>> THANK YOU!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
>> OKAY ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT ALL
RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!
IT'S AN EXCITING TIME RIGHT NOW.
MY SON JUST TURNED 15.
AND I THINK EVERY PARENT IN HERE
WILL AGREE WITH ME, ESPECIALLY
IF YOU HAVE A 15-YEAR-OLD, THIS
IS THE DIRTIEST ROOMMATE I'VE
EVER LIVED WITH, HANDS DOWN.
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M RAISING A
KID OR TAKING CARE OF A MONSTER.
HE'S ALSO THE CREEPIEST DUDE
I'VE EVER LIVED WITH.
HE IS DOING THINGS NOW THAT HE
DIDN'T THINK I DID.
TOOK A SHOWER FOR 45 MINUTES,
COMES OUT HEAD'S DRY.
I'M LIKE JOE YOU DIDN'T TASE A
SHOWER.
HE'S LIKE YEAH, I DID.
I'M LIKE JOE YOU HAD BED HEAD.
HE'S LIKE THAT'S THE STYLE.
I'M LIKE STOP JOE, YOU KNOW I
WAS 15 TOO, RIGHT?
EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING I DID
ALREADY.
I WAS A PRO AT IT!
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND
I, I WAS A LOT MORE SLICK ABOUT
IT.
SO JUST TRICK ME, JOE, NEXT TIME
YOU TAKE A LONG SHOWER, JUST WET
YOUR HEAD!
(APPLAUSE)
MY SON LOOKED AT ME LIKE THIS,
HE WAS LIKE ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
AND I WAS LIKE BRO, YOU THINK
I'M GOING TO SHAKE YOUR HAND?
I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT HAND.
GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH!
HE SAID I DID ALREADY.
I GO NO YOU DIDN'T JOE.
HE GOES WHY.
I GO BECAUSE THAT'S WHY, I CAN
SMELL THE WORD WHY.
(APPLAUSE)
I GO DO YOU FLOSS?
HE SAYS YEAH I FLOSS.
I GO JOE YOU DON'T FLOSS.
HE GOES WHY?
I GO BECAUSE YOUR TEETH LOOK
LIKE ONE TOOTH.
LET'S BRING THOSE LINES BACK.
I GO JOE SHOW ME HOW YOU FLOSS.
SHOW ME HOW YOU FLOSS.
HE GRABS A LITTLE PIECE OF FLOSS
LIKE THIS AND HE GOES LIKE THAT
REAL QUICK.
I GO JOE YOU DIDN'T FLOTION.
YOU NEED TO SCRAPE EACH SIDE OF
THE TOOTH WITH A NEW PIECE OF
FLOSS.
YOU NEED TO TAKE THE STRING OUT
OF YOUR MOUTH.
WHEN YOU USE THE SAME PIECE OF
FLOSS YOU'RE JUST MOVING THE
STEAK FROM HERE AND PUTTING IT
ALL OVER HERE.
YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE STEAK OUT
WITH A NEW PIECE OF FLOSS, JOE.
SCRAPE, MOVE, SCRAPE MOVE, NEW
PIECE OF FLOSS.
HE SAYS HOW AM I GOING TO DO
THAT IF MY FLOSS IS ONLY THIS
BIG?
I GO JOE, GRAB A LOT OF FLOSS.
HOOK IT UP.
TREAT YOURSELF.
(APPLAUSE)
>> THEN I WANT YOU TO COIL IT
UP.
COIL UP THE FLOSS IN BETWEEN TWO
HANDS LIKE THAT.
EACH TOOTH GETS ITS OWN FLOSS,
SCRAPE MOVE SCRAPE MOVE SCRAPE.
A LOT OF YOU ARE LOOKING AT ME
LIKE REALLY, THAT'S HOW YOU
FLOSS?
YES!
SO I SHOWED HIM HOW TO DO IT, I
LEFT.
IT'S IN GOD'S HANDS NOW.
I WAKE UP THE NEXT MORNING, HE
DOESN'T SEE I'M AWAKE, ABOUT TO
TAKE HIM TO SCHOOL, HE'S IN THE
LIVING ROOM FLOSSING, DOING
EVERYTHING I TAUGHT HIM, SCRAPE,
MOVE, SCRAPE, MOVE, SCRAPE
PROSPECT I START TEARING UP,
THAT'S MY BOY.
SCRAPE, MOVE, SCRAICH, MOVE,
SCRAPE.
OH OH MY GOD HE LISTENED.
GOT TO THE LAST TOOTH AND HE
WENT LIKE THIS, GULP!
HE ATE IT!
I GO THOSE AREN'T LEFTOVERS!
BUT MY SON IS WATCHING AND I
JUST WANT HIM TO KNOW: DAD WAS
A CREEP, TOO.
I LOVE YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
THANK YOU JAMES.
THANK YOU.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
>> James: JO KOY, EVERYONE!
CHECK OUT JOKOY.COM FOR TICKETS
AND DATES!
