

Copyright © 2015 by Josie Charles

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior express, written consent of the author.

1st Edition Published 2015

Published by: Josie Charles

Written by: Josie Charles

Cover Design by: Josie Charles

Formatting by: IndieVention Designs

Edited by: Ivy Love

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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Published by Josie Charles at Smashwords.com

This book contains mature content and is not suitable for those under the age of 18.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Epilogue

Sneak peek of My Secret to Keep

Acknowledgments
Prologue

I had finally finished my schooling and passed my NCLEX-RN. I have been employed as a full-time RN at our local hospital in the emergency department for almost a year now. I love my job and the people I work with. I also love my patients even if they wear on my patience at times. Damn, I crack myself up. Yup, you've guessed it I'm the dorky girl of the bunch. I love and live life to the fullest of my ability every single day. I have no time to focus on the bad things in life, well, actually I don't want to so I don't. I'm an above average intelligent person but people don't know that. I keep that bit of information to myself. I'm a single and mingle girl. I'm also the clumsy girl, mostly on my own time. Although I have had a few funny things happen at work.

Once, I was going into a patient's room, they had just mopped the floors, as I cleared the doorway I went slipping and sliding, arms flailing, and wound up on my ass halfway under the bed. The patient looked down at me and all I could do was smile. He made a sweeping motion with his arms and hollered 'safe'. We both had a good laugh. From that point on I made sure to put on my work shoes with skid resistant soles instead of my everyday tennis shoes.

My best friend's name is Tasha. She works in the Human Resources Department, I met her when I was being interviewed for the job. We hit it off as soon as we met. You know the kind of person I'm talking about, you say something completely off the wall and they just get it right away. BAM! Instant friends. That's us.

She'll be my neighbor this weekend too. She and her boyfriend Danny, live together in a beautiful neighborhood and when I was visiting I noticed the house next door was for sale, having an open house. I thought what the hell and went in to look around. After five minutes I was in love. I didn't need that big of a house but I wanted it. It has four bedrooms, two and a half baths, an office and separate laundry room. The kitchen and family room have open floor plans, with a huge island in the kitchen. The best part of the house is the in-ground pool with vinyl privacy fencing around the back yard. I can skinny-dip! It also has a two car garage and is in a gated community. So yeah twenty-eight hundred square feet is a lot for one person but I plan on making it a home. That means it will be filled with plenty of friends, fun, love and someday children.

My parents passed away from a car accident a few years ago. I haven't spent much of my inheritance, so, why not buy myself a home? I went to school and bought a truck with the money but so far, that's it. Why rent when I can buy and have an investment? I put an offer in right then and there. It was accepted and the closing was Monday. I'm so excited that I've been shopping for all new everything. Everything from furniture to sheets and rugs for the past month. Whatever is in my apartment now, I'm donating to the local women's shelter.

I'm in the hospital cafeteria having lunch when Tash comes and sits with me. "Are you ready for the big move?"

"I am so ready. Anything I could have delivered is coming Saturday. Friday I plan on filling my truck with the stuff I've bought so far and bringing it over. It really shouldn't be too bad of a transition. I can't believe you'll be right next door!"

"I know! Can you imagine the trouble we'll get into?"

"Trouble? Who, us? No way." I say while feigning innocence. I lean over, as if I'm telling a secret, and say, "I can't wait to swim naked. No tan lines!"

She points at me with her sandwich and says, "You'd better not say anything to Danny about that or he'll be peeking over the fence."

"Ewww, gross! He's like a brother." I can't help it my body shudders all on its own and she laughs at me.

"True. If not him it'll be his friends. So don't say anything or I'll have company day and night so they can get a peek of you skinny dipping."

"Okay. Pinky promise." I hold my pinky out and we pinky swear.

"When are you having a housewarming party?"

"I've thought about that and I think when it warms up more so we can enjoy the pool from morning to night. I figured I would do it for two days that way the swing shifts can make it too. We're going to have a blast." I look at my watch, "Shit. I've got to get back. I'll talk to you later. Love you." I stand and give her a hug.

"Love you too. Hey, is Dr. L still after you?"

I roll my eyes and tell her, "I'll talk to you later," grab my tray and head back to work.

Dr. Lawson is an ED resident that has been trying to get me to go on a date with him for about six months now. I just don't think it's a smart move. He's extremely good looking and has a great personality. Do we flirt? Like crazy. Am I attracted to him? Absolutely. Do I want to act on it and jump him? Yup. Will I? Nope. See, easy peasy.

Chapter

1

I'm all moved in and so tired I can barely stand. I get ready for bed and climb onto my new king size bed. It's absolute heaven. So soft and cushy and with the new linens it makes me feel snug as a bug in a rug.

I'm in my new house and there's a knock on the door. It must be Tash or Danny because I don't know anyone else here and the guard shack didn't call for a visitor. I open the door and it's Jack, Dr. Lawson. Damn, he's looking all sorts of yummy in his salmon colored polo and khaki cargo shorts. "Hey Jack..." I don't even get to finish my greeting before he grabs me and smashes his mouth to mine. I automatically open to him and our tongues mingle together smoothly at first and then work up to a frenzied pace. He walks me backwards and kicks the door shut while keeping our mouths connected. When he pulls away he doesn't say a word just picks me up and carries me to the bedroom. He lays me on the bed and lifts my nightgown then rips my panties off. Rips them off! His mouth is still on me like it was when I answered the door. This is crazy, why am I letting this happen? OH MY GOD his tongue, it's vibrating! Fucking vibrating on my clit? How did he get down there? "Oh god, Jack, I'm going to"...there's a beeping noise and he stops.

Holy shit! I shut my alarm off and try to gather my wits. Fuckety, fuck, fuck, fuck. Why would I have a sexual dream about Jack? We've worked together and flirted for over a year and I've never dreamt of him. Maybe because he's been asking me out again, being tired and the new house. That has to be it. Good grief the man's tongue was vibrating. Nobody can do that but I do know one thing that can. I lean over, open my nightstand drawer and grab my vibrator so I can take care of this ache before jumping in the shower.

I set my alarm last night so I didn't sleep in too late. I want to spend my first full day in my new home enjoying the kitchen. I like to cook but I love to bake. As long as I have my music and can sing and dance around I'll spend all day in the kitchen.

I was making Danny his favorite, brownies with peanut butter frosting, when I slipped in my socks and busted my nose. I literally broke my nose. Not a good start to the first full day in my new home. Danny was home so he took me to the hospital. Of course, Jack was the doctor. It wasn't too bad of a break. I didn't need stitches or surgery. I do have two very pretty purple eyes. My yellow and lavender scrubs will match nicely, thank you very much.

"Thanks for taking me to the hospital."

"No problem. I also got to see Tash while we were there so it was a win-win."

"How's that a win-win?"

"You were making me brownies and I got to see Tash, win-win."

"Got ya. Do you mind if you get them without the frosting?"

"They won't taste as good but how can I ask you to make the frosting when you're hurt and high from pain medicine. You want me to stay with you when we get home?"

"No. I'm going to take my butt to bed and sleep. Thanks though."

"If you need anything just call." He pauses and then says, "Hey are you seeing anybody?"

"No, why?"

"Well, there's this guy I work with and I think you might get along with him. I don't know him personally, as in buddy buddies, but my boss does and raves about how decent he is. He was telling me about his bad online dating experience and I thought of you."

"Why the hell would you think of me? I don't do online dating anymore you know that."

"No. I mean I thought you should go on a date with him," he grins at me. "Unless you're only doing booty calls."

"Not exactly." If you want to call a vibrator a booty call then yeah I think to myself. "I just don't have a lot of time but what the hell, why not? Sure, you can give him my number."

We pull up in his driveway and when I get out and shut the door I tell him, "You better hope he's not an ass or no goodies for a month."

"That's a bit harsh. How about two weeks and you have a deal?"

"Like you have room to bargain."

"Hey, I said I didn't know him that well."

"Fine. Two weeks. Thanks again. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Sid."

I walk in the kitchen and see the mess I made that needs to be cleaned up. I'm not putting it off, I don't want bugs. I keep my tennis shoes on and clean it all up. A half hour later I'm on my way back to bed for some drugged sleep. I hope I don't have any more fucked up dreams. On the bright side I have a few extra days off from work.

Chapter

2

The doorbell rings and I head to the door, when I open it I can't believe my eyes. You're fucking kidding me. "Hi, James?"

"Yes." He's licking his lips perusing my body.

"Hey, Romeo, my eyes are right here." That got his attention but it took a second. Why does this shit always happen to me?

"Are you ready to go? The early matinee starts in almost two hours. I figure that'll give us enough time to eat before the movie."

"Let me grab my purse and lock up." I grab my purse from the entry table, make sure I have my phone and keys, walk out and lock the door. When I turn around I stop. Fuck my life. This has to be a joke, right?

Now look I'm not a snobby person but everyone has standards and if they mesh good, if not it's time to move on.

I'm staring at an old Ford Fiesta. You know it wouldn't be bad but it looks like he doesn't even take care of it. Oh yeah, I forgot what he's wearing. Elastic waist jeans with a Pokémon t-shirt that's tucked in said pants with velcro instead of laces on his tennis shoes. I do know with those choices we will not have much of anything in common. I pray that this is a bet he lost and it's not for real because I don't have the heart to cut my losses in the driveway.

My prayers didn't come true. We ate at the food court in the mall and caught the dollar movie there also. I told him I wasn't feeling well and that I'd call a cab to take me home. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. That's the last time I try online dating. Never, ever again.

I wake up and shiver from the memory of the dream. That's why I don't do the online way to meet people anymore. They can lead you on and make you believe anything. I'm genuine so I expect others to be truthful too but it just doesn't work that way.

Once I have my cup of coffee I head to the backyard and my chaise lounge chair. I'm relaxing enjoying the sun warming my skin when my phone dings that I have a text.

Tasha: How's the sniffer?

Me: Broke how do you think it is? lol

Tasha: Are you out of bed yet?

Me: Yup. Out by the pool. Grab a cup on your way back here.

Tasha: See ya in a few.

Five minutes later Tash and I are enjoying girl talk and coffee. The best way to spend the morning, soaking up some vitamin d.

"So, Danny tells me you gave him permission to set you up with a guy at work."

"Yeah, what can it hurt?"

She flips sideways in her chair so fast I thought there was a bee after her. "I know who he's talking about. I met him at the company picnic. Sid, this guy is ripped. Like mouthwatering, drooling, wet t-shirt contest H.O.T."

My turn to flip, "You're shitting me!"

"Nope."

"Wonder what the hell's wrong with him then if he needs to be fixed up."

"Hey, that's not fair. You're gorgeous and you're being fixed up."

"I work a lot, don't go to the clubs looking for men, forget online dating and you know I don't do social media. What's his excuse?"

"Maybe he doesn't do those things either. I know when we're at Danny's work functions the girls are always hanging around and trying to get his attention. If I was single I'd date him just to look at him. And trust me I've dreamt of him...naked."

This sends me into a fit of giggles and I flop on my back. "You better not let Danny hear you say that. Hey, what's his name?"

"Alex."

"Just like a Greek God." If only he winds up as I'm picturing him in my mind. Mmm hmm.

"He does bodybuilding. I swear he has muscles on top of muscles. When we've talked to him he seems really nice and intelligent too."

"So, why haven't you tried to fix me up with him?"

"Because you told me to never try to fix you up." She uses air quotes when she says never. Bitch.

"Okay, I'll buy that...for now." I used the same said air quotes on the 'for now'.

"If you guys do date and you get him between the sheets you'd better spill every single detail. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. I need to get home and finish the laundry and cleaning. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Love you."

"You too, chickee."

I must have fallen asleep because my phone beeping woke me up. I look and it's a text from a number I don't know.

Unknown: Hi this is Alex Danny's friend from work. He gave me your number and said you might be interested in going out.

Me: Yup. I work 12-14 hours a day 4 days on and 3 days off. I'm usually available during the week if that'll work for you.

Alex: Any day after 6 works for me. How about tomorrow at 7?

Me: That would be fine but just so you know I broke my nose yesterday. If you don't mind a couple of black eyes and a bit of a swollen face I'm game.

Alex: Are you ok?

Me: Yup. I'm clumsy.

Alex: Glad you're ok. If you're sure you feel up to it text me your address and I'll pick you up at 7.

Me: See you at 7. 8951 Sand Cove Dr. in Beachwood Estates. I'll leave your name at the front gate. What's your last name?

