 
### THE SHADES OF NORTHWOOD 4:

### KISS AT MIDNIGHT

Wendy Maddocks

©2013 by Wendy Maddocks

Smashwords edition

**Smashwords License Statement**  
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

### Other works by Wendy Maddocks

### Stand alone novels

Twisted evil

Into the darkness

### Short story collections

The thrill of the Chase

A Shade too young

### The Shades of Northwood series

Running shoes

Circle of arms

Unfinished business

Kiss at midnight

### Circle of the Fallen series

Angels of America

### Poetry collections

When I was young

Before the dawn

###  Screenplays

RISK

###  Non-fiction

Student: dazed and confused

# Where we left...

Katie followed Jaye through the corridor and towards a side exit in silence. Neither of them knew what to say. She glanced over her shoulder at the shrinking people in the corridor. They needed to know she was okay, she was safe. For one heart breaking instant, re-assuring them was the most important thing in the world. Nobody deserved to feel so empty or so guilty. _It's not your fault. Don't blame yourselves._ But no-one answered. She felt hot tears burning the back of her eyes and her throat begin to close up. Once outside and settled in a corner of the medical centre grounds, Jaye broke the silence. Sort of.

You know what happened to you?

I think so. I died. Didn't I?

We tried to bring you back but you kept pushing us all away. There were things you needed to do.

There were?

You don't remember. It'll come back to you. You've only just woken up.

I lost.

Jaye laid her hand over hers. For the first time in... how long... she was touching something real. _No, you won Katie. You killed that man and you fought the darkness. I can see it in you now, you're light again. Absolutely pure and good._

_The spell._ Katie held her hand out and flexed her fingers around the raw tissue. _It burnt the darkness out of me. It was gone by the time I got to the club. I just remembered it well enough to pretend it still owned me._

But that means you killed him in cold blood?

There was a pause as the idea sank in. Somehow, Katie thought it was worth risking her innocence for.

I remember the dreams. The ones where the zombies were trying to get me. And then I let them. And my family were there and I couldn't save them. Jaye, what were my parents doing in my nightmare?

I don't know. I don't know the first thing about dreams. But... maybe it's 'cos you're always thinking of them. You're always trying to protect them from the monsters.

That's why I couldn't touch them. I can't save them like this.

The telepathic messages between them died out for a few minutes. Katie lifted a hand and looked at it wonderingly. She wasn't solid like any of the others. She was real enough that she could see her own body, her bloody hospital gown and bare feet. But she was, at the same time, transparent enough that she could see the trees swaying and people walking or cycling past through her own hands. And questions came as she stared and enjoyed this new peace. How was she going to find Jack? Did dying mean she could have this inner quiet forever now? What about school and running? Could she ever see her parents and sister again? But the concerns seemed very distant. Not insignificant or irrelevant. Just... not urgent.

But one question was shouting... demanding to be asked.

_Jaye, how do I do this? How do I_ be _dead?_

# Chapter one

"I don't care that it's ugly, I'm keeping it," said Jaye after a long silence. She rolled her sleeves up and held her right arm out, nodding slightly. "Yeah. I like it. It's symbolic, don't you think? It, like, ties us all together – a symbol of what we all did."

A harassed looking woman – Carol, who worked on reception – hurried past and threw a funny look at the girl with the silver scar who appeared to be talking to herself. Jaye glared back and Carol shook her head and moved on.

_All I see,_ began her partner in conversation. _All I see is a permanent reminder that you guys risked everything for me and I died anyway. You don't have to keep it... and you shouldn't._

"Most of the others won't get the choice, you know," she carried on as though Katie had never even spoken. Which she hadn't. At least, not in the physical sense. "Most of them'll scar eventually anyway but if they – hey, are you cold?"

_No, I'm shivering for the fun of it._ And then Katie realised that none of the snarky comebacks she wanted to answer stupid questions with were secret any more. She blushed - well, maybe she blushed. Her cheeks certainly warmed up but she wasn't sure she had any real blood to give them that rosy tint. _Yes, I'm freezing._

"Might help if you put some clothes on then, babe."

Katie looked down at herself, long brown hair streaked with dried blood falling over her face – a thin hospital gown and a plastic band around her ankle with her name and medical number on it. No wonder she was cold. _How?_

"Just close your eyes and imagine them on you. One condition though... you have to physically own them. And if nothing you own fits, then somebody can buy you stuff and give it to you. Then it's truly yours and you can wear it. Get it?"

Katie nodded even though she wasn't sure at all.

"So, go on. Try it."

She hesitated. All kinds of things could go wrong. What if she imagined her hospital gown off but couldn't make anything replace it? What if she imagined herself into an outfit and couldn't get rid of it? What if her focus took a holiday and she imagined the whole town into Disney OTT-ness? What if she just thought about clothes and ended up wearing everything she owned? Oh God, this could go wrong in so many ways. The only consolation was that if she did mess up then Jaye was the only one around to see. With a final look at Jaye for encouragement, Katie screwed her eyes shut and tried to think herself into some proper clothes.

All the clothes she had at home, all the new things Marcie had made her buy just a couple of weeks ago, and the only one that stayed in the front of her mind was a white and pale blue outfit she didn't even own any longer. The pale blue sweats had been what she was wearing when the world first got ripped from underneath her. The tracksuit that had been torn to shreds and stained with blood and guilt and shame was the last thing she wanted to be wearing. Think of something else, _anything_ else. Something was happening.

"I guess it's a start."

What? What have I done?

Katie followed a pointing finger down to her feet, now clad in thick soled but air light work boots. Laces snaked over the floor at the sides and Katie bent down to tie them up, feeling a restraining hand on her arm.

"Imagine them tied."

It took a few minutes and a few accidents but finally the boots were tied with the power of her mind. And she was exhausted.

"Do you remember what you had to do?" Katie frowned at her friend. "We tried to save you, keep you alive, but you said you had things to do. What things?"

Had she? Why would she say that? Why would she prevent the big-hearted girl saving her life and willingly dive into death? Maybe something had happened. _I don't know. I can't remember much. Jaye, why can't I remember?_ Suddenly she was frightened. Behind Katie was a chaos of colour and sound, flashes and lightning strikes, whilst before her... she just didn't know. Couldn't even picture anything beyond this very moment.

"It'll come," Jaye assured her. "Dying's a very traumatic experience, you know."

But you knew right away. That you were dead, I mean. You knew that. Did you know how it happened?

"No. And I still don't. But I can take a pretty good guess." She stopped talking for a minute and rubbed her hands over face. "My ex boyfriend was lovely. Always looked out for me, always stood up for me. Until that night. We went to bed and then something happened. I think they said it was some undiagnosed heart problem or something, but I opened my eyes and I was... And he wasn't there either. He assumed he'd done something and then he took off before I knew how to tell him it wasn't his fault. He went off the rails after that. Mickey, his name was."

That's harsh.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

She remembered something Jaye had said not long after they had first met. _You said he was in prison now. He didn't hurt you, did he?_

"That's the story I heard. Millford. We lived there. I died there. And, no – to the other bit." Jaye smiled and sat back, her baby blues in a far away and happy place. "He never touched me in anger." A shadow clouded her gaze and was gone so fast Katie wondered if she had imagined it. "He was so sweet. So laidback. There were stories that he just snapped and... but he didn't. I'd know."

Really?

"Maybe," she shrugged. "I never visited him to find out."

Do you ever think you should? Just to let him know it wasn't his fault?

She shrugged. Jaye was still a kid – older than Katie, sure, but under that smiley veneer, she was still young and confused and... vulnerable. They had that in common. "The dead have issues with the living. Outside Northwood they do, anyway. There are rules." And how was Jaye meant to explain them to this girl when no-one had done the same for her?

I thought you said you died in Millford. So... how did you get to come back? It was my understanding that Northwood was the only place with that power.

"Remember when I said weird crap goes on in that town?" Jaye stood up and gestured to herself. "Say hello to the weird."

A hush fell over the pair as late afternoon faded into evening. Katie was trying to remember anything about the earlier part of the day. It didn't seem right that she was sitting her in a blood-spotted hospital gown and work boots when she had died just a handful of hours ago. The only thing she really clung to was that her friends had been there with her – where-ever there had been – had all willingly stepped into a circle and shared her pain. It had been dangerous and stupid. They had known what they were risking but they had believed in Katie – had faith that she was strong enough to survive anything. And how had she proved that faith? Katie stood up and held her hand out to Jaye who just stared at it with far away eyes. Sitting here moping was depressing. Katie felt Jaye put her hand in hers even if she couldn't _feel_ it, and jerked her head back towards the hospital. There were people in there who needed a hug more than she did.

Although the medical building was only small, the corridors seemed longer this time around... silent and stretching. There was the steady thud and squeak of Jaye's platform shoes on over-polished tiles. That was the only sound echoing – the place felt abandoned even though there was always somebody here. Jaye stopped at the door with a discreet MORTUARY sign above it. Nobody wanted the place shoved in their faces. Through the frosted glass, a few bobbing heads were silhouetted against the fluorescent lights. Adam, Dina, Marcie... the only three who had been able to come to the hospital. It seemed pitiful that there should only be a handful of people mourning a girl who had touched all their hearts. The door opened and Adam stood there with one hand on the handle and one pressing the little white pad that controlled the lock. He just stood there, staring at Katie. The only sign that anything was wrong was shaggy blond hair that was messed up from having hands constantly dragged through it. He pulled his gaze away from Katie and came to rest on Jaye, holding the door open so that she could duck under his arm. Not that much ducking was needed with over a foot in height between them.

Nobody looked at Katie when she stood in the middle of the seats her friends occupied. _They can't see me,_ she realised. _Even Adam couldn't see me. He was just trying not to look at her._

"They need to know."

"But not just yet. They'll have questions and we need to figure out some answers they'll believe."

It wasn't hard to guess that the small gang were discussing Katie's parents. Of course they had to know. Their eldest daughter had gone off to college and she was dead before the first half a term was out. It happened all over the country but not to the Cartwright family who had surely been through more than enough. Katie chewed on her bottom lip as she listened to the conversation flow around her. It was halting and forced. Talking about anything seemed to be the last thing any of them wanted to do. She wanted to scream at them to just SHUT UP THEN! but they wouldn't have heard her.

"I can't believe it," muttered Dina, rubbing sleep out of her eyes but not looking as though the doze had been very restful. "She saved my life not too long ago and I couldn't save hers. What kind of friend does that make me? What does that make any of us?"

Katie moved over to her and sank down in front of Dina, willing those sharp eyes to notice her. _D, you guys are the best friends I could have wanted. I know we didn't know each other very long and you tried to drug me when we met but... Jesus, this is hard. I want to be remembered, not mourned. Not grieved over. Because, for whatever reason, I'm still here._ She turned her attention to Marcie. Perhaps the young woman had felt the hurt most of all. She had to explain the death of Aunt Katie to her young son - a job Katie didn't envy her. Over the last couple of months Marcie had become a sort of cool aunt of her own, spending Saturday nights with her watching films and drinking wine.

"She was a really sweet girl," Marcie sobbed. No tears but her breath shuddered her every word. "Freddie thought the world of her."

"We all did."

"And now I need to go tell him. It's his birthday on Saturday. We were going to take him to the Plush Play in the shopping centre. It won't be the same..."

"I could come," Jaye offered and glanced over at Katie for her approval. It was given. "I'm not Katie but hell, at least I'm small enough to race him to the ball pit. She'd want that."

Katie felt tears beginning to warm the backs of her eyes. She blinked them away, not sure she could have cried them anyway. This moment wasn't hers. This was _about_ her, about the lives she'd left behind, and her heart was breaking. She had no right to feel this way. According to Jaye, dying had been a choice. A chink of light drifted through the far window as a shadow passed through and left the building. Daylight. Even though she had just come back inside, the sunshine felt very far away.

Marcie nodded but the accompanying smile was strained. A figure in a white coat blew through the corridor and paused at the open door to the cold room further in. He was reading something off a clipboard and trying not to meet anybody's gaze, clearly uncomfortable at having living people and vital emotions in his chamber of corpses. Powerless to resist, Katie followed some twisted desire to see her body – see what had been done to it. Every logical thought she had shrieked at her to turn around and walk away without looking back... and she believed it implicitly – looking down on her own ravaged shell could only lead to emotional meltdown. But there was something stronger than cold logic at work here. Something primal. Something possessive. It was her body and, dammit, Katie didn't want it bisected and dissected.

Once she was in the frigid air of the room with the world looking as still as her own body on the metal slab before her, the urge to run away battered at her once more. The door had swung shut behind the man in the white coat, leaving her trapped like a small animal in this place.

There was no escape.

The instant turning around to leave was cut off as an option, even that dark desire to peek under that lumpy sheet quieted. Something horrible was trapped in here with her and the man in the lab coat. Katie reached a hand out towards the white sheet, a good few feet from touching it. And she stayed like that, frozen. Unable to move forward, unable to go back. There was no way she could touch the sheet o draw it back, her hands would sink right through the cotton. Why was she on a slab in the mortuary anyway, and not tagged and slid into a chill locker? There was nothing mysterious about the way she died. No need for her to be out here to be stared at by curious medical students. Then the man in the lab coat strode over to the counter and took out a package of sterile instruments and left them on the counter as he went over to flick the blinds closed and the spotlights over the body on. He put a few things on the wheeled trolley and pushed it over to the body, ripping open a pack with a scalpel in.

What? What are you doing?

This doctor of death was going to stick that sharp knife into Katie and slice her open. What he was hoping to find inside her could be anything – maybe this was routine, maybe he had suspicions. Whatever. This was insanity. She reached out and tried to put a hand out to stop his arm moving towards her body. It fell straight through him. How could she stop him hurting her if she couldn't even touch him? He folded a sheet over her and slightly shifted his grip on the scalpel. It arced down, surgical steel glinting in harsh light. So clinical, so cold, so perfectly unemotional.

Stop it! Don't hurt me!

Her protests were doing no good. So far, only Jaye had been able to see and hear her, and she couldn't expect this man to be able to hear her thoughts at all. No matter how loud she thought.

He looked down at the pale body laid out before him and swore quietly. "So much fucking worse when it's a kid."

Fighting it all the way, Katie followed his eyes and found herself staring into her own face. She was pale – paler than she had ever seen herself but nowhere near the greyish pallor she had expected. Her eyes were closed and looked bruised and sunken. An open but bloodless cut marred one cheek. She looked... perfect. Dead people in books or on TV always came across as exhausted, ruined, broken. But not this girl. This girl would be young and pretty forever. She couldn't bring herself to take a look further down her body; her slashed legs and shoulder. The fact that they would be bloodless too was somehow worse than pools of ruby life. It meant that her flesh was truly dead.

Her body empty of blood and breath.

She was pretty much hypnotised by the cruel glint of razor sharp steel getting closer and closer to her skin.

Stop it! You can't hurt me. I'm not dead, not really. Can't you see me? I'm standing right here. Get that thing away from me!

But it kept coming. Closer and closer until it was a millimetre away from cold flesh and time seemed to freeze. Katie screwed her eyes shut and opened her mouth to scream, imagining the scalpel parting her flesh like soft fruit. _I'm not a fruit,_ she thought. Would she feel the knife cutting through her mortal body via some psychic link? Maybe she'd be sucked right back into that physical agony. Maybe her body had to be intact to maintain this ghostly version of herself. Then those musings were lost as Katie opened her eyes into utter blackness. Such a complete darkness that Katie had to raise her hands to checks she had not left her eyes closed by mistakes. No, they were most definitely open. There was just nothing to see.

She did not know how long this complete void would swallow but rather than be panicked by it, Katie stilled her bouncing feet and twitching fingers, took a deep breath (which she wasn't sure she actually needed) and tried to calmly piece together what had happened earlier today, why she was suddenly dead, whether she should be worried and what these things were Jaye had claimed she had wanted to die to do. Simple. _Yeah, even I don't believe that._ Katie bit down on her tongue, hoping the jolt would make that annoying voice shut the hell up. She didn't hold out much hope – until her mind was as surprised as her mouth at tasting very real blood there. Bits and pieces started trickling into her mind like the blood sliding down her throat. Silver bridges... eyes aflame with hate and fury... something slicing through darkness to flay skin away... and blood. White roses speckled with blood. There were always white roses, filling the air around and about with their just-too-sweet perfume. They were important though. And then a sick feeling twisted in Katie's stomach. It was a little like... she didn't know quite what but the feeling was strangely familiar, familiar like she had felt this exact same thing before. Disgust? Revulsion? Okay, so there was a feeling and some pictures. Now she had to try and put them together and find out why they had resulted in her death. The thought made her shudder. Knowing how it happened just made it all too real. And it wouldn't change anything anyway. What else could she puzzle over while she waited for some _place_ to materialise around her? Where was she right now? Well, it was an important question because she might be trapped somewhere dangerous and endless – an eternal void that would eventually erase her every memory from the outside world. And yet... although a tiny part of her was frightened of being lost forever, Katie couldn't bring herself to think of it.

_Pack it in, Katie._ Having a quiet word with yourself was a sign of going crazy, wasn't it? _You're way past that girl. Stop avoiding the issue and-_

Avoiding the issue suddenly was not an option as Katie felt herself being dragged forward; a cold weight settled in place of her nausea, squeezing and caressing her insides, pulling her forward. A thousand colours, a million scenes, all passed her by in a blur. And then the world stopped moving and she was standing on a cracked desert with a few huge rocks far in the distance. The sky rolled with silent thunderclouds of varying greys. Not a thing lived in this barren wasteland. There were no birds trying to out-pace the storm, no cacti standing tall, no footprints – however old and faded – to prove there had ever been another soul here. Not even any of the sun bleached bones cartoon deserts always had. Trying to find some sign of life Katie started wandering around but no matter how far she walked, and no matter in which direction, there were only more miles of hard packed earth. _Well, this isn't working. There's nothing out here. Nothing but air and heat and – and bad things._ She was suddenly cowering like a trapped animal, hands clasped over her head, trying to curl up as small as she could. It may well have been the middle of the day but the clouds were so heavy that it was impossible to tell. Day, night, light, dark, it didn't matter. All that filled her thoughts was the knowledge that she was completely alone out here. Alone and scared. Anything might be lurking around, ready to pounce. Katie glanced around for something to defend herself with, instinctively patting herself down as if she had something in her pockets. _Papery hospital gowns don't have pockets, eejit!_ If there was a kitchen around here somewhere... a spoon would do. Then she stopped. A breeze tickled along the back of her neck.

Jack.

The tickling sensation came again and she was almost sure it was him. Her green-eyed cowboy. The feeling was close and intimate. It felt like... fingers, a lovers' touch. And then the invisible fingers splayed themselves across her neck, circling around to run across her jawline and then to her throat.

_Jack,_ she repeated, too excited/terrified to move. Because she knew Jack was not the one touching her like she was as tough and fragile as glass. The hand was too small, too smooth, and not nearly as gentle. The hand swept over the top of her gown, tracing the ugly round neck. For one horrible moment, Katie was certain this hand was going to tighten those phantom fingers around her neck like a vice and choke the life out of her. The life she still had. The life that kept her ghost on earth. The icy touch left and Katie was dimly aware of her vision beginning to swim; to blur at the edges, like God himself was trying to rub out the world. Before darkness pulled her under, a shadow faded in, small enough to be a human boy, bent to whisper one word in her ear, and then hovered over her until her eyes slid closed. Katie gripped onto consciousness fiercely – she wasn't tired, she didn't even feel faint – but the dark shape seemed to want her to sleep. It would be rude not to.

What was the word? What was the word?

Katie drifted back into herself slowly, aware of rain thumping down on her back with enough force to bruise. Would she ever feel the dull pain of a bruised knee again? _What was the word?_ It was just static in her head when she thought of it. Far away from this place, it would come back. _I shouldn't-_

_Katie_.

Ghostly fingers brushed over the back of her hand and worked their way into her clenched fist. The Shadow Boy had come back to finish what he started – she was sure of it. But a larger part of her knew it was Jack. She gripped his invisible hand, petrified it might just disappear if she let go. _Everything disappears. Everything. Everyone._

The hand became more solid as she hunched there on the ground. The connection that let them speak to each other with their minds flared into life as he sent calming nonsense sounds to her. Immediately, Katie felt soothed. Soaked through, but soothed. She lifted her free hand and pushed wet locks out of her face before looking at her boyfriend. If he was still her boyfriend. Last time they'd been together, she had shouted at him, slapped him, then kissed another man. Only, he didn't know about the last part. But one look up at his pure green eyes, a brief flame of – of _something,_ too many emotions to identify – and he damn well knew now. Only... it wasn't enough that he knew. She needed to actually say the words, make it real so they could work through it together. Just... not yet. Not today. All in one movement, he wiggled his fingers, twisted towards a large rock that hadn't been there before, and set off jogging towards it.

It felt like miles of featureless desert to get there but the rain had softened to a drenching drizzle, although the clouds were still thick and threatening. The rock – it was definitely getting closer. _Soon._ That was it. That was what Shadow Boy had whispered. Soon what? Was something going to happen soon?

"... okay."

Katie felt the cool walls of a cave around her. No, not a cave, just a hollow between these boulders. It didn't matter. She sank against one, gratefully, ridiculously glad to have a solid wall at her back.

"Katie!"

She looked over at Jack. Sixteen years old and something over 150 at the same time. His constant companions were a Stetson and brown leather jacket. A beige tee and worn black jeans completed a look that would have been slightly bizarre on anyone else, but on Jack... he would look wrong in anything else. The perfect bullet scar in the centre of his forehead, his ocean eyes, those tender hands. Even his scars were perfect. She blurted out, "I love you," knowing it wasn't the most traditional greeting. It had to be said. If she didn't, maybe he wouldn't know. Maybe he didn't believe her.

"I know," he smiled. "Sometimes, you have to do the wrong things before you know what the right ones are. I love you, too."

"I just... I needed you to know."

"And now I do. This is my knowing face." Jack turned a thoughtful expression on her, drawing a laugh that caught the air like a jagged sob. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Of course I am. All in one piece and everything." She wanted to give him an arrogant little twirl to prove the point but didn't have the energy.

"What happened to you? Where've you been?"

He tilted his head to one side and flashed a challenge at her.

"I was in the hospital," she told him. Okay, so not telling him she had been in the hospital morgue was technically a lie. Lies by omission just didn't make her feel as guilty as outright fibbing. "And then I was here." Katie crossed her legs beneath her and sank down to the ground, pushing herself as far back against the rocks as she could. The rain was still pouring outside but the drops seemed to vanish the moment they touched the ground, leaving it as parched as before. Katie watched for a few seconds, wanting to be out in it again, getting soaked just to prove to herself it was real rain, it was not really vanishing. But she already had the wet arm. Although even that was taking on an ethereal quality – a sense of feeling wet and not actually _being_ wet. Her throat rasped as she spoke, piecing the puzzle together as she spoke. "There was a fight. Another one, but with the man who killed you. And, I know what you thought, but he wasn't your father, Jack. He killed your father and took on his image. I nearly believed him too. There was just something _off_ about him. Like he was trying too hard and he didn't really care when I told him you were missing. And then... well, I killed him but I don't really know what happened to his body, I was pretty out of it-" _understatement of the century._ Jack put a hand against the rocks and scooted up to sit next to her. He tried to take her hand and cuddle her until her shivers stopped.

"What do you mean? Slow down, Lady Katie."

She froze. "No, I need to think. You need to listen before we get back to us."

"Isn't this already about us?"

"Yes. No. This is about the us that has a job to do here, not the... other us."

"A job?"

"I'm getting to it. Eventually." She ran her burnt and scarred left hand through her hair, trying to calm it from the Bride of Frankenstein mess it had adopted. "Before he died, he said you were somewhere I'd never find you. But he also mentioned you both came from the Dead World. It wasn't really much to figure out he must have trapped you here somehow."

"He?"

"The man who killed you was pretending to be Henry Lawson."

"My father. Who died at his hand."

"I'm sorry." Katie ached to put an arm around him. A century and a half of watching mortals live and die was evidently no cushioner to finding out one of your own family was dead. Murdered. But she couldn't comfort him. _I wish it was easier. I wish I could help more. But this... this loss and fury you're feeling, I can't take that away._ And she knew what he was feeling. The complete emptiness inside had become too familiar this year. "He turned back into the sheriff when – I'm not sure he ever was a real sheriff – when he thought he had me beaten. I never had another name for him."

"Christ. Why did he come back for us?"

She shrugged. "The important thing is we work out why we're here and how to get out."

"Okay. Can we just... be together for a while first? It feels like forever since I seen you last."

Counting back, she decided it had been about three days since they had last seen each other. And their goodbye hadn't been exactly amicable. Katie had smacked him, slammed a door in his face and let her housemate lay into him with everything but knives. Yet, here he was, still reaching out to her, still trying to love her. "I was a bitch to you. I'm a bitch a lot."

"I got no problem with it. Keeps me on my toes."

"I thought I was helping. If I could make you leave, you'd be safer. Instead, he caught you and stuck you in the Dead World. "

"Not your fault, Lady Katie. I trusted myself. Thought I was big enough and ugly enough to protect myself, here _or_ there." No question where there was. The mortal world.

The one neither of them belonged to any more.

But Katie, nevertheless, had to get back there. Something important was waiting for her. She lifted her burnt hand and traced her fingertips over his jawbone. Every line and curve. Something deep in her soul trembled at the contact, feeling exposed and vulnerable in the paper thin gown and little else. The rest of her body stop shaking in the very instant the storm stopped and pale sun broke the cloud. She let her tense form relax against him. They were both ghosts of their former selves but, somehow, in the Dead World they were alive to each other. She could hear his heart beat and his breath whisper past perfect lips as well as she had ever done back home. It felt wrong. They were in the world of the dead – everything should be darkness and shadows. Trying to dispute the impossible perfection of the moment was just stupid. Relax and enjoy being with Jack was what she should do. So why did her mouth keep making noises? "You're going to hate me when I tell you."

"Tell me what? I love you, Lady Katie. More than ever now I know you tried to save me." He took the hand away from his face and blew a kiss onto the scarred palm. Then he rubbed a thumb over the cut on her cheek and down her bare neck to the slash across her shoulder. Those were the only scars he could see so far. "And what it cost you. You could never say anything to make me hate you."

"Promise me. Hand on heart, you'll always love me... even when I make stupid decisions."

"I know everything you've done, Katie." He slid her hand up to cover his heart and covered it with his own. "Do you feel that?" She nodded and he then put her other hand over her own heart. "How about that?" She frowned, unsure what she should be noticing then gasped as she felt it. Their hearts were pulsing in perfect sync with each other.

"What the hell?"

"Don't panic. We share a heart beat. Do you know how rare that is?"

"What does it mean?"

"Mostly that I love you enough to make you a part of me. I know you let the darkness take you over, I know you killed that man and you shouldn't be guilty. I know you did everything in your power to resist. I also know none of this is making any difference, is it?"

"I gave up everything and now..."

He shuffled closer and pulled the pretty girl towards him, stroking her hair as she buried her head in his chest. "It's okay. You're safe now. You're safe with me." But he suspected that wasn't the entire truth. He glanced around for any approaching threats but soon pushed the concern into the back of his mind as his love nestled her head further into his clothes and making him tingle at her closeness. She was tired. Too tired to sleep. Too tired to be much good at anything until she had slept and got some proper rest. Jack would hold her until her eyes closed and her breath became deep and even.

The first soft waves of sleep washed over Katie. All the things she should be trying to fix were floating further and further away. And she didn't care.

Katie lifted brown eyes to his and searched his face. His face was just a breath away

Jack, I don't want to forget.

How _could_ she forget the instant his lips touched hers? A kiss that was gone in a heart beat. _This isn't your world. Normal rules don't apply here._

Really? No more rules and restrictions? We can be together?

He slid down until he was lying on the uncomfortable ground, half in the shade of the rock and half in the sunlight. Katie tugged the laces on her boots but they were stuck tight so she closed her eyes and visualised them untied, off her feet and neatly lined up in the shadows. And then her feet were bare and hard mud and sand were pressing between her toes. She was determined to make the most of every last feeling and sensation because each one might be her last. Any moment, she might be dragged back to the real world – boy, it was really something when Northwood was a reality check – and have to become some kind of weird half-person. _I'll only ever be half alive._

"I wonder how you crossed the barrier?" Jack mused as Katie settled down beside him, draped one arm across his chest.

"I died."

He struggled up onto his elbows and his eyes went wide.

"I didn't mean to. Well, I don't think I did. Actually that's not true. My friends tried to revive me while there was still a chance but I wouldn't let them. I know it was an insane thing to do but I don't regret it." She pushed it back down to the ground and laid her head his shoulder. "Because then we wouldn't have this."

"If you go now, go straight home, maybe they can still bring you back."

Katie shook her head. There was no chance Jaye or any of the others could bring her back. She wasn't completely sure she would want them to. "I have to do something." Her head was beginning to ache. Painkillers hadn't fixed it last time she had felt this way – felt this sudden detachment from her body, brain processing the violations of her body like an impartial observer. Time hadn't healed all wounds although, admittedly, these strange sensory flashbacks were getting less frequent.

"Hey." Strong arms rose around Katie and rested lightly on her shoulders. It was a pointless exercise to get too close when she was locked in a memory because she would simply freeze up and freeze him out. Although her eyes might recognise a friendly face, body and mind associated contact with threat and attack. "You're safe now. No-one's gonna hurt you with me around."

"It's a bit late for that, Jack. You weren't there when I needed you." Oh, she knew it was not his fault. He couldn't have come to help even if he had known she needed him. And what could he have actually done to stop her death from happening? But she couldn't stop a little flash of anger that he could have at least made this all easier. "Everyone else was there and... I hurt them all. And you get away scot free."

"If I could have found a way outta here... If there was any other choice, I wouldn't leave your side for a minute."

But Katie was far away and remembering _green I was pushed onto green and then I couldn't breathe because of the hand I bit it bit the hand hard there was blood he ripped my clothes and hurt me but I remember the blood the blood it must have scarred._ She felt a weight on her shoulders and went rigid beneath it, automatically throwing herself into a defensive mode. Then she saw it was only Jack and relaxed, head bowed and sobbing out tears she couldn't find. "I think I'm trapped here until I figure out what it is I'm meant to do."

He hated not being able to help her. Jack rested his hand on her shoulder for a few more minutes and then let it slide down to the small of her back, gently guiding her back into his embrace. She didn't fight him. "It's not as bad as all that."

"It's terrible! I'm only 16 and I'm dead. Do you remember how it felt to realise you've lost all your friends – lost them forever. You'll never get another chance to do those mad things you were never brave enough to do in life. I'll never get my chance to run in the big championships and win medals or...or just work my backside off to pay the bills. Because I'm stuck here. Maybe just today. Maybe it's forever."

She fastened her arms around his neck and brought his face to hers with her finger.

_You didn't mention your family._ He couldn't say it out loud. She was forgetting them already...

"You understand why I have to go back, right? I have things to do." And why couldn't he come back with her now? There was nothing left to scare him into staying.

I'm not scared. I just... this is my world now. I have to be here.

Katie twisted her head a little more and her lips found his, a hungry kiss of two young people who had been apart for too long. For weeks, their physical contact had been stolen nights in each others arms and minds. Kissing had been strictly off-limits. So she was determined to make this one to remember. One to sustain her through the lonely nights and endless days, through the cold winter and an autumn that would chill her to the bone.

Katie thought of her cosy little room at home, of all her friends' smiling faces, of those smiles lighting a darkness reserved for hate and agony and suffering. She thought of a full sports scholarship gone to waste, of a job being handed to some other girl with a cute bum and a willingness to clean toilets, of how the clothes in her wardrobe would never get worn again. Of how she would never get to run holes into those new trainers and of how perfectly happy she was pounding asphalt on the track, of how the sun had shone as Roy had died caring for the kids on that track. Mostly, Katie thought of how she had vowed never to be a victim again.

Helpless.

Defenceless.

Victim.

Her eyes started to slide shut as Jack thumbed the sleeve of the hospital gown off of her left shoulder, then her right. Katie held her breath trying to recall if she had a bra on – she couldn't feel straps cutting into the tender, broken skin. Then she felt fabric scratching her chest – the doctors must have cut the straps off. He kissed the hollows between her shoulder bones and Katie bit her lip.

"Please. Please stop."

He didn't.

"Jack, I can't. I can't have you once and risk never touching you again."

"You did this for me, remember?" he murmured against her skin. "You took my scars and made my memories of pain into moments of pleasure."

"I was really horny," she said, knowing that plea would never hold up in court.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. God, yes.

"'Cos I'm not gonna." And he didn't. He peeled back each section of the paper gown, kissed, stroked, nibbled every scar or blemish he found under it, and tied it neatly back into place when he was done. Then he planted a kiss on Katie's forehead and bunched up his jacket for her to us as a pillow. "I won't do anything else. I know when to stop, when it's too much. I just wanted you to know."

"I still love you too."

"I'm glad. Now, sleep, Lady Katie." He crouched down by her head and brushed her hair behind her ears. "Sweet dreams." But her eyes were closed and she seemed halfway to Dreamville already. As he moved to lie down beside her, Katie squeezed his hand in that panicked way of hers.

"Will you still be here in the morning?"

As time wore on, something dark and dangerous crept across the world. Something thick and constant and searching for souls. Fragmented souls. Essences displaced – spirits that were weak and broken. It would pick them off; take hold of those splintered spirits and turn a crack onto a chasm. It has burst people wide open before,, had made them quiver with fear but to scared to run away. Not that there was anywhere to go in the Dead World. Nowhere to hide.

_It was a lonely place to spend forever. And nobody,_ nobody, _would change it._

# Chapter two

When Katie opened her eyes she went into an immediate panic. There was no arm slung lazily over her waist and no solid wall of muscle pressed against her back. Nor was there the cool shadow of a rocky ceiling, or even the unrelenting and arid desert. There was, however, a dizzying dance behind her eyelids when she closed her eyes and tried to wish herself back into his arms.

"Jack," she whispered, but her voice sounded too loud and it hurt to speak. Even the air seemed too heavy. It was pressing down on the soft tissues, the delicate muscles in her throat. "Jack."

"He's not here, babe."

Katie shot up and darted her eyes around a rectangular room with cream walls and a jumble of papers and photos stuck higgledy piggledy over them before coming to rest on the person speaking to her from the swivel chair in front of the desk. A tiny girl sat there with her feet barely reaching the floor. Short black hair was scraped back tightly under a red hairband and miniscule strawberry blonde roots complimented her pale face.

"Why do you dye your hair?"

Jaye flicked her fingers under the elasticated band and shrugged. "Don't speak yet."

"I'm fine. I mean, I feel like I've got a monster sore throat but otherwise... fine."

"Honestly?" Katie drew a cross over her heart. "It usually takes a while to get used to your new body."

"It's not really a body though. Is it? I don't feel anything- I just think I do."

"Where've you been? I know you went away for a while because you went into the... other room with the doctor, and you didn't come back out."

Katie scooted up the bed to give her friend some room to sit down. She didn't know how much she should say about her night with Jack, about her version of the Dead World, about thinking she had to do something before she could move on.

"Like what?"

It wasn't until then that she remembered Jaye could now pluck the words right out of her head.

You'll learn to control it soon enough. Right now you're too raw and open. You can't build a wall against me because you're still in transition. You're a ghost.

"So are you," Katie replied indignantly. It was one thing to _be_ a ghost, it was another to have people reminding you of that fact at every turn. And she had a feeling this was only the beginning.

"Not exactly. See, a Shade is somewhere between you and what you used to be."

"Oh. A different shade of human."

"Poetic."

Katie concentrated on the dainty, smiling face in front of her. The baby blue eyes and pixie nose. The jagged creamy teeth and determined set of her jaw. If she fixed on one face for long enough, maybe she would stop missing all the others. For however long she was stuck like this, nobody else would see her. Nobody would hear her or speak to her. Katie could wander through their lives, watching and wishing, changing everything, and they wouldn't even know she was there. "You're crying," she told Jaye.

_If you'd just heard what I did, you would cry too._ She made no move to dry her eyes. "You said you had to do something again. Before you could move on."

"Uh-huh. I saw Jack. He's trapped in the Dead World."

"You think you have to get him back?"

"I don't know. You told me I made you let me go for a reason. Maybe it was that."

"But you didn't even know where he was. It can't have been that."

Katie swung her legs down and walked over to her wardrobe to look for some proper clothes, suddenly feeling ashamed of her near-nakedness. Her hand passed straight through the handle. She tried a few more times and then glared at Jaye who couldn't stop herself giggling. "Well, you do it, genius."

Without so much as a hesitation, Jaye yanked the door open and started pawing through the clothes on hangers, looking at them with something like disappointment. There really wasn't much choice – practical clothes that were built to last; jeans, jackets and a load of lightweight gym outfits.

"But I was solid in the Dead World. I could touch things."

"Normal rules don't apply," she said and Katie immediately thought about Jack- had he woken up and found himself alone? Was he dashing around trying to find her? Or, more importantly, trying to get her back? "Here." Jaye picked out a yellow tennis dress with a sparkly rainbow design over the straps and laid it out on the bed. "It might be easier for you to dress yourself if you can actually see what you're trying to put on."

"A dress? It's single figures out there."

"You'll just have to learn to beat the cold then."

Katie impetuously stuck her tongue out at her friend, which she promptly returned with interest, and frowned at the summery garment. She knew Jaye wasn't really being mean when she chose a thin piece of clothing. Knew that she was trying to help her learn to stop feeling things. Sooner or later, things would get easier. Dying was bound to shake anyone up, and she was well and truly shaken. The world might be in flames outside her small room, might have stopped turning or imploded because she had not been around to stop it. Katie flicked one eye up and looked out of her window at a cloud-streaked blue sky and the silhouette of Levenson Academy for Sport and Action – exactly the same as she had left it... how long ago? The day to day calendar on the desk was open at Tuesday the 19th of October but that didn't mean anything, did it. Changing a dead girl's date pad probably seemed a bit pointless. The computer! That would give her the date and time! If she could only touch it to turn it on.

"It's Tuesday."

Katie raised her eyebrows.

"Same year. Same week, day, whatever. Same everything. You've been dead for precisely..." Jaye glanced at her watch and stuck her tongue out the corner of her mouth in an unbelievably cute way as she tried to count back the hours. "Precisely four hours and twenty two minutes."

So the storm and falling asleep in his arms..? Even though it had felt like an entire day and night, and she felt as refreshed as she did after a solid nine hours sleep, it had all passed in the blink of an eye? Time worked differently in the mortal world and the ones belonging to the dead – presumably, when you had forever to fill, nobody wanted it to actually _feel_ like forever. Katie could not decide how she felt about the world not noticing she was no longer part of it so she concentrated on getting the dress onto her strange new body. "So..." A tense silence crept through the room. "It's not long."

Jaye looked away. She was inches away from a breakdown herself and only knowing that Katie was in need of her help was holding it together. She was upset that her friend had died, even more upset that she had come back and had to learn all these new things, upset that _dammit_ the kid hadn't even finished going through puberty yet. "You know we tried. None of us... we didn't want to lose you."

"Jaye, look at me. You're not getting rid of me that easily. While there are still things I need to put right – whatever they may be – you're stuck with me."

"I love you, babe. I love you and Dina like sisters. If I could have died instead of you..." She left the sentiment unfinished but they both knew where it would have ended. The impossibility of it just weakened very barely controlled emotions.

"Right," coughed Katie, turning away from the cuddle she so badly wanted and knew she couldn't have. "Let's see if I can get some clothes on."

The door creaked open just as Katie had thought herself into the yellow dress and a pair of cream pumps. She'd worn them most of the summer and to college a few times when she'd been in too much of a rush to bother with lace up trainers, so they were easy to conjure from under her bed. It was easier to think of it as a magic trick. The things she thought of weren't mystical, they didn't appear out of thin air – no, they were in a particular place and she just moved them to a different place. Okay you had to substitute sleight of hand for the power of her mind but hey.

Both girls glanced at the door as a tear-streaked faced poked through the gap. "Hey," it sniffled. The door swung a few inches wider and a pale arm with a square of white bandage taped to its' upper portion slid it further open, dragging past the outfits Jaye had discarded on her hunt. "What are you doing up here?"

It took Katie a long minute to recognise this grieving mess as Dina. At the hospital, she had been an exhausted, unkempt thing but now, now she seemed hardly human. "D!" she screamed and threw herself at her, remembering too late that Dina couldn't catch her and crashing to the landing floor.

It did not hurt.

From her place sitting on the floor, she sat to listen in to what they wee saying.

"Taking a look at her things. It's still Katie's room and these things are everything she was. They're all so new..."

"Untouched. Just like she was."

Katie frowned and wondered what Dina meant. With everything she had seen and done, how could she possibly be clean again? Maybe Jaye picked up that haze of confusion. Maybe she was confused all by herself. But she asked the question anyway.

"You know, the way things would all go wrong for her or one of us and she'd just be like 'it happened. I mean, it's oh shit it happened but it's still gone tits up so how do we make it right.' She just kept moving. You know what I mean?"

Jaye nodded. Tears were glittering in her eyes and Jaye didn't want to wish them away. She wanted to weep and scream and put her fist through something.

"I miss Katie already. She saved my life."

"She saved us all, D." She walked over to the desk and casually mussed her hand over the papers she had there. "What are you doing to her wall?"

