

Smashwords Edition

_Forever is Mine_

Copyright 2015 Wendy Louise Books

Published by Wendy Louise Books

ISBN: 978-0-9942379-2-7

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior permission of the author.

All characters in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Table of Contents

Title Page

Books by Wendy Louise

Dedication

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty Two

Chapter Twenty Three

Chapter Twenty Four

Chapter Twenty Five

Chapter Twenty Six

Chapter Twenty Seven

Chapter Twenty Eight

Chapter Twenty Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty One

Chapter Thirty Two

Chapter Thirty Three

Epilogue

Forever is Yours

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Side by Side

Copyright Notice

#

'Side by Side' Series

_Side by Side_

_On Your Side_ (Coming Soon)

'Forever' Series

_Forever is Mine_

_Forever is Yours_ (Coming very soon)

'Rock Stars of Rewind' Series

_For Jagger's Love_ (Coming Soon)

_For Bowie's Trust_ (Coming Soon)
_To my sister, Jo, who was the first person to read this book and love Ethan and Ava as much as I do. I would never have been able to write about Ava and Olivia without having such a great sister to draw inspiration from._

_Hugs X_

#

#

I roll to my back and toss the condom to the floor. As I stare at the ceiling, the hottie to my left rolls to her side and places her head on my chest. Her dark hair fans out over my arm, tickling it as it pulls across my skin. She starts to run her fingernails across my abs, scratching as she goes. Before the sex, this would have turned me on, now it's annoying me.

"Wanna do that again?" she says in a sing-song voice as her hand trails lower.

That's my cue.

My cue to leave.

I gently remove myself from under her and search the floor for my jeans.

"You're leaving?" she says, sitting up quickly and tossing her long hair over one shoulder.

"Yep," I say as I button my fly and grab my t-shirt from under the bedside table.

She gives me a tight smile and says, "I guess what they say about you is true."

"Yeah and what's that?"

This girl is starting to piss me off and the fact that I can't remember her name is not helping.

"You really do use women for one thing..."

Now she's _really_ pissing me off.

She only wanted _me_ for one thing last night and she got it.

Twice.

Not to mention the fact that she has bragging rights - _I bagged Ethan Drake!_

So what the hell is her problem now?

"I never promised you anything but great sex and that's what you got sweetheart," I throw back.

"The great _Ethan Drake_ ," she says through her teeth, "the Sex God with no emotions."

"I'll take that title as a compliment," I say as I try to find my car keys.

"You're a pig," she says as I start to head out of the room.

I'm not going to argue with that assessment either. Call me what you will, Sex God, Pig, I can be either of those things.

The women I sleep with only want me because of who I am and what they can get from me. So I flaunt it. Who wouldn't? But at the end of the day, doesn't that make them the same as me? They use me in the same way as I use them.

I make my way to the door to leave and toss a "Thanks" over my shoulder.

_Hey I'm not a total asshole!_

I manage to get through the door before the shoe she throws at me hits the other side. I can hear her yelling at me from her position on the bed, but she is already a memory to me. I won't be going there again.

I never do. No repeat performances for me.

I push the button for the elevator and take a deep breath. I've just had great sex with a hot chick. Most guys would give their left nut to have a night like I just did.

So why do I feel so hollow inside?

#

Hollywood here I come

#

I've never been good at saying goodbye. I stress and worry over the moment that I have to actually do it for weeks on end before it is upon me, and then I generally fall apart.

Leaving behind moments in time has never been easy for me. _Change_ has always been a dirty word.

I have been worrying over the goodbye that is now staring me in the face for weeks.

"Don't forget to call if you need _anything_ ....." my mum says, emphasizing the last word in a drawn out way; "...and say hello to your sister for us, give her a big kiss."

She embraces me in a warm hug. I shut my eyes and tighten my grip on her. This one will have to last me for a while. I inhale her scent, all jasmine and daisy, and commit it to memory. It makes me feel safe.

Dad wraps his large arms around us both and squeezes. He can sense Mum's imminent emotional crumble. "Stay safe over there kiddo," he says with a smile. "Don't go falling in love with any American men; I want you to come back! One daughter living over there is more than enough."

I pull back from their double embrace and raise my eyebrows at my dad. "That's the last thing you need to worry about Dad. I am steering clear of the men over there."

"Good girl, just go and enjoy yourself." He smiles his charming smile and passes me the handle for my hand luggage. "Give Olivia a big kiss from me too."

"I will. I love you both." I pull them both in for one last hug and then bend to grab my bag.

Mum's eyes are starting to gloss over so it is time for me to head off. I can't see her cry; it will just set me off too. After a final glance over my shoulder and a wave, I make my way through the departure gate and in to Customs.

On my way to a new life.

_Change._

That word keeps swirling through my brain but I push it back. The normal panic that I feel whenever I think about the change I'm undertaking gets squashed down as I breathe deeply and focus on the task at hand.

After 4 years of studying for a Journalism Degree at Melbourne University in Australia, I'm about to board a plane for the bright lights of Los Angeles and leave behind everything and everyone that makes me feel safe and comforted. I always like life to be safe and comfortable, so right now I'm wondering what on Earth I am thinking in agreeing to fly half way around the world to work for my sister.

My older sister is Olivia Lucas, upcoming Hollywood Actress and star of what is hoped to be one of the highest grossing movies of the year - _Forever is mine_.

As I stand in line at the Customs counter, waiting to have my passport stamped I think of the new job that awaits me in LA. Olivia needs a Personal Assistant on set and begged me to come and work with her. She said that she didn't want some 'Hollywood type' that would be mindlessly at her beck and call, sucking up at every opportunity. She wants someone she can trust and confide in, and that's me.

We've always been close despite the 4 year age gap. She has always been my best friend and confidante, even since she has been living in the States. We always make sure to talk at least twice a week to catch up on each other's lives.

After getting through Customs, I decide to peruse the duty free shop to kill some time. I have an hour to spare before my flight boards. I want to bring something for Olivia, so I settle on a small bottle of her favourite perfume before paying for it and heading to the Ladies Room to freshen up.

I've dressed comfortably in my Levis, pale blue converse and a loose fitting cardigan that drapes warmly around my body. My long, naturally wavy brown hair is pulled back in to a ponytail and I have kept my make up to a minimum thinking of the fourteen hour flight ahead of me, and not wanting 'panda eyes' when I land. Although I'm sure they are inevitable.

I am so ready for this trip. I need to escape the reality of life for a while and move outside my comfort zone. Life for me has always been about doing the right thing. Working hard at school, because that's what was expected; studying at University because that was the natural progression to take. Being with the right guy, the nice guy, because that's what someone like me does.

Well, didn't that turn out great!

I was with Cole for two years until I found out that he had been cheating on me with not one but two other girls.

I was devastated.

Completely ripped in half!

The weird thing about it all now is that the more I look back on our relationship, the more I realise that I was with him because he was comfortable and he represented what everyone thought was right for me. Good job, good family, good looks. In hindsight, that was all deceiving, and he was so wrong for me on so many levels. Breaking up with him was the best thing I could have done two months ago, but it still hurts. I miss the friendship and companionship - but not _him_.

They finally call my flight, so I gather my handbag, my carry on case and my magazines and join the queue ready to board. I take a deep breath and look out the large airport windows one last time at the Melbourne sun, shining brightly and casting warm rays across the carpet.

Here goes nothing.

I've packed my ipad and loaded it up with books and movies to help me get through the long haul flight. I know the in-flight entertainment is there, but I wanted to read. There's nothing better than getting lost in a book. Once situated in my economy class seat at the back of the plane, I pull it out and start to read to pass some time. An older lady sits next to me and nods to say hello. She settles herself and pulls out a book. I am hoping that we will both sit and do our own thing for the next fourteen hours. I am not averse to talking to people on planes, but I don't want to make small talk for the entire journey.

Following a light lunch of pasta, salad, chocolate mousse and those little crackers with portion control cheese - _I love those_ \- I decide to put my headphones on and listen to music while trying to settle in to sleep. I decide on Adele, because her music is really soothing to me. While listening to her singing about _Turning Tables_ , I must have succumbed to sleep because I don't wake until the Flight Attendants are starting to serve juice and coffee in preparation for breakfast.

I am now only 3 hours from my destination and the butterflies in my stomach turn into bats and begin to flutter. I am so excited, yet nervous, not knowing what to expect in this new city that I will call home for the next twelve months.

Once the Captain announces that we are about to make our descent in to LA, I am scared. My heart is beating so fast behind my ribs; I need to calm myself with a few deep breaths. How do people do this when they don't have anyone to meet them at the other end? If I didn't have Olivia here with me, I would be a basket case. I take a few more calming breaths and peer out the window to see the land below while ensuring that my seat belt is securely fastened.

As I step through the doors at LAX I am welcomed by the bright morning sunshine streaming through the large glass windows. It reminds me of the sight I left behind in Melbourne. That somehow makes me feel a little more at home.

A little more at ease.

I come across a smartly dressed lady ahead with a sign stating my name, standing near the exit. She looks like a cross between a security guard and a chauffeur, with her pressed black slacks, crisp white shirt, black tie and black hat. I don't recognise her but make my way over to her, dodging all the travellers as I go. Not an easy task with the luggage trolley. This airport is so busy, it blows my mind.

"Hi, I'm Ava Lucas," I say as I reach her, offering my hand for her to shake.

"Good Morning Miss Lucas, I'm Miranda. Your sister sent me to collect you and asked me to drop you off at the Studio. She hopes that you don't mind, but she had an early call time this morning."

"No worries," I reply, handing the luggage trolley over to her as she reaches for it.

Miranda is all efficiency and professionalism in one smart package. She helps me to navigate the airport and car park with my luggage and soon afterwards I am situated in the back of a sleek black SUV, heading towards the freeway and the studio. The car is very luxurious and smells of new leather seats. It makes me feel like someone important and suddenly I get a small glimpse of what life must be like for my soon-to-be-superstar sister.

I'm in awe of the city as it flies past the windows. I cannot believe how many freeways there are here and how they wind their way around each other. I will never be able to work out which one to take or where to go. In Melbourne we only have a few freeways and they pretty much go in a straight line compared to this. They are easy to navigate, but these look terrifying. Suddenly the thought of driving in my adopted city sends a chill to my stomach.

Miranda seems completely at ease weaving her way through the mountain of traffic, so I nestle back in my seat and try to take in as much as I can. The palm trees, the billboards, the city buildings, it is all so exciting. As we continue, I start to see landmarks that I have only ever seen in movies, or on TV. The sight of the Hollywood sign up on the hill to my right makes me squeal as we pass it. Miranda looks at me in the rear view mirror in a way that tells me that I am not the first person to have that reaction in her presence. I apologise to her for my little outburst and return to my city gazing out the car window, silently. She doesn't seem the type to chat.

We continue for some time until Miranda tells me that we have arrived at our destination. I am excited to see that we have pulled through the gates at Universal Studios. I try to contain myself this time so that no unexpected squeals leave my throat. I need to act professionally; there are going to be many OMG moments now that I'm here.

We meander our way through parking lots and roadways that lead us to the back lot of the studios. I watch as eager tourists are undergoing a tour of the area in a little train car. They're all madly snapping photos and videos of everything around them. I feel like I belong in the train car with them rather than wherever I'm currently headed.

The car pulls up outside a huge warehouse-like building with Studio A written on the side of it. Miranda opens my car door and leads me through the large door. We walk down a long corridor to an area that looks like it is reserved for guests.

"Please wait here Miss Lucas," she says, "someone will be with you shortly. I'll ensure that your luggage makes its way to your sister's apartment."

"Thank you Miranda."

I turn to take in my surroundings. The room I'm in has a large dark leather couch and a long table against the wall that is full of beautifully presented food and drinks. I'm feeling quite hungry but I'm too scared to touch anything in case it isn't permitted, so I sit myself down on the inviting looking couch and wait. I'm exhausted so I pull out my ipad to read while I wait. I need to make sure that I don't drift in to sleep.

Fifteen minutes and one chapter later I hear her before I see her.

There is no mistaking the Australian accent or the gorgeous laugh that echoes down the hall towards where I am waiting. Rounding the corner is my beautiful sister. I rise out of the chair, but her beauty stops me in my tracks.

She's wearing a long white fluffy robe. Her long dark hair has been curled to perfection and is bouncing against her shoulders as she moves, and her make-up, although heavy, accentuates every feature on her flawless face. She is quite simply - dazzling.

Olivia always knew that she wanted to be an actress. When we were young she would put together theatre shows with all the local children in our neighbourhood and charge the parents and neighbours a small price to watch them. They were always pretty amateur and we would all giggle our way through the dialogue, but Olivia always took them so seriously. She was really good, even back then. I've always envied her drive and the fact that she had a dream and she is going for it.

Most people don't have the courage to do that. Especially in a town like Hollywood that can eat you up and spit you out in the blink of an eye.

My attention turns from Olivia to the cute guy behind her who is hanging on her every word. He holds an ipad and it sounds as if he is trying to schedule some time with her, for what, I don't know. As she spots me, her face lights up and she almost runs to engulf me in the biggest hug. As her arms go around me, I realise that I've missed seeing her so much. Her hug alone makes me feel welcome and a little less stressed about this whole adventure I'm undertaking. It feels like a little bit of home is here with me.

"Ava I missed you so much, I'm so glad that you're here." She squeezes me hard, her fluffy robe enveloping and calming me along with the scent of her perfume.

I pull back. "Hi Sis, I missed you too. How are you?" I ask as I take her in, raking my eyes from her head to her toes.

She looks happy and exclaims, "I'm great, wonderful really, this is all so exciting. I'm undergoing costume fittings and styling at the moment, hence the robe, so please excuse the look!" She sweeps her hand theatrically down her body to highlight her attire.

I don't know what she's talking about. She looks _amazing_.

She leads me back to the couch and gestures towards the young man that has followed her in. "Ava, this is Joshua; he is Ethan Drake's Personal Assistant. You two will probably get to know each other really well, so I wanted him to come meet you as soon as you arrived. Joshua, this is my sister Ava."

Ah yes, Ethan Drake.

Olivia is starring alongside true Hollywood royalty, or at least the son of.

Ethan Drake is playing her romantic lead. He is a true Hollywood celebrity, but this is his first feature film role. Ethan is the son of one of Hollywood's most loved leading ladies, Elizabeth Drake. Elizabeth was a huge movie star in the 80's and 90's, but to this day she is still looked upon as 'America's Sweetheart', in the very same way that Australia has adopted Liv. This country loves her.

Joshua steps forward pulling my attention.

"Hi, Joshua Roberts, great to meet you Ava. Olivia has been so excited about you coming. I feel like I know you already with what she has told me."

Joshua is tall, but shorter than Olivia. He has dark brown hair that has been styled in to choppy spikes on top of his head. He has deep green eyes and an amazing smile, and is dressed casually in cargo pants and a tight black t-shirt that accentuates what looks to be a great body underneath. He smiles and gives me his hand. He is a real cutie.

After shaking my hand for what feels like forever, he drops it to continue his conversation with Olivia.

"So Liv," he says. "Ethan wants to run lines on the scene you're filming tomorrow. Have you got some free time today?"

"What time Josh?"

"Ethan has a window free from 11am for an hour. Would that work?"

"Perfect, tell him I'll see him then."

Joshua turns on his heel but before leaving the room, glances back at me, and smiles. "I can't wait to work with you Ava! I'll see you soon."

I'm grateful that he seems like a nice guy and will be easy to be around. I was worried that everyone was going to be snobby and difficult to work with. I mean I'm from Australia and have never worked in this Industry before, so I'm sure that will be frowned upon by some.

"So tell me everything about home Ava, how are Mum and Dad?" Liv asks as she sits down.

I proceed to update her on all the news from home and tell her how proud of her everyone is.

"I'm so sorry that I couldn't pick you up from the airport today. I got called in early. We should be able to head back to the apartment mid-afternoon. I can't wait to show you around LA."

"I can't wait to see the apartment and LA. I am so happy to be here with you Liv."

"Not as happy as I am to have you here. I have missed you all so much." She stands and grabs a bottle of water and a fancy looking sandwich from the table for each of us. "Come on", she says, "I want to show you my dressing room and I need to introduce you to a few people."

For the first time since arriving, I feel the excitement creep back in, taking the place of my nerves.

#

# Meeting the Ethan Drake

#

I follow Olivia back down the long corridor and around another corner. We arrive at a door that has a name plate on it stating - _Olivia Lucas_ \- in bold gold letters. It also has a gold star to the side of her name.

Very clichéd, but so Hollywood.

I'm so proud and excited for her that I quickly grab my iphone and snap a shot of it. Once I sort out what network I can use for my phone over here, I'm going to text that shot to everyone back home. They will all be so impressed.

Olivia just breezes past it like it is no big deal and opens the door to her dressing room, gesturing me through.

It is huge.

There is a wall of mirrors with a white marble bench along it. The bench holds cosmetics, hair products and perfumes. There are so many of them that I can't imagine that one person could need all that. There are two very comfortable black leather seats under the bench that I assume are used when Olivia is being made-up and pampered.

The wall opposite has a long black leather couch with silver scatter cushions. It looks so comfortable, and I would be quite happy to lie down, curl up, and take a nap at the moment if I could.

"The bathroom is here if you need it," Olivia says as she opens another door at the back corner of the room. The white marble theme is continued in here with a huge tub and a large shower. More mirrors grace the wall over the vanity and little light bulbs rim the mirrors.

Very _movie-star-esque_.

"Here Ava, let's sit and eat, you must be hungry."

My stomach answers her question with a growl and we both laugh.

"There is a special office down the hall that will be yours. Joshua works from there too. He'll be able to show you the ropes around here, and he is a great guy."

"He seems very sweet," I say as I take a bite of my sandwich.

"He is. Ava, I'm so happy to have you here, I like knowing that I have someone I love with me. This place can feel like it is eating you alive sometimes. Not everyone is as genuine as Josh, so you need to be careful. There are so many jealous people around, people who will do anything to get ahead."

"Thanks for the warning, but I'm sure I will be able to tell the difference between the genuine ones and the assholes."

I've always prided myself on my ability to read people.

_I guess I let myself down where Cole was concerned though._ I push him from my mind and take another bite of my lunch.

Olivia smiles. "You've always been such a sweetie Ava, and I just want you to be careful and guard yourself. Hollywood can be a tough place."

She replaces the cap on to her bottle of water and places her half eaten sandwich on to the side table. "Come on, let me show you your office, I'm sure Josh is back there by now, he can help you get settled."

Olivia starts to walk towards the door of her dressing room and turns to me. "One more thing. Ethan may be in the office with Josh. He can seem very _Hollywood_ ," she says, using her fingers to accentuate the word.

"As you know, his mother is in the business so he has grown up in this industry. He is used to getting what he wants and can make life difficult for newbies. He doesn't seem to trust people he doesn't know, a side-effect of growing up in this business I guess. Don't let it intimidate you. Once you get to know him, he's actually a pretty decent guy, it just takes time." She shrugs as if she is deep in thought before adding, "Oh and Madeline Rose, well she's a whole other story!" Olivia rolls her eyes.

Madeline has been cast as one of the lead supporting characters in the movie. She is a huge young Hollywood star and from what Olivia has told me, she personifies all those attributes that make her a starlet - she is conceited, demanding, and in short - a bitch. She already has two highly popular movies under her belt.

"Thanks for the warning Liv, but I'll be fine. I can take care of myself you know." She laughs as I follow her out the door.

"You'll always be my little sister Ava and I feel like I need to look out for you."

"I'm here to look out for you in case you've forgotten. That's my job now."

Liv laughs again as I trail behind her.

I can see Joshua ahead talking animatedly. I assume that this is my new office. Olivia enters the room and I follow close behind.

As I make my way through the door I smile at Joshua and then my gaze turns and locks on to a pair of deep sapphire-blue eyes.

They are staring right at me, like they could burn a hole to my soul.

They're the deepest blue eyes I've ever seen, framed by long, thick, dark lashes. The type that any woman would pay good money for.

When I manage to tear my eyes away from the gaze, I notice the thick, sandy-brown hair that is tousled in such a way that you know it has been done effortlessly, but it looks like it has been styled for a magazine shoot.

Moving down, I take in the sharp angled jaw and the flawless crooked smile, and I know I'm staring at the face of Ethan Drake.

He is even more breathtaking in real life than he is in magazines.

If that's even possible.

I ignore my sweaty palms and the increase in the rhythm of my heart.

_Thump, thump, thump....._

Ethan begins to rise off the chair he is casually sitting in and moves towards me. My heart literally skips a few beats before my breathing starts to falter. He's wearing tight black jeans that fit in all the right places, and a long sleeved grey t-shirt layered with a black one over the top. He has black converse on his feet and a black leather cuff on his right wrist. He oozes sex appeal and could easily have been on the set of a catalogue shoot, ready to grace the pages with his beauty.

He is utterly gorgeous.

_And utterly dangerous!_

I feel like a deer caught in the headlights.

The closer he comes towards me, the faster my heart thumps against my ribs. I begin chanting to myself in my head, _calm down Ava, breathe, calm down Ava, breathe_ .....

This is OMG moment number 2.

The Hollywood sign has nothing on this.

N.O.T.H.I.N.G!

He stops in front of me and cocks his striking head to the side. "You must be Olivia's sister, she told me you were coming, but she failed to mention how beautiful you are. I'm Ethan Drake."

His voice is deep and dreamy, surrounding my senses like melted chocolate.

Yes, melted chocolate!

Gooey.

Sweet.

Sugary.

Heaven!

When those words leave his mouth, I can understand why women fall at his feet. He holds his hand out to shake mine, but as our hands make contact, instead of shaking mine, he pulls me towards him and places a kiss on the back of it. When his lips touch my hand, I feel the electricity flow through me in a flash from the flesh on my hand to the very tip of my toes...

_Oh my, he is good._

His inhumanely beautiful blue eyes stare in to mine, and for a moment I lose my ability to speak. He gives me a small crooked smile and I can tell he knows he is getting to me. This must happen around him a lot.

Once I find my tongue I say, "Nice to meet you Ethan, I'm Ava."

I'm proud of myself for keeping my voice even and maintaining eye contact while he is still holding my hand and continuing to stare in to my eyes. All I want to do is swoon at his feet. I remove my hand from his and take a step backwards to try and maintain some distance to gain back my composure.

He is too hot for his own good.

I need to clear my head. I have to work with these people and I'm not about to embarrass myself in front of any of them on our first meeting.

Ethan looks past me towards my sister and says, "Hey Liv, ready to run some lines?"

"Yep," she answers as they move to leave the room. My eyes can't help but follow them out the door, and as they do, Ethan looks back at me and gives me a wink before he disappears from view.

Olivia calls out to me, "I'll be back soon Sis. Once we finish rehearsing you and I can head out and I'll get you settled at the apartment."

I reply with a quick, "Okay Liv," and they are gone.

I turn towards Joshua who is smiling his toothy grin, with a questioning look in his eyes.

"What?" I ask with a shrug.

"Did the magic work on you?" he says.

"What magic are you talking about Joshua?"

_I know exactly what magic he is talking about!_

"C'mon Ava, the Ethan Drake magic.... ' _She never told me how beautiful you are'_ , that magic." Joshua smiles.

"Oh that," I try to say casually as if it hasn't affected me at all. "I'm sure he says that to all the girls he meets." I can feel my face flushing and duck my head so that Joshua can't see my reaction.

He laughs and shakes his head. "Come on; let me show you to your desk. You can sit right here by me. I've cleared this area for you and this lap top has been set up, ready to go. You even have an email address ready and waiting. The Studio is good at keeping their talent happy, and as soon as Olivia decided that she wanted you as her PA, the Studio made sure everything was arranged for you. There is also an ipad and iphone here for you."

Josh continues, "The talent like us to be contactable at all times. Believe me; Ethan calls me at all hours of the day and night." He rolls his eyes but I can tell that he loves his job. He is very passionate about it when he talks.

Josh begins to fill me in on the movie. _Forever is mine_ is a bestselling book, in the genre of Young Adult Romance. There are three books in all, and the roles in the first movie were coveted by all the top American actors. The Producers of the trilogy wanted relative unknowns to take on the two main leads. The anticipation surrounding this movie is enormous.

After an hour of talking, Joshua turns to me changing the subject. "So are you a tea or coffee girl?"

"I'm a tea drinker, you?"

"I love coffee all the way," he states with a little nod. He really is a cutie. I think I'm going to like working alongside him.

"Well seeing as you've had a long flight and I'm sure you're exhausted, let's head to the Studio café and I'll buy you a cup of tea."

That sounds like heaven. I grab my purse and rise out of my seat.

We head to an area that opens out in to a large café, with both indoor and outdoor seating. It has a large bar for making sandwiches and a big display cabinet full of delicious looking hot food. The smell in here is divine. My stomach begins to growl and I realise that I am still quite hungry, despite the sandwich Liv and I just shared. It is probably meal time back in Australia and my body clock is still set to that schedule.

"Hey Josh," a petite blonde girl calls out from behind the counter. Her voice is high and sounds almost like she's singing. From the way she is looking at Joshua I can see that she is interested in him. Her smile is huge and infectious and she is batting her eyelashes without realising it.

"Hey Chelsea. This is Ava. She's Olivia's sister and her new PA." Josh gives her a crooked smile and puffs out his chest.

Chelsea is very pretty. She has long, perfectly straight blonde hair, pulled back in to a high ponytail. I would love to have hair that straight. My hair is wavy - not straight and not curly, just in between. She has green eyes and a cute little button nose. She comes out from behind the counter to shake my hand and bounces as she walks. She gives me a wide kind smile. "It's nice to meet you Ava, welcome to the family here. Let me know how you like your coffee, I'll be the one making it for you each day".

"I'm actually a tea drinker, but thanks anyway." I state kindly.

"Well we stock every type of tea here. Ethan Drake is a tea drinker too, so he made sure every variety would be at his beck and call. Which is your poison Ava?"

"Um, I like green tea actually. But don't worry...."

Chelsea cuts me off and says, "Oh we have every type of green tea, green tea with mint, green tea with jasmine, green tea with..."

I stop her before she recites the entire tea menu. "Green tea with mint would be great. Thanks Chelsea." I think we are going to get along really well too. She seems very sweet. I love her energy.

She smiles widely. "Go sit, I'll bring them over. Usual for you Josh?" Her eye lashes are batting again. I wonder if she realises that she is doing that.

"Yes, thanks."

Joshua gestures for me to go ahead and we make our way to the tables outside. The weather is stunning and the air is warm and humid. The tables are covered in large white market umbrellas that shade them perfectly. I pull my large black sunglasses from my bag and place them over my tired eyes. Joshua gives me a full megawatt smile and cocks his head to the side as he folds his hands on the table between us.

"So tell me Ava, what do you think of our town so far?"

"I love it, I can't believe that I'm here really. Australia is so far away from the States, and everything we associate with it is what we see on the TV. To actually be here and see those things in person is incredible. I'm a bit awe-struck." I admit.

"Well if you need a personal tour guide, I'm happy to oblige. I'm born and bred here in LA, so I know my way around things."

"I appreciate that. I'm sure that Olivia will be much too busy to indulge my desire for sightseeing, so I may take you up on that. I really want to get on to that little train car and do a tour of the Studios here."

Joshua laughs. "I'm sure we can arrange that."

Chelsea arrives with Joshua's latte and my green tea and sits down with us in the sunshine. She stabs a straw in to a large milk shake and wraps her perfect lips around it to take a sip.

Swallowing her drink, she says, "So Josh, have you told Ava about the party tomorrow night? You need to be there, it'll be a great chance for you to meet everyone."

Joshua nods enthusiastically. "Yes, you must come. Everyone is going to be there."

"Well thanks for the invite, I'll talk to my sister and see if she has anything else lined up and get back to you."

I don't want to step on Olivia's toes. She may have organised a few things for us to do over the next few days.

Joshua and Chelsea exchange a knowing glance between them and Joshua says, "Your sister will be there for sure. Hasn't she told you who she's dating?"

I shake my head, with an exasperated smile. "No she hasn't!"

"Well she's been seeing the Producer on the film. His name is Ryan and he is dreamy," Chelsea states with a flutter of her long dark lashes.

Joshua just rolls his eyes at that.

_I think these two are definitely in to one another._

"They've been pretty hot and heavy for a few months. Ryan is throwing this party, so Olivia will definitely be there."

I make a mental note to ask Olivia all about the _dreamy_ Ryan that she has been seeing, and make it my mission to find out why she has been keeping it from everyone at home.

"Well that sounds great. I would love to get to know everyone and what better way than a party. I hope my jet lag doesn't hold me back too much." I can feel the weariness settling over me even as we sit here.

"You'll be fine," says Josh. "We'll make sure we line up some shots for you; that's sure to keep you going. Ryan's parties are always over the top, what better way for you to be introduced in to the Hollywood way of doing things than a night out at a famous Producer's house in the Hollywood Hills."

I smile and lean back to take a deep breath. I squint in to the bright sunshine as I feel a sense of contentment wash over me. Only a few hours here in LA and already I have been invited to my first party.

I think I'm going to like it here.

#

# My blessed life...not

#

I really want to make a good impression tomorrow, so I thought that asking Liv to run lines with me would help. Honestly, I don't think I need it, I have these lines memorised and locked down, but the success of this depends on the chemistry between the two of us on screen and I can't take any chances. I'm so sick of being seen as only _Elizabeth Drake's son_ , the celebrity, the playboy, the clown... I want to make an impression that is good enough to solidify my career as an actor, and to help open doors.

I cannot fuck this up.

Failure is not an option.

I yawn a couple of times while I wait for Liv to get off the damn phone. Geez, that girl can talk!

I've had a few late nights this past week. Too many women and not enough rest, life could be worse I guess, but I really need to learn to say 'No'.

I watch Olivia as she talks; her plump lips moving quickly in to the speaker of the phone. She really is fucking gorgeous, but off limits now that she is dating Ryan, and truthfully, I would not want to do anything with her that could jeopardise the film. We have a long road ahead with filming, promotions, and then the possibility of another two sequel films if this one is a success. I definitely do not want to mess with that.

_Her sister on the other hand....._

Olivia breaks my thoughts. "Sorry about that Ethan, they're trying to schedule time for me with the stunt double. My diary is crazy right now." She takes a deep shuddering breath.

"Well now that your sister is here, you have someone to manage all of that for you."

"Thank Goodness."

"So what's her story?"

I'm curious. I like to know the people who are working around me. Trust is not my strong point, so I don't let my guard down easily with anyone new. Not to mention the fact that she's hot, with that long, thick, wavy hair and those big chocolate-brown eyes that looked right through me. It was like she could read my inner thoughts. It unnerved me. No one has done that to me before.

Ever.

Most importantly, I didn't miss the tight little body underneath that shirt she had on too.

_What I could do to that..._

"Well, she just finished University and felt like she needed a break to decide what's next. She's also had a difficult break up in the last couple of months. I really wanted her with me and after much coaxing she decided to come out here. Ava prefers the comforts of home and people she knows around her so this is a very big move for her. We've always been really close so it's hard to be away from each other for long periods of time. I'm so pleased she's here."

"You're lucky to have that bond with her Liv; it would be nice to have that level of trust with someone else."

"I can trust her with my life. That's why I wanted her above anyone else as my PA."

I would give anything to have someone in my life that I can trust like that. The only person that comes close is Grace, my Nanny, the woman who raised me. I don't have that level of trust with many of my friends apart from my best friend Grayson and my PA, Joshua; and I sure as hell don't have that level of trust with my mother.

In this town you learn quickly that most people are after something. Many who have befriended me over the years have only done so because of who my mother is, and for the doors that the friendship could open.

_Dickheads!_

I turn back to Olivia. "Shall we get back to these lines? I have to be out of here in an hour to meet Grayson downtown."

"Sure," she says opening her script. "Let's do it."

As I pull my sleek silver Porsche up to the valet at Chateau Marmont, I already see the eyes of dozens of women swing my way. They all spot the car before I even emerge, and that is enough for them to be interested in me - is that shallow or what?

Now I'm not complaining, because that shallow way of thinking has gotten me laid more times that I can fucking count; but sometimes I wish that people would like me for who I am and not what I have or who gave birth to me.

I spot Grayson sitting in a low leather arm chair sipping a beer. I motion to the waitress that I'll have the same and take a seat opposite him. Grayson has been my best friend for eight years. We met when we were fifteen at a summer camp.

My mother always sent me away, whether it was to boarding school, or summer camp. I loved camp because I could be a normal kid. No one knew who I was, so I could act my age and just have fun.

Grayson and I shared a bunk bed and have been best friends ever since. He's also born and bred in this crazy town, so we've been able to maintain our easy-going friendship over the years. Aside from Nanny, he's the only other person I completely trust. He's like the brother I never had.

I sit and cross my foot over my leg. "Hey Gray, what's up?"

"Hey man, lots and nothing. You?" he says smiling.

Grayson always answers that question in the same way - _Lots and Nothing_. It doesn't give me a lot to work with really.

I chuckle. "How's the life of a rock star treating you?"

He takes a swig of his beer. "It's hard work man, but someone has to do it!"

He gives me a full megawatt smile, the type that makes women swoon at his feet.

Grayson is the lead singer of _Awesome Rebel._ He is also the best guitarist I've ever heard, and that's not me being biased, he's fucking brilliant on the strings. Mind you, he also plays piano and is pretty good on a drum kit. He works really hard at promoting the band and setting up gigs around LA. They've made a really good name for themselves around the clubs and I know that it won't be long until they're signed and hit it big.

Grayson has the looks, body and the charisma to attract the ladies, but the band still has its fair share of male fans, because they are so damn good.

"Are you guys playing the party at Ryan's tomorrow night?" I ask as the waitress delivers my beer. She leans over to place a coaster on to the table in front of me, giving me a clear view of the cleavage beneath the white shirt she's wearing like a second skin. I smile at her as I lean forward to pick up the beer bottle. She winks and licks her lips before turning back where she came from.

Grayson smiles. He didn't miss that little show.

"We sure are. Looking forward to it too. I'm hoping that some of those Hollywood heavy-hitters may sit up and finally take notice."

"It should be a good night and lots of hot ass too. I'm in need of some of that."

"Please man, you are never _in need_ of that, you have them practically throwing themselves at you from all angles all the time. They all want a piece of the great _Ethan Drake_."

We both laugh and take a swig of our beers.

"So how's the shoot going? Have you hit on that gorgeous Aussie yet?"

Grayson has a major infatuation with Olivia.

They met when we first started the table reads for the movie. We all went out after the first day for a drink and I introduced them. Grayson has not been able to stop asking about her since. If Olivia was not with Ryan I would try and hook them up, but unfortunately for Gray, it looks like it's too late. I think Olivia is really in to Ryan and I know Ryan is in to her. Gray and Liv would make a very attractive couple, but at this point in time there is no chance there.

"Man, you know I won't go there. We have to work together for a long time yet and I am not messing with that."

"Well in that case, I will hang in the wings, wait 'til she kicks Ryan to the curb and swoop."

"Man, you're such a romantic! That must work in your favour! The women must be lining up!" I scoff.

"Fuck off!" he says with a laugh, "You know I don't have any issues in that department."

"I met her sister this morning," I say; not sure why I am bringing her up.

Grayson's eyes light up instantly. "What! Another hot Aussie - maybe I can tap that?"

For some reason hearing him say that gets my back up. The hairs on my arms begin to stand on end. "No man, she seems like the sweet and innocent type, not your speed at all. Besides, she's starting work as Olivia's PA, so best not to tap something that will be around permanently - if you get my drift."

"Yeah, maybe you're right. Well let's see how the party goes, I'm sure there will be plenty of talent to check out."

After two hours and three beers, Grayson and I call it a day and go our separate ways. I'm in need of a good workout, but can't be bothered to stop at the gym today, so I head home. As I pull in to the palatial gates of the home that I have lived in all my life, I decide that a swim will suffice. My mother is nowhere to be found when I enter the house - _Thank God!_ \- so I head straight to my wing of the house to change in to my board shorts ready for a swim.

Yes, you heard right - my _wing!_ It's a fuckin' big house.

The pool is located in the centre of it. We have both an indoor and outdoor pool. Today is warm, but not warm enough for me to brave the outdoor pool, so I settle for the indoor heated one. After fifty fast laps I'm well and truly done, and ready to dry off.

My mobile phone distracts me as I'm towelling off, and as I reach to answer it I see that Nanny Grace is calling me. She has been my nanny from the day I was born. She worked with us and lived in our home until I turned eighteen, doing everything for me. Nanny was my 'mom' for all intents and purposes. She packed my school lunches, read me bedtime stories, held me when I had a bad dream, and she's my world, still to this very day.

Over the past few years she's become quite frail and unwell and has recently moved in to a nursing home. I can't stand the fact that she is there. I begged my mother to let her stay with us at the house and to hire carers and helpers for her, but my mother insists that she is better off in the nursing home. I hate visiting her there and try to take her out for outings as much as I can, but with the film I don't have much time.

I answer the phone before I miss the call. "Hey Nanny Grace, how are you?"

"Hi Ethan darling, I'm not too bad. Feeling better this week than last. I'm missing you though. How is filming going?" she asks sweetly. She is always interested in everything I do, no matter how small.

"It's going really well. Lots to get through and its keeping me really busy, but it's exciting. I'm really enjoying the process."

"I'm so pleased to hear that sweetie. When will I get to see you next?" she asks.

"I'm not sure, but I'll get there to see you as soon as I'm able to get a break in the schedule. Are they treating you okay?"

"Yes of course they are. The food leaves a lot to be desired, but the people are nice and my room is comfortable, so I have no complaints. I've made lots of friends."

I hate the fact that she never complains, and it makes me feel guilty to know that she would be much more comfortable in our home than where she is right now. My mother has always been jealous of the relationship I have with Nanny, so I expect that is what stopped her from letting her stay with us.

"Make sure you get a gorgeous dress ready Nanny. You'll be escorting me to the film premiere."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world Ethan darling. Oh, I must go, they're calling everyone for bingo."

"Okay Nanny, enjoy that, I'll talk to you soon."

"Love you Ethan, Bye."

"You too Nanny," I state as she ends the call.

As I place my phone back down on the lounge chair next to the pool, I think of how wonderful Nanny has been to me and how without her, I would not have had any parental influences in my life. She is the only person that has ever loved me unconditionally.

God knows that my mother has no parental bones in her body.

I think that I was part of a public image for her. The hype that surrounded my birth and the photo shoots that followed for years to come were so staged and managed. I'm sure my mother had the best publicists in the world working for her. Every event in my life was displayed in front of the camera - birthdays, graduations, any note-worthy milestones - the media was privy to all of them. Of course my mother would be there for every photo shoot, playing the perfect loving, and doting parent. In real life, I never remember her dressing or bathing me, I never remember her reading to me or playing with me, I barely remember her talking to me when I was younger.

Now that I'm 23 years old, we have a distant but friendly relationship. We talk to each other pleasantly, we spend time together when we have to, but otherwise, we are both content to live our own lives under the same massive roof. My mother lives for the hype and publicity; I can take it or leave it.

As for my father, well I don't even know who he is. My mother claims that she doesn't know and his name is not on my birth certificate. Sometimes I think about finding him, but really why would I? If he wanted to know me, he could have contacted me. Assuming he knows of my existence.

I guess that I've turned off my emotional radar. I don't let _feelings_ cloud anything that I do. Everyone who I should have been able to count on in my life has let me down - my mother, my father. I'm not complaining, this type of lifestyle works for me and works for anyone who is in this business. I concentrate all my emotion in to my acting and leave it out of my real life.

I have everything that I could ever want - amazing cars, a huge Hollywood mansion in a gated community, all the autonomy I want, staff at my beck and call....My life is fucking fantastic! The only thing I hate is the loneliness. This house is huge when you're here on your own, and ninety percent of the time, I am. I need to keep things that way though. I don't let people get close, so that I don't get let down. I'm quite content with playing the field and keeping women at arm's length. That way I can have my pick.

I have a ton of friends; mind you many of them are fellow Hollywood celebrities and the children of Hollywood stars, so whether I can count them as true friends remains to be seen. You need a thick skin in this business and I've certainly developed that over the years.

I tie the towel around my waist and head back to my room to take a shower and order a pizza. I think I'll go to my home theatre and watch a few movies tonight to wind down. I contemplate calling one of the women I have on speed dial, but I can't be bothered. I'll get me some at the party tomorrow night.

Tomorrow I have a big day of shooting and I need to be on my game. I want this film to be the best fucking film of the summer season. This will be the start of my Hollywood career and I can finally get out of my mother's shadow.

#

# Settling in

#

Olivia's apartment, well my apartment now too, is breathtaking.

It's in the Hollywood Hills and has the most amazing view of LA. The lights of the city at night are twinkling through the floor-to-ceiling windows at me, just begging me to come down and explore. I'm itching to get out there and see what LA has to offer.

The entire apartment is open plan and decorated in various shades of cream and white. Very modern and spacious. My room is off the main area and is beautiful. Up to date, but warm, furnished with a large bed in the centre of the room, and an antique armoire facing it. There is a tall mirror that is framed with thick rustic wood leaning against the wall to the right of the door, and then a doorway that leads in to a large marble covered bathroom. The whole room is decorated with cream furnishings and gold accents, it is very serene, and very me.

After unpacking my two large suitcases, I decide to take a quick shower. The showerhead is one of those large ones that make you feel like you're standing in the rain. My quick shower turns in to a much longer one, and I have to talk myself into getting out. The warm water is washing away the weariness of the day. I dress comfortably and wind my damp hair in to a clip to keep it off my shoulders. I head out to the large living space in search of my sister.

I find her lounging on the large, cream-coloured, sectional sofa with her perfectly manicured feet up and crossed at the ankles. She's wearing a pink fluffy robe and has a green face mask on as she flicks through a magazine with a look of disgust on her face.

"Not liking what you see in there?" I ask as I gesture towards the magazine.

"I don't know where they get these bullshit stories from," she says as she throws the pages down on to the glass coffee table in front of her.

"I just ignore them," she says casually, but I can tell it gets to her. She can't hide anything from me.

Olivia continues, "Sorry Sis. I need to do a bit of beauty prep. This face mask doesn't take long. We can head out to dinner once it's done if you like or just order in if you're tired. Your choice."

"Ordering in sounds fine to me Liv, I'm starting to fade. I'm excited to explore though. This place is amazing, you must love being here."

"I do, but I really miss home. That's why I was so happy that you were coming out here to be with me. I miss everyone."

"Tell me about Ryan." I say with a sly grin.

"Wow, news gets around fast in this town. Who told you about Ryan?" she says with wide eyes and a slight blush.

"Joshua. Now spill."

She smiles widely. "We've been seeing each other for a few months. He's one of the Producers on the Film. He is sweet and gorgeous and treats me really well."

"You lucky girl," I say, a little envious.

What I wouldn't give to be able to say that. I've never been in a relationship where I can say _all_ that. Not that I've had many, well only two serious ones to be exact. Both times I have had my heart broken in to teeny-tiny pieces. I try not to dwell on the fact that perhaps I came here to put distance between myself and Cole. I mean I never really thought he was the 'one', if that even exists, but I did love him and I thought he loved me. It still stings, but this distance is doing wonders. I haven't even thought about him until now.

"When do I get to meet him Liv?"

"Well there's a party tomorrow night that he's throwing..."

I cut her off, "Yes I know all about that, Joshua and Chelsea invited me."

Olivia shakes her head and smiles. "You've been here less than 24 hours and already you're accepting party invitations, I'm impressed Sis."

"I only accepted because they told me you would be there. Less intimidating for me if I get to ride on your skirt-tails for the evening." I sit myself down in to one of the comfortable looking arm chairs that frame the coffee table.

Olivia laughs her husky laugh and rises from the sofa. "I'm going to remove this face mask and then we'll order a pizza. We can spend the evening catching up, like old times."

"Sounds good. Liv, thanks for asking me to come and work with you. I think I'm really going to love being here, and it was a good time for me to get away and start afresh."

She turns back and directs a concerned gaze at me. "I hope you're not still lusting after that _awful_ Cole. He was so not worth your time. I'm going to make sure you meet a gorgeous American boy, and you'll never want to go home," she says with a wink. "I'll be right back".

That is the last thing I need.

No more men, no relationship, no American boy.

I need space and time for myself. I won't turn down a bit of flirtatious fun, but I'm not in the market for anything more than that right now. I'm sure my parents would be over the moon if I called them to tell them another daughter was setting down roots in the States.

_Not!_

American boys will not be getting any attention from this Australian girl.

I rise from the chair to make my way to the kitchen, ignoring the fact that all the while I am thinking of sapphire-blue eyes and sandy, tousled hair.

The sun is shining brightly when I open the curtains the next morning, and I can feel the heat radiating off the glass. I have a gorgeous view of the city through my window, and the thought that I'm actually here and about to start this new chapter of my life hits me. I am so excited and itching to get in to it.

I find Olivia fully dressed and stunning, eating an egg-white omelette in the kitchen.

"Morning Sis. Kettle's boiled. I got you some green tea, but we will need to go shopping and stock up on some of your other favourites later today."

"Thanks Liv. Green tea and toast will be fine for me. I brought my own vegemite from home." I hold up the jar of breakfast spread so Olivia can appreciate it. I'm sure she hasn't had any in a while, I'm not sure that it's readily available over here.

"Yum! I _so miss_ vegemite. When I first came here I used to get Mum to send it to me every time I ran out of it, but she hasn't sent some in a while."

"I have enough with me to keep us going for ages, don't worry. Do you want some on toast?"

"Definitely," she says enthusiastically. "I got the guys on set to try it once and they all thought it was disgusting. I guess it depends on what you grow up with. Vegemite reminds me of home," she says wistfully. "We need to head off in about an hour okay?"

"I'll be ready."

I noticed that everyone was wearing jeans when I was at the Studio yesterday, so I decide to wear my best Levis, with a cute pale blue blouse and a navy linen jacket over the top. I have paired it with a long gold necklace that has a lock and key charm on the bottom of it. It's one of my favourites despite the fact that Cole gave it to me.

I've pulled my hair up in to a messy bun on top of my head and kept my make-up minimal. My bright red lipstick and large gold hoops in my ears pull the outfit together. I feel good, ready to face the day.

Olivia and I head to the Studio together in her zippy little red sports car, and park in her designated place. Her license plate number adorns a small wooden stake that is pushed in to the ground in front of her parking spot. Olivia needs to head straight to hair and make-up this morning to get ready for filming, so I leave her in her dressing room and head down the hall towards the office that I now share with Joshua. He's not there when I arrive so I sit at my desk and start to arrange things to my liking. I've brought a few photos from home with me, so I pin those to the board beside my lap top.

One is of my parents sitting on the beach together, looking in love and smiling at the lens. The other is of me and my group of friends back home.

I have four really close girlfriends that I've known since we started high school together. I was really lucky to befriend a group of girls that have always stuck by each other and never resorted to bitchy cat fights. We all love each other and are like sisters. I'm really going to miss them all, but they have all promised to visit while I'm here.

I'm just pinning the second photo to the board when I feel a presence in the office.

"Good Morning Ava, do you know where Josh is?" a deep voice says from behind me.

I turn to face the voice, and wow.

Just.

Wow.

It's Ethan, and he looks incredible this morning. His sandy brown hair is tousled like yesterday but is still wet around the edges. His body is encased in black cargo pants and a tight white t-shirt that shows off every plane and muscle of his amazing chest. The stark white of his top highlights the golden tan that he wears like a pro. His deep blue eyes are staring at me in the same way as they did yesterday, and I find it really hard to look away, even though my body goes in to overdrive when I look straight at him. It's like he is glaring in to my soul and can see every deep dark secret that is there.

I catch my breath; swallow past the lump in my throat, and reply smoothly. "Good Morning Ethan. I haven't seen him this morning. I'm sure he isn't far away."

Ethan lowers himself down in to Joshua's chair and cocks his head to the side. I still need to pinch myself to believe that I'm actually in his company.

It is surreal to be sitting across from someone that you have only ever read about it magazines and gossip columns. A crooked grin emerges on his face and his eyes sparkle. His expression makes him even more handsome, if that's possible. He smells edible, like soap and something else that I can't put my finger on. Probably some exotic body wash that he has lathered all over that gorgeous body this morning.

_Note to self: Stop these types of thoughts when he is sitting in front of you Ava_! I can practically feel the blush staining my skin from my neck to my cheeks.

"Well I think I'll just wait for him to get here. It will give me a chance to talk to you."

_Oh no, please don't. The power of speech seems to exit the building when you're close to me...._

"What made you decide to leave Australia and come out here?"

I wipe my sweaty palms along my jeans, and sit up straight trying to get air in to my lungs. _Why does he make me so nervous?_

"Not much to tell you I'm afraid. I just graduated from University and felt like a change. Olivia gave me this opportunity and it just felt right. There's nothing tying me to home right now, so it's a perfect time to spread my wings a bit."

"Ah, so you're on a journey of self-discovery then?" he says with a cocky grin.

I have to tell myself to breathe.

_In and out._

_In and out._

My reaction to his presence is just ridiculous. I've never had such an intense visceral reaction to another human being before. Obviously I'm going to have to make a conscious effort when I am around anyone famous to act casually.

_If that's even possible._

_Wait he asked me a question, answer it you idiot!_

"Not self-discovery. No. I think I'm pretty aware of who I am. I prefer to think of it as a new adventure or a new chapter. A chance for me to decide what I want to do with my life and where I want it to go."

He nods and sits forward in the chair towards me. His elbows are resting on his thighs and his chin rests on his hands. He looks adorable. "So why didn't you go straight in to a career following your studies?"

"I studied Journalism, and although it was my choice to do that, I'm not sure where I want to take it. I've always done what's expected. I worked hard at school, got good grades and graduated with honours from University. I've been the nice, good girl that my parents always expected me to be. I guess now is my time to _not_ do what is expected of me. I just want a bit of freedom from home, and a chance to find out where my place is in the world."

_Way to go Ava. You've just spilled your guts to Ethan Drake. I'm sure he didn't want to know all that._

Ethan smiles that breathtaking crooked grin again and sits back in the chair. "Well if there is ever a place for you to find yourself and live on the edge, LA is it. This place presents a lot of opportunity, especially to someone who has never been here before. I'd be happy to show you around town a bit, introduce you to some people, and help you to be _naughty_ rather than nice."

_He is the devil!_

My breath hitches and I have to look away. Those words - _naughty rather than nice -_ coming from his lips, are a little too much for me right now.

Wait! Did he just say that he would be happy to show me around town?

_Oh yes please!_

I spin my chair around, and pretend I need to grab something from my purse so I can break eye contact. I hear a light chuckle come from Ethan. Goddammit, he knows that he is getting to me. I spin back around and he's standing right beside my chair, leaning over me and staring at the photos I have tacked to the board. I inhale that scent again and it scrambles my thoughts. No one should smell that damn good.

"Are those your parents?" he asks pointing at their photo, brushing my arm as he does. Goosebumps break out from the place of contact and flow outward to every corner of my skin.

"Yes, that photo was taken on a holiday when we went to Queensland. My family loves the beach. Well everyone in Australia loves the beach, because the majority of us live near one."

"They look so happy together in that photo," he says with a sad edge to his voice.

"They are very happy together, always have been." I state proudly.

"You're very lucky to have two parents that love each other and obviously love you and your sister. Not everyone has that." He says that so emphatically that I can't miss the fact that there is more behind that statement than he is letting on.

His eyes look cloudy and his face looks pained. Ethan has obviously not had the loving family life that I have been lucky enough to grow up in. His expression makes something twist in my gut, and I have an overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around him and give him a hug.

Of course I don't do that.

It would freak him out.

Ethan has a vulnerable side and it makes me realise that the public persona is not all that there is to him. He has always been painted as the playboy son of _Hollywood Royalty_ in the magazines. It makes him appear shallow and arrogant. The Ethan that is in front of me now is neither of those things, and it intrigues and fascinates me.

He grabs a piece of paper from Josh's desk and starts to fiddle with it, folding it over and over. I'm not sure if it is a nervous gesture or just something to keep his hands busy while we chat, but it is distracting.

I pull my eyes away from his hands and ask, "What about your family Ethan. Any brothers or sisters?"

I know that he doesn't have any siblings, and that it has only been him and his mother growing up, but I don't want him to know that I have an obsession with gossip magazines. Now that he is in front of me I want him to tell me about himself, I don't want to rely on what I've read.

I've already seen another side to him in the few minutes that we've been talking that contradicts everything I have ever read about him. Don't get me wrong, I am not so stupid as to not believe some of what the magazines say. It is clear that he goes through women like he changes his underwear, and that there is never a shortage waiting to take him on - I've seen the paparazzi photos. Yet as he sits here with me now, I detect a loneliness and vulnerability that you could never put down in words.

He answers me softly. "No brothers and sisters, just my mother and me. Oh and Nanny Grace."

"Nanny Grace?"

"Nanny Grace was my nanny from when I was born until I turned 18. She raised me. She was more of a mother to me than my own mother has ever been."

"Oh."

I don't know what to say to that.

The tabloids always made out that he and his mother were really close, portraying her as the perfect parent. Amazing how what you read can be so deceiving. It makes me somewhat disgusted in some areas of my studied profession.

"It sounds like you two are close?" I ask.

"Yes we are. She's in a nursing home now, but I try to get in there and see her as much as I can. She's an amazing lady, full of life and young at heart. I wanted her to stay at our home, but my mother felt it was better for her to be in a place where there was proper medical care."

I detect the disdain when Ethan talks about his mother. Obviously there is no love lost there. I can't imagine the Ethan that I've read about in the tabloids visiting an old lady in a nursing home, I can't get my head to put the two images that I have of him together. What a contradiction. It's like I've always thought of him a particular way and today is challenging that - in a good way.

A really good way.

"So are you going to the party tonight at Ryan's?" he asks as he seamlessly changes the subject.

"Yes, I've been invited. I still feel a little jet lagged so I'm not sure how long I'll last. I'm looking forward to it though."

"It'll be a good night. Ryan throws great parties and my best friend's band is playing. They're called _Awesome Rebel_ and they are fucking amazing." He pauses and looks down and then says, "Sorry."

I chuckle at his obvious embarrassment at cursing in front of me. "We curse in Australia too you know Ethan. Nothing I haven't heard before."

He laughs - the sound of which sends shockwaves through my system.

It is just so _male_.

Deep and rumbling.

He rises and heads toward the door just as Joshua comes flying in, coffee in hand. "Morning you two."

"Morning Josh. Have you got my schedule for Monday finalised yet? I need to fit in an appointment."

"It's almost there, let me know what you need me to fit in and I can move a few things around."

"Okay thanks. Nice talking to you Ava, I'll see you at the party tonight."

"See you then."

He smiles again, allowing his plump lips to pull up at each end, and moves to leave the room. I fill my lungs with air, taking the first deep breath since he strolled in to the office this morning. I'm proud of myself for getting through my first proper conversation with Ethan alone without making a total fool of myself. Now I just need to get my body to cooperate and get rid of the nerves I experience whenever he is around, and all will be perfect.

Joshua is frantically setting everything up at his desk, looking flustered.

"Are you okay Josh, you seem a bit tense this morning?"

"I'm fine, I just hate battling LA traffic. Some days it gets me down. Sorry you had to deal with Ethan by yourself."

"No worries. It was good to chat to him, makes him seem less of a celebrity and more human. It will make life easier to be around him. I don't want to feel intimidated by the talent. I need to look at them as normal human beings. This is all so new to me," I confess.

"Well you haven't met Madeline yet, so let's see how that theory works out on her." Joshua says with a smile. "You'll get used to it though. I was so star-struck when I first started working as Ethan's PA, but now they all seem like regular, everyday people to me. It just takes a little time."

I turn to grab a pad and paper so I can start to take notes from Josh on what needs to be done, and I notice a perfectly folded origami flower sitting on my keyboard.

Ethan must have left it for me.

That's what he was doing while we were chatting. My heart skips a beat as I tuck it away on the pin board next to the photo of my parents.

Josh settles in and starts to show me how the schedules are set up in the computer and on the ipad. Everything is synched together so that I can work on the ipad from home, and still access the same schedules and calendars if I need to. I love the fact that I can work remotely from this office and stay on top of everything.

He goes in to great detail about the filming process and how the day on set works. When they shoot on location, we need to go too. When they are on their lunch breaks we need to be there to ensure that they eat and are looked after. If they need an appointment set up with a voice coach, or rehearsal time with a co-star, we arrange that too.

Every aspect of Olivia's life will be programmed and scheduled by me. I'm starting to understand why she wanted me to do this for her. I wouldn't want anyone else running my sister's life like this. She needs me to look out for her and she trusts me to say when enough is enough.

I can do that.

I think I'm going to be good at this.

#

# Time to Party

#

I walk through the large double doors in to the grand imposing entrance of Ryan's home and look around. As always, the usual suspects are here. Lots of scantily clad women ready to offer themselves up on a platter.

_Hell yeah!_

There is a type in Hollywood that flit from party to party, hoping to either hit it with a celebrity and get their name in the paper, or wanting to make it big themselves. They all look and smell the same. Of course most of them are gorgeous to look at, but shallow once they open their mouths.

Not that I ever complain.

I'm not in to _talking_ to them.

I scan the room, noticing that Ryan's place looks incredible as always.

It's your typical Hollywood mansion, showcasing lots of open spaces, high floor-to-ceiling windows, shiny surfaces and expensive furnishings.

Ryan is known for his parties and they never disappoint. The backyard looks like it has lanterns hanging from every available tree branch and the lights are on over the pool to highlight the lush tropical landscape. There is a large shiny white dance floor set up on the patio next to the stage that has been erected for the evening.

Expensive finger food is being passed around on silver trays by model-like women, dressed in short black skirts and tight white shirts that leave little to the imagination. Most importantly, the alcohol is flowing.

I can see Grayson standing towards the back of the double doors that lead out to the patio near the stage, so I head his way as I weave around the bodies, acknowledging some of the people from the Studio on my way with a nod. He is swigging from his beer and smiling at someone who is out of my view. Obviously he is hitting on tonight's conquest. I want to see who the lucky lady is.

I round the corner and see...Ava.

_No fucking way Gray!_

She looks incredible in a tight fitting little black dress that hugs her slight curves in all the right ways. Her dark hair is down, unlike this morning, and falls in thick waves halfway down her back and across her perfectly proportioned chest. Her legs are tanned from the Aussie sun, and her shoes are tall and black doing amazing things for those legs. Her plump lips are bright red, and her smile is so bright it could light the length of the Vegas strip.

She is talking animatedly with Grayson and _Jesus_ does that piss me off. I've only been in her company twice since I've met her, and all together it can't have been for more than five minutes, but I don't want Gray talking to her.

I don't want her to be _his_ pick up tonight.

I don't want her to be _anyone's_ pick up tonight.

I don't know why I feel like that but I just do.

She seems sweet and untouched by the LA bullshit, and I don't want to see her end up like many of the others that grace this room.

I head towards them with more purpose.

"Hey man," Grayson says as I approach. "I was just telling Ava how we love to head to the beach. We should try and get there over the weekend and make a day of it. The weather is supposed to be hot."

"Yeah that sounds great." I look to Ava. "Hey Ava," I smile at her.

"Hey," she says back and takes a swig of her drink.

I think I make her nervous. I just hope that they are good nerves and not bad ones. I like that I affect her; I just want to be affecting her in the right way. That is, the heart-beating-fast-goose-bumps-down-the-arms kind of way rather than the you-intimidate-me-so-much-I-can't-be-near-you, kind of way.

Now, let's get Grayson out of the way. "Are you all set up and ready to go man?" I ask him.

"Sure are, we start our set in about three minutes." Grayson lowers his voice and whispers in my ear. "Lots of great talent here tonight E, but I think I found mine already." He wiggles his dark eyebrows up and down suggestively.

I lean in towards his ear and say, "Stay away from her Gray, she's not your type, trust me, I already told you that yesterday."

He pulls back and stares in to my eyes, searching for the reason that I seem to be acting like a crazy man over a girl that I have no right to be acting that way over. "Okay, okay, are you staking your claim?" he asks, smiling at me devilishly and raising his hands in surrender.

I raise my eyebrows at him in warning.

Ava interrupts, "What type of music do you play Grayson?"

"All original stuff but we do occasionally take requests and play some rock covers. What type of music do you like Ava, maybe I can play one for you tonight?" Grayson is working his charm on Ava to piss me off. He smiles at me out of the corner of his eye after that last line.

I just shake my head.

Ava blushes pink - _damn if that doesn't make her adorable_ \- and says, "I like current stuff - Katy Perry, Bruno Mars, Pink, and I _love_ Jason Derulo."

Grayson and I both screw up our faces and say, "Jason Derulo!" loudly back at her at the same time. Not that we have anything against him, he's just not someone that either of us has paid much attention to.

"I'm not really in to anyone who likes to whisper their own name at the start of every song," Grayson says with a laugh.

Ava blushes more deeply - _damn if it doesn't make her irresistible_.

"He doesn't do that at the start of _every_ song," she answers with a smile, "besides his _Tattoos_ album is great. I work out to him all time."

I picture her in her workout clothes, tight and sweaty, and I feel the sizeable bulge behind my zipper grow. I shift to readjust myself discreetly as Grayson speaks.

"Well I'm not sure that we'll be playing any _Jason Derulo_ for you Ava, not really my scene. I could maybe work some Bruno Mars or Pink in there though. Leave it with me. I'd better get up there. Catch you two later." He turns and winks at me before heading up on to the stage to start his set.

Ava is holding an empty beer bottle in her hand so I gesture towards the bar once the music kicks in, and we head that way to grab drinks. "What are you having?"

"Just a beer thanks." Her voice is so sweet and pure.

Melodic.

I love the way her accent curls around the words that come out of her mouth. She has the same husky note to her voice that Olivia has, but her Australian accent is much more pronounced. It adds so much to her character, and I hope that she doesn't lose it while she is here.

I gesture to the bartender for two beers. I hand her a beer and take one for myself, as we both clink the bottles together before taking a swig of the bitter amber liquid.

As I turn around to watch Gray and the boys on stage, I come face-to-face with Natalia.

She is one of my frequent flyers.

That's the name I give to the girls that I fuck regularly, who don't expect any more from me. They're easy and serve a purpose.

Natalia is tall and stacked, with bright blonde hair, and cornflower blue eyes that look too large for her too-thin face. Her full lips are painted a shiny pink, and my mind drifts to all the things that her mouth has done to me previously. She smiles, looks me up and down appraisingly and leans in to my ear.

"Are you busy later? It's been a while," she purrs. Her perfume wafts past my nostrils and causes me to sneeze. She has always worn too much.

With Ava beside me I don't feel like dealing with Natalia right now.

Not the impression I want to give.

I shake my head and lean in to her ear. "Sorry Nat but no time tonight. Call me later in the week?"

"Okay," she says as she shrugs and spins on her heel, heading away from me with swagger, towards her next victim.

Got to give her credit, she takes it from me when she can get it but always has someone else lined up for when I'm not on board. That's why I keep her around; there are no complications or expectations with her. She's easy, in all ways.

"One of your _girls_?" Ava says with a smirk on her face, but disgust clear in her voice.

I spin my head around and face her full on. "What do you mean _one of my girls_?" I ask, trying to sound offended, but failing miserably.

She cocks her head to the side. "Come on Ethan, your reputation precedes you. I know that you have them lining up at your door." Her eyebrows are raised and her eyes are smiling so I know I haven't upset her. If anything she looks bemused by the situation. Almost like it is just what she was expecting from me. That pisses me off a bit. She's judged me before she's given me the chance to show her who I really am.

I think she's humouring me, but I can't be sure.

"Well not lining up at my door, but I'm not complaining," I say with a shrug as I look back out at the dance floor and see Natalia hitting on one of the Production Assistants. She'll move on once she realises that he can't further her in Hollywood. He's just starting out; she sticks with those of us who have already made it to some extent.

Ava laughs and it makes the all the hairs on my arms stand on end and a tingle run through my spine.