Alex: Kostopoulos. See you tomorrow.

Oh shit, he really is Greek. He may be a God after all. I hope so.

Me: Date with Alex tomorrow at 7!

Tasha: Woo Hoo!

Me: Want to go shopping?

Tasha: When?

Me: Anytime today.

Tasha: Give me 2 hours

Me: Ok

We were downtown walking around some boutiques trying different things on and I found the cutest outfit. A pair of light blue jeans, they come mid-calf and are cuffed at the bottom. A white shirt, a light yellow spring cardigan sweater and a pretty, delicate scarf. Three stores later I found a cute pair of black, strappy, wedge sandals. Tasha thought I should put more effort into my choice of outfit. I disagree and think it's cute, I like it so that's what I'm wearing. Besides, I want to be comfortable.

Chapter

3

My doorbell rings about five minutes to seven. I'm bracing myself even with what Tash told me. I open the door and I swear he's an actual Greek God. Almost electric blue eyes. Dark, almost black hair that is kind of long on top and shorter on the sides, not a one out of place. He's wearing a black long sleeved shirt with blue jeans and tan boat shoes. JACKPOT!!

When I finally get my wits about me I speak. "Alex?"

"Yes, ma'am. Sidney, I presume" His smile is bright so I assume that's a good thing.

"The one and only." That made him chuckle. I may have an enjoyable evening after all. Yay for me.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, let me grab my purse." I walk out the door and he's still holding the screen door like a gentleman. I lock the door and we start walking to his truck. It's a nice new truck too. He's guiding me with his hand on my lower back and I think my panties may be melting and running down my leg at this point. He even opens the truck door for me. I have to tell myself to calm down before I drool down the front of myself and start humping his leg. I can't take my eyes off of him when he walks around and jumps in the truck.

"When we were texting I didn't think to ask what kind of food you like so I thought about a Mom 'n Pop Diner that I love, is that okay with you?"

"Sounds good to me. I'm not a food snob."

He starts laughing and asks, "What's a food snob?"

I turn my head to gauge his reaction. "A food snob is someone who is picky about every little thing they eat."

"Good to know."

"So you don't have a strict diet for your competitions?"

His eyebrows are scrunched up when he asks, "Who told you I compete?"

"Tasha, Danny's girlfriend. She said you were a bodybuilder."

"Ah, I see. No, I don't compete anymore but I do try to stay in shape." He's smiling again.

"I can definitely tell that much." I cover my mouth so fast you can hear the smack. I didn't mean to say that out loud. I can feel my face burning so I can image how red it is. He's chuckling. And fuck me if that didn't kind of hurt.

"Thanks. Don't be embarrassed. I can tell you keep in shape too."

"I mainly get my exercise running around the ER."

"Danny said you worked with his girlfriend. What do you do?"

"I'm an RN."

"Impressive. Do you enjoy it?"

"Very much. I love helping people. Every day is different and satisfying by the end of my shift. Well, most days. When we lose someone those days aren't good."

We get to the diner, when we're seated and drink orders are placed I ask, "What do you do at work?"

"My job title is a Civil Engineer but I do a little bit of everything. I really enjoy my job too."

We ordered our food and talked all through dinner and dessert. When he dropped me off at home he asked if he could take me out again and of course I agreed. He kissed me on the cheek and said goodnight. He's nice, has manners and is a damn fine specimen of the human race.

After I was done jumping around and squealing, I text Tasha.

Me: Wow!

Tasha: Told you so

Me: Not just looks but personality too. Jackpot!

Tasha: Cha ching!

Alex and I had been seeing each other for almost two months when I decided to stop seeing him. I was extremely disappointed. We were talking about things we want in life and I learned he doesn't want children. He's nine years older than me so I don't think it's a decision he made lightly. I want a house full of kids. My own, adopted, foster, it doesn't really matter how I get them as long as I have a house full. We both agreed there was no sense in seeing each other romantically but will remain friends. It sucks because he is a very attentive lover and damn fine to look at, naked or clothed. He's a good man though and I hope he finds someone that wants the same as he does in life.

Chapter

4

I'm excited about today. It's the official start of my housewarming party weekend. I've stocked up on all kinds of liquor, wine, beer, mixers, soda and water. I've also bought a few air mattresses. If you don't have a DD or take a taxi then you're staying the night, and we plan on partying all weekend long. I made some of the food the rest I had catered. I also bought steaks, chicken, sausage, burgers and dogs for the grill. I think I have plenty of everything. We've rearranged schedules and traded off so everyone from the emergency department and some of the other nurses and doctors I know can come.

I have cards and chips for poker. Two dry erase boards for Pictionary, my favorite game ever. And a new net and volleyball for the pool so we can play drunk pool volleyball.

I gave everyone an invitation so the security guards wouldn't have to keep calling me to ask if they're invited guests. I'll have to remember to take them up some food later.

Tasha and Danny were the first to show up. They thought I might need some help but I had it all ready and waiting. Everyone else started showing up after that. Then I get an odd text from Emily, one of the nurses I work with.

Emily: Would it be ok if Jack brings his piercing kit and pierces us at your house?

Me: Umm sure?

Emily: Bitch you rock!

That made me laugh. Her twin Erica works with us also. Those two are the craziest girls I have ever met. They usually have me about to pee my pants with the adventures they talk about. They are into some kinky shit and have no problem sharing the details.

The party is in full swing and we're having a blast. I can't believe all of the people that came. Mostly everyone who was invited came and some who weren't, but came with other staff members. Fine by me, the more the merrier.

Tasha, Danny, Erica, Brandy and myself are sitting on the patio furniture telling blind date horror stories when Emily comes bounding up.

"Hey bitches! Who wants to get pierced?" She's smiling like a Cheshire cat.

I ask,. "Exactly what kind of piercing are we talking about?"

"Hood, of course, but I'm sure he'll pierce you wherever you want to be."

"Fuck! I'm out of here." Danny's a little red in the face when he gets up and leaves.

Tasha asks, "Isn't it supposed to make you more sensitive?"

"You guys come in the house, Jack has everything almost set up and you can ask the sexpert."

We all laugh and follow her in the house and into one of my spare rooms. She's right. Jack is all set up and even has sterile paper across my bed.

"Hello ladies." He's looking at all of us like the dirty, cocky boy we know he can be. "Is everyone getting the vertical hood piercing?"

We all say hi and I ask, "I have a question. Isn't it supposed to make you more sensitive?"

"Yes, ma'am. Please tell me you're getting pierced too so I can finally say I've been in your pants."

Everybody busts up laughing except me, I turn a little pink. Damn, Jack and his flirting.

"Aw, Sid, I'm just messing with you. I'll put my doctor hat on. Everybody have a seat so I can give you my speech." We all sit down and he continues. "What happens is I'll first check and make sure you don't have a vein going down the middle where the piercing goes. If you do I won't pierce you. Then I'll check to make sure you have enough depth. Third, I'll place a needle receiving tube, pierce and place the jewelry. It's easy and you'll only feel a sharp pinch. And yes, it does make most women more sensitive. Any questions?"

Erica asks, "What about sex, do I have to wait for weeks?"

"No, you don't but if you do have sex make sure you use condoms and if you have oral sex make sure he uses a dental dam. I have a sheet of aftercare instructions and suggestions. Anything else?"

I raise my hand like we're in class. "What about swimming in the pool?"

"I would wait until you've healed. But that can be as little as a week or can take up to four."

"I'm out. I want it done but I'll wait because I want to swim the rest of the weekend."

"I can come back and do it Sunday for you, if you want."

"Thanks, Jack, I might just take you up on that offer." A triumphant smile takes over his face.

I leave the girls there and get back to the party. Not even ten minutes later Tash comes out looking like someone ran over her dog. "What's wrong? Did it hurt that bad?"

"No. I couldn't have it done because he said I didn't have enough depth."

"Well, did you ask him if he wanted you to wax poetic?"

That got her laughing. "You're such a dork but I love you anyways."

I hug her, we get a drink and head out back.

The group comes out from being pierced to join us and I have to know. "Jack, when did you start piercing people?"

He leans back and props his legs up on the end of a chaise settling in. Must be a long story. "When I was in college I did it to make extra money." I know he sees the bewilderment on my face because he continues with a sly grin. "My mom was in control of my trust fund until I graduated med school. What can I say, I needed extra beer money." He has us all laughing. "Sid, am I coming back Sunday to pierce you?"

"Yeah. I suppose I can stay out of the pool until it's healed." I roll my eyes and let out a huff when I say, "And you can finally tell people you got in my pants."

He winks at me and smiles. "I wouldn't tell a soul, we could keep it our little secret. You could put a man out of his misery though. Do you have any idea what dating has been like? My mother keeps fixing me up on blind dates." His entire body shivers and I have to laugh because I do know.

"You think you've had it bad imagine what it's been like for us girls." I look around at the other three sitting with us and say, "Okay, so let's swap our worst horror story of blind dates. Tash, you go first."

"Umm, okay. Well, it was a few years ago right before I graduated. My mom set it up, which should have been the first indication to run. He called and was nice, had a sexy voice too, so I thought why not. We were going to have dinner and then see a movie. We met at a coffee house and he wasn't bad looking but I could tell he'd been drinking already, clue number two. Anyways, we were walking to dinner and the bastard took me to McDonald's. Now I'm no genius but if you ask me out and have money for booze then you have money to take me to a decent sit-down meal. I ate because I was hungry and then promptly left, by myself."

Brandy says, "That's not too bad. Listen to this. About a year ago my roommate wanted to double date so I agreed. Her boyfriend was hot so I thought maybe his friend would be too. Oh my god, he was fucking gorgeous. So here we were at a nice restaurant enjoying ourselves and all of the sudden I hear someone hollering 'you've got to be fucking kidding me'. I looked up and there was a waitress screaming at my date about how he could be seen in public with such a slut and in her restaurant. It was his ex. Then she picked up his glass of water and threw it on me. I was just about to punch the bitch when he started crying and apologizing to HER! Come to find out they had been broke up for a year but she kept stringing him along. He didn't even know she worked there. Needless to say I left."

Tasha tells her, "I still would have punched her on my way out."

"I still have you all beat." Jack says. He takes a drink of his beer and begins, "My mom set me up with one of her friends daughters. She was new to town and thought it would be nice. What could it hurt I enjoy meeting new people so I called her and asked her out. She was hesitant but really nice on the phone so I made dinner reservations. It was fall so I thought the movie in the park would be fun too. I picked her up and man she was beautiful," he pauses, "except for her Adam's apple. Oh, it was shaved down and not that noticeable but I'm a doctor for crying out loud! It was the first thing I noticed when I was looking at the shape of her neck. Anyways, we got in the car and before I started it I turned and told her, 'I'm sorry but I don't think it's a good idea for us to date.' She burst out in tears and begged me not to tell my mom and tried to get out of the car. I told her to hold on and calm down. Once she was calm enough I said, 'I have no problem going out as friends and it's no one else's business so don't worry'. She looked at me like I was crazy. We wound up going to dinner, had great conversation and enjoyed the movie in the park. She's still a good friend of mine."

Everyone collectively awes over his story.

I say, "See, Jack, you're not as arrogant as you want people to think."

"Um, ok. Thanks. I'll take that as a compliment I suppose." He looks hurt by what I said. Shit, now I feel bad.

"I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was you're a decent guy and you don't let that side show very often." I pat his arm and ask if he wants another beer.

Chapter

5

The partying has wound down to just a few people by Sunday early afternoon. I made brunch and everyone is just relaxing in or by the pool. Jack shows up around three and the last person leaves around four so it's just he and I.

"Are you ready to get pierced or did you change your mind?" He asks.

I jump up off the couch and tell him, "Nope. Let me go to the bathroom and then I'll be ready. You can set up in my bedroom this time."

I head to my bathroom and freshen up when I come out he's got everything ready. He even picked the jewelry.

Before I take off my panties he stops me and asks, "Do you want to be pierced by Dr. Lawson or by Jack?"

"What's the difference?"

He has a sheepish look on his face. "Well, Dr. Lawson won't ogle the goods but Jack will."

"Oh. Ah, um." I'm stuttering because he just threw me off. "How about the doctor does this, I'd feel more comfortable."

"You got it."

Now I'm embarrassed to pull my panties down and I'm stalling. "Sid, take your underwear off and lie down, it'll only take a minute."

"Okay." I take my undies off and lie down. He's putting his gloves on and opening the packages. When he turns around to pierce me he cusses and shuts his eyes for a second. "Jack, are you okay?"