Katie craned her head around the door frame just in time to see Dina use a red drawing pin to tack a tarot card to the wall between a couple of running certificates. Katie remembered an old makeup bag she had left in her coat at the club where she had died. The bag had contained a compact with a silver badge in – she absently flexed her scarred left hand, vaguely aware it should be stinging like crazy and wasn't – two tarot cards and a crystal. One tarot card had been burnt in an impossible fire underwater and the other was here being pinned to a wall. The card bore the legend HIGH PRIESTESS and showed a pen and ink drawing of a woman looking like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

_Ask about the crystal,_ Katie mentally shouted. Why on earth was she bothered about a purple chip of rock?

"There was a crystal. Did you find it?"

Dina nodded her head and bit her lip. "She's not coming back, is she? It was too soon. I know she knew but... she won't, will she?"

"I don't know, babe."

They dissolved into tears and each others arms but Katie couldn't watch any more. She took herself off to sit on the stairs and think.

What could she possibly have to do here before she could pass on? Katie thought about the End Place and that terrifying cliff lined with the spirits of all those who died too soon. To save a friend from being pushed off that cliff, she had travelled there and found a million or more dark shapes just waiting for their turn to fall from the edge and go to the Other Place – heaven, hell, gravel and soil, a large expanse of nothing, whatever you believed in. Katie didn't know if she believed in anything like that. Those couple of days had shaken her up completely. Things had happened there... A girl – well, something that claimed to be female – was waiting for her... No, Katie had to figure out what she was supposed to do and avoid it altogether.

"This is so messed up," she muttered into her knees. Until that moment, Katie hadn't even realised she had backed into the wall and curled into the tightest, most inoffensive ball possible. "I don't even know who else can see me. How am I meant to do anything with no body?"

Suck it up soldier.

The army sergeant voice she always brought to life when she felt like crawling down a deep hole and never coming out until the world stopped spinning chirped a wake up call in her head. Katie hadn't created this matter of fact, no nonsense, doesn't know the meaning of can't voice until about seven months ago when she had been raped. It had been this voice that had got her through hours of questioning and counselling without crying, this which had distracted her from the brutal examination the police doctor had put her through, which had made her get up, put on her uniform and go to school the following day. And she had taken its' advice when it told her to get out of Worth – take the first opportunity that arose to leave behind the town that had birthed her, raised her, and killed the first little piece of her.

You know what you have to do. Now, step to it, girl.

But Katie had no idea what she needed to do. Still, Sergeant Voice was right, as usual. Hanging around here and moping was only going to make her sadder. If she got up and started doing _some_ thing then maybe an epiphany would strike. It seemed unlikely to say the least but stranger things had happened.

The two older girls had left her room by the time Katie went back in. She sat down before her laptop and blinked hard. Telling herself to get her shit together didn't make it any easier. She thought of Jack. She didn't even know how to get back to him and that gave her an empty feeling somewhere deep inside – a place her living body had never had. Not being able to see him or speak to him hurt worse than- wait. Maybe seeing him, touching him and feeling his hand in hers as they ran for the borders together. _Borders? Borders of frikkin' what girl?_ Maybe that was impossible. It had been sheer luck last time. Speaking to Jack though... that was entirely doable. All she needed to do was figure out what she wanted to say to him and then send the words through that invisible mind link that tied them together.

What was happening to him? Was he missing her? Was he in his own version of the Dead World and safe, if lonely and alone? Was he happy and blissfully ignorant that her life was in turmoil?

Oh Katie, you have no idea how wrong you are.

_Excuse me?_ She coughed at the unexpected mental intrusion, first pissed off at him for touching her mind from where-ever he was and then guilty that she had let a moment of anger in at all. Where-ever Jack was, he was stuck there, right? Trapped.

There's something terrible in this world. It's everywhere I turn.

_Jack, I want to come back with you. I don't belong in this place any more._ It made Katie ache to admit but the truth always hurt when a lie would be so easy. There was too much life in town. Too much life she remembered. Too much she would never get to live.

Stay where you are.

You don't want me to be with you?

There was the slightest hesitation. _No._

Hot tears flamed behind her eyes, damply cursing Katie for not being able to let them fall. Jaye, Lainy, all the other Shades could cry real tears. But then they had bodies. Just like Jack had a body. A young, muscled, perfect body. Peppered with scars and calluses, it was beyond beautiful – it was the simple result of hard work and not much play. And for the past six weeks or so, it had been _hers_. She tried to imagine Jack saying that one word. _No._ All the things that one word might mean – he didn't want her, didn't love her.

_No!_ He sent the word at her again. The fear and negativity in Lady Katie's pretty head was, even at this distance, battering at his defences. _How can you even think I don't want you? If it was safe, I'd find a way to get you back here before your next breath... but that'd be selfish. And really, really dumb._

What do you mean?

It's not... you're better off where you are. You have to trust me on this.

_I do._ She just wasn't sure that she should. _What do you mean, if it was safe?_ A thousand thoughts flashed through her mind, too rapid to bring even one into sharp focus; the feeling of vague but thickening dread only grew. Then his voice came floating back to her, so low it was hardly a whisper.

_It'd be dangerous for you. Hell, it's not great for me but you...no. I can't let you through._ If she could only have known that he was trying to protect her... she probably would have smacked him again. _You'd only stay here and you need to do something before you can belong to this world. I love you, Lady Katie. In case I never-_

And then he was gone. Cut off mid-sentence like a lovers phone call rudely disrupted when his credit runs out. What was there to do? A few outstanding pieces of homework, a stack of crumpled clothes that needed ironing again. _Thanks Jaye!_

_Welcome!_ Jaye psychically yelled back from her own room.

How could Jaye be so damn cheerful? Her life was over too. Okay she'd had a bit more time to get used to it, but only nine months if her calculations were correct, and had had a couple of years more to do what she wanted with life but still. Over the last couple of months, Katie had started to accept the idea of death and dying young and it had stopped being so frightening because she would come back to her old life and everything would go right back to normal. But now she _had_ died and _had_ come back, if slightly less solid than imagined, and it wasn't normal. Not normal at all.

The world seemed suddenly huge yet absolutely minute.

_This is where I fit in. Where I belong._ Why couldn't she make herself believe it? The clock on her bedside cabinet read out 6.10 in glowing green digits. It felt as though time was slowing down, was practically crawling. Or maybe the whole _time works differently here_ applied to people whose souls apparently didn't realise they were dead, no matter what world they were in. Maybe she was moving too fast for time to catch up. Katie glanced up and then rose to examine the photos pinned to her walls; her with a dirt-streaked girl who had her eyes, a sweat shiny Katie on the finish line of a racetrack and dangling a gold medal around her neck, a snap of the two girls and two older people all huddled under a dripping umbrella. She remembered that day. It had been a holiday in Wales and Dad had insisted it would be fantastic fun to go camping for a few days. Even the memory of cold nights and finding worms in her wellies made her shudder. _Never again._ She shivered and imagined herself easily into her brown fleece jacket. The autumn was fast turning to winter and the chill was sharp. Zipped up snugly, Katie brushed her fingers over the family photos. Her mother, father, younger sister. Related in name and nature. Why didn't she feel more than a far away stirring of nostalgia in her gut? Surely there should be the pressure of blood calling to blood, a soul crying to go home and say goodbye. There was none of that. It wasn't until she moved to the recent pictures of her new family here in Northwood that the trembling in her fingers stopped being from the cold and started being about a longing for home.

Closing her open hands into fists, Katie held herself back from punching the wall in frustration.

She felt helpless.

It was a horrible feeling. Helpless meant weak and vulnerable; it meant somebody could overpower her with a word or a whip, it meant- a whip? Her hands flew to the deep lash across her left shoulder, covered by the strap of her dress, but she couldn't forget it was there, couldn't forget the whip that had made it. Her arms, legs, God even her face, were marked with the scars of a whip powered with irrational hate and brute strength. _You were strong to stand up to him. You were strong twice against the man with eyes of fury. You can do it again._ And she cussed out Sergeant Voice for being right again. But this was too gentle to be the sergeant. This was...this was... Impossible as she knew it was, Katie could have sworn the voice belonged to Dina.

# Chapter three

It was all happening to another person. This figure far below Katie, pushing its body to the very limits – it was someone else. And yet it was her, unmistakeably her at the same time. Sea green eyes, hair the colour of sand, boy's clothes, the smooth leather glimmering in the sun. Jack.

Jack was running like his life depended on it.

Desert stretched on further than the eye could see and only the occasional scattering of rocks broke up the barren landscape. Not that any of them were big enough to lean against to rest for a minute – just a minute – or use as shelter from the relentless sun. So he didn't stop, didn't dare pause even to breathe unless that... that shadow thing caught him. His muscles were heavy with lactic acid, pleading with him to take on more oxygen before they, and possibly a major organ or two, failed. But he couldn't stop to give himself what he needed. If he stood still now and let it get him the last century and a half would have been for nothing. And that – maybe Lady Katie's dog with a bone attitude had started to rub off on him – would just be nuts. What was the point in fighting for your life if you were just going to give it all up when the going got rough? He grinned and thought of her voice, edged with slight anger and exasperation, telling him he better not leave her forever. And then he recalled how badly he'd wanted to do something more than hold her hand and watch as she cried her heart out over one thing or another. He couldn't bear being the cause of any more of those tears, couldn't stand not being there to kiss them all away.

So he would run. Until his legs crumbled beneath him Jack would run, and after that he would crawl. Until his skin began to peel and flake under the sun Jack would eat up the acres, and after that he would ignore his bones becoming ash. Until his lungs collapsed and his heart stopped beating Jack would push himself further, and after that he would die thinking of her.

_He risked a glance behind him and saw nothing but endless miles of cracked desert. Miles of burnished brown soil._ The colour of dead blood. _It wasn't a pleasant image he created for himself but it had the desired effect. There was no sign of the Shadow on the horizon. It didn't mean it wasn't there though... somewhere. It hid. It was a tricksy little thing, it was. The Shadow was – if you stood in one place for too long, it snuck up on you. It was faster than thoughts and could cover miles in the Dead World before its prey could blink._

But the darkness in the still air. The heavy, hundred degree heat. The sky that needed no cloud to feel evil and ominous. They all but proved that something horrible was lurking here, just waiting for Jack to make a mistake to rush in and take its prize. He spent a precious few seconds breathing as fast and deep as he could, trying to infuse his blood with as much oxygen as possible to keep his body co-operating for the next stage. Then he calmed himself enough that he would feel the dark shadow creeping closer over the desert.

There it was.

Katie slammed her eyes open and shuddered. _Holy crap! That's new._ Since when had she been able to feel what other people felt? Dreaming about other people – that was not so weird but being able to see everything they were doing, experience everything they were? It tipped the insane scale to _section me now._

Eager to forget this new experience, she imagined her phone into a pocket (she'd figure out how to dial it later if she needed it) and walked towards the door. It had been left open just enough for her to squeeze through and she passed Leo's open door a few steps further down the landing. A quick peek. Sneaking a look at a person when you knew they couldn't see you had this irresistible kind of pull to it. And there was certainly enough still to learn about the young man. But he was not doing anything interesting – just playing a silent computer game with a tight, fierce look on his face. Every so often, he would flinch away from something on the screen of his computer and Katie turned to walk on. Then she remembered something and backtracked. Leo had been facing her so she should have seen the reflection of a video game on his face. And there hadn't been one. She entered his room, all at once comforted and a bit freaked out by the posters of dragons breathing fire and naked women with impossible breasts kneeling before a dark totem. Some of these pictures, she recalled, he drew himself. This kind of twisted fantasy art... it just didn't fit with the religion he was so defensive of.

She stood right in front of him, beside the monitor, and hoped for a bizarre second when his dark gaze flicked away from the screen that he somehow knew she was there. And then his fingers went back to working the buttons on his game controller.

Without ever meaning to, Katie dropped into his thoughts.

Jesus Christ, God, anyone who's out there.

Keep her safe okay? I know we can't have her back. I know you have something else planned for her and that I was never a part of it but I didn't hurt her. And if I did, I didn't mean to.

I thought... after my mom... it was what you wanted. If I could put this distance between myself and everyone else. The kid I used to be. You know, I stopped being young and stupid and I locked him away, I made myself grow up. If I stopped wanting impossible things then I'd never again be responsible when they didn't happen.

Katie raised her hands to her ears as though it would keep the words from drifting into her mind. She felt acutely uncomfortable listening to this private prayer. It was too tempting not to listen to a little bit more.

If I stopped wanting things, wanting people, then it wouldn't hurt when I couldn't have them. But now I get it. I don't like it but I get it. People get hurt whether I'm there or not.

So just... whatever happens now, where-ever she goes – make sure she gets there okay.

It was over.

She stood there for a moment, and a final thought floated to her – a breath of regret.

I should have tried harder.

"Leo. You have to forgive yourself," she whispered. Maybe in some unconscious part of his brain maybe he _could_ hear or understand her. "If you don't do it, how do you expect God to?" In just a handful of sentences, she had a whole new appreciation for his religion. Not that organised faith made much sense to her still, but for Leo, Christianity wasn't just a curtain to hide behind or something to pick a fight over. It was something he had turned to in order to find his place in the world and he clearly had a deeply personal relationship with the Almighty.

And as long as he had something to believe in he'd b okay.

"Okay," he said. "Okay. I can do that."

Was he...?

No, he couldn't be hearing her.

Katie did an embarrassing little song and dance routine and watched his face closely. No sign that he realised anything odd was going on. In fact, his face seemed even harder set than before. There was something heart breaking about knowing there was no way she could remedy the situation. So Katie did the only thing she could think of. If talking to him was out of the question then the least she could do was take the pain away. She kissed him. Just a gentle brush of her lips on his, so light neither of them really knew it was happening but Leo shivered. Goosebumps popped up on his arms and Katie noticed a smear of blood soaking through the right sleeve of his white t-shirt. Leo rubbed his other hand over it and bit his lower lip as if it still stung. Perhaps it did – Katie could no longer feel any of her own wounds. The realisation both thrilled and worried her.

For half a breath, she stood between Leo and the screen, not knowing if she could cast a shadow and then decided she needed to go walk this stress off.

That was how she came to be wandering the darkening streets. There was the burnt out carcass of the tattoo shop – a gutted skeleton of beams and chunks of brick. A psychic called Mademoiselle Romani had given her a reading in a back room and less than 24 hours later, she was dead and the place was being brought to the ground leaving Katie with bad memories, a certainty the fire had been an attempt on her own life, and a new pet goldfish. Further along the row of dilapidated businesses was the garage where her friend Marcie had been half hidden under a rust coloured Mustang. Katie reached the sign which named the street as PENNITON ROW and turned back. Familiar landmarks crowded her. The corner shop where she had first really gotten to know Jaye, the community centre where Adam taught self defence, the primary school where Freddie spent his days waiting for the weekend to go out with his mother and Aunt Katie. Returning to the residential areas, she noted the old houses that resembled her own, and how they suddenly had a completely different aura to the newer builds. Then into the more northern part of town where most of the academy buildings were based. The student medical centre which housed her dead body, the sports stadium with professionally laid track and competition standard equipment. Not quite Olympic, or even European Championship standard but by far the best athletics arena Katie had ever seen. She turned into it, grateful that it was late enough to be practically deserted but early enough to still be open. Breaking and entering certainly wouldn't get her into heaven. Not if she really was being judged.

"Ugh, I need to be drunk before we start this shit," she muttered, deciding being dead rendered the legal drinking age redundant.

The stadium was one of the few places she felt absolutely at peace – where Katie felt like she could drop every wall and shield she had erected to stop the world hurting her and simply run. A few laps now would probably do her good. Clear the cobwebs.

How many times had she been attacked here? Too many times to count really. The physical attacks had all come in nightmares and daydreams. But emotional assaults – learning her boyfriend was nothing more than stolen energy and tangible echoes, hearing Dina had tried to slash her wrists, running herself into a coma of exhaustion – yes, all of that had been frighteningly real. Recent memories ganged up on her, all trying to be the most horrific, all jostling to the front of her mind. But there was one memory that beat them all. An attack she had been suffering the effects of for months.

The bruises had lasted a few weeks. The bleeding had stopped by the morning. The deep ache had faded with time. Putting almost two hundred miles between her and the park back in Worth had helped. Leaving all that horror behind her this August hadn't made the hurt go away though. It was easy to say the word rape. It was easy to accept that it had happened to her. Because Katie wasn't the same girl who had suffered through it.

Katie stopped running and automatically imagined up a towel to wipe her face. Then realisation struck home hard. The beige towel was unnecessary because she didn't have any sweat to wipe off. Furiously swallowing down the soul-cracking sob that stuck in her throat, she scrunched the towel up and slung it around her neck, reeling in the fresh, fluffy material, glad that she could still feel _something._ Even if it was mostly her mind tricking her. Imagining things into her hands was already second nature. All it required was thinking about something physical and bingo – there it was. Walking back through the grounds, a voice called her name. Lost in her new ability, it took Katie a second or two to realise they were calling her name.

"Evenin' Miss Katie!"

She turned toward the voice. "Roy? You can see me?" Another few moments before it all clicked. "Of course you can. You're a Shade now."

The elderly man with mad scientist white hair stood up and squinted at her. "But you're not. Something went wrong."

"Long story. When did you come back?" Katie had been at the hospital last Saturday when Roy had been rushed in after suffering a massive heart attack. She had comforted his wife as she lost herself to the first waves of grief. She had helped clear his office of a few things when nobody had banked on Roy coming back. Without being too harsh about it Roy was old. It was more than likely that his best years were behind him and that he would simply be sent to the End Place. _Or the Dead World._ Katie shivered again. The End Place was for those who died too young; not for men like Roy, who had lived a long and hopefully happy life. It had been just a few days but it had seemed so long since his death that returning to the mortal world had seemed impossible and his wife, Bernice, hadn't given up. She hadn't been so bold as to voice her wishes, and had begun to mourn as anyone would mourn a late husband, but nor had she really broken down and begged for one more day together. It just hadn't happened like that. And now, looking at the WELCOME BACK cards pinned to his little cork board, Katie could see why his return had taken so long. He took care of the students on campus and they cared about him back. Dozens of printed flaps of cardboard and scribbled pieces of paper proved that. So what if Roy was getting on a bit? There was not a single one who could take his place.

"You went done got yourself killed. Now you're..." he shrugged.

"More flash fiction than novel." Katie rested her folded arms on his window sill. "You must be glad to be back?"

His smile faltered for a heartbeat. "Sure am. I thought I were a goner, Miss Katie. Never see all your smiling faces again."

"Roy." It came out croaky and Katie wondered if Jaye was right. Getting used to speaking normally was going to take some getting used to. _Psychic speaking's so much easier._

But it feels like cheatin', Miss Katie. We're in the mortal world. S'only polite to play by their rules.

"You're hiding something, Roy. I can tell things about you that other people miss. And you're not telling me everything."

"How can you tell?"

It was her turn to shrug. It was a good way of lying – she really didn't have any knowledge other people lacked, just the 'give a crap' attitude to pursue problems... usually. But now she had him. By not denying it, Roy had as good as confirmed something was amiss. "You wanted to stay dead, is that it? You didn't want to come back." The thought was somehow shocking but not surprising. Roy had worked his life out and then he'd just been mercilessly dragged back to carry on.

"That's the opposite. I couldn't bear thinking of my poor Bernice left here all alone. If she had to live her final years without me...well, I reckons it'd kill her quicker."

"So, why the sad face?"

"Guess I were scared. Haven't been home."

"In case she doesn't want you now?" _Suck it up, soldier._ She gave Sergeant Voice a swift kick in the shins to shut it up. This was neither the time nor the place for the tact of a man on sodium pentothal. _God, Roy, if you'd seen her face that weekend, you'd be round there like a bullet. She wants to spend those last years at your side. She wants to know you're back and that she can stop worrying she's lost you forever._

"Mayhap I'll go home tonight. You're a sweet girl." He leaned over to smooth her hair down, frowning when he touched her. _Even if there is something wrong._

_Shades can touch me but I feel weird, I know. I'm not solid, you know, I'm... energy?_ That sounded about right. _And you can only touch me because you are too._ And it simultaneously sounded so far out that Katie couldn't believe she'd even thought it.

Not really what I meant. Something else.

_Else?_ Her eyes held the question but Roy thought they held the answer as well. Pointing, he said, "I can see it. Where you come from. It's gonna pull you right back. You can't stay here."

"I'll...." Katie took a deep breath, her head already spinning. Visions were slamming into her brain. Could ghosts faint?

"You'll go home. It's getting late. It's not safe for a pretty girl like you round here after dark." Katie opened her mouth to protest. "Now, now, I still worry about you like my granddaughter. Can get hurt or not, you should be inside."

"Staring at the same four walls was driving me crackers."

"You need to go home, Miss Katie. And I needs to lock up."

The pair said their goodbyes and parted company.

Thinking about home brought her back to the old house on Newton Street. Lainy, Adam, Dina, Jaye, Leo – they were her family of choice. Where-ever they were was where her home was.

Only...

Only her _real_ home was the house she had grown up in, the people she had spent 16 years getting to know and love, where she had started to become the person she was now. Which was quite a good person, in all honesty. If she could just see her blood kin one more time... Jaye had told her how important it was to make memories of her family less than a fortnight into her stay in Northwood, or she might start to forget them. Katie had not really taken her seriously, although she hadn't exactly laughed the idea off. Now it came like a blow from a claw hammer that her mother, father and sister hadn't been her first thought on waking. It didn't seem plausible to not want your family to be the first to know of her hospitalisation – _well, my body technically_ is _still in the hospital_.

Before she went around the house to find an open window to sneak through, Katie stood at the front door. There were yellow lights burning deep in the house. Jaye and Leo were arguing loud enough to be heard down the street but God only knew what had started it all this time; Adam and Dina were crouched on the floor of the front room and talking over a hand of poker; Lainy didn't seem to be around so she was most likely at work. It was just so _normal_. Like any other Tuesday night in her chaotic old house. And she wanted to be a part of it desperately. She wanted to be sitting in the middle of an argument, looking at Adam's cards over his shoulder to help Dina and trying to study. She'd been getting used to her student lifestyle and finally being an adult. And then it all went away. _Was all stolen away,_ she corrected herself. Every second she spent watching her adoptive family through the window was another moment she wasn't getting back. But only other Shades had, so far, been able to see her. What was the point-

Katie blinked as a shadow faded in behind her. She gasped and tried to turn to see if there was anything at her back, but her feet suddenly felt leaden. Even the flexible muscles in her neck were as rigid as steel wire. It was as though the shadowed figure was keeping her locked in position. Like it didn't want her to see. Not that there would be anything there if she did look around. Instead, Katie stared straight ahead and let the black form shake into a human kind of shape, reflected to the side and just behind her. "What do you want from me?"

There was no answer. The night was deepening with every second but, no matter how dark the sky got, this thing would be darker.

"You can't hurt me," she told it, willing herself to believe it. "There's nothing you can do to me."

_So why are you scared of me?_ The smooth voice slipped into her mind like melted chocolate. There was something about the voice. Something commanding and demanding and somehow young, like a child used to getting his own way. But it was her own voice. Katie knew that, knew she was projecting her own fears because hearing them made them easier to deal with.

"Because people with no faces scare me," she admitted. "I start to wonder if they're hiding something from me. And what. And why." Why was she pouring out her deepest thoughts to this boy of shadows and secrets?

And if it is dangerous. And yet, I have said that I am no danger to you. Kathleen.

She swallowed a lump in her throat. "I'm not worried about me. It's them." Katie stared at the house, trying to lose herself in the sense of life that emanated through the walls. "I won't let you hurt them," she ground out. None of her friends were going to be in danger. _Not because of me._

Shadow Boy stretched out thick black hands and, just as he reached out to touch her, Katie, instead of shrinking away from him, saw her reflection lifting her arms to meet his and taking hold of those crawling fingers. What had she expected? Well, it might have been anything, but it certainly hadn't been nothing. And this was on the low end of nothing too. No writhing black tendril of death and evil; no last of light to show he was one of the good guys; nothing. She frowned, finding that she couldn't - _don't want to_ – let go. Something would come if she held on long enough. She was sure of it. Tears burned behind her eyes as she looked at the life she had turned away from, the friends who were just carrying on because they hadn't known her all that long anyway. She thought of a family, one daughter less than yesterday, 200 miles away, probably still oblivious to that fact. They had to be told. Who would do it? Maybe Katie should go herself. And, however heart-breaking it was, the tears just wouldn't come. They burned acid in her throat – grief turned into poison. And, she knew, there was no time to be sad. There were things to do and places to go. People to see. Then... then, she could rest.

The shadow was close enough that she could feel an eerie warmth against her back. It felt alien and comfortable all at once. Katie closed her eyes and let touch take over. The thin bones of a child, the tight grasp that seemed frightened to let go, the weight that was a hand resting in hers and not holding it. Behind her eyelids, a blurry face was hovering at the edges of her mind, so ethereal it broke apart and vanished when she grabbed for it. A burst of white noise busted into her efforts, chasing off anything that might have drifted back, and the gentle pressure was suddenly gone from her hands. No more breath on her neck or darkness so close to her that it seemed inviting. So inviting that there was no question that it could only be trouble. And yet, she felt somehow empty and wanting inside.

Katie opened her eyes and looked at her reflection in the window. She thought of everything she had left and wondered, again, why. It was insanity. It was-

You.

The word Shadow Boy had whispered this time floated to the surface. It had been buried under the white noise – a secret word that somebody else might steal if it was not hidden.

Soon.

You.

What did they mean? No idea, but Katie had an idea where she might get some answers.

# Chapter four

A sign at the end of Penniton Row, letters scratched and a few obliterated by teenagers with spray paint and nothing else to do, was the makeshift perch for Marcie. Had been for the past few hours. Freddie was sleeping over with a few friends and she had found herself walking down here. Her garage lay just a handful of steps away. The old Mustang under the tarpaulin called to her. Even if she couldn't get it to run in this town, the work was scientific, methodical. A brake light didn't come on and the bulb was probably burnt out. The gear box starts failing and the side bearings needed replacing. Everything could be thought through and fixed. It might get messy but it was always worth it. And she couldn't stretch her hand to her hip for the keys. A few doors down was the carcass of a tattoo shop. The place had held some shocks for both her and Katie a few days ago.

Noting was going to be the same.

The old saying was true – the one about the only constant in the world being change. It was nearly ten and the night was inky and thick, almost claustrophobic. It was also getting cold enough that Marcie shivered through the hoodie she was wearing. Plain and grey and frayed at the seams. She blinked up at the sky, breathing in the frosty air and hoping the clear sky might encourage a clear mind. It didn't. Clutching her keys like a weapons, the woman strode towards her garage.

And stepped over a twisted steel girder. Shattered safety glass littered the floor of the former Ink Exchange. Marcie stepped over all the debris, trying not to think about the terror that had swirled through the room.

"Jesus!"

She stumbled and threw a hand out to land on the mostly intact counter. Unfortunately, the heat of the fire and the current cold blast of autumn, had weakened the glass surface and it shattered under her weight. A sliver of glass sliced across a palm in such a rapid movement that the razor edge seem to simply score a line across her palm. No worse than a long paper cut – which said nothing; paper cuts were evil. The hurt hand sprang away from the broken counter and Marcie took a few staggering steps to get her balance on the uneven floor. How could this amount of destruction happen here and not even touch the other buildings on the street? The stationery shop had so much paper in it that it would have burnt like kindling. But it only had a few soot-blackened bricks at the edges. That made it seem worse in a weird sort of way. Because the fire had had nowhere to spread to, its entire, blind hunger had been contained in this one shop... and that terrified her. It had been on the news – the flame and smoke pouring out of the blown-out windows and doors, the way it had just _stopped_ , died out as if some giant was just snuffing out a candle. She had heard there had been people trapped inside; a passer-by had left an anonymous tip that at least on of them had sounded like a child. God, what if it had been Freddie? A mother allowing her young son to go to a tattoo parlour he was ten years too young for and get caught up in a fire he was a lifetime too young for. Not what she called responsible parenting. Her hand stung and Marcie flexed her fingers once or twice to get some feeling back. The sting got worse. It wasn't just a line of pins and needles across her palm now – it was spreading, a rippling of tingles rolling outwards. Then there was a pleasant warmth moving over her hand. Marcie raised her hand but it was so dark, she could barely see. Angling towards the faint moonlight shining in, the sight made her gasp so loudly that the whole world might have been drawing breath at the same time. What she saw was not a hand with a thin slice through it, it might not even been a hand at all under all the oil. Thick and dark and multicoloured. It seemed to move over her delicate skin. Sometimes purple, sometimes a toxic yellow, sometimes a pearlescent blue, but always blacker than the night could ever be. Watching the colours change and merge into one another was hypnotic. This was what she had always loved about cars when she learnt about them as a child. The oil making mesmerising patterns as leaks formed pools underneath whatever car her grandfather was trying to fix. When no-one was home, a little girl would sneak into the garage and pour a few drops of Castrol onto the floor and sit there, watching the black viscous liquid swirl and shine for hours on end...

"Wake up!" A voice cut through the air and Marcie blinked. But she couldn't wake herself from her memories. Wouldn't. "Wake up now, Marcie! Before it's too late." It was high and crystal clear. And not enough to bring the woman back. "Please. Give me one. Give me one person I can save."

Marcie looked around sleepily. For a moment she had thought that voice might have been Katie but _of course it wasn't. Katie's dead and she's not coming back._ It was all in her head. Her head was in a nice place.

"You're too lost, Marcie. Lift your arm." Dumbly, Marcie obeyed, her gaze turned inward on oily colours, and raised her right arm. Her body was obeying simple instructions but her brain... no, her brain was somewhere altogether different and it wasn't polite to intrude on other people's memories. The voice knew that now. "No, higher than that. So the blood-"

"Not blood. Oil."

"Red oil? Okay, so the oil drips down your arm."

Marcie lifted her hoodie over her head and rolled it over her arms, dropping it to the floor in a mechanical movement. It wasn't a conscious action. She resumed the position – hand raised high over her head and blood threading its dark way down into the crook of her elbow. She was dimly aware of a crunching noise under her feet. Walking somewhere. She wanted to go where-ever the voice went. And oil was making rivers along her arm and weaving pretty tattoos all of waves and twisting streams. From fingertips to – a barely healed cut, an unfinished lightning bolt on her skin. Ten year old Marcie hadn't had that. Ten year old Marcie never got ill or injured.

"Ten year old Marcie isn't here now. Thirty year old Marcie is. And she needs to wake up."

And as the blood hit the freshly healed gash, Marcie did. Two sights met her and it was impossible to know which of them sent her screaming from the shop – the ghost-girl hovering in front of her, a mess of blood, tears and torn flesh. Or the bones at her feet; blackened, charred, unmistakeable. Maybe it was a combination of both.. there was an irrational moment when it was Katie. _But Katie's not blonde. Wasn't. Wasn't blonde._

"You shouldn't even be here!" Shimma wasn't quite shouting but he was freaked out enough that he wasn't far off it. He had been standing in the main room of his club and fiddling with some loose bulbs on the blue and green fairy lights that covered the walls when Katie had snuck up on him and started shouting. It was confusing for the kid. She thought she was falling into the safety of death and the end of everything, and now she was here. And Shimma was the natural choice for some help. He had lent her a Tazer last month and had armed her friends against the danger they had faced just today.

Of course she would come to him for answers. Too bad he couldn't give them to her.

"What? You have a policy against former employees or something?"

"Former? You're not coming back to work then?"

"Dude, I'm a ghost. Can't really lift trays if they're going to fall right through me."

He ran a hand through his platinum hair. "Jeez girl. That sucks."

Katie shrugged. The full range of things she could no longer do hadn't really hit her yet. She was trying to stave off that moment for as long as possible because she knew that was going to be a crushing second. _I'm really dead._ "It's been six hours. I'm getting used to it." Or, rather, she was just avoiding the fact for the moment. Dead was just a word. If she didn't think about it too much then it wasn't really true.

"Why did you come here?"

"Mostly because this is where I remember being last. I remember my friends being here. They stood in a circle with me. And then I died. They tried to bring me back," she said, and winced at the acid memory, "but I said no. I don't know why I said that." Katie reached out and pointed at one of the bulbs. "There. That one's blown out."

Shimma glanced over and fingered the section of wire. "How'd you know that?"

Another shrug. "Call it a weird feeling."

He wondered if she was right although, deep down, he had no doubts.

"I don't know... this doesn't... there's no sense to anything. I mean, I saw my body here. I watched you mop up the mess and open the club. Everything went back to normal."

"How could anything go back to normal without you, Katie? You don't know," _what I risked for you,_ "how important you are."

Katie looked at him doubtfully. Had he been about to say something else then? Shimma stood up and reached a hand out, as if to touch her shoulder and comfort her, then hesitated and dropped it. That was okay. Katie was not in the mood for empty gestures and silent promises. "But I saw it."

"It never happened. Your brain invented those things because that's what makes sense. A horrible thing happens, we watch it, fight it, clear up the pieces. That's logical, right. But haven't you learned it by now?"

"Northwood doesn't work that way. This town... I can feel the heart of the town, Shimma. It survives on emotion and strength, life and death, nothing outsiders can ever understand." There was a sad truth in it. Something that hit her like a punch in the gut. The academy had not invited her here to train on athletic talent alone – it was because her memories of Jack had never been truly erased. Even though her first meetings with him were a sucking black hole in her mind, she knew huge chunks of her days and nights couldn't have just not happened, so there must be _something_ that needed hiding from conscious thought. And when those thoughts had begun to surface, Levenson Academy had somehow lured her here. Because she knew too much.

But I don't know anything at all.

"Are you feeling brave?" The absence of reply was taken as a confirmation. Shimma disappeared for a minute and a ghost of a girl was left standing in the middle of a practically deserted and cavernous club, increasingly frightened that Shadow Boy was going to creep through the darkness. Creep up on her and whisper innocent/sinister words she didn't know the meanings of. Then harsh fluorescent lights lit up the corridor over to the right and the few aqua tinted overhead lights came up, bathing the club in a soft sea green glow. A light that chased the dark away – but Katie knew, she _knew_ , it was always going to be able to get her if it wanted...

Then Shimma was back at her side. "You should see this."

Without waiting for an answer, he turned away and walked off. Katie followed him to where he had stopped still roughly in the centre of the dance floor. He seemed to be staring straight at her and Katie looked down, intimidated by his intense silver stare. What colour _were_ his eyes? They couldn't be silver, honestly and truly. Could they? Maybe they were grey and the light was making them glitter.

Stop avoiding what's right in front of you.

Although that was a sensible course of action because, on the floor, there was blood. A pool of it. Glowing dark ruby and black all at once. She said the first thing that came into her head. "It's still wet."

"And it'll never dry."

"I'm going to hate the answer to this but it's mine, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry girl."

"No. No. It can't be." But she knew it was. It didn't make it any better. "it doesn't fit in my head. Physics. Logic. I bled out here seven, eight hours ago. It has to be dry."

"You didn't bleed to death, girl."

"So, it can't be mine. Somebody else came in here and left that... that horrible stuff. It's fake blood. They can keep it looking wet for hours." The excuses sounded weak to even her own ears.

"Katie. Don't make this harder for yourself. Touch it. It belongs to you."

Unbelieving, she crouched and reached her hand out, willing her fingers to touch it. It was like imagining her own clothes on. She didn't expect it to work, or maybe she just hoped it wouldn't, so there was a strange mix of relief and disappointment when it did. "How?"

"It's yours. As long as you're still here, your blood will be. You're in control."

Instead of being pleased, maybe even shocked, at that news, Katie just felt overwhelmed. She sat back on the floor and drew her knees up under her chin like a little child. The position was good for stretching the hamstrings when warming down from a run. _Not that I'll ever need to worry about that again._ Tears burned behind her eyes. Her fingers were trembling. A thousand questions raged in her brain. And they all came down to one: "Why am I still here?"

"I can't answer that."

It wasn't until much later that she noticed Shimma had not said he didn't know. All that mattered right then was, "You're the only proper grown up I know. You _have_ to know."

He took up a lotus position on the floor, facing her, and tried to catch her broken brown eyes. "I can't give you all the answers, Katie. I wish I could."

Yeah, she wished that too.

"Has anything weird been happening to you today?"

Let's see. There was a smackdown with the man who killed and kidnapped my boyfriend, I died and somewhy decided to stick around, a man started to do a post-mortem on me before I was whisked off on a magical mystery tour to the Dead World, and now I'm sitting here with a mortal – human – you – who can see and hear me even though no-one else can. Define weird. "Not really. I mean, we're staring at a pool of my blood that will never dry.... That's it."

"You haven't... seen anything strange?"

"You're damn right I have!" a familiar voice shrieked. Katie looked up at the red haired woman stalking across the wooden floor, the wooden staff door in the corner swinging in her wake. "You left the door open. Why were you talking to yourself?"

It took a long few moments for her to become Marcie Cross. One of the first friends she had made outside her housemates in Northwood had become almost a surrogate mother here – the one she could tell all her troubles to and not be judged, the cool one who let her have the odd drink at weekends. And that made it hard to sit here and watch the woman she had known as a strong, independent lady, bringing up a son by herself look so frightened. Her clothes were raggy at the edges, she didn't have her hair brushed perfectly back from her face like usual, and the absence of any makeup made her look pasty, haunted. So dramatic was the change was that Katie had to stand up and back away to stand by the bar.

"I wasn't. I was talking to... some-one. You can't see them."

"Ghosts again?" Marcie sounded bored, as if this was an age-old question. "This isn't normal, Shimma. You scare me at times."

He raised his eyebrows at her in a question.

"I worry about you. Ghosts and Shades and spirits. Where-ever they are, you seem to be there too. I don't want you to get hurt. Now," she held up her hand to quiet him when he opened his mouth to protest, "I know you're big enough to protect yourself and – God knows, probably half the town as well – but a girl died here today and I know you blame yourself for it."

"I armed everyone who came to help her. And I gave her _nothing."_

Marcie stepped over the puddle of blood carefully, scared to touch it in case it sucked her under and never let her up for air, and sat on the floor next to the man, white and red spikes of hair mixing like a Tippexed heart, coffee and milk skin touching just barely. "It's not your fault, Shimma. Don't beat yourself up over it. You thought she was strong enough. We all did."

It wasn't self punishment that worried him. He knew how much hate he could turn on himself before it started affecting those he cared about. No, it was the thought of what might be done to him if his bosses ever found out what he had done, how many rules he had broken. "I thought wrong."

"No, you didn't. Never think that. You were right to let her go because..." and it almost choked her to say the next words, "Maybe dying is the strongest thing Katie ever did."

Katie stared across the room at her friends sitting together and blinked once or twice. No. Her eyes... the dark... the club was still washed with gentle green light but it seemed... dimmer. No, that wasn't right either. It was Shimma. He was glowing. A pure white line of light began to outline his figure, getting wider and brighter with every second. Such a brilliant light. And it wasn't human. She glanced at Marcie to see if she could see it too but the woman gave no indication that she noticed anything odd going on. _Maybe it's me. Maybe it's because I'm dead._ Though that was a leap of logic her brain wasn't quite ready to bullet point just yet. A bit of distance might clear her head enough to think properly. It was pitch black outside, walking around out there didn't seem like the cleverest option so she picked up and headed off to the ladies toilets. Bleach and disinfectant did wonders. Katie was on her way and didn't notice him suddenly turning to track her departure, nor did she hear his final words, uttered with soul-deep sorrow.

"I made her stay."

Somewhere not too far away there was a conversation going on that Katie had no desire to be part of. It may or may not be about her but she didn't want to risk getting stuck in the middle. Her head was swimming with bright colours as she dawdled down the harshly lit corridor, past a couple of storage rooms and Shimma's office, down to the end where the ladies and gents stood opposite each other. Just outside the flaking red door to the toilets, a draft blew down the walkway. Something pressed gently inside Katie; a whisper of suggestion. It was too random to be called an idea. She turned on the spot and stared straight ahead at the bottle green fire door, remembering being shot there, understanding that this club was a hub of supernatural activity, that door was more than a way of getting from inside to out. It was a portal to other worlds, other dimensions: it was where the wall was thinnest. Why here though? Why pick the club where hundreds of Levenson Academy students danced and drank every week?

Shrugging, Katie twisted back and faced the closed door. Yes – closed. Could be a problem.

_Well, I_ am _a ghost I should be able to-_ Without giving herself time to think herself out of it, Katie stepped forward and squeezed her eyes shut, preparing for the door smacking her face. It didn't happen. Instead, a weird sensation of walking through setting jelly worked across her body, and then she was standing by the bust hot air hand dryer in one corner of the clean but well-used ladies toilets.

"God, what a mess," Katie said to the mirror, putting her hand up to the mad cloud of brown hair her mop had become. "This is so crap." Looking at her reflection, at the girl she had turned into, was enough to send her hurtling over the edge. Well, it would have been just a few weeks ago. Now... now her soul was cracked so wide open that another fracture made little to no difference. Yes, her spirit had been ripped apart and this shadow of her former self was the patch trying to hold it all together. Just until that got worn out too and the kindest thing to do was throw the whole thing away and start all over again. The ghost in the mirror – the girl who looked too old to be sixteen, too broken in, the girl with the wide, frightened eyes and the 'everything's-okay-because-I'll-just-pretend-it-is' smile - _is she really me?_ The child with scars all over and nowhere to go – _that can't be me._ The door swung open just as Katie was putting her bands to her face and Marcie strode in.

"Hey," the older woman muttered to the reflection and walked up to the mirror, fumbling in her hoodie for a tiny tube of peach lip gloss attached to a bunch of keys.

"You can see me?" Katie asked, hardly daring to hope.

