"Why duh fook ask babies stupid shite lit
Yer gettin big arent ye?
As if the wee coonts gonna be
Aye Moira yer spoot on am on de protein."
I'm gonna be showing you Scottish people Twitter.
Now th-this is the most normie video we've ever done.
On the Scotts?
They're one of my favorite types of Scottish people.
My mother is Scottish.
I saw a lot of people, um, recommending we did this in the comments of the previous video.
Yeah, so I've tried to gather the least fucking
normie ones, but there's- they're funny, but they're like, normie, y'know?
"It's 2017, and today, ah hurd de DJ play Gangnam style, then roight before de drop, he shouted
Y'KNOW WHAT TAH DO
Aye, mate. Fookin' KILL MUHSELL."
Who's Masel?
"Hate them cyclists dat take up da whole road 'n act like they're remakin' Tor duh France,
you'll be doin' Tor duh Hospituhl if ye carry on."
"THEY ANOONCED DE PILOT'S NAME O'ER DE INTERCOM
*intense laughter*
N A MAD JOONKIE NEXT TO ME WENT OHH FOOK OFF, AV HAD 'IM BEFORE
AH SWEAR HE'S A SHITE driver."
*continued intense laughter*
I love the way, Jack, you go,
"AH SWEAR HE'S A shite driver."
"AHH FOOK OFF"
"Ah, fooks sake mom,
das hardly ah scarecrow,
ah'd prolly pump 'er."
Well, I mean, no one else has done Scottish.
AH WUZ BARN IN GLASGOW
*Indian accent*
"Fooks sake mum, dats hadly uh scarecrow,
*Ugandan Knuckles*
"FOKS SAKE, AH'D PROBUBLY PUMP 'ER."
"Fooks sake, who'da throw uhway ah 4 packa hedgehugs
'n leave one innit?"
What are you?
That was so Indian
"Cheek to call anycoont ah roaster
yer hoomin goth sittin' en yer gaffs
goond aboot somecoont usin' de word
chinky like ye've nevar used et
before ye easily ahffended
mutant stick
tah heedbootin wolls ya Slipknot
season ticket holder."
*confused laughter*
*finally processed*
*excessive laughter*
They're not from Yorkshire, David.
Can I do that again in the most posh accent I can do?
What's your guys' opinion on like, um, reading out in a really Scottish accent?
Like, a really thick, Scottish accent, or-?
AH 'AVENT GOT AH TAHRGUT
AH'VE DA FOINEST WARES IN DA LAND
*WoW nerds laughing*
AH DUN'T 'AVE AH TAHRGUT
*transcendent voice*
AH CAHNT CAST DAT ROIGHT NEW
"If ah wuz American, this is where ah'd link mah Soondclood, freestyles ah'd dun way in mah da in 2008"
"Is this even English?"
"Ask yer da"
"M-my who?"
"The Who sells Avon in yer house"
*asthma attack*
"Luh-mow the what?"
"AHSKED DE BURD 'N KRISPY KREMES FER 5 NOOTELLA DOONUTS
'ND SHE SAYS 'AVE YE GOT ANY NUHT ALLERGIES?
AY PAHL AHM PLANNIN' SUICIDE BAH DOONUT"
"Never understood why acts at festivals shout are you ready?
Aye, two seconds pahl, ah need to tie mah lace, pause de tunes."
"Joost got 4 drinks at da drive-thru and the guy ask
Do ye want a cup holdah?
Obviously ah do, ya fucking reprobate, am no fucking octopus"
Why are they- fucking Indian, for you, Rihanna?
"Still canny believe the Queen wun that marathun
wee Lightnin' MuhQueen"
"In awe at da size o' dis lad,
*transcendent voice*
A B S O L U T E   U N I T
"In awe at da size o' dis lad,
*inhale 500 gallons of helium*
absoluteunit
"Pure pain when yer headin' tah the toilet in the dancin'
then Abba comes on 'n ye know ye haff tah turn back roond n fookin' piss yerself
on de dance floor, cause ye are the dancin' queen."
"Just found the texts from when I went into labor."
"Jack, me waters joost went, I'm not even fookin' kidding. What the fook?
"OMG what ye gonna do?"
"Jack - ah - ahm callin' mime- granny's- has gone out"
"Ahm tah call the 'ospital
Um, this is panic"
"Chill out fookin' 'ell"
"ME WATERS FOOKIN BURST HOW AHM I GONNA CHILL OUT?"
"Cause I'm sure it'll be foine for fooks sake"
"FOINE? If I'm goin intah laybuh, IT AIN'T BLOODEH FOINE!
Oh sorry, ahm panickin"
"Ah shit, yer water"
"Ah thought you meant like ah tap"
"jack"
"Haha. Sorry. Ah fookin shit."
"Oi, wot fat gimp in mah fookin family did dis?"
"DESGUSTA WHI OAN A YAZ"
"D E S P A C I T O"
"Evuhrycoont shoppin' 'n Tesco joost walkin' aboot 'n a mad trance at
half the speed ov an elderly snail.
No peripheral awareness, no discernable direction,
no lane discipline. It's enough to make ye
*pause*
*transcendent voice*
FOOKIN'
S I C K
"Uni deadlines fast approaching 'n 'ave no fucking clue with the um dread-"
*Ugandan Knuckles*
"DA FAMILY"
"IT IS SOMETIMES BETTUH TO DIE."
*Ugandan Knuckles*
Please put the World of Warcraft-
Can you give us a "Glory to the Sin'dorei"?
*echoey Ugandan Knuckles*
(lok'tar ogar)
"Jest fond oot pickles are joost cucumbers shrunk in vinegar,
ah thought it was a actual proper veg-uh-tuh-ble
Da coonts know dis? Ahm ah stupid?
Feel like minds been blown an a dunny been even like pickles"
"Got sum good financial noose today
Wee Afriken boy ah wuz sponsoring has been eaten by a lion"
"Hate these wee pricks, actual sit on your plate and laugh at ye cuz your dinner is shite."
David, what's your opinion on Scottish people?
They're kinda cool, I guess.
*gurgling stomach noise*
What was that, Dan?