"Yup. Just give me a second." He opens his eyes and apologizes. "I'm sorry, that wasn't very professional of me."

"It's alright. Let's get this done."

It was over in about a minute from start to finish. I go to put my panties back on and Jack says, "You shouldn't wear lace panties. The piercing can get caught on the material and make it uncomfortable and bleed."

I go to my dresser to find different panties and some loose shorts to put on while he cleans everything up.

We go back to the living room and I ask, "Would you like to watch a movie?"

"Not right now. I'd like to talk." This makes me nervous for some reason. We sit on the couch and I face him.

He smiles at me and says, "I know I've been teasing you about going out with me at work but I really would like to take you on a date. We get along. Our work schedules are similar. Why not just try it? Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

"True, but what if it doesn't go so well? We still have to work with each other."

"Yes, but we're both adults and, contrary to popular belief, I can be professional."

That got a chuckle from me. "I don't know, Jack. That's really the only thing holding me back. Can you promise me a few things?"

"What are they?"

"First, I'd like to keep it to ourselves. I don't need to be gossiped about. Second, if it doesn't go well I want to stay professional about things. I don't want to be written up or transferred from the emergency department."

He looks me in the eyes with such sincerity when he says, "I can promise those. But let's not sabotage anything before we have our first date by thinking it won't go well."

I nod. "I can do that."

He smiles, grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. "How about that movie now?"

"Sounds good to me." I turn the television on and we find a movie to watch. When I press the start button he pulls me to him and I nestle into his chest. Damn, he smells good.

Chapter

6

Jack and I have been dating for three months now. We get along great in and out of work. No one has a clue except Tasha. But that's only because she lives next door and sees us coming and going or his car staying all night. Plus, she is my best friend, whom I've sworn to secrecy. She says she'll keep her mouth shut as long as I keep giving her details. I would give her details anyway. I want to tell her everything, after all I am a girl.

We were working one night when we got a call about a level one pediatric trauma coming in. This is not good. The department looks to be in chaos after the call but in reality we're synchronized getting everything in place and ready.

I can't believe my eyes when they bring the baby in. She's three and is tiny from malnourishment. She's black and blue from her head to her feet, her eyes are almost swollen shut. I can tell her humerus on the right arm is fractured. So is her right tibia. I don't hear much after that except the orders being given. I have to shut my mind down and be in total nurse mode. They lost her on the way here, but have been doing CPR for only ten minutes when we take over. We try for another thirty even using the defibrillator and still nothing. Jack finally pronounces the time of death. The tears are streaming down my face on their own accord and I know I'm not the only one.

We leave the room and I hear one of the paramedic's saying that the boyfriend of the mother should be here soon because he has a broken nose and a contusion above the eye.

I know what happened to her, but I have to ask. "Is he the one that tortured and killed that baby?"

Brady looks at me with fire and sadness in his eyes his body stiff. "Yeah, that fucker did it. So did the mother. He's lucky he didn't wind up in my rig. I'd be bringing him in DOA."

I nod my head and walk away. I want to go home now but need to finish up my paperwork so I can leave. I'm at the nurses' desk on auto-pilot when Jack comes up. He sits next to me and asks, "Are you okay?"

"I will be. I'm getting ready to go home. How are you?"

"It's hitting me pretty hard right now. Can I come to your house when I get off?" I'd rather be alone but I can only imagine what it's like for him having to pronounce her death.

"Of course. I'll leave the front door unlocked, just come in when you get there.

"I'll see you later. Please be careful on your way home." He stands up and leaves. I finish my work, go to the locker room to get my purse and leave. When I walk out the doors I know I'll never be back. I'm not okay and I don't know if I ever will be.

When I get into my truck I let loose all of the tears and anger. Once I'm calm enough to drive I head home.

When I get in the shower I cry and scream while the hot water relaxes my muscles the best it can. After I'm all dried off I braid my hair, get dressed and head for the kitchen. It's going to be a long night. I like to bake when I'm upset. It relaxes me better than anything else I've tried.

By the time Jack arrives I have an Italian crème cake cooling and am working on my second batch of snicker doodle cookies. He comes up from behind, wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my neck. I can feel him shaking. I wipe my hands off and turn in his arms to hold him. He's crying and in turn that makes me cry. I let go of him, shut the oven off, put the cookie dough in the fridge and take him to my bathroom. I start the shower, undress myself and then undress him. If I focus my attention on him and take care of him the less time my thoughts have to run wild.

I grab a washcloth and lead him into the shower. "I'm going to take care of you. Relax, let the tears flow and just feel." He nods, puts his head down with his arms on the wall and lets the water run over him. I make sure his hair is wet enough and have him lean back so I can wash it. I massage his scalp for a few minutes and pat his shoulder so he knows to rinse. I get the washcloth wet and soapy and touch his shoulder again. He turns around and I begin to wash him. This isn't sexual. This is me taking care of a broken man that I care deeply about. When I reach his feet the tears have subsided.

He startles me a little when he speaks, his voice is deep and sad. "I had to tend to that sorry piece of shit."

"I'm sorry, Jack, that must have been very difficult. But it doesn't mean you condone anything he did." I stand and he rinses off while mumbling, 'you have no idea.'

I shut the shower off and grab the towels. I wrap one around myself and start to dry him off. He tries to stop me but I tell him, "Let me do this for you." He does and when I'm done he hugs me tightly to him.

He kisses the top of my head, lays his cheek on it and says, "Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me. I don't know what I would have done if I had to go home to an empty house." He starts rubbing his hand up and down my back. "Are you doing okay? I noticed you already had a cake made and were working on some cookies. I remember you telling me you bake when you get upset."

"You're welcome and I'll be okay. Are you hungry?"

"Not really but I need to eat something. Do you have anything light? Or I could order something to be delivered."

"It's too late to order delivery, besides I have plenty to choose from. Come on let's get dressed." Last month he brought over a few things and left them here so he didn't have to worry about going home and packing a bag if he was coming after work.

While we're getting dressed I tell him, "I have a few things that'll be light. Grilled tuna steak with some greens. A salad with grilled chicken, egg, and feta cheese. Or a spinach and feta quiche. What sounds good?"

We're walking towards the kitchen when he laces his fingers through mine and kisses the back of my hand. "Any of it sounds good. Whatever is the least trouble and I can help make it."

I smile at him and point at a bar stool for him to sit at. He does and I turn the oven back on to finish up the cookies. "I have everything cooked already I only need to assemble it. Drink?"

"Water, please. What do you have a taste for?"

"Any of it but I asked you to decide."

"How about the tuna and greens."

"Coming right up."

We have dinner and I finish baking the cookies. When I have everything cleaned up and put away we go to bed. While we're brushing our teeth I ask what time he has to be to work tomorrow. He has to be there by six so I set the alarm for five. He lays down so we're face to face. He starts stroking my hair, looking at me like he wants to say something, leans in and gives me a tender kiss.

"I'm going to be holding onto you tight tonight."

I nod my head and roll over. He pulls me to his front and his arm tightens around me. With a kiss to my head he tells me thank you and sleep good.

I put my hand over his, squeeze it and tell him sweet dreams.

Every time I shut my eyes I see Sophia, her tiny body on the gurney covered with bruises. I keep my eyes open and just lay there. When Jack's breathing evens out and I can hear him lightly snoring I lift his arm up, move out from under it and put a pillow in my place. I quietly shut the bedroom door when I leave. I'll be in the kitchen baking and the last thing I want is to wake him up. He needs his sleep. I have the next two days off. Hopefully I'll never have to go back. I can't do it. That was too much for me to handle. I'm resigning tomorrow but I'll stay as long as they need me to. I'm hoping Tasha can pull some strings so I don't have to though.

Chapter

7

I make the frosting for my crème cake, frost and decorate it. I don't want to take the chance of waking Jack but I need to occupy my mind so I grab my kindle and head out back to my favorite reading spot, the hammock. I turn the bug zapper on, so I don't get all bit up, and climb in.

I love, love, love The Men of Steel series by MJ Fields. I've read Jase, Cyrus, Zandor and am on Xavier. I think I'm in love with all four men equally. Better yet the women who are beside them know how to hold these alpha men up when they're down. Just goes to show you there's always a strong woman behind a successful man.

That's why I've decided I can't see Jack anymore. He needs someone strong to hold him up when things like yesterday happen, not just go through the motions. He is an attractive, considerate, fun loving, compassionate man that deserves a woman that will worship his qualities not be selfish with her own problems.

I finish reading Xavier as five o'clock approaches. I go inside to start the coffee and make breakfast. By the time our oatmeal is cooked and I've got the fruit cut up and in dishes Jack comes into the kitchen. He comes up behind me wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek. See such a sweet man.

"Good morning gorgeous, what time did you get up?"

He lets go and sits on a bar stool where I have his coffee and breakfast waiting. I smile at him, walk around the island and sit next to him. "I couldn't sleep so I've been up since you fell asleep last night."

He puts his spoon down and takes my hand in his. "Because of what happened yesterday?"

I nod. I don't really want to talk about it. Since I was a child I wanted to be a nurse. They're always there to make you feel better and most have so much love and compassion to share they can make you feel good with just a smile. I could always give that to people. Right now I know I can't and that's another reason I have to resign.

He scoots so he's facing me and pulls me in for a hug. "Hey, it happens to all of us. You never get used to it but you learn how to deal with it. I used to have the worst time when an abused woman would come in. They could walk away and didn't all because someone made sure they had no self-worth left. When a child comes in it's the worst. What happened yesterday doesn't happen often, Sidney. I know you don't want to talk about it now, I can tell by your eyes. But please let me know when you are or if you need something in the meantime.

"I will. Thank you, Jack." I kiss him lightly on the lips and turn to eat some fruit so I can stop looking into his concerned eyes, knowing what I'm about to do.

When he leaves I crank the music and get to work. I go into my office and type up my resignation. Next I shower so I can leave and get to the hospital.

I walk into the HR department and go to Tasha's office. She's on the phone so I sit down to wait. When she hangs up she comes over to me and gives me a big hug. I hold on longer than I should but I needed that understanding from her without words.

She sits in the chair next to me. "What are you doing here, it's too early for lunch."

I hand her my resignation, she opens and reads it. When she's done she scrunches up her forehead and looks at me in question. "I just can't do it. I don't want to talk about it but I do have a favor to ask."

"Whatever you need. If I can do it you know I will."

"I don't want to come back. I know it says I'll work until my position is filled but I'd rather not."

"Does Jack know?"

"No. He'd try to talk me out of it but I need to do this for me. He would just push and tell me I could learn to handle it. Not in a mean way, in a supportive way. He has no idea that I really can't handle it. Do you think, that is that something that can be done?"

"I think so, give me a few minutes." She stands up and walks back around to her desk. She shuffles some papers around and makes a call. When she's done she tells me they had a few people apply for the emergency department and the one she really liked is able to start immediately so I don't need to worry.

"Thank you. One more thing. I'm taking off for a bit can you water my house plants?"

"What the hell, Sid? You quit and now you're leaving. Where are you going and when will you be back?"

"I need time to myself. Not sure where I'm going or when I'll be back but I am coming back. I couldn't stay away from you and Danny if I tried."

"Fine, but your ass better come home soon." She stands up and so do I. We walk to each other and hug.

I give her a kiss on the cheek and step back. "I'm headed home to pack. I need to write Jack a letter and tell him a few things. I'm going to drop it off at his house so you may be getting a call from him when he gets home. I'll answer if you or Danny call or text but no one else. I'm sorry to put you in this position."

"Pfffttt, you're fine, no biggie. Let me know you're safe when you get to wherever you're going and keep in touch okay?"

"Yup. Love you hard, girl."

"You too, chickee."

I walk out of the hospital and my heart is heavy. I'm going to start counseling again, maybe after that I'll be able to come back. I feel like shit for what I'm about to do to Jack but he does deserve more. He doesn't even deserve the Dear John letter I'm going to write him but I'm too selfish to do it in person.

I had to make one more stop but when I get home I grab my laptop and plop down on the couch. Where do I want to escape to? Hmmm. I pull up a travel site and there's a picture of Vegas. Now that's a good idea. Lots of people, lights and noise. I love playing the slots and it's a great distraction for thinking. I don't want to go to Vegas though. Hmmm. Oh, I know. I type in Biloxi, Mississippi and bingo we have a winner. I find a flight and then book myself in a suite at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino for three nights, no thinking for three days. I search for condo rentals next. I need a kitchen if I'm going to work through some of this shit flying around in my head after the casino. I found one right on the beach and booked it for two weeks. They said if it's not reserved and I want to stay longer I can. I was meant to be in Biloxi apparently. I have four hours before my flight takes off. I'll pack and then write Jack's letter, it'll give me time to think of what to write.

