

Nightmare in the network

Hanon Svane

Hanon Svane.

Translation by: Cynthia Benitez, 2014.

1

Incoming message:

From: arilaloca69@mailboxx.com

To: noa16mad@mailboxx.com

"Hey, want to come to the park later? Leo is coming and casually mentioned he wants to see you."

I can hear in the background that ringtone I have from one of the most famous artist of this generation. Her success in the charts was out of this world and very few people weren't aware of her existence. Even though she was very eccentric, her music was something to talk about. Humming the melody softly, I push the "unlock" button on my phone and the screen goes black. I feel so lazy today I can barely move, and I don't really want to go out. Let alone the fact that I have to prepare myself before seeing the guy I'm crazy about, and I'm not feeling the prettiest to be honest. I will definitely stay at home and watch some TV. Although all you can watch lately is rubbish and a high amount of gossiping shows. I take my phone again and with a gentle swipe I unlock the home screen. I insert the password (My birth date) and that makes me realize that the actual day is closer. I'm about to turn 16 this year. With the same finger, I touch the screen and move along the thousands of apps I have installed. Is almost sickening the ungodly amount of shit I have here. My intention wasn't even to launch one of the apps, it was more of a reflex to toy with the phone for a bit. I decide that is wise to uninstall a great deal of apps before my phone collapses, but instead, I go to the mail app and start typing a reply to my friend.

To: arilaloca69@mailboxx.com

Subject: Park

Ari, I'm not going to the park, I'll stay at home. I don't really want to go out today. I'll call you back, don't bother insisting, I won't take any calls. Kisses! ^-^

PS: Ask Leo if he wants to chat with me tonight.

I push the Send button. The message flies through the digital world. When it's done, I place my phone over the table and proceed to wipe the screen carefully with a velvet cloth. I think I take better care of my phone than my cat. I take the remote of the TV and turn it on while I let myself fall in the bed that makes a very concerning cracking sound under my body. I take the remote and begin the eternal zapping. Nothing hooks my attention. In the end, I left that gossip show I hate so much. A short man with glasses and strange attitude seems to discuss with a blonde haired girl who yells even louder than him. Deep down I like witnessing how they destroy each other. Sighing, I place my head on the pillow and soon I fall asleep.

My phone rings and I wake up abruptly. I take it from the nightstand and watch the screen. It shows Ari making a funny face. We have been friends from as long I can remember. We know everything about each other and there are no secrets between us, even though we're more like oil and water, we love each other deeply and care for each other like sisters. She's more extroverted and perpetually happy. I'm more reserved. She's an awful student and I'm the class nerd. She's blonde and I'm a brunette, she spends a lot of time worrying about her body and I couldn't care less about my figure. I'm more to the mind. So I stop and think; it is peculiar how we ended being such good friends. The phone keeps ringing so I finally take the call.

—Dude, I told you not to ring for the day— I say, still sleepy.

—I know, Noah. I just couldn't wait this time! —She said excitedly —. You'll never guess who was in the park today!

—Meh, shoot it. —I say without a trace of excitement.

— FREAKING SCIENCE TEACHER, OH MY GOD! He's so cute!

«Did she seriously call for this shit? »

—Noah, you'll die when I tell you, Jesus! He came over just to say hi... TO ME! He smelled so good...

— Why on earth the science teacher would say hi to you?

—Dude, I don't know! It was awesome. He wasn't alone though, a chick was with him, very good looking too. But you should have seen her face when he waved and said hi, her face was priceless, dude. You totally missed it!

«I had the weirdest dream»

— Noah? Did you hear what I just said to you?

—Yes, Ari. I heard everything, I just woke up. Yeah, science teacher, good looking girl, cool. Why don't you continue your story through chat tonight? I should take a shower.

—Geez, fine. Talk to you later.

She hung up first.

I drop the phone over the table and I leave my room happily so I can no longer hear the yelling on my TV. Is like a competition to decide who is more childish. It's eternal and they seem to love talking about the same shit for ages. So I finally close the door and leave all the madness behind. I notice the light under my parent's room. I frankly don't know how long I slept. Maybe it was around eight, since the gossip show was on. I don't bother saying hi, and I drive myself to the bathroom for a much needed shower. I lock the door hastily before stripping and think on how awkward my relationship with my parents have become. They have see me naked plenty of times growing up, but since my breast developed I no longer feel good with other eyes over me. I look to my reflection in the mirror while taking my clothes off and start analyzing what I see. My hips have grown, and a smooth layer of pubic hair covers my vagina. I don't like what I see. I don't think I'm the prettiest. That position goes to Arianna. Even though my boobs are bigger than hers (which gives me advantage with the boys) she beats me with her overflowing confidence and sensuality. She's always complementing my figure, saying I should considered myself lucky since I'm so skinny, I feel fat, flaccid and ugly. I pat myself on the stomach and enter the shower before I start feeling sorry for myself. The water flows over my body, sliding across my back and my breast. I can finally relax under the water.

A while later I hear knocking on the door.

« How long it's been since I entered the shower? »

— Noah! Can you hear me? Step out the shower already; you have been a full hour inside. Dinner's ready! — My mother says.

— Just a minute! — I reply.

I stop the water and take a towel close to me, quickly drying myself before I toss it over the sink. I look for my bathrobe and put it on lazily. I think I already overgrown it since it feels so small. I need a new one. I take a mental note to remind this to my mother. My boobs are showing a bit since the robe is tight around my body. I don't actually feel very comfortable wearing this, and the urge to change to my pajamas soon fills my head while I leave the bathroom.

—Did you finally leave the bathroom? —my dad says. He's standing in the corridor, both arms crossed tightly over his chest.

Ignoring the reprimand, I walk past him but I notice his eyes over my chest. I definitely don't like the way he looks at me, it makes me feel infinitely uncomfortable. I walk faster but his eyes are still firmly over my boobs. I open the door to my room and quickly enter my sanctuary. I didn't notice until now that my breathing is uneven. I change my clothes urgently, beginning with my underwear and following a t-shirt I feel it covers my torso efficiently. The door brings my attention and I hear it making an opening sound. I turn and I can see him standing there, with that look in his eyes that I don't like at all.

—Darling, dinner is ready — He says posing his eyes over my body.

—Fine, dad I'm coming. Can you leave me alone for a moment? —I force myself to sound natural and a bit annoyed, trying to cover how nervous he actually made me. — Sure, darling. Be quick.

He leaves my door without closing it. Quickly I run to the door and lock it firmly. I can't take it and put my back to it, sliding slowly to the floor and begin crying.

***

— What is wrong with you today Noah, do you think is okay to let us wait so long before you decide to finally come down to eat?—My mother said a bit annoyed.

They started without me anyway; it has become something usual these days. My plate, full of food is already waiting for me in the table. My father looks up at me and says:

—Come on, sit. It must be cold already.

I look at him while I take my place. His face is the usual "dad face" I'm familiar with. That creepy expression from before is gone. He doesn't seem to pay any attention to me, even.

«Was everything a misunderstanding then? »

I'm confused and hungry, so I decide to relax for once and begin eating anxiously.

«Yuck, is cold... »

—How was school, honey? — My mother asks.

«Same question every day, God! »

—Fine, mom. Nothing interesting beyond taking notes and tedious lessons with tedious teachers.

— And how about Arianna? Is she doing well?

—Yeah, good. I guess.

—It's been a while since she came over, why don't you ask her to come some day and you two have a sleepover?—my dad says as he suddenly had the best of ideas. I don't really like the sound of that after what happened ten minutes ago.

—Sure, I'll talk to her. —I say, lying­—.

—Whatever you want, honey —my mother gives me a sweet smile.

Dinner goes on without fuzz. Just the sound of mouths chewing and clasping sounds against the plate. We don't say anything more. They finish before me and take their plates to the sink and proceed to leave me alone in the table. I can hear the sound of the TV a while later. That annoying voice from the man of that gossiping show fills every corner of the apartment, like a snake.

« When the hell they'll consider cancelling that shit? »

I finish my dinner and pick up the table calmly and then do the dishes. I go to my room without saying good night to my parents. They seem hypnotized by that TV show, very interested about what the blonde girl has to say to the world and the occasional publicity ad that tries to sell them a new mattress.

When I get to my room, I sit in my studio chair and turn on the computer. I check my phone while I wait for the computer to boot. The social network app everyone in the school is a member of, doesn't show any updates. I have no messages. The "log in" melody from the computer welcomes me and I load the chat program. I have a new profile picture that according to Ari is gorgeous. I look sexy (but not almost pornographic, unlike Arianna's) concerning my photo, I highly doubt is like she says. Everybody is online. I proceed to check the notifications and discover that Mike uploaded a whole album from a school road trip to the water park. Everybody has a smile on. We really had a lot of fun. I smile again remembering everything we did, but soon discover horrified that I appear in almost every photo, with me wearing a bikini. If I already don't like my reflection in the mirror, is worse in pictures. Besides, Mike set the privacy settings to "public" and everybody can see me. I don't like it at all, but I fight the thought and don't make a big deal about it in the end. Being honest, who would actually go into his profile to watch every picture of myself? A beeping sound escapes the speakers. Somebody just log on. It's Leo. I don't write to him immediately. I don't want to present myself as a desperate chick, so I check other things over the internet (waiting for him, actually) and he doesn't disappoint me. In seconds a small window pops in my screen.

Leo: Hi, Noah.

Me: Hey Leo, how's things?

Leo: I'm a bit tired. I just got home, actually. I was training with the guys and I'm exhausted. By the way, I was waiting for you in the park. In the end I was alone with Ari. Mike joined us later.

Me: I was really tired, sorry. I didn't want to leave my bed.

Leo: Is okay... Do you want to hang out tomorrow?

Me: Cool, I'll tell Ari so she can ask Mike too.

Leo: I meant just you and me.

Me: Oh. ^_^

Leo: I just want to spend time with you. Ari and Mike are awesome but the can be... overwhelming some times.

«I TOTALLY get you, and of course I want to spend time with you, alone. I'm just playing hard»

Me: Well, you can see me after school, same place.

I think we both are kind of shocked. Nobody says a thing for a while. Then I see the "your friend is typing a reply" alert. But as soon as it appears, is gone. Just to appear again. This happens about 5 times in a row, and finally the message appears:

Leo: I thought that, maybe you'd like to come over to my house instead of the park.

«Okay, that definitely took me by surprise. No wonder it took you so long to write that»

Me: I'll be right back, Leo.

«Let's make you suffer for a bit»

I get off the chair a bit nervous. I didn't think he actually would invite me to his house. I really want to be alone with him, but I'm afraid he wants to take that to another level, and honestly, I'm not prepared. I have never been with a boy before and I shake just thinking about it. Ari has told me so many things that have left me completely confused and insecure about sex. Besides, I always pictured that moment with someone special. Is not that Leo is not the right dude or something, we only made out once and I don't think that exactly all that it takes to sleep to someone. Another sound alert pops me off my bubble of thoughts, Ari is online, and another window pops in my screen. I don't bother to check who it is; everything is going around my chat with Leo at this moment. I try to put my thoughts in order and I sit again to reply.

Leo: (^.^)

Leo: Noah, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while now.

«Well, here we go»

My body temperature rises and I don't think I know why exactly I'm so nervous. But my body is shaking.

Leo: I like you.

«Fuck, he said it. He actually said it! »

I didn't thought he would actually go for it after he asked me to go to his house. I don't know if is a master move to get me into his bed or something, but I'm kind of pleased with it. Immediately, another window pops:

Cesar16Mad wants you to add him to your friends list.

I'm still nervous about my chat with Leo, and even thought I have no intention whatsoever to add any strangers, I add him. What's wrong with me? Oh, right. I'm not actually thinking straight. What's another name in my list anyway?

Me: Leo, you still there?

Leo: Yup.

Me: You got me all nervous.

Leo: Same here.

Me: I don't believe you.

Leo: No, for real. I never thought I would gather the balls to tell you how I feel.

I take a quick peek at Arianna's conversation.

Ari: ANSWER ME, WOMAN!!!

Ignoring the message, I close the window and I immediately change my status to "Unavailable". At this moment, Leo has my total attention. But someone decide to ignore that and as soon I changed the status, a new window appears. Is that new guy I added minutes ago.

Cesar16Mad: Hi.

My eyes are quickly glued to the new chat. The typo is elegant and the background is light blue. I can see a super hot and young boy (probably one or two years older than me). I feel invaded by remorse. It gets to my stomach and does spiralling motions. I just tell Leo I liked him and here I am, drooling over a handsome stranger. Fantasizing over a picture is probably not his. With the shady feeling still swimming in my gut, I abandon just Leo's chat just for a moment and I found myself replying to my new friend.

Me: Hi, who are you?

Cesar16Mad: We haven't met each other. Ari gave me your email. She has talk a lot about you with me before and, well, I just wanted to know you. She said you both are best friends and sent me your picture.

«DAMN! »

Ari's window pops again.

Ari: why the fuck aren't you replying!? I'm talking to Cesar; he said you finally added him and his quite happy. You can't complain from having me as a friend, can't you? He's such a hottie!

I finally gather enough anger to reply to her.

Me: Dude, WHY the fuck you sent him a picture?

Ari: Because I knew he would like you. He's very nice too, give him a chance. Talk to him.

I start juggling over the three windows at the same time, replying as fast as I can.

Cesar16Mad: You still there? It was something I said?

Me: No, don't worry. I was talking to Arianna.

Cesar16Mad: Ok.

Leo: I'm so looking forward to tomorrow! You feel the same?

Me: Yeah, me too.

I'm not lying; I DO want to see him. But I'm kind of turned off by the new happenings. The spark that ignited 10 minutes ago with Leo, is gone. It is spoiled now by that new guy, Cesar.

Me: where are you from?

Cesar16Mad: From Campo de Las Estrellas.

«Wow, rich kid»

Me: You go to our school too?

Cesar16Mad: No, I go to a private school, but I have friends in yours. They talked me about you and Ari and gave me her email. That's how I met her.

«Oh, I can see where all this is going then»

Cersar16Mad: But don't think weir stuff! It is true that my friends hooked me up with her but I'm not looking for one night stands.

Me: what are you looking for, then?

New messages from Leo and Arianna pop at the same time.

Leo: Are you there...?

Ari: Leo is asking me if you're talking to me.

I decide to shake him off me for a bit.

Me: Tell him I went to the bathroom or something.

Ari: Lol, you're talking to Cesar, for sure!

Ari's message doesn't seem to be clear, because I immediately received another message from Leo.

Leo: ...?

«Ok, now you're getting kind of annoying»

Cesar16Mad: It might sound cheese, but I look for my perfect girl, true love.

Me: And you think I might be that girl... Right?

Cesar16Mad: No, not at all. I don't like to force things with anyone. Yeah, I'm sure looking for it but not "chasing" it you know? If something happens, then it was meant to be. If it is like that, then it is the right girl to be with me. I'm not sure if I made myself clear...

«Wow, he sure is cheesy»

Me: I feel the same about the topic. Hey, that profile pic, I can't see it quite well. Can you send me something more clear?

Cesar16Mad: Sure.

A new message from Ari pulls me out of my thoughts.

Ari: Ok, I already told Leo you went to the bathroom. Tell me everything! What did he said to you?

Me: He's sending a new picture.

Ari: WHAT? But he never sent one to me! I always whined about it but he never did it.

A new window asking for permission to download the file appears. I click the thing and the progress bar slowly fills. I feel kind of bad for getting Leo aside. In person I'm not even half this confident that I can be over the internet. Here I don't have any restrictions and I can be myself. The file is done and I quickly open it. The photo slider loads and the picture is revealed in all its glory. He's gorgeous, and he knows it.

Me: Dude, he sent a swimsuit picture. IS AMAZING, he's all worked out and hot!

Ari: I told you! I already felt something just looking at his profile picture. You're lucky, girl! He never agreed to send me pictures. We talked a lot via chat but we never clicked.

The mysterious boy has all my attention again with another message.

Cesar16Mad: So, did you like it?

Me: You're quite the dude.

Cesar16Mad: Heh, thanks.

Another message from Leo appears in the screen. He doesn't seem to give up.

Leo: Well princess, I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted. I'll see you at my place tomorrow. I'm so excited to be with you...

I don't reply. I'm not sure why. I read again the "princess" line and I already think he's going to fast. That "princess" thing I found too dipped in honey. But it isn't what I wanted? It is possible that this new guy changed my way of thinking that fast? I feel guilty. Just moments ago I was over the clouds at the idea of being with Leo and now, I just think about getting to know Cesar.

