 
Always You, Only You

Shorts by Suilan Lee

Published by Suilan Lee

Copyright © 2018, Suilan Lee

Cover art by Liang Woo

License Notes

Thank you for downloading this free e-book. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author and may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed for any commercial or non-commercial use without permission from the author. Quotes used in reviews are the exception. No alteration of content is allowed. If you enjoyed this book, then encourage your friends to download their own free copy. Your support and respect for the property of this author is appreciated. This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author's imagination and used fictitiously.

Warning: This eBook contains scenes with adult language, and explicit sex scenes between adult males. It is intended for mature audiences only. If you are offended by such content, please remove this eBook from your files.

###

"I knew the first time we met,

You'd be kinda hard to forget..."

Love Starts

Thinking back now, that man's effect on a dry heart that had never known love must have started at the beginning.

His deep voice...his dark gaze...Miki couldn't stop the smile at the thought of that stupid list of chores stuck on the fridge. Goodness, even the man's grouchy attitude must have had an effect on his poor untouched heart. He doubted he ever had a chance to escape this complete entanglement.

Sitting in an airport at six in the morning, after having not slept, he stared at his cell phone, hoping...

Thirty minutes passed, hope turning to ice. The announcement for his flight at last call, he wondered if this was his fate...their fate. Standing up, Miki picked up his book bag, his luggage already checked in, he clutched his passport and ticket tight. Helpless as he looked around the airport hoping for a glimpse of dark longish shaggy hair.

"Calling for Mr. Hayashi Miki, flight JAL 654, please report to Gate..."

Miki closed his eyes. He couldn't miss his flight. He gripped his passport tight, the hope he'd grown in the past few hours squashed.

Numb, he headed to his designated boarding gate on auto. He was leaving Seoul, yet every cell in his body told him to stay. In the span of eight months, this place had become home. A home he dared want, but as that man hadn't come to the airport, it seemed his wants were simply hopes.

Reaching the boarding gates, Miki handed over his plane ticket, allowing the flight attendant to lead him to his seat. Once settled by the window, he wore his seatbelt and as the belt clicked into place, his gaze fell on the bracelet on his left wrist.

Three dark leather strips knitted and held together with a jade bead. He blinked back sudden tears and glanced out the window into the rising morning.

Time moved fast, one blink and it felt like yesterday he'd arrived in this same airport after turning his parents' lives upside down.

Those days, he'd only wanted to live, to experience a colorful life, see what lay beyond the normal.

