[CHEERING]
- Welcome back to the show.
Brexit is fast approaching.
I wanted to explain it.
But since everything
is more entertaining
in a British accent, I asked
Amy to explain it instead.
 And I responded, my accent
isn't a party trick, Sam.
 (LAUGHING) See?
It really is more entertaining.
AMY (VOICEOVER): A brief
history of Brexit for Americans.
This is Europe.
You may remember us
from World War II.
After that shit
show, a bunch of us
thought, "What if we
tried working together
and formed the European Union?"
The UK joined.
New industries were created.
And everyone traded freely.
Brits move to Europe.
Europeans moved here
for some reason.
Ireland and Northern
Ireland had an open border.
So they finally stopped
kneecapping each other.
And most importantly, we all
had crazy fast passport lines.
But there was a small group
of "yes" conservatives,
who didn't like being on a team.
And they wanted to Brexit.
Because they missed when
Britain was a brempire
that didn't have to
listen to branyone.
 And we believe in taking
the argument to the people.
And we can win.
AMY (VOICEOVER): The prime
minister didn't want to Brexit.
But he wanted their
support in Parliament,
so he agreed to put their
idea to a national vote,
figuring they'd just lose and
then he'd have more power.
So he reduced this
incredibly complex question
down to an 11-word
survey that looks more
like an RSVP for a wedding.
And with that, everyone
split into two camps.
The leave campaign told
lies on the side of a bus
and blamed immigrants
on the side of a truck--
and, of course, red hats.
And the remain campaign
figured they were fine
and basically took
a very long nap.
And you guessed it.
Brexit won.
[CHEERING]
But small issue, no
one actually knows
what Brexit means because no
one actually expected it to win.
And now this guy
has to figure out
what happens to all of the
trade and industries and people
and borders and the tens
of billions of dollars
we now owe the EU.
But don't worry.
 Brits don't quit.
AMY (VOICEOVER):
And then he quit.
And the leave campaign
never really planned to win,
so they were
absolutely thrilled.
[BUZZING]
 Yesterday, I believe the
British people have spoken up.
And I think we can be
very proud of the result.
AMY (VOICEOVER):
They're terrified.
So their party had a meeting
and picked a new lady leader.
 We will build
a better Britain.
AMY (VOICEOVER): Sure you will.
All you have to do is
unite Britain and negotiate
a favorable deal with
the EU who want to punish
you for voting to leave.
But don't worry.
This is the woman who knows
the meaning of Brexit.
 Brexit means Brexit, and we're
going to make a success of it.
CROWD: Hear, hear.
AMY (VOICEOVER): And no one
knows what that means either,
or even how to say it.
 We will make breakfast--
Brexit.
AMY (VOICEOVER): But
May doesn't care.
She's busy having
the time of her life,
promising Brexit will be easy,
even though she has no idea
how to fix all this stuff.
And rather than
figure it out first,
she decides to pass a law that
triggers the Brexit countdown
clock, which means
May has to figure
everything out by March 2019.
And if she doesn't, we'll crash
out of the EU with no deal
at all, which is very bad.
So the EU stops by
for tea and says,
maybe let's start figuring out
what the hell you just did.
But May's like, not now.
Thanks, love.
Because this cheeky minx
has got a better idea.
She only has a slight
majority in Parliament.
And her left-wing opposition
leader is literally
polling behind I don't know.
So she could call
a snap election.
 I'm not going to be
calling a snap election.
AMY (VOICEOVER):
But then she does.
Because she wants to
consolidate more power.
But turns out candidate May
is terrible at campaigning.
 How do you unwind?
 I like walking.
I spend quite a lot of
time looking at cookbooks.
And I quite like watching
"NCIS" when I can.
AMY (VOICEOVER): Please clap.
And since Corbyn
figures he won't win,
he just promises everyone
everything for free.
Then suddenly, half
the country goes
crazy for some guy dressed like
a dad on a Jamaican holiday.
The momentum grows and grows.
And his party does not win.
But they wiped out
May's majority.
So now no one is in charge.
And she has less power.
[RINGING]
Ring, ring.
Who's on the phone?
Oh, yeah, the EU.
May just wasted months,
losing whatever power she had.
So she finally heads to
Europe to convince them
to let us Brexit but still
keep all of the good stuff,
even though they
absolutely hate us.
[GROWLING]
But May gets stuck
on key issues,
like how to use a binder
and how to get out of a car.
Hello?
I'm still in the car.
Who does the door?
OK, you pull.
Oh, now I'm pulling.
OK, you pull.
Pull it.
I'm-- OK.
Hello, Angela.
Back home, her message
isn't sticking.
And the public has no
idea what's going on.
Actually, babe, trees are the
one thing that aren't fucked.
But if May misses
her deadline, it
could cripple industry and
imports of food and medicine,
and reignite
violence in Ireland,
and strand Brits living abroad,
and spark a global recession--
which, yes, would affect you
guys and, most importantly,
the passport lines.
Apparently, so does May.
Because she just keeps
going back to Europe.
Then, in November,
she and the EU
finally agree to the
meaning of Brexit--
in a 585-page document.
But bloody hell, she's done it.
[CHEERING]
Cue happy dance.
Whoa, no, not that one.
Nope, not that one, either.
OK, that's it.
She proudly boogies
her way into Parliament
to get the final
approval for her deal.
 It is a draft treaty
that means that we will
leave the EU in a
smooth and orderly
way on the 29th of March, 2019.
[SHOUTING]
[LAUGHTER]
AMY (VOICEOVER): Yeah.
They don't love it.
 The ayes to the right, 202.
[GASPING]
The nos to the left, 432.
CROWD: Whoa.
AMY (VOICEOVER): They vote
it down in the largest defeat
in the history of Parliament.
And now she has even less power.
Basically, Remainers think
her deal is too harsh.
And Leavers think it's
too soft, which might
sound like a good compromise.
But remember,
everyone's an asshole.
So here we are.
Wait.
Could they just
decide to not Brexit?
Because like--
 Half the nation did
not vote for breakfast--
Brexit.
AMY (VOICEOVER): Well, yes.
But that would undermine the
very uninformed will of 52%
of the people, who are scary.
And they could hold
a second referendum.
But May would have
to delay her clock.
And what would that mean?
 Any delay is a delay.
AMY (VOICEOVER):
Holy shit, woman.
And this boob wakes
up from his nap
and is like, guys, why don't we
just have a second referendum?
Two and a half years too late.
So now what happens?
Next week, May will
hold another vote,
which means it's Parliament's
choose your own adventure.
Go ahead.
Pick.
Oops, out of time.
MAN: Breakfast?
 Thank you, Amy.
We'll be right back.
[CHEERING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