Cesar16Mad: Well, and what do you like to do? Do you have any hobbies?

Me: Same old cliché question, right?

Cesar16Mad: Yeah, but I'd really like to know. I can star, if you want.

Me: Ok, bring it.

CesarMad16: I love to read, mainly. My favourite authors are Unamuno, Cervantes and Gabriel García Márquez. Please don't think I'm a nerd or something!

«Of course I don't, I like the exact same»

I'm really surprised now. I turn myself over my shelves and look at the books I've gathered over the years. We match in almost everything I have there. Hum, too good to be true. I sigh and type an answer.

Me: She told you those are my favourite authors, right? Ari, I mean.

Cesar16Mad: No, not at all! I'm glad our likings match. If you want, we can talk about some of their pieces. It would be interesting to know your thoughts. Don't you think?

Again, this is too good to be true. I open Ari's window again.

Me: You told him my favourite books, right?

Ari: What? First I don't even read, let alone know what books you like. Are you Crazy? Me, reading...!

«Ok, you don't have to swear over it! »

My heart drops to the ground. I'm totally attracted by this guy now. I never felt it was possible for a boy my age to like the same things I read. Let alone be this handsome! I keep chatting to him forgetting about the other conversations. Leo finally logged off and Ari is probably talking with twenty guys in a row. She loves to be the centre of attention.

I look casually to the clock in my wall. Is 4 am already? Time sure flies when you're having fun. I'm totally bewitched by the way he writes, creative and smart. Something in me still thinks is not real, that it isn't possible.

«What's wrong with me? And what about Leo? How I exactly feel about him?

Me: Well, I'm going to bed.

Cesar16MAd: Have a good rest. I'm going to sleep too. This was nice. Bye.

Me: I loved it too.

An alert screen says my last message wasn't delivered. He logged off before I had the chance to press "send". Really, just like that? He says "bye" and immediately goes offline? I feel weird, like I already miss him. He left me with something to say and that pisses me off, but at the same time makes me feel more attracted to him. Leo, just turned me off with his "princess", and managed to make me feel the other way around. So I turn off the computer without saying good bye to Ari and I go straight to bed. I crawl under the sheets and kick the light switch with my foot. I'm still thinking about Cesar.

2

—Miss Noah!

I lift my head from my table, scared. Oh, God. I feel asleep in class, and it's the first time something like this happens. Of course, I ended up going to bed to an ungodly hour.

I notice the sight of a bunch of eyes over me, my classmates. I see the teacher standing next to the blackboard, slightly hitting a ruler over her palm in repetitive and annoying movements. She's looking at me like she's sparing my life.

—Is my lesson boring you? —she ask with a tone I don't like at all.

—I'm so sorry, miss. The truth is I didn't sleep well last night.

—Whatever you do or don't at evening hours is not my problem — she says interrupting me. She frowns and hits the ruler against her palm again, this time harder.

—But...

—I already said I don't care what you have to say —her voice rises—. When the bell rings, stay here. I want to talk to you.

My classmates turn themselves over their sits, almost mechanicly, like soldiers. Nobody is looking at me now. I stay in my sit, still sleepy and apparently losing the battle I'm fiercely fighting against my own body. The lesson ends without incidents, boring as usual. Sometimes I think the teacher is actually stupid. But that must be because I really hate her. I force my mind to calm since I'm about to have a "transcendental talk" with her in a few minutes. She takes all the time in the world and doesn't seem to be rushed, taking all her stuff and stuffing it in her (very ugly) bag, papers that doesn't have any use, books and other stuff I can't actually see from the distance. The classroom is empty now. Is just both of us.

—Problems at home? —she spits the question while walking towards me—. If you have, you can share them with me without hesitation.

«What the fuck I'm going to tell to you, old bitch? »

Again, I try to control my thoughts. If I said something out of place it might be worse, but it's really difficult. Why the sudden interest in my personal life? This just makes me wonder if she actually earned her degree for teaching. If I actually had any problems at home she would be the last person I would tell something about.

—No, miss. I told you before I had a bad night.

—I don't want any student sleeping in my class. Is that clear? —She lifts her flabby arm and points at me with her finger —N-O-B-O-D-Y. —She spells every letter like a snake would do, hissing.

—It wasn't my intention to fell asleep —I'm really trying to sound convincing. I'm fighting the urge to slam a book across his face.

—You think you're smarter than me, right? With that stupid attitude.

«Ok, now I'm lost. What the fuck did I do? »

—You think you know more than I do? That you're over me? Let me tell you one thing, little girl —her tone is getting violent and she gets her face closer to mine and there's where I notice the scent of alcohol—. If you want to screw me with your sufficiency complex I'll never let that happen. If you put me in evidence again in front of the class with that attitude I swear to God I'm going to destroy your life!

«Ok, this just got way fucking far »

—Excuse me! —I say rising from my sit— I will not tolerate that kind of words to me!

«Wrong»

—SIT, YOU FUCKING WHORE! —She roars

Panicking, I obey, and I quickly low my head. All I can see is her wrinkled fingers and a very bad applied pink polish in her nails, pressed over my table.

—Don't try to fuck with me, kid. Is a warning— she says with clenched teeth and lowering her voice— I dare to lift my head and see her face. Is so red that I fear it might explode any moment. Something seems to catch her attention and she quickly says —I really hope for this not to happen again—she takes her hands off my table.

I don't take my eyes off the table, fearing she might hurt me. The next thing I know is I'm alone in the classroom and the thing that makes me go back to reality is the loud slam coming from the door. I can see her trough the window walking hastily and the science teacher bumping into her. He follows her with her sight. And then he notices me. He enters the classroom and I'm way to nervous to handle what might come next. Questions of course, I don't want him to see me cry so I turn my back and start collecting my things as quickly as I can. The tears are threatening to fall my eyes, my chin wrinkles and I try my best not to whimper, but I know he can see I'm about to cry.

—What's wrong Noah? —His voice is sweet, it relaxes me.

—Nothing happened, sir. The teacher was scolding me because I feel asleep in class.

—It seemed more than a scolding to me.

I look directly at him. He really is handsome. Ari was right, he's a gorgeous man.

—Really, nothing happened —even I know I don't sound convincing.

He takes my hand and I notice a warm feeling across my body. He smiles at me. God, he even has perfect teeth. The world is unfair.

—If she gives you any trouble, please talk to me. Your teacher is going trough bad times and I wouldn't like her losing her temper over any student, specially my favourite one.

«Did he just say "Favourite" one? »

My hands are shaking between his, but not with fear, now is pure anxiety. The smile, that voice and those lips are sure making me totally uncomfortable. I nod with my head trying to form a coherent reply but I fail. He notices how nervous I am and releases my hand from his grip. Still smiling he says:

—I don't want to sound too insistent but, Noah, if something like this happens again, please tell me. —He looks directly into my eyes—. Don't think of me just as a teacher, I'm also your friend and you can trust me.

I don't say a word. I feel dumb and since I can't form any phrase I manage to smile back weirdly and take my backpack leaving the classroom in a rush. I can feel his eyes stick to my back until I'm no longer in his line of sight. Too many heart pounding emotions for a day. I stop in the middle of the hall, boys and girls walk past me. I can only perceive shadows. A hand takes firm grip of my arm and I scream letting my backpack fall.

—Dude, what's wrong with you! —Is Arianna.

I sigh heavily and hunch to get my backpack.

***

—I can't believe what you just said! We should arrange a beating for that old bitch! —Ari says while punching the air with her fist.

—You should tell your parents, you can't let that woman scream to you like she did —is now Mike who's speaking. He passes a hand over his blonde locks.

—The sooner I forget this incident, the better —I say.

—No, dude! You just can't let some teacher speak the way she did to you. If you don't do anything I swear to God I'll break her face!

Mike laughs and puts a hand behind Ari's back trying to calm her.

—Ari, please! Let me take care of this, I'll speak with my parents —I say hoping to calm her.

She doesn't seem too convinced but it manages to shut her up about it. Leo didn't come to the park. I'm not surprised though. He might be waiting for me at his place. Like she's reading my mind, Ari looks at me grinning.

—You're supposed to meet Leo today at his place, right? —She asks still grinning.

Mike smiles too and looks at me with a weird expression. I know what he's thinking and I don't want to visualise that in my head.

—Yes, I am. But stop thinking nonsense! Nothing is going to happen between us. We're only supposed to hang out as friends. —They both laugh— Seriously, I just want to talk to him.

—Don't tell Leo about what happened today with the old bitch. You might hold us, but I doubt you manage to hold him. —Mike warns me.

I nod; the last thing I want is this going out of control. Still, that warning leaves me thinking. Leo doesn't seem the type of guy who'd react violently to something like this.

«My favourite student»

I can't rip the phrase off my mind. And every time I recreate the moment in my head my heart goes wild and my body becomes a mass of jelly. I omitted that part of the story. Ari would have probably killed herself if I told her what happened after the teacher left the classroom. That, or even the janitor would know by tomorrow and the science teacher would be in serious trouble. Of course, she would add her own pieces of story.

—Look girls! There's the freak from class C —Mike points at him with his chin. A boy is standing across the distance in the same spot we are. He's looking at us. The boy Mike calls "freak" is Conrad. He's our age and a sophomore. I feel kind of sorry for him. He never talks to anybody and seems to be in a permanent depressed state. He always dresses in black clothes like his hair (probably dyed) and shaved from the back of his head. The front part covers his left eyes perpetually. Mike waves at him, inviting him to join us but Conrad turns his backs and leaves. Mike starts laughing.

—What a freak —he keeps laughing

—Don't say that, Mike. —I scold him.

—He scares me. He never speaks to anybody —Ari follows Conrad with her sight.

—I think he was looking at Noah —Mike says.

—I wouldn't like to be you, to be honest —Ari says mocking me.

Ok, too much shit for the day. I pick my backpack visibly angry and get up, leaving them behind.

—Oh, come on Noah! Don't be angry at us! —She yells from the distance.

—I have to go to Leo's! —I yell back without looking back.

—Good Luck! —She's screaming now, getting the attention of a passerby.

Ashamed, I keep walking hoping for her to shut up. I get to the bus top where a line has already formed. I wait patiently, not a thought fills my head. I'm trying hard not to think about what happened a few hours ago. I simply look at the people around me.

Soon the bus is here and everyone starts boarding like zombies. We enter the bus mechanically. The ride is short and I'm soon walking again after paying the ticket.

«Don't try to fuck with me kid, it's a warning». The teacher's voice gets into my head again.

—now, don't think about that—I say to myself.

«My favourite student».

Now it's the science teacher voice.

I stop for a minute and try to shake off these thoughts. My priority now is Leo.

I get to a very fancy portal compared to others in the same neighbourhood. A middle aged man that must be the doorman analizes me cautiously. He's sitting in front of a small desk inside a glass cubicle. I enter the portal and wave at him as a greeting. He doesn't wave back and looks to another spot, which angers me. I can't stand rude people without reasons.

«Retard» I think to myself.

I resume my way to a very old elevator that seems to go up just because I insist. When I reach the sixth floor it makes a screeching sound that almost made me shit my pants. I step out the elevator, scared. It might fall apart at any moment. I keep a mental note not to use it again and I drive myself to Leo's apartment. I ring the bell and the door opens. Leo is at the other side, handsome as usual. I'm nervous again.

—You're here, finally. The waiting was getting to my nerves. —He invites me in.

I flash a smile but I think it was more like a weird face. I can't control my moves, apparently.

«Calm down! You have been other times with him»

I try to calm down. I really do, but I can't. This time is not like other times. I know what Leo's intentions are and I'm convinced he will try to get me into his bed. I'm prepared for that? It is what I really want?

The house is pretty and elegant, way too classic for my taste but somehow nice and big. I get to the living room and examine everything in sight. A leather sofa rest in front of a mahogany cupboard, filled with a dozen porcelain figures at least. I'm surprised to see an 80's TV there. I didn't know those things still existed. But it is the circular glass table in the middle that brings my attention; pictures of Leo and his parents at different moments in the past. At the beach, the museum, landscapes and the official family one every home has.

—bring yourself comfortable —he shows me the sofa— do you want something to drink?

—yes, water please. —I say

—Water? —He seems surprised— I'm alone till Friday, don't you want a beer or a glass of wine?

I'm not so sure of wanting alcohol, but I guess I'll help me relax a bit.

—You're right; a glass of wine would be then. Thank you.

Leo smiles and goes to the kitchen. I start fidgeting with my skirt. For some reason I feel strange and uncomfortable in this house. I look everywhere around me, aware of every detail in every corner. Leo is back with two glasses of wine. He sits beside me and offers me one. I immediately start drinking mine without much thinking. The liquid goes down my throat and reaches my stomach making it burn. He put a little too much in my glass, but I'm thankful in the next seconds. I'm no longer that nervous and I seem to talk more naturally. Three more glasses later I'm not actually thinking straight. I'm just conscious of Leo's lips and I'm sure I have been wet for at least fifteen minutes. I know he's talking, but I don't know about what exactly, because I'm not paying attention. I just want him to kiss me. Like he just read my mind, he gets closer to me and it happens. I notice his tongue entering my mouth, is not bad. But he's being a little too rough. I put my hand in his crotch and caress him over the fabric. He's completely hard. That seems to be the queue for him to bring his hands under my shirt and he starts touching my breast. But something happens, something that I can't control. I'm not kissing Leo, neither touching his body and is not him touching me. My head starts telling me the guy I'm making up with is Cesar, the guy I was chatting with last night. I let myself go, completely horny and tipsy, dreaming that is Cesar who's with me. I can see his body, his smile. The same smile I remember from the picture he sent. This feels good but so wrong at the same time. I pull off and Leo looks at me, confused.

—is something I did? —His face is kind of funny to be honest.

—No, is not. Is not your fault, I'm sorry. Is just...

«I'm fantasizing over another guy while you where touching and kissing me, that's all»

I get up the sofa, and I'm feeling a bit confused. The alcohol is not helping though.

—I need to use the bathroom.

—To the bottom and the left —he says a bit annoyed.

«Typical»

I leave Leo and his confused hard little friend in the living room. In the bathroom, I look at my reflection in the mirror. I can barely recognize the girl in it. My cheeks are flame red, my body is shaking and I'm still wet and uncomfortable. I feel the need to leave and go to a place where no one can find me and read my thoughts as he does. The bathroom seems to shrink and I feel relieved. If the space just swallowed me up I could be worried about other things. But then I hear knocking on the door, is him.

—Are you feeling ok? —I can feel the concern in his voice.

Is he really worried about me or about the fact that he might not get laid today? I open the water tap to wash my face. It alleviates me, but is not enough to wash the tipsiness.

—I'm coming! —I announce as I dry my face with the first towel I encounter.

When I open the door, Leo is there, leaning in the wall looking at me like I'm a freak. I look at his crotch and it doesn't seem to be any different than five minutes ago. I'm uncomfortable.

—I think I should go home —I say lowering my voice

—Why? I don't understand

—I just want to go home.

I'm worried about his reaction, his eyes seem to change for a moment and his anger is evident. I don't want everything to end in tragedy because we had a misunderstanding. But surprisingly, his face relaxes.

—I don't really understand what is going on with you, but I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to do. Come, I'll get you to the door.

Honestly, I'm surprised with his reaction. Maybe I'm used to those series on TV where the girl always dies at the hands of his crazy boyfriend because she denied him sex. Maybe I'm the crazy one, because some weird feeling rises in my mind, imagining that I might be pleased if Leo reacts screaming in frustration and then forces me to have sex with him, I would be the submissive girl. Feeling he desires me with passion and he would do anything for me, even losing his temper.

—You'll be online tonight? —He asks me without looking at me and rescuing me from that dark corner of my mind.

—Yes, I will.

«He's being so fucking kind to me, why I'm being such an asshole to him? »

I'm outside his apartment as soon as I said those words. I'm taking the stairs this time, not a chance I'll step inside that infernal elevator. I force myself not to think again of that imaginary and twisted situation. When I reach the portal again the doorman is there, and he seems to notice me this time. I don't like the way he's looking at me, like he knows everything that happened just moments ago. He gives me a creepy smile, almost sickening. I feel fragile and naked, maybe he can smell me. A primitive sense developed from years of just "being" in that cubicle. I don't really want to know, so I quicken my steps and leave the place.

