

Relationship With God:

Faith & Prayer

By

Jesus (AJ Miller) &

Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck)

Session 4

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2016 Divine Truth

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This ebook is a transcript of a seminar delivered by Jesus (AJ Miller) and Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck) on 23rd June 2013 in Murgon, Queensland, Australia, as part of the Relationship with God series. In this seminar Jesus and Mary describe what truth, will and humility feel like, the science of prayer, and how to engage prayer. This seminar follows on from "Relationship with God - Faith and Prayer Session 1", "Relationship with God - Faith and Prayer Session 2" and "Relationship with God - Faith and Prayer Session 3".

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Table of Contents

Faith & Prayer Session 4 Part 1

1. Introduction

2. Five primary qualities that are essential for soul growth

3. What humility feels like

3.1. Speaking truth with humility

4. What truth feels like

4.1. Divine Truth never compromises

4.2. Divine Truth never forces itself

4.3. Divine Truth results in freedom

4.4. Sharing truth in a partner relationship

4.5. Speaking truth with humility (continued)

4.6. Being direct and firm with truth

4.6.1. An example of AJ and Mary's relationship

4.7. Truth is attractive

4.7.1. An example of AJ and Mary's relationship

4.8. Divine Truth builds upon itself

4.9. Divine Truth is powerful and strong

5. What will feels like

6. The five primary qualities that are essential for soul growth are feelings

6.1. An example of feeling will

7. Having faith in error

7.1. An example of AJ previously having faith in avoiding the experience of emotions

7.2. An example of Mary's interactions with the media

7.2.1. Interactions with David Millikan from Channel 7

7.2.2. Placing guidelines for subsequent media interactions

7.2.3. Engaging the media reluctantly

7.2.4. Interactions with the media from New Zealand

7.2.5. Mary's wardrobe choice for the interview with the New Zealand media

7.3. Having faith in error prevents prayer

8. Prayer requires a development of love, will, humility, faith and a desire for truth

8.1. Examining personal growth

9. The science of prayer

9.1. Receiving Divine Love is dependent upon our will

9.2. Prayer creates more humility

9.3. Developing a sincere longing for God's Love

9.3.1. An analogy of a child wanting a lolly

10. Prayer requires a development of love, will, humility, faith and a desire for truth (continued)

10.1. Developing the five qualities rather than focusing on addictions

10.2. Developing the five qualities are essential for growth

10.3. Fear prevents the development of the five qualities

Faith & Prayer Session 4 Part 2

11. The science of prayer (continued)

11.1. God communicates through love

11.1.1. Divine Love transforms the human soul

11.1.2. Prioritising our relationship with God and our soulmate

12. Audience questions

12.1. God's Love cannot be lost once it is received

12.2. Determining truth through a relationship with God

13. The science of prayer (continued)

13.1. Prayer opens the soul to God's Love

13.1.1. The message about soul opening in the prayer given to James Padgett

13.1.2. God influences operations around us to encourage the opening of our soul

13.2. Prayer is a longing to give and receive love

13.3. God is perfect in giving and receiving love

13.3.1. An example of a participant who feels unable to give love to God

13.4. The benefits of focusing on developing love between ourselves and God

13.4.1. Experiencing ever expanding growth

13.4.2. Soul growth through the reception of Divine Love is progressive

13.4.3. Determining the source of error in relationships

13.5. Prayer tugs on God's Soul

14. How to engage prayer

14.1. Allowing time to feel fears and connect to God

14.2. Common methods used to avoid feeling fear

14.3. Giving up addictions in order to develop a relationship with God

14.3.1. An example of a participant attempting to give up all of his addictions at once

14.4. Developing humility to experiencing fear

14.5. An example of Mary developing her relationship with God

14.5.1. Longing for God's Love compared to asking for truth or humility

14.5.2. Feeling the need to be perfect before we can be loved

14.6. Focusing on God's Love rather than error

15. Closing words

Faith & Prayer Session 4 Part 1

1. Introduction

Jesus: How are you this morning? Good? Yes? Very good.

Mary: How did you find the talk yesterday? (See 20130622 Relationship With God - Faith & Prayer S3)

Jesus: A lot of the times I feel like when I speak, I still am feeling confusion from your soul for many of you and there's a lot of intellect at play rather than just allowing yourself to feel about what is being said to you. That is generally the case and many of your questions are driven by your intellect through your fear. So if you could think about - before you ask a question today - whether it's driven by a fear you have or whether it's just a thirst for truth or a thirst for knowledge, that would be great because what we find generally is when we give answers to questions that are based around fear generally we get off topic, and it's better if we can stay on topic today because there's still a lot of material to cover about prayer, and we'd really like to finish that off.

So for anyone listening this will be session four of the subject "Faith & Prayer" and we recommend to anybody who's listening on the Internet to these particular presentations that they go through session one, two, and three before they watch the last session - this session that we're doing today. This of course won't be the last session we do on these subjects but we want to try to cover most of the main points today about prayer, so that you feel pretty comfortable and confident about knowing what it's all about.

Now I know that many of you feel you know already what it's all about and this is something that I continually struggle with. We were talking, myself, Luli and Raj a few weeks ago about how in many of my talks what I'm trying to do is use the English language to describe truths that the English language is not really suited for - and by the way there is no language suited for it on Earth either - all of these truths have to be transmitted through the language of love, as we started talking about last night. The problem that we have generally is that most of us are still pretty distorted with our viewpoints of love and so therefore it's very difficult for us to understand what's really going on much of the time.

So the more sensitive you become to what is involved with love, the easier you will find God's Truth to understand from a soul perspective, and actually implement it from a soul perspective and that's what we'd like to recommend to you to do.

Mary: One of the beautiful things about prayer and this path is that you're being delivered a lot of truth. When Jesus gets up here and just speaks he says a lot of truth and the beautiful thing about truth is that it naturally confronts the error inside of us and what I notice sometimes is when the truth starts confronting the error people go, "Oh! Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Hang on!" (Mary motions putting her hand up) instead of just letting the error be confronted, feel that, and then have your question.

Jesus: So do you understand what Mary's saying? Let the error be confronted: let the feeling that you have in that moment of confusion or whatever it is that particular feeling; let that feeling be felt rather than trying to prevent the feeling by gaining more knowledge. This is something that many of us do with God as well: we long for God's Love, we feel a little bit of God's Love and then all of a sudden an emotion is confronted and instead of allowing ourselves to have that emotional confrontation happen as a natural part of this process, we shut it down. We try to run away from it, we try to intellectually bamboozle ourselves out of it, or we even try to intellectually manipulate ourselves out of it actually. We have very strong desires generally to get out of truth in many cases and out of a state of humility.

2. Five primary qualities that are essential for soul growth

Jesus: I was thinking this morning perhaps the best way to introduce the morning would be to talk with you a little about what the feelings are of different things that we have already discussed with you yesterday. So if we look at the five primary things that we discussed yesterday.

Mary: Does anyone remember what they were?

Jesus: The first one?

Audience: Humility.

Jesus: Humility, yes.

Audience: Truth and love.

Jesus: Truth. What we'll do here is I'm just going to change the order around a bit. Will, faith and love.

3. What humility feels like

Jesus: So if you had to describe the feeling of humility, what would you describe it to be, if you had to describe the feeling?

Participant Female: Soft?

Jesus: So it's soft, I agree. So when you say soft, it's soft and accepting, yes. Good.

Participant Female: I was going to say softening but there's a bit of peace with that softening as well.

Jesus: So it's a sort of a peaceful feeling? When you say peaceful ...

Mary: Is it really? (Laughs)

Participant Female: I often don't feel that peacefulness so at the moment when I'm feeling humble that's the word I put to it - "Wow I'm feeling humble at the moment, that's a really nice feeling." I feel soft, peaceful, and I'm not as noisy, I don't need to be as noisy when I'm being humble.

Jesus: Yes see I feel that people who are humble can be very noisy actually. (Laughter) Tristan's laughing about that at the moment. (Laughter) I'm not sure about the peaceful thing.

Mary: Sometimes when I surrender to a feeling it doesn't feel that peaceful.

Jesus: When you're humble to your feelings in particular.

Participant Female: There's openness.

Jesus: Open, very good. So it is definitely open - open to own emotions, can we say in particular? But it's also open to others' emotions as well.

Mary: That's a really key part of humility that I think often gets overlooked, and this is often why I see people getting quite self-centred when they are supposedly doing their emotional work because they think, "It's all about me, it's all about my emotion." Actually I feel humility is actually this openness to what's inside of me and when I'm really open to that I'm open to what's happening around me.

Jesus: Can I give you an illustration of that, a practical illustration? Many of you have almost this rebellious feeling about your emotions and you almost feel like, "I'm allowed to be emotional, it doesn't matter who's around me and what they feel about it." Now if we were truly humble we wouldn't have that feeling. What we would feel is sensitive to the people around us and we would go, "Oh that person's really uncomfortable with me feeling this terror in front of them so I'm going to go away and feel this terror, when I'm away from them." That's what a humble person would do.

Mary: And actually it's not very humble to say, "I'm having my emotions."

Jesus: That's angry.

Mary: That's anger. (Laughs) That's either, "I want to make a point," or, "I'm angry about being shut down," and it's a very angry place, which is not humility anyway.

Jesus: Any other things?

Participant Female: Surrender.

Jesus: So it's a surrendering process, yes. I agree. When we say surrender, what do you feel surrender is like?

Participant Female: Just allowing it, just allow it naturally to just flow into the emotion.

Jesus: Good. So it's an allowance process, is it?

Participant Female: Yes, no resistance.

Jesus: So the opposite to resistance, is it?

Mary: And the opposite to control, would you say?

Participant Female: Exactly, yes. So it's just letting go of control.

Jesus: Yes, good.

Participant Female: I feel pretty broken when I'm feeling everything; it's just like I can't hold it and it's just flowing.

Jesus: Right, yes. I actually wouldn't classify that as a humble place though.

Participant Female: So there's an authentic palpability.

Jesus: I definitely would say that it's authentic, in the sense that it's a place where you're being very truthful about your own state - so it's authentic and truthful, you could say that it's sincere.

Mary: And can we call it real?

Jesus: And real - these are the feelings associated with humility.

Participant Female: I'm not sure if it's the same as surrender but I would have said a willingness.

Jesus: Yes humility even hooks into this emotion of desire; so it's not just willing. There's a difference between willing and actually desiring, isn't there? willing is almost like a passive emotion whereas desiring is a very active emotion. So when we're desirous - I'll just put desirous - and willing, willing to me is not necessarily humble. I would say desirous is a humble state, where you fully desire your true emotional condition; you fully desire it to be truthful and sincere, and that's very, very different from being willing because willing has this underlying implication that you're being forced by something into a position.

Mary: You might be doing it just because you think it's the right thing to do.

Jesus: So you're forcing yourself, intellectually, under those circumstances.

Mary: There is I feel a really distinct difference between when I'm having a cry and feeling like, "I wish this would be over, this is hard, I've got to feel this ..."

Jesus: That's not humble.

Mary: That is a big difference to that of just going, "I'm in this, however long it takes, I just want to feel this feeling because it's a part of what's in me and it's me expressing me right now, how I am." I feel like that's a really crucial difference between what is humble and what is trying to do emotional processing so I can get better at something, which is not really humble.

Participant Female: Is there an extension of desirous longing?

Jesus: Yes, well it is a longing to actually feel your real self: so many of you still do not have a longing to feel your real self, you feel like you're getting forced into feeling your real self by the Universe and God and the Law of Attraction and all these other things that come along into your life, but not really willing to feel your real self because there's some resistance, but there's sort of like steps into it. There's the willingness, and to me the willingness indicates now you've been forced for a long time and instead of being resistive you're not willing but that's not the place of humility. The place of humility ...

Mary: Do you really want it?

Jesus: Do you really want it? That's desire and a person who's truly humble has a desire to feel everything, not just a willingness to feel everything.

Mary: I would like to talk about longing.

Jesus: Yes, sure.

Mary: Yes, so when we're done.

Participant Female: When I finally get to the place of humility I feel this real deep sense of relief. It's like (the participant sighs). I can just actually just be real and honest and just let it all be there.

Jesus: So would you say it's like you relax into it?

Participant Female: Yes, very much so.

Jesus: Instead of having fear about it or any other emotion about it, you're now relaxed into it. Like let's say you had a feeling of shame, and then if you had resistance initially you'd be very scared of the emotion, you'd be trying to run away from it all the time; then if you went into willingness you don't run away any more but you're not trying to access your shame; then when you go into desire you're now accessing your shame and as a result of this desire - because you're now receiving what you desire - there's also a relaxed feeling about the whole thing.

Participant Female: Yes you get to that place where you just don't have to hold the walls up anymore; you can just surrender and crash into it and just be there.

Jesus: Exactly.

Participant Female: No more effort.

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Female: Apart from the continuing feelings.

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Male: Just adding to what that conveyed, it's like letting go into what I would describe as the natural state.

Jesus: Yes, or the childlike state.

Participant Male: The childlike state.

Jesus: But it's not a childlike tantrum, is it?

Participant Male: No.

Jesus: Because that's not humble at all: so it's a childlike whatever it is, the true emotion - grief or whatever other emotion it is. You wanted to say, babe, about ...?

Mary: Oh it was about longing but perhaps once we're done.

Jesus: Yes because I just want to illustrate a few things about the feelings.

Participant Male: Yes just a soul opening to truth, no matter the source.

Jesus: Right, so you're not only open to your own emotions. Can we say that you're open to God's Truth? So you're not only open to your own truth, which could be very different to God's Truth, you're also open to God's Truth, open to God's emotions too, actually.

Mary: That's the magic thing, isn't it, about taking the first step of humility, truth and love? Once you do humility, you're already then receiving truth, receiving love - so it's not really a three step process.

Jesus: It's all integrated really; it's not like you can do one and not experience the next one.

Mary: Because God designed it that way that you just naturally start into the next one. It's like when you did "The Way" presentation (20111218 Relationship With God - The 'Way'), once we master humility, that's it. God's created the rest; He brings the truth and the love to the equation.

Participant Male: Without judgement.

Jesus: Yes, so I would say when we use these negative terms, like "without something", "without judgment", "without resistance", "without whatever", we're describing what it's not, but we're not describing what it is.

Participant Male: So it's like an allowance then, if that's a positive.

Jesus: Yes so we've already said allowance. What's the opposite to judgement? Acceptance, people have mentioned - well is that really the opposite to judgment? Acceptance is again a very passive emotion, is it not? So judgement is a very actively negative emotion, is it not?

Mary: What would it look like if I was judging, judging, judging, and then I did the opposite? How would I respond? Not just accepting, but the opposite of it?

Participant Male: I would say forgiveness.

Jesus: Forgiveness is a part of it, but what's the feeling, what's the actual feeling do you think would be present?

Participant Female: Compassion.

Jesus: Compassion is a very good answer, yes, it's an active emotion, isn't it, compassion? It's not something that you're passive about anymore, it's something completely active.

Participant Female: I was going to say love.

Jesus: Yes but we're going to describe love in more detail in a minute, and what it feels like. What we're aiming for is the feelings involved rather than just using some terms that you've heard many times before; we want the feelings involved.

Participant Female: It's probably not a feeling but embrace, I just feel like to embrace.

Jesus: Embrace, yes, compassionate embrace, isn't it? That's a very good description, yes.

Participant Female: There's a discernment: so I can tell what is love and what is fear.

Jesus: Yes, but I think what we were aiming for was the opposite of judgement and really the opposite of judgment is like a compassionate embrace. If we go for that as our description, I think that's a pretty good description - so compassion.

3.1. Speaking truth with humility

Jesus: Now can you see that rather than ask more about it - there's a lot more we could say - can you see that many of you, when you go to speak truth with another person, you're not in that state, you're not in a humble state, you're not in that state; you're in a completely different state. Often you're angry, resistive, you're going to tell them off, you're going to give them what for, you're going to make them feel worse about themselves, you want to make them feel worse about themselves, or you want to pull them down, you want to defend yourself or whatever it is, but none of that is that state (humility).

So can you see that when you go to speak the truth, many of you are not in a state of humility and if that's the case how can you be in a state of truth? Because remember humility is the doorway to truth: so if you're not being humble before you speak the truth, then you're not in a state of truth \- it's quite simple.

Humility is required to be in a state of truth

Mary: In order to receive the truth on a certain matter you must be humble. So when you go to then share that truth with someone else, you'll do it from a state of humility and this is where I feel like a lot of people hear - especially Jesus speak - a lot of truth and they go, "Yes I get it, I'm going out there into the world with it, and I'm going to tell everyone," but unless you had a soul-based process of receiving that truth you're going to be doing it from another emotional place, one that isn't humble. Whereas if you achieve humility and receive the truth into your soul, whenever you deliver that same truth you'll do it from a place of humility.

4. What truth feels like

Jesus: So rather than spending more time on the subject of humility, because we want to spend more time on that the next time we get together with you, what we're going to do is ask you now what are the feelings of truth?

Participant Female: There's a sense of clarity.

Mary: So clarity.

Participant Female: Like the fog lifts.

Mary: Like the fog lifts, yes, so clarity, that's a good description.

Jesus: Can I say though, just about clarity, sorry - you can be really clear on a falsehood too.

Mary: Oh yes.

Jesus: So I know many people who feel very clear, they feel like they've got a lot of clarity, but they're speaking completely everything that's false. So I don't know whether that's a description of the emotion of truth, remember here we're talking about truth, what are we saying? We're talking about the absolute truth of the Universe, aren't we? Divine Truth: so how does that feel? That's what we're asking.

Mary: So are you talking about how does it feel when we have truth? Or when give truth? Or when we receive truth?

Jesus: When we acknowledge truth and all those things, how does that feel?

Mary: Because that's what I was going to add to Jenn: sometimes when I receive truth it feels like my whole world just went upside down (laughs) but I do feel when I receive truth I have clarity about the issue - so maybe we should just leave that alone.

Jesus: Yes I see many people who have clarity who have no truth at all - so I don't feel that's a great way of determining whether you've just received some truth.

Participant Female: It would feel soft because you'd be feeling soft, you'd be expressing the truth to someone else softly because you're in a space of humility.

Jesus: Yes I don't know about that either because I have in the past and also in the first century frequently said things like, "the Sadducees and Pharisees were hypocrites, offspring of vipers". I wouldn't call that a very soft statement. I said that they were like "whitewashed graves full of dead men's bones", I actually said that. So I don't know if that's very soft; do you feel that's soft?

