ALL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Growing is a lifetime job. Don't ever think you've matured.

When disturbing news comes - say to yourself: "Here we GROW again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

Hope is not pretending that troubles don't exist - it is not dodging reality. It is trusting that they will not last forever, that hurts will be healed and difficulties overcome; that God can give us help in our time of need. Hope waits on the Lord to renew our strength.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JESUS IS LORD. IN ALL THINGS HE WILL HAVE THE PREEMINENCE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#  2004

## March 2004

For Women ONLY .....From Verlene Kincaid......an aged woman....

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

When I was growing up there was a song that had this phrase in it (speaking of the wife a man wanted to have): "She would never be cross; nor try to be boss."

As someone I know says: "In a perfect world, maybe". There is not a woman alive who is never cross nor tries to be boss. Not even in the "good old days". And now, thanks to Flower Power, Sexual Revolution, Equal Rights, etc., not only are we fighting our own selfish way of thinking, we are fighting the way our culture thinks. We have to start from square one when we become Christians. Here in America, we have freedoms and rights - we can choose whom we marry. This should be a well considered and prayed about choice. Even God gives us a choice - His way or our own way. I truly believe He has the better way.

As I begin this lesson, another song comes to my mind: "Same song, second verse; could get better, but might get worse." Ladies, are you being submissive and obedient yet? Well, that's why God put this teaching so often in the N.T.. We are all loathe to do this and yet we expect our children to be submissive and obedient to us, don't we? The same Jesus who expects and teaches children to be obedient to parents, expects wives to submit to their own husbands. So, don't get tired of this 'same old, same old' until you are putting it into practice more often than not. And even then, let's keep on reminding ourselves that it is good to do this. Our LORD gives these rules to us; not to browbeat us, but because He is a God of order and authority and not of confusion.

Our lesson is found in 1 Peter 3:1-4: "LIKEWISE" (in the same way as servants are to be subject to their masters AND as Jesus humbled himself and suffered for us - 2:18,21) "YE WIVES be in subjection to your own husbands." Not to all men; to a specific man - your own husband. (Hey, you chose him, I didn't.)

Subjection? That's a terribly strong word. Me? In subjection?

WHY? o WHY? Oh please tell me why!

Here is why: "That if any obey not the word they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they BEHOLD your chaste conversation." (Conversation = manner of life. The text defines it for you.)

Remember in Ch. 2 he told servants to be in subjection not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward? Well, if your husband is NOT good and gentle what should you do? Leave? Decide to pay him back? Do unto him as he does unto you? That is NOT the teaching of Christ or any of His apostles.

If your husband does not obey the word: This could mean he is unsaved, or it could mean he is a disobedient Christian; but it is not your job to push him to obey the word by your nagging. Your job is to win him by your manner of life. Do you hope to hear Jesus saying, "Well done"? If your husband is good and gentle and you are subject to him that is good; but if he's froward and you are subject to him - THIS is thankworthy (2:19). One of the reasons you do it is to win him to Jesus (3:1) by YOUR obedience to the word. God's word should be noticeably important to you even if it isn't important to your husband. He should SEE your good works - not your fancy outfits. Jesus wants your husband to be won - and you should also.

SINGLE WOMEN: Here is one reason God tells us to marry "in the Lord". If you marry a man who DOES obey the word and who IS good and gentle, it will be MUCH EASIER to be in subjection to him and your life can be truly blessed. If you choose to marry a lost man or a disobedient Christian - your life will be less blessed and it will be much more difficult for you to grow strong in the Lord (2:2). Obeying God's word has its own great reward (Psalm 19). Trust Him.

Verses 3-4 deal with TWO VERY IMPORTANT WORDS:

OUTWARD

HIDDEN

These words are of major importance in the Bible and make a very good Bible study themselves.

Your OUTWARD adorning is not what counts. Are you concerned about your outward adorning and unconcerned about your HEART? The whole Bible makes it clear that the heart is what is first and foremost in importance with God. If you major in fancy hairdos, expensive jewelry, or gorgeous apparel you are a foolish woman. But if you have the ornament (decoration) of a meek and quiet spirit you have an incorruptible, very valuable adorning. At least it's valuable in the sight of God, and I think it will be valuable in the sight of your husband also.

(This is not to say that you let yourself be dirty and slovenly in your outward appearance - just more concerned to be obedient than gorgeous.) (Or that outward deeds aren't important. In chapter 2 we saw that they were very important.)

When it comes to YOUR marriage, have you put into practice (adorned yourself with) meekness? Quietness? Subjection? Obedience? If not, why not? As the old saying goes, "Try it, you might like it." You and I might not prefer the meek and quiet spirit, but God does. We spend a LOT of time on our outward adorning. We should spend more time on our inward adorning - the HIDDEN man of the heart. We need to EXERCISE ourselves unto godliness (1 Timothy). That kind of exercise is very good for the HEART - and for the HOME. Let your spirit be meek and quiet. It might not make you the most glamourous or popular person around, but it will please God and very possibly win your husband.

**What are the main reasons we are so reluctant to obey and submit to our husbands?

  1. SELFISHNESS: I want to have MY way, instead of my husband having his way.

  2. WORLD MINDSET: I want to have my husband's position or at least I want it to be 50/50.

  3. LACK OF TRUST IN HUSBAND: Fear that he'll mess up our lives or fear of the loss of our own control over our own future.

  4. PRIDE: God hates pride. Proud Satan wanted to have what belonged only to God. Paul was given a thorn in the flesh lest he be exalted above measure, and he said he had LEARNED how to be abased and how to abound. (You had to learn how to add and subtract) Have YOU learned how to be abased? Or do you think you deserve to only abound? (See also Deut. 8:2-17)

Eph. 4:30-31: "Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice."

Anger, wrath, and clamour in the home; fights and arguments between husbands and wives, fathers and children, mothers and children, etc. - grieve the Holy Spirit of God. Not only homes, but churches can be destroyed by homes like that - because the Spirit is GRIEVED.

PRIDE - a huge sin which most of us practice and cling to.

HUMBLENESS - a quality most of us lack - especially in our marriages.

