

### MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER

My Best Friend's Brother, Book 1

by Chrissy Favreau

My Best Friend's Brother

Copyright © 2015 by Chrissy Favreau

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For permission, address the publisher at MyBestFriendsBrother.com

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Cover design by Favreau - FavreauStudio.com

Ebook formatting - ebooklaunch.com

Next in this series:

BOOK OF LUKE

MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER, Book 2

FINDING TROY

MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER, Book 3

MAKING UP BLAKE

MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER, Book 4

YEAR OF LUKE

MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER, Book 5

SAVING GINO

MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER, Book 6

For updates on new books, including new books in this series, visit:

www.ChrissyFavreau.com

### CONTENT WARNING

This book contains non-graphic sexual content and some strong language.

Contents

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII

Chapter VIII

Chapter IX

Chapter X

Chapter XI

Chapter XII

Chapter XIII

Chapter XIV

Chapter XV

Chapter XVI

Chapter XVII

Chapter XVIII

Chapter XIX

# I

My guidance counselor sat with his feet on the desk, rocking in his leather office chair, looking through a _Sports Illustrated_ while sucking on a lollipop.

I cleared my throat to make myself known. He jumped from his seat and flashed me a smile.

"Miss Morrison!" he said, gesturing to enter.

Henry Bias is a man of medium height who bears a striking resemblance to actor Cuba Gooding, Jr. Think _Snow Dogs. Outbreak. Pearl Harbor._ He sounds just like him, too.

He sat again as I parked myself in the blue interrogation seat. He shoved the _Sports Illustrated_ into his desk drawer. "Some boy left that here," he totally lied. He straightened his tie. "And how are you today?"

"I could be better."

His office makes me a bit claustrophobic. It's almost entirely occupied by his enormous desk, some posters and his master's degree. One poster on the wall above his head read,

"Psychology: know everything about everyone."

That explains a lot.

"Good, good," he said, pulling out my file. "Now, Adonia, you're here because you want to talk."

"I'm here because _you_ want to talk," I noted.

He looked at me with his permanent grin. "Right, right..." he said between his teeth. He took a deep breath and said, "Okay! How's the boyfriend doing?"

"We broke up a month ago," I reminded him.

"Oh," he said sympathetically. "Do you want to talk about that?"

"No."

"It's good to talk about things that bother us!" he said enthusiastically.

"It doesn't bother me." Jake-the-horny-toad Andrews was the last thing I wanted to discuss with him.

"Do you want to talk about anything that _does_ bother you?" he asked, blindly turning pages in my file.

"Nope."

"How's Lilly? Your best friend? That's her name, isn't it?"

Figures he wasn't sure. Half the time I talk to him he's in another dimension, staring above my head with that grin. "She's going on vacation."

"That's nice."

I shifted in my seat. "I'm kind of jealous."

"Oh. So you want to talk about that?"

I shrugged. "I don't _want_ to...."

He looked above my head and nodded, stroking his chin with his thumb and index finger. "Good, good. Go right ahead, I'm listening."

My head fell into my hands. The next time I looked up he still smiled at the wall behind me; at a poster of two hula dancers on a Hawaiian beach.

Why couldn't he schedule his stupid appointments during math? I'd rather be confused by Mr. Bias than be confused by math.

"So you don't want to talk?" he pressed once his vacation was over. "It's confidential!" he exclaimed, grinning ear-to-ear.

I heaved a sigh. "My mom's never home. Lilly's mom is more of a mom to me than mine ever was. What does that tell you?" I pondered.

He held his chin and looked up thoughtfully. "That Lilly's mom is a housewife and your mom isn't?"

_This guy's got the most_ useless _job on the face of the earth!_

He held up a finger and searched frantically through my file. "She _is_ a housewife, right?" He laughed nervously. "Well anyway, your mom's career is clearly very high priority. She's just doing the best she can. Have you considered your career path?"

"Yes... And it makes my head hurt."

"Good, good. That's what I like to hear." He scratched his head and thumped the eraser side of a pencil on his desk. "So, which university did you apply to?"

"I applied to the one in British Columbia."

"Sick of Alaska?"

"It's not that. I just want to get away from home." _Far, far away._

Mr. Bias nodded. "Well, I moved up here for work," he said, "and I can't afford to leave!" His smile evaporated for a second as he stared, teary-eyed, into oblivion.

When he was back, his smile returned. "Any others?"

"No." How many colleges do I need to get into, anyway? In the end, I can only attend one.

He laced his fingers and rested his hands on the desk. "How do your parents feel about that school?"

"I don't know." And I wanted to add, "I don't care."

"How do you think they feel about that school?"

My expression was blank.

"Well, let me rephrase that. How do you feel about how _they_ might feel?" he asked with little hand gestures.

"I don't know," I repeated.

"Do you want to talk about it? This is a very confusing time for you, no question about that!"

I rolled my eyes. It's funny how he thought _he_ had to tell _me_ that this was a 'very confusing time' for me.

"Well then, I'll see you next week! Unless you have other things you'd like to discuss today...?" He raised his eyebrows skeptically.

"No thanks," I said, about to bolt out of there.

"Good, good. Feel free to come by any time you'd like to talk. I'm here to help!"

I left.

My parents, college, Jake, decision-making—everything I didn't want to talk about, he brought up.

He even defended my poor excuse for a mother!

_God, what's that man_ paid _for?_

~~~

"You have a twin brother?!" I shrieked by Lilly Jacobson's locker. As her best friend, you'd think I'd have been informed.

Like, years ago!

"He's flying in tomorrow. If you want, you can come pick him up with me!" She held her hand out. "I am hereby officially canceling skate night!"

Then—like she didn't just say something serious—Lilly multi-tasked gathering her books and breaking some poor jock's heart. She shooed him away like a fly.

It really is too bad—the guys at our school aren't much to look at, and he was one of the better looking ones.

"You have a twin brother?!" I echoed in utter shock.

I had no clue what was going on, why she didn't think that jock was hot, or why this brother was not important enough to mention before, but I expected an explanation.

Immediately!

Jock-free, she moved her long, flowing blond hair out of her face and searched her locker. Guys gazed as they passed by, because, well, she's hot.

The yellow hallway was jamming with noisy, pushy people headed for third period. The halls were clogged.

She slammed her locker door, dug her strawberry nails into my arm, and we plunged into the roaring crowd. "Yeah, I have a brother! I haven't seen him in two years! Our parents divorced when we were three and he mostly lived with my dad in the lower forty-eight! Mom and I lived in Germany for eight years and then she married _Burke Jacobson,_ " she said with a sneer, "—and they moved me here!"

Lilly wore hip hugger jeans and a form-fitting pink tee shirt that titled her "Pink Princess" in glittery letters. She's five-two, with aquamarine eyes and semi-wavy blond hair down past her thighs. Moreover, she has a light German accent and guys drooling over her twenty-four-seven.

I, on the other hand, never have to beat guys off, because I'm ordinary. I wear contacts because I'm legally blind, I'm five-one, have long brown hair, and an embarrassing habit of thinking with my mouth. Seriously, I blurt the _stupidest crap,_ usually under stress.

God, could you imagine me at a job interview?

In math class, I sat next to Lilly. I pushed her pink book bag to her side of the desk, secretly wondering how much this twin brother that popped out of nowhere would affect our lives.

"Oh, by the way," she added, "Mom and I prolonged our vacation to Miami Beach. We're going for three weeks, not one!"

"Three weeks!" I groaned. As if canceling skate night for a brother I never knew existed wasn't bad enough!

"Yeah," she said cheerfully, like it wasn't a big deal. "So, do you wanna pick him up from the airport with me?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. You'd think she would've at least mentioned him after she last saw him two years ago!

"What's wrong?"

I thought _what's wrong_ should be obvious. But I mumbled, "I have a headache."

She pulled out a sample packet of Aspirin. It was all crumpled, like it lived in her book bag since junior high. Was she even allowed to have those in school? "Here. You need it more than I do."

The final bell sounded. A lanky substitute walked in holding a six-inch-thick block of papers. He started handing packets out as he took attendance. When he called Lilly, she hurried to get hers.

"Oh, look," she breathed. "A hundred math problems!" She grabbed the Aspirin sample off my desk. "Gimme that."

# II

We got to the airport at nine o' clock. Lilly stressed about how we were late, and what she was supposed to wear when she gets on her plane to Florida. I wish I had _that_ problem!

There were people everywhere. Seriously, it looked like the entire state of Alaska was packed into the airport. I lagged behind, irritated at the poking elbows and all the _Excuse me_ -s and _Sorry_ -s.

"You okay?" Lilly's pace slowed. She grabbed my sleeve as if I were going to get away.

"I'm great," I grumbled, barely even believing myself. Who was I kidding? I had to be home by ten, my best friend will be too busy for me when she and her mom leave on vacation, and I'm single.

"You know," Lilly said, "you don't have to lie."

I sighed. She reads me like a book.

At the terminal, we sat in silence for a while.

"Still excited about being a senior?" Lilly asked.

I sighed. "Kinda." On the down side, I have way too much to do before graduation. On the up side, I have to cope with my parents for only seven more months.

"I'm counting the days! I am so moving to the beach when I'm done!"

I'd move with her, but Lilly didn't apply to any colleges. And as far as _living_ goes, I don't mind the cold climates.

A large group passed through the doors of the terminal, but she didn't get up to meet any of them. She was focused on the screen that displayed the flight information. His plane was late.

I spent nearly an hour waiting for a guy I'd never even seen a picture of, wondering every time I saw a "blond guy"—as he was so vividly described—if it's him. But how hard can he be to spot, right? He's her _twin_ , he'll look like _her._

"I can't _wait_ to go on this vacation! Me, Mom, my aunt, my mall-loving cousins and Miami Beach!" She chattered endlessly, which is why she's dubbed Chatterbox Lilly.

And, as often happens, I phased out.

_I wish Mom took me on a three week "educational" vacation and kept_ me _out of school!_ But I barely see my mom. She's a cultural anthropologist—she travels all the time. So I'm stuck home with Dad, a novelist. He spends all day in his office and gives me the be-home-by-ten-each-night lecture every morning.

Speaking of which, I figured I really should go. Her brother's plane was even later than we were, and I couldn't wait any longer.

I sighed uncomfortably, just as she laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"You know, I don't even know what to say to him! We're not even that close! It's weird."

"Recap. Why is he moving in with you all of the sudden?" _And why was I not informed he_ exists _before he had to?_

She popped a bubble noisily. "He said he needs a change of scenery! Personally, my idea of _change of scenery_ is someplace where I can't freeze to death getting from the front door to the car!"

"Well, Alaska attracts a lot of people."

"I guess," she said. "It's just weird how he's giving up life with our real dad to live with a stepdad."

"Oh." And I immediately added—before her mouth could start moving again— "It's almost ten. I really have to go, or my dad's gonna freak."

"Okay. I'd like to drive you, but I have to wait until the plane lands."

"Don't worry, I'll catch a cab. Tell him I said _hi_ , okay? We'll get together before you and your mom leave, right?"

"Of course we will! I'll call you." We hugged briefly and she waved.

I walked through the shrinking crowd, out the revolving doors.

I may live in Alaska, but I _don't_ live in an igloo, I _don't_ ice-fish in my living room, and my father _doesn't_ hunt polar bears for dinner! In fact, the only thing my father hunts for is words in the thesaurus.

I hopped into one of the dozen cabs outside. "1313 Massacre Lane, please." Yes, I live on _Massacre_ Lane. I'm not sure what my parents were thinking. No wonder Mom's never home, I'll bet even she doesn't want to live here!

The only good thing about our house is that we have one.

Although I haven't decided on much else, I _have_ decided that I need to move out. The sooner the better!

I gave the cabbie thirty dollars once we reached my house. It's a simple house on a three-acre lot in the suburbs. There are eight homes on my block and mine is halfway down the street. The others are spread out from corner to corner.

There's a fourteen-year-old pervert living next door. One inky night, he tried to get a peek at me undressing in my bedroom. He was on our lawn with binoculars. Dad caught him and dragged him home, furious.

We have more than just perverts next door—we also have hermits. Our other neighbors rarely leave their homes. When they do, they dart to their cars, pissed off. Though maybe I only look when it's fifty-below, they have snot frozen to their noses and their cars won't start. Oddly enough, they still choose to live here.

Our neighbors on Salvation Drive moved here one summer from southern Arizona. Rumor has it they always wanted to see snow, and an acquaintance down south convinced them that the winters are _mild_. Never mind they were talking about _southeastern_ Alaska, certainly not the interior!

Our house stands out on our street because it's a gray and black A-frame, which, in my opinion, just makes it look miserable. Not that the other homes look any more cheerful—in the winter, my street makes me feel like I'm passing through the funerary industry.

Behind the navy front door was my father, seated on the black leather couch, pocket watch in hand. Yes, he really is _that_ ridiculous! And on nights I'm on a date, he makes a habit of being even more ridiculous, if you can imagine that!

"You made it," he exclaimed, "and you're two minutes early!"

I groaned. "Hi, Dad." I joined him on the couch.

Dad is a relatively short man, about five-foot-six, with spiky hair and a thin, serious face. He's a bit of a hermit, too, indoors writing all day. He writes for work and he writes for fun. And tonight, despite my presence, he stared at his pocket watch still, scratching his chin with his index finger.

"I'm home, Dad," I announced, rolling my eyes.

"Yes," he agreed, "and Sullivan has another fifteen minutes until _his_ curfew. He's out with friends."

"He has _friends_?!" I gaped.

Dad shot me a disapproving look.

I silently pondered why my twelve-year-old brother has more free time than I do. Of course, I didn't ask. Dad grows annoyed when we suspect any sort of favoritism.

After being ignored for a few minutes, I hurried to my room. Just like Lilly's hooked on pink, I'm hooked on turquoise. It's even the color of my plush carpet. Whereas Lilly's bedroom walls are pink, mine are still white. At least, in a few places—my walls are plastered in puppies, kittens, boy bands and movie posters. And everything smells like cotton candy from the body spray I use.

I plopped myself on my bed. I'm glad it's a Friday night and I have all weekend to work on math problems, because if my grades in that stupid class drop any lower, I'm going to be in some serious trouble.

Ideally I would spend all of Saturday at the mall, and all of Sunday with Lilly. That is, if she isn't too busy catching up on things with her _brother._

I pondered his name again, and it killed me. I'm pretty sure it's either Thomas or Markus. _Or something like that._

I shifted to my stomach across my blue comforter, holding my head, gazing at my walls in frustration. I couldn't recall his name for the life of me. Eventually, I gave up. It's not like Lilly would quiz me. I'd just not talk about him until she mentions his name. Then I wouldn't seem rude or like I didn't pay attention to her. So my mind wanders—so what?

I got to thinking about Jake, and what a jerk he turned out to be. I wanted someone nice. Someone who's not pushy. Tragically, there's a pretty crappy selection at my school.

I felt myself sigh as I dozed off, forgetting about math. At least I could _dream_ about the perfect guy.

# III

Saturday was wasted on algebra. Twenty-four hours of my life wasted solving for _x_. It makes me sick.

Sunday, unreasonably loud pounding awoke me.

"Dad wants you downstairs!" Sullivan screamed obnoxiously as his fists hit my door. Music blasted from his headphones—that damn iPod's going to make him deaf! "He says hurry up!"

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. I hadn't removed my contacts before falling asleep—now my eyes were red and itchy. "Okay, Sullivan!" I barked.

A scrumptious mushroom-and-cheese omelet aroma crept in from under my door.

In my personal bathroom, I poked around my eyes impatiently, pulled out my contacts, soaked them briefly and put them back on. I put on a pair of hip hugger jeans and a blue shirt and ran a brush through my hair.

Dad was at the kitchen table, sipping his coffee and flipping through his beloved _Writer's Digest_.

"Good morning," he said, without looking at me.

"Morning, Dad." I fell into my seat and practically inhaled the golden brown omelet, plump with melted cheddar and overflowing with mushrooms. "I'm going to the mall today," I announced, silently hoping he'd let me. Sometimes Dad's just in a stay-at-home kind of mood, but today he seemed passive. I think I've earned it, spending all of Saturday doing homework.

He chewed his food, his eyes glued to the magazine. "Sure, sweetie," he mumbled.

I smiled and finished my breakfast.

"Don't you have _homework_ , Adonia?" Sullivan mocked in Dad's direction.

I rolled my eyes.

Sullivan has brown hair that hangs halfway down his neck, which he parts down the middle and tucks behind his ears. His eyes are hazel and his mouth is too big for his face—no surprise! He teases me about everything, and even became friends with Jake after the break up. The little pest invited him over to play video games and kept me cornered in my room.

I shot him a look. Luckily, Dad hadn't even looked up.

"Jake's coming by today," Sullivan informed me, looking for a reaction.

"So? I'll be at the mall all day." I took a sip of orange juice. "You know, I can hear your music all the way over here," I said loudly, hoping Dad would lecture him again. But Dad still didn't look up, and Sullivan pointed at me and laughed noiselessly.

"What do you two want for dinner?" Dad asked lamely, still reading.

Sullivan slammed his fists on the table. "Lasagna!"

Dad looked bewildered. "Lasagna? For the third time this week?"

I shook my head and rinsed off my plate.

"Be back by nine," Dad said. I turned and looked at him. "It's a school night!" he briefed. Then he buried his head back in his magazine.

I sighed, walked to the front door and put on my sneakers.

"And keep that cell phone on!" he insisted from the kitchen.

I stepped into the chilly Alaskan air, headed for Mom's silver Jeep Grand Cherokee. She lets me drive it while she's away. She's in Australia until late November, doing research on the Aborigines.

I cranked the engine and sat waiting in my seat. The car reeked of vanilla. I adjusted the automatic leather seat and carefully backed out of the long driveway. It was overcast out, like it's going to snow. I'm not a fan of driving in snow, but it's better than not driving at all. I haven't crashed a car _yet_ , and I've been driving since sixteen.

For a Sunday, the mall was pretty dead. It's not a huge mall by any means. It has a pet store, a book store, a food court, a couple clothing stores, a Halloween shop, a music store, a movie theater, and an arcade. If you have lots of interests, you can spend a good day there. I'm particularly fond of the book and pet stores, though I couldn't buy any pets there anyway, because pets are big no-no's with my parents, especially Dad. When I get my own place, I'm buying a puppy before I even fill the fridge.

Upon entering the bookstore, I was greeted by a tall, nerdy clerk. He knows me. I'm one of the regulars.

I usually spend a while in there, browsing the young adult novels.

Classical music played over the loudspeaker, and the place smelled incredible—there's nothing like the smell of ink and paper! At least, not for bookworms like me there isn't!

I seated myself at the base of a bookshelf in the back of the store and looked through some books. I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but I'm one of those people that do—I like to see what the guys portrayed inside look like, and read through the book briefly. I'm not into naughty books, but I'll have to admit, I _am_ seventeen, and I _am_ curious.

I spent a good hour reading, ignoring all the passersby and the loud giggly girls—as I call them—who walked in and headed straight for the adult romance novels. You know, the books with the half-naked men and extremely content women on the cover? _Those_ novels.

The girls gathered around in a circle, whispered loudly, read and pointed and giggled, and this would—on some days—go on for about thirty minutes straight. This time, though, they went on for nearly an hour, about twenty or so feet from me, laughing wildly. It annoyed the hell out of me.

I skimmed through a book titled _Love at the End of the Day_ , which seemed like another I'm-going-away-to-college-and-I'll-miss-you kind of book. The kind that depressed me in more ways than one, because I too was facing the uncertainty of college. And—what's worse—I had no one to say goodbye _to_ , because I was single.

I closed the book and sighed uneasily. My focus turned suddenly to a guy dressed in loose black jeans and a white muscle shirt. He wore a silver chain around his neck, held a black leather jacket, and strolled through the aisles in search of something. His hair was golden blond, split down the middle like Sullivan's, but far shorter, leveling off at the top of his ears. He stopped in an aisle in the center section of the store, between me and the giggly girls. I thought he stopped in the travel section, but I wasn't sure. Not until he picked up an atlas of Alaska.

I watched him curiously for some time. I hoped he wouldn't look my way, because I stared like he's a Greek god or something.

This guy is _seriously_ hot! Too hot to even _live_ here!

He eagerly skimmed the atlas. After some time, he bent over, put it back on the shelf and picked up another. He stood back up and looked through it, and when he tilted his head my way I got a glimpse of his eyes. His eyes are a light crystal blue, unlike any I've ever seen before! They're incredible! Too hot for words!

I jumped and practically juggled my cell phone when it rang. Looking around sheepishly, I hit the green _talk_ button.

"Hi!" It was Lilly.

"Hi," I breathed softly. And I nearly choked on my spit when I saw him eyeing me! His head was slightly turned my way.

"We need to get together. I'm leaving in the morning," Lilly said, preoccupied in the background. "Do you want to meet at the ice rink? It's been a week and I won't have any practice for another three." Chatterbox Lilly has a tendency to go off on tangents. This time I couldn't catch it all because a Greek god distracted me.

His eyes alternated between me and his book, though each time our eyes met, he looked away. "Lilly," I hissed so he couldn't hear me, "there's a _seriously hot guy_ in here."

She stopped talking to her mother in the background. "What? I didn't hear you."

I turned my head toward the bookshelf so he couldn't read my lips. "There's this guy in here, and he's _really, really HOT_." I turned my head in time to see him stick his nose back in the atlas. "Did you hear me?" I asked in my normal voice.

"Yeah," she uttered, "something about a hot guy. So go talk to him!"

"I don't know..." I was always the shy type.

"No, you should. Where are you?'

"At the mall," I replied. Then I remembered. "Hey, how's your brother?" _Please mention his name!_

"Oh, he's good," she breathed. "He met Burke this morning, because Burke was on a business trip much of the weekend," she said, going off on another tangent.

The giggly girls grew noisy, so I pressed the phone hard against my ear to try to make out what she was saying. I couldn't catch most of it.

"Are you there?" is the next thing I heard.

"Yeah," I breathed. "Can you come by the mall?"

"I'd like to, but I'm packing. Can you come by here? When I finish, maybe we can go skate?"

I was about to say _yes_ when a smile formed on his lips. He was still looking at the atlas, but it felt like it was directed at me. I bit my lip, trying to decide—best friend or drop-dead gorgeous hot guy? _Ugh, decisions!_ But what kind of a friend would I be if I refused to see her before she left on vacation? "I'll be right—"

She cut me off. "Someone's on the other line, how about I call you in a few hours, okay? I think it may be my brother, probably lost already. He's been out all weekend in some cheesy rental! I just hope it's not that dumb jock again!"

"Um, okay." I was going to ask if she wanted me to drop by, but she hung up.

I put my phone away and looked at the giggly girls. They're all pretty short—not that I'm tall or anything—two brunettes and three blondes. All between fourteen and sixteen. One of them pointed to _him_ , the others checked him out and whispered back and forth like sixth-graders.

Annoyed, I stuck my nose back in the book. When my eyes wandered a few seconds later, he was looking at me, plain as day!

He gestured to the giggly girls with his head, made a bit of a face and smiled.

My shoulders sunk toward my feet and my mouth formed a grin. _He's looking at me!_ Naturally, I tried to contain myself—I've _imagined_ things like this before. Yes, I've imagined gorgeous, _literate_ guys checking me out, when they're merely zit-faced losers with braces, dirty hair and the inability to formulate a sentence.

_Need I remind you, the guys at school are_ not _much to look at?_

His attention shifted away from me. He put the atlas back on the shelf and pulled out another. Yup, I'd imagined it! But I found pleasure in watching him anyway, so I did.

There's a term for that—it's called _stalking_ , right?

Before I could stalk much longer, he put the atlas down and very coolly strolled my way.

I pretended not to notice. I didn't want to look dumb when he'd pass by me. That's happened before, too, and not with a guy _this_ hot.

My eyes fixed to page sixteen. I waited in suspense.

No one passed by. My breath stopped when I looked up: There he was.

"Good book?" he asked with a half-smile.

"Uh-huh," I uttered, unable to find my voice.

He cocked his head and looked at the cover. " _Love at the End of the Day_ ," he read, straightening his head and nodding as if that answered his question. "Going to buy that?"

I glanced toward the front of the store, where the clerk sat in a rotating chair, blowing a bubble and lost in a book. My eyes met the Greek god's. "I don't know. Should I?"

He shrugged. The giggly girls laughed loudly, but he blocked my view of them. "You could buy it and have lunch with me. Or you can leave it and have lunch with me..." The corners of his mouth rose into a seductive smile. "Or, you can bash me over the head with it for asking." He grinned. His teeth were perfect.

At this point I was so stunned that I literally turned to see if there was anyone behind me he could possibly be talking to. Nope, just books.

I was speechless, with my mouth hanging, even. I never in my wildest dreams thought a guy who looked like _him_ would ever talk to _me_.

" _Me_ , have lunch with _you_?" I asked in disbelief.

"I'm not _that_ hideous, am I?" His grin grew.

" _No!"_ I blurted instantly.

He laughed.

I put the book back on the shelf and got to my feet. "I guess I could go for lunch." I motioned to the travel section. "Gonna get your atlas?"

"Nah." He winked. "Didn't you know? Men don't need directions."

And we left the giggly girls gasping.

~~~

"So your dad's a writer and your mom's an anth-anthra—"

"She's an anthropologist," I confirmed. His cute, struggling expression made me grin.

"And that is...?" He took a bite of pepperoni pizza.

"A social scientist that studies culture," I explained, not wanting to get technical. My mom was the last person I wanted to discuss with a Greek god.

I meant to ask about his parents, but before I could, he said, "That's pretty cool. She sounds really smart."

"She has a Ph.D.," I said dully, still trying to get off the subject.

He took another bite. "I'm a senior, too. I start school tomorrow."

"Really? That's kind of late to be starting school." It isn't that odd, though, since there are plenty of new kids—mostly from military families—starting at my school every week. But it kept us talking.

"I transferred here," he uttered. "And all I'm looking forward to at school is math class."

" _Math_ class?" I laughed, though I quickly realized that must've seemed rude. "How so?"

"Math is cool," he explained, pointing his index fingers at me. "And I'm _not_ a nerd!" He grinned and took another bite. "I like the challenge."

"Are you taking algebra two?"

"No, I'm taking calculus two. Anyway, don't get the wrong impression—I don't crunch numbers for fun all day or anything."

I took a bite of my pizza. I'm not a fan of pepperoni, but that's what he ordered himself; he paid for mine, and he's just too hot for me to insult his food of choice. So I swallowed it, barely. "What do you do for fun?"

"I do movies, skiing, and beautiful girls." He winked and grinned devilishly.

" _You_ do _beautiful girls?"_ I blurted. And gasped! I covered my face, humiliated.

He was taken aback. "Uh... no..." He frowned. "And that's not because I _do_ ugly girls, either," he quickly added.

I stared at him, mortified.

He shook his head, hid his beet-red face in his hand and laughed. "Sorry, I was not expecting the question!"

"No, it just slipped out! It's my fault, I'm sorry!" Seriously, I wanted to die!

He put his hand out. "It's okay. No worries."

I bit my lip nervously. His icy blues made me blush.

I looked down at my oily plate, picked up my pizza, and forced another bite. He looked at me in the sweetest way—it even made me forget what I was eating.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"You seem uncomfortable," he noted.

_Yeah, well, I just asked if you_ do _beautiful girls, and I want to puke up my pepperoni._ "I'm great," I assured him. "Now."

More awkward silence, before he breathed, "So, how about a movie?"

A movie? With _him?_ "Absolutely," I said, acting composed, ecstatic inside.

~~~

We saw the new Ben Stiller movie. We were high on laughter, sick to the stomach from so much candy, popcorn and soda by the time it was over. And greasy pepperoni under all that.

Meeting _him_ at the bookstore, lunch, window shopping, talking—mostly about me, he wants to know _everything_ about _me!_ —and the film; it had to be the best night of my life!

We sat on a bench for a while. My phone vibrated three times during the movie. I reached for the phone in my pocket to check my messages.

Two messages were from Lilly, the last from my dad. I checked my watch, and to my dismay it was nearly 8:30! Dad wanted to remind me of my nine o'clock curfew. But Lilly's messages made me feel lousy.

_6:23 p.m.:_ _I said I'd call back so we can get together. Where are you? Jeez, everyone vanished on me today. Mom and I are leaving at eight in the morning. Call me!_

_7:58 p.m.:_ _It's almost eight. I guess you're busy with the hottie you said you saw earlier. If I don't hear from you, I'll see you in a few weeks. I'll bring you back something cool. Good luck, okay? By the way, I saw that dweeb Jake at the skating rink. I told him you were on a hot date! You're welcome! Bye!_

I sighed guiltily. Then I realized he was watching me, and that we'd been so on the subject of _me_ that I never even caught his name.

At first I was hesitant to ask, but if I didn't, what the heck would I call him?

Yeah, I have this problem a lot.

"Uh, sorry, I seemed to have forgotten your name." I smiled sheepishly. The hottest guy I'd ever met, and I forgot his name—I'm off to a great start!

He laughed. "You never asked for my name."

I waited shyly, feeling majorly dumb. He probably thinks I'm stuck on myself!

"Luke," he said. "Luke Pawlak."

I ogled him. He is _so_ freakin' amazing.

After a brief moment, he cleared his throat, smiled and added, "It's Polish."

I snapped out of it. "It was great spending the day with you, Luke." I couldn't emphasize _that_ enough!

"Same here, Adonia. What does your name mean, anyway?"

I felt myself blush. "Beautiful...." It makes me sound like I'm even _more_ stuck on myself, thanks to my mom and her love of Greek names.

"Wow," he said, eyes twinkling, "your parents were right on target when they named you that!"

I saw _that_ coming!

He looked around at all the near-empty stores as I fiddled with my watch. I didn't know how to tell him that I have a nine o'clock curfew. How totally lame, he'll think my parents baby me!

And then he looked at me funnily.

"I need to go home now. My dad gave me a curfew," I muttered.

To my relief, he smiled. "Sure. Need a ride?"

I was totally tempted. But leaving Mom's car in an empty lot for thieves is _not_ a good idea. She'd fly home and kill me if anything ever happened to it. "I drove here."

He nodded. "So, maybe I can I get your number?"

I pulled out my thumb-sized address book, wrote it down, tore the page out and handed it to him. Our hands touched and my heart fluttered.

"Thanks. You couldn't jot it down on something smaller...?" he joked.

I laughed.

"I'll call you," he breathed. Then he smiled, waved, and took a few steps back. He turned and walked toward the exit. But within a few yards he stopped and looked at me. "Hey Beautiful, should I walk you to your car?"

I giggled. "I can handle it!" Mostly so I can see his butt as he walked away.

~~~

Traffic almost made me miss curfew. I got home thirty seconds after nine.

Dad was on the couch with his laptop and _Writer's Digest_ , pocket watch in hand. The look on his face made me sweat. "Thirty seconds! Round it up to the next minute and you're late!"

I rolled my eyes.

He smiled and raised his eyebrows, obviously awaiting an explanation. I thought having to give one was cheesy, but I gave him one anyway.

"I'm sorry, Dad. Traffic ... and I didn't wanna speed."

He nodded. "Did you have a good time?"

I took my coat off and joined him on the couch. "I had a date."

"Oh? You had a date with whom?"

"With a nice guy named Luke. We saw the new Ben Stiller movie." I had to stick the _nice guy_ part in there—if I didn't, he'd ask a ton of questions and it would just take longer.