Packing didn't take too long. If I need something else while I'm there I'll buy it. I grab a beer, my stationary and a pen then head out back to the patio set.

Chapter

8

Jack,

I'm not good with putting my emotions on paper but here goes.

First of all I hate that I am doing this to you. You need a strong woman beside you and that's not me right now. Experiencing what happened to baby Sophia first hand broke me. I've resigned from the hospital and won't be returning. I'm also taking some much needed time away.

I love that you're such a compassionate man. That's why I couldn't tell you in person. I couldn't stand to see the sympathy, concern and if I'm not mistaken love in your eyes. We're in two different places right now and it's not fair to either of us to keep going down separate paths while being together.

I will forever cherish the time we've spent together. Hopefully one day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me for this. If or when that happens I'd like to still call you my friend.

I wish you nothing but success, happiness and love. You will always hold a place in my heart, Jack, always. Take care.

Love,

Sidney

I put it in an envelope, seal it up.

I took a taxi to the airport because I didn't want my truck sitting there for an unknown amount of time. I had them stop by Jack's so I could drop off his belongings and the letter. Then by the bank so I could make a withdrawal. Now I'm on the last leg of my flight. I had to fly into Atlanta because they didn't have a direct flight to Biloxi. It's almost taken me as long to fly as it would have been the four hours to drive from home.

When I get my luggage from baggage claim I rent a car and am on my way to the hotel. I thought I'd rent a car so I can get around locally and if I decide to travel a bit. I'm an hour and a half away from New Orleans and the same to Foley, Alabama where there is an outlet mall. A little booze and retail shopping never hurts.

I get to the hotel, check in and go to my suite. It's on the top floor and kind of exclusive. You have to go through these huge glass doors to get to the hallway that leads to the suites. I find my room and when I walk in wow is about the only thing that comes to mind. It's really neat. The living room is the first thing I walk into. I follow it further to the bedroom and I'll be damned, it's a huge round bed. The bathroom is just as amazing. It has a huge Jacuzzi tub but the shower is incredible. It's all glass with showerheads coming from every direction, so cool. I open the door to the patio and I'm on a deck facing the beach with chairs, a patio set and a real Jacuzzi. It's all very beautiful. I stand at the railing and take a deep breath of the salty air, it's one of my favorite scents.

I go back inside, strip, shower the funk from traveling off, climb in bed and take a nap. I'm just about asleep when I remember I forgot to text Tasha and let her know I made it and am safe. I grab my phone from the nightstand and text her.

Me: Made it and going to take a nap. Thanks again. Love you.

Tasha: Glad you made it safe. Keep in touch. Love you too.

I get all snuggled up in the blankets again and fall asleep.

The bruises are terrible looking. Some are a deep purple and some are yellow with a little green from where the old ones are healing. Oh God, they're going to do it again.

I wake up trying to scream with nothing really coming out. I look over at the clock and I've only been asleep for a little over three hours. I'm soaking wet and so are the sheets from sweat.

Chapter

9

I get up grab a shower and head down to the casino floor. I stop at the reception desk and ask for clean sheets to be sent to my room. The staff is always smiling and I love that about this place.

I walk around the casino floor to find a slot machine to play. I find one called Snapdragons slip a hundred in and start playing. Right off the bat I hit a bonus round and won three hundred and seventy-seven dollars. I'm loving it. A waitress comes by and I get a beer. As soon as she leaves a man comes and sits next to me. Let me tell you he smells yummy. Not overdone just a hint of his cologne is finding its way to me. Scent does something to my mind and body. It's a reaction, I have no idea why. He says hi so I look at him and say hello back. Low and behold he's a cutie pie. Now, I'm not looking to hook up but I know a good looking man when I see one.

He sees my credits and says, "Well, you must have all the luck tonight I can't seem to win anything."

"Then I wish you luck and hope you start winning instead of losing."

He smiles at me and he has beautiful teeth too. "I'd be real lucky if you had dinner with me."

What a jerk. "Sorry, not interested." I look back at my machine, start playing again and down the rest of my beer.

"Sorry, that was me being an ass to assume a beautiful woman, as yourself, is here alone."

I look at him and say, "You're an ass alright but you're an accurate ass." He laughs and so do I. I don't like to be rude or mean to people. It makes me feel guilty, even when they're being jerks.

"How about we start over?" He sticks his hand out and introduces himself. "I'm Derik."

I shake his hand. "Hi, Derik, I'm Sidney. Nice to meet you."

"You too and thanks for giving me a do over." I smile and nod my head. "My friends and I are having dinner at the steak house," he looks at his watch. "In about an hour, would you like to join us? And before you say no it's not just a group of guys, some of the wives and girlfriends will be there too."

What the hell, why not? At least I won't be alone. "You know, Derik, I would like that. Thank you."

"No, thank you. Now I get to have dinner with a beautiful woman."

I chuckle. "Dial it down Casanova." I just hit a big win. Holy Shit!!!

Derik's laughing. "Damn woman you are lucky. You just won eighteen hundred dollars! Can you rub some of that off on me?"

I'm laughing because I'm actually enjoying myself. My mind isn't consumed with terrible images and thoughts. We play a little while longer and I cash out at two thousand dollars.

We walk to the entrance of the steak house and there is a rather large group talking and laughing. When they notice us walking up they get quiet and have a look of shock and bewilderment on their faces. What the hell did I agree to? I didn't think to ask if he was married or had a girlfriend because _he_ was hitting on _me_.

Derik smiles and says, "Hey guys I'd like you to meet Sidney. Sidney, this is Drew and his wife Tracy, Rick and his wife Jody, Brian and his wife Judy, Tyler, Haylie, Thomas, Will and Robin."

I didn't expect this many people. We all say our hellos, go into the restaurant and are seated right away. Apparently he doesn't have a wife or girlfriend, phew. After drink orders are placed I ask if they're from the area or here on vacation.

I'm surprised to find out they're from Texas and are here for drag racing at the local dragway. They're racing for a purse and pinks. Derik, Brian, Drew and Rick have cars they're racing. I tell them I'm here for a much needed getaway to relax.

Judy asks, "Sidney, it's tomorrow night if you'd like to come with us. It's a lot of fun."

"Sounds like a plan to me. We'll exchange numbers after dinner." I turn to Derik. "I can't believe you're racing for pinks. What if you lose?" This gets the whole table laughing.

"Sweetheart, I don't lose."

Cocky much? "You could. You never know." I shrug my shoulders.

"That's true but very, very rare." He has a big cocky smile to go with his big cocky attitude.

"Oookay then." Thank God the appetizers show up so I can stuff my mouth with food instead of getting into a sparring of words.

When dinner is done I excuse myself to use the ladies room. I stop on the way and settle the tables' bill. It's the least I can do since they invited me. It didn't even cost half of what I won.

When I come back Judy and I exchange numbers so she can text me the details for tomorrow. The waitress comes by to thank us and tell us to enjoy our evening. The men ask about the check, she winks and says, "Someone's already taken care of that. Goodnight." I tipped her well and asked her not to say anything.

Rick says, "Damn, Derik, you got some fans in here?" And starts looking around.

Everyone's laughing so I guess Rick's making fun of his cockiness too.

We leave the restaurant and I start to say my goodbyes. They ask if I'm heading to my room or if I'd like to stick with them and gamble some more. I chose to stay and gamble because I'm not tired enough to pass out yet. That's what I'm shooting for. I want to be so tired when my head hits the pillow I'll be asleep. It doesn't give me time to think that way.

Derik is telling them how lucky I was on the slots and wants me to play blackjack with him. When I finally agree Tracy and Drew come with us to play also.

We find a table and take our seats, only one other person is playing, which is perfect considering there are only five seats at this table. We change our cash in for chips and I bet a hundred dollars. The dealer deals and I have twelve, Derik has twenty, Tracy has sixteen, Drew has twenty and the other guy has nineteen. The dealer has a queen showing. I hit and get a five, I hit again and get twenty one. I'm bouncing in my seat I'm so excited. Derik stays. Tracy hits and busts with twenty five. Drew stays. The other guy stays also. Dealer flips and has a ten. They all lose except me. Derik leans over and asks, "Can you rub some of your luck on me? You know that was an almost impossible hand, right?"

"Well, win or lose I wasn't about to stay at seventeen when she had a queen showing." I take my arm and rub it against his before the bets are placed.

The cards are dealt I'm at twenty so I stay. Derik gets blackjack, he grabs and kisses me on the cheek. All I can do is laugh. He tells me I'm his luck and I'd better show up tomorrow at the races because there's a car he'd like to win.

After playing for a while we've all been up and down like yo yo's but we're able to end it on an upswing. We run into the rest of their party and they're heading to their rooms also. We pile in the elevator and it winds up Rick, Jody, Will, Haylie and Tyler are all on my floor. When we reach our floor we say goodnight to the rest and go to our rooms. Will and Haylie are right next door to me. Right before my door shuts Derik comes running down the hall. "Hang on, Sidney."

I'm a little uncomfortable but I got this. I took self-defense classes of all kinds and can kick ass if I need to. He makes it to me and asks, "Would you join me for breakfast tomorrow?"

"I'm hoping to sleep in tomorrow but I will see you at the track before you race tomorrow."

He looks a little put off and asks, "Promise?"

I smile to put him at ease. "Sure do. Goodnight."

He nods, says goodnight, turns and leaves. I go in my room and I really want a shower but I'm afraid it'll wake me up so I strip my clothes off and climb in the bed. They didn't just drop the sheets off they changed them for me. When my head hits the pillow I fall right to sleep.

Chapter

10

I start rolling around in a fitful sleep and start to wake myself up. When I open my eyes I'm sideways on the bed looking at the light coming in through the curtains. I lay there for a bit getting my bearings. When I have myself together I look at the clock and bound out of the bed. It's four twenty in the afternoon. I'm happy I finally got some sleep but I need to get my ass in gear if I want to make it to the track before they race. I need to shower, eat and then get to the track.

I make it there with twenty minutes to spare. I can tell by looking at them they're not as cocky as last night. There are a ton of people surrounding Derik and Drew taking pictures and asking for autographs. Judy and Tracy flank me and Judy says, "You really have no idea who Derik is, do you?"

I'm taken back a bit by this. "What do you mean, who he is?"

They're laughing at me and I don't like it but I also know they're not being mean. Tracy speaks up this time. "They're brothers. Derik is the famous seasoned racer, Drew is the up and coming driver." She's really proud of them from the large smile on her face.

Huh. I smile myself and shake my head. "No, and I still have no idea who they are. I don't watch sports or much television for that matter. If I'm not working I don't want to sit around and do nothing."

They look at each other with serious expressions like they can't believe I don't watch TV. Judy asks, "What do you do that has you cut off from the rest of the world?"

Honesty but with little information so there are no follow up questions. "I'm an emergency department nurse. I work long and sometimes very odd hours."

Jody, Haylie and Robin join the group and the girls fill them in on how I still have no idea who the guys are. Robin starts jumping up and down and says she gets to show me. What the hell is she going to _show_ me? About that time I feel a hand on my lower back and I whip around to give someone a what for, but see it's Derik. He looks shocked for a second and then starts chuckling with a huge smile on his face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I scowl at him. "You didn't scare me. I just don't like strangers thinking they can touch me. You almost got put on your ass."

Now they're all howling with laughter. And it's contagious so I laugh with them.

Derik says, "Come on, I want to show you my car and then I'll show you the rest too."

"Okay." He takes my hand and leads me away. We're almost to his car when someone jumps in front of us and starts taking pictures and hurling questions. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into his chest to shield me from the camera. Then he starts hollering for someone to get the guy out of here.

I can hear a small scuffle and then he pulls me back and asks, "Are you okay?"

What the fuck? "Yes, confused but I'm fine."

He walks me over to a trailer and we go inside. It's so cool. There's a bench with a small table in front of it with a little kitchen. Above where the trailer connects to the truck there's a bed. Wow. I had no idea these even existed. We sit on the bench and he starts talking.

"Sidney, I'm so sorry."

I wrinkle my brows in confusion. "What are you sorry for? The fan taking pictures of you?"