The HUMILITY of Jesus Christ allowed Him to get down and wash the smelly feet of dirty fishermen. (John 13) He was OBEDIENT to the death of the cross. He LEARNED obedience. (Phil. 2:5-8) Jesus said He was meek and lowly in heart (Mt. 11:29). Are WE too good to be meek and lowly in heart? Why are WE so proud that we can't be meek & quiet & in subjection & obedience? We rebel and say, "I don't want to." Well, maybe not - but we sure ought to. As born again believers, we have Jesus in us telling us to be meek and submissive. We have to RESIST the Holy Spirit when we resist being submissive, obedient, meek and quiet.

`````````````````````````````````````````````

Question: Do you feel your children were harmed by their being in a church where there were so few Young People and no Youth Programs?

Answer: To really know if they were harmed or not, you'll have to look at the fruit and then ask each of them personally. As for me, my feelings are that my kids were much more blessed than kids in a typical "children's church" or "youth program" setting. Most of those programs are geared for mediocrity - which is what many church members want. Lukewarmness is where they really want to be and stay, and are glad for their kids to be there too. A church like ours is not their cup of tea. We have been told often enough that we are too fanatical and that we 'expect too much' from our members. In truth, all we want is for us to live like the New Testament teaches. Why should we exempt ourselves & set lower standards?

Everyone of my children had the privilege of knowing wonderful young people who were committed to serving Jesus. Their church fellowship was going down town to pass out tracts, visiting door to door, witnessing, praying, and talking with one another about the things of the Lord. The older young people included and greatly helped the younger ones. Four of my children found godly spouses right in our own church, and the one who has chosen not to marry, had the same opportunities, but simply opted to stay single (at least for now).

I am strongly committed to the children being with the adults in church services and the young people learning to take responsibility for the church meetings. For many years, our young people were the bold, strong and energetic main-stay of the church. They were free to speak in the open meetings (& did so - becoming good preachers and teachers in the process). They led out in visitation, taught the children in Sunday School, volunteered for the nursery, came to work days and helped build our building. I have no regrets at all of the fellowship my kids found in our small church.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Books I recommend: Quest for Love \- by Elisabeth Elliot (For singles)

Frugal Families \- by Jonnie McCoy

Who Are You to Judge? \- by Erwin W. Lutzer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bless your husband and your marriage in these four ways:

  1. Through good and loving words spoken to and about him.

  2. Through practical ways of showing kindness to him in actions.

  3. Through conveying your attitude of thankfulness and appreciation for him.

  4. Through prayer to God on his behalf.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The best way to praise your husband is frequently.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be happy, drop the words if only and substitute instead with next time. -S. Blanton, M.D.

##

##  May 2004

For Women ONLY .....From Verlene Kincaid......an aged woman....

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

APRIL: To where did April disappear? April started out in a sweet, wonderful way - with prayer meetings. We were preparing for our annual conference on world evangelism. Thursday and Friday (April 1 & 2) were really sweet meetings, with good attendance. We were eagerly looking forward to this mission conference. It is Lyndell's favorite time of year - where he gets to really visit and pray with our missionaries every morning for a whole week. But then, God allowed an unexpected circumstance to change our plans. Lyndell had a heart attack, followed by open heart surgery with a quadruple by-pass.

His recovery has been beset with many problems. In fact, three weeks after his surgery, he started experiencing pain in his left arm. He said it was the same pain as when the attack had happened. I took him back to the emergency room, where he passed out (& fell) during his ex-ray. Our doctor said there was a chance that one of the by-passes could have failed, but since his kidneys had shut down when they did the dye test the first time, he did not want to do it again, unless absolutely necessary - to which Lyndell heartily agreed. They observed him overnight, and since his blood tests proved ok, we were allowed to go home. As of today, May 3rd (exactly one month since I took him to the EMS in Boerne the first time), he is doing pretty good. The big exception is his knee, which he hurt when he passed out during the ex-ray. He got his first good night's sleep in almost a month and that has helped from his being so tired.

We continue to covet your prayers and thank you whole-heartedly for these and all other out-pourings of love. We are very blessed by your care and concern.

My verse for this month is meant to encourage you in your particular trial; we all have some but a few are more difficult than others. In our church family, one family is going through a trial "more difficult than Job's" - as per the words of a wise man I know. He told me that what that family was facing would be worse than what Job faced when God allowed Satan to attack him.

Here is my verse: "When they heard of the resurrection of the dead, some mocked; and others said we will hear thee again of this matter." Acts 17:32

When we hear of the resurrection of the dead does it thrill us? Do we mock? Do we procrastinate? Do we want to hear more?

The resurrection of the dead was the central theme of the early believers. The most important thing about their life on earth was that their life on earth wasn't the most important thing. Their life after death was what counted, and the resurrection of Jesus guaranteed that they would live again and be with Him through all eternity.

Remember, weary Christian \- even if your circumstances right now are horrific, your future is glorious. Jesus rose from the dead. We will rise from the dead. We will be changed from these vile creatures that we are. Our tears will be wiped away. We will sorrow no more. And yea, though we walk through whatever valley the Lord takes us through, we can walk without fear. He will never leave us nor forsake us. He hurts when we hurt. He cares. He comforts. He strengthens. He gives grace to help in time of need. If a person has received Jesus as his personal saviour from sin - whatever else happens in this life is secondary. Be it good or bad, it is secondary. No matter how horrible our situation might be, this life will pass away and there is a resurrection of the dead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A book I recommend: Keeping Your Kids sexually Pure by La Verne Tolbert

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Question: How do you handle the death of a loved one who dies without Jesus as his saviour?

Answer: I faced this when I was a very young believer. I had to decide whether I loved and trusted God more than I loved the person who had died. I had to tell God that I honestly believed that whatever He did was right and I'd trust His decisions - even when my heart hurt at the consequences of His decisions. I realized that He loved the people I loved much more than I did and had died for them - which was much more than I ever did. So how could I not just trust Him to do the right thing? If they went to Hell, it was over Christ's dead body and my Saviour meant more to me than they did.

That was a very hard, soul-searching, sad, bewildering, discouraging time for me - but my faith in Jesus and in His Word and in His ways being right - kept me centered in His love and not in my grief. We have to be willing to let God do as He sees best - no matter how we feel about it. And love Him and trust Him to comfort our hearts. He knows our sorrows.

What good could it possibly do anyone if we let ourselves get angry with God over what He chooses to do? Therefore, we can just rest in knowing that 'the Judge of all the earth shall do right'. Gen. 18:25.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faith comes by hearing and results in doing. (Read Hebrews 11 if you doubt this.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life-changing decisions:

  1. Getting saved forever changes your life.

  2. Getting married forever changes your life.

  3. Having children forever changes your life.

One of the main problems in our society is that people are expected to raise children in their spare time. Before having children, couples should restate their marriage vows, writing them on a legal contract, signing them and putting them in their pastor's hands. They must vow to make a home for their children and to make it a happy, contented place for all the family to be.

"It takes great courage and foresight to say as my father did: 'I don't care what you think of me now; I am concerned with what you will think of me twenty years from now.' It takes even greater courage to say: 'Better that the children should cry than the parents'. Sooner or later the child rebukes the parents for not having compelled him to do the right thing, saying: 'Why did you listen to me? I was only a KID!'. Making a child unhappy today in the interest of a better tomorrow requires a stout heart." - Sam Levenson

Parental authority is not a privilege. It is a responsibility. Parents are responsible for their children's well-being. Children are under their authority and submission/obedience is not a choice but a requirement. A 16 year old does not have a vote in what to obey or when to obey, unless the parents give them a vote in setting rules and consequences. The parents are not freed from their responsibility even if they would like to be. They can't tell their child, "I quit. You take responsibility for yourself."

Any child who is lucky enough to be born into a disciplined home is already in possession of one of the greatest 'advantages'. A child needs discipline as much as he needs air and food and water. The child who is disciplined knows and feels he is loved. The parent who feels he must have the approval of his children at all times has abdicated the role of parent and becomes a frightened child himself.

If a wife wants to be very generous she may grant that her husband lives up to 80% of her expectations. She may choose to chip away at the other 20% till death them do part, or she may elect instead simply to enjoy the 80% she's got - enjoy it and thank God for it. How much more fun life will be for both of them if they elect to enjoy one another!

\- Elisabeth Elliot quoting her husband

*************************************************

HELPFUL HINT: Have a vacation at home. But make it a REAL one: No chores, no errands, no phones, etc. Go out to eat, go to movies, play games, go to the zoo, the park, the museum; go see all the 'tourist places' right in your own town, or within a 50 mile drive. (Tell everyone you're on vacation and you'll see or call them after it's over - not during it.)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Home improvements are great. Souls in heaven are greater. Let's invest more in souls than any other thing. The discipline of giving a certain percentage of our income to the Lord's work EVERY MONTH helps us overcome our covetousness. Give generously and cheerfully and let God love you for it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Husbands. Do something alone with your husband at least once a month (more if possible).