Little had he known eight months later he'd be here afraid, again...

~~~~~

Part 1 – The Rebellion that brought him to another world

The fear that boredom might really kill him prompted his decision to enroll into an exchange program during his third year of university. His parents called him crazy for doing something so adventurous when he should be concentrating on his studies.

His parents were good people. They sincerely cared for his well-being and wanted him to succeed and make something of himself. This was how he had chosen to do economics at Tokyo University in the first place. His father thought it a good faculty, a stable career, one he could rely on for generations. People used money, needed it in everything they did, worst-case scenario, Miki could work at a bank. A reasonable occupation, so, he dove into the faculty with blind dedication.

Through this dedication to please his parents and create a stable future, in his third year when his courses started getting serious, fear struck Miki one morning.

His four roommates were adventurous souls, doing strange faculties like art, nursing, one was a ballerina, and the last a chef. Compared to their creative lives, he felt dull and removed from life. His world black and white, so far removed from their colorful existence, that fear grew so deep, so forceful and hard, it drove him into a severe panic attack.

The panic attack passed, but what had brought it on did not disappear. The sense that he hadn't yet started to live set him on a path to escape the inevitable future he was creating. And of course, that gave him the idea to leave the country.

His roommates helped him enroll into the Seoul National University Exchange Program.

Not to boast, but his grades were excellent. He was a child with parents who forever urged, threatened, forced and begged him to study hard. Listening to this form of parenting, his brain found the easiest way was to give in and do the studying.

He got very good at retaining information and by the end of Junior High School, he was the top student in the district. The studying and reading became part of him, leading to excellent grades, to the point of excelling in foreign languages like English, Korean and Chinese. Most of his classmates were amazed and at the same time annoyed with his overachiever status.

Thinking about it now, he probably should have ditched a few hours of reading to chase a football on the field, but that was like begging spilt water to return back to a tray.

Back to the exchange program, his entry into SNU was a breeze. His Korean judged good enough to sit through a class, he was accepted into the Seoul Business School (of course some sense remained). He still needed to graduate at the end of this insane detour. His acceptance completed, he was now set to take his first step into the first adventurous decision he had ever made.

His parents' reaction to this rebellious idea?

Complete and utter panic.

They couldn't understand why he would decide on an exchange so close to his last year in college. Why now when he was about to start the critical third year of college.

Was he going crazy?

His mother even suggested taking him to the hospital for a checkup. She was sure he was ill, he'd fallen in the laundry room a few months before helping her move the washing machine. Clearly, he hit his head too hard. His brain was lose and needed the expert opinion of a doctor to screw it back in place.

She would not watch her son make such a stupid mistake.

Hah! As though he was the only son in the house who needed a brain doctor.

Yes, one would think, with the amount of coddling that had gone into him, he was an only child. No, he wasn't an only child. His family was made up of five strange souls. His father and mother, who raised their eldest daughter Mika, followed by a second-born son, Nobu, then him, Miki, the last born.

Mika was a free spirit. She wasn't much for rules and had gone off and married her high school sweetheart, forever breaking their mother's heart. Nobu lived at home. Their neighbors called him a troublemaker because he hated studying. To escape his parents' demands to read in senior high school, Nobu staged a coup by burning his books in the front yard. Adding in his school uniform for good measure when his mother came to beg him to stop the madness. What a sensation that had been in their conservative neighborhood.

After that debacle, his parents turned their hopes and dreams to their last-born son.

Miki had no hope of escaping their constant worry. Imagine the weight of two people's hopes, already sorely disappointed by two of their children. It was not easy to spit in their faces and do what he wanted. He was not strong enough to disappoint their hopes, so he listened, obeyed and learned, towed the line...until this exchange program.

His first rebellious act in his entire lifetime.

He, the third son of the Hayashi household, wanted to board a plane and fly out of his birth country. He would be going to another country that spoke an entirely different language, with different values, and he would be alone.

The sky was falling for his parents.

The argument lasted a month.

Frightening, as he needed their financial support to pay for the room he had found in Seoul.

Now, judging from the advice he got from his roommates, and the very well-informed people at the international programs office, finding an affordable apartment in Seoul was not easy.

Through his enterprising roommate, Hiroyuki the chef to-be, who seemed to have connections even on the planet Mars, Miki managed to find an apartment with three-bedrooms, shared with a fourth-year student going to SNU and his roommate. Not only had he hit the jackpot, this jackpot would be lost if he didn't pay his deposit on time.

Of course in the face of the world war III in the Hayashi household, Miki wished he could pay for the apartment. But...he didn't have the cash. The amount was too high for his savings, and he needed to consider his living expenses.

In their war to convince him not to go, his parents had taken to walking away when he started the topic of living in Seoul. Quite an experience especially for one who had always been the good son and received their undivided attention no matter his problem.

The pain of watching his father walk away from him, then his mother, Miki couldn't quite define it right. It left him speechless.

When the deadline for paying his apartment was two days away, help came in the form of his big brother, Nobu.

His mother was making dinner in the kitchen. Nobu sat at the kitchen table counting money no one knew how he acquired. His big brother remained a very filial son. He always brought his contribution to the household expenses to his mother. Their mother had once confessed that she was terrified of asking where the money came from. She took the money, and always placed it in a savings account she created for his brother. Her love for her children so clear, even though his big brother's free will terrified her.

Walking into this scene, determined to convince her to share that love with him, otherwise he was going to also find out what it felt like to burn books in the front yard, Miki was surprised when his brother spoke.

"Kaa-chan, would you rather watch Miki-kun wear that expression all his life? If you do, he'll probably turn out worse than me with his temperament. Or you let him go and maybe, he might come back and become the prime minister. He could do it, you know? Run for state office and win."

Miki stared at his brother in shock.

Now, this might surprise people, but Nobu was this big brother person who lived in the room next to his, but led a mysterious life.

In high school, Miki had spent too much time reading and going to cram school to ever have time to hang with his older brother. Now, Miki was in university and had moved into an apartment closer to campus for convenience. Whenever he came back home to visit on weekends, his older brother was never home.

They met on days like this, when his brother was home giving money to their mother. For his brother to now speak for him, that was....it was...Miki couldn't stop smiling.

His mother stared at Nobu too. Her shock apparent. She turned off the cooker she was using and looked at Miki.

Miki's smile slipped, stunned by the unreadable expression on her face.

She wiped her hands on her apron and left the kitchen in quick strides.

Miki worried.

She hadn't spoken much to him since his big announcement, but this...

Before a full-blown panic could start, his mother returned holding a small passbook. She handed it to him without a word and returned to the cooker.

Confused, Miki opened the little book and stood frozen in the middle of his parents' kitchen. The little book was a bankbook. The account was under his name, and the amount on the balance available column was more than enough to help him survive in a foreign country, living a modest life of course, for at least six months. It would also help him pay for his apartment on time.

Tears filled his eyes, and he glanced up when a drop hit the pristine page. His mother was also crying. Her shoulders trembling as she stirred soup. Miki wanted to go hug her, but then Nobu shook his head, stopping him. Their mother needed time. This was not easy for her.

So, Miki gave her a low bow of respect, making his tears fall faster and to the floor. He would come back later when she was in a better mood, he decided. He straightened up, gave his big brother a bright smile, then ran out of the house, his grip on the bankbook tight.

His parents' money made all other details possible. He bought a perfect suitcase, and of course made the payment to hold his rented room with his new roommates. Park Shin was the primary name on the lease. This was all handled through a lawyer, with no further input from Park Shin other than, 'tell the new tenant he will have to do his own cooking.'

Not a problem, Miki thought.

Living at home, enduring heavy study sessions, he had sometimes ended up in the kitchen helping his mother when he was taking a break. She had taught him to cook, making sure he could at least fend for himself if she wasn't home. He was her last born after all. The one she had dedicated all her time, love and effort on.

No wonder his decision to leave confused her.

On the day of his departure, Miki spent the afternoon at home. He cooked dinner for the family. It was a Saturday, and his father was off from his job working as an accountant for a popular supermarket chain. His mother was rechecking his luggage to make sure he was well-stocked down to proper underwear. Embarrassing, but living in this house, Miki had long gotten over his mother's ability to examine his undergarments with a critical eye. There was simply no escaping her, other than to leave the country, and even then, she still got a hold of the luggage. Sigh.

His older brother watched television in the living room to pass the time. And to his eternal surprise, even his eldest sister, Mika, brought her husband and two kids home that day. She helped him in the kitchen. Once food was ready, they ate together at the table. The first family meal in a few months. Miki loved that his family laughed and talked with smiles, every time they met like this. Eating with his family was the one thing he cherished most and would miss.

When they finished, his sister helped him clear up, and then he went upstairs to shower and prepare for his flight. He had booked a late flight because it was cheaper. Plus, his new roommate's lawyer had promised to pick him up at the airport and was only available at such odd hours of the night.

Caught between anxiety and excitement, Miki left his childhood bedroom, pulling an unusually large suitcase to the stairs. The large suitcase that was not his doing. He had purchased a reasonable-sized suitcase, but after his mother's meddling, he had ended up with the family suitcase she treasured, which could fit a whole human being and two children. The weight alone made him wonder if she had included the cupboards as well.

His brother helped him take it down the stairs, otherwise he might have injured his back. Downstairs, the whole family gathered in the little corridor leading to the front door. Their expressions...well, he hadn't counted on them being so somber.

"I'll be back in April for a few days," he said, hoping to ease his mother's stricken look.

She looked like he was moving to Alaska, where he would endure having to build an igloo alone and survive an ice storm with only the suitcase she had packed. Needless to say, her tears were not going to stop with a few words. So, he tried for the hug he had hoped to give her when she handed him the bankbook of precious money. He was afraid to ask how she got the money, and glancing at his father who was suspiciously wiping his eyes, Miki decided he would never ask. It was enough they were letting him go.

His mother clung to him tight, then she rubbed his back and stepped back. She touched his jaw, her hands warm as they had always been. She reached up and pushed hair out of his eyes.

"Call, if you need help. I'll find a way," she said, meaning it.

Miki knew that she would find her way to Seoul, if he called with even a hint of discomfort. He promised himself to always sound cheerful when he called her.

His mother stepped back and his oldest sister stepped in. Her hug was tight and warm. She pressed a kiss on his forehead and he laughed when she told him not to be so good. His big brother was next. A tight, squeeze, and a hefty pat on his left shoulder. No words from this mysterious man who had spoken up for him.

A honk came from outside and his brother took his suitcase and dragged it out of the house. The taxi to the airport had arrived.

Miki turned to his father. Tears stung the back of his eyes when his father opened his arms. Miki stepped into his father's embrace, once again feeling like the little boy the man had tutored patiently. Closing his eyes, he took in the scent of faint tobacco and mint.

"Wherever you go, make us proud. We'll always support you."

Hefty words from a father who had guided him to this point. Miki nodded and stepped out of his father's embrace. Taking in a deep breath, he forced a smile for his mother as she moved to stand beside her husband. They were such a pair.

Miki kissed her cheek, tasting the salt of her tears. Stepping back, he closed his jacket before she could ask.

"I'm leaving now," he said.

"Stay safe," his father said, as his mother seemed unable to talk.

Giving them a nod, Miki turned and left his childhood home. The ride to the airport was uneventful, almost felt like he was simply taking a ride to school or to visit his grandparents in the next town. When the taxi stopped at the departures hall, Miki got out and dragged his suitcase out of the trunk; a feat that required the taxi driver to come out and help him. Thanking the taxi driver, Miki slung the book bag with his essentials over his back, his passport and ticket in his left hand. He dragged the suitcase into the airport with his right.

Check-in was fast, glad to give up the mammoth suitcase, security check was unreasonable, waiting to board his flight was exhilarating.

When the plane took off, climbing higher and higher, that he clutched the armrest tight, that was the moment Miki realized that he had successfully stepped out of his lifelong comfort zone.

He was going to a place he didn't know, to people who didn't know him. The possibilities were endless, and it took his breath away.

***

Part 2 – Hiroyuki's Unexpected Gift...the Charming House and Hojun

Three hours later, Miki stood in the unfamiliar Gimpo International Airport, dragging his luggage behind him. His book bag worn backwards on his front. He stowed away his passport and concentrated on checking the white cards held up in the waiting crowd.

Worry almost started when he couldn't find his name, then he saw a wrinkled paper come up written 'Hayashi'. He smiled and walked to the hand holding the wrinkled paper. Passing an anxious woman who was holding a pristine white card in one hand, and a small boy's hand with the other.

The owner of the hand holding the wrinkled paper was a young man who couldn't be more than sixteen. Well-dressed in a white shirt, blue blazer, and pale blue slacks. His haircut framed his cute face, but his gaze wasn't too friendly.

"I'm Hayashi," Miki said, pointing to the wrinkled paper.

"Right on time," the unfriendly gaze suddenly turned welcoming, and Miki blinked. "I'm Park Min. Welcome to Seoul."

The greeting was fast, and in the next second, Min was already on his way heading to the exit. Miki clutched his suitcase and hurried after the younger man. His mother would have called Min rude, but Miki actually liked Min's do-it-yourself attitude.

Outside, Min led the way to a black saloon car, very utilitarian style.

Miki took on the daunting task of loading his suitcase alone. By the time he stuffed the mammoth suitcase inside the trunk, sweat coated his forehead and curiosity burned at what his mother had stuffed inside.

Min was sitting in the front passenger seat, so Miki opened the back door and slid in to the comfortable backseat. He wiped his forehead with a handkerchief.

"Hi."

He dropped his hand to look at the driver. The man in the driver's seat looked in his late twenties. His smile was easy, his gaze friendly.

"Hi," Miki said in answer. "I'm Hayashi."

"Kim Hojun. We've been communicating. It's good to finally match your face to your voice. Call me Hojun, they all do."

Hojun twisted to the side, extending his right hand in greeting.

Miki took the proffered hand with a wide smile. Hojun's handshake was quick, not too long, tight or light, it was just right.

"Your advice was so on point," Miki said, sitting back when Hojun settled back in his seat. "You saved me so much trouble with applications."

"No problem," Hojun answered. "I know you must be tired. We'll head to the house, get you settled, then get you food. On my way to work tomorrow morning, I can drive you to the university."

"Oh, that's so generous of you," Miki said in relief.

He'd armed himself with the public bus schedule but it all seemed foreign until he knew where everything was. Hojun was a godsend. He didn't know how they all knew Hiroyuki, but he hoped to treasure this connection too.

Hojun smiled and started the car, heading out.

"Sorry about you having to handle your suitcase on your own." Hojun glanced at him through the rearview mirror. "I couldn't leave the car unattended and I only had our Min here to rely on. His temperament is an acquired taste."

Miki glanced at the back of Park Min's head and smiled.