He's rubbing his hand across his forehead. "That wasn't a fan. That was a reporter and the pictures he took will probably be splashed all over the TV, internet, papers and magazines within the hour."

"So you're not just local famous you're famous, famous." Not a question a statement. Fuck. I don't want my picture out there like that. "Is there something we can do to get the reporter to not release them? I can pay him."

He's chuckling. "Sorry sweetheart, I don't think you want to pay him what he could get for those pictures."

"There has to be something we can do. Can you have someone go get him and bring him here so I can talk to him?"

He's looking at me odd. "Are you married or something because I have to tell you women usually try to get their picture taken with me so it can be spread all over."

I shake my head. "No. I'm not married nor do I have someone special at the moment. Actually that's a part of why I'm here. I recently stopped seeing someone very special and needed some time away. Can you please have someone find him and bring him back here?"

He stands up, tells me he'll see what he can do and leaves the trailer. A few minutes later he comes back and tells me he has someone looking for the guy. He has to leave and get ready for the race but I'm welcome to stay and wait, if they can find the guy they're going to be bringing him back here. Also that one of the girls will come and get me if he races before then. I stand give him a hug and kiss on the cheek and wish him luck. With that he leaves.

About fifteen minutes later a guy brings the reporter in and says, "I'll be right outside, if you need me holler."

"Thank you."

The reporter is looking at me in disgust. This may not go the way I want. I smile at him and invite him to sit. When he does I start pleading my case. "I'm sorry to interrupt your job but I'd appreciate it if you would hear me out." He nods so I continue. "I am a very private person and would like to buy the pictures you took of us. There is no story. I met Derik and some of his friends last night. They were kind enough to invite me to have dinner with them. While we were eating I asked what they were doing here and that lead to them inviting me here tonight to watch the races. I literally just found out Derik is famous for racing but still have no clue who he is. I'm not married nor do I have a significant other, I'm just a private person and would rather not have my picture everywhere and people invading my privacy to find out who I am."

"Lady, I can make a grand off each picture. These are going to be sought after and I really don't care if it invades your privacy."

He goes to stand up, "WAIT! Hang on. How about a deal? A good deal?"

"I'm listening."

Son of a bitch. "Okay, how about I pay you two grand a picture and we pick one of the ones for you to sell where you can't make out my entire face?"

He's thinking it over and grins at me. "I'll counter with everything you said along with a one on one interview with Derik."

"I can't promise the interview but I can do my damnedest to persuade him. Will that work?"

"Yes ma'am but I'd like the money up front." He's smiling like the cat that ate the canary. Fucker thinks he has me over a barrel. Guess again.

"How many pictures do you have?" He turns his camera on so I get up and sit next to him to see what he's doing. I don't want him to pull a fast one on me. There are a total of six pictures that show my face enough for someone to recognize me. The others I don't care about. "I counted six that I want deleted. That's twelve grand." I go back to my side of the bench and get an envelope out of my purse. I start counting the money out on the table and his eyes are huge. He set the camera on the table to watch me so I know he's not copying any and saving them for later. When I've got twelve counted out I stack it together nice and neat. I hold it out for him and when he reaches for it I tell him, "Hand over the camera and I'll give you this."

He gets all pissy. "You never said my camera. No deal."

"I'm not trying to take your camera I want to be the one to delete the pictures so calm your ass down."

"Oh." He hands me the camera, I hand him the money.

When the pictures are deleted I hand it back to him. "Wait up a second. I have one more thing to say. If I find my picture taken at the track even without Derik anywhere near me and I'm linked to his name I will find you and ruin you. Do you understand?"

The look on his face is priceless. I've shocked him. "You can threaten me all you want. I'm not afraid of you."

"Let me put it this way. You have no idea who I am and that's fine with me but you should be very afraid of me and my reach. See, all I have to do is ask who you are and will be told. It won't be so easy for you to find out who I am."

He has a pure evil smile. "You think? I have my camera with your fingerprints all over it lady. Fuck with me and see what I do with them. Not one single part of your life would be private. Not even when you take a shit."

I laugh at him. What a stupid little fuck. "Alright sparky let me teach you how to play with the big dogs. I had your camera and while I had it in my possession I wiped my prints off of it and handed it back to you _by the strap_. That's lesson one. I also just pulled twelve grand out of my purse like chump change, think about that for a minute. That's lesson two. Refer back to my earlier statement of not to fuck with me. Now that's a _rule_ I expect you to follow. Are we clear?"

He's gone pale while I was speaking. I think he gets it now. He nods so I stand up, he does too and with that we leave without another word being said.

When I walk out of the trailer the girls are walking up to get me to watch the race. Perfect timing. Walking to where we'll watch I think about what I said to the reporter. I have to laugh to myself because he has no idea I was bullshitting. I have no reach. I don't know anyone in the journalism field. If you bullshit your way through something without tipping your hand people will believe you. It's true that I like my privacy though. If those pictures got out and Jack saw them that would hurt him and that's not something I'm willing to do. If I didn't care or have love for him I would have stayed but that's not who I am.

Jody hands me a little package and I realize they're ear plugs. As we get closer to the strip the girls still can't believe that I don't know who Derik is. I explain to them that they wouldn't know who the star of cardiac surgery would be but I would be fangirling. It's still lost on them so I leave it be. I get it. He's a celebrity. I see him as a normal person with a great talent. He was probably pissing himself last night when I didn't go spastic over him. Oh my god! I called him an ass and Casanova too funny. I put my earplugs in because it's loud right here and only going to get louder.

Robin bumps me and points to the lineup. HOLY HELL!! I'm in love with the car he's racing against. I love old cars but this one, wow. Derik's car is a new Camaro. The light turns and they take off. Derik is just a smidge ahead of the other guy when something happens and the other guy is totally out of the race. It seems like it only last five seconds for the whole thing. Everyone is jumping and screaming so I join in. I'm happy he won. Wait...he won! That means he gets the other guys car! "Wooooooooo!" I had to let it out. Haylie grabs my arm and gives me a tug in the direction they're all walking. This is so cool. I'll have to check if we have these events when I get back home. Not just that but now I want a race car to race too.

We get back to where the trailer and car are when all of the sudden I'm in the air flying around in circles. Instinctively I grab shoulders. I look and it's Derik smiling so big I think I can see every tooth in his mouth. "You're my good luck!"

He finally sets me down and I'm laughing he's so happy. I tell him, "You did that all on your own."

"No way, Sidney. Last night and now today, it's all you sweetheart."

"Do you race again?"

"Yep, so you can't leave yet."

"I wasn't going to. Can I speak to you in private for a minute?"

"Sure. You need to give me that kiss you've been dying to?"

"Wrong, Casanova. I need to tell you about the reporter."

"Come on." He takes my hand and leads me back into the trailer. When the door is shut I explain everything to him except the part of the threats that went back and forth. He even agreed to do the interview. Hey the guy deserves something. I'm the one who threatened first and he didn't have to sell the pictures to me. He could have been a huge dick instead he was a little prick.

After the races are over Derik wound up with the pink slip to the Chevelle that he raced first. The car I want. The car I'm going to talk him into selling me. Then I'm going to talk him into teaching me how to race it.

We're all talking and I hear a child squealing and it's getting closer. My stomach flips even though I know it's an excited squeal. Derik reaches down and snatches up a little girl and is spinning her around like he did to me. When he stops spinning her he asks, "Did you see Daddy win?" Well fuck me. I need to go.

She's shaking her head yes and then she's plucked from Derik's arms and into Drew's. She throws her arms around him and screams, "Daddy!" Then gives him a big kiss. She's not Derik's but I still need to go, she reminds of what happened to Sophia and I don't want to remember.

I tell Derik I need to go because I'm not feeling well. He comments on how pale I am and tries to drive me back to the hotel. I refuse because I need to be alone. I do ask him to have breakfast with me and he agrees to meet me at the Grille in the casino at eight. I say my goodbyes and leave.

Chapter

11

When I get to my room I take a shower and down a sleeping pill. I hate taking them but I need to shut down and get some sleep. I set the alarm on my phone for seven, climb in bed and turn the TV on.

The next thing I know someone is grabbing me and I'm screaming and trying to fight but I can't seem to get my arms and legs to cooperate. When I wake fully I'm in someone's arms and they're rocking me back and forth to soothe me. When I finally come all the way out of it there are a bunch of people in my room and Derik is the one holding me. What the fuck? I scramble off his lap and look at everyone. I ask no one in particular, "What the hell's going on?" My voice comes out all scratchy and my throat hurts.

A large man I'm assuming is security asks me, "Ma'am there were reports of screaming and when we knocked no one answered. You continued screaming, we assumed you were hurt so we let ourselves in. Are you okay now? Would you like us to call somebody?"

"What? No, I'm fine. I was having a nightmare for god's sake." I grab the bottle of water off the nightstand and drink some.

Haylie and Will are even here. She speaks softly to me. "Sidney, you've been screaming for almost half an hour. I called down and reported it because you wouldn't answer your door and you kept screaming. Then we called Derik because we thought maybe he knew what was happening."

Why the fuck would he know? Good grief. I plop back down on the bed and that's when I realize I only have on lace boy shorts and a tank top. Great! I snatch the sheet and cover myself, tell them I'm fine and ask everyone to leave. I look at the clock and it's six-thirty. What a way to start the day. I thank them and they all leave except Derik. He's just staring at me.

"What?" I snap at him.

He looks down and then back up at me. "I'm sorry but, Sidney, those weren't normal nightmare screams. Are you sure you're okay?"

I close my eyes to try and gather my thoughts and calm down. I look at him and give him a tight smile. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you I'm just...I had to take a sleeping pill last night. That's why I was trapped in my dreams and didn't hear the knocking. I don't take them often but I didn't feel well last night and just wanted to sleep. Thank you for your help."

He comes and sits on the bed next to me. "Since we're up how about breakfast?"

"That sounds good. Do you mind if I take a shower first?"

"As long as you don't mind me waiting in your living room for you."

I look him in the eye when I speak. "I really am fine, you don't have to stay here. You probably want to go get cleaned up yourself. I can meet you down there in a half hour."

He lifts his arm up and sniffs under it and does the same with the other one. "I don't stink do I?" He smiles at me. "No worries, I was already up and ready for the day. I was actually down in the casino when Haylie called. I only got a few hours of sleep from being so excited about last night. I know it sounds ridiculous but that's what got me into professional racing, so to go back to the root of it all is still exciting." He jumps up off the bed and says, "Okay, go get ready while I watch TV," and walks out of the room.

I go in the bathroom and take a quick shower. When I step out my feet come out from under me. I try to catch myself but wind up hurting my wrist. Of course when I fell I let out a yelp. This is going to be one of those days. The bathroom door flings open and Derik is running in, his eyes huge. All I can do is shut my eyes and take a deep breath.

When I open them he spins around so he's not staring at me in all my glory. If I wouldn't have been in such a hurry I might have remembered to put down the bath mat and gotten myself a towel too.

"Are you alright?"

"Kind of, maybe, no not really. Could you please hand me a couple of towels so I can cover myself up?" He hands me the towels without looking at me. I lay one on the floor so I can stand up without slipping again. When I'm up I wrap the other one around me. "Okay, I'm covered up now."

He turns around and asks, "Where are you hurt?"

I wipe my feet on the towel I'm standing on so I can go to the bedroom. "My wrist. I slipped and tried to catch myself, which was stupid to begin with."

He follows me into the bedroom and sits in a chair. "Not stupid. It's an automatic reaction to try and catch yourself."

I go to my suitcase and pull out my first aid kit. I also grab my robe and put it on. I sit back on the bed and ask him if he can wrap it for me.

He's looking at me like I'm crazy. "No. I think you should go to a walk in medical clinic and have an x-ray to make sure it's not broken."

"It's not fractured, just a minor sprain."

"How do you know? I'll wrap it and take you to the doctor." He walks over and sits next to me taking the first aid kit from me.

"You do know I'm a nurse right?" His head whips around with his forehead all scrunched up and shakes his head back and forth. "I thought I...oh I told the girls not you. I'm sorry. No, really it's just a minor sprain. You wrap it, I'll ice it and take some ibuprofen. It'll be good as new in no time."

After we take care of my wrist, I dress and we go down for breakfast. While waiting for our food to arrive I ask, "So what are you going to do with the Chevelle?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "Probably sell it to a classic car collector. I have enough cars at home and it's not the one I was hoping to win. Plus the engine is blown and I don't feel like messing with it."

This puts a smile on my face. "Can I buy it from you?"