This time I take the subway. Is late already and hallways and wagons are full of people. The train arrives, and a massive amount of people is waiting to in line. The automatic door opens and a wave of people leaves the wagon. An old lady —that seems to forget the rules of being polite— starts making way for herself hitting everyone on sight. I'm finally inside the train and I put my back against the already closed door. The train starts its course again and I'm remembering my moment with Leo. Did I ruin any chance we could possibly have?

—"Next stop: The White Hill" —the speakers announce—

I abandon my thoughts and lift my head. The impertinent old lady is sitting beside a guy, who's reading the paper. She got her precious sit after all and is reading today's news for free. Maybe I can learn something from her. Apparently, you have to step on everyone to get what you want in life, being rude and improper. The door opens again and I step out the wagon, following the other people to the exit. Everyone seems to walks like a machine. Suddenly, somebody hits my arm, hard. I turn to yell at the person who did it and thanks to a kid behind me I spot him. A man wearing black clothes and a hooded sweater is standing there. I can't see his face. He notices I'm looking at him waiting for an apology. Instead, he starts pushing everyone around and climbs the stairs gaining complaints. The kid behinds shrugs like saying "that's life; we can't do anything about it". I resume my path and when I'm about to reach the end of the tunnel that connects the exit with the street, I spot the hooded man again. He's just standing there. I feel uneasy and slow my steps. Something tells me I shouldn't be around him. He's looking at me now. People pass beside me; no one notices us. My eyes are stuck in him, I'm shivering.

«What the fuck is wrong with this man? »

I study the possibility of turning back and take another train, maybe it is the best option. But what if he follows me? He's still there; standing with his head down. Should I alert security? But what I should say? "Excuse me, but that man in black is standing in the tunnel and I'm scared to pass by him. A moment ago he bumped into me while climbing the stairs and I thought of scolding him for it but I'm scared now".

«Don't be a baby, Noah»

I take a deep breath and take my first step. People are still walking without paying attention to me. Second step, he's still there. I stop and a business man bumps into me, dropping his portfolio. He's angry of course, retrieving his portfolio he resumes his course, in a hurry. I don't know what to do, he's still a few steps ahead of me but I'm about to fall on the ground. Seconds pass like hours.

«Please, just turn around a leave»

It seems an eternity, but he finally turns and leaves with forced steps, disappearing at the end of the tunnel. I sigh in relief, but still shivering. I stand quietly, trying to resume my way but I'm afraid that he might be waiting for me outside.

3

Chat with Ari 21:00H:

Ari: What? You're crazy.

Me: It's true, don't mock me. I was very scared.

Ari: He wasn't probably looking at you; you're not the center of the world you know? Lol.

Me: I'm convinced it was me. I'm telling you I was freaking out! I couldn't see his face; his sole presence was uncomfortable to me.

Ari: Well, you didn't see him later, right?

Me: No, and I don't want to ever see him again, to be honest.

Ari: You know, Mike gave me a ring today.

«I'm fucking telling you I almost die of pure fear today and you reply about some stupid ring? »

Me: What?

Ari: Wait, I'll send you a picture.

«Chapter: "Scary man in black" ended. I really need new friends»

I open the file; a very tacky ring is on it. I never saw something so horrendous in my life; in fact I wouldn't expect something like that from Mike.

Me: Is cute...

«Liar»

Ari: Just cute? Is fucking beautiful, dude!

An alert sign tells me Leo is online.

Me: Wait a sec, Leo is online.

Ari: Ok.

Chat with Leo 21:15H

Me: Hi

Leo: Hi Noah, how's things?

Me: I was talking to Ari.

Leo: You feel better?

Me: Yes, I'm sorry I ruined today.

Leo: Don't worry; I hope we can spend another day sometime.

Deep down, I want the same, but something tells me there won't be another time.

Me: It won't be.

«Liar, again»

Leo: Yeah...

Another window pops letting me know Cesar16Mad is online.

Cesar16Mad: Hi, beautiful.

Me: Oh, hi! How are you?

Cesar16Mad: Pretty tired, to be honest. But better now that I'm talking to you.

«That was nice»

I'm smiling like a dumb girl.

Cesar16Mad: Oh, please.

Leo's window starts blinking.

Leo: You still there?

Me: Yes.

Cesar16Mad: I was happy to talk to you yesterday, I felt I know you from a long time ago.

Ari's window is blinking now.

Ari: Dude, did you know what happened to Sophie?

I don't pay attention and reply to Cesar instead.

Me: Me too, I felt the same.

But suddenly I notice something I didn't before. Ari never talks about other people besides her. She mentioned a classmate. So I open her window again and type:

Me: Tell me about Sophie.

She starts typing, two minutes pass and she's still on it. I know is going to be one of those replies that take more than 10 lines so I minimize hers and Leo's window and keep talking to Cesar.

Me: How's school?

«What kind of question is that? »

Cesar16Mad: Pretty good. It hasn't been difficult actually; the level is not that tough or challenging.

Me: I totally understand.

I open Ari's window and just as I thought there's a novel written there. The curiosity is gone as soon as it arrived. I'm not in the mood to read her daily gossip so I tell her I'm going to the bathroom and close the window.

Me: Something scary happened to me in the subway today.

Cesar16Mad: What happened?

So I told him

Cesar16Mad: Wow, don't like that. Not a little bit, be careful ok? There are lots of assholes walking free in the city, but if you feel safer I could go with you to school or wherever you want.

«A true gentleman here, but I'm not prepared to meet you yet, I think»

Me: Thanks, but I'm okay.

Cesar16Mad: Ok, no problem. Remember you can ask for it when you want. Changing the subject a bit, the other day I read an article about one of our favorite authors; it said he wouldn't be writing again.

«You're driving me crazy with the "I love to read" thing»

So we keep talking about our stuff. I change my status to "Unavailable". Suddenly is four in the morning. I say good bye and go to bed exhausted. I don't know how is even happening. This kind of thing is exclusive for TV characters and other romantic shows, where the hosts invite the person and his internet crush to meet each other and everything falls apart because nothing is like they imagined or actually is and they live happily ever after. What if Cesar is not the guy in the picture he sent to me before? What if his a catfish? Would that change the fact I feel wonderful talking to him or the feelings I'm developing? I fall asleep thinking in all the possibilities.

***

—Noah, wake up!

Still sleepy I open slowly open my eyes; I see my mom's head over me. She's pissed.

—You're going to bed too late these days, I wouldn't mind cutting the Wi-Fi signal— she says.

«Shit, no! »

—Ugh, mom! Not now... —my voice sounds harsh and sleepy.

—be quick, I'm dropping you at school today. You're lucky my job is on the way to your school today.

I get out of the bed as quick as I can and drive myself to the bathroom. I bump into my dad in the hallway; he gives me a warm smile and keeps walking to the kitchen. I enter the bathroom and pulling down my underwear, I sit in the toilet. Then it hits me: I was in my underwear when I bumped into my father and he didn't do anything funny, not even a small glance. Then, the other day...? I feel terribly guilty for thinking such awful things about my father when he didn't do anything afar being they way any father would be with his daughter. Why would that change now? Maybe because my body is not the same it was a few years ago? If it was like that, then why he didn't looked at me before in the hallway? I shake my head trying to wash off those thoughts; I clean myself, pull my underwear up again and start brushing my teeth. When I finish I look at my reflection in the mirror. I found myself pretty today. Maybe that talking with Cesar should have something to do with that fact. The water is cold and fresh; I wash my face and feel more awake already. My mother is screaming at the other side of the door, rushing me. So I step out of the bathroom and go to my room again to change my clothes. I choose a green tank top that doesn't cover my belly button and cropped jeans. A sound gets my attention, is the kind you get when a new message enters the box. I have a new message from Cesar16Mad. My stomach starts doing back flips.

Cesar16Mad: Good morning, gorgeous. I hope that I'm not bothering you but I wanted to say hi before I go to school today. I'm sending you a big hug.

I re-read the message a hundred times. Every time I do, I feel happy. I thing this feeling is getting off my hands.

«Internet freaks, dudes that are not what you think...»

I don't want to think that way of him, so I keep the feeling that makes me feel special. If it happens to not be what I wanted, I'll receive the punch with dignity later. Now I want to enjoy myself, so I push the thought away my head. Why wouldn't he be the handsome guy in the picture and the cultured boy who loves to read classics? I don't answer the message anyway. I check my downloads and then turn off the Computer. When I'm crossing the hallway to the door —where my mother should be waiting, pissed— I look at my parent's room and notice a sinister light illuminating the stance. My father is there, sitting in his chair in front of the laptop.

—NOAH, HURRY UP!

***

—Why did your mother bring you today? —Ari asks

I watch my mother's car getting away from us, to the traffic.

—I don't know, she had something to do in the city today, I guess —I look at her in the eye— you're gorgeous today. —I'm not lying.

—Thanks, you look beautiful too —she says smiling.

In other occasions, I would have said to her "don't talk crap" but I decided to small back today. I did feel beautiful.

—You totally ignored me yesterday, by the way. —She changed the subject abruptly.

—I'm sorry, I was reading and fell asleep with the computer on —I lie.

—So you didn't read what I told you about Sophie, right?

—I'm sorry, no —my apology sounds sincere.

—Well, it was super important, dude! Apparently she's in the hospital. Some guy tried to rape her.

«Somebody raped Sophie? »

—What!? —I barely can enunciate any words.

—Well, I don't have every detail. Laura told me, and Jess told her. But come on! I told you yesterday we would go visit her today. You'll come, right?

—Sure, of course.

I'm terrified with the thought that a man could have been walking around the city, raping girls and I immediately remember The Man in Black I encounter in the subway.

«Try not to be paranoid, Noah. He was just an idiot trying to scare you for fun»

My thought might be reasonable but it doesn't get me from being scared. I want to see Sophie, make sure she's okay, that everything is just an exaggeration from my mind, Ari and the other girls. It wouldn't be the first time they seasoned the original stories. But I need to know who attacked her —if he did— and if that man was dressed in black.

—Dude, are you okay?

—Yes, is just I'm really affected by the news.

Ari guesses what I'm thinking.

—You're not thinking is the same guy you saw in the subway... right?

I don't say a word.

—Oh, come on! Don't be stupid. —She takes me from my arm and pulls me with her to the school. Is her way to tell me "Don't worry". We enter the classroom and I see all the students talking between them, some in their tables, some leaning in the window. The teacher is not here yet. I sigh in relief. I don't really want to see her. Ari goes to Jess' table to tell her something I prefer not to know. I go to my spot and ask to boys to get off it. I sit and immediately and hide my head between my arms. They look at me like I'm some kind of weird bug that needs to be smashed. People respects me, but not for who I am, but because of Ari. She has protected me since we are little. The science teacher enters the room and everybody rushes to their sits. Everyone but Ari, she walks slowly and provocatively.

«God, she has no shame, does she? »

—Ok everyone, I had some bad news. Your teacher would have some time off the school. She has some personal matters to attend. —he announces a bit uncomfortable by Arianna.

He tries to make himself sound normal, but at least that didn't succeed with me. Something bad happened to her, I'm sure. Part of me is happy that something screwed her, but the other half hopes for her to be okay. Both start fighting each other and apparently my evil half wins the battle.

—I'll be your substitute teacher for a while till the school finds a replacement. So you'll have me with you for long time. He tries to sound funny, but everybody is quiet and doesn't seem to abandon the worried aura.

—What happened to Miss Marcia, sir? —Some boy asks.

—Well... Miss Marcia had... —He doesn't seem to find the words— she had an accident—before everybody goes hysteric he follows— it wasn't something serious. But she has to be under medical observation for a while. —When he finishes, he looks directly at me, like he needs to tell me something more. Like he tries to tell me what actually happened to her. —Well, could someone tell me what were you learning about in the last class?

He changes the subject abruptly, opening the book in front of him. A girl lifts her arm like a lightning. I look at her, I never noticed her before. She looks like a good girl. She's dressed very nicely compared to other girls and has beautiful and long brown hair falling at her back. Her factions are sweet as her movements. The teacher looks at her for a moment and gives her permission to talk. She explains excitedly where the lesson was paused and what was about. Nobody seems to pay any attention to what she's saying. The only ones are the teacher and me. He smiles at her and she blushes immediately. He suddenly turns and looks at me; now I'm blushing.

«My favorite student»

I look away, angry at myself. I shouldn't have shown him that sign of weakness. I try to make him notice I'm trying to be serious, but it's too late; he's looking away. I imagine him smiling victoriously at himself. I'm pissed at myself, but it's worthless. The classroom is soon invaded by the sound of bags opening and page shifting, and pens writing in the sheets. I do the same as the rest and open my book of literature in lesson eight. Time flows slowly and tediously. The science teacher is exactly that; a science teacher and nothing else. He just reads the content in the book and tries to explain some concepts from time to time. No one ask questions, he was lucky for today's class. If it wasn't him, I would have annoyed him with silly things; but I don't want him to pay any attention to me. I'm not sure who would win the next "let's look at each other" assault. The bell rings and brings me back to reality and everybody transforms in elephants and ostriches running out of the classroom. I see Arianna getting away with Jess. I know where they're headed to and why she didn't wait for me. A while ago, she tried to offer me pot. I remember we were in her room, Jess was there too. She was reading a magazine. I've never smoked pot in my life or any other kind of drugs before and my parents didn't bother to warn me about the consequences either. I guess Ari's parents didn't too. I remember how the smoke escaped her mouth and how it was splattered all over the room leaving its characteristic smell. She offered me some and Jess immediately lowered the magazine to look at us. They way she did it seemed to me like it weighed at list ten pounds. Her movements were slow and silly. Ari was holding the thing and insisted I took it. So I did; the smoke went directly at my lungs and started coughing violently almost throwing the cigarette back at her. They laughed at me like retards and I couldn't stop coughing. When the effect finally passed I felt the after taste I didn't like at all. I was feeling dizzy and couldn't get up the bed I was sitting on. It was like gravity suddenly increased. Soon I was feeling extremely hungry and my mouth dried. I needed something to drink immediately, so I picked a bottle of soda and took a long sip. My senses were enhanced and the taste of the soda that I drank so many times was now something exquisite and new. The bubbles were jumping in my mouth. I thought then it wasn't so bad, until the dizziness became worse and I needed to throw up. I was barely capable to talk coherently and I couldn't think straight or breathe properly. It was exasperating and I thought I would suffer a panic attack or something. Ari —still laughing— went to the kitchen and return with sugar and a spoon. She filled the glass I had in my hands with soda and added several tablespoons of sugar, she made me drink it and the effect was immediate. I promised myself I'd never smoke that rubbish. They respected my decision and they never told me again when they sneaked in the bathroom to smoke pot.

I walked near the science teacher —he doesn't lift his eyes from some papers— I don't intend to make him notice me but at the same time I'm annoyed that he doesn't. I leave the classroom and think about Miss Marcia. What on earth happened to her?

«Sit, you fucking whore! »

The memories of that moment resound in my head. Maybe she deserved whatever happened to her. I leave the building; the sun is doing his job especially well today. Some parents are gathered in the sidewalk across the street, making small talk while waiting for their kids. I can't remember the last time my parents picked me up, but I can remember the first time they dropped me at school. I'll never forget how anxious I was. I sit in a bench waiting for Ari and Jess; they don't make me wait for too long.

—Are we going or what? —she asks with a very wide smile in her face.

Is obvious they smoked already, their eyes are reddened and seem way too happy. I don't think they picked the right moment though, but it doesn't seem to affect them they way it did with me. I get up from the bench.

—we could take the subway —suggests Jess— It's the fastest way to the hospital, and I don't think any bus route gets directly to the building anyway.

—then move your ass —Ari says.

***

In the way to the subway, I feel somebody's eyes over me. Curiosity takes over and I discover Conrad the emo guy, shamelessly looking at me.

«Well, he actually is a freak»

I want to go ask him why he dares to look at me that way, but I can't now. I shouldn't anyway; I have to know what happened to Sophie.

«Wow, you really are a heartless, selfish bitch; aren't you? »

Is like Jiminy cricket suddenly appeared on my shoulder. Guilt takes over me; I'm not really going to know how Sophie is doing. I'm going because I need to know if the man who attacked her was The Man in Black I saw in the subway. Deep down, I wish that my thoughts aren't true. I look away from Conrad and continue my trip with the girls. We reach the subway station and it's filled with people already —of course— some men look at us in a filthy way and I feel helpless and fragile. Whatever reason they had to look at us —I presume our clothes have something to do with it— I can't understand why they present themselves in that way to us, and they don't stop looking at us until we reach the inside of the wagon.

