 
Sanctity

_sanc-ti-ty:_ holiness of life and character

By S. M. Bowles

Sanctity

Copyright: S. M. Bowles

Published: March 2013

Publisher: S. M. Bowles

The right of S. M. Bowles to be identified as author of this Work has been asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, copied in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise transmitted without written permission from the publisher. You must not circulate this book in any format.

This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

If you have any questions or comments for the author please use the following email address: smbowles.sanctity@gmail.com

For my daughter, my husband, my good friend Daisy (though she can't read) and everyone else that has a special place in my heart.

## _Table of Contents  
_

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Epilogue

## Chapter 1

The world drifted in and out of focus and pulses of pain flashed behind my eyes. I kept still hoping it would help but my head wasn't the only thing that hurt. My whole body ached and it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I knew something horrible had happened but no matter how hard I tried it was impossible to remember what.

When I tentatively opened my eyes, my head lolled backwards. Suddenly, I was looking up into the night sky. The stars and moon shone brightly through the branches of the leafless trees. At first they seemed to be moving but then I realized it wasn't them but me. Someone was carrying me. He held me clutched against his chest and he was running so fast; so very fast! It didn't make any sense. I had no idea where I was or why I was there.

"Put your arms around my neck!" His voice interrupted my thoughts. It sounded deep and determined and when I heard it, his words echoed in my mind. It seemed like he had spoken twice – once out loud and again deep inside my thoughts. I did my best to obey his command but the effort was monumental and so painful I nearly fainted. As I struggled to raise my arms and clasp my hands, we passed a fallen tree and he adjusted his grip. He shifted me onto his back and in virtually the same moment, snapped off one of the decaying limbs before spinning to a stop.

Now that we were facing the opposite direction, I glimpsed what we were running from crashing through the forest and heading straight for us. I buried my face and braced myself for the impact.

It never came, though, and when I realized it wouldn't, I peered over his shoulder. I saw a man lying in the snow a few feet from where we stood. The branch was sticking out of his chest and his fingers scraped against the rough bark as he tried pulling it out. It was horrible to watch his feeble attempts and I wanted to scream but I didn't have the strength. My fingers trembled then my arms gave out. I lost my grip and fell to the ground.

"Elayna!" The man dropped to his knees and bent his face close to mine "Elayna!" he urgently called my name.

I thought I recognized him but while my mind reeled trying to make the connection a darkness, an emptiness crept up behind my eyes. It overwhelmed my senses and seemed to swallow everything up. I lost awareness of the world around me and drifted into a void of nothingness.

Seconds later something cold and ice-like touched my lips. The chill seemed to flicker into a flame and spread heat across my face. It sent a shiver through my scalp, to my neck and down my spine. The heat kept spreading like ripples on a pond and I sensed it flowing throughout my chest and expanding to my arms and legs. My heart and lungs gave a sluggish stutter as the man scooped me back into his arms and started running again. After a handful of strides, I begged him to stop.

"Please," I muttered and clutched at the lapel of his coat.

He seemed to understand and when he put me down, I doubled over. He squatted beside me and gathered my hair away from my face. A moment later I retched into the snow. Even through the darkness I saw that most of what had come up was blood; my blood, blood from all the aches inside me.

"Oh, God!" he cried out when he saw it.

It filled me with fear and I tried looking at him but he tightened his grip and implored me not to.

"Please don't," he whispered. "I don't want you to see me like this."

I wondered what he meant but the retching had made my pain exponential and before I could speak I slipped from his grip and slumped down into the snow. He cradled my head and the icy flame rippled through me again as he pressed his wrist to my lips.

"Enough. Not too much," he sobbed to himself and pulled his arm away. He kissed my forehead and with trembling fingers carefully lifted me up. He began walking again and with every step my aches slowly faded. They were still piercing at times but they didn't seem quite so unbearable until we stopped again. When he put me down, there was no warning and whatever remained in my belly went spattering onto the snow. The pain returned with an agonizing ferocity. It seemed impossible to draw a breath my body hurt so badly. The darkness gnawed away at me again and I knew it would spare me if I would only let go and let it sweep me away.

He held his wrist to my lips letting a few drops of his blood trickle between them. Then he waited. "Damn it!" he cursed out loud when he realized I wasn't coming to and let another few drops fall. "One, two," he counted. A minute passed but I remained still and lifeless in the snow. He held the wound over my mouth a third time. After the last few drops trickled between my lips, he gathered me into his arms and rocked back and forth sobbing into my hair. "No, no, no..."

"Oh!" I gasped. For a second it felt like I had lightning in my veins. The sensation quickly passed and I moaned at the sudden release.

The man took my face in his hands and tilted it from side to side. His expression was full of worry as he studied me. He seemed to be looking for something but I wasn't sure what. After a moment, his grey eyes brightened and the corners of his mouth turned up in complete and happy relief. He laid his ear against my chest and listened then took my wrist and checked my pulse. "Elayna?" he asked. "Does it hurt?"

I couldn't answer. I was absolutely transfixed as he peered down at me. A shred of memory tugged at my mind but I lost it when he glanced over his shoulder and looked over our surroundings.

"Elayna," he asked again with more urgency, "does it hurt?"

He turned back and I shook my head in confusion as his question replayed in the back of my mind. "No, I'm fine...I think. I'm cold...just cold."

Without hesitation, he slipped his coat off and tucked it around my shoulders, "Hold it tight, here at your chest," he swaddled me in the heavy cloth. "Better?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"We need to go," he held his hand out and helped me find my footing. "Can you walk?"

I nodded. With his hand tucked in mine he silently led me away. I mindlessly followed all the while wondering who he was and where we were going. Images flashed in my mind but they seemed shadowy and impossible to make out.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. Somewhere safe."

"I want to go home. I want my mom and dad."

"It's better for you to be with me right now."

"Why?" my voice cracked and my eyes pooled with tears.

He glanced down and for a moment he looked just as sad and conquered as me. "I will tell you when the time is right. But for now, I need you to trust me." He stopped and reached out to caress my cheek.

That was the last thing I remembered until hours later when I woke. It took a minute for me to realize we were in a car. It was semi-dark, maybe close to dawn. I sat hunched over in the passenger's seat afraid to move but so cramped I had to. I glanced up and cautiously looked him over before slowly pulling myself upright hoping he wouldn't notice I was awake. He turned and smiled. It relieved me somehow, so I smiled back. I tried stretching some sensation into my limbs but the folds of his coat had entangled me. I wriggled from side to side to free myself.

"Here," he reached over to help and his fingertips grazed mine.

"Michael?" I asked.

"Yes, Elayna?" he sounded surprised when he answered me.

"How did I know that?"

He grinned and shook his head, "How did you know what?"

"Your name." I said. "It...it just popped in my head."

He stared straight ahead, "Did it?"

"How do you know my name?" I asked suspiciously.

He glanced over but didn't reply. I thought about asking again but his expression made me nervous. It seemed to be a cross between anger and worry and disappointment. I turned away and quietly considered my situation. While I did, he slowed the car and pulled over. Once we stopped, he reached for the dome light and flipped the switch, bathing me in the light. I squinted at the sudden brightness as he took my face in both his hands and studied it again. He tilted my head forward and back and side to side. Then he looked straight into my eyes.

My breath caught in my chest; he was so familiar! I was certain I knew him somehow and wished I could remember him.

"How are you feeling, Elayna?"

"I'm..." I felt perfectly fine so his question didn't make any sense, "confused."

"Do you remember anything...anything at all about tonight?"

"No. I want to and I've tried to but...but something won't let me."

Frowning he looked away and curled his fist to his lips in contemplation.

"I'm really hungry," I mumbled hoping it wouldn't upset him further.

"We'll stop soon and I'll get you something to eat. I still need to get you somewhere safe, though, so I want you to promise me that you'll do everything I ask. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Michael, I do."

## Chapter 2

Sixteen hours later Michael turned into a small subdivision. About half a dozen houses lined the street we were on. He stopped in front of a brick-faced home then turned to me with a smile and said, "Here we are."

I looked around as he helped me out of the car. He sensed my curiosity and gave me a moment to admire the well-groomed lawns and dainty flower beds that dotted the curbs. After a moment, he took my hand and led me along the walkway to the front door of the house where we parked. As he reached out to ring the bell, I hid behind him and shuffled nervously from foot to foot. I wondered why he had brought me there and who I was about to meet.

The door swung open and a woman cried out in surprise, "Michael! Oh, Michael, how good to see you!" She stepped onto the porch and wrapped him in a loving embrace. When she tucked her chin over his shoulder she saw me and smiled brightly. "Oh," she said and took a step back.

Everything about her reminded me of Michael and I guessed she must be his mother. Her eyes weren't quite the same color but they were the same shape and set as Michael's and her hair was almost as dark, too, though slowly turning grey.

"And who is this?" She asked ducking behind him to get a better look. Her voice sounded cheerful; curious and warm.

"This is Elayna. Elayna, this is my mother, Margaret."

She glanced at Michael expressively. She looked confused and distraught. It seemed like she recognized my name and it surprised her somehow. I wasn't sure what to do while she struggled to make sense of whatever she was thinking. Her smile suddenly returned and Margaret held her hand out, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Elayna."

With a touch of apprehension, I reached around Michael and stumbled out the words, "It's nice to meet you, Margaret."

"Well," she said, "let's not stand out here in the cold." She pushed the door wider and motioned us inside.

She still looked upset and I didn't want to follow her imagining I was the reason why. It seemed like she was uncomfortable having me there. I wanted to tell Michael we should leave. I glanced up hoping to get his attention but before I could utter the suggestion Margaret led us into her bright and homey kitchen. It was warm and inviting and smelled of freshly baked bread. My stomach rumbled reminding me how hungry I was and everything else was forgotten.

The bread lay on a cutting board near the center of the kitchen island. Beside it sat a bowl teeming with bright red apples. Margaret saw the longing in my eyes as she offered us seats at the kitchen table. "Are you hungry?" she asked.

I nodded slightly.

She waited expectantly. I think she wanted me to tell her what I liked. I wasn't sure how to respond and looked imploringly at Michael for help.

"Whatever you have on hand and whatever's easiest," he said as he shrugged out of his coat. "In the meantime," he walked up to the island and grabbed an apple. He gave it a quick polish then handed it to me as we settled into the stools around the kitchen table.

After a few minutes of rummaging in the refrigerator and shuffling around the island Margaret laid a plate on the mat in front of me. In the center was a slice of the bread, still warm and spread with so much butter it melted into little pools. On either side of the bread Margaret arranged an alternating array of cured meats and various cheeses along with slices of carrots and bell peppers. It seemed artfully done and my face lit up when I saw it. I thanked her and eagerly picked away at each of the different foods.

Margaret poured me a glass of milk and handed it to me before she finally sat down. While I ate Michael and Margaret talked quietly. Their conversation was very reserved; mostly small talk, about the weather, how Margaret had been feeling, if there was anything she'd like Michael to do while he was in town.

"I have a few of my own things I'd like to take care of but I can stay if there's anything you need help with."

"No, Michael, I can't think of a single thing, but thank you for asking." She took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze then turned to me. "My you were hungry," she chuckled. "Would you like anything else?"

I had forgotten my manners while they spoke and devoured every last scrap that had been on the plate. I smiled shamefully, "Oh, no. Thank you, Margaret. Everything was really good."

There was a brief pause before either of them spoke again. I sensed they had more to talk about but were reluctant to continue their conversation in front of me.

"Mother," Michael toyed with the corner of his mat, "we've been driving for a while and Elayna would like to freshen up."

"Oh..." she glanced at me. I hadn't even considered it but suddenly I realized how disheveled I must have looked and how nice a shower would be. "Well, um, she can use the bathroom upstairs." Margaret turned toward me, "Would you like me to show you the way?" she asked.

"I'll take her," Michael interjected and hurried from his chair. Margaret started to object but he spoke over her, "You wouldn't happen to have a change of clothes she could use?"

Margaret sighed in dismay, "I'm sure I can put something together but Michael, why..."

Michael held his hand up, "Please, let me get Elayna settled then I'll come right back down."

Margaret shrugged and watched as Michael led me down the hallway. We took the stairs to the second floor and when we reached the landing, Michael turned right. He brought me to a warm and spacious room at the end of the hallway and handed me through the doorway.

He stood behind me while I took it in. The walls were a soft sage and the drapes sheer and white so the natural light from outside shined in bathing the room in a soft glow. One wall held a row of doors that led to closets. The wall we faced had two bay windows, side by side with matching seats built into them. Centered against the third wall was a bed with matching nightstands on either side. It looked soft and plush and the linens complimented it in varying shades of the sage that colored the walls.

"What do you think?"

"It's beautiful," I assured him.

"Good. I'll have Margaret bring you some clean clothes and you can change in here. The bathroom is right outside the door."

I followed as he turned into the hallway. He stepped through a doorway to his left and flipped the lights on. Instead of the greenish tint of sage the bathroom hinted at blue. Michael showed me where to find everything I would need then made his way to the door.

"Elayna," he stopped when he got to the threshold, "please take your time."

I guessed he wanted me to linger as long as possible so he could talk to Margaret alone and nodded my understanding. After he closed the door, I listened to his footfalls fade down the hallway. Once I was sure he had gone downstairs, I undressed, folded my clothes and put them on the floor near the doorway.

It took a few minutes to figure out how to work the shower. There were jets on every side of the enclosure and knobs for each. Coupled with those were controls to adjust the flow of water to make it seem anywhere from a downpour to a misty rain. One large disc of a showerhead hung over the center. After I found its control, I turned the other jets off and set the flow to a moderate stream.

It was strange, being in someone else's house and using their things. I hurriedly washed myself eager to get it over with but realized I might not have given Michael enough time. While I considered my options, I absently began experimenting with the other jets. The pressure of the water coursing over my back, shoulders and neck relaxed me. I sighed and decided to enjoy it for a few minutes. I plopped down and rested my head between my knees.

My thoughts drifted away and I must have fallen asleep because I forgot where I was and what I was doing. Though I was sitting in the shower it seemed like I was standing in the kitchen, watching Michael and Margaret and overhearing the conversation they were having.

"Michael," Margaret's voice pleaded. She waited for him to say something. He held her gaze for a long moment but couldn't bear the way she was looking at him and turned away. "I thought Elayna was a young woman," she continued.

His jaw clenched, "I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you... everything."

"What's happened, Michael? Why are you here and why is she with you?"

Michael turned back when he heard the accusation in her tone, "Mother! Please don't imagine the worst! It's not... it has never been like that." Michael insisted.

"But you have done something to her, haven't you?" Margaret moved closer and placed her hand over his, "Oh, I know she is not like you. I can see that she is still... still a girl. But she is very much changed, isn't she and it's because of you, isn't it?"

"I didn't know what else to do. There was no other way!" he insisted, speaking more to himself than to Margaret. "I couldn't let her go. She means too much to me."

"Let her go?" Margaret frowned. "What are you saying, Michael?"

He took a deep breath, "Victor..."

"Victor?" Margaret gasped. "Oh, Michael, no, no. Not Victor! What did he do?"

"He killed them."

"Who, Michael? Oh, dear God! Not her family?" Michael nodded slightly. "But why?" Margaret asked full of confusion.

"Why else but to hurt me? He has never forgiven me. He blames me for everything that happened and always will."

"I don't understand... After all these years? But I thought... you said changing you was his revenge. Why did he come back? Why wasn't it enough?"

"Because I've been happy... I can't think of any other reason. Somehow he learned I found a way to salvage some goodness out of this nightmare he's made of my existence."

Michael sat deep in thought a moment before he went on, "He must have been following me. There's no other way Victor could have known out about them. We were close and they invited me to dinner at least once a week. His wife wouldn't let us to talk business while we were eating but most nights after Elayna went to bed, we ended up working. One evening Mr. Davis told me he had a few new reports he wanted me to show me so we went to the study after dinner while Mrs. Davis stayed and finished tidying up."

"A few minutes later we heard her scream and ran to the kitchen. She looked horrified and pointed out the window. "There's someone out there," she said. "Someone was watching me!"

"Mr. Davis and I both assured her there was no one there and while he comforted her, I offered to take a look. There were fresh footprints in the snow. I had a terrible feeling about them. When I bent down to examine them, someone seized me from behind. Whoever he was, he dragged me inside and there was Victor! He had Elayna's mother and father bound and kneeling on the floor of their living room."

"She wasn't with them, somehow he had overlooked Elayna. Victor forced me to face them and demanded I tell him who they were. I tried convincing him they were nothing, nobody, people I worked with who meant very little to me. He didn't believe me and grew more and more frustrated with my replies. He asked the Davises the same questions but they wouldn't answer him either. I never told them; never shared the truth with them. Even if I had they seemed to understand Victor and what he would do to them if they told him what he wanted to hear."

"I begged him to let them go, swore that whatever he was after, whatever he wanted, they had no part in it. "They have every part! I know what you're doing, Michael! I've seen how you live. They are the key! They must be!" Victor insisted. The commotion woke Elayna. She crept into the living room and when she saw us, she called out to me. Victor... oh, God!" Michael hid his face in his hands. "Victor looked at me and he looked her and smiled. He seemed to understand everything in that instant."

Margaret slumped down into the seat beside Michael.

The things Michael told Margaret, they sounded so familiar! My mind was full of the images, with everything Michael said. I seemed to recall it all; the look of unimaginable helplessness on Michael's face as I rushed towards him. Victor stepping in front of me, my scream when he grabbed me. I remembered the pain I felt when he kicked my legs out from under me and threw me down beside my parents. Victor bound my hands and feet and when he finished, he yanked me to my knees with a handful of my hair.

Michael watched powerlessly from where his captor held him. Victor eyed me up and down and walked a slow circle around me. After a thorough inspection, he glanced towards Michael, "My, what a pretty, little pet you have," he said. "This is the one, isn't it? This is the reason you do it!" Victor grinned triumphantly before turning back to me, "Do you know what he is?"

I nodded.

"And you understand what he needs to do to stay alive?"

Again, I nodded.

"Yet you're not afraid of him, are you?"

I shook my head.

"Are you afraid of me?" Victor caressed my cheek with the tip of his finger.

My lips trembled and I nodded again.

"Why?!" Victor challenged. "Why me and not him?"

I shook at the anger in his voice and wasn't sure what to say; the answer seemed completely obvious. I opened my mouth to speak.

"Don't..." I sensed Michael's voice in my mind and he shook his head slightly.

"Did you just..." Victor's eyes went wide. "Is he speaking to you?" he demanded. "Can you hear him; hear his thoughts?" he snatched my chin forcing me to meet his gaze.

It felt impossible to deny, "Yes," I whispered.

"Interesting! Can you hear mine?"

"No," I mumbled.

"Hmm," Victor paused a moment and considered what I said. "Have you two ever..." he grinned wickedly, "exchanged?"

The question angered Michael and he briefly fought against his captor's hold. I thought I understood what Victor was asking, "No," I assured him.

"My, my, but you are quite a little enigma, now aren't you?" he tilted his head and looked me over again. Then Victor shrugged and turned to my mother. "Are you aware that your friend Michael, here, has been slipping into your daughter's room for the past, oh, what, half a dozen years or so?"

My mother went ashen and the tears she fought back streamed down her cheeks. I was old enough to understand what Victor was implying and the suggestion appalled me. I looked at my mother, "No, it's not true, don't listen to him! Michael! Michael, tell them it's not true! You are my friend. I have been helping you... helping you..."

There was something I wanted to say but I couldn't find the words to explain it. It was terribly important that my parents didn't think badly of Michael. They had the same horror-struck expression, though, as they looked from Victor to Michael and the man that held him. Michael bowed his head in bitter acknowledgement of Victor words but didn't deny them. "You're a monster!" I spat at him.

Victor laughed, "You're absolutely right! And so is my brother," my parents' eyes followed Victor as he moved from us and stood beside Michael. "And Abram here," he motioned to Michael's captor. "We're all monsters, aren't we? She's got quite a bit of spunk hasn't she brother? Is that why you love her so? Tell me, how did she do it?" Victor turned his attention back to me and roughly took my chin again. He knelt down in front of me, his eyes boring into mine. "How did she manage to convince you to live the way you do? What is it about her that ties you to your," I sensed Victor sifting through my thoughts, "sanctity?" He chuckled, "Do you even know what that means?" He stood up and his expression seemed to challenge Michael, "I wonder what it would do to you if I took this lovely, little lady from you."

"Please, no!" My mother inched towards me. "She's just a little girl, don't hurt her! We'll give you anything you want," my mother looked at my father for confirmation.

"Yes, anything," my father's voice trembled.

Victor scoffed at their dismay and taunted Michael. "Maybe I will keep her for myself once I deal with mum and dad here... oh, and of course, with you, dear brother."

"Why," Michael asked, "why not just me? Let the family go," he begged.

"Oh, but you see that's what this is all about, Michael, family. You are my family and yet here we are now, worlds apart just as we've always been. It wasn't enough they loved you for being so much more; for being everything I was not. You couldn't be satisfied with being their favorite, could you? You turned against me, Michael, you turned Mother and Father against me. You took my family," he glanced over his shoulder, "and now I'm going to take yours." He stepped back and unleashed a horrific blow, striking Michael as hard as he could across his jaw.

Victor's expression was full of satisfaction as he continued goading Michael, "Do you know how many times I wished you had never been born? Mother and Father, they kept telling me how wonderful it would be to have a little brother. That I would always have someone to play with, someone who would look up to me, someone who would be just like me. Only you weren't like me, were you, Michael? You were never like me!"

"You never struggled the way I did! You never failed! Do you have any idea how degrading it was to have you for a younger brother? What a constant torment it was? I had to fight for everything while it all came so naturally for you. If you only knew how many times I thought about it, before I even knew what it was! I wanted to kill you, Michael! I hated you for coming between us and making Mother and Father realize just how unremarkable I was. They never loved me the way they loved you! I needed them more but they looked right through me."

"You're wrong, Victor. They loved you just as much. You refused to let them show it."

"Bull shit!" Victor seized Michael by the throat, "When did you ever receive anything but praise from them? Ever once did you hear the words I wish you would be more like your brother?"

Michael looked shamefully away.

"Well, I heard them! Every damn day of my life! Why can't you be more like Michael?" Victor mimicked Margaret's voice perfectly. "If it weren't for you!" Victor took a deep breath and his tone hinted at regret, "I never would have... Why didn't you let her go? A chance... one chance that was all I asked for. None of this would have happened if you weren't so damn selfish!"

Michael shook his head, "It wouldn't have changed anything, Victor. If I hadn't refused you, she would have."

"You could have helped me! You could have convinced her! She would have listened to you!" Victor screamed.

"You know that's not true," Michael whispered.

"She would have done anything for you," Victor persisted. He clenched his hands into fists, "One word and everything would have turned out so differently! Look what you've forced me to become!"

"This isn't how it has to be," Michael's voice implored.

"Ah, but this is how I want it to be! The sorrows I had then are the pleasures I enjoy now," Victor's eyes brightened with a sadistic glow, "I have been given this great gift and it has shown me that I have nothing to regret." He grew more and more anxious as he turned his thoughts over. He paced back and forth in the slight row between Abram and Michael and where my family and I were kneeling. "Funny, I thought changing you would be my revenge. What better retribution could I have wished for than to turn Saint Michael, here, into a sinner?" Victor abruptly stopped in front of me. With his back towards Michael he glared down at me and asked, "How many people have you killed, Michael?"

My heart sank. I knew that wasn't the way Michael lived, not since we met. "Michael is not a killer!" I insisted. My eyes flooded with tears and I thought of Brenda.

"Oh? Michael, why don't you tell your little friend here how many lives have slipped past your lips. Better yet," he said, "tell her how many times you wished it was her life flowing through your veins!" Victor's words hung ominously in the air.

I peered around Victor so I could see Michael's face. He looked devastated and the truth of what Victor said filled my mind; weakened as he was Michael couldn't hide it from me. I never imagined he struggled with me the same way he would with anyone else.

My mother sobbed, my father looked from one of us to the next in shocking disbelief.

"I won't be cheated! How dare you convince him to turn against his nature! The righteous Michael will not prevail because of you!" Victor turned in fury to face my mother, father and I. "Let's see now, Eanie...Meanie... oh, hell, Mo!!" Victor put a knee in my father's back and forced his head to a brutal angle.

Michael realized what he planned to do but before he could struggle free and stop him Victor opened my father's throat. I watched in horror as my father fell to the ground. I saw the terror on my mother's face and the frenzied anger taking over Michael. He broke away from Abram and savagely drew his life from him. Even through the delirious haze of losing my father I saw the transformation in Michael. A murderous expression swept across his face and he stepped towards Victor.

Michael knocked him aside and flew to my mother. He freed her as best he could in the short time before Victor recovered. He told her to hurry, to get me and run. It only took a moment before Victor was on him and I knew Michael wouldn't be able to stop him; that he was trying to buy us more time. Victor, he was just so strong! As my mother and I ran in one direction, Michael ran in the other hoping to draw Victor away from us.

Victor sensed what Michael was up to and dropped the chase almost before it began. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Michael trying to cut him off but he was too late. Victor caught us. He seized my mother in one arm and me in the other.

"Ah, now this is a bit of a pickle," Victor called across the short distance between us and Michael. "You'd like to save them both, wouldn't you? Oh, but mum here doesn't really concern you, does she? You don't care about her except that she matters to this one," he shook me by my arm. "So how do we go about this, hmm?" he teased.

He took one long look at Michael, tossed his head back and laughed. It happened so fast; Victor bent over my mother as Michael lunged forward but he didn't reach either of us in time. The pain that coursed through my body reminded me of a glass falling to the floor. My insides felt like they had shattered into a million tiny pieces as I struck a nearby tree with all the force of Victor's wrath.

Michael tackled Victor and they tumbled into the snow as I fell to the ground. The realization of what Victor had done subdued Michael and he dragged himself to where I lay. Victor stood savoring the moment, "It's too late," he assured Michael. I was still alive, though. My breath bubbled up and out of my mouth as Michael gathered me into his arms and ran into the woods. Victor followed just seconds behind us calling, "There's no halfway, Michael! You can't save her!"

I remember Michael cradling me as he ran and something else, something my mind refused to accept, something it didn't want me to remember.

My head throbbed as I sat in the shower mesmerized by the images. I couldn't shake myself free of them. Then my thoughts shifted back to the kitchen and I saw Michael as he slunk to the floor. His arms clutched at Margaret's knees, "Oh, Mother, what have I done!! I never wanted this. I never wanted any of this! Oh, God! Mr. and Mrs. Davis, how could I have let Victor do this?" He wailed utterly distraught.

"Michael, oh, Michael!" Margaret held him and stroked his hair. "I'm so sorry. Please don't blame yourself, you mustn't."

"Why mustn't I," he lifted his head, a ferocious expression coloring his face; "I am a killer!! In order for me to live, others must die!!"

"No, no, Michael, you don't believe that! You know it's not true!! Victor killed that family, not you. You saved the girl."

Margaret's words echoed in my thoughts and shook me free from my daze. I opened my eyes only to find myself still clutching my knees with the water crashing all around me.

My mind refused to accept the possibility of everything I envisioned but my heart was heavy with the truth of it. I wanted to confront Michael and Margaret. I needed to ask them if what I saw was real or just some wild imaginings from an overtaxed mind. I extinguished the jets and stepped out of the shower. I draped myself in one of the larger bath towels and wrapped my hair in one of the smaller ones.

After stooping at the doorway, I gathered the clothes I had piled there and made my way to the bedroom. I tucked them onto one of the window seats and put on the outfit Margaret had laid out for me. The pants and top were a handful of sizes too big so I rolled and cuffed them into the right proportions. She was thoughtful enough to include a belt. I cinched it as much as it would allow and fastened it around my waist.

I took the towel from my hair and while I wondered what to do with it I heard a gentle rap at the door. Tears gathered behind my eyes as I moved to answer it. Margaret was standing there with the warmest, sincerest smile but I sensed a terrible sadness in her eyes.

"How was your shower?" she sounded cheerful but it would have been impossible to mistake her anxiety. "Did you find everything you needed? Is there anything else I can get for you?"

I shook my head and she turned away, "Margaret?" I called her back.

"Yes, Elayna?"

"Did Michael..." I paused unsure how to put my thoughts into words, "Did Michael tell you why he brought me here? Is it true?"

"Is what true?" she looked confused and caught off guard.

"I'm sorry, Margaret but I...I fell asleep in the shower and somehow...I'm not sure if it was a dream, or if it was real." I did my best to blink away my tears but they streamed down my cheeks.

She took a step forward intending to comfort me but it only confirmed everything I suspected and I fretfully pulled away.

I turned and slumped down onto the bed burying my face in my hands. I didn't hear Michael through my sobs but he brushed by Margaret and came into the room. He wrapped his arms around me and as soon as I realized he was there, I threw myself around his neck and gave complete abandon to my heartache. He picked me up and held me close then motioned to Margaret to leave us so I could spend my grief. His tears mingled with mine and it seemed like he was sharing my sorrow with me and trying to take away some of my anguish.

"Elayna, I am so, so sorry I couldn't save them," he must have been blocking my memories somehow and when he spoke they all flooded back to me. I remembered everything, everything from the moment I met him.

"I loved them, too," he whispered "I couldn't tell you what happened but I knew if I let you, you would see." His voice cracked with regret bringing on a new wave of emotions from me.

## Chapter 3

My lips trembled, "Oh," I gasped. "No!" I screamed. "No, no, no!" in a voice I didn't know I was capable of. "It's your fault! You killed them! You killed them! I hate you!" I sobbed and fought against him. "I hate you!" I hit him over and over until my voice finally faltered, "I hate..." and I fell limp against his shoulder knowing there was no truth behind my words.

"You should hate me," he whispered. "Please hate me," Michael begged.

"I can't," I whimpered.

"It's too late, isn't it? I have done something unforgiveable to you," he said.

I thought he was talking about my parents but sensed he meant something more, something I was too overwhelmed to understand. The minutes ticked by and our emotions slowly wore themselves out. Neither was willing to break the peace once it descended on us so we clung to one another while the room grew dark.

He was right, it was too late. I considered everything that happened and despite it all, and all the blame I wanted to place on Michael, "I love you," I whispered against his shoulder.

"Oh," he moaned and stroked my hair, "I love you, too," the words reluctantly escaped his lips.

It brought me back to the day we met and how Michael and I became so important to each other.

I was seven years old and about to start second grade. It was raining and didn't look likely to stop so my mother took me school shopping. We moved from store to store all morning and I either stood beside her or followed her between the racks or tried on clothes. It was exhausting and more than anything I wanted to go home. Being in the crowded mall made me uncomfortable. There were so many strange people around. My gaze kept nervously wandering from one person to the next.

At one point, we were in a store that lay adjacent to the arboretum. From the doorway, I saw a stonewalled fountain with several sturdy, metal benches surrounding it. While my mother flipped through the clothing, I watched the water sprouting up and crashing down.

I didn't notice him at first but Michael was sitting on the edge of the fountain. As we moved away from the entrance, he looked right at me. For an eerie moment, it seemed like he called my name. It scared me and I quickly turned away pretending it didn't happen. I hid behind my mother until we moved towards another rack and it obstructed me from view.

After a few minutes, I considered peeking to see if he was still there but was afraid I'd get caught. While I struggled not to look I thought I heard his voice again. It rippled across my mind and sounded insistent, almost needy. An odd sensation accompanied it, too. It seemed like a strange tendril or invisible thread had reached out and touched me. I wanted to follow it even though I knew it would lead me to him.

My mom made her way toward another rack of clothing. I stepped into the aisle intending to follow her but walked towards the doorway instead. Michael smiled warmly as I approached him. I stopped a few feet from where he sat and stood there mesmerized. I thought he must be someone magical, like a prince or an angel or some other storybook hero and smiled back.

He tilted his head and looked me over "Elayna?" he asked.

His voice was so unusual, "Yes," I answered.

"You heard me?" Michael looked confused and perhaps a little disappointed.

It made me realize what was wrong and why he sounded strange. He hadn't spoken. His voice was in my thoughts. I nodded apprehensively and wondered whether I imagined it.

"Huh," he mumbled.

He glanced over my shoulder. My mother was hurrying towards us with a fearful and anxious expression. "Oh, no," I thought. Seeing her reminded me that I shouldn't have left the store. I couldn't decide what to do as she approached.

"Elayna!" she took my hand. "Honey, you scared me! You're supposed to stay beside me when we're out like this!"

She didn't yell but her voice was stern and shook with suppressed emotion. I felt terrible and wanted to explain that I was making a new friend but only stammered out a word or two. Michael stood up. He looked thoughtful and apologized to my mother for me.

"She must have wanted to see the fountain up close," he offered and gave me a private grin. "I'm sure she didn't mean to upset you." I nodded my agreement. "I'm glad you found her," he went on. "It made me worry when I didn't see anyone nearby likely be her parent. I was about to call security but thankfully that won't be necessary."

Her anger instantly faded and she looked embarrassed, "Oh, no. Not at all," she said relieved. A few seconds passed. There didn't seem to be anything more to say, "Well, thank you for... distracting her."

Before walking back into the store, I glanced over my shoulder and Michael's strange inner voice rang in my head again, "Goodbye, Elayna."

It made me wonder if he could hear me, too. I concentrated, "Goodbye," I thought at him as hard as I could. He grinned and nodded, answering my curiosity then disappeared from view.

About an hour later my mother finally said we'd done enough shopping. We made our way to the car and piled our bags into the trunk. The condominium where we lived was only a few miles from the mall and the drive home was a short one. It was still raining when we got there so after she parked my mother asked me to wait. She collected our things then motioned me to hop out and we hurried inside.

Our apartment was on the second floor and though there weren't many rooms, it was fairly spacious. As you walked in the front door, the hallway opened into the kitchen on one side and the dining room on the other. The dining room spilled into the living area and another hallway turned left and led to the two bedrooms.

My bedroom was the first on the right. The walls were a soft, lavender color and unlike the wood floors covering the rest of the apartment, my room had a thick, white carpet. There weren't any windows but there was a sliding glass door opposite the entryway which led onto a small balcony.

Across from my bedroom was the main bathroom. My parent's bedroom was to the right at the end of the hallway. Their room was about twice the size as mine and had its own bathroom and separate vanity area. A small walk-in closet stood in one corner and the other held an office space for when my dad worked at home.

Once we were inside my mom offered to fix me a snack. I asked if I could watch TV while I ate. She narrowed her eyes, "If you promise to put your dishes in the kitchen when you're done." I happily agreed and helped her arrange my things on the coffee table. "Just one show," she said and ruffled my hair before moving away. She paused after a step or two and added with a touch of sympathy, "I'm sorry it's still raining, honey. Hopefully it will be better tomorrow and we can play outside."

My mother was busy doing laundry when my show ended so I went to my room and used a step stool to get my building blocks from the closet. After spreading them on my play table I absently began snapping them together. I tried building a house but quickly grew distracted thinking about Michael. I pictured him sitting across from me while I made up the different conversations we might have. My father came home around dinner time and I had gotten so caught up in my imaginings I didn't see him standing in my doorway. I jumped when I noticed him smiling and watching me. "Daddy! You surprised me!"

He chuckled, "I'm sorry. Whatcha working on?"

I held up my project up as he stepped into my room, "Can you help?"

"Oh, no. I would but it's just about time to eat," he apologized. "Why don't I help you clean-up instead?"

We put the blocks back in their box then my dad tucked it away. Afterwards he told me to wash up. I scooted across the hall to my bathroom as he turned and went to his. My mom was laying the dinner things out when we got to the dining room. We took our seats and while we ate, my dad asked about our day.

"Mommy said you went shopping."

"Yep," I nodded.

"Did you get everything you needed?"

"I think so," I glanced at my mom and she gave my dad a brief account of where we shopped and what we bought.

"Well, I'm glad you went today. It wouldn't have been good for much else," he sighed, "and it sounds like you got a lot done."

Surprisingly my mom never mentioned Michael. I considered bringing him up but didn't want my dad to find out what I had done. He would have been so disappointed to learn I had walked away from my mother in a crowded mall and it would have made me feel awful knowing I let him down.

After dinner, my dad cleared the dishes away while my mom helped get my shower ready. By the time I finished washing up, it was nearly bedtime. I ran across the hall and scrambled into a pair of pajamas then did the rest of the things I needed before calling my parents to tuck me in. We read a short story together and said goodnight.

The soft spattering of the rain lulled me right to sleep but hours later I woke up anxious and a little afraid. The apartment was still and dark so I guessed my parents had gone to bed. I heard a strange noise and strained my eyes and ears hoping to discover what it was. While I huddled in my bed a light breeze shuffled the blinds. I was too afraid to get up and close the slider myself and considered calling my mom.

"Elayna?" my breath caught in my chest when I recognized Michael's voice.

"Oh," I cried out excitedly, "it's you!" It was such a relief.

"Ssh," he put his finger to his lips signaling me not to be loud.

"Sorry," I breathed and cautiously slipped from my bed. My mother always left a shoe in my doorway so it wouldn't be too dark if I needed to get up at night. After I moved it out of the way, I pulled the door closed and flipped the light.

I stood dumbfounded and couldn't think of anything to say while I watched Michael slowly walking around my room. He examined things as he went then made his way towards my bed and sat down. He patted the covers motioning me over.

I propped my pillow and climbed up. "I hoped I would see you again!" I said as I slid my legs under the blankets.

"Did you?" Michael chuckled.

I nodded enthusiastically.

"Well, I'm glad I came then. I hope I didn't get you in trouble today." he apologized.

His reminder made me cringe with guilt. I lowered my eyes, "No," I said, "but my mom told me never to do it again. She said it's scary when she doesn't know where I am."

"Mmm," Michael mumbled and nodded in understanding.

"She said I need to be careful because there are lots of nice people in the world, like you, but sometimes they look nice on the outside and aren't on the inside. She said sometimes someone might look bad but is really, really good."

"Your mother sounds very wise."

I liked the way he said it and smiled with pride.

"How do you know I'm a nice person, Elayna?"

My heart sank and I instantly realized I might have misjudged him.

"You're not so sure, now are you? What if I told you I am not a nice person, that I am not a good person?"

I wanted so much for him to be a good person, I never considered he might be someone dangerous, someone I should be afraid of. I didn't want to believe it and tried coming up with a reason I knew he was a good person.

"Well," I cautiously said, "my dad once told me that everyone is good deep down inside. He said sometimes people make bad choices whether they mean to or not and if they are not careful, it leads to another and another. He told me everyone has the potential to be good, though, when they're given the chance."

"Interesting," he tilted his head thoughtfully, "but not enough."

It sounded like he was saying my dad was wrong and it made me defensive. "Well, why do you think you're a bad person?"

Michael seemed taken aback. He looked surprised and unsure how to respond. He turned away and considered my question. For a moment, I didn't think he would answer.

"Because of what I am, because of what I've done," his voice came out in an airy whisper.

When he turned back, he looked distraught. It sounded like he had just confided in me and I regretted the harsh tone I questioned him with. "If you have done something wrong you should say you're sorry and try to make it right," I said hoping he would hear the apology in my voice.

"That's not possible. I can't change back and I can't undo the things I've done," his voice cracked and he looked shamefully away again.

I couldn't imagine what he meant but after hearing the regret in his voice I felt sorry for Michael and wanted to make him feel better.

"If you've changed, maybe it's because you've given up too easily. I bet you were a good person before. Were you?"

"Yes, I tried to be, anyway." He lifted his head up, "But things are different now..."

"Everybody does things they shouldn't sometimes. If I catch myself doing something wrong, I try thinking of something that will remind me not to. Maybe you could, too."

The woeful expression on his face deepened, "Oh, I'm sorry," I whispered and inched toward him. This was new; I had never seen a man cry. In my experience the grown-ups had always comforted the children not the other way around. I put his head on my shoulder, hoping it was the right thing to do. "Why are you so sad?"

I felt his breath against my neck, "Because I came here tonight to take something from you," he mumbled.

"You mean to steal from me?"

"Yes, something like that. Would you still say you think I'm a nice person; that I can be a good person?" He pulled back curious to hear what I had to say.

"I would tell you it's wrong to take things from people and that you shouldn't."

"What if I can't help myself; what if I can't stop myself from," he paused, "from taking?"

It reminded me of something I did a year or two before and I decided to tell him the story. I chose my most solemn voice, "When I was little," he smiled finding the humor in this declaration. I cleared my throat and began again, "When I was little, my mother brought home a package of cheese from the grocery store."

"Cheese?" he snickered. "You're going to tell me a story about cheese?"

Though it made me happy hearing him laugh, it disappointed me to be interrupted again. I raised my eyebrows to show him I didn't approve. He pursed his lips and rolled his eyes as if to apologize. I smiled, "She gave me a slice to try before she put it in the refrigerator. I really liked it and couldn't stop thinking about it. After dinner, while my parents watched TV, I snuck into the kitchen and found the package of cheese. I ate slice after slice after slice. It was so good, I couldn't stop myself. I ate the whole package and put the wrapper in the trash so no one would know. I took my bath and went to bed just like always. Later that night I woke up and was sick to my stomach, over and over again. It was the worst night of my life."

I looked up and saw that Michael had stopped smiling. He studied me intently and encouraged me to finish my story.

"It worried my parents and they went through the apartment looking for anything I might have gotten into that would have made me so sick. My mother found the wrapper, so I told my parents what I had done. I felt much better afterward. They said it was alright and they were happy I told them the truth. They explained that the cheese had made me sick because I had eaten far too much. My parents reminded me that it's okay to have a little of something but too much of anything can be very bad for you. They didn't punish me and asked me if I learned my lesson. I told them I understood and promised never to do it again. It made me..." I struggled to find an appropriate word.

"Stronger?" Michael offered.

"Yes!" I beamed.

He seemed intrigued by what I told him.

"Now when my mom bakes cookies and tells me to help myself I only take one and you know what?"

"What?"

"They are always better than I remember! It seems like... like if you haven't had something for a long time, the next time you do it tastes even better than the last time. It makes you want to wait and wait and wait so it will be even better the next time."

"But what if after waiting so long you lose control again and you can't stop after just one."

"I remember the time I ate the cheese."

"Huh," he smiled with wonder as he sat there and the minutes passed. He looked like he was carefully considering everything I said.

I waited for him to say something and when he didn't I cautiously added, "If you can't stop taking... maybe..."

"Maybe what?"

"You can find a memory that will make you stronger."

Michael brightened, "You're very wise," he said, "just like your mother."

I smiled, pleased with the idea he had taken me so seriously.

"Thank you for your story, Elayna. I'm glad you shared it with me. I enjoyed talking with you."

My face lit up and my cheeks glowed.

"I have to go now," he said, "but maybe the next time I'm not feeling... strong... I will try remembering you." He stood up and Michael took a step towards me. He kissed my cheek and when he pulled away, I sensed the invisible thread again winding its way towards him. He made his way to the slider and eased it open.

"Goodbye, Michael," I called as he was about to leave.

He seemed surprised and shook his head, "How did you know my name?"

"I just... when you kissed me... then I knew it."

"Goodbye, Elayna. I hope I can come and see you again sometime; perhaps when I'm stronger."

I smiled, "I'd like that," I said. "I'd like us to be friends."

"No one else could know," he weighted his words with importance.

I hesitated. I had never had a secret or kept anything from my parents. "I understand."

"Promise," he tilted his head.

I concentrated, "I promise," and watched for the change in his expression to see if he heard my thoughts again.

He smiled letting me know he had then stepped through the slider.

## Chapter 4

I lost track of how many nights I lay awake hoping Michael would visit me again. Sometimes I fell asleep only to wake up suddenly and scan my room expecting to find him there. As the days became weeks and the weeks became months, I started to believe it was all a dream. I convinced myself that after I met him at the mall, my mind took the memory and ran away with it.

With each day that passed I thought less and less of him until he nearly slipped from my mind. It was an unbelievable surprise when he finally came back the following August. He nudged me awake late one night and as I drifted from sleep he whispered in my ear, "Happy Anniversary," he said.

My heart leapt at the sound. "Michael!" I cried out as soon as I realized it was him.

I sat up, scrambled from the covers and closed my door. I flipped the light switch and there he was, sitting on my bed just like the night after we first met. He looked exactly the way I remembered but something was noticeably different about him. He seemed happier and if I had understood the word better, I might have said peaceful. I wanted to run over and hug him but was too nervous to do something so personal. Smiling, I climbed back into bed.

"What did you mean, Happy Anniversary?" I asked once I got settled.

"This is the day we met, exactly one year ago today."

"Really?"

"Really!" he asserted.

"Only one year, Michael? It seems like forever!"

"It does now but when you're my age, a year will seem like a day."

I knew he wasn't telling the truth but it didn't matter, I was so happy he remembered me and had kept his promise.

"Where have you been? I didn't think you would ever come back!"

"Working and trying to be... stronger."

"Have you been stronger?"

He looked earnest and sincere when he answered my question, "I have," he assured me. "I've thought of you more times than I can count and every time I do it helps... you've helped me," he paused, "more than you will ever know." He looked away and I realized that he had said much more than he wanted.

He was utterly quiet for a moment but then he turned back and gave me a mischievous grin, "Would you like to come somewhere with me?"

"Right now?" The idea thrilled me but I hesitated knowing how wrong it would be.

"Mmm, hmm," he nodded. "I want to show you something."

"Oh, I don't know, Michael..."

"We won't go far," he reassured me, both in word and thought, "in fact, we won't even leave your building," he reached for my hand.

I fearfully looked toward my bedroom door, "What about my mom and dad?"

"They're sleeping and I will hear them if they wake. If I promise to get you back before anyone notices you're gone, will you come with me?"

I smiled and reached for his hand. He helped me down and we walked toward the slider together. I stopped midway and tucked my feet into a pair of slippers. I was still a little reluctant sneaking out like that and in my pajamas as well. Michael seemed confident, though, and I was too curious wondering what he wanted to show me to worry about the consequences.

It seemed warm, almost hot outside as Michael held the blinds and I stepped through the sliding door. Once we were on the balcony he let go of my hand and squatted down with his back to me, "Hop up," he said.

At that point I was downright giddy with excitement and lost my apprehension. I wrapped my arms around his chest, careful not to choke him. He felt cool and strong as I clambered up. It reminded me of the feeling you get when you crawl beneath the sheets at the beginning of the night and they are crisp and cold wherever they touch your bare skin.

"You'll need to hold tighter than that," he stole a glance over his shoulder at me.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. You won't hurt me and I'll need my arms to climb so I won't be able to hold you up. Have you got a good grip?"

"Yes, Michael," I nodded.

He hopped onto the railing of my balcony and reached up to the floor of the balcony just above mine. He pulled us up to the next level and perched on the outside edge of that balcony. As he repeated the process over and over again I grew more and more terrified with each floor we passed. I was desperate not to look down and clung to Michael with my eyes tightly closed until we reached the rooftop.

The surface was flat and gravelly and I heard it crunching beneath his feet as he took my hands and slipped me off his back, "Here we are."

I looked around wondering what he wanted to show me, "I don't see anything, Michael."

It was so dark I couldn't make out anything more than a few inches in front of me. I peered into the darkness and stretched out my hands hoping to find him.

"Oops," he laughed. "I forgot myself. You can't see that well in the dark, can you?"

"No."

"Are you scared?"

"Yes, Michael, very."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Here," he cradled me up into his arms and walked to the corner of the roof and sat down with me on his lap. He stretched his legs out and adjusted me so I was sitting on him like I would sit on a lounge chair with my legs stuck straight out on top of his. He put his hands down and told me to lean back and look up at the sky.

It seemed so odd to me, sitting on the roof like that with Michael in the middle of the night. I was ready to tell him I didn't like it and wanted to go back to my room. "There," he said and pointed to the sky.

I followed with my eyes to where he pointed. At first I didn't notice anything but as I continued to stare into the darkness something magical happened. Every minute or so a shooting star swept across the sky. I had never seen a shooting star and was absolutely awestruck when I saw my first.

"Did you see?" Michael asked me.

"I did!" I said, nodding my head enthusiastically.

"Keep looking, there'll be more. It's called the Perseid Meteor Shower. You can see it every year about this time and it's best right now. People have been watching it for thousands of years if you can believe it."

"Thousands," I said, "and I never saw it once."

"Its name comes from a Greek word; it means the sons of Perseus, or something like that. Perseus was the son of a god and a great hero. He defeated a terrible monster called the Kraken to save the woman he loved from being sacrificed."

I rolled my eyes, "That sounds mushy."

"It does," he laughed, "but it's a good story, too. There are flying horses and one-eyed monsters, gods and goddesses, magic and mystery. You might like it someday."

"I already do."

"Oh?" his voice sounded curious.

"I like it because you do."

I couldn't see his face but I hoped he was smiling. We sat on the roof for as long as we could and counted every meteor (shooting star I insisted) we saw. After a while he sighed and told me it was getting late and we needed to go back inside. It made me sad to realize our night had come to an end but I was sleepy. I sighed with reluctance and agreed to let him take me to my room.

He walked me towards the edge of the roof and scooped me up, "it's easier to get down than it is to get up." He held me tightly to his chest and leapt all the way to the ground. I never had a chance to protest or tell him not to jump; it was over before I even realized what we had done. He just laughed and had me hop onto his back again for the quick climb to my balcony.

"I hope you had a good time tonight," Michael tucked me in and pulled the covers up to my chin.

"Oh, Michael, I had the best time! Thank you so much for coming to visit me again."

He kissed me on the top of my head and spun to leave.

"Wait," I called to him, "when will you be back?"

"Soon, Elayna. I will come visit you again as soon as I can."

"I'll miss you," I hurriedly blurted out.

He stopped mid-stride as if frozen in thought. "Here," he said with a touch of pity. He came back and put his hands one on each side of my face and poured his gaze into mine. An odd fuzziness crept over my mind. I wished over and over again he would stop but I couldn't break free from whatever he was doing. I saw the images from throughout the night as if they were being rewound and painted over; covered up so I wouldn't be able to remember them.

I reached for his hands to pull them away, "Please," I whimpered.

He shook his head, "It's better this way but I promise the next time I come they'll be there for you, just not until then. I'm so sorry," he said.

## Chapter 5

November was a snowy month. By Thanksgiving we'd had half a dozen storms and there were mountains of snow piled around our complex. My friend Erica and I spent almost every afternoon playing in the banks or sledding down one of the nearby hills. Our most recent storm cancelled school one day and as soon as I heard the news I asked my mother if we could stop by Erica's to see if she could play. She told me we needed to pick up a few groceries once the plows came through and I'd have to wait until we got back.

We went to the store after lunch and when we got home Erica was just coming out of her building. I waved to her as we drove by. She waved back and ran the length of the sidewalk to where we parked. I hardly had a chance to unbuckle and get my door open before she was beside my window eager to find out if I could play. We made our plans while my mother collected our groceries.

I motioned my mom to hurry as she shuffled along the walkway careful not to step on any ice patches. After she let us in I wriggled into my snow pants and found my hat and gloves. My boots were on a mat by the door. It was always a struggle to get them on and when my mom finished putting the groceries away she glanced over. She noticed how much trouble I was having and offered me hand. She twisted first one foot into a boot then the other.

Once I finished bundling up, I asked if I could head down. "Sure, sweetie. I'll be right out," my mom opened the door for me and I scrambled down the hall. I took the stairs rather than waiting for the elevator and found Erica standing by the side door.

"Wanna go sledding?" she asked as soon as she saw me.

"Sure! We have to wait for my mom, though."

We tried building a snowman to pass the time but the snow wasn't sticky enough and it ended up looking more like a snow mound than anything else. Hoping to give it some character we found two twigs for arms and scavenged the ground looking for stones to use for eyes, a nose and a mouth. As we placed our pebbles, my mom joined us.

"Not very good snow, huh?" she asked.

"No, but can we go sledding?"

"As long as it's okay with Erica's mom. Why don't you run in and let her know where we'll be while I get your sled?"

Erica and I went together and hurried back as soon as she had her mother's permission. We snagged our sleds and made a dash for the hill.

There wasn't enough room for both of us to slide down at the same time so we took turns. I made the first run and while I pulled my sled and trekked back up Erica came racing down. We formed a steady circuit and even got my mom to take a trip or two. Eventually we wore ourselves out and plopped down to take a break. It was getting dark and our clothes were wet from soaking up the snow. We were cold and uncomfortable so Erica and I decided it was time to head home. My mom eagerly agreed and helped us with our sleds.

We walked Erica to her building and after she rang her buzzer, we waited until she was safely inside. I breathed a sigh of relief once we were in our own apartment and shimmied out of my snowy, damp clothes. After I peeled off my layers, my mom suggested I take my shower to help warm up before dinner. She promised a hot cocoa for dessert and sent me on my way while she gathered up my wet clothes and stuffed them into the washer.

My dad came home as I finished getting dressed. "Early bath?" he asked me.

"We went sledding."

"Did you have fun?"

"Lots," he helped me twist my hair into a towel.

"That's good. Dinner's ready. Are you hungry?"

"Starving!"

My dad chuckled. He looked especially happy as he led the way to the dining room and helped me with my chair. Before we started eating, he put an envelope on the table.

"What's that?" I asked.

"A surprise."

"Surprise. What kind of surprise?"

"Why don't you open it and find out?" he teased.

I tore open the envelope and pulled out three tickets then turned them over to see what they were for.

"The Nutcracker!!" I exclaimed.

"Yep," my father gave me a proud grin.

"Where did you get those?" My mom asked suspiciously.

We weren't a poor family but three theater tickets were definitely not something we would splurge on. I had always wanted to see the Nutcracker. I wasn't particularly interested in the ballet but a few of my friends went every year and talked about how amazing it was. It sounded so exciting and I wondered what it would be like to have a magical night like Clara's; to be treated like a princess and have a real, live prince rescue me from the clutches of the Rat King.

While I studied the tickets, my dad explained how he had gotten them. My father worked as a financial analyst, making reports that people used to help predict whether a certain stock or fund would do well. He told my mother he got the tickets from a new client his firm hoped to pick-up.

"His name is Michael Donovan," my dad said, "and he stopped by as I was getting ready to leave. He apologized for coming so late and asked if I would stay a minute so he could introduce himself. It surprised me, most investors work directly with the managers not the analysts. When I asked him about it he said he wanted to be more hands-on while directing where his money would go. He hoped to work one on one with the analysts as well as the managers and wanted to meet us individually before making any decisions."

"Sounds stuffy," my mom interjected.

"Just cautious, and understandably so. Honestly, I'd probably do the same if I had a portfolio like his," my dad shrugged his understanding and approval. "Anyway, I offered to answer any questions he might have and the first thing he asked was whether I was married and had any children. Before I realized what I was doing, I told him all about the two of you. He listened so politely and seemed so genuinely interested. I must have rambled for half an hour or more. He never interrupted except to have me clarify a point here or there. Eventually I came to my senses and apologized. He smiled and shook his head, "No need to apologize," he said. "This is exactly what I hoped for. You've told me more about yourself through your family than you would have if I'd asked more pointed questions."

"I wasn't sure what to say and while I hesitated wondering, he reached inside his coat and pulled out the tickets. "Do you have any plans this weekend?" I shook my head, "Uh, no." "Well, I have a box at the Arts Center and thought I would leave these at the front desk for anyone who wanted them. It sounds like your family would enjoy them more than anyone else I've met so far; would you consider joining me?" He seemed so earnest and sincere. I had to accept them. For some reason, I couldn't say no."

My father looked from me to my mother hoping for a confirmation he had done the right thing by accepting the tickets. I had no hesitation about them and joined my father's appeal to make sure my mom agreed.

She broke down after a minute or two, "Of course you did the right thing. I'm sure Elayna will love the ballet and it will be a fun night for us, too."

"Yes," I did a little fist pump like I'd seen my dad do when he was trying to be funny about some silly little success or other.

"Elayna will need something to wear," my mom looked thoughtful.

"You should get something, too." my dad suggested.

"I don't think there's enough time to shop for both of us."

"Sure there is. You can look for yourself while Elayna's in school tomorrow and when she gets out, take her. Make it a two-step process so you're not trying to do everything at once."

My mom tilted her head, "That's a good idea. Do you need me to get anything for you?" she asked.

"Nope, I'm good," he assured her.

After dinner, we sat together in the living room and watched TV. It was too late for any of the shows to interest me so I sipped my hot chocolate and cuddled with my dad while he flipped through the channels. After a while my mom called out the time and I knew I needed to get ready for bed. I peeled myself off my dad's lap and headed to my bathroom to brush my teeth.

As I finished my nighttime routine, my mom came and took a book from my shelf. "Daddy dozed off, just us girls tonight." She read the story then pulled the covers up to my chin and kissed me goodnight. All the earlier outdoor activity exhausted me and I fell right to sleep.

