

WILDly

Published by T. Swanepoel at Smashwords

Copyright 2010 T. Swanepoel

For Clarissa

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***

Preface

My heart pounded and my ears swooshed. I didn't like asking questions in class, especially not a full philosophy class, but I had to make sure that I had heard correctly.

"But, Professor, do you really believe it is possible for the sun, a star, to be alive?"

I had to speak up above the buzz of voices from where I sat in the third row. No one was listening. They thought the Professor was just a big fat joke. And his overweight, wobbly appearance made him even more ridiculous, not to mention his bald Bozo-the-clown hairstyle.

He stopped writing on the board and turned towards the class.

"Who asked that question?" The noise level died down a bit. He had never spoken to anyone directly before.

I raised my hand slightly but enough for him to see me. He frowned before answering.

"It is not a question of whether it is alive. It is a question of form."

The noise level from disinterested students climbed even higher than before.

I nodded and stuck my shaking hands deep into my pockets.

***

Chapter 1 - Trigger

I didn't make any stops and the three hours flew by too fast. The sun had just about set when I turned into the parking lot of my new dorm. I slowed down, glanced into the rear view mirror to check, and grinned. I was satisfied with the long brown hair and unusually bright green eyes against the matching green sweater reflected there.

There weren't many cars parked and after an indecisive moment, I picked a space close to the building. The long drive had made me weary, but I was also a little nervous at not seeing anyone around - or any other movement for that matter. I sat in my car for a while, closed my eyes, took a few slow breaths and concentrated on the music.

The next moment I almost leapt onto the passenger seat. It took me a panicked second to realize someone was knocking on my window. The radio was loud and I hadn't heard any footsteps. My hand was still clamped over my throat when I peeked up through the closed window.

A huge grin beamed down at me, a grin that showed off a pair of heart-stopping dimples. Embarrassed, I looked down immediately.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." His voice sounded friendly and amused.

I didn't know what to say, so I slowly rolled the window down. It turned out to be a mistake – the scent of his cologne only made me feel even more awkward. I attempted a feeble smile before I looked at him again.

He was tall and tanned, and his blonde hair and blue eyes worked magnificently with the baby blue t-shirt and beige shorts. The short sleeves of his t-shirt fitted tightly around muscled arms. It was definitely the type of look girls would fight over, and maybe that would include me!

I didn't manage to get any words out, but I guess he took the opened window as an answer.

"Hi, I'm Alex." He paused and waited for my reaction.

I couldn't respond.

"Listen, I didn't mean to scare you. I only came to warn you. The parking spaces closest to the building belong to seniors. I haven't seen you around, so I assume you are a first-year?"

I realized I was being rude and he was only trying to be friendly, so I forced my brain to ignore my self-consciousness and answered with the first words that popped into my head.

"Yes, I am a first year."

"Great news everybody! She has a voice!" he shouted teasingly, throwing his arms up into the air, as if playing to an audience.

"Hi Alex, I'm Valerie." My voice sounded strange. I swallowed and tried again. "Thanks for the warning. I'll move my car." That came out better.

"Nice meeting you, Valerie. You'll enjoy it here. Just keep a low profile for the first month or so and you'll be fine. Do you need a hand with your luggage or anything?" he offered, looking into the back of my station wagon.

I considered the weight of the fridge and the microwave and nodded.

"Well... okay. That... would be nice." I couldn't believe my luck. Not only was I being offered help, but it came in a beautiful package as well.

He grinned at me.

"I'll wait out here for you; you go find your room. Maybe it's close to my girlfriend's."

The message was loud and clear: girlfriend; just being friendly; carry on. I was a little disappointed but reasoned that there were more where this one came from.

I moved my car far enough to be out of the way and resisted the urge to look in the mirror for a sneak peek at Alex again. Grabbing my coat off the backseat, I rushed inside, as I didn't want to keep him waiting too long in case he disappeared. And I didn't look forward to having to carry the entire contents of my trunk all by myself.

In spite of the fact that the hunk already had a girlfriend, I was happy at meeting the first new person in my new life. The feeling of aloneness faded a little. It was a better start than I'd imagined - meeting a friendly, helpful person instead of an infamous senior bully.

There was no one in sight and I looked around the reception. My first impression was _hotel lobby_ , and not any old hotel - a fancy luxury hotel. Bright lighting spilled from the flight of stairs next to the reception desk curling up into the building. Different soft shades of blue and green coloured the room, giving me the crisp, clear taste of a freshly brushed mouth after breakfast.

In contrast, a homely little dining hall to the right revealed a luscious green garden beyond its high windows. The garden had a lawn about the size of a tennis court, with tall trees and colourful shrubs rounding off the edges and filling in the gaps to make it a delightful secluded area.

A notice board in the centre of the room flashed a colourful 'WELCOME' banner. A paper below this indicated the names of twelve newcomers, with room numbers allocated next to them. I was on the second floor in room five. I hesitated, but curiosity got the best of me and I decided to have a small peek at my room first.

The thick carpet completely dampened the noise of my steps as I ran up the stairs. I liked the white wooden doors and neutral beige colour on the carpet and walls, which also emphasized the hotel feeling. All and all, it had a very easy, welcoming effect.

The hallway was short, probably ten doors altogether and the second door to the left had a small, golden number five fixed to it. The key was hanging in the keyhole and I removed it before slowly pushing on the door.

The door was barely open enough for me to step through when I noticed a pair of feet. I was still focusing on the running shoes when a strong hand locked on my wrist and yanked me inside with a quick, forceful pull. I lost my balance, and as I fell forward, I heard the door close and lock behind me.

A wave of exasperation hit me as I started to get up, but it quickly turned to panic as I was pushed to the floor again and pinned down, a hand over my mouth. I squirmed and wiggled ineffectually to get loose from the strong grip, but my screams were too muffled for anyone to hear.

"Listen Valerie, I am so very, very sorry about this. I didn't mean for you to fall down. Please don't scream. I am not here to hurt you." The male voice swallowed and whispered softly, sounding nervous and rushed.

Had he really used my name? I wasn't sure if I had heard correctly, but the tone of his voice did calm me down a little. At least he didn't _sound_ like a kidnapper or harassing senior.

"Please, please don't scream. I need to talk to you, very urgently. Please, just don't scream." He took a deep breath. "I'll remove my hands; please just promise not to scream?"

I knew it was my one chance to get help and I sure was going to use it. I filled my lungs with air slowly so he wouldn't notice and then gave a small nod. He turned me around and I stood up.

The expression in his eyes stopped the screams in my throat. An extremely tired, very stressed, yet somehow content face looked back at me, a strong, masculine, average-looking face, framed by yesterday's beard. His eyes were a pale grey that created a sharp contrast against his black hair. Judging by his facial features, he was maybe a few years older than me.

His presence hypnotized me, so much so that I was startled when he finally spoke again.

"Valerie. Valerie! It is you. It's really you. I'm so relieved to have found you. "

He closed his eyes and took a deep lungful of air, drawing breath to continue. But with the spell on me broken, rage boiled up in my throat like heartburn.

"What do want from me? How do you know me?" I screamed almost hysterically.

"I'm Duncan. Please just trust me and listen carefully." His eyes begged. "Valerie, there isn't enough time to explain everything. Calm down, calm down. Your...biological mother sent me. That's all I can say. But we need to hurry. Please, they are after me!"

A spark of hope ignited. I would do anything to know my biological mother, to know why she had given me up for adoption. Maybe she could also clear up the mystery of my recurring dreams and the memories of being out in the wild. I calmed down a little.

"Hold your hands out to me, palms forward please. I need to give you something," he urged.

It didn't sound too dangerous and I was curious, so I opened my palms and held them up. He did the same. He didn't have anything in his hands and I wondered what exactly he wanted to give me with empty hands.

As his fingertips got closer to mine, my hands were drawn to his, more and more strongly like two magnets attracting each other. The feeling was unexpected and I was suddenly nervous. This weirdo could be a science geek experimenting with funny viruses or chemicals, I thought doubtfully, or an organ smuggler or something.

I tried to pull my hands back, but they completely refused to obey. I tried a little harder but the pull towards him only got stronger and stronger, harder and harder. He must have sensed that I was trying to pull my hands back: I was sweating and my arms were shaking.

"Don't fight it. You're not strong enough yet, your body needs to adapt first."

I went cold with fear. I should have screamed before. Nothing was stopping me from screaming, I thought. I ordered my mouth to scream, opened it, and only a small squeak came out. I knew it! I had no idea why I had trusted this person and now to top off a bad situation, I became aware that my thought processes felt slow, maybe sabotaged.

"Valerie, this might feel strange for a day or two, you will feel heavy in your limbs and probably very tired for at least a week or so. You might end up in hospital and a doctor might misdiagnose you with some type of illness or virus. But don't worry; there is nothing wrong with you. This is part of who you are."

He stared into my eyes and I knew he could see the panic there.

"Calm down. I won't hurt you. You are very powerful; you just need to realize it."

The next moment our fingertips touched. A cold shock wave blasted through me, and I felt it echo through his body.

I froze on the spot.

I couldn't blink or swallow or even take a breath.

Then a strange warm sensation, almost like pins and needles, spread from my fingertips through my hands and arms into my neck and back and down into my legs.

His face was contorted, as if he was in a lot of pain, but his voice remained calm.

"Valerie, you _will_ remember what is happening now and what I am telling you, although you will probably only remember everything over time, after you have recovered. A warning. There are people on the planet who know about this gift and will do anything to take it from you. It is very precious; it is immeasurable in worth. Beware. You cannot trust anyone. You need to be extremely careful, suspicious of every single person, no matter who they are."

I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and a terrible gust of nausea hit me, but a weight was growing, pinning me in place. My eyes burned slightly and everything shone brighter and brighter, as if the sun was hanging right above my head. I tried to close my eyes against the light, but got no response from my muscles. Everything around me blurred as the world moved more and more out of focus.

I stared at Duncan. He looked straight into my eyes and it was clear that he was in a tremendous amount of pain. In spite of this, he went on, his voice faltering.

"Wha...are...yo...doi...to...me?" I forced the words out through my numb mouth.

"You will understand soon enough... I will contact you as soon as..."

"Teeelllll...meeeee...!" I tried to scream with the last bit of energy left in my whole body, but it only came out as a whisper.

"Valerie. Please take care of yourself... You are stronger than I expected. Don't be afraid of this..."

He fell to his knees, but kept his eyes and his fingers locked on mine.

"The second change that you will notice is your resonance colour..."

He didn't continue his sentence; he just looked at me, completely exhausted.

"Oh no! He is... here! Has it... been... eight minutes... already?"

He blinked slowly, dropped his hands and the force holding me disappeared. At the same moment, I heard someone banging on the door and trying to open it.

"Valerie? Are you in there? Are you okay?" a voice shouted.

Duncan's eyes were wild.

The last thing I heard was the door bursting open. Then everything went black.

***

Chapter 2 - Glow

I awoke to a loud, irritating, repetitive beep. My head ached like never before and nausea simmered in my stomach. It took a significant amount of effort to open my eyes to find the source of the sound. A drip monitor stood shamelessly next to my bed, beeping its little heart away.

"Glad to see you are finally awake!"

Exhausted, I had to concentrate hard to focus on the person standing next to me. A nurse named Bridget, according to the badge on her uniform, was staring back at me. She looked too young to be a nurse.

I closed my eyes again and when I opened them an eyewink later, she was still waiting.

"Just your left arm please, need to take your vitals." She sounded friendly and happy and annoying, aggravating my earth-shattering headache. She didn't introduce herself and I didn't feel like talking much, as I feared that my head might explode.

As I lifted my arm from under the covers, the movement felt slow and heavier than usual. A little bell rang softly beneath the thick feeling in my head but I disregarded it. The blundering feeling I attributed to a side effect of some or other type of medicine from the drip.

I closed my eyes again and held my arm out to her. She connected one little gizmo to my finger and another around my arm for the blood pressure measurement.

"Are you feeling any pain or is anything else the matter?" she asked in that annoyingly friendly tone while she waited for the two machines to take their readings.

Desperate for relief, I braved the pain that talking brought. "Yes, I have a splitting headache. And my hands and feet feel rather numb. Could it be from the meds?"

"I doubt it, but we can ask the doctor when he makes his rounds. In the meantime I'll bring you something he prescribed for the pain." This time she sounded even more cheerful.

I frowned. "Do you know why I'm in here?"

"Some rare type of virus, doctor said. Don't think it's contagious though, he would have ordered isolation. You can ask him later." And with that, she disappeared.

The bell rang loud and clear this time. I waited for Bridget's footsteps to fade before I raised both my arms. They were definitely feeling heavy and numb. And then I noticed for the first time how odd my hands looked.

A very thin almost transparent layer of what looked like soft-glowing heat waves spiralled from my fingertips, circled around each finger like a mini-tornado, then flowed down to my palms. It extended about one centimetre beyond my skin around my fingers, and became undetectably narrow around my wrist. Blood rushed underneath the skin around the fuming areas; it was hot and almost pulsating, but painless.

Shocked, I yanked the sheet off me and frantically inspected my feet and legs. I gasped with relief that they were normal. I peeked underneath the silly hospital dress. The rest was normal too.

I placed my hands against each other and the spirals circled around both fingers. When I touched my arm, it felt normal against the skin but the spirals dived into my arm, leaving a small red spot.

Panic scared my poor headache out of its senses. I had no idea what had happened to me, or what had been done to me, but I didn't like it one bit. Too strange. Too weird. No illness or virus could possibly explain this!

I seriously considered calling Bridget back... but then argued that she must have noticed my hands. Although she seemed completely unaware of it all: surely, she would have reacted to something so unfamiliar and unusual? Maybe she was simply polite. Or scared.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I've never been somebody who believed in fairy tales and magic and I've always had a very logical and analytical approach to life. I urged myself to think clearly, and concluded that Bridget had not noticed the glowing fumes around my hands. It appeared that I was seeing something that no one else was.

I had to test my theory.

With a firm hand, I pressed the button to call her. I'd ask her straight out if she could see something strange with me. She was the ideal objective person as she seemed friendly and sympathetic, but at the same time she was completely insignificant in my life.

The bell sounded somewhere in the hallway and I forced myself to stop staring at my hands. I heard a pair of rushed footsteps. Bridget came in with a small tray and a little box of medicine and a glass of water on it.

"Didn't forget about you. Here's your medication for the pain," she smiled at me apologetically. I had forgotten about the meds. It saved me the embarrassment of asking a semi-stranger an awkward question.

She held out the little blue pill and a glass of water towards me. She didn't leave, and it was clear she was waiting for me to swallow. I didn't think anything of it, took the pill and threw it in my mouth.

"That should help soon," she half-smiled. "And oh, I forgot to tell you. Your mother was here all day; she's very worried about you. She had to go but said that she would be back tomorrow," she said, still staring at me. I was increasingly uncomfortable under her steady gawk.

Although the thought of my mother was very comforting, the realization hit me that Bridget was trying to distract me to get me to swallow the pill. My heartbeat picked up and my self-defence mechanism kicked in. To look convincing, I took a big sip from the glass of water, then held the tablet under my tongue as I swallowed.

"You can press the little button if you need something else," she said with a smirk as she walked out.

I waited for her footsteps to fade away. As soon as I was alone, I took the pill out of my mouth with my still-fuming hands. I looked around for a place to discard it where she wouldn't find it and decided on the window.

I sat up slowly, weakened by a growing sensation of hunger and thirst. I kept my neck and pounding head as still as possible. Pressing heavily on the drip stand, I moved my weight to my legs as I got up from the bed. My limbs were so heavy that I broke out in a sweat. My muscles tensed beyond their capability in an attempt to move my legs and I fell to one knee.

After a few moments, I gathered enough energy to stand. Even more slowly than before, I moved forward, one small step at a time. By the time I reached the window, my hospital gown was soaking wet.

I pulled up the window and threw the pill into the bushes way below. The fresh air felt good. It cooled my face down, and my tidal waves of nerves reduced to a few ripples as I convinced myself that Bridget wasn't actually harmful.

The breeze tousled my hair and I closed my eyes to the peacefulness that surrounded me. I was relaxed and free, and raised my heavy arms so that I could feel the wind against my skin. My breathing slowed as I inhaled deeper and deeper. Time stood still.

I don't know how long I stood there with my hospital gown pressing against my body, enjoying the outside. Raindrops against my face broke my trance. I opened my eyes and looked out on dark menacing clouds.

I was baffled – I had just looked at a peaceful sunny day moments ago, with the leaves rustling and the afternoon sunlight dappling the trees nearby. Now the whole world had turned into a forceful storm, and the sudden thunder strikes were so violent and close that they made me take a step back. Maybe I had stood there longer than I had realized. I looked up at the sky again, not able to believe the sudden change.

Aware again, drowsiness set in. I started the never-ending mile back to bed. Only moments after I reached my bed, Bridget came in. She saw the open window and rushed to close it.

"I'll just close this for you. I didn't see it was open. Looks like a big storm is on its way very suddenly, isn't it?" she said in an uneven, high-pitched voice, and then turned to me. "Why don't you rest for a while; I see you are almost asleep."

Her frown changed to what a smile, a smiled that looked like her first genuine smile. She was pleased about something. Maybe that blue pill was meant to make me sleep after all.

There was a thought in the back of my head that I just couldn't retrieve. My body was aching, heavy and exhausted, and my consciousness was slipping away. The last thing I saw was Bridget standing next to my bed with that smile on her face...

I was walking in a wood; somehow I knew I had never been here before. Everything was calm and peaceful. The carpet of leaves that covered the ground turned my footsteps into soft rhythmic rustles. It was a beautiful day. The blue sky peeked through the leaves of the trees overhead and the green of the forest wrapped around me. My soul resonated with awareness and my heart pounded in appreciation of the sight that greeted me.

As I walked through the trees, something shiny caught my attention. It was an illuminated flower! It shone as if it had its own personal little sun shining in it. It stood out from everything else and I couldn't help but move towards it. When I reached the spot, I bent over for a better look at the remarkable soft grey flower. The forest blurred and the flower turned into a pair of striking eyes in front of me. Then the face around the eyes gradually took form.

It was Duncan!

He smiled at me and I was lost in his eyes again. We didn't talk, only stared at each other as emotion welled up inside me. Then, all of a sudden, the weather changed and grew dark and overcast. His expression changed too, to one of vigilance. He kept looking over my shoulder and I turned around to see what was bothering him but couldn't see anything that would make me fret. I turned back to him just as he grabbed my arm.

" _Run!" Duncan shouted. He pulled me in his direction with a strong jerk. I followed him blindly and unthinkingly, running wildly through the forest._

" _It's his shadow!" he screamed, obviously frightened._

_Something big and strong was chasing us, and it was gaining on us. Too afraid to look back, I kept on moving. Duncan's breathing was loud next to mine. Adrenaline pumped through my_ _system and my heart raced at full speed. The fear inside me grew bigger and bigger with every step. I grabbed Duncan's hand, but it disappeared in mine and when I looked across at him, he was gone. Far away in the woods, I heard an earth-shattering scream. I had a terrible omen that_ _he was being hurt and I truly feared for him. Leaves and twigs cracked behind me and a scream ripped through me._

I woke up with a jerk, my hand over my mouth, tears streaming down my face. Surprised by my own emotions and reaction, I realized that I had an unexplainable connection with Duncan.

It was a scary thought.

All of a sudden, I had an urge to know if he was real or not. Determined, I got up from my bed, drip and all. I ignored the heavy feeling that somehow didn't feel so heavy anymore, and picked up my file from the tray at the foot of the bed.

I flipped through the pages of daily blood pressure charts. Then a pathological report. I didn't understand half of the stuff written there, only the phrase:' _Meningitis: negative_ '. I flipped to the next page and it was another report. Turning it over, I discovered that there were several pages of reports. It was clear that I had been in hospital for at least six days and that still no confirmed diagnosis had been made. It did not feel like six days; I could only recall a few very brief moments.

My hands were still glowing. That was all it took to convince me that Duncan was real. I was thrilled. Suddenly his words came back to me: " _There are people who know about this gift and will do anything to take it away from you....You cannot trust anyone... be extremely careful and suspicious... no matter who they are._ "

Goosebumps popped out all over my skin. I was in danger. And the immediate threat was Bridget, who had probably been drugging me.

My mind went into overdrive, a million thoughts spinning around like comets: escape routes; clothes; food; money; transport; a hiding place; people to trust.

I was still considering my options when the beep of the drip monitor sounded. Without thinking, I ripped the drip from my arm, grabbed my coat from the coat hanger and headed for the window. It was dark outside and the sound of a soft drizzle was barely audible from inside the noisy hospital. Not even the fact that I was on the second floor of the building stopped me.

Pain shot through my ankles as my bare feet hit the pavement and I crumpled to my hands and knees. Shocked, but too afraid to give the pain any attention, I scanned the area around me.

One end of the building was too dark for me to make anything out; at the other end a brightly lit road was visible, about twenty metres away. The area looked like a typical city centre with skyscrapers and flashing lights and lots of traffic. Immediately across the road, I could see a public park with palm trees and a central fountain. The sight of the park kindled a memory of safety and protection.

My options were limited. Fear motivated, I crawled in the direction of the park while keeping a frantic look-out for anyone watching or following me. I couldn't make out any figures inside the cars parked higher up the street, but didn't wait for my eyes to adjust and headed on.

As rushed as my escape attempt was, I couldn't quite get rid of the heavy feeling pulling me back. I was moving slower than a snail, but my heart was doing its best to keep up. The wet pavement smeared my poor coat heavily as I dragged it along. It was an absolute mess, but it was cold outside, and I put it on.

I had no idea how to cross the road without drawing too much attention. With shaking hands and a determined mind, I continued. This wasn't the time for self-pity and dejection.

After a few more paces, I became aware of the pain again. My ankles were throbbing and the skin was coming off my hands and knees, so I stopped for a short rest.

By the time I reached the corner, my hands were completely raw. I knew I had to stand up. I collected my guts and stood up slowly. At first it was okay, just standing, but as I took the first step, I almost fell back to my knees. It took all my concentration to stay focused on the target and ignore the pain and exhaustion.

As I moved out of the shadows, the blood on my hands and knees was glaringly obvious and I closed the buttons of my dirt- and blood-smeared coat. Luckily it covered most of my knees. An elderly woman stared at me from a taxi waiting at the traffic light. Her gaze urged me into motion. A girl with bare feet in the rain, blood on her hands and knees and a skimpy little hospital gown sticking out of a dirtied coat was sure to draw attention. Fortunately, she was at such a distance that I doubted she could have seen the glow around my hands.

Each individual step was pure agony and when I finally reached the edge of the park, I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I collapsed in the middle of some dense shrubbery and gave myself over to the hopelessness of the situation.

A wave of nausea hit me at the memory of home. Only a few days ago I was safe, back at home, with my mother taking care of me and making me a dish of mac-and-cheese whenever things got tough.

After a while, the smell of the moist, muddy earth had a calming and soporific effect. I turned on my side and looked up. A small piece of the crescent moon was just visible in the cloudy sky.

To be honest, I didn't know if it was the relief of being safe or of being off my feet that made me feel better so quickly, but for some strange reason, the pain and the heaviness weren't that bad any more. It crept out of me and dissipated into the mud. Under normal circumstances, a mud bath would have me grossed out, but it was heaven lying there against the rock-hard pavement.

" _You are so strong; you just need to realize it."_

Duncan's words were so clear that I thought at first he was standing next to me. I pushed myself up and looked around, but there was nobody near. I sat completely still and listened for movement, but I could hear nothing but the raindrops, the rhythmic beating of my heart and the city night traffic further away.

" _You are from this earth, the earth that will heal and protect you."_

His face was as clear in my mind as the moon shining out from the clouds in the night sky was to my eyes. He was with me.

" _There is so much more to this earth than everybody thinks. It's_ alive _... Actually, SHE is alive."_

I waited until the sun came up for an explanation, but Duncan was gone.

The rays of the morning sun brought some clarity to my spinning mind. The walk back to the dormitory also helped, at least to process things a little.

My emotions had jumped from surprise to awe to confusion when I discovered that my ankles, knees and palms were completely healed. And from what I could see, the glowing fumes now covered my whole body, not only my hands. The glow was very faint and it had a deep blue shine to it. I was afraid that others would see it, so I pulled my coat as far down as possible over my legs but it didn't help much. However, my reflection in the mirror of a public restroom about two blocks from the park gave me courage: my glow wasn't visible.

Both hunger and thirst tormented me so I pushed on. I chose the opposite direction, away from the hospital and kept up a steady pace. I did get a few frowns and funny stares on my way, but the reactions were mild and I was sure nobody saw anything too far out of the ordinary.

Only once did I start to worry - the Subway sandwich shop attendant who gave me directions stared a little longer than anybody else. But it might have been because of my growling stomach. I probably would have frowned too, if a mud-bathed bare-footed mop-headed girl asked me for directions to a dormitory somewhere on the other side of town. To be honest, if it hadn't been for my troubled mood I probably would have laughed at myself.

I had plenty of time to think about everything, but my thoughts were distracted every time my eye caught a glimpse of a glowing limb. The glow emphasized the connection I felt with him, and I simply couldn't believe Duncan had left me in the dark with a mystery so big. I convinced myself he had left me a message somewhere in my room.

I reached the dorm around noon. The parking lot in front of the dormitory was packed. My station wagon was exactly where I had left it, but the trunk was empty. I rushed as fast as possible into the building. Expecting a message with answers, my hunger was completely forgotten. A girl stopped me on the stairs on my way to my room but I didn't listen to her conversation and the poor girl must have realized quickly that I was preoccupied, because she didn't stand there for long.

When I entered my room, the hairs on my arms stood up. Everything was covered in a bright white glow, with the densest concentration around my luggage waiting neatly in the middle of the floor.

I should have expected something strange, considering everything that had happened over the past week!

When I eventually picked up my biggest suitcase, a little electric shock went through my hand and turned my own glow white around my fingers. The white parts immediately felt hotter than the rest of my hand.

Hope welled up in my heart.

It took no more than two minutes to unpack everything.

No message. My phone didn't have any messages either.

I even considered disassembling the microwave but realized that was too unlikely.

I sat down on the floor, disappointed and frustrated. I wanted answers and Duncan was the key to the mystery but I didn't know how to contact him, or even if I would see him again.

Trying to compose myself, I argued that there probably hadn't been time, or perhaps it was too dangerous to leave a message. I wished I could talk to my mother and tell her what had happened, but I didn't have the courage to put things into words yet. I decided to text her instead, as I didn't trust my emotional stability. Also, she had an unrivalled ability to read between the lines and come to the correct conclusions.

"Mom Im @ the dorm. Don't worry. Felt betr & left hosp. Luv u, c u soon."

Her response came five minutes later.

"Im so relieved dear. Take care of yourself. Come visit soon. Miss you very much. Love."

Comforted by her message, I got up from the floor. My stomach growled again and I grabbed one of my mom's rusks. I had to clean up first before I went out for lunch.

It was only in the shower that the thought came up that Duncan had quite possibly never touched my luggage. Only the guy from the parking lot who warned me against the seniors' parking spaces had.

I immediately discarded the idea that he was also in on the strangeness.

***

Chapter 3 – Counterglow

Definition of the word counterglow/gegenschein: a faint, elliptical patch of light in the night sky that appears opposite the sun, being a reflection of sunlight by meteoric material in space.

I only got the chance to thank Alex about a week later. The dining hall was somewhat busy and I had chosen a table far away from the rest in an attempt to avoid a possible incident with a senior.

Truth be told, I was profoundly relieved to be around normal people. I felt safe around the dorm and campus. To me, the only danger was far away in a hospital on the other side of town, so I decided to be friends with my neighbours, Jennifer and Lisa.

Jennifer had burst through Lisa's door the day that I had gone to apologize to her. Dark-haired and pale-skinned, the loud extrovert Jennifer didn't bother with introductions.

"It's our duty to be friends seeing that we're neighbours!" she announced loudly. She dragged us along for dinner and we've been having dinner together every evening since. It's impossible not to like her as she literally bounces all over the hallway from person to person, laughing and bubbling and enjoying herself thoroughly.

Lisa was the girl who had tried to talk to me on the stairs the day that I walked back from hospital. I felt guilty afterwards and looked her up. Lisa was a serious, nerdy, academic type – but familiar in a sense. I couldn't tell her what had really happened and I didn't want to lie, so I apologized without explaining. She accepted my apology with a stiff nod and our conversation struggled thereafter.

"Why are you studying maths?" I asked in desperation. Her eyes came alight. I understood from the animated narration that followed that Lisa had a passion for this world, for the majestic nature on earth, for the forcefulness of the heavens above, for the mysteriousness of life and the secrets of being alive. She argued that mathematics and photography was the best way on earth to describe it. We had a connection suddenly, and I was now in favour with this girl.

Somehow I was not surprised to find that gorgeous Alex was Lisa's boyfriend – she herself was beautiful, with long golden hair, green eyes and tanned skin. And apparently Alex was studying engineering, so they were probably a good match.

Jennifer was on and on about some big party the following evening that I didn't care much about. She wanted me and Lisa to go with her, but Lisa didn't want to either as she had studying and heaps of laundry to do. Lisa's phone rang and she excused herself.

In typical Jennifer spirit, she completely lost her drift when Lisa returned hand in hand with Alex, and she didn't even try to hide it.

Alex was flawless. He looked like Matthew McConaughey's sexy baby brother even though he was only wearing a tracksuit and running shoes.

"Oh... my! Hi theeeere," Jennifer drooled. I stepped on her toe and her jaw closed, but she didn't stop staring. Remembering my first meeting with him, I couldn't blame her – at least this time the attention was on her and my own stare was concealed.

Alex just grinned but Lisa cleared her throat at Jennifer.

"This is Alex," she announced in formal fashion and turned to him, "and these are my neighbours, Valerie and Jennifer. You've already met Valerie."

He nodded his head at Jennifer and then frowned at me.

"You owe me big time, girl. I saved your car from fish paste and graffiti paint and then waited ages for you..." he looked apologetically at Lisa and then continued, "at your car. Not to mention the trip to the hospital."

This time I was prepared for him, as I had expected to bump into him at some time or another. Lisa had told me earlier he had driven me to hospital after she found me delirious and feverish on my bed. She had also phoned 'HOME' on my mobile phone and told my mom what had happened.

"Thank you Alex, Lisa. I really appreciate that you guys helped me." My answer came out steady and calm; after all I was sincerely grateful.

I didn't know what he had expected to hear, but he didn't answer with the customary 'Pleasure' or even a 'No Problem'. He smiled faintly and then turned back to Lisa. I had the feeling something had been left unsaid and decided that it was a personal matter between Lisa and Alex, possibly insecurity or jealousy for Alex's attention, although I hadn't summed her up as a jealous person. I made a mental note to avoid Alex for Lisa's sake.

She noticed my awkwardness and directed the attention back to Jennifer.

"Jen, I wanted to study for the algebra test tomorrow evening and do my laundry, but since you've asked so nicely I guess I'll do everything tonight instead and go with you. Besides, Alex will be going as well."

Jennifer's expression said it all.

"Great!! You, Val?" she asked with a big smile. She was so excited that it was contagious.

"Sure. Sounds like fun." I couldn't help but smile back.

"Yiiiiihaaa!" Jennifer gave her trademark heartfelt cowboy cry, not holding back on the volume. A few heads popped up and stared in our direction, but Jennifer didn't notice. Not wanting to offend her, I swallowed my nervous giggle and pretended immense interest in my almost empty plate.

Lisa changed the subject at once, probably in an attempt to tone Jennifer down a bit. "I'm off to the library after dinner to make copies of old exams. Any of you coming?" she asked angelically.

Her question dried out the zeal of the conversation at once. The slap back to reality was clearly visible on everyone's face, a reminder of the academic pressure of varsity, something the general student was not so keen about.

Alex declined her offer with a very polite "No thank you." Both Jennifer and I followed his example. To sound more assertive, I added that I still had to finish an assignment. We all sat there for a few tongue-tied moments before it got too much for Jennifer and she excused herself without finishing her dinner.

I felt awkward with the lovebirds after Jennifer left, so I finished the last two bites and excused myself as well. I headed for my room, taking the stairs two at a time. It had occurred to me that Alex must have carried me down the stairs – I strongly doubt that it was Lisa as she was too tiny.

The thought bothered me so much that I gave up on the first question of the assignment an hour later and climbed into bed.

My glow was by now completely blue again after the whitening from touching my luggage the other day. The glow in my room had also faded away. It looked normal again, the way I liked it.

The room was small and cosy, and the colour theme harmonized with the hallway. The curtains and carpet were chocolate brown, and the white of the bed balanced out dark and light perfectly. My favourite part though was the green bits – my desk looked out through a large window onto the garden below. The only other piece of furniture was a closet that was too big for my limited wardrobe, even after I tried this way and that to space my clothes out to fill it better.

There wasn't much in the way of outfits to choose from so I settled for my trusty old jeans and boots for the party. A t-shirt didn't feel exactly right, so I decided on my only half-suitable white blouse, a sleeveless, halter neck type of cut. It was a bit out of fashion, but it accentuated my tanned skin and brown hair. And anyway, I didn't have another choice.