"Ka-" and she turned, halfway through re-applying the gloss. The frown creasing her forehead made it obvious that she couldn't really see her. Back to the mirror and the frown softened to confusion. Her face darted back to the mirror. She thought she had seen a girl there when she had come in but it had only been for half a second and then the girl had vanished into nothing. And now there was nothing. Her imagination. It was in overdrive and the emotions in Marcie seemed to be crackling all around the room in little blue sparks. After seeing those _things_ in the old body art shop, her mind was playing tricks. Bones – the skeleton of a woman, the bare cage of the building, ghosts. It was a miracle that Marcie was still on her feet. Katie watched as her friend gripped the edge of the sink row hard enough that her fingertips turned jaundice yellow and utterly bloodless, and very nearly _wasn't._

"SHIMMA!" Katie yelled, not even pausing to wonder why he should hear her. Panic spread through her and she reached forward on instinct to steady Marcie. _Well, that was a great idea. It worked so perfectly._ As in not at all. Her hand passed straight through but – but Marcie felt something. She must have done because she went even paler – if that was possible – and her knees buckled underneath. "Hurry the fuck up, dude," Katie muttered and yelled his name again. Spurred on by a senseless need to help she stepped behind the woman who was fainting in ultra slo-mo and threw her arms out, either to hold her up or to break the fall. Katie didn't know, didn't care. All that rang in her mind was that stern sergeant voice. _Don't let a comrade fall. Hold her, save her, carry her if you have to. But never let her fall._ And, somehow, for just a moment, it worked. Warm body weight pressed down on her hands and Katie was so shocked that her focus broke and Marcie slipped through her arms. And then a dark flash scooped Marcie up and power-slid across the floor, laying Marcie across his lap.

"She's fainted."

"Uh-huh. Why?"

Shimma had to know. It was his club. It was his job to know the hows and whys of everything that went on here. It made perfect sense.

He just shrugged. "You were here. Don't you know?"

"Me?" He thought she might have something to do with this? "She was doing her make-up, and then she was trying to hug the ground. I put my arms out to stop her but she fell through because... non-corporeal, so I shouted you. And now it's now."

"You touched her." He made it sound like an accusation. Shouldn't it be a question asked in appropriate awe and wonder? Or hailed as a miracle? "You touched her and now things are going to get ugly."

What? Where had fun-loving, smiling Shimma gone? The Shimma who was always there with an easy joke or a snarky comment. The Shimma who pretended he was Jamaican, accent and everything, although his family had moved to Britain with the slaves. Who was this serious and sombre man sitting here in his clothes and wearing his face? Because it wasn't the guy Katie knew and liked. The new Shimma actually frightened her a little with his intensity. "You're blaming me for this?"

"It, it doesn't matter whose fault it is-"

"But it's mine," Katie finished for him. "You can't be serious! After everything I've been through, you're honestly making this my fault. Because I obviously don't feel crappy enough."

Shimma bent his face to Marcie, pressed his lips to her temple and stroked her hair. "Ssshhh baby. You just sleep."

Marcie raised a hand and tried to bat him away, not even opening her eyes. then her breathing grew deep and even and her head lolled to one side. Nothing more than asleep. Katie frowned and got onto her knees to peer at her friend for any sign she might be faking. She had not looked the least bit tired when she had stormed into the club a short while ago – just incredibly highly strung. But there was nothing to see there. For all the world, Marcie had just decided to take a nap on the bathroom floor.

"I'm not blaming... you didn't know... crap, I screwed up. I'm sorry, girl."

"I was trying to help."

He stood up, picking Marcie up as if she weighed no more than a stuffed toy. _We'll leave her in my office. Then we can talk._ Katie didn't know what shocked her more – the fact that he was talking to her, mind to mind, or that he was suddenly not the tiniest bit angry at her. _Mr Emotional 180 or what?_ Shimma smiled slightly. If he hadn't been able to hear the words, he seemed to have taken one hell of a good guess.

The door to his sparsely furnished office swung open before his toe nudged it, and he lay Marcie down on the battered loveseat he had dragged in to replace the couch. Red wine did not just wipe off cream leather, no matter what the adverts said. Well, maybe if you wiped it off straight away instead of waiting the weekend out.

There's an old coat of mine under the desk. It should work as a blanket.

She did not question him. Just backed up and peered under the desk. Oh yes, there it was. Grabbing for it and only coming back with thin air, Katie growled in frustration.

"Girl, you growled."

"Get too close, I bite too," she warned. Fine. Stand back and think logically. But Shimma was staring at her with something like irritation turning silver eyes to steel. He made a hurry up gesture. _That helped._ There was a coat she couldn't get that needed to go over a woman she couldn't touch. _So, now we know the problem, work the answer._ Katie closed her eyes and calmed her mind, remembering what Jaye had taught her earlier that day. _Imagine..._ she could think about the coat and it would be hers, to be placed where she wanted. Okay, rules, she had to actually own the item before she could touch it. Hmmm- but it was a riddle that had an answer if she only thought sideways. The rules didn't say anything about moving something from one place to another, bypassing her altogether.

It might work.

And it _did_ work. It was suspiciously simple but she wasn't about to complain.

As the long dark coat – about two sizes too big for Shimma – settled over the woman, Katie walked back over and squinted down at her friend, evaluating. Everything seemed natural but... "Is she going to be okay?"

"Yeah. I just put her to sleep."

"Like a dog?" The Cartwright family dog had been put to sleep six years ago and Katie had curled up and slept in the dog basket for weeks – just so she could be close to Fuggly. That was what the phrase made her think of.

Shimma glanced over her shoulder. Not that there was anything worth looking at over there unless filing cabinets were your thing (decidedly not) but he just couldn't look at the girl standing in his office, looking at him like he was God and the devil all rolled into one. It was too hard. She needed somebody to take care of her, to help her through whatever came next. And that person couldn't be him.

"I haven't told you everything."

Silence followed, silence and a vague awareness that they were trudging through the bright corridor and into the main club. Where there was... no. no, she could go near that spot again. Couldn't see her own lifeblood or touch the echoes of her death – murder? It wasn't real – couldn't be real. Not if Katie was still here, walking and talking. And yet... it was calling to her like her broken body had called in the hospital. The call had no distinctive words, no sound at all, in fact. It was just _there_ : a crawling/urgent urge to go and look – just to see. _To see what?_ Katie mentally shrugged.

"Everything? You haven't told me anything!"

Shimma held out his hand to her, looking a bit worried. There were soft green lights all over him now, washing his dark skin a pale, sickly colour. "No, and I think-"

Then the world exploded-

# Chapter five

\- into sound and colour and chaos.

The club lights blew out in a dozen golden fireworks, sending coloured glass tinkling to the floor. Katie expected to be plunged into the pitch black and even drew in a breath to scream, but the darkness didn't come, replaced by a dizzying swirl of a million colours around her. Everything, from the bar to the stools to the DJ equipment, was overlaid with a faint glow that spiked into an almost blinding brightness every few seconds. It was as disorienting as seeing nothing at all would have been. She closed her eyes but the vivid patterns still flashed behind her lids, a painful red saw, biting its way through every defence and into the depths of her subconscious. Katie took a breath ( _do I really need oxygen?_ ) and opened her eyes slowly, trying to let in just enough maddening light that she didn't go all head-spinny and fall over. Which was made doubly hard when she noticed the screaming. It was agonised and desperate and everywhere. It was a drill, driving through her brain and out the other side, cutting a path of pain and indignation behind it.

Should have been

Could have been

Should have been

Could have been

It went on for ever and Katie could feel it echoing into eternity. The voices were so loud and so sweet that all she wanted to do was follow the visible burnt gold wisps of light back, back through the club and towards the opening onto the corridor where the threads of sounds seemed brighter. Almost painfully so.

Instead, she simply stood there. Frozen to the spot with an odd excitement mixed with dread. She dropped to her knees faster than she thought she could and squinted. It was hard to see Shimma through the colours. But as soon as she saw him, Katie decided she had to grab his hand and never let go. Because these things were pulling her, sucking her, enveloping her and - and why was he getting further away with each step she took? Vortexes of pearlescent and transparent colours filled the air between them; endless chanting drowned out any attempts to scream his name. And then there was the bar, just sneaking into view before it too disappeared under the multicoloured energies of the people who used it night after night. Everything had energy. Obviously, inanimate objects didn't have their own energy like moving, mechanical things but they held traces of the energies of the people who had used it. And each person had an energy around them that changed in intensity with every action. She could see it, could feel it, pawing at her phantom skin like a baby feels for his mother just to make sure she was still there. Invisible fingers – insistent in their touch, gently prodding her towards their source. And that was... actually, it was okay. They weren't hurting her. They weren't shouting or angry. They just called and held her, careful as though she was something fragile.

Should have been

Could have been

It was endless and beautiful. Katie turned and blinked at the sight before her. She was barely a foot away from an invisible curtain, pulsing with vibrant black, silver, red, blue and every shade in between. It was vast and wonderful and it was death. Too much, too soon and death, dying just to escape. _How many have you killed?_ Katie wondered, taking a step towards it. Maybe it would tell her the answers if she could only touch it...

"KATIE!" came a roar from behind her. "NO!"

Something like a physical blow to her chest made her stumble back a few steps and only the dark hands around her kept her on her feet.

_Always save you,_ they promised.

Every muscle in her was limp and aching with the effort of standing up under the pressure of so many hands on her. They were welcoming and if she went to them, nothing and no-one could ever hurt her again.

"KATIE!" that same voice yelled again and, while she heard it like a driving alarm through her ears, it did little good. But underneath the harsh panic was another voice. A familiar one, almost pleading in two little words: _Lady Katie._

Jack?

_Lady Katie._ Nine letters and an image of Jack formed in her mind – a boy of sixteen with hair of sand and eyes like the seas. A back of scars from a whip and a head of memories, dreams and regret - because how many of those dreams would he realise now? But he was telling her to do something. This, this he could do. What did Jack want? He wanted – no, needed – her to...

With tears stinging her eyes, Katie forced herself to blink and clear the dust from her eyes, and look again at the thing before her. It was hypnotic in its random patterns and rippling curtain of a thousand souls pressing at the barrier. And it was fine. They didn't want anything but to save her.

_From what?_ She wondered again. A dark memory pulled at her. Some-one... some-one was after Katie.

A hand, burning hot and very, very real wrapped itself around her left wrist and yanked Katie back and out of the comforting embrace of death and darkness. They only wanted to make this over, to make her suffering end and take her away from the danger. Why? Why wouldn't this sizzling hand let them take her away? Before she got her thoughts together enough to question who had been able to touch her, she tugged her arm away and cradled it in her right hand, sure she would have received flash burns at least, but too afraid to look in case she was developing scar tissue to match the mess her hand already was. Great. A glove of burns and blisters. No girl should be without one. It was a bitter thought but one that had a certain resonance. What teenage girl needed to be thinking about being scarred for life? _Well, at least in my present state, I don't need to worry about anyone seeing._ Katie frowned, suddenly recalling the hot and extremely solid feel of a hand on her arm. The only other person in the room was Shimma. She whipped her head around and looked for him, barely able to see anything now that wasn't the mad whirl of colours and noise and sensation. Had Shimma somehow touched her? How was that even possible? Or was it just the combined pressure of all those souls trying to get a piece of her?

Should have been

Could have been

Never was

Always save you

"From what?" Katie shouted into the sucking curtain of energy, distantly afraid by their words. And yet, she trusted them. "What are you going to save me from?" But, as she spoke, her gaze was captured by a bright white light – so bright it was making everything else seem dull in comparison. Underneath that light was just the faintest outline of a man. Katie forgot the burning in her wrist and sank to her knees, shielding her eyes. This form of light and glitter... it was beautiful, more beautiful than anything she had ever seen. Worshipping before this creature was the only logical thing to do. It raised a hand and lines of silver shot up, connecting to ceiling. No, not to the ceiling – _through_ the ceiling, through the roof and out into the night. Those threads of energy might be touching the stars. A second hand began to move and Katie swayed as she watched, hypnotised.

Go go go save you have to save you

The fingers holding her up from a dead faint pushed her towards the light but just as she began to stretch up for it, Katie remembered a warning Jack had given her the first time she had seen this light. _Don't touch it... like wrappin' your hand around a live wire._ Hesitations cost everything in this town.

And in that moment of confusion, something rushed through the corridor, dark and dangerous, and grabbed her by the shoulders. It pulled her to her feet and pushed her towards the pulsing barrier of energy. _Fire door. It used to be a fire door._ The mantra, if repeated enough times, would make it real once again. _It's only an emergency exit._ And it wasn't making any difference. Even with her feet planted firmly on the floor, Katie could feel herself being dragged nearer and nearer to that portal. She knew though, without even a shadow of doubt, that if she let herself be taken through there would be no coming back. It would all be over. Really and truly over. And while she was still here, while she still lingered in the world, there was hope – a tiny part of her would always be alive. And Katie – for all that she tired and spent and God, didn't the kid _deserve_ a rest? – aside from that, she was not about to let that sliver of life go.

_WILL!!!_ A menacing voiced roared the word in her head. Katie was sure it had been loud enough to shake the walls. Plaster dust was drifting down from the ceiling.

Holding her hands over her face, Katie froze. This touch... it wasn't like the others. Although she could see where this was coming from, it did not feel safe. It felt – like it wanted to hurt her. It felt like somebody had held her this way before, some-one who had pinned her immobile against the ground and taken her to bad places. And she had felt terrified and helpless. The tears had not come till after, when she was alone and wondering if the bad man would come back and hurt her again, just like he hurt her every night in her dreams. But the bad man had come back and the tears would never come and

"I AM NOT ALONE!" Katie fought free of the grip and pushed a cold body away from her. The body hovered just a few inches above the ground, looking as if it had been frozen mid-jump.

_You,_ she sent out, the thought almost pointed with accusation. _Who are you? What do you want from me?_ But she made the mistake of looking up. Any eyes were hidden beneath a writhing mass of shadow and suffering. It tilted the place where its head would be and Katie knew who it was. This, this was Shadow Boy. And he wanted nothing but to send her back through the portal and into the End Place. _You can't make me go back there. You just can't._

_It is where you belong. You should be there now. Would be... if not for_ him.

Shadow Boy looked pointedly at Shimma and Katie, once more, found herself thinking his words. She didn't know what to do. Okay, that was pretty freaking obvious. If she had ever had any clue as to what she was doing, Katie wouldn't be dead now would she? There were two choices – cling to this pretence of life, spend her days essentially lonely and alone, watching everyone she loved cry and endure an agony of emotions and never be able to help. Or follow the shadowy figure into a world of dead souls and relinquish every tie she had to the mortal plane for the chance of finding Jack and never fighting again. Couldn't she have this moment? Wasn't she allowed to be selfish just this once?

"I won't go," was practically a whisper but it was enough to steel Katie for the frankly insane thing she was about to do. She reached up and forced her hand into the shadows and pushed the darkness back like a hood to stare into a face she almost recognised. And then she tore her hands away, wishing she could wipe the residue of deceit off. "You can't have me!" And she thrust her left hand into the laser bright fire burning around Shimma beside her.

" _Will."_ Shadow Boy whispered it into her ear, way down low. He vanished. No puff of smoke, no gradual fade away, he just was gone. So was all the light and all the sensation. A single word replaced the constant calling of a thousands souls from the other side.

Will will will

_Will?_ Something will happen? I will do something? What? But there was no time to stress over the questions as Katie realised her hand was starting to tingle from being left in the white fire that had been too bright to look at. She saw now though. Saw a glow fading and the human Shimma, the mortal Shimma come forth, more real than the light. It did not fade away entirely though and, only now, Katie realised it had always been there. It was just that there was always so much to worry about that she had never noticed it before. Brown eyes met with- were they really silver? If eyes were the window to the soul then somebody had thrown a rock at his, cracking shatter-proof glass and bouncing off. So why did Katie feel responsible?

"You're not.... you're different."

"Yeah." Well, at least he wasn't denying it. Which was good. Because she had been starting to think seeing colours and being a ghost and being fought over by invisible spirits were all figments of her imagination. Like maybe she had fallen into one mother of a coma at some point and these were just constructs of her personal reality. "I'm a Keeper."

It took a few seconds for the weight of his words to sink in and then Katie wrenched her hand away and launched herself at the farthest corner. Miraculously, she managed to wedge herself between the wall and fire door without falling through either. It was only when she flinched away from his out-stretched hand that she began to question why Shimma had been able to touch her at all. "Don't touch me! Why can you touch me anyhow? I mean... I'm not solid here but... you held my hand like it was real. This is so messed up."

"Here. You said here. Have you been somewhere else today?"

"I spent some time in the Dead World with Jack," she shrugged. "He said things worked differently over there so he could hold me and we could...." Katie tailed off, cussing herself out for being so immature. _Bite the bullet, girl._ "He kissed me. Nothing happened. I remember everything."

"Damn it!" he muttered.

"Shimma, did we do something wrong?"

"No. No, nothing. You went where your heart took you, did what it told you to. I just didn't think. I forgot you were a teenager."

"Okay, I'm getting stressed out now. I need to leave for a while. This is going to take some time to process."

That was what he had done this for. This exact moment – the instant when a shitload of information had just emptied into her brain, more than would send a lesser person running for the nearest cave and she just refused to move. Even though she had said she wanted time and space, her eyes blazed with anger. That was okay – he could deal with her nebulous fury. It meant Katie was still _there_ , was still human enough to demand answers before she moved an inch. "Katie, I'm a-"

"A Keeper. Heard you the first time. That's why you keep all those weapons and stuff. You're... Keeping them."

"I Keep a lot of things, Katie."

A door behind Shimma opened silently and out stepped a rumpled Marcie, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Katie? Shimma, she's not here." Then she got a look at him, still washed with a faint white glow. "Your skin."

Metal music had been blasting out of the opposite room in fits and starts for the past few hours. It was three in the morning. On Wednesdays, Jaye liked to go to the pool and get in a few laps before classes. It wasn't going to happen. She threw herself onto her back and pulled the plain black duvet up to her chin. She was in a black mood today – and not just from lack of sleep. In the bed opposite, Dina was sitting up with familiar white wires leading up to the mess of a black bob, flicking feverishly through a book on calligraphy, unable to concentrate on anything for more than a blink. Apart from the noise from next door the house was too quiet. It didn't feel lived in any more; not bursting with life just waiting to wake up but filled with driving bass and drums just to cover up the missing part of home. And it just made it worse.

Getting out of bed and cracking open the door were, probably, the hardest movements she had ever made. But once she was moving, Jaye was fine. Knew she had to keep going. She crossed the hall and banged a tiny fist on the door facing her. It opened and a tired, unshaven face peered out.

"Have you any idea what the time is?"

Leo pressed a button in his watch and the display lit his face in an eerie green glow in the general gloom. "Oh," he grunted, "late."

"Yeah. Oh. I'm meant to be up and at the pool in four hours to train. You think I'm gonna sleep on the diving board or something?"

A sudden look of panic flashed in his dark blue eyes. "You're not going, are you?"

Jaye looked down at herself. All she wore was her black and red spotted PJs and she didn't make a habit of swimming in her nightwear. "Not for the foreseeable future." The boy visibly relaxed but he was still tense and gripping the edge of the door like he might fall down if he didn't have the support.

"What's going on down there?" Leo jerked his head towards the stairs where the faintest of yellow glows was coming from the kitchen. Every few minutes would bring the shuffling sounds of Lainy and Adam – the pseudo parents of this house – moving around. "Whenever I look, the lights are still on."

Jaye didn't bother mentioning the irony. Leo seemed to be perfectly aware of it.

They both knew what was going on in that room. The older couple were discussing Katie or, more specifically, which of them should call her parents and what they should say... What could they say really? "Hi Mr and Mrs Cartwright. You know you sent your teenage daughter to us to get a good education? Yeah, she died because this evil old dude who killed her boyfriend 150 years ago, hunted her down and beat her practically to death. She did the rest on her own."

"That'll go down well."

"What?"

"Hm. Nothing. You know, we should kill a kid more often, it blunts your general hateful bastard-ness." But there was nothing behind her words – they were mechanical and easy. No meaning to them, just habit. "Jesus."

Leo frowned slightly at her and then his face softened. Up until now he had always yelled at Jaye for treating religion with disdain but if ever there was a time to take the holy names in vain it was now. Only... what could the father, the son and the holy ghost do? He angled a slim remote over his shoulder and turned the music off, even though the jarring melodies had dulled into background music for the hurt and the lonely. Without the sounds of Slipknot filling the house, the hush was creepy, crushing. Rubbing his exhausted face with a grimy white t-shirt, Leo disappeared into his room, not waiting to see if she would follow. When she sat on the bed opposite the bean bag that had moulded exactly to his shape, Jaye did not even know what to say. Instead, they strained to hear the conversation going on below this room. It was just an indefinable murmur. It was so low and full of pauses that a stilted argument was clearly being thrashed out. It wasn't just about the Cartwrights. It made Jaye sad to think that Katie wasn't the only thing on their minds. If she could just... If they only knew what she did then...

_Then what?_ What good could it possibly do to tell her friends that Katie was still around? Or had been. She'd pulled a Road Runner this evening and run so far she might never come back – and Jaye couldn't blame her. No, it would only hurt more if anyone else knew. Hurt that Katie was in the mortal realm against her wishes; hurt than she had run away before they could see her; hurt that a ghost of a girl was all she could ever be. Hurt that that there was nothing left, nothing but a room full of furniture and unfinished things. No, they couldn't know.

There were other crises going down though. Tensions had been building over the past few weeks and it was stretched so tight that the atmosphere was ready to shatter. Jaye suspected that she was going to go downstairs one morning and find it had shattered all over the living room. She smiled. Learning how Shades express their anger had come as quite a shock when she and Katie had found out together. Something about dying gifted people with a long fuse and a (literally) destructive temper. At a guess, it was down to suddenly understanding life was too short to be angry all the time – it was just a shame it had taken dying at nineteen to teach her that. When Jaye had been choked up with confusing emotion a handful of weeks ago, when Dina had slashed her wrists, nearly died, and spent a week in a near-unbreakable coma, a tornado had erupted out of her – almost as if there was no more room in her body for feelings. So they spilled out into the immediate area around her. That time, it had been in Katie's room and had resulted in a floor full of clothes and papers and a broken window. It could have been worse; it could have been in the living room where Lainy had let go of her anger. Busted up furniture, ripped cushions and a smashed television. The house still wasn't quite back to being fully furnished. And now, it was going to happen. Stress levels were as high as planes, under such tight control that no-one dared speak too loudly.

"Can't sleep?" Leo asked.

"A sloth couldn't sleep through your racket."

He nodded at her healed arm and scratched at his own bandage. "You can get rid of that right? If you wanted to."

"I won't."

"I wish I could. Every time I touch it, I think of her. How we should have saved her." No question of who the _her_ was.

"Stop touching it then." If only the answers could always be that simple. "Katie didn't want that." But, really, did that even matter? A kid given a choice between a painless, numb eternity and a short life of tears and chaos was only ever going to choose the former. Jaye should have been prepared for that and pumped life into her anyway. "Katie was raped. She ever tell you that?"

"No," he lied. How could he forget all the times he had accused Jack of raping her by taking tiny pieces of her soul every time he took human form? The frightened look on her slack face when she'd been barely conscious in his arms as he raced to the hospital with her after Dina had slipped her Rohypnol. It haunted his dreams still: haunted and taunted that there was nothing he could do to protect her.

"She begged me not to tell but it probably doesn't matter now. She was terrified of her old city, thought the man who hurt her was still out there and if she saw him...it might happen again. Yeah yeah, shut it, I know the statistics but she was afraid. So she moved here. I guess nobody told her it was more dangerous. And there was Adam, trying to cop a feel in her first week, and you being all shit-scary and looking intimidating. And the attacks on her kept on coming – I don't even know half of what she went through. Every one of those was like being raped again, I think. Like the faces were different but the violations were the same. I don't blame her for thinking death was the only place the bad things couldn't get her."

"How do you know?"

"How do I know what it felt like? I was possessed once." Her body had been taken over by some type of Death Dealer, her soul squashed into an unused corner by a being known only as She, a being older than names. She had forced Jaye to do terrible things – like shooting her young friend and trying to throw Dina over the cliff in the End Place. And it was made a million times worse because she remembered every second of it. Being out of control, being forced into doing something that was so repulsive but that had you had no choice over. "I guess it feels like that but over and over again."

"No, I meant how do you know she didn't want us to bring her back?"

Because she told me so. Because she used the last of her mortal strength to thread me into the mind link she shares with Jack and whispered her request. And I obeyed. Luckily, she didn't have to worry about thinking of an answer because, at that moment, Dina staggered in to the room with a book in one hand and a furiously vibrating phone in the other.

"Hey babe, come join the party."

Dina held out the BlackBerry and threw her book on the bed. "This has been buzzing for the last fifteen minutes. I thought you might be interested."

Jaye took the phone and clicked the power button until it fell still. "Chris," she informed them. She had been dating a frankly ridiculously tall boy called Chris Falstaff for the past week or so, although she got the impression he was more interested in his running career than in her. Didn't stop them having a little fun though. "I think he needs somebody to talk to. He doesn't really understand what went on yesterday."

"Who does?"

"Nobody explained to him."

"So? He's a big boy, he can work out that we only wasted our time."

"We didn't waste anything!" _Except our last chance_ , Dina thought. "What do we do now?" It was the question they were all thinking but none of them had any answers. There was nothing to fight and nothing to fight _for._ Life just seemed so empty – so quiet and empty. Dina shuffled her feet and glanced at the door. There was a faint longing inside to get out of there. That yearning had been tugging at her since this last summer and had come to a head a couple of months ago when she had smashed the bathroom mirror and slashed her wrists just so she could not be here for a while. Psychically speaking, she had ended up somewhere much worse than Northwood. The End Place - where all the souls of Northwood went when they died, or had killed the only part of themselves that thought life was worth living. They stayed there until She, a being of hunger and darkness, walked along the cliff edge where those lost souls gathered and pushed them off, choosing her victims with terrifying randomness. More than anything, Dina remembered a bone-deep dread and a fear that the thousands had shared. Because that's what it was. Fear. Unshakeable. Sudden. Shocking. Once in the End Place, they all realised that they didn't want to be dead, didn't want to spend eons just waiting, wondering if you might be next. So they did everything they could to help people like... people like Katie. Once they knew how dangerous their choices were, they were not prepared to let anyone else make the same mistake. "I'm not back at the Academy yet. Maybe I should go see her family. They don't deserve to hear it over the phone."

"Bitch, please."

"What did you call me?"

"You don't want to see them face to face. They get angry, lash out, you get hurt. You really want more scars?" But Leo had to wonder. Did those kinds of wounds ever really heal? They left scars but that just meant the cut had closed, formed a fragile protective tissue, and faded into silvery lines.

"He's right." A cool draft blew through the cracked open window. Jaye shuddered and ignored it, not even thinking about it. She crossed her legs and wriggled herself into a more comfortable position. "You didn't meet them. I did. It'll be easier coming from me, babe."

Ouch. Low blow.

Dina batted the remark away. "Maybe not. There's a reason doctors keep a professional distance."

"You're not a doctor," Leo pointed out. "And you're not going." With two sets of eyebrows arrowed at him, he went on, "Look, you put Rohypnol in her drink and you put a damn bullet in her brain – I'm-" The next words died on his lips before even the anticipated storm of indignation.

"Jaye, is something the matter? You're shivering. And sweating." Dina scooted closer and put the back of her hand to her friends' forehead. As ever, she was neither especially hot or cold but there was an odd clammy feel to her skin. For some reason, that rang wrong. "Maybe you're sick. Leo, get a blanket."

The hard edge of a bad attitude drained out of his face as he saw Jaye's trembling form, barely able to sit upright without leaning on Dina for support. Jaye might be an abhorration to humanity; the antithesis of everything he had ever believed in, his religion, his entire world-view, but he was developing the first shadows of respect for this five foot nothing energy bomb. They'd fought together. That earned her the crumpled duvet he rescued from the floor-monsters. "I thought Shades didn't get ill."

"We don't. We shouldn't," Jaye chattered and let Dina continue.

"Normally, they can fight off infection before it takes hold. Viruses need oxygenated cells to breed and Shades don't have any... not necessary like it is for us. Germs can't exist and multiply in a body with no life of its own and nothing to sustain any. No fuel."

"That's messed up, you know that."

"Sitting right here." As much as Jaye hated to admit it, Leo was right. Again. The situation was off the scale messed up. "I'm so cold. I never get cold. Do I have a fever? I feel like I have a fever."

Dina shook her head but Leo pushed past to perform the same hand-on-head assessment. "No. No fever." It was a bad sign in Jaye's book. When any of her seven younger siblings had been ill, they had always checked for a fever, believing it was the body's first fight against infection. But the Stafford children had always seemed to catch the worst dose of every disease going. It didn't seem right to feel so yucky and not be running a temperature. It didn't seem fair. "Maybe we should get Lainy up here," Leo suggested but that only earned him glares of the _are you a total dick_ variety – one glassy and unfocused, the other dark with worry. He held up his hands in mock defence. "Just a thought, weren't it? Suffer, then, if it makes you happy. But don't puke. Clean sheets."

"You don't think she's got enough to worry about right now?"

"Frankly?"

"Oh God, I'm gonna regret this but carry on." Dina made a sweep of her hands and waited. It didn't take Leo long to find the words to say.

"Honestly, no." He knew straight away that he had said it wrong. "She needs the distraction. Everything going on now is all emotions and girly crap but I seen it when it just pops its top. This is a simple problem with a simple answer."

"I'm not simple." Jaye wiped her face with trembling hands and then turned her hands over before her eyes, inspecting them as if she expected to see something other than pale skin and the ghosts of blue veins. "Something's wrong, D. Really wrong."

"Lainy's a nurse. This is medical."

"She's dead, Leo! Her body doesn't work like ours any more."

"So, make it work."

"It's not that simple. You think you can click your fingers and everything is magically alright?"

No. No, he didn't think that. There was never a cure. He'd never thought there was, but Christianity had been his saviour when times had been hard as a kid, it gave you a reason for all the wrong in the world. God, Jesus, the angels – they tore things apart just so humans could fix them. So they could put things back together and make them better than before. Otherwise, why not just leave everything perfect and untouched? "This is getting us nowhere." Leo rubbed the square of bandage on his right arm. Blood was seeping out of the edges, the soft scab breaking open were he kept pawing at his skin. "She," he pointed at Jaye, "is ill. She needs help."

"Fuck it, you need help."

"D. Something's wrong." The duvet didn't seem to be doing much to keep Jaye warm – she was still cold. It wasn't the chill she remembered from her childhood doses of flu. This was something else, something different. "I really don't feel well."

"We know, hun. We'll figure it out." Dina hoped she sounded more confident that than she felt. Truth was, she didn't have a clue what was wrong with her friend, or how to fix it. All her knowledge of Shades was from watching Jaye and Lainy go about their lives and nothing like this had ever happened before. Becoming one of them was an inevitability, Dina knew that and hated it with every inch of her will, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. It didn't mean she thought about it more than was strictly necessary though. "Come on, let's get you to bed. You should rest."

"Genius idea," Leo muttered. "Sick people need R and R. Praise the revolution."

"Shut up and help."

He moved over and took Jayes' right arm, glancing down. The thin pink scar was shimmering in and out of existence. Her skin was slick with sweat and she started to slip out of his grasp, slowly crumpling up. He could easily have picked her up and carried her back into her own double room but it didn't look as though Jaye would appreciate the gesture. "No."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't think moving her is a good idea." He eased her back on to his bed and covered her up. Jaye was asleep before Leo even said his next words. "You said it yourself – we don't know her physiology. Lainy does. I'm not losing anyone else because I don't know the right things to do."

"Is this your twisted, fucked up way of saying you care?"

He snorted, not even bothering to dignify that with a response. "I'll take Katie's room tonight."

"We need to work fast, Leo," Dina said, brushing stray black hairs behind Jaye's ears. "Something just isn't... I don't know if it's wrong, but it scares me. If Shades can suddenly get sick then everything I thought I knew is wrong. I can barely get my head around this as it is."

"Chill, suicide girl. We'll fix it." He grabbed some clothes and his bag, pulled the bedroom door almost shut behind them and stopped at Katie's door. "We just need to know what the problem is first."

Dina watched him pick up his things and – _is he going to college tomorrow? Today?_ – wondered if she shouldn't speak to Jaye when she woke up. If anyone knew anything, Jaye was the only one qualified to tell her how she felt. She reached out to touch the trickles of blood she noticed seeping beneath his bandaged arm. There was something... It was dark and thick and it whispered dark promises. If she could only touch it... What might happen if she gave in to that impulse? Would her life be boring but safe as it had before her18th birthday? Would the current state of thrilling danger carry on? Perhaps the world would end? Maybe, just maybe, it would be something different. Blood. It was so vital, so _necessary_. And somehow, and to some question she didn't even know, it promised all the answers. But, the moment the heat from her skin touched his, Leo turned on her, attitude and aggression firmly back in place. Why was he so uncomfortable with letting the real man show through? But one look in his flashing, dark blue eyes prevented Dina asking the question. She was still looking for the right words as Katie's door slammed in her face.

# Chapter six

"Never thought I'd be back here." Katie stood in the relatives waiting room in the hospital opposite Shimma, as he contemplated the various flavours of soup in the new vending machine. They probably all tasted the same. "I still hate it."

"Don't be a baby. You're not the one getting your hand stitched."

"That one," she pointed out. "Green bean and wild mushroom. I used to have that at my old school. It's nice."

Shimma frowned at her for a few moments, inspected the options for a bit longer then sighed, put his pound in and selected the mushroom picture. A swampy looking liquid glooped its' way into a polystyrene cup. "You know, you didn't have to come with us."

"Hey, I saw the way you two were looking at each other. I'm not babysitting any mini-Keepers. No, you pair need a chaperone." She listened for any sounds of life beyond the door but, other than a cleaner wheeling a mop and bucket at the end of the corridor, the place might well have been empty. The night meant skeleton staff at the student medical centre, which served as hospital for the town, although sickness in Northwood was pretty rare. It was a good bet that this place had never seen as much action as it had since Katie had arrived in town. She herself had sustained any number of cuts and bruises and near death experiences; Dina had spent over a week in a coma here; Uncle Billy had come here after she had tried to gouge his eye out; she had even locked Jaye in one of the treatment rooms after putting around fifty thousand volts through her. And now Marcie was shut away, alone, being sewn together by one of the two nurses working tonight.

How many people had begun and ended their lives here? Certainly the cool room they sat in had seen its fair share of beginnings. Katie and Marcie had met here. One of the doctors, Dr de Rossa, had likely begun mentoring her former house mother in this room. It had been in this room even that she had started thinking of this tiny town as her home. "I fell in love here."

"You what?" Shimma looked sharply over at her. His soup was still too hot to drink. He blew on it. "Katie, I know I'm fabulous but-" he muttered to cover his shock. Yes, he had known Katie and that cowboy kid were pretty serious about each other but – jeez – the girl meant it. It wasn't the infatuated teenage gloss filming her eyes, that was love and loss and it was real. It was deep, so deep, deep enough to take her away for good. Shimma knew he would do anything in his considerable power to take that hurt away. Katie was a child and he had a duty to protect her from the hardness of the world until she came of age – eighteen by Northwood standards. No stretch of the imagination could extend that duty to shielding her heart though.

There were rules.

"Not bad," he murmured after his first gulp.

"Told you. Never doubt me." She slapped him lightly on the chest, the way she would have done a few days ago when they were just friends, joking and playing. Her hand touched his soft denim shirt and she was suddenly reminded that they were more than colleagues now, and she _shouldn't have been able to do that_. Her hand should have dropped right through Shimma. But this... being able to touch again... it confused Katie. She thought back over the night – he had held her hand before. Yes, he could touch her in this world – the only one who could do so now. And that seemed all kinds of wrong.

An old television on a bracket over the door was playing a black and white film on mute. It looked like one of those old slapstick ones where the village idiot tried to crack a coconut with an inflatable hammer or something else quite mad. Katie sat back and crossed her arms to watch, hoping sleep would take her over, take her under, take her away. To Jack. Even if they only had one hour together – it would be enough. As long as she was not here any more. She closed her eyes and tried to conjure him up in her mind. It was as easy as the alphabet and as natural as blinking. A perfect picture of Jack – the smile, the scars, the damn leather jacket that even psychically smelled of straw and dirt. _Grave dirt_. That wasn't a pleasant thought but somehow Katie could always ignore that fact, the fact that the soil under his fingernails was likely the mud he had been buried in, and enjoy just being with him.

_Why?_ The image of him asked, reaching out, extending a hand to her so desperately that Katie wished she could be inside her own head to take it. _Why did you fall in love with me, Lady Katie? Why did you make me love you first?_

_I don't..._ she bit her lip and tried to forget that life was still going on outside her body. Her ghost of a body. _I don't think we get to decide who we love._

No. That sucks.

Preaching to the choir, cowboy. I want to see you again. Not like this but properly. And I don't know how to get to you.

Whatever's happenin' out there – it's my fault.

Do you know something about Shadow Boy? If you do, you need to tell me because he is freaking me the fuck out.

I'm runnin' every night, every day, but it's mostly night around here, trying to find something out but nothing yet. Other than, y'know...

No.

Y'know. That-

And then a wave of purple black energy blasted through some hidden part of her mind and his image was blown apart. It tore through Katie like a particularly vicious disease, singeing nerves on its way past. The whole thing was far too fast to work out if the dark energy had been malevolent in intent, evil or twisted. While it lasted, the pulse just felt... desperate. Maybe it hadn't meant to shatter this beautiful fantasy or break the first moments of peace she had known since returning to the world. None of it mattered. It had taken Jack away. She hated it for that.

"JACK!" Katie screamed his name, barely aware that she was doing it. She felt a terrible, animal scream being pulled out of her – the inconsolable child after a favoured toy has been taken away – but was deaf to any coherent word around that sound. "NO!"

"Girl, you're deep in broken heart land."

"Shimma?" Katie opened her eyes on a blur of a room. She washed her face with the hem of her dress and then touched her face. Tears. Real ones that she had cried. "Something just took Jack away. We were talking and then a ball of black energy rushed him and he just got blasted to bits. Any ideas?"

But then Marcie walked in and held up a hand that had been cleaned of blood and glass and neatly stitched up with tiny black crosses. "I feel like a patchwork doll," she muttered, wiggling her fingers and grimacing with every tiny movement. Her relieved groan when she flopped down into the seat beside Shimma spoke volumes more about the depth of her exhaustion than words ever could. "Is Tuesday over yet?"

"It's a little before dawn on Wednesday," Shimma said. He pulled Marcie back against him and circled her shoulders until he felt her relax into his chest just a little. There was no question of him putting her back into that artificial sleep of a few hours ago – she was hurt and medicated; the glassy shine of her eyes told him that. No supernatural influence could outweigh chemical interference. Humans had to be trusted to care for their own. "We'll wait for the pharmacy to bag you up some poppers, then I'm taking you home."

"What about-"

"What about nothin'. I'll see your boy's sorted for the day."

"You'll be okay? He doesn't know you well."

Katie drifted over to a corner and sat on the floor, legs out in front of her. The position was good for stretching during a workout but she had fallen into a habit of sitting like this whenever she had a difficult problem to think about. Much of her revision in high school had been done like this and now it seemed quite soothing. A few square feet of complete stasis in a world of chaos and confusion.

It wouldn't be like this if I wasn't here.

But she _was_ still walking this earth and, dammit, she wanted to stay. Yes, an eternity of nothingness and sweetness with Jack called to her but he had warned of the danger. When she had dreamed of him yesterday, she had felt despair and terror. Something had destroyed even the moving picture of him this morning. Whatever he had been running from, it wanted to wipe out every tiny bit of him. It wanted to consume the presence he held in her heart. It wanted to hurt him in the Dead World. It wanted Jack to never have existed. And Katie damn sure wasn't going to let that happen. If she had to rip a hole in that door back at the club and drag Jack out to keep him safe, even if hurt, then she would. But not tonight. Tonight (this morning, although it was still dark enough to feel like night) there were other things to worry about. As hard, as impossible as it was, Katie had to believe that the boy she loved was safe enough for now. Too bad safe enough didn't actually mean safe. Honestly, being in a relationship with him had always been risky. Every stolen moment together had come with a price and they had paid their debts in blood and pain: to Jack's killer, to their friends, to each other. However much they gave, however much they risked, it was never going to be enough. Not for the peaceful months they needed to live and love and work out if they were really meant to be together. Because, if they were the soulmates Jack seemed to think – if they shared one heart beat – then it shouldn't be this hard. The world should be encouraging them... not trying to tear them apart so hard.

Katie shuddered, dimly aware of eyes boring into the back of her head. Turning, it was Shimma staring at her, his eyes flashing with familiar shadows. Gone half a moment later.

"Something wrong?"

He held a finger to his lips, more to indicate that he couldn't speak with a not-quite-asleep woman propped against him. _When you fall in love you fall hard, dontcha?_

"Yes," Katie replied, not seeing a need to speak with her mind too. Marcie shouldn't be able to hear her but if she had a funny moment, like she had earlier, getting the briefest glimpse of a world even a Northwood resident had no right to, it could likely be passed off as some kind of hallucination. "What's the point in loving at all if you don't give it all you've got?"

You might get hurt.

"I might not." She wondered if they were actually discussing her or him and Marcie. "You never know until you let it play out."

And if it's against the rules?

Right. So they were talking about him now. "I think that ship has sailed. I'm right, aren't I?"

He nodded, still stroking Marcie's cheek, but didn't say anything else.