Though I never cared much for shopping the idea of going to the ballet and getting dressed up was all I thought about the next day. By the time school ended and my mom finally picked me up I had worked myself into a bit of a panic. I was sure I wouldn't be able to find a dress or if I did, it wouldn't be one I liked. I kept thinking everyone had gone to the mall already and bought all the good dresses before I had a chance.

Once we were there, I relaxed as my mom led me to one of the department stores. Against my suspicions there weren't many people shopping and the racks were full of holiday dresses. The saleslady was extra attentive since there wasn't anyone else to wait on and found an array of dresses for me to try. I never understood the concept of the one but remembered my mother using the expression before. After about half a dozen dresses my mother pulled one over my head and I suddenly realized what it meant.

It was an odd color between black and purple. The tag referred to it as eggplant and it was definitely an appropriate description. It fell in soft pleats all the way to my ankles. It had a wide, black band wrapping around the dress just above my waist and the sleeves were soft and fluttery. As I walked back and forth the folds rustled against one another and swayed with my gait. I loved the way it looked and could tell by the expressions on my mother and the saleslady I found the perfect dress.

My mom made our purchase then brought me to the shoe store where we picked out a pair of shiny, black flats to complete my outfit. It was such a relief and I knew Saturday would be the best night of my life.

On the way home I told my mother how excited I was, "I can't wait to wear my dress and see the ballet and sit in the box!"

She smiled at me in the mirror as she drove, "Make sure you hang it in your closet when we get home, so it doesn't get wrinkled. And leave it in the bag, too, so it won't get dirty."

"I will," I promised.

By the time Saturday arrived, I was beside myself with anticipation. I glanced at the clock more times than I could count and repeatedly asked my parents when we should start getting ready.

"Soon," was the response I received more often than not and it wasn't until halfway through the afternoon that my mom finally excused herself to take a bath. Afterwards she spent over an hour fixing her hair and make-up. Before she put her own dress on, she called me into her bedroom and helped me with mine. She asked if I wanted her to do something special with my hair. I gave her an enthusiastic yes and with a knowing smile she brought me to her vanity.

She brushed my hair smooth and gathered it into a ponytail before twisting it into a neat bun. After she pinned it into place, my mom fetched her jewelry box. She rummaged through the various pieces and found a few rhinestone clips that she put in my hair to accentuate it here and there. When she finished, she gave me a small mirror and angled it so I could see what she'd done.

"You look so pretty," she laid her hand on my shoulder and smiled down at me.

"Thank you!" I beamed. It seemed so different, so grown-up.

As I studied myself I heard my dad's footsteps coming down the hall and hurried out to show him. "How're you girls coming along?" he asked when he came into view. "Whoa!" his eyes went wide. He stopped in his tracks and squinted down at me, "Who is this beautiful girl?!"

"Daddy!" I rolled my eyes at him.

He laughed at my sarcasm, "Oh, it's you! I hardly recognized you!" He took my hand and spun me around. My mother came over and he kissed her cheek, "Well, I guess I've got my work cut out for me if I plan to spend my evening with you two!"

He shooed me out of their bedroom and told me to be careful not to ruin my dress or mess my hair. After a quick shower, he changed into his best suit and just as he finished knotting his tie the buzzer rang. Both he and my mother stepped from their bedroom.

My mother was wearing a long, red dress paired with a pair of black heels and a long, black scarf draped around her elbows. To me my mother always looked pretty but when I saw her I thought she looked absolutely beautiful. I gave her a huge smile to let her know how nice she looked.

"Hmm," she said, "I wonder who that might be."

My father pushed the button and spoke into the intercom, "Yes?"

"Your driver for the Arts Center, sir."

"Driver?" He looked from me to my mother in confusion.

He spoke into the intercom again, "We didn't call for a driver."

"No sir, Mr. Donovan sent his car. He said you were meeting him at the ballet tonight."

My dad raised his eyebrows in complete surprise. "Well, um, I guess we'll be right down." He turned to my mother, "How about that, then?" He looked pleased with the prospect of not having to drive.

My mother didn't look quite so sure but there didn't seem to be any alternative. "Well, this will be a memorable night, won't it?"

We gathered our coats and whatever belongings we needed to take then my dad ushered us down to the front door. A long, black car sat parked along the curb. "A limousine!" I thought to myself.

The driver stood beside the passenger's door and opened it with a little flourish. He took my mother's hand as she approached and helped her in. When he turned back, he smiled down at me, "Mr. Donovan mentioned he was having an extra special guest tonight. You must be Elayna."

"Yes, sir," I replied. While he helped me in I flushed from head to toe; thrilled with all my childish notions about the upcoming experience.

My dad slid in and sat beside my mother then the driver closed the door and took his seat at the wheel. He pulled away from our building and we began our drive into the city.

The driver didn't talk much and my mom and dad seemed a little overwhelmed by the touch of extravagance so the ride was relatively quiet. I spent most of the time looking out the window and watching the cars that passed us until they left my view. When there wasn't any traffic I counted the streetlights as they cast their glow on us at steady intervals along our route. After a while my mind wandered off and I found myself wondering about Mr. Donovan and why he was being so nice to us. I must have had a curious expression because my dad nudged me and asked what I was thinking about.

"I guess I was thinking about Mr. Donovan and wondering what he'll be like."

"Oh, you'll like him, I'm sure. He's not at all what you'd expect."

I waited for him to tell me more but he turned to my mom instead. He asked her whether we should try getting a bite to eat in the city after the show.

Several minutes later we arrived at the Arts Center. There was a line of cars and groups of people exiting from them at the front of the building. We slowly edged our way towards the top of the arrival line and as we reached the main entryway, our driver hopped out and delivered us from the back seat. He let us know he would meet us there once the show was over.

"Enjoy the ballet," the driver nodded a farewell before hurrying away.

I grasped my father's hand and my mother took his arm on the other side. Together we walked up the short flight of stairs and into the Arts Center. Once we were through the main doorway, we stepped into a hall that looked as if it might have been a palace throne room. The tiled floor sparkled under a series of chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. The sound of hundreds of feet echoed as they tapped across the entryway. There were pillars lining each side of the room and doorways to the left and right. Every nook and cranny of the hall looked like someone had carved it from marble or stone or wood. Everything seemed to catch my eye at once and I couldn't get over the magnificence.

My father led us further in and after he displayed our tickets an usher directed us to a stairway to our left. At the top of the stairway we turned left again and walked down a short flight to the first box on our tier. There was no one there except for us. My father suggested a seat, "I think you'll get the best view from here. Hand me your coat, sweetie."

I shrugged out of my jacket and my dad hung it on one of the little hooks protruding from the wall. I took the seat he recommended and looked over the audience and the stage. The lighting in the box was darker than the hallway but once my eyes adjusted, I could make out the people nearest us. Everyone seemed so nicely dressed and elegant looking. As my gaze wandered toward the stage, I recognized the pit area where the musicians were tuning up their various instruments and watched them excitedly.

Beyond the musicians lay the stage. The heavy curtains shrouding it shifted while last-minute preparations went on behind them. As the ushers finished guiding people to their seats, my eyes continued wandering throughout the auditorium while I listened to the underlying hum of hundreds of conversations.

The entire scene mesmerized me and my face was glowing with happiness when my father rested his hand on my shoulder. "Elayna, Mr. Donovan is here."

I spun around and there he stood. As soon as I saw him it triggered a series of memories. They flooded my mind and I almost gasped when Michael stepped forward and my father introduced him. "Hello, Elayna. It's so nice to meet you," his voice didn't betray anything but his expression seemed to tease me. My father looked curious when he saw the spark of recognition in my eyes.

"Elayna, are you alright?" he asked with a touch of concern.

Michael bent down and spoke loud enough for both my parents to hear, "I remember you!" he smiled. "You're the little girl from the mall aren't you; the one by the fountain?"

My mother suddenly recalled the moment and stepped up, "Oh, yes, Mr. Donovan, was that you? It was, wasn't it! Why that must have been, what, 2 years ago? I nearly forgot that day and certainly never expected to see you again," she told my father the story and thanked Mr. Donovan again for his intervention.

"Not quite 2 years but close," Michael held his hand out. "It's nice to see you again, Elayna. I love your dress. You look even prettier than I remember," it was obvious he was enjoying the success of his surprise.

I trembled with excitement as I took his hand and with a huge smile politely replied, "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Donovan."

"Please, call me Michael," he slowly rose and turned to my father. "I'm so glad you and your family could make it, Mr. Davis," he grasped my dad's hand before addressing my mother. "It's such a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Davis," he leaned toward her and tentatively brushed her cheek with a kiss.

"Mr. Donovan, I can't thank you enough for the tickets, the car; it's so kind of you to put yourself out like this."

"It wasn't any trouble at all. I got your address from your office," he looked at my father, "I hope you don't mind. I thought the car would be a fun surprise for your little girl," Michael glanced over my dad's shoulder and smiled at me. "It's a shame, actually, I've had this box all season and only used it once or twice. So really, it's more of a kindness that you are joining me; I might not have come if you hadn't taken the tickets."

I stood in a daze and listened to Michael, my father and mother speaking quietly together while they waited for the show to begin. Once my surprise wore off, I wished over and over it was just the two of us, and I didn't have to be so calm and careful. I would have given anything to show how happy and excited I was to be there with him. The lights flashed when the performance was about to start and the distraction gave me a bit of a relief as everyone hurried to their seats.

I turned away and was about to sit down but noticed someone else stepping into Michael's box. She was a pretty woman about Michael's age with blonde hair and blue eyes. She was tall and sophisticated looking and breathless from hurrying to get to the show on time.

"I'm sorry I'm late," she threw her arms around Michael and kissed him. He smiled somewhat awkwardly, took the woman's elbow and excused himself from my parents as I looked on. I didn't understand what was wrong with me but suddenly my heart was pounding and I couldn't catch my breath. My insides were fighting to get out as I watched the two of them talking.

It only took a moment for Michael to say whatever he needed then he rejoined my parents and offered them a quick introduction. I didn't catch the lady's name because the throbbing in my ears was the only thing I could hear while I looked over the group of adults in front of me.

It never occurred to me that Michael would have a date and seeing them together absolutely devastated me. I had the horrible realization that Michael was a grown-up and I was just a little girl. He caught my eye and saw how distraught I was as I slumped into my seat.

His expression showed his concern but it would have been impossible for me to explain what was wrong under the circumstances. I bit back my disappointment and focused on the stage while the first of the dancers made their way through the set.

Michael sat down behind me and whispered, "I hope you like the show."

Knowing he was there eased helped ease my tension. Afterwards, it didn't take long for me to become enthralled with the acrobatic and cinematic display as the scenes unfolded one by one. The story completely engaged me and I soon forgot everything else.

I couldn't stop smiling while I watched. It seemed truly magical, just like I'd hoped. The sets, the music, the ballerinas and their partners; I fell in love with the imagery and the world around me disappeared. When intermission came, I realized I'd been sitting like a statue through the first few acts. My arms and legs had grown stiff from being in such a rigid position for so long. I stretched and glanced at my mom and dad. They looked like they were enjoying the ballet, too.

"What do you think so far?" My mother's eyes brightened when she asked me.

My father and Michael listened, anxious to hear my reply, "It's wonderful! A million times better than any movie I've ever seen!" I said breathlessly.

"I'm so glad you're enjoying it," Michael bent his knee as we talked so we were at eye level. "Who's your favorite character so far?"

"Clara, of course!"

"Would you like to meet her after the show?"

"Oh, no, Mr. Donovan," my mother protested.

He stood up and faced my parents, "It's not often I get to take advantage of the privileges they hand out to the supporting members of the Center. It's just a benefit they give when you buy a box for the season," he assured them.

My mother looked at me, turned to my father and helplessly back to Michael, "If you're sure it won't be too much trouble."

The lady seemed curious to know what we were talking about and joined the group. "Hello, Elayna, I'm Brenda. Michael didn't have a chance to introduce us earlier but I have been so eager to meet you." She smiled and held her hand out.

"It's nice to meet you, Brenda," I managed to say though I hesitated to shake hands. Thankfully my father recognized my reluctance. He stepped forward and made my excuse for me.

"She's a little nervous around new people."

"Yes, I see," Brenda's interest disintegrated and she carried herself to Michael's side. She took his hand and another wave of disappointment swept over me. "My, you look dapper tonight, Michael," she smoothed the wrinkles from his shoulders and fiddled with his tie. "Oh," she cooed, "and what's this?" She looked from him to me and back again, "How cute! You two match."

I hadn't noticed before but Brenda was right, Michael's tie was the perfect shade to match my dress. It would have seemed like a coincidence to anyone else but he must have picked the tie particularly for me. It must have been his way of showing me he was there for me and not Brenda.

She unfortunately discerned the faint blush that burned my cheeks. It was very unsettling to have gotten caught and even more so when she pointed it out. "I think someone is developing a bit of a crush over here," Brenda said with a patronizing grin. She spoke loud enough that everyone heard her and it seemed like she did it on purpose. My heart sank. Mortified, I reached for my mother's hand.

She looked down at me with a touch of understanding and pity. "Let's go freshen up, Elayna. Would you excuse us?"

My father volunteered to come as well and Michael gave a slight bow to my mother as she led me away. I refused to look at him even though I knew he was trying to catch my eye.

"Why did you do that?" he asked Brenda once we were out of range. "You realize how upsetting that must have been for her? She's just a little girl, why would you embarrass her like that?" His voice was sharp and harsh but muffled enough not to draw any unnecessary attention.

"Good grief, Michael! Why are you so upset?"

"These people are my guests and it's my intention to show them every kindness tonight, especially Elayna."

Brenda didn't like the tone in his voice and vengefully tossed a reply, "Ah, so she's not the only one with an unnatural attachment I see."

I sensed Michael's anger trailing after me. It felt strange, like we were sharing it somehow. I tried blocking it out as my mom and I made our way to the restrooms. I kept my eyes down determined not to let her see how sad and disappointed I'd become. My mother was well aware, though.

Before we went in, she stopped and turned to me. "It was rude of Brenda to embarrass you like that. I'm sorry for it," she took a deep breath. "Elayna, Mr. Donovan is a handsome man and it's perfectly natural to think so. You are young now and may not understand it completely but I'm sure it would be difficult for any woman, of any age, not to find him attractive. You should never be ashamed of appreciating beauty, no matter when or where you find it."

My mother's understanding made me feel better but I still thought Brenda deliberately wanted to upset me. I couldn't imagine facing Michael with her words ringing in my ears. I didn't understand why Michael would be with someone like her. She was completely undeserving of someone as remarkable as he was.

As we left the restroom, my dad gave my mother and I a little wave to get our attention. He was waiting in line to order drinks for us. We met him near the counter and he asked if either of us would like anything. My mother ordered a glass of wine and since there wasn't much for me to choose from I settled for a bottled water.

I noticed Michael standing a short way off talking in a hushed voice to Brenda. He smiled and nodded to my father as he moved away from the counter. When my dad handed the glass to my mom someone bumped her from behind and the wine spattered from the glass onto his shirt. My mother apologized and frantically began mopping it up. Michael saw what happened and excused himself from Brenda before hurrying over to help. He ordered a seltzer and grabbed a handful of napkins then gave them to my mother.

"Oh, thank you," she cried as she dabbed at the stains. The lights flashed while she worked and she glanced from my dad, to me, to Michael. "Well, this is terrible timing!"

"If it would help, I can take Elayna back to her seat," Michael offered.

"Would you?"

I was a reluctant to go with him but my parents assured me if I didn't I would miss the show. Michael's expression was full of hope as he offered me his hand. A slight smile crept across my lips and after another word or two with my parents, he led me away.

"I'm so sorry Brenda embarrassed you," he said as we walked.

"She's not a nice lady," I didn't mean to sound so bitter and resentful. "Why did you bring her?"

"Men do not often go to the ballet alone," he smiled down at me and there was a touch of humor in his voice. "It seemed appropriate I have a date. I didn't tell her I would have guests, though, so it's my fault she's so upset. It surprised her to find you here and maybe she thought... Well..." he shook his head. "Elayna you're very important to me and I wanted to do something special for you." I knew he was being sincere and tried to be understanding.

We stopped a moment and Michael explained how he came up with the idea but realized there was no way for me to enjoy the show without my parents. Once he came up with the plan, he told me how he arranged to meet my father at his office and convinced him to take the tickets. As an afterthought, he sent the car hoping it would provide some extra insurance we would come. He imagined everything that might have gone wrong and carefully constructed it to be a memorable night for me without giving our friendship away. Michael assured me that Brenda was just there for appearances and apologized for the necessity of inviting her as well.

When we got to the box, he helped me to my seat. "I'm going to check on your parents," he said. "I'll be right back."

As he stepped away Brenda came in and sat beside me. I looked away hoping she wouldn't talk to me but despite my lack of interest she started speaking.

"Elayna, I want to apologize if I have hurt your feelings in any way. I guess I have forgotten what it's like to be your age and feel the helpless pressure of a crush."

"I do not have a crush," I said defensively.

"Of course, you don't," Brenda laughed. I didn't like her expression and wanted to stand up and run after Michael but was afraid I might get lost in the crowd. "You think you are in love and that Michael is in love with you," she went on, her voice sounded spiteful. "Michael is more than 3 times your age, if you think about it you will realize that is not how love works. Michael doesn't love you," she paused in emphasis, "at least not the way you imagine you love him. You are just a little distraction for him at the moment. He will forget you soon enough," she said with tremendous surety.

"Michael doesn't love you."

I knew Brenda said more than that but only those words registered and repeated themselves over and over again in my mind. The sense of wrongness that struck me when I first saw Michael and Brenda together washed over me again. My mother and father returned with Michael and I stood up. The lights dimmed and the show resumed as they moved toward their seats. When my mother was close enough, I lunged for her and told her I didn't feel well and wanted to go home.

I saw a fearful look gathering in her eyes as she studied me and placed her palm on my forehead. "Oh, my! You're burning up, sweetie. I think we should go," she looked at my father for confirmation. He placed his hand on my forehead and nodded his agreement, "I'll let Mr. Donovan know."

My father bent down and quietly told Michael we needed to leave. He hastily ejected himself from his seat and found me and my mother standing in the hallway near the stairs. I had my face turned away, unable to look at him just then. I didn't realize it but my anguish built a wall around my thoughts and kept Michael from examining and understanding what was wrong.

"Is everything alright?" His voice sounded full of concern. He looked at my mother then my father.

"Elayna's not feeling well. She seems to have a fever," my mother kissed the top of my head and apologized to Michael. "Would it be too much trouble to call the car for us? We have no way of getting in touch with the driver until the show is over."

"Yes, of course," he slipped his phone from his coat pocket and made the request for our driver to return.

"I'm sorry you're not well, Elayna," Michael gently caressed my shoulder.

"Elayna, please talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. Tell me what I can do to make you feel better. Please don't go," his inner voice begged. I heard his thoughts clearly but refused to open my mind and let him hear mine.

I ignored his plea and waited with my mother while my father gathered our coats and other belongings. He helped me into mine first then eased my mom into hers. Michael stood dumbfounded and could only watch as we prepared to leave.

My dad shook his hand and as he thanked him for everything, Brenda appeared in the doorway, "Are you leaving?"

"Oh, yes, sorry. Elayna seems to be coming down with something. It was lovely to meet you," my father said.

Michael turned to Brenda as if he had momentarily forgotten she was there. I saw the understanding sweep across his face while he puzzled out what must have encouraged our hurried departure.

"We'll walk you out," he said. "There's not much sense in staying for the show if you can't be here to enjoy it with us."

Brenda looked visibly dismayed at having the night conclude so abruptly. Michael's expression showed how unlikely it was she could dissuade him, though, and she choked back her protests.

Michael snatched her jacket and tucked it around her shoulders. He slipped into his as well and motioned us toward the lobby. I sensed him calling to me, "Elayna?" Every few moments he would try again, "Elayna?" It hurt to ignore him but every time he called my name, Brenda's voice echoed his with, "He doesn't love you," and I drew further and further into myself.

The driver was waiting for us when we got outside. As he made his way around the car Michael signaled that he would get it and opened the passenger's door for us. My mother helped me in then glided into the seat beside me. My father poured out his regrets one last time and thanked him again for his thoughtfulness. Michael popped his head in and wished my mother a goodnight and said how much he hoped I would get better soon.

He closed the door and the driver pulled away. I desperately wanted to look back but knew Michael would be standing there watching until the car was no longer in view.

## _Chapter 6  
_

"Elayna?" A few minutes ticked by, "Elayna?"

I'm not sure how I kept hearing him but it was impossible to escape Michael's pleas followed by the echo of Brenda's declaration, "He doesn't love you." The ride home seemed endless as disheartened as I was. By the time we pulled up to our building, my head was pounding and I was too weary to walk. My dad picked me up and I clung to his neck as he carried me inside.

Once we made it to our apartment, my mom helped me get ready for bed and gave me a dose of medicine. "This will bring your fever down and help you rest." She brushed the hair from my forehead and kissed me goodnight. After she left, my dad came and sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes. He gently stroked my arm until I relaxed and my eyes dropped closed.

Michael's voice continued calling out to me but not with the same intensity as before. He changed his appeal from, "Elayna," to a simple, "Please," and he sounded so defeated I almost relented and tried answering him. The medicine must have been working, though, because I fell fast asleep before I had the chance.

I rested soundly for an hour or two but then I started dreaming about Michael and Brenda. In my dream, they stood facing one another in front of a large window that provided an exceptional view of the skyline. It looked like they were in a living room somewhere in the city but I wasn't sure if it was Michael's or Brenda's. As the dream intensified, I realized they were talking and their conversation was about me.

"I asked you to apologize to Elayna," Michael looked calm but his voice sounded agitated.

"I did apologize," Brenda answered honestly. Michael sensed she hadn't told him everything and persisted with his questioning.

"How, exactly, did you apologize? What did you say?" he demanded.

Brenda took a deep breath and collected her thoughts while Michael grew more and more impatient. "Look Michael, I'm sorry I've upset you. I realize you were just trying to flatter the Davises by making an impression on their daughter. They are a novel little family and I can see how attached you are to each of them. I know there's nothing unnatural about your feelings for Elayna and I'm sorry for what I said. You didn't tell me you were having guests and it made me angry and maybe even a little jealous that they claimed so much of your attention tonight."

Michael listened but Brenda still hadn't answered his question. When he didn't say anything, she continued her explanation.

"Maybe you don't see it but that little girl is quite captivated by you. She is young and innocent and you are going to break her heart when she realizes you do not love her."

Michael closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Is that what you did? Did you tell Elayna I didn't love her?"

"Michael, please, you sound ridiculous," she chortled nervously.

"Did you? Did you tell Elayna that I do not love her?" His face lost all expression and Brenda couldn't tell whether he was angry or just concerned. She wondered how much would be safe for her to confess.

She took a deep breath, "I told her that she may think she is in love with you but you are 3 times her age. I assured her if she thought about it, she would understand that love does not work like that. I told her you didn't love her the way she imagines you do, that's all."

"Ah, that's all," Michael bowed his head and Brenda looked relieved. She seemed confident that Michael had accepted her explanation and was acknowledging the truth of what she said.

She moved a step closer to him, "I'm glad you understand. Elayna will be hurt for a day or two but she'll bounce right back and forget you just as quickly as you'll forget her." Michael stood motionless absorbing her words. She offered him an apologetic smile and raised her arms as she leaned forward to hug him. When she did, Michael suddenly came to life and violently grabbed her throat.

I screamed, or was it Brenda that was screaming? I couldn't tell my dream from reality as I fought to wake myself up.

My room flooded with light and my parents charged in. "Elayna, what's wrong? You were screaming, sweetie." My dad swept me into a tight hug while I trembled and sobbed. I was cold and damp and my nightgown clung to me. "Oh, goodness, she's burning up. Get the thermometer, honey."

My mother came back with it and checked first one ear and then the other. "101.8" she said, "100.9." She left and returned with another dose of medicine. I stifled my sobs and sipped it down. She helped me into a fresh pair of pajamas and tucked me back into bed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She always asked the same question whenever I had a bad dream. I didn't want to tell her this one, though, and shook my head no.

My father came in with a glass of water. "Here, try taking a sip."

I managed a couple of gulps before handing the glass to him. Afterwards they took turns saying goodnight again. My mom lingered on the edge of my bed until she thought I was about to drift off. I was still awake when she left and as soon as she fixed the door, I started to cry. They were quiet, private tears I didn't dare share with anyone else.

Something seemed terribly wrong. I felt broken; like a part of me was missing. I hadn't heard Michael's attempts to reach me ever since I woke up and knew something horrible had happened. As I lay awake with my silent tears, I regretted not answering him and my heart filled with remorse. I strove to make him hear me the same way I heard him. Even if I could, I wondered if he would answer especially since I had been so adamant with my denials when he needed me.

I cried myself to sleep and when I woke again, it was late Sunday morning. Before I got up, I looked over my room hoping to find some tell-tale sign that Michael had been there. When I didn't notice anything, I closed my eyes and concentrated. I prayed that he would hear me somehow but he didn't answer and I still didn't sense him at all. I sighed and stretched then climbed down from my bed. My fever had passed but I was still a little achy as I wound my way to the kitchen.

My mom was standing in the corner making coffee but stopped when she saw me. "Good morning, honey. How are you feeling?"

"Better," I said without much enthusiasm but she credited my listlessness to the fever and the troubled sleep I'd had.

"Are you hungry?"

"A little," I mumbled.

I didn't want breakfast but figured my mom would make me eat something, anyway. She put together a light breakfast of toast and juice along with a bit of fruit.

"Can I watch TV?"

"Sure," she ruffled my hair and helped me arrange my breakfast on the coffee table. Usually she told me how long I could watch for but she knew I was down and after a generous smile left me to myself.

I didn't pay any attention to the TV but one or two shows later my dad came and sat with me. I smiled weakly then lowered my eyes and pushed the food around on my plate.

"You should eat a little more, honey."

I absently picked up my toast and took a tasteless bite. After breakfast, I got dressed and ready to start the day. Both my parents made efforts to cheer me throughout the morning but none of them had any impact. I drifted from one suggested activity to the next but never really engaged in any of them. I kept worrying about Michael and it distracted me from everything else. Whenever I found myself alone, I focused my thoughts and begged him to answer me.

By the time we had dinner, I still hadn't noticed any sign of Michael. I looked forward to the end of the day so I could go to bed knowing that was when I would be most likely to either see or hear from him. After my parents said goodnight, I lay awake hoping for the sound of my slider or his inner voice calling my name. I strained so hard my head ached but there wasn't any trace of him.

Before I knew it, Monday morning came and my disappointment had grown into grief. Michael hadn't come or answered me and I doubted he ever would. I sighed more than once while I ate my breakfast and noticed my parents whispering to one another. When I realized they were talking about me and why I seemed so unhappy, I slipped away so they wouldn't ask and got ready for school. As I finished getting dressed, I overheard my mother telling my dad about Brenda and the way she embarrassed me at the ballet.

"I wonder if it's still upsetting her."

When I heard Brenda's name it reminded me of my dream. Suddenly I wasn't just miserable for losing Michael but asked myself whether I was responsible for what happened to Brenda, too. I told myself it was just a bad dream and nothing more but constantly worried about it as Monday came to a close. My mother noticed how edgy I was and questioned me during the drive home from school.

"Is there something you want to talk about? Maybe I can help," she offered.

I shook my head no. The more I thought about my dream and about Michael, the closer I came to understanding what he was. I knew I could never tell anyone about him and that I had to act more like myself. If I didn't, I would risk further questioning and the possibility of breaking down and confessing everything.

Being cheerful while filled with so much sorrow was next to impossible. Sad and exhausted, I hardly noticed Tuesday passing and by Wednesday night I had grown close to accepting there wasn't any hope left and I had lost Michael forever. After we read our story and my parents tucked me in I forced a happy smile and said goodnight. They turned out my light and set the shoe in my door.

"There must be something I can do!" my heart insisted as soon as they were gone. While I lay in bed fighting to keep my eyes open, my mind desperately sought a way to bring him back to me.

A little after midnight I found myself in that hazy restlessness between sleep and awake. I remembered the feeling I had when I first met Michael. I thought about the imperceptible thread I followed that brought me to where he was sitting near the fountain the day we met.

"Oh!" an idea forced me upright. I couldn't go to him but I wondered if there was a way to use the strange connection that brought me to Michael to make him come to me.

I cocked my head and listened. There weren't any noises coming from either the living room or my parent's room, so I was confident they were safely asleep. I hopped from my bed and removed the shoe from the door before closing it the rest of the way. I crawled back to bed and propped myself up on my pillow. It seemed instinctive and though I didn't know exactly what I was doing, I pictured myself and I pictured Michael and the little tendril that brought us together.

I imagined myself pulling on it and tried recreating the sensation I felt when I was drawn to Michael that day at the mall. I envisioned myself holding onto the connection and urging him towards me where I sat in my bed. At first it didn't seem like anything was happening and I worried that I was just being wishful and foolish. I considered giving up but then I had the impression the thread had become heavier or harder to gather up. My heart leapt with the first hint of happiness since the beginning acts of the ballet.

It seemed like an eternity passed and whatever I was doing, it took all my strength. I couldn't hold myself up any more and slumped over but then I heard the slider opening and the rustle of the blinds. Michael took two steps into my room and collapsed onto the floor. I tossed the covers, hopped down and gathered him into my arms.

"Michael," I whispered into his hair. "Oh, Michael, I'm so, so sorry." As I cradled him he wrapped his arms around my waist. He sobbed against me and didn't know what to do other than let him grieve. As we held one another my mind reluctantly admitted my dream must have been true and I felt Michael's guilt as if it was my own. "It's my fault," I mumbled. It all made sense to me and suddenly I realized why I was so important to him.

He slowly grew calmer and when I could ease myself a few inches away, I looked him over. Even in the dim light I noticed how disheveled he was. He hadn't changed for several days, or bothered with any other grooming. He looked ghastly; pale, hollow and unkempt with ominous circles under his eyes. His skin was icy cold and he held me with a restrained but fierce tension. It frightened me especially now that I was aware of how dangerous he could be but my fear wasn't as strong as my relief. I forced it into the back of my mind as I stroked his back and shoulders hoping to soothe him.

After an hour or more had passed, I became uncomfortable and needed to adjust myself to relieve the stiffness. It momentarily roused Michael from his stupor and he pulled me onto his lap with one hand and dragged us both towards the wall with the other. He rested his back against the wall, held me tightly and tucked my shoulder under his chin.

Throughout the night, I fell asleep once or twice only to twitch myself awake every time I realized I had drifted off. Whenever I woke up Michael just as he was, with his head resting on my shoulder and his arms wrapped around my waist. I wished he would say something and wondered what I could do to help him.

I turned and curled myself into his chest before dozing off again. This time I didn't wake up until morning. There was no sign of Michael as I looked around. The shoe was in the door and I was in my bed and part of me wondered if it had been a dream. I almost panicked when I sought for some sense of him and didn't feel an immediate response. He didn't say anything but after a few minutes it seemed like he had reached out and touched my cheek.

It was enough to satisfy me. I got out of bed and went to my bathroom before making my way to the kitchen. My dad must have been getting ready for work but my mom was there packing my lunch for school.

"Good morning, honey. You look like you're feeling better today."

"I am."

"Did you sleep well?" My father asked as he came into the kitchen and gave each of us a quick kiss.

"Uh, huh," I nodded. I hated lying but reuniting with Michael was worth far more than the twinge of guilt.

My mom finished putting my lunch bag together and turned her attention to my breakfast. She gave me a glass of orange juice "Would you bring this to the table for me?"

I placed it on my mat and went back to the kitchen for my breakfast. After she handed it to me my mom started a pot of coffee. She told me once it finished brewing, she would come sit with me to keep me company while I ate. I was very hungry and nearly devoured my entire breakfast before my mom came and sat across from me. "I see you've gotten your appetite back."

I smiled and nodded over a mouthful of scrambled eggs.

"Good, I'm glad you're better. Do you want to talk about what's been bothering you?"

I shrugged and polished off the rest of my breakfast. Thankfully my mother didn't press me to answer. When I finished eating, I brought my dirty dishes to the kitchen and placed them in the sink. My mom flashed a weak smile as I rounded the corner and made my way to my room so I could get ready for school. While I brushed my hair, she came and offered to help me. She studied me in the mirror and seemed to be searching for a little additional assurance that I really was better.

After getting ready my mother drove me to school and gave me a quick, "I love you," and, "have a good day," before she pulled from the carpool lane. I waved goodbye then headed into school.

The morning passed far too slowly. I kept worrying about Michael and hoping he was alright. I wondered if he would come see me again and daydreamed about his visit. It was very distracting and the teacher called on me more than once reminding me to pay attention during class.

She pulled me aside at lunchtime as we lined up to go to the cafeteria. "I know you haven't been feeling well, Elayna, but please try to stay focused."

"I will," I apologized.

After lunch, I listened extra intently to my lessons and did my best to avoid the temptation to think about Michael. The afternoon passed much faster than I imagined it would and before long I found myself standing in the carpool line waiting for my mom to pick me up. It was such a relief when she finally pulled in. I was anxious to be home and kept stifling yawns every half minute or so. It seemed like I might nod off at any moment.

"Rough day?" my mom asked as I piled into the car.

"I'm just a little sleepy."

"Maybe you should take a nap." Napping never appealed to me and I rolled my eyes at the suggestion. My mother caught my expression in the mirror and added with a touch of humor, "Well, it's up to you. I won't let you sleep very long. We wouldn't want you to be up all night."

As soon as I heard the words up all night, I changed my mind. Suddenly a nap seemed like a not so bad idea. I hoped I sounded reluctant and that her impression of "very long," was longer than not long enough.

"Okay, but only if you promise to wake me up."

When we got home, my mom suggested I get into my pajamas so I would be more comfortable and it would be easier to fall asleep. I changed then called her when I was ready to take my nap. She adjusted the blinds so the room became somewhat darkened while I crawled under the covers. I said goodnight.

"Good nap," my mother corrected. "I'll wake you in a little bit." She fixed the shoe and turned out the light.

I took a deep breath and as soon as I fell asleep I dreamt about Michael. He seemed to be resting somewhere, too. He lay haphazardly on top of a thick layer of covers spread over a massive bed in a darkened room. I noticed he still wore the clothes he had on when he visited me the previous night. As I approached the bed, his features became more and more distinct.

He still looked pale and haggard; the dark circles under his eyes only slightly diminished and his face bristling with coarse hairs. He had a bit of a scowl to his expression, like he was angry or frustrated. Despite his appearance, he still seemed dazzling to me. It broke my heart seeing him like that and I wished there was a way, something I might do to comfort him. I sat on the edge of the bed beside him and stroked his cheek the way my mother touched mine whenever I was down.

Some of the intensity in his expression softened and I almost discerned a smile. He sighed in his sleep and turned into my touch. For a moment I wished he would wake up and we would be friends again like we were before the ballet. I wanted to spend a night telling him stories or lounging on the roof counting shooting stars together. I would have done anything; it didn't really matter as long as it made Michael happy and I could be the cause of that happiness.

Someone called me from the doorway and I turned away from Michael. As I did, I opened my eyes and found myself in my own room with my mother standing in the hallway softly urging me to wake up.

"Oh, already?" I rubbed my eyes.

"Daddy's home and it's almost dinner, honey. I didn't mean to let you sleep so long but I lost track of the time."

My dad had just finished getting the table ready and was pouring drinks in the kitchen. "How are you feeling, sweetie?" He asked.

"Better. Tired."

"You must be. Mommy says you've been asleep ever since you got home from school."

"I know and I didn't even want to take a nap," I said with false defiance.

"Well, after dinner and your shower you can stay up for a little while. You'll wake up at the crack of dawn if you go to bed again so soon."

After dinner, my parents let me stay up until it was their bedtime. When their show ended, my dad motioned me off the couch, "Well, I guess you've been up long enough." He shooed me into my room and tucked me in. We skipped reading since it was so late. "Will you be able to fall asleep on your own?"

"I'll be alright," I assured them as they kissed me goodnight and set the door.

For a while I lay awake listening for any sounds they might still be up and kept my eyes on the slider praying Michael would come. I unwittingly fell asleep but fretfully woke up a few hours later. My blankets seemed to be holding me too tightly. I almost panicked when I tried sitting up but couldn't. Then I realized it was because Michael was beside me on top of the covers. He was unaware I had woken. He had his back against my headboard and his long legs stretched nearly to the end of my bed.

He stared straight ahead and looked lost in a world of thought. "Michael," I whispered to him.

He glanced down at me and a slight smile formed on his lips. He still looked scruffy but he had made a token effort to pull himself together. The clothes he wore were fresh anyway and that was an modest improvement.

I wasn't sure what to say as I wriggled myself free from my blankets. He lifted himself up to give them some slack and I managed to get myself upright. "Michael, I'm glad you came. I worried about you all day."

He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear as I looked at him but didn't say anything.

"I want us to be friends again," I couldn't think of anything more substantial to say.

He turned away and resumed staring into the empty space in front of him.

"Why did you come, then?"

He continued staring and didn't answer.

Several minutes passed, "Do you see this?" I pointed to a tiny hairline scar on my chin.

He turned and focused on it.

"I got it when I was about four. My mother and I were walking to the grocery store. We weren't planning on going anywhere that day so my dad drove the car to work rather than taking the train. It was wintertime and there was snow on the ground. Most days we stuck to the sidewalks that looped around the separate buildings and came out near the shopping center. When we were in a hurry, though, we cut through a thicket of trees that hemmed the development to make the trip much quicker. It was cold so my mother decided we should take the more direct route."

I stole a glance at Michael to see if he was listening and happily discovered he was watching me while I relayed my story.

"We came to a small hill as we made our way through the trees and I had a lot of trouble getting up it. My feet kept slipping in the snow and the wet leaves underneath. My mother bent down and picked me up to carry me over the little slope. After just a few steps she slipped in the snow and the leaves just like I had and we came crashing down together. She tried to protect me but somehow I banged my chin on a rock when we landed and I bit my lip, too."

My story interested Michael and it seemed like he was wondering about the point I wanted to make.

"It hurt so much and my lip and chin were bleeding. It really upset my mother and she seemed so scared. She put me on her back and as I cried and my blood trickled all over her, she ran me home like that. When we got there, she cleaned my chin and gave me some ice for my lip. We got changed and she took our bloody clothes and washed them right away. Then she gave me hot cocoa and let me sip it while I watched TV."

"I spilled a little of the cocoa on the coffee table so I went into the kitchen to ask for a towel. When I got there, I saw my mother standing in the corner by the sink and she was crying. She cried so hard it scared me and I wondered if she had gotten hurt, too. When I asked her where she had gotten hurt she said, "Here," and pointed to her chest."

Michael looked moved by my story.

"She wasn't crying because she got hurt but because she believed she had hurt me; that it was her fault we slipped and fell and I cut my chin and bit my lip. She took all the responsibility for what happened and I knew it wasn't right."

"Michael, it's not right for you either," I took his hand. "It was a mistake, everything, that whole night, it was a mistake."

Without warning he reached for me and crushed me against him, "I'm sorry, Elayna! I'm so, so sorry," he moaned, his voice sounding hoarse and muffled by my hair. He opened up to me and it overjoyed me when I realized we were sharing our strange connection again, that phantom of Michael in my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, too, Michael!" I said, my voice full of happiness for getting through to him.

"Promise me you will help me stay strong. Promise you won't leave me again."

"I promise, Michael."

Once we composed ourselves, he let me go and tucked me into bed, "You should get some sleep."

"Goodnight, Michael," I hugged him tightly goodbye.

"Goodnight, Elayna," he placed a bristly kiss on my cheek.

We never talked about that night again but afterwards Michael and I grew much closer. He visited me as often as he could and each time he came he seemed more like himself again. I looked forward to seeing him and often lay awake hoping to catch him the moment he arrived.

Sometimes if the weather wasn't too unbearable, Michael would bundle me into his coat. We would take a late-night stroll and talk about each of our days. He ended up choosing my dad's firm for obvious reasons and told me he hoped it would bring some recognition to my father and he would get promoted. Other nights if I was too tired to venture out I would take my pillow and blanket from my bed and spread them on the floor. Michael would lie beside me and hold my hand while I slept. In the morning, I would wake up in my bed with the shoe in the door and no sign he had ever been there.

There were a few nights I slept too soundly and didn't hear him come in. Michael would let me rest and instead of waking me leave a little something to show he had come by. Sometimes I found little flowers or some other souvenir like a coin he came across from a faraway country. Once he left a jar with flickering lights that looked just like fireflies. I kept it tucked in my closet so my parents wouldn't question me about it. On the nights I didn't expect Michael, I would pull it out and watch them dance while I fell asleep.

Eventually the late nights became too much for me. Michael seemed to realize it and reluctantly accepted it wouldn't be possible for me to continue that way. He curbed his visits but always seemed to be with me somehow.

One night he came early and we slipped out to walk and talk in the crisp night air. It was still wintertime, so we didn't stay out long. I kept thinking he was keeping something from me and when we got inside, he told me he would need to go away soon. I bit back my tears when he left that night but the dread of whether I would ever see him again made my heart ache.

A handful of sleepless nights passed before Michael came to say goodbye. I was sound asleep and he tried more than once to rouse me. He stood beside my bed and tickled my ear, "Elayna," his voice whispered. "Elayna, wake up," he gently insisted.

"I'm so glad you came," I said as I dragged myself from sleep. I thought you'd already left!"

Michael helped me with my pillow, "I wouldn't have gone without saying goodbye." He looked away and sighed before sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"Oh," I said, "what is it?" I reached over and took his hand.

"I can't keep anything from you, can I?"

"You could but I would know you were hiding something. It would hurt my feelings and make me worry if you had a secret you wouldn't share."

He looked sad but whatever was bothering him it seemed like something unrelated to us.

"There are some things I just can't share," he stated.

"I know but..." I didn't have the words to explain that I understood the difference between his private secrets and the ones we shared.

He kissed my fingers, "I know you understand," he said deciphering my thought. "It's time for me to go away for a little while."

A flood of tears filled my eyes.

He sighed again, "I think you need me to go, too."

I held back the swell of emotion as he explained himself to me; all the reasons he should go. They were so simplistic and logical. I couldn't find any reasons to object. He didn't tell me the full truth but it was just enough.

"Are you sure, Michael? Are you strong enough?" It was the only question I could think of that might give him some doubt.

"I'm sure."

I gathered up my courage. "Will you be gone very long?"

"It's hard to say. There's something I would like to do and it may take a long time; days at least, maybe even months."

I gasped at the idea after being so close night after night. "Months," I shook my head in disbelief.

"I will help you, if you'll let me."

I understood what he was suggesting and my first reaction was a downright refusal. I didn't want to lose my memories again but the prospect of missing Michael night after night for months on end was heart-wrenching. He finally convinced me when he told me he wished he could do the same for himself.

"I will think about you every day and miss you every night. You will be a constant in all my thoughts and I will be miserable without you. I don't want that for you. I want you to be happy so I can be happy through you."

"Will you still be with me, Michael? Will I know you're there?"

"I'll be with you but no, you will not know I am there."

I took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay, I'll let you help me but I want you to promise to come back if you're not feeling strong."

"I will," he promised.

## Chapter 7

A few weeks before my 9th birthday we sold our apartment and bought a new home. The day the movers came and packed up our belongings was bright and sunny. While they were busy loading the truck, I sat on the sidewalk with my friend Erica and we said our final goodbyes. My parents called me over once the movers secured everything and I climbed into the back of our car. We followed the moving van as it pulled out and I frantically waved to Erica until she disappeared from view. During the ride, I thought about our old apartment and how much I would miss my life there. It was really exciting, though, moving into house.

Michael was the one who recommended the neighborhood to my parents. He was out of town but he and my dad had been working together for a few months. When he learned they were looking for a new home, he put them in touch with a realtor friend of his who had listings in the area. My parents ending up buying the very first house they were shown.

Like many of the other nearby homes ours was traditional in style and built in a small alcove that had been cut into the surrounding forest to give the residents a sense of privacy. The subdivision was set back from the main road and only a few miles from the interstate making it an easy commute for my dad.

The ride from our apartment lasted about a half hour and went by quickly. When we pulled into the driveway, I noticed the movers weren't wasting any time and had already begun unloading our furniture. The front door stood open, so I hurried inside and did a quick scan of the main floor before running upstairs to inspect my bedroom.

It was much bigger than my old room and painted in a light, buttery yellow. Instead of a slider like my old bedroom there were two French doors leading onto a tiny patio. The closet was on the left as you walked in and the bathroom the right. All the furniture was new since I had grown out of my old things so I walked around and tentatively tested my dresser drawers and ran my fingers over my bedspread then plumped the pillows.

"Perfect," I smiled when I finished my inspection.

I scampered back downstairs to take a closer look at some of the other rooms. My parents were busy directing the movers where they wanted certain things placed. My dad saw me as I dodged out of their way. After a deep breath he suggested I go outside and do a little exploring until things were a little less chaotic.

"Why don't you take a look at the backyard or walk in the woods for a bit. Just don't go too far. You should be alright as long as you can see the house."

I shrugged and followed his advice. After heading out the front door I made my way across the yard to the back of the house. The woods bordered the lawn in a wide arch from one side of the property to the other. I started near the garage and stepped a few feet into the trees. From there I walked the length of the backyard before I moved a few more feet in and looped back. I did this several times - moved a little further into the trees, looped, a little further.

It seemed nice in the woods; cool and fresh and utterly quiet except for the sound of my footsteps. There were quite a few broken limbs lying on the ground as well as a heavy covering of old leaves. It smelled earthy and damp as I got further in and grew slightly darker with every step. The trees made a thick canopy that blocked out much of the sunlight. While I walked, I wondered if I might be able to glimpse one of our neighbor's houses. The woods seemed a lot bigger than I imagined they would be, though, and the only thing I saw was more trees.

After a few more steps I stopped and looked back. I could still make out our house but decided not to go any further and started back. I came out at a different point than where I went in and noticed an aging swing set tucked into the corner of the yard. To the left of the swings lay a little flower bed that seemed made up mostly of wildflowers. One of the blooms caught my eye. I walked over and snapped a bud off its stalk then took the flower with me as I made my way into the house.

"Hey, sweetie, what have you got there?" my mom asked.

"It's a tiger lily, I think."

"It certainly is. Did you pick it for me?"

"Oh," I paused somewhat reluctant to give it away, "yes, it's for you!" I smiled and handed her the flower.

"Thank you so much; I'll get a vase with some water and you can put it on the dining room table to cheer us through dinner."

I glanced around while I waited for my mom. The movers had gotten almost everything into our new house and the rooms looked familiar. It seemed like my parents had arranged everything as close to our old apartment as possible so the change wouldn't seem so drastic. I could almost picture it as home now that so many of our old belongings were in place.

My mother came back after putting the flower in a long, thin vase and handed it to me, "Here you are, sweetie."

I took the vase from her and brought it to the dining room. I couldn't decide what to do after centering it on the table so I tracked my dad down. He was busy arranging furniture and didn't notice me. I stood there restless and bored and even a little guilty while I watched him work. After a moment, he called to my mother asking her to come give him a hand. She said she was putting stuff away in the kitchen cabinets but would be right there.

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked when she appeared.

"Hmm," she paused for a moment. "The movers put a few of your boxes in your room. Why don't you try finding a place for some of your things?"

"Okay," I grumbled, not thrilled with the suggestion but happy to have something to pass the time.

I trudged upstairs and made my way to the stack of the boxes marked with my name. The first one I opened held my books. I skimmed over the titles and placed them on the bookshelf one by one. It didn't take long to empty the box and start on the next. Though I worked steadily the time seemed to be passing far too slowly. After I finished with the last of my boxes, I wondered about dinner and how much longer it would be before my mom called me down to eat. I sighed and just as I looked around to see if there was anything I missed she came to my doorway.

"I think we need a break," she said. "Daddy suggested we go out for pizza, what do you say?"

"That's a great idea!"

"Good! Let's go," she smiled and cocked her head at me to follow.

We hurried down the stairs and found my father waiting by the front door. He looked anxious and more than ready to take part in anything that wasn't related to moving. Once we were on our way, my parents smiled at one another and seemed to relax. I knew they had been working hard and it made me glad we were going out and they would have a chance to take it easy for a little while. The whole house buying and moving process had disconnected us and I hoped things would hurry and get back to normal.

It was only a short drive to the local pizza shop and it wasn't very busy when we got there. After we placed our order, we sat quietly no one really knowing quite where to begin a conversation. When our drinks arrived, my dad brightened and glanced at my mother, "Not sure if I mentioned it or not yet but Mr. Donovan will be back soon."

"Oh, well, that's good! You'll finally have a chance to work face to face," my mother chuckled.

"Strange, I hadn't thought about it until now but you're right. He's been out of town ever since he moved his accounts. Hmm," he wondered out loud.

"I'm sure he'll be busy once he's back but how would you feel about inviting him to dinner one night. We really should thank him for his advice and help with the realtor."

"That's a good idea. I'll make sure I mention it to Michael the next time we talk." He assured her as our pizza arrived. He leaned back so the server could arrange it for us.

"Michael," I said the name softly and smiled to myself.

"Did you say something, sweetie?" my mother asked.

"Huh?" I shook my head in confusion. "No. I don't think so. Did I?" I wondered. "I guess I'm just happy to be here."

"Us, too!" my mom turned to my dad and caressed the back of his hand. He readily agreed.

We took our time eating. Now that they'd had a few minutes to unwind and reflect my parents found plenty of other things they wanted to talk about. When we finished our dinner and paid the check, my dad brought us home. My mother told me it was later than she imagined and I should get ready for bed.

I hurried through my nighttime routine and crawled beneath the sheets. Being alone in my new room made me a little uneasy and I wasn't sure I'd be able to fall asleep. After a few minutes, I wandered back downstairs and asked my mother if she would come sit with me a while.

She seemed to understand, "Of course, sweetie," she replied.

I led the way upstairs and she tucked me in.

"Would you like me to read a story?"

"No, not tonight. Just keep me company until I'm sleepy."

She smiled and sat on the edge of the bed then took my hand. I smiled and whispered "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, sweetheart."

It took a few more days for my parents to get the house in order. My dad had to go back to work on Monday and I went back to school so my mom ended up doing most of it herself. She said she didn't mind and that it was easier to get things done when no one else was around. By Wednesday she had found a place for whatever remained of our belongings and made a few final adjustments to the furniture.

Once we settled into our new house, my parents began encouraging me to go to bed without having one of them come tuck me in. Just thinking about it made me uncomfortable but they said I was getting older and sooner or later I would have to get used to the idea. The Thursday before my birthday I decided I should give it a try. I was nervous but kept telling myself that I was about to turn 9 years old and it sounded very grown up. Besides, I didn't want to disappoint my parents. They looked surprised when I came down and said goodnight then turned away without asking one of them to come with me.

When I got to my room, I went straight to the closet and turned the light on. Afterwards I adjusted the door so it would be bright enough to make out everything in my room and slipped beneath the covers.

I hoped I would fall asleep quickly but knew the harder I tried the longer it would take. In order not to worry so much, I kept my mind busy. I imagined what my party would be like and who would be there. I wondered what kinds of gifts my parents would give me and whether my mom would make me breakfast in bed. If she didn't I hoped she would put something special in my lunch bag instead. As I considered those ideas and thought about cake and ice cream, I finally fell asleep.

Hours later I woke up smiling and trembling with excitement. Someone lifted me up and held me just a little too tightly.

"Michael," I buried my face in his neck, "you've come back!" I answered his hug with an enthusiastic one of my own.

"Oh, I've missed you," he whispered into my hair.

I wasn't sure what to say; he had kept himself out of my thoughts for so long. My memories rippled across my mind like they always did whenever we had a sudden reunion. The spectrum of emotions overwhelmed me.

"Happy Birthday," he said.

"It's not until tomorrow," I corrected.

"Ah, but it is tomorrow," he smiled against my cheek. "It's after midnight."

I pulled back and looked him in the eye, "Is that why you came?"

"Of course, it is!"

I asked him to put me down, "I need to see you," I said. When he did, I crossed the room to my closet and opened the door to let some extra light in. I whirled around to face him and immediately realized how much better he looked; happier than I ever remembered seeing him.

"I'm so glad," I said. Somehow, I knew he had been strong and hoped I was the reason.

"You are," he assured me, intercepting my thought.

I suddenly remembered my father telling my mother why Michael had been out of town over the past few months. Michael's father had passed away. He left to be with his mother to keep her company until she was comfortable being on her own.

"Did your dad really die?"

Michael closed his eyes and nodded a slight yes.

"I'm so sorry, Michael."

"Thank you," he said and sighed. "We weren't that close, though. I only went for my mother and to make sure she was well. I wanted to help her as best I could while she needed me."

"How is she?"

"She's doing much better now." Michael paused briefly, "I told her about you."

"You did?" I asked full of surprise.

He smiled so intensely I felt his happiness like it was my own and smiled back. "She knew I haven't always been the nicest of people since..." Michael paused and searched for the appropriate phrasing for what he wanted to say. "Since before I met you. I needed to tell her so she would understand I had changed and why."

The idea of being so influential thrilled me.

He looked around my room. "Do you like it?"

"Oh! I love it!"

"It's a big change, isn't it?" I smiled and nodded my agreement. Michael grinned back then his expression suddenly changed. His eyes flashed, "Get dressed," he said and the way he said it convinced me he had something special in store.

"Really?"

"Really!"

He looked so confident and carefree it would have been impossible to resist. I walked into my closet and closed the door. I changed from my pajamas into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"Grab a sweater, too," he gently called.

When I finished getting ready, he scooped me up and within half a moment we were outside and across the lawn, down the driveway and beside the main road. He put me down and while I wondered what his plans were, I glimpsed a motorcycle parked off to the right of where we stood. I had never been on a motorcycle and it made me very uneasy when I realized it was his.

I bit my lip while I looked it over. It seemed like it belonged on a race track rather than cruising around town.

"Trust me," Michael tucked my hair behind my ears and slipped a helmet over my head. He buckled the chin strap and slid the visor down over my eyes. The lens was clear and even though it was nighttime I could see fairly well.

He performed the same routine on himself then straddled the bike and had me climb up behind him. He positioned my feet on the tiny platforms and told me to hold tight. Once I got settled, he started the motorcycle and eased it onto the pavement. A moment later we rode off into the night.

At first, he kept a safe, moderate pace and even though I had absolute faith in Michael, I was still apprehensive. I pressed myself as tightly as possible against his back while the wind tangled my hair wherever it escaped from beneath the helmet. The trees and street lamps zipped past and despite my fear and how wrong it was for me to be out my heart soared. After a few minutes, we reached the interchange for the highway and Michael eased the bike through the sharp corners of the on ramp. By then I had completely abandoned my guilt and my thoughts were full of the fun I was having.

It seemed incredibly exhilarating, sitting in the open air while we travelled so fast. He picked up the pace and leaned lower and lower into the final corner of the on ramp. His knee almost touched the ground as we whipped through the turn. Once we were on the interstate Michael quickly shifted through the gears, urging the bike faster and faster. It felt like we were flying, like we had lifted off and the Earth was far below us. I looked down to make sure the pavement was still there. When I did I noticed the dotted line that divided the highway no longer passed by at even intervals. We were going so fast it looked like a single, solid line streaking along beside us.

I had never experienced such a thrill. The ride terrified and elated me at the same time. My mind was spinning from the rush of adrenaline and my heart pounded with the combination of fear and joy. After a few minutes, Michael slowed the motorcycle down and we exited the highway. We turned left and left again to head back onto the interstate but in the opposite direction. It disappointed me once I realized we were heading home.

Michael took his time on the way back and a strange serenity settled over me as he relaxed our pace. It was peaceful being out at such a late hour. There wasn't any traffic, so it seemed like we were the only two people in the world. I squeezed Michael to show him how contented I was and after I did, he laid his hand on my knee. He left it there for the rest of our ride and I knew he did it to show me he felt the same.

When we got home, he parked the bike along the main road and took my hand. We walked toward the house in silence. I was too breathless to speak and Michael seemed lost in his own thoughts as well.

Once we were in my room, I slipped into my closet and quickly changed into my pajamas again. I put my jeans and t-shirt away and hung up my sweater so no one would notice I had used them. Michael was sitting on my bed when I finished. He patted the pillow signaling me I needed to get back to bed.

I crawled up beside him. As I sat on my knees and looked him over I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck, "Thank you for tonight," I whispered.

"Thank you, Elayna. I had just as much fun as you had!"

Then he shook his head and his smile faded. He looked as if he had something important he wanted to say.

"What is it Michael?"

He took a deep breath, "After the ballet," he turned away and whatever he planned to say died on his lips. He seemed to be gathering his thoughts and searching for the right words, "I need you, Elayna. You've done something to me. Having you helps me... you remind me to stay strong."

"I know that. I will always be here for you," I said the words softly.