I left my hair hanging loose as always and didn't bother with make-up.

"Finally!" Jennifer exclaimed teasingly when she opened her door for me.

She had gone all out: make-up, hair, clothes. She had on designer jeans with a pair of black high-heel boots, a beautiful but revealing rose-pink top and a black leather jacket.

"Wow! You really dressed up," I told her feeling a little out of place against her stylish look.

"Thanks. That's in case Alex has a good friend or two," she winked. "If you're ready, we can go. The two lovebirds have gone already."

She locked the door behind her and dragged me away from the big main stairway. When I frowned, she explained.

"You missed the first initiation session that we had. We'll draw the wrong type of attention from seniors if we walk out the front door like this," she explained. "Not that I care much, but they'll keep us busy and I want to get there! We'll use the fire-escape."

The fire escape stairway was at the back of the building, slightly hidden amongst tall oak trees, with no lighting at all. The few top stairs that were visible from the open door were in a condition that would have given a professional daredevil nightmares. The steps were rusted so badly that they had holes in them. I didn't like it one bit. Not that I was an overly cautious person, but I didn't believe in testing fate to the limit. The tree looked like a safer option to me.

"At least we're sure that no one will catch us on these," I squeaked.

"Oh, come on. It's not that bad. I've used it before. This isn't the first party I'm going to, you know?" she said and continued forward without hesitation, taking the stairs with impressive speed, high heels and all. Fortunately, we only had one storey to climb, so I followed carefully behind her.

"Hey, Gran! You okay there?" she teased from below.

When I finally reached the bottom, I vowed not to test the emergency stairs again.

"We can take my van if you want?" I offered.

"No way dear, we walk; they're watching the parking lot for sure. The senior rooms look down onto the parking lot, you know," she explained.

I didn't mind walking and after the stair antics, the mile-long walk to the guys' dormitory was bliss. And with Jennifer's uninterrupted babble, it didn't take long at all.

As always, it was refreshing outside, but the red shine about the full moon had a gloomy effect on me. Even Jennifer noticed it. _'I see a bad moon rising'_ she sang. She went quiet afterwards, for a few seconds at least, before she continued her chatter.

As we approached the men's dorms, much the same as our own dorm with the dining hall looking out onto the garden, the booming of the music got louder. Jennifer was in her element, dancing and swaying her hips. The place was swarming with people, both inside and out. Jennifer didn't bother to find Lisa and Alex; she joined the dancing masses in the entrance hall right away, dragging me along. I shook my head, lifted my hand as if raising a glass, and made my way through to the punchbowl on the other side of the room. I needed a bit of courage to start dancing and swaying about.

It was a struggle as the place was overcrowded. I had almost reached the punch table when I heard chanting above the music. A few metres ahead of me, a crowd of about twenty was going mad. I couldn't see past them at first but quickly made out the name they were chanting – they were cheering Alex on. The circle opened up a little and I could see his head and shoulders. He threw his arms up in the air, surrendering with a big smile and made his way to the stage.

The music stopped. The room went wild with whistles and cheers, even the band cheered. They cleared the stage to make space for him. Alex picked up the electric guitar and tested a few notes before he looked up with a sparkle in his eyes and hit the first notes of ACDC's _Thunderstruck_.

The hair on my arms stood up. The rhythm was quick and the song built in momentum, filling the air and invoking a slowly growing vibe of excitement.

I was hypnotized.

He was a picture of masculinity, young and sturdy, his white t-shirt accentuating the strong, broad chest underneath it. The lighting was extremely flattering as his fingers ran fast and fluently over the strings, showing off a play of muscles.

Alex finished the entire song without missing a single note, smiling from ear to ear. The cheers and whistles exploded, even louder than before, calls for 'encore' resounding. He just shook his head and put the guitar down.

I envied Lisa as I turned back to the punchbowl. Only after about the third glass did my brain register the taste. It was better than expected and not strong at all. So I filled a second glass for myself and a third for Jennifer.

It was bound to happen – three glasses in two hands making an erratic way through swaying bodies ended up being three broken glasses on the floor and a red punch-stained blouse. I sighed. No one cared and the dancing continued undisturbed. I picked up the biggest pieces of glass and went to the ladies' loo next to the stairway.

Inside I grabbed a handful of paper towels to absorb the worst of the wetness but the stain only smeared worse and worse with all the wiping. The blood on my fingers didn't help either. Occupied with the stain, it took a while to recognize the force on me. It was a magnetic pull, just like the sensation that I had the day with Duncan. It tugged me in the direction of the garden outside and a moment later, a sneering laugh came from the same direction.

Curious as always, I climbed on top of the toilet seat and peeked out the small window. It was dark outside and I could barely make out the group of four in a small circle on the open lawn, a girl and three guys. Three of them had glows similar to mine, all of them bright white, but the girl had a slightly yellow shine to hers and one guy had a slightly red shine to his. What really caught my attention though, was what was happening in the centre.

What looked like a massive beam of black lightning circled between the four figures in a doughnut shape, about a metre above the ground.

I was still trying to interpret what I was seeing and what was so familiar about the figures when the whole image in front of me changed. The lightning beam froze, then exploded with a loud cracking sound. A bright flash of light turned night into day for a split second. Even my own glow turned white.

Then all four turned and looked directly at me.

Startled, I ducked down below the windowsill. For a very brief moment, I saw their faces and recognized Duncan. The fleeting impression that I got was that he was on the receiving side of a sound paddywack.

And if Duncan was in danger, then so was I.

Once alerted, the empty ladies' loo suddenly seemed like a very scary place. That group didn't seem very friendly and I didn't want to upset them: they were too busy with funny stuff for my own good. And I definitely didn't want them to find me alone.

I shot out of the loo, to find Alex, Lisa and Jennifer waiting for me outside the door.

"You okay?" Jennifer screamed above the music.

All three looked at me with questions on their faces and I remembered the punch-stain on my blouse. Jennifer must have noticed the accident.

I stared from the one to the other. They were on planet Sophisticated and I was on planet What-a-Mess. Earlier I had thought Jennifer was stylish, but Lisa was more than that – she was super-sophisticated in a fashionable little soft-violet and silver dress.

Embarrassment completely evaporated the fright of a moment ago and turned my cheeks to a lively red that almost matched the stain.

I was the odd one out, and I stood out like a mole. Displeased with myself for the stupid unnecessary accident and for blushing about it, I lowered my eyes. I resented myself for not tagging a jersey along.

"Fine. Just messed up," I screamed back, pointing at the humungous stain.

Jennifer nodded.

"We'll take you back with Alex's car if you want?" Lisa offered.

"Okay, thanks," I accepted the offer, grateful for the getaway.

I waited for Alex and Lisa in front while they went to get his car. I couldn't help but roll my eyes when I saw it– a fancy white Lexus. It was so typical that a popular guy with looks and brains and talent and a personality and a wonderful girlfriend would have money and taste as well.

The trip back took forever. Lisa and Alex talked about the band that had played. I sat quietly in the back of his car. They must have noticed my detachment, as they didn't try to draw me into their conversation although at one stage, Lisa turned towards me, but Alex pulled her hand closer to him.

I didn't care about seniors right then, and took the big stairway. I went to bed immediately, switched off the light and spent the rest of the night staring bemusedly through the window at the moon.

My emotions were out of control. They oscillated between fear, awe, embarrassment, appreciation and possibly infatuation - I wasn't sure. The evening ran in cameo scenes over and over again in my head.

The nagging feeling that it was Alex and Lisa standing outside with Duncan earlier stayed with me until sunrise.

***

Chapter 4 – Disturbances

Jennifer was such a tightly wound Jack-in-the-box today that I wouldn't have noticed Lisa's fretting if it wasn't for the bright plum colour polish on her nails.

For the billionth time she picked up her mobile phone, pressed a few buttons then placed it back on her lap before continuing with her lunch. She had even done it during the algebra class earlier.

I knew Jennifer would nag Lisa if she noticed, so I decided to leave the matter until our philosophy class later that afternoon. Jennifer didn't share any of our classes - law and science doesn't have much in common - but Lisa shared algebra and philosophy with me.

Jennifer had chosen a table right next to the cash point of the campus dining hall, and she winked at every semi-decent guy who passed by. And then she imagined, out loud, the rest of her life with each one who winked or smiled back. I was used to her babble already and it didn't bother me much. Actually, it made it easy to be around her.

Lisa pushed the salad around on her plate a little more and looked up. She waited for Jennifer to pause for a breath and then she squeezed in her question.

"Do you guys have a signal?"

"Huh?" Jennifer's dumbstruck look quickly changed to a frown.

"Don't know, _dear_. The only signal I'm worried about is the one the next hunk will give me." She rolled her eyes. "I need to go. See you at dinner. Maybe." And with that, Jennifer pushed her plate away, jumped up and took off.

Lisa just stared at the table.

I took my phone out of my bag. "The signal strength seems fine now, or at least better than yesterday anyway."

Lisa sat motionless.

"Don't mind Jennifer. She can be self-absorbed sometimes, but I don't think it's intentional." I wasn't sure if I should ask or wait for Lisa to tell me what the matter was.

"Are you all right?" I finally asked.

Lisa sighed. "Just fine. Hey, can I come with you to your next class... as a distraction?"

"Sure." My heart fell to my shoes. The heat had made me lazy and my brain was still in shock from algebra earlier. I felt like a nice afternoon nap instead, so I tried my luck a little. "But you might not like it; it's astronomy." Traditionally only the nerds and over-ambitious prospective astronauts took astronomy. I took it as it was part of my course and so far it had been interesting, not at all what I had expected.

Lisa's expression changed into a weak smile. "Anything will do right now. I just don't want to be... on my _own_. And... and besides, astronomy sounds kind-of interesting."

Oh. Alex had dumped her. I felt sorry for her.

"Let's get going. It's almost time." I threw my bag over my shoulder as I got up and collected all three plates. "Can I grab you another cold drink for the way? This heat is killing me," I offered.

"I _know_! That's what's making me even more worried!" Lisa freaked.

Her logic didn't make sense to me, but she sounded close to tears.

"I guess there's a storm building. I mean, with the heat and all."

She didn't respond to my feeble attempt to figure out her concern about the weather, so I went to get the drinks. She looked more settled when I returned. We walked in silence for a while, sipping the heaviness away.

As we walked, I scanned the area for a tallish guy with black hair. It was second nature by now, looking for Duncan whenever I walked around on campus or entered a public place. I had spent the last few weeks searching madly for him all over, and eventually gave up as I was only driving myself to the petting zoo.

Except for the fact that my glow exactly matched the colour of the sky every day, nothing abnormal had happened since. It almost seemed unreal by now. But my curiosity was still firmly intact. I just had to figure out a way to contact Duncan to find out what exactly had happened to me.

I finished my can and glanced at Lisa. I didn't know what to say and decided to distract her.

"Hey, let me get you into the astronomy mood. About your phone: did you know that the sun can affect the weather and cause terrible mobile network interruptions? If I remember correctly, it has something to do with sunspots. Come to think of it, it's very possibly the cause of what's been going on over the last week!"

She didn't react immediately. "That's very... _interesting_." She paused, then stopped walking. "Valerie, I... I think I need to go. Maybe astronomy isn't such a good idea after all. I'll see you later."

I didn't understand her sudden change of mind. Not to mention the unusual emphasis of the word _interesting_. I guess I scared her out of astronomy. Maybe I sounded too much like a textbook recital.

"Don't worry about the silly class, you just take a deep breath and calm down. I'll see you in philosophy. Or do you want me to stay with you?" I meant it. I didn't feel like bunking anymore; the walk woke me up and besides, I was sorry for Lisa.

Lisa shook her head. "Don't worry about me. See you later." She turned and disappeared.

Even though the lecture was on the accelerated expansion of the universe, I spent the whole time trying to remember the previous lecture on the sun. I paged through my textbook looking for the section on sunspots but stopped after a reprimanding look from the Professor.

When the class finally ended, I rushed to philosophy to save a seat for Lisa. Philosophy was a big class and as it was compulsory for all the science students, it was always full to the brim.

I should have read the signs better. Lisa never showed up for class, so I took notes to share with her. It kept me busy even though the topic, evolution, didn't interest me much.

My hand was aching by the time the Professor ended his lecture. "But remember, the concept of evolution is only a _theory_. Ladies and Gents, we will have a guest speaker next week, a Professor from our satellite campus. He will elaborate on _where exactly_ during the evolution process _dead_ became _alive_."

I didn't spend another thought on evolution and headed back to the dorm. On my way, I noticed again how the colour of my glow matched the blue of the sky exactly. Reliving the whole incident with Duncan again in my mind, I suddenly noticed the time and my courage dropped to my knees.

The dorm would be busy, as it always was in the afternoons. It was customary for juniors to look down and bow to every senior as they entered, and I usually did it as fast as possible. I definitely did not want to draw any type of attention, especially not after the incident with Betty.

The worst thing happened to her, almost a week before. Betty was an overweight first-year from the fourth floor. It had been a hot day like today and she was tired after the walk to and from campus. Trying to spare her legs a little as she still had to climb the stairs to her room, and thinking she'd had enough exercise for one day, she didn't bow to Carla, a second-year.

Carla simply walked to the intercom and announced that Betty had a problem with bowing. Two minutes later the entire dorm was downstairs, crowding around Betty. It was clearly standard procedure; all the seniors knew what was coming.

They marched poor Betty to the communal garden between all the girls' dorms and under a roar of cheers and laughter and whistles which only attracted more and more curious students, made her make out with the statue of the first dean of the university.

At first, Betty turned all the shades of pink and red imaginable, but soon she started crying. Luckily the crowd was humane enough to disperse at this point, and they left the broken Betty alone to reflect on her crime.

My legs were weak from all the bowing by the time I reached my room. I dropped my bag just inside the door and fell face-down onto on my bed, relieved at making it safely to my den.

I almost fell off the bed when someone cleared their throat right next to me.

Lisa sighed. "Sorry Val, I didn't know you were really sleeping. You came in only a second ago!" She was bent down over my bed.

"Oh, hi Lisa," I yawned. "No it's fine." I slowly sat up.

"You don't look so good, you know - you have really dark circles around your eyes. Are you ill?" she asked.

I thought about it for a while. "I guess I'm more tired than I'd like to admit. I've had so much on my mind recently since the... the virus and I've been struggling to sleep. Not to mention the heat and the lectures and the exercise from climbing stairs and bowing all day."

Lisa got up off her haunches and stood next to my bed.

"Well, if that's the case, why don't you go visit your parents this weekend? I'm sure they'd love a visit from you, and you'll recharge properly there."

It was a tempting idea. One that grew on me the more I thought about it. It had been more than two months already.

"Maybe I should. I only have two scheduled classes on Friday morning and if I pack tonight, I'll still have a small part of Friday with them. Great plan. Thanks."

"Sure."

"Hey, I took notes for you in philosophy. It was a boring lecture on evolution. You didn't miss a thing." I took my notes from my bag and handed them to Lisa. "Did you want to talk to me about something?" I asked, remembering for the first time why she hadn't been in philosophy.

She sank down slowly on the edge of my bed before she answered. "It's Alex."

"Oh, don't you worry one bit about Alex. He's such a loser for leaving you. You'll find someone better." I tried to cheer her in an attempt to prevent any waterworks.

She frowned. "No, Valerie. He didn't dump me. I'm... worried... about him."

Hello World! Meet Valerie, a complete and downright idiot. My face went hot.

"Oh." I barely managed to get the one little vowel out.

"There's something the matter with him, physically. I don't know how to tell you this, it might sound ridiculous. Valerie, I think he has the same... _virus_ that you had."

Her words shocked the marrow from my bone. Lisa had no idea what she had just said. I considered the thought for a brief second only. I didn't doubt that Alex was ill, but there was simply no way at all that I could believe Duncan had been able to do to Alex what he had done to me - whatever it was.

"Impossible, I wasn't even diagnosed!"

I realised I was almost screaming, so I tried to calm down a little. "Why... why do you think that?"

But before Lisa could answer me, Jennifer flew in through the door and draped herself next to Lisa on my bed.

"Think what?" she asked inquisitively.

I was irritated with Jennifer on the spot.

"You really need to learn how to knock, you know!" I growled at her.

She stared at me for a moment, then lifted her hand and knocked on the wall, twice.

"Think what?" she insisted.

I took a breath and counted to ten. "Oh, we've a... we've been talking about the astronomy class - Lisa was curious about astronomy. I was trying to convince her to take it with me by telling her about the amazing lecture that we've had on the sun... did you know that the sun's light takes only a few minutes to reach earth? If I remember correctly it's eight minutes," I gabbled. I knew Jennifer wouldn't listen if she heard something academic in a sentence. I was kind-of proud of myself for thinking so quickly – I had just grabbed the first fact from my mind.

Lisa mouthed a 'thank you' in my direction from behind Jennifer's back.

"Gross, you guys! You've had classes all day and now you're still on about it. I have the biggest nerds ever for neighbours!" Jennifer teased with a dash of seriousness.

I rolled my eyes. "We're not _that_ bad," I half-heartedly objected and plunked down on my desk chair. Lisa didn't respond at all.

The three of us sat in silence for a short while.

"Oh. Now I remember why I came in here. Guess what, guess what!" Jennifer was like a shaken bottle of Coca Cola with the cap half open.

"I've organised us a group date for tonight!" she exploded, beaming with pride. "Lisa, you bring Alex along. And Val, you can thank me when you see him!"

"See who? Oh. Oh no! Oh no. You haven't!" Although a very small part of me did like the idea, I wondered what Jennifer had told the poor oke to convince him into a blind date with me. I felt embarrassed already and here she thought she was doing me an astronomical favour.

"Like I said, you can thank me when you see him. I have a looker too!" she exclaimed, flashing her eyelids.

Lisa jumped up. "See you later. I need to go to Alex."

"Be ready at eight!" Jennifer called after Lisa.

I was irritated with Jennifer all over again; I still needed to talk to Lisa and now I had a blind date instead.

I was about to lose it when Jennifer grabbed my arm.

"Oh, come on Val, you'll enjoy it. Just relax and be young for once. You're always so serious. Be a student a little, come and have fun! You don't need to see Ronald again if you don't want to."

It felt strange, Jennifer urging me to have fun in such a serious note. But she had a point.

"Arrgh! Fine! I'll go. But then you need to leave right now. I still have to pack and do an assignment for tomorrow."

"Great! I'll bring your dinner in a while or so, you go ahead and do your thing," she said closing the door behind her on her way out.

The thought of Alex being ill had me really upset. I wanted to find Lisa again but there were too many things to do and it was five o'clock already; I'd talk to her tomorrow morning before class. I quickly prioritised my mind and sent my mom a text message before I started packing.

_Mom, Im coming home 4 t weekend. C u tom @ 4_.

The thought of home made me happy: free of seniors and classes and strange things, just home. It didn't take too long to pack what looked like my entire room, even my text books fitted nicely inside my suitcase. But Jennifer's 'be-young-be-free' exhortation haunted me and I took my text books out again.

Jennifer walked in with my dinner just as I was about to close my suitcase. She looked at the heap of text books next to my suitcase but didn't say one word. She placed my dinner on my desk and mumbled something about knocking next time before she walked out again.

Honour bound to eat after such a gesture, I quickly gulped two bites down before feeling satiated. I pushed the plate aside and started with my astronomy assignment from today's lecture.

Paging my way to the chapter about measurements, I passed the chapter on the sun and recalled the quick sun fact that I had told Jennifer and Lisa earlier.

I found the bit that I was looking for below a small calculation:" _Light takes 500 seconds to travel from the sun to the earth, a little more than 8 minutes._ "

Something triggered in my mind. At first, I couldn't quite remember where I had heard it and why it was so important to me. Then, suddenly, I realised the connection: Duncan. Even though I had been in a mist of surprise and shock and pain, I specifically remembered him asking if it had been eight minutes already.

My intuition told me that Duncan's eight minutes were the same eight minutes as the sun's, although it didn't seem possible and I definitely didn't understand it. I sat there arguing this way and that, but couldn't logically see the link.

I was still pondering the idea of the sun having a larger influence on things than I thought when I heard a knock on my door. Jennifer walked in normally, all dressed up and ready to go in a yellow and white striped summer dress.

She gave me one look and freaked.

"What on earth are you doing? We have to go! The guys are waiting outside already!" She looked around and her tantrum escalated. "Where are your clothes? What are you going to wear? Come on Val, I even brought you dinner!"

I gulped. I forgot to leave anything out, not that there was anything in there to choose from.

She must have noticed the panic in my eyes. "I'll bring you something of mine, go jump in the shower. Just hurry, _please_."

It was the fastest and coldest shower I had taken in a long time, but refreshing. It had the effect of calming my nerves a little, nerves that threatened to mess with my sanity.

Jennifer was sitting on my desk when I ran in with the towel wrapped around me. "I've told the guys to wait a few minutes, so calm down. If you're so flustered, you'll only look flushed," she frowned.

"This'll suit you," she said pointing at the outfit on my bed. It was a short, sleeveless cat suit, silver in colour. I wanted to seriously object, but she glared at me with a gimlet eye.

"See you downstairs when you're finished." She shook her head, spun round so that her dress swayed to the side, and left.

I held the thing against me and measured it against my length. It was really short, in spite of the fact that Jennifer was slightly taller than me. At least the shoes were wearable – low heel black sandals.

The picture in the mirror was fashionable, but it wasn't me. My legs were naked and suddenly very prominent. I held my hands intertwined in front of me, but they didn't really cover any part of them. I tried to pull the little thingy down a bit, but it only looked out of proportion and I couldn't walk humped all evening. I left my room feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious and hurried down the stairs, speeding past any possible stares. I had the suspicion that Jennifer had chosen the most revealing outfit in her whole closet on purpose.

Outside the building, I could hear Jennifer's laugh somewhere in the darkness. I walked toward the sound of her babbling, to find the silhouette of her clinging to someone. Another guy was standing a little to the side of them, who I assumed was Ronald.

I recognised Jennifer's date immediately: Duncan!

***

Chapter 5 – Home, not home

The drive home topped off the worst Friday of my life. First, I had overslept horribly, was late for class and eventually, after two never-ending classes, I walked back in the pouring rain to the dorm. Then, I waited two hours for Lisa and eventually gave up. I hadn't been able to find her before class and had hoped to find her afterwards. I tried her phone about fifty three million times, but it was switched off. I missed lunch and only left around three, after a massive struggle down the stairs with my big suitcase and a growling tummy.

The drive home was terrible, terrible, terrible. I had to stop every now and then to wait for the downpour and lightning to slacken a bit as I struggled to make out anything in front of me. At times I couldn't even see the markings on the road and blindly followed the tail lights of a car in front. In the end it took almost five hours to get home.

When I left the dorm, I was still partially in control. I was mad at Duncan. A part of me considered the fact that he possibly hadn't done anything to me, maybe only set something in motion that was bound to happen someday. And he did try to protect me in a way – he warned me initially and then he spoke to me in the public park on the evening of Bridget's attack as well. But I blamed him for the elusive act that he kept pulling out of his hat, like he had again the previous night. He did it on purpose, I was sure.

But what he didn't know was that I had his number. The problem was that I didn't have the guts to phone him; I was too afraid of the truth.

Then my thoughts had spiralled out of control. That was the worst part of the drive - the continuous, torrential train of thought. About Duncan and Alex and Lisa. And a little about Jennifer and Ronald and a blind date gone wrong. And after a while, also about Bridget and the hospital and fears for my life. And glows and the moon and the sun and the earth. And classes and tests and assignments and the sun. And initiation rituals and scary steps in the dark and a red stained blouse. And then again about Duncan and Alex.

It all felt too much for me; my ship had sunk long ago and I was drowning. I stopped, more because of my own tears pouring down than the rain outside. Even the earth around me was sad and dejected.

By the time I reached home, I was completely empty.

My mom opened the door, took one look and just held me. She knew me well enough to know not to ask any questions. She called my dad to park the car in the garage and get my suitcase, while she ran a bath with lots of bubbles. He gave me a semi-smile and a kiss on the cheek, took the car keys and then went out into the rain.

I fell asleep to the sound of my parents' voices, on the couch in front of the television, after a hot cup of homemade chicken soup.

The next morning I awoke properly rested for what felt like the first time since I had left for varsity. It was good to be home. It felt normal, welcoming, sane.

But my mood was still dark. It had improved from the previous evening's self-pity and hopelessness but was now anger and frustration. I felt angry with the situation that my life was in. The weather outside reflected that with an astronomical thunder and lightning storm.

My mom was going to ask questions this morning. And I wanted to tell her the truth so badly, I wanted to share what happened with me so, so bad. I wanted to ask her advice and I wanted her to tell me that everything was going to be all right and that she would sort out Duncan and the rest of the world.

But she wouldn't be able to handle the truth. That was, if she believed me. I couldn't, couldn't tell her the truth. I'd tell her about the date, but not the weird stuff. Not now. Not ever.

The date came back to me like a chapter in a book that I didn't like very much and would rather forget.

"Oh, _at last_! Everybody, raise a glass to the presence of my friend, Valerie," Jennifer mocked. She continued with the introductions but I didn't hear one word. I couldn't keep my eyes off Duncan.

After weeks and weeks of searching and dwelling and wondering and stressing, he was finally in front of me, in person, but with a sneer on his face. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to make sure I wasn't imagining things.

Our eyes met and he was even more intimidating than I had imagined. So much so that I couldn't even remember one of the gazillion questions that I wanted to ask him. Completely unnerved, I swallowed hard, twice.

Jennifer noticed my staring and loudly cleared her throat. "Do you guys know each other?" she asked, jealousy dripping from her voice.

Before I could answer, Duncan jumped in.

"Nope, never met before. I'm Duncan, Valerie is it?" he lied, I knew it but I wasn't sure if anyone else picked up on it. I couldn't get anything out and simply nodded my head instead.

"Like I said before, Valerie, this is Ronald, _your_ date for the evening," she said with a forced smile and stiff neck. I didn't want to upset Jennifer any further and mumbled a 'hi' in Ronald's direction.

Ronald smiled widely. "Hi Valerie, nice meeting you," he said, peeking at my legs. Under normal circumstances I probably would have blushed, but I didn't care about the stupid outfit anymore. All I could think of was Duncan; he was the spindle of my thoughts.

"Let's get going then. I can't wait to see that new horror! Luckily I have a strong man to protect me," Jennifer batted her eyelashes at Duncan. "We're taking Ronald's car," she continued and pulled on Duncan's arm, "as Lisa and Alex won't be coming."

The mention of Lisa's name instantly brought back the conversation that I had earlier with her, as well as the thought that Duncan was possibly responsible for Alex's illness. It occurred to me that it was very coincidental that Duncan had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, at exactly the same time as Alex's illness. Concern over Alex forced me to control of my feelings.

"Why not?" I asked Jennifer and carefully watched Duncan's expression.

"Lisa said Alex isn't feeling very well. They're going to watch DVD's or something boring," Jennifer answered. It was difficult to be absolutely sure in the half-dark of the streetlights, but Duncan's face stayed the neutral same, his eyes fixed on Jennifer. I felt reassured that he and Alex didn't know each other.

We squeezed into Ronald's small little Mini Cooper. "It's convenient for the city traffic," he defended. No one answered him. Jennifer jumped into the back, dragging Duncan along. Ronald held the door for me in front. He immediately turned the music up. It was loud, dance-type music that seemed to propel the little car forward.

Duncan's presence had me on edge and I couldn't finish one straight thought in line before the next. I was intensely aware of him but also angry at him. A part of me felt like beating the answers from him there and then. Not that I would even if I had the chance; he was my solid ground, my only alliance in this big mystery.

After a deep breath, I relaxed my clenched fists and moved my attention deliberately to Ronald, taking proper notice of him for the first time. He was tall and had a strong physique with red, curly hair and a boyish face; kind of good looking but definitely no Alex. Or Duncan.

Ronald noticed my gaze, smiled back at me and stepped a little harder on the accelerator. Realising that he was getting the wrong impression, I turned my head away as far as possible and kept it there until we had parked. Ronald immediately rushed around the car to open the door for me. Duncan didn't do the same for Jennifer, I noticed.

As soon as I was out, Jennifer asked the guys to buy the tickets. She pinched me and then dragged me to the loo.

"Valerie, what's wrong with you? Get a grip! We talked to you in the car and you didn't even bother to respond. Are you going to be like this the whole evening? It's not very polite you know." She turned to the mirror to apply even more mascara to her eyelashes.

I was about to defend myself when she interrupted me, before I even started. "Oh, and by the way, I saw how you stared at Duncan. You better not mess this up for me. I like him a lot and I would really like a repeat date after this one. Besides, Ronald is definitely into you." She smiled at me.

"You ready?" she asked, but didn't wait for an answer and walked out. I mumbled a yeah to myself and then followed her, feeling heavy and frustrated. The possibility of finding answers was fading quickly. It was quite a pickle that I was in - I would never get a moment with Duncan while Jennifer was so clingy.

And I had to get Duncan alone and demand answers from him; he owed me that much at least.

Jennifer made sure that Duncan sat as far away from me as possible. I was stuck with Ronald and a bogus movie. Even Ronald grinned every now and then. Maybe he thought the movie was phony as well.

Things got really awkward when Jennifer first hinted and then tried to make out with Duncan. She sighed and made noises and giggled. Ronald looked at me and leaned forward. I panicked and pushed back into my seat as far as possible. To my great relief, he didn't try to kiss me. Instead, he whispered in my ear: "You wanna get out of here?" The lighting concealed my blush. I felt like a lamebrain but nodded eagerly.

We walked out and found an open table in a coffee shop close by, with a cosy atmosphere and a homely aroma of coffee. He pulled the chair out for me and waited for me to sit before sitting down himself. It wasn't the first well-mannered gesture for the evening, but it didn't make up for my growing feeling of irritation towards Ronald.

"So Valerie, what kind of movies do you prefer if these fake horrors aren't your type?" he asked after he had ordered two Irish coffees from the waitress.

"Actually any kind of movie without weird kissing noises is fine for me," I said, embarrassed at the thought of their shamelessness. That was typical of Jennifer. She did everything in extreme.

"Yeah, wasn't that awkward!" he grinned.

I agreed with him in silence, but it wasn't nearly as awkward or tongue-tied as the two hours Ronald and I spent staring wordlessly at each other. I guess what could have added to the stiffness was my refusal to drink the extra strong whiskyed coffee: I ordered a cup of Rooibos tea. And maybe also that I moved away every time he moved closer but I couldn't help it, his staring at my legs put me off.

I didn't want to be with Ronald.

I wanted to be with Duncan.

I wished both Jennifer and Ronald away and felt a little guilty afterwards.

At one stage, Ronald excused himself to the gents' loo and left his phone lying on the table. It happened to face me and I couldn't help but notice that there was a message from Duncan.

It was the perfect opportunity to get his number. I accidentally pushed it from the table and accidentally pushed the green button as I picked it up again, or that was what I planned to tell him. The message read:

Remember our deal. Hands off her or suffer.

What was that about? Did Ronald get too close to Jennifer? It couldn't be, he was with me the whole time. Was Duncan talking about me? It didn't make any sense. I felt completely sick trying to figure out everything. Maybe I was being paranoid and nothing was going on at all. To ease my conscience, I decided not to worry about another grain on a beach of sand.

I deleted the message; I really didn't want him to know I had read a message like that.

When he returned, I simply couldn't stand his presence any longer and I asked him to take me back to the dorm. And that was the end of a bad blind date.

But it wasn't all bad, I had Duncan's number as a consolation prize.

I sighed and decided to put it out of my mind. I was at home now, and I was going to be cheerful and make the best of my visit. I delayed going to the kitchen and stayed in bed for awhile, but I couldn't stay forever and eventually got up.

In the kitchen, there was a note for me on the oven door.

Went to the store, back soon. Pancakes in the oven. Love.

I made myself a cup of coffee and indulged in the spoils of a caring mom. I ate until my tummy hurt, which subdued the feeling of anger a little.

My parents drove in just as I finished the dishes.

"Glad to see that you're better this morning," my mom said while we unpacked the groceries.

"Guess so." A little better.

"Honey, we need to talk to you. Make us all a nice hot cup of tea and then take it to the living room while I finish these bags."

My dad was already waiting, and moments later my mom came in. She sat down next to my dad, opposite me. They were both very serious.

"Valerie, you need to know, before we tell you this, that we love you. We always have and always will, no matter what." Fear stroked my throat and I took another sip of tea. My dad never called me Valerie. Dear or Honey or Lovey, but never Valerie. Didn't they want me anymore? Did my real mother find them? I braced myself for what was coming.

"We don't know how it happened or why it happened now, but, Valerie, we know. To be honest, there was a time that we thought it would never happen. We know, Honey."

I stared at him. What on earth was he saying?

"Know _what_ , Dad?" It was difficult to hide the emotion and it came out hard.

"We can see your resonance colour," he said slowly and softly.

"You can... see...?" was all I managed to get out.