"Not what I've heard. I don't think you would have any trouble pulling any woman in this room if you wanted to," she challenges.

I give her a full megawatt smile, the type I reserve for the women I want to pull. "Well I will take that as a compliment coming from you Ava. So you think I can pull anyone here right?"

_Bring it on Ava!_

_Bring it on!_

"Yes I do," she says confidently, chin in the air.

"Okay I'll take that challenge Ava Lucas. Dance with me?" I give her my best panty- dropping smile, taking her beer and mine and placing them on the tray of a passing waitress. I offer her my hand.

Her eyes widen and her breath hitches. I don't think she thought I would try it on her. I don't have any intention of treating her like one of the women I would usually pull, but I think it would be fun to play with her a bit tonight.

I like being around her.

Something about her makes me feel settled. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I like it. I take her hand and pull her towards the dance floor, not giving her the chance to reject me. "Come on."

We move to the centre of the dance floor, making our way through the sea of moving bodies. Gray's voice is loud and soulful across the outdoor area, and there are already a lot of people dancing. _Awesome Rebel_ is pumping out one of their best known songs, a fast rock tune that is heavy on the bass.

Perfect to dance to.

Once settled amongst the throng of people, I hook my arm around Ava's waist and pull her against me. I don't miss the gasp as it leaves her perfect marshmallow lips. I loosen my grip ever so slightly and rest both my hands on her perfect round hips. My fingers bite in to her skin through the fabric of her dress, and I try to hold myself together so I don't move too quickly and scare her off.

We start to move.

Ava knows how to dance and suddenly the thought that she has done this with someone else previously makes me feel all caveman-like. I don't want to think of her doing this with anyone but me.

Our hips are swinging in time to the beat and I pull her closer to me, allowing more contact. The small, fast breaths she is taking cause her perfect tits to brush against my chest, and I can feel them rise and fall with each intake of air.

She curls her hands around the nape of my neck as she relaxes and gets in to the music. Our bodies melded together, our feet barely moving, but right now I feel like I could be soaring through the sky.

This girl....

This girl makes me feel such a contradiction of emotions.

The settled feeling I felt when I first led her to the dance floor has now evaporated and I feel a little out of my depth. Like there is something about her that is going to unman me, change me, and turn my life in to something that I don't recognise.

The rhythm of the song picks up and we move closer, deepening the sweep of our hips and pulling us so close that every part of her that I can press against is in contact with me. My leg bends between hers until she is dancing against my thigh, almost straddling my leg, and the tingles that sweep through my blood stream cause me to harden instantly.

My heart feels like it is about to die in my chest. It is beating so damn hard that I don't think it can withstand this dance for much longer.

Ava's eyes are sparkling and her cheeks are flushed red, with desire, and want and longing...

For me.

As Gray's voice fades and the song comes to an end, I pull back. For no reason than to stop the thump of my heart that I fear may stop at any moment due to overuse.

Ava is looking up at me with big round eyes and I want to kiss her so bad, so fuckin' bad, that I dig my fingernails in to my palms to stop my hands from framing her face and taking what I want.

She is breathless and takes another step backwards as she says, "Thanks for the dance. I need to go find Liv, I haven't met Ryan yet."

"Okay. Well maybe we can have another drink later?" I say as casually as I can, trying to keep my voice calm and even.

"Sounds great. Catch you later," she says as she hurries away.

_Great, what the hell was that?_

This girl has been in my life for five fucking minutes and she's having some sort of weird effect on me.

I don't get it.

I don't like it.

At least I _think_ I don't like it.

Fuck - I need another drink!

#

# What was that?

#

O _h._

_My._

_God._

I.

Am.

Mortified.

_Mortified!_

_What the hell was that?_

I shouldn't have danced with him. It brought feelings to the surface of my skin that I should not be having for Ethan Drake of all people. He is Hollywood royalty, a real celebrity and soon to be a huge movie star, and I was dry humping him on the dance floor at the first party I've been to in LA. Get a grip Ava.

_Who the hell do you think you are!_

I hurry through the large crowd to where I see my striking sister lounging next to a large tropical-style pool. It's amazing. There are real waterfalls, a huge bubbling Jacuzzi and so many lounge chairs that there are too many to count. I don't think I would have enough friends to fill them all. It looks like a luxurious resort.

Candles are floating on the surface of the water and flickering in hurricane lamps on the side tables that sit beside each lounge chair. Lanterns fill the trees. It is serene and beautiful and it screams expensive.

"Hey Sis..." Olivia calls out to me, "...come meet Ryan."

A man stands up from the lounge chair next to Olivia's. He is tall and ruggedly handsome. His dark hair falls across his forehead, and he has dark designer stubble along his strong jaw that highlights his wide smile and kind eyes.

A total grade-A hottie.

Perfect for my gorgeous sister.

He holds out his hand to me. "Hi Ava, so great to meet you, I'm Ryan. Liv has been so excited about you coming out here."

He has a slight twang to his accent; he must be from the South.

It's adorable.

"Nice to meet you too and thanks for having me here tonight."

"You're most welcome. I'm glad to meet some of Liv's family and I hope to meet the rest of them at some stage too." He gives Liv a wink and she smiles at him sweetly. Wow, maybe this is more than just a fling to her; that would be a first for my sister.

"Take a seat with Liv and I'll get you a drink. What would you like?"

"Just a beer thanks," I say with a shrug. I'm a simple girl at heart. Give me a beer and chicken wings any day and I'm happy.

Ryan smiles and shakes his head at me. "Oh no, this is the first time you're at one of my parties so you have to try the signature drink. Tonight it's a martini with midori and pineapple. Let me get you one."

Sweet froufrou drinks have never really been my thing, but I'm not about to argue with the tall, dark, handsome specimen in front of me. "Okay," I state.

"Back in a minute, I'll bring you one too Liv." He bends and pecks my sister on the lips before turning towards the bar.

"Liv, he seems adorable. What a sweetheart. He's so good looking too." I fan my face to push the point home and my sister giggles.

Yes! She _giggles!_

Very un-Olivia-like.

She gives me a knowing smile, "I know. He is. I'm starting to really fall for him. I just don't want anything to go wrong that could upset the movie. If anything happened and we weren't together I think it would make things really awkward." This is a very level-headed version of my sister. Usually she jumps in with both feet.

I like this side of her.

"I understand. Better not to fraternise with work colleagues. Bit late for that though now isn't it? You both seem really taken with one another and I think it's sweet. I've never seen you smile like that at anyone before. Not even David Grant," I say with a wink.

David was my sister's childhood sweetheart. They were together for four years while we were in High School. He adored her, and she adored him adoring her. It was sweet in a weird kind of way.

"Oh please Ava, David was my high school boyfriend, I have _so_ moved past that by now."

"I know but you were pretty serious with him, and you never looked at him the way you just looked at Ryan. Not once." I raise my eye brows at Olivia to let her know that I noticed the difference.

She shrugs and looks out over the party. "Well I'm still playing things cool at the moment. I don't want to jeopardise the relationship or the movie."

"Well good for you, you're thinking smart and reaping the benefits of having a gorgeous looking guy on your arm." This town has obviously made Olivia do some growing up. She has always been street smart, well much more so than me, but she seems even more so now. More responsible, older, more grounded.

Ryan returns with two yellowy-green looking cocktails in martini glasses. I raise mine to my lips and take a sip of the sweet syrupy drink. It's actually pretty nice and quite refreshing on this warm evening in LA. I don't want to drink too much tonight. I'm still tired from my flight and my body clock is not running to LA time yet. Too much alcohol would only make that worse so I pace myself with the martini.

"So Ryan, your home is amazing." I say, trying to make small talk.

"Thanks Ava, I've been here for about two years now. I love it. I had the pool and kitchen remodelled when I bought it, but other than that I loved it on sight. It's my oasis in the middle of busy LA." He smiles and he really is incredibly handsome. Seeing them side by side, he and my sister make an incredibly attractive couple.

"Hey Ava!"

I turn to see Joshua and Chelsea heading towards me. Chelsea looks so cute in a red baby doll dress and killer red heels. Her blonde hair is curled and is tumbling over her shoulders, bouncing with each step she takes. Joshua looks proud to have her on his arm.

"Ava, come dance with us. Plus we owe you some shots," Chelsea says in her cute voice.

I down the rest of my martini - _so much for taking it slow_ \- and turn to Olivia and Ryan to excuse myself. I head back towards the dance floor with Joshua and Chelsea leading the way. I hope that Ethan is no longer there because I don't think my legs or my heart could take another dance with him. Avoiding him for the remainder of tonight is my newest mission.

We three head to the centre of the pulsing dance floor and start to move. Grayson's band is playing a really fast up-tempo song and the crowd are all singing along to it, so it is obviously one of the favourites. Everyone is jumping on their feet and the atmosphere is electric. Grayson's voice is amazing and he is very sexy on stage. Totally at home in the limelight. He touches the microphone like he is caressing a woman and looks over the crowd with hooded eyes, never missing a beat or a lyric.

I can't believe that these guys aren't a household name - they are so good.

Grayson makes eye contact with me as my eyes run over the length of him on that stage, and he gives me a cheeky wink. I feel the blush rising from my neck at being caught gazing at him. I let myself go with the music and start to dance like I would at home, like no one is watching. No doubt the alcohol has helped to lessen my inhibitions. Joshua and Chelsea are beaming at one another and jumping about in the same way as I am. I'm grateful to have made two new friends already.

Grayson announces another song and the crowd all whistle and cheer. He then turns towards the microphone and says, "Hey Everyone, we have a newbie here tonight and I think we need to give her the full Hollywood _Awesome Rebel_ treatment. This is Ava, Olivia Lucas' sister."

_Oh No!_

The crowd all cheer as Grayson gestures towards me, the spotlight following his hand until it bathes me in light, and I feel my face heating up for what feels like the millionth time tonight. I hate being the centre of attention. I just want to curl up in a ball and hide.

"Get on up here Ava," he calls through the microphone.

_I want to kill Grayson right about now._

I fix a smile to my face as I make my way to the stairs beside the stage and slowly climb. Grayson is staring at me with the most adorable grin on his face. He really is sexy. Right now though, I want to punch him.

Hard.

When I reach the stage I don't look out over the crowd, because that would terrify me. I look straight at Grayson who hands me a tambourine.

"Ever played one of these before? All newcomers to our little circle have to break in the tambourine. Your sister has done it before, now it's your turn." He smiles at me, and I feel a little of my fear melt away - that smile could light the night sky.

Little does Grayson know that when I was at University we used to frequent the on-campus bar on band nights. We would all take turns playing the tambourine with the in-house band. I was pretty good at it too. I definitely have rhythm. I'm not about to reveal that to Grayson though. I take the tambourine from him and give him the dirtiest look I can muster. He breaks out in to a laugh which causes me to grin at him. I can't stay mad at him when he looks at me like that.

Grayson's smooth voice takes the microphone. "This one's just for you Ava," he says as he points to me. The music kicks in and I recognise that they're playing a cover of _Uptown Funk_ by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars - one of my favourites.

As the beat kicks in, I can't help but get into it as the crowd all start to jump about again, not paying me too much attention. I start by slapping the tambourine to the beat against my thigh. Grayson smiles at me encouragingly and I start to relax in to the tempo of the song. By half way through I'm alternating between slapping the instrument on my thigh and giving it a shake, before slapping it rhythmically against my palm. I'm having fun and feel like I'm starting to become part of this strange new place that I now inhabit.

By the end of the song I hand the tambourine back to Grayson and thank him. I enjoyed that. I think the buzz of alcohol in my system helped me relax and get through it.

Grayson smiles at me. "You did great Ava; I'll have to get you back up here again. You've got _rhythm_ girl."

I shake my head at him and smile, before descending the stairs carefully in my high heels and heading back to my new friends on the dance floor.

The tempo of the next song Grayson starts is slow and everyone starts to couple up. Joshua and Chelsea are already in each other's arms - _yes definitely something going on there_ - so I start to head off to find Liv.

Before I take my second step, strong arms encircle my waist before I can reach the end of the dance floor, and turn me around.

Ethan looks down on me and says, "Stay and dance with me." His deep voice skitters across my skin, and I know that where he is concerned I am screwed.

Totally.

Completely.

Utterly.

Screwed!

My body is traitorous and I know he can feel my pulse speeding up under his touch.

Ethan hooks his arm around me again and brings me flush against him. Tighter than last time. He's not being as careful, and the thought both thrills and terrifies me.

I place my arms around his strong back to ground myself, and I can feel his muscles flexing and releasing beneath his shirt as he moves in time to the music. Looking up I find him staring right at me, so intense and so possessive.

He is really beautiful.

He drugs me - with his eyes, and his scent and his body as it moves against mine. I can't seem to move my focus from his and I'm not sure that I want to. I'm on Ethan overload. I never want it to end.

The music picks up in intensity and Ethan spins me in his arms so my back is flush against his chest. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me back against him.

Hard.

I'm pinned against him chest to hip and it feels electric. His hands move back down to my hips, skimming my sides before he digs his fingertips in to my flesh causing a flutter of excitement to pulse through me. I can feel his arousal against my lower back and I can't get enough.

He's big.

And hard.

And big....

I push my ass back in to him and I feel, rather than hear the gasp, as he attempts to take in air. I love knowing that I have affected him this way.

I feel powerful.

I feel female.

I feel strong.

I feel sexy.

I place my hands over his on my hips and we move together in a deeper rhythm, bending our knees and sweeping our hips. My heart is beating so fast and my pulse feels like hummingbird wings. I know he feels it and I can feel it from him too. I don't know why I'm not stopping this. He is so out of my league, but I can't seem to help it.

He bends his head and I can feel his hot breath on my ear. Goosebumps break out across the surface of my skin. " _Ava_ ..." he says in a low voice. "Does your challenge still stand? Do you still think I can pull anyone at this party tonight?"

"Yes," I reply in a breathless whisper, barely able to get the words out of my mouth.

"My pick?" he says with a growl.

I nod.

"Then I pick _you_ ," he says.

My heart stutters.

Stops.

And then kicks in again.

I turn in Ethan's arms and look up at him. We're still moving in time to the music, still thrusting our hips to the beat, but I can't stop staring in to his beautiful deep-blue eyes.

My brain kicks back in and I realise that this is not the way things should go. I can't do this.

Certainly not with him.

"Ethan, I'm not sure that would be a good...."

His mouth crashes on to mine and his lips start to move, swallowing the words that were about to escape. He caresses my lips with his. I'm kissing Ethan Drake and it feels unlike anything I have ever felt before.

I never felt this with Cole.

I can feel his kiss in my toes, my fingertips, and in other places that have woken up after a few months of neglect.

Ethan continues to work his lips over mine. He tastes of beer and a hint of something else, maybe mint, whatever it is I feel intoxicated.

Drugged.

Addicted.

To him.

His fingers dig in to my hips and my arms encircle his neck, my fingertips tangling in to the hair at his nape, allowing the silky strands to tickle my senses.

His tongue pushes through my lips, seeking entrance and starts to tangle with mine. My breath starts to falter and I feel like I'm getting my air through his mouth. The connection is that close. Ethan tilts his head slightly and the kiss deepens, his tongue rubbing against mine in the very best way.

A low moan escapes his throat and I nearly faint. It is the most erotic sound I've ever heard. As our lips work across each other's, I start to become aware of the fact that the song we were dancing to has stopped. I open my eyes and notice that the dance floor is now empty except for us.

I pull back abruptly and suck in the vital air that my lungs need to function. I need to switch my brain back on.

Ethan takes a step back too and runs his hand through his sexy hair. The effect only making it look more dishevelled and model-like. It looks like he's been running his fingers through it over and over and suddenly I want to be the one doing that.

I glance around the edge of the dance floor quickly and my eyes meet Olivia's. She is looking at me with a cheeky grin and both eye brows high. Great, I didn't need an audience for that kiss and now she has seen it all. My sister will never let me live this down.

I turn back towards Ethan and he is staring at me with those eyes again. He looks confused, sexy, and is breathing as heavily as I am.

"What the hell was that Ava?"

"You kissed me Ethan, so you tell me," I shoot back at him. I can't think straight right now, so sassy seems to be the attitude that makes an appearance.

"Wow," he says as he steps closer towards me, wrapping his arms back around me.

_My sentiments exactly!_

I need to stop this now.

My body is not listening to anything I'm saying and I can't let myself be that close to him again. I won't be one of his _girls_ and I don't want a relationship with Ethan Drake. He's way out of my league.

This _has_ to stop now.

Dammit.

Why did I drink so much? This has to be blamed on alcohol!

"Sorry. That shouldn't have happened. I'm really tired, I need to go home."

I pull back from the circle of his arms and spin around to head off the dance floor to grab my things and call a cab. I need to get out of here.

Now!

Great! 24 hours in my new home and already I've broken every rule I set!

_Way to go Ava!_

I make my way outside, trying to put distance between myself and Ethan, and all the while I keep wondering how I'm going to stay away from him now that I've had a taste.

Like I said - _I'm screwed_!

#

# Meet Madeline Rose

#

I don't know what happened last night but I've never had such an extreme reaction to just a kiss before. I would've laid Ava out on the dance floor and taken her right there if she'd let me. Yet, I'm glad she's not like that. I just don't know why she ran out of there so fast. I know she felt it too, I could feel the speed of her pulse beneath my fingertips, I could hear her breathing, and it was as laboured as mine.

She was gorgeous and sweet and sexy and intoxicating...

There's something about her that I can't get out of my system. Maybe I just need to take her and get it over with. Fuck her out of my system.

Even thinking like that seems wrong. Thinking of her in such a way doesn't sit well with me. She's not just one of those girls. She's not just a conquest. I don't think I could ever get enough of her if I was lucky enough to go there with her.

Should that be my plan though - seduce her, take her and get it done? Fuck, I don't know if that would even work.

She's under my skin in the worst way.

I'm striding through the hall at the Studio, determined to see her again. I don't know why she ran off last night but I'm not letting her off the hook that easily. I'm addicted and I need my fix.

Now.

As I round the corner I see her perched on the long leather sofa in Olivia's dressing room. She's dressed in faded skinny jeans and a pink blouse that shows off her generous tits, with that dark hair tumbling around her shoulders. Her feet are tucked up underneath her, and she is typing furiously on her lap top as Olivia talks to her from the make-up chair.

She is really beautiful.

She doesn't have the same flashy features as her sister, but somehow I think she is much more attractive than her. She is natural and sweet and everything is in proportion, except for those lush lips that look like they've been stung by a bee.

She must sense that I'm standing in the doorway, because her gaze moves from what she's doing and turns towards me. I give her my best smile and try to put her at ease. She smiles back shyly before looking back to her screen, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Mornin' Ladies," I grin, slathering on the charm.

Olivia gives me a knowing smile through the mirror and responds. Ava looks at me again through the veil of her hair with a smile and greets me too. I don't want her to feel shy with me. I want her to be comfortable so that I can find out more about her and explore my theory. I really think sleeping with her will help to get her out of my system.

_Maybe._

_Probably not!_

_Fuck!_

It's always worked for me before. It's like the moment I fuck a woman, I've satisfied my craving. I know that makes me an asshole, but it is what it is.

"What time are you expected on set Ethan?" Olivia asks me.

"Not til ten. You?"

"I'm doing a couple of solo scenes this morning so I'm down for eight thirty," she responds as she slathers white cream all over her face and neck.

I check my watch and see that it is only eight o'clock. "Olivia would you mind if I steal Ava from you for half an hour?"

Olivia gives Ava a look through the mirror and says, "No, that's fine Ethan, steal away." I see the two sisters exchange a glance. Not sure what the meaning is behind it but they both look concerned. Not good. I don't want Olivia warning Ava off me, or interfering. I know she is like a mother hen when it comes to her younger sister. I try to appease them. "Don't worry Liv; I'll bring her back in one piece. I'm just taking her to breakfast."

Ava's eyebrows shoot up and her eyes go wide. They are the most expressive eyes I have ever seen. Right now she looks surprised, confused and if I'm being honest, a little uneasy. She rises from the sofa and puts her wedged sandals on her feet, fastening each strap over her slim ankles. Every part of her is perfection. She grabs her purse and walks past me without a glance.

"See you in a few," she calls to Olivia over her shoulder as she starts to head towards the café.

I follow along behind, hands shoved in my pockets to resist reaching for her, amused by the fact that I've invited her to breakfast and she hasn't said a word about it. Not to mention the fact that she is leading the way to the café. What if I'd had something else in mind? Her presumption annoys me so I catch up with her and grab her wrist, causing her to jerk to a stop and turning her to face me. I pull her up tightly against my chest and ask, "Where are you going?"

Those big eyes look through me, wide and alight. "To the café, I thought you wanted to have breakfast," she says with her chin out and head held high. I can feel her heart beating against my chest so she can't fool me.

"I didn't say what I wanted for breakfast Ava. Maybe it wasn't food," I tease.

_Bingo!_

Those big wide eyes of hers give her away again.

Her pulse is racing now too.

Fast and sure.

The little vein on the side of her neck fluttering.

"I thought we could have something in my dressing room. I'll have Joshua grab breakfast for us." I had every intention of heading to the café, but her presumption makes me want to shake things up a bit.

"Ethan, I wouldn't feel comfortable having Josh do that, and I don't think breakfast in your dressing room is a good idea. Last night we took things to a place that I'm not comfortable with and I don't want us to go there again." She juts out her chin, trying to drive her point home, but I see the conflict in her eyes. She doesn't feel the words that are leaving her mouth. She feels _everything_ from last night and it scares her.

Hell it scares me too.

"Ava, I like what happened last night and I think you did too. Why not revisit and revise?"

She looks at me through her long lashes and tilts her head to the side, pointing her finger to my chest. " _You_ are Ethan Drake - famous celebrity. _I_ am Ava Lucas, girl from Melbourne, Australia. _A nobody_. I don't fit in your world and you would not fit in mine Ethan. Let's just let this go now before it goes any further. I'm not in the market for a relationship, or whatever it is that you do with women."

_Ouch!_

She doesn't pull any punches.

"Please don't call yourself a _nobody_ Ava. That's not the way anyone should ever describe you. Least of all me."

She sighs heavily. "Ethan look, I'll admit that you've been nothing but nice to me since I got here, which is contrary to everything I thought you would be...."

_What the fuck?_

She continues. "...but this is not going to happen. We need to stop it here. Last night was really great but we can't take it any further. I work for the Studio and so do you; we can't mix business with pleasure."

I'm not letting it go that easily. I have to get her out of my system. I need to show her that I'm an ordinary guy. But how do I do that? I live in a fucking mansion, I have staff at my beck and call, I drive a Porsche and my last piece of arm-candy was a supermodel.

Then it hits me.

Nanny Grace.

The only time I'm ever really myself is when I'm with Nanny. She brings out the best in me and treats me like the little boy she raised; not the celebrity that the world sees. I need to take this slowly.

Change of tactic.

"Okay Ava. If you don't want to go there then we won't." I see a flicker of disappointment cross her face. _Good, she's feeling this too._ "Let's just try to be friends then. We have to work together, so we may as well get to know one another."

I see her considering the idea and then she smiles, a gorgeous smile, bright and pure. "Okay, friends it is." She holds out her hand and we shake on it, and I can't ignore the tremor in her hand as she holds mine.

She is affected.

As much as I am.

"Good, then lead the way to café and let's have that breakfast." Ava turns and we resume our walk toward the Studio café side by side. Part one of _Plan B_ is now in motion - friends it is - for now. I have to get her to go see Nanny Grace with me. I want her to see me outside of this environment.

_Jesus Christ, what the fuck am I doing here?_

I've never gone to this trouble for a girl before.

I can have my pick for Christ's sake.

The only explanation I can come up with is that she is a conquest for me. I need to win her over and screw her out of my system for good.

Pun intended.

Later that day I'm rehearsing a scene with Madeline Rose. She's grown up in this business after appearing on a weekly variety show as a kid. She has talent and has a great Agent who has pushed her forward in all the right ways. This is not her first movie; in fact she has two very successful hits under her belt already. Her role in our film is small-fry for her, but she's being compensated handsomely for coming on board in a supporting role. Her name alone will draw audiences in.

The public positively adore her.

Her public image has been perfectly crafted.

Her private persona? Well that leaves a lot to be desired.

We've known each other for about fifteen years. We've travelled in the same circles and know some of the same people, but that's it. Hollywood is a small place. I've never been attracted to her, despite the fact that she is insanely hot. I knew her when she was ten and in grade school, so I can't see her any other way now. Besides, she's too stuck-up for me.

Don't get me wrong, she is beautiful.

She has the same sort of colouring as me, sandy blonde hair that she obviously highlights, and clear, ocean blue eyes. Her hair is straight and silky and falls down her back in straight lines. We're the same age and she is one of the few women that is almost as tall as me.

That's where the similarities end though.

In truth, Madeline reminds me of my mother.

She loves living the Hollywood lifestyle and plays out everything in the spotlight. I'm sure she tips off the paparazzi so that they're ready and waiting for her wherever she goes. Her face graces the covers of the weekly tabloids more than anyone else I know.

We're in the middle of rehearsing a scene where our characters are arguing about a party they are holding, when Olivia and Ava round the corner in to the Studio. Madeline straightens, and pulls herself up out of the chair she is sitting in, stalking towards them.

Madeline does not take newcomers lightly. To say she is not welcoming is the understatement of the century.

She has always been difficult, especially to other women. Madeline gave Olivia a majorly hard time when we first starting shooting. Olivia stood her ground though, and I think that was what impressed me first about Olivia Lucas, she didn't let Madeline stand in her way or intimidate her. That takes a strong person. Madeline can be damn scary when she wants to be.

"Good afternoon Olivia," Madeline says in her uppity manner. "Who is this with you?" she asks, pointing towards Ava with a well-manicured finger.

Olivia squares her shoulders, she can see that Madeline is about to get bitchy.

"Hi Madeline. This is my sister Ava. She's just arrived from Australia to work with me as my PA."

"Great! Another Aussie over here taking jobs that belong to Americans. Way to go!" Madeline says snidely.

She really is a bitch.

She turns and walks towards me with a look of triumph on her face. She throws herself down in to the chair opposite me dramatically and says theatrically, "Welcome Ava to our little family. I do hope you will enjoy being at your sister's beck and call."

Ava is standing staring at Madeline like she has no idea what to do. Her little mouth is open in the shape of a perfect 'O'.

"Claws in Madeline," I say under my breath.

Poor Ava looks like she is about to run and hide.

Madeline is of course oblivious and turns to me, picking up the dialogue exactly where we left it. After a moment of being ignored, Olivia and Ava leave the room. Obviously whatever they came in for is not important enough to put up with Madeline's bullshit.

I give them a small tight smile as they leave, trying to convey my apology for Madeline's hostile behaviour. I don't want to be associated with that in any way.

Especially not where Ava is concerned.

I continue with the dialogue on the page, turning my attention to Madeline, but it is Ava that invades my thoughts as we continue to rehearse for the afternoon.

#

Wow, Madeline Rose is a cow.

What a Bitch!

Olivia and Joshua had warned me, but nothing could prepare me for that. She was cruel. Well my new mission is to steer clear of her for the remainder of the shoot - if I can.

"She's a flat out bitch!" Olivia says coldly as we enter her Dressing Room.

"Yeah, didn't make the best first impression on me," I say.

"Don't worry about her Ava; she's one of the ones I warned you about. We can keep a wide berth. She looks at everyone as dirt beneath her feet, unless you're like Ethan and have grown up in this town."

"No need to tell me twice, I don't care if I never see her again." A shiver runs up my spine when I think of her. I can't believe how nasty she was. I didn't do anything other than look at her. She reminds me of the mean girls in high school, who spent their days trying to bully and upset those that were less intimidating than them.

Cowards!

"Well I'm heading to the Studio gym for a work out Sis, you coming?" Olivia asks.

"Yep, just let me change in to my workout clothes and grab my ipod. I can't train without Jason." I dig through my handbag trying to find my ipod and ear buds.

"Jason?" Olivia questions.

"Derulo," I clarify. "I need my tunes to keep me motivated while I work out."

"You have terrible taste in music Ava, what happened to loving all the classics?" Olivia laughs and heads in to the bathroom to change.

_Why does everyone here have a problem with Jason Derulo? He's great! I'm having a love affair with his latest song - Want to want me._

Once we're both dressed and ready to work out, we walk the long hallway to the end and turn right, away from the café. A door at the end opens in to a huge state-of-the-art work out area. Olivia and I both head straight to the long line of treadmills. They're situated against large windows that look over the courtyard of the studio. The late afternoon sun is streaming in, warming the space, and throwing shards of light across the shiny equipment.

Running has always been a release for me. I love hitting my stride to a great piece of music and leaving all other thoughts behind. It is cathartic.

I turn on my ipod and scroll to my favourite song. I turn it up loud, and start out walking briskly until I feel warm enough to let rip. I start to run and let myself get carried away with the music in my ear buds. After a full thirty minutes on the treadmill, I head over to the exercise bikes and decide to ride for a bit. My legs are already burning, but my thighs need some extra attention.

After ten minutes, I take notice of the time and jump off my bike.

"Liv, you have a voice lesson in forty minutes."

"Thanks, I'll head back to my dressing room and shower."

"Okay. I think I'll work out for a little longer if that's alright?"

"Go for it," Liv says as she swipes a towel across her face. "I'll see you after my voice lesson."

I nod, and as Liv leaves the room, I move to the workout ball and place it under the small of my back to do some sit ups. On my third sit up I come up and face off with a very amused looking Ethan.

He's smiling that gorgeous crooked smile and is crouched down in front of my workout ball, dressed in his gym gear. He has on long black shorts, a grey singlet and black trainers.

He looks edible.

His muscular arms are cut, tanned, and he has a tattoo on the inside of his upper left bicep. I can't tell what it is, but it looks like some sort of Latin script. It's small and distinctive, almost reverent on his arm. It makes him look more desirable.

Delicious!

I want to run my tongue over the script from top to bottom and then back up again.

"If I'd known you were going to be in here in those tight little workout pants, then I would've started my work out earlier," he says, allowing his eyes to rove over every inch of my body. The look alone is setting my blood to boil.

I can't help but smile at him. He's really charming, and as much as I know he's not the guy for me, it's really hard to take the high road here. I really like him and I'm so attracted to him.

Dangerously so.

Then I remember that I've been in here for nearly an hour and am sweaty and disgusting. I'm sure my make-up is smeared down my face, and my hair is matted and stuck to the sides of my face with sweat. I suddenly have an urge to get out of here - really quickly. I don't want him to see me at anything less than my best. Especially when he looks so amazing in his exercise gear. I doubt that a tuxedo could do more for him.

Ethan stands from his crouch and unfolds his long glorious body like a panther that is ready to pounce. My breath falters once, and then I gain my composure. He smiles and turns towards the treadmills and sets the speed to run. He starts running flat out, immediately. I can't help but stare at his long lithe body as it stretches and flexes. There is not one ounce of flesh on his body that is not toned and taut. He is incredibly beautiful and totally out of my league.

I tear my gaze from him and return to my sit ups. I wanted to do one hundred before showering and getting ready to head back to the apartment. Liv has a date with Ryan tonight, so I'm planning a quiet night in with a book and take out. As I continue my work out, I see Ethan watching me through the mirrored walls. I can't deny that it gives me a thrill to know that he's doing that. I try to act as nonchalant as possible and get through my sit ups, before throwing a towel over my sweaty face and moving to leave the gym.

Just as I'm about to head out the door, Ethan calls to me, "Wait Ava."

I turn to look at him.

He's covered in sweat, and damn if that doesn't make him look so sexy that I can't stand it. My body goes in to that familiar _overdrive_ state that it always does when he is in my space.

He's puffing after his run on the treadmill and moves down from it toward me, swigging at the bottle of water that he brought in to the gym with him. "Can I take you to dinner tonight? As friends of course," he adds, almost as an afterthought.

"Actually I was planning a quiet night in. Still getting past the jet lag," I state calmly. I'm proud of myself for trying to turn him down but I can see that he's not going to take no for an answer.

He cocks his head to the side and looks at me through his long lashes. He smiles, all white teeth and dimples. My God he has dimples. _How did I not notice that before?_

"I can do that. How about I bring the best Mexican food in all of LA over and we watch a movie?"

Oh god, I want him to do that. I love Mexican and the thought of eating it with him all but kills me.

This is so not a good idea though. How will I resist him when we are alone at the apartment? What if he tries something? I may not be able to say no. In fact I know I won't be able to say no.

_I did say I wanted to be friends though, so I should be able to enjoy a dinner with him, shouldn't I?_

Before I can think any further I say, "Okay. How about 7pm. You bring the Mexican and I'll order us a movie. Any favourites?" At least if we watch a movie we can take the focus away from each other for a while.

Ethan looks relieved that I've accepted his proposition, a huge smile turning up the corners of his sinful mouth. "No movie preference, ladies choice is fine," he says sweeping his hand towards me.

"See you at 7 then," I say.

I turn toward the door feeling like I've just made a deal with the devil.

"I can't wait Ava," he says in his deep, low, voice from behind me. I don't turn around, but I can feel that sexy smile in his voice, and I know those eyes are just staring through the back of my head like a laser beam.

What have I done?

#

# Burritos and Beers

#

I arrive fashionably late at Ava's Apartment, I don't want to appear too keen. My favourite Mexican restaurant is on speed dial, so I called and drove through to pick up the best tacos, enchiladas, quesadillas and burritos in the land. Not knowing what she likes, I ordered a bit of everything and hoped for the best. I also grabbed a six pack of Corona, may as well match the beer to the food.

I knock twice and wait.

The door swings open to reveal Ava dressed in a pair of faded Levis that have been artfully torn at the knee. I can tell they're the type of jeans that you buy this way. They're sculpted to her body and hug her hips and legs perfectly. She has teamed them with a plain white shirt that hangs off one of her tiny shoulders. She has little-to-no makeup on and she is stunning.

The more I see her, the more attractive I notice her to be.

She's not wearing any shoes and she has her toenails painted a candy-pink colour. I love that I get to see her this way.

It's so refreshing

Most women throw themselves at me. They want only one thing.

Not Ava.

She smiles and pushes the door back so I can enter.

"Here let me help you with those." She takes one of the sacks from my hands, as well as the six-pack, and leads us towards the patio. I've been here to run lines with Liv before so I know my way around the space, although I haven't been past the main room and bathroom before.

Ava leads me to the dining table that has an awesome view of LA. The lights through the large windows are twinkling and the sliding doors to the balcony are open, letting the warm sultry air in to the room.

"Are you happy to eat here or would you rather we eat outside on the balcony?"

"Let's do the balcony," I say. It is a beautiful evening.

We move outside and open up all the take-out containers. Ava brings out plates and cutlery and we drink our beers straight from the bottle. No airs and graces for her. I like that too.

"Mmmmm, this food is amazing," she says as she tucks in to her enchilada. The low groan that is coming from her chest is making it hard for me to swallow. She has to stop doing that, I can't concentrate. I adjust myself under the table.

"I told you this is the best Mexican you can get in LA. Believe me I've tried all of them and you can't get better than this."

"Do you eat a lot of take-out, or do you have people to cook for you at your place?"

I need to be careful how I answer that question. I don't want her to know about the chef we have on staff at the house.

I can't lie to her though.

"We do have staff at the house. My mother insists on having a chef available to her so she can maintain her figure. He'll cook for me too, but to be honest I look after myself most of the time. I'm not really fussed about having fancy gourmet meals served up to me day-in, day-out."

Ava pulls her eyebrows together and gets a little wrinkle above her nose.

I want to kiss it.

"Do you and your mom eat together a lot?" she asks as she picks up a soft shell taco from the plate in the middle of the table.

"No we don't. My mother and I have a polite distant relationship that extends to the occasional dinner together, which is usually served in the formal dining room of the house. She's not your typical loving parent Ava, our relationship is complicated."

I shut the door on that conversation. I don't want to bring down the tone of the evening by talking about my mother. The truth is that we don't really have any type of relationship at all, aside from what she has led the public and the press to believe.

I respect my mother, but I don't even know if I feel love towards her. In truth, I think I could take or leave her. My inability to care about this fact is what alarms me though. I worry that my ability to care about another human being, aside from myself, is tainted because of my lack of parental love and guidance.

Ava opens her mouth to say something further but then pauses and stops herself. I think she realises this is a closed conversation.

"I'm sorry Ethan," is all she says.

I give her a small tight smile and take a bite of my taco. It really is delicious. "No biggie," I say as I begin to chew.

She swigs from her Corona, and before she can say anything further I ask her about her home life. Her entire face lights up as she begins to talk.

"We grew up near the beach in Melbourne. My parents still live in the double storey house that they bought when Olivia and I were kids. Mum and Dad have been married for thirty years and still seem so in love with one another. I can only hope to have that with someone one day." Her eyes gloss over slightly and her mind seems to wander.

I watch as she absently swigs from her bottle again, her plump lips covering the neck.

I think I've lost her for a moment.

"Why that look Ava? Who are you thinking of?"

She shakes her head and looks in to my eyes. "Oh no-one. It's just that sometimes I wonder if meeting the man of my dreams is on the cards for me. The last relationship I had has left me a little jaded." She gives me a small, sweet smile.

"How so?"

She hesitates.

I'm not sure if she does so because she doesn't want to talk about it, or if she doesn't want to talk about it _to me_. She wipes her hands on a napkin and looks back up at me.

"Well after two years together I found out that he had been cheating on me with numerous other girls. All while talking to me about marriage and a life together."

"What an asshole Ava."

_Truly! What. An. Asshole!_

_How stupid could the guy be to let her go?_

Ava looks a little surprised by the conviction that I placed behind that statement. I take a deep breath and calm myself down.

I don't want her to know that I would punch his fuckin' lights out if he were in front of me. That's totally irrational and would only frighten her away. __ In saying that, __ I hate the fact that some dickhead has done that to her. I want to find him and kick the living shit out of him. My hand is fisting at my side just thinking about it.

"Yeah, you got that right," she says, eyes staring down at the table.

My heart starts to pound behind my ribs as I prepare to ask her my next question. The answer of which is making me surprisingly anxious. "Did you love him?"

She nods, almost imperceptibly.

"Do you still love him?"

She shakes her head and looks straight in to my eyes. "Not anymore. It took a while to get over it though. I think coming here and putting the distance between us will make it easier too."

I exhale the breath that I didn't realise I was holding.

_Why should I care if she still loves him? What is it about her that is making me feel like this?_

"To be honest Ethan, I'm not one hundred percent sure that I was _in_ love with him. I sometimes think that I was in love with being in love. In love with having a relationship... Someone to rely on that is always there for you. Does that make sense?"

I nod. I get that.

"He was comfortable, we had mutual friends, we were attracted to one another and I grew to love him over time. But I always knew that he wasn't _the one_. I think he fit the vision that everyone had for me, you know - good looking, great job, bright future......"

"Oh so you _do_ believe that _the one_ is out there somewhere?" I ask, smiling at her.

"Yes I guess I do, I just don't believe in all that love at first sight crap." She screws up her nose when she says that, and damn she's adorable.

She throws her napkin down on to her plate with a flourish. "Well I can't eat another thing," she says. "Do you still want to watch a movie?"

She rises from the table and starts to throw all the empty take-out containers in to one of the bags that I brought them in. In no time the table is cleared. Obviously she's not like me, and doesn't leave her shit around for anyone else to clean up.

"Hell yeah," I say. "What did you decide on?"

I grab the large bag of popcorn that I picked up at the store and take it over to the sofa.

Ava smiles and moves towards the entertainment centre in the middle of the open plan living room. "I didn't know what you'd like, so I ordered a classic - Top Gun - and a recent release....."

Before she goes any further I say, "Top Gun it is, I love that movie."

She grins and says, "me too."

" _I feel the need_ ..." I say in my best _Tom Cruise_ voice, and she joins me, " _the need for speed!_ " repeating the famous line from the movie. We both laugh as Ava directs her attention to the large screen TV on the wall.

I settle on to the large sectional sofa, popcorn and beer in hand, hoping that Ava will sit close by me.

#

I don't know where to sit on the sofa.

If I sit too far from Ethan, it will be weird. But I don't want to sit right next to him - that would be worse. I plop myself down next to Ethan, but not close enough to touch.

I really want to sit right in his lap and snuggle in to his chest while we watch the movie, but that goes against everything I'm trying to stick with. I point the remote at the TV and start the movie.

Ethan extends his arm along the back of the sofa.

He doesn't touch me, but if I placed my head back against the cushion, it could lean on his forearm. We sit in relaxed silence watching the opening credits, but there is a hum of electricity in the air. I can feel it emanating off Ethan, and I'm sure he can feel it coming off me too.

"Turn the lights off Ava; it's too bright to watch a movie with them all on."

I get up and turn out the lights, which leaves only the glow from the large flat-screen TV illuminating the room, as well as the twinkling lights of LA outside the vast windows. I sit back down on the sofa, but this time Ethan places his hand along the back of it and rests his right hand on my shoulder, in a seemingly casual gesture, that sends goose bumps flying up and down my arms.

I don't move, I don't say anything, I don't breathe.

I pretend that it does not affect me at all.

I can't concentrate on a word that Tom Cruise is saying. I don't even remember what has happened in the last five minutes of the movie, and I've see it millions of times.

Ethan's fingers start to rub tiny circles across the exposed skin on my shoulder. Each rotation sends sparks flying through my veins, and I feel all lit up inside. I try to concentrate on breathing normally and not letting him see how he is affecting me, but I'm failing miserably. Even I can hear the shortness in each breath that leaves my lips.

"Do you want another beer?" he says.

My breath falters as I manage to croak out a breathless "yes" while he rises to grab two more beers from the fridge. I pull my legs up underneath my body and try to get more comfortable on the couch.

Ethan returns with a beer for each of us and resumes his position on the sofa, but much closer to me than before. Now that my legs are tucked beneath me, my knees are angled towards him. He sits right next to me and drapes his right arm lazily across my thighs.

Oh.

My.

_God._

I cannot breath!

He looks so calm, so casual, so unaffected compared to me.

_How can he hold it together so easily when I'm about to combust?_

Like before, Ethan starts to absently draw circles with his fingers but this time on my thighs. If that doesn't send tingles to places that I should not be thinking about while sitting next to him, then I don't know what does. I'm trying so hard to maintain my composure, but he is making it so difficult.

I want to scream at him to stop.

I want to scream at him to _never_ stop!

This is Ethan Drake! The subject of every girl's fantasy.

_What does he see in me?_

He could have his pick of any girl in this town.

I don't have model good looks. I don't have millions of dollars, I am just me.

Just plain, ordinary Ava Lucas.

I need to remember this before I mess up and move ahead here. This can't go anywhere, and although I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment, the last thing I need to do is test the dating waters with a Hollywood star.

While I'm trying to rationalise this in my head, Ethan turns his head and stares at me with those beautiful sapphire eyes. His face is lit on one side from the television screen and he looks edible.

Delicious.

My breath stutters as he looks from my eyes to my lips and back to my eyes again. I bite my bottom lip and try to remove my gaze from his. I can't think straight when I'm looking at him.

Before I think of my next step, he leans in towards me.

"I'm going to kiss you," he warns, as if he is giving me a chance to say no.

But then his warm, sinful lips touch mine.

Once our mouths meet - I'm a goner.

I couldn't even try to stop this if I wanted to.

Ethan kisses me slowly and with purpose.

This is different to the kiss we shared at the party. That was more primal and desperate. This is sweet, soft and deep, but the effect is no less profound. My body is still reacting in the same way, desperately wanting his.

He drags me on to his lap and I go willingly. He manoeuvres me so my legs end up either side of his, so I'm straddling him. I curl my arms around his neck and tangle my fingers in to his hair, tugging it slightly as we kiss. Ethan's arms are anchored to my hips, his fingertips biting in to my flesh.

Our tongues flash in to each other's mouths and continue to curl and swipe around each other. Ethan controls the kiss and takes his time. We are eating at each other but taking in every moment of it. He brings his hands up to cup my face, each warm palm resting on my cheeks. He tilts my head slightly and changes the angle of the kiss, so that we can reach every part of the other's mouth.

Heaven!

Pure.

Heaven.

I become bold and drag my hands down his chest. I've wanted to feel his rock hard muscles since I saw him working out today. His chest is hard and firm beneath his clothes. Warm tanned skin, just waiting for my touch. My finger drags down further and I can feel every plane and every ab on his stomach. I can count them all under my fingertips, and he has a bonified six pack.

And _Oh God_ can he kiss.

He could give lessons.

His hands move back to my hips and he moves us sideways on the sofa so I'm beneath him and he is hovering over me, supporting himself on his elbows, keeping his weight off me.

"I'm not going to take this too far," he says, as his eyes search my face, "I just want to touch you everywhere you'll allow."

_Right now, I would let him touch me anywhere he wants._

His hands move beneath my top and tickle across my stomach and over my ribs. I squirm slightly at the touch, not only because it tickles but because it awakens feelings in other areas of my body, that will soon need attention if he continues. His hands move onward and upward until he reaches the lace of my white bra. He drags a hand across my breast and I gasp at the contact. His palm cups my breast while his thumb rubs across my nipple, causing it to harden at his touch.

_I need to stop this; I need to stop this now._ But how do I do that when my body is betraying what my mind is saying? I'm powerless to him.

Powerless to what he is doing to me.

He begins to trail small kisses from the base of my ear and down the right side of my neck, causing my head to drop back in to the sofa and my eyes to close. My arms snake up his back, feeling his muscles rippling beneath my touch. As he continues to kiss along my collar bone, I realise that I've never been kissed like this before. I've never been kissed in such a way that every connection we have causes my entire body to react.

In. The. Most. Delicious. Way.

My hands can't seem to reach him quickly enough. I want to touch him everywhere at once. His back, his abs, his strong muscular arms....

Our kisses grow more urgent, and I can feel Ethan's arousal against my thigh. He is hard and hot, and I want him - badly.

My willpower has left the building and all the reasons that I wasn't going to do this have abandoned me. Right now, I am his, to do with as he pleases.

I trail my fingers down over his chest, his abs, and his tummy towards the waist band of his jeans. I run them across the fabric, dipping them inside where I can feel warm flesh, begging me to touch. Just as I reach to undo his belt buckle, he pulls back abruptly and gazes down at me. Breathing heavily he says, "Ava, we need to stop."

My eyes fly wide at that comment and my mind screams, _"Why the hell would we do that?"_

He begins to sit back and pulls me up with him. He runs his hands through his gorgeous hair and takes a big gulp of air in to his lungs.

I straighten up my top, and swipe my fingers across my lips to catch any lip gloss that may be smeared under my mouth. I don't know what happened, or what I did wrong that caused him to stop, but he looks troubled. There's a heavy silence in the room. Somewhere in the background, Tom Cruise is shirtless and playing volleyball. That's usually my favourite part of the movie, but I think we've both lost all interest in it now.

"Ethan, I'm sorry, that shouldn't have happened. We agreed to being friends right?"

I'm saying these words but I'm not feeling them. Despite my need to stay _just friends_ with him, I regret that we stopped, I didn't want to. For the time that we were kissing on the couch it felt right. Something just felt right.

Ethan swivels on the couch and grabs my shoulders. He lowers his face so that his eyes are gazing straight in to mine. Whatever he is about to say, he wants to make sure that I understand him. That makes me nervous. It can't be good.

"Ava, I stopped just now because I took it too far and I'm sorry. You want to be just friends with me and I didn't respect that tonight. I apologise. I don't want you to think that I came here with one thing in mind. I didn't. I came here to spend time with you and get to know you, and I shouldn't have done that."

I want to tell him that I loved what he did.

I want to tell him that I wanted it as much as he did.

I want him to do it again.

And again...

And again...

He takes another deep breath and moves forward so he is sitting on the edge of the sofa. His elbows are on his knees and his chin is resting on his folded hands.

"Despite all of that, after the kiss we just shared, I think I need to go. If I stay I'm not sure that I can respect your wishes this evening. I'm trying really hard to do that, but at this very moment, I think leaving is the best option for both of us."

_Ask him to stay....ask him to stay!_

He stands and holds out his hand for me. He pulls me up off the sofa but he doesn't make any attempt to pull me close.

I am reeling.

I am reeling from the loss of contact.

I am reeling from the fact that he is doing what I have asked of him and I feel nothing but regret.

I am reeling because I want him to throw me back down on to the sofa and continue where we left off.

I am just... reeling.

My insides are churning.

Ethan turns and grabs his jacket from the back of the chair where he left it. "Thanks for a great evening Ava. I'll see you tomorrow."

My ability to speak has left me as he ducks his head and places a soft dry kiss to my lips. There is more in that one kiss than in any of the previous ones we have shared.

As I watch him leave the apartment, I realise that I have no idea what just happened. Things were progressing well on the couch. He wasn't respecting my wish to stay friends, but _hell_ , I wasn't respecting my wish to stay friends either. I can only come to one conclusion. Things obviously went too far, to a place that he was not comfortable taking them. I'm probably reading too much in to all of this. He probably does this all the time. He does have quite the reputation.

Random hook-ups are his thing.

With a deep cleansing breath I turn off the movie and head to my room. I try to shake my thoughts of Ethan and what just happened. I need to stick to my guns. I need to keep this at a friendship level, it will never work any other way, and I can't stuff up things at work.

A warm shower and bed is what I need.

#

# Cold Showers

#

I really need a cold shower. The coldest fucking shower I can stand!

I don't know what possessed me to just leave her there like that. I was on a roll; things were progressing to a point where I could have had her right then. Something stopped me dead in my tracks. That has never happened to me before. I knew that I didn't want to screw her tonight. It just didn't feel right. But it is more than that. Something inside told me to slow the fuck down, my conscience maybe, I don't know.

_Fuck!_

Since when do I listen to anything but my body when it comes to girls?

I tear off my clothes as I head in to my bathroom, and turn on the water full blast. As I step under the shower head I realise that this girl is under my skin, in a way that no one else has been before. I don't understand how that can happen after such a short period of time. It's not normal.

I either have to respect her wishes and keep my distance, or I need to explore this further and see where I can take it. All I really know is that she is not the type of girl that I can have my way with and leave for dead. Tonight proved that to me. I just don't know which way to move forward from here.

_Jesus, my head is about to implode!_

In truth, maybe the decision is not mine to make. Maybe it's hers and I need to leave the ball in her court. I'm not sure that I'm in the right frame of mind to make any decisions regarding Ava Lucas. She's worked some pretty powerful magic on me and I don't understand what it is. All I know is that I have never been this confused over a girl before.

Ever.

She's had an ideal upbringing - loving family, beautiful home and stability. What can my fucked up existence offer her? I've never known any of that. I don't know the first thing about being in a stable, loving relationship, and it's never been on my radar to consider it before.

I turn the water to the coldest temperature I can stand and try my best to scrub all thoughts of her from my head.

Unsuccessfully.

Grayson wakes me the next morning calling my cell phone. I lean across the mountain of pillows on my bed to take my phone off the bedside charger.

I swipe the screen to take the call.

"Hey Man. Can I come by? I feel like shooting some hoops?" he asks brightly.

I have a full size basketball court on the property. Gray and I often shoot hoops out there and catch up. It's a hell of a workout too.

"Sure. Come by now. I'll get up." I glance at the clock which tells me it is already nine o'clock. I've slept in. Thank god I don't have to be at the Studio until noon today.

I climb out of bed and pull on a pair of black basketball shorts and a grey t-shirt both of which are perfectly pressed, thanks to our Housekeeper. As I'm tying the laces of my gym shoes my mother walks in to my room.

She's dressed impeccably as always in white linen pants, and a white linen shirt. Her black belt and matching heels reek of money. Her long blonde hair is pulled back in to a bun and her make-up, as always, is flawless. She has obviously had the hair and make-up team over this morning. That means she's on her way somewhere. She's not one to miss a photo opportunity if there is one to be had.

"Good Morning Ethan darling," she says as she bends and plants a sticky kiss on each cheek. She wears way too much gloss on her lips, and each kiss feels like her lips are stuck to me with glue.

"Good Morning Mother," I reply. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit this morning?"

There is a sarcastic edge to my voice. I catch it and so does she, but hey, she never comes to my room unless she is after something from me.

"No need to be so icy dear," she says. "I thought maybe we could have lunch together today at the Ivy. My treat of course." She shrugs and smiles showing her perfectly whitened, orthodontically-enhanced teeth.

_Here we go._

The only reason anyone goes to the Ivy for lunch is to be photographed. It's a well- known restaurant frequented by celebrities and swarmed by paparazzi. _Mommy Dearest_ must have an ulterior motive for lunch.

"Can't." I say simply. "I'm due at the Studio at noon today."

"Dinner?" she suggests in her sing-song voice.

I shake my head. "Sorry, plans."

I don't have any plans for dinner, but I'll be damned if I'm going to play in to my mother's hands and be made a pawn in one of her little publicity stunts again. I'm done with that.

My mother looks at me with her head cocked to the side. "Ethan, my publicist thinks it would be good if some photos of the two of us together got out there. We haven't been photographed together for a while and you're on the verge of something big darling." She places her well-manicured hand on to her hip and pops it to the side in her signature pose.

Even though this is what my mother does, and even though it has been like this all my life, it still hurts like hell whenever she does it. She's always treated me as a possession. Something to use to further her career. It makes sense that now that mine is about to take off, she wants a piece of that too. I shake off the feeling that I have in the pit of my stomach and stand to face her.

There's no point in arguing with her or getting upset. I've tried that over the years and it doesn't work. I just treat her with the same indifference that she treats me and I get through it.

"Sorry Mother, no can do. I need to go. Grayson is on his way over and we're going out to shoot some hoops." I turn my back and head towards my bathroom to clean my teeth.

She sighs loudly, and then I hear her heels clicking on the marble floor as she heads back down the hallway.

Is it wrong of me to want a normal mom who asks about my day, and shows interest in what I've been up to? I would love to be able to ask her advice about things and have normal conversations. Instead I'm left with a mother who just wants to use me for her own glory. No wonder my emotions are screwed up.

I head out to the court at the back corner of the garden just as I see Grayson's Mustang pull up in front of the garage. He puts his aviators on and heads toward me, basketball tucked under his arm.

"Morning," he says as he grabs my hand fist to fist, elbows bent down. That's always been our handshake, since we were kids, no need to stop now.

"Hey," I say. "What's new?"

"Lots and Nothing." He says in his signature way.

We both head out to the court and start to bounce the ball around. The sun is shining brightly this morning, and I can already feel a light sheen of sweat layering my skin.

"What's up with you?" Gray says after a few minutes.

I stop dribbling the ball and take a shot. "Nothing, just my mother again."

"What did the witch do now?" he asks, as he catches my ball on the rebound and runs away from me, bouncing it as he goes.

"Nothing new Gray, just wanted to involve me in one of her little publicity stunts today. No biggie."

"Bitch." He says.

Now most guys would probably get upset with anyone referring to their mother in that way. But unfortunately Gray is right on the money. He's seen me go through this with my mom so many times. He knows that it affects me, but he also knows me well enough to let it go. There's no point in hashing it out, nothing ever changes.

"What'd you get up to last night?" he asks by way of changing the subject.

I take a deep breath. I need to talk this out with someone, but I'm not sure that Gray is the right person. Then again, if not him, the only other person I trust enough is Nanny Grace, and I'm sure as hell not talking to her about it.

"I had dinner with Ava, Olivia's Sister."

Gray stops dead on his approach to the hoop and stares at me with a shit-eating grin on his face. "Man, I knew you wanted to tap that. That's why I backed off at Ryan's party. Damn E, I really wanted to go there," he says shaking his head at me. "How'd it go?" he asks.

"It went." I say. "We had a great dinner, started making out, and things were progressing in the right direction and then I froze. It was like my fucking conscience was turned on after all these years and told me to stop. I was so confused that I up and left just when things were getting good." I still can't believe that I did that.

"What the hell?" Grayson says staring right at me. "What happened? _Ethan Drake_ never leaves before the deed is done." I know he's teasing me, but it doesn't help to lighten my mood any.

"I don't know Gray, I honestly don't know. I just knew that it wasn't the right thing to do even though my head was screaming out to keep going. So I stopped. She's under my skin man and I can't get her out."

Grayson smiles at me and shakes his head, tucking his ball back under his arm. "I never thought I'd see the day," he says, "Ethan Drake is whipped!"

"Shut the fuck up, I am not," I respond defensively.

Grayson throws an arm across my shoulders and grins at me. He raises his eye brows and nods his head up and down, "You so are."

I snatch the ball from him before I swing back around and aim for the hoop, sinking the shot.

_Is that what this is? Has she got me whipped?_

I already know the answer to that - Yes! But what to do about it? That's the question I need to ask.

Grayson grabs the ball as it bounces out of the hoop and takes a shot, sinking it again.

"I thought I could screw her out of my system. She's already told me she only wants to be friends, but then one thing led to another and we were well on our way to being way more than friends, and I stopped it. I couldn't go through with it. It felt wrong. Not that I didn't want to screw her - that part felt right, so right. It just felt wrong to do it last night. Like it was too soon, and I was taking advantage, she's not the type I can have a one night thing with." I say, trying to explain this to myself as much as Grayson.

Grayson drops the ball and hangs his arm loosely over my shoulder again. "Man, you are sooo whipped." He laughs and starts to head off the court, taking me with him.

"Come on, I'm buying you breakfast after that admission," he laughs.

As we head towards the house to clean up I can't help but wonder if Gray is right.

Has this girl got me whipped?

Deep down I already know the answer, and it causes my stomach to drop.

#

# Mommie Dearest

#

Liv and I stroll through the aisles of the Supermarket, throwing items in to the trolley as we come across what we need. I am in awe of this grocery store. There are so many brands and so many things available here that we don't have back home. It is both intimidating and exciting at the same time. Who would have thought that there were so many different brands of laundry soap and cereal?

Liv is reading the ingredients on a box of natural muesli. "You know Liv, one day soon; you probably won't be able to do this," I say, as the realisation hits that once the movie is released, grocery shopping will not be as easy for my famous sister.

"I know. On one hand I can't wait and on the other I worry about what the loss of anonymity will do to me. At least I can always go home to Mum and Dad and hide out."

I laugh. "The movie is going to be released in Australia too you know." I point out to her.

"Yeah, but the paparazzi are not as relentless there. I'll be able to go unnoticed more so than here in the States." She places the box of muesli back on to the shelf and continues to push the cart down the aisle.

As we pull up to the check out, I notice a rack of glossy magazines. Ethan's gorgeous face is smiling out at me from the cover of _People_. The slogan reads - _World's Sexiest Men!_ Well I'm not going to argue with that assessment. He really looks amazing.

That hair is just to-die-for.

That smile, those dimples.....

"Checking your boyfriend out on the cover there?" Olivia asks with a sly grin as she catches me checking the magazine out. I start to unload the mountain of groceries that we have piled in to the shopping cart, successfully avoiding her gaze.

"Very funny!" I state. "He is not my boyfriend."

"We'll see," she says with that stupid grin still plastered on her face. "I know I told you to be careful of Ethan when you first arrived, but he seems different with you Ava, very sweet. I haven't seen him like that with anyone else."

I give her a look that says, "Yeah right!"

Olivia places a bottle of shampoo on to the conveyer belt and holds her palms up in the air, "Hey. I'm just saying! Don't kill the messenger." She laughs and turns back to the cart.

As the clerk fills our bags with groceries, I check my watch and slip back in to PA mode. "Liv, we need to be at the Studio at noon. We had better get home and put all this away so we can head over there. I need to put in a few hours with Josh today. You and Ethan are filming on location in Hawaii next week and we need to plan that out."

She jumps up and down and claps her hands together. "I can't wait. I've not been to Hawaii yet."

Neither have I, and I can't wait either.

I find Joshua hard at work at his computer when I enter the office. His dark rimmed glasses are in place and he is concentrating on whatever he is reading on the screen.

"Hey Josh," I say in greeting as I put down my bag and retrieve my ipad and phone. "We need to plan out the Hawaii trip today."

Josh gives me his trademark smile and turns his chair towards me. "Yes. Can't wait for that next week. Have you been before Ava?"

"No first time." I reply, as I boot up my computer and plug my ipad in to the charger on the wall.

"You'll love it," he says. "Very romantic location, and from the look of you and Ethan at Ryan's party, Hawaii may be coming up at the right time." He chuckles and spins his seat back to face his computer screen.

I blush and duck my head.

"Sorry Ava, I didn't mean to embarrass you." Joshua looks remorseful.

I shake my head. "No, you didn't. Just not sure that is going to go anywhere, so the romantic locations in Hawaii are not something I consider when thinking of Ethan."

_Bullshit! My mind screams at me._

Joshua lets the subject go and gets down to business. "Whenever we travel to Hawaii we always stay right on the beach. The hotel has a man-made lagoon and heaps of gorgeous pools to lounge around. It's within walking distance to the main area of Waikiki too. We'll have a little bit of free time while we're there, but not much. They'll have us running around a lot. Whenever we shoot on location the timeframes are tight."

"It sounds amazing Josh. I can't wait to not only get to Waikiki but also to be part of that process. Not everyone gets to watch a feature film in production."

We spend the afternoon booking flights and accommodation, arranging schedules and ensuring that the hotel has all the details required for our stay. Ethan and Olivia are pretty tame compared to most celebrities, but they both have a small list of requirements that we need to ensure is ready for them. Mainly simple things like a certain brand of water for Olivia, and a certain type of shampoo for Ethan.

_Maybe that's why he has such great hair!_

Joshua tells me how Madeline Rose likes a certain type of feather in her pillows, and how she won't sleep on linen that is less than a certain thread count. Why doesn't that surprise me about her!

As we're entering all the details in to our on-line calendars there is a commotion outside the office door. I hear a high pitched voice, and then another greeting the first. Joshua and I give each other a look and rise from our chairs, making our way to the hallway. Just outside her Dressing Room door we spy Madeline excitedly embracing another woman. Behind her is a man with a large camera, the type that you use for portraits, a really high-tech one, with a long lens.

After air kissing one another, Madeline says, "Hello Ms Drake, how nice to see you again."

_My god_ , this must be Ethan's Mother, Elizabeth Drake. I can't wait to see what she looks like in the flesh. From the back she is dressed expensively, and her outfit is complimented by the stunning accessories she is wearing.

Elizabeth Drake turns so I can glimpse her profile. She is flawless, just gorgeous.

_Just like her son._

"Hello Madeline dear. How lovely to see you again after all this time. I'm so pleased that you are working with Ethan." Her voice is smooth and cultured, and her sentences are measured.

As if on cue, Ethan rounds the corner and stops dead in his tracks when he spies Madeline and his mother together. He narrows his gaze, pulls himself to his full height and moves forward. "Mother, what are you doing here? I told you I was working today." His voice is low and there is a high level of annoyance there.

Elizabeth turns to Ethan, with a beaming smile on her face. She hooks her arm through his and holds on tight. "I know darling, but I had already arranged the photographer, and I thought that perhaps we could have some photos taken of me visiting you on set, I am after all, so very proud of you." She kisses him on each cheek as a greeting.

Ethan looks pissed. In fact, he looks really pissed, but I have to give him credit, he fixes his face in to a blank stare to disguise his scowl.

Elizabeth turns towards Joshua and I. Josh has obviously met her before because I see the recognition in her eyes when she sees him. She holds out her hand towards him and says, "Hello Joshua. Would you mind grabbing me a glass of water dear? Perrier, no ice."

Josh shakes her hand, "Of course Ms Drake." Before I can turn my head, he heads off towards the café in search of her requested beverage.

Elizabeth Drake turns her head towards me and looks down at me over her nose. She subtly eyes me up and down and then fixes a smile to her face while she extends her hand. "Hello, I'm Elizabeth Drake." Her hand is covered in large jewelled rings.

"Nice to meet you." I say, totally intimidated by her, especially with both Madeline and Ethan looking on. I gather myself and realise that she has no idea who I am. "I'm Ava Lucas, Olivia's Personal Assistant." We shake hands, and she dismisses me immediately, turning back towards Madeline. Obviously I'm of no use to her.