Mary: He's told me at times that I'm just being bitchy and it's true! (Laughter)

Participant Female: I was just thinking about when you're being loving to somebody not on the other side, so there's two sides to it, isn't there? You know when you're receiving a truth about yourself that is negative ...

4.1. Divine Truth never compromises

Jesus: Let me ask you this question: does God's Truth compromise?

Participant Female: No.

Jesus: Never, no, so if we talked about truth, the feeling is it never compromises; now the average person on this planet would tell you that you have to compromise, and in fact they say that the only way to negotiate any settlement for any particular deal is that you have to compromise.

Mary: Or that's love, also - sacrifice and compromise. That's a widely held belief, isn't it? And that's the only way you can have a relationship, is to have compromise.

Jesus: Whereas I would say if you compromise, you're now not in truth, and in fact if you compromise there are two people now not in truth, probably, most of the time, and you're never going to have any proper resolution of any problem while two people are compromising. You have to actually work out what is the truth in order to know what to do.

So if we arrange for some kind of legal transfer, for example, of a document, a legal document that is about a transfer of property or something like that, if one or the other compromises then already one or the other is not in truth because they're not saying what they want and they're not firmly standing by what they want. So already they're not in truth. So I would say that, definitely, truth never compromises.

Now that means that God's Truth \- and here we're talking about God's Truth, God's Absolute Truth - and I'm stating that your truth will have to move frequently. In other words, we have to allow ourselves to realise it's a very big difference between our own truth and God's Truth. Our own truth will need to compromise because often what we believe is truth is false; so to at some point we will need let our truth go in order to accept God's Truth. But God's Truth never compromises, ever: God has never, ever compromised with me or with you on any single point - it's very important to understand that. God's Truth is like a line in the sand and God will not step over it or allow you to step over it.

Now many of you don't like that: you don't want there to be a line in the sand, you want it to be a very blurred, a large area of grey (laughs), shall we say?

Mary: Plead special circumstances - "My case is special though! Couldn't we just move this way?"

Jesus: What we have is a scale between black and white and instead of you making a choice to be in one or the other (black or white), you want to be anywhere in between, in there, in the shades of grey.

Now many of you believe that's love: a person who allows you to remain in the shades of grey, but God Loves completely and God never allows you to remain in shades of grey. There are consequences to a person sitting on the fence as the saying goes. So it's interesting, isn't it?

So let's get back to how truth feels: it never compromises. What else might you say about it?

4.2. Divine Truth never forces itself

Participant Female: So there's a willingness and a courage to expose a fact regardless of whatever the response might be.

Mary: I would call that humility, would you call that humility?

Jesus: No, I think it's an aspect of truth but the problem is for many of us, is we go, "I need to be courageous, I need to stand up for truth," and then you stand up for truth while you compromise love. Many of you put yourselves in positions where you're constantly compromising love and you call it sharing the truth with others. Now to me, sharing the truth with others should only be done under two circumstances ethically: one is when somebody else has asked you to share it with them and two, if you personally are affected and you cannot avoid being affected by the interaction.

So for example, if I was sitting with Mary and Mary says a whole heap of things to me that I feel are untrue, I'll say, "Well do you want to know the truth?" (Laughs) And if Mary says, "No I don't," then I can only make one other choice, and that is to stay or to leave \- that's the only choice I can make if I love.

So truth does not force itself on somebody else.

Participant Female: Can I ask a question? Recently I have declared a truth, an erroneous act that I did with my insurance company.

Jesus: So you told your insurance company that something you did in the past was wrong?

Participant Female: Yes and so that's where I came to the point ... like it took willingness and courage for me to do that ...

Jesus: I agree.

Participant Female: ... regardless of what the response was going to be.

Jesus: I agree and that is certainly a part of truth. So certainly, this is what I said - I never said it wasn't - I was just saying that you've got to be careful that you're not forcing it, that it's actually something that is willingly desired on the other part.

Now your insurance company has actually said in writing that they want you to do that; (laughs) they have it in every contract when every contract that you have states to openly declare everything, so naturally you would do it because they desire that to happen and it's up to you to, through ethics, to declare it. So it's definitely required; they wanted it.

4.3. Divine Truth results in freedom

Participant Male: When you first hear truth it might be challenging but then a sense of relief must come after that.

Jesus: Yes, see what we're trying to do is we're trying to describe the feelings associated with God's Truth.

Participant Male: Freedom.

Jesus: So yes, freedom; all truth creates freedom - "the truth will set you free" - so it creates a feeling of freedom in the end but only in the end. Initially you might be severely challenged and feel like it's a restriction until you've worked your way though the emotional aspects of it but it definitely in the end creates a sense of freedom, and in fact many of you have yet to experience that. You see many of you are still quite afraid about sharing the truth with your partners, with your children, with your friends, with your family, with the world in general, and as a result of that particular fear that you have, you never feel free. You're always under some kind of constraint - so you've never experienced really the sense of freedom that comes from sharing the truth, from the feeling of truth if you like.

4.4. Sharing truth in a partner relationship

Participant Female: I was just going to ask, just with what you were saying before about your example with Mary, like if Mary was just saying whatever she was saying and you felt it was untrue, and you said, "Do you want to know the truth?" Just say I'm talking with Justin about something and I feel what he's saying is completely untrue, but I'm not totally certain about what I feel, would I just say, "Do you want to know what I feel?" instead of, "Do you want to know the truth?"

Jesus: Yes, of course but the fact that you've got to ask that question ...

Participant Female: Ask what question?

Jesus: The question you just asked - that you don't see a problem with that, having to ask that question; surely that would be a natural thing you'd say to your partner?

Participant Female: Yes we have a lot of problems. (Laughter)

Jesus: I understand. What I'm getting at is even having to say that to your partner is a fear-based statement, which means that you feel that your partner is not accepting of your own position, which is an indication of a fact there is a deeper problem. So to me, I would naturally share with Mary everything about how I feel, assuming that she would want to know and if she doesn't want to know, then I would have to question why I'm in a partnership with her because obviously if the other person doesn't want to know anything about me, and how I feel, even if how I feel is wrong, then obviously there's not much openness between the two of us, and we won't be able to move forward on hardly any issues under those circumstances.

Mary: So it's probably - if you imagine I was a stranger (laughs) in that analogy that Jesus was giving earlier about if I blurbed on about something, and we didn't know each other - if we weren't in an intimate relationship, then he might say, "Would you want to hear my thoughts on that?" Or, "Do you want to know the truth about that?"

Jesus: There's a big difference too between my feelings about it and the truth about it.

Participant Female: Oh yes, and that's why I was asking the question because ...

Jesus: Many times many of you believe your feelings about it are the truth and most of the time they're not actually; they're not God's Truth, they're only your opinions.

4.5. Speaking truth with humility (continued)

Mary: I feel that also we need to be careful of saying, "Right, okay, now I just have to ask people," and really the point that Jesus is trying to make is really about an emotional state, isn't it? If you wander around having the feeling that people should listen, and you know God's Truth, and that's it, and then you just go, "So do you want to know truth about that?" (Laughs), you really missed the lesson of love, the lesson of humility.

Jesus: Not only that, you are also out of harmony with truth and humility right in that place, so you're nowhere near truth in that place actually and many people who believe they're in truth in that place are way, way away from truth \- you're misrepresenting the truth.

Mary: That's why I get a little bit funny when we start to talk about what the qualities of truth and humility are because to me you can't actually speak truth unless you're already humble. Somebody asked me why I didn't come up here yesterday to talk and I was so passionate about the topic, and it was because I felt like I'm not really that humble today. So I can't really speak any truth about this topic even though I feel like I've got experience with it at the moment because just that very fact alone would mean that I wouldn't be able to deliver the truth with love to you, regardless of what emotion I was denying; without really feeling myself - how I would feel in front of a crowd - then I knew I couldn't deliver truth.

Participant Female: Well I don't feel very humble at all so I don't think I should say much at all really! (Laughter)

Jesus: Well this is where it's great because you learn to self-reflect more and open your mouth less, and that's not a bad thing. (Laughter) You see this is the problem, is that many times we hear the truth we have a recognition of it to a degree in our soul in the sense we feel that it's probably highly likely true, we feel quite keen about it, we might have a desire for it, and then we want to go around forcing it upon other people without actually accepting it in our own soul first. Now that's called hypocrisy; there's a word for it - hypocrisy. To be truly un-hypocritical, what we need to do is feel the truth of it first, and we should only really be sharing Divine Truth with others that we ourselves have felt first as truth and to do that, you would already, as Mary's been pointing out, be in a humble place when you share that particular truth.

Jesus: So whenever you're not in a humble place sharing the particular truth, that means that this truth isn't in you yet; it's just an intellectual concept and you've got a lot of emotional baggage yet to release before it becomes a soul-based feeling.

Participant Female: And then I guess we're just creating more pain for ourselves and for others that we then have to work through later.

Jesus: Dead right. Many of you ask us the question, "Why is it that whenever I share the truth with others they always react badly? They always get angry, resistive and all that, and it's all hard to share the truth." Well it's hard to under those circumstances because it's your emotions that are creating that particular response.

I very rarely have people doing that with me: in the situation where I'm sharing truth with them, it's very rare for people to attack me or do anything towards me; they might go away, think about what I just said, and then want to attack me \- that frequently happens. But in the situation it's very rare for people to feel attacking towards me because they can feel my love for them while I'm sharing the truth; they can feel that I'm in a humble place while I'm sharing the truth. I'm not trying to attack them or denigrate them or pull them down, and yet I can say some pretty straight things, as many of you know, yet still not have the feeling that I'm trying to judge you or pull you down or tear you apart or any of these other kinds of feelings that we often get very resistive to - that's why people listen.

If people are not listening to you, that's why people are not listening - because you're not in that state, in the humble state that is required in order to share truth with others. Also, I would suggest the truth is not in your heart yet because the first truth really that needs to be in our heart is the truth about love and the truth is that love never forces itself upon another, just like truth never forces itself upon another. Love is open to the will of the individual; it acknowledges and not only acknowledges, it supports the will of the individual.

4.6. Being direct and firm with truth

Jesus: So that's a primary truth about love and if we were in a state of truth we would know that. We would feel that. So we'd never be able to attack somebody even if they were out of harmony with truth themselves. We would never be able to attack them constantly. We would be firm; we would never compromise. So if Mary's being a bitch, I say, "Yes you're being a bitch now."

Mary: It never really happens anymore! (Laughter) I'm over that now! (Laughs)

Participant Female: Are you sure? (Laughs)

Jesus: I reckon you're pretty much are over it, I haven't felt you being a bitch for a while. (Laughter)

The reality is that like a spade is a spade. (Laughs) I don't use the term bitch in a judgemental way, by the way, I just say \- if we define what to me being a bitch is, as someone who's angry, aggressive, attacking, belittling, condescending, manipulative - then I would say, "Yes, Mary, you're being all of those things in that particular place," whatever she was doing at the time. I rarely feel those emotions from Mary now but I also used to feel this emotion - she wants to be that. That's what she wanted to be and I'd say, "Yes, and you want to be like that." (Laughs)

So a person who's in truth would never compromise but at the same time I also would never try to force Mary to be something different. I'm just saying, "Look, babe, you want to be like that? I can't be with you. I'm not trying to control your behaviour but I'm telling you I'm going to leave, or you're going to have to leave if I own the house. Otherwise we're never going to get forward on these issues." We need to determine whether you want to stay that way or not and unfortunately many of us do want to stay those ways and we don't want to compromise on those ways.

Mary: And I was just saying to Jesus last night after this talk actually that I feel like it's very little understood the power of someone just calling a spade a spade. Like for me, when I met AJ, you know how yesterday he was talking about God feels your soul, when there's flowing emotions, God feels it more and then there's hard ones that are like a rock, and it's hard for anyone to feel them. I felt like when I met him I was the rock! Everything was the rock and I was in this place of wanting control and wanting power because of a lot of stuck emotions that I didn't want to feel, and it took someone being very direct with me over a period of years for me to loosen up. (Laughs)

4.6.1. An example of AJ and Mary's relationship

Mary: I feel like very often this is the power of truth – is that it doesn't hint, it doesn't really leave it up to you to join the dots, it just says it without expectation or demand or a desire to judge. It just says - "Here it is. Do with it what you will." And that is really what you did with me, "Here it is," from the second or third email - "Here it is."

And I would read the email, go away for two days, go, "Nah, that's it, I'm having nothing to do with this man. Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! It's all crazy." And then I'd have to sit back down and go, "Argh, he's right! Damn it!" (Laughs) And that's the power of truth.

Jesus: But that required humility on Mary's part because she could have said, "He's just a bastard and I'm not going to listen to him again," even though if she really felt that I was right she could have done that just from her own emotional position to avoid a lot of things and she chose to not do that.

So I remember the first email I received from Mary: it was just sort of two lines and it said, "I hear that you think I'm your soulmate; please tell me what this is about. Mary." (Laughter)

Mary: I was direct!

Jesus: And I thought about that for a bit and thought, "Okay I'll tell her what it's about." So ten pages later ... (Laughter)

Mary: I asked! (Laughter)

Jesus: She asked; so I waited for her will to be engaged before I told her. She told me - whether she meant it or not at the time is a different matter - but she told me she wanted to receive what I thought it was about, and I so l told her what it was about in terms of what I felt. And everyone who was with me at the time read my letter after I sent it and said, "And you sent that? What did you send that for? She's going to run a hundred miles from that!" And the reality is she did initially have a reaction but the soul who is humble or who seeks truth is attracted to truth.

4.7. Truth is attractive

Mary: That was one of the things I wanted to add to the list, that I feel that truth is very attractive in a spiritual sense; it builds upon itself and it attracts truth to it, but also it's quite attractive. I used to say that to him - "Truth is sexy." (Laughter)

Jesus: The reality is, particularly the other half of your soul will feel that (laughs) - not everybody \- but the other half of your soul will feel very like attracted to you sharing the real truth with them about how you feel, how you feel about them, how you feel about God, everything.

Mary: Even if it's like the end of the world, sometimes we've had the end of the world discussion where I fess up and go, "This is how I feel ... " and then it's just so ... it's like, "Ah! I let that go." Now we're totally attracted to each other.

4.7.1. An example of AJ and Mary's relationship

Jesus: So sometimes Mary has gotten really stressed about sharing the truth with me, because she's worried that at some point I'll hear it all and go, "No that's all too much now." (Laughs)

Mary: "Now I really can't love you."

Jesus: And I go, "Wow that's really beautiful, babe. Thanks." You know and she goes, "What? What!" (Laughs) Because most people are used to doing that, aren't they? When it comes to sharing truth, you're used to being in this place where you feel like truth is attacking or you feel like it's denigrating. So when you get into a state of personal repentance sometimes you expect the other person to be like abusive or attacking towards you or even not wanting to see you anymore, feeling ashamed of you or any of those kind of emotions, but the reality is if we share the truth with others it's highly unlikely that that will be the long-term outcome of the sharing of truth. The long-term outcome is usually always quite good.

Mary: And I feel strongly on this issue of the other half of your soul: when you speak the truth to the other half of your soul, it is very attractive to them - even if it's incredibly confronting, even if they do run. Like when we met, I don't know if it's a sports thing at school or whatever, but it's kind of like relays - you touch a point, then you run in one direction, and then you run back and you touch a point again. Did anyone do that in training at school? That is kind of what it was like in our relationship. (Laughs)

We'd have some truth, I'd run a hundred miles in the other direction and then I'd go, "Urgh, I'm so attracted to that," and come back again. (Laughs) And over time obviously less running, more closeness: but I don't know how it would have worked out if you had from the outset gone, "I don't want to scare her too much, I'll water this down, and I'll it make it smaller and I'll sacrifice who I am in order to make her more comfortable," we certainly wouldn't have the kind of relationship we have now. But I don't even know if I would have been as attracted to you as I am, as I was, even though it was confronting so many injuries inside of me; it was still very compelling this feeling of the other half of me speaking the truth.

Jesus: And I still had to process things emotionally, of course: so every time Mary went away I had some feelings that I had to feel and I went through those feelings. One time that Mary just totally outright rejected me, really firmly, I cried for eight hours a day for nearly twelve weeks; Tristan, my son, was living with me at the time, and he will testify that was pretty much the case.

Then I went through the end of the processing and I realised it was a lot about how I felt about myself actually that Mary was just reflecting at me. Once I processed my way through those emotions, which I'd been resisting for a lot of those twelve weeks, I came out of it in this state of freedom and felt, "Yes, interesting. She's going to call me in a couple of days." So for nearly three months I didn't hear from her at all, and then I felt like, "Yes, she's probably going to call me in the next few days," and sure enough the next morning she called me, and we re-established communication again after that.

So the truth has this powerful effect on both parties. When you acknowledge the truth, you'll find that you'll easily get into emotion. The reason why I had that emotional experience was I had to acknowledge the truth at the time, and it was the truth at the time that the other half of my soul just hated me, did not want to be with me, and felt like she would rather anybody else but me. Once I acknowledged that inside of myself I went through the process emotionally of feeling a lot of those emotions, and in the end released a lot of very negative emotions about myself in the process, and as soon as I came out of that emotion, I think I even said to Tristan, "I think she'll call me in the next couple of days"; that's the way I felt, "She'll kill me in the next couple of days."

Mary: Kill? Call, not kill!

Jesus: Call me, call me. (Laughter) It's possible, but no, "She'll call me in the next couple of days," and sure enough Mary did. And that's happened a number of times, actually, where Mary's felt really, really stressed about something that's been said or at the time you were even just really stressed, You keep stepping back; you're worried about everyone!

Mary: I was ...

Jesus: You were sort of like always making the step away, coming back. And it is like that; in the end the truth is attractive to a person who's sincere and surely you would like whoever you're going to be with to be sincere, so of course it's going to be attractive. So it's very important to understand that.

Mary: I'm still working through my shame about a lot of those early times, but as I was saying to Jesus last night, like that was such a gift that he gave to our soul to be humble in those moments, in those months, because it really did open something for me, and I was brought back. My growth has been slower but it is assisted by the other half of you.

I feel that a lot of people don't really feel that this is one soul and my humility is a gift not only to me and my relationship with God, but to the other half of me. Even when it seems totally hopeless: I think before those three months I had sat down with Jesus and said, "It's not here, I don't feel anything for you, I'm not attracted to you," \- lie, lie to myself - but that's really how frightened I was. It was like zero; I just couldn't feel anything and he could have walked away then and judged me or, wanted to never have anything to do with me, but he was just humble and that gave so much to our soul, so much more opportunity and so much more growth.

