Glorious leader Malcolm Turnbull
has shown why he is considered to be
the slam dunk champion of the world
by conducting a slam dunk in front of a crowd
with much wisdom and success!
Boomshakalaka!
Okay...
Good take.
Maybe we could lose the Korean outfit though.
You're not Korean
Oh.
Oh right.
I was lucky enough to do an internship with Ri Chun-Hee
She’s the best journalist in North Korea.
She’s also the only journalist in North Korea.
But it’s still an achievement.
She taught me everything I know.
It took about two minutes.
A new Newspoll today shows
46% of Australians think Malcolm Turnbull is
a better supreme leader
than feeble goblin-boy Bill Shorten.
There was much rejoicing in the streets with the return
of Dear Leader’s leather jacket.
The stock market is up 500%
and many are now wearing leather jackets
to honour our Dear Leader
including famous movie stars
like Jimmy Dean.
It goes without saying that SBS
we’re all about diversity but
working with Mark...
has provided some unique challenges.
Hey, Mark
this story about Malcolm Turnbull shooting a basketball
You've written...
“Upon witnessing the strength and accuracy
of the Supreme Leader
Lebron James shed many large tears
and vowed never to pick up a basketball again."
Do you have a source for that statement?
Malcolm’s glory is self-evident and does not require sources.
Supreme Leader Malcolm Turnbull has
lost his 19th straight Newspoll
cleverly outwitting naysayers
who claimed he could only lose 18!
Recently after some feedback
we decided to take Mark off voiceover duty.
Okay, Mark, we just need you to say
“The Reserve Bank has maintained interest rates.”
Got it.
The all-knowing Reserve Bank has
has maintained interest rates!
Because they are perfect and virtuous!
We thought things might improve
if we moved Mark to sport
That didn’t work either.
Australia has once again been crowned
Most Charitable Nation on Earth
after donating the Bledisloe Cup to New Zealand
for the 15th straight year!
Such generosity!
Great sportsmanship!
Ultimately, we decided to part ways with Mark
There’s just no place in the Australian media landscape
for that ridiculous, one-sided presenting style.
I mean, other than Sky News.