Don't use ANY of these excuses:

  1. No place to leave kids

  2. Not enough time

  3. Not enough money

  4. Too tired

  5. Nothing to do together

  6. Too cold/too hot

  7. Too much else to do

These things may be mostly true - but your marriage is more important than anything that keeps you from keeping this date with your husband and yourself.

Think about the alternatives. If we neglect us and end up divorced :

  1. Who will take care of our kids then?

  2. Will we have

    1. More time?

    2. More money?

    3. More energy?

    4. More places to go?

    5. Better weather?

    6. Less to do?

All people choose to do things every day they'd rather not do. Your marriage requires you to take care of the couple and not concentrate on the individual or even the kids. Remember that your marriage is very important to the Lord and should be to yourself. If it isn't - shame on you - repent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All Christian married people have a responsibility to God and to themselves to get along.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we are tried by God, we are being required to learn whether our faith is real or just talk.

\- Sharon Dix

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chemistry and infatuation are one thing. The hard work of marriage is quite another.

\- Celeste Fremon

****************************************************************

You won't be happy until you're happy to be content.

****************************************************************

You can honor your parents by speaking well of them whenever possible, praying for them, and forgiving them.

****************************************************************

Excellence I can reach for. Perfection won't come until my body is transformed - when I'll be like Jesus.

****************************************************************

Never let a kind word go unsaid.

*****************************************************************

In 2002: 17,970 Americans died in alcohol-related traffic crashes - about one an hour, and 252,000 were injured. In what other area of public life do we tolerate an absolutely predictable loss of more than 17,000 lives a year?

\- Good Housekeeping \- July, 2003

******************************************************

Let us not dig up in doubt what we have planted in faith. - John Patteson, Missionary to Melanesia

*******************************************************************

Church is not a place to go and get, but a group to gather with and serve. If you attend expecting only to receive, you will grow cranky, critical and unsatisfied. You must realize you are a significant part of the church's ministry and find ways to give even when things get crazy. - K. Dockery

********************************************************************

EVERY DAY DO AT LEAST ONE THING CONSTRUCTIVE.

*************************************************************

Teenagers break your heart and tax your patience and make you feel frustrated and angry and full of love at the same moment.

****************************************************

God is never at a loss to look after those who are busy doing what He has instructed.

****************************************************

Jesus Christ is Lord!

*****************************************************

##  September 2004

For Women ONLY .....From Verlene Kincaid......an aged woman...

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

This month I would like to finish out the study on 1 Peter 3. Peter dealt with the wives in the first part, but now in verse 7 he says: 'Likewise, ye husbands... " Husbands also have a tremendous duty in marriage, and this verse has a warning to them: "... that your prayers be not hindered. "

God loves to answer prayer - but prayers can be hindered (read v. 12 also).

Peter then says 'Finally...." These next exhortations ore for both husband and wife. Pay close attention because these verses ore most important to building a good marriage. He tells us to:

  1. Have compassion on each other

  2. Love each other

  3. Be full of pity for each other

  4. Be courteous to each other

  5. Don't repay evil for evil or railing for railing to each other

  6. Always give a blessing

Don't you know that we are called to inherit a blessing? Just knowing that should make us quick to bless others, especially our husbands.

Most of us want to love our lives and not be miserable. Most of us want to see good days and not bad ones (V. 10-11), BUT it's up to US to be sure it happens! Here's Gods recipe for seeing good days and a happy life:

  1. Refrain our tongues from speaking evil (either to or about our husbands)

  2. Refrain from guile

  3. Hate evil and do good

  4. Seek peace and ensue (actively pursue) it

FOR the ears of the Lord are open to the prayers of the righteous but against those that do evil. (It is a matter of what you do - not just who you are.) Are you a follower of that which is good? (V.13) Then you just may be able to love your life and see good days.

Now Peter comes up with a phrase we hesitate about reading: '"BUT & IF..." What if it is not God's will that you see good days? What if it is God's will that you suffer? Does that surprise you - that God might WILL that you suffer - for righteousness' sake? We have heard for too long the prosperity' gospel, hence we don't want to read these kind of verses. We like to hear "Something

GOOD is going to happen to you.....God says, through Peter, that it just might be His will that you

SUFFER for doing right. What does Peter say about that? HAPPY ARE YE!!! There is not a doubt about it in Peter's mind. Don't be afraid or troubled, be happy! If you have done right, THEY will be ashamed and YOU will be blessed. But if you have done wrong, then don't complain - you deserve to suffer for doing wrong. When they falsely accuse you, don't rail at them; answer them in meekness. If you walk in this manner, the ears of the Lord are open to your prayers. If you are doing evil, the Lord is against you. Don't think He is thrilled to answer the prayers of those who are doing evil. He tells you to DO GOOD! So what more can I say than what to you He has said: Hate evil and do good! Be compassionate; love; be full of pity; be courteous; repay evil with good. And leave the result to Him.

Most of you women who receive this paper are women who truly want to live for Jesus in a way that pleases Him. Never forget that in order to do so, we must have the Holy Spirit strengthening our inner life. Without Him. we cannot live for His glory. So the first thing we need to seek is to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

"The fruit of the Spirit is love..." (GaL 5:22)

Has it been our experience that the more the Holy Spirit controls us, the more loving we become? If we are asking for the Holy Spirit to fill us, we should expect more power, yes - BUT the first thing we should expect is more love. The Holy Spirit is a Spirit of love!

Not only are you commanded to love your husband simply because he is your husband, but if he is saved, he is also a brother in Christ and you are commanded to love him as such. Has your marriage disintegrated to the point you think of your husband as your enemy? Well, you ore also commanded to love your enemies, your commitment is to love the man you are married to, even if he is mostly unlovable. How nice it would be if everyone was lovable and deserved our love. But in truth, we are all sinners and therefore never totally deserving of anyone's love.

The fruit of the Holy Spirit is a love which shows in our actions. The fruit of the Spirit is love because "God is love." (1 Jn. 4:8). God is not selfish; his Nature is to be giving. And we as His children! God delights to pour His love into us and to deliver us from our selfishness. Nothing but the Holy Spirit can expel and conquer our selfishness. He does so by filling us with love. He helps us quit thinking of ourselves or seeking our own Deliverance from self means to be overflowing with love for others, including our husband.

The one great need of your husband is love. Give it to him. Shower it on him. Don't let selfishness triumph in your life or in your marriage. Is your husband selfish? Then don't pay him back in kind. Be as unselfish with him as you possibly can. Selfishness does not love. Jesus calls us to live and walk in love.

The promise of Jesus is that He is able to fill our hearts with love. Believe and accept the truth that the Holy Spirit can pour love into your heart. The fruit of the Spirit is love..." God can and is willing to shed His love abroad in your heart (Rom. 5:5). But don't ask for this as a comfort, a joy, a happiness, and a pleasure for yourself. The love of God is an indwelling power for serf-sacrifice. We must realize that our happiness will be found in being like Christ. Godly = like God; and to be Godly is to love. Dear sisters, let us not love in word only, but in deed also.

God wraps up gifts in very strange packages.

Question: I am divorced and married again. What is your advice to me? How do I handle the situation? How can I possibly teach my children about marriage when I feel like such a failure?

Answer: If I were you, the first thing I would do (if you have never done so) would be to get alone with God and confess my sin (in the divorce situation) to Him (1 Jn. 1:9). 1 Cor. 7 tells us what is expected of us in a marriage. If you willingly or ignorantly disobeyed, you need to confess it. Did you depart from your first husband? Confess it. Did you refuse to get reconciled to your first husband? Confess It. Did you choose to not remain unmarried? Confess it. God is the business of forgiving and of helping us overcome the past messes that we've made of our lives.

Secondly, I would ask God to strengthen me and give me wisdom to make my present marriage the strongest, happiest and Godliest marriage possible. He is the God of second chances. He can forget your past and give you a wonderful present and future.

Thirdly, I would start today to build my house on the Scriptures and just see what God can do. What he's done for others. He'll do for you. He wants your present home to be a joy for you, your husband, and your children. And He will help you make it so if you ask Him.

Fourthly, you can teach your children what a Godly marriage is, because you have the Scriptures to show them how to build one. (You do not have to be perfect in order to show someone what the Bible teaches about living Godly.) You can explain to them where you failed in your first marriage and how you have tried to make your present marriage one that pleases the Lord. You can tell them that you still fail, but that you are still trying. Your children know you aren't perfect, but they need to hear you admit your mistakes. If you failed them by getting the divorce, you need to ask them for their forgiveness also. Children can be very forgiving and they need to see repentance in action; that way they will know that when they fail, they also can repent and come back into a close fellowship with the Lord. But let them know that there is always a price to pay when we go against God's written word. Don't give them the idea that sinning is ok or something to be 'played around' with just because God continually forgives. Teach them the great truth that although God does forgive brokenhearted sinners, forgiveness does NOT annul the consequences of sin. Getting drunk and killing someone, when driving while intoxicated, can be forgiven, but it will never bring back the life of the person killed. Getting angry and starting a fight can be forgiven, but if you've lost an eye in the fight, God will not replace it. Let them be fully aware that all sin (but one) can be forgiven, but that all sin has it's own consequences (Romans 1).