"I'm happy for Min. I especially loved the wrinkled paper with my name on it."

Hojun laughed and Min took the paper from the dashboard where he had tossed it. Min shifted and handed Miki the paper.

"So that you'll treasure it," Min said.

Miki took the paper, placing it in his book bag carefully. The ride to his temporary home in this foreign city was filled with Hojun telling him names of streets they used. The man pointed out landmarks, though in the night, they meant nothing to him. He would need to walk on the street in the daytime for it all to sink in. He only knew that he would be living in Itaewon as that was where Hojun and the Parks were based. He was looking at a one-hour commute to school, but that was common even back at home. He didn't mind it. In fact, his blood sang with excitement, already eager to get out there and discover the city for himself.

Through Hojun's easy conversation, he discovered that Park Min was Park Shin's younger brother. They had the same father, but different mothers. The two had lived separately until Park Min's mother passed away a year ago. In order to nurture their brotherly love, their father insisted Min move in with Shin.

Miki watched Min's expression through the rear view mirror. The tense way Min sat at the mention of Shin made him think there was a lot Hojun was leaving out.

"To warn you, Shin is an acquired taste too," Hojun said as he turned into a well-lit street, in what looked like a good-looking neighborhood. "More so than our Min, here. Don't mess with his stuff and you will get along fine."

Park Min chuckled in the front passenger seat and Miki wondered if he'd landed into a strange living situation.

Hojun drove up a hilly street, and stopped at a two story building. The bottom boasted a charming coffee house named Shinjiru. Shinjiru was closed, but the black king-size mug on the side of the building was lighted, emphasizing the name.

On the same side, a staircase snaked up to the second floor of the building to what looked a glass door. Hojun opened the trunk, and Miki came out of the car. He loved the neighborhood already, it wasn't noisy, though there were a few business buildings across the street. Min didn't wait for them and instead skipped up the stairs to the glass doors.

Hojun helped him with his suitcase. Miki instantly liked Hojun because the man helped him carry his ridiculous suitcase up the stairs, which were designed for maximum cardio exercise, without a complaint. Hojun took the handle of the suitcase when they placed it on the landing, and he opened the glass doors, ushering Miki into a small foyer.

The glass doors shut behind them, instantly closing out the outside. There was a metal door into the building fitted with a digital lock.

"The code is 2-4-2-4," Hojun said as he punched in the numbers. The lock instantly unlocked and the door swung open. "Shin hasn't changed it for years, so don't worry about that. In case it does happen, I will give you my cell phone number. Call me and I will help you out."

Miki nodded in understanding praying that this Shin would cooperate and not play such a terrible joke on him.

They entered the house and Miki smiled. The apartment took up the entire length of the coffee house downstairs. He was greeted by the living room, set in a deep hole in the middle of the house. Couches with colorful cushions were arranged in an inviting round setting, a short glass coffee table taking up the space in the middle.

The wall on his right, resonated with the front of the coffee house. This wall was all glass, tinted as he could not see in when he was outside. It felt like the entire neighborhood was displayed for him to view to his heart's content. There was a balcony outside and hanging flower pots with overflowing purple flowers graced the roof, offering privacy when needed.

To his immediate left, one corner had a kitchen space: counters and cupboards against the wall, and an island table in the middle surrounded with high chairs. The fridge was against the wall, allowing the kitchen to flow into the living area. Then to his far left, were three doors. Min entered the one closest to the kitchen and closed it without another word. The door in the middle was open, and the one next, the furthest from the kitchen, was closed.

Hojun, who stood beside him, smiled and pointed at the doors, starting with Min.

"Park Min, then you, the last door there belongs to Park Shin. The rooms are self-contained so you don't have to share a bathroom or toilet. Believe me, that is a lucky thing as Shin is particular about...everything. The kitchen is open to you anytime, feel free to stock the fridge with whatever you like. Shin eats downstairs, Min...I'm not sure what he's been doing about food."

Hojun paused in his explanation looking around the charming living area then the windows.

"Everyone helps out with the cleaning," Hojun said. "Shin is responsible for making up that schedule. Do not worry, that is the one thing he doesn't forget. I water the flowers out there. I would love you forever if you helped out when you can. My schedule can get busy. There's a laptop in your room, a gift from me, it will come in handy for your school. If you want to watch television," Hojun pointed to the corner of the room where a one three-sitter couch faced away from the windows. It faced the wall that was part of Shin's room. "The remote is usually on the couch, in the cushions or under the couch, depending on who was watching last."

"I love it," Miki said elated.

He made a note to thank Hiroyuki for this, because he doubted he would have been so lucky had he done this on his own.

"Why don't I help you settle in your room first, then we can think about food."

Hojun reached for his suitcase, rolling it around the sunken living area, to his door.

"You're going to have to tell me what you like to eat. When Hiroyuki was staying here, I had such fun meeting his challenges. He loved to cook and could make anything."

Miki listened to Hojun go on about Hiroyuki's stay with them. He discovered that Hiroyuki's parents knew Shin and Min's dad. When their son had wanted to spend a month tasting Korean cuisine, they had arranged with Mr. Park for their son to stay here. Hiroyuki loved the experience and even made dinner for Mr. Park every Friday for the duration of his stay. With the way Hojun spoke, Hiroyuki had won Mr. Park's affection. Which explained why it was so easy for Mr. Park to allow him to stay here for the pittance he was paying every month.

Now he really owed Hiroyuki a big debt.

His room was comfortable: medium size, not small like the room he rented back in Tokyo with his roommates. The windows were the best part of the room. So wide, they would let in the sun to perfection. There was a bed, a closet built into the wall, and a desk right by the windows with a chair. The laptop sat on that table, ready for him.

Hojun placed his suitcase by the closet, and retrieved a set of new sheets and a spread for the bed. They worked in fast harmony, making the bed, then quickly arranging two fluffy pillows at the head. Once that was done, Hojun led the way to a door tucked in right beside the closet. The bathroom had a toilet, a shower stall, and there was a sink with a mirror above it.

"Hairdryer is here," Hojun opened the little cupboard under the sink. "Cleaning supplies and all that. Let me know when you run out, or write a note to Shin."

"Laundry?" Miki asked.

"Ah yes, there is a laundry room behind the coffee shop. The key to the door is in the kitchen. I'll show you where. No one will bother you even if you go when the coffee shop is open. Okay?"

"Okay," Miki said, feeling at ease.

His living needs sorted, now all he had to do was get used to the commute to school and settle into the rhythm of a new environment. He hoped everyone he met was as helpful as Hojun.

"Now, how about I find out if we can get food delivered?" Hojun glanced at his watch. "Thirty minutes or so, we can meet in the kitchen? Do you want anything specific?"

"Whatever you get is fine," Miki said, not really hungry. His stomach was filled with butterflies.

Hojun studied him for a second, then squeezed his shoulder, probably to soothe him. He left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

Alone, Miki sat on the edge of his now neat bed and fell back with a sigh staring at the blue ceiling. Five hours ago, he'd been hugging his mother goodbye, watching her tears flow like he was going to war. Mrs. Hayashi was probably waiting for a message from him.

Miki got up and went to the laptop on the desk. He thanked his lucky stars as Hojun had even set the password for the house WiFi. Ten minutes later, he had sent a message to the family email, and a huge thank you to Hiroyuki, who had now turned into his most favorite person in the world.

Finished, he stretched his arms above his head and got up. He was wondering if he could squeeze in a shower when his door opened wide, and a tall man filled the doorway.

Dark brown hair, too long to be called neat, it bordered on shaggy. Dark eyes swept over him, then the room as though searching for something. When he didn't find it, the gaze returned to Miki.

"Hayashi?"

Miki nodded.

"Park Shin," the man said. "Sorry to startle you, I was cleaning in here early. Wanted to make sure I didn't leave stuff hanging out."

"The place looks great," Miki said. "Thanks for cleaning my room."

Shin studied him for a moment longer, then nodded toward the kitchen.

"Hojun is setting out a spread like you wouldn't believe. We rarely get this treatment here, so if you're hungry, better hurry. Min doesn't spare anyone anything."

The invitation was cordial, unexpected of the man Hojun said was particular about everything. Whatever that meant. Miki gave up the shower idea and followed Shin to the kitchen.

The scent made his mouth water. Seems as though all the traveling got him hungry again. Shin chose a high chair on one side, patting the seat beside him for Miki. Across the table, Hojun sat arranging the food so that everyone could get to it. Min's rice bowl was already filled with meat.

"Min, eat slower. You're going to choke," Shin commented.

Miki, whose gaze had been on Min, noted the crease on Min's forehead at the comment. Min slowed down his bites, his shoulders tense as he stared at the fried chicken pieces closest to him. Miki picked up the chopsticks beside his plate, reached for a piece of fried chicken and placed it on Min's plate. Min glanced at him and he smiled in encouragement.

Min grinned, his enthusiasm returning as he dug into his food.

Hojun held out a bowl of beef stew to him and gave him a wink. Thanking him, Miki picked up his spoon and took his first bite of Korean food. He ate like a starving man. He and Min could be kindred spirits. When there was only last piece of fried chicken in the bowl, Miki laughed when Min stared at it, his gaze longing as though he hadn't eaten the largest portion.

Taking the piece, he was going to place it on Min's plate, when a strong hand wrapped around his wrist and the chicken ended up on Shin's plate.

"Share with me too," Shin said, when he released Miki's hand.

"You're just jealous Miki seems to like our Min."

"I'm never jealous," Shin said, biting into the chicken with relish.

Hojun laughed and got up, ready to clear the table. When Miki got up to help, Shin grabbed his left arm and made him sit down.

"You're a guest today," Shin said. "Min will help Hojun."

"You're so cordial today," Hojun teased, taking the empty bowls of food to the sink.

Min got up too and gathered the containers the food had come in. Miki drank water, watching the pair clean up the table in silence. Mostly, he watched Min who seemed to have a secret smile doing the simple task. That smile was hard to hide when Shin handed him his empty plate and bowl. Miki frowned. He knew that smile, had seen it on his brother's lips when he handed his mother money toward the house expenses.

Min wanted Shin's acknowledgement.

Shin finished drinking his water and stood up, taking his glass and Miki's to the sink where Hojun was finishing the rest of the dishes.

Once the kitchen was clean again, Shin stood in the middle of the kitchen.

"Well, thanks for the food, Hyung," he told Hojun. "Everything settled, Hayashi?"

"Yes," Miki answered.

"Great," Shin said. "Well, you guys have a good night. I have things to do."

Shin left the kitchen without another word, heading to his room. Min watched his brother close his door, his shoulders slumped. Hojun squeezed the young man's shoulders and they both watched Min head to his room.

"I wish those two would try talking," Hojun said with a sigh. "Life would get easier for them."

Miki turned to Hojun.

"Does Shin not like Min?"

"I think it's a case of not taking the time to get to know each other." Hojun glanced at his watch, a perpetual habit, Miki noted. "It's almost twelve o'clock. I should get going. I live five minutes away, maybe you can visit when you are settled. Tonight, I'll let you sleep. I'll pick you up at seven-thirty in the morning, we should get to Campus at around eight-thirty to nine. Okay?"

Miki nodded, following Hojun to the front door. Hojun opened the door and Miki touched his shoulder.

"Thank you, Hojun."

"It's no trouble," Hojun said, looking beyond him to the two closed doors on opposite ends. "In time, you will see that I'm the one who should be grateful to you. Get some sleep, Hayashi."

"Please call me Miki," he said.

Hojun smiled, his gaze lighting up.

"Miki it is. Good night."

"Good night."

***

Part 3 – Daily Life, Two Friends, and Two Brothers

Two weeks flew by in a whirlwind filled with settling into his course schedule, which had the same punishing demands as the one he kept at Tokyo University, and his new home. Hojun drove him to school the first three days, but on Thursday, two of his class mates in the 'Doing Business in Korea' class discovered they lived close to him. When they found out he lived above Shinjiru Coffee, their excitement grew and in an instant, he made two new friends: Roberto Kim, who was a Korean-Italian living in Seoul until graduation, and Im Sunha, whose parents insisted he live at home.

Thursday morning, the two guys met him at the coffee shop, and Miki gladly learned to use the public bus. From there, he released a worried Hojun from carting him from home to school and back. And his first real immersion into the city began.

Sunha knew all the best places to eat, shop, and hang out. Roberto made Miki feel at ease, because his Korean was way better than Roberto's. The locals could at least understand what he was saying.

Sunha and Roberto filled his time. So busy did they keep him, the days passed too fast. He always got home in time to take a shower, and fall on his bed, dead asleep.

Thanks to an excellent guidance counselor, his weekends were free of classes. He spent his first weekend doing chores Shin had left listed on the fridge. The man was a silent slave driver. The list included vacuuming the couches, shaking out floor rugs, to cleaning the windows in the living room, inside and out. That first Saturday, chores took up half his day. By the time Miki finished with his laundry, he was too tired to meet Roberto and Sunha, so he stayed home finally arranging his closet. It turned out his mother had thankfully left out the cupboards.

The second weekend, Miki was well prepared for Shin's list of chores. He woke up at seven-thirty in the morning, and went to the kitchen. Sure enough, it was up already even though Shin was nowhere in sight. Miki grabbed the list and read Shin's scratchy handwriting.

Wipe down windows, shake out floor rugs in sitting area, vacuum couches and floor, mop floor...

Slave driver, Miki scowled.

Did Shin know Miki's mother treated him like a precious son? She had done his laundry, cleaned his room and arranged his closet all his life.

Oh well, that was part of the reason he had ended up in Seoul, he thought with a sigh.

Tying a red scarf around his forehead to keep back his hair, Miki went to a closet behind the fridge and got the cleaning supplies. He took the floor rugs out to the balcony, hanging them on a rail, then he cleaned the windows. He was well into vacuuming the couches when Min appeared at his bedroom door. Miki finished vacuuming the floors and turned off the machine.

"Morning," he said with a wide grin. "Hungry?"

Min stared at him, his gaze sleepy, a frown gracing his smooth forehead.

"What's with the noise so early in the morning," Min grumbled. "Couldn't you do this later?"

"Later, I have to go out," Miki said, looking forward to visiting Sunha's house.

Sunha had said his parents were out of town, so they could do whatever they wanted.

"Again?" Min scoffed. "Guess you only sleep here and clean the floors."

Miki frowned at the comment. Placing the vacuum cleaner to the side of the couch, Miki came up from the living area and stretched his arms above his head.

"Min, what are you doing today?" he asked, dropping his arms.

"Nothing," Min said. "Doing homework...maybe."

Miki heard the unsaid words. Heard the loneliness ringing through. He'd felt that loneliness once. In high school when weekends were spent in school, then in his room studying. Truthfully, he should have tried to make friends, but after years of ignoring his classmates, they'd taken to ignoring him too.

Miki went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. He'd gone shopping last night for groceries. He was the only one who did, as he'd yet to run into Shin even at University to ask about a grocery list.

Taking out eggs, Miki took the pack of six eggs to the cooking range and reached for a pan. The easiest meal he knew how to make was an omelet. Sunha had brought him fresh veggies from the market near his house, which Miki placed in a basket on the counter. Taking one huge tomato, an onion and garlic, he went to the sink to wash them.

Curious Min came into the kitchen and settled on the closest chair, bracing his elbows on the table.

"What are you making?" Min asked, when Miki cracked the eggs into a bowl.

"An omelet," Miki whipped the eggs. "Wanna help?"

"I don't know how," Min answered.

"It's easy. I'll teach you."

Min hesitated.

Miki worked on chopping onions, and was cutting tomatoes when Min appeared on his right. He handed the garlic to Min.

"What do I do with it?" Min asked, studying it like a foreign object.

"Peel it first," Miki said, biting back a laugh.

Min was diligent. With a paring knife, he peeled four cloves without flinching. They didn't need the whole garlic, so Miki took back the rest of the garlic.

"Now, crush them with the back of the knife," Miki advised.