"No." He says this with a straight face so I know he's not joking.

My smile drops and so does my spirit. "Why not? You're selling it anyways."

He smiles at me, fucker. "Because, I'll give it to you." Okay so maybe I was being a little harsh in calling him a fucker.

"No, I can't let you do that but I will buy it from you. Name a price."

He leans back in his chair and his cocky face returns. "Okay. A dinner date, just the two of us."

I sigh and now his smile fades. "Derik, you know I just ended a relationship. I don't want to date anyone right now. Why me? From what I understand you're sought after by plenty of women."

He leans forward and rests his forearms on the table. "Because you had no idea who I was and when you found out you still treated me like a normal person. And you're not afraid to speak your mind and tell me when I'm being an ass. You're beautiful, funny and kind. Should I keep going or does that answer your question?"

I can feel my cheeks heat a little. I don't take compliments easily. "Yes and thank you. If we would have met at another time I would have no problem accepting the date but since it's not do you think we could take that off the table and be friends?"

I can tell he's disappointed. "Sure, we can be friends."

My smile comes back and it's a big cheesy one. "Good. Now let me buy the car from you and one more thing. Will you teach me how to race it like you did last night?"

He scowls at me. "Is that why you want the car so bad?" I nod my head excitedly like a child and he laughs at me. "Okay here's my proposal. I give you the car," I start to interrupt but he holds his hand up to let him finish, so I do. "But you use my guys to rebuild it and pay them for their work. I will teach you to drag race but I won't be able to help very often because of my schedule. If you give me some time I can find someone to help and practice with you, someone I trust to instruct you, if you want."

After breakfast and more coffee than I should have had we worked out all of the details. He has a friend that owns a shop in his hometown that will be rebuilding the engine for me. I will plan my trips to Texas when he's home so he can help teach me the ins and outs of drag racing. His words 'so you won't just race you'll also win the races'. When it's all said and done I'll have a car and a NHRA Competition License. I'm so excited I could swim the coast home plus I really shouldn't have had all the coffee I did.

His group is headed home today and I was thinking maybe I should cancel the condo and head home myself. A lot has happened in two days that has my mindset in a different direction instead of focusing on the memories. I'll also be able to make an appointment with my counselor and see her quicker than anticipated.

Using my phone to check flights leaving today I see I'm in luck. There's one leaving around noon so I book a ticket. I have some time so I hit the slots one more time. I walk around and find a slot machine with seven's and fireballs. When I sit down I realize it's a five dollar slot machine and figure what the hell. I pop a few hundred dollars in hit the max bet and am having fun. The waitress comes around and I get a water from her. God knows I don't need anything with caffeine. I open the bottle take a drink, hit the spin button and proceed to choke because I just hit some kind of jackpot!!! When I'm done with my coughing fit someone to my left says, "Congratulations." I look and see she works here because she's wearing a name tag and explaining that they'll be right over with the paperwork and money after she takes my government issued ID and my social security card. They would also like to take a picture of me with a check saying how much I won.

"How much did I win?"

She smiles and her eyes are dancing in the lights. "Fifty-two thousand dollars."

WHAT!?! Holy shit it's a damn good thing I'm sitting down. Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm shaking. What should I do? I'll text Derik and see if he can come to where I am. I can't jump around by myself.

Me: Hey its Sid are you busy?

Derik: What's up sweetheart?

Me: Can you come to the casino floor where the $5 slots are?

Derik: You ok?

Me: Yup can you come?

Derik: On my way.

I look up and shit there are a ton of people hanging around me. When they see I've put my phone in my pocket they all congratulate me and start going on about their business.

I'm staring at the machine in awe when I hear, "You've got to be shitting me."

I turn around and there's Derik with the rest of his friends in tow. I jump up and run the couple of steps to hug him. He's laughing, I'm laughing and so is everyone else. I let him go and hug everyone else too. The girls ask how much I won and I squeal, "Fifty-two thousand dollars!"

They start squealing too, grab my good hand and we start jumping up and down. When we stop I look at Derik and see him smiling shaking his head back and forth. I step next to him and bump him with my shoulder while saying, "I bet you wish you would have sold me the car now, huh?"

"Nope. I have and make a lot of money sweetheart, don't need yours. What I do need is your luck. Damn woman, you've won almost fifty-five thousand dollars just from the little time I've spent with you. I'd say you have the direct line on it." If he only knew I have no luck in the things that matter in life.

There are three employees that come and congratulate me, give me my money and the 'big check' for the picture. I ask if the rest of my party can be in the picture and they agree. We're all in front of the check but I hold it up so you can only see from my eyes up. It's a good thing I'm the shortest out of the rest. Like I said, I like my privacy and only my first name and last initial will go up with the picture.

After we've said our goodbyes I go to my room to pack up and head to the airport bound for home. I also shoot Tasha a text.

Me: Should be home around 2

Tasha: Yay! Need a ride?

Me: Would love it. Meet you at baggage claim?

Tasha: See you soon

Me: Thanks. Much to tell

Tasha: So I see

What the hell does that mean? Something must be going on. Shit, I hope Jack is okay.

\

Chapter

12

While waiting in line to board I put my phone on airplane mode and shut it off. When we're in the air and allowed to use electronics I turn my phone back on to finally read all of the texts from Jack. I've ignored every single one he sent. I didn't want to deal with anything. Since I'm on my way home I figured I better catch up on what he's feeling. There are five texts from him.

Fri 11:48 pm: Call me

Sat 1:23 am: Sidney this is not fair. Please call me.

Sat 7:56 pm: You don't get to decide what's best for me.

Sun 2:11 am: WTF? Is he the reason you left me?

Oh hell, someone recognized me from the picture with Derik. That must be what Tasha was talking about.

Sun 11:16 am: I just want to talk

When we land I turn my phone on and text Jack.

Me: If you're not working my house 6 for dinner?

Jack: I'll be there

I meet Tasha at baggage claim and give her the rundown on my trip while on our way home.

She looks over at me quickly and I can tell she wants to say something. "Just say it."

"Jack's not taking this too well. I just want you to be prepared. And how is it wherever you go you attract all the hotties and turn them down. Sidney, you of all people should not be single."

"I do not! And let me remind you I would still be with Jack but he deserves more than I can give him otherwise we'd still be together."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I whip my head to look at her and she's mad. Why the fuck is she pissed at me? "You give everyone and when I say everyone I mean even the cashier at the store one hundred percent of yourself. So this shit about not being enough for Jack is just that, shit. Every person you date, and take an interest in, you find something you don't like and then kick them to the curb. That's called being selfish. You compromise, not say adios."

Now I'm pissed. She may be my best friend but she doesn't know me. No one knows the real me. I'm not good enough for Jack, I know that, so how is breaking up with him so he can find a woman that can give him everything being selfish? Fuck her and anybody else that thinks that.

"I'm not going to say anything because I don't want to say something I don't mean." The rest of the drive is quiet. When we get to the house I thank her for the ride, grab my bags and go home. Now I'm in a shit mood and still need to go to the store so I can cook dinner and talk to Jack.

While I'm at the store I get a text from Derik.

Derik: Mon the 17th. Your car will be ready and I have a few days off. Can you fly in?

I squeal like a little kid in the meat department while bouncing up and down. People can see the phone in my hand so they can just keep on looking. It's not like they haven't seen someone exited before.

Me: I'll be there!!

Derik: We'll talk soon

I'm making lasagna with garlic bread and a salad. Comfort food. I think we could both use some at this point. I'm mixing the salad listening to my music, which I should turn down, going over what to say in my head when someone grabs me around the waist. Half the salad goes flying as I scream bloody murder. I round on the person and Jack's standing there with his hands up in a 'don't shoot' position with a piece of cucumber on his shoulder. All I can do is laugh and hold my hand over my heart. He scared the bejesus out of me. He walks over and turns my music down. "Sorry, you were expecting me so I didn't think I'd scare you."

I'm on the floor picking up the salad from my spaz attack while trying to calm my heart rate. "It's okay. I was in my head and didn't hear you come in." I keep my head down because his eyes have darker bags under them than I've ever seen. I did that to him and it makes me want to cry. He must hear the anguish in my voice because he bends down and grabs my hands so I'll look at him. When I do he pulls me up and wraps his arms around me. He's consoling me and that's what makes me lose the battle with holding back the tears.

"Jack, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and...and you deserve so much better than me." I'm sobbing and I know he probably couldn't understand me but I had to tell him.

He squeezes me tighter rubbing his hand up and down my back. "Breathe. Calm down and breathe."

When I feel I have my emotions under control I loosen my grip and in return he does the same. I step back mumble a thanks and finish cleaning up the floor. Jack grabs two placemats, the plates, salad bowls and silverware. This is or was our normal routine.

While I'm putting the garlic bread in the oven he says, "Can you tell me about the picture of you and that guy?"

I close the oven and go stand next to the counter where he can see my eyes. I want him to know there isn't someone else. "Yes, I can. When I left here I went to Biloxi. When I was playing a slot machine he tried to hit on me. I told him no way and even called him an ass." This got a chuckle from him and it makes me smile. "Anyways. He invited me to dinner at a steak house in the casino with a group of people he was with. I went instead of eating alone. I needed to keep my mind busy. At dinner I found out that they were racecar drivers-"

"Wait, you didn't know who he was?"

I shake my head. "Nope. Had no clue. Still don't really but I know he's famous and his brother is an up and coming driver. So Brian's wife, Judy, asked me if I'd like to go to the races the next night with them to watch. I accepted. Now here's the thing, before we went to eat I won over two thousand dollars so Derik was calling me lucky. Then after dinner some of us went and played blackjack and we won there too. So the whole thing with the picture is him trying to show me his car and hauler. The reporter jumped in front of us and started snapping pictures and hurling questions Derik turned me so he could protect me, that's it. Nothing more. No handholding, kissing, nothing. I'm not looking for someone else, Jack. I just don't feel like I can be enough for you. Oh, and before I left this morning I was playing a slot machine, a five dollar one by mistake, and won. You ready for this? Fifty-two thousand dollars!"

He jumps off the stool and grabs me up swinging me around. "That's awesome, Sid!"

"I know!"

When he sets me down he cups my face and rubs his thumbs across my cheeks. "You're plenty enough for me. Sidney, I-"

"Don't. Please, don't." The oven timer goes off and I'm saved from having to be so close to him. I felt like he was going to tell me he loves me. That's what his eyes were saying. Stupid tears are running down my face again so I brush them away and get the bread and lasagna out of the oven.

While we're eating Jack is trying to tell me not to keep us apart. That we're good together. He's been trying to figure out if he did something wrong or if I wasn't interested anymore. He didn't listen to a word I wrote in the letter. Rejection is hard. Even though it's spelled out that it has nothing to do with you, you're always going to find a way to blame yourself. I should know, my parents were cold people. I always thought it was me but now I know it was them.

"Jack, we're not in the same place. There is so much you don't even know about me."

"Give me a chance to find out."

I shut my eyes and shake my head. "I can't. I'm sorry. I have so much love for you but I'm not in love with you."

"Ouch. That stings."

"I'm sorry. It hurts me too. If I was able to deal with what happened to Sophia-" He cuts me off.

"About that, I saw you leaving the funeral home."

Shit, shit, double shit. "Yeah?"

"I talked to the funeral director. Funny thing is I went to pay for a proper funeral for her to be laid to rest, come to find out someone already had. And I mean they picked out the best of everything. Even a headstone and to top that off a beautiful sitting bench in the cemetery with her name and an inscription. What made you do that?"

"The same reason you were going to do it."

"Honey, do you have that kind of money now that you're out of a job?"

"Yes. I still have some money from when my parents died. And I won all that money too."

"You'll come to me if you need anything?"

"Does that mean you're not mad at me and you'll still be my friend?"

"I wasn't mad. Frustrated, hurt, confused, but not mad. I'll always be your friend. It's hard to think of not being wrapped around you in bed. Coming here, to a home, to see you after long shifts and shitty days at the hospital. Or all the great meals you make me. You've spoiled me, Sidney."

Why do I have to be so fucked up? "I'll miss it all too. I want you to know I'm not looking for someone else. I have an appointment to start seeing my therapist again."

Oops. He's cocked his head at me because I've never mentioned going to therapy before. Way to go Sid! "Did you start seeing someone after your parents passed away?"

I nod my head and get up from the stool to rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. I'm done with this conversation.