"Was it a good movie?"

"Quite."

"Was he well behaved?"

"He was great, Dad...." He actually was—he was sensitive enough to keep his hands to himself through the entire movie!

He resumed typing. "Let me know if he misbehaves!"

I headed up the stairs to change.

"Oh, look who's home!" a voice called down to me.

Jake was at the top of the stairs. I pushed past him. "What are you doing here?"

"Hangin' out with Sullivan," he uttered, stopping at my bedroom door. "I went by the rink today. Saw Lilly. She said you had a date, I was shocked." He laughed. Jake's still cute—dark-haired and blue-eyed—but a total joke compared to the Greek god I'd just met.

"Yup," I boasted.

He grew serious. "Do I know him?"

I shook my head. "No. But he looks, acts, and _smells_ better than you!" He deserved a taste of his own medicine, dumping me for a pea-brained cheerleader. "How's Jenna?"

"She's great! And how are you?"

I beamed. "I'm awesome. _Now..._."

"Glad you were finally able to get over me."

_How conceited!_ "Like there's anything to get over...." I threw myself on my bed and opened the book I was currently on, _Life of Pi_.

"Still a bookworm, huh?" He's _such_ a nuisance.

"Would you rather I spend my free time sleeping with the football team?" That one, of course, was aimed at his new girlfriend.

He crossed his arms and leaned against the frame of my door. "Look, that's not why I broke up with you."

"And I'm the President of the United States of America!"

He rolled his eyes.

He's got to know he's an awful liar! And wasn't he supposed to be _playing video games_ with that pest Sullivan? I started reading, wishing him away like a fly. If only I could swat him!

After a lengthy moment, he sighed and said, "I really did love you."

"You know, you were so pushy you were downright hounding me. And I finally snapped because you deserved it!" I shook my head. "Did you ever think maybe I don't like you _that_ much?"

His expression was blank.

"And why are you hanging out with a little seventh grader, anyway? You're always around!"

"I'm only here to help him beat some levels."

"Every day?"

"There are just lots of levels."

Dad suddenly appeared beside him. "Is there a problem here?" He stared into the side of Jake's face.

I rubbed my forehead. Dad never stayed out of anything long enough for us to settle it. "No, Dad, there isn't. Jake was just leaving. Weren't you, Jake?"

Jake cleared his throat, not looking at my dad. "I'm leaving soon, Mr. Morrison."

"If you need anything, Adonia, I'll be in my office." He looked at Jake again. "That's right down the hall, you know." Dad left after a quick wink back at me. I turned my attention back to my too-horny-to-be-with-me ex-boyfriend.

"Look," Jake mumbled. "I just wanted to say _hi_."

"So did you get what you dumped me for?"

He looked annoyed. "Good night, Adonia."

I felt a sting of guilt and glanced his way. " _Bye_ ," I muttered, looking into my book again, too upset to read. What made it worse, he still stood there and stared at me for like five minutes, like he did when we used to argue. I tried to look past him, but his eyes gripped me.

His eyes are crap compared to Luke's.

Then my cell phone rang. Luke to the rescue, thank God! Speaking of which...

"Hi, Luke!"

Jake sighed heavily, turned and stomped back into Sullivan's room. I got up and shut my door for privacy.

"Hey, how's it going?" he said. "I wanted to give you my number."

"Great," I said, copying it from the caller ID to the cover of my journal.

"So you got home okay?"

"Yeah."

"It gets cold up here, huh?"

I giggled. "It'll get colder."

"Ouch! Yeah, things are pretty dry at my house this evening. Everyone hit the sack early." After a brief silence, he cleared his throat. "You're quiet tonight."

"Well you _just_ called, give me time!" I said with a chuckle. "And my ex was just here, he kinda annoyed me," I confided. "He always hangs around my little brother." I closed my book and tossed it on my desk. I put a pillow under my chin and listened to the brief pause on the other end.

"Sounds like he still likes you," Luke said. "Do you still like him?"

"Not exactly," I said. "I like you, though."

Silence.

Then he said, "Really?"

"Yeah." I guess that means he didn't notice my drooling in the mall.

He cleared his throat. "Maybe we should hook up again, if you want to? Don't want to force you into another relationship or anything."

I walked over to the door and opened it wide. "Luke," I said loudly, "I'd _love_ to go out with you!"

He laughed. "Awesome!"

A door slammed and heavy footsteps descended the stairs. The front door opened and slammed shut, hard enough to shake the house. "Hey!" Sullivan screamed as he emerged in the hall and peered down the stairs.

I smiled to myself and shut my door.

"Thanks for the great time today," I breathed. "It was a lot of fun."

"I had fun, too. Will you be in school tomorrow? I don't really know anyone else... Always unprepared."

I beamed. "Locker fifteen blue. The walls are color-coded with the lockers, so it's easy to find your way around."

He cleared his throat. "Fifteen blue. Sweet. Okay, well, I'll drop by before my first class."

"Great."

"Great," he confirmed. "Good night, Beautiful."

"Good night, Luke." I hung up and gripped my heart.

I turned off my lights to change by moonlight. Changing with the lights on freaks me out—I keep thinking some pervert is watching through binoculars.

Outside, the wind blew through the moonlit spruce. I slipped on a silk nightgown. It had a slit on the side, and it was rather tight on my body.

Under the comforter, I thought about things. Like Luke. His crystal blue eyes. His perfect hair. His cool demeanor. And his focus on _me_. I sort of liked the attention, from a guy like _him_. I broke into a grin. I couldn't wait to see him again!

I wished I could call Lilly to tell her about him, but she was probably sleeping. And I was half asleep myself.

I'd call her really early in the morning and wish her a nice trip. Not getting a vacation didn't seem so bad anymore—at least I could hang around that hunk Luke.

# IV

Luke waited by my locker in the morning, wearing an awesome blue muscle shirt and loose black jeans. Three girls stood drooling across the hall. _I'll bet_ they _think he's a Greek god, too!_

"Hi!" I stopped just short of him.

"Hey." He seemed hesitant, like maybe he wanted to kiss me but wasn't sure if he should.

Yeah, I'm sure that's just wishful thinking.

I wore a tight sweater, denim jeans, and my hair perfect. Perfect because I spent hours in the bathroom that morning washing, conditioning, blow drying, brushing, moisturizing. Then there was the task of make-up, and getting dressed. I had to look good for him. And by the looks he gave me, it seemed I'd succeeded—at Lilly's expense, because I never called her.

"You found your locker, I see," I said to break the silence, pointing at his muscle shirt.

He laughed. "Yup, put my jacket away."

"So, what classes are you taking?"

He pulled his schedule out of his pocket. "Math first, then history, art, and creative writing."

My face lit up. "You have creative writing with me! You'll love it, it's awesome!" I couldn't believe my luck! Awesome class, awesome guy!

He raised his eyebrows. "Is it fun?"

"Like english class, just with writing about whatever you want. And it's certainly funner than math!"

He leaned against the locker next door. "I guess you're a writer, then," he breathed. "No wonder I found you in a bookstore."

I laughed, pulled my home economics notebook out of my locker and threw my book bag in. Sometimes I'd rather carry books. That enables me to drop them when I see a cute guy. Then he'd pick them up and fall in love with me.

At least, he would in my fantasies.

"I love writing! And honestly, I think it's painful that you have math class first thing in the morning!"

"I don't mind it at all. It wakes me up."

The warning bell rang. Noisy people crowded the hall, elbowing their way through. I shut my locker and turned the combination dial on the lock.

"I'll see you at lunch?" His gorgeous eyes twinkled.

I smiled shyly. "Yeah, I usually sit in back. My best friend's gone, and we have plenty of room at our table!"

In an instant, Tristan Minter flung around the corner and slammed into Luke. Tristan's a big, dark-haired, green-eyed jock who failed his last IQ test.

Tristan swore, called back, "Sorry, man," and went about his way, while Luke was flat against me, pinning me to the locker.

He pulled away bashfully. "Sorry," he breathed, his face flushed. "Got pushed."

I grinned. I'd just felt bulging muscles! "Don't worry about it! The halls get way too hectic around here."

He nodded. "See you at lunch?"

"See you there!"

I was off to home economics, smelling like Luke, knowing that I won't be able to concentrate on a damn thing. And I liked it.

~~~

Home economics is a terrible class. Not because we have to balance "checkbooks" and memorize recipes, but because everyone I hate is in it. Everyone includes _Jenna,_ and Jake's best friend, Tom Belling. Tom's got highlighted spiky brown hair, green eyes, and a pierced ear. His talent lies in mocking and poking fun at people, like the parasite he is. He was cool with me in the eleventh grade, but now he just taunts and laughs at everything I do. What's worse, he is in every class with me this semester.

"Hi, Shorty," Tom mocked as I sat in my seat to his left. It's an assigned seat, certainly not by choice. I rolled my eyes. Compared to his _mom_ , I'm tall.

I began my work as he and slutty Jenna talked about me behind my back. Jenna sits behind him, and uses words like "like" and "oh my God!" in every sentence. She has long, light brown hair, blue contacts over brown eyes, and ridiculously tight clothing that practically rolled up her body. She's also taller than me by about four inches.

Jenna's not much different from the ditzy giggly girls at the mall. It's shocking that I never saw her in that bookstore with them. Then again, I suppose tending to the needs of every guy on the football team is _very_ time consuming.

"Oh my God, Tom, did you see that blond guy by, like, Adonia's locker? Like, what is he _doing_ wasting time on _her_?" she asked like I wasn't even there.

She has the hots for _my_ boyfriend, go me! And if I wore clothes that I outgrew five years ago, I bet I'd have more guys hanging around me than she does around her.

"Heard about that dude from Jake last night," Tom said. "Haven't seen him yet."

"Like, why was Jake talking about him?" Jenna asked in a shaky tone I secretly loved. _She's worried?_ I laughed under my breath.

Ms. Sanderson made her entrance. She's ancient. And because she'd started teaching in the early 1800s, she was so old-fashioned that no one could talk without expressed permission—if they did, they'd get written up. She's hunchbacked, small-figured, with tiny reading glasses that hung off a chain around her neck.

Everyone groaned when she walked in.

After dragging through attendance, she got up, just barely, closed the door and started lecturing on the proper boiling time for spaghetti.

As Ms. Sanderson faced the board, Jenna whispered, "I think Adonia like, wants to steal Jake back. That's why she's pretending to be, like, that cutie's girlfriend. Oh my God, I bet they're like, study partners."

Tom laughed under his breath.

I wish my first class didn't require toothpicks to keep my eyes open. And I wished those two would just die!

~~~

The instant class was over, Jenna grabbed Jake's butt and shoved her tongue down his throat. I'm not sure why she thought I'd care. I mean, all she's got is Jake, and he's no Greek god!

At least she's not in my second period gym class, although Tom and Jake are. Without Lilly there, I was pretty damn miserable.

Jake looked my way constantly. He's way meaner in school than he is at my house; I guess he's got an image to protect.

"Volleyball today!" screamed Ms. Gee as she blew her horrid whistle. She's very butch, and it seemed she enjoyed the girls' locker room. I always feel awkward changing in front of her.

I won't deny my passionate hatred for gym class. It's stupid! Ms. Gee obviously isn't losing a pound, so what good is the class, anyway? At five-foot-one and ninety-eight pounds, my weight is one of the few things I never worry about.

I hid in back, but for the sake of my grade, I hit the ball on occasion. The seconds dragged on. Why couldn't Luke be in _this_ class, too? I wouldn't mind seeing him in gym shorts.

Jake was on my team and Tom was on the other. People kept urging me to hit the ball and got pissed when I missed. Seriously, people take this game way too damn seriously!

When I finally hit it, it bounced off my hands and went right over the net, splat onto Tom's fists and back in my face— _POW!_

I covered my face. It burned and it _stung!_ I tried to contain my tears. Everyone looked. My eyes settled on Jake just as the whistle blew.

"Tom, on the bench!" Ms. Gee screamed, pointing to the bleachers. "Adonia, are you all right?"

I nodded, humiliated. I didn't want her bringing it to everyone's attention anymore, so I waved her off and dove for the ball again after the whistle sounded the second time.

On second thought, maybe I should have asked to see Mr. Bias—I think I'm emotionally scarred.

~~~

Our cafeteria is huge, round, and practically made of windows, but no matter how aesthetically pleasing, it's still plagued with that nasty cafeteria-food smell.

I paid for my tray and sat in the back. I kept an eye out for Luke, hoping he wouldn't notice the red in my face. It's not a story I wanted to share.

I sat with Anna Davis, the smartest girl in school. She's a genius. Just being around her makes me feel dumb. She isn't in any of my classes—she's in advanced courses—calculus, ecology, anatomy, and physics. I met her at the start of the semester, she's a tutor in Lilly's environmental chemistry class.

Jake, Tom, Jenna and Tristan sat at the table across from us. Jenna sneered from what used to be my seat. I shot her a look and applied ketchup to my burger.

"You seem down," Anna noted, pulling a tight, curly lock out of her face. She has smooth, caramel-colored skin and a complexion to die for. It's like she never had a zit in her life.

"Lilly's gonna be gone for three weeks. First day in and I got smacked over the face with a volleyball by _him_." I gestured toward Tom with my nose.

"Ick, what a jerk!" She ate like a homeless girl; practically inhaled her burger. "Lilly's having fun now, be happy for her! She's in a better place!"

I sighed and nibbled on my food. "Did you guys hang out this weekend?"

"No. I was too busy studying. She invited me ice skating, but I figured she'd be busy with her brother and stuff anyway. Have you met him?"

"No. I don't even remember his name."

She looked like she was trying to remember, but she finally shrugged and said, "I don't think she even told me his name, she mentioned him in passing. I didn't even know she _had_ a brother!"

I put my burger down. "Me neither. Isn't that just weird?"

Anna nodded, shoving about seven fries in her mouth. For a slim girl, she eats a lot. Being a genius must build up an appetite. "Tell me about it! But that girl's full of surprises. It must be worse that she didn't tell you, I've only known her a few months."

"I know! We've been best friends for six years!"

Anna shook her head and gulped down her milk.

"Any room for me?" asked the irresistible voice of someone towering over me.

I finally found something to smile about again. "Sure, sit!" When he did, I introduced him to Anna. "This is Luke Pawlak. He's new."

Anna smiled—the kind of smile you smile when someone's drop-dead-gorgeous. "Hi, Luke!" She shook his hand and continued her lunch, her eyes peeking his way every now and then. "Don't mind me, I've got exams to study for, plus the ACT. I'm trying to finish eating quickly so I can get to my locker."

Luke nodded and gave me a light smile. "How was your morning?"

I shrugged uneventfully, hoping he'd never find out. "So-so. And yours?"

He ran a French fry through a puddle of ketchup. "Interesting. Had math and history. At least math was good."

A whistle sounded from the next table over—Tom, Jake, and Jenna's table. We turned our heads to Jake. "Hey, that's the guy in my math class!"

Luke turned to me. "Who's _that_ guy?"

"The ex I told you about."

"Oh." Luke was quiet after that. He ate his fries, glancing at me from time to time.

Tom eventually came by the table and sat beside Anna, who was in the process of leaving. He looked at Luke, unamused, and then at me. "So who is this?" he asked like it was his business.

"Luke," said Luke. "Who's asking?"

"Tom." He scratched his head and sucked his teeth. Tom tries his best to annoy someone every second of his existence. If he's not bothering _somebody_ , he's not living life to the fullest. "So you're with Adonia now, huh?"

"We're trying to eat," I informed him.

Tom rubbed his chin thoughtfully, like thinking is something he has the mental capacity for. "So eat."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm losing my appetite!"

Tom pointed at my face. "Still a bit red from that volleyball I see."

Luke raised an eyebrow. "What happened with the volleyball?"

Tom laughed like it was the highlight of his day.

"He smacked me in the face with it during gym today."

Luke looked to him. "Why would you do that?"

Tom sneered at me. "Hey, you know, if you worked on _participating_ in gym, you wouldn't have gotten hit."

"Maybe you should work on being less of an asshole," Luke suggested.

"Who's an asshole? You don't even know me."

"I know enough to know you're an asshole, hurting a girl."

"Oh, boo-hoo," Tom taunted, "she'll get over it."

"Can you just go away?" I barked, pushing Tom's arm off my side of the table.

"Stop having Sullivan invite Jake over to your house. Jenna's getting sick of you putting the moves on her man."

"I didn't tell Sullivan to _invite him_ anywhere," I hissed. "And I'm not hitting on that horny worm, either."

Tom shrugged. "That's what he told us."

"I don't hit on the jerk, okay? It's the other way around!"

Tom leaned in toward us. "He wants to talk to your boyfriend."

I just stared at him. Then my gaze turned to Luke.

Luke smirked. "I'm free after lunch."

Great, he couldn't do it with me around?

An annoying minute later, Tom went back to his table and delivered the message.

We sat in a brief silence.

"Luke? Would you mind helping me with math homework tonight? I'm a little behind doing it." Actually, I wasn't, but I figured I'd be getting more, and I needed an excuse to see him.

"Sure."

"We can meet at my locker and you can get on my bus," I offered.

He grinned and pushed his plate toward the center of the table, his food barely touched. "Cool."

I obsessed all day over what Jake and Luke talked about in the hall after lunch. I hoped whatever it was was true at least, but knowing Jake, I doubt it.

~~~

"Thirteen-thirteen Massacre Lane," Luke said with some amusement as he waited for me to unlock the door. "Wow. How do you feel about this?"

"Not much I can do until college. Then I just won't live here anymore!" I struggled to get my key out of the depths of my book bag.

When I finally opened the door, we stepped in. Dad was on the couch in brown sweats, his nose in a new _Writer's Digest_ , his hand independently scribbling notes on paper. "Hi, Adonia," he said without looking. "How was school?"

"Okay."

"Mom called," Dad said, still reading. "She'll be back for a week next week. And I've been asked by the University of Arizona to be a guest speaker for four days later this month. They're paying big bucks!" He dropped his pen and rubbed his thumb and index finger together in the air. Then he looked up, stunned to see a guy with me. "Oh." He got up and paced toward us, his hand out for Luke to shake. "And who's this?"

"This is Luke. Remember, Dad, I told you about him?"

"Of course," Dad said, still shaking Luke's hand.

"Nice to meet you, sir," Luke said.

"Luke's good at math, so I asked him to help me with my homework."

Dad looked perplexed. "Why didn't you tell me you need help with math? I would've helped you myself."

" _Daaaad...."_ I moaned.

"Well, anyway. That sure is nice of you, Luke." After looking Luke over for a minute, Dad said, "You know what, why don't you two work in the kitchen? Best room in the house!"

I rolled my eyes. The man clearly suffers from extreme paranoia.

Dad told us to holler if we needed anything. And I walked Luke to the kitchen table.

Luke sat beside me at the table. "Big house," he breathed, looking around.

I smiled nervously. I didn't know what to do about not having any homework. I'd even hoped during math that Mr. Michaels would give us some, but he didn't. He was too busy lecturing when the bell rang and he had no time.

I couldn't come up with an excuse by the time Luke asked what I had to do. "On second thought, he didn't assign any."

He laughed. "Okay..." He looked around for a minute. Then he asked in a low, sexy voice, "So what do you want to do?"

"Let's hang out. Maybe in a while we can leave?"

"Sure, that would be sweet."

"So, what did Jake say after lunch?" I pressed.

"He didn't say much." After some silence he added, "You don't believe that, though."

I shook my head no.

He took off his coat and spread it across the back of the seat, revealing godlike arms, and a stunning chest. Then he smiled, like wondering what I was blushing at. _Surely_ he had to know he's _hot!_

"He really didn't say anything worth mentioning. I think he's just pissed he lost you."

" _Should I mention that_ Jake _dumped_ me _?"_ I blurted.

Luke looked dubious. "What guy would dump _you?_ "

"One that hounds me, and gets sick of rejection."

"Oh," Luke breathed. "Well if he doesn't respect you enough not to pester you, he doesn't have your best interests at heart."

And there it is—the sweetest thing I'd heard all day.

Just then, Jake and Sullivan entered the kitchen and raided the fridge. Once they were done, they opened their sodas, held their chips and salsa and stared at us.

"Is that your new boyfriend?" Sullivan teased. His hair was all messy, but by far cleaner than his tee shirt—he definitely had leftover lasagna and orange soda earlier. My brother's about as clean as a pig at feeding hour.

"Yeah, this is Luke," I said cheerfully.

Jake rolled his eyes.

Sullivan cleared his throat after a sip of Sprite. "So Luke, what does _my dad_ think you're doing here?"

"Oh. I'm helping your sister with her homework."

"Oh, the invisible homework!" Sullivan shook his head and hollered, "Daaaaad!"

Jake snickered and I groaned. Sullivan's such a tattletale, yet he hates when I do it.

I got to my feet, grabbed Luke's arm and started toward the door. "We're going out," I said as I nearly bumped into my father.

Dad stood before us. "What's going on here?"

I sighed. "Dad, Sullivan's pestering us, and we're going out."

"Where will you be you taking my daughter?" Dad looked up at Luke, his hands on his hips.

"Dad! We're just going for a hot chocolate or coffee or something."

He frowned indecisively. " _Or something?_ Is your homework done?"

"Yes," I uttered, halfway out the door.

"Be back by nine."

We put on our coats and got into my mom's Jeep. I cranked the engine and backed out of the driveway.

"Your dad seems really nice," Luke said at a red light.

There were dozens of cars in front—it was close to rush hour. Rush hour makes me nervous, with all the stopping and going and stopping and going.

Luke must be kidding about my dad. Jake once told me Dad's the most intimidating guy in the world!

"He means well. I guess he wouldn't be so irritating if he worked someplace other than home." Our eyes met. "What's your dad like?"

"Well, my dad doesn't live with me, I live with my mom. But my dad's an okay kind of guy. He works a lot. He's a CEO, so he's always out brown-nosing clients."

I shook my head. "If my dad _didn't_ work, I don't know what I'd do!"

Luke laughed. "I guess he's tough on boyfriends, huh? Being home all the time...."

I laughed and blurted, "You'd think _that's_ why I'm still a virgin!"

Instant. Deafening. Silence.

Yeah, I wanted to crawl under the car and die.

My breath caught in my throat. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. Not until the next red light, when I convinced myself to peek over. He looked away quickly, gliding his hand through his hair with a long sigh.

"So where are we going?" he asked awkwardly.

I cleared my throat. "We can go for some hot chocolate, if that's okay."

"Sweet."

When we got to The Corner Diner, we sat at a booth in the corner (go figure!). Aside from us, a waitress, and cooks, the place was deserted.

We ordered and sat in silence. I wondered if I should bring up the comment about my virginity and tell him it was just a joke. But my virginity isn't a joke, it's quite real.

I took a sip when I got my drink. He didn't touch his. "Are you okay?" he asked.

My heart fluttered. "Yeah, why?"

"You've been quiet since in the car. I was just wondering if something is wrong."

I didn't know what to say. And I couldn't help but wonder if he was a virgin, too.

He tapped my hand and knitted his eyebrows, willing me to say something.

"Sorry, I was daydreaming!" _About your virginity, or lack thereof!_

He smiled. "Oh, it's okay."

"What's your mom like?" I asked, desperate to get my mind off his virginity.

"Nice. Never home anymore. Everything I could ever ask for." He smiled. "It's great, because I can hang around you and relax." He slouched down in his seat and hugged himself. "My house is pretty vacant these days."

I nodded dreamily.

"So have you known Anna for long?"

"Not too long," I said. "My best friend who's on vacation now, she introduced me to her." He eyed me. "Lilly's in Miami Beach, tanning as we speak."

His eyes widened. " _Lilly_?"

I nodded. "Yeah, why?"

He chugged down his hot chocolate and motioned to the waitress for the bill.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, and sipped my hot chocolate again.

He smiled simply. "No, there's nothing wrong. I was just wondering." He looked thoughtful. Then he said, "Hey, I'll be right back."

He walked to the register and waited for the waitress to ring him up. Then he came back, fell into his seat, and said, "Where to next?"