"Madeline darling, it was lovely to see you again, please say hello to your father for me. Ethan dear, let's go and decide where to take these shots." She starts to walk down the corridor and gestures towards Ethan with her fingers to follow her.

Ethan gives me a tight smile and follows behind her. As they round the corner I can hear him raising his voice at her but I can't catch what he says. He's definitely pissed.

Joshua comes barrelling down the hallway with the Perrier in his hand and looks left and right trying to see where they have gone. I point to the right and say, "that way." He nods and follows to try and catch up with them.

I head back to my computer to try and pick up where I left off. This really is a different world that they inhabit. Elizabeth Drake is obviously very used to having people at her beck and call. She didn't think twice about asking Josh to fetch her drink. She greeted Madeline like royalty because they live in the same universe, yet she looked down her nose at me like I wasn't worth her time.

In that one gesture she demonstrated the attitude that I have seen many times since starting here with Liv. Madeline was the first to show it to me. If you aren't someone that can make a difference to them, then they don't give you the time of day. Clearly Elizabeth Drake and Madeline are cut from the same cloth.

The concept is a strange one for me.

I've always belonged in the world I inhabit. Back home I lived a middle class lifestyle. I went to an expensive private school and University, but none of that changed the way I behaved or lived, because I knew that my parents had worked their butts off to afford those schools. I socialised with people of similar background and status. There was never any _us and them_ mentality. We all just fit.

To be looked upon by Elizabeth Drake as a lesser being is quite a new concept for me, and one that I don't appreciate.

Ethan didn't seem at all happy to have his mother here and even less happy about having to take photos with her. I wonder what that was all about anyway! I've not had a chance to even speak with Ethan today after what happened last night. After all that, it's probably a good thing. I have just been well and truly reminded of where I sit in the social scheme of things by his mother.

I shake my head and try to clear my thoughts so I can get back to the task at hand. I need to complete all this scheduling today so that I can pass Olivia's diary details on to the Producers. I remind myself that I'm here to do a job. I'm Olivia's PA and that is my purpose for being at the Studio and in the States.

As long as I don't forget that, I will be fine.

#

I'm so pissed at my Mother for showing up like she did. How dare she do that to me at work? As always, she thinks she can swan in and order everyone around. She held up production by thirty minutes thanks to her little photo fest. Of course, everyone on set was so excited to meet _the_ Elizabeth Drake that they were all quite happy to put everything on hold for her.

She had the photographer taking photo after photo of her and me, Madeline and Olivia. She signed autographs and played the role of Hollywood star to perfection. Of course, that is what she's been doing for years so it comes as second nature to her. Now we wait for the photos to hit the magazine racks next week, and the accompanying story will be all about what a wonderful mother she is and how supportive she is being of me in my first big role.

_What a load of shit!_

I'm heading in the only direction that I can think to go right now, to see Nanny Grace.

Whenever my mother has pissed me off over the years, Nanny has always calmed me down. I need to grab my phone and keys from my dressing room and head to the nursing home. She'll be able to talk me around.

I notice that Ava is standing in the entrance to Olivia's dressing room next door to mine. She's on the phone and smiling at whatever is being said to her on the other end. She turns as she sees me and looks up. Her smile fades slightly but she holds my eyes. I give her a small smile back and head in to grab my keys and phone. As I exit the room she is walking towards me, placing her phone back in to her pocket.

"Ethan, what is it?" she asks me.

I don't know whether she is referring to what happened last night or whether she can read me well enough to see that I'm pissed about what happened with my mother. Either way, it's been a long time since anyone has noticed me enough to see that my emotions are swirling like a fucking tornado. The fact that she gives a shit means more than she could know.

"Something's bothering you. I can see it on your face. Can I help?"

She has a genuine look of concern on her face. Her eyebrows are pulled together and she has that little crease on her forehead again - that is totally kissable.

Why would she care if something's wrong with me?

As far as she knows I'm just some guy that has made out with her a couple of times, and ran out on her with no worthy explanation last night. I'm not worth her worry or concern yet here she is trying to help. The expression on her face causes my stomach to churn and my heart to race.

_Who is this girl? What is she doing to me?_

I school my face in to a tight smile and take a deep breath. "I'm fine Ava, just a rough day. I'm on my way out. I have a date with Nanny Grace."

She smiles shyly and turns to leave. Before she steps off she looks back at me over her shoulder. "If you need anything, just ask Ethan, I'm happy to help. After last night I'm glad we can be friends. Friends help each other out - right?" She shrugs her shoulder and starts to head back towards Olivia's room.

"Wait!" I call out without thinking. Just being with her has calmed my raging blood in a few short minutes. Usually Nanny is the only one that can affect me like that.

Ava stops and turns back to me, smiling that beautiful smile of hers and folding her arms across her chest while she leans against the door jamb.

"Do you want to come with me?"

_Why would I ask her that?_

I need to talk to Nanny about my mother and I don't want to do that in front of Ava. I wanted to see Nanny to calm myself down, but I think Ava has already had that effect on me. It's like she's my own brand of valium.

I've wanted Ava to see me with Nanny to see that I can be a nice, normal human being. But this is more than that. I want Ava to meet Nanny and I want Nanny to meet Ava. The importance of that is not lost on me, and it kind of freaks me out.

I didn't like the way my mother interacted with Ava earlier. It was like Ava was dirt beneath her shoe. She couldn't have looked at her with more contempt if she'd tried. I hate the fact that my mother did that to her because Ava is ten times more special a person than my mother will ever be. My mother has no right to speak to Ava, let alone look at her the way that she did.

"You want me to come and meet Nanny Grace with you?" she asks narrowing her eyes in confusion.

"Yes."

I say that with absolute conviction, because I do. I want these two women to meet because Nanny is the most special person in my life and Ava is.... _I don't know_.

She's different.

I don't know how or why, but she is.

I want her to come with me. I want her to meet Nanny and see that not everyone in my life is like my mother. I need her to see that some part of me is normal. My relationship with Nanny is that part.

"Okay," she says.

"Okay?" I ask.

"Yep," she nods. "Olivia and I were about to head home anyway. I'll just let her know and grab my things."

She disappears in to Olivia's dressing room to get what she needs and I wait in the hallway thinking about what I have just done.

_Why can't I leave her alone?_

Ava follows behind me in to the nursing home. She's been really quiet on the trip over here, and come to think of it - so have I. I think we both want to address what happened last night but neither of us is sure how to go there and what to say. As I approach the Reception desk, the lady behind it looks up and smiles at me. She's on the phone and holds up a finger to indicate that she'll just be a minute. I smile down at Ava while we wait.

She wraps up her call and replaces the handset into its holder. "Hi Ethan. Welcome back. Grace will be pleased to see you." All the staff here know who I am. I think I'm one of Nanny's few regular visitors. "Please sign in here," she says as she pushes a large log book towards me.

I sign in for myself and Ava and hand the pen back to the Receptionist. I think her name is Mary, but there are so many different people working here, I'm too scared to call her that in case I'm wrong.

She smiles warmly at both Ava and I. "Grace is in her room right now. She's just finished a round of lawn bowls. Enjoy your visit."

I smile and thank her, and turn to head towards Nanny's room. I put my hand out to Ava and she takes it. I don't know why I did that but it just felt right. Now that she's holding my hand on the way down the hallway, a strange calm has washed over me. I can't describe it, but it's like everything in this very moment is exactly as it is supposed to be.

_Friends can hold hands right?_

We arrive at the doorway to Nanny's room and she is sitting in her large lounge chair, knitting and listening to classical music. I've never liked classical music. Nanny tried to get me to at least appreciate it, but it has never been my thing. She looks up, and a smile lights up her features as we enter.

Nanny is tiny. She's been a good foot shorter than me since I turned fourteen. She is round but not big, just right. She always says she is padded in all the right areas, and I guess that's probably true.

She wears her grey hair pulled back in to a tight bun. I don't think I can even recall a time when I haven't seen it like that. She has always dressed impeccably and today is no different. She has tailored navy pants on, with a pale blue cashmere twin set, and her signature pearls. They were given to her by _the love of her life_ \- her words, not mine. They are a permanent fixture on her, along with a diamond bracelet that I bought her from Tiffany for her sixtieth birthday. That never leaves her wrist. She always has her pale pink lipstick in place and her cheeks are perfectly bronzed. She takes pride in how she looks. Always has.

"Hey Nanny. How are you? This is my friend Ava."

Ava smiles at me with that introduction. No doubt she heard my subtle emphasis on the word _friend_. I gesture towards Ava and say, "Ava, this is Nanny Grace."

Ava moves further in to the room and heads for Nanny. "Hi Nanny Grace, it's great to meet you." She leans forward and shakes Nanny's hand. What she doesn't realise is that Nanny won't have a bar of that. She quickly pulls Ava in for a hug, in true Nanny Grace-style.

Nanny gives Ava a squeeze and pulls back to take her in. She leaves her hands on Ava's upper arms as she appraises her. "Lovely to meet you Ava, and thanks for bringing this one to see me," she says gesturing in my direction. "Come and give me a hug Ethan."

Nanny releases Ava and pulls me in.

I lean down and give Nanny a big hug. When I pull back, she releases me and holds up the blue wool that she has been using for her knitting. "Glad you came down Ethan, I need to fit this to you."

Nanny has been knitting me jumpers, scarves, and hats since I was a baby. Every year she knits me something new. This is obviously her latest project. I never really wear any of them, although I have worn a scarf or two when skiing before. I don't tell her that though, because making them for me gives her so much pleasure. They just don't look great on me. I'm more of a sweatshirt kind of guy.

Ava and I sit side-by-side on the sofa that sits next to Nanny's arm chair.

"Turn that music down for me a bit, will you Ethan?" I rise and lower the volume of her music.

Nanny looks back and forth between me and Ava as if she is trying to read in to what is going on. I can see the wheels turning. Before she can reach any conclusions I speak up.

"Nanny, Ava has only been here a short time from Australia. She is Olivia Lucas' sister and is here working as Olivia's assistant."

Nanny narrows her eyes and smiles. She's always been able to read between the lines when it comes to me. Once when I was in Junior High I had a crush on a girl in my class - Ruby Jones. Nanny knew I was crushing on her before I had it worked out. I couldn't understand why my palms got clammy and my heart raced every time Ruby came near me. She used to look at Ruby and I in the same way that she's looking between Ava and I now. It's making me nervous.

Ava speaks up first. "This is a lovely room you have Nanny Grace, the views over the garden are beautiful." Ava rises out of the chair and moves to stare out the window to the courtyard. Residents of the nursing home are sitting out there arranging floral bouquets. Obviously one of the many group activities that they can participate in here. The sunlight is pouring through the glass, playing against the auburn highlights in Ava's hair. She is beautiful.

"It is Ava. I love the view from the window. The garden is special and I've personally planted most of the herb section. The chefs in the kitchen use my herbs to prepare our meals, so it gives me much joy."

Ava moves back to the sofa beside me.

"Ethan dear, would you mind going back to the kitchenette down the hall and grabbing some tea for us all?" Nanny gives me a wink. I think that's my cue to leave the girls alone.

Nanny has always made a mean cup of tea. I don't like coffee at all because I was raised on her tea concoctions. She used to mix all types of herbs and spices together with black tea, green tea, herbal teas.... I guess tea has always been our thing.

"Tea for you Ava?" I ask. I'm sure she's probably a coffee girl.

"I'll have a green tea if you have it," she says.

"Make green tea for all of us Ethan," Nanny says. "Add some jasmine to it dear."

I make my way towards the kitchenette and leave the two women to get acquainted. I can hear them both chatting away from where I am. Ava seems very comfortable in these surroundings. Not everyone likes coming here. God knows, the one time I brought Grayson in, he was terrified. I couldn't understand how he could be so scared of old people, but he is. I can hear Nanny talking about her garden, her knitting and her love of music.

As I'm pouring the tea I hear Ava giggling. I don't know what Nanny has said, but I love the sound of her laughter. It's hypnotising. I want to hear it all the time. I round the corner with the tea and find Nanny showing Ava photos of when I was young.

_Great!_

Nanny is pointing at one of the many shots she has of me post-bath, when I was a toddler. Apparently I used to run around naked a lot.

_It seems not much has changed!_

Ava sits patiently as Nanny parades what feels likes thousands of photos of me, my mother and all the grandeur of our lifestyle as I was growing up.

_So much for trying to show Ava that I'm a normal person and not some stuck up Hollywood brat._

Ava listens to every word that Nanny says and shows interest in every picture she sees. The photo presentation goes on forever. The more time they spend together, the more I sense Nanny relaxing. She's like a lioness protecting her cub when it comes to me. She's always very wary of people trying to take advantage of who I am and what I have.

I can sense that she's warming to Ava. That makes me feel good. It means that my radar is on the money - Ava is one of the good ones.

"Ethan dear, would you mind taking my menu order back to the front desk for me? I was supposed to do that by now and I forgot. I don't want them feeding me anything that I haven't selected," she says with a grimace.

I'm not sure if she's trying to get rid of me again or if she genuinely needs me to do this for her.

At any rate, I don't argue.

Nanny is the warmest person I know, but when she gives you 'the look', you don't dare argue with her. That 'look' would stop me in my tracks when I was younger.

I take the menu from her and head out the door, leaving them alone.

Again.

#

# The World according to Nanny Grace

#

Nanny Grace is so sweet. She is also very funny.

The comments she has been making under her breath as we look at the photos of Ethan are hilarious. He hasn't heard any of them - _thank god!_ She has some spit and fire about her and I like it. She really seems to love Ethan too. I imagine that she is probably like a grandmother to him and very protective.

She turns towards me. "Now that he has left us alone let's do girl talk," she says.

I love her! She is so cheeky and playful, young beyond her years.

I smile.

"My Ethan has never brought a girl to visit me before, so I know there must be something special about you Ava. It's not every day that he lets people in to his world. How long have you known each other?"

I sense the third degree coming, so I'm careful about what I tell her.

"I've only been here a few days Nanny Grace, but we have seen each other a few times. We're usually at the Studio together, so it's hard not to run in to one another."

She shakes her head and gives me a smile. "No. It's more than that. I sense it. I may be old but I am far from stupid."

_Well then! I've been told!_

She clears her throat and slowly moves out of her lounge chair towards the window. Peering through the glass at the garden she says, "Ava, that boy is everything to me. I love him as if he is my own. I sense that there is something here with you both. Whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. I've been around a long time. One thing I know for sure..." She turns from the window and fixes me with her gaze.

"....every so often someone special comes in to your life and it's so monumental that it marks time. It's like a date is forever imprinted on your heart. After that, everything before pales in comparison and you wonder what you did without them. That Ava - is love."

She sits down next to me on the sofa and reaches for my hand. "I don't want to scare you off dear; I just want you to open yourself up to whatever is possible in life."

This woman is like some sort of psychic-mind-reader, a real voodoo-mamma.

_How can she tell in such a short time that I've closed myself off to any possibility of a relationship, with Ethan or anyone else?_

_How can she sense that there's something between Ethan and I, when neither of us is sure that there is?_

I'm staring in to her eyes, trying to understand where this wisdom has come from as Ethan returns to the room.

He takes in the sight of us both on the sofa, holding hands and sitting close. He smiles at Nanny and then at me, and I can see his mind churning, wondering what on earth we have been discussing.

I want to share the wonderful piece of wisdom that Nanny has just given me, but I think at this stage I will keep it to myself. She didn't want Ethan to hear it, that's why she sent him out of the room, so it shall remain 'girl talk' - for now.

Besides, I'm not about to tell him that she sees something between us and that she wants me to open myself up to him. That would be way too presumptuous of me.

I like Nanny Grace, I like her a lot. She has a feisty spirit and determination. She may be old but she's certainly not out. I hope I'm like her when I get to be her age.

She turns to Ethan and says. "Head off now you two and leave an old lady in peace. I want to nap before dinner."

She raises my hand to her mouth and kisses it gently. She winks at me before letting it go. Ethan bends down to give her a hug, and she whispers something in his ear that causes him to look at me and smile.

"Ready?" he says to me as he stands back up.

I rise off the sofa and we bid Nanny farewell.

As we turn back to the hallway Ethan holds his hand out to me again. I take it because it felt so right holding his hand on the way in here. I'm not sure that friends hold hands like this, but I just let myself go with it. Nanny Grace's words are after all, still ringing in my ears.

We return to the car and buckle in. "What did you think of Nanny?" Ethan asks me. I can tell he's dying to know my opinion.

I can't help the huge smile that lights up my face. "I loved her Ethan, she's amazing. Such a smart and funny lady. She loves you." I say, stating the obvious.

He nods. "She does. My mother and I are her family. We've always been her world. She even loves my mother despite the fact that Mother doesn't return the sentiment."

I turn the conversation back to lighter subjects. "You know, I never pictured you as the type that would visit a nursing home and spend time drinking tea with your Nanny." I tease.

He blushes and I think I've embarrassed him. Wow, I didn't know that was possible.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable; I just think it's nice. It shows me that there are many sides to you."

He nods with a smile and pulls the car out in to the traffic, looking smug. I think he liked the fact that I saw another side to him with Nanny.

I liked it too.

It made him seem more human, if that's possible, more accessible, and more normal. He wasn't Ethan Drake, _Hollywood star,_ when he was with her at all.

He was just Ethan.

The boy that she has seen grow up and the boy that she loves and protects. It feels nice to know that he has her. She's so unlike his mother.

Chalk and cheese.

Ethan fiddles with the radio and Katy Perry's _Teenage Dream_ fills the car. Ethan smiles and says, "Normally I would change this, but I know it's probably one of your favourites, so I'll make an exception just this once."

My tummy is doing flip flops. I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. He remembered.

"Well I appreciate that," I say. "Everyone needs a bit of Katy Perry in their life." He laughs and turns the song up. The sound rumbles through the car, sending sparks through my senses.

I think his laugh is now top of the list of my favourite things about him.

It's a long list.

Growing every day....

I settle back in to the luxurious leather seats of his car and turn my head towards him. His face is deep in concentration as he tackles the LA traffic. He's driving fast, but not recklessly, and he handles the car with ease and grace. His eyes dart from the windscreen to the rear view mirror, as he confidently navigates our way along one of the many windy freeways this city has to offer.

"Thanks for taking me to meet Nanny Grace."

I want Ethan to know that I appreciate that he's shared something special with me. I feel honoured that he introduced us, and I feel privileged to have seen him with her; to have seen him relaxed and away from the Studio and the persona that comes with being Ethan Drake - Actor.

It made me feel special.

"You're welcome Ava. I'm pleased that you met her." He seems genuine in his response and that makes me smile.

I want to bring up what happened last night but I don't want to complicate what has been a really nice afternoon. I don't know what is going on here and I don't want to think about it. Maybe Nanny Grace is right. Perhaps I do need to open myself up to people more. Just because Cole treated me like dirt after two years, doesn't mean that someone else will. My issue is that I can't reconcile myself being with someone like Ethan. We inhabit different worlds.

Hell, we inhabit different _universes!_

If I break it all down and look at it simply, he is a guy and I am a girl and there is a definite attraction. If life were that basic, then nothing would stop me from pursuing this. Unfortunately my brain then kicks in with all the differences between us.

I live in Australia, he lives here.

He is famous, I'm not.

He is stunningly gorgeous, I'm not.

His career is about to take off to a point that he can have anything and anyone he wants.

_How do I compete with that?_

I sigh without realising how loud I am.

"What's up?" he asks, turning his head slightly towards me without taking his eyes off the road for too long. "That was one hell of a sigh."

The last thing I'm going to do is talk to him about this now. "Nothing," I say, "....just a little tired."

He scrunches his brow like he knows I'm hiding something from him but he turns back to the road ahead without saying anything more about it.

He's resisting bringing up last night too.

After the majority of the drive is made in semi-comfortable silence, Ethan pulls up outside Olivia's apartment. Well, my apartment now too. I'm still getting used to that.

Butterflies begin to swarm in my stomach. What do I say to him? Do I just open the door and leave? Do I invite him up?

"Thanks for bringing me back Ethan. I appreciate it."

I reach for the door handle just as his strong hand encircles my wrist. I turn my head back towards him. He's looking at me through those blue eyes of his, and smiling the most dazzling smile I've ever seen.

Dimples taking centre stage.

"You're most welcome Ava."

His thumb is tracing up and down the veins on my wrist as he talks. It's incredibly distracting. Tingles are firing through my veins with each stroke.

He lets my wrist go, and although I can breathe again, my body wilts with the loss of contact.

This is so confusing.

"I have a charity event tomorrow. Is Olivia doing it too?"

"No, she has a full day of scenes and rehearsal tomorrow. We'll be at the Studio most of the day."

He screws up his perfect nose and he looks adorable. "Damn, I thought I'd get to see you girls tomorrow. No such luck." He says with a shrug.

_He wants to see me tomorrow?_

Before I can stop my mouth from going any further I say, "Are you free tomorrow night? Perhaps you could show me some of the sights by night? I'm so excited about seeing LA and I haven't had much of a chance to get out and explore yet."

_Jesus - that was so forward of me!_

He smiles. "I'd love that. I'll pick you up at 7pm. Dress warmly; I'm going to take you to all my favourite places."

He lifts my right hand and softly kisses the back of it with his plush lips.

A small hum sounds from my throat but thankfully I don't think Ethan heard it.

"See you tomorrow night."

"Okay. See you then."

I escape the car before the blush rises from my neck and up my face.

I'm not sure what I was thinking. My stomach is full of flutters at the thought of spending more time with him one-on-one.

Who am I kidding?

I don't think I ever had a chance to resist him.

Ethan waits until I'm at the entrance to the apartment, and safely inside, before pulling away from the curb. Such a gentleman! He waves and smiles before he accelerates off.

I wave back and turn towards the elevators wondering how I'm going to stop this rollercoaster that I've set in motion.

#

The Studio has sent a car to take me to this charity event today. I don't mind participating in these causes.

Today's event is to raise money for Breast Cancer. Nanny went through Breast Cancer some years ago, so I have a personal connection to this. It's a worthy cause and one that we should all get behind.

Today I'm dressed in faded denim and a pale pink t-shirt that bears the charity logo for the day. I'm supposed to be hosting an auction and then staying for a meet and greet afterwards. All up I will probably only be here for a few hours.

I'm really looking forward to taking Ava out tonight and showing her the sights of my town. I can only imagine how exciting it must be to move somewhere new and experience a different lifestyle.

As the car pulls up to the venue, I notice Madeline getting out of the car in front. She's also wearing the charity's t-shirt, but she has accessorised hers with tight fitting leggings and high heeled black boots.

She looks amazing as always. Every bit the movie star that she is.

"Good Afternoon Madeline," I call.

She turns with a smile.

"Ethan Hey. I didn't know you were coming to this event today."

"Ditto," I say as I walk towards her.

"I'm one of the patrons for this charity so I always attend these," she says with a shrug like it's no big deal.

Wow, I never picked Madeline to have a good soul there but perhaps I was wrong about her.

"This is a great way to get publicity too," she adds.

_There's that Madeline attitude!_

Deciding to ignore her last comment, I offer her my arm and we both enter the venue. We're ushered upstairs to a large ballroom that is full of people. There appears to be some sort of auction already taking place, and people are yelling bids throughout the room.

At the entrance to the room, there is a large sign stating the purpose of today's event. Madeline and I are asked to stand in front of it so the photographer can take a few shots. Madeline, being Madeline, decides to alter her poses throughout the mini photo shoot and takes some standing with her arm around my waist, some with her hand placed on my chest and some with her body turned towards me and her leg bent up behind her.

She's such a freakin' poser. I stand there throughout, letting her do whatever she wants and just making sure that I continue to smile at the photographer. No doubt these shots will be on the internet in minutes.

The MC of the event explains to us what we need to do and for the next couple of hours we are ushered around to meet many people. My hand is cramping from signing autographs, but it's for a good cause so I don't want to stop. Madeline is across the other side of the room, taking photos and being gracious towards everyone. I can't believe that she can turn the charm on and off like that. I guess it shows what a great actress she really is.

Madeline and I end up spending longer than was scheduled at the event, but when it's for charity you don't want to run out the door. The Studio has sent two cars back to collect us, so we say our goodbyes and go our separate ways.

I still have a few hours before I'm due to collect Ava so I decide to call Grayson and see what he's doing. He picks up after the first ring. "Hey man, where are you?"

"Hey E, I'm at the bar up from my place. Just having a drink and shooting some pool with the boys. Come down?"

"Okay, maybe I will. I'll see you there in 10."

I end the call and instruct my driver to take me to Grayson. I settle back in the seat to think about where to take Ava tonight.

I'm not sure where to go first. I think we may head in to the Chinese Theatre and have a look at that. She'll need to do that by day as well so she can fully appreciate all the hand and foot prints, but it is also great at night with all the lights on. Maybe I'll also take her on a drive round Beverly Hills. There's a great little Italian restaurant just off Rodeo Drive where we could do a quick dinner. Everyone likes to see Rodeo Drive, I mean all girls have seen _Pretty Woman_ right? Maybe I could make some of her _Richard Gere_ fantasies come true.

Ava is so different to any of the plastic girls that I've dated of late. There's not an ounce of silicon on her - as far as I can tell - and she is naturally gorgeous.

Her silky hair and full, plump lips are my downfall. _Hell_ , I'm not in the market for a relationship yet she has me thinking of possibilities that I have never entertained before. My concern is that my world would overwhelm her. It's not easy to be a part of it when you're unfamiliar with it. It's pretty cut-throat and you need to have a thick skin. I've grown up with that, but I can tell that she hasn't.

Either way, I can't seem to stop wanting to spend time with her. The fact that she initiated tonight's contact makes me hope that she feels the same way. Perhaps I need to relax and see where it goes. Let things happen naturally and follow her lead.

The driver pulls up outside of the bar where Grayson is. I tip him and exit out in to the glorious sunshine.

A few paparazzi are crowded outside the bar and have been snapping shots of someone inside. As soon as they see me, the cameras are turned on to me and I'm momentarily startled by the constant clicks of the shutters. I hate that sound. It's almost as bad as the flashes going off in your face. They blind me for hours every time.

A few of the photographers yell out to me but I've become really good at blocking them out. They can say some pretty fucked up things to you in order to get a reaction, so I have learnt to ignore them over the years.

When I was 18, one of them made a comment about a girl I was seen dating at the time. It was pretty derogatory, so I clocked him. He tried to sue me, but we settled it all privately. I had to buy the fucker a new camera though. Ever since then, I ignore them all.

I spot Grayson at the back of the bar by the pool tables. It's such a great day that they have all the windows open, allowing a warm sultry breeze to fly through the space. Grayson gestures to me that he already has a drink ready for me, so I head straight to him.

"Hey E," he says as he hands me a bottle of beer.

"Hey Gray. Hey Guys," I say to Grayson's band mates, Will, Matt and Cooper.

They all nod and wave in my direction. The boys seem to be involved in a heated debate about their last game of pool, so I can only imagine that one of them has cheated in some way.

"Where have you been?" Grayson asks as he takes in my pink t-shirt with a smirk.

"At a charity event for Breast Cancer."

"Oh, cool man," he says. "So what's news? How's that little hottie of yours going?"

"It's going," I say. "I took her to meet Nanny yesterday, and I'm taking her out to see LA tonight."

"Whoa man. This is so out of character for you, you must really like her. I'm happy for you." Grayson claps me on the back as he looks to see the boys racking up for the next game.

"Is her sister still with Ryan?" Grayson asks.

I just roll my eyes at him. He so needs to get over that already. He seriously can't help himself.

"Are we playing or what?" I ask him.

"Sure, let's rack them up."

Grayson turns to the table next to the boys and racks the balls while I choose a pool cue. I chalk it and wait to see if he's going to break or wants me to.

"All yours," he says, standing back and choosing a pool cue for himself.

I lean over the table, aim, and break.

As we progress through our game, we are surrounded by a few girls at tables close to us. They are giggling and staring as we move and stretch across the tables trying to finish the game. Grayson and the guys notice them too. By the time Gray and I are almost done with our game, the other guys are already talking to the girls, who are flirting madly.

After pocketing the final ball, I win the game, and Gray and I clap shoulders before making our way over to the table to join the others. Another round of beer arrives and we get in to it. Before I can count, we've had numerous beers and a couple of shots and I'm seriously buzzed. One of the girls, a really well-endowed brunette, has her hands all over me. I continue to swat her off in my drunken state, but that doesn't seem to deter her in the slightest.

"I know who you are," she says leaning in to my ear. Her breath smells of sweet cocktails and it's making my head swim.

"Good for you," I say. I'm way too wasted for small talk.

She starts to nibble on my ear lobe and I swat her back again. She's like a damn fly buzzing around my head.

Seriously annoying and difficult to get rid of.

"Come on Ethan," she says with a whine. "Let me show you a good time." She runs her tongue around the shell of my ear before biting down on my ear lobe for the second time.

"Not interested," I say.

Even in the state I'm in, I still know not to go there. Ava floods my mind.

I check my watch. "Fuck!" I say loudly. "I was supposed to pick Ava up fifty minutes ago. Shit!"

Gray turns to me, swaying as he does. "Don't stress man. Just call her and then jump in a cab,"

We haven't exchanged numbers yet, how fucking stupid of us!

I have no way of contacting her to let her know that I'm running late and to top it off, I'm seriously drunk and incapable of driving her anywhere.

_Great fucking way to make a good impression Ethan!_

I decide to call Olivia and see if they're together. I pull up Olivia's contact details on my phone and press the call button. She answers on the third ring.

"Ethan, hi."

"Olivia are you with Ava?"

"No I'm at Ryan's. Why? I left Ava at the apartment and she was waiting for you. Has something happened?" She asks in a panicked voice.

"No, no..." I say. "I'm just running late to pick her up and I don't have her cell phone number."

"Ethan, are you okay? You sound kind of weird," Olivia says.

"I've just had a few drinks and lost track of time. I need to call her, can you text me her contact details?"

"Sure, I'll do that now."

"Thanks, bye Liv."

My inbox buzzes a moment later with Ava's contact details, so I immediately type out a text.

**So sorry. Running late. Will be there ASAP. Ethan.**

I hail a cab and do my best to try and sober up on the short drive from the bar to her apartment. Just as I pull up she answers my text.

**Don't worry. I'm pretty beat. Let's leave tonite. Raincheck for tomorrow? A**

_Shit!_

Maybe I've pissed her off and she doesn't want to catch up tonight.

What a fuck up.

I need to retrieve this situation before I seriously stuff it up. I pay the cab driver and rush to the door of her apartment, ringing the entry buzzer.

Ava's voice comes through the intercom. "Who is it?" she says in that gorgeous accent of hers.

"It's me, Ava I'm so sorry. Please let me up."

She buzzes the door and it swings open, allowing me access. I jump in the elevator and hope that she isn't too pissed at me by the time I get to her floor.

All the while I keep wondering why I give a shit.

I never have before.

Why am I making such a fuss?

Why does this matter so much to me?

#

# Adorably Drunk

#

I'm really pissed at Ethan. I hate being stood up, and for an hour there I thought he had done just that. I admit that I was relieved to get his text message. I haven't given him my number so I can only assume that Josh or Olivia did that. I texted back to tell him not to come but I'm kind of glad that he ignored that. I didn't want to spend tonight wondering what or _who_ had happened.

I've buzzed him up to the apartment, but I'm not sure if I want to do anything with him tonight now. I guess I'll wait and see what he has to say for himself. I want to shake the pissed feeling that I have, but I can't.

I stupidly decided to _Google_ him a couple of hours ago just to see what would come up. I was assaulted with myriads of photos, showing him and Madeline Rose together at the Charity event he attended earlier today. She was all over him like a rash in some of the shots. Her body pressed against his, whispering in his ear. There were also photos of him at some bar with a brunette leaning all over him, her plastic breasts pushed against his chest. He had a stupid grin on his face and the whole scene made me feel sick.

I've no right to feel this way. I mean we're not together and we haven't declared exclusivity or anything, but still it's not something I wanted to see. Especially now when I know he's on his way up here. I'm not in to sharing and I must admit that the rush of jealousy that I felt surprised me.

I hear the elevator chime through from the corridor, so I know he is almost at the door. I check my hair and lipstick in the hallway mirror to make sure I look presentable and wait for him to knock.

_Deep breath Ava, here we go._

There is a hesitant knock on the door. As I open it, the first thing I see is the same stupid grin that Ethan had in the photo on-line plastered all over his gorgeous face.

Now though, he just looks yummy.

I push that thought aside as best I can. He looks me up and down and leans on to the door jamb to steady himself, resting his arm up the frame above his head, and elongating that body of his. He crosses one ankle over the other and looks so much like the movie star that he is, that my tummy flutters.

With bats, not butterflies.

The next thing I notice is the strong smell of alcohol emanating off him. Oh God, I hope he didn't drive here. He smells like beer and bourbon mixed in with his normal unique scent, and although I want to hate it, he smells just as incredible as always.

"Good evening _beyoutifullll_ ," he croons, slurring his last word adorably, as he sounds out each syllable.

_Crap! He's drunk and flirty - how am I going to handle him like this?_

"Ethan, hi," I respond. "I wasn't expecting you to make it tonight."

He smiles and straightens up, swaying slightly on his feet. "I'm sorry I'm late, but I didn't want to leave this to another time, I wanted to see you."

_Well drunk or not, that kind of makes me feel good._

_Bats._

_Butterflies._

_Tummy._

_Fluttering..._

I motion for Ethan to come in, and he follows me somewhat unsteadily, in to the main living area of the apartment, stepping carefully as you do when intoxicated. It's like there are invisible landmines scattered across the plush carpet of our living area.

I smile at him because I can't help it.

"I'd ask if you want something to drink but I can see that you've probably had enough already. Water?" I ask him.

His eyes sparkle and wait for it, here it comes, _5, 4, 3, 2, 1_ \- that same stupid, goofy grin.

"Water would be great," he says and moves to plop himself on to the sofa.

Once I see that he's safely settled, I head to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water for him from the fridge. I grab a glass and some ice from the dispenser, and take it over to where he's sprawled adorably in my living room.

"I'm so sorry Ava. I went to meet Grayson for a few drinks after the charity event. We played pool and I got into a few rounds with the boys. Lost track of time. I didn't want to come here like this, but I didn't want to cancel either. I hope you don't mind."

He struggles to remove the cap from the bottle of water with his alcohol-affected fingers, so I take it from him and screw it off on the first try, pouring the water over the ice for him.

I still can't get the images from today out of my head though, so I decide to tackle them up front. It just doesn't sit well with me.

"So how was the charity event today?"

I want to see if he volunteers that Madeline was there, and that she was draped all over him like a cheap suit. I try to keep the disdain from my voice, shrugging casually and maintaining eye contact.

He sighs and rubs his hand over his face before focusing those baby blues on to me. "It was your usual benefit. Signed lots of autographs, took lots of photographs, hosted the auction and made lots of money for Breast Cancer, so that's a plus."

"I saw a few shots of you on line. Madeline was there too?" I can't help it, I had to ask.

"Yeah she was. She arrived at the same time as I did, so we paired up on the arrival carpet. Why do you ask?" he says playfully narrowing his eyes at me.

I don't want to come across as jealous or whiny, and really I have no right to be, so I try for nonchalant. "No reason, she was in a few of the photos with you so I wondered if you had attended together."

"No, we arrived separately, just got there at the same time. The only photos we took together were when we arrived. Did that bother you?" he asks me, grinning from ear to ear.

"Nooooo." I state emphatically shaking my head furiously from side to side to emphasize the action.

He leans forward on the sofa and places his elbows on his knees. He looks at me, his eyes sparkling. "I think it does bother you Ava. I think you're jealous." He places his hand up to motion me to stop before I say anything. "Before you tell me that I'm wrong, just let me believe that I'm right for a moment. Let me enjoy the fact that you may just care enough to be jealous."

"Why would making me feel jealous be pleasing to you?" I ask him, my voice rising to the next octave. _Why would he want that?_

"It's not that I want you to be jealous of anything Ava. I will never put you in a position that would purposely cause you to feel that way. I just like the notion of your being jealous over _me,_ because that means you're feeling something for me, the same way I'm feeling something for you."

_Okay!_

He sits back in to the sofa cushions, crosses his ankles and arms and grins smugly at me again. It's like he's just played a winning hand in poker and is waiting for me to throw down my cards. Maybe drunken Ethan is a good thing, he's opening up and I'm getting more out of him. I can use this to my advantage. I'm going to strike while he's on a roll.

"So Ethan, what exactly is it that you _feel_ for me?

He smiles that breathtaking smile, the one that makes my heart thud behind my ribs. He scoots closer to me on the sofa and takes my hand. Looking straight in to my eyes with his sapphire orbs, he runs his thumb along the vein inside my wrist. It sends shivers to every last inch of my body, igniting the blood that flows like liquid silver through my veins.

His voice lowers, "Ava, I think you know exactly what I'm feeling because you feel it too. I can tell because your face flushes when you see me, your pulse stutters when I touch you like this, and your breath increases just like mine does whenever you're around me."

I can't pull my gaze from his beautiful blue eyes and I can't pull my hand away because I don't want him to stop touching me the way that he is. Time stops and I can't seem to make it start again.

"I don't usually do the one-girl type of relationship. There is just something different about you and I can't put my finger on what it is. All I know is that I want to know you, I want to spend time with you, and I want to try to be a one-girl guy for you. You're sweet and beautiful and I'm everything that you need to steer clear of. But Ava, I'm too selfish to care about any of that, because I want you. I know I'll fuck this up, because I've never cared enough before to try and get to know just one person, but I want to get to know you. _Just_ you."

_Holy crap!_

I know that I need to respond, but what do I follow that up with?

I go with the honest approach because I'm not sure that he will remember any of this tomorrow anyway.

"I do feel all those things for you Ethan and I have to tell you that it scares the shit out of me. I didn't come here to get involved with anyone. I've only been out of a serious relationship for a short period of time and I wasn't looking for another one. The last one scarred me somewhat."

His face drops, and his features are flooded with what looks like disappointment.

"But Ethan, I can't deny that I'm feeling something for you too. I know we've only known each other for the shortest time, but I can't seem to get you out of my head. I'm not happy to jump straight in to a relationship with you, but maybe if we continue to get to know one another we can see where it goes?"

His face brightens and he lifts my hand to his mouth, placing a light kiss on the back of it.

Wow, am I really going to try this with him?

_With freakin' Ethan Drake?_

Am I insane?

Ten minutes in his presence and I'm sending all my rules out the window. I recall telling my dad that I wasn't interested in any _American boys_ , yet here I am seriously considering it.

And seriously in danger of falling for one.

_Holy crap!_

I know he's drunk but I need to make sure he understands what this means for me. "Ethan, I don't do casual relationships. If you really want to give this a try then we need to stay exclusive. My last relationship ended after I discovered that he was cheating on me, I won't go there again. If you want to take this slow and get to know me then I would expect that you wouldn't be sleeping with anyone else."

"I can do that," he says unequivocally, without any hesitation.

"You also need to know that I'm not sure that I'm cut out to be with someone like you. I like my quiet comfortable existence, and I can only imagine that being with someone so public would be anything but quiet and comfortable. But I like you so much that I'm definitely willing to try if you are."

"Ava, I am more than ready and willing to try."

His dreamy eyes are starting to glaze over a little more. I think the bulk of the alcohol is hitting him now. God, I hope he remembers this conversation tomorrow. He starts to slump more in to the chair, holding tight to my hand. He has that dreamy smile on his face but his eyes are a little more hooded than they were when he arrived.

"Shall we just stay in? You're in no state to be going out now. I'll order a pizza."

"Perfect," he says.

I rise from the chair with the intention of grabbing the pizza menu that is attached to the fridge door. Ethan holds tight to my hand, reluctant to release me. I'm standing over him while he reclines on my sofa and he looks so dreamy that I can't resist bending down to kiss those perfect lips of his. His answering smile is content and sweet when I pull back, one that I haven't seen before; so maybe this one is reserved just for me.

"Sealed with a kiss," he says with a hooded grin, and lets my hand go so I can move away.

"What kind of pizza do you want?" I call out to him from the kitchen island.

"Anything. I don't mind. Your choice," he replies.

I place a call to the pizza place and order a pepperoni pizza and some garlic bread sticks to go with it. The guy on the other end of the line tells me that it'll be thirty minutes so I grab plates, napkins, and more water for Ethan and head back to the sofa....

Where Ethan is asleep.

He is gorgeous.

Spread out on the sofa and fast asleep.

_Dreamy._

I can't believe that this perfection is mine.

_Mine._

I'm waiting for the cameras to come out and tell me that I'm being punked.

I spread Ethan's legs out further on the sofa, and slowly remove his converse so that he is more comfortable. In truth I'd love to remove his jeans and make him really comfy on my sofa, but I won't do that.

Not yet anyway....

I grab a mohair throw-rug from the nearby armchair and place it over him. His beautiful face is relaxed in sleep and he looks breathtaking, his long thick lashes fanned across his cheeks, his lush, full lips parted as he breathes in and out.

I run my fingers back through his hair, because I can't resist, and place a light kiss on his cheek. He stirs and rolls to his side, grabbing me in the process.

Before I'm fully aware of what's happened, he has me on my side next to him on the sofa. My back to his front - spooning. He has cocooned me and wrapped his long arms around me, keeping me close. His breath is warm on my neck and remains slow and even in sleep.

This feels every bit as amazing as I thought it would. Every bit as amazing as I dreamed it would.

I toe off my shoes as best I can in this position, and grab the edge of the mohair rug to pull it over both of us. So much for pizza tonight. I snuggle in and close my eyes, enjoying Ethan holding me.

Somewhere along the way I fall asleep.

With Ethan.

#

I awake to the bright light shining in through the windows. My head feels like it has been pummelled, and my throat feels like sandpaper. My arm is holding tight to Ava who is snuggled up against my front. Her hair is tangled around my face and it smells amazing.

I breathe in deeply to fill my lungs with the sweet smell of her.

Despite an almighty hangover and too many drinks with Gray yesterday, I love the position I'm in right now and I don't want to move. I pull her closer against me and nuzzle her neck. I try not to rub against her too much, as _every_ part of me is wide awake this morning.

I remember the conversation we had last night before I obviously passed out. She wants to try, take things slow and see what happens. I'm so fucking relieved. I thought it would take more than one conversation to get her to go there with me.

I really like her, I mean - really, really like her.

I'm shit scared as to how this will play out. Relationships are not my strong point, but I need to give it a go sooner or later. She's worth it.

Ava starts to stir against me and turns in my arms to face me. Her eyes adjust to the light and she looks up at me with those huge dark brown eyes. "Good Morning," she says adorably, nuzzling her face in to my front like a kitten.

"Good Morning back," I say. "How did you sleep?"

"Surprisingly well considering I'm fully dressed and slept on the sofa."

I cup her cheek with my hand and rub my thumb gently over her face. "Ava, I'm so sorry about last night. I should never have met Grayson for drinks. I promised you that I would take you on a tour of the city and I let you down."

"Ethan, nothing about last night was a letdown." She smiles and rests her cheek in to my palm.

"I so want to kiss you right now, but I have a terrible hangover and my mouth feels like a desert," I say.

"No kissing now - morning breath!" She throws her hand across her mouth adorably and rolls away from me to get up.

"I'm going to have a shower. I'll set some towels out for you in Olivia's bathroom if you like?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. When we're done, I'm taking you to breakfast at my favourite place."

"Sounds like a plan." She smiles and heads toward the bathroom.

I sit up and assess the damage.

Aside from the fact that a bass drum feels like it has taken residence in my skull, I'm surprisingly okay. My stomach is not roiling too much. The water that Ava grabbed for me last night is still on the coffee table. I'm sure it's warm by now but I just need the wetness. I down the entire bottle and rise up, ready to take a shower and start the day.

I can hear Ava humming in her bathroom as I pass. The water is running and I can just imagine her gorgeous little body all soaped up under the cascading water. I move past the door towards Olivia's bathroom.

Quickly.

As I stand under the very welcome hot water I can feel the hangover washing away. Thoughts of Ava and our talk last night start to fill my brain. I hope I don't stuff this up with her. I've never done this one-woman relationship thing, so I know that I'll make mistakes.

I finish showering, get dressed and call a cab to take us out to breakfast. There's a great little café near my place that serves the best waffles and pancakes. It's quiet and off the beaten track so we shouldn't attract any attention there. I can grab my car afterwards and show Ava some of the sights that we missed out on last night.

Ava comes out of her room dressed in a cute little white sundress with tiny straps over her slight shoulders. Her long hair is pulled back in to a ponytail and she looks amazing. She grabs her purse and a cardigan and takes my hand - which causes my heart to race - so I can lead her down to the waiting cab.

Who would have thought that such an innocent interaction could have me so tied up in knots!

"Where are we going?"

"There's a great little place near where I live. They do a brilliant breakfast - anything you want - eggs, waffles, pancakes...."

"Oooh I love waffles," she says with a smile.

"C'mon then," I say, pulling her in to the elevator behind me, as I feel my heart beating a furious rhythm against my rib cage.

#

# The Celebrity Life

#

Ava and I have just polished off a massive breakfast feast. She's had waffles and pancakes and I've had the same plus some eggs and bacon. I can barely move but my hangover is now a thing of the past. Amazing what a big, greasy breakfast can do.

"I am sooo full," Ava says as she takes a sip of her tea and puts her other hand over her flat stomach.

"Me too. I told you they did a great breakfast here."

"That they do," she says with a broad smile.

"So, let's head to my place and grab my car, I want to show you some of the sights today."

She claps her hands together and does a little dance in her seat.

"What sights are you most excited to see here in LA?"

"Well I want to see the Chinese Theatre and I want to see Disneyland, Universal Studios - as a tourist rather than as someone that works there - Santa Monica Pier, Venice Beach, I want to go shopping..."

Laughing, I say, "Whoa there."

"Sorry I'm just so excited to be here and I can't wait to see all those places."

"Well, Disneyland takes more than a few hours so let's leave that for another day. What if today we do a tour of the Chinese Theatre, and the surrounding shops? Then perhaps we could do an early dinner off Rodeo Drive?"

Her eyes widen as she takes in my suggestion. "Rodeo Drive as in _Pretty Woman_ 's Rodeo Drive?"

"Yes the very one."

Her excitement is so infectious. I've grown up with all these sights right near me; they don't excite me like this, so I love her enthusiasm. I can't wait to show them to her.

"Can we see the hotel from the movie too?"

"The Beverly Wilshire?"

"Yes. That's it," she says with a smile, trying hard to reign in her excitement.

"Okay. If that's what you want to see, then that's where I'll take you. I'm at your disposal today. I will happily take you wherever your heart desires."

"I like the sound of that," she says with a flirtatious grin as she follows me out the front of the restaurant. "I like the sound of that a lot!"

The cab drops us off at my place so I can pick my car up. I don't take Ava inside the house for two reasons.

Firstly I don't want my mother to see her and treat her the same way she did at the Studio the other day.

Secondly, I don't want to scare her away by letting her see the palatial environment I live in. The house is a reflection of my mother, not of me. I don't want Ava to think that I want to live that way; it's just the way I've always lived. Now though with Ava here, it feels over the top.

Fake.

Heartless.

Lacking warmth and reality.

I told Ava that we would come back another day and I'll give her the tour of the house then. I didn't want her to think that I'm holding back from her or that she was the reason that I didn't take her inside. I just don't want that to be the impression she has of me today.

I'm also choosing to drive my black jeep today. It garners much less attention than the Porsche, and the windows are tinted dark, so there is less chance that we'll be spotted while driving around. I really should have arranged some security to follow us, but I think we should be fine. I'm a little concerned about the Chinese Theatre as that is usually full of tourists, but I have my baseball cap and aviators on so hopefully no one will recognise me.

We pull up to the front of the Chinese Theatre and it is full of touristy sightseeing buses. Shit! Maybe this was a bad idea with so many people here, but I don't want to ruin this for Ava, she's so excited.

I pull the car in to the underground car park nearby and hand my keys to the valet. I take Ava's hand and we climb the stairs to street level. I pull my ball cap further down my head and keep my face downcast, so that no one looks straight at me.

"Ethan, I'm so excited," Ava squeals as we make our way to street level.

We round the corner to the theatre and there are so many people here I can't believe it. I want to get this over with so we can move on to something less crowded. This is making me nervous. Not so much for me, but for Ava. If they recognise me, things could get very busy - very quickly.

"Which hand and foot prints do you want to see first Ava?" I ask, tugging on the peak of my cap to make sure it covers my face as much as possible.

Ava blushes from the neck up and says " _Twilight_. I want to see the ones for _Twilight_ , you know Robert, Kristen, Taylor..."

I laugh and shake my head. "Yes I know who you mean Ava. Come on, they're over here."

I've been here so many times that I know where all the prints are located. My mother's prints are in the far right corner, but I have no intention of showing those to Ava.

The day my mother had hers revealed I was only eleven. The press had a field day taking photos of both of us as her ceremony took place. Of course my mother played the doting parent role and the magazines ate it up. We were front page news on all the glossies that week, and the next!

I end up taking photos of Ava with her hands and feet inside the footprints of the cast of _Twilight, Harry Potter_ and _Star Wars_. She's like a kid in a candy store. Then she starts on the stars along the Walk of Fame. After several photos along there as well, I notice that I have a core group of people following me. I hear one of them say my name and realise that my cover is blown.

Dammit, I don't want to stuff this up for Ava, but I think it's time we move on. I suppose I need to get used to this. It will only get worst once the movie comes out. Maybe it's a good thing for Ava to witness this too. If we're going to try and make a go of this, then she needs to realise what we will have to deal with in public.

A young girl approaches me nervously and asks, "Are you Ethan Drake?"

"Yes," I reply with a smile. I may as well be gracious.

She looks like she's about to faint as she asks for a photo and an autograph, and that sets the ball rolling. Fifteen minutes later I'm still going and I have no idea where Ava is. I can't see her over the crowd of people that surround me. I have pens and papers being shoved in to my face from all angles. I've even had a few choice body parts flashed at me.

After another ten minutes of signing and posing for shots, I politely try to excuse myself to find Ava and get the fuck out of here.

Stat.

I find her back over near the front of the theatre looking at more hand and foot prints. She's lost in her own little world and I can't help but stare at the awed look on her face. Reality busts back in when another fan approaches me, and I have to excuse myself again.

We need to get out of here.

Now!

I grab Ava by her elbow to steer her towards the parking garage. "Ava, I'm so sorry about that. Let's get out of here before it gets any crazier. Did you see everything you wanted to see?"

She smiles at me with sparkling eyes, "Yes thanks. That was so cool."

"C'mon. Let's head to Rodeo Drive. We can look at some shops and grab some lunch."

Ava gives me a hard stare. "Ethan, there is no way I can fit lunch in after that breakfast, and there is definitely no way I can afford to shop on Rodeo Drive, window shop maybe."

"Ava, _I_ can afford to shop on Rodeo Drive, so let's go see what they have to offer."

I know that I've been hell bent on not flashing my wealth at Ava, but nothing would give me more fuckin' pleasure than taking her to Rodeo Drive and buying her whatever her heart desires. I know she's not like that, but I would love to do it for her, if she'd let me.

After a long walk down the length of Rodeo Drive - window shopping, because Ava won't accept any of the items that I attempt to purchase for her - we head to the Beverly Wilshire. I take a few photos of Ava out front of it, with its signature awnings and gorgeous façade. We decide to forgo lunch after the big breakfast we had, but truth be told, I could have easily gone for something else. I'm hungry.

The remainder of our day has been fan free - thank god - so I haven't had to deal with anymore photos or autographs. The clientele on Rodeo Drive aren't as fast to acknowledge a star in their midst. They see it all the time.

As we climb back in to the jeep after a pretty exhausting day of sightseeing, Ava's phone buzzes to indicate an incoming text.

"It's from Olivia," she says, not that I expect an explanation.

"Liv said that there are photos of us on line. I'll text her back. "

"Shit!" Ava says. "Ethan there are photos of us on line out and about today." The little crease on her brow has returned. I'm learning that she gets that whenever something is really worrying her.

"Jump on to _Google_ on your phone and have a look," I suggest.

Her mouth forms an 'O' as she looks at the pictures splashed on all the gossip sites of the two of us together. The headlines are proposing that she is my latest flame, but thankfully not one of them have named her yet. I know it won't take long for them to find out who she is, but I keep that to myself. She already looks totally freaked out.

So much for our quiet day out together.

"Ava I'm so sorry. I didn't want this to happen so soon. We'll just keep a low profile and the gossip will die down. They'll move on to someone else tomorrow."

She looks concerned. "Ethan, I'm not good with this. I like to remain in the background, out of the limelight. This is making me really nervous." She chews on her bottom lip as she scrolls across her screen.

_Goddammit!_

I didn't want this to happen; this is the type of thing that will scare her off. It's suddenly my mission to protect her from every lens, and every fan, so that she doesn't freak out on me. I scrap the idea of eating dinner out and decide to drive through the Mexican restaurant that I got our dinner from a few nights ago so that we can eat in. I need to protect Ava from roaming eyes.

"Why don't you text Liv again and see if she is home. We can bring Mexican."

"Great idea," she says brightening somewhat.

After texting Olivia, Ava announces that both she and Ryan are at the apartment. We grab Mexican for all four of us, as well as beer, and head back there. I'm hoping to erase the stress of the day for Ava, with good food, beer and great company.

Just as we enter through the door, Ava's phone rings. She has Katy Perry's _Roar_ as her ringtone. It fits her perfectly.

Ava answers, "Hi Mum."

I don't know what Ava's mom is saying on the other end of the line but I see Ava's face pale and I hear her side of the conversation. "I know Mum...... We were sightseeing...... Yes that's Ethan....... Thanks Mum...... I know, I know....... Me too..... Yes, I'll put her on.... Love you too."

Ava hands her phone to Olivia so she can talk to her mom also.

"Your parents have seen the pictures from today?" I ask cautiously. Her smile belies the stress I can see in her eyes.

"Yep," she says.

"Are they okay with it?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yes, they were just surprised. They're used to seeing Liv on the gossip sites, not me. It freaks me out a little that they're in Australia, and they've already seen photos of me from today Ethan. I'm on the other side of the world to them! My cousin Amanda saw them first and called Mum. Now the whole family is aware, and they're all intrigued to know what I was doing with you."

"What did you say to that?" I ask, interested in her answer.

"You heard me. I didn't say much. I just confirmed that it was you and that we were out sightseeing. Mum saw the stories claiming that we were an item so she was just telling me about them. She didn't ask me outright if we were, so I didn't say anything re that. Believe me, she'll ask in time."

Olivia signs off on her call and hands Ava her phone back.

"Mum is stressing Ava. She's asked me to keep an eye on you," Olivia laughs.

Great. Now I have Ava's mom stressing about her being seen with me too.

I can't win.

"C'mon Guys, let's eat before this is stone cold," I say, trying to change the subject and salvage the evening.

I can tell Ava is trying to act okay with everything but I know this has rattled her. If she can't do this then she can't be with me. This is my life. I just need to try and shelter her from it as much as possible so it doesn't push her away.

The question I have to ask is - _How?_

#

# Hawaii

#

I'm not going to lie; yesterday freaked me out quite a bit.

A lot, if I'm being totally honest.

_Holy crap!_

I tried to act calm when all those people started to mob Ethan while we were out at the Chinese Theatre, but it was hard to watch. I wandered away and tried to blend in with other tourists, pretending to look at all the hand and foot prints, but I was really concerned. Concerned for Ethan mainly, because there were so many people vying for his attention; and then concerned for myself, because I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to deal with that. I know it comes with the territory, but it doesn't make it any easier to adjust to.

It was crazy.

Last night after dinner, Ethan was so sweet to me. We sat on the balcony looking out over the lights of LA and just talked.

About everything.

We were so relaxed in each other's company and it felt really nice. He was always touching me, whether it was holding my hand, or placing his arm around me, but he never took it too far. He was respectful.

In a way, that disappointed me.

My mind kept drifting back to the night on the sofa when we were supposed to be watching _Top Gun_. I was hoping we may have gone there again, but I think Ethan is trying to take things slowly like I asked, so I didn't push it. He did give me a soul-melting kiss goodnight when he left though.

Believe me - it kept me awake most of the night thinking about what else he can do with those talented lips of his.

And those hands....

Now I'm sitting in my office at the Studio with Josh, finalising all the details for our trip to Hawaii. I'm so excited to go. We board our flight the day after tomorrow and will be there filming for a full five days. The schedule is jam packed, but we have free time allotted on two of the evenings there, and most afternoons are free. Filming has been slotted for mornings and overnight. We're all going to be exhausted, but I don't care, I'm just so keen to get there and see what it's like.

"Ethan is bringing Nanny Grace in to the Studio for a visit today," Josh says to me with a knowing smile.

How does he know that I've met Nanny Grace? Clearly Ethan tells him more than I realise.

"Oh that's great," I reply. "She's such a great lady. I'm looking forward to seeing her again."

"She is great isn't she? I love her. She's so feisty and switched-on for someone of her age. I love her spirit."

"I think I used those same words to describe her when I first met her Josh,"

"I saw the photos of you and Ethan on line last night. How was that for you?"

"It was kind of weird. Mostly I was worried for Ethan, but it scared me to think that one minute I was out enjoying my day, and the next minute, my mum on the other side of the world is calling to tell me that she's seen photos of us. Photos that were taken only a few hours prior. I don't know how Ethan and Olivia do it."

"It's going to get manic for both of them once the movie releases, they will have media outlets following them everywhere they go," he says as he ruffles through some papers on his desk.

"I know. That's what scares me. If I try this with Ethan then I'm opening myself up to that. I don't think I can do it. I value my privacy too much, and it kind of scared me yesterday. Not that I told him that."

Joshua gives me a knowing smile. "Well Ava, I think you may have already started something that you can't stop. That being said, you need to make a decision about whether or not you can deal with it, because it will be a part of the _Ethan Drake_ package."

"I'm going to see Chelsea to grab a coffee. Do you want something?"

"A green tea would be great. Thanks Josh." He turns to leave but I call out to stop him. "Hey Josh?"

He turns and gives me that full smile of his, "Yeah?"

"What's up with you and Chelsea?" I ask him, grinning from ear to ear.

"Same thing that's up with you and Ethan," he replies, winks and turns the corner towards the café.

I've just finished going through Olivia's schedule with her when I look up to see Ethan and Nanny Grace at the door to Olivia's dressing room.

I stand to greet them. "Ava darling, how nice to see you again," Nanny Grace says as she pulls me in to a warm embrace.

"Nanny wouldn't let me take her back to the nursing home without seeing you first," Ethan says as he reaches out and brushes his fingers across my hand.

"Hello again Nanny Grace," Olivia calls out from her bathroom. "I'll be out in a moment; I'm just removing the make-up from the last scene I shot."

"No hurry Olivia dear," Nanny calls back.

"Here, come and sit Nanny Grace," I say, moving some papers aside to make room for her on the sofa.

She sits right next to me and takes my hand, patting it. "This is all so exciting isn't it Ava?"

I nod and smile. "Yes it is. I still have to pinch myself to believe that this is all real and that I'm working on this movie."

"I'm so proud of my Ethan, and so excited to see the movie come out." She turns her gaze to Ethan and says, "Be a dear and go grab me a tea will you?"

Ethan rolls his eyes and leaves to get Nanny a tea. We both know that this is her way of getting some time alone with me again. I wonder what words of wisdom she will impart on me this time.

"Ava sweetie, Ethan told me about the wonderful day you both had yesterday. He's worried that the photos that came out have upset you. I told him that I saw great courage and resilience in you when we met last time, and that a few photos coming out would not deter you from enjoying your time with him. Am I right?" She cocks her head to the side to wait for my response. Ethan uses the same move, now I know where he got it from.

I know she can see right through me so I opt for absolute honesty when answering her. "They did upset me a little, but I was more concerned for Ethan than anything. There were so many people trying to get his attention. I hate to think how bad it will be once the movie comes out. It was a little scary and I'm not sure that I'm cut out for it, but I'm certainly willing to try."

"Good girl," she says as she releases my hand. "Ava, good relationships don't just happen, they take time and patience but most importantly communication. He's worried about you. Talk to him about it, he'll understand your concerns."

Realisation dawns on me.

I've been talking about my concerns with everyone, except Ethan. Olivia and I discussed it over breakfast this morning, then Josh, and now Nanny Grace. If I want this to work with Ethan then _he_ is the one that I should be communicating with. I'll talk to him today and reassure him, that yes - it freaked me out, but that I'm still on board with this.

To me, he's worth it.

_We_ are worth it.

Ethan returns to the room just as we finish chatting and gives us both a tight smile. He is worried about what Nanny Grace has said to me, so I smile back in reassurance, trying to let him know that everything is well. He hands Nanny her tea just as Olivia exits her bathroom, and moves over to us to give Nanny a big hug.

"Olivia dear hello. How beautiful you are," Nanny says to Liv.

"Olivia, will you take me for a walk to set and show me what you've just been shooting?" Nanny asks.

"Sure," Olivia says and offers Nanny Grace her hand to help her up.

She hands me the tea that Ethan just gave her and I place it on the side table next to the sofa.

Here she goes again; I'm beginning to think that she's a bit bossy. This is obviously her way of making sure that I talk to Ethan.

"Back soon dears," she says as she exits the room with Liv and gives us a little wave.

Ethan turns to me and shakes his head with an exasperated smile. "She's about as subtle as a sledgehammer isn't she?"

"Ethan look, I'm sorry. I haven't spoken to you about everything that happened yesterday because I've been trying to get it all straight in my own head. I was freaked out about all the people that were coming up to you, and especially about the photos that were released, but I understand that this comes with you. You can't help it; it's just part of the territory. I don't want you to think that it's changed my mind about us. I still want to give this a go if you do."

Now I feel anxious. I hope that he hasn't changed his mind. Maybe after those photos were released yesterday he is the one having second thoughts.

Ethan moves closer to me on the sofa and cups my cheeks with his hands; His beautiful blue eyes searching mine.

"I was worried that everything that happened had _you_ second guessing us. I know that a lot comes with me. I know that this life is not one you would have signed on for. I will try and protect you from it as much as I can, but I can't keep everything out of the papers Ava, they will still see things, and they will still publish photos and stories. Many of which will be untrue. As long as you promise me that if you ever read anything that upsets you, come to me first for clarification."

"I will," I nod.

"You have to promise me," he says.

I smile and nod, "I promise. I will come to you if I see anything..."

He smiles that breathtaking smile of his and leans towards me. He places a light kiss on my lips and I feel it travel down, tingling behind my knees.

He pulls back and smiles at me.

Then he moves in again, winding his hand around the back of my neck to pull me closer. His lips become more insistent on mine. I wind my hands up into his glorious hair and pull him to me.

This feels right.

I love this.

We kiss like we have limited time and we want to make the most of it.

I hear Olivia and Nanny approaching the room so I pull back. Ethan and I are both breathless from our kiss. I feel a strange peace settle over me; like that kiss just sealed away any stress and doubt that I had been feeling this morning. Ethan's hands are still cupping my face and he's smiling at me as Liv and Nanny come through the door.

Nanny gives me a knowing smile and Olivia gives me a wink.

"Ethan dear, now that I've seen everything here I think you need to take me out to lunch before taking me back to the nursing home."

Yes, Nanny is definitely bossy, but in a good way.

Ethan places a kiss on the back of my hand and rises from the sofa to take Nanny out to lunch.

I give him a small smile to let him know that everything is okay and he answers it with one of his own.

"A hug for me Ava?" she asks.

"Of course," I reply.

She whispers in my ear, "Remember stay open to any possibilities Ava sweetie."

I pull back and nod as she gives me a sly wink.

And just like that, with a smile and a wave, she and Ethan leave the room, leaving the wisdom of Nanny Grace hanging in the air.

"Liv?" I call.

"Yeah Sis?"

"How many pieces of luggage are you bringing to Hawaii?"

"Two suitcases and a carry on," she replies from her room.

Olivia never packs light.