Starting the cooker, he poured olive oil onto the pan. Once the oil was hot enough, he added the onions. Min watched his every move with a keen eye. Miki allowed him to add the garlic, careful to make sure Min wouldn't burn himself. When the mixture sizzled, he added the egg on top. Min grinned when the eggs bubbled, then set on the pan.

"Now the challenge," Miki teased, taking the spatula. He handed it to Min and pulled him closer to the cooking range. "We're going to turn the egg, and it shouldn't break into pieces."

Miki guided Min, running the spatula under the egg. There was no liquid on the top, so Miki was confident they would turn it without a break. Watching Min bite his lower lip, nervous about the exercise was priceless. They turned the egg with only one scare when the other side didn't stretch right. Miki took over then, making sure the egg stayed intact.

When it was done, Min grinned.

"Is that good?"

"Very," Miki said, lowering the heat.

The top was a nice color, in a minute, the simple omelet would be done. He got a plate from the cupboard above the cooking range and placed it on the counter.

"Breakfast is done. Min, I always buy eggs, so whenever you feel hungry, do you think you can make this?"

"You don't mind?" Min asked, his gaze wide in surprise.

"Nope."

"I can pay you the groceries," Min said. "Hojun gives me the cash, but I never know what to make. Sometimes, it's boring to always eat out and worse to eat alone."

Miki turned off the cooker. He put the egg on the plate.

"That one's for you," Miki said, placing the pan on the cooker.

He used the remaining onions and tomatoes to make his omelet. When he was done, he placed his plate on the island table beside Min. Washing kiwis from the fruit basket, he cut them into pieces, and brought a share for Min. Lastly, he got two glasses and filled them with orange juice.

They ate in silence for a while. Then Min relaxed and the dam broke. Boy was the kid a talker. Min asked questions, as though he were preparing for a quiz in the next minute. Miki answered with patience born from being too nice.

Min asked him about Japan, how it felt to live here, what he liked to eat, why he was doing the exchange program. Did he know how to make sake? His favorite food? Music? Movies? Video games? Why did he choose Seoul of all places to visit? Since he was in university, did he have a girlfriend yet?

"No, I don't," Miki answered.

"Why not?" Min asked.

Thanks to Min's distracting quiz session, they'd finished breakfast, washed their dishes, and now Miki was finishing the moping in the living room. Min took the aired rugs from the balcony and replaced them.

"Hayashi?"

"Min, call me Miki."

Min smiled straightening the rug under the coffee table.

"Will you answer my question?"

"Never thought of getting one."

Truth was, he wasn't interested in girls.

In high school, he had a crash on the school's best basketball player. Akashi was his name. Goodness that boy could throw a ball. He'd loved watching Akashi race across the basketball court, all sweaty, tall and lanky. He'd dreamt about Akashi, wanting to kiss him, listen to him talk and laugh. Sadly, Miki never managed to gather the courage to approach Akashi. Too shy, too...well, his state of mind in high school could be considered uptight. Though, right before graduation, Akashi broke his heart by kissing a girl in the darkest corner of the library. The pathetic soul that he was, he'd ran off and gone to cry in the boy's bathroom. The only time he ever skipped classes.

"Will you get one?" Min asked, breaking into his thoughts.

"No."

"Why?" Min asked, sitting on the coffee table.

"You ask a billion questions," Miki countered, taking the mop and bucket to go pour the dirty water in a drain fitted outside on the balcony floor.

When that was done, he used a tap he had discovered hidden behind a flower pot to rinse the bucket and mop. He left them to dry propped against the wall.

Min came out to join him on the balcony, taking the sprinkler from the corner. He filled it with water.

"You're the first person I've asked so many questions in a while," Min said.

Miki leaned on the balcony railing watching a couple walk their dog on the street. He loved their neighborhood. Liked watching their neighbors going about their lives from here.

"Why in a while?" Miki asked.

"No one has the time to listen," Min answered, watering Hojun's flowers.

Miki frowned, remembering Hojun had said Min's mother died.

"Did your mum listen?" Miki asked, returning his gaze to Min who had stopped watering the flowers.

Min studied a violet flower and Miki wondered if Min was avoiding his question.

"She never got tired of my questions," Min answered after a long while. His voice low, too low. "I miss her, Miki. Sometimes, I think I hear her voice, but when I turn—

Min broke off, swallowing hard.

Poor Min was still grieving his mother.

Miki wondered if Shin even knew the pain his brother was living with.

"Min," Miki said, waiting until Min was looking at him. "Anytime you are curious about something, come find me. Okay? You can call me, text me, I promise I will answer."

Min swallowed hard, his eyes glittering in the sunlight with unshed tears. Then Min, looked away and coughed. He swiped his hand over his face, probably wiping away a tear. Miki turned back to watch the streets to give Min some privacy.

"Can I come with you to visit your friend?" Min asked after a few minutes, he came to lean on the railing beside Miki.

Miki bumped Min's shoulder with his.

"Are you sure you won't be bored? We're not doing anything special, just watching movies and maybe play video games—

"It sounds like fun," Min cut in. "Can I come with?"

Miki shrugged.

"Sure, why not."

***

Sunha and Roberto loved Min, especially when they discovered he was a pro with video games. Miki watched them play. His gaze half on the television where an English movie was running, Roberto's choice, and on the game Sunha and Min played on the screen right next.

As the afternoon wore on, Roberto introduced beers into the small party. Sunha allowed Min a sip, and in the next moment, the sixteen year old held his own can. Miki hoped that Shin wouldn't be too pissed if he discovered they encouraged under aged drinking. Especially when they discovered Min's alcohol tolerance was lower than that of an ant. Halfway through the can, and the kid was drunk. He passed out on the couch, much to Sunha's shock and Roberto's amusement.

Roberto laughed when Miki tried to wake Min up with no response.

"Stop laughing, do you know I'm going to have to carry him home."

Miki shook his head when he touched Min's arm and got a grunt in answer.

"You say his last name is Park?" Sunha asked, pausing the video game and the movie.

"Yeah," Miki nodded, crouching beside Min. "He has an older brother, Park Shin. Haven't spent much time with him since I arrived."

"What about them?" Roberto asked Sunha.

"Hmm...a year ago, a lady named Park Suni died in a tragic car accident. The story made it to local papers because the press discovered she was a mistress to the owner of the Shinjiru Coffee, Mr. Park. Word is, Mr. Park's actual wife was so shocked, she got on a flight to New York and hasn't returned since. I can't imagine what that must be like for Min and his older brother."

Miki stared at the sleeping teenager, aching to the core at the tragedy tying Min and Shin.

"No wonder he seems so closed off," Miki said, getting up. He stretched his arms above his head. "Guess that just makes him right for our group, right? Can't believe we got him drunk."

"I've never met anyone who gets drunk from half a can of beer." Roberto laughed.

Miki bent to study a sleeping Min. He was an adorable kid, made him want to protect him from the terrible realities of life.

"Stop laughing Rob and help me with him."

Sunha didn't live too far from the coffee house, so the trek home wasn't too bad. Min's warmth on his back was comfortable, but this carefree view ended the moment he had to climb the punishing stairs to their house. Try carrying a full-grown teenager, full on dead weight as the punk was passed out cold, and see how that feels like.

Sweat coated his face by the time he opened the door, his breath coming out in short gulps. Miki wondered if he shouldn't join a gym in this new life he was carving out. He removed his shoes, and bent lower when Min shifted dangerously on his back. His hands holding Min's thighs to keep him balanced, Miki focused on getting to Min's room.

"What happened?"

Shin's deep voice startled him but he didn't stop. He felt on the verge of collapse, so he ignored Shin and hobbled to Min's room. He made it in time to drop Min on his bed. Wiping his face with his t-shirt, Miki straightened his back with a groan.

God, he was only twenty-one, and he felt like an old man.

Shin entered Min's room, coming to the bed to check Min's pulse, pressing his palm on Min's forehead to check his temperature.

"Is he sick?"

Miki scoffed. "Unless you count a lonely heart an illness."

"Then why did you carry him in?" Shin demanded.

Miki bit his tongue remembering he was the reason Min was passed out. He moved around the bed and concentrated instead on removing Min's shoes, then getting the covers from under Min.

Shin stopped glaring at him to help remove Min's belt. Once they had the boy comfortable, Miki pulled the covers over Min, and paused when Shin bent over to smell Min's breath.

"He's drunk!"

Miki left the bedroom when Min promptly snuggled into his pillow with a small smile holding back a laugh at Shin's unhappy expression.

He heard Min's door close behind him, and then Shin was grabbing his right hand.

"You got my brother drunk. He's sixteen!"

Shin's dark brown eyes were angry, their depths liquid like molten dark chocolate.

Miki stared unable to look away.

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

Miki frowned.

"It was one beer. He was perfectly safe."

"Are you drunk too?" Shin demanded.

"No."

Shin took a step closer, his grip on Miki's right arm tightening. Miki gasped when Shin leaned close and sniffed his breath. The action so abrupt, and intimate, their gazes were an inch away.

Miki blinked, his gaze transfixed by dark brown eyes, and something shifted inside him. Shin dropped his eyes to his lips. Miki held his breath, suddenly too hot. The reaction surprised him, so he stepped back, jerking his hand out of Shin's hold.

"Stop hanging out with my brother," Shin said, his tone abrasive.

It annoyed Miki.

"What happens if I don't stop?"

"I'll make you want to go back to Tokyo," Shin warned.

Miki smiled. He doubted that was possible. He was having too much fun to go back to Tokyo.

"I'd like to see you try." Miki countered. "While you're at it, try showing some concern to Min directly. He has no idea you care."

Moving around Shin, Miki hurried to his bedroom ready to slam the door closed. Remembering Min was asleep next door, he controlled the slam, closing the door with a firm thud and leaned on it. His heart pounded in his chest, as though he'd raced up a mountain. Miki breathed out, and decided he needed sleep.

***

Part 4: Park Shin – That Man, he Stole my Heart

Miki couldn't stop thinking about Shin and his concern for Min. Shin's silent concern reminded him of his older brother, Nobu. The mysterious man who had spoken up for him at the least expected moment.

Were all older siblings so uniformed? Why keep the concern and worry hidden? Did it make sense keeping Min in the dark? All Min wanted was Shin's attention, why didn't Shin see that?

Miki dropped his pen on his open book and stared out the windows he'd cleaned. It was raining. A gentle rain, washing away the dust on Hojun's flowers. Miki sat on a cushion set on a rug right by the floor length windows, books around him. The house quiet, Min was still asleep, and Shin...well, his door was closed. Miki didn't know if he was in or out, though he couldn't help wondering where Shin would go so early on a Sunday morning.

Moving his books aside, Miki stretched out on the rug, folding his arms on the cushion, he rested his chin on them, and let out a soft sigh. One minute he was watching raindrops on the glass, the next...he fell asleep.

A soft touch on his jaw woke him. Opening his eyes, he stiffened when he saw Shin seated beside him. His first instinct was to sit up and put space between them. Noting Shin was reading one of his books, Miki curbed the urge and kept still instead.

Shin wore earphones, listening to music from his phone. In a comfy blue sweater, and slacks, he sat with his legs folded. The book resting on the floor. His hands were large and strong and for a moment, Miki watched Shin turn the pages on the book.

When had Shin come to sit next to him? Why?

It was still raining, he could hear the raindrops falling faster now. He shifted his legs and realized there was a blanket covering him. The movement drew Shin's gaze. Miki froze, meeting amused dark eyes.

Miki started to get up, but then Shin removed one of his earphones and extended it to him. Miki took it, lay back on the cushion and pressed it into his right ear. Shin shifted his to his left ear to accommodate him.

Jinsil's voice singing It's Over filled his head. The music matched the mood of the day, though he wasn't sure about the lyrics. They were a tad depressing.

Shin continued reading his book. Miki, his head on the cushion, watched him unable to look away. His fingers itched to tuck hair behind Shin's ear, touch the dark stubble on Shin's jaw to feel if it was soft. Shin bit his lower lip drawing his gaze there. Thinking about last night, and Shin leaning close...so close, their lips had almost touched. His breath hitched at the thought, heat spreading through him.

Miki closed his eyes then. He took in a calming breath, berating his head for this. Shin would probably think him crazy were he to voice his thoughts. Like Akashi, Shin was bound to break his heart in the future, the man probably had a girlfriend.

His breath came in a gasp when the soft pad of a finger rubbed over his forehead. Opening his eyes, he met Shin's gaze.

"What are you worrying about?" Shin asked with a small smile.

Miki liked the feel of Shin's caress, liked it too much...that's what he was worrying about, but how could he say that? Shin might actually kick him out, and he'd end up back in Tokyo.

Frowning even deeper, he shifted back so that Shin's hand wouldn't reach him.

"Why are you sitting here with me?" Miki asked, opting for a safer topic.

"Found you sleeping in the cold," Shin said. "You'll catch a cold lying on the floor like this."

"I was watching the rain."

"I figured. I love it when it rains too. The streets below get quiet, everyone is hiding indoors. It's like you're—

"In a world alone," Miki finished gaining a smile from Shin.

"Do you often like to be alone, Hayashi?"

Miki stared at Shin's smile. That smile that made his insides melt, like ice under the sun.

"I'm trying not to like it so much," Miki said, sitting up.

He wrapped the blanket around his shoulders.

"Why?"

"I have spent so much time alone, I feel like I'm letting the world pass me by," Miki answered, thinking of the panic that drove him here. "Last semester, I suddenly realized I've never gotten drunk, or gotten hurt playing soccer in the field. I haven't stayed out late into the night with friends, or gone on a road trip to an unknown place. I've always...done the right thing, staying home...worrying about the future."

"Is that why you are here?" Shin asked.

Miki shrugged.

"I might have over thought the situation, and ended up overdoing things."

"You mean leaving a country for adventure."

Miki glanced at Shin, and laughed.

"Yes, I suppose that sounds crazy. My parents thought I needed a doctor to check whether I had lost my mind."

"And have you?"

"Do you think I've lost my mind?"

"No."

Miki was glad that Shin didn't think him crazy.

"Have you found it yet?" Shin asked.

"Found what?"

"The adventure you are looking for?" Shin asked.

Miki stared at the rain-stained windows before them.

"Maybe," he answered, thinking about Sunha and Roberto. They were good friends to have. Then there was Min and now Shin..."It's only been two weeks."

"Yes," Shin agreed. "You have months ahead of you...a lot can happen in a year."

"You're right. I have—," Miki started, only to stop when Min's door opened and Shin turned to look at his brother.

Shin stood, the fast movement removing the earphone lodged in Miki's ear, breaking the magic of the moment.

"Min," Shin said, his tone hard. "We need to talk."

"About what?" Min grumbled, rubbing his sleep-heavy eyes.

"Last night, how could you—

"Are you hungry, Min?" Miki got up too, realizing Shin's intention. "Why don't I make you breakfast again?"

"Hayashi—

"He's Miki," Min said, glaring at his brother.

"Miki," Shin adjusted with a wince.

"It's a nice day," Miki said, dropping the blanket on his shoulders on the couch. He walked to the kitchen, beckoning Min to follow him. "Why don't we skip the lecture—?

"I wasn't going to lecture," Shin started.

"Yes you were," Min said, following Miki to the kitchen.

"Ya, who is at fault here—," Shin asked.

"Me," Miki cut him off, already rummaging through the fridge.

He didn't know what he wanted to feed the two brothers, as long as it put them both in a better mood. Shin and Min needed a referee, and since Hojun was not around, it seemed that job fell to him. Min slid onto a chair at the island table, resting his head on the clean surface with a sigh. He closed his eyes, and Miki glanced at Shin, giving him a censuring glance.

"What?" Shin mouthed at him.

"Come here," Miki ordered, mouthing his words too. "Help me."

Shin glared at him, and Miki pointed to the pile of vegetables set aside on the table. When Shin didn't move, Miki lifted his fist, the stance threatening.

Shin bit back a laugh and shook his head.

"What are you two doing?" Min asked, and Miki turned to find him staring at them.

Miki smiled.

"Shin is offering to help with breakfast. Isn't that right, Shin?"

Shin sighed and came to the kitchen.

"I'm not helping—," Shin said.

"Yes, you are," Miki insisted, handing Shin a knife.

"You didn't let me finish," Shin sighed. "I'm going to cook because I'm afraid you'll ruin the kitchen."

"Miki cooks really well," Min offered.

"Does he?" Shin asked, glancing at Miki. "When did you cook?"

"Yesterday," Min answered for him. "He made me an omelet."

Shin frowned.

"Why didn't I get one?"

"Who knows when you're in or not?"

Miki moved to wash his hands at the sink.

"What time was it?" Shin demanded.