"Keepers have this magic to create. That's what they poured into the silver yesterday. They, I'm just guessing here so correct me if I get it wrong, can also reverse that magic and use it to... _un_ create." Shimma still didn't say anything so Katie ploughed on. "And because the sheriff wasn't supposed to be in this world... he wasn't, everything about him felt wrong. Slimy and wrong. But they couldn't just, like, blip him away. A tiny bit of that power went into the badge and it had to be channelled through me to work. You know – the Einstein thing – balance and that."

It didn't have to be you. You could have asked one of us. Anybody would have done it.

"Yes, it did. Shimma, I'm 16. A kid. I. Don't. Matter."

You matter. You mattered enough for them to bring you here in the first place.

Once more, she saw the puddle of her own blood on the shiny dancefloor. Even if it was cleaned away, it would keep coming back until she was no longer trespassing in the mortal realm. Just as the sheriff she had fought, and lost to, was terrorising a world he had no place in. And when he was no longer around, nor could Katie be. "You have some of that magic and you used a bit of it on me. You saw me, felt me, slipping away, and created this phantom for me. Which is breaking the rules. I mean, having me lingering on messes with their order, right. They made me decide to go but you – you didn't even break a rule Shimma! You punched right through it until it splintered!" Things were starting to click into place like the edge pieces of a jigsaw. Things were fixing together but there was still a long way to go before she could see the full picture. "Hypothetically speaking, if the Keepers, you know – the ones _up there_ ," Katie lowered her voice as if somebody might be listening and pointed to the cracked ceiling. "If they got word that I was here, and not in the Dead World or the End Place or where-ever the hell I belong, would they send people after me?"

Shimma could not deny that he had considered the possibility too. After seeing the spirits trying to touch Katie through the portal in the club. After feeling that dark tornado of a figure burn by him and try to drag Katie with it into another dimension. Having seen all that, he would be a fool not to wonder. But _I doubt it. I don't see no way they could have worked it out._

"For arguments sake. What if they did? Would they try to take me back?"

_Maybe. You think that something's trying to take you away. The same thing that hurt Jack._ He seemed to be thinking to himself now, the words were hazy and unformed, the vague sounds people made when they were making mental connections. Shimma shifted his arm from under Marcie and carefully laid her down on the seat he had just vacated. But he didn't leave her side or let go of her unstitched hand. Sweet. But there was no chance of him leaving. Not even if it meant just breaking contact to move to the other end of the room. The red haired woman stirred in her uncomfortable-looking sleep and unconsciously tucked his hand under her chin. Katie looked away. That kind of touch, that profound a comfort, was nothing she would ever know again.

Her body was still here. She could hear it still, singing, keening in that thin and broken voice. It was surprisingly easy to ignore. At least it was when she began wondering if her parents knew yet. Who would tell them? What would they say? And then she knew, knew without an echo of doubt that she had to go home, had to see them, had to say her own goodbye. Had to make this easier. On a wish and a prayer to Leo's God, Katie decided that her plan would work - had to work – and headed out into the corridor. Shimma sent her a warning before she disappeared; _don't do anything stupid._

I'm going to the mortuary. How much trouble can I get into with a bunch of corpses?

As Katie faded through the wall to the hospital mortuary – she could have waited for people to open doors but she was a ghost so, hey, why not use the perks? – the tinny sounds of a radio drifted through the air. Somebody was working down in this quiet corner of the building. It was likely the quietest time and the staff could get on with their jobs without haring around on other jobs or looking after upset relatives. It seemed purely logical. It was a small town and the town mortuary probably didn't really need a team of its own, considering that nobody stayed down for long. No, they probably multi-functioned as regular doctors. For the living. Katie stood beside the chairs her friends had occupied less than 24 hours ago. Here, she felt close to them. The seats gave off clouds of colour – the energy they had all left behind them. Not enough to give her anything more than the impression of a sadness. It wasn't the intense grief Katie realised she had been hoping for. It wasn't leaving raw, bloody flashes of loss. Some tears had been shed. No-one had cared as much about her as she had about them. It set an ache gnawing deep in her gut, but it made the next few minutes easier. She stepped through the wall and glanced at the metal table in the centre of the room.

Even though the long, slim body on it had been covered with a black plastic sheet, it was as horrifying a sight as it had been yesterday. A hand was just visible under the covering. Her left – pink and sore with freshly healed burns. Ghost Katie held her own next to it and compared them. Hers looked long healed and, under a fading tan, could well have been the remnants of an injury from childhood.

"Okay, that's weird," she murmured and blinked a few times. It was confusing to see her own body just inches away and not be actually in it.

Just above the exposed part of her hand was a plastic ID band naming her CARTWRIGHT, KATHLEEN and giving her a number. Pretty soon, her physical form would be reduced to a toe tag and a body bag in one of the lockers. But there was no time to dwell on that. No time to feel the complete emptiness inside.

"You were right, Roy," she said, referring to the kind old man who worked as caretaker to Levenson Academy of Sport and Action, looking over some of the sports facilities the academy used. But he did much more than that. The student body almost all knew and loved him. And he, in return, and with his frail but ever so strong wife, loved and cared for each student as they grew from newly arrived children to adults who would likely live and die here. A few days ago, the man had died of a huge heart attack. The town had mourned his passing but the Keepers seemed to have decided the town needed him more than they thought. So they gave him back. "I really don't belong here any more. I'm going home."

And home was Worth, where she had grown up.

But the words were not going to take her away from this place. Making the simple statement of intent had no power. How had she moved last time? Why had she gone directly to Jack? All she remembered was a crippling fear. Watching a faceless medic cutting into her helpless naked body – distanced and disconnected from his actions beyond a faint hatred that he should ever be conducting a post mortem on a teenager. Faking fear was sadly out of reach – she could only get to a mild fright, a veneer that trembled towards breaking point because there was no reason, no body horror to witness and believe in. _You went where your heart took you, did what it told you to._ Her former managers' words floated back to her and then it was simple. Hold Worth in her heart; fill her entire being with thoughts of her family, the places she used to find her sanctuary in. And it sounded easy enough. If only it wasn't so _hard_. Because Katie couldn't, _couldn't_ , remember the finer details of their faces. Hadn't she been warned though? Hadn't Jaye told her that she would begin to forget them?

"Come on, Katie," she pep-talked herself. "You can do this."

It was not happening.

As she was watching her dead flesh grow cooler with every degree the air con dropped the temperature, a door somewhere up the corridor creaked open loudly. The hospital was beginning to come to life. The morning staff change over was starting and voices were shouting incomprehensibly at each other. So busy was she trying not to pay attention to the life going on so close to her, focusing solely on her body and getting away, Katie didn't notice the black mist crawling along the floor. She did notice it as it rose up just a foot or two to her right, coalescing into the roughly human shape of Shadow Boy. Before he could finish forming though, she threw up an arm to protect her face from some imaginary blow, and shouted, "I WANT TO GO HOME!"

There was a very long moment when the whole world seemed to freeze, like everything was being put on pause while some higher force decided what to do. There was just time enough to enjoy the hunch of confusion in Shadow Boy before the room dissolved into nothing.

# Chapter seven

More nothing replaced it. Then more. More, more, more.

Finally a chink of light moved into place, give the blank space around Katie a faint navy glow that seemed to get brighter and brighter the longer she stared. Silver light poured through jagged holes torn into this midnight blanket, light that made everything featureless in contrast. Holes in the fabric of space and the energy of the heavens was leaking through. The beams were filling the void with white light, a pure power that seemed to eat away at the darkness. The bullet holes of avenging angels.

Floating in the vacuum of the timeless space, Katie twisted over onto her back until she had achieved the closest position to lying down as was possible. A thousand silver laser beams rushed over her body. She was calm, just hanging there, floating in the darkness where there was no air to support her and no air to breathe. It should have panicked her. Should have, but didn't. Here, in this moment, she existed nowhere but inside her own soul. Very soon, she knew, this bliss would be over. But here, now, she would lie back and forget the mortal world was beneath her. She would not think of darkness or death, killers and kidnapping, fear or fantasy. There was nothing but glory, silver and shimmering. The blackness all around her was fading, washed to navy then royal blue, powder blue, cloud grey and then, at last, white. She was floating up. Up through the skies and clouds and hovering in a wonderful, twisted plane she had visited once before and never wished to see again.

It was okay.

Katie floated.

The mortal world was far below her; full of tiny people living tiny lives.

You don't belong there now.

Katie imagined herself being pulled down by gravity and settled her suddenly bare feet on a cool silver bridge. On either side of her was a thirty foot drop to an icy river, paradoxically heated by a fire beneath the unbroken surface. She wasn't worried. Her balance was faultless, better than an average girls', better than the training had made it. It was supernaturally perfect.

You're with us now.

Katie sank to her knees for a moment, awestruck by the land before her. The land of the Creators and the Keepers. She stood on a bridge of silver infused with the magic that kept the living away from this world. Before her, the silver bridge stretched on almost until the colours blended with the white sky and the creamy arches of broken bone in the distance. A thin mist of silver and gold drifted over the ground. Not the sinister black of before. This was pure and good. There it swirled but Katie could not move towards it. It was too beautiful, too intense, she was not worthy of it. This – this was the energy of life. The silvery mists swirled harmlessly on the floor but they were hypnotic – not giving her a moment to look away. It wasn't safe to stop watching it. As surely as it was the goodness of the Keepers, it was hard and logical and would not hesitate to take her out of the world if they saw fit.

But I want to be with them. _Katie wasn't sure if she thought or spoke the words. None of it felt real. It was as if she was walking through a dream and couldn't think of a single question the waking version of herself might ask. Nothing seemed important. She rose from her crouch in one smooth movement –_ not right, not right at all _– her sunny tennis dress hanging off her in rags and tatters. Thoughts of Jaye teaching her how to clothe her phantom form floated through her head. Vaguely knowing it wouldn't work, she considered her pitiful excuse for a wardrobe._

You can stop that Katie. Those rules don't work up here.

Where is here?

A place you should never have been brought to. We know what has been done to you. What Shimma has done. He will be punished.

The silver beneath her skin was making her feet tingle. It was no dream now. No dream contained a feeling somewhere short of discomfort and so far from pleasure. It was... awareness. Sensation. And it was very very real.

Before you come back to us...

Katie took a step back. And another. Still, the thin, metallic fog did not move an inch closer although it seemed/sounded curiously threatening, in a passive kind of way. Like it was only predicting the inevitable. It spoke for the Keepers, she realised, and for the Creators too. Once again, she moved closer. Even though they hadn't saved her yesterday, they had given her the chance to take the sheriff down with her. Hearing them out was the least she could do.

... you should see them one last time.

Katie spun on her tiptoes and faced a shimmering wall of shadow and hints of energy. She threw herself towards it, just wanting to get out, get away from this place and find her family. The Keepers spoke the truth. For whatever reason, and no matter what she did, this place would have her back. Until then she had to spend every minute with the people she loved because each moment might be the last.

Before she hit the curtain though, a tendril of golden mist brushed across her left shoulder. Cold. It traced the scar along her collarbone.

_Real_ , whispered into her head.

It was gone as soon as it had touched Katie.

The bright fantasy world dissolved around her. broke apart and left Katie falling. Plunging through a million and more colours. A dizzying rush of red, blue, green. Burnt orange, twilight purple and poison yellow. Shades and tones that had no name and no place on any spectrum. There was no feeling, no sound, just this sickening kaleidoscope but she was falling so fast – _holy crap fast_ – that the air screamed as it tore past her. Far below was Northwood, identifiable by the few spots of light but mostly by the complete stillness radiating up from the town. Except there. Right where her home – her house, she reminded herself, it could not be her home any longer – was buried somewhere under an aura of shattered darkness, slashed with red lines like open wounds. There was pain there; a deep hurt, confusion, fury and fear. It was pouring out of the house, pumping out like there would never be an end. And there was no time to sink further down through the skies to investigate. Katie cried out at the intangible current pulling her through the new dawn. Why wouldn't it let her go to them and patch up the lesions in the calm? But there was no time for explanations. Real life would go on whether she understood it or not: this town would carry on with or without her. Just because it had to. Realisation hit her hard and fast – _I don't even matter_ – and then, almost as if the air was rejecting both her and her words, it dropped her.

Katie was falling impossibly far.

No, it was entirely possible, it just was unnerving when she didn't hit the ground after a few seconds. A feeling crawled across her, making her shiver in mid-flight, and she could only liken it to trying to swim against the current of the sea. It rolled over her again and again. Katie refused to open her eyes, knowing that she would see ground rushing up to her and never getting any closer, or the drag marks she was making as she plunged through the air – if ghosts made any impression of that kind. Either way, it would start a new headache. She was just wondering how much more of this she could take, when she ploughed through a solid surface and felt her body being brought to a slow stop on top of something hard/soft and not entirely comfortable.

"Ohhh," she groaned as motion sickness threatened to spill over. Katie swallowed, not tasting the bitter acid of vomit that she expected and opened her eyes to the grey felt of a car roof. There was a slight rocking and the manic whirring of an engine in need of a gear change. There was a muttered expletive and a clunk as the gearbox finally found fifth and calmed down. "Damn thing!"

_Dad?_ It was too much to hope for.

There was a sharp intake of breath and the first tremors of a piercing scream from beside her. On instinct alone, and not even thinking about the source of the noise beyond keeping it quiet, she lunged over the seat to a younger girl and slapped a hand over her mouth holding the shriek in. Whether the potential screamer could feel her hand or had simply thought the better of it would never be known. Katie waited in that position until she felt the warm tickle of breath beneath her fingers return to an eerily familiar rhythm. _No, best not get too carried away._ But she couldn't resist turning her head and looking at the girl she was keeping quiet. She thought she recognised her just by the breathing pattern but there was more. Much more. Stuff that Katie hadn't even realised she had noticed. Those golden streaks in her dirty blonde hair. That freckle just to the right of the tip of her nose, at least twice the size of the hundred others. The patch of red on one hand where she always rubbed. The constant vibrating of a small body thrumming with the energy of youth.

"Oh my God, I've missed you loads Dan!"

She stared into her sisters' brown eyes and saw a jumble of emotions so tangled the best shrink in the world could not unravel them. Behind everything, though, was a calm, unshakeable quality; complete belief. It was so deeply hidden beneath confusion and doubt and a million other things... but it was there. Dan believed, on some level, that Katie was really sitting on the backseat and wrapping her in an awkward sideways hug.

"Are you okay back there?" a woman called back from the front passenger seat, scrubbed raw hands fiddling with the buttons on the radio. "Do you need to stop for a bit?"

Before the pause could get suspiciously long, Katie hissed out a warning. "Don't say a word!"

Too shocked to argue or ask questions, Dan shook her head. "I'm fine, Mom. I just thought I wanted to cry but I don't. It's all good," she said with the most unconvincing smile ever.

"I think we should pull in at the next services anyway, hun. I could use some air."

"Mom speak for she needs a wee," Katie recalled. Dan laughed but quickly covered her mouth and turned to look at the black platforms she was wearing. School shoes if ever there were any. "Seriously? You wear three inch heels to school?" Not that Katie hadn't done it herself at times. It was just that her baby sister was... well, apparently her not-quite-so baby sister now. She had rarely seen Dan outside trainers or flat sandals in the last ten years. If she couldn't climb a tree in it – she wasn't wearing it. "What day is it?"

Dan opened her mouth to speak but Mom gave her a wide eyed look in the rearview mirror and she closed it again. She made a W by lacing her fingers together.

"Wednesday." Thank God. She might not even have been missed yet. Something more important came to mind. "Why aren't you at school?" she asked, instantly feeling like a fussy old maid.

Dan bent down to the backpack full of munchies she had in the footwell and fished out her Nintendo 3DS. She flicked out the stylus and scrolled until she found a program she could use to type a message.

Clever girl. Mom and Dad can't hear me but they can hear you.

IT'S HALF TERM HOLIDAYS. OFF UNTIL NEXT WEEK.

_I've been gone a whole week?_ Yeah, she had definitely been missed! Oh no, that meant she'd missed Freddie's birthday too. She hoped he'd had a good day; Jaye would have tried to make it as much fun as possible. "Oh. I must have lost track of time." Katie took in the fields and occasional signs outside the window as the car they were in moved slowly along a jammed motorway. "Going anywhere nice?"

HOME, Dan typed.

"Jeez, you're a conversational little madam!" Katie had almost forgotten she had been like that not so long ago. It just felt so good to be picking up other people for it now – and when you happened to be related to that person... bonus. "I'll rephrase; been anywhere nice?"

Dan threw her a look that could slice steel, or dirty an angel. YOUR FUNERAL.

For the next few minutes, Katie didn't speak. The words she wanted to say seemed fake. "I'm sorry," sounded so empty, so wrong. There was nothing to apologise for. She was only sorry she hadn't lived longer and given her family a better chance at going on without her. A couple of miles of emptyish road opened up, they sped down it, then got choked up in tail-backs again. A car in front of them beeped its' horn and the driver put on his left indicator to try to switch lanes. All four lanes soon snarled up with them only managing another hundred metres before the road was completely clogged again.

ARE YOU REAL?

Katie shrugged, no more able to answer that than a question on the quantum mechanics of space travel. It just wasn't on the college syllabus. She knew what the meaning of life was though. _Forty two._ She was a ghost. Her body was in the ground. She had no physical presence whatsoever; no pulse, no breath, none of the things that scientists defined human life by. And yet, she felt real. The heat and the chill, the scratchy upholstery, the bulk of a small girl when they had hugged. Even if those feelings were just psychosomatic, _that_ was all the reality Katie needed.

YOU'RE HERE BUT WE JUST... WE LEFT YOU SOMEWHERE ELSE. HOW CAN YOU BE HERE?

"Looks like something may have happened up ahead." Dad pulled the handbrake on and tapped his fingers on the steering wheeling, straining forward to see better. "Blues and twos are out in force."

"You know why I'm here."

Dan started tapping away again, writing the next instalment in a conversation that would only end up going round in circles.

At the sound of a police helicopter whirring somewhere above them, Katie knew she had to go. Leaving the safety of this tin can seemed like a bad idea. In her incorporeal bones, she knew that whatever waited for her out there was going to be a hundred times worse than an awkward conversation. And still, not going to help was unthinkable.

"Open the door."

Dan didn't move. Perhaps she suspected where her older sister was going; what she was planning to do. Why did twelve year olds have the infuriating habit of being right all the time? They were coldly logical and saw everything as a good or a bad thing to do. A million shades of grey didn't even exist. But, when you had seen everything Katie had seen, black or white had no place on the radar. Everything was grey. She had to do things she did not want to just because those were the rules.

"Open the fucking door, Dan, or I'll-" Katie blinked, realising that she had just sworn at her little sister. And not in the jokey, flip way they used to use when making fun of people that they disliked, but with vehemence and violence. Why? There was nothing on this Earth important enough to make her speak to a twelve year old like that. Nothing and no-one. She was just lucky neither of her parents had heard her. Foul language wasn't the hugest no-no in the world for the Cartwright family – it wasn't exactly everyday vocabulary but they sure knew there were worse crimes – but saying the F word and meaning it in such an edged way were two very different things.

Katie opened her mouth to apologise to Dan and found herself outside the car and staring down rows of cars at distant police tape and hastily erected STOP and ACCIDENT HERE signs. As she watched, the overhead dot matrixes stopped warning drivers of a dramatic slow down in traffic movement and started instructing them to turn off at an earlier junction and find another route. Considering the warning was a little redundant if motorists were this far down, and the police weren't _completely_ stupid – whatever Katie's personal experience had shown – they had to have been altered for quite some distance. ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL CLEARANCE flashed up but Katie had a sinking feeling about this. The dreaded 5 HOURS+ blinked up. That meant the emergency crews were expecting to be working here well into the night. And that, in turn, meant this was bad. Really, really bad. Something called her forward – something she couldn't ignore and didn't think she wanted to. Onwards between cars and the occasional van or lorry and she was standing at the edge of the cordon. The police had been canny enough to park their vehicles in such a way that rubber-neckers couldn't get their look at the accident without leaving the comfort of their cars. Unfortunately, it meant Katie couldn't see either.

_You're a ghost,_ spoke up Sergeant Voice.

Thanks for that. I nearly forgot.

She could always count on her sub-conscious to state the obvious.

You're a ghost. A ghost. You're a damn ghost girl!

Finally she got it. The officers on duty wouldn't see her if she ducked under the twisted plastic tape and got closer to the scene. An invisible force gently bade her go forward. Katie got through the cordon and through the milling hi-vis clad men and women, past the sensory assault of idling engines spewing exhaust fumes, flashing lights and blaring sirens which- teamed with the tang of blood and burning metal and the constant buzz of industrial cutting equipment –was enough to bring Katie to her knees. How used she had gotten to the crisp, clean air of Northwood with only two motor vehicles in the town and the odd car passing through and generally not being very happy about it. Less weeks than she had fingers on both hands, and Katie was practically choking at the onslaught. Even though she technically didn't breathe or feel now, her brain was still processing all this stimuli and sending her right to the edge. But she couldn't afford to go over. Ohhh no. Giving in to this sensory overload now would stop her from getting to the actual accident site. And that was where she wanted – _needed_ – to be. Why, she had no idea. It wasn't as though there was anything she could do to help. Even a few steps further, behind this monster of a fire engine, and the mangled wreck of a car would be waiting, maybe with paramedics trying to save the driver while rescue workers tried to cut the roof off. Maybe there would be breathless screams and a panic to treat the injured person. Underlying it all would be the crashing waves of the traffic behind the cordon, so uncaring as they whined and whinged about being a bit late to where-ever they were headed.

"Shut up," Katie said to the open air and flexed her fingers. No-one was sounding their horn, flashing their lights or even shouting out the window but all the same, she could hear them as if they were.

Can't they go faster?

Never get home at this rate.

Now which dickhead can't drive?

Come on. Hurry up guys.

Pain in the arse, these things are.

For God's sake, get a move on.

It's not my fault some idiot can't drive.

Katie turned on her heel, unable to ignore the hostilities any longer. "Shut up! Just shut. The hell. Up. This is not just an inconvenience, this is serious! People might be dying!"

And she knew then. As she slowly turned back around and baby stepped forward until she was in full view of the crash site, her mind chewed over all possible explanations and spat out the least pleasant one.

The Keepers had brought her here.

That meant one of two things. Well, she could only think of two possibilities at that very moment. The chaos had probably scared off a dozen other explanations so the two options she had left were obviously the most likely. And _oh my God_ why was she babbling to herself? _Distraction technique._

The first explanation was pretty much a certainty as she steeled herself to look at the crash. A car hadn't simply clipped another as it tried to traverse the lanes. It wouldn't, would it? A multi-car pile-up greeted her. An articulated lorry was jack-knifed around them, tipped onto its' side and cars which had managed to stop before they ploughed into it had been shunted from behind by others who had not noticed and now there was just a mess of contorted metal and burnt rubber. A handful of people were standing and staring in shocked silence; some were being treated at the side of the road for minor injuries, and emergency personnel flitted from one hunk of metal to another, trying to keep tabs on the people who were still trapped. And there _had_ to be some. Where Katie expected the air to be ringing with screams and hollers, there was mostly silence and the weight of quiet agony. She longed to fill that void. Longed for something – _any_ thing – to fill the hush. There was nothing but more merciless silence. It only added to the lead anvil in her stomach. Somebody was going to die here today. Maybe more than one person. From even this considerable distance Katie could see pools of blood, scraps of fabrics torn away by broken windscreens, chunks of flesh gouged out; nobody could survive this kind of carnage for long.

Which thought led her to the second possibility. The Keepers were testing her in some way. She was obviously here for a reason – the desperate need she had felt to leave her family behind and get along here had been more than just morbid curiosity – it had been the Keepers forcing her here. But why? Katie touched her thundering head as she thought. _What's the ghost equivalent of paracetamol? Maybe I should just take my entire head off and give it a good old scrub. Hey, maybe the headless horseman had the same idea. Pack it in, girl. Get your shit together and think!_ Why? What possible use could the Keepers, a group (or maybe just the one) of God-like beings she really had not even seen and only spoken to very briefly, have for an underage dead girl? Why were they putting her through this? What were they hoping to achieve? What did they expect her to do? Yet, however little sense the situation made, however little she could actually _do_ , she had to try.

Even if was pointless.

Dusk was creeping up on the scene and neon suits were running around with torches strapped to their hard hats.

"Can I get one of those?"

A firefighter who looked to be in charge whizzed straight past her.

"Damn, still can't see me." Irrational, yes, but she held out the fading hope that somebody around here would suddenly magically start seeing her. A first walk around the crash site had brought it home how lucky most of these people were to have even got out alive. One of the cars – it appeared to have been blue at some point – was being cut open by rescue workers whilst paramedics held a writhing man still. It must have hurt terribly. One of his legs had been broken so badly that the yellowish glow of bone stood out through a confusion of blood and muscle. At least... she _hoped_ it was a mere break. The alternative ( _amputation, amputation, involuntary amputation_ ) made her shudder. He must be able to feel every moment of contact, every minute vibration. And then the men in orange had cut the car roof off and sliced enough of one side that they could slide the man free of his prison and onto a stretcher with as little further harm as possible. They had to stick fresh pads to his leg to slow the blood loss while the man opened his mouth to yell out in pain. Katie could hardly bring herself to watch as he worked up enough energy just to whimper like a baby, but she had to watch, fearing the worst if she looked away. A squeak of wheels and an, "okay, he's good to go," and he vanished into one of the ambulances.

"He's not good to go," she barked at the sky. "He'll never be good to go again."

There was no reply but hell, yes, she knew they were listening. Watching every second of this torture.

_Okay, where next?_ Katie whipped her head around, vaguely annoyed that the wind could still turn her hair into Worzel Gummidge chic. She imagined her hair tied back in an elastic band and then decided to put one of her trusty baseball caps over it – the one with the glow in the dark NYC logo. Realising that she had left her brown fleece with Jack in the Dead World, she thought of her matching baseball jacket and shucked it almost instantly – pumping adrenalin had chased away the chill.

Over there. That's where you're needed.

There's no-one else there and I'm scared to go on my own.

Suck it up. There're more important things than your feelings.

Much as she would have liked to stand there and argue the toss, Sergeant Voice was right. Who-ever was trapped in that car needed company more than worry about whether anyone even knew they were there. She wouldn't have liked to be trapped in a metal cage alone – and there _was_ somebody in there. She knew it as surely as night followed day.

Her feet were moving before she could command them, knowing exactly where they were meant to carry her while her mind raced to catch up. "Hello!" she yelled out as she ran over to the wreck of a car, so twisted into the crash barrier that it could have been a battered roadsign or an emergency phone box. Certainly, there didn't seem to be enough room left for a human being... however badly injured. But a heartbeat fluttered out of the heap. Faint and fast. Katie raced faster, refusing to be too late. She had a heartbeat to follow and, dammit, it was going to keep beating. It seemed to take an age for Katie to reach the car. She ducked down by the blown out window but nobody was immediately visible. The pulsing sound was definitely coming from here though... The beats were faster, louder, more desperate with each pitiful thump. "Is there anyone stuck in here?" Which was quite possibly the stupidest question she had ever asked. _And there are a lot of contenders for that crown._ It was still better than the alternative. Wincing slightly, Katie asked it anyway. "Is anyone still alive in here?"

A long moment. Did she really expect a response?

Then there was a grunt/sob.

"Can you hear me?"

Another sound.

Katie dropped to her knees and crawled through the broken window, feeling the glass scrape her imaginary knees and elbows and distantly wishing she would bleed from those wounds. Knowing she could be hurt and never really feel the effects should have gladdened her – made her as giddy as a goat, Mom used to say. Instead, it depressed the crap out of her. Made her feel less _real._

I'm not a real girl.

Where the car had rolled and some flying debris or other had caved in the roof and half of the driver's side, Katie found herself looking at an impossibly dented sheet of steel. A scrap of gold muslin waved beneath it and she knew, just _knew,_ that the person she had to find was on the other side. How to get there though? Well, she was a ghost, right? And ghosts could walk through walls, right? Maybe the hospital had just been a fluke. That paranoid part of Katie made her wonder if that was all a myth and she would just end up knocking herself out or something. Shrugging, Katie decided she had to try. Nobody deserved to die alone. As a test, she pressed her hand to the metal and felt it slide through. It met a bit of resistance but hell... floating through sheet steel hardly sounded easy! Katie wiggled her fingers, feeling the tickle of air and ripped material and almost pausing to revel in another new ability, and pulled her hand back. It was fine. And it felt... odd. Like it wasn't hers any longer. Blinking away tears she finally felt as though she could cry, Katie placed it. Her hand, at the very least, felt as though it belonged to an actual phantom and not just a dead girl whose brain did not know it yet.

"Hang in there just a little longer. I'm Katie and I'm on my way. Don't freak, okay?" And that was all the warning she had time for because that invisible force pulled Katie forward until she had passed through the former roof and found herself staring down at a familiar face. Gold and green on top; white roses in her hair; eyes of silver and gold all at once. "Mademoiselle Romani." She hunkered down and saw something flicker behind her eyes. The shadows seen far too often on the faces of her friends. Mademoiselle Romani was a psychic and she knew things before they happened. And she never told what she saw if it couldn't be changed. She knew something she couldn't change, and she was not going to tell Katie what it was. "It's okay. I know what you're thinking."

Metallic eyes focused and then swam away, focused again. Breathing was getting hard – and it wasn't just the slowly deflating airbag crushing her ribs or the half a steering column piecing her chest right through.

"Sometimes people have to stay dead."

Mademoiselle Romani smiled and left a few pictures in Katie's head before her features dissolved into the altogether plainer ones of the woman who had been driving. Apparently Mademoiselle Romani could see the past as well as the future. _No time to think about that now._ The woman slumped between the driver and passenger seats was clearly in tremendous pain; she was the priority. "Can you hear me?"

Half-lidded eyes, green and brown powder all smudged, searched for the voice, strangely able to hear but not see Katie. She didn't bother to question why or how this bizarre situation was happening. All that mattered was that she had some way of communicating with the woman. "Breathe, okay."

To her credit, the woman tried to slow her panicked breathing, but the frantic, shallow breaths were making so much movement that a lung could easily tear. "Please," she rasped. "No."

"No. No what?"

The first thing that came to mind was that the woman just didn't want to die. Who did?

Katie found a gap between pieces of the splintered dashboard. "You're going to be okay." It wasn't a lie but it felt like one. As always, Katie felt guilty about it, about allowing another person to believe in something false. But the woman needed it. She had to trust things were working to save her. She had to trust she was not a lost cause. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Where..?"

"I'm right next to you." A pink-haired good luck troll dangled, lop-sided and way too smiley, from the bent rearview mirror. She instructed the woman to look in the shards of looking glass still left in the frame. For some reason Katie had a reflection. Or it could have just been that the woman was touching death and could perceive a new dimension to the world through it. Her eyes flew wide and the breathing got panicky once more. She instinctively flinched away from Katie, a devastating mix of confusion and terror tensing her body, making her heart pound like a butterfly in a tiny iron cage. What if the metal shifted and perforated her heart? "de Rossa would know what to do," Katie murmured. Even Lainy or Chris would have a better idea than her. Lainy might have mainly treated minor injuries in her years as a nurse but surely they covered gross chest trauma in training. And Chris was a paramedic and used to patching people up on the fly – maybe even people in worse states than this. Dr de Rossa, a nurse and a paramedic who'd risked his life for her, and she'd left them all behind. They should be here – not her. "Try not to move. That's kind of a stupid thing to say, huh? I mean, where are you going to go? Did I think you were going to get up and dance the Hokey Cokey? I'm an idiot."

A gasp of laughter sawed the air.

"I... like you... remind me... name?

"I'm Katie Cartwright. I'm going to stay right here until-"

Suddenly, the woman sniffed at the air and frowned.

"Smell."

"Do I?"

"No. Not... you. Outside."

Katie opened her mouth to protest – she couldn't smell a thing – but then it flooded her nostrils like it had been there all along. All these long minutes and all around her. She hadn't even noticed. Maybe she was learning, on some level, to turn off all unpleasant feelings and senses. But this sudden stink was as offensive as they came...

"Holy shit. I have to go."

...Petrol.

In the space of a few seconds, Katie had braced herself for that deep nausea and fought it back as she faded through the grotesquely twisted roof, listened with pin sharp hearing for the steady drip drip drip of a fuel leak and traced it back to the car she had just left.

"Petrol leak!" she shouted, waving her arms around.

She was roundly ignored. Had she really expected anything else? _Just 'cos one dying woman saw me, I'm suddenly thinking the whole world knows I'm here. That makes perfect sense._ So what could she do? She couldn't even alert the rescue workers to the car wreck they appeared to have missed. And even if they did notice at some point they almost certainly wouldn't catch the petrol leak in time. Nor would they probably smell it under smouldering rubber and the exhaust of ambulances revving and racing away. Petrol smelled much the same as liquid or gas. Marcie would know what to do now – she might even be able to use her mechanic skills to somehow plug the leak until it was safe. Was that even possible? Redundant question really. There was already acid-smelling liquid all over the ground. A hundred cars backed up on all four lanes behind her – about half with their engines still running in the vain hope everything would magically clear away to let them past. A rescue team was still busy chopping vehicles open with industrial strength cutters. One spark... Just one errant bolt of metallic heat... It was scary to think that it took such a tiny amount of energy to set the whole thing alight. And right at the heart of the explosion would be a woman with a probably fatal chest wound whose name she didn't even know. "Anybody! Can anyone hear me?!" It was worth one more shot. "Please! You can't..." Katie tried to shout around a sudden lump in her throat. A handful of metres away, a woman was clinging to life by her fingernails. A woman who was going to die anyway.

From blood loss, yes. A collapsed lung, I can deal with. But if that petrol tank goes up... I can't let her be blown up.

So, why wasn't she doing anything? Katie looked at the car wreck behind her with stinging tears blurring her vision and knew with cold certainty that it was too late. Whatever she did now, it was going to be too late for her.

It wouldn't be too late for everyone else though. She could still protect everyone else; accelerant based explosions weren't fussy about who they hurt. The innocent motorists and their passengers, the real-life angels who were trying to save everyone today... she could save them all herself. _And they will never even know._ But how? How could she get them to pay attention? _Think, think, think._ She was battering at the puzzle and wandering past men and women in hi-vis suits when it came to her. She stopped beside a man who seemed to be in charge of the fire crew – he was barking orders at his team and they were obeying. It might not even work. Theory was telling Katie that if she could drift through steel and glass she should be able to go through flesh and bone. If she stopped moving midway, in the middle of the body, she could possess it – control what it said and did. Just until she was finished. Going through the idea more slowly, it sounded increasingly insane. It was beyond the _section me now_ stage and well into _fetch me a strait jacket._

Oh, and wandering around a crash scene the day they put you in the ground is totally normal?

Point taken.

At least, she thought she had been buried. Wouldn't she feel it burning, breaking her into salt and ashes if they had cremated her?

Katie shivered. The flush of adrenalin was giving way to the ice of shock. Her head still ached, worse with every line of internal debate on what she was about to do. No more thinking. Thinking too much had always been her downfall. Katie stepped closer to the bigger man and closed her hands into fists, thrusting both into his chest just to be sure. Her hands sunk into him but she pulled back almost instantly.

No, no she didn't like that at all.

There was something _wrong_ about that man. Something distinctly creepy. There had been things inside him; formless and colourless but heavy. They gave the impression of evil. He was hiding a secret, a dark secret, and he'd been keeping it so long he was hoping he might forget it soon. If you kept things locked away for long enough, eventually they turned to dust. Memories that might be stories from some-one else's past. And Katie had felt them – had felt those things crawling across her skin, tracking her with slime and dirt. She never wanted to be that close to pure evil again. And yet, curiosity was about to get the better of her. She had to touch him again to find out how a man who lived to save others could have such a dark streak. She put her feet on top of his and watched them sink through steel capped boots. They looked liked some strange man/girl hybrid, separated at the calves, although nobody else could see the monstrosity that was Katie and Eric. An experimental probe of his mind once she was fully inside his body revealed his name as Eric Jones. He didn't look like an Eric. Erics didn't have any particular look, she supposed. Another light brush of his mind pulled out his position as acting leader of this rescue team while his boss was on leave in Scotland. He got to boss the guys around and that was just fine with him. He'd always liked being the one in charge. _And there it is again._ That sense of malevolence running through him like a river. What was it? How could this streak be so pure and black without growing large enough to break free? Katie delved deeper and immediately wished she hadn't. Because that darkness had broken free before now. On a cool Sunday evening in a park no more than five dozen miles from here. Instinct yelled at her to _get out of that man. Get out now!_ She fought it back and grimaced. This man, this unlikely Eric, had chased her to the ground and terrified her so completely with one stony expression that she hadn't dared make a sound as he raped her. Being inside him made her phantom flesh crawl. The memory had not faded with her lifeforce. A second was all she could afford to feel the chill of a million emotions. And then everything kicked back into high gear.

"You, number 345!" Eric yelled at one firefighter, trying to clear broken glass to the roadside. "Get onto Highways. See about getting some light out here."

"Yes sir." Number 345 hesitated.

"Was I mumbling?"

"No sir. There's a rugby club down the road. Maybe they've got some portable floods."

"Get to it then, 345."

The nameless firefighter hustled away and was instantly forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind.

But I'm in your mind.

She felt a tremor pass through Eric – not enough to signal he knew something was wrong, but enough to suggest he knew something wasn't right.

Maybe he remembered her, remembered what he did to her. How ashamed she had been afterwards. How she had smiled even when she had nightmares. How she had even pretended to be so over the attack. All those feelings and so many more bubbled up inside her, barely contained. His heart was inside her own chest now. She could reach inside to it and squeeze out every last pulse. She could hold her breath – because it no longer made any difference to her – and watch his lungs shrink, shrivel and collapse as the last atom of oxygen wheezed through his lips. And then his body would just fall away from her, used up and useless, as hers had been.

But I won't. 'Cos then I'd be just like you.

The words whispered from Katie to Eric. They were bouncing around his skull and alarm bells started ringing.

You're not getting away with it.

He was making a good show of caring. It just was not good enough now that Katie had seen what he was capable of. He was a God damn rapist! _Her_ rapist! It was so tempting to wreak her revenge right here and now.

If she didn't take control of his body and his voice, didn't alert him to the overlooked car wreck and petrol leak, it would carry on unnoticed and eventually ignite. A thousand casualties would be his fault. Injuries, both major and minor, probably even a death or dozen, and they would weigh down his conscious for the rest of his life. But she wasn't going to do that either. Not to all those innocent people. Putting in harms way the man who had haunted her days and nights for eight months wasn't worth endangering everyone else. The old Katie, the Katie who had been drowning in darkness and hate and fear, might not have thought about that... but that Katie was gone now. This girl knew there would be a time and a place for her to find justice.

Not here. Not now.

The voice was hers; it was his too. He knew what was coming.

So when?

_When it stops mattering so much. When you can hurt him without hating him, that's when._ That time might never come. But she had nothing but time to wait and see if it did.

Katie breathed deeply, trying to block out the bitter-sweet of evil. It still called to her, sang just for her, but she knew she didn't have to listen. If only she didn't have to be caught in a body suffused with it... She slid her arms into Eric's like the sleeves of a strait jacket and shook her muscles out. Every part of him was reluctantly under her control.

_Trust me. This is so much easier when you don't fight._ Maybe. And which of them it would be easier for buzzed liked a fly caught in a spiders' web.

Hands cupped to his mouth and pointing in the direction of the twisted lump of steel, Katie made Eric bellow like his life depended on it.

"Guys! Over there!"

It did.

It mattered to the victims of the crashed. It mattered to the families and friends of those people who hadn't been able to help. It mattered to every emergency worker, every volunteer, everyone who was doing their best to make this disaster... less.

Failure was not an option.

It happened regardless.

There was no explosion from the petrol tank. The woman driver died before she could be cut out. And that should have made Katie happy – not being responsible for her being burned alive, just dying naturally, if gruesomely. But those few buoyed seconds soon vanished as she continued her mad rush into each crashed vehicle and checking for any more hazards. That's where she found them. A dozen, maybe more, people huddled together in the freight of the overturned lorry. They were probably illegal immigrants – trying to hitch a ride into the country because all the lawful routes had been closed to them. She drifted a little closer. They were seeking safety. And now all but two of them were dead in the back of a lorry – never to be known or missed by another living soul. This was one large family. It was obvious now, by the same face shape, the fingers that were all so long and straight. She looked up at the older woman and young boy – her toddler grandson. Both were cuddled closer than seemed possible and muttering to each other in some Asian sounding language Katie did not understand. Their heartbeats were perilously slow and strong – like the heart knew it couldn't beat often so it was putting everything it could into the few it could manage. Very dangerous.

"This is horrible. They came to us for help," she told the air, "and all we did was kill them." She blinked in the gloom. Night was creeping in and Katie thought about her parents, her little sister, her- No, that was all the family she had. How long had she left them alone and sitting somewhere in the tailbacks? Did they miss her? Did the family feel incomplete without her?

"I get it now." Katie backed away and looked at the dying family with cold judgement. Something deep inside had shut down. What she wanted was irrelevant. The instincts that told her to save the lives she could must be ignored. Even if these two lives were saved, what chance did either of them have of surviving with broken hearts? "This is what I have to do now. I have to let you die with your family. Because that's what family does, isn't it? They can't go on with missing parts."