I've spread all my clothing out on the bed while I try to decide what to bring with me to Hawaii. I think I need to head to the shops tomorrow and grab a few things, especially a new bikini. I have plenty of cute sun dresses and too many shoes, so I need to cut back on how many I'm bringing. I'm not sure if we'll be heading out in the evenings, but I have packed two gorgeous cocktail dresses - just in case. One can always hope.

I grab my suitcase and start to pack everything in. I only want to bring the one bag with me. My carry on will be filled with my ipad, schedules and work items, so I need to get all of my personal items in to my case.

My mind drifts to Ethan and I wonder what he's doing. I'm sure he wouldn't be worrying about packing yet, guys do all of that last minute don't they?

Five days in Hawaii with Ethan, I'm so excited to see what that brings.

_Romantic location, sun and surf..._.

Mind you, I'm sure that the work side of things will keep us all so busy that there will be little time for anything else. Not to mention that there are so many of us heading over - Crew, Assistants, Directors, Actors and more. I think there is a group of over twenty in total. Of course Madeline is coming too. I'll do my best to avoid her at all costs while we're there.

"Dinner's ready Ava," Olivia calls from the other room.

I leave my packing and head out to her. She's made her world-famous lasagne, my favourite of all of her dishes.

"Liv, I think I need to hit the shops tomorrow, there are a few items I need for the trip."

"No worries, we can head out in the morning. I'll take you to a few cute boutiques I've discovered since being here," she says. "I'm excited for us to have a girlie shopping day."

She hands me a plate and we make our way out to the balcony. We seem to spend most evenings eating out here. It is so gorgeous with the lights of the city in the background and the humid evening air.

"Is Ryan coming over tonight?"

"No, he's busy getting everything ready for the trip. I'll see him at the airport. What about Ethan? Are you seeing him tonight?"

"No. I wanted to get organised for Hawaii, and I don't want to jump in too fast. We spent all of yesterday together. I don't want him to get sick of me too quickly."

Olivia laughs. "I don't think there's much chance of that Sis."

She forks some lasagne in to her mouth and wipes her lips with a napkin. "I'd say he's pretty taken with you. Nanny Grace certainly seems to think so."

"You and Nanny were talking about me?" I ask.

"Nanny was talking, I was listening," she says with her mouth full.

I laugh. "That sounds like Nanny Grace."

"I think Ethan has talked to Nanny. It seems he is quite serious about making a go of things with you. I have to say, I've never seen this with him before Ava. Mind you, it is _you_ that we are talking about so I shouldn't be surprised."

"You are so biased Sis," I laugh.

"That I am, but I love you and I want to see you happy. Ethan's a great guy, but remember what I said to you when you first arrived. He still has Hollywood in his veins, and I do worry that he will hurt you. Just be careful. I don't want anything to send you running back home; I'm enjoying having you here too much."

"Don't worry Liv, I'm being careful. After Cole, this heart is not so easily given away." I take a sip of my water.

"I hate that he did that to you Ava. I hate that he has you questioning relationships now. He'd better hope I never see him again." Olivia says.

"I'm over it Liv. I don't want to talk about him anymore. I just want to concentrate on moving forward."

She smiles at me with lasagne in her teeth. If the fans could see her now! I gesture to her to remove it. She places her napkin over her mouth and says, "Just concentrate on moving forward with the gorgeous Ethan."

"That I will." I smile at the thought and concentrate on eating the rest of the gorgeous dinner that Olivia has prepared for us. No matter what, Ethan is now occupying my thoughts, not Cole.

That's the way I want it to stay.

#

# Favourites

#

I roll up to the airport in the black tinted SUV that the Studio sent for me this morning. The paparazzi are swarming the entrance. I guess they got wind that we were all flying out to Hawaii today. Great! I hate to think what waits at the other end.

Josh is standing waiting for me, looking official.

Opening the door he says, "Morning Ethan," as he grabs one of my bags for me.

"Mornin' Josh. Great reception hey?" I say as I cock my head and roll my eyes towards the waiting photographers.

"Yeah, let's get you checked in and away from this."

I follow Josh inside while the driver brings the remainder of my bags with him. Up ahead I can see Olivia and Ava checking in and handing over their luggage to be tagged. I know there are photographers everywhere but I can't help creeping up behind Ava and curling my arms around her waist. She jumps at first from the contact and then turns in my arms throwing hers around my neck.

"Good Mornin'," I say into her neck, inhaling her sweet scent and resisting the urge to kiss a path from her ear to her collarbone. If the photographers weren't here she'd be in trouble.

I can feel her smile against my skin. "Good Morning Ethan," she replies.

I hear the clicks of the camera shutters going off behind us, but I don't care. Let them get their shots. Right now, there is nowhere else I would rather be than in this moment with Ava.

Pulling back I ask, "Are you looking forward to this?"

She smiles her gorgeous smile, and nods enthusiastically. I catch her glancing over my shoulder and then her smile turns in to a frown as she realises that the photographers have caught our special moment.

"Ignore them. Pretend they aren't here," I say, turning her face back to mine. She still looks anxious but her eyes flick back to mine and her smile returns.

Once the luggage has been handed over and is safely on its way to the plane, we are herded to the VIP lounge to await our flight. An airline representative is madly moving ahead of us, trying to clear our way through airport corridors and back entrances so that we can all avoid the waiting public and reporters that have gathered. I notice that Ava is behind me so I pull up and wait for her, holding my hand out for her to take. She smiles and entwines her fingers with mine as she moves up to walk with me. As always, I feel that comfort in her touch.

I glance ahead and notice that Madeline is glaring at us. Her disgust is clear on her face. She's such a bitch. I don't know why she has such distaste for Ava, but it's clear as day in her expression. Her eyes slide from mine to my hand in Ava's, and she turns her head with force, her hair flicking in the process, focusing on moving ahead. I'm going to have to keep an eye on her over the next few days. I don't want her anywhere near Ava. I sneak a glance down at Ava but she seems to have missed Madeline's appraisal of us.

After an hour and two beers in the VIP Lounge, we're herded on to the waiting flight. I realise as we are all seated, that I'm in First Class with Olivia, Ryan, Madeline, our Director and another Producer, but everyone else is back in Coach.

_Fuck._

Not the way I wanted this trip to start.

Ava gives me a sweet smile as she and Josh file past to take their seats some rows behind us. Olivia and Ryan are already settled in the seats across the aisle from mine. I hear Madeline coming through the front doors of the plane. She hands her boarding pass to the waiting stewardess and is directed to the seat beside me.

_Double Fuck!_

"Hey Ethan," she says as she hands her coat and carry on to the waiting steward. "Looks like we get to enjoy each other's company for the next five or so hours."

I give her a tight smile and return to flicking through the airline magazine that I have in my hand.

The stewardess returns moments later with champagne and nuts for us. She bends across Madeline and places my champagne on to the small tray in front of me, brushing her fingers across my hand as she retreats. I look up at her and she gives me a sultry stare as she bats her lashes, letting me know that I could re-join the mile hile club right now if I wanted to. She's gorgeous, but Ava is on this flight and I'm not about to stuff anything up by going there. I give her a tight smile that sends her on her way - for now.

"So Ethan," Madeline starts, "What's going on with you and Olivia's sister?"

"Her name is Ava. You know that Madeline," I reply as I continue to flick through the magazine hoping that she will turn her attention elsewhere.

"Right - _Ava_ ," she says, rolling her tongue around Ava's name like she has something disgusting in her mouth. "So what's going on there?" she asks again, taking a long sip of her champagne.

I'm not about to spill my guts to Madeline. I think I can trust her in terms of whether or not she would talk to the media, but I can't trust her to not say something inappropriate to Ava. She needs to curb her bitchy attitude.

Weighing things up, I decide to go with honesty.

"I really like her Madeline. We're taking things slowly to see where they go. End of story. No more to tell."

Not too much information, but enough for her to realise that I'm serious.

Madeline turns to look at me. "Ethan, _really_ ," she whines. "She has no concept of the lifestyle we live, no concept of fame, paparazzi, movie stardom, nothing! You really think you can make that work?" she scoffs and shakes her head at me. "You have no idea how difficult that will make things for you."

Before I can respond she continues, "She won't cope with what you do Ethan and you know it deep down. Why take the chance? Stick with your own kind. I don't mean me, I just mean someone who knows what this business is about. You need a starlet on your arm, someone that can stand beside you at a premiere and shine. Someone who has enough notoriety of their own to compliment yours and assist with your career. She's not it for you."

I give her a wry smile. "Well Madeline, I'm so glad that you have given my love life so much consideration," I say with as much sarcasm as I can muster. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm quite happy to manage this by myself. I like Ava... a lot. I'm happy to take a chance and I don't feel the need to date someone that reminds me of my mother. I would appreciate it if you treated Ava with respect while we are away."

She gives me a dirty look.

"Your loss. I think you're being naïve and stupid. You're disregarding your own career Ethan. Who you date makes news and you should be using it to your advantage." She reaches down in to her purse and pulls out a large glossy fashion magazine and her i-pod. She fixes the ear buds in to her ears, scrolls to a playlist, and starts to flick through the pages of her magazine.

Just like that, she puts a stop to our conversation.

_Thank Christ!_

I sit restlessly in my seat for a while longer, mulling over everything that Madeline has just said to me. I keep coming back to the fact that she's shallow and fame hungry and everything she does is career-focused. My career is incredibly important to me but for the first time in my life, I'm starting to realise that there are other things that can be equally as important, if not more so.

I really want to spend quality time with Ava while we're in Hawaii. I need to talk to Josh about setting up a date, something for just the two of us.

Madeline's head falls back against the seat, so I think she's fallen asleep. I unbuckle my seat belt and head towards the Coach section of the plane. We've been in the air for about thirty minutes and the smell of lunch is filling the cabin. I search the rows until I see Josh and Ava laughing over something they're both watching on the in-flight entertainment system. Ava's big eyes find mine and she removes the headphones from her ears as I approach their row. Passengers in the surrounding seats are taking notice, but I don't care.

"Josh, how would you like to experience a first class lunch today?" Joshua's eyes light up and he jumps from his seat, grabbing his belongings.

"Thanks Ethan," he says.

"Row 1, window seat, left aisle." I point towards the front of the aircraft to where he needs to go. "Oh and Josh; Madeline is asleep in the seat next to yours. Hopefully she will stay that way."

Joshua laughs and heads back in the direction that I just came from.

I slide in to the seat next to Ava. She smiles at me and takes my hand, lacing her fingers through mine. This is the first real time she has initiated our contact and it feels amazing. Some of the people in the surrounding seats are watching us, but their curiosity soon wanes and their attention moves elsewhere. There is only so much gawking you can do on a plane without looking really creepy.

I rub my thumb over Ava's warm hand. "Ethan, do you really want to give up a first class lunch to sit back here with me?"

"I can't think of anywhere else I would rather be. I'm happy to eat stale coach-class sandwiches just to have the pleasure of your company."

"Thank you," she says and smiles shyly at me.

"What were you and Josh watching when I came up? You were both laughing."

"We were watching episodes of _Modern Family_. I love that show, especially Cam, he is hilarious."

"Is that your favourite show?"

"One of them," she blushes.

"What?" I ask.

"Well I love comedies, but I really love trashy reality TV, you know the _Real Housewives_ ... _the Kardashians_ , that kind of thing." She says that like she's ashamed to admit it.

"Really Ava? I never figured you for the type that would love watching other people's lives play out in public." I tease.

She laughs and turns her head to look out the window. I continue to stroke my thumb over her palm.

"Tell me more about you. What's your favourite colour, what's your favourite movie, who was your first famous crush, who is your current famous crush?"

"Wow, okay," she says turning back to me. "Favourite colour - Blue; Favourite movie - a toss-up between _Titanic_ and The _Twilight_ Movies, although I love _Harry Potter_ too. First Famous Crush - well Leo DiCaprio of course, hence _Titanic_ being a favourite. Current Famous Crush - well I think you know the answer to that one." She looks at me shyly through her long lashes.

I feel a satisfied smile spread across my face. I can't stop it.

"Your turn," she says. "Now you have to answer the same questions." She points her finger in to my chest playfully.

"Well, favourite colour - also Blue. Favourite movie - depends, but I love the _Star Wars_ movies, the originals that is, not so much the more recent ones. First famous crush was Katie Holmes, I loved _Dawson's Creek_. I got to meet her once when she was still married to Tom. She was very sweet. Current famous Crush - that's a hard one, I don't really think I have one, although I really like the _Black Eyed Peas_ , so I guess Fergie would be a crush."

"Have you ever met her?" Ava asks.

"No. I've seen them live, but I haven't met her."

"Well I'm glad." Ava says. "That could make me a little jealous."

"Okay my turn again," I say, enjoying this game.

"Favourite Food? First Kiss? Best date ever?" I ask.

"They're hard ones to answer. Let me think." Her little brow furrows and that adorable wrinkle returns. This time I lean over and kiss it, just between her eyes.

"I've wanted to kiss that spot for ages," I whisper as I pull back from her. Ava leans forward and places a light kiss on my lips.

"I've wanted to kiss _that_ spot for ages," she says back to me. "Now, no more distractions, I'm trying to think of my answers here."

My thumb continues to trace patterns on her palm.

"Okay," she says. "Italian is definitely my favourite food, although I also love a good steak. My first kiss was with Jeff Jones behind the bike sheds at school when I was eleven. My best date.....that's a hard one. I don't think I've ever been on a date that was so memorable that I would refer to it as _the best date ever_ ..." She stares off in to the distance, recalling some memory, but then snaps her attention back to me.

"Your turn again," she says.

"Favourite Food - Mexican, you should know that one by now," I tease. "First kiss - Lisa Reilly in Junior High, under the bleachers on the sports field during baseball practice. Best date ever? Well I'm not a big _dater_ , so I don't think I'm qualified to answer that one yet. Ask me again after we've been to Hawaii."

She gives me a sweet smile, as the stewardess arrives with lunch packs for each of us. As we open them, I realise that my previous comment about stale sandwiches was not far off the mark. We both take a bite and turn to each other with screwed up faces. "I wonder what Josh is getting to eat in first class?" she says.

"Let's not think about that. It'll only make it harder to stomach what we have here," I say as I gesture to the mediocre packed lunch we've been given. "I told you, I would much rather eat this and sit here with you than sit next to Madeline eating the finest cuisine in the world."

Ava gives me that gorgeous smile and continues to chew on her sandwich.

"Have you and Josh finalised the schedules for the rest of today?"

"Yep," she says quickly.

"What's on for tonight?" I ask.

"A cast and crew dinner tonight as far as I know, hosted by the hotel. Josh and I didn't arrange this one; I think one of the Production Assistants did."

"Cool. Can I escort you to that?"

"I'd love that Ethan."

"Great. I'll pick you up from your room and we can have a few drinks before we join everyone else."

"Perfect," she says.

Perfect is right. Everything about her is perfect.

#

# Fun in the Sun

#

I'm staying in the most gorgeous Suite I have ever seen. Liv and I have been put up in a two bedroom beach-front suite in the heart of Waikiki.

The beach is breathtaking. Crystal clear water, framed by pure, clean sand and the bluest sky I have ever seen. The weather is stunning, and I feel like I'm in heaven.

The suite is furnished with bamboo-style furniture and all the linens are a pristine, crisp white. There is a small terrace outside the double glass doors that head to the ocean, which has a u-shaped wicker sofa and large, plush cushions. I think I'll be spending a lot of time out there when we aren't working.

The entire room smells of frangipanis, it's enchanting.

The flight over here from LA was better than I could have ever hoped for. Ethan was adorable and we talked so much that the flight felt like it went so quickly. I can't believe that he gave up his First Class seat so he could spend that time with me. The more I get to know him, the more I wonder when I'm going to see the other side of him that everyone else keeps warning me about. So far he has been so sweet to me. I'm almost waiting for the other shoe to drop.

In the back of my mind I keep thinking of all the women I've seen him pictured with, and I do wonder if I'm just another in a long line. I guess I have to keep a hold of reality a little, because being with him seems so surreal.

I've decided to take a quick swim before dinner. Liv is already over checking out Ryan's room and enjoying time with him. Josh and I have spent the last few hours in his Suite working to finalise the schedules for Liv and Ethan. I have a couple of hours free now before Ethan comes to pick me up so I've put my new bright cobalt-blue bikini on, and my matching cover up. I grab my large black sunglasses and my flip flops, and head to the lagoon-style pool.

The deck surrounding the pool is covered in luxurious lounge chairs. I take one that is partially out of the sun. I want to get a little colour on my legs, but I don't want my face to burn. I settle back and pull out my ipad, ready to get in to the book that I am currently obsessing with. I can't get enough of indie authors at the moment and I've discovered some amazing writers.

That said, my favourite past time is people watching. I can hide behind my _Jackie O_ sunglasses and watch without anyone even knowing what I'm doing.

There's a swim-up pool bar in the large lagoon-style pool which seems to be where most of the action is happening. I notice a large group of guys milling around whoever is sitting on the last stool at the end of the bar. I cock my head to the side discreetly trying to see what is going on. That's when I see Madeline in her large floppy sunhat, and gold bikini sitting there. She's sipping on something fruity looking, with pineapple and cherries on the side of the glass. The men surrounding her are mesmerised. She is really stunning. It's a pity she is so horrible to me whenever we are in each other's presence, because that really clouds my feelings towards her. Not in a good way either.

I sit and watch them all for a while, hoping that she won't realise that I'm here. She is flirtatious and charming from what I witness. This is her typical public persona. None of those guys would imagine the bitch that lurks beneath her surface. There is not one nice bone in her body. I never really say that I hate anyone, but what I feel for her closely resembles hatred.

My Madeline-watching is interrupted by a text coming in to my cell phone. I rummage through the beach bag that I brought down to the pool to try and find it.

It's Ethan. I can't help the stupid grin that graces my lips when I see his name.

_God! I'm pathetic when it comes to that boy._

**Can't wait for tonight. C u in a few. E x**

I love the little kiss that punctuates the end of his message.

I text back, fingers shaking.

**Me too. x**

I put my phone down on to the table next to my lounger when another text sounds off.

**What r u doing?**

I let my fingers flow over the keys and type:

**At the pool for an hour, getting some sun x**

I put the phone down again and gather up my ipad to try and get in to my book. I don't want Madeline to see that I'm here, so best to keep my attention elsewhere. After being totally engrossed in the second chapter, I notice that the sun is moving and is now being blocked from my legs. I look up, shading my eyes with my hand, and see Ethan standing at the end of my lounge chair, blocking the rays.

He is gorgeous.

I mean totally gorgeous.

He has on dark navy blue board shorts that hang low on his hips, allowing that deep 'V' of muscle to be on display. I've fantasized about running my tongue over and over that part of his body..... His trademark hair is messy and sexy and his aviators cover his eyes. None of that is what holds my attention though. My eyes can't seem to move past the chiselled abs and smooth, tanned skin of his chest once they land there. A smug smile breaks out on his face. I move my eyes to his as he says, "Like what you see?"

I lick my lips as I feel a blush staining my cheeks.

Totally caught checking him out.

_Way to go Ava!_

Not even my sunglasses could hide that.

He extends his hand out to me and cocks his head to the side giving me a dazzling smile. "Swim?"

He throws his aviators and a towel on to my lounger near my feet and waits as I get up. This time I catch him ogling me. His eyes travel from my feet to my face very slowly.

Very, very slowly.

His tongue pokes out and he wets his bottom lip as he takes me in. I feel that in places that I should not be feeling anything while I am out in public.

He is so hot!

Checking me out.

The idea that he is looking at me like that does ridiculous things to my already raging libido. I feel the heat pool between my legs, and I cross my arms over my chest to try and hide my nipples that have hardened with the desire burning in his eyes.

I mimic him and say. "Like what you see?"

"Very much," he answers with a cheeky laugh. He oozes confidence.

I take his hand and we descend the steps in to the stunning pool.

I stop just before we reach the edge of the water, pulling slightly to stop Ethan from moving further. "Madeline is over at the pool bar. I don't want to deal with her so can we just stay out of the way, over here?"

"Sure," he says. "You know you can't let Madeline get to you Ava. She's a bitch, what can I say. Don't take it personally though; she's like that with everyone."

"No, she's like that with anyone that can't help her to get any further. She's fine with you and the Directors, Producers; she's just a cow to anyone that can't do anything for her."

"True, but as I said, don't let it get to you. Just let it wash off your back. She's not worth it."

With that Ethan snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me against him, dragging me in to the deeper water. His eyes darken as he pulls me closer, tight against his chest. My legs instinctively wrap around his waist and my arms link behind his neck. We stare in to each other's eyes for a moment before he gives me a wicked smile and leans towards me, attaching his lips to mine.

He kisses me slowly and with purpose. I feel it tingling every inch of my body.

His soft lips move over mine in a slow dance. He opens his mouth to allow his tongue to touch mine. I tangle my hands in to his hair and he tightens his grip on my hips. I can't do this for much longer without becoming indecent in this very public place. Our tongues twist and turn taking in every inch of each other, trying desperately to reach every part of the other's mouth.

I reach a point where I need to pull back. We can't go any further out here. I'm breathless and panting for more. I wrap my arms tighter around his neck and bury my face in the crook of his neck, breathing hard and trying to get my heart rate under control.

"God you're so beautiful," he says, as he trails his fingers down my spine, and I feel that touch fire through all my veins. My nerves are on high alert.

With those words, I think my heart just leapt out of my chest and flip flopped to the bottom of the pool. I wrap myself around him tighter and say, "Thank you." He's rendered me speechless.

Did I ever stand a chance of resisting him?

I realise as we stay wrapped around each other in this pool, under the Hawaiian sun, that I don't want to resist him, I want him, all of him, and I'm going to let myself go with it.

Promises that I made to myself can be damned.

_What promises?_

I've just finished fastening the ankle strap of my new high-heeled sandals when someone knocks on the door to the Suite. I couldn't decide what to wear tonight, so I decided on a coral coloured baby doll dress. It has cute little capped sleeves but falls quite a bit before my knees. It's sweet but sexy. I've pulled my hair in to a messy bun to try and counteract the evening heat.

I gather up my clutch and my wrap and head to the door. Ethan is slightly early.

As I open the door I realise it's not Ethan - it's Josh.

"Hey Josh, come in."

"You look great Ava."

"Thanks," I say.

Josh moves over to the living area of the room and sets down his ipad. I don't think he goes anywhere without it. He looks anxious.

"Josh, is everything okay?"

"Well, yeah," he says. "There is something though...." he trails off.

"Josh, whatever it is, just tell me." I'm getting nervous now. Has he seen Ethan with another girl? Is something wrong with Liv?

"I thought you may want to see these before we head to dinner."

"See what?"

Josh grabs his ipad and starts to scroll through paparazzi pictures of me with Ethan. Pictures of Ethan with his arms around me at the airport, pictures of Ethan and I holding hands on the plane, pictures of us walking through the airport holding hands and most horrifying, pictures of us wrapped around each other in the pool here at the hotel. Only a couple of hours ago!

Anger starts to bubble in my gut and I can feel it rising to the surface. I am most upset about the pool photos. That was a private, intimate moment that was really special to me and now it has been splashed across the world for everyone to see.

It makes me look cheap, and I don't appreciate it.

" _God Josh_ , how did they get all of those out there so quickly?" I feel sick to my stomach.

"That's what they do. They're vultures. Look, you need to know what they're saying. They're reporting that you're Ethan's latest _flame_. They have your _name_ Ava. They know you're Liv's sister and that you're working on the film. The problem with that is that they may start looking in to you now. Especially if you and Ethan are photographed together again. If there is anything in your past that you don't want to come out, start thinking about it."

I look at him horrified. "There's nothing in my past that could cause any trouble Josh if that's what you mean." I try to keep the anger out of my tone. I feel a little insulted.

"No, no, I don't mean that Ava. You misunderstand me. I'm not worried about Ethan here; he's been dealing with this his whole life. I'm worried about you. I know how they'll hound you now; you need to understand what you're in for. It may be best for you to make sure that you're with someone when you venture out. Don't go alone. You don't want them going at you when you have no-one else with you."

I feel some relief. I didn't want Josh thinking that I could do anything to ruin Ethan's career. He knows me well enough to know that I would never do or say anything that could tarnish things for Ethan or Liv in the press. I'm glad to know that he realises that. He's a sweetie who is just trying to look out for me.

"Josh, I appreciate your concern, but I think you're over-reacting, they wouldn't be interested in me if Ethan wasn't there with me."

"Don't underestimate them Ava. You're the new girl in Ethan's life and that makes you a pay check for them. Any photos, even those of you alone will make them money. Just promise me you'll be careful."

"I promise." I give him a peck on the cheek. "Thanks for showing them to me and giving me a heads up, it means a lot."

Josh smiles and puts his ipad down on the table.

"Is Ethan taking you out before the dinner tonight?" he asks as he looks me over appraisingly.

"Yep. We're heading somewhere for drinks. You wanna' come with?" I ask. I like Josh, he's a sweetie and he has Ethan's best interests at heart.

Mine too it seems.

"Nah, you two go for it. I already bumped in to your sister and Ryan down in the lounge bar as I was coming up here. A few of us are going to have drinks down there before dinner."

"Okay. Well thanks again Josh, as I said, I really appreciate the heads up. You're a good friend."

"You're welcome Ava; I need to look out for my right-hand girl." He gives me a gorgeous smile, grabs his trusty ipad and turns to leave the suite.

As Josh turns the handle to leave, Ethan appears at the door.

"Have fun," Josh says as he pats Ethan on the shoulder and continues in to the hallway.

Ethan turns to look at Josh and then back to me. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing. Josh just wanted to show me some paparazzi photos that have already hit the web of us from today."

"Dammit. Already? Are you okay?"

"Yep, all good."

I don't want those photos to ruin my night. Ethan and I have had such a great day today. He's been attentive and sweet and acting like a guy who adores me, I won't let anything ruin this.

Not even my personal business being splashed across cyberspace for all to see.

I grab my clutch and wrap and ready myself to leave the room. As I take a step forward, Ethan stands in front of me and blocks my way. He places his hands on my hips and pulls me against him.

Hard.

"You look stunning." He bends his head and seals those gorgeous lips over mine, and all thoughts of paparazzi and pictures immediately leave my mind.

He pulls back, too quickly, and hands me a small clear box. Inside is the most stunning coral-coloured flower I've ever seen. I look back at him and smile. "What's this?"

"That is a hibiscus. Every stunning girl in Hawaii needs a hibiscus behind their ear. It's tradition."

_Oh!_

He takes the box from me and opens the little lid, pulling the beautiful flower from it. He places the hibiscus carefully behind my left ear and pins it in place.

"Perfect," he says and leans down to place a light kiss on my lips.

I turn to look at the flower in the hallway mirror. "How did you know what colour I was wearing tonight? This matches my dress perfectly."

"I didn't," he shrugs. "Great minds think alike I guess. C'mon let's go."

"Wait."

I stop him and lean up on my tip-toes to place a soft kiss to his lips. "Thanks for my flower," I say with a smile.

He deepens the kiss before pulling back to take my hand and we leave the Suite. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," he says, not giving anything away. "Don't worry you'll like it."

I know without a shadow of a doubt that wherever he takes me, I'll like it. He could be dragging me down the back alley near the dumpsters and I'd still like it.

As long as he is with me.

I wake to the alarm, alerting me to the fact that it is six o'clock and I need to get up. Josh and I are meeting in the hotel restaurant for breakfast at half past. We have a few things we need to finalise and prepare before shooting commences at eight this morning. We have a full morning on set today. This is one of a few daylight shoots we have while we're here. All other shooting will be done at night.

The majority of the scenes being shot while we are here are between Ethan and Liv. Their characters come to Hawaii for their honeymoon, so most of the scenes are romantic ones. I know this is going to be so weird; watching Ethan and my sister making out and shooting love scenes. A shudder goes down my spine. I guess it could be worst; he could be shooting those scenes with Madeline. I don't even want to entertain that though, so I push it firmly from my mind, never to be thought of again.

I rise to have a shower and prepare myself for the long day ahead. While the warm water wakes me, my thoughts go back to the incredible evening I had last night.

Ethan took me back to his room for drinks prior to dinner. He said that he didn't want me to be worried about any more photographers invading our privacy yesterday. He had arranged for everything to be set up on the patio looking out to the water. He had candles in hurricane lamps surrounding the terraced area and tea light candles all over the table. A waiter was on hand to mix cocktails and serve canapés. It was magical. We talked and kissed and even danced around the terrace, to just the sound of the ocean in the background. We didn't need music, we just needed each other.

The cast and crew dinner was fantastic. We all ate our fill of amazing food, and drank, but not to excess as we all knew we had an early morning today. Mike Sanders, the Director gave a moving speech about how working on a movie forms family bonds and how he was proud of how we all worked as a team. It was an amazing evening.

Dream-like.

How a regular Aussie girl found herself in this situation is beyond me. I need to pinch myself every morning to remind myself that this is real.

Ethan walked me back to the Suite and kissed me senseless at the door before retreating to his room. I know he's trying to take things slowly at my request, but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out, I had to give myself a seriously long cool shower when I got back last night. My skin was in flames. If that's what his kiss can do then I can't imagine what else is in store for me.

I pull on some short denim shorts and a white cotton baby-doll cami. I tie my long hair back into a high ponytail and swipe some gloss over my lips. I grab my messenger bag and flip flops and make sure I have everything - Olivia's script, ipad, iphone, schedule; I think I have it all. I'm just about to make my way out the door when Liv appears in the hallway.

"Morning Sis," she says through half closed eyes.

"Hey Liv. You're up early; you don't need to be on set for another ninety minutes."

She gives me a wicked smile. "Ryan and I have been up for a while Ava. We need coffee." She wiggles her eye brows up and down and laughs at my expression.

Right, enough said. I don't want to know what Liv and Ryan have been up to this fine morning. I can only imagine. Liv shuffles towards the little kitchen in our Suite to put the coffee on.

"I'm out of here Liv, see you on set. I've left your things ready on the hall stand. Don't forget to bring your sunscreen and hat; you're filming outdoors most of the day."

"Okay. Bye," she calls after me.

I make my way down the corridor towards the elevator that will take me down to meet Josh. There are already a few people in the restaurant when I get there. I spot Josh sitting at a table on the terrace, waving me over. He's dressed casually in khaki shorts and a tight grey t-shirt that hugs the very fine muscles that adorn his chest. Chelsea is indeed a lucky girl.

"Morning Josh. Sleep well?"

"Morning. Yes, I did, this place is good for the soul."

"I agree," I say as I put my sunglasses on. The sun is bright over here at all times of the day.

Josh and I place our breakfast orders.

"I miss Chelsea," Josh says as he takes a sip of his coffee. "No one can make my latte the way she can."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what you miss most about her Josh," I say in jest.

We both look at each other and laugh. "You should bring her with us next time we have to do this. I'm sure she could get time off."

"Yeah, maybe I'll do that," he says, as he runs his fingers through his choppy hair.

Josh and I finish breakfast, and then head to the first shooting location. We need to be sure that everything is ready for Liv and Ethan when they get down there. The schedule is really tight while we are in Hawaii and we need to ensure that nothing will delay production.

The first scene today is of Ethan and Liv swimming in the ocean. They're filming a sequence of shots that have no dialogue that can be put together as a montage in the film with the soundtrack playing over it. It's to show all the things that their characters get up to on their honeymoon.

Liv and Ethan arrive and are immediately ushered to make-up and hair. Ethan gives me a wave and a wink as he's pulled towards the make-up tent. He's so damn cute.

After all their primping, they emerge in costume. Olivia looks stunning. They have her in a white bikini with hot pink hibiscus flowers on it. It reminds me of the flower Ethan gave me last night. She has a sheer white wrap tied low on her hips and high wedged sandals on her feet. She could easily be a model. He skin is flawless, tanned and lotioned to look like she is glowing.

Ethan is equally as gorgeous. They have him in black board shorts that have white hibiscus flowers printed on them. Obviously they're going with a theme. His dirty blonde hair has been artfully dishevelled to look like he just rolled out of bed. Those chiselled abs are on show for all to see, and the deep 'V' of muscle that leads in to his shorts is purposely displayed by the low waistband.

I want to lick it, taste it, run my tongue.....

I fan myself with the papers in my hand. It's hot out today, but the heat hasn't affected my temperature as much as seeing Ethan does.

I take a deep clarifying breath as they're directed toward the edge of the ocean where the crew are set up and waiting. Barricades have been erected along the beach to block off the area we are filming in. There are still a lot of people standing on the other side of them eagerly watching what is transpiring. All hoping to get a glimpse of the movie stars and the process that goes in to filming.

Mike is directing Ethan and Liv on what he wants to happen in the scene. Ethan and Liv are both listening intently and discussing what they will do with it. This whole process is so amazing. To think that all the films I've ever seen have been put together in the same way. The average film goer would never even think about how much goes in to just one sixty second scene. I guess that all makes up the magic of the movies.

Josh and I stand off to the side with water, sunscreen, hats and cover ups for Ethan and Liv. We'll need to get them both out of the direct sunlight as much as possible today. It is really hot, and the sun is high in the sky, casting rays across the beach that reflect off the sand.

Mike moves behind the camera and calls for quiet.

Someone yells "Rolling," and Mike calls "Action."

Ethan and Olivia immediately run towards the water, hand in hand, acting like a couple who have just been married and are madly in love. Ethan wraps his arms around Liv and twirls her in the air as she throws her head back and laughs.

Mike calls - "Cut."

He makes his way over to them and they all have a further discussion before Mike returns to the camera again. It takes a total of ninety minutes to get two scenes down. Liv and Ethan must have replayed the run in to the ocean about seven times. Movies may sound glamorous but I can't imagine how onerous it must feel to do a scene over and over and over.

Once Mike is happy he announces that we'll be moving to our next location. Liv comes over and grabs her hat and drink from me.

"Good job Sis. I'm so proud of you." I still can't believe that this is my sister, filming a blockbuster movie. She is so incredible. Olivia pulls me in to a hug. "Thanks," she says.

"Okay guys, _next location_ ," calls the Production Assistant.

We're all shepherded on to waiting golf carts. They convey us further up the beach to where the second crew have set up for the next set of shots. This time Ethan and Liv are being filmed next to a luxurious pool, lying on a large day-bed that has billowing white curtains around the sides. This is one of the scenes that I've been dreading.

Ethan and Liv have to make-out in this scene.

Josh and I make our way over to the tented area where the rest of the crew are waiting. Before I reach the tent I'm grabbed by the upper arm, pulled around to the side, and pushed up against the white canvas. Ethan crushes me to him and wraps his arms around my waist.

"I missed you this morning," he says against my neck before smashing his lips down to meet mine. He tastes minty from toothpaste and delicious. He works his lips over mine before pulling back.

"Just remember that this is acting. I know it'll be weird to watch me making out with Olivia, but we're playing characters, and that's the head space that I'm in when I do this."

"Okay," I reply.

It means a lot to me that he wanted to convey this to me before shooting these scenes. Truth is that it will be weird and very uncomfortable. Knowing that he has acknowledged that makes it a bit easier to swallow. I know that Liv feels weird about it too. Not about kissing Ethan, but about how I will feel about it. We talked about it a few nights ago and I assured her it would be fine.

Ethan drops his head again and kisses me softly, slowly, snaking his tongue with mine and running his hands gently through my hair. He rests his forehead on mine and looks in to my eyes. "That's a real kiss okay? A camera kiss is different. It's staged, choreographed, not at all special, just make-believe."

I nod as I stare in to his eyes and his soft lips push against mine again. "Don't forget," he breathes against my mouth.

"I won't," I say trying to push air back in to my lungs after that kiss.

"I'd better get back, I just wanted to be sure that you would be okay with this," he says cocking his head towards the set. He pecks my lips one last time, releases me and makes to move before turning back. "By the way Ava, I'm taking you out to dinner tonight, just us." He smiles his breathtaking smile and I swoon.

How could one human being be so goddamn good-looking?

_And why is he so interested in me?_

"Damn that was a long day of shooting," Liv says as she reclines on our terrace. Its early evening in Hawaii and we both decided on some sister time. We're sitting out on the sectional wicker sofa and sipping mojitos that we just ordered through room service.

"Are you okay after watching all those scenes today?" Liv asks me warily.

"Of course," I say.

It was weird and a little strange to watch my so-called boyfriend _kissing_ my sister. I'm sure it will haunt my dreams tonight, but I wanted to remain professional, and I certainly don't want to make this more awkward for us all than I have to.

Liv seems happy with my response and moves on to other things. "Madeline is shooting with us tomorrow," she says.

"I know," I say rolling my eyes.

"Just keep a wide berth Sis and she won't even notice you. I'm sure there are a few poor people on the crew that she will focus her claws on instead tomorrow."

I don't want to discuss Madeline so I go for a subject change. "What are you and Ryan up to tonight?"

"Not sure. I'm heading to his Suite in an hour. You?" Liv asks as she sucks her straw in to her mouth and takes another sip of her drink.

"Ethan is taking me to dinner." I can't help the wide smile that covers my face.

Olivia mirrors my smile. "Well, look at my little sister. Here in the States for a couple of weeks and already she's won the heart of one of the most talked about celebrities in the land. Go for it Sis." She winks, drains the rest of her mojito and rises from the chair.

"I'd better shower and get ready to meet Ryan. Have fun." Olivia enters the room and then turns back. "By the way," she says with a cheeky grin, "I think I'll probably stay at Ryan's tonight if you want the Suite to yourself."

I grab one of the throw pillows on the sofa and pitch it at her, hitting her shoulder. She laughs loudly and retreats to her bathroom.

I'm not sure I'm quite there yet, but I know it won't be long before I am.

Each day that I spend with Ethan I find it harder to resist him. It's only a matter of time before my resistance crumbles completely and in all honesty, I'm quite looking forward to the day that happens.

#

# A Real Date

#

"Everything set Josh?"

Josh has been helping me make dinner arrangements for tonight.

Okay - he's more than helped me.

I don't have the first fuckin' clue what to do to arrange a proper date. My dating history has consisted of fuck-me eyes over the top of a beer bottle or shot glass, leading to a quick round of hot sex, before bidding the woman goodnight.

Usually, that involves sneaking out to avoid the usual slew of expletives that come my way when I make it clear that I have no intention of a repeat performance.

I don't know what I'd do without Josh sometimes. He is able to pull strings in a way that no one else can. I know it probably helps to have my name to drop, but still he manages to work miracles on a daily basis and I would be totally lost without his assistance.

I wanted to take Ava somewhere special for our first _official_ date. I know that the paparazzi are out there, but I don't want to stay shut in the Suite again tonight. We're in paradise and I want to take advantage of that.

I'm so attracted to her, and the more time we spend together the more I want her.

Right now I am at desperate stage - Defcon 1.

I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out without taking things to the next level, but I'm trying to be good, just as she asked. I don't know where all this willpower has come from. It's never been in me before, so I can only attribute it to Ava. She obviously brings out the good in me.

"Yep," Josh answers down the phone. "The car is out front waiting. You'll be driven down to the restaurant and they'll wait until you're ready to come back. The entire place has been rented by us, so you'll be alone."

"Thanks man."

"You're welcome, have a great night Ethan."

Ava and I settle in to the back of the car. I take her hand in mine and entwine our fingers, resting them on my thigh.

"Where are we going?" she asks with sparkling eyes.

"Surprise," I answer.

She turns her head to look over the ocean as it passes by the windows. She is stunning. She's wearing a tight-fitting dress that looks like a second skin. Her long legs are tanned from the sun, and her feet are adorned with high black heels. Her long dark hair has been curled and is down tonight, just the way I like it.

The best part - she has my coral coloured hibiscus tucked behind her ear again.

"Nice flower," I comment as I finger one of the soft, silky petals.

She smiles a cheeky smile. "Yeah, some guy gave it to me," she says with a shrug of her tiny shoulders.

I raise my eyebrows, "So I'm just _some guy_ am I?"

She laughs and shakes her head as she squeezes my hand, "No, you're not just _some guy_. You should know that by now."

She looks so serious as she speaks those words, that I swallow past the mile-wide lump that has just formed in my throat. My heart picks up speed and I can feel my hands getting clammy.

I lean forward and place my lips to hers. They are so soft and she tastes like something sweet and alcoholic.

I pull back and lick my lips. "What have you been drinking?"

"Liv and I had a couple of mojitos before we got ready."

"Well you taste great, very fruity."

She blushes and the rosy colour stains her perfect cheeks.

We arrive at the restaurant that I've chosen. It's one of the few restaurants in Waikiki where you can actually dine on the sand. I wanted something romantic and I hope that this will fit the bill. I take Ava's hand and lead her through the main part of the restaurant, which is of course, totally empty.

"Where is everyone?"

"Just us tonight Ava, I've rented the whole place out."

I didn't want any paparazzi or fans bothering us. Although I'm trying not to flaunt my status and wealth in her face, our privacy was more important to me tonight.

"Oh," she says surprised, her eyes growing wide. "You know this is kind of our first official dinner date."

I look at her and nod. I don't usually have to wine and dine chicks to get them where I want to take them. With Ava though, it's different.

_She's_ different.

We make our way through the main area and over the terrace. We keep moving further until we are on the sand. Ava pulls her hand from mine and bends down to remove her high heels.

"I can't walk across the sand with these heels on," she says.

Before she can remove the second shoe I grab her behind the knees and cradle her in my arms. She squeals as I lift her and pull her against me tightly.

"I'll carry you instead. I like the shoes, leave them on." I can't help the growl in my tone, and Ava notices it, her breath hitching slightly through her open mouth.

She smiles and winds her arms around my neck, snuggling her head against my chest. Damn, right now I want to head back to the car and get to the hotel. I keep moving forward and try to think of anything I can to tame the growing bulge in the front of my pants.

She smells incredible, like daisies and hibiscus and the ocean all rolled in to one. It's a heady combination.

We reach a table for two set up near the water's edge. It is laid with crisp white linen, crystal glasses and gleaming silverware. A waiter stands to the side with champagne. The moon is shining, casting a sliver of light across the water that reaches right to the table. I couldn't have planned this any better.

_Josh is definitely getting a raise after this._

I folded Ava an origami flower before I left my room so I lay it on her place setting as a surprise.

"Ethan, this is breathtaking," she says as she takes the champagne offered to her by the waiter.

"I'm glad you like it." I raise my glass to hers and toast, "To us."

She mirrors my sentiment. "To us," she says and takes a sip. "Mmmmm, that's really good."

"Let's sit." I pull Ava's chair back for her and she lowers herself into it as I place a kiss on her forehead. Her beautiful brown eyes follow as I take my seat across form her. She looks down and picks up the flower I folded for her before a grin tips her lips and she winks at me.

"What?" I ask.

"You," she states simply. "These last few days have been amazing Ethan. I'm waiting to wake up. You're nothing like I imagined you to be."

"I'll take that as a compliment Ava. I'm glad that I can dispel some of those rumours that the tabloids print. I'm sure you've seen your fair share."

"Guilty," she says as she lowers her attention to the silverware. "I haven't told you but I do have an addiction to gossip mags. Although, now that I know the lack of truth behind most of their stories, I will re-think that addiction. Not a great hobby to have after studying journalism is it?" She looks up at me through those long dark lashes and gives me a small, guilty smile.

"So are you telling me that you already had the background scoop on me before you even got here?" I tease.

She looks in to my eyes with an adorable blush on those cheeks of hers again. "Well I had an opinion based on some of the things that I had read, and I'm ashamed to say that it wasn't a very good one."

"And now?" I ask, holding my breath.

She smiles sweetly, and picks up her champagne glass. "Now I think you are incredible, and nothing _at all_ like the guy I read about in those magazines." She takes a small sip and holds her glass aloft.

I clink my glass to hers, "Well I'm pleased to hear that."

The waiter arrives with our first course, a seafood tower, containing three layers of prawns, lobster, scallops, and oysters.

"I hope you like seafood?"

"I love it, except the oysters, you can have those." Her little nose turns up in disgust. "Aren't oysters known for their aphrodisiac qualities?" she asks; eyebrows high.

"I think so, but I don't need an aphrodisiac around you Ava. You should know that by now."

She gasps and her little mouth forms an 'O'.

We finish our entrée quickly. The seafood is delectable and the conversation easy. The waiter clears our plates and the trio that I arranged - well _Josh_ arranged for me - starts to play from the terrace. Ava's head whips around to where the music is flowing from and then she stares back at me with a huge smile.

"Did you do that?"

I nod and offer her my hand. "Come and dance with me."

This time she does remove those sexy shoes of hers, placing them on the sand next to the table, before she pads over to me - bare foot. I take her in my arms and hold her close, placing my cheek next to hers and breathing her in.

"You smell incredible."

"So do you," she says as she runs her nose up my neck to my ear. Her warm breath sends a chill snaking down my spine to my toes. I want to keep her talking so I can feel that again.

The guitarist, pianist and singer are doing a slow version of Bruno Mars' _Just the Way You Are_. I asked Josh to let the trio know all of Ava's favourite artists so that they could play a selection of their songs.

Ava lifts her head from its rest on my shoulder and stares straight in to my eyes. Her gaze drops to my lips and I can't help but tilt and drop my head to kiss her.

We continue to move in rhythm to the music on the sand, as our mouths explore each other. Softly and sweetly. Our lips part and brush, as our tongues twirl around one another. My hands are roaming her back, her hips, her hair, I can't get enough. She has hooked her arms underneath mine and curled her hands around my shoulders from the back, holding on tight. Her fingertips are biting in to my flesh, letting me know that her control is wavering.

I love having that influence over her.

" _God_ Ethan," she says breathlessly pulling back. "Keep that up and we won't get through dinner."

"Fine with me," I say as I run my thumb over her plump lower lip, pushing down slightly on the soft flesh.

She laughs and returns her head to my shoulder as the song slows to an end.

"Shall we sit?" I ask, as the waiter arrives with our salad.

Ava nods and takes her seat, blowing a piece of hair off her forehead.

"Can I ask you a question?" she says after finishing a fork-full.

"Of course," I say, as I wipe my mouth with my napkin, "You can ask me anything."

"What does your tattoo mean?" She points towards my arm.

"It's Latin. It translates to _In dreams there is truth_. Nanny Grace always used to say that to me as I was growing up. She encouraged me to always follow my dreams. She said that you had those dreams because that was the path God wanted you to follow, that was your truth, your reason for existence."

"It sounds like Nanny is not only a very important part of your childhood but also a very wise lady."

"Nanny was _the_ most important part of my childhood," I correct her.

She drops her gaze to the table. "I'm sorry that you didn't have the ideal childhood Ethan. I feel sad that your relationship with your mother is not what it should be but I'm so glad that you have Nanny."

"Me too," I smile at her. "Don't feel sad for me Ava, Nanny made sure I was surrounded by lots of love and laughter as I grew up. She may have had to compensate for my lack of parental guidance, but there is not one minute that goes by or one memory with her that I would change. She was everything to me and did everything for me and I am so blessed to have her in my life."

I go for a subject change. "Speaking of tattoos Ava, do you have one?"

She shakes her head side-to-side. "No but I've often thought of getting one. I think I would chicken out though. I'm not big on needles."

"What would you get if you did get one?"

She points to the inside of her left wrist. "I always thought I would get something just here _if_ I ever got one," she stresses. "Just some simple script, maybe with my husband's name, or the date of our wedding, something sentimental like that."

"Sounds perfect." I smile back at her, imagining my name in flowing blank ink on the inner side of her wrist.

_Fuck! Where did that come from?_

As the trio starts to play _Glitter in the Air_ by Pink, our waiter arrives with dessert - chocolate cake. Ava notices the change in music and gives me a sweet smile. It makes me happy to know that she has recognised how much trouble I've gone to for her. This is a beautiful song and Ava is humming along lightly as she takes in the food in front of her.

"I loooove chocolate...." Ava says, licking her lips, "...but I'm so full Ethan. I'm not sure I can fit this in."

"Take a bite and see if you can resist it," I urge.

She takes a small fork full and places the cake in to her mouth, then she closes her eyes and hums in pleasure.

_Holy shit_.

I turn my gaze towards the ocean away from her. I can't look at her when she's doing that without jumping across the table and taking her - right here, right now. My blood has been simmering in my veins ever since that dance, and her sexy little moans are just about doing me in.

Just as I turn back to Ava my phone buzzes with an incoming text. I decide to ignore it to avoid any distractions while I'm enjoying my time with her, but she pushes for me to check it.

"It's Josh," I say to Ava, "he's texted to say that they're heading to the night club back at the hotel tonight. They want us to join them after dinner. I'm happy to stay here with you if you prefer. This is your night Ava, so I'll go with whatever you want to do."

"Sure. Let's do it. A night club sounds fun."

"I'm not ready to share you yet, but I'm happy to head there once we've finished our dinner together."

She smiles at me and takes my hand across the table. She rubs her thumb in little circles across my palm. "Ethan, thank you for a gorgeous dinner. This is the _best first date_ I have ever had."

My insides warm with her words. Seeing that smile on her face and knowing that I am responsible for putting it there makes my heart swell.

"Do you want coffee, another drink?" I ask.

Ava shakes her head. "No, but I would love it if we could take a quick walk along the water before we head back to join everyone. I'm so full from dinner and I think a walk would do me some good."

"Let's do it."

We rise from the table as I kiss the back of her hand. Ava leaves her shoes and bag with the waiter and we head out towards the ocean arm-in-arm. The night sky is inky black, but dotted with bright stars. The full moon is low over the water, and its shadow casts a ray of light across the surface to the shore. I have Ava's hand in mine, and I feel such complete contentment at this moment. Something I've not felt for a very long time.

Maybe never.

There are very few people around so we can walk along the shore in relative anonymity. I haven't seen any photographers all evening.

After walking a short way, we turn back. We haven't said a lot to one another because we don't need to. Our silence feels comfortable. We stop before we arrive back to the restaurant and look out over the water. I stand behind Ava and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her back against my chest. She lays her head back against my shoulder and we stand there holding each other, making a deeper connection with every moment that passes.

"Do you like to make sandcastles?" Ava's sweet voice fills the silent air.

"I don't know. I've never done it," I say.

She spins in my arms and looks up at me. She places her palms flat on to my chest. "You've _never_ made a sandcastle before?" she says surprised.

I shake my head. "I've made sand angels, but not sandcastles."

"What's a sand angel?" she asks as she furrows her brow. That adorable wrinkle appears between her eyes and as always, I lean in to kiss it.

"You know, like when you lie on your back in the snow and move your arms and legs out to the sides and back again, it makes an imprint like an angel. I've done that in the sand before."

"I'd like to try that, but not in this dress," she laughs.

"Well I'd like to try and make sandcastles too," I say tapping the tip of her perfect nose.

She looks around on the sand and reaches for a stick lying nearby. "When we were little our favourite thing to do was to write in the sand and then come back the next day to see if the writing had been washed away by the tide. It always inevitably was, but it didn't stop us. It was like Liv and I were trying to beat the universe."

She looks around and grabs a small piece of wood lying on the sand, before handing it to me, and then she walks a few yards away.

"Let's do it," she says, "let's write in the sand."

I watch as she swirls her stick through the grainy sand. She starts by writing my name and then hers. She ends up writing:

Ethan and Ava - Best first date ever!

She then sweeps the stick around the letters in the shape of a huge heart.

It is adorable and so her, and right now I just want to take her in my arms and keep her there forever.

"That won't last forever you know, the water will wash it away once the tide comes in," I say with a smirk, mirroring what she just told me.

Ava places her hands on her hips and stares back at me in the moonlight. "I am well aware of that, thank you _Mr Drake_. Would you rather I carve this in to a tree instead? Make it more permanent?" Her eye brows rise towards the inky sky and a cute, little, crooked smile breaks out on her face. I love her sassy side, teasing me.

I drop my stick and move to Ava in two quick strides, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her up against me.

"Oh, I would like to make it much more permanent Ava. But no, I don't want you to carve that in to a tree instead, I'd rather you carve it into your heart."

She takes a deep breath, eyes wide and smiles, "I think I already have." Her voice is low and breathless but I don't miss what she has just said.

Just like that, she takes my breath away.

#

# Cole

#

This has been the best night I've had in a very long time. Ethan has been so attentive and romantic, and I'm falling for him further and further as the night progresses. The meal we shared was amazing and the music, incredible. The trio played nearly all my favourite songs. My heart feels full. Fuller than it has ever been and it is all thanks to the incredible guy in front of me.

Truthfully, I would have been happy to forgo the nightclub tonight and spend the time back in the Suite with Ethan. I'm so attracted to him and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out without taking this further.

I really want him.

_Badly._

Tonight has been like one long evening of foreplay and I'm ready to move it along.

The nightclub is packed with people and the music pounds a driving rhythm throughout the room. Ethan is recognised as soon as we arrive, so we are ushered back to the VIP area where the rest of the cast and crew are already partying. Ethan has kept hold of my hand since we left the restaurant, and he shows no sign of dropping it, which is perfectly fine with me. I love it when he gets possessive of me. It makes me feel wanted and cherished.

There is a bar specific to the VIP area and a scantily dressed waitress has eagerly made her way over to Ethan to take his order. She pushes out her ample chest and sways her hips as she approaches with a tray held high.

"What would you like Ava?" Ethan asks, deferring to me. The waitress turns her gaze to me and looks me up and down, assessing whether I'm special enough to be on Ethan's arm.

_Bitch!_

I push my annoyance aside.

"Just a beer for me please."

Ethan turns back to the waitress and orders two Coronas with lime. As we move towards the seating area, Olivia comes bounding back from the dance floor with Ryan in tow.

"Hey Sis, how was your date?" she asks, taking in the sight of my hand in Ethan's.

"Great," I reply, smiling back at her.

She wiggles her eyebrows up and down and turns back to Ryan. She tugs his hand and he waves and rolls his eyes at me as she pulls him back to the throng of people on the dance floor. Olivia is a great dancer. She has so much confidence in her body and how she moves. It is hard to take your eyes off her when she is on the dance floor. I have to say, Ryan can hold his own though.

Ethan catches me watching them and grabs my hand as he cocks his head towards the dance floor. I love to dance. I can't think of anything else I would rather do than be in his arms, dancing with him, well maybe one other thing....

The DJ is playing _Sexy Back_ by Justin Timberlake. I adore this song.

Ethan pulls me tightly against his chest and moves me close, bending his legs so his hips are level with mine. His long fingers bite in to the flesh on my hips through the thin fabric of my dress and all I want is more.

I want him to hold me tighter.

I want him to dig his fingers into my hips, my ass, and then run them up my sides.

I just.

Want.

More.

There is an urgency to Ethan's movements too.

He wraps one arm up my back pulling me flush against him. There is not an inch of space between us now. I run my hands up his muscular arms and wind them around his neck, tugging on the hair at his collar. He tilts his head to mine and lowers his sinful mouth, smiling that breathtaking smile as he comes closer.

Then...

Then we kiss like we need oxygen from the other to survive.

Lips - sliding and moulding.

Tongues - dancing and swirling.

He breaks the kiss first and breathes in to my ear. "Stay with me tonight Ava. We don't have to do anything; I just want to wake up with you."

I nod and smile. I don't even hesitate. I want that and more.

Ethan's lips are back on mine, kissing me like he can't get enough. His hand slides over the curve of my ass and squeezes ever so slightly, but enough to leave me wanting more.

A new song begins - Kings of Leon's _Sex on Fire_ , how apt. It's like the DJ can read what is going through my mind.

We continue to dance within the packed confines of the dance floor. This song is a favourite, the whole crowd is singing at the top of their lungs, especially the chorus. The atmosphere is electric. I'm hot and feel sweaty, but I wouldn't move from this dance floor if someone paid me. This is exactly where I want to be.

When the song is over, we head back to the seating area to finish our beers. Josh and Olivia are now on the dance floor, dancing and gyrating to the beat, and Ryan is watching Liv, unable to take his eyes off her. He smiles at me, realising I've caught him staring, and raises his beer towards mine.

Ethan has his arm around my waist protectively while he chats to Mike, the Director. His thumb is caressing my curves through the fabric of my dress and sending tingles firing through all of my nerve endings. All my senses are on alert.

Mike looks my way and asks, "What do you think of Hawaii Ava? This is your first time here right?"

"I love it Mike. Even though it is so far away from home, I understand why Australians make the long journey here. From what I have seen and experienced so far, I never want to leave. It really is paradise."

Ethan smiles a knowing smile and raises my hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. He leans towards my ear, "I don't want to share you anymore, let's get out of here." His words send a flare of excitement through my veins. I can't wait to be alone with him.

"Let me run to the ladies room real quick. I'll be right back."

I gather my bag and head out of the VIP section towards the bathrooms that we passed on the way in to the club. There is a long line so I'm forced to wait. My mind keeps drifting over the amazing evening that I've just enjoyed with Ethan. We have been so comfortable with one another. He's opened up to me and I know that I'm falling hard for him. That part scares me. I didn't want to open my heart to anyone over here, especially not him, but I can't resist that pull.

I can't resist _him_.

As I wash my hands and re-apply my lipstick, I know that I'm so ready to be with him, I want all of him and I don't want to wait any longer. I throw my lipstick back in to my purse and head out of the bathroom, eager to start the next part of the evening.

As I round the corner I bang in to a hard chest. My face is smooshed in to the linen, and a familiar scent fills my senses. I look up to apologise when my eyes lock on to a pair of deep green ones.

These are eyes that I know well.

Very well.

I spent two years looking in to them.

_What the hell is Cole doing here?_

_Shit!_

My heart skips a beat, but not in a good way. I _cannot_ believe that he is here. I've travelled half way across the world to leave that part of my life behind and here it is standing in front of me.

I feel sick.

" _Ava_?" Cole says in his deep gravelly voice, shock showing on his face.

" _Cole_ , what on earth are you doing here?" I can't hide my bewilderment.

"I'm here for a trade show for work. Me and a few of the guys from the office have five days here. What about you? I thought you were working with Olivia in LA."

"Yeah I am. We're here filming scenes for the movie for a week." I am speechless. I shake my head. "Sorry Cole, I'm just really shocked to see you here in Hawaii."

"Me too," he says with a smile. He takes my hand in his and looks down on me, his eyes softening. "Ava I've really missed you. I won't lie; I'm pumped to be standing in front of you right now."

_Oh God, this is the last thing I need_.

I'm not going back there with Cole and I want my night to move ahead with Ethan. Someone up there is not looking out for me right now.

I shake my head. "Cole, please don't go there. You know that there's no going back for me. You hurt me too badly."

He squeezes my hand and looks at me with pleading eyes, taking a step closer to me and moving me against the opposite wall. "Ava _please_. Just give me a chance to talk this out. I need to explain to you where my head was at, and why I did what I did. I know how badly I hurt you, I know I fucked up, but Ava I never stopped loving you. Not for one minute."

I shake my head at Cole, just as he closes the remaining distance and pulls me to his chest, holding me tight. I keep my arms down by my side. I don't want to lead him on or make him think that he is getting anywhere with this.

"God I've missed you so much," he says as he lowers his face and places a kiss behind my ear right where he knows I like it.

I push against his chest hard and move myself away from him, just as I see Ethan coming up behind us. His face is red, and the look of fury on it does not go unnoticed by me. I need to place some distance between myself and Cole before Ethan rips him apart. He takes two quick strides before he is at my side, lacing his arm protectively around my waist, staking his claim. I can see his hands fisting at his side and a light shudder goes through his body. It is taking all his control to remain at my side, rather than getting in to Cole's face.

"What's going on Ava?" he asks as he continues to eye Cole up and down.

There is hurt mixed in with the angered tone of his voice, and it makes my heart ache. I don't want him to look and sound like that. The shutters have come down and he is in protective mode.

I fix my voice in to a matter-of-fact tone and make the introductions. "Ethan this is Cole, my ex-boyfriend. He's in Hawaii for work. Cole this is Ethan Drake."

"I know who _he_ is," Cole says with venom in his voice, waving his hand dismissively towards Ethan. Cole's eyes fix on the arm that Ethan has curled around me and his jaw ticks.

Cole moves to take my hand and pull me out of Ethan's grasp but I pull my hand back before he has the chance to get a good grip.

"Cole, we were just leaving. It was nice to see you again," I say. I need to get away from him and try to salvage my evening with Ethan.

"Wait Ava, can I talk to you for a moment before you go? Alone?" Cole pleads. I look from Cole to Ethan. Cole doesn't look like he is going to let this go and I need him to understand that we're over; that there's no going back for me. I sigh loudly and turn to Ethan. I place my palms on the hard planes of his chest and look up at him through my lashes.

"Do you mind if I give him a minute?"

He doesn't look happy but he steps aside with a loud sigh, leaning on the opposite wall to give us privacy, but staying close enough to protect me if the need arises. He crosses his arms and ankles taking a defensive stance.

Cole lowers his voice and tilts his head closer to mine so Ethan can't hear him. "I need another chance with you Ava. I need you to hear me out. _Please_."

"Cole, there'll be no second chance for us. I'm not interested. I don't need to hear you out because I've put the demons to rest. It's over. I've moved on."

"So are you with him now?" Cole says nudging his head towards Ethan who continues to watch us closely.

"That is none of your business."

"Is that why you left me? You wanted a chance with someone famous, someone rich....get your photo in the papers Ava? I know how you love those glossy magazines," he says with a nasty tone in his voice.

"I don't need to hear this from you and it is none of your business who I'm seeing. Let the past stay where it is and move on."

I turn to make my way to Ethan when Cole grabs me around the upper arm and pulls me back towards him. His eyes are full of pain. " _Please_ Ava. Please just one conversation, it's all I'm asking." I look in to those green eyes that used to belong to the person that was my reason for living and feel my heart constrict. I don't feel the same way about Cole as I did when we were together, he's hurt me too many times for that, but I do feel like he is unfinished business.

"Please Ava?" he asks again. "Have breakfast with me. Just a quick breakfast and then we can go our seperate ways if that's what you want."

He's worn my resistance down like he always does. "Fine. One breakfast, that's it. Tomorrow morning in the hotel restaurant downstairs at seven."

"Thank you," Cole pulls me back against his chest and I inhale his scent - a scent that is so familiar to me, but I would take Ethan's over this any day. I don't want to get too close to him.

He's comfortable.

He's familiar.

All those things that I usually like in my life.

I don't want him to suck me back in to his world, so I pull back and turn to find Ethan, but he is no longer standing to the side waiting for me.

I head back to the VIP area but I can't see him anywhere. I spy Josh in the corner, "Josh, where's Ethan?"

"He left Ava, I thought you knew."

"Where did he go?"

Josh shrugs, "Back to his room I guess."

_Damn Cole!_

Ethan and I were having the best night and now he's gone and left me. I hurry out of the club and make my way towards Ethan's Suite, hoping that he is not angry with me and wanting to explain what just happened.

I knock a number of times, but there is no answer.

_Shit!_

I pull my phone out of my purse and text him:

**Where r u? Plse let me explain.**

I knock on the door to Ethan's room again, but there is still no answer. I head back towards my room feeling dejected and disappointed. My wonderful evening just got derailed. I don't know where Ethan is and I want to explain. I want to spend the night with _him_.

I want to hold _him_ and kiss _him_ and cherish _him_.

Just him.

Seeing Cole has made me realise that Ethan is what I want and now I need to find him and let him know.

I need to make this right!

But I need to find him first.

#

I don't know what happened to me last night, but seeing Ava in the arms of her ex sent me in to a fuckin' tail spin. I couldn't stand there and watch it happen.

We had the most amazing night together and our connection was getting much stronger. I couldn't just watch them embracing and touching, so I fled. If there was ever any question about how much Ava was under my skin, I think that reaction answered it. It made me feel sick, like that bastard was touching what was mine, and I panicked.

I took myself off to the lobby bar and hid in a corner where I could down a few drinks and hide from the women that were circling. I didn't know how to react, so I thought that drinking would drown it all out of my head. I've never felt that level of jealousy before, and I was scared I was going to rip his fucking arms off if he went near her again.

Now that it's morning, I feel like shit. Ava texted last night and I didn't answer because I honestly don't know what to say. I spent the night trying to decide whether or not to pursue this with her, I hate feeling so out of control of my emotions. I've spent my whole life keeping people at arm's length so that I don't have to feel this way.