I grinned. "Wanna ice skate?"

~~~

At the outdoor rink, I taught him how to skate. Lilly taught me—she'd been skating since she was five. Now I was teaching _him_ , and after he landed face-down in my chest twice, I wondered if he was just clumsy or a bit of a pervert.

"Sorry." He turned lobster red for a second time.

The rink was crowded. It's one of the more popular hangouts for our school, besides the theater and fast food joints.

After a few more tries, Luke gave up and watched me skate. I felt bad abandoning him, so we got hotdogs and shared a root beer in the eating area.

It was pitch black out by 6:30, and the cold drove many people home. There were still lights and stars overhead, and despite the cold, Luke insisted he was having fun and wanted to stay longer.

Jenna was there with Tom, though she couldn't skate, so she spent most of her time on a bench. I wondered if her boyfriend was still at my house. And why she and Tom seemed closer than she and Jake did in the first place.

"So what's her problem?" Luke asked, motioning to Jenna as he moved sauerkraut from his plate to his hotdog.

"Jenna just hates me." She was talking to a bunch of jocks on her bench. Her eyes wandered over to us on occasion, with the obvious intention of checking out my boyfriend.

"Isn't it cold as hell in that skirt?"

I laughed. "Maybe she's still here because she can't feel her legs!"

After a few uneventful minutes Luke asked, "How long have you lived up here?"

"Too long," I said. "Can't wait to move out."

"On your own...? Does that make you nervous?"

"I dunno. Can't be any worse than life now! And you?"

He shrugged. "Didn't have the best dad in the world, I'm used to being alone."

"Do you miss California?" I asked.

"Nah. You're not there." He winked.

I felt myself blush. "Did you have a girlfriend there?" I pried. _If he didn't, I'll die of shock._

"On occasion," he breathed. "No one I was too crazy about."

He may not have been too crazy about them, but I'm betting they were all hotter than me. Lilly-hot, probably.

"Did you live in California long?"

"Well, I traveled a lot."

"To exotic ski locations?" I grinned.

"Yup. Only cool thing about my dad, he loves buying me plane tickets. He's supposed to get me a trainer up here. Whenever he gets around to it," he said with an eye roll.

"I'm not my mom's top priority, so don't feel bad."

"Weird. _I_ can't get enough of you," he said flirtatiously.

I blushed. "At least someone can't."

Before long, my eyes began to droop. It was getting hard to keep them open.

"Are you okay?"

"I hate to go home before curfew, but I'm exhausted."

"Why don't you let me drive?" he offered. "You shouldn't drive tired."

I gave him the keys to Mom's car. My contacts were drying up in my eyes and it was hard to concentrate on anything.

When he got me home, he handed me the keys. "I'll just call a cab," he assured me, since I was worried about how he'd get home.

"Is it far?" I asked.

"A couple of miles."

"Let me drive you, I can manage a few miles."

"No," he insisted. "Seriously, it's not a big deal."

"Okay. We'll meet by my locker tomorrow?"

He nodded. "Same time, same place!"

I leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you then. I had fun."

He grinned. "I had fun, too."

We got out of the car and walked to the front door, behind which my father was waiting. Dad insisted that Luke not waste money on a cab— _he'd_ drive him.

"Okay, sir," Luke said with a dry throat.

# V

Since Thursday was an early-out, Luke took me to Grizzly Mountain for a crash course in skiing. And I mean a _crash_ course.

"My girl has to be good on skis," he said, with a smile and a wink. I was jittery, because skiing isn't much like ice skating.

After my hundredth fall, he explained stopping again. "When you want to stop, point your feet toward each other. Kind of like ice skating, it's not as hard as you think."

Says the guy who fell in my chest. Twice.

I fell behind on the advanced ski trail. I kept trying to ski like I'm "advanced" because I didn't want _him_ taking the starter trails with fifth graders. Thankfully, by five, I had it pretty much figured out.

At 7:20, we decided to give it one more run before heading back to his Jeep to go home.

He bought the Jeep on Wednesday—the only day I didn't see him after school. His dad sent him money for it. I wish my dad bought me a brand new car! Luke says it's lousy-parent-guilt-money, and an early graduation present to boot.

I guess I'm supposed to just be happy with my allowance—a whole twenty bucks a week. Dad won't let me keep a job during the school year, and he seriously thinks twenty bucks makes up for it.

We took the lift up to the expert trail, at the top of Grizzly Mountain. An occasional light lit the trail, and moonlight lit the mountains that encompassed us. The sky was amazingly clear, painted with bright stars and a dancing blue-green aurora. It was very picturesque.

"Wow," he breathed, his eyes on the sky. "I haven't seen the northern lights since Iceland. This is really amazing."

"I can't imagine why you'd go to a place called _Ice_ land," I teased.

He chuckled and leaned into my ear. "Where there's snow, I go," he whispered. His breath made me feel funny. I was really tempted to kiss him.

We soon stood before a comforting sign that read,

Warning: Experts only beyond this point!

I was no expert, but Luke obviously had some faith in me. It probably helped that I got the hang of stopping.

I moved my fingers in and out of a fist to get the blood pumping back to my hand. It was at least ten degrees below zero. We were both bundled up, except for the snow pants. Since I didn't have a pair, he wore polyester pants like mine. He didn't bring his goggles, either, because unless it's snowing or he's planning to go super-fast, he thinks they're cheesy.

"So, you're absolutely sure you're comfortable with this trail? Because it's dark now, this is harder than the other trails, and I'm willing to take an easier one!"

"I'm fine!" I assured him, "I have a helmet!"

He laughed. "Okay. But let's start out slow. I'm kind of worried."

At the top, we were at about a 7,000-foot elevation and much of what the snow covered was rock.

There were cliffs and spruce on either side of us, and at one point my faith in stopping just wasn't there—though I was up for the challenge, mostly to impress him.

We went easy until the halfway mark. We got there at arms' distance. When the slope got a bit safer and the cliffs not as steep, I grew the courage to push him into the snow and take off.

He got to his feet laughing and began the chase. I could barely contain my excitement. I used my poles to pick up speed, squealing so loud when he closed in on me I thought I'd cause an avalanche.

"This is crazy!" he laughed, falling a third time as I pushed him down, barely evading him.

I slowed for him. My lungs hurt from the frost engulfed in them.

"You okay?" he asked as he caught up.

"My lungs hurt."

"Where's your scarf?"

"Don't have one."

"You're lucky this isn't the Alps! You wouldn't make that mistake if it was!"

I raised an eyebrow, still short of breath. "You skied in the Alps?"

"And in Chile, too, when I was ten!" He laughed. "I was born on skis, didn't you know?"

"Ever ski anywhere _basic_?"

"Colorado, Canada, Montana, Vermont ... I don't know, are those basic?"

I giggled. "Not really."

Before long, we were three-quarters of the way down. It was very dark, cold, and serene. I skied the bends, in the lead when I suddenly saw a dark flash. He screamed, "Watch out!"

I froze, colliding without a chance to avoid it. I fell and struck snow-covered rocks with the ends of my skis, whirling around like a frisbee. Luckily, the very end of a fence stopped me—I would have gone over the cliff if my ski didn't get caught in it!

My face was covered in dry Alaskan snow, which is incredibly cold and sandy. It felt like it had gotten into my coat, too. But the adrenaline masked the cold for a while.

"Adonia!" he gasped as he dropped to his knees and reached for me. "Don't move, okay, so you don't fall!"

Wow, I'd cheated death by about six inches! My heart pounded. The drop below seemed steep, but I couldn't tell by moonlight alone. "What did I hit!" I screamed his way in a daze.

"I'm pretty sure you hit a moose!"

I hit a _moose_? _That's_ what that was? He grabbed my hands and pulled me to flatter ground.

"Where did it go?"

He looked around and pointed north. "I think it crossed your path and trotted off the cliff."

" _What!"_ I screamed in shock.

"I'm serious! I think it was suicidal!"

I laughed so hard I could barely get to my feet. And even then it made us giggle once we got going again. It was unbelievable—we both had to have missed what really happened. Why would a moose trot off a cliff?

Then again, they _are_ pretty dumb.

It was manageable for a while, but the cold caught up to me. Snow had definitely seeped into my gloves, jacket, and boots when I fell, and I was really beginning to feel the chill. I slowed and uttered, "I'm cold."

He stopped me and we embraced. "It's okay, we're almost down." His arms felt really good around me. "Come on," he breathed, pulling me along, "let's get you warm."

He bought me hot chocolate at the ski lodge. We talked by the fireplace for a little while, and headed to his black Jeep Wrangler. The engine roared to life and, once warmed up, Luke turned on the heat full blast.

I unzipped my jacket. Beneath it was my formfitting blue turtleneck.

"Feeling better?" Luke asked, handing me what remained of my hot chocolate and sipping his. The car was dark except for the red lit-up buttons inside and the headlights he'd turned on, which illuminated the landscape. Outside was a glistening winter wonderland. The parking lot was covered in fresh snow with a handful of cars scattered about. An occasional skier waddled by, tugging at the ski pass on his zipper.

"I'm great, thanks. Maybe we could just talk for a while," I breathed. I didn't want to go home.

I threw the jacket in the back seat. His eyes were focused on me. His hair was gelled back, giving it a suave look; his lips turned upwards to form a sweet smile. Everything about him was perfect, even his skiing was perfect. "I'm really glad you took me skiing today. I would never have learned otherwise."

He grinned. "You never would have hit a moose, either! You're really lucky you got away without even a scratch! That thing could've easily trampled you to death!"

"Or sent me over the cliff!" I giggled.

He pulled his jacket off and rested it on his seat. He wore a gray fleece sweater with black pants. After turning down the heat and turning off the headlights, he moved his arm around my seat and smiled seductively. I saw him only by moonlight, and I really liked it.

"It's good you didn't get leather seats, they suck in forty below," I said to break the silence.

"Do they?" he breathed.

"Yeah, they get all slippery." I paused briefly. "You're lucky your dad spoils you! What did your mom say when you got it?"

"She expected it, she just didn't think it'd be so soon after I got here!" After a second, he reached over, touched my lip, and whispered, "Chocolate." I felt a dab of chocolate on my lip from my drink.

He moved his head forward. I shifted toward him. When his lips touched mine, I closed my eyes. He opened his mouth and I opened mine.

We kissed. Eagerly. Barely even stopping for air.

His pulse raced through the side of his neck. I reached with my other hand and pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around him. As I slid under him, he moved over me. At first it was a bit awkward, being so cramped in that front seat, but I quickly grew comfortable.

He ran his hands through my hair and down my shoulders and sweater, breathing in my ear. When he slipped his fingers up my sweater, my breath caught in my throat.

"You okay?" he whispered. His eyes twinkled.

I nodded, a bit scared.

"Do you want to stop?" he asked in a quivering voice so low I could barely hear him over my heartbeat. He was trembling.

After brief hesitation I shook my head no.

We kissed again. I sort of hoped _he'd_ stop, because I was on the fence about it and didn't entirely trust myself to. I hadn't known him very long, but being with him was _so_ comfortable; it was hard to _want_ him to stop.

It may sound crazy, but I feel like I've known him forever.

He started sucking my neck, so I started sucking his. He slipped his fingers farther up my sweater, until his fingertips reached the underwire of my bra. Then they stopped. Shy eyes met mine. He breathed fast. He had a gleam in his eyes and a trace of a smile. His cologne—or aftershave, or whatever it was—smelled amazing. I could feel his hair prickling my forehead.

I boldly pulled his shirt off. My hands glided over his abs. _Did skiing do all that?_

He wore a soft smile. "Can I tell you something?" he breathed.

Our eyes met.

"I think I'm in love with you." His forehead touched mine. Beads of sweat from the tips of his hair gathered on my forehead.

I felt weak. Breathless. And nervous, because I did not know what to say.

So I blurted, "I hate pepperoni."

"What?"

I stared at him stupidly. Again I did not know what to say.

"You know," he smiled, "a taste for pepperoni isn't the first thing I look for in a girl."

I groaned. "I need to stop blurting stuff out."

He laughed. "Why do you do it?"

"I dunno. Sometimes I don't know what to say so I say the first thing that comes to mind, and other times I think with my mouth. It mostly happens when I'm nervous, or upset."

He grinned and squeezed me tight. "Well I think it's cute." He winked.

"That's because it doesn't happen to you!" I assured him.

"Hey, if people knew what was going through my head half the time, I'd be in some serious trouble."

I grinned. "Luke?" I whispered. "I am so lucky I met you."

He nibbled my earlobe. "I'm lucky you met me, too."

"I think Lilly will adore you," I continued.

He looked thoughtful. "Her approval's important, huh?"

"Well, we've been best friends forever!"

He looked skeptical.

"Okay, not forever. But she'll love you! I think you're perfect for me. _She'll_ think you're perfect for me!" _And she'll think you're_ hot.

"What if she doesn't think I'm perfect for you?"

I frowned. How could anyone in their right mind not think he's perfect? He's fun, he's sweet and he's _seriously_ HOT. But I figured maybe it's important to guys. "Oh my God, why wouldn't she?"

"Let's say she doesn't approve—for whatever reason—would you still want to be with me?"

I grinned and pulled him into an embrace. "Yes!"

He pulled away again. "Are you sure?"

I pecked his cheek. "I'm sure I'm sure!"

He wrapped his arms around me and gave me one explosive kiss after another.

I ran my hand over his body. His skin was so smooth. His shoulders and arms were curved in all the right places. He felt incredible.

His finger pulled on the belt loop of my pants. He pulled my body toward his, all the while kissing me. Sweating. Panting. He was at least as nervous as I was, if not more.

He felt like a dream. I could hardly believe I was there with him.

But our fun ended abruptly. Because he suddenly gasped, "Holy shit! What time is it?"

He reached and hit the button to turn on his radio. We stared at the red digital numbers in horror. It was 11:18.

I scrambled to get him off me, then moved into my seat. He sat up in his and buckled his seatbelt.

I reached into the backseat for my coat. I dug into the pocket for the cell phone. Four missed calls—and I was afraid to listen to even one of them!

"I need to get home. Fast!"

He backed the Jeep up with a jolt. "If I hurry, we might make it in half an hour." He turned out of the lodge parking area and rushed toward the highway. "Man, how the hell did it get so late? Your dad is going to kill me!"

He stomped the gas, spinning rubber on ice. He sped up to pass a few cars. If I wasn't so worried about Dad killing me, I would've worried about _Luke_ killing me instead.

I wanted to ask him to slow down, but if he did, I'd be even later, and probably dead anyway.

At 11:50 we pulled into the driveway. Dad appeared just as we exited the car. His glare could freeze hell over. "Where were you? I was on the phone with the police!" He hung up the cordless and stomped back inside. We followed him in.

I stood in the foyer, scared stiff. I wanted to apologize, but I knew it wouldn't matter and I was too scared to even open my mouth.

"It's my fault, Mr. Morrison, we were skiing and lost track of time. We went on a more difficult trail."

Dad pointed to me. "Did she get that _hickey_ on the trail?"

Luke gawked at my neck. I hoped Dad wouldn't ask about the one on Luke's.

Luke looked at my father, obviously short of words. "I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again. I swear... never...." He crept back, closer to the door.

"Dad, he's telling the truth," I lied.

" _You_ are grounded for a week! After that, I want you home at eight o'clock every night!" Dad turned his finger to Luke. "And if this happens again, you will not be allowed within a hundred yards of my daughter!" Dad looked at me like he barely knew me and motioned toward the stairs with the cordless. "Get in bed!"

I glanced at Luke and hurried upstairs.

Dad spoke quietly. I sat at the top of the stairs and struggled to hear for exactly seven minutes. Then Luke said "Good night, sir," and left.

I got to my feet before Dad could see me and hurried into my bedroom, in tears. How would I manage a full week without him? I knew I couldn't.

~~~

My missed phone calls:

_6:43 p.m._ _It's me, Lilly. What's up with this, no one I call ever answers anymore! Just wanted to let you know the beach is great, almost as great as the mall! I wish you could see it. Met a really cute guy from Orlando today, his name's Jason Steinbeck. I highly doubt I'll ever see him again, though, because he vanished after he went for a dive—either he really wanted to get away from me or he was eaten by a shark. I'm bothered! In any case, call me! It's been forever! Need gossip! The number at the hotel is with your dad, I called your house earlier. You seriously have to tell me about that guy you met, you're killing me!_

_8:33 p.m._ _Adonia and Luke, sitting in a tree ..._

k-i-s-s-i-n-g—!

Sullivan acting nine. I deleted the rest.

_10:10 p.m._ _Adonia, this is Dad. Your curfew passed. Call me, young lady. We need to talk._

_11:03 p.m._ _You know who this is. If you don't get home right now, you will be grounded until the day you leave for college. Do you understand me? You've better study hard to make sure that day comes so you won't be grounded for the rest of your life! Come home the instant you get this, this is not a joke!_

# VI

I didn't wake up until almost noon, when Dad knocked on my door. "Adonia, you have a phone call."

I put on my bathrobe, opened the door and hurried downstairs.

Dad sat at the kitchen table in a green tee shirt and his striped pajama pants. He was accompanied by his coffee, a pastry, his notebook and laptop. I picked up the black cordless on the counter. "Hello?"

"Oh, good, you're still alive! What's up with your cell? I've been calling you." It was Lilly. I listened to her message after midnight, but I couldn't call her at four a.m. on the east coast.

"Sorry, I've been really busy with school and stuff," I uttered, turning to see if Dad was looking. He sipped some coffee, set the large navy mug on the table and kept typing.

"I wanted to find out about this guy you met. So what's the deal? What's he like?"

I eyed Dad again, unsure how to ask if she could call my cell—I didn't want Dad wondering what the conversation was about or anything. He eyed me the next time he paused for coffee. I turned away. _"Hot?"_ I said, like I was talking about the weather.

"You already said that! Looks, please, tell me about the looks."

I looked over my shoulder again. Dad glanced back at me, his chin resting on his knuckles. He was most definitely listening. Since I was on a cordless, I decided to head upstairs, but as soon as I took a few steps he said, "It's okay, sweetie, stay down here. You're not interrupting me, I'm just editing."

I sighed. "It's _hot_?" I hinted into the phone.

She was silent for a moment. "Are you grounded? You're acting weird."

"Absolutely," I said.

"Ouch!" She grew quiet for a second. Then she said, "Okay, I'll ask, you answer. And after that you've got to tell me how you got grounded! Hair color?"

My eyes moved toward Dad again. "Yellow."

"Eye color?"

"Blue."

"Height?"

I pretended he was right next to me. I guess my head came up to his chin. "Considerable," I said.

"What got you grounded?"

I didn't say anything for a minute, but I finally decided it was probably safe to talk about parts of that story. "Came home late."

"How late?" Turns out we were playing twenty questions.

"Midnight."

"You came home late with _him_?"

"Yeah."

"After doing what?" She giggled. "You haven't done anything too major in my absence, I hope."

"No." I cleared my throat and changed the subject. "How's the beach?"

"Nice. I kinda miss school, though. Plus, my brother hasn't taken my calls since the day I left! What good is a cell phone if you don't answer it?"

"Maybe he's busy," I said. My eyes met Dad's when I turned around to check on him. "I have to go now," I mumbled. "Call me _soon_ , okay?" And by that I hoped she knew I meant "Call my cell."

I hung up and turned to Dad. He looked like he just noticed me or something. "Are you ready for breakfast? There's some bacon still in the frying pan, and more eggs in the fridge."

I walked out of the kitchen. "I'm not hungry, Dad."

# VII

"I wanna see you after school," Luke pressed at my locker Monday morning. He towered over me, his math book in one hand, his other above my head, supporting his weight on the locker.

I bit my lip in temptation, but unfortunately had to remind him that, "I'm grounded!"

He sighed. "Then cut creative writing with me."

I gave him a look, but he had the sweetest puppy eyes I'd ever seen. I've never cut class before, and I _couldn't_ start now, my senior year!

"Please?" He leaned in and planted a kiss on my forehead. "I want to spend time with you. If you're afraid we'll get caught someplace, we'll just sit and talk in my Jeep, I don't care."

I sighed. "Fine. But just this once, okay?"

He inched down and kissed me. "Meet me by my locker before class." He winked and left.

I watched him walk away. He was too hot to handle.

It was time for home economics. To my surprise, Tom sat quietly in his seat while Jenna tried to conceal running mascara in a mirror—she looked like crap. Oddly enough, the period did not start out with them bothering me.

I reached on the floor for a pen I intentionally dropped. For a brief second, my eyes brushed Jenna's. Then she looked away and sniffled, wiping her nose with the orange sleeve of her sweater. That's kind of gross. I turned away.

"Today we will learn some uses for flour," Ms. Sanderson said as she slapped her pointing stick on the board. "I expect every person in the room to participate by providing me with one example of something that is made with flour." She stopped, leaned forward to see clearer, and pointed. "Thomas?"

Tom stood up to speak. "You can make bombs with flour." He sat back down.

Everyone laughed, but Ms. Sanderson was not amused. "This is serious, Mr. Belling." Then she pulled out a twenty ounce container of flour and began passing it around as a visual aid. _Who needs a visual aid for_ flour _?_

Ninety more minutes of this? The day needed to end!

~~~

Tom didn't throw a volleyball in my face in gym, and Jake was sluggish, not even interested in soccer. _I_ was more enthusiastic than he was— _what_ was going on?

Not that I'm complaining....

At lunch, Jake, Tom, and Tristan stared from the next table over. Anna and I glanced back at them. I picked at my lunch. She stuffed her face and studied physics.

As soon as Luke sat down he said something, but I couldn't hear him over all the noise. He looked at me as if waiting for an answer, but I just shook my head.

"What are they looking at!" He elevated his voice so I could hear him.

"I have no idea! They've been acting weird all day!"

"Jenna!" Luke pointed out Jenna three tables down. She sat with a bunch of girls I'd never seen before and a giggly girl who was not old enough to even eat in our cafeteria. She was picking at her mac and cheese. "We're doing it after third period, right?!" Luke asked.

Anna gaped at me.

I shook my head at her. "Don't worry, he doesn't mean that!"

I laughed and looked at him. He wore a cute grin. "Sure!" I told him, accidentally catching Jake's eye. Jake looked like he was disgusted by us or something.

Luke got up, tossed his lunch, and signaled for the doors. I gave Anna a reassuring look, dumped my lunch and followed him. That cafeteria is impossible to eat in—it smells like spoiled milk and soggy pizza, even when that nasty school pizza's not on the menu.

He was leaning on the yellow lockers when I next saw him. His head was tilted, his hair hung down, his eyes glowed, his teeth sparkled. He wore a silver muscle shirt that complemented his eyes.

"Hey," he breathed. We looked around the empty hallway, then back at each other. "It's crazy even trying to think in there," he uttered.

"I know. It's strange how sometimes there's so little noise, and other times it could pop your eardrums."

He nodded and looked at the floor. When our eyes met again, he smiled.

_He is_ way _too quiet!_ I'd had a bad experience in which a certain horny toad dumped me in the past, and he was quiet before he did it. But Luke just looked sad, like everyone else.

Is misery contagious?

"What's wrong?" I asked. "You're quiet."

He rubbed his sneaker on the floor, making those annoying squeaks and little wax marks. "Did you hear about that Halloween party?"

"Yeah..." I suddenly felt woozy.

He took a deep breath. "Wanna go with me?"

"Yeah!"

He nodded and smirked. "What about the prom?"

I laughed, relieved. "Will I go with you?" I mumbled, asking his next question for him.

He grinned. "I don't know, will you?"

I threw my arms around his neck. He kissed the top of my head. "I will," I said, never more certain of anything in my entire life.

Hopefully Lilly would call soon. She's never in her hotel room, so _I_ couldn't call _her_. I had to tell her I'd found him—the one that completes me.

This is sort of big.

I couldn't believe I was looking forward to cutting my favorite class just to be with him! That says a lot!

~~~

"Hey Beautiful," Luke breathed at his locker after third period. "Wanna go eat something that's not cafeteria barf?"

I laughed at his vivid description. "I'd love to!"

"Adonia!" Jake waved at me from a few yards away. "Can we talk next period? I need to ask you something."

Luke and I exchanged looks. I glanced Jake's way and said, "Yeah, later." Once he left and the halls were empty, Luke snuck me out the back entrance.

We crept over to his Jeep, keeping a low profile, watchful for security. He cranked the engine. We whizzed by the stop sign and onto the main road, my heart pounding from start to finish. I'm _such_ a goody two-shoes!

I glanced out the rear windshield. I didn't see school security—we had to be in the clear.

At the McDonald's drive-thru we ordered Big Macs, large fries to share, strawberry milkshakes and two apple pies. Then he parked, cut the engine, and we started eating.

"Beats school food," Luke said. "We should come here for lunch."

I nodded, arranging my lettuce on the hamburger. "I watch what I eat, though."

Luke laughed. "Oh, you're not on a diet, are you? Diet-obsessed girls are a bit nutty. They eat like, celery for breakfast, a grain of rice for lunch, and drink water for dinner." He laughed. Then he stopped and looked at me like he expected an answer.

"No, I'm not on any nutty diets."

He nodded. "Burgers aren't so bad."

"But they're fatty..."

He shrugged and swallowed up half his burger. "So are a bunch of other foods. Like ice cream or peanut butter. I'm sure if you make an effort they're all relatively easy to burn off..." He stopped chewing and looked at me. I giggled and looked away.

He swallowed and cleared his throat. "In any case, you've got a perfect figure. You don't need to diet."

I ate some fries and had a mouthful of shake. "Thanks. You too!"

He grinned, staring out the windshield. His cheeks were getting rosy. He drank most of his milkshake before he started talking again.

I inhaled a few fries. It wasn't my appetite, it was probably guilt—I was supposed to be in class, turning in my assignment to Mr. Tweezer.

Mr. Tweezer is a cutie, despite his awful last name. His first name is Tim, so people call him Tim the Tweezer. But he really isn't shaped like a tweezer—he is dark haired, Sicilian, and _built_ —he coaches the wrestling team.

I'm not a fan of wrestling, because guys shouldn't roll around on the floor, ruin their noses and mingle in their own sweat. Plus, did you ever feel a wrestling mat? It's all sticky and it smells like feet! That is so totally gross! I can't imagine rolling around half-naked on that thing. How can guys stand it?

"Sorry about the other night," Luke said. "I didn't mean to get you in trouble with your dad."

I gave him the rest of the fries and sucked on the straw, nearly choking on a huge chunk of strawberry. "My dad's a bit overprotective."

He sunk back into his seat. "I guess if I had a daughter I would be too."

"Do you want kids?" I asked.

"Why, how many do you wanna give me?" He grinned as I laughed. My cheeks flushed. "Don't know yet, Beautiful."

"Are you going to college?"

"If I am, I'm not going right out of high school. I'm training for the Olympics, actually."

And to think I've never cared much for the Olympics, either!

"And while I train for the Olympics, I'm going to be a ski instructor. I love skiing. I'm always skiing when I'm not in school or ... with you." He grinned. "That's my life, now—skis and pretty girls."

"Your skiing is great. And I think it's awesome that you skied in the Alps."

"You should come next time I go. Unless, that is, you have something you're doing after high school?"

I whimpered, not so thrilled to be back on the subject of me. "My parents expect me to go to college, but I don't know what to do. I'm so undecided, it's pathetic!" I turned my body to face him. "My friend Lilly, her parents are putting absolutely no pressure on her about it. When she graduates, she could go to the beach every day for the rest of her life and they won't care."

He looked away for a second. "Maybe her parents know she needs to decide what she wants, and they really have no say in it." He looked at me. "Maybe you need to stop stressing about what they want and think about what you want."

He's right. I don't know what _I_ want, just what Mom and Dad do. But the only thing I truly wanted just then, was to be with him and not grounded.

He shook my arm. "You okay?"

I snapped out it. "I'm fine." We kissed again. It got fierce and I loved it. This time I wasn't nervous. He smelled so incredibly good.