The older lady glanced up from the child she cradled like a doll, wrinkled and milky eyes seeming to focus on her for a moment before coming to rest on the smashed crates of pasta, sauces and soups. The woman said something in her own language. "Aabar dekha hobe." It sound like a curse and Katie stepped back, alarmed. "Aabar dekha hobe," the old lady repeated. It might have directed at the little boy or at Katie herself. All she knew was that it sounded ominous. It also sounded vaguely Indian. Dina might know what it meant.

The kid's heart gave out first. The woman stroked his hair and was rattling through her last breath when shadow hands fixed on either shoulder and pulled Katie through the side of the lorry and out into a cool night. The panic that had been so real seemed lifetimes away now that she was struggling in the steely grasp of Shadow Boy.

"What do you want from me?" she screamed in his blur of a face, feeling the wind whipping past as they flew through the night. Shadow Boy deposited Katie far away from the crash site and let go of her. He didn't say a word – just stared at her, his head slightly tilted, as if he was eyeing her up like a predator keeping watch over his prey. "If you won't answer me, I have things to do." Arm out, Katie moved to brush past him. But this figure of moving shadow was not hurting her, and Eric Jones stood behind glow in the dark police tape directing a group of firefighters as they waved cars down the one open lane. She didn't want to be anywhere near him. Not quite yet. So this was the lesser of two evils. "Who even are you?"

Shadow Boy reached out... held out a hand. Dark shapes moved and overlaid each other, shifting from charcoal grey to midnight blue to black, shining like wet ink.

It wasn't like she thought. He wasn't a boy simply swamped in darkness. He was a perfect boy who was made of the night. And yet – his digits had no fingerprints, his face had no features to speak.

"Listen, I don't know who you are or why you keep following me but I've had it. Talk to me. Or back off!"

Was this the Shadow Jack had been running from in her dream? The danger he had warned her was waiting in the Dead World if she had stayed? It seemed quite likely but, now that she had seen it a few times, it was not nearly as scary as he made out. But her skin still sprouted goosebumps when she remembered the touch of him on her; today, in the back corridor of SHIMMA, even outside her own home. House. Stood to reason, though, that one of the few people that could touch her like a physical being had tried to drag her into a land of death.

Uuuurrrrggghhh.

A groan brushed her mind – feather light and barely there. It cane from Shadow Boy and he dropped his hand back to his side, head down and shaking.

Are you... do you need to say something?

It seemed that verbal communication was beyond this creature. Mental it is. And, probably, mental I am.

Hey. Katie ducked down until she could see the undulating mass that was his face. Then she searched for eyes, remembering a psychology lesson when the tutor had said that most people followed the general direction of eye contact. Eventually, she found two dark ovals that locked on her and tracked her up. There. Now maybe we can have a conversation like real people.

Remember.

Yeah, and about you just saying random words to me-

Remember.

You can't say anything else, can you? "Jesus. Of all the stalkers in the world, I get the weird, silent, grunty one. I feel so safe." Shadow Boy moaned again and it sounded like he was sad... like he wanted to say more but didn't know how to. Then Katie realised that he might not be able to speak to her but he could probably understand every word she said. "Oh, shit."

Remember.

Stop telling me to remember! If I could, I would.

The boy wrapped her in his dark arms again, suddenly behind her before she had even noticed he had moved, and buried his face in her hair. Part of Katie desperately wanted to tear away. Get away before he dragged her with him to whatever nightmare world he had crawled from. And yet a bigger part of her, the part that existed on emotion and impulses, forced herself limp and still inside his clutches. As long as he was here and chasing after her all the time, Jack was safe. If only there was a way to tell him he was safe for now; that he could stop running.

I need to take care of my family now. You understand that, right? I can't leave them. And, frankly, last time you touched me, there was a tug of war and I was the rope. I'm dead and I belong with the other dead people but the spirits say I have no place there. And you... I don't know what the hell you have in mind for me. But it couldn't possibly be good.

There was one final whisper through her mind. Remember. And then Shadow Boy was gone and Katie thought she heard him echoing her name in the wind.

"Who was that?" Dan asked when she had found their car in the honking, suffocating traffic jam. Mom had fallen asleep and Dad was outside, making use of the downtime by refilling the screenwash. As long as the younger girl kept her voice low, they wouldn't be heard.

Katie barely heard her sister. The older lady was filling her thoughts: the way she had seemed so calm in the face of her own mortality and surrounded by so much death. The way she had held that little boy to her chest, refusing to let go of each laboured breath before he had found his own fate. It made her ache just to remember. Then, her mind's eye cut to the floating apparition of Mademoiselle Romani – beautiful/bloody and still trying to help.

"Who were you talking to? He looked... familiar."

Katie shot a look across at the younger girl, but she was busy playing on her games console and didn't see the concerned look that surfaced.

# Chapter eight

"Bitch, you best have something important to say."

"Errr... well, it depends how you define important, okay."

"I define important as the house being on fire. And the lack of smoke alarms counts that out. So... this must be either worse than that or some weirdy girl shit."

"Leo." Dina propped one hand on her hip and tapped her foot on the floor. She had recently taken to wearing long sleeve t-shirts because it still was not cold enough for a jumper. The sleeves also covered up the scars on her wrists and on her right arm that she could not bear to look at now. It wasn't the pain that always came in flashbacks that made her gasp, or even the memory of how they got there – it was feeling that somehow, someway, they were important. Not the wrist scars – that was a personal trauma she was dealing with through counselling, positive thought, anti-depressants and her friends never giving her a minute to feel sorry for herself. No. It was the inch long whip cut on her arm that bothered her. The fact that another eight people shared the mark seemed like it should mean something. Their infuriating slowness in healing, their tendency to split and weep dark crimson, it meant... God what did it mean? It was there. It just kept slipping through her fingers whenever she got too close.

"Well?"

"Not here."

"No-one's listening and, to be honest, no-one cares. Suicide girl."

"Honest to God, you need to let that go, man. Nobody was hearing me then. They didn't get how scared I was. Am," she corrected. "But I'm getting there. And we have more important things to worry about."

"Who's worried?" He made a show of yawning. For the past week, he had been sleeping in the little room that Katie once lived in. At first, the move had been because Jaye was too ill to make it even the few steps into the room she shared with Dina but, even though Jaye was still holed up in his little corner of the world, he'd begun to like this place. The dolphin bedspread and colourful curtains, the wall of photographs and piles of clothes, right down to the overflowing sponsorship form on the desk for a cross country race three days ago. It all reminded him so deeply of her. Of Katie. It wasn't manly and wild horses wouldn't make him admit it, but he had shed more than a few tears into her pillow.

"Katie would not be impressed."

Leo looked up, embarrassed. "What?"

"You. Sleeping in her bed."

"Oh."

"I'm wondering if I should ask what you thought I meant."

"Uh, nothin'." Leo looked away, feeling himself flush red. "You woke me up for what again?"

Dina raised her eyebrows in the direction of the little alarm clock by the bed – a little before noon. "How come you didn't go home for the week?"

"Me and Dad don't get on." But that wasn't it completely. He felt like he had a duty to stay here for his housemates – yes, his friends if he had to say the words. "And I don't mind sticking around."

"Wow, the emotions are gushing out of you today. She'd hate this little set-up you've got going here."

Leo grabbed up a mostly clean t-shirt and jeans and struggled into them as Dina went through the photos pinned to the wall. She paused before the tarot card she had stuck up the previous week. HIGH PRIESTESS. A woman sat on a throne and looked out. But her fingers did not stop for long. They danced nervously over the wall and Dina was dancing from foot to foot. She couldn't wait any longer. "Jaye's gone."

For a minute, time seemed to slow and Leo was aware of every breath he took, each hair on his arm standing up in cold alarm. Buttons fumbled in his clumsy fingers. His ears must be playing tricks.

"Did you hear me? I went into her – your room just and she wasn't there."

"I heard. Don't know what you expect me to do 'bout it."

"You know what? Nor do I."

"D, I am not her! I will not go haring off on suicide missions to save your insane arses."

"No-one's asking you to. But the other two don't know yet. It... it's sort of habit to come in here when things go bad."

"We better go tell the guys that they've got one less mouth to feed tonight." And wouldn't that be a fun conversation. "Wait, you're sure she's just gone and not, y'know, gone."

Katie had spent most of the morning curled into a ball on Dan's bed, telling her as much as she dared about ghosts. Which wasn't much.

The business with the Keepers and Shades and Shimma was Northwood stuff and it felt a bit like betrayal to talk about anything so specific. She didn't want to talk about it anyway. Not about something that had done her wrong. She wanted to just turn to a friend and blurt out everything she knew. This must be how D felt. With the understanding should have come a fresh wave of forgiveness. But it didn't. She liked Dina. They had almost died in that fire together. She trusted the other girl but she would never be able to forgive her all the way. The knowledge of what the town could do weighed heavy on Katie but it didn't make her want to do anything as extreme as drugging a new arrival just so she could vent all the town secrets.

"So... how come you didn't stay in Northwood?"

"Good question." Truth was Katie had no idea why they had brought her back to Worth. Simple kindness was out of the question. Not that the Keepers were actively mean but they didn't fanny around when it came to getting it done. And if being here served some other purpose – which it undoubtedly did – Katie was damn sure she was going to make every second count. "I just couldn't leave you all like that. I hadn't seen you in two months and you didn't get to see me run with Mom and Dad. And I know it's not the same now that I'm not real. At least I can say goodbye properly now though."

Dan stiffened, pulled away from her and her face hardened. Katie ached to be able to pull her back into her embrace. "Don't you dare say goodbye! Just don't even think about it!" Tears sprang into her eyes and her lower lip started to wobble. But she wouldn't let them fall. No child should have to bury another but that wasn't what hurt. Having her back – that hurt. "You are real and you won't say goodbye."

"Dan, you know this is only temporary, right? One day I'm going to have to go back to my life again."

"You haven't got a stupid life!"

"My not-quite-death then."

"There's nothing waiting for you but a body bag and a grave with your name on it."

"Dan. Honey."

"Honey? That's what people say to babies. I'm not a little kid, Katie."

"No, but you are my kid sister." She understood the outburst of anger. A year or so ago, Katie probably would have reacted in exactly the same way; rage and grief and confusion all mixing together to make one massive mess of emotion. But she was different now: everything she had been through this year had changed her. "And I want to help you."

There was a fraught moment when light footsteps ran up the stairs and along the bit of hallway outside. They stopped by the closed pale green door, listening through the wood. Both girls held their breaths. "Danielle? Are you okay in there? We thought we heard shouting."

"Mom," Katie gasped.

Neither of them said anything more, but Dan turned the music up on the battered old laptop. Pretending she had been singing to The Saturdays or Little Mix was a good enough cover for raised voices. Apparently buying the excuse, Mom shuffled on down the hall and shut herself in the bathroom.

"Then help me by promising. Promise me you'll never say goodbye."

How on earth was Katie meant to do that? It was just plain wrong to make a vow she had no control over and no way of keeping. The Keepers had told her to say her last words, to see them one more time, which seemed to mean that they had further plans for her. Plans that weren't in Worth. "I promise."

"Yeah, as if."

"Dan, I don't know what to do to make you believe me."

"You promised you'd be fine out there. Give me one reason I should believe you now." She backed up until her back was against the wall. "My God, Katie, you're a freaking ghost!"

"How were my friends when you saw them? Did many people turn out to see me?"

"It was just a memorial. We'll have your funeral here at the weekend."

"Didn't you bury me there?"

"We didn't even see the body." The body, not her body. "Can any of them see you? Do any of them know ghosts are real?"

Katie thought about how to answer that without confessing that half of them were already deceased but somewhere beyond a simple phantom. "I guess it depends whether they believe or not," is what she settled for. An answer that was suitably vague, but sounded like it meant more than it did.

"I'm not sure why I can see you then. I don't believe in spooks."

And Katie knew then. "It doesn't matter. You're a kid."

"I'm not-"

"The world hasn't hurt you enough. You're not jaded and cynical."

"And you are?"

"I can see myself in a mirror. I guess so."

"You know, even this version of you is – there aren't even words. You just... you're just you!"

"Want to see something cool?"

Dan raised her head, half interested but trying not to let it show. She shrugged. Katie knew that was the most encouragement she was likely to get today, and stepped closer. She was planning to try that thing she had managed with Eric the fireman. And rapist, her mind whispered. It was pointedly ignored. Possessing her sister for as short a time as a second or two would give her the access she needed to her sisters' memories. All she wanted to do was sneak a look at her friends.

Noise too much noise people making noise so they don't have to live in the quiet.

Everyone blaming each other blaming themselves blaming all the people who don't deserve it.

Wishes wishes that never came true in yellow and blue

Order cruel and clinical the whole thing had an order to follow

No. This was too vague. Katie needed to focus in on each person, however unpleasant it might be, and take a good look. She needed to know that they were coping.

Nebulous thoughts hovered over Dina. Her healing whiplash seemed to emit a dark red glow from beneath her black blouse.

A familiar rainbow of conflict washed Leo as he wrestled with his own mess of feelings. Sadness, lust, faith.

Wait.

There.

An empty chair.

In shock Katie stepped away. Somebody had been missing at that service. Mom, Dad, Lainy, Adam... Jaye. Jaye had been missing. Nothing serious could have happened to her – she was a Shade and couldn't get hurt or anything, right? Well, not hurt so badly that she couldn't heal as soon as she thought to rid herself of the pain. Still...the sight of the vacant seat filled her mind with a thousand paranoid visions – and none of them had a happy ending.

"How come you didn't tell me you's in trouble?"

"Erm... huh?" Katie stared at her sister, dumb-founded. Did she know her that well that she could just tell from her face?

"Oh, come on, you cannot tell me you don't know how that worked."

A pause of bafflement. Both girls went back to the bed but this time lay on their sides, staring at each other. Dan's feet reached to mid-calf on Katie but she was growing fast. "You made a hole so you could get into my head but I could go through it into yours too. You're honestly telling me you didn't feel it?"

Katie's turn to shrug. Seeing the gang again had taken up most of her attention, and trying not to cry had taken up the rest of it. She couldn't afford to get lost in lives she wasn't a part of any more.

"Well, I did. And I know you're scared about something. That thing I saw you with yesterday. Is it that?"

"Dan, I can't burden you with this okay. It's my problem. I'll deal with it."

"Just like you dealt with that guy who tried to kill you? Stand up and fight like a demon and then give it all up in the end anyway? Yeah, I got all that too. I'm a fast reader," she bit off at her accusing look. The anger was not completely directed at Katie, although it partly was. "Just like you always do. Now, I've seen all the crap you've faced in Northwood, all the danger and stuff, and you always had your fiends to help. But they're half the country away and moving on. Right now, I'm the best you've got. Spill."

"I can't do this to you."

"So, you're okay with that thing getting his claws in you and taking you back to whatever circle of hell he crawled out of, to live by his side for ever and ever? Wow, you're adventurous."

"Circle of hell?"

"Dantes Inferno. Mrs Baker said it was too old for me – evil old witch – but I was using it for art anyway."

"I have to get through my first year at Levenson before I get to read the Inferno. You're twelve."

Duh, obviously she didn't understand it that well, but Dan understood art and the pictures in and about the book told her everything she needed to know. The Inferno was Hell, and different types of sinner were consigned to one of the nine circles. It had been hard work to get Mrs Baker to lend her a copy of the book out of college stores but a fair amount of nagging and wheedling and – okay – downright stealing, had secured the book. It lay in the bottom of her school locker. She used it every day; reading a few sections then trying to draw the images that formed in her head but there was going to be a tenth level in her version. A level reserved solely for school teachers who thought they knew best.

"She's a nasty one all right," Katie half-laughed. It was strange that some things hadn't changed at all whilst others were hardly recogniseable as what they had once been. "She's only looking out for you."

"I'm nearly a teenager, Katie. It's Mom's birthday next month and, whether she knows you're there or not, I want you around. Not off being dead or fighting another battle you won't win. Here. With me. With us." She put her hand up to her own face and scratched her cheek. "Gross, I'm getting spots."

Welcome to being a grown up.

"Who's Jack again?"

"My boyfriend."

"And some-one kidnapped him?"

"More or less."

"Is it more or less?"

More. Way, way more. "He was being held in a bad place. Then I found him but I don't know how to get back to him or how to save him."

"Save him from what?"

"That boy you saw me talking to. The one made of shadows and secrets." Katie had told her sister as much as she could but there were ways to say things without giving anything away. Because she absolutely wouldn't be responsible for saying anything that put her family in danger. "It was chasing Jack... had been trying to get him for years apparently. He thought he was protecting me by keeping it there with him. Only it looks like it followed me back."

"And now it could go for any of us. Sweet."

"No. You're all perfectly safe. It's me it wants."

"You think it might be, like, the Angel of Death?"

"I don't know."

"You know what?" Dan rolled off the bed and jammed her feet into her broken-down-at-the-back Adidas. "If I'm gonna keep up with all your crap, I'm gonna need supplies." The door snuck open and she disappeared without making a sound. For such a clumsy looking girl, Dan had the self-silence of a dormouse. She didn't even make any noise going down the stairs apart from the ear-splitting squeal when she likely trod on the cats' tail. Probably on purpose. No, not because she hated it but it wasn't even their cat. It was Mr Lee next door, always forgetting to leave the window open, so it came and crept in through the back door. And it was evil. Seriously, it was the first housecat Katie had ever seen destroy an entire armchair singlepawedly.

Hearing Dan opening cupboards and drawers through several feet of plaster, wood, and thin air – man, this supernatural hearing is a pain in the bum – Katie turned her attention to the window and what she had picked out during her little jolly into Dan's mind. The empty chair... the seat Jaye should have occupied.

Where was she? Probably just nipped to the loo for a minute. Got caught up at the pool. Was outside getting some air. The analytical left half of her brain threw up all these reasons – then proceeded to reject each and every one of them. She's in the toilets. Really? That's what you're going with? Sergeant Voice spewed derision into her head. Katie knew that anything she thought of now was probably nothing more than an excuse... a story she could recite so often it almost sounded believable.

Almost.

But she had no choice. The alternative was so much-

Me.

Coherent thought went on a last minute holiday. Lonely thoughts came unbidden. Nobody knew she was here. She couldn't take up any weapons to protect herself. Suddenly, Katie was alone and very, very afraid. There was good reason to be; a dark mist snuck in through the crack under the door, circling around her ankles. She tried to step out of it but the black air clung to her bare leg like burrs stuck to the fibres of a coat or pollen in her hair during the summer.

Me. Everything that's happened is because of me.

Katie stood at the window, recalling how she had lived almost this exact moment two months before – the day before she left for Northwood. At that point, Katie had been desperate to get away from Worth – her hometown and, later, her prison: stuffed with self-imposed solitude, bad experiences and a stifling attitude to her need to be a person in her own right. High school looked in the middle distance. Over half of her old class was at the sixth form there, probably muddling through much the same classes as Levenson offered its youngest students. Some of them had been her friends until halfway through the final year. It was the attack that had done it. That was how she saw it, what she put it down to. Looking back though, Katie had been pulling away from the group she hung around with for a couple of years. She'd never really let them get close to her. Simply couldn't let anyone get under her skin. Maybe there was some inherent desire to be self-sufficient and never need anyone else. There was logic to that.

Maybe you were just protecting yourself.

Katie jumped. That was no voice she recognised. The voice she used to speak to herself was rough, tough and straight to the point. This sounded... kind. Kind and gentle and soothing. Maybe you knew you'd have to leave one day.

She turned around and looked down at her bare leg. Black shadows were still swirling around her lower leg but it didn't feel frightening at all. It felt oddly comforting. As though it had no desire to hurt or scare her. Even though it would coalesce into Shadow Boy within minutes, Katie found that she no longer had any fear of it. Perhaps she should have. Because there was no telling what it might do now that it had garnered some sympathy. Things had a tendency to do that. Through the window, a pigeon flew close – so fast that there was no way it could not go splatting into the glass - but it screeched and arced up onto the roof at the last millisecond. It must be amazing to have those snake-fast reflexes. That sense of self-preservation that could lead you so close to the edge and then suddenly kick in and speed one away from danger before it was too late.

Thinking about this, and oblivious that the movement was anything but fortuitous timing, Katie twisted her upper body to face into the mid-sized bedroom and found herself staring at the head of a young boy cloaked in darkness. His face was still mostly a blank and he had nothing about him to give the estimation of age. He just gave off the impression of youth. And also of something incredibly old being forced into him.

Something ancient and soulless.

Something with a grudge.

Katie shifted her legs and faced him straight on.

Me.

Shadow Boy just stood there. Katie backed up until her back bumped against the window ledge. It put a precious extra few inches between them.

Me.

What are you trying to say? Am I meant to know you or something? Did we share some secret code in a past life? Because I honestly have no idea.

Me.

Not helpful. And did you say my name yesterday?

The dark figure just stood there.

Did no-one ever teach you to speak properly?

More static filled silence in her head. Oh, sweet Jesus, they didn't, did they? Okay... Katie drummed out a beat on her leg as she tried to think of something to say. There was plenty to say but they all involved him being able to deliver a detailed and intelligible answer. Okay, here's what we'll do. Wait, do you even understand a word I'm saying?

Uuuurrrrgggghhh.

The noise sounded pained. It was like nails down a blackboard and Katie decided that it would have made her ears bleed if they could. Hush. Don't speak. Listen, I'll ask questions and you step back if you mean no and... well, just don't do anything if you mean yes. Can you do that?

He didn't shuffle back so Katie assumed it was an answer in the positive. Although a move back would have meant he had understood and accepted the code anyway... or maybe he wasn't moving because he was confused. No, there was no more time for doubts. She trained her gaze on the misting black smears that passed for feet.

Were you chasing Jack in the Dead World?

He lifted one foot and moved it back, leaving it hovering about an inch over the green carpet for a long time before he brought it back and stood, impassive.

You don't know. Great. I get the indecisive one. Do you know who it was, then?

Shadow Boy stood still. Every second that passed and they were locked into each others heads, his face peeked out a little more from under that mask of night. But Katie wasn't paying that much attention. What he looked like wasn't important. It wasn't like she was going to have to pick him out of a police line up or anything. Eric Jones. He won't get away with it forever. Katie shook the words away. Now was not the time for revenge.

Me.

Stop talk- wait, what?

Me.

But you just said it wasn't- never mind, okay. Katie had a bad feeling; one of the kind that meant things were going to get a lot worse before they got better. Dying was supposed to mean stopping, or at least resting for a while, but this was harder than ever. Why couldn't Shimma come here and tell her why the Keepers had sent her here? What they expected her to do. And now, with her friends getting on with their own lives 200 miles away, facing their own demons, she was all alone down here. Alone with Shadow Boy. With a tween for back up. As situations went, this way pretty sucky. You followed me back here for a reason. I get that you can't tell me but you've been trying to drag me back into the Dead World. Once you get the words, we're going to have a discussion about that.

Slowly, Shadow Boy nodded. The motion was alien to him.

Do we know each other?

Breaking the established patttern Shadow Boy stepped forward and opened his arms, practically begging for a hug.

"Screw it. I'm already dead. What's the worst that can happen?"

Whether brave, foolish or just plain crazy, she stepped forward and let herself be enveloped by shadows. Furthering the impression of a young boy, Katie found she could tiptoe and rest her chin on his head, but that felt wrong. So she bent her knees and buried herself in black. A million images began to speed through her mind, Sky Plus on fast forward times thirty, making her want to throw up. Images she couldn't even begin to pick apart until it was over.

Distantly, there was a high pitched scream, footsteps running, panicked words. All that Katie could attend to right now was the soul-deep cold when Shadow Boy released her, vanished, leaving her slumped against the outside wall.

# Chapter nine

Was it over?

Was it just beginning?

Neither option seemed exactly likely as a high pitched shriek sliced through the air, bringing Katie slowly back from that precipice. The noise was interspersed with jagged, gasping breaths that did not sound as if they could sustain that level of sound. She wanted to race over to the source of the screaming and shut it up. Just so it stopped drilling into her brain and let her think. But she couldn't move, couldn't speak. And what she saw whizzed past her inner eyes so fast her brain couldn't pull the pictures apart. When those memories were important, they would come back. If the world could just slow down... if she could just have some time to catch up... instead of this maddening blur of things she half thought she knew. And this, this was another of them, this man swimming into focus right in front of her. Dark hair, thinning a bit by his ears. A chipped canine tooth on the left. The green fleece he had worn around the house since the beginning of time.

"Dan, there's nothing there, sweetheart."

"I swear on my life Dad. Can't you see her?"

Broken screaming had now given way to choking sobs.

"We're all upset enough already without you hurting yourself more with a fantasy."

"She's there, Dad. Right there," she insisted and pointed right at Katie. "She came back for us. She did! And now she's hurt."

"Katie didn't come back, sweetheart. And she's never going to get hurt again."

"You don't understand. I spoke to her and she... she let me see things. Thing she did in Northwood. And they hurt her, Dad. They scarred her inside and out. So badly that she thought dying was easier than-"

He bent down and put his hands on Dan's shoulders, pulling her close and tight until she lifted her arms and buried herself in his soft, musky body. Her baby tears soaked into his fleece. Although Katie badly wanted to go and join the group hug her body still wasn't under the control of her mind, locked rigid by indecipherable flashes of memory. It was strange to feel your muscles stiffening and seizing up as though full of lactic acid after a marathon instead of floating free and weightless like a phantom should.

"You don't... you haven't seen her."

"Neither have you, sweetheart." He bent close and kissed the top of her head. "Neither have you."

"I did see her. She's got scars everywhere – on her face, on her arms. And she looked so tired. Like she hasn't had a decent nights sleep since she left here." That much, at least, was true. Northwood was, by definition, a peaceful town. Unfortunately, the weirdness that underscored the quiet could fry nerves at a hundred yards. "And...and we should do something."

"All we can do now is lay her down and let her rest."

Me? Rest?

"Let her rest?" Dan wiped teary eyes on the shoulder of Dad's fleece and glanced across at Katie again before turning back in to her father. "Running around here is not resting. It's killing her. I know what you're gonna say and I'm not seeing things. Some bad people hurt her – a lot. She can't rest yet. She can't just give up and..."

"Come on now. Ssshhh, now, it's okay."

"I promise you, she's here. I know what I'm looking at."

"It's your imagination, Dan. Even I want Katie back but it can't happen. And if you keep convincing yourself that her... her ghost is haunting you, it'll only be worse in the end."

"No." She pulled away from the man and wiped her eyes with trembling hands. "You want me to prove it? I'll prove it." Dan looked over at Katie with a plea in her eyes. "Katie, do something. Anything." But there was nothing she could do. Ghosts had no physical presence – could have no effect on the world. Even if she could have done something, her limbs were slowly returning to life and she didn't trust herself to stand up just yet. Whether falling down would hurt or not, her brain still had a mortal fear of not being on solid ground. Zooming through space, time and other dimensions at the whim of other beings she did not entirely trust had only heightened that. Exposure to her fears should have rendered them powerless according to her lessons. Nyeh, school lied. She couldn't be anything she wanted to be – Katie could only be a ghost. A useless, helpless, spook. She couldn't do anything she set her mind to. She couldn't do anything at all. "Please, do something. Move the curtains. Just let him know I'm not making this up."

But Katie knew there was no way she could convince her father. Whether she had been able to do something or not, he wouldn't have believed it. Too lost in that tornado of sadness she saw in his eyes.

Try. The single word seemed to come from Dan. Katie saw a thick grey mist around her sister – not malevolent, just intensely miserable.

She wanted to make it better. She wished their family could be whole once more – or as whole as it had ever been. Hold onto that thought, soldier. It could be important. The brusque sergeant voice in her head issued the order just as she was about to brush it aside with her empty wishes, cut her losses and leave. There had to be somewhere she could still be of use.

Leaving her father and sister to it, Katie found her mother glued to the television in the living room with the remote control in her hand all but forgotten. About to walk past and out of the house, something she recognised came on screen. Katie moved into the living room to see better and stopped behind the sofa, right above her mothers' curly brown head. She forced herself not to look down because if she saw even a tiny slice of Mom then she'd never leave. And with the report that was running on the local news, leaving was something she could not risk.

"... nobody yet knows how or why this lorry overturned," said a female reporter on the TV. She had long blonde pigtails and was dressed in a green windbreaker with a blurred brand logo on the chest. Dozens of people had been injured – had even died – in that crash and the station were worried about brand promotion. And then they charge the story to the work experience girl with a stupid smile on her face like it didn't mean anything. "The casualty total is still rising, with some not even regaining consciousness. The scene we saw here yesterday was the last thing the victims saw. Although we would remind drivers..." The blonde journalist continued but Katie stopped listening. Her mother was humming a tune she had used to get both her daughters to sleep after a tiring day when they were younger. Brahms Lullaby. The woman dropped the remote control on the seat beside her and got up to go to the kitchen. The clinking and clashing sounds of tea being made came from the room. She couldn't go there, couldn't go through and stand there as Mrs Cartwright watched another child vanish from her life. What she might see there frightened Katie. It might be a vortex of crashing hurt and stormy fury. And there was nothing she could do to ease that trauma. So she stood behind the settee, numbly hearing the discordant lullaby her mother was humming under the too-cheerful tone of the reporter who was still broadcasting from a temporary shelter near the crash site.

"This is one of the biggest traffic catastrophes to hit the area in years." All the sounds, both in the house and on the TV, died into white noise once more, just a shade above mute. Something grabbed her attention. It took over every spare shred of though she had. A ghost appeared on the camera a few feet behind the girl.

The camera didn't shift and focus in on it nor did the journalist turn to see the apparition; it was fairly safe to say that nobody else could see it. Instead of being as human looking as Katie was, this one was hunched and wandering in the back of shot like it was confused. Then another joined it. They looked alike. They were both from the family of refugees who had been hiding in the wagon of the lorry which had caused the accident. Like anyone, even the dead needed comfort and they found it in each other's arms. It was sweet for a minute – until a black shape sort of dissolved in reverse and seemed to say something that the couple pulled apart to listen to. Katie couldn't hear what was said but she could give a pretty good guess when they walked towards Shadow Boy. I thought I was helping him. I try to house-train him and then he just goes back. He seemed to move almost haltingly. He pointed to the camera and the two family members turned into the lens, their faces twisted and screwed up, all angles and points. Crap. She barely saw her mother come into the room with a steaming mug in one hand and a glossy brochure for Grace Memorials. She didn't want to think about herself right now – much less her own funeral.

"This can't be happening," sniffed Mom. "Not again."

Another piece of the puzzle slammed into place. All the memories she had shared with Shadow Boy today. Everything made terrific/terrible sense. Shadow Boy knew her.

And Shadow Boy hated her.

It didn't feel right but that was what Katie had to work with. If Shadow Boy truly had a grudge against her, then he'd had plenty of opportunities to act on it – not least today when they'd almost had a proper conversation.

Frowning, she looked down. It took along minute to pierce the haze and realise she was watching tears drip slowly on each falsely bright page her mother turned over. It was another minute before she remembered to wipe her own eyes, but her sleeve came away dry. Her own tears probably wouldn't have made that plip plip sound or soaked into the thin cardboard pages. No-one would have noticed them once they dripped off her face. Mom. Mom was crying, silent, still, and alone. Katie wrestled with herself, wondering if she was within her rights to dip into her mother's memories to see if she had even cried for her eldest daughter yet. In front of other people. That was the kicker with their whole family – they all tended to feel the deepest hurt alone, waited for a lonely moment to feel things so that nobody would feel obliged to take some of the weight. Moving to stand over her mom, Katie discovered that she couldn't do it. There were too many memories crowding her own head that it might – no, it would – be too much if she tried to stuff any more in. Even if they were ones belonging to her mother. However badly she wanted to be there; to understand Mrs Cartwright's pain, it was going to overwhelm her.

Believe it or not, I can still do some good here. With or without my friends.

She glanced down to see her mother staring at the same page as she had half an hour ago. It was now soaked through. "No. No, no, no," she kept muttering, a thin keening sound that was blind and deaf. Even though her mug was still half full, the coffee had stopped steaming and Mom went back into the kitchen to make more. Katie followed this time. But she never made it to the kitchen.

One step into the dim hallway and she was suddenly at the front door and staring at it. Seriously, the Keepers were not big on subtlety. Behind Katie, the rest of her family thumped down the stairs. Dad disappeared into the kitchen and the sound of clinking glass bottles tinkled along the air. He was getting the whiskey from that box of beers in the cupboard under the kettle. If any situation called for a drink or five it was this. Katie was saving Jack, possibly her friend, helping her family through this, saving lost and traumatised souls from a crash, being taunted by some boy draped in darkness, and all while being dead and figuring out why she wasn't in Heaven. It sounded so simple when you put it like that.

"What's up?" Dan whispered when she reached the second to last stair. It gave her a long-desired inch or two over her big sister. And then it hit home – Katie would never grow again. Dan would always look up to her sister but, one day, she might look down on her. Never. Grow. Again. The force of the realisation made her stumble from the step but she gripped the banister and righted herself on the last step.

"No tears."

Dan pressed her lips into a thin pink line and nodded. Then she jumped down the final few inches, grabbed a jacket off the peg and pointed outside.

"That's my jacket. It's miles too big for you," Katie said once they had rejoined in the front garden. Dan said nothing – just stomped off down the garden and then turned left beyond the gate. No choice but to follow. Had she still been worried by such things, Katie would have stressed herself out about what damage the furious stamping was doing to her joints. But she wasn't. And nor was Dan. They went past the shops she had always darted in and out of after school; the little cluster of lock-ups that reminded her of a horror movie; Junkie Heights; and then across the car park that had taken up half of Worth Park.

Once through the gates, both girls let out a breath of relief. The park was neutral ground. Even so, Katie shuddered at the memories it brought back. Not noticing, or maybe deliberately not noticing, Dan ran over to the nearest tree ad climbed up. The base of the trunk had split into two a few feet off the ground and Dan boosted herself up to sit in the V it created.

"You're leaving again, aren't you?" were the first words she had spoken to Katie in an hour and they were filled with such fury. "Aren't you!?"

"Dan, I have to."

"No, you don't. You don't have to do anything!" Katie snuck a peek at the rest of the park. A decent amount of families had braved the cold before the schools started but nobody was within earshot. "You can't go running off all the time because they can't be bothered to clear up their own mess."

"They?" She tried to take a grip on the tree to pull herself up but she kept going through. Logic prevailed and she imagined herself sitting in that V. Dan watched as she disappeared from the ground and reappeared beside, questions burning right alongside anger in soft brown eyes. Eyes that shouldn't be filmed with tears. "Don't know any they."

"Stop lying to me, Katie. Whoever's making you do this. Because you wouldn't leave us if you had any choice. You wouldn't leave me," she finished, her voice getting louder with each word. "I don't care how big and powerful they are, they can't force you into anything. Tell them no. You get them to do their own dirty work."

If only it was that easy. "I love you and nothing can change that but.... you'll understand when you're older."

"I don't wanna understand! I want you not to go!"

"What do you think I should do then? Should I let twenty innocent people return to the scene of their death lost and confused and alone?" Although... hadn't she done exactly that a week before? And if she couldn't come to terms with that, how did she expect to smooth the passage into the Dead World for all those others? "Shall I go back home and watch the telly while Shadow Boy corrupts them? Do I sit back and say 'You're on your own' while knowing I could have got there and put them at peace first? Tell me I should risk all those spirits because my family can't wait a few hours for me to come back. Say that and I'll stay."

There was a silence, uncomfortable and brittle. Neither girl wanted to shatter it but every minute they wasted in this stalemate was another minute that Shadow Boy was loose on that motorway, turning lost souls to whatever dark purpose drove him and terrifying who knew how many living drivers to near death.

"That crash was forty miles from here. You guys have, like, a supernatural subway or something?" Dan asked, sounding resigned. Like the fight had just... gone from inside her.

"Don't be ridic-" Katie paused. There was no underground for ghosts but there was a supernatural sky train of sorts. To tell the truth, not one single cell of Katie was looking forward to being jolted, bounced, and loop the looped through the skies again until she reached her destination. And that was if the Keepers even wanted her to be there. Which was a pain. If they chose, they could just deposit her somewhere else - where-ever they decided they wanted her to go. But she had to be needed here, right? Because, otherwise, they'd have whisked her right away as soon as the crash had been and gone and she had failed to save anyone. Crap, they must be seriously pissed off with her. Would going on the rollercoaster through the air go very far to making it up to them? Or would that just get them even more mad at her? Would the Keepers even let her cadge another lift off them? Katie remembered something they had said to her on the day that she died: _We have chosen well. You are known to us, Katie Cartwright. You have proved yourself worthy._

"They picked me for this." _They can't say no to anything if they need me._

"Who picked you? And for what?"

Katie looked across at Dan as she wriggled to the edge of the tree to jump down. But her sister was no longer there.

# Chapter ten

"You need me to do this. You _chose_ me for this."

Since the world she had been wandering had dissolved into nothing, Katie had been standing/hovering in the middle of a star-dotted grey space and repeating the same words for the last five minutes. The Keepers may not be able to hear her – indeed, they might not even be listening. But she was damn well going to float here and stamp her foot until they started paying attention.

"You took me away from my friends, my family, you took me away from Jack! If you have reasons, fine, tell me what they are. You brought me here and I will not go another inch until you get to explaining!"

It took a frustratingly long time (though it was likely under a minute) before things started happening. The dull grey began to swirl around Katie, wrapping her in a tornado of a million colours, all blending in to one another. She blinked a few times so the blinding whirlwind was dimmed by her own eyelashes, for a second it helped, but then the colours just... stopped. Fell away. Before it had picked up the power and speed Katie was sure it was capable of.

"Another one of your games? Original." She swallowed to buy herself some thinking time. "Wind me up and watch me go? You're not exactly making me want to help you."

And yet, you will.

"You seem very sure of that."

We know you, Katie Cartwright. You will not stand by and allow this to continue.

"Damn, I'm too good for my own good."

Your bravado is thin. Strand by strand, you are broken but you still pretend. Humans are so interesting.

"But I'm not exactly human any more," she pointed out. She made a noise in her throat in an attempt to clear some blockage. Her voice was failing. This grey vacuum was nowhere. Nothing. And, in it, she was nobody human. This, Katie thought, was a world the Keepers could control – one that could sustain neither her voice, nor her image which was slowly breaking apart into floating dots of silver light. "Am I?" she managed before her voice packed up completely. This time last year, her father probably would have come home from work special to enjoy the peace and quiet.

You are closer than you think. And yet you are... other. More.

What's that supposed to mean? Can I get my life back?

We have allowed you to remain in your world. It is your choice how to proceed on a personal level.

_Jesus, sound interested won't you? I died! And you guys – girls – whatever the hell you are,_ and they could be its for all she cared, _you let me! And I'm meant to be grateful you haven't taken me away yet?_

Yes. And you will earn your right to life.

Katie held up her hand for silence and dropped her head to her right shoulder, outing her opposite arm over her eyes to blot out the overwhelming absence of colour. Behind her eyelids still danced that whirling dervish of neons and jewel bright hues. They hurt to look at but they were hypnotic enough that Katie could distract herself for a few minutes and get some distance from all the voices. Finally, she straightened up and peeled her arm away from her face, hardly surprised to notice the scarred palm of her left hand crawling with points of silver. Threads of the brilliant energy crept along her wrist and down her fingers.

Why is it so important that I go to that motorway junction?

The voice of the Keepers sighed. It was just one breath but it somehow sounded as though the entire world had decided to sigh at the same moment. It was the most human sound there was and to hear this _otherwordly_ voice do it was just creepy.

They must be saved.

I get that but you're the all-powerful, everywhere at once ones. And I thought lost souls were kind of your responsibility.

Once they come to us. Once they are free to do so.

_You can't just pull rank and take them?_ She paused, a tiny smile creeping over her face. Realisation bloomed in her mind like a sunflower – getting bigger and stronger each moment because it was suddenly and completely Katie who held all the strings right now. The Keepers... well, they had no control over events in the human world as far as she could tell. That's why they had to have this little chat up here, in a none-space they could inhabit. On their terms, but not by their rules, Katie decided. She was going to get something out of it.

Okay, so this is what will happen. You're going to-

Katie Cartwright, you have no place asking things of us. Your incomplete existence continues. Do not make us rethink our decision.

_Rethink away but rethink this too. If you kill me properly dead, who is going to rescue all those innocents down there? I mean, you can't do it. You can't affect the lives of mortals._ Which is why they waited for me to be touching death before they could force me into this. Because they knew this was going to happen and they needed somebody with a connection to all three worlds – the mortal world, the Dead World, and the End Place where some Angel of Death girl decided when they would cross over and what version of the Dead World they would get.

And then Shimma had rocked up with his ghost raising hoodoo and wrecked their plans. Yet they were still finding a way to use her.

You need me to help you.

We need nothing of a half-life.

_Half life? Wow, you know how to make a girl feel special._ Those words seemed familiar; they rolled off her tongue as easily as the alphabet or the names of her favourite bands. Basic words that she didn't even think about.

It is true that we cannot meddle in human affairs. Not in any physical way. That is why we have agents and that is why we have you.

Before I do anything else, you can take me to see my friends.

This is your request?

_Umm... yes. Look, I haven't seen them in over a week. Just let me have a minute. I'll only peek in and then I'm all yours._ With a start, Katie realised what she had just said. Would they take her at her word and actually take her away to live out her strange existence in their messed up world? Were they still human enough to know that she was promising only a temporary act of co-operation?

They mean enough to you that you would risk yourself for them?

Risking myself?