Then my heart comes in to play and I know that I'm already in too far, too deep, to turn away from her.

The truth is that I'm terrified that now her ex is back in her life, she is going to change her mind about us. After the night we had, that would crush me. I don't put myself out there, and now that I have, it would be just my luck for it to go fuckin' south before it begins.

I sound so pathetic.

Like my balls have disappeared; but I can't help it.

I want her.

I've been awake for over an hour and it is only seven in the morning. I decide to get up and go for a run on the beach. Running always helps me clear my head. I throw on my jogging shorts, tank top, cap and runners, and grab my ipod. I need music to think to. I scroll through to my playlists and decide on _Maroon 5_.

I make my way through the hotel lobby and out through the back, straight on to the sand. The sun is really bright in the sky this morning, and the air is already warm, so I figure that a bottle of water would be a good investment before I head down the beach.

I make my way over to the restaurant in the lobby to get a bottle and see Ava sitting with her douchebag ex-boyfriend over breakfast. They're sitting at a booth towards the back of the restaurant talking animatedly over their cereal.

Ava looks amazing as always.

She has her long, dark hair pulled up in to a messy bun on top of her head. I love it when she wears it like that. _Hell_ , I love her hair no matter how she wears it. She has a white tank top on and black rimmed glasses. I've never seen those on her before, they look fucking incredible on her face, framing those stunning deep brown eyes.

Her ex has obviously weaselled his way back in to her life.

_Holy Shit_ , I hope he didn't spend the night with her. I mean they were together when I left them and they're still together now, what other conclusion can I come to?

I feel like my stomach just bottomed out.

I want to run, but something is keeping my feet flat to the floor. It's like a car crash that I don't want to see, but I can't tear my eyes from it. Ava lifts her head to motion for the waiter and catches my eye. Her face falls when we make eye contact.

That sets me in motion. I turn on my heel and make my way for the beach; I need to get away from her with him. I can hear Ava calling my name from behind me but I don't want to speak to her right now. I push all thoughts of her from my head, turn up the volume on my ipod and hit my stride, running away from the pain that has somehow burrowed its way into my chest.

I would never have imagined that I would fall for someone so quickly, so indelibly. It just goes so far against my character. But there is something so different about Ava. It's like we've known each other forever. We're comfortable with one another. When I'm with her, it's like that is where I'm supposed to be. Like all moments prior to now were leading me to her.

All the women that I've been with have paved the way to her and I realise that all those meaningless encounters existed so that when the right person came along, I would know it one hundred percent, unequivocally.

And it's her!

I have no doubt.

With all the thinking I've been doing since last night I'm slowly realising that I don't want to let her go. I don't want to leave things where they are because we haven't even had a chance to explore being together yet.

I need to fuckin' man-up.

I need to speak to her.

_Now!_

I turn back towards the hotel and run full speed. I need to speak with her before we commence production today, I don't want to leave anything unresolved. I arrive back at the restaurant but she is nowhere to be seen. I turn towards the elevators to make my way to her Suite and my phone buzzes with a text message from her.

**Ethan, please call me. We need to talk. x**

I start to type back, telling her I'm on my way to her room, when my phone buzzes with an incoming call from Joshua.

"Hey Josh."

"Ethan where are you?" Josh sounds really stressed out this morning.

"Just waiting for an elevator. On my way to see Ava. Why?"

"Can you come to my room first? I need to talk to you, it's urgent."

"On my way."

I hit the end button on the screen of my phone and board the elevator. I stand at the back of the car watching the numbers of each floor illuminating the screen as we slowly climb to Josh's floor.

When I exit, Josh is standing waiting for me in the hallway near the elevators. He quickly ushers me in to his room.

"Josh, what the hell is going on?"

"I've just had a call from the doctor at Nanny Grace's nursing home. They tried calling your cell phone first..."

My knees feel like they're about to give way underneath me. I put my hand out to steady myself against the wall. I check my phone quickly, and sure enough I have a missed call.

_Fuck, when did that come through?_

"Maybe you should sit down," Josh suggests.

I shake my head, "No, tell me what's going on." My voice sounds panicked, but I can't help it. I'm scared of what he is about to say.

"Ethan, Nanny has been taken to hospital. They think she suffered a stroke last night while she was sleeping. They couldn't wake her this morning so they called an ambulance and took her straight in. They're running tests but they won't know the severity of the stroke until she wakes up."

I can't breathe.

My chest hurts and a bubble of nausea is rising from my stomach.

Josh urges me towards a chair and I fall in to it, sitting forward with my elbows on my knees, trying to coax air in to my lungs. I run my hands back through my hair and raise my head. Josh looks scared, like he doesn't know what to do to fix this. I hate seeing him look like that. It means that the turmoil I feel, he feels too. This is serious.

"I've booked you on a flight back to LA at eleven this morning. I've already contacted Mike. They're going to rework some of the scenes that were due to be shot so that they cover Olivia and Madeline's first. Once we know what is going on with Nanny we can either get you back here, or Mike said he can shoot with the green screen back in LA if we have to."

"Thank you Josh." My voice sounds distant and small.

_Scared._

_Terrified._

I don't know what else to say to him.

"I've already been to your room and packed for you. You need to go back and change; the car will be here to collect you in thirty minutes."

I stand on unsteady legs and shake Josh's hand. "I don't know what I'd do without you Josh."

He pulls me in to a hug and pats my back.

He shakes his head and says, "Go on, get back to your room. I've left all your travel arrangements in there for you. Make sure you have your passport. I'll call you later this evening to see how everything is and to arrange your schedule after today. If you decide not to come back to Hawaii, then I'll follow you home tomorrow. I just need to wrap up a few things here first."

I nod and head robotically toward my Suite, wondering what the hell I'm going to face when I get home. I don't know what to do and I don't know who to call. Thoughts of my mother hover in my mind. I should call her, but I couldn't stand the media circus that she may bring to the hospital. I decide to wait and see how Nanny is first, before contacting her. I could call Grayson, he'd meet me at the hospital, but in truth all I really want right now is Ava.

I want her with me, I want her calming influence to envelope me and tell me that this is all going to be okay.

I slide the key card into the door and rip my clothes off in the hallway as I make my way to the bathroom. I have a short window of time to shower, change and make it to the airport.

My mind swirls with all my memories of Nanny. She's been my steady influence for as long as I can remember. I've never really thought about what life would be like without her in it. Now that the grim possibility of that is facing me, I can't even entertain the thought; it's too terrifying to me. I need to get back home and see her, touch her, tell her that I'm there, and see what we can do to make this better.

I towel off and dress in comfortable clothes for the flight home, just jeans, t-shirt and ever present sunglasses, so that the waiting paparazzi don't see me. I don't want them following me all the way to Nanny. I run some styling gel through my hair and head back to the main part of the Suite.

Josh is a fucking wonder.

He has all my flight details sitting on top of my packed suitcase. He's even packed my lap top and ipad so I'm ready to go.

I look out the large windows that face the ocean. It's a glorious day. There are people everywhere on the beach, running, tanning, swimming and enjoying the Hawaiian hospitality. I wish I was as carefree, I wish that my day hadn't started out the way it had. Hell, I wish that I could have a do-over of the last twenty four hours. Well at least from the part that Ava's ex showed up.

Prior to that, life was good.

It's amazing how one day you can wake up feeling on top of the world, and the next day something can happen that turns your entire life upside down.

I take a deep breath, grab my luggage and leave my room.

I'm terrified of the journey ahead that is going to lead me to Nanny. I start to pray silently that all will be okay. I don't do that often so I hope God hasn't forgotten me.

_Please God, let Nanny be okay!_

#

# Declarations

#

Ethan is ignoring me.

He didn't answer my text last night and he ran off on me this morning when I tried to stop him. My heart is pounding, but not in the way I want it to. I want it to be pounding because he is so near and touching me. I want it to be pounding because of all the feelings that he brings to the surface when I'm with him.

I don't want it to be pounding from the sick feeling that I have in my gut.

I had to endure a long breakfast with Cole this morning. He's definitely playing the _I want you back_ card.

A couple of months ago, I may have entertained the idea, now, not so much.

He swore to me that he had never cheated prior to the couple of times that I caught him out. He swears that he would never do it again, if I would just take him back. Apparently he still loves me and sees us together forever - kids, marriage - all of that.

Cole is comfortable to me, and I can't deny that a tiny part of my heart was happy to hear him say all those things to me this morning. I wanted him to say those things to me when we were together. Unfortunately for him, the betrayal and hurt that he caused me can't be undone. It permanently damaged the relationship for me, I can't get past it.

We left things amicably. He said he may come out to the States in a few months for a holiday. Well, a boy's trip to Vegas to be exact. He asked if he could contact me then, and I said he could. I would like to think that after everything we could stay friends, but we'll have to see how that goes. I feel like I have a little bit of closure now. I think that hearing him say all those things made me realise that he did love me, and I was important to him.

When you catch someone cheating on you, it makes you feel worthless, like you're not important. Like you can be easily discarded.

I don't feel like that now.

It doesn't change the outcome though.

All of that aside, my mind and my heart can't stop thinking about Ethan. I barely slept last night wondering why he hadn't contacted me after my text. I almost had to strap myself to the bed to keep from going to his Suite in the middle of the night, demanding that he hear me out.

When I saw him this morning he looked delicious.

Running shorts, tank top, cap.

Those strong arms and powerful legs on display.

As soon as my eyes met his, I forgot where I was. Cole was talking but I wasn't registering anything he was saying to me. I just needed to get to Ethan.

I need to talk to him before our schedule starts today, so I'm making my way to his Suite.

There is no answer. I knock for a while, so I assume that he must still be out running. I round the corner to head to the elevators when Josh approaches me. He has that same stressed look on his face that he had the day he arrived to the Studio late, complaining about the LA traffic.

"Ava, I've been looking everywhere for you. I've tried your cell phone too," he says breathlessly.

I reach down to check my bag and realise that I've left my phone charging in the Suite.

"Sorry Josh. My phone is on charge. What's up?"

"Ava, its Nanny Grace....."

_Oh. God. No!_

I feel the blood rushing out of my face, via my ears and in to my head, causing an immediate searing headache.

_Ethan!_

"I got a call this morning; they think she suffered a stroke in her sleep last night. They're doing tests. We don't have a prognosis yet, but I booked Ethan on the first flight I could get him out. He heads back to LA at eleven."

"Shit Josh, I need to be with him. Where is he now?"

"The driver picked him up about fifteen minutes ago; he's on his way to the airport."

I start to panic and realise that I need to remain calm. "Josh, can you get me on that flight?"

"I can try."

"Am I leaving you in a difficult position if I go back? Are you able to take over Liv's schedule for me until we know what's going on with Nanny?"

"Of course."

I grab Josh and give him a tight hug. "I don't know what I'd do without you. Thank you."

"Head back to your Suite. Pack and let Olivia know what's going on. I'll see what I can do and meet you there in fifteen minutes. Be quick Ava, if I can get you on the same flight you'll need to leave immediately."

I turn and run back towards my room, hoping Josh can work one of his miracles.

It's funny how time can change so many things.

Days ago I was here at the same airport feeling blissfully happy, and so excited about having time with Ethan in Hawaii. Now I'm here frantically getting through security so I can make my way to him. The airport that held so much promise on my arrival now holds so much dread. The bad memories always seem to erase the good.

Josh has given me instructions to make my way to the VIP Lounge. Ethan should still be there. I don't know how Josh did it, but he got me on the flight and sitting next to Ethan. He sure knows how to pull strings. Ethan has no idea I'm on my way because none of us can get through to his cell.

I enter the VIP Lounge and stand at the Reception desk. A very well groomed lady in a smart navy suit gives me the once over and asks for my name. I explain who I am and am ushered through to the back of the Lounge.

I search frantically for Ethan. It's really busy and there are a lot of people in here. I can't find him anywhere. I drag my carry-on case behind me and start to weave my way through tourists, businessmen and families, all of whom are eagerly awaiting flights home or to new destinations. I search face after face, and I can't find him. I feel like crying, but I know that he has to be here somewhere.

I make my way past the buffet of food that is being devoured by hungry passengers and I spot him sitting in a bucket chair near the windows in the far corner. He is gazing out at the tarmac, staring at the planes and the activity below. His face looks drawn, and his eyes are displaying every ounce of pain that his heart is feeling.

I wheel my luggage over and stop in front of him. He looks up and in that moment, my heart breaks for him. He looks like his entire world has come crashing down on him. Before I can say a word he stands and pulls me tight to his chest. He buries his face in my neck and I can feel his body shuddering against mine. He exhales a loud breath and says, "Ava, thank God you're here."

I hug him back with every fibre of my being. I want to try and convey all the hurt I'm feeling _for_ him, and acknowledge all the hurt that he is feeling. I pull back and lean in to give him a kiss on the lips. "Ethan, I'm so sorry."

He pulls a chair over for me and sits back down taking my hand in his.

"How did you get here?"

"Josh," I state. No more explanation is needed.

"He's amazing," Ethan says.

"He is."

"What about Liv? She needs you."

"You need me more Ethan. Josh will take care of Liv for me."

I place my hand on his cheek and he leans in to my touch, closing his eyes and letting out another shaky breath.

"Have you eaten? Can I grab you something?"

Ethan shakes his head and opens his eyes. "I'm not hungry."

"Okay." I don't want to push him.

"God Ava, what am I going to do if she doesn't wake up? What will I do if she doesn't.... make it?"

The tortured look on Ethan's face is heartbreaking.

I place my hands on either side of his face and look directly at him. "Listen to me. Nanny will be fine, she's a fighter. Stop worrying until we get to the hospital and find out what's going on. You'll make yourself sick before we get there. I'm here with you, we'll do this together."

He looks in to my eyes and I see so much emotion reflected back at me; hurt, fear, devastation, courage, heat, and dare I say it - love.

He's looking at me like I'm the oxygen that his lungs are craving. It's intense and beautiful at the same time. Everything I see in his eyes, I feel in my heart.

He blinks and that hurt look comes back to his face. " _Shit_ Ava, when I saw you this morning, I thought that motherfucker had spent the night with you, I thought you were done with me, with us."

"What?" I can't believe Ethan could even think that after the night we had last night. "Ethan. Cole is my past. I'm not looking back. He felt like unfinished business, so I finished it. I was surprised to see him here, that's all. He begged me to talk to him so I agreed to breakfast this morning. I didn't want to talk to him last night, because I didn't want anything to ruin the best date I have ever had in my entire life. I was gutted when I turned around and you were gone."

"The best date ever hey?" Ethan asks, a small smile ghosting his lips.

I nod.

His eyebrows pull together and he frowns. "I couldn't handle watching you with him. You both seemed so natural together and I felt threatened. I needed to get away from him before I hit him."

My face breaks out in to a smile and I grab Ethan's hand.

"Ethan, I'm not going anywhere, and there is certainly no need for you to rough Cole up. He's gone. I told him that I'm not interested in getting back with him. End of story."

Ethan's eyes darken. "So he wanted you back?"

"Yes he did. I made it very clear that would not be happening. Look Ethan, this thing that we have going on is important to me. I feel more natural when I'm with you than I ever did when I was with Cole. That means something to me. I wouldn't just throw it away because Cole showed up. "

He rubs circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. "Ava, all I know is that when Josh told me what had happened to Nanny, I wanted you. I needed you. I knew you would be the only person that could talk me around and calm me down. I need you Ava, so fucking much."

He pulls me towards him so I'm seated across his lap, and holds me tighter than he ever has before. I don't talk; I just hold him back and give him silent comfort.

A moment later we are interrupted by a flight attendant.

"Mr Drake, Ms Lucas, I'm here to escort you to your flight. Please follow me."

Ethan and I stand and retrieve our hand luggage. He reaches back to grab my hand and we follow the flight attendant to board the plane.

This is going to be the longest flight in history. I worry about what is waiting for us at the other end and I silently hope and pray that Nanny Grace is going to be alright.

I'm not sure Ethan would survive any other outcome.

#

I don't know what I would've done if Ava had not come back to LA with me. The flight seemed to take an eternity, but with Ava by my side, I got through it. Just her touch calms me. It's like she's some secret drug that runs through my nervous system, leaving tranquillity in its wake.

I'm so scared to see Nanny, but now that we are on the drive from the airport to the hospital, I just need to get to her. The pace seems pain stakingly slow due to the LA traffic.

Ava has not let go of my hand since we left Hawaii, well except of course when we had to eat and use the bathroom. Otherwise she's been offering me comfort the entire way. She must sense the tension that is slowing seeping back through my veins as we near closer to the hospital. I feel like my muscles are locking up tight like a rope that's being stretched to capacity.

"Ethan, breathe, it will be alright. Nanny is a fighter - remember?"

She gives me a small reassuring smile, squeezes my hand and returns her gaze to the passenger-side window.

As Miranda, our Studio driver, pulls the vehicle up at the entrance, I suddenly feel like I can't go in there. It's like a full-blown panic attack is burrowing its way from my stomach to my throat. I start to take very deep breaths and try to calm myself. I need to hold it together for Nanny.

For Ava.

For me.

"I'll return your luggage to your home Mr Drake."

"Thanks Miranda. I appreciate that. Please take Ava's luggage back to my place too. We can get it from there later this evening."

"Yes Sir."

I tip Miranda and take Ava's hand as we make our way through the sterile entrance that will lead me to Nanny. My nose is assaulted by the smell of disinfectant that always accompanies hospitals. I hate it. We head to the bank of elevators in the lobby and push the call button waiting for it to arrive and take me to see the only member of my family that means anything to me.

_Please God, let her be okay!_

_Please God, let her be okay!_

Once we reach the fourth floor, I turn left out of the elevator, following the instructions that Josh gave me. We reach a large oval shaped desk that looks to be the Nurse's Station. I ring the bell and wait. A large woman with grey hair and blue scrubs approaches us.

"Good Afternoon, can I assist you?" she says kindly.

"I'm here for Grace Martin. I'm Ethan Drake, her next of kin. She was brought in last night following a stroke." Panic rises in my throat when I say that out loud. It makes it all seem so much more real.

"Of course Mr Drake, we've been expecting you. Wait one moment please and I'll call Doctor Reid, he'll be able to update you on Grace's situation. Just take a seat over there."

We turn to take a seat on the black plastic chairs that line the wall. They're uncomfortable and ugly, and I always wonder why hospitals don't have nicer chairs available for those who wait. Most people end up sitting in those chairs for a very long time waiting for news on their loved ones; you'd think that they would make them as soft as marshmallows.

I hold tight to Ava's hand as we take our seats. Her brow is creased and she looks as concerned as I feel. I lean forward and kiss her cheek.

"Thank you for being with me."

"There's nowhere else I would want to be right now Ethan. You need me, I'm here."

"I can't live without her Ava, she's all I have," I whisper.

Ava turns her gaze on me, and with a look of defiance she says "That's where you're wrong Ethan. You have me too now; you'll always have me, no matter what."

In that moment, in this hospital, while waiting to hear of the fate of one of the most important people in my life, my heart fills.

To capacity.

How can I have such deep feelings of despair over Nanny and such overwhelming feelings of fulfilment from Ava's words at the same time?

The two feelings totally contradict one another, yet my heart is brimming from both of them. It's like I would not be able to endure the pain of what is happening to Nanny without Ava's sweetness balancing it out.

_How did I ever survive without this girl?_

As my heart swells further and feelings of adoration fill my mind, I come to a frightening realisation.

I think this is love.

I think this is what love is supposed to be like.

I've never been in love before, but I'm not stupid, and I'm sure that's what I'm experiencing.

I feel terrified.

I feel exhilarated.

_Holy shit!_

_I'm in love with Ava._

I know we've only known each other for such a short period of time. We've hardly even had a chance to date, but it feels like she is my other half, my missing puzzle piece. Sitting here right now, I know without any doubt that she is the person that my soul has been looking for, without me consciously knowing it.

With that realisation, comes a whole new sense of calm that suddenly engulfs me. I know without any doubt that as long as she is with me, I will be okay.

I.Will.Be.Okay.

#

# Bliss and sorrow

#

I hear footsteps approaching from behind me and turn expecting to see the doctor, but it's actually Grayson striding towards us.

"I'm so sorry man; I came as soon as I could, how is she?"

Grayson leans down and gives me a one armed guy-hug, patting me on the back when he is finished.

"How did you know I was here Gray?"

He nods towards Ava. "Ava called me, told me you were on your way back from Hawaii and what had happened."

I look to Ava and she shrugs.

"I figured the more support you had the better." I bring her hand to my mouth and brush a kiss across her knuckles.

Grayson bends and gives Ava a hug. "How are you Ava?"

"I'm good Grayson, thanks for coming." She gives him a smile but I can see the strain behind her eyes.

Gray takes the seat on the other side of me and we all settle in to wait for the doctor to see us.

"You're a good friend Gray," I say nudging his shoulder with mine.

"Yeah, yeah I know," he says with a grin.

After what feels like an eternity of sitting in silence, but in reality is probably only about fifteen minutes, the doctor finally approaches.

"Mr Drake?" I stand and the doctor shakes my hand.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Reid, I've been treating Grace. Would you like to follow me and we can talk somewhere more private?"

Ava and Grayson stand and we start to follow the doctor.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he says, "only family is allowed past this point. Your friends will need to wait out here for you."

"Doctor, these two are family. They're all the family that I have, and Nanny too."

Doctor Reid furrows his brow. "Okay, I'll make an exception, but you'll only be able to go in and see Grace one at a time."

I nod as I take Ava's hand, lacing our fingers together, and the three of us start to walk the length of the horrible white corridor with the ugly strip lighting, and disinfectant smell.

The doctor ushers us in to a small office and offers us a seat.

"Grace suffered a stroke in her sleep. We won't be able to ascertain the extent of the damage that it may have caused until she wakes up. The side effects will differ depending on which part of the brain she suffered the stroke in, and how big it was."

My brain feels fried as the words leave his mouth and all I really want to ask is if she's going to get through it, but I'm too scared that his answer may be - _No_.

The doctor's voice weaves back in to my conscience, "......a stroke on the right side of the brain generally affects the left side of the body and vice versa. Grace will need ongoing care and medical attention......"

I am listening and taking in the words, but I feel like my mind has escaped my body. I don't want to hear any of this in relation to Nanny.

My special, beautiful, kind-hearted Nanny, who has given everything to me.

I start to focus on a tile on the roof that is split in two. I wonder how long it will hold without being repaired. I shift my focus to the window and watch a small dark bird trying to perch on the too-narrow ledge.

While my sight is occupied, my mind wanders to Nanny. I'm worried that she won't be her normal cheeky self. I'm worried that she won't be able to talk to me when she wakes up. I'm worried that she won't be able to move her arms, or hug me. I'm worried that the Nanny that I know and love won't be there anymore... at all.

Ava must be able to sense my withdrawal, because she squeezes my hand slightly and gives me a small smile, trying to bring my focus back to Doctor Reid.

"Do you have any questions?" he asks.

"When can I see her?"

"You can see her now, just sit with her and talk to her. Remember, only one at a time."

The doctor stands, moving towards the door. He turns to Ava and Grayson and directs them both back to the uncomfortable plastic chairs that we sat in when we first arrived. He then asks me to follow him.

My feet won't move from the floor, and I'm frozen still.

My mind is telling me to follow him, but my body is terrified of what I will see when I do.

Ava turns to me and on tip toes places a light kiss on my lips. "Go, she needs you, and you'll be fine."

I look in to her big brown eyes and wish that I could just stay here with her, I don't want anything to change and I know that as soon as I see Nanny, everything will be different.

Grayson claps me on the back and says, "We'll be here waiting for you E."

I nod and slowly command my feet to move, following the doctor down the corridor, all the while praying to God that _my_ Nanny is lying in the bed on the other side of the door.

#

Ethan has been gone for just over an hour and each minute that passes makes me more and more anxious. I'm so worried about him. He seems so out of it. I'm so worried about Nanny too. I don't want her to have lost any of that vibrant personality that makes her who she is.

Grayson and I have been taking turns getting bad coffee - and tea for me - from a vending machine at the end of the hall. The drinks are awful, but at least it is giving us something to do.

"How much longer do you think he'll be?" Grayson asks.

"I'm not sure but I'm so anxious." A light shudder moves through my body.

Gray puts his arms around my shoulders. "Me too. Don't worry Ava, Nanny's strong, if anyone can beat this she can."

I nod. I agree with him, but it doesn't make this any easier to go through.

"Let's focus on something else and take our mind off things. How was Hawaii?"

I turn to Grayson, grateful that he is trying to divert my attention and fill the slow ticking time. "Hawaii was fantastic. Filming went great and Ethan and I had a wonderful time. That was until my ex showed up."

Grayson raises his eyebrows, "Your ex?"

I nod. "Yep, all the way from Australia. He was there for work and I literally bumped in to him, like physically bumped in to him, at the night club we were at. Ethan was less than pleased."

Grayson laughs. "I can imagine. He can be very passionate about things when it comes to you."

" _Really?_ "

He taps his finger to the end of my nose. "Yes _really_. Come on Ava; don't tell me that you can't see how much Ethan likes you. I've never seen him like this with anyone before."

A smile breaks across my face and Grayson grins back at me.

"Don't tell him I told you that, _guy code_ and all."

" _Guy code_?" I smile.

"Yep, guy code, I just broke it. Big time!"

"Well thanks for breaking it and telling me that, I feel the same way about him."

Grayson smiles again showing his perfect teeth. "I'm well aware of that Ava, the two of you can't keep your eyes off one another when you're together, and the rest of us can't help but notice. Seriously though, I'm so glad he has you now. He's relied on himself for way too long. He needs someone to care about in his life. He's got a lot to give Ava, he just doesn't realise it. Be patient with him though, I know him and he'll screw up. He's not good at the whole relationship thing."

"You're a good friend to him Grayson Adams," I smile at him.

Grayson looks down at his hands resting in his lap. "I look out for him because he hasn't had anyone else to do that. He's like a brother to me."

I throw my arm around his shoulder and give him a squeeze. "Well he is very lucky to have you. You mean the world to him."

Trying to lighten the mood I ask, "So when am I going to get back up on stage with you and play that tambourine again?"

He laughs out loud. "You want to do it again? I thought you hated that. If looks could kill then I would have been dead that night!"

"Damn straight I do. I had a blast, once I got in to it."

"Well let's chat to E and see when we can arrange for the two of you to come to a gig. You know Ethan can sing don't you?"

I cock my eye brow and turn to stare at Grayson. "No, that's a talent that he has kept hidden from me so far."

"Well he can, he's got a great voice. Maybe we can get the two of you up together?"

"Maybe we can. Let's see what Ethan thinks."

"Let's see what Ethan thinks about what?" I hear from behind me. Turning I see him striding towards us. Grayson and I stand and Ethan puts his hand straight out, taking mine and pulling me close, tucking me in to his side.

"How is she?"

"She's sedated, so I just sat with her and held her hand. Told her a bit about Hawaii and kept her company. Not much else I can do." Ethan's face looks weary and tired, his features crumbled.

He looks defeated.

"The doctors will call me if there's any change so they suggested that we head home and get some sleep, if that's even possible," he shrugs.

"C'mon you two, I have my car here, I'll take you home." Grayson pulls out his keys and heads towards the elevators. As we wait for the elevator car to arrive, Ethan rubs my back up and down, up and down. It feels like he is drawing comfort from touching me, and I am certainly not complaining.

We step in to the elevator and descend to the ground floor, making our way back to Grayson's car.

He navigates his Mustang through the LA traffic and pulls in to the palatial gates of Ethan's home. I've never actually been inside before. This house intimidates the shit out of me. It's huge and grand, and unlike anything that I've ever been to before.

Ethan must sense my nerves. "You okay?"

I put on my best smile and answer, "Yep." He doesn't need to be worrying about my insecurities at the moment.

Truthfully, I'm terrified of seeing his mother.

She scares me.

After meeting her, I got the distinct impression that she felt I was beneath her and I'm sure she wouldn't be happy to see me here with Ethan.

I _so_ hope she isn't home.

Grayson parks outside a large garage and we all make our way towards the house.

Ethan opens the huge double doors and we enter an enormous foyer with a grand staircase that swirls to the next level. It has a wrought iron and wood balustrade that hugs the staircase as it rises to the sky. Huge chandeliers adorn the ceiling, and large gold-framed paintings cover the walls. Large intricately designed rugs cover the parquetry floors.

This is stunning.

Like something out of an interior design magazine.

Everything is perfect, and everything has its place.

I'm staring wide eyed at the ceiling when Ethan pulls my hand and tugs me to the right. "This way," he says. "My wing of the house is down here."

_His wing!_

_Holy Shit!_

Ethan and Grayson are wandering down the hall with ease, while I'm awestruck. The wealth and luxury of this house - if you can call it that, because it's more like a palace - is unlike anything I've ever seen, and Ethan has _grown up_ in this. To him this is nothing, to me this is surreal.

It only serves to highlight the vast differences between us and when I come to that realisation, something inside my stomach twists.

We turn yet another corner and come to another set of white glossy double doors.

"This is my room," Ethan says nervously and opens the door. He moves aside and gestures for me to enter. This space feels so peaceful. So different to the rest of the house that I've just seen.

I can understand why Ethan still lives here even though he and his mother don't get along.

His room is predominantly white, with dark-wood furniture and silvery-grey accents. The floor and walls are all white, with heavy silver-grey drapes. His bed is a sleigh shape, huge in size. It is adorned with luxurious linen in the same silver and grey pallet, with at least twenty pillows gracing the headboard.

I look up at Ethan, "I take it that you don't make your own bed Ethan?" I raise my eyebrows and smile.

"What makes you say that?" he says mocking offence.

"I can't imagine any guy having the patience to put all those pillows back on to the bed in such an orderly fashion."

"Guilty," he smiles, holding his palms up. "Our Housekeeper - Rosa, makes my bed."

I nod in satisfaction. _I thought so!_

This room feels stylish but warm and lived in. Cosy yet spacious.

Grayson has made himself comfortable on the huge L-shaped black leather sofa that is situated near the large windows that open out to the breathtaking terrace. Looking beyond him, I can see the pool and landscaped gardens.

A large area rug and a huge television define the sitting area of the room.

There is another door to the right of the bed which I can only assume is the bathroom and dressing area.

Ethan is looking at me anxiously, waiting for me to comment. I think he's worried that seeing the opulence of his home will cause me to run to the hills, and in all honesty, a small part of me wants to do just that.

"Ethan this is stunning, just gorgeous." I don't know how to articulate what I'm seeing, it's beyond amazing.

"Thanks. I'm glad you like it. Bathroom is through the door over there if you need it."

I nod and move to sit on the sofa with Grayson. This is all very overwhelming. After the flight and the hospital visit, I suddenly feel exhausted.

Ethan picks up a phone at his bedside and asks for drinks and snacks to be brought down to his room. He looks slightly uncomfortable for having done that. "I don't usually ask the cook to prepare food for me, but today I can't think about doing it myself. He's making pizza for us."

"Thanks," Grayson and I say together.

"So man, how are you holding up?" Grayson asks.

"I'm okay," Ethan says, placing his head back on the sofa and running his hands down his face. "I'm terrified of what will happen when she is fully awake, but I'm trying not to focus on that. The doctor says we have to take it a day at a time."

"Does your mom know what happened?" Grayson asks.

Ethan lifts his head. "Yes, they called her too. She hasn't even been in there to see her yet, let alone called me to see how I'm doing. I've no idea where she is. I'm sure she'll make an appearance at the hospital at some stage though, and it won't be quiet." Ethan's frustration and bitterness is palpable, the whole room feels like it dropped in temperature at the mention of his mother.

Grayson rises from the sofa, "Guys I'm going to leave you both to it."

"Don't you want to stay and have some pizza with us?"

"No, I got places to be. Call me when you get word on Nanny okay?"

"Sure." Ethan stands and pulls Grayson in for a hug. "Thanks Man."

"I'm always here if you need me E."

Grayson bends and gives me a squeeze. "Look after him," he whispers in to my ear.

I look up and nod, giving him a smile. He's such a sweetheart and a really good friend to Ethan. I like him more and more every time I'm with him.

"Later guys," he says.

Grayson walks himself out and Ethan sits back down on the sofa, pulling me on to his lap. He says nothing, but buries his face in the crook of my neck, breathing deeply. I hold him as tight as I can; trying to convey to him that he is not alone in this. We sit like that for a long time, just giving and taking comfort from one another. Too tired to move.

He eventually pulls back and kisses me gently on the lips.

There is more emotion in that one kiss, than any of the hot furious kisses we've shared in the past. "Thank you for being with me. I don't think I would have gotten through this without you and Gray."

"I told you that there was nowhere else I wanted to be Ethan. You're not going through this alone."

He moves towards me again and captures my mouth with his. He kisses me sweetly and slowly, but there is an underlying desperation there this time. His lips start to move more firmly against mine, kissing me as if he has been starving for a taste. His tongue enters my mouth and swirls with mine, dancing and caressing. My insides are churning and my heart feels like it has left my chest and crashed in to his.

I can't get enough of him.

I twirl my fingers through his hair, pulling slightly, which elicits a low groan out of Ethan, unlike anything I've ever heard before. It ignites my blood. He moves me so I'm straddling him, legs either side of his. I can feel his arousal beneath me, and it only serves to heighten mine to a place that I've never been before.

_God, I want him._

Ethan's hands are wandering over every inch of my body, arms, legs, hips, face, hair; it's like he can't get enough and wants to touch every part of me at once. I love it.

I love his desperation for me.

I love that I can affect him like this.

He moves to lie us both down on the sofa, when there is a knock on the door.

" _Damn_ ," he says, as he lowers his forehead to mine. He stares in to my eyes, gorgeous blue, to brown. "That'll be the food."

He rises to grab the door leaving me more turned on than I ever have been. I push my thighs together trying to ease the ache that now lingers there, and run my hands through my hair, trying to tame it.

An older woman enters the room carrying a tray. She's dressed in a grey dress with a pristine white apron over the skirt. He greying hair is pulled back in to a bun and she has the kindest eyes I've ever seen.

"Ava this is our housekeeper Rosa. Rosa this is Ava."

I move forward and shake Rosa's hand after she has deposited the tray on to the coffee table. "Nice to meet you Rosa."

She nods back to me in acknowledgement and turns to leave the room.

"Thanks Rosa," Ethan calls after her.

The pizza looks amazing; Old style Italian with a rustic flair, covered in fresh tomatoes and expensive looking cheese.

Ethan moves to pour us both a drink and turns to me, handing me a glass of beer. His fingers touch mine as I take the glass from him and electricity bolts up my arm and back to the spot between my thighs that I'm trying desperately to control.

_Dammit!_

He looks straight in to my eyes like he can see exactly what his touch is doing to me. "We'll pick up where we left off as soon as we've had something to eat," he smiles wickedly.

_Oh, yes please!_

"Will you stay here with me tonight? I'd be happy just to have you in my arms all night, but we can see how it plays out. Right now I don't want you out of my sight."

_How can I resist that?_

"I'd love to," I answer, smiling at his infectious grin.

A thrill runs through my body from my toes to my core. It's like a lightning bolt running a current around my nervous system. I want him so badly that I can't sit still. How am I supposed to sit here and eat pizza with him, when all I want to do is continue what we started?

He breaks my fantasy, "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," I state unequivocally.

"Will you be honest with me?"

"I will only ever be honest with you - always." I say, wondering where he is going with this.

"Will you tell me about Cole? About your relationship."

_Oh God_. I don't want to be honest with Ethan about this. I don't want to open that can of worms at all.

"Why do you want to know about _that_?" I ask him.

He takes a swig of his beer and finishes chewing his pizza. "I just feel like I need to know."

I take a deep breath and put my pizza down on to the plate in front of me. "Cole and I were together for about two years. He was my first serious boyfriend, although I've had others that didn't last as long. We did everything together."

"How did you know that you loved him?" Ethan asks.

"I can't explain it, I just knew. It's hard to put in to words. Although, as I think I've told you before, I'm not sure that I was completely _in_ love with Cole. I loved him, but I always knew on some unconscious level that he and I were not meant to be forever. He wasn't my _happily ever after_ if there is such a thing."

"How did you find out that he was cheating on you?"

I grimace remembering that morning. "I went to his house one Saturday morning to surprise him with breakfast, and I found him already sitting at the table with a blonde. They were hand in hand, and in their pyjamas, so it wasn't hard to put it all together." I take a deep breath, I hate talking about this. The old wounds somehow never quite close.

"He begged me not to leave, told me it was a one-off and that he was horribly drunk when it happened. I just couldn't get the sight of the two of them sitting at that breakfast table out of my head. It haunted me."

Ethan puts down his pizza and takes my hand. Searching my eyes he says, "I'll never do that to you Ava. I would never cheat on you. Your heart is safe in my hands."

I take a deep shuddering breath, upset with myself for letting everything with Cole still affect me.

"I broke things off with Cole that morning. As it turns out, I then found out from a friend that he had cheated on me previously with another girl. It seems it wasn't a one-off situation after all. I think that hurt me more than anything. Knowing that he had been doing that behind my back and not just on one occasion, it killed my spirit. I was pretty messed up for a while there. Trust is a very big thing in a relationship for me, no trust - no relationship."

Ethan nods his acceptance. "You can trust me Ava. I know that I have a reputation that precedes me, and that you probably think I'm all words and no action; but let me tell you, until I met you I couldn't have cared less who I was with. It was just one meaningless encounter after another." I see him cringe when he says that. "I regret being like that, but I now know that there is more out there for me. You've shown me that. You've made me realise that I want more, and I want that with you. I've never felt this before Ava. I've never wanted someone the way I want you. After all that we've been through today I realise that _I_ _love you_ and I don't want another day to go by without telling you. Today has shown me that life takes its own path and we need to live it fully - every day, every moment. I love you, _unconditionally_."

My heart stops beating.

It slams against my ribs and crashes to my stomach.

I take a deep breath, trying to get it to start beating in a regular rhythm again.

The small part of my heart that I was holding back, keeping in reserve, to try and protect myself, just gave way and made its way to Ethan.

He has my heart.

My whole heart.

#

# Love and Other Things

#

I cup Ethan's cheek with my hand and he leans in to it, closing his eyes with my touch.

"I love you too. I wasn't looking for you but you found me, and I'm so happy that you did. I want to live that life with you, loving you unconditionally and showing you how much I adore you."

I feel the tears as they start to prick my eyes and track down my face. Ethan cups his hands on either side of my jaw and pulls me to him. He swipes the tears away with his thumbs and presses light kisses along the trails until they disappear.

"I want you...." he says breathlessly, as his fingers trace across my skin.

"I'm yours," I reply breathlessly as his fingers skate over my skin.

He places his mouth on to mine and starts to move his glorious lips. My legs turn to jelly, and the butterflies in my stomach take flight. I feel like I may faint if he lets go of me. He picks me up, cradling me as he carries me towards his massive bed.

He lies me down on the centre of the bed and climbs on over me. Hovering above me, he looks in to my eyes. "I love you Ava," he says.

"I love you too Ethan, so much."

He groans and crashes his mouth on to mine. Gone are the sweet adoring kisses that he was giving me a moment ago. These are ravenous, desperate, like he can't get to me quickly enough. His lack of restraint is so.....hot. Our hands are pulling and tugging, trying to claw our way to each other, like we are trying to climb inside of one another.

He pulls back and removes his t-shirt, revealing that glorious chest and stomach. Every muscle is defined. His skin lightly tanned from our time in Hawaii. He is stunning. I run my fingers over his abs, feeling every delightful ridge.

He gives me a saucy smile and starts to undo the buttons on my blouse, slowly, one at a time. He traces his finger from the hollow in my throat, down between my breasts to my belly button, and then skims his palm across my stomach to my hip, gripping tightly. He leaves a trail of fire that burrows deep in to my core. My blouse is discarded and dropped to the floor. We are now skin on skin aside from my white lace bra.

Ethan's eyes take in every inch of me. They are searing hot and sharp. He runs his fingers across the lace of my bra and tucks one inside, teasing me and setting my body on fire. My head drops back and my eyes flutter closed, the sensations are incredible.

"Oh God... _Ethan_..." I moan.

I tangle my fingers in to his hair like I always do, pulling and directing him as his lips trail across every inch of my upper body.

He captures my mouth again and we are back to ravenous, hungry kisses. He makes quick work of my bra and drops his head to circle his tongue around my nipple. It sends a jolt of electricity down through my body, igniting every inch of me. Suddenly I need him; I want every part of him.

I want him in me.

" _God_ , you are so beautiful," he says, kissing a trail from my breast to my belly button.

My fingers move to the low-slung waist band of his jeans and start to undo the button fly. I place my hand inside and run my fingers over his length. He groans and plunges his tongue further in to my mouth.

"Commando hey?" I smile up at him.

He smiles back. "Easier access......You feel _so good_."

"So do you," I reply breathlessly.

Before I know it, he's lowering my jeans and leaves me in my white lace panties. He takes me in, running his eyes over every part of my body before his hand moves. His fingers skimming over my sensitive skin causes my back to arch up off the mattress. My hips seek his, searching for relief.

The desire on his face is breathtaking, and I know that he is seeing the same thing when he looks at me. My face feels flushed, my breathing is erratic and if he doesn't take me soon, I think I may combust.

"We don't have to take this any further if you don't want to." As those words leave his mouth, he plunges a finger in to my warmth, betraying the sentiment.

"God Ethan, are you kidding me? Make love to me _please_."

He laughs at my strangled tone. "My pleasure," he says smiling down at me.

He lowers his mouth to mine and place his weight on to my body. I can feel every delicious part of him against me. It is almost too much.

" _Ava_ ..." he moans, as he runs his hand from my calf and up the inside of my thigh. I open my legs to accommodate him, and I can feel his arousal against me, right where I need him. I rub against him, seeking relief and eliciting a groan from him that shows me how close he is to losing it.

He hooks his fingers in to my panties and lowers them down. He is already glorious and nude and all mine. His body is every bit as amazing as I thought it would be.

He is a god.

_My_ god.

_Mine._

My hands run up his back, over the muscles of his shoulders, and then back down again until I reach his tight ass. I run my nails over his toned flesh and he whimpers.

He slowly strokes his long fingers between my legs over my sensitive flesh again and I almost explode on the spot. He slowly places one finger and then two inside of me again, stroking and curling them in a rhythmic pace. My breath falters and I can't keep my eyes focused.

"God Ava I just want to be inside you," he says.

I look in to his gorgeous blue eyes and I see intense need and love, "What's stopping you?"

"Are you on birth control?"

I nod, incapable of speech.

"I've never been with anyone without a condom before, you can trust me. I just want to be inside you with no barrier, skin on skin." His gorgeous face hovers above mine, his blue eyes on fire, waiting for my response.

I lean my hips up towards him, giving my silent consent.

He bends and places his gorgeous lips on mine as he slowly lowers his body, and I feel him...

There.

He enters me inch by inch, as I arch my back in pleasure. He is hard and strong and feels _oh so good_.

Delicious - in the very best way.

We find our rhythm together and move as one, as if we've been doing this forever, we just fit perfectly.

He runs his hands up my sides, over my ribs and past my breasts; he continues up my arms until he raises them over my head, lacing his fingers through mine. He stares in to my eyes and I've never felt such an intense connection with anyone before. As we slide against one another, we don't break our stare, and the feelings I see behind Ethan's eyes are everything I have always wanted and more.

Our movements grow more feverish and our pace quickens. Ethan releases my hands and I run my nails down his back. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to leave a scratch, I can't get enough; I just want to claim him as mine.

"I love you," I say, wanting to reassure him of my feelings again.

"I love you too."

I feel a familiar tightening in my core. My eyes flutter closed and my breath falters. As I start contracting around him, I see stars and I shatter in to millions of tiny pieces, calling his name over and over....

Fireworks have got nothing on this.

Ethan shudders and collapses on to me, both of us satisfied and blissful. We stay that way for some time, allowing our breathing to return to normal. All the while, our lips slide over shoulders, and faces, just giving love, as we come back to Earth.

He rolls to his back and pulls me to him. I place my head on to his chest and throw my leg over his, sighing in contentment. There's nowhere I would rather be, than right here in this moment.

I lift my eyes to look up at the gorgeous man that is holding me. "You know, you could have _any_ girl in the world. I need to ask you - _why me_?"

He looks down at me like he can't understand what I've just asked him. "Ava, you're so different to anyone I have ever been with. You don't see me as a celebrity, or someone who can further your career. You see _me,_ just me, the _real_ me. I love you for that. Hell, you'd still want me if I flipped burgers at McDonalds!"

Ethan laughs and I giggle. "Yeah I would," I say.

He leans down and kisses me. It's a sweet kiss that shows me how much he loves me.

"Ava, you're beautiful. Gorgeous - inside and out. You're sweet and kind and you love me fiercely. That's why I want you."

"Always?" I ask.

" _Always!_ " he replies; as he leans down to kiss me.

As the kiss grows more intense, Ethan begins to move down my body, kissing my stomach and across my hips. As he moves further south I suck in a deep breath and close my eyes. I know what's coming.

_Please God, don't let him stop!_

He doesn't.

Not for hours.

So in to the early morning, we continue to explore each other, making love and showing each other what real love means.

#

I wake to find Ava wrapped in my arms.

_My_ beautiful Ava.

_Mine._

I know I sound like a freakin' caveman, but I can't help it. She's finally mine.

What an amazing way to start the day.

I inhale her sweet scent, and lie as still as I can so that I don't wake her. Her breathing is smooth and even so I know she's still asleep. I think back to the incredible night that we shared and I feel an overwhelming sense of protectiveness come over me. I love this girl, and I need to take care of her and protect her from everything bad that could come her way.

Always.

The thought both thrills and terrifies me at the same time.

I've never really had anyone that belonged to _me_ in my life before. In turn I don't really feel like _I_ have ever belonged _to_ anyone before either. It's a heady feeling. One that comes with great responsibility.

I need to guard her heart.

And mine.

My mind starts to wander and thoughts of Nanny fill my head. I haven't had any calls, so no news is good news - right?

As the anxiety over Nanny takes hold, I carefully remove my arms from around Ava, being sure not to wake her from her dreams. I pad quietly over to my dresser and grab a page out of the daily script we were using to film with in Hawaii. I start to fold the sheet of paper....

When I was younger, Nanny taught me origami. She actually taught me a lot of crafts - pottery, painting, sketching; not very masculine I know but it was kind of our thing. The only skill I retained was the origami; only it has become something that I do when I'm nervous or anxious. I sit and fold paper into shapes to keep my hands busy. At least now with Ava, my habit has a purpose.

Hey, it's better than biting my nails or smoking. Although I have been known to have the occasional cigarette when under the influence.

Without thinking, I've folded the paper into the shape of a heart. It opens out to the sides so I grab a black marker and write **I LOVE YOU** on the inside. I fold the two halves back together and place the heart on my pillow for Ava to find when she wakes up.

I then make my way to my bathroom and turn the water to hot. I'll grab a quick shower and then get the chef to make some pancakes for Ava for breakfast; I know they're her favourite. Then we can head in to the hospital to see how Nanny is doing.

I close my eyes under the stream of water and my mind drifts back to last night with Ava; I can't stop thinking about it. What a fucking perfect night. I take myself in hand and begin stroking up and down as thoughts of Ava flood my mind. After all the times we made love last night, I'm surprised that my equipment is still functioning. Just thinking of her makes me want more, I can't get enough.

I feel a rush of cold air hit my back, and I turn to see Ava standing in the doorway of the shower. She is utterly gorgeous. Her hair is all mussed up from sleep, and her eyes are droopy after waking up. I've never seen her look more beautiful.

She's holding my origami heart in her hand and biting down on her bottom lip, as her eyes drift down to where I'm holding my erection. She looks up with a wicked grin.

"Want some help with that babe?" she asks, cocking her head to the side, her voice sexy as hell from sleep. I think I just got harder hearing her call me _babe_. I will _never_ get enough of that.

She kisses the paper heart and turns to place it on the bathroom vanity before lifting her tank top over her head, and lowering her panties to the floor, before stepping in to the shower with me. I pull her to me and take her mouth in a ravenous kiss. One that she returns just as passionately.

We kiss like we're starving for one another, even after the night we had, neither of us can get enough. I don't think I'll ever have my fill of this girl. I don't know what she's done to me, but I fuckin' love it.

She pulls back and looks up at me through her lashes as she rains kisses across my collarbone. She gives me a saucy smile through hooded eyes as she moves lower and runs her tongue across my pecs, paying close attention to each of my nipples. I suck in air when she bends down further and runs the pad of her tongue across the V of muscle that leads to where I really want her to be.

When she lowers to her knees and her face is right where I want it, I almost collapse to the tiled floor... and then... and then her mouth closes around me. The breath I take fails to inflate my lungs as she works her mouth and tongue over the length of me. I slap a hand to the tiled wall to keep myself upright, and throw my head back, trying to maintain my composure.

This girl has tricks, and _Oh My God_ , she can use them on me anytime. I think I just fell in love with her all over again.

I hear my voice come out all breathy as I say " _Ava_ ..... _baby_ ....."

She looks up at me from her position on the floor and says "Mmmmmm...." without removing her lips from me and that does me in. The slight vibration from her voice is enough to tip me over the edge and I come hard and fast. She stays in place taking everything I can give her, and then slowly stands, running her hands over every part of me as she makes her ascent.

"My turn now?" I ask, as she smiles and nods.

I lower to the floor and lift her leg over my shoulder, opening her to me.

I give her a smile before burying my face between her legs.

We spend the next half hour under the stream of water connecting in our new amazing way.

As I'm dressing a text comes through from Josh:

**Heading home today. Shoot relocated to sound stage. Call time 8am tom. Will call u when we r back. Hope Nanny is OK. J.**

"They're all heading back today," I say to Ava as she runs a brush through her hair.

"Yeah I know. Liv called me before I came in to the bathroom. She said that they have been able to change the shooting schedule to include more indoor honeymoon scenes that can be shot on the sound stage. We're back on deck tomorrow, as long as Nanny Grace is okay that is."

My heart skips a beat as Ava mentions Nanny. "Let's get to the hospital to see how she's doing, shall we? We'll have a quick breakfast first. "

I'm anxious now, and I just want to see her and talk to the doctor to see if she's made any progress.

"Give me five minutes and I'll be ready," Ava says as she opens her large suitcase. She pulls out a blue sundress with little straps that run over her tiny shoulders and a pair of wedged sandals. Her legs look like they go forever whenever she wears those shoes, I love them. She ties her long hair up in to a messy bun and fixes little star shaped earrings to her lobes.

Just then, Rosa knocks on my door with breakfast. She enters and places the tray down near my sofa. "Thanks Rosa," I say.

"You're welcome Mr Ethan." Rosa gives me a small smile and leaves us to it.

I call to Ava who is back in the bathroom. "Breakfast is here. Do you want to eat outside; it's such a gorgeous day."

"Yes, that sounds great," she calls back.

"Don't take too long, the pancakes will get cold," I call as I open the sliding doors that lead out to the patio area.

"Oooh pancakes, yummy," she says.

That brings a smile to my face. I love making her happy.

The sun is sitting low in the sky today and the air is warm. It's a stunning LA morning, perfect for anything other than visiting hospital. I wish Ava and I could enjoy it by the pool, or walk through the park, anything but having to see Nanny the way she is.

I set our breakfast up on the large wrought iron and glass outdoor setting. We both have pancakes with all the trimmings, strawberries, maple syrup and cream. Rosa has also brought us each a pot of tea. A large plate of freshly cut fruit is on the table along with a rack of whole-wheat toast with butter and preserves.

Ava strides through the glass doors looking stunning, and walks over to me. I can't help myself; I stand and place my arm around her waist, pulling her to me. I crush my mouth to hers and kiss her hard. I control the kiss in every way tilting her head, and sliding my lips and tongue over hers. Her plump lips are swollen from all my kisses, and I love it.

I love the fact that every time I look at her, I know that I am the one that has made them that way.

When I pull back, she's breathless. Her brown eyes are alight, and if we hadn't just had breakfast delivered, I think I'd pick her up and take her back to bed. I place a light kiss on the back of her hand and pull her chair out for her so she can sit.

"Wow, this is quite a breakfast," she says as she spears a piece of watermelon on to her fork. I watch her chew the sweet fruit. She closes her eyes and moans about how great it tastes causing me to have to adjust myself under the table.

I grab her tea pot and pour her a cup.

I drizzle maple syrup over my pancake and hers, and then pour out my tea.

I want to take care of her; I want to make sure she has everything she needs.

"Thank you...." she says smiling sweetly at me, "...for everything," she continues.

I drop my fork and take her hand. "What do you mean _for everything_?"

"For everything," she says again with a shrug. "You've been so sweet to me over the last day and this breakfast, it just makes me feel special. I know that you're going through a difficult time with everything that's happened with Nanny, and I appreciate that you have made this time so wonderful for us, despite that."

I lean in and kiss her soft lips. "I want all the times we spend together to be special Ava, you deserve this and more."

She smiles and picks up her fork, ready to tackle her pancake. I sit back and stare in to her gorgeous brown eyes and smile, realising how lucky I am to have her with me. Despite the worries that I'm having over Nanny, I feel content and secure with Ava.

Our peace is broken when I hear my mother's footsteps from behind, "Ethan?"

I turn my head as she appears on the patio and I watch her face drop when she takes in the sight of Ava sitting with me. I'll give her credit though; she fixes her face in to that fake-ass smile that I know all too well as she moves forward.

"Good Morning Mother, you remember Ava right?"

"Of course dear," she says as she extends a manicured hand out to shake Ava's.

"Good Morning Mrs Drake," Ava says with a smile. I see her shoulders tense up, so I know she is uncomfortable.

"Ethan I need a word with you dear. The hospital just called re Nanny."

I sit up in my chair, "What did they say?"

"Nanny is awake. She's doing well. She's been asking for us."

_Thank God!_

My heart skips a beat and slows. The relief at that news is instant, and when I look in to Ava's face, I see her relax too.

My mother informs us that she has been in to see Nanny since her stroke. She was in and out of the hospital in record time by the sounds of things and barely spoke to the doctors. Typical. Her visit seems to have created quite a diversion for all the nurses though; apparently they were all very star struck to have her there. Of course she is in heaven telling us how adored she was.

"Ava and I will be heading in to see Nanny as soon as we finish our breakfast."

"Good dear, I'm pleased to hear that. I have a meeting with the Producer of a film I am keen to pursue at eleven this morning so I'll head in to the hospital after that."

My mother turns her gaze to Ava's, "What brings you here Ava?"

_Here we go!_

Ava looks to me as she falters with what to say. I take Ava's hand and give her a warm smile. "Ava and I are together Mother. She returned from Hawaii with me when we got the news about Nanny. I couldn't have gotten through the last two days without her."

Ava gives me a shy smile as I pull her hand to my lips and kiss the back of it.

My mother looks at me and then to Ava. That same sly smile returns to her lips. "Well how lovely," she says. I can see that she's not happy. She would never be happy with me dating anyone that wasn't from a prominent showbiz family.

"I'm heading out to an appointment Ethan dear. Lovely to see you again Ava." She turns on her desginer heels and clicks her way over the patio, back in to the house.

Ava lets out the breath that she probably didn't even realise she was holding. "Your mum was very sweet today Ethan."

"Don't let that fool you. She'll be heading in to the hospital today to ensure that she upholds the pretence that she cares about Nanny. It's all for show." I don't say anything to Ava about the fact that my mother looked unhappy about us being together. I don't want my mother to taint any part of our relationship, and I don't give a shit what she thinks.

"Let's not talk about her anymore; shall we head in to see Nanny?"

Ava wipes her mouth with her napkin and rises from her chair. "Just give me a moment to brush my teeth and I'll be ready". She heads back in to the house and away from my view. I take the opportunity to text Josh to let him know that I will be at the studio in the morning and to thank him again for all the arrangements he made for us.

I also shoot a quick text off to Grayson:

**Hey Gray. Nanny awake. Heading to c her now. Will keep you posted. What's doing tonite? E**

Now that I know Nanny is awake, I feel like celebrating and a few quiet drinks with Grayson and Ava would be perfect. Ava is still in the bathroom, so I quickly fold another origami flower, for Nanny this time, and push it in to my pocket. I'll grab her some flowers and some fudge from the gift store in the hospital lobby.

I grab my phone, keys, some cash and sunglasses and wait for Ava to finish up so we can get going.

Ava holds my hand tightly as we walk towards Nanny's door.

"Ethan, I think I'll wait out here so you can spend time with Nanny alone," she says, letting go of my hand and walking back towards the chairs we have just passed in the hallway.

"No way Ava, you're coming in with me. She'll want to see you too."

I grab her hand and pull her to the door with me.

Nanny looks over at us the minute the door opens. She has a huge smile on her face and extends her hand out to me. She looks tired and older than she did last time I saw her. It is plain to see that this has taken a toll on her. I don't see any signs of the stroke, her face looks to be fine, and her motor skills seem normal, if just a bit slower.

"Ethan sweetheart," she says in a raspy voice.

I move to her bed and take her hand, bending down to give her a gentle kiss on the cheek. I place my origami flower in to the palm of her hand. Nanny looks down at it and gives me a knowing smile.

"Nanny, you scared us," I reprimand.

"I know sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'm feeling okay though. A little tired and a little slow but otherwise good. Ava darling, come sit by me. It's so nice to see you."

Ava gives Nanny a kiss and places the flowers and fudge on to the rolling table that sits over her bed.

"Thank you my darlings." Nanny seems delighted.

"What are the doctors saying Nanny?"

She takes a deep breath and sighs. "Well, they want me to take things a little easier. They don't want me to have another stroke that causes more damage next time. All in all I'm very lucky. There is no permanent damage from this one. I need to watch my diet a little better and take time out to relax more." She gives me a cheeky grin, "you know me Ethan, it's hard for me to sit still."

"I'm fully aware of that, but you know that we'll all be watching you more closely now don't you? I don't want this happening again."

"Nor do I sweetie," she says. "Enough about me, tell me about Hawaii. I'm so sorry that you all had to return early on my account."

"Don't be Nanny. Ava and I had a great time in Hawaii. The production schedule has been reworked, and we will still get the shots we need here. We're both back in the studio tomorrow morning to pick up where we left off."

Nanny looks between Ava and I and gives us a smile. "I can see that things are well with you both. I'm so pleased."

"I think that Mother is coming in to see you later this morning," I say.

"Yes sweetie, she let me know that she would be here. She called past while I was sleeping too, I understand. Caused quite a stir with all the nursing staff. There was much excitement that Elizabeth Drake was here on their ward."

"I bet," I mutter to myself.

Nanny turns to Ava. "Ava sweetheart, would you mind if I had five minutes with Ethan. I could really do with a vase for these stunning flowers."

"Of course." Ava rises from her chair and places a kiss on Nanny's cheek and then mine. "I'll go see what I can do. Back soon."

My gaze follows Ava as she heads out the door.

I turn back to Nanny with a grin on my face. She's smiling at me like the cat that ate the canary.

"Ethan, I'm so pleased to see you so happy. She's such a sweet girl. I get a good feeling from her."

"Thank you Nanny. She's so special. I really love her," I confess.

Nanny's eyebrows raise and she takes my hand. "Treat her well sweetheart. The heart is a special thing to hold in one's hand, and it deserves to be treated with respect and reverence. Always remember that and you'll both do fine."

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes for a moment before gazing back at me. "Ethan this has been a bit of a wakeup call for me. I always thought that I would be on this earth for a long time, but that may not always be the case."

I shake my head. "Hey, you aren't going anywhere, stop talking like that."

Nanny raises her hand for me to stop. "Ethan sweetheart, there are things that I know that I need to tell you. Things that you should have been told a long time ago but for many reasons they've been kept from you. We need to have a long conversation. Not here in this hospital, but when I get out we need to make the time. Can you do that for me?"

I feel uneasy about Nanny's tone, but I nod and promise her that we'll catch up as soon as she gets out. A smile breaks on Nanny's face as if she is relieved that I haven't pushed her for further information now, but I can tell that she wants to wait before we go there. I'll respect that but I won't pretend that I'm not anxious to know what she has to tell me.

Ava rounds the corner with a cardboard carrier containing three disposable cups and a large glass vase. "Here's the vase, and I got us all tea," she announces as she hands a cup to Nanny and I, before taking one for herself. We sit with Nanny for an hour discussing Hawaii, the film, Ava's parents, and much more.

We talk about everything except the elephant in the room that Nanny has left hanging over the both of us.

We bid farewell to Nanny, promising to return tomorrow, and I notice that Grayson has texted me back. He's doing a gig tonight at a small club in downtown LA. I've seen _Awesome Rebel_ perform there before, and they were great in such an intimate setting.

"Ava, Gray and the band are playing in LA tonight. Do you want to go?"

"Sure," she replies. "I need to spend some time at home first though. I want to catch up with Liv, do some laundry and settle back in before work tomorrow. I also need to call Josh to catch up on what I've missed. He's covered everything for me while we've been back here."

"Yeah I know. I really need to do something for him to say thanks. I know he's been after tickets to the Beyoncé concert next month. I may see if I can pull some strings and get some back-stage passes for him as well."

Ava's head spins to face mine. "Can you do _that_?" she asks in awe.

I laugh. "Yeah, sometimes I can. Depends who knows who. Connections are a big thing in this town. Usually my Agent or Manager knows someone who can get me in."

"Oooh. That's so cool," she says. "Hey can I ask Liv and Ryan to come tonight too? I miss spending time with my sister."

"Of course babe, the more the merrier," I say as I take Ava's hand and kiss the back of it.

Ava's face lights up like the fourth of July. I don't know whether she's happy that I said okay to Olivia coming out with us, or whether it was my term of endearment, but either way I feel like a fucking king knowing that I'm responsible for putting that smile there.

#

# Song Star

#

I throw my arms around my sister when I see her standing in the kitchen of the apartment, I've really missed her. It feels like so much has changed in such a short space of time and she makes me feel safe.

"How's everything Sis?" she asks. "Is Nanny Grace okay?"

I fill Olivia in on all the news, letting her know what happened with Nanny Grace and how much she had improved when we went to see her today. I know that Ethan is so relieved. It was like I could physically see the weight being lifted from his shoulders as soon as we walked in to the hospital room and saw that Nanny was getting back to her old self. His eyes lightened and the deep creases on his face seemed to disappear instantly.

"Did you have a nice time with Ethan?" Olivia asks with a stupid grin on her face.

"Yes. We had a very nice time..." I reply.

She laughs her husky laugh, "I bet you did."

" _Olivia!_ " I admonish.

"Oh come on," she says, "your face is glowing, your smile is wide and you look like the cat that ate the cream, I'd be stupid if I didn't realise what you two have been up to. And just for the record, I'm really happy. For both of you. I'll be watching him though, and if he does anything to hurt you, he'll be dealing with me."

"Liv, I love him and he loves me, I don't think that will happen but it's always good to know that I have you in my corner."

"Always," she says with a smile as she walks towards the balcony.

"The Producers have been able to re-work some of the scenes so we can shoot them indoors now. Some will use a green screen and they'll add the backdrops in during post-production. Some will be on location at a beach here in California. They're currently scouting locations."

"That's a relief; Ethan was pretty stressed about holding up production with what happened to Nanny."

"He didn't hold it up. We just shot some other scenes and came up with alternatives. We were all worried about Nanny too; she has quite the following amongst the cast and crew. Everyone adores her. You'll also be happy to know that Josh looked after me beautifully in your absence."

"He's a gem," I say as I grab my cell phone. "Ethan and I are heading to a club to see _Awesome Rebel_ tonight; can you and Ryan join us? I'm going to text Josh now to thank him and see if he and Chelsea can come too."

"I can, but Ryan can't, he's still in Hawaii. He'll be back tomorrow; he just needed to wrap up some business there. I'd love to see _Awesome Rebel_ though, it'll be great to catch up with Grayson too. I didn't get a chance to talk to him at Ryan's party."

"Oh, you know Grayson?" I ask.