4.8. Divine Truth builds upon itself

Jesus: But we're getting a bit off topic because we want talk to about the feelings of truth. So what are those feelings of truth?

Participant Male: The only way I can think about it is illuminating: basically it connects totally with all other absolute truth you already know.

Jesus: So how can we describe that in a few words?

Mary: Well it's that building on itself.

Participant Male: It builds and ...

Mary: ... illuminates ... I feel like it illuminates the error as well, doesn't it?

Participant Male: Yes, it shows up everything.

Mary: Shines a light in there.

Jesus: Yes, I know it's not the right word, what's the word when everything joins together?

Mary: Cohesive?

Audience: Synergy?

Jesus: Synergy? Yes.

Audience: Consolidatory.

Jesus: Consolidatory. Resonates? I know a lot of people where error resonates with them much more than truth does. (Laughs) It's hard to describe, but I must agree with what Tristan's saying, it builds on previous things that you have already established as soul-based truths. So it never has any disharmony with it, but it's like a construction, where you have a foundation, and then you have walls, and then you have a roof; everything fits together in a cohesive whole, and even when there's a bit missing, once you get the bit that's missing and put it in place, everything fits in together again.

Participant Male: Even on a very minute scale.

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Male: Like human's bits.

Jesus: Right down to the tiniest details.

Mary: It reminds me of like muscle fibres and different fibres in your body, the way they all just link together in this beautiful way.

Jesus: I'm not sure how to describe that as a word though. Consolidates? Yes, I thought about that word but it's not really.

Mary: What about builds upon itself? Can we have three words?

Jesus: Yes builds upon itself might be the best.

Mary: I liked illuminating too, because it shines a light on a lot of things, doesn't it?

4.9. Divine Truth is powerful and strong

Participant Male: I was just going to mention that aspect of truth, where it feels like a powerful wall of love, I guess. In the sense of like you having an aura.

Jesus: So it has power, and strength, and it motivates to action. See this is the reason why many of you have not acted upon the truths that you've received; it's because you've received them in your mind; and when you only receive something in your mind, it doesn't motivate you to action. It's only when it hits your soul that it truly motivates you into action; in fact action is unavoidable when it hits your soul, you can't help but do it. You're not always trying to get away from it either; you love it, and you can't help but do it, you're drawn into doing it.

Feelings associated with Divine Truth

But let's leave that there. What I'm trying to illustrate here is how there are a series of qualities that are feelings associated with truth, just like there were a series of qualities, attributes, you could say, of feelings that were associated with humility.

5. What will feels like

Jesus: Now when it comes to will, what does that feel like?

Mary: So is the question what does our will feel like?

Participant Female: This might be wrong, but determination? Or that might be more my stubbornness (laughs) in the wrong way!

Jesus: Determination, yes.

Participant Female: Unyielding, probably more. No that's wrong.

Mary: Definite, would you say?

Jesus: It's a desirous determination. It's not something that you determine because you have to or because you feel forced into it. It's something that you feel like doing with your whole heart.

Participant Male: It flows like water; it doesn't stay in one place.

Jesus: Alright, so it's flowing, not stagnant.

Participant Male: Not stagnant.

Jesus: But I don't like using the "nots".

Participant Female: It feels strong, like ...

Jesus: It's firm and strong, yes.

Participant Female: Firm, yes. I think that's the word - firm.

Jesus: And strong, yes.

Participant Female: And can you say that it's like, it's right, it just feels really ...

Jesus: Right? Yes. Bright ...

Mary: No, she said, "Right".

Jesus: Right, sorry - right.

Participant Female: But bright is a good one too!

Jesus: Bright, yes. I like bright. So right, you said? In what way do you mean right?

Participant Female: Just so sure, it's the surety of it.

Jesus: Yes, so sure.

Participant Male: I've been trying to think of the words to use, but it feels like waking up or stretching. Like Tristan said - water flowing. It's like it starts with a droplet and then there's like two droplets flowing and there's three droplets flowing and it just build on itself.

Jesus: So it grows. Yes, it feels like a growing passionate desire.

Participant Male: It feels alive.

Jesus: It feels alive, not dead. Yes, alive.

Participant Male: Control?

Jesus: Control? I don't think so, Wayne. I feel like when you use your will you don't necessarily want control if it's emotional; in fact if it's intellectual, yes, you often do want control, but control is often driven by fears and not by your will. So I feel this is where a lot of people become a bit confused with their will. They develop control over their life using their will but a lot of times it's in protection of a lot of quite negative emotions.

Mary: Sometimes it feels to me like when I embrace my will it's an expression of myself of what I want to do. So sometimes it feels like I'm taking more and I'm just wondering if maybe that's where your comment came from. It's not control over myself and it's not responsibility of myself, but it's more like expressing myself in a purposeful way when I haven't before.

Jesus: So could we say emotional expression of your true self?

Participant Female: It's empowering.

Jesus: It's empowering in terms of what way, do you feel, Cec?

Participant Female: I think what you said you about emotional expression is ... I feel some connection to that expression of it.

Jesus: Can I say, and I think the feeling that you're trying to aim for, is a feeling that when you engage your will, it's very much like truth in that it builds upon itself. It's like a construction, and as a result it always finishes up affirming your own desires back to yourself. It has this thing of empowering you to follow a certain path because you want to, but each step you take on the path gathers more power and momentum. If your will is being exercised in harmony with love, that's what happens; each step on the path leads you to a greater expression of your will in the direction that you need to express it.

So for example, if you were truly passionate about sharing Divine Truth with others, you might start by sharing it with your next-door neighbour or your friend, and then as you deal with certain emotions, you will attract bigger and bigger groups, wanting you to share Divine Truth with others. You won't have to force that; you won't have to control that; you won't have to organise it even; it will be a naturally occurring thing if you really had a desire to use your will in that direction.

So it would be something that would be growing \- if your will is in harmony with love, it would naturally grow without you making it grow. If it's not in harmony with love, then it won't naturally grow or if your will is not being expressed clearly, it will not naturally grow. So true expression of your will is very empowering; it's supportive of your prior choices and decisions.

Participant Female: To me it's like a feeling of expansion and joy - it brings joy with it.

Jesus: Yes, I feel ...

Participant Female: It shares that with truth too - there's this feeling of growth.

Jesus: Yes, I agree. I feel now we're talking about a lot of the effects rather than the feelings of it and so I agree with all the effects but if we can focus more upon the feelings, that would be great; what it feels like.

Participant Male: It's excitement and energy.

Jesus: It's very exciting, yes, and full of energy. Exciting and energetic.

Participant Female: It's passionate.

Jesus: It is very passionate, yes. Well let's leave that one there.

Feelings associated with will

What are we noticing so far though? We've discussed these qualities, and what are we noticing so far? You can see how a lot of the feelings involved in them overlap, that is true. What else are we noticing? If it's in harmony with truth, and in harmony with love, we notice that it always results in growth; they're growing emotions; they start off small and then end up bigger, every single time.

Mary: And they support each other.

Jesus: And they support each other.

Participant Male: And inspires others to grow as well.

Jesus: They inspire others - they don't attack others - it inspires others. So it inspires others; it allows others to look and see what's happening and then inspires them into some form of action generally.

6. The five primary qualities that are essential for soul growth are feelings

Jesus: Now we've discussed the emotions of faith over the last three sessions, so I'm not going to list the emotions of faith because that's something we've already discussed. Now what's the point of this discussion so far? Any ideas what the point is?

Participant Female: Because a lot of these are integrated between all them.

Jesus: They are, I think that's self-evident though.

Participant Female: Feeling.

Jesus: They're all feelings. They're all emotions.

Participant Female: Not intellectual.

Jesus: Not intellectual.

Participant Female: Feeling.

Jesus: This is very important, very important to understand: many of you still do not get that really, that all of these things enter your soul, they're not things that can enter your head. If they've entered your head without entering your soul, like as we pointed out with truth and humility - often you're telling the truth but not being humble. That's an indication it's entered your head but it hasn't touched your soul yet.

Mary: And it's really when we express them from our soul that the power comes, that the supportiveness comes, that the inspiration comes.

Jesus: It has to come from the soul and it has to have some kind of emotional content that's real.

Participant Male: So when we get out of our head, we can integrate it more into the feeling centre?

Jesus: Yes well we don't even have to try to get it out of our head: this is where I'm leading to, actually, I've described a whole heap of emotions and if you think about it, the majority of us still don't really know humility. If you describe humility as the list of emotions that we actually listed, if you think about it, the majority of us have never really felt truth because if you look at the group of emotions that I've listed about truth, most of us probably haven't felt many of those emotions with many subjects.

Feelings associated with truth

So for example, yesterday (see 20130622 Relationship With God - Faith & Prayer S3) I brought up the issue of soulmates: I could say almost categorically that ninety-five to ninety-eight per cent of you in the audience currently have never felt the emotions of truth or humility related to soulmates. And there must be a lot of reasons why, and we can talk about them separately, but that's one area because the majority of us are still not with our soulmates; it's blatantly obvious that there must be something going on still, there must be something going on here.

6.1. An example of feeling will

Jesus: And the reality is most of us are still not feeling our will. In fact many of you even decided to move here without the true expression of your will. So those of you who moved here or to this region because we had previously moved to this region, many of you did not exercise your will in doing so, you only exercised it based upon a fear that you had or some other thing, or an expectation that I would somehow drive your will. In fact many of you actually wanted a guru, you wanted somebody to tell you what to do because you don't want to take responsibility for telling yourself what to do.

Mary: It's not really working out, is it? (Laughs)

Jesus: That didn't work out very well, because we don't do that, we don't tell people what to do. We're only giving you teachings of truth to decide what to do with yourself; we're not going to tell you what to do with the rest of your life - and God, by the way, will not either because God Loves you - God wants you to choose, through your will, what to do for the rest of your life.

Mary: So when you say people made decisions and moved, you don't mean that they didn't use their will, because they did, you mean they didn't use a loving expression of their will.

Jesus: It wasn't a loving expression of their will; it was a fear-based expression of your will. This is what I'm saying - many of you have yet to engage your will without fear.

7. Having faith in error

Jesus: Yesterday we raised the issue of fear, and fear is really the error: so this is where I'm leading to with our conversation today - we are often in a state of error, and error is always the thing that creates the fear that we live in. It's always the thing that creates the fear. If you think about it, many of us have only got faith in the error; we have faith in the error.

Now, if we in having faith in the error, and we take actions using our will to support our faith in the error, we start to think that the truth is error. In fact that's what drove a lot of our decisions to do such a thing in the first place and of course, because we're not humble to how we feel, we actually only feel emotions that are errors, not truth.

So many of us have been processing emotions that are not actually emotions that you need to process, they're emotions that you want to process because you don't like the emotions you need to process; you're processing emotions you like to process because you don't want to process the emotions you have to process in order to get closer to God.

There's no humility in that, that's a choice exercised by your own heart and mind to go down a certain road because you don't want to go down another road. God is always trying to drag you down that one and the Law of Attraction is always trying to drag you down that one, and all of God's Laws in fact \- the Law of Cause and Effect, all of God's Laws of Love - are all trying to drag you down in that direction. But you're going, "No, no, no, no. I like my error, so I'm only going to feel the things that agree with my current state, that's what I'm only going to allow."

Now the problem with that is that is based on this problem, this feeling of fear. Where fear exists, truth cannot really exist. The accurate expression of our will, the joyful expression of our will, will never be realised. We will never get into a humble condition. We will also not have faith in any truth, we'll only have faith in the error itself, and we can't love - we won't receive love, and we won't be able to give love - this is why many of you have heard me speak for four or five years but are still struggling receiving and giving love, because you have faith in the error-based position.

Quite often myself and Mary have had discussions where Mary's saying, "Oh it's this and oh it's that," and she's intellectually worked out this and she's intellectually worked out that, and she's done all this work, and usually that happens over the course of a few hours, and she comes to me, "Look I'd like to have a chat with you about something," and I go, "No worries." We sit down, we start talking, and I say, "Yes you've got it all wrong, darling, sorry, because it's really quite simple - you're afraid and you don't want to feel your fear, and because of that, everything you do after that is flawed."

Mary: Now I just streamline, "There's a problem, what am I afraid of?" I don't have to have a discussion. (Laughter)

Jesus: What Mary's found since doing that is that she gets into her fear a lot more readily, acknowledging every time that there's got to be a fear that's stopping the progress.

Mary: But also I really came to understand how much faith I had in error and recognising that changed everything really; recognising how much I was faithful to what I believed would happen in the negative and how much that was impacting on my will, on my faith, on my desires.

Jesus: Maybe we need to give some examples. I can give some examples from my own life and you can give some examples from yours.

7.1. An example of AJ previously having faith in avoiding the experience of emotions

Jesus: All through my life I've had memories about different events happening to me. Shortly after I was two years of age, I started having memories about having nails driven through my feet and my wrist, and as you can imagine, for a two year old, that was pretty scary and actually my body responded and I had to have an operation; I had part of my bowel removed because I had so much fear and after a while I learned to shut it all down. I learned by the time I was six, I got control of everything of it all and shut it all down. I never discussed it with anybody of course, because even when I was two, there was nothing I could say about it; it was just feelings of nails being driven into me and stuff like that.

But then as I grew older I started really actively shutting it all down; I didn't want to feel it, so I had no humility, I didn't want to accept that it had happened to me, so I had no desire for the truth about it, I used my will to actively avoid it emotionally. Now by the time I was thirty-three, I started getting close to really having some major stresses in my life, and as a result of that all of these memories started returning to me and I could have again chosen to try to shut them all down again, to use my will.

Now up to that point, I only had faith in the error: the error being something is wrong with me, I'm going to go crazy if I allow these feelings to continue or if I allow myself to process them, something bad is going to happen. I actually believed with all my heart that I would die by the time I was thirty-three: that's been with me all my life, that feeling that I was going to die when I was thirty-three and I tried to avoid that too, (Laughs) just like I tried to avoid everything else. I used my will to tell myself that it's crazy; I only had faith in the error, that's all I had; I had no desire to find out the truth about any of it.

Now because of that I eventually got myself into such a position that I was alone, everyone that I knew would not speak to me, I was completely alone financially, emotionally, physically and everything, and eventually I had to come face to face with those feelings. You see God is always drawing you into a state of truth: God is always trying to get you to face some facts about your life and this is the case for many of you; God is trying to draw you into facing some facts about your life. If you process through them emotionally, without needing to involve anyone else, you will get to the facts of it emotionally, if you are honest about your addictions.

So I firstly had to go through my addictions and be honest about them: I wasn't addicted to having everybody know me, I've never had an addiction for approval, I've never had an addiction to having glory or any of those kind of things. In fact I was totally terrified of everybody knowing me, and in a lot of ways, as Mary knows, I still am (Laughs) and that's something that I'm still working through even now, I'm still working through some of that emotion.

But I had to come face to face with this error that if I processed something emotionally that it would mean that I'd go crazy. Now many of you have yet to actually go through that truth, you still believe that if you process something emotionally you'll go crazy and you'll end up in an asylum; many of you feel that. It's something I had to work my way through and allow myself to feel as an emotion. I had to come to accept the truth from God's perspective that emotions would lead me to truth, if I allowed myself to feel them properly, if I allowed myself to feel them without any addiction, I would get there in the end.

So I had to come to trust that if I did things God's Way it would all work out in the end because to be honest with you, I never had any faith in that: I never had any faith that if I did something God's Way it would work out in the end. The way I felt before then was if I did something God's Way it would just result in the annihilation of my own life; that's how I felt and it took me quite some time, nearly seven years of different types of emotional processing, to come to the soul-based realisation that if I do things God's Way it would always work out the best.

7.2. An example of Mary's interactions with the media

Jesus: (To Mary) You want to give an example for yourself?

Mary: Sure, I'll give an example, a recent one in my life. To give a bit of background, the last six months for me has really been about reflecting on God's Laws and do I have any honour or faith in God's Laws? I say that I really believe in them, and I feel passionately about them, but is that real in my life, in the way I'm living my life?

Now when I met AJ, I'll call him AJ because this is what we are in this incarnation, so when I met him again, to also give some background, I was never a very popular kid in school or high school, and when I went to university I really got into this addiction of wanting people to like me. I always had the feeling that I wanted people to like me, but I really started to mould myself and meld myself in ways so that I felt that people would approve of me and I would be a "worldly" person, because I was always very scared of the world.

When we met I suddenly felt that the last decade or so was going to be wasted because I was suddenly going to lose everyone's approval, and I did. My own family said, "Look, we're afraid for you; you're probably going to die early; something terrible is going to happen; the rest of your life you will be ostracised and it will be horrible." So that was a lot of my fears being reflected to me, and I kind of lived in that feeling that I had faith in that feeling, actually.

Jesus: That it was true.

Mary: That it was true, I couldn't deny it, this truth was so attractive. I was doing the tag team thing, but actually I had to accept the "truth" that life was pretty much a fringe dweller; I was going to be a fringe dweller from here on out and even though this is the most amazing life-changing truth you could ever hear, and my heart is dying for everyone to hear it, I'm probably not going to share it that much, or that vocally, or be myself very much because it's all just going to end in me being ostracised. And frankly, no matter what you say about all the other laws, I'm the exception, because I'm Mary Magdalene. (Laughs)

7.2.1. Interactions with David Millikan from Channel 7

Mary: Then about three years ago the media approached us, and they wanted to do a story on us, and lots of you were here and they came; it was the first time. It started out David Millikan came and he wanted to just write a section in a book he was writing about us - I was even freaked out about that - and within a couple of months he wanted to do a TV segment about us.

Now my approach to that was: I wasn't honouring any of God's Laws, basically; I modified my will, I modified who I was, I wanted to present a facade to him, and I wanted him to like me; I wanted him to see I'm just a nice regular girl, and it didn't matter, I just wanted to be whatever he thought would be an acceptable person. And in that I was not only modifying my own will, I was trying to control his will, I was trying to control the outcome of what was going to happen. I wasn't saying that, but my soul-based feeling was, "I want things to go this way," all the while having the faith in the error that it's probably all going to end badly anyway. Guess what happened? You don't have to guess, you saw it! (Laughs)

7.2.2. Placing guidelines for subsequent media interactions

Mary: So after that I thought, yes, there you go, there's my evidence: I had faith in the error and I've got some evidence to support and you'd be surprised at how often that happens in your own life. You live with an error, you have faith in that error, and then you act in accordance with that error, and then you go, "Yes, and there's my evidence, there's my evidence that all this stuff about God's Laws and Divine Truth, well it doesn't really shape up in every situation - let's face it."