«Next stop: Central Hospital»

We step out the wagon and follow the sea of people. I'm grateful for leaving the place. We don't speak at each other during the way, and I'm still not used to the disgusting looks men throw at us. A huge white building arises in front of us, composed of several wings and a very big chapel. Is one of the city's biggest hospitals and I'm impressed.

—Come —says Jess walking ahead us and setting the rhythm —I know in which room is Sophie —she says in a hurry.

We follow her through a trail of stones that surrounds a beautiful garden. In the center I spot a statue of the Virgin Mary; it seems to guard the building that is divided in four sections. Once inside, I don't feel relaxed. The place feels heavy. All kinds of people go here and there, I discover patients doing they afternoon walks in the corridor, people in wheelchairs pushed by nurses in pink uniforms. Men with white robes all in a hurry walk across the hall pushing beds easily.

—This way — Jess says.

We turn to another corridor and enter an empty elevator. Jess presses the button that goes to the fifth floor and we wait.

—I hate hospitals —I say looking at the buttons in the elevator panel.

—Me too, and the smell is disgusting —Ari says, frowning.

—yeah, is disgusting. I've been here other times and it gets worse —Says Jess shaking her head.

A beep announces we're in the fifth floor already. The doors open and we meet a bunch of people waiting to ride the elevator. Nobody seems to be happy. We step out of it and continue our way across another corridor with white walls and orange signs. We finally reach Sophie's room. Jess calls the door and enters without waiting for an answer. Sophie is in a huge bed. A woman that must be her mother is standing in front of the window. She turns to greet us. Her state is pathetic; she has puffy eyes and seems as sick as every other patient in the hospital.

—Hello girls, I'm glad you came to visit. —She says politely.

We say thank you at the same time, and immediately look at Sophie. She doesn't look good. Her skin is way too pale and seems exhausted. She has a cannula and other medical equipment is attached to her. She's awake and seems confused when she sees us standing in front of her; like she doesn't recognize us. Is not that we are great friends or something. My relationship to her is not that different from the one I have with Jess. Is not like Arianna and me but is sufficient to pay a visit. I want answers, and it's obvious she was attacked. I feel Jiminy cricket again, this time on Sophie's mother.

«Selfish bitch you are, Noah»

—I'll leave you girls alone for a moment. I need a coffee. —she says, almost dragging herself across the room— if any of you needs something, call the nurse. —She states without looking at any of us while disappearing through the door.

—Hi girls. —Sophie manages to say. Her voice sounds detached of life.

—How are you today? Everyone is asking for you at school, they send regards. —Jess voice is unusually sweet, even for her.

—Who did this to you? —I spit without warning.

Arianna and Jess turn their heads to me, and if looks could kill, I should be lying on the floor already. But Sophie places her eyes firmly on mine. They look empty and I'm afraid to keep looking at her, like her own fear could come out and consume me up entirely, taking me to the place where her innocence was before she got raped. I swallow hard.

—A tall man is looking at me in the distance —she begins.

—is not necessary that you tell us —Ari rushes to her side —Right, Noah? —Her tone is telling me to shut up.

—I... —Sophie keeps talking like something is forcing her to do it. — I can't see his face, I'm scared and I don't want to approach him.

—Stop, Sophie; Is enough. —Jess says

Sophie ignores her and keeps talking:

—Mummy, I'm scared. I don't know what to do. He's dressed in black, and is wearing a hood. I can't see his face.

My body turns stiff and in matter of seconds is totally paralyzed. Everything spins around me and panic takes over me. My blood is freezing. That's exactly what I didn't want to hear. I look at Ari and I perceive the worry in her eyes.

—He comes to me and nobody is around me, I'm alone. Mummy... what should I do? I want to run away but the fear takes over me. I want to scream but my voice is gone. I feel his arms holding me, it hurts. I feel his breathe over my face. Mummy, it hurts. He throws me to the floor and removes my... —She starts screaming in agony. That brings me back to reality; I was hypnotized by that voice that didn't seem hers. A nurse comes in the room alerted by Sophie's screaming, she looks angrily at us. I see Ari and Jess; no one is doing a thing. Sophie keeps screaming and shaking in her bed. I see a red spot covering the sheets near her legs.

—Leave the room immediately!!! —the nurse screams at us with her eyes injected in blood.

We rush to the door and bump into Sophie's mother who just came with her coffee in her hands. When she looks at her, she drops the coffee, making a huge mess on the floor and looks at us, crying. She drags herself to the nearest chair and simply falls on it, sobbing nonstop. But that look punched me hard in the gut. I feel I provoked that attack and I want to approach and say sorry but Ari and Jess take my by the arm and drag me out of the room. At the same time a male nurse and a doctor runs through the corridor and enter the Sophie's room. The screams can be heard outside and clings to my skin like needles. People around us start muttering and keeps alert at the scene. Some curious try taking a peek but the male nurse keeps them out of the room.

«Mummy, it hurts»

—ARE YOU RETARDED OR WHAT!? —Ari yells at me.

—I should break your fucking face right now! —Jess says showing her fist and walking to me.

—Fuck off Jess! —Ari screams pushing her— what the fuck were you thinking!?

I don't know what to say, I'm terribly confused and I notice people looking at us. We're making a scene. I look pleadingly at her and she seems to understand my fear and uneasiness.

—Let go to my place, I need a joint. —Ari states pushing her hair back.

I know she's scared too.

4

Jessi sucks on the joint and her hands shake. Ari is sitting in her bed, looking through the window. She says nothing. She's been mute since we left the hospital and took the bus to her place but Jessi and me didn't say much either. I take my phone from my pocket and unlock the screen, tapping on the mail application. I have several mails unread, but only one get my attention.

New Mail:

From: Cesar16Mad

Subject: What's up?

"I hope I'm not disturbing you or something, I just wanted you to know I've been thinking of you all day long and wanted to know if you'd been online tonight. I also wanted to tell you I sent a friend request in the Social Network so you can add me there too, if you want.

Buh-bye."

Even though this is the worst timing and I'm not feeling like celebrating, a part of me is happy I got to read the mail. I push the reply button and start typing:

From: Noah

Subject: OK

"Okay, I'll be on tonight".

Kisses.

Maybe I was too brief, but I don't want the girls to see me toying with the phone. Before I unlock the screen again, I notice a mail from Leo, but I prefer to ignore it for now. With a delicate gesture, I put my bangs at the back of my ear and break the silence:

—Girls, I'm so sorry about what happened before.

—Are you truly sorry? —Ari asks turning her eyes from the window to look at me.

Jess is looking at me behind a curtain of smoke with her eyes engorged in flames. I don't know if it is the pot or the absolute anger that she feels towards me. My untimely question at the hospital unchained such violence that I doubt that was all the reasons she needed to explode at me. I think she was already feeling nasty about me from before that detonate today after my inappropriate moment. My question to Sophie was the last thing to make the balloon pop.

—Of course I'm sorry — I spit—. But you know I had to ask the goddamn question. I'm scared, for fucks sake! The same man that attacked Sophie was looking at me at the fucking subway and I'm next in line, I had to know it! —I yell at her unleashing my anger too. I feel a tear escaping my eye through my cheek.

Ari lowers her head with her eyes fixed in the ground. Her hair falls covering her face.

—What the fuck is she talking about? —Jess asks to Arianna forgetting the nasty face. She doesn't answers, so Jess stands up and asks again —Arianna, what the fuck is she talking about?

Ari lifts her head, her hair still covering part of her face but her eyes shows a bit.

—Noah told me this morning that yesterday at the subway a man dressed in black and a hood covering her face pushed her at the stairs and then waited for her at the tunnel looking at her for a long time. That's why she asked Sophie about her attacker —she's looking at me now— I understand that you're worried, at that moment I thought it was only you being paranoid and I got angry when you asked, but fuck, when Sophie described him I almost shitted my pants.

—Shit. Fucking shit! You two are telling me there's a fucking maniac free, in the streets?

—We should go to the police —I say.

—You don't say? Don't you think Sophie's mom already did that? The cops should have his description by now. Although I doubt that would make any use. Ari pushes her hair back again.

—Maybe the fact I saw him should help. I could tell them the station in which I bumped into him. Maybe they could set a pattern for his moves in the city. Besides... —I make a pause to swallow— I need them to know. I want them to protect me.

For a moment, we remain silent. The fear entered the room without invitation, like the smoke of Jess' almost consumed joint. It enters our bodies and paralyzes us; my stomach hurts from the nerves. Suddenly, the bell rings. The three of us jump in our sits at the same time screaming. We were so tense, trying to process the panic that took over us, that the ringing surprised us pretty bad. Ari runs to the window and opens it to ventilate the room. Jess destroys the remains of the joint and throws it outside the window. I have trouble breathing, I don't know how, but I feel something really bad is about to happen. The bell rings again. That sounds terrifies me and stiffens me.

—Your parents weren't outside of town? —Jess asks to Ari, the terror splattered over her face and her shaky voice.

—Come on girls, don't you think it is... Maybe is the neighbor or the mailman or anyone! We're taking this way too far. —She can hardly believe in her own words. —Let's go find out.

I take Ari's arm with strength.

—Let them ring, don't go.

Ari looks at me and I know she saw the fear in my eyes.

—Let go of me, you're hurting me —she yells— seriously, we are dumbass chickens— she says opening the door of her room and walking towards the door at the entrance. The bell rings again insistently. Jess and I are still in the room, in total panic.

—Don't go —I say again but it was so low I almost couldn't listen to myself.

I look at my hands, I didn't smoke pot but I'm sure the smoke affected me. The room is spinning around me and everything is in slow motion.

I look at Jess; she's curled up in the chair next to me. I turn my eyes again to the living room. A scream from the entrance door alerts me and stiffens me even more. Battling against myself, I get up and start walking to the hallway; I feel gravity leaving my body. The bell rings again but I can barely listen. My ears are only aware of the constant beat of my heart. My breathing is uneasy and I finally reach the entrance. Ari is on the floor, crying. She tries to point at something at the door but I'm bewitched. I take my eye to the peephole and notice how she clings to my leg but that doesn't stop me from looking. Slowly, the image forms and I see him. At the other side of the door, just a few inches away is The Man in Black. The same clothes, the same hood; I start losing my balance and tears escape my eyes, distorting my vision. I turn my back and lean against the door. I feel hitting against it and how it shakes with every punch; making my body falls slowly to the floor. Ari's crying is all I can hear now. I'm still trying to regain my balance but I fail miserably. The hits against the door are more constant now and grow in strength. I lift my head and see Jess, she seems to be screaming something but I can't hear her. I can't even seem to perceive her moves in a normal way. Everything goes slowly. Then, the hitting stops. The silence reigns like sound never even existed. The three of us are totally mute, containing our sobs and even stopping our tears from falling, making more noise. After five minutes that feels like hours, everything seems to go back to normal again. I fill myself with courage and I get up the floor to watch trough the peephole again, but I can't focus my vision. I inhale and try to relax. Finally, the sound comes to my ears naturally like some kind of decompression system around me just activated; making everything go back to normal. He's not there anymore.

«Mummy, it hurts»

***

Ari opens the door and two police officers enter showing their plaques and their ID in black leather cases. Jess and I are waiting, still shocked and sitting in the sofa.

—Good afternoon, ladies. I'm detective Fernandez and this is Detective Marquez —He presents himself and his mate with a vague gesture.

«I thought detectives only existed in movies»

The man who started the conversation is wearing a long gray coat that tries to hide a pair of worn navy jeans. His features are kind of harsh but give me confidence in him. His hair is very short and he keeps is neatly combed. Is a man of middle age and by the way he presented himself to us, seems to be very hygienic. His colleague doesn't wears any uniform too, is a young man wearing a suit that makes him very attractive but with a cold and distant look in his eyes. His face is a bit more unattended. His sharp chin holds a beard for a couple of days and his eyes show signs of eye bags. He barely looks at us, he seems more interested in examining the house.

—A man dressed in black —the same we believed attacked our friend Sophie— was punching my door! —Ari finally manages to say.

Both men look worried at each other. The one with the coat takes out a notepad from his pocket and a pen from one of the pockets near his chest. He licks the end of the pen and starts writing something on the notepad, with quick moves.

—Let's start from the beginning, calmly. Take all the time you need. Where are your parents, dear? —He asks to Arianna.

—On the way here. I called them and tell them what happened and they said they would be here immediately. They were taking a few days in the countryside.

—Did someone besides you girls knew they were outside too?

—No sir, no one else knew I was alone at home —Ari says afflicted while sitting beside me.

—How did you know a man in black attacked your friend? —Detective Marquez asks without walking around the place.

Even though I'm barely capable of saying something, detective Fernandez waits patiently till I manage to talk. With a lot of effort I say:

—She told us herself when we were visiting her at the hospital. The description she told us matched the man I bumped into yesterday.

Detective Fernandez looks at my expectant.

—Are you saying you had an encounter with the same man that attacked your friend and that is the same that was knocking on the door today?

I nod timidly; words are buried deep down in my throat again.

The ringer from the phone starts and I curl myself in the sofa, the panic resurging in me again. Jessi screams in fear, incapable of controlling herself. Detective Marquez approach her and holds her tightly trying to calm her.

«She's not that tough after all»

—The parents? —Fernandez asks while looking at Arianna and putting the notepad in his pocket again.

—I don't think so, is impossible they made it here that fast. —Ari says while taking the call.

—Your parents, Noah.

I sigh in relief. I forgot to mention I called them too.

We all wait awkwardly for them to arrive to the apartment. When they finally appear at the door I feel an uncontrollable desire to throw myself in my mother's arms but I remain calm and get off the sofa apparently relaxed. My mom doesn't think the same, and runs to me; holding me tightly. I appreciate the hug more than she would ever imagine, and then I brake. The tears start falling from my eyes and I can control it.

—We're going home, Noah —my mother says softly while she caress my hair. Like a little girl, she guides me to the door where detective Fernandez is talking to my father. He gives a white card to him. When I'm outside, I turn to see Ari. I wave and give her a tiny smile.

—One more thing —Fernandez says— I know you're pretty much shocked now Noah, but I would like for you to make an effort and calls us if you remember anything that would be of any us to the investigation.

I nod without saying a word. I don't have the strength.

I'm sitting in the back sit of the car already; I can't take my eyes of the window. Is night time and city lights are already lit, passing like shooting stars in front of me. The fear is comfortably installed in me and I can't wait for it to go and never return. I never imagined I would be involved in such a situation. I begging to question myself: How on earth The Man in Black knew where Arianna lives? Why did he stop punching the door and left? Did he know I was at the other side? Maybe he followed us from the hospital and then to Arianna's house. Could he be following me now? This last one makes me wriggle in my sit. I turn my head to look at the rear window. Dozens of vehicles, I can't see them very well since is nighttime and the lights make them look like blurry silhouettes. We could have that maniac right behind us and we couldn't know. I turn again to look at my mother. Her eyes are fixed in the road. She doesn't say a thing but seems really worried and angry. My father tries to hold her hand but she rejects it without a pinch of finesse.

«What is wrong with these two? »

We arrive to our building's parking lot and I make sure one last time that no car is following us. The automatic door closes behind us and my father parks the car in our spot. We leave the vehicle and walk to the elevator without saying a word. The famous awkward silence is keeping us company. The place smells like gasoline and the lightning in the parking lot is soft, giving the place a creepy feeling and, to me; horrific. While walking, something brings my attention. Behind a column is a man, moving slowly. One of the lights flows over him, projecting his shadow all over the pavement.

—Noah? —there's a hint of alarm in my mother's voice.

I'm paralyzed again, I can't take my eyes off the shadow and the man seems to be as paralyzed as me. Suddenly, like a bolt, my father runs as fast as he can towards him.

—No! —I scream as loud as I can

But it's too late. My mother yells something I don't understand and my father is already behind the column. With a strong and agile move, he punches as hard as he can and the man falls to the ground with a loud thud that freezes my body. A string of blood starts pouring from his head. The black hood falls and we can see her face.

—Oh shit, it can't be! —My father is as shocked as me.

5

—I didn't think we would see each other again so soon —Detective Marquez says trying to hold a grin.

The lights from a police car bath the place in blue and red colors touching everything with the circular motion. At the end of the parking lot is an ambulance, I watch our neighbor from 20B being examined by the paramedics. To my right is a police agent taking my father's declaration. Detective Marquez is trying to calm my mother the same way he did with Jess. He succeeds. He must have a special skill calming down hysterical women.