Michael looked grave, "I'm afraid for you, though."

"Afraid, Michael, but why? I'm never afraid when I'm with you."

He chuckled, "Yes, you are very brave," he caressed my hair. "I'm afraid that I am putting my needs ahead of yours. I'm afraid that if we continue to be friends, you will never be free of me. You will never be free to live and grow and love the way you should."

"Oh, but I am growing, Michael! I'm 9 years old already and next year I'll be 10 and, and..." I knew what I was trying to say was not the type of growing Michael was referring to and couldn't finish the thought. "Please, Michael, you're not going to take my memories again, are you?"

"I haven't decided, Elayna. I know that I should; that you should forget me and I should forget you."

Panic crept into my eyes and I wanted to scream "No, you can't, I won't let you!" but the words never came out. Instead I took his hand and asked, "Does it have to be so soon, Michael? Can't we be friends for a little while longer?"

"Can you be strong, Elayna? If we stay friends can you be strong when the time comes for me to leave you again?"

"Yes, Michael, I can," I answered with absolute surety.

He didn't look convinced but he drew me close and kissed my forehead, anyway. "We will be friends, then, for as long as we possibly can. Just remember your promise when the time comes."

"I will."

He tucked me in and took my hand. He placed a feathery kiss on my knuckles and disappeared into the night.

## Chapter 8

Either Michael forgot or he never had the courage to hold me to my promise. Over the next three years he visited whenever he could and we would find some happy way to spend a few hours of the night together. As each evening drew to a close, I dreaded the moment we would say goodbye, imagining that before he hurried away, he would tell me it was time to leave me again. My heart would pound with agony as I waited for the words but surprisingly they never came.

Michael may not have had the strength to let me go but Victor and his thirst for vengeance had no such scruples. The night he confronted Michael determined to know how and why he retained such a profound degree of his humanity was utterly surreal.

I woke up full of apprehension and fear. I heard Michael's voice or maybe it was Victor's. It was nearly impossible to distinguish one from the other. I crept down the stairs and at first I thought it was Michael looming over my parents. I cried out in disbelief and it wasn't until I saw Victor's eyes that I realized my mistake. They held an immeasurable degree of cruelty. They bore through my thoughts and found the answers to all the questions Michael and my parents refused to answer. I couldn't keep him out! When I looked at Victor, my mind saw Michael and it refused to break the vow I made never to leave him again; to let him always be a part of me and my life.

I hardly remember what happened next. One moment I was kneeling beside my mother and father praying Victor would spare them, the next I was a thousand miles away. Confused and heartbroken I helplessly followed Michael and drifted through each of the things he asked me to do without question and without any explanation why.

Everything that happened after Victor took the lives of my parents until the moment I stepped out of Margaret's shower seemed like a dream. My memories were hazy and distorted but as soon as I saw her I sensed the truth. I flopped down on the edge of her bed and a few seconds later Michael came in. He sent Margaret away then opened up and confessed everything to me. He did his best to comfort me after he finished sharing the truth but it was too terrible to imagine! When he told me what happened to my family, we both realized our time together had come to an end.

I cried a storm of tears mourning the loss of my parents. I begged Michael to make forget and to stay with me, to keep me safe from the many horrors I suddenly had to face. He shook with grief, knowing it could never be the way we wanted it to be. He carefully avoided a definitive response to any of my demands. Eventually the sun went down and the room grew dark. Not long afterwards Margaret came to check on us.

"I made dinner for you," her voice was full of all the things she wanted to but couldn't say.

Michael smiled halfheartedly and helped me to my feet. "Maybe we'd better clean ourselves up first."

"Maybe you're right," I sniffled as I stepped back and turned to make my way to the bathroom.

"Elayna," he reached for my hand and held it tight as he squatted down. He looked into my eyes and spoke with the utmost sincerity. "I know I can never make up for this but I promise, I will do everything I can to give you a good life." As he said it, Michael sorted through my memories and tucked the worst of them into the farthest reaches of my mind.

I had a million questions but they suddenly seemed unimportant and I stood there too disoriented to ask them. My lips trembled into a smile and I pulled my eyes away from his gaze. I leaned down and gave him the lightest of kisses before heading to the bathroom to wash the tear stains from my cheeks.

After I freshened up Michael brought me down to the kitchen where I picked away at the dinner Margaret had made for me. I was too weak and weary with my emotional burdens to enjoy any of it and only managed a few bites between yawns.

"Maybe you should get some rest," Michael sighed.

He helped me upstairs and made sure I was comfortable and had everything I needed before he left. Sleep brought me a temporary respite from every terrible revelation. Surprisingly I slept soundly and woke late. I missed the conversation Michael and Margaret had in the kitchen the next morning.

"Mother, listen, this is the only way," he insisted.

"Are you mad? You're mad Michael! We can't keep her. I can't keep her. Absolutely not!!"

"You can and you will. I promised Elayna I would give her a good life. The best way for me to keep that promise is for her to stay here with you."

"People will be looking for her; the police, her family, their friends."

"We are more than a thousand miles away from where they'll be looking. She'll be perfectly safe here."

"Someone might recognize her."

Michael sat back and closed his eyes for a moment then regretfully said; "I'm not so sure anyone will be able to make the distinction any more. You were right when you said she is changed. It's as though... it's as if," he turned and faced Margaret while his mind searched for the right way to express his thoughts.

"As if she has been perfected her. That's what I thought of you the first time I saw you, Michael. It's not quite the same with Elayna but yes, there is something... something about her."

"Perfected," he whispered and reflected on the idea for a moment before turning back to Margaret. "Mother, if there was any other way, I would choose it. The last thing I want is to involve you in this." He was silent for a moment, a slight tremble in his lips. "You don't know... you can't imagine what it's like for me without her," his jaw tightened. "I need you to do this for me. Please," he implored. "I need Elayna to be safe and happy. I need her in my life. She has done something to me, somehow, she is..." Michael's face flushed livid with shame and he couldn't finish the thought.

"A part of you," Margaret whispered.

"Yes," Michael's voice was full of contrition, "yes," he sighed. Then softly, "she is my conscience, she has been ever since I met her," he said.

"You shouldn't have asked that of her. She's just a little girl, Michael. You can't continue to take that from her. You've taken enough already!" Margaret's lips pursed when she realized what she said and its multiple meanings.

Michael buried his face in his hands, "I never forced this responsibility on Elayna, it just happened. There was no choice or if there was it was hers. She has always known... or suspected... something."

"Why didn't you resist? You should have made the choice. She couldn't have known what she was doing - what it would mean!"

"I didn't know either, damn it! Do you honestly believe I would have kept her in my life if I had known what would happen?"

Margaret was visibly shaken and on the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry," Michael said, "I'm sorry for everything and I am trying to find the best way to make it right. Victor, he must still be alive," he closed his eyes briefly and concentrated. "I'm sure he's still alive. He would never guess I confided in you. He has no idea we've reconciled. This is the last place he would look for her. This is the safest place for her to be right now." He sat quietly for a moment then suddenly his expression darkened and he turned his gaze back to Margaret, "I could make you do this."

"I will pretend you didn't say that." After a minute of silent contemplation, she took a deep breath. "I will take care of the girl since she means so much to you but you must promise me something in return."

"Anything."

"You need to leave, Michael. You can't stay here with us; with her."

His brows crinkled while he considered Margaret's condition and the minutes ticked by, "You're right, Mother. I will go. I'll get everything she'll need in order; a birth certificate, school transcripts and whatever else you might need. If you think of anything, write it down and I'll see to it."

"I'm sorry, Michael, but it's for the best."

"What's for the best?" I asked as I came into the kitchen. I glanced from one to the other but neither had the heart to answer.

Margaret studied me while I stood waiting for one of them to reply. She appeared to be composing her thoughts. She took a moment to convince herself that Michael was right and I would be safe there; safe from discovery and safe from my past, safe from Victor. In her heart, she wanted to trust that Michael's solution was the best solution. He seemed to be holding his breath and straining not to overreact to whatever she might say.

Margaret's face reluctantly crept into a bright smile, "A day of shopping, just you and me," she said. She glanced at Michael and his expression softened. He looked relieved and satisfied and a touch remorseful.

I pictured myself through their eyes standing there in my cuffed sleeves and rolled up pants and nodded my agreement. "That would be nice," I said and turned toward Michael. "Good morning," I kissed his cheek and laid my head on his shoulder.

He put his arm around my waist and hugged me back. Everything seemed to still and calm. I forgot all my troubles for a moment and sighed contentedly.

We lingered a little too long and Margaret tactfully interrupted us, "Did you sleep well, Elayna? Are you hungry? I'll make you some breakfast," as we pulled apart she started lining things up on the island. "Do you like omelets?"

"Uh, I'm not sure."

Michael stood up and cleared his throat, "Well, it looks like you've got a busy day ahead. I guess this would be a good time to take care of my own errands." He seemed uncomfortable as he flexed his legs and stepped away from us. I watched him leave and wondered if I had missed something important and if the two of them were keeping it from me. I tried not to worry and shook the thought away.

While she fixed me breakfast, Margaret was warm and talkative. Luckily, most of what she said didn't require a response and I didn't have to join the conversation with much more than a yes or no. Though I wasn't as desolate as I had been the previous day I wasn't ready to open myself up especially to someone new.

Watching her work and listening to her talk was comforting. It distracted me from the other things I'd been feeling. I didn't fully understand it but I had a sense of disappointment I just couldn't place. If I considered it well enough I might have realized that Michael was somehow holding my emotions in check and preventing me from thinking about my parents. I knew they were gone but it seemed like we were just apart; as if they were travelling on vacation or something. I knew I would never see them again but I wasn't able to focus or dwell on the fact. I also understood there was a reason I couldn't go home. Every time I confronted any of those ideas, though, a new one would come to the surface of my mind and it would make me forget whatever I had been thinking about.

"Here you are," Margaret smiled as she handed me a plate.

"It looks delicious. Thank you," I smiled back.

She went to the island and methodically cleared away the small mess she had made. "So, there's a big mall not far from here. Do you have a favorite store?"

I shrugged. Though I wasn't certain, I had the impression my wardrobe never consisted of much more than jeans, t-shirts and sneakers.

"Hmm, well I'm sure we'll find plenty of things you'll like," she reached over and tugged at my roughly rolled sleeve, "and that will fit," she chuckled. A moment later her voice grew serious, "Elayna?"

I sensed some impending doom coming, "Yes, Margaret?"

"Elayna, Michael and I have been talking but before I tell you what he would like, I have to ask you something. Do you have any family; family you can go to? Someone you trust and that will take good care of you."

The possibility of leaving Michael horrified me. "Oh, Margaret, no, no! Please don't send me away!"

My fear turned out to be unfounded, though. As soon as I got over my initial reaction and considered the question, I realized I couldn't remember any of my relatives. I wasn't even sure whether I had any. I did my best to call someone to mind but as I gazed at Margaret all I discovered was a strange, sympathetic understanding shimmering in her eyes.

Margaret seemed hesitant but asked her next question despite her reservations, "Michael suggested you stay here with me. How would you feel about that?"

I noticed she didn't say here with me and Michael but I was sure that's what she meant. "Oh, that would be wonderful!" I beamed.

She caressed my shoulder, "I'll let Michael know. Why don't you run upstairs and do whatever you need to do and then we'll head out?"

I thanked her wholeheartedly and ran upstairs to get ready. Afterwards, I rushed back down to the kitchen hoping to see Michael before we left. Margaret was the only one there, though.

"All set?" she asked.

"Can I say goodbye to Michael, first?"

"Oh, Michael's gone out. He had a few things he needed to take care of. He wanted me to let you know he'll be back tonight. Come," she motioned me down the hallway. "I can't wait to get you out of those sacks you're wearing!" her voice was full of enthusiasm.

Her car was in the driveway and as Margaret settled into the driver's seat I plopped down into the passenger's. The first few minutes of our ride were quiet and strained. She glanced over once or twice and seemed to be considering ways to begin a conversation.

"What kinds of music do you like, Elayna?"

"Oh, all kinds I guess. I've never really thought about it."

Margaret waited a minute to see if I would add anything more. When I didn't she put on a classical station and turned the volume down low. "Would you mind if we talked a little and got to know one another?"

The notion made me nervous and I hesitated before I replied. "Okay."

"Would you like to go first?"

I didn't quite understand what she meant and sat staring blankly at the road ahead of us.

"Do you have any questions you would like to ask me?" she elaborated.

"Oh," I said when I realized what she was suggesting. "How old is Michael?" It was the first thing that came to my mind.

"Michael is 26, but why don't we focus on you and me?" my face fell a little. I nodded and looked away while my mind sought for a topic. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" she asked when I didn't venture anything.

"I..." I opened my mouth and tried coming up with an answer, "I'm not sure," I closed my eyes hoping it would help me picture my family. "I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time remembering," I shook my head regretfully.

Margaret looked disappointed but after a few seconds she asked another question, "Do you remember how old are you, Elayna?"

"Oh, yes! I'm 12. I'll be 13 in May. How old are you?"

She narrowed her eyes and grinned, "Old enough to rather not say. Do you have any friends?" She changed the subject.

"Michael," I said, "and, and," I couldn't think of anyone else. "I'm sorry Margaret," I looked helplessly away and choked back a few tears, "I don't remember."

"It's alright, dear. You've been through a lot." It sounded like an apology. "Maybe we should just talk and hope the rest will follow."

I rattled my brain for something to say that wouldn't somehow be about Michael, "I really liked the omelet this morning and, oh, the bread you made the other day!"

"Did you?" Margaret's demeanor changed as if I had flipped a switch. She brightened and told me how much she loved cooking and that for as long as she could remember the kitchen had been her favorite place. Her mother liked cooking, too, and made volumes of her own cookbooks from recipes she had gathered from friends and neighbors, relatives and strangers alike. Margaret kept them after her mother passed away and over the years typed them up. She had the collection formatted and archived on her computer and hoped to share them with future generations someday.

Everything she said roused my curiosity and I found it quite interesting. She mentioned some of her favorite foods and asked me which were mine.

"I love all kinds of foods, especially desserts," I flashed a huge grin at her. "I think my mother cooked a lot." My voice quivered as a happy memory grazed the surface of my mind, "she used to make something called Chicken Saltimbocca that I really liked. Oh," my eyes lit up, "and in the winter, she would make different types of soups and stews. Whenever she did, we would have it two nights in a row. I remember her saying how much better it was on the second night because the flavors had gotten married."

Margaret chuckled, "I can teach you how to cook sometime, if you'd like to learn."

"Really?"

"Really."

I started to love Margaret a little then and knew I would be happy living with her and Michael. We talked about a few other things we liked and after several more minutes passed she eased us into parking space and exclaimed, "Here we are."

We ended up spending the whole morning shopping. I hesitated at first but Margaret told me that Michael insisted she buy me whatever I wanted and thought I might need. She took me to at least a dozen different stores and had me pick out casual pants and jeans, t-shirts, polo shirts, oxfords and sweaters. She said there might be a need to dress up from time to time as well and encouraged me to pick out an array of dresses, skirts and shoes to match them all.

Amazingly she never balked at any of the totals we racked up and never disapproved of anything I ended up selecting to buy. It seemed frivolous and oddly gratifying having such a license to choose but after a while I started feeling guilty. I tapered my enthusiasm and asked Margaret if she planned on getting anything for herself.

"I might try on a thing or two," she replied.

By midday we had walked the length and breadth of the mall several times. It wore us out and after one last pass Margaret decided we'd done enough. We were both hungry but she insisted we would be better off eating at home.

"We do deserve a little reward for all our hard work, though," she said and held up the bags she was carrying in emphasis. She suggested we get a cappuccino and hot cocoa from the café in the food court to tide us over until we got home. After we finished sipping our drinks, we wandered back to the car with our multitudinous load.

"Thank you, Margaret. I don't think I've ever had more fun shopping than I've had with you today." I couldn't wait to get home and show Michael everything we bought.

When we got there, though, the only sign of him was a pile of official-looking papers he had left on the kitchen island. Margaret rifled through them while I made a few trips upstairs with my bags. As I lined them up in front of the closet, it seemed like all the joy had gotten sucked out of what I thought was a most satisfying day. My heart was bent on seeing Michael and I imagined myself glowing in his approvals as I tried on my various new outfits. I flopped down on the bed utterly disappointed.

Several minutes later Margaret called me down to our late lunch. I composed myself so she wouldn't notice how disappointed and downtrodden I was. There still wasn't any sign of Michael when I entered the kitchen. I sat at the table and while we ate Margaret offered up a few new topics. My earlier enthusiasm had disappeared, though. I felt distant and light-headed and found it hard to follow whatever Margaret talked about.

My sorrow seemed to be catching up with me and weighing me down as I picked at my plate. After lunch Margaret got up and stacked our dishes. I offered to help but when I pushed my chair back the room wavered in front of my eyes. I wished Michael was there and while I steadied myself I wondered when he would be back. Everything seemed so harsh all of a sudden and I wanted the comfort of having him near. Margaret looked at me full of concern as I shook my head to clear it.

"Oh, dear!" she exclaimed. "What's wrong?"

"I...I'm not feeling very well."

"Maybe you're just worn out from shopping. Why don't you go lie down for a few minutes?"

I took her advice and made my way toward the stairs. As I walked, my head kept swimming with the ghosts of memories I couldn't fully imagine. I felt desperately alone and my heart seemed so heavy! After dragging myself to the bedroom I curled up beneath the covers. I didn't remember falling asleep so it must have been sudden. Margaret checked on me an hour later and saw I was resting soundly. She decided not to wake me and closed my door before quietly slipping away.

The hours ticked by and it was well into the night when I noticed something tickling my face. I wrinkled my nose and stretched myself awake. Whatever it was, it was bouncing around on my bed, back and forth it flopped from the foot of the bed to where I pulled myself upright. I heard the closet door open and the click of the light switch. It was too bright for my eyes at first but the door closed to a crack. It left just enough of a glow for me to see what had woken me up.

"A puppy!!"

Michael was standing at the foot of the bed, "Not so loud, you'll wake Margaret." His expression was outright joy and I mirrored the emotion as I lunged for him and crushed him with my appreciation.

"She needs a name."

She needs a name; I didn't even have to think!

"Michaela, her name is Michaela but we will call her Kaley," I added imagining that Margaret might not approve otherwise.

"Kaley, I like that," he smiled knowingly. "Well, Kaley is an Irish Wolfhound. Do you know what those are?"

"A Wolfhound," I said, "that sounds vicious."

"She is vicious but not to you. In a year, she will be the size of a horse," I rolled my eyes at him. "Well, a small horse; a pony, anyway. She was bred to protect kings."

"And queens," I interjected.

"And to hunt with them. She will put your life ahead of her own if she ever needs to."

I didn't like the boding tone that crept into his voice but brushed the notion aside.

Kaley hopped down and sniffed around my room, inspecting her new territory.

Michael glanced at the various shopping bags arranged along the closets, "I see my mother spoiled you."

I blushed and mumbled, "Yes. I wanted to show you but..."

"But I wasn't here."

"Michael?"

"Yes, Elayna?"

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too," he sounded resigned and looked away.

"Michael?"

"Yes, Elayna?" he turned back.

"I'm having a hard time remembering things. It seems like I have forgotten just about everything, is it because of you?"

"Yes," he said. "I'm trying to help you." The expression sounded familiar and I sensed I'd heard it from him before.

"Margaret asked me if I would like to stay here but you're not going to stay with us, are you?"

"No, Elayna. I'm not."

I took his face in my hands and studied his eyes earnestly, "Michael... before you go I want you to make me forget you."

He shook his head from my hands, "I don't want you to forget me."

"I don't want to forget you either but..."

He looked away, "But you need to."

"Yes, Michael. It hurts," a spasm of shame crept into my voice as he turned his gaze back to mine. "I don't like the way it feels when you're not with me. I'm sure it will be easier when you go away if I don't remember you," I shivered.

Michael hugged me to his chest. When he let me go, he made his way around the bed and rummaged in one of the nightstands. Afterwards he came back and stood directly in front of me. He had a small, red pocket knife and unfolded the blade. He took my hand in his and curled all but my index finger into a fist. I looked into his eyes trustingly. He appeared very solemn as he made a slight incision on the very tip of my finger. I sucked in my breath and tried not to flinch. A tiny streak of blood appeared and as Michael gave my finger a gentle squeeze, it grew into a little round bubble.

He closed his eyes and brought my finger to his lips. My heart fluttered and I sensed a subtle pull on my insides, like my soul was reaching out to him. He sighed as he lowered my finger and folded my arm to my chest.

"There," he said, "now you will be a part of me forever."

I smiled happily and cherished the thought away. He took the little knife again and performed the same procedure on his own fingertip. A sudden wave of fear took hold of me, knowing there was some finality lurking behind our exchange. I closed my eyes, just as he had and brought his fingertip to my lips. The sensation was so familiar, the waves of heat rippling throughout me. I vaguely remembered when he brought me back but this time that was not what he was doing. This time he was not bringing me back but instead was chasing my memories of him, of everything that happened away.

## Chapter 9

I settled into my life with Margaret with virtually no memory of how I came to live with her. I forgot all about Elayna, my mother and father, Michael, Victor. It was as if my life began at 12 years old and I was blissfully unaware of all the tragedies and all the horrors that had taken place. I had no idea how I had gotten to where I was and for some reason it didn't seem to matter.

Margaret was very generous, insisting I had been through too much and tried to make my life as carefree and uncomplicated as possible. She told me my parents had died in a car crash and I was with them when it happened. It never occurred to me to doubt her because no matter how hard I struggled and strived I didn't remember them. My long-term memories were lost after the crash and the doctors determined that the head trauma I had gotten during the accident was likely to blame.

When she learned that my parents had passed away Margaret offered to take care of me. She was my closest relative as far as I knew and had no children of her own. Though I didn't remember making the choice or how she arranged it, it seemed perfectly natural when I found myself living with her.

We grew close and I trusted her completely. I told her just about everything and never felt anything but love for her and from her. It wasn't until I was nearly 17 and in my junior year of high school that I began to question what my life may have been like before I lost my parents. The truth came slowly, unraveling day by day after I did one of the first deceitful things I ever remembered doing to Margaret.

It happened the Sunday before my spring break ended. I slept late and after lounging in bed for a few extra minutes I finally got up and opened my bedroom door. Kaley jumped to her feet as soon as she saw me and assaulted me with her demands for hugs and kisses.

"Good morning, baby," I cooed, reaching down to rub her back and scratch her ears. Though her fur looked wiry and unkempt, it was quite soft to the touch. She licked my face with her happy tongue and followed me when I stood up and trudged toward my bathroom. As I stepped through the doorway, she charged in with me.

"Uh, uh! You know the rules," I chided.

I shooed her into the hallway and told her to sit. She did, somewhat grudgingly, then thought better of it and plopped down on her belly. She put her head on her paws and looked up at me with a confused, devoted expression as I closed the door.

"I'll be back in a minute," I assured her.

She was exactly as I left her when I opened the door but bounded to her feet as I made my way to the top of the stairs. Kaley ran ahead of me and bunny-hopped down to the foyer. I shook my head and smiled as I watched her plunge. I couldn't imagine how she got her massive hind legs to bounce in unison without taking a tumble as she raced toward the front door.

I followed in Kaley's wake and when I got close to the landing, I smelled bacon frying and something sweet and citrusy mingling with the scent.

"Good morning, Aunt Margaret," I called as I rounded the stairs and strolled into the kitchen.

"Oh, good morning, Lily. I thought you'd never get up. What time is it anyway?"

I looked at the clock and saw it was after 10 am, "Sorry I slept so late; is there anything I can help with?"

"No, I'm just about finished here." Then she added with a touch of concern, "Are you feeling alright? You're not coming down with anything, are you?"

"Nope. I'm fine," I assured her as Margaret pulled a tray of scones from the oven.

She placed it on a cooling rack beside a bowl of fresh fruit. I pulled up a stool and plucked a handful of grapes.

"I'll get you a plate," Margaret smiled as I popped them in my mouth one at a time.

Kaley rested her head on my knee and watched me eat, her eyes full of hope. "Not this time," I stroked her forehead. I spoiled her far too often and Margaret was eyeing me suspiciously.

"People food can be dangerous for dogs," she said, "has she been out yet?" Margaret turned back to the island and arranged my plate for me; placing the bacon just so, adding some extra fruit and one of the scones.

"No," I sighed knowing what would come next.

"You should take her now."

"Yep," I reluctantly agreed. The scone was distracting but it needed to cool off for a minute or two, anyway. I grabbed Kaley's leash from the kitchen table and headed toward the front door.

"Make sure you pick up after her if she makes a mess."

"Yes, Aunt Margaret," I checked my flippant tone as I wandered down the hallway.

When she was a puppy, Margaret insisted I take Kaley to obedience school. She proved uncannily easy to train and though we had grown somewhat lax, she still behaved very well. After I let us out Kaley sat on the porch and waited until I closed the front door. When she heard the latch click into place, she glanced over her shoulder to make sure I was ready then set off down the steps towards the driveway. We walked a few blocks away from the house, side by side until she started sniffing off to the right letting me know it was time to stop.

She quickly took care of her needs and after I cleaned up, we turned and made our way home. I held up my trophy for Margaret as we walked into the kitchen. "Not the inside trash, Lily. Use the barrel in the garage."

"Ugh!! I just want to eat!" I moaned as shuffled through the mudroom and into the garage.

Thankfully, my breakfast was still warm when we got back. After I washed up, I plopped down and crunched a piece of bacon before starting in on the scone. It was absolutely delicious. Margaret didn't make them often but when she did, they were impossible to resist especially if she decided to put a little icing on them. When she did, it would melt and ooze over the top and sides giving the scone the perfect balance of sweet and tangy.

"Mmm," I sighed as I swallowed my first bite.

"Back to school tomorrow, huh?"

"Gee, thanks for reminding me," I hung my head over my plate.

"Do you have any plans for today?" she asked.

Kaley nudged my knee, so I slipped her a sliver of bacon and told her to sit before taking up my breakfast again. She stretched out at the foot of my stool and while I ate, I absently stroked her side with the tip of my toe.

"No, Dani's doing family stuff today."

Margaret had already eaten but sat anyway and kept me company while I enjoyed my breakfast. Once I finished eating, I gathered the dirty dishes and stacked them in the dishwasher. Before I hurried off to get ready for the day Margaret reminded me I needed to bring my laundry down.

I started the dishwasher then made my way upstairs. Kaley trotted along behind me and followed me to my room. After a quick change from my lounge clothes into jeans and a tee shirt I got to work. I started with my linens, tugging them from my bed and piling them just outside the door. Kaley liked the way they looked and decided to use them for a nest. She chased her tail once or twice before plopping down in the middle of them.

"I hope you realize that's not going to last long," I knew she didn't understand me but she gave me a half-wag, anyway.

I let her be for the moment and fished my hamper from my closet. After dumping it onto the floor, I sorted through the various garments the way Margaret had taught me.

"It's shocking how many outfits you go through in a week! You must change a hundred times a day," Margaret shook her head and smiled at me from the doorway.

She had an armful of fresh sheets for me and after she laid them on my bed helped me gather the first of my piles. We brought them downstairs along with the dirty linens. While Margaret got started on the first load, I made another trip back up and down with the rest of the things I needed washed.

Margaret generally did most of our housework but after considering how much I had just given her I decided I should help and spend a little time tidying my room. I tucked a few things away, dusted and made my bed with the fresh sheets she had left for me. I noticed bits of Kaley's fur drifting around my room while I worked so once everything else was nice and neat, I got the vacuum. I glided it back and forth, back and forth over the carpet and picked up her little tumbleweeds.

Margaret always seemed to get to it first so I wondered if it might be the first time I ever vacuumed. I decided it wasn't that unpleasant and did a thorough job. I worked my way around the bed, ducking the vacuum as far under as it would go. When I made it to the other side, I heard a strange noise coming from beneath the hood of the vacuum. It sounded like something had gotten caught in the brush and was tumbling around inside. I turned off the vacuum and squatted down. I flipped the head over to see what I sucked up and after giving the brush a spin, a dusty, red pocket knife fell onto the carpet.

"That's odd," I thought as I picked the blade up and ran my finger along the smooth surface. It seemed familiar and I wondered where it might have come from.

"I heard the vacuum," Margaret called from the doorway.

I jumped and turned to face her, "Oh, yeah. Just getting up some of Kaley's tokens."

"What have you got there?" Margaret asked.

"Oh, nothing," I replied. "Kaley must have found it on one of our walks and managed to slip it by me." I held the knife out to Margaret.

"Hmm," she touched it warily.

"I'll just throw it away." I quickly folded my fingers around it before she could suggest an alternative. There was a small wastebasket in the corner. I stepped toward it, dropped the tiny blade and watched as it clattered to the bottom of the barrel.

"Well, I wondered if you would like to join me for a walk while we're waiting on the laundry."

It looked beautiful outside so I enthusiastically agreed to the idea. "I'd love to! Let me put this away," I patted the vacuum, "and I'll be right down."

Margaret said she would wait for me in the family room and headed downstairs. After she left I wound up the cord on the vacuum and tucked it away then hurried back to my bedroom. I closed the door and stepped directly toward the wastebasket. I took the little knife out and grabbed a pair of socks from one of my drawers. I tucked the blade inside and opened the drawer on my nightstand. I pushed my newfound treasure all the way to the back and tested the drawer once or twice to make sure Margaret wouldn't see the bundle if she happened to open it.

I didn't understand why I couldn't part with the knife and cringed inside for my duplicity. It seemed so wrong; throwing it away only to retrieve it and hide it from Margaret. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Before going downstairs, I took a deep breath and composed my face hoping to hide my guilt.

Kaley had heard Margaret when she mentioned going for a walk. She knew exactly what the word meant and was waiting for me when I opened my door. She bounced down the hall and back with excitement at the prospect of coming with us. As soon as I started down the stairs Kaley hopped ahead of me and sat expectantly at the front door. She watched me over her shoulder while I retrieved her leash from the kitchen table. After I clicked it onto her collar, I signaled Margaret that we were ready to leave.

The three of us walked along the cul-de-sac then turned right at the end and headed toward the greenway that ran through our development. I struggled to find something to talk about but the little knife still plagued me. Margaret seemed to have something on her mind as well and after about 15 minutes she nudged me and told me she wanted to turn back.

It was pretty cool out for the time of day but comfortable. I really thought I would enjoy the outdoors and it would distract me from wondering about the knife. Unfortunately, I kept picturing it over and over again as we walked and the more I thought about it the worse I felt. By the time we were near the cul-de-sac again, I considered confessing what I had done to Margaret hoping to clear my conscience.

She interrupted my thoughts before I could speak. "I'm going to miss you tomorrow."

"I'll miss you too, Aunt Margaret. I wish I hadn't slept so late," I sighed, "we could have caught a matinee or something. Is there anything else you'd like to do this afternoon?"

Margaret gave a little chuckle, "Before or after we finish all the laundry you've been hoarding in your room."

"Ah, come on! It's not as bad as that," I grinned.

The dullness clouding our afternoon seemed to evaporate and soon we were walking and talking as if it was any other day.

"Let's go out for dinner," Margaret suggested. "I'm not in the mood to cook tonight, anyway."

"Pizza?" I asked full of hope.

"Sure, why not?" she shrugged.

Once we got home, I offered to switch the first load to the dryer and start the next. She thanked me and said to come find her whenever I was ready to eat. As she made her way upstairs, I turned into the laundry room.

I did as much as I could in between bouts of channel surfing and a handful of chapters in the book I was reading. Margaret had several baskets for the clean laundry lined up on a shelf above the washer and dryer. As each load finished, I filled them and tucked them back on the shelf. I didn't bother folding anything myself since Margaret would only refold everything if I did. She had her own system and liked having everything a certain way.

When I placed the last of the baskets, my stomach rumbled announcing it was time to think about dinner. It still seemed early but since we skipped lunch, I guessed Margaret wouldn't mind eating a little sooner than we normally would. I found her upstairs and asked if she was ready to head out. She said she needed a minute to freshen up but would be right down. Like our afternoon walk dinner was a somewhat melancholy affair. We made some small talk but our hearts and our heads seemed elsewhere.

After Margaret drove us home, I found Kaley patiently waiting by the door looking hopeful. I forgot to feed her before we left so I made my apologies and gave her evening meal to her. While she devoured her dinner, I ran upstairs and took my shower. It was nice to wash the day away even though it wasn't a very busy or strenuous one. I still felt a little edgy for lying to Margaret so I lingered hoping it would ease my tension.

When I finally stepped out, I changed into a pair of cozy pajamas and wandered back downstairs. Margaret was in the family room; a cup of tea in her hand and Kaley nearby in her bed.

Margaret asked me if I wanted to watch TV together and clicked through the channels until she found something we were both interested in. We sat through a show or two before she reminded me I had school in the morning.

"I know; I'll get to bed soon."

"Is everything alright, Lily? You've seemed distant today."

"Just... disappointed vacation is over so soon I guess."

She nodded sympathetically, "Well, summer will be here before you know it," she sipped her tea. "Are you going to need a lunch tomorrow or will you get something from the cafeteria?"

"I'd rather brown bag it but don't worry, I can put something together."

I took Kaley for a quick walk in case she had any last-minute needs then said goodnight. We climbed the stairs together and Kaley, ever familiar with my routine, made a dash for the bed. She was too big to sleep with me like she did when she was a puppy but almost never failed to make the attempt. Sometimes I would let her lay with me until I got drowsy because she was so comforting but she liked being close. After letting her crush for a while I'd start to feel crowded and have to shoo her off the bed.

It probably wouldn't have mattered either way that night.

## Chapter 10

Despite my desire to, I didn't sleep well. It seemed like every time I dozed off I woke right back up. As the clock neared the morning hours, I thought about giving up on getting any rest. Kaley sensed I was awake. She waddled towards me from the foot of the bed and rested her head on my pillow. I stroked her ears for a minute and while I did, I thought about the little knife in my nightstand. In the darkness, I rolled to the side and opened the drawer. I reached for the bundled pair of socks and fished around until I found the folded blade inside. I opened the blade and closed it again wonderingly. Kaley nuzzled me and lay down along the side of the bed. I held tightly to the blade with one hand and reached over and stroked Kaley with the other. A moment later sleep finally found me.

I dreamt of a little boy at his birthday party. I didn't recognize him or any of the other children. There was a woman there who looked just like Margaret though she seemed much younger. She was gathering the children to a large table set-up in what must have been a backyard somewhere. I felt oddly familiar with the scene and took it all in.

The woman motioned the little boy to the seat at the head of the table as the disposable birthday linens covering the table shifted in a light breeze. There were about a dozen more place settings and in the chair to the birthday boy's right sat another, slightly younger, boy. He had the same hair, eyes and smile as the first boy, so I guessed they must be brothers and the woman was their mother. She placed the other children boy, girl, boy, girl around the table working away from the first boy. While she was busy, the second boy got up and wandered to a swing set just beyond the party table.

A small flower bed off to the left of the swings caught my attention and again I felt a wrench of familiarity about the scene. The daisies and other wild flowers in the bed contrasted with a row of what looked to be tiger lilies standing bright and tall behind them. I was sure I recognized this place and smiled in my sleep.

There was a little girl rocking back and forth on one of the swings. She had long, black hair and soft, olive skin that intensified the darkness of her hair. I noticed her eyes were a deep, dark, brown as she swung forward and the light from the sun caught them. She was perhaps the prettiest little girl I had ever seen.

"Hi, Michael," she said.

"Hi," the boy replied. "Lily, will you come and sit with me?" He looked down at his feet as he dug up a little tuft of grass with the tip of his shoe.

As the swing came forward, she leapt off and landed just a few inches away from the boy. She took his hand and he, very gentlemanly, walked her to the table. He smiled from ear to ear as they sat down together.

Once the children were in place, the woman led them in a hearty rendition of Happy Birthday and as the chorus died down a man came into view. He carried a large, rectangular cake with flickering candles and the words Happy 10th Birthday Victor carefully scrolled across it. He was obviously the boy's father, an easy guess even though the boy decidedly took after his mother.

The man placed the cake then walked toward the woman and stood behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder. Everyone looked so happy with smiles all around and the light of love in their eyes.

The scene changed somewhat and though the children still sat around the table, a stack of presents lay where the cake once stood. The birthday boy opened them one by one and at his mother's behest thanked whoever had given the gift. Once he opened all the presents, he stood and asked if anyone would like to play hide and seek.

"Oops, just a minute," the man came back and rummaged in his pocket for something. "I didn't have time to wrap it but..." he held out his hand and uncurled his fingers. A little red pocket knife lay in his palm.

"Whoa..." the boy said.

"Let me see," the boy named Michael looked just as awestruck. He was clearly jealous of his brother's good fortune but the little girl tugged on his arm and asked Michael to swing with her. He looked torn as he moved away from his brother at the girl's insistence.

"Great present, Victor!!" He smiled and grabbed Lily's hand before running over to the swings with her.

A shrill beeping startled me awake and it took a moment for me to realize my alarm was going off. I hit the snooze hoping to snatch a little more shuteye but before I could curl back up a wet nose ambushed me. My hope for a few extra minutes of rest was lost as Kaley prodded me into complete wakefulness.

I noticed I still had my hand clenched and when I opened it, realized I had fallen asleep clutching the little pocket knife. It reminded me of my dream and I wondered if I should talk to Margaret about it. The people seemed so real; especially the woman. She reminded me so much of Margaret!

"There must be some way to bring it up," I thought even though my heart kept telling me I would regret it if I did. She never mentioned having a family but the boys; Michael and Victor, they couldn't have been anyone else's children. "Lily," I knew the Lily I dreamt of wasn't me but I felt connected to her somehow.

As I sat wondering about the strangeness of my dream, I convinced myself that was all it was. I couldn't come up with any reason Margaret wouldn't have told me about the people in her life unless there were truly no such people.

After I put the little knife back into its hiding place I got dressed for school. I slipped into my most comfortable pair of jeans and chose a simple white button-up shirt that I paired with a navy cardigan. The jeans had a wide cut at the ankle so I slid on a pair of mid-calf boots and pulled my jeans down over them. By the time, I finished dressing the strange dream had slipped from my mind and the desire to bring it up to Margaret had completely vanished.

I wandered downstairs to make breakfast. Kaley had been patient so far but when we got to the foyer it would have been impossible to mistake that she wanted to go outside. I fetched her leash and guessing it would be cold tossed a jacket over my shoulders. It was still dark and the early morning air felt damp. Thankfully, she only had one concern and completed it in record time.

It was a relief to step back into the warmth of the house. I gave Kaley her breakfast, then fixed a little something for myself. After I finished eating, I glanced at the clock and decided it was early enough to pack a lunch. I cleared my dishes away then rifled through the fridge getting the things I would need to make a salad.

I stuffed a bunch of greens into one container and chopped up some veggies to stick in another. Margaret told me it was better to keep the greens separate so they wouldn't get soggy from the moisture in the veggies. It worked for the most part and after you poured the veggies over the greens, the salad had the impression of being just prepared. As I finished tucking everything into my lunch bag and wiping the counter Margaret came into the kitchen.

She looked energetic and eager to start the day. "Salad?" she smiled as she walked by the island and glanced in my bag. "Don't forget the dressing," she nodded toward the fridge.

"Oh, yeah," I tapped my forehead in a comically forgetful gesture.

Margaret made herself a cup of coffee while I rearranged my lunch bag. Once I finished, I ran upstairs to finish getting ready. I didn't wear make-up often and most days left my hair loose. Occasionally I would put a little mascara on or twist my hair into a loose side-braid but that was the extent of my beauty regimen. I never spent very much time in front of the mirror because it made me think about my mother. I wondered if I looked like her or took more after my father. In my mind, she was very pretty and my dad very handsome and together they were a perfectly matched pair.

I knew it was getting late, so I hurried to my bedroom and packed up my school bag. After I did one last check making sure I had everything I needed I heard Margaret calling up to say she would wait for me in the car. I rushed down to the front door and gave Kaley a quick goodbye hug along with one of her treats. Before I left, I took her head in my hands and looked her in the eye. "Take good care of Margaret today," I said, "and be a good dog." She liked the sound of "good dog" and offered a nice sloppy kiss to show her appreciation.

By the time we got to school, it was just after 7 and I had about 10 minutes before classes started. Margaret waved goodbye as she pulled from the carpool lane. I noticed Danielle making her way towards me through the throngs of students shuffling across the main campus. She bounded up beside me and flung her arm over my shoulder while I waved back.

"Hey, are you ready for another fabulous week of juniordom?" Dani asked as she wrestled me away from the curb.

I rolled my eyes at her, "What do you think?"

Dani and I had known one another for years. She was the first person to say hello the day I started middle school. I had just moved in with Margaret and everyone knew or at least had a vague understanding of what happened to me and my family. That first day was absolutely terrifying under the circumstances. Danielle never brought up the accident, though, or asked any questions. While everyone else sat wide-eyed and curious, she smiled and offered to show me around. I loved her for it and thanked her with all my heart. We'd been the best of friends ever since.

I followed her, smiling and nodding as we dodged the oncoming students and headed towards our lockers. While we walked, she gave me the highlights from her spring break. She told her stories so enthusiastically her mass of curly, brown hair tumbled out of the messy bun she always wore. When we got to our lockers, she absently twisted it back into place and asked me about my vacation.

I gave her a brief run-down as I stored the things I wouldn't immediately need. Afterwards we wound our way to homeroom. She walked ahead of me and looked back once or twice while she continued to chatter away. The first bell rang, so she motioned me to hurry. We stepped through the threshold and when the final bell rang Dani slumped into her chair and I slid into mine.

Our desks stood near the middle of the room. Danielle's was to my right and to the left of me sat a handsome boy with blondish hair and blue eyes named Jake. He was dating a girl named Brooke who I had never really gotten along with. Most mornings I ignored him but when I happened to glance his way, I realized he was staring at me. He made a crude gesture and rather than call him out I rolled my eyes and turned away praying my reaction wouldn't encourage him. He was probably well aware but I refused to give him the additional satisfaction of knowing just how much he offended me. I looked straight ahead through the morning announcements and luckily, they were over quickly.

When the bell rang, I used the other students as camouflage and hurried from the classroom before Jake could offer any further insults. I waited near the end of the hallway and waved Danielle over as soon as she emerged so we could walk to our first class together.

"Bit of a hurry?" she asked as she trotted up.

"Ugh! Jake!"

"Yeah, I saw that. He's an idiot."

Even though there were five minutes between each period we couldn't waste any time. If you didn't find your place in the flow of foot traffic, navigating the crowded hallways and making it to class was next to impossible. Dani seemed in a good mood as we shuffled along. She smiled and waved to her friends as well as a few of the teachers we passed. She had always been well-liked and knew just about everyone. Every other boy or girl who saw us offered her a "Hey, Dani," or "what's up?" as we hurried by.

Our first class was Literature. Prior to break we started studying the Renaissance and it really interested me. I had always enjoyed all things medieval and the romantic idea of kings and queens and court. It might have been my favorite class if only our teacher, Mr. Harris, taught with a little more enthusiasm. He was a bit of a drone and before he started the lesson made it a point to greet everyone by name. He walked along the front of the classroom taking attendance, "Good morning, Ms. Donovan. Good morning, Ms. MacDowell." I wondered if he did it purposefully to knock time off the clock or if it was just one of his quirks.

I sat next to a quiet boy named Charlie. He was good friends with Zach who Danielle was carrying a desperate crush for. Though I had known Charlie since freshman year, I had only spoken with him once or twice. Since Dani liked Zach I had been making it a point to be a little nicer to Charlie. I consider saying hello or offering him some other casual greeting before class got started but Mr. Harris glanced at us with a tsk, tsk expression. I settled for a friendly smile and nod hello which he timidly returned.

The class began with Mr. Harris running down his checklist of the things we would be studying throughout the week. He made his way across the room putting copies of the syllabus on the first desk of each row. As each student took their copy they turned and gave the remaining stack to the person behind them.

"Nice break?" The girl in front of me whispered as she handed me a copy. Her name was Missy and she sat with us whenever she bothered eating lunch. She was very studious and usually spent her free period in the library catching up on homework or projects or whatever else she could get her hands on.

"Yeah, you?"

She smiled and shrugged then turned back.

The rest of the day was pretty standard. Danielle and I had Chemistry together then she went to Spanish and I went to French. After our language classes Dani found me and we headed to the Art Room. Brooke unfortunately shared this class with us. I never understood why she had such a remarkable disdain for me but she wasn't shy about letting me know. If we passed one another in the hallways, she would edge as far away from me as possible while she mumbled and snickered to whoever she was with.

I found it hard to imagine what she might be saying and never bothered to find out. We had nothing in common and moved in completely different circles so whatever caused Brooke's animosity it was beyond me.

There was no assigned seating in Art so I sat at the first open workstation I came to, two rows behind and to the right of her. Danielle plopped down beside me and sighed, "Lord, am I hungry."

"Me too," I muttered.

Our position gave me a good opportunity to study Brooke without being obvious about it. If she wasn't assuming such a narcissistic air all the time I would have called her pretty, maybe even beautiful. She had a distinct, elegant face with arched brows, blue eyes and high cheekbones. Her blonde hair was pin-straight and it fell almost to her waist. She didn't need it but she wore a lot of makeup and smiled at just about everything. She never looked sincere, at least not to me, though. It was the one thing that made me believe Danielle was infinitely more attractive than Brooke, even though they were such opposites on the beauty spectrum.

Mrs. Sheldon, the art teacher, seemed distracted that day and gave us some busy work which everyone quietly got to. She told us to make a print of our names but instead of using ordinary letters she wanted us to choose an object to symbolize each; like a traffic cone for A or a baseball for O, sort of thing. She told us to use a mixed-media format and left us to ourselves. There was an unwritten rule it was alright to talk in class as long as everyone kept their voices down. Most days a constant though somewhat muffled dialogue passed between the workstations and their inhabitants.

Danielle and I fetched a few supplies together and got started on our projects. While we worked, we talked about the few worthwhile things that happened throughout the day so far.

Eventually she changed the subject and asked, "So do you have anyone in mind for the Spring Formal?"

"No. I'm not even sure I'll go."

"Not go!!" Danielle's voice took a blasphemous tone.

I laughed a little out loud. Brooke tossed us a curious look, wondering what we found so amusing. I don't know what prompted me but I gave Danielle a little nudge. I covered my mouth as if the funny thing we were talking about was Brooke. She rolled her eyes and returned her focus to her project. Danielle and I got back to ours. I wasn't feeling very inspired and didn't get much done.

Just a few minutes before the class ended Brooke stood up to get something from the storage cabinet on the other side of the room. On her way back, she pretended to stumble and somehow the paint she carried took a nose dive right onto my project. She must have loosened the cap because when it hit the workstation the paint splattered across my paper and trickled onto the floor. Luck kept it from hitting Dani's paper or either of our clothes but I was beside myself knowing she had done it deliberately. I checked my anger and twisted around to face Brooke.

"Oh, no, Brooke! Are you alright?" my voice full of concern. "I hope you didn't get hurt tripping over yourself like that!"

I made sure I said it loud enough for everyone to hear and it came out with the utmost sincerity. She looked furious imagining I just called her a ditzy klutz in front of the rest of the class. Mrs. Sheldon came over to check on Brooke and the carnage her paint had done. There was so much of it on my paper Mrs. Sheldon couldn't tell how much work I had actually completed.

"Sorry about your paper, Lily. How about I give you an A- for the effort you must have put into it?"

The bell rang marking the end of the period. Everyone hurried to turn their projects as they filed out of the classroom. Brooke stayed behind so she and Mrs. Sheldon could mop up the mess she made. I regretted the situation for a moment and a twinge of guilt struck me. I asked if I could help.

"No, no," Mrs. Sheldon said. "I'm sure it's not as bad as it looks. We'll get this done in no time."

I glanced at Brooke. She had a look in her eye that said, "I'll get you for this!"

So much for my guilt; I sent her a "bring it on," grin and marched out of the room.

"So, what's up with you and Brooke?" Danielle asked innocently enough.

"Beats me."

We meandered on toward our Trigonometry class. Most days I glanced at the clock a dozen or more times wishing lunch would hurry up and come but I rather enjoyed the Trig class. Mrs. Vesa always reminded me of Margaret with her no-nonsense, systematic approach to teaching. She ran through the day's problem-solving process step by step explaining each one in a simple and easy to follow method. Once the lesson was over, she assigned our homework and let us get started over the last few minutes of class.

When the bell finally rang, an audible sigh escaped from the group of students and I imagined everyone was looking forward to their lunches as much as I was. Danielle dropped me at my locker and said she would be right back. I stashed my books and grabbed my bag. I would have loved following the herd to the cafeteria but checked my patience and waited for Dani.

The lunch room was overflowing by the time we got there but Danielle and I had a regular table and she made a beeline for it. The other students slid along the bench and shuffled either their bags or trays and made room for both of us.

"Hey everyone," Danielle sat down and unwrapped her sandwich.

I offered a quick, "Hello," to the group as well, then got started on my lunch. After I took the lids off the containers with my veggies and greens I quickly assembled my salad. When I tilted the dressing to drizzle over it, Brooke walked by. She jerked her head back just as she was about to pass and sneezed all over my lunch.

I was still livid from the incident in the art room and so hungry my anger went beyond recall. I stood up and grabbed her arm, drawing her back to face me. Touching her gave me a jolting mental image of someone else, though. Whoever she was, she looked a lot like Brooke but several years older. As I stood there picturing one and holding the other a wave of understanding seemed to wash over me. Suddenly I had a complete understanding of who Brooke really was. I realized she was only acting out of her own fears and insecurities, along with her petty jealousies of everyone else and her utmost desire to fit in. I didn't know who the woman in my mind was but somehow, she triggered the impressions I was getting of Brooke.

"Let me go freak!" She shouted.

The sensation rattled me and I couldn't decide what to do. Brooke yanked herself free but seemed unable to pull her gaze from mine. I saw the fear swimming in her eyes as she shrunk from me. I took a deep breath and though there were a hundred things I wanted to and probably should have said, "Enjoy your lunch," was the only thing that came out. There was a physical release of the tension between us and she stumbled backwards. Visibly shaken Brooke stumbled toward the table where Jake sat and put her head on his shoulder.

Charlie gave a low whistle, "Hmm. That was... interesting," he frowned slightly and seemed to quietly savor what he just witnessed. Everyone else at the table started talking at once. I didn't catch any of the various conversations taking place but I perked up when Danielle offered me half her sandwich. As if the gesture was a cue, each of our friends sitting nearby took a little something from their lunches and placed it in front of me like an offering.

It quickly brought me back to the moment and I thanked everyone for being so generous. I enjoyed my smorgasbord lunch as best I could but my confrontation with Brooke unnerved me and I only managed a few bites here and there.

## Chapter 11

Margaret picked me up after school and as I buckled myself in, she asked me how my classes went. I wanted to tell her about the trouble I had with Brooke but couldn't bring myself to worry her unnecessarily. I gave an edited version of my day and found a handful of other things to share during our drive home. Margaret was a good listener and we ended up talking the entire ride.

As we pulled into the driveway, I wondered how Kaley had been.

Margaret smiled when I asked, "She's been mourning your absence all day. She must have searched every nook and cranny of the house hoping to find you somewhere."

We walked up the front steps together and as soon as I opened the door Kaley bowled me over. I bent down and let her kisses wash away all my hard feelings.

"Aww, poor Kaley. I've missed you, too! I'm sorry I have to spend so much time away. Would you like to go for a walk?"

She ran to the kitchen table knowing I usually left her leash there and beckoned with her wagging tail and happy eyes.

"Okay. It'll need to be a short one, though. I have homework."

I brought her to the greenway and back. Once we were inside, I tossed her a biscuit, grabbed my bag and made my way to the kitchen. Margaret was there fixing me a snack.

"I've been a little lonely today, too," she confessed as she handed me a plate of apples and a ramekin of peanut butter.

"Ooh," I said, wide-eyed. "Thank you!" It was one of my favorite treats.

She poured a glass of milk. I gratefully accepted it along with the apples and sat at the kitchen table. I got started on my homework while I absently nibbled my snack. It didn't take long to finish the various assignments. I guessed the teachers were being generous since it was our first day back. When I scribbled the last of my notes, I organized my papers and put them in the appropriate books. I tucked everything into my bag and left it by the door for an easy grab in the morning.

Margaret heard me in the hallway, "Done so soon?" she called.

I popped my head in the family room, "Yeah. They must have given us an easy workload since we just got back from break."

"That's nice. What are you up to now?"

"I'm going to email Danielle. We're trying to make plans the weekend."

"Are you hoping to do anything special?"

"Nah, just hang out."

"Well, I'll be here whenever you'd like to start dinner."

I wandered to my room and saw that Margaret had folded my laundry and left it in several stacks on my bed. I methodically put everything away before sitting at one of the window seats with my laptop perched on my knees. Danielle had gotten home before me and already sent a brief note.

She mentioned a few things we hadn't talked about during school and asked about the weekend. I quickly tapped out a response saying either day would be fine and to let me know which would be best. When I finished my email, I put the laptop aside and picked up a copy of a fashion magazine Margaret had left for me. It had a post-it note stuck to the cover, "Does this interest you at all?"

I flipped through the pages but didn't find much worthwhile among them. At about the halfway mark I was about to put the magazine down when I came to an ad featuring a man in a beautifully tailored suit. He had a hint of a smile playing on his lips and must have been looking directly into the camera when the photographer snapped the picture. It seemed like he was staring back at me from the page. I couldn't turn myself away. There was something...something... familiar about the man; his dark hair, expressive eyes. I wondered if I knew anyone who looked like him or had similar features.

No one came to mind. Margaret didn't say whether she wanted the magazine back or not. Just in case, I pulled the page before putting the publication aside hoping the ad would help me remember who the man reminded me of. I folded the page into quarters and tucked it into my nightstand near my other little treasure.

Afterwards I surfed the web for what seemed a couple of minutes though it had actually been much longer. When I looked up again, I noticed it was getting dark. I decided I'd better go downstairs to see if I could help Margaret with dinner. It was a nice way for us to spend time together and I figured it would be a good skill to have someday. Besides, I really enjoyed cooking with her and Margaret was eager to share everything she knew with me. I always loved the sense of accomplishment when we sat down to eat whatever we created.

She was still in the family room, reading quietly, when I got downstairs.

"Are you ready for dinner?"

"Yep. I came down to see if I could help."

"I would love a hand." She smiled before adding, "I found a recipe for Black Peppercorn Chicken that looked interesting. What do you say?"

"Sounds spicy!" I chuckled.

We made our way to the kitchen and washed up. Margaret set out the things we needed to get started then gathered a couple of aprons from the pantry.

"A vegetable medley should go well with it. How about cutting up a few carrots, some broccoli and zucchini?"

"Sounds good," I fished them from the refrigerator and lined them by the sink.

While I got the veggies ready, Margaret collected a variety of spices from the cabinet and arranged them along the kitchen island. She checked the recipe before measuring each one out and mixing them together.

After rinsing the veggies, I grabbed a cutting board along with the heavy knife we used for chopping. I wasn't that comfortable with the blade at first so when I started prepping the vegetables I did it slowly. Once I finished the carrots, I moved on to the broccoli. I trimmed the stems and grew slightly more confident with each stroke. I sped up and as I cut the first of the florets down to size, I nicked my finger.

"Ooh," I said, awestruck by the little drop of blood on my fingertip. I stared down at it and thought about the man in the magazine. His image filled my mind but there was something different and more familiar about him. For a moment, I thought I remembered who he was but when Margaret rushed me to the sink and rinsed my finger the idea vanished. She ducked my finger under an icy stream of water and when I pulled it out, we couldn't find any trace of the cut.

"That's odd," Margaret frowned. "It must have been much smaller than it looked."

"I guess so," I shook my head in confusion.

"Maybe I should finish the veggies."

"Maybe you're right."

I smiled though it disappointed me to have Margaret question my ability and take over. She suggested I season the chicken instead. I pulled the breasts from the fridge and brushed them with olive oil. After sprinkling a generous pinch of the seasonings onto each I rubbed it in making sure to coat the breasts evenly before placing them in a baking dish.

"They look very nice, Lily," Margaret said as she took the dish and popped it in the oven.

She set a timer then we both washed up and cleared away all the dishes we used. As Margaret wiped the counter, I decided it would be a good time to take Kaley for a walk.

"I'll be right back," I held up the leash in explanation.

Kaley scrambled to the front door and we headed to the greenway. It had grown a lot cooler since the afternoon and I wished I remembered a jacket. As we meandered down the path, I saw little wisps of my breath curling upwards. I found myself thinking about the man in the magazine again and the man I pictured when I cut my finger.

