Hey and welcome back to Simple Happy Zen! It's Vera here and today I answer your questions about minimalism.
I got a lot of great questions from you to use for this video. And I noticed that a lot of them go further than
the things you usually hear people talking about on YouTube when it comes to minimalism and minimalist living. So I'm gonna talk about a whole
bunch of things today, from living with non minimalists or living with kids,
who don't want to adopt a minimalist lifestyle, to feeling like you're failing at minimalism or perhaps
that you are not qualified to be a minimalist. To attaching too much meaning to things and also things like living furniture free.
So a whole bunch of things. And of course just my biggest lessons and regrets when it comes to minimalism.
I'm gonna share it all I'm gonna answer them honestly and
this is gonna be kind of like a candid talk about minimalism kind of the highs and lows of it all.
So let's just begin with the first question.
All right, first up we have "Do you ever feel pressured to be a true minimalist in a sense
how many people portray it online, things like having a certain number of items or certain aesthetics?" And I got this question
more times, and also people asking me like "When am I allowed to call myself a minimalist?" And the answer is yes.
I have felt a little uncertain at times. Especially in the beginning when comparing myself to
others who are much more of an extreme version of minimalist. People living from a backpack or people who live furniture free.
Or just have like 10 clothing items or things like that.
I have felt a little uncertain at times where I
compared myself to those people. And especially when I first started on YouTube. I got a lot of comments from people saying
that you can't be a minimalist if you have that or you have too much this to be a minimalist or too much that. And
those type of
comments did make me a little
uncertain at times. And the advice I can give you here, is just you do you. And there is no such thing as a true
minimalist or like a minimalist
qualifying test or something like that.
If you feel like you are living a minimalist lifestyle
then you are. And it's all about, are you consciously asking yourself about the things you own and the things you
partake in life. Like is this bringing me value or not?
And if you are practicing that and asking yourself that question all the time
Then I would say that you are a minimalist.
Next "You have been a minimalist for a few years, what initially inspired you to declutter and become a minimalist?"
So I have been living a minimalist lifestyle for about seven years. I have a foot cramp. Wait a minute.
Yeah, that's better. So I've been living a minimalist lifestyle for about seven years now.
And I kind of rolled into it
gradually. And I started decluttering and simplifying my belongings way before I learned about the term minimalism.
So it all started when I was still living with my parents house, and I loved my parents house
I loved being there because it still feels like home to me.
But I've always felt a little uneasy about the decoration and the colors and a different, you know
All these things that were going on in that place, too much stuff, you know.
It was just very distracting to me. And I asked my parents if I could redecorate my room.
So I made everything white. Not to say that minimalism is always white, but that was what I did.
I made everything white. And I decluttered a whole bunch of things.
And if I do have a picture of my old bedroom, I'll look it up and I'll edit it in here somewhere.
That was the start.
Ultimately, I learned about the term minimalism when me and my boyfriend decided to move into this place together.
And I didn't want to have to move a lot of stuff.
I also didn't want to have like all that stuff around me here.
I didn't want to be burdened by too many things.
That was when I started researching minimalism and learning more about it, and it just became this gradual thing over the years.
Next is I love your channel. Thank you. Would you be able to live without furniture too?
And I have considered it to be honest. Because I don't really like the idea of owning furniture that much.
It's just really big and heavy and clunky and it's such a
pain in the butt if you have to move and stuff, so I have actually considered living furniture free.
But ultimately I decided against it, because I found that comfort for me is more important.
I want to be comfortable in my own home and I want to be physically comfortable too.
So I want to have a nice rug, the one I'm sitting on now, I want to have a couch.
I want to have a nice bed.
I want to be able to just work on my laptop on my kitchen table.
Things like that are worth so much more to me, especially since I work from home.
I am pretty much, I wouldn't say I'm always home
But I am home a lot of the times. And I just want to be comfortable when I'm here.
And I'm really curious what you guys think about living furniture free. Because it's kind of becoming a movement now.