CHILDREN: More and more our children are faced with stress in every area of their lives. Help them out

where you can:

  1. Keep them moving. Exercise relieves pent-up energy and reduces stress.

  2. Limit TV and computer time.

  3. Have them do deep breathing.

  4. Teach them to relax and make sure they have time to relax.

  5. Insist on a daily family meal, and not a rushed one.

  6. Enforce bedtime.

  7. Make home a happy place to be.

  8. Give them limits and security.

  9. Take time to talk to them, to play with them, and to enjoy them.

  10. Incorporate a weekly day of rest and worship for the family.

ETERNAL / CARNAL DECISIONS: CHOICES = CONSEQUENCES

  1. Moses chose to not live for this life, but for eternity. Heb. 11:23-28

  2. Paul says that Christian leaders must not entangle themselves with this life.

  3. They must provide for their families, but their first loyalty Is to Jesus, the  
one who has called them to be a soldier for Him.

  4. We must choose affliction (with the people of God) over pleasures (of sin for a season).

  5. We must choose for long term, not short term. (Like Moses. Like Paul: We need to place more value on eternal reward than on earthly gain. It is our choice.

Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Paul, Timothy and others have been successful in living for eternity and we can too. We can choose to set our affections on things above instead of on things below. This is a decision WE make with OUR will. God tells us to do this and He works in us to desire this, but He leaves the choice up to us.

When it comes to time, NOW is all that we have.

Love never mocks; Truth never lies.

JESUS CHRIST IS LORD!

##  November 2004

For Women ONLY.....From Verlene Kincaid......an aged woman....

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

In Exodus 5, Moses and Aaron go in to speak with Pharaoh, the King of Egypt. Here is what they say to him: 'Thus saith the Lord God of Israel: LET MY PEOPLE GO."

Can you imagine this scenario? These two Hebrews walk into the presence of the King of the greatest nation on earth and tell him that THE GOD of the SLAVES demands that these slaves be released. These people have been nobodies for 400 years and no doubt Pharaoh thinks to himself, 'where has this Lord God been for all these years?'. But here come two of them, brazenly speaking in the name of the Lord, saying this God had MET WITH THEM AND TALKED WITH THEM and was telling PHARAOH what to do.

Pharaoh responded as would be expected;" WHO is the Lord, that I should obey his voice?" He chased them out and told them to get to work; that they had too much idle time on their hands. And then he made the life of the children of Israel more miserable than ever. The elders in Israel first complained to Pharaoh and then to Moses - blaming Moses for adding to their misery.

Poor Moses! What did he do? He prayed! (Verses 22-23) Hear his prayer:

WHY LORD?

Why are you mistreating your people?

Why did you send me?

I went to pharaoh like you told me to do - (I obeyed your words).

I spoke boldly to him in thy name - (I expected you to back me up. I thought he would let us go)

YOU did not deliver thy people at all - (You sent me to deliver them, but you have not kept your word; they aren't delivered, only in more distress.) I have been made a fool and a liar in the eyes of everyone.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

Have you ever felt this way? Sometimes we obey the Lord and yet nothing seems to go right for us - in fact it often gets worse. That's when we cry to the Lord and ask 'Why? Why? Why? We tell the Lord that here we are trying to serve him, but everything is worse than before. What is happening? I trusted your WORD and YOU have not done as I expected you to do)

But hold on a minute! GOD may have some grand thing He wants to do and He may allow you to suffer awhile before this can be accomplished (1 Pet. 5:10). When this happens (remember that he warned you it might happen) you can complain like Moses and Job did - but hang on - trust God to work it out. You can't see the big picture - you just see your immediate situation. He may be working a work that is going to be unbelievable when it is all over - like He did in Moses' case. He destroyed the greatest nation on earth and delivered his nobody people in such a way that the rest of the world heard and feared. What Moses expected was not what God planned. God had greater plans than just getting his slaves out of their bad circumstances.

Lyndell and I have long observed that when God opens your eyes to some truth in the Bible - get ready, because He is surely going to test your faith and make that particular truth very, very, very real to you. It will become a living truth that you will never forget.

For example if you read Habakkuk 3:17-19 in your doily Bible readings and simply read the words, it may be no big deal to you. But if God hits you in the heart with it and you are amazed at such a statement of faith; if you meditate about it and wonder how anyone could rejoice in the Lord during such terrible trouble - get ready: God just may be preparing you to face a hard situation and letting you see ahead of time what kind of reaction would be a good one to have. Then, when the trial comes. He can bring these verses to your mind and you can bow your head and worship His ways.

When you face trials - rejoice! (James 1:2-3; 1 Peter 1:6-7; etc.) This is the right response. How can you do this you wonder? Through Christ which strengthens you (Phil.4:13). Through His giving you grace to help in time of need (Heb.4:15-16). Yea, though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death - He will be with you (Ps. 23). He cores for you (1 Pet.5:7) and will not let you be tempted above that ye are able to bear (1 Cor. 10:13).

Asking WHY is not a sin. But doubting His love and His care when things start going wrong - that is. This trial of our faith may also be God working something glorious that we might never see. Our response is to stand by faith - (and rejoice!). When you step out by faith, and things go wrong, keep trusting. God might have great things in mind.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS:

Question: What exactly does 'walking in the light' mean?

Answer: 1 John 1:6-8 tells us we can walk in darkness or walk in the light. It says that if we say we have fellowship with Him and walk in darkness, WE LIE. Then it clarifies it: If we say that we have no sin, WE LIE. It says that if we walk in the light, the blood of Jesus cleanseth us from all sin. Then it clarifies it: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to cleanse us from all unrighteousness It seems clear to me that walking in the light' means admitting we are sinners, and confessing our sins instead of denying we have them.

In John 3:19-21, Jesus makes it clear that men will not come to the light lest their deeds be reproved. He says they love darkness because their deeds are evil. He says that all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light. Eph. 5:13 says that "whatsoever doth make manifest is light."

If you are walking in the light, your life is an open book. You are not SAYING one thing and DOING another. You aren't afraid to have your computer website or e-mail usage on a printout where everyone can read it. You aren't hiding your reading list, or fearful of having your TV/Movie list on public display. If you find deeds that are evil in yourself, you WANT them to be reproved. You are willing to confess them and forsake them instead of denying them or secretly enjoying them. Jesus says the world loves darkness and hates light - they hate having their deeds shown as evil or reproved. Jesus, the Scriptures, and His church are continually exposing sin for what it is - therefore men hate all three.

If you are 'walking in the light' you are continually confessing any and all sin in your life. You are living a life of quick repentance when your deeds are reproved. You don't mind having sin exposed for what it is; evil and deadly. You face up to your sin and agree with the Lord as to how horrible it is, and you ask Him to help you overcome it. When we got saved we turned from darkness to light (Acts 26:18); we brought to light the hidden things of darkness (1 Cor. 4:5); and we became children of light (Eph. 5:8). Therefore if we SAY we have fellowship with God and walk in darkness, we LIE (1 John 1:6). Our fellowship is broken until we walk in the light once again, by confessing our sin and getting cleansed.

"If all the unchurched people in the United States (33% of our population) were to establish their own country, they would form the 11* most populated nation on the planet." - George Barna

WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT FAMILY DINNER? Teens who ate dinner five to seven times a week with their families were 45% less likely to try alcohol, 24% less apt to smoke marijuana and 67% more likely to get A's compared with kids who never or rarely dined with their families, according to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.

When we get discouraged in our Christian ministry, and we ask ourselves this very important question, "Why bother?", just remember this response: Because Jesus tells us to bother! - Charles Colson

HUSBANDS: Dear sisters, have you ever considered that your opposition to your husband is in reality opposition to God? Do your children see you as meek and quiet and submissive? If they don't, you may as well admit you aren't a very good Christian - no matter how much you attend the assembly, how much you do for the church or neighbors, etc. You chose to marry your husband. You now need to choose to be meek and quiet and submissive to him!

Books I recommend:

Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot

The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartitan

15 Minute House and Budget Manager by Emilie Barnes

Basic Training for a Few Good Men by Tim Kimmel (For your sons)

This Little Church Went to Market by Gary E. Gilley

"You never get much credit for raising a good child, you only get a lot of blame they turn out bad"

We should:

Think Biblically,

Live Christianly,

Serve Faithfully,

Share Regularly. • J. M. Stowell

A great hint: Put your marriage vows in writing, sign them and hang them in your home for you and your children to see.

Discipline: Discipline is key. Children understand what is acceptable and what isn't when they are disciplined. If children don't experience the consequences of discipline early, they won't appreciate the value of consequences when they are older. - la Verne Tolbert

If parents don't keep their promises, the children won't see any reason for keeping theirs. Parents must not give their word on anything unless they are positive they can keep H. If there can be any chance of it not happening, explain that to them. But donl constantly disappoint them by empty promises.