She blushes, from her neck to her cheeks. Red blotches cover her face. My sister _never_ blushes. Nothing _ever_ embarrasses her, so this is really rare. "Yep," she says quickly as she starts to make her way out of the room.

"Liv?" I call after her.

"Yeah?" she says turning to face me.

"What?" I ask.

"What do you mean _what_?"

"What was that reaction when I mentioned Grayson?"

"I didn't have a _reaction_ when you mentioned Grayson," she says forcefully, as the blush returns.

"You're doing it now, you're blushing! Every time I mention his name."

"Ava, don't be ridiculous," she says as she leaves the room.

I can't help the laugh that bursts forward. "You like him," I call to her in a sing-song voice. She doesn't answer, but I know she heard me.

This night is going to be so much fun!

I clap my hands and do a little happy dance before I head to my room to unpack, tackle laundry and get ready for our much-needed night out.

Ethan wasn't kidding when he said this was an intimate club.

It's tiny.

There are large sofas and low coffee tables along the walls. Each table has a mason jar with a tea-light candle in it. The glow in the room gives a really cosy feel. The centre of the room is covered with bar stools lining large, rustic, wooden benches, again adorned with candles. There's a small stage and a dancing area in front of it. There are a lot of people here, but it doesn't feel overcrowded, it just feels comfortable, I love it.

It's down-to-earth, and for the first time since arriving here, I feel like I could be in a little local bar back home in Melbourne.

Ethan leads us all to a large bench table to the left of the dance floor so we have a great view of the stage. Grayson and the boys are up there setting up. There are four stools and mike stands ready to go, it looks like a more acoustic set-up than the one they had at Ryan's party, when I first heard them. I'm excited to see them more up-close and personal.

Grayson notices our arrival and jumps down off the stage to greet us. He and Ethan share some weird male handshake that I've seen them do before. Grayson gives me his usual big bear-hug as a hello and then looks to Olivia. His face lights up and he moves forward to give her a hug too. "Great to see you Olivia, I wasn't expecting you. Where's Ryan?" he asks looking behind her.

Olivia shrugs. "Still in Hawaii, but he'll be back tomorrow."

"Can I get you a drink?" Grayson asks her.

"Sure, lead the way." Olivia follows Grayson to the bar and I turn to Ethan.

"So how long have Grayson and Olivia been in to each other?" I ask him with eyebrows raised.

Ethan looks at me cautiously. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play coy with me; I saw the way he looked at her. How long has he had the hots for Liv?"

"Don't say anything to her okay?" Ethan concedes. "He's had a thing for her for ages, but unfortunately he was too late in doing anything about it and Ryan got there first."

"If it's any consolation I think Liv likes him too."

" _Really?_ "

"She got all funny with me and started blushing when I talked about Grayson earlier. I think she's into him too."

"They'd make a great couple," Ethan says, "they have lots in common and Gray is the best guy I know, he'd treat her like a princess."

"Well unfortunately she's with Ryan so they can't go there."

I look to the bar and see them both throw their heads back laughing at something they are talking about. Yes, they'd look great together, and if they had kids..... _Whoa_ , I need to halt that thought and concentrate on the gorgeous specimen of a man standing in front of me.

Josh and Chelsea come through the door, and I wave at them to show them where we are sitting.

"What do you want to drink babe?" Ethan asks me.

Every time he calls me that a tingle runs from my heart to my core, waking all my senses and tying me to this man a little more.

"A beer please."

He moves to the bar to grab our drinks as Olivia returns to the table, and Grayson makes his way to the stage. Liv has a pink drink in her hand.

"What's that Liv?"

"Just some cocktail that Grayson said I needed to try. It's really sweet. Goes down like lolly water. I'll need to be careful not to drink too many of these tonight."

"Grayson's really sweet hey?"

Olivia blushes again. "Yeah he is," she says with a shrug.

We both look to the stage and watch Grayson continue to prepare for his show. The way his ass looks in his Levis when he bends over to secure the mike cable, is a sin. No one should look that good in a pair of jeans.

We all settle in, getting ready to enjoy the show.

An hour later, _Awesome Rebel_ is really rocking this place. They're so talented, and Grayson's voice is amazing when they play acoustically. They should play like this all the time. He has a gravelly sound to his voice, sexy and low.

They've just finished playing a full set of original songs when Grayson addresses the crowd. "Time to change things up a bit," he says. "Let's do a couple of covers?" He looks at the other guys in the band to make sure they're on board with that. They all nod in acceptance.

"I've got some friends in the house tonight, and one of them has a great voice. Let's see if we can get him up here to do a song for us. Come on up here Ethan."

I totally forgot that Grayson mentioned that Ethan could sing. My heart is pounding for him. The crowd starts to clap and cheer in encouragement. Ethan places a kiss on my cheek and then rises from his stool.

I watch as he makes his way to the stage. If I thought Grayson looked great in his jeans, then he has nothing on Ethan. His black jeans are hugging every curve of his gorgeous ass, and his long legs are showcased with every stride.

Every female in the club is watching his approach intently. The realisation of recognition begins to show on their faces. Whispers fill the room as they become excited to see him in the flesh. They sit up straighter and begin to preen. I guess I need to become accustomed to the fact that they will always want a piece of my man.

_My man._

I love thinking of him as mine.

I see a few people pull out their smart phones and start to take pictures and video of Ethan on stage. I guess this will be on social media sites by the end of the set.

Ethan leans down and talks to Grayson, I'm sure they're discussing what to perform. I can't wait to hear him sing. I feel like I'm sitting on pins and needles, making it impossible for me to sit still with the anticipation. Grayson nods and turns to let the other band members know what they're going to do.

"Okay," Grayson begins, "....we're going to do a new one for you, a cover actually. Hope you like it."

Ethan takes the stool next to Grayson and wraps his hands around the microphone stand, adjusting the height to suit him. He blinks once in to the spotlight that now illuminates the stage, and then his eyes find mine. He gives me that panty-dropping smile of his and nods to Grayson, giving the cue to start.

Grayson and the other guitarist - I think his name is Matt - begin to strum the chords of the song. The piano joins in soon after. I recognise the tune but I can't place it. Ethan and Grayson begin to sing and it is amazing.

I mean - Oh.

My.

God.

Their two voices blend together in such an incredible way. I can feel it in my bones. I recognize the song as soon as they start to sing. It's _Thinking Out Loud_ by Ed Sheeran.

I love this song. This acoustic version is pure perfection. You can hear the timbre in both of their voices. I can tell they've done this before, and that they both enjoy being up there together.

Ethan's voice can easily match Grayson's. His tone is amazing and boy can he sing. He looks so sexy up there on that stage. I can't stop thinking about getting him home. I didn't think it was possible to be more attracted to him but right now I am. I want to jump up and tell everyone in the room that this man is mine.

I pick up the long neck bottle in front of me and take a sip of my beer. I can't tear my eyes away from the stage. My throat feels dry and my cheeks are hurting from smiling at the sight of Ethan up there.

The surge in my hormones has made the temperature in the room heat up too.

His eyes are closed as his lips lightly touch the end of the microphone as he sings. I have never in my life been jealous of an inanimate object, but right now I would kill to be that microphone.

The boys wrap up the song to huge applause and whistles. They move seamlessly in to another one; this time I pick it immediately, it's _Just the Way You Are_ by Bruno Mars. Another of my favourites and it also reminds me of the night that Ethan and I danced in Hawaii. He glances my way and gives me a knowing smile, he's thinking of that night too. It makes me feel like he's singing this one just for me.

At the end of this song, Ethan thanks the crowd and saunters back towards our table. Grayson and the band start up again, this time with one of their own songs, and the crowd descend on to the dance floor. Ethan reaches me and extends his hand, "Let's dance."

I look to Liv, who with a sweep of her hand and a sip of her cocktail gives me the _go ahead_ signal. That familiar electricity shoots up my arm as soon as I place my hand into Ethan's. He leads the way through the bodies on the dance floor, pulling me behind him. Once in a place that he is satisfied with, he turns and pulls me to him, splaying his hands out on my hips.

Josh and Chelsea are ripping up the dance floor beside us.

"You were incredible up there you know," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck, and moving along with him. Dancing like this with Ethan will never get old. He can move. The beat is strong and I can feel it pounding through my feet. My heart is matching the rhythm but that has more to do with my close proximity to Ethan than anything else.

He pulls me closer, and I nuzzle my face into his neck, taking in the unique scent of him. I don't know whether it's his body wash, his cologne or just his natural scent, but it is addictive, intoxicating and all male.

"I need to get you home," Ethan growls in my ear.

I look in to his eyes and see them darken with want. God, I need to get him out of here.

We immediately make our way back to Olivia. Grayson has just wrapped up his set and heads over to us too.

"Ready to go Sis?" I ask Liv.

Olivia looks to Grayson, who is smiling down at her. "I think I'll stay a little longer." She smiles back at Grayson.

"I'll go get us some drinks then," Grayson says as heads towards the bar.

I lean down to Liv. "What are you doing Liv? What about Ryan?"

She flutters her eye lashes at me. "I just feel like hanging out a bit longer. I'm sure Grayson won't mind dropping me home. He and I haven't caught up in a while. Stop worrying."

I give her the _do-you-think-I'm-stupid_ stare and turn back to Ethan. He's listening to our exchange with a knowing look, and a smirk on his gorgeous face.

Grayson returns to the table with a beer and another potent pink cocktail, placing it down in front of Olivia as he takes a seat beside her. He smiles at both Ethan and I and says, "Later guys."

I think we're being dismissed.

Looks like he wants some alone time with Liv.

I hope they know what they're doing.

We say our goodbyes to Josh and Chelsea, who are still jumping around on the dance floor, and make our way out to head home.

"My place or yours?" Ethan asks with a crooked smile, dimples on display.

"How about mine?" I reply, "it's closer."

Ethan laughs as he leans over the gear stick and grabs my chin, running his tongue along the seam of my lips, before dipping it inside my mouth. He pulls back with a sigh and leaves one hand on my knee.

Before I've even finished fastening my seat belt, he pulls away from the curb and heads towards my apartment, like a man on a mission.

#

# Meet the Parents

#

The past few weeks with Ava have been some of the best in my life.

She is sweet and beautiful, and all mine. She amazes and inspires me every day. I can't fuckin' believe how lucky I am. I don't know what I've done to deserve her in my life, but whatever it is I'm grateful.

What a turnaround!

We've spent as much time together as possible, both at work and outside of it. Everyone at the studio has been so happy for us, except of course for Madeline, who fails to acknowledge Ava's existence or our relationship without a scowl on her face. Her opinion means nothing to me anyway so what she thinks is of little consequence to me.

The media outlets have backed off a little.

There were a lot of photos from the night that I performed with Grayson and _Awesome Rebel_ at the club. Not only shots of me on stage with the boys, but photos of Ava and I dancing and kissing. They even published a few of Olivia and Grayson, trying to intimate that she was cheating on Ryan. I cringe when I think about how bad this is going to get when the movie premieres. The hype surrounding it grows every day.

The media outlets and photographers only care about their pay day; they don't give a shit about the lies they print and what impact they have on our lives.

The good thing is that they know Ava and I are a couple now, so most of the stories that they've published of late have been sweet, showing normal everyday things, like us shopping or eating out. No scandals at this stage, but I remind Ava on a daily basis to not believe anything she reads and to speak to me about anything that may upset her first before jumping to conclusions. I can only hope that her addiction to trashy mags has worn off and that she no longer believes the headlines on those stupid glossy pages.

I've spent a lot of time with Nanny too.

She spent a further two weeks in the hospital, being monitored and receiving the best care I could buy her. I wanted her to move in with me when she was released, but of course she wouldn't hear of it.

I've been making sure that she has settled back in to her life at the Nursing Home and that she is well looked after. She is really happy there and I know they keep a close eye on her for me, so I feel confident leaving her, even though I'd much rather have her under my roof so I can keep a closer watch.

We haven't had a chance to have the conversation that she mentioned to me when I visited her in the hospital that first day after she woke up. It was too difficult to do that when she was in there, and the past week or so has been filled with getting her settled. I need to call her tonight to make a time to sit down with her now that she's feeling better. I'm anxious to see what she wants to tell me.

But first, I'm really nervous about getting to the Studio today.

We have a heavy shooting schedule, but more importantly, Ava's parents have arrived from Australia to spend some time here with both her and Olivia. I'm terrified to meet them. I know that they know about me, but as always, people have a pre-conceived idea about me based on what they read in the tabloids.

Hell, even Ava had a bad opinion of me when she first met me based on what she had read.

I want to make a good impression on her parents, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Impressing the parents of a girl has never been something I've had to worry about before.

I've never cared about anyone enough to worry about being introduced to their parents.

Ava has reassured me so many times that her parents are great and will judge me based on what they see in front of them. I can only hope that's true.

I need to stop on my way in today. It's Ava's birthday in a few days and I want to get her something special. I've decided that my present to her will be in three parts.

_Yep I hear myself, and I admit that_ s _he has me totally whipped._

The first being something from Tiffany and Co.

She always swoons whenever we drive past it. She loves the little blue boxes and white ribbons, and has told me that she only has one piece from there that her parents gave her. I've been on line to see what I wanted to get her and pre-ordered it. I just need to call past to collect it.

I settled on a thick, white gold ring with the words _I Love You_ engraved on the outside of the band. Something she can wear every day and something that will remind her of me whenever she looks at it. I've asked the store to arrange some engraving on the inside of the band.

I just want it to simply say - _Always, Ethan x_.

I also got her a double chain white gold bracelet with the infinity symbol on it. I thought it would represent that our love has no end, no limits.

Corny I know, and sometimes I wonder where my balls have gone - but I wanted something special to show her what she means to me. I know she'll love it.

The second part of my gift is a new tattoo for me.

I've decided to get her name tattooed on the inside of my wrist, inspired by our conversation in Hawaii. Just in simple script with a small heart to the side of it. Nothing too big as I need to be able to hide it when I act, just like my other tattoos. I just feel like marking myself with something permanent.

She'll freak out, but I think she'll love it. She really likes my other tatts, and spends a lot of time running those gorgeous hands of hers all over them.

I've booked in to see my tattoo artist tomorrow afternoon to get the ink. I figure Ava will be busy with her parents, so I'll be able to sneak out without her noticing my absence.

The final part of my gift is going to blow her away.

_Awesome Rebel_ is playing a gig for charity a couple of nights after her birthday. They're one of a large number of acts playing that night.

The headliner is Jason Derulo, Ava's favourite.

Hell, she's even had me listening to him, and now I find myself humming along to him whenever he's on the radio. I must admit that I downloaded his latest song - _Want to want me_ - on to my phone, not that I've told anyone that.

Grayson has arranged seats for us, as well as Ava's parents and Olivia. He's even organised back stage passes for us so she'll get to meet Jason. Not sure I'm happy about my girl drooling over some other guy, but I know she will be so excited about meeting him so I'll go with it for that reason. I can't wait to tell her.

Right now, I need to get to Tiffany and pick up her gifts so I can get to the Studio on time and meet Ava's parents.

The lump in my throat feels like it just doubled in size.

As I pull in to my usual spot at Universal, I see Madeline approaching my car. She looks like she's just arrived too, as she is carrying a large purse and copies of today's script and sides.

"Mornin' Madeline," I say as I place my aviators on my face to hide the glare of the sun.

"Hey Ethan. What's up?" she says.

"Not much. A lot to get through today."

"Yeah, it's sure going to be a busy one. I think we need to rehearse a couple of our scenes too if you have the time. I want to be sure that we have the same motivation for the argument we have in the restaurant."

I nod. We do need to make sure we're on the same page for that one; it's a pretty important scene for the movie.

"Sure," I state. "Have Lucy call Josh and they can set up a time for us to get together today." Lucy is Madeline's assistant.

"Okay, will do," she responds.

We walk through the main entrance and I pull the second door towards us, motioning for Madeline to enter before me. My eyes lock on to Ava's as soon as I step through the door. She gives me a heartbreaking smile until she takes in Madeline next to me. Her smile drops from her face as quickly as it appears.

"I'll catch you later Madeline," I say, stepping around her and making my way to Ava in long strides. Madeline makes a disgruntled noise and turns towards her dressing room without even acknowledging Ava.

Not surprising.

I pull Ava in to my arms and give her a loud wet kiss, staking my claim. She giggles, making me think that Madeline's cold shoulder has been forgotten.

"Good Morning beautiful. Are your folks here yet?"

"Yes. They're in with Liv. They can't wait to meet you. Do you want to come meet them now?" she asks tentatively.

"Sure, if you want me to," I answer. She smiles and nods and takes my hand in hers, giving it a light squeeze.

We turn the corner and I come face-to-face with the people that I recognise from all the photos on Ava's desk. Her parents look much younger in person though. I hold my hand out to her father.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr Lucas, I'm Ethan Drake," I say, sounding much more confident than I'm feeling.

Ava's father gives me a good firm handshake and replies, "Please Ethan, call me James. Mr Lucas makes me feel way too old. It's a pleasure to meet you too, the girls have told us a lot about you."

Ava turns me towards her mom. "Ethan this is my mum, Rebecca." Ava's mom is a stunning woman, she looks just like Ava, and if this is what Ava is going to look like when she gets to her mother's age then I am one lucky bastard.

Rebecca pulls me in for a hug. "Great to finally meet you Ethan," she says.

"It's great that you could both make it over here to see the girls. I know how much they miss you. I hope that we all get to spend some time together while you're here. I'd really love to show you around LA."

"We'd love that. This is our first time here and there is so much we want to see and do," Rebecca replies.

James laughs loudly. "Don't listen to the girls Ethan, they just want to shop. Rebecca has been going on and on about shopping with her girls since we got here." He chuckles. "Perhaps we could arrange some boy time while they do that. Do you play golf?" he asks me.

_Shit._

I don't.

I mean Grayson and I have played a few rounds before. Gray isn't bad, but me, I'm shithouse.

Maybe I could enlist Grayson to play with us and see how it goes. I want to make a good impression on Ava's parents and get to know them. Walking my way around a fucking golf course is not exactly my idea of fun, but at least it will give me time to get to know James.

I square my shoulders and reply. "Sure. I mean I'm not that good at it, but I would be happy to play a round with you. I'll ask my friend Grayson to join us; he's not a bad golfer."

Olivia calls out from her position in front of the mirrors, "Ryan might like to join you too."

"No worries Liv, I'll ask him," I respond.

James claps his hand over my shoulder. "Great. I'm looking forward to that. Let me know when and I'll be there."

I really need to call Grayson and see if we can tee up some time on the golf course prior to playing with James. I need to practise so I don't look like a complete tool.

Ava gives me her gorgeous smile and mouths "thank you." I wink at her, place a kiss on her cheek and excuse myself to head to my dressing room and prepare for the first scene we're shooting today.

As far as first impressions go, I think I passed the grade.

Time will only tell.

As far as first encounters with parents go, I think that went in my favour.

Josh is madly typing on his lap top when I enter my dressing room.

"Mornin' Josh, working in here now?" I tease. "Your office not good enough anymore?"

He shrugs and turns towards me. "Sorry E, but Madeline was on one of her yelling sprees this morning. Don't know who was on the receiving end of her phone call, but it was so loud that I couldn't concentrate. Thought I'd come in here and shut the door to see if I could get some work done. Your dressing room is further away from her doorway than my office."

"Well thanks for the heads up man. I'll be sure to steer clear of her today."

Josh shakes his head. "No can do Ethan. Lucy emailed. Madeline wants to rehearse the restaurant scene with you at 11am. Lucy said that Madeline had already spoken to you about it."

I'd forgotten about that in all the excitement of meeting Ava's parents.

"Shit. Well there goes my day hey. She did mention it, but it slipped my mind."

I slump in to the leather sofa in my room and glance over the sides that Josh has for the day. These outline all the scenes we are shooting and the dialogue. I think I have it all down, but I want to be sure.

"E, the make-up team will be here in five minutes," Josh calls.

"Cool, thanks. I'm ready for them. Hey Josh, is everything sorted for dinner at Katusya for Ava's birthday?"

"Yep, all booked for 7pm."

"Thanks. You and Chelsea will be there right?"

"Wouldn't miss it," he replies.

An hour later I'm dressed and ready to film my first scene with Olivia. This is a honeymoon scene. One of the ones that we were supposed to film in Hawaii but couldn't due to my time being cut short.

We were meant to film this breakfast scene overlooking the ocean, but they have now decided to set up an elaborate set that looks like a bridal suite in an expensive hotel. It is incredible.

A small table adorned with a sumptuous looking breakfast is set next to a large four poster bed that is billowing with white curtains. I'm dressed in a pair of white Calvin Klein boxers for this scene and Liv is in a fluffy white bathrobe with her long hair swept up in to a messy ponytail, just like she has climbed out of bed.

Ava and Josh stand off to the side of the camera chatting and looking over schedules on their ipads. Ava's folks are seated towards the back of the room. They wanted to spend the day on set today to see what Liv gets up to while she is here. They look completely awed at everything that is going on around them.

We hear Mike yell "Places people," and Olivia and I make our way to the table to commence filming.

"Here we go Liv," I state.

She smiles and we get in to it, nailing the scene in only three takes.

I can hear Madeline coming down the hallway towards my dressing room just after eleven o'clock. At least she's punctual. Again, she's on her cell phone and whoever is on the other end is receiving an ear bashing. I hate it when she is in a mood like this.

She rounds the corner and pokes her finger on to the screen of her phone effectively cutting off the call.

"You ready to rehearse Ethan?"

"Yes. Where do you want to do this?"

"We can stay here if you like. Your dressing room is as comfortable as any," she says with a wave of her hand.

We grab the portion of script that we intend to rehearse and read over it. We both agree on the motivation for the argument in the scene and start to table read the lines before we get in to it.

"So," Madeline says. "How are you and Ava doing?"

She says Ava's name like its poison on her tongue.

"Ava and I are doing great, thanks for asking," I reply in a sarcastic tone.

"I'm sorry Ethan; I just don't see how it can go anywhere. I've said it once and I'll say it again; she doesn't belong in our world. You need to be with someone who can enhance your career, get you in the tabloids and shoot your rising star even higher."

"Not interested in any of that," I spit back. I don't want to argue with her. We need to be able to work together and I can't have tension between us on set. All I really want to do is tell her to shut her mouth and get out of my sight.

_Wishful thinking._

This is none of her business.

She starts up again. This time I need to put a stop to it. I raise my hand, motioning for her to be quiet. She looks at me with disdain. "Madeline, this is none of your business. You have no right to tell me who I can and cannot date. I don't want to discuss this with you and I don't want you anywhere near Ava. Leave her alone. Don't bring this up with me again, and we'll be fine. Understood?"

"Fine," she replies turning her back to me like a scolded child, and looking back down at the script in front of her. "I'm just trying to look out for you Ethan."

"Well I don't need you to, so let's drop it okay."

She nods and turns the page on her script with a sharp flick of her wrist.

I don't know why Madeline is so troubled over the fact that I'm dating Ava. It could either be the fact that she seems to harbour a hatred for Ava that has come out of nothing, or maybe she doesn't like to see any of us interact outside of the Hollywood circle.

Fucking ridiculous I know.

A tiny part of me is hoping that she is not being difficult because she's interested in me. I don't think that would be the case as we've known each other for some time and neither of us has expressed any interest before.

I've never been attracted to her; she's too high maintenance for me.

I look down to see what page of the script she is on and turn mine to the same one.

"Let's rehearse," I state.

She looks up and smiles. "I'm on page four; shall we start from the top?"

I nod and we begin.

This scene takes place in a restaurant. Our characters are arguing. Madeline is playing Isabel Ross, the woman that my character - Marcus Lyons - used to date before marrying Olivia's character in the movie. Madeline is perfectly suited to this role. Her character is nasty and conniving and is trying to win me back even though I've married someone else.

This scene is a pivotal part of the film as Madeline's character tries to seduce mine to get him back. Unfortunately Olivia's character witnesses the exchange which leads to a climatic turn in the movie's story. We have the dialogue down perfectly, but we both need to get in to the right head space to act out such a fiery argument which ultimately ends in Madeline trying to kiss me.

We begin the dialogue on the pages, arguing back and forth while Madeline tries to win me over.

I must admit she's good.

She's actually very good.

She almost has me hooked. She turns her body towards me and places her hands over mine, acting out the scene and staring in to my eyes. We're both completely lost to our characters and it feels great to be so absorbed. Madeline repeats the last line of her dialogue and moves towards me, aiming for a kiss.

My eyes dart towards a movement in the doorway as Madeline's hand reaches my cheek. Ava is standing there looking like she is about to be sick.

I jump so quickly from my seat that my script scatters all over the floor.

"We're just rehearsing the restaurant scene babe, it's okay."

I wrap my arms around her and place a kiss on top of her head. She's lightly shaking. I release her but keep one arm around her waist, pulling her close to my side. She looks like she's about to bolt.

Ava looks to Madeline who is watching this whole exchange with an amused grin on her perfectly made-up face. Being the better person, Ava says, "Good morning Madeline." She smiles, but the smile doesn't reach her eyes, it's taking all her effort to keep it there.

Madeline stands and simply responds with - "Ava." She marches past us and then turns back towards me. "Ethan we only have a couple of days before we shoot that scene, we need more rehearsal time. I'll get Lucy to call Josh to schedule another time." With that she leaves the room, leaving the air filled with her expensive spicy perfume.

"Are you okay?" I ask Ava, almost scared to hear her response. I cup her face with my hands and run my thumbs along her soft cheeks.

She nods, but unconvincingly. "I'm fine. Sorry Ethan, it's just going to take me some time to get used to this whole acting thing and what goes with it. I hate seeing you in the arms of another woman, whether it's real or not. I just had a tiny freak-out when I saw the two of you wrapped up in that scene together."

I pull her to my lap on the sofa and bury my face in her neck taking in her scent. "Ava, I love you, always and ever, there's no one else. You don't need to worry about that."

She pulls back and takes my face in her hands as she places her soft lips on mine, and kisses me with every emotion she can muster to show me that she feels the exact same way.

By the time we wrap filming for the day I've had a text back from Grayson. He suggests that we take Ava's dad golfing the next morning at the club where his grandfather is a member. He even suggests that I drive the golf buggy and let them play so that I don't embarrass myself - _smart ass!_

I reply telling him that we'll meet him at the club at 7am.

I then text Ava to let her know that I'll pick her Dad up from her apartment at 6.30am. I also tell her that I miss her. She and Olivia are taking their parents out to dinner tonight to catch up so I didn't want to intrude on that, even though she wanted me to.

I decide to pay Nanny Grace a quick visit on my way home, so I turn my car towards the Nursing Home and crank up the Bon Jovi on my stereo. Today has been a fuckin' good day.

#

# Birthdays

#

Liv and I have had the most wonderful time with our parents over the past couple of days. We've done a lot of sightseeing and I've seen more of LA since they arrived than I have in the whole time I've been here.

Mum took us shopping yesterday while the boys went golfing. She spent a fortune on us, buying both Liv and I lots of new clothes and shoes. She loved it and kept saying that she was always happiest when she was spoiling her girls

Dad had a great time golfing with Ethan and Grayson. Ryan couldn't join them, so it was just the three of them. Dad kept commenting on the fact that he kicked both the boy's asses at golf, but refrained from saying that they weren't very good, although he did imply it on more than one occasion.

I love Ethan so much for taking him out there and making that effort. I know he doesn't like golfing, so it made it even more special to me that he did that.

My parents both really like Ethan, and we've all spent as much time together as possible. I even introduced them to Nanny Grace. Mum and Nanny got along so well, it was like they were long lost friends, but then Nanny has that effect on everyone she meets.

Today is my birthday and Ethan is taking us all out to dinner tonight, but I don't know where. He also mentioned a surprise he has for me and I can't wait to see what it is.

He texted me first thing this morning, in fact his text came through just as I opened my eyes to the morning sun.

**Happy birthday beautiful. Love you. E x**

I decide to get the kettle on and start on breakfast for everyone. I pull my hair up in to a knot on top of my head and make my way to my bathroom to splash some water on my face. When I make my way to the kitchen, my mum is already there, frying bacon and scrambling eggs. Dad is sitting at the table out on the patio, enjoying the warm weather and reading the newspaper.

"Good morning birthday girl." Mum comes around the breakfast island and wraps her arms around me, giving me a tight squeeze.

"Thanks Mum."

"There's my girl," says my dad, "Happy Birthday Princess."

"Ta Dad."

"Go out and relax with daddy sweetheart. I'll bring breakfast out in a moment. We'll do presents when Liv is up." Mum motions to the patio with the spatula in her hand and I head out there to take a seat with my father, squinting in the early morning sun.

Dad finishes the article he is reading and folds up the paper, placing it down on the table and folding his hands in front of him.

"Sooo," he says, "Ethan hey?" My Dad loves to tease Liv and I about boys. He always has. He has been using this same tone on me since my first pseudo-boyfriend in kindergarten.

All that aside, whenever he does this it still makes me feel a bit nervous and clammy all of a sudden.

I feel a smile break out across my face and Dad returns it.

"He's a very nice guy sweetie and he seems to really love you. Couldn't stop talking about you when we were golfing; or at least when he was _trying_ to golf," my dad says with a laugh. "That Grayson was a damn nice fella too, asked after Olivia, is there anything going on there?"

I shake my head no. "Liv is with Ryan, Grayson is just a friend."

Dad nods in acceptance.

He smiles at me and says, "So much for the _no American men_ rule hey?"

I chuckle and respond, "I know. I wasn't very good at sticking to that rule. Was I?"

"No you weren't. Just remember that your mum and I are always there if you need us. We may be on the other side of the world but we are only a phone call away."

"I know. I appreciate that."

Dad leans over and gives me a tight squeeze. He whispers into my ear, "He's a nice guy Ava, I approve." He pulls back and gives me a wink just as Mum places plates of breakfast in front of us both, followed by steaming cups of green tea.

Liv finally joins us on the patio as we are about to tuck in to our plates, wearing her sunglasses and a huge smile. We eat breakfast together as a family for the first time in a long time and it feels so nice to be here with the three of them. I feel safe, wrapped up in this little cocoon of a family.

Just like I always have.

I couldn't ask for a better way to start my special day.

Mum, Dad and Liv have all bought me gorgeous gifts and I feel incredibly spoilt.

As we wrap up breakfast, I check my watch and realise that we've all talked the morning away and I need to grab a shower before Ethan arrives. He's taking me out today, just the two of us, and then we'll all regroup for dinner. I don't know where we're going but Ethan has asked me to bring my bikini. Olivia is taking my parents down Rodeo Drive today. We all have a day off from filming as we have a packed seven day schedule starting in a couple of days.

I give my parents and Liv a final kiss and hug and excuse myself to get ready.

Butterflies deep dive in my tummy. Just thinking about spending the day alone with him is enough to have me all worked up.

A smile breaks across my face as I walk to my bathroom. I realise that I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

Ethan Drake is _mine_ , and more than that, _I_ am his.

Ethan has turned his car onto the road that runs next to Santa Monica Beach. I recognise the theme park on the pier. The sun is bright in the sky and LA's finest are out appreciating it. There are families, couples, dog walkers and street vendors lining the street and the sand.

We park the car, and Ethan moves to the trunk to retrieve a basket and two towels. I grab my beach bag and hat and we walk hand-in-hand to a quiet spot on the sand.

Ethan puts a cap and sunglasses on, as much to hide from any prying eyes as it is to shelter him from the sun's rays.

"I thought we could have a birthday picnic."

"I love that idea," I reply, leaning up to place a light kiss on his lips.

Of course a quick kiss is never enough for Ethan and he deepens it, dropping the picnic basket to the ground and circling his hand around my neck to hold me to him.

Once satisfied he pulls back. "I had the chef pack us a picnic, there's chicken salad, fresh fruit, choc dipped strawberries, 'coz I know they're your favourite, and sugar coated donuts, 'coz they're my favourite."

He smiles, showing his dimples and I can't help but laugh.

We lay out the towels and the feast that Ethan has brought for us, and we toast one another with _Diet Coke_.

"Happy birthday babe," he says.

"Thanks," I reply giving him a smile and taking a sip of the fizzy drink, wincing as the bubbles tickle my nose.

"I have presents." Ethan states.

As he turns I catch a glimpse of the inside of his wrist and there is a large piece of white gauze taped there. I grab it in my hand and he winces.

"What happened?" I ask in a panic.

"Nothing happened babe. I'm fine." He pulls back a piece of the tape and removes the gauze. There on his wrist is my name in simple flowing script with a small black heart to the side of it.

Ava

"This is your first present," he states proudly.

"You got my name tattooed on to your wrist?" I ask in astonishment.

He nods and takes my hand. "Do you like it?"

I nod but can't seem to form any words.

If I was in any doubt as to how Ethan felt about me, then this has completely erased any concern. He has branded himself with my name, in the most permanent way possible. I feel giddy and excited and so in love with him that it consumes me.

I place a kiss on his lips, overwhelmed by his gesture. I kiss his wrist gently over the script that bears my name, ensuring not to hurt him. It is still a little red around the edges and it looks like it is smeared with some sort of antiseptic cream.

He smiles and turns back to the basket and gives me a small blue box with a white satin bow; it's a box from Tiffany and Co. I can't help my excitement and I climb on to my knees bouncing up and down and clapping at the same time.

Ethan laughs and says, "This is your second gift. Open it."

I almost don't want to open the gift and mess up the bow, but I don't tell him that. I slowly remove the lid from the box and find a small blue velvet drawstring bag inside. I pull the strings and pull out the most gorgeous ring I've ever seen. It's large and silver with the words _I Love You_ engraved on the outside of it. It is so thick that it will span from the base of my finger, half way to my knuckle. I adore it.

Tears well in my eyes as I look up to Ethan.

His face drops. "If you don't like it I can return it and change it for something else."

I shake my head. "No, no I love it; I just can't believe that you got this for me, and from _Tiffany's_."

Ethan takes the ring from the palm of my hand. "I had it engraved on the inside too," he says.

I take the ring back from him and look inside the band. It says:

Always, Ethan x

I love it.

He takes the ring and places it on to my right ring finger. It's a perfect fit. He kisses the inside of my palm and drops it to my knees, turning back to the picnic basket.

He opens his palm to reveal a second Tiffany box. My mouth drops open and I shake my head. "Ethan one gift is enough, plus the tattoo," I motion to the box in his hand; "...this is too much."

He laughs, "You don't even know what it is yet. Open it."

Again I untie the perfect white bow and remove the lid of the box to reveal another blue velvet pouch. This time I pull out a delicate double strand silver bracelet with the infinity symbol entwined on it.

My voice comes out as a whisper, "I love it. Thank you." I throw my arms around his neck and bury my face in to his hair, inhaling his wonderful scent mixed with the smell of the sand and sea. I breathe on to his neck, "I love you."

"I love you more," he responds, with a smile against my cheek.

He fastens the bracelet around my wrist and takes my hand, entwining our fingers.

I smile; still feeling like all this is make-believe, and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

We attack the gourmet food that is set out before us and enjoy the sunshine and each other's company. After we've eaten our fill, Ethan says, "Let's walk."

We pack the leftover contents of the picnic basket and grab the towels, placing them all back in to the trunk of Ethan's car. He grabs out another bag and takes my hand again, walking us back down to the sand.

"What's in the bag?"

"You'll see," he says with a sly grin, not giving me any more detail.

He stops at the point where the dry sand turns wet due to the incoming tide. He drops to his knees and opens the bag, revealing two buckets and spades. I throw my head back and laugh, remembering our conversation in Hawaii. Ethan has never built sandcastles before and I promised that I would teach him.

"I love this, almost as much as I love you."

"Come on and show me how to do this," he says looking up at me through his dark lashes. I drop down beside him on the sand and before I can reach for the spade he has rolled me under him, positioning his body over mine and staring deep in to my eyes.

"Happy birthday," he breathes.

I smile up at him as he leans his gorgeous face to mine and covers my lips with his. His kiss is soft and sweet, slow and savouring, he's taking his time today and that suits me just fine.

"Thank you for my gorgeous gifts and for such a special day. I feel like a princess."

"You are. You're my princess." He places another kiss to my mouth before moving back up on to his knees and pulling me with him. "Now show me how to do this," he says as he hands me a small plastic spade.

We build a huge sandcastle, adding shells to decorate the sides, before the tide comes in and washes it all away.

We finish up making sand angels in the sand and drawing a large love heart around them, just like I did on our first date in Hawaii.

"Let's make this a birthday tradition," Ethan says. "We'll come here every year on your birthday and do exactly this. One day we can bring our kids too."

My heart speeds up at the thought.

I see myself with Ethan forever, he is my happily ever after, and I've never even considered that exists. I haven't even thought about kids at this point, but it sends a thrill of excitement through my bones to think of having children with him. It warms my heart to know that he is thinking the same way as I am. The tattoo has given me an unspoken promise of forever.

"I'd love that," I reply.

"C'mon babe, we need to get back. We have dinner reservations to get to and we need to wash this sand away. I have my clothes with me, can I get ready at your place, will your folks mind?"

"Of course not, they love you."

He interlocks our fingers as he leads me back to the car. Like always, sparks of electricity fire through my veins.

I think life with him will always be like this and I can't ask for more.

Ethan pulls out my chair for me when we arrive at Katsuya for dinner. I love Japanese food and I've wanted to try this restaurant for ages. There is a gorgeous red origami heart sitting at my place setting. I open it and it reads:

I love you. x

I lean up and place a kiss on his full red lips in thanks.

He has booked a large table so there must be a few extra people joining us. Soon after we arrive, we are joined by Liv and Ryan, Mum and Dad, Grayson, Josh and Chelsea, and even Nanny Grace. Ethan has even invited some of my other friends from work. He's thought of everything. The food is exquisite, the company is amazing and the birthday cake that follows the meal is breathtaking and delicious.

Grayson suggests that we all head out for drinks afterwards. We end up at a small lounge bar with Liv, my mum, my dad and Grayson. Ryan had to head home due to an early meeting so he offered to drive Nanny Grace back to the Nursing Home. He's such a nice guy.

Josh and Chelsea also headed home.

My dad insists on buying the drinks because Ethan insisted on covering the cost of everyone's dinner. They are both such alpha-males.

After we've all had a few drinks, we get up and dance to the small band that has taken the stage. I don't think I've ever had a birthday as good as this, and I can't imagine anything that could top it.

I look to my right and see my parents lovingly embracing one another on the dance floor. Grayson is twirling Liv around on the other side of them and they are both laughing out loud.

I turn my gaze to Ethan. He is looking down at me with so much adoration in his eyes that it almost stops me in my tracks.

This man that is holding me in his arms as we sway to the music is everything to me and my heart swells with love for him.

Life is good.

My only hope is that it stays this way.

#

# I Didn't See That Coming

#

I flick on the indicator to signal my turn in to the Nursing Home.

The past couple of days since Ava's birthday have been a whirlwind. Ava's parents return home to Australia tomorrow and we've been so busy showing them around and making the most of the time that we all have together. They're really great people and I now see where Ava and Olivia get their spark for life from.

Ava's dad scared the shit out of me when I first met him, but he's a really great guy.

We commenced seven straight days of filming yesterday and the schedule over the next few days in particular, is really tight. We have quite a few location shoots and a few night shoots as well.

Tonight is the charity concert that Grayson got us all tickets to. I'm pumped to see Ava's reaction when she finds out where we are going and especially who she is going to meet. She's going to freak.

I promised Nanny Grace that I would come by and visit her today before heading out to the concert this evening. We need to have this conversation that is so important to her. I'm really anxious to see what it's all about, so it's time to get it done.

I pull in to a car spot in the front of the Nursing Home and remove my sunglasses before stepping out in to the sunshine.

I enter Nanny's room and she doesn't even notice my approach. She's been more quiet and reflective since the stroke. I think it's taken more of a toll on her than she is admitting.

She is staring out the window in to the courtyard, focused on something outside. Her brows are drawn and the creases on her face look more pronounced. I hate to see her looking like this.

"Hey Nanny."

She turns her head and gives me a tight smile, certainly not her usual greeting. She's wringing her hands nervously in her lap.

After placing a light kiss on her cheek, I take the seat opposite her and lean forward to take one of her hands.

"Nanny what is it? Talk to me."

"Ethan sweetheart there is so much that I want to tell you, that I _need_ to tell you. I am so sorry that I've kept this to myself for so long but I was legally bound to. After what I've been through I know I can't leave this world without telling you everything that you need to know. I need you to listen carefully to what I need to say. Okay?"

I nod warily, nervous about what is about to be revealed.

"You have brought me so much joy. You are the light of my life." She says with a smile.

"I've held on to this information because I was asked to do so by your mother. I signed legally binding documents when you were born to ensure that I didn't divulge this to anyone. I'm doing this now because I love you and you deserve the truth." Nanny takes a deep breath, readying herself to continue.

I sit back in the chair and take a deep breath to ready myself for whatever is coming.

"I met your mother when she was filming _The Eternal Bargain_ , it was twelve months or so before you were born. She co-starred in that film with Grant..."

"...Martin." I finish. "Yes I know that Nanny."

Grant Martin has had a long career as a film actor in Hollywood, but he's moved more to the theatre in recent years.

"What you don't know is that Grant and your mother had a very passionate affair during filming. I think your mother fell madly in love with him, but Grant was married and wouldn't leave his wife at the time, so the affair couldn't possibly go anywhere. Grant cared deeply for your mother but he didn't want to create a scandal at the time by divorcing his wife. Things were a little different in those days. Your mother found out that she was pregnant just as filming was about to wrap. She was terrified, sweetheart. Scared to tell Grant and scared of what she was going to do. Her career was everything to her."

"Still is," I mutter under my breath. Nanny gives me a small smile and continues.

"Grant was over the moon when your mother eventually told him about the pregnancy. He said he would help her through all of it and take responsibility for the baby. Of course this meant that he had to come clean to his wife about what he had done, and of course that was the end of his marriage. He managed to keep most of it out of the papers, and they thankfully only reported about the demise of his marriage and not the reason behind it."

My heart is beating furiously and despite my determination to know the truth, my voice comes out as a breathless whisper. "So are you telling me that Grant Martin is my father?"

"Please sweetheart, let me continue and then we can talk about it. I know this is a lot for you to take in but you need to know."

I nod and shut my mouth waiting for Nanny to continue.

"Your mother and Grant tried to pick up their relationship once his wife had left but they were too different; or maybe too alike. As you can imagine, they both had huge egos, they were both big stars, they were stubborn and always arguing. It wasn't a healthy relationship for either of them, especially for Elizabeth given the state she was in. She became difficult once she hit the twenty week mark of the pregnancy. She stopped talking to Grant, stopped taking his calls altogether, and all but disappeared from the spotlight. Grant tried desperately to get hold of her and eventually he went to her house and beat on the door until she agreed to see him. He found out that day that your mother was expecting twins."

I feel the blood drain from my face, while at the same time the air leaves my lungs in one loud breath. I stand abruptly, running my hands through my hair and start to pace in Nanny's small room.

"Ethan, please sit down."

"I'm sorry Nanny but I'm having a hard time here. I think you're telling me that Grant is my father and that I have a sibling out there... unless, _Oh God_ , did the other baby die?"

She reaches her hand back to me. "Come sit back down and allow me to finish." It's the same tone she used to use on me when I was younger and misbehaving. I don't like hearing it on her now.

I stay near the window, peering outside and crossing my arms defensively across my chest. I can't look at Nanny right now, there are too many thoughts going through my head. "Please just keep going Nanny."

"You need to understand that your mother was so scared about what a pregnancy outside marriage would do to her career. She was Hollywood's golden girl. She hid out at the house throughout so no one could photograph her. She allowed Grant to come and go once she told him about the fact that she was expecting twins, but she was difficult."

Nanny takes a sip of water from the glass that sits beside her before continuing. "She talked about adoption, thinking two babies would be too much for her to handle. After speaking with Grant, her Manager and her Agent, she decided that one baby was all she was willing and able to raise. A selfish decision I know, but it was hers. She thought she could play it out well with the media and sure enough she did."

That's the understatement of the year but I keep that to myself. This is hard enough as it is.

"Grant was devastated. He begged and pleaded with her to keep both babies together. He offered to take both and let her see them whenever she wanted to but she had already made up her mind. After much discussion and pleading on Grant's behalf they decided that Elizabeth would raise one baby and Grant would raise the other."

Tears sting the back of my eyes. I take a deep cleansing breath. I will not cry. I won't let my mother's selfish actions continue to hurt me. I run my hand roughly down my face trying to erase the ache that is taking over my body.

I turn to Nanny and see love, hurt, betrayal and pain in her wearied features. I know this has been difficult for her to keep from me. I know she is having a hard time telling me all of this, but right now all I feel is numb.

"I'm nearly there," she says in a soft voice. She has always been able to see when I'm close to breaking down, and I know she can sense it now; she is treading carefully with me.

I run my hands back through my hair in frustration. I take another deep breath and lower myself back in to the chair, keeping my gaze on Nanny.

She takes a sip of the tea that also sits beside her and places the cup back on to the saucer with shaky hands. The china clatters together as they make contact, betraying her.

"They decided that they would each raise a baby, totally independent of the other. No contact, no responsibility for the baby that each was leaving behind. Legal documents were drawn up stipulating the details. The few medical staff that were involved with the delivery all had to sign non-disclosure agreements so that the birth of twins would not be leaked to the world press. They were all also paid handsomely for their discretion. Grant's name was not included on the Birth Certificates and Elizabeth did not allow him to be present at the birth so no one could link the fact that the babies were his."

" _Babies?_ " I ask.

"Yes, Babies. Your mother had non-identical twins, a boy and a girl. Sweetheart you have a sister."

My body feels like it is slumping in to the chair with the weight of everything that Nanny has just told me. I cannot fucking believe that I've never been told any of this, but at the same time, a small thrill goes through me at the fact that I have a family, a father and a sister. It has always just been my mother and I and she was never maternal. Family has always been something that I craved. Now it could be a reality for me.

"Nanny, how did you come to know all of this? Why did my mother confide in you?" I can't understand how Nanny fits in to this entangled mess.

"Your mother didn't confide in me darling, your father did. Grant Martin is my son Ethan, and you my darling are my grandson."

The continual rush of blood that is pounding through my body now congregates to my head, resulting in a splitting headache. This is all too much for me to take in at once. I can feel my blood pressure rising as I process everything that Nanny is telling me.

She is staring at me with scared eyes, worried that this latest revelation has pushed me over the edge, and I think it just may have.

I find my voice but again it comes out as a quiet stutter, "So... so you're my grandmother, my real grandmother?"

Nanny nods. "Ethan sweetheart, I have always cared for you, I love you with all my heart. All these years I knew what we were to each other but I couldn't tell you. I shouldn't be telling you now. This can get me in to a lot of trouble. I've broken every promise I made to your mother and my son, you have to swear to me that you will keep this to yourself."

"How can I do that Nanny? I want to meet my father; I want to meet my sister."

Nanny's brow creases and she starts to wring her hands nervously again. "All in good time. You need to process what I've told you, keep it confidential and together we can decide how best to move forward. You can't tell anyone, do you understand, no one, not Ava, not Grayson, definitely not your mother, no one."

I feel like stamping my fists and feet and having a full blown tantrum like I did when I was younger. How can Nanny expect me to keep it to myself? This is life changing information. I feel like the tornado of emotions I'm experiencing is going to burst out of my body and manifest itself as a scream.

I want to scream and punch and yell.

I want Ava.

"So let me get this clear. Grant Martin is my father and you are my grandmother?"

"Yes sweetheart." Nanny looks nervous again, like she knows what my next question is going to be.

"So Grant is raising my sister?" I ask. Nanny nods and I continue, "...she's my twin sister?"

Nanny nods again. "Non-identical sweetheart, but your twin sister all the same."

"Do you see her Nanny?"

"Only in passing, she has no idea who I am to her. Even though you aren't identical darling, I see your mannerisms in her too. In other ways you are both very different," she states.

My hands start to shake knowing that I'm so close to knowing more about my family. Something that I've always dreamed of but never ever thought could be my reality.

"When your parents decided on the split custody arrangement my son came to me. He was devastated that he wouldn't be a part of one of his children's lives. He begged me to talk to Elizabeth. I called her and we met. Your mother was young and scared and I felt for her too. I may not have agreed with her decision but I didn't want her to be alone. We had a big discussion and I offered my help with raising you. Not only was this going to assist Elizabeth, who had a number of movies lined up to film following your birth, but it also ensured that your father had a direct line to you."

I can't believe that this is my life.

It feels surreal.

Like I'm on set, filming a scene in a movie.

This kind of shit isn't supposed to happen in real life.

Nanny continues. "All these years I've kept him updated on your progress, your achievements. The office in his home is full of scrap books with your pictures and newspaper clippings in them, safely tucked away of course. He's extremely proud of you Ethan; you've followed in his footsteps."

Tears burn the back of my eyes. I take a deep breath to try and calm my raging heart and rub my hand roughly over my head to try and take a minute to comprehend all this.

_Breathe Ethan, just breathe._

How different my life could've been if my parents had stayed together, or if my father had raised me. What I would have given to have been raised by a parent that showed their pride in me.

"Your mother and I reached an agreement where I would be your Nanny until you turned eighteen. The years I've spent with you have been the best of my life. I understand if this betrayal is something that you can't get past with me sweetheart, but just know that I love you more than anything." Nanny's voice breaks and tears cloud her vision as she reaches to the table beside her for a tissue.

I can't stand to see her so upset.

I'm devastated that this has all been kept from me, but Nanny has been the only constant in my life. She's the only person to have loved me unconditionally since birth. She has cared for me where both my parents have failed. She loves me enough to ensure that I know the truth now, and I love her for that.

I move to the chair and wrap my arms around her. She sobs in to my shirt, her tears soaking the fabric. "Please don't cry. I know this must have been hard for you to keep from me all this time. You've always been here for me. I love you so much. I'm trying to process what you've told me, and I can tell you one thing. I've never been so happy to find out who my real grandmother is; I'm so damn proud that it is you."

I pull back and Nanny looks up at me through her tear soaked eyes.

"Nanny, you've given up your life to raise me. I'm sure it's had its toll on your relationship with my father, and you've missed out on being there for my sister too. You spent every moment with me as I was growing up, every holiday, every special occasion. They missed out on that with you."

She gives me a watery smile. The first since I arrived.

"I know that living with my mother has not been an easy life for you, so in my book you've sacrificed so much for me. You're my rock Nanny and my life would've been nothing without you in it."

She places her shaky hands on either side of my face and places a kiss on my forehead. "I love you Ethan. No time spent with you was ever a sacrifice to me, I wouldn't change anything about my life. We'll get through this together. We just need to take it one step at a time. There are other people's lives that this affects. Okay?"

I nod in acceptance, "Okay."

"Wait Nanny, you need to tell me about my sister."

Nanny sucks in a sharp breath and takes my hand.

"Ethan sweetheart, this is the part that will take you most by surprise. I know that probably doesn't seem possible after what I've told you. You've already met your sister sweetie."

There goes the blood draining from my face again as my mind begins to spin. I start replaying all the females I've ever met in my life to try and pinpoint who it could be. I place my hands between my knees as they visibly begin to shake. I can't think of anyone I know with the surname _Martin_.

"Who is she Nanny?"

Nanny looks to the floor and then her head comes up, placing her eyes directly in front of mine, and then she drops the bomb...

"Ethan sweetheart, Madeline Rose is your sister. Rose is her middle name; her full name is Madeline Rose Martin."

The first thought in my mind is.... _Fuck!_

#

# Jason Derulo

#

I'm adding the final touches to my make-up when I hear Ethan talking to Liv in the kitchen. My heart speeds up just from the sound of his deep, gravelly voice floating down the hallway. I grab my clutch and my sweater and make my way out to him.

My breath catches in my throat when I see him. He looks amazing in his dark jeans and black shirt. His dirty blonde hair styled in that perfect way. He is so gorgeous.

I walk towards him and wrap my arms around his waist, getting as close as I can.

"Hey you," he says as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and leans down to kiss me hello. "You look stunning."

I'm wearing my new grey jersey dress that I bought for tonight. It drapes across my body and hangs to just above my knees. It's elegant, but edgy. I don't know where we are headed, but Liv does, and she thinks this dress is perfect, so I'm going with it. I've teamed it with high black ankle boots.

I run my hands in to Ethan's irresistible hair, tugging slightly just as he likes, and deepen our kiss, welcoming him to me.

"You two are too much," Liv says, as she leaves the room.

I giggle in to Ethan's mouth and pull back to see those baby blues. I notice the tension around his eyes first and then the stiff set of his shoulders.

Something's wrong.

"Babe, what's up?" I ask, my brow crinkling with my concern.

He fixes his face in the same way that he does before he is about to film a scene. I hate that he is doing that with me to hide whatever it is that's going on.

"Nothing. I'm good. Just a bit tired from the heavy shooting schedule. I don't want to worry about that tonight though; we have a surprise to get to."

He smiles a genuine smile, which helps to erase some of the fear that is seeping in to my bones. I know something is bothering him but I don't want to add to the tension he is feeling by pushing him. I'll let it go tonight and revisit the conversation with him tomorrow if I need to.

Mum, Dad and Liv round the corner and come in to the kitchen, ready to go. After kisses and handshakes between Ethan and my folks, we head out to Ethan's jeep.

After buckling in I turn to Ethan as he starts the ignition. "Do I get to know where we are going yet?"

He smiles and shakes his head. "Nope, still a surprise."

Mum, Dad and Liv are in on it and they all laugh at my impatience from the back seat. "You'll love it Sis, stop worrying," Olivia says.

"I'm not worried, I'm excited, and I want to know where we are headed."

Ethan turns his eyes towards me for a moment before looking back to the road ahead. "All I'll tell you is that we're going to the _Nokia Theatre_."

All the big artists in the world play at the _Nokia Theatre_ ; I wonder who we are going to see. Ethan did mention getting Beyoncé tickets for Joshua the other day, perhaps that's who we are seeing. I'd love that, she's fantastic.

Ethan pulls in to the car park and the valet takes his keys. He tips him and takes my hand tightly in his as we all head in to the theatre. I catch the banner that is hanging over the entrance, announcing that tonight is a charity concert. Then I catch a glimpse of the names of some of the artists that are playing, including Jason Derulo. I can't help the squeal that makes its way past my lips.

"You're taking me to see _Jason Derulo_? I can't believe it." I throw my arms around Ethan's neck and kiss him hard on the lips. My dad clears his throat from behind, indicating his discomfort with my public display of affection. I pull back reluctantly muttering, "Sorry Dad."

Ethan laughs as he tucks me back against his side. "Not only am I taking you to see Jason, but all the other artists on that banner too, they're all playing tonight. Guess who the opening act is?"

I shrug my shoulders.

" _Awesome Rebel_ ," Ethan states proudly.

" _Oh My God_ , Grayson and the guys must be so excited; I can't wait to see them."

"You'll get to see them after the show, Gray has arranged back stage passes for all of us, and he has arranged for Jason to say hi."

I think my feet are going to give way. I'm embarrassed that I'm having such a physical reaction to that, but I _love_ Jason Derulo and I'm so excited to meet him. I can't believe that Grayson and Ethan have arranged this. It feels like I have thousands of butterflies in my stomach and they are all flying in opposite directions trying to break free.

I look back up to the banner in awe of the names on it.

"C'mon, let's get to our seats," Ethan says, as he grabs my hand and drags me along behind him.

Grayson has arranged amazing seats for us. They are front and centre, and there are a large number of movie stars and celebrities in the surrounding seats, all doing their bit for charity and out to enjoy the night. I look to my mum and her face is as star-struck as mine is. She smiles at me and I return it, silently acknowledging the OMG moment that we are both having. Mum and I have always shared our celebrity obsession.

The lights dim and the spotlights illuminate Grayson on the stage. He looks amazing in this large venue. I feel a huge sense of pride for him. The band is really going places. Gray counts the band in and they start in on the first of many of their hit songs. The crowd is on their feet by the third one, everyone is dancing, and even my dad is up.

By the time Grayson has finished the set, the crowd is on fire.

A number of prominent artists follow _Awesome Rebel_ , all of them more famous than the one before, until they announce that Jason Derulo is taking the stage. Ethan looks to me and wiggles his eye brows at me before starting to laugh, he loves to tease me.

By the time Jason strolls on to the stage, I am vibrating with excitement. He launches in to one of my favourite songs, _The Other Side_ and I'm jumping and dancing along with the rest of the crowd, lost in his voice and mesmerised by his dance moves. He plays a full thirty minute set and covers off most of his number one songs. He is incredible. By the end of it I am sweating from all the dancing and adrenaline that is running through my veins.

By the time the final applause and cheers have died down, Ethan stands and moves us towards the backstage area. Each of us is wearing a pass on a lanyard to allow us access.

We make our way through a darkened area and into a large lit space that is overflowing with all the artists that we have just seen on stage, as well as many more famous faces. Grayson spots us from across the room and excuses himself from the person he is talking to. A cheeky grin is in place on that gorgeous face of his.

Ethan and Gray do their normal weird hand shake thing, and then Grayson bends to hug me. "Grayson, thanks so much for letting us come tonight, this was beyond amazing."

"I'm glad you liked it," he replies with a smile.

"You guys were incredible."

"Thanks, it felt pretty amazing being up there on that stage. What did you think of Jason?" he says with a wink.

I just shake my head. "Words cannot describe it," I respond.

Grayson laughs and moves to Liv, "Hey Liv." He hugs her and whispers something in to her ear causing her to laugh.

He kisses my mum on her cheek and shakes my dad's hand before turning us all towards a large bar that is overflowing with drinks.

Ethan takes my hand and introduces me to a few people that he knows in the Industry, many of them females who look over me with an appraising eye, trying to see how I've landed the gorgeous celebrity beside me. I'm glad that I have my grey dress on, it gives me confidence and goes some of the way to making me feel worthy of being with the beautiful man beside me.

There are photographers everywhere snapping shots of all the famous faces; no doubt we will be on the entertainment news again tomorrow.

I turn to see Grayson gesturing for me to join him. I pull on Ethan's hand to grab his attention, "Grayson is calling us over."

Ethan and I say goodbye to the people we're talking to and head to Gray. As I get closer I realise that he is speaking to none other than Jason Derulo. My palms grow sweaty and my heart picks up its rhythm. I start to feel a little light-headed.

"I don't want to do this," I say to Ethan, stopping mid-step and pulling him back to me.

He smiles down at me and cocks his head to the side, "Why not?"

"I don't know what to say, I'll just embarrass myself and you..."

"C'mon babe, you'll be fine, he's just a person like me, Olivia...."

I shake my head, "No, you don't understand, I really love him and I'm just so nervous."

Ethan bends his head down and whispers against my ear. "I'm not sure that I'm happy that my girl is having such a reaction to another guy. Am I going to have to beat his ass?"

I give him a look and he laughs. I hate that he is so in control when I'm losing it.

He pulls me forward and I focus my eyes on Grayson, who is smiling at me.

Gray extends his hand to me once we reach them and introduces me to Jason. "Jason these are very special friends of mine, Ethan and Ava. Ava is a big fan of yours."

_Great Grayson, make me look like more of a loser than I already am!_

Jason shakes both of our hands. "Ethan, nice to meet you man. Ava, great to meet you too."

I can't talk because my tongue seems to have lost its ability to move of its own free will, so I just smile like a lunatic and hope that my vocal chords kick back in soon.

Ethan, Grayson and Jason continue a conversation about the show and the movie Ethan is shooting, and all the while I just stare at Jason, not sure what to do. If this is what it's like to be totally star struck, then I don't like it. I feel like a total idiot. My body is letting me down in every way, and I can't fire up my synapses to make it re-boot.

Ethan lightly squeezes my hand, trying to bring me back to Earth. Jason turns his smile to me and asks, "What did you think of the show?"

I take a deep breath, willing my voice to work; it comes out as a squeak. "You were amazing, just incredible, I loved it." The words fly out of my mouth so fast that the three guys are now trying not to laugh at me, but failing miserably.

"Excuse Ava Jason, she's a bit star struck by you," Ethan says with a smile.

"It's always great to meet a fan." Jason replies kindly.

Ethan suggests that we get a photo, so I stand beside Jason while he shoots a few photos with Grayson and I, before Jason excuses himself and makes his way to the group beside us.

I let out the breath that I didn't realise that I was holding and look up to see both Ethan and Grayson doubled over in laughter.

"That was the funniest thing I've ever seen," Grayson says through his tears. "Ava you couldn't even speak."

"Are you okay babe?" Ethan asks, trying to control himself.

I feign anger. "Shut up both of you. I was a bit awe struck and didn't know what to say."

"No kidding," says Grayson, laughing again and holding his stomach as he does.

"Okay enough you two," I say. "Wait until you both have your star struck moments and then we'll talk."

"There's no one on this earth that I would react to like that," Grayson says.

"I would probably act like that if I met Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas," Ethan responds. I smile at his attempt to make me feel better about the pathetic display that I just put on.

"I need another drink," I announce.

I start to make my way back to Liv and my parents, trying to ignore Grayson's continued chuckling from behind me.

Liv and I leave our parents at the departure gate at LAX. We all had a little cry when we said goodbye, it's been so great having them here. I'm so pleased that they got along so well with Ethan. They really like him.

Liv and I have one hour before she is due in hair and make-up back at the Studio, so we hightail it to her little red car and head straight to Universal. We have a few heavy days of shooting ahead of us, long days and locations, so it's going to be really busy.

Ethan seemed fine while we were at the concert last night. I'm not sure what had him upset when he first arrived at my apartment, but it didn't let him spoil the evening. I'm still concerned about him though, so I need to make some time today to make sure he is okay.

We pull in to Olivia's parking spot and both make our way in to the building, readying ourselves for the long days and nights ahead.

#

# Madeline Rose

#

It's been two days since Nanny told me about my father and sister and I feel like I'm carrying around a ticking time bomb that is going to detonate at any second. I'm having trouble dealing with it all and I want so badly to talk to Ava about it, but I've made a promise to Nanny and I don't think it's fair to break that yet.

More than that, I think that Madeline deserves to know the truth. This is her story as much as it's mine. I'm not the only child that was affected by the stupid decision that our parents made.

Ava has picked up on my mood and has asked me numerous times if anything is upsetting me. I don't want to keep her in the dark, but I just can't tell her yet. Not only because of my promise to Nanny, but I feel like talking about it will make it more real, and at the moment I think I'm living in denial.

Nanny and I spoke last night and we decided to speak with Madeline about what happened tonight. That also means that I'm going to get to meet my father tonight.

I'm so fuckin' nervous.

Nanny has already told him that I'm aware of everything. She said that he took it well. I think in hindsight he knows that they made a fucked-up decision when we were born. Of course my mother is still totally oblivious to the fact that we're meeting, or that I know anything. I'm going to need to sit down and talk to her once Nanny and I decide how to broach it with her. She's going to be so pissed.

The first thing I need to do though is cancel my dinner with Ava tonight. Not something I want to do, but in this case it's necessary. I need to get this shit worked out so I can move forward and live my life with Ava.

I swipe across the screen of my iphone to activate the screen. I press Ava's details and press the green call button waiting for her to pick up. My heart is racing.

I hate keeping things from her.

She answers after a couple of rings. "Hi babe," she says with that gorgeous accent. _Will I ever get sick of hearing her call me that?_

"Hi beautiful, what are you up to?"

"I'm just waiting for Liv to finish removing all her make-up and then we're heading to the gym. I can't wait to see you tonight, I feel like we've hardly had any time together over the last few days with how busy we've been at work."

My heart clenches because I have to tell her that I'm cancelling on her tonight. I hate to disappoint her.

"About that, babe, I'm so sorry but something has come up with Nanny tonight and I have to cancel our dinner." At least that's not a total lie, this does involve Nanny.

The silence on the other end of the phone is palpable. Ava takes a deep breath before answering me, "Oh.... no worries, I'll just spend the night in, I'm pretty beat anyway. I hope Nanny is okay?"

I can hear the disappointment in her voice and damn if that doesn't rip my heart out. I almost decide to blurt out everything and bring Ava with me tonight for support, but I don't.