"Hank, I told you she wasn't ready for this. Stop now. Stop now, please?" my mom begged.

I didn't have the energy to move a muscle.

They were in on this. They knew all along.

I looked at them, my parents, sitting next to each other with their tea cups in their hands. Around me was the familiar living room. I had grown up here. But it all looked different to me now. It was a picture and a feeling that would probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

Home, but not home.

I felt cold inside and it wasn't only because my hair was wet from running in the rain to get the grocery bags.

Cold and alone, utterly alone, like never before.

I stood up and walked out into the rain. I walked and walked until my feet hurt, until I didn't know where I was any more.

When I couldn't walk any further, I sat down. And after the feeling in my feet came back, I got up and walked on again.

***

Chapter 6 – Ray of light

Alex found me, just sitting.

An overwhelming feeling of nothingness was growing infinitely big inside of me, when he appeared out of nowhere. He didn't say one word, just sat down next to me.

I don't know how long we were there, sitting in silence, side by side. I had no idea of the time or where we were and I didn't care. It was only when the hailstorm broke out that I looked up at Alex. He was extremely pale, as if he had lost his tan overnight and he looked tired. I thought of finding shelter, not for myself but for him. I got up and so did he.

"We need to find shelter. Do you have any ideas?" I croaked in a rusty whisper.

He nodded. "Follow me."

In spite of the hail, he walked very slowly. The hailstones stung my already freezing body. Each step was a new layer of bruises, but my legs were too shaky to ask him to go faster. After what felt like too many minutes, we reached the road and his car. He took out a towel from the backseat and gave it to me. I wrapped myself in it and climbed into the front seat; he didn't have another one for himself.

We drove through an assault of hailstones against the car. It was dark outside and I didn't recognise the area. I stared out the window at the whitening road speeding by. He didn't take me home; instead he took me to an old log cabin somewhere in the bush.

By the time we stopped, the hailstorm had died down. Alex and I were actually no more than acquaintances and I belatedly realised that I didn't know him at all. But I didn't have any energy left to be suspicious about his intentions and wearily got out of the car and went into the cabin.

The inside was an open plan setup, with a few camping beds grouped in one corner, the kitchen area in another and some loose chairs making up a sitting area. He dragged two chairs closer to the fireplace and built a comforting fire.

In the heat of the fire my body felt frozen solid, my limbs hurt from the cold. I guess we both warmed up a little after a while, because he moved deeper into his chair and rested his head against the back.

I wanted to ask where Lisa was. I wanted to ask how he found me. And why. And whose place this was. And how he knew the area. But the silence was too peaceful to interrupt.

My legs went into shock later from not moving; they were screaming needles and pins. I looked at Alex and he was asleep, I was sure. So I slowly tried to move one foot up and down. The movement felt numb and clumsy. When I picked up the other foot, the chair made a squeaking noise.

Alex's head popped up and he looked at me with a frown.

"Sorry," I said.

He sighed and got up. He grubbed around in the fridge before returning with two frozen steaks and two cups. He gave me one of the cups, the steaks he placed in a pan next to the fire.

I took a sip of the liquid; it was sherry. I've never particularly liked alcohol, but the sherry was ambrosia. It slowly dispelled the cold and by the time the steaks were defrosted, I was as well.

"Are you all right?" he finally asked.

My brain was in remote control mode. I was on a different planet, safe and far away and nothing was real. Off course, the sherry could have been the reason why I felt that way.

I was tired of keeping all the secrets to myself, and my instinct told me to trust him. Something gave way inside me, under the pressure of me against me. So I told him. I told him everything, _everything_.

Alex didn't move a muscle when I told him about what had happened with Duncan. He glanced up when I told him about the hospital and the jump from the window, but throughout the rest of my story, he kept himself busy with preparing the steaks.

I told him my whole story as if it were someone else's, without any emotion. It came out slow and staggering at times, especially with the intoxicating effect of the sherry. But every word was a healing word. It tumbled mountains off my shoulders to have someone else know the truth.

When the steaks were done, he conjured up a can of baked beans from a cupboard somewhere. He filled both our cups again before handing me my dinner. It was the best steak ever, in spite of the fact that I didn't even like medium-rare steaks.

"Thank you," I said when I had finished. He flashed me half a smile before getting comfortable in his chair again.

I washed the dishes with a sponge and soap that I found in the little cupboard next to the fridge. It was cold being away from the fire, so I hurried with the silly chore to get back to my seat.

He refilled our cups again before he looked very seriously at me. "Valerie, I don't mean to tell you what to do and what not to. But I really, really _need_ you... to accept who you are." He sounded short of breath and he still didn't look very well, even in the half dark of the fire.

It was strange to hear him speak, startling the silence with something so unexpected and so personal. In the haze of the sherry, I didn't grasp the full implication of his words.

"I like who I am!" I defended.

"Valerie!" he scolded.

The topic was getting too personal. I didn't want to dwell on me any further, not in a conversation with Alex. There were other things that I wanted to know.

"Where is Lisa? Does she know you're here?"

"Lisa is back at varsity, and yes, she knows that I'm here."

"Oh. You don't look so good. Lisa said you were ill. What's the matter? Is it because of Duncan?"

"Yes, I am ill. If only this weather...." He stopped abruptly and then cleared his throat before he continued. "I doubt that it's because of some _person_ like... like _Duncan_ ," he said disgusted. "I only saw him twice recently. The first time was the day that you arrived, the second time was the night at the party. And he's not strong enough to do anything to me."

I knew it. It _was_ Alex out there with Duncan on the night of the party.

"I knew it was you!" I yelled.

"Yes, we discovered that you were watching a little too late," he answered in a regretful tone.

"What were you doing out there?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you one day, not now. I don't want to make it more difficult for you."

I thought about his words and believed him. Although I was finally getting a few answers, I didn't want to go against Alex's judgement. So I jumped to the next question.

"Why are you saving me?"

"Well, partially because your dad sent me."

"Oh. So you know my dad?"

"Yes, I've known your father for a long time. You have wonderful parents, you really should appreciate them."

"I do, actually. How do you know them?"

He huffed, out of breath, but then continued at a tangent.

"Don't you love being outside in the bush?"

"I've always loved it," I answered, too inebriated to notice that he had made a sharp u-turn.

We ended up talking: well, he talking and I slurring, about nature. I told him about my memories of being out in the wild and how I'd always felt more alive when I was outside, told him every little detail of each image that I still had in my head.

He occasionally smiled or nodded, as if acknowledging or maybe recognising a particular part that I was describing, getting up every now and then to refill my glass.

By the time that the fire was cold, I was completely smashed.

When I woke up the next morning, I had a pounding headache and Alex was gone. His car stood outside, but he was gone. The last thing that I remembered was him carrying me to a bed and throwing a blanket over me.

He hadn't said anything about his plans the night before. I eventually found a note in the kitchen on the table next to the kettle.

_Had to leave. Clean clothes in the bathroom. Take my car and go_ home _. GPS inside._

I made myself a cup of coffee and went outside to sit on the porch. The first rays of the morning sun were peeking through a bank of clouds above the mountain silhouette below.

The view that stretched out in front of me was breathtaking. The cabin was built close to the top of a hummock that looked down upon waving, dense bushveld. The smell and sense of the bush have always been especially beguiling to me, And with the marvellous landscape in front of me, I made a decision.

I decided to take control of my life.

I've always believed in an internal locus of control, and in recent months I had not been living up to my own beliefs. It was high time that I stopped being a victim. And stopped dwelling on past events that I'd never be able to change.

There were a few things that I simply had to face.

I was born this way, whatever _this way_ was. My parents confirmed that. According to my knowledge, the people who knew about it, besides my parents, were Alex and Duncan and most probably Lisa. And Bridget. The fact that they knew about all the abnormal activity was actually a blessing. It meant that I wasn't crazy, I wasn't alone, and there were people who clearly cared deeply for me on my side.

It also meant that there were people who weren't on my side.

I finished my coffee and hit the shower. It felt absolutely wonderful to wash off the past day or so. Then I jumped into the oversized pants and shirt that looked like Alex's. Not that I minded, I was only too thankful.

Before I closed the door of the cabin, the two empty seats in front of the fireplace caught my eye. A feeling of tenderness came over me as I thought about Alex. This cabin would always be special to me. Not only because of the surroundings, but because it was where I had found a few rays of light in the dark.

It was strange to climb into the driver's seat of Alex's car. I wasn't used to all the luxuries on the inside and took a moment to figure out what was what. Eventually, with the seat and mirrors adjusted, I slowly took off. It was nerve-testing driving Alex's fancy car to my parents using a GPS on an unfamiliar road. I held my breath for most of the way. Luckily the road wasn't busy; I guess it was too early.

***

Chapter 7 – Red-hot poker

A red-hot poker is a flower, also called a flameflower, rocket flower or a soldier flower in Afrikaans. In appearance it resembles a rocket, flame and soldier for its shape and colour.

I was half an hour from home according to the GPS when I noticed two black Mercedes Benz behind me. Their windows were darkened and I couldn't make out any figures inside.

Initially I didn't mind them much. I switched on the radio and a Locnville CD suddenly played very loudly. I was impressed with Alex's taste. I started to sing along but stopped almost immediately because my head was pounding and my tongue was super-glued to my palate. Out of shock I turned the music down a little.

When the second song ended, the Mercs were still behind me, close behind me, in spite of the two turns that I had taken. It was a little odd that they were still there; it made me uncomfortable. The image of a high speed chase danced in front of me for a moment, but it seemed too reckless.

I remembered that there was a small road café just a little further down the road. It would be a safe option to test my growing suspicion that they were following me, as it was a busy café.

My palms were sweaty as I approached the turnoff. I'd have to do it so that they either could not follow me or couldn't get me alone if they did follow me. At least I didn't feel as uncertain behind the wheel now as when I had left this morning.

The turn that I took was sharp and sudden, without using my indicators. The wheels left an impressive cloud of dust behind as they hit the gravel. Then I had to step hard on the brakes to slow down as I quickly approached an old Toyota Hilux in the parking lot. While all this was happening I kept one eye on the Mercs. Luckily, they continued at speed without turning off. I breathed a sigh of relief, writing the whole incident off to an overactive imagination.

It was only when I reached the till to pay for an aspirin and a litre of water that I remembered that I had no money on me. I had walked out of my parents' home without taking my phone or my wallet. But it didn't really matter as I was close to home, so I apologised and left the stuff on the counter. I walked out, got into Alex's car again and slowly drove on.

It was midday, according to the clock in the car, when I turned into our familiar driveway. The front door was locked and no one answered the bell. After waiting a bit and peeking through the open windows, I walked round to the back door, and tried that. But it was locked as well. I called for a time or so, but there was no response. It wasn't like my parents to be away on a Sunday, except for church. But church usually ended around eleven o'clock.

They used to hide the spare key in the soil of the marigold flower bowl when I was still in school. Sure enough, I found it easily and opened the back door. As soon as I was in, I took off my shoes. My feet were blistered and hurting from the long walk the other day. Then I went to my bedroom to get my phone. It was still where I had left it, on my bed pedestal.

My dad's number was on speed dial and I held the number three button in as I walked to the front door to get my clothes from Alex's car. I was about to unlock the dead bolt when I stopped cold in my tracks: the two black Mercs had just turned into the driveway.

They couldn't have seen me, they were still turning in but by this time I was already flat on my stomach below the window sill and doing an award-winning leopard crawl away from the front door. At least my phone was in my hand and my dad's number was already ringing on the other side. With every ring, I prayed harder and harder for him to answer, but it went onto the answering machine.

I slowly got up on my haunches and peeked out through the window from behind the curtain. I briefly made out four blonde men, dressed in black army-looking clothes, climbing out of the Mercs.

I could never challenge these intimidating army-looking guys! I would have to hide or run. I picked run, as they would eventually find me if I tried to hide. They had parked behind Alex's car and probably knew that I was in here somewhere.

There was the sound of four car doors being shut. I counted very carefully as I had to make sure what I was up against, but the sound urged me to get away from the open window. At mach speed I ran to the back door, which was still open, and motored out of the house.

By the time I had reached the precast wall, they were already in the backyard. With the suppleness of years of gymnastics, I climbed up against the wall.

"Valerie!" one of them called after me.

Their calling was like a fillip, only causing me to panic more. I glanced back at them quickly then launched myself over into the veldt at the back of our house.

They were catching up fast.

Something happened when my bare feet hit the earth. At first, it looked as if the wind was blowing, but only around me, stirring the grass, trees and leaves. It was a subtle sound, almost a 'pssst-here-I-am' rustle. Then I noticed a pattern to the movement. The leaves would blow a step or two ahead of me, as if the wind was giving me direction and the grass was telling me where to put my feet.

Duncan's voice came to me. I remembered a little more of what he had told me the very first day that I saw him.

" _Listen carefully. She will speak to you when you need her... always trust her, she is on your side more than anyone else in the universe."_

There wasn't time to dwell on Duncan's words; both the urge and instinct to obey was very strong. It welled up inside me and took control of my legs and feet, but I wasn't scared. It was rather a feeling of salvation, an answer to my cry of distress. I followed the indicated path and the further I went, the more I gained an advantage on the thugs behind me. And it certainly was not because I was faster than them, but because the way simply opened up for me.

It was a true connection with nature; the earth was talking to me, responding to my needs.

I continued running until they were completely out of sight. I thought that I had lost them, but the grass kept on shaking. It only stopped after I had reached a small opening in the roots of a massive Baobab tree. I crawled in as deep and as fast as I possibly could and then waited.

I tried to get out once. A red-hot poker right next to the entrance of the opening caught my attention – it was shaking so violently that its long slender leaves were flying about. I immediately recognised it as the earth's way of telling me to wait a little longer. Moments later, I heard footsteps getting closer. I pulled my legs in tightly and held my breath.

The footsteps were now very close.

The last thing that I thought about at that moment was my phone. I had completely forgotten about it, otherwise I would have switched to silent mode.

There was simply no escape when it started to ring in my pocket, not even if the earth swallowed me whole on that instant. It was my dad's ringtone. I pulled the phone out of my pocket and crawled out of hiding. I slowly got up.

They awaited me in a half-moon shape, so close to the opening that running wasn't a possibility. My heart was in my throat, my phone in my hand and my hands in the air. They stared at me.

"Aren't you going to answer your phone?" one of them asked.

I figured it was rather unusual for attackers to allow someone to answer their phone. What if I cried for help? But I clutched the opportunity with both hands and answered as fast as I could before the phone stopped ringing.

"Valerie, hallo!" I managed with a shaky voice, watching their reactions very carefully. I didn't want to reveal it was my dad.

"Hello dear. How are you? We were worried sick about you!"

They didn't move and I grabbed the chance.

"Dad, I'm in the veldt behind your house. I am being held by four men. Come and get me, please," I said as fast as I could, watching them with a hawk's eye.

Not one of them moved a muscle; they just frowned a little harder.

My dad's voice suddenly sounded very serious. "What do they look like? Oh, let me describe them and then you confirm. They look a lot like... uh... like Alex, strongly built, blonde and tanned. Maybe a few years older than Alex."

"Yeah, they do look like Alex!" I was surprised that my dad could describe them. And surprised that he admitted that he knew Alex.

"They are on your... on our side, dear. We sent the Reds to protect you, especially with... I can't really talk over the phone and I don't have much time either. Ask the Reds. I need to hurry, dear."

I felt a blush growing from my ankles up to cover my cheeks. It was so typical of me, running away from the _good_ guys!

"Why do I need protection all of a sudden?"

"Just being careful. And... and Alex phoned me last night after he found you. He mentioned the attack on you while you were in hospital. But I really need to go now, dear."

Then I remembered something. "Dad? Dad, wait. I'm sorry, Dad. For walking out the other day, I mean. It ...was all just too much for me."

"Valerie, it's understandable. As long as you are all right?"

"I guess I am, I'm fine, for the moment," I said, looking up at four pairs of eyes. "Where are you and Mom? I went home this morning and you weren't there?"

"Ask the Reds. Bye, Valerie. You take care of yourself."

"Bye, Dad."

I placed the phone in my pocket and cleared my throat. The four men in front of me didn't look so intimidating anymore. They looked like regular guys, although their looks weren't simply regular. To me, they would definitely pass as gorgeous.

Their grins didn't help my blush at all: nor did the fact that I was still ridiculously dressed in Alex's oversized shorts and shirt.

"Hi, I'm Valerie, nice to meet you all," I took control. I stuck out my hand to introduce myself.

The shortest one answered. "Sorry Valerie, we didn't mean to scare you. I'm Peter. We are the closest red dwarfs."

I had no idea what he meant, but felt too embarrassed to ask. "Oh," I replied simply.

The others introduced themselves as well, "Benjamin," "Wilfred," "Leo," they said, but they completely ignored my out-stretched hand.

"Let's go home and get something to drink! All this running has made me thirsty!" Leo complained, the tallest of the four.

No one argued as the thick clouds were opening up again and the temperature was rising.

We walked only a few paces before my curiosity won the upper hand.

"Where are my parents? My Dad said to ask you guys."

"Your parents were summoned to an emergency meeting, with Alex being in a coma and all," Benjamin answered. He was right next to me at that moment.

"Alex... in a coma?" I was astonished. He hadn't looked very well last night, but I never would have dreamt that his condition was that bad.

"But why? And why would my parents go to a meeting because Alex is in a coma? I don't understand." I was really puzzled.

"Well, isn't it obvious? We're all trying to figure out where the attack..."

From the corner of my eye I noticed Wilfred giving Benjamin a nudge.

"Uh...sorry, I don't think we're supposed to tell you any of this. All I can tell you is that we will be close behind you for the next few days."

"And why on earth can't you tell me more?" I exclaimed, a little too harshly.

"Well, for one, the weather is finally clearing up," he answered.

I wrongfully interpreted his answer as a way of telling me that he was not going to discuss the subject any further.

"Arrgh!! Fine!" I gave up. "I need to get back to varsity, it's getting late. And I need to go to Lisa, to see if she is all right. What hospital is Alex in? Or are you not allowed to say?"

"We'll take you there. It's close to campus. Leo will take Alex's car and you can take your own," Benjamin offered.

"Thanks." I had wondered how was going to drive two cars at once.

It was strange, and I had to admit, kind-of awesome having an army of hunks looking out for me. Jennifer would be so jealous if she was to find out about it.

"Any of you related to Alex? You all look alike, I have to say."

"Not in the sense that you mean. But we are close confidants," Benjamin said.

We walked a few paces before I thought of another problem.

"So, are you guys also studying?" If they were to follow me around on campus, it would be less conspicuous if they blended in instead of sticking together. At least if they were enrolled there, no one would make a fuss about them. Except for Jennifer, of course.

"No, not studying anymore. But we all know the campus very well," Leo answered.

I realised that I was bombarding them with questions. Maybe that was the reason for the staccato answers I got.

We walked around the block this time so I didn't have to jump any walls. I was still tired from the escapades of the weekend, and I guess it showed, because Benjamin again made me an offer, suggesting that I drive with him and one of the others drive my car.

It was late already and I hurried to get my things. We all agreed to get something to eat from the drive-through. This time, I remembered my wallet and phone and grabbed a pillow for the trip.

The combination of the marathon earlier, wheels turning and a full tummy was potent and I felt sleepy the moment Benjamin switched on the car. He turned on the radio after we had finished our take-away. Out of politeness I tried my best to stay awake at least until we had left town.

"You go right ahead, I don't mind. I'll wake you in time," he said with his green eyes smiling at me.

"Thanks, Benjamin," I said with my head already resting against my pillow. "And thanks for looking out for me." I trusted him completely; after all, my Dad had sent them.

He replied with a smile. "No problem. Anything for Alex."

My resistance crumbled completely. I didn't even react to his mistake. He had said 'Alex' instead of 'your Dad'.

It was only when I was almost asleep in the fancy black Mercedes that the wonder of what happened in the veldt earlier hit me.

***

Chapter 8 – Linked

To my great relief, Alex was in a different hospital to the one I'd been in. Who knows what I would have done if I had to see Bridget again. Not that I was scared, I was prepared this time: the Reds were with me, all of them. In preparation I'd told Benjamin about the episode with Bridget, not in detail, just the outlines. Then I'd explained roughly where the hospital was the way I remembered it from walking. Benjamin assured me that it wasn't the same one, but I'd been worried ever since he had woken me.

We were lucky, visiting hours had just started when we arrived. Peter talked to the lady behind the counter at the reception, and she pointed us in the right direction.

The image of Alex lying there motionless was shocking. I couldn't believe how weak he looked, as pale as the sheets, with the heart monitor beeping insistently in the background. It had me really upset, so I could understand why Lisa was going bonkers.

She clearly knew the Reds, because when she saw all of us, she tried to smile. Alex looked bad, but so did Lisa. She was pale with bright red cheeks, red puffy eyes; she was sloppily dressed and her hair was standing up all over the place. She tried to speak, but instead she started to cry.

I blamed myself for leaving her over the weekend. I should have stayed with her for support. After all, she was a very good friend. And to think that Alex had been with me for a good part of the weekend, when she'd been the one worrying about him! Guilt pushed up bitter into my mouth. For the second time I vowed to stay away from Alex on Lisa's behalf.

Only after Peter hugged her and told her over and over that Alex was going to be fine, did she calm down a little.

I felt even guiltier when I found out that Lisa had brought him in some time during the early morning hours, after he had phoned her and told her that he was getting worse. She drove all the way out, helped him into the car and brought him here. Apparently he fell into a coma shortly after they arrived at hospital.

What bothered me the most was the fact that she must have seen me there, in the cabin alone with Alex. And that in the midst of all her trouble and his illness, the two of them thought about me, because they left me Alex's car, clothes and the GPS to get home. These two people had been having real problems of their own, but they'd put me first. They had supported me despite my childish tantrum-attack.

Oh, I felt like such a selfish idiot. And to be honest, I was very nervous to see her reaction towards me.

We all stayed a while and then persuaded Lisa to take a little break from the hospital. She needed something to eat and a bit of rest, seeing that she had been guarding his bed since who-knows-when this morning. I wanted to ask her how she was holding up, but I couldn't get myself so far; I was too afraid of her response.

We left the hospital, and on our way to the dorm we stopped at a roadhouse to get Lisa something to eat. We arrived thereafter at the dorm with a fleet of cars: mine, Alex's Lexus, Lisa's little white Mazda and the Reds' two Mercs. It was conspicuous but luckily it was after ten on a Sunday evening and quiet.

The guys insisted on checking our rooms first, but juniors weren't allowed to have any boys in their rooms. So we had to sneak them in, especially as we had parked in front, overlooked by all the senior rooms. In spite of the fact that I had vowed not to use the emergency stairs again, there wasn't any other option. I definitely didn't want to risk public humiliation or the prospect of the Reds potentially witnessing an embarrassing scene with a statue. With a crack in my voice, I mentioned the alternative.

No one looked intimidated when they saw the stairs, not even Lisa. Maybe she was too tired to care. But for me, this time was even worse than before: these four guys weren't exactly lightweights. Lisa went up first, slowly, and then the guys went up one at a time while I waited below. There was one little step that really squeaked, close to the top. It bent under Benjamin's weight, and made a loud knocking sound. Luckily it didn't give and everybody made it safely.

The guys walked though the emergency door with us and checked our rooms thoroughly before doing the hallway, the stairs and the bathrooms. Peter and Leo would take turns to guard the dorm during the night and Benjamin and Wilfred would do the next day. It had been a long day for them as well and they left immediately.

Lisa fell onto her bed, face down.

Then there it was, the awkward moment that I feared, alone with Lisa. She definitely had hard feelings towards me, because she pretended that I wasn't there. After a moment of standing with a mouth full of teeth, I couldn't take the pressure any longer and I just blurted it all out.

"Everything will work out fine, Lisa." I tried Peter's approach, which had worked on her before.

She started crying again, and then lifted up to face me, with an angry expression.

"Don't you know what's going on? Are you dumb or blind? How can a person be so thick?"

I expected a harsh reaction, although it was strange coming from Lisa. But she was jealous, even though it hurt my feelings a little that she didn't trust me. I started babbling nervously.

"I'm sorry Lisa, I truly am. I didn't plan to see Alex over the weekend. He came out of nowhere. I really didn't mean to interfere with your relationship and definitely not to upset you. Please, you have to believe me, nothing happened. We only talked..."

She interrupted me in surprise. "Whatever are you talking about?"

The words struggled to find a way out of my mouth. "About him saving me and... and... spending the weekend...?" I stuttered.

Her screams interrupted me. "NO VALERIE! That's not it!"

Her violent reaction froze me wordlessly in place, but she flew up and grabbed my arm to pull me down onto the bed, facing her.

"My patience is up with you! Everybody keeps on telling me to wait and let you figure it out by yourself. But it's taking too long and I can't handle this any longer."

I was astonished at her anger.

"What, Lisa?" I asked in a hurt whisper. I felt like crying.

"Everything is about _you_. You, Valerie. All of this is about you. And to think you take astronomy! Couldn't you figure it out?" she scowled.

I slowly shook my head.

She got up from the bed and switched on the kettle in the corner of her room. We waited for the water to boil in absolute silence. Then she made us tea and handed me a cup before she continued more calmly.

"Okay, sorry, I shouldn't have screamed at you. I shouldn't take out my frustrations on you. Sorry, Val."

"It's okay, I probably deserved it," I replied feeling sorry for myself even though I didn't know why.

"Don't be such a martyr," she sighed. "I'll help you in the right direction, but only a little and only because I care for you. You're more than a friend to me, you're like a sister, and not without reason." She examined me before continuing. "What I'm about to tell you might sound impossible but you will know it to be true, if not now, soon enough. So bear with me, okay?"

My hands were shaking. This is what I had been afraid of all along. "I'll try."

"Here goes. Valerie, you have experienced a 'connection' with the earth, right? Connection might not be the right word. It's more like a... a bond. It might have presented itself in the form of an answer to a need, such as healing?"

I nodded. I recalled the night that I had jumped from the hospital window. The mud in the park had certainly had a healing effect on me.

"Well, it is unique in the sense that your connection is with earth. But there are similar types of connections or links with other people and their... planets. "

I frowned at Lisa. It sounded absolutely impossible, but right in a sense. If I really believed that my 'connection' existed, it was only logical for others to exist as well.

"It's all about distance. You have the strongest connection, since you are directly in contact with your planet. It also makes you the most powerful human on earth. You, and only you, can harness the earth's power to its full potential, unlike the others who have lesser power. Not without consequences of course, but theoretically, it is possible."

Her words were incredible. Why on earth would silly me be so powerful, out of all people? It was a mistake, of that I was sure.

Then a part of me hesitated and considered the recent weird events. Was there a possibility it could be true?

"Wow," was all I managed.

"So you can understand now, why you need protection." Assuming there was truth to any of this, the danger about the situation became clear as sunlight. That was why there were people after me. It gave me goose bumps as I thought about it.

"How do you know all this?" I asked, sipping my tea.

"Well, I have a unique connection as well, with Venus, the earth's sister planet. You might know that from astronomy," she said slightly sarcastically.

"Yes, I know. Is that why we are such good friends?"

"I believe so, yes." She inspected me before she continued. "I think that's enough for now. You need to digest this first, decide if you believe it or not."

I wasn't finished with her yet. "But what has all of this got to do with Alex?"

"Let's just say that he and I are both on your side. And someone is trying to attack him for protecting you."

It was my fault, all of this, as she had said. I didn't like the thought of it.

"Isn't there anything that I can do... with my connection... to help?"

"It's too dangerous, Val. Your link is still very new, and because it is so powerful, you cannot afford to test it. Your body needs to grow stronger, to adjust to it over time. It has to happen at your pace."

"Oh."

"Now, please, I'm dog-tired and stressed to my limit. Go and think about it, get used to the idea, make peace with it. You have been affecting the weather and we've noticed your bad moods and struggles."

So that was what Alex had meant, that he needed me to accept myself. He knew about my inner conflicts, could read them, based on the condition of the weather. I felt embarrassed that my insides were so exposed.

"You'll be safe, don't worry, the Reds are outside. They've been around for a while and they know exactly what they are doing."

I felt guilty again. Lisa was the one in a state and here she was again trying to talk me into a better mood.

"Thank you, Lisa. I really appreciate you. You need to know that."

"Sure," and she finished her tea. Then she placed the empty cup on her bed pedestal, fell to her back and closed her eyes.

"Can I get you anything? Water? A sleeping pill? Anything?"

"No!" she urged, her eyes flying wide open. "Don't ever drink sleeping pills, it only weakens your connection and therefore you as well. I'd rather suffer through weeks of insomnia than drink even a single sleeping pill!"

That cleared up another matter for me: Bridget. Bridget had given me sleeping pills because she wanted to weaken me.

"Okay, no one told me that. I won't take sleeping pills. But can't I get you something? I can run you a nice hot bath?"

"No thanks, I'm going to try to sleep now."

"Me too, it's been a very long day. G'nite." And with that, I walked out of her room.

I took a long hot bath that worked wonders for my troubled mind and my feet, still hurting from all the walking and running away over the weekend.

I had barely dealt with my parents knowing, and the veldt showing me the way, and now there was all the stuff that Lisa had just told me. I was starting to worry if I would be able to finish this year without being booked into the funny-farm a time or two.

At least I was safe, really safe for once. It made the other worries look a little smaller.

Lisa had said it: I have a unique connection with earth. In that moment I knew it was true. It had been staring me right in the face. That was why I had all the memories of being in the wild.

I felt special. And humble. And so, so proud.

The earth chose me.

It was awesome. I have always loved nature, and this was an honour. The way that the earth had responded to my need earlier this afternoon by showing me where to run and where to hide was absolutely incredible, special. I wished I had the words to describe my feelings: I wanted to phone my mom. And Duncan, to thank him for my gift, or for his contribution. Not that I knew exactly how he fitted into all of this. But I knew that I owed him one massive thank you.

But it was very late already, and I decided to phone them both the following day. Duncan wouldn't mind me phoning, even though I'd stolen his number. Not if he had given me such a big gift. After all, he had started all this, he was the trigger. I trusted Duncan more than anyone else - not that it made sense, but I just did. Deep down, I knew he was more than a mere acquaintance, much more.

As I got out of the bath onto my throbbing feet, I decided to test the healing part soon. My mind wandered again to Lisa's revelation. It was an intriguing thought, having the earth's power in my custody. The way She answered my need the other day had been extraordinary. Who knew what else was possible?

My studies so far had taught me much about nature in botany, chemistry and physics, and also about the larger universe in philosophy and astronomy. But even with all these subjects combined, I still couldn't figure out what this power was exactly.

Or more importantly, why it existed.

Then I thought about the other planets. If Lisa had a link with Venus, then maybe Alex was Mars. Or maybe Duncan was Mars? Neither felt right. I'd have to ask each of them. And what would their powers be like? Was each power bound to the specific properties of that planet?

If the person's power was linked to the properties of the planet, I would imagine Mercury, being the closest to the sun, giving power to its ambassador to melt stuff. Or maybe it didn't work like that at all. Maybe it was more a mental type of power.

And what about the Reds? Maybe they were the gas planets, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune and Pluto? It couldn't be, Pluto was too small, and it wasn't even a planet anymore.

Suddenly astronomy became an amazing subject, my favourite subject of all time. I couldn't wait to get outside again and have a look at everything. Or to see if I could get back that old feeling of being watched.

***

Chapter 9 – Star studded

It was reassuring, looking up every now and then as I walked on campus over the next two days, to see one of the Reds close by. They made me feel both safe and important. It was usually Benjamin and Wilfred, as they did the day shifts. I really enjoyed their company, not that we talked much, but every now and then one of them would pass me and smile or hold a door open for me. It felt like I had two caring older brothers, or at least I thought that was what it would feel like having older brothers.

This feeling of safety worked extremely well with my new attitude of being in control. I felt like my old self again, comfortable in my own skin, in spite of the haunting image of Alex in my head. His condition was still the same, and the doctors hadn't made a diagnosis yet. And the emergency meeting was still in progress, according to my mom's message yesterday.

Lisa too was a little more controlled, but still worried out of her mind. She had spent all her time next to Alex's bed since Monday. I took notes for her wherever I could; it also helped a little with my guilty conscience.

The things that Lisa had told me only made me more assertive. It was true; it was a part of me. I believed it, no matter how unreal it sounded to a sane mind.

As always, Jennifer chose the seat closest to the paying point of the dining hall. It was amusing; she was really thrilled when she first saw Benjamin and Wilfred. She winked and smiled and winked and smiled, pulling out all the stops. I wondered what Benjamin and Wilfred thought about this little eager beaver next to me. It was my chance to surprise her for once, so I kept absolutely quiet, smothering the giggle I felt coming on.

"Hey, Val. We have a _pair_ on the way. Take a look," she said, pointing in their direction and smiling from ear to ear. She noticed my grin and possibly interpreted it as enthusiasm. She watched them like a hawk while they dished up and then paid. Benjamin turned and looked around a bit, and then smiled when he noticed me.

"They're heading this way!" Jennifer whispered in a high-pitched voice, without taking her eyes off them.

The two Reds walked straight to our table and stopped.