"Morning," Min answered, pleased with Shin's apparent jealousy. "Afterwards, we spent the day finishing that list of chores you made up. Then Miki took me to meet his friends. They are really cool."

Miki groaned, frowning at Min for bringing that up.

"Where you got drunk." Shin commented, holding the knife up.

Miki wiped his hands on a dishcloth and deftly took the knife from Shin. He urged Shin to the sink to wash his hands.

"Min wasn't drunk," Miki chided. "Just tipsy."

"I'm not sure which of you I should punish for the underage drinking," Shin said with a frown.

"None of us?" Min gave his brother a hopeful glance. "Please?"

Min and Miki, both, looked at Shin at the same time, giving him pleading looks. Shin scowled, turning on the water.

"Cut it out, both of you," Shin grumbled. "Where did you learn to look so pitiful? How can you both have the same expression?"

Min chuckled and Miki winked at him.

Shin let the topic go. And Min relaxed.

Working with Shin to make breakfast, Miki watched Min come to life once again. His smiles more easier, especially if Shin asked him a question, or talked to him. Simple instructions, like 'rinse this', turned into magic moments, until Miki stepped aside at the end, watching the brothers work together.

"Miki," Shin said.

He blinked to find both Min and Shin staring at him.

"Are you alright?" Min asked.

"Fine," Miki said, looking at the food on the table. "You guys did a good job with breakfast."

"You helped," Shin pointed out, taking an empty bowl to the sink. He returned with clean chopsticks from a drawer, and spoons.

Miki started to protest, but then stopped. Sure if he mentioned the brothers had ended up making breakfast alone, the two would stop sitting together as they now were. Min looked too happy.

Miki took his cutlery from Shin. Their fingers grazed, and a shiver went through him. He squelched it hard, but not without giving Shin a guilty glance. Shin only smiled at him, and urged him to eat.

Shin spent most of his time placing food on Min's plate. From the vegetable omelet, the tofu seasoned with soy sauce, radish kimchi to the Korean coleslaw. Seeing him diligently making sure his brother ate, Miki fell in love with Shin.

Fall...such a strange word to use for the overwhelming need to watch Shin every second. He wanted to hear Shin laugh. Watch Shin's every gesture. Wanted to touch him, wanted to kiss him and taste his lips.

Yes, okay, maybe he was falling, headlong into obsession.

An obsession he was afraid Shin would never reciprocate.

***

Part 5: A Car Ride, a Wooden Boats Bridge and One Wish

After that Sunday, a comfortable routine began in their small household. Shin made breakfast early in the morning, which certainly brought Min out of his bedroom earlier than before. Miki finally got to see Min in his high school uniform. A white shirt, with the school's logo, dark trousers and a blazer. His tie in a very untidy knot. Shin scowled at it every time Min sat at the table. Watching them bicker was a fantastic experience.

Miki always left first, so that he could meet Roberto and Sunha. Shin scowled at him when he got up from the table without finishing his food. Miki locked each scowl in his heart, glad that Shin noticed when he left.

That was enough, he thought. It was enough that Shin noticed him.

Until a beautiful Saturday morning in the middle of March.

Sunha loved photography, and he often took on projects that took him out of the city. On this Saturday, Sunha was to take photographs of a couple his parents knew at Dumulmeori garden in Yansu-ri, almost two hours' drive out of Itaewon. Miki hadn't gotten a chance to play the tourist, so he asked Sunha if he could go along. Not wanting to be left behind, Roberto suggested they turn the project into a weekend getaway.

On Friday night, in anticipation of the weekend away, Miki agreed with his friends to turn in early, so that they could take the first bus out to Yangsu-ri. When he got home, he found both Min and Shin already in. Shin's door was open for once, and he was moving in and out to the living room, working on a project.

Min sat on the couch in front of the television watching a show. It was the first time Miki had ever found them together like this.

"Where have you been?" Shin asked him in greeting when he closed the door.

"Out with Roberto and Sunha," he answered, taking the bag of groceries he'd bought to the kitchen. "We ate dinner and thought we should turn in early for tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?" Shin asked.

"We're going to Yansu-ri," Miki grinned. "My first trip out of town. Sunha is going to take us to Dumulmeori garden."

"Can I come?" Min asked, sitting up on the couch to look at him. "Are you taking the bus?"

"If you can wake up early, sure," Miki said stowing away groceries. "I'll let Sunha know, so that he can include you for tomorrow night. We get to sleep at this inn—

"I'm coming too," Shin interrupted.

"Really?" Miki stared at Shin.

He hoped the elation spreading through him wasn't showing. It was almost unbelievable that this would be the first time in almost a month to go anywhere with Shin. It seemed surreal. Sure, they talked in this loft, but they'd yet to meet outside its walls, not even in the university where they both attended. Miki kept feeling as though their worlds were miles apart.

"Miki?"

Miki blinked and found Shin staring at him.

"Huh?"

"I have a car, you don't need to take the bus. If your friends don't mind," Shin said.

Miki frowned.

"Since when do you own a car?" he asked.

Shin chuckled. "Since always."

Miki looked to Min for confirmation and got a nod in answer.

"I didn't know," Miki said. He left too early anyway to ever know how Shin got around.

"I wondered why you've never asked me for a ride," Shin said. "Hojun never told you that you could?"

Miki shrugged. "I released him from having to take me to school every morning. I don't expect you to take on that task."

Shin frowned at him. "This attitude, did you have it in Japan too?"

"What attitude?" Miki asked taking his book bag off the island table.

His shoulders ached, the day's activities taking a toll on him. He slung his bag over his left shoulder and rubbed his right shoulder with a sigh.

"The I-can-do-it-all-alone-and-don't-need-anyone attitude."

"That's not fair," Miki frowned. "I've not been—

"Don't bother," Shin said, turning back to the files on the coffee table. "Do you want to go with the car or not?"

"I'll confirm with Sunha," Miki said.

Miki headed to his bedroom, dropping his back pack on the floor. He sunk onto the comfortable mattress wondering why his heart fluttered and skipped when Shin spoke. Why would he like that god-awful attitude? Did it make sense that every cell in his body vibrated with excitement at the thought of spending a weekend in close proximity to Shin?

He reached into his jeans pocket and got his cell phone. Dialing Sunha's number a minute later, a sleepy Sunha answered.

"I thought you were going to sleep?"

"Park Shin has a car," Miki said. "He offered to drive us down and—

"Yes." Sunha did not let him finish. "I'll skip the bus any day."

Of course Sunha would not turn down the offer.

"Alright, I'll tell him you said okay."

"Roberto and I will meet you at the coffee shop. Now get off the phone, I need to sleep."

Sunha ended the call and Miki let out a soft sigh. Not wanting to face Shin again, he texted a 'yes' to Shin, coupled with a thank you. He turned to his left side, his eyes drifting closed when Shin didn't reply at once. He was almost slipping into sleep when his phone buzzed.

'Great. I hope we take the next trip together without the baggage.'

Miki rubbed his eyes and reread the message.

What did Shin mean next trip? And together? Did that include Min too? Or...for a full minute, his head filled with images of him and Shin driving along the highway. Shin's smile wide, his fingers tangled with Miki's on his lap.

Miki sat up then, rubbing his eyes hard. His imagination was going to drive him crazy he decided. He didn't think Shin would ever hold his hand with a wide smile; a lover's smile.

Saturday morning dawned, with it, a wide-eyed Min who seemed too excited for words and an energetic Shin who walked with a bounce in his every step. They both looked like they'd had more than the strong coffee Miki brewed to wake his foggy brain. He dragged his overnight bag down the stairs, holding his camera with precious care. While Sunha would be getting paid to take professional pictures, Miki would enjoy taking personal pictures to share with his family.

Shin's car turned out to be a white SUV parked along the curb near the coffee house. Miki realized he had seen the car before, but always assumed it belonged to one of the coffee house staff. Shin took his bag from him and stowed it in the trunk. Coming around to the passenger side, Shin asked Min to sit in the back and then opened the front passenger door for Miki.

Too sleep-deprived to ask, Miki slid into the front passenger seat and wore his seatbelt. He closed his eyes looking forward to a serious nap on the drive to Yangsu-ri.

Shin started the car and was fiddling with the radio when Sunha and Roberto showed up. Shin got out of the car to help them with their luggage. In less than five minutes, Sunha and Roberto slid into the back, teasing Min, and dumping a bag filled with snacks on his lap.

"Miki, you look wiped out," Sunha teased. "Long night? Do you have a girlfriend we haven't met?"

"He doesn't have one," Min answered.

"Wonder why?" Roberto teased. "That cute face should have landed him a few from the business department."

"As if any of you bastards have any," Miki replied with a scoff.

"I have one," Sunha responded. "She's texting me on the hour about every thing. I'm about to tell her I'm out of town for the weekend."

Roberto chuckled. "You can't mean the girl from the convenience store? She looks half your age."

"I'm twenty-one," Sunha frowned. "What's wrong with dating an eighteen year old?"

"She's barely out of high school," Roberto said.

"So what?" Sunha scowled. "You were dating an actual high school student last year."

"That was different," Roberto sat back. "She didn't tell me she was in high school."

"Jeez, are you two writing a drama?" Min asked between them.

"No," both Sunha and Roberto answered.

"What's the girl from the convenience store like?" Min asked Sunha.

Miki smiled as Sunha got into describing his latest girlfriend. Roberto helping along. Miki stole a glance at Shin and his smile slipped slightly. Shin wore a white hoodie, covering his head in the cool morning. His hands moved with assured grace on the steering wheel. He knew the roads well, and soon, they were headed out of the main city headed to Yangsu-ri.

Miki lost the fight to stay conscious, and fell asleep listening to the guys joke around in the back. When he came to, the car was stopped. The sun warm against his skin. He shifted to straighten his back and turned his head to find Shin watching him.

"Hey," he said, wiping a hand down his face, hoping to take off drool.

He had not meant to sleep so much.

Miki sat up and looked at the back to find it empty.

"They're inside the shop." Shin pointed to a small convenience store on his right side. "Min needed a bathroom. He's been drinking water nonstop since Seoul."

Miki nodded and let out a soft sigh.

"You sleep hard," Shin said with a small smile. "You didn't hear them teasing you for snoring."

"I don't snore."

"Yes you do."

"No way."

Shin chuckled and shifted in his seat to look at him.

"How do you know you don't snore?"

"I just do," Miki answered meeting dark brown eyes, helplessly drowning in them.

"You drool though," Shin said after a moment, lifting a finger to point at the left corner of Miki's mouth.

Miki looked away quickly swiping his hand over his mouth. Of all times to drool.

Shin laughed and turned up the music. Say Sue Me was on, singing One Week, the tune upbeat. Miki smiled when Shin started banging his head to the music. The man was in an absolutely good mood. They sat in the car listening to rock music. Shin would glance at him occasionally and smile. Cars passed them in the parking lot, pedestrians walked by their car...Miki noticed none of it. He simply watched Shin relax in the driver's seat listening to music and felt content.

"Miki, you're awake," Min said, opening the back passenger door. He climbed in and held out a coffee cup to him. "Thought you might need this. I'm thinking we need to invest in a caffeine drip for you."

"Punk," Miki said, taking the cup.

He took a sip with a grateful sigh, the caffeine working wonders.

Sunha slid in on Min's left, with Roberto getting on Min's right. They closed their doors at the same time. Shin got them on the road and soon, they were all singing along to the music on the road. Miki laughed when the guys made up the lyrics for the parts they didn't know. General ridiculousness took hold when Min stood up on the backseat, popping his head out the sunroof.

Miki loved that Shin took it in stride, even laughing when Roberto tickled Min back into the car. They reached Yangsu-ri soon after. Heading straight to the inn where Sunha had booked them rooms.

Miki loved the inn at first sight. The Butterfly Inn was owned by a nice granny in her late sixties and had four rooms. It offered a homey atmosphere, served two meals, breakfast and dinner, and boasted a beautiful garden full of flowers.

Inside at check-in, Sunha talked to the young lady running the reception desk. Miki guessed she was related to the granny. When Sunha frowned and came back carrying two keys, Miki wondered if their impromptu additions had ruined their plans.

"Okay guys, we have two rooms. One room has three beds, the other two. Roberto,--

"Miki and I will share a room," Shin said before Sunha could finish.

Sunha smiled, glad the problem was solved, he handed Shin the key all this without Miki or Min's input.

"Hey," Miki started, but then Shin was already following the receptionist who was leading them upstairs.

"This is awesome," Min was telling Roberto. "I haven't been on a road trip since I went with my mum. But that was years ago."

"Min, do you want to room with Shin?" Miki asked as they went up the stairs. "He's your brother—

"It's fine," Min smiled at him. "We see each other daily. It will be a holiday to hang out with Sunha and Roberto this weekend."

Miki nodded, reaching out to mess up the top of Min's hair. Min swiped at his hand and he laughed. Going up the stairs, he found Shin had already opened their door.

"Guys, let's meet outside in ten minutes," Sunha said into their room. "I need to be at the site in thirty."

Miki nodded and Sunha closed the door. It was interesting being in the same room with Shin. Both a torture and a pleasure, he thought dropping his bag on the bed closest to him. Shin was standing by the windows and had chosen the bed there.

"Do you want to exchange places with Min?" Shin asked, not looking at him. His hands in his pockets.

Miki sat on the bed. Truth was, he'd only offered because he felt Min took priority.

"I thought he might like to spend time with you."

"We live together. Don't you think we've been spending enough time together?" Shin asked turning to look at him.

Miki shrugged. "He's your brother, Shin."

"Step-brother," Shin answered. "One I didn't know existed before last year."

"That doesn't make him any less your brother," Miki said.

"You make it sound so easy." Shin leaned against the windows. "Are you always so positive?"

"Not always," Miki said with a small smile. "Especially when you point out I've been drooling."

Shin returned his smile.

"I thought you looked cute drooling away in your sleep," Shin said. "Can't forget the snoring."

"I don't snore," Miki scowled at him. "Stop teasing me."

"I like teasing you, Miki."

Miki chuckled and stretched his arms above his head.

"Well, as long as you don't mind me doing it right back."

"I don't mind at all," Shin answered, removing his hoodie.

That answer was enough to set Miki's heart fluttering again, so he got up and went to the bathroom to escape Shin's effortless charm.

Ten minutes later, as Sunha had asked, they were all back in the car headed to Dumulmeori park. The moment Shin parked the car, Sunha headed out with Roberto and Min to find a suitable place for the wedding photos.

Miki came out of the car much more slower, holding his camera. He waited for Shin to lock the car. Then with mutual understanding, the exploration started. Shin walked beside him in the art gallery. Miki took a few photos, sneaking one of Shin staring at art on the wall looking bored. They left the gallery, and headed to the river. Shin perked up when he saw artists working on sketching fellow visitors to the gardens.

Miki wanted to protest sitting down to have someone sketch him, but then Shin sat next to him, and he decided he could stand the twenty minutes of staying still. Shin had his arm over Miki's shoulder. As always, having the man so close had his heart skipping a thousand miles a minute. By the time the sketch artist was done, Miki wondered if the man had captured the beads of sweat that had surely appeared on his forehead.

One glance at the sketch, Miki wondered if the man doing the drawing had good eyesight. There were no sweat beads on his forehead, and he looked as though he were smiling like a silly idiot. Shaking his head, he watched Shin pay the man, and to his eternal surprise, Shin took the portrait from him.

"What are you going to do with it?" Miki asked.

"Keep it," Shin said as though that was a given.

"Come on, that doesn't even look like me."

"It surely does, down to the silly smile."

Miki gaped.

Shin kept walking and Miki had to run to keep up with him. Irritated about Shin keeping the ridiculous sketch of him at what he considered his worst, he almost missed taking photos of the river. Shin stopped at the river bank, crouching on the rocks, staring down into the river. Miki took pictures of Shin, then the river, then back to Shin, as though he couldn't ignore the gorgeous man. Shin glanced at him, and he captured Shin's questioning frown.

"Should we continue?" Shin asked. "If we keep following the paths, we'll end up at a bridge leading to Saemiwon garden. There is a water fountain made of Hagari there. I think you'll love it." (Korean Pottery Jars)

Miki glanced back hoping Sunha would stay busy all day. He turned to Shin and nodded in agreement. Frankly, Miki was sure he would go anywhere Shin suggested without protest. This should have worried him, but it brought him a strange sense of adventure.