Why did Dad have to work at home? Why!

~~~

We made out in his Jeep until three. Then he dropped me off a block from my house and I walked home.

I crept up to my bedroom, not seeing Dad anywhere. Apparently there _were_ people who were expecting me home: Jake and Sullivan.

"What are you two doing in my room?" I demanded.

Sullivan tucked his hair behind his ears and crossed his arms. He wore a torn up black tee shirt with a faded rock band logo on it. He's even more annoying when he gets all defensive like an eight-year-old. "It was Jake's idea. He wanted to wait for you. I thought he wanted to help me with the next level in the game, but apparently he's just here for you. I was just making sure he stays out of your stuff in here! You're welcome." He stormed out of my room, slammed his door, and blasted his music.

Jake sat on the edge of my bed. He wore all black, his eyes were red and narrowed. I also thought I smelled an ashtray.

"Well?" I asked like I had better things to do, which I did.

"You weren't there."

Of course I pretended I had no idea what he was talking about. "Wasn't _where_?"

"In _class_." He crossed his arms. "So where were you?"

I crossed my arms too. "And how is that your business?"

"Are you sleeping with that guy? He's a really bad influence on you, getting you to cut class with him!"

Well that was quite an assumption! I shook my head in disbelief and looked away. I was not about to be lectured by my persistently horny ex-boyfriend! Seriously, who does he think he is! "Get out of my room! That is none of your business!"

He looked hurt. "I'm asking because I care about you."

I laughed maliciously. "Oh, yeah, is that why you _dumped me,_ for not giving in to your constant nagging? And _he's_ the bad influence?"

Jake scowled. "Well, Adonia, it seems you have no problem giving in to him, huh?"

I opened the door to show him out. "Like I said, that's none of your business! You dumped me and now I found someone who respects me and you can't stand it! You're an asshole, Jake. _Get out of my room!_ "

He walked out and turned to face me. "Well, since you _cut class_ , I guess I should ask you what I was going to ask in class!"

I checked the hall, hoping no one heard that.

"I want to know why you're spending time with this creep, he even got you grounded! Then I want to know why you flat out ignore me at school!"

I laughed. "Your best friend slammed a volleyball in my face! Your girlfriend gives me dirty looks, and you do nothing about either, why should _I_ be nice to _you_? Wow, the nerve of you!"

He narrowed his eyes. "I can't control other people!"

I could not believe he was accusing _me_ of being rude! "Whatever! Look, we used to go out, and people who've dated can never be friends anyway, so let's not!"

"Fine. Don't expect me to keep your little secrets, though, because I won't. And by the way, Jenna's not my girlfriend anymore, so don't call her that!"

"I guess she figured out even _she's_ got standards!"

"If I see that blond prick touching you again, I swear to God I'm gonna smash his skull!"

I chuckled. Apparently I've mastered the art of pissing him off. "Yeah, okay, he'll just crush you! Did you see his arms?"

"I'm sure you got a better look than I did." He headed down the stairs, cursing and beating the wall on the way down, and slammed the front door behind him.

Since Sullivan wouldn't hear a knock over his music anyway, I just walked in.

"Hey! What are you doing in my room!" he hollered. He turned down his stereo.

I sighed. That crap was making my head throb! "Look at how filthy this place is! Why would I be in here if I didn't need to be?"

He threw his Wii controller at the television. "Okay, _what_?"

"Why do you keep inviting Jake over?"

"I won't anymore! I thought before today that he really liked video games, but he's just here to see you!"

I crossed my arms. "He's a total jerk, why invite him at all? Duh!"

"Well, I just said I'd stop! _Duh!_ "

I changed the subject. "Where's Dad?"

"Buying dinner. And he said you can't go out, because you're grounded!"

"I'm aware of that, thank you!" I slammed his door behind me and headed to my room. I changed out of my school clothes and threw myself on my bed, intent on finishing _Life of Pi_. But I couldn't focus this time, either.

I want Lilly to come home—everything will be so much better with her around.

# VIII

In creative writing, Tweezer took attendance and gave the writing prompt. "In one page or less, write about the most embarrassing moment of your life."

_I was expected to do that in_ one _page?_

"Ms. Morrison, Mr. Pawlak...?" Tweezer said afterwards. "Is it a coincidence, or did the two of you miss the same classes while not being marked absent for the school day on both Monday and Wednesday?"

_I know, so much for cutting just_ once.

Luke and I exchanged looks.

Jake smirked. _Asshole!_

And so, I was awarded the first two pink slips of my high school career, and we were sent to the principal's office. Three pink slips equaled detention, so I knew the cutting of classes had to stop. Unfortunately.

We sat in the waiting room outside Dr. Lang's office, listening to his overweight secretary hum a song and type up a storm on her computer.

Mom stood before us twenty minutes later. Luke looked perplexed from his chair a few feet away. God, her skin was completely fried! Along with her sunburn, she wore a thick black coat. It looked ridiculous. Her blond hair hung to the same length as her dreamcatcher earrings, just above the shoulder.

She didn't act like someone who'd been away for months. In fact, she didn't even say _hi_. "I want your side of the story," she demanded, raising a mostly drawn-in eyebrow.

I sighed, kind of relieved she wasn't Dad. If she were, I'd never hear the end of it. I pointed to Luke, who was still staring at her. "This is Luke, my boyfriend. Dad grounded me for a week for missing my curfew last Saturday. Cafeteria food is nasty and we wanted to have some lunch, so we cut two classes."

Her expression was blank. She has glasses that adjust to the light in the room, and the lenses were tan, so I couldn't read her eyes.

After a minute, she turned to Luke. "Do you need a ride?"

Luke looked stunned. "I drive."

"Well, if it's okay with your folks, I'd like you to meet us at our house. The three of us need to talk." She grabbed my jacket off the seat to my left and thanked Dr. Lang and Mr. Tweezer for turning us in.

A minute later we were in Mom's Jeep. She did not say a peep until we reached our driveway and Luke parked behind us. Dad's Dodge Stratus was not in the driveway, or the empty detached garage.

She got out of the Jeep and staggered up the steps to the front door. Once she unlocked it, we followed her in. Luke looked nervous. I was scared. But Dad would've been worse—had to keep that in mind.

We sat at the kitchen table. The time on the microwave read 2:35. No Sullivan for an hour.

"I'm Mary, Adonia's mother." She shook Luke's hand. He looked like he was wondering why she had to mention being my mother. "How old are you, Luke?"

"I'm eighteen in December."

"Are you new here? I haven't seen you before."

"I am."

Mom eyed me. "And you two are dating?"

We nodded. I already told her that, too. She's treating us like anthropological test subjects.

"And Dad met him?"

I nodded again.

She looked at him. "Do you two use protection?"

My eyes widened. _In horror._

When I finally got the courage to look at him, I could see Luke was staggered. And speechless.

"Mom! We haven't done that!"

She took off her high-heel boots. "Well when you do, that's one thing to keep in mind. Luke, would you like some coffee?"

Luke's glance shifted from me to her. "Um, yes Mrs. Morrison."

"You can call me Mary."

"Yes, Mary."

She began brewing.

"Mom? I'm not supposed to be seeing him," I disclosed. Just in case Dad got home.

"Well, your father has to understand that punishing you will not prevent you from seeing Luke. God knows that kind of punishment never worked on me at your age!"

I wondered what Mom did that was so bad at my age. Did she even know Dad back then? "How will _you_ punish me?"

"I'm not home enough to punish you. And don't you worry about your dad, I'll talk to him."

Luke smiled and blew me a kiss when she wasn't looking. I wondered how much trouble he was in with _his_ mother.

Wobbly on her feet, Mom nearly dropped the coffee and cookies. We each got our cream and sugar, though Mom always has her coffee black. "So how's school?" she asked, wiping her forehead with a wet cloth.

"Good," we answered.

"I'll tell you, I'm beat! The soles of my feet are blistered from scorching hot sand seeping into my shoes." Mom's got perfect table manners—it's rather annoying. "I don't know how those people survive in that weather, it's amazing."

Then she fell silent.

"So, I've heard a lot of wonderful things about you, Mrs. Morrison..." Luke said after a few minutes.

I wonder what wonderful things he's heard.

"Mary," my mother insisted.

"Mary ... do you travel the world, or just to certain places?"

"Mostly interior Australia, Luke. Although I've also done research in Africa and Siberia." She took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes. "Sorry, I arrived home around noon and it was a long flight. I'm going to go get changed, and I'll be right back." She got up and limped toward the stairs.

Once she was out of ears' range, Luke hissed, "She's okay with you having _sex_?"

"She doesn't really believe in punishment, or preventing the inevitable," I blurted. Then I felt awkward. _Is our having sex_ inevitable?

I wondered if he wondered, too.

After a thoughtful moment, he said, "Well, she's cool."

My hand shook as I picked up my mug to sip my overly-sweetened coffee. "She's a free soul. It's a work requirement, I guess."

I chuckled when his foot nudged mine. I nudged his back.

That's when Dad walked in. Instantly, our feet parted.

Dad looked at Luke and did a double take. His eyes widened. Immediately, he asked where Mom was, and I pointed up.

She came down just then, in sweat pants and a large tee shirt. She kissed him on the cheek and asked how the book was going, as if we weren't there at all. Dad glared at us. "What's going on here?"

"Well, I picked Adonia up from school. Told Luke he can join us for dinner, if he wants to. I'm not home very often and I wanted to meet him." She passed by Dad with a limp and began looking in the cupboards. "How about staying, Luke?"

Luke cleared his throat. "Sure, if Mr. Morrison's all right with it."

Dad stood in the center of the kitchen, holding groceries in a paper bag. He groaned and shook his head. "Mary, why did you have to pick Adonia up from school? You just got back, you should be resting. She could've taken the bus."

Mom dug pots and pans out of the cabinets and tiptoed by him to the fridge. "I picked her up because she's my daughter and I wanted to see her. Now put those away and start peeling some potatoes, will you?" She looked at me. "Why don't you show Luke around the house?"

"Now wait a minute," Dad said, pointing at me. "She's still punished. He kept her out until nearly midnight, Mary."

Mom turned to him and crossed her arms. "She's had five days of punishment. I'm home for a week and I'd like to have a good time. Leave punishment at that."

"It won't happen again, Dad," I assured him. Luke nodded in agreement.

Dad sighed. There was a lot of tension in the room, I could feel it all. Dad's glares made me cringe. But he finally uttered, "Fine. Show Luke around the living room." He looked at me sternly. " _Just_ the living room."

We left my parents in the kitchen and headed for the living room.

"So," I started after an awkward moment, "this is our couch," I said with a hand gesture, "our coffee table ... and our television."

Luke laughed. "Got it! Thanks!"

We spent the next two hours on the couch, watching a corny rental Sullivan picked up on the way home—a "scary movie" called _Kill Me_ that wasn't even scary. It's about a dumb blonde who looks up serial killers in police databases and mails them letters daring them to kill her. The story's stupid and the acting was atrocious.

Dinner was at six. Mom made mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey drumsticks, salad, and cranberry sauce. I assumed from the meal Mom would not be home for Thanksgiving, which really sucked. But she promised she'd be home this Christmas, so I'm hoping she'll stick to her promise this year.

Luke sat across from me—between Dad and Sullivan—and Mom sat to my left, next to Dad. We ate in silence for a while. Sullivan probably would've talked, but I gave him a killer look every so often, to keep his trap shut.

"So Luke," Mom finally said, "where are you going to college?"

Luke swallowed his salad. "I'm not going to college right after I graduate."

Dad shot Mom a look and dug into his mashed potatoes.

"So what will you do?" Mom asked.

"I'm training for the Olympics. I want to be a professional alpine skier."

Dad grimaced. "How close to Olympics material _are_ you?"

Luke cleared his throat. "Pretty close. I've won several national awards, and beat a record for the longest U.S. ski jump last year. It was a trip, and it won me ten grand. But alpine skiing is my passion, not jumping."

My parents swapped looks. Neither of them really knew what he was talking about.

"How long was the jump?" Dad pried, and began devouring his turkey leg.

"Ninety meters," Luke said. "Just under three hundred feet."

"So while you're training, what will you do for a steady paycheck, Luke?" Mom wiped her mouth and sat up straight again, as she was slouching about a centimeter. It's cool that Mom lets us talk at the dinner table now; a few years back, when she was around more, we had to eat in utter silence. I guess we have to talk at the table now or she'd be oblivious about what is going on in our house.

"I plan to be a ski instructor," Luke replied.

More silence.

Luke and I exchanged looks. I didn't want to ask any cheesy questions I already knew the answers to just to get a conversation going—what would my parents possibly be interested in hearing, anyway?

"How's Lilly?" Mom suddenly asked.

"She's in Florida. She's never in her hotel room, so I wouldn't really know," I said.

Luke rubbed his forehead. He suddenly looked flushed.

"That must be a nice switch from _this_ weather. Not too hot, either. Didn't you say on the phone her brother was moving in with her? Or something like that. Remember, about two weeks or so ago?" Mom took another bite of salad and dabbed her mouth with the napkin.

I nodded. "He did, though I haven't met him."

I looked at Luke. "Luke, are you okay?"

"Excuse me," he wheezed, and rushed off, presumably to the bathroom.

"What's going on with him?" Dad pondered.

"Maybe he's got diarrhea," Sullivan suggested. He and Dad laughed hysterically.

Mom and I shot them looks, and she gestured for me to go after him.

The bathroom is on the other side of the house. I knocked on the door. "Luke? Are you all right in there?"

No answer for a few seconds. Then he said, "I guess." A few moments passed and he opened the door. His eyes were wet. Had he been _crying_? He's really manly, so it's hard to imagine, although if he _did_ , I like a sensitive guy every now and then!

I squeezed his hand. "You're not gonna die on me, are you?"

He chuckled. "Nah, I'm just dehydrated, I felt sick. Washed my face."

I smiled weakly. "Oh."

"I didn't vomit or anything," he assured me, looking concerned.

I laughed. "I wouldn't tell Mom if you did. Do you want to come back to the table?"

"Yeah."

Once in our seats again, Mom offered him some water. He ate slowly, smiling every time our eyes met. I thought maybe it's not dehydration—that maybe he didn't like Mom's cooking—but that seemed unlikely, as he wasn't making any funny faces.

Mom placed a plate of apple pie before each of us. "I hope you like it," she told Luke. "You have excellent table manners, by the way."

Luke smiled. "Thank you, Mary."

Dad shot him a look. Mom kicked him under the table—Dad's grunt was a giveaway. Plus, her face lit up like a light bulb—I guess she forgot she wasn't supposed to kick with those feet!

"You're an amazing chef," Luke said to Mom. "Best pie I've tasted!"

"Thanks, Luke! It's actually store bought."

Dad chuckled.

"You know, Luke," Mom said, "since you're going to be a ski instructor, perhaps you can give Paul some lessons? He's always wanted to learn."

She looked at my Dad. "Isn't that right, dear?"

"I don't want lessons," Dad grumbled. He put his hands up at Luke. "Really, Luke, it's okay."

Mom insisted, wiping her mouth after each teaspoonful. Then she scorned Sullivan for his posture.

I wondered if the Aborigines ate at dinner tables. If not, how did she survive with them for months at a time? "Really, Luke, would you mind? Perhaps you can all go after school tomorrow?"

"Sure, I'd love to teach you how to ski, Mr. Morrison."

Dad shook his head. "No, please, Luke ... Mary, no, there's a draft due in at the publisher's, and I've the guest speech to prepare ... No, I can't, but thanks, Luke." He glared at Mom and stabbed his pie crust.

"Adonia, did you like skiing with Luke last week? Maybe the two of you should go again. I'd love to come, but it's not a good idea with my feet this sore."

I beamed and nodded. Me and Luke alone again!

"You know what, what the hell, I'll go!" Dad blurted. "I'll learn, okay?" He wiped his mouth and briefly smiled at us before he excused himself, dumped the dishes in the sink, grabbed the _Writer's Digest_ off the counter and headed for the living room.

Luke smiled at me. I wasn't thrilled about Dad coming with us, but it's not like we had a choice.

"Can I go?" Sullivan asked.

I groaned. I did _not_ want to spend my entire evening around _him_ , too.

"That depends," Mom said.

Sullivan raised an eyebrow. "That depends on what?"

"Well," Mom said, "your room's better be sparkling clean before you leave this house."

She looked at Luke and smiled, brushing Sullivan aside. "Well, it was great having you over, Luke."

Luke nodded. "Thanks for inviting me. Everything was great."

"My pleasure," she said, picking up our plates and tip-toeing to the dishwasher. I felt really bad about her heels; I could practically feel how they stung by the way she whimpered under her breath every time her toes grew weak and her sole hit the floor.

"I would love to meet your mother, by the way," Mom added. "I do hope you'll have her call me this week!"

Luke took a breath. "Oh, sure. I'll see what I can do." Then he winked my way.

I didn't want him to leave. If Mom was just cool enough to let him move in ... Hah! Fat chance!

Dad would go haywire.

# IX

We spent three hours on the beginner slopes in the afternoon. It grew dark before Dad grew tired. Thankfully it was just the three of us, since it's against Sullivan's religion to clean his room.

As it turns out, Dad's an even more pathetic skier than I was my first time. Dad couldn't stop to save his life. He bent his knees and sped downhill, losing balance and crashing every time.

"You're bending your knees too much," Luke reminded him for the millionth time. "That can make you speed up, not slow down, especially on steeper ski trails, where you pick up speed faster." He looked at me and added, "Most times, anyway."

Dad was all bundled up in snow goggles and a snowsuit, looking like a blue crayon. It was so embarrassing to see him on top of that pathetic little hill, as we waited for him at the bottom.

He took off downhill, his feet pointing in slightly to go slowly. But his knees still bent, and he had no clue how to use his poles. He just waved them around, tangled his skis up and fell to a stop.

I was mortified. Luke showed just a hint of annoyance as he watched Dad come tumbling down, _again_. "You all right there, Mr. Morrison?"

It's cute how patient Luke is—Dad's made that mistake so many times _I_ was tempted to tear his skis away and send him home myself!

Dad stopped at Luke's feet and wiggled around, trying to untangle his skis. He looked pitiful. Luke offered his hand, but Dad just squirmed in the snow, trying to get up by himself. "I'm fine," he hissed through his teeth.

"You did better that time, Mr. Morrison," Luke totally lied. "Do you want to give it another go?"

I groaned. I didn't think I could _take_ another go! We'd been there all afternoon, and the sun had already set.

Dad got to his feet and shook off the snow that covered him. He mumbled as he got back on the lift behind a school of ten-year-olds and their ski instructor.

I heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry you had to spend your afternoon like this."

Luke laughed. "I've done worse."

"You're going to be a great ski instructor!"

"I guess. Although your dad doesn't find me very helpful."

"Trust me, it's _not_ you." Dad can be stubborn.

Dad was once again at the top of the hill. His knees were bent, his poles in the air. He took off well, but then he lost his balance, tumbled, and fell toward us, _again_.

Once again Luke asked if he was all right. Once again Dad got up and grumbled.

"I'm going to the restroom," Luke informed us, pointing to the lodge. "I'll meet you here?"

Dad looked away, so I answered. "Sure."

When Luke was out of ears' range, Dad asked, "Why do you like that boy?"

_What's there not to like!_ "He's great," I said. "One of the nicest guys I've met."

"I don't know ... he seems after something." He gave me a look, and I knew what he meant.

"He's not, Dad. You're just saying that because you're my dad."

"I was his age once. And he's going to be an Olympic skier? Is that a realistic career path? I mean, who _does_ that?" Dad said with a sneer.

"It's what he loves doing," I said hesitantly. "I think that's good...."

Dad sighed. "Well, it is good, but not so realistic when you're seventeen. Or any age, really."

I wanted to tell him that I liked Luke, and that it would be best for me if he did, too. But I didn't. I was afraid to. I know I should stand up for what I believe in, but Dad didn't seem in the mood to be lectured by his daughter. He's never in that mood.

Luke marched back before long, sinking in the snow every now and then. He stopped before us and we all lingered in silence for a minute.

"I'm going into the lodge. I'm through for the day," Dad said, staring Luke down through those ridiculous blue goggles.

"Can Luke and I ski?" I asked desperately.

Dad looked at me. "Yeah, why don't you two hit the trail once or twice? I'll watch from behind those big windows," he said, pointing to the lodge. "Just be very careful. And independent." Then he started waddling away.

"Which trail?" Luke breathed.

"The expert." I started toward the lift.

"Are you sure?"

I didn't answer, so he followed.

At the top, I felt _very_ independent, although I doubt that's what Dad meant. After watching Dad make a fool out of himself for hours, I felt like a pro!

But skiing was not all we had on our minds. When the last of the skiers headed down, I kissed him. It was flurrying, but the winds were calm, and the moon was huge and yellow. Faded green aurora covered the velvety sky. My body trembled, but I continued to kiss him, my skis stacked on his, his arms wrapped around me and mine around him. He didn't have any dorky snow goggles, of course, and that's a good thing. Because his eyes are mesmerizing.

"I love you," I said. I meant it, too, with all my heart.

Our lips locked again. Each new kiss was deeper than the last. His lips were soft. I felt warm and fuzzy all over. I felt butterflies. "I love you too," he breathed as he nudged my ear.

After a final kiss, he inched my scarf up above my chin. Our foreheads touched. "More than you know," he added.

A silent moment later, he grinned his ear-to-ear and motioned with his eyes toward the lodge. "You don't think your dad saw that, do you?"

I laughed. "Yeah, right! I doubt he can see anything out of those silly goggles!"

Luke chuckled. "Well, we should head down now, before we take unusually long." He winked. "Watch for moose."

# X

Although I ran late in the morning, I still got to my locker in time, where—surely enough—Luke was waiting. He smiled and pointed his index fingers at me. "You're late, Beautiful."

I giggled. "Sorry, I overslept."

"You must have been dreaming about me...."

"How did you guess?"

He laughed, pulled me into his chest, and kissed me, hard enough to take my breath away.

_Best start to my day,_ ever.

I was so into him, I was stunned when he suddenly slammed into me.

I shrieked! My head hit the hinge of the locker door. It felt wet, like bleeding.

Confused, I pushed him away and reached for the back of my head. My ears grew hot. I was about to ask what he did that for, when I realized he didn't.

"What the fuck!" His back faced me, his body tense.

"That's what I was thinking," Jake said.

My eyes couldn't focus. At first I thought I lost a contact, but it started bending with each blink.

"You fucking hurt her!" Luke yelled. He pulled Jake toward him, then shoved him away. Luke trembled.

Jake punched, but missed. In one swift move, Luke caught his collar, swung him around and released, sending Jake flying into the locker directly across from mine.

I was stunned. Even the girls across the hall were impressed—they literally gasped. My boyfriend's got _skill_.

Luke backed away. I approached him. But Tom and Tristan shoved me aside. My face hit the locker and my nose started to bleed.

I burst into tears.

"Fight!" someone screamed, and people flooded the hall. They poured in from outside, in classrooms, and in the connecting halls. "Fight! Fight!" guys chanted and gathered around them in a circle. They each rooted for someone, and I could barely think through all the noise.

I struggled to see beyond layers of people and a bad contact. Unfortunately, rubbing my eyes didn't fix the problem, it just aggravated it. I pushed my way past everyone. Surprisingly, I had no problem getting through.

Jake sat where he'd landed. His head had put a dent in the locker. Blood flowed from his broken nose, streaming down his hand, arm and shirt. What a loser! Starting something and sitting around, letting his jock friend finish the job!

Tom's shorter than Luke, so Luke easily tossed him off. But Tristan's a different story. Tristan kicked him, grabbed him and slammed him around.

And all I could do was watch in horror.

Luke threw a punch, hitting Tristan square in the jaw. Tristan looked stunned as his mouth bled—had he lost a tooth?

In a fury, Tristan got Luke in a headlock.

Luke's face darkened by the second, and was soon deep red. The crowd grew wild.

My breaths stopped. I searched desperately for anyone who could help. No one did anything but cheer.

Tweezer shoved past me, screaming. When he tried to break Tristan's grasp, Tristan turned on him.

In an instant Tweezer screamed, blocking Tristan's punches with his monstrous arms. _And he coaches the_ wrestling _team?_

"He's not allowed to fight back!" some kid screamed, and a bunch of guys tore Tristan away from him.

Seriously, they couldn't do that for my boyfriend as well?

I gripped Luke's arm and pulled him into the crowd, toward my locker. Luke's face was still red, his nose was bloody, and his ear was oozing. I heard Dr. Lang and a few teachers screaming within seconds.

I hugged Luke tight. "Oh my God, I was so scared," I cried.

Luke's arms squeezed me. He kissed the top of my head. His chest still heaved. "It's okay."

The cops were there within minutes, and people began to scatter like roaches. Tristan was arrested, and Dr. Lang began questioning whomever he could find. Hitting a teacher is serious business.

"Jake slammed me into the locker and hurt her, I was just defending us," Luke held tissues under his nose.

Dr. Lang looked up at Luke. "You hit back, so you are partially to blame," he said in his annoying nasal voice.

"Are you kidding me?" Luke howled.

"But," Dr. Lang continued, "since this _won't happen again_ , you'll get a fair punishment for not starting the fight." He pointed to the guidance office at the end of the hall. "Lucky you had a witness, huh?" Dr. Lang raised his bushy gray eyebrows and scratched his bald head. Dr. Lang's even shorter than my dad—it's a good thing _he_ didn't jump into the fight.

Luke looked at me, sighed, and wiped his nose again. The bleeding slowed. He didn't comment, though his face grew red again. I didn't see how he was to blame for anything. I told them what happened, but it changed nothing.

"I'm sorry," I breathed.

Luke shook his head. "Don't be."

Paramedics checked my head and asked if I wanted to go to the hospital for x-rays. I said no, but they said they had to check with my parents. Something about liability.

Apart from the rumor that Tristan was spending the night in jail, I heard during third period he also got expelled. Jake and Tom each got a one week out-of-school suspension.

Some punishment—they start a fight and get a vacation!

Luke got three days in-school suspension effective immediately, and ten stitches on his right ear; though I heard all of them got stitches of some sort.

In creative writing we had a sub, since poor Tweezer got beat in the head. He's a big guy, so I knew he'd be okay.

I didn't feel like writing, so I put my head down. The sub didn't say anything to me.

I know he can be a total jerk sometimes but I couldn't believe Jake was bad enough to plot this! It blew my mind.

And I felt bad for Luke, because it was my fault.

~~~

The paramedics called Dad. I'm sure Dad hates Luke even more now.

Mom picked me up after school, but I didn't care to talk to her about it, or to Dad, or even to Sullivan, who actually had the decency to ask what happened only once and handle getting turned away.

I barricaded myself in my room. My cell phone rang, but I didn't answer it. Because, then at least, I didn't have the voice to talk.

Later I tried Luke's cell, but he didn't answer.

I watched _Titanic_ on my laptop. Not only did I not touch my homework, but I didn't get the door when Dad knocked. I didn't need to hear how disappointed he was, or how bad of an influence he thinks Luke is. _Luke._ The sweetest guy I know. The guy I love so much it hurts.

The image of Luke being chocked would not leave my head. It made my heart race. It made me sick.

I fell asleep before the ship sank. But that's okay. Because I didn't want to see Jack die. Especially when that jerky ex wanted him dead to begin with.

# XI

A tap on my door awoke me at noon. This was one of the few times Dad entered when I didn't answer.

"Adonia, may I come in?"

Why ask after doing it?

My room was dark. I moved the laptop off my bed to make room for him. He sat. I pulled the blanket around myself, cold and miserable.

Dad rested a hand on my shoulder. "No school today?"

That was a given.

"What happened yesterday?" Dad asked.

"Does it matter? I'm just gonna get punished and you're just gonna hate Luke."

"Adonia, I don't hate Luke."

"Dad, you _totally_ hate Luke!"

He looked away for a moment. When our eyes met again, he said, "I hated Jake at first, too."

"I can see why. _I_ hate Jake _now_."

Dad chuckled. Then he grew serious. "Look, I just want to know what happened. I'm not going to punish you. We're worried. Mom and I need to be sure you're okay."

"I didn't do anything. Neither did Luke. Jake attacked him. Then Jake's friends attacked him." Dad listened quietly. "They choked him and hit him and he fought back. Punishing him for defending himself is just crap."

Dad sighed. "Well, fighting is not always the best option."

I wondered why my dad was so passive. I wondered aloud.

"I'm not being passive, Adonia. You saw how it got him in trouble."

I scowled, breathing hard. "He fought because he had to, just like he's trying to be a professional skier because he has to. Why do you have a problem with everything Luke does?"

"I don't," Dad uttered. "I'm just looking out for you, that's all." He got up and walked to the door. "I'm staying out of it this time. I just wanted to make sure you're okay. How's your head?"

I shrugged. It was just a tiny bruise and it only hurt if I pressed on it. It didn't even bleed like I initially thought, not sure what I felt. Dad always made a big deal out of everything.

"Well, rest for as long as you need to. Just try and make it to school tomorrow. And for God's sake, eat something. There's lasagna downstairs."

I rolled my eyes.

He walked out, leaving the door wide open.

I went back to sleep. I didn't want to eat. If I couldn't be with Luke in person, I was going to be with him in my dreams.

~~~

Dad knocked again at 4:05. So I woke up again, and the look I gave him was not the nicest.

"Luke's here," Dad said, and stepped aside.

Luke was beside him, somber.

"I'll give you a few minutes to change. Then you can let him in." Dad nodded and shut the door before I could thank him. I felt kind of bad about my behavior earlier.

I threw on black jeans and a tight tee shirt, I inserted new contacts, brushed my teeth, did a really crappy make-up job—not like he didn't get a glimpse of me anyway—opened the door and invited him in. I didn't shut it because Dad is not _that_ forgiving.

Besides, after a while Dad was walking by my room every two minutes anyway.

Luke sat on my beanbag. I spread myself out on my bed, lying on my stomach, my arms crossed and resting between the comforter and my chin. We faced each other. "I guess it's safe to assume you weren't in school today," he whispered. "Is your head okay?"

"Yeah. How's your ear?"

He turned his head for me to see. The stitches were behind it. There was a long, thin bruise on his hairline on the right side of his head, where he was kicked and elbowed. "Earache still isn't gone, but aside from that I don't have any broken bones. My stepdad insisted on taking me to the hospital after school for x-rays.

"I'm down to just one more day of prison," he joked, the left corner of his mouth lifting. "I guess I'm supposed to be thankful for my 'light' punishment. I have a teacher babysitting me, holding my hand every time I take a piss, while Jake and Tom get to sit in front of the tube all week." He fell silent.

"I'm sorry he hit you. I should've told you. I was forewarned the other day. But I didn't think he'd—"

Luke cut me off. "It's not your fault." Silence. Then he said, "I tried to call."

"I haven't been taking calls. I didn't even get my messages yet. But I tried to call you once, too."

"Well, anyway, at least now I can't say I was never in a fight. You know, when my grandkids want to hear in a hundred years how badass I was."

I chuckled.

He looked around my room and rubbed his socks against the carpet.

"What do you think Jake will do when he comes back to school?"

"Pssst. Nothing. He's a sore loser. I beat him in one slam."

I smiled lightly.

Luke nudged my chin with his finger. "Going to school tomorrow, Beautiful?"

I reached for his hand. He grabbed mine and started rubbing the top of it. "I have to, because I have a math test next Tuesday and I'm way behind."

"Need help studying?"

"Sure ... I guess we could go downstairs. My dad will feel better if we do, anyway."

Dad smiled as he passed by with that coffee mug he pretended to forget in the next room every two minutes.

"Okay," Luke breathed.

Before long we were down at the kitchen table. This time Dad came down for a cup of orange juice every five minutes, for a total of eleven times. I'll bet he had to piss like a racehorse by the time we got out of there.

Eventually logarithms got to me. Stress filled my chest, and was released as tears. Logs are rather confusing, for a mathematical moron like me.

Luke was very patient, but after I burst into tears over a wrong answer, he asked if I wanted ice cream.

Despite it being close to zero degrees out, I couldn't resist. I craved some alone time. Besides, we ran out of Tropicana, and there's no telling what Dad would _pretend_ he needed next.

I put on some decent makeup, including eye shadow and lipstick. We were putting our shoes on when the phone rang. Sullivan ran laps around the house trying to find it. Dad answered it.

"Who's that?" Sullivan nagged, "Is that Megan?"

"Who's Megan?" I wondered aloud.

"My new girlfriend." He waited for Dad, who was at the top of the stairs. "Is that her?"

Dad shook his head no, said something into the phone and hung up. After a second in his office, he came down carrying a stack of notebooks and an empty glass. "Be back by eight."

"Okay, Dad."

Dad eyed Luke and put his finger out, nearly dropping everything. " _Eight._ Please."

"Eight," Luke confirmed.

Dad nodded. "Drive carefully. And zip your coats or you'll get sick." He saw us out and shut the door with his foot.

As we walked to his Jeep, Luke wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me close. He tenderly kissed the top of my head. "I missed you," he breathed. His breath turned to frost on my cheek.

"I missed you, too. So much."

We parted after he unlocked the doors. Inside we sat for a minute, waiting for the engine to warm back up. For the first time, silence was really awkward.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him looking at me, though his eyes seemed aimed a bit low. Was he looking at my chest? When our eyes brushed, I smiled, though he immediately looked out his window.

He put the Jeep in reverse and backed out of the driveway. Then, as if the words _ice cream_ were never spoken, he said, "Wanna go off-road?"

"Aren't we supposed to have more than one truck with us? You know, in case we get stuck?" That's what they do on TV.

He drove with that big grin of his. "We won't get stuck." He's hot _and_ psychic, who would've guessed?

He pulled off the main road, onto an ATV trail that led to God knows where. I gripped the roll cage above my head for emotional support. The problem was it was metal, and it was _cold_.

"Lighten up," he said with a smirk and a wink. "I came out here before. You'll like where we're going." He put his hand on my knee. My breath stopped. "You okay?"

"Just nervous," I uttered, though I don't think he heard me. He removed his hand and lowered his gearing to get over a snow-covered log. Then he pulled on the lever to put the Jeep in four-wheel-drive low.

The snow-filled landscape was so serene. Breathtaking.

We drove through a forest filled with scrawny black spruce as far as the eye can see. Branches slammed against the windshield. It kind of freaked me out, but the windshield's really solid. I couldn't believe he had no problem scratching up a perfectly new black Jeep! But after some huge bumps, I actually felt like I was having fun.

Of course, I was still a worried about getting stuck and missing curfew.

After about half an hour, we came to a clearing. He drove until it seemed there was no land left to drive on. That's because there wasn't—he'd parked us on the edge of a _cliff._

"Oh my God, back up, back up!" I sank my nails into anything and everything at arms-length and pushed back into my seat. I seriously thought the Jeep would slip and roll, crushing us to our deaths. But it didn't go anywhere, it just sat like we were floating.

Luke beamed. "Isn't this cool? I thought you'd like it."

_Like it?_ I was scared stiff. My body wobbled. It wobbled worse when he opened his window and began crawling out like Spiderman! "What are you doing!"

"There's only a foot of earth on my side, so I can't get out through the door."

_So he_ climbs _out?_

Ten seconds later he was on his hood. "There's more than a foot on your side, you can open your door and climb on," he said, patting the hood beside him. "Come on!"

I stared at him. Was he out of his mind? How was I to be certain the cliff would even support the weight of the vehicle?

"It's just an overhang," he assured me. "It's really not so bad. Not too steep, even! Come on!"

I cringed, opened my door and looked down. There was about three feet of space, then the icy ground fell about ten feet. So it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined. But I was terrified anyway.

I stepped out carefully and moved sideways so I could shut the door. Then I crept over to him, holding onto _any_ part of the vehicle for dear life. There were several feet of earth beyond where the front tires rested. But I still worried.

He helped me climb onto the hood. We sat with our boots on the bumper, scanning the landscape. Far in the distance we saw a frozen lake surrounded by an ocean of trees. Two bald eagles screeched overhead, dancing in flight.

"You like it?"

I hate to admit it, but I did. I laughed. "That doesn't mean you're not nuts for doing it!"

"It's kinda like skiing. We've been at a higher altitude than this."

"Not sitting on the hood of or strapped into a car!" I said sarcastically.

"Are you sure this huge chunk of rock won't break off the mountain?" I asked, nervously eyeing the drop.

"It's solid," he promised. "You can't tell from up here, because you can't see it, it's beneath us. You worry too much."

"Well, I don't want to plunge to my death. I can see this thing crumple up like a soda can!"

"You're a drama queen."

I raised my eyebrows. "Hey, I know drama queens, and I'm not that bad!"

He looked dubious. "Really? Like who?"

"My friend Lilly is a major drama queen."

He laughed.

"What?"

"You're a drama queen!"

"No, I swear, my friend's worse than me! Just wait, you'll meet her!"

"You would know," he said. "I just know what I see, and I see the world's hottest drama queen." He smiled seductively, his eyes twinkling.

"Oh yeah, that would be Lilly, too! The world's absolute _hottest_ drama queen!"

He snickered. "Not to me!"

"You'll change your mind when you meet her," I assured him.

He laughed again. "I _highly_ doubt it!"

I rolled my eyes.

Part of me worried this Greek god would up and dump me when he meets my best friend. She'd find him hot—guaranteed.

He took off his coat and jumped to his feet, cupped his hands around his mouth and screamed, "Adonia's the world's hottest drama queen!"

It echoed.

I covered my mouth to contain my laugh. I lightly tugged on his pant leg, not wanting him to lose his balance and slip. "Sit before you fall!"

"I want the world to know!" He grinned down at me. "Besides, I'm not afraid of heights!"

I gave him a look, still nervous.

"But I'll do it for the sake of my hood." He sat himself down again and wrapped his arm around me. "Hey, I still owe you ice cream, don't I?"

I nodded. But I was just growing comfortable. There was nobody else out there—just me and him and maybe Sasquatch—it was kind of romantic. I nuzzled up to him. "We have time, it's nowhere close to eight yet." Though the sun _was_ beginning to set.

He pulled me close. "So you like this, then."

I hate being wrong about stuff. "I like being with you."

He grew quiet. After a minute he said, "If I ask you something, promise you won't slug me?"

I eyed him curiously. If he thought I might slug him, I figured it was probably something bad. "I won't slug you," I promised.

"Okay, I know I haven't known you all that long, but I really, really, _really_ like you."

I thought he said he _loved me_? But I didn't want to sound corny. Or desperate. Or paranoid.

"After we graduate, I'm getting my own place. And I was wondering if you want to move in with me—if we're still together. I'll move wherever you go to college if you want to go, as long as there's snow. I could be an alpine skier anyplace cold."

"Wow, my parents would not approve of me living with you without being married!" I blurted.

And cringed.

"Well, I heard sometimes people get married and find out they can't live together. Like, they don't like the way a person holds a toothbrush or positions the toilet-paper roll." He looked at me briefly. "So you can tell your parents there's time. I mean, we'll have like seventy years...."

I giggled. "I'd like that."

He smiled. "Really?" When I nodded, he kissed me.

Things were really heating up, but he pulled away. "Hey, I wanna show you something, get in."

"It's not a steeper cliff, is it?" I asked stiffly.

He laughed. "No worries!" He crawled across the hood to the passenger side door, dragging his coat behind him. He crept through my door into the driver's seat and waited for me to get in, which took forever.

He held a small velvet jewelry box. "I got this for you this afternoon."

Breathlessly, I took it, dying to see what it was! It was a ring box— _a ring box!_ —and given the conversation we'd just had, and the fact it was _a ring box_ , you know what I was thinking!

I popped it open. And felt my smile vanish. I tried to hide it immediately. My heart sank. "Oh!"

Our eyes met. He looked confused.

I must be confused, too. Or delusional. Or both. Who the hell expects an engagement ring a few weeks into a relationship?

It was a silver necklace with a diamond heart pendant.

I like it—it's pretty and everything—but it's _not_ an engagement ring.

I suppose it's not his fault I'm unrealistic. But my throat began to hurt from the sobs stuck within it. I felt bad that I ended up disappointed about such a sweet gift.

"Do you like it?"

I stared at it like I lacked even basic brain function. I finally whispered, "I love it."

He took it from me, peeled off the sticky tag and fastened it around my neck.

I pecked his cheek.

"You seemed upset for a moment, are you sure you're okay?" He looked concerned.

"I'm fine!" I assured him. _I'm just completely out of touch with reality_.

"Is it something I did? Is it the wrong color?" His voice sounded a bit shaky.

I shook my head no. "Trust me," I blurted, "it's just PMS!"

Then I felt awkward.

He looked out the windshield. "Oh," he uttered, clearly confused.

My head fell into my hands. I am _so_ awkward!

He started the Jeep and backed off the edge of the cliff. We didn't speak for a while, though he looked my way every now and then.

I wondered what he was thinking, until I realized I shouldn't be wondering what _he_ was thinking, I should be wondering what _I_ was thinking. I _think_ I was thinking,

Why do they sell necklaces in ring boxes?!

Again my mind began to wander. I started rethinking my _life_ , like this was an appropriate time, or place. _Why do I have to decide on my life in_ one _school year? And when I kind of decide, why does everyone have a problem with it?_

I heaved a sigh.

I don't get it. Lilly never has these problems. Luke knows what he wants and _he_ doesn't have these problems. Anna is a genius—she could get into Yale with her eyes closed, her ears plugged and her feet tied—so _she_ doesn't have these problems.

Who was I to talk to about this? Dad wouldn't want to hear it. Mom's leaving on Thursday, and she definitely won't hear it. And Mr. Bias ... he'd just nod at that Hawaii poster.

I really needed to get my mind off it all—it was giving me a headache.

Luke didn't look at me. His jacket was spread across the back seat, his arms bulging out of his shirt. He was hot, and seemingly nervous. I felt so bad about my reaction.

I shifted in my seat, mulling things over.

Then, maybe on a whim, I made up my mind. My heart pounded, I could feel it.

He glanced my way, then back at the trail. A moment later, he flashed a flirtatious smile—mind-bogglingly _hot_. "Drama queen," he whispered, making me grin.

Feeling myself tremble, I took a deep breath. "Luke? Stop the car."

~~~

I don't think _he_ even believed it happened! When he got me home at 7:55—five minutes till curfew—he was still kind of shocked. His hair was a disaster, and my lipstick was smeared all over his neck. Did he realize his shirt was on backwards?

God, we were so lucky Dad didn't come out there!

