

### Stars and Hearts

### By Candy J. Moon

### Copyright Candy J. Moon 2016

### Smashwords Edition

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favourite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Website: candymoonmagic.wordpress.com

Twitter: Candy J. Moon @CandyMoonMagic

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For Mum and Dad

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

About the Author

Other Books
Chapter One

"Yes!" I cried, throwing my phone in the air and catching it with both hands. "I've got the job!" This wasn't just any old job. I'd landed the job I wanted most – the job in the box office at my local theatre. "I'm going to be working with famous people!" I exclaimed, spinning around the room like a demented demon, before flopping into my favourite squishy purple chair and texting Mum to give her the good news. I couldn't believe my luck. I was going to get paid to watch plays and party with actors in the most exciting place in town. Perhaps I could even overcome my shyness with men and grab myself an actor boyfriend!

I'd achieved quite a bit in my eighteen years - won three swimming galas, appeared on a documentary singing a protest song about chickens, and passed most of my school exams with flying colours. But I'd never had a boyfriend. When it came to men, I'd always been a super anxious quivering mass of jelly. Whenever anyone even vaguely attractive was around, I'd have a virtual panic attack and forget how to speak properly. Men just found me weird.

My parents had recently split up after Mum discovered Dad was having an affair with the butt ugly bitch next door. He was a heavy drinker, so living with him hadn't been the easiest ride. Mum and I decided to leave the small town I'd lived in all my life and move to somewhere more lively - Ivorford, a bustling town thirty miles north of London. It was far enough away from our old place to escape the gossiping neighbours, but close enough to still see friends and family. Moving from a house to a flat was like a permanent holiday – no garden to tend to, no stairs to vacuum, less cleaning to do. And the longer we were away from my dad, the more we realised just how awful living with him had been. The affair had been a wonderful blessing in disguise.

Mum and I were lucky – she landed a job in a café less than two weeks after moving, and I was given my box office job about a month after that. I'd desperately needed something good to happen, and this was the best news I'd had in a long time.

The afternoon before I started my new job, I arrived at the coolest hair salon in town to get myself a sexy new haircut. As soon as I stepped through the glass door of the modern black and white salon, I was greeted by a tall, skinny, thirty-something lady with short blonde hair.

"Hiya!" she said, all smiles. "How can I help?"

"I have an appointment with Sandra," I said.

"That's me!" she replied, sliding her finger down the appointment book. "Yazmin?"

"Yep!"

She fastened a black cloak around me and led me to the nearest chair.

"Would you like a drink?" she asked, as I hopped into the seat.

"Black coffee please - no sugar."

Sandra disappeared through a beaded curtain at the back of the salon as I gazed at myself in the mirror. There was no reason I couldn't get myself a really nice bloke. I was as pretty as the next girl with my glittering dark eyes and chestnut brown hair, and I was easy to get along with. I could surely find someone if only I could somehow learn to string two words together when an attractive man was within thirty foot of my aura.

My exotic looks came partly from my mum's largely Greek heritage and also from my dark-skinned father whose heritage was a mystery as he'd been adopted as a baby.

Sandra quickly returned, carrying a steaming cup of coffee.

"Now, what can I do for you?" she asked, placing the cup down in front of me.

"Something like this, if you can," I said, leaning sideways as I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out a picture I'd ripped from a magazine. The model on the pic looked a bit like me.

Sandra studied the photo. "So, just below shoulder length and graduated around your face. No problem – that should _really_ suit you."

After lathering my hair in a strong minty shampoo which made me sneeze, she led me back to the chair and set about combing and chopping and snipping.

"Been on holiday this year?" she asked, as I interrupted her work to take an awkward sip of coffee.

"No, I haven't had a holiday since I was a kid. Mum and I have only recently moved here though, so it feels kind of like we're on holiday at present."

"Yeah, it's a nice town," she said, pulling my head straight to check my hair had been cut the same length both sides. "Fixed up with a job yet?"

"Yes!" I replied, excitement bubbling up inside me. "I start at the Two Masks Theatre tomorrow – in the box office."

"That's nice! Be careful of those actors though – they're only after one thing. If I was you, I'd stay well away."

"Oh," I said, thinking how narrow minded it was of her to presume every actor was the same. Perhaps she was jealous because she'd quite like an actor boyfriend herself. Perhaps she'd applied for a job at the theatre and been turned down.

She picked up a hairdryer. "I hope you're listening. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Have you had a bad experience with an actor?" I asked, catching my own puzzled expression in the mirror.

"No! Wouldn't touch one with a barge pole. I just know what they're like. I've heard numerous stories over the years from ladies. They'll love you and leave you!"

_Yeah, right!_ I thought. _Sad, jealous bitch!_

She dried my hair and flashed a mirror around my head. My new hairdo looked great. I was ready to wow all those young actors!

After paying her the straight fee, without a tip, I continued through the shopping centre to have a look at some clothes. Mum had given me some money to treat myself to a smart outfit for my new job.

I swished into a clothes shop floating on air, imagining that hairdresser seething with bitterness as she spotted my wedding photo on the cover of OK Magazine. I had to stop myself from laughing out loud as I imagined her face twisting as she wished she'd messed up my hair so my sexy new famous husband would never have given me a second glance.

I picked out a stunning red mini suit and a baby blue jumper with black jeans and made my way to the unattended changing room, where I strolled into a cubicle and swished the curtain shut. I tried on the red suit, it fit perfectly. I didn't even try the other outfit on. I wrestled my way back into my clothes, draped the beautiful suit in my arms and headed toward the cash tills where I was greeted by a young girl with skunk striped hair and a big cheesy grin.

"Thank you for waiting!" she said.

I looked around in puzzlement. "I didn't wait. There's no queue – I walked straight up to you."

"I'm being polite," she said. "We were shown a video last week called _Ninety-nine Ways to say Thank You for Waiting_. It was really interesting."

I stared at her in disbelief. Had the company removed her brain, placed electrodes on her head and drummed silly phrases into the empty place between her ears? I suddenly decided I didn't want to give them the trade. I looked down at the suit in my arms. It was gorgeous, but I'd save my mum some money by not taking it. She'd only just got her first pay packet and couldn't really afford it anyway. I'd rather forget the suit than be practically starving for a fortnight.

I couldn't control myself. I didn't want to shout, but I felt like my blood was boiling and I couldn't help it. "Keep the suit, bimbo!" I screamed, before storming out of the shop in front of a dozen open-mouthed staff and customers.

As I stomped away, I wondered how many ways of saying thank you for waiting there could possibly be. Thank you for waiting in sign language? Thank you for waiting in a mock Jamaican accent? Perhaps there was even a thank you for waiting rap using the arm movements and everything. I didn't really want to know.

I went to bed early that night, excited about what the next day had to bring when I started my new job.

Chapter Two

At seven o'clock the next morning, I was rudely awakened by the sound of some old punk band blasting out of my alarm clock radio at full volume. I almost had a heart attack.

I sat there recovering for a good minute before I remembered this was the day I was starting my new job. I tumbled out of bed, brushed my teeth, and drifted to the kitchen, feeling like a shaken zombie.

Mum was in there bopping about to a reggae tune as she prepared our packed lunches. As soon as she caught sight of me, she jumped.

"Yazmin!" she said, placing her hand across her heaving chest. "You startled me!"

I guess I must have looked like a zombie as well as feeling like one.

Mum merrily made us a strong black coffee each as she hummed, out of tune, to the music.

I poured myself a small bowl of cereal with soya milk and sat down at the kitchen bar.

"You must be excited!" Mum said, joining me.

"I will be when I've woken up properly," I replied, splashing enough soya milk into my coffee to cool it to a drinkable temperature before guzzling it down.

"Hope the job goes well for you," Mum said sweetly. "Keep an eye out for me. I've only worked in that café for a few weeks and I'm sick of the customers' faces already. The theatre would be much more fun."

"OK Mum," I answered lazily, shoving a big spoon of cereal into my face.

"Thanks sweetie!" she said, jumping off the barstool and heading to the bathroom to take a shower.

I finished my cereal, inserted my earbuds, and blasted my lugholes with rap music. Within ten minutes, the caffeine had kicked in, the rap had got my adrenaline going, and I was ready for the day!

I took a quick shower, put on my prettiest make-up and dressed myself in the lucky brown suit I'd worn at my interview.

Mum drove me to the theatre and wished me good luck as she dropped me off.

I took a deep breath as I stepped through the gleaming glass doors into the brightly-lit foyer. Then I made my way to the metal fronted box office. Sat there staring at me through the bars of the serving window was a slim, pink-faced, middle-aged lady with short grey hair and glasses.

"Hi," I said nervously. "I'm Yazmin Jones. I'm starting my new job here today."

"Hello Yazmin," the lady said kindly. "Just a sec." She jumped off her chair and let me into the small cream-walled office through an internal door.

A Japanese girl, about my age, with long, fringed glossy hair smiled at me. "Hiya!" she said keenly.

"Hi," I replied, hoping I'd made my first friend in town. She looked really sweet.

The grey-haired lady led me to the back of the office where a tall, slim black woman with an afro was waiting to meet me.

"Hi Yazmin!" she said, gripping my hand tightly as she shook it. "I'm Kalisha – the box office manager. Sorry I didn't meet you at your interview – my mum had a health scare that day."

"Sorry to hear that," I replied. "Hope she's OK."

"She's fine, thank you," Kalisha said, rolling her eyes suggesting her mum was a bit of an attention seeker. "Eighty-three and still going strong!"

Then Kalisha introduced me to my new colleagues. "This is Rose," she said, as the middle-aged woman who'd let me in shook my hand sloppily. "And this is Suki," she said, gesturing towards the young Japanese girl. The girl smiled brightly and nodded.

Kalisha took my coat and hung it on a peg. "Right. I always like to begin by giving my new staff a tour of the theatre – it's nice to get a feel for the place before you start work."

First, she took me down an office corridor and introduced me to staff from various departments. They all seemed very nice. Then she showed me the dressing rooms, the greenroom, and the costume wardrobe. We even went and stood on the stage! Kalisha brought a seating plan of the auditorium with her and we sat in about fifteen different seats to give me an idea of what I'd be selling. The whole place felt very magical and exciting. I felt privileged to have been chosen for the job and was sure I was going to love it. At the end of the tour, she showed me the telephone room upstairs, where I'd be working when I wasn't in the downstairs box office. It was large and cheery with creamy yellow walls, and windows which looked out onto the main street. Around the edges of the room, facing the walls, were eight computers.

I spent the rest of the morning with Kalisha, listening to her answering phone calls and watching her operate the computer as she answered queries, booked tickets, and dealt with a ridiculous complaint from a lying bastard who falsely claimed the seat he'd sat in for a recent show was located behind a pillar. What a twat! Kalisha pointed out he'd had one of the best seats in the house and refused to give him compensation. Good for her!

At twelve o'clock, I took a thirty-minute break, sitting at the side of the office with my packed lunch. I then took a quick stroll out of the building around the theatre gardens to stretch my legs before returning to the box office and sitting with Kalisha again.

"Your turn to answer a few calls now," she said, opening a box which contained a brand-new headset with mic attached. "This is your own headset – keep it in this." She produced a grey drawstring bag and scrawled my name on it.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to speak to people yet," I said, feeling a bit sick.

"Don't worry, Yazmin – you'll be fine! I'm here to guide you."

I put on the headset, adjusted the mic, and answered my first call. Some stuck up bitch with a plummy accent wanted to know what was on next Christmas – more than a year away. When I explained we weren't booking that far ahead and that we had no idea what plays would be on yet, she didn't believe me and acted really spoiled. Not a good start! She didn't believe Kalisha either and we ended up having to put her through to the theatre manager, who no doubt told her the same thing.

The next few calls weren't too bad. I booked tickets for a couple of performances of _Peter_ _Pan_ and told at least five people the Saturday evening performance of _Othello_ was sold out. I also answered a call from some dirty old woman who asked if she'd be able to touch the actors from the stage side seats. The answer was no, thank goodness.

Then Kalisha went into a meeting, so I sat between Suki and Rose to learn from them. They were sat at the box office window, serving customers as well as answering phones.

Suki turned to me, beaming. "I haven't seen you around town before."

"I've only lived here a few weeks," I replied.

"Cool!" she said. "I moved here quite recently too. We must go for a drink."

"That would be great!" I said, pleased this potential friendship was looking promising.

Rose looked at me sadly and asked, "How old are you?"

"I've just turned eighteen," I replied.

"I'll be eighteen next-month!" Suki said.

"You two were born just a few weeks apart then," said Rose, frowning. "It doesn't seem five minutes since I was eighteen. I'm sixty-three now. I keep forgetting I'm not still a young girl. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder who the old bag staring back at me is. I really do get a shock."

Suki laughed, "Sixty-three isn't old."

"I know," Rose agreed. "But eighteen doesn't feel five minutes ago. In reality, it was forty-odd years ago. When that time goes around again, I'll be dead."

Suki and I looked at each other, not knowing what to say.

The awkward silence was broken when a handsome young red-haired man appeared at Suki's window. I was pretty sure he was an actor from his show biz demeanour and loud, showy voice.

"Hi!" he said brightly. "Do you still have tickets for Thursday matinee? My parents have decided to come up at short notice, I'm afraid." He tutted and rolled his eyes.

He looked at me and caught my eye. He was gorgeous. My heart began thumping wildly.

Unlike me, Suki didn't seem to be at all nervous with men. "We've got two nice tickets sixth row centre circle," she said confidently, batting her eyelids.

"That's not bad," he said. "Yes please. Any chance of freebies?"

Suki studied her computer screen. "Doesn't look like it's going to sell out, so yeah – we can give you free tickets on this occasion."

"That'd be great. Thanks!" As the tickets printed, he kept looking at me and smiling. I felt quite faint. "Are you alright?" he asked, his forehead crinkled in concern.

I couldn't speak.

"It's Yazmin's first day," said Suki. "There's a lot to learn. She's a bit overwhelmed, I think."

"Well, Yazmin," said the actor, picking up his tickets and pushing them into his inside jacket pocket. "Good luck with the job. I'm sure you'll love it!"

I just about managed to smile and nod in his direction.

The actor turned and walked away, smiling sympathetically. He'd only walked a few paces when Rose burst out laughing. "You fancy him!" she boomed.

I winced. He was bound to have heard.

"He's gorgeous," Suki said. "Who wouldn't fancy him?"

"I don't think I'd want to marry an actor," Rose said. "It can't be a great life with your husband spending most of his time out of work, then living miles away when he does finally land a role. I can't imagine they stay faithful."

"It would be glamorous though," Suki sighed dreamily.

"Anything but glamorous," Rose insisted. "All the drugs and the sleeping around and stuff... An actor's wife has a miserable life."

_How narrow minded and prejudiced to put a group of people all in the same bracket!_ I thought, blinking in disbelief.

"Bit over the top," said Suki, echoing my thoughts.

Rose shook her head. "Well, I wouldn't want to become the victim of an actor."

"Victim of an actor!" laughed Suki. "Actors don't leave victims unless they're playing serial killers or something. You're funny!"

"You're only young," said Rose, still shaking her head. "You have a lot to learn, my gal."

_Yet another green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head_ , I thought. She was probably jealous and couldn't bear the thought of seeing either of us hot chicks ending up with an actor husband. She obviously hated the thought of either of us being rich and glamorous, posing on red carpets in front of a sea of flashing cameras, and being snapped by the paparazzi wherever we went.

I really enjoyed the rest of the afternoon. My first day in the box office had been great. The only thing I was dreading about my new job was sitting on the serving window in case more gorgeous actors and handsome young male customers appeared, making me tremble and shake, and forget how to speak. I had to get over this somehow.

Chapter Three

The next morning, I arrived up in the telephone room just before nine o'clock, ready for my second day of work.

There were eight staff up there, including Suki and Rose. Suki had saved me a seat as she'd been instructed to work with me all morning to continue my training. It was pretty busy, but we still managed to have little chats here and there.

An autographed photo of a hunky black actor was pinned up on the wall between us. I smiled at the photo and found myself turning to Suki and asking if she had a boyfriend.

Suki's face fell and she looked at the floor. "Don't ask," she said. "He went away to uni and met someone else. I don't really want to talk about it."

"That's horrid. Perhaps we should have a competition to see which one of us can find an actor boyfriend first."

"Oh wow!" she exclaimed, her face lighting up again. "I could do with a challenge like that. Life hasn't been too much fun lately. I'm up for it!"

"I was kind of joking," I said, immediately regretting my words.

"Are you single too?" Suki asked.

"Well, yes..."

"You only live once. Let's go for it!"

"But I haven't got your confidence with men. You'd be bound to win."

"I may have confidence, but I don't have much luck with them," Suki said sadly.

The idea did feel tempting. Like Suki, my life hadn't been too bright recently, perhaps this challenge was just the fun we both needed.

"Well?" Suki said, looking at me with big puppy eyes.

I sighed. "OK, why not?"

"Yay!" Suki cheered, clapping her hands and grinning brightly. "Let's shake on it!"

We shook hands excitedly, then Suki got up from her seat and called out, "Who wants a drink?"

Everyone put their hand up. She led me over to the coffee corner, filled the kettle, and told me what each staff member liked to drink.

"This company leave next week and the next lot arrive in about three weeks," she informed me. "The new company list must be here by now. If I can get a copy, can you come to my house on Sunday? We can check out all the actors on the internet and see who looks likely!"

This actor boyfriend challenge thing was beginning to sound like real fun. But would I stand a chance against such a bubbly girl?

"We mustn't tell anyone," Suki said, spooning coffee into mugs. "If we do, they'll most likely laugh at us."

"Yeah," I agreed. "And if the actors find out they'll laugh too, and some might take advantage."

"Exactly!"

The kettle boiled and Suki made the drinks. Then I stood in the corner watching her confidently smile and crack jokes with our colleagues as she handed out the mugs. She looked so cool and pretty. I wondered if I'd made a mistake entering this challenge with her. Still, it was only a bit of fun. It wasn't as though anything awful was going to happen if I didn't win, and there's never a guarantee any relationship will last anyway, so I decided to stop being a wimp and enter the thing with confidence. After all, we'd shook on it now.

She returned to the corner and put some more water in the kettle to make our drinks – two black coffees. Then we sat back down together and I began work again. It all went smoothly, until I answered a call from an irate woman who complained she'd been waiting to get through for five minutes.

"I'll deal with that one!" Suki said. She looked angry as I gave her my headset. "Hello," Suki said. "What's the problem?" She listened as the angry woman repeated her complaint. "I see. Well, as you must be aware, the Two Masks Theatre is world famous. People are phoning us from all over the globe, so you were actually very lucky to get through in five minutes." Then she rolled her eyes and banged her fist on the desk. "Stupid bitch hung up on me. Her loss - slapper! People just have no idea how busy we can be. They reckon we sit there filing our nails and chatting while the phones are ringing. They ought to try working here – then they'd understand. Idiots!"

The rest of the morning was pretty busy. It was hard work, but I really enjoyed myself. Suki checked the rota, noticing we were both down for one o'clock lunch break.

"That's good," Suki whispered. "If the theatre manager isn't in his office, we can sneak in and steal the list which gives the names of all the actors in the new company."

My stomach lurched. "Sounds a bit risky," I said. "Can't we just ask for one?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Suki said. She gave me a cheeky grin. "He has one pinned to his noticeboard. I saw it when I delivered tickets to him a couple of days ago. Then, when you come to mine on Sunday, we can find out who's hot and who's not!"

"Sounds like fun!" I said, welling up with excitement. I finally felt like I was entering a bright patch in my life again. It was like warm sunshine emerging from behind a gloomy grey cloud.

At one o'clock, we bounced out of our chairs, grabbed our bags, and headed straight for the theatre manager's office. Suki led the way down the dark, narrow corridor and glanced into the office as we passed.

"Damn!" she whispered.

I took a look. Sat at the desk was an elegant looking sixty-something gentleman holding a phone to his ear.

"Hi Larry, darling!" he said in a loud, musical voice. "So, so sorry about the delay. Meet me at the restaurant in five? Super – see you there!"

Suki and I rushed through a door at the far end of the corridor and listened as his shiny shoes clip clopped away. But, as we crept towards the office, he suddenly appeared again and noticed us.

"Ooo! Forgot my purse!" he said, smiling broadly and running a hand vainly through his hair as he tottered back into the office. We smiled back, then pretended to admire an old theatrical poster as he rushed away again.

"Wait by the door and keep an eye out," Suki said. "If anyone appears, just ask me how my gran is – that's the code to tell me things aren't safe. Then scarper!"

"OK," I answered, my eyes darting around nervously.

Suki snuck into the office and unpinned a sheet of paper from the noticeboard next to the manager's desk and anxiously dashed back out in a panic when she saw someone glance in as they passed the window. We rushed back upstairs to the phone room to eat our packed lunches.

"Let's see the list then," I said, opening a bag of black grapes.

"No!" Suki replied. "It's something to look forward to on Sunday, and we don't want anyone to see us looking at it – Peter might find out!"

"Peter?"

"The theatre manager."

"Oh, of course. Fair enough," I answered, pulling a grape off its stalk.

Suki grabbed a brown envelope, sealed the list safely inside it, shoved it into her handbag and then asked, "Are you going to the fair tomorrow?"

"I didn't know there was one."

"Yup – in the town centre. It's there for two days starting tomorrow."

"I'm not sure. I don't really like fair rides."

"Neither do I. We could go for a stroll around just to take in the atmosphere, then have a coffee somewhere. We both finish here at six - so we can go then."

"OK. Sweet!"

The next day at work was OK until an actress with the stupidly false name of Felicity Foxtrot appeared. Her name wasn't the only fake thing about her. She had peroxide blonde hair, a tan that looked like it had been squeezed from an orange, an over the top actressy voice and a ridiculous trout pout. She even had glassy turquoise eyes with weird sparkly bits in them – no one has sparkly turquoise eyes unless they've come from another sodding planet – it was obviously lenses.

Anyway, the bitch marched aggressively to Suki's window and said, "I want three tickets for Saturday night - near the front."

Suki checked the availability and frowned. "Sorry – the performance is sold out."

"But I only want three, for heaven's sake!" Felicity snapped.

"I know," said Suki. "But there aren't any. We can put you on the returns list, but there'll be quite a few names in front of you."

"Returns list? How _dare_ you talk about returns lists to me. I'm an actress and you're just a little box office clerk!"

I gritted my teeth and growled, narrowing my eyes at the rude bitch.

Kalisha rushed over like a hurricane. "Don't you talk to Suki like that! We're not wizards, you know. We can't just conjure tickets out of thin air. That performance has been sold out for months!"

Felicity let out a scream of frustration and stormed off, her red high heels banging against the floor as she stomped away in a tantrum.

About half an hour later, Peter – the theatre manager – came into the office to speak to Kalisha. "I've had a complaint," he said. "One of the actresses has said your staff refused to sell her tickets and that you all hurled expletives at her."

Suki and I let out loud squeaks of disbelief. What a nerve - false hair, false tan, false eyes and now false accusations!

"The cheek of the woman!" screamed Kalisha. "I did no such thing. If you're talking about that monster with the orange face, Suki politely told her the performance was sold out, and the vicious woman was extremely rude. Suki will tell you!"

Peter turned to Suki.

"She said she was an actress and I was just a little box office clerk!" Suki said furiously.

"I'm not surprised," said Peter softly. "She's a horrid woman. And I'd hardly call her an actress – her so called acting is terrible. It's a good job she's leaving next week. Good riddance to her!"

"Hear, hear," Kalisha agreed.

"Well, thanks girls," Peter said. "I just had to get your side of the story. It's a shame the company employed her when there are thousands of perfectly good actresses out there looking for a job. I think I can imagine how people like her land jobs!" Then he slapped himself on the hand. "Oops! Very naughty of me – better watch my tongue or I'll be getting myself into a spot of trouble. You didn't hear me say that girls, did you?"

"Didn't hear you say what?" Kalisha laughed.

Peter giggled. "Anyway, beauties, don't you worry. I'll be having words with Miss. Foxtrot and a few others, believe me." He grinned brightly at us all before leaving the office.

After work, Suki and I glammed ourselves up with a bit extra make-up and headed uptown to the fair. My heart leapt in excitement as I saw the bright lights and spinning machines up ahead. It was a real novelty to see bumper cars and waltzers in the street – in my old town, the fair was on grass in the local park for a few days every summer. We pushed our way through crowds, watching the rides but not going on them. Then, Suki pointed at a small red tent on the corner of a street, next to a big candy stall.

"A fortune teller!" she said.

"Cool!" I said. "Perhaps she'll give us some idea about who'll win our boyfriend challenge!"

Suki's eyes widened in horror and she shook her head so vigorously I was worried she might give herself a brain haemorrhage. "I'm not going in there," she said. "She might tell us we're going to die or something."

"Nah – she wouldn't be that mean. Let's do it!"

"You go and see her," Suki said. She pointed at a nearby café. "I'll go in there and meet you when you're finished."

"OK," I replied. "See you in a bit."

"Are you sure you want to have your fortune told?"

"Yeah – I'm really excited!"

"OK," Suki said, her eyes full of apprehension.

I smiled as I read the A board outside the tent - JILLIANA – FORTUNE TELLER EXTRAORDINARE. READINGS £20. I strode towards it. An elderly woman stood at the entrance wearing full gypsy fortune teller gear – headscarf, big hoop earrings, beautiful dress – the lot.

"Hello my dear," she said. "I sense you could do with my help, sweetheart. Oh yes – you could definitely do with a reading. Please step inside."

Her pushiness put me off a bit, but I didn't like to turn away, so I entered the tent and sat down opposite her. Then I began to feel rather frightened and wished I was sat in the café with Suki sipping a nice black coffee and enjoying a snack. I opened my purse and handed her twenty pounds, thinking it was a good job I'd be receiving my first pay packet soon.

"Place your hands around the crystal my darling," she instructed.

I placed my shaking hands around the crystal ball.

"Nothing to fear, my dear," she said, her scary dark eyes staring into mine. "You're quite a sensitive soul – fond of animals and you'd do anything to help anyone. I see you've recently moved to a bigger home."

"You're right about the move," I said. "But the home is a bit smaller than my last. It's in a big block of flats though."

"That's what I'm seeing then. I see you're looking for a job."

"I was until last week – I've just started a new one."

"Ah, yes. I was looking just a little into the past – it sometimes happens, you know. You'll be very happy in that job. Is it in an office?"

"That's right."

Then my shoulders stiffened when I heard a tapping sound which appeared to be coming from the crystal ball!

"It's those naughty little child spirits again," Jilliana laughed. "At least that's proof of spirit for you!"

Now I was feeling even more scared. I swallowed hard, my throat had gone all dry. Again, I wished I was sitting in that café with Suki.

Jilliana's dark eyes began to sparkle. "I see a rich man!" she said.

Now she was talking! My heart began beating wildly, and I could hear myself breathing loudly, which was a bit embarrassing.

"This man's in spirit – I feel you knew him when he was alive."

My heart sank. She must have seen my face fall. I cleared my throat. "I'm not sure who he is," I said in a small voice.

"His name was Lawrence and he says he's very proud of you."

"I don't remember him."

"Never mind – he could have been your uncle three lifetimes ago or something."

"Oh," I said, thinking that statement sounded like a bit of a copout.

"I see a new man coming into your life within the year. I feel he's connected to your work." My adrenaline started pumping again – this sounded promising! "I see numbers around him – perhaps he works with figures – accounts?"

"Maybe," I said. I felt a little disappointed, but then I consoled myself by thinking perhaps the number were showing because he was going to be rich and successful – maybe it was a vast fortune she was seeing.

"I see your Mum washing up. She's looking at her wedding ring and crying. Why?"

"My parents recently split up. They weren't married though."

"Ah, yes," replied Jilliana. "The ring is symbolic of the relationship then. Your father isn't dead, is he?"

My heart skipped a beat. "No," I gasped. "Not unless there's some bad news waiting for me at home."

"There's a man here in spirit. Don't worry dear – he's actually a grandfather figure. His name begins with A. Albert?"