"Was it my dad?" I wondered. He would have been much older, though, so that didn't seem likely. I contemplated other scenarios – an actor from a television show, a teacher, neighbor. Nothing sounded quite right. "Whoever he is, he's very handsome," I told myself. Then I started to feel ashamed when I realized that I might simply be having a little crush.

"Good grief, I'm ridiculous," I said out loud and promised myself not to think about him whoever he was, any more.

Kaley left me a gift and was ready to head home. I realized how hungry I was and after cleaning up, quickened our pace. Kaley perked up when she sensed my enthusiasm and took my hurried step as a signal. She bounded toward home and I ran after her smiling at the simple joy of the act.

We burst into the house, both of us breathless and panting.

"Just in time," Margaret said as she set our plates on the table.

I gave Kaley her dinner and freshened her water bowl. I washed up and hurried to join Margaret at the kitchen table. Our dinner smelled fabulous and I couldn't wait to take the first bite. Margaret was more dignified than I was and as I stuffed a huge bite of chicken into my mouth, I saw her from the corner of my eye. She shook out her napkin and placed it on her lap. It was a simple gesture but enough to get me to remember my manners. I took up my knife and fork and cut my servings into bite-sized pieces then forced myself to eat slowly. The chicken came out really well and I bubbled with pride when I tasted it.

"It's so good Aunt Margaret, nice and spicy."

"I'm glad you like it," she said.

About halfway through our meal Margaret asked if Dani and I worked anything out for the weekend. I hadn't heard back but Margaret assured me we didn't have any plans and either day should be fine.

"Great. I'll let you know when she gets back."

It hadn't been the best of school days but a nice dinner and the prospect of a fun weekend gave me just what I needed to pick myself up. I helped Margaret with the dishes and after tidying up the kitchen, ran upstairs for my shower. It was still a bit early by the time I finished so I took a few extra minutes getting ready for bed.

I checked my email but Danielle hadn't sent a reply yet. Margaret was in the family room watching television when I went down to say good night. I sat quietly for a few minutes reminiscing about the day. School would have been fine if it hadn't been for Brooke. There wasn't much to my afternoon but I really enjoyed making dinner with Margaret and racing home with Kaley after our walk.

"Everything alright, dear?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Just a little sleepy, I guess. I think I'll get to bed now." I stood up and brushed her cheek with a kiss. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Lily."

I started the climb up the stairs.

"Lily?"

I paused, "Yes, Aunt Margaret."

"You really did a great job on dinner tonight."

"Thanks," I said. "Making dinner was my favorite part of the day."

She gave me a warm smile, "I'll see you in the morning."

## Chapter 12

It didn't take long to slip back into our regular routines. I would wake up each morning and get ready for school. If I was running late Margaret helped between her sips of coffee. After she dropped me off I spent the day cramming myself with Trig, French, Literature and so forth.

Thankfully, I hadn't had any more unfortunate experiences with Brooke. Ever since the incident in the cafeteria, she seemed to be consciously avoiding me. I was thankful for the reprieve and found that the less I saw of her the more bearable my school days were.

When I came home Kaley and I would spend a few minutes together over a quick walk. Afterwards I either sat at the kitchen table or sprawled out in my room and clambered through whatever homework I happened to have.

My favorite part of the day always came at night while Margaret and I made dinner together. I enjoyed cooking so much I wondered if I should consider applying to culinary school rather than college after my senior year. Most of my friends planned on going to a traditional 4-year school. None of the majors they offered interested me though and I couldn't see myself spending more time studying subjects I would likely never use.

Winter was almost over and everyone was getting excited about our upcoming Spring Formal. I wasn't very demonstrative and didn't have a boyfriend so I still wasn't sure whether I'd bother to go. A small part of me thought it might be a fun way to spend time with my friends. The other part of me rejected the idea completely because it would have been too embarrassing to go without a date and there wasn't a single person I wanted to ask or hoped would ask me.

Danielle wanted me to go and I knew she hoped Zach would take her. Every time she asked if I had changed my mind, though, I gave her a vague, non-committal answer. She grew frustrated and rather than accepting the possibility I might not be there, made sure our conversations were from the perspective that I absolutely would.

As usual we had plans to get together over the weekend and despite the dread of talking about the formal, I looked forward to visiting. Her family was fun and affectionate, especially her mom. She was super-sweet and always ready with a hug or a kind word. She never raised her voice or lost her temper even though Danielle's younger brother constantly tested her.

He was 100% boy and liked catching bugs and frogs, getting muddy, climbing trees and breaking things. He never wore pants, always shorts, even in the dead of winter. Trouble followed him almost everywhere he went. At any given moment, he had a bandage on either knee along with a variety of bumps and bruises from whatever mischief he had gotten into. I felt sorry for Danielle's mother, Mrs. MacDowell or Mrs. Mac for short, because she never gave up on trying to curb his renegade ways. Unfortunately, she never managed to restrain him or contain the chaos he created.

While Dani's mom tried in vain to reform Malcolm, Mr. Mac kept himself busy doing yard work. He spent hours mowing, raking, weeding or planting and it certainly paid off. His efforts painted a picture-perfect view as you approached the front door to their house. He had everything laid out just so and spring was the best time of year to admire it. Everything looked so colorful you had to stop and let your eyes wander from one artful display to the next.

Danielle's house sat on a hill and the backyard sloped down to a greenway that led into one of the state parks. The park was one of the most peaceful places around and another reason I enjoyed spending weekends at Danielle's. We often walked the trails or hung out in the shade by one of the many ponds talking about every and any little thing that came to mind.

I envied them sometimes because they were the way I always pictured my family would have been.

"Lily," Margaret called up the stairs encouraging me to hurry.

I plopped down on my bed and laced up my sneakers, "One minute," I called back.

I grabbed a sweatshirt from my closet and raced down to the foyer. Dani and I had made plans to take the greenway into the park to do a little hiking. It was so nice out I doubted I would need the extra layer but there wasn't any harm in having it handy. Kaley looked hopeful as I made my way down and for a moment I wished I had asked Danielle if I could bring her with me. I knew she would love chasing squirrels and snuffling through the fallen leaves along the sides of the trails.

"Next time," I assured Kaley and kissed her nose.

"Tick-tock," Margaret pointed to her watch as she waited for me to finish my goodbye. She had an appointment to get her hair done right after she dropped me off and was impatient to leave.

I wasn't sure why she was so anxious; it only took about 10 minutes to get from our house to Dani's. She had plenty of time to make her way across town.

Dani was sitting on the porch when we pulled up. She smiled brightly and waved to Margaret as I hopped out and said goodbye. When Margaret slipped from view Dani leapt from the top step to the walkway.

She handed me a water, "Let's go!"

"Geez, why is everyone in such a hurry today?" I snagged the bottle.

"Zach and Charlie are out there hitting the trails," she nodded towards the greenway.

"Ah, I see."

Danielle obviously hoped for an encounter. The park was enormous, though. You could spend hours on the bike, bridle and hiking paths and never run into another person. I wondered if Zach knew we would be there and whether he would make it a point to look for us.

We walked for almost an hour but didn't see them anywhere. Dani glanced at me and sighed, "Wanna head back?"

I shrugged, "Whenever you're ready."

We decided to take a short break first and stopped at a bridge that crossed over one of the many creeks running through the park. It was at the bottom of a hill that corkscrewed around so it was impossible to see anyone coming until they reached the end of the last curve. After we crossed the bridge, we sat on a huge boulder just off to the side of the trail and took our water bottles out.

As I finished my first chug, I heard a gravelly rumble and two mountain bikes came whizzing down the hill at breakneck speed. They passed so close I might have reached out my finger and touched them. As they crossed the wooden bridge and reached the other side, they stopped with a flourish; spinning their bikes in 180 degree turns while throwing up bits of dirt and rock. Though I couldn't see their faces under their helmets and glasses, I guessed it must be Zach and Charlie.

They peddled up to us and dismounted.

"Hey, Lily," Charlie took his helmet off and hooked it on his handlebars.

Zach did the same, "Hey, Dani," he said.

Danielle shaded her eyes and looked up at them "Hi, guys! Fancy meeting you here."

I rolled my eyes and nudged her in the ribs, "Yeah, fancy that."

I got up and made my way towards Charlie to give them a few minutes alone. "So, show me your bike," I said.

He pushed it a few feet away and told me all about the kind of bike it was. Most of what he said meant absolutely nothing to me but I was curious after seeing him and Zach in action, what it would be like to ride one. When I told him, his eyes lit up.

"Really?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Well, I haven't met many girls who think they want to mountain bike. Actually, I haven't met any girls like that."

I wasn't sure what to say, so I just smiled and shrugged while I absently looked Charlie over. It was the first time I'd seen him without his glasses. He must have been using contacts so he could wear protective lenses while he rode. He was a little disheveled from his helmet and the exertion of the biking itself but overall I thought it was a good look for him.

"You know, my little brother has a mountain bike he almost never uses. It's probably about the right size for you if you ever want to give it a try."

"How about tomorrow?" I eagerly asked.

"Oh, alright," my enthusiasm surprised him, "but I'll need to check with my mom first."

"Yeah, I'll have to talk to my aunt, too," some of my excitement faded when I remembered I couldn't make plans on the fly like that.

We talked a little more about biking, school, the weather, whatever we could think of to pass the time while Dani and Zach bantered back and forth. I wondered how long it would take for one or the other to get around to asking about the formal. It was obvious they liked each other so I couldn't imagine what the hold-up might be. I sincerely hoped that if I ever found myself attracted to a boy, I wouldn't be so coy and evasive with my feelings.

Then I had a sudden burst of inspiration.

"Hey, the Spring Formal is coming up, we should all go together," I glanced at each of them and waited to see what they thought.

Danielle's eyes grew wide in disbelief.

"That's a great idea!" Zach exclaimed. A look of relief washed over him when he realized he wouldn't have to muster up the courage to invite Danielle himself.

It wasn't a perfect solution but after Dani heard Zach's excitement her expression changed and I knew I did the right thing by suggesting it. I was so glad I spoke up before Zach and Charlie zipped away on their bikes without settling anything.

"Uh, I'm already going with someone," Charlie piped up.

I never considered that possibility.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, not sorry that you have a date. Sorry that... oh, never mind. It would have been fun if we could have gone together."

It surprised me how disappointed I was, sincerely disappointed. I didn't think I wanted to go to the formal but maybe that wasn't the case.

"Well, I know someone else who'd join us if you really want to make it a foursome," Zach said.

"Oh. Uh..."

Danielle's eyes pleaded with me.

"Sure! Why not?"

"Cool! Brooke and Jake broke up and he planned on going stag. I'm sure he'll tag along if I ask him."

My heart sank. "God, no! Anyone but Jake!" my mind exploded. I opened my mouth but only managed a submissive sigh when I caught Danielle's eye and could see how much she was counting on me. A thousand ways to back out crossed my mind but I couldn't utter a single one as I looked from one friend to the next and smiled.

"I can hardly wait."

"Great! I'll give him a call. Hey, Charlie, saddle up!"

Before they left, I gave Charlie my email address and told him not to forget to talk to his mom about getting together tomorrow. A few seconds later the boys rode off in one direction while Danielle and I headed in the other. I didn't talk much as we meandered back to her house but Danielle bubbled over and shared all her excited, enthusiastic thoughts with me. I paid little attention and only caught bits and pieces of whatever she said. My mind was a whirlwind coming up with excuse after excuse to escape the agreement I made.

"Maybe Margaret will help me think of something," I thought to myself. As we were walking a squirrel ran across the trail in front of us. It reminded me of Kaley. "Hey, I keep forgetting to ask," I interrupted Danielle mid-whatever she was saying. "Would it be alright if I brought Kaley with me sometime when I visit?"

"Oh, yeah. I guess. I'm not sure. Remind me and I'll talk to my mom when we get home."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

Danielle suddenly seemed to realize who I just agreed to go to the formal with and what a huge burden it would be for me. She apologized and told me how grateful she was. "I can't believe you came up with that! What a great idea; all going together. It's too bad about Charlie, though. I wonder who he's taking."

"Not me," I shook my head and let out a half-hearted laugh.

"Aww, crap! I'm really sorry about Jake. I know he's the last person you'd want to go with, especially after that whole Brooke thing."

"It's okay. It'll all work out."

"Are you sure? We can get someone to take him off your hands. Missy?"

I knew that would never happen. I decided I had better pray Brooke and Jake got back together before the dance.

"Those bikes seem pretty fun, don't they?" I needed to change the subject.

"Uh, uh, no way! Not unless you want a broken neck!!" Danielle made herself perfectly clear on the matter. "I've seen those people riding out there. Absolutely crazy! Some of the trails are like 6 inches wide and covered in rocks and roots."

"Well, I'm sure he won't take me on any of those."

"Who, Jake?"

"No, duh, Charlie. He's letting me borrow his brother's bike so I can try riding tomorrow."

"Are you insane?"

"I must be if I'm going to the Spring Formal with Jake."

"Well, just don't break a leg or anything. I'll need you on the dance floor."

"Break a leg," I mumbled. "That might do the trick."

When we got to Dani's house Margaret was already there waiting for me. Mrs. Mac had made tea and they sat at the kitchen table chatting over it. I noticed Aunt Margaret's new hairdo and decided she looked very pretty in it. She had a little of the length taken off and added a few loose layers around the ends so they framed her face a bit. It made her look a lot younger and wondered if she ever considered dating. I was sure there would be plenty of single men who would love meeting someone like her.

"Hi, girls. How was your walk?" Mrs. Mac asked.

"It was fab-u-lous," said Danielle.

"Well, we should be going," Margaret stood up. "You can tell me all about it on the way home."

Margaret thanked Mrs. Mac for the tea and I said a quick goodbye to Danielle, "See you Monday."

I was glad Margaret didn't want to extend our visit because I really needed to talk to her about Jake. As we got in the car, I wished I had told her about Brooke and everything that had happened between us the Monday after spring break. I hated feeling so deceitful on top of everything else. She would probably be disappointed I hadn't shared my troubles with her. It wasn't because I didn't trust her, or believed she wouldn't understand. I just didn't want her to worry about me and really, it turned out to be no big deal since Brooke had been keeping her distance.

"Aunt Margaret?"

"Yes, dear," she glanced at me as she drove.

"I need to talk to you about something."

She looked surprised, "Oh, is everything alright?"

I took a deep breath and told Margaret the whole story from Jake taunting me during homeroom, to what happened during Art and in the lunchroom. Other than the eerie sensation I got when I touched Brooke I shared everything that happened up until I inadvertently accepted Jake as my date for the formal.

It took the entire drive to get through the whole tale and I was just wrapping up as we got home.

"Hmm," she said. "I'm really not sure what you should do. It's nice that you're going to the formal but this Jake character; that sounds like trouble."

"You have no idea! I can't stand Jake and I'm sure Brooke will find a way to get back at me if she finds out. I don't think I can go through with it. It means a lot to Danielle and I'd hate to disappoint her but I am only willing to go so far to help a friend."

"Well, Rome wasn't built in a day," she offered an encouraging smile, "we'll come up with something. Is there any chance Jake and Brooke will get back together?" she raised her eyebrows optimistically.

I thought that might be my only hope, too, but couldn't imagine being so lucky. "Maybe," I mumbled.

Kaley must have gotten her leash off the kitchen table. As soon as Margaret let us in the house, I found her sitting in the hallway with it dangling from her mouth. Her tail wagged back and forth and swept the floor as I took it from her and clicked it onto her collar.

"You're not too demanding, now are you?" I ruffled her ears.

"I'll start dinner. Come help me when you're back."

The days had gotten longer and it wasn't dark yet but it had cooled down quite a bit. I remembered my sweatshirt and grabbed it from the car before we took our walk. As I pulled it over my head Kaley strained on her leash and dragged me toward the sidewalk.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming."

Instead of taking our usual route towards the greenway Kaley turned me in the opposite direction. She seemed very excited and had a happy bounce in her step. It reminded me of the way she acted whenever Dani came over and I had to struggle to keep Kaley from toppling her over. I didn't notice anything unusual, though, just a man getting into his car and driving away. As the car pulled from view Kaley gave up whatever quest she was on and turned us around to head home.

"What was that all about?"

Kaley looked back as if to say, "None of your business."

She stepped off the sidewalk a few paces from our driveway and waited patiently for me to clean up after she finished. The garage was open, so I dropped the baggy in the barrel then went in through the mudroom. Margaret was in the kitchen chopping up veggies.

"How was your walk?"

"Odd," I said, "Kaley dragged me towards the main road rather than the greenway. It seemed like she was trying to find something. I looked all over but I didn't see anything that would make her want to go that way."

Margaret seemed a little puzzled and somewhat nervous, "It might have been a squirrel or a skunk," she suggested. "You really shouldn't let her lead you like that."

"Yeah, but if she's determined enough I don't have much of a choice."

I put her leash on the table and washed up so I could help Margaret with dinner. "What's on the menu tonight?"

"Pork tenderloin. I picked one up this afternoon. They don't always have them but when they do, they sell out fast. I think you'll really enjoy it."

She walked me through the rub she planned to use and had me blend the spices for her. While I worked on those, she simmered a glaze she wanted to put on during the last few minutes of baking. Once the tenderloin was in the oven Margaret got the steamer ready and started cooking the veggies. I used the opportunity to feed Kaley and when I finished I asked Margaret about biking with Charlie.

"He said I could borrow his brother's bike and that we'll go slow and take the easy trails. It's just to see if I like it, you know?"

"What about a helmet?"

"Oh, I'm sure I can borrow one of those, too."

"I suppose it's alright but I want you to promise you'll wear a helmet and take it easy. Let me know about the times and if it doesn't interfere with anything else, you can go."

"Thank you, thank you!!" I was so happy that something finally went right.

While dinner was cooking, I ran upstairs to check my email. Charlie hadn't forgotten me and I quickly read his note. He could go, but only for an hour or two. He wanted to meet at 10:00 am and hoped to be done by 12:00 pm. I wrote back and asked about a helmet and whether there was anything else I should bring.

He must have been online because a minute after I sent my email I got a reply with a list of other things I should do before our ride. Most of what he recommended made sense and sounded pretty self-explanatory. Do a little stretching, no loose-fitting clothes, he wrote; wear sneakers, bring water, eat a banana, light gloves if you have them and glasses or sunglasses.

"Eat a banana? I wonder if I should ask him about that," I thought. "It must be a joke."

Dinner was just about ready when I got downstairs. I helped Margaret set the table for us and told her what Charlie had said.

"That should be fine as long as you get your laundry together tonight and bring it down for me."

We sat down to a nice dinner and once I took the first bite I understood why Margaret chose the pork tenderloin. It was delicious; the meat was tender and juicy and the glaze added a nice sharp flavor to the meat.

"Another winner," I said.

Margaret smiled, "So, listen. I might have an idea that will take some of the sting out of the Spring Formal. Why don't you get another couple or two to join you? I'll reserve a limo and you can all go together. Not only will it be easier for the parents but it will make it seem less like a date between you and Jake."

My mind raced through the scenario and my heart leapt when I realized what a perfect solution it was. "That's an awesome idea! I'll pitch it to Danielle; she knows everyone and can get the word around. I'm sure we can find another couple or two to go with us."

After dinner, I ran up to my room and sent Dani a note with Aunt Margaret's idea. I really hoped the plan would work out. Margaret was right, with the extra couples it would seem more like a group activity than a date. We would just be a collection of friends spending a fun night out together. The prospect put me in a much better mood. I tapped out an email to Danielle and one to Charlie as well. I included Margaret's proposition in each message and asked Charlie if he and his date would consider being one of our other couples. Once I sent the emails off I took my shower and got ready for bed.

Margaret was at her desk in the family room when I finished. It was later than I imagined and it had been a long day so after I told her I let Danielle and Charlie know about the limo I said goodnight.

Kaley followed me upstairs and lay down at the foot of my bed. After I switched the light, I crawled beneath the covers. I fell fast asleep and dreamt I was taking Kaley for a walk, like I had earlier in the evening. We moved towards the main road and as we wandered down the sidewalk, she strained on her leash, pulling me towards a car parked along the sidewalk. A surreal moment passed when I realized I was dreaming and that none of these things were actually happening but when I tried to wake myself, I couldn't.

The driver's door opened and a man stepped out. He turned to face me and when I saw him I stood paralyzed with shocked recognition. I dropped Kaley's leash and she joyously bounded up to the stranger.

"Michael," I whispered, breathless with excitement when I realized who he was. Kaley reared up and placed her paws on his chest while I watched in trembling disbelief. He ruffled her ears then looked my way and smiled. He reached out, motioning me to come join them. Kaley sat at his side as I walked towards him.

When I stopped in front of him, Michael wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He buried his face in my hair, "I've missed you," his voice sent shivers down my spine. He brushed my hair over my shoulder and bent down to kiss me on the soft flesh between my neck and collar bone. It wasn't an ordinary kiss, though. A needle-sharp pain made me flinch but then a strange delirium settled over me. It liberated an exhilarating sensation I had nearly forgotten; some phantom tendril of myself and Michael coiling and stretching around us twisting and binding us together.

He took my face in his hands and his lips brushed my temple, "Now you will be a part of me forever."

As his words echoed softly in my mind Kaley bounded to her feet. She began growling and bristling at something behind me. Michael glanced over my shoulder and puzzled I turned to look in the opposite direction. It was Michael but it wasn't Michael, standing a few hundred yards from where we stood. He held a dead tree limb and pointed toward us.

"I haven't forgotten," he dropped the limb in emphasis, turned and disappeared into the night.

My heart pounded with fear as Kaley licked me to wakefulness. I gasped for air but every breath seemed to cause a stabbing jolt of agony to flash through my head and chest. The pain blinded me and I couldn't focus for a moment. Several minutes passed before I managed to calm myself and accept that I was safe in bed.

Once I felt strong enough, I drew myself up intending to make my way to the bathroom. I got as far as my bedroom door and gave the knob a turn but the exertion was too much for me. I swooned then blacked out and fell into the hallway. Kaley became hysterical and ran back and forth between me and the stairway several times before rearing up and scratching on Aunt Margaret's door.

Margaret thrust her door open, upset about being woken and almost scolded Kaley but then she noticed me laying on the floor.

"Lily," she screamed. "Lily," she raced down the hallway. Margaret smoothed the hair from my face and gently tried waking me. "Lily, please!" She listened for my breath and checked my pulse while Kaley helplessly watched.

"Ugh," I moaned as I came to.

"Lily! Oh, Lily. Dear God! Are you alright? What happened?"

"I'm not sure, Aunt Margaret. I was walking Kaley and..."

"Walking Kaley! At this hour?" Margaret sounded very upset but curbed her anger while she waited for me to elaborate.

"No, no, it was a dream. I mean. I can't remember. It's all distorted now."

"Did you have a bad dream, dear? Is that all?"

"Yeah, I guess I did. I have a really bad headache and when I got up... I think it just hit me."

"Does it still hurt?"

"Only if I move."

"Well, don't move. Let me see if I have something for migraines. Rest here for a minute. I'll be right back."

Before she left to look for the migraine medicine Margaret got a washcloth and ran it under the cold water for a few seconds. She put it on my forehead and had me close my eyes. Kaley seemed satisfied that the worst was over and scurried toward me. She laid down at my side and I smiled realizing how comforting it was to have her near me. A few minutes later I dozed off.

It was bright and sunny when I woke. I immediately glanced at my clock and prayed I hadn't missed my riding date with Charlie.

"No, there's still time," I thought.

I hurried downstairs to grab a bite to eat. Margaret's bedroom door was open when I passed it and I realized she was up already.

"Why didn't you wake me? Did you forget I'm meeting Charlie today?"

"You don't honestly think you're still going, do you?"

"What do you mean? Of course, I am! Why wouldn't I?"

"After last night?" Margaret's eyes were full of disbelief.

"What do you mean after last night? What happened last night?"

Margaret frowned and studied me for a few seconds while attempting to decide whether I had truly forgotten and whether to tell me. I was completely unaware of anything unusual happening.

"How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine, great actually. I can't remember sleeping so well since...since...well, I can't remember when."

"Really?"

"Really. What's going on Aunt Margaret? Did I miss something?"

She gave an odd little chuckle.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Nothing, sweetie. Are you going to have breakfast?"

"Charlie said I should eat a banana."

"Okay," Margaret looked guarded when I brought up Charlie.

It seemed like she no intention of letting me follow through with my riding plans. I couldn't imagine why she wouldn't. I wondered if Margaret was having second thoughts because she worried I might get hurt. Maybe she had a bad dream or something.

I decided to ask, "Did you have a bad dream last night? Is that why you don't want me to go?" I tried to sound understanding and sympathetic.

"Something like that, yes."

"Well, there's no reason for you to worry. I promise you. Charlie and I will be careful and ride safe. I'm sure he won't let me do anything too difficult. He's not like that."

The phone rang while Margaret considered what I said. She answered it and handed me the receiver, "It's Charlie."

"Hey, Charlie. What's up?"

He told me he got my number from Danielle and hoped I didn't mind. He said he checked the weather and the forecast said it might rain later. "How soon before you're ready to leave?" he asked.

"I was about to polish off my banana and head out," I said while staring at Margaret eager for her agreement.

She looked doubtful for a moment then sighing, gave me a little nod. I hung up with Charlie and rushed upstairs to find something to wear. I brushed my teeth and tied my hair in a ponytail. In less than 5 minutes I was ready to leave. As we pulled out of the driveway, I grew a little remorseful for bullying Margaret into letting me go. Even though I wasn't sure why, it seemed very important to keep my plans with Charlie.

I offered her an apologetic smile but she still looked disappointed and the smile she sent back was a weak one.

"I'm sorry, Aunt Margaret. If you feel that strongly about letting me go, I'll just tell Charlie something has come up when we get there."

"No, it's okay, Lily. You go have some fun. I won't worry too much."

She looked happy that I apologized but whatever had made her want me to cancel the outing still distracted her. A handful of minutes later we arrived at the trailhead where Charlie asked me to meet him. He was already there and looking over the two bikes he brought; checking the air pressure in the tires and wiping the chains with some lubricant. He waved as we pulled up beside him.

"Hey," I said as I hopped out.

"Hey, are you ready to ride?"

"You bet."

"When should I come back?" Aunt Margaret asked.

"You don't have to come back. My mom can give her a ride home. We'll drop her off when we're done."

"Are you sure? It's no trouble for me to pick her up when you're done."

"I'm sure." Charlie grinned. "I already worked it out with my mom."

"Well, do you have a cell phone in case of an emergency?"

Charlie patted a pocket near his shoulder, "Yep, no worries."

I said bye to Margaret and asked Charlie if there was anything I could do. He had me straddle his brother's bike and told me to put my feet on the pedals while he held me and the bike up.

"Roll back a little," he said, "and straighten your leg. That's good... hop off. After I stepped off, he loosened a bolt and yanked the seat up a bit. We went through the procedure again then one more time before he seemed satisfied.

Afterwards he explained the gearing to me and I was completely lost at first. He noticed my confusion and told me, "Don't worry about your left shifter. Leave it where it is and only use the right. All you have to do is click here to make it easier to pedal. If it gets too easy, click this back lever and it will make it harder again." He had me put my hand on the shifter and showed me how to work the levers.

"These are your brakes...front," he made me squeeze the grip, "and back. Got it?" I nodded then he handed me a helmet and buckled his into place. "Let's roll," he said.

It took me a second to get going while the chain found the right gear after all the clicking we'd done during my brief lesson. Once it settled into place, I ran through the gears first all the way down then all the way back up. Afterwards I clicked it down one or two and left it where I was comfortable pedaling. Charlie rode beside me, coaching and offering encouragement. The first mile was fairly straight with no inclines so he had me practice using the gears, reminding me which lever was which.

After a few minutes, he had me focus on something else. "Now try keeping your cadence steady while you're shifting."

"My what?" I asked.

"Find a rhythm to your pedaling and keep it at a steady pace. When you can't keep that pace, then you know it is time to shift either up or down."

"That makes sense," I thought to myself.

It took a while for me to get used to it, though. Occasionally I clicked the wrong lever thinking it was the right one and either made things too hard or too easy on myself. I lost my cadence and had to work myself back up or back down to it. After about 10 minutes I became somewhat accustomed to the levers and realized I was starting to enjoy myself. I grew more and more confident as we moved along and even though I knew he was humoring me, I hoped Charlie was having a good time too.

We went down a hill, up a hill, around a few corners, nothing extreme. As my skills improved Charlie picked up the pace. It took some effort but I managed to keep up with him. Eventually I started shifting automatically and wondered what it would be like if I adjusted the left gears and how they would help or hinder my riding.

I did a little experiment and moved the lever to get to a stronger gear. The change was immediate and though my cadence had slowed I was riding faster without working quite as hard as I was a moment before.

"Ah, ha," I thought and tried the third gear. We were on a level part of the trail and the same thing happened; my cadence dropped and though I wasn't pedaling as fast, I picked up the pace again.

Charlie smiled when he realized what I was up to. He egged me on and everything changed. We started riding much more aggressively. He knew the trails well and told me which obstacles were coming up as we neared them. He called out whenever he thought I would need to change gears or switch chain rings during the different parts of the trail.

I felt absolutely exhilarated. As we raced downhill one time I had a strange sensation of déjà vu. It seemed like I had done this or something very similar before. As our ride continued, I admired how easily Charlie climbed the hills while I struggled and lagged behind. He whipped through the corners, too but I had to break almost to a stop when we came to a tight turn. Charlie seemed to blow right through them. I couldn't imagine how he kept from skidding off the edge every time he hit a bend in the trail.

"How does he do that?" I wondered and smiled. Charlie made it look so easy!

We rode for about 45 minutes altogether. Even though I realized how unlikely it was I would ever keep up with him, I hoped he would take me again sometime. It had been so much fun and it was so exciting to try something new and enjoy it.

When we got back to the trailhead Charlie screeched to a stop and whipped his helmet off, "Are you sure this is your first time mountain biking?"

I was breathless with exertion and the elation it gave me. "Well, actually, I can't be sure-sure but as far as I know this is my first time. I don't really remember much before I moved in with Aunt Margaret."

"Oh, right. Sorry. The accident?"

"You don't have to apologize, Charlie. It sounds a lot worse than it was. Margaret has been super-nice and I'm just happy to be here."

"Me too," he said. "So, is it love at first bike?" We both laughed and asked at the same time, "Do you want to go again?" Another hearty laugh ensued followed by a play-by-play discussion of our ride.

Charlie gave me a few tips and plenty of critiques as well which spilled over into our drive home. When Charlie's mom dropped me off I thanked her for the ride. I made Charlie promise to tell his brother how much I appreciated the loaner bike and asked him to email me the next time he wanted some company on the trails. I waved as their car pulled away and hurried in to share my experience with Margaret.

## Chapter 13

Though it made perfect sense, it still surprised me when I found out Charlie had asked Missy to the formal. They took Margaret and me up on our limo offer along with one other couple. Margaret made a reservation for us and got in touch with each of the parents to work out the details. Meanwhile, Danielle and I sorted out the times and locations for pick-ups and drop-offs. Dani planned on staying at my house and getting ready there. Zach would be at Charlie's so we would pick them up then go to Missy's, Christine's, Jake's and Patrick's. I had everyone email me their addresses and I printed a copy for Margaret to give to the limo service.

Jake hadn't said much to me since he learned we would be going together. He acted polite but there was an awkwardness attached to everything he said and did. It was understandable but made me wonder if the only reason he agreed to take me was because Zach had persisted. Or maybe he just wanted to get back at Brooke. Whatever the reason Jake decided to go through with it, it didn't seem to matter. Our friends had trapped us both and neither was willing to be the one to dash any of their hopes.

The weekend before the formal Margaret took me and Danielle shopping for something to wear. Sometimes it seemed like she looked forward to the dance almost as much as Danielle.

"I'm so excited for you!" Aunt Margaret beamed whenever we needed to talk about our plans.

I'd smile and nod and try sharing her enthusiasm even though I was cringing inside. I lost count of how many times I told myself I should have kept my mouth shut or wished I had followed my instincts and decided not to go at all. It ate away at me and I started feeling envious of the others which made it all the more difficult not to just break the date. They all seemed so natural and happy; Danielle and Zach, Charlie and Missy, holding hands as they walked to class or stealing kisses in the hallway. That was more of what I envisioned when I imagined myself at the Spring Formal; being there with someone I at least had significant feelings for.

I was happy for Danielle and the way she felt about Zach and glad to see them together. I felt the same for Charlie and Missy, too. Even though I didn't care for him other than as a friend, sometimes I wished I had spoken up sooner, before Charlie and Missy got together. It would have been such a relief to have him as a date rather than Jake.

I couldn't stop brooding over my misfortune while Margaret drove us to the mall. As soon as we walked in, she told us she planned to do a little shopping for herself and sent us off to look for dresses. We made agreed to meet at the food court in a couple of hours. With luck, we would find something before then and if not either extend our outing or try a different mall a little further away.

Dani found a dress she liked in just about every store but I tried on one after another only to be disappointed each time. By the fifth store Danielle had gotten thoroughly frustrated with me and I was getting a little antsy myself.

"I'm sorry," I apologized more than once. "I guess I'm just not in the mood for shopping today."

"Seriously? That's the best excuse you can come up with." I shrugged and smiled but Dani realized there was more than I was letting on. "Look, I get it. Jake is worst-case scenario and I know you are only doing this as my friend. I promise it won't be as bad as whatever you're imagining. Jake has been talking to Zach and I know he is going to put his best foot forward. I think he might even like you."

"Ugh, anything but that!"

"Come on, give the guy a break. He's been out from under Brooke's thumb for a few weeks now. He can't be as bad as he was. Surely there's been some improvement."

"If you say so."

"Let's try this one," Dani ducked into the next store.

I browsed the racks for a few minutes and was about to give up when the saleslady approached me. "That man over there wanted me to give you this," she held out a full-length, black slip dress. I turned and looked to where she pointed but no one was there.

"Very funny, Danielle," I thought to myself. I took the dress and headed to the changing room. I shrugged myself into it and as soon as it fell into place I knew I had to have it. The gown fit perfectly, looked exquisite and I couldn't get over how incredible it made me feel.

I stepped out of my stall, "Dani, are you in here?"

"Wow," she exclaimed from behind me, "that dress is amazing! Where'd you get it?"

"Duh, I know you gave it to the saleslady for me."

"Uh, afraid not, I've been in here for the past 10 minutes," she pointed to the stack of dresses she'd been trying on.

"Huh, that's weird. I was browsing the racks and the saleslady came up to me and said a man asked her to give it to me. There was no one else in the store when she tried pointing him out so I thought you were having a little fun."

"Maybe your fairy godfather came to help you get ready for the ball," Dani teased.

"Whatever. Well, I don't care how it got to me, it's mine now, or at least it will be once I pay for it. Are you getting anything here?"

"No, I think my favorite was at the second store. You get yours and I'll grab mine when we head back."

"Okay."

I changed into my clothes and brought the dress to the register. "Oh, yes, here you are," the saleslady handed me a bag from behind the counter.

"What's this?"

"The man who had me give you the dress, he already bought it. Here's the receipt."

It was a cash sale, so it didn't have a name from a credit card printed on it. "Are you sure? I don't know anyone who would do something like that. This is really weird."

Danielle came over and I gave her a quick explanation of what happened.

"Wow, I wish someone would do something like that for me!"

"Are you crazy? For all we know someone in the mall is stalking me. Who would buy me a dress then disappear? And why would you think that's okay and something you want to happen to you?"

"Well, when you put it like that, I wouldn't. Hey, what'd this guy look like, anyway?" Danielle turned to the salesperson.

"Oh, you know, tall, dark; stunning actually."

"Stunning, huh? Know anyone like that?" Dani shrugged the question at me.

"No," I confidently stated even though it gave me an uncomfortable feeling; like I wasn't quite telling the truth.

I thanked the saleslady for her help and shamefully left the store. It seemed so wrong taking the dress but I couldn't bear to part with it either. I kept seeing myself in it over and over again and couldn't wait to wear it to the formal.

"Okay, wipe that guilty expression off your face! It's not like you stole it or anything."

"I know."

"Why aren't you looking on the bright side then?"

"There's a bright side?"

"Yeah! You just got a free dress!"

I shook my head, "I'm sorry. I don't see it like that and I'm sure Margaret won't either. What will I tell her?"

"Don't tell her anything. It's not like she's going to ask." Dani hurried into the second store we visited and bought her dress.

Margaret was a minute or two late so Danielle and I passed the time over a smoothie. When she found us I saw that Aunt Margaret had picked up a few new clothes for herself and a little something from the cooking store as well. "So how'd you girls make out?"

We each held up our shopping bags. "Would you like us to model them for you when we get home?" I asked.

"I'd love that," Margaret smiled.

We gathered our respective bags and headed for the car. As we walked, I peered at every man's face as we passed them by. I wondered who bought the dress and prayed it was just a generous, indiscriminate gesture.

"Maybe it was one of those random acts of kindness you sometimes hear about on the news," I told myself. I hated dwelling on it, because the more I did, the more uncomfortable I felt. I was sure I made the wrong decision and shouldn't have taken the dress.

"How did he guess my size, or did he assume the saleslady would exchange it if it didn't fit?" I wondered.

The more I considered it, the less enthusiastic I was for finding such a great dress. Besides, I couldn't believe I was keeping something from Aunt Margaret again, especially since it seemed like something she would certainly want to know. After a few more minutes of self-crimination I became visibly irritable. Dani nudged me as if to say forget about it.

"Everything alright, Lily?" Margaret glanced at me in the mirror.

"Yeah, fine. I was just thinking Danielle got the better dress," I sighed.

"Right, we'll see about that when we get home. Can you be an impartial judge, Mrs. Donovan?"

"You bet," she smiled back at us both.

Dani and I ran up to my room as soon as Margaret let us in. We both scampered into our dresses and fished through my closet looking for shoes to wear with them. Though she was more petite than me and my shoes were a size or two too big, Dani found a pair that looked decent with her dress. She was hesitant to navigate the stairs in them so she slung them over two fingers and we headed to the kitchen to model our outfits to Aunt Margaret.

She was sipping a cup of tea with her back to us but spun around when she heard us coming down the hallway.

"Oh, my!" she said. "You two look just beautiful." She studied each of us for a moment and I couldn't help wondering if she was somehow disappointed with the dress I wore.

"Don't you love it?" I asked.

"I do, dear, I do but, I guess I'm just being motherly. You look so grown-up and so elegant. I'm not used to seeing you like this. It reminds me that in another year or two you'll be off to college and my time with you is almost up."

"Oh, Aunt Margaret, don't say things like that! You'll make me cry."

Hearing Margaret talk that way was very upsetting, especially with all the other variables that were in play. Danielle and I went upstairs and changed into our regular clothes. I put my dress on a hanger and pulled the bag over it before hanging it in the closet.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I asked Danielle.

Kaley perked right up. She was quite familiar with the word and always ready to go.

"Sure, why not? Hey, what's Margaret making for dinner?"

"Why would you like to stay?"

"Is that even a question?"

I grinned, "I'll ask before we head out."

Kaley raced ahead of us and took a seat at the front door. I let Margaret know what we were up to and when we would be back. I asked what we were having for dinner.

"Chicken tenders," she said. "Would you like to join us, Danielle? I'm sure there will plenty for all three of us."

"I'd love to. Can I call my mom just to be sure?"

Once we made our dinner plans we headed towards the greenway and took our walk.

"Don't worry about the formal," Dani said consolingly. "It's going to be perfect, you'll see."

"I hope so, I really do. I'll make an effort, anyway."

"Well, even if things don't go well with Jake you are going to look amazing in that dress. I bet every guy there will be noticing you and not their dates."

"Let's hope not! I'm already inviting enough trouble!"

We walked for about 20 minutes in one direction then made our turn to head home. It was nice out so we took our time and walked at an easy pace. We talked about school; neither of us could believe there were only a handful of weeks left before the end of the year. We'd be taking finals before we knew it and we talked about our plans for summer break and what we hoped our senior years would be like.

Margaret had mentioned the possibility of getting a beach house for a week or two, if she could find one that would let us to bring Kaley. I couldn't stand the idea of putting Kaley in a kennel, especially since she was so big. I knew a dog her size would find absolutely no comfort in any place willing to board her.

"Do you think you'd like to come with us if we do go?"

"Do you think Margaret would mind?"

"Nah, I'm sure she'd enjoy having you. Nothing is definite yet, though. She's looking for a place that will let us bring Kaley."

"It will have to be a big beach house then!" Danielle emphasized big and gave Kaley a hearty pat.

Dinner was ready by the time we got back. Margaret, Danielle and I sat around the kitchen table and happily enjoyed the dinner Margaret set out for us.

"Mmm, so good Mrs. Donovan. You'll have to give me the recipe so I can have my mom make them sometime.

"Of course. They're quite simple, actually." Margaret went into a brief discussion of how they were prepared.

Dani was not interested in cooking whatsoever. Thankfully, she was thoughtful enough not to give any indication and even managed asking a few relevant questions to keep the conversation going.

"You know," I interrupted, "I've been wondering... and now that we are on the topic of food. I'm starting to think I'd rather go to culinary school than college."

"Wow, really?" Danielle couldn't imagine why anyone would want to do such a thing.

Margaret's response was a little different. "I think that's an excellent idea," she said.

It surprised me that she would support it and so assuredly. "You do?" I asked.

"Well, it's something you enjoy doing and some chefs go on to have really great careers. I bet you would do really well and find plenty of opportunities if you went through with it."

I was ecstatic. It had been on my mind almost all school year. The councilors always questioned us about our post-high school plans. I never really offered a clear intention and had considered a few other things but always came back to cooking. Whenever I considered telling anyone though, it seemed foolish. I imagined all my friends rattling off the typical doctor, lawyer or other high profile career when they were questioned about life after graduation, so chef seemed somewhat lame and not worth mentioning.

We talked a little more about my goals and then turned the conversation and asked Danielle about her plans for the future.

"I'll definitely go to college but other than that, I'm at a loss."

"Well, what do you like to do, Danielle?" Margaret asked.

Dani rattled off a few things, none of which had a career ring to them.

Margaret tried a different approach, "Okay, so what subjects do you excel in?"

"I wouldn't exactly say I excel at anything," Danielle laughed.

We bantered back and forth offering suggestions for Danielle's future. Some of them were pretty funny, like professional bull rider; some had merit like meteorologist and some were just off the charts like astrophysicist.

"Well, it's too bad you don't like cooking, it's will be a shame when you two break-up."

"I know. Can you imagine a life without us joined at the hip?"

"No, I cannot," Margaret said and turned to me, "it's getting late, Lily, let's clean up so we can get Dani home.

## Chapter 14

"You can't be serious?!" I couldn't keep the anger from my voice. It was Friday, the night before our Spring Formal. I looked at Danielle, Charlie and Zach each in turn. We had all gone out for a bite to eat; a treat from Dani to wish me a belated Happy Birthday. Little did I know there was more than one motive. My friends wanted to get me somewhere public so I wouldn't explode at any one of them if they approached me privately.

Jake and Brooke had gotten back together and they were breaking it to me as a group.

"He wanted us to tell you he's taking Brooke to the formal," Zach mumbled and looked away while the others eyed me warily.

I sat there shaking my head in disbelief while his words washed over me. As if that wasn't enough, they added insult to injury and said Jake planned on taking her in our limo.

"What?! There's no way..."

"He said his mom helped pay," Charlie interjected.

"Oh, Charlie! You're not suggesting... It's, it's," I fought to find the right word, "it's heinous!!"

"I'm sorry." Danielle mumbled. She offered her heartfelt reassurance, "I can just imagine how upset you are but it's the Spring Formal, we'll still have a great time. There will plenty of people going stag and you'll have your pick of the litter."

"Pick of the litter, huh? From a litter of leftovers who couldn't otherwise find a date! I can't believe this is happening."

Zach hung his head guiltily and even though he was friends with Jake said he knew this was totally not cool.

"How can..." I took a deep breath remembering myself and lowered my voice, "if this were any of you I would stand up for you! You need to tell him... he can't do this! Tell him we'll give him his money back and he can get his own damn limo!"

"We tried that," Charlie said.

"We did," Dani added, "but he said he already called a few places and they're all booked because it's prom season."

"So what am I supposed to do? Do you really expect me to ride with all you happy couples while I sulk in the corner of the car? By myself! With my ex-date! And his new date! She'll be smiling and laughing the whole way."

"It won't be like that," Danielle promised.

"No! I can't do it. I won't..." I bit my lip and buried my face in my hands.

"Oh, please don't say you're not going. That's just what Brooke wants. Can't you see? I'm sure that's why she waited until the last minute to patch things up with Jake," Dani seized my hand and pleaded with me not to back out. "And your dress; you're going to look amazing! What better way to get through the night than looking your best and killing them with kindness?"

Charlie nodded his agreement, Zach looked thoughtful and Danielle seemed downright dejected at the thought of me not going.

It seemed impossible to keep my resolve under the weight of all their stares. "Alright, alright," I sighed. "Good, God! This will be the crappiest night ever!"

Danielle leapt up and hugged me. Charlie and Zach both looked relieved, "No! We'll get you through it, I promise."

We finished our meals in silence as we contemplated how it would all turn out. We each had different scenarios playing in our minds but no one dared offer them. A few minutes later we paid the check and waited outside for Dani's mom to pick us up and take us home.

Kaley sensed my mood as soon as I stepped through the doorway and cuddled me while I took my coat and shoes off. Margaret looked up when I went to the family room and saw the disappointment in my expression. "Is everything alright, dear?"

For a moment I didn't have any words. Despite myself a pool of tears swelled in my eyes. I may not have had any affection for Jake and never wanted him to be my date for the dance but I never had any inkling that this was how I would get out of it.

While she sat and listened quietly, I confessed it all to Margaret. I had to stop several times to snag a tissue and I apologized more than once for being so upset. It was hard for me to understand why I was so broken-hearted. When the topic of the formal first came up, I didn't even want to go. Then I had the crazy idea to get Dani, Zach, myself and Charlie to go together. I wanted so much for that to have been the plan. How quickly it all changed and I wished I had had a little prescience of mind and kept my first impulse not to go at all.

"Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry for all of this. There's nothing I can say that will make it seem any better than it is but your friends are right. It would be a shame for you not to go, especially after all the plans we've made. Danielle is spending the night with us and there's the lovely dress you bought." I nearly choked on the pang of guilt that swept over me when she mentioned my dress but Margaret didn't notice and went on. "There's something else," she pursed her lips. "I didn't want to tell you but I scheduled a spa day for you and Dani and I hired someone to come by tomorrow afternoon to do your hair and makeup. I wanted to surprise you, but... Oh, my! I am so, so sorry."

"Aunt Margaret! That was so nice of you but you shouldn't have."

I suddenly realized how much everyone was counting on me to go through with the formal. I felt trapped and obligated. It would have killed me to disappoint Dani and Margaret as well as Charlie and the others.

My friends would be so upset and I doubted they would bother hiding their feelings from Jake. Danielle certainly wouldn't. I knew how much it would irritate Zach if she didn't. If she and Zach weren't getting along, it would make Charlie and Missy uncomfortable as well as Christine and Patrick. I pictured the limo ride with them all and wondered who would keep the peace between them if I wasn't in the limo, too. Not only was my Spring Formal ruined but the situation had the possibility of ruining it for all of my closest friends, too.

"Nice work, Brooke!" I thought to myself. I sighed and stood up, "I'm going to take Kaley for a walk."

"Would you like me to come with you?"

"No...thank you. I'll be alright and I won't be long."

I called to Kaley and we headed out on our usual route. The air was nice and refreshing. It was cool and dark; the sky was clear and the moon just full enough to light our way as we walked. I knew I couldn't back out of the formal. It was the only way I could be sure that Brooke wouldn't spoil the night for the rest of my friends. I needed to be there to keep Dani and the others happy but I also wanted to put on a good show for Brooke. There was no way I was going to let her think she had gotten the better of me. If I could just get through the limo ride, the rest of the night would be a piece of cake.

Margaret handed me a cup of tea when I got home. I said a soft thank you and together we sat down at the kitchen table. She didn't ask but I knew what she was wondering. I told her my plans hadn't changed and I still intended to make the most of it.

She smiled, "I know it won't be easy but I'm sure your friends will help you have a good time despite all this."

"They will," I said and smiled weakly.

We talked about our schedule for the morning and sipped our tea. When I finished with mine, I put my cup in the dishwasher and said goodnight to Margaret. I felt so drained from all the underlying stress and couldn't wait to crawl beneath the covers and forget it for a while.

"A spa day, that sounds nice." I closed my eyes and fell asleep envisioning a relaxing morning of massages and facials and pedicures.

I slept surprisingly well and even though the formal and what it might bring was the first thing I thought of when I woke up, I felt pretty optimistic. After rolling out of bed I got dressed and ready to start my day. I put on a pair of comfy chinos and a soft, well-worn t-shirt before I went downstairs and fed Kaley. Once I took care of her, I fixed a bowl of cereal for myself.

Margaret must not have been up very long. There was a pot of coffee still brewing and despite that I never drank it, I loved the smell. It was so warm and friendly, "like a hug in a mug," I smiled as I sat down. I wondered what time Dani was coming by and whether she would be as enthusiastic about our trip to the spa as I was.

After Kaley finished eating she came into the kitchen and kept me company. She lay down beneath my feet and I absently rubbed her back with the tips of my toes until Margaret came in to claim her coffee. She poured herself a cup and asked, "Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I imagined I would."

"That's good. I'm glad you weren't up all night fretting. Danielle will be here soon. You should finish getting ready so we can head out once she's settled."

I nodded and polished off the rest of my breakfast before running upstairs. I brushed my hair and gathered it into a ponytail, then brushed my teeth and called to Kaley for a quick walk.

Dani and her mom were pulling in when I opened the front door so I had Kaley wait while I helped them with all her things.

"Moving in, I see," Margaret teased as we lugged Danielle's various belongings upstairs and stowed them in the guest bedroom.

After we placed the last of her bags inside the doorway Dani flopped down on the bed and sighed with relief.

"I was just about to take Kaley for a walk; do you want to come with us?"

"Sure," She bounced back up and followed me down to the foyer.

Margaret reminded us of our schedule and told us not to be long, "Okay," I called as we stepped out the door, "just business and back."

We walked to the greenway and loitered around while Kaley found a good spot. Danielle was her usual, cheerful self, excited about the spa and the formal. I smiled at her fervor as she babbled about how awesome Margaret was for arranging the day for us.

"I can't wait to be deep-fried and kneaded like taffy!"

"Have you ever been before?"

"No, you?"

"No, but Margaret goes every couple of months. She always looks fabulous when she comes home; relaxed and shimmering from head to toe. She got us a stylist, too, you know, to do our hair and make-up tonight."

Danielle was beside herself, jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas morning, "Aunt Margaret is the best. This is going to be the best day ever."

"I'm sure it will; for some of us anyway."

"Ha, just you wait! Somehow," Danielle smirked and batted her lashes with false innocence, "the word has gotten around about Brooke and Jake and what they did to you. I have a feeling you are going to be the belle of the ball and everyone will make it a point to see that you have a good time. Aside from the limo ride, the rest of the night will be amazing!"

Dani was such a good friend. I'm sure she meant well and I should have been thankful to her for trying to make my night as enjoyable as hers. Unfortunately, it only made me more uncomfortable. I didn't want to have so much attention drawn to myself and what I was being forced to go through.

As we neared the house Margaret reminded me we needed to hurry, so I ushered Kaley inside and hopped in the car with Danielle. We talked intermittently during the half hour drive to the spa. Once we were there Margaret signed us in and said goodbye, "Savor it," she smiled as she waved us on our way.

One of the hosts came over and guided us to the changing room. She assigned lockers for our belongings then handed each of us a small bundle containing our robes and slippers. After stripping down, we eased into them and sat on one of the benches to wait. A few minutes later she returned and took us on a quick tour of the facilities. After being shown each of the different rooms for the treatments we would be receiving she brought us to the first of our appointments – an exfoliating scrub.

When our therapists came and introduced themselves they explained the treatment and told us how it would remove any dead skin cells and leave us with a smooth, healthy glow. They asked us if we had any questions then left so we would have some privacy while we removed our robes and arranged ourselves on the tables. Dani and I tucked ourselves under the soft, cotton sheets and whispered reassurances to one another while we waited.

There was soft music playing and fountains at strategic points in the room. It was semi-dark but bright enough to make out all the various objects surrounding us. After a minute or two we heard a soft rap on the door and the first of our treatments began. We were both nervous at first but the therapists massaged the scrub into our skin section by section. They only folded portions of the sheets over so they could work various parts of our bodies before covering us back up. I never felt naked or exposed and between the scrub, the music, lighting and fountains I found the experience very relaxing.

When we finished our scrub, we went to reflexology. It was not as involved but I enjoyed it almost as much. From there we made our way to another room for our facials and then onto our manicures and pedicures. Our final spa procedure was a deep tissue massage. The therapists used scented oils and heavy, slow strokes to ease any of the tightness or knots we felt in our legs, arms or backs. It was so relaxing that I dozed off once or twice and twitched myself awake whenever I realized I had fallen asleep.

The whole event ended up taking about 4 hours. By the time we finished each of our treatments all I could think about was going home and taking a nap. We started early enough that there would be plenty of time so I asked Danielle what she thought.

"Ugh, I think I could sleep for a week! That was the most incredible experience I've ever had."

"It was pretty awesome, wasn't it?"

We had to wait a few minutes before Margaret came back to bring us home. We spent the time sharing our impressions and favorite parts of the day. I really enjoyed the reflexology but knew the deep tissue massage was the most beneficial since I kept falling asleep in the middle of it. It helped me realize how much tension I had been carrying around with me. I knew I needed to let if all go and accept that Brooke wasn't worth an ounce of the anxiety she had given me.

"So how do you feel?" Margaret asked as soon as she saw us.

Danielle and I both spoke at the same time.

"Sleepy."

"Tired."

Margaret laughed and signed our bill before ushering us out to the car. "Are you girls hungry? We can stop and pick something up along the way or I can make something for you when we get home."

"I'm a little hungry," I said.

"Me, too," Dani concurred.

We opted to eat at home. Margaret put some wraps together for us and served them with apple slices and a handful of berries. We made quick work of our plates and after tidying up told Aunt Margaret our plan to take a nap.

"That's a good idea; it's going to be a long night. I'll wake you up about a half hour before the stylist gets here."

"Perfect," I said. "Thanks for such a great day, Aunt Margaret. I don't think anything could spoil the night for me now. I feel like putty inside and out and I'll just bounce right back from whatever hits me."

Dani and I mounted the stairs and trudged to our respective bedrooms. I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow. I slept incredibly sounding, no dreams, no tossing or turning, just a nice, restful, deep sleep. It took a few minutes for Margaret to wake me because she tried doing it gently hoping I wouldn't wake up too abruptly. Once I came to though, it only took a moment to shed my drowsiness. I felt alert and ready to go as soon as I stood up.

About 15 minutes after I woke Danielle, Kaley announced the arrival of the stylist with her barking. She was friendly, almost to a fault but didn't hesitate letting us know whenever there were strangers around. I opened the door and checked my surprise when I discovered that the stylist was a man. He introduced himself as Allan when I let him in and after studying Dani and I, helped us move the table and all the stools but one from its little nook in the kitchen. In its place he opened a folding table and put what appeared to be a toolbox on top of it then began setting up.

When he finished, "You," he pointed to Danielle and firmly motioned her over.

She gave me a fraidy face and scurried over to take a seat on the stool. He whipped her hair into a ponytail and got to work with some sponges and base make-up. Allan seemed very focused as he worked so I stood still and unobtrusive while I watched him transform her face. Instead of giving her an unnaturally flawless skin tone, he put a very light coating of base on. Her freckles still managed to peek through but the makeup took away almost all the unevenness of color around her eyes and on her cheeks.

Afterwards he used his hand like a palette and rubbed various shades of pink into the back of his palm. Once he blended the shade he wanted, he used a fan shaped brush to sweep the color from his hand onto Dani's cheekbones. It was fascinating to watch and though it seemed like he was working fast, the process actually took quite a bit of time. When he finished with the blush, he took a cloth and cleaned the make-up off his hand.

Next he started lining her eyes; a little pencil here, a little there, blend, a little more pencil, blend, pencil. He balanced his work doing a little to one eye then repeating the same process to the other, making her eyes up in stages. It seemed odd at first but as he finished each step Danielle grew more and more beautiful.

I could feel myself smiling the whole time he worked so Danielle knew he was doing a great job every time she glanced at me. My expression made her a little impatient and I sensed her resisting the urge to burst out of the stool and find the nearest mirror. Before she could suppress herself any longer Allan finished with a final curl of her lashes. She motioned to get up but he laid his hand on her shoulder and said, "Now, about that hair."

He put his first case with his makeup aside and fetched another. This one held a variety of curlers and irons, a blow dryer as well as an assortment of pins, clips and hairbrushes.

