[ Cheers and applause ]
♪ Here we go ♪
Joel, your bonus game
is called Speed Swipe Right.
A member of our staff
has a huge crush on you
and won't
shut up about it.
Oh, my God.
[ Laughter ]
We are going to set you up
on a speed date
with three of our nubile
gay staff members,
and you must guess which one
is carrying a torch for you.
But you will have
only 10 seconds with each
before your potential suitors
are buzzed away.
You will be judged on
the following three factors --
maintained eye contact,
correct identification
of your suitor,
and quality
of flirty voice.
[ Laughs ]
Joel,
are you ready to play?
Yeah, I mean,
this feels less like a game
and more like a sleep-over
that you invited me to
and one of them's
hiding under the bed
to hear what I have to say
about them.
That is the goal with "Talk Show
the Game Show" every episode.
[ Laughs ]
May I have 45 seconds
on the clock, please?
Let's begin.
Okay.
First up is Sam.
Okay,
Bachelor Number Sam,
what are you looking for
in a partner?
I'm looking for someone
that's honest and, you know --
[ Buzzer ]
I'm sorry, that's time.
That's time.
Next up is Daniel.
Um, Dan--
Bachelor Number Daniel,
oil-based
or water-based solu?
It depends on
what date we're --
[ Buzzer ]
I'm sorry,
that's time.
That's time.
Next up is Jack.
Uh, Bachelor Number Jack,
if we were to Netflix and chill,
what Netflix show
would we binge?
Oh, I'm really into
"Mindhun"--
[ Buzzer ]
I'm sorry,
that's time.
Joel, it is now
the moment of truth.
Hand this rose
to the suitor
you think has
the biggest crush on you.
If you guess correctly,
you will win up to 10 points
and this $10 gift card
to a local frozen-yogurt store,
where you two can see
where your relationship goes.
Ooh, okay.
Joel?
I have to say, first off,
that you're all beautiful.
I could see myself having sex
with any one of you.
Maybe I have.
I don't know,
you know?
You look like you could be
a contestant on "The Voice."
You look like you should be
on the cover of a book.
And you look like
you don't have a job,
but I know you do.
I guess
I'm gonna have to go with
the face
that I'd most like to sit on,
and it's the one
with the accoutrements,
the moustache.
Jack --
Bachelor Number Jack.
Thank you.
That is correct!
Oh, my God!
Congratulations!
Nice to meet you!
Thank you!
Joel and Jack, please limit
yourselves to three toppings.
I am lactose, though,
so...
Oh, me, too.
Oh, great!
Joel, how do you think
that went?
I think
it went great.
I'm really happy
with this,
and I can't wait to invite you
all to the wedding.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Let's go back to the desk
while Casey gives you a score.
Bye!
Jack,
get back to work!