"My great grandad was Albert."

"That's him. He says look after your mother. Oh, and he says you'll live in Scotland at some stage."

"Really?" I said thinking how far away and cold Scotland was. I couldn't imagine ever moving there.

"I see you at some function where you will be in the public eye – I see many cameras on you. I see a male spirit who visits you at night – he was your husband in another life and he used to play snooker – he still loves you. You will have a son who will cause you a bit of trouble when he's older. Not too much to worry about though. I see you going to the theatre a lot."

"I work at the theatre."

"Lucky girl! Must be a great place to work." Jilliana looked up from the ball and smiled. "That's about all I can see for now, my dear. I do feel life is brightening for you. Such a sweet, gentle soul. Oh – and look out for the name Carl – you'll meet him soon."

The reading didn't seem that long for twenty quid, but it wasn't bad. I thanked her and made my way to the coffee shop. Suki had got us the prime table in the window. She sat there sipping a large cup of coffee, looking anxious. I waved, and she almost spilled it on her knee.

There was no queue, so I bought myself a coffee and a sandwich and swiftly joined Suki in the window seat.

"Well?" she said, leaning towards me, her dark eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Did she say anything exciting?"

"Yup!" I answered, all smiles. "She said I'm going to meet a boyfriend connected to my place of work and she mentioned accounts – I believe he's going to be rich!"

"Oh," Suki said, trying to hide what looked like a flush of jealousy.

"She saw me in the public eye and flashing cameras and stuff. My great grandad Albert was there telling me to look after Mum and she knew I'd recently moved and been looking for a job and stuff."

"Do you really believe in psychics?" Suki asked, obviously hoping it wasn't true, because it sounded as though I was going to win the challenge she'd been so looking forward to.

"Well, I think so," I said. "She did seem quite amazing and she did mention the theatre."

"What else did she say?"

"I can't remember at the mo – but it was all amazeballs! Sure you don't want to go and see her yourself?"

Suki looked frightened. "I don't think so – I'm worried about what she might say."

"Fair enough," I answered. I sipped my coffee and tucked into my sandwich. "Oh, and she told me I was going to meet a Carl soon!"

Suki was obviously very disappointed with my good news and we said no more to each other until we left the café and stepped out into the cool, crisp evening air about fifteen minutes later.

"Where do you live?" she asked.

"Alpine Court on the Nestlington Road," I replied.

"That's on the way to mine!" Suki said, her face finally brightening a little. "We can walk."

"OK," I agreed.

We took a short detour to avoid a drunken fight as a police car arrived at the scene.

"There were spirit children tapping on the crystal ball!" I told her, as we walked briskly to keep warm. "You might change your mind and see her tomorrow!"

"Er... I don't think so," Suki said firmly. "Especially now you've told me that!"

"That's OK," I replied. "Just thought it might be fun."

When we reached the flats, I invited her in to meet Mum.

We climbed three flights of stairs and let ourselves in.

Mum was sat laughing wildly at some mad comedy show on TV. As soon as she saw us, she rose to her feet, beaming.

"This is Suki from work," I said.

"Hiya!" Mum said. "How are you?"

"I'm great thanks!" replied Suki confidently. "Yourself?"

"Oh, I'm OK. Bit bored of my job. Anything going at the theatre?"

I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know – you'll have to look on the website," said Suki.

"I looked earlier," Mum sighed. "There were no jobs on there. I hate working in the café. I can't stand the moaning customers everyday asking for their coffee extra hot and stuff. What kind of weirdo wants extra hot coffee? The damned stuff burns your mouth as it is. Masochistic bunch of bastards!"

"That job's really getting you down Mum, isn't it," I said sadly.

"You can say that again!"

"Keep checking the paper and stuff. There must be plenty of jobs going."

"I want one at the theatre."

"I know."

"Anyway," Mum said. "Talking of bloody cafés, would either of you like a coffee?"

"We've just had one thanks," Suki politely replied.

"I was wondering if we could walk Suki home," I said.

"Where do you live?" Mum asked.

"Azalea Road," said Suki. "It's about a ten-minute walk."

"It's pretty cold," Mum said. "I'll get the car."

I gave Suki a lightning tour of the flat while Mum slipped on her shoes and jacket, then we made our way back downstairs and strolled out into the carpark. It only took a couple of minutes to drive to Suki's house – a nice little semi-detached with a small front garden. We dropped her off and waited until she was safely in the house before zooming home.

I kept dwelling on what Jilliana had said about the spirit who visited me at night. A husband in another life? Perhaps that's why I was so nervous with men then. Perhaps this man didn't want me to have anyone else, and was there to sabotage any chance I had of ever finding anyone by sending terrible feelings to me when possible future husbands were around. I wondered if I might need to call an exorcist in order to banish this bloke and become confident enough with men to find myself a boyfriend. I went to bed and lay there, believing this husband ghost was in the room grinning at me. I switched the light on and lay back down again, feeling terrified.

Chapter Four

Next day Mum and I both had the day off. We took a quick trip to the supermarket then bought a bag of chips on the way home.

As we sat stuffing our faces, I asked her, "Have you ever been to a fortune teller?"

"No," Mum replied. "But a friend of mine used to own a pack of tarot cards which kept us entertained for hours."

"Really? Did they predict loads of stuff which came true?"

"Little things here and there, but we asked them so many questions that they were bound to appear to get something right."

When Sunday finally arrived, I woke up at ten o'clock feeling bright and cheerful, looking forward to my trip to Suki's house to Google all the actors in the new company. I brewed myself a strong cup of black coffee and enjoyed peanut butter on toast. Mum was still in bed. Saturdays were particularly busy in the café, so she always had to lie in until Sunday lunchtime to recover.

After a light lunch, I took a brisk walk to Suki's through drizzling rain. Suki greeted me with a bright smile and led me into the lounge, where a middle-aged Japanese lady sat watching the news. She turned to me. She had the same bright smile as Suki.

"Hiya!" she said, rising to her feet. "I'm Suki's mum. You're Yazmin."

"Yes," I said, shaking her hand.

She sat down again and continued watching the news. Unlike her daughter, she seemed a little shy.

We went through to the kitchen. "My dad's at the pub celebrating his mates' fiftieth birthday," Suki said pouring us a small glass of blackcurrant juice each. Then we creaked up the stairs to her room.

The room was quite small and decorated in pink. There was a map of Japan on one wall. She pointed at Kyoto, which was somewhere towards the middle of the country.

"That's where my family come from," she said.

"Cool!" I answered. "Were you born in Japan?"

"No, but I went there once when I was a kid. We went to Kyoto in Autumn – it was really pretty."

We sat down on the bed, then Suki opened the drawer of her bedside cabinet and brought out the envelope, which contained the list of actors, together with a white iPad. We both grinned in excitement as she ripped open the envelope and pulled out the list.

Remembering my clairvoyant reading, I was very keen to see if there was a Carl on the list. There was! Unfortunately, his surname was Zimmerman, so he was right at the end.

"Can we start with Z and work backwards?" I asked hopefully.

"Bit confusing!" Suki replied. "Why would you want to do that?"

"There's a Carl at the end – the fortune teller mentioned a Carl."

"Oh yes. Might be fun to leave him till the end then – the thrill of suspense and all that!"

"Meanie! Oh well, at least we're only looking at the men on the list – so it shouldn't take too long."

"Women too," Suki answered.

"Oh," I replied. "Are you bisexual?"

"No – I want to look at the opposition, and see if we recognise any faces."

My heart sank a little - I was dying to see Carl's face. But then I realised she was right. The first name on the list was Ali Albright. Suki grinned in excitement as she tapped in each letter. Ali turned out to be a crabby old woman.

"Cool!" Suki said with a grin. "No sexy young actor would choose her over us."

"I hope not," I laughed.

After spending an entertaining hour or so tapping in names and having a good giggle, Suki narrowed her list down to seven men, but I only fancied one young man – his name was Tyrone Small and he was on Suki's list too. He looked so cool with his cropped blonde hair, dazzling blue eyes and mean expression. I knew I'd seen him on TV before too.

Then we came to Carl Zimmerman. My heart thundered away as Suki punched in his name. Then my heart stopped. Carl looked about eighty years old. He had white hair and a big bushy beard.

"Santa Claus!" Suki exclaimed. Then she laughed so hard it obviously hurt and she lay there clutching her stomach as she rolled around. Served her right.

It was true though – Carl did look like blooming Father Christmas, but with dark, evil eyes. He actually gave me the creeps.

"I think you might win the challenge – he's probably desperate," Suki managed to say, before continuing her painful giggling fit.

"Desperate?" I screeched, whacking her with a cushion. "Thanks a lot!"

"Let's find out more about our chosen men then," Suki said, when her giggling finally subsided.

As we both liked the look of Tyrone, we looked him up first. It turned out he'd had a minor part in a recent TV production of _Robin Hood_ , which is where I must have seen him. There wasn't a lot of information about him, he obviously hadn't worked much – he'd most likely only left drama school in the last couple of years. He did have a Twitter account, but it was pretty boring – mostly pictures of food he'd cooked. Perhaps he should have been a chef.

Most of Suki's other choices were nothing special – not in my eyes, anyway. As we looked them up, we found out one was famously gay, although we'd never even heard of him; and another had a two-month old baby after a very brief fling with a model, but didn't want to know the kid. Suki crossed them both off her list. There was very little information to be found about her other choices, apart from one – a pop star turned actor called Dudley Mountain. She liked him because her mum had been a big fan in her youth.

"Eeew!" I said, pulling a face. "He's too old for you."

Suki disagreed. "He's only fifty-seven."

" _Only_ fifty-seven? That's disgusting, Suki. He's old enough to be your grandad. I couldn't wake up next to that old fart every morning – he'd put me off my breakfast."

He wasn't exactly attractive, with his messy black mop of hair, big bulbous red nose and bloodshot eyes. I certainly didn't fancy him, in fact his face made me feel sick.

Suki got really excited when she found numerous articles about his recent divorce.

"Looks like he's available!" she said. "Imagine me bringing Mum's favourite popstar home to meet her. She'd be over the moon."

"Until she found out you were sleeping with him – then she'd be disgusted."

"We'll see," Suki said smugly. "His ex-wife was Japanese too – he obviously likes Asian beauties."

"It says he repeatedly cheated on her with a string of women," I pointed out. "What sort of a bimbo would want that aging body?"

"Me!" exclaimed Suki, stroking his photo.

"Eeew! And you had the cheek to laugh at Carl Zimmerman's photo. I think they're about equal and both far too old for either of us."

"Dudley has to be top of my list," Suki said. "You can have Tyrone."

"When did you last have an eye test?" I asked her. "In fact, when did you last have a sanity test? He's getting on for sixty Suki – S.I.X.T.Y."

"He's gorgeous."

"What on Earth is wrong with you? It's obviously because he's famous and probably rich, and your mum likes him."

"Not really," Suki said. "Those things help, but there's just something about him. He just has that mysterious X-Factor."

"Mysterious X-Factor?" I said, grimacing. "More like obvious Vom-Factor!"

Suki looked puzzled. It seemed she really did find the filthy old fart attractive – seriously disturbing. I hoped she might just be having me on.

Then her mum called to us from the bottom of the stairs, "Tea's ready in ten!"

"OK Mum!"

I turned to Suki and smiled. "I've _really_ enjoyed this afternoon – even if Carl Zimmerman did turn out to be Santa and you've lost your mind over a dirty old rocker. Thanks for having me round."

"My pleasure," she said. "This challenge is going to be great fun. Thanks for coming up with the idea."

I slung on my coat, stepped into my shoes and trotted home, giggling to myself about Suki liking Dudley. I got a lot of funny looks, but I didn't care. It was just great I finally had something to laugh about.

Chapter Five

Two weeks later, the old company had gone and the new lot had just arrived.

On my Monday off, I arrived at the Sesame Bap café to meet Suki in her lunch hour. The café was dark and atmospheric, with checked table cloths and wood effect walls, and was conveniently located opposite the theatre. Suki arrived ten minutes after me and sat down at our table looking totally miserable.

"Lunch is on me," I said in an attempt to cheer her up. "What do you fancy?"

"I'll just have a soya cappuccino," she said. "I'm not hungry."

"OK sweetie," I answered, rising from the table.

I made my way to the counter and ordered Suki's drink plus a black coffee and Mediterranean flatbread for myself.

"What's wrong babe?" I asked, as she blew her nose noisily.

"I met Dudley this morning."

"Eeew!" I answered in disgust.

"Eeew indeed!" Suki said. "I'd really, really built my hopes up, but he wasn't what I expected. He looked even older than his pictures, his hair was all greasy and he smelled weird – a mixture of stale cigarettes and pickled onions. He seemed sort of creepy too."

I couldn't help myself. I burst out laughing as Suki dabbed her eyes with a tissue.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Pickled onions and stale cigarettes? How vile is that? I can't understand why you could even look at the old sod in the first place. Age might be just a number, and I know fifty-seven isn't old, but it's much too old for you."

"I know. It's just I kept picturing myself bringing him home and meeting my mum and seeing her thrilled face. It's a big let-down."

"I could understand you introducing him to your mum if she was single – the stinky bastard is more her age."

Suki's face brightened a little. Then she burst out laughing, showering cappuccino all over her pale-pink t-shirt. "I knew you'd cheer me up," she said. "I guess you're right. I have been pretty stupid for the past few weeks lusting after a disgusting older man. And yeah, I can see now it was his fame and stuff. Don't tell anyone – I feel really embarrassed."

"I won't," I said. "Have some flatbread." I handed her almost half the slab. She took delicate mouthfuls between giggles. We did get some funny looks from the other diners, but we didn't give two hoots. We enjoyed banana fritters in syrup for dessert and Suki left looking a million times happier. And who should we see as we left the café and stepped out onto the street? Dirty Dudley! He was talking to two giggling sixty-something women – one blonde and one redhead.

"I'm a great fan of yours, I really loved your band," said the timid looking blonde woman who was wearing a blue anorak and big tartan skirt.

Dudley looked her up and down creepily, like he wanted her sagging body. She looked at the floor shyly, but couldn't stop smiling because her favourite star had looked at her in that way. It was totally embarrassing to watch.

Dudley's head gave a cocky wobble as he said, "Yes – we were great – truly great – the greatest band ever. No doubt about it."

The women giggled stupidly.

Then the redhead pointed at a chunky gold chain on his fat, hairy wrist and said, "That's a really lovely bracelet Dudley!"

"Yes," Dudley agreed, talking to her boobs instead of her face. "Expensive bling – cost me almost as much as my villa in France and the Ferrari combined." Then he smiled, showing his stumpy nicotine stained teeth.

My lip curled in disgust as I whispered in Suki's ear, "Filthy boasting bastard!"

Suki looked impressed. "He sounds really rich though," she said.

"Dunno," I replied. "Might be lying."

"His clothes do look rather poor," she remarked, studying the bobbly navy jumper and scruffy black jeans squeezed onto his lumpy body.

"I know," I agreed. "If he screws as many women as we read about, he probably has a thousand children to support – he might be in deep debt."

Suki laughed. "A thousand children? You're funny!"

"Might be true," I joked as my face creased with laughter.

We began to walk away, then turned and looked back at the group. The filthy swine was watching our asses as his fans delved into their handbags, presumably to find something for the past it pop star to autograph. My stomach churned and I had to spit on the pavement, much to the disgust of Dudley's boring fans.

I took an instant dislike to Dudley that day. I don't think I'd felt so disgusted by anyone in my life. I just couldn't stand the look of him – his face, his body, his manner, his voice... The newspapers reported he'd cheated on his wife multiple times. I'd always been brought up to take what you read with a pinch of salt, but the behaviour I'd just seen had made the reports look like they might well be true. This made me hate him even more, especially as I was still trying to get over the fact my vile dad cheated on my beautiful mum.

I still thoroughly enjoyed the rest of my day off, blasting out Grime music, mostly by my favourite rapper - Nutty Bonkers - as I tidied my bedroom, washed my hair, plucked my eyebrows and gave myself a homemade avocado mask beauty treatment. I was ready to wow Tyrone – or perhaps some other gorgeous young actor yet to catch my eye. This was so exciting and nerve-racking all at the same time. It was the biggest high I'd ever been on. I was buzzing!

During supper, I told Mum all about Suki and her crush on Dudley Mountain. Mum found this hilarious. Then I remembered I'd promised Suki I wouldn't tell anyone, but it was too late. Oops!

"I could never stand him – or his gravelly voice," Mum said, pulling a face. "I could never understand what all those women saw in him."

"My feelings exactly," I agreed.

About an hour into the next working morning, Dudley appeared, strolling through the foyer singing _Oh What a Beautiful Morning_. When he spotted Suki and me, he made some of his own words up to the song "Oh what beautiful girls!"

Suki and I weren't impressed. We rolled our eyes and Dudley looked at a glass door in embarrassment. I almost felt sorry for the fool.

Then the squirming bastard turned back to us, gave an awkward cough and asked, "Any spare tickets for _Mothballs_ on the second of November?"

Suki tapped the date into her computer and replied, "No, I'm sorry – sold out."

He put on a false smile in an attempt to hide his obvious embarrassment and walked away, dropping his wallet by the glass exit door. As he bent down to pick it up, the most awful sight met our eyes – Dudley's ass crack peeping over the top of his scruffy jeans. We both reeled back in horror at the sight of his flabby pink cheeks, before bursting into fits of giggles.

Our laughter was interrupted by Rose calling us from the back of the office. "Have either of you smelled lavender recently?"

"Yes!" answered Suki. "We had lavender in our garden all summer. Why?"

"I mean have you smelled lavender in this building - particularly in the circle bar and just outside the phone room."

I was pretty sure I hadn't, so I shook my head. Suki did the same.

"Kalisha and I have," said Rose, her eyes wide with fear. "We've smelled it down in this office too."

"Must be an air freshener or something," Suki said.

"It's a ghost," said Kalisha.

Suki giggled. "This is a Halloween joke, right?"

"No," answered Rose, looking deadly serious. "They say the building is haunted by the Lavender Lady. Kalisha and I have both sensed her presence and felt a breeze as she moved past us."

"Are you sure it wasn't someone's perfume?" Suki asked.

"We've thought about that," Kalisha said. "We're ninety-nine percent certain it's the ghost."

"Awesome!" exclaimed Suki.

"Yeah!" I agreed.

"Talking of spooky stuff, have you both seen the poster for the Halloween party?" Rose asked.

"No!" Suki and I chorused excitedly.

"There's a party on Halloween night in the rehearsal room. Tickets are fifteen quid each, I think. Thought you girls might like to go."

"You bet!" I said, welling up with excitement.

"Yay!" Suki cried, jiggling about on her chair.

I felt so glad I'd been given this job. This was the best time in my life since I was a kid. I felt it was the break I deserved.

Then Suki and I both gasped as a handsome young blonde man appeared. It was Tyrone Small. This was the first time either of us had seen him in real life. He came to the window – _my window_. I breathed in sharply, then forgot to breathe out again. Suki saw me freeze and took the opportunity to chat to him.

"Hiya!" she said, smiling sweetly. "Yazmin isn't feeling too well. Can I help?"

Tyrone bounced over to her window.

Grrr! I really needed to find a cure for my nerves with beautiful men. I stood no chance of winning this competition with Miss Suki Super Confidence sitting there batting her bloody eyelids. I thought at that moment about visiting my doctor to see if he could help. But he looked like an Indian god and I fancied him as well. I'd only met him once – three days after we moved into the flat, I developed a rash. I had to call my mum in from the waiting room to explain the problem, because my words came out all jumbled when I tried to tell him what was wrong, and he thought there was something wrong with my brain. Then I almost fainted when he asked me to lift my t-shirt so he could examine the rash. Anyway, the rash turned out to be something non-serious. It had a funny name and faded within the week.

I took some comfort in the fact Tyrone had come to _my window_ first – it was _me_ he wanted to speak to. Unfortunately, though, Suki and Ty seemed to get on really well.

"You were in _Robin Hood_ , weren't you?" she said. "You were really good."

"Thank you, er..."

"Suki!" she said brightly, holding out her hand. Ty shook it. The bitch actually touched Ty!

"Thank you very much, Suki," he said. "We had great fun making that series."

Ugh! I so wanted to be free of this awful grey brick and barbed wire prison of shyness. What was wrong with me? Suki didn't seem to have a problem speaking to attractive men. Why was I so different?

Suki confidently chatted to Ty as she booked tickets for his aunt and uncle before he went on his way.

At coffee time, Kalisha felt a bit peckish. I felt hungry too, so she slipped me a couple of pounds and sent me to the greenroom to buy two rounds of toast.

I approached the greenroom and saw Tyrone in the queue. Worried I might make a fool of myself, I hovered in the doorway, scared to go in. Then I got a strange rush of nervous energy and decided to go for it. I took a deep breath, steadied myself, and walked quite confidently up to the counter, telling myself that if Suki could speak to men then so could I. It surely wasn't that hard – I could do it. I just needed to keep reminding myself to take deep breaths without sounding as though I was having an asthma attack. He immediately spotted me and smiled.

"Feeling better now?" he asked.

"Er – a bit," I said, amazed my words had come out relatively normally, allowing him to actually comprehend what I'd said.

"I'll buy you a coffee if you want," he said, looking me up and down like he actually fancied me! My heart started doing hundred-mile-an-hour hurdles.

"No!" I said, my voice sounding unintentionally aggressive due to nerves. Damn! "Thanks – but I'm running an errand for Ka -Kal -Kal – my manager."

His face dropped. "Oh, maybe some other time then," he said.

I smiled at him nervously then reached into my pocket for the coins, my hand shaking. Something dropped from my pocket onto the floor and Tyrone bent down to pick it up for me. I gasped in horror – it was a tampon! He handed it to me quickly, pretending he hadn't noticed what it was. My face felt as hot as a grill pan and my palms started going all sweaty. I felt as though I was about to spontaneously combust, which might not have been a bad thing in such embarrassing circumstances.

Tyrone bought himself a coffee and sat down somewhere behind me. I waited, heart beating wildly, as the toast was made. The old lady behind the counter handed it to me on two paper plates. It took a huge effort to keep my hands steady. I managed to smile weakly at Ty, before tottering out of the greenroom and making my way back to the box office, shaking and nervously babbling random rubbish to myself, hoping no one could hear. It's a miracle the toast stayed on the plates.

I felt terrible. I'd surely blown any chance I had with him. But there was a positive side to this encounter – I'd actually managed to communicate with him a bit, smile at him a little, and not collapse. This was _real_ progress. Best of all, if I wasn't hallucinating, it appeared he actually fancied me! Was I imagining it? Was my problem with men so bad that I'd completely misread his signals?

As I finished my toast, I noticed Suki staring at me. "Are you OK?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"You were mumbling to yourself," she said.

"Oh heck!" I said nervously. "What was I mumbling?"

"I couldn't tell - your mouth was full of toast."

"I sometimes do that when I'm having toast," I lied.

Suki laughed. "You've got to be the funniest person I've ever met."

I made a big effort to act like a normal person for the rest of the day. It wasn't easy. I really had to get a grip somehow.

On the way home from work, I nipped into the chippy and bought Mum and me a portion of chips and beans each. We spent the evening watching a series of comedy shows. It should have been a nice night, but it was ruined by thoughts of my embarrassing day at work, which kept tumbling round and round in my head like big heavy towels in a washing machine.

Around midnight, I settled into bed and managed to drift off to sleep for a while, until I woke with a start. Then the atmosphere suddenly turned horribly creepy when I smelled lavender. Had the ghost of the Lavender Lady followed me to the flat? I sniffed the air, hoping I was mistaken, but unfortunately I wasn't. My mum didn't like lavender much – we'd had numerous conversations about how it reminded her of her nutty aunt, who always wore lavender perfume. It was therefore unlikely to be anything Mum was using. I felt very uneasy as the scent grew stronger.

"Lavender Lady be gone!" I whispered. It didn't work. The smell lingered, torturing my nostrils. I lay there terrified. Then I had a thought. Lavender was supposed to be calming. Perhaps the Lavender Lady had come to help calm me down and overcome my problem with men. "If you're here to help, then thank you," I whispered. "I could do with some help as you know. How do I overcome this problem?" I closed my eyes hoping to hear her whisper. Nothing happened. "Please make Tyrone appear tomorrow and help me to be calm and act like a normal person. Thanks Lavender Lady, I appreciate you taking time out from the spirit world to come and help me. You're a great ghost!"

I lay back down, feeling happier, convinced I could now rest and fall asleep, but it didn't happen. I was still awake when the first light of day came through my curtains, when it was time to get up. I wasn't looking forward to the day at work, having only slept for about an hour. I pressed the snooze button at least six times before finally crawling out of bed and drifting to the kitchen. I was grateful for the strong coffee mum had brewed. I cooled it down with tap water before glugging it down, pouring a second cup, and glugging that one even faster. I had a small bowl of cereal and a quick shower before plugging my ear buds in, blasting dubstep into my head to give me some much-needed energy, and getting ready for work.

Suki wasn't there – it was her eighteenth birthday, so she'd arranged to have the day off to celebrate it with her family. I had agreed to meet her in the evening in The Bell – a pub close to the theatre which actors frequent. I was going to have to drink bucket loads of coffee to still be awake by that time.

The day was pretty uneventful until four o'clock when Ty appeared! As soon as I saw him, my heart began galloping like a demented horse. I'd made some positive progress as far as my nerves were concerned yesterday, but now I'd been drinking coffee all day to stay awake and it had made me all edgy and jumpy, and Suki wasn't there to come to my rescue this time. How dare she take the day off to celebrate her birthday! Ty looked cautious as he walked up to my box office window. I tried to force a smile, but couldn't manage it – my face had frozen.

Chapter Six

"Hiya!" Ty said, grinning.

"Hi," I replied. I sounded weird, as my mouth wasn't moving properly.

"How are you today?" he asked.

I felt I had no option but to lie. "Not great," I answered as best I could through stiff lips. "Just come from the dentist – filling."

Rose was sat next to me and I could see her staring in disbelief.

"You're not having the best week, are you?" he said sympathetically. "Oh well – good you got the tooth sorted. Do you have any tickets for _A Christmas Carol_ on the sixteenth of November?"

I clumsily tapped away at the keyboard, getting the date wrong three times, before finally getting into the right performance. I could see Rose's shoulders jiggling up and down as she silently giggled.

"Mmmmm!" I said, nodding, my lips now feeling like they'd been super glued.

"Great!" Can you reserve me a pair please? Preferably in the stalls."

"Mmmmm!" I replied, my hands shaking over the keyboard. After pressing the wrong keys about fifteen times, I actually managed to reserve two tickets in his name.

"Thanks!" he said. "Get well soon!"

I gave him a superglue half-smile and a jerky nod. I must have looked very frightening because he practically ran like he couldn't wait to get away from me. I gulped hard. Bloody, bloody, _bloody_ nerves!

Rose looked at me, her eyes twinkling cheekily beneath her silver rimmed glasses. "Dentist?" she asked, giving me a knowing look.

"Yes," I said in a small voice. "Need to go to the dentist."

"But you told him you'd just been. Strange girl!" said Rose, turning to face a middle-aged couple who'd appeared at her window.

At six o'clock, I sighed with relief as the working day ended and Suki arrived in the building to pick me up for the drink. She was dressed all in pink and black and looked absolutely stunning. I'd never seen anyone radiate such dazzling confidence. I felt small as I looked at her, realizing my chance of winning this boyfriend challenge thing was miniscule. I couldn't even look at an attractive man without turning into a quivering mass of jelly and Suki was always cool as a cucumber. So unfair!

"Happy Birthday!" I said with a smile, although the jealous part of me wanted to tell her the outfit looked garish and that she'd overdone her make-up, just so I could knock her unfair share of confidence.

"Thank you!" she said, oozing charisma.

We stepped out into the cool autumn evening air. The walk to the pub took only a couple of minutes. It was very cosy inside with its black wooden beams on the ceiling and cream walls littered with framed autographed photos of actors. A guarded fire blazed in the hearth – very welcoming. We chose a seat close to the fire and removed our coats.