"Nanny's fine Ava, she just needs me to help her out tonight. I'll make it up to you tomorrow night babe. It'll just be you and me, all night."

She hesitates; I can hear her breathing down the line. "Ethan, are you sure that everything's okay, I mean if there's something wrong you can tell me."

She can see right through me, even at the other end of the telephone line. I need to lie to her to protect the lie that I've been living my entire life. It's not the right time to tell her yet.

"I'm fine babe, we're fine, don't worry. It's just tonight. I promise tomorrow night will be the best date we've ever had."

"Even better than the _Best First Date Ever_ that we had in Hawaii?" she asks. I can hear a smile in her voice so I think I've squashed any fears she had.

"Damn straight," I reply, "...it will be the best date anyone has ever had in the history of dating."

Ava laughs. "Well when you put it like that then I guess I can cope with missing you tonight. I love you."

"Love you too babe, so much." I reply.

_And I do._

Ava signs off and just like that she's gone. I take a steeling breath and head out to my car, ready to pick up Nanny and get this fucking thing started.

We pull in to the driveway of the luxury mansion that Madeline shares with her father, well, my father too.

Still trying to get my head around that.

Nanny takes my hand as I turn off the engine and turns to me. "Are you sure you're ready for this sweetheart?"

I shrug. "Ready as I'll ever be."

She squeezes my hand and we both exit the car, taking each other's hands as we move towards the front door. We ring the bell and are welcomed by a small lady with dark hair. She must be the housekeeper. It looks like Madeline has lived a similar lifestyle to what I have. That thought makes me sad for her. I can only hope that our father made her life easier than our mother made mine.

Instantly I feel a prick of jealousy.

_What if our father has given her a loving and secure life while mine has been so lacking in both?_

I push that thought from my head as we are ushered into a large sitting room that overlooks the backyard. Where my house is very much a show piece, with expensive furnishings and artwork, this house is a home.

There is comfortable, yet stylish furniture throughout the room, which is there for use, not just to look at. There are a lot of photographs of Madeline and her father on the walls; it feels cosy and welcoming, just as a home should.

The housekeeper leaves Nanny and I waiting as she alerts Madeline and Grant of our presence. My heart is flip flopping in my chest and my stomach feels like it is about to come up through my throat. Nanny senses my apprehension and takes my hand again, giving it a squeeze.

A moment later we turn and they are in front of us. Madeline has a confused expression on her face. "Ethan, what are you doing here?"

Great, obviously _our_ father failed to mention anything to her about our visit tonight.

Nanny moves her hand out of my grasp and moves forward to the man standing beside Madeline. I've seen him in movies before so of course I know what he looks like, but seeing him here in the flesh, I am overwhelmed by how alike we are.

He looks like an older version of me.

His blonde hair shows some sign of grey around the edges, but he still has it styled in his trademark messy way. The blue eyes that are staring back at me are mine. They're identical in shade and shape. He's the same height and build as I am, and he's dressed very well for an older guy.

Nanny reaches Grant and he bends to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Hi," he says and gives her warm smile.

Nanny turns back and looks from me to Madeline. "Shall we all sit and talk?" she suggests.

"What is this all about?" Madeline asks, irritated for being kept out of the loop.

Grant turns to Madeline and takes her hand. "Come sit darling, we have some things to discuss." The way he handles her calms her immediately. I've never seen anyone have that effect on Madeline; she is normally so forthright, bratty and demanding. They obviously have a good relationship.

That both warms and annoys me at the same time.

We all make ourselves comfortable on the sofa as the housekeeper serves us coffee. Once she has left the room we all stare at one another waiting to see who will speak first.

Grant keeps staring at me like he wants to say something, but until Madeline is in the loop, we can't acknowledge anything; it wouldn't be fair.

Nanny speaks up. "Perhaps I should explain why we are here to Madeline."

Grant and I nod.

All I can think is what a coward he is, making Nanny tell _his_ story. He and my mother are the ones that did this. They're the ones who should have to face the music, not Nanny.

For the next thirty minutes we all listen intently as Nanny explains to Madeline what she told me.

Madeline's eyes widen with shock at every new revelation. I notice that she doesn't let go of Grant's hand the whole time Nanny is talking. Madeline doesn't speak; she just listens and nods occasionally. She looks as dumbfounded as I feel.

Madeline's eyes fill with tears when Nanny tells her about our parents deciding to separate us and raise each of us independently of the other. She looks to her father for clarification, as if she is begging him to refute what Nanny is saying, but all she gets is a tight smile.

Once Nanny has finished telling Madeline everything, she turns to our father. "Daddy is all this true?"

"Yes baby girl, it is," he replies tightly.

Madeline stands, squares off her shoulders and looks between Nanny and I. She turns on her heel and heads down the hallway to the right of the room.

Grant moves to follow her but I put my hand up motioning for him to stop. "Let me go after her. If anyone understands how she's feeling right now, it's me."

Nanny and Grant nod silently and I make my way in the same direction I saw Madeline go.

I end up down a long corridor with many doors. I can hear her crying behind one of them, so I knock tentatively hoping that she will open it for me. "Madeline it's only me. Can we talk?"

The door opens slowly revealing Madeline with a tear-soaked face looking lost. Gone is the spoilt brat and the little-girl-lost is in her place. I instinctively wrap my arms around her and pull her to my chest. She doesn't fight me; she just continues to sob into my chest. She knows that I'm the only person that can fully understand how she feels.

After a few minutes she pulls back and looks in to my eyes. "How long have you known?"

"Only a few days. Nanny told me. She thought it was important for us to know the truth after she had the stroke. She was scared that she would die without us knowing what had happened," I explain.

Madeline nods and cries quietly. "How could they have done this to us? I mean my whole life I've wanted a mother. My father, sorry _our_ father, has given me a great life and so much love, but something was always missing. To find out now that I have a mother who is alive, along with a twin brother, and that Nanny is my grandmother, it's a little much to take in."

"Did Grant tell you that your mother had died?" I ask. I can't call him _our_ father out loud yet, it still doesn't sit right with me.

"No, he just said that she didn't want to be part of our lives. I didn't want to try and find her in case she rejected me when I did, so I've never tried." She drops her face in to her hands and starts to cry again.

"Well let me tell you Madeline, you didn't miss anything by not being with our mother. If you ask me, you got the good end of the bargain."

She lifts her face to mine. "What do you mean? I love the fact that Elizabeth Drake is my mother. I've always liked her; we've always had so much to talk about when we've seen one another over the years. I've always felt a connection to her, now I know why."

There it is - the fact that Madeline is most definitely our mother's daughter. They are so alike in many ways. I've always thought that.

I decide not to say any more to her about our mother. They can work on their demons together; I want nothing to do with that. My relationship with my mother is so far gone, that I couldn't really care less.

"Ethan - how is this going to affect us? What will happen when people find out? What if the media find out about it, imagine the tabloids," her eyes looked panicked all of a sudden.

"Calm down Madeline, no one knows any of this except for the four of us. This has to be kept private. We're going to have to speak to our mother too. I don't plan on telling anyone yet until we've sorted all this out. They've managed to keep it out of the tabloids for 23 years; I can't see why we can't continue to keep it quiet."

She nods.

"C'mon," I say, "... let's head back out to speak with Nanny and Grant."

Madeline takes a deep breath and stands to follow me out the door. Before we make our way out to the hallway she stops and taps me on the shoulder. I turn to look at her. "Ethan, I'm glad I have a brother," she says.

This is the first time I've ever seen a genuine warm smile on Madeline's face in the whole time I've known her. With all the bravado and grit she normally displays, there is obviously a lost girl inside of her that needed to know more about her family, just as I did.

I smile at her. "I'm glad to have a sister too."

She smiles and I notice the dimple on her cheek. It's in the same place as mine. It's incredible the similarities you pick up on when things are staring you right in the face.

Nanny and Grant are sitting talking when we return to the room. Grant stands and opens his arms to Madeline. She immediately walks in to them, returning the embrace. I can hear him whispering apologies to her over and over. Nanny is looking to me with a sad smile, acknowledging that I didn't get the same upbringing as my sister.

No wonder Nanny spent all her time with me giving me all the love that my mother didn't, she knew what Madeline was getting from my father.

Grant releases Madeline and turns to me. "Ethan, can we talk alone for a moment?"

I look to Nanny and she nods to me to go ahead. "Madeline and I will talk some more, you two go."

I follow my father down the hallway into what looks like a study. He sits behind the desk and takes out a key that opens a large drawer on his side of the desk.

"Please sit," he says.

He pulls out a pile of black bound books and places them on top of his desk. He rests his elbows on to them and directs his attention to me.

"Ethan I know this has all been a lot to take in. I want you to know that I fought for you before you were even born. I never wanted to leave you alone with Elizabeth; I wanted you and Madeline to be together. I wanted both of you. Your mother was adamant about the arrangement, and me being young and stupid, agreed to it. My biggest regret in life is leaving you behind and never having the chance to know you, to watch you grow up and to experience all your firsts. I know that my mother shouldn't have told you everything, but I understand why she did, she loves you so much."

He sits back further in his chair, rocking it slightly.

"I don't for one second regret that you know everything now. I want the chance to get to know my son. I want to know everything about you, what you love, what you hate, your ambitions, your goals, everything. I know that I may not have any right to any of those things, but I want you to see that I never once forgot about you. I thought of you every day."

With that he opens the books on his desk.

Each one contains clippings and photos of me.

From the media reports when I was born, to the latest articles showing Ava and I out and about. I flip through each book and it's like watching my life play out in pictures before my eyes. He hasn't missed anything except for getting to know me. I don't really know what to make of it.

"I... I'm not sure what to say. I mean this has all come as a big shock and I'm a little overwhelmed to see all of this. I could have really done with a loving parent in my life, so knowing I had one from afar is not really helping right now."

Grant has a pained look on his face. "Look son..." _Son!_ "...I know that Elizabeth was very self-absorbed, but I loved your mother, and she loved me. You were both born from love, even if it doesn't seem that way. I know I have no right to claim you now, and I have no expectations that you will want to be part of my life, but I pray to God that you will be. I _want_ to know you so badly."

I nod. I don't really know what type of relationship I do or don't want to have with him. I've never had a father, not even a father figure. The men my mother dated never stayed around long enough.

Grant stands. "That's probably enough for me to leave you thinking about tonight hey?" he smiles. "I'll leave it with you Ethan, but just know that I'm here, whenever you need me and it would be a privilege for me to get to know you."

I return his smile and shake his hand. I don't call him _Dad_ and I don't call him _Grant_. I don't call him _anything,_ because I don't know _what_ to call him.

We make our way back out to the main room where Nanny and Madeline are laughing. Madeline has of course met Nanny before, most recently when she came to visit the studio, but I wonder what she must think now knowing that Nanny Grace is her grandmother. It's a lot to take in.

I'm so tired. I just need to get Nanny home and crawl in to my bed. "Ready to go Nanny?"

She nods and we all rise.

We make plans to speak with my mother the following weekend. It's my job to set the whole thing up of course. We've decided to all have lunch or dinner at the mansion, no paparazzi, and complete privacy. My mother is going to hit the roof when she finds out that we all know, so we need to be well away from the public eye when that happens.

I give Madeline and Grant a tight smile. Nanny gives them both a kiss on the cheek and we make our exit.

Once buckled in to the car Nanny turns to me. "Are you okay sweetheart?"

_Am I okay?_

Surprisingly yes I am. That all went a lot better than I thought it would. Poor Madeline probably has a sleepless night ahead of her, just like I did when I found out. Her mind is bound to be going a mile a minute. I'll have to make an effort to see her at the studio tomorrow to make sure she is okay.

After all, she is my sister.

_My sister!_

My insides warm at that.

Sure she can be a total spoilt bitch, but she's my sister, I have a sister! It's my job to look out for her and protect her.

I turn to Nanny and smile a real genuine smile. "Yes Nanny, I'm good. I love you."

"I love you too my sweet, sweet boy," she says as she takes my free hand and holds it tightly.

She nods and smiles the first peaceful smile I have seen on her face since this whole thing started.

I put the car into drive and look out the window at the house that is home to my father and sister - my family.

#

# What The!

#

My eyes flutter open as I feel a trail of kisses running across my collar bone. I smile and turn my neck allowing Ethan better access.

"Good morning," I say with a sigh as Ethan trails kisses up my chin and over my cheek.

His baby blues meet mine and he gives me one of those breathtaking smiles, showing off those dimples and perfect white teeth. "Every morning waking up to you is a good morning," he responds.

I roll to my side, entwining our legs and wrapping my arms around his waist. "I couldn't agree more," I reply, running my tongue over the light stubble on his chin.

Ethan sighs and rolls me on to my back, hovering over me. He places a light kiss on the tip of my nose and asks, "What do you want to do this morning? We don't have to be at the studio until this afternoon."

I offer up my lips for a kiss which he gladly gives me. "I think I'd like to stay right where we are for the time being," I suggest, raising my hips towards him.

"Oh Miss Lucas, I think that can be arranged," he says with a salacious grin.

He lowers his head and slowly kisses across my top lip and then my bottom, licking his way in between them both, until his tongue is dancing with mine and our breathing is getting ragged.

As he works his mouth against mine, I run my hands down his back until I meet the elastic of his boxers. I let my fingers trail the length of it until I run them underneath the fabric and rake my nails over his toned backside. I feel the evidence of Ethan's arousal against my flesh so I start to move the fabric down until he kicks it off.

He pulls back to remove my singlet top in record time and immediately continues to kiss across the top of my body until the pad of his tongue is running over my nipple, sending intense pulses of electricity to all the right places. Without giving the other side attention, he slowly makes his way down my body using hands and lips and teeth, until he reaches my pink lace boy-shorts. He tucks his thumbs in to them and starts to remove them slowly.

"You have entirely too many clothes on," he murmurs against my skin.

He stares lustfully at the skin he has just revealed before dropping his head to run his tongue up the inside of my thigh. My head falls back in to the pillow as he moves higher, right to the apex of my thighs where I'm desperate for him. With the first sweep of his tongue I groan and that seems to set him alight. He kisses and licks until I can no longer take it and I shatter in to millions of teeny-tiny pieces.

He pulls back with a look of complete satisfaction, watching me come back down to earth. Before I have fully re-entered the land of the living, he slowly enters me.

We both sigh as he starts to push in and then pull back fully, setting up a slow, punishing rhythm that makes my blood sing. He drops his forehead to mine and stares in to my eyes as he rocks in to me, "I love you Ava," he says, as he increases the pace.

I manage to choke out, "I love you too," before he grabs my right leg and bends it back against my chest, opening me further to his crushing rhythm, and allowing him to drive deeper.

Sweat coats our skin as we keep it up, both of us chasing release but not wanting to give in to it, because that would mean we have to stop.

When I feel the second orgasm rolling through me, Ethan calls my name and let's go too, releasing in to me and breathing heavily until he finishes. He rolls us, and I place my head on to his chest, listening to his heart beat as it slows back down to a regular pace.

"I can't get enough of you," Ethan says as he tickles his fingers lightly over my back.

I giggle. "Me too."

"As much as I would love to lie here with you all day, I'm hungry," Ethan says. "I'm going to grab a shower and then we can have breakfast. Join me?" He stretches his hand towards me.

I stretch and feel the tightness in my limbs, no doubt caused from the marathon session of lovemaking we had last night. "Give me a minute and I'll follow you. My body still needs to wake up."

He kisses me on the lips and jumps out of bed, making his way to his bathroom. My eyes follow that gorgeous body all the way through the bathroom door, taking in every muscle and plane.

I roll to the side, willing my body to make its way out of the bed when Ethan's iphone starts to vibrate on the bedside table, indicating a text message. I stretch across the mattress to reach it, checking to see who needs him. The home screen shows Madeline's name. The message simply reads:

**Thanks for Tues night. Need to talk when u get to work. BTW, Does Ava know about us?**

My skin starts to prickle and I feel a bubble of nausea rise in my stomach. Ethan told me he was busy with Nanny on Tuesday night. That's the night he cancelled dinner. He blew me off to spend time with Madeline? That just doesn't seem like him. My heart and my brain can't compute this.

Dread settles in my stomach like a rock.

I look back down at the text message, staring at me from the screen like it's taunting me. Why does she refer to them as an _us_? I thought Ethan and I were an _us._

I feel sick and I feel stupid, and I just want to get away from here as quickly as possible. I don't want to believe that Ethan has been cheating on me with Madeline, but really what else could a message like that mean?

I'm devastated that Ethan would do this to me. Knowing my history and what Cole did, I can't believe he would be so heartless.

I want to stay and confront him, but my flight instincts have kicked in and all I can think about is getting away from here and hiding from whatever the truth in that text is. I gather my bag and dress quickly.

I tie my hair back in to a ponytail and slip on my shoes before leaving through the patio door as quickly as I can. I manage to hold off the tears until I've made my way around the side of the house and out the main gate.

Then they hit me full force.

I call a cab on my iphone and wait around the corner from Ethan's in the side street so he won't see me if he tries to find me.

I knew something like this would happen.

I knew I wouldn't be enough for him and really, what was I thinking? I've been living in la la land with him since this all started.

I'm stupid.

So, very, very stupid.

The cab pulls up and I jump in as quickly as I can. I give the cabbie my address, pull on my oversized sunglasses and settle back in to the seat, allowing the tears to fall. My heart is breaking and I'm furious at myself for getting myself in this situation. I knew better, but I still went ahead and fell for him.

As we are pulling up outside my apartment my phone starts to ring with Ethan's ring tone. I send it to voice-mail and pay the cab driver.

As I enter the apartment, Olivia is on her mobile. "No she's not here... calm down Ethan.....what misunderstanding?" Olivia turns and sees me but I quickly place my index finger over my lips, and shake my head side to side, asking her not to tell him that I'm here.

She nods slightly, with a worried look in her eyes. "I'll have her call you when she comes home," Olivia lies, staring at me pointedly. She hangs up, places her hands on her hips and moves towards me.

"Care to tell me what that was all about?" she asks. "Ethan said he came out of the shower and you were gone, no goodbye, no nothing. He said something about his phone being on your pillow and a text message from Madeline? He's frantic Ava."

I start to cry and my sister immediately envelopes me in a hug. "Come on, let's sit," she says.

"Tell me," she urges.

I take a deep breath and explain to Liv what I read in the text message.

"Well I can understand why you're upset. I'm sure there's an explanation though. He sounded pretty upset on the phone, and just kept saying it was all a misunderstanding."

I look at my sister. "Really Liv, what else could I read in to a message like that? It's pretty damn clear."

I run my hands over my face. "How stupid could I have been to have thought that I was good enough for him? I don't fit in to his world Liv; I should have listened to my instincts all along. Madeline is a much better fit for him. I'm furious with myself for falling for him and furious with him for doing this to me."

Liv scoffs. "You don't mean that Ava, you're a bigger catch than her any day. You never give yourself enough credit. You're stunning and beautiful, inside and out, and Ethan knows that. Madeline is a bitch and we both know it. I wouldn't want her anywhere near Ethan, and to be honest I can't imagine that he would either."

Right now I really don't know what to think.

My emotions are running haywire.

I need a break, and I need to go in to self-preservation mode. Ethan and I may not have been together anywhere near as long as Cole and I were, but this hurts a thousand times more. I need to protect my heart.

"Liv, do you mind if I don't come in to the studio today? I need some time to think. I've got your schedules printed up for you and I can make a few calls from home to tie up any loose ends. I'll email Josh so he knows where everything is."

"That's fine; I'm on top of everything for today. What am I going to tell Ethan when he realises you aren't there?"

"Just tell him I'm unwell and wanted to sleep it off."

"He won't buy that."

The tears start to fall again. "Please Liv; just tell him I'm sick, I can't face him right now."

"Okay, okay, I won't say a word. For the record Sis, I think you need to talk to him. Ethan loves you and I can't imagine him ever doing anything with Madeline. You need to hear him out."

I nod, I know she's right, but here and now, I don't think my heart could handle what he has to say. I need to steer clear and protect it.

Olivia moves to get ready to leave for work and I make my way to my room feeling totally heartbroken, miserable and ill. I need to bury myself under the covers and cry.

My lap top is sitting open on my bed. I didn't turn it off last night before I went out with Ethan. I need to email Josh to let him know that I won't be in today. I open up the email program and type quickly, letting him know that I'm unwell and where everything that I've left for Liv is.

I close down all the programs until I arrive at Google. I was looking at photos of Ethan online yesterday afternoon. I shouldn't even been checking them out, but I like to see what they've written. I think it's a bit of my old tabloid fetish coming out. Ethan would kill me if he knew.

I've promised him that I would always talk things out if I read anything in the press that upsets me, yet here I am running and hiding after a simple text message; but I'm too hurt right now to care either way.

I type his name in to the search engine and press 'Enter'. Immediately the latest photos and stories flood my screen.

**_Ethan Drake seen leaving Madeline Rose's mansion after late night rendezvous..._**

And the next,

**_Ethan moves on. Is Madeline the new flavour of the month?_**

There are countless stories about Ethan being at Madeline's house on Tuesday night. There are loads of photos of Ethan pulling into, and out of, her driveway, and of his car parked at her home. It's definitely his Porsche, I'd recognise it anywhere.

So he really was with her on Tuesday night after he cancelled with me.

If he wasn't sneaking around on me, then he would've just told me he was going over there. Even if it was to rehearse. Any doubt left in my mind has been erased. I feel stupid and hurt and so very angry at myself, and him.

I stand and decide that I need to look out for myself. I pull my case down from the top of my walk-in robe and start to grab at the clothes on my hangers.

I'm going home.

Olivia will kill me, but she's my sister so she'll understand.

Eventually.

I empty my drawers and make my way to the bathroom to pack my toiletries. Right now I need to look after me and that means separating myself from this misery.

I change in to jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt, grab my passport and close up my luggage. Liv has already left so I write her a note, apologising and telling her where I am.

I take one last look around the apartment to make sure I have everything and call a cab. I'll get the next flight home and I won't look back.

Tears continue to prick the back of my eyes but I take deep breaths to hold them at bay. I pull up the handle of my luggage, grab my bag and head out the door, closing it behind me, running away and leaving behind every last piece of my shattered heart.

#

I'm so fucking frantic.

Frustrated...

Worried...

I don't know what to do.

Ava ran from me this morning without so much as a goodbye. She keeps sending my calls to voice mail and no one is answering the phone at the apartment. Liv promised me she would have Ava call me when she arrived home, but so far, nothing.

Nothing!

I am freaking the fuck out.

I found my cell phone on Ava's pillow with Madeline's text message on the main screen. I know Ava saw it and I know she has misinterpreted it, and now I need to find her so I can fix it.

I hadn't planned on telling Ava about my sordid family history until after we had all had the discussion with my mother next weekend, but clearly this is a misunderstanding that needs to be rectified urgently. I should've told her in the first place, and now I'm so angry at myself for not doing just that.

I feel like I'm going to be sick as I make my way to the office that Ava shares with Josh. If she would just give me five minutes I can clear all of this up.

If I ever had any doubt about my feelings for Ava then this has erased that. I feel like the air I breathe has been sucked from my lungs, and my heart hurts in my chest.

I find Josh on the phone when I enter the office, but no Ava. I point towards her chair and Josh covers the mouthpiece of the phone muffling our voices to whoever he is speaking to on the other end. "She called in sick," he mouths back to me.

"Fuck!"

I storm my way down the hallway towards Olivia's dressing room. She's in the middle of being made up for the first scene we are shooting today.

I take a deep breath and calm my voice, yelling is not going to help. "Liv, can I have a minute?"

She looks to me with wide eyes and asks the make-up artist and hairdresser to give us a moment. They leave the room hastily, shutting the door behind them.

"Where is she?" I ask, trying to mask the desperation in my voice.

Olivia sighs. "Look Ethan, she came home and was incredibly upset. She thinks that you're cheating on her with Madeline. She's devastated."

I try to interrupt but Olivia holds her hand up to me and continues, "...I told her that you loved her and that I was sure there was an explanation. I urged her to talk to you. Give her some time and she'll come around."

I run my hands through my hair, tugging on the ends in frustration. "There is an explanation. I am most definitely not with Madeline and I would never cheat on Ava. I have told her that _so_ many times. I know how sensitive she is about that after that douchebag she went out with. She won't take my calls; I'm going out of my fucking mind Liv."

"Look, you don't owe me any explanations, I knew that it wasn't what it seemed, but Ava has always felt that she wasn't enough for you; that she didn't fit in to your world. Seeing that message, no matter what it meant just made all those fears come to the surface. I know my sister and she'll be tearing herself up over this."

I take a deep breath and try to hold the tears that are threatening the back of my eyes at bay. "What do I do to fix this Liv?"

"Look, we're due on set in half an hour. Let's get the morning shoot out of the way and we can both head back to the apartment in the break to talk to her."

I really need to fix this now, but I can't blow off the shoot this morning. "Okay, but I won't wait any longer than that. I need to fix this."

Liv nods and places her hand on my shoulder. "She'll come around, just be ready to tell her everything, you'll need to reassure her. Ava can be a stubborn little thing at times. She believes what she sees, so you're going to need to convince her otherwise."

"There is no room for doubt in my explanation Liv; I just need the chance to talk to her."

Olivia smiles, "You will."

I nod and thank her and head out the door towards my dressing room. I need to get ready for the shoot so I can get out of here and back to Ava as quickly as possible.

I run in to Madeline as I reach the door of my dressing room. "Good morning Ethan," she says with a knowing smile.

"Good morning," I reply.

This feels so weird. This is my sister, my twin sister. The concept is so foreign to me, to both of us, that there is an awkward air surrounding us.

"You okay?"

She nods. "Yes, I'm good. Still trying to process everything, but I'm good. I think getting the meeting with our mother over and done with will make a big difference. I feel quite anxious about that. Did you get my text?"

It feels like a fist is squeezing my heart whenever I think about that fucking text message.

"I did. What did you want to talk about?"

"There were some photos on the paparazzi sites of you arriving and leaving my house on Tuesday night. They were blurry but it was clear that it was you. Of course Nanny wasn't shown in any of them, so the story doing the rounds is that we're an item now."

We both shudder. If the media only knew the truth.

_Jesus Christ, what if Ava saw those pictures?_

"Thanks for letting me know Madeline."

She shrugs, "No biggie. See you on set."

I turn to my dressing room and make my way to the bathroom, ready to get in to costume and get through this morning as quickly as possible.

Liv and I stare down at the note on the dining table in disbelief. I feel like I'm about to faint and Olivia is swearing up a storm.

**_Liv,_**

**_I'm so sorry but I can't stay. My heart is broken and I can't face Ethan._**

**_I'm heading back home to give myself distance and to try and fix this for myself. I need to get along by myself without a man in my life; this whole mess just reminds me of Cole all over again. I will miss you more than you know. Not just living with you, but working with you. I loved working at the studio and I hate leaving you all like this. Please apologise to Josh and everyone else for me. I'll be back once I know what I'm doing, but in the meantime remember I love you and I always will Sis._**

**_Love Ava X_**

**_P.S. Please don't tell Ethan where I am, I can't talk to him right now._**

"I'm going to kill her," Olivia says throwing the note back down to the table. "How could she just hop on a plane back home? We're talking a fourteen hour flight here, it's not just a hop, skip and a jump away. "

She starts to cry.

I want to cry, I want to scream, but my body won't allow me to do anything but stare at the note on the table. I can't move, I can't breathe, and I can't speak.

Olivia grabs the phone and starts jabbing it with her fingers, punching numbers in to it. I manage to will my head to turn in her direction in time for her to start speaking.

"Mum?" she says. "Has Ava called you? - I know, I know - No, she just left me a note, no explanation. She didn't give Ethan a chance to tell her what happened - No Mum -No, it was a misunderstanding - Hamilton Island - Really? - Okay, well thanks for letting me know where she's headed. Leave it with me, I'll track her down - Love you too. Bye."

Olivia places the phone back on to the kitchen counter and turns to me. "She's called my parents. Mum said she was really upset. She's headed to Hamilton Island."

"Hamilton Island, what the fuck?"

"Her best friend Kristy lives and works up there in the Whitsundays. Ava told Mum that she wanted to spend some time with Kristy so she is currently on a plane headed to Sydney and then Hamilton Island." Olivia looks to the floor and shakes her head. "When my sister makes her mind up about something she follows through, that's for sure."

"What the fuck do I do Liv?" I sigh, "We still have a few heavy days of shooting to get through. I can't follow her to Australia yet and I can't leave this undone. She won't take my calls, my hands are fucking tied."

I sink to the couch and drop my face in to my hands. I won't cry in front of Olivia, but I'm fighting hard to suppress the tears. It feels like my heart has been ripped from my fuckin' chest.

Liv sits down beside me and places her hand on my knee. I look up in to her eyes; she's as distressed as I am.

"Listen Ethan, I'll keep calling her, she'll take my call eventually. I'll let her know that this was all a misunderstanding and we'll go from there. I know it'll be hard to stay here knowing that she's hurting on the other side of the world, but we don't have a choice. Mum will let her know that we've called too. One of us will get through to her. Have faith, but rest assured that I'm going to kill her when I see her next."

She pats my leg twice and stands, holding her hand out to me. "C'mon we have to get back to the Studio."

Just like that we both make to leave the apartment. Liv puts on her oversized sunglasses and sighs as she heads back to the car. I stand still watching her for a moment, willing my feet to move. I take a deep breath and put my Aviators over my eyes, realising that I've just left the remains of my broken heart scattered on the dining table next to Ava's note.

#

# Paradise

#

I snuggle under the soft cotton sheets with my iphone, and decide to listen to an old Mariah Carey album from the '90's. It's full of songs that sound the way I feel - heartbroken. This will be the soundtrack of my misery.

I twist the ring that Ethan gave me around my finger. I can't bring myself to remove it, or my bracelet.

As Mariah sings _I Don't Wanna Cry_ , I hug my pillow to my chest and break down for the third night in a row. I cry for the memories Ethan and I have of yesterday, I cry for the heartbreak of today and I cry for the tomorrows that we will never get. I miss him to the point that my heart is hurting and my lungs are constricted with every breath.

I'm staying with my best friend Kristy on Hamilton Island in Queensland. This is paradise. The beaches, the weather, the resorts, are spectacular. Kristy works on the island as a tour guide, taking tourists on day trips to Whitehaven Beach. Whitehaven is arguably the most beautiful beach in all of Australia. It is absolutely breathtaking, but its beauty is totally lost on me.

Kristy insisted on me going on the tour with her yesterday. All I could think about was how much Ethan would love it and how much I would've loved to have taken him with me. How we could've made sandcastles, sand angels and drawn in the white grainy sand just like we did in LA.

I feel so guilty for leaving without talking to him and Olivia, but my heart just wasn't in any state to be discussing anything with either of them. I regret my haste, but now I'm on the other side of the world and there's not much I can do about it.

I'm considering staying up here with Kristy for a while. There are a number of jobs advertised on the island and this may be a good way to make a clean start. I don't want to face my parents; they've already been asking too many questions. Liv and Ethan have filled my voice mail with messages, both telling me that I've misunderstood everything, but really, how much of a misunderstanding could it have been?

Oh, and then there's Cole.

He keeps texting and leaving me messages too. It seems he has bought in to the media stories about Madeline and Ethan too, and is trying to step in and console me in my time of need.

He is by far the last person I need to see right now.

I feel like a coward for running away, I mean, I ran to the States after what happened with Cole and now here I am doing the same thing again. Only this time, my heart is shattered and beyond repair. I need to call Liv, but I can't face her yet, I'll do it when I'm ready.

I burrow under my covers and pray for sleep to take me so I can escape to my dreams, where beautiful blue eyes and dirty blonde hair take centre stage.

I can hear my cell phone ringing but I can't find it. I must have fallen asleep with the music app playing last night and it has been lost in the bed. I finally locate it wrapped in the sheet beneath my leg. One look at the screen shows that it's Ethan again. My heart stops beating and I close my eyes. I can't look at his breathtakingly beautiful face on the screen without breaking down. I hold the phone to my chest and wait for the call to stop.

Eventually it does.

I drop the phone to the bed and cover my eyes with both hands, breathing in and out. A moment later my voice mail signal chimes to let me know he has left yet another message. I can't listen to his voice anymore, so I haven't played any of the messages he has left for me in the last couple of days.

I will need to call Olivia today, but that can wait until later. I can hear Kristy banging around in the kitchen so I pull myself from the bed and make my way to the bathroom to freshen up. After splashing my face with some water and cleaning my teeth, I go to find her.

"Good Morning sleepy head," she says. "Olivia has left you another message on my answering machine, would you call her back already?"

"I will. I promise I'll do it later today." I acquiesce.

"Please do Ava, she sounds frantic. Have you spoken to Ethan yet?"

I just shake my head no. Kristy comes around the counter and takes my hands. "Ava, you're miserable, just call him already."

"I can't, not yet." My voice comes out as a whisper.

Kristy gives me a hug and turns back to the kitchen. "I won't push you, but you need to do it eventually. Bacon and eggs okay for breakfast?"

"Yep, that sounds great," I reply, trying to muster up some excitement. I make my way to the fridge and grab out the carton of orange juice. I start to pour it into the two glasses that Kristy has taken from the overhead cabinet.

"I've got two tours today, back to back," she says, "... I'll be out until early evening. Will you be okay?"

I nod. "Yep, I'm going to lay out in the sun for a bit and then have a look on line to see if there are any job prospects for me."

"Well you know that you're welcome here as long as you like. I'd love it if you stayed," Kristy says with a smile, "....but first, I want you to get everything sorted out so you can move forward. Promise me you will?"

I nod.

We finish our breakfast in comfortable silence, Kristy reading the paper and me staring out at the water thinking of how much I would love to be swimming out there with Ethan like we did in Hawaii.

The sun is so hot today and it's not even lunchtime yet. I think about reapplying my sunscreen and lying out for a bit longer, but I don't want to add sunburn to the list of places on my body that are already in pain.

I gather up my book, my phone and place my hat back on to my head. I grab the keys from my bag and make my way back to Kristy's. I round the path and notice someone knocking on the door of her villa in the distance.

"Can I help you?" I call.

The person turns and my breath catches in my throat.

Shit!

It's Cole.

"What are you doing here?" I ask breathlessly.

"Ava, your mum told me you were up here. I tried calling you and Kristy to tell you I was coming but your voice mail is full and Kristy's answering machine didn't pick up."

_Why would my mum tell Cole where I was?_

I turned off the answering machine so that Ethan and Liv couldn't leave any more messages and I've been ignoring my voice mail.

Cole takes one look at my face and places his hands on my shoulders. "Hey, are you okay?"

I feel my face crumble and I break down. Not what I want to do in front of him of all people, but whenever anyone shows any sympathy, that's my standard reaction. Cole pulls me to his chest and rubs my back, "C'mon, let's go in."

He takes the keys from my hand and opens the door, ushering me inside. He pulls me to the sofa and keeps his arm around my shoulders. "I take it this is all because of Ethan and Madeline?"

I don't want to discuss this with him. After what he did to me, he has no right to bad- mouth Ethan for doing the same thing.

"Look Cole. I don't want to talk about this with you okay?"

"Okay, I won't push, but I'm here if you need me."

"Why are you here?"

"Ava, I made no secret of the fact that I fucked us up royally and I regret it more than you could know. I've been waiting for that asshole to stuff up so I can make a play for you again, so here I am. I love you, I told you that in Hawaii and I still do. I would do anything to have another chance with you."

I can't deal with this right now.

My heart is broken in to millions of tiny pieces and Cole is declaring his hand. Not what I need right now. I need to get out of the villa and away from here; I can't be in here with him.

In my haste to get him out of here I suggest, "Let's go grab some lunch."

"Cool, I'm pretty hungry, didn't get anything to eat on the flight here," he responds patting his stomach

"Let me take a quick shower and change out of my bikini, and then we can head out. I'll be ten minutes max."

"I'll be here waiting," he says with a cocky smile.

I rush to my closet and grab the first sundress that I can find, pulling it from the hanger. I turn on the shower and stand under the flow of water letting the sunscreen wash away from my skin. I hear the phone ringing in the other room. I also hear it stop.

A wave of unease washes over me.

_Please don't let Cole have answered it._

I turn off the water in record time and grab a towel. I wrap it around my body and open the bathroom door, moving as fast as my feet will allow to the lounge area.

That's when I hear Cole on the phone telling whoever is on the other end that he is here now and is helping me get through everything.

_Please God let it be Olivia or my parents, anyone but Ethan._

As Cole says, "Fuck off asshole, don't threaten me," to whoever is on the other end of the line, I know exactly who he is talking to.

That sick feeling returns to my stomach - tenfold.

No matter what has happened, the last thing I want is for Ethan to think that I have run straight back in to Cole's arms.

God what a fucking mess this all is.

I turn back towards my bedroom as the tears start to flow in tracks down my cheeks again. _Will they ever stop?_

I resolve myself to the fact that I need to call Liv and set this straight. She would be livid if she thought Cole was back in my life, and I'm sure Ethan is going to make a beeline to her to share this news.

The last thing I wanted was any involvement from Cole and now he has gone and planted himself firmly in to the thick of things.

#

If it was humanly possible to shove my fist through the phone and pummel Cole's face until it is unrecognisable, then I would have done it. How dare he try to muscle his way back in to Ava's life after what he did to her. I'm fucking pissed and so damn frustrated that I can't just jump on a flight and get to her.

_Two more days! Two more days!_

Two more days has become my mantra.

Two more days until I can go to her.

We wrap a heavy stretch of filming tomorrow and we have a four day hiatus. I'm on the first available flight out.

Ava of course has no idea, because she still won't take my calls.

Damn frustrating female that she is!

I throw my gym bag on to the back seat of the jeep and place my phone in to the bluetooth, dialling Grayson as I do.

"Hey E," he answers.

"I'm on my way Gray; I'll pick you up in five."

"See you then," and he's gone.

I round the corner to Grayson's apartment and he's waiting out front for me. I pull up and he climbs in, tossing his gym bag next to mine.

He unscrews the cap on the bottle of water that he is holding and takes a large swig. "What's up?" he asks as he wipes the back of his hand across his mouth.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," I reply. "You?"

"Lots and nothing," he replies.

Not even Grayson's trademark answer to that question can bring a smile to my face today. I shake my head and flick on the indicator, readying to pull the car away from the curb.

"So have you spoken to her?" he asks cautiously.

I shake my head and glance his way before returning my eyes to the road. "She still won't answer my calls man. I'm booked on a flight out the day after tomorrow. I just need to get to her and fix this fuckin' mess."

"Has Liv heard from her?"

"She won't talk to her either. She's cut herself off from all of us and only speaks to her folks. I know she's safe but I also know that her dickwad ex is with her."

"What the fuck! How do you know that and what's he doing there?"

"He answered when I called yesterday. Dickhead told me she couldn't talk to me because she was taking a shower. Tried to tell me that he was taking care of her now and to back off."

"Fuck that E."

"I know, I threatened him. Told him I'd smash his face in if he touched her."

Grayson raises his hand to me and I slap his palm, giving him a high five. "How'd he take that?"

"Told me to fuck off, stop threatening him and then he hung up."

"Jesus Christ E, this is one twisted mess,"

"You're telling me."

Gray and I make the rest of the journey to the gym in silence.

I called Gray this morning to see if he wanted to spar with me in the boxing ring for a bit. I need to expel some of this frustration before I see Ava. If I'm sparring with my best friend then I'll show some restraint. I couldn't trust myself with a stranger today. I'd probably picture Cole's face and beat the shit out of the poor fucker.

We grab our bags and head towards the gym. Gray claps me on the shoulder. "C'mon man, let's get rid of some of this aggression. You look like you're about to combust."

I love the easy friendship that we have. Grayson just gets me. He always has. I don't need to tell him too much before he gets where my head's at. We've always been on the same wavelength and he has always been there for me, ever since we met.

I still haven't told him the news of my little family yet but I will. I just need to get to Ava first. Gray hasn't asked me too much about what sent Ava packing. He's seen the news stories of Madeline and me so I think he's assumed that's what's caused it. He doesn't push me though; he knows I'll talk when I'm ready.

Tomorrow night is the big reveal to my mother. She is going to be so pissed. I'm worried for Nanny. I don't want my mother to take her anger out on her. I've begged Nanny not to come but she wouldn't hear of it. She feels like she started all of this and she wants to be there to help fix it. Really, this was all started when my parents made some stupid decisions over 23 years ago.

We push our way through the revolving door of the boxing gym and we head towards the change rooms. I can't wait to punch something!

I rush to answer the doorbell to greet Nanny, Grant and Madeline. I have told my mother that I want to have dinner tonight but I haven't told her who is joining us. I know we are ambushing her, but if anyone can handle it, the _great_ Elizabeth Drake can.

Nanny enters and I bend to kiss her cheek. She places her hand on my face. "Hi sweetheart."

Grant and Madeline both look really nervous. We exchange greetings and I hand their coats to Rosa, who dutifully hangs them in the hallway closet.

I usher them all through to the terrace. Tonight is going to be hard enough so I wanted a more relaxed dinner than our formal dining room can afford. The chef is going to grill steaks for us on the BBQ. My mother will hate that, but it is what it is.

Once everyone has a drink in hand I move to get my mother. I hear her heels clack on the marble floor so I wait at the opening of the main room that leads out to the terrace. I don't want her to face everyone alone. No matter what she has done, she is still my mother, and I feel some need to stand with her through this.

"Ethan sweetheart," she says theatrically as she kisses me on each cheek. "I'm so pleased that you wanted to have dinner tonight, it's been way too long dear."

"Good evening mother. We're not alone, we have guests."

She looks at me quizzically and then her gaze moves towards the large windows that lead outside. "Really, who?"

I take her by the elbow and steer her to the opening of the terrace. I feel her falter when she sees them all standing there. Her face blanches and I feel a tremble move through her body. She recovers herself quickly and puts on that damn fake face that I hate again before moving to greet everyone.

"Grace, how are you?" she says as she gives Nanny her customary double kiss. She turns to Madeline, "Madeline sweetheart what a lovely surprise."

She turns to Grant and its then that I see the way they both look at each other. What a moment to realise that my parents are both madly in love with one another. You can see it in every fibre of their being. " _Grant_ ..." she breathes.

Grant moves forward and places his hands on my mother's shoulders. He bends and kisses her once on each cheek. They pull back and gaze at each other for a long moment before my mother breaks the silence. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company this evening?"

I mean really, can she be that obtuse.

"Let's sit," Grant suggests.

I see my mother move on shaky legs to the table, asking Rosa for a martini as she passes. I figure that I set this up so I need to be the one to start.

"Mother, I asked Grant, Madeline and Nanny to join us for dinner because we all need to talk. We know Mother."

Her gaze locks on to mine. "Know what?" she says flippantly, swishing her hand through the air and fiddling with the silverware.

"Elizabeth," Grant says, "...they know everything."

All colour drains from my mother's face and I prepare myself to launch out of my chair to catch her if she faints. Her breathing is shallow and her hands are shaking. She chokes out, "How?"

"That would be my fault," Nanny says. The glare that my mother gives her gives new meaning to the phrase _if looks could kill_.

"After the stroke I felt that I couldn't leave this unresolved. The children needed to know the truth and I couldn't leave this earth knowing what I did and not telling them."

My mother drains her martini and looks at each of us. She turns her focus to Nanny and Grant. "We promised that this wouldn't come out, we signed papers. We've made it through 23 years just fine, this is just going to stir the pot. Imagine if the tabloids get hold of this."

Really! That's the first thing she's worried about.

Why am I not surprised?

I chance a glance at Madeline and she looks wounded.

"Stop Elizabeth," Grant says. "This whole mess came about in the first place because we were so damn worried about the tabloids and our careers. Both of us have done very well, but at what price? I've missed out on Ethan and you've missed out on Madeline. We've paid our dues, now it's time for us to fix this."

My mother's whole demeanour changes when Grant talks to her. He has some sort of calming influence over her. She looks to me, and then to Madeline. "I'm so sorry," she says as tears begin to track down her cheeks.

In all my 23 years, my mother has never apologised to me for anything. This is a genuine, heartfelt apology and I am dumfounded. I didn't think she was capable of this much emotion, unless she was acting out a scene.

Before I can stop myself I rise out of my chair and walk to her. I drop to my knees in front of her and wrap my arms around her waist. "I'm so sorry Ethan, I'm so sorry," she repeats over and over as she hugs me back. We stay like this for some time until I pull back and look to Nanny, who is smiling at me through her tears.

My mother turns to Madeline. "I've always been so proud of you Madeline. I've followed your career. You remind me so much of myself at your age. You're beautiful and very talented and I'm so proud to be your mother." She looks to me, "I'm proud to be the mother of both of my beautiful and talented children."

Madeline moves towards our mother and they embrace. Madeline is crying now too and our mother is smoothing her hair while she cries on her shoulder.

I realise in this moment that my mother has been carrying a very heavy burden around on her shoulders all these years. The threat of this coming out has obviously taken its toll. It certainly had a large impact on our relationship. It's like the weight has been lifted for her and she can appreciate what's in front of her for the first time in a long time, maybe for the first time ever.

I look to Nanny and wink at her. She smiles at me, knowing that she has done the right thing in revealing this secret to all of us.

As everyone dries away their tears and takes their places at the table, our chef appears and starts to prepare the steaks. We all raise our glasses and toast to family. I'm not sure what we will all do from here, but rest assured for the first time ever, I feel like I'm part of something good.

#

# Nanny

#

I barely slept a wink last night. I was too pumped after dinner, and too anxious about going to Ava today. I've packed and am waiting for Grayson to turn up.

He's taking me to LAX.

My phone beeps with a text. Gray is out front waiting for me. Butterflies are taking flight in my stomach. I hope I'm doing the right thing.

I throw my bags in to the trunk of the car and settle in to the passenger seat, fastening my seat belt.

"You ready for this?" Gray asks.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I reply, not feeling the conviction of my words but putting on a brave face for Grayson's sake.

We are half way to LAX when my cell phone goes. I don't recognise the number.

I press to answer the call, "Hello?"

"Ethan, its Doctor Reid at Cedar Sinai Hospital." My heart drops to my stomach.

"Oh God doc, is it Nanny?"

"I'm afraid so. She was brought in an hour ago. She's suffered a bad one this time Ethan. You need to get here."

Tears start to well and I feel like someone is standing on my chest. I can't breathe and I can't speak. I push the words out past the lump residing in my throat. "I'm on my way."

Gray turns his head to mine, looking worried about what I'm about to say. "Nanny had another stroke, a bad one, she's back at Cedars, and I need to get there."

Gray immediately turns the car around and pushes down on the accelerator. I'm terrified of what I'm going to find when I get there this time. He said it was a bad one, what does that mean?

My new mantra, _please let Nanny be okay, please let Nanny be okay_ starts to go through my head.

But this time, I have a bad feeling.....

The sound of my cell phone ringing at two in the morning wakes me. It seems to be ringing non-stop these days. I grab it from the bedside table and squint at the bright screen to see that Olivia is calling. She's usually pretty good at working out the difference in the time zones, so I'm surprised that she's calling me now.

We had a very long conversation a couple of days ago and ironed everything out. She still wants me to call Ethan so he can explain the _misunderstanding_ , but I just can't yet.

I press to answer the call, yawning as I place the phone to my ear.

"Ava?" she says frantically.

Something's up.

"What's wrong Liv? It's two in the morning here."

"I'm sorry to call and wake you but I have some bad news Sis."

My heart drops to my stomach, _oh God_ , what if something's happened to Ethan.

The words are out before I finish the thought. "Is Ethan okay?"

I hear Olivia take a deep breath down the phone line. "Sis, Nanny Grace passed away today. She suffered another stroke. This was a bad one. They couldn't bring her out of it."

I place my hand over my mouth to muffle the sob that rises from my throat. I don't want to wake Kristy. "Ethan?" I ask.

"He's in a bad way Ava. You know what Nanny meant to him. I'm not sure how he's going to get through this."

"I need to come back." I state. There is no doubt in my mind. No matter what happened, I need to see him through this.

"I'm glad to hear it Ava. He was on his way to catch a flight to you when he got the call."

"What?" I whisper.

"Grayson was driving him to the airport. They were halfway there when they had to turn around and rush back to the hospital."

Thank God that he got the call when he did. I would never have forgiven myself if he was here with me and a world away. Tears are free falling down my face now. I'm crying for Ethan, but I'm also crying for myself. I loved Nanny and a world without her in it is incomprehensible.

"Are you still there Sis?"

I rub the tears from my face and force my voice to work. "Sorry Liv. I'm here. I'll be on the first flight out. When is the funeral?"

"Day after tomorrow. If you can hop on an early flight then you'll make it. He needs you Ava."

"I'm coming. Just let him know that I'm coming." I say, my tearstained voice betraying me.

"I will. Love you Sis."

"Love you too Liv."

I hang up and lie back on to my pillows allowing the grief to overtake me. I remember the first time I met Nanny and she told me, _"....every so often someone special comes in to your life, and it's so monumental that it marks time. It's like a date is forever imprinted on your heart. After that, everything before pales in comparison and you wonder what you did without them. That Ava - is love."_

Knowing that Ethan is going through this without me is heartbreaking. I need to get to him and fast. I don't care that it is the middle of the night. I grab my case from the wardrobe and start to pack. I will be at the small island airport at first light, making my way back to him.

I'm exhausted when I arrive back at LAX.

I've had three separate stop-overs to get back here, and I wasn't able to sleep on the plane. My mind is full of Ethan, and Nanny, and I'm terrified of what he is going to say to me. Fear and doubt has crept back in to my veins and I'm scared that he wants Madeline and not me. I don't think I would cope if that's the case.

I hail a cab as I pull my large black sunglasses from my bag. I flop in to the back seat and give the driver my address. I have about three hours before the funeral and I'm in desperate need of a shower.

I punch Olivia's number in to my phone and wait as it rings.

"Hey Sis," she answers brightly, "Are you back?"

"I just landed; I'm on my way to the apartment now."

"Great. I'm here so I'll see you once you get here. We can go to the funeral together."

Thank god for that. I don't think I could walk in there by myself; I need my confident sister to act as my armour for the day.

"You okay Ava?"

"Not yet, but I will be."

"He misses you like crazy Sis, just keep an open mind. Today is going to be a hard one for him."

My heart clenches as I think of Ethan and all he will need to go through today. His pain is my pain and right now it is pretty unbearable.

"Thanks Liv. I'll be there soon."

"Okay, bye."

I start to type out a text to Ethan, telling him how sorry I am, how much I adored Nanny and how much I love him.

As I go to press send, I hesitate.

I'm probably the last person he wants to hear from today. He has enough to deal with without adding the drama I bring to the mix. I delete the message and throw my phone back in to my bag.

I lay my head back on the seat and close my eyes. I take a deep breath and try to put on my brave face. Today is going to be difficult, and I worry about the outcome. I don't think I can bear to be without him, but he may have already made up his mind.

He may have already moved on.

I turn my head to stare out the windows where palm trees and cars fly past.

I get a feeling of peace settle over me.

_I'm home._

It's funny how I now consider LA home. I've lived my entire life half a world away, but this is now my home.

Realisation dawns on me, that wherever Ethan is, that's my home.

_He's_ my home.

I take another cleansing breath and drop my head back again, closing my eyes and praying to God that he still wants me.

Liv and I make our way down the aisle of the impressive cathedral. It's modern from the outside and vast inside. It's located near the _Walt Disney Concert Hall_ in downtown LA and is very impressive. My nerves are heightened with every step closer to the front that we take, knowing that I will see Ethan soon. I feel jittery, so I shove my hands across my chest to try and stop them from shaking.

There are a large number of people here but nowhere near enough to fill this space. Everyone is congregating in the pews closest to the front so we have no choice but to head that way. I was hoping to hide out in the back for a while.

A white coffin sits at the front of the church covered in stunning pink roses, Nanny's favourite. A gorgeous photo of Nanny sits atop a gold easel next to the coffin. Her smiling face is gazing at all of us, as if she is giving her silent thanks for our presence.

My heart hurts just looking at it.

My eyes scan the pews. Many of the people here are from Nanny's Nursing Home; I recognise a few of the faces after our many visits there.

Liv and I reach the pew that Josh and Chelsea are in and slide in beside them. Josh looks up at me and smiles. "I'm so glad you're here Ava." He leans over and gives me a tight hug. "He needs you," he whispers in my ear.

I pull back and we both have tears glistening in our eyes. Josh loves Ethan as much as I do and I can tell he must be doing it hard. I lean over Josh and grab Chelsea's hand, giving it a squeeze. She gives me a sad smile and turns her head towards the front.

My eyes follow her gaze and that's when I see him.

I take in every inch of him slowly.

He is so painstakingly beautiful that my breath falters.

He has on an impeccable black suit with a pink tie that matches the roses on Nanny's casket.

It's a fitting tribute to her.

His gorgeous face looks so sad, lines etched around his mouth, and his eyes are so clouded that I find it hard to look at them without my heart breaking. His gorgeous mane of hair is still perfectly tousled, and his beauty is still breathtaking, but he is wearing his grief like a beacon.

He is standing next to his mother, talking to a very good looking older gentleman. I recognise him and assume he is an actor. In fact I'm sure he is. I've seen his movies before. His name escapes me though.

He doesn't see me sitting at the end of the pew so I keep my head down. I don't want our reunion to be in front of this crowd of people.

His mother makes her way in to the front pew, followed by the gentleman that they were talking to. He must be her new flavour of the month. Ethan follows behind him and then I glimpse Madeline.

She looks elegant and stunning in a black, tight-fitting designer dress, her long blonde hair pulled back in to a sleek ponytail. She takes her place next to Ethan at the end of their pew and I immediately feel sick. Looking at them standing together makes my eyes hurt. They both look so gorgeous standing there. The perfectly matched couple.

I need to get out of here.

_How stupid could I be to think that he wanted me over her?_

Olivia senses my rising panic and clasps my hand, tight. She's not letting me go anywhere. I look in to her eyes pleading for her to let me go. She leans in towards me and whispers, "Have faith Ava, he's not with her." Tears prick my eyes and I take a deep breath to try and calm my raging nerves.

I will stay, for Nanny. I need to say a proper goodbye to her. I am sure I can sneak out without Ethan and Madeline even seeing me after the service.

At that moment, Grayson arrives and sits next to me, pulling me in to a tight hug. "Glad you're back hon. Have you spoken to him yet?" I shake my head no. Grayson looks so handsome in his black suit and dark tie. He really is gorgeous. He grabs my hand tightly in to his. "Make sure you talk to him today okay?"

With Liv and Gray holding on to me, I have nowhere to go, and nothing to do but sit here and watch Ethan with Madeline from a distance.

It's my worst nightmare come true.

We sit through some stunningly beautiful hymns sung by the choir. The Reverend has said some lovely things about Nanny and we have just watched a slideshow of photos depicting Nanny from when she was very young to more recently. Many of the photos showed her with Ethan over the years. My tears couldn't be held back through that part, and I sobbed in to my tissue. Ethan chose the Eva Cassidy song, _Songbird_ , to play during the photos and it was so hauntingly beautiful that I doubt there is a dry eye left in the church.

I can see Ethan's shoulders shaking from where I'm sitting so I know he is crying too. My heart is breaking for him. My need to comfort him is overwhelming. The gentleman beside him places a hand on Ethan's shoulder in comfort. Ethan turns to him and gives him a tight smile. His face in profile is agonising to look at.

Grayson notices my sharp intake of breath and places his hand around my shoulders, drawing me closer to him and soothing me. He has tears tracking down his cheeks too.

The Reverend announces that Ethan is going to speak and my heart stops.

_How can I sit here and just watch him going through this?_

My overwhelming urge is to run to the front of the church and hold his hand but I can't. I stay put, sitting close to Grayson and take a deep breath, ready to listen to the love of my life, as a piece of his heart is lying in the coffin in the front.

#

# Final Goodbyes

#

I make my way from the pew to the podium at the front of the church, right in front of Nanny's coffin. The florist has done an amazing job with the roses. They are Nanny's favourite and a few of them are from her own garden at the Nursing Home.

My spirit is broken and my heart is pounding a sad tattoo.

Gray and I made it to the hospital before Nanny passed away but she never actually woke up so I didn't get to say a proper goodbye. That will haunt me as long as I live. That's why I was insistent on speaking today; I need to say a proper goodbye to the one person that has stood by me my entire life.

I sat in the hospital room and just stroked Nanny's hand, whispering to her. My mother and father and Madeline all made an appearance too, and as a family we all said goodbye to the person that finally broke down our walls and brought us all back together. I will be eternally grateful to Nanny for that, but more so for the selfless way that she gave her life to raise me.

I take a deep breath and ready myself to speak.

I know that Ava is here, Olivia told me she would be, but besides that, I can feel her presence in the room. It's like my body is so attuned to hers that instinctively it recognises that she is here. I'm too scared to look in to her eyes yet. The emotion will kill me. I look out at the crowd and train my eyes above their heads so I can't see any of the grieving faces. I rub my finger absently over the tattoo of Ava's name on my wrist, seeking silent comfort from it.

I take a deep heaving breath to keep the tears at bay and begin.

"Nanny Grace was my life. She raised me from the moment I was born and stayed by my side until the day she died. She was selfless, loving and kind, and if I can measure up to her in any way then I am a lucky man. She once said that it's not the person you love the longest, but the person you love the deepest that forever stays in your heart. Nanny has always been the one that I have loved the longest and the deepest throughout my life. She will forever be with me. I love you Nanny, always will, and I will miss you more than I can express. Thank you for everything you did for me, thank you for loving me unconditionally and thank you for being my Nanny. The blessings you brought to my life are endless and I will do my best to remember everything that you taught me. Your spirit will forever live on in me. I love you. Goodbye."

Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I make my way down the stairs in front of the pew. I stand in front of Nanny's coffin and place a pink origami rose that I folded for her on top of it. With my palm flat on the lid of the coffin I whisper, "Good bye Nanny, I love you. Thank you... for everything."

I turn to make my way back to my seat when my eyes lock on to Ava's. She is sitting with Liv and Gray and tears are pouring from her gorgeous big eyes. My eyes are locked to hers and I can't look away. I want to run to her and take her in my arms to ease her pain, and mine.

It hurts to look at her.

Not only because of the pain in her eyes, but because I have missed her so damn much that it physically aches.

I see her love for me, I see her grief, I see her fear, but most of all I see her longing. Her expression mirrors everything that I'm feeling in this moment too. I give her a faint smile, which she returns, and I turn towards the pew that my family is sitting in. I want so damn much to go to her, but I can't now, I need time with her, and I need to get through today first.

Today is Nanny's day.

Madeline and Grant both give me small smiles as I sit back down and my mother leans across Grant to take my hand. She gives it a gentle squeeze and says "I'm proud of you Ethan." She's never said that to me before, so that starts my tears anew.

We sit through the remainder of the service in silence, sharing our grief and remembering the wonderful person that was Nanny Grace. As the service concludes, Grant and I make our way to the front. We are acting as pallbearers to take Nanny out of the church, along with some other friends. We slowly make our way back down the aisle.

As I near Ava's pew, I see her looking straight in to my eyes. I silently mouth _I love you_ to her as I pass. I don't stop to see if she responds, because right now if she doesn't, it will kill me.

The sun is shining brightly as we place the coffin in the back of the car, ready to make its way to the cemetery. I look up to the sky, staring in to the bright rays and smiling, knowing that this is Nanny's way of letting me know that she is here, watching over us and that she's at peace. In this very moment, that peace washes over me.

I turn towards the entrance of the cathedral and take my place next to my mother, greeting people and thanking them all for attending. Of course no one knows about my family yet - well except for Gray, I told him over more than a few beers last night - so Grant and Madeline are standing a little way away from us. Even though Grant is Nanny's son, most people in her life did not know of his existence. Her life was with me and me alone. She gave up _everything_ for me. I can't imagine how hard that must be for Grant today. He's lost his mother.

I see Ava approaching and my heart is aching to be near her, to touch her, to get her back. Gray gives my mother a peck on the cheek and passes on his condolences before pulling me in to a tight hug. "So proud of you man, don't know how you did that up there, but Nanny would have loved it."

"Thanks Gray."

"There's someone here that you need to speak to," he says to me, pulling Ava in front of me and walking away. I look in to her tear-filled eyes and run my hand down her cheek. She closes her eyes, as if my touch is too much for her to bear.

She opens her eyes and says, "Hi."

"Hi." I say back breathlessly.

"I'm so sorry about Nanny. I loved her too."

"I know. She was very easy to love."

I try to resist and I can't. I pull Ava tightly in to my chest and bury my face in her hair. "God Ava, I've missed you so much. Don't ever run on me again."

She pulls back, leaving her arms around my waist. "Ethan we have so much to talk about. This time apart has been really hard. No matter what, know that I love you - so much. I'm here for you today and always."

I pull her back to me and squeeze her tight. "We do have a lot to talk about. There is so much that I need to explain. Right now you just need to know that there's no-one else, no matter what you think." She nods against my chest.

She whispers, "I love you" and lets go of my hand, making her way over to Grayson and Joshua. The heat that I was feeling immediately vanishes when she leaves me. I don't know how I've gotten through this time away from her, but right here and now I vow to never let her go again. I'm not letting her out of my sight. She is as much the air I need to breathe as Nanny was.

I turn back to the people waiting to speak to us and feel like the piece of my heart that is leaving with Nanny has just flown back in to my chest - because of Ava.

My mother insisted on having the wake catered for at our home. I would have preferred to keep people away from the house, but Elizabeth Drake is nothing if not a meticulous event planner. The house is full of people. Everyone that followed us to the burial is here at the house and then some.

My mother has been surprisingly warmer towards me ever since the big revelation on the weekend. The weight of the secret she was carrying for so long lifted. She and Grant have been getting along well and she and Madeline are forging a new relationship. I'm trying hard to connect with Grant too. He's a very kind man, level headed and different to my mother. In many ways I have taken on his mannerisms and personality, where Madeline is very much our mother's daughter.

We are nowhere near being a family yet, but we are certainly all making our way there.

Waiters are milling through the crowd carrying trays of hor d'oeuvres and pink champagne, Nanny's favourite vintage. Friends and family are mingling sharing stories of Nanny and catching up on news.

Nanny would have loved this.

I make my way out to the terrace to the large outdoor sofa. My second family is sitting out here.

Grayson - my best friend.

Joshua - my lifeline, PA and friend.

And Ava - my heart - sitting with Liv.

Without them I wouldn't have survived all of this. I move to stand in front of Ava. I need some time with her alone. I've waited long enough.

I look down in to her stunning face and give her my hand. "Let's go for a walk."

She smiles the beautiful smile that she reserves only for me, and allows me to pull her up off the sofa. Hand in hand, I lead her to the other side of the pool where we can have some privacy, away from the crowds and reconnect.

As soon as I get Ava out of sight of the other guests I pull her to me, fist my hands in her hair and cover her mouth with mine. I feel like I might combust if I don't kiss her. I kiss her to convey my love, my fears and my heart; pouring every emotion in to it. She mirrors my kiss, sucking on my bottom lip and tangling her tongue with mine until you can't tell where she stops and I begin.

She pulls back breathlessly and smiles at me again, running her fingertips up and down my arms and setting my blood on fire. I can't take my eyes off her; I'm so fuckin' glad that she's here.

"Let's sit," I suggest as I pull Ava to the loveseat under the palm tree on the other side of the pool house.

When we sit I turn to her and see her eyes brimming with tears, it kills me. I wipe my thumbs over each cheek, taking the tears away. "What's wrong?"

"Ethan, I'm just so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you through this, I'm sorry that I didn't speak to you before taking off, I'm just sorry for everything. I stuffed up big time and I only hope you can forgive me."

I cup her chin with my thumb and forefinger and look in to her eyes. "Ava you have nothing to be sorry for. You were confronted with a situation and you saw it for what it was. Hell, I would have done the same thing if the shoe had been on the other foot."

Ava shakes her head. "No, you wouldn't have, you would've given me the benefit of the doubt and talked to me first. We always promised each other that we would talk things out, and I didn't do that. The first sign of trouble and what do I do? I run."