So beyond this point, now my tack changed. I decided for the next few media interactions that we had, and we didn't have many after that ... oh we had a sort of a rush of them, and then ...

Jesus: To be honest you didn't want any, did you? (Laughs)

Mary: (Laughs) I didn't want any! That was it! No more media for me. I didn't want any to start with, and that was proof we should never talk to the media again. So Jesus did a few more TV things and then it went quiet for a year or so. And then we decided, look, there was so much error presented about us that the most loving thing to do for truth is to record what happens with the media, so we're going to just record whatever they do and put it on our YouTube site and that's our condition.

Now of course this began to challenge the feelings that I had of wanting to please everyone who I perceive has power, and I'm so afraid of the media; I perceive they have a lot of power. So now another emotion is being triggered for me: "No we have to please these people. We can't be putting stipulations on them. If we put stipulations, it'll go even worse." That was what my fear was telling me. So but I begrudgingly thought, "It's true though, so okay, we'll do it." And the feeling inside of me was not an embracing of my will, it wasn't a feeling, "I'm allowed to choose what happens in my life," my feeling was, "If I'm afraid, I have to do what the fear says, and I'm afraid they're going to think we're picky and weird and so we should not do this." That was the soul-based feeling.

So notice already in my life there are all these soul-based feelings I'm not even being humble to. I'm just like doing what I think I should do begrudgingly, having faith in a lot of error and then things didn't go that well either.

Jesus: So it's willing but only willing when you're forced. (Laughs)

Mary: (Laughs) Willing when the truth is kind of nagging me but it's not these lovely feelings we talked about - of desirous - I wasn't desirous of doing this because my faith was in error. My faith was, "Yes, truth works and the Law of Attraction does bring you things, and there is such as thing as cause and effect, but when it comes to being Mary Magdalene with the media - no." (Laughs) That was really what I felt quite honestly.

7.2.3. Engaging the media reluctantly

Mary: So then more recently what I would do is I would just go away emotionally. I wasn't there. So all these media people who came to see us, they were like, "What's going on with her? She's just doesn't even really look that good, does she? She's not really happy, is she?" Not understanding that my ...

Jesus: And she wasn't happy every time one member of the media came, of course.

Mary: There was a cause and effect in terms of when the media entered - I wasn't very happy.

Jesus: So Mary's sitting there. (AJ crosses his arms and looks grumpy) "What are they going to do to me now?"

Mary: This is the feeling coming out of me, "Right, I can feel you judging us. Whatever." So I wasn't being very humble, was I? I wasn't being very humble - and I also wasn't being myself, which is really being humble.

Jesus: It got to the point where I said to Mary that actually if I'm going to have a media interaction, you need to not be around. (Laughs)

Mary: And I was like, "Good! Okay! I don't even want to be around." (Laughs)

Jesus: Because actually I felt there were more negative spirit influences upon Mary and others who were with us doing the filming than there were upon the person who was the media person trying to do the interview. (Laughs)

Mary: Yes so this is the state I was in - not even really wanting to be aware of all these - bound up stuff: "I love God and God's Laws and I love Divine Truth and I love our life but when it comes to the media, no. I don't even want to be humble to what's going on inside of me. It's a special case scenario," because there's so much fear in me.

Jesus: We've all got special case scenarios. (Laughs)

7.2.4. Interactions with the media from New Zealand

Mary: And when the last group of media approached us, so this was quite a few months ago now actually, we started liaising with the guys in New Zealand back in December and I was the point of contact on purpose because I realised that my approach and my agenda and my faith had been in very negative things. And I thought, "Hang on, if I'm going to honour God's Laws, my soulmate's giving me a lot of truth about how I'm actually behaving, what would it look like if I honoured God's Laws in this situation? What would it look like if I were humble, if I acknowledged I had my own will, and that I acknowledged that I was attracting this because God thought I was ready - I didn't, but God must."

Jesus: And we had many discussions, didn't we, about how I see interactions compared to how Mary saw them, and we also had many discussions about how I could feel this as a big wall between myself and Mary as well because every time your partner or your soulmate has a different opinion to you on something it's like a wall between the two of you. Now I don't mind if somebody has a different opinion to me, but when the opinion is out of harmony with God's Truth, I can't accept it, no matter who has it.

So the problem is that I felt like I was being drawn more and more into the acceptance of God's Truth about these issues, and more and more Mary was opposing it and there was active opposition in Mary towards where God was leading our soul. So we had to have quite a number of conversations about that and how much that was actually blocking any flow between us as well.

Mary: Yes and I would have to say that is probably the issue that caused me to behave differently. It wasn't actually that I thought, "Yes! Media! Rock on! Let's embrace this!" I went, "You know what, this is causing so much pain in my life in terms of my connection with God and my connection with my soulmate, I have to do something differently, and I have to start accepting some truth. And that is - hey I am living this life. I am here, I am saying I'm Mary Magdalene, and unless I think I'm going to change that, which I don't, maybe you're going to have to face facts and reality. It's a truth that's not going to go away. What, do you think the media's just going to go, 'Oh we'll forget those guys,' especially as more and more people start listening, which I believe will happen."

So I had to face the fact that this is an issue that's not going to go away and it's causing pain in my life. So I started liaising with the guys in New Zealand, and the first emotion that I had to work through was this feeling that I'm not allowed to say what happens and this is about my will.

Jesus: Can I just say, I'm saying to Mary at this point, "Whose life is it that they want to interview? Like it's yours, isn't it? So how can you then say, from a logical perspective, that you're not going to say what happens? It's your life; you're allowed to say exactly what happens. If they have to jump over some hoops and jump around some tyres and roll over a bar and everything just to interview you, then that's what's going to have to happen to interview you; you're allowed to say what the person has to do."

Mary: Yes and this is a part of me that is not well developed - my understanding of my own will. I feel that if I make anyone uncomfortable, I must modify my will and so I really had to process that because I'm the person liaising with these guys, and it did take six months for them to arrive here \- or four or five months - and I feel strongly it was because I was working through these emotions. I kind of went through a bit of interaction, and I had to feel this yucky feeling I felt of almost guilt, of just saying, "No, we're going to have to record you, and this is the stipulation."

So I worked through some of that emotion, but I still didn't think that I would be involved in filming; I made no promises that I would be involved in the filming. This was also a really good step for me because in the past, I have always thought, "Well you know what, it's the right thing to do." What, it's just going to be is Jesus saying he's Jesus, and how unsupportive is it of that, am I, if I just sort of sit back and go, "You know what I'm just too afraid to do it"? So I just forced myself because it was the right thing to do.

This is also not embracing my own will. And I see you guys do this about things. It's not actual soul progress. I maybe did deal with some fear, I dealt with enough emotion to realise emotionally what I'm talking about now, but it really wasn't very productive. I could have faced the truth about what was happening inside of me a lot earlier, and been more honest because I realised that based on God's Laws, and based on spirit attraction, if I went into this new interaction with the same emotions that I had in the previous ones, I was only going to attract negative spirits. And could I really say then that if it all turned out negatively that it was just based on how corrupt the media is? Or maybe it has something to do with me, and what I attract, and the causes are something to do with my soul?

So, this is a long story, isn't it? I didn't think it was going to be this long! (Laughter) But anyway, we get to a couple of weeks before these guys are arriving and I'm still deciding if I'm in the right space. But this is beautiful for me because for the first time maybe in my life I feel like I have a choice \- it's most loving if I'm in a crappy space to not participate and it's okay if I say I'm not going to participate. This is me starting to understand the truth about my will.

Also, I began to see, as I did those things and was more humble to the emotions that it was bringing up, and we had some beautiful discussions about having faith in the error and how much I would just believe that it was going to go badly, and what were the emotions that were driving this feeling? And I actually had some big cries about feeling disillusioned and it was all going to be terrible.

Jesus: And we also had some discussions, didn't we, about how you wanted to feel that it was all going to be terrible before it began, and that way you could justify not doing it in the first place.

Mary: I had an investment in this belief: it was helping me avoid fear. So right before they came, I realised, okay, I can do this. If I do it though, I have to not try and control anything apart from just be myself and I realised ethically this is the most loving thing to do. If I be myself: here I am, this is who I am, this is my experience, don't try to analyse what they're going to do with it, because actually, that's an expression of their free will and they're allowed to do whatever they want with it. And if I have any angst about it, there's an error in me and I realised I could go into this interaction one, choosing it, and also two, choosing to say, "No I don't want to do that, no I don't want to answer that question, no I don't want to be filmed in that way." I'd never had that feeling before either; I always felt they're powerful because I'm afraid, and I should do what they want.

Suddenly I had this new feeling that actually, no, I can just be myself and I can say yes or no to being there, and when I'm there I can say yes or no to answering a question or doing what they want. This was awesome! (Laughs) And I began, because I'm processing through this, to realise how much faith I had in error, and new truth started to be exposed to me.

We had the first interaction with the guys from New Zealand and that was it: I was just me, there was no facade, I was just there; here I am, this is who I am \- and actually just because everyone else thinks I'm a freak, I'm not a freak, and I'm not going to act like I'm trying to control how you think I might be freaky or not - I'm just me, and this is who I am.

And I had so much fun. It was great! I loved those guys, you know. We got to have some good chats, and it was lovely.

7.2.5. Mary's wardrobe choice for the interview with the New Zealand media

Jesus: Mary was there, sitting there in her crocs and slippers. (Laughter)

Mary: Oh yes! Can I tell that part of the story too? Because it is a long story now. (Laughs) But I can't say I'm completely healed of these emotions, obviously. So on the day they were coming, I still had a lot of fear going on in my body, and I couldn't figure out what to wear at all because it was freezing and we were going to be outside. I didn't realise that I'd left half my clothes in the Kyabra packing and so I was like, "What! I don't have any winter clothes! What am I going to wear?" Fear, fear, fear.

Anyway in the end I found something, rushed outside, but I didn't have anything on my feet, so I just pulled my bed socks on and AJ's old crocs from beside the front door (laughter), and sat down. And here I am, being myself but there's still fear in me, because I said, "You're not going to film my feet, are you?" (Laughter) "Because, this is not really working with the outfit." (Laughter) They said, "No, no, no, no, it's all close ups." Okay.

And this was just such a beautiful, beautiful lesson for me about how much my soul is in play in these interactions because what happened during the filming was the producer took a couple of snaps, and right at the end Igor took a snap of us all together. What's in that photo? Bed socks and crocs! (Laughter) What went up on the Internet I found out later? Mary in bed socks and crocs (Laughter) and then people were commenting on the crocs! (Laughter) And I was like, "Wow! This is so tailor-made, people can see exactly my hole and they are triggering it."

So that was a really powerful, like silly, goofy lesson of reinforcing to me that, hey, God's Laws do really work \- like I was thinking my soul had no power in this situation, really essentially my faith was: it doesn't matter who I am, what I do, how I feel, this situation is going to end this way, in a bad way - and in this whole experience I began to see no, it's really different to that. If I'm humble, if I embrace my will - not in a negative way, trying to control everything - but just to be myself, really amazing things can start to happen.

I thought the truth was the media is corrupt and we'll always be freaks forever. Now that might be true (laughs), I'm not sure yet, but the real truth, God's Truth, is if I embrace this lesson, this situation with humility, I will grow, no matter what else happens. And that is so powerful: that I will grow if I honour God's Laws, if I use my will in harmony with love, if I'm humble, if I'm truthful, and loving, then I will grow, I will have more capacity to love, more capacity to be close to my soulmate and to God and that's what happened.

Now that is having faith in a truth whereas before all I could see was the error and I used my will according to that error and since then there's like been an explosion of media and I'm still not without fear, I'm still going, "Oh!" People want to put us on live daytime television, prime time television in England, and I'm thinking about, "What am I going to wear?" (Laughter)

Jesus: Not the crocs!

Mary: (Laughs) No I'm freaking out more about how am I going to be myself in a situation where I can feel so many people are watching me? But I certainly have faith that if I go into it with humility, you know what, it doesn't really matter if twenty million people think, "She's a bit flaky" if I've grown and that's the truth. So I hope that story fitted with the lesson. (Laughs)

Audience: (Laughter) (Applause)

Jesus: You see the faith in the error causes the exercise of your will towards the error, it causes you to think that truth is the error, and it causes you to not be humble to more truth, and as a result in the end you're just going to be feeding addictions, feeding all the things that in the end are not going to get you any closer to God. So the problem that we face is looking at all of the areas of our life where we believe the error is true. That's the problem we face.

Mary: And we act accordingly to that, we don't challenge that with truth.

7.3. Having faith in error prevents prayer

Jesus: Now the reason why we've talked about this with faith and prayer is because the biggest area in your life that is affected by this problem is the issue of prayer. You will not pray while you have faith in errors about God; you won't be able to generate the appropriate soul-based feelings about God or about yourself in order to pray.

So for example, many of you have faith in the belief that you are a bad person, now that prevents a flow of love between yourself and God; because you think you're a bad person, you stop people's love from entering you, you stop God's Love from entering you. That's a faith in an error that needs to go if you're ever going to ever even receive Love from God; so it needs to be confronted, the error needs to be confronted rather than just believed.

Some of you believe that you are better than other people, some of you have that belief. It's evident in your day-to-day life and how you treat other people; you will have to confront that belief, that faith in the error. You're not better than other people from God's perspective, you're the same as other people from God's perspective. You have to confront that error and have faith in a different truth if you're ever going to actually receive Love from God, and if you are ever going to demonstrate love towards your neighbour.

8. Prayer requires a development of love, will, humility, faith and a desire for truth

Mary: Could we give some background on how we started to talk about these five aspects in relation to prayer, babe? Because it's actually something that you talked to me about, wasn't it, a little while ago?

Jesus: Yes would you like to relay it?

Mary: Yes, you're happy for me to do that?

Jesus: Yes.

Mary: So the other day I had a bit of a meltdown and I realised that ...

Jesus: As Mary does sometimes.

Mary: As I do and you'll get to see it on camera because we were filming a Padgett message discussion. (Laughs) We were talking about receiving God's Love and acting in harmony with God's Love, and I was saying, "Look if you just ask for the Love it changes everything. I feel like it makes you more sensitive." Basically the feeling that was inside of me during the discussion that was making me tense and then meltdown, was the feeling like, "If only five years ago I had just asked for the Love, the way I ask for the Love now, everything would have happened differently." And I feel like, "Argh" with myself that I didn't because like I said to you earlier I feel ashamed about a lot of the things that I did when I lacked humility and all of these kinds of things.

Jesus: And I said to Mary, "It's not true," because five years ago you were in a very different place: five years ago, when I met you, you had very little humility, you had very little desire for truth, you were exercising your will and faith in a direction of error almost constantly, and all of those things had to be addressed before you would actually long for God's Love.

Mary: Because I have received a lot of God's Love in my two thousand years of life - a lot - but in the last five years, in the last thirty-four, thirty-five years, I haven't received that much, guys and I see that there's a lot of focus in everyone of like trying to get it right, and trying, "Argh." This is why sometimes you panic when new truth is presented and you're like, "Hang on, let me control the flow of truth here, explain it to me a bit more," rather than just allowing that panicky feeling because I feel like everyone's trying to meet the bar and get it right or think they've already got it, when actually the truth being presented is confronting the fact that they haven't already got it.

So I said to my dear soulmate, who is so patient and kind when I have meltdowns (laughs), "Well what happened?" Now I feel like I can long and I receive God's Love, every time but you know I didn't ask for four years, I just didn't ask. "What was that about? And how did I get to this point where suddenly I feel like I can ask and receive?" And he said to me, "Well you weren't really looking at those other aspects within you that were causing you to be so shut down." And really when we talk about prayer, we have to talk about these things - the loving use of our will, the truth and humility.

Jesus: Yes, obviously we are capable of praying right from the time we hear about God and that God has Love to give us; we are capable of doing it but the problem for most of us is that we try it once or twice or whatever and it doesn't seem to work, so we then think, "Well either what AJ's saying is not true or maybe it's true but it's only true for certain people or maybe it's true but he hasn't given us all the details and it's all his fault that it's not happening."

Mary: Or, "I have to just deal with all my mum and dad stuff, and have a feel ..."

Jesus: "And then it might start happening."

Mary: Or, "Actually maybe this little feeling, maybe that was God's Love."

Jesus: The feelings you get from spirits, maybe they were God's Love: we often tell ourselves that, and many of you are doing that too; you're telling yourself that the love that you are receiving or have been receiving is from God but it's only been from spirits feeding your addictions. So we have a tendency to do all of these justifications and then what we finish up doing is - after these justifications occur - we have this tendency either to give up, or to just feel that it's all just rubbish anyway, or we go into this place of self-attack, where you're saying, "There must be something wrong with me. Like the prayer says that I am the pinnacle of God's creation, but I feel like I'm the dregs of God's creation and maybe that's what the problem is." And we go through lots of different issues. We have a tendency to feel about some of these issues but we also have a tendency to deny the feelings about those issues.

Now as a result, we have yet to learn humility, we have very little desire or passion for truth, we have yet to exercise our will in harmony with love, even in harmony with love of ourselves, let alone love of anyone else, and we have faith in the error. Now that's the place we start, that's the position we're in when we start this process: we have these qualities that are all undeveloped in us, or misapplied; they're all going somewhere in some direction that's out of harmony with the proper exercise of these particular qualities.

As a result of those qualities being exercised out of harmony with love, out of harmony with truth, and our will also being exercised in the same direction and our faith in the error being present, we are going to have to go through a series of experiences that correct that position before we receive Love.

So for example you cannot receive Love if you believe God does not exist at all \- you can receive Love if you believe that God might exist - but if you actually feel in your heart that God doesn't exist at all and you're not going to let go of that position, no matter what, you will not receive God's Love. It's as simple as that but if you're willing to accept that there is the potential that God exists and ask for Love under those circumstances, you can receive God's Love. In other words you're willing to experiment: one is having faith in an error, the error being, "God does not exist", and the faith being, "I believe with all my heart God does not exist"; the other is having faith in a truth or at least allowing the potential of such a truth to exist, and that allows an opening of your soul, and therefore something can flow.

And this is what we do with most of these qualities (humility, truth, will, faith and love) - we do not develop them. If we're honest with ourselves, the majority of us want love, is that not true? The majority of us want love if we're honest with ourselves; the majority of us do want love. We have some misgivings about it, many of us, like we're worried that it might control us, or we're worried that the person who loves us might want to control us, and so forth, which are all misgivings that we have, but in the end a lot of the times we do want some love, that is the quality that we want. But we are unwilling to develop the qualities required to receive it.