_Of course. Look at your hands. Your connection to your mortal self is fading. You are transforming._ Into energy – light, weightless, merciless energy. Katie knew it without the Keepers having to say so. She was existing on memories and stores of her human lifeforce, whatever had been keeping her going since Shimma had wasted his own weird Keeper powers on her, and those reserves had been dropping steadily ever since. Now she was no longer in a world made for the living – or even a world for the dead but populated with so much humanity that it made little difference – Katie was burning up those threads at an alarming rate. _When the light covers you, you may never again return to the mortal world._

_I've got time._ But she didn't. Not really. Each moment that she hovered in the grey mist, another of those dazed souls from the accident was being twisted into something vengeful and merciless. She could be down there saving them.

Whether you can accept what you see is not our responsibility. Only you shall see them. They will not see or hear you. You may not-

Please. Whatever you think of me, I'm not an idiot. Sometimes, you know, normal people are smart enough to do the right thing without having rules about everything.

The rules are protection.

_Who for?_ The way Katie was thinking it could go either way. They protected the mortals from things they had no place seeing or knowing. Or it could be to protect their own sorry, mystical arses from... from _something_.

The ever moving cylinder of colour rose up and closed around Katie once more. She held a breath she didn't need in sudden apprehension. This... it did not feel quite right. The Technicolour tornado grew too much, just watching the bright blurs whizzing across her face was exhausting. She let her breath out a bit at a time, ignoring the silver threads of energy criss-crossing both bare legs and forcing her tight not-really-muscles to relax. Sleep would not come however much she craved it. _I don't eat. I don't sleep. Hell, I don't even need to breathe. What makes me real?_

_This,_ the voice of the Keepers said softly.

Katie felt a light pressure in her gut; deep down where she always imagined a ball of silver light like a ball of string. It was that which Jack grabbed hold of and pulled on whenever he wanted to see her. How on earth would he come back if she had nothing for him to draw on? Nobody else could or, probably, would help him. Maybe Adam but... oh God Adam! He had looked ill before everything had happened and that was nearly a fortnight ago. What had happened to him since then? But he had looked more or less like his old self when she had plundered Dan's mind and saw him at the memorial. The only thing out of place had been the empty chair Jaye should have been in. The one she couldn't convince herself was a coincidence. The girl... felt gone, if people could feel gone. Worrying about her would be pointless. Jaye might look cute and defenceless but she had steel in her bones.

"You didn't show me anything," said Katie, her voice barely more than a whisper that cracked on the last syllable. "You didn't show me anything," she repeated a bit more firmly. If the Keepers were going to play their games with her, Katie was going to play one of her own. If that meant fighting for every last bit of voice left in her then so be it. "That's not fair."

Humans and their skewed ideas of justice.

"Skewed? Fair is keeping your promises and letting me see my friends before I do your job for you."

We wonder Katie Cartwright. We are curious as to why you crave a final glimpse of your friends in Northwood and not one more moment with your family.

"My friends are my family." She sensed the voice about to say something to fill the falling silence but she cut it off by holding her right arm out and stripping her jacket off to show a fleshy depression across the limb. "We're blood."

Still you doubt us.

"You're saying I should trust you. You sent evil after me, you nearly killed me, you somehow set all of this up... and you won't give me Jack."

Love is a complication. An obstacle on your journey that you do not need. We cannot allow this affair of your heart to go on. It... interferes with our plans.

If ever she needed proof that the Keepers were behind this whole mess then this was it. "What the hell would you know about love?"

We know love is too precious to waste on one person. One you will never be able to save.

Silver mist was swirling up to her knees, shoulders and in a thickening belt over her waist now. "I'm going to die before we come to any agreement." She sounded a lot calmer than she felt. Inside there was a lot of screaming and running around. "Your move. Show me my friends, or let me die."

That was an ultimatum and a half.

Unfortunately, the silvery light was getting closer and closer around Katie, tight enough that if she had had skin it would have been clinging to her like Lycra. Instead it was dancing lazily through her ghost – harmless as air but worrying all the same. She closed her eyes as silver covered her face and invaded her mouth, nose, ears, even sinking through the corners of her closed eyelids. The silver wouldn't kill her as in everlasting pain or an eternity of darkness the way her nightmares had convinced her back when she had dreamt of zombies and Daleks and a man with hate in his eyes. It would not be the escape from hurt and suffering and running, always running, she had craved when she finally gave up on the dancefloor last week. Or would be the rest of time to be owned by the Keepers, having to watch tiny lives live and die like firework sparks that burnt so brightly for such a short time. If she'd had a stomach, Katie was positive she would have wrenched until it ruptured at the thought of having to see the same thing repeat itself and never be able to change it. But she was not going to be their puppet! She pulled in a breath she didn't really need, instinctively coughing as silver smoke tickled the back of the throat she didn't really have.

Is this what it takes to prove a point?

Ready. She was ready to dissolve. She was ready to become nothing.

# Chapter eleven

Katie pulled in a breath she didn't really need, instinctively coughing as silver smoke tickled the back of the throat she didn't really have. Before her slitted eyes rolled out every moment of the eternity she was chancing: every catastrophe she couldn't prevent, both natural and man-made, all the things her mortal life had promise that were now distant dreams. It was a heavy thought – it was slow and final. Surely the Keepers would not let all that potential go to waste. But as silver light whispered through her and the voice remained petulant and silent, Katie realised that they _would._ They _would_ let her go.

Is this what it takes to prove a point?

Ready. She was ready to dissolve. She was ready to become nothing.

So it was almost a disappointment when it didn't happen. Cool winds kicked up, too strong for the Keeper silver mist to resist. It blew through the rest of Katie, fell away from her body. Once the warm silver had blown away the image of her body was somehow faded but she hoped the damage wasn't permanent. There was no time to worry about that though as cool fingers slammed into her chest and forced her away from the grey vacuum hard enough that there would have been bruises on anybody else. Cold. Everything was cold. The world was coming into focus a million miles below her feet; fuzzy and harmless. Closer every second spots of silver dotted the green and grey land beneath. Between the bright silver laser points were dots of twisting, vibrant colours. They spun slowly, almost lazily, ebbing and flowing into each other.

They're not the ones you need to worry about.

Where-ever that whisper had come from, it was right. As painful as it was to tear her gaze away from the multi-coloured orbs of human energy, Katie knew she had to. They beauty threatened to capture her attention and keep it until –

It's too late

\- until...

... until nothing else mattered.

The silver dots... they were important. As Katie watched them grow larger with every yard she fell they glowed brighter, hotter, and then one by one a whole cluster of them exploded in metallic flame for the shortest of heartbeats then turned black – a diseased/deceased black.

It wasn't right. Not by any stretch of the imagination could this be considered right. She didn't know quite what this sudden switch of light to dark meant; hurtling towards ground at a thousand metres per second per second tended to knock out the powers of reasoning – _who knew?_ – but it felt strange. Familiar, even. There was little to do about this whole falling thing. Was it scary? Yes. Was it going to kill her? No. But there probably wasn't going to be a whole lot of time to recover or think about anything when she got to ground so the current task at hand was to block out the air rushing past her, the sounds of the lives being lived _without me_ , the sight of an early sunset. Just shut it out and think. Easier said than done. Her brain processed all this stimuli as if it was still important.

_I'm not mortal. I'm in control of myself._ Katie repeated the sentence a few times but she didn't believe them until her inner drill sergeant emerged and gave her no choice. As soon as she stopped absorbing the energy of the cities, countries, continents around her, she saw the lights for what they were. Energy. Life forces. The colours were people, living people – vital and flaring with life. Silver – like she was, Jaye was, Shimma was – showed the ghosts in the world. They had been clustered in certain areas. Versions of Northwood in other countries. Accidents where many people were dead. And they were being burnt out, used up and turned into black holes of evil. Katie realised with a start that this is probably what her friends had seen happen to her but times a thousand. Once, she had been dark. Once, she had nearly left her friends to die in a fire. Once once once. It sounded so long ago when you put once in front of it. _Once upon a time._ Once, she hadn't even cared if she burnt right there with them. Now, she -

God, she hated falling!

Hated landing even more.

The motorway rushed up towards her, clogged only with the hundreds of cars making their way from work or a last day out with the kids. Katie closed her eyes as the tips of trees came into sight. And then there was an odd feeling of pressure on her back, the concrete she had collapsed on unforgiving and cool. And then there weren't any more feelings.

"Where is she?"

"By my feet."

"Why are you wearing clown shoes?"

"They're green. Nothing wrong with that."

"Dude, they're not green. They're hazardous material. And what are you, size 14 or something? They're flopping all over the place."

"Eleven, actually."

"Makes all the difference."

Voices. Two of them – one male and one female. Katie wanted to open her eyes and put faces to them but nothing in her was co-operating.

"It didn't work."

"You guys tried it this morning. It might just take time."

"Maybe I just got it all wrong. As usual."

Katie heard the crunch of feet on a gritted pavement. There was the muffled sound of something big – no make that two somethings – sitting in the grass.

"Dina, you did nothing wrong. Got that? Not a thing. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine."

"Yours? I don't understand."

"I let-" he didn't get to finish his sentence. Something too loud to be a gasp and too quiet to be a scream came out of him. It was as if he was in pain. The male voice had sounded like Shimma for just a second but... but it wasn't. This man sounded tired and torn and totally, utterly human. Now that it was not there, Katie realised Shimma had always had a ring to his voice; that pure echoing that was too close to his words to notice. "Move away. I might hurt you."

"Is it...is it new to you? You've never pulled anybody through before."

"No," replied maybe-Shimma. "Always wondered what it felt like. Not exactly awesome."

"At least it's not going to nearly kill you. You get it easy."

"This is easy?"

The air tinkled with Dina's soft laughter. "Trust me. After you've done it a few times this becomes second nature. I can't believe this is your first time."

"What can I say? I was saving myself." He breathed hard and fast, pulling in as much oxygen as the fume-filled Junction 5b would allow. It was a brief moment of rest, Katie knew, the pulling would start again soon. It felt like something, some force you could feel but never see, grabbing the pale string of chi coiled in your gut and pulling pulling pulling on it. Until that string unravelled. Then those fingers would go hand over hand, crawling along it until it had got enough to cut the cord and use the severed section to power his or her own existence. It hurt. Every time you were used that way, it hurt.

"So, you choose to start right when our friend is lying here, kinda dead and dying. Classy."

She couldn't help it. Katie felt the corner of her lips curl up in a grim smile and the faintest snort of laughter escaped as the absurdity of what Dina had just said sank in. Dead _and_ dying! Ahhh, funny. Okay, no, bad. Laughing bad. Waking up good. But her eyes still would not open. Her fingers and toes didn't seem to move when she told them to. Even her burst of sound had been covered by the grumbling of the traffic. It was like she wasn't fully _in_ her body yet but floating around somewhere else; her mind cut off from her ghost. The Keepers. They had done this to her. Something in that silver cloud had weakened her to the point of being only command and intent.

You're so much more than that, Lady Katie. I wonder when you're gonna see that. Where you'll be.

Cool lips touched her forehead very gently and then tracked to the side and kissed away a teardrop that had slid out of her right eye.

_Right by your side,_ she sent back. She didn't need to be able to see to know who was hovering over her. Jack. He would look worried, his head slightly wrinkled – it was his thinking face. His green eyes were the only things she wanted to be lost in right now; his ocean-deep eyes, his arms, his love, she wanted to crawl into bed with him and feel _him_ , not the million sensations coursing up and down her shimmering form. _I'm a ghost. Why can I feel everything? It's too much, too much, take it away. Make it stop!_

_I don't know._ Well, that was comforting. _Plenty o' time to figure it out later... right now's not good. There are bigger problems round here and... yeah, you need to wake up and do somethin'._

I can't.

Can't what?

_Open my eyes. They're too heavy. Everywhere feels like a lead weight is holding it down and I just can't. I've been telling my body to get moving but I just won't listen to me. I hate me._ Of its own accord, her mouth made another smile. Something she did must have attracted attention because the voice that was and wasn't Shimma called, breathlessly, "Jack? Is she alive?" He tramped down the grass and weeds as he hurried over to them. Lighter feet followed a second or two later.

Both of you are an idiot then. Good job I love idiots.

All I can think about is seeing you. What if you hate what you see? What if I'm not the same inside.

_You're not the same. You're more than you ever were and you got no clue what –_ Jack swallowed his words. Katie didn't know what it had cost to get her this far and nor did she need to. _Katie, you're needed._

Like she didn't know that. Like she wouldn't get up if she could.

Jack brushed his lips across hers, harder this time, just not quite enough to be called a kiss. _No more. Not until you get up and get you cute lil ass movin' baby._

Baby?

Sweetheart?

Baby?

No nicknames?

Lady Katie's just dandy, cowboy.

He clapped his hands. It was a solid flesh and bone sound – he must have coalesced from spirit into solid in the last minute. Words flew between Jack, Dina and the man who sounded like Shimma but her attention was on pulling in the next breath now, not listening to their squabbling. There were raised voices. Maybe a few pushes and shoves. Something about deals being made and breaking promises. Trying to send someone home. _STOP!_ she wanted to scream at them all. Their trivial arguments paled into insignificance when Katie remembered...

She coughed and sat up, her eyes springing open as if gravity was pulling them up.

"Of course I'm alive, fidiot. Look. Walking, talking, everything."

"Katie?" Dina asked cautiously. "You're... here?"

"It seems like it." She glanced down and saw the edges of a farm in the distance. There were horses in the far field and Katie felt an almost irresistible urge to run down, hop on a beast and ride of into the sunset. Horse riding had been one of those things she had always liked the idea of but never done anything about but there was nothing to stop her now.

Until she looked at the motorway behind her.

A man was hammering his car horn at the white van in front. The van veered into the middle lane and the dark car sped off down the fast lane although he probably wouldn't get far in the tail end of rush hour. Cars still moved along the road but they faded into ghosts and the real phantoms stood out; a boy covered in shadows watching the newly dead wander dazedly towards him and darken, corrupt as he leaned close. Then Shadow Boy took a stiff step back, inching slowly away as if something evil had set up shop inside him and was making him turn these innocent souls bad. He was trying not to do these things. Or maybe he was just taking a break... seeing if he had enough yet. _Enough for what?_

Remembering that Dina had spoken to her what felt like forever ago and that she hadn't answered yet, Katie turned back. Three shocked faces stared at her, not quite believing she was standing right there. Jack. Dina. Shimma. She felt herself blush under their stares. "I've been here all along, D. Not here here but not exactly pushing daisies either. I'm a ghost."

"But I can see you. We can all see you."

"It's complicated."

"Gimme the Death for Dummies version then."

"Jack's a Shade so he can see the dead. Shimma's a Keeper and that means – long story." She shook her head to try and clear her head of everything she knew about the Keepers. Which was next to nothing bar the fact they were ruthless gits when it come to getting their own way. "Save that one for a rainy day. Anyway, he can see me. I'm not sure why you can. Or why I feel like I could sleep for a month. Anyway, that's me. I'm still dead. Technically."

"Don't freak, Lady Katie, but the Shadow is over there and he's walkin' this way." Jack took a step towards Katie, meaning to do the gentlemanly thing and put himself between her and the danger. It didn't matter that he had been trying to avoid this thing for most of his second life; it only mattered that he protected his girlfriend. Even if this was the last - Jack frowned. He froze when Katie waved his hand away. His protection was not wanted here.

"You can't see the others?"

"What others?"

"The other ghosts. You can see me, you can see him, but not them." Katie smacked her forehead with the heel of her hand, surprised that she actually felt the dull thud of the blow. "Ow! Ow? D, could you see me before I woke up?"

"Umm... no," the girl admitted. "Does this mean you're not a ghost any more?" Dina looked at Shimma, Katie glanced at Jack, but both men only shrugged.

Don't look at me. I'm just as confounded as you.

You said confounded!

Would you prefer befuddled? Baffled?

Confounded's good. It suits you. I just didn't think anyone actually said that word in real life.

Glad to hear it.

Well, I aim to please.

You always please me, Katie. You make me happy just by being here.

I'd rather be in bed.

Jack's eyes flew wide open. Was Katie saying what he thought she was saying? _Don't get all excited, cowboy! I want to sleep and if I don't want to sleep alone..._ she let the thought trail off. Jack was a big boy – he could fill in the blanks.

We shouldn't. Not yet. Not like this.

_Like what? Look, with everything that's been going on recently, we might only have one more night to live. And I can't spend it on my own. I just, I just need to be by you. I know things are weird between us and that you have every reason to hate me_ for abandoning you to the shadows, for kissing Leo while you were gone, for not coming for you _and I know I owe you some explanations but... stop looking at me like you'd forgive me mass murder. I died without you once. Don't let me do it again._

No-one's dyin' tonight. 'Specially not you. I need to tell you -

"Okay, I'm gonna play the grown up here before the sparks between you two start a damn fire up in here. Back off Jack. Katie, is that the kid who was trying to take you from the club?"

She could only nod for a second. Then the words came back. "Yes, that's him."

"Are there others?"

Katie nodded. "The dead are all coming here. You're a Keeper. You should be able to see them, shouldn't you?"

"Keepers – agents of them, anyway – can see souls." Something about his statement bothered her. "They-" _they_ not _we_ "can pick up on the energy of the living and then sense when it becomes the darker, agitated energy of a death that happened too soon. If a lot of that energy starts acting up at the same time, it's over-powering and very, very dangerous."

"Lucky me."

Hands clenched into fists as if he was angry and trying not to hit something, Shimma shook his head. "Yeah. Lucky you. They chose to show you that. This. They don't do that lightly."

"I know. They've put the weight of the whole world on my shoulders."

"It's a gift."

"Return to sender. It's a horrible one."

Dina raised her hand in a little-girl gesture. "Is anyone else really freaked out? Or is it just the human in the group?"

"D." Katie turned to her friend and thought fast. The girl was right. She was human. Vulnerable. They hadn't got to the BFF stage yet but there was no way she could put Dina in harms way. She should send her straight home. Between Katie and the boys, there should be enough power to face Shadow Boy.

"Dan called Shimma. I was at the hospital when he got the call. I made him bring me. And I'm not leaving. So don't ask."

Katie had to grin. On impulse, she ran forward and threw her arms around Dina's neck, hugging her tight. Later, she would wonder why her arms didn't pass through her throat like light through an empty glass, why she felt her breathe into her hair and ruffle it, but for now Katie was just amazed by how much like Jaye she was in that moment. Dina. Dina who was so thin a strong breeze might snap her bones; Dina who did the wrong things for the right reasons; Dina who cried and self-harmed and never took the lead. She was not taking the lead now but she was going to be one hell of a follower!

"Okay, what do you need me to do?"

The three of them stood in a rough semi-circle in front of Katie, looking at her expectantly, waiting for orders. But what could she say? How were they meant to help lost souls they couldn't even see? And, if what the Keepers had shown her was true, what difference would this tiny patch of tarmac and tire marks make? "How should I know?"

"C'mon girl," said Shimma. "You always know."

No, I don't. I know how to fight and how to die. I only know how to run away. My sister was right.

"Calm down and think, Katie. What does your gut tell you to do?"

"It's telling me to run like hell. My gut is begging me to just turn around and get out of here because we can't win. There are too many of them." It was the truth – blunt and sharp all at the same time. And the identical disappointed looks on her friends' faces told her it wasn't what they were expecting to hear. "But my gut has been known to be wrong. And my head wants to know how you guys think you can help me if none of you can see what I can see?"

"What _can_ you see?"

"Horrible things. I'm not sure you want to know."

Shimma shrugged and even though he didn't speak or think the words in any way she could hear, Katie could read the words in dull grey eyes that had somehow lost that silvery sheen: _Maybe not, but we need to know. Or we can't help you. We can't even try._

"Okay." She turned and fixed her gaze on Shadow Boy. He wasn't talking, wasn't moving, but he seemed to be watching their motley group. More and more ghosts stood in the middle of the road, wandering in confused circles, occasionally grunting in vague surprise when car after car sped right through them. Good people, all of them. Everyone, Katie suddenly knew, everyone was innocent in death. "You can't do this, guys. I'm not refusing your help. Truly, I'm not. But this... you can't help me."

"If you tell us what to do and where to look-"

"There are ghosts here. I knew some of them. I saw some of them in the crash yesterday. They have this sort of silver energy. And then he gets to them and the silver just _fzzt_ – it burns up and turns black and it's wrong. It's like they're just turning evil in the blink of an eye. I'm the only one who can see it happening because the Keepers showed me. Do you think this is a test to see if I can do this alone?"

"Do what?"

"Save them."

If it was – why would we be here?

"Jack, outside voice please."

He had the good sense to blush ever so slightly. The question stood though. If they weren't meant to be helping Katie, why bring them here? They definitely had the power to keep them away if they chose.

Katie filed the question away for later – she would take whatever help she could get, no matter how secret-agenda-convenient – and set off towards the crash barrier. Most of it was bent out of all usefulness and a section of it had been torn away completely by the woman driver yesterday. Katie found herself thinking of rainbow-haired good luck trolls. It was a good thought to have. And it stayed with her right up until she reached the spot where Shadow Boy was standing.

Don't get too close.

As if hearing her, the boy of shadows stood up straight.

"Why are you doing this?"

Nothing.

"Tell me. Tell me!"

Still nothing. No words anyway. He cocked his head slightly to the side.

It probably wasn't the best move to give up on that line of questioning so soon but they were running out of time. Soon, all these wandering spirits would be sucked into the End Place and then be pushed into the Other Place. The longer they stayed dark, corrupted, the more likely it was that they would have a very unpleasant final destination.

"Look," called Katie from the side of the road, hugely not surprised when they didn't all turn to listen. "You're dead and you don't know why and you're all as pissed as hell about it. I get it, believe me. You have every right to be mad but you're good people. There were accidents, mistakes, maybe – okay, maybe there's somebody to blame for you being here. But you can't do this. You can't speak to Shadow Boy and go from good to evil in a heartbeat just because it isn't fair." She pulled in a breath. It felt difficult and liquid. "You don't turn evil and look for revenge. That's not what people do."

A dark figure crept up on her left as Katie spoke. Jack. He was always right there when she needed him. He took her tingling burned hand in his and squeezed until it hurt. Not that Katie registered the abrasion of raw skin or the crushing of bones. Images flooded her brain; images she had seen only that morning, only now they were slower, fewer, she could pick them apart.

Sitting by her yellow toybox and playing shops while Daddy spoke. You're going to have a new baby brother or sister.

Mommy taking her home from nursery with one hand resting on a flat stomach. He's in there, Katie, I promise.

That horrible doctor making a phone call and making the van with the blue lights come. I'm just going for a little break.

Leaving Nelly the Elephant playing on the TV while she went into the hall and saw Daddy on the stairs. He saw her but didn't say a word.

Trying to recite all the colours of the rainbow while her parents sniffled over a big colourful magazine with GRACE MEMORIALS at the top of each pag., Red, orange, yellow...

Old enough to be in school and learning words for a spelling test, Katie sat on a bench while Mom and Dad hunched over a small white stone, lost in a sea of other stones - black, grey, the sickly green of mould and neglect. They never went there again.

Katie slowly turned to look at Shadow Boy, her mouth opening slightly with all the words that would come tumbling out. Only, when she tried to speak, there was nothing there. Part of her knew she should be focusing on all these people- these masses only she could see and only she could help. Suddenly, though, that wasn't important. She pulled her hand from his and backed away. Her cheeks were damp with tears but she didn't stop to wonder how a ghost cried or how those tears could exist outside her eyes. Shadow Boy stared at her with – no. He couldn't look at her like that. He _couldn't._ She just backstepped through the broken crash barrier and blindly ran with nowhere in mind. Needed to run, to think, to feel the solid thud of-

Tyres screeched. Somebody shouted her name. A horn blasted. Headlights burned her retinas.

She felt a sudden pressure in her side. Not pain precisely, just... uncomfortable. And unexpected. Then she was flying through the chilly evening. Cars raced past Katie like she wasn't tumbling right past their windows. Shill bit into her bare calves and hands. Her head rocked back on impact and cracked the ground hard enough that she would be seeing stars for days. But, although reality had taken on that harmless grey blur, unconsciousness refused to come. _I like being knocked out_ , she thought insanely. _Now would be a good time to pass out._ Because pain didn't come either. All that Katie could feel was sensation – tarmac, wind, grit, but she had no physical response to them – and a bottomless well of shock.

A veritable stampede of elephants was running towards her. How did three people make so much God damn noise?

Katie arched her back as she tried to get up. Bad idea. Muscles contracted and her stomach threatened to evict its contents by the nearest exit. Sadly for her, there were no contents and Katie ended up dry heaving toxic smelling air and acid onto the ground beside her. When that pleasant job was over, leaving her exhausted and sweating, she put a hand to the back of her head expecting to find a smear of blood. Blood there was – but not a few smudges; there was so much of it, it was ridiculous. Any normal human being would have been knocking on heavens door by now. Staring at red fingers, Katie started to laugh. Oh, it hurt. It felt like her ribs were scraping splintered edges against each of her lungs, but she couldn't stop. It wasn't like any of this was going to kill her! And she could turn off the pain if she wanted. That little power switch on her pain receptors was magic. Experimentally feeling around her own mind for it, the girl triggered it and carried on laughing until the blind absurdity began to fade but before the sobbing began.

A break in the cars came and half a dozen grappling hands dragged her off the hard shoulder and into the grass.

"Daniel?" she asked. "Where's Daniel?"

"She's at home." Danielle. They thought she meant Danielle. "It killed me to see you start fighting at your age." Shimma crouched down and smoothed damp brown hair away from Katie's face. It was becoming a frizzy mess and blood was drying in sickeningly natural-looking coppery streaks. "I'm not letting a kid get into this."

"But you let me."

"You're different. I couldn't've stopped you if I tried."

"What makes her different?" Dina demanded. "There's something going on here that you're not telling me."

"D, not now."

"Yes now! You boys are playing some game and you never invited me."

"Fine. I'll explain but _do not_ go psycho. Come over here." Shimma took her by the arm and led her off towards the small clump of trees by the nearest fence. "You got this, Jack," he called over his shoulder. It was not a question... more a statement of fact. Katie wiggled sideways until her shoulder touched an intact piece of crash barrier, braced herself against it then hauled herself up until she was sitting on it, watching her two friends walk off together; Dina leaning into Shimma for support and holding hands like it was the most natural thing in the world. Those two looked more like a couple than almost anyone else she knew. More right somehow than the fierce flirtation between Shimma and Marcie last week. Certainly more fitting than her and this gorgeous boy sitting beside her, looking at her as if she was the only person in the world at that moment.

Sea green eyes bored into the side of her face. A cool hand trembled slightly when it took her chin and tugged until Katie faced him

"Can't out-fade a speeding bullet," she said to Jack, pressing a hand to her ribs. Cracked or bruised – it was all the same.

"Or a car."

Those eyes were shadowed and haunted. It was beautiful – breath-takingly, soul-shakingly, heart-breakingly beautiful. And they were only seeing Katie. They would only ever see Katie. The world might explode around them and they would always search out her first. She tried to smile, touched the back of his hand and looked away. She didn't deserve him – didn't deserve this kind of singular love when she couldn't give it back. "You-"

"I know you didn't mean your sister. Daniel – the Shadow, right?"

"I called him Shadow Boy." Katie sighed and shrugged. Semantics. "He's my brother. He grew up in the Dead World. He went straight there I think. Never had a real spirit, never had to wait in the End Place. He can only say five words. Six, if you count my name. Nobody taught him to speak." Words crowded into her mouth but only the important ones could come out. "Soon, you will remember me."

"I'm never gonna forget you in the first place."

"That's what he said to me. And now I _do_ remember him... as well as you can remember somebody who was never born."

"Do you hate him any less?"

"He's my brother, I have to love him. But... but he's hurting people. Keeping them away from heaven or paradise," Katie struggled for a term without religious connotations and came up blank. "Where-ever. I don't know how to let him get away with that."

"How did you know who it was?"

"His eyes. They were exactly the same as mine and my sister's. Sort of... broken."

Jack angled his thumbs up and started to wipe more tears away from her face. After a minute, Katie put her bloody right hand on his wrist to stop him. "Stop." He frowned at her but stilled under her. A motorbike chased a coach and two more cars down the M6 before Jack started rubbing at the falling tears again, wishing he could move closer and kiss them away before they ever fell. Something told him it would be a bad idea. Love can't cure everything – it only makes the pain wait a little longer. And get a little bit worse. "Stop," Katie said again, but she made no move to pull away from him. It wasn't the gesture she wanted to stop – this gentle, stroking quiet could go on as long as it liked – but the emotion behind it. "You need to stop this. You need to stop loving me this way."

"Never gonna happen."

_It has to. Love is too precious to waste one person._ "When you touch me like this, I can only see you and the rest of the world might as well be on the other side of the universe. And you can't be the first thing I think about because... because people get hurt. I have no choice but to give you that much love back. It's dangerous Jack." That was not it though. It was true enough but not the reason. Those kinds of explanations could come later. Katie reluctantly pulled away from him and twisted on her little perch.

"If this is a mistake, Lady Katie, then let me make it. I'll carry the weight for both of us." He reached for her scarred hand and was encouraged when she let him. Lifting it to his face, Jack murmured against her skin, "You think you're damaged. Soiled. No-one should want you." _I'm damaged, Jack. So, so damaged._ Her words from their first night together floated back to them both. "You 'member telling me that, right? And I didn't say anything. I was lost for words. Honest. People chip away at you, crack your defences, and you shatter – I watch you every night when you think I'm not around – I see you cry where nobody can see, your heart splinterin'. Then you pick up the pieces and stick them back together. You got no idea how special that is."

Katie was just about to tell him how sweet he was, to thank him for saying those things to her, when something caught her off guard. It had been flickering for a few minutes, right at the edge of her awareness, but now it hit her full in the face. "Where the heck are they?"

That's what had been bothering her. Not the tingle of malice in the air but the sheer lack of it. The sudden absence of movement in the corner of her eyes. Not even thinking about it, Katie curled her long fingers around his and stood up. She had one leg over the twisted metal when Shimma and Dina jogged up to them. She couldn't help but notice how their arms kept touching like they were magnetically drawn to each other.

"Tell her then. Tell her what you did."

Shimma looked across at Katie. There was literally nothing he wanted to do less than tell her what he had just told Dina. He shot a hopeful look at Jack but he just shrugged and shook his head.

"Fine. I thought I was the clueless one around here but evidently boys and difficult conversations haven't met yet. Katie, how do you feel?" She leaned in close. Too close for Katie to be entirely comfortable and she stepped back. Her right leg hit the freezing, twisted steel; the metal bit into her flesh and she glanced down angrily. That metal had no right to be there! In her way and everything. Then, abruptly, it wasn't there any more.

"Point proven." Dina gave a satisfied little smile and put her hands on her hips. "Human."

"What-"

"Look, we all worked together and now you're real. Solid."

Katie gestured down at the bent length of grey metal that disappeared as it touched one side of her lower leg and started on the other. Having a piece of sheet steel shot through your leg wasn't as gross as it sounded.

"Well, not 100 per cent human but close enough. You're a Shade. Although I've never met one who could stand there for so long with half a limb faded out."

"Maybe she isn't finished yet. Like, ummm... transition."

"I don't know that word."

"Like... part way between one state and another. Like jelly!" Dina was inordinately proud of that one. Katie just remembered she was hungry. "You know, not quite solid but not quite liquid either. Jelly."

"I want jelly when we get home."

"You're hungry?"

_For jelly and ice-cream. With the sprinkles you only ever get at birthday parties._ Like she should have had at Freddie's birthday party last weekend. _Which Jaye was going to go to for me. I wonder if she ever made it._

"I'm tired, I'm cold, I'm scared and my head is hurting like a bitch." Katie felt the mother of all lumps rising on the back of her head but mussed her hair back over the worst of it. "The people who were here? They've all gone."

Jack turned to the road. He hadn't really looked before – too fixed on his own desires again. Maybe she was right – maybe he and Katie needed to love each other a little less so nobody else got hurt – although how did you control how many beats your heart skipped when you saw that special one? Pushing his emotions aside, Jack peered through the growing darkness by virtue of a million tail-lights going in the opposite direction and-

There

\- saw indistinct shapes flickering. Black on an inky blue. "I think I can see them." Even the traffic seemed to hush as Jack squinted out. "Not well but they're there. Every few feet is this sorta dark light. Not really here though. It goes on and off."

"How come-" Shimma got those two words out of his mouth before Dina smacked him in the shoulder to make him shut up. "Ow. Do all girls hit people when they think?"

"Only when men interrupt us," Katie answered. "I'm surprised you don't jail the whole female gender for assault. Or maybe you're into the whole pain thing."

"When we get back to work," a threatening note crept into his voice – one that meant he wasn't joking, "I'm putting you on full-time toilet duty. 'Cos I'm so into making people suffer."

Katie opened her mouth to fire off a snarky reply but was saved from realising she didn't actually have one when Dina blurted out, "Blood." She was staring at the blood matting Katie's head, then at the smudges that had transferred to Jack. "Of course. It's always blood."

For a week, something about the identical cuts a lot of their friends shared had been nagging at her. The stupid impulse to break open all their lashes and let the blood flood out in the knowledge it would sparkle not red but _silver_. _Silver_ and _pure_ and _good._ It would glitter with life and it would save the dead from the darkness. For a week, she had wondered if it was just because she had once slashed her wrists and watched her own life blood leak out of her, if that might not be why she wanted to cause herself pain again. But no. That wasn't it.

"Jack, I need you to do something disgusting. Katie, you're part of this too. Bend your head forward then shake all your hair forward." Once that was done, Dina glanced at the road. At all the people going to God-knew-where, totally oblivious to what was going on around them. A nice position to be in indeed. For one brief second she envied them their blissful ignorance then returned her attention to her friends. Being so happy and unaware was a luxury she could never again indulge in. If she ever left Northwood, there would be no forgetting what she had learned in that town; that people never had to be truly gone; that there was a place where people could be brought back;... that sometimes people shouldn't be. "Now, put your hand on her head until those lights stop flickering and stay on." It took a frustratingly long time to do though it was less than a minute really.

"Woah. How'd you know it would work?"

Dina waved him quiet, pointed at Shimma then at Katie and waited while he did the same thing. Finally, it was her turn. "Hey, you okay with this?"

_Isn't a little late for opinions?_ "Will it help?"

Dina said nothing. She couldn't say anything that would answer the question when she was not sure.

A minute later, it was done. Dozens of people wandered aimlessly in and out of passing vehicles – not even seeming to see them. Who knew? Maybe cars didn't exist where they were. A few of them still had hints of pale goodness glowing above them. But all of them had gentle faces screwed up with rage into something frighteningly vicious. All that anger and they had nothing to direct it at. So it was turning inwards, eating away at any shred of innocence within, causing the faint aura around each person to darken and thicken until it seemed as if they were no longer bodies of fallen humans at all but a giant, writhing shadow in a roughly humanoid shape.

"I can't see them now. Nice idea, D, but I don't think it worked."

Dina was staring at the people wandering all over the road. Outside her trip to the End Place six weeks ago, she had never seen so many disembodied spirits. If it was not such a horrifying sight she might have shed a tear for them. She knew how bad it felt to know that you had hurt yourself and other people and that not even in death could you make up for it. She didn't feel anything for them. Yes, they might be good people who had been turned bad by Shadow Boy through no fault of their own, but that was no excuse. "Why are they just standing there? Shouldn't they be doing something?"

"Yeah, they should be. I don't know why they're not."

"Thanks for the help, Jack. I feel informed."

"Hey, I'm still a Shade. If anyone knows what's goin' on it should be – him." He whirled and pointed at Shimma. "He's a Keeper. He should have some idea."

" _Was._ But, yes, I should know and I-"

"They're waiting," interrupted Katie. "At least, I think they are. It's weird that I can't see. It's like being blind in a way. However hard I try, I just don't see a thing apart from trees, cars and the stars."

"Waiting for what?"

_If I knew that I'd have fixed it by now, genius._ Snapping at her friends wouldn't help but Katie couldn't help feeling a tiny bit better.

There was no time to apologise though. As one, every dark figure froze. Just...stopped. For a moment, nothing happened. Katie was a little afraid to fracture the fragile silence with her question. "We're not in Northwood; how can they even be here?"

"The world is full of ghosts. Most you never see. If nobody cares then nobody will notice whether you're here or not. Human energy powers the ghosts, like a residue that people just leave behind."

"The way I can sometimes see trails of sparkles around people?"

He looked sharply over at her. There were an important few inches between their heights. He was trying not to think about what would happen if she ever gr3ew taller than him – seeing Katie hover an inch over her boyfriend in those pumps was weird enough. "You had the Vision. How long before now?"

A shrug. "A month?" Like she had been keeping track. "Why can't I see them?"

Shimma honestly did not want to have this conversation. In fact, he had been half-hoping Jack would deal with this end of things but no such luck.

"If it's like D said and it's all about blood... I'm full of the stuff."

"Cliff notes?" He waved Katie down and sat on the ground beside her. "You died. I brought you back as a ghost. Only Shades could see you because of the dead connection. You disappeared. Jaye vanished. We thought somethin' dodgy was going down."

Do people still say dodgy?

"We didn't know what was happening to you until your sister called today. We – Jack and I – made a deal with the Keepers if only we could give you the help you needed tonight."

Tonight? They thought this was going to be over tonight? "What kind of deal?"

"Something's happening!"

"What?"

"Guys. Are you seeing this too?"

Jack gulped, nodded.

Tell me!

I can't – I don't know how to explain it.

Then don't. Tell me what's happening and then let me figure it out.

Whether he would have relented and told her was lost because D jumped in. "There's no sign of that shadowy kid. Only the others. And there are a lot of them. One of them just reached into the car next to it and put his hand _right inside_ the driver. Jesus!"

"That's it?" It was a vain hope.

"He's like that now. Wait. The ghost thing, it looked like he was grabbing something, grabbing and twisting. The driver – he's slumping forward. He looks like he fell asleep at the wheel." Dina shivered inside the black woollen coat that swamped her. They all knew that wasn't what had happened. "And – oh God." She turned to the side and raced off towards the hedgerows marking the slip road. A lorry and a selection of stunning Yamaha motorbikes stood there; Dina vanished behind the artic.

"Okay, something not good is going on."

"It's all of them," Shimma whispered, afraid that to speak too loudly might attract the attentions of the angry dead. "Every single soul. They're all attacking a mortal in that way. Drivers, passengers, even that girl on the bridge." Dreading what she might see Katie looked up.

# Chapter twelve

#

#

At first, the woman on the bridge seemed to be just staring out at the lanes below her as people, one by one, died in their cars. There was no way she could have known what was going on beyond all the chaos and that was perhaps the saddest part of all. Sadder than the way she seemed frozen until she stumbled forward and doubled over the side. Sadder than the slow motion way she tipped forward and plunged to the ground with her Asda bags flying behind her, trailing magazines and fresh fruit. Already dead. The woman didn't flail or scream as she fell, didn't move at all, that's how you could tell. Katie looked away before the woman got to ground level but she heard the sickening crunch of bones anyway.

"Don't look."

"Can I not listen too?" Katie shrank back into Shimma and hid her face into the soft jumper he wore. Her fingers curled around Jack's and he gave her a reassuring squeeze.

I'm here. As long as you need.

There's not enough time in the world.

There was no reply and Katie knew she was right. There wasn't any more time to waste on feelings and fear.

"Haven't you got anything that can help? A charm or weapons or anything?" She looked up at Shimma, suddenly younger than she had ever seemed. Even as a corpse there had been a harsh edge of decay around Katie, a slight rugged look to her that could only hint at a girl who was worn to the point of breaking, of some-one who had taken on the world and would do it again if she had to. Now, though... now, in the blink of an eye, that world-weariness had vanished and she was just a sixteen year old kid with pipe dreams of saving a whole lot of innocent souls. "Silver!" she yelled into his chest, pulling back and saying it again. "If I can figure out a way to get the Keepers to spell silver – a whole load of it – then it can just _burn_ the bad out of them."

"It won't work."

"Why not? I mean, it worked against Henry Lawson when I died."

She felt Jack flinch in her hand. Maybe it was because Henry Lawson was his father. Maybe it was the reminder that Katie had died at his hands. Or, rather, at his whip. Whichever was true, she had not meant to hurt him. _I'm sorry._

What for?

Jack, this – us - all of us – might be in danger here and I brought you all into it.

_No._ He switched to his real voice. "We chose to be here. Isn't that right, Shimma? An' if things kick off tonight... we'll beat it together. Got it?"

An attempt at a nod and a smile failed miserably but the first flickerings of hope were coming back. "We can do this."

I have no idea what or how but we can do it.

"Are they still-"

"No, they've stopped. It's like-"

"They've only got enough energy to take a few people at a time. Dark souls have only a fraction of the power of the pure."

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"The Keepers told me." Katie shrugged out of the taller man's arms and settled herself inside Jack. His touch was cool and calming where Shimma had been human warm and full of nerves jumping under his skin. Jack combed sandy hair back with his fingers before clasping both hands around her waist. The position was natural enough and he had got used to kissing the back of her neck instead of the crown of her head but he couldn't help wishing he had a few extra inches. A boyfriend should be tall enough to protect his girlfriend. "I can hear them." She tapped the side of her head. Shimma glanced over at the lorry Dina had disappeared behind but didn't go over. "She's okay. Upset, shaking, trying not to be sick but okay. She just needs time."

"They tell you that too?"

"Intuition."

"New rule – no-one uses words I don't understan'."

Katie grinned at Jack. "Deal." Then she turned back to the road. "So, we're at a stalemate. The already dead will take time before they can turn any others dark. That gives us some time to work out what they're doing and stop it."