So I'd be really interested in hearing what you guys think. Leave it in the comments. next question
I got in one form or another perhaps like a hundred times.
Well, maybe not a hundred.
But you know.
"How can I live a minimalist lifestyle when my husband is a hoarder?" and/or
If I live with people who don't want to live a minimalist lifestyle.
I do actually think that there is a lot more to say about this topic. And I have discussed it in a previous video.
Where I talked about the five most common struggles when it comes to minimalism, and living with non minimalist is one of them.
So I will link it here and
you can check it out. I'll also leave it in the description box. For now, unfortunately, there's just no wonder solution.
I mean, I I wish I could give you like one tip that would solve it all like, you know
You can brainwash them or control them in some way.
But you can't. You share a space and this is something you have to talk about with the people that you live with.
But more on that in that video. All right. Next question is "I get so attached to things.
It's so hard to declutter when you feel like all things have value.
Even if they don't necessarily have a use. When you started minimalism, was it hard to let go of things?"
Sometimes yes.
It was hard for me to let go of things. Because it is very easy to assign value to something that you own.
Let's take this one. For example.
It's one of my plants. It is insanely cute and I bought this when I was finished with my online course.
So I wrote an online course and for the website of that course, I needed pictures.
So I bought this plant to go with like the print outs of the worksheets to make the pictures. So was kind of like a
icon moment or I don't know what you call that, like an important moment in my life. When I finally finish that course, I was
working on it for about half a year.
So I could very easily assign all that value of that moment in my life to this plant.
But on the other hand
you have to realize that this is just a plant. And it happened to be in your life at that particular time and it is
okay to assign value in the terms of memory.
But ultimately, stuff is just stuff. And memories are much more important than that.
And like I said, you can choose to attach value to things as much as you want. But ultimately it's not so much about
having things that have value for you in your life. It's also about actually thinking about - I'm gonna sit this down -
about if you want to bring something with you into your future. Because even if
something did have value for you in the past, that doesn't necessarily mean that there's also a place for it in your future.
So you have to understand the difference between actual value in the term of it's going to assist you in your life going forward or
just value that you attached to it. It is fine take a picture and if you don't actually use it anymore
you don't enjoy it, then find someone who does. All right next question.
Fantastic video. Thank you.
Regarding the minimalism question. I realize by now that minimalism and decluttering is a continuous process.
How do you stay motivated to keep going?
It sometimes feels to me as if there should be a certain point where you have to reach your
decluttering goals and have the space of your dreams and that it should somehow stay like that without any additional work. Yes
I get what you mean. I actually have made an entire video about how to stay motivated
during your minimalism journey and after you finish the stage of decluttering, so I will link it here for you.
It's an older video
So it looks a little different from the ones that I make now.
But I do think it's a good video. In my experience
it does get easier and easier and it will be less and less work to maintain everything.
As you move through your decluttering journey, provided that you were also able to change your shopping habits.
So that it's not just a stream of stuff going out.
There's also less of a stream of stuff going in. And if you were able to change that and it will get easier and easier.
And for me as well.
I continue to find things that I have looked over like a number of times and finally I'm like why why do I have this?
You know, I still have that sometimes where I like. Why do I own this?
I haven't used it for years and it's just not something that I
actively, you know, have thought about. So it is a continual process, but it will get easier.
I am really craving a cup of tea. So join me and I'll make one.
There
That's better. Next question. I know a lot of you were dying to ask.
How can you live a minimalistic life when you have a family with small kids?
So this question is very understandable and a lot of you asked me this.
I don't have kids around, and I was also the youngest at home.
So I've never been around small kids myself.
That's why I don't really feel qualified to give advice about that any advice.
I would give is just things that I have looked up online or heard other people talking about. But I know that there's a lot
of channels on YouTube when it comes to minimalism with a family that cover that specific topic.
