Hey Challenge fans, we're sure most of you
saw our original challenge episode where we
tried to come up with ways of spending $1
billion dollars in real life in just one day.
Well, today we're putting it up to your favorite
lab rat and challenging him to find realistic
ways of spending $1 billion in 24 hours- but
because it's Covid quarantine season, he can't
leave the house!
So, can you really spend a cool $1 billion
online in 24 hours?
Let's find out!
Alright, I bet all of you out there in youtubeland
are about as sick and tired of being stuck
at home as I am.
Well, other than going stir crazy I happened
to be a statistic and actually got infected,
but thankfully it was mild and cleared up
in a few weeks.
Turns out the girlfriend is one of the lucky
ones, and was asymptomatic, but just in case
we made sure to bunker up at our place like
it was a zombie apocalypse survival challenge.
I don't know which of the two- the girlfriend
or our dog- has suffered the worst from this
lockdown.
She loves to be active, and this lockdown
has her going absolutely stir crazy.
Our poor dog is used to going to agility training
and to the dog park to hang out with other
pups, and the best we've been able to do with
him is play fetch in the house.
The other day I caught both of them staring
out the window and I swear they had tears
in their eyes.
You probably noticed we've been on a challenge
break given the circumstances and my health,
so it's kind of nice to actually be able to
do another challenge- even if it's just online.
Spend a billion dollars over the internet,
without ever leaving home.
That's a lot of money, and the rules of the
challenge are going to make it rather difficult.
First, there's no just giving it away to charity,
I have to find real things to spend the money
on.
Second, the entire purchasing process has
to be done electronically.
The buying and receipt process of whatever
I would buy all has to be possible remotely,
never requiring a face-to-face meeting or
exchange.
So, let's start.
Ok, right off the bat I thought about real
estate, because it's the most expensive thing
you can possibly buy and I need to eat up
this massive budget as quickly as I can.
After all, I need to actually be able to buy
everything I plan on acquiring all online,
far more difficult than in person.
Also, there's a sweet bonus from The Infographics
Show on the line for me if I can hit the billion
dollar mark in a realistic way- yep, the show's
officially turning these challenges into a
messed up game show.
So I turned to Dubai, knowing that they have
private islands for sale there and private
islands in one of the world's most expensive
places can't be cheap.
I had to make sure that I could actually complete
a transaction fully remotely, so I did what
any normal person would do- I reached out
to them directly and pretended I wanted to
buy an island.
Turns out, it's pretty damn easy.
I got a hold of the real estate agency by
email first, and they responded very quickly
and set up a time to call.
(Use photo 1 in attachments to card)
Now I couldn't just pretend to be the buyer
directly, because no insanely rich person
handles such mundane details as buying islands
themselves.
So I had the girlfriend pretend to be my assistant,
which worked really well because she's a very
gifted actress.
Within two hours and after just three phone
calls back and forth between us and the real
estate office in Dubai, we had an island worth
$455 million lined up and ready for purchase.
Now the payment process would take a few days
because as we were told, it would have to
be done via bank wire transfer and officials
in both the US and Dubai would have to inspect
it.
You can't just move around such massive quantities
of money without the government taking a peek
to make sure everything's legit.
Then there would have to be reams of paperwork
to be signed, and some government forms from
Dubai- but all of it I was assured could be
done quickly and completely over the internet,
by phone, or if need be- by fax.
Boom, just like that I owned an island.
Well, I mean not really, but either way almost
halfway through this challenge with just one
purchase.
$545 million to go.
I headed over to Ebay because I figured that
place was full of enough crap that there were
bound to be plenty of things to help me reach
my billion dollar budget.
I was definitely not disappointed.
I went to automobiles first, figuring that
cars would probably be the most expensive
things there.
The clock was winding down, so I had to spend
my money economically, achieving a very high
dollar to hours ratio, so I ignored anything
under a million, and honestly, the cars section
kind of disappointed me.
Sure, there were Bugattis and McLarens P1s
for sale, but even after buying enough cars
for myself and all my extended family and
exhausting every single car over a million
that I could find, it all still only came
up to $43 million.
Still, that's a total of $498 million, and
only $502 million left to go.
I turned to collectibles and I found some
real gems there, though nothing quite as pricey
as I imagined.
Still, I snagged a sweet original negative
from the Hiroshima atomic bombing for 2 million,
and I have to admit it was fascinating to
make that find.
(use photo labeled 2)
I also found a WWII Japanese officer's sword
and a top secret British map of the front
lines, both for over a million.
What really blew my mind though was a piece
of a letter written by the Prophet Muhammad,
going for $1.2 million.
(use photo 3).
I wondered about the authenticity but it came
with a certificate of authenticity and the
seller had over 98% positive feedback- so,
you know, 'probably' legit.
Alright, I racked up a total bill of $38 million
in collectible photographs, maps, and other
similar antiques- though it sort of became
a bit of rabbit hole for me and I spend a
good hour and a half looking through all the
postings...
most of that time was while the girlfriend
was on the phone with real estate agents in
Dubai of course.
Still, it wasn't a very efficient use of my
time, I wasn't spending enough money per hour
and needed to step it up a notch.
$536 million spent, $464 million to go.
I turned to antiques now, and was blown away
by a 21 million dollar cabinet.