He sectioned off her hair. There was a substantial mass of it but he had a practiced hand and it only took a minute or two. As he worked each section, he sprayed some product from roots to ends and used a round brush along with the dryer to blow nearly all the curl out of her hair.

Afterwards he worked several intricate, little braids into Dani's hair from the front of her head to the back. When he finished with the braids, he pulled them and the rest of her hair towards the nape of her neck. From there he wove it all together forming an intricate, almost basket-like pattern. Then he took a few pins from his case and secured his work. To finish the look, Allan placed a few tiny, flower-shaped gemstones at random intervals throughout the braids and basket he created. It was haphazard but somehow gave a nice polished effect to her hairstyle.

"Now, shoo," he said after placing the last gem. "Make sure you don't smudge your face or ruffle your hair when you put your dress on."

Allan did not have to tell her twice, Dani was off like a rocket to admire his work.

"Sit," he commanded jerking his head at me.

I hurried over to the stool and sat like a statue.

"Hmm," he said as he circled me. "Hmm," he said again, "You have an exceptional complexion. Where did you get such flawless skin? I can hardly see a blemish or the hint of a capillary anywhere," he sounded amazed. "I'll be right back."

He left me there on the stool and ran out to his car. He had another case with him when he came back. "We won't need all this for you," he motioned to the case he used for Danielle's makeup.

He didn't bother with any base, just a light dusting of powder and a hint of blush to my cheekbones. When he started in on my eyes, I expected him to be penciling and smudging and repeating like he did with Dani. Instead he applied a light shadow to the entire lid of each eye. Then he worked exclusively with the liner and using a slow, steady stroke applied it to each lid along my lash line. He had me glance up afterwards and swept a very fine line beneath my lower lashes.

When he finished, he fastened false lashes to each of my lids and filled in my brows with a bit of pencil as well. Then he used a deep, red liner on my lips, covering them completely before brushing a light, glossy coat over them. As I pressed them together, Allan stepped back and inspected his work. He seemed satisfied which I found hard to believe with the minimal amount of time he had spent on my face. I was feeling a little cheated and with touch of irritation demanded, "Is that it?"

"It?" He sounded offended. "Well, there's still your hair."

"I'd like a mirror," I said, certain I did not look as classy and elegant as Dani after such a scanty amount of makeup.

"Not yet, this will only take a minute."

He brushed my hair towards the top and back of my head before fastening it into place. I wasn't sure what he was doing but again he finished in record time. I grew downright sullen and could not imagine what he had done that made him seem so smug and secure in the way I looked. As he placed the last of his pins he said, "There."

I was unwilling to wait a moment longer and raced to the nearest mirror, certain I would be disappointed and would need to force him to redo my entire look. When I got to the mirror, I could hardly believe my reflection. Surely something so simple could not look so amazing and surely that could not be me with that bewildered look on my face. I smiled just to be sure.

Allan came and stood behind me, "Stay still a moment," he placed a little rhinestone band across the bundle of hair at the top of my head. "There," he said. I was suddenly ashamed of my snappish attitude as I admired how I looked with my soft cheeks, doe eyes and 60's inspired up do. "I hope you can step into your dress and not have to pull it over."

"Yes," I said. "Allan, thank you so much! I really look amazing."

"Don't thank me, that is mostly Mother Nature's work right there," he pointed to the girl in the mirror.

I felt guilty for the earlier irritation I didn't bother hiding but Allan wouldn't listen to my apology "I'm sorry if I seemed ungrateful. I should have trusted you."

"Eh, eh," he shook his head while he packed all his cases and made for the door. "It happens. Have a good time tonight."

"Thank you. Thank you for everything," I closed the door as he stepped onto the walkway.

Margaret came to the top of the stairs when she heard me heading up to get dressed. "Oh, my," she gasped. "It's the perfect look for you!"

I smiled and felt myself glowing with pride. Danielle came to view Allan's handiwork. "Whoa!" was all she managed to get out.

"You'd better hurry and get dressed dear. I'm sure the limo will be here soon."

"Thanks, Aunt Margaret. This is turning out to be one of my best days ever."

I hurried to my bedroom and wriggled into my dress. I couldn't reach behind to zip it all the way up so I called to Danielle and asked her to finish it for me. She stepped back afterwards and admired me from head to toe. "You have no idea how jealous I am right now," she smiled.

I circled around her, "You have nothing to be jealous of. You've never looked better! Zach will be beside himself wondering how he ever got so lucky."

Just as we finished complimenting one another Margaret called upstairs that our ride had come. We hurried down and Margaret snapped a few dozen pictures while we gathered our coats and clutches and whatever else we thought we might need.

We stopped at Charlie's first. He and Zach were waiting on the porch for us and stood up as the limo pulled in. We didn't bother getting out since the more we moved the more we invited a mishap to our carefully constructed looks. Zach settled into the limo beside Dani and was dumbstruck. He couldn't take his eyes off her and couldn't think of a single word of praise to express his appreciation.

Charlie's approval was simple and effective though, "You two look like you just stepped off the red carpet."

"Aww, thanks Charlie!"

"Save a dance for me," he said as he turned and grinned at Danielle.

"Me too," Zach piped up.

I eyed Dani. She must have made everyone and their dates promise to help keep me busy and distract me from worrying about Brooke and her attempt at ruining my night.

"They're just the beginning!" she nudged me.

"Oh, really?" I smiled and shrugged acceptance. It was too late to turn back or prevent Dani from doing whatever she'd already done.

From Charlie's we drove to Missy's, then Christine's, Jake's and Patrick's houses. Brooke lived closest to the school, so she was thankfully the last stop and I didn't have to spend more than a few minutes with her and Jake together. Jake avoided making eye contact with me and had very little to say to anyone else in the car. It seemed obvious the others were making him feel the full weight of his desertion.

Missy and Christine gushed over our transformations. We heard, "It's so classy," or, "It's such a timeless look," more than once. Dani and I told them how we spent our day at the spa and colorfully explained all our pampering. Danielle rambled on and on about Allan and his mastery of hair and make-up. She hardly ever wore makeup and never managed to tame her hair in any way other than her standard messy bun.

"If I could get myself to look this good all the time, I'd never see the light of day without makeup," she laughed.

Brooke didn't join the conversation the rest of us girls were having but she seemed envious of our experiences with Allan and the day at the spa. I felt so superior at that moment I could have cared less that she was even with us. She and Jake seemed nothing more than shadows stuffed into the corner of the limo; they were there but completely unobtrusive.

When we got to the school, there was a bit of a logjam. We had to wait several minutes for a few other limos to move away from the carpool lane before our driver could pull in. After he stopped, he came around and opened our door. Jake and Brooke were sitting at the far end of the limo but made a dash to get out before any of us even stirred. They stepped on a few toes on their way but no one seemed to mind just as long as they disappeared.

The limo driver bent down and reached for Dani's hand. He helped her out and Zach immediately followed. The driver offered his hand to me next then Missy and Christine, Charlie hopped out afterwards and Patrick came last. Charlie took Missy on one arm then glanced over his shoulder and held out his other for me. I gratefully took it while Danielle and Zach led the way into the school.

The student council had transformed the gymnasium for the night with lights and decorations hanging from all the rafters. There were bunches of balloons strategically placed at intervals along three of the walls. Along the fourth wall were several festively decorated tables holding buckets of ice and beverages along with plates of assorted finger foods. Numerous couples were already gathered in the center of the gymnasium and were conquering the dance floor. Others were gathered in small groups from one end of the gym to the other. A local cover band played a decent rendition of a classic ballad as they spread out across the stage.

In spite of all my misgivings it was exciting to be there. Charlie released my arm, "Please excuse me," he said before sweeping Missy out onto the dance floor. Dani tugged on Zach while Christine and Patrick moved away to greet some other friends. I stood there alone for a minute and while I wondered what to do someone tapped on my shoulder, "Would you like to dance?" It was a boy named Marshall who I recognized as one of Danielle's friends.

"Sure," I smiled, eager to not seem so lost in the midst of all the happy faces surrounding us.

"You look incredible," he smiled down at me. He was very tall and a little clumsy but cute and a welcome distraction.

"Thanks, you clean up nice yourself," I said with a touch of humor, hoping it would put him at ease. It seemed to work and we made a fair amount of small talk while we traced our little pattern of circles on the dance floor.

When the song ended, he thanked me and pointed to where his group of friends had stationed themselves. "If you get lonely, that's where I'll be," he said with a smile.

I turned to search the crowd for Danielle. When our eyes met, she gave me a quick thumbs up and a huge grin to let me know Marshall was in on her plan. I smiled back before making my way towards the refreshments. I walked along the bins of ice until I found one with bottled water. After drying off my selection I sipped carefully hoping to preserve my lipstick. I scanned the dance floor and sought out my friends so I'd know where they'd be when I wanted to join them. I found Dani with Zach, Charlie and Missy dancing together in a little crowd near the middle of the floor.

Just as I finished my drink and started towards them, I noticed Brooke and Jake in the corner nearby. Brooke was tugging on Jake's arm, begging him to get on the floor with her.

"Jake must not be much of a dancer," I thought to myself. They were together earlier while I danced with Marshall, so he must have been one of those slow song only guys. Brooke was clearly disappointed and grabbed the next boy that walked by then dragged him onto the floor leaving Jake scowling in their wake. She was full of smiles and seemed to care less about her date than she did about having fun. She looked to be having a little too much fun for Jake's liking. As I watched her she became more and more provocative with her moves and Jake grew increasingly annoyed seeing her fool and flirt with her partner.

"This won't end well," I thought to myself. I decided that rather than ruining my night they were well on their way to spoiling their own. I shrugged and shuffled across the dance floor to join my friends. The party had grown a bit. Christine and Patrick were dancing with the rest of the group and the expanded crowd gave me a little more confidence in my own dancing. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves and I realized I had gotten the better deal after witnessing the recent actions and reactions taking place between Brooke and Jake.

When the band slowed things down again another of Dani's friends quickly stepped up and kept me on the dance floor with the other couples. Danielle grazed my elbow as Zach whirled her around, "See," she said, "I told you we would make sure you had a good time."

I was having a good time too, a surprisingly good time. After we'd all been on the dance floor for about an hour, we mutually agreed we needed to take a break. Danielle and I made our way to the restrooms to freshen up while the guys found seats so we could have a bite to eat and drink when we got back.

"I can't tell you how many compliments I've heard about you tonight. Everyone thinks you have the most amazing dress and that you look absolutely gorgeous," Danielle sounded breathless with excitement when she told me.

"Ha," I replied, "I haven't gotten a single compliment all night, at least not one that wasn't directed at you."

"That's because it's too intimating for anyone to say anything to your face. And I know the only reason anyone bothered to say anything nice about me is because I'm your friend. You look like a movie star," I shook my head at her, "no, really, you do," she insisted.

"If you say so but honestly, there are plenty of other people here that would wear that title better than me."

"Like who?"

"Like you, for one."

"Ugh, I walked right into that didn't I?" Dani laughed.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter, anyway. Are you having a good time?"

"The best."

"Me too, and that's all I hoped for after everything that's happened. Let's get back to the others."

We linked our arms and rejoined our friends. The guys stood up and offered us their seats which we gratefully accepted. I sipped another bottle of water and watched the people coming from and going to the dance floor. It was nice to see everyone so dressed up. I smiled at the guys and girls I knew or even just recognized. The ones that caught my eye smiled back or nodded a slight greeting. After a few minutes Danielle announced she was getting restless and motioned Zach to head back out on the floor.

I admired their moves as they danced together a few yards from where I sat. I wasn't in a hurry to be up again so soon so I tapped my foot and drank my water while my eye continued wandering over the crowd. Unfortunately, I noticed Brooke and Jake again. They were having an argument on the other side of the gymnasium. It wasn't something I wanted to see but it was hard to turn my eyes away. They stood near the main doorway and just as the music died down Brooke raised her hand and slapped Jake across the face. Even though there was plenty going on all around them it was obvious that everyone in their vicinity heard it clear as a bell and they all turned their heads in Brooke's direction.

She looked from one face to the next to the next then whirled around eager to get away from all the curious stares. The band started playing again, it was another ballad and it acted like a signal for everyone to resume the festivities. She was hiding her face so Brooke didn't see that someone was standing in the doorway searching the crowd and about to step into the gymnasium. She walked right into him and raised her head looking dazed and embarrassed by the mishap.

My breath caught in my chest and I felt a little dizzy and lightheaded. Some shred of a memory was forcing its way out.

Brooke looked up into the stranger's face but he didn't seem to see her. She tried getting his attention, to apologize or, "What is she doing?" my mind shouted. It looked like she was asking him to dance but he wasn't paying any attention to her. She reached for his hand as if she planned on dragging him onto the dance floor. The stranger grabbed Brooke's wrists and gently forced her arms down in a very matter-of-fact manner. His reaction seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Then he looked down at her and gave her a slight glare of disapproval before stepping aside and moving away from her.

Another of Dani's friends, Kevin, approached me where I was sitting and stood in front of me, momentarily obstructing my view. He asked me to dance and it took a moment for me to realize that was what he was doing. His expression was full of confusion as he stared down at me while he waited for my reply. My heart pounded in a strange anticipation and without thinking I stood up. Kevin smiled thinking I had accepted his invitation and held his hand out but instead of taking it I tilted up on my toes and looked over his shoulder. The familiar stranger was right behind him. Kevin turned around, "Oh, sh..!" he caught himself. "Sorry, I didn't know you were there," he stuttered.

"It's quite alright," the man smiled. He had a single rose bud in his hand and reaching around Kevin he pinned it to the strap of my dress.

"Michael," I whispered in disbelief.

## Chapter 15

His expression was full of affection as he took me in his arms and tucked me under his chin. "Elayna," he spoke my name so softly it was inaudible to anyone but myself. His voice unlocked my memories and they came flooding back. My mind was feverish with the overload of emotions and I nearly cried, I was so happy and confused. Michael turned to Kevin, "Would you excuse us a minute," he asked, gracious and apologetic.

"Yeah, no problem," Kevin shrugged and stepped away.

There were a million things I wanted to say but Michael put his finger on my lips. "Let me talk first," he reached for my hand and led me from the gymnasium. Once we were in the hallway, he stopped me in front of the office and pointed to our reflection in one of the windows. "No one will see me the way you do."

I looked in the glass and there I was but I wasn't standing with Michael. Well, it was Michael but a somewhat younger Michael. He looked 19 or 20 at the most. I admired us for a moment then turned and smiled up at him. "I like you better the way I see you."

He seemed nervous but quickly collected himself then stepped back and studied me. "My," he breathed, "I knew you would be a beautiful woman when you grew up but I underestimated how very much so," his eyes shone with admiration. "You wore my dress," he smiled as he reached for my hand and held it over my head. He gave me a gentle twirl, "It looks perfect on you."

"Oh," I said, "of course! That was you," what a relief it was learning he had bought it for me.

"I wish I could have given it to you myself but you were with your friend, and Margaret would never forgive me if I had. I've missed you so much, Elayna! If you only knew how many times I've resisted the urge to come and visit you," his words sounded earnest and heartfelt. "I haven't been able to stop worrying about you ever since..." he broke off unwilling to finish the thought. "It's better that I didn't, though. I would only have been a distraction and kept you from enjoying your life with Margaret. Has she been good to you? Have you been happy living with my mother?"

"Everything has been wonderful. Margaret has taken such good care of me. I love her, Michael. I really do."

"It's so nice hearing you say that." He looked thoughtful for a moment, "And Kaley, how is your puppy doing?"

"She's absolutely enormous now and follows me everywhere!" I shook my head, "You can't imagine how big she's gotten! It's very intimidating; most people move to the other side of the street when they see us coming. She's always been an angel though, all bark and no bite."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. You'd be surprised how quickly things would change if she ever thought you were in any danger. Was that your boyfriend I stole you away from?"

"Oh, no, Michael, I don't have a boyfriend. I never have."

"Never?"

"Never."

"But why, you're so beautiful? Surely they are lining up in droves hoping to gain your affection?"

I blushed and smiled, "I have forgotten many, many things Michael," my voice softened, "but I don't think I have ever forgotten you," I looked away. "There isn't a single person in this world that could make me feel the things I've felt for you."

"I'm so sorry, Elayna. For everything. I wish I had known; I wish I had understood and accepted..."

Tears swelled in my eyes. It sounded like he was rejecting me.

He gently took my chin and forced me to meet his eyes. "Oh, no. Please don't cry," he whispered bringing my fingertip to his lips. He brushed my knuckles with a kiss. "I only meant... it's the same for me. It goes both ways. I only wish... I wish it had been different; that things didn't happen the way they happened."

"Lily, there you are!" Danielle called from the doorway.

I blinked my tears away, forced a smile and waved to her, "What do I tell her?" I looked at Michael for help. He pointed to the window reminding me what Danielle would see. By the time she reached us I came up with what I hoped was a viable story, "Hey Dani, this is Michael. We met a few years ago, when I took Kaley to obedience school. We were in the same class together. He just came home from college and decided to look me up."

"I stopped by your house last week but your aunt said you were out biking with your friend, Charlie, if I remember right." Michael took up a bit of the explanation. "She told me all about your prom plight and thought it would be a nice surprise if I popped in hoping I could help."

"Isn't that sweet?" I asked Danielle.

"Actually, it's our Spring Formal," she said as she eyed Michael suspiciously. He looked terribly handsome as he stood there laying on the charm and she couldn't help smiling. "Well, any friend of Lily's is a friend of mine," she said and extended her hand. "I'm Lily's best friend, Danielle," she threw some weight on best so there would be an understanding between her and Michael. She wanted him to know she would be looking out for me.

Zach appeared in the doorway, "Are you guys coming back or what?"

Dani motioned with her head, "What do you say?"

I cocked my head at Michael inquiringly, "Lead the way," he said and placed my hand in the crook of his arm.

Danielle gave Zach a quick peck as we reentered the gymnasium. They trotted onto the dance floor and regained the group of friends we'd been passing the night with.

"Well, let's see what you've got," Michael grinned down at me. I was a mediocre dancer at best and quite conscious of that fact. Michael sensed my hesitance and took the initiative. He put his hands on my hips and a little thrill ran through me as he swayed me side to side. Somehow his touch emboldened me. I relaxed and let myself follow his lead. We caused a little scene and the other couples stepped back to give us more room and to admire our moves. When the song ended, we received a few nods of approval and a handful of smiles before the next song started up. Thankfully, it was another ballad and it gave me a chance to catch my breath.

"Where did that come from?" I wondered out loud.

"I bring out the best in you," Michael teased.

He held one of my hands to his chest while his free hand rested on my hip. I couldn't stop smiling as I gazed up into his eyes. I felt like I had just come home after a very long vacation. It was as if all my favorite things were suddenly right in front of me and I couldn't wait to rediscover them all again.

"Michael, where have you been? Why did you stay away so long?"

"I promised Margaret," he apologized. "We both decided it was for the best."

The song came to an end, "This is all too much for me right now," I motioned to everything going on around us. "Can we go somewhere and talk?" I asked.

He took my hand from his chest and brought it to his lips, "I'd like that."

"I'll tell my friends. We can meet up with them later. We're all going out for a bite to eat after the dance."

I tracked down Danielle and Zach and told them my plans. Danielle glanced at Michael then back at me, "Are you sure?" she asked. "Do you really want to leave so soon?"

I just smiled and turned to Michael. He twined his fingers in mine and we made our way through the crowd and out to the parking lot. When we got to his car, he opened my door and helped me in then glided around the hood and settled into the driver's seat beside me.

"Where are we meeting your friends?"

"We have a reservation at the Italian restaurant not far from here."

"Ah, yes. I know it. When do you need to be there?"

I glanced at the clock, "In about two hours."

He nodded then pulled the car out. I let myself sink into the passenger's seat too overwhelmed to care where we were going. It was a relief getting away from the crowd and noise of the dance. The further we drove the more relaxed I became. My mind wandered through all the things I wanted to say but I couldn't decide where to begin.

"You haven't changed at all, Michael. You're just the way I remember you," I looked him over as he drove.

"This is how I will always be, Elayna. You know that. You haven't forgotten, have you?"

"No, Michael, I haven't. I may not have grasped the complete truth at first but it never mattered to me," I paused hoping he wouldn't confuse the apprehension in my voice. "We're not so different though, are we?" I begged for reassurance.

He took my hand and gave it a sympathetic squeeze, "We are very different Elayna and I'm not sure we will ever..."

He didn't finish the thought it didn't keep me from understanding. After several minutes Michael pulled into a driveway and stopped in front of a sprawling single story home. It distracted me from everything else I'd been about to say.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Well, sometimes it's my home."

"You mean you've been this close all these years and I never knew."

He laughed, "You weren't meant to."

He kissed my cheek and hopped from the car. Hardly a millisecond passed before he opened my door and helped me out. He unlocked the front door to the house and handed me inside. A row of dim lights lit the wide hallway with a soft glow and reflected off the tiled floor. I looked left and right as Michael led me down the short passage towards the living area. The floor plan was open so you could see almost the entire length of the house as one room spilled into the next. A handful of low, half-walls gave a sense of separation between the different areas. Most of them were wide enough to act as shelves and held a profusion of plants, books, pictures and other decorations.

I took it all in at once while Michael watched me closely, waiting to hear my opinion. "It's very beautiful; simple and elegant but homey, too. I love it."

"Good, I really hoped you would one day."

"So, you weren't going to stay away forever?"

"No, of course not but I wasn't sure... after everything that happened. I wasn't sure what you wanted."

"Oh, Michael, you know! You know! How could you not know? There never has been anyone else. There will never be anyone else. I've tried, just to fit in; I've tried caring for someone but now I understand why I've never been able to...that I never will be able to."

I threw my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. He absently took the pins out of my hair and it fell around my shoulders in little cascades. I savored his touch as he stroked the loose strands and comforted me. Before I realized what I was doing, I stood on my toes and kissed him. Not a safe, soft kiss like we had shared in the past but a deep, passionate one. My heart pounded and my insides were swimming in an all-encompassing elation.

"Elayna, you need to stop," he moaned. "It can't be like this. Not for us. Not now. Not yet."

I refused to accept it, "No. No! It has to be! It has to be like this. It must be! It doesn't make any sense to wait! Not for either of us. I will never have feelings like this for anyone else, I can't. I won't," I insisted.

I took the pin from the rose he gave me and watched the flower fall to the floor. He sucked in his breath when I pricked the tip of my finger and held it to his lips. I whispered in his ear, "It must be." Michael sighed and with a sudden disregard to propriety, swept me up and carried me to the nearest bedroom. As he put me back on my feet, he turned me away. His fingers brushed my back and the pressure of his lips caressed my neck as he slid the zipper of my dress down. My skin rippled with pleasure as I relished the sensation. I always imagined I would be terrified no matter who I shared this experience with but he was so careful, so gentle. My mind and body seemed at peace and welcomed everything Michael did to me. He brushed the straps from first one shoulder then the other and my gown fell to the floor.

I stepped out and turned to face him. He fumbled with his jacket and let it slip off his arms while my fingers loosened his tie and stripped it from his neck. As he unbuttoned his shirt, I boldly reached out and urged his pants down while I covered him with him with kisses. I stepped back and admired him. I had never seen anything so beautiful. Every single feature beckoned and invited me to touch and smell and taste him. I ran my fingers through his hair and across his shoulders and over his chest.

He smiled softly then lifted me and laid me on the bed. We lost ourselves in our ecstasy and passion for one another and it was so much more than I ever imagined. When it was over I felt like I was drifting in a sea of happiness and sighed contentedly.

"I love you," I thought to myself, afraid to say it out loud as I drowsed beside him.

"I love you, too," he whispered and took my face in his hands. He pressed his lips to mine and for a moment it was as if I could look into his mind and see that what he said was true.

"Your friends are going to worry about you," he steered me back to reality.

"Oh, God! What time is it?"

"No need to panic. It's not quite that late!" he chuckled. "Here," he stood up and handed me out of the bed. He picked up my dress and shook it out. As he bent down, he held it out for me so I could step in. The caress of his fingers gliding up my spine when he slid the zipper up made me want him all over again.

"There's no time for that, though," he admonished. He tugged his pants on while I found his shirt and tossed it over his shoulders.

Once we finished dressing, he pinned my hair back up. He was surprisingly dexterous and did an unexpectedly good job.

"Do this often?" I asked half-jokingly, half jealous of the idea he might have practiced the task before.

"First time," he assured me and kissed me on the cheek. He stood me in front of the mirror and together we admired his handiwork.

"Well, thank goodness for professional make-up," I grinned, "no one will ever suspect."

"Oh, I bet they will," he teased, "that glow is unmistakable."

I pretended to be shocked, "Michael?!"

"What? It's true," he laughed out loud.

I had never seen Michael so happy; truly happy. In all my memories, through all the years of knowing him, something had always seemed to be hanging over him and keeping his emotions in a rigid check.

"We need to hurry," he said and motioned me toward the front door.

"Eager to get rid of me, huh?"

"I would keep you if I could; you know I would but if you don't make it to dinner, what do you think will happen?"

I imagined Danielle and her frantic fingers calling Margaret to tell her I left with a guy named Michael who I met at obedience school and she hadn't seen me since. "Yes, let's go, go, go." I practically ran to the door.

Michael was there before me and flamboyantly opened it for me, "After you," he bowed.

There wasn't any traffic and we arrived just as the others were stepping out of the limo. It surprised me that Brooke and Jake were still with the others. At some point after Michael and I left they must have made-up.

"Hey," I caught Dani's eye as Zach helped her out of the limo.

"Oh, good, you made it."

"Yeah, we just drove around for a bit and talked," I pursed my lips hoping to suppress my guilty grin. I imagined it told a very different story.

Jake tucked his arm around Brooke's shoulder as she eyed us with a look of wonder, "You're that guy from the dance! The one that almost knocked me over. You two know each other?" She asked with a repugnant glare.

When she turned from me to Michael her expression softened and she stood there looking dazed and puzzled by whatever she was thinking.

"Brooke, Jake, this is my, Mi..." I wasn't sure how to introduce him – as my friend, my boyfriend...

"Michael, just Michael," he offered as he shook first Jake's hand, then Brooke's. He caressed the back of her wrist with his thumb and held on a moment longer than necessary. When he turned his back to them Michael flashed me a devious, little grin. It made me realize something more had taken place than a simple introduction. I was dying to ask but held my tongue and hoped he would explain later.

We made our way into the restaurant and told the hostess we were there for our reservation. She examined our party and guessing correctly that we just came from the formal, scanned her seating chart. It looked like a dry erase map of the dining room. She took a little chamois cloth and removed some notations from one section of the chart and scribbled them down in another. I suspected she was moving us to a different, less desirable part of the restaurant either by the bathrooms or in a high traffic area near the kitchen. Or maybe she had a preconception we wouldn't tip well enough and decided to put us with one of her least favorite servers.

Michael stepped forward and politely asked where the restrooms were. The hostess looked up and smiled, "Oh, they are all the way to the back of the restaurant and to the right."

"Thank you," he nodded and moved away from the group.

The hostess shook her head in a slightly disoriented manner, "Oh, yes, MacDowell party." Dani's mom had made the reservation for us, "Right this way everyone," she smiled, her attitude infinity improved.

She led us to a cluster of tables arranged near the middle of the dining room. They sat a little apart from the rest of the dining area, with plenty of room for anyone who might need to navigate around them, "Will this do?" She looked at each of us for approval. No one objected, so she pulled the chairs out one by one and placed menus at each setting as we took our seats. "I'll let your server know you're here. Is there anything I can get for you while you're waiting?"

Michael came back and stood behind me, "Sparkling water and limes, please." He laid his hands on my shoulders and kissed my cheek as he took the chair beside me.

Everyone watched him and they all looked somewhat confused. This was the first time any of them had seen me with someone romantically. I'm sure it seemed strange to them, especially since I had never spoken about Michael and as far as they were concerned we were strangers. The level of affection Michael was showing me made Dani downright suspicious. I didn't want to worry and let it spoil the moment but sensed she might say something before the night was over.

Charlie noticed Danielle's tension, too, and took the initiative hoping to get a conversation going, "So, Michael, where do you go to school?"

The question caught him off-guard but the hostess returned with the bottles of water Michael requested and glasses all around. She poured for each of us and placed the limes at strategic intervals along the table. The brief interruption gave him a moment to recover.

"I'm studying economics up North. I won't bore you with the details, but really it's just math. How about you guys? Have any of you thought about life post high school."

I spoke up first, eager to keep the conversation going and steer it away from Michael, "I'm planning on applying to the Culinary Arts Academy."

"Culinary Arts?" Brooke mumbled wonderingly.

Other than Dani none of my friends knew I was interested in cooking and I saw the same curious expressions on everyone else at our table.

Michael looked very pleased by this new knowledge. As Margaret's son he was quite familiar with her prowess in the kitchen and must have realized how much she influenced my decision.

I fielded a few questions from the group before our waitress came by to introduce herself and rattle off the evening's specials. Michael turned to me, "What would you recommend I order?"

"Ooh, uh," I opened the menu and quickly scanned the entrees. I played along and asked what he was partial to then made a few suggestions. "I'm partial to you," I almost jumped when I heard the soft resound of Michael's voice in my head. He wasn't looking at me but I noticed the smile playing on his lips and knew I hadn't imagined it.

"Is everything okay?" Danielle looked at me oddly and I realized I had momentarily slipped into a giddy stupor.

"Oh, yeah, just thinking... it's so nice to be here with everyone." Then I tried directing a private sentiment to Michael, "Though I'd rather be almost anywhere else if I were alone with you."

I saw him raise his brows over his menu and realized I succeeded. It was an invigorating rediscovery. The waitress asked if anyone would like to order an appetizer. Charlie and Michael each ordered something for the group before the waitress excused herself to give us a few more minutes to decide on our entrees.

After she left quiet discussions took place between the various couples while everyone worked out what they would like to eat. I wondered how Michael would handle dinner, would he order and not eat, or excuse himself somehow. I hoped whatever he chose it wouldn't be too obvious. Danielle had not been disguising her suspicion of him. We were not acting like friendly acquaintances from a few years back. Our familiarity with one another appeared to go well beyond being caught up in the moment. I saw the distrust in Dani's eyes and did my best to ignore it. Michael whispered another question to me about the menu. I put mine aside and leaned towards him. We bent our heads together as he pointed something out on his menu. When I tried to steal a quick kiss, Dani interrupted it.

"You two seem rather cozy together," there was a touch of sting in her statement and I couldn't decide if she meant it that way or not.

Surprisingly, Brooke came to our defense before I had a chance to respond. "Oh, come on, it's formal night, they're just having some fun, right Jake," she gently elbowed him to back her up.

"Yeah, formal night, fun, nothing wrong with that," he bent over and kissed Brooke's cheek. I hadn't noticed until she spoke but Brooke seemed relaxed, confident and happy. I cocked my head at her and believed I saw real warmth in her eyes; when she looked at Jake, or the others or even me. She acted friendly and seemed completely at ease.

"Huh," I thought to myself.

"You're welcome," Michael's voice echoed in my thoughts again.

I smiled and put my hand on his knee giving it a little squeeze. The waitress came back and took everyone's order. As she scribbled down the last of her notes the appetizers arrived and she helped place them along with plates for everyone. It was late and I wasn't particularly hungry, so I passed on having anything for the moment.

Michael didn't take anything either but he did sip at his water and managed to maintain a comfortable level of conversation with the others. I decided it was a good time to freshen up and excused myself. Michael stood and helped me from my chair.

"I'll come too," Dani popped out of her seat and tossed her napkin on the table.

When we got to the restroom she didn't hold back, "So, obedience school, huh, haven't seen one another for years. You're acting a little too friendly if that's the truth."

"I know but it feels so nice. He's super-sweet and,"

"And I think he is leading you on."

"What? Don't be ridiculous."

"Lily, I'm sure he realized how vulnerable you would be because of the whole Brooke/Jake/you situation. He is just taking advantage of the damsel in distress thing you've got going on right now. What do you even know about him? How long is he here for, when is he going back to school, maybe he already has a girlfriend, did you even bother to ask?"

"Danielle, really, I appreciate what you're trying to do. You think I'm going to get hurt, I get it, but it's not like that."

"Did you sleep with him tonight?"

My jaw dropped, "Why would you ask that? It's none of your business!"

"God, you did!! You'll never see him again; you realize that don't you? After tonight, he'll take his good looks and his charm and he'll disappear. I think you're making, no, you've made, a huge mistake."

My eyes swelled with tears, "You're wrong," I looked away.

"Am I?" She asked as she turned on her heel and made her way out of the restroom and back to the tables.

Our food was arriving by the time I regained my composure and returned to the table. I had no appetite though and just pushed my dinner around on my plate. I joined the conversation whenever it seemed necessary but mostly sat reflecting on what Dani had said. Michael masked his concern well but I noticed a little nudge in my mind from time to time. I recognized his attempt to uncover whatever was drowning the buoyant happiness I openly expressed just a few minutes earlier. I hesitated to share because I would never doubt him or his feelings. Unfortunately, I couldn't pretend it didn't bother me that there was no realistic way to defend Michael to Danielle. She had no intention of hiding her animosity. She sent little barbs of distrust to where he sat across the table and every little stab at Michael felt like a stab at me.

"So, Michael, what are the people like up North, anything special?" I knew Dani meant anyone special and tossed a please behave look at her.

"No, not really. People are pretty much the same wherever you go. Lily's from the North, though, and she's something special," he put his hand over mine.

It was an obvious response and far from satisfied Danielle, "When do you plan on going back?" she asked.

"I'm not sure yet. I'm not in any hurry, though."

She let the conversation drop for the moment and continued eating her dinner and chatting with the others. The topic of colleges came up again and I heard Brooke mentioning her interest in either applying to an arts or theatrical school. Jake seemed a little surprised and disappointed.

"I thought you were going to State with me?"

"Well, I haven't made any decisions yet. I've always imagined I would go to a 4-year school and get a degree and fall into some career doing something. But after Lily said culinary school, I mean who does that?"

At first it offended me but as she continued, I realized what she was trying to say. It never occurred to her, going to school for something she would actually enjoy doing. Expressing my desire to study for a less traditional career and do something I had enthusiasm for seemed to have been a catalyst. It got her thinking of a more agreeable path to pursue.

"Well, it's your decision," I turned from Brooke and looked to Dani, "and no one should decide what is right or wrong for you. You're the only one who knows the truth of your emotions and where to steer your passions."

"Just don't steer them into a tree. Ouch!!" Danielle laughed even though she was the only one who found the humor in her words.

We finished our dinners and since it was getting late everyone passed on dessert. We asked for our checks. Michael motioned when the server returned and insisted on paying for everyone.

"I had a great time tonight getting to know all of Lily's friends. I want to thank you for being so kind and letting me intrude on your evening."

"That's very generous, Michael but really, you shouldn't," I put my hand on his arm as he handed his card to the server.

"Hey, thanks, Michael," Charlie and Zach had no problem accepting a free meal. Jake acted a little hesitant but Brooke persuaded him it was fine, "I saw his car when they pulled up. He can afford it, trust me," she whispered.

Missy and Christine decided to use the restroom before we all left and excused themselves. Everyone else retreated to the lobby though I elected to stay with Michael. Once we were alone, I gained a brief respite from all my anxiety.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

"Yes, of course," I smiled at him. "Danielle's worried, that's all."

"She's a good friend."

"Yes, she is and she certainly means well but I have no way of explaining you to her. Either I have been keeping you a secret from her all these years, or you show up out of the blue with malicious intentions and in my sorrowful state I fall for your good looks and charm only to end up with nothing but regret."

"I see."

I wondered if I should have told him because he suddenly lost all expression. He seemed to be considering all the difficulties we would have to face if we continued seeing one another. He looked circumspect all of a sudden, as if he just realized what a huge endeavor it would be. It would be impossible to keep him secret from Margaret. He could cast a glamour on my friends but Margaret would certainly recognize Michael no matter what guise he chose. He signed the check and abruptly stood up, eager to leave.

"Michael?" Now I was the one with all the worry.

He reached out his hand and helped me up. As he guided me to the lobby, I saw that everyone was still there, waiting for the limo.

"You should go with your friends," Michael whispered in my ear and kissed me on the cheek. Before I could object, he vanished.

Everyone piled into the limo while I stood there in a sea of disorientation wondering what just happened. Dani snapped me out of it when she called me to hurry and get in. I sat in shock during the entire ride. Conversations took place all around me while Danielle held my hand hoping to soothe me. We dropped our friends off one by one and I drew deeper and deeper into myself. Eventually it was just me and Danielle and a silent five-minute drive from Charlie's to my house.

When we got home, the driver helped us out. We thanked him and remembered the envelope Margaret had given us to cover the cost of the limo and the tip for the driver. Dani handed it to him and took my elbow as she guided me inside. Kaley was waiting for me and Margaret was up, too. She asked us about our night and I prayed Danielle understood my don't-say-a-word-squeeze.

"Best night ever!!" She chirped.

"We had a great time, Aunt Margaret, thank you for everything."

Dani stifled a yawn and muttered how sleepy she was, "Me too," I concurred and we trudged upstairs to get ready for bed. I hastily changed out of my dress and into a pair of lounge pants and top. Kaley was following me and I decided she might need a quick walk.

"I'll be right back," I held the leash up for Margaret.

"Okay, I'm heading up to bed. I look forward to hearing all about it in the morning."

"You will," I promised then took Kaley to the greenway and back.

When we got home, I gave her a goodnight hug and hurried upstairs. Margaret had gone to bed just like she said she would. I popped open Danielle's door to say goodnight but her snores greeted me so I quietly snuck away. When I got to my room, I noticed the window was open and wondered if Margaret was airing my room for me. I stepped over to close it but stopped mid-stride.

Michael was sitting on the edge of the bed opposite me with his head in his hands. "Elayna, I think tonight may have been a mistake."

"Oh, God, no!" I fell to my knees and thought I would lose my insides as he gathered me close.

"It's not the right time for us; you must understand that, surely you feel the truth of it. You are my whole world Elayna, the only reason I am still here, still alive," he explained. "But you are so young; there is still so much you need to do. I can't keep that from you, I can't keep you from living a normal life."

"Well, you've done that already, now haven't you?!" I shouted, my sorrow quickly replaced by anger. I reflected on all the times he slipped into and out of my life. I thought about my family; my mother and father, whose memories he tucked away into a corner of my mind where I couldn't retrieve them. Then I thought about Victor and how Michael's fixation with me brought about Victor's wrath and my family's demise.

All the little walls crumbled and it all came back to me. I was so angry and resentful. "How could you do this? Why would you make me love you after..." I hiccupped.

"I didn't...I swear I didn't make you love me. I wanted you to, yes, I have always wanted you to love me. Ever since you were a little girl and that night I came to you. You were so brave when you shared your story with me. You comforted me and made me believe I could be forgiven for all that I had done. You gave me the courage to resist, the strength to live with restraint even though you never realized you were doing it."

"When you held me I felt your little heart beating against mine. You were so good and trusting and your convictions were so strong. From that moment I loved you," he said. "I shouldn't have, I knew I shouldn't but after Victor...I couldn't stop myself. I was so different after he made me this...this...." Michael held me even tighter. "And I wanted you to love me. Nothing else mattered to me but finding a way to make myself worthy of your love from that day to this. I am guilty of that and of hoping and praying. I saw the woman you would become and told myself to be patient, that if I waited one day you would love me, too. If you do, I swear, it's because you want to and not because I made you. It doesn't work like that. Not for you."

"How can I possibly believe you? I know what you're capable of; I've seen what you are capable of!"

"No, no, not with you, not since, not since," he shook with effort as he struggled to explain, "not since the day we met at the fountain. Elayna, when I didn't..." he paused and sucked in a deep breath. "Something happened that day. I've always felt," he searched for the word, "attached to the person I planned to..." another deep sigh, "take. But when I didn't, I couldn't take you, that connection, that bond, whatever it is, it was never broken. I can't force anything on you. I haven't been able to, not since then. Not without hurting you," he cautiously added.

Michael put the images in my mind while he spoke. He gave me back the memories of that long forgotten night and shared his own with me. He showed me his fears and regrets from the same events but through his eyes.

I saw the anguish in his expression, his eyes glistening in the dark and sensed he was telling the truth. "I'm sorry Michael. I just... I'm so angry because I can't bear the thought of losing you again."

"It's the same for me," he said. "It feels impossible to live my life without you. But Elayna, you can't imagine what you'd be missing. There is so much for you to look forward to; college, a career, marriage, a family. You don't understand what you'd be giving up."

"I'm not sure I want those things if I can't share them with you."

"You wanted them before tonight. If I hadn't needed to see you, if you hadn't remembered me, you'd want them now."

"I'd want them, yes, but I told you Michael, there has never been anyone else! I've never been able to care for anyone the way I care for you. I'm not sure that I can."

He lifted me up and sat down on the bed with me on his lap. I used my cuff to wipe away his tears as I kissed his cheeks and brow. I gave him a sympathetic smile and laid my lips against his. As we lingered, the tension between us dissolved. He pulled me down and our love temporarily washed all our sorrows away. It was a different kind of passion this time; a gentle, controlled exploration of one another, a complete and emotional exchange of affection.

We lay together afterwards, our fingertips caressing one another, "Why did you come back, Michael? Why tonight?"

He shook his head nervously and replied, "Something...it's...it was nothing. I was just...worried."

"Something must have happened," I insisted and tucked my chin on his chest while I waited to hear his reply.

"I had a dream," he reluctantly admitted. My heart skipped a beat and I had an intuitive sense of what he was about to say, "I saw you walking Kaley. Somehow she got away from you and ran to me. You followed her and when you came, she lay down at my feet. I took you in my arms," I shuddered as I recognized the sequence of events.

"I kissed you, here," he caressed my collarbone, "and when I looked up, Victor was standing near the end of your driveway. That's all I remember but afterwards, I needed to make sure you were safe. I came by the next day and visited my mother while you were biking with Charlie. She told me you had an episode she called it, that same night. Kaley woke her and she found you passed out in the hallway. You said you had a headache and were trying to make it to the bathroom but you overexerted yourself and blacked out."

"Oh, Michael! I didn't remember any of that at the time but, the dream! I had that dream, too! There was more to it than you remember, though. Victor, he pointed at you and he said, "I haven't forgotten." What does it mean Michael?"

"It doesn't mean anything. It was just a dream. We," he kissed my temple, "we shared a dream that's all," he insisted but didn't sound convincing. "Are you sleepy?" he whispered. Suddenly I was very sleepy, my eyes heavy, my body relaxed.

"Wait, no! I know what you're doing Michael! Please don't. Not yet."

"It's safer Elayna, safer for you to be Lily. I can't be in your thoughts."

"No! You can't keep taking this away from me, you have no right! I won't let you!" I tried to rise up, to run away but he quickly blocked my escape. He held my shoulders as I vainly tried pushing him away and shutting him out of my mind.

"Please don't fight me," he pleaded. "It has to be this way. I don't want to hurt you but if you won't let me, if you force me to do this, I will."

I looked up and saw how grief stricken he was. He took my face in his hands and brushed the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.

I sighed and clenched my jaw while I struggled to force a wall around my mind, "I love you," I said believing it was a lie and he would never hurt me.

"Elayna, please, don't make me do this."

I cried and begged, implored him with my eyes not to take my memories again. As I closed my mind to him Michael seized me by the shoulders. He was no longer Michael, the man I loved but someone else, something else. I stood paralyzed with disbelief as he sunk into my neck. It only took an instant to understand why he was so angry with me. He was afraid of what he would become if I wasn't with him, reminding him, helping him to be strong. I saw Brenda the night of the ballet and the horror he felt for what he had done to her all those years ago when I left him.

"Oh, God, no! I'm sorry Michael, it's my fault," I whispered, "I'm sorry! I love you! Come back. Oh, please come back!"

It seemed too late, though, our connection, it was unwinding, faster and faster, leaving me and tangling itself around Michael. I imagined myself grabbing it and pulling it back but it was slipping and I was slipping, falling into some unimaginably deep abyss.

"Michael," I heard a faint scream as the door burst open. A massive bundle of fur toppled us, growling and snapping at Michael. Kaley clamped down on his arm and yanked him away from me.

He let go of my shoulders and I fell to the floor. Michael turned in sudden awareness and surveyed the damage he had done.

"Mother... I..." he sunk to his knees.

Margaret rushed to my side and checked my pulse and my breathing. "She's still alive! Oh, thank God! She's still alive. Go, Michael, go!!"

Full of shock and disbelief he crawled to where Margaret and I lay sprawled on the floor. She stared at him with tears streaming down her face, "Michael, you have to go, now!!"

He took his wrist and made a little gnash then smoothed a drop of blood over the punctures in my neck. They immediately began to heal and sealed themselves up as he absently wiped the blood away.

Margaret sat awestruck and helplessly watched until Michael laid his wrist against my lips. "No," she shouted and grabbed his arm. "I won't let you! She's had enough of you!!"

Michael drew away from us and vanished into the night.

## Chapter 16

When Margaret looked up, she noticed Danielle standing in the doorway and motioned her to come in. "Please help me get her to bed."

"I heard Kaley. What happened?"

Margaret hid her fear while she wondered how much Dani might have seen. "Kaley was barking to wake me so I could help Lily. She gets migraines sometimes. Her doctor said they are caused by residual damage from the crash. If she's not careful and overexerts herself, she blacks out. The formal must have been too much for her."

Danielle nodded, "Oh, how sad," she seemed satisfied with the explanation.

They piled me into bed and Margaret tucked the covers all around me. "She'll be alright, Danielle. She just needs to rest."

Dani looked down at me full of concern, "She never told me," she said.

"I don't think she remembers. Once she comes to it's like it never happened and she's completely unaware."

"Wow," Danielle shook her head in disbelief. "I'm so sorry Margaret. I feel so bad for her."

"Don't, please, it will only upset her. She's a strong girl trying to live without any regrets. She wouldn't want anyone to pity her."

"I understand," Dani said and reached out to squeeze Margaret's hand.

"Here, let's let her rest," Margaret urged Danielle to the door and called to Kaley. Kaley stood defiant and made it clear that she wasn't going anywhere.

"Very well," she closed the door and dropped Dani at her bedroom. "I'll take you home in the morning; she'll most likely sleep through the day. When she's better, I'll have her call you but please remember not to talk about this, not to Lily, not to anyone."

"Yes, Mrs. Donovan."

"Thank you, Danielle. You're a good friend."

I slept for two days in a fitful state, sometimes half awake, sometimes half asleep, always frightened and always heartbroken. Margaret checked on me every few hours. She soothed me and forced me to take sips of water or juice. Occasionally she noticed fresh tears drying on my cheeks and would sit beside me stroking my hair while whispering words of apology. I didn't know what she was so sorry for, other than that I felt so badly and there seemed very little she could do.

By Monday evening there hadn't been any improvement and Margaret considered calling her doctor to ask if she would make a house call. When she came to check on me, though, she realized I was sleeping soundly. I had a relaxed and peaceful expression on my face. My color looked fresh and the dark circles around my eyes were fading.

"Oh, Lily, thank goodness," she sighed and left the room happy and though not free from worry, much less fearful.

I didn't have any memory of what happened when I woke Tuesday morning. It was bright and sunny as I came too and blinked at the brightness. I glanced at my clock and after reading the time wondered why I slept so late. It seemed strange especially since we napped before the formal and hadn't stayed out that late.

I felt a little woozy and disoriented as I tossed the covers back. It worried me that Danielle might already be up. I hoped Margaret had made her breakfast and kept her company while I slept.

Kaley was on the floor beside my bed and I nearly tripped over her in my haste to get to the door. "Oh, sorry, baby, I didn't see you there," I bent down and gave her a hug. As I wandered down the hallway, I paused at the guest bedroom and looked around in confusion. Margaret had already made up the room and there was no trace of Dani or any of her belongings. "That's odd," I thought to myself, "I don't remember her needing to be anywhere today." I took a few more steps but had to stop when I got to the top of the staircase.

I was breathless and panting so I sat on the floor next to Kaley. She plopped down beside me and rested her head on my lap while I stroked her ears and daydreamed for a moment or two. I'm not really sure what I was thinking about but after a few minutes I realized I was crying. I absently wiped the tears away and fought to organize my thoughts.

Once I caught my breath, I stood up and made my way down to the foyer then slowly towards the kitchen. I needed to catch my breath again and dragged myself up onto one of the kitchen stools. There wasn't any sign of Margaret or of Danielle. I wondered where they were and why they didn't wake me, "And why am I so weak?" I asked myself.

I wondered if I was just hungry. It must have been hours since I'd eaten last. I tried picturing what I'd had for dinner but it seemed impossible to recall. I knew we had plans to go to the Italian restaurant after the dance but I didn't remember whether we ever went.

It frustrated and confused me. I couldn't make any sense of what I may or may not have done after the formal. "What's wrong with me?" I asked myself. I lay my head down on the table and closed my eyes while I desperately sought to recall the evening's events. After a while I must have dozed off because Margaret startled me when she came home and laid her hand on my shoulder.

"Lily, dear, you're up," Margaret said with a great deal of concern. "Oh, Aunt Margaret," I threw my arms around her and began to sob.

"I can't remember, Margaret. I can't remember anything about last night. What happened to me? Why can't I remember?"

"Ssh, dear, ssh," she absently stroked my hair and rocked me back and forth. "You haven't been well, dear; you've been in bed for over 2 days now."

"Two days!!" I pulled away in utter dismay.

"What day is it?" I asked.

"It's Tuesday, sweetie."

"Two days," I whispered shaking my head. "How..." I started to ask. "What happened?" I looked at Margaret hoping for an explanation.

"I don't know, dear, you came home with Danielle then you took Kaley for a walk. We all went to bed and you must gotten ill sometime during the night. Kaley sensed something was wrong and woke Danielle and me. We found you on the floor and helped you back to bed. You were feverish and weak but other than that there didn't seem anything wrong with you. I sat with you as much as I could and almost called the doctor but then your fever suddenly broke and you looked so much healthier. I decided to give you one more day to rest before I panicked. How are you, other than confused?"

"I'm hungry and I had to stop twice to catch my breath just to get down here."

"Maybe I should make you something to eat, it's been a while since you've had anything."

Margaret brought me a glass of water before getting the bread from the pantry and toasting it for me. She handed me a plate when it was ready. "No butter," I asked in dismay.

"I think you should take it easy for now; until we're sure you're well enough for something more."

I nibbled at my dry toast and it seemed like the best thing I had ever eaten. I knew I must be terribly hungry if toast and water tasted like a gourmet meal to me. After I swallowed the last bite, I asked Margaret for another slice but she insisted it was too soon. She said I should wait at least a half hour before I tried eating again. She encouraged me to drink my water then came and sat with me at the table.

"Do you think you're strong enough to manage a shower?"

The prospect of a shower brightened my mood and I told her I wanted to try. She made me take her arm even though I told her I could make it on my own. Kaley acted very concerned and followed us down the hallway. It seemed like she wanted to help but didn't quite know how. I called her to my side and put a hand on her back to steady myself. Between Margaret and Kaley I made it up the stairs without taxing myself. When we got to the bathroom, I sat on the edge of the tub while Margaret laid out a towel and robe for me.

"Take your time and rest if you need to. I'll come check on you if I think you're taking too long, okay?"

I smiled in reply and waited for her to close the door before I stood up and adjusted the faucets and jets for myself.

It felt so nice to stand in the shower and enjoy the heat from the water and the pressure of the jets massaging my neck and back. After several minutes I washed up, pausing every once in a while to take a deep breath and regain my strength.

Margaret came to check on my like she promised, giving the door a soft rap before calling out. "Lily, are you alright? You're starting to worry me."

"Yes, Aunt Margaret. Just finishing up."

I wrung my hair and dabbed myself dry before stepping onto the mat. I wriggled into the fluffy robe Margaret had set out for me then went to my bedroom and sat on my bed. It was another lengthy process getting dressed without wearing myself out again. Even though I paced myself, it seemed a lot harder than it should have been. It made me worry that Margaret wasn't being completely honest with me and if I had something worse than a simple fever like she suggested. I wondered what she was keeping from me and how long it would be before I felt like myself again.

Kaley was waiting for me when I left my bedroom. She looked up with knowing eyes and I sensed she wanted to help again. I put my hand on her back and she gave her tail a little wag before starting down the hall. She glanced back once or twice almost as if she was looking for reassurance she wasn't going too fast for me. I smiled and told her what a good dog she was.

Margaret came to the bottom of the stairs as Kaley and I made our way down. "How was your shower?"

"It was nice. A lot of work but nice. I'm really hungry, do you think it's alright to eat again?"

"Yes, and it's probably a good idea for you to sip a little juice with your toast this time. A few extra calories might do you good."

Margaret's voice made me a little suspicious. I realized that I hadn't looked at myself yet and hoped that I didn't appear as bad as I felt.

"The school called while you were in the shower. I let them know that you're doing better but I plan on keeping you home this week just to be safe. They don't want you to fall behind and Ms. Kelly said Charlie volunteered to get your assignments and bring you your books this afternoon. If you're not up to seeing anyone that's perfectly understandable but he and Dani have been very worried about you."

"I'll email Danielle later to let her know I'm fine. I guess if I'm up and around it wouldn't hurt to see Charlie."

Kaley stayed beside me as we walked down the hallway into the kitchen. I sat down on one of the stools while Margaret fixed me another slice of toast. This time she put a little scraping of butter on it and poured me a glass of juice as well. "I looked online to see what we can do to help you get better quickly. It's very likely you're dehydrated and that's why you're so weak. One of the articles I read suggested we set a timer and have you take a sip of something with electrolytes every few minutes."

"That makes sense."

"Well, I don't have any sports drinks here but if you're comfortable on your own for a bit, I can run to the store and pick some up. Is there anything special you'd like?"

Charlie always put packets of powder in our water bottles when we rode. They had a heavy dose of vitamin C, lots of B vitamins and electrolytes. I couldn't remember what he called them but I remembered liking them more than most of the sports drinks I'd had. I did my best to explain them to Margaret and told her that if she couldn't find them to pick out whatever sounded good. She handed me a timer and reminded me to drink some water in the meantime. She said goodbye and headed out the door.

I finished up my toast and juice then poured myself a glass of water and called to Kaley. She helped me to the family room where I stretched out on the couch and flipped through the channels until I came to a cooking program. It was airing a competition between several pastry chefs. They were creating desserts with chocolate and sugar and sculpting them into remarkable showpieces too amazing and intricate to want to eat.

Towards the end of the show the doorbell rang pulling my attention away from the chefs just as they were moving their creations from their workstations to the judging tables. I didn't want to get up but Margaret wasn't home yet and I worried it might be Charlie with my schoolwork. To be sure I wouldn't miss him, I called out, "Just a minute," and reluctantly shifted my weight from the couch. Kaley had forgotten me in her excitement to see who was at the door. I cursed myself for being so weak as I slowly made my way to answer it. When I got there, I gave Kaley a little pat, "Thanks for the help," she wagged her tail unable to comprehend my sarcasm.

Charlie was standing on the porch watching Margaret as she pulled into the driveway. He turned when he heard me, "Hey," he said, but his smile quickly faded to concern as he took me in.

His expression made me realize how awful I must have looked. I hoped he didn't see my disappointment. "Come on in," I moved aside so he could get around Kaley. I called her over and put my hand on her back as I led the way to the kitchen.

"Here, let me," Charlie glided to my free side and offered me his elbow.

"Thanks, Charlie. I'm alright, really," but I let him help me, anyway.

He had a book bag on his shoulder. He shrugged it off and put on the kitchen island after he helped me to one of the nearby stools. "So, I think I've got everything here," he pulled out a list of assignments and set it beside the bag. "Oh and there's this," he unzipped the bag and pulled out a greeting card. "It's from everyone. We all miss you."

I opened the card and saw dozens of signatures from all my friends and even a few of the teachers. I put it aside to look over later, "That's really sweet of everyone," I smiled.

Margaret came into the kitchen and said hello to Charlie before showing me the powders she bought. "Yep, those are the ones," I assured her then turned to Charlie. "I haven't looked at myself, is it really that bad?" I tried not to sound concerned.

"Nah, you just look a little tired," he shrugged brushing off my fear.

"Thanks," I said, "I hope you won't worry anyone unnecessarily," I nudged a stool towards him with the tip of my toe.

"I'll paint a pretty picture," he smiled as he sat down. "Listen, I've got a few minutes if you want to work on some of this stuff together."

"Really? That would be great."

"Let me grab my things," Charlie hopped up and ran to his car.

Margaret smiled as she mixed a drink for me. "Where's your timer?" She asked.

"Oh, I left it in the family room, sorry."

"I'll get it," Charlie called as he stepped into the foyer.