What man desires is a death where there is no judgment. He also desires his life to be one of not being judged, but yet he wants you to be judged when you steal or rape or murder. He says his lifestyle is his business, but he doesn't want your lifestyle to be totally your business. He wants policemen and jails and judges for other people - but wants no one to judge his own actions. HE has freedom - YOU have rules. - S. N. P.

Once in a conversation with Brother Dale, he mentioned that Jeremiah 10:2-4 were some life-style changing verses for him and his family. They were for Lyndell & myself also. The KJV says exactly what God wanted said and the new versions had to add WORDS to make it non-applicable to modem Christianity. As Dale said,. 'When I read it, I understood EXACTL Y what it was talking about - there was no doubt in my mind."

For those of you on a diet, here's a special cheesecake recipe just for you: Use lettuce instead of cream cheese, carrots instead of sugar and onions instead of cherry sauce. Enjoy! - by Glasbergen

JESUS IS LORD!

#  2005

## March 2005

For Women only ..from Verlene Kincaid an aged woman

Titus 2:3-5 - 'The aged women.....be... Teachers of good things;.....teach the young women...'

On February 5th we had a women's day re treat o f faith, fellowship, food, and fun. We had as our t he me ' Having a Quiet Heart' - with 6od, at work, at home, at church, etc. My part was having a quiet heart with God and I am going to use port of my lesson for this newsletter. Hope it blesses you!

In Matthew 10:34 and Luke 12:51 Jesus says he did not come to send peace, but a sword/division. We've just come through a very sentimental time where the words peace on earth' echoed all around. Aliens from outer space (angels) spoke those words to some shepherds. IS there peace on earth though? This a PROPHECY of two things: 1) By Jesus coming to earth and dying, peace was going to be made possible between 6od and all men. 2) Jesus (the Prince of Peace) would someday have a thousand year reign of peace on earth. But for NOW^ Jesus clearly said he did NOT come to send peace.

In the gospels. Jesus told believers they would be reviled, persecuted, have evil spoken falsely against them. etc. In 2 Tim. 3:12, Paul says all who will live Godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. Jesus did NOT tell us, "Set saved and all will go perfect for you." Ves, you have the new; man in you, but also the old man fighting for control. You have the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life to contend with - you will be fighting yourself the rest of your life. Also, you will be dealing with other sinners just like yourself. On top of that, you have the devil seeking to devour you.

Peace? Where is peace? How can it be possible for us to have quiet hearts?

In John 16;33 Jesus tells us to be of good cheer. He says in the world we shall have tribulation, but in him we can have peace. We can be like Martha and be troubled about many things, or we can be like Mary and choose the better part. (Of course, as you all know first hand, we can't sit at Jesus' feet 24 hours a day - we must provide for our basic life's needs - even Mary, had to do that.)

But Jesus does want us to take time out to renew our minds and hearts. In Mark 6:31 & 46, we are told that Jesus took time out to pray: He and His disciples 'went apart" when they were being over-whelmed. Paul (in 1 Cor. 7) even got so practical about it he made provision for a wife or a husband to get apart from each other (sexually and every other way) - to fast and pray.

WE NEED TIME TO OURSELVES - TO BE ALONE WITH 60D. Read: Is. 40.31: Eph. 4:23; Col. 3:10: 2 Cor. 4:16: Our INNER MAN has to be renewed daily.

In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says, "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me for I am meek and lowly in heart and ye shall find rest unto your souls." He says His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

I. COME to have a quiet heart you need to go

  1. A You must see tne NEED to go Having a quiet time alone with Jesus is food for your soul and rest for you.

  2. You must make a COMMITMENT to go; Don't tell yourself I should. Tell yourself, I choose to. Make it a priority - as necessary as eating, sleeping, bathing, brushing your teeth, etc You must commit to make it happen, not just hope it will.

  3. You must FIND A WAY to go: (There is no rule as to when or how - find out what works for you.)

  1. Look at your lifestyle and your family needs'- Are you Single' Married? Do you have children? Are you working outside of the home?

  2. What time would be best for you, your situation, your personality?

  1. Early morning - before anyone else is up. (Or late at mght • after bedtimes)

  2. After husband and kids are off to work and school, but before chores.

  3. After husband is gone - while young ones take naps.

  4. After supper dishes are done and others are busy with homework, etc.

  5. In middle of night when husbands snores or baby s cries wake you up.

  6. At break time or lunch time (if working outside of home)

Walk and pray - 15 minute break m a.m.

Sit and read - 15 minute break in p.m.

Eat in car at lunchtime in order to be alone.

Listen to Bible tapes and pray on way to and from work.

  3. Don't let it add to your stress - let it be a joyful, strengthening time.

If this is new, start slowly. Read one chapter of the N.T. - letting God talk to you. Pray for one person and/or one Situation - talk to God. Gradually add more chapters and more things to pray about. ALWAYS ask Jesus to give you the rest He has promised.

Never forget this truth: He gives to those who COME and to those who ASK not to those who NEED and yet never go and never ask.

II. UNTO ME Who is this person asking us to come unto him'

  1. Jesus was mistreated doubted, blasphemed, mocked, despised, rejected... If such things happen to you, how do you react Are you heartbroken discouraged, fretful, scored, angry, hurt, doubtful' Are you calm, steadfast, and submissive to the Lord?

  2. Jesus did not seek approval of men. If what God gives you is not sufficient for you and you seek something from people, you will not have a quiet heart (John 5:44)

  3. Jesus is meek. Are you meek? Whether you have or have not. can you say. 'All is well?'' Or do you fret if Jesus doesn't give you what you want?

  4. Jesus is lowly in heart, Our problem is we are haughty in heart. We are conceited and insolent. We are Simply too good to be treated in a manner which we think s humbling. If our heart is arrogant, we will find no rest for our souls. Nothing can surpass the joy of putting ourselves in God's hands and letting Him manage our life. If we are unhappy or dissatisfied it is because we have not taken the Lord's yoke, nor learned of Him. HE IS LOWLY. HE IS MEEK.

III. TAKE his yoke, take his burden, you shall find rest for your souls.

His rest has nothing to do with not having a yoke or a burden. We are expected to be sharing his yoke. We are expected to share his burden. Your quiet time is to get to really know Jesus. He deserved praise and honor and glory and he took upon himself ridicule and slander and abasement. Learn of Him. He has a yoke for us which means letting him control us. He has a burden for us, but he promises it isn't heavy. We CAN find rest for our souls. We CAN have a quiet heart.

IV. TO HAVE A QUIET HEART. YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN ANCHOR.

  1. When I got saved, I was 16 and knew very little about the Bible, but I read it from cover to cover that first year. MY anchor was God's word -1 had already determined it (and it alone) would be my guide.

  2. When Lyndell and I started dating, he was a Methodist and I was a Baptist, but we both knew OUR anchor was the Bible. We trusted it and not our opinions.

  3. When we started having kids the world was facing Communist conquests all over the globe and we had our boys memorize important verses - we knew THEIR anchor HAD to be scripture.

I am here to tell you that you as an individual CAN find rest for your soul. You CAN have a quiet heart with God. It is possible and I would encourage you to GO to Jesus, and LEARN of HIM.

V. SCRIPTURES THAT I HAVE TAKEN AS MY TENT STAKES - to keep me from blowing away: Gen. 15:1 God is my exceeding great reward -1 will always have HIM

Hab. 3:17-19 I will praise the Lord anyhow' \- bad times will not destroy me Job 13:15 Tho He slay me, yet will I trust Him

Job. 1:21, 2:10 He gives and He takes away \- blessed be His name whatever He does

Rom. 2:2 God's judgment is right -1 can trust it

Sen. 18:25 God shall do right -1 can count on it

Eccl. 8:16-17 & Deut. 29:29 God does not owe us explanations

Rom. 4:18 We CAN believe - even against hope - Abraham did

2 Cor. 7:4 We CAN be joyful in tribulations \- many have been

Numbers 11:1 It displeases the Lord when we complain

Heb. 11:6 It pleases the Lord when we have faith

Jesus says in Rev. 3:20 - "If any will hear my voice and open the door, I will come in and sup with him and he with me." He really wants you to have a quiet heart. Don't let yourself be shortchanged - He will sup with you if you open the door. You can't force yourself to have a quiet heart, but you can take steps to get one: GO - get alone with Jesus. OPEN - let Him in. ASK - for a quiet heart.

Jeremiah 26:14: "As for me, behold, I am in your hand: do with me as seemeth good & meet unto you."

THIS IS TRUST. THIS IS PEACE. THIS IS REST.

THIS IS A QUIET HEART WITH GOD.

WE MUST BE THE MOTHERS OUR CHILDREN NEED, NOT THE MOTHERS THEY THINK THEY WANT. - Nancy Snyderman

When it comes to the assembly or to missions:

The Holy Spirit is far more effective than money.

Being 'spiritual' is not the same as loving Jesus Many people claim to be or are thought of as spiritual' They talk sweet, they act sweet, they give devotional talks, they sing devotional songs, they teach devotional books, etc BUT Jesus said the ones who love Him are those who obey Him

When it comes to courage, no one is entitled to an armchair opinion about that. - James A. Michcner

Morality implies values above and beyond emotion. What you do is exactly who you are. What you choose to do under difficult conditions shows who you are more than what you do in so-called normal times. – SNP

Every tongue shall confess that JESUS IS LORD!

##  May 2005

For Women only ..from Verlene Kincaid - an aged woman.............MAY 2005

Titus 2:3-5 - "The aged women.....be.,., teachers of good things;.....teach the young women... "

Proverbs 29:15,17; "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; ye, he shall give delight unto thy soul."

Moms, the Bible is clear that your children must be taught the right way to go. This takes time out of your day. You have each child for 18 years and then they are no longer under you as a 'schoolmarm' at home. The Bible in these verses (and elsewhere) teach that the rod and reproof are necessary for your child to get wisdom. You are told to correct your child. When a student answers a question wrongly, it is up to the teacher to correct his answer: not by beating him over the head, but by showing him it was wrong and how it was wrong and what is the right answer. If a teacher fails to do this, the child will always think the answer he gave was the right one. To learn later on that his answer is wrong will be a much harder lesson. You would not put up with a teacher who did this to your child.

