- I feel God in the chilies tonight.
- It's Pam.
- That's Office 101.
(melodic music)
Hey everybody, it's me, Rainn Wilson,
and I've been wandering
around suburban Los Angeles,
and I have arrived at this very house
because I hear that inside is the world's
number one Office fan.
Come on, America, let's see what happens.
(doorbell rings)
It's apparently a young man named Billie.
He's slow to answer the door.
Kinda disrespectful.
Oh!
How are you?
- I'm so good,
how are you?
- Hi.
- It's so nice to meet you.
Oh we're going straight in for a hug,
that's fantastic.
I heard you were an Office fan.
- [Billie] Uh-huh.
- Yeah?
A little bit?
- Yeah a little biggie bit.
- [Rainn] You've seen
the show once or twice?
- 12 times now.
- [Rainn] 12 times?
- Yes.
- Is this where you watch The Office
or do you watch it on your--
- No I actually watch it on my phone.
As soon as I wake up and
when I brush my teeth
and when I go to the bathroom,
when I take baths and shit.
- Wait a minute, you watch The Office
when you go to the bathroom?
- [Billie] Yeah I do.
- So you're pooping and your watching me.
- Literally taking dumps watching you.
- That is disgusting.
- This is my room.
You don't have to come
in or whatever you want
but there's this.
- Oh my god, look at that.
Maybe she is the biggest
Office fan in the world.
- Yeah we'll find out.
- We'll find out.
Ladies and gentleman, Billie eyelash.
(Billie laughs)
William eyelash.
I hear you're a pretty big Office fan.
Bring it.
Ow, Jesus.
I'm gonna ask you some questions,
some trivia questions,
and then some quotes,
and we'll see how well you do.
Here we go.
(Billie laughs)
Ooh, this is a good one,
this is a tough one.
- Go.
- I think I'm gonna stump you.
- Go.
- What was Nellie's ex-boyfriend's job?
- Repeat the question.
- No.
- Yeah, go.
- So, see, okay listen.
No listen, listen.
Because I don't get nervous
and I'm nervous right now.
So I forgot the name Nellie is Nellie.
So I'm thinking...
I knew that, though.
See I'm blanking.
See okay wait, hold on, wait.
- [Rainn] Do you need to take some
deep breaths or something?
- Ask me another question,
I can't look at you.
Ask me another question.
I knew that.
- But part of the challenge
is you have to look--
- But I knew it.
- Part of the challenge--
- But I'm nervous.
- Is that I'm so intimidating,
you have to keep,
you have to look at me.
- Okay I can do it.
Bitch, I'm strong, go.
Fuck.
Why did I...
Okay, I'm nervous.
- What does Michael order while out
with the insurance selling mafia man?
Italian dish.
- Yes.
Gabagool.
- Yes, very good.
What is the name of the charity 5K run,
fun run, the staff run in?
What is the full name?
- The full name?
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
I know it has fun run
race for the cure, right?
That's the end.
- That's right, good, yep.
You got the last six words.
- The Michael Scott.
- Good.
Name of the paper company.
- Dunder Mifflin.
- Yep.
Then it's the city.
- Scranton.
- Yep.
And then it's the woman who has rabies.
- Meredith Palmer.
- Memorial.
- Memorial.
Memorial.
Okay so the Michael Scott Dunder Mifflin
Scranton Meredith Palmer.
- Celebrity.
Well.
(Billie laughs)
- Is that part of it?
- [Rainn] Yeah.
- Celebrity.
- Mhmm.
And then the disease.
- Whatever the fuck it's called.
- [Rainn] Rabies awareness.
- Rabies awareness.
- [Rainn] Pro-Am.
- Pro-Am.
And then--
- Fun Run Race For The Cure.
Wow that's...
- I'm gonna give that to
you, that's a tough one.
What is Toby's daughter's name?
- Sasha.
- Good.
Wow.
When Dwight accidentally
kills Angela's cat,
what are the names of A, the original cat,
and two, the replacement cat?
- The replacement cat's name is Garbage.
- Yes.
- The original cat's name is Sprinkles.
- Very nice.
Very good, good.
When we all sleep, where do we go?
(Billie laughs)
- You have to answer that one.
- What is the preferred pizza
place among the office staff?