Needless to say, they spent the rest of the day exploring the vast gardens, ending up at the entrancing water fountain made up of pottery jars. They walked along stone paths in the middle of gigantic lotus fields. But the most exciting spot for him was walking along the bridge linking Saemiwon garden to Dumulmeori garden. It was made up of old wooden boats, and he stood staring at them over the rail, until Shin wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him back.

"If you fall over, I'll have to jump into that murky water to find you," Shin said when he glanced at him in question. "I would hate to lose you, Miki."

"Lose me?" Miki asked.

"Yes." Shin smiled, leaning on the rail too.

"Like a coin?" Miki asked.

"No."

"Like what?"

"What are you fishing for?"

Miki swallowed, and dropped his gaze to the camera hanging on his neck. He hoped...gods he dared to hope that Shin would like him more than...

"I—," Miki started then stopped, afraid.

Fear crept up on him. He wondered what would happen if he blurted out that he liked Shin. If he leaned in and kissed Shin's jaw as he'd wanted to do for weeks now. Would he ruin the weekend? It didn't help that they were sharing a room. Miki didn't want to make their stay here awkward, but...he was tempted beyond his limits.

It was no longer enough to watch Shin from a far. He wanted more. Wanted Shin to see him as more than a friend.

"Miki," Shin's deep voice dragged him back to the present.

Miki met dark eyes and inhaled sharply.

"I like you," Shin stated, his gaze enough to let Miki know exactly what Shin meant with those simple words.

"Li...like me?" Miki repeated.

"Do you find that strange?" Shin asked, his tone low, unsure. His gaze slid away from Miki to look at the river surrounding them. "Of course you must. A guy liking another guy, that must be weird." Shin gave a small sigh. "I don't expect anything back, and you can ignore this, call it madness or whatever, but...I needed you to know because—

"I like you too," Miki blurted out, interrupting Shin's speech. He exhaled in relief, and grinned. "I like you, Shin."

Shin turned to face him, a wide smile gracing his lips.

"Do you mean that?" Shin asked, a tinge of worry in his tone.

Had Shin worried the same way he had?

Miki nodded.

Shin's smile widened and he placed his right hand on Miki's shoulder.

"Really?" Shin asked, his gaze searching.

"Really," Miki answered.

Shin studied him for a moment, then he stepped closer and pulled Miki into a tight hug. Wrapping his arms around Miki's shoulders. Miki bit his lower lip overwhelmed by the warmth of Shin surrounding him.

Miki closed his eyes and pressed his ear against Shin's chest, listening to Shin's heartbeat. It was fast. The beat racing, like his raced when he was close to Shin. The sound of it soothed him, made his own heartbeat settle.

"That's a relief," Shin whispered pressing his cheek on the top of Miki's head. "You've made me happy, Miki."

"You made me happy too," Miki confessed as Shin let go of him and took a step back. "I was afraid I was alone."

"You're not alone anymore, Miki."

Shin took Miki's left hand with his right, holding it tight.

Miki knew then that he would never forget the feel of Shin's warm fingers holding his. The feeling so new, yet so right it felt like they had always held hands. He loved that Shin didn't care what anyone thought. He loved it even more when Shin brushed his lips on his forehead. They turned back the way they had come. The scenery felt different this time. Each stop they made turned into a precious memory, like pictures in a photo book. Miki held it in, this new feeling of having Shin care for him.

He watched Shin take pictures with his phone, and then with Miki's camera. Shin took photos of them together, teasing Miki until all he did was laugh with each snapshot. Miki didn't care and laughed, so insanely happy that Shin still held his hand and walked alongside him.

It was evening by the time they got back to the parking lot where they had started. Miki's feet ached from walking so much, but he didn't regret it. Instead, his brain was preoccupied with Shin's smiles, Shin's jokes, Shin hugging him...he was choke full of unforgettable moments.

Sunha, Roberto and Min were seated on benches near the parking lot eating hotdogs. Their gazes rested on them, and Min waved at them. Miki started to pull his hand out of Shin's hold, but the man wouldn't let him, instead tangling their fingers. Miki felt his face flush with heat, wondering if his friends would ask questions. Wonder why Shin held his hand so tight.

What about Min?

Min stood up from the bench when they reached them and held out two sausages in greeting.

"Figured you guys were hungry," Min said with a grin. "Miki, did you enjoy Saemiwon garden?"

"How did you know that was where we went?" Miki asked, taking his hotdog.

"Shin mentioned it last night after you went to bed. He wanted to see the fountain with you." Min's gaze rested on their clasped hands. "I figured he'd drag you there whether you wanted to go or not."

Sunha chuckled.

"Are you done?" Shin asked Sunha.

Sunha nodded.

"While you guys were out having fun, I earned my money."

"And I missed my be-a-tourist day," Roberto complained.

"What tourist? You've been here four years. Let's go get drinks," Sunha said. "I'll pay."

"Yes," Min said, first to agree.

"Non-alcoholic drinks for you," Shin said.

"Come on, don't spoil the fun," Sunha said, standing from the bench. "We can get snacks too and have them at the Inn. No driving."

Shin glanced at Miki.

Miki gave him a nod, and Shin sighed.

"One drink for Min then," Shin said.

"Judging from experience he'll only need half a beer," Roberto teased, getting up too.

Two hours later found them back at the inn, lounging in the garden around a bonfire pit. The tables around them were laden with bottles of soju and side dishes. Min turned on music, docking his ipod on speakers he borrowed from the inn office. They danced, ate, made noise, played card games. They were lucky the other guests were out for the night.

Sunha insisted they play 'truth or dare'. Of course, Sunha was spinning the bottle, and asking questions designed to make the hardiest man blush.

"Wait, wait," Sunha ordered when Miki started to get up from the table to go pee mid-game. "You're not running away."

"I need to piss," Miki said, surprised that he could stand. He'd drained five bottles already, more than he had ever drank. His balance was off, but he could walk. Guess he hadn't reached his limits yet. Damn it, he'd hoped to escape the game.

"Water granny's flowers," Roberto said, from his spot on a long bench. He lay stretched out on his back, his head resting on Min's lap.

Min laughed at the suggestion, his head tipped back staring at the sky. "I'm sure she'll appreciate that, Miki."

"Whatever," Miki started to head to the house, but then Shin grabbed his arm and turned him in the direction of the roses.

"Don't get it poked," Shin said.

Miki chuckled.

"I'm going to spin the bottle while you piss," Sunha persisted. "You and Shin are the only ones who haven't answered questions. So don't run yet."

"Whatever," Miki said unzipping his trousers.

Roberto clapped as Sunha's bottle noisily went around on the wooden table.

Miki moaned in relief as he peed in the bushes, finishing in time to hear Min's excited shout.

"Shin is next!"

"Yes, finally," Sunha said with strange satisfaction.

Miki zipped up and wiped his hands on his jeans. He turned around to find Shin reclined on a comfortable couch watching him. His dark eyes alert, Miki thought he looked too sober.

"What do you wanna know?" Shin asked, patting the spot next to him, his gaze never leaving Miki.

"That," Sunha said pointing at them when Miki sat next to Shin.

Shin dropped the arm he had stretched over the back of the couch on Miki's shoulders.

"What's that?" Miki asked, taking the half-full bottle of Soju he'd left on the bottle.

"You two," Sunha said, his tone way too curious. "Miki keeps talking about you every chance he gets, until I've been curious to meet you, Shin. Then on the drive here, Shin, you kept looking at Miki sleep. It was slightly disturbing how obsessed you seem. You have barely left each other's side today. Are you two an item?"

Miki chocked on his drink, leaning forward afraid his beer would come out of his nose. He coughed and wiped his mouth when Shin rubbed his back.

"Yes." Shin answered with conviction.

Miki glanced at him in shock. They barely had whatever this was started.

Were they ready to have everyone know?

Shin gave him a small assuring smile and held out a napkin from the table. Miki took it and wiped his mouth.

"Is it true?" Min asked, drawing Miki's attention.

"Min," Miki started.

"I want to hear it from Shin," Min said.

"What do you want to hear, Min? That I care for Miki more than I dare admit?" Shin asked, taking Miki's right hand. He tangled their fingers tight. "Does it disgust you?"

Min held Shin's gaze.

"Do you think I'm that type of person?" Min asked, his tone full of pain. "Miki, do you see what my big brother thinks of me?"

"I do," Miki said. "Shin loves you, Min. He might not say it, but it's there. He worries about you. He almost kicked me out of the house the day I brought you home drunk."

"You're drunk, Miki," Shin squeezed his fingers. "Stop talking—

"I won't," Miki said, scowling at Shin. "You're in the wrong too. Staying aloof, like a robot. How do you expect Min to know what you're thinking? You two end up misunderstanding each other. It's annoying to watch."

"Okay, stop," Sunha raised his arms in surrender. "We're too drunk for a therapy session. I just wanted to know if you guys are together."

"Yes we're together," Miki answered, pointing his finger at Sunha. "You can stop asking me about getting a girlfriend."

Sunha laughed. "Guess so."

Miki took his bottle of beer and drank a healthy sip. His gaze collided with Min's, and he smiled. When Min simply stared at him, he sighed.

Roberto changed the mood when he stood up and pulled Min up to dance with him. They drifted into the inn, followed by Sunha.

"Finally," Shin said when they were alone.

Miki finished the bottle of soju, and burped. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and stared at the messy table.

"Miki," Shin said, and he shifted on the couch to look at him.

"Are you upset I told them?"

Miki wanted to say yes, but he knew that was a lie. Instead, he felt relief. Relief that Shin liked him back, which was huge...so huge, he'd barely had time to let it sink in. Because of Shin, he didn't have to worry about his friends leaving him for liking guys or hiding his feelings for Shin. Meeting dark eyes, Miki knew then that deep inside what upset him was the fear that this might be a dream.

"Shin."

"I'm not afraid to have everyone know I care for you, Miki. Unless you're uncomfortable—

"I'm not upset." Miki shifted on the couch until he sat facing Shin. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Making my day today," Miki said.

Shin smiled and Miki reached to trace the curve of Shin's lips. So soft to the touch. He wondered what they'd feel like against his. He lifted his gaze to Shin's and then he wasn't wondering anymore. In a blooming garden, the moonlight high above, in the cool night, Shin kissed him for the first time.

Miki closed his eyes, when soft lips touched his, the kiss was gentle. His first ever, it sent warmth racing through him, down to his toes. He opened his eyes when Shin pulled back. Their lips inches apart. He craved more, felt as though he needed to memorize the taste of Shin. The feel of him. He exhaled when Shin smiled and tilted his head again. This time their kiss was mutual; needy, full. Miki moaned when Shin wrapped his arms around him, molding him close.

Miki wrapped his own arms around Shin's neck, opening his mouth as Shin swept in, taking. Fanning a burning need, so feverish, his cock hardened, and turned sensitive he worried he'd ruin his jeans. He started to pull back, breathless but Shin tightened his hold on him. Breaking their kiss, Shin trailed kisses along his jaw, to his neck, then Shin licked a sensitive spot at the curve of his neck, tracing it with his tongue. A harsh gasp escaped when Shin bit that spot hard, triggering a burst of unbearable pleasure sweeping through him. Miki bunched Shin's t-shirt, burying his face into Shin's shoulder, a moan on his lips, he came hard, his body shuddering under the hot force of it.

Panting for air in the aftermath, Miki felt mortified at the clear mess in his pants.

"You burn hot," Shin murmured in his ear stroking Miki's back, his tone warm. "It's sexy, baby."

Miki groaned, refusing to lift his face from Shin's shoulder.

"I'm a mess."

"My mess," Shin answered. "You're beautiful, Miki."

Shin's words, Shin's touch, Shin's kisses...Miki lost himself in Shin for the rest of the night. They made it back to their room, Miki remembered feeling eager, caught on the edge, excitement racing through his veins. They took a shower together, then Shin blew his mind when he decided to kiss every inch of him. Immersed in the feel of Shin's lips trailing on his heated skin, cool and maddening, until Miki balanced on a fine edge of pleasure and Shin was the only person in the world. He came twice. Then his fingers were bunching the sheets as Shin entered him with one hard stroke of his hard length. Unbearable pain, eased by Shin's heated hands stroking his back, then Shin moved deep inside him and pleasure followed. They came together in a frenzied union, reaching the end with harsh cries, afterwards clinging to each other until they fell asleep.

As dawn crept in the next morning, Miki woke up first and shifted to watch the sky change through the wide windows. They'd not closed the curtains the night before. Shin lay behind him, one arm tight around Miki, their feet tangled under the covers. Miki never wanted to move from the bed.

All his life he'd fulfilled other people's wishes, well, mostly his parents' dreams.

It was amazing to discover the only wish he wanted right this second was to be able to keep Shin.

He would surely be content with a lifetime of waking up beside Shin like this.

***

...Unexpectedly,

I found my Soul in Seoul...

It took no time at all, when you became mine.

***

Part 6: Loving the Rain, A Birthday, and Park Shin's Heart.

It took no time at all for the word like to change into love.

Miki wondered if he had even known the difference. His feelings for Shin were an entity growing too fast even he couldn't keep up. Maybe it was because they lived together. There was no distance to tamp their desire, nothing to hold them back, or keep them apart.

"Mr. Hayashi."

Miki looked up from his paper to find his professor standing by his desk.

He stopped twirling his pen and focused on his paper. Thankfully, he'd finished writing down his thoughts on entrepreneurship in Korea ten minutes ago.

"If you're done with your paper, you can turn it in and leave. You're daydreaming in my class," Mr. Kim said, his tone bereft of amusement.

Miki handed over his paper with an apologetic smile. Taking his book bag, he got up and waved at Roberto and Sunha who were hiding laughs. Punks, it would probably take them the next fifteen minutes to complete their papers. He stuck his tongue out at them and left the room.

Mr. Kim's class was his last. He walked along the main corridor heading to the library to drop off two books he'd borrowed. He left the library thirty minutes later after borrowing three more books, and was headed downstairs when his phone buzzed. His lips curved into a smile when he saw the message from Shin.

"Come to room C304."

Miki changed direction heading to the Communications department. He'd discovered Shin's major was **communications and technology. Shin wanted to become a director, had made three documentaries already that had been bought by two major broadcasting companies. Miki found room C304, pausing at the door to let three guys pass carrying equipment.

When he entered, he found Shin leaning on the wall, watching a video on a handheld camera. There weren't any other students in the room, so Miki dropped his bag and books on the closest chair. He walked around the room to where Shin stood, and leaned on the wall beside him.

"Hey," Shin said, not lifting his head. "Are you done with your test?"

"A while back," he said, leaning his head on Shin's shoulder so that he too could watch the video. He watched a young woman dance ballet on a lighted stage. She looked beautiful in a white dress, her feet in white stockings and pink ballet slippers.

"What's this?" Miki asked.

Shin fast forwarded the video, then stopped it. When the video started playing again, Miki frowned at the young woman dressed in baggy clothes, walking into a very small house on top of a building. She was greeted by three children and an older woman who lay on a bed in the small house.

"She's struggling to support her family," Shin said. "She works three jobs, and only gets two hours of practice in the theatre in our department. Last week, the school gave her a notice. If she can't pay the fee, she won't be allowed to practice anymore. So, I asked her to let me do a short documentary on her life for my project."

"How much are you paying her?" Miki asked, forgetting the woman in the video. His gaze on Shin.

"I cleared her theatre fees." Shin glanced at him when he didn't say anything. "What?"

"You," Miki said, his heart melting at Shin's beautiful heart. "You can't help the whole world."

"She's one woman," Shin said, with a small shrug. "I could afford it, and she couldn't, so I helped."

"If five more women bring you their pitiful stories, are you going to help them too?"

Shin met his gaze and shrugged. Miki sighed and reached up to rub Shin's shaggy head. His boyfriend had a soft spot for suffering people.

"Stop looking at me that way," Shin said, turning off the video.

"Why do you only show me this side of you?" Miki asked, when Shin moved to stow away his camera.

Shin shrugged, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He turned to Miki, pressing him against the wall, and kissed his jaw.

"You're special to me," Shin murmured into his ear. "I've missed you."

Miki wrapped his arms around Shin's waist.

"We saw each other at lunchtime."

"And it has been two hours since lunch," Shin smiled, sweeping his fingers through Miki's hair. "That's two hours I haven't seen you look at me like I own the world. Two hours I haven't seen you smile, or kissed you."

"Such honey-sweet words, I know what you want from me," Miki teased with a laugh.

"Do you?" Shin asked, leaning close to kiss the corner of his lips. "Wanna do it right here?"

"No," Miki bunched his fingers on Shin's t-shirt and tried to pull him back without success.