In other words, we're unwilling to shift our faith away from the error or we're unwilling to use our will in harmony with the love that we've already received.

Having faith in the error and not using will in a loving direction prevents sincere prayer

In other words, we receive a little bit of Love and then that Love tells us that we've got to go to our partner and tell him the truth that five years ago I cheated on her or him and we feel unwilling. We don't want to do that, it's going to create a mess; it might break up our relationship. "You know it happened five years ago anyway, now it's all past, dead and buried now. The other person that we cheated on our partner with has gone on their merry way and it's all over now anyway." We might tell ourselves all these stories: in other words we're not using our will in harmony with love or truth, we're not being humble to what will happen if we just fully disclose our life, even to our partner.

8.1. Examining personal growth

Jesus: What the majority of us do is we want the Love but we're unwilling to do the rest of the things required in order to continuously receive it and that's our problem: that's why we don't receive much of it and that's why we don't grow.

So one way to work out whether this has been happening in your life is to look at your personality and character five years ago, if it's been five years since you've heard about receiving Love; look at your personality and character now, right at this point in time, now, and compare your personality and character and how you relate to other people, how you relate to your children, how you relate to your partner, how your relationship with God is, and be honest with yourself - what do you find?

Now a person who has started to develop these qualities will always find that there was growth; a person who has not really developed much in these qualities will find that really, substantially, they are much the same person that they were five years ago in the way they feel inside of themselves and the way that they relate to other people and in particular the way they think about and feel about God.

Now if you're honest with yourself about that, if you make this comparison between those two time points, and you do the comparison, not for self-criticism or self-judgement, but just for a point of honesty; just to do it because you need to see the truth about whether you've changed. If there has been little or no change in your true character and nature and the way in which you interact with others, then I suggest to you, you've heard a lot of truth, but you've applied very little of it and the main reason why you've applied very little of it is because of these five main qualities that need to be developed \- you're not wanting to develop one or more of them.

9. The science of prayer

Jesus: Now, we can't expect to pray and receive Love while we refuse to develop certain aspects of our nature which are a part of the qualities of love. We can't expect to continuously do that. So there are conditions under which we cannot receive Divine Love.

Now most of us don't even want to believe that: we want to believe that if we ask for Love we'll always get it no matter what, we want to believe even that when we ask that we're even being sincere. What I'm saying to you is when we have a sincere pure desire to feel love enter our soul, we will receive it but it has to be a sincere, pure desire to do it and if we're unwilling to develop these qualities, how can we say we have a sincere, pure desire to do it, to receive that love? We can't, we might think we do, but we don't and we need to change that and be more realistic with ourselves.

9.1. Receiving Divine Love is dependent upon our will

Jesus: And this is a part of the science of prayer. There are conditions under which communication with God, which remember yesterday we suggested was a flow of Love between God and ourselves, there are times when that cannot happen because of how we have exercised our will - your will is more powerful than God's Love.

Now that didn't go down well. (Laughter) Now I'm not saying that from a power perspective, it's more powerful, what I'm saying is the way God constructed your soul is this: He gave you the ability to choose what enters it and He gave you this ability and this ability is within you; you can reject anything from entering it. This also means that you can personally reject God's Love from entering your soul. In that way, your soul is more powerful than God's Love as respects to your soul, not as respects to the rest of the Universe - God's Love is much more powerful there than your soul - but as respects your own individual soul, what you have enter it, and what you have exit your soul, is completely under your personal control, your soul's personal control.

God Himself will not force anything to enter you: God will not manipulate your will. Many of you say, "I'm afraid that if I receive God's Love that I'll have to do what God wants me to do." No, God's not like that; God will not even manipulate your will to do anything, even after you've received the Love and the reality is you will not receive Love unless your soul is open to its reception. In other words, you have complete control over whether God's Love enters you or not, no one else has control over that; even God does not have control over that, you're the person with control over it.

And every time you think you're longing for God's Love and don't feel it and don't feel it enter you, it's because your soul is exercising its control, not because of any other reason. There's no magical thing going on from God's perspective. God's not going, "Yes I don't think I will give her Love right at this moment because I just don't feel like it." There is always control being exercised by your own soul over the experience of Love flowing into your soul.

9.2. Prayer creates more humility

Jesus: In this regard you must understand one of the primary sciences of prayer: remember true prayer opens the hole in the soul - remember I drew yesterday a circle and I said imagine that's your soul; it creates an opening in your soul so that Love can flow in - that's what prayer does. Prayer will also automatically as a result of it, and its nature, open any hole in your soul to allow any error to flow out; that's humility. Prayer, true prayer, creates more humility; it is one of the sciences of prayer, true prayer does that - so if it hasn't been happening then it hasn't been true prayer, it's only been just an intellectual concept of prayer.

Prayer creates an opening in the soul, allowing Love to flow in (top) and error to flow out (bottom)

9.3. Developing a sincere longing for God's Love

Mary: Could I ask a clarifier?

Jesus: Yes.

Mary: So these five qualities that you've raised with us this morning.

Jesus: These ones here (humility, faith, will, truth and love).

Mary: Yes, if we acknowledge that these five qualities are somehow related to prayer, are they part of this building on each other process, or are they pre-requisites for actual opening of the soul to a sincere longing?

Jesus: See I would not call them pre-requisites so much as aspects or qualities that are required for it to happen; pre-requisites sort of suggest that you've got to do it before you receive anything. What I'm suggesting is you have to do this as you're receiving it, not before, but as; in the moment of reception this has to be the case.

So if in the moment of your desire for God's Love you also have no exercise of your will in any positive direction towards love, then of course it's going to be your intellect praying, it's not going to be your soul having a feeling of desire for God's Love.

Mary: I feel as adults we're very afraid of the sensation of longing. Most of us as children have experienced a feeling of longing and often been disappointed or something's happened and we shut down this very emotional and opening sensation of longing.

9.3.1. An analogy of a child wanting a lolly

Jesus: Can I just say, do you remember when you were a kid, and you wanted a candy or a lolly bar, something that was your favourite one? Do you remember that "no" really wasn't an option from your parents? You remember that? There was just this, "Ah! I want it," and they say, "Shut up or I'll belt you," and you still can't shut up! (Laughs)

Mary: And you're thinking about it, you can almost taste it. It's like your focal point.

Jesus: All of your desires are focused on it so much that you can't even stop yourself from doing it even when you're threatened with violence. Did you notice that when you were a child? Now you have to be threatened with violence and it carried out a number of times before you probably shut up. That's how strong the suppression of your will had to be before you started suppressing your own desire and what I'm suggesting to you is that's the kind of desire that needs to be involved in prayer, exactly that.

10. Prayer requires a development of love, will, humility, faith and a desire for truth (continued)

Mary: And this is where I feel like we can't kid ourselves sometimes when we say, "Yes I'm praying," when there's not a really heart opening process involved; that's what true prayer is - a very, very sincere opening thing, which is why I asked the question about the five qualities because I can't discern where they fit together. I can't seem to pray unless I feel, or I desire to pray and then I'm these five qualities (love, truth, humility, faith and will), or I'm these things and then I'm praying but they all seem to be together inside of me.

Jesus: But the difference is that you can't actively use these things out of harmony with love and expect to receive Love: so you can't actively be proud or arrogant and expect to receive Love, you can't actively believe in the error and expect to receive Love, you can't actively use your will out of harmony with love and expect to receive more Love, you can't actively have faith in an error and expect to receive more Love. So we need to soften to these things in order to receive and these things are all going to assist us to receive in fact.

10.1. Developing the five qualities rather than focusing on addictions

Jesus: And what I suggested to Mary was, "You don't have to worry about your addictions, you don't have to worry about your fears, you don't have to worry about anything else other than these five qualities for the rest of your life, really."

You don't have to worry about working out whether you did the right thing, the wrong thing, whether you're making a mistake, whether you should do an experiment, don't do an experiment; you know all the intellectual gymnastics that you've been doing? I don't do it. All I worry about are those five things: every single decision that I'm faced with at every single moment, all I ask myself is about those five things - that's it. And I do it whether I want to do it or not because I know if I don't want to do it, I'll be triggered into some kind of emotion that will expose to me the reason why I didn't want to do it.

So if I don't want to use my will in harmony with love, I sit there and go, "Wow, I don't want to use my will in harmony with love now, right now. I just want to close down and stop being open." That's my use of my will out of harmony with love. "Wow there's something going on here for me." Admit the truth to myself about those five qualities and there's a very high likelihood you will never be stagnant for the rest of your life; you'll continuously grow.

Mary: So in the front of my journal now I have written, "Are my actions humble, in harmony with God's Truth, faithful to truthful things rather than erroneous things, and in harmony with love?" If my actions are arrogant, or resistive, are avoiding a truth, if they have faith in error-based things and if they are unloving, then I cannot grow.

Jesus: And I am using my will actively to be in disharmony with all of God's Universal Laws.

Mary: Which is a lot simpler than trying to analyse what addiction is at play because the addictions get exposed in me so rapidly now.

Jesus: If you focus on developing those five qualities from a pure, sincere perspective, you'll find every addiction will be confronted, every one; the whole reason why we don't do it is because we don't want our addictions confronted. If you think about how many opportunities you've had to tell the truth about your personal life in the time that you've known me and yet you've not even told the truth about your personal life to your own partner, then you'd go, "Well obviously I don't have much of a love for truth; haven't developed that yet. Obviously I'm not humble to what might happen, to what might occur when I tell them the actual truth of how I feel; I'm not humble to the results, so I don't want to be either." Be honest.

Then ask yourself, would you like your future to be different? Because if you would like your future to be different, you're going to have to develop these qualities ; it'll be forced upon you, not because of somebody else forcing it upon you, but because without developing these qualities no change will actually take place to your soul and if you want to change, these qualities have to be developed - it's as simple as that.

10.2. Developing the five qualities are essential for growth

Jesus: So I'm not telling you what you have to do to develop them, I'm just saying they have to be developed if you want to change and if you want to have a relationship with God at any point in time in the future to the point of at-onement with God, these qualities must change; they must grow.

Mary: It's the growth in those qualities. Often I'm so involved in a process and change happens and I can't really understand exactly what's happened because it's all been so emotional - but what I can now see from the discussion that we had is that, remember earlier I said I was "the rock" when we met five years ago; there wasn't just one blocked emotion; it was like total soul constipation. (Laughter)

Jesus: We were driving in the car this morning, and she doesn't want me to repeat it but I will. She said it was like stools of constipation popping out of her. (Laughter) I thought that was a wonderful imagery. (Laughter)

Mary: Probably not that I want you to be having about me, but anyway, my soul was all very blocked up, and it has been the developing of those qualities that has softened me enough in order to have a longing. And so it doesn't have to take you five years, it just took me that long, but really focusing on those qualities, which I didn't realise that's what I was doing. But at every turn really I was developing humility, more and more desiring to face truth, especially about myself, and the issues of faith and love. Finally, really this idea that I have a will - my will to please others and to get their approval, was really how I was using my will - and really coming to understand the pain of that and how much little that meant I was actually expressing my own self and my own will. I think that was the final missing link for me actually then longing, really longing to God, using my will in harmony with those things; to ask for God's Love, to further refine me with that Love.

10.3. Fear prevents the development of the five qualities

Jesus: So one of the things that I have mentioned all the way through is this error and fear-based thing - so let's just remind you of that before we go to our break \- it's our desire to stay in that state of fear that causes the lack of development of every single one of these qualities.

So with Mary I've just simplified it right down to one thing: I've said that all of these qualities will naturally develop as you receive Love. So as you receive Love there will be a development of these qualities because in the moment of receiving Love one of these qualities has to be developed - one or more, and usually all of them has to be developed to receive Love. And they would all confront fear, and if you're unwilling to feel fear - or even can we say better than that \- if you do not desire to feel your fear, if you have no desire to feel the fear that you have within you, then at some point the fear will influence every single one of these qualities.

Mary: Remember how I said I didn't ask for Love for four years? That's because I knew that I would ask for Love and it would confront every one of my fears, just the asking. I guess I knew that from a soul perspective, being who I am, but certainly starting to ask confronts fear in all of those areas.

Jesus: So if you believe you are looking or seeking Divine Love, and you think you're praying, and you know you're not receiving it, or it feels like you're not receiving it, there's only really one question you have to ask yourself - what am I afraid of? Right now, what am I afraid of? That's the only question you have ask yourself because you'll always be afraid of something; that's the only thing that is governing what's happening.

It'll be the way you're using your will: like you're afraid to use your will in a positive direction; or you are afraid of changing your belief systems, you want to believe in the error; you're afraid of believing in the truth, you want to believe in the error; or you want the truth to be error even; or you don't want to be humble, you don't want to feel - you don't want to have to feel the emotion that is really there, not the ones that you would like to be there, all the ones that tell you that you're a nice, kind, lovely person? You know those ones, those emotions? You like feeling those ones, and all the ones that tell you that mum and dad, they were the persons who did all the damage to you - you want to feel all those emotions. But you don't want to feel all the emotions that are there because of the exercise of your own will out of harmony with love, the things that tell you that you've actually being a crappy person in your life at times, where you've done a lot of damage to other people and you've harmed them, and you chose to do it, you chose to do it even when you had a different choice, you chose to do it - you don't want to feel those emotions. That's the lack of humility.

These are the kind of things that are present that will stop prayer, well, it won't even happen; prayer won't even happen with those emotions because to pray there has to be that sincere flow of love between you and God; that's the way God communicates with you.

Mary: But the beauty, isn't it, is when we have the courage to pray like that, with humility and desiring truth and really wanting to face fear, then suddenly God can enter the picture and it helps us so much and we begin to develop those qualities exponentially, don't we? Suddenly humility is growing and we're feeling the benefits of it and we're starting to feel how loving truth is and how much power it gives us to change, and we start to welcome those things, don't we?

Jesus: Yes.

Mary: It's like a snowball.

Jesus: Basically it's cutting out the fear from being our god and then making God our god and the development of these qualities our primary concern. For the majority of us, fear is our god and the development of these qualities is immaterial: they're immaterial because we only develop them when it doesn't interfere with our fear.

Mary: Can you see how that was the case with my story with the media? In that scenario fear was my god, and I was just under that dictate and that was what was ruling and governing that situation for me and essentially it governed a lot of the outcomes. And then when I said, "Hang on what's God's Truth about this situation? How can I be in harmony with God's Laws in this situation?" A whole other reality started to happen for me and that's because fear was no longer my god. I went, "Hang on, actually God's more powerful than everything in this situation. What does God feel about this situation? How can I be more in harmony with that?" And, surprise, surprise, things got better.

Faith & Prayer Session 4 Part 2

11. The science of prayer (continued)

Jesus: I would really like to now focus on just talking about prayer itself and the effects on your soul, and why it is so essential for your soul and its future development. I feel that many of us still don't understand its importance; how essential it is for your future. I still see in many a desire to focus on the physical or what I would call the metaphysical, the so-called "spiritual", without the soul being involved and it's essential with prayer that the soul is involved.

11.1. God communicates through love

Jesus: So let's revise what we talked about a little bit yesterday. Remember we started last night with this aspect of communication - how God communicates, what's God's language. So God's language is?

Audience: Love.

Jesus: Love and because it's God's language, we could call it the Divine Love, or God's Love. So what God is teaching you is how to communicate in God's language. So in the end, the language that God would like you to speak in is your love, so this is human love, if you like; how we respond in return to God.

11.1.1. Divine Love transforms the human soul

Jesus: Now the flow of this love is going to determine all other things in your life: it's going to determine how much truth you get into at some point in your future, how much faith you have, how much you exercise your will, and in fact are totally conscious of your will, and how much humility you develop. It's going to determine all of the five things that we've mentioned before, those five qualities, all those feelings; it's going to open up every one of those feelings.

In addition, it's going to control the rest of your existence in terms of how much you're able to grow because without receiving Divine Love you cannot grow beyond the sixth dimension of the spirit world; you can never grow beyond that. And there are literally and there are going to be in the future billions of people who choose to not grow beyond that point because they refuse to receive Love from God.

Love from God is the transformational ingredient in your soul's transformation from being one type of creature to another. So we were all created as human souls, we have the potential to become more than that; so God has this beautiful creation with the human soul. Remember our human soul is the two halves combined, and there is God's Soul, which of course is infinite in nature and so much larger. Without this Love that flows into the human soul, this human soul is not capable of growth beyond a certain point by itself; we are completely dependent on God's Love for our future continued everlasting growth.

The flow of God's Love from God's Soul (above) into the human soul (below) transforms the human soul

11.1.2. Prioritising our relationship with God and our soulmate

Jesus: So this flow of love is the essential thing to understand: this is also the essential thing to aim for in your future - to have a continuous flow of love between yourself and God, and eventually to have a continuous flow of love between yourself and the other half of yourself, your soulmate. They are the two biggest and most beneficial things that you could ever develop in your own life. Most of us don't believe that; that's why you're not developing those two things. If you truly believed it, you would be developing those things above every other thing that you do; you would be spending more time doing that than you would spending time doing everything else.

Remember last year I gave a talk about "What Is Your Treasure?" (20121216 The Human Soul - What Is Your Treasure?) I talked about having this analysis of the way in which you spend your time because it's a very good indicator of how important you find things. The majority of us spend very little time developing our relationship with God and many of us spend even less time developing our relationship with our other half of our soul - we spend a lot of time doing and very little time in development.

So you know all these self-development courses that you can go on? Well God is going to put you through the biggest self-development course of your life, (laughter) but it needs to be engaged with your will; your will has to engage it. God will not force you through this course; every step of the way God is not going to make you do anything - it has to be driven by your will.

So prayer, this communication between yourself and God, is completely driven by your will. If it's not happening, if there's not a flow of love coming out of you towards God, or not a flow of Love coming out of God towards you - and it's certainly coming out of God - but it's not entering you, then it's to do with how you are exercising your will. We must understand that; we've got to stop blaming God for us not receiving God's Love, and see it as a direct result of how we are exercising our own will; and you need to stop blaming your soulmate for you not feeling your soulmate's love. You must see that it's an exercise of your will; you see the more you exercise your will in the direction of love, the more you will receive these kinds of love and the more you will develop.

Now if this is the communication method, then of course it's imperative that we begin to develop this communication method in our day-to-day life. So the communication, the flow of love between ourselves and God, it's imperative that we spend time having this flow occur. With regard to the love that we express with our friends and neighbours and in particular with our other half of our soul, it's imperative that we develop the flow of love. Stop being afraid of love and start developing it; allow yourself to experience it, it will soften you immensely - it's the cause of all other development that you'll ever achieve.