—What happened here Noah?

I look at detective Fernandez but can't hold my eyes in his for too long. I'm overwhelmed.

—I... —I swallow hard— I thought that...

—Easy, I know you're scared, but you must control your fear. I'm sure every people wearing a black hood would make you alert of your surroundings but we can't arrest or attacked every people that match the same description. I know it sounds hard but I need you to be strong.

I nod without lifting my head and slightly pouting. The man is right; I can't lose myself for this. I must be strong.

«Mummy, it hurts»

He places a friendly hand over my shoulder and hugs me. I let myself go. I feel safe in his arms. Nothing would harm me if he protects me. Tears begin pooling in the corners of my eyes and I start crying again.

***

I'm sitting in front of my computer screen. After detective Marquez finished taking notes of my father's declaration we left. We weren't sure if the neighbor would present charges against him for the aggression. My father seemed very worried for whatever would happen to us after the incident. He also seems sad, that man was his friends of many years and he injured badly. He was now in the hospital with a severe traumatism. I look at my phone, lying in the desk next to me. I take it and shove it in one of the drawers. I don't feel like looking the thing for a while. I open the social network and log in; I'm expecting a flood of notifications from what happened in the afternoon maybe the whole school already knows thanks to Arianna and Jess, but is a pleasant surprise to discover nothing has changed here. Nobody knows a thing. I close the browser and open the chat program. Nor Ari or Jess are online, Leo doesn't seem to be either. I keep scrolling until I found the person I'm looking for, Cesar16Mad is online. Without doing anything, a window pops in my screen.

Cesar16Mad: Good evening Noah. How are you?

I take a moment to answer. I'm not really in the mood for talking. Fear is still haunting me.

Me: I'm not feeling very good to be honest.

Cesar16Mad: What? Why?

I tell him everything that happened in Ari's house.

To my surprise, a file appears in the conversation. I think is a new picture. I feel curious so I accept it and the download begins. When it's finished, I open the file and...

«Don't fuck with me»

Me: What the fuck is this, Cesar?

Cesar16Mad: I think it's pretty clear, Noah. Is a picture of you, naked.

Me: How the hell did you find this!?

Cesar16Mad: That doesn't matter. The important thing is I have the picture and a couple of very interesting videos.

«Son of a bitch»

My body shakes uncontrollably. I'm horrified.

«Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! How you let this happen!? »

Me: I don't like this! I want you to delete whatever you have of me, if this is a joke it isn't funny, I swear.

Cesar16Mad: Is no joke, Noah. I've been looking at you for weeks in the social network. Those bikini pictures of you in the water park with your friends are delightful. It makes my dick hard and all. You sure had a fun time.

My body is still shaking and I'm cold. I don't know how I manage to write a reply

Me: Why me?

Cesar16Mad: No particular reason. You just captured my attention while I was looking for sweet girls, like you. I've fantasized so many filthy things with you.

«Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! »

I'm tempted to turn off the computer, but I can't move.

«Wrong»

Cesar16Mad: I want you to turn on your webcam and put on a show for me. I'll set the rhythm and all.

Me: I'm not going to do anything, I'll alert my parents.

Cesar16Mad: I don't think so. The thing is, Noah... I know where you live, where you study and I have plenty of photographic material to sink you in front of everyone; even your parents. If this doesn't convince you, I think I'll pay a visit to your mom. I'll bring my black hood and I'll proceed to fuck her so hard she wouldn't be able to return home.

My heart is throbbing. I think it could explode anytime. My mouth is dry and I can barely see straight. I'm completely dizzy and my head is spinning; is like the roof just fell over me. I wish for that to happen. How could I be so stupid? Now my family is in danger. I can let him harm my mother! I slowly press the button that connects the webcam and a new window appears in the screen, where I can see myself.

Cesar16Mad: That's better Noah. I see we can understand each other. Now, take of your clothes; slowly. Keep this window open so you can follow my orders.

Obeying, I get up the chair and begin taking my clothes off. My body hasn't stop shaking. I feel uncomfortable and horrified. My breasts are already showing, next are my panties.

«Mommy, it hurts»

I drive my shaky hand to my sex and start caressing it very slowly.

Cesar16Mad: Touch your tits with your other hand.

I perform every petition. I feel fragile and completely desperate for this to over. I'm Naked in my room, illuminated only by the shine of the computer screen. The silence makes everything more disgusting. I start whining; I try very hard not to break out but it's useless, I cry. I think that might warm my aggressor's heart but I'm wrong again. It seems to turn him on, even more than he already is.

Cesar16Mad: That's it little doll, you know exactly what I like.

I can't stand it anymore. Decided, I stop touching myself and I walk to the monitor to turn it off but I fail. I curse myself for paying attention to the last comment.

Cesar16Mad: Think about your lovely mother. God, I swear I'll cut her neck while I fuck her.

I think I'll vanish soon. But I don't have that luck. I continue obeying his order without resistance. I show my intimacy, touching every inch of my body, manipulated by the corrupted mind of The Man in Black.

«Mummy, it hurts»

6

—Noah, are you feeling alright?

I lift my head to look at the science teacher. He's standing in the corridor and seems to be worried. Three months has passed since the incident and I haven't heard of Cesar16Mad who happened to be The Man in Black. The monster who forced me to do those disgusting things I don't want to remember and I decided to lock deep down in my memories. He abused me in some way, at least that's how it felt. A sensation of healing was taking over me one step at a time. I didn't told Arianna a single word of what happened to me, but she seemed to be better too. Surely, that bastard was bored once he got what he wanted and took with him my innocence in the process. Everything seemed to be just a bad dream. Sophie was back in school, but se surely wasn't the same girl we knew. She didn't speak and if someone tried to approach her she would start screaming hysterically. Maybe I was as screwed as her, but I tried to see things in a more positive vibe. Maybe it was already over, but I still reported any picture of me in the social network. I was paranoid that other maniac would abuse me. I had a serious fight with Arianna about the pictures and videos she had of me. She swore over and over again that she never shared them with anyone, but I didn't believe her. I was more aware of how exposed I was on the internet. I never acknowledged the truth. I change the way I dressed, even my behavior, but that couldn't change the fact that I was still a child, that couldn't imagine the way a maniac's mind would work and his brutality.

—Noah? Can you hear me? —the teacher insists.

— Yes, I'm okay. —I fake a smile

Without giving him any time to continue the conversation, I run through the corridor and bump into Ari.

—Dude! What's wrong?

—It's nothing...

She changed since that day. I look at her from bottom to top. She seems different; she even has massive eye bags under her eyes. It looks like somebody punched her. Our lives took a massive turn since that day, even though time has passed, we still don't know a thing about the aggressor and we can't stay calmed. We will always have the doubt.

—Have you seen Jess? —she asks in a worried tone.

—No. I haven't seen her in a while —but it wouldn't be the first time either.

—I called her but she never picks up or returns my calls —she takes her phone out of her pocket and checks it. But nothing shows.

—I'm going to the library today. Do you want to come? —I ask, but I already know the answer.

—No, I'm going to Jess' place. I', really worried.

—Ok then. See you in class.

—Okay, we'll see. —She leaves my side with both eyes glued to the phone screen, waving at the air.

I'm alone again in the corridor. I try to find my phone inside my bag but I have no luck, so I desist and leave the school to the library.

The City Library is an old building at the very center of what I call "the nest", a bunch of tall edifications surrounding the area of the Words Keeper, and my favorite place ever. I have spent innumerable hours between those walls. I walk to the entrance, dodging two guys standing in front of the crystal door. Is full of people, specially these days in which everyone is preparing to take finals. I go the second floor, were the books I'm interested in are waiting for me. I pass the reception where a middle aged janitor that I can't remember ever seeing there is watching every girl that passes. I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid but I don't like the way he looks at me. I'm even more disturbed by his smile, so I quicken my steps but a voice stops me.

—Miss...

I notice a hand taking me by my arm and I panic. I turn to see the janitor and scream in total fear, hoping for the worst. Everyone stops whatever they're doing to look at us. Silence has taken over the place. The janitor seems scared too, his face is torn. He lifts his hand revealing an object. It's my wallet.

«Ok, I totally screwed it»

—Your wallet fell off your bag, miss —he breaks the silence and my soul.

His voice sounds different and I realize he's handicap. I feel like the worst person standing in the Earth.

—What's going on here!? —A woman's voice resounds in the floor from afar.

Is a voice I recognize. Like me, everyone resumes they activities. I notice them gossiping —about me of course— hiding their faces behind the books. The woman arrives, is the librarian. She is an old woman that's always wearing a perfectly ironed suit, glasses and a high bun. She's never kind to anyone.

—What kind of behavior is this, Noah? —She scolds me like I'm her daughter.

—I... —I begin but doesn't seem to find the words. —I'm sorry —I say.

—This is a library, not a school yard! —The woman throws an angry face at the janitor I confused for a pervert. He lowers her face, obviously sad and disappointed in himself and goes away immediately— I hope this never occurs again. —she says pointing her finger directly to my face.

I force my eyes to emit a convincing apology. It seems to work, she goes away. Her heels are making a resounding noise in the polished floors.

I sigh deeply and try to push the thought from my mind. I'm getting good at forgetting things these days. I resume my walk to the aisle I'm searching for. There are still eyes over me, judging me.

The place is a labyrinth that keeps books safe, I love it. I finally found the book I was looking for, so I take it from the shelf and go to the nearest table and sit to enjoy it, trying to keep the noise to the minimum. I lose myself between the pages for hours.

Time passes and I feel like I've only read for five minutes, but I also know I tend to lose the track of time when I do. My neck hurts already. I lift my head to look around and discover I'm the only one left in the place, except for a woman that is writing in a notebook. Everybody is gone. Is already nighttime and I'm still at the library! I reach for my bag and start searching for my phone but I can't found it anywhere. I flip the thing over the table until it falls making a loud thud. When I unlock the screen I notice I have at least a dozen of missed calls from Ari and a new mail. I'm getting anxious just by the thought of being alone there.

New Mail:

From: arilaloca69@mailboxx.com

To: noah16mad@mailboxx.com

Noah, I'm calling you but you're either busy or ignoring me. I need to meet you, something happened and it's important that you know it. I'm so freaking nervous dude, please come tonight to CXC Pub. I'll be waiting along with Leo and Mike.

I don't want to go, but she seems really worried. I take my stuff and shove it back again in the bag, including the book I was reading and leave the place hurried. I'm getting nervous with every second. The street is already illuminated by tall streetlights and just like the library, is completely deserted. I summon all the courage I have left in my body and start walking with determination through the solitary street.

«Why would Ari be so nervous? »

Once inside the place, I found Ari sitting next to Leo and Mike. The table is already filled with several empty glasses. The place is crowded and the noise is annoying but what makes it worse is the music. Michael Jackson is playing in the background. I found my way to the table and Ari pulls her hand up to wave at me when she spots me. Mike doesn't even bother and Leo greets me with a warm smile. My relationship with the opposite sex is a bit bumpy, so I treasure that selfless smile in my heart.

—How's things dude? —Ari shouts without getting up her sit.

Mike waves lazily and Leo stands up to let me through. I don't know how I ignored this guy when he was clearly the best choice for me. I've never been good to identify the good from the bad in people. The music has changed already and Lady Gaga is blasting through the speakers. A beautiful girl dressed in light clothes gets to our table and asks me what I want to drink.

—I'll get a beer, thank you.

She writes my request in a tiny notepad and leaves, swaying her perfect ass in the process and getting the attention of every single man in the room. Ugh.

—Well, what was that thing you had to tell me?

Ari takes a sip and then looks seriously at me. Her eye bags are even more pronounced tonight.

—Jess' parents signed her in a psycho ward. Well, they called it "special care center". But I searched the place in Google and is a psycho ward for sure. God, poor thing. —She takes another sip— I'm really worried Noah, I know I shouldn't; but I am. I told everything to Leo and Mike.

I look at them shocked, forgetting they were there all the time; they too seem worried for what Ari had to say.

—Don't worry about a thing, Noah. If someone tries anything funny they will have to pass over us first. —Mike says clenching his fists.

I believe him, I try to smile but all I get is a tiny twist in the corners of my mouth. Leo tries to hold my hand but my instinct makes me pull it off him. When I realize what I've done I try to stop mid-way. This is completely new to me. He finally holds it and I feel the warmness of his skin spreading all across my body.

—Mike is right, it someone tries to hurt you we'll beat the crap out of them. —Leo says.

«Where were you when that monster abused me? »

The waitress returns with my beer, putting it on the table along with a little plate with the receipt. I open my bag to fetch the money but Leo stops me and deposits the exact amount on the plate. The waitress retrieves the plate leaning a bit so her cleavage shows. Both Mike and Leo stick their eyes on her until she goes away. Funny, they were talking about protecting us from perverts a minute ago and are now behaving like one. I take a sip from my beer and look around. It seems even fuller than twenty minutes ago.

—Noah, spring break is coming and we thought about going to a cabin.

—A cabin?

—Yes dude! Don't you think it would be perfect? Maybe we could finally relax and forget about everything.

«More like the perfect place for a maniac to attack as he pleases»

—What are you exactly thinking about? —I ask trying not to sound annoyed.

—well, is not too far away —Leo speaks this time, and leans a bit to the center so everyone can hear—. Mike knows a place available for rent.

Maybe that would have been a good idea long time ago, but now I'm not excited at all. Every movie I've seen comes to my mind. Those were a bunch of teenagers goes to a cabin in the middle of nowhere for spring break and end up murdered by the villain. Now I'm being offered a similar experience. The idea sounds good if we omit the possible assassination.

—I see you guys planed this beforehand —I bite my tongue to avoid saying what I really think about the trip.

—Come on, Noah! We need this —Ari says shaking her head— we'll be able to forget this entire nightmare.

«I don't think I'll ever forget it»

She makes a puppy-eyed face. I guess all she really wants is to be alone with Mike. She only got scared by a man who punched her door for a while. I don't think she would be so eager to go if someone would have force her to take off her clothes in front of a camera. She clings to my hand and keeps telling —Pleeeeease! — But I get to be with Leo. I don't know, maybe it would be good if I stop being paranoid.

—Okay, okay! I'll go —I take another sip from my beer. The song in the background says "How can I be sure?" and I make the same question to myself.

—Yes! I'm so happy! We'll have a blast, I assure you!

Her happiness is contagious; she no longer seems the pale, sick girl from five minutes ago. Even the guys look upset. They try to hide it behind that "I'm strong and masculine" façade. But I know the truth. Jess is trapped in a psycho ward; Sophie will never be the same and me... Me...

«Mummy, it hurts»

I can't shake that off my mind. I can't also forget the way he looked at me while forced me to touch myself, while I cried and suffered. My parents never knew. Their daughter was being abused just a few feet away while they watched TV.

—Noah, you want me to walk you home tonight? —Leo asks, once again bringing me back from the dark corner of my mind.

—Yes, please —He seems very serious, even stern. It makes me smile —I would like that very much.

The sound and motion of the train is relaxing and makes me sleepy. I close my eyes and try to sleep for a while, but Ari's voice brings me back.

—This is exciting, right? —She poses her hand over my knee—. I was worried our parents wouldn't let us go.

—I think the fact that the guys went specially and asked for permission had something to do with it.

—They're being a dream with us, I can't wait to see the place already

I look through the window. The view is outstanding; a field full of flowers extends through the whole landscape. I visualize myself there, breathing the clean air and the sweet perfume that escapes from the flowers. Without getting my eyes of the view I say:

—Do you remember when we were kids?

—Of course, how could I forget?

—Remember the day we met? I was so small. Those girls were bullying me and broke my doll. —I grin slightly— I really loved that doll— Ari looks at me and we enter together into memory lane. I can feel the sadness that took over my little body that day.

—Poor thing, you were crying nonstop —Ari says— you were paralyzed and shaking.

—Then you came up and punched them so hard some of them went home without several teeth —we both smile this time— In the end the doll suffered the same destiny but you came over and handed it to me. Your clothes were trashed! —I burst in laughter.

—Hey! —she says playfully—. The moment I gave you the doll you stopped crying immediately and you gave me the cutest smile ever. I knew then I should take care of you forever.

—And it's been exactly like that —we keep laughing.

—Yeah... remember that fat girl? She took it with you for some reason.

—Shut up! She kept bullying me for a whole year —I say curling up a bit on my seat.

—To be honest I feel a little bit guilty —Ari scratches her head— I hit her so hard she had to wear a neckband for weeks! —my comment unlocks the loudest of laughs between us.