"Why not?" Shin asked pressing his weight against Miki, holding him in place.

"Think of it as me protecting you," Miki said, tilting his head back so that he met Shin's amused gaze. "You still need to graduate from this place, Shin."

Shin sighed and stole a quick kiss that had Miki closing his eyes.

"Looks like I'll have to wait until we get home," Shin said, stepping back. He took Miki's hand and pulled him away from the wall. "I'm hungry."

Shin led him to the table where his bag was. Miki took his books while Shin grabbed up Miki's bag and carried it with his over his shoulder.

"Spicy or Sweet?" Miki asked, once they were in the corridor headed to the exit.

"Spicy," Shin said with a grin.

"Not too spicy," Miki complained, remembering the last time they'd gone out to eat. He was afraid his stomach lining would burn away.

"Mild spicy for you," Shin adjusted with a wicked grin.

Outside, they headed to Shin's car. Shin drove into traffic minutes later headed to Itaewon. Miki folding his legs in his seat as he fiddled with the radio. Once he found a good rock station, he left it on and smiled when Shin's fingers tapped on the steering wheel to the beat.

They drove in silence, then when they crossed into Itaewon, the raindrops came. Big, fat drops that cooled the heat of the day. Shin stopped the car on their street, pulling over to the curb.

"I was going to take you to Ajumah's place. You like her chicken," Shin said. "Is it better to eat in the coffee shop? I don't want you to catch a cold."

Ajumah's Restaurant was a small place two alleys away. It was always better to walk there. Miki glanced out at the rain, glad to see it wasn't a heavy rain, more like a light drizzle. He checked the side of his door and sure enough a black umbrella was lodged in there. Pulling it out, he held it up to Shin.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Miki asked.

Shin grinned and turned off the engine. He got out of the car and Miki did too, opening the umbrella just as Shin reached him. He handed over the handle to Shin who was taller. Making sure the car was locked, they started walking up the street. The rain had sent everyone running for shelter. Shin wrapped his right arm over Miki's shoulders, pulling him close. The umbrella held low kept the rain away.

"Today, during my test, Professor Kim caught me daydreaming, and..."

Miki told Shin about his afternoon adventures. Their footsteps matched as they made their way to the restaurant. Shin laughed with him. They talked about Roberto and Sunha, about Shin's documentary; their conversation thoroughly wrapping them in their own little world, they didn't notice the rain. Miki found himself hoping that it would rain every day after that, because he loved how Shin held him close, making sure the umbrella covered him. At the restaurant, Miki paused to wipe water off Shin's left shoulder where Shin had neglected to cover, and wondered how his heart would ever manage the intensity of this love...this growing love that was already overflowing for Shin.

A week after their walk in the rain, on Saturday morning, Miki came out of Shin's bedroom carrying his laundry basket. Shin was at the kitchen table writing out his list of chores.

"Why do you always leave us to clean up?" Miki asked, placing his laundry basket on the floor. "You don't help."

"Because I keep up with the cleaning the rest of the week," Shin said.

"Bullshit," Miki complained. "When do you vacuum? I'm with you—

"You leave to go to class early, followed by Min," Shin said, glancing at him. "Who do you think cleans up the dishes and straightens up the house after."

"A visiting fox," Min answered, coming out of his room with a yawn.

"Don't be cheeky," Shin said, frowning at Min.

"Still," Miki moved to stand beside Shin so that he could read the list. "Look at this, brush the couch cushions, scrub the balcony, I'm worried you're going to add sweeping the roof on here one of these days. Min and I need a Saturday off."

"Then who will do the chores then?" Shin asked.

"You," Min answered, resting his head on the table. "Miki, I'm hungry. I want an omelet."

"Make it yourself," Shin said.

Miki ignored Shin's comment and went to the fridge.

"Don't change the subject, why don't we exchange? Min and I will clean up during the week, and you take over that ridiculous list this weekend."

Min lifted his head, his gaze wide with hope.

"Are you going to get to school late or wake up earlier?" Shin asked.

"We'll figure it out," Miki answered, taking out eggs from the fridge. He placed them on the counter. "Shin—

"Do you hate doing this list that much?" Shin asked, pushing the list away. "Is that it, Miki? Do you want us to stop cleaning up and live in the dust?"

"That's not what I mean," Miki braced his hands on the table. "I'm saying that you go overboard sometimes. The place doesn't need to look perfect, Shin. We don't mind a little dust—

"Well I do," Shin stated. "I mind it a lot. What now? Do you want me to take it on alone? Will that work for you?"

"We are not refusing to do the chores."

"That's not what I'm getting from this," Shin argued.

"No, you are just being an asshole," Miki said, resenting the fact that Shin didn't even want to hear his side. "We haven't refused to do the chores. We do them every time you list them. I'm asking you to consider the fact that we need a break from time to time. Do you understand that?"

"When we went out of town, did I insist you do them?" Shin glared at him. "That was a break."

"One break in weeks," Miki pointed out, suddenly angry that this was turning into an argument. He'd meant to only joke with Shin about the darned chores, but instead Shin had decided to turn them into an issue. Fine then, he wasn't backing down. "What if Miki and I want to go to an amusement park? Huh? What then?"

"Have you told me that you want to go to an amusement park?" Shin asked.

"That's not the point, is it?" Miki glared at Shin for a moment, then turned to the cupboards to find a frying pan.

Shin sat at the table staring at him, Miki could feel those eyes digging daggers into his back. Taking a bowl, he cracked two eggs into it, and cursed when the third egg crashed and shell pieces fell in.

"Hojun," Min's voice filled the deadly silence that followed. Miki turned to see Min talking into his phone. "Come quickly, Hyung is fighting with his wife."

"I am not his wife," Miki snapped, grabbing a green bell pepper from the veggie basket. He dumped it in the sink followed by a red one.

"Might as well be," Min murmured under his breath, placing his phone on the table.

"Do you want me to make you an omelet or not?"

"I'm sorry," Min said, his gaze contrite.

Miki wondered why he had ended up living with two of the most impossible creatures in the world. He chopped bell peppers, onions, and cilantro fast. He grated ginger root and crashed garlic. Cooking two omelets as fast as he could. He placed both plates on the table, one for Min and the other for Shin. Ignoring his boyfriend, Miki wiped his hands on a dish cloth and left the kitchen without saying another word. Taking his laundry basket, he left the house and went downstairs headed to the laundry room behind the building.

***

"My wife," Shin scoffed staring at the omelet on his plate. "Do you want him to run away from us?"

Min chuckled, getting up to find forks. He handed one to Shin and returned to his spot to eat his omelet.

"Who told you to write a list of chores a mile long?" Min asked. "You could accept Hojun's offer to get a cleaning service."

Shin sighed, poking at his omelet. A laugh escaped when he saw an egg shell. Miki's temper was frightening.

"Better eat it," Min challenged with a smirk.

"God, I love him," Shin said, removing the egg shell. He cut out a small bite, and ate the omelet. Miki was a great cook.

"Now what?" Min asked, when they both finished eating.

Shin took their plates and went to the sink to clean up. He cleared the mess Miki had made while making the omelets.

"Now we make up," Shin said, when he was done with clean up.

"Yeah right," Min sighed, taking up the list of chores. "Throw this out."

"No way," Shin shook his head.

"Let me give you a clue, it will be a plus for you if you let Hojun sort this list," Min advised. "I like you with Miki around, don't fuck it up."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Before Miki walked in here, you'd never sit at this table to eat with me. Or even cared that I ate breakfast in the morning," Min scoffed. "We could go a week without seeing each other, even though we live in the same house. Do you know how dysfunctional that is? Miki has fixed us."

Shin stared at his half-brother. Hojun chose that moment to walk into the house, carrying grocery bags, his hair disheveled as though he'd been running.

"Please don't tell me you're fighting," Hojun said in greeting.

"No." Shin grabbed the list he was making out of Min's hand.

"Where is Miki?" Hojun asked, placing the grocery bags on the kitchen table. He looked around, with a frown. "Please don't tell me you kicked him out."

Min went to the coffee pot to get a mug full.

"No, Shin argued with him over the chores."

"Come on," Hojun sighed. "Shin, the crew that cleans the offices in the coffee shop is supposed to clean up here too. Will you stop being stubborn and allow them to do their jobs?"

"He has Miki doing those chores—

"Fine," Shin gave into Hojun, balling the list and throwing it into the trash.

Hojun gaped.

"What has happened to you? And who is Min calling your wife?"

"Miki," Min answered, sipping coffee with a small happy sigh.

"Huh?" Hojun frowned.

Shin took the mug from Min and drank the too sweet coffee. Min liked his sugar.

"If you don't like the bitterness, stop drinking the coffee," Shin said.

"That's my coffee, I'll drink it however I want." Min took back the mug and leaned on the counter.

Shin blinked when he had the sound of a camera flashing. Turning to Hojun, he found the man taking photos of them with his phone.

"I'm sending your father pictures," Hojun smiled. "He won't believe me otherwise."

Shin scowled. "Why did you come again?"

"I was on the way, even without Min calling me. Today is Min's birthday." Hojun announced. "I thought it would be nice if we made a nice lunch, then maybe get a cake from the coffee shop."

Shin turned to Min. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"You've never asked before," Min answered, his tone low, sad.

"Min." Shin stared at the sixteen year old boy feeling like a bastard. "I'm sorry I didn't know it was your birthday. I'd have made you seaweed soup."

"You still can," Hojun said, touching the grocery bags he brought. "I have the ingredients. Where is Miki?"

"I wasn't kidding about the fight," Min said. "Shin annoyed him, now he's downstairs doing laundry."

"What did you say?" Hojun demanded of Shin. "Go fix it."

Shin messed up Min's hair and laughed when Min tilted his head away.

"Fine, I'll go find my Miki. Wouldn't want him choosing to move in to the coffee house over chores."

Shin winked at Min and turned to leave. He was at the door when he heard Hojun ask.

"What's happened with our Shin? He's acting like a human."

Human, interesting word to use, Shin thought as he went downstairs.

The sun was shining today. It was a perfect day to visit the park, or even go out exploring. Miki loved walking the streets, most times dragging Shin along with him when he could. Sometimes they took pictures, other times they bought street food, or they sat on benches in parks and talked for hours.

Those hours in parks were his most favorite, Shin thought.

Miki's desire to live as hard as he could fueled Shin, pulling him out of the deep dark hole he'd lived in the past year and a half.

Watching his mother's world crumble into bits hadn't been easy. One second they were happy, visiting the coffee shop together, teasing his dad when the employees insisted he pay for their meals. Shin had loved that his parents thought the loft above the coffee shop was perfect for him. Even giving him the keys so that he could use the loft when he wanted to study in quiet. Shin had thought his parents wanted to spend time alone and been tickled by the idea.

Then a fifteen-year-old boy came to their home, and stood in their living room claiming he was a Park.

Shin's mother had collapsed in a dead faint.

Shin paused at the bottom of the stairs, his gaze on a woman walking her dog down the street. His mother had liked to go on walks too. She would take him when he was free, and they would end up stopping to pet the neighborhood dogs. His mother loved dogs, but his father was allergic so they couldn't keep one. To compensate for this sacrifice, Shin's mother showered all the neighborhood dogs with affection and praises.

Shin called it her obsession.

She would laugh and say that her true obsession was him. She'd tell him how much she loved him. How much she treasured him.

Until that moment when Min had stood in the living room at the Park Household claiming to be a Park too.

Park Haesoo fainted in shock and when she woke up, her heart had been too damaged to ever mend again. Broken into fine pieces that not even her precious son could put together. One morning, Shin woke up to find his mother packed. She kissed him, hugged him, promised to call and promptly got into a cab headed to the airport.

She left him alone to deal with the new family member.

His father's solution to the mess he created was to move Min into the loft Shin used as an escape. His father insisted Shin and Min were brothers, and should therefore learn to live with each other.

Devastated, Shin devoted his time to school, unable to reconcile the fact that his father would betray his mother. Fifteen years was a long time to hide a secret, especially a living, breathing one. A secret that now lived with Shin, ate food in a kitchen his mother decorated, sat in a living room his mother designed. The dark hole got wider, and deeper, until Shin felt like he too was drowning in the endless pit.

It didn't help that his mother had gone to New York and kept her silence. The only communication she sent him was an email every two weeks.

Then Miki arrived, right as it was getting unbearable, his smile wide, his excitement filling every corner of the loft.

Shin couldn't help but be drawn to Miki's light. How easily Miki laughed, how he teased Min, and treated him like a little brother. Shin had been jealous that first day when Miki shared his chicken with Min, wanting Miki's attention, he claimed the last piece for himself.

Of course, there was the list of chores.

Well, truthfully, the list of chores was a bit childish. He'd been annoyed by Hojun's need to paint him a great big ogre with Min. Yes, he found it extremely difficult to talk to Min, it even drove him nuts to see Min walking around his loft. After all, Min was the reason his family was no longer happy. The reason why his mother only sent him emails with one line that said, 'Take care of yourself'.

Why couldn't Hojun understand that?

So, yes, he snapped a little when Min left shit lying around. The damn loft needed to stay clean, so he made a list. A list that grew every time he found Min had finished each chore without one complaint.

Of course, Shin hadn't counted on Miki taking on the list as well.

Shin had wanted to stop writing the list then, but then Miki and Min bonded over the darned chores. His annoyance grew at their apparent friendship, and with that, the list grew too. Thinking about it now, he deserved Miki's anger.

Oh Miki, Shin sighed.

Miki with his dark, silky hair cut to frame his face in the most delectable of ways. Miki's brown eyes that turned liquid brown when he was happy, deep brown when he was angry or emotional. His pink lips succulent and soft, not to mention delicious to taste.

Shin touched his own thinking of their kisses. There were nights he kissed Miki until they were both out of breath and even then, he only gave them both a half-second to recover. Gods, there was nothing like watching Miki ignite with passion, Miki was so responsive, his heat burned Shin to a crisp. He loved losing himself in Miki's body, enjoying their combined heat, taking in Miki's throaty moans of ecstasy as he drove him higher and higher. Loved it most when they came together, their hearts beating fast, bound together as though one.

Miki raised him out of the dark hole, took him into blinding light, dragging him out without leaving him a choice. There were nights Shin lay watching Miki sleep on his bed, and wondered how they'd ever lived apart. Wished that Miki would stay in Seoul for the rest of his life and not return to Tokyo.

Shin wiped a hand down his face.

He had almost gone crazy when Miki flew out in the middle of April to go see his family for two days. Two days apart, separated by an ocean, had been too much. Shin showed up at the airport two hours early on the day of Miki's return. Eager to see Miki the moment he got off the plane.

Now, they were in mid-June, the year moving faster than they both imagined. They didn't have time to waste on petty fights over chores. Miki's year in Seoul would end in November. Miki needed to return to finish his third year at Tokyo University. His very smart boyfriend wanted to graduate by the end of 2017. Thinking about it made Shin break out in a cold sweat. He didn't know how he was going to live without Miki once he was gone. Preferred not to think about it.

Shin got up from the stairs and practically ran to the back of the building. The laundry room door was open. He entered and stopped when he saw Miki seated on top of a counter against the wall.

"Took you long enough," Miki said in greeting.

"I'm sorry."

"The fight was stupid." Miki folded his arms against his chest.

"You have every right to be annoyed with that list," Shin said, taking a step closer, though he stopped a few feet away from Miki. "I talked to Hojun. Asked him to sort it out."

"Why?"

"Because you are right," Shin said. "You shouldn't have to worry about chores. If you want to go to an amusement park with Min, I'll take you—"

"Why did you write that list?" Miki asked, interrupting his tirade. "I don't care about doing the chores. I just wondered why you needed to write that stupid list every Saturday morning. It annoyed me you didn't even stay to help out."

"I—," Shin started and stopped.

"Is it because of Min?" Miki asked. "Some sort of punishment?"

Shin was not amused that Miki could read him so clearly.

"Shin."

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"Yes, it does." Miki jumped off the counter and came to stand before him. "I don't know what's between you and Min, but you need to find a way to live with it. Otherwise, it will destroy you both."