It had already gone off, so I took a sip as soon as Margaret handed me my drink. I reset the timer while Charlie gathered the first of my textbooks. Once he organized our work and explained the lesson to me, he started on his assignment while I tackled mine. Margaret offered to fix us a snack as we hunched over the kitchen table. I was still hungry and since I was getting something, Charlie agreed to have a bite as well.

I was glad he stayed because I needed to interrupt him more than once to ask him to clarify a point or two. Though he wasn't in all of my classes, Charlie was familiar with almost everything I was studying. I always knew he was smart and how easily he got me through the assignments certainly reinforced my opinion of him.

"How do you know all this stuff?" I asked impressed at how quickly he could finish what for me was challenging work.

"Just lucky, I guess. I have a good memory," he reluctantly admitted.

Charlie finished his homework well before I finished mine. I had a couple of days' worth of classwork along with the homework but he helped me almost to the point where I felt like I was cheating. When we finished, I thanked him for staying and getting me through it all.

"I have a good reason," he stood and smiled as he tucked his books and papers away. "Zach took a nasty tumble the other day. He cracked the frame on his bike and dislocated his shoulder. He won't be able to ride for a few weeks."

"I see," I tossed him a sly look. "Well, I'm sure Margaret will have me nursed back to health in no time and you won't have to hit the trails alone."

"Do you want me to turn any of this in for you?" Charlie asked.

"If you don't mind." I stacked my papers and handed them to him.

"I'll be back tomorrow," he turned to Margaret, "Bye, Mrs. Donovan. Have a good night."

"Oh, I meant to say something sooner; would you like to stay for dinner?" Margaret asked, sorry to see my company go.

"No, I have a thing but thanks. Another time, maybe?"

"Any time Charlie, Lily is an excellent cook, you know?" Margaret said hoping to add a little enticement to her offer.

"So I've heard! I'd really love to stay and see for myself but I can't. Next time," he flashed a regretful grin and headed to the door. Kaley watched him leave then trotted back to the kitchen.

"Well, that was nice of Charlie, don't you think?"

"Yeah, Charlie's a good friend," I sighed. I sensed Margaret's wheels turning as she eyed me and wondered if there was something more, "He has a girlfriend," I said a little snappishly.

"I didn't ask," Margaret said defensively.

"Sorry, I just..." I wasn't sure why I said it or why I said it so grudgingly. "He's seeing Missy and I guess I just don't want anyone thinking he's doing anything more than helping a friend."

"I understand. Listen, I bought a few extra things while I was out. How would you like some Chicken Tortilla Soup for dinner?"

It was my favorite and her thoughtfulness made me feel even guiltier for being so harsh with her. "Perfect," I said and hoped she heard the apology in my voice. "I'm a little worn out. Do you mind if I lie down for a bit?"

"No of course not. I'll let you know when everything is ready."

I put my books in the bag Charlie left for me. It looked a little worn and dusty and I guessed it was an old one of his. He probably dug it out from somewhere to make getting my things to me easier. One of my books got caught on a crumbled up piece of paper as I stuffed it in. I absently pulled the wad from the bag and smoothed it out. The date was from freshman year and looked like notes from a science class. I turned it over and examined all the little doodles on the back. Most were cartoons of sorts but there was one of a heart surrounding the initials C. B. & L.D.

"Oh," I whispered and tucked the paper back towards the bottom of the bag. "It's nothing," I said to myself. "That was 3 years ago!" I wished I hadn't found it but couldn't help wondering if Charlie still had feelings for me and whether that was why he put himself forward to help me out. "I have my reasons," he said and mentioned biking but maybe that wasn't the only thing he was thinking of when he said it.

I shook the unwanted idea from my mind and left the bag by the front door before trudging up to my room. The trip left me winded and so frustrated I needed to sit down and take a few deep breaths before I could even think about relaxing. Once I managed to calm myself I stretched out and made myself comfortable.

As I lay there, my mind kept turning over and over again the little I remembered from the formal. I felt penitent, like I had done something terribly wrong. I couldn't imagine what but my head was full of regret as I struggled to understand why I seemed so remorseful.

"Gosh, what have I done? Why can't I remember anything?" I strained to recall something, anything from the past few days but my mind was completely blank.

It was so discouraging and upsetting. I pulled the covers up and closed my eyes. I pretended to be asleep hoping it would make me forget all my worries but pretending to be asleep actually made me sleepy. After being in bed for 2 days I didn't want to doze off. As soon as I realized I might, I sat up but when I did, I got the sense that I wasn't in my own room.

I strained my eyes as I looked over my surroundings wondering where I was and how I had gotten there. It was very dark except for a sliver of light shining off to my right. As I made my way towards the beam, I realized it was the sun peeking through some heavy drapes. I reached out with both my hands and wrenched them open. The room flooded with light and as I looked around, it seemed familiar somehow.

The bed I had just gotten up from was a giant four-poster covered with a thick coverlet. I stepped towards it and ran my fingers over the dense fibers. A loose thread at the end of the bed caught my eye. I picked it up with my forefinger and thumb and tried plucking it from the bedding but it wasn't attached.

I followed the thread's path with my gaze and saw that it flowed over the edge of the bed and out an open doorway. It appeared quite long and I wondered why it was there and where it went. Full of curiosity I took the section I held and wound it around my palm. I followed the string through the doorway and as I stepped through, I realized I was somewhere new. I found myself in an arboretum at the center of a multi-level shopping mall. A fountain with water sprouting up and twinkling down stood in the middle of the courtyard.

The thread appeared to pass from one end of the fountain to the other. When I traced the path, I noticed a man sitting on the opposite edge of the fountain with his back towards me. A desperate pang ran through me and I prayed he would turn around and look at me but he got up and walked away in the direction of the thread.

I wound more frantically and continued following the string certain it was there for me, to lead me somewhere I needed to go. As I passed the fountain, the sliding doors that exited the mall loomed up in front of me and glided back to reveal another new local. Beyond the doorway stood an apartment building with rows upon rows of little balconies leading up to the rooftop. The thread streamed as far as I could see up the side of the building and I wasn't sure how to go about following it.

The rail of the lowest balcony was only a few feet tall. I climbed onto it and stretched myself upwards. Somehow I managed to reach the rails of the balcony on the second floor and pulled myself up. I reached and stretched and made my way to the top of the building. My heart pounded from the effort and when I finally recovered enough to go on, I looked down and saw the loose strand streaming towards the corner of the roof. I took a deep breath and resumed winding it around my palm.

As I got closer to the corner where the thread lay I noticed the man again, standing on the edge looking down. I couldn't see his face but the anxious pain washed over me again. I needed him to look at me, to see me so I could let him know I was trying to reach him. I called out but either he didn't hear me or he chose to ignore me. He stepped onto the tiny ledge and stood perfectly still for a moment then leapt over the side of the building.

I ran and looked down but didn't see anything other than the thread dangling in the breeze as it trailed to the ground. It would have been impossible for me to survive a jump like that and I wasn't sure what to do. The idea seemed completely absurd but I unwound some of the string and looked around for something to tie it to. I noticed a nearby ventilation pipe and wrapped layer after layer of the thread around it before giving it a hearty tug. For such a fine strand it seemed very strong.

I moved back to the edge of the building and peered over. For a moment I stood there and second-guessed my intentions. I gazed up into the night and whispered a heartfelt prayer as a shooting star zipped across the sky. I took it as a good omen and after gauging how much slack I would need, I unwound it, turned my back and stepped over the edge. I planted my feet and pushed off before shimmying down the building. When I got to the ground a gust of wind whipped the thread and it tumbled down to land at my feet.

I began winding it back up as quickly as possible, twisting it around and around my hand. It took a few minutes to gather it all and once I did I followed the thread into the nearby woods. When I came out on the other side, I noticed it was leading me towards a motorcycle parked on the shoulder of a nearby road. It was dozens of yards away from where I stood so I started walking towards it. I panicked after a few steps because every one I took seemed to bring me farther away rather than closer.

I quickened my pace and as I began to run the man exited the woods and straddled the bike. He was wearing a helmet and I couldn't see his face and didn't know if he saw me. I wanted to go with him, though. I needed to go with him wherever he was off to.

"Wait," I cried out to him, "wait, I'm here! You have my thread, please give it back to me. Please don't take my thread," I held it to my chest as I hurried to where he sat on the bike.

I was frantic with fear and grief stricken when the motorcycle started and its shrieks covered my cries. As he pulled from the shoulder onto the road, I fell to my knees in failure. The thread started unwinding from my hand; faster and faster it chased after the man and the motorcycle.

"No!" I cried as I snatched at it determined to keep it from escaping me. It burned my hand as the momentum of the bike drew it across my palm. The pain was excruciating but I refused to let go.

"Lily," I sensed someone shaking me, "Lily, wake up."

"No, no! I need to catch the thread! Don't you see it? It's leaving me!"

"Lily, what are you talking about?"

My eyes sprung open, "Aunt Margaret?"

"Yes, dear, I'm here. I'm here, sweetheart," she cradled me.

My tears were relentless as they rained down and down and down while she tried calming me.

"I lost him, Aunt Margaret! I lost him!"

"Lost who?" her voice was full of confusion but I sensed there was something else, a touch of fear in her question.

I tried answering but my thoughts were too incoherent. I didn't know what I was saying or why I was saying it. Suddenly I didn't know why I was in bed or why I was crying or why Margaret was comforting me. It all slipped into a chaotic parade of memories that I couldn't sort out. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. When I regained my composure, I pulled away from Margaret.

"I'm sorry, Aunt Margaret. I must have had a bad dream."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked concernedly.

I laughed with a touch of lunacy, "I don't remember," I shook my head, "I've already forgotten it, can you believe that? Am I going crazy?" I turned a wild-eyed gaze on Margaret.

"No, honey! No. Of course not. You've been through a lot and you haven't been feeling well. You mustn't think any more of it than that."

## Chapter 17

Despite Margaret's assurances something seemed terribly wrong with me. My mind and body felt like they were in a relentless torment from a ghostly ache that wouldn't go away. I couldn't focus and my heart constantly reeled in my chest. Margaret piled on her care and concern but nothing she or any of my friends did to lift my spirits helped. I couldn't pull myself together and I barely remembered the remainder of the school year passing. If it wasn't for Charlie, I never would have made it through my finals and onto my senior year.

My thoughts regularly wandered off and every new day passed more like a dream than reality. I grew quiet and subdued; I had no enthusiasm and only went through the motions of having a good time with my friends. Whenever we were together all I thought about was how long it would be before I could safely excuse myself so I could hurry home and be alone.

I didn't know what was causing me to feel the way I did as I drifted through the days. The sense of disconnection seemed to invade every minute of my life, though. Sometimes it got so bad I lost my perception of time or forgot where I was while I considered over and over again all the things I wished I remembered. It became necessary for Margaret to keep tabs on me and make sure I never went anywhere alone.

There were many, too many, mornings that I woke up on a pillow dampened by a night of endless tears. It baffled me why my life suddenly seemed so tragic. My friends, Margaret, Kaley, my home; I had so many bright and worthy objects all around me but I didn't appreciate any of them the way I knew I should. Sometimes it would make me angry and I'd resent them all for how easily they found happiness in the simplest and most mundane things.

Charlie seemed the most aware of how I was feeling and the most determined to shake me from it. He came by regularly on some pretense or other and often stayed for dinner at Margaret's open ended invitation. He was soothing to be around and his patience with my lapses bordered on sainthood. More often than not his friendship was the one thing that managed to engage me when nothing else would.

Towards the end of summer I grew more and more distant and Charlie's efforts less and less effective. He broke up with Missy and though he told everyone it had nothing to do with me it was obviously so we could spend more time together. It made me terribly guilty. I knew he had feelings for me but I didn't understand why. It didn't make any sense especially since I had become so detached and indifferent. He was persistent and even though I regretted how much it must have hurt Missy, deep down inside I was grateful. Somehow he managed to keep me going when little else did.

"You just need time," he and Margaret often stated.

"Time," it seemed endless and vague.

One afternoon Charlie came by to visit and it briefly crossed my mind that I should tell him how much I appreciated everything he did. I wanted to tell him he was wasting his summer, though, and shouldn't keep worrying about me. As I sat across from him at the kitchen table I looked up and realized he must have asked me a question. He stared at me looking as if he was waiting for a reply. It made me lose my train of thought.

"I'm sorry. What did you say, Charlie?"

"I asked if you wanted go riding this weekend. It's supposed to be really nice and I thought we could get out and log some miles. What do you say?"

I forced a smile I honestly didn't feel, "Sure, that sounds great." he didn't seem satisfied with my response but took my answer anyway and ran with it.

"Cool! I rode with Zach last week and we found a new trail. I think it might be a bootleg."

"Bootleg?" I frowned.

"Yeah, an illegal trail. The state park only allows a certain number of trails on the public lands to preserve the natural environment as best it can. There are parts of the park clearly marked off-limits but we saw another rider walk his bike a little way into one of the restricted areas. A few seconds later he hopped on his bike and pedaled away. Zach and I went to where he took off from and sure enough, there was a trail there. We rode a few miles of it but couldn't go any further because it was getting dark. I'd like to finish exploring and thought if you were up for it we could check it out together."

I had a spasm of regret. It happened whenever Charlie used the word together; do you want me to come by so we can do our homework together, do you want to ride together this weekend, let's get together with Zach and Danielle and go to the movies or something. There was a combination of reasons why. It was impossible not to blame myself that Charlie and Missy were no longer together. Then there was the horrible realization that I was not at all together and topping it off lay the undeniable truth that Charlie wanted us to be together.

Charlie was the sweetest person I knew and he had really grown into his looks since freshman year. He wasn't spectacularly handsome but he was cute and smart and just about the only person I had any fun with. His friendship meant the world to me especially since he was always so quick to forgive me when I fell into one of my dazes. He never got upset like Dani and the others if my mind wandered off and I acted angry or sharp when they snapped me out of it.

He suggested a time to come by to pick me up. It was too difficult for me to form a decent refusal so I absently agreed. I hated feeling so apathetic towards everything. Nothing seemed to matter; whether it was where we should go or what we should do or what I'd like to eat. It caused a lot of concern at first but I quickly learned that if I wanted to make it through the day, I needed to at least pretend to take part. If I didn't I would end up fielding a million questions that I either didn't feel like answering or simply didn't have the answers to.

Margaret overheard us making our plans for riding and smiled. I was glad I made her happy by accepting Charlie's invitation. "Are you staying for dinner tonight, Charlie?" she asked.

"No, not tonight, I have a thing."

He said that from time to time, "I have a thing." I wasn't lucid or concerned enough to question him about it. Margaret had once before and asked him curiously, "Anything special?"

All he said was, "Nah," before shrugging his shoulders in a dismissive manner suggesting he had nothing more to say about it. Margaret wasn't one to pry so she let it go at that.

After Charlie left, I helped Margaret with dinner and while it was cooking, I took Kaley for her evening walk. Thankfully she was familiar with our routines and if I lost track of what we were doing or kept wandering down the greenway Kaley would plop down and refuse to walk any further. She outweighed me by about 20 lbs. so when she did I'd reach the end of the slack on her leash and get a gentle tug back to reality. It would remind me that I needed to search for any of her trophies and head home.

It was a beautiful morning when Charlie picked me up for our ride. The sky looked warm and bright and everything seemed so fresh. I wondered if it had showered overnight or if there was just a lot of dew because the sun hadn't had a chance to burn it off yet.

"Did it rain last night Charlie?"

"Uh, uh," he said, "if it did, I might have asked to reschedule for tomorrow. I just cleaned my bike and the prospect of getting it muddy and having to do it all over again is not all that appealing."

Charlie loaded my bike while I tucked the cooler Margaret packed for us into the backseat. I offered to help but he insisted he was all set. I climbed into the passenger's seat and buckled up. We were both quiet on the way to the trailhead. It was nothing unusual for me but Charlie typically had an arsenal of dialogue to keep my mind from drifting onto any of its murky paths.

I sat back and between the quiet and rhythm of the drive sank into my little cocoon. When Charlie parked the car he looked over at me and put a hand on my shoulder. It startled me and I glanced over at him full of confusion.

"Do you still love him? Is that where you always go when you leave us? Is that why you can't open up to me?" he asked.

I didn't know who Charlie was talking about but assumed he meant my father because there was no other him in my life.

"Who, Charlie? My dad? Of course I still love him; at least I think I do. You know I don't remember much of anything before I moved in with Aunt Margaret. That's a really odd question, Charlie."

"Do you really not remember?" he persisted.

Again, I thought he was talking about my childhood, my father, my mother, how much I recalled from growing up.

"I can't imagine why you would even ask that Charlie but no, I don't remember. Sometimes I don't remember anything, sometimes I don't remember one moment from the next," I felt like I was about to cry. I had no idea what point Charlie was hoping to make with his line of questioning. "Do you think I don't care about you, Charlie, because I do! I care an awful lot but if you're trying to say I won't let you in because I'm afraid of losing you the way I lost my family, I can assure you that is not the case."

He studied me as if he was looking for something in my expression, in my eyes.

"Charlie if I have any reason for keeping you out it's because you deserve better. I am broken and there is nothing in this world that will fix me. This is who I am, who I will always be. Can you honestly imagine a happy relationship with me? How do you know I won't just wake up one day and have forgotten you?"

"I would remember you and that would be enough," he whispered.

He made me so angry! I hated how devoted he was and so sincere. I really didn't want to face the fact that I simply didn't love him and that in all likelihood I would never love him or anyone else for that matter. Not as I was, anyway. I spoke from the heart when I told him I was broken and didn't believe there was anything in the world that would fix me.

I hopped out of the car and slammed the door. Charlie got out as I moved around to the back and fidgeted with the straps to release my bike. I shook with grief and anger but refused to stop what I was doing. He took my hand away from the straps and held me back until I finally gave up on my attempts.

"I'm sorry," he said and hugged me. "You're right. I'm asking too much, too soon."

What he said didn't make any sense but having him hold me felt nice and after a minute or two Charlie finally calmed me down. He led me to the passenger's seat and made me sit while he fetched our bikes. He retrieved all our gear from the backseat; helmets, gloves, glasses and after a little coaxing managed to get me ride-ready. He adjusted his chin strap then called to me.

"C'mon Lily, let's have some fun!"

I looked up and there was no indication in his expression of what had just happened. He looked determined to make the most of it since we were there and it was such a beautiful day. We hopped on our bikes and headed down the main trail. It took about 5 minutes to get to the spot where Charlie thought the bootleg trail would be. He rested his bike against a tree and asked me to wait while he wandered around hoping to locate the beginning of the trail.

I almost called him back so I could tell him to forget it, that I just wanted to get some riding in but he raised his hand over his head and waved to me. He shouted that he found it and waited while I wrestled my bike to where he stood. I took his spot so we wouldn't lose track of the trail again while Charlie scurried off to retrieve his bike. Once he was back, he straddled his bike and led the way.

The trail was a lot narrower than the ones I was used to. It was somewhat rocky and there were patches of roots scuttling both across as well as lengthwise along the trail. It made for some interesting riding. The various obstacles forced me to stay focused since I needed to keep making adjustments to my speed and positioning on the bike while I negotiated them all. We came to occasional hills both up and down as well as a handful of substantial and fear-inspiring drop-offs that took serious effort to navigate.

There were lots of hard to read switchbacks, too. We'd be riding along in one direction, come to a hairpin turn and find ourselves heading in nearly the opposite direction. I started to lose my hesitancy after about 15 minutes or so and realized I was actually enjoying myself. I may even have smiled once or twice when I thought the trail would get the better of me but ended up safely coming through the obstacle.

Charlie looked over his shoulder from time to time to make sure I was still with him and I could see that he was having a fun ride too. Just as the trail appeared to be coming into a clearing, Charlie decided it was a good time for another glance back to see how I was holding up. As he turned his head, he suddenly dropped out of sight. I broke hard and skidded to a stop at the edge of a deep-set creek bed.

Charlie lay sprawled at the bottom of the embankment, the lower half of his body covered in water. His bike was completely submerged a few feet away from where he landed. I called to him but he didn't answer. I tore off my helmet and dropped my bike before I scrambled down to where he lay.

"Charlie," I gave him a gentle shake, "Charlie," again.

He didn't answer but when I bent my ear to his lips to check if he was breathing he grabbed me and dunked me into the water beside him.

"You!!" I screamed even though I immediately lost my anger. I was so relieved he wasn't hurt I started laughing and splashing water in his face.

Charlie was taken aback by my sudden burst of humor. He just sat there and let me harass him. After a moment or two I realized what I was doing and dropped the cupful of water I had in my hands and continued laughing out loud. Charlie looked so ridiculous sitting in the water with all his riding gear on and a crazed grin on his face. I couldn't get myself under control; every time my laughter settled into a giggle I found new humor in our situation and burst out all over again.

After a while Charlie decided he had had enough of being waterlogged and humiliated. He dragged himself and his bike from the creek. While he checked for any damage someone called to us from the other side of the creek bed.

"Hey there, everything alright?"

It was one of the park rangers and I almost panicked knowing full well we were in one of the restricted areas.

"Uh, yeah," Charlie called back. "We were just taking a break and thought we'd get a closer look at the creek. I slipped on the embankment and took a little tumble."

"Well, the creek is off-limits. Double back that way and you'll find the main trail. Next time be more careful where you're exploring." He tipped his hat and climbed into his pick-up.

"That was lucky," I said. "How's your bike?"

"Rideable."

"Maybe we should take his advice and head back."

"Yeah, let's."

We wheeled our bikes in the direction the ranger suggested and sure enough found ourselves on the main trail. We were near the bridge where I convinced him to take me biking for the first time. Charlie and I both looked at one another remembering the moment.

"So this is where it all started," he gestured to the bridge, "and this is where it got me," Charlie motioned to himself; his soaking clothes and muddy bike.

We were too wet to ride without slipping off our saddles so we walked for a few minutes hoping to dry off. He had his bike to the left and I had mine to my right and there was nothing in between us as we walked up the corkscrew hill I first saw him and Zach charging down. I felt good, really good, for the first time in ages. I didn't say anything but I took Charlie's hand and gave him an appreciative grin.

Margaret immediately sensed the change in my demeanor when we got home. She looked from me to Charlie and back again while she listened to us tell the tale of our ill-fated bike ride. Charlie embellished quite a bit and made me sound as though I belonged on the pro circuit, which, of course, was an utter falsehood. Our enthusiasm was infectious and Margaret smiled and laughed along with us. Kaley seemed to wonder what she missed and trotted back and forth between us excitedly.

Charlie didn't stay long after we finished our story. He was muddy from the waist down and declined dinner, though both Aunt Margaret and I implored him.

"No, really, I would love to but I'm sure I've tracked enough debris into your kitchen for one day. I really need to get home and clean myself up."

I wasn't in much better shape than Charlie and decided I needed to clean myself up, too. We walked him to the front door and I waved goodbye from the stairs as Margaret let him out.

"Goodnight, Charlie. I don't know what you did but I can't thank you enough," Aunt Margaret whispered as she sent him on his way.

## Chapter 18

I had never had a boyfriend and even though we were close, a natural awkwardness seemed to hang over me while my relationship with Charlie developed. Fortunately, he was patient and generous with his feelings and as the months passed I became more comfortable opening up to him. We ended up dating through our senior year and he did everything possible to keep our relationship going once we graduated.

After we finished high school I followed through with my intentions and enrolled in the Culinary Academy. It was a long commute from Margaret's so she helped me get a small apartment about halfway between school and home. Charlie decided to study engineering at a nearby technical college and ended up not much further from either of us after he moved into one of the dorms.

While I pursued my culinary degree, I realized desserts were my true passion and concentrated my classes in the pastry arts. Charlie graduated one weekend and I graduated the next. He found a job and moved into an apartment downtown. Our lives were taking shape and seemed to be steering us down a predictable, safe and secure path.

We visited Margaret often and one night not long after graduation I mentioned to her and Charlie over dinner that I wanted to open my own shop someday. They both seized upon the idea before I had a chance to fully explain my plans.

"Why wait," they both persisted.

I told them I wanted to get a little experience working for someone else first. I hoped to start out in the kitchen then manage a bakery before progressively working my way towards owning one myself. But the two of them wore me down and before I knew it, we were in the thick of things. Even with their help planning and figuring I quickly realized there was much more to starting a business than I ever imagined. After finding a suitable location and months of preparation Charlie and I were ready to put the finishing touches on the café I envisioned.

We were at the shop the weekend before our grand opening. As Charlie slid the last of the tables into place, I looked around edgy with nervousness. My mind was a whirlwind tallying up the number of hours it would take to fill all the displays before I welcomed what I hoped would be my first of many customers Monday morning. He rapped on the table and glanced towards me looking for a confirmation that I was happy with the placement.

"No, a little more to the left," I said full of exasperation. I motioned with my hand while I shook my unproductive and worrisome thoughts aside. He adjusted the table a few more inches from the door.

"Now back; more towards me. That's good. Right there."

Charlie sighed and his expression was loud and clear, "Are you sure this time?" it said.

"Yeah, that should be good," I circled the table to see if there was enough room to navigate between the front door and the other nearby tables. "Perfect. Let's get the stools."

Charlie followed me to the back door where the loading dock was and we brought the stools in one by one. I gave him an apologetic smile and reminded myself I would never have gotten through it all without him and Margaret and their constant encouragement. I knew I needed to show them, especially Charlie, how grateful I was.

A wave of relief swept over me when we placed the last of the stools, "That's it," I breathed.

Charlie held his arms out lifted me off my feet with a triumphant hug, "You did a great job." He pecked me on the cheek as he set me down and surveyed the results of all our hard work.

"We did a great job," I corrected. "I never would have been able to do this without you and without Margaret. It's hard to believe we're here and so close to getting started."

"We should go out and celebrate."

I glanced at my watch, "It's late and it wouldn't seem right without Margaret. She did as much as either of us."

"Well, how about some take out then? Are you hungry?"

"I could eat!" I nodded.

After we locked the doors, I took Charlie's hand and led us through the kitchen to the loading dock. I glanced around one last time, appreciating all the shiny new appliances, countertops and equipment then flipped the lights.

"Do you want to eat at your place or mine?" I asked.

"You know, it could be our place," he said with a touch of humor but I sensed Charlie was being sincere.

It wasn't the first time it had come up but I still insisted we were too young to take that step. At least that was my excuse more often than not. There was just something so declarative about living together. It seemed like the final phase before the inevitable proposal, marriage and all the other trappings that came along with it.

I loved Charlie. Besides Margaret and Kaley, he was my best friend. He seemed to understand me better than I understood myself sometimes. He was the one I turned to whenever my mind threatened to succumb to the sense of loss I often felt and never seemed able to overcome. It had been nearly a dozen years since my parents passed away and even though I didn't remember them at all there was a tremendous hole in my heart.

Charlie suggested it wasn't just that I lost my parents but I had lost the memories of them as well which doubled my anguish. To help steer me away from it, he kept me busy and active, loved and supported me and did whatever he could think of to keep me happy and safe.

I knew that was part of the reason Charlie and Margaret were so intent on helping me get the cafe going. I often suspected it was a conspiracy between the two of them to keep me as occupied as possible. It wouldn't have been the first time they joined forces. Either way, I understood how well-intended and heartfelt their efforts were.

He was still waiting for my answer. I pretended to consider things for a moment.

"Actually, my place might be better. I'll need to call it an early night so I can get some baking done for Monday," I said. I avoided the, "our place," comment imagining whatever I came up with would only give Charlie the opening needed to start a dialogue.

He looked like he was going to say something anyway. He took a deep breath, seemed to think better of it then reluctantly said, "Fair enough," and handed me into the car.

Our relationship couldn't go on this way forever but until Charlie reached the end of his extensive rope, I promised myself I would love him to the best of my abilities. As he slid into the driver's seat I reached over and laid my hand on his leg. I gave his thigh a light, apologetic squeeze and smiled when he glanced over at me. He looked a little sad and the smile he sent back seemed somewhat forced.

We drove to my apartment and quietly nibbled our takeout. "Are you staying tonight?" I asked.

"No, not tonight. I have a thing," Charlie said.

It momentarily relieved me but Charlie had used that excuse many times over the past few years. I had always trusted Charlie but his explanation bothered me and I refused to accept it.

"So, are you ever going to tell me what your, "thing," is?" My words came out a bit more abrasive than I intended.

He looked at me with a quizzical expression, "Tonight." he frowned. "Why would you ask me that tonight, when every other night it has been nothing but passive acceptance from you?" He didn't sound upset just curiously off guard.

"Passive," I said to myself, "is that how Charlie sees me? Passive?"

He tilted his head as he sat across from me and earnestly awaited my answer. I honestly didn't know what to say. I looked down at my plate and considered it for a moment.

"Well, it's nothing really," Charlie continued. "I'm just meeting an old friend."

Missy came to my mind but I knew it couldn't be her. She lived half-way across the country and probably hadn't given either of us a second thought. "Okay, guy friend or girl friend?"

Charlie shook his head, "Guy, if you must know but please don't ask me anything else."

I really wished he hadn't said that last bit, "anything else," because suddenly I had a million questions. I looked up from my plate and was about to rattle them off but there was something in his expression that told me it would have been a dangerous discussion. He took his napkin from his lap and tossed it onto the table. He pushed his chair back, walked to where I was sitting, kissed me on the cheek and the next thing I knew he walked out the door.

I sat there dumbfounded staring across the table at the empty seat wondering what just happened. I had a fanatical impulse to follow him but quickly dismissed it. "This is Charlie we're talking about," I told myself. "He loves me, whatever he's doing, he must have his reasons and it's wrong for me to doubt him when he has never given me any reason to; until tonight. Tonight," I wondered, "why tonight of all nights?"

I busied myself by cleaning up our dirty dishes and disposing the takeout containers. When I finished, I took my shower and got ready for bed. I was still puzzling over our dinner conversation and couldn't seem to shake the question, "why tonight?" it repeated over and over again in my mind. I decided I needed a distraction and sat down to watch the evening news.

When I came to the broadcast, the meteorologist was on and talking about the best times for viewing the annual Perseid Meteor Shower. She pointed to different areas of the country and rattled off times. As I watched and listened I became fascinated with the idea of getting up a few hours before dawn to check it out for myself. I wished Charlie had stayed imagining what a nice, romantic gesture it would have been for me to wake him in the middle of the night and surprise him with a spontaneous stargazing adventure.

Thinking about it made me realize I really didn't do enough things like that to show Charlie how much I cared. He often surprised me with a love note in my lunch bag or flowers on my nightstand; once he bought me a pair of earrings shaped like rolling pins.

"Oh, well," I sighed and turned off the TV.

I made my way to my bedroom and set my alarm so I'd be able to get an early start and crawled beneath the covers. The morning came far too quickly and when it did, it was dreary, dark and raining quite hard. I ended up hitting the snooze several times before I dragged myself out of bed. I wasn't particularly hungry so after I brewed a cup of coffee, I snagged an apple from the bowl and headed out to the shop. It was just getting light as I pulled out of the complex and made the short drive downtown.

When I got there, I parked in the rear of the building where the loading dock was and hurried in through the back entrance. Once inside I locked up and tucked my things into the office. After a few minutes of thought I decided to work on some cheesecakes first and went to the kitchen to do some portioning. The cream cheese was too hard to work with fresh from the refrigerator so I arranged everything else I would need to get started then returned to the office. While I waited, I organized a schedule for the other pastries I wanted to bake.

After I finished my plans, I made my way to the kitchen and gave the cheese a little poke. It was still too hard to use, so I grabbed some sticky notes from the office and brought them out to the café. I pictured what I wanted the bakery cases to look like once they were full and started labeling them with my ideas. It took a while for me to visualize it all and I ended up shifting notes from one section of the cases to the next and sometimes back again.

The activity was ho-hum and the more thought I put into it the less I liked my designs. It didn't help that Charlie's abrupt departure the previous night was still distracting me. I kept wondering who he went to see and why. It seemed like an obligation to him and not a visit to an old friend like he said. There was nothing in his expression indicating that he found any pleasure in whatever he planned to do. "And why would he be reluctant to explain it to me?" I couldn't help dwelling on his obvious intention to keep whoever or whatever it was a secret.

I imagined all kinds of possibilities, mostly unsavory ones. Did Charlie have a drug habit I wasn't aware of, or did he owe someone a gambling debt? Maybe he had a crazy relative he didn't want me to know about because he was afraid it would scare me away from him; that I might worry the same affliction tainted him.

I put my hands over my eyes and took a deep breath. Having all these restless thoughts swimming around in my mind was not only unworthy but unproductive. I took one last glance at the empty cases and decided if I needed to change anything I could do it after I finished baking; when everything was actually ready for the displays.

Thankfully, the cheese and other ingredients I set out had come up to room temperature and were ready to use. Once I got started on the cakes, I began to feel a little better. The process gave me something to focus on and being busy relieved me from all my worries about Charlie. I made the two easiest first then systematically moved onto the next set.

While I was cleaning up after the second round of cheesecakes and putting them in the oven, I heard someone knocking at the front door of the bakery. I immediately thought Charlie and wondered if he had come to apologize and ask if I would join him for lunch. His apartment was close by and we'd talked about the possibility of grabbing a bite to eat together on the days he worked at home.

I set the timer and hastily wiped my hands on my apron. All the blinds were down since the shop wasn't open and couldn't immediately see who was there. My mind was on Charlie, though, so when I opened the door and discovered it was someone else, it took me completely by surprise.

"Oh," I said, as I gazed into the unfamiliar face of the man standing on the stoop beneath his umbrella. "I'm sorry, we're not open."

A smile crept across his lips and he looked me over but didn't say anything or make any motion to leave. A sudden awareness of how disheveled I must have looked washed over me. I had my hair tucked up beneath a kerchief and there were chocolate smears across my apron. My skin felt tacky from the dusting of sugar coating me from head to toe. Though I wasn't aware of it, I also had a small patch of chocolate smeared across my cheek. As I considered the full extent of my appearance, I trembled from an overwhelming sense of self-consciousness.

I started to apologize again and almost suggested he come back another time. He realized my intentions though and found his voice, "Please," he interrupted, "I could really use your help right now."

He looked sincerely distressed and despite my inner misgivings I asked him what he needed help with.

"May I come in?" he held his hand out and caught a few raindrops to remind me how unpleasant the weather was.

I hesitated a moment then, "Sure," I said and waved him inside. I closed the door but didn't lock it in case I needed to make a hasty escape.

He closed his umbrella and set it on the mat by the door as I walked behind the display cases and turned on some of the café lights. After he took a seat at one of the tables, he asked if I happened to have any coffee on. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Oh, right," he chuckled, "not open."

His expression made me uncomfortable and another wave of shame washed over me as he watched me move towards the table where he sat. I hastily untied my apron and whisked the kerchief from the top of my head. I instantly regretted the latter when I ran my fingers through my hair and discovered how matted it had become.

"So?" I asked.

"Ah, yes. Well, I work for the law firm down the street and we are having an open-house Sunday night. He paused and nudged one of the stools, offering it to me. I hesitantly took the seat. "I was in charge of ordering the desserts but the caterer I contracted seems to have come down with something. He called to say he won't be able to fill the order I placed. I was hoping," he stopped when he read the understanding in my expression.

"Hoping we would be able to fill the void," I finished for him. All the worry about my opening on Monday flooded my mind. I already feared I wouldn't have time to bake everything I needed for myself never mind filling an additional order for, "How many people do you plan on serving?" I never meant to ask. It just came out, despite my reservations.

"Let's see. There are 30 employees, plus spouses or dates, along with about 10 of our biggest clients and their guests. I would estimate at least 75 people and at the uppermost 100."

My eyes widened in dismay, "I'm sorry," I shook my head. "I don't think I can accommodate you. Our grand-opening is Monday and I need all the time between now and then to fill these," I motioned to the empty display cases.

"I see," he said, his voice full of disappointment.

"I'm very sorry, I wish I could help but..."

"No, I understand," his eyes pleaded with mine as a tiny ripple of familiarity ran through me. Even though I couldn't place it, his expression had already melted my resolve.

I took a deep breath and sighed, "How much time do I have?"

He smiled, "the dinner starts at 5 tomorrow night but we won't need the desserts until 6 or 7."

"Is there anything particular you want to serve?"

He shook his head, "I'll take whatever I can get at this point."

"Do you have some way of getting things there?"

He pursed his lips, "I can send someone by to pick everything up."

"Well, that's a relief," I thought. "If they can be here at 6 tomorrow, I'll help load and they should be able to get it to you and set up just in time."

"Perfect," he said and held out his hand to shake on it. "I can't thank you enough and promise if all goes well, I'll make it up to you in spades."

"In spades," I thought to myself, "who says that?" I felt a bit unnerved by the expression.

He reached into his chest pocket, "If you run into any problems or if there is anything I can do to help," he said and handed me a card.

I read the name as he stood up, "Victor Davis."

He waited expectantly while I looked the card over. "Oh," I shook my head and blushed, "Lily, Lily Donovan."

"Nice to meet you, Lily. Tomorrow at 6. I'll send someone then," he turned and made his way to the door. Halfway there, he glanced back and tossed me another grateful grin.

A sense of foreboding crept through me as my fingers ran back and forth over his card. It took a moment for me to realize how much work I had just given myself. "Ugh! Why didn't I say no?" I mumbled and bit my lip. I went to the front door and locked it before trudging back to the kitchen.

The first of my timers was beeping, so I hurried toward the oven and turned it off. I took a quick peek but left the two cheesecakes as they were. They would need to do some residual baking and slowly cool down for an hour or two before I could take them out. Since I had a moment, I called Charlie to ask if he wanted to swing by for lunch but his phone went straight to voicemail.

I left a brief message then found my apple and gave it a quick polish before digging in.

While I ate, I organized a dessert menu for the law firm, carefully choosing things that would be quick and easy to make. Along with those I decided to put the two cheesecakes I'd already made towards Victor's order. They were fairly simple, a plain NY and a plain chocolate but I could spruce both of them up with fresh fruit or decorate them with mousse to make them more appealing.

I scribbled my notes and once I felt I had enough quantities and varieties for the number of people attending, I began portioning and got to work. After about a half an hour of mixing, cooking and cleaning I lost track of time and started operating on autopilot. I made crème puffs, chocolate and white chocolate covered strawberries, mini fruit tarts. As I was about to start some petit fours, I knocked an empty baking sheet off the counter and onto the floor.

It snapped me back to the moment and I looked around and realized that not only had I done a substantial amount of work, I'd made quite a mess. I laughed at myself for getting so caught up.

"Maybe it's good that I took the order," I thought knowing anything I didn't give to Victor I could use to fill the displays.

I pulled the last of the tarts from the oven and separated the items I needed for Victor and the ones I wanted to keep for myself. I took several of the trays from the bakery cases and arranged the extra pastries on them. The rest I packed into boxes and stacked in the refrigerators.

As I put the last of my efforts away, I heard a loud rapping at the back door. When I got to the dock area, I saw Charlie through the narrow window with an anxious look that suddenly dissolved into relief. He nearly burst in when I unlocked the door.

He stooped and hugged me tight, "I've been calling all afternoon, why didn't you answer?"

"I would have if I had known you were trying to reach me," I didn't understand why he was so concerned.

My phone was in the office and Charlie followed me when I went to retrieve it. Victor's card was lying on the desk and for some reason I felt the need to obscure it from Charlie's view. I tucked it under one of my lists and turned to face him, "I'm sorry," I apologized as I looked at the number of missed calls. "I guess I didn't hear it over all the work I've been doing. Someone from the law firm came in and placed an order. I've been busting out pastries ever since."

Charlie sighed and shook his head, "I wish you would have called, at least to check in."

"I tried calling at lunch time but your phone went straight to voicemail. I had already gotten the order by then and needed to get to work. There wasn't time and I didn't think to call again, besides, I left a voicemail."

He put his fist to his forehead and closed his eyes for a long moment to calm himself. It actually looked like his lips were moving and he was counting to ten. I almost giggled but managed to keep it in. "I'm sorry I worried you. Honestly, I got so caught up with what I was doing I lost track of everything else."

"It's okay. You couldn't have known. It's just..." his voice trailed off. He obviously wanted to say something but thought better of it. Instead he finished with, "It's hard not to worry and imagine the worst when I don't hear from you."

"I'm sorry," I apologized again. "Anyway, I was just about to wrap up for the day and since you're here," I motioned to all the dirty dishes and smiled. "Would you mind giving me a hand with these?"

He rolled his eyes, "I see," he said. "You purposefully worried me to the point of showing up so you could put me to work."

I smiled and handed him an apron. There wasn't as much to do as there looked. I rinsed everything down before handing them to Charlie to stack in the dish trays before running them through the washer. "Let's leave them in the racks to dry. I'll put them away tomorrow," I said once he pushed the last tray through.

We rinsed ourselves off and tossed the aprons in the hamper along with all the hand towels I had used throughout the day. Once the kitchen was in order, I double checked the café area making sure I turned off all the lights. I tested the front door and checked all the blinds while Charlie waited by the back door. He let us out and after locking up Charlie asked me what my plans were. I shrugged and said, "Home, I guess."

"Would you like some company?"

"That would be nice," I took his hand and gave him a quick peck, "see you there."

I slid into my car and Charlie took the wheel of his. He followed me home and once there he hopped out and hurried over to get my door and help me out. He was being awfully attentive and I wondered if it was because he felt guilty about the way he left the previous night.

"Is everything alright Charlie?" I didn't want to ask specifically about his abrupt departure and hoped he would volunteer the information on his own.

"No, just glad I worried for nothing, I guess."

"Hmm, okay," I unlocked my apartment and flipped the lights as we walked in.

Charlie made his way to the refrigerator and took a quick inventory. "Are you hungry? I can whip-up some stir-fry if you're interested?"

After baking all day the last thing I wanted was to touch a stove, so I readily agreed and Charlie got to it. I headed towards my bedroom and changed from my work clothes into a pair lounge pants and one of Charlie's t-shirts. When I got back to the kitchen Charlie was sipping a beer and using a spatula to toss the meat and veggies around.

"I poured you a glass of wine," he put his beer down and took the glass from the fridge.

"Thanks," I gratefully accepted the chilled wine and took a leisurely sip.

"Are you excited about Monday?" Charlie started up our conversation.

"I am! Nervous, too though. I have no idea what to expect."

"Do you have all your shifts covered?"

I tallied up the staff, "I sure hope so!" I laughed. "I'll be there all day either way and Margaret offered to come in and help out, too. We should be fine. I don't think we'll be too busy since it's our first day and all."

Charlie sighed as he filled the tip of his spatula with a bit of the stir-fry. "I wish I had remembered to take the day off. Maybe I can stop in at lunchtime." He gave the stir-fry a few quick breaths to cool it down then took a bite to test if it was ready. "I think it's good, would you grab a couple of plates?"

I took down two plates and lined them on the counter for him. He filled each with a generous portion before turning the stove off and covering up the leftovers. As he gathered our meals he motioned to the glasses, "Would you get those?"

"Yep." I nodded. "Silverware?"

"Those, too," Charlie chuckled.

A moment later I joined him at the table. "So, how was your day?" I asked after we'd had a few bites.

Other than worrying about me, Charlie didn't have much to share. He caught up on some stuff for work and told me he spent the rest of the day doing laundry and other things around his apartment. "How about this order for the law firm, is it a big one?"

"About 75 to 100 guests they said."

"Wow! Did you get everything done today?"

"Most," I did a mental inventory of what I'd already made and the few things I had left to bake. "I'll need to finish up a few more things for them tomorrow but they won't take long."

"How are you getting everything to them?"

"They're sending someone to pick it up," I sipped my wine and hoped Charlie wouldn't ask for more details. After seeing his earlier anxiety, I didn't want to say anything that might make him worry about me again. I was sure it would upset him if he knew I let a strange man into the shop while I was there alone.

"Do you need a hand?"

I smiled, "No. I've already packed most of the order and it's not as big as it sounds. Besides isn't there a game on?"

"Preseason, I can skip it."

"Really. It's no big deal. I'll manage," I didn't understand why but I was getting irritable. I hated keeping things from Charlie and it made me feel guilty when I realized I didn't want him to be at the shop with me.

"Well, if you change your mind, let me know. I'm sure I'll be around."

"Thanks," I nodded and picked away at the rest of my dinner.

After we ate Charlie cleaned up and we watched TV together while we lounged on the couch. Charlie rubbed my feet and after a half an hour or so I started getting drowsy. "I'm going to take a quick shower and get ready for bed. Would you like to stay?"

"Sure, there's no sense in heading home now."

By the time I finished washing up, Charlie had fallen asleep on the couch. I nudged him awake, "You know, there's a bed in the other room." He smiled and sat up. After I turned off the TV, I followed him to the bedroom and slipped under the covers beside him.

It took longer than I would have liked to fall asleep but eventually I dozed off and slept so soundly I missed my alarm.

## Chapter 19

"Elayna, wake up."

"Huh?"

"Lily, your alarm."

"Oh, ugh, already?" I rolled to my side and turned the alarm off. As I shook myself from the haziness of sleep, the idea that Charlie had just called me another girl's name struck me.

Charlie looked over full of dazed confusion when I sat bolt upright. "What's wrong?" he asked when he saw the anger and accusation in my face.

"You just called me some other girl's name!"

"What? No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did," I nodded with surety.

Charlie shook his head, "If you say so but you were sound asleep. You must have been dreaming," he heatedly retorted and rolled away.

"No. I heard you quite clear. You called me Elaine or Elayna; something like that."

His body tensed for a moment then he flipped over to face me, "Well, I would freely admit it if I thought I was wrong but I don't know anyone by either of those names," he said dismissively.

"Then why did it upset you when I said them?"

"I'm upset because I feel like you are accusing me of something!"

"Maybe I am."

"Maybe you are," he said, taken aback. He pushed himself to sitting and softened his tone, "Lily, why are you doing this? Are you trying to start a fight with me?"

Ashamed I looked away while striving to make better sense of the situation and the best way to respond. "I don't want to fight with you but I can't help wondering about this thing you're always running off to. When I heard you say that name it made me imagine the worst."

"Well, I didn't and you shouldn't. I've already told you it's nothing, an old friend. We have been together for 5 years now, Lily. As far as I'm concerned I have never given you any reason to doubt me or the way I feel about you."

Charlie was right, of course but I couldn't let it go now that we were talking about it. "Well, if he's a friend of yours why have I never met him?"

"Because he doesn't want to meet you!" Charlie vehemently stated.

"Oh," my lips formed the word but it didn't come out. I sat there on the brink of tears, "Why would he feel that way? Does this person already know me somehow?" I murmured.

Charlie leapt from the bed, "Damn it, Lily! Just drop it, okay?!"

I had never seen Charlie lose control of his anger and didn't know what to do. He gathered his clothes and made his way to the bathroom while I stayed in bed contemplating how to go about resolving things. As I muddled through what just happened the front door to the apartment opened and closed. I listened for a moment hoping he would come right back but all I heard was the rain as it battered the roof and sides of the building. My mind filled with contrition. I tossed the covers and scrambled to the window just in time to see Charlie pull away.

"Oh, God! What have I done?"

It was too late to go after him. I needed to get to the shop to finish up Victor's order and get the displays ready. Each scene from the moment I woke replayed in my mind as I went through the motions of getting dressed for work. I ate a bowl of cereal and sipped a glass of juice. I fought my tears whenever they swelled to the surface and swallowed the lump in my throat. After I put my bowl and glass in the sink, I gathered my things and got ready to leave.

"I overreacted," I told myself more than once. "Maybe I was dreaming, maybe Charlie was just upset because he felt like I was accusing him of something. He was certainly right, I have no reason other than this thing of his to distrust his sincerity."

The events turned over and over in my mind until I realized I was driving too slow and holding up the person behind me. I picked up my pace a little and focused on my day. Other than an advertisement in the local paper and a few random posts on appropriate social sites I hadn't really promoted the café. I believed a good product would sell itself and I should take my time building my business up to where I wanted it to be. The slow and steady path seemed the safest and the one I wanted to follow. I decided I shouldn't worry about not having enough pastries since I didn't expect many customers my very first day. I told myself over and over not to let my opening add to my stress.

By the time I made it to the shop I convinced myself that it would all work out; my opening, Charlie, Victor's order.

"I just need to take things one step at a time."

I put my things in the office, tucked my hair under a kerchief and fastened my apron. I took a deep breath and lined up my ingredients; flour, sugar, butter, eggs. Afterwards I thought briefly about where to begin. I couldn't decide and just started working. Before long I was in the thick of things; not really caring what I made, just as long as I kept busy. I lost myself in my efforts.

Eventually the work wasn't enough of a distraction and I decided to put some music on. I was the only one in the shop, so I didn't hesitate turning it up as loud as I could stand it. I worked, I danced, I sang and was momentarily free from everything bothering me. A song came on that was a favorite of mine. As I kneaded a ball of dough for cinnamon rolls, I started belting out the lyrics with all the emotions that were rubbing me raw.

It felt surprisingly good and I impressed myself with some of the notes I hit. As the music died down, there was a short pause before the DJ began his between song litany and I heard a faint applause coming from behind me.

"Oh, don't let me interrupt!" He had a tremendous grin on his face but Victor's sudden appearance caused my heart to skip a beat and my face to color with shock and shame. "I'm sorry I caught you," he faked a little cough, "off-guard but I knocked front and back. You must not have heard me. The back door was open so I let myself in. I hope you don't mind."

"No," I tried to recover myself but my heart wouldn't stop racing. It made me terribly uncomfortable knowing what he just witnessed and I couldn't think of anything to say. To buy some time, I wiped my hands on my apron and turned the music off. I looked around at everything I'd been working on and decided it was safe to leave momentarily. "Did you need to see me about something? Whoa, be careful," I said as he moved towards me. "It's a bit messy back here. Maybe we should talk in the cafe?"

As I motioned him toward the doorway he looked over his shoulder, "Busy morning," he said scanning my work.

"Yeah, I got a little carried away, lost in my thoughts sort of thing and I didn't realize how much I was doing."

He took a seat at one of the raised tables and watched me settle into the seat across from him. "You still seem upset. I'm so sorry I startled you."

"It's not that."

"Oh? Is everything alright?"

"Everything is just fine," I answered adding an edge of confidence and enthusiasm to my voice.

Thankfully, Victor didn't persist. "Well, I did have something I wanted to talk to you about." He hung his head for a moment and it was impossible to read his face, "You see, wow, this is really awkward." He lifted his eyes and when I met them I felt a strange, yet familiar emptiness sweep over me. While I studied him I had an eerie sense that I knew Victor somehow. He was very attractive and not someone I was likely to forget based on his looks. No matter how much I struggled, though, I couldn't place him.

"This thing tonight, I realize you've worked really hard doing this order for us. Maybe after everything you've done you would rather sit home and relax," his words came too quickly for me to puzzle out what he was about to ask. "But I was hoping that if you don't have any plans, you'd like to come with me; you know, as my date."

The question flabbergasted me and I wasn't sure I heard him correctly, but then he went on.

"I think you would have a really good time and I would enjoy the opportunity to start making up for the imposition I put you in."

"Don't do it!" My mind screamed. "I'd love to," I found myself saying. "Oh, God, where did that come from?" I thought as another wave of shame swept over me. I didn't know how to take it back though, it seemed like my brain was stuttering and it wouldn't settle on a coherent thought.

"Great," Victor stood up before I managed to come up with a way of retracting myself. He had a happy, oddly satisfied look on his face. ""How's 6 for you?"

"6 is good."

"Pick you up here?"

"Perfect."

"It's dinner and a cocktail party; I'll be wearing a suit, if that helps at all."

It did, "Yes, that's good to know," I attempted a smile but I was so full of trepidation I knew it didn't look sincere. He shifted and waited to see if I had anything more to say. I didn't want him to leave before I found an excuse to withdraw my agreement but he was obviously ready to go. "Did you park in the front or the back?" I asked.

"Front," he said.

"Here, I'll let you out this way then." I made my way to the front door, unlocked it and ushered him through.

"See you tonight!" he called as I pulled the door closed and locked up behind him.

"Oh, my. Oh, my! What did I just do? Why did I say yes? How could I do this to Charlie?" I buried my face in my hands. My head throbbed as I stood there and realized how shallow I just behaved.

I wandered back to the kitchen and put the finishing touches on the various things I had been working on. It took over an hour for me to get everything tucked away, tidied and all the work stations in order. I looked at the clock and decided I should put off any more work for the day. "How could I have made so many mistakes in such a few short hours?" I berated myself while I got ready to leave.

I stripped off my apron and took the kerchief from my hair. After I tossed them both in the laundry bag, I gathered my things from the office. I checked my phone for any calls or messages from Charlie but there weren't any. When I got to the back door, I turned the handle expecting it to be unlocked remembering that was how Victor said he got in. "Huh, that's odd," I didn't recall locking it up after Victor left but I was too busy being angry with myself to dwell on it. Once I got outside, I slipped my key in the bolt and gave it a turn. I shook the handle and tugged on the door to double check then made the short drive to my apartment.

As soon as I walked in I checked my home phone for messages only to be disappointed again. I took off my dusty clothes and decided to make the most of the afternoon by getting ready for, "My date." I still couldn't believe I said, "yes." Victor was a complete stranger and though he was attractive and seemed to have a decent personality there was something about him that spoke of duplicity.

"I'm one to judge," I thought to myself as I eased into a bath.

Nearly an hour passed while I soaked. When I finally noticed how much the water had cooled, it reminded me I needed to finish up. After shaving and showering I toweled off and made my way to my bedroom where I rifled through the closet for something to wear. I chose a mid-calf cocktail dress I bought a year or so before. It was a random purchase and I didn't have an occasion in mind when I picked it out. The color was striking though, something between black and purple or purple and black. "Eggplant," the salesperson called it.

It fit so well and I felt indulgent that day, so I had it rung up and brought it home. Since then the dress had hung in its shopping bag cocoon in the back of my closet waiting for an opportunity to wear it.

"Well, it still fits," I smiled as I admired myself and the dress in the mirror.

I went back to the bathroom and stooped to fetch my make-up from under the vanity. Though, I didn't wear it very often, I had a substantial collection. I read a few of the labels and placed the things I planned using to one side before putting everything else away. I pulled my hair back and carefully applied my make-up.

When I finished, I wondered what to do with my hair. I held it up on the top of my head, fastened it behind my ears and put it in a bun at the nape of my neck. Nothing really struck me, though, so I opted to put the bulk of it in a loose band and sling it over my shoulder. Then I curled a few tendrils letting them fall freely to accent the look.

By then it was nearly 5 o'clock, so I donned my shoes and grabbed one of Charlie's old dress shirts from the closet. I brought it with me with me to use as a lab coat to protect my dress while I packed up the pastries for the function. The sky was still overcast but no longer raining as I hurried to the shop. I made sure to lock up after I stepped in so I wouldn't receive any surprise visitors again.

As I pulled the lid down over the last of the boxes, I heard a soft rap at the back door. I smiled at Victor as I unlocked it and shepherded him through. "Are you alone?" I asked. "I thought you were bringing someone to help with the desserts."

"They're in the middle of dinner and the staff we hired is busy serving everyone."

"Hmm. Well, I guess you and I can manage," I motioned to all the boxes.

"Wow," he said but he wasn't looking at the desserts, he was looking at me. I blushed profusely when I realized he had given me an off-hand compliment.

"Let's start with these," I turned away hoping to collect myself."

Victor's car was small and sporty, so I offered to take mine. He shook his head no, "Call me old fashioned but it just wouldn't feel right having you drive."

With careful placement, we managed to fit everything either into his trunk or backseat. When we finished stacking it all I unbuttoned Charlie's shirt and revealed my dress underneath.

"Very nice," he smiled and nodded. "That's quite the color," he reached into his coat and drew out his tie. He shifted it so it caught the light at different angles and I realized it was nearly the same shade as my dress.

A shiver of panic ran through me and I stumbled backwards.

"Are you alright?" Victor stepped towards me and took my elbows to steady me.

His fingers were like ice where they touched my bare skin and I instinctively pulled away. "Yes, I'm sorry. I guess... wow...I just had a little déjà vu there. I feel like I've done something like this before."

Victor looked a little worried for a moment but quickly composed himself. "I felt a little something like that, too, the first time I saw you," his words were soft and calculatedly shy but I didn't seem to recognize their falsity.

To me his voice sounded reassuring, comforting somehow and a touch of giddiness flooded my insides. I smiled and my words tumbled out, "I'm so glad you asked me to go with you tonight."

He took my hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze, "Me, too. Now let's deliver this bonanza so we can make the most of whatever's left of our evening."

He drove cautiously and made sure he didn't turn too sharply or accelerate too quickly. Luckily none of the desserts shifted or got damaged during the short drive to his office. He brought me to the lobby and had me take a seat near the elevators.

"Would you mind giving me a minute? I'd like to see if some of the servers are free now and can give us a hand bringing everything up."