And remember God's Love transforms not only yourself in your current state into something that's pure, but will continue to transform you in an infinite manner if you continue to desire it. So because our love is finite, if I'm expressing love to Mary - and it's only my love that I'm expressing to Mary - there's a finite limit to how much love I can give because I'm a finite individual and there's a finite limit to how much Mary can currently receive because she's currently a finite individual. But if we both grow in harmony with God's Love, God's Love expands our soul and therefore makes it so that we can also share a more infinite style of love with each other that's continuously growing.

So between a soulmate couple there would be no such thing as a stagnant relationship if we did this; there would be no such thing as falling out of love after you've gotten in love because the love would continue to grow and continue to grow exponentially as we receive Divine Love. Divine Love is causing our soul to stretch and expand into a new creature, and we must understand this; even from an intellectual perspective, we must start to gain some kind of faith about that process, if we're ever going to engage our will to do it.

This communication is the most important thing you can learn about prayer; this flow of love.

12. Audience questions

12.1. God's Love cannot be lost once it is received

Jesus: Jenny, would you like to ask a question about it? Okay. It's not a fear-based question is it? She's considering. Have the mic and let me see whether it's a fear-based question.

Participant Female: I think it's constructive.

Jesus: Fire away.

Participant Female: Can you lose Divine Love by your denial?

Jesus: Yes see that's a fear-based question. If God is infinite, and God's Soul is infinite, and God's Love is infinite, and also ever-present, then logically what's the answer to your question?

Participant Female: No.

Jesus: Okay, so that's it, that's the answer. (Laughs)

12.2. Determining truth through a relationship with God

Jesus: Can you see how many times you can determine the answer to your own questions just by using a bit of logic? And you've got to ask yourself why is it that you want another person to confirm your answer? We are addicted to having other people confirm our answers - that we get directly from God most of the time - and that's all about an addiction, an addiction to approval.

The reason why many of us cannot hear God is because we receive a bit of God's Love, we get the truth on a certain subject, the truth confronts the concepts of the people around us, and so we want their approval and instead of allowing ourselves to feel that emotion, instead of allowing ourselves to be humble to that emotion, we ask a question and another question and another question and another question, when we know the answers to many of the questions we're asking already. We just don't trust ourselves because we feel too afraid to trust ourselves; we're worried that we're going to be the only person standing up for the truth that we already believe in, and so what we do is we want some support from somebody else, some confirmation.

Now I haven't had the luxury of any confirmation from another person with anything that I've learnt my entire life, in two thousand years: that's why I'm quite certain about what I've learnt, because when you have a relationship with God, you get confirmation through that relationship and if you learn to have faith in it and trust it, that's all you need. It's lovely when you meet up with other people who have the same relationship with God, and who have the same experience that you've had in terms of the answers to the questions, but you don't need that to happen.

The reason why many of you are not sharing what you've learnt thus far is because you're afraid and you want confirmation from people that are never going to confirm the truth of what your experience is; they're not going to confirm it because they haven't had the experience; they're only ever going to confirm it if they went and chose to go through the experience. We're so afraid to be the only one.

You look at all the primary discoveries on this planet that have ever occurred, there was usually an initial person who was the only one who believed it: the same applies to the medical profession, the same applies to the scientific professions, the same applies to all of the professions you can think of \- there was usually a first person. Do you think they had it easy, the first person? No.

13. The science of prayer (continued)

13.1. Prayer opens the soul to God's Love

Jesus: Okay so let's get back to the communication. So there's prayer - what does it do to your soul? What does prayer itself do to your soul? Not the reception of God's Love, but prayer.

Participant Male: Prayer opens my soul.

Jesus: So it opens your soul up to...?

Participant Male: God's Love, which He wants to give me.

Jesus: Yes, very good. So there's our soul, the container of the soul, and it creates an opening that was previously closed; that's the case. Previously it was closed because God didn't create you with an automatic opening to Divine Love; He gave you free will and you have to exercise that will in order to have this relationship with God - God's not forcing you into a relationship. You see if God created your soul with an automatic opening to Divine Love, then He would be forcing you into a relationship with Him and God's Love is so pure that He will never force you to do anything, including force you to receive His Love.

So God created your soul closed to God's Love: that's the opposite to what most people believe; your soul is created closed to God's Love for one primary reason - because He gave you the gift of free will and you can open your own soul and so the opening of your own soul is under your control.

So God created it closed, but with the potential of you opening it to the reception of God's Love and your decision to make the opening not only allows God's Love to flow in, but also creates an expression of love from your soul towards God.

Prayer opens the soul to give love to God and receive Love from God

Now this causes God a great deal of joy. I don't know if you felt it yesterday, but when I stated how much joy God gets from you feeling love for God, could you feel God in that moment? Many of you had the experience of feeling God in that moment confirm what I said to you; this feeling that comes from God that, "You are My child, I love you, and I love to get your love in return." Because it's the one thing that God can't take from you - mind you God is not going to take anything from you - but God has decided to not take this love from you but rather wait until you're ready and willing to give it.

13.1.1. The message about soul opening in the prayer given to James Padgett

Participant Female: I hear what you're saying that we have to ask for God's Love to flow in, and yet in the prayer it says, "I pray you will open up my soul to the inflowing of Your Love." Can you talk about that, please?

Jesus: Yes, remember that everything that we transmitted to Padgett isn't perfectly true: it was all based around his own emotional feelings and experiences as well; so every channelling that we gave to James Padgett was limited in its ability for James to understand, depending on his own emotional condition.

Now he wanted to feel like God was going to force him into doing something, and from his childhood \- he grew up in a Christian faith - he had this belief system about will, about having to give up your will for God and this belief system did have an impact on the channellings we gave to him.

The reality is Divine Love - as we said to him in another message in the Padgett messages, you can read a message from myself in the Padgett messages where I state categorically - that Divine Love does not open up the soul to receive Divine Love, I said that prayer opens up the soul to receive Divine Love. So there is a direct contradiction between that: my message in the Padgett messages and the prayer itself - so we must understand that.

13.1.2. God influences operations around us to encourage the opening of our soul

Jesus: However, God does have operations that surround us, not referring to the reception of Divine Love, but rather operations that God influences other people, other beings, other spirits and other people around us, to open up our soul, to cause the opening of our soul: in other words, God tries to influence, through the influence of other people that are already connected to God, to give us help to decide to open up our soul.

Mary: Yes even the operation of God's Laws I feel are there to help open us up to God's Love: so when I pray that part of the prayer, it's about me being sensitive to everything that's in play to open me up, that God's already put there to open me up to the Love.

Jesus: So God has placed Her Laws there to open up the soul, God has placed all of these spirit people who are now at-one with God to help you open up your soul, and to give you truth, to help you open up your soul. God also has provided laws like the Law of Cause and Effect, the Law of Attraction, and these other laws to cause the opening of your soul. So when you pray for God to open up your soul, you're actually praying to be sensitive to all of these things that are going to cause your soul to open but the reality is Divine Love itself will not force itself upon your soul - you have to make the choice to receive it; prayer is your choice to receive it, your choice to open up to receive.

13.2. Prayer is a longing to give and receive love

Jesus: Now this is the operation upon your soul that you must understand from a scientific perspective: without prayer your soul will not open, therefore it cannot receive; without prayer towards God your soul will not open to God and therefore cannot receive anything from God. Without prayer towards your other half - which remember is a feeling of love coming from you and a desire coming from you to receive and to give love to the other half of your soul - without that prayer coming out of your soul, exercised towards your other half, you will not receive love from the other half. You can't give it without being open to the reception; many of you believe you can give love without receiving any, or receive some without having to give any - and love doesn't work like that.

Mary: It's an important thing you're saying about longing, isn't it? That longing is not just the desire for love but the desire to give love.

Jesus: It's not just the desire to receive; it's the desire to give too, a longing for the relationship. You see if I long for a relationship with God, then that opens my heart to the relationship. If I long for a relationship with my other half, this opens my heart to the relationship. Remember I said these are the two biggest relationships that are going to affect the rest of your infinite development and in fact, without these relationships, no infinite development is possible, none - you get to a limited state of the sixth dimension, and that is it.

Mary: This is also why a lot of spirits in the sixth dimension are not with their soulmate - because they haven't developed this quality of longing. This is why also developing your relationship with God has so many benefits in helping you develop your relationship with your soulmate; because not only are you in that relationship with God dealing with the injuries that you have inside of you that block your proper perception of your soulmate or recognition of your soulmate, but you're also developing this quality of longing, which is so vital to that relationship.

Jesus: So let's say your soulmate comes along and does some things that you feel hurt by. If you still desire an openness to love, you will stay open to the hurt, you'll stay open to the potential of this hurt. Now with the relationship with God, we don't have to do that because God's never going to hurt us. So it's great when you're developing your relationship with God, when you're not receiving Love in your relationship with God, you know it's not because God doesn't want to give it, it's because you're blocked to the reception. The beauty of that is that even if you feel hurt by that, you know it's your own hurt, it's not God feeling bad about you.

So, if you think about the prayer and the effect that prayer has on your soul, basically what we're stating is that you've got this beautiful relationship with the Creator, and there's your half of the soul - let's say if you're a male, or female, it doesn't matter - you've developed a longing to receive and give love with God, which is your method of communication and the method by which you're going to establish a relationship with God.

13.3. God is perfect in giving and receiving love

Jesus: So we have this flow of love that begins and it will be dependent upon how much I'm willing to stay open to both the giving and the receiving of the love; God is perfect in giving and receiving love, God is a perfect giver and receiver.

God is perfect in giving and receiving love in our relationship with God

So if there is a blockage in the flow of this love between yourself and God, it can only be on your end - that's the only place it can be, something in you that blocks its flow.

Now remember we talked about fear and the influence of fear: if there's an influence of fear upon the soul - which comes with the accompanied influences of error, a lack of will, a lack of faith, a lack of truth - then of course that's going to have an effect of shutting down this feeling of love that's flowing between yourself and God, somehow on your end because God does not have any of these things.

Fear in the human half soul can block the flow of love between God and the half soul

God doesn't have a lack of will or a lack of faith or a lack of truth. God doesn't go, "Oh yes, you know, yes Vlad wants a relationship with me, but do I really want a relationship with Vlad?" (Laughter) "Maybe not." (AJ strokes his beard) "He needs to let his beard grow longer and I'll wait for some indiscriminate thing until he does something that is ..." No, God's not like that. People on the Earth are, are they not? They'll often be picky and choosy when they're going to have a relationship with you, but God is not like that. God desperately desires, and I don't think the word is "desperate" that I'm looking for, but ...

Mary: Deeply.

Jesus: Intensely desires is probably the better word, God intensely desires a relationship with you, God intensely desires to receive your love. So God has an intense desire to give you Her Love and receive yours and God is perfect in it, God is perfected in it; there is no blockage on God's end, God's not constipated with love using Mary's analogy. (Laughter)

Mary: I thought we were going to forget that analogy. (Laughter)

Jesus: Everyone will remember that. (Laughter) I hope anyway! Every time you go the toilet now you'll remember that. (Laughter)

So it's like we put this blockage up - which either blocks the outgoing love, which is the feeling of expression of our own love for God, or it blocks the incoming, the expression of God's Love for us - we are the persons who construct the blockages.

Now the difference between that and the relationship with our soulmate is that unfortunately, because we are both often not perfected in love at the same time, then it means that both of us could be blocked - and probably are blocked - towards the love flowing in one or both directions. Now that becomes quite confusing because how you do work out whether it's you that's blocked or the other person that's blocked? Well normally what we do is we say it must the other person! (Laughs) That's what we normally do, isn't it? But unfortunately often it's ourselves.

Fear creates blockages to giving and receiving love between ourselves and God and ourselves and our soulmate

Jesus: The beauty of developing our relationship with God is this relationship with God will unblock us and it's independent of God - in the sense that it's not dependent on whether God has got injuries or not because God has no injuries with regard to the giving and receiving of love - so if there's a blockage in the relationship, it's our end; we know straight away the problem is our end. As we repair these blockages in love on our end, we are automatically repairing the blockages of love towards our other half; if we're sincere that's what will exactly occur.

Now many of us are not sincere; we have fears and that causes us to not be sincere. So we don't repair the blockage of love and then we also notice that we're noticed that we're not receiving God's Love and that's usually because of our lack of sincerity to receive and give love.

13.3.1. An example of a participant who feels unable to give love to God

Participant Female: AJ I'm getting a bit disturbed and upset because I just don't feel as if I'd ever be able to give God any love. (Participant starts crying)

Jesus: Why do you feel that?

Participant Female: I feel as if I haven't got any to give.

Jesus: Why do you feel that?

Participant Female: I just do and also if I had any love to give Him, it would be so unworthy to give it to Him.

Jesus: Yes see that one is now a faith in an error.

Participant Female: It is, I know that.

Jesus: The first one is a resistance to an emotion, so you've just displayed two things: a lack of humility and a faith in an error. So let's talk about both of them and see how they play out: let's look at the first one. You said you don't feel... what were your words?

Participant Female: I don't feel as if I'm capable of giving God any love.

Jesus: So there is a resistance in you towards feeling that you are capable as a result of that emotion. So what would be the best course of action if you felt that?

Participant Female: It would be prayer.

Jesus: Wouldn't it be just to grieve that you feel like you're incapable of loving somebody? That would be humble, can you see that? Now it's interesting - as soon as you contemplate the fact that the blockage is your soul, straight away you get into an emotion you haven't gotten to in the four or five years that I've known you - isn't that interesting? All we have to do is contemplate what's going on in this relationship and before we know it, we're in an emotion that's blocked us to that relationship.

This emotion that you feel - that you're not capable of giving love to another person - is a blockage; it's not true, it's a feeling you have and it's also a fear you have but you need to allow yourself to feel it by just doing what you just did, having a bit of a cry about it, and in the end you might need a bit of long cry about it to release it.

The second thing, when you said, "I believe that my love isn't worthy," that's not a truth. It is another feeling you have but it's also a faith in an error in the sense that you're saying, "I'm not going to have this relationship with God because I'm not worthy to even begin it," rather than going, "I want to have this relationship with God and I'm willing to feel my own unworthiness in the relationship." So can you see how humility and faith are playing out even in your relationship with God?

Participant Female: So I've stopped myself because of the fear?

Jesus: Yes, you've stopped yourself because of your fear of how God will feel about you - which is not even real - and you've stopped yourself because of the fear that you are not capable - which is also not real - God created you to be capable. These are all false beliefs, not true; none of them are true but you currently believe them. So feel them, feeling them is humble; that's being humble to those feelings.

So allow yourself to contemplate the relationship potential, and then feel this feeling that you have in you that you're not worthy of giving God love, and then have a big cry about it. Get it out of you, get it out of your system; when you get it out of your system you'll have a sense, "Maybe I am worthy," and you'll desire the Love and some will flow and that will confirm your worthiness.

Participant Female: Yes it definitely blocks the desire, that's for sure.

Jesus: Exactly, what we do instead is we avoid these terrible emotions, these grieving-based emotions inside of us, and we go away going, "Oh yes, I think I'm longing for Love," when really we're not, or we go around thinking, "Oh I've tried to long for Love but I don't seem to get any and I've just to not worry about that." We convince ourselves out of our true emotions.

Participant Female: Well I feel now as if I judge myself as well.

Jesus: Yes, and that's another way of convincing yourself out of the emotion - judgement is a great way to avoid an emotion internally - if you judge yourself rather than feeling it, you do all sorts of things inside of your soul when you do that.

13.4. The benefits of focusing on developing love between ourselves and God

Jesus: So getting back to the love. So can you see that the development of love between yourself and God will make your life easier to help you develop your love between yourself and others? Because whenever you're interacting with another person, there are two lots of problems - you and them, whereas in the relationship between you and God there's only one problem - you. (Laughter)

Mary: Good news! (Laughter)

Jesus: And to be honest with you, I find that so good. (Laughter) Like that's how I feel because it means there's no confusion. I don't have to go, "Is it's God's fault or am I ...?" You don't even have to ask the question - is it God's fault or yours? It's just you know that the flow of love is not happening because of what's going on inside of you and therefore you've got to look at that, you've got to find that. It's simplifies everything.

Whereas with your relationship with your soulmate or even other people just generally, other people, children, parents, other people generally, there are two lots of issues: there are their feelings and your feelings and probably both of them are in error, and how do you determine which one has the error? Pretty hard. So I personally find that it's far better for me to focus on my relationship with God understanding who's got the error, and once I find that error then I look at my soulmate relationship and go, "If I've got this error with God, then it's highly likely I'm going to have it with my soulmate," So I find that very interesting.

See if I've got it with God and nothing's flowing and I go, "Okay, okay, if nothing's flowing because the feeling I have is ... whatever." Let's say it's unworthiness, the feeling of unworthiness, then I'm going to have the flow problem with my soulmate with unworthiness. So when she treats me like I'm unworthy, I have to question whether actually she's treating me like I'm unworthy or I just feel unworthy; because I know I've got this injury with God that I'm unworthy, so it's pretty highly likely I'm going to have the injury with my soulmate with unworthiness. I'll think it's all her fault but really it can't be because I've got the emotion of unworthiness, so therefore it's got to be partly to do with me.

So this helps me so much in my relationship with Mary and my relationship with everyone else: if you understand that one thing, you grow quite a lot more than you do if you don't understand it.

So if we can all understand that God is perfect in giving and receiving love and God wants to and wishes to perfect you in doing the same things and the reason why God wants and wishes for that is because this Divine Love is the basis of a relationship but it's also a substance that grows your soul, through which all other truth will be delivered to you; all other things in fact will be delivered to you through this relationship.

13.4.1. Experiencing ever expanding growth

Jesus: So from God's perspective, it's like God's going, "Please, please do this!" But God's not going to force you to do it but God's going, "Please do this because without this, the rest of your life is going to be stagnant when you hit the sixth dimension." That's it: you're going to be stagnant in your relationship with your soulmate, you're going to be stagnant in your relationship with other people, you're going to be stagnant and you think maybe safe but it's just going to be stagnant in every single part of your life. And God's saying, "That's not how I created you to be." How God created us to be is an ever expanding, infinitely growing being, and it's God's Love that gives us the capacity to do that; that's how God created us to be.

So God is saying to us constantly, "Receive my Love, have this relationship with me, give me your love," but do it based on what your will is and dependent upon on how much of your will is exercised doing this will be dependent upon how much you grow - you won't grow through some magical transformation.