"I love you," he breathed, nudged my cheek, and met my lips. Another breath-stealing kiss. _Like I'm going to want to leave after that!_

I opened the door and peeked back at him. His mouth was hanging. "Um, night...?" he mumbled, and licked his lips.

I giggled at the sight.

In the foyer, I glanced out the window. His Jeep was still there, though I couldn't see him well. I hurried upstairs just as Dad turned the corner.

"Is everything all right?" Dad called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Just great, Dad!" I yelled, trying to hide the quiver in my voice.

I trembled as I dialed the tiny buttons on my cell phone. I'd closed and locked my bedroom door, and turned on the stereo so no one could hear my impending confession.

It was midnight in Florida. I'd wake Lilly. She'd be mad.

Oh well.

I let it ring. Seven times.

Someone sleepy answered.

As if I had a fraction of a second to say it, I demanded, "Is Lilly there?"

"What?" asked an _irritated_ , accented voice.

"This is Mrs. Jacobson?"

"Yes. Who's this?"

"This is Adonia," I said breathlessly. "You know, from Alaska?" _Yeah, 'cause_ Adonia _is_ such _a common name...._

"Hi, honey, how are you?"

"Okay. I need to talk to Lilly, it's important."

"What's wrong?" she asked, in a very motherly, suddenly-awake tone.

"Nothing, nothing," I said instantly. I didn't need her calling my parents. "I just really, _really_ need to speak with her ... about ... school."

I'm a lousy liar.

"She's not back yet," her mother said. "She's up late with her cousin Fay."

I stomped my foot in frustration, shaking the room.

"Honey, are you sure you're okay? You sound shaken up."

"I'm fine. Can you tell her to call my _cell_ as soon as she gets in? It doesn't matter what time. As soon as she can ... call my _cell_."

"I'll do that," she said. "You have a good night, honey."

I hung up.

I knew full well I wasn't going to get a wink of sleep. I needed something to do. I had plenty of unread books on my dresser, but it's not like I could concentrate on anything. He was lurking in my mind!

I was suddenly worried. Don't guys brag? The _whole school_ might know by morning! And Lilly was still not there for me!

That girl seriously needs a new cell phone! She dropped her third phone on ice this past summer, it cracked and her parents are in no rush to get her a new one. I guess after three times I can't blame them.

I was so tempted to call him. But I just stared at my cell, willing it to ring. I couldn't miss Lilly's call. Something _drastic_ had happened—she needed to know, ASAP!

_He's still suspended._ I groaned. I couldn't wait another day to see him! His cologne was all over; the smell was driving me crazy.

# XII

I didn't oversleep, I intentionally walked through the school doors a minute before the warning bell. I took off my coat and tossed it in my locker, looking about nervously. It fell off the damn hook twice! God, I can't even hang a coat! Even with an hour of sleep, a _moron_ should be able to at least manage that!

I guess I was looking for him. Him and others I expected to be talking about it. But to my relief, nobody even noticed me. I grabbed my home economics notebook and slammed my locker shut.

"Adonia!"

I jumped and turned eagerly. It was just Mr. Bias.

"We have an appointment today! Two o'clock, sharp!" He walked toward the guidance office, tapping his watch. "Don't forget!"

I cursed under my breath.

My head hit the locker.

That was a bad idea. Now I had head pain _and_ ear pain. Ear pain because I wore large silver hoop earrings that froze to my earlobes outside. Metal sucks in sub-zero temperatures, especially when it's attached to your body.

Inches from my heart rested the necklace Luke gave me. I hoped it wouldn't be my last memory of him. You know, in case he really was _only after something_ , and well, now he got it.

I headed to class, past hundreds of noisy, whining people. But traffic was stalled. The warning bell rang. I had exactly four minutes.

Someone pulled my ponytail. I kept inching forward. That happened every now and then, it was probably Jake. But just as I realized Jake wasn't in school, it was pulled again. I turned around, all defensive.

"Hey, Beautiful!" Luke's eyes twinkled. He was beaming. "Going to a funeral?" he asked, pointing to my outfit.

I giggled. "No! It's just something I tossed on," I lied. I wore all black, so I wouldn't stand out. Relief swept through me, like the weight of the world was just lifted off my shoulders just by him talking to me. "Um, shouldn't you be in _prison_?"

"I have until the late bell rings. I just ... I needed to see you. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just going to class." I bit my lip. We were awkward, like pretending nothing happened when something did. That's how I felt, anyway. He just looked really, _really_ happy to see me, and that's definitely a good thing! "I was going to call you last night, but I figured you were asleep."

He cleared his throat. "No, you should've. I couldn't sleep." He moved aside and nodded at a dark-haired guy wearing a black leather jacket—definitely Italian—a jock from the look of him. "Hey Gino, how's it going? See you in art tomorrow!"

Gino waved, looked me over and kept walking.

So Luke couldn't sleep either, huh? My lips formed a smile I couldn't prevent.

Luke flashed me those pearly white teeth. "What?"

I shook my head. "Nothing," I said cheerfully.

He looked flushed. "Tired," he breathed.

"Me, too," I said, blushing. I moved my hair out of my face.

Our eyes locked. He looked at me, adoringly. His eyes said it all. And at that, I was getting giddy.

My cell phone vibrated. I reached into my pocket quickly and answered it. "Hi, Lilly."

Luke bit his thumbnail, planted a kiss on my cheek and nuzzled my free ear. "Meet me by your locker at three," he whispered. "I love you." He winked and looked me over with those god-like eyes. I waved and he walked away, as every girl in the hall swooned.

I nearly swooned myself.

"Hello?!" Lilly screamed into the phone.

I snapped out of it and headed for class. "I'm here."

"What happened?" Lilly demanded. "My mom fell asleep last night, and I just got your message."

I groaned. "I can't tell you _now_! I'm in _school!_ "

"Well, give me a hint and I'll call you later."

"Okay..." I said, looking about warily. "I lost something last night."

She was silent for a bit. "Uh, okay ... like...? Your keys? Driving privileges? Your _mind_?" She giggled.

I walked into home economics and sunk into my seat. "None of the above. And I'm in class now, so I'd love to say it, but I can't."

"What else could you possibly lose?"

I chuckled. "I'll call you later. Or you can call me."

"No, now it's killing me!" Brief silence. "Wait, wait, wait! Did you lose...? _You know!_ " Her mom was in the room—guaranteed!

I chuckled again.

"Oh my God! And you have to go?! Oh my God! You _so_ have to tell me! Cut class and tell me! What happened!"

I think the whole class heard her freak out in the phone. I looked around awkwardly. "Can't, I'm already _sitting_ here," I noted.

"Okay, look, I'm gonna take my mom up on the offer to come home early. You need to tell me tell me _tell me!_ _Oh my God!_ "

My eyes widened. I could not believe my luck! Things were _really_ looking up! "You can come back early?" I practically squealed.

"I'm gonna ask and call you back, okay? Mom's bored as hell down here anyway, she hates my chain-smoking aunt."

"Okay." I hung up and looked around self-consciously.

Behind me, Jenna was doing her make-up. Our eyes met. She blotted her lips and gave me a hint of a smile. I turned back around and waited for Ms. Sanderson to arrive.

We waited for about twenty minutes. The guys in back started throwing spit balls across the room. To pass the time, I thought about Luke and last night. When I began blushing uncontrollably, I thought about Luke and this morning. About the seductive look in his eyes. About how obvious it was he adored me. About how happy I made him, and how incredibly happy he made me.

And about how I _couldn't wait_ until three.

I inhaled my sweater, because it smelled like him. It was driving me crazy, and I loved it.

But people were staring. So I stopped.

Soon bored, I thought maybe _I_ should carry around ten pounds of makeup, so I could have something to do at times like this.

Mr. Bias and I have an appointment at two. _Maybe he could help me figure out what got into me last night, because Luke didn't exactly initiate it._

A woman walked in holding a platter of cheese and crackers. She was tall and slender—I swear, like a praying mantis. At about six-foot-five, she was the tallest woman I'd ever seen. Even the guys were stunned as she practically bent over to fit through the frame of the door. Her face was expressionless.

She moved a desk forward and placed the platter on it. "My name is Maria Long, and I am your new home economics teacher. Today we will be discussing the principles of food design. How creative can _you_ get with cheese and crackers?"

People swapped looks. I'll bet she was just out of college. She sounded like she was talking to chalkboard people, like she rehearsed for an hour before driving there. I wondered if she even did drive to work. Can someone that tall even fit in a car?

"What happened to our old—and I mean _old_ —teacher?" a guy in the back asked.

Ms. Long sat at the teacher's desk and looked at us. I think she was as tall as most of us when she was _seated!_ "She will not be teaching this class anymore."

"Why not?" asked Jenna. "Did she quit?"

Ms. Long's hazel eyes moved around the room, finally resting on her. She cleared her throat. "Your teacher has passed away," she said bluntly. "And if any of you need to see a guidance counselor to get through this, just let me know and I will get you in touch with one."

We stared hard. I wondered if I was in some kind of dream, because it was just surreal! This may sound stupid, but I never realized a teacher could die. Kind of like in elementary school, when you think your teachers live at the school, and when you see them at the grocery store it's this big shock!

"Yes," she said, pointing to a guy in back.

"Can you tell us about yourself? All teachers do that before they start."

"I just graduated from college with degrees in nutritional science and ceramics. I'm twenty-eight and single. I have a Great Dane. I've been riding a unicycle since I was twelve, since cars pollute and exercise is essential for a healthy life. And I enjoy yoga. If you want, we can try that in this class. Yoga is excellent meditation and can lengthen your lifespan."

"Why a unicycle? Why not a bicycle?" Tom asked.

Ms. Long smiled. "A unicycle is all about balance, control over the body and the mind. Much like yoga."

_Well, I see why_ she's _single!_

She seemed nice enough, though I was still wrapping my mind around my teacher being dead. I guess that appointment with Mr. Bias could come in handy.

~~~

"Miss Morrison!" said Mr. Bias with his undying smile, motioning to the empty interrogation seat. "How are you doing this afternoon?" He leaned back in his leather office chair.

"I guess I'm okay. I've had a really tough week."

He nodded. "Want to talk about it?"

"No." I wanted to get to the point of why I was there and leave. The sooner, the better.

"I'll listen if you talk." His grin widened. "I'll listen if you _don't_ talk." He folded his fingers and waited. "Did you decide on a college?"

"Well, I applied to one about a month ago." I felt like a broken record.

"Which one is that?"

"The one in British Columbia."

He looked through my file. "Your SAT scores are good. Are you retaking?"

"No." I have better things to do on a Saturday morning!

"Well, it sounds like you just need to decide on a college, then! Did you get an acceptance letter?"

"No."

"What do your parents think?" He raised his eyebrows and stared at me, his smile small but present.

"I don't know." I wanted to get off the subject, so I said, "Do you know what happened to Ms. Sanderson?"

His eyebrows came together. "Oh, I'm sorry, she died in her sleep. She was eighty-six. I think that's pretty old. But she was nice, wasn't she? Did you need to talk about that?"

"Not really...."

He scratched his peach-fuzz and cleared his throat. "Well then, how about the state university?" He handed me a brochure. "Here's their viewbook."

I stuffed it in my book bag.

"You really need to decide, okay? Let's meet again in one week. Let me know if British Columbia accepts you."

"Um, okay."

He frowned. "Unless you have something else to discuss? It's confidential, you know."

I wanted to say that he was more confused than I was, and his sessions didn't help. Unfortunately I'm too polite; I just couldn't bring myself to.

I cleared my throat. "I don't like all the pressure being put on me about college. My parents expect me to go. I'm not really ready to do it ... I don't think."

He bobbed his head up and down. I'll bet he wasn't hearing a damn thing I said, because his expression was unchanged as he looked _above_ my head. He was back a few seconds later. "So you're saying you don't want to go?"

"I don't know. It just seems like there's so much pressure on me and nobody but me."

"Well, I don't know about that. For people your age in general, this is a very stressful time. If you don't go, have you thought of what you will do for a living?"

"I like to write," I said.

"Well, you can go to college for that. You have to have superior grammar and creativity to write. College will help. Especially a liberal arts degree."

I nodded. "I might think about that."

"How are midterms coming?"

"They're all next week."

"Planning to ace them all?" He raised his eyebrows and widened his smile. He reminded me of a car salesman.

_No, I'm planning to fail them all!_ What kind of question _was_ that? "Yeah," I said politely.

"How's the boyfriend?"

I grew confused. "Which one?"

He shrugged. "How many do you have?"

"Just one," I confirmed. "I just wasn't sure if you meant my current or my ex."

Mr. Bias nodded. "How's he treating you?" He made a little hand gesture. "The _current_ one."

"He's great!" I said, my spirits lifting. "I'm moving in with him once we graduate." Then I added, "Please don't tell my parents."

His smile widened slightly. "What do your parents think about him?"

"My dad hates him..." I muttered.

"Good, good. How about your mom?"

"I think she likes him. But my mom isn't as strict as my dad." _Who knew? My mom is_ normal.

"Do you use protection?" he pried. He held his hands up when I frowned. "Confidential!"

I laughed. _What's with this ballsy question?_

He waited for an answer, his smile small but put. I just didn't want to talk about that. With _him._

Complete. Silence.

"Well," he lectured cheerfully. "I'm sure you know you should. Babies are pricey! And so are STDs!"

"He doesn't have any of those."

His eyes widened. He leaned forward and neatly folded his hands on his desk. "How do you know, Miss Morrison?"

_This man is_ weird.

"I just do," I said coyly. I didn't get why he had to lecture me—I didn't say we _didn't_. I didn't say anything.

"Do you love him?" Mr. Bias asked.

I nodded.

"Does he love you?"

A smile crossed my lips. "Yeah! I can tell."

Mr. Bias looked above my head dreamily. "Good, good. That's what matters."

You know, I always wondered why I can't interrogate _him_. Ask him what he and his wife use. Ask him what he's doing next year, or in twenty years, and how he feels about that.

He's like a hound, he gets paid to sniff out gossip. Confidential my butt, he probably talks about it at the water cooler.

When he snapped out of his little vacation, he rolled back in his chair, clasped his hands behind his head, and put his feet on the desk again. "Well, Miss Morrison, why don't you see me at this time next week? And give college some thought, okay?"

"Okay."

~~~

At three o'clock I waited for Luke by my locker. I'd had a good writing class, and Tweezer was in school again. "I coach wrestling," he reminded us, "you shouldn't have expected a sub for too long." Everyone laughed, though I didn't think that was very funny.

Lilly called during creative writing. She left a voice mail saying she'd be back tomorrow afternoon, and that I should meet her at her house. She said it's a surprise and she expects me to keep it hush-hush. It seems she forgot who she's talking to.

I didn't see him coming. His arms cradled my neck, and he kissed my cheek. "Guess what. I'm a free man," he breathed in my ear, making my spine tingle. I turned around. He put his arms out and let them fall to his sides. "Wanna grab lunch?"

"Did you miss lunch today?"

"You know that cafeteria-barf doesn't turn me on." He grinned. "I'll bet you know what does, though."

I felt myself blush. "A Big Mac?"

He chuckled.

We headed out to his Jeep, where he unplugged it and wrapped the extension cord around the winch. In Alaska we plug our cars in to keep them from freezing, and happy when it's time for them to start.

He cranked the engine and we waited in silence for a while. Then we drove to McDonald's and ordered the usual.

Luke parked once we had our food. Moments later, his cell phone rang a little Mozart tune. His eyes alternated from me to the screen and back again. He mumbled something under his breath and hit the talk. "Hey." His voice was shaky.

He listened for a minute, holding the phone close to his ear. He glanced over at me. I ate my fries and pretended I wasn't listening.

"Are you serious? Why would I be happy about that?" He fell silent for a while, listening with a grimace. "Okay, I'll see you then," he finally mumbled. He listened some more and cleared his throat. "Yeah, fine. I can't talk now. We'll talk more when I see you." Our eyes met. "Bye." He hung up and threw the phone on the dashboard. He bit his lip, looking thoughtful.

"Who was that?"

He sipped his milkshake. "That was nobody."

I nodded and looked out my window. From the bit I heard, _nobody_ sounded a lot like a girl. "Never met a Nobody before, is that a common name?" I asked with an awkward laugh.

He didn't find that funny.

"Is something wrong?" I stared at him quizzically.

"Nothing's wrong." Yet he was barely breathing.

The silence grew awkward. I began feeling uncomfortable.

"Come on, I know _something's_ wrong. Is it about last night?"

He raised an eyebrow. Our eyes brushed. "No. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Like...?" I pressed.

He turned to face me. "If you found out something you don't like about me, would you still stay with me?"

Okay, now he was freaking me out. He'd asked this question before.

My heart raced. I felt myself tremble. "Something like what...?"

"Just something you might have a problem with. Maybe something I didn't mention before."

My breath stopped. "That wasn't your first time, was it?"

"I'm not talking about that. This is something else completely. Just ... imagine the worst case scenario," he struggled, "something taboo, that you'd have a problem with. Would you be mad?"

I couldn't see what he was getting at. What was he talking about, _worst case scenario_?

My mouth dropped. "Oh my God, do you have an STD?!"

"What! No! Absolutely not!" He looked offended. His eyes grew glossy. "It's nothing _that_ bad. I wouldn't do that..." His voice trailed off. "It's definitely not that."

I felt bad. But I was too concerned with what he hadn't been telling me to apologize. "Oh. Okay."

Then. Utter. Silence.

I wanted to know who he'd been talking to, because I had a really bad feeling.

"Adonia?" he breathed. "Talk to me."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Are you seeing someone else?"

"No..." He sighed and held his face. "Never mind."

I laughed, all jittery. My blood was rushing to my ears. I was panting. My body quivered. What did he have to hide that was so bad? " _Never_ _mind?_ Luke, I'm confused. I want to know if I'm missing something."

He started picking at the steering wheel. "You're not ... really."

"I think I am. Who was on the phone? It's about _her_."

He heaved a sigh. "Can we just change the subject?" He looked at me, pale, breathing heavy again. "Please."

His response stunned me.

Our eyes were locked for a while, and his look gradually softened. He took my hand. "Look, I'm sorry. I love you, okay?"

"I feel nauseous," I spat. "I want to go home and go to bed."

His eyes widened. " _Nauseous_? Why? What's wrong?"

I smiled mockingly. "It's _nothing_. I'm just having a bad week."

He frowned. "Was last night part of your bad week?"

"Not until now."

His face fell.

The stress was beginning to choke me. I quickly added,

"Look, I didn't mean it that way."

"Okay," he said, "because I don't want you to regret it."

"I don't." I didn't touch the rest of my food.

After a while, he sighed, pulled out of the parking spot and started driving. I didn't see why he couldn't just tell me whom he was talking to, especially if he's going to act all weird after talking to her.

I was so anxious. I bet it's his ex, probably coming up to see him.

I didn't know what to say, so I peered out my window until the house came into view. When the car stopped, he kissed me lightly.

And for once, I didn't bother kissing him back.

With a heavy heart, I got out and slammed the door behind me. "I'll see you tomorrow," I grumbled, holding back tears.

"Really? That's it? _Fine."_ He put the car in reverse and peeled out.

I was in shock. I suppose I'd been too harsh, but I wasn't expecting _that._

I wanted to call him and apologize. But then, why couldn't he tell me who he was talking to? What _worst case scenario?_ Why keep me in the dark about his ex coming up to see him? Why lie to me?

My heart sank. Maybe my dad was right. Maybe Luke was just after something. Maybe he does this to lots of girls.

And I fell for him. _So bad._

# XIII

Mom's plane was scheduled to leave at 4:30. Dad and Sullivan said their goodbyes at home and I drove her, since someone had to bring the Jeep back. Dad was busy himself, packing for Arizona.

Mom wore a black suit and sneakers, and she pulled a ton of luggage through the airport. At her terminal, she hugged me. It was barely even genuine. "I promise I'll be home for Christmas. Do well in school, okay?"

I nodded, all choked up. Of course I wanted to ask her to stay, but there's no point, because she couldn't. She has a _career_.

"Are you all right?" she asked in a higher voice, so I could hear her over the loudspeaker. The airport was bright and practically deserted. It smelled like the floor had just been waxed.

I nodded again, unsure I could find my voice. "I'll miss you," I finally uttered, feeling kind of lame.

"Me too. Tell Luke I enjoyed meeting him, okay?" She pulled her glasses down the bridge of her nose and looked at me over them. "Promise you'll give college some more serious thought."

"You'll miss your flight, Mom."

She pulled her ticket out of her suitcase and waved it at me. "See you soon!" Then she walked off with a slight limp.

I watched as she presented her ticket. She seemed awfully glad to be leaving.

My eyes watered. No matter how much I wanted to chase her, I held back. She'd been doing this since I was ten—you'd think I'd be used to it by now.

I wonder if she enjoyed leaving us to travel the world, to learn interesting things and live with interesting people. I read in my career book that many anthropologists work for universities or museums. They're not usually in other countries eleven-and-a-half months out of the year. But it's understandable why she'd turned down that university job when it was offered last April—she'd have to be home with us when she could be doing cool things elsewhere instead.

I left at 5:30, after the final off-duty flight attendant asked me if I was okay. I'd sat there for an hour, pathetic. Her plane was late, but she didn't even bother coming back to spend a bit of extra time with me. No wonder she didn't respect Dad's punishments, or care if I had sex— _she_ didn't have to deal with it—Dad did.

So I decided I'd start being nicer to Dad for a change. At least Dad cares.

~~~

I got to Lilly's house fifteen minutes early. It's a tan, two-story home on Sunny Dale Road, a busy street that's nowhere near as depressing as Massacre Lane.

Having a full-time mom who loves spending time with you, taking you on vacation and shopping must be great. I literally wished they'd adopt me.

I knocked on her door and kicked the snow off my boots as I waited for someone to answer.

She answered, screaming joyously. She pulled me into her foyer and hugged me, still dressed for Florida; denim shorts and a tight pink Hawaiian tee shirt.

"Wow! It feels like I've been gone forever!" She rubbed my cheek. "Uh oh, runny makeup... What's going on!"

I hung up my coat. "My mom left."

"Oh..." After removing my boots, we went into the living room.

Her living room's about twice the size of mine. They have a three-piece leather couch set, a cute little fish tank coffee table, a sunflower ceiling fan, a cherry-colored entertainment center, a huge television and a fireplace. The place is squeaky clean and always smells like potpourri; I think her mom buys it by the ton.

"It'll be okay, Adonia." Lilly sat on her couch, reached into a bag by her side and pulled out a small box. "For you, like I promised!"

I sat beside her and opened the box with the pretty white bow. Earrings. Silver dolphin earrings. "These are cute!"

She pulled something else out. "And here's a Minnie Mouse from our trip to Disney World!"

I laughed and squeezed her tight. "Thanks. I'm so glad you're home early. I've been miserable."

" _Miserable?_ You weren't yesterday!"

I nodded, unsure where to start.

She reached for my diamond heart pendant. "This is new!"

"My boyfriend got it for me."

She squealed. "So tell me about this boyfriend..."

I was about to when the front door opened and the wind crept in. Then the door closed, and I waited for whomever it was to pass.

"Hello, Adonia!" Lilly's mom called as she hurried into the living room, hauling mass luggage behind her. "How are you?" she asked in her heavy German accent.

I got up and she hugged me. She is no taller than Lilly and she's thin, with whitening blond hair and friendly, wrinkling blue eyes. She's everything my mother isn't: easy-going, affectionate, stress-free and energetic.

"Good news, the airport found our luggage! It even took them under three hours this time!" she said, setting her purse down. "Did you introduce Adonia to your brother?"

Lilly shook her head.

"You should!" She looked me over. "The more friends you have around you the better, especially today. You seem really sad, honey!

"You know what, I did so much shopping, and I didn't forget you! I just have to find it." She looked at her watch. "Are you staying for dinner? I insist. I'll call your dad and ask if you want me to! Would you like that?"

I smiled weakly. "Sure, why not?"

"Great." She grabbed the handles on her luggage and hurried behind the swinging door that led to the kitchen, screaming something in German, presumably to somebody upstairs, from her loud tone.

I smiled at Lilly. "I am so jealous! Your mom's so much cooler than mine!"

Lilly tucked her long hair behind her ears and patted the couch. I sat again, facing her. I took a deep breath, not sure where to start with all the details about Luke. But just then she looked past me, and screamed,

"No, you can come in, we're just talking!"

When I looked over my shoulder, the kitchen door swung like someone just left. "Who was that?"

"My brother. I'll introduce you two!" She called for him in German. When the door creaked, she ordered him over with her finger. She took a deep breath and exhaled. "Okay, Adonia, _finally_ , this is my twin brother, Lukasz!"

I looked over my shoulder again.

And there he was, in denim shorts and a yellow muscle shirt, with a crooked smile, waving at me.

I did a double take.

At no time in my life did I feel like a bigger idiot! And this idiot wasn't breathing!

"Adonia?" Lilly looked concerned. "What's wrong?"

Our eyes met. _Then_ I saw the resemblance. They aren't identical twins! Boys and girls are fraternal! That's why he's taller! That's why their eyes are different! And he never spoke with an accent, because he spent more time with his father in the states. It was all coming together ... and I felt sick.

"His name's what?!" I shrieked. It sounds like Lucas, but ends in _-esh_.

"Lukasz," she confirmed. "Our dad's Polish, he named him."

_That_ was the name she mentioned a million times, and the name I _forgot_ a million times, because my mind wanders and it's not even American!

"No wonder I couldn't remember it!" I blurted.

Lilly just stared at me.

"I want to go home," I said a bewildered moment later, my lower lip trembling.

She frowned. "What? Why? You said you'd stay for dinner, you can't go. And you have to tell me about this guy! I came home early just to hear about him!"

I eyed Luke.

_Lukasz_ to be more precise.

Luke sat on the love seat a few feet away, hunched over, head hung.

Sadly, he is still _insanely_ freaking _hot_.

"See, Beautiful?" Luke exclaimed. "I don't have an STD."

Lilly grimaced. "Ew? _WHAT?!_ "

Luke cleared his throat. "Lilly, Mom called."

Lilly checked over her shoulder. "No, she didn't. God, you need your hearing checked!"

"She did, okay?" he said sternly. "Get in the kitchen!"

She got to her feet and placed her hands on her hips. "Make me."

He sighed and pointed to me. "I need to talk to her. In private."

"You just freakin' met her, what could there possibly be to talk about _in_ _private?_ Besides, she has a boyfriend."

He stared her down, and after a minute, she stomped off into the kitchen.

Our eyes brushed. I understood now. _This_ is what I didn't know! I'll bet he spent this _whole time_ thinking,

Lilly's best friend is a complete moron!

That's what I'm thinking, too, so I can't blame him.

"Is this what you've been trying to tell me?" My voice was shaky. I was angry, but I was also a bit relieved.

His palms opened. "I honestly didn't know until after we started going out. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you." His hands fell to his sides and his voice softened. "I didn't know how you'd react. Or how to say it. I thought—for girls—maybe it's against the rules...taboo...or something."

"So you let me find out like this?"

"Look, nothing's changed. I love you."

I laughed through flowing tears. To make matters worse, Lilly marched back in. She stood before us with her arms crossed. "Okay, I'm no dumb blonde, people, tell me what is going on!"

She looked at me. "Who's this boyfriend of yours, anyway?"

Our eyes met. I was afraid to say it. I was afraid she'd be mad. "His name is Luke Pawlak, and he's sitting right there." My stomach tied itself in a knot.

She looked at her brother in horror, like he was an insect. Her mouth hung. When she finally found her voice she screamed, "What did you _do!_ "

He got up with a start. "Hey, I didn't know until after we met. _She_ didn't know until now!"

Lilly laughed wildly. Then she glared at me, pointing to him. "This is him? You lost it to him?"

I covered my face. Now he knows what I'd told her! My cheeks began to burn.

She started sobbing. "This is a huge practical joke you people are playing on me, right? This isn't for real, right?" Her face was soaked, her eyes wide.

"Wait! What is so wrong with _me_?" Luke asked, his face reddened.

"You're my brother! Hello! Get with the program! She's my best friend, she can't date you! I don't want to hear about _that!_ " She grimaced like she was imagining it.

"Excuse me? So you don't want her to inconvenience _you_ , that's basically the problem here?"

She stomped her foot. "You know what, the fact that the two of you did this to me is completely, utterly wrong!" She pointed a finger at him. "That's why we never talked, Lukasz. Because you do crap like this!"

He crossed his arms. "When's the last time I hooked up with your best friend, it's-all-about-me-Lilly?"

Her eyes narrowed. " _Crap like this_ doesn't mean _exactly this!_ And you could've had the decency to tell me on the phone yesterday, instead of like this!"

His eyes settled on me. "I guess you were right. She is a bigger drama queen!"

Lilly clenched her fists. She looked like she wanted to kill me. I cringed. "What! I'm a bigger drama queen? Than whom? I love how you people talk about me behind my back, too! So ballsy, Lukasz! This just keeps getting better and better!"

My head fell into my hands. I've been dragged into my boyfriend and best friend's sibling rivalry. Right after my mom abandoned me, and the day before my dad leaves, too.

But hey ... at least I found out who Luke was on the phone with yesterday. At least he doesn't have an STD. At least I won't have to kill his hot ex-girlfriend!

Of all the things I thought it could be, I never imagined the problem could be his _sister!_

On the flip side, this can be good. This can be very good. Because he can't run off with my super-hot bestie.

Because my bestie is his sister.

And that's gross.

"Lilly, I'm sorry," I pleaded, drying my eyes.

"Don't apologize to her!" Luke demanded. "Don't you see how childish she's acting? She's fucking selfish! Everything's about _her!_ "

Mrs. Jacobson appeared, wiping her hands on her apron. "What's going on in here? Why is there shouting?"

Furious, Lilly shoved Luke aside.

Luke fell backwards, barely missing the glass coffee table. He got up and tramped toward her aggressively. "Knock that shit off!" He stopped less than a foot from her, every muscle in his body clenched. "Grow up, sis."

She shoved him again, but this time he didn't budge. "Screw you!" she screamed, wiping her eyes.

She looked at me, pointing to him again. Her face grew even redder. "Of all the guys in this town, you had to pick this one? I don't even wanna hear about it! And I don't want a friend who _talks behind my back, doesn't return my calls, and sleeps with my brother!_ "

Their mother covered her gasp.

I was mortified.

The poor woman hurried back into the kitchen like she'd just witnessed a crime.

"I tried to call but you were never in," I attempted.

"So what! I told you his damn name, how could you not figure out who he was?"

"Seriously? Even if I remembered it, he doesn't even go by Lukasz, he goes by Luke! His last name is different! He doesn't look like your twin, no accent, nothing! And I didn't know because he didn't tell me! So why are you mad at _me_?"

At that she stomped up the stairs. "Wow, every excuse in the book! Save your breath!"

Luke looked remorseful. "I didn't want this to happen, I swear."

I left my gifts on the couch and put my boots on at the door. He gripped my arm, but I pulled away.

I grabbed my coat, walked out, slammed the door behind me and headed for the Jeep, the coat dragging behind me on the ground. My entire being shook as I powered the engine.

He grabbed the door to stop me from shutting it. He only wore shorts and his muscle shirt. "Where are you going?"

"Home! Your mom knows and your sister hates me!"

"Don't you want to settle this like an adult?"

"This _is_ settled."

His eyes narrowed. "What does that mean, exactly?"

I broke eye contact, afraid to say it. Why couldn't he tell me the truth _yesterday_? I wanted to die, I was so humiliated!

"Oh, I know! That means you don't want to be with me because of my sister, right?" He scowled. "When you said you loved me, did you even mean it? Because you wouldn't leave me for something this stupid if you really did."

He pointed to his house. "She's not worth it. Her acting like a self-centered bitch is not a reason to be doing this!"

"I'm really sorry," I sobbed.

"No you're not." He let go of my door and I shut it.

"I'm really sorry. Just like you. I'm so embarrassed! This was all a big mistake!"

He nodded. " _I'm_ a big mistake." He clasped his hands behind his neck. "I'm not sorry about us. Too bad _you_ are." The frost from his breath had accumulated on his eyebrows and on the tips of his hair.

After a thoughtful moment, he sighed. "Please don't do this. I love you."

" _Why_ do you love me, Luke?"

"What?"

"Luke. I'm obviously beyond clueless and your sister hates me."

His expression softened somewhat. "You're not clueless, you just didn't think about it. And she doesn't hate you, she's just shocked and selfish and immature. Even if she did hate you, I don't give a shit. Because that's not what matters to me. You're the only girl I've ever felt this way about. And _no one_ can change that." He touched my hand. "Just stay, okay?"

He tempted me. But what about my friendship with Lilly? Wasn't that more important?

I began to weep. I rolled up the window, put the car in reverse and backed out of their driveway.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Luke looked toward his house, his fingers laced in his hair. "Oh come on! This is freakin' ridiculous!"

I put the Jeep in gear and sped away with a big screech.

Regrets came almost instantly. I wanted to go back. But I couldn't go back—I'd look stupid.

I just drove, my head throbbing.

I passed the slowpoke in front of me and hit the gas turning off Sunny Dale Road. I cried feverishly. For distraction, I turned up the music.

I honked back at some creep who beeped for no reason. I was only trying to turn and I had no time or patience to yield, why can't people be a little more considerate of others and yield _themselves?_

What does everyone want from me!

"Go to college!"

"Get good grades!"

"Don't sleep with my brother!"

Seriously? I can't live my own life?

I turned onto the highway, narrowly missing a bonehead in a Mack truck. Why are people so insensitive? I'm in a much smaller vehicle, shouldn't I have the right of way?

Was it appropriate to blow his _train whistle_ at me?

I hit the gas to pass him, and a few other cars, too. When I was ahead, I finally felt like I was cooling down a bit.

Then my cell phone rang.

I reached for it. It was in my coat pocket on the floor by the front passenger seat. When I bent over to pull the coat up, it caught under the seat. I tugged at it, trying to keep the steering wheel straight at the same time.

Desperate to retrieve it, I reached lower, quickly glancing to see what I was doing.

And the wheel slipped.

I panicked, dropped the coat to correct the car.

Then I spun.

There was a strong force. And sudden crunching metal. The Jeep moved along sideways. Crumbling noises closed in on me. The music went dead. Glass shattered.

I tried to stay awake, but I slipped away.

