We’ve eradicated measles.
Hurray!
Oh, no!
Now there’s no way
I’ll go viral.
Cheer up, Measles.
No vaccine can hold you down.
But everyone will
take the vaccine
and we’ll be locked
up in here forever.
Not everyone will
take the vaccine.
But, Polio, who wouldn’t want
to protect their kids from us
using the most
studied, understood
and effective medical
advancements ever
achieved in human history?
You’d be surprised, Measles.
The human brain’s got a
lot of tricks that make
bad ideas seem reasonable.
Here, let me show you.
Vaccines are dangerous.
My sister’s kids
got sick every time
they got a vaccine.
Oh, I know that one.
That’s called an anecdote.
That’s right, Measles.
People love stories that
confirm their suspicions,
and they can’t help
but remember that story
instead of the
many other stories
with a different
ending, because humans
can’t escape something
called "confirmation bias."
And it works like this.
This one commuter — 
he can’t help but miss
the train.
He’s sure he loses
and he’s never won —
Every time.
Even though it’s 50/50
when he’s gotten through.
The story in his mind
is said and done, yeah.
He tends to count the hits
and dismiss the misses.
A picture forms in his mind.
It fits the frame but the
framer is suspicious,
so caught up in his grind.
It’s natural for
the brain to not
clock the moment he got
to work on time with ease.
He can’t recall the
data that doesn’t fit.
He sees what he wants to see.
But scientists have
been wrong so many times.
And they can’t even
be 100 percent certain.
It’s all just a theory.
They call that the
"perfectionist fallacy,"
where people think that
without complete certainty,
all assumptions are equal.
And boy,
is that wrong.
Well, it’s true there
used to be phrenology.
And remember alchemy was hip.
Eggs were good, then bad,
then good, then bad for you.
Don’t know what’s what.
The facts, they seem to flip.
Yeah!
Darn it.
Yes, it’s a theory, but so
is light, gravity, space
and time.
Evidence and experiments work
to prove it and blow your mind.
It’s hard to comprehend that
science might write a song
and then change the key.
It’s a method to learn,
not just be right.
They see what
they want to see.
But it’s undeniable that as they
increased the
vaccine scheduling,
autism diagnoses skyrocketed.
That logical fallacy is
called "confusing correlation
with causation."
And humans do it
all the time.
When summer’s
burning, ice cream sales —
they go sky-high.
Right beside it goes
the murder rate.
Yeah.
We might conclude that
frozen treats lead us to die,
but that’s not true.
They really just relate.
Yeah!
The human mind is
compromised when
swayed by emotional weight.
When you’re a
pattern-seeking primate,
it’s second nature
to conflate.
The data is so
close that it seems
to prove that A
plus B caused C.
But A and B are
just simultaneous.
They see what
they want to see.
First, you mandate vaccines.
Next, you’re making all
the choices for my family.
Take that "slippery
slope" argument far enough
and I’ll have a comeback.
So you think it’s
healthy to pump
kids' bodies full of toxins?
I’m going to buy that
straw man a drink.
I’m sorry, there’s no way
I’m vaccinating my children.
Oh, it’s happening.
I’m really contracted, Polio.
I knew you could do it.
Well, goodbye, Polio.
Enjoy it while
you can, Measles.
After a few outbreaks,
they’ll try vaccines again.
[choir sings]