13.4.2. Soul growth through the reception of Divine Love is progressive

Jesus: Now many of you, before I met you, were in, shall we call it the New Age movement? How many of you would classify yourself as being attached to the New Age movement before we met? So a good half to two thirds of the audience at least. In the New Age movement they tell you a number of things, which I've since told you are false (laughs) but unfortunately there's not much else I can do because they are false. (Laughter) But what I'm pointing to is that a lot of times in the New Age movement there are this underlying ideas and concepts that prevent you from understanding your potential and there is a belief in the New Age movement that magical things happen that cause magical transformations and in fact, in the New Age movement, the people who had these "magical transformations" are the people who are honoured; they are the people who are respected; they are the people who are listened to.

The reason why that is the case is because all that's happened is they've just been over-cloaked by a spirit and so what's happened is they've gone from being in like a first sphere state to being in like a third or fourth or fifth sphere or sixth sphere state in a "twinkling of an eye", as the Bible saying goes; like an instant type of magical transformation. And everyone on the Earth is fascinated by it, and it's not real.

If you really want to transform your soul there is no such thing as a magical transformation aside from the reception of Divine Love in your soul and that takes place over time. Now many of you are still searching for magical transformations and that's because we have addictions to things like glory or honour or approval or acceptance or wanting to feel unique and special and all those things but we need to be focused on the fact that there will be no magical transformation of our soul and the only transformation of our soul that is going to be everlasting is this relationship that's based on love with God.

Now we've met many people who are so addicted to this concept of a magical transformation that when we talk to them about love they have no interest in it whatsoever. Have you met people like that? And I find that quite sad because they don't understand what is going to affect the rest of their existence.

13.4.3. Determining the source of error in relationships

Jesus: So do we understand this process - on the whiteboard - of God being perfect at giving and receiving love? We understand who's blocking what with God? Me. Do we understand who's blocking what with a relationship with each other? Me and them. (Laughs) And how are we going to sort out what is me and what's them? My relationship with God is going to sort that out; focus on your own blockages first. Stop focusing on the other people! (Laughter) You still do that.

So when we see there's a problem with two of you in the audience, we notice it - one of you blames the other one, and the other one blames you. And we go, "Hmm, this is very interesting." From God's perspective you're both wrong. If you're ever going to learn to have God's perspective, you're going to have to see that you're both wrong, not one of you is wrong.

Do you notice that: that when we have an issue with another person, like even in our relationships, that we have a high tendency to first say that it's all you? "It's everything to do with you, darling. (AJ addresses Mary) There's something wrong with you, I don't know what it is. I can't tell. I can't be loving enough to determine what it is. I can't say it emotionally. I can't know," and this indicates that it's probably not Mary, but it's me.

The reality is when you truly love an individual you will have all of the qualities of humility, you'll have all the qualities of truth, you'll have all the qualities of faith while you're dealing with the individual and you will know as a result of that what the problem is and you will be able to help the individual in love if you truly knew the issue.

Now the majority of us are not in that state because we haven't refined that state because of \- why? Because the way we refine the state is by the relationship with God; without the relationship with God we can't refine that state. We can act in that state; we can try to be in that state intellectually, but we're not going to be there until we develop this relationship with God, which refines the state.

So we need to give up trying to correct each other and focus on correcting ourselves with our relationship with God; that's what we need to focus on first. Once we do that, we will be in the state, whether the other person has done it or not, to be able to offer the potential of love and offer love itself and the potential of truth to the other person because we're in this state; not for any other reason. Not for the reason that you've intellectually learned something and you're just parroting off a whole series of ideas and concepts; not because you think you know, you're talking the language of Divine Truth and to be honest with you, the language of Divine Truth is not English. So when you're talking in English you're not talking in the language of Divine Truth; you might use the terminology of Divine Truth but you're not really in Divine Truth. This is where we sort of fool ourselves; we fool ourselves and we start thinking that just because we're saying the words of Divine Truth it means that we understand it.

If you're not receiving and giving love constantly with God, you don't understand it yet \- that's the reality \- if this flow isn't happening with God, you're not understanding it. It doesn't matter how much intellectually you understand, you just don't get it yet and we notice that frequently. So that's the thing we need to remember.

13.5. Prayer tugs on God's Soul

Jesus: So getting back to prayer, prayer opens that process up. It has the effect of opening your soul but it also does something to God's Soul. What do you think it might do to God's Soul?

Participant Female: Does it expand His Soul as well?

Jesus: Well when we give our love to God it certainly does but the prayer, remember, is a longing to receive Love as well. So what does that do to God's Soul, do you think?

Participant Female: It must make Him very, very happy.

Jesus: It does, because now we want to establish a relationship with God, but it does something else to God's Soul. Any ideas?

Participant Female: It opens God to give us the Love?

Jesus: Well God is already open to giving the Love, so prayer doesn't open God's Soul because God's already open.

Participant Female: Does it inspire God's Love?

Jesus: You could say that, yes; it like tugs on God's Heart. It's like a tug, goes like, "God!" (AJ says in a high pitched voice and tugs his shirt; laugher) "Notice me!" (Laughter) God already notices you, but God loves that feeling coming from us. "God!" (Laughter) "Notice me." And God responds to that, strongly actually.

Isn't that the same when you have a relationship with somebody? Like if you fall in love with another person, as the saying goes, aren't you really going, "Here I am! Notice me! Notice me! Here I am!" A lot of times it's about that, isn't it? You want to give the person your love to them, but you notice them, but would also love them to notice you.

This feeling that we have, which is sort of like a tug on God, causes beautiful things in God's Soul actually to occur and the feelings that I get from God when I feel, when I communicate with God about these issues, are that God is overwhelmed by the concept that a new person is exercising their will to establish a relationship with God, their Creator. Because God has given you the gift of will that you don't have to do that and all of a sudden you're doing it without any force from God to do it and for God that is like a beautiful feeling inside of God's Soul.

As a result, God just wants to shower you with as much Love as you're capable of receiving in the moment and do you know what? That's why you get overwhelmed every time you receive it; that's why you probably will cry every time you receive it \- until you're at-one with God you will definitely cry, and even after then you'll probably be in joy every time you receive it because God has always got more Love to give you than you are capable of receiving at that particular moment.

An infinite Being is trying to give a finite creation of His, Love, so therefore every time this infinite Being showers you with Love, you are going to be overwhelmed. If you don't want to be overwhelmed then I suggest to you don't bother having a relationship with God or give up the idea that you can control being overwhelmed with God.

What I notice happens to some of you is that you receive just a dribble. Like we were down in Kentucky in New South Wales a few weeks ago, when we were talking to a couple and she started to receive Divine Love while we were talking with her, and she goes, "No, no! Stop now! Stop now!" (Laughs) And I'm going, "Why do you want to stop for?" She's crying, carrying on and I said, "You don't want to stop, just let it happen!" She says, "No, no," and she gets up and walks outside and that's how most of us are. Once we get overwhelmed by the process we just shut it down straight away; we're trying to shut it down from the moment it begins and we need to stop doing that; we need to give that up. Let yourself be overwhelmed \- it's nothing bad - it's only a judgement you have about being overwhelmed, that's all it is.

Okay, so if we understand that prayer is this flow process, we understand that it opens our soul, and point number three, if this is God's Soul, it's like a tug. It's very important to understand that this is what it's like for God - many of you believe that God doesn't notice you; many of you believe that God doesn't know what you're feeling, God doesn't really care too much about your life, and it's not true, it is not true - God notices every minute detail of your life, even when you don't want to have a relationship with God; so imagine what God notices when you do want one. Every little tiny tug gets a response from God, every time.

Mary: We're not generating a tug though, are we? It's an important distinction to make, isn't it? Our humility and our prayer generate the tug.

Jesus: Yes.

Mary: So we're not thinking ...

Jesus: It's not an intellectual thing.

Mary: ... "I want to tug you, God" (Laughter) "Come here! Give me the Love!" (Laughter) It's the feeling; the really prayerful longing that naturally generates the tug on God.

Jesus: So remember these are soul-to-soul transactions; they are not intellect-to-soul transactions.

Mary: And sometimes I feel people's soul is, "Come here, I deserve Love," (Mary says forcefully); that's an emotional feeling you have.

Jesus: Yes you won't get any under those circumstances obviously; yes, obviously you won't. It's the same whenever you try to have a demand on another person, where you say, "Come here," and force them, that kind of feeling that you have; it's not going to generally get a very good response, or if it does get a good response it means the other person has got quite a lot of addictions to their being approved of and so forth, which means they're not really being real anyway.

So God doesn't have those kinds of responses: you can demand as much as you like of God but it doesn't mean you're going to get anything; it's only when you have the pure, loving-based desire that you will receive.

14. How to engage prayer

Jesus: So now that we understand prayer a bit more in terms of its effects and what it does on our soul, and we understand how to engage it, how would you engage it? What would you do every day if you decided that you wanted to have this relationship with God? What ideas do you have? So a few of you have some ideas, any?

Participant Female: I'd pray many times during the day.

Jesus: So you would have a feeling-based longing to engage this relationship with God many times during the day?

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: Yes.

Participant Female: I once heard you say, "Ask more times rather than ask for more."

Jesus: Exactly, that's true, I agree with that statement - ask all the time, actually, I would say probably. (Laughs)

Participant Male: I give thanks every day for just being alive.

Jesus: Yes, can you see too that in the course of an average day, what normally happens with our day? What normally happens with your day? You're busy people, what normally happens with your day? Talk to me about what happens generally.

Participant Female: Yes it initially begins with questioning God and talking to God and desiring God and whether it happens or not depends on the humility, and then I might get angry that it's not happening, at myself or at God but later it just drops off. Like you start doing things and nothing happens, and you have to wait twenty-four hours to do it again, and that's so frustrating unless you watch something inspiring or something happens. I feel like initially you're kind of in your body and you're like wow, okay, God, but then it kind of disappears.

Jesus: Okay, so you can see that we have, in the course a day generally, some longings generally but we're not too driven to have them, are we? And the rest of our life has a tendency to catch up with us - is that not true? Like we have a tendency to get busy doing other things, is that what happens to you? You get busy doing this, get busy doing that, busy cooking, cleaning, doing your job that you do to earn some income and so forth and so forth and before you know it, all of these mundane things that have occurred in the course of the day, you haven't actually engaged God in any of them. What could you do, do you think, instead of that?

Participant Female: Lately, even when I'm hanging out the washing, I thank God for the wind to dry my clothes or just anything. Like driving down the road, I try to engage my heart and just thank God because I'm not good at engaging my heart. So the more I practice, just talking to God, the more I feel that I might engage that connection.

Jesus: So we could actually, as you suggest, engage in God every single moment of the day.

Participant Female: Which I think I do, yes.

14.1. Allowing time to feel fears and connect to God

Jesus: And if we notice the feelings we have, we could know, "I'm trying to engage God but I'm not really feeling it right now," and we'd at least be conscious of that, wouldn't we, in that moment? Whereas when we get busy doing everything, what happens? It sort of gets all pushed aside and we work, eight hours later we realise that we've spent the last eight hours not even thinking to engage the process of the soul.

Mary: Something that you've been sharing with me lately, which has been really beneficial, is about fear as well. You're talking about not pausing to actually pray throughout the day, but as we've talked about over the weekend, it's the fears that cause us - when we honour fear above other things, we don't actually really engage with prayer - because we have faith in error and all those things that we talked about before the break.

And one of the things that you've been sharing with me is about how when we want to avoid fear we get really busy because the minute you slow your life down you suddenly get more in touch with fear. So that's been really helpful for me, to just slow everything down because fear naturally starts to become more apparent and if we realise that fear is one of our major blockages to sincere prayer, that's also another way that we can assist ourselves in this way. Would you agree with that statement? (Directed towards AJ)

Jesus: Totally, but it went over half of the audience's heads so it needs to be said again probably because it's really important to understand.

Mary: So do you want to say it?

Jesus: No, no.

Mary: (Laughs) When you want to avoid fear, you do a lot of stuff in your day.

Jesus: You make yourself busy.

Mary: And you think, "Ah I'll get onto that but I've really got to do the next thing." And, "Oh, I felt a little bit ... but hang on I've got to ... hang on haven't I got to do that ... Oh I should process," but it's all task driven and it's not actually just first connecting with yourself and your own feelings. Because as you do, and slow things down and put less tasks into a day, then naturally your fears start to rise up and if you do something or have an interaction with someone and then take time - even if it's just fifteen minutes after that, to settle with what are the feelings that came up for me during that interaction or that task - you'll often find there are fears there that you would usually just skip onto the next task in order to avoid.

14.2. Common methods used to avoid feeling fear

Jesus: So for most of us we need to learn how we have been managing fear. That's what's preventing our prayer; that's what's preventing all of our development actually - is we have learnt to manage fear a certain way and then those ways have become natural to us. We now engage them all the time.

So how do you manage your fear? What are some of the ways you manage your fear?

Participant Female: I've actually probably most of my life had the opposite thing where I've done very, very little and that's ...

Jesus: So that's a fear.

Participant Female: Yes.

Mary: So you're saying, "I shouldn't slow down."

Participant Female: Yes, so now I feel like I actually need to do more stuff and be around people more.

Jesus: So what was your technique of managing fear?

Participant Female: By not doing anything.

Jesus: Yes by not acting.

Participant Female: Yes.

Jesus: No action.

Participant Female: So now I'm actually purposefully doing the opposite.

Jesus: Okay, so that was your fear management technique. What are some others?

Participant Female: So avoiding certain situations and avoiding certain people.

Jesus: Avoidance - many of you have perfected that very well.

Participant Male: Doing things that I don't want to do.

Jesus: Okay, well how does that help you avoid fear? Didn't you say doing things you don't want to do? It's alright, you don't have to feel tricked by it. (Laughs) Because that's what you do, I understand that, I'm asking how that works for you.

Participant Male: I keep myself really busy doing other things.

Jesus: Ah, okay. So just keeping yourself busy with nothing, shall we call it?

Mary: Non soul-based things.

Jesus: Busy doing all these things you don't want to do. Okay.

Participant Female: Doing seven hours of yoga a day to manage my pain, which is all just fear.

Jesus: Okay, yoga or shall we say, all different types of physical exercise that supposedly help me get connected to my body but actually in a lot of cases just help me be more open to getting help from spirits and other people and other things, and just help me tune out and zone out from what the real problem is.

Participant Female: Hanging on to my addictions.

Jesus: So yes, big thing - addictions.

Mary: What's an example of that, Denise?

Participant Female: Staying in control so I don't feel powerless, so I don't have to face that fear or ...

Jesus: Yes, control.

Participant Female: ... continuing to eat food for comfort so I don't feel that pain.

Jesus: Food - awesome. Yes, drink certain drinks, they also help us a lot.

Participant Female: Yes, working for an employer.

Jesus: Working, all different ways - good.

Participant Male: Being a bit out of body or ...

Jesus: Okay, going away from yourself.

Participant Male: Mind-dominant rather than heart-dominant?

Jesus: Yes. Good on you so can we call that going out of body, but what's a better way of saying that? Avoiding being present.

Participant Male: So aren't all those things you listed addictions?

Jesus: They are all addictions, these are all the things we do to avoid our fear; which are all, by definition, addictions. Exactly, yes.

Participant Male: Instead of like going into that, I'm actually having faith in these fears and dealing with that first.

Jesus: Yes and the reality is most of us have faith in all of this. (AJ points to the list of addictions on the whiteboard) We believe this is somehow going to make our life better, and it doesn't. It makes our life worse.

Participant Male: I can vouch for that.

Jesus: But we think it's going to be better.

Participant Female: I substitute a manufactured feeling or situation for the real fear. So for me it's all about self-deception; creating something else that stands in place of the real fear or the real terror.

Jesus: Yes, I have talked with that with Mary and I called it "creating drama".

Participant Female: Yes that's it exactly it.

Jesus: A lot of people do that to avoid their fears: they create a drama, they create something that's not real. Like Mary knows this now, but when Mary used to get attacked by certain types of spirits, she used to create a drama of a different type to avoid her fear of those spirits, instead of just sitting there and feeling attacked by the spirits.

Mary: This is why I mentioned the thing about busyness: it's like a pressure that I feel to move on to the something else, and sometimes it's creating a drama, sometimes it's eating, sometimes it's doing another task, but there's a real pressure when I'm avoiding a fear, it's like compulsion almost, that I must do ...

Participant Female: It's obsessive for me.

Mary: Yes.

Jesus: Yes it can become very obsessive; it's a great way of avoiding fear because fear is a drama. That's what it feels like; it feels like fear is terror, dramatic, and we feel quite overwhelmed by it. So what we do to avoid it is we create another drama that's more palatable, that is easier for us to handle and it's a great method that most people use to avoid fear - they create a drama that they're capable of handling.

Participant Female: It's almost an excuse.

Jesus: Yes, it is, it's creating a drama that you're capable of handling in order to avoid the drama that you feel you can't handle.

Mary: It's like me on the media thing, where I'm dramatising about what I should wear before they arrive, rather than feeling the fear of what's going to happen.

Participant Female: Socialising, lots of talking.

Jesus: Okay, yes, lots of, shall we call them just general interactions? Now I'm not saying general interactions are bad, but a lot of times our general interactions are being used in order to avoid a lot of things about ourselves. We can avoid loneliness; we can avoid feeling alone and those kinds of things.

Participant Female: Watching and reading Divine Truth material.

Jesus: Yes! I see many of you go, "Oh it feels so nice when I do that just in this moment. It feels everything's good, everything's good." And you start to become addicted to avoiding the things that the Divine Truth material is trying to expose! (Laughter) And you use watching it avoid them! (Laughs) Like you get to feel nice for a bit of time and because you get to feel nice, you then get to avoid a whole heap of other things that you need to focus on instead. I see a lot of people doing that.

Participant Female: I've stopped it this year, but up until then it was a desire to run away, so I would travel at every opportunity. That's a big one for me.

Jesus: Yes running away is a great one \- I see a lot of people doing that in relationships - one little trouble, bang, they're out the door.

Participant Female: Yes, I've done that lots of times.

Jesus: And I don't want to sort out the issue.

Participant Female: Three husbands.

Jesus: Yes, three husbands. (Laughs) And it's a great way of avoiding a whole heap of things.

Participant Female: And also watching movies - so sometimes I'll watch movies to trigger me but a lot of the times it's just to zone out.

Jesus: So shall I call it entertainment?