"I'll get these," Suki said.

"No!" I insisted. "It's your birthday."

"I got my purse out first – you can buy the next round," Suki said. "What do you want?"

"OK. I'll have a sweet cider and a pot of fries, please."

I sank into my seat, feeling small, as I watched Suki slink off to the bar looking more stunning than ever. She smiled at the hunky ginger barman, who eyed her up as he asked for ID, which she showed him confidently, pointing out it was her birthday.

She returned with the drinks and I dashed to the loo. I'd brought my cosmetic bag, so I thought I'd touch up my make-up in an attempt to look at least half as nice as Suki did. I stood by the brightly lit mirror, re-applying everything from luminescent foundation to lashings of black mascara and pink tinted lip gloss. Pleased with the result, I smiled at my reflection and walked back into the bar area.

"You look gorgeous!" Suki said, as I sat down.

I straightened up with confidence as I replied, "Thanks – so do you!"

I sipped my cider and tucked into my food, as Suki and I reflected on the day.

"I really like Ty," Suki said.

I opened my mouth to tell her I thought he fancied me, but then I shut it again. It was her birthday. Stunning as the bitch looked, I didn't want to upset her today. Besides, knowing my luck, I may have just imagined he fancied me and had probably blown any chance I might have had anyway.

"Yeah," I said. "He's OK."

She proceeded to talk about how charming and how beautiful he was, as I sat there nodding and making occasional noises of agreement. Then I swiftly changed the subject.

"How could I forget?" I said, hoisting my bag up from the floor and pulling out a big pink envelope. "Happy Birthday!"

Suki smiled and ripped the envelope open. Inside was a birthday card and a book token.

"I'm not very good at presents," I said. "I thought a book token would be better than getting you something you didn't really need."

"Thank you!" she exclaimed, pushing the token into her handbag and standing the card on the table. "Actually, I've been thinking a lot about your visit to the fortune teller and decided I wasn't quite so afraid after all. I was thinking of buying a pack of Tarot cards. I can use the book token!"

"Great!" I said, buzzing. "We could ask the cards questions about the actors!"

"That's the main reason I'm buying them," she said, screwing up her face in excitement. "Don't we both start at twelve o'clock tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to meet at about half past ten? We can meet at Harry's Bookstore on the High Street, then have coffee."

"Sounds like a plan!"

The evening passed quickly as Suki and I giggled, chatted and drank.

"I'm going to speak to Ty if he comes in," Suki said with a grin. "I can talk about my birthday and see if he'll buy me a drink."

"I'll buy you one now, before the theatre goers flood in," I said. " _Mothballs_ will be finishing about now. I see they do garlic bread, would you like some of that?"

"No thanks," Suki replied. "I'll just have a glass of lemon and lime."

"Oh," I answered, disappointed she hadn't fallen for my plot to make her breath stink of garlic when she chatted up Ty. Damn!

A motley crew of theatre goers flooded through the doors just a few minutes later, followed by none other than Dirty Dudley Mountain. He was accompanied by a tarty fifty-something woman with shoulder length curly blonde hair and tits the size of barrage balloons, showing too much cleavage. She wore lacy gypsy style clothes and a black biker jacket which looked about two sizes too small for her.

"What a slag!" Suki said, looking her up and down.

Then Dudley noticed us both and began staring while the tarty woman battled for his attention by giggling and thrusting her tits into his face. She looked over at us and bitchily narrowed her eyes.

He made his way to the bar, still looking at us. The twat should have watched where he was going as he walked into a table, knocking his leg. The table was occupied by a group of leering women. One of them wolf whistled him and made a lewd suggestion. It was disgusting – she looked at least eighty-five. He gyrated his hips as the old biddies clapped. I looked at Suki, stuck my finger in my mouth, and mock puked. Then, for no apparent reason, Dudley swiftly grabbed his tart friend and fled the pub. Perhaps the dirty old octogenarians at the table had made him randy. I really didn't want to know.

The next twenty minutes were pretty disappointing. No interesting men turned up, so we decided it was time to leave.

"Oh well," Suki sighed. "I enjoyed the night anyway. Thanks for coming."

"It was great," I replied.

Suki picked up her phone and called her dad. We waited outside the pub, chatting and laughing, then a black Mercedes pulled up. Inside was a grinning, round-faced Japanese man in glasses.

"Here's Dad!" Suki exclaimed. We jumped in and they dropped me off at the flat on their way home.

Chapter Seven

I woke up the next morning feeling seriously exhausted. A pain seared into the back of my neck like a heated knife. I took some paracetamol and made my way to town to meet Suki, arriving at the bookshop twelve minutes late. Poor girl was stood there looking very awkward.

"Sorry!" I said. "I'm not feeling too great today."

"It's OK," Suki said, forcing a smile.

We entered the shop and climbed the stairs to the Mind, Body and Spirit section on the first floor, where Suki quickly chose The Rider Waite Tarot Deck. They cost just a little more than the book token, so she paid the surplus with cash, then we went to The Coffee House, which was just two doors down from the bookshop.

I ordered a small black coffee and a sticky bun, hoping the caffeine and sugar would make me feel better, but I felt quite sick and, despite the pills, the pain was now boring into my skull like a power drill. Suki excitedly studied her present, but I had little interest as I felt so ill.

We arrived at work just before twelve o'clock and found out we were both serving on the box office window for the first hour. I could have done without having to speak to people, but I decided to attempt to plod on, hoping the tablets would begin to work very soon. To my horror, my first customer was Dirty Dudley. He stood very close to the window, and I immediately smelled the stale cigarette/pickled onion combo Suki had told me about. I looked at his big bulbous red nose, his greasy mop of hair, his bloodshot eyes, his pudgy face, and his stumpy nicotine stained teeth. I felt severely queasy. Then it happened. I puked up part digested coffee and sticky bun all over the computer keyboard. Dirty Dudley's face was a picture as I looked up to apologise, strands of slimy sick between my lips. He screwed up his face dramatically and shielded his eyes before walking off in disgust.

Suki helped me down from my seat and led me to the ladies' loo to continue my puking. The pain in the left side of my head and all down my neck and back was so intense I felt like I was going to die. Every bit of light felt as though it were piercing my eyes like needles. I was shaking and hurling and sweating and going hot and cold. I'd never felt so ill in my life. My feet even felt swollen and painful.

"Do you have tummy pain?" Suki asked from outside the cubicle door.

"No – my head's exploding!"

Then I heard Kalisha's voice. "Oh no!" she exclaimed. "She said her head's exploding. We need to call an ambulance. We've just heard Nancy from the publicity department is in hospital with suspected meningitis. It must be going around!"

"Oh no!" Suki cried. I heard her gasp and then wash her hands for a prolonged time.

"You stay with her while I phone emergency services," Kalisha said. I could hear her high heeled shoes clip-clopping away through the ladies' room and down the corridor. Every clip and every clop hurt my head intensely, then I threw up yet again.

A few minutes later, a slender, female, dreadlocked paramedic arrived. I emerged from the toilet, wanting to die.

"You do look a mess!" she said, looking at me in pity. "Tell me about it."

"I've been very sick. Bad pain –especially in my head, neck and back," I said weakly, cupping my hand over my left eye to lessen the pain from the light just a teeny-weeny bit. "I keep going hot and cold – I'm _freezing_ now."

"I can see the light is causing pain," she said. "Can you touch your chest with your chin?"

I lowered my chin to my chest.

"Well done!" she said, smiling sympathetically. "I'm just going to take a blood sample to check your sugar levels."

She produced a little blue plastic instrument and held it to my thumb. I felt a pricking pain, but the pain was very small in comparison to all the other pain I was feeling.

"That's fine," she said. "Blood sugar's normal. We need to investigate further. I'm calling an ambulance for you."

Minutes later, two scary looking forty-something female paramedics appeared – one short and pudgy with glasses, the other a little taller and very lean with spiky blonde hair.

"We're taking you to hospital," the pudgy one said.

"Feeling a bit grotty?" the other one asked.

"A lot grotty," I answered, sticking my face down the loo for another puke.

The women waited patiently before escorting me through the foyer in front of a small audience which included Suki, a pair of middle-aged female hippy types and, much to my horror, Tyrone!

The pudgy woman helped me into the ambulance and the spiky haired one shut the doors and jumped into the drivers' seat.

The ambulance set off – thankfully travelling at normal speed. Had it been travelling fast with a blaring siren, I think I'd have died! As we travelled, the pudgy woman asked me questions about my illness and I told her the same as I'd told the paramedic. I almost felt like I was being cross questioned to see if there were any inconsistencies in my story. Was it not obvious I was ill?

We arrived at the hospital about fifteen minutes later. I was put on a static trolley and they drew the curtains around me. I lay there feeling awful. The light was too bright, and I cried as I wretched into the sick bowl.

A couple of nurses popped in and out briefly to check me. Then a doctor finally appeared – a beautiful Jamaican lady. I was pleased it hadn't been a beautiful Jamaican man – I'd have probably fallen off the trolley. Yet again, I had to go through my list of symptoms. Were these people not communicating with each other?

She went away for a while, then returned about ten minutes later to take an armful of blood – I hadn't realised such ginormous syringes existed. Then she announced, "We've got a bed for you on Sunflower Ward."

I was briskly wheeled into the dark, dismal, depressing expanse of greyness which really needed to be renamed Storm Cloud Ward. It couldn't have been more opposite of a sunflower. All the other patients looked at least ninety, I felt really sorry for them being so old and ill in such a horrid place. Then I was wheeled into a private room off the side of the ward. At least this room was a little lighter and brighter.

"You're not to come out of here," the doctor said. "We don't want you infecting the other patients." Then she decided that, as I'd lost so much fluid with nasty stuff coming out of both ends, I needed to be on a drip. So she inserted this needle into my hand with a plastic thing sticking out of it and I was wired up to a drip.

I lay there alone thinking about the Halloween party in four days' time. Was I going to miss it? Was Suki going to meet someone there and win the challenge? Would I even be alive in four days? I wondered if Suki had used the tarot cards yet. Had she predicted death for me? Or perhaps she'd predicted that I'd live, but lose the boyfriend challenge. I lay there, obsessing over it all. Thoughts tumbling around and around in my cement mixer head.

Then Mum arrived in tears, which made me cry too. "I'm so sorry baby," she said. "I knew you looked a bit pale this morning, but I had no idea it was so serious."

"I had a cider last night for Suki's birthday," I said weakly. "It might just be a hangover."

"Hangovers don't normally put you in hospital," Mum answered through sobs. "But I guess it's possible. I hope that's all it is."

Then a tall, elderly, bald doctor appeared. "We're sending you for a brain scan," he said. "The porter will come for you soon."

He'd hardly left the room when a miserable looking bent over old man appeared with a wheelchair. He helped me into the chair and shoved my medical notes into a pouch in the back of it. I was wheeled down a confusing maze of corridors, Mum hurrying along by my side. We reached the x-ray department and I was called straight into the scanning room and placed on a table, feeling like the end of the world had come. My head was inside a big doughnut shaped scanning thing for a very brief time before I was whisked back to my little room on Sunflower Ward.

Mum sat with me, holding my hand and holding back tears. Then she said she was nipping to the loo and I must have fallen asleep because next thing I knew it was night time. A dark, stocky middle-aged nurse stood by the side of my bed. She beeped a thermometer thing close to my ear and declared my temperature was normal.

"Where's Mum?" I asked.

"Visiting hours are over now," the nurse said coldly. "I'm night staff."

Next thing I remember was waking up to the sight of morning sunlight streaming in through the window. I got out of bed and walked unsteadily to the toilet –which was in my own private little bathroom - so I didn't step out and kill all the ninety-year-olds with my germs. I felt a bit floaty and giddy. I still had a headache, but it was duller now. I did feel very weak and exhausted though. I crawled back into bed and a plump, blonde male nurse appeared. "How's Yazmin today?" he asked. "Still think you're dying?"

"I'm a bit better," I said, feeling grateful to be alive and enjoying the sight of the golden sunshine, even though it hurt my eyes.

"Temperature's great!" he said. "Good sign!"

I was offered breakfast by an odd-looking woman with a big purple afro and thick black painted eyebrows. I half expected her to produce a net of juggling balls and start entertaining me. I opted for coffee and a bowl of cornflakes, which I ate cautiously, worried I may not keep any of it down.

A bit later, two bespectacled doctors, one young and one middle-aged, appeared and gave me the good news it wasn't meningitis. The blood tests and the scan were both normal.

"Can I go home today?" I asked hopefully.

"We don't see why not, if you're feeling better," the middle-aged one said. "We believe it was a bad migraine. Have you had one before?"

"No," I replied.

"We see from your notes you'd had alcohol, lack of sleep and copious amounts of coffee in the couple of days leading up to the attack."

"That's right. I don't think I'll ever drink alcohol again after this though."

"Sensible lady. Well, take it easy for a couple of days and, if these episodes become regular, see your doctor."

"Regular?" I cried. "I don't want to go through that again!"

"We hope you don't," the younger doctor said.

At two o'clock, Mum arrived to collect me. I sighed with relief as the hospital exit door slid open and I spotted our battered old green Ford in the carpark. I felt so glad to be alive as we travelled home in the afternoon sun.

"Your gran suffered from migraines – that's why she couldn't work," Mum said, as we sat down at home to enjoy a cup of tea.

"I know," I replied, worried I was going to suffer the same fate. "It's no wonder Gran couldn't work - spending half the week in agony."

"That's why we were so poor. Still, they can do a bit more for people nowadays, so don't worry too much."

"I slept really badly a couple of nights ago, so I drank loads of coffee to stay awake the next day, then I had a big glass of cider for Suki's birthday. The doctors say all those things together probably triggered the migraine."

"I'm not surprised!" Mum said. "You'll have to borrow some of my lavender mist if you have trouble sleeping again. It works wonders."

"OMG!" I exclaimed. "Did you spray some a couple of nights ago?"

"Yes – that's when I bought it, I think."

"But you don't like lavender."

"I know. But someone at work recommended it to me and I thought I'd give it a go. The smell's kind of grown on me."

"That's why I didn't sleep that night – I thought it was a ghost!"

"Ghost?"

"It was an unfortunate coincidence," I sighed. "Two or three days ago, a couple of women at work mentioned the Lavender Lady – a ghost who supposedly drifts around the theatre smelling of lavender. Then I smelled lavender in my room that night and I presumed it must be the ghost – I never dreamed the smell would be coming from your room coz I knew you hated the scent."

Mum's face twisted in guilt. "You thought the ghost had followed you home?" she said.

"Yes," I said, my face cracking as I began to see the funny side. "But then it led to all the coffee, then I had alcohol."

"Oh lord. I'm sorry baby."

"You weren't to know. Do you think I'll be well enough to go back to work the day after tomorrow? It's the Halloween Party – Suki and I have been looking forward to it."

"I don't know," replied Mum. "You've had quite an ordeal."

Chapter Eight

I felt pretty weak for a couple of days, but was determined to go to the party. I rested well and returned to work on Halloween day feeling great.

I arrived just before nine o'clock and was immediately hugged by an ecstatic Suki. "Yazmin!" she squealed. "We've all really missed you. How are you?"

"I'm fine," I replied. "It was horrid and scary though. I don't want to go through that again."

"Do you think you'll be well enough for the party?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world!"

"Yay!" exclaimed Suki, grinning broadly.

I leaned toward her and whispered, "Have you predicted anything about this party with your cards?"

Suki laughed. "They're still sealed. I wouldn't dream of opening them without you. I was saving them for next time you came to my house."

"Aww! Thank you. How about tomorrow?"

"That would be great! Three o'clock?"

"OK," I said. "What are you wearing tonight?"

"I've got myself a very cool sexy devil costume! How about you?"

My heart sank. I'd been too ill to go buying sexy Halloween costumes. Now Suki was sure to outshine me.

"Oh," I said. "I was just going to wear my little black dress."

"Sounds good!" Suki replied. "With a witch's hat?"

"I haven't got one."

"Monks department store has loads of Halloween stuff. We can take a look on the way home."

"Great plan!" I said, cheering up.

Kalisha approached, smiling sweetly. "How are you?" she asked. "You gave us all a scare!"

"I'm OK now thanks. I didn't realise migraines were quite so horrid."

"They are," Kalisha said sympathetically. "My sister suffers terribly. Hope it's a one off for you."

"Me too."

"Nancy from publicity is OK now too," Kalisha said. "She did have meningitis, but it was a less serious type - viral rather than bacterial. She's much better now."

After work, Suki and I rushed to the department store and found a cheap witch's hat.

"That should go great with my dress," I said, beaming at Suki. "I'm glad you suggested it."

I arrived home, ate a light salad, and spent the whole evening pampering myself – washing my hair, soaking in a long bubble bath and putting on my prettiest make-up. Suki arrived just after ten o'clock looking absolutely stunning in her red devil costume.

"You look wow!" she said. "The actors are all gonna be swooning over us."

"Thanks! You look great too!"

Twenty minutes later, we arrived at the party. Peter, the theatre manager, was on the door. "Hello girlies!" he said. "Tickets please!"

We handed over our black star-spangled tickets and excitedly rushed up the stairs to the rehearsal room. The large, dimly lit room looked amazing! It was full of spooky decorations – ghosts, witches, skeletons, devils, and spiders' webs. A Zombie DJ stood in the corner playing dance music as coloured lights circled the room – truly magical! I was so grateful to be feeling well again – I wouldn't have missed this for the world. We were amongst the first to arrive and we immediately headed for the buffet table, grabbing ourselves drinks and a paper plate each, which we piled up with salty snacks and crudities.

We found ourselves a small table and sat enjoying our food and sipping our drinks as more and more people began to pile in. There were some great costumes – people had made a real effort. Some of the costumes were so good that we couldn't tell who was beneath them.

As a tall blonde man entered holding hands with an elegant black model type girl, Suki said, "He was on my list. Looks like another one I can cross off. Ah well, the night's still very young!"

Then Dirty Dudley arrived, dressed as a wizard. He looked so funny that I spat out a mouthful of grape juice all over the floor. He was carrying a silver wand, which he waved at half the females in the room – some sort of sex spell, no doubt. He raised his wand to Suki and me before realising it was us and dropping it mid wave. Then he proceeded to the buffet table and greedily stuffed his horrid big face with everything going.

Soon afterwards, Tyrone appeared in a group of six, none of whom were wearing Halloween costumes. There were three males and three females. Suki and I held our breath. Were they all couples? We watched slyly whilst chatting to each other, trying to look disinterested. The group soon disbursed, making the couples thing seem less likely, but we continued to keep a sly eye on Ty.

"Let's dance!" Suki said, as some jolly bouncy song came on which she obviously liked. I'd never heard it before.

"But we'll lose our seats," I said. "Can't we wait till someone joins us so they can save our place?"

"We'll just leave our jackets on our seats," Suki replied, pulling me out of my chair.

"Oh, go on then. But if anyone sits on my jacket I'll murder them!"

"Fair enough," Suki replied, leading me by the hand to the dancefloor and dancing like a disco queen. I couldn't dance - I felt too self-conscious. Oh, what I wouldn't have given to be able to drink some wine and get a little tipsy to give me the courage to dance with confidence! How ironic it was that I'd only recently reached legal drinking age and now couldn't drink for fear of feeling so horribly ill again. The better Suki danced, the more awkward I felt, until I found myself standing in the middle of the dancefloor, still as a fecking statue, just watching her and wishing I wasn't there.

"Come on – _dance_!" Suki commanded. "Like this!" She began jumping from side to side and spinning and swishing her hair about under her sex goddess devil horns. I attempted to copy, but felt too stiff. I must have looked like a right idiot. Luckily, the next tune was _Witch_ _Babe_ by my favourite rap star Nutty Bonkers, and I started to really get into it and it felt great. I suddenly owned that dancefloor – it was my song. I was, after all, dressed as a witch myself. I was that witch babe Nutty was rapping about!

Then Suki nudged me with her elbow and pointed left. Dirty Dudley was stood there in his Merlin costume perving us. The drunken bastard was staring fixedly in our direction. Ugh! Creepy or what? I felt a bit sick, quite frankly.

"Oooh!" Suki squealed. "Do you think he fancies me, or you, or both of us?"

"Probably both of us – filthy swine!" I snapped.

"Let's find out!" Suki said, bopping about. "You dance toward the glowing skeleton decoration and I'll dance towards the pumpkin, then we'll see who he's looking at."

"OK," I answered, boogying towards the bones, laughing as I moved.

And then my heart kind of almost stopped and I felt all self-conscious again. The dirty sod wasn't looking at Suki – he was staring at me, a pervy grin plastered across his big, puffy face. Last time he'd seen me, I was projectile vomiting on the computer at work – and now he was perving me! Had my spewing actually turned him on? Was he some kind of a puke perv freak? Eeew! Skank alert! Could the man get any more disgusting? As I stopped and stared at him in disbelief, he started looking all romantic like our eyes had just met across the room for the first time. What _was_ he on? How could he mistake my look of repulsion for a look of love? I almost wished I was back in hospital having a drip needle inserted into my hand again – it was considerably less unpleasant than this!

Then I noticed Suki had disappeared and I panicked. I grabbed my handbag and rushed out of the exit. I needed the loo anyway, although I was unsure of its exact location. I fled down the winding staircase, my heart racing, worried Dudley Puke-A-Mountain was following me in his wizard get up. To my relief, I found Suki at the bottom of the staircase.

"Quick!" I said, all of a dither. "Where's the loo?"

"Back there," she replied, pointing at a big gothic door. "That's where I've just been."

I rushed through the heavy door and found the ladies loo on the right. Suki waited for me as I paid my visit.

"I think Dudley was looking at me," I whispered, as I emerged from the cubicle.

"I saw," Suki replied, looking a bit awkward, as she was the one who'd been stupid enough to have a crush on him only a week or two previously. She must have been mad! The more I looked at him, the more revolted I became. He looked truly disgusting. Why would she want to wake up next to that wobbly weirdo every morning? I worried about the girl \- I really did.

Apprehensive about Dudley, I let Suki climb the stairs ahead of me. I needn't have worried. When we entered the party again, Dirty Dudley had apparently forgotten all about me and was swaying about with his flabby arms around some fifty-year-old floozy who looked thrilled to be with the famous git. She was looking around the room as if to say, "Look at me - I'm with Dudley!" Well, she could have the dirty man. I actually felt a bit sorry for her. She looked a right prat looking lustily at an unwieldy wizard with her tongue hanging out.

Then I noticed Kalisha and Rose had arrived. They were both sitting at our table – they must have recognised our jackets. Kalisha was dressed as a witch and Rose wore a black cat costume. I dashed over, Suki in tow.

"Hiya!" I said. "You both made it then?"

They turned to us, both were horribly drunk.

"Been in the pub," Rose said, before letting out a huge, revolting burp. "Oooh! 'scuse me, LOL!"

"We're gonna grab ourselves a pair of actors," Kalisha said, her head flopping about as she tried to focus on our faces.

"You're both married!" yelled Suki. "I hope you're kidding us."

Then the two aging women got up and began dancing together, shimmying up and down, hardly managing to keep their balance. It was painful to watch. My heart skipped a beat as Rose spotted Tyrone, of all people, and made a beeline for him. OMG! Why Ty? Why not someone nearer her own age – like Dudley? Suki and I stood there, open mouthed, as she flung her arms around Ty and began dancing sexily. The whole room was in hysterics. Everyone kept pointing and laughing. Suki bravely approached them and gestured to Rose to sit down.

Rose gave Suki an exasperated look and shouted drunkenly, "Hands off, little kid. You're just jealous of my bloke. He ain't interested in you – he wants ME!"

Suki stepped away, her face flushed with embarrassment, as Rose continued to hang off Ty's neck. It was one of the most disgusting sights I'd ever seen. Ty didn't appear to want to stop her either. He looked like he was really enjoying the attention of the woman who was old enough to be his granny. I couldn't believe it. Surely he didn't actually fancy the grey haired bespectacled old bag! Then he accidentally knocked her glasses off. As he bent down to pick them up she slapped him on the bottom as the whole room roared with laughter. Then she whispered something in his ear and they headed for the exit. Were they going home together? Disgusting! Had I been drunk, I might have run after them and stopped them. But I couldn't do anything – I was sober and everyone was watching. They'd both made fools of themselves and I didn't want to be the third fool. I went back to the table and sank miserably into my chair, my witch hat falling forwards over my face. I pushed it back up onto my head and noticed Suki sitting down next to me, looking the picture of shock.

"Surely they're not..." I said. "I mean... he wouldn't..."

"Eeew! I hope not." Suki answered, looking ill. "God, please no!"

Then the Zombie DJ picked up his mic and announced, "And now for the highlight of the night! The great Dudley Mountain's got a few old mates together specially for this occasion, and they're going to perform a selection of spooky songs for you all! Please give it up for Dudley Mountain and The Matterhorns!"

A curtain by the entrance door lifted and there they were – a bunch of long haired, middle-aged has-beens. The sight of drunken Dudley in a wizard's costume clinging to his microphone stand to stay upright, singing _Devil Woman_ all slurred, out of tune, and out of time to the music should have made me laugh. But, instead, I wanted to cry. Where had Ty and Rose gone? Would he really shag a plain looking granny figure like her? I guessed that, if he would do such a thing, I was better off without him. But the party was over for me. I just wanted to go home and weep. Then Dudley announced he'd written a rap tune especially for tonight's occasion. It was absolutely dreadful – basically just a load of sex words strung together with lyrics like skeleton, spider and bat added in an attempt to make it sound like a Halloween tune.

All the drunken people in the room were practically wetting themselves in laughter as he screeched the opening lines "Yo little witch, come this way little bitch. Come hold my crystal balls and ride upon my broomstick."

I almost chucked up all over the floor. I hated the filthy one track minded bastard with a passion.

"I think we should go," Suki said, looking every bit as upset as I felt.

I agreed. I went home and cried myself to sleep, thinking about Ty and Rose. Then I had a nightmare about them in bed together in which they suddenly turned into worm infested skeletons. I woke up crying. Mum came dashing into my room and told me the nightmare must have been caused by the aftermath of the hospital migraine trauma, coupled with Halloween. She sat by my bed reassuringly, talking about happy times in my childhood, staying there until I fell asleep.

Chapter Nine

Next day was Sunday. I woke puffy eyed, telling Mum again it was the nightmare which had made me cry. It would just have been too embarrassing to admit I was deeply upset because a bloke I fancied had probably just screwed my most plain-looking colleague, who also happened to be old enough to be his granny.

At least I had Suki's tarot session to look forward to later. I couldn't wait to ask the cards questions about what Ty and Rose got up to last night, although I was horribly afraid of what they might say.

I made myself a nice strong espresso, gulping it down before making another one and enjoying it with toast and Marmite. I was just crunching on my last corner of toast when a text came through from Suki: _Hiya. Can you meet earlier for the tarot? I'm depressed._

I picked up my phone and tapped away: _So am I. Can I come to yours about two?_

_Yes please_ , came the reply.

_See you then_.

It was already quarter to one, I sat down for a little while, whilst the caffeine kicked in, then I took a nice long steamy shower, hoping it would help reduce the puffiness of my eyes as much as possible. It didn't work, so I applied a light make-up and got dressed.

At quarter to two, I stepped out onto the street. It was a dull, grey day. Nevertheless, I put on big sunglasses to cover my swollen eyes. Then I power-walked all the way to Suki's house, angry rap music blaring through my earbuds. I almost got trampled by a trotting horse as I crossed a side street. God knows how I missed that big chestnut animal and the young rider who was dressed in bright, florescent yellow. I guess I had too much on my mind, and the banging music in my head certainly didn't help.

Suki glumly let me in and we stomped straight up to her room. I noticed a lot of her stuff had disappeared and there were three large packed boxes in the corner.

"I hope you're not moving away!" I said in alarm.