Yeah, you heard that right, a cabinet worth
21 million... at least to someone anyways.
(use photo 4).
Apparently the cabinet was gifted by Queen
Victoria to various British nobles, and you
know those Brits- despite living in a democracy
they are confusingly still crazy about royals.
Like a hundred years ago these guys were literally
stomping on peasant's necks, and today they're
getting turned into celebrities...
I just don't understand.
Anyways, I thought it was funny when I found
a life-sized carving of Sitting Bull's head
for sale for 8.5 million (use photo 5).
It was attributed to an early American folk
artist, but the seller admits that it hadn't
been authenticated.
That takes some balls to sell an item you
haven't even authenticated yet and ask for
$8.5 million, so I put it on the list.
Top it all off with some random ancient chinese
porcelain, more British royal memorabilia,
and other odds and ends and my antique shopping
spree came out to a cool $74 million, putting
a serious dent in my budget and making for
a very efficient millions-per-hour spending
rate.
New total: $610 million, $390 to go.
Now, I figured art was a sure-fire way to
spend some big bucks, and let me tell you
I wasn't disappointed here.
I found some jackson pollock original paintings
all for at least $10 million, along with two
paintings of... well, streaks, also going
for $10 million.
(use photo 6).
Listen, I get it, I'm an artist myself, but
if you're spending $10 million for a streak
of paint on white canvas... you really need
to check yourself before you rickety-wreck
yourself, because you just got got.
Still, it was pricey, so into the shopping
bag it went.
All in all after spending obscene amounts
on modern art, my bill came to $98 million.
Interestingly though I didn't find any paintings
over 10 million, making me wonder if there's
some limit Ebay is willing to let dumb people
spend on their site.
New total: $708 million, with $292 to go.
By now I'd spent six hours shopping, and it
was time for lunch so I ordered Grubhub sushi
for the girlfriend and I.
Total: $58.30, but I picked up that tab myself.
This was going much better than I had hoped
for to be honest, mostly because as I mentioned-
dumb people are paying obscene amounts of
money for dumb art.
I figured that after all this coronavirus
lockdown crap, me and the girlfriend deserved
a vacation, so I looked for ways to finance
a getaway with our remaining millions.
I found what's billed as the world's most
expensive hotel room, which is on a private
submarine down in the Caribbean called The
Lover's Deep.
Price tag: $292,000 a night, so with air fare
and a five night get away, that came out to
$1.5 million.
I threw in some fun activities like swimming
with sharks, luxury yacht rentals- plus crew
of course- and a few other odds and ends and
managed to spend $3.2 million for a five day
trip.
Thing is, this was an incredibly inefficient
use of my time, because it took almost two
hours to even find the contact info for The
Lovers Deep, because as I found out- at least
as of this writing- it's not a thing you can
just google.
I had to have the girlfriend call down to
several places at St. Lucia itself to find
anyone who had contact info for the company
that rents out the submarine, once again with
her posing as my very sexy personal assistant.
Turns out this sub is kind of one of those
'unique' experiences that only the ultra wealthy
are supposed to know about, and I feel like
if I include the contact info in this video
someone might come after me.
Ok, new total: $711.2 million.
Definitely not a good use of my time.
Alright, regular business hours for American
businesses were coming to a close soon, so
I pulled out all the stops for this next expense.
I headed over to Space Adventures' website
and got a public relations phone number to
call.
After a half hour of back and forths, they
quoted me that for an upcoming circumlunar
mission, the cost would be $117 million per
person.
The trip is supposed to span less than a week,
and consists of two passengers with one professional
Russian Cosmonaut.
Your spacecraft will swing around the far
side of the moon, without entering into orbit,
and return to earth, bringing you as low as
100 meters from the lunar surface.
Now, of all the things I spent fake money
on, this was without a doubt the thing that
had me most excited.
I love space.
Let me rephrase that, I (bleep) love space,
and the thought of getting within 100 meters
of the moon made me so excited that I got
sad when I realized I wouldn't actually be
going.
Also, I would never get the opportunity to
make the ultimate terrible joke, by getting
into space with the girlfriend, turning to
her, and saying, “You know, I think you're
out of this world.”
So two dreams crushed in one blow, what a
cruel life.
Still, my new total was $945.2 million, with
$54.8 to go- except not, because Space Adventures
also quoted a single seat to the ISS for $55
million!
And just like that, boom, billion dollars
spent.
Sure I went over budget, but I guess I could
just cut back on some of the dumb art I bought,
and yeah, it makes me a little sad that I'd
have to leave the girlfriend behind while
I went to the ISS, but as she put it- “Going
to the ISS seems dumb, I bet it smells up
there.
But the moon is romantic!”
Mission accomplished, and it only took less
than twelve hours- granted I couldn't have
done it without the girlfriend pretending
to be my personal assistant to various real
estate and luxury resort offices, so half
the credit goes to her.
Now payment for some of these things would
take a few days to sort out, but I was assured
that none of it would need to be done in person,
and the bank could handle all wire transfers
electronically.
So, if you've ever wondered if you could really
spend a billion dollars online in one day-
the answer is yes.
Got challenge fever and can't wait for new
ones to start again?
Check out the classic, Eating Only What I
Catch For 72 Hours.
Or watch this other video instead!
