I recently felt inspiration flow through
me for no reason and decided I had to
tell the good word about OCEAN the
psychological profile developed by
Canadian psychologist Jordan B Peterson.
OCEAN is an acronym that stands for
openness conscientiousness extraversion
agreeableness and neuroticism. These five
traits are the only things that define a
person. They were created three billion
years ago as jordan peterson himself
crawled out of the ocean and laid the
eggs of what would one day become humanity.
I'm gonna be diving deep into these five
terms and explaining what each of them
mean
openness: as jordan Peterson has
explained in ancient Sumerian writing openess is
quite simply how open a person is to new
experiences the opposite of openness is
closeness and the two exists on a linear
spectrum like this. open people are more
likely to have more sexual partners be
more creative and do drugs, I myself am
open and as a result I you know I've
done drugs and I'll never forget the
first time I tripped—Jordan Peterson
appeared to me he appeared to me just
out of nowhere and he stared he stared
at me and he said something something
slow
"Bucko" he said. open people are more likely
to get distracted they're more likely to
view events as abstractions of those
events and as ideas rather than concrete
events themselves close people tend to
do better working within confines so
they would probably enjoy the stability
of a nine-to-five or a long-term
monogamous relationship. it's funny I
actually used to be a lot more open but
ever since I accepted Jordan Peterson as
my Lord and Savior I've become a little
more closed. now whenever someone
challenges any of his ideas I defend
them online.
overly open people just don't know what
to believe and overly closed people
believe what they believe so strongly
that nobody can convince them otherwise
Think for example like flat-earthers
or climate change deniers that believe
what they believe despite overwhelming
evidence to the contrary
 Oh Jordan
Peterson's a climate change denier guess
it's not real
Conscientiousness is your
desire to obtain status in society
highly conscientious people aim to climb
to the top of corporate ladders make as
much money as possible become famous or
just get everybody to admire and respect
them; low conscientious people aren't
going to die of a stress-induced heart
attack at the age of 35 as jordan
peterson has sadly predicted my future
will be 
as my personal best friend
mentor and lover Jordan Peterson told me
personally men are more likely to be
more conscientious than woman and this
is because of genetics and definitely
not because of any social conditioning
at all. what's that JP? oh he also says he
wants me to say that this is why you
typically see men in positions of power
and all this is unrelated to any ideas
of sexism in the workplace, thanks JP. I
myself am a fairly conscientious person
I actually used to be less conscientious
before but ever since my god Jordan
Peterson told me that if I didn't
achieve my biblical destiny I was going
to be devoured by postmodern neo-marxist
chaos dragons so gotta succeed
to learn about extraversion I actually astral projected to the Jordan Peterson realm
where his essence had consumed an entire upper dimension
communicating to me through the air that I breathed he explained to me that if meeting people
gives you energy then you tend to be
more of an extrovert but if interacting
with people drains your energy then
you're probably more of an introvert and
if you're a mix then you're an ambivert
Extroverts are more likely to have many
friends that are not very closely
connected to exhibiting extraversion
while introverts are more likely to be
extra virgin but it's okay Jordan
Peterson says I'll get some in the
afterlife I actually used to be more of
an extrovert like I would go to parties
and I meet a bunch of different people
but ever since my visit to the Jordan
Peterson realm I stopped wanting to
leave the house
I've stopped eating I've stopped
sleeping I've stopped being able to
trust 
Agreeableness as Jordan Peterson
in lobster form explained to me in a
dream one night is once propensity to
agree with others 
on the surface that sounds like a good thing but people who
are too agreeable risk losing their
identity to whoever they're talking to
at the time and getting taken advantage
of but people that ask them for things
for example when Jordan Peterson
appeared to me in lobster form he told
me he wanted me to make this video he
wanted me to make all these points and
tell everybody about them but I didn't
want to but I did it anyway because I'm
overly agreeable and also because I was
worried that he would decapitate me with
his monstrous lobster claws
Neuroticism:
6 headed snake deity Jordan Peterson
actually told me that more conscientious
people are more likely to be less
neurotic at least when they're doing
that which achieves goals for them I
myself was not neurotic at all until I
saw Jordan Peterson's true form some
people say that if you think that the
myers-briggs personality test is
bullshit then you have no reason to
think that the ocean test is valid just
because Jordan Peterson mentions it a
couple times they argue that personality
tests can provide helpful labels for
people taking the tests but that these
tests should be used to describe traits
of a person not prescribe how a person
should act they say that people define
themselves as open or conscientious or
extroverted or agreeable or neurotic and
then act in the way that they describe
themselves as because they want to
uphold their identity and that's
dangerous because we should let people
be however they are and not try to
control them Jordan however Jordan
Peterson who at this point had become
one with the universe and thus melded
with my very mind told me that these
people were wrong and they are wrong
they are I was going to disagree but I
can't I'm just too agreeable and now
I've been reduced to not
but a combination of personality sliders
I'm no longer a person instead I'm
simply the embodiment of an archetype
the archetype of the god Jordan Peterson
who will one day rise from the ocean and
lay waste to mankind babbling words that
no one can understand I need to clean my
room