"I wouldn't be in this challenge if I was leaving!" Suki said. "They're my gran's stuff. She'll be eighty next-month – she's giving up her council flat and moving in with us tomorrow. She needs help. She has one of those pull along shopping trolleys and it was searched a couple of days ago."

"Searched?" I gasped. "Drugs?"

Suki laughed. "No – she was shopping and got all confused. She put the shopping straight into her trolley and walked out of the shop. She has dementia and it's suddenly got much worse. We moved to this area to be closer to her. We knew the day would come when she'd have to move in with us, but we just didn't expect it to come quite so soon. Mum's staying with her while they pack everything."

"I'm really sorry to hear that," I replied sadly. "It will be lovely for her living here though."

"I know. And she has a cute dog. I'm really looking forward to living with them both."

"Sweet! What type of dog?"

"A little brown Corgi mix. His name's Max."

"Aww! How sweet. Can't wait to meet them both."

"It'll be great. I'm moving into the garage extension – we were going to move gran in there, as it's ground floor, but we realised it might be a bit cold for her in winter. I can sneak my actor boyfriend into there when I win the challenge!"

I put on a false smile and changed the subject. "Is Rose in tomorrow?"

"Not sure. If she is, I might just kill her," Suki roared, ripping the cellophane from the new cards. She searched the internet for simple yes or no tarot spreads. Then she shuffled the cards, concentrating on the question Did Ty sleep with Rose? She picked five cards and laid them out in a line. According to the instructions, major cards like The Sun and Death meant a yes answer. Even numbered cards also indicated yes, and odd numbered cards indicated no. If all five cards were even it would indicate a strong yes, if all cards were odd it would indicate a strong no. Anything in-between would depend on the ratio of cards. Then you had to look at each card meaning for more depth on the matter.

I held my breath as she turned each card over – The Moon, The Wheel of Fortune, the Four of Pentacles, the Six of Pentacles and the Two of Staves. That was two major cards and three even cards which indicated a resounding yes – he did screw the homely old bitch.

Suki and I were too tired to interpret the cards together for the deeper meaning. We tried, but it didn't seem to make any sense, so she asked, "What does he see in her?" before fiercely shuffling the cards and picking out the Queen of Cups. She angrily tapped the name of the card into her iPad, which came up with words like emotional security and compassionate.

"Oh, I see!" Suki snapped, glaring at the tablet screen. "He likes the older women because he's looking for an emotionally secure, compassionate grandmother figure. Something must have gone very wrong in his childhood. Pervert!"

I couldn't help thinking about the time Suki had fancied Dudley. The age gap must have been very similar, so her comment was pretty hypocritical, but I knew exactly how she felt as I was feeling it too.

She shuffled the cards again, asking, "Will their relationship last?" She spread out another five cards which were mixed but showed that, more likely than not, it would last.

"Grrr!" Suki growled. "Why did you buy me these stinking cards?"

"Perhaps we shouldn't take it too seriously," I pointed out. "I guess we need to lighten up a little – we don't know for sure these things work."

"Sensible, I guess," Suki agreed.

We shuffled and asked questions for more than an hour. Amongst other things, the cards told us Suki would win the challenge and the relationship would be long lasting. They also indicated I would be married with kids within ten years and the man would have dark hair, and that Rose wouldn't live too much longer. I didn't like the bit about Suki winning, but otherwise the cards were quite positive for me – especially the bit about Rose's impending death.

"Can you pick out another card for me?" I said. "I want to see what the chances of a relationship with Ty are, if the cards are wrong about him and Rose."

"Sure!" Suki agreed, shuffling the cards, cutting them into three and picking a card for Ty and me. The card was The Tower. We looked it up. Basically, it meant disaster.

"Oh great!" I yelled, feeling sick in the pit of my stomach. "So there's no chance for me!"

"And the cards did say you'd marry a dark haired man – Ty's blonde."

"Might be dyed!" I pointed out.

"Yeah, it might be, I'm gonna pick out a card for Ty and me now."

She drew the ten of swords, which had the image of a dead person lying on the ground with ten swords stuck in their back. She reeled back in horror at the sight as I laughed inwardly. Her chances of a relationship with him didn't look good either then. Booyaka!

The next day, I arrived at work just before noon. Suki was there, solemn faced, waiting for me.

"I heard Rose talking to Kalisha this morning," she said. "She was all upset and said Ty is seeing someone behind her back."

"What?" I cried. "That doesn't make sense. They just got together a couple of days ago and he's now seeing someone behind her back? Are you sure that's what you heard?"

"Yep!" Suki said. "That's what I heard."

"OMG!" he sounds just as disgusting as Dudley! Where's Rose now?"

"She went home in tears."

"Bloody hell! Serves the dirty old woman right. Who would ever have guessed Ty was a bloody granny banger?"

"I know," Suki sighed, placing her head in her hands. "It's like a sick joke."

With little warning, I found my temper zooming skywards like a rocket. "I'm gonna go fucking mad with all this craziness. GRANNY BANGER!"

At that moment, Kalisha stormed through the office door. "Keep your voice down please, Yazmin! I know it's almost bonfire night, but do you really need to get that excited about fireworks?"

Suki burst out laughing. "Oh lordy," she whispered through giggles. "Does she _really_ think a granny banger is a firework? That's hilarious!"

I wasn't laughing. Before I could think, I blurted out, "Tyrone Small shagged Rose – we saw them leave the party together and we've heard he's already seeing someone else behind her back. I'm not surprised though – she's all wrinkles and sags. He must be crazy!"

Kalisha laughed. "You're off your head Yazmin Jones! Tyrone's only a young man – he wouldn't be interested in Rose! Why are you so upset anyway – do you have a romantic interest in him?"

I felt like I'd been knocked sideways by a bus. I didn't like people knowing about my romantic interests for fear of making a fool of myself.

"Not at all," I lied. "I just felt concerned for Rose, that's all. I had a migraine pill this morning – it's made me go a bit mad – don't think I'll be taking one again!"

Kalisha didn't look convinced, I guess my outburst had made my feelings for Ty pretty obvious.

"I think you need to cool down a bit," she said.

"Yes, I'll feel much better after a coffee."

"Take yourself off to the greenroom for a few minutes – their coffee's much better than the instant crap we've got in here."

"OK," I said, hopping off my chair.

"Actually," Kalisha said, striding towards her desk and opening the drawer. "I think we could all do with a nice coffee. She pulled out her purse and handed me a tenner. "Black coffees all round please!"

"Thank you," I said, breezing out of the office and hurrying to the greenroom to see who I could see. Ty wasn't there, thank goodness. I couldn't have faced speaking to him after what I'd seen at the party. I was still suffering from sleaze induced nausea. Dudley the perv was there though. He sat there looking all greasy and grimy, reading a copy of The Stage newspaper and greedily scoffing down a full English breakfast. The food disappeared into his face at such speed you'd think he hadn't eaten for a week. He wiped dripping ketchup from his chin with his sleeve, then wiped his greasy hands on his trousers as he looked up and gave me a sickly brown-toothed smile. I looked away, pretending not to notice, and promptly ordered the coffees.

As I made my way out of the greenroom, Dudley shouted, "Alright babe? I was really worried about you the other day – you looked really ill. You looked gorgeous last night though."

I didn't answer. I rushed away as fast as was possible in my heels without spilling the tray of scalding drinks all over myself. I hurried back to the office, banging on the door like I had a yeti on my trail. Suki let me in, a look of horror on her face.

"You look like you've seen a ghost!" she said. "Are you OK?"

"Yes," I lied, handing Suki her black coffee.

"Ty wasn't in there snogging Rose was he?"

"No," I said. "Dudley was in there – he just gives me the creeps."

"Me too," Kalisha said, shuddering. "I thought he was going to try it on with me at the party – the way he was ogling my tits."

I couldn't believe it! Kalisha must be nearing sixty and he'd perved us both. Had he eyed up every female in the room that night from seventeen to seventy? He obviously suffered from that sex addiction disorder thing.

Later that day, we got the news that Rose had been signed off work with depression. She wouldn't be coming back for a fortnight. Suki and I were desperate to find out the truth, and now it looked as though it might be sometime before we had any chance of having any idea what happened.

I had further bad news about half an hour later, when Mum stormed into the foyer announcing she'd quit her café job.

"I'd had more than enough!" she roared at me through the box office window. "We were having a latte art session – you know – milky patterns on top of coffees. The snooty bitch teaching us showed us how to do a leaf and they didn't like it because I did a ganja leaf."

"Sounds... different," I said, my head reeling. "Did it look like a ganja leaf?"

"No!" Mum bawled. "It looked more like a spider, but who cares? Stupid latte art bitch stuck her nose in the air saying they don't do drugs in their classy café. So I said, well, people come in with their tongues hanging out desperate for their coffee fix, don't they? We sell coffee – coffee contains caffeine – caffeine is a drug – so we're basically drug dealers. Then I walked out, telling them to keep their disgusting job! I want to work here in this theatre."

Poor Mum. In her rage, she hadn't thought it through. She had no chance of getting a job here now both Kalisha and the theatre manager had heard her rant - Peter had been sat behind me with Kalisha discussing a mistake in the latest theatre brochure. She's just like me – we get so hot headed at times that we practically explode.

"I don't think a job here's a possibility," I said, my face hot with embarrassment. "You'll need a complete change of image to stand any chance now. Perhaps you should buy big glasses and a rainbow wig."

I watched her face go into shock, as she realised what she'd just done. How were we going to survive? The café people would never give her a reference now, so her choice of jobs was going to be limited for the time being. I know how she felt – those people in the café were disgustingly snobbish, but it's a shame she didn't hang on and get herself another job before going off the deep end.

As she walked away, I noticed Dudley following her out of the door and wondered if he'd been there all along listening to her rant. Was he going to attempt to take advantage of her mood, or did he just happen to be innocently walking behind her? To my dismay, a bunch of people arrived and formed a small queue at my window. I glared at all the miserable faces in the line and felt like punching each and every one of them with a boxing glove.

"Have you got any tickets for _The Mad Dentist_ on the twelfth of January?" asked an old man in a trilby at the front of the queue.

"Sorry!" I burst out. "Emergency! Kalisha, can you take over please? I think my mum's been taken ill."

"Of course," Kalisha said at once. She attended to the old man as I rushed out the box office door then outside onto the street, where Dudley was chatting to my mum. I stood within earshot, neither of them could see me as I was stood behind a theatre information board spying through a gap between the wood and the supporting poles.

Dirty Dudley grinned at Mum, showing his tobacco coloured gnashers. "Anything for you, beautiful," I heard him say creepily. "It's a pleasure darling."

I saw red and found myself screaming, "Pleasure? I'll show you bloody pleasure!"

Mum and Dudley turned towards me in shock as I leapt out from behind the board, bearing my fists. Mum grabbed me. "Calm down Yazmin!" she yelled. "What's wrong with you? Dudley kindly gave me his autograph."

Embarrassed, I stopped and stared at Mum, then Dudley, whose face had frozen in terror. I sank my head into my hands.

"Sorry," I lied. "I've had a migraine pill – they affect brain chemistry. I'll have a coffee – then I'll be fine."

Dudley looked at me like I'd escaped from a secure unit, then hurried away. I'd never seen a fat man run so fast.

"Sorry Mum," I said. "It's just he's a filthy sex maniac. I was worried."

"Don't worry," Mum laughed. "I've got better taste. I didn't even want his autograph."

"What? You mean he forced his autograph on you?"

"No. I mean I don't want it for myself. I thought I'd get it to sell for electricity money, as I've just lost my job. I saw him and just thought I'd take advantage."

"Makes a change from him being the one taking advantage – dirty sleaze bag. Well, good luck finding someone who wants his smelly autograph. I'd better pop back to work. See you tonight – should I bring chips?"

"That'd be nice. Well, I'm off to the job centre now. See you later sweetie."

I rushed back into work. The queues had gone and Suki and Kalisha were staring at me through their individual windows.

"Is your Mum OK?" Suki asked.

"Yes," I said. "She felt faint. It was a bit scary but she seems OK now. She phoned a friend who's picking her up now to take her for a coffee."

"That's good of her friend," Kalisha said, smiling sweetly. "Would you girls like tickets to the press night of _Mothballs_ next week?"

"Yes _please_!" Suki and I chorused.

Kalisha picked us two special tickets right on the side of the stage and printed them off.

I arrived home at half past six, clutching a carrier bag of steaming chips and beans.

"Any luck at the job centre?" I asked.

Mum grinned. "Never went there!"

"Oh, I thought you said...."

"Didn't need to go. I've fixed myself up with a job in the corner shop – thirty hours a week."

"Well done!" I said.

"It's only temporary – covering sick leave. The Polish lady with the red hair is having an operation – they reckon she'll be away for six weeks. Then, when something else comes along, the new employers can ask the shop for a reference instead of the café, coz the café wouldn't give me one anyway. Smart, eh?"

"Don't the shop need a reference?" I asked, tucking into my chips.

"Nah – only temporary, innit? And the owner knows me. _And_ he's a Dudley Mountain fan. I went in to enquire about the job and one of Dudley's songs was playing. So I mentioned the autograph, he was very impressed so I said he could have it for free. Then the job was mine."

I giggled. "Nice Dudley's good for something."

Mum burst out laughing, but I sank into my chair, face in hands, thinking of the earlier incident when I'd shouted at Dudley. Then I lost my appetite – the thought of his face put me right off my chips.

Feeling tired and also a bit depressed about this actor challenge thing, which felt like it was going nowhere, I decided to have an early night. I lay there staring at the dark ceiling for ages, feeling the situation was hopeless. But then I thought about the way Ty looked at me. He really seemed to like me. It seemed I stood a good chance with him. It now appeared unlikely anything had happened between him and Rose - I began to feel a bit silly for ever having believed it. But how was I going to overcome my nerves to actually be able to string a few words together so I could talk to him?

My emotions went up and down for what felt like hours, one minute I felt positive, the next I felt hopeless. Then I had an idea. Perhaps there was an app or something I could download on my phone to help me overcome my shyness. I grabbed my phone, forgetting it was plugged into the charger. It shot out of my hand and plopped onto the carpet. I retrieved it, unplugged the charger, and typed in several phrases before finding a promising looking hypnosis app to help overcome anxiety with people you fancy. I downloaded the app and then lay back and listened. The soothing music and gently spoken words helped me drift off to sleep. The instructions said you needed to use it for a while before you saw results, but I had a very positive feeling about this. I was sure I was going to see some real results from day one.

Chapter Ten

The next morning, I awoke feeling great and I set off to work feeling confident enough to face the day. Tyrone was going to be mine!

I arrived in the office bright and early. It was Suki's day off – so she wouldn't be there to get in the way of Ty and I. Perfect! I breezed through the morning, answering every telephone call with confidence, wondering if the people on the other end of the phone actually realised they were talking to Tyrone Small's future wife.

Shortly before lunch, I had an idea. I thought about writing a quick note to Ty with my number on it. I could leave it at the stage door for him. It felt a bit daring, but he did really seem to like me, I couldn't communicate my feelings by talking to him and I really liked him and wanted to win this challenge. I was very nervous about the idea, but a voice within me kept pushing me and telling me it would be OK. Was this my gut feeling – or madness? I'd never done anything like that before for fear of making a fool of myself. I decided it was time to take positive action for once in my life.

I grabbed a blank sheet of photocopy paper and an envelope, folded the paper in half and wrote: Hi, Yazmin here from the box office. If you'd like to go out sometime, my number is... I added my number, addressed the envelope, sealed it, and placed it in my bag.

When lunchtime came, I nervously nibbled at my food and took a stroll down the street to calm my nerves whilst I pondered over whether or not I was doing the right thing. I decided to throw caution to the wind for once in my life and go for it. I rushed to the stage door like I was being carried along by a gale, nervously popped the envelope into the alphabetical pigeonhole marked T, and hurried away. About three minutes into my shift, I realised I'd been a bit stupid. I'd shoved the letter in the T pigeonhole for Tyrone instead of the one marked S for his surname – Small. Shit! I couldn't really leave the room because I'd only just come back from lunch and there was a queue of impatient faces at my window.

About half an hour later, just as I was about to make the excuse of needing the toilet so I could place the letter in the correct pigeonhole, Jeff – an elderly usher – came to my window, all smiles.

He looked around the foyer, leaned in and whispered, "Have you heard about Tracy from the bar?"

"Who's Tracy?" I asked.

"The girl with the pink and blonde streaked hair."

"Oh yes! I know who you mean."

"She's dumped her boyfriend for that young actor Tyrone Small."

My heart plummeted like a plane falling from the sky. I must have done something really terrible in a former life to have bad enough luck to hear such horrible news straight after sending what was practically a love letter to the male subject of the gossip.

"Oh!" I said, feeling my cheeks flush as my crashing aeroplane heart hit the ground and burst into flames.

"I saw them in the pub last night. They were all over each other. It was a bit embarrassing to watch, to be honest."

"Oh," I said again, suddenly unable to remember how to pronounce any other word in the English language.

"Worst bit is – she has a baby with her ex. I don't think the kid has even had her first birthday yet."

"Oh!" I said for a third time, annoyed I'd wasted my money on a stupid hypnosis download, only to find out the man it was supposed to help me be with had got together with someone else.

"She's a stunner though. I can't blame him," Jeff said dreamily.

"I don't think so," I said, finally finding my tongue. "I'd imagine him with someone much prettier and slimmer."

"Men don't want thin!" he laughed. "Voluptuous – that's what I'd call her. I'd have her myself, if I were forty years younger."

Fortunately, a couple approached him and asked for directions to the motor museum, which allowed me to silently cry to myself. Voluptuous? That's not the term I'd have used for her – I'd have just said lumpy, and she had funny eyes which sloped downwards at the outer corners. If I'd had those eyes, I'd have wanted to return them to the manufacturer as defective. She wasn't a patch on me. Ty had obviously believed I wasn't interested, which wasn't surprising given my behaviour. Then he'd gone for her. Perhaps she'd thrown herself at him. How cheap! The girl made Miss. Piggy look like an absolute stunner. It really felt like this husband ghost person the fortune teller had mentioned was having a laugh with his mates in the spirit world.

As soon as Jeff's back was turned, I told Kalisha I was desperate for the loo and dashed through the building towards the stage door, thinking it was a good job I'd put the letter in the wrong place, as he was less likely to have picked it up.

To my horror, when I got there, both the T and S pigeonholes were completely empty.

Breathing heavily, I turned to Bhumi, one of the stage doorkeepers, who was sat at the counter sipping tea.

"Has Tyrone Small collected his post?" I asked.

"Yes!" she replied, smiling. "Only just."

"Oh dear!" I said. "My colleague put the wrong note in the envelope!"

"He's most likely in the greenroom or his dressing room," Bhumi said.

"Thanks!" I replied, dashing through a glossy black internal door.

I cautiously approached the greenroom and peeped in. Ty was at the counter ordering a hot chocolate and the envelope was sticking out of his baseball jacket pocket. Had he read it? I decided to be brave. I took a deep breath and bounced up to him.

"Ty!" I said, my voice quivering. "Have you read it?"

He looked baffled. "Read what?"

"Have you opened the envelope?"

He smiled and drew it from his pocket. "Not yet, why?"

"My colleague made a silly mistake – she put your name on the envelope, but it contains a note about tickets for Dudley Mountain. Silly her!"

"I can give it to him," Ty said. "He should be here any minute."

"No!" I said, my face partially frozen with nerves. "The whole thing's a mistake – they sent him the wrong type of ticket letter too."

"Wrong type of ticket letter?" he said, puzzled.

"Oops, yes! I'd really rather have it back so she can do the whole thing properly, if you don't mind. She's embarrassed about it."

"Er... sure," Ty said, placing it in my trembling hand.

An hour or so later, I told my colleagues I needed the loo again and left the box office to take a casual stroll through the bar to see if Tracy was there. Sure enough, she was stood there leaning on the wrong side of the bar – the side the customers are supposed to stand – chatting to a young barman. The young barman saw me staring and stared back. Tracy turned around and smiled.

"Hi!" she exclaimed, as though I was her favourite person in the world.

"Hi!" I answered, pretending to be just as thrilled, because I didn't want her to think I was jealous. I looked at her face – the faulty eyes, the horribly long turned up nose and the thin, mean lips. Then my eyes dropped down to her chest. She had saggy tits - like a seventy-year-old. My eyes travelled down her body. Her legs were like tree trunks – big thick ankles – no shape to her legs at all. She had the weirdest figure I'd ever seen. She seemed to have lumps in all the wrong places. I walked back to the box office in shock. Could the whole story have been made up to test me? Surely a beautiful person like Ty wouldn't fancy that thing. Perhaps the old man suspected I fancied Ty and made the story up to see what my reaction would be. But would Jeff really go to all that trouble? Unlikely.

I grabbed my phone and sent Suki a text: _Have you heard Ty is going out with Tracy from the bar? Doubt it's true._

Suki replied immediately. _Tracy? I don't know her._

_Pink streaked hair_ , I replied.

_Oh yes - pretty girl_ , came Suki's stupid text.

No - weird eyes, thick ankles, big ski snout - ugly.

She's not that bad, but I know how you feel - I'm jealous too.

I'm not jealous of that thing - I'd kill myself if I looked like that. Got to go - extremely busy.

I threw my phone into my bag, hoping it was all a bad dream. Perhaps the hypnosis tape didn't suit me and had given me a nightmare. Trashy Tracy certainly looked like something out of a nightmare. How could anyone in their right mind call that thing beautiful? Could my life get any worse? What was I supposed to do now? It was all my stupid fault for coming up with this ridiculous actor boyfriend challenge crap.

Then I began to wonder if Ty never fancied me after all. Perhaps I had some mental disorder which made me believe people fancied me when they actually found me repulsive. The last bloke I believed fancied me went off with a seriously ugly woman too. Perhaps the same mental disorder made me see love rivals as caricatures. Perhaps the women didn't really look that disgusting. Perhaps my sick brain was distorting their features. Was I destined to be alone forever because I was mad?

One miserable week passed, during which Ty and Tracy were the talk of the town, and the press night of _Mothballs_ arrived. I'd heard Ty got killed off near the beginning of the play – something for Suki and me to look forward to. Dirty Dudley was the leading man, and colleagues who had already seen the play said he was a hopeless actor, so that would give us a laugh. Perhaps this performance was just the tonic I needed.

At half-past six, Suki and I met in the bar. Tracy wasn't there – she'd obviously taken the night off to watch Ty get murdered in the play. How thrilling for her! We enjoyed a lemonade each before excitedly entering the buzzing auditorium and taking our prime seats. We were actually sitting on the stage with our sides to the audience and consequently very much on show. Suki sat on the front end of the stage and I had the next seat in.

I spotted Tracy on the front row with a tarty looking woman I presumed was her mother. Tracy had made a great effort with her make-up, but it did nothing to hide her faults – her eyes still sloped down at the outer corners, resulting in a permanently pained expression and her nose still looked like a very long ski slope. As for the red lipstick on those almost non-existent lips - pwah! It suddenly occurred to me that Ty might have fallen for her because he's a kind soul who felt sorry for her face. He had, after all, endured a granny figure practically attempting to have sex with him in front of a crowd and then, instead of humiliating her, he kindly made sure she got safely home – if that story was true. Then I remembered Suki saying Ty was seeing someone else, then we found out he was seeing Tracy the trollop. I began to wonder again if something had actually gone on between them. Perhaps Kalisha had been sworn to secrecy. It was stupid of Rose telling Kalisha within ear wagging distance of Suki when the information was supposed to be confidential though.

The lights went down and the play began. Suki and I looked at each other and grinned. Some squeaky old-fashioned violin music played as Ty walked onstage. My eyes wandered down to Tracy, who was gazing at him all lovingly. I felt like throwing a bucket of slime over her. Ty walked to the back of the stage, opened a fake window, took a deep, theatrical breath and started talking about how lovely the countryside was. Then he was joined by some bitch with a squeaky voice who was playing his mother. His character then went hunting and got mistaken for an animal because of his furry coat and got shot dead. There was a long, boring court scene where the bloke who shot him was proclaimed innocent, I think - I was half asleep. It took great effort for Suki and me to keep our eyes open. Then Dirty Dudley appeared in the wings. He spotted us and froze in fear. There was silence as the other actors waited for him to come on. Suki and I immediately regretted taking stage side seats because we began giggling in full view of an audience of one thousand two hundred people. The more we tried to keep straight faces, the more we shook with laughter. The one thousand two hundred pairs of eyes on us did nothing to help this. The pressure not to laugh was so great that we exploded into loud shrieks of laughter. Dudley came on, forgot his lines and had to be prompted, but he couldn't understand what the prompt was saying. So Tyrone, who was supposed to be dead of course, crawled onstage and said his lines for him. It was the most unprofessional thing ever. I couldn't help thinking that Suki, me, Tyrone and Dudley would now all have to emigrate to Australia – I didn't see how any of us could continue working here.

We watched Dudley as he walked off stage, stood in the wings, took a deep breath and composed himself. He was then able to continue acting - if you could call it acting. The rumours were true – he was a totally crap actor - really over the top with his big, exaggerated gestures and shouting voice which sounded like he was reading directly from the script. But at least he could now remember his lines, including a very boring poem about using mothballs to keep his trousers from being eaten. Was this play real?

Our giggling stopped abruptly as a totally gorgeous dreadlocked black actor entered the stage. He had beautiful high cheekbones and gym workout muscles. What a god! He made Ty look like a gawky school kid.

"Wow!" Suki whispered. "He wasn't on the company list!"

"I know!" I said, ogling him as my heart bounced under my boobs.

He looked at me with a cheeky glint in his eye and that was it – I was smitten.

When the interval came, Suki and I dashed to the bar for a quick drink before eagerly taking our seats again. The second half of the play was every bit as boring as the first. Dudley continued to shout and throw his arms about wildly in over-dramatic gestures. The gorgeous black guy hardly appeared but, when he did, it made sitting through the boring drivel worthwhile. As the performance ended, the relieved audience were left wondering what the play was actually about.

"Shall we hang around the stage door and wait for the actors to come out?" I asked.

"No way!" Suki replied. "That's the kind of shit groupies do."

"OK," I agreed, though I was feeling a bit disappointed. "I guess you're right – we don't want to make fools of ourselves."

"Let's go for a drink in The Bell," Suki said.

"Great idea!"

We hurried to the pub and managed to get the best window seats. Suki searched for the _Mothballs_ cast list on her phone, and found out the black actor was called Jamal Hammer.

"Ooooo!" I said. "If I marry him I'll be Yazmin Hammer!"

"I think Suki Hammer sounds much better," Suki replied.

"Nah – Yazmin Hammer sounds kind of cool – I win – he's mine!" I replied, meaning every word.

Suki looked exasperated. "You can't be serious."

"I am, actually."

We sat there with a lemonade and lime each, waiting for the actors to appear. We waited and waited, but not one of them came in.

"Must have early rehearsals in the morning," I guessed.

"Unless there's a press night party somewhere and we're not invited," Suki said slowly.

"Charming! Yes – perhaps everyone is there but us. Perhaps the whole theatre has been gossiping about how they didn't want the mad bitches there."

"Perhaps it's at Dudley's house," Suki suggested.

"No wonder we're not invited then!"

"I wish one of us had a car, so we could drive around and find out where it is."

"We could walk around, I guess. Worth a try."

"Let's do it!" Suki said.

We knocked back our drinks, buttoned up our coats and set off, walking briskly in the cool night air. We trotted around for about half an hour before giving up.

"Let's share a taxi," Suki said. "I'm freezing."

"I've got a better idea," I said. "I'll phone Mum – she might even be able to detour a bit and have a look for this party with us. I can but ask!"

"Go for it!" Suki said, shivering.

Mum agreed to come out for us as a special favour, but stated she wasn't feeling too well, so I decided to just opt for the straight lift home – no detours, apart from to Suki's house. On the way home, however, we spotted Dudley strolling along smoking like a chimney with one hand and carrying a bottle of wine in the other.

"Mum!" I exclaimed, pointing at the ungainly sight. "Follow that idiot!"

"How can I?" Mum replied. "We're travelling faster than he is."