"Hi, guys. Do you want to join me and my friend for lunch?" Jennifer wheedled.

"Thank you, that'll be great," Wilfred answered with a slight frown.

"I'm Jennifer and this is Valerie," she introduced with a lilt in her voice.

I slapped my hand over my mouth in an attempt not to laugh out loud. The poor girl thought they reacted to her flirting.

"Hi, Jennifer, I'm Wilfred and this is Benjamin," Wilfred answered with a big smile on his face. He understood the situation immediately, and so did Benjamin.

"Guys, please sit down?" Jennifer invited.

I couldn't get out one single word and she gave me a hard elbow nudge as Wilfred sat down next to her and Benjamin next to me. But Jennifer didn't hold back at all. It wasn't a moment before she moved closer to Wilfred.

I couldn't hold it in any longer and burst out laughing, Wilfred and Benjamin joining in.

"What?" she asked annoyed. "Why are you all laughing?"

"Jennifer, these are my friends."

She blinked slowly before answering. "They're with you?" she asked, peeved.

"Yes, like I said. I met them over the weekend and invited them over for lunch yesterday."

"Okay, cool. But tell me, just friends, or _dating_ friends?" she asked, suddenly her old, happy self again.

_This doggy doesn't leave the bone until it's completely finished_ , I thought.

"Just friends," I quickly answered.

For the rest of the lunch she completely ignored me and put all her focus on Wilfred. With batting eyelashes and a seductive tone, she asked him about his studies and his background. I stopped listening after a while and turned to Benjamin.

"How are Leo and Peter doing? I mean, with the night shift and all?"

"They're fine. We are used to this kind of thing, you know."

"I know, you've told me. But I still feel guilty, everybody changing their lifestyles to protect me."

"Don't see it like that. We were trained for this, we've been waiting for it. And it's not your fault people want to kill you... or kidnap you."

My eyes went wide. I hadn't thought about abduction. That would be worse. Who knows what they would do to me. I'd probably be a lab rat! I shivered and Benjamin noticed.

"What class do you have after lunch?" he flew off at a tangent.

" Philosophy."

"And is it a subject you like?" he asked, interested.

"Not really, although it might be more interesting today. We're having a guest speaker about evolution."

"Sounds interesting."

"You can come with if you want to. It's a full class and no one will notice a stranger."

"No thanks, that's fine. I've had my fair share of classes and lectures. I'd rather just wait outside for you."

By this time, we were all finished and it was almost time for class.

Jennifer offered to clean up after the guys. They left with a promise of meeting for lunch again the next day.

They were barely out of sight when she turned to me. "Thanks, Val. You're a real pal," she said angrily. "Make fun of me; humiliate me in front of Ben and Wil."

I'd already forgotten about the silly episode and was caught a little off guard. "Jennifer, I didn't mean to humiliate you. You took over and didn't give me a chance to introduce them," I twisted the truth a little. And now we are even, I thought. I owed her one for the blind date and the silly outfit she had given me.

"Oh, come on. You know that's not true."

"Look, you can believe me or not. I didn't mean to humiliate you." It came out harshly and I regretted my reaction immediately. I was the guilty party here. She didn't answer me, so I tried again. "I'll make it up to you – I'll buy you dinner tonight?"

"No." And then grudgingly, "I'll think about it."

I decided not to tell her about the other two as it would only get her more worked up. I felt impatient with her persistent stubbornness. I'd already apologised for something minutely small.

"I need to go to class now, see you later, okay?"

"Fine," and she walked away, leaving all the dishes on the table.

I sighed and collected the trays. The class was about to start in two minutes and I hurried out. Benjamin spotted me immediately from the bench underneath a big oak and trailed along a few feet distant.

By the time I reached the class, the professor was already busy, a funny looking round little man, not like the other professors. He didn't look up at all, just continued as if no one was in the room. I didn't want to interrupt him, so I didn't apologise. He was one of those lecturers that ignored the entire universe around him and continued with his lecture no matter what.

Usually students responded to such an attitude by not paying any attention at all. Fair enough, the topic wasn't the most interesting in the world. But it was a compulsory subject.

The room was very full, and I had to settle for a chair in the third row. I paged to the next open page in my notebook and started writing down the stuff on the board. It was all history and definitions, mind-numbing stuff. The rhythmic drone of his voice made me sleepy and my mind wandered. It drifted back to the incident with Jennifer.

Suddenly something happened in front. I heard a thumping sound and then the class exploded with laughter.

"What happened?" I whispered to the girl in the row behind me.

"His foot got stuck on something and he fell down, probably because he couldn't see over his big round waist," she laughed.

It was kind-of funny, but I felt rather sorry for the Professor. He got up with a bit of an effort and went on as if nothing had happened. He didn't even wait for the class to settle down; he simply picked up from where he'd stopped.

Every now and then, I looked at my watch. It felt as if time was standing still. I hated classes like this; it was such a frustration and waste of time. I picked up my pen and started writing again. _There was a new cure for insomnia_ , I thought: _this little professor's voice, combined with the hum of voices around me._

The period was almost finished when I dozed off a little. Then, somewhere in the midst of a semi-sleeping trance, a phrase caught my ears. I sat up and started listening again. He had said something about the sun being alive.

My heart pounded and my ears swooshed. I didn't like asking questions in class, especially not a full philosophy class, but I had to make sure that I had heard correctly.

"But, Professor, do you really believe it is possible for the sun, a star, to be alive?" I had to speak up above the buzz of voices from where I sat in the third row. No one was listening. They thought the Professor was just a big fat joke. And his overweight, wobbly appearance made him even more ridiculous, not to mention his bald Bozo-the-clown hairstyle.

He stopped writing on the board and turned towards the class.

"Who asked that question?" The noise level died down a bit. He had never spoken to anyone directly before.

I raised my hand slightly but enough for him to see me. He frowned before answering.

"It is not a question of whether it is alive. It is a question of form."

The noise level from disinterested students climbed even higher than before.

I nodded and stuck my shaking hands deep into my pockets. I wanted to ask more, but the time was up and I didn't want to attract any more attention to myself; I'd rather ask him afterwards.

Some of the students had stood up already, without giving him a chance to finish.

"Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen. Next week Professor Greenwald will be back," he said and walked out.

I tried my best to squeeze quickly past the huddle of people, but by the time I had reached the door, he was gone.

I grabbed the closest student, a tall geekish guy, by the arm. "What was his surname?"

"Whose surname?" he asked, frowning down at me.

"The Professor who gave the lecture just now." Who else, I thought.

"Can't remember, I think he said it was Rosenbaum."

"Thanks."

Outside, I looked around for Benjamin.

With the Professor's answer fresh in my mind, I suddenly remembered that Peter had said that they were the four closest red dwarfs. Was it possibly the closest red dwarf _stars_? When Lisa had explained it all to me, I had the impression that these 'links' were with planets. Now the stars were also a possibility.

Wow! How cool was that? Stars have such immeasurable amounts of energy and mass; they would have to be super strong people. Suddenly the Reds seemed even more impressive to me, although technically red dwarf stars are smaller and colder than regular white stars. Suddenly there was a new dimension to this secret world: stars. Stars! Who would ever believe this? Stars amongst us!

The hair on my arms stood up. Maybe this was why my memories of being out there in the wild at night felt so strong and alive, as if I had been watched. Someone _had_ been watching over me. Or rather the stars had, not only the planets! Stars, with such massive energy that they _fuse_.

Surely Lisa made a mistake when she had said that I was the most powerful human on earth? She clearly didn't know about this.

It also meant that someone had a connection with the sun as well. Could it be Duncan? Some of the recent events lined up in my mind and I tried to put two and two together. The sunspots, the mobile interference, the eight minutes Duncan had mentioned. No, it wasn't Duncan. Duncan was afraid of the sun; that I was sure about. I clearly remembered the fear on his face and then his words:

" _Oh no! He is... here! Has it... been... eight minutes... already?"_

Whoever had a connection with the sun, he or she was on the other side, my personal enemy. He or she was the villain, the one behind all of this. It felt scary, the thought of someone as strong as the sun on the other side. Who knew what this person would be capable of, with such power in their possession?

I thought about the sun, all the facts that I had learned, and one thing stood out: the sun's gravity is so strong that it holds all the planets in the solar system in orbit. It literally holds it all together. This person was incredibly powerful.

I stopped in my tracks and looked up at the sun. It felt wrong, the thought of the sun being anything but good. I had always associated the sun with good and warmth and life. Life on earth exists because of the sun; how could it be bad?

But I trusted Duncan. How did he fit into all of this? My guess was that he had a link with Mars.

I was almost at the dorm, when Benjamin came running towards me.

"Hey Benjamin, what's going on?"

"Hi, Val. Something terrible has happened," he gasped, out of breath.

"What, Ben, what?"

"It's Alex. He's gone."

"What do you mean gone? How can he be gone? He's in a coma! It isn't possible for him to stand up and walk out, you know! Unless someone kidnapped him. Oh. Oh no! Someone kidnapped Alex? Is that what's happened?"

He nodded. "They're getting serious, I'll tell you that. Someone wants you, and they are willing to stop at nothing."

My throat closed up with fright. "But, but... how is that possible? What about Lisa? Is she okay? Wasn't she with him?"

"Lisa is here now, in her room, but in a state. She said that she had gone to the hospital's little coffee shop to get something to drink and when she returned, he was gone."

My eyes widened. They could have captured her as well.

"Don't panic, Valerie, me and Wilfred will stay here: we won't leave you. You remain our first priority," he assured me.

"When did all of this happen?"

"About an hour or so back. Lisa immediately phoned Peter and we all rushed there. We looked and sensed all over the place, but he was gone."

"Poor Lisa." If I knew Lisa, she blamed herself for this.

"Yep, poor girl's in a state. But listen, it's not safe to phone. The conversation between Lisa and Peter was definitely overheard."

"Do you think my phone is bugged...as well?" I asked. It felt more and more like a conversation from some or other high-tech spy movie.

"Possibly. But listen now, please, just take care of yourself. I'll be around, watching closely," his green eyes were begging. He hesitated. "Don't go anywhere strange, keep close to the dorm at all times. Promise me?" he insisted.

Why wouldn't I? I thought.

"Promise."

***

Chapter 10 – Into the lion's den

Jennifer was off during dinner: I could tell because she was quiet as a mouse, which also made the atmosphere tense and the food tasteless.

"So, next week is test week. How is your roster looking?" I asked in an attempt to divert my thoughts and to draw Jennifer into a conversation.

"Fine thanks." She frowned and continued eating.

I ignored her abruptness. "Well, mine is terrible. I have two on Tuesday and three on Thursday. Can you believe it! Why they couldn't space it better, no one will know."

Jennifer didn't seem to be listening. I took a bite and then tried again.

"How are your classes going, Jen?"

She answered the same as before. "Just fine, thanks".

I didn't appreciate her rudeness and decided not to tolerate it. She wouldn't see the sun shining on anyone but herself. So I decided to confront her head-on. "What's going on, Jennifer?"

"Nothing," she replied quickly.

"It's not nothing. I know you too well. What's the matter, tell me now!" I demanded.

My stronger approach had the right effect and she stopped eating and looked down at her hands. "I feel like such a failure. I can't even keep a date, and you're running around with _two_ stunning guys!"

"I told you, they are only friends. Friends, Jennifer. It's a concept that you don't understand. A girl and a boy can be friends, you know."

"Yeah, that's what Duncan told me over the phone as well," she said bitterly.

I had forgotten about Duncan and then remembered that I still wanted to phone him.

"Did Duncan dump you?"

"Yes, Val. What else? That's what 'friends' mean, you know?" she mocked me.

Her reaction wasn't an overreaction so much any more. "But why, what happened?"

"He didn't dump me in so many words, but when I phoned him, a girl answered. She said he didn't want to talk to me and that he'd rather be my friend. Then she asked me to leave him alone for her sake as our 'friendship' would only interfere with their relationship."

"Oh, I'm sorry about him, Jennifer. But don't you mind him, there are more where he came from. Don't worry about it, be patient, you'll find Mr Jennifer soon enough."

"Don't patronise me! You're not the expert!"

I counted to ten and then continued; the poor girl had been dumped and it couldn't be nice, especially not with the size of her ego and image-awareness.

"You are on campus, Jen! There are guys all over the place, swarming like bees. And if you really want, I can set you up on a date with Wilfred? You seemed to like him? He's a nice guy."

"Yeah, he is so nice that he disappeared. I invited him to have dinner with me and you tonight, and he simply didn't show," she said with a cracking voice and closed eyes, as if trying to hold back tears.

I knew what'd happened. Wilfred had gone to sleep as he had to do the night shift. In the fumble with Alex's disappearance, he'd forgotten about Jennifer. Her bad mood made even more sense to me now, but I couldn't tell her the truth.

"He's not like that. I'm sure that there's a very good explanation for all of this," I tried to calm her.

"Like what, Val? He forgot about me, end of story. And you said that you met him over the weekend. There's no way that you can know him that well by now," she growled. Her voice was climbing and the senior tables were staring at us.

"I really don't think he stood you up on purpose. But you can think whatever you want." I gave up. There was no convincing her.

She threw down her knife and fork, jumped up and walked away from me.

I finished my dinner under a stare of eyes. Then I collected the take-away for Lisa before going upstairs. Jennifer's mood was tiring and I put her out of my mind. I'd spend my energy on Lisa instead; she was in real need of support.

But I hesitated in front of her door. I decided to phone Duncan first, there and then. I pressed the green button with firm hands. It rang a few times and then someone picked up.

"Bridget, hello."

Bridget? Had I heard correctly? It wasn't possible. Then that familiar voice came again, the annoying, happy voice. It was a voice that I would never forget.

"Hello?"

I immediately pressed the red button. Bridget had Duncan prisoner.

Not him too! As if it wasn't enough that Alex had disappeared. Unless their disappearances had something in common. Or someone in common. Bridget? Bridget! Now there was a girl that I had totally underestimated. So _she_ was the one behind it all. She had Alex and Duncan captured.

I phoned again, but it just rang and rang.

I had to find Benjamin, and tell him that Bridget was behind all of this. The Reds had to rescue them, Alex and Duncan.

But I had to warn Lisa first. I burst in through Lisa's door without knocking; it was an emergency after all. My entrance startled her awake.

"Noooo! Leave me alone! Please, please, please! Leave me alone," she screamed hysterically, crawling into a bundle and covering her head with her arms.

I realised the poor girl was still in shock from the kidnapping. "Lisa! It's only me Lisa, it's Valerie."

She slowly removed her arms and peeked through closed eyes at me.

"Oh, I'm so.... glad it's you." Her voice broke up and she started to cry. I bent over to hug her, holding her until her sobs calmed down.

"These kidnappings have me so nervous," she explained. "I just fell asleep for the first time in days, and it was the one nightmare after the other." Her eyes were as red as rubies, red and swollen.

"Oh, I'm sorry Lisa, really sorry to wake you. But I need to tell you something."

" Uhhhh. I'm awake now. Go ahead then, as long as it isn't any more bad news. I won't be able to handle it right now," she said, on the edge of another break-down.

"I have reason to believe..." I couldn't get the word out. Then I tried again. "I'm sorry I have to tell you this. But... uh... it's Duncan."

"Duncan? Duncan who?"

"Duncan, as in... isn't he Mars?" I asked, confused.

"No."

"Is Alex then Mars?"

"No," she smiled. "Alex is the sun. Didn't I tell you this?"

The blood froze in my veins. Alex the sun?

I swallowed. Alex was the enemy. Alex was my personal enemy. I couldn't believe it!

Alex, who had been so kind and warned me about the parking the very first day that I arrived. It made sense then that he had taken me to hospital and given me over to Bridget's motherly care. Bridget was working for the lot of them. Then he'd pretended to care about me so much that he'd dropped everything and came looking for me, ill as a dog, and listened to my entire story like... like a friend would. All the while he was nothing more than ...than an _astronomical_ fraud!

And that meant so was Lisa. And the Reds. And they have poor Duncan captured! This sly lot were good: they had managed to deceive not only me, but my parents as well. They had me convinced, really convinced.

And to think I'd almost spilled the beans in front of Lisa just now. Luckily I'd discovered the truth in time, before they did something to Duncan. And wasn't that a clever trick, I thought, deceiving me into thinking they were my friends and protectors. Classic, textbook deception. The Reds had even let me phone my dad the day that they had found me in the veldt. I had walked around campus with a sense of safety, with the Reds following me, meanwhile they had been spying on me. They had me captured, in a free sense.

Duncan didn't stand a chance against the lot of them; they were a team of stars and red dwarfs. And they had been trained. And Duncan was probably just a regular human or a weak planet.

I would probably get over the deception of the Reds over time, I hadn't known them for long enough, except for maybe Benjamin. But I was really hurt by Lisa. And really, really hurt by Alex. How could he? How on earth could he?

A war between anger and sadness brewed in me. I wanted to scream and cry at the same time. I wanted to know how they could do this to me and keep up the pretences so perfectly. But I had to keep it together, for Duncan's sake.

"Valerie? You there? Hello?" Lisa asked. "I told you about Alex, didn't I?"

I had to keep up the pretence in front of her as well. Luckily I still had her take-away in my hand. It gave me something sane to say.

"Oh, yeah. I remember now. But here, I brought you dinner. Excuse me please, I have stacks of studying to do. There's a big botany test coming up. By the way, I made you copies of my notes. I'll bring them over if you want?" I tried to hide the emotion I felt behind normal stuff.

"Don't worry about it now. I'll get them from you later. I'm going to try to sleep again. The Reds promised to keep in contact. They'll let me know immediately if they find out anything."

"Okay, see you later then," I added for the sake of appearances.

"Wait, what did you want to tell me about this Duncan?" she asked.

"Uhh. It's not important now, you don't know him. Don't worry about it. Sorry I woke you." I didn't wait for her answer and rushed out.

As soon as I was outside, I flew across to Jennifer. Ronald probably knew where Duncan was, and Jennifer would know how to contact Ronald. If I could get to Ronald, I would be going in the right direction. I knocked on Jennifer's door and tried to enter, but it was locked.

"Go away," she yelled.

_Out of all the times to throw a tantrum_ , I thought.

"Jennifer, it's me, Valerie. Please open the door?"

I didn't want to sound too urgent as Lisa's door was just down the hallway.

"I don't want to see you," she replied.

"Jennifer, please. I need to talk to you about something. Please open the door," I begged.

"No!"

"Jennifer, open this door. If you are my friend and still want to be my friend after today, open this door. Right now," I threatened. I was desperate and in a hurry.

There was silence for a moment, then I heard the click of the lock and the door opened.

"It better not be about boys," she warned. She had also been crying, her eyes were still wet.

"What are you mad at me for? I didn't do anything to you! Or are you jealous?" I asked her straight-out.

"Out!" she screamed.

"Oh, calm down, would you? I'll go. But please help me out first. It's a matter of life or death," I pleaded, friendlier towards the end. I had to concentrate to stay calm.

"What do you want?" she asked.

I couldn't tell her that I thought Duncan was in danger, because she wouldn't help me. So I made a little thingy up.

"I want Ronald's number. Do you have it?" I asked, pretending to be hopeful.

"A matter of life or death?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

"Okay, not life or death, but your friend's heart?" I played her in her own language.

"I'll take a look, I think I still have it," she said, and pressed a few buttons on her phone.

She gave me the number and then sat down on her desk. "I'm not mad at you, Val. A little jealous, yes, but not mad. I just need to be left alone. I guess I'm sulking a little."

I grabbed her hand. "Jennifer, look at me." I waited for her to look me in the eyes before I continued. "You'll be fine."

"I guess so," she said lackadaisically.

"Now, I really don't mean to leave you alone to sulk all by yourself, but I need to make a call." I threw her a sheepish grin. "And I have a heap of studying to do."

"It's fine. Thanks for popping in. I know you didn't really want Ronald's number, you only came to check on me. I appreciate that."

"True," I lied. "But I might really phone him up, if I find the courage."

Then she did something completely out of character. She bent forward and hugged me. "Thanks," she said in a cracked voice.

"Anything for a friend." I meant it. She was a good friend, in her own unique way. A little self-absorbed sometimes, but a true friend at least. My only true friend, I thought sadly. Lisa and Alex were just sly, sly deceivers.

"Oh, tell me something else," I said, almost at the door already. "What dorm is Ronald in?"

She answered with a smile. "You little rascal, you do like him, don't you?"

I grinned at her. She had no idea. She took my grin as an affirmative, and then she explained where his dorm was.

I hurried to get my car keys. On my way down the stairs, I dialled Ronald's number, but he didn't answer and it went over to the answering machine.

I was almost at the bottom, when I remembered that Benjamin was probably in front of the dorm again. And he was probably watching the parking lot as well. With my heart in my shoes, I turned and went back up again. I'd have to take the emergency stairs.

_Oh, great_ , I thought. Me and those stairs in the dark again, and this time it wasn't even to hide from seniors.

I felt so hurt. I liked Benjamin a lot. And Lisa. And even Alex, sometimes more than I wanted to. And they had betrayed me, deceived me. But I should have known better, after all, Duncan had warned me in the beginning not to trust anybody.

I sneaked past Lisa and Jennifer's doors and softly opened the emergency door.

After a hard swallow, I collected my nerves. I had to do it for Duncan; he would have done it for me, no doubt.

Clinging to the railing as best as I could, I slowly approached the first step. It was the third time using the emergency stairs, but it wasn't any less scary. The first four steps were okay, but then it happened. Step number five gave way under me. Luckily I didn't fall to the ground, the railing held. But my left leg was cut deeply by the rusted metal plate, I felt the blood flowing quickly. A burning sensation came from my shin and knee.

I had to continue, Duncan was in danger, so I pressed on. Shaking with pain, I slowly climbed down the stairs, clinging more tightly than ever to the railing. At the bottom I sat down, ripped off a piece of my jeans and wrapped it as securely as possible around my leg.

I was stuck. I wouldn't make it to Ronald's dorm on foot, not with this blood loss. The dizziness was already setting in. So I tried the phone again. This time he answered.

"Ronald, hello?"

"Hi Ronald, this is Valerie. Sorry to bother you. But I really need your help!"

"Why me?" came the antagonistic answer.

"Ronald, I'm hurt and I think Duncan is in serious danger. There's no one else that I can ask. Please?" I begged.

He was silent for a moment.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked.

"Come and get me, please?" I asked with all the persuasion that I could manage through the pain.

"Fine," he answered. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the dorm, but you can't use the main parking lot. You have to pick me up closer to campus. I'll push on, look out for me. I'm wearing jeans and a pink t-shirt."

"Okay, I'm on my way."

I sighed with relief. Help was on the way. True help. I was worried about my parents as well, but they weren't in immediate danger. And the lines weren't safe, so I couldn't let them know what I had learned. I had to help Duncan first.

Ronald came quickly in his little car.

"How did you manage to get so far?" he asked, shocked by the amount of blood on my leg.

"I had to. I'm so worried about Duncan. Do you know where he lives?" I asked, trying my best to ignore the pain.

"I think so. Do you want me to take you to him or do you want me to take you to hospital first?" he asked, looking at the increasing pool of blood.

"No, don't worry about me. Let's go to Duncan's first. But we need to hurry, please. He's in grave danger."

Ronald opened the door for me and then helped me into the passenger's seat.

"Sit back, or no, rather not: put pressure on that wound, it's not looking good at all. His flat is about ten minutes away."

"Thank you, Ronald, thank you so much, for helping me. And... and I'm sorry about the date." It felt great to be sitting down and off the leg.

"Forget about it. It's history," he answered and took off.

We weren't far away, when he glanced up at the rear-view mirror and then accelerated.

"Something the matter?" I asked, the world all a bit blurry. He didn't answer and I turned my head to look out the back window. I gulped. A black Merc was close behind us, or so it seemed through the blur.

"Oh no! They found me!" I gasped, fear choking the air out of my lungs. "Go, Ronald, go!" I yelled. "As fast as you can, they're going to kill us both!" My words felt slow, but they were there.

He seemed totally convinced as he pushed the little car to its limit. The engine revved wildly and the speedometer needle was close to the maximum. Ronald geared up and down, literally flying across traffic lights and zigzagging to get around cars. I was thrown left and right. It felt as if we were about to lift off, but it occurred to me that he was a very competent driver.

But the Merc stayed close behind.

On top of the blurring, my eyes were burning, probably because of all the blood I had lost. I barely managed to make out the writing on the boards around us. We were headed for the highway and going so fast that I didn't actually want to see, so I turned round in my seat. It also helped to keep an eye on the black Merc.

"Who are these guys?" he asked. "And what do they want with you?"

I didn't know how involved Ronald was, so I lied.

"Don't know," I answered without moving my eyes one inch off the Merc behind us; he was getting dangerously close.

"Then how do you know that they want to kill you?"

I didn't want Ronald to discover how bad my condition was, so I tried my best to keep my words light and my speech together. "Long story. It's a 'if I tell you, I'll have to kill you' kind-of thing."

"I'm involved already, Valerie. Haven't you noticed? We're chasing down the highway, almost at the speed of light. I'm already risking my life here. So I think you can tell me."

I wasn't sure if I could trust Ronald. I'd never had a very warm feeling about him. But okay, he was rescuing me, and as he said, he was risking his life for me.

Then, through the blur, I noticed the black Merc getting closer. Ronald was a good driver, but so was Benjamin. Or I thought it was Benjamin behind the wheel. It was difficult to tell through the darkened windows and the streetlights didn't really help.

"He's getting closer. Hurry, Ronald, hurry!" I screamed, but my reaction was too late.

The black Merc closed in on us and nudged the back bumper. Ronald almost lost control, but regained it after a close shave with a yellow Volkswagen Beetle.

"Let's just say that Duncan gave me something, and these guys want it. And they would kill for it."

"You girls and your secrecy. It's so frustrating, you know. Duncan's girlfriend is exactly the same."

"His girlfriend?" I asked.

"Yeah, he dumped Jennifer. Now he's back with his old girlfriend."

I wanted to ask who his girlfriend was, but the Merc was closing in on us again.

"He's getting close again, Ronald. He's going to bump us again!" I yelled.

The black Merc did bump us again, and this time it was worse. Everything happened in slow motion, like in the movies. I saw the nudge on the back bumper, then the gentle sway of the tail of the car. The Merc's nose lost contact for a moment and then hit us again just as our car swayed to the other side.

I didn't see what happened in front, but I felt the impact. Then I saw the black Merc crashing into us. It _was_ Benjamin driving.

***

Chapter 11 - Spurn

I awoke to the same loud, irritating, repetitive beep. But it was different from before.

My head was fine this time. But my leg ached, only a little less than last night. And something cold and hard pressed against my ankles.

A little clock radio was beeping on a bed pedestal next to me. According to the clock it was 15:23. Then I looked up, into Duncan's eyes. He was standing close to me, with a smile on his face.

"Oh, Duncan! I'm so glad to see you! To see that you are safe."

He reached over to silence the beep.

"Hi, Valerie. Sorry about that. I'll bring you something for the pain just now. But tell me, why wouldn't I be safe?" he asked, surprised.

"I thought you were being held hostage." Didn't I feel like the fool?

"By whom?"

"Well, I thought Bridget had you."

"I don't know a Bridget."

"Oh." I looked around. I wasn't in hospital. It was an apartment, a fancy one. The room looked like a girl's. The closet door was open and showed all types of clothes, fancy clothes, rows and rows of them. And the curtains and bed linen were very girly, with different shades of pink and purple and white and frills everywhere. Not my choice, I thought.

"Is this your apartment?" _Had his new girlfriend moved in already?_

"Yes."

"But how did I get here? The last thing that I can remember is the accident, Benjamin crashing into Ronald's mini. How are they?"

"Ronald is very seriously injured and was taken to hospital. Benjamin died at the scene of the accident."

Benjamin had died?

_No_!

I was shocked. It was probably my fault. Nausea boiled up into my throat. Benjamin was a traitor, but I didn't want him dead or anything. And poor Ronald.

"Oh no."

Tears hazed the room around me. Not dead. Not Benjamin.

Duncan sat down on a chair next to me and waited patiently for me to calm down.

Then I thought of something else. "How did you know about the accident?" I asked through the tears.

"Uhh..." he hesitated. "Ronald phoned me, just before he picked you up. He told me that you were hurt and that you wanted to see me. Then he phoned me again, right before the accident. I actually heard it happening over the phone."

"Oh." I didn't remember Ronald making any phone calls in the car before the accident. But I had been in a haze back there. And why Ronald didn't tell me that he had talked to Duncan didn't make sense either. Something was fishy; my gut told me that Duncan was lying. Then, the moment that the thought occurred, the gut feeling disappeared again.

Duncan was in front of me now, and it was finally my chance to talk to him, to ask him what had happened to me and to find out if Lisa had told the truth. I suddenly felt completely calm, so I decided to use the opportunity. "There's so much has happened since I saw you that first day. There were so many times that I wished to see you and talk to you."

"I'm here now. So tell me," he said, "tell me everything. I'll listen," he encouraged.

I told him about waking up in hospital, about jumping from the window and the healing powers of the earth. I told him about the party and the stuff I saw out the window, about how glad I was to see him on the date. Then about running in the veldt and the Reds. About what Lisa had told me, and finally, how I had figured out that they were all the bad guys.

I felt terrible, talking to Duncan. The further I got into my story, the stronger my gut feeling became: in spite of the strong connection that I felt with him, I felt like a traitor when I had told him everything. The feeling was so strong that I found myself wanting to cry all over again. I gulped a few times to get the lump down my throat.

I had told my story, but I felt as if I had just betrayed myself.

"Wow, you've been through a lot," he said, smiling at me. "I think you need some more rest. I'll get you something to help you sleep."

"No, I don't like sleeping pills, thanks." _Didn't I tell him about that? I was sure that I had._

"Does your leg hurt?"

"It is throbbing, yes. But I'll be fine."

There was movement elsewhere in the apartment. Then the door opened and Bridget walked into the room. She had the same smirk on her face as before.

"Valerie, meet my girlfriend. Or no, you have met before, I believe? This is Angela."

"Angela? I thought... wow, did I think wrong! I thought you drugged me in hospital and tried to hold me captive! And here you are, Duncan's girlfriend. To think that I jumped from the window for nothing. Silly me," I gabbled.

She took Duncan's hand, looking into his eyes. "Please, let me tell her?"

He grinned slightly and then nodded.

"You stupid, stupid girl," she said flatly.

I had just told her how stupid I was, why did she have to emphasize it so much?

"You looked slow, but really. You are so naive that you can't even smell the coffee right under your nose," Angela snarled, amused at my startled face.

"On second thoughts, leave her. Let her figure it out by herself," Duncan said. They both laughed, left the room and I heard them lock the door behind them.

I stared at the clock and watched the minutes and the hours pass by. I tried my best to think of nothing, as I couldn't face the truth yet. It was right there in front of me, but too horrific for me to believe or to process yet.

Duncan came back about three hours later. The sun had set already, I thought, but I couldn't be sure as it was raining outside. He placed a tray on the bed pedestal next to me. It smelled good but I wasn't hungry. He closed the curtains and left the room immediately without looking at me again. I so badly wanted to ask what he wanted from me, but I was still in shock.

I hated myself.

I was my own worst enemy. And my friends' worst enemy too, my real friends.

Another hour dragged past and Bridget or rather Angela, opened the door. She had a gun in her hand and pointed it at me as she walked closer.

This girl seemed capable of murder, and I was terrified. My heart raced and my palms were sweating. _This is it_ , I thought. _This is the end of you, Valerie_. I closed my eyes and waited.

But she didn't pull the trigger. Instead, she roughly yanked me out of bed with the gun held to my head.

"Don't try anything. I swear I will shoot you and leave you here to die, you hear me?" she threatened.

I nodded, relieved to be alive.

She took me to the loo. Survival mode kicked in and I took in as much as possible of everything that I saw around me, but there wasn't much to see. The hallway was extremely short and all the doors were closed. The loo was the first door to the left; there was one other door to the right and one straight ahead.

She pushed me through the door and waited in the entrance for me, turned sideways.

It was a small bathroom, with only a shower, a toilet and a single basin. There weren't any windows, only an extraction fan. At least it was clean and I appreciated the visit; it was high time.

It took a while to calm down and for the feeling of the gun against my head to go away after she had left. But then I thought about Benjamin again, and Alex. Maybe it was a good thing that I had been captured and possibly on my way to the butcher. At least everybody else would be safe from now on.

Benjamin had died because of me, because I had broken my promise to him and betrayed him. And to think that he still came after me to protect me. He had risked his life for me. And he had lost it because of me.

And Alex. Duncan probably had Alex imprisoned somewhere and was most likely going to kill him. After all, Alex's connection was with the sun. A part of me felt incredibly impressed, about Alex and the sun. It felt right, it fitted him perfectly. He was that kind of person. To me, the sun meant warmth and life and power and steadiness, and that was Alex. That absolutely was Alex! I was proud at the thought of Alex being the sun.