—I see you both are having fun —Leo interrupts.

The boys return with sandwiches and coke. Mike sits in his spot making a loud thud the exact moment a couple of angry old men are passing through. They look at him with disdain. But Mike doesn't seem to worry about it. Leo hands me a sandwich and a can of coke, I take both grateful. Ari takes his part and we both share a knowing look. I take a bite on my sandwich and turn my head to the window again. I finally get to relax for a moment and forget all the bad stuff concerning my life.

We finally arrive to our destiny; we all keep waiting for everybody to get out of the train, except for Mike. He stands and tip-toes in one side to get his suitcase, getting hit by everyone trying to pass through, of course. When the wagon is less full we stand up and start collecting our suitcases without rushing. Mike is waiting for us outside, smoking a cigarette. He doesn't seem to respect the fact that he actually isn't allowed to do it in the platform, but I already had enough scolding him inside the train so I don't say a word and drop my suitcase in the floor, leaning it a bit so both wheels are maintaining it in balance. I grab the handgrip and take a deep breath; I can feel a soft breeze caressing my cheek. This is going to be a special weekend.

***

The room is in total darkness, but he knows where every piece of furniture is placed. Moving slow and steady, he gets to the table where a computer monitor awaits him in the shadows. With a shaky finger, he turns on the monitor and the artificial light projects all over the room, generating shadows everywhere. He turns to look at the shelf to his right, is full with pornographic movies, to his pride; examining every title carefully and fantasizing about every scene he can possibly remember. He notices the erection forming inside his pants and proceeds to sit in the chair, in front of the computer screen. He looks long at the image he picked as wallpaper, losing himself in dark thoughts. A strong desire numbs his body and the erection in his pants is so hard it hurts. Those eyes looking back to him from the wallpaper make him crazy. He takes time admiring the soft lips of the girl in the screen, tender and innocent. "Innocent" that word makes his breath uneven. He looks to her breasts, bulging in a yellow t-shirt, perfectly round and firm, imprisoned in a purple bra. His leg moves involuntarily, he's getting nervous. He would love to touch that lustrous black hair and kiss every inch of that perfect, young body. To reach her was easier than he expected. The social networks have been the perfect place to pick a victim; he just needed the privacy of home and soon was browsing hundreds of pages till he founded the perfect one. A classmate of the girl uploaded an entire album with pictures from a school trip to the water park and it was public so anyone could see. It was then when he saw her, in a tight bikini, posing with her friends. The thought gets him out of his mind and he proceeds to caress his member. He's submerged in his thoughts, remembering how he found the school in which she studied, and he knew that school, perfectly well. He had all he needed to proceed; he added one of her friends and with crafted ability passed for a young attractive boy. Things well exactly as he planned, the girl bit the hook and gave him many details of her friends life, along with her email address. But the thing didn't end there; he met a person who gave him an atrocious amount of pictures and heated videos of the girl. That young body covered only with light underwear that made her privates see-through, posing in front of the mirror in provocative ways. He's more and more excited with every thought of his multimedia treasure. He needs her. He doesn't really know what he will do when the time comes, the only thing in his mind, to posses her. Noah is her name and the last conversation he had with her gave him the power to control her. He only needs to threaten and she will do everything. He did it other times and went perfectly good. With his eyes fixed in the wallpaper, he finishes, convulsing, panting. It's time to have her. It's time.

***

—Sleep with me tonight, please. —Leo seems perplexed—. I don't think I'll be able to sleep at all if I'm alone in the room.

—Don't worry, I'll be with you.

I sigh in relief. I've really tried, but I can't stop thinking about The Man in Black. The words he used to threaten me, the pictures. Stupid Arianna, giving away my pictures without my consent. I wanted to scream at her, even considered to punch her for the incident. But she swore countless times that she didn't give away any photograph. It's true that part of the guilt was of all those classmates that kept uploading and sharing whole albums in a public setting in the social network. The loud laughing I hear brings me back from my thoughts. Ari and Mike have come back from their personal party. They enter stumbling on everything they touch, clearly inebriated. They greet us vaguely and enter the room. Minutes later, we can hear the unmistakable sound of the bed screeching. Leo and I share an annoyed look.

«Her moans are creepier than a ghost haunting a house»

Mikes start competing with her now.

—Do you want to go the room now? —I ask.

Yeah, I think that would be better —Leo answers.

We get into the room and I'm pleasantly surprised by the fact we can't hear them anymore. Only a few sounds from outside are perceivable. Leo turns on the small lamp to the side of the bed and we start changing our clothes. In a certain moment I'm standing there in my underwear and I notice him taking off his pants. When I turn, his boner greets me.

—I'm sorry, I...

—Don't worry, Leo. Why don't you go to the bed?

«What is that head of yours thinking about, Noah? »

He quickly gets into bed.

When I finish dressing up, I enter the bed and kiss him. His face turns red and I feel my body heating up.

—I don't want you to do anything you don't want —he says looking to my eyes.

I shush him, placing my index finger over his wet lips. I sink under the blanket and Leo's body start shaking. I'm not prepared for sex but I can compensate him for being such a gentleman with me before. I've never done this before, but it doesn't seem too difficult for me to take his penis in my mouth and suck. Just a couple of seconds after, I feel a thick and bitter liquid flooding my mouth.

—I'm sorry Noah! —He says trying to apologize

I make a gesture telling him to shut up again and try to sit in the bed. Is disgusting but I had no other option than swallow that thing.

—Is okay, I'll be right back.

I leave the room and go as fast as I can to the bathroom. I throw up several times. I'm pathetic. Trying to recover myself I brush my teeth at least three times. I turn off the lights and go back to the room feeling filthy. When I enter he's lying there like a log, without moving. He's already asleep.

«So this is my prince charming»

Disappointed and a bit angry with myself, I get into bed again with the comatose version of Leo. I don't think I'd wake him up even jumping as hard as I can. Resigned, I close my eyes and wait for the sleeping bug to take me to a less complicated place.

—You had fun last night, uh? —Ari asks to me while chewing on her toast.

—It was good, right? —Mike winks at Leo.

I'm a living tomato. Leo smiles in return to Mike's comment, like he indeed has done something amazing.

«Yeah, it was amazing. He lasted less than a minute under a blanket and gifted me with spectacular puking after that»

We're going to a fantastic place today near the river. Let's prepare everything. Is almost an hour from here —Leo explains.

—An hour? —I'm not feeling the hype.

—Maybe two —Mike states.

Sighing, I go back to the room to change and prepare my bag. I hear Ari screaming in the other side of the door something about bringing a swimsuit.

We had been walking for more than an hour, when we hit a two-path way. One of it would bring us to the mountain ahead and the other —if we can call it a path— descends in a risky slope to the river.

—We have to take this path? —Ari asks frowning and pointing to the slope.

—I don't know other way to get to the river anyway —Mike answers and shrugs.

—Well, I do. —Leo says— See that other slope? —He points to an impossible path —that's the other way.

We all give him an annoyed look. Is impossible to go down the other way he suggested. If the first one is already dangerous, the other is completely insane, and we could die for sure trying to go down there. Letting out a resounding sigh I hold my bag tightly and begin walking down the first slope. My shoes aren't specially made to hike so I slip from time to time but I manage to get to the other side. I can hear the constant complaints from Ari and Mike replying annoyed to her. I laugh; after all we made it the river.

—Is a wonderful place — I say turning to see Leo. He didn't break his neck —luckily— and I'm more relaxed. He was carrying the crate with the drinks.

—This place is shit, I swear! I'm going to fall and... —before she can say another word, she slips. But Mike manages to hold her before it happens.

She turns and kisses him dramatically

«And now you bite your tongue»

Is a good day and is hot outside. I take off my clothes and extend a towel over a big rock, sitting on it and feeling the warmth of the surface against my bottom and a refreshing breeze. We decide to enter the water. The first —of course— is Mike, jumping from the rock and soon follows Leo. Ari smiles to me and jumps too.

—Come on Noah! The water is delicious! —she yells splashing around.

I enter slowly, is not as cold as I expected and I appreciate the fact is completely clear. Although there's the eventual patch of mold I avoid, I could slip. We spent a good amount of time splashing and laughing, and then Mike takes Arianna's hand and pulls her out of the water.

—Let's go somewhere less crowded —He points to a patch of field near the slope Leo showed us before.

I'm not happy about being alone again with Leo, but Ari seems excited about getting away with Mike. In less than a minute they're already disappearing between the boulders.

—Yesterday was amazing, Noah.

Wow, very shitty way to break the tension, Leo. I can't decide what was worse; me puking my guts out or he passed out in less than two seconds. Is funny he thinks I actually enjoyed it.

—Yeah, whatever. It was ok. —I lie trying to force a smile —the truth is... —I stop talking the moment I see the worried expression in his face.

I look the same way he's doing and I discover what seems to bother him. There, trying to walk down the same slope we used is a man with a cane, slowly walking down. I can't see him clearly since he's so far away from us. All I know about the man is that he seems to be middle aged. He wears oval shaped sunglasses, t-shirt and shorts.

—What's wrong Leo? —I don't understand his reaction.

—I don't like that man, Noah —he says frowning— Look.

He enters a spot covered in dense foliage, trying to focus my eyes I spot him again, covered by twigs and leafs.

—What the fuck is he doing?

My heart starts beating faster and I start shivering. He took out his penis and his body seems to move constantly. He's masturbating.

—Aren't Mike and Ari in that zone? —I ask, panic filling my body.

—Fuck, yes they are! Damn, they're really stupid.

I look at the man again. He's still there.

«What the hell is wrong with us!? »

Leo starts screaming Mike's name several times; the man doesn't seem to care at all and keeps going. My paranoia makes me think he's actually looking at us. But then I see Mike climbing the slope with ability, ignoring Ari's screaming.

—What does he think he's doing!? —Leo says while getting out of the water.

—Leo, please don't go! Don't leave me alone here.

He ignores me and runs to the rocks trying to get to Mike. He's already getting close to the man that stopped masturbating and stands there now, waiting for him. I feel like I'm drowning. Again, the world start going in slow motion. Is the same sensation I had in Ari's place when The Man in Black was punching the door. Leo keeps running as fast as he can, dodging the rocks to get to Mike. Ari keeps screaming hysterically, her voice echoing everywhere. Mike has almost reached the man's side and I see him positioning himself in a defensive posture. I want to react, to do something but I simply can't. A cold feeling is taking over my body while Leo screams something incomprehensible. Mike and the man are fighting, and is not going to end well, the man is considerably taller in comparison to Mike, which gives him advantage. Mike tries to punch him but fails every time. To make things worse, Leo makes an effort to climb faster but he falls and breaks his knee, I don't think I can stand this any longer, but Ari screams again, and it sounds like the very earth is screaming with her, which makes me turn my attention back to the fight again. I can't take my eyes off them, and suddenly everything is more vivid. Mike's body is flying through the air and I see him so clear and slow, I'm sure I will never forget the way he fell to his death. His body hits every rock around several times while he rolls down, until he reaches the bottom and I lost sight of him. Ari continues screaming nonstop and Leo cries in the ground but manages to point at the man that goes away running. I can't believe what is happening, I can't breathe or think properly, I'm paralyzed again, unable to do something, helpless. And I cry until I run out of tears, flowing with the current of the river.

7

—I don't know what to say...

Detective Fernandez voice tries to get to my ears, but I'm way to disturbed to hold a conversation with him. Not now. I just witnessed my best friend boyfriend assassination. I've seen the way his body fell down a cliff. The last thing I want to do is talk, but I'm guessing he will not leave me alone until I do.

—I know this is very hard for you, Noah, but we need you to describe the man who killed your friend. —He sits in a black chair behind his desk—. Your parents are on their way, we just talked to them.

I'm sitting in a black leather sofa, holding my head and covered by a blanket that stinks like naphthalene.

—What about my things? I left them in the cabin

—Don't worry about that, we retrieved them.

I hear a drawer opening; I take my hands off my head and look up. Detective Fernandez seems to look for something —without luck— inside. He notices I'm looking at him and his face becomes somewhat more relaxed, he gives me a sweet smile and says:

—It's really important you tell us something about that man. Your friend is in shock and you...

I interrupt him

—What about my other friend.

—Your friend Leo? Yes, he is in the hospital. He broke his knee —he plays with a pen that lies over the desk— you're the only one who can gives us some answers.

I let escape a deep sigh from my mouth and try to control myself from having another break down.

—He was a middle aged man, wearing oval shaped sunglasses —the moment I start speaking he begins writing in a notepad with the same pen he was playing with before—. He was also wearing a t-shirt and shorts.

—Did you got to see his face?

—I was far from them, but I think he didn't have a beard, his face was round. I don't know what else to say.

—Is okay, Noah —he says leaving the pen over the notepad while passing his fingers through his hair.

—He took out his penis.

—What? —His face goes pale.

—He took out his penis and began masturbating. Mike wanted to protect us and he killed him. He pushed him.

Detective Fernandez has gone mute and I feel worse. I cry, he gets up and walks to me, putting his hand over my shoulder and I surprise myself when I move apart from his touch with brusqueness. I don't want him to touch me. Fernandez retrieves his hand slowly.

—I'm going to get a coffee. Do you want something?

—No, thank you.

He leaves the office. I can see outside trough the blinded windows. Detective Fernandez is speaking to an old man in the corridor. He's dressed in a blue suit and sports a white beard. He keeps looking at me through the window with a serious face while he listens to whatever Fernandez is telling him. I take my eyes off his, I can't hold my tears. Time passes, and without knowing, I fall asleep in the sofa.

***

—Noah, can you hear me?

A sweet woman voice wakes me up from my slumber, I slowly open my eyes trying to focus my vision and discover my mother standing there to my side. Her eyes are red, probably from crying. Besides her is Fernandez and the white bearded man.

—We're going home, darling —my mother says taking my hand to help my stand up. When I do, I hug her side and we walk to the door. Detective Fernandez opens the door for us politely. We pass him and I stop to say:

—It was him, right?

—I'm sorry?

—The Man in Black killed Mike, right?

—Noah! —my mother gasp, but it barely makes a sound.

—We can't dismiss any piece of information, darling —the white bearded man voice reaches my ears. It's a powerful voice. I keep looking at Fernandez, he seems disturbed—. We've open an investigation that... —my ears stop listening and every sound becomes an incomprehensible mumbling.

—Don't be scared, Noah. I'll do whatever it takes to protect you —Detective Fernandez says as soft as he cans but I also notice the anger in his voice. Those words are the only ones that my ears process. Somehow it's comforting and I feel guilty for what I did before when I pulled myself off him. I reach for his hand and hold it in mine with strength.

—Thanks, detective —I say looking at him

My mother pushes me softly so I get moving and my hand slides of Fernandez hand. The white bearded man stopped talking. The door closes behind and we leave without saying a word.

During the ride home, my mother doesn't talk. She seems extremely upset and keeps her attention in the road. I ask her about dad and she tells me he's waiting for us at home. I don't think she'll say anything else. I don't really want to talk either, so my eyes are fixed in the window looking at the figures outside, blurred and shapeless as we pass them. After twenty unending minutes we arrive to the building and go up to the apartment. My dad is waiting for us in the sofa. The moment he hears the door open, he runs to me and hugs me tightly. I try to avoid it but he has me firmly locked in his embrace. When he decides to end the awkward hug, he looks to my mother. It's obvious something's not okay with them. She tosses the keys over a plate near the door, takes off her coat and goes to the kitchen without saying a word.

—Dear God, Noah... I won't let anything horrible happen to you again. From now on I'll be your shadow —my father says, firmly convinced of his words. But I know it's not true, he will only be an annoying companion for a day or two and will soon forget about his passionate promise. I know I can count with my mom though. She enters the living room again and like is nothing; she suddenly drops a bomb on me.

—The police said you should be at home for a while.

—Like, locked down here?

—That's right —she's serious.

I don't say anything, I don't really want to go out either but I don't think is wise to be here, trapped. Besides, there's something she doesn't know... The killer can come home easily and any time he wants, I just have to turn on my computer and activate the webcam. As things are, I'm not even secure in my own house.

—Noah, are you listening? —my mother asks while dropping her earrings in the same plate she tossed the keys.

My pocket vibrates, is my phone. I take it out and see; is Arianna. I completely forgot I had my phone with me. I can see the silly face Ari did when I snapped that picture in the park a year ago. Seems twisted that she appears there smiling after all that has happened. I don't really know if I should pick up, so I cancel the call and put my phone back on my pocket. My parents are staring at me, worried.