- Ooh.
Okay so it's either Alfredo's Pizza Cafe.
- [Rainn] That's it.
- Or Pizza by Alfredo.
(laughing)
- What is Jan's candle company called?
- Serenity by Jan.
- Ooh.
(laughing)
This is good.
What is Princess Unicorn's catchphrase?
- My horn can pierce the sky.
(laughing)
- Andy, Darryl and Kevin
play what board game
during Kevin's garage sale?
- Dallas.
- She's good, she's good.
What is the name of Michael
Scarn's robot butler
in Threat Level Midnight?
(Billie laughs)
- Oh my god, that's so crazy that
you're asking me these things.
His robot butler, Samuel.
- Good.
- L. Chang.
- Whoa!
That's nuts.
What celebrity did the office staff debate
over being hot or not?
- Barbra Streisand?
No, wait, fuck, wait, sorry.
Wait, no.
- Language, young lady.
- I know who it is.
Oh my god.
- Office fans right now are--
- Stop, I know what it is though.
- Groaning with disgust at you, right now.
- [Billie] No but I know it though.
But the name, I'm bad with like the names.
- [Rainn] Boys don't cry.
- Oh my god, this is embarrassing.
I know it.
I don't even know who it is, I
only know it from The Office.
(laughing)
That's why it's hard, though.
- Well I'm gonna tell Hilary Swank
that you don't know who she is.
- Fuck!
Oh for fuck sake.
Damn.
- Before we go to the
quotes, I just wanna ask,
what song did you write for Dwight?
Was it Ocean Eyes or Bad Boy?
(laughing)
- He said bad boy.
Ah!
Ocean Eyes.
- True.
Correct.
You are correct.
- Thank you, I know.
- Here is a quote from The Office,
you tell me which character said this.
I'm not gonna do the voice.
I'm gonna do a flat voice.
(Billie laughs)
I have been trying to get
on jury duty every year
since I was 18 years
old, to get and go sit--
- Stanley.
- Do I regret this?
No, I believe his tissue
has made me stronger.
Now I have the strength of a grown man--
- You.
- The worst thing about
prison was the dementors.
- Michael.
(laughing)
- And what character of Michael's?
- Oh, Prison Mike.
- Sometimes I feel like everyone
I work with is an idiot.
- Kevin.
- I haven't had so much fun since
seeing Zooey Dish Channel at the
Coacherella music festival.
- Erin.
- Coacherella.
- I haven't proposed to anyone in years.
Said?
That's a tough one, I
actually didn't know this.
- I know, but I know the line so well
but I feel like there's so
many proposals on that show.
- I haven't proposed to anyone in years.
- Was it Andy?
- [Rainn] Yes.
- Okay.
- You know, a human can
go on living seven hours
after being decapitated.
- Creed.
- Very good.
- And then you correct him, you said,
"You're thinking of a chicken."
(laughing)
And he said, "What did I say?"
- You wanna go on with the scene?
- I ground up four extra
strength aspirin and put them
in Michael's pudding.
- Michael's pudding.
I do the same thing with my dog--
- Ryan.
To get him to take his heartworm medicine.
- Saddle shoes with denim.
I will literally call
child protective services.
- Child protective services.
- Oscar.
- A few years ago my family
was on a safari in Africa
and my cousin, Moufasa, was...
(Billie laughs)
He was tramped to death by a
pack of wildebeest.
- Ryan.
People underestimate
the power of nostalgia.
Nostalgia is truly one
of the great weaknesses,
second only to the neck.
- To the neck.
You.
- Dwight.
That's all.
(cheering)
(applause)
And you know what.
Young, William eyelash.
I have a very special gift for you,
that I have been saving to
give the ultimate Office fan.
- What?
- It is a yogurt lid necklace, that I...
That actually will go very
well with your goth bling.
(Billie laughs)
Please.
- [Billie] Is this real?
- This is a real thing,
that is a real thing.
So you win.
You win at all.
Congratulations.
The ultimate office fan.
Ladies and gentlemen.
(cheers and applause)
- Oh my god.
Wow.
Wowow.
Give a hand to Mr Rainn
Wilson everybody, please.
(applause)
Wow.
- Thanks so much.
I saw your sauce and it looked so fun.
- That was so fun, oh my god.