A spark of hope ignited in my insides. Maybe Alex was strong enough, with the sun's power at his service, to win Duncan over. Or just to get away. But then I remembered that Alex was in a coma. He wouldn't be able to defend himself. I didn't want Alex to die. And I didn't want Benajmin to have died.

Alex had been so kind to me, so patient. He obviously knew exactly what was going on with me, how I struggled. I thought about our first meeting, how he tried to warn me against the parking, a complete stranger warning a first year. And how he had unloaded my car. Then I thought about the party, about him being so popular. And how he'd played the guitar so well that he had the room under a spell. He was such an unbelievable person, so talented and intelligent and popular and beautiful and... and... and everything that I had ever wanted in a guy. He truly was the essence of the sun.

If only I could hear him speak once more, to see if he was fine. Or see him play that guitar again.

It struck me that Alex mattered to me. A lot. I let the thought float a little in my mind, like a soap bubble in the bath.

I liked Alex.

There, it was out, I had finally admitted it to myself. I liked Alex a lot, too much actually. I was in too far.

So I firmly put the thought out of my mind. I had vowed more than once to leave Alex alone. And even if by some miracle things happened to go back to normal, I wouldn't go near him. No, I had already betrayed Lisa once, I would never do it again.

But even that miracle was impossible. Alex was going to die as well, if Duncan hadn't managed to kill him already.

The thought was too much for me; it felt as if the sorrow was too big for my body. I cried as if the world was ending. How I hated myself. I couldn't believe what I had done to everyone. The worst part was the remorse. I literally spent hours and hours hating myself for what I had done; crying didn't help at all.

After a while the tears dried up.

I deserved to die. I didn't care about Angela and her gun any more. I wouldn't be scared next time she came.

I fell asleep for the first time around four in the morning.

It became the pattern: Duncan came in once a day with a tray of food and a glass of water. Angela came in three times a day and took me to the loo at gunpoint. By the end of the third day, there wasn't any emotion left, only an infinitely big nothingness.

On the morning of the fourth day, I felt much worse than before, physically and emotionally. The pain in my leg was killing me and my ankles were throbbing from the restraints they had put on me: my sugar was obviously low and my hands were trembling. And I had a headache, probably because I was dehydrated.

Duncan came in during the late morning, around ten. I was hopeful for an extra glass of water when he entered. But as always, he ignored me completely when I spoke to him, simply pulling the sheet from me and closely examining my skin, then leaving the room again.

I knew his appearance meant trouble. He was examining my glow and was busy with something devious. I knew that I should be scared, but that took energy.

Ten minutes later he returned. This time there was a stranger with him, a slightly overweight man.

"See, it's not fading yet, it's been three days already. And she lost a lot of blood," Duncan told the stranger.

There was a long pause before the stranger answered. "Then we need to try something else."

"Yes, we could. Or else we could risk it, but I felt it before. It's strong. We'd have to share it," Duncan said.

"No, not yet. Let's give it another day." Then they both left the room.

Duncan returned a while later. He had a glass of water in his one hand and something else in the other. "I don't want to hurt you. Drink this," and he held a blue tablet towards me. It looked like the one Angela gave me in hospital.

"What is it?" I asked, a little unnerved.

"I'm not going to say it again. Drink this," he threatened.

I didn't want to test him, so I took the pill and threw it in my mouth. I pretended to swallow and held it under my tongue. But I underestimated him, Duncan wasn't Angela.

"Show me," he said.

I was cornered. I tried to swallow the stupid thing dry, but it got stuck in my throat and I was overcome by a spasm of coughing. The blue pill flew out of my mouth and dropped right next to his foot.

He looked at me, walked closer and punched me in the face, hard. So hard that everything went black around me.

A painful prick in my right shoulder woke me up. When I opened my eyes, Angela was injecting me with something. I wasn't in bed any more; I was tied to a chair: my feet around the chair's legs and my arms to a table, in the same room as before.

"What are you doing to me?" I asked.

I felt incredibly weak, my mouth was numb and I could barely speak. And I had a new pain for the list: my eye and my cheek.

She ignored me and left the room. I tried to get more comfortable in the chair, the bed seemed like heaven to me now.

The room blurred and everything went black again.

I felt a slap on my left cheek, and I tried to open my eyes. I had never felt so weak and tired in my entire life.

"Wake up, wake up, Sweety. It's time!"

It was Duncan's voice.

It took a lot of effort to open my eyes. I was still tied to the chair, but my hands were fixed in a strange looking metallic box, cut open in front so that my palms stuck out, facing forward.

Duncan wasn't alone; the same guy as before was with him. "Hello there," he greeted me sarcastically. "Did you sleep well?"

I couldn't get anything out, I was too weak.

"Valerie, this is my friend, Gavin. He's here to assist with a little... uh....procedure. Say hi to the nice guy."

"She's definitely ready," Gavin said when I couldn't respond.

"Yeah, told you so."

Even with my low energy level, I was terrified. They were about to either torture me or do something terrible. I closed my eyes and prayed. I prayed as hard as I could. I wanted to live. I wanted to see Alex again, even if he was Lisa's.

Duncan slapped me across the face. "No sleeping! You need to stay awake for this," he said in a happy, sing-song voice, like an overjoyed lunatic. I was really, really scared.

"Let's do this now. Before Angela wakes up," Duncan told Gavin.

They both went down to their knees, facing each other. "Ready?" Gavin asked. Duncan nodded.

Gavin stuck out his hand to Duncan and then Duncan did the same, without touching Gavin's hand. But they did it differently. Instead of palms facing, they held the backs of their hands towards each other.

They both went white around the mouth and closed their eyes. I saw the pull on their hands, the force pulling on them. I remembered the feeling so well, it was as if it had happened yesterday with me. Then they both started to glow, Gavin red and Duncan as grey as his eyes.

Very slowly, they brought their hands closer and closer together and when they touched, their bodies shook. They opened their eyes and kept their hands against each other.

"Neutralised!" Duncan smiled. "Now for her. You won't believe this."

"Can I go first?" Gavin asked.

"Be my guest," Duncan answered.

I knew what was coming, so I made myself ready. I wanted to resist him, but I had absolutely no energy. Gavin looked into my eyes and stretched out his other hand to me, close to my left palm.

Then the familiar pull came, soft at first. My glow lit up, and the last bit of energy in my body slowly drained away. Gavin's hand got closer and closer and the weight on me grew and grew.

Black spots danced in front of my eyes.

Gavin suddenly paused and turned his head. Then I felt the force from somewhere outside as well, a strong force pulling on me.

"Is it...?" Duncan asked.

"Who else?" Gavin replied.

"How is it possible? I thought we took care of him?" Duncan asked in a panic.

Everything went black in front of me.

_This is really it_ , I thought.

Then I heard Alex's voice, his sweet, sweet voice.

"Not again! He's getting away!" Alex screamed. "Find him!"

It couldn't be Alex. He was in a coma. Or dead.

So I knew it had to be the end of me.

***

Chapter 12 - Gravitated

Someone called my name, faintly, from far away.

Then everything was silent.

"Valerie? Valerie!" It sounded closer this time.

"Hang on, Valerie, just hang on!"

Silence.

The urgent voice came again. "C'mon, stay with me! Please, please, please! Fight, Valerie, fight."

I tried to, I wanted to, but the darkness pressing on me was strong.

"We need to hurry! It's flickering already." It sounded like Alex and I waited anxiously to hear it again. "I have to do it now. Right now!"

"You're still too weak. We have to wait at least another day!" It was someone else.

"No, it's too risky! Stop the car, right now, stop it!"

I couldn't hold on any longer and everything was silent again.

There was a funny sensation in my toes, a warm, bubbling sensation. I tried to identify it; it felt like the hot water from a Jacuzzi, but on the inside of my skin.

It slowly grew into my feet and ankles. Then it reached my shins, but my left shin and knee felt hotter than the right. The bubbles continued upwards, into my stomach and chest and arms, but the heat around my left shin and knee got warmer and warmer.

There were voices around me, but I couldn't make out the words.

By the time that the bubbles had reached my head, I felt more energetic but my leg was burning hot. My face started to burn as well.

Two male voices surrounded me, very close. They were familiar, but I couldn't concentrate; the burning in my leg and my face became unbearable.

"I'm burning! I'm burning up!" I screamed and opened my eyes.

The burning and the bubbling stopped immediately.

Everything was bright around me, bright white; so bright that I squinted. There were two figures; one was holding me and the other stood close by. Both of them were shining brighter than everything else and I could see I was shining as well.

"Great, now I'm all white again!" the one said disgusted. It sounded like Benjamin!

"Aaawh, you'll get over it," the other one answered.

My brain was still a little slow and tried to interpret the scene around me.

"Alex? Benjamin? Is it you?" I asked doubtfully.

"Hey Sleepyhead! You awake now?" Alex asked.

It _was_ Alex. Tears welled up in my eyes and I closed them, unable to get any words out. Alex was alive! My Alex, alive, my heart rejoiced. That was all I wanted, for him to be alive. Even if he hated me forever and a day, at least he was fine.

And Benjamin was alive too! I wanted to hug them and hold them and scream with joy. But I controlled myself just in time. I didn't deserve to live. I had betrayed them both, and they could have died because of my betrayal.

"How is it possible that you are both alive? And Alex, weren't you in a coma? And kidnapped?"

"Yes, it's possible. Yes, I was in a coma. No, I wasn't kidnapped," Alex said and then he turned to Benjamin. "You can put her down now, it's safe again," he said irritated.

"Yes, my great leader. Anything you say, my great leader," Benjamin mocked, but then did as Alex told him. He bent over and put me on the hard rocky ground of the grassy plain. I pulled up my knees and wrapped my arms around them.

Alex's car was standing next to the road and we were about fifteen meters from it into the veldt.

By now, the tears were flowing over my cheeks. Benjamin sat down next to me and put his arms around me, holding me. Mixed feelings were tugging at my heart. I was ecstatic about them being alive. But on the other hand, the shame of betraying them was eating me, swallowing me whole. The feelings were too strong, I felt as if I was going to burst through my skin.

"You're fine now, don't worry. You're safe."

His words only made me cry harder. He was comforting the biggest betrayer of all times, the very person that almost had him killed.

"How... how... can you hold me? I....be....betrayed you? Don't you ......hate me? I almost had you ....killed." I stuttered through my sobs.

"Poor girl. There's so much to tell you," he said, holding me even tighter.

His reaction didn't make sense to me. I took a few deep breaths and calmed down a little. "You shouldn't have rescued me. I'm the biggest betrayer of all times. I betrayed my own.... friends." I couldn't keep it together.

"Valerie, calm down. We need the weather to stay clear, all's not safe yet. Calm down immediately!" Alex ordered sternly.

Now I was only making everything worse, endangering everybody once more. But I couldn't control my emotions. His words upset me all over again.

"You're not helping, Alex," Benjamin scowled. Then he lowered his voice and whispered in my ear. "Valerie, none of this is your fault. It's all Artemis."

"No, Benjamin!" I shook my head and struggled with the words through my overwhelming emotions. "It's not... Artemis. _I_ betrayed you, I did! Me!"

"Listen now, please? Will you just listen for one second?" Alex sounded cross now. "I know Lisa told you about... about us and... and who we are," he stuttered, looking uncomfortable. "Well, Artemis or Duncan is also from this solar system. To be more precise, the moon."

My sobs stopped and my eyes grew wide. Of course! It was so obvious, right in my face.

Benjamin removed his arms from me and stood up.

"Duncan has the power of deception, or manipulation. He has the ability to 'plant' thoughts into your mind, he can even overrule your own thoughts and instincts. He did all of this," Alex continued.

"And his powers are strong! After all, the moon is closest to earth. His link is the strongest apart from yours, even though he's relatively small. If you look up at the sky, the moon and the sun appear to be the same size. Well, that's why solar eclipses are possible, because from earth they are exactly the same in size. But anyway, back to the point. He probably told you that we're all..." he stopped. "Are you following?"

I nodded weakly.

"Just think about it for a moment. He manipulated you into thinking that he had been helping you. Isn't it true?"

Alex was serious now. He bent down to his knees in front of me, so that he could face me.

"He told you not to trust us, didn't he? So it's really not your fault, Valerie."

I wasn't all bad? I wasn't the worst betrayer in the universe? I didn't respond; it was a shock to my system, this sudden change of my self-image.

"Do you believe me now?"

"But why? Did he want to use my power for... for money?"

"No." Alex sighed. "Look around you. It's all about life. Life on earth."

I couldn't believe my ears.

"Life?" I repeated.

"Life is so precious and so rare in this huge universe that it causes extreme emotions. Some would kill for it, others are proud of it."

I chewed his words over for a moment. I could understand that, having seen and experienced it myself. It was true.

"Earth, you... really are one unique little planet out of all the billions of planets. Actually several billions," he said, staring into my eyes. I could feel the emotions starting to well up, his eyes were intense and it seemed that he wanted to say something else... and then his eyes dropped. "Me on the other hand...I am the same as several billion."

I did not like that fact at all. He was special to me, beautiful. The sun! _My sun_ , I thought. In my heart, he would always be my personal sun, literally.

Benjamin felt the tension we were generating, because he abruptly interrupted the silence by clearing his throat. "We need to get going, guys. The area is not safe and who knows what they'll try next."

His words yanked me from my haze.

"Let's get going then," Alex agreed.

I tried to get up but was still weak in the knees and fell back again. They both extended a hand to me to help me up. Without thinking, I took Alex's hand even though Benjamin's was closer. Alex turned round immediately after I was up, walked away and climbed into his car.

The emotions inside me that had been so strong moments ago disappeared, so that I felt like a burst balloon. But the damage was already done. It was definitely going to leave a scar. At least they were both alive, and that made me happy. Alex was alive and with me.

I looked down to my feet. "Hey, wow! My knee doesn't hurt anymore." I removed the torn piece that was wrapped around it and all that was left was a thin, pink scar beneath the white glow. This scar was visible.

"I absolutely looove how the earth heals me! I want to get down and kiss the ground, I'm so happy right now!" I yelled, feeling better already.

"This time it wasn't earth, Val. It was Alex. But you aren't entirely fit yet, he was still very weak himself. So you need to thank him," Benjamin said.

"Alex healed me? I didn't even know that was possible," I mumbled. I wasn't keeping up any more. By now I should have known to expect anything new, no matter how impossible it seemed.

Benjamin opened the back door for me and helped me into the car before climbing in next to Alex.

I waited for Alex to start the car. "Alex, Benjamin, I want to thank you both, for rescuing me. Honestly, thank you from the bottom of my heart." I meant it.

"Off course, that's why I'm here," Benjamin answered.

"Sure," Alex said bluntly.

I still couldn't believe how things had turned out and how lucky I was. I had the two best guardians in the whole wide universe.

"And Alex, thank you for healing me just now."

"Anytime."

I didn't understand why he sounded so curt, but nothing could extinguish my happiness.

"How does it work, by the way? Can I heal you guys as well?"

"I'm not sure how much you know, but maybe I should start from the beginning. But I have to warn you, we don't have all the answers. We're learning as we go, from personal experience and from others," Benjamin explained.

Alex wasn't listening at all, he concentrated on the road. Benjamin turned sideways in his seat to face me.

"It may come as a shock to your belief system, but hear me out. We believe that _everything_ is alive. As in everything: from the smallest little quark to the biggest galaxy out there. I don't want to get too philosophical, but it boils down to this: something alive cannot be born or developed out of something dead. So if we classify ourselves as alive, then everything must be alive; with varying degrees of intelligence, of course."

He looked as if he was gloating as he explained, but I didn't react to his words.

"So basically, we are each here on earth as ambassadors of our host planet or star, manifestations of the conscience or intelligent part. My star is a red dwarf star called Barnard's star, not far away from earth."

"But why are we... or rather you all on earth then? Why not on Mars, for instance?" I asked, absorbed by the logic, trying to make his truth my truth.

"Well, it is such a rarity to be able to host other forms of life, as the earth is capable of. We are here to experience the beauty and magnificence of life on Earth."

_Wow_! No, wow wasn't big and strong enough. Awesome! Or incredible, maybe. No part of my studies had prepared me for any of this. Except maybe that one philosophy lecture on Tuesday. If only that Professor was a fly on the wall. He would have asked how it all worked, I was sure.

"Okay. So how does the connection and power work? If I am the earth's conscience, shouldn't I be able to hear its thoughts?"

"Her thoughts," he quickly corrected.

"Her thoughts." It would take time to really get used to the idea, even though Duncan had told me the same.

"Like I said, we don't know everything, only what we have experienced. But we do know a little about how the connection works. We believe it's a combination of things, but the biggest contributor is obvious: gravity. Gravity keeps everything together. You see, the great thing about gravity is that it doesn't travel at a finite speed like light for instance. Gravity is a property of space and matter itself. So no matter how far you are away from your planet, you have a connection. But the strength of the connection does depend on the distance. So we Reds have a weaker connection than the sun, for instance."

I tried to wrap my head around his words.

"You with me?" He saw that I was frantically thinking about everything, but I didn't want him to stop talking. I was busy hearing the most incredible revelation of all times.

"Yes, the further you are from your planet, the weaker the link. Easy. Go on, go on," I said. "So when the earth 'heals' you, it actually uses some of her gravity, or mass. The energy transforms, and you receive it in the form of... uh... spiritual energy

"It's very important that your link never exceeds its capacity during a transfer of energy. You can imagine what energy could be unleashed by a star connection, but it would exceed the capacity of the link and the human body could not tolerate that.

"In your case, if big amounts get transferred, you run the risk of disturbing the balance. That's why Alex healed you just now, why it wasn't safe to let the earth heal you. Your glow was flickering, like a dying ambassador's."

I was slowly starting to understand what had happened to me just now.

"But why would the earth risk it all to heal me?"

"The earth loves you, Valerie. You are a part of her. She will try to save you even if it kills her."

"Duncan almost managed to get that right," I grumbled. "I still can't believe how easily he fooled me!"

"Yes, well, apart from his power, there are additional aspects that work in his favour. For one, the earth only sees one side of the moon. It's locked in rotation with earth in such a way that earth never sees the other side, the dark side."

I was about to ask what Duncan had planned, but Alex interrupted my train of thought.

"Okay, that's enough for now. You can continue with this later. I think Valerie needs some rest. And I think I need some rest as well. Would you mind driving, Ben?" he asked, still sounding irritated.

I figured that's why Alex had been so reserved – he was just tired.

Benjamin was enjoying our conversation and looked as if Alex had stolen his ice cream out of his hands.

"Sure," he said, obviously peeved.

Alex stopped the car and they switched places. I wanted to know more, but I had to admit that I was extremely tired as well.

"Where are we going, by the way?" I asked as I shifted around for a comfy spot. I had the whole backseat to myself.

"A safe house. It's best for now, 'till we're all properly rested," Alex answered. He switched on the radio and let down his chair.

"What day is it? Isn't it test week already?" I couldn't afford to throw away a year of studying.

"It's Saturday today. We'll go back tomorrow, but we need to recover properly first."

Then I thought about something else.

"You never told me what was wrong with you, Alex. Why were you in hospital?"

"Valerie, please not now. I'll tell you later, promise." His voice sounded droopy already.

I didn't feel like arguing any more. A lot had happened in a relatively short time. I felt overloaded, physically, emotionally and mentally. But I was safe. Benjamin turned up the radio and I recognised Natasha Beddingfield's _Take me away_.

I fell asleep shortly after and didn't wake up until late the following morning.

***

Chapter 13 – Paparazzi

The smell of fried onions filled the air and I was compelled to obey when my empty stomach ordered me out of bed. With a frown, I wondered how I had gotten into bed? The last thing that I could recall was the safety belt clasp of the backseat in Alex's car pressing into my back as I fell asleep.

I was still in the same clothes, I smelled like a dead rat and I knew that I probably looked like a hobo. Whoever had helped me into bed must have smelled me. It was bad enough that Alex and Benjamin saw me like this, never mind carrying me with this stench around. Oh, the shame!

The small mirror on the dressing table confirmed that it was as bad as I had thought. I moved closer to examine my face. There was no evidence at all of Duncan's slap or punch. With a shaky hand, I stroked over my jaw line, my nose and my cheeks. It didn't even hurt a little. I pressed harder, to make sure, but there was no pain at all.

My healed face was nothing more than a miracle. Under normal circumstances, the swelling would have stayed for another day or so, not to mention the visible bruises. And now it was completely healed. The only evidence of the events of the past few days was my glow, which was white instead of the normal blue. I felt thankful again, for how lucky I was.

Then I shivered. It was a scary thought, being a part of all of this... this weirdness. And I couldn't deny it, not even to lull myself. No, the proof was staring me right in the face. And the knee, I suddenly remembered. I bent over to analyse my leg. The thin pink scar that I had seen yesterday was now almost white.

This was me now, the girl with the superhero secret. I had to start accepting it.

With the stench under my nose fast becoming unbearable, I suppressed my enormous hunger and picked up the folded towel and heap of clothes, a pair of jeans and a flowery blouse, from the dressing table. It was girly clothing, but it was about my size, and the tags were still on, so I assumed that it was meant for me.

The bathroom was right across the passage, with a big shower and a heap of little bottles with soaps and shampoo and stuff. It was heaven to feel the water running over my skin and the soap washing away the past few days. But I couldn't dwell on things, the hunger rushed me out of the shower.

Before I left the bathroom, I looked in the full-length mirror. The image was a million times better than before: for one I was clean, and the clothing fitted like my own, not my taste but not bad either.

My stomach growled. I put the dirty pile of clothes on the bed and turned, letting my shoes follow my nose from the small bedroom to the kitchen, to find Benjamin in front of the stove, busy making brunch.

The owner had a minimalistic hand to both the furnishing and decorating of the small cottage. The bedroom had no more than one single bed and a dressing table. The kitchen had, apart from the fridge and sink, a big table in the middle and one tall cupboard. But it was a safe house, after all, and maybe this was the norm for safe houses.

"Oh, it smells soooo good! What are you making?"

Benjamin looked over his shoulder from the stove, grinning from ear to ear.

"You'll see. Go sit there, at the table. It'll be another half an hour or so before we can eat."

I wanted to help, but also didn't want to spoil his fun. So I did as he said, although a small taste would have helped with my growling tummy.

"You're looking and..." he walked closer and smelled my hair, "dare I say it, smelling better," he said and winked at me. "And your face doesn't look like a dandelion any more."

I couldn't hold back the blush, even though he was only teasing. He noticed my discomfort immediately and walked back to the stove.

"Seriously, are you feeling any better?" he asked, suggesting I inspect myself properly.

I stretched my arms forward and then my legs, to test again for any pains, but felt nothing. Physically, I was as good as new.

"Yes, thanks for asking, and thank you for the clothes. I am feeling a lot better. I've slept enough for a few ages."

"I'm glad to hear that. I guessed your size, and the store lady helped me with the choice of clothes. And with the shampoo and soaps."

"You bought all this?"

"Yep."

"Thank you very much, it was very considerate of you." He had been to an awful lot of trouble for someone who almost had him killed. I felt humbled.

"Anything, Valerie." His stare was intense for a short moment. "Can I get you something to drink? I'm having coffee but there's juice in the fridge if you prefer it," he offered.

"That will be wonderful, thanks. Or no, I'll get it myself. Just point me in the right direction for a glass."

Under Benjamin's instruction I poured myself a glass of orange juice and then sat down again.

"And how are you feeling? After the accident, I mean? I saw you crashing into us." I remembered the whole scene, and why it had happened as well. "Oh, Benjamin, I have to say it again. I am very, very sorry for betraying you. You were almost killed because of me."

He stopped what he was doing at the stove, walked to me and pulled out a chair for himself. Leaning forward, he took my hand in his.

"Valerie, look at me. We are not going to talk about it. I don't want to hear one word about it ever again. It's in the past." He bent over and hugged me. "Forgive yourself, get over it and put it out of your mind."

Then he got up and continued with the food. It was silent for a while. His kindness brought the tears to my eyes again.

"Could you pass me the milk in the fridge, please?" he asked. I was glad for the minute chore, it gave me a moment to hide my tears. The fridge was practically empty, but he let me search for it until I was ready.

"You're a great guy, you know?" I said as I handed him the milk ages later.

"Yes, I know. The FHM girls tell me that too," he joked.

I sipped my juice while he poured some milk into the food. He stirred the pot once more before he sat down at the table opposite me, deep in thought.

There was a good vibe between us, and I took the chance.

"Benjamin, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, anything."

"Why am I glowing all the time and you guys only glow sometimes?" A possible explanation that I had thought of was that they were stars. But then I would have seen Lisa's glow; she was a planet as well.

"We can control it, except during transfers of energy or when our emotions run high, either good or bad. You will be able to control yours as well once you've practised a little."

"Okay, but tell me something else as well. Why am I glowing white now, and different shades of blue other times?"

"That's just because of Alex. He is a regular yellow star, which is an incredibly powerful star. If he transfers energy, it causes close-by ambassadors and most objects to glow white. And I have to add that he was very mad at seeing you so beat up. Me too, you know. Really upset," he said bitterly, staring deep into the cup of coffee in front of him.

"Oh," I answered a little perplexed. Alex cared for me in some way, and clearly Benjamin did as well.

"Yes, his power is really intimidating, even to me, and I've known him for a very long time," he said, his jaw stiff.

I didn't want to think about the episode with Duncan any more, and deliberately focused on everything around me instead.

"Where are we? It's test week this week and the first one is tomorrow. I hope we aren't too far away from campus; I still need to study."

The first test on the roster was Astronomy, if memory served me right. It was now my favourite subject in the entire universe. I couldn't wait to get my hands on my text book, and I didn't even care what Jennifer would think.

"It's no more than an hour's drive. And we can leave directly after brunch... if you want?"

"That'll be good. There's a heap of studying waiting for me."

"In that case, you can maybe wake Alex. The meal is basically ready." And with that, Benjamin jumped up to check on the food again.

I really didn't want to wake Alex, so I stayed put.

"He's sleeping in the last bedroom down the passage," Benjamin said pointedly, so I got up. But the easiness about the atmosphere had suddenly vanished and I couldn't figure out why.

I tiptoed down the passage to the last door. It was closed and I opened it as slowly and softly as I could. Alex was on his side, with his back to me. I hesitated. It felt as if I was intruding. A feeling of uneasiness overwhelmed me and I turned to go. But I stopped in my tracks in the passage, arguing with myself.

It wasn't such a big deal, waking someone. Maybe it only felt so wrong because I had placed him on a pedestal in my mind, which wasn't necessarily a good thing.

Determined, I turned back into the room to wake him.

"Alex!" I called, in a semi-soft voice.

He didn't move. I walked a little closer.

"Alex. Alex!" I tried again, but he still didn't move.

I stretched out my hand and touched his shoulder.

He was in a very deep sleep, because my touch startled the poor guy. He jerked awake with a quick intake of breath and almost jumped off the bed. The combination of my awkwardness and his reaction was too much and a giggle slipped out of me.

"Hey, Valerie," Alex grinned, embarrassed.

The giggle stopped in my throat. He didn't have a shirt on and the sight of his naked chest made me even more uncomfortable.

"Uh... hi, Alex," I answered unnerved. "S-sorry," I stuttered, feeling intimidated.

"It's okay. We're even now."

Even? My mind was a big white blank.

"The day in the parking lot? Remember?" he asked.

He had that effect on me again. I couldn't do much but nod.

He climbed out of bed and stretched out, his full length and unbelievable physique centimetres away. I stood completely frozen, his body close to me, the body of nothing less than a Greek god.

Then he looked down at me. "Something the matter?" he asked, smiling again.

It struck me that I had just woken him but I couldn't remember why. _Focus, Valerie_! I scolded myself. He was Lisa's, and I chanted her name over and over in my head.

"No," I answered and turned to leave. Then I remembered about the food. "Benjamin said to wake you, he made brunch and it's almost ready."

"Thanks, Valerie."

I disappeared immediately.

In the kitchen, Benjamin was busy with a small fruit salad. He was going all out. My hands were shaking and I plunked down on the closest chair I could find. I didn't want Benjamin to see how unnerved I was and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Do you like playing chef?" Most men I knew, which were basically only my dad, preferred to stay out of the kitchen.

"I do, sometimes. When I feel like treating someone," he replied with a secretive smile.

Okay, the message was becoming clear now. Benjamin was really trying hard here. For a moment, I considered that he was trying to impress me, but then decided that he was only being friendly. He'd admitted that he was sorry for me over the terrible ordeal with Duncan. No, he was definitely only being friendly. Besides, he was doing this for Alex as well. Oh, I could be so selfish, thinking the entire universe revolved around me. Just because I had romance on my mind didn't mean the rest of the world did as well.

"Can I set the table for us in the meantime?" I wanted to help, keep busy. It wasn't good to think so much. I only came to the wrong conclusions.

"You can if you want to, everything is in the cupboard."

The cupboard proved to be sufficiently stocked. I found everything in there from an orange and maroon checked table cloth to cutlery, crockery and serviettes.

Alex walked in, smelling like a bar of soap, just as I finished putting out the last plate.

"Well, thanks, Bennie. It smells real good. You shouldn't have." Alex gave Benjamin a light slap on the back and peeked over his shoulder into the pots. He lifted the lids one by one and commented with a 'hmmm' every time.

"We always beg him to cook for us, but he's always so busy with all of his wild hobbies," Alex told me. "It's high time!"

"Yes, my friend, I have to admit that it's been a while. But we have been busy, you know?"

"Yeah, we have," Alex said, a little toned down.

"Wild hobbies?" I asked curiously.

"Benjamin is an adrenaline addict. He loves anything extreme. From bungee jumping to skydiving to who knows what."

I just shook my head. It wasn't my idea of fun. I was too milk-livered.

"Hey, don't make me out as the crazy one. You got me into it!"

"Guess so," Alex admitted.

"You guys seem like good friends."

"We are, in spite of the hierarchy," Benjamin answered.

"But enough with the waiting now, let's eat! I'm hungry as an ox," Alex changed the subject.

They waited for me to dish up and then we all dived in. It was the brunch of my life, from chicken livers to cocktail sausages, fried eggs and tomatoes, even flapjacks. The table was quiet as we all dug into it.

Alex stopped eating and raised his glass of juice. "We should be celebrating," he announced in a formal fashion. He waited for us to finish and pick up our glasses before he continued.

"We are celebrating the triumph of round one..." he paused. "And we are celebrating life." Then he turned to me. "And earth."

His gaze made me uncomfortable, especially in the presence of Benjamin. I couldn't move.

Benjamin rescued me.

"Yes, to celebrate earth. But we also need to protect her. We need to decide on the... attack strategy," he flew off at a tangent, letting the cat out of the bag in the process.

"We? Aren't we missing a few people, like say, Jupiter for instance? Or any of the other planets? Lisa, maybe?" I asked. He caught me on the wrong foot. It felt wrong, me in the decision chair.

"Between the three of us, we have veto power. You are the most powerful amongst us, Alex's powers have the biggest reach and I have all the combat knowledge that we might need. And, Valerie, don't underestimate yourself. Give yourself a chance before you give up," Benjamin said.

He talked right to my heart. I had to learn to trust myself again, but it would take time. I hesitated.

"I'll listen. But you guys know that I don't have any experience with this... kind of thing?"

"We know," Benjamin answered.

"Hold your horses a bit, Bennie-boy. We need to get Valerie on the same page first," Alex intervened.

Benjamin moved around in his seat. "If you must, but you need to make it short, Alex. Valerie has studying to do," Benjamin said.

"I know. I have to study as well. But Valerie needs to know, this is life and death. And not only for us around the table," Alex said, more serious than I had ever seen him before. "Let's start at the very beginning, at what Duncan did to you. Now, just like the earth never sees the other side of the moon, it's the same with his powers. Only once you have physically seen the other side, the dark side, is his spell broken. No one else can tell you about the other side, you have to experience or see it for yourself. That was the main reason why no one was allowed to tell you anything. Think about it. Once you saw his other side, his spell was broken. Isn't that right?"

I thought about it. If he had the power of manipulation, he could have forced me to swallow the sleeping pill. And before that, I was prepared to do anything for him. He even had me believing that Alex and Lisa, of all people, were the baddies.

"The more I think about it, the more it makes sense," I answered Alex.

"You need to understand that we don't know everything about another ambassador's powers. The little we do know is deduced from the physical properties of the sponsoring celestial body and previous encounters with the ambassador. In Duncan's case, his powers aren't so much physical but more on the spiritual side. I know a little about his powers because he once pretended to be a friend of mine," Alex said sourly.

Benjamin nodded, a strange expression on his face that I couldn't identify.

"But back to the point. You grew up under your adopted father's protection. But the day that you left his house, you became my... responsibility, for lack of a better word. That is why I waited for you in the parking lot that first day, do you remember?"

I nodded. I did remember, so well.

"Unfortunately, I'm still a young ru... I'm still new at this. I can sense other strong ambassadors by their gravity, as you can when I'm mad for instance. You sense it in the form of a force, pulling on you. Anyway, I made a mistake, a big mistake. I didn't sense him, I concentrated on the big guns. And I underestimated him. He patiently waited for you, for a long time, and took the gap when it presented itself."