—Do you mind if I go to my room?

—No, its okay honey. Try to get some sleep.

I flash a weak smile and leave the living room. When I open the door to my room, I get the feeling that I've been away for so long. Everything looks different to me. My computer is exactly in front of me. I can't suppress the fear getting over my body. That bastard... I know I shouldn't, but I sit in front of the computer and turn the thing on. I take a deep breath, I just had an idea. If I go online and he happens to be there too I could trick him into showing me his face through the webcam. I could make a screen capture and the police would have something to track him down.

«Too easy Noah»

Wait a minute; sometimes the hardest things are actually the easiest. Why that son of a bitch wouldn't make a mistake? If I trick him and provoke him, I could get his picture. I stare at the chat software logo for an eternity until I finally decide I'll do it. Is crazy, but I will. It could be my only chance. I start the program and realize I'm shaking and have difficulties to breath.

«Get your shit together Noah! If you let him know you're nervous you won't get what you want»

I try taking deep breaths but not even that calms me. The program boots slower than ever, everything is slow around me, is the same sensation from other times. I sigh in relief when I discover his not online. A window emerges, making me jump in my seat.

Chat with Ari 22:04H

Ari: Dude, why won't you pick up your phone?

Me: I'm sorry; I don't really want to talk. I'm super tired.

Ari: I can't stand it Noah. That's why I was ringing; I can't stop thinking about it. I'm broken.

Me: I know Ari, I don't process this yet. I want to think it was just a bad dream.

Ari: I have the stupid thought that I'll see Mike again. Give me a sec.

Her status changes to "Not available". I'm sure she's crying, it must be horrible to know your boyfriend was killed, and to make things worse, in front of you. Mike wasn't precisely my best friend but I saw it, the way he flew through the air and lost his life. It's something I'll might never be able to forget.

Chat with Cesar16Mad 22:07H

My heart stops for a second and I really think I'm going to faint any second. But nothing happens, I'm staring at the screen and in the other side is the madman who abused me; The Man in Black.

«CALM DOWN, this is your opportunity»

I try to relax. But I can't take out of my mind what he already did to me and I'm not exactly sure of what I'm capable of.

Cesar16Mad: Hello, princess.

Me: Hi

I insert a smiling emoji

Cesar16Mad: I see you're happy.

An intense hate feeling overwhelms my body and pushes the fear away. My anger is getting thicker.

Me: I can't complain.

Cesar16Mad: I'm glad you're online tonight; I wanted to talk to you so bad. The other day was special.

«Now! »

Me: Yeah, I loved it too.

I think I took him by surprise; he takes his time to reply.

Cesar16Mad: I'm glad to know that, doll. So... would you like to do it again?

Me: I wouldn't mind...

Cesar16Mad: You can't possibly know how turned on I am right now.

Me: Start your webcam

A shared session begins and I see a new window where just half of his body shows.

«Shit, this is not going to be easy»

To think that it would be sew and sing was stupid from my part. But not everything was lost, at some moment I would ask him to show his face. Decided, I take off my t-shirt showing my bra.

Cesar16Mad: Hmm, delicious. I'm very happy with this Noah.

Me: I'm happy too.

Cesar16Mad: Why don't you touch yourself?

A shiver is sent down my spine. The disgust is eating me from the inside. But I have to be strong, I have to try. I arch the webcam and focus my legs. Slowly, I take them off and stand there in my underwear. I drive my hand to my sex and caress the zone without removing the fabric. What happens next is disgusting; he removes his pants and starts masturbating. I can't see his face yet and I'm getting dizzy, I have to do something, fast.

Me: I would love to see your face. That would turn me on so much.

Cesar16Mad: That's a good idea, little doll. I want you to go wild and put up a good show for me.

«Jackpot! »

I couldn't believe he actually fell for that. It was so easy... Maybe his computer knowledge was reduced just to browse the internet, and that makes me happy enough, the man is an ignorant of what you're actually capable to do with a computer. I see how he moves his camera so her face is showing. I look at a face that would haunt me forever, round, no beard. His nose is big and fat, he wears glasses and behind them two small eyes stare at me. He doesn't have hair, except for a patch in each side of his head. Quickly, like my life depends on it (actually, it does) I press the key to capture the image on the screen. I did it, I'm feeling cold and my whole body is made of jelly. The default sound for the screen capture command sounds all over the room. My speakers are activated. I don't care; I have him against the wall now. His camera turns off and I do the same with mine. I dress again as quickly as I can, my body is still shaking, and I don't want to faint.

Cesar16Mad: You fucking whore, you'll pay for this!

Me: You're screwed, asshole! I have your picture.

Cesar16Mad: And what do you want to prove with that? I only chatted with you, it's not a crime. Besides, before police can find me I have all the time in the world to hide the gift I have for you. God I'll enjoy fucking your mother's mouth.

«It's a trap, don't fall for it. You have his picture! »

Me: I don't have anything more to say to you. I'm calling the police

Cesar16Mad: Not so fast beautiful. There's someone here that has something to tell you.

His webcam activates again and my heart stops. In the other side of the screen, gagged and her eyes open with scotch tape, lifeless, her face bruised...Is Jess. He holds her by her wrists and shakes her like a puppet. Her naked body is full of cuts. I try to scream with all the strength my lungs are capable of, but nothing comes out of me.

«Stupid! Make another capture!»

Completely hypnotized by the images in front of me, I'm unable to move. Mi mind screams to me and tells me to press the key to make another capture, but my body doesn't reacts. I burst in tears and push myself to make the capture, but at the same moment, the shared session ends and I discover I captured a black screen. I can't stop crying, the fear more present than ever.

Cesar16Mad: See dear? Now you got me mad for real. You were special but I think is time for me to punish you.

I don't know how, but my body reacts by itself, like I'm possessed by a demon. Everything explodes inside of me, I start screaming in frustration and with an impressive strength I didn't knew I had I take the monitor and toss it far from me. The wires break and the monitor crashes in the wall, sending pieces of plastic all over the room. I keep screaming and taking whatever gets to my hand, destroying it and tossing it. My father enters the room and traps me between his arms. I try to break free, kicking the air and scratching him. I can't stop myself.

«Mummy, it hurts»

***

I'm in a white room, lying in a hospital bed. Everything around me is white and smells like medicine. I feel weak but totally relaxed. An IV is attached to my wrist with the liquid passing through my veins. I try to focus my vision but I don't even have the strength to open my mouth. The only thing I can do is hear the conversation that unfolds in front of me. Several people are in the room, I think one of them is my mother.

—I don't know what happened. It was all of the sudden. We were in the living room and heard her scream.

—Madam, have you noticed something strange going on with her? D you control her activities online?

The new voice belongs to the white bearded man I met before in detective Fernandez' office.

—Of course she was acting strange, her friend got killed! A criminal is free on the streets for God's sake! —my mother yells at him, sobbing—. I don't control anything in her life, I've always trusted her. It never crossed my mind she could be doing something wrong.

—Madam, seventy percent of abuse cases today are through the internet and chat halls. We believe your daughter is being harassed over the internet.

—Oh my God, no...

I hear her uncontrollable sobbing.

—Madam, please stay calm. We don't know yet if this has something to do with Mike's death and The Man in Black but I think is the same person —the man clears his throat— we need you to tell us when Noah awakes. I'll leave an agent watching the room. It's important we talk to her as soon as possible.

They keep talking but I can't understand any of it anymore. The medicine knocks me off.

***

He contacted another user from a forum to share pictures. It was his little dark hobby. He doesn't feel good about it but is something he can't control. Watching little girls naked was something he liked before having Noah. He thinks nobody could possibly judge him for just looking and get pleasure with pictures. He knows where his limit lies and not every picture online gets his approval. After all, is not illegal in his country to watch this kind of pornography. He's a pedophile and who gets horny looking at kids online. Lately that perversion evolved and he discovered himself admiring his young daughter's body from time to time. At first, he felt so bad about it but he couldn't do much about it. It was inevitable. He also desired her friends and encouraged her to invite them to sleepovers as often as possible. He remembers that time when Noah was a toddler; he got her to another room and returned to make photographs of the other kids. Those pictures were his trade, he promised him a batch of the best pictures he could possibly imagine and the cost were just a few photographs of Noah's friends in underwear. To make time past faster he watches porn online. A new mail enters his inbox and like a kid in Christmas morning quickly opens it. Is the guy from the forum and he just sent him the files compressed titled "Master Piece". Before opening the file, he types a new mail and fulfills his part of the deal with a simple "thanks". Rubbing his hands together, he finally opens the file containing the pictures. There are at least five and he can already see a half-naked girl in the preview. He's about to burst, pressing one to fully see the photograph but something happens. His eyes filled with tears blurring his eyes and his body shaking uncontrollably. The girl in the pictures is his daughter Noah.

8

When I open my eyes, everything seems clearer than last time. I can see now where I am. I'm still "plugged" to the IV and several systems that help me breathe. A small TV is broadcasting that show I hate so much. The volume is so low that I can barely hear all the stupid things they say. The windows are open and a soft breeze enters the room, taking away the strong smell of medicine.

—Noah?

A timid voice is talking to me. I turn my head to see and I see an Emo guy standing there.

—Conrad?

—You know my name... —he smiles awkwardly, almost like he doesn't want to do it.

«He doesn't seems to be the smiling kind anyway»

—Thanks for coming to see me.

—Well... I'm here for other thing actually. —he blushes and starts touching the metal of the bed end nervously. —It's important Noah.

—Go ahead

«I'm used to bad news anyway»

—Is about Leo...

—What's wrong with him? —I ask worried. I try to stand a bit but my body hurts badly.

—Noah, he's not who you think he is —he pulls his fringe back and I can see his perpetually covered eye. He wears blue make up.

«Ok, maybe I'm not used to bad news after all»

—What happened, Conrad?

—I've been investigating these days, and I think he is The Man in Black.

I chuckle, it hurts.

—Leo? It's impossible.

He doesn't seem to like the fact that I'm laughing. He pulls a piece of folded paper from his pocket and tosses into my bed. He leaves without saying goodbye.

—Wait! —I try to retain him but he's already gone.

—Good! You're awake.

A nurse enters the room; she's very pretty and wears a pink uniform. An ID hangs from her left pocket.

—A friend of yours? —she asks looking at the door, like he's still there.

—No, just a boy from my school —I say vaguely. I'm feeling tired again.

—An admirer? —she teases— actually he's kind of scary, with those clothes and all. Don't you think?

—Different seems to scare other people —I don't know why I said that.

The nurse checks my record carefully.

—It's time for your medicine, everything else is fine —she leaves the record at the end of my bed and gives me a warm smile —what is this?

She takes the paper Conrad tossed over me.

—A love letter from your admirer? —she doesn't open it, but looks at me in a funny way —how romantic!

—Yeah, whatever. —I frown.

—Here —she gives me the note—. I think is really cute. By thee way, how long have you been awake?

—I don't know, less than thirty minutes.

—Didn't you see the agent?

—What agent?

—Of course, you were asleep and didn't know about him. The police left an agent to take care of you. You're very lucky —she winks at me— he's very handsome.

«I'm sure this bimbo doesn't know why I'm here in the first place»

—Well, I'm going to bring him, he must be resting. Every time I pass his standing there all stiff like a rock. But he looks at me when I do. Don't say anything okay? —she puts a finger over her mouth and smiling— I'll see you later, Ciao!

What a dumb one. I take the note and unfold Conrad's message. In between is a newspaper clipping dated 2008, four years ago. I leave it aside for a minute and look at the paper, it's a handwritten note.

"Hello Noah.

If you're reading this it means I finally gathered the balls to come and see you at the hospital, it also means you didn't believe a word I say and now you have the newspaper clipping. I think you'll get to believe what I said to you once you have read it. Noah, this is serious. Leo is not who you think he is. According to what I investigated, he had serious health problems from a very young age and was tossed in a psycho ward. Can you believe it? Apparently he got out some time later but had another breakdown and returned to the health centre. Some time passed and they decided he should be okay with medication. Noah, I'm sure he's The Man in Black and I believe Mike was part of it too. Excuse my words; I see death different than the rest of the people. Anyway, he's not a problem anymore, beware of Leo.

That was all. I quickly grab the clipping and read the headline, horrified.

«Boy attacks his parents, rapes his sister and ends in a special health centre»

Conrad was right! But it still doesn't prove anything about him being The Man in Black. I don't want to believe that, especially after having an actual declaration from The Man in Black and a picture in my power.

«Fuck, the picture! »

I look up and see what I was looking for, a button to call the nurse. I press it like crazy but nothing happens.

«Maybe is broken»

I decide to wait and calm myself down, I start getting nervous again after thinking about the picture. The last thing I remember is destroying the monitor. The nurse appears at the door again with a tray and my medicine. She seems happy and doesn't stop smiling at me.

—Well, is time! —she says very happily to my liking.

—I pressed the alert button —I say pointing at the thing.

—Weird, why it didn't alert me then? —She says while taking the small device in her hands. She places the tray over the side table and pulls out a syringe with a very large needle from one of the drawers.

—I can't give you the antibiotic through your IV because we have to wait for that to finish first, so I'll give you the shot in the other arm okay? It will just be a pinch and its okay if you feel sleepy afterwards —she tests the syringe first, making tiny drops of the medicine pop in the top of the needle. She rubs a cotton ball drenched in alcohol in my arm and proceeds to inject the liquid in my vein. It doesn't hurt but the feeling is unpleasant. She rubs another cotton ball where she just placed the needle and tells me I must make pressure for five minutes.

—There, it was nothing. Right? —she starts collecting the things again and takes the tray to leave the room. The moment she moves I look two very familiar eyes in the door. I'm sure is him. I will never forget those horrible glasses and those eyes. I try to catch the nurse's attention but the medicine has already made effect and I can't vocalize what I want to say.

—What's wrong honey? —she asks a bit scared from my expression.

«No, no, no, no! »

I look up again, and he is there, smiling at me. Fear overwhelms me. My heart is beating extra fast and I think it might burst any minute. Maybe that would be best for me. To never know what happened. My sight is blurred and the last thing I see is his triumphant expression, he's pleased to finally have me.

9

—Where am I? —I ask to myself.

I'm confused and I can barely open my eyes. When I do, I discover I'm still in the hospital bed. I look at the door again horrified, but there's only people passing. I'm sure I saw him; the sensation is utterly overwhelming. I press the call button again —it's working again— and another nurse appears at the door, is not the same girl from the other time, she's an old woman with thick eyebrows and an annoyed expression.

—What's wrong miss? —her voice is full of hostility.

—I need to speak with the detective... —I say still dizzy.

—What you need is rest —she says pushing me on my pillow again.

—But... it's important.

I look up, she's looking directly at me.

—It's better for you to rest —she checks my IV and says —Do not disturb the personal again if isn't something urgent.

«What. The. Actual. Fuck? »

I gather all the strength I have left and scream at the top of my lungs, the rush of adrenaline is too strong. The nurse is looking at me as she wants to kill me. Detective Marquez enters the room in a rush, he seems scared and pushes the nurse in the process, making her trip and fall to the floor.

—For God's sake! —she yells, scared.

He turns to look at her and I'm sure he gave her a terrifying look, because she got up and leave mumbling something incomprehensible.

—Are you okay, Noah?

I nod; I didn't notice how handsome the young colleague of detective Fernandez was. He leans on my bed and I can see his bright blue eyes, fixed on mine. He shaved his three day beard and looks even younger.

—You have been asleep for quite a long time. Apparently the nurse who gave you the shot gave you too much and the effect was immediate.

«That's why I feel asleep so fast...»

—I saw him.

—You saw who?

—The Man in Black. The same man who abused me on the internet.

His face goes pale in a moment; tiny wrinkles appear around his eyes.

—Where?

—Standing at the door, just before I dozed off.

He stiffens and adopts a very serious face.

—I'm so sorry, Noah. If I haven't let you all alone here... —He bites his lip with anger—. I'll call Fernandez. This bastard is playing with us —when he finishes the phrase he realizes what he said in front of me, but quickly pulls his phone out of his jacket.

«Playing with us... »

The medicine is taking over me again and I feel my strength leaving my body.

—At home...

Marquez looks at me.

—I have a picture of him at home, in my computer. I managed to take it that night...Jess. She's dead, he did it.

I can feel how nervous he is. He calls Fernandez and quickly brings the phone to his ear.

—Boss, we have him.