So I would advise you guys if this is something that you are struggling with
to search out those channels and follow them. Because I know that they do give out a lot of valuable advice. And I also want
To say that we do live in a world where we are constantly told that we need to give our children a lot of things.
And a lot of gifts.
Kids need a lot of stuff and we need to give them lots of gifts for Christmas and their birthdays and all these things.
Whereas it has also been proven that kids usually do better and that they're happier and more
creative and more cooperative also with other kids, if they don't have so many toys around. And I've actually heard about this study,
where they had this daycare with all these little kids. And they took away their toys and all they left was the furniture.
These kids did amazing things with it, they built forts and
all of them worked together, and they were creative and they took stuff from
outside from like twigs and branches and stuff and it builds things indoors.
This proves that kids do like to be creative and they don't need a lot of toys for that.
All right, let's move onto the next question, which is a Dutch question.
So this person says: Ik heb al veel spullen weggedaan en verkocht, maar ik voel nog steeds ruis als ik in mijn huis kom. Terwijl ik al best weinig spullen heb. Wat doe ik verkeerd?
All right
So translation: This person has decluttered a bunch of stuff, sold a bunch of stuff.
But they still don't really feel like a minimalist and they still feel kind of uneasy and uncomfortable in their own space.
They do say that they don't really have a lot of stuff. So what are they doing wrong?
So when it comes to decluttering, you hear all these stories from people
feeling like a great sense of accomplishment and they feel happy and lifted when they have decluttered their stuff.
But I do want to acknowledge that this is not the case for everyone.
And I have read a bunch of stories online from people saying that they feel down or empty or sad or
unaccomplished after finishing the stage of decluttering. or who feel like their home is still not right and it's not finished and
they have somehow failed at minimalism. What I would recommend to do is to try a visualization. Is that visualization?
Exercise where you imagine your dream space. And this is called a vivid vision mind dumb. Where you take 30 minutes
or an hour to sit in your space and just write down what your perfect ideal space would be.
Just take a moment to not consider all the butts and the ifs
Just leave them out of the picture for now.
What would your ideal space look like and this exercise could help you to kind of find out more about what it is that you
were missing your home.
I have a sense that probably it's not so much in your stuff or the things you own, or
what exactly it looks like. But there's probably like a bigger theme going around somewhere and if you can kind of get in touch with
that, then you can find out what is lacking and why you still don't really feel like your home is your home.
All right. Next question is something I have definitely struggled with myself as well so I can relate.
So much things to sell as worth good money, but it takes so much time and energy.
Should I just keep slowly getting them sold or
just donate them so I can be free of them at last? I do need the money, but I also need space and freedom.
So I really think this is a good question and it depends on your priorities and this can be very different for everyone.
So just ask yourself.
Would you rather get the maximum amount of money that you could possibly get by selling all these items..
but still take a long while to sell them all off? Or would you rather just donate them all get the space and freedom
right now, but not get the money? And I think both answers are fine either way.
It's just that what you find more important, try to do that. And I do want to mention that in my
experience is always good to sell things to people. Because if someone has paid for an item
they will probably treasure it more and really make sure that it gets a second life. Whereas if you donate something
for free or people just get it for free
They don't really value it enough. And don't know what will happen to the item.
Which is the same case if you donate it to a thrift store or charity shop, of course
It is much better than just getting rid of it throwing it in trash.
But if you charge people something, that will probably make sure that your item does get the second life that it deserves.
Next question: "Any advice for minimalism in my schedule? How to say no make time for myself?"
So something I would recommend trying out is scheduling free time and scheduling time for yourself as
one of the first things in your calendar.
so
Of course you have work or school or whatever
obligations that you can't really get out of. But after that, try to schedule some free time for yourself first and then
scheduling the rest. Because if you just wait for something to open up magically and you have like a free afternoon
magically, it's probably not going to happen. So you have to prioritize it and schedule it,
this is actually something I talked a lot about in my online course called In Love With Your Life and I really focus on how
to say no to people, how to prioritize
what you really want and how to find a time and energy in the space for these things.