If you fail to correct your child (with verbal reproof and instruction when possible or with the rod when necessary) he has no way of knowing he did wrong. If you let him get away with something ten times and then (when you finally get tired enough of it) you spank him for it, he only becomes confused. But if you correct him for it every time, he will team the right way. The responsibility is on you. You have to discipline yourself to be a diligent mom; one who is faithful to correct your children with the rod and reproof. Moms who abandon their responsibility because it is too difficult or too tiresome hurt their children and make the home miserable.

Listen to what the proverb says about your reaping when you are diligent; "He will give you rest", and even more than that, he will give "delight to your soul". But if you fail to do your job, this is your reaping; ,;he will bring you to shame".

Do people dread your bringing your children for a visit? The shame is on you - not on the children. It's not their fault they are wild and unruly - it is yours. It is their nature to test your diligence every day. It is their nature to wander astray and it is your duty to teach them the dangers of their sinful nature and to correct them as long as they are under your care. They are a trust from God and you are a steward of their souls.

Don't follow what the psychologists tell you, follow what God tells you. It always amazes me how moms will trust some worldly counselor and not trust God's Word about the problem. I promise you this much: If you are diligent in teaching and correcting in their very tender years, you'll have rest and joy to your soul as they get older. If they learn to obey you at one year of age, there will be fewer rod sessions at nine and ten years of age. But if you let them get away with disobeying you at one year of age, where will you be when they turn fourteen? They very well may bring you to shame.

Even diligent parents have sinful children who will desire to do things that will cause themselves and others harm - especially from the years of 13-18. You must not quit on them. You must continue the correcting and the reproof until they leave your home. At 18, when they move away, then their actions are their responsibility. If they do shameful things then, it will hurt you deeply and grieve your spirit, but if you trusted God and were diligent in your responsibility from birth to IB, their adult actions are not to your shame. They have been taught the right way and have willingly refused to walk in it - that is to their shame. It will break your heart for them, but it does not need repentance on your part. But if you were a careless and indulgent parent, you will be shouldering much of the shame before the Lord.

Well disciplined children bring rest and delight all the years of your life. God's word is So very true.

Personal: Lyndell and I celebrated our 50rh wedding anniversary in March. Doesn't that seem incredible? We have had our ups and downs, but all in all, we have had a marvelous life filled with love and grace and mercy. We are two of the most blessed people on earth! We praise the Lord daily!!!

BE A GOOD ANCESTOR: STAND STRONG FOR JESUS.

A book I recommend: Girl in the Mirror by Nancy L Snyderman, M.D.

This is not written from a Christian standpoint necessarily, but has some very good insights and things for us all to consider as we raise our girls. It will also make you think about your own life.

QUESTION: Why do you so dislike the modern Bible versions?

ANSWER: This in itself is a study that 1 wish all of you would make, but here are some facts: Fact: They come from corrupt Greek texts.

Fact: They change verses and omit verses and this changes doctrine.

Fact: They cause confusion and God tells us He is not the author of confusion-

Fact: Almost 400 years ago. the Holy Spirit chose His own sword for the English speaking people of the world and He continues to use this same sword to this day. The Word of God is the sword of the Spirit (Eph. 6:17). Man does not make the choice, God does.

Fact: God said that His words would not pass away (Matt. 24:35). His words are here today, while all of the originals have disappeared.

Fact: Always remember that if 'they' say, "It's not in the originals.", they lie. They', nor you, nor I have ever seen an original, yet God's words have not passed away. They are preserved somewhere. Do you have His words? Some of them? Maybe? All of them? Surely? Hopefully? Definitely? Do you even care if you have His words? Or do you simply choose the words you like the best - the ones that please you? If you really want the words God has preserved for you, I can tell you where they are: they are in the Authorized Version, the King James Bible.

Now - let me be clear on one point: I do not believe that everyone who uses other versions is corrupt but I am saying the modern versions are corrupt. The people using them may be simply blinded or deceived, but some of them know better and are 'deceitful workers'.

In some places the new versions do agree with the words in the King James, but remember that partial truth is not truth. If you read another version as a "commentary", you may be safe; yet you may not be. Always remember: they have not only omitted and changed words, they have omitted and changed doctrines.

"Beware!" is a favorite word in my verbally inspired Bible. "Take heed!" is a favorite phrase of Jesus and His apostles in my verbally inspired Bible. Are you taking heed? Are you being wary?

Amos 7:8 says, "I will set up a plumbline in the midst of my people." What is a plumbline? Do you know? God has a plumbline and if what we build isn't built in line with it, it will not stand His test HE sets the pattern - not us HE also chooses His sword. He chose the Authorized Version for the English speaking world It is written in eighth grade English, it has thousands of sentences made up almost entirely of one or two syllable words and if you cross-reference the words, you will learn sound doctrine and no-one should be able to deceive you with their good words and fair speeches' (Rom. 16:18) YOU can have the very WORDS of God You can hold them in your hand, read them (and understand them if you have the Holy Spirit in you).

"Every minute of every day, you drink from wells you did not dig, are sheltered by builders you will never know, are protected by police and soldiers and neighbors and caretakers whose names are in no record books, are tended by healing hands of every hue and heritage, and are fed and clothed by the labors of countless others" Have you thanked the Lord lately for ail he has given you?

Practical hint: Divide your house into zones and tackle 1 zone each week:

1. Living/Dining 2. Kitchen/Garage 3. Baths/Hail 4. Bedrooms

Lyndell & I ran into a dear friend the other day. Her marriage has been a roller coaster for years and years. She was telling us about one time when she really considered a divorce. She said the Lord put her in remembrance that He hated divorce. She said that settled it for her.

Wow!! What faith! What obedience! What love for Jesus!

Why do we 'go to church? For Christians, our motives are governed by the Word of God. There is but one overriding incentive: God has commanded the saints to assemble, and He has given us His reasons.

Because we are new creatures in Christ, we - on a spiritual level, as well as a moral one - have little in common with the world from which we have been delivered. So we are to exhort and encourage one another in the godly concepts that are in direct opposition to those of the world's society that surrounds us. (Heb.10:19-25)

Peer pressure in our society is intense, not only for the young, but for all of God's people: in school, in business, in recreation, in the media. We are to do that which provokes our fellow believers to love and good works. This world is not a friend of God. Jesus said the world hated Him and would hate us. (John 15-18)

The world has a friendly face. It cares for the elderly, entertains and instructs the youth, even espouses some conservative principles; but it hates Jesus. The world is deceptive; its way is broad and its promises empty. This is why the saints need to assemble frequently and consistently - so that we can exhort, encourage and refresh one another. The saints assemble because the Lord in His wisdom saw the necessity of the members of His body meeting together for spiritual nourishment, protection, comfort and growth. - Dick York

Psalm 119:11 has 14 one-syllable words and one two-syllable word. Hard to understand? I think not!

As people have different reasons for going to church, some professing believers have their own reasons for staying away. This reveals their ignorance of God's Word, alienation from God's family, or a carnal attitude.

We do not fellowship with other believers because they are sinless or always right; we fellowship with them because we are members of the same body. We need each other to keep the blood flowing - providing life.

Is our assembling a production that is more entertaining than edifying? Built around a man, or a program to draw the general public? Shouldn't be! It is a time when the saints exhort one another with a view to build one another up, to help each member put on the whole armor of God, and to withstand the wiles of the devil. (Eph. 6:10-18) (Col. 3:12-16)

There are men in an assembly who rule over it. To rule does not mean to monopolize the ministry or to 'Lord' it over God's heritage, it means to exercise authority when needed, maintain order, weigh actions and statements, correct, admonish, exhort, comfort, and counsel. It means to instruct, to guide and to preside over the ministry being exercised by the members of the body. It is not a position of superiority, but of a calling and a gift. The elders are not charged with all the ministry, but with the oversight. Yet, much of the ministry will be theirs, or else the saints would be deprived of an important gift.

(If you are not currently attending services anywhere -I would like to invite you to come to our services this coming Sunday at 602 Oak Knoll. San Antonio, Texas 78228. We have Bible teaching at 10 a.m. and Bible preaching at 11 a.m. You would be welcome!)

JESUS CHRIST IS THE ONLY SAVIOUR Of THE WORLD, HE DIED FOR YOU.

##  July 2005

For WOMEN ONLY ..from Verlene Kincaid an aged woman

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

In Romans 15:30 there is a phrase that I have been thinking about a lot just recently: "... for the Lord Jesus Christ's sake...".

There were times when God did things simply for Abraham's sake. (Gen.26 24;Ps.105:14)

There were times when God did many things for David's sake. (? Kg. 1:34.819; 206:1 Kg. 11:12-13,34)

There were more times when God did things for His NAME's sake. (Ps. 23;3; 25:11; 31:3; 1068:143:11; 1 Sm. 12:22. Is 48:9; Ezek. 20:9.14.22; 36:22-23)

One of Lyndell's favorite phrases comes from Paul: "Your servant for Jesus' sake." He uses this phrase in most of his letters because if he has become their servant, it is only for the sake of the Lord Jesus Christ.

What exactly does it mean to do something for someone else's sake?

One day, after a 3' rainfall, Lyndell and I got dressed to go to town. We drove to the creek and water was running over the bridge. I was scared to cross for many reasons: my own personal experience of getting caught in a flash flood at that very same creek; getting caught on the other side of the creek and not being able to get home; a flood called the hundred year flood where we couldn't get out for three days; another flood called the 500 year flood where we couldn't go anywhere for seven days. All of these experiences caused me to seriously not want to cross that bridge that day, as it was still raining. Lyndell was VERY exasperated with me, but for my sake, he turned around and brought me home. He didn't do what he preferred doing, what he easily could have done, and what he had every right to do - simply because he chose to please me instead of himself