~~~

Police lights were scattered about, along lines of headlights from cars backed up in traffic. I rubbed my eyes and reached for my seatbelt. My bloody hand trembled as I tried to unbuckle.

I stumbled onto the ground and heard voices race toward me. They were muffled so I could not make out what they said. Everything was blurry. I couldn't get to my feet. A policewoman and two paramedics pulled me up.

When my vision returned seconds later, I saw what had happened. I pulled away and stood up.

"My mom's Jeep!" I shrieked, and fell to my knees.

It was totaled. Smoke flowed from under the hood. The rear windshield was gone without a trace. The front windshield was cracked, and all the side windows were shattered. I staggered around its side. It was hit on the passenger side, skidded and hugged a large white spruce by the side of the road. It was unrecognizable.

A policewoman handed me my wallet. "I called your father. You're lucky you're still alive. Let's get you to the ambulance."

I pulled my arm away and bawled. Dad was going to kill me. _Mom_ was going to kill me!

"Step away from the vehicle." The policewoman gripped my arm. "We have to let traffic through."

I followed her. A few feet away was the pick-up that hit me. Its front end was smashed in. The driver shouted angrily into a cell phone.

I sat in the ambulance. A paramedic named Shawn cleaned my head and hand wounds. Amazingly, I was well enough to find him cute.

All I wanted was my boyfriend back. And my best friend back. And my mom back. Though my mom will probably kill me—I don't need her back right away.

"You should get an MRI," Shawn advised. "It's a miracle you walked away from that. That vehicle held up damn well."

His spiky blond hair reminded me of Luke. He taped a white bandage to my hand and wrapped a heated blanket around me. I pulled it tight around my shoulders, trying to stop shuddering.

The doors suddenly opened, and Dad rushed in. Instantly, I wept.

He hugged me so hard. "Are you all right?" He let go and looked into my eyes. "I'm so glad you're okay, you scared the hell out of me!"

"I'm sorry about the Jeep," I sobbed.

"Forget the Jeep, we have insurance. Don't you worry about the Jeep."

He looked at Shawn. "What treatment does she need?"

"Well, she's going to need stitches on her hairline, where she's bandaged now. I'll let a doctor deal with that. I recommend an MRI, too, just to be sure. Her hand's just scraped a bit. Other than that, it's like nothing happened."

Dad hugged me again. "What happened?"

"I had a huge fight with Lilly. I drove home and lost control on ice." I felt bad leaving ninety percent of the details out, but I didn't want him to think this was Luke's fault. It was _my_ fault.

Reluctant to spill any more, we sat quietly in the ambulance.

At the hospital, they stitched up my forehead. Nine stitches, and they said the stitches dissolve, so I don't have to worry about getting them removed.

I also had to lie down on this bed that took x-rays of my head. The doctor said he saw no immediate damage, and he'd have the official results shortly. Exhausted, we went home.

When we walked through the door, Sullivan rushed to greet me. "Are you okay?"

I nodded through a film of tears, sat on the couch and held my head in my hands. The place smelled like lasagna.

The policewoman was kind and only gave me a warning for my traffic violations.

I was awaiting my interrogation. But instead Dad said, "Get something to eat and go to bed. Don't worry about school tomorrow if you don't feel well, I got you a note from the hospital."

Why couldn't he get a note from the hospital for the next seven months? I couldn't do school anymore, having pissed off Luke and Lilly.

When I finally looked up, Dad and Sullivan looked concerned. "I'm not hungry, Dad," I whispered. "I'm going to bed."

"Okay. Sleep tight. Call me if you need me, okay?"

I climbed the stairs with rubber legs and fell into bed. I wrapped my arms around my pillow and thought I smelled Luke. Then I realized I _did_ smell Luke—I'd dragged the scent into bed with me on Tuesday, and I hadn't washed the sheets yet.

And gross as it may sound, I don't plan on washing them, ever again.

# XIV

Dad had to reschedule his trip to Arizona. If I don't screw up again, he'll go on the thirtieth and come home November first.

Sullivan and I skipped school. His excuse was a stomachache. My excuse—had Dad bothered asking for one—was a broken heart.

Sullivan's mad Dad can't take him trick-or-treating this year. I can't believe a twelve-year-old still wants to trick-or-treat!

I figured since I have a grand total of zero friends, I should be nice to the few people who _don't_ hate me, and take him trick-or-treating myself. It's not like I have a date to that party or anything.

Oh, and then there's the prom....

After breakfast I sat on my bed, listened to boy bands and studied for midterms. I don't want to take the midterms, not feeling like this!

Between that and crying over math problems gone wrong, I fell asleep.

The doorbell awoke me at 3:45. I zipped out of my room and down the stairs hopefully. But it wasn't Luke—it was a zit-faced nerd with thick red glasses and clothes he outgrew years ago. "Are you Adonia?"

Don't tell me this guy heard I'm single!

"Y-Yeah...?"

He handed me a gift box. "Someone paid me ten dollars to give you this, so here it is." His smile revealed shiny silver braces.

I took the box. It was really light and quite large. "Who's this from?"

"I promised I wouldn't say." He pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose and left.

"Thank you," I called after him, and shut the door. I tore the wrapping to open it, and peered inside. I pulled out a white teddy bear, fuzzy with a red, velvety heart for a nose, and button blue eyes. It held a small typewritten note that read "Get Well Soon." So I couldn't tell who it was from.

How did anyone but Sullivan and Dad even know about last night?

I thought, maybe it's from Mom? Or from Dad or Sullivan, just to cheer me up?

But it had a familiar scent. I took it up to bed to lay down with it, and thought I recognized what I smelled—Luke.

It smelled like Luke all over. I inhaled it. Tears seeped into its white fur. Maybe I was just imagining it.

I hoped I wasn't.

I missed him so much, I burst into tears. I should never have left. I should have stayed when he asked me to. Now I've got nothing but memories. And regrets.

Sullivan knocked on the open door. "Who's the bear from?" he asked, his voice cracking. He wore baggy sweat pants and a super-huge tee shirt that was shockingly clean. His hair was tucked behind his ears and full of static. It looked like crap, but he's a guy, so no one cares.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I don't know."

"Do you want to play Wii? Dad's working and there's no one to play with." His head fell. "I should work on making more friends. But I'm always the odd kid out."

I grabbed the cell phone from on my dresser. The screen was heavily scratched, but it still worked. "I'll play with you," I offered. "Give me a minute."

"Really?" His spirits lifted. "Awesome!" he said, and walked out.

I hit Luke's number on speed dial and let it ring. Maybe he'd talk to me now. Maybe he'd tell me if he sent the bear. Maybe he'd tell me he still loves me.

It rang ten times. Then it went to voicemail.

I thought about leaving a message, but hung up instead. What could I have possibly said? What if the bear wasn't from him and I thanked him? That would be weird.

In Sullivan's bedroom, there was space on his carpet to walk. I was impressed.

He turned off his music and moved over so I could join him on the floor. At least the video game sort of distracted me.

# XV

I'm so pathetic, I pretended to have lost something in my locker, just to look busy. So I don't look like I'm alone and broken.

I've gone from dating a Greek god to losing him _and_ my best friend in under forty-eight hours. I have no one, and it's embarrassing.

I rearranged notebooks, searched the pockets of my coat for nothing and sighed loudly in annoyance. Well, _I_ think I was very convincing. But no one came around by the time the final bell rang. No one looked. No one cared.

"You're Adonia, right?" Ms. Long asked when I walked into her class a minute late. I nodded, making my way to my seat. My forehead felt hot and my stitches felt uncomfortable, tempting me to scratch though I knew I shouldn't. "Would you mind being in here before the bell rings?" she asked in a surprisingly cool tone.

I guess I'm no longer a chalkboard person.

I sat quietly. Tom smirked. His black eye was going away, now it was yellow. His nose looked slightly bigger than it did before his little suspension, because Luke broke it. I wished Luke would do it again after class—that would give Thomas Belling something to do besides laugh at me.

After heating microwaveable meals all period long, I hurried to gym. In the crowded girls' locker room, I ignored absolutely everyone. It's an ugly beige room, with benches and open lockers all over. There were piles upon piles of clothes everywhere.

I didn't see Lilly, but I heard Lilly. She and a bunch of girls she barely knew were laughing like they'd been friends forever. I was afraid it was about me.

She walked past me in her blue denim shorts and pink tank top, and shrugged me off when I waved at her. I hurried and dressed in gym clothes that ironically matched hers, and ran into the gymnasium in time for attendance. Alone on the bleachers, I sat, head in hands, watching her gossip two rows down like she'd never even met me.

We played volleyball again. Ms. Gee put Lilly and Jake on my team—it was like capital punishment. She blew her whistle and the game was on.

I stood on the side near the back, watching others play, until I saw Ms. Gee's ferocious glare. I made an effort to hit the next ball, but I missed and lost us a point. Lilly shook her head like it even mattered. She doesn't do volleyball, she _shops_. Why does she suddenly care?

She looked so beautiful it made me feel self-conscious. I think deep down I've always worshiped her. No wonder her brother seemed so familiar.

It's amazing how all the guys that are so mean to _me_ flock over to her, even after she turns them down or beats them away.

At least the only guy I wanted—the only guy that mattered—had no interest in her. Because the guy I wanted, the guy I should not have drove off on, is her twin brother.

"Come on!" Jake screamed my way, "If you can't play, sit!"

My mind had wandered. I snapped out of it.

Lilly hit Jake flirtatiously. She was surely being mean to get his hopes up—she wouldn't seriously waste any time on _him_.

~~~

Lilly and Anna were at the lunch table before me. Shockingly, Luke sat with Jake and Tom, and hardly even noticed me.

Seriously, why was he was hanging out with a bunch of idiots who tried to kill him a week ago?

I felt like an outcast, searching desperately for a table. My ears felt hot. It felt like everyone was watching.

There was a table where the nerds sat, a table where the unwashed sat, a table where the popular kids sat, a table where the valley girls sat, but there were no tables where the _rejects_ sat.

I approached the round table in front of Lilly and Luke's tables. The table Jenna sat at. Alone. "Do you mind if I sit with you?" I asked hesitantly.

She looked up from her tiny round mirror and blotted her lips. "Like sure, why not? No one else seems to want to." She dragged her bag across the table so I could take a seat.

"I don't exactly _want_ to," I wanted to say, but I was just grateful I wasn't sitting with the unwashed.

"Hey, Adonia, did you convert?" Tom shouted. "Are you a full time slut now?"

Jake and Luke were staring at me. Jake gave Tom a high five. After a brief glance, Luke looked away. I could feel Lilly and Anna's glares.

"Oh my God, they're like always assholes like that," Jenna said, sipping her diet Sprite. "You'll learn to like ignore them. Or live with them. Whichever!"

I groaned, not planning to have to _learn_ anything. I'm not a slut! I'm seventeen... eighteen February first. I'd only been with one guy, whom I love more than anything in the world, and who now hates me!

"Like, I'm so glad we get along now," Jenna said. "And by the way, I'm like sorry about all those nasty looks before. Oh my God, that was like, before I learned that our ex is an asshole and dumped him accordingly."

I doubted we'd ever get along. My eyes settled on her untouched lunch. "Aren't you going to eat?"

She laughed loudly. "Uh... no! Like, pizza makes you fat! Oh my God, I'm single, I _can't_ get fat!"

She must be one of those girls Luke was talking about, on the nutty diets. "You'll get an ulcer," I warned. "It happened to my dad once."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh my God! Whatever! I'm not your dad!"

I took a bite of soggy pizza and peeked over at Luke. Our eyes brushed before he looked away to talk to his new _friends_.

"Did you like break up with him or what?" Jenna asked, eyeing Luke.

I was afraid to answer. She looked super interested.

She looked at me, grinned and tucked her hair behind her ears. "He's _single_? Oh my God, he is like the absolute hottest guy on this side of the continent!"

I sighed and dropped my pizza. That didn't make me feel any better.

"Seriously, he is like wow, if he asked I would totally sleep with him! My friend Kaylee, like she would sleep with him in a heartbeat! And Amy, and Rebecca, and Jessica—"

"He's _not_ single!" I practically blared.

Jenna recoiled. Luke, Jake and the rest of the cafeteria stared at me. I shrank in my seat.

"He's definitely not single," I insisted, just loud enough so she can hear me. I wanted to add "slut" but I was afraid I'd lose my seat.

Thankfully she changed the subject. "Listen, that home economics homework that's like due before three o'clock today—the one on how to like prepare a chicken salad—do you have it done?"

I nodded.

"Oh, good, I thought you would. Do you mind if I, like, see it? Like, I'm just too busy to do mine. I have like lots of friends and all, and this guy's supposed to ask me out like any day now."

I wondered which guy she was planning to date next, and why she was sitting alone if she had so many friends.

She dumped the rest of her soda on her pizza and edged the tray away from her, disgusted. "Like, what do you say?"

By then I completely lost my appetite. I got up, pushed my chair in and uttered, "I have to go." She didn't exactly try to stop me. Not that I cared. She's on a diet, I'm sure she can figure out how to prep a salad.

I dumped my food and sat by my locker for the rest of lunch, because there was no place else to sit. I was annoyed that she's after my boyfriend _again_. I was more annoyed that I didn't even _know_ if my boyfriend was still my boyfriend!

"You're supposed to be in the cafeteria," a hall monitor warned, standing at my feet. He barely looked like he was out of high school himself.

"It's too noisy in there. I have a headache."

"Well, it's my job to keep you in the cafeteria. Either go back in there or visit the nurse for a cure."

I glanced at my watch. The bell was going to ring in three minutes anyway. I got up and walked slowly toward the cafeteria. When I got to the doors, I started walking to the nurse's.

If there is a God, I must not be on his good side. I wished I had a car again, so I could sneak away and buy something that tasted like _food_.

~~~

There was a new Jeep Grand Cherokee in the driveway when I got home. It looked the same as the old one. I walked up to it to examine it.

"You can't drive for one week, young lady," Dad said, walking from the house toward me. He wore blue jeans and a black turtleneck sweater. "...at your mother's request."

Great! Mom knew what I did to her car! Now I'd never be seeing her good side again. I took it she was pissed, never even calling to talk to me.

I groaned. "Is this the same one? Did they refurbish it?"

"Nope," Dad said, throwing me the keys.

I caught and looked at them longingly. "Did insurance pay?"

"Yup." Dad rubbed his hands for warmth.

"Must have cost them a lot..."

"Well, they'll get their money back in no time when our premiums hit the roof." He looked around. "Where's Luke? I haven't seen him in some time."

"Luke's been very busy with schoolwork," I lied.

"Well at least he's taking _that_ seriously."

I didn't get what that was supposed to mean. So after a while, I threw Dad the keys and reported straight to my room. I changed out of my clothes into sweat pants and a sweatshirt, and checked my cell phone for messages, just in case. Of course I had none.

I threw my algebra book on my bed, to motivate me to do homework. But as soon as Sullivan got home and screamed, "I rented _Hamlet_!" I ran down to watch. I hadn't seen it on film before. But I did read the play in class last semester, and Shakespeare was a genius!

"Get some popcorn!" Sullivan screamed, throwing himself on the couch. "Hurry up! I have a book report due on this tomorrow morning!"

# XVI

My stomach growled throughout third period. It was not only embarrassing and painful, but it made me dizzy during the math midterm I'd barely studied for.

I didn't know how to do logs or rational equations and functions. I tried to resist the urge to turn in a blank answer sheet. _What's the point?_ _I'm failing this anyway! Why bother?_

We had the option of hanging around to let Mr. Michaels grade our tests when we were done, so I took advantage of it. I figured I might as well get it over with and get my grade back.

"Your grade's on the top corner," Mr. Michaels whispered. He scratched between the gray hairs on his balding head. "Did you turn your homework in today?" He wore a pink shirt with red stripes and suspenders. I'll bet he was picked on back in high school.

I shook my head no, dizzy from his cigarette breath. I really wished he'd quit like he kept saying he would, because his breath reeked!

He sighed and hovered over his grade book.

I turned my test over and groaned. "What's my average?"

He pulled the calculator out of his desk drawer. _He's a math teacher, he can't do the math in his head?_

I got a thirty-two on my midterm exam! A _thirty-two!_

I glanced over my shoulder as he punched the numbers. Lilly stood behind me, wearing a form-fitting sweater, silver hoop earrings lined with pink stones, and jeans. Her eyes met mine, but she looked away with a heavy sigh. She hadn't laughed that morning in gym, or talked at lunch; she was quiet all day.

Luke wasn't even in the cafeteria during lunch. I hoped he wasn't on a lunch date. And if he was, I hoped his date got food poisoning.

Mr. Michaels pushed the calculator toward me, glancing at Lilly behind me. Fifty-three percent. _Fifty-three percent!_ I groaned again, bending my knees forward like I needed to pee. "I didn't eat today and I have a stomachache," I whined pathetically. "Can I _please_ retake?"

He raised his silver eyebrows. "Unless you study up for the final and score at least a B plus, you're not passing my class." He picked up a copy of the syllabus and waved it in the air. "No make-up exams, no retakes. It just wouldn't be fair for everyone else."

He looked past me. "Lilly, are you ready?"

In the other room, everyone who finished early read books or talked. I sat myself in the second seat from the back, by the wall, and looked at my watch. There was still an hour until fourth period—it obviously didn't take very long to flunk that test.

I put my head down and cried discretely. I knew I wouldn't graduate. And my parents would kill me.

For about thirty minutes, I'd dozed off. Then I felt the end of a pencil tap me on the back. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and turned around.

"Hey," Lilly breathed. "Are you okay?"

I nodded and turned away, intending to ignore her like she'd been ignoring me.

"I heard about your car from my neighbor. She was driving a few cars behind you. That must've sucked."

I turned to face her. "Did you mail the teddy bear?"

Her eyes turned to the left. "Uh, no..."

Then there was silence.

"Look, I want to apologize for last Thursday." She looked sad and tired. "I'm sorry I was a bitch. It wasn't really any of my business to begin with, you and Lukasz. I guess it was just the shock speaking."

"That's all right," I lied, my voice quivering. It really isn't all right, though. Luke still isn't talking to me. She ruined us.

_Or did_ I _ruin us, when I drove away?_

"I talked to Lukasz about it. He thought this might happen, so he avoided me the whole time and didn't tell you. So I should've just flipped out on him. But even then, I guess it's still not my business."

"He hates me now," I told her. "It really doesn't matter anymore."

She didn't say anything. She just combed through her hair with her fingers. "You really love him?"

I nodded, feeling odd admitting that to her. I guess in a way I understood why she was pissed—it's awkward.

She put her hand to her cheek. "I guess I did miss a lot while I was gone."

I shrugged, not sure what else to say. Actually, I wanted to get off the subject.

"I guess you didn't do so hot on the test?" she asked a few minutes later. Small talk.

"I might not even graduate."

"Well, I got a really low C, so if I do any worse on the final I might not graduate with you." She reclined in her seat. "Anyway, do you want to hang out tonight?"

"I can't drive for another six days," I informed her.

She sucked her teeth. "Your mom must be pretty upset, then, huh?"

Should I mention that my mom cares so much she can't even call and talk to me? I _was_ in a car accident, after all! Dad said they only talked for three minutes before she had to go. That's _pitiful_.

"I'll drive, then. We'll have dinner, maybe go to the rink after?"

"Maybe." I wanted dinner. As for skating, I preferred skiing. With Luke. And only Luke. So I can beat him to the bottom, go back up and kiss him at the top.