I let the slumber win the battle I'm fighting with it and I fall asleep again at the hospital bed.

10

The sirens echoes all over the street, several police cars invade the avenue. People run to his house in an attempt to evade them, just a few curious ones actually go outside to see. A lot of police officers run to a house labeled as Nº15 and break into it, seconds later they are out again with a man, his hands are cuffed and his head is pulled down by an agent, although some people recognized him. The rumor spreads quickly among the presents and the news that the man from the newspaper stand has been arrested fills every corner of the street. People can't believe how a man that doesn't seem capable to even smack a fly in his life has been arrested. For them, he is a kind and noble man and even some of them yell to the agents for him to be set free. Nobody notices it but the man has a cruel smile in his face. He knows the police don't have any material against him and sooner or later he will be back. They shove him in a police van and take him for interrogation.

The room where he's waiting only has a small table where a cup of coffee is placed for him. He's still cuffed and doesn't take the cup, he hates coffee. To his left, a big mirror reflects his twisted self. He knows a bunch of people is analyzing every movement he makes. He gives a twisted smile for his public and waves. Although is only his reflection waving back at him. Immediately, a man enters the room and leaves his coat in a hanger to his right. He sits in front of him and gives him a menacing look. Is detective Fernandez.

—Won't you drink your coffee?

He doesn't answers, just limits himself to look at the cup and then back at the detective who hasn't even blinked. Is not the same to scare a woman and then try to do the same with this man.

—Why did you arrest me? What did I do?

—you know perfectly well what you have done —Fernandez' words are like needles, his tone is aggressive and violent.

—No, I don't have the tiniest idea. You have the wrong person —he scratches his head in the only part that haves hair—. I want a lawyer.

Detective Fernandez takes a picture of Noah out of his pocket and tosses it on the table in front of the man to see. He tries to hide his desire but doesn't succeed and a hysteric laugh escapes his throat. That was enough for Fernandez; he pulls out another picture and slides it across the table. Is the photo capture Noah managed to take.

—What do you have to say about this?

The man stops his laugh and starts to feel threatened. He plays with his finger over the table.

—I don't know how you got that picture but the only thing I know is I'll present charges for harassment and misappropriation of personal material.

Fernandez is the one laughing now, his chuckles resound in the room.

—You have seen too much Law and Order, sir. —Detective Fernandez takes the pictures again and put them in his pocket—. Let's go straight to the point. You abused a young woman through the internet and we have evidence. We have a very lengthy file with your past connections, we know the exact moment, the hours, the minutes you were online, even the place. We have a picture of you taken by the young girl that was in her computer along with copies of your conversations, threatens you made to her, everything. Stop the bullshit already and tell me what I want to know. Let's end this shit already.

The man seems angry, and with his mouth closed starts biting on his tongue.

—There's a girl missing too, we know you killed her. Take us to her body and you will have your precious trip to your new home, with new friends and all. I'm sure they will love having as a neighbor a pedophile who rapes and kills girls.

The man hits the table with extreme brutality and the cup falls to the floor, breaking in pieces and splashing coffee all over the place.

—I want to see my lawyer now!!!

Fernandez stops for a moment to look him in the eye, his disgusted by this man, strings of saliva drops from the corners of his mouth and his small and nasty eyes are looking at him, almost getting out of his orbs. But he knows these kinds of people are cowards in real life, he will never confront him. He only gets pleasure harassing girls. The anger grows in Fernandez' body, he wants to kill this man with his own hands, everything would end there and the world would be a better place without him. But that goddamn law prevents him from doing it. The worst thing is that he knows this man would be put on freedom in just a few days. All the information he gathered wouldn't be of any use, they had to wait for an official report on his residence, if they actually managed to get something. It wasn't illegal to chat with minors, not in this country that allows child pornography without punishment for those who consume it. The only thing he could do for Noah now was to get a restraining order, but that wouldn't make a difference. Fernandez stands up and leaves, leaving the man behind, still screaming and asking for a lawyer. Two agents enter the room just the moment he's leaving.

11

I sit in a small chair in the library; I have a book containing clippings from the most relevant news of the last ten years. I was dismissed from the hospital two days ago. I knew thanks to Detective Marquez, that the pedophile was still retained in jail. I was surprised to know it was the man from the newspaper stand. It was matter of hours for him to be freed. They tried to calm me down telling me an agent would be with me all the time to protect me, but I knew that wouldn't last forever. I understood all this help was thanks to detective Fernandez, for some reason he took this case as a personal matter and I knew he wasn't going to desist, at least not without fighting. Behind me was the agent they assigned to guard me. His blonde hair was combed back and his clothes were perfectly ironed, everything on him was impeccable.

I keep shifting the pages of the book, only reading the headlines. I need to know more about what Conrad told me about Leo. I need to know the truth. When I'm about to drop the towel, I discover a headline that says:

"Young boy is admitted at mental health centre after attacking his parents and raping his sister"

"A twelve year old boy has been admitted to St. Patrick's mental health centre after attacking his parents and raping his sister. The boy was found in his room, covered in blood while dismembering a hamster he had as a pet. He used the same knife against his parents. This case has taking by surprise teachers and families from the neighborhood who never thought this kid would react this way. They always described him as a nice boy, always happy and respectful with others. He's being held in the centre and is a test subject for experimental investigations. We don't have any more information about this test, for now.

I can't keep reading, the rest is ripped off. I can't believe that Leo, the same Leo I know was a perturbed kid and a potential homicidal when he was a kid. For a strange reason, it doesn't really affect me. Is like everything around me was touched by a black hand that gifts whatever it touch with tragedy. I notice a vibration in my pocket, is my phone. I check it and discover a message from Leo; it almost seems like a twisted joke. He wants Ari and me to go to his place to hang out for a while. My breathing is uneven again. Till this day, I don't have motives to not trust him but Conrad was very insistent. Maybe was out of jealousy? But the story was true and I know now that Leo was a maniac kid. The more I think of it, the more nervous I become. Maybe I should try turning this offer for today. I call Ari.

—Noah?

—Ari, where are you?

—I'm at Leo's already, we're waiting for you.

«Too late»

—I'm coming; I'm at the library right now.

—Okay, be quick.

She hanged up quickly. I didn't have time to tell her to not go today. I don't want to leave my friend alone, so I close the enormous book and don't bother to place it back on the shelf. I go as fast as I can to the exit; the agent follows me from a reasonable distance. I continue walking till I reach the bus stop. Once inside, I take a sit in the front side of the bus and the agent keeps standing at the middle. He looks out of place, like a lion infiltrated in a pack of zebras. I step out of the bus once we reach the street where Leo lives. The doorman isn't there luckily, and the agent decides to stay in a bench near the entrance playing with his phone. I climb the stairs this time; I don't want to remember the horrible experience inside the elevator. I'm finally in front of Leo's place, I'm sweating a bit. The door is semi-open and I have a bad feeling, I close it and walk across the corridor to the living room. Leo and Arianna are there waiting for me.

—Hey Noah! How are you? —Leo asks me with a wide smile.

«To think I believed what Conrad said! »

—Good... I guess.

—I understand —He stands up from the sofa with an agile move— Sit, I'm going to the kitchen for drinks. Anything you want?

—I beer would be okay.

He disappears through the corridor.

I sit next to Ari.

—How are you? —She looks at me with pity. She's still affected by Mike's death.

—I'm okay, really. I'm still allowed to go out you know? —I try to be funny.

The truth is I can't stop thinking about Leo and the evidence of him being a maniac. That's something I can't change but he doesn't seem to be the same person the news described once. Maybe that treatment I couldn't keep reading about because the page was ripped did work after all. Leo was a normal boy again, apparently.

I turn my head when I hear that Leo is back with our drinks. He seems happy to be with us and I feel guilty for doubting him. He just lost his best friend and he still try to make us feel comfortable. He never dropped that kind and warm smile. He puts the drink in the table in front of us and sits in a small chair holding a beer can.

Ari and I drink almost at the same time. It is refreshing, cold and bitter at the same time. The alcohol goes up my head quickly and I rest comfortably in Leo's sofa.

«Maybe I feel like this because I haven't drink in a while? »

But I look at Arianna, and she seems affected too.

—Did you put something on the beer, Leo? —Ari asks.

He just smiles while drinking small sips of his beer.

«Oh God no. NO! You're so stupid, Conrad was right and you even read about it on the paper, how on earth you trusted him!? »

I can't move and my vision is getting dark soon. Leo stands up and leaves the room.

—Ari, can you hear me? —I can barely speak now.

—Noah, I'm scared —she manages to say.

With great difficulty, I take her hand and squeeze it in mine. I don't know what kind of drug he dropped in our drinks but the effect is immediate. A tear escapes my eye and slides across my cheek. I feel it caressing my cheek and reaching my mouth, the salty taste. A sudden scent of incense floods the living room. I can barely see anything now. I try to make one last effort before losing myself completely, but I soon regret it. Leo is in front of me and he wears black clothes. He looks at me with a twisted smile before covering his face with a black hood.

12

I'm starting to feel tired about this shit of waking up in total dizziness and without a clue of where am I. When will this nightmare end? I keep my eyes closed; something inside of me tells me not to open them and I know it's wise to follow my own advice because I'll live the nightmare once again the moment I open my eyes. I can hear what happens around me though, and I hear panting —presumably from Leo—. I'm guessing the worst. I slowly open my right eye, Leo is on top of Arianna.

«Jesus, he's raping her»

I open both eyes, the scene makes me want to vomit, but I retain the feeling as hard I can, I don't want him to focus on me. Ari fainted, or she's dead already. I don't really can tell. Her body moves along with Leo's and a small trail of blood falls from her forehead to her cheek. I'm glad that she isn't awake; at least she isn't living the horror.

«Ari, please wait for me, be strong...»

I'm not tied. That bastard didn't tie me up. Finally a streak of luck! Then I realized my pants are mid-down my legs. I'm feeling sick to my stomach and I can't breathe again.

«Noah, calm down! Maybe he hasn't started with you yet...»

I look around for something to take with me; a heavy-looking ashtray sits over the table. Is cold and heavy as I thought the smell of sweat and incense is flooding the place and filling my nostrils. I take the ashtray firmly being careful not to drop it while I walk to Leo. His naked body disgusts me. I scream at the top of my lungs and hit him as hard as I can in the face. The impact is violent; I hear bone cracking and a loud thud along with the hit. The ashtray falls from my hands breaking in hundreds of pieces.

«Don't drop it! »

The hit was certain, but not successful at all. Leo stands up slowly and holds his head with his hand, trying to block the blood that falls from the wound. Ari's body slides from the sofa and falls over the crystals on the floor.

«No! »

I don't have enough time to think; I turn over my heels and try to walk to the door, but the bell rings all of the sudden and I stop, scared. But the thought forms in my head and I remember the agent was with me. Maybe he got up to see if I was doing okay. Leo is furious; I look back and discover he's coming for me. He's bleeding a lot and looks confused, but walks faster than I would want him to do.

«If I don't make it to the door, I'm lost»

The whole scene is surrealist; Leo and I try our best to walk to our goal. He tries to catch me and I want to get to the door, but we both are slow now and move like zombies. My chances are greater than his, and I get to the door before him. I open it full of hope; Leo is still trying to get to me. I open the door slowly, and I see a smile. But something is wrong with it; an alert sensation takes over me again.

«NOAH, RUN! »

A tunnel of terror, my distorted perception and time getting slower, everything flows through my veins and freezes my blood. The oxygen in my lungs seems to be running out and everything loses it colors. I turn to see what's happening behind me, Leo's blood falls like a reproduction of a very slow movie; he seems to be scared now. I run across the corridor with all the strength I'm capable of, I dodge Leo who falls provoking my fall in the process. I try to crawl, but the blood in the floor makes me slip. Leo seems to be asleep on the floor. What is happening?

«My hands hurt»

I notice blood coming out of them; I'm over the broken crystals! Going forward, through the corridor is him, with a wide smile in his face; the monster of the newspaper stand.

I told you before; we're meant to each other —he says adjusting his glasses— you're mine, little doll; only mine.

I cry, I don't have any strength left.

«It's the end»

—I know you're made for me Noah, I knew it from the moment I saw you in those pictures— he says walking forward to me. The crystals crush under his steps —you're bleeding, you need me to cure you, give me your hand.

He extends his hand to me, his face is disgusting... I grab a crystal and notice how it breaks my skin. I try to shove it at his hand, but he dodges it with ability. I fail.

—You have seen a lot of action movies, little doll —a hysteric laugh escapes his mouth—. In real life, things are my way —he unzips his pants and takes them off, then he takes out his penis—. This is real life, Noah. We perverts win, now you know what you have to do. Don't make me mad at you, drop the crystal.

Trying to contain my cries and with a constant bleed in my hands, I stand up with difficulty till I'm over my knees. He looks at me with his small eyes that make my soul shiver. He's panting, sick bastard.

—Noah? —He says holding his penis —Drop the crystal and start.

Maybe everything is not lost. I see a clear ending to this story, and it's perfect. Maybe it's destiny. I have to kneel, and he will believe I'm going to pleasure him, but instead I'll slice my neck with the crystal. Fast and simple, I'll end the suffering. I think of Arianna one last time. I hope she's dead. I position myself on the floor, the crystals sink into my knees. He smiles satisfied, savoring his victory, but...

—He has a gun!

Gunshots.

—Quickly, call an ambulance! Take the boy and cuff him, he's dangerous.

The man falls to the ground in his knees. His head is at the same level of mine, a trail of blood falling off his mouth; he looks at me and whispers for one last time:

—Noah, I love you.

His body falls in my direction, but I dodge him before he hits me. I manage to stand up, I'm confused. I turn to see Ari, detective Marquez holds her in his arm and another agent puts a blanket over her. I notice someone holding my hand, is detective Fernandez.

—Everything's over Noah —He takes me into his arms, protecting me.

Silence.

Light.

Epilogue

Twenty years later

—Run! He's behind that wall! —I alert Marquez.

He's not the young agent I remember anymore, he moves slower but remains athletic. Twenty years ago, Detective Fernandez (now retired) and detective Marquez —now my partner— saved me from a maniac and Leo —who happened to be The Man in Black— my life was a factory of bad things happening nonstop. Before that, detective Marquez suffered the consequences of his actions. Apparently another agent testified on the record that The Man didn't have a gun at the moment of the incident. Fernandez fired several shots against the man after screaming "He has a gun!" killing him in the process. Is incredible how after saving two girls and pretty much everyone from a violent and twisted being there was still people demanding moral justice for him. He wasn't put on trial in the end, and I swore an oath to myself; I'll become a police detective and fight against minor abuse. I specialized in online abuse because I knew it was the perfect choice for the abusers in question. I've arrested just a few in comparisons of the hundreds that have been freed in the last two years. Justice seems to protect them instead of the victims. Their greatest sin is to post pictures online.

Leo ended in the psycho ward, even when my family and detective Fernandez asked for imprisonment. But the fact that he stopped taking his medication just after Mike's death was crucial to determinate he didn't have a chance against himself, dementia took over him. Many years later, I went to visit him, he seemed the same Leo I met before he went mad in his place. He told me about The Man in Black and that it was an invention of Mike and that he wants the one who attacked Sophie. When he realized I was attacked too he forced Mike to stop. He confessed he fell in love with me and that he didn't intended to hurt me. He asked for forgiveness between tears, but I didn't feel sorry about him. I left him crying in his cell like a little boy.

My parents got separated. My mother never explained anything to me, but I'm sure it had something to do with a crate I found in my father's studio. He left it there, forgotten. When I opened it, I found pictures from that incident and felt completely disgusted. I destroyed the photographs and understood why my mother never mentioned his name again. I was right to not trust him before. I like to think guilt invaded him after that. I never saw him again.

Arianna became a pediatrician and is currently working at a clinic. She's good with her work. We haven't lost contact since. I believe we both chose a path to help kids. We owe that to ourselves.

I look at my victim. We have been after a pedophile who blackmailed a girl through a social network. He abused her just as they did with me years ago. I'm standing in a patio, it looks abandoned. The man walks to me; it doesn't seem scared to have me there. I think is because I'm a woman.

—He has a gun!

I shoot several times, the impacts are precise and I don't miss. The echo of the detonations resounds all over the patio. His body falls like a bag of rocks and provokes a small wave of dust around him from the impact. Everything has ended for him. I sigh in relief. Detective Marquez gets to my side, panting. Everything is over, once again.

My name is Noah, and I was a victim from online abuse too.