So I will leave a link in the description if you are interested.
Next question: "How not to follow trends and ignore them when it comes to fashion or shopping and how to stop comparing yourself to others."
So I like the quote by Coco Chanel of all people where she says
something like fashion is
What did she say?
She says something like fashion is temporary, whereas style is permanent. And
trends are made to pass.
So she says that
trends are only trends because they want to make clothing that we then buy, and then I know it's not trendy anymore and then we
Have to buy something new.
So I would try to find your style and something where it is really timeless and classic. And really looks great on you and
if you can find your own style like that
you will notice that you are much less tempted by trends and wanting to kind of fit in because you always look good.
No matter what you wear. Because it's always
stylish instead of trendy.Iif you kind of see where I'm going with this.
Hi Vera! Does it still happen to you that you regret a purchase?
Even if I think a lot about a purchase before I buy it, it still happens to me that I regret buying something from time
to time.
Yes, that still happens to me also, not often anymore.
But still sometimes. This does happen to me and I do regret buying something. But you know what?
It doesn't matter if you make a mistake.
It is about the entire process and the entire lifestyle. And if you make a mistake now and then by
buying something that you regret, it's no problem. So don't sweat it.
Just try to learn from it and move on. So see what made you buy the item in the first place.
And why do you now regret buying it? So that hopefully you will not ma.ke the same mistake in the future
But that is all you have to do. And we are all trying our best. So absolutely no worries.
Hey Vera, how did your family and friends react to your decision on the minimalist lifestyle? Mostly they are just very supportive
so that's really nice. And I do think that
being Dutch also kind of helps with that. Because Dutch people tend to not be that
into materialism or we tend to be quite frugal as a
people. So I think most people get it. Although sometimes they might think I'm a little boring.
What is your minimalist makeup collection look like? And I'm having a hard time declutter in that area are being minimum in that area.
So for me what helped with cosmetics and beauty items is to only own one of each
category of items. And just pick the one that you find it the most valuable and only own that one. So I only own one
Body lotion, for example, I own one. Mascara, one was that stuff called?
Foundation, one foundation, one powder.
One blush, one everything one. With the exception of nail polishes, which I really enjoy using and a few
lipsticks. And this will also help you to be less enticed when there's like a new mascara coming out when you know, you know
I actually like the one that I have and I'm just going to keep buying that one. How much time a day or weekend do
you devote to decluttering?
What are your tips if you feel overwhelmed? So this totally depends on your schedule and how much time you have available.
But I do recommend making a schedule and actually just
scheduling, penciling in some time for decluttering every week or weekend or whenever you have some time available to you.
Because this will help you actually stick to it.
If you feel overwhelmed the best advice I can give you is to focus on the one tiny
ridiculously small
possible course of action that you could take and do that. So if it's just like
getting rid of one pen that doesn't work anymore.
You know.
If you can focus on the one smallest possible type of action that you could take if you feel overwhelmed...
you will feel some sense of accomplishment and then you can focus on the next
ridiculously small thing that you could focus on to finishing something, and before you know it you're decluttering. And before you know it
you know, weeks, months later, you will have decluttered maybe an entire room or even more.
Where do you donate? So usually goodwill and when it comes to clothing
I usually use those clothing bins that we have all around the country.
The clothing in those clothing bins either go to second-hand shops or developing countries, or if it is just not useful anymore
it gets recycled.
Do you miss or regret anything you've gotten rid of? So I have thought long and hard about this question and I cannot think of
any single thing that I truly regret getting rid of. There have been some really small things like for example
we wanted to tie together this really big plant there, because it was getting like way too big. And my dad just said
You know, just use some rope, just tie it together. And we were like, we don't we don't own rope. Like why would we own rope?
So small things like that.
But then, you know, always they were figureoutable, I could overcome them really small challenges.
But nothing big. Thanks so much for watching.
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