" _Dinner_ sounds great."

~~~

"Hey, Dad," I said in the kitchen at 3:30. I took the bus home and had to wait until four for Lilly to pick me up.

The whole time we were making arrangements, I fought the urge to beg, "Please bring your brother!" But she'd finally come around and started talking to me again—I couldn't whine about Luke, or lack thereof. The last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable.

"How was the math midterm?" Dad asked, his nose glued to the computer screen.

I poured myself some grape juice and pretended not to hear. When he repeated himself, I cleared my throat. "It was okay." Lilly was about to pick me up, and I didn't feel like getting grounded right before she did.

"That's good. Your algebra teacher called and left a message while I was at the store. Unfortunately, I haven't had the chance to get back to him."

I swallowed the juice down with a big gulp. I felt myself sweat. "Did he?" I asked casually, scared senseless. "What did he say?"

Dad finished typing a paragraph and glanced at me. "I don't know, sweetie, he just asked me to call." He looked at his screen and suddenly back at me. "It's probably just to tell me you're improving, then. I did tell him to keep in touch at that conference last month, remember?"

I was sweating a river. _Should I tell him the truth_?

God, I couldn't _handle_ telling him the truth. Maybe Dad would forget to call him. Mr. Michaels isn't the pushy type anyway. If Dad forgot, I doubt Mr. Michaels would call again.

One can only hope.

"I'm going out with Lilly."

"Be home by eight."

" _Lilly_ , not Luke."

Dad stopped typing. "Eight _._ Not nine. Or ten, or eleven." He looked stern. "Got it?"

"Sure, Dad." I made my way up to my bedroom and changed into my jeans and a tight tee shirt. Then I redid my makeup, put on my favorite pair of earrings and reached for Luke's necklace.

When she honked, I was polishing the pendant. I put it around my neck, walked out of my room, and was about to head down when I was diverted by Sullivan's empty bedroom. "Where's Sullivan?" I shouted to Dad as I made my way downstairs.

"At Megan's!"

Translated that means Sullivan's probably walking around in circles at the mall.

Part of me wanted to ask Dad if he'd ever seen her, but I didn't want to get in trouble for being a smart-ass.

I put on my coat and gloves and stepped outside, where the wind engulfed me. I hurried to her red Subaru Legacy sedan, hopped inside and shut the door, quick to warm my hands on the heater. It felt like they'd been flash-frozen.

She looked less than thrilled. "Look, we have a problem."

I froze. "Like...?"

"Like, Burke wants us to have dinner at home like a family. He said you can join us, since he doesn't give a crap that I have plans and a life!" She looked out the windshield, shaking her head. "I miss my real dad."

A family dinner meant Luke would be there. And their mom, too, who knew that I'd slept with him. And their stepdad, who didn't— _yet._

I winced. "Maybe I should just stay home," I started, intending to persuade her to keep me out of it.

She looked surprised. "Why? Burke's not gonna be a jerk to _you_!"

I gripped the cold door handle. "Really, I could just see you at school tomorrow."

She shook her head. "You know what? Let's just go! Let's get it over with. The less time I spend stressing over this, the better." She put the car in reverse and hit the gas.

We were silent until we reached her house a few minutes later.

When she got out of her car, I just stared at her front door. She walked halfway there, turned around, and ordered me over with her gloved finger like I'm her little sister.

It was warm and smelled of roast beef inside. I heard the clattering of silverware being set on the table.

We removed our shoes and hung up our coats. I followed her into the kitchen, nervous about seeing Luke. But he wasn't there, to my relief and disappointment.

"Hi, Adonia," Mrs. Jacobson said. "Have a seat, honey, it's almost ready." Then she screamed something in German. That woman is _always_ screaming something in German.

Does Luke even speak German?

Lilly and I sat together at the side of the table facing the door. Her mom sat between me and Burke. I always liked their dining area—well-lit, hexagon-shaped, with cream marble tiles. It was pretty much empty in there except for the large round mahogany table, a huge glass chandelier and a flower pot on a stand by the door.

The smell was delicious and I was dying to eat, though when _he_ walked in, I couldn't tell if it was hunger or nerves.

Luke wore a white tee shirt and baggy beige pants. He took a seat across from me—next to Burke—and looked me over with those god-like eyes. His hair was styled and sexy. I tried to look away, but it was hard not to stare; he was so hot, so seductive, so tempting.

_And_ sooo _not talking to me._

Lilly elbowed me.

I snapped out of it. Her mother had been passing the baby potatoes, and was holding the dish out for me for Luke-knows-how-long. "Sorry," I breathed. I grabbed the dish and dumped a spoonful of potatoes on my plate.

I wished everyone would stop staring at me already. From Luke I felt a constant gaze, even as we ate.

When I finally got the courage to look at him again, he looked away and uttered, "Pass the salt."

Burke flashed me a smile. "So, Adonia, tell me, how are your parents doing?" Burke speaks in a heavy accent, so all his Ws sound like Vs. He doesn't utter a single word without some form of hand gesture. He's a very tall, well-built man. In fact, it's strange seeing him next to Lilly's mother, who is so ... opposite!

Burke looked like he just rolled out of bed, his dark mocha hair everywhere and plenty of stubble. But he always looks like that. He even goes to work like that. It's his signature look.

"They're okay," I said dully. "My mom left for work again."

He strained to remember. "Ah ... what does she do again?"

"She's an anthropologist," I said, prepared to explain what an anthropologist is. It's been a while since we talked about her. It's like she's not around often enough to even mention.

"Anthropology!" His eyes twinkled. "Ah, yes! Very interesting subject! Very research-intensive. She must be very, very ... very busy when she's at work, yes?" He had a habit of repeating a word until he could figure out what word he wanted next.

"Yeah," I said, "she is."

I wanted to add that she's so busy she couldn't even call after I _wrecked a car_ , but I kept that to myself. The last thing I needed was Mrs. Jacobson scolding me about not respecting my hard-working parents. Plus, she could've scolded me for other things, too.

"So how come you're from Germany," I asked, "and you have an American last name?" I'd known them forever, and they never explained it.

Then again, I never asked.

He laughed, again doing the hand gesture thing. "As you know, I teach at the university. The ah ... students ... could not say my last name, so I changed it shortly after I arrived in this country." He smiled. "Problem solved. Ah ... but, nobody told you I am from _Switzerland_?"

I bit my lip, hoping the Swiss are okay with the Germans. "Sorry," I uttered.

Lilly's mom placed her hand on his back and smiled. "I was sure I told her!" she said cheerfully. He smiled. They gazed at each other.

Lilly rolled her eyes.

"So," I asked, "Do you speak German, too?"

"I speak German," Burke said after he swallowed a forkful of beef. "I speak ah ... Italian, English, French ... ah, and Spanish also."

"Oh," I said, noticing Luke's stare. He immediately looked at Burke.

"But, anyway, ah... ah... my cousin, he just got his master's in Anthropology," he continued. "He is working on the... the... the..." he looked toward the ceiling and moved a finger clockwise in a circle. "Ah, the Trobriand Islands!" he said, snapping his fingers. "Do you know where that is?"

"I've heard of it," I said.

"Never heard of it," Luke blurted, startling me.

"That's because there are no ski resorts there," Lilly noted.

I slouched in my seat a bit, wondering if she was always so cold to him, or if I caused that.

Luke laughed and shook his head. "You never cease to amuse me, Lil!"

She put her fork down and reached over the table to slap him, but he pulled his head away. "You haven't seen me in years, Lukasz, you wouldn't even _remember_ the last time I amused you!"

He laughed. "Sure I do! You amused me the other day, when you started checking out my friend Gino!" He ignored his mother's disapproving glare, raised his eyebrows and gaped at Lilly.

Lilly shook her head. "Are you ever going to mature?"

He impaled his meat. "I _am_ mature."

Her eyebrows pinched. "Really? Could've fooled me, clowning around, dating my friends and stuff."

"Friend."

"What?"

"Friend." He made air quotes. "' _Friends_ ' is plural!"

"I know English, Lukasz."

"Oh. I couldn't tell. And you can't pretend you don't have the hots for _my_ _FRIEND_ , hypocrite."

Lilly's eyes narrowed. "Gino's not your best friend..."

"But he _is_ my friend!"

"Well this is different!"

His fist hit the table. "No, it's not!"

She looked at me. A long, irritated sigh escaped her. At least she smiled right afterwards.

Did even twins not get along? I always thought they had some magical bond that made them not poke fun at each other and fight like they were me and Sullivan or something.

"Enough, now!" their mother demanded, stabbing her salad. "I'm sick of your quarrels!"

Luke looked at me again, chewing his roast beef. He wiped his hands on a napkin, threw it on his plate, pushed out his chair and hurried out of the room. Burke followed.

I finished my food quickly.

Silence.

Mrs. Jacobson was just finishing her meal when Burke came back in, sat down and finished his. He seemed upset.

"Is everything all right?" she asked, rubbing his back.

"Yes, it is fine."

Lilly and I dumped our plates in the dishwasher. Before I could compliment her mom's cooking, she grabbed my arm and dragged me up to her bedroom.

Her room is plastered in pink—even her canopy and laptop are pink. The wall-size poster of Johnny Depp sticks out like a sore thumb, because it's the only thing that isn't pink. I think she's the real-life Barbie. Heck, she looks like her, too.

She needs a convertible.

On the carpet, she patted the floor beside her. I sat. She reached for her stereo remote and turned on Celine Dion. Then she started skipping songs like every song reminded her of some guy she didn't want to remember. She stopped on _Incredible_.

I had a hard time understanding what the problem was with her and Luke, or her and Burke, for that matter. Burke always seemed wonderful to me. He's not around a whole lot the evenings I'm over, but when he is, he's a real pleasure to be around. Her mom speaks so highly of him, too.

"I'm depressed," she mumbled, reaching into the bottom drawer of her dresser. She threw a stack of photos by my feet. "Florida."

They were pictures of her and her bikini-clad cousins on the beach. "Is this the guy you met?" I asked, pointing to a dark-haired, gray-eyed guy with his arm wrapped around her.

"That's Jason," she said with a nod. "He said he liked me. Then I told him I don't agree with sleeping with someone I'd known a mere day, and he vanished." She shook her head, her eyes narrowed. "I hope a shark ate him."

A guy dumping her? My guess is he drowned. "Sucks."

"Tell me about it! You know, guys put way too much pressure on me." She looked at me. "I'm sure you know what that's like."

Her mom called her down. After a grumpy, "I'll be right back," she hurried out.

I sat alone for a while. I jumped in place when the door opened and I saw him there.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"No, you just startled me." I made room for him on the carpet, but to my embarrassment, he just stood there, leaning into the door frame. After a silent second, I asked, "What's up with you sitting at Tom and Jake's table?"

He chuckled. "I won't be sitting with them again. There aren't enough tables in that cafeteria. It beats sitting with the pink witch, though." His eyes moved around the room and settled on me. They were icy blue and steaming hot all at once.

I licked my lips. "Why won't you sit with them again?" I asked to keep him talking—I wasn't complaining.

"First off, they were bugging me to smoke pot after school. I don't think an Olympian can do that and still be an Olympian. Second, they only talked to me because we broke up." He cleared his throat. "So yeah, hanging out with people just to have a lunch table is bullshit. I'm doing McDonald's or Denny's from now on."

I wasn't aware that we broke up, I thought it was just a fight.

Or maybe I hoped.

My gaze fell to my feet. The words "I love you" clogged my throat. And I was afraid my eyes would give it away.

"I'm moving back to California with my dad," he said. "I'm gonna finish high school there. Nothing to stay here for anyway."

California?

I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. A sob caught in my throat. I was devastated. This guy made me fall for him, made me love him, took my virginity and was leaving forever. Not that he worked very hard to get any of that.

And yet, the only regret I had was driving away.

"What do you think about that?" he asked.

I wanted to beg him to stay. I wanted to tell him I loved him so much that it hurt. I wanted to tell him he was breaking my heart. But all that came out was an angry, "Do what you want!"

I'm so freaking stubborn!

"Okay. Well, later." He made it sound so easy, tears began to roll.

He turned just as Lilly walked back in. She shut the door behind her, sat back in her spot and gave me a gift box. "My mom found your present. And the Minnie Mouse and earrings are still downstairs." She was taken aback. "Are you _crying?_ "

I opened the box. It was a cute palm tree pendant, silver with emeralds. I shook my head no, but I'm a pitiful liar.

She wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Hey, what's wrong? Did Luke upset you?"

"He's moving!" I burst into tears, completely breaking down.

She frowned.

"I don't want him to move," I sobbed. "Lilly, you were gone a few weeks and I fell so hard for him. So fast, it's crazy. I know it looks bad, but I never felt this way about anyone. I love him!"

She cradled me. "Did you tell him?"

"I can't! He doesn't feel the same. He's leaving."

She pulled the hairs out of my eyes and cupped her hands around my face. " _Tell him_. I know he loves you. He told me. And not in a nice way."

I tried to stop crying. "You and I will be better friends anyway."

She let go of my face and slapped her thighs. "Look, I told you I was sorry. You're miserable now. And he's miserable too. And both of you are making _me_ miserable! So just _tell him_ ," she pleaded. She got to her feet and pulled on my hands. "Come on. If you don't, you'll both regret it."

I grabbed a Kleenex from her dresser and wiped my eyes. My makeup looked like crap.

She pushed me out the door. "Go, go," she urged.

I walked down the hall and knocked. Lilly retreated to her room.

He opened it on my third knock and moved aside for me. I walked in and he shut the door. His room's quite dull—a window, a queen-size bed, an oak dresser and a stereo. Not really what I expected from a guy's room. Well, except for the dirty socks scattered around the frame of his bed. Kind of gross.

But you could eat off of his floor compared to Sullivan's.

He looked annoyed. I placed myself on his mattress and hugged my knees. "I don't want you to go."

"I _have to_ go."

"Why? Why do you have to go?"

"There's no reason to stay."

Our eyes locked. He looked thoughtful. "Do you love me?" I asked, getting to my feet awkwardly. "Because I still love you."

He looked toward the window. "You didn't act like you loved me last Thursday."

Aren't I entitled to _one_ mistake? "I love you," I breathed in frustration. "I'm really sorry."

"So am I." He took a step closer, nuzzled my cheek, and kissed me that mind-boggling way. I pulled him closer, kissing back vicariously. His hand crawled up my shirt, resting on my waist. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in. Not only did he manage to make me weak, but he put me in a mood, too.

And then he said, "This won't work" and let me go.

"Seriously?!" I cried. Tears flooded my cheeks. "Why don't you love me?" I pleaded pathetically.

He touched the side of my face. "We started off on the wrong foot." He stepped back and rubbed his eyes. "I've got to pack."

I took hold of his hand, but he pulled it away. "Can't you talk to me, at least?"

"Look, there's nothing to say. You dumped me because of my sister! You know how much that hurt?"

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I didn't even dump you, I just drove away! I thought it was just a fight!"

"I'm sorry, too." He leaned his back against the wall and slid his thumbs into his pockets. "Maybe it's time for you to leave."

"I don't want to leave. I want to talk."

His voice grew progressively loud. "I don't want to talk! I want you to leave! This was doomed from the start!" He hurried over to a drawer, grabbed an armful of clothes and dumped them in the suitcase on his bed. He stopped two feet short of me. "I'm gonna call my dad, see if he can get a ticket for Friday."

"Well, what about us living together after we graduate?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Do you seriously think _Lilly_ will be okay with that?"

"Yes! Ask her!"

"I'm done talking to her. She has a tendency to make drama out of absolutely nothing."

"Go ask her! She doesn't care. She just wants us to be happy! Why don't you?"

"Me? You two started this!"

"So now we're at fault and you're not!"

"I'm at fault for withholding information. The two of you are at fault for _overreacting!_ " He sighed. "Just go home. Sit with Jenna, have her hook you up with some jocks, go to college, and leave me alone!"

My mouth dropped. Was he implying that I'd turned into Jenna for sitting at her lunch table _once?_ I tried to contain myself, but the words shot out like bullets. "Well then, how about you go hang out with my jerky ex and his stupid stoner friend and brag about how fast you scored!"

"How fast I scored? You think that's all I wanted? Bragging rights?" He scowled. "Did I ever beg? Was I _ever_ anything less than a gentleman? If I was please enlighten me, so I can kick my own ass. I don't care if it took weeks, or if it took years. That's not what I'm about. And I don't appreciate being _treated_ like that's all I'm about!"

I recoiled. "I'm sorry," I managed.

He gathered his thoughts. "You know what? If I knew I'd be in this much trouble with you drama queens over this taboo brother-dating bullshit, I would still have done it. I would _still_ have kept it from you, for as long as possible. Just for another day with you. Not to score, just to be with you. You were worth it, Adonia.

"But," he added, "you deserve better than another asshole looking to _score_."

My heart was in pieces. Never before did my mouth get me into this sort of trouble. "I didn't mean to hurt—"

"Well, you _did_."

I put my hands on my hips, trying to think of a way to save whatever dignity I had left. "You broke my heart, Luke."

"And whose fault is that?" he demanded.

"I was humiliated, Luke. What does your mom think of me!"

His look softened. "The same thing she always thought of you—you're her second daughter. My mom loves you. _Addie_."

I looked at him through a film of tears. I hadn't been called _Addie_ since the ninth grade. Since the girl down the road got that butt-ugly buck tooth hairless chihuahua and gave it my pet name.

_Yeah, that suddenly made_ Adonia _an awesome name._

"I didn't talk to her often, but every time I called she talked about you," he said somberly. "She said your name is Addie. That you're always so sweet and well-mannered. That your mom is always gone. Even when my sister was grounded, she let her sleep at your place so you're less lonely; so her attempts at discipline never worked. She baked you cookies, styled your hair...put gifts for you under our tree."

My knees grew weak. Memories flooded my mind and tears drenched my eyes.

"She said maybe someday I'd meet a girl like Addie." His eyes glossed over. "And when I did, I had no clue it was you."

I sobbed, because that's all I could do.

He sighed. And after a thoughtful minute—like something serious didn't just happen—he said, "I should pack."

_He's_ still _leaving?_

I'd reached my breaking point. "You're nothing but heartbreak, Luke!" I blared. "Leave me alone!"

He crossed his arms. "I _can't_ leave you alone. You're _in my room_."

At that, I shoved him aside and stormed out. Within seconds I was out the front door, down the driveway and on the road.

He seriously called after me, even though leaving was _his_ idea.

Outside it was dark and cold. I hugged myself for warmth. My coat and tee shirt weren't quite cutting it.

Tears froze to my cheeks. It was below zero, and I walked for about half a mile before I felt like I could walk no more.

I could not believe what my life had come to. I lost a super-hot sweetheart of a boyfriend, I probably put my best friend in the worst position ever, I screwed up Mom's Jeep, I ruined Dad's career, I flunked math, and I'm probably going to flunk everything else, too. I'm probably not going to graduate, go to college, or do anything my parents want for me. I'll make an awful living; I'll earn my pathetic summer-job paychecks for the rest of my life! I'll be a complete failure.

But I'm a failure to Mom anyway. Mom won't care.

Dad will care. Dad's the _only_ one who cares.

My fingers were numb, the tip of my nose nearly frozen. Two cars pulled over to ask if I needed a ride. I refused stubbornly. I was furious.

When I finally walked through the front door, my entire body was pale. I lit a fire in the wood stove and sat on the carpet, legs folded, watching the flames grow. My anger grew with them as my body thawed. Somehow, the cold had numbed the pain—now the pain was back. I couldn't stop shivering.

Footsteps descended the stairs. They stopped at the bottom, in the foyer. "Are you okay?"

"Where's Dad?" I asked numbly.

"He's meeting with his agent."

Great. I'd just walked three miles, and he wasn't even home to see me meet curfew! I stared blankly into the fire and pulled the blanket off the couch over my shoulders. My eyes were soaked.

I don't know how long I sat there, but when Sullivan finally sat beside me, he handed me a cup of hot chocolate, topped with a mountain of marshmallows. "Thanks," I breathed.

"You're welcome," he said. Then he sipped out of his cup and tucked his hair behind his ears. "I'm your brother," he said, "so if anyone were to upset you, you'd let me know so I can beat them up, right?"

I began to sob. Before I can answer, though, the phone rang. Sullivan answered it. "It's Mom."

While I was not in the mood to talk, I was happy she called. I took the phone.

"Hi," she said like I was an acquaintance.

"Hi, Mom."

"What happened with the Jeep?"

My shivers came back. "I ran off the road because it was icy."

"Well, I've decided you are not to drive the new one. Did your father get the message? I told him one week, but I've decided you need to learn some responsibility first!"

The _message_? She never even talked to him, she left him a _message_? "It was an accident, Mom."

"Yes, and it's not going to happen again," she assured me.

"Why didn't you call to see if I was okay?" I blurted, fearful of the answer. Despite my anger, my tone was composed, like I didn't want to piss her off, no matter how much she upset me.

"Your father left a message and said you were fine. Why would I call and ask you again? I was on a plane at the time, need I remind you! So what do you expect! I am _working_ here, Adonia!"

I'd cried my eyes dry, so I let out a dry sob and screamed, "To ask me how I'm feeling! To at least pretend you care!"

Her voice deepened. "What? How can you talk to me like this?"

I kept digging my own grave. "On top of that, you're never home! You promised to be home last Christmas and you weren't! You never see us!"

"I _can't_ be home, Adonia, I'm working on something here and I have to finish this research! I can't just leave whenever I please, I'm a responsible adult!"

"Are you?" I rubbed my eyes with my free hand. "You're not responsible enough to care about _me!_ And you're not coming home this year either, are you? Are you!"

She was silent for so long I thought she'd hung up. "Not this year, but probably by New Year's Day I'll be home, if I work hard and finish this."

"Don't you ever want to see me and Sullivan?!" I barked. "Why can't you get another job? Why didn't you take that university job you were offered?!"

"Because this job puts food on the table, Adonia! Your father's a writer, he doesn't earn a steady paycheck. Now put your father on!"

"Daddy's not home!"

"Well, where the hell is he!"

"He's out with his agent!"

"Your father doesn't work with an agent anymore, Adonia, so where _is_ he?"

"With his agent!" I screamed so loud I thought my voice was gone. Then I did something I'd never done before: I hung up.

Sullivan was stunned on the couch.

I didn't care. She deserved hearing what she did. It was a long time coming.

I sat next to him, folded my legs, and hugged them, covering myself with the blanket again. We listened to the fire crackle for a while. Sullivan asked what happened, but I didn't answer him. When my cell phone vibrated, I even ignored the call. I didn't care to talk to anyone. Not until 10:30, when Dad got home.

He stood in the doorway like a deer in the headlights—like he'd missed _his_ curfew. "What are you kids doing up?" he asked, setting down his briefcase, removing his shoes. "What's going on?"

"Where did you go?" I demanded.

He hung up his coat, briefly eyeing me. "I met with my agent."

"Mom says you don't have an agent."

His eyebrows pinched. "Oh, did Mom call?"

I stared him down. "You don't have an agent, do you, Daddy?"

He sighed and sat on the love seat across from us. After a thoughtful minute he said, "No, sweetie, I don't."

"So where were you?" asked Sullivan.

Dad tugged at his tie, loosening it. I eyed his briefcase. "I'm going to take a shower. Can you kids be in bed by eleven?" He slapped his knee and got up like we'd agreed.

Sullivan ran up the stairs to his room and slammed the door behind him.

Without uttering another word, Dad went up himself, shut the door to the master bedroom and turned on the shower.

My eyes were still glued to the briefcase. I approached it cautiously. My knees touched the cold marble floor. I glanced at the top of the stairs and flipped the lock open. My blood zipped through me as I opened it.

Inside was a _Writer's Digest_ , his laptop below it, and two folders beneath that. I opened the first. It was his manuscript. I set it down on the tiles, next to the laptop and magazine. I reached for the black folder and opened it. Inside was a bundle of papers. The header on the front page was that of a law firm. My eyes skimmed the rest of the page, and I gasped at the realization of what they were: Divorce papers.

# XVII

So how do you ask, "Why are there divorce papers in your briefcase?" to someone who doesn't know you know that there are divorce papers in his briefcase?

That's what I pondered until one in the morning. I'd put it all away, of course, and locked myself in my room. It was my fault. I wrecked the Jeep. Now my parents are splitting up, and Luke is leaving in forty-eight hours.

Lilly called hourly and left that many messages on my voice mail. Messages I stopped listening to after a while.

I lay in bed with an open notebook, trying to do my creative writing assignment. Divorce and breakups clouded my mind. Nobody wants to read about that.

I cried in self-pity. I cried for Dad; for what I'd said to Mom; for Luke; for Sullivan when he finds out what Dad was really out doing; and for the cap and gown on the hanger in my closet that may never see the light of day.

My life is falling apart.

~~~

At lunch I sat at Lilly's table. She stared, probably at the bags under my eyes. I was glad Luke wasn't in the lunchroom to see me looking as bad as I did.

"Are you okay?" Lilly asked, just loud enough for me to hear her.

I shook my head no and pushed my tray to the center of the table. "My parents are getting divorced."

"That's terrible." After a long moment she asked, "What happened?"

"Car crash started it. And I yelled at my mom last night. And at Luke. Did he call your dad for a ticket?"

She shrugged.

"He kissed me before he said it wouldn't work out, because he's your brother" I said, near tears. "Then I accused him of trying to score, when he put _no_ pressure on me. I'm such a jerk." I sighed. "At least I passed my home economics midterm."

She patted my hand and smiled. "It will get better. I promise. Call Lukasz. He's miserable."

The bell rang, and we walked to class together. Gino caught up.

"Lookin' good!" he howled after her. She wore tight polyester pants and a glittery purple top.

"Hi, Gino!" she teased, nudging him with her hip in the most inviting way.

Gino's rather cute—spiky black hair, sapphire eyes, and perfect teeth. He wore a white tee shirt under his leather jacket and baggy jeans with a chain trailing from his belt into his pocket, probably attached to his wallet.

I felt a sting of guilt for checking him out. I turned to check for Luke at my locker, but he was anywhere but there.

Gino said he was with Luke at Denny's during lunch. So at least I know he wasn't dining with some girl.

Mr. Michaels gave us thirty-five problems to spend the period on. "Practice makes perfect!" he roared, passing out the math sheets.

Lilly and I hovered over the work. I could barely concentrate, but that's no surprise. Halfway through, the teacher came by my desk and tapped my arm.

"I'll let you retake," he whispered, "on Monday after school. Just this one time." He raised his eyebrows and stood there as if he didn't know if I'd be okay with that.

"Thanks," I murmured, and got back to work, a little more awake. I was over-the-moon!

But then I realized how much studying I had to do by Monday. And this wasn't the best time to do it.

~~~

I locked myself in my bedroom and stared into my math notebook for three hours. I tried some of the problems in the textbook, but I wasn't having much luck. So I lingered there, depressed for a while, wishing Luke would call or at least _not leave forever_. He was leaving on Friday—on Teachers' Professional Development Day. What do they do on those days anyway? Coffee and donuts?

A knock on the door brought me back to reality. I opened it.

"Ready for dinner?" Dad asked, wearing all black and this ridiculous white apron. By the stains on it I hoped it wasn't lasagna again.

I shrugged and sat on the edge of my bed, gripping the carpet with my toes and fiddling with Luke's necklace.

"What's going on?"

"Dad, I saw the papers in your briefcase," I spilled, trying to think up an explanation for going through his stuff to begin with.

He hesitated. Then he placed himself next to me on the bed. "Did you tell Sullivan?"

I shook my head no.

"Okay. Let's talk about this." He looked like he was about to teach me about sex, with that semi-contorted, scared look on his face. And yes, he gave me that speech back in the day, because—surprise!—Mom wasn't around to do it. "Yes, I filed for divorce from your mother."

"It's because I crashed the Jeep, right?"

"No!" He scratched the top of his head. "It's entirely me and Mom, not you or Sullivan. Understand?"

"Why?"

"Well, Mom's always working. She's just ... lost all touch with this family." He looked down and took off the apron, holding it in his right hand. "Part of the reason is the car crash, but not because of you." He sighed. "I lied about talking to her. She called up the machine after I left her the news on her voice mail and asked how..." His voice trailed off, like he didn't want to finish what he was saying. After a moment, he added, "She asked how bad the _car_ was. That made me very mad. And before—when she was home—she was running the whole show with no regard for what I'm trying to do to raise you kids." He looked at me sympathetically. "I'm sorry this had to happen to you and Sullivan. I sincerely hope you don't hate me for this. This really feels like the sole option at this point, unless something drastic happens."

My eyes were teary. I'd cried so much in the past day that they actually hurt. "I don't hate you, Dad." I hated _her,_ for putting a car before me! Even though I wrecked her Jeep, I was hoping she'd still love me. "I think Mom hates me."

Dad wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Nobody hates you. Mom loves you. She's your mom! She's tired and she works a lot. It's just that she's changed since I married her, she's lost track of what's important." He rubbed my shoulder. "No hard feelings?"

I shook my head no.

"If you need to talk about it or have questions, just ask." He got up and walked to the door. "Until then we have to eat our spaghetti! I'll get your brother."

I thought about what he'd said. I agree with him. I'm not mad at him. And I'm glad I told Mom what I did.

I'm glad Dad works at home. Dad's always there for us, no matter how pathetic his curfews are.

# XVIII

My alarm went off shortly after seven. I went to the bathroom, took a shower, put on my makeup and blotted my lips. Then I heard frantic screaming. It sounded like Mom!

I rushed to the door and opened it slightly, sticking my head out, as I wasn't fully dressed. Sullivan peeked out, his door barely open as well.

"Why are you doing this to me!" Mom screamed. "It's just work!"

"Mary, calm down, the kids are asleep." Dad was trying to be quiet, but he was doing a really crappy job at it.

"Don't tell me to calm down, I've been up for thirty-six hours getting here! I called the kids and they said you were out with your agent, and now this?! How could you do this? And how dare you call me an _uncaring parent!_ "

"Mary—"

A door slammed. Then I heard her murmuring. I couldn't figure out what was going on. I heard Dad scream, "Absolutely not!" Then more talk I couldn't make out.

I checked my watch. I'd be late for school if I didn't go down soon, but I couldn't just walk in on a fight. And I had a feeling Mom didn't want to see me.

Sullivan and I exchanged looks. He pulled the door open and stuck his head out, confused.

"No, we can't give it another shot, Mary, not with you gone like this!"

"Why don't you get a _real_ job, Paul? That's why I'm out so much, because I have one!"

"I _have_ a real job! And who would watch these kids if I left home to work?" Then his voice lowered again, and I couldn't make anything else out until she screamed,

"It is very important to me!" Then the front door slammed. It shook the house.

Everything fell silent.

I heard hard, heavy footsteps climbing the stairs, and shut my door immediately. I lay on my bed and shook, hoping he didn't see my door close and figure out I was snooping. But it sounded like Sullivan was discovered.

I went to my closet and pulled out a pair of hip hugger jeans and a brown turtleneck sweater. After I dressed, I opened my door. Dad and Sullivan were in the hallway, but I slipped out unnoticed. I hurried down the stairs and out the door. The Jeep was gone, of course, as was my mother, probably forever. But I didn't care, because she's not around enough for me to.

~~~

I never did see Mr. Bias yesterday. So today he called up math class looking for me.

"I don't feel like going," I told Mr. Michaels, and put my head back on my desk. I didn't feel like talking about college, careers or my sex life.

I spent the day wondering where Mom went, and if she was ever coming back. It angered me. I know that I care, and it hurts.

I raised my hand and asked to go to the bathroom.

Mr. Michaels looked at his watch. "You're out of here in five minutes anyway," he said, licking his fingers and sorting through papers. "Why don't you just hold it?"

Tears are hard to hold.

"You'll be okay," Lilly breathed, setting her hand on my shoulder. I told her everything at lunch, and she told me to call Luke.

Luke's leaving tomorrow anyway. There's nothing to talk about.

The bell rang and we both hurried out. Since her chemistry class is across the hall from creative writing, I walked with her.

"Hey, Lilly," Gino said, wrapping an arm around her neck. "Wanna go to the Halloween dance tomorrow, baby?"

"Tomorrow?!" I shrieked, embarrassed afterwards.

He looked at me. "Yeah, they changed the date, since there's no school tomorrow."

I groaned.

"Gino, this is my best friend Adonia. Adonia, meet Gino Barone," Lilly said as her eyeballs rolled down his body.

"Hey, how you doin'?" He smiled. That leather jacket must be attached to his body, he wears it everywhere. "I just moved here from New York." That explained the accent. "This place ain't so cold all the time."

I grinned. "Not _yet_."

He looked surprised. Then he smiled at Lilly, pulled her close and kissed her. I walked away, before I could become jealous of her having someone. Even if that someone is the Del Monte _giant!_

I stopped abruptly in the doorway of my last class. Jake and a few others bumped into me, nudged me aside, and walked past. I was stunned to see Luke in the seat next to mine! His eyes were settled on me, his arms crossed, his hair perfect. An ungodly level of _hot_.

I walked to my seat—breathless—and sat. His cologne brought back memories. Memories that didn't belong in a high school class.

And he was staring at me—I swear!—intentionally driving me crazy. I wanted to kiss him right there. He looked and smelled so good I swear I had to stop myself.

"Okay," Mr. Tweezer started three sadly uneventful minutes later. "Today's prompt. Write what you or your character expects from the Halloween dance tomorrow. It can be fiction or nonfiction. Take ten minutes, write, and then I'll take volunteers to read their papers." He sat behind the mountain of homework on his desk.

The room quieted down, with an occasional whisper or two about the party. But when they all finally shut up, you could hear the clock tick.

I wrote fiction about Luke, of course, and about me, except their names weren't Luke and Adonia, their names were Lars and Abigail. And although Lars is not a hot guy's name, I had to use something that started with L, and I couldn't think of anything else.

I wrote fiction because, you know, this stuff will never happen in real life.

Luke's cologne still made its way to me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him, focused, like putting his soul down on paper. It was _really_ wow. I stared at him pathetically. It's hard to resist a guy who writes like that. Who looks like that. Who says the amazing things he does, and means them.

When my pen finally touched paper, Mr. Tweezer announced, "One minute."

I put down a story in sixty seconds, and it was stupid as hell.

"Pens down."

I finished my last sentence and put my pen down, not yet looking up from my paper. It was safest to pretend I was busy—I didn't plan to volunteer.

"Lauren," Mr. Tweezer picked, pointing to a girl in the back. Didn't he say _volunteers?_ It sounded more like he was calling on people. But then again, it was hard to tell with my head stuck in my notebook and my eyes peeking above the page only once.

Lauren walked to the front of the room and started reading. She claimed it was fiction, but using the names Lauren and Bradley wasn't convincing. And why would her fake characters want to make out in the janitor's closet? She finished and everyone clapped, because that's what good workshop members do to not hurt each other's feelings.

"Adonia, care to read yours to the class?" Mr. Tweezer said.

"I'd rather not," I said courageously.

"That's too bad. You need to read in front of people when you're a writer," Tweezer informed me. He motioned for the front of the room.

I stood up in front of everyone, gripping my paper so hard I crumpled it. _You and I both know what happened the last time I was nervous enough to do that!_

Everyone stared at me, except for Tom who went to sleep. I felt Luke's eyes on me. I groaned and looked to Tweezer one more time for clemency. But he just nodded the go-ahead.

"Lars and Abigail went to the Halloween dance as friends, because Lars would be nothing else. But Abigail was just happy to be with him. When the dance was over, Abigail planned to remember Lars the way he was that night, for the rest of her miserable life." I felt the redness of my face, because I wasn't breathing. It was hard to look up.

When I did, people just stared at me. Luke was frowning, biting his lower lip and hugging himself, his left foot on the edge of the desk.

Jake raised his hand. "Did Lars die?"

"No."

He shrugged. "So what happened?"

"I don't know," I said. I waited for Mr. Tweezer's permission to sit. He smiled, marked an F in his grade book, and I was seated.

Well, I don't think it was an F, but an _F_ I deserved.

"Luke Pawlak," Tweezer called. "Care to read yours?"

Luke pushed out his chair and walked to the front of the room. Did I mention how cute his butt is?

He turned toward the class and cleared his throat. "It was snowing," he started, his voice very soft. "Lyle was on his way up the mountain, ski poles in hand, skis on his feet, goggles in his Jeep..."

Lyle! That's a guy's name that starts with an L!

"At the top he looked over the landscape, watched the sunset he knew Amanda would love. At six o' clock she was there, poles in hand, skis on her feet, goggles in her new Jeep. Lyle was overjoyed to see her, he kissed her and cradled her and other things I have to censor..." He looked up from his paper as everyone giggled. Tweezer sat on his desk, rubbing his forehead.

"Anyway," Luke continued, eyeing me for a brief second, "they sped downhill, crossing paths, holding hands. When they reached the bottom, it was almost seven. They got in his Jeep and stripped down until they wore just the costumes beneath, because this story's censored." More giggles from the class. "They went to the party, hand-in-hand. They danced, drank Sprite, pretended it was champagne, and decided no one would come between them ever again. And they graduated and lived happily ever after in a really snowy place, yadda yadda yadda. The end."

Some love-struck girl raised her hand. "Are you single?" she asked, like she's about to swoon.

He shrugged. "Why?"

"Are you going to the party with anyone?" she asked, her tone excited.

I shot her a nasty look. _Get your own Greek god, that one's mine!_ I _hoped_ he's mine—it'd be very hard to find a new one!

"No," Luke said, "I'm not going as of now."

She literally whimpered.

Of course he's not. He'd be on a plane. He didn't have to worry about being dateless or being the only senior left in school who wasn't going.

"So what costumes did they strip down to?" Jake asked in a mocking tone.

Luke didn't respond.

Mr. Tweezer rubbed his forehead again. "Thank you, Luke. Next volunteer?" He shifted on his desk, causing this whole clutter of papers to drift off. He glanced at them on the floor for a second and pointed to Jake.

Luke sat back down beside me. He was silent, focused on his notebook, continuing his story. I sat, bored and reclined, arms crossed, as I watched Jake's lips move. I didn't care what words came out.

Luke tapped me on the shoulder a few minutes later. My heart fluttered. I looked at him eagerly, hoping he'd tell me that he's sorry, or that he loves me, or that he wants me back. Or all three.

His eyes pierced mine. The tips of his hair touched his eyebrows, his muscles were tight and his rippling abs firm against his tee shirt. Irresistible.

I grew more excited by the second. My eyebrows pinched hopefully, and in a soft whisper I breathed, "Yes...?"

"May I borrow a pencil?"

My smile faded and my heart sank. Devastated, I grabbed my backpack and went through it desperately. My hands were shaky and my cheeks were red. The pathetic thing is, I'd touched about a _dozen_ pencils before I actually saw one.

"Here!" I snapped, slapping it on his desk. He flinched slightly, then moved in and whispered,

"Thanks."

I zipped up my bag and threw it on the floor. Jake stopped reading for a moment and a few people looked at me.