Alex took a sip of his orange juice. I realised it couldn't be easy admitting to a mistake. He probably blamed himself for all of this.

"Fortunately, I have another power, which basically saved you that day. I have the ability to see everything on earth, everywhere the sun shines. I have to think of a person and then concentrate on the mental image I have of that person, so it only works on people who I've met before. But it is limited in that it has an eight minute delay and limited vision on rainy days. I saw what was happening, Valerie. And it was almost too late. You can just imagine how mad I was. Lisa had to calm me down, I could have exploded," he said bitterly and started glowing softly.

Suddenly the eight minute mystery was solved. And the white glow in my room for two weeks.

It was getting more and more interesting, but also stranger by the second. It didn't sound like a story that I had played a part in. It sounded like a movie that he had seen and was telling me about.

"But what was he trying to do, Alex? Was he trying to steal my power? I don't understand."

"We've figured out this much. He tried to weaken you. You need to remember, your link was brand new. He actually triggered you. And he also knew that forcing power from you could weaken you enough to disturb the balance."

"And where would that have brought him?"

"He wants to destroy earth, Valerie. He's jealous. Earth is world- or rather, universe famous. He wants earth out of orbit, so that the moon can take her orbit. Earth is the only one that is exactly the right distance from the sun to be able to support life," he said, glowing brighter this time.

It really was about life! I was famous? My heart galloped. I still couldn't believe it, it was too fantastical.

"This is really about life, as you said the other day?"

"Yes, Valerie. It's the reason for all of this. We are all here to appreciate and revere life on earth," he said softly.

If someone had told me all of this three months ago, I would have classified the person as seriously disturbed. Now it wasn't only a scene that I had been playing in, I had the lead role!

My mouth fell open. "This is big."

Alex ignored my comment. "Okay, now you understand the first attack. I stopped him the first time. So the logical thing was to get me out of the way. I saw that coming, which was why I ordered the Reds to keep an eye out for you. But I underestimated Duncan again. He used a method to weaken me that no one knew was possible. Luckily it was figured out during the emergency meeting."

"How did he do it?" Benjamin asked. "I don't know either."

"He blocked my link. Between any two bodies pulling on each other, there is a 'neutral' point, as is the case with celestial bodies having mass and gravity. These points are called Lagrange points. Now in space, there are five Lagrange points around any two bodies. Duncan slowly weakened me by placing objects in the form of satellites on each of the Lagrange points."

"But why would that weaken your link, Alex?" Benjamin asked.

"It seems to disturb the balance between the sponsor and the ambassador, and apparently it can nullify the link" he said heavily.

"No wonder you were out cold!" Benjamin exclaimed.

"Then the weather added to this dilemma, keeping me from any direct sunlight."

I remembered his reference to the weather and his warning the day before he fell into his coma. Now I understood why he had asked me, the night in the cabin, to accept myself and get into a better mood.

"I'm so sorry, Alex. If only I'd known..."

"I'm not blaming, I'm explaining. Don't be sorry. I know you would have acted differently if you knew the truth."

"And with you out of the way, he came for me. Or rather waited for me," I realised.

"Yes, he waited for you to come to the wrong conclusions."

"And I fell right into his trap. So predictable." One thing was sure, Duncan certainly was a master manipulator.

"Put that out of your mind and concentrate on our strategy forward. I would like to hear your opinion as well," Alex urged.

But Duncan was the _moon._ What powers could the _moon_ have against the _sun_?

"But Alex, why all this hassle? Why don't you destroy him, if that is possible?"

"It is possible. But think about the order of the planets: Mercury, Venus and then Earth and the moon. I would risk them all. And I'd probably have to exceed the capacity of my connection."

I considered his words. Everything made sense now, but it was a lot to absorb and my brain was boggling. I still had studying to do, but that would be easy against this. Studying was mere facts, where this was life-saving stuff, as Alex had said.

There was a lot that I had to learn about this new world. And I realised that studying for my test would also help me prepare for the new world that _did_ revolve around me.

"Anyone for coffee?" Benjamin used the moment of silence. "I need to get up, I don't have a bum of steel," he complained.

"Thank you, Bennie-boy. Breakfast was great," Alex said and bent backwards as if trying to make space.

"Yes, thank you Benjamin. It was delicious. And now I'll make us all coffee, you did everything else," I offered.

Benjamin glanced at me. "No, you won't. You can open your present," he said with a grin.

"My present?" Not having a clue as to the occasion or the intent, I frowned. He disappeared into the passage. I turned to Alex with my frown still in place.

"Your phone was damaged during the transfer," Alex said with a roll of his eyes, spoiling Benjamin's surprise.

I still didn't understand.

"It was in Duncan's apartment. He recognised it by the little green butterfly on the string. He kept it in his pocket and forgot about it. It was damaged by the flow of power when he held you while I healed you."

"But a phone is too expensive! I can never accept it!"

"Oh, he doesn't even feel it. He's a Red, remember? They are highly professional and are also highly rewarded for their... services."

Just then, Benjamin walked in with a small, wrapped package in his hand and a shy grin on his face.

"It's a phone," he blurted out nervously as he handed me that package. "I broke yours, sorry about that."

Benjamin was on the spot and I decided to accept it. There weren't any ulterior motives after all. I would have done the same if I had broken someone else's phone. That was if I was in a position to afford it.

"Benjamin, you're the best!" I exclaimed. I felt like hugging him.

His smile widened. "Sure. I've asked the store guy to program my and Alex's numbers, so that you can phone me whenever," he answered.

Benjamin made us all coffee and I opened the package. It was a fancy phone, a business type Nokia, with way too many functions and buttons for a mere varsity student.

"Thank you, Benjamin." I walked to him and hugged him under Alex's staring eyes.

"It's my pleasure," Benjamin answered graciously.

"Now phone your dad! He was worried when I talked to him yesterday," Alex ordered. "We can talk strategy afterwards."

"No, I'll rather do that on our way back in the car. I still have studying to do."

Everyone took in their seats around the table with coffee in hand.

Alex didn't wait to set the ball rolling. "Now that we all know what Duncan wants to achieve, we can strategise our moves. We need to line up our biggest guns and attack when he least expects it," he said sounding eager.

"Well, we need to know what we're up against and what we have available on our side," Benjamin commented.

"I agree. But it's not that easy. On our side we know what we have. The problem is that we don't know who he has on his side or what powers they may have. I know for one that Lucas, Mars, is on his team from the incident at the party, but I have no idea who else or anything about their powers. If we know who, we could try to deduce it from the physical properties of the celestial body, but it's not always that straight forward."

"I remember someone else with Duncan. His name is Gavin. Do you know him?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, I know Gavin: he is not to be underestimated. He's the closest brown dwarf. But that's all we know, then. And we shouldn't leave a possible traitor or two out of the equation. Basically, we don't and won't know who or what we are up against."

"Were fighting blind," Benjamin murmured.

"Valerie, we need to awaken your powers. And quickly. In order to do that, I'm going to do something dangerous." Alex swallowed and looked at both me and Benjamin with big eyes. "I am going to endanger Earth."

"I'm going to... fight?" I asked nervously, suddenly realising what the attack strategy might involve. It made me so nervous that I had to stand up. I looked around for something to do, and found the breakfast dishes conveniently heaped. Benjamin protested, but I ignored him. I couldn't sit still for one second longer.

"Yes, you are our biggest... uh... gun. We can't win this without you," Alex said. "But it's nothing like a bar fight, don't worry. It's like you've seen at the party. Normal people can't even see it," Alex explained, slightly amused.

"Is someone going to die, Alex? Do I need to ... to kill people?" I asked, worried.

"Only one, the others we can manage," he answered.

I stopped and looked at Alex. "Do you want me to _kill_ him? No matter what he did to me, I can't see myself killing another human being!" I really hoped that I had understood him wrong.

"Valerie, I'm sorry that we have to ask this of you. But you are the one in this position and only you can save earth. If there was a way to strip him of his link or powers, that would have been our first option." He drew a breath. "Yes, you are going to have to kill him."

"No! It's too much to ask. I cannot do this!" I exclaimed. "And tell me, what will then happen to the moon?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing will happen to the moon. It will remain where it is, jealous and manipulative and devious as always, but without an ambassador on earth. In a few year's time there will be another supernova and the moon might send another ambassador. We'll probably upset him even more, only being able to watch earth at a distance then."

"Won't that only delay the problem? Or even make it worse?"

"It will, but to be honest, it'll never stop. He will never ever stop hunting you. Don't you get it?" Alex was upset, practically screaming at me.

It went quiet around the table. I turned and kept myself busy with the dishes, deep in thought.

"I'll think about this. It's not something that I can easily agree to, killing someone, you know? It's not me at all," I said when I finished.

"We both can understand that, but you need to hurry. He could attack at any time. I'll obviously keep an eye out for him. But I've underestimated him before. Actually not him so much as the power of sheer jealousy," Alex said as if to himself.

I wanted, or rather needed to get away. One moment this new world sounded so glorious. Now it required me to do something horrific.

My link with the earth was strong. And earth had an almost unique ability to support life. That was exactly who I was and I felt: the very essence of me was to support or revere or love life. And Alex was asking me now to take a life? I couldn't. Not even Duncan's, in spite of everything.

Duncan had made me betray myself under his spell. Now Alex was asking the same of me; voluntarily but not really voluntarily.

The breakfast aftertaste was bitter in my mouth. I should have expected this. There was no such thing as a glamorous world without a glamorous cost. And maybe this was the price that I needed to pay, the bad part, the paparazzi of being a part of this ... astronomical universe.

"Can we go now? I still need to study for tomorrow's test."

Alex sighed. "Sure."

Benjamin grabbed a few loose things lying about. I went to my room to tidy it and then grabbed my dirty clothes from the bed and my new phone from the kitchen table.

We were quiet and the atmosphere was downbeat in the car all the way back to the dorm. Not even the upbeat music or the scenic drive made it better. Or my new fancy phone.

I wasn't ready to talk to my dad yet either, and couldn't get myself to phone. Instead I asked Alex to let them know that I was fine. After all, he was responsible for me. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

I looked out the car window and I could feel the moon was laughing at me.

They dropped me in front of my dorm.

"Thanks for breakfast, Benjamin. And thank you again for my new phone. I'll see you around?" I asked hopefully. I liked having him close by all over campus.

"I'll be around, Val. Take care of yourself," he smiled.

"See you Alex," and I got out of the car with that.

Alex called me back.

"Valerie, I'm sorry for asking this of you. Please consider it carefully," he begged as soon as I answered.

I didn't need to ask what. I shook my head. "Alex, I can't do this. I cannot go against my own beliefs, even if it means saving the earth."

"For your parents? For the next guy on the street? For the survival of man?" he asked.

I stared at him wordlessly. He was still my Alex, he looked the same as always.

And then softer: "For me, Valerie?"

_He knew how I felt about him_ , I thought. _Was he using it?_

I couldn't answer and walked away with raindrops falling on my head.

The astronomy text book stared at me. I was in my room, behind my desk, supposed to be studying. Only yesterday there was a moment that I'd thought it was my new favourite subject in the world. Now I felt too conflicted to open the textbook.

I'd done everything but study after they'd dropped me: I collected notes from Lisa and gave her an update, I did my laundry, I cleaned my room, I reorganised my closet, I visited Jennifer and told her a conjured up story about Ronald. She clearly didn't know he'd been in an accident.

Now there wasn't much else left to do that I could think of. And time was running out. The sun was setting already and the test was scheduled for ten tomorrow morning.

I've never flunked a subject before. I didn't want to flunk this test either. It would jeopardise my entrance to the final exam. And that would jeopardise my entire first year. and all of my parents' life savings.

I had no choice. I had to study. And fast. I opened the thick book reluctantly...

***

Chapter 14 – Sunburnt

I was fast asleep when my phone rang eardrum-shatteringly loudly next to me.

Disorientated, I flew up and peeked through one opened eye to see who was calling. It was my dad.

"Hello, dear! We're here!" my dad said excitedly.

Uhh! I had just fallen asleep mere seconds ago. "Hi, Dad," I answered sleepily.

"Were you sleeping? Sorry, love. We're downstairs. Whenever you're ready."

"Okay, I'm on my way. Just give me a moment, please?"

Somewhere in the middle of the test week, all the studying and limited sleep and food had made me forget the date and time, my dad had, promised to pick me up after my final test. _least I wouldn't have to drive_ , I thought, so I agreed gratefully.

It had been a rough week, studying and writing and studying and writing, with a few morsels of food and sleep only here and there. There wasn't time for my friends at all. Jennifer barged in a few times, but I quickly shoved her out again without feeling one little scrap guilty about it. I didn't take any of Benjamin's thousands of calls either. Or the one from Alex. But I did send them messages afterwards, apologising for not answering.

The best thing about the test week, though, was that a vacation always followed. A peaceful, quiet time with my parents at home was lying ahead, and I was looking forward to it. It also meant that my porridged brain could have a well deserved rest.

Coincidentally, there was apparently also some unbelievably important meeting coming up and according to my dad I simply had to be there. He didn't want to say more over the phone and I didn't have any brain cells spare to listen either.

I got up from bed and quickly pulled the sheets together. On my way out I grabbed my bag, the small one. The vacation was only for one week and I had packed lightly, winter being still a while away.

On my way down the stairs I thought about my parents. I really looked forward to seeing them as the last visit hadn't really counted as a visit at all. And hopefully this one wouldn't have any big surprises; this time I already knew all the secrets.

The parking lot was empty, apart from my station wagon way back in the furthest corner of the parking lot. Everybody had already left for the holiday; astronomy was the only subject that had been scheduled for today.

My mom beamed at the sight of me. "Hello Valerie," she said with tears in her eyes.

"Hi, dear. We're glad to see you!" my dad said cheerfully.

"Hi Mom, Dad. Why are you crying, Mom?" I asked, feigning surprise.

"We were so worried about you!" she said and hugged me tightly.

"Oh, I'm fine, Mom. I'm tougher than you think!"

She squeezed me even tighter.

My dad took my bag out of my hand and loaded it into the trunk of his car. Then he opened the door for my mother. The three of us roared away in their second-hand bottle-green nineteen-something BMW.

"How are you doing? How did the tests go? Alex said that you were beaten up? He only told us the highlights, from what he'd seen. Did they hurt you bad?" The questions rattled out at me.

"Slow down, Mom. I'm doing fine but I don't want to talk about the... My tests went well, thank you."

She went quiet and then said softly: "It's okay, dear." She wiggled her hand through the gap between the door and the seat and grabbed my leg to give it a little hug.

I yawned. I was starting to relax a little and felt like falling asleep there and then. "Yep, my tests were okay. They reduced me to a jelly-brained mummy, but I made it." I was proud of myself for how hard I'd worked and how well it had gone.

"That's good, Valerie. As long as you do your best, we don't care about the results."

They always said that. I stared out the window with my head resting against the side of the door. Buildings and road markings sped by and blurred together with the memory of my last visit home.

"I've never had a chance to apologise about before, about walking out. It's just that I was really upset. The whole world was going weird and I didn't expect you guys to be... a part of it." It came out wrong and I tried to fix it. "Not that I care any more, its kind-of cool that you're a part of it all; I don't feel so alone. But tell me, how are you a part of this? Are you guys...uh... connected as well?"

"Your mother isn't, but I am. Ever heard of Molecular Clouds?" my dad answered.

I immediately recalled the section that I had studied on the birth of stars and planets. Molecular Clouds contain the material for the formation of new solar systems and even galaxies if they are big enough. In a sense, Molecular Clouds are like the parents of planets and stars.

"Astronomy is one of my favourite subjects, Dad! You are from one of the newborn stars?"

"I am an ambassador for the Orion Complex," he said heavily.

"The entire..? But... but that's _huge_!"

I felt humble at the thought. The Orion Complex was absolutely massive, stretching over the biggest part of the constellation Orion in the sky. It was millions and millions of times bigger than Earth, or the Sun even. Every single time that I thought I had everything together, there was a new dimension. It wasn't limited to planets and stars any more.

My dad, the Orion Molecular Cloud Complex. I repeated it in my head a few times. In a sense, the parent role suited him.

"Dad, that is really awe-inspiring," I said softly. "With that size, you're probably famous!"

"Valerie, you know I don't care about things like that."

His modesty was typical of him. He was probably very, very famous, therefore his reprimanding answer. And I knew him well enough not to push the subject. But there was another question that I'd wanted to ask for a while.

"Dad, how did you know about my glow before?"

"Honey, we expected it, but we weren't sure. You see, two significant things happened many years ago. There was a supernova not so far away, so we expected new ambassadors. And also, there was sporadic, strong magnetic activity on Earth. You can sense magnetism as well, can't you?"

I nodded.

"It was strong enough to threaten Earth itself. We first searched the heavens for an anomaly, but nothing fit the profile. It took a long time to conclude that it came from the surface of the Earth instead. I and your mother headed out in the direction of South-West Africa to find the source."

I listened closely, puzzling in my mind what the problem could have been.

"We found you in the bush, all alone, all by yourself. You were about three years old. I couldn't find any grown-up near you. The closest settlement was about twenty kilometres away, and they didn't know you at all."

My heart raced in my chest. My lifetime of dreams and visions about being in the bush suddenly made sense! Tears welled up in my eyes. I had always known that they were true! And I wasn't as crazy as I thought. There was substance to my connection with Earth now. Maybe Earth was calling for someone to save me.

Then I feared the fact of having been alone out there. How could I possibly have survived for three years? Surely only a terrible mother would leave a baby alone like that? No wonder my parents had told me that she had died and urged me not to even think about her.

"You were the source of the activity. That's how we know you are so strong. An ambassador's power can be measured by the strength of the magnetic field radiated. We had phone calls from all over the world asking who the new strong ambassador was. And if you think about it, even Alex's reach is a few meters at most. You stopped radiating shortly after we'd found you."

Impossible! Alex had access to the energy of the sun, a star. How could the Earth be so strong then? Or my Dad have the gravitational energy of a massive molecular cloud? I recalled what they said about distance playing a role, but certainly not that big a role.

"How did you know that my connection is with Earth, and not a star for instance?"

"We have a little device that translates the pattern and colour of your iris to the address of the ambassador's star or planet. The link is usually triggered sometime later in life and then the sponsoring body is confirmed. It's really Earth, love," he paused and then sounded very serious. "But what makes the situation so dangerous, is that you are Earth's first."

"Why is it dangerous?"

"It's a new experience for both of you. Usually the celestial body helps to limit energy surges in such a way as to not physically hurt the ambassador, but in your case, she has to learn that first."

It was an unfounded fear. I have never felt anything but safety and protection from Earth. She loved me, I knew that for certain. And the very way that she slowly revealed our connection to me also proved that she was properly in control. What didn't make sense to me was why she had picked me, if indeed she did pick me.

"How does it work, Dad? Did Earth pick me?"

"Ambassadors are born to ambassador parents in the same region of the galaxy. But Earth is a complete mystery as no one has come forward, and I know practically all the ambassadors. If you could remember a face... or...something... only you can unlock the secret. Maybe Earth did pick you. We just don't know," he said, sighing heavily.

"It made sense after we'd found you to... keep you. Sorry, love. I don't want it to sound like deciding over a puppy, but that's the truth. Your mother was so happy. She believed, and still does, that you were sent directly from heaven for her. And I was in the position to protect you."

I knew this to be true; she'd always said that, throughout my entire life. Then I realised she hadn't said a single word all this time.

"Mom, why are you so quiet?"

"It's difficult to hear about these things, Valerie. And it's frustrating that you are in the centre of all of this, right in the line of fire," she said bitterly. "I'll be honest. At first it was very hard to accept the other dimension to your father, but it has given me a little baby girl. Now that little baby is constantly threatened..." she broke up.

"I'll be fine, Mom. I have the best protectors on earth. And in the entire universe!" I said enthusiastically.

But my words didn't help, she only cried harder. Dad placed his hand on her leg and squeezed. He let her cry without saying a word.

"So tell me about the big meeting?" I asked to distract my mom.

"You'll see when we get there," he said seriously.

I assumed it would upset my Mom even further, so I left it there.

It was quiet in the car for the rest of the way. I closed my eyes and got lost in thought, thinking about everything my dad had told me.

The car stopped eventually and I sat up to look around. We were in an open grassy field, at the foot of a mountain, amongst hundreds of cars. There weren't any buildings and no people either. It was bushveld all around, beautiful as ever in the twilight.

"Where _is_ everybody?" I asked.

My dad didn't answer and kept staring up at the mountain through the front window.

"Don't tell me! We're going to climb it?" I asked surprised. I loved the veldt and nature, but climbing up that mountain was a little crazy.

"We need to hurry, we only have until midnight," he answered. Then he turned to me. "Don't worry about Artemis; tonight will be moonless, so he won't bother us."

"Why midnight?" I asked.

"Not to interrupt the normal daytime lives of ambassadors. Except during extreme emergencies. And I think everyone is here, all the triggered ones. We're about three hundred."

We got out of the car, but instead of starting the climb, my dad walked round the car to the boot. He took out a heavy bag that I recognised as their tent.

"And this?" I asked when he started to put up the tent. "Are we sleeping here? And why don't I see any other tents?"

"It's for your mother. She's not allowed to go into the meeting and we'll only be back around sunrise."

"Right next to the car? Isn't it dangerous?" I asked, nervously. Apart from the Duncans of the world, there were natural threats as well. Who knows what type of snakes hid around? And that was only one of the local predators.

"We have to obey the rules, honey."

"Stuff that! What rules? Whose rules? And what if we don't obey? Are we going to get a hiding?" I asked sarcastically.

"Oh, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. I'm used to this already. I'm going to finish up and dive into bed," she said, smiling at me. She looked slightly better than a few moments ago in the car.

"No, we won't be punished. We obey out of respect and because we agree with it. You see, it can be dangerous for your mother up there. Sometimes when emotions run high, there are power surges and she doesn't have a celestial body that can help absorb the excess power. Besides, it's not as if we leave her all alone in the bush. The Reds will be on watch."

The thought of the Reds being around put me to rest. Then I thought about the rules.

"But what about me? I don't even know the rules."

"Well, because most of the rules are there to protect our society on Earth and therefore Earth herself, you are technically exempt. Earth will show you when she is in need or when something gets dangerous. It works both ways: she can hear you and you can hear her."

"I've never heard her before, dad," I said softly.

"There was a time when you were very small when you did hear her. You need to start listening again. No one can help you with that. Try your best, dear, she might need you as well."

Dad finished the tent and made a little bed inside. He carried out a camping chair, his back pack, her bag and the cooler bag. From the cooler bag he took out water bottles and cold drink cans for the three of us. He put mine and his into his back pack.

"Don't you want to put on something more comfortable for the climb?" he asked me.

I thought about the contents of my little bag. There was an old track suit in there, but considering the amount of people, I'd rather die than be seen in it in front of such a crowd. And my sneakers were comfortable enough for such an exodus.

"I'm fine, thanks dad."

My mother grabbed his hand as he turned away. "Take care of my baby, please Hank?" she begged.

"I will," he said solemnly.

It was dark already and he took out a torch from his backpack. We started the climb up the massive mountain, weaponed against the night with the light from a small torch. We walked in silence for the first hundred meters or so, concentrating on the way in front of us. I felt at home, completely at ease and relaxed. It felt right being there, in the veldt, under the big night sky, in spite of the dark.

"Your mother really loves you, you know?" he continued without giving me a chance to comment. "She was really upset the day that she discovered my ability to..." he stopped abruptly.

"To what, dad?" I asked curiously.

"Let me show you instead," he answered reluctantly.

He handed me the torch and then bent forward to look at the spot where the light was shining. Without touching, a few grains of sand lifted slightly and then slowly revolved around the little pebble. The pebble rose, spinning faster and faster, until it was only a blur to my eyes.

It blurred for a few seconds and then sparked and fell down, motionless but glowing red hot. I reached over to pick it up, but he grabbed my hand before I touched it.

"Don't touch, it's still very hot."

"Wow, dad! That is amazing!" I exclaimed. "It's so.... I love that you can do that. I don't even have words!"

"It's amazing on sand and stone. But on a human body..."

I shivered. It was too gruesome a scene to even think about. And to associate such a scene with my dad!

He grinned slightly. "Your mother's reaction was a little different. She found me 'welding' in the garage. I can't even remember what I was welding. I had to tell her everything. Her reaction was also the main reason why we waited to tell you. She really understood when you walked out the other day, as she'd felt the same."

I realised it wasn't an easy thing for him, talking about all the censure from my mother. In some way, she blamed him. He felt alone, and I could relate to that. At least now we could be alone together.

We pressed on, each to our own thoughts.

An hour later we stopped for a rest. I opened a bottle of water and looked up at the clear, clear night sky, bright with gazillions of little lights. To think that they were alive!

"Can they see me, dad?"

He followed my gaze. "Yes dear. They are looking at us, with a delay, though. Some are many light-years away. During daytime the sun blinds them and during the night the moon blocks some, but they can see. They are definitely looking down on us."

It felt freaky being watched under a sky of eyes. I shivered. The sky had always felt alive - because it is alive!

"Let's rather get going, please?"

He got up and took the lead again, shining the way with his torch.

"This is really going to be a big meeting. Who will be there?"

"You'll see," he answered.

We reached the top minutes before midnight, exhausted and as dried out as a Karoo bush.

Stretching out in front of us was nothing less than a wedding feast, under the open sky on the grassy plain: to the far side were tables stacked with food; in the middle were arranged rows of set tables and chairs; to the front was a big table, made up most extravagantly of all, like a bride's table.

There were torches planted all over the entire area and big round candles lit the paths between the tables.

Most of the tables were occupied already, with only a few seats left open here and there. The majority of the people were dressed casually, looking relaxed and conversing like old friends. The hum of their voices travelled far into the quiet night, carried by a light breeze.

"Who's getting married?" I asked my dad in a whisper.

Before he could answer, a man walked up to us, a few years younger than my dad.

"Welcome, welcome. It's good to see you, my friend. We're happy that you came," he told my dad with a broad smile as they shook hands.

"Yes, it's good to see you as well, Vince," he answered. "This is my daughter, Valerie," he said turning to me.

"Welcome, Valerie," Vince greeted me as well.

"Please get something to drink," he said and pointed at a table close by, stacked with drinks. "Seating arrangements are shown on the board next to the table."

We walked over and both gulped down a litre of water while my dad studied the seating plan.

"We need to hurry, love, it's about to start," he urged. I took another bottle for the proceedings, as I didn't know how long it would take or what to expect. I followed him under a staring eye here or there, but didn't recognise anybody.

We took our places at a table close to the front and were just seated, when I felt a strong force pulling on me, coming from the back. I turned in my seat to look and noticed that everybody else was looking down.

"Dad, why is everybody looking down?" I whispered.

"Some consider it an honour to be in his presence. Meetings of this size are practically unheard of; usually it's only a few decision makers around a table. That and, they are terrified of Alex."

I should have known that he was going to be here. I wondered if Lisa was also here, somewhere amongst the sea of faces.

"Afraid?" What a silly bunch, I thought. "Afraid of my... afraid of Alex... uh..." It occurred to me that I didn't know his surname.

My dad ignored my slip and nodded.

"Why are they afraid of him? I guess they don't know him at all."

"He's a yellow star, but not any old yellow star. He's in the top ten percent of all yellow stars."

I remembered that from my studies as well.

"And that makes him...?"

"He's not merely a person of rank, you know? Alex is the new ruler of our galaxy." He waited for his words to sink in. "Rulers have been known to be, well, aggressive. The core of a star is hot and they are rather temperamental."

Everybody stood up as Alex walked through the tables, up to the bride's table, with everybody still looking down.

Suddenly the image that I had of him was like a dim little light bulb. His pedestal jumped from a distance slightly above my head to somewhere in the clouds. Alex was the sun, yes, that idea I was getting used to. But now, he was the Ruler of the galaxy as well! Unbelievable. But somehow, on some level, I still felt comfortable with him, like I'd known him for a long time.

"Fellow Ambassadors, please sit down," he said and waited for everybody to sit before seating himself.

The sixty-four thousand dollar question was what were we all doing there. "Before we begin with our agenda, I would like to thank the constellation Taurus for this feast that they have prepared for us. They will now serve hors d'oeuvres while we proceed."

The occupants of four tables at the back jumped up and started dishing out food, under the deathly silence of a few bush sounds. Then two young girls rushed to Alex's table, one with a glass of wine and the other with a closed dish. They bowed before they placed them down in front of him, not looking at him once. To me, the whole scene felt artificial. It was only Alex, ruler or not!

"They forgot to wipe his little nose," I whispered to my dad.

He frowned at me in return. "They can hear you," he whispered back in a reprimanding tone.

I looked up and Alex was grinning at me. The very sight of his smile made the audience behind me buzz softly.

"They are all fighting for his hand, as he isn't married yet," my dad explained.

Oh my, I thought. Lisa wasn't my only competition. Not that I would challenge her, ever. But if she were to leave him....who knew?

"Thank you to everyone for being here. I've called this meeting to give notice of my decision, as was agreed by the Rulers of the galaxies in accordance with stellar legislation."

Even the tables paid attention, he spoke with such sway to his voice.

"There is no other option but to vote for the next Ruler of the Milky Way."

The audience went wild. Alex let them shout their protests for a moment or two, and then raised his hand.

"Calm down, please."

Everyone fell silent.

"I am not here to argue. I have full authority on this matter and will enforce my decision if necessary," he said, sounding cross. Then he added, a little more softly. "Artemis will be punished by death for his acts of threatening Earth. I will call up a surge of power from my star to kill the moon Ambassador. It is the best of all the alternative solutions as it will endanger Earth the least"

It didn't make sense to me. "Why do we need a new Ruler then, Dad?" I whispered.

"Alex will exceed the capacity of his link and his human body cannot survive that. Opening up a surge of energy from a star..." he answered.

"I still don't understand, dad. It's only the moon? Surely Duncan can be killed easily?"

"No, dear, the moon is strong because it is so close. It's much closer than the sun."

I recalled what Alex and Benjamin had told me about exceeding the capacity of a link.

I didn't hear one word further for the rest of the proceedings. I don't know who was there or what we ate or how I got down from the mountain. All I knew was that Alex was going to let himself be killed in order to save Earth. And he was willing to do it to spare me from killing Duncan. I wouldn't get killed, as my link was the strongest.

But I wasn't going to allow it.

I'd have to do it myself.

I'd have to kill Duncan.

***

Chapter 15 – Still natured

The week at my parents didn't go as well as I had hoped. Instead of relaxing, I couldn't get my brain to switch off for one second. I also couldn't think of a reason to tell them why I had to leave home in the middle of a vacation.

I wanted with all my might to go and find Duncan. It wouldn't be easy, killing him. But I would do it for Alex, as he had asked me that day: now I actually understood what he had meant when he had asked me to kill Duncan.

The first two days I spent in the house, walking around like a bear with a sore tooth, irritated and frustrated, completely impossible to be with. It was only after my dad hinted at my difficult mood that I realised quite how badly I had been behaving. So instead of being frustrated all the time, I decided to go out into the veldt and awaken my powers. I was uncertain about doing it, about testing it, but it was high time and it was an emergency.

I climbed over the back wall and walked deep into the veldt at the back of my parents' house. It was quiet, except for some night birds and a cricket. I sat down on the rocky ground and listened. I wasn't sure how I would hear the earth, whether I had to wait for a voice or what. But I was determined to listen.

Then, after I had almost fallen asleep, I figured that it might help if I made the contact area between myself and the earth bigger, so I lay back and stretched my arms and legs out to touch the ground. I closed my eyes again, and I listened. I concentrated on the wind, to hear if I could make out a voice; then to the birds and even to the little cricket.

I fell asleep more than once, and only gave up when my roaring stomach overwhelmed the sounds of the bush around me. I'd try again the following day.

The next day, I decided to talk to the Earth. Maybe I had to tell her that I was there or ask her a question? I mean, I wouldn't necessarily know that someone wanted to talk to me just because they sat silently in the same room as me, would I?

So I greeted her. "Hello, Earth."

Silence. Birds.

"It's me, Valerie."

Silence. Birds.

"I want to have a conversation with you. Would you mind saying something?"

Nothing. It wasn't working. And I felt like a moron talking to a stone.

I sat down on the ground again. I had to try a different approach. Maybe it had something to do with my emotions. Benjamin had said that the glow worked like that, brighter with strong emotions. The healing had happened when I was afraid and hurt.

I closed my eyes and concentrated. I thought of how I felt about betraying my friends. It was still a sore point and compunction clasped its hands around my heart.

I had almost forgotten about Earth and our attempted conversation when I felt the ground tremble beneath me, slightly but definitely. My heart raced excitedly, it was working! It wasn't my imagination, I was sure. Emotions were the key to this. Earth responded to my emotions.

Then I imagined how I'd hate Duncan if he managed to kill Alex. I tried my best and visualised myself into the situation, seeing Alex's lifeless body and Duncan standing over him.

The earth trembled again and the wind blew stronger.

This time, I was over the top with joy. I wanted to scream out to the world how magical it was, the feeling of being connected to this wonderful planet, being able to hear her and have her respond to me.