"Would you mind pulling over by that row of shops for a minute to watch him?"

"Why do you want to watch him? What's he up to?"

"We think there might be a press night party we're not invited to."

"Perhaps it's just for the cast," Mum suggested, looking like she desperately wanted to be home in bed with a hot water bottle.

"You're probably right, but we're curious."

"You want to spy on the actors?" Mum said, half laughing.

"In a word – YES!" I admitted.

"Sounds like a bit of fun," Mum said, as we watched Dudley turn into a side road. "But not for long. I really need to get some sleep."

"Thanks Mum. You're a legend!"

We waited a minute before slowly setting off again, crawling along until the car headlights caught another glimpse of the big buffoon. Then we pulled over and stopped for another minute or two, until we saw him turn another corner, then we set off again, slowly following him into a modern cul-de-sac. Mum parked the car as Suki and I pulled our coat hoods up, sank into our seats, and slyly watched as he knocked on the door of a small two storey terraced house. He turned and looked around the place, as though he was checking to see if anyone was watching. Then the door opened and a woman emerged, threw her arms around him and snogged him shamelessly right under a streetlight.

"It's not Rose, is it?" Suki said, staring at one of the most repulsive sights we'd seen all year.

"OMG!" I exclaimed, observing the short haired bespectacled woman necking the old sod. "I think it might be!"

"And she has the cheek to tell us to stay away from actors!" Suki said in disbelief.

"Really?" asked Mum.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Apparently, they're all drunken womanizers!"

"True in Dudley's case," Mum said.

"Very much so," I agreed.

"Looks like there's no party or Dudley would be there as he's the leading man," Suki pointed out. "Unless it's in the house, but I don't get the impression a swinging party's taking place, somehow."

"Nor me," said Mum.

I looked again up at the terraced house and almost puked. Dudley and the woman had moved upstairs – we could see them undressing. They hadn't even bothered to shut the curtains!

"Look!" I exclaimed, pointing up at the window of the dimly lit room.

Everyone stared, mouths hanging open in disbelief, as we watched the freak show.

"Eeew!" squeaked Suki. "I can't watch anymore!"

"I can't _believe_ Rose told us to keep away from actors," I said, practically having an epi. "First she throws herself at Ty, now she's shagging that flea bag! Hypocrite!"

"That's right," Suki added. " _And_ she's signed off work sick with depression."

"I'd be off work with chronic puking if I'd shagged that big puffy sleaze ball!" I said, trying not to be sick.

We sat in the car for a few minutes, to recover from the most shocking sight of the year so far, before heading home, laughing wildly.

Chapter Eleven

Early the next week, I was sitting at the side of the box office eating a packed lunch when Tyrone came to Suki's window.

"Hiya!" Ty said. "Quick question - do you have any tickets for _A Christmas Carol_ on December the third?"

"Yes – lots," Suki replied. "How are you?"

"Very well thanks. And you?"

"I'm fine. Did you hear Rose is off sick?"

"Who's Rose?" he asked.

As I heard those words, my heart leapt for joy. He didn't even know her name!

"The older lady who works here," Suki said. "The one you were dancing with at the party."

"Oh yes! I thought her name was Roz – I suppose it's the way she pronounced it – she was pretty drunk. She didn't seem too well - that's why I tried to call a taxi for her, but we couldn't get one. Then Dudley appeared when he'd finished his music set and kindly offered to walk her home."

"That was nice of him – what a kind man." Suki said in a cheeky voice, as I held a magazine up to my face and grinned behind it.

"Yes, he seems OK," Ty replied, sounding a bit unsure.

"I hear you and Tracy are an item. How is she?" Suki asked.

My smile faded and I began to tremble a little, still hiding behind the mag.

"She's great!" he replied, sounding all love struck.

I felt like a brick had been dropped on my chest.

"And how's her baby?" Suki continued.

"Baby?" came his shocked reply.

"Yes – her little girl."

"You must be mistaken. She has no kids."

"Strange," Suki replied. "I could have sworn she did. Perhaps she just looks after the kid most days, or something."

"I'll get back to you about the tickets!" Ty exclaimed, rushing away urgently.

I felt like five years of birthdays, Christmases, Easters and Halloweens had just come all at once.

Suki looked at me, her face twisted with nerves. "I can't believe I just said all that!"

"I'm glad you did!" I said. "OMG – what sort of woman lies about having kids?"

Suki bit her lip. "I hope it's true – I hope I haven't got it wrong. I have seen her with the kid in a pushchair, perhaps she was looking after it for someone."

"Nah!" I replied brightly. "Jeff said she had a baby girl too. He's a real gossip – he knows everything."

"Oh God! I'm nervous now."

"Don't be. Jeff seemed confident it was her kid. She's probably a compulsive liar. It's a good job Ty found out."

I finished off my sandwich slowly, relishing every bite, smiling as I chewed, while Suki dealt with another customer.

Soon after lunch, Kalisha came into the office laughing. "Dudley's been in trouble with the cops!"

"OMG!" I said. "Drugs?"

"No – riding his bicycle the wrong way around a roundabout."

"Bicycle?" Suki laughed. "Are you sure he wasn't driving his Ferrari the wrong way around a roundabout? He claims to own one."

"No – definitely a bike," Kalisha said. "Could be a Ferrari bicycle, I suppose – they make bikes too."

"Really?" I asked, believing she was joking.

"Google it!" Kalisha said.

I checked my mobile internet and, sure enough, it was true – Ferrari make very posh bikes!

"I wonder if he was drunk and wearing a wizard's costume at the time," Suki laughed. "Can you get banned from cycling?"

"I think he just got a warning," Kalisha replied, taking a seat at her desk. "Silly man! Apparently, he's boasting about it – he thinks it makes him a real badman."

"What an idiot!" I said, screwing my face up in disgust.

"Badman?" Suki laughed. "My gran's dog Max is more of a badman than Dudley – he got us thrown out of a pub for barking!"

"Now that's a _real_ badman," laughed Kalisha.

Early the same evening, we saw Dave – the head barman – arrive for his shift.

"Dave!" Suki exclaimed. "Does Tracy have a baby?"

"No," Dave answered. "Why?"

Suki gasped in horror. "I think I've just put my foot in it."

"Eh?" Dave asked.

"I asked Tyrone how Tracy and her baby were and he was shocked because he didn't think she had a kid. I told him she did."

Dave laughed. "Misunderstandings happen. Don't worry about it."

My heart sank, going down like a bloody great ship with half a million passengers on board.

At six o'clock, Suki and I finished work and went backstage looking for Ty, so Suki could apologise for her error. He was nowhere to be seen. We did, however, see Jamal. As usual, my heart beat like a drum and my legs felt like jelly, but Suki was cool as a cucumber.

"Hi Jamal!" she said, batting her eyelids. "You haven't seen Ty Small, have you?"

"No sweetie!" Jamal replied, sounding seriously gay. "I'll tell him you ladies were looking for him. Introduce yourselves!"

"I'm Suki and this is Yazmin," Suki said, pushing me forwards.

I wanted to smile, but my face had frozen – partly because I fancied him and part in shock. He didn't sound gay when he was onstage last night.

"Pleased to meet you both," Jamal said. He smiled at us brightly before mincing into the greenroom.

Suki turned to me, eyes wide as saucers.

"Just our damn luck!" I snapped, rolling my eyes.

In just a couple of weeks, one bloke I seriously fancied had got together with the ugliest woman in town and the next turned out to be gay. Was I destined to be alone in life, or would it be third time lucky? Probably not – the next bloke would probably turn out to be a serial killer or something. I couldn't believe my life!

A couple of days later, I arrived at work with a headache, most likely caused by the stress these men were giving me. Fortunately, it quickly vanished after a paracetamol.

As I slammed my fists on the desk, following a telephone conversation with a crabby old customer, Suki whispered, "Jamal isn't gay."

"Really?" I answered. "Some good news for a change."

"No," Suki said. "It's not good news - he's married with a baby. I heard him telling one of the stage crew. The relationship sounds a bit rocky though."

"Oh dear!" I said. "Perhaps he saw us ogling him from the stage side seats and put on the gay act to keep us away."

"Seems a bit extreme," Suki replied.

"This stupid competition is causing me grief," I moaned. "I really don't want to be in it anymore."

"No!" Suki said. She stuck out her bottom lip, like a sad baby. "It's too much fun – don't spoil it!"

"I've really gone off the idea."

"Relax and enjoy!" Suki said, touching my shoulder reassuringly.

"But everyone I fancied has been eliminated already and the company have only been here a couple of weeks. It's making me miserable."

"Let's give it a little longer – _please_!" Now she was making puppy eyes. "Keep your options more open – you might just have overlooked that special someone."

"I'll think about it," I replied, knowing full well I didn't want to continue to be part of this stupid contest.

As I left work that evening, I got a text from Mum saying we needed a loaf of bread, so I nipped into Skippy's newsagents on my way home. As I entered the shop, my eye was immediately drawn to a magazine half way up the shelves. On the cover was a sultry black woman whose dark, mysterious eyes seemed to follow me around. I crept over to take a closer look – the mag was called _Mystic Beauty_. I took a quick flick through. It looked awesome – jam packed with articles on beauty, astrology, psychic art, crystals and all sorts of exciting stuff. At the back of the mag were lots of adverts for psychic readings, amulets, horoscopes and love spells! The thought of this actor boyfriend challenge thing suddenly became exciting again – I could use a love spell to win it! I shoved the mag under my arm, grabbed a sliced loaf and threw them both onto the counter, grinning from ear to ear. I quickly handed over the exact cash, then rushed home through the lamplit streets, the grin still emblazoned across my face.

When I reached home, my meal was already being dished out – jacket wedges with chilli beans. I bolted the food down at record speed before rushing to my room with the mag and turning straight to the ads. Several witches were advertising magic services. I quickly settled on someone called Maisie. Admittedly, it was a bit of an odd name for a witch, but I had a good feeling about her. The fact she was running a buy one get one free offer helped, and - best of all – she specialised in love spells and guaranteed quick results! I immediately knew which spells to choose - _Break up a couple and attract your lover_ so I could have Ty, and _Get rid of unwanted attention_ to keep Dirty Dudley away.

I eagerly tapped my details into the online form, silently cheering to myself and jiggling my fists around in excitement as I sent the order. I had to allow up to five working days for a reply and I couldn't wait! There was no way I was going to tell Suki or anyone else about this. When Ty and Tracy split up and Dudley mysteriously couldn't see me anymore, no one in the world would know why – apart from myself and Maisie the witch!

It took ages to get to sleep that night as I tossed and turned and grinned and laughed silently to myself, imagining the scenarios of Dudley leaving me alone, Ty and Tracy splitting up, and Ty telling me he must have been mad to fancy Tracy, as she was so ugly and boring; as well as Suki admitting defeat when Ty became mine and I won the challenge. When I finally got to sleep, I had the most wonderful dream in which Ty and I were snuggling in a field of white flowers. It felt so real and spiritual that I was sure it must be a premonition.

I woke the next morning feeling on top of the world. Life felt fab. Even though it was November, it felt like Spring. I was going to win this thing with magic! Work was unusually quiet. This was great because Kalisha announced Rose would be returning to work the following day, so it gave Suki and me a chance to talk about what we were going to say to Rose to find out whether or not it was her we saw with Dudley that frightful evening.

"How about asking her if she's seen much of Dudley recently?" Suki suggested.

"Go on then!" I said. "If you have the courage to say it to her."

"I'll do it!" Suki said, without hesitation. "If that doesn't get much of a reaction from her, I could pretend we've heard he has AIDS."

"Goodness gracious me!" I gasped. "I don't think so – that could get you into a lot of trouble."

"True! I'll just talk about him lots – like him being a bad actor and a creep and stuff - as we watch her reaction."

"Can't wait!" I said joyously. "Poor woman!"

"We've also got to get to the bottom of her conversation with Kalisha when she said Ty was seeing someone else."

"We'll mention Ty and Tracy then, and see how she reacts when we tell her about Dudley and that tarty woman in the pub," I managed to say before we noticed several calls were waiting to be answered.

I checked my emails on and off all day, but received nothing from Maisie the witch. I knew it had only been a few hours so it was a bit early for her to reply, but I was so excited! I just couldn't wait for the spells to work. Maisie had guaranteed quick results, so I was guessing Ty would be mine before the year was through, and it was already November!

Towards the end of the day, an old balding man who worked in the general office came to one of the box office windows and handed two envelopes to Suki. The top one was addressed to Kalisha and the other one unsealed and blank. Suki popped Kalisha's letter on her desk, then opened the blank one and looked up at me, grinning cheekily.

"What is it?" I asked, leaning forward to take a look.

"It's a list of the properties each actor is renting!" she whispered, quickly folding it and slipping it into her two-tone pink handbag. It wasn't addressed to anyone, so I guess it was a gift from the angels."

"We can go on a little tour!" I said.

"That's exactly what I was thinking," Suki said with a grin. "We can pick a few interesting ones and find out where they live. Do you think your Mum would drive us?"

"She might, if we offer to take her for a meal afterwards, or something."

"Sounds great!" Suki said. "Ask her tonight!"

"OK," I whispered. "I'll text you later."

"Awesome! As soon as I get home, I'll email you a copy of the address list."

"Can't wait!"

At twenty-past six, I arrived back at the flat and was met by a strong, spicy aroma wafting from the kitchen where Mum was stirring away at a pot.

"Almost ready!" she said. "Cashew and cauliflower curry."

"Nice!" I replied, taking off my coat and hanging it up in the hall.

I was just relishing my last spoonful of the delicious dish when an email arrived on my phone. It was from Suki, and it contained the company address list. I waited until Mum had finished and then said, "Do you fancy taking Suki and me on a tour this week?"

"I'm busy with work and stuff," Mum replied.

"Just a short tour round town," I said, handing my phone to her. "Look – Suki and I have a list of the actors' addresses and we just thought it would be fun to see where a few of them live."

Mum's eyes widened as she scrolled down the list. "Naughty girls! Where did you get hold of this? I hope you didn't steal it."

"It was a gift from the angels," I replied. "A bloke from the office handed it to Suki by accident when he was delivering another letter. We thought it would be fun. We just want to pick out maybe six or seven of them and have a peek at their accommodation."

"But it's dark in the evenings."

"Are you working Sunday?"

"Only until noon."

"How about we take you for Sunday lunch - I'll pay - and then take the tour afterwards?"

"OK," Mum agreed, her face brightening. "Why not? It's something a bit different to do. But I hope we don't see any more nastiness from Dudley."

"Can't guarantee it!" I laughed, hurrying to my room to text Suki.

Excitedly, I typed out the message: _Hi. Thanks for list. Could u make Sun lunchtime? Mum's working till 12_.

_Unsure_. Came her reply. _We're having a little party for Max - five years since Gran adopted him from dog shelter._

_OK_ , I texted back, pretending not to be disappointed. _That's very sweet_. _Will arrange another day then._

_Sorry_.

No worries.

I sank down on my bed, feeling deflated, then checked my junk folder in case Maisie's email had landed there. No luck.

Then another text came through from Suki: _Mum says we're having Max's party at five o'clock now - the tour is on!_

Cool!

Let's study our company lists and see whose places we want to see. Will get back in about fifteen minutes, if OK.

Fab!

I looked down the list and picked out Dudley, Tyrone and Jamal. Obviously, I didn't fancy Dudley, but was very curious about what sort of a place he lived in and whether or not there was a Ferrari up the drive. I couldn't resist seeing where Jamal lived, even if he did have a wife and kid, especially as Suki said his relationship sounded rocky.

Then Suki phoned. She'd picked five altogether – the same three as me, plus a couple of young actors she fancied – Colin Leverne and Mick Sterry. They all lived in town, so it looked like it was going to be an easy job for Mum and I couldn't wait!

Sunday finally arrived after what felt like a century. I woke up late, took a quick shower and just about managed to get myself ready before Mum arrived to pick me up. It was a horrid, grey, rainy day – not quite the day I'd been picturing. We drove straight to Suki's house. She promptly appeared, wearing a lilac rain mac. She jumped into the back seat of the car and we headed for The Coach and Horses – a pub on the outskirts of town.

We smiled in delight as we entered the warm, welcoming pub. The interior had brown wooden beams and white walls decorated with horse brasses. The velvety red carpet made the place feel even warmer.

We chose a table in a quiet corner, ordering a delicious main course and a coffee each before heading back out into the rain and jumping into the car.

Suki pulled the list from her handbag. "I've put the places in order to make it easier," she said excitedly.

"Great!" said Mum. "You'll have to guide me – I'm not too familiar with the town yet."

"I know," Suki replied. "We'll go to Mick Sterry's first – he lives around the corner from Skippy's Newsagents."

"That's cool," answered Mum. "Which road?"

"Bluebell Road – the one with the big yellow house on the corner."

"Oh yeah," said Mum. "I know it."

We drove to Bluebell Road and parked outside the rather scruffy looking old block of flats where Mick lived. This was not the day I'd pictured at all – looking at a dark, depressing building through furiously moving windscreen wipers.

"OK," I said to Suki. "Where next?"

"Ty!" she replied. "Head towards the theatre first."

Mum followed her instructions. As we drove along, I was a stiff mass of nerves. I was worried about what I might see. Would he be walking along hand in hand with Tracy or kissing her goodbye on the doorstep? I felt like a million tiny moths were fluttering in my poor tight stomach.

The drive took about five minutes. Ty's accommodation was a little red brick terraced cottage in a narrow street. All the curtains were closed and it now felt as though there was a gymnast in my stomach doing backflips, as I wondered if Tracy was in there with him. Then a red car drove up behind us and sounded its horn. We were blocking its path. We had to move on, which I had mixed feelings about. While part of me was worried I might see him with Tracy, another part had been hoping to see him anyway – preferably with his Mum, or talking to the local vicar, or anything, as long as he wasn't with that bitch.

"Huh! That was boring," I said shakily, in an attempt to mask my feelings. "Where to now?"

"Dudley's place," Suki declared.

"This should be interesting!" I said. "Let's see if this Ferrari he claims to own is parked in the drive!"

We drove through a maze of winding roads and then out onto a rather grand road of big, smart, detached houses. We found Dudley's house at the very end, opposite a field. His house wasn't as grand as the other houses in the road, but it was well kept, with a concrete drive behind a tallish hedge. No sign of any Ferrari and no garage. It looked like the garage had been converted into a room. We parked by the field and watched the house through the rain.

"He always wears the same clothes," Suki said. "They must be the only clothes he owns."

"It must take a hell of a lot of money to support all those kids he has," I reminded her.

"All _what_ kids?" said Mum, looking dumbfounded. "I was reading about him the other day. The article said he had one son and one daughter."

"Secret kids!" Suki said. "About a thousand of them."

Mum threw her head back in laughter. "Whoever told you that must have been exaggerating wildly."

"It's my own theory," I told her. "He had that big pop career and now he's somehow getting away with an acting career, but he wears the same stuff all the time. He shags so many women, I reckon he probably has kids to support all over the world."

"A thousand young Dudleys?" Mum laughed. "I hope not!"

The thought made me feel sick.

"You'd have thought he'd have got his awful teeth fixed, if he was minted," I pointed out.

"True," Mum said. "Perhaps he thinks the teeth give him character, or he might be worried a new set of gnashers might ruin his voice."

"Might improve it," I hissed.

"Look!" squealed Suki suddenly.

Mum and I turned our attention to the house again. The front door had opened. Dudley crept out onto the driveway, acting pretty suspiciously, looking around slyly to see if anyone was watching him. Strangely, he didn't appear to spot us, even though the windscreen wipers were moving. Perhaps our green car was camouflaged against the trees and fields and he'd forgotten to put his contact lenses in.

"Do you think he's selling drugs or something?" Mum asked, looking pretty shocked as she watched the blubbery bastard dodge down an alleyway, a large rucksack strapped to his back.

"Possible," I said, my lip curling in disgust.

"Extra money to support the thousand kids!" Suki joked.

Mum started the engine and drove to Cauldicott Road. According to the map on Suki's phone, that's where the alleyway led to. We drove around a bit, but there was no sign of him. I smiled to myself, hoping he might have fallen down a disused mine shaft or something similar.

"Damn!" snapped Mum, slapping the steering wheel in frustration. That looked interesting. I wonder what he's up to."

We then took a quick look at Jamal's place – a terraced cottage a bit like the one Ty lived in. The kitchen window was at the front and we could see him washing up. We sped off, hoping he hadn't spotted us.

Our last stop was Colin Leverne's place. This looked like a family home and we noticed a pushchair parked in the porch.

"Oh," Suki said miserably. "He's got kids. Shame – he's a bit tall for me, but rather dishy."

"He might just rent a room in a family home," Mum pointed out, which cheered Suki up a little.

As we returned to Suki's house, the rain stopped and the sun came out. Typical! Almost immediately, the front door opened and her mum stepped out, followed by an old Japanese lady and a cute little brown dog – obviously Suki's gran and Max. Her gran smiled and waved enthusiastically.

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "Your gran doesn't look like I imagined her to look with dementia. I thought she'd look all blank and confused all the time. She looks normal."

"She has good days and bad days," Suki replied. "She's in the mid stages of the illness at the moment – it will get worse, if she lives long enough."

"Oh," I replied, not knowing what to say.

"They've got a lovely home with you," Mum said sweetly. "It looks like a lovely area for the doggy with all the hills and fields close by."

"It is!" Suki said. "Max and Gran love it here!"

The trio proceeded up a path by the side of Suki's home, Max sniffing the ground and wagging his tail excitedly. We all remained in the car, googling Dudley's name to find out whether or not he had any drug convictions. There was nothing at all to link his name with drugs, other than him being quoted as saying he was dead against them. There was an interesting article about his disputes with band members though. Apparently, no band member ever lasted more than a few months because he drove them up the wall. It sounded like they all ended up hating his guts as much as I did. One musician - Johnny Whistler – lost his rag and chased Dudley offstage at a big rock festival, wielding a guitar – we even watched the footage. Best thing I'd seen in years! Another time, during a studio rehearsal, a percussionist - Ivor Tambourine - had an argument with Dudley over a woman. Ivor went completely berserk, clashed Dudley's head between two cymbals, then smashed his maracas and stormed out, never to return. I'd have loved to have seen footage of that one but, sadly, it didn't appear to exist.

Another day passed and an exciting email appeared in my inbox early morning. Maisie the witch had replied!

Dear Yazmin,

Thank you for your request and secure payment.

I'm very pleased to inform you the magic is already beginning to work for you, though you may not realise it yet!

For the next fortnight, I will be carrying out a special ritual for you each night at 10pm, using herbs and candles. At this time, you should light a candle, or gaze at a crystal, concentrating particularly strongly on the things you wish for. You should do this for two minutes every night at the above time.

Good Luck.

Your friend,

Maisie.

At half past eight the same morning, I whizzed out of the flat and down the stairs so fast that I couldn't remember doing it. Then I walked to work like I was dancing on air. I was surprised to see Rose when I entered the box office - I'd been so excited about Maisie's email that I'd forgotten she was coming back to work that day! Suki was just sitting herself down right next to Rose and slinging her bag on the next chair to save it for me. She gave me a big wink.

I fetched my headset and sat down next to Suki, feeling pretty nervous. Rose had just come back after being signed off with depression, and it was possible Suki was about to depress her even more.

Chapter Twelve

"We've really missed you Rose," Suki said. "Did you get up to much when you were off sick?"

"No," replied a bewildered Rose. "I was too ill."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Suki replied, sounding totally false. "Yazmin and I went to see _Mothballs_ the other night – Dudley and Ty were in it."

Rose blushed scarlet, and Suki gave me a cheeky sly look which made me giggle. I managed to turn the giggle into a cough without Rose noticing.

"Was it good?" asked Rose, a noticeable quiver in her voice.

"No," Suki replied. "It was terrible – Dudley is an awful actor."

I could see Rose didn't like this comment from the way her eyes narrowed for a second, but she managed to bite her lip and say, "I haven't seen his acting yet. He's an amazing singer though."

"If you like old fashioned music he's OK, I guess," Suki replied.

"I wouldn't call his music old fashioned," Rose said. "It's quite timeless."

"More like tuneless," Suki laughed. "We saw him in the pub the other day – _with a_ _woman_. He was all over her. It was quite disgusting."

Rose went very silent and turned very red.

"You don't look too well," Suki said. "Perhaps the doctor should have signed you off for a few more days."

"I just don't want to hear about relationships!" Rose cried. "I'm having problems with Tony – my husband, if you must know." Then she stormed out the office, looking extremely upset.

Suki looked at me regretfully. "I feel awful," she said.

"So do I," I replied. "Did she just call her husband Tony?"

"I think so. Why?"

"It's just that day when you heard her saying Ty is seeing someone else. Are you sure she didn't say Tony is seeing someone else?"

"It's possible," Suki replied. "She was whispering to Kalisha, so I guess she could have said Tony."

"So, it's her husband who's been seeing someone else – that must be why she's been signed off with depression."

"Yes – and throwing herself at Ty and sleeping with Dudley to console herself."

"I can hardly believe the woman who warned us away from actors just a few weeks ago is now throwing herself at them – the shock of finding out about her husband must have totally screwed her up."

"Must have. Poor woman. I feel a bit bad."

"So do I," I said, wondering how we were going to make Rose feel better if and when she returned to the room.

Then Kalisha arrived for work looking concerned. "Where's Rose?" she asked.

"She went out looking upset a few minutes ago," I said. "She mentioned problems at home."

"I see," Kalisha said, leaving the room in search of her friend.

The atmosphere suddenly felt pretty gloomy, so I thought it might be best to change the subject. "How are your gran and her dog?" I asked when Suki finished booking tickets for a customer.

"They're OK," Suki said. "I love little Max – it's great having a doggy. It's hard with Gran though - she keeps asking the same questions over and over again and putting things in odd places. She had some sorbet last night and she put the tub back in the kitchen cupboard instead of the freezer. Dad found it this morning all melted. I hate dementia!"

"So sorry," I said.

"Mum's just reduced her work hours so she can be at home a bit more to look after Gran and Max. We can't really afford it, but she has no choice."

Kalisha and Rose came back into the office. Rose had a false smile painted on her face. She threw herself back into her work, answering call after call without pausing, to avoid talking to any of us.

At lunchtime, I had a big sweet craving, so decided to nip over to The Sesame Bap café for a big sticky bun and a double espresso.

I'd only just left the café when a man in a green parka tripped over and fell onto the pavement. Instinctively, I ran to his aid. Then I had a horrible shock. As I grabbed his arm and began to manhandle him, I realised it was Dudley. I cringed. It was almost as bad as the time I'd gone to step into my jeans last summer and found a big spider in the crotch. I very nearly dropped Dudley again, but the staff and customers in the café were all watching, so I felt I had no choice other than to continue helping the filthy frump. As he stood up, he gazed into my eyes, like we were lovers. I felt sick. Clearly, the spell wasn't working yet.

I helped him to his feet and went to walk away.

"Ouch!" he yelled after me. "My ankle!"

Reluctantly, I propped him up as he limped across to the theatre. He had all new clothes on for a change, and that's why I hadn't recognised him from behind. As I helped him along, my mind went back to the vile vision of him kissing Rose that night, but I imagined him doing it dressed in the wizard costume he'd worn at the Halloween party, and I found myself laughing. I couldn't help it – I guess it was my nerves. Then he looked into my eyes and began laughing too. It was really nauseating, and yet I found it funny at the same time.

I took him to the stage door, told the doorkeeper what had happened and left them to deal with it.

When I returned to the office, it was Suki's turn for lunch.

"Jeff's just reported he saw you with Dudley," she said as we crossed in the doorway. "I thought you didn't like him."

Rose, who was stuffing tickets into envelopes, looked up in horror – knocking a stack of mail onto the floor.

"I don't like him!" I snapped. "I had to help him coz he hurt his ankle - couldn't Jeff see he was limping?"

"He didn't mention a limp – no."

"I didn't even realise it was Dudley until I started helping him up. He was wearing all different clothes, which made him look younger from behind."