THAT is doing something for another's sake.

WE should do many things:

  1. For the Sake of the LOST: Mt 18:11; Lk. 19:10; Jn 3:17; Rom. 10:1:11:14; 1 Cor. 9:22; 10:33

  2. For the sake of the CHURCH.

  3. For the sake of our CHILDREN.

  4. For the sake of our PARENTS and other relatives.

  5. For the sake of our HUSBAND.

  6. For the sake of Jesus' NAME: Mt 19:29, Acts 9163 Jn. 7; Rev. 2:3

  7. Simply for the sake of JESUS: Ml.1039; 1625, Mk 8-35, Rom 15.30; 1 Cor 4:10; 2 Cor; 4:5,11. 1 Pet. 2:13

Do you do what you do for Jesus' sake? When you submit to your husband - do it for the sake of the Lord Jesus Christ; in that way, it won't be selfish or withdrawn when you're mad at your husband. It WILL (of course) result in blessing YOU and also blessing your husband, but JESUS will he pleased and satisfied because it was done for HIM. Jesus pays very close attention to our motives and attitudes • not just our actions.

What have you done today, or this week, or this month, or even this year for the sake of the LOST? I could write a very long list on what you could and should be doing for their sake.

What have you done recently for the sake of the CHURCH? You can do spiritual things (i.e. prayer) for your church family, or you can do material things (i.e. volunteer for the nursery). Here again, we can make a long list of things you could and should be doing for the church. (For those of you who attend with us at 602 Oak Knoll, there is a Bible study out in the halfway on this subject)

What are you doing every day for the sake of your CHILDREN? Have you learned what the SCRIPTURE says your children need and deserve from you? For the CHILDREN'S sake are you training and disciplining them? Most of us are like Hebrews 12 says we are: we do it for OUR sake. But that chapter says that when God chastens He does it for OUR profit. He chastens for our sakes, not His. Therefore whatever you give, whatever you take away, whatever rules you make - do it for your CHILDREN'S sakes, not for your own pleasure. What we do MUST be done for THEIR good - for their sakes. to bring peaceable fruit of righteousness into their lives. Heb. 12:1-11

What have you done lately for the sake of your parents, your siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, etc.? Do you even stop to think of THEIR good? Are you willing to spend time to do things for them? Get busy and do something for their sake.

THEN - YOUR HUSBAND: Do you EVER do anything simply for his sake? Do you ever put yourself out to do something you know would please him? Satisfy him? Honor him? Help him? Encourage him? Will you start doing these things - WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED?

Now let us consider the very opposite of this. There are thousands of things we should be DOING for other's sake. But there are ALSO a good number of things we SHOULD NOT BE DOING, simply for the sake of others. This is one of those very important teachings of the New Testament. We are to consider OTHERS - more than we consider our own needs, desires or liberties. If you haven't started practicing this principle, you haven't really started living, at least not excitingly.

Personal: Our kids gave us a 50th anniversary trip in May. They gave us our choice, and we picked the Sequoias. We had never taken a vacation where we simply went someplace and stayed for a week, to slowly visit what was there. This time we did exactly that, and the icing on the cake was an unseasonal snow storm, allowing us to see those huge trees in a winter wonderland situation.

Beautiful! We took our chairs and just sat around looking at them. The General Sherman tree is the largest living thing on earth while the General Grant tree is the third largest, with the largest trunk girth on earth. We had seen them before, but this trip we had the time to enjoy them. God's creation is too wonderful for words.

While we were in California, Lyndell's sister went home to be with the Lord. She is now kicking up her heels on streets of gold and singing praises to Jesus. Her funeral was scheduled immediately after our return but it was impossible to be too sad when we knew the body we were burying would rise again and our dear sister was already living in the joy of the Lord - with none of the pain she had been suffering. Surely, she will be missed - but SHE'S not missing anything. The next week, we headed for Florida to be with our granddaughter Charlyn at her graduation. When we made it back to our home, we were pleasantly & seriously tired. We're starting to feel like the aged' people we are.

Books I recommend: Toughlove by Phyllis & David York. Mainly for parents with troubled teens, but some really good thoughts for all parents Family: The Real Measure of Success by Tim & Beverly Lahaye.

QUESTION: One of my kids complains a lot about stomach-aches and head-aches, wanting to stay home from school How can I tell if he's really sick or just faking?

ANSWER: It is almost impossible - unless they are vomiting or have a fever. Talk to them about possible problems - they may have real problems with a bully or a teacher, etc My policy was to be absolutely sure that staying home from school meant staying in bed with no TV. no games no toys, etc Stay in bed and rest - so you'll get well. If they're really sick, they'll not mind. If not, they'll stop faking it pretty quick.

If they are having problems, you will have to help them deal with them. Let them know that you are there for them in whatever problems they face and in whatever else they need. I taught my kids that teachers are human and in need of our patience; that a teacher's child may be critically ill, or her marriage in a mess, etc. In the case of a bully, they may need our interference or our permission to fight back if necessary Zero Tolerance should not protect bullies.

QUESTION: What should I do when my child screams "I hate you" whenever he disagrees with me or my rules?

ANSWER: Of course this will always hurt you when he does this, but it is completely normal. When kids get angry, that emotion takes control of their thinking. They want to hurt you. or they want you to change your mind. They also sometimes enjoy getting you upset, as that makes them feel in control.

You must never let his anger or outbursts control your decisions. Don't scream back at him. Calmly tell him that you don't hate him and you certainly hope he doesn't really hate you. Tell him that hating someone is wrong. Tell him that you dearly love him and only make rules that are good for him and good for the family as a whole. Then make SURE he obeys.

Children are early learners. A six month old baby quickly learns how to train his parents. Do your children have you jumping through hoops? Better do something about it now, while you can.

The decisions you make and the actions you take affect everyone who knows you, everyone around you, and ESPECIALLY those who love you. You do not do ANYTHING that does not affect someone else. Whatever things you do either hurt or harm or help others. Think on these things.

Although conviction of sin brings an uncomfortable feeling of shame and guilt, when followed by true repentance. It will lead to great rejoicing.

IN A GOOD PLACE, FOR A GOOD PURPOSE,

I WOULD HIDE GOD'S WORD IN MY HEART:

THAT I MIGHT NOT SIN, BUT THE VICTORY WIN,

I WOULD HIDE GOD'S WORD IN MY HEART.

A pastor who is giving counsel, cannot help anyone who is not acting in good faith.

MUTUAL SUPPORT AND SHARED RESPONSIBILITY ARE FUNDAMENTAL TO HAVING A GREAT CHURCH FAMILY.

##  September 2005

For WOMEN ONLY ..from Verlene Kincaid an aged woman

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

In Psalm 31:13-16 there is a phrase: "...I have heard the slander of many...' In Proverbs 10:18 it says: "...he that uttereth slander, is a fool."

SLANDER!! Have you ever been slandered? It is an insidious sin. Gossip is awful and slander is abominable. There is no defense against it because it is never to your face.

My husband has been slandered so many times that we feel we should just ignore it when we hear what has been said. I mean he has really been slandered!!

He expects it, but not always does he expect it from the people who do it. That can really be a surprise.

Even I have been slandered. And I am such a blah kind of person, how could that ever happen? Of course the slander against me (that my children were not my husband's) was meant to hurt my husband. Well, at that time we also decided to simply ignore their vileness, and went on with our lives - enjoying our marriage and our children.

Most slander against my husband would be funny if it wasn't so sad. It's sad because there are always a few people who believe the slander and they are forever hurt.

Why don't people simply go to him and ask him if he has ever or would ever do such & such a thing? Why don't they go to him in private and say, "We've been told this and that. Is there any grain of truth in it? What are the facts?"

When it comes to slanderous and wicked talk, the Bible is very clear: We will be judged for these things. I do not know how, or when or where - but we will be judged (and chastised, if we are Christians). If someone gossips to you about anyone - don't partake in it - the chances are very likely that it is slander.

Do you like it when people say all manner of evil against you falser/? Do you enjoy being slandered? Trust me - neither does anyone else. Be sure YOU don't bear false witness. God says it is a no-no! A 'thou shalt not'. Have you done it? Consider whom you have hurt by your ugly disobedience. God hates it. We should also.

God is love. His commandment to us is to love one another. Slander is certainly NOT love. In fact it is just the opposite. People slander someone because they want to hurt them. Well, that is certainly one result. But they also hurt themselves and all Christians everywhere. They hurt the name of Jesus.

If you slander me - you slander my Jesus, because I am His. If you slander my husband, you slander me because he is mine. I have found my husband to be honorable in his dealings and wise in his counsel. I hope you won't believe things without having proof, facts, witnesses. Give all people the benefit of the doubt until you KNOW something is true.

And even when you know it to be true, don't tell it to anyone else unless it is absolutely necessary (there are times when it IS necessary to tell what you know to be truth). And also remember - when anyone asks you to forgive their sin of slander - forgive them with open arms. If you have partaken in the sin of slander, ask for forgiveness. This is God's plan. This is love. This is concern for the name of your Lord. Slander is sin - but it is not the unpardonable one! Although God really does hate it.

Read also: Psalm 50:20; 101:5; 2 Sam. 19:27; Jer. 6:28; Rom. 3:8; 1 Tm. 3:11; and Jer. 9:1-9)

Personal: This summer has been a busy one. On top of our annual family reunion, my oldest grandson David - who legally married Christa Niemoller (by way of telephone) before he went to Iraq - had a Christian wedding ceremony. Then, our daughter Dahra eloped with Tim Fitzharris - a man she has known for over 20 years. Next, our daughter Suzanna gave birth to our 14n living grandbaby. He's a handsome one and they named him Jamin Thomas Kincaid Ochoa.

Hint for your kids: Backyard bowling fun. Fill 10 plastic 16 oz. soda bottles with dirt or sand. Line them up and bowl with a large rubber ball to see who can knock over the most 'pins'.