Obsessed with experimenting, I practised until the sun set. The reaction became stronger and stronger. By the time I left for home, the area around me was clear, with only bare ground remaining. The wind had taken out all of the grass, rocks and trees around me, as if a small hurricane had swept through.

Dad approved of the practising. That was the only way to sharpen my sword, polish my shield and prevent people like Duncan from killing me with a forceful transfer, he said.

But the next day I left a little later even though I burned to go out. My mom didn't like me going out in the bush so much, and I guessed she wanted to spend time with me. She made me breakfast as she always did, and then asked if I wanted to go shopping with her. I agreed, especially because I had neglected her: the vacation was only for one short week and it was Wednesday already. So we were off to our local town mall, a few minutes' drive away, in their old new BMW.

"Valerie, tell me about varsity, dear? There have been so many _things_ going on, that it must be difficult to keep up with the normal side?"

I smiled. So many things had happened that it was difficult to separate my life from the _things_. Even my friends and my study material revolved around the _things_.

"Mom, to be honest, the most normal thing about my first three months of varsity was the initiations. They actually left us alone; they only attacked when we irritated them or didn't follow their silly rules. Like poor Betty."

I told her about the incident with Betty and the statue and Mom seemed to enjoy the story. Then she turned bitter, suddenly. It wasn't like her at all.

"You know, Valerie, I have prayed throughout my entire life for you to be spared this... this nonsense. I consider myself an open person, but really, this is too much. It was difficult for me to accept your Dad's issues, but now it's you too. Don't get me wrong, I love you very much. But I wish I could take a knife and cut your link from you," she said heatedly.

I felt shocked and hurt by her words.

"How can you say that? It's nothing less than holy, being a part of the universe in such a unique way."

Her hands went up from the steering wheel and she started to say something, and then stopped.

"Any boyfriends on the horizon?" she changed the subject.

I didn't take the bait. "Why do you hate it so much, mom?"

She was close to tears. "Long story."

"No, tell me, please?" I really wanted to understand her point of view.

She swallowed before she started. "Apart from the initial shock, I was okay. I was getting used to it and accepting it day by day. But the day they called your father up to be the Ruler," she said with rolling eyes, "was the day that everything changed."

"Dad was the _Ruler_?" I asked astounded.

"Up until two years back, yes, he was the Ruler of the Galaxy," she said scornfully.

"But what's the matter with that?"

"Every single time there is a possible threat, we have to pack up and leave. But that didn't bother me so much. The problem was the dangers involved. Do you have any idea how it feels to constantly worry about the safety and wellbeing of your husband? To know that anything can happen anytime?"

"Were there so many fights?" I asked, astounded.

"No, dear. There weren't that many fights. Ambassadors get jealous. Rulers have authority. And authority can bring you everything from wealth to... well, you can even call up an army and take over the world. Your dad had a bounty on his head for a long time."

It made sense to me. It was an aspect that I hadn't thought of before.

"I felt so bitter the day we came to visit you in hospital, when Dad noticed your glow for the first time. I couldn't stay there and... and look at you. I can't see the glow at all, but just knowing it was there was the worst thing. It's bad for a mother's heart, knowing her little girl is a part of this dangerous mad world."

"And now Alex has that bounty on his head." I said thinking out loud.

"Old Alex, he is such a good boy. I felt sad when he took over from Dad, you know. He had so much to learn still, he was passionate and excited, but so green," she sounded nostalgic. "I urged them to wait with the inauguration, but they wouldn't listen. He had the strongest link of all on Earth and it only made sense to them to crown him."

I thought about how he had admitted to making mistakes the other day in the safe house. Alex wasn't blind to his own weaknesses, that I knew.

"How do you know Alex, mom?"

"Alex's father was Ruler before your father. They attended meetings together every now and then. Your father had a similar role as the Reds today."

I could see that, my dad being the army/bodyguard guru, sneaking around during meetings.

"Anyway, Alex's father died in a car accident. We believe he was murdered, but we couldn't find the murderer. He may still be in our midst."

It was a scary thought, and I immediately started to think about all the possible suspects. There had been hundreds of people at the meeting on the mountain the other day and any one of them could be guilty.

"Dad insisted that Alex attend meetings, so he always picked him up and they went together."

It was a strange thought, Alex and my dad having such a strong bond.

We turned into the underground parking lot at the mall. We struggled to find a parking. It was busy, as the school and varsity vacations always were during the same time of year. The movie cinema had discounts for the school children during these vacations and that meant they were there constantly. I know, I movied myself during holidays until I couldn't sit anymore.

We dodged our way through herds of children to the grocery store. It took a long time, as my mom had to stop every now and then to greet the little ones who knew her from school. She clearly loved them. And I knew that she loved her job as well.

We finally reached the grocery store, poorer than before, as she bought one little herd a round of movie tickets. It was odd, since she'd never done that before. But I figured it was because she either missed me or used them to replace me. I was concerned about the money though, if there were enough left for groceries.

"Mom, if dad was Ruler, and you said they have access to wealth, why did we always live on the breadline?"

"You know your father. He believes that earning an honest penny makes the world go round. And I agree completely. A leader has to set the example, be fair, consistent, steady, caring. And I'm proud to say that your father was all of these."

Yes, that was my father, exactly that. I felt extremely proud of him for the person he was. _If only_ _normal humans selected leaders based on character traits instead of the ability to talk straight_ _through the public's head,_ I thought.

We did the grocery shopping and I had to admit, it was good being normal and around my mom. On our way back to the car, my mom started her questions again.

"So, any boyfriends on the horizon?" she asked.

This time, I couldn't simply ignore her.

"Not really. I had a terrible blind date, but it didn't work out. Now it's only.... I have a crush on someone," I admitted.

She grinned widely. "And?"

"And nothing. He's taken," I answered abruptly.

"Okay....But don't give up yet. They're not taken until they're married."

"Guess so." I didn't want to reveal too much; she knew Alex and I wouldn't want him to know whilst he was in a relationship with Lisa.

We reached the car and packed everything into the trunk.

They way home was easier, the radio was turned up and we listened to music. I still felt conflicted about my mom hating the strange side of me. It was fun being around her today, but it felt as if she only loved one part of me.

When I finally slipped away after tea, I felt excited to see what the afternoon was going to hold. I was fluent already with the wind and the trembling, but surely there was more.

But I went home shortly before sundown, heavily disappointed, having acquired no new skills or powers. There had to be more than wind and trembling!

I was getting really worried; I didn't know when either Alex or Duncan was planning to attack. My gut told me that I had to hurry, time was running out. And next week classes were starting again, and I'd be in the city, far away from a clear patch of nature. I had to figure out a way to speed this up.

The rest of the week with my parents proved to be even more frustrating and the wind reflected that. Nothing new happened. No new power.

And not even a single syllable from Earth.

We drove back to varsity on Sunday, leaving early as my parents still had to drive all the way back.

***

Chapter 16 – Inertial guidance

I spent Sunday afternoon in my room. I started with the drawers in the closet, first unpacking, then cleaning, then folding and reorganising. After the closet, the bookcase with all my textbooks and files and notes got a turn. Every single square millimetre was wiped and polished. It was the first real good spring clean since I'd moved in and it was long overdue judging by the layers of dust everywhere.

Somewhere in my heart, I recognised that I was cleaning and reorganising my room because it was time for a change. I had to make room for the new me. I would be a new Valerie once I had killed a person; the old me would be dead. I had to start accepting her, the new Valerie, the Valerie who was capable of killing another human being. They say all is fair in love and war, and this was a case of both.

I had to start hardening myself, trying to care less about Duncan. But it was difficult. I kept imagining over and over in my head how those grey eyes of his would turn lifeless in front of me, his body become motionless.

Lisa arrived just in time, before I went completely crazy. Apparently the Reds were on their way and she wanted us all to have dinner together.

I stopped what I was busy with and went downstairs with her.

We greeted one another and took our seats, but the table was quiet and the atmosphere tense. Their moods were dark as well, and I knew it was because of Alex's announcement. They all blamed me, or at least it felt that way: I was the selfish jerk at the table. What made it worse was that none of them said one word about it.

The gall in my heart spoiled the taste of the food. I fled, after a so-to-say wordless dinner, back to my room. Why they had even bothered to invite me to lunch, I couldn't figure out.

Later that evening, there was a knock on my door. I was in bed already and didn't want to open up, but then thinking it might be Jennifer, I did. To my great disappointment, Benjamin stood on the other side of the open door.

I groaned inwardly. I felt guilty towards him as well, as he and Alex were good friends.

"Hey, Val, what's the matter with you?"

"Nothing," I answered quickly. I wanted him to leave. "We aren't allowed to have boys in our rooms. How did you get up here without being noticed?"

"I used my power," he answered with a straight face.

A little light went on in my mind and I invited him in. We sat on my bed, facing each other.

"Hey, maybe if I can understand how you use your power, then I might try to use mine. Don't you think it will work?"

Why didn't I think of this before? I should have asked my dad the other day! Then maybe my practising would have turned out better.

"I suppose so," he answered half-heartedly.

"By the way, what power did you use?"

"I ...uh...I can change form," he stuttered uncomfortably. It seemed strange, him looking uncertain about his powers; didn't he trust me?

Then he corrected himself, and spoke fluently: "I changed phase, to liquid form."

"What? You turned _liquid_?"

He grinned at me. "It's slow, but you gain momentum after a while."

"That's a nice one!" I exclaimed, surprised at the thought of Benjamin turning liquid and flowing over the floor.

"Yep, that's how I survived the accident the other day."

_Of course,_ I thought. It made perfect sense. I was feeling better already, just being around Benjamin. He had the ability to make me feel more comfortable in my own skin.

"Then why didn't you do it the other night when we had to use the emergency stairs?" I asked.

"The others don't have the same powers. And it's slow, but I probably would have transformed if we were caught."

"So tell me now, how do you do it?"

"I've been able to do it for as far back as I can remember. And there's no specific way to do it... let me rephrase, I don't know how to explain it. It's no different from telling my arm to move," he looked at me intently. "I'm sorry, Valerie. I'm not helping here."

My disappointment was obvious.

"Why do you want to know all of a sudden? You're not planning to challenge Duncan on your own? You are, aren't you? That would be suicidal! You cannot do it without support. What if he's waiting for you with an army?" He sounded really upset.

I had to think fast, I didn't want him to know. He'd stop me.

"No, it's not that. I'm curious, that's all. Everybody keeps telling me how powerful I am and now I want to see why."

He looked at me like he didn't believe me.

"Promise me you won't?" he asked, his green eyes glowing.

I remembered my previous promise to him, one that I had broken in the blink of an eye. Yes, they'd said it was manipulation, but to be honest, I hadn't even cared that I'd broken it.

But he couldn't know the truth.

"Promise me, Valerie?" he insisted.

"But what's the big deal anyway? I won't die if I try. You said it yourself?"

"No Valerie, the decision has been made. Opposing Alex's decision is punishable by death. He is the Ruler, you know? So promise me, please Valerie, please promise me?" he begged.

"Fine, promise." I was a jerk. Officially. It should be my second name: Valerie Jerk Stanton. But I had to try, even if I died in the process. For Alex at least. Then Earth would get a new ambassador and all would be safe.

"I care, in case you haven't noticed. I care for you," he whispered staring deeply into my eyes.

At first, I thought it was worry on his face. But the look intensified. _Oh, my_ _goodness_ , I thought. _I should have read the signs better!_ I swallowed. I didn't want to lead him on, but I didn't want to ruin our friendship. At least he didn't judge me for opting not to kill Duncan. Actually, he did much better than that, he supported me, understood it in some way.

I flew up from where I sat on the edge of the bed.

"I think someone is coming," I lied in a whisper.

He frowned at me, as if he knew that I'd lied. He stood up wordlessly and stared at me.

"See you tomorrow," he promised and walked out.

I was in shock. Benjamin obviously had intentions other than what I'd thought. To me, he was an older brother, nothing more: a wonderful older brother, the brother that I've never had, that I'd wished for so million times, for as far back as I could remember. I didn't want to lose that aspect of our relationship.

The phone on my bed pedestal didn't look as innocent as before.

Monday was stressful. I was nervous being around Benjamin now. And I worried about the test results coming out. We received the first lot back in second period, environmental sciences. It was almost okay according to my standards. I scored 62%. The rest of the class didn't do much better, making my results seem good.

I saw Benjamin for the first time during lunch. He walked in as I walked out, pretending that I wasn't there. I felt hurt but relieved that he didn't stay for a chat.

We didn't get any other results back the rest of that day.

Jennifer arrived only after dinner, practically glowing with happiness. She didn't want to say why, but she promised to show me later the week.

Tuesday was a little better; we got back our astronomy and algebra results. I scored 70% and 76% respectively. I was very proud and sent my mom a message there and then, in spite of the fact that Lisa did miles better than me, 92%, in algebra.

Benjamin wasn't around at all.

In the philosophy class, I was surprised to see Professor Rosenbaum again. He didn't say why he was there instead of Professor Greenwald. He held the class's attention for a few moments when he handed out the marked tests, calling each student by surname to walk down to the front to fetch them from him.

When he called my name, I got up from my chair in the middle block and walked down the aisle.

"I want to see you after class, please Missy," he said.

The class roared with laughter and whistles and _ooh's_.

With a bright blush and the little pride that I had left, I took my seat again, too embarrassed to worry about why he wanted to talk to me.

"Don't worry about it, everyone will have forgotten this by the end of the period," Lisa whispered in my ear.

I managed a semi-smile at her in return.

It took until the middle of the period before my cheeks were at 36.6 again. I still had my test paper in my hand, and now turned it over to see the mark. I had scored 85%.

The rest of the babbling floated right over my head, and apparently everyone else's too.

I stayed behind when the class ended until the room was completely cleared. The earlier unwanted attention was still the spindle of my thoughts. I frowned as I walked up to the Professor.

"Sorry about that earlier, Valerie," he said.

I stared back at him, surprised that he knew my name. It was odd for any lecturer at a big university, not to mention a guest lecturer. I didn't answer him. He wanted me to say it was okay, but it wasn't. It wasn't high school any more, Professor or not.

"I asked you to stay behind because you are the best in class. Do you find the work interesting?"

My irritation disappeared like mist under the sun. It was wonderful to hear. I did study hard, and now I was reaping the fruit.

"Thank you, Professor. Yes, I do find the work interesting. Not everything, to be honest."

"You had an opinion in your test that very few people agree with, you know?"

I immediately knew what he alluded to: Benjamin's explanation about everything being alive, but to different degrees of intelligence. There was nothing about it in the study material, and I had wanted to see what the erudite would think of such a way-out theory, based on the points awarded for that question.

"I believe so, yes, Professor," I answered carefully.

"Do you, now? Do you really, really believe that?" he asked, studying my face.

His question stunned me. I wasn't sure if I really believed it. Not that everything was alive. Yes, the Earth responded to me. But I wasn't really convinced about _everything_. Rocks? Water? It seemed a little too fantastic to be true.

He continued without waiting for my answer. "Let me give you my take on this. You need to look beyond the physical. See the life radiating from each being. Recognise it, acknowledge it, and believe it."

I was speechless. Was he hinting about ambassadors?

"And another thing. Thoughts are energy. And the more you believe a thought, the more energy it has. And that energy can convert to any form of choice. It can even manifest..."

He was talking about my powers! He was telling me to choose the form of the power! My heart pounded so hard with excitement that I was afraid I would miss his words.

"Keep doing well; there are bursaries available for next year."

He turned and walked out, not as wobbly as before, leaving me standing there.

I got back into gear a second too late and ran after him. I wanted to ask how he knew it and who he was, but he was gone. Only Benjamin was out there, sitting on a little bench close by, waiting to have lunch with me. I walked up to him with lead in my shoes.

***

Chapter 17 – Bushbaby

A bushbaby is a small, nocturnal ape with very large eyes.

The first thing that sprang into my mind was explosions: I wanted to explode things. It always looked impressive in movies. And very powerful.

I was anxious to try it out, but couldn't really attempt it around the dorms, not based on the results that the previous attempts had on my immediate environment. What explanation could I possibly offer if only my room was smashed up like a hurricane and nothing else destroyed?

On top of that, I would have to do any experimenting at night or on a cloudy day, out of fear that Alex would see and also guess my plan.

My heart felt tender at the thought of him. He was willing to die to keep me from doing something against my will. What a tremendous Ruler he would have made. And he was giving that up for me as well!

About two weeks later, armed with a printout from Google Maps, I sneaked out of my room around two o'clock on a Saturday morning, using the main stairs as the Reds would be watching the emergency stairs.

I waited patiently for almost an hour, watching for Peter outside. The chance was there to try to slip away, but the Reds were good, all of them. He'd probably follow me and sabotage my whole expedition.

It was easy. I made sure that Peter saw me and walked to my car and climbed in. Moments later he knocked on my window as expected, frowning down at me.

"Valerie. Where are you going?" he asked when I rolled down the window, a slight trace of irritation lurking in his otherwise monotonous voice.

I didn't back down.

"I'm off to the quick shop around the corner. You know, to get a ....huhh huhh," I cleared my throat, pretending in my best acting performance ever to be embarrassed.

"No problem, but I'll have to come with you," he answered, not even a little intimidated.

I tried a stronger approach. "Peter, I'm out of tampons."

His eyes opened wide and he stepped back from the car. Males didn't like any talk in that direction.

"I'll be ten minutes tops," I tried to put him at ease.

"Keep your phone close," he answered as I switched on the engine.

I drove away slowly, but sped up as soon as I was out of audible range. Ten minutes were ample time to get away. And the sun was down, so Alex wouldn't be able to see where I was.

The closest nature reserve was an hour's drive away. The reserve and the university had an arrangement of some sort, which also made it easy for me to arrange, under the semi-false pretences of being a student doing research on bushbabies, for a ranger to open the gate for me. I'd never been there, but what I had seen on the web site looked convincing and they had contact numbers and everything.

The lady that answered the phone didn't ask any questions, but I had to agree to a string of rules. It was nothing more than the usual stuff: staying within your car at all times except at indicated places, no feeding animals, blah blah blah. I didn't even read through it all. A signature was required and that I gave with a smile.

The ranger waited for me in an old Land Rover in front of a majestic wrought iron gate. The gate was huge, at least three meters high, with a steel buffalo standing out in the centre of the left panel. In the centre of the right panel was the name of the reserve, with the letters cut out from the sheet metal.

The ranger greeted me in high spirits, a tall neat young fellow, and naive even to my standards. He was very proud to be getting the little reserve this type of attention. He kept asking questions about the research and the article. For a moment or two I had to think fast; he knew a lot about the vegetation and the wildlife and wouldn't stop asking questions.

He also wanted me to mention his name in my article. He was hoping to study some day as well and was absolutely convinced that having his name in an article would improve his chances of being accepted.

I followed him with my station wagon up to the closest observation point. It wasn't the most likely place to find bushbabies according to him, but he looked a little intimidated when I insisted otherwise.

It seemed as if he was dedicated enough to stay with me for the night; he simply wouldn't leave. But, to my great relief, he started yawning after just a few minutes of sitting motionless on a bench inside an enclosed observation point, looking onto a big water hole.

He excused himself, but gave me his personal phone number. I waited for three minutes after the rear lights of his Land Rover disappeared before rushing outside.

The feeling of being alone out there in the bush was amazing, exciting; I felt carefree. Yes, it was dark, with all types of wild predators around. But I wasn't afraid of them. I couldn't explain why, but I simply was not afraid.

I was afraid though, of all the other wild predators of the universe: the emotional predators, the ones who fed on others with jealous teeth and selfish claws. These predators were the worst of all, creating a path of destruction to their desires. Life and death was nothing more than a merciless continuous cycle, completely untamed, wild.

The sound of an owl broke my trance and suddenly I didn't feel as relaxed as before, I was anxious to get this done with so I could go out and do what I had to do.

It was easy to believe that everything was alive in the faint shine of the crescent moon. I felt it, the strong vibration of life, all around me. It was easy especially because the sense of mysteriousness and magic raised the hairs on my neck.

At first, I focused on a small rock next to my feet. I bent down and picked it up to take a better look at it. It was no different from all the others, a typical bushveldt rock, sharp edges, rough surface, one of millions lying around.

On the other hand, there were also millions of stars above, and they were also alive; I really believed that. Why couldn't a rock then also be alive? It might not have enough intelligence or energy for its consciousness to manifest into an ambassador, but that didn't mean it was dead, did it?

This time, I looked at the rock with new eyes, with believing eyes. But it looked the same, no matter how long I stared at it. And it was getting harder to keep the belief high: true to human nature, I doubted quickly.

With determination, I gathered myself. This rock was alive. I believed it. I closed my eyes and kept repeating it over and over in my mind: _This rock is alive, I believe it._

It happened suddenly.

One moment I was chanting with my eyes closed, the next moment I could literally feel the energy radiating from the rock in my hand. I opened my eyes and dropped it to the ground in shock.

It was still the same old rock, it certainly looked the same, but its surface was vibrating. It vibrated so fast that the surfaces and edges actually appeared solid.

I stared at it for a long time, letting my emotions run wild.

I believed in the unbelievable!

I loved knowing that my faith was strong enough to open this world up, to really see God's creation in its full glory.

My eyes moved to a bigger rock close by, and its surface also looked blurry from the vibration. As did the tree, the grass, the water and everything around me.

Everything around me, every single thing, big and small, was vibrating.

A tremendous sense of awe filled me and I felt humble at the sight. _If only_ _the rest of the world could see_ , I thought. _No one would ever think of polluting again, of hurting this magical planet of ours._

I knelt and dug my hands into the sand, feeling the vibrations, feeling more and more connected by the minute. Not only did the sky have a new dimension for me, but also the entire area around me.

The sky was already colouring in the west, and I didn't have much time left.

I still wanted to explode something, and I picked the rock that I had in my hands earlier. It was easy to believe, now that I had access to the Earth's energy, that it could explode.

I visualised a flow of energy from the centre of the Earth to the rock, and then opened my eyes to try it.

The rock vibrated more violently and slowly grew red. I could feel the heat from where I stood, almost three meters away. The red turned brighter, then almost white and suddenly there was a loud crackling explosion. Pieces flew all over the place.

I felt guilty for killing the little rock, but close examination of the smaller pieces revealed that they were vibrating as well, and I felt better about it.

Without a doubt, this was the real thing. For the first time, I'd accessed the Earth's powers. What I'd done at my parents home was nothing more than the weather responding to my moods.

I was about to try again on a bigger rock, when headlights lit up the entire area from behind me. Frightened, I turned and raised my hands. Four lights from two cars pinned me to the spot. My phone was still in the car and I had no option but to stand still.

Both cars stopped mere centimetres from me, one black, one white.

Oh, great! Not again! Caught out. How had they found me?

Alex climbed out of his white Lexus, glowing slightly. And he had brought along his entire entourage. Benjamin, Peter, Wilfred and Leo climbed out of the black Merc. I was in deep trouble: I'd betrayed Peter's trust, which was ultimately Alex's trust. I strongly doubted if Peter would trust me again. I'd have to think of a new plan next time.

I had to admit that his glow was impressive; it suited Alex, confirmed his authority. It also made him look even more like a Greek god. He walked up to me with quick strides. Benjamin also came closer, but stopped about half-way; the other three Reds remained a little distance away around their car.

"Alex!" Benjamin called warningly.

I drew a quick breath of nervousness. My heart pounded harder than usual, whether because of Alex's anger or the mere sight of him, I didn't know. He didn't bother to greet me, just grabbed me by the upper arm and dragged me into his car. I felt so intimidated by his white glow and his immediate closeness that I didn't try to protest or resist. My mind wandered to the other day when I had to wake him, how close he was then...

He opened the door for me and then held out his hand.

"Car keys?" he spat the question out.

"Uhh... ignition," I answered quickly in a shaky voice, feeling slightly lightheaded.

He pushed me into the passenger's seat and then bent over to put my seat belt on for me. I let him, partly because of him being so close and partly, the smaller part of me, because I didn't want to test his endurance any further.

He closed my door and I slowly released my breath. He climbed into the driver's seat but didn't bother to buckle up himself.

In the side mirror I noticed Benjamin climbing into my station wagon. At least they didn't plan to leave my car alone in the bush but had the good manners to drive it back.

We flew off, leaving a dust cloud the size of the Hiroshima atomic bomb. I worried about flying stones hitting my car and the Merc.

We reached the gate in milliseconds. But where the impressive gate had been a few hours earlier, there was now nothing left. The gate was completely missing, just the posts standing. Then I noticed something shiny in a tree. The gate wasn't missing; it was lying in smithereens all over the place. The closest tree had a piece of the buffalo's head stuck in a branch. Judging from Alex's glow, he had blown up the gate, using his powers.

I had to toughen up; the bollocking of my life was waiting. And for once, it wouldn't come from my dad. If only it was from my dad!

The tyres screamed and the car swayed slightly as we spun onto the tarred road. The other two cars were out of sight, probably because they were being driven by half-decent human beings instead of screaming along like a maniac. My fear slowly changed into irritation and then exasperation as we tore through the night.

I shouldn't have sneaked away, that was a given. But I wasn't a child and Alex didn't own me, no matter how infatuated I was with him.

The wind streamed lightly along the car. Alex didn't seem to notice. We drove in absolute silence; there wasn't even tyre noise in the fancy vehicle. car.

But a few minutes later, the clear sky of earlier turned dark. The wind wrapped more strongly around the car.

"Alex, you're going to get us both killed. Slow down and drive decently, please?" I said asked in a pretend blasé tone, feeling displeased with him for being so reckless.

He ignored me completely and suddenly I got angry.

"Alex, I'm warning you, slow down or I'll jump out."

Luckily he didn't call my bluff, but my little threat had the right effect.

He hit the brakes, hard. So hard, that the seat belt pulling on me actually hurt. The car came to an almost immediate stop in the middle of the road.

He stared out blindly into the rising sun ahead of us.

"Have you gone crazy?" I asked with a slightly raised voice, furious with his little temper-tantrum. I had turned in my seat, facing him.

He slowly turned his head towards me, fire burning in his eyes.

"No," he bit the words out. "Have _you_ gone crazy?" His voice was icy, so soft it was like screaming.

My blood boiled. The cheek! This following around had save me a time or so, sure, but this was getting out of proportion. I felt claustrophobic, especially because of Benjamin. I was apparently Alex's 'responsibility' as he had put it the other day, but it felt like I was his prisoner.

Oh to heck with that! I _obeyed_ not out of respect necessarily, but because I had feelings for him. And he probably knew it and was taking advantage

"Just because I'm in love with you, doesn't mean that you own me!"

Crikey! Did I say it out loud? I was so deep in thought, about what he had said - I really hoped that I had not. I waited nervously for his reaction.

His eyes opened wide. Then he blinked.

***

Chapter 18 – Star crossed

The look on his face spoke volumes.

My heart sank to my shoes. What was I thinking of? Alex was the Sun, the Ruler of the Milky Way! And he had a girlfriend, who happened to be my planetary sister. Maybe if he didn't have Lisa I would have had a chance, one less obstacle in my way. But she was there, and she was also my best friend, the best friend that I'd ever had.

I didn't have the courage for the rejection, so I unbuckled the seat belt, opened the door and jumped out. The Reds were close behind and I knew I wouldn't need to wait for long.

"Valerie, get back in the car!" Alex demanded. "Valerie? Valerie!" he called angrily after me.

I took the longest strides that I could manage to get away from him. In return, he revved the car as he spun it round and drove up behind me.

"Valerie, get back in the car! Right now!" he yelled again after me as he watched me walk away from the tarred road. I turned a deaf ear and walked even further away. The only thing stopping me from jumping the fence and running back into the veldt was the electric game fencing.

"Valerie, please get back in this car," he said, a little more controlled this time. "Please?"

I ignored him completely. It was too humiliating to even face him, not to mention driving back to varsity all the way with him. Oh, how cross I was with myself. What had possessed me to say out loud that I was in love with him? If it was possible at all to kick myself, I would have done it there and then. Where were the Reds? Surely they couldn't be that far behind? I looked up and down, I couldn't even remember from which way we'd come. The sun was peeking out over the mountain range on the horizon. And over the distant little hill an old truck, straight out of the ark, came crawling in our direction.

I would get on the truck, even if I had to hike. Alex could trail me or watch me using his powers, I didn't care. But I had to avoid facing him ever, ever again, at all costs.

I guess I had pushed him beyond his limits, because he hit the brakes and jumped out of the car. Maybe he was afraid that I'd jump on the truck or draw too much attention. His dark face, thunderously dangerous, with the white glow around him growing bigger by the second as he made a beeline for me, made my heart miss a beat or two out of fear. He moved ran full speed, and all I could do was run as fast as I could.

"Valerie!"

It felt so childish, running away as if we were playing cops and robbers like six-year olds. Even though Alex looked scary, I knew deep down that he'd never do anything to hurt me. Actually, I was running away from my own fears, rejection being the biggest one on the list of the moment.

I glanced over my shoulder and what I saw, made my legs go even faster still - Alex was catching up on me.

"You are forcing me to do this," he whispered in my ear, right next to me.

From the left behind me: his strong arm locked around my waist and yanked me hard. We lost our balance and fell forward. I could see the ground getting closer and closed my eyes; lifting my arms to brace for impact as this bushveld ground was hard and rocky. I knew what was coming: I could feel the burning from the stripped skin already.

But the impact took too long to materialise. And we weren't that far from the ground! It didn't make sense to me. So I opened my eyes, and the sensation of falling vanished. I felt as light as a feather.

"What happened?" I asked, totally disorientated. "And where are we?"

I could barely make out Alex's face, everything was bright, bright white.

This time, he ignored _me_.

"Alex, _what happened_? _And where are we_?" I demanded.

He waited a moment before he answered.

"Give your eyes a moment to adjust, you'll see just now," he said with a chuckle in his voice.

Something big and round was taking shape in front of me, slowly. I screwed up my eyes to make out what the object was. It grew clearer after a moment and I made out colours – a sphere of green and white and blue and black.

Then I recognised it, and what I saw made me pull my breath in sharply. We were looking down on Earth!

Alex's arm was still around me, and I grabbed it with both my hands and clung to him frantically, hanging on for dear life.

He laughed out loud.

"Don't be afraid. We're safe. We won't fall," he said patronizingly, a laugh in his voice.

"How..." I gasped for my breath, looking down on Earth. We were incredibly high and far away from its safe and solid surface. How I longed for the impact, that nearing ground of a few moments ago. "Alex, how did we get here?" I asked, panicked for explanations. Without thinking about my actions, I slowly wiggled around to grab hold of him with both arms, out of pure fear. "And how can we breathe? And where is here? Why aren't we falling? Can you fly, is that it?" I asked, still peeking down.

"This is ...our Lagrange point," he answered slowly, wrapping his other arm around me as well.

_And now I was supposed to suddenly understand everything_ , I thought, and then bent my head back to look up at him. He was a lot taller than me.

He was smiling down on me, with his baby blue eyes, killer dimples and golden brown skin. My heart sped up; my mind distracted by the sight of him, my fears evaporating like mist under the sun. I realised I felt completely safe with him, in spite of being suspended somewhere in space.

He was waiting for me to respond to something that he had said. Alex had always had that effect on me, of freezing my brain, and this time was no exception. For the umpteenth time in my life, I stood wordless in front of him - I couldn't get my mouth or lips to move.

"I've told you before about the Lagrange point. It's the gravitational balance point between Sun and Earth? The balance point between... you and me?" he added, still smiling.

I nodded slowly, hypnotised by his eyes.

He started explaining, and I saw his lips move, heard the sounds. But the moment was too big. Here I was,

in space,

alone with Alex,

wrapped around him like a pair of tights.

Somewhere in the middle of his explanation, I started to listen to the sounds from his mouth and his words registered on me.

"No, I can't fly, I'm not Superman. But having the sun as an energy source does have its advantages. One is able to travel on a beam of light," he continued, as if talking to himself. "The best thing about this travelling is that time stands completely still. You don't even need oxygen. It's physically impossible to fall, you know? I can't go far, of course, I need to stay within Earth's gravitational field for my link to remain intact," he said, sounding a little bitter at the end. He paused and then smiled again. "So what do you think?" he asked, looking around.

The sky around me had never been so glorious. The universe stretched out in front of me, with billions and billions of little sparkles everywhere, crispy clear without Earth's atmosphere dimming the view. Everything frozen in time, beautifully. It was possible to clearly distinguish the densest band of stars - a cross-cut of our home galaxy.

"I love that," the words popped out before I could think. I was immediately reminded of a few moments back when I had told him that I loved him as well.

I couldn't take it back, what I'd said, even if I wanted to. No, it was out in the open now. I might just as well admit it. And apologise for it.

The blush was too strong to hold back. I couldn't look at him any longer and I turned my head away, to the Earth far below.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier in the car, about...," I cleared my throat, very uncomfortable in my skin, "about revealing my feelings about you." I let go of him and then feared the possibility of falling again. "Can I let go? I mean of you? I mean, without falling?" I realised I was already free of him and I wasn't falling. It felt strange, the weightlessness, slowly floating away. But I didn't let it distract me. Instead I continued, to get it over with.

