A few weeks ago, I uploaded a video where I talked openly and honestly about
some of the things that I struggle with when it comes to being a minimalist.
That video got a lot of comments from you saying that you can relate, and you were sharing some of those same issues.
So it has been great connecting with you, and if you haven't seen that video yet
I'll make sure to post a link to it in the description.
But this video was very personal and I shared the things that I personally struggle with.
Reading your stories, not just on that video
but on all my minimalism videos over the course of these past two years being here on YouTube
I wanted to discuss the five most common
struggles that people have when it comes to minimalist living.
And of course, also how to deal with them. So that you can get the most out of this amazing lifestyle and
also just beat those roadblocks that might be holding you back. So here we go.
The number one thing that I get asked the most is: How can I as a minimalist
live with someone who is not a minimalist? Or even a
maximalist? So living with people who do not want to adopt that minimalist lifestyle.
So maybe parents, partner, kids etc. And I totally understand that this can be very tricky. If you are on the journey of
minimalism and decluttering your belongings and downsizing, letting things go and also shifting from
consumerism to consuming less and spending less, while at the same time
living with people who keep buying new things and
who just do not want to let some of their things go, even if they hardly ever use them.
So I think two things are very important here.
And the first one is communication. And I know that may sound a little stuffy.
But it's very important. Because if you talk to someone about minimalism and it always turns into a very unpleasant
conversation or a discussion or even a fight, that can never lead to anything positive.
So you have to understand that you cannot force anyone to change their lifestyle and
if you want to find some middle ground
You have to make it appealing for the other person to even think about or talk about with you.
So if you keep the communication open and friendly, non aggressive and do not attack the other person
personally, that's already a good start. And then you can start by explaining why minimalism is so important to you.
So instead of talking about getting someone to get rid of something that's bothering you, don't even start there, start with your why.
Also explain what you're trying to achieve by going minimalist.
So what your goals are. Maybe it's more money left over, and more time, more space, more freedom, whichever one it is.
Start there and explain to them that it's not just about having them get rid of a bunch of stuff.
There's more to it than that.
So be respectful of each other's opinions and tastes. You both have different
values of what you find important and that's okay.
And if you spend a lot of time together
Over time, your values will probably rub off on each other a little bit as well.
And then the second thing you can do is to focus on yourself first.
So you cannot make people join you, but if you show an example
and show them how nice it can be, you might inspire them to follow along in your footsteps.
So focus on your stuff. Focus on the areas in your home that you have control over.
Let's say that you're living with your parents, then focus on your bedroom.
If you're living with your partner, then focus on your side of the wardrobe, etc.
And this will already give you a good feeling of being in control and doing something about it.
While at the same time, showing people how nice it can be and possibly inspiring them.
By the way, if you are experiencing challenges when it comes to decluttering
I have two videos where I share my best decluttering tips and also the biggest decluttering mistakes to avoid.
So I will link them both in the description. Second minimalism struggle that's very common, is dealing with gifts as a minimalist.
So either people in your life who keep giving you things, or
gifts that you have received a long time ago.
And of course
you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. And there might actually be people who really get very upset if you do not accept
whatever it is that they are trying to give you. Or if you declutter something that they gave you a long time ago.
On the other hand
you don't want to have things in your home that do not add any value, and it's annoying if that the only reason that
these items are there, is because they used to be gifts. Two things that are very important here are prevention and also decluttering.
So let's start with the first one. You want to set expectations and again communicate.
So the moment that you want to tell people you do not want to receive any physical items anymore
is not the moment that they are trying to give you a gift. Because that can get really awkward really fast.
So talk to them about it
beforehand. And share how this minimalist lifestyle is making you happy, and why you don't want them to keep giving you things.
Let them know that you appreciate the sentiment, you love them for it.
But you do not want them to spend any money on you or items on you, that you might donate later.
And the second thing you can do when it comes to prevention, is to have something to say yes to.
So don't just say no no no every time.
When you find that you want an item
but it can wait a while, then add it to a list. And then whenever your birthday is coming up or the holidays are coming up
you have something that you can ask people for. And of course also
let them know that you prefer maybe gift cards or experiences or
consumables or that you would prefer to just spend some time with each other. Do something, go somewhere.
It's a lot easier for people to stop giving you things if they have something else that they can give you.
Secondly, decluttering gifts. Now, here you have to understand that the person that gave you something they want the best for you.
They got it with you in mind. And they tried to get you something that you love and you can get a lot of use out of.
And once their part is over, it is now up to you what you want to do with your item.
So if you do not remember all the gifts that you have given to other people
It's okay to not keep all the gifts that you have received. So feel free to give this item a second life.
Don't throw it in a trash if you can avoid it.
But regift it, sell it, or donate it, or even exchange it, or return it, if that's possible.
Because you might be sitting on something that could make you or someone else very happy.
So just accept the gift, take some time to consider it, and ask yourself the same
wuestions that you would normally ask yourself
when you're decluttering. Just forget for a while that this is a gift. And if it doesn't bring you any value
then there may be someone else out there who it can really add some value for.
If people still get upset after you set them down and talk to them about it openly and honestly and shared how you feel
Then there is not much that you can do about that.
You cannot control how other people respond, but if you ask me, it's a shame to not follow in your journey
Just because someone else gets upset.