I sent the leftovers home with Jack. I told him about the car from Derik and how I'll be learning to drive it. He didn't like the idea but said he's glad a professional is teaching me.
Epilogue

I had a blast in Texas every time I went, except the last. That was when I went for Derik's funeral. There was a terrible accident the week after I got my NHRA license. He never got to see me compete but I swore I'd win every single time for him. I know he was watching and helping me because I won all but two of my races. I wasn't racing at the tracks though, I was doing the illegal drags. After my second loss I took the car in and had everything redone so it could be an everyday driving car with a decent engine. She's my baby. It's what I have left of Derik. He wound up becoming a great friend. He was a very patient teacher that had me in stitches most of the time with his cockiness. I miss him.

Jack and I are back to our pre-dating selves. Tasha and I, of course, made up and I've come a long way with my therapy. She and Danny were worried about me for a while. I had the fuck it attitude toward everything after Derik passed. You know the kind, where it doesn't matter what you do because we're all going to die anyways? Yeah, I went through a couple of phases. Racing, partying and one night stands. Then that turned into no racing and a fuck buddy. Ten months later and I'm feeling like myself again. No more one night stands or fuck buddies. I want to meet a nice man and settle down. I'm not actively looking. I figure it'll happen when it happens.

This was just my beforeplay.

### Here is a sneak peek at

## My Secret to Keep

_Now Available_

Chapter 1

June

### SIDNEY

I'm sitting in my living room doing some work on my laptop when I hear the door open. I know it must be Danny because Tasha is still at work. They're my neighbors and best friends. We don't bother knocking anymore. As much as we run in and out of each other's homes, it's too much of a hassle.

"Hey Danny. What's up?" I say, turning around.

_Damn_. He has someone with him who is freaking gorgeous. I've never seen this guy before. I can't stop staring. He's about 6'2 with dirty blonde shortly cropped hair, sky blue eyes, a wide bright smile, strong jaw, broad shoulders and pretty lips. Yup, pretty lips because they are just that. They belong on a woman. I can tell he works out and keeps himself in shape. I also know I'm drooling. _Wet t-shirt contest!_ Danny just chuckles. He knows what's going through my mind.

Danny introduces us. "Hey Sid. This is Sam. Sam, this is Sidney." He comes and gives me a big bear hug.

Sam gives me a mega smile and holds out his hand to shake. "Hi, Sidney. Nice to meet you."

I reach my hand out and take his. He has a nice, firm handshake. I like him already. "You too."

"I can't believe Danny's never told me he had such a beautiful neighbor."

I smile at him. I know I'm blushing. I can feel it in my cheeks. "So how do you two know each other?"

"We went to high school together." They say at the same time.

We all laugh and I get a really good look at him. "Did you move away? I don't remember seeing you around." I already know the answer because if I would have seen him I wouldn't have forgotten. He's so good looking you can't forget.

"Yeah, I joined the Air Force after college. I'm stationed in England right now."

I smile at him and think about him in a uniform, _YUM!_ "I'm so rude, sorry. You guys want to sit and have something to drink?"

"No thanks. We just dropped by real quick to see if you wanted to come over tonight for a coming home party. He's here on leave for a couple weeks." Danny looks at his watch. "Tasha will be home in about an hour to start cooking. You should come over and visit with her while she gets everything ready."

He's not fooling me. "Visit huh? Not cook anything myself or bring some of the goodies I already made?"

His expression changes. His eyes plead and the corners of his mouth tip up slightly. "What did you make? Please tell me it's my favorite."

I feign innocence. "If you like chewy brownies with homemade peanut butter frosting, then yes."

Before I can get past the word brownies he's heading to fridge to get them. I love to cook and bake. I made them for him anyways, he just got them sooner rather than later. Before I make it into the kitchen he has them out, open and cut into. "You have to share."

He grumbles at me but shares them anyway, only because he doesn't know I made them for him. Otherwise he wouldn't share at all.

Sam acts like he hasn't had anything sweet to eat in ten years and dives into them right behind Danny. They praise my baking skills and I don't think I can smile any bigger.

When Danny's done licking his fingers, he tells me, "Why don't you text Tasha and let her know you'll come over to help and visit with her."

"Okay." I walk with them to the door.

"Thanks, Sid. So we'll see you in about an hour then?"

"Yup, see ya then." I look at Sam, "Nice meeting you, Sam."

He turns his head and grins at me. "You too, Sidney."

After they leave, I close the door. Shit, of all the days to sit around in my bummy house clothes with my hair piled on top of my head in a messy knot and no make-up on. I'm not one to wear much make-up to begin with. I live in Florida for god sakes. It would just melt off anyway.

I'm sure he was flirting a bit by the way he was looking at me. I didn't see a wedding ring. That doesn't mean anything nowadays though. If he's not married, he probably has a girlfriend.

I can tell he knows he's good looking by the way he carries himself. I hope he's not a dick. Really, dick or not, I'd still like to see him in uniform. God, I love a man in uniform. I'm not prejudice. It could be the delivery guy or a mechanic. As long as a man's sporting a uniform, I'm gawking. Mmm hmm.

I must need to get laid. It's been a while now that I think about it.

I text Tash to see if she needs me to do anything before she gets home...and, of course, get the low _down on Sam._

Me: DO NOT REPEAT! Is he married/girlfriend?

Tasha: I see you met Sam. Neither

Me: YES!! I'm helping you cook. What do you want me to do before you get here?

Tasha: Nothing. Be there in about 30.

Me: Okie Dokie. Love Ya!

Tasha: You too!

I think I'll run to the liquor store and pick up a few things. I'll get Sam a welcome home bottle of JW Blue Label. It'll be a 'thank you' for serving our country too. I change clothes quickly, put my sandals on, grab my purse and head out the door. I wonder if they've got everything they need yet.

I walk across the yard and go into Tash's house. I yell out, "Danny!"

Sam walks into the living room wearing only a pair of shorts. It looks like he just got out of the shower.

Damn, what a body and the tattoos. Just an extra helping of the yumminess he already has going on.

"He had to run over to his mom's. Did you need him or is it something I can help you with?"

"I...ah, I'm heading to the liquor store and was wondering if you guys needed anything."

"Well, if you don't mind, could I ride along? I'd like to get a few more things. I went to the store this afternoon but, with word getting out about me being home, I think I'd better get some more."

"I don't mind at all." Nope. Not. At. All.

"Let me finish getting dressed and we can head out."

"Okay. I'll go start the car and get the air going." I leave, go get my baby started and back her into the driveway from the garage.

I watch Sam's face as he walks through the yard. I love the look on people's faces when they see my car. I know girls shouldn't love their cars like I do, but I can't help it. She has so many great memories and is so beautiful.

My guess is Danny didn't mention my baby to him. Yup. I'm a proud mama _._

The look on his face is priceless. He's stunned. He gets in and looks around the inside without saying a word. He's rubbing the leather on the seat and a slow smile creeps across his lips.

"Let me tell you about my baby. She's a 1970 Chevelle LS6 with a 454 4 speed, and is about as bad ass as they come. I had her painted Cherry Candy Red with a high-gloss for depth. I want people to see her and feel like they could stick their hand in the paint. I also bought the softest leather I could find for the seats."

### SAM

I'm impressed with this girl. She's beautiful. She has long dark brown hair, light blue eyes, and lips that are begging to be kissed. She's maybe five foot three, thin like a runner, a decent rack, a great ass, and her face isn't painted all up. Plus her car is fucking awesome!

Something has to be seriously wrong with her. Why else is she single? She's beautiful, seems nice, speaks intelligently, and has a man's wet dream of a car. I'd bet she is C.R.A.Z.Y. Danny has only said good things about her though.

"If I'm really, really nice will you let me drive back?" I ask her hoping to test out the speed.

"Not a chance in hell! Ask Danny. He's been begging for a year now. No way! Not happening. She's my baby. If something happens to her at the hands of someone else, I'd literally hurt someone."

"Okaaay." I'm a little shocked at how attached she is to this car.

We pull in the parking lot of the liquor store, get out and go in. She grabs a buggy so I walk along with her. She's putting all sorts of stuff in the cart. Three cases of different kinds of beer. Vodka, tequila, gin, mixers and sodas.

"Damn girl! Please tell me you're not going to drink all of that by yourself. Or are you having a party too?"

"No. Just a couple things I'll drink but I needed to stock the house back up for when I have company."

"Good. You had me scared for a minute."

I grab a couple cases of beer and we head to the checkout. When we get to the counter the cashier says, "Hey, Cherry. How're you doing?" _Cherry?_

She smiles at him and replies, "I'm good, Jim. Can I get a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label, please?"

Damn! She must make some good money. I wonder what she does. She has an expensive home and vehicle. I know she's single and lives alone.

I don't have to wait long because a minute later I have my answer.

When Jim gets the bottle and starts ringing her up he asks, "Will you be at the strip..."

I shut down as soon as I hear the word strip. Yup. I knew it. She's a stripper. Fuck the luck.

There's nothing wrong with strippers, just the crazy ones I've fucked, so I have sworn off fucking strippers all together. _Damn it!_ Nope, no it doesn't matter how put together she looks or is, I'm not going there EVER. AGAIN. She just got put in the friend zone.

When she's paid, I check out and we leave. I load everything in the trunk and we head back to the house.

I have to say I'm a bit disappointed. How could I not be? I know one thing, I'm going to throttle Danny. He never said _anything_ about her profession. I ask him to introduce me to someone and this is what he does to me. I bet he's laughing his fucking ass off. _Bastard!_

Sidney glances over at me on the drive and asks, "How long are you staying with Danny and Tasha?"

"The whole two weeks. I prefer to stay with friends. I love my parents but they're used to it being just the two of them. Sometimes they forget I'm home on leave and I _do not_ want a repeat of what happened the last time I came home." I shudder just having to say it. "I have cousins that I'm close with. They're like brothers to me but they all live together. With five of them, sometimes it's too much, even for me. You'll meet them. They're all coming to the party tonight and you'll see exactly what I mean." I roll my eyes and grin.

She gives a light chuckle. "That bad, huh?"

I shrug my shoulders. She'll have to see for herself. I bet the tag team goes after her. That's what I call my twin cousins. They're fucking nuts. There aren't many boundaries they won't cross.

### SIDNEY

When we pull up in the driveway, I notice Tasha is home. We take everything of Sam's, and a few things I picked up for Tash and Danny, into their house. I give her a big hug then we start to put stuff in the coolers.

I love this girl. She's had a hard life because of the way her family is. They're a bunch of drunken assholes with men coming and going because of her needy mother. We're kind of the same in a way. She never became her mother and isn't a drunk like the rest of them. Just like I never became either of my parents.

"Okay girlie! What do you want me to do when we get all of this stuff put away?"

"Well, that depends. Do you want to slice and dice or mix and stir?" I hear the smile in her voice because she knows which one I'll pick.

I stand up and look at her. "Duh, mix and stir of course," we both laugh.

"Okay ladies," Sam interrupts. "I'm going to go take a nap unless you need my help with something else."

Tasha tells him, "No. You go get rested up for your party, we've got everything else covered. Thanks, Sam."

I smile and tell him, "Sweet dreams." He nods and heads down the hall.

I look over at Tash and she has an odd expression on her face. "Everything okay? You look a little off."

"Yeah, just a long work day." I can tell she's lying. Something is on her mind.

"Spill. What is it?"

"Okay, I know you want the scoop on Sam so here it is. He's a manwhore. I love him and he never promises anything more than a good time to the girls he's with, but still. He's a nice guy and a good friend but I don't think you should get involved with him. Besides, he leaves to go back to England in a couple of weeks. I love you too much to see you get involved in something like that right now."

I stop dumping the ingredients into the bowl for the crab salad and sigh. "You don't have to worry about that. I don't think he's interested in me. He seemed to be flirting with me on our way to the store and then, on our way home, he was umm...different." I start adding the stuff to the bowl again. "I don't know how to explain it, just different. Plus, you know I'm not looking for a fling. I mean, the man is gorgeous but I've been out of my booty call stage for a while now. Although, if I look at him long enough I'm sure I could be put right back in it."

She peeks her head around the fridge door and gives me the 'come on, really' look. "I'm sure he's just tired. Look, you're both adults. Just remember what I said about him. Okay?"

I nod. "So what all are we making?"

"I thought we could do some finger foods, the crab and some pasta salad. Danny said something about a barbeque on Sunday, so we'll do real food then. Can you make the salsa, dill dip and your baked sandwich?"

