The recent Nintendo Direct introduced the world to the super crown
A power-up which apparently changes the character who nabs it into a 'peach-fied' version of themselves.
They showed its effects on Toadette and that's all it took for the Internet's imaginations to go wild.
But while everyone else was busy searching for Bowsette content on, um…less brand-safe sites…
Did anyone actually stop to consider what happens when Toads other than Toadette touch this thing? Like, say, Yellow Toad?
*Power Mushroom sound effect*
*Daisy sound effect*
('Ya-hou!')
And what's the other main color of Toad? Oh yeah, blue.
*Power Mushroom sound effect*
*Rosalina sound effect*
("Woo!")
Did that just blow your mind? Ah; wait, never mind. You're still busy looking at Bowsette.
* Glitchy Intro theme plays*
*Keyboard key clicks, over a continuously glitching audio noise*
Hello Internet!
Welcome to Game Theory! 
Where, let's be honest with ourselves, Bowsette would NOT be hot.
She'd look like this:
*Monstrous roar*
Hate to burst your 'good girl, gone bad' fantasy bubble there, guys and gals.
No, my friends, let me shoot straight with ya: Waluigiette is where it's at. Oho, yeah…
Now if you have NO idea what I'm talking about,
let me catch you up: In the trailer for New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe -
a name that would make Street Fighter proud -
We get to see this nifty new mushroom-crown hybrid power-up that's able to turn Toadette into a brand new character
Nintendo is calling 'Peachette', who, for supposedly being this brand new character, looks an awful lot like Peach;
she's got her own version of floating jump that Peach has, she has blonde hair, the pink dress;
I wouldn't blame you if you thought that this was just Peach in a new costume, but if you look closer,
it's clear that the two are indeed
separate characters. While the different shoes could be shrugged off as a simple change of footwear,
the dress has structure and lacks wrinkles, even when it's in motion.
It really does appear to be just an oversized mushroom.
Additionally, Peachette has grey eyes, whereas Peach has blue; which is particularly interesting,
since with every powerup that Mario and Luigi have ever gotten, they always maintain the same eye color.
Lastly, because no Mario episode would be complete without arbitrary pixel measurements,
I DID run the numbers and Peachette is indeed shorter than Peach's canon height.
Anyways, I think we can safely rule out Peachette as a mere palette swap and confidently say
that she's her own separate, but obviously related character within the Mushroom Kingdom.
But before we begin to celebrate the arrival of an EXTREMELY unexpected
new character to the Marioverse, we should probably take a moment to assess the implications
of what Peachette's mere existence in canon lore means for the Mushroom Kingdom.
Because guess what? The addition of Toadette's evolved form is GAME CHANGING
from a lore perspective, and may lead to the SINGLE darkest event in Mario's overall narrative arc.
So strap in, Nintendo. When I reveal the MASSIVE ramifications of making Peachette
so close to Peach, you may just rethink any future attempts to quickly slap together
some half realized power-ups in an attempt to spice up a re-release.
Let's get started! To begin, the Super Crown powerup immediately throws one HUGE question into focus.
Is Peach ACTUALLY human, or is she instead an evolved form of toad?
It seems like an absurd prospect;
that Peach could somehow be nothing more than a sophisticated shiitake;
more MOREL than man.
But looking closer, there does indeed seem to be more to this
Mycelial mystery than first meets the eye. I mean, she WAS originally called Princess Toadstool
after all; something that no one in their right mind ever had any reason to assume was anywhere close to being literal until
Apparently today modern Nintendo is weird. But again, that was all just a name
Is there anything in the Mario canon that could possibly link toadstool to actual toadstools? Yes.
Yes, there is. The clues were hiding in plain sight for us since the very first GAME
and we've simply been overlooking the evidence the entire time way back in the original NES manual for Super Mario Brothers
It's established., that peach has a father, the "Mushroom King" quote
"The only one who can undo the magic smell on the mushroom people and return them to their normal selves is the Princess Toadstool."
"Daughter of the Mushroom King." and if you think that's just a remnant of 1980s
mistranslation or some poorly thought-out first game lore
Well think again, the manual for 1999 Super Mario brothers deluxe says the exact same thing
but again
"It is said that only the daughter of the Mushroom King Princess Toadstool can break the evil spell" end quote. So if Nintendo
truly wanted to retcon this guy out of the story that
Re-release would have been their chance to do it. So it definitely he appears like he's a real entity in this universe
What's more he also has a wife?
In 1987's official Nintendo player's guide we see that quote "The mushroom people were ruled by a good king and queen."
and what's more despite them never once appearing in any game ever?
We do get a chance to see them a second release in 1987 how to win at Super Mario Brothers
Which is another book created by official Nintendo employees
Revealed for the first time imagery of the Mushroom King and his wife king and queen Stool
Look familiar?
both of them sporting mushroom heads just like their subjects adding to the evidence that Peach
Started as a little baby Shroom-Lance and what's more that's not her only
familial connection here. In Super Mario RPG for the Super Nintendo,
You can actually sneak a peek into peaches castles bedrooms
and well
You might be distracted by Samus from Metroid being in the guest bedroom, or Peaches
"???" hiding in the corner and that's a- huh,
That's a theory we covered before link is in the iCard. It's an oldie, but it's a goodie
They're not the only interesting things to see in this room. You'll also find an elderly toad woman simply named
Grandma. Does the name necessarily prove that she's related?
No, but she is trusted enough to be the only other person to know about Peaches' secret personal item stashed over in the corner
So, you know regardless we have a princess named toadstool who has herself a fungal headed family
Which definitely starts to give some credence to the idea that she went from womb, to
shroom. Now,  let's change directions for a minute instead of talking about more mushrooms
Let's talk about bees. Honey bees specifically
I'm sure most of you already have a general idea of how honey bee colonies work with one queen bee
Ruling over a bunch of female workers and male drone bees
But do you know how a queen is chosen?