14.3. Giving up addictions in order to develop a relationship with God

Jesus: Now we won't create an exhaustive list because we'll probably be going for most of the day. What I'm trying to illustrate here is that we have created thousands of ways to manage fear - thousands - and every single one of us has a pet five or six ways; the ones that are our "go to" way, the ones that we try every time.

It was interesting when I first met Mary because she had a pet five or six, and when I got to the sixth one by then she was starting to get pretty angry because she was running out of options after that. (Laughs) And this is what happens with our fear when we run out of options of controlling it, we then start to get angry - that's generally what happens - and we will have to go through that anger in order to have our relationship with God. We will have to work our way through the realness of that rage that we have.

So what we're trying to illustrate here is remember we said that it's fear that creates all of these caps upon this flow of love, which is the communication and relationship that we have with God. Now if it's fear that puts the cap there, can you see that if we wish to remove the cap we're going to have to deal with our fears? That means that you're going to have to give up your addictions, because it's your addictions that maintain your fears.

Addictions that cover over fears need to be given up for a relationship with God or a soulmate relationship

Now can you see that it makes sense then that every time we pray and we're not receiving Love from God, and we don't feel a feeling of love for God in the moment, can you see that the thing to focus on is nothing else other than your fears? They are always the reason why the relationship stops.

Now the fears are protected by the addictions, and so if you're unwilling to start destroying your own addictions you will never get to feel your own fears and if you never to get feel your own fears, the blockage between yourself and God will be maintained no matter what you do. So this blockage will be maintained no matter what happens.

If you though decide to do something different and that is confront your fears and feel them by stopping the addictions, now you have some hope of establishing this relationship with God again and actually having constant communication with God.

So when Mary says to you that she's spent a lot of years going through all these different things, what she's really been doing is slowly picking off all of these addictions and getting rid of them from her life. I have had to do that. The only difference between myself and Mary is that you haven't seen me do much of that because I did a lot of it before I met you, whereas Mary's doing a lot of it in front of you and she's had to pick off \- and I've had to pick off - every single addiction.

Like my addictions were pretty intense when it comes to busy: I was running four companies and working one hundred and twenty hours almost every week - there's the guy who doesn't want to stop and take stock of things. I hadn't had a holiday at one point in my life for seven years, working like that.

At one point in my life I was also a minister for free in a religious faith and I worked a part time job and I knocked on doors for twenty hours every week on top of that. So I was just addicted to keeping myself busy, that was my primary addiction. Can you imagine what happened when I removed that addiction?

Mary: Drama.

Jesus: So I removed that addiction, I had a lot of emotions come up, from just removing that one addiction. Just that one addiction gone, bang - heaps of different things I was feeling. All the reasons why I stayed busy, avoiding myself, avoiding my memories, avoiding my life, avoiding everything.

14.3.1. An example of a participant attempting to give up all of his addictions at once

Participant Male: Question about removing addiction - how fast and how slow? Is slow the key word here? Slow and loving? Or just drop everything and go naked in the forest.

Jesus: (Laughs) (Laughter)

Participant Male: Zero degrees at night and you'll be ...

Mary: Igor, what did you do when you moved to Queensland?

Participant Male: Something like that, yes. (Laughter)

Jesus: Did it work very well?

Participant Male: Well it was a bit harsh. (Laughter)

Jesus: Exactly, Igor, when he first heard of the Divine Truth - if I give them a bit of background - decided that he was going to come up to Queensland and do it tough. He had this really nice van, all decked out, perfect van - it would have been a great van for our sound equipment actually, or should I say his sound equipment, because a lot of it is what he uses - and he got rid of that, gave this away, gave that away, he decided that he going to get his life down into a backpack.

Mary: And you did it, didn't you?

Jesus: And you did.

Mary: One bag of possessions.

Jesus: One bag.

Participant Male: Yes but Lena took ...

Jesus: Lena decided to keep half the house. (Laughter)

Mary: So they came in a truck. (Laughter)

Jesus: Fortunately somebody did!

Participant Male: It was a five tonne truck, yes.

Jesus: So when they moved, five tonne truck for Lena, (laughter) and a bag for Igor, that's how it was and yes one of your addictions is one of harshness, one of wanting to be hard on yourself, wanting to be harsh. Often many of us have this addiction because that's how we got approval during our childhood; we got approval by being hard on ourselves.

Mary: And also I feel often Igor there's a lack of patience, like a lack of wanting to sit with the error.

Participant Male: Yes definitely.

Mary: It's like, "Nah, I'm just going to trigger it all, I'll be perfect next week," and it's not like that. Like you have to sit with the damage that's within you and feel it; that's been my experience anyway. Every time I try to push through, I end up way back somewhere else in an addiction.

Jesus: So in answer to your question directly though, you could decide to remove all of those addictions we listed earlier from your life in one day, couldn't you?

Participant Male: I'd probably last one day. (Laughs)

Jesus: But to be honest with you, I doubt whether you would actually have a true feeling to feel the results of that if you chose to do such a thing because to do that and then feel the results would be so emotionally overwhelming - if you truly felt the results most of us would avoid the emotions - and that's also what's happened to you if you think about it. You went through a period where you avoided the emotions from the harshness of that decision.

This is what we frequently do with our addictions; we try to confront them but we get quite hard on them rather than feeling why they are there because under every addiction is a fear, and it's the fear we need to feel before the addiction will really disappear.

For this reason what we notice is people remove one addiction, so they might remove an addiction to drinks, they're no longer drinking alcohol, and you know what we notice? They get fat. What happened? They just swapped one addiction for another; that's all they did. And so often this is what we do \- we remove an addiction only to create another because we're still having the desire to avoid the fear.

14.4. Developing humility to experiencing fear

Jesus: So what we've really got to address in this problem, with regard to the blockages with our relationship with God, is we've got to this issue, the issue of desiring to avoid the fear, which is the cause of all of our blockages.

Mary: Because it's not really just been about removing addictions, it's been developing humility, hasn't it? In place of the addiction.

Jesus: Well developing humility to the feeling of fear: see most of us have a deep struggle with the feeling of fear, we want to avoid it at all costs. We've actually constructed a life - and we were taught to construct a life - to avoid fear at all costs. But it's our fear that prevents this relationship with God primarily; it's only our fears in fact. If we have a desire in our mind, in our heart to have a relationship with God, and we're not having one, it's only your fear that stops you from having one.

Now that's different to a person who has never heard of having a relationship with God and has not even conceived that such a thing is possible. All of you have heard it; all of you conceive that such a thing is possible. If we were talking to an audience where nobody in the audience had even conceived that such a relationship was possible then maybe the blockage is just the fact that they hadn't conceived it but in all of our cases here, pretty much most of us, we've all heard the truth at some point about this possibility of this relationship, so the thing that is preventing the relationship is this emotion only \- this emotion of fear that we're not willing to experience.

Now when you have a desire to experience fear, that's when the majority of the changes in your life will occur. If you have a longing for God, every single fear that you get rid of has an opening, straight away, towards God - another fear, another opening; another fear, another opening. Eventually the whole blockage is gone; you might even still have fear but you don't honour the fear anymore and you understand the importance of removing it from your life.

Removing fear removes the cap between our soul and God's

14.5. An example of Mary developing her relationship with God

Mary: So here's the issue. (Laughs) We have this kind of discussion, and we talk about what prayer is and fear and how that affects prayer, and then we talk about addictions and we can see the relationship. But then I feel a lot of us fall down - and correct me if you think I'm wrong, AJ - in just then going, "Right, got to deal with addiction," and we forget this other aspect; I feel it's like a double edged approach or two pronged approach.

Jesus: Well let's talk about what happened in your case.

Mary: Yes.

Jesus: What Mary started doing was, "Oh I've got this addiction, I've got that addiction, I've got this fear, and I've got that fear. I'm not worthy to long for God's Love. I've got to get rid of all these things first."

Mary: Well see that's what I told myself - "I've got to get rid of all these other things first because, let's face it, I'll ask and I won't get any because I know I'm up the creek here." That's what I was telling myself.

Jesus: And you were even telling yourself that you'd ask and not even receive because of these other problems, weren't you?

Mary: Yes but I wasn't even really kidding myself most of the time that I asked. (Laughs)

14.5.1. Longing for God's Love compared to asking for truth or humility

Mary: I asked God for humility, I asked God for truth, but I just didn't ask for Love, which is a totally different action, if you think about it. Even in a relationship that's a totally different action; to ask someone, "Hey, could you give me some truth?" You want to have a discussion, "Can you help me out with something?" is totally different to saying, "Could you love me?" You can feel the difference emotionally, can't you, between those two states and that's what I was avoiding with God. I did feel unworthy but I could have just said, "Could you love me?"

Jesus: "Can you love me?"

Mary: And that is now confronting so many fears and feelings of unworthiness.

Jesus: Because every time you ask for God's Love, every time you go, "Could you love me?" there's a fear that pops up - you don't think you're going to get Love, you feel you're unworthy for it; whatever the fear is in that moment, that's the next one you need to deal with.

Mary: So for me now I feel that, yes, I actually desire now to be more open to this truth and that in the beginning I didn't even want to be open to this, the fact that all this was here; the fears and the addictions. But I can't ignore what it's all about, which is developing this relationship with God and if I'm willing to ask for Love, that immediately takes me from self-reliance, trying to deal with all this in self-reliance and then eventually asking God, to thinking that sometime soon I'll feel safer to ask God.

14.5.2. Feeling the need to be perfect before we can be loved

Jesus: And can I say that there is an underlying emotion that drives that, an underlying fear and that is the feeling that you're going to have to be perfect before someone will love you.

Mary: Yes.

Jesus: So when you have that feeling that you have to be perfect before God will love you, you're already projecting an untruth at God because God's willing to love you even though you're not perfect. So God's happy and desirous of loving you, especially when you're not perfect, because God knows that that's when you have the most trauma, that's when you have the most sadness, that's when you have the most fear, that's when you have the most shame and all the other emotions that are traumatic to experience; God knows that it's when you're not perfect that you have those things.

By saying to God that, "Oh I'm going to only ask You for Love once I've worked through all of those things," we're really saying to God that actually God's not the loving God that God actually is; we're saying that to God. You're only going to love me when I'm perfect. In other words, You're much like my mum and dad. You're only going to love me if I do exactly what you want. And that's not how God is either.

Mary: And it's having faith in a fear and that's causing me to stop asking when really if I just asked, that fear would be confronted. If I exercised my will and my faith in a different direction, to try an experiment, then I would have the possibility of establishing this connection and even if I'm not through that emotion or I'm still a bit messed up with the whole humility / truth thing with God, I start to experience some of this fear.

Whenever I ask, I expose an emotion within myself, and even if that means I don't want to be humble to it at the moment and I stop asking and so I don't receive Love, I still am in a much more real place about these two things, fear and addictions, that I know I need to deal with.

Jesus: So in Mary's case, Mary had to address the fear and the fear was that she would not be loved unless she was perfect and for all of the fourteen who have returned to Earth, that is a huge issue - because we've experienced perfection and lost it. And at the same time we lost it, we lost the connection to God, so therefore we feel like we've lost the love as well. As a result of that, we all have had this emotion of feeling like we have to be perfect before God will love us again.

So if you talk to Corny you'll find he's got that same emotion, if you talk to Mary, she's got that emotion, I've had a lot of that emotion as well and these are emotions that we've had to address.

It's an untruth \- we had faith in the untruth; we had faith in the error; we had faith in the fear that we would not be loved unless we were perfect. Many of you have faith in that; many of you believe that - that you won't be loved unless you're perfect. It's not true.

The real truth is that somebody who truly loves will love you no matter what. When we come to terms with that we have a lot of grief to feel and the reason why we have so much grief to feel with that is because it's such a sad thing, isn't it? We don't get loved very much in our life unless we do the right thing or do the right thing as defined by whoever is loving us but the reality is if they really loved us they would love us even when we did the wrong thing.

We have so much sadness when we come to the recollection of that, or the feeling of that, because we realise that in our whole lives it's been rare for us to actually be loved \- very rare - and there's a lot of sadness about that that we will have to process.

So these things are important to face I feel and if we face these things we can then engage prayer, this tug at God's Heart, this opening our of own heart, this communication process and if we engage this communication process with passion then we'll have some major changes occur in our life - but major change is only going to be possible through this relationship, that's the reality.

Now I feel that's a good place to stop today, actually; a good place for us to now just sit and think about what we've learned over the last few weeks about faith and prayer, but also to reflect upon the different emotions that have driven us to not pray.

Just as a personal anecdote before we complete, it was interesting when we had a lot of these discussions, wasn't it, babe, between ourselves, because Mary was saying, "Oh but I've got this problem, and I've got that problem and I've got this and I've got that and I've got to work through this and sometimes I feel like this and sometimes I feel like ..." And I'm saying, "Babe, babe, it's all too complicated for me. Like just simplify it all down: what's the real issue? The real issue is that you won't ask for Love; you're refusing to ask for Love. You're also blocking the reception of love; you block my love, you block God's Love, what's going on? Why do you do that?" And then during this discussion Mary came face to face with a few things, didn't you? You come face to face with the fact that the reason why you blocked my love was that you would feel like you'd have to give up your will.

And then Mary realised that's one of the reasons why she blocks God's as well. Then she realised as well that there was this other issue, the feeling she had to be perfect before she received God's Love, and that was the biggest thing, wasn't it, interfering with your relationship with God?

Mary: Probably, and the fact that I felt like I had to sort out my problem before God would love me.

Jesus: In other words she had to sort out her problems by herself and then God would love her.

14.6. Focusing on God's Love rather than error

Mary: I got good at facing truth about myself and I remember one morning I said to you (to AJ), "I have realised this thing about myself and I don't know how I'm going to heal it. I don't know how I'm going to heal it." And you looked at me and said, "Just ask for the Love." (Mary starts crying)

Jesus: It's okay, baby. It's fine. It's quite simple but we're always avoiding. We don't realise how many fears we have. The list we made of all of these addictions, they're the ones you know about, what about the ones you don't even know you use? And what do they cover of all the fears you don't know?

The interesting thing I find is that when you just long for the Love and you really have a sincere desire for it, and you ask yourself the question, "Why don't I want to long for it?" all this stuff comes up just naturally. It just comes out of you. You don't even have to think about it, you don't have to go searching for it, you don't have to go brow beating somebody's door, you don't have to go to Jesus and ask him every time you see him, "What's going on here? What's going on there?" None of that is needed anymore because you're open to the reception of God's Love and that exposes every single thing that stops you from receiving it. That's the beauty of the relationship with God.

Mary: And that's - now that I've suppressed my emotion sufficiently (laughs) - the thing that I learnt was that if I asked for the Love I confront a fear that needs to be confronted, and it's a blessing because then I receive the truth from God that God loves me without me having to be perfect, which exposes the other errors I have. And I can long for God's Love to help me expose my errors and they do come into sharp contrast with the Love that I receive.

But also this point that makes me very emotional is that the actual receipt of God's Love assists me to heal that which I feel alone I don't know how to heal. Just the action and the workings of the Love helps me to understand love and to remove the error from within me.

Jesus: So remember that the operation of God's Love has the effect of working on the causes of everything inside of you that causes you to be unloving - that's its operation. So you don't have to go and find every cause, all you need to do is do enough to receive the Love and God's Love will find the causes for you.

You don't have to worry about that so much. You need to understand that everything inside of you that causes you to be unloving will be removed through the process but you don't have to go seeking for the causes of every little thing. Honestly, if I had to do that, I would have had five to ten thousand things that stopped the flow of Divine Love in my soul, and honestly that's a pretty complicated thing from an emotional perspective, trying to find five to ten thousand reasons why you finished up stopping Love.

Isn't it better just to open your heart to Love and surrender to the process of doing that, and let the Love confront the error; let the Love get rid of the cause; that's a much more simple process, and that's what's happened for me. I haven't had to go search, search, search for everything; I've had to search for the things that stop me receiving the Love. They're the things I've focussed my time and energy on. I haven't focussed any time and energy hardly at all on finding anything else.

Just search for the things that stop you from receiving and giving love because once you receive and give love, from that moment on all of these other things that are inside of you will start getting automatically transformed; they'll get exposed and they'll get transformed through the process if you just look at the things that stop you from giving and receiving love.

15. Closing words

Jesus: So that's what we would like to recommend for you to try and see how you go with that. You'll probably find that if you do try it, that next year will be a lot more shall we say eventful (laughter) than the last four or five might have been. And that's how it is with God; the beauty of the way God's designed the soul, once you truly engage it with understanding the potential of your growth accelerates.

So many of you who've been stagnant for a period of time, and maybe the entire time we've known you, many of you will find changes occur when you truly engage this process with passion and desire. So remember if this connection with God isn't happening, it's always related to fear and addictions - always. When receiving God's Love this not happening, it's always related to fear and addictions; a fear of some kind is stopping you.

If you just ask yourself, "I want to receive God's Love, but I'm not - what's my fear? I want to give God love but I'm not - what's my fear?" then this will help you greatly in determining your blockages to the giving and reception of love and remember it's the only way God communicates. You cannot receive communication from God without doing this and once you do do it, you'll wonder, "Why did I put it off for so long? Why did I try to not do this? Why did I think I could do all the other things for so long?"

So that's what we'd like to encourage you to do. What we feel is that many of you will make great strides in your progression in your relationship with God over the coming year if you choose to more actively engage faith and prayer; if you have faith in God's goodness, if you have faith that God loves you and wants to give you Love under all circumstances, no matter how perfect or imperfect you are. And if you have faith that prayer will work; that prayer will cause the transition of your soul; that it will open up your soul and also tug on God's and Love will flow as a result \- if you have faith in these things and actually put that faith into action over the coming year. You'll look back on the start of this year at the end of the year and you'll go, "Yes this is the year I've changed." And rather than looking back on the year and going, "Wow, I don't think I'm much different than I was last year."

So that's why we'd like to recommend these things to you, to give them a try and it was the reason why we wanted to discuss this entire subject with you of faith and prayer. So remember, the whole subject began with the consideration of one message in the Padgett messages and that was the message from Solomon, where he was asked, "What was the greatest thing in all of the Universe?" And he said, "Divine Love on the part of God and faith and prayer on the part of the individual are the greatest things in all the Universe." (Applause)

We would like to thank you guys for your time and attention and we look forward to catching up with you after you've developed in six weeks time. (Laughter) Changes that we come back and we say, "Who are you? We can't recognise you." (Laughter) We look forward to catching up with you then. (Laughs) Catch you later, guys.

(Applause)