Another hint; Swap children now and then with a friend; keep a log of hours or days to avoid resentment and to be sure to never take advantage of them (or be taken advantage of by them). My best friend and I traded off a whole week each summer. She took my three kids for one week and I took her three kids another week. It was fun for all the kids and a great chance for the 'couple' to spend time together without the children. It really WORKED for us! Even if you only do it one night every now and then - it will be good for everyone concerned. - VK

Four Things To Do Every Day:

I. Something for GOD.

II. Something for my immediate FAMILY.

III. A CHORE not liked.

IV. Something for MYSELF.

This is something I wrote down in my'daybook1 a long time ago. If we would follow this plan, we'd get a lot done that needs to get done, we'd bless and encourage others, and we'd be a lot happier and less grumpy. Have a PLAN. You'll be surprised how much more you can get done.

Research demonstrates that when parents expect their children to be abstinent they are more likely to abstain from sex (and other things), studies also show that when boundary lines become fuzzy or mixed messages are conveyed (like handing out condoms while telling them to just say no) they are confused about what is right and wrong. - Jim Mavers

Question: How can you make yourself love someone?

Answer: Love is a command. God commands us to love Him, our neighbor, our husband, our children. His children, and (lo and behold), even our enemies. Love is an act of the will. You choose to love. God expects you to make that choice. You can be helped in doing so:

1. By not building up resentments against them.

2. By not looking for their faults.

3. By trying to see and emphasize the good things about them.

As parents, we cannot always change the behavior of our kids, especially when they are adults! Also, we cannot let the sin of one child ruin the entire family. When our grown children make bad choices we have no control and no responsibility - except to tell them that their choices are devastating to us and to them and although we'll forever love them, we cannot accept the lifestyle they have chosen.

A woman with small children needs to set aside 30 minutes at mid-morning just to sit down with her feet up, sipping at some kind of nourishment like orange juice or milk. Sit in the backyard in summer, where you can supervise the children or by a window with a view of them in the winter. In the afternoon, she needs to lie down. Being rested is as vital as breathing. Make the time for it.

You're only young once, but you can be immature all your life. God says: "Grow up!"

What you are as a parent - your integrity, your character will make a memory your child will never forget

"I have given up an office that I loved, work in which I was deeply interested and a staff of which any man might be proud. I have given up the privilege of working with a leader whom I still regard with the deepest admiration and affection. I have ruined my career. But that is little matter. I have retained something which is to me of greater value - my integrity. Duff Cooper in 1938

In marriage counseling, I ask couples to commit for two months never to ask to have their own needs met, but seek to meet the others needs. During that time, each has given to the other without being asked, and their own needs have been met simply by receiving, not demanding.

\- Michael Wilkins

If you have nothing to give the Lord, a lifestyle change is in order. Live every day like it's your last, 'cause one day you're gonna be right!

#  2006

## March 2006

For WOMEN ONLY ..from Verlene Kincaid an aged woman

Titus 2:3-5: "The aged women...be...teachers of good things:...teach the young women....."

I was recently asked by someone from another church, for a copy of my women's Bible study (that I used to teach here at the church). This made me realize that it had been quite awhile since I had taught it, and so I thought Td include parts of it in my newsletters this year. If you've been to those studies, this will be a refresher for you - and for those of you have never been, I hope it is a blessing as you study it out, I know that a lot of you will not take the time to read all of the scriptures listed, but I highly recommend that you do so.

BIBLE STUDY FOR WOMEN - by Verlene Kincaid

MEMORY VERSE FOR THIS STUDY: "Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." (Prov. 14:1)

A wise woman TRUSTS GOD'S WAY and builds her house according to HIS WORD. Following God's plan for a woman is a STEP OF FAITH. When you were SAVED you realized IN YOUR HEART that YOUR way was wrong and was going to reap bad results and that GOD'S WAY was RIGHT. You repented of your sins, called on Jesus and submitted to GOD'S WAY.

LIVING BY FAITH after you are saved is simply realizing IN YOUR HEART that YOUR way is wrong and if you go that way YOU WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW AND THE RESULTS WILL BE BAD, but if you go GOD'S WAY you will also reap what you sow and the results will be GOOD. You decide to submit to God's way. WISDOM is finding God's way and doing it God's way. (Prov. 3:5) You decide that God knows more than you do, more than the psychiatrists, counselors, educators, etc. and therefore HIS WAY will be YOUR WAY.

MANY LOST WOMEN have made good wives and mothers because they (perhaps unknowingly) practiced what GOD TAUGHT. They understood that "It is better to dwell in the corner, than with a brawling woman in a wide house" (Pr. 21:9); and that "a meek and quiet spirit" would be good to have, even if they didn't know that this was highly valued by God (1 Pt 3:4).

SUBMISSION is the key subject of this study. FIRST, submission to GOD AND HIS WORD and SECOND, submission to your husband.

SUBMISSION - THE HATED WORD.

I. Almost all Christians have a CONTROVERSY WITH GOD over this word. (And as long as you do, you will not be blessed.) MOST Christians have NEVER submitted to THE LORDSHIP of Jesus. They have never bowed their hearts and said, YES LORD, YOU ARE MY ABSOLUTE LORD AND AUTHORITY. I will, with your help, try to please you IN EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE Most Christians have NEVER submitted to the AUTHORITY of THE WORD OF GOD over ALL OTHER AUTHORITY. They have NEVER said. "I will follow what THE SCRIPTURES teach, NO MATTER WHERE it leads me, or NO MATTER WHAT it costs me."

II. These two decisions are PRIMARY. Once they have been settled permanently in the mind and heart of a believer, the rest will follow, although NOT ALWAYS EASILY OR EVEN JOYFULLY.

  1. THE CHURCH: Must SUBMIT to its head - the LORD JESUS We as a local body of believers MUST allow Jesus & His Word to control EVERYTHING we do (Eph. 5:24, 1 Pt. 1:14).

  2. INDIVIDUAL BELIEVERS IN THE CHURCH: are commanded to SUBMIT to their ELDERS. God is a God of authority and government. He gives pastors to a congregation for their good, and He says that they should SUBMIT to these elders. IF an elder meets GOD'S QUALIFICATIONS & PREACHES GOD'S WORD FAITHFULLY - you are expected by God to SUBMIT to him, to OBEY him and to SUPPORT him financially (Heb. 13; 2 Cor. 2:9).

  3. THE ELDERS: (Men of God, ordained BY GOD to be in authority over the congregation) are commanded to SUBMIT to Jesus and His Word; and to SUBMIT to one another. They must not get caught up in seeking vain glory, honor of men, preeminence, prestige, jealousies, envyings, covetousness, nor even in the idea of "being Lords over God's Flock" (1 Pt. 5:1-11).

  4. ALL THE CHURCH: is commanded to SUBMIT to one another (Eph. 5:21; 1 Pt. 5:5, etc.). We are not out to GET OUR WAY - we should try to please others and to edify others.

  5. MEN: are to SUBMIT to their HEAD - JESUS (1 Cor. 11) and are to SUBMIT to GOVERNMENTS - those in authority (Rm. 13:1, etc.).

  6. WOMEN: are to SUBMIT to their head - THEIR HUSBANDS (1 Cor. 11, Eph. 5:22; etc.)

  7. CHILDREN: are to SUBMIT to their parents (Col. 3:20).

  8. SERVANTS/EMPLOYEES: are to SUBMIT to their masters/employers (1 Pt. 2:18; Col. 3:22; Eph. 6:5-8)

III. THE ONLY POINT OF DEPARTURE FROM THIS SUBMISSION is when by doing so would CAUSE YOU to disobey God. If an elder tells you to do something CONTRARY TO THE WORD OF GOD, you should NOT do so_ If a church follows false doctrine - you should leave. If a husband tells a wife to SIN (steal, lie, commit fornication, not assemble with believers, etc.) she should NOT do so. If a government tells you to disobey or to not follow God's Word, you must NOT SUBMIT to the government in THAT AREA. GOD AND HIS WORD ARE ABOVE ALL OTHER AUTHORITY AND YOUR SUBMISSION IS TO THEM FIRST and to others next (Acts 5:29).

(examples: Daniel, Shadrach. Meshech, Abednego, Peter, Apostles, Paul, etc.) My mother taught me this proverb: "You don't have to do ANYTHING but die." The point being that you don't have to obey when it goes against God's word, although you may have to pay with your life when you don't. (Read Foxe's "Book of Martyrs", Daniel Acts, Revelation, etc.)

(To be continued in my next newsletter.)

Parents must sanctify themselves. This does not refer to holiness, but to separation. This means that though they may be free to do many things, for the sake of their children, they will not. There are many words and many conversations they will not utter because of their children. A person without children, only hurts himself (or his wife) by his lack of self-control, but one who has children destroys his children as well as himself. For the rest of your life you will have two or four or more pairs of eyes watching and watching. Those eyes will continue to remember what they have seen.

Seven ways to keep your marriage happy:

  1. Remember to always wish the best for the other.

  2. Kiss each other in elevators, hold hands when walking, give each other compliments daily.

  3. Never speak ill of his family or friends.

  4. Listen. Apologize when wrong; stay Quiet when right.

  5. Never embarrass or correct one another in public; and try not to in private either.

  6. Don't yell unless the house is on fire; argue in whispers.

  7. On days when you don't like him, remember you do love him.

We should hold everything we have very loosely. God can pluck anything out of our life at any time He chooses - it is all on temporary loan. Give it up today and if it's gone next year or ten years from now, you wont be surprised because you had already given it away anyway.

You can train your children to be independent and tough, or to be a crybaby and a whiner Which kind of adult are you?

The question a good mom always asks is, "What is best for my child?", and not "What is convenient for me?"

LADIES: Don't forget our mission conference - April 9-16th. We hope you will plan on coming every night and bring visitors with you. We will be having dinner on the grounds both Sundays, but we will be needing your help to feed the missionaries during the week. Anyone who has a willing heart, we sure could use you. We will put sign-up sheets out in the hall.

The single woman should never live in some dingy room; she needs through her lifetime a comfortable charming haven. - Dr. Marian Hillard

The older woman's contribution to the church is her experience, not her vigor.

Christians are expected to live a lifestyle of sacrifice, selflessness & service.

There may be only a few ways to save $1000, but there are thousands of ways to save a dollar.

God understands the language of tears.

Trouble is not a sign of inadequacy, stupidity, or inferiority - but rather an inescapable part of life.