"Sure, but--"

"I bought a tube of bread dough for it, I knew you wouldn't have enough time to make your own." She knows me too well. "While you make that, I'll chop and dice everything for the salsa. I think that will be enough. Also Danny is picking up the cake I ordered."

"WHAT?" I look at Tasha and her eyes are tightly shut with her shoulders scrunching up almost to her ears. Oh yeah, she realizes she fucked up. "I can't believe you ordered a cake! Why didn't you just ask me to make one? My cakes are the bomb! You know you can't buy that kind of love and flavor from a bakery."

She opens her eyes and her shoulders drop. Looking at me sheepishly she says, "I know but I didn't know if you had the time. I forgot about it until last night so I just ordered one this morning. How about you make one for Sunday? Would that make you feel better?" Now she's grinning at me.

"Yes, it would," I say like a five-year old. "You know you can't cheat on me like that. That's the ultimate betrayal and you damn well know it!" I pause for effect and continue. "I'll let it slide this time but don't let it happen again." I bump her with my hip and give her a big smile.

Chapter

2

### SAM

Finally! I've been keeping an eye on the door so I could see her the minute she got here. I don't want any of my friends to try and snatch her up before I get the chance to. Clarity came with a little help from my nap. I'm not looking for a relationship so we can fuck while I'm home. What's the harm if she's game? None. If she does go crazy I'll be across an ocean where she can't get to me. She's walking towards us and as she gets closer I notice she has a bruise on her cheekbone. What the fuck happened? "Hey, Sidney. What happened to your cheek?"

"Um...well I'm a bit of a klutz." Her cheeks turn pink. "When I was putting my shorts on I caught my toe and tripped, I caught myself from hitting the floor but I did it by catching the side of my face on my dresser." Now she's chuckling and you can see she's embarrassed. She waves to her cheek and says, "This is nothing. You should see some of the things I've done to myself." We all laugh. She looks straight at me, "Are you going to introduce me to your friends now that everyone knows gravity wreaks havoc in my life?" They all chuckle again.

I give my head a little shake to get my thoughts back on track. "Sorry. These are my cousins I was telling you about." I point to each of the guys as I introduce them. "Jacob, Jeremy, Jesse, Josh and Joel. Guys this is Sidney, Danny and Tasha's friend and neighbor."

### SIDNEY

Oh my god! Sam's cousins are cootchie puckering gorgeous just like him. Tall, muscled and tatted. Yum! Notes to self: Jacob: 6'4, short dark brown hair that's messy spiked on the top in a faux hawk, bright blue eyes, full lips. _Holy Hell!_ He has muscles on top of muscles. Jeremy: 6'3, light brown hair, blue eyes. You can tell they're all related. Jesse: 6'3, dark short hair with darker blue eyes. He's almost as bulky as Jacob. Josh and Joel: 6'3, messy dark hair, both have blue eyes. Their tattoos are peeking out from their shirts more than the others.

I shake everybody's hand. I know it seems weird but that's just me. Human contact is a personable thing and I like it. To me when you touch someone you can get a feeling of their personality by the vibe they give you. And let me just say I get a damn good vibe in my panties from them all but especially Jacob.

I turn to Sam and give him the bottle of Johnnie Walker I bought him. "Welcome home and thank you for your service." He gives me a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you so much. You didn't have to but I appreciate it."

"You're more than welcome." I notice his hand stays on the small of my back after the hug.

I look back to the rest of the group. "Sam tells me you guys live around here." I know I'm an idiot but it's all I can come up with because my underpants have melted and are now running down my leg along with my brains.

Jacob answers me. "Yeah. We all live and work together. I have a PI business. Myself, Jeremy and Jesse are all Bail Enforcement Agents also." He clasps Sam on the shoulder. "We were just trying to recruit Sam here to come work with us when his enlistment is up. We do a lot of business catching skips and I think he would like that best. I mean chicks dig bad asses. Right, Sidney?"

Sam scoffs at Jacob. "Hey Jackass quit trying to hit on her. You haven't even given her time to take y'all in. You guys together are a little intimidating with your size." He's just as big as they are and it makes me laugh to myself.

Jacob grins and looks me up and down while saying, "Nah, I can read people. Sidney's not intimidated. If she was she wouldn't have shook our hands and stuck around talking to us."

I look him straight in the eye. "You're absolutely right, Jacob, on both counts. If you guys will excuse me I'm going to see if Tash needs any help. It was nice meeting you all." I walk away heading for the coolers, I need a drink. I need my vibrator more than a drink right now but it would be rude to whip that out in the middle of a party.

### SAM

I turn and glare at Jacob. "What the fuck? You scared her off quicker than you do the girls you're trying to hook up with." We all crack up. "Thanks a lot, bastard." _Wait!_ "Are you trying to hook up with her?"

"No, I'm not. I've watched you waiting for someone and when she walked in you were done looking. Not hard to figure out you're interested, _bastard_. Bro code, man. Do you even know anything about her?"

"Yes, but not much. She lives next door, strips, her stage name is Cherry and she doesn't have any family. Her parents were killed in a car accident. Oh, you should see her baby." Damn that car is fucking impressive.

Jacob's eyes widen. "She has a baby?"

"Yeah, her baby is a 1970 Chevelle with a 454 4 speed. And to quote her 'as bad ass as they come'. She calls it her baby. That car can haul ass. When you sit in it you can't just hear it but can feel it rumbling from the power. I kid you not, I chubbed up. I've never seen a chick love a car like she does hers. Hell, I love it. You should ask her to see it." Just talking about it, all I can think of is getting behind the wheel and putting the pedal all the way to the floor.

Jacob snaps his fingers in my face. "Sam, pay attention! I'm asking about her not her fucking car. Just be careful you know how you and strippers work out." They're all laughing. "She is quite the little package though. On second thought you'd better stay away. Maybe I should ask her out."

"Fuck you, you bastard!" They can laugh all they want at me. I won't have the same problems I had with the other stripper. I leave for a different fucking country in two weeks. "I'm going to find people that are nice to me and are happy I'm home."

I walk around socializing with everybody enjoying myself. All I can think about is getting Sidney alone. I wonder if she'll let me come home with her after the party and if not if she has plans for tomorrow. I wouldn't mind hitting the beach for the afternoon.

I look around for her and _son of a bitch!_ I thought Jacob said 'bro code' and shit. He has his arm across her shoulders and she's got her arm around his waist with her head back laughing. Damn she's beautiful. I walk up to them, "What's this bastard telling you to make you laugh like that?"

Sidney puts her hand on her chest as she tries to calm down from laughing. "Oh my god! He was telling me about a skip he had."

"He likes to embellish. Don't let him fool you."

"Isn't that what makes a story all the better?" She smiles at me. _Gorgeous._

Jacob asks me, "Are you not on our time yet? You seem a little grouchy."

I shoot him a look. "Nah, still a little jet lagged I guess." I turn and look Sidney in those beautiful blue eyes she's sporting. "Hey, Sid, I was thinking of going to the beach tomorrow, you up for it?"

"Sounds like fun but I'm busy 'til late afternoon." She pauses like she's mulling something over then looks at us all and says, "I'm having a couple of friends over tomorrow around 6 for dinner and to play some drunk pool volleyball, you guys are welcome to come join the fun. I'm making Mexican food to go with the margaritas. And a Mexican fruit cake for dessert. I promise you'll have fun."

"That sounds like a blast. You guys in?" Jacob asks me and his brothers. _What a bastard_. I'm seriously ready to kick his ass for cock blocking.

### SIDNEY

There goes that sideways glance again. I think Sam is irritated with Jacob for some reason. They all say yes, they'll come tomorrow. Then Josh and Joel proceed to ask if I have any hot single friends. I inform them, "In fact I do have some single friends but I don't know your taste in women so you'll have to judge for yourselves tomorrow." They high five each other and move on to another group of people. "So I assume the rest of you all have girlfriends since you didn't ask about any single friends, please extend the invitation to them as well. The more the better."

Jeremy says, "I think Misty will be off work by then. I'm sure she'd like to come. Thanks, Sidney."

"You're welcome."

This time Jesse speaks up. "Well, I don't have a girlfriend because I have a boyfriend. I don't know what Jacob's excuse is." He flashes a big smile when he's done speaking.

Jacob scoffs at him. "I haven't had the time, dickhead."

I look at Jesse and put my hand on his forearm so he knows I mean it. "I'm sorry if I offended you, Jesse." I give his arm a light squeeze. "You're welcome to bring your boyfriend."

He puts his hand over mine and gives me a squeeze back with a smile and tells me, "I took no offense." I never would have thought he had a boyfriend. I know it's wrong but you just don't think of big tattooed guy as being gay. Oooh! I wonder what his boyfriend looks like.

I like these guys. They seem genuine. I can't wait to hang out with them some more. I'm not good at guessing ages so I ask, "How old are you guys?"

Sam answers for everyone, "Jacob is the old man he's 28, Jeremy and I are 26, Jesse is 24 and Josh and Joel are 21. How old are you?"

"I'll be 24 in a few months. I need to tell you about a rule I have for my parties." They all look at me curiously so I continue. "If you're going to be drinking at my house you have to have a designated driver, call a cab or stay the night. I have plenty of room but it depends on how many people stay if you get a room or not. Some wind up on air mattresses and the couches. If you do stay you get a big breakfast in the morning." I lean in like I'm telling a secret, they all lean in too. I say in a low voice, "I think that's why everybody likes to stay." I straighten up again. "Well, I've got to be up early tomorrow so I'm heading home for the night. It was nice to meet you all, see ya tomorrow. I'm the house on the left side if you're facing Danny's. Just remember my mailbox is the cement dolphin." I give a little wave while starting to walk backwards and telling them goodnight.

Sam says, "I'll walk ya home, Sid."

I stop walking. "You don't have to. Did you forget this is a gated community?" I laugh. "I think I'll be safe getting home. If not I know self-defense!" I turn and start walking away again. I hate when people think I'm weak.

As I'm walking I start thinking back over the night, maybe Sam was asking me on a date to the beach. I turn him down and then invite his family over for DPV (drunk pool volleyball). Was he trying to get me alone by asking to walk me home? What do I do, laugh and tell him I know self-defense. I'm such a dork! How embarrassing. Oh well, Tash said he's a manwhore and I'm not looking for that. He also leaves in two weeks. I'm ready for a relationship. I wouldn't mind going out with Jacob but he said he doesn't have time for a girlfriend. That's really too bad because I wouldn't mind climbing that hunk of a man.

### SAM

"Damn dude you just got shut down by a stripper!" Jacob seems to be the fucking comedian tonight. _Bastard_.

Tasha walks up with a smirk on her face and asks me, "Who's the stripper."

I am so busted, fuck! "Sidney." She throws her head back laughing, howling like a fucking wolf. She's laughing so hard everybody else joins her. She's bent over from her antics and wiping tears from her face. What the fuck is so damn funny? Nothing, that's what. They're all on my shit list now. Me, Sam _Fucking_ Jericho, getting turned down by a stripper is _NOT_ funny.

"Wh....wh...wh...why would you think Sidney's a stripper? Oh god!" She can barely catch her breath.

"I heard the guy at the liquor store call her Cherry and ask if she was going to the strip. Is she a bartender instead of a stripper?"

Tasha grabs my arm and is holding on for dear life. She can't seem to control herself. When she catches her breath, again, she says with the most mischievous face, "Sam, I love you but you are such an ass. Have you seen Sidney's _baby_? She takes it out to the _strip_ every now and then to race. The color is how she got the nickname _Cherry_. And by beating most of the men and their toys they bring out. You are such a dick. I can't wait to tell her you thought she was a stripper!" They all start laughing again.

Huh, that makes sense. "What the hell does she do then?"

"Sidney owns her own business of designing websites for companies."

So maybe I am an ass. At least I didn't get shot down by a stripper. _Take that assholes!_

Acknowledgments

As it should be huge props to the hubs for managing the house when I'm missing in my head. I'll always love you more.

To MJ Fields for convincing me to write a novella even though the first book in the series was complete. Thanks for the kick in the ass lady!

Thank you to Ashley, Christa, Jacki, Jamie, Kim, Laurie, Lucy, Mary, Michelle and Renee for all of the tattooed, pierced and muscled pictures of beautiful men. Yum!

Last but not least thank you to the reader who purchased this. I hope you enjoyed the journey reading this as much as I did writing it. Please consider leaving a review.

You can contact me here:

josiecharlesauthor@gmail.com

 https://www.facebook.com/pages/Josie-Charles-Author/1544181605839381