"LOL!" Suki laughed. "When Jeff told me he'd seen you with him I was thinking OMG first Rose and now Yazmin!"

I saw the colour drain from Rose's face as she listened in shock. "What do you mean?" she gasped.

Suki turned around, realised what she'd said, looked extremely uncomfortable for a moment and then said, "We think the tart we saw him with in the pub was called Rose."

"I see," Rose said, not looking convinced, before bending down to pick up the spilled letters with trembling hands.

When the work day was over, Mum gave me a lift home. Feeling repulsed after having had physical contact with Dudley, I ran into the flat, threw my clothes in the washing machine and leapt into the shower like I was on fire. I stood under the gushing jets of water, scrubbing and rubbing from head to toe until I finally felt decontaminated and nice again. I couldn't believe my bad luck – what rotten timing to be right behind the bastard when he tumbled. Pity the fall hadn't killed him. As I dried my hair, I concentrated madly on the spells – particularly the one to get rid of Dudley's unwanted attention. I couldn't wait for tomorrow, as I had a strong feeling I was about to see some amazing results from the magic spells.

Chapter Thirteen

I was up bright and early before my alarm went off the next morning, eager to see what the day had to bring. I put on my best make up and then walked to work with a spring in my step, floating on cloud nine. As I neared the theatre, I noticed a pair of dishy lads who worked backstage looking at me. No doubt the spell was working and I was beginning to bewitch everyone who looked in my direction. I don't think I'd ever felt so confident in my life as I shimmied into the box office, smiling at everyone.

"Are you alright?" Suki asked as soon as she saw me. "You're acting like a crazy crackhead. I hope Dudley didn't sell you any drugs."

"No way!" I reassured her. "I'd never take drugs – I'm just feeling a bit hyper."

Work went by pretty smoothly that morning, bar one snooty customer I had to put in her place and one deaf customer I had to yell at. But I was still bewitching the men – I was amazed at the amount of hotties eyeing me up. Maisie the witch rocked!

Just before lunchtime, Ty and Tracy passed the box office window. They didn't look particularly happy. That spell appeared to be working then! My guess was that they'd break up before the week was out, and it was already Thursday! Ty was looking in my direction – he wasn't looking at Tracy. Who could blame him? I was much more beautiful than that freaky streaky-haired bitch.

A bit later on, Dudley appeared. To my horror, he was wearing tight graffiti design cycling shorts which pretty much showed everything. I didn't know where to look.

"Help!" I whispered to Suki.

Suki pulled a disgusted face.

Rose looked in his direction and smiled, which was hardly surprising, given the fact everything was practically on show. "He's been doing a sponsored bike ride in aid of Doug's Dogs Home," she said.

"How sweet!" Suki said. "Gran adopted Max from Doug's Dogs Home!"

Dudley actually went up in my estimation for a moment. It seemed very nice of him to do something to raise money for shelter dogs. But then I began to wonder if it was all carefully calculated. Raising money for animals impresses women. Perhaps raising money for dogs to impress the bitches was all part of his nastiness.

One thing I did notice was that, for once, I hadn't seen him look at me. Perhaps the keep Dud away spell was working too! I was just laughing to myself when something shocking happened. Dudley collapsed, clutching his chest heart-attack style. He looked like he was being a bit over dramatic, like his crap acting, but nevertheless one of the front of house crew took out his phone and called an ambulance. Then I remembered last night. Around the time I'd been concentrating on the spell to get rid of his attention, I kept thinking it was a pity the fall hadn't killed him. As much as I hated the slithering slug, I felt dreadful. I hadn't meant to kill him. Pictures flashed through my mind of Suki's mum and his other fans. I thought how upset they'd be if he died. I couldn't stand the man, but I'd still never forgive myself for killing him with witchcraft, and I really didn't fancy the thought of burning in hell, condemned to eternal damnation. It suddenly occurred to me he might have actually done that bike ride to genuinely help those dogs!

Rose rushed into the foyer crying, "Dudley!" She knelt down and hugged him.

Then Suki baffled us by urgently fleeing the building.

"Where's she gone?" asked Kalisha.

"No idea," I replied, shaking my head. "I hope she's OK."

A minute later, the mystery was solved when Suki returned declaring, "It's not a Ferrari bike – it's a rusty old grey thing!"

Kalisha and I just looked at her, amazed the bike was her main concern when Dudley lay there, possibly dying.

Then a Jamaican lady who worked in the press office arrived, glaring at Rose and holding Dudley's head. It looked like she'd been sleeping with him too. The ambulance crew arrived and had to prize both women off the old git so they could attend to him. And then he threw up. Eeew! Was this revenge for me throwing up in front of him? One paramedic cleared up the sick, whilst the other rolled up Dudley's t-shirt and placed a stethoscope on his flabby, hairy torso. My stomach churned.

I couldn't believe my eyes when a third woman appeared – a chunky, middle-aged blonde I'd never seen before. News had obviously travelled around the building lightning fast. The crazy bitch ran into the foyer clutching a rolled up newspaper and smacked him over the head with it. Then she pointed the paper at me aggressively and screamed, "Leave my Dudley alone!"

I wondered if she somehow knew about the spell. Perhaps it was Maisie herself. Surely Dudley wasn't seeing Maisie of all people! Three front of house men and one of the paramedics jumped on her and wrestled her to the floor with great difficulty. During the struggle, the newspaper dropped from her hand, unravelling on the tiled floor. Rose stared at it in disbelief before grabbing it and storming into the box office screaming, "I can't believe it!"

"Can't believe what?" Kalisha, Suki and I chorused.

Rose held up the newspaper with a shaky hand. Kalisha and Suki stared at it in shock, but I couldn't see.

"What is it?" I asked.

My colleagues stared at me in horror. I froze and stared back. Rose wailed like a banshee, then dropped the paper. I looked down at it, my eyes almost popping out of my head.

Chapter Fourteen

The picture was the first thing I saw, and then my eyes darted up a level to the headline _Dudley's Mystery Lover_. Dudley's 'mystery lover' was me! Somewhere in the middle of a famous newspaper my mum nicknames The Daily Crap, because of its complete bullshit stories, was a picture of Dudley and me apparently strolling arm in arm looking blissfully happy. It had been taken the day before, when he'd hurt his ankle and I'd helped him along the road. No wonder Ty and the other hot guys had been staring at me today, and no wonder Dudley had avoided looking in my direction. It was nothing to do with Maisie's spells. Some low life photographer had obviously been lurking the moment I picked the drunken bastard up off the floor. Why me of all people? I hated the dirty man with a passion. How was I ever going to get over this nightmare? Oh how I wished I'd left the sod lying there and casually stepped over him, or dropped something heavy on his head!

Slowly, I looked up at my colleagues who were still staring at me, frozen like statues.

"I'm not with that twat!" I said shakily.

"It's there in the paper in frigging technicolour!" screamed Rose, holding back tears.

"I told you yesterday!" I yelled. "I picked him up off the floor. He fell."

"Yeah, sure!" Rose yelled back, going purple in the face.

"It's true," Suki said. "You can tell Dudley's limping in the photo."

Rose studied the image. "I suppose his legs do look a bit funny."

"Dudley and I both started laughing for some reason – that's why we look so happy on the photo. I wish I'd just left him on the ground."

"His ankle recovered remarkably quickly if he managed to do all that cycling today," Kalisha remarked. "How did you manage to lift a man that size off the ground? I bet he partly helped himself up. Probably nothing wrong with his ankle."

"True," I answered, feeling embarrassed about being conned by the creep. "It all happened in a bit of a blur."

"He saw a paparazzi bloke near his home a few days ago," Rose said.

"How do you know?" Suki asked, putting on that cheeky musical voice again. "You seem to have done an awful lot of talking to Dudley."

"I see him in the greenroom and stuff," Rose said, blushing a little.

I thought about the time we'd spied on his house a few days beforehand. So that's why we'd seen him dodging around and acting suspiciously. Perhaps drugs had nothing to do with it – he was probably trying to avoid the paparazzi.

"I don't think I've ever had a day like this before!" Kalisha said. "I guess we'll have to leave all the ringing phones to the staff upstairs – there are plenty of them. I'll get Mike and Dana to come down and cover the windows. I think we all need to take a break."

I kept my head low as we followed her to the greenroom. There were only two actors in there – a scruffy middle-aged bloke, whose name I couldn't remember, and Carl Zimmerman – the actor who reminded us of an evil Santa Claus. It was the first time I'd seen Carl in real life. Both actors looked up and stared – not at my colleagues – just at me. Either I was the most stunning of the group or they'd seen the paper. Kalisha ordered four black coffees with a jug of water to cool them to a drinkable temperature. We sat there in silence as we sipped our drinks, not knowing what to say.

I gritted my teeth in anger as I remembered the clairvoyant at the fair. Had she been genuine, she'd have surely told me not to leave the house unless I was wearing a Spider Man mask yesterday, so millions of people wouldn't now be believing I was Dudley's girlfriend! Why him of all the people in the world? In all my life, I don't think I'd ever felt so bad. Half the population now saw me as a cheap little bimbo after the bloody buffoon for his money and fame. I shuddered as I thought of Mum. She was at work and her shop sold newspapers! Had she seen the picture? I wished I'd never picked up that evil witch magazine. It was now looking like the spells may have cursed me.

We finished our drinks and returned to the box office, where Mike and Dana were sat sniggering at the paper.

Kalisha took me over to her desk and said sympathetically, "Are you alright Yazmin?"

"Not really!" I replied, trying not to cry.

"You've had a nasty shock. Do you think you're up to working the rest of the day?"

"I don't know!" I said, bursting into tears. "This is the worst day of my life. What am I going to do?"

"Just tell the truth," Kalisha said firmly, handing me a tissue. "Presumably no one has seen you with Dudley before, and anyone with any sense knows what newspapers are like."

"OK," I said between sobs. "Can I take some time out? I'd like to go to the chemist to buy some herbal tranquilisers to help get me through this."

"Good idea!" Kalisha said, handing me another tissue. "Take as much time as you like."

"That's kind," I said, giving her a weak smile. "Thank you."

I put on my coat, grabbed my bag, and dashed into the ladies' toilet where I cleaned my mascara stained face and applied a bit of fresh make-up. Then I pulled up my coat hood and took some deep breaths before walking in to town, feeling as though everyone was watching me. Coat hood practically over my face, I moved nervously around the pharmacy, until I came to the herbal section and picked out some pills which contained valerian and hops and other botanical ingredients. I was hoping they'd calm me down just enough to enable me to continue working for the rest of the day. A security guard watched me suspiciously as I headed toward the counter. I guess it was because I was acting a little strange, but I couldn't help wondering if he'd seen me in the paper.

I crossed the road to Monks department store, rode the escalator to the first-floor café, and waited in a short queue before buying an apple juice to take the pills with. I couldn't have eaten anything, but hoped the sugar in the apple juice might work a miracle and elevate my mood just a little. I opened the bottle of pills. They didn't half stink! My head jerked backwards as the smell assaulted my nostrils. Desperate to feel better, I managed to swallow a couple. As I sat there sipping the juice, I couldn't help wondering what the staff and customers in the café were all thinking: _Dirty little bimbo! Cheap little whore! Gold digger! Fame-seeker! Slag! Slut! Strumpet! Lowlife! Old man shagger!_ I couldn't stop the paranoia – hurtful words kept attacking my brain like missiles.

I'd only just moved to this town, and now it looked as though I may have to move somewhere else, dye my hair green, put on loads of weight and start wearing spectacles so no one would recognize me. I held back tears as I thought how happy I'd felt just a couple of weeks ago. Now the man I liked was seeing one of the ugliest girls I'd ever laid eyes on and everyone thought I was seeing Dirty Dudley. My whole world had collapsed around me. I felt so humiliated. How was I ever going to live this down?

I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone. No texts from Mum – perhaps she hadn't seen the picture yet – or perhaps she was sat there at work in shock, frozen like a statue, staring into space. I decided to phone Kalisha.

"Hi," I said, my voice trembling as I continued to hold back tears. "I don't think I can come back to work. I'm really sorry but I'm handing in my notice."

"Please don't," she said, "The theatre manager and I are setting everyone straight."

"Really?"

"Of course we are."

"Do they believe you though?"

"I'm sure they do. It's going to be fine – I promise you. Besides, it's not every day a girl gets to appear in a national newspaper looking so glam. I'm a bit jealous."

"Thanks," I said before hanging up.

Jealous? It was very sweet of Kalisha to say that, but she was obviously just trying to make me feel better. She'd have been just as mortified as me if a national newspaper had said she was doing it with Dudley, although at least she was in his age bracket. Her husband wouldn't have been too happy though!

So, they were managing to convince the theatre staff, but what about the rest of the town, the rest of the country, the rest of the world? The photo was undoubtedly online being viewed by disgusted people all over the globe. Ugh! The very thought of an affair with that dirty ogre made me want to jump in a bath of pure disinfectant and scrub my skin raw, and now millions of people must be believing it was true and calling me all sorts of filthy names.

I bravely strolled back to work, butterflies in my stomach, still hoping it was all just a very bad nightmare.

I answered one call, convinced the young woman on the other end knew it was me – Dudley's gold digging bimbo. My stomach felt so tight, I couldn't speak properly. I really wasn't up to the job after having the worst shock of my life ever. I burst into tears and Kalisha gave me the rest of the day off. There were less than two hours of the working day left anyway. I took myself off to the recreation ground, not far from the theatre, and strolled around in shock wondering what on earth was going to happen to me now.

After about an hour of pacing the paths, I calmed down enough to think a bit more clearly and decided to text Suki. I sat on a bench, took out my phone and typed: _Help! I don't know what to do. Can we walk to mine after work so you can explain the Dudley photo to Mum? I can't face her_ ☹

I sat there for goodness knows how long staring at my phone, tears prickling my eyes. The fierce autumn wind stung my ears and cheeks. I became so cold that I had to stand up and walk around again, feeling exceedingly sorry for myself. The box office was obviously very busy, because Suki didn't reply until quarter to six.

_Of course!_ came her text. _That's what friends are for_.

_Thank you so much!_ I replied, sighing with relief then bursting into floods of yet more salty tears. _I'll meet you by the entrance to the recreation ground, if that's OK. I don't' want anyone to see me._

No problem! See you just after six.

Suki appeared at the promised time, giving me a sympathetic hug and reassuring me everything would be OK. We hurried through the dark streets in the biting November air, my whole body buzzing with nerves.

When we reached the flat, Mum was sat with her feet up, watching an evening chat show. She turned around, looking delighted to see us.

"Hi girls!" she said. "How's Suki then?"

"OK," Suki said apprehensively. "Have you read any papers today?"

"Haven't had time," Mum replied. "Been too busy selling the damn things. Why?"

I handed the paper to Suki and we slowly sat down either side of Mum.

Mum looked from Suki to me and from me to Suki. "What's happened? You're making me nervous."

"Well," Suki began. "Do you know Dudley Mountain?"

"You know very well I know him," Mum replied. "Has he been arrested for drugs?"

"No. He was taken to hospital today," Suki said nervously.

"Has he died?" Mum asked, sounding shocked, but looking amused.

"Not as far as I'm aware," Suki said.

"What then?" asked Mum.

"There's a picture of him in the paper."

"OMG! Not naked, I hope!"

"No. You know how newspapers don't always tell the truth?"

"Yes, I'm well aware of that," Mum said apprehensively. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"What I'm about to show you is one of those lies," Suki said, opening up the paper.

Mum's eyes widened in shock as Suki turned to page seven and showed her the photo. Then she burst into fits of giggles. "You little minx you. I sold loads of copies of that paper today. Oh my stars, I can't believe this!"

"Yazmin's had the worst day of her life," Suki pointed out, placing the open paper down on the coffee table. "She's been really worried about what you'd think."

Mum threw back her head in laughter. "I'm not surprised. I'd have felt the same if I'd been pictured with that twat, and it's ten times worse for you, coz you're young enough to be his granddaughter! I gather this was taken when you picked him up in the street yesterday."

"I told you about that?" I said, feeling like a huge boulder had been lifted from my shoulders. "Oh gosh – yes I did tell you. The shock must have wiped my memory. So you believe me then?"

Mum couldn't answer, she became hysterical. I couldn't work out whether she was laughing or crying. I think it was a bit of both. Sparkling tears rolled down her glowing face as she gasped for breath.

After what felt like an hour of solid hysterics, she finally said, "Sorry – it's just you hate that man so much – how ironic! Sorry to laugh baby."

I was kind of relieved at her laughter. At least she believed me and didn't think I was having sex with a middle-aged bloke who's face strongly resembled a baboon's bottom!

Suki announced she'd better get home for tea and I walked her part way back. When I returned home, Mum was in the kitchen with her face in the freezer.

"Fancy a veggie burger in a bun?" she asked.

"OK. Thanks."

After managing less than half of my burger, I swallowed down a couple of herbal tranquilisers with as much water as I could take.

Mum watched sadly. "If you need to talk, I'm here to listen."

"Thanks Mum, but I'm too embarrassed. I think I might have to leave my job."

"It'll all blow over. Get your colleagues to set people straight."

"They're already doing that. I just don't think I can face anyone."

"It's a beautiful picture, if you cut Dudley out of it. Perhaps you'll be scouted by a top modelling agency – you do look really stunning."

"Thanks Mum, but I don't want to be a model – all that dieting would kill me. I don't want to end up eating nothing but lemons and lettuce for months on end so I can resemble a skeleton, thank you very much."

"You're right," agreed Mum, hugging me. "I don't want a sickly stick insect for a daughter."

I retired to my room. Thanks to the pongy herbal pills, I fell asleep quickly and managed to get a reasonable amount of sleep, although I did wake a couple of times, heart thumping, as flashbacks of the offending photo assaulted my brain.

Chapter Fifteen

The following week went by in a blur. None of it felt real. Dudley was released from hospital a day after being diagnosed with mild food poisoning, probably caused by consuming a dodgy burger. People continued to point at me and stare and giggle and smirk, but I went to work every day and decided not to hand in my notice. I was glad the evenings were dark at that time of year so I could walk home in a black coat with my hood up and hopefully not be noticed, although I still felt like people were staring and whispering everywhere I went. I decided they were jealous and quickly developed thick skin – I imagined myself covered in skin as tough as rhinoceros hide with fuck you idiots tattooed all over it. This worked well for me.

The customers seemed to get weirder than ever too. Exactly one week after the horrendous newspaper shock, I was sitting at the box office window when a disgustingly snobbish bitch swished into the foyer, nose in the air, looking like she thought she owned the place. What an idiot!

She looked at me disdainfully and said, "I need tickets for _The Mad Dentist_ on January the third."

I tapped the date into my computer. "We have a few left up in the gods," I replied.

"The gods? The _gods_?" she said, practically convulsing. " _People like me don't sit in the_ _gods!_ "

"That's all we have left," I replied.

The stupid bitch looked at me like I was a fly buzzing around her face and asked, "Where's your manager?"

"She's on lunch."

"Get her off lunch then!"

"Come back after two o'clock if you really want to see her. But, as I told you, we only have tickets in the gods."

Kalisha was, in fact, eating at her desk a few feet behind me, but I wasn't going to disturb her lunch for that snobby old slag. What sort of a stinky, dirty old hag would insist I pull someone out of their lunch just because they didn't like the tickets offered to them? Spoiled lowlife scum!

"This isn't anywhere near good enough," the snooty bitch screamed. "I specifically wanted _good_ tickets for that date."

This was the last straw. I'd had a dreadful enough week without listening to idiots like that. How _dare_ the ignorant, thick, vile individual act like that! _Who on Earth did she think_ _she was?_ I decided it was time to put her in her place. My temper shot up like a rocket.

"I _told_ you all the best seats are sold out!" I bawled, rising out of my chair. "What part of sold out don't you understand?"

The dirty snob reeled back in horror, clutching her chest and breathing dramatically. "How _dare_ you talk to me like that!"

"Shut your foul face hole!" I yelled. "Look at you – walking around looking like you've got a bad smell under your nose. Oh, wait a minute! You do have a bad smell under your nose – it's your stinking self! Get out before we throw you out. Go on! _Go!_ "

The old witch ran for the doors, losing a white high heeled shoe on the way, her balance faltered slightly as she bent down to pick it up. Then she fucked off out into the rain.

My heart beat like a galloping racehorse as I turned to Kalisha, who was sat behind me, frozen like a statue, a forkful of salad held mid-air, halfway between her plastic lunch tub and her face. She'd probably been frozen in that position for a good five minutes. I wondered for a moment if she had died and set like that. Images of an ambulance arriving and paramedics throwing a sheet over her, then taking her out still in that frozen position flashed through my head like something out of a horror movie.

Then she dropped her fork and spoke. "Congratulations," she said weakly.

"Congratulations what?" I screamed. "Congratulations you're fired? Congratulations you'll never find another job? Congratulations and goodbye?"

"Just congratulations," Kalisha said, beaming. "We've been dealing with that stuck-up old bottom wipe on and off for years and no one has ever told her straight like that. Yazmin Jones, I think you're wonderful. Many bosses would sack you for this, but I have more sense. I wish there were more people like you."

"Seriously?" I said cautiously, wondering if she was just frightened of me.

"She owns the manor by the Daisy Hills. She's one of those utter and complete idiots who think having money makes them superior."

"Well done Yazmin!" Suki agreed, grinning and throwing her arms around me. "People who think having money makes them superior are the lowest of the low. It's being a nice person which makes you superior."

"Exactly!" agreed Kalisha. "Couldn't have put it better myself!"

"I need coffee!" I gasped, holding onto the box office window bars, feeling a bit lightheaded.

"Coffees all round on me!" Kalisha exclaimed. "I'll go and get them. I'll get them from The Sesame Bap – best coffee in town. I'm buying soya cappuccinos with cinnamon sprinkles."

"Thank you!" Suki and I chorused.

Kalisha pulled on her coat and returned about ten minutes later with three frothy coffees in black paper cups, plus a bag of peanut butter cookies, which we devoured in delight. They were delicious!

"In future," Kalisha declared. "I'm going to make that part of the training – stand up to snobs and educate them. If people keep coming out with bullshit like the customers always right and bowing down to the fools, this world will never change."

"Quite right!" Suki said, her face screwed up in a grin of absolute and total agreement. "You two are great people!"

"Remember though," Kalisha cautioned. "Some bosses would regard that woman's money as valuable and grovel to her and you'd be in big, big trouble."

"The world has to change!" Suki said angrily. Kalisha and I nodded in agreement.

"What if she complains about me?" I asked.

"Don't you worry," Kalisha said softly. "I'll deal with it. She had no more right to talk to you like that than you had to say what you said to her."

"Thanks," I replied.

After work that day, I went to Suki's house. Suki's mum, dad and gran were out. They were having a meal together and then going to the theatre to see _Mothballs_. Suki and I had arranged to spend the evening looking after Max.

As soon as we arrived, rain soaked, we were greeted by the sweet little fella, dancing about and wagging his tail. It was a lovely greeting.

But then I entered the living room and let out a shriek of horror. Hung above the fireplace was an enlarged photocopy of the ghastly photo of Dudley and I, complete with the _Dudley's_ _New Love_ headline. It was surrounded by a gleaming frame which looked as though it was made from twenty-four carat gold. It looked so bloody heavy I was surprised it hadn't fallen down and taken most of the wall with it.

"What's that doing there?" I snapped.

"Great, isn't it?" Suki said. She smiled brightly. "Mum was _such_ a big fan of Dudley when she was younger. My gran liked him too – she really loves that picture! You're a bit of a star in our house."

"A star, eh?" I said, shrugging my shoulders, feeling a weird mixture of disgust and amusement. "I wonder if they'll still be fans after they've seen his awful acting."

"I'm sure they will be," Suki giggled.

"Have they met him yet?"

"Mum's too shy," Suki said. "She prefers to admire him from afar."

"Just as well," I said. "She doesn't want to get too close to that whiffy wanker!"

We found a note on the coffee table informing us Max had been for a walk just before the family left for the meal, which was just as well as rain was now pouring down in sheets.

"I'll show you my new room!" Suki said excitedly, leading me back into the hall and through an internal door to the garage conversion. She switched on the light. "I've painted it. What do you think?"

The walls had been painted a lovely rich velvet red. Suki's single bed stood in the back corner next to a pine wardrobe, and there were half a dozen unpacked boxes scattered around.

"Wow!" I said. "It's wonderful."

"Sexy eh?" said Suki with a cheeky glint in her eye. "My new actor boyfriend will love it!"

My heart lurched. "New actor boyfriend?"

"Yes – when I find one!" Suki said.

I let out one of my embarrassingly loud sighs of relief.

"We can do the tarot readings and stuff in here when I've got it straight – I'm going to buy a little table for two to go in the corner as well as a TV."

"Cool. I'm very jealous!"

She led me back through the house to the kitchen, where we sat down and enjoyed peanut butter on toast and some warm blackcurrant squash. Then Suki left the room for a couple of minutes and returned with a DVD and a white crystal heart necklace.

She put on the necklace. "Sweet, isn't it?" she said. "It's supposed to attract lasting love."

I looked at it and smiled falsely. It was very sweet, but unlikely to be as powerful as Maisie's magic. I was determined to win this actor boyfriend challenge thing.

"Cute!" I said. "Where did you get it?"

"It's a secret!" she said, with a wink. "To help me win the challenge."

I just laughed. A little stone heart on a bit of string was nothing compared to a powerful love spell. I could easily acquire something similar, if I so wished. I actually felt a bit sorry for her and pictured her throwing the novelty necklace into the bin in floods of tears when I gave her the news I'd won the competition. Poor kid!

"I thought you might enjoy this!" Suki said, holding up the DVD which was titled _Pink_ _Hearts and Champagne_. Romantic films were not my thing. I much preferred a good thriller or a nice gory horror, but I didn't want to upset Suki and, besides, the romantic film might give me some useful man catching tips, so I decided to grin and bear it. I sat there for the next forty minutes, bored out of my skull, staring blankly at the screen as Suki drooled over the leading actor – some odd-looking bloke with wiry silver hair and round rosy cheeks. In my eyes, he was almost as disgusting as Dudley – and almost as old.

I was just about to fall asleep and flop off my chair when Suki's gran walked through the door.

"Hi girls!" she said, beaming. Little Max jumped up at her, wagging his tail wildly. "Hello my beautiful boy!" she laughed, stroking his sweetie cutie little brown head.

Startled, Suki looked at her watch. "The play doesn't finish for ages yet. Why are you home?"

"Yes – it's finished," answered Suki's gran.

"It can't be. Where's Mum?"

"I don't know," her gran said, looking concerned.

Suki rushed out through the front door, which her gran had left wide open.

I turned to the old lady and asked, "Did you enjoy the play?"

"Yes, it was very good," she said, nodding her head.

"Why did you leave early?"

She just gave me a puzzled look. I thought she must have wandered off, due to her dementia.

Then Suki and her mum came into the room. Suki was laughing her socks off, but her mum looked livid. "It's not funny!" she snapped.

Puzzled, I looked from Suki to her mum and then back to Suki and asked, "What happened?"

Suki collapsed in fits of laughter as her mum said, "The performance had to be stopped. Dudley fell down through a trap door."

"It was during his mothballs keep my trousers nice speech," Suki screamed through her raucous laughter.

I collapsed on the settee, tears of jollity running down my face. "Poor bastard had just come out of hospital and now he's probably back in!"

"He could have been very badly hurt!" yelled Suki's mum. "He could have died for all we know. The world isn't ready to lose such a talent."

Suki and I screamed and squealed and giggled and laughed uncontrollably, as her mum looked more and more livid. Her gran stood there smiling sweetly, looking more and more confused.

"Poor Dudley," Suki said. "You'd think he had a curse on him or something with all the things going wrong for him – first he falls in the street, then he collapses in the foyer, then he falls through the floor – all within days! Perhaps his stupid Halloween wizard costume put the curse on him." She burst into fits of giggles again.