"Talk to me now, tell me why you left."

"I saw Madeline's text message to you, the one where she asked if I knew about you both. I felt sick Ethan, I just needed to get away to think. I thought you had cheated on me."

I take Ava's hand in mine and rub my thumb over her knuckles, trying to calm her.

"I went home and spoke to Liv. She begged me to talk to you, told me that there was no way you and Madeline would be together, of course she was right. Did I listen to her? No." She shakes her head and looks to the ground.

"I went to my room to lie down and my lap top was open. I stupidly googled your name..."

" _Ava!_ " I admonish, "I thought we talked about that. _Don't ever_ believe what you see on-line."

"I know. In the mood that I was in after that text, the last thing I needed to see was the photos of you leaving Madeline's home. We were supposed to spend that night together. You'd told me that you were going to be with Nanny. Those photos contradicted everything you told me, and I jumped to the wrong conclusion."

"You should've called me, hell you should've waited for me to come out of the bathroom that morning. All of this could have been settled and avoided. Why would you ever think that I would cheat on you, and with Madeline of all people?"

"All I could think was that she was a better fit for you than I am, she belongs in your glamorous world and I don't, I never have." Tears brim over her eyes again.

I shake my head and frame her face with my hands. "Ava you have no idea how much I love you, how no one else compares. If you knew the truth about Madeline then you would understand how crazy the idea of us being together is."

"That's just the problem, I don't know the truth, you didn't tell me, and then I didn't give you the chance. I ran instead of fighting for the one thing that is precious to me - _you_."

"I love you Ava, so fucking much. There is so much I need to tell you, but you have to promise me that you won't run again, it killed me."

She climbs on to my lap and wraps her arms around my neck, sobbing in to my shirt. "I love you too, always. I won't run again."

We stay wrapped around one another for seconds, minutes, hours, I don't know, it just feels so amazing to have her in my arms again.

Eventually I break the silence. "Why was that douchebag Cole with you on the island?"

She looks in to my eyes and runs her fingertips over my cheek. "Ethan I was devastated when I heard him on the phone to you. I knew what you would think. He called my parents and my mum told him where I was. I guess he thought he would be the _knight in shining armour_ and rescue me from my misery. The day you called he had just arrived. I wanted him out of the villa, so I told him we would go to lunch. I grabbed a shower and then heard him on the phone with you. I felt sick. We went to lunch and I sent him on his way, I don't want him and he is clear on that now."

I release the breath that I didn't know I was holding. "Thank fuck!" I say as I bury my face in to Ava's neck inhaling her sweet perfume.

Ava giggles. I love that sound.

"Ethan, will you tell me about you and Madeline so I can understand?"

"You are never going to believe what I have to tell you. No one else knows apart from Grayson. I promised Nanny that I would keep her secret, and I have, but you deserve the truth."

Ava looks up at me with those gorgeous big eyes of hers waiting......

"Madeline is my sister."

Ava's hands flies over her mouth in shock. Her eyes well with tears again and she squeaks out, " _How_?"

"It's a long story and one that I fully intend to explain to you. For now you need to know that Nanny wanted me to know this secret before she passed..." I swallow on the lump in my throat. "... If there was anyone in my life aside from you that I owed loyalty to it was Nanny." Ava smiles, waiting for me to continue.

"My mother and Grant Martin, the man that was with me at the funeral today, had an affair when working together and we were conceived. My mother didn't want to raise twins so they each took a baby and raised us alone. Nanny was Grant's mother, so she was my paternal grandmother."

Ava's mouth forms a little 'O' shape. She is shocked in to silence.

"The good part is that we are all trying to make amends for the time we've lost. Even my mother has warmed a little over the past week now that the burden of that secret has been lifted. Nanny's legacy to all of us was making sure that we knew who we were to one another so that we had a chance at being a family."

"She was such a special lady and she loved you so much," Ava says quietly.

I nod, allowing a few tears to escape. Ava wipes them away and moves forward, placing a light kiss on my lips. "How will you ever forgive me for running off on you, for thinking the worst?"

"Ava I forgave you the moment I saw your beautiful face in the cathedral today. You came back to me, not knowing what you were walking in to, because you love me, how can I be mad at you for that?"

She throws herself at me again, squeezing me in to a tight hug, wrapping her arms around me like her life depends on it. "I love you Ethan Drake, more than you could ever know."

"Ditto." I say, as I close my lips over hers and we kiss, making up for the time we have lost.

#

# Reconnections

#

I don't know how long Ethan and I have been hiding behind the pool house kissing, but it has been a while. "We should head back to everyone else," I say against his lips.

"In a minute," he says continuing to kiss me. "I'm not done yet."

I giggle against his mouth. " _Ethan_ ...."

"Ava I'm not letting you out of my sight tonight. You're staying with me, no arguments."

"You won't hear any from me."

"I can't wait to be alone with you," he says in a husky voice, whispering in my ear.

We stand and make our way back around to the guests, hand-in-hand.

I can't even begin to process the fact that Madeline is Ethan's sister. I hope she changes her tune towards me now, otherwise this could get difficult. No wonder Ethan didn't tell me what was going on.

Not only was he trying to protect Nanny, but he was trying to deal with the fact that he had a family that he never knew about. I can't imagine how hard that was for him. Stabbing pains of guilt lance through me, I can't believe I left him alone to deal with all this.

I make eye contact with Liv and she is smiling at me, happy to see Ethan and I together. Grayson is sitting on the other side of her, a huge grin on his face too. Before I reach them, Ethan pulls me to his side, "C'mon I want you to meet my father." I don't miss the pride in his voice as he says that.

Ethan walks me over to where Grant is standing. Now that I know he is Ethan's father, it is hard to miss the resemblance. He's a very good looking man, and if this is what Ethan is going to look like when he is the same age, then I'm one lucky girl. His expressions even remind me of Ethan's.

"Grant," Ethan says, "...this is Ava, my girlfriend, and the love of my life." He places a kiss on the back of my hand and smiles down at me.

"Ava, it's a pleasure to meet you," Grant says as he bends to kiss my cheek. At that moment Ethan's mother appears and makes her way to us smiling.

"Ava dear, so lovely of you to come, and how beautiful you look." She has a genuine smile on her face and kisses me on both cheeks in greeting. I look to Ethan and give him my best _what-happened-to-your-mother_ glare. He just shrugs.

"Where's Madeline?" Ethan asks.

"She's inside with a few of her friends," Grant answers.

Ethan nods. At least that member of his family is steering clear of me for now. I know I will have to face her at some stage, but I feel like I have had enough to deal with today.

Ethan grazes his lips over my ear. "Nanny would be so happy to see us here together today."

I squeeze his hand, giving him a watery smile.

We've been curled up on the large sofa in Ethan's room for about an hour. I fell asleep as soon as we came in here, jet lag and the lack of sleep over the past day no doubt. I wake to find myself wrapped around him like a vine and I'm hot, too hot.

I try to extricate myself from him without waking him, but to no avail. Bright blue eyes stare in to mine and a glorious smile spreads across his face highlighting those dimples that I love.

"If I'm dreaming, please don't wake me up," he says.

My heart melts in to gooey chocolate with his words. I plant a kiss on his plump lips.

"You're not dreaming, we're both here. I've got you. My heart is yours. Always."

He smiles that dreamy smile and leans forward to kiss me. I wrap my hands around his neck and tangle my fingers in to his gorgeous hair - which I have missed so much, deepening the kiss and making my intentions clear. Ethan matches every move I make, starved for me as I am for him. After a few moments of breathless kissing, he pulls back. He cups my face in his hands, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," I respond, marvelling at the love in his eyes.

"Before we take this any further," Ethan says with a grin, "I thought we could maybe take a swim.... swimsuits optional." He raises his eyebrows up and down and smiles.

I giggle. "There is no way I'm risking your mother or anyone else catching us naked in the pool!"

He tickles my ribs lightly making me squirm. "No one will see us; it's dark out, just you, me and the moon." His voice is low and husky, and it wakes up my libido in more ways than one.

"C'mon, its hot out and I just want some alone time with you before we move on to other more physical activities for the remainder of the night."

"The _remainder_ of the night?" I ask grinning.

He nods and smiles that sexy-as-hell smile that he reserves for me, "Yes, the _remainder_ of the night, _all night_ , until we've made up for lost time."

_Oh My!_

Without thinking it through I agree. "Okay, I don't have my swimsuit with me anyway so I guess a little skinny dip never hurt anyone."

He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles, before leading us barefoot out towards the pool house. The outdoor lights aren't on so it is only the stars and moonlight in the sky that illuminates our way. As we reach the large stone steps that lead down in to the pool Ethan turns and pulls me against him. His mouth closes over mine and his tongue snakes out immediately, twisting and turning with mine. Slowly his hands run up my arms and around the back of my shoulders until they reach the zipper of my black dress.

"I want to undress you," he says.

I look in to his eyes and give him a small nod signalling my acceptance of his plan. He ever so slowly lowers the zip of my dress and then turns me around. He runs his tongue from the top of my shoulder blades and down my spine until he reaches the end of the zipper. Sparks are firing through my veins and my breathing is shallow. It's like my body has been asleep and now that he is here with me, it has woken up with a start.

He runs his hands across my shoulders and pushes my dress off on each side so it falls in a pool at my feet. "Step out," he orders, and I do.

He turns me back around to face him. Thank God I'm wearing nice underwear today, black lace panties and a matching bra. "You are so beautiful," he says, as he gazes at me from head to toe. Before he can remove anything else, I decide it's my turn.

"You have entirely too many clothes on Mr Drake."

"What are you going to do about that Miss Lucas?"

"This," I say, as I start to undo the white shirt that he is wearing.

As I open each button I place a kiss on each patch of skin that I expose. He tastes sweet and smells of body wash, aftershave and something else, that is uniquely him.

I let my hands roam from his chiselled abs to his glorious chest, tracing every ridge and muscle, god I have missed this. My hands reach his shoulders and I remove his shirt slowly, letting my hands wander across his skin and down his firm arms. He sighs in contentment as I touch him.

He bends his head and holds mine in place as he lightly runs his tongue over my top lip.

"Wait..." I say breathlessly, "I still need to do your pants".

He holds his hands up in surrender, and I laugh, making quick work of the button and zipper on his black pants. I lower them to the ground and he kicks them off his foot, throwing them a few feet in to the bushes that circle the pool.

Before I can remove his boxer briefs he scoops me up and is halfway down the steps in to the pool. The water is warm like a bath, it is divine.

I can feel my entire body relaxing after this long day and the never-ending journey that brought me back to here. Ethan cradles me in his arms and bends his lips to mine, kissing me tenderly and slowly. I hold on tightly to his upper arms, feeling his biceps flexing as he carries me around in the water.

At the far end of the pool is a stunning waterfall, where the water cascades over a rock ledge and in to the main pool. Ethan looks to be heading that way. It is much deeper up this end so I twist myself in his arms until I am straddling him at the waist, my arms wrapped tightly around his neck, my legs wrapped around his body. I cling to him like a koala bear.

I stare deep in to his eyes. He matches my stare, unblinking, and intense.

He smirks at me and then moves faster until he has positioned both of us directly under the torrent of water. Then he kisses me.

Hard and fast.

The water is splashing all around and over us, making us slick and wet, and allowing our mouths to slide easily, one over the other.

He moves us behind the waterfall and out of the flow of the water so we are effectively curtained from the rest of the backyard. I like this; it feels like we are on our own private island.

Ethan moves his hands to my back and with one flick, he has my bra undone and tossed aside. He appraises each breast with a cheeky grin and then bends his head, taking a nipple in to his mouth, sucking and pulling.

" _Ah_..." I groan as he continues the attention on the other side.

I can feel his arousal between my legs. I want him. I rub against him, maintaining a rhythm that pleases us both.

I pull back slightly and move my hands down, running them across the front of his boxers, eliciting a groan from him. I hook my thumbs in to the sides of his underwear and lower them down as far as I can in the position that I'm in, allowing him to spring free. I run my hand up and down his length slowly, as he continues to lavish attention to my chest.

He takes his hands from my waist and pulls my panties down to my knees where I kick them off in to the water.

Ethan trails kisses from my jaw up to my ear. "I love you," he breathes against my face. I can only moan in response, he is kissing that place behind my ear that he knows drives me wild.

"I want you," I reply, my voice sounding needy and desperate, as my head falls back, allowing him better access to my neck.

"Here?" Ethan asks.

I squeeze him tighter curling my fingers around him, "Yes here...now."

He moans and shifts me so he can position himself at my entrance and enter me slowly. It feels amazing, he feels amazing. How could I have thought that I could live without this, without him? This is right where I belong, right where I need to be.

"I love you Ethan, I promise I'll never leave you again."

He continues to rock in to me slowly, sending shivers and tingles throughout my body. "I'm never letting you go again," he says, "so I'm glad we can agree on that much."

I throw my head back as my insides start to clench and tighten, knowing that the fireworks that only Ethan can elicit are about to explode throughout my core. "I love you," I cry out as I spiral in to oblivion, vaguely aware that Ethan is calling my name and following me with his own climax.

We remain wrapped around one another, hiding behind the waterfall as we catch our breath and re-connect after our time apart. Each vowing to the other we will never be apart again.

#

# Hawaii....Again

#

The last three weeks since Nanny's death have flown by in a whirlwind of filming and promotions. I've been grateful for the distraction; I'm missing her like crazy. I think I always will.

We are just about finished with the production phase of the movie. The Producers decided that we needed to capture a few more of the shots that we missed out on getting in Hawaii the first time. So today, we have landed back here in Honolulu to bright sunshine. It's paradise.

Of course my gorgeous girl is with me, as is Liv, Madeline and most of the cast and crew. I haven't told Ava, but I am extending our stay once we wrap the movie in a few days so we can holiday. Olivia and Ryan are staying too, and Ava's parents are flying in the day after tomorrow to surprise the girls.

I spoke to Grayson yesterday to see if he and the band could join us too. The wrap party is taking place over here and I thought it would be a perfect gig for _Awesome Rebel_ to play. Of course he was up for it, so now my best friend is joining us too.

If Nanny were here, then life would be perfect. Right now it's pretty damn close.

_Awesome Rebel_ are about to sign with a major label, so Gray's life is about to change as much as mine will when _Forever is mine_ is released in the summer. I want to make the most of the time we have now before rock tours and press junkets pull us in opposite directions.

But for right now I'm standing on the terrace of our Suite looking out at the Pacific Ocean and smiling, as I watch Ava in her bikini and sun hat, drawing in the sand with a stick and acting carefree. I love her so damn much it hurts. How I ever lived my life before she came in to it, I don't know.

I throw on my cap and aviators and make my way out to her on the sand. I scoop her up from behind and she squeals, "Put me down!"

"Only in the ocean babe," I reply as I run us both towards the waves.

She giggles and slaps me on the butt as I continue to carry her over my shoulder to the water. We reach the edge of the shoreline and I lower her down my body slowly, feeling every inch of her against me. I take her face in my hands and kiss her hard on the mouth, conveying all the love I feel for her in this one kiss.

" _Wow_ ," she says as she pulls back.

I smile and take her hand leading her in to the waves.

Grayson arrives today and I need to talk to him about something I'm planning for Ava at the wrap party. I decide to text him while Ava is in the shower getting ready for the day.

**What time do u get in Gray?**

A moment later he responds.

**We board in 10 minutes, be there this afternoon.**

I respond:

**Cool. Can't wait to c u. Need yr help with something.**

Gray's last response:

**OK. Will text when I get to the hotel.**

Ava emerges from the shower soon after wrapped in a towel, her hair tied back in a messy bun. "You look gorgeous as always."

"Ethan..." she responds, "I'm in a towel, no makeup, hair not done..."

"That's exactly the way I like you," I say as I wrap my arms around her from behind. I clasp the front of her towel and pull it off her, leaving her gloriously naked in front of me.

Before she can say a word I start to kiss her behind the ear in that special place that drives her wild, and we are both lost in each other for the next thirty minutes.

Gray's flight landed an hour ago and he has settled in to our hotel so we're about to meet for drinks at the terrace bar. Ava is out shopping with Liv for a few hours after a long day of filming in the sun today. We are all wiped out.

Ava and I are going to have room service for dinner, tucked up in bed and wrapped around each other. I can't fucking wait.

First I need to talk to Gray about what I have planned.

I look across the room and spy Grayson talking to a couple of leggy blondes over near the outdoor bar. I wave as he catches my eye and he excuses himself from his harem, making his way over to me carrying two beers.

"Hey E," he says as he places the drinks on to the outdoor table.

"Hi Gray. Glad you could make it." We give each other our special handshake, the one we always do, and sit down on the bamboo bar stools watching the sun set over the water.

"What's new?" I ask before I can stop myself and of course Gray's answer is "Lots and nothing" as always. I laugh, he never changes.

"How's filming going man?"

"Good, really good, we got some great stuff down today. Two more days and we wrap."

I feel bittersweet about wrapping the movie.

So much has happened during production. I've lost Nanny, I've gained a father and a sister, and I've met the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. It's really bittersweet. If Nanny were still here with me, it would be the best time of my life.

"Tell me a bit about the wrap party. We're heading to the venue tomorrow for a sound check."

"We're holding it at a restaurant on the beach. We've booked out the entire venue. It's amazing man. I've taken Ava there before and we loved it. The stage will be set up on the back deck overlooking the ocean. You'll never perform in a more stunning venue."

Gray comes back with, "Never say never."

I laugh. "Well now that _Awesome Rebel_ are about to be signed, I guess I shouldn't be saying that. God knows where you'll be in twelve months' time. I'm so fucking proud of you man."

We clink beers, "Thanks. Now tell me what you were so desperate to talk to me about."

Here goes nothing.

"I need some help with something for Ava at the wrap party, and you my friend are the one that I'm counting on. Josh is covering most of it but I need your professional expertise to pull it off."

"Go on..." he says.

I tell Grayson my plans and although he is a little reluctant about some of it, he agrees to help me out. We have some work to do to pull off what I want to do in the next two days, so Gray and I make plans to get together tomorrow afternoon to go over the details.

We drink three more beers and share a serve of wings before we see Liv and Ava approaching from the lobby. Ava's arms are full of bags so it looks like they gave their credit cards a beating at the outlet mall.

"Ava!" I call to her and wave.

Her stunning face lights up like a Christmas tree when she sees us both there. She scrambles to the table, weaving between the chairs, trying not to snag her bags.

"Gray, what are you doing here?" she says as she drops her shopping bags and throws her arms around him.

He laughs at her excitement. "Hey Ava, Surprise!"

Ava jumps up and down and claps her hands together.

I pull Ava to my side. "What about me, don't I get some love?" I pout.

She throws her arms around my neck and kisses me behind the ear. "You'll get more than your fair share of loving tonight Mr Drake," she whispers. "I just spent a fortune at _Victoria's Secret_." She pulls back and gives me a sexy wink. I can feel myself getting hard just listening to her.

"Hey Liv." Grayson says as he leans over and pecks her on the cheek.

"Hi Grayson," Olivia says, blushing slightly.

They're both acting really strangely lately; I noticed it at the funeral. Normally they are teasing one another and engaging in quick conversation. Something's up. I resign myself to ask Grayson what's going on when we are next on our own.

Liv and Ava join us for a drink and then we all decide to make our way back to our rooms. It's been a really long day. Ava is staying with me this time around and I love it.

As we all say goodnight, I swipe the card into the slot and open the door in to the Suite. I stand holding the door open so Ava can walk in before me. I follow her to the bedroom, holding her shopping bags for her. "So when can I see what you bought?"

She gives me an evil grin and rummages through the bags until she finds the pink and white striped bag from _Victoria's Secret_. She dangles the bag from her fingers. "Just you wait and see what I've got for you in here."

She turns on her heel and makes her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

I settle back on to the bed and plug my iphone in to the speaker dock. I turn on Sam Smith and John Legend's _Lay me down_ and I sit and wait in anticipation. I know she loves this song.

She opens the door to the bathroom and is dressed in the most stunning navy blue lace corset with matching panties. The light from the bathroom is illuminating her from behind and she looks like a goddess. He chestnut hair is falling around her shoulders in waves. I can't seem to find my voice, and I can't swallow past the lump in my throat.

"Want to see what I got you?"

I nod and she makes her way over to me. She stands at the foot of the bed and twirls around for me. "What do you think?"

"Come here," I growl, "and I'll show you exactly what I think."

I crawl across the mattress and reach for her, hooking my index finger in to the top of the corset and tugging her body to mine.

She falls to the mattress and looks up at me through her lashes, smiling that smile that she reserves just for me.

I lower my mouth to hers and I show her how much I love what she bought for me, and how much I love her.

We miss our room service dinner.

We miss watching a movie.

We miss everything, because we are so caught up in each other that time doesn't mean a thing.

I love this girl with every fibre of my being and my mission in life is to make her happy no matter what.

She's mine and I will spend the rest of my days loving her.

#

We've finally wrapped the movie and Olivia and I are on our way to the hair and make-up tent. The girls have kindly offered to do our hair for the wrap party tonight. Ethan has been really busy with Grayson over the last two days. I think he has been helping him get ready for his gig tonight. I've been able to spend some extra time with my sister which has been lovely.

Liv and Ryan have been having a few issues. Liv hasn't spoken too much about it, but I can see that something is on her mind. Ethan was concerned about the way Grayson and Liv were with each other when he arrived a couple of days ago, so I'm not sure what's going on. I know its best not to push Liv; she'll talk to me when she's ready.

"What are you going to do with your hair Liv?"

"I think I'm going to have it all braided and pulled to the side in a messy bun."

"That sounds gorgeous. I think I'm going to leave mine down, but have it curled. Ethan loves it like that."

"Are you wearing that sapphire blue cocktail dress that you got at the designer outlet?"

I nod.

I bought the most stunning dress. It's a strapless flared cocktail dress, with netting under the skirt to make it stick out. It's navy blue satin with a waisted skirt and a tight bodice which features asymmetrical lines across the corset.

I'm going to team it with some strappy black heels that I also bought the same day to match it. I wanted to look special tonight; this is a big thing for Ethan and Liv. They've both wrapped their first feature film. I'm so proud of them.

"What are you wearing Liv?"

"The paparazzi will probably be camped outside the venue so I'm going for hot pink! You know that Marchesa dress I have that's one shoulder, silver detail at the waist. I'm going to team it with my sparkly silver heels that wrap around my ankles."

"Oh Liv, that's perfect. You'll be stunning; Ryan won't be able to take his eyes off you."

Olivia shifts in her seat like I've said something wrong. "Is everything okay with you and Ryan?"

She shrugs lightly. "Not sure Sis. Let's not talk about it tonight though; this is going to be a good night. Okay?"

I settle back in to the seat as Marie starts to work on my hair and David starts to make up my face.

I'm so excited about tonight, I can hardly wait.

When I return to the room, made up and feeling pretty, Ethan is nowhere in sight. I call out twice to him but there's no answer. I make my way in to our bedroom and I find an origami heart sitting on my pillow.

I smile; he really is adorably cute sometimes. I open the two halves and he has as usual left me a note in his neat handwriting:

**_Ava,_**

**_I'm sending a car to deliver you to the party at 7pm. I'm heading to the venue early to help Grayson. Remember I love you and I can't wait to see you._**

**_Yours Always, Ethan. X_**

God, how I love him.

I make my way to the bathroom and start to get ready for the party. The car will be here in thirty minutes and I still need to get dressed. I scramble through my closet to find my shoes, grab my new dress and head to the mirror to finish getting ready.

Twenty five minutes later I check my reflection and I'm happy with what I see. The dress and the shoes look amazing, and my hair and make-up is stunning. It's amazing what they've done. I feel beautiful. Life couldn't possibly get any better, well unless Nanny was still here with us.

I grab my clutch and my wrap and head to the lobby to make my way to Ethan. For possibly the first time, I feel like I belong on the arm of Ethan Drake.

Camera flashes are firing in all directions when I step from the car.

A few photographers back off when they realise that I'm no-one famous, but a few also call my name, obviously realising that I'm Ethan's girlfriend.

I smile politely and wave but I don't stop. All this attention is too much for me. I hurry along the walkway and make my way in to the restaurant.

The transformation inside is incredible.

The chairs and tables have been moved out and replaced with high tables surrounded by tall stools. They are scattered throughout the open space. Each table is draped with crisp white linen, holding a clear vase of hot pink and red hibiscus flowers.

Tea light candles line the open windows that lead to the outdoor terrace. The view of the ocean beyond the windows is breathtaking.

The majority of the crowd is congregating outside so I head in that direction, all the while searching for my man.

I see Liv and Ryan standing towards the back of the terrace, deep in conversation and not happy. I don't want to know what that's about so I head in the direction of Josh and Chelsea.

"Hey Guys. Have you seen Ethan?"

Joshua shifts uncomfortably but says, "No, he's supposed to be here somewhere though." Chelsea just smiles adorably at me as I give Josh a puzzled look. You would think as Ethan's PA that Josh would know where he is. In fact, he always knows where he is.

Gray and the band are set up on the large stage at the end of the terrace. A huge dance floor is situated in front of it. I sidle up to Grayson and grab his arm from behind. He spins and smiles at me. "Ava, you look great," he says, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Thanks. Have you seen Ethan?"

He looks out over the crowd. "Yeah, I've seen him, he's around here somewhere." He gestures towards the band who are now making their way on to the stage. "I have to get up there."

"Of course. Go. Good luck." I call out, continuing to scan the crowd for Ethan.

_Where is he?_

Grayson's soulful voice fills the room as he welcomes everyone and they launch in to one of their fast-paced hits. Bodies immediately take to the dance floor. I want to dance with Ethan, if only I could find him.

Olivia walks towards me with a scowl on her face. "You okay Sis?"

She shakes her head. "No. Ryan is impossible. I'm tired of it. I've had enough." Tears prick her eyes so I pull her against me in a warm embrace.

"I'm sorry Liv; do you want to talk about it?"

"Not now. I don't want to spoil the night," she says, wiping a stray tear from her face.

"C'mon, let's get drunk," she suggests, pulling me towards the bar.

As we head that way I hear Grayson say my name over the microphone. Everyone on the dance floor starts to call my name to try and get my attention.

_Geez, I haven't even had a drink yet and Gray is already setting me up for embarrassment._

I make my way back towards the stage area with Liv following close behind. Gray is grinning like a cheshire cat from the stage, holding a tambourine up high.

"Here she is, my favourite tambourine girl," he says. "How about a round of applause for Ava everyone."

The crowd start to clap and cheer, calling my name. Thank God I know most of them because this attention would be mortifying otherwise. I slowly climb the stairs to the stage giving Grayson my usual _I'll-kill-you-when-this-is-over_ smile.

He laughs as he hands me the tambourine and takes a seat behind the piano. He adjusts the microphone to the right height so that it sits in front of his mouth. He smiles and winks at me. "Tonight we are going to do something a little special."

I grasp the tambourine in my hand, wishing that I'd had at least one drink for a bit of Dutch courage. I look out to the crowd and smile down at Liv, Josh and Chelsea who are positioned directly in front of the stage.

_Where is Ethan?_

Grayson begins to play a sweet melody on the piano. I recognise it immediately; it's one of my favourite Jason Derulo songs. I give Grayson a smile. He always said he'd never do a _Jason_ song for me, I'm really impressed. He shrugs back at me and smiles widely as he starts to sing.

_"Wooooo, Oh Yeah...."_

He speaks back in to the microphone, "this one's for you Ava." I smile brightly at him, he is such a sweetie.

He starts the song, singing about a guy telling his girl that he wants to spend 105 years loving her and being with her. The rest of the band comes in with drums and guitars and Grayson keeps singing. I love it. They sound incredible, and my tambourine is keeping time brilliantly.

Grayson continues to sing and I start to sing along with him softly. I love this song. He notices me mouthing the words with him and he gives me a huge smile as he is about to head in to the chorus.

Before he does, another voice echoes through the sound system.

One that I recognise anywhere.

One that causes my heart to double in rhythm as the hairs on my body stand to attention.

I turn to the stairs at the end of the stage to see Ethan slowly climbing them, microphone in hand and singing the next line of the song, _"...Will you marry me?"_

He looks breathtakingly beautiful; black jeans, __ white linen shirt and black jacket. His hair is in its trademark style and those dimples that I adore are on full display.

His voice hits the high notes in the chorus perfectly. Who knew he had such an amazing range? Grayson continues to sing back-up for him, _"Ooh whoa ooh oh...."_

The song is of course _Marry me_ by _Jason Derulo_. It's about a guy telling his girl that he wants to marry her one day, when he can afford to, but in the meantime, he vows to love her totally and completely. It's a perfect song for us. Add to that the fact that it's by Jason Derulo and I don't think the boys could've chosen anything better.

I continue to play my tambourine, totally swept away in the music and the vision of Ethan singing to me.

He continues to walk towards me as he sings the chorus. When he reaches me he places a light chaste kiss on my cheek and gives me a huge white hibiscus, which I immediately place in my hair, behind my ear.

He delights in that, smiling warmly at me.

He takes my hand, so I continue to tap my tambourine against my hip in time with the strong drum beat.

Every time Ethan sings _"Will you marry me?"_ the crowd cheers and whistles. I look down to where Liv, Josh and Chelsea are standing and I see my parents standing with them. My free hand - which is still holding the tambourine - flies to my face in shock.

_What are they doing here?_

Tears prick my eyes as I look back to Ethan who is smiling at me. He obviously knew they were coming. I smile back as a stray tear creeps down my cheek, and stare straight in to his baby blues.

He continues to sing, the words of the song asking - _how many girls in the world can make him feel like this?_ I cock my head to the side and give him a wide eyed stare. He laughs and taps his finger to my nose, continuing with the lyrics and telling me that he _doesn't ever plan to find out_. __ I smile and nod.

When he comes to the part in the song where he has to sing that _I'm the love of his life_ , I mouth the words back to him, and he bends to kiss my cheek again.

Ethan launches back in to the chorus and sounds so incredible. I think I like this version more than the original.

As the music builds to the bridge of the song, he comes to the line about getting down on bended knee, and he does just that. He drops before me in front of everyone, down on one knee and places the microphone down on the stage beside him. Grayson flawlessly continues the song, right where Ethan left off.

In that moment, realisation of what is happening hits me.

The crowd is screaming, and cheering, but my attention is one hundred per cent focused on the gorgeous man kneeling before me. I don't want to miss any of this; I want to remember it forever.

He looks up in to my eyes and for the first time ever he looks nervous. My beautiful, confident boy is nervous. He takes my hand and places a red origami heart in to my palm.

"Open it," he says.

I let go of his hand and unfold the two halves of the heart. The most incredibly stunning diamond ring is nestled inside. It's from Tiffany. I remember staring at it when Ethan and I were in there one day. I must have cooed over it so much that he remembered it. It's a platinum, three diamond, emerald-cut ring, with the largest diamond nestled between two smaller ones. Although, small is not the word I would use for these diamonds. I hate to think how many carats it is, but it is simply divine.

The inside of the heart simply says:

Marry Me?

...in his flawless handwriting.

Tears spill on to my cheeks as I stare in to the eyes of the man I love.

The man I want to spend eternity with.

He stands to full height and takes the ring from my hand. Grayson and the band are still singing and playing behind us as we continue to live in our little bubble on stage.

"Ava, I love you. You're my heart, you're my life. I want to spend the rest of my days waking up to you. I want every memory I have to include you. I want to spoil and cherish you for the rest of our lives. I want to make sandcastles and sand angels, and re-live the best-first-date-ever over and over again with you. I'm in this for the long haul. I'm yours and I want you to always be mine. Please say yes. Ava Louise Lucas, will you marry me?"

I can't speak.

I can't breathe.

I'm only capable of crying and nodding, so I do both.

My voice breaks through eventually and a breathless " _Yes_ ," passes my lips.

Ethan cups my face with his hands and kisses me hard on the lips. He grabs the microphone from the floor and triumphantly yells, "She said _YES!_ " to the crowd.

A loud cheer erupts as he slips the ring on to my finger and picks me up, spinning me around and around on the stage. I'm vaguely aware that Grayson has just finished the song, and before I know it, he jumps from the piano and engulfs us in a big hug.

"Congratulations Guys," he says with that winning smile.

Before I know it, we're surrounded by Liv, Josh, Chelsea, and my parents. Liv and mum have tears running down their cheeks too.

"We're so happy for you kiddo," Dad says. "He's a great boy. Asked for my permission and all. I will be proud to call him my son-in-law." I throw my arms around my dad's neck and squeeze him tight.

Ethan reclaims me after we've been passed around all our family and friends and turns me around so I'm face-to-face with Madeline. My skin prickles. I don't want her to ruin this for me. She takes a deep breath and says, "Congratulations and welcome to the family," with a smile. I almost faint on the spot.

I'm sure that Ethan has put her up to this but either way it is a step forward for us and I'm glad for Ethan's sake.

"Thank you Madeline, I appreciate that." I respond kindly.

She smiles and places a light kiss on my cheek and then Ethan's, before she turns to walk back in to the restaurant.

Ethan looks so peaceful and so happy.

He grabs my hand and we make our way down the side of the stage. He stops and pulls me close when we are out of view of everyone.

"I love you Ava, you've made me the happiest fuckin' man alive tonight."

I lean up for a kiss which he gladly gives me. "I love you too Ethan and I'm going to continue to love you for the rest of our lives."

He pulls me in for a deep kiss. We don't come up for air for some time. When we both pull back breathless he gives me a panty-dropping smile.

"You look breathtaking tonight; I can't wait to get you alone."

_Is it too early for us to leave now?_

"As much as I'd love that, I think we need to get back out there. I can't believe my parents are here. You did that?" I ask.

"I did."

"You sang Jason Derulo to me?"

He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close. "I did."

"You asked me to marry you?"

"I did."

"You really want to marry me?"

"I do."

"Well let's get back out there and celebrate."

"Anything for you _Mrs_ Drake."

"The _future_ Mrs Drake." I correct with a smile.

_I love the sound of that!_

He smiles, "I love you Ava _,_ so _fuckin_ much."

I laugh at his choice of words.

Caressing his beautiful face I say, "I love you too Ethan Drake, unconditionally, forever."

He smiles with satisfaction, "Now all your forevers are mine."

# (for now...)

#

#

# (Yes, you read that right!)

The Hawaiian sun is warming my weary bones. After a huge night of celebrating my baby sister's engagement, I majorly over slept. Too much partying, cocktails in particular, have left me exhausted and hung over. My leg dangles limply over the side of my lounge chair as I hide behind my Jackie-O sunglasses and my large white sunhat. It wouldn't do for the paparazzi to get a shot of me today feeling the way I do.

On the lounge chair to my left lies the woman of the hour.

Ava is sleeping, looking her usual stunning self in a white bikini and dark sunglasses.

My sister is classically beautiful, with flawless skin and long wavy hair. She fails to realise how stunning she is. Maybe now that she has one of the most gorgeous men in the world on her arm, she may realise just how amazing she is.

Her breathing is deep and even and a small smile plays on her lips. Her left hand is entwined with Ethan's right. He lays on her other side, also sleeping. Her new bling is sparkling brightly in the sunshine. They both look peaceful and happy.

I'm so incredibly happy for them. They belong together. Anyone in their presence can see clearly how much they love one another. Love like that doesn't come along often so you have to grab it and hold on when it does.

My current relationship has pretty much run its course. Ryan and I have been together for a while but we've reached a stalemate. He is sweet and kind to me, but the sparks have gone. He's so focused on his career that I'm not sure that I fit in with his grand plan.

I don't hold any ill-will toward him for that. I'm ambitious too. It's just that love has always been important to me and when I love someone they always come first.

Ryan puts his career first, and me second.

A lot of women would be fine with that, just to have the opportunity to be with him. He is ruggedly handsome, highly successful and wealthy. All those qualities are highly sought after in Hollywood. If I wasn't looking for _the one_ , then I would happily continue this with him.

But the truth is, I'm getting to that stage where I'm sick of dating, and I just want to find that someone special. Just like my baby sister has.

I sip on the straw of my diet coke and scan the pool area.

A familiar pair of eyes is locked on to mine. We both have sunglasses on but I can still feel the glare of those deep green eyes piercing me. He saunters towards my lounge chair dressed in lime green board shorts, his chiselled stomach on display, and his smooth olive skin shining in the sun. Dark tattoos stretch across his chest and ribs, making him look impossibly hot. His dark brown hair is cut short on the sides and left longer on top, sitting spiked atop his head. He has light stubble across his strong jaw, but not enough to obscure the dimple that sits on his left cheek.

Yes, Grayson Adams is one hot male specimen.

Always has been.

I've been attracted to Grayson since Ethan first introduced me to him after we went out for drinks following one of the first table-reads we did for the movie. I hoped he would ask me out, but it never happened. I guess he's only interested in being friends. Ryan ended up beating him to it anyway, so that kind of put a stop to any hope of anything happening with us.

I rake my top teeth over my bottom lip, trying to calm my breathing and slow my heart beat. I don't want him to know how he affects me.

Grayson reaches the end of my lounge chair and gestures to the open one beside me. "Can I join you Liv?" he asks. I love the way he calls me Liv, I love the way it sounds coming out of his mouth.

"Sure," I nod casually.

He spreads his towel out on the chair and sits back, stretching his lean body out. He bends his arms up and places his hands under his head, showcasing his strong arms and the hard slabs of muscle on his chest. "Feeling okay?"

I shake my head. "Not really. A bit hung over, too many cocktails."

"Me too," he laughs. "It was a great night though wasn't it." He nods towards Ava and Ethan, "They look wiped."

I smile and nod in agreement. "Who knew getting engaged was so exhausting."

He cocks his head to the side and I can see his eyes roving over my bikini clad body behind his Ray Ban aviators.

I smile. "You right there Grayson?" I'm well aware of how good I look in the pale blue bikini I have on. It's my favourite.

"Uh huh," he replies with a cheeky smile. "I'm just admiring the view."

_He's so cocky!_

Despite the electric attraction that I feel when I'm near him, I always thought that he wanted to leave our relationship at the friendship level. Well, that is except for one night when I went to a bar with Ethan and Ava to watch Grayson play and we had a few too many drinks. We sat and talked for ages before we caught a cab back to my place. We shared a pretty passionate kiss in our drunken state and I thought he may have been interested that night but after he dropped me home, that was it. Although I was with Ryan so maybe he was honouring their acquaintance.

Talk about mixed signals.

"So you and Ryan looked intense last night," he says casually.

"Yeah, things have headed south very quickly there. He's more interested in his career than me, and I'm not in the mood to play second best." I respond with attitude.

"Well that's his loss," Grayson says with a smile. He mutters something under his breath that sounds like _"....and my gain,_ " but I can't be sure.

My heart speeds up at the thought of that.

He stands over me and extends his hand. "Come for a swim with me?"

I eye him through my glasses, trying to decide what angle he is playing at. I'm not in the mood for a fling, and I fear that my heart wouldn't survive it if he was just looking for a one-nighter with me. I like him too much and this break up with Ryan is still too raw.

I throw caution to the wind and stop overthinking things. I stand and take his hand, tossing my sunglasses and hat on to my chair. Clasping my hand tightly he leads me to the stairs in to the pool. Electricity is pulsing up and down my arm setting all my senses on high alert. Grayson releases my hand and dives under the water, swimming away from me.

I take my time lowering myself in to the cool water. It always takes me a while to acclimatise. Before I know it, Grayson grabs me around the waist from behind and tosses me beneath the surface of the water. I squeal as I drop down before I pop back through the surface, spluttering, and narrowing my eyes at him.

"It's on now Grayson," I say moving towards him and splashing his face as I go.

He cocks his head to the side giving me a panty-dropping smile. "Really Liv?"

He crooks his finger to gesture me towards him. He looks seductive and gorgeous with water running down his chest.

"Bring it on," he says playfully, "bring it on Liv!"

"Don't underestimate me Grayson; if I want something, I get it."

He chuckles, "I don't doubt that for a moment."

He moves through the water and ducks down when he reaches me so we are face to face. "Tell me what you want Liv." His voice is low and smooth, and oozes sensuality.

I swallow roughly before I can respond. I'm trying to hold my resolve but really, he is too hot for his own good. "That's for me to know and you to find out Grayson."

He smiles, showcasing that dimple and wraps a hand around my waist, pulling me tightly against him. I gasp at his sudden movement and I place my hands on his firm biceps to stop from falling over.

"Oh, I'll find out Liv, and when I do, you won't be able to stop me from fulfilling your every whim."

"Is that a promise?" I ask flirtatiously, batting my eye lashes at him.

"Abso-fucking-lutely," he responds with a laugh.

He releases me and swims towards the pool bar, leaving me in the middle of the pool a hot melted mess. Not even the cold water can cool my heated skin or slow my speeding heart.

Wow, Grayson sure knows how to flirt. I wonder what else he can do!

BOOK TWO IN THE 'FOREVER' SERIES:

'FOREVER IS YOURS'

OLIVIA AND GRAYSON'S STORY

COMING REALLY SOON

TURN THE PAGE FOR A SNEAK PEEK....

# SNEAK PEEK OF BOOK TWO IN THE 'FOREVER' SERIES:

#

#

#

I stare at the navy blue satin and chiffon, looking at it sway, as I turn to the right and look over my shoulder in to the mirror. This dress hugs every one of my curves and flows seamlessly over my body. It is simply stunning.

"What do you think?" I ask as I turn to my sister Ava.

"I think you look every bit the movie star you are Liv," she replies with a smile. She motions for me to spin around so she can see the back. "That's definitely the one."

We have been searching for a dress for me to wear to Ava's upcoming wedding. I'm her Maid of Honour. My gorgeous sister is marrying Ethan Drake, my co-star in the movie, _Forever is mine_. We've just finished a two week press junket and premiered the movie in LA, New York, London and then my home town of Melbourne, Australia. It has broken box office records in each country we have premiered in, probably due to the fact that the book that the movie is based on was a huge best seller with the teen market.

The only down side is the constant presence of paparazzi that seem to follow me everywhere I go. I don't understand how they can get shots of me doing the most mundane things, but they do.

Last week one of the magazines published shots of me grocery shopping - just ridiculous. I guess that now Ethan and I can make them serious dollars, they are going to continue to hound us. Of course with Ethan and Ava's engagement hitting the news sites, Ava is now attracting her own attention.

Ethan and I are soon to start filming the sequel based on the second book of the trilogy - Forever is yours. My sister and Ethan met when she came to the United States to work as my Personal Assistant, and they fell completely for each other very soon after. I'm so pleased for them. They're perfect together.

I turn around to check out the back side of the dress in the mirror. "Is this colour okay, I mean it is dark for a beach wedding."

Ava shakes her head, "Liv, we plan to have the ceremony against the ocean at sunset, I think the blue will complement the water and the backdrop perfectly. I adore this one; I really think you should get it. The chiffon will blow in the breeze, and I think the colour will also suit Amanda and Chelsea."

Ava has also asked our cousin Amanda and our friend Chelsea to be attendants in the wedding. She wanted me to choose my dress first so that she can tell the girls what colour their dresses need to be. Ava is not fussy about us all wearing the same style, just the same colour.

Ava's wedding dress is divine. We found it when we were at home in Australia for the premiere. She wanted an Australian designer and of course wanted our Mum to be part of the process of finding it.

"Okay, this is the one then. Let's do it."

Ava claps her hands and goes over to the Bridal Consultant to finalise the order. I twirl once more to check out all angles in the mirror and decide that this really is perfect. I love it. I feel sexy and feminine, and happy to wear this on such an important occasion. I mean not only will we have to look at the wedding photos for years to come, but I'm sure that despite the private location Ethan and Ava have chosen, the press will still manage to locate us.

I return to the fitting room and change back in to my jeans, wedges and pale blue shirt. My long dark hair is piled on top of my head today to counteract the warm LA weather. I throw my bag over my arm and grab hold of my sunglasses, ready to put them in place before we exit the store and find ourselves face-to-face with the ever present photographers.

"C'mon Liv," Ava calls to me. "I want to grab some lunch before we have to meet Ethan at the house."

"Let's go," I say as I pull back the large drape of the fitting room and make my way out to her.

Ava has driven us up in to the Hollywood Hills. We pull up outside an enormous black wrought iron gate. She lowers the window and presses a button that causes the gate to swing open slowly. Beyond it is a stunning, modern, single-storey home.

"Ava this is amazing."

"Isn't it!" she exclaims excitedly. "Ethan and I think this is definitely the one, but I wanted you to see it first to get your opinion."

She stops the car under an entry porch and switches off the engine as Ethan emerges from the house and opens her door. He pulls her against him and murmurs, "I missed you" as he places a kiss to her lips. Ava giggles as she takes his hand as they turn to make their way to the front door.

"Hey Liv," Ethan says as he bends to place a kiss on my cheek. "What do you think?"

"So far it's amazing, but let me check the inside out first." I laugh at his enthusiasm.

As we step inside the foyer I catch a glimpse of someone in the room to the right. "Come through, Grayson is here too, I wanted his opinion as well," Ethan says.

Grayson Adams is Ethan's best friend, and the lead singer of _Awesome Rebel_. His band has just been signed to a major record label after years of hard work on their part around LA. They're really good, and with Grayson at the helm, really it was only a matter of time before they were noticed.

Grayson turns from the floor-to-ceiling windows he is looking out of and locks his deep green eyes on to mine. No matter how many times he does that, I always have the same breathless reaction to that stare. He is gorgeous with his dark spiky hair, tanned skin and chiselled face. The defined body and sexy tattoos that cover his upper body are not on display, but just the knowledge that they are there has my blood simmering in my veins.

Truthfully, I've been attracted to Grayson from the moment I met him when Ethan introduced us. We had just started rehearsals for _Forever is mine_ and I thought Grayson was the hottest guy I had met since coming to LA. We've flirted and spent time together during production, even sharing a drunken kiss or two once in a while, but once I started to date Ryan, the Producer on the movie, Grayson backed off. We've settled to _just friends_ status ever since. Now that Ryan and I are no longer together, he still hasn't made a move, so the _just-friends_ status remains.

Truthfully, I've worked so hard to get my career to where it is now; I can't afford any distractions, no matter how gorgeous they may be.

Grayson saunters towards me and smiles that panty-dropping smile that he is famous for. "Hey Liv," he says before placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Hi Gray, what's up?" I ask casually.

"Lots and nothing," he replies. He always says that when I ask him that question, I don't know why.

He moves to Ava and gives her a tight squeeze before Ethan starts to lead us through the wide open spaces of what looks to be their new home.

The house is remarkable.

Bright, open, modern - yet charming.

I can see Ethan and Ava here.

The space suits them.

The pool and deck area out the back is incredible and I can imagine us all lazing out there on hot LA days. After looking through the kitchen and living areas, five bedrooms with attached ensuites, study, gym, home-theatre, and guest rooms, we all re-convene in the main living area, looking through the open patio doors to the pool.

"What do you think?" Ava asks as she leans back on Ethan's chest while he stares out over the landscaped garden.

"It's incredible," Grayson and I both answer at the same time, bursting in to laughter as we do.

Ethan smiles, "Glad you both like it. I think this is definitely the one. I'll contact the realtor and close the deal." He places a soft kiss on to Ava's lips, "I think we'll be so happy here."

"So do I," she replies with a soft contented sigh.

Grayson breaks the moment, "Well at least you guys have somewhere to live when we get back from the wedding in Fiji."

"What do you mean man?" Ethan asks.

Grayson moves out to the patio and sinks in to one of the soft padded chairs. "I just found out that my building is being demolished to make way for new condos. As of next week I don't have anywhere to be."

"Shit," Ethan says. "You're always welcome here with us for as long as you need."

"Thanks E, but no offence, I don't think you and Ava want to start your married life with me in tow."

"You're always welcome here Grayson, you know that," Ava responds with a genuine smile. "As you can see, we have heaps of room."

"Thanks guys but I'll sort something out. We're heading on tour in a couple of months so I just need to find something in the meantime. I'll sort out permanent accommodation when we get back."

Without thought I blurt out, "You could stay with me Grayson."

He turns his gorgeous face to mine, eye brows raised, surprised by my invitation.

I continue, "I mean Ava is moving out to be here with Ethan and her room will be vacant. You can have it until you leave for the tour if you like."

Grayson smiles at me and I can see his mind ticking over as he weighs up my offer. "Liv, I think that would work great, as long as you don't mind."

"No, I think it will be perfect." I respond, wondering if this really is a good idea. The more I run it through my head, the more I realise that we will need to put down some ground rules so that the lines of our friendship don't blur. "How about we have dinner tomorrow evening and discuss how to make it work."

"Brilliant," he says, his eyes sparkling. "I really appreciate this Liv. I'll be the best housemate you've ever had. You won't want me to leave." He smiles.

_Oh yes I will!_ I think as he gives me that stunning smile again.

I smile back at him, working on resisting him and that smug exterior. I know that he is a sweetheart underneath, and that's the part that I will find the hardest to resist. I'm a sucker for the sweet bad boys.

Grayson fits that bill perfectly.

He is sexy, gorgeous and hot, but his heart outweighs all of that once you get to know him. He's an amazing friend to Ethan and Ava, more like a brother to Ethan really, and he has always been a darling to me. As long as we set out the rules, this should work fine.

A small bubble of excitement rises in my stomach as I think of sharing space with him day-in-day-out, but I squash it down. He will be heading on tour in a couple of months and I will be busy filming the sequel to our movie, but for the next few weeks, we can at least enjoy each other's company and be friends.

_Can't we?_

Day one of _let's-see-if-I-can-resist-Grayson_ begins.......

Forever is yours....coming very soon....

Stay tuned.....

#

To my wonderful husband who once again allowed me to tap away with this one. Thanks for letting me have the time to do this and for your unwavering support. Love you lots. X

To my two beautiful children who put up with Mummy typing on her lap top when I probably should have been helping them with homework or making dinner. Thanks for letting me get this one out. Love you both bunches. X

To my sister Joanne, who was the first person I trusted this baby with. Thanks for reading it and for your feedback and encouragement. I couldn't have done it without you. X

To my writing buddy and dear friend - Jes Logan. I am so pleased to have you on this journey with me. Thanks for your enthusiasm and your support throughout the process, I couldn't have done it without you. It is so nice to be able to share the ride and I can't wait for the world to experience your beautiful books. X

To Kirsty who constantly makes me laugh, and has been so encouraging throughout this writing journey I have embarked on. Thanks for the laughs and the support. X

To Sonia, who is convinced that I have a best seller on my hands every time I give her one of my books to read. Your enthusiasm means the world. X

To my parents, and parents-in-law - thanks for not freaking out when you read my first book. Your support means a lot. X

To my cousin-in-law, Trent, who was the first male to finish _Side by Side_. I was so impressed that you got through it all. It meant a lot and deserves acknowledgement. Thanks. X

To all my friends and family who were the first ones to download _Side by Side_ and support me. I can't thank you all enough. X

To Emily from EM Tippetts Book designs who once again brought my characters to life with her wonderful cover work and marketing materials. Thank you so much. X

To everyone who downloaded Side by Side and sent me encouraging emails and messages, thank you. It is not easy to release your book baby to the world. Especially your first one. The positive feedback has allowed me to have the courage to keep going and release this one.

To all the readers for taking the time to read my little story, thank you, I am truly grateful.

XOXO

#

Hi, I'm Wendy Louise. First and foremost I'm a Mum and a Wife. I live in Melbourne, Australia and my first love, aside from my family and travelling, is reading. I love books. I can't get enough of them. The experience of writing is wonderful and I hope you enjoy reading my books as much as I enjoy bringing them to life.

I hope to bring the sequel to this book - _Forever is yours_ - Grayson and Olivia's story - to you very soon.

In the meantime, head to my website and check out my first release - Side by Side. There is a sneak peek of it over the page.....

I'd love to hear from you, so feel free to contact me.

Happy reading!

Wendy XOXO

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**When Katy Lou Reynolds tags along with her boyfriend to an Underground Cage Fight the last thing she expects to find in the ring is her childhood best friend, Elijah**.

Katy has carved a nice life for herself; she is a successful author, has great friends and lives in a nice apartment in San Francisco. Seeing Elijah in the ring brings back all the memories of her school years, a drunken mother, an absent father and relentless school bullies. Most of all, it re-awakens the feelings she had for him.

**Elijah has always held her heart, from the age of three to now, and seeing him again brings all those feelings to the forefront.**

**But he left her when they were fourteen and didn't keep in touch, so is it worth risking her heart to make him part of her life again?**

Elijah Trent is a great fighter. He channels all the aggression and frustration he suffered at the hands of an abusive father in to every fight, every time. His success feeds his lifestyle full of new cities and endless women eager to spend time with him. Elijah has always regretted leaving San Francisco in such a hurry as a kid, but most of all, he regrets leaving behind his best friend Katy Lou. A friend who he loved and protected with his life.

**There isn't anything he wouldn't give to see her again, but if he does, would she forgive him for leaving her and risk her heart?**

**Here's a sneak peak of Side by Side. Head to my website for the links to download it....you can sample the entire first chapter there also.**

www.wendylouisebooks.com

#

A Different Life

The shrill beeping of the alarm wakes me at seven on the dot like it does every other morning. I rub my eyes to rid them of sleep and run a hand over my face recalling the fact that I have dreamt about Elijah for the fifth night in a row, which is never a good sign. I have dreamt of him; of that day on and off for the nine years since he walked out of my life without so much as a goodbye. No words, no letter, no conversation, just nothing. No life, no Elijah and nothing. That was the day I felt like my world imploded and crashed around me so I guess I should call this recurring dream a nightmare because every time I wake from it I feel the absolute dread in my stomach with the realization that he is gone.

He. Is. Gone.

I look to my right and see Jacob's dark head buried in to the pillow beside me. Jacob, my boyfriend. We've been together on and off for two years. I love him but I am not _in_ love with him. I was once, but not now. He is convenient, comfortable and nice to me so we stay together. I know he feels the same way as me. I see how his eyes flare when tall, shapely women pass by. I see how he lusts after them with dark eyes. Dark eyes that used to look at me like that, but no more. He rolls to the side and places a heavy arm across my stomach. "Morning babe," he says with a deep gravelly voice.

I place my hand over his on my stomach because the contact feels good and I roll closer to him, burying my face in to his neck to catch his scent and to snuggle close. I have always been a tactile person, I like touching and I like the feel of Jacob's arms around me. I attribute that to Elijah. He was the first person to wrap me up in his strong arms, squeeze me and make me feel safe.

_My_ Elijah, only he's not _mine_ anymore.

You'd think I'd be over it by now. The dreams always bring it all back. I don't have them very often, but when they come back they come back with a vengeance. I rub my hand roughly over my head as if it will help to rid my mind of my thoughts.

Of him.

It's hard to forgive and forget when you had your soul mate and you lost him. I know I was only fourteen and what would I have known about soul mates at that age.

Right?

Wrong!

I knew.

I knew with every fibre of my being that he was it for me. It was a bone deep, gut wrenching feeling that I fear I will never have again for the remainder of this life.

I give Jacob a squeeze and then pull back the covers to make my way to the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" Jacob groans from the bed, rolling on to his side before scooting up against the headboard.

"I have to write today. I told you yesterday. I have a deadline in a week and I have to meet it."

"Damn," he says, "I was hoping I could get some action this morning." He raises his eye brows as he reclines on his elbows, revealing his tanned chest and abs as the cotton sheet pools around his waist. He gives me that smile that snagged me in the beginning and his left dimple makes an appearance.

I laugh as I disappear through the bathroom door, "Sorry babe, no can do this morning."

I hear him groan as I reach in to the shower cubicle and turn the water on hot. I want to wash away my dream, and my thoughts and this life. I would if it was possible, but I know it's not.

This is my life.

This is where I have ended up and I have to grab it by the horns and live it because I can't have a different life no matter how much I may want it.

I am a writer.

It's the one thing about my life that I like.

Hell, I love!

I think my writing is a way for me to escape the reality of what I live. I pour every emotion, every wish, every dream and every hope in to every book that I write. It's made my novels very popular and I have a great fan base. My third novel was the one that got me a traditional publishing deal and now my books grace the shelves of book stores and the screens of e-readers all over the world. My genre is romance and every hero I have in every book I write is based on Elijah. He's the only one I can even think about using as a muse, and the women who read my books adore it.

Like me, they adore _him_.

I dig deep each time I write a new leading man and stretch my mind back to my childhood best friend who loved and protected me from the age of three when he moved next door to me until he disappeared from my life at fourteen.

My childhood best friend who protected me from bullies at school who would chase me home. The same bullies that would tease me about my alcoholic mother.

My childhood best friend who lived his own nightmare with an abusive father.

Hell, I need to shake these dreams.

I settle down at my laptop, open up the file that I have been working on and continue to edit my current masterpiece. I have to hand it over to my editor next week and I still have ten chapters to review. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so this can be a long and laborious task for me.

Jacob appears in the doorway, freshly showered and looking yummy in his sweats and a tight grey t-shirt that shows off every plane of his magnificent chest. "I'm out of here Katy." He saunters over and places a wet kiss on my cheek. "You remember that we have the fight tonight right?" he asks.

Shit! I forgot about that. Jacob loves going to underground cage fights, the type where they use mixed martial arts to just about kill one another. I hate it, but I go with him because he enjoys it and I guess that in some dark recess of my mind, I like to use some of what I see in my novels. I admit that a few of my leading men have been fashioned on the occasional ripped body of some of the fighters that have graced the ring. That said, there is so much I would rather be doing than watching guys throw punches and kick one another to the point that one or both are covered in blood, but I put up with it for Jacob.

"I haven't forgotten," I lie.

"Great, I'll pick you up at seven then. Be ready." He places another kiss, this time a soft, dry one to my lips, before he grabs his car keys from the buffet by the door and heads out. "Later," he calls back.

I hear the front door close with a soft click as I lean back in my chair and rub my hands across my face again. These dreams are disrupting my sleep and that in turn disrupts my ability to think clearly and concentrate on my writing. I head to the kitchen for coffee. I make it strong and black and return to my computer with it in hand, hoping that it will somehow contain the magic brew that will wipe all the thoughts, dreams and memories from my jumbled mind so I can get back in to the job at hand.

The afternoon passes in a blur of words and typing and before I know it I need to drag my sorry self out of the chair and get ready before Jacob comes to get me. The venues for these fights are usually old, barren and very cold so I always dress warm. I pull on a sweater over my faded skinny jeans and grab a bright scarf that I twist artfully around my neck so that it both warms me and adds a fashion statement. I pull my hair back in to a messy bun and add some small silver dangling earrings with little stars hanging from the ends to my ear lobes to complete the look. A brush of mascara and a swipe of gloss and I'm done.

I run to my room to grab a clutch and fill it with just the essentials, my money, ID, gloss and phone. Just as I am fastening the clasp, the doorbell rings. I move to grab it and snag my foot on the stool by the door of my bedroom. The heel of my ankle boot catches and I fall, hard. "Ouch!" I yell. I grab my ankle that feels like it is twisted and try to get my boot off to rub it.

"Katy!" I hear Jacob say from the other side of the front door, "Are you okay?"

"Use your key Jacob and come in here," I call back, "I tripped."

Jacob appears in a blur at my bedroom door and lifts me effortlessly from the floor, moving both of us to the end of my bed and helping me to remove my shoe. "What did you do?" he asks as he places his long fingers around my foot and starts to rub it.

I feel like a total idiot. "Don't ask." I groan back.

"Should we just stay in?" he asks, but I see the disappointment in the crease between his eyes. He lives for these damn fights.

"No, we should still go," I respond. "Can you go grab me some anti-inflammation cream from the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom? I'll put that on it and I'll be good to go."

He places me gently on the edge of the bed and moves towards the bathroom door. "You sure?" he asks.

I nod, "Yep, I need to get out, I've been indoors typing all day. I want to go."

Jacob returns and softly applies the cream to my ankle and foot. The entire room fills with the methyl salicylate smell that comes with these balms. I don't mind it; it smells like a locker room after a really good football game. Jacob replaces my sock and helps me to carefully put my boot back on. "Maybe you should wear flats tonight Katy?" he presses.

If there is one thing he should know about me, it is that I do not compromise my footwear for anyone. Shoes make the outfit. They also happen to be my weakness. One look in my walk-in robe and anyone could see that. I have a lot of shoes. Close to a hundred in fact, not that I would ever admit that to anyone.

"I'm not wearing flats," I scoff. "These boots make my legs look long and skinny."

Jacob runs his hands up the outside of my thighs, "Katy, your legs don't need shoes to make them look great." He can be such a sweetie sometimes, and in those moments I feel guilty that he is not with some girl that worships at his feet.

"Let's go," he says. I take his proffered hand and he helps me to stand. I grimace as my foot takes my weight but once I take a few steps I'm fine. It hurts, but not badly, it's bearable. We settle in to Jacob's jeep - which is midnight black, unlike my matching red one - and he pulls out in to the traffic, weaving our way across town to the underground.

The place is full tonight. There are a lot more people here than previous fights I have been to. We are all squished in to rows of temporary seating that have been brought in to surround the cage-like structure in the middle of the room. Some people hold banners and signs and chant as they wait for their heroes to take to the canvas stage that graces the room. Jacob is excited, he gets all touchy-feely and giggly before the fights start and he is that way now. He keeps nuzzling the side of my neck just under my ear. It was cute the first few times, and now it is starting to annoy me.

The announcer's voice comes across the speakers, bellowing in to the room. "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome. WELCOME!" The cheers and chants ramp up to a deafening level and I am tempted to stuff my fingers in to my ears to block it out. Jacob is on his feet beside me clapping and cheering through the hands he has cupped around his mouth.

The voice booms back through the speakers, "Tonight we have the undefeated champion up first. He's all yours; welcome your man, Johnny, _the Jaws_ Jackson!"

_Lose Yourself_ by Eminem is pounding through the large speakers and filling the room.

The crowd goes ballistic. I've seen this guy fight before. He is lethal. He doesn't hold back once that bell goes and I have never seen an opponent of his win against him. He makes his way in to the room amongst blaring music, followed by his entourage that includes a number of scantily clad women with hairdos that are too big and breasts that spill from their too-small tops. They hang on to his arms as he skates through the crowd making his way to the cage. He jumps on to the canvas and removes his long black silk robe, throwing it to one of his team that waits in the corner of the ring before jumping around the middle of the stage throwing mock punches in the air. The crowd cheers and this only serves to rev him up more. He cups his ear with his hand egging them on to scream louder, and they do.

"Now for his opponent," the announcer bellows, "we have a new fighter gracing the cage tonight ladies and gentlemen. That's right, a virgin for _Jaws_ to sink his teeth in to." The crowd cheers even louder at the thought of the bloodbath that is about to take place here.

"Let's welcome to the cage, Eli _the Terminator_ Trent."

Every nerve in my body suddenly fires up. Blood is rushing through my veins and pooling in my ears like a waterfall. All I can hear is the gushing sound as I rise to stand next to Jacob to try and get a glimpse of this guy. Standing on my tip-toes, I crane my neck to try and get a view over the heads in front of us.

Eli Trent.

What are the chances?

_Shut Up_ , by the Black Eyed Peas is screaming through the speakers as the crowd roars. I hate that song. It evokes bad memories for me.

He rounds the corner coming from the same direction as Johnny just did. He wears a dark blue silk robe with a hood that currently covers his face. _The Terminator_ is embroidered on the back of it in silver lettering. Just like Johnny, three barely-dressed girls hang from his arms as he makes his way through the crowd, which is still yelling and screaming with anticipation. He climbs up in to the cage with strength and grace and turns his back to me to remove his silk robe and hands it to his trainer. He starts to jump about to stay warm and punches the air in front of him to show his form. The muscles in his back are ripped and you can see them working under his tanned skin with every punch he throws.

He bumps hands with his trainer and turns around.

That's when I see his face.

It's Elijah.

Nine years older, but I know it's him. I can tell by his eyes and those arms and that hair and those lips.

There is no mistaking it, none.

It's. _My_. Elijah.

Read other books by Wendy Louise