My head fell back down on my desk. I sighed. He didn't love me. He's never going to take me back. I'm going to be single forever, because I want him and no one else.

~~~

When the bell rang after class, everyone rushed toward the door. Everyone but me and _him_.

We took our time putting things away. You know how you're hoping a certain someone will talk to you, so you take your sweet time doing everything, and you're left with this awkward silence when you're all done? It was like that. Except once his stuff was away, he resumed to normal, put his backpack on, and headed for the door.

Lilly and Gino practically fell through the door from the packed hallway, laughing and nearly crashing into him.

"Adonia!" Lilly screamed, pushing Gino away.

"Oh. Hi, Lukasz." She looked at him, then at me.

"Do you guys want to go to the skating rink? Gino wants to learn how to skate. Maybe we can double..." Her voice trailed off, her eyes moving between us again. "Maybe we can go together?"

Luke looked at me over his shoulder. "Well, I don't have anything better to do."

They all looked at me. Between my parents and studying for that math retake, I really didn't have the time. But when Luke looked away, disappointed, I blurted, "Sure."

So we got in Luke's Jeep—me up front, Lilly and Gino in back—and drove.

The two in the backseat made out, climbing all over each other the whole way there. Luke kept his eyes on the road, glancing over at me with a light smirk every now and then.

I wished _we_ could do _that_ again.

We went to the indoor rink. It was well lit and considerably warmer than the one outside. I skated around Lilly and Gino for a while, but she was too busy picking him up every time he fell.

"This is a bit different than city hockey!" he uttered, all red faced after he slipped, fell, and dragged her down with him. They laughed.

Luke sat on a bench, the laces on his skates loose. He wasn't laughing.

The place wasn't all that crowded. It had decent food; a hotdog stand, a smoothie stand, and a pizza parlor. The building was donut-shaped, with big doors and few outside windows. It had a well-heated eating area with a round glass wall, so you could see the people in the rink—or in the eating area—wherever you were.

I skated to him and plopped myself on the bench. He looked at me for a second. "It's chilly in here," he said, eyeing the pizza parlor.

"Why aren't you wearing a coat like everyone else?"

"I guess I've been used to the cold outside. But we've been in here for an hour." He looked at me. "Wanna go get something to eat?"

I smiled. "Sure."

He got up and skated to the edge of the rink, where he replaced his skates with sneakers. I did the same with my boots.

We sat close together at one of the tiny round black marble tables and enjoyed the heat gushing from the heater above. He had his pepperoni pizza and a Sprite. I had a hotdog, fries, and a double-berry smoothie.

"Can I have one?" he asked, eyeing my fries.

I gestured for him to take what he wanted. I put the sauerkraut on my hotdog and topped it with mustard. His silence made me kind of uncomfortable.

He glanced at me every so often, and that didn't help matters, either. I wanted to know if he was leaving tomorrow. So I asked him.

He looked away.

I leaned back in my seat and put my hotdog down on the plate—my appetite diminished.

Finally, he wiped his mouth, threw the crumpled napkin on the table, and said, "I didn't bother asking. My dad wouldn't go for it anyway, he's way too busy to bother with me." His look softened. "I'm moving out after I graduate. Might as well finish school here and get on with my life." He picked up his pizza and took another bite. "I like Burke better as a dad anyway."

Finally, I could breathe again, and I couldn't help the smile. "How come Lilly doesn't?"

"Lilly barely knows our real dad. As for me, it's like I didn't even live with him, it's like I lived with the sitter.

"I'm telling you, though, Burke's great with my mom. She's lucky to be with such a nice guy." He set his pizza down and slouched in his chair.

"My parents are divorcing," I whispered. "My mom's always away." Our eyes met. "I guess my dad's sick of it."

"I know how that feels. Divorce really sucks." Then he added, "Sorry."

"I'm not," I said quickly. "My mom deserves it."

Luke frowned. "Why do you feel that way?"

"Besides the fact that she cares about her Jeep more than me...?" My voice trailed off. "She asked if the _Jeep_ was okay."

"I guess that _is_ pretty messed up," he said. "If I ever get married, I hope I never have to divorce."

We swapped looks. Then he winked, and I beamed. After a few silent seconds I asked, "So, did you send the teddy bear?"

His eyebrows met. "What teddy bear?" But I could see it in his eyes.

"The one you sent me," I said with a smile.

He grinned. "I thought it would be a friendly thing to do." He finished his pizza.

A _friendly_ thing to do? I sighed.

Lilly appeared, balancing herself on her ice skates. She dropped herself into a chair at our table. "Hey, lovebirds," she said with a smile. "Mind if I join you?"

Luke looked past her. "Where's your hockey buddy?"

"You mean my boyfriend?" She looked over her shoulder. Gino was about a hundred feet away, slipping and sliding, his knees on ice, trying to stand by leaning on the bench. Once he was up, he pulled the bottoms of his black jeans from under his skates, slipped, and fell again.

"I think he's worn out," she said, turning to us again. She snuck a fry in her mouth. "Wanna go to the movies next?"

"I might have to go home," I told her, eyeing Luke. He looked at me hungrily, which I liked.

"It's not eight yet," he said, his eyes piercing mine. "Nowhere near it. Wanna go off-road?"

I blushed at the thought of off-roading again.

Lilly analyzed us for a few seconds. Then she gasped and covered her mouth. "Yuck!" she said with a face. "Count me out. I'm not getting into a car driven out in the middle of nowhere by _you_ ," she teased.

"I drove you _here_ ," Luke said.

"Yeah, on a highway!" She looked at me. "If you want to go, you have my blessing, just you and him, alone in his car, in Nowhereville, USA! Doing _God-knows-what!_ " She grinned angelically. "I'll call a cab!"

She got up and waddled back to the rink on her skates. As soon as she got through the glass doors, she took off and helped Gino up. He looked like a hopeless giant, and little Lilly looked silly, trying to get him off the ice.

"Maybe we shouldn't," Luke said, eyeing me. "I guess it was bad enough we went last time, right?" He raised an eyebrow and waited for a response.

It seemed he still thought I regret it. _I love him. He has to see that! It's obvious._ My head fell into my hands.

Then our fingers locked. His expression was solemn. Something was on the tip of his tongue. When he did speak, he simply said, "Let's go."

We turned our skates in and got our deposit. We were then out the door, waving to Lilly and Gino in line at the smoothie stand. She looked _so_ happy. I hadn't seen her like that in so long. In a way, I was jealous.

I wanted him to hold my hand as we walked to his Jeep, but he didn't. He just opened the door for me, I got in, and he shut it. He sat in his seat for a while, the heat blowing full blast. He rubbed his hands together and put them in front of the heater. "So, where to?"

I wanted to go back to our spot in the middle of nowhere, but I was too scared to say it. So I said nothing, and hoped he knew.

He put the car in gear and backed out of the parking spot.

We rode in silence until my house came into view. Not an off-road trail, but my house.

"This isn't an off-road trail!" I blurted stupidly.

He looked at me. "I know. It's your house."

I put my head in my hands and whimpered.

"You said you have to go home...?" Luke reminded me.

I sighed. "Yeah."

Luke put the Jeep in park. "Well, have a good night."

I waited for him to kiss me, or to walk me to my door. But he just sat there with his hand on the shifter, looking straight ahead, like the last two hours never even happened. I wanted to say "I love you." I wanted to pathetically beg him to take me back

I wanted to tell him I knew the difference between my house and an off-road trail.

Before anything dumber could leave my mouth, my fingers gripped the cold door handle, and I looked at him, hopefully, one last time.

"Are you going to the dance tomorrow night?" he suddenly asked.

My heart jumped. "I don't know." I took my hand off the door handle, kind of hoping I wouldn't have to leave.

"Oh," he said. He leaned his head against the headrest and looked at me, though his glance was a bit low to be pointed at my face. Then he looked back into my eyes, took a deep breath, smiled softly, and said, "If you go, have fun, okay?"

With that, he put the car in reverse and waited for me to get out.

So I did.

~~~

I went straight to Sullivan's room when I got in, because every other room was silent as night. From his room I heard those funny Yoshi sounds.

He sat in front of the television in denim shorts and a green tee shirt, playing a Super Mario game. When he heard me behind him he turned and said, "Hey."

"Doesn't this get boring after a while?" I asked.

He shrugged, looking back into the television. "Life sucks when you're a thirteen-year-old loner. And Megan's grounded."

"I know how that feels." _I wish I could meet his girlfriend, just to make sure she's real._

He ignored me and kept playing, though he didn't look like he was at his best; he lost three lives in two minutes.

My hands rose to my mouth—it was his birthday! "Happy Birthday!" I sat beside him and hoped he didn't notice I'd just remembered. Up close, I saw that his face was tear-stained. He'd been crying. "Where is everyone?"

"They went to a marriage counselor," he said, "because they have to for the divorce. Or something like that." He hit the pause button and looked at me. "They didn't even remember my birthday."

"I'm sure it wasn't on purpose. They're going through some tough times now."

"Mom quit her job," he uttered.

My mouth dropped. "What!"

"She quit, without notice. I think she's professionally screwed." He hugged his knees, still focused on me. "She cried for a very long time."

I stared into oblivion. I was in shock. "Did you even go to school today?"

He shook his head no. "I've been up here since noon, when they left. I'm missing school a lot lately."

I wondered why they were seeing a counselor for that many hours. I thought maybe they were completing the divorce, but doesn't that take time? Like months or years?

I rubbed his hair, making it static. "I'll cook you something," I offered.

"Lasagna?"

I smiled. "Lasagna." He's hopeless.

Who wants _lasagna_ on their birthday, anyway? Aside from Garfield....

# XIX

At ten-to-noon, I got out of bed, put on my bathrobe, and headed downstairs. I smelled an omelet. I was thrilled Dad decided to make some so late in the morning for lazy little me. But when I stepped into the kitchen, Dad wasn't there—just Mom—in a white bathrobe herself, chewing on the pencil eraser, staring into a huge pile of papers spread out over half the table. More were scattered all over the floor.

She looked at me awkwardly. "Hi," she breathed. She got up and put my omelet and home fries on a plate, the plate on the table.

"Thanks," I practically whispered. I sat and ate. After a while she seemed to forget I was there, so I asked, "What is that?"

She looked up. "I'm working on a genealogy chart. I have to complete this to get paid. How are you? I didn't see you yesterday."

"Did you quit your job?"

She took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes. Her hair looked stringy. "Yes, I did. I put in a resume at the museum this morning."

"Where's Dad?"

She pointed to the ceiling. "He'll be down soon."

I'd finished my omelet by the time he came down. He was smiling, dressed in gray jeans and a black shirt, manuscript in hand. To my shock, he bent down and kissed the top of her head. Then he grabbed himself some coffee. "So, no more divorce?"

Mom and Dad exchanged looks. "We're going to give it another shot, with me around a bit more. That's what the marriage counselor recommended. The sole reason for the divorce is my job, which I no longer have." Mom smiled and shrugged. "Is that all right with you?"

I nodded, kind of happy, though I was still upset about the Jeep. So, counselors do things to _help_ people? I'm impressed!

"That's great," I said, pushing my empty plate aside.

Dad sat next to me. "Did you decide if you're going to college?"

What, I had a choice? "Not sure yet." I felt a bit intimidated.

Dad sighed. "Well, just make sure you make the right decision." He raised his eyebrows and sipped his coffee, digging through his manuscript, spreading his work out over Mom's. "If you want to be a writer, you should get a degree in _something_."

"It'd be nice if you went to the same school as Luke, wouldn't it? If he decides to go, that is," Mom suggested, removing her glasses. Dad gave her a look, picked up his coffee, kissed the top of my head and said,

"I have a date with my publisher in an hour. Have a good day, sweetie."

"There's a Halloween dance that starts at seven tonight. Can I stay out after eight?" I asked, just in case.

Dad stopped in his tracks and glanced at Mom. He looked at me briefly. "Be home by eleven." Then he walked out.

I squealed merrily, but when my eyes met Mom's, I grew serious.

"So what's with you and Luke?" she asked, sipping her coffee. "Still together?"

"Yeah," I said awkwardly. I thought I had an idea of how to patch things up.

She put her glasses back on.

My next topic made me a bit hesitant, but I wanted to see her reaction. "He asked me to move in with him after we graduate."

She looked surprised. "Oh?"

I cleared my throat and looked at her. "What do you think?"

She glanced at me, then back down at her work. "It's your call." She shrugged. "You're eighteen in February."

I smiled. "Dad wouldn't mind?"

She waved that thought off. "Your dad is just being a dad. It's your life. Besides, your dad and I moved in together before we were married."

I chuckled at Dad's hypocrisy. And I was surprised that my mom was so cool with me and Luke.

Mom smiled. "Listen, I'm sorry about being so nasty over the phone...."

I realized just then it wasn't her talking over the phone, but the stress. "It's okay, Mom. I know you were just upset and stressed."

"Thanks, sweetheart."

Now if only Luke was still my boyfriend...

I sighed hopelessly, just as my cell phone vibrated. I answered it.

"It's me," Lilly said. "Can I come over?"

~~~

"Are you going?" Lilly whined. It was three o'clock, and we were sitting on my bedroom carpet, doing each other's nails. She wore a hot pink sweater, bellbottom jeans, and was stretched out over my floor, barefoot. I wore my jeans and a dark gray shirt with a built in bra and plenty of padding.

"Probably not," I muttered, squinting at her tiny toenails. "Why do you need pink toenails?" I asked. "It's zero degrees out. It's not like anyone will see them!"

She giggled. "You never know...."

I rolled my eyes. All she ever thought about was Gino. "Well, thanks for doing my nails," I mumbled. I blew at her toenail to help the paint dry. "I don't usually wear nail polish because I don't want chemicals near my contacts."

"You're paranoid!"

"Perhaps." I tightened the top on the nail polish bottle and looked at my fingernails. "It's so cool that you had turquoise!"

After a few seconds she said, "Do you like Gino?"

I grinned bashfully. "He's not my type," I lied. Translated that means, "He's not a Greek god."

"Is anyone other than _my brother_ your type?"

After a moment she added, "I thought not."

"Your brother's smoking hot," I blurted with an even bigger grin. "Too bad he's your brother, huh?"

She stuck her fingers in her ears and closed her eyes. "Gah! I can't hear you!"

I pulled her hands away from her head. She opened her eyes and looked at me. "I'm serious, Lilly! Do you notice how every girl in school looks at him? He's a Greek god!"

She laughed. "I can assure you, Lukasz is not Greek!"

I cleared my throat. "So where is he?"

"No idea. He wasn't home when I woke up this morning. Even asked Mom about him. He's gone! But that's not all that unusual, with him practicing like a mad man to be an Olympic champion and all." She looked up from her toenails. "We all think he's nuts, by the way."

I chuckled.

"Dad got him a personal trainer, you know. He meets with him twice a week now. Lukasz won't let me meet him, though. I'm thinking it's because the guy's hot! My mom saw him, but she won't say."

I wiggled my nose at the nail polish scent in the air. "Does your mom hate me?"

" _Why_?"

"Because she walked in on us when we were all fighting and she overheard ... you know!"

Lilly waved her hand at me. "Don't worry about it."

Like _that_ made me feel any better! I love her mother. And I don't care what Luke says, what woman would like a girl who did it with her son?

"I'm telling you, if I don't care, she won't care. This isn't the Middle Ages. And just think, when you guys get married, we'll be related!"

"Married?"

She nodded, blowing at her fingernails. "That's what I said. _Married_. You and that 'hot' brother of mine! You know, tie the knot? Get hitched? Walk down the aisle?"

"Like that's gonna happen ... especially now!"

"Hey, if you told me a month ago that you'd lose it to my brother, I would've said the same thing! So you never know!" She shrugged and moved her nails into the light. "Wow, they glitter!" Brief silence. "You're going to make it, then?"

"I don't know," I whined.

"Well, if you _do_ make it, I will be the Bride of Frankenstein, and you know who my groom will be!"

Gino was certainly big enough to be Frankenstein. He had a long forehead, too. And here I thought she'd be going as a pink princess!

"It's gonna be _so_ much fun, before, and maybe even _after!_ " She laughed wickedly. "I'm kind of nervous about it, but I definitely think he's the one!" She got to her feet. "Okay, so I better get out of here and buy my costume, and my groom's costume, too! We put them on layaway the other night." I got to my feet and she gave me a hug. "Try to come, okay?"

I nodded. That meant I too had to buy a costume. Of course, I like the idea of buying _more than one!_

"Maybe we could have a slumber party tonight at my house!" She grinned. "Like we could double date and watch a movie. Then we could make the boys sleep in the doghouse!"

"You don't have a dog," I mentioned.

She sighed wistfully. "Yeah, I should get one someday, so I can get a doghouse. I think I'll paint it hot pink! Anyway, ask your mom! It'll kick butt if you can sleep over."

"I'll ask," I said doubtfully.

She stepped back. "And tell that brother of mine he can't hide his fixation with you any longer!" She winked—it was _so_ familiar!

I broke into a grin. "Sure, Lilly," I said as she walked out the door, "say what you may."

Then I got a costume idea!

"It's true!" she hollered as I followed her down the stairs. "I'm telling you, all he does is mope. It's worse than when he first arrived home from the airport, single and bored. It's worse by, like, one thousand percent! He's absolutely worthless, I tell you!"

~~~

Luckily Dad got home at 4:45. The second he came in, I practically jumped on him. "Dad, can I have the keys, please?" I couldn't ask Mom for her keys, because she left at around 3:30 to drop her paperwork off at the office. I doubted she'd let me drive anyway.

So I gave Dad a puppy dog look, put my hands together and pleaded. He stood in the doorway, his hair spiked up, his eyes focused on me.

"I'll be very careful," I promised, "if you let me drive your car."

He laughed, took his shoes off, and walked over to the couch. "I don't know about that, sweetie."

"I do," I said. " _Please?_ "

"Why doesn't Lilly pick you up?"

"Because her boyfriend's the one picking _her_ up...." Well, that _could_ be true!

He raised his eyebrows and opened his new issue of _Writer's Digest_. "She's got a boyfriend?"

"Dad, she's almost eighteen, of course she's got a boyfriend!"

"And why can't Luke come pick you up?"

"Well, he's with Lilly."

Dad looked perplexed. "Wait! He's _your_ boyfriend, why is he with Lilly?"

"Because they're twins, Dad!"

"Twins! With your best friend? That could get very awkward when you're older!"

I rolled my eyes. I wanted to say, "It's _awkward now_ ," but that would get me grounded for life, and my sole purpose in life just then was to get the keys.

"Well!" Dad said thoughtfully, "That explains why he had me drop him off at the corner of Sunny Dale Road that night I drove him home!" He shook his head. "I didn't even suspect."

_It would have been_ so _helpful if he gave me this information sooner!_

"Dad?" I begged. "Please?"

He dug into his briefcase. "By the way, you got a letter from one of those Canadian schools."

I cut him off in a hurry. "I'll read it later," I barked, holding my hands out, giddy for the keys.

He threw them to me. "If it gets icy out there, you pull over wherever you are and you call me, do you understand? Mom or I will come and get you."

I nodded and put on my boots, my coat, my hat and gloves. "Dad, can I sleep over at Lilly's?"

"What? Luke's her twin! He lives there!"

"Their parents will be there, Dad, you can call and check anytime. Pretty please?"

I secretly hoped Luke's mom didn't have anything she wanted to discuss with my dad.

Dad sighed and looked through his magazine. Lilly's always the one sleeping over; I wanted to sleep over at _hers_ for once.

"It's about ten below. Dress warmly," Dad warned as if I never asked.

I waited, biting my lip. "So, can I?"

"Can you what?"

I gave him a look.

He scratched the back of his head. "I'm calling her house throughout the night, and her mother better be there, understand? If she's not, I am coming to pick you up, and I guarantee you, I won't be happy doing it. _Don't_ let me find out there won't be any parental supervision." He looked stern. "Does Mom know the number?"

I nodded.

"Okay then, see you before noon tomorrow."

"Thanks, Dad!" Like a flash I ran out, unplugged the car, jumped in, started it, and backed out of the garage. I didn't bother closing the garage door. Surely someone else would if they had a problem with it.

The first stop was at the mall for costumes. I saw the ones I wanted the last time I went. Luckily they were still in stock. But this time the store was packed, and the line was long. I picked the sizes I thought we needed and spent the final hundred dollars left over from my summer job.

At 5:52 I turned into the Grizzly Mountain ski resort. My skis were rented by 5:58, and I headed for the expert trail.

In a way I felt silly, meeting him in a place and time he wrote about in a story. I hoped so bad he'd be there.

At the top it was windier than usual. The sun was sinking behind the silhouette of the Alaska Range. The sky was clear—cloudless—with an explosion of color, mostly dark and pale purple, pink, and orange on the horizon. Overhead, the sky was filled with stars that shined brighter by the minute.

Pulling the scarf from my face, I looked around. I squinted and wiped frost off my face. The wind howled. It was so cold I shivered, even under all those clothes.

I skied slowly toward the warning sign I dreaded so much less than a month ago. Someone stood by it. Someone who didn't wear goggles. It was Luke, with his eyes narrowed from the smile his scarf covered. He pulled it away from his face and waved a pole at me.

"Hi, Amanda!"

I giggled. "Hi, Lyle!"

We met halfway and pulled each other's hats off. Our hair danced wildly in the wind. He pulled me close and kissed me. It was warm enough to thaw my frozen ... everything. My fingers laced in his hair, and his in mine.

I so didn't want him to let me go. It felt like I'd been waiting for this forever. I thought I'd lost him, and it would never happen again. And now it did. And I didn't want it to end. Ever.

When we parted, he put my hat back on, kissed my forehead, and said, "I like my story better than yours."

I hugged him. "I do, too."

"I've missed you," he uttered in my ear, making my spine tingle. He kissed me again. That breath-stealing kiss that made time stand still, and my heart flutter. We pulled apart just in time to see the sun dip below the horizon.

"That's almost as beautiful as you are," he breathed.

My cheeks felt warm, even through the frost. I kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Lyle."

He chuckled and squeezed my hand. "Well, I'm freezing my ass off! Wanna go to that dance with me?"

"I don't think I have a choice," I said. "Your sister's been bugging me all afternoon!"

"Oh, yeah?" he said in surprise.

"Yeah!"

He moved some stray hairs out of my eyes. "What else has she been bugging you about?"

I touched his frigid cheek. "Calling you."

"Wow. So she does listen to me!"

"Why, did you bug her to bug me?"

He shrugged with a smirk. "Maybe. Maybe not."

"Well, she also bugged me about sleeping over at your house tonight."

"And?" he asked with a wolfish grin.

I wrapped my arms around him. "And I just might."

He pecked my cheek and trailed his mouth to my ear. "You're getting me all excited."

I blushed and kissed the corner of his mouth. "Do you have a costume for tonight?"

He gasped and slapped his forehead. "No! I thought I'd go as a handsome stud!" He winked.

"Well, I've got something better!"

"No way! What am I going as?"

"You'll see," I said, pulling him toward the beginning of the trail.

"If this trail doesn't kill me, the suspense will!"

"Don't worry," I laughed, "it's perfect for you!" I picked up speed. I pulled my scarf over my nose and narrowed my eyes.

"Watch for moose!"

"Ha-ha!" Then I tried to push him over, but he saw it coming and ducked. And he beat me the whole way down.

~~~

In Luke's foyer, I handed him his bag. "You never told me what it is." He smiled nervously.

"You'll like it. It suits you."

"It's not Peter Pan in tights, is it?"

I laughed and headed for the half bath. Inside, I dropped my clothes and pulled out the glittery white Toga with the gold ribbon shoulder straps and belt, the gold sandals and the golden wreath. The sandals would have to wait for school, and I'd just have to freeze with nothing but a coat over the toga.

It fit like a dream! My reflection in the door mirror made me giggle. I looked awesome!

After putting my hair up in a neat bun and crowning myself, I went into the living room, where his mom waited to see us off.

She clapped her hands when she saw me. "Adonia! You look beautiful, honey! I'm so glad you two are together," she said. "You're _so_ good together!"

"Really?" I sat on the couch. It meant so much to hear her say that.

She nodded. "Really! Now he can stop moping and be useful for a change!"

I giggled. "Mrs. Jacobson? How come you never mentioned him?"

She looked remorseful. "Some things are too hard to talk about, dear. And he didn't stay put long enough for me to talk to him much, anyway."

"Well, he turned out wonderful!"

She embraced me. "He's wonderful for _you_ , too."

I squeezed her tight. "I know."

She squeezed me tighter. "I love you, honey."

I burst into tears, this time of joy. "Thank you, Mrs. Jacobson."

She kissed the top of my head. "You know I'm always here for you. And there's no need to thank me."

I wiped my eyes. Steps descended the stairs. Seconds later he stood in the doorway, wearing his white toga with the single gold ribbon for a shoulder strap. Gold sandals clad his feet (they fit!), his hair was perfect and his face was beet red.

He kept trying to hide his face with his hand, but finally he put his hands to his sides and asked, with a shy grin, "Um, why are we dressed like the Romans?"

His mom laughed. "You're a very handsome Roman, Lukasz."

He rolled his eyes and tore off the tag hanging from his toga. "Greek God," he read, and frowned. "Did Lilly put you up to this?"

I could barely contain myself. "No, not at all!" If he only knew! I sank back into their leather couch and gripped my heart dramatically. I couldn't get over how hot he looked!

His face flushed and his head fell into his hands, humiliated. "I'm supposed to wear this in public?"

But he was hot as hell with those bulging arms!

I had no doubts that he was a Greek god all along!

"Everyone's wearing a costume, don't worry! Besides, we match!"

Luke took a few steps toward me and took my hand. "All right. Ready to go, Aphrodite?"

I squeezed his hand and we headed for the foyer.

Once my boots were on, we threw on our coats, I held my sandals, and we stepped out into the cold.

He freaked as powdery snow flooded his sandals. "On the other hand, maybe this was not the best idea! That's what I get for being lazy! Holy shit!" He bounced about, trying to keep his feet from sinking into the snow.

"Have fun you two!" Mrs. Jacobson shouted, waving from the front door.

Burke's Volkswagen pulled into the driveway just as we made our way to the Jeep.

"Lukasz," he said a moment later, patting him on the back. We'd stopped to say hi to him. "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"Don't ask!" Luke laughed.

Burke chuckled. "You'll come back home tonight, yes?"

"Yeah, I live here!"

Burke nodded. "Yes, thank God!"

"You're welcome!" Luke yelled.

Burke looked at me. "You look nice in your dress too, young lady!"

I grinned. I absolutely _love_ this family! "Thanks, Burke. You look well too!"

He nodded and met his wife at the door. "Thank you!" he shouted back.

Luke opened my door and winked at me. "Better hurry, or we'll be late for the ball! Not just that, but my toes may fall off!"

~~~

We got to school at eight. The place was packed with students, teachers, and—ugh!—guidance counselors.

The music was loud, coming from a stage by the far wall of the gymnasium. A 63-inch television was mounted on the wall above the stage, playing music videos, mostly from scary movie soundtracks. The lights were dim, the fruit punch was plentiful, and the dance floor was crammed.

We made our way past Bigfoot, Count Dracula, the Cookie Monster, Snow White, Peter Pan, Wendy, zombies, devils, angels, and a few vampires. Frankenstein and his bride were easy to spot, flirting in a corner, stealing kisses. Anna was even with them—a witch—drinking punch and at least _trying_ to dance. She looked over my costume and gave me a thumbs-up, munching on a caramel apple.

"Lukasz! Adonia!" Lilly waved our way, on an ultimate sugar rush. Her eyes twinkled and her face was flushed. "What are you two _wearing_!"

We made our way over. "He's a Greek god, didn't you know?" I checked him out again. "And I'm his goddess!"

"Aw, how sweet!" Gino teased, giving Luke a high five. "Nice dress, Zeus!"

Luke shook his head and shoved him lightly. "It's a toga! Don't make me hit you with a lightning bolt!"

Gino laughed obnoxiously. "Hey, there's a mountain of candy over there if you guys want some!"

He turned to Lilly. "You want more?!"

"I don't think I could handle more! But if you feel the need, go get me some, cutie!"

Luke wrapped his arms around my neck, pulled me close and kissed me. Wildly.

When we were done, Lilly looked disgusted. "God!"

"What?" we asked.

She shook her head. "That was so gross!"

We laughed. When Gino came back with candy for her, she had no problem kissing _him_ that way.

"Lilly, that was so gross!" Luke mocked.

Lilly rolled her eyes and sipped more punch.

Luke gripped my waist. "You've got great taste in friends, Lil!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know!" She pointed into the crowd. "Look, Jenna came as Little Bo Peep!" She laughed.

Anna tapped my arm. "They're gonna do the _Lambada_ soon. Mr. Michaels' idea," she said, chewing on a Snickers bar. "You guys wanna join?"

I made a face. "How do you do the _Lambada_?"

Anna shrugged. "Mr. Michaels is there teaching people." She pointed with her candy bar. "Wanna watch?"

"Sure," Luke answered for me, pulling me along. "After we get some punch and candy!"

We walked past Tom's corpse on the dance floor, dancing dirty with Little Bo Peep. "She dates corpses now?" Luke laughed.

I shook my head, somehow feeling sorry for her. I felt sorry for anyone who got with Tom.

By the time we made it to the other side of the gymnasium, the _Thriller_ video came on. Everyone turned toward the TV and started dancing like zombies. Mr. Michaels stood in the corner, a chicken in suspenders. He looked bummed, as all his students seemed to have lost interest in the _Lambada_.

"That reminds me!" I hollered, gripping Luke's arm. "Can you help me study for a retake in math?"

His eyebrows met. "What! A goddess like you has to take a _retake_? How can that be?"

"Well, I was so miserable and hungry and missing you that I failed my midterm!"

He grinned and shook his head. "You're such a drama queen!"

"So what do you say?"

He sipped some punch and wrapped an arm around me. "I say I love you! So. Freaking. Much."

I grabbed his bicep. "What do you say about _studying_ , Lukasz?"

He wiped his forehead. "Yeah, we'll hit the books tonight!"

"Or tomorrow...?" I breathed in his ear.

He grinned devilishly. "Even better!"

As we watched people dance, it suddenly occurred to me that Jake wasn't there. The thought of him alone at home made me grin. Yes, I've got a bit of a mean streak, but what girl doesn't, deep down, you know?

Someone tapped my shoulder.

I turned to see Mr. Bias, dressed like a Hawaiian tourist. Complete with a camera, khaki shorts, a tropical button-up shirt, sandals and an iced tea with one of those umbrella straws. _Shocked._

"You like it?!" he asked, all wide eyed with that eternal smile.

"It fits you like a glove!" I shouted.

He shook his head. "It's not a glove, it's a tourist outfit! I'm in Hawaii!"

Luke laughed. "No, sir, you're in Alaska, USA! It's dark, ten below and windy out!"

I giggled, though Mr. Bias' smile faded momentarily. I said, "I like the outfit!" and it returned.

"You look good too!" He pointed at Luke. "The two of you match!

"And you missed my office visit!" he informed me.

"I know! I haven't wanted to talk about it lately! But while you're here, I guess we can talk quickly?" Not that I had a choice.

He pointed his nose at Luke. "Is that your boyfriend?!"

"Yeah!"

He looked dubious. "Want to talk about him?!"

"No!" I laughed, hoping that was the end of it.

Mr. Bias bobbed his head to the beat of the music. "I got something back from a University in British Columbia! It says you're accepted! Congratulations!"

I raised my eyebrows. "Really!"

He nodded. He took a bite of his candy bar and sucked on the umbrella straw. After a minute he waved. "See me next week! We'll talk about financial aid!" Then he danced into the crowd.

Luke looked at me uncertainly. It felt odd, being told I got into college. It was exciting and scary.

"I'm glad I decided to stay!" Luke shouted. "Otherwise I wouldn't be here with the prettiest girl in school, wearing _this!_ "

I laughed, looked into his gleaming eyes and adjusted his wreath. "I'm glad, too!"

After an awkward silence, he put his mouth up to my ear and said, "So I guess you're going to college, huh?"

I thought for a minute. Then I said, "Yeah."

He smiled, but eventually looked down halfheartedly.

"You know," I noted, "there's snow in British Columbia! And you're practically dressed for the Olympics anyway!"

He beamed and kissed me. The kind of mind-blowing kiss where everyone and everything around us just fades out.

I opened my eyes in the middle of it, just to be sure he's real. Nope, I wasn't imagining him—a Greek god really was kissing me. I gripped his toga strap like he's a million bucks!

Next in this series:

BOOK OF LUKE

MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER, Book 2

FINDING TROY

MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER, Book 3

MAKING UP BLAKE

MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER, Book 4

YEAR OF LUKE

MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER, Book 5

SAVING GINO

MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER, Book 6

Other books by Chrissy Favreau:

LIFE WITH JESSE DANIELS

JESSE DANIELS REIMAGINED

For updates on new books,

including new books in this series, visit:

www.ChrissyFavreau.com