I nodded and sat then idly waited for Victor to return. Within a few minutes he came back with a handful of the wait staff.

"We're in luck," he motioned me over. "They said they will take care of everything from here and make sure it's all arranged for display and serving."

I watched as they systematically gathered each of the boxes and stepped into one of the elevators. Once they were on their way Victor called the other car for us.

"Well, I guess there's nothing left to do now but enjoy one another's company," his gaze was very intense as the elevator door slid closed. He took a step closer and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead he took my chin in his fingertips and tilted my face from side to side. It seemed like he was searching for something and trying to get the right light to see it in.

There was a little flash of revulsion in his expression that my mind refused to acknowledge, "You have green eyes," he said. "I've never met anyone with green eyes; grey eyes but never green. They are very beautiful," he said the last part too flatly and it didn't sound quite like a compliment but I smiled, anyway.

I felt a little disoriented when the car stopped. I took a long, slow breath and let it all out as Victor offered me his arm and we stepped from the elevator. The room fell silent for a moment and it seemed like everyone turned to us at once, almost as if they were expecting us. The only sound I heard was a slight murmuring from the people standing nearest us sipping cocktails and daintily nibbling on hors d'oeuvres. My eyes nervously darted from one person to the next before I turned my gaze to Victor wonderingly. He didn't seem to notice anything amiss and I wondered if my conscience was getting the better of me and I was imagining things.

Smiling, he looked down, "Are you hungry, or would you prefer something to drink for the moment."

When he spoke a sense of normalcy crept into everything I thought I perceived and his voice swept all the strange sensations away.

"A glass of wine might be nice," I tried sounding poised but I was floundering in self-consciousness.

"This way," he led me to one of the bars set up along the wall. "Red or white?"

"Red, thank you."

He handed me a glass but only ordered a sparkling water with lime for himself. He made a sour face as he took a sip, "Eww, that first taste is always so bitter."

"Water? Bitter?" I giggled.

Victor grinned back, "I have a sensitive palate," he teased.

Whatever iciness I'd been feeling vanished. Victor held his elbow out and slowly led me around the room while I sipped my wine. As we walked, he pointed out various members of his firm while explaining their roles to some degree or other. I took an active interest, eager to keep the chill at bay and asked what I hoped were appropriate and worthwhile questions.

Eventually, he decided to change the conversation and asked me questions about where I was from and where I went to school; questions about my family, my friends, my relationships. I grew disconcerted when he asked whether I was dating or involved with anyone. I carefully arranged my answer then redirected the conversation by asking questions about him; what was his role with the company, where did he go to school and so forth. He was not very forthright with the information he gave. Most of what he said sounded vague and consisted of one or two word answers.

After a few minutes he grew impatient with my questions. Victor interrupted me and took my hand, "I want you to meet someone," he said.

It ended up being more than one someone. He introduced me to one coworker after another with hardly a moment to collect myself in between.

"This is my date, Lily Donovan; she owns the bake shop down the street. She made all the desserts for our little party tonight."

I heard the explanation more than once and yet with every repetition Victor managed to make it sound fresh. I met several of the attorneys, a few paralegals as well as one or two of the partners that started the firm. Most of the conversations ended up being brief though once or twice someone's curiosity got the better of them and they asked a variety of questions; about baking, about my business, how I fell into it all.

Victor seemed irritated whenever this happened and impatient to get away from whoever we happened to be speaking with. I couldn't help wondering why he would insist I meet someone then whisk me away before we had a chance to become acquainted. It quickly grew frustrating and Victor must have sensed my weariness. Before I could ask him why and what his motive was, he asked if I wanted to take a little break and sit down for a few minutes.

I bit back my questions and answered with, "That would be nice."

He pulled a chair for me and had me sit at one of the nearby tables while he fetched another glass of wine for me. "Here you are," he grinned as he handed it to me. "So, you were a big hit tonight," he said, "I wish I had known how popular you'd be, I would have taken you somewhere else instead," he chuckled lightly. "I feel like I've spent time with everyone but you."

He sounded disappointed but it wasn't completely convincing. I wished I could make sense of whatever I was feeling. There was a lack of sincerity in everything Victor did and said. It all came across as technically pleasing but not emotionally; something was missing. It bothered me and rather than offer a reply I absently looked at my watch. It was later than I imagined.

"Well, I wish we had more time to get to know one another but I need to call it a night. I still have a grand opening to attend tomorrow."

Victor glanced around, "Yeah, sure, I think you've made a memorable impression and I can safely excuse you at this point."

His reply seemed odd but again I ignored my inner misgivings. I just smiled and accepted his hand as he helped me up. He said goodnight to several people as we made our way to the reception area and the front doors to the office. Once we were in the elevator, I realized how exhausted I was. The morning started out bad enough and drained me before I even reached the shop. That and working all day then spending the evening out with Victor; I felt like I was ready to drop dead.

"Not yet," I thought I heard him say.

"What's that?" I was looking at the floor and wrapped up in my own concerns as we rode down.

"Hmm, I didn't say anything," Victor shrugged his shoulders.

"Gosh, I must really be tired."

"Are you? I can drive you home if you want and if there's someone who can get you to your opening."

"It's kind of you to offer, but no, I'd rather not put you, or anyone else out. Thank you anyway."

He smiled and pulled from the parking area. I turned my head away and looked out the window as we drove along. Now that the night was nearly over I found myself confronted with the prospect of having to face Charlie when I got home. As I thought about what I would say and how Charlie would react, I began to realize that it was taking longer than it should to get to the shop.

"Victor, you missed the turn for the cafe."

"Did I?" he raised his eyebrows in mock surprise.

"Yes, I'm sure you did."

"Pity," he said and continued to drive.

A fit of apprehension seized me as I eyed him and wondered what his intentions were. "Would you please take me to the shop? It's been a long night and I'd like to go home."

"Home," he breathed. "I like the sound of that. I would like to go home, too. Tell me, Lily, do you have a home; not a residence, not some place you live but a home, with family and friends?"

"Of course I do. Everyone does."

"Do they?"

"Please, Victor. You're scaring me."

He laughed and continued driving. I wasn't sure what to do. Part of me wanted to unbuckle and jump from the car but he was going far too fast for me to make a successful attempt without killing myself. I hadn't told anyone where I was or who I was with and knew I was helpless, defenseless. The people at the law firm would remember, if anything happened to me, that I was with Victor. Surely that must act as a bit of insurance against anything too severe.

"No, it won't."

"What?" I asked.

"As far as they know, you were there but you left with someone else."

"That's impossible." I said shaking my head in disbelief.

He looked at me; his gaze bore into me, "Is it?" My mind flooded with the image of myself as I sat at the table just before we left. Victor handed me my glass of wine and I snatched it from his hand then tossed its contents into his face. As I stormed towards the front door, I seized Charlie by the elbow and dragged him along with me.

"Oh, that wasn't very nice of you, now was it?"

"How did you do that? It's not possible," my voice trembled with terror.

"Hmm," was the only reply I received.

"Where are you taking me?"

He smiled, "I'm taking you home, of course. I'm taking you home, Lily."

## Chapter 20

My mind went wild casting for a way to out of the situation. I instinctively understood there was something more to Victor than I was capable of dealing with and quickly discarded every momentary option I considered. Having no idea how dangerous Victor's intentions were, I decided it best not to take any chances until it became absolutely necessary.

After about a half hour had passed, I realized the area we were driving in was familiar to me. It seemed like Victor was taking me to Aunt Margaret's.

"Humph," Victor snorted, "Aunt Margaret's. She's no aunt of yours."

I turned my head and faced him, astonished by his words. "What do you mean? And why are you bringing me there? What do you want with us?"

"All in good time," he sighed.

"Please, Victor. I'll do whatever you want but leave Margaret out of this. She's old and helpless and never done anything to hurt anyone. Please don't take me there!" My eyes stung with unshed tears while I worried over Victor's plans.

"You'd be surprised how cruel she can be."

"No, she's never done anything unkind, not to anyone! I'm sure of it!" An impulse to reach out and grab the steering wheel, deliberately causing us to crash passed through me.

Before I could act, though, Victor struck me with a ferocious backhand, "None of that," he said. I tasted the blood when it flooded my mouth and trickled from the corner of my lips. Victor reached over and crudely wiped it as it dribbled towards my chin. "Mmm," he moaned running his tongue around his fingertips, "now I understand why Michael loves you so much. I'm tempted to take you right now but I've waited a long time for this moment and it will be so much better once we're all together."

"Michael?" I thought to myself. "Who's Michael?" I blurted out loud.

"Don't play dumb! It's so unbecoming."

"I'm not. I don't know anyone named Michael."

"Of course you do! He's right there," he poked a violent finger between my eyes. "In fact, he's everywhere on you, I can practically smell him in your hair, on your skin, on your breath. How is it even possible? What did he do to you and how is it that you are still alive and so distinctly his?"

Though I didn't understand what Victor was saying I felt the need to defend myself from the lie he seemed to believe of me. "You're wrong. I've only known one man; there is only one man that I have ever loved."

This declaration brought on a fit of laughter when Victor heard it, "Michael will be very disappointed to learn that. I'm sure he has been beside himself with grief sharing you with Charlie all these years. Now to find out you never really loved him. I couldn't have placed the cherry more artfully on top."

The tears swimming in my eyes spilled over and ran down my cheeks. "Charlie, Margaret, oh, please, God, don't let him hurt them," I whispered the prayer in my head.

"Stop sniveling! It's disgusting, so human, so weak. You're all pathetic you know that!" I shrunk away from Victor as he screamed at me terrified he might hit me again.

I quieted my tears and turned my head so I wouldn't have to look at him. A few minutes later we pulled into Margaret's driveway. As he brought the car to a stop, I bolted from the passenger's seat and raced toward the front door hoping to get in and lock him out. Victor reached the porch before I did though and grabbed hold of me by the throat as I stumbled up the stairs. The front door swung wide and before he could compose and defend himself, Kaley lunged for him knocking Victor off balance. When he stumbled backwards, he released his grip on me. Kaley forced him into the driveway and it took all his strength to deal with the brutal attack she unleased on him.

I ushered Margaret inside and bolted the door behind us. A moment later I heard Kaley give a hideous yelp. I knew she had died during her attempt to defend me from Victor. I broke for the kitchen and clumsily gathered up the phone. My hands were shaking and I was sobbing so badly I kept hitting the wrong buttons as I tried punching 911 into the dial pad.

The front door exploded off its hinges and the commotion froze me with a newfound fear. The phone slipped from my fingers and clattered to the floor. Victor gave Margaret a cursory shove as he brushed by her and leapt towards me.

"Call him," he growled through a tightly clenched jaw.

"Victor," Margaret gasped but stood there strangely calm as she spoke. "Please, let her go. She doesn't know who you mean. I can assure you, there is nothing there, no one for her to call. Michael left her years ago. She doesn't remember who he is any more."

I looked at Margaret full of confused amazement. My mind raced through everyone I knew trying to figure out who they could mean; who Victor wanted me to call. I stooped and picked up the phone, "I'll call him. I'll call whoever you want me to call. Just give me their number! I'll talk to whoever you want me to; tell them whatever you want," my words came out in a series of stutters.

Victor looked from me to Margaret and back again. "I think I have made myself abundantly clear," he swiped the phone from my hand. "Call him! Call him now or by God, I will kill her slowly," he glared at Margaret, "while you watch," he growled at me.

Something snapped inside me. I started screaming and clawing at Victor, "No! No! Don't hurt Margaret! I won't let you! I won't let you!"

He seized my wrists and shoved me to the floor. As I landed, I skidded several feet from where he was standing.

"Victor! Victor! You don't understand!" Margaret screamed turning his attention away from me.

I was near the island and scrambled to my feet. Victor eyed Margaret while she struggled to convince him what he was asking for was no longer possible. Margaret kept Victor distracted and while he listened to whatever she was telling him I reached into one of the drawers. I wrapped my hand around one of the large kitchen knives Margaret kept there. I rushed at Victor determined to kill him before he could hurt Margaret or myself any further.

It caught him off-guard and as I swung the blade, it sliced a huge gash in his cheek. He raised his left hand and covered the wound then caught my next attack with his right, "I see you have some fight it you! Well, so have I!"

Victor wrestled the blade from my hand. He grasped it between his thumb and forefinger and tossed it toward Margaret. It took her in her left shoulder and she collapsed to the floor. He snatched me around my waist and forced me close. He held my back to his chest and laid his lips against my ear. "Another move like that and I will put your hand on that blade and have you draw it across her throat! Do you understand me?!"

I nodded and shuddered letting go of all the fury that had possessed me.

"Good. Now call Michael."

"I swear to you, I don't know anyone named Michael and I don't know how to call him." I stood grief-stricken watching the blood pooling on Margaret's clothes. "Please let me help her," I made a move towards her.

"She'll be fine," he wrapped a hand around my hair and yanked me back. "Sit," he pushed me down onto one of the kitchen stools. "Now, Mother. Dear, dear Mother, let's see if we can jog her memory. I want you to tell your little ward, here, exactly who Michael is."

"Mother," I thought to myself, "Margaret is Victor's mother."

Margaret's lips trembled as she searched for her voice.

"Well, get up already and join us!" Victor kicked another stool toward her. "There, there, calm yourself. No, don't take the blade out! It will only make it worse."

She stumbled toward the stool, "Michael is Victor's brother," Margaret began.

"Ah," Victor sighed and took a seat himself. He released me and placed his hands on the table while he used his foot to urge my stool closer.

"Michael is my son..."

"I'm your fucking son!"

Margaret recoiled at Victor's outburst but quickly recovered herself. "Victor and Michael are my sons," she corrected. "You met Michael when you were a little girl. You were someone very special to him and after you lost your parents..."

"After I killed your parents. Let's not be delicate." Victor interjected.

"After Victor killed your parents, Michael brought you to me. You were twelve years old and all alone. Michael asked me if you could stay here with me. He loved you," she paused. "Michael loves you. He begged me to take care of you; insisted I give you a good life and do my best to make up for what Victor had done to your parents. He helped me whenever he could and together we kept you safe and happy and hidden."

"Oh, how touching! It makes me despise you even more knowing you would rather raise Michael's hapless wretch of an orphan than your own son!! You always did love him best! Anything for Michael but nothing for me!" Victor exclaimed.

I looked from one to the other in bewilderment, "My parents died in a car crash. I was with them."

Victor raised his eyebrows, "Were you? Is that what they told you? Is that the tragic picture Michael put in your head?"

"Margaret is my aunt, my only living relative. I had nowhere else to go."

"Margaret is no more your aunt than I am human," Victor tossed his head back and laughed.

"Not human," the words echoed in my mind.

"Yes, and neither is your precious Michael! I saw to that myself," he puffed on his nails and mockingly polished them on his lapel.

I eyed Victor hoping to get a better understanding. No information was forthcoming, so I turned my gaze back to Margaret and she began speaking again.

"I don't know what happened. As boys they were always so close. Victor was nearly two years older than Michael and Michael looked up to him and admired him all their young lives. They did everything together and for the longest time were the best of friends."

"Is that what you think? I never cared about Michael. Michael was a fucking usurper! That little bastard took everything from me starting with you! From the day he was born, he was nothing more than a leech! A squealing pig that took all your time and love and attention. If you gave me even half so much as you gave him none of us would be here right now!"

"What are you saying, Victor? You know that's not true. Your father and I loved you just as much as we loved Michael. Neither of you were ever less than the other to us! We would never have done anything to hurt you."

"Huh, is that so?"

"Were you," Margaret cocked her head at Victor wonderingly, "jealous of Michael? Is that what this is all about?"

Victor clenched his jaw but waved the statement away as unimportant.

"Do you remember when I was 10 years old and Father gave me a pocket knife for my birthday?"

"Yes, of course I do. I always hated that gift! A harmless toy, your father insisted."

"Do you know what my first thought was when I touched it?" Victor chuckled as he watched the revulsion in Margaret's face. "A harmless toy; maybe it was, at first anyway. But over time it came to be so much more to me. I took so many little lives with that knife! Every bug, every rodent, every piece of filth I slashed I imagined it was Michael. So many lives, so many; and after a while it wasn't enough to kill those things, I needed to hurt them, too."

I studied Victor and saw a malevolent gleam flickering in his eyes.

"I don't understand. Why, Victor? Why would you ever want to hurt anything, especially your brother?" Margaret asked.

He raised his chin, refusing to answer. "None of you ever knew. I was careful not to get caught but Michael suspected something. He saw me sneak away from time to time and one day he decided to find out why. I made it easy for him to follow me and pretended not to notice. Michael was 11 or 12 years old by then and his best friend was a girl who lived a few short blocks away. Her name was Lily."

"Oh," I gasped.

"That's right, you weren't the first Lily," Victor caustically stated. "Not very original, if you ask me but I'm sure he thought he was honoring her by giving you her name."

"My name isn't Lily?" I posed the question to Margaret.

"It's Elayna."

"Elayna! That's what Charlie called me this morning when my alarm went off. We got into a fight because I thought it was some other woman's name."

This caused another bout of laughter from Victor.

"Charlie doesn't know, or at least I've never told him," Margaret choked back a cough and it renewed the alarm I felt for her. I realized how vast the bloodstain on her shoulder had grown.

I phrased a new plea to Victor, "She needs a doctor. She's too old to suffer like this."

"Ha," he snorted at me, "I know what it's like to suffer and that is nowhere near close enough to cause me any concern," he shook his head. "Now where was I? Ah, yes, Lily. Lily had gotten a new puppy and she loved it more than anything in the world. I found that little puppy alone in her yard that day and, well, you can just imagine what I did to it. Michael saw it all. I caught him before he could run and tell anyone. Even though I begged and pleaded with him not to I was sure he would tell you. He swore he never would."

"He didn't. Not at first anyway," Margaret hung her head.

Victor shrugged, "He never told Lily, either. Perhaps he should have."

I shook my head in disbelief as a distant memory grazed the surface of my mind. "It could have been different then. It might not have been too late then," I whispered.

"That's right! See you do remember."

"No, it's not my memory," I said awestruck. "It's yours." Somehow I saw it, pictured the moment in Victor's mind.

He took my chin and searched my eyes. My stomach did a little flip, "Interesting," he released me. "Well, Lily, she was a very pretty girl and grew even more so as she got older. By the time she was 14 she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She and Michael spent all their free time together. I hated her for loving him and treated her horribly whenever she came by. She talked to me like I was her friend, though, and no matter how abrasive or badly I acted towards her, she was always nice to me. She was always so nice," he sighed. "I'm sure she only did it for Michael. By then I knew what I was; I knew she could never love someone like me but no matter how hard I tried not to, I loved her anyway."

"I told Michael, I asked him to let her go, to give me a chance. What did it matter? Everything came so easy for him, so why not? He would find someone else. Of course he refused. There was only one thing I could do; I had to tell her. I needed to tell her how I felt and hope she would realize she felt the same. When I called her, I pretended I was Michael and asked her to meet me. I told her there was something I wanted to talk to her about."

Victor closed his eyes.

Margaret started speaking, ever so softly, "I remember the look on Michael's face when we found out Lily had been hurt. It devastated him. I took him to see her in the hospital but by the time we got there it was too late. She never had a chance to tell anyone what had happened to her or who was responsible. It broke his heart and when we got home Michael confided in me. He told me everything he knew about you, Victor; everything he saw and everything he suspected."

I looked from one to the other and wondered how someone so good could be the mother of someone so sinister.

"You're such a fool! Do you believe everything Michael tells you? He may have suspected but there was never any proof I might have killed Lily, was there? You and Father and Michael, you went to the police. Did you ever think for a moment it might not have been me? You never even bothered to ask, you just accepted Michael's word and turned your own son in for a crime you had not one iota of proof he committed."

"But you did do it, didn't you Victor?" Margaret asked.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you I didn't; and what does it matter now, anyway?"

Margaret sighed, "The police followed us home but Victor had already been there. His things were gone and we never heard from him again. Michael was grief-stricken; he felt responsible and insisted we find you, get you help. He thought we could save you, Victor. We looked everywhere for you even though your father was completely against it. "It's better this way," he said and never spoke of you again. Michael and I tried, I swear we tried to find you and bring you home."

Victor screamed, "If it wasn't for Michael none of this would have happened!! He was so busy being the good son that he forgot to be a good brother! He knew, he knew! Long before any of you - he should have helped me before it was too late!" He seemed embarrassed by his outburst and abruptly stood up. He brushed the folds from his coat and quickly regained his composure.

"It doesn't matter. This is where we are, now right Lily, Elayna, whatever the hell you call yourself? I'm sure you can imagine the rest. It was your typical downward spiral; drugs, crime, loss of life. Well, not quite that last bit," Victor grinned. "Before I met Abram, I lived 9 years of friendless, family-less misery but I always knew there was a place in this world for someone like me. I thank him every day for giving me this great gift! Ever in your wildest dreams did you think something like this was possible?" He snatched my wrist and before I realized what he was doing he sunk into my arm and took a deep pull from my veins.

My eyes widened in shock but I couldn't find the will to react, it was as if he held me locked in a strange mental paralysis. He loosened his grip and stepped away then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. I watched in fascinated horror as the cut on his cheek shimmered and healed leaving behind a flawless layer of skin where the gash had been.

"Oh, God," I sunk from the stool and fell to my knees.

"There is no God, trust me," he snickered.

I looked up as he loomed over me, "Call him; call Michael."

"I can't."

He struck me, rattling my teeth, "Call him!"

"I don't know how."

"I have waited long enough! Bring him to me!"

I looked at Margaret praying for some understanding and insight into what Victor wanted me to do. She shook her head regretfully.

Victor wrapped my hair in his fist and hauled me to my feet. He lifted his hand to strike me again but as he raised his arm a voice commanded from the hallway, "Let her go or I will drain you to within a drop of your life and tear you limb from limb."

When he came into view, there was no mistaking that this was the Michael they had been talking about. Aside from the fact that he was long overdue for a haircut and a shave the resemblance between the two brothers was so remarkable they might have been twins. As he stepped into the kitchen someone moved from behind him.

"Charlie!" It overjoyed me to see him and I took a step towards him but Victor yanked me back.

"Not so fast," he held me tight.

Michael stood motionless, momentarily torn between who to help first. He clenched his teeth and ushered Margaret away from the table ignoring Victor and me for the moment. He grasped the blade that still protruded from Margaret's shoulder and gently eased it free. Afterwards he made the tear in her blouse a little wider and revealed the gash beneath. I watched with amazement as he severed the tip of his finger and smoothed the blood that bubbled out over the wound on Margaret's shoulder. It shimmered just like the cut on Victor's cheek had. Michael wiped the blood she lost away, and when he did, it revealed the newly unblemished skin where moments ago the knife had been.

"Charlie, please. Help her outside and take her away from here."

Charlie looked apologetically towards me and though there was nothing I would have liked more than the reassurance of having him stay with me, I nodded acquiescence. Charlie wrapped her arm around his shoulder and led Margaret from the house. I heard a car start and pull away.

"Elayna, are you hurt?" Michael took a step closer.

An image flashed in my mind of Michael gripping my shoulders and draining the life from me while I helplessly struggled against him.

He reached out a hand to help me away from Victor, "No!" I cried. The memory horrified me and I recoiled from his touch.

Victor found this absolutely riotous, "Oh, how the mighty have fallen!" Victor shuffled me to the far end of the kitchen, getting us several paces further away from Michael.

"Elayna, please, it's me, Michael," I felt his presence in my mind, sifting through my memories looking for something, anything that would convince me I could trust him.

"You don't remember me," he sighed, utterly distraught, "and it's my fault." He hid his face in his hands then ran his fingers through his hair, pulling it all back and away from his face. He unbowed his head and his hands fell to his side. Michael's gaze bored into me from where he stood, "Let her go Victor, this is between you and me."

Something tugged on my insides and I took a dazed step towards Michael.

"Elayna," Victor softly called.

I was torn. I looked over my shoulder and Victor smiled at me. He cocked his head motioning me back and I didn't have the will to resist. I stepped towards him and squeezed his hand. Victor had a wicked grin as he drew me close. He watched with intense satisfaction while a horrified expression swept across Michael's face. Victor leaned down and took my lips in his.

When he pulled away, he whirled me around so I was facing Michael. He tucked my hair over my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "Love me," Victor commanded.

"I love you," I sighed and leaned my head against Victor's chest.

He stroked my neck with the back of his hand, "Say it again, so Michael can hear you."

"I love you, Victor."

Michael was beside himself, shaking with anger, "Elayna," he commanded.

My eyes went wide.

"Uh, uh, ah," Victor admonished, "this is where you belong."

"Yes," I breathed, "I belong with you."

Victor laughed out loud, "I guess they were telling the truth. There's nothing there, is there? Oh, I knew the time was right. Look at her," he waved his hand from the top of my head the length of my body. "All grown up and everything you ever wanted her to be but she's no longer yours," he kissed me again.

Michael took a step towards us, "Let her go, Victor!"

"Sorry little brother, no can do," he inched us away. "I thought I would kill her; how else could I possibly hurt you more than you have hurt me than by taking her? I've had a change of heart, though, because now... oh, now I can envision so much more."

Victor glanced at the blade Michael had left lying on the island. Before Michael could react, Victor tightened his grip around my waist and lunged for it. He laid it against my neck, "How do you manage to get yourself into these predicaments, eh? It would be a shame to let her go to waste but don't imagine I won't do it."

"No, don't, Victor," Michael pleaded. He held his hands up in submission and stepped back.

"Good choice," Victor used me to shield himself as he ushered us toward the door. He mockingly waved farewell to Michael then whirled me down the hallway and out into the night.

Michael sunk to his knees in defeat. He hung his head stupefied and unable to escape the image of Victor's lips on mine and my determined declaration, "I love you, Victor," as it played over and over in his mind, confusing his thoughts.

A few minutes later Charlie returned.

"Where's Lily?" he asked.

Michael looked up and shook his head in answer.

"He has her, doesn't he?"

Michael's lips quivered, "Yes, he took her Charlie...she's gone."

Charlie shook his head, "No... no...NO!!" he screamed. "You swore this would never happen. You promised to protect her and that we would have a life together!" Charlie pivoted on his heel.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find Lily and I'm going to bring her back."

It snapped Michael to his senses and he realized what he needed to do, "No Charlie, it's too dangerous. I'll find her. They can't have gone far; it's too late. Where's Margaret?"

"She's at Lily's."

"In the trunk, Charlie, there's a flare gun. Stay with Margaret. Keep her safe."

Before Charlie could protest or insist on coming Michael vanished.

## Chapter 21

Victor dropped the blade and tumbled me into his car then quickly took the driver's seat. I was in a heady delirium and turned myself towards him when he pulled from Margaret's driveway. He was scowling as we raced away leaving the evening's events behind us. I folded my hands and rested them on my lap. After he urged the car into its highest gear Victor reached over and took my left in a determined grip.

I squeezed him back, "Please, Victor, be gentle."

He apologized and relaxed his hold. "I'm sorry," he said and brought my knuckles to his lips.

"It's okay, Victor," I smiled. "Where are we going?" I tilted my head curiously.

He smiled back, "Not far, not tonight anyway."

I drew my legs up as he drove and curled myself into the passenger's seat, "I'm so sleepy," I yawned.

"Of course you are," he raised his hand to my cheek and I leaned into the pleasure of his touch. "It won't be long," he assured me. "We'll be home soon and then you can rest."

"You're so sweet," I sighed.

I closed my eyes and didn't notice the minutes passing. I hardly realized when we stopped and Victor guiding me from the car. He helped me into the lobby of an exclusive condominium complex located in the middle of downtown. We rode the elevator up to the penthouse and Victor offered me his arm as the doors slid back to reveal a spectacularly well-appointed apartment.

I looked left and right then slowly turned in a complete circle taking it all in. "It's breathtaking," I cooed as Victor watched me while he slipped out of his jacket.

"Thank you," he sounded sincerely pleased.

I walked towards him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, "You're breathtaking," I tiptoed and whispered in his ear.

As his lips traced my neck, a tiny prick startled me. His tongue ran over the flesh from my collarbone to my chin while my mind went completely blank. My eyes fell closed when I finally felt the pressure of his lips against mine again and I lost myself in his kiss.

"Oh, Victor," I moaned as he pulled away.

He brought his wrist to his mouth and made a tiny incision. Part of me revolted at the idea but the droplets were compelling and I couldn't resist the urge to taste them as he raised his arm to my lips. He put his hand on the back of my head and guided me to the streak of blood that trickled towards his elbow. It was ice-like as it slid down my throat but then it suddenly seemed to blaze up and it raged inside me. I wanted more but Victor eased me away. I stood back shivering while the heat expanded throughout my body.

"Not yet," he rebuked me. "Not tonight. Soon, love, soon." He took my face in his hands and kissed me so intimately, so passionately I felt faint.

"Say it again, tell me who you love."

"I love you, Victor. I love you."

He took the collar of my dress in his hands and tore it from neck to navel then folded it back. I shrugged out of it, letting it fall to the floor then reached for Victor's shirt and slowly, methodically unbuttoned it. I wanted to take my time, to appreciate the moment and have it be memorable and loving because that was the only way I had ever experienced it.

Victor looked down at me as I tugged his shirt from his pants and slipped it from his shoulders. I smiled up at him but quickly lost the expression because something dark and foreboding was lurking in his eyes. I didn't want to see it and wished that I hadn't because it suddenly filled me with hesitation. My body was begging for Victor to take me but my heart was screaming NO! NEVER!

I think Victor sensed my reluctance. Before I could protest or discourage him in any way, though, he wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed my back against the wall. For half a moment I fought against him but as soon as I felt him inside me my resistance melted into demand. My arms threw themselves around his shoulders and my legs constricted into a vice-like grip. I forgot everything else except the need for fulfillment.

When it was over tears rained down my cheeks and it was impossible for me to recognize with any certainty whether they were tears of bliss or utter remorse. Victor heaved against me and didn't notice them at first. When he raised his head and saw how distraught I was his eyes went wild with anger.

He seized me by the throat, "You will love me!! You will!!" and he latched on and drained me mercilessly until I lost the strength to stand on my own. "Oh, God," he screamed when he realized what he was doing, "No, no, NO!! Not like this!" he bent down and with the gentlest, most wistful of caresses kissed me. He made another incision on his arm and held it to my lips.

"I'm sorry," he whispered over and over again, "I'm so sorry, Lily. Please, please forgive me," he begged.

He stopped, sensing any more would be too much and brushed the hair from my face tucking it behind my ears. "Please," he cried as he studied my face and feared the worst.

I opened my eyes but I was too weak it seemed for anything else. He scooped me up and brought me to the bedroom, softly placing me on the bed and tucking the covers all around me. He kissed each of my eyelids then abruptly stood up and paced the length of the room.

The hours had gotten away from him and as he berated himself for what he had done Victor couldn't decide whether to stay or rush off to rest. Ultimately he knew there was nothing more he could do. When the first of the morning's rays struck him, he took one last glance at me and rushed from the room locking me in as he left.

I slept well into the afternoon all the while dreaming of Michael. I pictured him looking for me; driving as best as the roads would take him in circles starting from Margaret's and spiraling outward. It seemed like he was calling out to me over and over and over again. His voice reminded me of the little tendril I always imagined that kept us connected through all the years of knowing one another. I wanted to reach out and grasp it and pull it close but it was so elusive; sometimes feeling oh-so-close and others drifting further and further away. I tried calling back. Every time I did, though, my mind filled with the dread of Victor hearing me and my voice would only come out in a soft, inaudible whisper.

I woke covered in sweat. My skin was on fire and my throat so raw and dry it hurt to swallow. I had no recollection of my dream as I sat upright, squinting at the sun. It seemed so bright streaming through the windows. I kicked the covers off and flushed with shame when I realized I wasn't wearing anything. I wrestled one of the sheets from the bed and wrapped it around and around myself before making my way to the windows one by one and drawing their blinds half-closed.

Once I finished, I made my way towards the bedroom door. As I stumbled across the room, I began to shiver and shake. I tried the handle only to find it locked from the outside.

"Damn it!" I cursed then tried each of the other doors in turn. The first two led to what I guessed were his and her walk-in closets. Only one appeared to be in use. My eyes wandered over the clothing and I decided to drop my sheet in favor of a crisp linen shirt that fell to the middle of my thighs. With trembling fingertips I buttoned it up.

Suddenly I recalled what happened to my dress. My head filled with regret and my heart broke when I remembered what I had done and with whom I had done it. I choked back the tears that swelled in my eyes then hurried to test the other doors. It was a huge relief when I found the bathroom and was finally able to soothe my throat with some water from the tap.

There didn't seem to be any other way out than the locked door at the far end of the bedroom. I shook the handle again just to be sure but it was no use. I grew a little frantic and started rummaging through the closets and drawers looking for something, anything I might use to get myself out only to come up empty handed.

It frustrated and wearied me. I flopped down on the edge of the bed and buried my face in my hands, "Oh, God, how could I have done this? How have I gotten here?"

I started shivering again. My skin felt hot to the touch and I needed to rush to the bathroom to take another drink from the faucet. Though my throat wasn't quite so sore the water didn't help cool me down. I decided to make use of the shower while I tried to remember what Victor's apartment looked like and where I would need to go if I managed to escape the bedroom. I stood under the flow of the placidly cold water for as long as I could stand it then gave myself a quick lather. When I finished I stepped out and draped the linen shirt over my shoulders before making my way to the bedroom.

The room had grown somewhat darker and I knew the sun would be setting soon. My heart started to race as I contemplated Victor's return and how or what I could do to get away from him.

"The elevator! That was how we got here. Oh, no!" I thought suddenly realizing it was likely the only way in or out of the apartment. It seemed very improbable that I would be able to get by Victor, call the car and escape; he was stronger, faster and had such a vicious nature!

Disheartened, I lay down, curled myself into a ball and rested my head against the pillow sobbing. I hated myself for feeling so weak and so helpless but a moment later my stomach gave a violent heave. It didn't feel like I was going to be sick but instead as if I was terribly excited and filled with anticipation. I wiped my tears away and smoothed my hair, conscious and fearful of how I looked just then. I perched on the edge of the bed holding my breath and waiting. There was a little pop as Victor unlocked the door and swung it open.

All my regrets faded away.

"Oh, Victor, I've missed you," I rushed from the bed and wrapped my arms around him. "Please," I begged.

He understood, without any explanation, what I was asking. He bit his lip bringing several drops of blood to their surface. I eagerly covered him with kisses, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Victor. It's my fault...it's my fault," I confessed as I coiled myself around him.

"No, love, no. Don't be sorry," he reached for my wrist and latched on. He took a tiny draught then smoothed it over and kissed the little wound he had made while I watched it disappear.

I gasped, completely insensible of anything but how wonderful he tasted and how sensual his lips on my wrist felt. "It will be better this time," I seized his hand and tugged him towards the bed.

"There's no time for that," he reprimanded.

"Oh, but there is," I reached down to be sure he was ready.

I bent my head back exposing the soft flesh of my neck, "I need you, Victor," I insisted.

He took another delicate nip and all his resolve evaporated. He backed me toward the bed and after he sat me down slowly undid the shirt I was wearing. His fingers traced my lips and ran down my neck and along the opening he had created. I smiled joyously and arched myself into his touch.

This time he was slow and controlled and passionate, everything I wanted him to be. Victor seemed to be completely intuitive and fulfilled every desire as they surfaced one after another. When I finally shuddered against him all my earlier discomfort faded; my trembling, my shivering, the fire in my flesh – it all vanished and I felt completely at ease; peaceful and satisfied as he stroked my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Lily," he sighed.

"Mmm," I stretched out alongside him, "I love you, Victor. I love you so much."

He nipped his finger and smiling put it to my lips, "And I love you, Lily."

## Chapter 22

"Here," Victor sat up and held his hand out, "I need you to get ready. We have to leave as soon as we can."

"Oh, but why? Why do we have to leave? It is lovely here," I ran my fingers over the bedspread. "I want to stay here with you," I pouted like a petulant child.

I saw a flash of anger in his eyes but Victor seemed determined to be on his best behavior. He took a deep breath to calm himself then tugged me to sitting and glided me to the edge of the bed. "We will come back, love but I want to take you somewhere, somewhere special first," he bent down and kissed me before turning on his heel and leaving the room. He returned a moment later with several shopping bags. He dumped them onto the bed and sifted through them, "This... this looks nice. Put it on."

Reluctantly, I stood up and did as he asked. I pulled the dress he selected over my head and spun myself away from him so Victor could zip me up. He kissed my neck when he finished, "Thank you," he whispered. There was something in his voice that made me realize how uptight he was and that he was eager to keep it from me.

"What is it, Victor? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, of course," he assured me. "I just don't want us to be late."

"Late? Late for what?"

"Uh, uh, ah, it's a surprise," he smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist. He ushered me out of the room and down the hallway into the elevator.

As we rode the car to the ground floor, he encouraged me to take another hurried drop from his wrist. When we reached the lobby Victor quickly took my face in his hands and kissed me before the doors glided back. I shook my head in confusion and obediently trailed behind him as he grasped my hand and led me outside. It was dark and sultry but the air seemed cool and crisp to me and it gave me a little chill.

Victor grinned and I couldn't help thinking he seemed pleased with my reaction to the night air. He handed me into the car and settled in beside me. He drove us to the airport and once we arrived headed straight for the tarmac. A charter plane stood on the runway and was apparently there for us, waiting to take off.

I wasn't sure whether I had ever been on a plane and the idea filled me with dismay, "Oh, Victor, I don't know if I can do this! You didn't tell me we were travelling," I was suddenly lucid enough to protest against whatever he was planning. "Where are we going?" I asked, full of wonder and fear.

Victor took me in his arms, "I told you, love, it's a surprise and this is the only way I can take you there. It's very far and there's not enough time to travel any other way. We have to go. We have to go now," he insisted.

I looked up into his eyes and they seemed lost for a moment, as if they was looking far beyond anything I could see. He turned his gaze back to me and smiled encouragingly, "Here," he nibbled my lip and made a little gnash on his tongue. When his mouth covered mine, I tasted both our blood mingling together like some intimate potion and it softened my resolve.

I started up the stairs towards the cabin. As I neared the last two steps my stomach gave a terrible lurch and I nearly lost my insides. My body froze in place and the air felt like it was being forcibly squeezed from my lungs. It seemed like something had a desperate hold on me from the inside out and it refused to let me take another step. Beads of sweat gathered on my brow while I swayed back and forth dazedly. As I stood there weak and confused my arms and legs began to tremble again.

Victor glanced over his shoulder and swept me from the back of my knees up into his arms. He kicked the stairs away and placed me in one of the passenger's seats before hurrying to close and lock the door. He called to the pilot, "Now! Take off now, damn it!"

We lumbered down the runway at an all too sluggish rate and Victor screamed to the pilot again, "Can't you go any faster?!"

The pilot didn't answer but there was a decided improvement in our pace as the plane gained momentum. When he finally started urging us into the air, I heard what sounded like a horrible collision come from the belly of the plane. A moment later, though, all was quiet and we took to the sky.

My heartbeat slowed, my breathing eased, the tightness in my belly dissolved. I closed my eyes and sank into the seat. Victor put his ear to the floor and listened intently for a minute or two. When he satisfied himself with whatever he did or did not hear he took the seat beside me.

"My but he is persistent, isn't he?" he mumbled.

I shook my head, "What's that, Victor? Did you say something?"

"No, sweetness, nothing at all. Come sit with me," he patted his thighs. "I want to feel you close."

I slid from my seat and let him help me onto his lap. As I twisted sideways and tucked my legs over his I leaned my head against his shoulder while he stroked my hair. I didn't know why but I started to cry. I tried blinking back the tears but they were determined to escape.

"Ssh, love, ssh. You're safe now. We're together and after tonight we will be together forever."

"Yes, Victor. Yes," I sobbed, "that is what I want... what I have always wanted." I kissed his ear and the back of his neck and ran my lips over his, "Please," I muttered against his mouth, "please," I begged.

"You can't, it's too soon."

"Just a taste," I began unbuttoning his shirt, "I can't wait any longer."

"You must," he grasped my wrists and pulled them away from his chest.

"Then you must give me something else while I wait," I took his face in my hands and fervently kissed him.

His smile curled up against my lips, "As you wish," he whispered and whirled me around so I was straddling him. He hiked up my dress and eased himself into me.

"Ooh," I fell against him, "yes, yes, this will do...for now."

Afterwards I fell asleep in his lap and rested until hours later when he kissed me awake, "We're here, love," he nibbled my ear.

I sighed and stretched and another chill rippled through me, "Have we landed?"

"Yes," he touched his lips to mine, "are you ready?"

"I would say yes but I don't have any idea what I would be agreeing to," I teased as I stood up and smoothed the folds from my dress.

"Does it matter," He held his arm out for me and ran his fingernail across it opening a little nick for me.

For a split second I resisted but it mesmerized me as I watched the blood trickle around his wrist and despite my reservations I seized him. When I pulled back, I sensed the icy heat from him spreading throughout me, "No, Victor, it doesn't matter. As long as we are together nothing matters."

There was a car waiting for us when we exited the plane. It was raining and when we got to the bottom of the stairs, the driver handed an umbrella to Victor and escorted us across the tarmac. As he took the wheel, he met Victor's gaze in the rearview mirror, "You're late," he stated.

"We are not late," Victor ground the words out.

"No sir, of course not," he corrected, "your flight arrived later than I expected."

"It is unfortunate but yes, it did."

"We might not be able to follow your itinerary as precisely as you requested."

"Again, unfortunate," Victor waved his hand dismissively. "Let's just do what we can, shall we?"

"Yes, sir," the driver nodded.

I clung to Victor throughout the ride. A half hour later the driver made his first stop. We were in a parking garage and when he helped us out, I realized it was at the entrance to a multi-level mall.

"Are we shopping Victor? Why are we here?"

"No not shopping. We're just going on a little trip down memory lane. I need you to understand. I need you to remember who I am and why we need to be together," he kissed my forehead and gathered my hand in his. "Don't go far," he called to the driver over his shoulder, "we'll be back shortly."

The doors slid back and we walked through one or two wings of the mall. Just as the arboretum came into view Victor stopped me and gave me a sly look. He pressed his lips hard against mine and the familiar flavor of his blood drifted from his mouth to mine.

"So soon?" I eyed him surprised by his little gift.

He just smiled and motioned me to resume our walk. I heard cascades of water to the left of where we stood and as I turned towards the sound, I caught sight of an intricate stonewalled fountain.

"Oh," I gasped.

"Yes," he stood behind me, his lips against my ear, "this is where we first met. Let me help you remember," he discreetly kissed me again.

I pictured myself as a young girl approaching him as he sat on the ledge of the fountain, "It was you," I breathed. There was something odd about the memory but I couldn't put a finger on it and pushed the thought aside.

"Yes, love, it was me. I called you and you came to me. You scared your mother and she raced out to find you here, with me."

I started to cry; it was all right before me. "Yes, yes, Victor and I thought about you for the rest of the day and wondered if I would ever see you again."

He kissed the back of my head, "There's more," he said and led me back the way we came.

It thrilled and excited me to remember; to be able to recall the moment we met after so many years. My head and my heart were full of joy as I pictured him sitting on the ledge and smiling at me. We exited the mall where we had come in and when the driver spied us he hurried from his parking space and picked us up at the doorway.

Once we settled into the back seat, I leaned over and kissed Victor's cheek, "Thank you, Victor. Thank you for taking me here and showing me this."

He smoothed a length of my hair between his fingers, "I would do anything for you, love. You know that."

I tucked my arm in his and snuggled against his shoulder.

The driver pulled from the garage and drove us a short distance to a little community of condominiums. There were townhouses to the right and condominiums off to the left. Victor told the driver to pull around to the back and though it was still raining, he refused the umbrella. He told the driver to come back in 5 minutes and not a moment before.

We hopped out of the car and Victor wrapped my arms around his neck. "Hold tight," he said and he began scaling the building; climbing from balcony to balcony until we reached the roof.

"Here we are," he spun me around and around in the rain.

I shook my head laughing, "I'm sorry Victor. This is not at all familiar to me."

"You just need a little help," he offered me his wrist and in my eagerness to recall why he had brought me there I latched on.

"The shower! Oh, yes, the meteor shower! It was exactly one year later... our anniversary you called it!" I threw my arms around him, "Oh, Victor, how have I forgotten so much."

He gave a little chuckle and swept me off my feet. He ran to the corner of the roof and as he cradled me close, leapt off. It was an incredible thrill and when we landed my heart pounded and I gasped for breath. A moment later the driver pulled around and I did everything I could to recover myself before sliding into the back of the car with Victor close on my heels.

I was giddy, beaming from head to toe and couldn't wait to see what Victor had in store for us next. I carelessly wrung my hair out and apologized to the driver for my thoughtlessness.

"It's quite alright," he assured me as he smiled back at me in the mirror.

Victor leaned forward and hissed something completely inaudible to me but quite clear to the driver. He looked nervously back and nodded his understanding. It was strange to witness his exuberance suddenly fade into fear. I pretended not to have noticed and turned my head towards the window. It must have been close to midnight by then and as I watched the rain streaming down the glass, I realized we were pulling onto the highway.

"Are we going into the city?"

"Yes, for a bit."

I decided not to press him knowing I would see for myself, soon enough, whatever Victor wanted to show me next. He sat quiet and subdued during the ride and every time I spoke hoping to engage him Victor gave me a weak smile. I held his hand and ran my thumb back and forth across his wrist.

He seemed to relax and sank into the seat, "Mmm, that's nice."

As his expression softened a shred of memory rippled across my mind. I pictured myself in a darkened room somewhere walking towards a man sprawled across massive bed covered in heavy linens. As I got closer, the man's features became more and more distinct. At first I thought it was Victor but when I reached out to touch the man's cheek he turned into my touch and smiled. Though he looked so very much like Victor, I knew it wasn't him. It was... someone else; someone important to me. My heart seemed to stop for a moment.

"Where have you gone off to?" Victor violently clutched my hand and his eyes demanded an answer.

I shook the memory away, "I...I was just wondering what you have planned next," I stuttered.

"You lie!"

"No, Victor. I would never lie to you," I insisted. I gave my hand a rough shake to let him know he was hurting me.

The driver cleared his throat concernedly.

"Drive, idiot. This doesn't concern you."

"Please, Victor," I sidled up to him and kissed his neck. "I have loved every moment of tonight, don't spoil it now." I let my hand wander along his thigh and sensed some of his irritation slipping away.

"Pull over," he commanded the driver.

The driver eased us off the highway, onto the shoulder and put the car in park.

"Get out."

The driver looked unsure but I nodded to him and told him we just needed a moment. As soon as he closed the door Victor threw himself on me. He shoved my dress up above my waist and ran his tongue along the inner edge of my thigh. I could barely stand the teasing sensuousness and his determination made me moan out loud. He pierced the soft flesh above my knee and I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. Victor took a fierce pull and I watched him swallow before I eagerly lunged for him and urged him to take me.

The world fell away and there was only the terrible need to feel him over and over again but something else was happening, too. That strange, little tendril inside me was searching and reaching out for him but it got lost in the ecstasy of the moment and it couldn't find him. Victor seemed to sense it, too, but it was already too late as we heaved against one another.

He held me close, "Oh, Lily," he kissed my hair and caressed my back. "I felt it," he whispered and moments later, "we were meant to be."

I suspected he was crying but when I pulled away to see whether I was right, he held me tighter. "Yes Victor, yes, we were," I whispered into his temple hoping to comfort him.

After we composed ourselves Victor rolled the window down and let the driver know we were ready for him to return. He drove us to a magnificent theater and again Victor sent him on his way with instructions to return a certain number of minutes later.

"It's closed, Victor," I stated as he led me towards the back door of the building.

"Not for us, love."

He wrapped his fingers around the handle, closed his eyes and leaned his head back concentrating. Victor gave the handle a meaningful turn and pushed the door open, "After you," he bowed.

I smiled and stepped through.

He led me through the backstage area, past the dressing rooms and onto the stage. From there we took the short flight of stairs towards the pit area where the orchestra would set-up and out beyond the first of the many rows of seats. We came to a stairway that led to the upper levels of the audience chamber. Victor hurried me up the flight and down a short tier of steps before showing me into the first of the theater boxes.

"Do you remember being here? Do you remember what we saw?"

I shook my head, "No wait, maybe," I paused as I tried to recall.

He had me take one of the seats, "You were sitting right here and I was there, behind you."

I couldn't remember.

Victor looked thoughtfully at his watch, "It's too soon," he mumbled, "but we can't wait. There isn't much time," he took a deep breath and nipped his finger, "just a drop, no more," he said firmly.

It all flashed through my mind, "The Nutcracker," I whispered, "I had a fever, we left early. You were with someone, she was mean to me..." my eyes filled with fear, "you... you killed her!" I accused.

"You weren't supposed to see that," he clenched his hands, "but yes, I did. She hurt you and I lost control because you wouldn't answer me. I needed you but you weren't there, you wouldn't help me."

It became clearer as he spoke and again there was a twinge of wrongness with the way the memory unfolded. It seemed important but I couldn't figure it out or detect specifically why it seemed so imprecise to me.

"We went home and I fell asleep and when I woke up, you were gone. I couldn't reach you. You left me and I tried so hard to tell you I was sorry and to please, please come back." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Somehow... somehow I forced you to come back and you did and we were always together then."

"Yes, yes," Victor sounded relieved.

I threw myself around him, "I'm so sorry, Victor. I am so, so sorry for everything that happened that night. If I had only known. I didn't realize what I was doing or how much I had hurt you," I caressed his face and stood on my tiptoes and kissed his temple.

He smiled down at me, "It doesn't matter anymore."

"No, of course not, because it will never be that way again! Not now, not as long as we are together."

Victor wrapped his arm around my waist and ushered me back the way we had come. "We're running out of time and I still have more I want to show you."

"It's alright, Victor, we can do more tomorrow if we need to."

"No, no, it must be tonight. I cannot ris... It's impossible for me to wait another day. I want you too much to try to bear it."

My eyes shimmered and I smiled and blushed.

"You're so beautiful," he turned and faced me. "Every moment you grow more and more beautiful," he laid his palm against my cheek and gave me the barest of kisses. "Every time I touch your lips I want to take you," he said and sighed, "Let's hurry."

It was fortunate the rain had let up by the time we were outside because when we got to the front of the Arts Center the driver wasn't there. We had to wait several minutes for him to come around.

"Damn it," Victor cursed with every passing second.

When he finally pulled into view Victor yanked the door open and motioned me inside, "Where were you? We've been waiting!"

"Sorry, sir. The police came by and told me I was in a no parking zone and asked me to move. This is a one-way street and it took me a minute to get my bearings and find my way back."

"Idiot," Victor slapped the back of his head.

I grabbed his arm, "Victor, calm yourself!" I frowned at him.

He shook his head, "Yes, yes, I'm sorry. My apologies," he leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I'll behave," he promised, "if you'll forgive me, too."

"I will if you show me you are sincere," I stretched my legs out across the seat and tucked my feet onto Victor's lap. He grinned and slipped one shoe off then the other. He softly stroked the bottom of each foot as I leaned back and closed my eyes.

About a half an hour later Victor nudged me, "You've fallen asleep, love. Stay with me, only one more stop after this."

I blinked and rubbed my eyes, "Where are we?"

"Home," he sighed. "Yours and mine, or at least it was once. I lived here when I was a boy and many years later, not long after the ballet, you did, too."

I looked puzzled when he told me this.

"My family and I lived here until I was about 17 years old. Something... unfortunate happened and they all moved away."

It seemed odd that he said they and not we, "Did you not go with your family, Victor?"

"No, but that doesn't matter."

It did to me and I tucked the thought aside so I could consider it later.

"Years later I bought the house from the people my family sold it to and sentimentally held onto it. When I met you, you were living in the condominiums we visited earlier and I thought you deserved better. I helped your father get a promotion and through various means convinced your parents to buy it from me."

Victor helped me from the car and led me up the driveway. When we were out of the driver's view Victor brought his nail across his palm and held it to my lips, "See," he whispered. "Remember."

We walked around to the backyard and I immediately saw and remembered the swing set tucked into the corner. I wondered if the flower bed was still there and whether anything still grew in it or if time and neglect had taken its toll. It made me happy to see that the lilies still blossomed even though their only companions were weeds and wild grasses.

Victor took my shoulders and turned me towards the back of the house. He pointed to a little balcony poking from the side and Victor scooped me up then leapt onto the landing. The doors were stiff from years of disuse and he had to wrestle them open. Once he did, he motioned me through while he found the light switch and gave it a flick.

The room, though covered in cobwebs and dust, was just as I remembered. My bed was there, my dresser, my bookshelf. I looked all around before heading to the closet. I dusted the top of a long-forgotten box and opened it up. It contained dozens of knick-knacks; dried flowers, coins from the far corners of the world, an old jar with some sort of netting. I noticed the netting had little bulbs attached to it at random intervals and remembered what it was.

"The fireflies," I whispered in awe.

Victor stood over me smiling.

"You gave me these...all of these," I waved my hand over the box.

"Yes, love, I did," he nodded.

There was a loud bang as he said it and I fearfully jumped to my feet, "What was that?" I looked to Victor for reassurance.

"I'm sure it was nothing. We left the door open and the wind must have blown it closed."

## Chapter 23

Victor took me by the shoulders, "Wait here. I'll go see."

I nodded then Victor kissed my cheek and cautiously exited the closet. While I stood frozen in place, my ears strained and the moments ticked by. It was oddly quiet.

"Lily," Victor called. The wretched tightness in my chest seized me again as I stepped from the closet.

Victor was standing in the center of the room. He had Michael pinned against him. One arm was holding both of Michael's behind his back, the other hand clenched his hair and strained his head at a vicious angle to the side.

"Elayna," Michael gasped. "What have you done to her?" he thrashed about hoping to free himself.

"Nothing she didn't ask for; nothing she didn't beg for," Victor chuckled.

"It's not too late, Elayna! Whatever he's done to you, it's not too late!"

"He hasn't done anything to me, Michael. He's helped me remember and we've been through so much together. Victor and I, we were meant to be."

"No, no! It wasn't Victor...he's lying to you, he's...he's changed your memories," I sensed Michael examining my mind somehow and I couldn't keep him out.

"Stop! Oh, please stop!" I covered my face with my hands.

"No, Elayna. Look. Look closely!" Michael insisted.

As Michael brought the memories Victor convinced me to believe to the surface of my mind I sensed that odd impression again that they weren't quite right. My lips trembled as I looked from one to the other, "I.. I.. but," I didn't know what I wanted to say but suddenly I realized why they were wrong. I wasn't seeing the memories as if I had seen them through my own eyes like I should have. It was as though I was just an observer, witnessing things from a third person's point of view rather than actually being a part of them.

Michael's temples throbbed and his jaw clenched as he concentrated , "Turn around, Elayna. Take the stairs and leave with the driver."

"Yes," my eyes went wide and I moved to follow Michael's instructions. Victor shook his head. I stopped. "No, not without Victor. We belong together."

Michael tried again and for a second I noticed a brief uncoiling inside me, some ghostly part of myself unwinding and making its way towards Michael... or was it Victor? I turned and started for the door.

"Lily."

"Yes, Victor?"

"Stay with me."

"I will never leave you," I turned around and waited.

Victor smiled triumphantly, "That's right," he gloated. I watched as he put his lips against Michael's neck and whispered, "It's too late. She knows, Michael. I'm in her blood and her blood knows! She belongs with me."

Victor made a little prick in Michael's neck and motioned me closer. The tiny drops dazzled me just like Victor's had and I put my mouth over the small wound. Michael tried pulling away but Victor held him still. I gave a little suck with lips and my tongue and held Michael's blood in my mouth. I turned and faced Victor then laid my lips over his and shared the savory indulgence with him.

"NO!" Michael's voice boomed and somehow he struggled free. He flung Victor across the room and I fell dazed to the floor while they fought against one another.

Everything happened so fast! It was impossible to follow or focus on them as they knocked one another from one end of the room to the other. Things crashed and broke all around me. I cowered desperate to avoid getting hit by either the debris or Michael or Victor. The closet door was still open and I scrambled toward it. I was about to crawl in when I stole a glance over my shoulder and saw the two of them with their hands on each other's throats hurtling through the bedroom door and out into the hallway.

I braced myself against the threshold and pulled myself up as I heard them tumble down the stairs. My heart cried out for both of them as I ran to the top of the stairs. I raced after them but in my haste, I slipped midway down the stairs. I couldn't catch myself before I hit the foyer. My head struck the tile just hard enough to daze me and it did something else, too.

Suddenly everything became clear to me and I knew it all from beginning to end. I remembered who Michael was, who Victor was. I knew who I was and everything that had happened and had gotten us all to that moment. There were so many good and happy memories with Michael but overshadowing it all was death. So much death – my mother, my father, Kaley, Brenda, all of Victor's and Michael's innocent victims.