"It's pretty obvious what they're doing. Trying to turn this into a dark, shadowy place. There are a hell of a lot more dead people than live ones. That energy could overpower us."

"And, infected with hate and rage, everyone would be at war with everyone else. Nobody would know peace."

"There's always been fightin' and war and people trying to kill one 'nother. 'S how it is."

"In isolated incidents and in some countries, yes. But this will be _all over the world_ , Jack. Everywhere."

"What d'you mean by everywhere?"

How many interpretations of the word were there? "All over the world. I saw the same thing happening in other countries. Natural disasters, war zones, anywhere lots of people have lost their lives. They show up like silver dots and then they blaze for a heartbeat before turning black." Katie closed her eyes. The visions she had when she was falling continued behind her lids. On every continent, tiny lights were slowly moving, converging in a cluster in what she assumed were the foreign versions of Northwood. She did her best to describe what she saw as she was seeing it. Unfortunately, she couldn't quite convey the magnitude of this or that this problem might be too big for them to handle. They were all here, in England, how on earth were they meant to change things on the other side of the world?

It is true that we cannot meddle in human affairs. Not in any physical way. That is why we have agents and that is why we have you.

"...but they won't tell me _what to do_!" Katie finished off knowing she sounded whiny.

"I think I know." Dina, pale and red faced from crying, stared at each of them in turn. She reached forward and pushed up the sleeve on her coat. There was a jumper under that covering the thready scars on her wrist. It wasn't right but it would do for now. "We're blood. And we need to go home."

"I don't think we have half a day to walk there. This is going down right now."

"Two hours," Dina suggested and that seemed fair with the amount of time Katie thought it would take the shadow souls to reach the point of no return. But there were no buses, no taxis, and nobody was likely to stop for three teens and an adult trying to thumb a ride. Her gaze lit on the row of motorbikes. "Anyone got a delinquent past?"

As the only one with a past to speak of, suspicion fell on Shimma. He said he could hijack most things – vehicles rarely worked in Northwood so he always found himself 'borrowing' rides when he left town.

Somewhere along the way, that lovely little pain switch Katie had found in her head juddered back on and everything hurt. Tingles under her burns and scars got steadily stronger until they were fully blown hurting, somebody jabbing white hot needles into raw tissue. At least the bleeding from her head had stopped. While Shimma had been relieving two of the bikes from their temporary homes, Jack had shown her how to close the wound and then make it disappear. It was all about reaching a calm that felt entirely false, accepting that this body could not get hurt any longer – not the kind of injuries that stuck anyway - and believing it.

"How did you know?" Katie realised the question was a bit random without context. "I mean, how did you know I was a Shade and I could heal myself?"

"You looked _different_. That isn't very helpful, I know, but it's how it was. You were hungry and tired."

"Mortal feelings. Ghosts don't have human feelings.

"But Shades do."

"But I could see other ghosts earlier and I can't now."

Jack shrugged. A lost gesture from a boy who'd lived 150 years ago and still didn't have the answers. It wasn't right. "Maybe it wasn't complete 'til you got hit by that car. They say even ghosts can die by mortal means. Some Shade part of you that handles that stuff got turned off too. With the force."

"There was nothing normal about me getting hit and runned and then walking away a minute later."

"We heal fast. We can turn off pain. You're learnin' as you go."

She had a million more questions but Shimma had started the engine grumbling on the black bike with blue flames, while D had started revving the gold and red one. Neither Jack or Katie could ride one – Jack was glaring at one like he thought it might pounce – so they rode backsies. Katie clasped her arms around Dina's tiny waist, Shimma looked positively overjoyed at having Jack getting all up close and personal, and then they were off – riding carefully due to the lack of helmets, but going faster than they should have. By just a lot.

A few miles outside the WELCOME TO NORTHWOOD sign, both bikes had glided to a halt for bathroom breaks. That translated to do your business behind the tree break. The girls voted against it since squatting was a little more tricky than point and shoot. Katie folded her arms as she waited for the boys. "Hadn't you better tell me this plan? Which takes us miles away from where we need to be."

"The motorway isn't where we need to be. That's what we can see happening but that's not where we stop it. You treat the cause, not the symptom."

"Dina! There are people dying out there. Go for the symptom!"

"You said it yourself – it takes times for them to replenish their energy. Anyway, if this works, all those – why do you keep looking over your shoulder?"

"No reason."

"Right." She didn't sound as if she believed that for a second. "Is it that Shadow Boy? You're watching for him."

"He's my brother, D, of course he's going to come for me."

"Woah. That was unexpected. I never knew you had a brother."

"I don't – didn't." Katie knew her eyes were shining with tears, could feel the prickle of them burning up her throat, and wiped them away with the heel of her left hand. The flash of pain made her wince. She pushed it aside. Every part that hurt now was a wound she had received when she was alive; they would never disappear like the new cuts. She looked at the sign then up at the stars.

_How many scars have they got because of me? How many more before there's nothing_ but _marks?_

She explained quickly how her mother had lost twin boys about five months in to her pregnancy, when Katie had been too young to understand, and now one of them – Daniel – seemed to be stalking her.

"You said they were twins but only one of them came back. What happened to the other one?"

No. Not even entertaining the idea that there was another Daniel on the loose.

The boys came back before the thought had time to take root. They coaxed the bikes to the older part of town, where the infernal machines spluttered and refused to move another inch. "Shouldn't you tell somebody I'm coming home?" _Home._ Oddly, the weirdness of this little town was more relaxing than the relative safety of Worth. Maybe she should be worried about how all the chaos and stress had become synonymous with normality.

"Don't want to spoil the surprise," Shimma grinned.

"Get down my flank and protect the truck! Shoot to kill!"

A multi-player shooting game flickered on the TV where all the combatants were dressed in black and white camouflage – which was really only camouflage if one was hiding in a field of zebras. Two game controllers snaked out of the games console under the screen. An open pizza box and two beer cans stood between the two white wires.

"Adam, there's bad guys _right there."_ Exasperated, Leo turned his gun on the zombie coming up behind them and blew a hole through its chest. It kept coming. "Should've gone for the head."

"You should have been patient. Look, there're a load more on the way. If we'd waited-!

"We'd be dead by now."

"I could have taken them all out."

"With a grenade? And gone down with 'em? Clever."

Leo reached forward for his can of lager, drained the last mouthful then rolled it into the pizza box full of crusts and the red onion Adam had picked off. Something about salad ingredients on pizza was just wrong. "Against all laws of man and God," was his usual statement but it wouldn't go down well with Leo tonight. He was still feeling Katie's loss pretty bad, then Jaye had disappeared; this evening needed to be guy-time.

He jabbed the D-pad to make his character run forward, scouting the next part of the game before telling Leo to follow.

"Behind you."

"Bitch, be quiet," Leo snapped, having heard the front door unlock and Dina hang up her coat. "I know how to play."

Beside him, Adam thumbed the pause button on the game and seemed almost frozen in place. The controller fell from his hand and slowly, as if speed might scare his hopes away, he turned his head. Dina stood just inside the living room, tired, dirty, paler than he had ever seen her. Shimma and Jack had taken up perches on the arms of the sofa, looking much the same if not quite as ill. It was mildly worrying but that wasn't what caught his attention. That honour went to Katie Louise Cartwright: time of death 13.32 Tuesday 19th October. And now it was Thursday the 28th. And she was filling the open doorway. It took only a moment to look her up and down just to make sure that yes, this was the real Katie before he had jumped up and was hugging her, swinging her up and all around like a nice uncle.

She hissed in pain as his hands squeezed a little too tight. "Careful! Walking corpses have feelings too."

"Sorry. Jesus, I'm sorry. I just want to make sure you're all right."

"There are things called questions..."

"It's really you." Katie shrugged. She couldn't think of who else she would be. "But how? I mean, I didn't think – none of us thought – you were coming back."

"It's a long story." Dina pried him away, took Katie by the hand and sat her down. "And not a hugely interesting one so-"

"I got hit by a speeding car."

"Okay, _some_ of it's interesting. And we'll get round to it in time. Which," she looked down at her watch then over at Shimma for an answering nod, "we don't have much of."

"The deal runs out at midnight. Less than three hours." The eldest man of the group reached down for a pizza crust and began to chew on it thoughtfully. "It should be enough."

All of a sudden, there was a flurry of activity as Leo stood up and stalked out of the room with thunder in his face. Footsteps ran up the stairs and a door slammed so hard it more than likely had a crack running all the way around it. "He's pleased to see me. No idea I was so popular." Sarcasm dripped off every syllable but Katie was too pre-occupied to care how she sounded.

"He's got a problem with, you know, _you_ ," said Adam. AKA Captain States The Obvious. "Nobody expected you back. Just give him some time."

"No." Katie twirled a lock of brown hair around her index finger. Dried blood dust came of and sprinkled her dress. "It's more than that. I'll talk to him. Soon."

Adam reached over for the remote and turned the TV off. When she caught sight of the old Superman tattoo on his left bicep – in almost the exact same place as the whiplash on his right – she had a flash memory of him as he had been a fortnight ago. He and the house mother, his wife in all but jewellery, Lainy, had had a row about her return to work and he'd looked sick. Then there had been that unexplained absence last week ( _God, it seemed like a lifetime ago at least_ ) and the tests Dr de Rossa had been so eager for Lainy to have and wouldn't tell her about. It all had to be something wrong with Adam... "What about you? Are you okay?"

He moved across the room and sat on the other side of her, turning so he could ease the twist of hair that had turned her finger completely white. Putting a finger under her chin, he tilted her face up and searched Katie's eyes deeply as though something in them would tell him she was all a lie. "Jesus, you have no clue how much better I am now. Yes, I'm fine. I was never the one to worry about. So." He released her then sat back so he could see the filthy trio Katie had brought home with her. "Have you got time to get cleaned up? I just vacuumed."

"No." Short and sweet. Dina must hold the world record for saying so much in one tiny word. It carried with it hints of a thousand reasons why they didn't have washing time. "At midnight tonight, these two get busted down to human. Like us, she added to Adam. Her own gaze hadn't risen from the floor yet but now it went to her broken nails. She pulled a nail file from the drawer in the coffee table and started to file down the edges as she spoke. "These two are crazy, you realise. I mean, I know I have mental health issues but these are completely. Fucking. Insane."

Katie stretched behind Dina and grabbed for Jack.

"Do you know the Keepers are going to turn Jack mortal at midnight? And then they're going to punish Shimma by stripping him of his powers. Apparently, they both did a deal today so they could come and help us. This one was trapped in the Dead World – sounds horrible – and they blocked the city limits to Shimma."

"You're... you're going to be normal? Not normal but... living and dying mortal?"

"And I'd give up that life too if I thought it would help."

Katie choked on a sob.

"There are people dying out there. Souls being damned. And we have to restore them before midnight while we still have some power. So, no, we really can't stop to wash up." D paused. "Plus one of the Evil Twins is after her."

"Oh."

Five minutes later Katie was standing in front of the bathroom mirror and wondering where her life had taken such a wrong turn. Eight weeks ago, she had left her home town behind, assuming she would leave all the bad things behind too. Levenson Academy of Sport and Action had offered her early admission so she could get the proper training to further her cross country running career and diversify to track and full on road races. Once she was here though, the trouble had started in earnest and now she stood here decorated in scars and burns from bad dreams, bad men and bad decisions. There would be more scars if some-one had not spirited them all away. The Keepers? Would they be that kind? As she washed the worst of the grime away, Katie silently thanked Dina for saying she had an hour to wash, change and get ready for...well, she had not said yet. "Prepare for pain," had been the general idea. And that sounded scary enough. Her own thoughts were making this worse though. How did you prepare for pain exactly? Short of flak jackets and bulletproof forcefields – both of which the house was alarmingly low on. Dina had taken Shimma and a protesting Jack – who said he should stay here in case Shadow Boy had followed them here – out of the house saying they had important things to do first and made Katie promise to be at Shimma's club by ten forty five at the latest. So, like a good girl, she had vowed to be there on time. But there was just under an hour to kill before then and she did not know quite what to do with it. She looked longingly at the bath tub but no, the hot water would only make her even more sleepy and falling to sleep now was not an option because a five minute doze could easily turn into five hours. Besides, last time she had had a bath, it hadn't ended brilliantly. Nearly drowning not brilliantly. So bed was out of the question too. There was no question of going back downstairs just to get involved in a conversation with Adam which would consist of him asking questions she could not answer. What did that leave?

Her spare hairbrush was where she had left it ten days ago on the top of the towel rack. Katie ran the bristles under the cold tap and used it to scrub the worst of the blood out of her hair. Weird that there was nothing there now - no bump or scab - it was as though the blood had appeared from nowhere. That done, she found her orange toothbrush and cleaned her teeth until her mouth tasted of mint and not week old morning breath. Still, that only wasted ten minutes.

Fish.

If anybody had bothered to look after Bobby Fish and feed him, Katie ought to go and check.

The fishbowl was no longer on her chest of drawers where it usually was. It hadn't been in the living room either. Most of the housemates spent a lot of time in the kitchen; he was probably down there, swimming in lovely little circles, completely oblivious to the chaos the bipeds were causing. Too tired to go and investigate, Katie sat on the edge of her bed and contemplated her wardrobe. She got as far as sliding her long legs into some pale blue jeans and laying a long-sleeved t-shirt on the bed. The dirty and frayed tennis dress hung over her jeans to her thighs. Swapping it for the clean top was too much like hard work. That little pain switch seemed to be jammed; every muscle was in rebellion and every nerve was tipped with fire. Everything hurt. It took a force of will just to pry her eyes back open after every blink. Caffeine – caffeine and sugar would fix everything, for a little while at least. The stash of Red Bull was still tucked under her desk where it had been left... although there seemed like there were a few less cans, and the Doritos bag was empty and crumpled. Even her books seemed in different orders, though it was pretty hard to be absolutely sure in the familiar chaos. But it was still hers. _Her_ space.

Katie popped the tab on a can and sipped it in between pulling on a pair of baseball boots, waiting for the energy drink to work its magic. Pain began to fade out around the edges as she busied herself with mundane tasks like tidying her bedroom a little. Brushing old papers into her top desk drawer, Katie found herself picking up a creamy envelope and sitting down with it. It was a letter from the Worth Police Service informing her that they were no longer treating her rape as an active investigation. _Insufficient evidence_ they called it. A shadow fell across the dimly lit room. Immediately, Katie thought that Daniel had come to take her out before she could interfere with his plans any more. But why would he do that? Daniel was her little brother for God's sake! He couldn't want to hurt her, surely.

"What are you doing here?"

Ahh. Leo. Not really a great substitute but beggars couldn't be choosers. "It's my room."

"Katie, don't- is something wrong?"

"No," she lied. Lied because everything was wrong; nothing was how it was meant to be. Instead she held up the envelope. Leo recognised it for what it was and his tense shoulders softened a little. Her attack earlier in the year was no longer a secret in the house but it was not something she wanted to shout from the rooftops. "When I moved here, they said they were dropping the case. Couldn't find the guy, didn't have enough evidence to look for him, whatever. But today... yesterday even... I saw him. I didn't recognise him – the whole thing is still a blur – but I sort of possessed him and I felt his darkness. I felt dirty for hours. It was like he was a good man on the outside but there was depravity, cruelty on the inside. Urgh," she shuddered at the memory and couldn't stop herself flinching away when Leo put a hand on her knee. He moved a second later, moved back to the other side of the tiny room – about five steps – clearly uncomfortable with their closeness. "You can stay sitting by me if you want."

Leo inched closer and balanced on the edge of the desk. He had never been much good at comforting people and social interaction was less than a strong point for him. Besides, the things that had happened between them in the last few days of her life made things really awkward. There were so many things both of them should say, _needed_ to say, but neither of them could find the right words.

"You're not real," Leo finally said. How could she be real when he had watched her die, heard her begging them to let her go. Not when he had seen the ambulance take her to the hospital with no blues and twos flashing and screaming: no urgency. As far as the paramedics were concerned she had been dead at the scene and unequivocally gone by the time the doctors had got their hands on her. He had even been to the memorial service held for her immediate family and Northwood friends. That was it, right? That was the end.

Katie stood up and unpinned something from her wall. Dina had told her to bring the crystal and one remaining tarot card that Mademoiselle Romani had given her. She was to wear something silver too; her jewellery collection was meagre to say the least, but there was a ring her Gran had given her for her last birthday. _Sixteen. Technically, I'm going to be sixteen for the rest of my life._ Even if she got older, Shades rooted in this world were susceptible to all the natural afflictions that came with getting older all the way down to wrinkles and saggy boobs. "I assure you I am -"

A tornado of air and darkness rushed into the room. Katie threw her hands up to protect her eyes and flattened herself against the wall. The door slammed, locking her in with Leo – who could get hurt and not recover with a thought – and...

"Daniel?"

A figure rose up out of the thick black fog and Shadow Boy stood in front of her.

"Did you follow me here?"

Daniel groaned a reminder that he did not know any words other than the few he had spoken to her. _Soon you will remember me._

Right now, though, he didn't look as he had just a handful of hours ago. Still, the strange black shadows moved over him but they weren't as thick, weren't as dark or dangerous. And the shaded brown eyes that had told her the truth were clear and deep and nothing but desperation hid in them. This was the brother she had always been meant to have. Whatever had been forcing him to do all those terrible things was gone now. It might come back at any moment, though, the scared child-like face turned to hers was proof enough. His skin was so white that it was grey, and it was lined. Child's skin should be smooth, maybe a zit or two, blemishes, but not etched with such deep worry lines or stretched this tight. Katie took half a precious second to run a hand over her own face. Cool, damp, scarred. Child's skin should not feel like that either.

"You know this freak?" spat Leo. "Another one of your lost causes, I suppose."

"What happened to I'm a Christian. We help everyone."

A hard look shut his mouth to whatever nasty comment he had brewing.

_You remember me._ Katie swallowed, nodded. _Katie. Remember Katie._ He wasn't telling her to remember any more. He was telling himself to remember _her._ Or maybe that he always had remembered her.

Daniel held his hands clasped before him in agitated silence, shifting from one foot to the other. Waiting for something.

"Somebody needs to say it. Time's ticking away and this dude's just wasting it."

"He's not wasting time, Leo. He's my brother and he was hurting people. But he's here now –" _different,_ "and I trust him." Katie ignored the questions that spilled out of his mouth – they were the same ones Dina had begun to ask on the journey home and she would tell the whole story when everyone was back together. "What's wrong?" Stupid. Daniel had no way of answering. However, the look he gave her was so full of pleading and despair that there was absolutely no way she could not act on it. Something was deeply, deeply wrong. Something only Katie could fix, otherwise why would this boy of her buried memories have come here? Wordlessly, a mini backpack was filled with her card, crystal, phone and a hair scrunchie. Her hair was greasy and frizzy around her face: if she got out of this in one piece, it was all coming off and going into the chin-length style Jaye and Dina shared. There were already a few things in there that she couldn't be bothered to fish out: broken pen, Dads penknife, playing cards. _Wow, I collect some serious junk!_ As an afterthought, thinking about the woman in the car with her good luck troll, she grabbed a necklace off the desk – a loop of suede cord with ANGEL in lettered beads, her personal lucky charm – and dropped it over herself. "I'm ready." What she was ready for was a mystery but, with a sudden surge of adrenaline, Katie wasn't sure if there was anything she couldn't face.

She stepped forward and tightened the bag straps on her shoulders. Everything seemed better – less overwhelming – when you had a bag on your back. "Are we going somewhere? It's okay if you can't say. I know you need to take me somewhere and I trust you."

"It's past ten o'clock. Dina said to be at the club at a quarter to eleven."

"You were listening?"

Leo shrugged. He wasn't going to say or do anything that might earn him brownie points. It was the expectations he couldn't handle, the expectation to start being kind and helpful all the time. "Don't give a crap if you trust him, I don't. An' I'm not letting you go anywhere with him. Not on your own."

All the protests were whipped away when he advanced on her, took one hand in his and let the shadowy young boy sandwich them between his.

And then they were spinning, flying, through a star-shot night sky. It was so much more exhilarating than the flight-by-Keepers she had experienced before now, and it took a great force of will not to scream and whoop in delight.

This wasn't scary in the tiniest part. The sense of speed was numbing, not seeing where she was going was disorienting. It was amazing. Katie fixed her eyes on Leo and discovered that her hands were clamped on his shoulders, his on hers. She should have pulled back but she didn't. Didn't even consider it. He had never looked so young or carefree. To take this moment from him would be a disaster. He pinned her wildly roving eyes with his own. The darkest blue on the spectrum and full of tiny, almost invisible flecks of gold. Each eye was a dying galaxy and Katie drifted closer, trying to see further, make out planets, suns, stars. All she saw, in the end, was her own eyes reflected back. Endless, muddy brown, hard.

Katie moved until she was flying by his side, her left hand gripping tightly to his right, her head thrown back. The briefest laugh escaped her and rang on the stars. Her companion joined in. They spent seconds, minutes, hours, smiling at the sky and not even knowing quite why. The infinite sky seemed to be made just for the two of them tonight. A pang of... guilt? Because it should have been Jack sharing in the magic, Jack holding her tight in case she fell. But he wasn't here. Not for the first time, he was somewhere else when she needed him. Okay, there were more important things, and Jack no doubt had concerns of his own but it didn't stop it hurting. The two shared a smile, pure and untouched by what ifs or buts.

Then the falling started and Leo pulled her against him. Katie didn't much enjoy it but she was used to having her stomach in her throat. Eyes closed now, she felt rather than heard a voice mumble into her hair "I'm scared."

When Katie felt solid ground beneath her feet, all memory of that night-time confession vanished.

They were in the corridor of her nightmares.

A long, narrow corridor that stretched further than she could see. The place was such a brilliant white that it needed no artificial light to illuminate it; the walls took care of that. Even so, there were square windows set deep into roughly a foot of brick or stone, at about waist height and at regular intervals of a couple of metres. They let in a kind of dull grey light, the kind a cloud might emit if it could. The floor seemed to be tile but it was shiny and cold-looking like marble. At the eventual end of this walkway would be a T junction. Both directions were another long corridor of white and windows. At the end of that was a door which could be pushed open and you thought you could close it, maybe take a moment to breathe, put some distance between you and the monsters. But the second you straightened up, they would be right behind you and the rest of eternity was running, running, running away in endless circles, down endless halls, slamming through identical doors without ever getting further away. Without ever knowing if there was a way out. It was a common nightmare. Only this one was different. She was awake for this one.

Nor was Katie running from monsters.

No, this time, she was sure, she was running towards them.

At least she had Leo at her back.

"What now?" he asked. An 18 year old man was asking orders of a 16 year old girl. And that was... weirdly, it was okay.

"Now," said Katie, hoiking her bag further up and twisting her hair into the scruffiest ponytail imaginable. "Now we walk down into the belly of the beast."

"Beast?"

"I'm pretty sure you can't get out of here without help. And we won't get that if we don't find out what's down there and, given my track record, it is going to be intense and, more than likely, evil."

"So we just toddle off down this hall without a clue what's on the other end."

"Well, it probably won't be _this_ one. It might take a while." Long enough for the pair of them to get nice and freaked out, worrying about what they might find. Katie suddenly remembered. She looked around wildly for Daniel. A figure all of moving black would stand out like a demon among angels against all this white. But he was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps this was a place he couldn't/wouldn't go. Maybe he had already gone ahead of them or done the sensible thing and run in the opposite direction. Three options were all Katie would allow herself to consider because the ( _answer_ ) only other alternative was too horrible to even contemplate... That she had been lured here. Why? What possible use could she be? Questions were a luxury neither of them had time for right now. Her brain went into shutdown and her feet were carrying her down the tunnel before she realised Leo was walking beside her and speaking in a panic-tinged whisper.

"... without weapons?"

"We have a weapon. We have me."

Surprisingly, the end of their journey came fast. The corridor ended in a flat white door with no internal window. Until now, Katie had not given much thought to how useful it was to be able to see what was in front of you. Even when there was nothing but danger and the promise of pain barrelling towards a person, people always liked to know what was coming.

"Err.... Katie?"

"Wait! If there's-"

"Watch." Leo grabbed the collar of her top and twisted her around until her back was turned to the door, just inches away but close enough to feel the chill bouncing off it.

Katie frowned and shook herself free of him. Then she looked back down the way they had come. The bight corridor was disappearing. Not blinking out of existence or falling away or anything so dramatic. It was just dissolving: white faded into the inky midnight blue and then... and then it just wasn't there any more. And the magical vanishing act crept further along the corridor, taking out inch after inch of white stone. It kept coming closer and, at four feet away, it wasn't so magical. Blindly, she grabbed for Leo, caught a fistful of his hoodie and pulled him back, away from the menacing empty night. It edged closer and closer and they shuffled further and further back. There was the slimmest of chances that the floor was still there, albeit invisible; that the universe was just screwing with them... Katie wasn't about to take that chance. Another section of the white hall faded into midnight blue and the pair were touching the cool door with their backs, the tiny weight of resistance behind it. The dissolving floor progressed. Pressed as flat into the door as possible, there was nowhere left for them to go except down. Nothing left to do but wait.

"Locked," said Leo. She hadn't even seen him move to check the door.

Nowhere left to go...

Nothing left to do...

His arm tensed under her hand. Reading that sudden tension as TROUBLE with a capital TROUBLE, Katie squashed her own panic down and opened all the senses she had closed off.

Screaming.

Faint and weak but unmistakeable. It was the heart-rending sound of somebody being tortured and tormented. And it was coming from the other side of the door. Somebody was being horribly abused behind this locked door and she wanted to _go in_! Why did she want that? That was insane. And yet... wasn't the unknown better than the end you knew was coming?

With a _snick_ , the door unlocked and swung open under the combined weight of Katie and Leo, sending them both tumbling through and down to the floor. On the way down, Leo put himself so he would hit the ground first and he could cushion her fall. _So not happening._ All knowledge that the fall didn't have to hurt flew out of Katie's head and Adam's training kicked in. He had taught her how to fall properly. She was just twisting herself into the right position when the stone floor reared up and smacked her in the face. A pitiful laugh touched her ears.

"Katie!" Leo hauled her up. "Where are we?"

She limped over to the door, which had swung shut behind them, and felt for a handle to pull on. When she found none, Katie put her shoulder to it and pushed. Definitely locked. One way in – no way out. Fabulous. She leaned against it while she got her breath and balance and rooted through her little bag. "Sorry. I haven't got a map. How the crap should I know where we are!?"

"Because it was your idea to follow the mute assassin."

Good point.

"Come on. We better take a look and see if we can find who-ever was screaming."

"Are you a rabbit?"

"What?"

"Are. You. A. Rabbit? Maybe you ate a whole field of carrots when you went home."

"You're not making any sense, Leo. The stress is getting to you, isn't it?"

Well, he wasn't about to deny this wasn't exactly beer-and-video-games relaxing. In fact, he was so busy not denying it that he missed the pathetic excuse for a laugh that came a second later. Katie and her new razor sharp Shade senses didn't though. It was so exhausted, that sound, and this place _felt_ so big, that it just got lost in the air.

Implacable.

I won't give up until I find you.

She sent the promise out through her thoughts, as loud and strong as possible.

"Earth calling. Or... where-ever we are. I can't see anything past my nose."

"What do you mean? I can see fine."

"Night vision must be one of your superpowers then."

Katie looked around her. Black walls ringed a large chilled room. It was probably larger than the entire athletics stadium back at the academy. A tiny slit under the door let in the dark light that had swallowed the corridor. There were torches – the medieval kind you lit and burned – along the far wall, but not one of them were in use. If this was the stadium then they were floodlights nobody had turned on yet. Thinking about it like that made it a bit less freaksome.

"We don't have- never mind. Here, there's a light on it somewhere." Katie scrolled through the apps on her phone until she found the right one, turned it to maximum and handed it across.

Pure white light washed the room in a pale glow that reminded Katie, uncomfortably, of wandering through clouds and energy to reach the Keepers. She shivered.

"Cold?"

"Actually, no." Although the temperature in the room was barely in double figures. "This place... it's like a basement in a horror flick. Where the stupid blonde hides from the guy with the knife."

"Neither of us are blonde and one of us ain't that dumb."

# Chapter thirteen

Every sound echoed off distant walls. Footsteps bounced around and sounds as if they came from everywhere but their own feet. Katie stood still for a second and put a finger to her lips, trying to hear that awful half laugh, half sob again.

"When I saw you tonight," Leo began, his words almost choking their way out, "I thought you were a dream."

"Do you dream about me a lot?"

"Since you... went away, I've been staying in your room. Once, I prayed for you. I prayed that you'd be safe where-ever you went."

"Further proof that God is just a word. This is probably the least safe place there is."

"You're a Shade and you physically can't get badly hurt. I call that pretty safe, don't you?"

Katie stayed quiet. The wall to her left was quite uneven with rocks and stones so she went over to it. Something cool like a hidden door was too much to hope for but there might be some chunks of loose stone they could use to smash the windows up there. She pointed at Leo and then at the opposite wall.

"What am I looking for?" he asked, obediently going over and running his fingers over the cold, hard rock.

"A way out. I refuse to believe we're trapped here. If you can find a loose chunk of wall or something then maybe we can use it to smash a window or something." Though, realistically, even if they could reach it neither Katie or Leo was going to fit through that gap.

"So we're just gonna cut and run? And leave some poor git behind?"

"No, we're making an escape route."

"Before we find whoever was screaming?"

"What is your problem, Leo? Nobody asked you to come."

"Not in words, no. But I don't trust that kid in your room. Where'd he go anyway?"

Before Katie had a chance to think about a suitable answer, that pathetic scream came again. "I don't like the sound of that."

"Me neither. We should find them first. Once they're safe, then we can work on getting outta here."

"You know, you make a lot of sense when you want to."

"Don't get used to it."

"Right... the xenophobia thing." With a deep-seated dislike of Shades, Leo was, with hindsight, not the best person to have at her back. As people who had died but been deemed too important to remain as ash and bone, Shades were given the chance to resume their old lives in the knowledge that they would live and age until natural causes claimed them. It went against what Leo believed; his interpretation of the Bible was that dead should mean dead. And yet here he was. Standing yards away from Katie and here by choice. "Just keep it shut and keep looking."

He did not make a sound, but he did not move back to his examination of the wall either. Watching the young girl stretch and bend through the glow of the phone was too entertaining. Part of Leo wanted her to be the girl he had kissed the weekend before last. She still _was_ that girl. She was still beautiful and vibrant and vital. There was no denying that her death had changed something though – something important. He could still want her, still walk at her side, still risk everything for just one smile that broke his heart. And she was too dead inside to notice.

"What are you staring at?"

"You. Well, everything actually."

"Leo, we're in a large dark room with black walls, black floor, it's freezing and it's all immovable rock. Just _rock_!" Katie emphasised her frustration by kicking out at the wall. Nothing happened. She might have broken a toe but it didn't hurt for long. "There's nothing interesting to look at."

"Not on the walls or floor no, but where haven't we looked?" The white beam from the phone angled up and couldn't even penetrate the darkness far enough to find a ceiling. Luckily, all the pair needed to see was illuminated.

Or, unluckily.

A balcony ceiling jutted several feet out from the back wall. The light cast everything half in shadow, a couple of hunched figures and a chair. One of the figures walked over and braced its hands on the back of the chair. Leo squinted up to see better but Katie could see perfectly. One of the figures was a girl, small and slim, blue eyes that pierced the room.

Katie took a step back.

By the time Leo had managed to tear his eyes from the dark sight above him, Katie was long gone and moving almost too fast for him to track her through the gloom. She was running across the room and then she was hanging from the edge of the half-ceiling and clambering her legs up. "How – how did you get up there?"

Valid question. It was about a dozen feet above the ground.

Leo moved closer and shone his light over the shadows. Not that it really made much difference to Katie, he supposed, but it made him feel useful. "I'll keep looking for a way out or something."

Katie nodded and then twisted to see where she was without waiting for Leo to move. The girl in the shadows whimpered again – a dreadful, broken sound that filled the air with despair. "Jaye." She took a step towards her friend but Jaye shrank further back into the shadows. Recoiling from _her_ touch.

"Don't take it personally," said a second voice. Low, sultry, female. "She doesn't even remember her own name. Well, maybe she does but we don't use it."

"What," Katie whirled to face the source of the voice, her words cutting through the hush like daggers, "have you done to her?" One foot stamped down to stop the spin with the last word. The rest of the space seemed empty of people although there was the chair she had seen somebody leaning on. There was a flat bundle of straw at the far side which evidently was being used as a bed. A battered wooden crate formed a makeshift table with scraps of food and a length of rope. She shuddered at the sight.

"Me? Why, I've done nothing to the poor little girl. She was so... accommodating last time."

"Accommodating?"

"Mmm. I thought, given our history, she might welcome me with open arms but no. You see," the voice went on. Katie had the vague impression that she was being spoken to from somewhere very close to her. The table, if she was pushed to guess. "Oh, don't strain yourself, you can't see me until I take a new body."

"Take a-? Possession." Wasn't that the most fun thing she had ever heard? Last time Katie had faced a possessed person, she had got shot, nearly smothered by spirits in the End Place, and beaten half to death in her college common room.

"And back to me. You, child, you've had a vey bad influence on this one. Every little thing I say or do, she refuses me. It got quite tiresome so...I'll have to take this one again." A dark shape blinked into existence, standing on top of the crate. A figure so completely covered by moving, living evil that even Katie's enhanced Shade vision couldn't see beyond it. A moment later, the figure jumped down from the crate and some of the darkness faded, not by much but enough to make out a human face.

"He's been resisting me too. Over and over again. Cute really."

"If you have a problem with me, then say it."

"Funny you should say that really. I _do_ have a bone to pick with you girly, but I want to do the whole story. I'm after the full effect here."

"Strange that I'm not."

"I wonder how far you'd go to save your brother. Soon you will remember me. Isn't that how it went? I was in his body every time this one – Daniel, isn't it? – and he so thoughtfully brought me to you every single time when he thought he could protect you."

"Get out of him!" Katie growled. "Leave my family alone!"

"Why, when they're so very useful in bending you to my will? Okay." Daniel pulled the chair over to him and sat down, lifting his legs and crossing them at the ankles on the crate. "For me to leave him intact, there's a price."

"Isn't there always? Name it."

Daniel brought his hand up to his face and turned it over as if he had never seen it. He blew on his fingers like a girl drying fresh nail polish and some of the shadows blew away like cobwebs, leaving his skin as smooth and human-looking as her own. It was just a display, Katie realised, a show of how easy it would be to leave him. "Just to save him. This boy you barely know. Well, if I'd known you were so easy to manipulate, this could have gone so much quicker."

"Who are you? Why are you using my family to get to me?"

"Because you made me a promise. Oh, come on, you can't have forgotten already.... It wasn't even that long ago."

"I don't know what you're talking about. And if I make a promise, I sure as hell would not break it."

"Oh, but you did." Daniel let out a chuckle, deep and sexy. It made the air shiver. "Last time we met, you agreed to a partnership with me. To provide me with souls in exchange for that girl... that soiled soul you seem to value so much. And then you never delivered. Very disappointing, Kathleen."

"Ohhh, you're _her_. And I only answer to Katie."

"Yes. I'm her. She. The one too old to have a name."

"I don't remember making any kind of promises to you."

"You wouldn't. Death accepts vows in different ways from you lot."

"Us lot."

Daniel looked steadily at Katie and continued without pausing for breath. "I asked – and very nicely, I might add – for you to choose me nice new bodies and souls in order to leave your Jaye alone. Now, you may not have used the words – you might have refused me even – but the fact remains. I left her. And now... you owe me."

"Hmmm. You've pretty much body-snatched my friend and my little brother. Haven't you caused enough damage?"

"I knew you'd be like this. That's why I put my back-up plan into action yesterday."

Katie took a second to flash back through the events of today and yesterday. "The crash." It had to be. It was an event that had killed more people than had survived, and now those souls were wandering around, lost, confused, and ripe for corruption. "You rigged that up. Why?"

"Mostly because I could. If you won't give me what I want then what choice do I have but to just take it? And I have the whole world to choose from. Oh, come, of course I know the Keepers showed you that. I'm active all over the world. I am hardly going to keep that a secret."

"Those are innocent people."

"Purity wouldn't be so easy to turn. You know that. Look how long it took evil to claim you."

Katie winced. The memory was not a nice one. Involuntarily, she took a step back and her bag dropped into the darkness. "They're dead and they don't remember how it happened. You think it's fair game to take people who don't even know who they are?"

"Yes." Daniel stood up and walked forward. He stood close to Katie and, whilst every instinct screamed at her to move out of arms reach, there was nowhere left to go without following her bag down to the rocky ground.

"It has nothing to do with fair! It has to do with you getting what you want. Which is..?"

"Same thing I wanted before. A steady supply of bodies and souls so I can stay in your world. Or, rather, so I have a vessel ready and waiting when I decide I want to cross over."

"I am not cherry picking host bodies for you."

"I burn through you humans so easily. It'd only be a few every month. You'll hardly even notice them." Said like the sacrifice of human lives, even complete strangers, meant nothing. Maybe, to She, it didn't. But Katie... Katie couldn't even imagine herself giving up unwitting mortals to this, this _being_. "You're so delicate."

"Me? Delicate?"

"You're the exception to the rule and that makes you, dear child, extremely valuable. Surely you know that much." Daniel came even closer, barely an inch from touching noses. If he was breathing it had no smell, no temperature. He grinned. "You can't tell me you haven't noticed that everything bad seems to happen when you're around. Like I'm happening." He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her tight, whispering, "It's all about you, kid."

He released his hold but Katie jerked back before he moved. Her foot scrabbled to find the floor but found only air. Her momentum was too great and she fell over the edge. The only comfort as Katie plunged towards the floor was that Daniel still had his hands on her hips and was going down with her. He would end up as damaged as- No, no, no! This was all wrong. It was not Daniel that deserved the damage – it was the thing inside him. She had a split second to decide whether to control the fall and spin to let Daniel take the impact in the hopes that She would get hurt too – _not likely_ – or whether to curl his slightly smaller body into her own and protect her little brother even if it meant sharing that cocoon of safety with _her_. The latter option won out. There was just no way she could let a defenceless little boy take a hit like that. Truthfully, she barely knew Daniel and might never see him again, but blood ran deep.

Katie let go of him as soon as she hit the rock floor, the wind knocked out of her so completely that all coherent thought went on sudden holiday. He rolled away and there was a light flutter of feet finding the ground a yard or two away from her. Daniel. Maybe his body was bloody and broken, if it was corporeal enough to sustain such damage, but She wouldn't care. She would force him to walk on fractured legs if it served her purposes. "Ah-hah-hah," Katie hissed out when she tried to move. It didn't hurt half as much as she had feared but not being able to get her breath was worse than any pain she could dream up.

A shadow made a dark streak across the strobing lights behind her eyelids. _Daniel, if you're in there anywhere, you won't hurt me._ Surely he wouldn't kick her when she was down? But, it wasn't Daniel in control any more, was it? It was She. And She had turned Daniel into the Shadow Boy who had first come to her. Who had tried to drag her into the Dead World with him. Had he been trying to save her even then? Had he somehow known that was the safest place for her? Face down, Katie pushed herself up until she was resting the weight of her upper body on her elbows and coughed until she thought the lining of her throat might rip. A hand closed over the back of her neck and roughly pulled her up. Katie stiffened and her muscles bunched, ready to throw him off.

"Hey, cool it, bitch."

"It's just you, Leo. Where'd he go?"

"Took off into the shadows. Breathe, okay." He held her hands flat to her sides and refused to move until she was breathing deeply and evenly with him. "Are you hurt?"

"Jaye's up there. I saw her. You need to-"

"I need you to be okay before you do anything stupid."

"But Jaye-"

"Will be fine for a bit. Nobody's up there with her are they? Exactly. No-one to hurt her."

"What if she hurts herself?" Katie couldn't forget that flinch away when she had reached out to her friend. "She didn't even recognise me." Her bottom lip began to tremble and she bit down on it to forestall the tears.

"We've gotta trust she's stronger than that, right." Leo brought the phone up to his face to check the battery. The light was burning the charge pretty quickly – it was down to half battery already and it had been on charge at home before Shadow Boy turned up. "I'm turning the light off." A second's warning before he thumbed the torch app closed, slid the phone into his jeans and slapped his hand into hers. "No smackin' me into walls either."

Was he... was he trusting her? An unexpected occurrence. And maybe one she couldn't handle. Right now, all Katie wanted was to go racing off into the depths of the room, where there was a dark tunnel opening which definitely hadn't been there earlier, to find her brother. And she couldn't very well do that if she was holding another person by the hand. She had to push back her straining muscles and ignore the faint stickiness between their palms. Apart from that mistake of a kiss between them a week and a half ago, Katie hadn't been this close to a guy other than Jack in months. It made her nervous. But that was not important. _Couldn't_ be important.

"Hold on tight. I'm going fast." A squeeze of her hand in response.

"It's getting late," Leo murmured as Katie walked fast to the far wall. Being a Shade seemed to have improved the main five senses, and it came with handy perks like bucking the laws of nature and physics, but it did sweet nothing in the way of cool stuff like mega-speed or super-strength.

"You afraid of the dark?" Leo snorted in answer. "Man up. I've been to some dark places – some so dark I forgot what the light looked like. And you guys got me through it – my friends pulled me out. Now I just need you to trust that I am going to get you safely through these tunnels. Do you trust me?"

"Where? Where've you seen anything to block out the light?" He knew that was a mistake as soon as he heard himself say the words.