"I mean, it's not that it's not true... it's just that... well, I shouldn't have said it. I mean.... Lisa is my best friend and all.... And actually I am a terrible person... I mean... I did betray her and now I'm interfering in her relationship and..." I sighed and drew a long breath. I hated being on the spot. Then I collected myself. There was no point in shying away from it any further; my deepest feelings had already been revealed and I stood emotionally stripped naked and vulnerable in front of Alex. At least the apology was over and done with.

"I'm sorry, Alex. I shouldn't have told you," I concluded firmly.

This time, he didn't respond.

"Are you finished?" he asked eventually, when I looked up at him briefly.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt unbelievably hurt and disappointed at not getting the answer back from him that I had hoped for. But I wouldn't show him. It was one thing for him to know how I felt about him; it was another to show him how hard his rejection was.

I blinked until all the tears were away. Then I swallowed hard before answering.

"Yes," I said, doing my best to hide the emotion.

"Lisa isn't really my girlfriend," he blurted out. For the first time since I had known Alex, he looked uncomfortable. Or was it frustration? I couldn't tell.

"What?" I exclaimed, completely astounded.

"Never has been," he confirmed just as I started to doubt the credibility of my own ears.

What was he telling me? A small spark of hope ignited somewhere. But why would they pretend then? His reaction towards my deepest revelation wasn't exactly positive. Maybe they'd pretended to keep the floozies away.

"Then... then why...?"

He didn't give me a chance to finish my question.

"I'll answer your question, but I have a few first. Why did you run away, after everything we've been through?"

Oh, this man was driving me crazy! I had just apologised to him about my feelings and he didn't even bother to accept it. Instead he'd put his interrogation clothes on. No, I was certain, there wasn't weren't any hope left, not even with Lisa out of the picture. He didn't feel the same way about me.

"Alex, that is my business and mine alone," I answered, closed shut, very hurt and sorry for myself.

"Is it? Is it really your business?" he asked, sounding a little irritated himself.

"Yes, it is," I answered heatedly, pain encouraging me and growing into anger. "It is my business alone. I didn't endanger Earth or any of you in any way. I belong to me, you know? For the first time in my life, I am old enough to make decisions for myself, to try things and to make mistakes and learn from them. Yes, I have misjudged a few characters in the process. But still, those were my risks to take. You do not own me, Alex. And by the way, I don't give a damn about your supposed responsibilities," I yelled at the end. "I will not have you giving your life to keep me from doing something against my beliefs. If I try to kill Duncan on my own, it's my life that I'm risking. Not Earth's or anyone else's, mine," I said a little calmer this time.

"But what about the people that care about you, Valerie? Don't you think it would hurt them if something happens to you? Your mother, your father, your friends?" he paused. "Me?"

"Well, I'm sorry for that," I answered, cornered.

"Valerie," he held his hand towards me, grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. Then he put both his arms around me and looked intently down on me.

I was too hopeful to move and too afraid to stay. But against my will, my hopes were rising again. I sucked in my breath and held it.

"Val, Lisa pretended to be my girlfriend to explain my frequent visits to your dorm."

My heart pounded so hard that I was afraid to miss what he was about to say.

"Valerie, I have a huge confession to make. The first time that I saw you...," he closed his eyes as if thinking back. "Your dad didn't want you to see me, but I did. You were on your way to a hockey match; one of your friends came to pick you up that Saturday morning. We came back from a meeting and your dad thought that you had left already. I hid in the car and peeked out the window and I saw you there, not that far from me. I have to be honest, I knew you already - your dad bragged a lot about you. But when I saw you Valerie, I fell for you, right there and then."

He looked at me with fire in his eyes. "I've followed you ever since, using the sunlight, watching at a distance, waiting. I've been watching you since that day, every single day, except for rainy days."

This time, there was no holding back the tears. They flowed freely over my eyelids and floated in perfect little spheres in front of me. Alex cared for me as well! I didn't deserve this, this perfect life.

But then his expression darkened, the fire in his eyes grew cool.

"But first," he said heavily, "I have to warn you. You need to know the negatives of our being together. We will need always to keep this discreet. I never expected to be anything more than your protector and I was glad to have the opportunity to be your friend. I vowed never to tell you how I feel because I wanted to spare you this... this yoke." Alex was stuttering, clearly frustrated.

I didn't feel nervous about what he was about to say. As long as Alex was with me, I'd have the courage to face anything. Nothing else mattered anymore.

"There is no easy way to put this. Traditionally, ambassadors are sorted into social ranks. See it as the aristocracy against the lower class. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but galaxies and clouds are of highest rank, followed by stars and black holes, then planets, moons and asteroids; normal humans don't count in the hierarchy." He paused, looking at me searchingly. "Having a relationship across the line is risky. If we do have a relationship, and word gets too far out, we will have to face serious consequences. It may even mean exile. Why do you think Lisa never attends any meetings? Being the Ruler, I was the only ambassador in our galaxy that had access to the council, so I was in a position to hide things away and I opted not to enforce the rule. Now the new Ruler will have access to the council and decide."

It didn't sound like that big a deal, but it wasn't very nice to be told that I was of the lowest social order! Alex was out of my league it seemed: it was like having a high school crush on someone way above your grade. But it didn't bother me that much – I had just found my biggest crush ever. No, I smiled to myself, it wasn't my biggest _crush_ ; the biggest _love_ of my life, yes.

"But why?" I asked. Surely celestials and ambassadors were intelligent enough to respect all living beings equally? I was disappointed with the silly social bustle; I'd expected more of them.

"Believe it or not, but it's actually to protect the lower orders - you know, from energy surges. We may exploit the distance advantage of your link should it ever be necessary."

I frowned at Alex.

"Imagine it like this: the distance from Earth to the celestial body is like the size of a vehicle, say a small car. The energy of the celestial body is the size of the engine. A white star has an engine of a jet, a planet of a car, a moon maybe of a scooter.

Now say for instance a white star causes a far away moon to surge during an energy transfer, it would be like putting a jet engine into a Mini-Cooper. We need to always protect the lower orders and the social orders were born out of this."

There was a long pause while Alex stared at me.

"Valerie Stanton, I'll have you know that I'm very much in love with you and have been for a long time. So think about this, think again, and make sure of your feelings. Because if you agree to this, then I am here to stay. Do you still feel the same way?"

My beaming smile was a dead give-away. Alex pulled me closer to him, both his hands pressing firmly against my back. He bent over and kissed my forehead softly. I closed my eyes, concentrated on nothing but him. He moved down and briefly kissed the tip of my nose.

Then he kissed my lips, hard and passionately.

Right there in space, at our own Lagrange point, the entire universe was smiling on us. It felt safe knowing that they weren't watching, that time stood still only for us.

Alex kissed me like I had never been kissed.

"We can't stay too long," he interrupted suddenly, "this is really draining on me. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to keep time still. I can't hold it any longer."

"We'll have to practise more," I joked, flushed from the kiss.

"I love you Valerie. I'm so happy to have found you," he said, his hand against my jaw line, his lips in my hair.

"Me too, Alex. I love you too," I smiled from ear to ear.

"Brace for impact, we're going to fall now," he warned.

I glanced at the stars again and it was an image that would stay with me forever. The sensation of falling came over me as suddenly as a thief in the night. Nothing more spectacular happened than a bright flash, a blur of everything around, and then we were back on Earth and falling.

It all happened so fast: we were in space one moment and maybe a split-second later we'd fallen. I felt as disorientated as before and stayed put on the ground, hands and knees burning from scraped skin.

Alex was quicker than me and helped me to sit up next to him, facing the sunrise. The strange events of a moment ago, travelling on a beam of light with Alex, made the first rays of the sun seem magical as it peeked over the mountains. It also made everything around seem magical, as if everything was holding its breath waiting for the sun to rise. In this light, Alex was even more magical than before; the pedestal he was on in my mind towering high above the clouds.

***

Chapter 19 - Enlightened

"Sorry 'bout this," he sincerely apologised as he pulled up each leg of my pants to take a look at my injuries. He softly kissed the wounds one by one, starting with my left knee. My skin tingled all over; then he moved to my right knee, my right elbow and palms and the hairs in my neck stood up. Finally he kissed my mouth, softly, as he had done with all the wounds.

His right elbow had been skinned too, but he downplayed it. I didn't want to offend his male ego, so I left it there.

I was still in disbelief about Alex. Every single touch was a reminder that I wasn't imagining things; that he was really there, with me, kissing me. He pulled my head under his chin and held me to him as we sat on the hard ground next to the road. I loved him being so close to me.

"It's fine. You can run me over any time if you promise to kiss all the places better," I whispered to him, still very shy.

"Let me fix this," he said, pushing me slightly away from him. He looked guilty as he noticed blood seeping through the skin on my knees again.

The old truck was almost next to us and we both turned away from it. It crawled past us, but I didn't mind, Alex was with me. He waited for it to pass before he got up and pulled me up as well.

"Stick out your palms," he ordered.

"I still don't know how to do this, you know? What if I have to heal you someday? Shouldn't you teach me how to do this?" I asked as he stuck out his palms to face mine.

He stopped what he was about to do and stared absent-mindedly in my direction for a moment or two before answering me.

"It's actually a very personal thing, transferring energy and sharing a link. They say it's almost like se... uh.... never mind. You get a glimpse into the soul of the other person; it fills your mind. You need to be emotionally ...uh...prepared for it."

"It sounds interesting... would you let me try?"

He ignored my question. "I believe it's to protect the healer, knowing the person you heal. You weaken yourself healing another. Never do this if you don't trust the other person completely, okay?"

"Let me try," I asked again. I was very curious to see what he'd meant. And to get a glimpse into Alex's soul. After all, he'd healed me already, as if the weather didn't reveal enough about my emotions!

"Usually it only works if both parties envision it, although it is possible to force someone if they don't resist. The most important rule is never to touch, and to be as quick as possible. Touching divides the power equally but also shares the links, like the jet engine and the scooter. And unless you're of equal power, it can be fatal. So close your eyes and lock your hands - you'll feel the magnetic field and know when it's in position. You ready?"

I smiled. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Valerie, don't let the feelings and emotions overwhelm you, just keep your focus on the flow of energy," he warned as he lifted his hands up to face me.

I nodded. It sounded simple.

"Here goes," I said, slightly uncomfortable. He made it all sound like a significant event.

I lifted my hands up in his direction. A strong, pulling sensation drew my hands immediately into position, my palms facing Alex's palms, about two centimetres apart.

"That was easy," I announced, relieved.

"Now we have an energy link between us, and the Sun with the Earth through us. This is dangerous, Valerie, having an open link: a surge could kill us both. Always get it over and done with as soon as possible," he warned seriously.

"I'll try to be quick," I answered, staring into his eyes, eager and nervous for what was coming.

"Close your eyes and envision the flow of energy from the centre of the Earth to you, through your hands, to me."

"How will I know when to stop, Alex?" I asked.

"You probably won't recognise it yet, it takes practice. It's where your emotions change from the other person's to your own. I will tell you, so listen carefully. You need to keep your focus, no matter what you feel, okay? Listen for my call," he urged.

I nodded again and then closed my eyes. I pictured Earth in my mind and the flow of energy from the centre through all the layers from liquid to solid, right up to the surface below my feet. I imagined it flowing into my feet from the surface and my legs and feet felt warm, blood rushing in the skin of those areas, feeling as if it was alight. I concentrated on the physical feeling, astounded by the sensation and effect that my thoughts had on real life. As it moved up through my body to my hands, my entire being felt alight.

"Keep focus," Alex urged again.

This time I braced for the emotional jump, from mine to his. It wouldn't be too difficult to recognise the difference, I thought.

I imagined the warm energy in my hands jumping over the distance into Alex's hands.

My heart missed a beat, and I pulled in my breath as something opened up, like bursting the membrane of a soap bubble. His emotions came flowing in as the energy flowed out. My mood changed very slowly. The nerves disappeared and I briefly turned cheerful before getting slightly irritated. Somewhere deep below, something bothered me. It didn't feel exactly right. Not long after, irritation grew into exasperation, and then into anger. I was overcome with rage, the worst that I'd ever felt, completely overpowered by it. But it grew on me, it became me, it overwhelmed me.

"Valerie!" I heard Alex's voice yelling at me. "Valerie!"

I didn't want to stop. I liked it, I wanted more. It was an addiction, this feeling.

From what I could hear, something was happening behind Alex. It made me even more anxious to keep the link open and the hatred flowing in. I pulled stronger and stronger, to draw energy from Earth and to keep the link open. Alex was clearly fighting it; I could sense that he wanted to break the link. In that moment, I knew I had it in me to kill someone and I was in a blue funk about it, so much so that I opened my eyes.

The eyes that stared back weren't baby blue in colour, but green.

"Benjamin!" I exclaimed.

The sight of Alex's angry face next to Benjamin gave me the strength to break the link. I simply lowered my hands and the link was broken. It was easy to regain my focus, as he looked even more angry than when I'd run away from him. He was glowing, but with an intense blue shine.

Benjamin was smiling back at me. "Hello, Valerie."

"What are you doing? Did you take over the link?" I asked, surprised to see him where Alex had been when I closed my eyes. He was uncomfortably close to me and I stepped back but lost my balance. Benjamin was instantly behind me to steady me and to support my weight.

"Wow, that was exhausting!" I exclaimed, dizzy with the rapid jump in mood. The only residual feeling inside me was a slight level of irritation, but it could have been because Benjamin's hands were still holding me. At least I was me again, and I was very relieved about that.

"I'm interrupting," he declared, self-satisfied.

"I can see that, Benjamin. Why did you do that?" I asked.

I couldn't understand why Alex stood motionlessly and wordlessly, staring at me and Benjamin.

Benjamin let go of me, suddenly and stepped over to take a stance next to Alex.

"Alex probably didn't tell you this: once you have healed someone, you are _bound_ to that person in more than one way. For one, it amplifies any feelings that you had towards that person," Benjamin explained looking a little uncertain. He fidgeted with his hands before continuing. "Yes, I have healed Alex more than once in my life and we are the best friends ever. But, Valerie, I cannot bury my feelings for you. And to be honest, I couldn't allow Alex to have that strong an advantage over me before you knew how I felt as well."

We were good friends and I loved his company. Benjamin was like my older brother. And this would probably ruin things forever. Friendship didn't exist between a man and a woman - that was clear as daylight to me.

I was sad to do it, but I didn't have the heart to hear him stutter through a declaration of love just to be turned down afterwards.

"Oh, Benjamin...." I started, but he held up his hand.

"You may or may not feel the same, but I have a proposal, so hear me out?" he begged.

He took my silent stare as an affirmative.

"I'm one of the nearest Reds, and like all the stars in the sky, I've been watching Earth. I'll admit that I love Earth, I love the idea of you, the power you have. But apart from all that, I love _you_ , Valerie. And somewhere, while being tasked to guard and protect you, I fell in love."

"Benjamin!" I reprimanded.

"Right, I had to get it off my chest, it was probably the best shot that I'd ever had. My proposal might sound violent to you, but I believe it's the best way to solve this in a fair way. Surely you are a fair person, aren't you, Valerie?" he begged again.

I nodded, realising he was manipulating me.

"So promise me this one thing, Valerie? Promise me this one time, and keep it Valerie?" he demanded.

I had no choice. Alex violently shook his head, but I had no choice. It was Benjamin, dear and caring Benjamin. It couldn't be that bad, could it? My heart felt so sad for him, that I wanted to give his this one wish, if it would make him feel a little better.

I nodded again.

"We will fight for you. And you can heal us both, but whoever your heart tells you to, first."

"NO! No, no, no, no!" I yelled. "There is absolutely no way! Forget it, Benjamin," I was really upset.

Benjamin waited for me to calm down.

"You promised?"

"You tricked me!"

"You promised!"

"I've had enough. I'm going home," I turned on the spot and started to walk away to the car. We weren't in the eighteen-hundreds, for goodness' sake! I couldn't believe his silly proposal, fighting like four-year-olds over a _toy_. And worst of all, _I_ was that toy!

"Valerie, as the new Ruler of this Galaxy, I order you to come back!" he yelled at me furiously.

I couldn't believe my ears. I stopped in my tracks and turned back.

"What?"

"Yes, didn't I tell you?" he asked, feigning surprise. "It must have slipped my mind," he added, sarcastically. I shook my head.

"And as the new Ruler of this Galaxy, I shall keep you to your promise. We shall fight for your hand and you will witness it," he scowled.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

"Don't ask this of me, Benjamin, I beg of you? Don't," I begged through the tears. "Please, please, I don't want this?"

His expression turned bitter and he whispered: "For once, you will keep your promise to me."

I shook my head and then bowed it down; I couldn't face him any longer.

"But I'll give you this: you may choose to heal whoever you wish," he said before turning away and walking back to the old truck that had passed us moments ago.

***

Chapter 20 – Natural selection

It was the middle of the mid-term exam, full moon outside, but overcast.

It was time.

I'd made my peace with the task ahead, that of witnessing the fight. Alex had assured me over and over that it would be okay, as long as I didn't interfere or try to stop them.

Thinking back, I should have recognised the warning signs right there and then, but I didn't. Alex had been angry with Benjamin trying to take over the healing, but the problem was that this anger had amplified in me, and it was still lurking inside me. I'd been a little surprised at the strength of it, but I should have been absolutely terrified. at it.

In some way I saw it as a blessing – I still had to prepare myself for Duncan's murder, and this hatred would probably give me the strength to do it. I'd gotten to know and accept the new Valerie, the killer Valerie. I wanted her around, but only until the job was done. Perhaps witnessing the fight between Alex and Benjamin would toughen me up even more.

Duncan wasn't in the foreground of my or Alex's minds – the fight was. Everybody else was getting nervous because Duncan hadn't attacked yet, but everybody else didn't know about the fight. Only Alex, Benjamin, Lisa and I knew, and Lisa only because I'd confided in her. She didn't act surprised at my and Alex's secret relationship, but she was keeping her distance from him.

Jennifer had noticed the separation, but for once didn't comment on it. She was too absorbed in her own feelings and her new boyfriend. Wilfred had offered her a sincere apology without telling her what'd happened – he obviously couldn't tell her the truth – and she had accepted it. She loved the firm approach that he took with her. She'd tried to tell me a million times already about him and kind-of blamed me for not being around much to talk to.

I hadn't seen Alex around a lot lately – he'd kept himself busy preparing himself for both the exam and the fight. I'd told him over and over that I'd heal him first, but he still took the preparations seriously.

It was very difficult for Alex, I'd noticed his paler than usual face, his tighter than usual knuckles, his dimmer than usual eyes and his weaker than usual smile. After all, Benjamin had been his best friend for a long time. Somehow I got the feeling that there was more to this, but he wouldn't say a word. Every time I'd prodded in that direction, he'd pick up the guitar and start playing. And I'd lose myself in him again, in his eyes, his music, and his charm. The last time I saw him before the fight, he'd played me Kings of Leon's _Closer_ , which had moved me to tears, which he kissed away one by one...

Alex came to pick me up around ten that evening - he waited for me in the parking lot, slightly glowing. When he saw me, he jumped from the car and opened the door for me. He was dressed in his usual, stylish way but darker than always – he had on a modern, black collared shirt that showed off his blonde hair and tanned skin beautifully, and a pair of jeans.

"Hey," I grinned, happy as always to see him, in spite of the terrible prospect of the fight.

"Hi, Valerie," he said as he hugged me before I got in.

"Alex, I am really, really sorry that it has come to this," I apologised for the umpteenth time.

"You know I don't see it like that, Val, it's not your fault. Benjamin wants this," he said softly.

We were silent in the car, each to our own thoughts. I didn't take in much of anything around me, not the road, not the music, nothing except Alex next to me. He was in this predicament because of me – on his way to fight his best friend because of me, or rather for me.

They'd agreed to meet in the log cabin in the mountains, the one Alex had taken me to on that weekend when I'd run away from my parents. Each minute felt like three, and by the time that Alex had parked the car, I was tautly overstrung. I had a nagging feeling deep inside that this night was going to be a bad one.

No, a _terrible_ one. A tragic one.

"It'll be fine," Alex tried to calm me or maybe himself. He pressed my hand and then got out. As I climbed out, raindrops dripped on my head.

We walked up the stairs to the porch and entered the log cabin, to find Benjamin waiting inside. He was having a cup of coffee, appearing eerily relaxed.

"Valerie, Alex," he greeted as we approached.

"Bennie," Alex greeted, sounding as sad as I'd seen him many times over the past few days. I was wordless - tension and emotion constricted my mind and ability to speak.

"Let's do this," Alex urged.

"Do you want something to drink first, Valerie?" Benjamin politely offered, as if nothing was wrong.

I shook my head.

"Let's get going then," Benjamin agreed. He put down his cup and walked out to the porch, Alex and me trailing behind.

"Val, you can wait up here. Don't mind the rain, just stand under the roof's overhang. You'll have the best view from here," Benjamin instructed.

I did as he'd said, almost going into shock for what was about to happen.

Alex and Benjamin walked about twenty paces away from the cabin. They were clear as in daylight in the full moon shining down on them.

"Do you really want to do this, Bennie-boy?" Alex asked as they stopped.

"Take your stance, Alex," Benjamin warned. "I love her too, and this is my only chance," he apologised, sounding slightly saddened himself.

"May the strongest...no the best man, win," Benjamin said as he lifted his hands towards Alex.

Alex had tried to prepare me for this, explaining that it wouldn't be a typical bar fight, and that I'd have to keep a safe distance not to get pulled in by the strong and weak nuclear forces and the gravity and the magnetism and a lot of other things that I couldn't exactly remember then, partly because I didn't want to think about the energy being unleashed. But all of his attempted preparations and warnings weren't enough.

I couldn't identify the sound at first, a continuous, loud crackling. It came from far away, somewhere in the mountains and became louder and louder, closer and closer. With it, the smell of burning filled the air. It tasted like death in my mouth, reminding me of the destructive power of a wildfire.

Then it happened: the sky started glowing right above Alex, in the form of a cloud. It became redder and hotter, in spite of the pouring rain. I could feel the heat against my face as it grew hotter and redder still. And then, suddenly fire rained down on him, like hailstones from the sky. But it wasn't the normal type of fire because the rain didn't do a thing to it.

The smell of the wildfire changed to that of scorched hair and I felt weak with shock, about to vomit, seeing Alex burning in front of me. He screamed in pain and then stopped abruptly, concentrating. The fire slowly lifted from his skin, and moved away from him in the form of a sphere, as if an invisible shield was pressing it away. Alex balanced the fire away from him and then launched his own attack, a quick one.

The clouds thundered and with an ear-splitting crack an enormous lightning beam filled my sight, a black one, like at the party. It was headed straight for Benjamin's face.

Benjamin deflected it with ease, and laughed at Alex, a bitter, unhappy laugh.

"Is that the best you have?" he asked Alex. "You better step it up a notch, or you'll lose this fight, _friend_ ," he scowled.

I knew Alex didn't want to hurt him, but I also knew that Alex didn't want to lose the fight. Not because of his ego, but because that was the only way that Benjamin would leave me alone and accept our relationship.

"I don't want to hurt you, Benjamin," Alex warned. I immediately understood the promise behind the threat.

Benjamin laughed again.

It was getting too much for me, this fighting. I didn't have the stomach for it; I had fooled myself thinking that I'd be able to kill Duncan. Killer Valerie, my eye! This fight had only just started, and it was already intolerable. How was _I_ ever going to be able to fight?

The sky flashed brightly, turning night to day, and Benjamin fell to his knees. I didn't see anything, and didn't understand the sudden expression of sheer pain on his face.

"Stop! Stop this!" I yelled.

The next moment an invisible force pushed against me, hard, almost like a hurricane wind. I lost my balance, and the wetness contributing to my clumsiness, I fell back and tumbled down the stairs. My head hit the ground first with a loud ' _clunk_ ' sound, and then the rest of me tumbled over.

Black spots danced in front of me, but I fought it with all my might. I had to see what was happening. I ignored the throbbing egg on the back of my head, the pain in my forearm and the nausea pressing on me and got up, slowly.

Neither Benjamin nor Alex had noticed, they were too absorbed in the fight. But I was weak and disoriented by the fall. It made me lose both my sense of time and my balance. Through the black spots, I tried to keep my eyes on Alex and Benjamin, and I stumbled forward to try to part them. I fell again, and then crawled on.

"Stop this," I yelled, my mouth opening slowly.

I didn't see everything that happened; I could only make out an occasional thing here or there. And I didn't know how long the black spots danced across my eyes.

One moment Alex was facing Benjamin and Benjamin was screaming in pain; the next Benjamin was gone and Alex was facing Duncan!

My mind was playing tricks on me, I thought. I must have hit my head very hard.

Rain turned into hail, deafening their conversation.

"Duncan?" Alex yelled. He stopped his attack immediately, out of pure surprise. "Where's Benjamin?" he asked, panicked. "Murderer! I'll have you killed for that!"

"Hold your horses there. I didn't kill Benjamin. He died in the car crash, the night that Valerie slipped away from him," he answered calm as a millpond, not the least bit intimidated by the pain of a few seconds ago, or by Alex's tirade.

They both suddenly noticed me, crawling on hands and knees towards them. Alex rushed to help me up and then took up a protective stance in front of me. Duncan sneered.

"Do you know what his dying words were, Valerie?" he asked smugly, laughing at me. "He kept saying over and over: ' _She promised she would stay close to the dorm'_. The best part is that I actually told you who I was, Valerie. I told you I could change form, remember? That night I visited you in your room?"

I recalled it; he had actually been unnerved by my question at first. I thought it was strange of him. Then the realisation pushed that thought away.

No! Benjamin dead! No! He had died because of me! Alex would never forgive me!

"You arrogant rogue!" Alex thundered, furiously angry, making even me jump through the dizziness and black spots and all.

"Calm down there, Mr. Powerful. Do you know who you're talking to? I'm the new Ruler of this Galaxy, you know?" he jeered.

"Aaaah!" Alex yelled again, sounding desperate for the first time.

"Hear me out first, before you decide I'm the terrible person that you've always made me out to be."

"I don't have a choice, do I?" Alex answered shortly, glowing as brightly as I'd ever seen him.

"I do love Earth. And Valerie. I am obsessed by her, I'll admit. I'd do anything to get her and keep her. And I'll do anything to remove all obstacles out of my way. And that's my only crime. Love."

"That's not love, that's jealousy! And if you really believe you love her, then why did you hold her hostage and mistreat her? You even assaulted her?" Alex countered.

"Yes, I'm very sorry about that," he said looking genuinely sorry. "But you need to understand, it was all part of the plan. When Benjamin died in front of me, it was my chance to get close to her. Those Reds running around her all the time made it difficult. The more she hated Duncan, the easier it was for her to grow fond of a helping, caring friend, you understand?"

"You hoped the bond that forms from healing would be enough to tie her to you? And now I've messed up your little plan again? You underestimated _my_ power for once!" Alex gloated.

"Don't get me wrong, I still want to kill you and actually now I can, being Ruler, having all the extra power and might at my possession. But I won't kill you. Rather I'll send you away; give you the worst punishment of all – exile. Just think about it: you'll be all alone, somewhere in space, trapped forever. Forever looking down on the two of us, together."

Sensation was coming back to me, and my sight was clearing. up. I stood motionlessly next to Alex, but I was slowly returning to myself, feeling better. I signalled this to Alex by squeezing his hand, hoping that he'd understand my message.

"Please try," Alex threatened. "But know this: if...no, _when_ the council finds out about your treachery, you'll be severely punished, even by death."

"I have a better plan. Let's finish this, once and for all," Duncan invited.

"Sounds like a brilliant plan," Alex agreed.

"Give me your best, Mr. Bigshot," Duncan mocked.

Duncan stood there with his arms next to his sides, like a soldier called to attention. He closed his eyes and took the beating, without retaliating. Alex launched one attack after the other, switching between powers and coming at him again and again. He grew brighter and brighter with each attack, seeming to become more and more furious.

And somewhere during the fight, I started to feel sorry for Duncan, for facing the wrath of the powerful sun, being a moon himself. And like he'd said, all he'd ever done wrong was to love Earth and me. The dream in the hospital came back to me, and I remembered the fear that I'd felt then for Duncan's life.

Alex took revenge for me, for himself and for Benjamin, he took out all his worry and fear and stress on Duncan, acting like a madman, glowing brighter each second, hurting Duncan every way he could, while Duncan appeared totally defenceless.

It looked like the middle of the day instead of the middle of the night.

Alex had stopped using his powers now, and had begun physically beating Duncan.

I suddenly realised that Alex's glow wasn't brightening because of his fury, but rather because his link was being exceeded. And I remembered my father's warning, that Alex would have to draw energy from the sun, more than his link could handle, and in trying to kill Duncan, would kill himself in the process.

And as Alex shone brighter and brighter, the terrible realisation hit me: I was exactly where Duncan had wanted me to be. We'd fallen straight into his trap.

I went cold with fear. I stood paralysed, desperate to save the love of my life but vacillating as I watched them fight. Duncan flashed me a smirk every now and then, as every tick of the clock forced more life out of Alex, bringing him closer and closer to his death. It was happening right in front of me, and something just snapped in my mind.

Suddenly I knew what I had to do: I had to draw power from the centre of the Earth, to heal Alex and to kill Duncan myself. It was the one thing that Duncan had wanted from the very beginning – the shift in balance, to throw Earth from its orbit.

It would be a risky move, but I trusted my instincts.

Without the slightest hesitation, I planted my feet firmly on the ground. My hands jumped into position, instinctively knowing exactly where they needed to be. I closed my eyes and I saw the raw energy in the centre of the earth, fighting to get out, strong and wild with fury. We were completely in sync, Earth and I. She was just as upset as I was.

The wave of feeling rose slowly, the soil growing warmer and warmer around me. And when it reached me, my legs faltered and I fell to my knees. It was nothing less than pure, raw energy and it slowly pushed up through me, drawing every bit of energy from my body so I could barely stay on my knees and let the energy flow into my hands. My arms shook heavily, almost out of my control. Even my ears buzzed.

Only the thought of Alex gave me the strength to hold on, to let it continue through me.

"Valerie! Valerie, no!" I heard someone yelling, faint and weak.

I didn't pay any attention to the call. All I could focus on was that I had to save Alex, and I pushed even harder for the wave of energy to grow onwards.

As the energy left my hands, the enormous strain eased suddenly, even though it was still flowing as strongly as before. I even had enough control now to open my eyes.

But the moment that I opened them it became clear why the strain had eased up.

Lisa was next to me on her knees as well, completely relaxed, with her eyes closed. And for the first time ever, I saw her glowing: very strongly, a bright golden colour.

The colour was strange, matching her blonde hair almost perfectly. But the gold was turning blue, quickly. I followed the edges of her glow and then realised why.

One of Lisa' hands was gripped tightly around mine. We were sharing a link!

I tried frantically to remember what Alex had told me about sharing links, about why it was dangerous and what would happen. But my mind was blank; there were too many things going on around me. I concentrated, and gasped as I remembered.

By sharing an energy link with me, she was balancing the transfer of energy in such a way that Earth could not be overpowered. But she was risking her own life and planet to do it.

The situation seemed even worse than before. Lisa was possibly saving the entire human population, Earth and everything on it, but she was making the consequences even worse. Now I had to find a way to save not only the love of my life, but my best friend in the world as well. If I did nothing, they would both be gone. Out of my life. As if they had never existed.

_No!_ I wouldn't allow it, not both of them!

"Nooooo!" Duncan yelled as he suddenly registered our shared connection.

For the first time ever, Duncan was intimidated; the smirk now replaced with an expression of shock. That one word gave me hope. Not much, but just enough.

In front of me, the energy was flowing from both my and Lisa's hands into Duncan in the form of a beam that looked like lightning. It flowed through Duncan into Alex: Duncan didn't have a chance, it was too strong and I knew it.

Lisa's body next to me was shaking violently. Her eyes were still closed and her face was expressionless, but her cheeks were a bright red. Her glow was now completely blue, but it was flickering.

I knew that was a bad sign.

I dropped my hands.

I knew it would be safe, as I felt the presence of the three Reds behind me.

Lisa, Alex and Duncan fell to the ground, like puppets cut loose from their strings.

Lisa's glow flickered, fading, fainter and fainter. And then she disappeared. One second she was on the ground, the next she was gone without a trace.

And this is where I am now. I wish I knew more about where I come from.

I want to know everything; I want to know why I exist, why I am here.

If only I could remember more about those first three years of my life, maybe all of this would make sense to me. Why am I on Earth? Why was I ever created?

After all, there is no way that a baby could survive out in the wild on its own. Surely someone must have protected me and kept me alive while I was weak and small and vulnerable?

I cannot remember anything out of the ordinary from my life before I was adopted. I've tried a million times to think of something significant, without any success... nothing that could explain any of this, or even give me a clue to the mystery of how or what happened that brought me to life.

Why am I so unique? Why me? What makes me so special? Why am I the most special one, out of three hundred ambassadors, and out of billions of celestial bodies?

Or am I?