Let's talk about the third common minimalism struggle, and that is just getting completely overwhelmed by it all or getting lost in the
comparison trap. Minimalism is a spectrum, and you can take it as extreme or as mild as you want to go.
So your house doesn't have to look like this, or this, or this.
In fact, it can look like this, or this, or this.
So if you start to feel overwhelmed by it all, thinking that it has to be perfect or look like a Pinterest photo
Then you can let that go.
I am not the type of person who can live furniture free, or live from a backpack and travel the world. And that's okay.
So I have probably less items than the average person, but there are definitely
minimalists out there who are on a whole different level than I am and I'm totally fine with that. If you feel totally overwhelmed
by it all because there is still so much that you want to declutter and you don't know where to begin or where to continue
on your journey, that's totally understandable, but luckily also fixable.
So the key here is to keep it small and just forget about the big picture for a while.
So focus on the process, instead of the desired endresult. And take action, but keep it small and manageable.
So focus on one area or one category and work from there.
So for example, just do one drawer. And after you're finished with that one drawer
you can either stop for now and just appreciate your newly declutter drawer and do another one tomorrow.
Or you can keep going, if you feel really excited and motivated and you feel like you can go on.
That's fine, too.
But just forget about the desired end goal for a while, and just focus on what you can do right now.
Because big goals are achieved by taking one small step after another.
Next common minimalism struggle is when you're making good progress with decluttering your belongings
but you keep getting stuck on one thing or one area.
And you cannot find a way to sort through it, and you keep getting stuck and hitting a wall. And this may be a
collection of things, or just one separate room that's all out of control, or maybe even
keepsakes from a loved one that you're not using. So letting go of hard things.
Some things are easy to declutter, and they don't bring up any emotion. It's immediately clear if you want to keep them or not.
So those things are easy.
But some things not so easy and maybe you keep going back and forth in your mind the entire time between keeping and decluttering.
Because there are often two ways of looking at it.
So on the one hand, maybe you don't use them that much and they take up space. On the other hand
they mean something to you
or they have meant something to you in the past. And it's really easy to become
disheartened or demotivated or want to quit altogether
if you cannot make a decision about this. One thing that I personally really like about the KonMari method is
that you start easy and you work your way up towards the more challenging areas.
Because decluttering is a skill and like with all skills, practice makes better.
So my first tip here is to leave them for now.
Just leave them alone and go focus on another part of your home instead. Because it's such a shame if you get disheartened or
demotivated, when there are actually other parts of your home where you can still make progress.
So identify the things that you keep getting stuck on, but just leave them for now.
Knowing that you will get back to them when the other parts of your home are finished.
You can also just pack them up in a box and store that box away for now out of sight.
This is what I did with my stuffed animals.
Which I talked about in a previous video. Because this way, they don't clutter up my home for now
And I feel free to take my time and really think about what I want to do with them.
Before I feel ready to let go of them, for which I have received
many many really great options from you guys in the comments section.
So I am sure that I will find a really great option for them to declutter them and let them go. Life is full of
challenging things and no journey, no matter what kind, is always easy.
But it is just really ashamed to give up entirely if you hit a bump. So just acknowledge the bump and deal with it
later.
Maybe even give yourself a deadline so
that you know that you will deal with it later. And go focus on another area of your home where you can still make progress.
Last common struggle with minimalism that people might find difficult is dealing with other people who don't understand.
And managing the opinions of others.
Feeling like you're the weird one for making these choices or dealing with people making you feel like you're the weird one.
With minimalism, you are choosing to live intentionally.
So instead of focusing on accumulating more stuff
which is what most people do, you focus on downsizing and minimizing. And instead of
consuming, you choose to consume less and spend less.
So by doing this, you're not doing what society says is normal.
In fact, you're doing the opposite. And whenever you do things that are a bit different
there's going to be people who don't understand.
So you're making some conscious personal choices about how you want to live your life and how you want your future to be.
There's always going to be people who have opinions about that. And who are possibly not that accepting.
But you have to understand that it is your life. And I know that this is sometimes easier said than done.
Especially if people are very vocal and if they are very close to you, but that is what it comes down to.
Something that I like to think about sometimes is identity. And how, by making certain choices that are a bit different
Other people might feel threatened in their identity. And it's kind of weird
but that's what happens. Because if they see someone making totally different choices than they are, it questions
what they're doing, and it questions their identity and what they think is right. And
most people will be able to deal with that and just think ok, this person is doing things differently. I'm fine with that.
It's not for me, but I accept them for doing whatever feels right for them.
Some people, however
find it very difficult and they're not able to do that. And they perceive it as kind of a threat a threat
to themselves, their person, their identity. And that
is when they will start giving you their opinions or even criticize you
for the choices that you are making. And for me, knowing that it's coming from that place
It helps me to not get too hung up on it, and just let people think whatever they want to think and do my own thing.
I have compassion for them. I know where it's coming from, and I just choose not to let it affect me or my choices.
So what it comes down to is, you do you. And no one can do you
as well as you.
So just try to let it slide, do your own thing and not worry about it too much, knowing where it's coming from.
I have everything you need to know about becoming a minimalist right here.
And right here is a minimalist wardrobe declutter. As always, questions comments conversations down below.
I wish you all a very lovely weekend, and I will see you next week. Bye. Bye