I heard glasses breaking and realized they were in the kitchen. I had to stop them; I couldn't live with any more death. As I came into the dining room, I saw through the short passage between the two rooms. Michael had Victor bent over the kitchen island with a knife poised ready to make a strike through his heart. Something moved slowly from behind them.

"Charlie?" I couldn't imagine where he had come from or how he had gotten there. At the moment I couldn't let it matter.

He didn't see me. I watched him raise his arm and realized he was holding something.

"A gun?" I wondered.

He was going to shoot them.

"No!" I screamed and ran into the kitchen placing myself in the path of Charlie's gun shielding both Michael and Victor. I wasn't sure who I was more determined to save but I couldn't let Charlie kill either of them. He didn't see me in time; his finger flexed and he pulled the trigger.

A blinding heat pierce my chest as the flare erupted from the gun and I plummeted to the floor at Michael's and Victor's feet. Michael dropped beside me while Victor seized Charlie and savagely latched onto his neck.

"Please... please don't," my voice barely escaping. Somehow Victor heard me and it managed to corral him. He released his hold on Charlie who fell to the floor in a heap.

Michael cradled me and rocked back and forth with tears streaming down his face. Victor stood behind him sobbing and shaking.

"What have I done?" Victor surveyed the damage to my chest and sank to his knees screaming in anguish.

It was leaving me, the strange part of me that had kept me bound to Michael nearly all my life. But it wasn't going to Michael, or to Victor; just away. I gave a weak smile first to one then the other of them.

"No, no, NO!" Victor shouted. "It's not too late, Michael, we can save her. You can save her. You MUST save her!" His voice rang out full of urgency.

Michael shook his head, "I can't. You know what it would mean. You know I can't do that to her! I love her too much!"

"And that is why you must. She has never had a chance to love you the way you have loved her. Don't let her go, Michael. There's no other way, you don't deserve to lose her and she doesn't deserve to die, not like this." Victor gazed down at his brother. He looked thoughtful, peaceful and determined. He opened his wrist held his arm out to Michael, "I've seen what she's done for you. I took her to hurt you but more than that, Michael, I was hoping... hoping she would be able to do the same for me. I can't...I won't live like this anymore," Victor motioned to havoc they had created.

"Maybe she already has helped you then," Michael whispered.

Victor grinned, pleased with the thought, "Use me. Use me to bring her back. I won't fight you. It's the only way, Michael."

Michael shook his head no but took Victor's arm anyway and closed his eyes. Victor grew weaker and weaker and gradually slumped over as Michael gathered more and more from him.

"That's enough, Michael. Now Elayna."

Slowly, hesitantly and with great sorrow Michael lifted my head into his lap. He made a hasty incision on his wrist and held it to my mouth. The seconds ticked by; a minute, two minutes passed. My heart stuttered and gave a tremendous heave. Again and again my heart beat, my chest expanded, I filled my lungs with air.

"Elayna?"

I couldn't speak his voice overwhelmed me.

"Elayna?" he called soft and melodious. It was the sweetest sound I had ever heard.

I looked up and timidly smiled into his eyes. "I love you," I whispered.

Michael's lips trembled into a smile. I could see him clearly, the joy, the relief, the adoration in his eyes. I turned and there was Charlie unconscious on the floor and Victor with his back toward us, unable to look our way. "There's not much time, Michael. Help Elayna outside. I'll get Charlie."

My skin felt like it was crawling with gooseflesh. It rippled from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Michael urged me to my feet and led me out the back door. Victor followed right behind us carrying Charlie. He smoothed over Charlie's punctures and when Charlie started to come to Victor placed his hands one on each side of his forehead.

I recognized what he was doing and watched in wonder as Charlie took one last glance towards me and Michael, closed his eyes and slipped from consciousness.

"He won't remember a thing," Victor assured us. "Get him to the car and have the driver take him to a hotel. Our friend has had a bit too much to drink," he suggested and grinned mournfully.

"Thank you, Victor," Michael held his hand out to him.

They shook and Victor turned and began walking towards the house, "Wait!" I called and ran after him. "What are you doing?"

He took my face in his hands and kissed me one last time, "Thank you Lil...Elayna. Thank you for... for... helping me."

He turned and left me standing there while he made his way back into the house. Michael came and stood behind me as I stared after Victor. We peered into the darkened windows and after several minutes there was a bright flash that seemed to spread from room to room. It grew into a steady glow before blossoming into a roaring blaze. Soon the whole house became consumed and it was impossible to watch.

Michael gathered Charlie and hurried down the driveway and tucked him into the waiting car. Michael convinced the driver what happened and sent them on their way.

As they pulled from the curb Michael turned and looked at me. "We need to hurry," he suddenly seemed alarmed and grasped my hand as he dragged me away from the road.

"What is it, Michael?"

He didn't answer. Instead and without any warning, he tossed me over his shoulder.

I tried asking again but I couldn't breathe, I couldn't make my chest expand and fill my lungs with air. Then I realized that I didn't feel my heart beating anymore and I started to panic. I struggled to get Michael's attention but he ran into the woods surrounding the backyard utterly determined. The world became intensely bright and the light seemed laser hot. I desperately wanted to get away from it but there was nowhere to go.

Michael raced up to the porch of the first home we came to. It looked familiar for some reason but there was no time to consider why as my skin started to blister and sizzle wherever the light touched it. I clenched my eyes closed and grew completely senseless of anything but the pain coursing over my flesh. I cried out in agony.

"Oh, no! No!" Michael stumbled as he burst through the front door into the foyer. He made a dash towards the back of the house into a hallway that led off to the left. There was a light switch at the end of the passage. He pulled the panel off the switch and pushed a button concealed underneath. A hidden door sprung open and he ducked low enough so he wouldn't strike his head and carefully stepped through. He kicked the door closed and the searing pain blissfully evaporated.

Shortly after the door swung shut, my mind shut down and my body settled into a state of torpor. Michael arranged me on a shelf-like bed fastened to the wall on one side of the room. He lifted my arm and ran his fingers over my skin to see if there were any blisters or welts. He nipped his fingertip whenever he found a flaw and gently rubbed a drop or two into the wound. When he finished with one arm, he repeated the process on the other and inspected the rest of my body and face as well.

"I'm so sorry I forgot, Elayna," he whispered into my hair and kissed my forehead while I rested. He drew a nearby chair to where I lay and curled his arm around mine then put his head down and closed his eyes.

## Chapter 24

When I woke the first thing I saw was Michael standing in the corner facing the opposite wall.

He glanced over, "Finally," he smiled and took a step towards me. I sat up, stretched and welcomed his arms as he swept me off the bed.

"Where are we?" I studied the room.

He put me down, "Somewhere safe. Close to your old home. I used to stay here whenever I wanted to be close to you."

The memories of the previous night slowly came back to me. Michael saw the expressions slipping across my face as I wondered about everything that had happened.

"Oh, Michael!" Tears of shame and sorrow for everything I'd done welled in my eyes.

He took my hand and whispered against my temple, "Ssh, no, Elayna. You can't let yourself take the blame for all of this. We've all played our parts," he insisted as he kissed my tears away.

"But I've made so many mistakes," I shook my head sorrowfully. "If you only knew! How can you ever forgive me?"

"How can I not, Elayna? After all you've given me, after all we've been through."

I took a deep breath. There was so much I wanted to say.

Michael pursed his lips and took my hand, "Come," he said. "Let's not talk here."

He opened the shallow door and helped me into the hallway. I glanced back, curiously.

"Panic room," Michael answered my questioning eyes. "I modified it years ago, when I bought the house."

"You own this house?"

Michael chuckled, "I do. I bought it after your parents bought the one next door."

"Victor, he told me... oh, but that was you, then. You owned it and you sold it to my parents. I never knew. Did they know?"

"No. I never told them. They wouldn't have bought it if I had. I wanted you to have a good life, Elayna and to make sure you were happy. I listed it as a foreclosure, well below its value and instructed the agent not to sell it to anyone else, under any circumstances."

"And afterwards you bought this so we would be neighbors?"

"Not right away but yes. When this house came on the market, I bought it so I could be near you and watch over you and your family."

"There's so much you've kept from me," I shook my head wonderingly.

"I had to, Elayna. I needed to keep you safe. You've always been so special to me. I never wanted this life for you. In my heart I always hoped we would be together, at least for a little while or I would find a way other than this. I'm so sorry for what I've done to you... you must be... disappointed."

Michael brought me to the living room and after I sat down, he settled himself beside me. He took my legs and tucked them over his, turning me sideways so I was looking at him while we spoke.

"I am disappointed, Michael," I sighed, knowing it would take a very long time to reconcile myself to what I'd become. I also knew I would have given up much more, so much more to be with Michael. "It's not what I would have wanted or what I ever thought would happen but, Michael, the best moments of my life were the moments I spent with you. All I ever wanted was to share my life with you. I'm scared, terrified, but I'm so happy we can finally be together. I have always loved you."

Michael smiled weakly, "I'll take care of you, teach you everything I've learned. It will never be for you the way it was for me. You and I, we... we have nothing to be afraid of anymore."

I kissed him and for a moment I sensed that he was wondering about Charlie and the life we shared together. "I loved him, too," I said, "but it was...different. After..." there didn't seem to be any delicate way to say it, "you left me I needed someone, something to hold onto. I thought you were gone, that there was nothing left for me. I lost you and thought I had lost you forever. My mind was a shattered mess and my heart broken and I didn't understand why. Charlie, somehow he put me back together, held me together. I loved him for that."

Michael seemed to reflect on what I said.

"Why was Charlie here, anyway?"

"I brought him with me, just in case. You were as afraid of me as you were of Victor the night he took you from Margaret's. I wasn't sure you would come with me if I got you away from him but I hoped you might go with Charlie. I left him here while I went to find you but he must have followed me."

"And he was with you when you confronted Victor at Margaret's, too," I frowned. It didn't make any sense.

"Charlie found Victor's card in your shop the other night and when he realized who you were catering desserts for he knew you were in trouble. He came straight to me and it wasn't too hard to imagine what Victor's intentions were. Victor must have been watching you and waiting for the perfect moment. He would have been systematic about it and considered everything you did, everywhere you went and everyone you knew. Once he knew the basics, it would have been easy for him to guess the rest."

"It must have been maddening when Victor finally learned the truth about who you were and where you'd been all these years. I'm sure that's why he brought you to Margaret's; it was the best way to guarantee we would all be together when he finally took advantage of his opportunity. He would have thought it a fantastic triumph to make such a show of his vengeance. Victor wanted us to suffer and the best way to ensure that happened would be to make us watch the people we love suffer."

"Why didn't he just kill us all then?"

Michael cocked his head and his lips twitched into a slight smile, "Maybe he couldn't... maybe for the same reason I couldn't..."

Michael was referring to the night we met; when he came into my room with every evil intention but left full of hope.

He still hadn't explained why Charlie had gone to him in the first place, though. I wondered how they knew each other and opened my mouth to ask but he carefully avoided my questioning eyes.

"You can't imagine what it did to me that night when you left with Victor."

"Oh, Michael..."

"That's not what I meant. It's just, when Victor took you... Oh, God! I looked everywhere for you; it was nearly morning and I knew he couldn't have taken you far. You and I, though, we had been apart for so long. It just wasn't as easy as it used to be. I thought maybe it was too late, that he... By the time I found you, you and Victor were on your way to the airport. I didn't get there in time but I saw where the pilot intended to take you. I called Charlie and we got on the first flight out. After we landed we came here to make our plans. I didn't guess the full truth of what Victor was up to. It was just luck that Victor brought you there when we were already here."

"Do you know where Charlie is now? Is he alright?"

"No, I don't, Elayna. I went to the hotel we sent him to and tried finding him but he had already checked out. He must have gone home," Michael pursed his lips. "I think he remembers; I think he remembers everything. "Victor," I saw a flash of pain and sorrow in Michael's eyes and reached out to take his hand. "Victor must not have been strong enough to make him forget."

"We have to find him, Michael. We need to make him understand. I have to apologize."

Michael shook his head. Again, I felt like there was something he wanted to tell me, to confess but he still hadn't found the words. "You can't leave, not right away. You'll need to rest during the daytime and this is the safest place for that right now."

"Oh, God! Yes, this morning. I remember I couldn't breathe and the world looked on fire," I frowned, "but you were fine. Why is it different for you than it is for me?"

"From what I've learned it's just not the same for everyone. The others I've met have all had different abilities and sometimes the ones we had in common weren't as weak or strong. When Victor first did this to me it was the same way for me as it was for you this morning. Over time, the sunlight has bothered me less and less. It's uncomfortable if it's direct or I'm in it for too long but I don't believe it's deadly anymore."

"Hmm," I sighed. "Since I can't go to Charlie, do you think it would be possible to find him and bring him here?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

Michael hesitated several moments before he answered, "Elayna, I did something. At the time I thought it was for the best but now I realize I may have been wrong."

"Oh?" I tentatively asked.

"You know Charlie has always loved you, right?"

"Yes, Michael, I know. I've always known how Charlie felt about me."

"Well," Michael took a deep breath, "I knew it, too. The night I met him I asked him to take care of you. I promised him that if he loved you, if he could make you happy that I would let you go; that I would never interfere with you or your life again."

"But Michael, how could you..."

"And I made him promise that if I let you go, he would share his memories with me; the ones of you, the ones I wanted to but would no longer be a part of."

"Michael!" I covered my mouth. Suddenly, I remembered the strange dream I had after the formal; chasing after the thread, following it to Michael and ultimately having it ripped away from me. He tried to convince me to forget him, to forget myself and live my life as Lily hoping it would keep me safe from Victor. When I refused... "Oh," I sobbed at the memory and glanced up at Michael.

His eyes were pools of regret, "I will never forgive myself for hurting you the night of the formal. When I realized what I had done, what I tried to do... I knew I had to let you go. I leapt out the window determined to get as far away from you as possible but when I looked up, there he was. Charlie! He followed you home after I left you at the restaurant to make sure you were alright. It was such a surreal moment! He immediately recognized me for what I was. He could see it! Charlie just stood there full of disbelief but completely without fear! I couldn't hide it from him; not any better than he could hide the fact he loved you. My first thought was to kill him. Not because he knew but because that was the moment I realized I would never be able to give you the kind of life that he could."

"Michael," I whispered.

Michael buried his face in his hands. "There was no way for me to deny what he saw, so I decided to tell him everything. Everything! You had been through so much and you were so important to me. You needed Charlie. I assured him you would be happy together and that was all I've ever wanted, for you to be happy. After everything I had done; it would have been impossible to make up for any of it. You deserved better, you deserved someone like Charlie. He would die for you. He almost did."

I sat awestruck. I never would have imagined any of this. The guilt was overwhelming. I could only guess what Charlie must have been going through. I remembered all those things Charlie had to do and now I understood exactly what they were and why he disliked them so very much. He must have been visiting Michael all those times and sharing our life with him.

"Oh, Michael," I moaned. "We have to try, Michael. We have to find Charlie and make this right."

Michael raised his hand as if he was listening to something. He looked me over curiously.

"What is it Michael?" As soon as I asked, though, I instinctively understood what was happening. I felt my veins constrict, like they were shrinking in on themselves. "Oh, that's awful," I rubbed at my arms hoping to alleviate the discomfort.

Michael took my hand and stood me up. He led me to the kitchen and selected a small paring knife from the butcher's block on the counter. He glided the knife across his wrist and though the idea appalled me, the scent of his blood coursed through my nose and I reached for his arm.

"You need to hurry," he said, "I heal quickly."

I put my lips around the incision he made and forced the thought of what I was doing from my mind. It was incomprehensible, cannibalistic and yet so very good. The pressure in my veins eased and somehow I sensed I'd taken enough and needed to stop. I pulled myself away and raised my eyes to gaze up at Michael.

He was standing impossibly still, like a statue looking straight ahead. His mouth was grinning slightly and there was the unmistakable expression of ecstasy on his face.

"Michael?" I asked hoping to get his attention.

He was so still I started to wonder if he heard me call his name. He slowly lowered his gaze to mine and returned to the moment, "Oh," he said, "that was unexpected. I can't tell you how good that felt," he looked deliriously happy.

"Really?"

"I don't know why but I think that may have been the most..." he searched for a word, "erotic sensation I've ever felt."

"Okaaay. I'm not sure what to say to that," I giggled.

"Don't say anything."

A wondrous smile crept across his lips. He took my face in his hands and kissed me ever so gently. It was an undeniable invitation. Every nerve in my lips seemed stimulated and I gasped at the sensuousness of so simple an act. Michael pulled back and his eyes danced playfully.

"Will it always feel so, so..."

"Intense?" Michael suggested.

"Yes! I can't tell you," I shook my head.

He kissed me again, "When you're strong it will."

"Strong?"

"You just...fed," he mumbled obviously uncomfortable with the idea of the unfortunate necessity, "and your senses are all heightened."

"Oh," I whispered. I couldn't think of anything to say, fearful it might spoil the moment. "Kiss me again."

When he did, his desires seemed to couple with mine. My yearnings doubled and our passion became an extraordinary need that neither could ignore. I stood up and savored the thrill of his fingertips as they caressed mine. I briefly remembered and regretted the times I'd been with Victor and wondered how Michael would ever forgive me.

"Don't think like that," he whispered, "Your regrets are nothing compared to the ones I have."

I involuntarily thought of Brenda.

"Yes, and countless oth..."

I put my finger over his lips, "We will forgive each other and we will never be those people again."

He scooped me up and carried me to the bedroom.

"Oh," I whispered as he gently set me down. "I know this," I ran my fingers over the dense fabric of the bedspread.

"How could you? You've never been here."

"But I've dreamt of it, Michael, of you, here, resting here."

"Do you dream of me often," he teased.

"Michael, you are always in my dreams," I reached up and brought him down beside me.

As we lay side by side, he slid my dress up over my head. It was in ruins from the flare and I didn't understand why but Michael gently eased it off me.

"Maybe he's trying to preserve the moment," I thought.

He rolled away as he shoved the tattered garment towards the edge of the bed and when he turned back, he made a little gasp of surprise. When I looked down to see what had caught his attention, I noticed the scar in the middle of my chest. It was very faint, almost like a birthmark. The flare must have made it and I didn't think it was all that unusual. Wounds like the one I received inevitably left scars.

"But not as you are now. You should have healed."

"I did heal."

"Not completely."

"Is it ugly? Do you not like it?"

"No, it's not that, it's...well you can't see it from your perspective. Here," he handed me out of the bed and stood me in front of the mirror.

It was hardly visible and I doubted anyone would ever notice it but I saw the outline. It was about two inches in diameter and looked very similar to a peace symbol. Odder still there were little shoots coming off it like a paint splatter that made the symbol look like as if it rested in the middle of a heart.

"Huh, well if that isn't the oddest scar ever!"

Michael nipped his finger, "Maybe this will work."

"No," I curled his finger away. "I want to keep it, to remind me of everything we have been through. It will help us to remember the people we've lost and how much we loved them. It will give us hope that despite everything we've been through we can still find peace."

"I love you." He didn't need to say anything else to revive the moment.

I always sensed there was more to lovemaking than the physical but other than the first few times I had never experienced the emotional connection. This time was different as our hearts and bodies strove toward the same objective. He told me how much he loved me with unspoken words; memories and ideas. He poured his thoughts into mine and I took them all in and answered each with a series of my own heartfelt expressions.

Throughout our lovemaking I noticed that strange, phantom tendril reaching out to us. It seemed to twist and turn and bind us together, weaving us into a singular tapestry of souls. Eventually our lips finally found the vital position on one another's necks and an unimaginable ecstasy coursed through our bodies. Time stood distant and still until the delirium slowly subsided and we withdrew from one another. He held my face staring into my eyes while I cried from the overwhelming joy I felt.

"I love you," I crushed him to my chest. "I can never lose you again."

"That may be the one thing that would be the death of me," he softly replied as his lips rested against my ear. He pulled back and kissed me.

The minutes ticked by.

Michael took my chin. "You're right; we have to fix things with Charlie," he kissed my temple. "If we plan things carefully enough, we can go home in a day or two. I'll need to arrange a place for you to stay first."

"Thank you, Michael. Thank you for understanding."

## Chapter 25

Three days later we were ready to leave. Michael contacted Margaret and asked her arrange a contractor to convert one of the bedrooms in his house into a darkroom. It pained me watching him tell her how important the work was and that it needed to be done to his exact specifications. Though he never said it outright, I'm sure she understood he wasn't picking up a new hobby and he intended the room for me. It gave me great deal of uneasiness and regret and I hoped she wouldn't blame Michael for how things had turned out. Every time I saw him pacing the floor and relaying his instructions, though, my heart sank.

He would have preferred to go himself and oversee the work but he refused to leave me alone. "It's too soon, Elayna, it might be dangerous for you. We don't know how this is going to go for you; whether you will have the self-control to live within certain..." he took a deep breath, "boundaries."

I started to interject, "But we will never know if we never try."

"No!" he insisted. "I will take care of you. I won't let you make the kinds of mistakes I made. I couldn't live with myself if anything so...so regrettable should happen."

I understood his concerns; he didn't want to risk me hurting anyone especially since in his mind it was completely avoidable. He made sure to keep this part of our lives hidden from me. I never knew the full truth but I suspected he slipped out before I woke and took care of this unfortunate necessity. Afterwards he would share himself with me and even though it made me cringe with guilt it always ended up being very personal and very intimate. I hated having to use him this way but he wouldn't budge on the matter so I tried not to let it bother me.

Instead I focused on the idea of finally being able to love one another openly. It overwhelmed me and helped push my apprehensions into the far corners of my mind.

We had a few nights to ourselves before we flew home. They were wholly ours and during them Michael and I acted like any other new lovers. We went to the movies and strolled in the park hand in hand; he brought me flowers and whispered sweet-nothings to me whenever the mood struck him. He acted hopelessly romantic and told me on our first night together that he had always dreamed of courting me.

"Courting," I teased him, "how old fashioned!"

"Not the way I'll do it. I am going to spend every night from now until forever winning your heart."

Though I was sure he knew he already had it, I ran a skeptical eye over him and he responded to the challenge in my expression.

I had just woken up and despite my protests he held his hand out and tugged me to my feet. He gently stripped me from my clothes then scooped me up. From the panic room, he carried me down the hallway to the bathroom. It shimmered in the glow of a hundred candles; all notably enclosed in glass. A soft symphony played in the background and the bath was drawn. It beckoned with a glossy coating of bubbles and the smell of scented oil.

Michael set me on the edge of the tub and kissed me. He drew his shirt over his head and shimmied out of his pants then picked me up and settled me into the heady water. He glided in opposite me and sighed.

"This is one of my favorite imaginings," he smiled as he gathered my right foot and massaged it with smooth, firm strokes. After a few minutes he kissed my big toe and put my foot aside before motioning for the other.

I grinned from ear to ear as he finished up with the second foot, "You'd better be careful, I could get used to this. Think of all the years you're indenturing yourself to."

"I have thought of them, many, many times and I have something planned for every one of them," he swam across the tub to me.

He was impossible to resist. I swung my legs over his and lost myself in the ecstasy of all the wondrous sensations he encouraged from my body. We clung to one another afterwards, our fingers slowly running up and down one another's spines. Once we regained our composure Michael brushed me with a quick kiss and stepped from the bath. He hastily showered before handing me out of the tub so I could do the same. While I washed and rinsed, he hurried away to get dressed but returned just as I finished up. He handed me a robe then carefully extinguished the candles. I wrapped myself up and headed to the bedroom.

There were several articles laid out for me and since he had dressed quite casual, I chose my outfit along the same lines. Afterwards I wandered back to the bathroom to fix my hair and so forth. I didn't realize it but it was the first time I had looked at myself in the mirror since Michael transformed me. At first I wasn't even sure it was me. I studied myself turning my head from left to right and back again.

The changes were subtle but significant. I felt like I had never really seen myself until that very moment. Michael came and stood behind me and while I gazed at our reflections, I wondered how we would ever go unnoticed with such an ethereal appearance.

"People see what they want to see and nothing more. Look how beautiful you are," he whispered stroking my arm. My stomach did an excited little flip when he touched me. "Come let's go out for a bit," he found my fingers and wrapped them in his.

He turned me away from the mirror and ushered me down the hallway. We paused at a nearby closet and Michael grabbed the two leather jackets hanging on the rack. He handed one to me and smiling I shrugged myself into it. I couldn't help noticing the roguish expression in his eyes and wondered what he was up to. Michael opened a door at the end of the corridor and flipped the light switch. The garage lit up and we wove our way between the cars to the far wall where a black, beastly looking motorcycle sat parked.

"It's won't be quite the same but I know how much you loved your first ride, are you up for a second?" he entered a code into a nearby keypad and the garage door opened letting in the sultry night air. Michael took a helmet from one of the shelves and handed me one as well. He grabbed a set of keys from a pegboard fastened to the wall and walked up to the lumbering, brute of a motorcycle, "What do you say?"

Before I could answer he started the engine. It emitted a thunderous bellow that echoed off the walls. He chuckled as he revved the bike once or twice and I felt the noise vibrating through the floor before he wheeled it out into the driveway. He straddled the bike then grinned and cocked his head motioning me to hop on. I happily trotted to where Michael was waiting and sidled up behind him. As I wrapped my arms around his waist, he pulled them tighter and kicked the bike into gear.

He was right. It wasn't at all like the first ride he had taken me on for my 9th birthday. I remembered how frightened I was especially when I realized how fast we were going. Despite my fear it ended up being my favorite present and I cherished the memory for months on end. I had always hoped for another opportunity but we never had the chance.

I savored the ride as we rumbled along and drifted through the streets at an easy pace. Whenever he was not shifting or braking, he placed his hand on my knee and I could feel all over again the happy serenity I felt all those years ago.

We had a lovely evening together and when we returned to the house I considered telling him that I didn't want to go home. That I wasn't ready to resolve things with Charlie and to face Margaret. All I wanted was to share night after night with him and to forget all the hardships that still lay ahead of us.

"We will, Elayna, once this is behind us, every night will be ours and I promise to make them just as memorable." He took my hands in his and turned them over so he could kiss each palm. Or at least that's what I thought he was doing. "If you will have me, that is."

I looked down, turned my hand over and though I couldn't imagine how it had gotten there weighing down my finger was the most remarkable engagement ring I had ever seen.

It seemed like my heart would burst it beat so hard and fast.

I don't know why I doubted it but, "Can we even do that?" It seemed the strangest and yet at the same time most natural thing in the world – getting married.

"Of course we can, although..."

"Although what?"

"Well, it won't be anything more than that. You know...or maybe you don't... we..."

I saw it in his eyes, "We can't have a family," I finished for him.

He shook his head.

It filled me with regret to learn that children were an impossibility for us. As I searched his eyes, though, I knew our lives would be happy and full enough as long as we were together.

"So, will you?"

I threw myself around him, "How could you even ask that after all we have been through?" I took his face in my hands, "Yes, Michael! Yes, I will!"

Somehow having the ring on my finger gave me the courage I needed. I knew we would overcome these last few obstacles and move on with our lives. We readied ourselves the night Margaret called to tell us everything was in order and took a flight home. We arrived early enough that we drove straight to her house from the airport.

I clutched Michael's hand when we made the final turn into Margaret's subdivision. She must have heard us pull in because the porch light came on as soon as Michael put the car in park. Suddenly I was a bundle of nerves and it was the last place I wanted to be. Michael sensed my nervousness and brought my hand to his lips, "It will be fine," he said encouragingly. "Imagine what it was like when I first told her about me!"

I was sure it must have been infinitely more difficult. Margaret had known for many, many years and had time to acknowledge and accept Michael's fate so I was sure my transformation would not be quite so shocking. As I turned these thoughts over she opened the door and I was instantly overwhelmed by Margaret's emotions. She looked so happy to see me and to know I was safe and well. There was the underlying disappointment that my life had not turned out the way she hoped but it was insignificant compared to the love I sensed she felt for Michael and for me.

It cheered my heart and I hurried to where she stood. I gently wrapped my arms around her. I had never been able to express my appreciation for everything she had done for me. I had never been able to show Margaret how much I loved, admired and respected her. It seemed like she was a part of me now, almost the same way Michael was and I flooded her mind with all my heartfelt emotions and prayed she would understand how grateful I was for the time we shared. Somehow I sensed she felt the same.  
She never had a daughter but that was how she thought of me, had always thought of me and always would.

Michael stood quietly and watched the display but soon began to covet the love he felt he was missing out on and took us both in his arms. Several minutes passed before Margaret suggested we head indoors to where we would all be more comfortable. Michael disentangled himself from us and held Margaret's hand on one side while I grasped the other and we led her inside.

My lips trembled when I realized that Kaley wasn't there to greet me as she had done for the past 10 years. There was no leash waiting on the table for a hasty walk to the greenway and back, no massive head to rest on my knee hoping for a scrap of food from my plate. Michael helped Margaret as she took her seat and I settled into mine. He placed a stool just to the right and a little behind me as I sat across from Margaret. He rested his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist knowing I needed a little comfort just then.

Margaret stared captivated and closely looked us over, "I almost can't bear to look at the two of you," she turned her eyes from one to the other and back again. "You're both so...so breathtaking," she shook her head.

Before she could ask I sensed her wondering what we would do now; what our next steps would be toward tying up our loose ends and living this new life.

"That's why we're here, Mother. Have you heard from Charlie at all?"

"No, Michael, I haven't," she answered.

"Hmm. When was the last time you went to Elayna's apartment?"

"Not since Charlie brought me there after..." she rubbed her shoulder.

"Well, let's not talk about that now."

"Why are you so concerned about Charlie?" she sounded worried.

I answered for us, "It's nothing. We...we just want to apologize. He's meant a lot," I glanced at Michael, "to both of us and we want to help him understand."

"Understand?"

"I did some things, Mother..."

"We did some things."

Michael nodded and together we took turns explaining it all to Margaret. It was wrenching at times but we managed to piece everything together for Margaret so she would know where we all stood. Michael was careful and edited a few of the details hoping to portray Victor in the most positive light allowable. Margaret looked deeply saddened when she learned that Victor had taken his life and wondered if there was anything she could have done that would have made things turn out differently.

"Mother, it wasn't your fault. We all need to accept responsibility for who we are and what we become. Victor knew who he was. He knew he could have reached out to any one of us at any time and we would have helped him. In the end he took a step towards redemption and I'm sure he was sorry for all the harm he had done and didn't blame anyone but himself."

There were several minutes of quiet as we all reflected on the events. Then Margaret asked if we had been to Michael's yet and if he had a chance to look over the work that was done.

Michael glanced at his watch and sighed, "No," he said. "I guess we should be going, just in case I need to make any changes," he stood up and kissed his mother's cheek.

"Thank you, Margaret. Thank you for everything," I said. "We'll see you again soon."

She smiled and hugged us each at the door. As we made our way down the walkway towards the car I suddenly realized that we hadn't told her about our engagement. I started to turn back, "She knows," Michael chuckled. He bent to kiss me but paused midway.

"Michael?"

He looked around like he was searching for something, "Huh," he frowned then shrugged and kissed my temple.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Let's get home and settled."

I worried for half a moment but Michael assured me with the utmost confidence that I needn't and helped me into the car.

## Chapter 26

Michael inspected the room and only found a few faults. He touched them up and together we brought a few furnishings from the guest bedroom and arranged them in the darkroom. It was an odd contrast; the soft colors of the bedspread against the black, vacant floors and walls. I wondered if there was any way to make it homier but also knew I shouldn't let it bother me since I would be completely unaware of the world around me while I rested.

"We'll figure something out when we have more time. This," he motioned to the room, "was the fastest, temporary," he emphasized, "solution."

"I know," I sighed.

There were still a few hours before sunrise and Michael suggested we use them to go to my apartment and get a few of my things so I would have them when I woke. When we got there I looked around in shock. My apartment was in total disarray. Litter lay everywhere and many of my things had been smashed or broken. The seat cushions had huge rents in them, my sheets and clothes were in shreds. It was heartbreaking to see. There was only one person who could have done it. For the first time since I had known him I realized I didn't know Charlie as well as I thought I did.

Michael stood behind me while I took it all in. He put his hands on my arms and stroked them comfortingly, "It can all be replaced, Elayna."

I nodded, "It's not just that, though." I never would have imagined Charlie capable of any violence. It upset me to lose so much but there was an almost tangible anger in the scene before us and that worried me more. It offered a frightening view of how Charlie felt and what he might do.

"There's no sense in going through any of this now," Michael stated.

"No," I shook my head. I wondered if Charlie had gone to the shop, too, and if we would find it in a similar state.

"I can take you there, if you'd like but Elayna, what would we gain?"

"It doesn't matter. I'll never have a chance to use any of it again, anyway." Suddenly my heart skipped a beat. "Maybe we shouldn't have left Margaret alone."

Michael's jaw tightened as my words washed over him.

"Call her," I urged, "and ask her to stay with us, just to be safe."

He nervously dialed her number. There was no answer and the line went to voicemail after a handful of rings. I saw the fear growing in Michael's eyes. It was well after midnight and into the morning hours though, "Try again. She might have been asleep and didn't hear it," I suggested.

Michael hit redial only to receive similar results, "Let's go," he took my hand and we raced out the door.

We were down the stairs and in the car before I even realized it. He drove us straight to Margaret's. I dialed her number over and over again until we got there. When we arrived, there was no sign of Margaret. It didn't look as if her door had been forced open or that there was a struggle of any sort. Even after everything we told her I was sure Margaret still trusted Charlie. If he visited her under the pretense of concern for me and Michael she might have let him in, perhaps even left with him.

"But where would they go? Can you find her the way you always found me?"

Michael closed his eyes and concentrated, "I can't," he ground his teeth in dismay.

"But you must! There must be some way! We have to find her; whatever it takes. If Charlie has her..." my voice trailed off. The world did an odd shift and I swayed dizzily.

"What is it?" I heard Michael's voice, distant and full of concern.

"What if..." an idea grazed my mind. "Didn't you tell me that our senses are heightened after we feed?"

Michael narrowed his eyes as he considered what I said.

"I wonder... would you be able to sense her if..." I looked at my wrist. "Maybe you could find her if you were a little... stronger right now."

"No! Never! It's too dangerous. It's too late, the sun will be up soon and if I take too much, if you become too weak," he shook his head. "No, no, we mustn't. Margaret wouldn't want us to."

"We have to do something! Wait! What if you tried making me strong?"

There was a long, long pause while my suggestion sunk in but I knew Michael would say yes as soon as the words came out of my mouth. He bent his neck to my lips. "Quickly, before I change my mind."

I took a deep breath, made my incision and drew and drew and drew. I felt like living ice as his blood flooded my insides; cold, solid, unbreakable. The sights, sounds and scents of the world were like a tidal wave assaulting all of my senses at once. Michael dropped to his knees when I released him. I started to cry he looked so pitiful and weak. Michael was my hero, my everything but I had stripped so much away from him in that instant, I didn't even recognize him as he lay at my feet.

"Margaret," he whispered as I bent down and sorrowfully kissed his cheeks.

My eyes fell closed and suddenly I knew exactly where Charlie was. I lifted Michael across my shoulders and lay him in the trunk of the car; fearful he would be too weak to resist the sun if it came up before I confronted Charlie. I drove us to Michael's house.

"Charlie, it's me...Lily," I called as I walked down the hallway.

I paused midway. His thoughts seemed shadowy and I couldn't discern them with much precision. The strength and surety Michael's blood had given me must have been wearing off already. I could smell Charlie, though, as I walked; the body wash he used, the deodorant, even the mouth rinse he had used after he brushed his teeth that morning.

I made my way towards the darkroom.

When I neared the doorway a light flashed on. I saw Charlie sitting on the bed eyeing me as I stepped in. Margaret sat on his right. She looked unharmed but her fear was palpable.

"He has a gun," I thought to myself. The situation angered and disgusted me.

"Why don't you come around and sit here with us?"

"No, I don't think I will, Charlie."

"Suit yourself. Where's Michael? I'm sure it must be heart wrenching to be torn away from him again so soon. I was counting on you two being together."

"Michael is...he's resting. You should let Margaret go."

"Hmm, no. She's quite comfortable where she is, right Margaret?" he poked her ribs with the gun.

I wondered how fast I was and if it would be possible for me to get her away from Charlie before he had a chance to react. He must have seen the plan forming in my eyes.

"You might but then again..." he gave a sinister little chuckle. "Is that an engagement ring?" he frowned. I'm not sure if I blushed but I certainly felt the shame his question brought on and it swelled like a bubble in my chest. "I should have known this day would come," Charlie spat, "I knew Michael couldn't be trusted," his focus shifted to my face. "God, I didn't think it was possible but you are even more beautiful than ever."

"I'm sorry, Charlie. I know this has been difficult for you."

"Difficult!" Charlie turned from me, "I love you, Lily. I always have, since the first day we met."

I shook my head, "Charlie..."

"Shut up," Charlie screamed. "You don't know what I've felt for you!! You never even bothered to look. If you had you would have seen that Michael's love is nothing compared to the way I feel about you!! Look what he's done to you!! Your mother, your father!! How can you love him after all he has put you through?"

I pursed my lips and realized I understood exactly what Charlie's feelings were for the first time since I had known him. It wasn't love that had brought him to this. His expression made me recall the night he shot at Victor and Michael as they fought. Suddenly I realized he hadn't been trying to help Michael by shooting Victor, he wanted to kill them both. The more I considered it, the more sense it made. I decided I had to do something before his anger got the better of him.

As my mind sifted through the possibilities Michael's voice rang out directly behind me, "I know why you're here Charlie."

I turned and couldn't imagine how I didn't notice his approach or how he was even there after I had taken so much from him. As I looked at Michael, though, there didn't seem to be any indication whatsoever of what I had done to him. I stood awestruck remembering that just moments ago Michael was nothing more than a shell of the man I loved.

He didn't acknowledge me, "Consolation prize," he said to Charlie.

"That's right," he nodded.

"Michael, don't do it. You mustn't, even for me," Margaret pleaded. She seemed to understand what Charlie was after.

"Oh, I don't want you to do it, Michael," Charlie looked to me.

I closed my eyes and the realization made my heart sink, "I would never do that Charlie. I'm not sure that I can; I don't even know how."

"But Michael does, don't you Michael?"

Despite myself I considered the possibility. I wanted to save Margaret but found myself wondering if Charlie was capable of what he had already done and what he was doing now, what wouldn't he be capable of if we gave him what he wanted? It seemed impossible that someone like Charlie would ever having the control and compassion to live the way Michael did.

I added my plea to Margaret's, "I won't do it, Michael."

"Ssh," he came and stood beside me. He looked down and brushed my cheek. He was so calm, so serene for the situation we were facing.

Michael looked from me to Margaret and his eyes rounded on Charlie. There was something in them I didn't recognize; a will that wouldn't be denied.

"There is no way this will end other than badly," Michael's insisted, his voice flat and emotionless. There seemed to be an invisible command behind it.

Charlie stood up and shoved Margaret to her feet. Michael held his hand out to her and Charlie lowered the gun. I stepped forward to take Margaret in my arms, eager to get her away from Charlie. When he saw me move a moment of lucidity flashed in his eyes. Charlie raised the gun, fired and before I could shield her, Margaret collapsed to the floor.

"NO!" I screamed and lunged for Charlie with a brutal determination.

"Elayna!" Michael laid a hand on my shoulder and held me back. When I realized what I was doing, I dropped Charlie and flew to Margaret's side. I took her hands in mine. "Oh, Margaret, please, no, no, no," I sobbed and shook.

"Michael," I looked up at him pleading, "you have to help her. You..."

"I can't," his voice cracked. "Not this time," he dialed 911.

"What are you saying?" I screamed at him. "We can't let her die. I won't let her die!" I tore at my wrist determined to give her what he wouldn't.

"Elayna, it has to be this way," he seized my arm and drew me away as I fought vehemently against him.

"Ssh, ssh," he soothed and stroked my hair. "I promise you, she will be alright. Elayna, she is my mother. I love her just as much as you but listen, please, please listen to me."

His will clamped down on my emotions and I wailed as Michael calmed me, "How Michael, how can you leave her like this?" I cried.

Michael took me by the shoulders, "The police and the paramedics will be here soon. I need you to leave...," he paused for a moment. "Go to Victor's. He must have a room there. Go now, before it's too late."

"What?" I shook my head, "No, why would I..." then, "Oh!" my mind flooded with images.

Michael had just come home from a business trip. He invited his mother to visit. They had dinner together and after telling her he had gotten engaged, the night slipped away from them. They talked about his fiancé and all their plans for the wedding and their future together.

While he was getting ready to bring Margaret home, Charlie showed up embittered and enraged. Michael had me transfixed and I saw everything the way he would encourage the police to see it. I was Charlie's ex-girlfriend and Michael was my fiancé. I looked around. Charlie was sitting in a stupor on the bed; the gun still in his hand. Margaret was lying on the floor in a pool of blood. It seemed perfectly obvious what had happened.

"She's just in shock, Elayna. It is not as bad as it looks. I promise you, she will be alright."

He kissed my forehead; we could hear the sirens rapidly approaching, "Please," he urged me, "this is the best way for this to end. No one will get hurt."

I took a deep breath, one last look at Charlie and Margaret and did what Michael suggested. I cried throughout the entire drive and berated myself for not knowing Charlie nearly as well as I thought I did. Just a short while ago I believed he loved me and Margaret and would never do anything to hurt either of us. I thought I loved him, too.

I wondered what would happen to him.

"Oh, Margaret," my head was swimming with so many questions, so many fears. I needed to hurry though, I needed to trust Michael and push those thoughts aside. As I neared the downtown area, I began to grow sluggish; my heartbeat and my breathing began to slow. I parked in the garage and raced up the stairs into the lobby of Victor's building. I wasn't aware of any other entrance into his apartment than the elevator and fretfully waited while it made its way down. My knees started to buckle and the few people who saw me stumble when the doors slid back gave me some curious looks. The first little tremors flickered across my skin. Someone approached the elevator intending to ride up to their floor with me but I convinced him to turn away and wait for another car.

I slumped to the floor as soon as the doors slid closed. The car shielded me for the moment and clawed my way to standing. When I finally reached the penthouse, I turned left and right wondering where Victor's darkroom would be.

"Where the sun shines the least," I hypothesized and after getting my bearings felt my way along the wall. I pulled all the panels off the light switches and outlets as I went remembering Michael's panic room.

It was getting too bright and my sight grew blurry. My skin started to rise like gooseflesh and began to blister and blemish. I tumbled through and open doorway when I unwittingly came to a break in the wall.

"Oh, my," I breathed.

I found it but it wasn't at all what I expected. It was a bedroom just like any other and very contemporary in design with all the furnishings in contrasting shades of black and white. The most significant piece was the bed. It stood in the center of the room, steel-framed and tented with what looked like a heavy tarp. I lovingly ran my fingers over the folds of the tapestry. It was cold and solid, "Lead," I whispered. Whoever made it must have been a master craftsman; it was so intricate and finely woven. I crawled through the opening and draped it closed.

Smiling, I laid my head against the pillow and slipped into my daytime languor.

## Chapter 27

Michael was with me when I woke. We lie in bed wrapped around one another; a tangle of arms and legs pretzeled together in the darkness. I smiled realizing this was the first time I had seen Michael rest. Most nights his face was the last thing I saw before I fell asleep and the first thing I saw when I woke. He looked impossibly beautiful as I studied his features one by one. I was afraid to move and disturb the preciousness of the moment.

"You won't disturb me," he nibbled my ear teasingly, "I'm not asleep."

"Do you ever sleep?"

"Sometimes, not like you, though. You look carved from stone when you rest; you look...eternal."

I sat up, "Where's Margaret? Can I see her?"

"Whoa," Michael said and tugged me back down. "Yes, we can go visit her but not right now. She's home and quite alright I assure you."

"I need to see for myself," I tried escaping again.

"Elayna, you can't. Not yet anyway. I told the police you were out of town, visiting family up North, and that I haven't been able to reach you just yet. I had to make them believe that you weren't aware of anything that happened and you weren't involved in any way. Charlie was arrested; you understand what that means don't you? They will prosecute him and he will have a trial. You can't testify during the day."

I buried my face in my hands, "Oh, this is awful. Michael, you need to tell me everything that happened."

"There's not much to tell, Elayna. The police came and took Charlie away and the paramedics brought Margaret to the hospital. She was treated and released. We gave our statements and that was the end of it. I drove Margaret home and came straight here. This is magnificent, by the way," he ran his fingers over the leaden drapes, "Victor..."

"You're keeping something from me."

Michael sighed, "Elayna," he shook his head.

"What Michael?!" I demanded.

There was a long drawn out pause, "Please try to understand. This is the way it has to be."

"I don't understand what that means."

He closed his eyes, "I...I didn't make him forget. I didn't even try."

"You what?"

"Charlie knows...he knows everything."

"Oh, no!! Has he said anything? What will people do when they find out about us?"

"No one is going to find out. Charlie is...Charlie's...he's a little...off."

"He's crazy?!"

Michael buried his head, "It was for the best, Elayna. Everything that happened last night, it was all for the best."

My eyes went wide with understanding, "It was planned! You planned it! You knew everything that would happen and you let it?! Good God, Michael, how could you do that? You let Charlie shoot Margaret and... oh, oh, if you hadn't stopped me I would have killed Charlie for hurting her."

"No, I didn't plan anything, Elayna, how could I? I suspected the way things would turn out, yes and given the choices between killing Charlie, putting him in jail for a few years so he could do this all over again and putting him somewhere safe for the rest of his life; I think I made the right choice! Victor tried making him forget and we all know how that turned out. What if I couldn't do it or it wore off?"

All my anger suddenly dwindled into insignificance and I came to the realization that Michael was right. What he had done was the safest alternative for everyone involved.

"Oh, Michael," I threw myself around him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know it must have been a difficult choice and you did what was best for me and for Margaret." I started to cry, "We have ruined so many lives."

"We've made some bad choices; me especially. I should never have encouraged Charlie to love you but he did it willfully and that was his choice. You can't blame yourself for that. He knew there were no guarantees; it could have been like any other relationship and run its course."

I sniffled, "And Margaret?"

"My mother loves you like a daughter, Elayna. She would eagerly make the same mistakes over and over again if it meant having you in her life."

"And Victor?"

"Victor made his choices, too. He thought...he hoped you would help him; the way you helped me when you were a little girl. He was very," Michael flexed his hand, "confused. Whatever happened, you were only partially, very partially, to blame. He influenced you more than you realize." Michael wandered off into his own thoughts for a moment then softly spoke, "I think you may have influenced him, too. In the end he admitted his mistakes and regretted all the harm he had done. He understood there was no way for him to make up for it all. He sacrificed himself for you."

"For us, Michael. For us." I considered what he said for a moment then my mind suddenly changed course and I remembered what I had done to Michael in order to find Charlie and Margaret in the first place. "What happened to you? How did you heal so quickly and without...?"

"I'm not sure, Elayna. I really don't know," I saw him searching his mind struggling to recall.

"You let me take so much from you and you were so weak but when you found us in the darkroom, it was like it never happened. You must have..." I shook my head, "I wonder if..." the idea slowly crept up on me, "like when you are hurt and you heal. It must have replenished itself somehow; it's as if your blood fixed itself."

Michael raised his brows, "Maybe," he said, "that's an interesting idea."

Several minutes of quiet reflection passed on both our sides. I reached out and touched his cheek. He looked so sad, so defeated; sorry, perhaps, that our lives had been woven together with such a tragic tapestry of events. I silently prayed that we had seen the last of misfortune for a while. "What else could it do but get better from here," I thought to myself.

Michael suddenly brightened. He peeled my hand from his cheek and pressed it to his lips, "Let's go somewhere. Let's not think about these things any more tonight."

I smiled, "I'd like that."

We slipped from the bed and I made my way to the bedroom Victor had locked me in just a few short nights ago. I sorted through the clothes he had bought for me and found something to change into. Michael located the fire escape while I readied myself and we hurried down to the parking garage. He drove us to the highway and headed east. I knew he was taking us towards the coast and that it would be an hour or two before we got there.

"Ah," I sighed, nestling into the passenger's seat and pushing all our troubles to the back of my mind. "I love you," I reached over and caressed his thigh.

"I love you," he whispered and reached for my fingertips.

I hardly noticed the ride passing, I was so absorbed in thinking about our future together and how much I would cherish every peaceful, loving moment I hoped we would soon get to share.

Once we arrived Michael parked near one of the beach access points and helped me from the car. We walked in silence for nearly an hour enjoying the soft sounds of the ocean at night and the closeness of one another before we turned and began our walk back. There were only a handful of people out at that time of night and just a sliver of a moon so when Michael turned to me and bit his lip bringing a drop or two for me to taste I didn't hesitate.

No one noticed us as we fell onto the shore and lavished our affection on each other. It was so magical, so cathartic; a precursor of things to come.

As we lay breathless in the sand Michael twirled my ring around finger while we looked up into the night sky, "From now until forever," I sighed contentedly.

"I promise," Michael leaned over and kissed me.

I could taste the sea on his lips, "Mmm, salty," I giggled.

"And sandy," he chuckled as he helped me to standing. "I know the perfect cure," suddenly I was swept up and he was running with me in his arms towards the water.

I protested heartily, though I laughed as well, the entire way. The water was surprisingly warm as Michael waded us further and further out. When we were nearly up to his neck, he spun me around and around in a circle before letting me go. The waves crashed over us time and time again while we frolicked and floated. He dove under more than once and stayed under an impossibly long time before popping up behind me to hear my screams of joyful surprise. Every time he did, I vengefully dunked him, which he graciously allowed, then smothered him with heartfelt kisses of apology.

"We'd better get out and dry off before we leave. It's almost time to get you home."

"Aww," I protested, hesitant to give in to the inevitable. I tried drawing him back into the water with me but he wouldn't have it.

"Nope, come along or I'll toss you over my shoulder and bring you back kicking and screaming."

I didn't dare tempt him and instead splashed him one last time, full in the face, before trotting up to the shoreline with him fast on my heels. His fingers caught mine and he whirled me about so I fell hard against his chest. He tucked me under his chin, "I love you, Elayna; you are my whole world. I will do whatever it takes to get us through this as quickly and painlessly as possible so we can start our lives together."

"I know you will Michael. I know."

Michael took me to Victor's insisting that I would be more comfortable there than in the darkroom after what had happened. He settled me in for the day and promised, "Tonight I will take you to see Margaret."

"You're not staying?"

"I can stay until you fall asleep," he rested his lips against my forehead, "but I have some things I need to do."

He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked my hair, brushing it from my temples, "I love you," I yawned.

He chuckled, "I love you."

This time Michael wasn't there when I woke. A pang of panic ran through me with each minute that passed while I busied myself by getting ready to visit Margaret. I nearly tackled him when he finally stepped from the elevator into Victor's apartment.

"Thank goodness," I covered him with kisses while he laughingly pried me from his neck.

"I've missed you, too, but please, Elayna, save some for later," and when he couldn't free himself he picked me and playfully crushed me back. When he put me down he took my face in his hands, "Now then, are you ready to go?" he gave me a quick peck.

"Yes, I've been ready," I tapped my foot.

"I'm sorry, Elayna but I've been working with our attorneys; trying to sort things out. It doesn't look like Charlie is going to have to go to trial. He's had a psychiatric evaluation and will likely be declared incompetent," Michael took a deep breath. "That's probably hard to hear but after what he's done..."

"I know, Michael, it's for the best."

"We'll take care of him. We'll find a nice place, make sure he has every comfort, every amenity and the best of care."

"Thank you, Michael, that means a lot."

When we got to Margaret's I burst in anxious for the relief of seeing her and knowing she was alright. She had her arm in a sling, "Just to keep it still, so the wound won't open and it has a chance to heal," Michael assured me.

I carefully hugged her and kissed her cheeks, "Margaret, I'm so sorry for all of this. I never would have imagined..."

"It's fine, dear," she took my hand and led me to the family room, "You and Michael are everything to me, as long as you are happy and well, I am too," she smiled.

Margaret took her favorite chair and I curled up in a corner of the couch. Michael went to the kitchen and made his mother a cup of tea while we caught up. Once he was back, he sat beside me and took command of the conversation so we wouldn't spend the entire visit talking about Charlie and all the things we wanted to put behind us.

He told us he had been by my apartment and salvaged everything he could and gotten rid of the rest. He had contractors there restoring the walls and floors and once the work was done, he would talk to the landlord about paying off my lease and closing that chapter of my life. Michael said the shop was in a similar state but he had people working there as well.

We talked about giving it up but then I thought, "Why don't you run it for me?" I asked Margaret.

"No," she shook her head, "I'm too old to run a business. I have no desire to work so hard so late in life."

"Get a partner, then, and let them run it for you. You could oversee things and maybe do a little baking, meet some new friends, and work only when you like." I tried encouraging her, influencing her but she sensed what I was up to.

"Elayna," she turned to Michael. "Michael, do you see what your fiancé is trying to do to me?"

He chuckled and it was obvious he thought the idea was a good one. He turned to me, "She might be able to resist you but I wonder if we worked together..."

I smiled at the challenge and tried to complement his will with my own and make it Margaret's. She shook her head, "Oh, alright, we'll see. What else would I do, anyway? Without you and Michael and Kaley all to keep me busy, there's not much left for me now, is there?"

"Aww, don't think like that Margaret. You'll break my heart and besides you know Michael and I will never leave you."

"Yes, I know but once you are married...when are you getting married anyway and how do you plan to go about it?"

"Well, we haven't had a chance to talk about it yet. I guess it will just be the three of us, here, if that's alright with you. We'll wait until you're better, keep it simple and once the shop is in order and you've gotten it going, we'll take our honeymoon."

"Hmm," I sighed. It sounded like a nice plan, though I wasn't sure what kind of honeymoon we could possibly take since I could only travel at night.

"We'll leave at dusk and chase the sun," Michael suggested, "and we'll see the world a little at a time."

It sounded so romantic the way he said it, "But where will I rest?" I looked uncomfortably towards Margaret feeling squeamish about talking like that in front of her.

"We'll use Victor's drapes. If we cut them down to size, I'm sure they'll do the trick."

I felt a little remorseful imagining the beautiful tapestry in ruins but as Michael explained it to Margaret, I decided it shouldn't go to waste. She just shook her head in amazement that Victor had come up with something so creative.

We made some more plans and talked until it was nearly midnight. Though she would have stayed up until dawn to enjoy our company, eventually Michael and I sensed how tired she was and decided we needed to say goodnight.

"You rest," I hugged her goodbye, "we'll be back soon."

We let ourselves out and Michael drove us to Victor's. As we lay in bed clinging to one another, I ran our plans over and over again in my mind. All our troubles seemed to be coming to an end and I finally believed we would find the happiness we had been hoping all our lives for.

"Michael?"

"Yes, Elayna."

"Do you really think this is it?"

"Yes Elayna," he smiled at me, "I believe it is."

## Epilogue

Michael bent all of his efforts towards finding a suitable place for Charlie. He found a beautiful facility about a hundred miles west of where Margaret lived and quietly had him transferred there. It fit all the criteria for his treatment and was also an independent care facility, so Charlie could do almost any and everything he would normally do in society even though he was safely tucked away from it.

According to the reports Michael received from his caregivers he resisted his treatments for about the first 6 months then abruptly became a model patient. Later we learned Charlie had grown attached to another resident and together they formed an alliance that blossomed into a loving relationship. Charlie eventually got a job at the center as a transition officer, helping new patients adjust to a life set apart from the outside world. He seemed to accept his fate and at the same time tried to make the most of it.

Margaret took over the café for me and hired a sweet gentleman named Henry to help her run it. She carefully avoided our questions whenever we hinted that there might be something more between them and insisted they were just good friends as well as business partners. They spent all their free time together, however, and if there were romantic overtures taking place, we were never allowed to witness them.

Once Michael was satisfied that everything would turn out well for Charlie and Margaret he let me set a date for our wedding. We considered the day we met as well as a number of other significant dates in our lives and eventually settled on New Year's Eve since it was a day that everyone looked forward to – a day the world used to make promises for a better future.

We held the wedding at Margaret's like we originally planned. We said our vows in front of her and Henry as well as one other important guest. Michael and I presented Margaret with a new Wolfhound puppy the night of our wedding to keep her company while we travelled for our honeymoon. We named her Victoria and she took an immediate and determined attachment to Margaret. She wore a pink ribbon on her collar with our bands strung through it and sat patiently until it was time to snip them off so Michael and I could place them on one another's fingers.

It may have been a simple ceremony but I couldn't think of anything that would have made it more complete. When it was over Michael swept me off my feet and carried me to a waiting car. We went straight to the airport and began our journey across the world, chasing the sun.

The End

Other Works by S. M. Bowles

· Haeven

· Vivienne: Le Perdu et Retrouve (The Lost and Found)

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