I felt the blood drain from my face. Cursed? Was it Maisie's magic then? I'd never be able to live with myself if I killed someone. I still failed to see how women kept falling at his feet and calling him talented and wonderful though. In my eyes, he had about as much talent as a stodgy sponge pudding, but didn't look half as appealing.

Not wanting anyone to know about Maisie, I managed to recover my composure, then I turned to Suki and asked seriously, "What do people see in Dudley?"

"He has a certain magic," she sighed. "You must see it, at least a little bit."

"Can't even see a pixel of it," I replied, pulling a face. "Magic, eh? Perhaps he actually is a wizard – perhaps he wears that costume all the time when he's at home."

"You're funny!" Suki laughed.

I didn't find it funny at all. To me, the wizard thing was the most likely explanation I could think of for his undeserved popularity.

Then Suki's mum said she'd better fetch Suki's dad – who had gone to the pub for a stiff drink after the shock of Dudley's steep drop. She took me home on the way.

As soon as I walked in the flat, I told Mum about Dudley. She laughed almost as madly as Suki and I had done and said it had made her night. Then I enjoyed some spicy beans and rice before doing my ritual magic concentrations to grab Ty. I left Dudley out of the spells that night, as I was worried about cursing him further. I then spent hours on the internet – mostly looking at fashion and beauty articles, as well as catching up on all the latest celebrity gossip and comparing famous people's girlfriends to myself.

Chapter Sixteen

At twenty past eleven the next morning, I awoke and opened my curtains to a wet, grey day which didn't bother me at all, as my plan was to stay in and pamper myself with beauty treatments to make me look a million dollars!

After a lazy couple of hours sipping coffee, eating toast and playing games on my phone, I entered my steamy bathroom, plastered my face with a mud mask, and washed my hair with some strawberry scented shampoo which Mum had bought as a little gift to help cheer me up. Such a sweetheart! Then I dried my hair and plucked my eyebrows before sitting down with a healthy carrot and nut salad. I felt fantastic!

Then a text came through from Suki. I dropped my fork in disbelief as I read it.

_I think I've won the actor boyfriend challenge!_ It said.

My heart plummeted like a broken elevator. The day suddenly felt a hundred times greyer. I picked up my phone with shaking hands and typed, _Why?_

_I just got talking to Mick Sterry in the greenroom,_ came Suki's reply. _He asked me out!_

_Oh,_ I replied. _Didn't we look at his house with Mum?_

Yes - block of flats in Bluebell Road.

My mind flashed back to the time we sat in the pouring rain outside the dark and depressing looking block of flats where Mick lived. The thought of them now felt even more depressing, and I was bitterly regretting coming up with the idea of the challenge and staying in it to please Suki when I'd wanted to quit. Why did I let the little bitch persuade me to stay in the competition when I knew I had about as much chance of winning the challenge as winning twenty million pounds on the lottery?

Hands still shaking, I replied, _That's nice - looks like you might win, but we'll see how the date goes._

We really like each other - I think it will go very well.

_Good luck!_ I typed, although I didn't really mean it. I didn't like the look of Mick Sterry anyway. His head was overly large for his body. He actually looked like a big creepy baby with wispy blonde hair. I could never fancy him in a million years. It looked as though Suki might well win this thing now, and it really hurt – especially as I'd spent the last hour or so making myself beautiful and being stupid enough to think positive thoughts. My ridiculous challenge idea had come crashing down on me like a multi-storey car park falling from the sky. Suddenly losing my appetite, I shoved the salad back into the fridge, stomped back to the bathroom, and stared into the mirror, watching tears stream down my devastated face. My chest hurt so bad I thought I might die. I ran to my room, threw myself onto the bed and bawled my eyes out.

At quarter past four, I glanced at my alarm clock through the tears. Mum would be home in about an hour. Not wanting to have to explain my puffy eyes, I took a few deep breaths, splashed my face with cold water and applied some make-up to disguise my pain as much as I possibly could.

I remembered my late gran's favourite saying "There's always light at the end of the tunnel." This made me feel better. Suki only had a date – Mick wasn't necessarily going to become her boyfriend – the date might be a complete disaster. Even if things did work out well for them and Suki did win the challenge, a bloke who looked like a creepy doll from a horror movie wasn't exactly my idea of sex on legs. The challenge had only been created for a bit of fun. I needed to keep my dignity. For all I knew, their futures might be very dismal and mine could be very bright.

At five o'clock, I sat down in my squishy purple chair and opened up a beauty magazine, trying to look perfectly happy, so Mum wouldn't know I'd been upset. I actually had a genuine chuckle when I remembered the little white heart necklace Suki had purchased to help her win. Perhaps it had some terrible curse on it, and that's why it had attracted Creepy Mick!

Mum arrived home slightly earlier than normal, rushing in like a whirlwind.

"Hiya!" I said, jumping in surprise.

Mum smiled and said, "You're looking very glam. Are you going out?"

"No," I sighed. "I've just been experimenting with make-up. Do you think I've overdone it?"

"Not at all – you look beautiful."

"Thanks Mum!" I said, my body straightening up with confidence as my heart filled with a warm glow.

Then she looked a bit apprehensive and said, "I'm going out."

"Oh," I replied, not exactly thrilled at the thought of sitting on my own all evening. "Going somewhere nice?"

"I've got a date."

"Good heavens Mum! Who with?"

"You know Mr. Petropoulos who owns the shop?"

"Blimey Mum!" I screeched, leaping to a standing position. "He must be seventy and he's married, isn't he?"

"Not him – his brother."

"How old's his brother?"

"Younger than he is."

"Sixty-nine?"

"I'm not sure – he's his little half-brother – they have different dads."

"Have you seen a picture of him?"

"No, but Mr Petropoulos wouldn't set me up with him if he thought he was unsuitable. He sounds very sweet."

"Aww! Well, I hope you have a good evening then."

As she left the room to get ready, I felt really down again. Suki had a date, Mum had a date, Tracy had Ty, and I was sat there in my most beautiful make-up about to face the night alone watching TV. How long could I keep putting on a brave face, trying to stay in a positive frame of mind and spending money on silly spells? I felt like such a loser.

Mum showered and got ready lightning fast, but she still looked stunning.

"Have a lovely time, Mum," I said, making a real effort to sound cheerful.

"Thanks sweetie," Mum replied pulling on her best black coat with the shiny gold buttons down the front, "I'll be back by about ten o'clock. Are you going to be OK on your own?"

"Of course!" I said, putting on a happy voice.

As she closed the door, my head sank into my hands and yet more tears fell.

I spent a miserable evening surfing the web for stuff on men and confidence as usual. I didn't learn anything new – I'd probably read hundreds of articles on the subject now, but I was such a hopeless case that none of them seemed to be helping me.

To my surprise, Mum arrived home earlier than expected.

"How did it go?" I asked her.

"I won't be seeing him again," Mum said. "He was very boring – not my type at all and he didn't look much younger than his brother. You were right – he does look well over sixty. What am I going to say to Mr. Petropoulos in the morning?"

"Just tell him his brother's a lovely man, but not really your type."

"I suppose so," Mum said apprehensively. "Yes – I'll just say something like that – no spark between us, etc. Awkward though."

"Do you think he liked you?"

"I've no idea, he was practically too shy to talk. I've never found shy people sexy."

"Oh," I replied weakly.

Was that how men saw my shyness then? Not sexy? Judging by the evidence, that's exactly what they thought – apart from Dudley, who'd probably find a brick wall sexy.

As soon as I went to bed, obsessing over the likelihood of dying a virgin, I located my confidence with men app, switched it on and lay there, but I just couldn't relax. Last time I'd used it, I bounced to work full of confidence only to find out Ty was seeing Tracy, so I now associated the app with deep disappointment and I just couldn't get into it.

Feeling restless, I got up and brewed myself a cup of calming camomile and spearmint tea, then went back to bed, but sleep still didn't come easy.

When it finally did come, I dreamed I'd climbed up a ladder to the roof of a house and couldn't get down again because someone took the ladder away and couldn't hear my cries for help. Then Creepy Mick appeared on the roof. I was trapped up there with him and he was coming towards me. I decided to jump and woke up screaming. My poor mum came rushing in thinking I was being attacked.

Chapter Seventeen

I woke the next morning feeling drained. The events of the past few weeks were really taking their toll now. I guzzled down two cups of black coffee, enjoyed some toast and painted my face. Then Mum offered me a lift to work and I set out to face the day.

Mum and I descended the stairs and were met by three gossiping old women standing by the apartment block exit door.

"Have you heard the news?" said a dark-haired woman in glasses.

"No," replied Mum curiously.

"Mr. Arnold from flat six died in the early hours of this morning – they think it was a heart attack. I saw them take him."

"Oh no!" Mum cried. "That's very sad. Is he the old man with the Spanish wife?"

"Yes," replied the woman. "Eighty-seven he was, but he always seemed fit as a fiddle – he could climb those stairs faster than I could."

"He did seem very sprightly for his age," Mum agreed. "I'm very, very sorry to hear that."

Heads bowed, we left the building, crossed the carpark and climbed into the car.

Mum sat there silent for a moment and then looked at me. "Mr. Arnold lived directly beneath us," she said, breathing heavily. "I heard someone knock loudly around three o'clock this morning and then there were voices."

"Depressing," I said glumly.

"Thing is the knocking and commotion all began around fifteen minutes after you woke me up."

"Don't remind me of that dream Mum – it was awful."

"I know. It's just... Oh, nothing. I'd better get you to work."

As Mum drove us out onto the main street, I suddenly realised what she was trying to say.

"Mum – you're not saying my scream killed him?"

"I did wonder..."

"Oh my gosh!"

"He was pretty old though. If he hadn't kicked the bucket this week, it might have been next week anyway. It's not as though you killed someone of your own age."

"Cripes Mum. I killed someone!"

"We don't really know what happened, but it's best not to breathe a word of this to anyone. If we hear reports of death by blood curdling scream, just act surprised. After all, it wasn't your fault you had a nightmare."

I sat there in disbelief as we waited in a traffic jam. Could my life possibly get any worse? The old man _was_ pretty ancient though. Perhaps it was a mere coincidence he happened to have a heart attack the moment I screamed blue murder within close proximity of him.

I swallowed down a lump in my throat. "I'm not sure I can face work after this," I said.

"You've already had time off with your migraine and the Dudley newspaper shock," Mum pointed out. "Loads of people would love your job – including myself. You don't want to be getting the sack now, do you?"

"No," I replied, as the car stopped outside the theatre.

"Listen love," Mum said, looking at me sympathetically. "I know you've been through a lot recently, but be strong."

"I'm going to have to be," I agreed. "I guess I have no choice."

When I arrived at work, Suki was sat there beaming as usual. "Got my date with Mick today!" she said excitedly.

Oh God - Creepy Mick from my nightmare – the nightmare I'm going to remember for the rest of my days. The nightmare which possibly killed an old man who might even have lived to a hundred-years-old, had I not had that horrible dream.

Suki frowned. "You don't look very happy for me. Jealous?"

"No!" I snapped.

Suki looked shocked and upset.

"Sorry – I've had some not very nice news – the man in the flat below me died in the night."

"So sorry." Suki said.

"It's OK – he _was_ very old. It's just on top of the Dudley shock and everything... Hope you have a great time with Mick, anyway."

"Talking of Dudley," my colleague Dana said, has anyone heard how he is?"

"He's fine," Rose replied. "They checked him over – just a few bruises – a really nasty one on the side of his thigh."

Suki and I looked at each other knowingly.

"How do you know he's got a bruise on his thigh?" Dana asked.

Suki and I waited with baited breath as Rose glowed red and stuttered incomprehensively.

"Only joking!" Dana exclaimed, before breaking into cascades of cackling laughter.

There was an awkward silence for a minute or two until the box office was open for business and the phones began ringing. It was probably the first time in my life I'd been relieved by the prospect of speaking to a load of stuck up toffs to avoid listening to Suki going on and on about Mick. As it turned out, a lot of the customers weren't too bad that morning, although there were a disproportionate amount of Dudley fans raving about how they couldn't wait to see his performance, and how talented he was. I just laughed falsely. I wasn't going to pretend I agreed with them. One old woman called him sexy, which made me wretch. I wanted to shout "Dirty old bag!" down the phone, but I managed to control myself.

Suki's lunchtime came and went and mine was straight after hers. Then she was downstairs on the window and I was in the phone room, so I didn't get to see her for a whole three hours. I spent every minute of it hoping the date had been a disaster.

Just after three o'clock, she appeared in the phone room, looking really happy. I was devastated, but managed to give her a half smile whilst in the middle of a telephone conversation with a spoiled snob. When I told the silly bitch the performance of _A Christmas_ _Carol_ she wanted to see was sold out she said, "I'm very, very, very cross about that. Can you hear me stamping my foot?" It was basically a toddler tantrum. Then she went quiet, expecting me to suddenly say I'd found seats for her. Instead, I slammed the phone down and looked over at Suki who was sat there with both thumbs up, dying to tell me about her lunch date. I stuck a thumb up back at her, although I would rather it had been my middle finger, and then I proceeded to answer one call after the other without a pause. It was good we were busy, as I really didn't want to know about Suki and Mick's date.

I answered my last call five minutes before the box office was due to close. The person on the other end wanted to know what play was on practically every day of the frigging season. I was kind of glad, though, as Suki was stood there grinning waiting to speak to me, so I drew the call out even longer and the conversation didn't finish until ten past six.

"OMG!" Suki said. "What a busy afternoon. I've been _bursting_ to tell you everything. Mick and I had the most fantastic date! Let's go to the pub – I'll tell you all about it!"

"I'm a bit tired after the old man dying on top of everything else," I said. "Oh, and Mum's picking me up tonight."

"That's a great pity," Suki said, sounding severely frustrated. "Oh well..."

Suki and I strolled out of the building. Mum was outside in the car. She rolled down the window and said, "Hi Suki! Would you like a lift?"

"Thank you!" Suki exclaimed, opening the door and hopping into the back seat as I slumped into the passenger seat. The car interior reeked strongly of food.

"How are you both?" asked Mum.

"I'm great!" Suki said. "Yazmin and I were thinking of going for a drink and a chat, but she was a bit tired and you were picking her up so..."

"Come round to ours if you like," Mum said, starting the engine. "I've just been to the Chinese. We can all share a take-away."

Suki jumped at the chance. "Yes please!"

My heart sank. All I wanted to do was go home and soak in a steamy bubble bath. I turned around to Suki. "There might be food waiting for you at home."

"It'll be fine. I'll only have a little of your food – there'll be plenty of room left."

"Oh. OK then."

When we reached the flat, we sat around the dining table. I picked at my share of the take-away, smiling, nodding and laughing falsely as Suki excitedly relayed every detail of her date to us.

"It was great!" she said. "Mick and I went to The Sesame Bap and both ordered smashed avocado. He's really nice – he was born in East London - his parents met when they were hospital cleaners. He has an older brother called Steve, plus a little sister called Nancy, and he's determined to be famous, and he really likes me, and he does voluntary work at a dog shelter, and his parents adopted two of the shelter dogs – Bobby and Joe – really cute dogs – he showed me a photo – no, actually two or three photos. He's asked me on another date – we're going to a club on Saturday night and I'm the happiest I've ever been in the whole of my life and I think I've found my soul mate. Oh, and we both drank coffee and had banana fritter and syrup for dessert. Everything we ordered was exactly the same – see what I mean when I say he's my soul mate?"

How she went on and on, barely taking a breath, I'll never know, perhaps she has a reserve pair of lungs tucked under her ribs, or something hugely gross.

When she eventually shut up, Mum told her about her disastrous date the previous night. Then they both looked at me as though it was my turn to talk, so I shoved a big chunk of satay tofu into my face and chewed slowly.

Then Suki started talking endlessly about her idea of a dream wedding with Mick, planning the whole blessed thing from the bridesmaids to the cake to the honeymoon to the ushers – who were going to be the family dogs – Bobby, Joe and Max. Then she kept on and on about how wonderful he was – Mick this – Mick that – Mick the other.

I spent the whole evening wanting to be somewhere else.

Then Mum declared she had to be up for work early and ran Suki home before returning to the flat, shutting the door and breathing a huge sigh of relief. "I'm absolutely drained and exhausted!" Mum sighed. "Does that girl _ever_ stop talking? I'll have to go straight to bed."

"Me too," I replied.

I managed to get to sleep quite swiftly, but woke several times during the night with awful flashbacks of Suki going on and on and on about Mick; and terrible visions of the old man downstairs hearing my scream, sitting bolt upright in bed, then clutching his chest, gasping for breath.

I woke next morning feeling dreadful and was seriously thinking of terminating my friendship with Suki. The day was bright and sunny, but _I_ didn't feel that way. As soon as I tread through the gleaming glass doors of the theatre, I could hear Suki talking about Mick. I felt like stepping back out into the street, grabbing my phone, and calling in sick, but I couldn't. I didn't want to look jealous, so I put on a big smiley face and bounced into the office like a crazy kangaroo.

Suki looked thrilled to see me. "I'm just telling Kalisha about Mick!" she said.

"I'm so thrilled for you, sweetheart!" Kalisha said, throwing her arms around Suki. "And I'm sure Yazmin's thrilled too!"

"Of course I am!" I lied, still somehow managing the smiley face.

"Now we've got to find someone for Yazmin!" Kalisha said.

"Oh, I'm not all that bothered," I lied, almost sounding as though I meant it.

"There's a party a week on Saturday for Dudley's birthday!" Suki said.

"Oh," I answered.

"At least sound a bit more excited!" Suki demanded, looking at me in puzzlement. "Mick and I are really, really, _really_ looking forward to it."

"I'm not sure what I'm doing that Saturday yet. I might be busy."

"I hope not," Suki said. "Because..." She delved into her handbag and pulled out a big ticket with a cartoon drawing of Dudley's face on it. "We've bought you this. Happy party!"

I wanted to rip the damn thing up. I had a horrid sinking feeling in my stomach as I envisaged standing on the side of the dancefloor like a wilted lettuce leaf, watching all the loving couples, including Suki and Mick and Tracy and Ty, slow dancing together.

I didn't want to appear ungrateful or jealous so I answered weakly, "That's lovely. Thank you both. Where's the party?"

"In the rehearsal room again," Suki said. "Should be a good night!"

_Yes_ , I thought. _A good night for everyone else but me._

I couldn't wait for the day to end. I went home depressed, had an early night, and slept extremely badly.

Chapter Eighteen

The week passed by in a haze of depression. I had further bad luck on the Sunday morning when, still drained by all my troubles, I woke up feeling pretty woozy and in desperate need of caffeine. I drifted to the bathroom like one of the living dead, then I heard a clunk and a splash as my phone fell from my dressing gown pocket into the toilet. I hastily pulled on a disposable glove, shoved my hand down the bowl, and retrieved it. Unfortunately, the screen was just white and blank. It wouldn't work. I sat down on the loo and cried. I felt as though Maisie's magic had actually cursed me. Evil old hag!

I knew I was due for an upgrade within the month, so it wasn't the worst thing in the world. But I still didn't need this on top of everything else.

Mum arrived home from work just after midday and found me curled up in my chair, still in my dressing gown, feeling sorry for myself.

Looking concerned, she bent down beside me and asked, "What's wrong?"

I looked up, miserably. "Dropped my phone down the bog. It won't work."

"Oh no! It's insured though, isn't it?"

"Not worth paying the excess charge – I'm due for an upgrade soon."

Mum's face lit up like a lightbulb. "You can have my old phone for a couple of weeks then, I'm not sure where the charger is, but we can look later. Let's go into town – I was thinking of buying lunch out as a treat, anyway."

My spirits lifted a few feet. "That would be nice. Thank you."

"I'm ready when you are," Mum said, looking into the circular living room mirror and touching up her red lipstick.

I glugged down the remains of my two-hour old coffee, took a speedy shower, dressed, applied a light make-up which enabled me to look vaguely human again, slung on my coat and bag and left the flat with Mum, actually looking forward to going out.

We travelled straight to the shopping mall, where we dined on potato skins loaded with chilli beans.

Mum bought us both a few cosmetic bits at the chemist, then we drove to the local supermarket, nipping into the instore café for an espresso and a pastry each before doing the grocery shop. By the time I'd finished nibbling and drinking, I was on a real sugar and caffeine high and I breezed around the supermarket like a mad thing.

Then we bumped into Suki's mum and gran. Despite her worsening dementia, Suki's gran looked straight at me and exclaimed, "It's Dudley Mountain's girl! You looked so pretty in the newspaper." I couldn't believe it. From what I understood, the old lady kept losing things, putting things in odd places, asking the same questions over and over again, often forgot family member's names and generally remembered very little as far as recent events were concerned. And yet she spotted me from feet away and immediately recognised me as Dudley's girl. _Absolutely incredible!_

Suki's mum laughed awkwardly then said, "Thank you for having Suki to stay last night."

Taken by surprise, Mum and I looked at each other. We didn't know what to say. Suki had certainly not stayed last night. The last time I'd seen her was soon after six o'clock, when we left work. Thankfully, as Mum and I looked at each other, an announcement came over the tannoy, "Due to Sunday trading laws, this store will be closing in fifteen minutes. Please make your way to the checkouts." Hopefully then, Suki's family would think our hesitation was due to the announcement.

"It's a pleasure," Mum said.

"She's always welcome," I added.

"I hope she behaved herself!" Suki's gran said.

"Of course!" I lied.

Obviously, the girl had not behaved herself at all – she'd clearly stayed with Creepy Mick. The thought of him naked made me want to zoom off to Mars and stay there forever.

"You can come and stay at ours when Suki's got her new room straight – we have a spare folding bed," Suki's Mum said.

"It's a lovely room," I answered. "I'll look forward to that."

"We'd better get moving," Suki's mum said, taking the old lady's arm. "We've still got half our shopping to get."

As soon as they were out of earshot, Mum turned to me and asked, "What was that all about?"

"She must have stayed with Mick."

"Exactly. I don't like covering up for people like that – it was very awkward. Didn't the girl even contact you to ask permission to lie about staying with us?"

"I turned my phone off early last night. I knew Suki and Mick had another date and I didn't want to hear her going on and on about it. Then it dropped down the loo. Oh gosh – I need to give her mum my temporary number."

I took the number of the old phone from Mum's diary, scribbled it on the back of a crumpled receipt and dashed off, finding Suki's mum and gran a minute later in the breakfast cereal aisle.

"Dudley Mountain's lady!" her gran shouted. Several shoppers turned around and stared.

Mortified, I pushed the receipt into Suki's mum's hand, explaining my normal phone had been damaged. She smiled and slipped the paper into her coat pocket.

"Give my love to Dudley!" Suki's gran said as I ran like a tiger was on my trail.

When we arrived home, Mum remembered the charger for the old phone was in her bottom dressing table drawer. I plugged it in and sat on my bed, impatiently waiting for Suki to get in touch. We couldn't contact each other via the web, because Mum's crappy old phone couldn't get the internet and my iPad was dead and the charger had seemingly vanished into thin air. After waiting for what felt like hours, a text finally arrived: _Hi!_ _It's Suki._

It took me ages to text back on my frigging dinosaur phone.

Did u stay @ Mick's? I think I covered up when your mum thanked us 4 having u.

Thank you very much. Yes - I spent the night with him.

Did u text me?

Yes - about ten times.

V sorry - phone fell down loo.

Bad timing lol. Thanks for covering - must have been awkward for u.

U could say that!

I owe you one buddy! Aren't you going to ask how my night with Mick was?

Your business.

It was wonderful.

Have to go now \- my spaghetti is burning.

Enjoy your food!

I doubt I will \- it's burned.

Oh, sorry to hear that - hope you have more to cook.

Yes, yes. Bye!

Of course, my spaghetti wasn't really burning. I wasn't cooking anything – I was still full of chilli, coffee and pastries, and was even less hungry now I knew the bloody boyfriend challenge winner had shagged her creepy prize. Angry at thinking of my stupid competition rubbish idea, I threw my trash phone hard at my bedroom door. _It was wonderful,_ Suki had said in her silly text. How sickly! When someone says a play or a book or a day out was wonderful, it sounds fine. When it comes to sex, however, the words just sound truly puke-making.

When Saturday night finally arrived, I found myself quite looking forward to Dudley's party because Rose and Kalisha promised to go with me, so at least I'd be a bit less likely to be standing there on my own like a lemon all night. I knew there was a possibility of Dudley and Rose getting drunk and doing embarrassing things on the dancefloor together, but at least that would be entertaining.

It was a typical Saturday in the box office – horribly busy. At the end of the day, Dudley appeared at my window dressed in his _Mothballs_ costume.

"Hello Yazmin," he said, smiling creepily. "Are you coming to my party tonight?"

"Yes," I answered without thinking.

"That's great!" Dudley replied. He turned and marched away, rubbing his hands together and looking ecstatic.

I buried my head in my hands, wondering why I hadn't lied and said I hadn't made up my mind or something. But, of course, he'd caught me off guard. I hadn't been expecting the lecherous lout to ask.

I arrived home feeling sick. I'd been looking forward to wearing a stunning midnight blue dress I'd bought in a sale. Now, I felt like, when I put it on, I'd look like a present all wrapped up for Dudley's birthday. How could I possibly go now?

Although, initially, I hadn't been keen on the idea of the party, I'd started looking forward to the night out after Kalisha and Rose said they'd go with me. Now I was facing the prospect of a boring night in front of the telly. I was in two minds. If I stayed in, I'd be seriously depressed, but if I went out, I'd be facing Ty and Tracy and Suki and Mick as well as Dudley. Would he be doing his stupid drunken singing with his band again? Was he planning to dedicate a song to me? Would I be humiliated in front of a crowd?

I sat at the dining table, staring at the TV and picking at my noodle stir fry.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for the party?" Mum asked.

"I don't think I'm going," I replied, staring miserably at my food. "Dudley specially asked me if I was going. I think he believes I'm his birthday present."

Mum's fork clanged down into her almost empty food bowl as she looked at me in horror. "Ugh!" she said. "Why do you think that?"

"Well, he came and asked if I was going to the party and looked thrilled when I said yes."

Mum pushed her bowl aside. "Perhaps he's asked lots of people the same question. It is his birthday party."

"Maybe, but there were other people in the office and he didn't ask them."

"Oh," Mum replied, her lip curling in disgust. "That does sound a bit worrying."

"That's why I'm staying in."

"That's a pity for you – you were really looking forward to it this morning. Stick with Mick and Suki and your other colleagues to stop him from pestering you. They'll look after you."

I sat there, silent in thought. She was right – my friends would keep Dudley away. And perhaps I was over reacting. Perhaps he had already asked other colleagues earlier when I was on lunch or something. I still felt sick though. My stomach felt like water swirling down a plughole and it was making funny noises to match.

"I'm not going," I told Mum. "It's been a busy day and I haven't been sleeping well. I need an early night."

I skulked to my room, removed my make-up and went to bed. I lay there depressed, unable to sleep. I was missing out on all the fun and my colleagues would be arriving soon, wondering what had happened to me.

I picked up my crappy little phone and texted Suki: _Not going - ill._

Her reply came back immediately: _Really sorry to hear that. What's wrong? Can't you take pills?_

No.

That's a real shame. Get well soon. If you feel better later, come along.

That won't be happening. Goodnight.

Night sweetie. Sad you can't come.

I pulled my duvet over my head and cried.

Then Mum knocked on my door and peeped in.

"WHAT?" I snapped.

"I can give you a lift and pick you up if you decide to go. I've got the day off work tomorrow."

Then something inside me lit up like a beacon and I began smiling inwardly. "I'll think about it," I said.

The moment she closed the door again my mind was made up.

"Mum!" I yelled. "OK then. Can you take me in about half an hour?"

"Of course, sweetheart."

I sprang out of bed, showered, put on my most beautiful make-up and slipped into my midnight blue dress, which fit my curves like a glove. If that damned spell was going to work, it should be in full force tonight. Ty might have split up with Tracy for all I knew, and I wanted to be there, looking my absolute best.

As I entered the living room and told Mum I was ready to go, she gasped, "Wow! My own daughter – the most beautiful girl in the world!"