Her step faltered slightly. Leo must have noticed because he froze instantly. "Everything is so bright now that I think my whole life has been in the shade. I loved Worth... where I grew up. It was safe and cosy and they taught me a lot. Arthur Claymore High taught me to run. Then I was attacked, and suddenly it wasn't such a nice place anymore. They taught me to run away. The night before I left home, I met Jack."

"And he showed you the light. Really helping."

"No, but he showed me that there _could_ be light. It just had to get a whole lot worse before it got better." Most of what had happened since her arrival in Northwood was common knowledge. "When I died I was in such a bad place, Leo. I'd nearly let everyone die in that fire, I was – you were right – I was a bitch."

"But I thought the silver burned all the crap outta you."

"Oh, it did. And it still burns me now. There's nothing evil in me now but I can feel it everywhere I go, in everyone I see. Even in you. Just flecks. Black on black." The tunnel ahead forked off – one tunnel carrying on straight ahead and one branching off to the right. Straining to hear any sound that belonged to her brother, Katie took a few steps into the right tunnel then changed her mind and turned down the other passage. "What did I have to live for?"

"Me," he said so softly Katie would not have heard him without super Shade hearing. "You had us, Katie. You had the chance to live and you turned it down."

If only the tunnel was a different colour and made of concrete it could have been the corridor the two of them had so recently wandered down. Both were long, silent and ended in shadows when the eye could see no further. And there was that dread feeling too that they were walking into the monsters lair. "I wish-" _it was that simple._ Katie stopped and felt Leo tense up behind her.

"What? What's going on?"

"I have absolutely no idea."

The scene was set. Daniel was standing in the middle of the narrow tunnel. It wasn't the most dramatic of places for a final fight – not the epic, great hall battle the films kept banging on about. No, the large room where they'd met was out of the question. Far too spacious. Too many places for young Katie to escape. Of course, there was always a chance the human might tire herself with all that running around...

Katie grinned as if she had read that thought. "I'm game if you are."

Perhaps the child really could pick up thoughts. Hmmm... an interesting power for a human to have. Few mortals ever developed the ability and fewer of them retained it in the afterlife. Granted, Katie had been exposed to the strange powers of her little town.

"Are you talking to me?"

Katie did not dare take her eyes off the person in front of her so she muttered across to Leo, "No, I'm talking to-" She used her free hand to dip in his pocket for her phone. Then she unlocked the screen, opened the torch and clipped it to the holder on her own jeans, pointing at her brother, "who-ever that is right now."

Daniel smiled a tiny smile, more a sneer, and shuffled back a few inches. He turned to the side and suddenly there was Jaye on her knees and staring up at this hideous/wonderful being. She had a vacant smile on her face and a scar on her right arm flickered. One moment it was glowing insistent and silver, the next moment it was gone and only flawless, pale skin remained. She rummaged around in a bag – Katie recognised her tiny denim backpack and swallowed down a cry of indignation – grabbed something and offered it up. The object glinted silver. It took a moment or two but, even in darkness, the shine of a weapon was unmistakable. The slightly rusty penknife. Daniel took it and touched Jaye's face. She looked down, almost blushing. That girl had never looked so peaceful.

Daniel flicked the blade out, reversed his grip like a pro until it was hovering right above his diaphragm. "Resourceful, aren't I?"

"Psychopath resourceful."

"Oh, you do compliment me."

"It wasn't a compliment."

"Really? It came across as one. Now, care to introduce me to your friend here." Daniel turned to face Leo, letting the penknife dangle from his fingers. "Oh, it's you. I remember you from before."

"You know each other. Oh – right – of course you do." Early in the school year, back when Katie had been only half-conscious and discharging herself from the hospital – Jack, Jaye and Leo had faced off with this thing and sent it back to the Dead World. Whatever had happened then seemed to have been a temporary measure only, though, because here She was. In the flesh. _In my brother's flesh,_ Katie corrected.

"It took me years to recover. Of course, that's just a moment really."

Katie clenched her fists by her thighs and glanced across. "Time is... wonky over there." Leo nodded like that made perfect sense. She respected him in that instant. Just a tiny bit.

"Did you tell her what happened? No? Oh, it was beautiful, Kathleen, it really was. Such reminiscing. We go way-" then that titanium hold faltered and the complete blackness over Daniel faded for a few seconds. For a single breath, She had been pushed aside – the death spirit holding fort in his fragile body locked out – and he was purely Daniel. The deep chocolate brown eyes that most of the Cartwright family shared, the slightly crooked grin because they all smiled when they wanted to cry. _Katie. You... Katie._ Somewhere. Whatever happened next, her brother was in there. And he was begging her to get this over with. Giving his permission for... for anything she thought necessary.

Anything.

"Samael."

"Samuel? Who the hell is Samuel?"

"Not Samuel. Samael."

The remnants of Daniel broke apart and darkness filled him once more. "You remember me. How nice. Naughty boy – trying to steal himself away from me. Honestly, you children have no manners. I'm not done playing with him!"

"Get out of him!"

"Would you like me to use this one again?" Unforgivably, Katie had forgotten Jaye was still kneeling there on the floor until just then. "I suppose I could..."

Katie elbowed Leo in the ribs, not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to get his full attention. "Get her. Be gentle. She doesn't know us." It took her gaze away from her brother for a mere heartbeat but it was a heartbeat too long. By the time Leo was sidling up to Jaye, Daniel was standing just inches before her again, and doing that weird not-looking-like-he-was-breathing thing. In a flash, he had the knife at her throat.

"Katie!" Leo gasped. The phone light was shining down the tunnel and only a faint glow showed him Jaye. He stopped where he was, trying frantically to orient himself in the dank tunnel. Who was he meant to help? "Don't hurt her!"

"Hurt my own sister? You think so little of me."

"She is not your sister."

"As good as."

Leo glanced down at the dark figure by his feet. Jaye showed no signs of moving an inch. Leo touched his fingertips to the grainy stone wall to get his bearings, then sprang forward and punched Daniel so that his head snapped to the side and he loosened his hold on Katie to let her wriggle away and move out of grabbing range. "Ten seconds. Talk fast."

"Samael is... Samael's one of the Christian angels of death. The evil one. Takes life indiscriminate an' all that."

"The angel of death," Katie repeated doubtfully. Her scope of weird was suddenly even wider... and it hadn't been exactly narrow before.

" _An_ angel."

"Great. There's an angel of death squatting inside my dead little brother. Why do I think getting it out is going to suck?"

"I thought Samael was a bloke."

"Maybe She can be if She wants. Maybe She just likes being a girl." Or maybe Samael had been a girl all along, even back in the (allegedly-true) Bible times, and had just presented herself in male images. That sounded just as plausible. She could take on any form she wanted provided the occupying soul was weak enough. Katie made a mental note to get a hold of Leo's Bible when this was all over. "Get her out of here!"

"And leave you with this freak?"

"He – She – I'll be fine."

"You always say that," he whispered. Katie had to swallow back a sob. The older boy was right – she said it a lot. But she said a lot of other things too. "And you've never been wrong yet. You're always okay."

"What did She mean – you go way back? She meant before the club, didn't she?"

"Long story. 'Nother time."

Just as Daniel/Samael got some semblance of balance back, Leo bent down and kissed Katie lightly on the lips. It stirred up all kinds of memories she couldn't be dealing with right now. "I prayed for you. And some-one heard me."

Yes. It was me.

"You came back okay. Different, but okay."

Katie smiled, under-armed the fading phone to him and watched from the corner of her eye as he reached for Jaye and pulled her into the shadows. "It's just us now."

"What's the time?" Jack asked for the hundredth time. He'd been asking every half a minute since 10.46 and it was getting irritated.

"Just after eleven."

Definitely, the boy had good reason for wanting to know the time. They were all wary of it. Dina Bayliss, Jack Lawson and Shimma No-last-name knew that every minute Katie stayed away from them was another minute closer they were to not carrying out their plan. Perhaps she should have used the extra time to make more preparations or to give her plan a trial run through. Instead, Dina was just growing more and more sure that everything would go wrong.

Blood magic was nothing she should be messing around in. It wasn't anything she _wanted_ to be involved in. Even the basic level magic Dina was toying with... well, so many things could go wrong. And the biggest problem – that Katie would not be here in time – was in motion.

"What if she doesn't come?"

Dina smiled up at him – a smile she knew looked as fake as it felt – from her seat on top of the bar. She was rolling a half-empty bottle of water between her hands and glancing around the empty club. The fairy lights along each wall were switched on and the aqua lights over the seating areas were all blazing away, making the whole place feel bright and welcoming. It felt just like any other nightclub before it filled up with revellers. If Shimma ever opened the doors up again.

That probably depended on whether tonight worked.

Jack hopped up on the counter beside Dina. "D, are we running out of time? I mean, how long does this all take?"

She didn't know. It might take a few minutes. It might take right until the strike of midnight. They might already be too late. "She'll be here."

"This'll help, right? This setup you got workin' here?" He wasn't sure he really wanted to know the answer in case it was one he didn't like, but it seemed like the right question to ask. He took the water bottle out of her fidgeting hands and held them still. "You'll do good."

"I'll do my best, Jack, but I can't promise anything. If this works for Katie, then it should work for all the others we saw, and that's asking a lot. Of them, of us, of her. If she had been here..."

If Katie had got there on time then there would have been plenty of time to explain what they were going to attempt. If Dina closed her eyes tight enough she could almost see her young friend dressed in the faded jeans and black shirt she wore for work as she passed under the red and black SHIMMA sign over the door; back doing the daily grind like normal. "She doesn't know anything."

"If this didn't have a shot of workin' then you would never try it. I know you better than you think." Dina glanced up at him, then dropped her gaze once more. It would be so easy to get lost in the hope his eyes projected – the blind hope, the stubborn failure-is-not-an-option hope – and she couldn't let herself get caught up in that. Hope led to belief which led to confidence which led to complacency and then mistakes because you trusted you would get everything right without even trying.

"What about you? This will be dangerous for you too. The Keepers... you know they'll take your Shade powers whether this works or not."

Something beeped from the other side of the dancefloor and heavy booted feet clomped across the wood. They both looked up as Shimma approached with a grim expression. He was holding his mobile in one hand and drumming his fingers on the screen with the other. "Still no answer. It just goes straight to answerphone."

"Did you try home? Maybe she fell asleep or something." But Dina had a sinking feeling about that.

"I tried that. She's not there." He sucked in a breath, getting ready to say the next bit. "Nor's boy toy. Leo."

"Boy toy?" Jack twisted to face Shimma. The whole club could have been illuminated by his laser bright eyes. They were flashing with... something. Anger, fear, faith, all three, none of the above. To be truthful to himself, Jack wasn't sure what he was feeling either. But it was intense.

"Yo, not my business, man. I just think they spend a bit too much time together for people who hate each other."

Had something happened between the two of them? It didn't make any difference really – he would forgive Katie the world if she only asked – but she hadn't asked, had she? He had suspected, had always suspected, that something would happen between them. After all, Leo could give his girlfriend something he couldn't: he could be there for her. All the time. In a blur of movement, Jack flashed to the other side of the room and slammed his fist into a blank piece of wall. Black paint cracked and flaked off around his knuckles. "What did you see?"

"Nothing!"

"You don't say things like that if you didn't see nothin'."

"I didn't, Jack, I just – look, they live together. There's bound to be tension."

"Boys, boys! We're getting off topic here." Dina slid off the top of the bar and crossed the room. She put a hand on Shimma's waist. "This is about saving Katie and all those angry ghosts we saw on the motorway. And the longer we stand here getting in touch with defenceless walls, the further away from us they get. So, try her again."

Shimma backed off and flopped down on one of the nearby seats. Dina put herself between the two males –if they wanted to _discuss_ this further then they would have to go through her. Knowing that neither of them would consider hitting a girl didn't make the position any less knee-trembling. "Let me see."

"It'll heal."

But Dina didn't move. Not even when Jack scrunched his eyes up and tried to will the injury away. "It won't go."

"You thought they were going to strip your powers all at once? They probably started early, taking things away a bit a time otherwise it'd hurt too much. I guess," she added, just in case he thought she knew more than he did. "I mean, the Shade thing is basically everything you are now. Gimme." Reluctantly, Jack held out his fist and slowly straightened his fingers. The skin was broken and red rings marked out future bleeding or bruising, but overall the wall had come off worst. When the cuts were safely wrapped under a few tissues, Dina moved to one side and slid down the wall until she was crouching just above the floor. If the boys were going to go at it, let them; she was too tired to care. She had been too worried about Jaye to sleep much last night, and today was an exhausting mix of travel, panic, and messing with things she didn't understand. It didn't help her fragile mental state that the men were looking at each other like they were both plotting something messy – and Dina was caught in the middle.

Nothing was going to happen between Shimma and Jack. Jack was blaming himself for going away. Okay, it wasn't entirely his fault because he was just spending time with the man he thought was his father but... shouldn't he have decided staying by Katie's side was more important? "They've gone off together."

"You don't know that."

"Both of them go missing at the same time. If they're not together, it's one hell of a thingy. Coincidence. An' I bet somethin' happens. If he gets her hurt, I swear..."

"You'd know if she was in trouble. You have a link to her energy – you said so yourself – and if that's still there... she'll come to us." _I hope._

"She _died_ and I didn't know that," Jack pointed out.

Point.

"We have to rely on that connection tonight. We have to rely on a lot of things." She rubbed the heels of her hands into her eyes and made her way over to the pool of blood in the middle of the floor. In over a week it hadn't dried or turned a different colour – it was irregular and glimmering the deepest ruby. Streaks of it smeared the polished wood where Katie had leaked blood from her wounds as she crawled across the floor. "This is the best chance we've got, guys. If we can make this work, if we can restore Katie, then we put all the other souls back too. When she... when we all came here last week, Shimma gave us enchanted talismans that bound us altogether. A whiplash on her arm caught us all. My best guess... we're all linked by blood now."

"Guesses ain't good enough, D."

Guesses were all they had.

"If we pool our resources." Dina took a deep breath and tried to steady her voice. Jack believed she could make this work. _If this didn't have a shot of workin' then you would never try it. I know you better than you think._ He hadn't said as much but she knew Shimma believed she could do it too. The only one with doubts was Dina herself. "If we work together, we can use that link to pull her back. Blood is the strongest element the mortal realm has. And... since I'm the one with the penchant for cutting herself..."

"I don't have her blood in me though."

"You're not mortal. The dead have spirit, a soul to soul bond. And Shimma has power. The spell needs those things. Katie was given a crystal by Mademoiselle Romani and a good psychic always enchants them. We should be able to channel all of that into the crystal."

"And the crystal will use Katie's energy to work on everyone else."

"The research says so."

"I still can't get her," Shimma called over. "Should I leave a message?"

How the hell should she know? And what should he say? Get your arse down here now sounded good on paper but if she _had_ gone off on some mad adventure then it wasn't going to do much good.

"Give her another few minutes and then," _I don't want to but,_ "we'll do it without her."

"Shit. Will it – should it – can we do that?"

Like Dina wasn't asking herself the same question.

Christ! He wasn't supposed to do that!

Katie dodged the fist Daniel aimed at her stomach by dancing back, but didn't see the leg sticking out. The first she knew of it was tumbling to the floor and feeling hard packed earth scraping skin off her hands.

"Daniel, you can't want to hurt me."

"Oh he doesn't. I, however, take what I can get."

"Desperate."

"Hmm. No. Just really pissed off."

She braced a hand on the wall and clawed her way up.

"I really don't want this. If you just gave me what I wanted then how many lives could have been saved? Hundreds? Thousands? More?"

"You wanted me to kill innocent people-"

"Find them, Katie dear. I would have killed them myself. I have morals you know."

Ewwww! How screwed up. "Just so you had a nice clean body to jump into and another soul to condemn."

"Yes," Daniel/Samael grinned. "It seemed fair. But you refused. I give you back your friend and you give me a nice substitute shell. And this body was just wandering around the Dead World, just wasting away. He had no soul to speak of so it was simple enough to use him."

"He has a name. Daniel."

"Uh uh uh." Samael waggled a finger at Katie even as she stood there, eyes to the floor and breathing hard. "Which of us has a knife?"

"I'm wearing silver. The Keepers spelled it." She was lying through her teeth but desperate times and all that. It was just plain silver.

"Possibly. Sadly for you, you won't get close enough to burn me out of your brother. So now, I ask you this... are you willing to kill him just to get to me?" Katie didn't give the question a thought. The speech had distracted Samael with her own self importance for Katie to twist her ring until the tiny cube of zirconium jutted out from her fingers. She rushed at the figure with the hand out, hoping that a good stab with the jewellery might drive the fight back to where-ever Leo had dragged Jaye. If neither of them were in a fit state to help her, there might at least be more room further down the passage.

Daniel – there was something of him still flickering deep down – took half a step back and began to raise his hands in defence. He was trying to turn away. In no way, shape or form did this boy who had never lived want to fight the sister who had only just begun to. He did not want to be hurt by her but he didn't want to be the one to hurt her. Not even if it wasn't really his fault. And then whatever embers had been burning, struggling to survive, snuffed out. Samael was back in control.

That made it easier.

Or it would have done if Samael hadn't caught her by the arm, twirled her into the opposite wall, pinned her there with impossible strength for his size, and driven the pen knife deep into her side. It was not painful. It just felt like a slice through her flesh and then something steel and cold touching everything inside. Samael twisted the knife and listened to Katie gasp in shock.

"Would that make you like me?"

"Bitch!" spat Katie. She felt her knees begin to buckle and pushed off from the wall to sag against Samael. "I'm better than you." The pen knife dug deeper and Katie cried out as she fell to the ground. Her ring twisted again and she touched the beads on her necklace. ANGEL. Maybe she should buy more beads and add OF DEATH to it, because that was her only chance now. If she didn't agree then her friends would be next; then her family and everyone she knew. Just to make her realise the consequences of denying a death dealer.

"Really. You look pretty pathetic to me."

Katie reached up and slapped Daniel's tight face, grinning with a twisted satisfaction when the blow drew a jagged line of blood across his right cheek.

No pan no pain but blood blood inside outside wrong place.

It was silent, where-ever she was. Whatever dark place Katie was floating in, it was quiet and cool and... wrong. As she lay there bleeding, something started pulling on her.

Started dragging her back.

# Chapter fourteen

There was more blood that there should have been.

That was... wrong. It couldn't all be Katie's blood could it? Surely, if it was all coming from the deep stab wound in her side, it would hurt more than a faint but gnawing itch under the skin. Wasn't pain the body's way of letting a person know something was wrong? Well, all this blood was profoundly wrong, and _why can't I feel it?_

Katie opened her eyes and saw her brother standing over her, his shadowed face starkly contrasted in white and red where her slap had connected. Blood had beaded along his cheekbone and was dripping onto her face. It was some dark form of water torture but it wasn't the source of the ruby liquid she was wading through every time she closed her eyes. She scrambled to her feet and shoved a fisted hand into the ragged hole made by the penknife. She could get tetanus or something. Whether or not a Shade could contract diseases like that was the least of her concerns. _Even ghosts can die by mortal means._ When her side twinged, Katie took her hand away and wiped blood down the legs of her jeans. The pulling was getting stronger. Blood was pouring out of her like it was being sucked out but these things always looked worse than they really were. Right? And that little niggling pain was bearable, ignorable even, but there was the pulling... Something was grasping at her insides, every nerve and sensor, insisting that she go with it and let it take her where it wanted. All Katie knew was that she wasn't going anywhere without her friends.

Once up and once the swaying from side to side had stopped, Katie pushed a stunned Samael out of her path and started to half-run, half-limp further down the tunnel. The air before was starting to swim but Katie shook her head and filled her head instead with thoughts that she might have hurt Daniel when she shoved him into the wall. Samael wouldn't care. Samael would send him after his own sister until his body simply stopped moving. Which is what She was doing. Angry footsteps pounded the earth behind her. Far away. Closer. Almost within grabbing distance. So close she could feel the disturbance of air at her back. Katie thumped her left foot down hard and dug deep for an extra burst of speed – she was no sprinter but panic was a great motivator.

It wasn't quite good enough though because Samael was right behind her when she saw Leo holding Jaye's hand a little further down. "MOVE!" Katie yelled and bolted straight past them. It was good that this tunnel was straight with no more forks or turnings because she doubted her brain was functioning well enough to make decisions... but it also meant there was no chance Samael would go in the wrong direction either. If She wasn't left a handy trail of breadcrumbs still dripping under her t-shirt. Katie didn't even look behind her to see if her friends were following. They were. They just were. If they weren't... would Samael even bother incapacitating them? God, she could be leaving her friends to die, just like she had left people on the road near Worth to die. Like she was leaving people all around the world to suffer at the hands of other angry ghosts.

And, through the sudden guilt crashing over her and making her gasp for breath, Katie never slowed her stride. The sounds of a brief scuffle broke out somewhere way back but that either stopped or faded into nothing as the tunnel finally opened into a large space. This was nothing like the dark, cold room they had all run from. This was a cave – a real one with rivers of water seeping up through the ground and stalagmites and stalactites piercing the air. Katie backed onto one shard of rock, put her scarred left hand down on it and let it take her weight.

"Please Jack," she asked of the cool darkness. Not even her new and improved Shade sight could affect a natural dark like this. "I know you guys are waiting for me but I'm not going to make it. If you can hear me..." the plea went out with every last fibre of her soul. "Something's wrong. Somebody has a hold of me. Inside. And I don't know how long I can fight it off." When she pushed herself away from the stalagmite, a deep red handprint smeared itself on the limestone. An eternal reminder of her rebuttal of the angel of death here in this nightmare world. A tall figure raced into the cave and almost slammed into Katie as it screeched to a halt.

"Sheesh! Not big on running for my life, Katie, get a new hobby."

"Leo! Oh my God, I thought Samael..." the rest of the sentence – if there was one – got lost as she reached up and threw her arms around his neck. "Thank God you're alright. If I'd got you hurt.... Where's Jaye?"

Jaye had crawled over to the wall when Leo had let go of her hand and was sitting with her knees clutched to her chest. Somehow, she was still holding Katie's backpack. It was safe over by the wall, away from anything that might be used as a weapon and shadowed by the uneven walls. Almost invisible. Plus there were tiny trickles of water to swish this way and that.

A thin sheen of sweat covered Katie. The strain of the night was telling and if this dark thing inside her tugged one more time... maybe, maybe she should let it take her away from this place and plant her somewhere else. Somewhere she did not have to choose between saving thousands of innocent people from perpetuity of hurting others, and saving her brother only to damn them all to that existence. A place where the decision was more than just her family or her survival instinct. Somewhere none of this would ever have happened and the memory would be a black hole.

"You're hurt."

"Are you ready to fight?"

Leo glanced up at the entry he and Jaye had just barrelled through. "I should tell you. I think I broke his arm."

A flare of anger, bright and hot and everything she needed. "If Samael wants to mess with our family, Her toys _will_ get broken. Now, ready soldier?"

"Always." The pair of them joined hands and held them out in front of them. Just as a shadow raced down the tunnel towards them, Katie felt her legs, suddenly and without warning, start turning to jelly. A third hand slapped itself over both of theirs. Small, pale, Jaye. Katie just had time to see her face smiling defiantly up before Samael burst into their little trio and sliced the stained – _blood, my blood_ – knife down Jaye's pretty visage.

Maybe more blood spilled.

Maybe Jaye turned to spit in his face.

Maybe there was fighting.

Maybe the jagged ground rushed up to meet Katie's face. The cave dissolved into purple-black and silver sparkles before she knew what was happening.

"Can you feel anything?" Jack sat on one of the high barstools, watching Dina as she sat atop the bar peering at an old book. "You're best placed among us to know."

"I can feel something."

"I'll rephrase. What _specifically_ can you feel?"

He looked across at Shimma who just shrugged. "It means exactly."

"Oh. I guess it's like when I pull on her energy. You've done that, right? Only... it's harder." Dina frowned. "I think it's just slippy – you know? Because she's diff'rent. But the link's still there, still strong."

Leo screamed like a girl. He wasn't ashamed to admit it either. Flying through a vacuum of silver and black sparks with one friend who was exhausted, bleeding out and... well, dead - was a damn scary thing to be spending your Thursday night doing. When you added another girl who seemed to have no memory but that of how to be scared of people and a face sliced open like a gruesome clown with exposed flesh instead of rouge, and one of the angels of death he had spent years believing were safely entombed in the pages of his Bible, then it became the journey his entire faith was going to be tested on. Luckily, the vertical descent lasted only a handful of heartbeats.

Four figures slammed down to earth in a heady rush of light, dark, silence, screams, pain and a blissful numbness that lasted a disappointingly short time.

Samael, Katie, Jaye and Leo were thrown apart on impact – each sliding towards a different corner. Leo was the first of the group to scrabble along the ground until he touched the wall and heaved himself up. Looking around, he saw some dirty drinks glasses engraved with SHIMMA by the rim. They were at Shimma's club. He turned just in time to see Dina leap off the bar and power slide along the varnished floor to coo over Jaye. Jack jumped upon hearing the crash of bodies but he was just frozen in his seat, staring into the dancefloor as though he couldn't process what he was seeing. Shaking his head, Leo raced over to Katie and pushed her hair away from her face. She was conscious and awake – that was always a good start. But her shoulders were shaking, her entire body was trembling. For one horrible second he thought she might be crying in that rending, raw way she had just a couple of months before, keeping him awake and wondering if she would ever stop. But no. Impossibly, it seemed, Katie was _laughing_. She could not get enough air in this position to make the explosion of sound that accompanied this strange amusement but oh it was hilarious!

"Hey!"

Katie rolled over onto her back, careful to mind the hole in her side. "Crap. You're still here."

"Love you too. Bitch."

It was half snarky but there was that tiny part of Leo that had fancied this girl from the first day he had seen her, and she had given him some of the best moments of his young life. He had fought for her, he had kissed her, he had caught her when she fell over. Maybe it wasn't quite love, not yet. Maybe it was a soul-deep gratitude for making him finally feel like a person and not the scared kid who was always making mistakes; a profound thankfulness that might twist itself into something else if they let it.

"What's so funny?"

The fact that he had to ask just made it funnier. _Everything_ was worth laughing over. The sheer absurdity of their situation... the series of bizarre events that had led them all here... take your pick.

Then Jack was walking over to them. It seemed that the world had slowed down. Or Leo was just reacting to everything at triple speed because, before he completely knew he was moving, Katie was balancing on her knees and Leo had rucked her top up to expose her toned and tanned stomach. He grabbed for her necklace, untied the knot and slid the beads off, handing them back to Katie. It was a double loop of cord, long enough for him to tie in a tight belt over a few tissues he had found and packed the oozing wound with. "Feel okay?"

"Ready to rock," replied Katie and rose with a grace that didn't even hint at her injured state. If her light shirt hadn't been half dark with blood, nobody else might have been any the wiser. She walked over to a teenage boy on the floor – not Samael in control now, not until he regained consciousness – passing Jack on the way and giving him a look full of heat and passion and promises never to be broken. In just the couple of hours since they had seen each other, lifetimes might have passed. But the sparks between them were more intense than before. "What? You thought I would not make it? You know me better than to think I'd miss – how did we all get back here anyway?"

"Blood magic."

"Means nothing."

"Dina found this thing in her calligraphy book about how blood was used to return people to a particular place. She used the blood here to get you back to us."

"Oh. That makes... no sense at all." However, it did sort of explain why she had been feeling that strange pulling sensation: her blood had been straining on the leash to get back to the rest of it. "And there's a but. I can smell it."

"No, not really. It's just... we're cuttin' it close is all."

"I can feel me regretting this already but – what are we cutting close."

"You know how me and Shimma get stripped of everything supernatural at midnight? Well, this spell... it means blood and spirit and power feeds into you. And from you, it sorta ripples through the world and everyone he," Jack nodded at her unconscious brother, "is influencing will go back to normal."

"Normal. They will be alive?"

Shimma appeared from nowhere and wrapped both teenagers into a hug. That's how it started anyway. Within seconds, Shimma realised he was no longer giving the much-put-upon youngsters what comfort he could, but was losing himself in their life and vitality – knowing that if he had to lose his powers as a Keeper agent, it was for a good reason. He had made a good choice in risking everything on Katie. "If they died naturally, they'll stay dead. But they'll be ghosts of who they were. Go to the End Place."

"And if Samael killed them?" At the confused looks, Katie jerked her head over at the body lying partly in the aqua wash of fairy lights. "My brother – the angel of death. He got possessed. By a girl."

"Samael's a chick!" Daniel, who had never even been born and had no place in the world, had been soul-stolen by a death dealer and _this_ was the bit Shimma had a problem with. It was better than him freaking out.

"They'll stay dead and evil as long as they're linked to him." Katie shrugged her way out of the awkward group hug and twisted around until she was facing the bar. The book Dina must have been using was lying open by the till. Katie couldn't make the words out in their fancy writing. But that wasn't the important bit, was it? These were just words. The bit that mattered was in the middle of the floor, still glittering and wet, showing floor where she, Jaye and Leo had tracked through it. Blood. Everything was blood. It had brought them all back here when she had thought they might die in the cave. It bound them all together. Blood... spirit... power. The mortal... the eternal... the infinite. And if it could hold them all together, maybe it could break them apart too...

"Katie, don't get too close!" Dina warned from her crouch next to Jaye. "You saw what happened before."

It was okay. Katie felt it. It would be okay.

Dina was sitting next to Jaye and using bar napkins to wipe the blood off Jaye's face, hardly even noticing the cut she had re-opened on her own right arm. "Sweetheart," she crooned and dabbed at a mix of blood and tears. Jaye was crying because this face, this face was so familiar somehow but she _couldn't remember._ "Jaye, I know it hurts but you can stop it hurting. Just... just turn it off."

"She can't. Samael took away her memories so there was room for Her. She doesn't remember how much things hurt and that... that's scary."

"How do we get her memory back?"

"It's still in there," Shimma answered, glancing at Katie for a nod. "They've been pushed to the side. As soon as the link to Samael is broken, it'll all be okay."

"Oh God, oh God, oh God." Dina hugged her knees to her chest, letting the tissue fall from her hand for Leo to pick up and take over attending to Jaye, repeating the words over and over.

The lights over the seating area dimmed, making them all jump.

"What the hell?"

"That's never a good thing."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Speaking from every horror film I've ever seen. Lights flicker – bad shit happens."

"Or some-one dies."

Shimma twisted, his silvery hair glinting like it was streaked with turquoise-brushed steel. "That comes under the bad shit header."

"Positive thinking. I like it."

Katie stood over her brother. Daniel was just a kid, an innocent boy who never was, commandeered body and soul by Samael to seek the cruellest revenge on Katie for not giving in and providing her vessel after guiltless vessel. People she knew, people she saw in the halls at college, even complete strangers. And Samael had known from the beginning that Katie wouldn't be able to do it so She had returned inside her dead brother, figuring (correctly) that if she would not sacrifice an unknown person then she wouldn't even consider hurting her family. Which left her with two choices.

Stand idly by and let this happen. No-one would die by Katie's own hand but... she could have stopped it, _controlled it_ , so it was her fault really.

Or she could run to the fire exit, plead with the other spirits to open the dimensional doorway and spend the rest of forever in the Dead World. Which was where she belonged.

"Jaye. Bitch, I'm tryin' a help you! Co-operate."

Katie grinned. Her friends. Her _family._ Arguing, suffering, hurt, but here. Tears sprang from nowhere and began coursing down her face. "You stabbed me, Daniel. You stabbed me and I couldn't even fade out because _I don't know how to_. And you didn't even care if it killed me or not."

"That wasn't him, Lady Katie."

She held up her hand to silence Jack. "All of this was because I wouldn't be your flunky and get you new bodies every time you burn another one out.. I can't believe you'd turn half the world so evil for something so petty. Actually, you know, I can believe it. I just didn't think you would take it this far. And I have to ask myself... why me? Why am I so important to your plan for world domination? And why would you suddenly want to hurt me, little brother?"

Daniel groaned and flipped on to his back. For now, he was a pale and tired boy, trying to smile up at the sister he had longed to meet for so very long. "Remember me." The words were croaky but they were there. And they sounded like goodbye.

Her phone skidded across the floor. When it bounced off her foot, Katie picked it up and stared blankly at it. "Time." The screen had been scrolled across to show a full-screen digital clock. 11:53. Nearly midnight.

She dropped it on the floor, vaguely hearing it clatter to the floor, not even caring if it broke. If there were only five minutes until midnight, she wanted to spend every second of them with her boyfriend. When he became human, he might not be Jack any more. He would be different. He might not love her any more.

"Why would I hurt you? Now, that's a really good question. Well, partly it's because I could and... oh, you didn't want the truth?"

"I sever the link to you – I sever the link to everyone you hurt."

Samael let the fresh shadows drop and the sleeping child was the last thing anyone saw before the lights went out. There was a moment of buzzing confusion during which Shimma shouted "CATCH!" and something silver tracked a bright spiral through the darkness. Katie grabbed the front of the black top Daniel was wearing – no cut or fabric she knew but something that seemed to be moulded into his skin. _Maybe I am holding a shadow..._ And dragged him over to the pool of her blood a few feet away. It called to Katie so strongly that she knew exactly where to go. She snatched the object Shimma had thrown out of the air as it neared her without even looking. Running on instinct. She didn't miss a beat. She dropped Samael/Daniel to the ground, crouched down and felt the object she had in her hand. As she had thought, it was a weapon. A dagger of sorts. It had some pattern of ridges on the handle and a slightly curved thin blade. And it was silver. From the tingle it gave off it had been bespelled by the Keepers. The noise of shock in the room quieted and all Katie could hear was the thundering of her own heart. Not even thoughts had any coherency. Before she could allow her predicted regret to change her mind, Katie put the blade to skin and dragged it to the side.

No more angel of death to haunt her dreams.

No more would die because Katie was too weak to act.

No more connection to Samael.

She _felt_ that connection snap. It was something like the snapping of a pencil, sudden and sharp, and it wasn't like it at all. How could that be? _Don't know. Don't care._ It was just gone in a moment and that, along with having another Keeper fuelled vision of souls all over the world either disappearing or fading back into muddy silver and then dulling into the swirl of earth tones of the world, was the only important thing. Katie couldn't feel anything. Nothing else but this little bubble of her and her brother existed. Daniel found her fingers, slick with sweat and blood, Then even that vanished. There was numbness. The night was dark and still and silent for just a few hours more. Tomorrow, life would begin again; life without pain or pleasure. Life without Samael. Life without danger.

The light came back on, blinding everyone for a moment. There was no more blood. There were no more tears.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Going to her own funeral was the best decision she had made in a long time.

Katie leaned across and kissed Jack on the cheek. "I love you." She felt his smile against her skin and longed to stay in the comfortable body heat he now radiated. The shock of being merely human – mortal – would start pressing down on him eventually. It was so strange to be able to hold him and feel him warm and solid beside her instead of the cool, hollow feeling of the previous few months. He didn't smell like dirt and death anymore; just of leather and...Jack. Jack had a scent all his own. For two nights, Katie had gone to bed knowing he was at her side (well, one night squashed into her tiny bed and the other on the settee, at Lainy's insistence) and woken up when he brought her hot chocolate to fight the morning chill. But his strong arms around her did more to warm Katie than any hot drink. And then nightclothes started flying in all directions. He seemed to be adjusting quite well for the time being.

"No changin' the subject, girlie."

"Girlie?"

"Off the list. But I will find a pet name you like."

"Don't doubt it."

"The question?"

"Yes, I'm glad I came. I needed to. This chapter of my life is finished. My family are here but... it's not home any more." They were sitting on a bench by one of the raised flower beds outside the funeral home. Her parents had opted for a dignified ceremony to leave from here. Her white coffin had been slid into a hearse done up to look like a stretch limo, and it and everyone else were now at some church Katie hadn't got the guts to follow them to. Yet. "Do you regret it?"

Jack frowned.

"I mean everything you gave up for me?"

Whatever answer was going to spill forth was silenced when Katie's phone buzzed. An answer phone message. Funny – it hadn't rung or anything. She pressed a few buttons and listened to the start of the message whilst her boyfriend thought about his answer. It was not as cut and dried as he had first thought. Being a Shade who was rooted in the Dead World, who had to literally suck a little slice of like out somebody to take form in this dimension... Whilst it might have been a crappy existence, it was the only one he really knew. He had survived it for almost ten times as long as his first shot at mortal life. No more avoiding trivial things like getting wet, aging, erasing wounds with a thought. Absently, he touched the bullet scar dead centre of his forehead.

"I miss what I was. I'm not gonna lie," he told Katie when she took the phone away from her ear. "But it was worth it to do this whenever we want." He bent his necked and kissed her properly, stroking calloused fingers down her cheek and then down her coat sleeve until he was holding her hand – the left one, the one covered in burns and scars, and that was perfect. They were battle scars. She'd been to hell and come back. "And no-one gets hurt. Not again."

"My family. Daniel."

"What do you want to do? We can't make them forget."

"I'll think about it when we get home. We need to go to church. I want you to meet my sister. She's the only one outside Northwood who knows I'm still here."

"If she's like you, I'll love her like my own."

"Did you have one? Any siblings at all?"

"Not that I knew of." He glanced down at their clasped hands and then back up at her. Before now, this would have been one of those moments when shadows flitted behind his eyes as questions about his history plagued him, but they were clear now. Those green pools held nothing more than honesty. No secrets between them. "I guess, at least, I never had any family to lose."

"Lucky you."

"What happened in the dark?"

Katie had her own shadows now. _I slit my kid brother's throat._ It sounded bad in her head and could only imagine that it would sound worse aloud. She was a murderer. She had killed Henry Lawson. This was not the same – it wasn't killing an evil, hateful, supernatural man who had no place in this world. It was a cold-blooded slaughter and no matter how often she told herself that Samael had been irreparably damaged in the process it never justified committing fratricide. "He – She – was there one minute and then the lights came up and... wasn't. But I don't think either of them are coming back. Ever."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Jack hadn't quite got the knack of complex emotions yet so he didn't know why he felt like he had to apologise – he didn't know a lot of things he used to – but he just knew it was the right thing to say. "I know it must hurt to know you'll never see him again."

"Daniel wasn't really my family. I mean, I never knew him. Never thought about him until I died. And then he always had _Her_ in him. Where-ever he is now, it's better than that."

By the time the couple got home to the old Newton Street, preparations for the Halloween party were in full swing. No-one had the time or the energy to bother with too many decorations or costumes the way Adam said they usually did. Jack kissed Katie one last time and vanished into kitchen to help Adam wrestle food and drink out of the bottom cupboard while she went into the living room to help Lainy throw a few orange, purple and black streamers around. Dina was already in there lending a hand.

"I'm back."

"Oh, hey Katie."

Lainy jumped and nearly fell off the chair she was standing on.

"Whoa. No falling over." Dina put a hand on Lainy's lower back to steady her. "It's totes against the rules."

"There are rules? A fall won't hurt her."

"She can't get hurt but-" Lainy shot Dina her most withering _shut the hell up_ look. She held up her hands in mock defence. "Hey, I do _not_ want to invoke the wrath of Adam."

"It's okay sweetie," Lainy said finally, stepping down and handing Katie some coloured strips of crepe paper to braid. "I just haven't got used to having you back around the house."

"I never said I was easy to get rid of."

"Glad of it too. We need you around here."

"To cook?"

"You got it. The best we can manage is ordering a takeaway or nuking a pizza."

"How's your side?"

"Better," Katie lied. It was healing the old fashioned way – slow and painful. However hard she concentrated, she couldn't make it go away like Jaye had healed her face. It hadn't required medical attention, deep as it was, and the bleeding had stopped by the time midnight had struck. "Stab wounds must take a while to work out."

"No more than anything else. You probably just need practise," Lainy assured her. "We can work on it."

"D. Any drawing pins? I'll hang this above the door."

She fished a couple out of the box. "I'll go get the step ladder."

Dina left and, a moment later, was deep in conversation with the boys. Katie slid the pins into place, staring up at the door frame where she wanted it to go. She closed her eyes, visualising facing the flaking door frame and pushing the sharp fasteners into the wood so hard they left little imprints in her thumbs. There was a tiny jarring sensation in her knees and, when she opened her eyes to ask if Lainy had felt it too, she found the woman looking at her like she was sprouting a tail.

"Guys! Get in here!"

Adam and Dina ran in. "You okay, baby?" Lainy just pointed up at the door frame. He then yelled for the rest of the household to come in. While they were waiting, Katie traced the line up to the door frame. The crepe plait was hanging from end to end.

"She's still glowing," Lainy told Jack when he entered.

"What?" Katie stepped back and flopped down on the settee. "How did that get up there?"

"You... you put it there. I watched you just start glowing then rise through the air and stick it up."

"And you let me? I can fucking fly! And you didn't think that was wrong?"

"Be fair, Katie." Adam slid an arm around his fiancée, but he didn't take his eyes off the magically pinned decoration. "This is hardly normal behaviour."

Jack edged around and sat himself next to her. "Don't worry, Lady Katie. We'll figure this out. Now, go get your party clothes on. I wan' you prettier than ever. No more tears."

About the author

Wendy Maddocks lives in Birmingham, England, with her slightly crazy family. She blames them for her twisted imagination. Sanity is not her friend. She enjoys reading and studying, working out and eating cake, which makes her fat and in need of yet another gym session. (Yes, I'm a masochist!) She also has a fear thing about sheep. After graduating from university, Wendy began publishing her own work online and is always working on new writing projects. What will happen when she runs out of ideas?

No, let's not wonder that.

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