In a bee hive female workers who are selected as potential queens, are taken to special cells within the hive to receive frankly put
"Royal treatment" among having personal servants to do everything
They could want, the nurse bees feed them huge amounts of royal jelly
a substance that's chock-full of nutrients that allow the selected few to grow into the we'd the Queens and matures and rules and
Reproduces until she grows old or abandons the hive at which point the process repeats. Now,
Why would I digress and tell you about this little bee plot?
Well, think about it. The mushroom King literally
disappears from the Mario Canon after a last hurrah in a coloring book from the 80s, being the only royalty left, Peach is without
question, the acting Queen in the Mushroom Kingdom
Notice how in Super Mario RPG we see the throne room and there's only one chair and it is specifically hers. Sure,
She might be referring to herself as princess
But for all intents and purposes she is the queen this is important because toads are servants to Princess Peach
It's confirmed in the Super Mario Brothers manual and reaffirm pretty much every other time. The toads role is clarified in the lore
They are literally the worker and drone bees of the Mushroom Kingdom
Hi serving their female ruler between peach
it's also worth remembering that according to qu Ichi hayashida codes are genderless and merely expressed the
Characteristics of gender so really there could be any number of drone or worker toads, and we could be none the wiser
Now what has the super crown shown us that a normal worker?
Toadette can be fed a special item and become just like the Queen the super crown is quite literally the royal jelly
Of the Mushroom Kingdom taking a normal worker and transforming them into ruler of the colony now
I can understand some skepticism here taking the leap from fungus to B isn't the most obvious connection
But it is worth pointing out that most fungi are closer to being an animal than they are a plant look at a cladogram
Which is a branching diagram showing the relationship between species and you can instantly see that fungi are grouped closer to us than they are
to plants or bacteria
I mean after all
mushroom the cells are given most of their structure by the fibrous substance known as chitin the very same sorts of chitin found in the
Exoskeletons of insects now, of course. I'm not saying that the denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom are insects
Not only would that be terrifying it would make less sense than the whole peach is a mushroom thing
But I am saying that the evolutionary groundwork is there for a mushroom to some how
Miraculously level up to human status even the changes in eye colour support the idea of a Toadette to Peachette toPeach
maturation process when babies are born, especially
fair-skinned ones like peach they have light-colored eyes because they have very little
Melanin a type of pigment that gives color to the eyes skin and hair but after birth light stimulates the production of melanin
Which is why the eye color may darken or change over time true story when Ollie was born
He had gray blue eyes, which have now become brown as his melanin has increased over the last three months
Now, look at Peachette
Like I mentioned before she has gray eyes clearly differentiating her from peaches blue eyes
But what if that's just because she's an early form of peach. I mean she did just
Changeover give it a year or in peaches case a few decades and that mature blue color will shine right on through. That's right
What if Peachette is merely an immature form of a peach a young queen?
Freshly groomed and ready to start a rule only to grow taller and have her eyes change color as she continues to develop
Over the years the evidence quite frankly is there but why now? Why would Nintendo keep this?
Absolutely, massive lore revealed quiet until this particular Nintendo Direct
Well, remember what I said earlier queen bees aren't constantly being groomed
it only happens when the hive feels as though the current queen is getting old or dying or
simply isn't around anymore and they want to override the current queen with a new one and it's that last reason that stands out how
many times is our princess been in another castle or out playing tennis or on the moon rejecting the advances of
fertile males
I would venture to say that with all the kidnappings and spin-off titles the Mushroom Kingdom might be feeling a bit neglected a bit
barren
If you will after decades of peach being away from the hive the natural response would be to begin the grooming process
And make room for a new queen
I mean
it's not like they didn't give peach a chance right toadette didn't officially arrive until
2003 that is plenty of grace time for peach to get her act together
But alas she never did and along the way toad ed has popped up more
more and more
Gradually making her presence known to the kingdom until the day that she would finally come the day that she would finally
Transcend her worker toad form take the super crown and become the queen bee that the Mushroom Kingdom deserves
But in order to do it one thing stands in her way
Princess Peach remember all that talk about the grooming of the queen bee. Well, there was one
Teensy-weensy part that I left out. Once the first virgin queen emerges from her royal cell
She begins to communicate with the other queen candidates through a process called piping where she makes a sound called Tooting
Yes Tooting like a fart
It's a signal to say that this new queen is ready to fight for the honor of being the one and only to sit atop
The waxy throne the rival Queens answer back with a sound that's known as quacking
When the Virgin Queen here's the quacking the Queen goes to every one of the quacking sister cells and kills us because in the game
Of hives you win or you die
after being too Danette to truly rise to the top of the kingdom a peach yet is gonna start tuning and have to put an
End to the reigning queen you heard me right ladies and gentlemen the introduction of peach
It could mean the death of Princess Peach no extra lives this time
that's why there's only one peach and that's why it's been so long until
Nintendo revealed this the hive is ready for a new queen
Super crowns are being produced and tow debts are being groomed for the throne consuming
Its power growing into peach s and eventually hoping to be the last one standing
So they can mature
into a fully grown peach the worst part of this whole ordeal is that when peach does eventually
Return to the kingdom which he's finally rescued by Mario
She'll likely be killed by your own underlings your days of being chased by men and leisurely
Kidnappings across various galaxies have finally caught up to you peach
the deceptively cold murderous eyes of peach yet will be the last thing you see before being eaten alive by
tiny mushroom men all hail peach ATS long may she reign the queen that the
Room kingdom deserves, but hey, that's just a theory. A GAME
THEORY
Thanks for watching
*Fire crackles in the background* *Thunder strikes*