I laughed. "That's a compliment and a half Mum!"

"It's true."

"Thank you Mummy!" I said, beaming as I put on my best black jacket and slipped the party ticket into my purse.

Chapter Nineteen

The party was already in full swing when I arrived. Dudley was the first thing I saw. He was wearing black leather trousers, which wasn't the nicest sight, but at least he seemed to have started wearing some different clothes in the last few weeks – thank goodness! He wore a navy shirt and a black leather biker jacket and was stood chatting up the pretty young redhead from wigs and make-up, she looked extremely uncomfortable. I crept around the back of them, hoping he wouldn't see me.

Then my heart plunged as I spotted Ty with Trashy Tracy. They didn't see me – they were too busy gazing into each other's eyes. She was wearing a scrappy looking grey dress. She didn't look a patch on me. Then I spotted Rose and Kalisha and made a beeline for them. They looked more than a little tipsy as they both grinned at me.

"You took your time," Rose said. "We thought you weren't coming."

"I almost didn't," I replied. "I don't think I'll stay long."

"Where's Suki?" asked Kalisha.

I looked around the crowded room. Suki and Mick weren't there.

"Send her a text," said Rose. "We don't have her number."

I reached into my bag, pulled out my phone and tapped away at the archaic keyboard.

I made it to the party. Where u?

_I can't come_ , came the shock reply. _I want to die._

What?

Mick's a monster.

Eh?

He has a temper. I really thought he was going to kill me.

Did he hit u?

No - but scared me badly.

Where r u?

Just got home.

Sick of struggling to type on my blinking museum piece, I stepped out of the room and phoned her.

"Hiya," Suki sobbed down her phone.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I don't know. One minute we were driving to the party getting on fine, then he flipped like someone had flicked a switch and he completely changed. He called me annoying. Then he speeded the car up and went on to the motorway driving at ninety miles an hour, screaming abuse at me. I _really_ thought we were going to crash. I was _sure_ I was going to die."

"Oh Suki. He sounds mad!"

"He is."

"I hope you've told him it's over."

"Not yet. I didn't want to risk him going crackers again. It is over though. I can do better than that."

"A million trillion times better. He looks like a bloody horror doll baby freak anyway. Come to the party."

"He might be there."

"There's no sign of him yet. Anyway, we'll all protect you. You've been looking forward to tonight."

"I'm very shocked. I'm really not sure..."

"I'm not surprised. Would you like me to come and see you?"

"I don't want to ruin your party. I've just made myself some hot sweet tea. I'll see how I feel in a bit." She hung up.

I returned to my colleagues and explained the situation. They were both horrified.

About twenty minutes later, Rose gasped and pointed towards the door. I turned around and there was Mick casually strolling up to the buffet table, smiling at everyone like nothing had happened.

"I'm going to give that jerk a piece of my mind!" Rose screamed.

"Me too!" growled Kalisha.

"Me three!" I said. Then I ground my teeth so hard I nearly broke one.

My middle-aged colleagues guzzled down two glasses of wine each, psyched themselves up and then rushed aggressively toward Mick. I followed them.

Mick reeled back in horror as I shook my fist at his big fat head.

"What's up with you?" he asked, his lip curling into a sneer.

" _What's up with me?_ " I yelled. " _What's up with you?_ "

"Nothing's up with me. Calm down bitch!"

I felt hot from head to toe with anger. "Don't you tell _me_ to calm down!"

"We heard about the motorway drama!" Kalisha said, glaring at him.

"Oh," he said. "Well she shouldn't be so annoying."

"Suki is _not_ annoying," Rose said angrily. " _You're annoying!_ "

"Whatever!" Mick said, holding both arms in the air as though we were aiming guns at his stocky little body.

"Stay away from Suki – she's too good for a jerk like you!" Rose yelled, as he walked away.

"Yeah," I added. "You alien headed scumbag freak!"

Mick headed for a group of drunken actor friends. Within five minutes, he'd started eyeing up some weird girl who looked like a vampire, then he made a beeline for her.

"Halloween party's been and gone," laughed Kalisha. "Looks like they've turned up a few weeks too late!"

"They look well suited," I remarked. "They could make a horror movie together. In fact, I've got a title for it already – _Scumbag Freaks!_ "

Rose and Kalisha laughed in agreement. They laughed even harder when they saw his face fall as the girl rejected him.

I suddenly found myself thinking about the day of Suki and Mick's first date, when Suki had come to our flat talking nonstop and planning every detail of a wedding. Perhaps she'd been doing the same to him when they were in the car. I could now see why he'd called her annoying – she'd probably wound him up badly. Still, that was no excuse for putting the girl in such a dangerous situation.

Then Suki appeared. Her eyes were swollen from crying, so she'd plastered her face in make-up in an attempt to look better, but she now looked like she'd had some horrendously bad facelift job. Poor kid. I threw my arms around her.

Her little face lit up like a beacon. "I'm not going to let dastardly Mick ruin one more second of my life," she said, smiling gently.

She grabbed my hand, pulled me onto the dancefloor, beckoned Kalisha and Rose over and began bopping about. Kalisha and Rose started dancing straight away but, as usual, I was a bit slow to get enough confidence up to start moving. Then _I Will Survive_ by Gloria Gaynor began playing - so appropriate for Suki after tonight's events, and then I really got into it – the four of us danced and sang to the song with the whole room watching and clapping. I was confident pervy Dudley wasn't staring as he'd disappeared – probably wandered off with some floozy.

After a wild time dancing, we grabbed some snacks and drinks from the buffet table and stood at the side watching everyone else.

Then Dudley appeared again with some strange dreadlocked black man in a baseball cap. The mystery bloke had his head at an odd angle like he was trying to hide his face. He also had a dark scarf over his nose and mouth – very odd. Was Dudley harbouring some escaped criminal? As I nibbled my pretzels and peanuts, they stood there together chatting. The odd guy continued to look sideways at the floor, but Dudley appeared to be looking in my direction all the time. I got the distinct impression they were talking about me, which I found very sinister. What the _hell_ were they saying?

Then the pair of them began walking in my direction, the odd bloke still looking at the ground nervously. Now I was nervous too. As they neared me, the man removed the scarf from his face, pushing it downwards so it was hanging from his neck, then he looked directly at me. Suddenly realising who the mystery man was, I gasped. Then everything went black and my legs gave way.

"Yazmin's fainted!" I heard Suki shout.

Chapter Twenty

When I came round again, I was lying on the floor by my paper plate amongst a scattering of peanuts and pretzels. Then I looked up and saw the man again, leaning over me. It was unmistakably him – my favourite rap artist, Nutty Bonkers. His sexy face creased with concern. A million thoughts encircled my spinning head as I looked into his big dark eyes. Had Dudley spiked my drink? Was I tripping? Had I died and gone to heaven? Had I received a blow to the head? Perhaps the past few weeks had all been too much for me and this was what they called a nervous breakdown. Any of those things were possible.

Then Nutty's gorgeous face was eclipsed by a much less welcome sight as Dudley leaned across him and asked, "Are you alright?"

Of course I wasn't alright. I'd just been having the most stunning hallucination ever, until Dudley got in the way and ruined it.

I didn't answer him.

The watching crowd began taking pictures with their phones.

Then Nutty's face appeared again and I stared back at him, unable to speak.

Nutty and Dudley lifted me and helped me onto a chair, every eye in the room upon us, then Rose brought me a glass of water. My hands were all shaky and numb, so she had to hold the glass for me. I drank very messily, water sloshing down my beautiful dress, the whole room still watching, people still taking pictures.

I looked at Nutty again. Out of the blue, I suddenly stopped feeling so overawed. There was something about him which inspired a strange confidence from somewhere deep within me. It was the oddest experience ever.

"Nutty!" I exclaimed.

"Yazmin!" he said, gazing into my eyes.

"Oh Nutty!" I sighed, gazing back.

Then Dudley rudely interrupted us, "Nutty saw our picture in the paper. He's been pestering me to meet you ever since. Keeps calling you his dream girl."

I stared at Dudley, wondering if I'd heard him right. Nutty Bonkers had been calling me his dream girl? His heavenly posters had adorned my walls since I was fifteen. This couldn't really be happening, could it?

Nutty pulled up a chair and sat beside me, smiling nervously.

"I can't believe it's you," I said. "I've been a huge fan since the day I first heard _Madman_ _in a Bunny Costume_. It's still my most favourite tune ever."

He looked surprised. "You're kidding me!"

"No. Why would I? I was in this very room skanking to _Witch Babe_ at a Halloween party a few weeks ago."

"Wow Yazmin," he said, in a shaky voice. "This is so cool!"

"I know. It's like some mad fairy tale."

"Mad Fairy Tale – good title for a tune. I might just write it!"

"I must be dreaming," I sighed.

"Listen, could I...?" he said nervously. "I mean... Would you mind if...? Never mind."

"What?"

Dudley interrupted us again. "He's a little nervous with beautiful girls. He'd like your number."

"You _really_ want my number? Of course you can have it!" I reached into my bag and pulled out my embarrassing phone. "This is just a temporary phone till I get an upgrade – my best one fell down the loo. I don't know the number so can you text yourself with it?"

"Sure!" he replied.

I noticed his hands were visibly shaking as he tapped his number into my phone. He reminded me of myself. It seemed the man could perform energetically in front of crowds, and yet was all jittery when talking to me. I wasn't the only person who was seriously shy around people I fancied – one of them was my favourite star – and my favourite star was shaking in my company! In fact, this was the first time I'd ever talked to a man and been more confident than he was!

"How do you know Dudley?" I asked.

"I've known him for years – he co-wrote some of my material with me – including your favourite." Nutty's voice still shook. His beautiful stomach was obviously tied up in knots.

I was completely taken aback. "Dudley Mountain co-wrote _Madman in a Bunny_ _Costume?_ "

"Yeah – the title was his idea. He's got a great sense of humour, you know."

"Really?"

I'd read loads about Nutty – I knew he was three years older than me. I knew he was born in Brixton, and that he had a brother and sister. I knew all his songs and what schools he'd attended and everything. But I had no idea Dudley, of all people, co-wrote some of his best tunes.

I was beginning to see Dudley in a different light now. He'd invited my favourite star to his party and introduced him to _me!_ And to think I'd even purchased a spell to keep Dudley away! Then I thought about the love spell. Perhaps the spell had actually worked – maybe it had brought the real man of my dreams to me. How many people in their lifetime meet their favourite star in the way I'd met Nutty tonight? Not many! I'll never know if magical unseen forces were at work here. Dudley already knew Nutty after all and Dudley knew me too – it probably had nothing to do with Maisie then, but the night was undoubtedly the most magical night of my life so far.

I caught Dudley smiling, as he observed how well Nutty and I were getting on together. It seemed that perhaps a glimmer of sweetness was there, buried somewhere beneath the promiscuity and the slovenliness.

Then Nutty said he was tired as he'd been in the recording studio all week, and that his car was parked at Dudley's place. I think he partly wanted to get away because he felt he was making a fool of himself. He asked how I was getting home. I felt a bit embarrassed about saying my mum was picking me up, but I didn't have enough money for a taxi, so I told the truth.

"That's great!" Nutty said, his beautiful dark eyes twinkling. "I'd love to meet your mum."

"And she'd love to meet you," I said. "She's a fan too."

"That's awesome! Well, I guess I'd better tell Dudley we're leaving."

He made his way to Dudley, who now had his arms around Rose.

Suki smiled at me. "I don't suppose..." she began.

"Of course we'll give you a lift too!" I said, hugging her.

Poor Suki might have won the challenge, but it looked as though I could well be the biggest winner in all this with Suki's poor little heart broken, and me potentially in a relationship with my favourite star!

I phoned Mum, but there was no reply.

Nutty returned, and I apologised for the fact I couldn't reach her.

"That's OK," Nutty said gently. "I'll give you both a lift."

As Nutty and I linked arms and moved through the crowd, I saw Tracy narrowing her eyes at me jealously. OMG! That was the golden cherry on top of the sparkling cake!

We caught a cab to Dudley's place. Parked in the driveway was Nutty's car – a sporty black VW Polo. Very nice, but a few years old and not the flashy car I'd imagine him driving.

When we reached the flat, I placed my key in the lock and flushed red with embarrassment as we stepped through the door. Mum was drunk and playing my favourite Nutty Bonkers tune, which wouldn't have been so bad, but she was making up her own words!

She'd changed the words from "Madman in a Bunny Costume," to "Stupid Bastard in a Straightjacket."

Suki, Nutty and I froze as we stepped into the hall. Then Mum turned around and stared at us.

"This vodka is something else!" she exclaimed. "I can actually see Nutty Bonkers stood between you both – it must contain drugs!" She hiccupped loudly, before continuing with the tune. "Stupid bastard in a straightjacket! Stupid bastard in a straightjacket!"

"Mum!" I cried. "It _is_ Nutty – we met him at the party."

"Shut up – it isn't!" she said, plopping back down on the settee.

We cautiously entered the room as Mum turned around and rose to her feet again.

"I can still see him!" she said, staggering about as she tried to fully focus on his face. She moved closer, held out her hand, touched his jacket, and breathed, "Oh my stars - it is him!"

"Have a coffee Mum!" I said, as she collapsed on the floor in shock. "I'll make you a decaf."

"Sorry Nutty," Mum said, her speech pretty slurred. "I don't normally make my own words up..."

"It's fine," he politely replied, now sounding more like the famous and more confident Nutty I'd been a fan of for so long. "I like creative people – perhaps you can write my next tune with me."

"Did you hear that?" Mum said with a grin. "I'm writing his next tune with him! We can name it after me – Lorraine."

"Pretty name," Nutty said. "Now let's see. What rhymes with Lorraine?"

"Insane," I said.

"Watch it – cheeky!" Mum said. "I've got a better one – champagne!"

I hurried to the kitchen, then rushed back with a tray of steaming decafs. Overawed by Nutty's presence, and still traumatised by her hellish trip with Mick, Suki was unusually quiet, but Mum was louder than ever.

"It's very late!" she boomed. "Why don't you both stay here? Nutty can sleep with me!"

"Mum!" I screamed, feeling embarrassed by her behaviour.

"Keep your voice down!" Mum cried – you don't want to kill another neighbour."

Nutty choked on his coffee. "Kill another neighbour?"

"She screamed in the night and killed someone!" Mum exclaimed.

Wide eyed, Suki and Nutty turned to me, waiting for an explanation.

I swallowed hard. "The old man downstairs died. I didn't do it."

Nutty looked seriously frightened.

"You told me the old man had a heart attack," Suki said nervously.

"I had a nightmare and screamed. Mum believes my scream gave him the heart attack. But he was very old."

"I think I'd better be going," Nutty said, putting his coffee down. "I'll call you."

He hurried out the door. I anxiously followed him down to the carpark.

"Mum doesn't drink very often," I said. "She can be a bit mad, but she's lovely most of the time. I hope she hasn't put you off."

"Nothing could put me off you Yazmin," he said, leaning forward to kiss me.

The kiss didn't happen. Just as our lips were about to touch, Mum came staggering across the carpark shouting, "You forgot your car key, Mr. Bonkers!"

"Thanks," he said, as he took the key from Mum. "Must have dropped it."

"I know your sort," Mum said. "You dropped it so you could return for it when Yazmin was asleep and sneak into my room. Naughty boy!"

Nutty forced a false laugh. "I'll call you," he whispered in my ear.

"Can't wait!" I said softly, gazing into his beautiful dark eyes.

Nutty climbed into his car and sped away. Mum and I waved goodbye and returned to the flat.

Suki slept on our sofa for the night and I lay awake, ecstatic, not quite able to believe the events of the evening. My favourite star had picked _me!_ I kept looking at his number – he'd programmed it into my phone. Afraid the phone might break or get lost, I switched on the light, wrote his number in my diary and then on three separate pieces of paper which I placed around the room – one under my pillow, one in my bottom drawer and one tacked to his largest poster. I switched off the light and lay there grinning like some crazy lady, until my face started aching and anxious thoughts began to bombard my brain. Nutty was a friend of Dudley's – had he asked me out for a bet? Had this been done to get back at me because the aging rocker knew I couldn't stand him? Were they just having a laugh? But then I thought again how sweet and nervous Nutty appeared to be. He appeared to really, really like me. I just had to hope he wouldn't lose his nerve or change his mind and fail to phone me.

I eventually managed a couple of hours sleep after becoming content with the fact that at least I'd met him and he liked me. Even if I never saw him again, I'd have the wonderful memory for the rest of my life. Knowing Nutty liked me was also likely to give my confidence a huge boost, especially my confidence with men.

Chapter Twenty-One

My life didn't feel quite so glamorous the next morning, when I woke up to the sound of Mum puking. I crawled out of bed to find her throwing up in the bathroom sink with the door fully open.

I gave her a look of sympathy before making my way to the kitchen to brew myself an espresso. I just about managed to gulp it down before Mum shouted for help.

"Please get me back to bed!" she croaked weakly.

I helped her across the hallway as she held her sore head. "That coffee smelt nice," she said, looking at me with glazed, bloodshot eyes. "Do you think you could make me one?"

"Won't you just throw it back up?"

"I'm craving it."

"OK then."

"And toast with blackcurrant jam – I need something sweet."

"OK Mum."

"Two slices and some painkillers. Thanks."

I helped her into bed before preparing and delivering breakfast to her room. She ate it, threw up again, and fell back to sleep.

Then I looked in on Suki who lay there sleeping contentedly. I got the impression she'd slept through the whole commotion.

I took a quick shower before plastering my face in my best make-up - just in case Nutty showed up. I dressed in my coolest casual outfit – my blue Adidas sweatpants and hoodie.

About an hour passed before I looked in on Suki again. This time, she was wide awake and speaking on her phone. "Yes Mum – I'm fine. I'll see you in a bit." She turned to me and grinned. "Was last night a dream?"

"Hope not," I answered, grinning back.

"Your favourite star!" she said. Despite the fact she'd had such a bad time, she still looked genuinely delighted for me.

I frowned. "Sorry about Mick."

"I'm fine," she said. "I'm hoping Nutty might fix me up with one of his famous friends!"

"Maybe!" I answered. "Last night proved you just never know what's around the corner. Twenty-four hours ago, neither of us had any idea..."

"Amazing, isn't it?" Suki said sweetly.

"I know! Coffee and toast?"

"Yes please!"

Suki joined me in the kitchen whilst I made breakfast. "Has he texted you yet?" she asked.

"Not yet," I replied. "Hope he isn't having second thoughts."

"I doubt it. He's totally smitten with you. I could tell."

"Like a fairy tale, isn't it?"

"Sure is. Lucky girl!"

The coffee brewed, the toast popped up and we devoured our breakfast with delight. We were just heading toward the lounge when my phone rang – a London number.

"OMG I'm nervous!" I said. "Can you answer it?"

"Don't be silly!" Suki replied. "Pick it up before it goes to answerphone – he's probably more nervous than you are."

I pressed answer with a trembling hand and breathed, "Hello."

"Hello Mary!" said an old man's voice on the other end.

"Oh," I replied. "I think you've got the wrong number."

He read out the number he believed he'd dialled. I hadn't a clue whether or not it belonged to this dinosaur phone, but it didn't sound familiar. "Sorry – you must have misdialled," I said.

"Very sorry to disturb you," he replied before hanging up.

My hand was shaking so much I dropped the phone. Thankfully, it didn't break.

Then Mum appeared, shielding her eyes from the daylight. "My head's still bad," she said, walking unsteadily into the lounge.

Suki and I followed her. I felt dreadful – that phone call had tied my stomach into knots because I'd really believed it was going to be Nutty.

Mum switched MTV on just as an Eminem tune was ending, and then Nutty Bonkers came on with his _Witch Babe_ video. It was horribly embarrassing watching him grinning at this woman as she wiggled her big butt near his face.

"Nutty!" Suki said, clapping her hands.

"I'm sure I dreamed about him last night," Mum said. "I had some strange dreams."

Suki and I burst out laughing.

"He was here!" Suki said.

"How do you know?" Mum asked. "Have I already told you about the dream?"

"It wasn't a dream – he was actually here Mum."

"Shut up!" Mum replied. "Stop messing with my mind – I've got a headache."

"He was!" Suki said. "Yazmin and I came in and you'd been drinking and you said there must be drugs in the drink because you could see Nutty standing between us. Then you touched his jacket and collapsed. Then you found his car key and followed him and Yazmin to the carpark. In fact, I have proof." She grabbed her phone off the coffee table.

I reeled back in horror as she showed Mum the pics of Nutty and I together, water sloshed all down my dress from when Rose had brought me the drink. Nutty looked gorgeous, as always, but the pics of me weren't too flattering. _Oh heck_ , I thought. _I look awful. I bet he's_ _having second thoughts_.

"OMG!" Mum said, staring open mouthed at the pictures. "And then you brought him here?"

"Yes," I said. "When we first walked in you were making up your own daft words to _Madman in a Bunny Costume_ , and he heard you!"

Mum looked horrified. "Oh heavens," she said, placing her aching head in her hands. "Not stupid bastard in a straightjacket?"

"That's the one!"

"I'm mortified!" Mum said, looking as though she was about to start puking again.

"He liked it," I said reassuringly. "He called you creative for making your own version up – said you can write his next tune with him."

"Sounds like he was being polite to spare me the embarrassment."

"He's in love with Yazmin!" Suki said, placing her hand on her heart. "Dudley introduced them last night. Apparently, she's his dream girl – he'd seen her in the newspaper."

"You're joking!"

"She isn't. He took my number. I'm really nervous waiting for the call."

"He's a famous MC," Mum said, half laughing. "Probably has at least ten bitches – he'll get round to you eventually, I guess."

"Bitches?" I said in shock. "That's a nice way to refer to your daughter!"

"As I said, he's an MC. He's always rapping about bitches and money – you've heard his lyrics."

"Just words!" Suki said. "Yazmin means a lot to him – I could tell."

"He's only just met her."

"Yes, but he really likes her."

My heart sank down to the basement - four floors below our flat. It was true – he was always rapping about this bitch and that bitch and how much dosh he had in the bank. Was it just lyrics, or would I be one of many? Perhaps Dudley had introduced him to each and every one of them. Just my bloody luck to get with a right bastard, even if I had been in love with him for three years and always wanted to meet him. I began to wonder if I was setting myself up for a truck load of heartache. Would I be ripping his posters from my walls in tears and deleting all his songs off my iPod three months from now? His lyrics about Chanice – the black beauty with the lusciously round butt, and Melanie – the hot redhead with the biggest tits north of the equator, rushed through my head like a bloody underground train. Was he with both bitches at this very moment? I suddenly felt very jealous and horribly sick.

Suki was watching my face. "Not every famous person sleeps around," she said. "The man's in love!"

"Just be cautious," Mum said firmly.

Then my phone rang again. I looked down and saw a name on the screen – Nutty!

Chapter Twenty-Two

I stared at my phone, breathing so hard it practically sounded like an asthma attack.

Concerned, Suki took the phone off me and answered it. "Hi Nutty! No – this isn't Yazmin – it's her friend Suki. She's a little nervous, so I answered for her. I hope you don't mind." She handed the phone to me. "He's just as nervous as you," she said.

I put the phone to my ear and slowly said, "Hi."

"Hi," came the reply. He sounded so beautiful.

"Alright?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied.

Then there was silence as our nerves brought the conversation to a halt. I froze and looked at Mum and Suki.

"Perhaps you should both text to begin with," Suki suggested.

I wasn't too keen, because of the speed it took to text on my bastard phone, so I didn't say anything.

"I'll speak to him for you," Mum said, practically snatching the phone from me.

"Hi. This is Yazmin's mother," she said. "Hello? Hello? He hung up on me!"

"Mum!" I breathed. "You must have frightened him."

"Me frighten Nutty Bonkers? You're kidding me!"

Suki walked me to my room and closed the door. "Let's text an apology – fast!" she said.

"Say something like sorry – Mum has a bad hangover."

"OK," I agreed.

Suki tapped away. "I hate this thing!" she said. "Let's use my phone."

I was a bit worried about using her phone because then Nutty would have her number. What if they fancied each other? My life would come to an end if his next song was titled Super Sexy Suki. It would be just my luck though.

"I don't know what to put!" I cried, my mind a blank.

"I'll write stuff and you approve it before I send it," Suki said.

"Thanks," I said, agreeing because she knew how to use her phone better than me, plus my hands were shaking like I had some tragic brain disease.

With my full approval, the text conversation went as follows:

_Sorry about Mum - she has a hangover._ _She didn't mean to frighten you._

Frighten me? LOL. Signal cut out.

Oh. OK. How's your day going?

OK thanks.

I can't believe I've just met you!

I know.

I looked at Suki. "Oh dear! This is difficult."

"I know," Suki agreed. "This is bloody hard work. Should I ask him for a date?"

"I'm not sure!"

"I have a feeling he might never pluck up the courage to ask you the way this conversation is going. May as well do it."

I swallowed hard. "Oh cripes. OK then."

Suki coughed into her hand then typed, _Can't wait to see you again._

Me neither.

Where and when?

I'm making a video in a couple of weeks' time. Perhaps you and your mum and Suki would like to be in it?

Suki and I looked at each other excitedly. Then Mum's words echoed through my head. "Probably has at least ten bitches – he'll get round to you eventually, I guess." Why was he putting the meeting off for two weeks? Was he booked up, as far as women were concerned?

Suki continued typing. _Video? Fantabulous! We'll be there!_

Great!

Two weeks is a long time, though. Are you busy every day beforehand?

My heart practically stopped as I waited for his answer. We waited and waited. Was he looking through his bitch booking diary?

Then the reply finally came: _Tomorrow?_

Yes!

Lunch?

Yes!

Great!

Actually - no \- sorry - almost forgot I'm working till six o'clock.

I'll pick you up from your place about half-past seven then, if that's OK.

Look forward to it!

I'll need your postcode for my satnav.

No prob! Which song are you making this video for?

Oh, it's called Fun!

Sounds like... er... fun! See you tomorrow.

Cool.

We sent him my postcode then squealed and hugged each other.

" _Fun_!" Suki said. "Sounds like a good omen."

"I hope so."

I ran back into the lounge, grinning. "He's invited us to be in his next video, Mum – including you. It's called _Fun!_ "

"I can well imagine," Mum replied.

"Don't worry," Suki said. "I don't think he'd invite you to be in it if it was about sexy fun."

"Charming!" Mum snapped. "Too old?"

"Not at all! I just mean because you're Yazmin's mum."

"Fair enough," she said, mellowing. "Well – we'll soon find out, won't we? It's not every day you get to be in a Nutty Bonkers video. It'll be a laugh to be on telly and stuff. Never been on telly before. When is it? I hope we're not all at work."

"I'll find out," I replied. "I'm seeing him tomorrow."

"Wow!" Mum said with a smile. "My daughter and Nutty Bonkers. Incredible!"

"Isn't it fantastic?" Suki said. "Well, I guess I'd better be going now," She picked up her coat. "See you at work tomorrow."

"See you!" I said excitedly.

"Thanks for letting me stay!"

"Pleasure!" Mum said. "You're always welcome."

I spent the rest of the day floating on air, not able to believe my luck. Yesterday had begun like any other day and ended like a dream. I couldn't wait for tomorrow. It's amazing how life can change so much in just one day. And to think I almost didn't go to that party!

About the Author

Candy J. Moon grew up in Saltburn-by-Sea and Stratford-upon-Avon. She has worked in a library, a theatre, a café and various offices. Candy loves nothing better than to spend time writing glittering stories to bring a little special magic into the lives of those who read them.

Thank you for reading my book. If you enjoyed it, please take a moment to leave me a review at your favourite retailer.

Thanks!

Candy J. Moon

Website: candymoonmagic.wordpress.com

Twitter: Candy J. Moon @CandyMoonMagic

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Other Books by this Author

Magic Stone Hunt series

The Magic Rainbow Stone

Spooky House of Games

Magic Potion Quest

Stage Door series

Crazy Mad Life