"Min and I," Shin started, then stopped when Miki cupped his jaw. "There's a lot of baggage between us."

"We all have baggage," Miki said with a small smile. "You gotta drop it otherwise it will drag you down."

"Why are you an expert?" Shin asked, stepping closer so that he could pull Miki into his arms.

"I'm not," Miki answered, resting his head on Shin's shoulder. "I was worried we'd fight all day. I was determined not to talk to you if you didn't come looking for me."

"Because Min called you my wife?"

Miki bit Shin's shoulder through his t-shirt and he yelped, stepping back.

"Jeez, okay," Shin rubbed the spot lifting his t-shirt to check whether Miki had broken skin. "You're vicious when you choose, Hayashi."

"Truce?" Miki offered going to the finished washing machine. He changed the cycle to drying and turned to look at Shin, his brow raised.

"Truce," Shin said. "I've thrown out the list. You never have to see it again."

"Thank you," Miki smiled.

"Today is Min's birthday," Shin said then, unable to hide the pain lingering deep inside. He wondered what his mother would say about him celebrating Min's birthday.

"My mother bakes rice cakes for our birthdays," Miki said, coming to him.

"Mine made seaweed soup, and a big dinner in the evening. She'd get a birthday cake from the coffee house full of strawberries."

"Then we should go in there and order one. Then you can show me how to make seaweed soup," Miki suggested.

"I—," Shin broke off, looking around the laundry room at a loss. "Miki, do you think I'm betraying my mother by accepting Min this way?"

"Why would you say that?" Miki asked.

Shin sighed.

"Min's mother was my father's mistress. My mother didn't find out the truth until a year ago after Min's mum died. My mum couldn't take it. She was so hurt by my father's betrayal, she left the country, Miki. Now, Min is living with me and here I am...," Shin broke off, shaking his head. "What's right, Miki?"

Miki exhaled.

"Consider Min's point of view," Miki said, in a gentle tone. "You're his big brother, one he didn't know existed until his mother died. Can you imagine the shock?"

Shin frowned then because he'd never once considered their story from Min's side.

"His mother is gone," Miki shrugged. "I imagine he's not too close with your father. You've suddenly become the closest thing to a family he has. I imagine it must be hard for him to celebrate his birthday with you too."

"But—," Shin shook his head thinking of his mother.

"Min didn't choose his parents," Miki said, stroking Shin's jaw. "He's innocent in this too, Shin. Nothing can change the fact that he is your brother."

Shin rested his forehead on Miki's. "You're right."

"Besides," Miki said, giving Shin a soft kiss on his lips. "Loving Min doesn't take away from your love for your mum."

"Who said anything about love?" Shin asked, wrapping his arms around Miki.

Miki laughed.

"You care about that grouchy teenager."

"Maybe," Shin said, studying Miki's handsome face. Goodness, sometimes Shin felt that Miki existed to belong to him, and only him. "The only thing I know right now is that I love you, Miki."

"Shin."

"I love you."

Miki's lips curved into a mind-boggling smile, one that Shin felt needed to be tasted. So he leaned to kiss Miki, covering soft lips with his. Big mistake, because one taste always led to wanting more. They were in the laundry room, the staff from the coffee house came in and out at will. Shin groaned as he broke their kiss with a sigh.

Miki's eyes were closed, his arms tight around Shin's shoulders.

"I love you too, Shin," Miki murmured.

Simple words, such simple precious words...Shin held Miki and he knew then, that Hayashi Miki owned him: heart and soul.

That evening, seated at the sunken living room, a white cake decorated with red strawberries sat in the middle of the coffee table. Shin sat on the floor, Miki beside him, across them was Hojun and a grinning Min. They sang happy birthday and watched Min blow out the two candles Miki had convinced the coffee house staff to give them.

When Min cut the cake, he gave the first piece to Shin. Shin took the offered piece with a small smile, and for the first time, felt no anger flooding him when he saw Min's happy face. This was right. It felt right, Shin thought, like a family had formed.

***

Part 7: A Garden Party at the Park Household and Shin's Mom

June ended, July came along, each month filled with the joys of summer. Weekend trips away from Seoul, get-togethers with Sunha's family, or Roberto's. On lazy Sundays, Miki, Shin and Min spent the afternoons at home watching soccer, or movies.

Miki loved every second in Seoul.

August rolled in with heat and new classes. Min's school work was getting more involved, he was preparing to sit for the entrance exam into Seoul University. Due to that, Min spent more of his time with books and his study groups, some nights he slept over at his schoolmates' houses.

Shin grinned with pride whenever he heard that Min was studying hard. Like a proud papa, but Miki refrained from pointing it out. Shin would never admit his growing affection for Min.

"He's not going to disappear," Sunha said, pinching Miki's left arm.

"Ouch," Miki rubbed the spot, scowling at Sunha. "Your mutant fingers hurt."

Sunha chuckled and handed him a beer. It was a Saturday night. They had decided to go out to Roberto's favorite underground club. The indie rock band rocking out on stage belonged to the girl Sunha liked, the one from the convenience store. Their music was pretty good, the club was pretty packed and it was only ten o'clock.

"What are you going to do in three months? You two have turned inseparable. How is he going to make it without you?" Sunha asked, watching Shin talk to the owner of the club at the bar counter.

"Aren't you worried about how I'll make it without him?" Miki asked, watching Shin laugh.

"Miki," Sunha touched his arm drawing his attention. "You are those stubborn bastards who would survive if you landed on Mars with only one tank of oxygen."

"That's a ridiculous scenario," Miki shook his head. "Why would I be on Mars with one tank of oxygen. I mean does that even make sense—

"My point is," Sunha interrupted. "You'll be fine in Tokyo. You have this way of shutting out issues, and dealing with what you need to. I mean, look at you, thriving in Seoul as though you lived here all your life. I couldn't tell you apart from a native."

"But it's Shin," Miki said, his tone turning soft even to his ears.

"He's the one who will miss you more," Sunha said. "Maybe you should think of ending it with him—

"Impossible," Miki said, shaking his head, feeling sick even at the thought of never holding Shin.

"Well," Sunha said, his tone made Miki look at him.

"What?" Miki asked, when he saw Sunha staring at him.

"I hadn't seen it, but you two might actually damage each other more than I thought." Sunha sighed and lifted his beer. "Well, whatever happens, at least it will be entertaining."

"We still have time," Miki said.

"Yes," Sunha said, with a smile as Shin started heading toward them.

"What are you guys talking about?" Shin asked, coming to sit next to Miki, placing his arm around Miki's shoulders. "Are you upsetting him, Sunha?"

"Buddha, forbid it," Sunha said, rolling his eyes when Miki laughed. "You too are too much."

"We came here so that you could get your woman back, Sunha," Shin said, settling back on the couch. "She has a good voice."

"She does," Sunha said, his gaze on the woman singing on stage. "It's too bad she chose loving the band over me."

"You forced her to make the choice." Miki pointed out. He drank his beer, settling back against Shin's warmth. "Be a gentleman and talk to her."

"Suri met my mother," Sunha shook his head. "My mother who thinks a good daughter in-law should be a doctor. They crossed swords the moment they met."

Miki chuckled, and Shin sunk his fingers into Miki's hair.

"I guess it now depends on you," Shin said, stroking his fingers through Miki's hair. "What do you want, Sunha? If Suri is the one you like, making her choose between her band and you because of your mum is wrong."

"I only asked her not to talk about her band with my mother. It's not easy you know, fighting a battle between those women. I care for them both." Sunha sighed.

"Sunha," Shin said, getting up from the couch. "If Suri is important to you, act like it. Otherwise, if you don't want Suri, then let it end there. Don't hurt her because she's choosing what she's passionate about."

Shin winked at Sunha and took Miki's beer from him. He tipped the bottle and drank deep, finishing it. Suri's band finished their set, and the DJ took over. Placing the bottle on the table, Shin held out his hand to Miki.

"Dance with me?"

Miki took Shin's hand and they headed to the dance floor. The best part about this club, no one cared what they did. They danced close, laughing when they moved too slow for the people around them and ended up pressed against each other. No hardship, Shin simply held him tighter.

Later, they slipped out of the club, but not before Miki saw Sunha talking to Suri in a corner. Outside, Miki realized he was more drank than he'd thought. He couldn't walk a straight line and Shin had left his car at home.

When Miki tripped a third time, Shin crouched in front of him.

"Get on."

"What are you doing down there?" Miki asked, bending over. His hands braced on his knees.

"I'll carry you."

Miki moved closer, touching Shin's shoulder. "Are you sure you can carry me? You might break your back—

"Miki," Shin said, his tone impatient.

"Alright, okay," Miki said, getting on Shin's back. He wrapped his arms tight around Shin's neck, when Shin got up. "Don't complain if I get too heavy."

Shin adjusted his weight, his hands grasping Miki's thighs tight as he started his walk.

"You'll never get too heavy for me," Shin said.

Shin took slow steps, clearly not eager to get home. Miki rested his chin on Shin's shoulder and listened to him hum a song.

"I should get drunk more often," Miki murmured, when they were close to the house.

"Get drunk only when you're with me," Shin replied.

***

Miki nursed a hangover the next morning. Lying on the couch, with a cushion over his head, he listened to Shin and Min argue over a trigonometry problem in the kitchen. He was ready to explode and yell at them to stop when the door lock buzzed open.

Miki lifted his head, thinking it was Hojun and wondering if he could get Hojun to make him a cure for a hangover. Shin had no idea, and Min was equally clueless. He sat up when he saw an older man walk in, carrying a bag from the coffee shop downstairs.

"Dad," both Min and Shin exclaimed.

Miki got up too, keenly aware of Shin's open bedroom door. Shin's bed was a mess, they'd not gotten the chance to make it. Miki hadn't slept in his own room for months, and they often used his bed to keep their clean laundry. He hoped Mr. Park wouldn't get curious about their sleeping habits.

Then again, not many parents were like his mother.

"How have you been?" Mr. Park asked, coming into the house with a friendly smile.

He wasn't a tall man, instead short and sturdy. His hair graying at his temple, and his smile was genuine. Dressed in a casual white shirt and pale green slacks, he looked like he was on his way to a golf game.

"Good," Min answered, standing beside his brother.

"You should have called," Shin said. "We would have come to see you instead."

"I wanted to see how you were getting along," Mr. Park said. "And to meet Mr. Hayashi."

Miki wiped a hand down his face hoping his eyes weren't bloodshot. He ran fingers through his hair to try to tame it. This was such a disaster. His first time meeting Shin's father and he was in an old swimming team t-shirt and pajama pants.

Perfect.

Min took the bag of food from Mr. Park and Miki climbed out of the living area to go greet the man formally. Up close, Miki noted that Shin had his father's eyes, and his smile.

Giving the man a short bow, he introduced himself.

"I'm Hayashi Miki. Thank you for letting me stay here."

Mr. Park extended his right hand in greeting and Miki shook it briefly.

"I'm sure you have had a time and a half adjusting to living with my sons," Mr. Park said, coming closer to pat Miki's shoulder. "Let me know if you need anything at all, Hayashi."

"Yes, Sir." Miki smiled glancing up in time to see Shin wink at him.

Mr. Park moved around him, his gaze taking in the loft. He went to the living area and chose to sit on the couch where Miki had been. Shin followed him, and Miki went to close the door to Shin's bedroom.

"I won't stay long," Mr. Park said, beckoning for Min to join Shin. "I came here to remind you not to miss the Summer Shinjiru Party next week. It will be good for the staff to see my sons there."

Miki noted that Shin stood too still, his fingers clenched into tight fists at his sides. He wanted to move closer and take Shin's hand, but this was not the time.

"Hojun will help you get everything you need. Shin, I'll entrust Min to you, drive him to our house," Mr. Park said, then looking behind Shin, he smiled. "Hayashi, you are welcome as well."

"Thank you, Sir," Miki said.

"Good," Mr. Park stood. "I like what you've done with the place. It looks well lived in. Your mother would be happy, Shin. Well, I'll leave you to it."

"I'll walk you out," Min said, following Mr. Park to the door.

Once the lock buzzed, Shin let out a harsh sigh and sat on the couch. Miki rushed to his side.

"How does he do it?" Shin asked, his head bent, his face buried in his hands. "The way he acts, it's like he doesn't remember my mother."

Miki rubbed Shin's back, hoping to calm him down.

"Baby, what do you mean?"

"My mother started the Summer Shinjiru Party," Shin said, his voice heavy with anger. "She started the tradition, and to kick it off, she'd walk in with my father, and he would make a speech declaring how much he loved her. I don't know that I can watch him get up on that stage without my mother. What will he even say? Everyone in the company knows what he did to her."

"Shin."

"Having Min there will surely cement all their thoughts. It will turn my mother into the woman whose husband cheated," Shin shook his head. "I know you think I'm being hard on Min, but be on my side this time, Miki."

"I'm always on your side." Miki kissed the top of Shin's head.

"It's too hard, thinking of my pitiful mother. She won't even come home, and my father still wants to celebrate."

Miki sighed and glanced up when he heard the door close behind him. Min stood at the entrance, his gaze stricken. Clearly, he'd heard Shin's tirade.

He met Miki's gaze for an instant, then turned and left the loft.

Shin held on to Miki tight so he couldn't go after the boy. Miki wondered how the pain connecting Min and Shin would be healed. If only Shin's mother would return. Surely, if she came back, she would help Shin resolve the anger growing inside him. He closed his eyes and held on to Shin hoping for a small miracle.

Thanks to Mr. Park's visit, the frigid atmosphere returned between the brothers. Min didn't come home after running out that Sunday. He appeared on Monday evening, and locked himself in his room. Miki had to knock and beg him to take his dinner. Shin didn't bother to close the growing gap.

By the end of the week, Miki wanted to slap sense into both of them. Hojun dropped off three summer suits. Miki was touched the man had included him in his shopping thoughts.

Hojun entered the loft late on Friday evening, at eleven o'clock. He found Miki alone in the house. Shin had left early in the morning and hadn't returned. Min was supposedly studying with his friends.

Hojun sat at the island table, and Miki got him a cup of coffee.

"What happened to Shin's mum?" Miki asked Hojun.

"What has Shin told you?" Hojun asked.

"That she flew out to New York and hasn't called him since, though she promised to."

"Yeah," Hojun sighed and sipped his coffee. "I—I have done something, Miki. I don't know whether it will help Shin or hurt him, but his mother made me promise."

"Promise what?" Miki asked, leaning his elbows on the table.

"Haesoo returned around the time you came to stay here. She bought a house in Jeju Island, and wanted time alone."

"Why would you not tell Shin?" Miki demanded. "He's beating himself up every second—

"She made me promise not to tell him." Hojun stared into his coffee. "You have to understand, Miki. This is not easy for her, either."

"What about Shin and Min?" Miki asked. "They're struggling."

"Everyone is struggling."

"Call her," Miki said.

Hojun shook his head. "She won't answer my calls anyway."

"Give me her number."

"You'll end up giving it to Shin." Hojun smiled. "I don't want to break my promise to Haesoo, Miki. She's done a lot for me."

The whole family was stubborn, Miki thought shaking his head.

Stubborn and insane.

"Fine, give me your phone. I'll find her number. You're totally absolved."

Hojun laughed. "And what happens when you call?"

"That's my business," Miki said. "Go to the bathroom and leave your phone on the table if you won't give it to me. I'll steal it from you. Use the one in my room."

"Jeez," Hojun stared at him for a moment, then got his cell phone and handed it to Miki. "There, guess you're the one who knows what's best now."

Miki smiled, happy. He sent Haesoo's contact information to his phone quickly before Hojun changed his mind.

"How is your school work going? Are you keeping up?" Hojun asked, sipping his coffee.

"Yeah, I'm enjoying it," Miki said, giving Hojun back his phone, then checked his to make sure he had gotten Haesoo's number. "My school work has never been a problem. Once again, I end up finishing my classes earlier than anticipated."

"It's the social side that's the problem," Hojun concluded.

Miki glanced up to find Hojun studying him.

"If you had a choice," Hojun said. "Would you move to Seoul?"

Miki frowned.

When he'd been eager to leave Tokyo at the beginning of the year, his life had seemed uneventful. Now, after meeting Roberto, Sunha, Min, Hojun and Shin. Shin most especially...Seoul seemed like where he had truly lived, though his life was in Tokyo.

"I don't know," Miki said. "I haven't thought that far ahead."

But then, maybe he should...Miki thought later when Shin crawled into the bed beside him and pulled him into his arms.

Saturday arrived too soon.

Shin dressed in silence. Min too. They ended up at the table in the kitchen, their expressions matching those found at a funeral wake. Miki hated the ride to the Park Family home the most. He couldn't even invite Sunha and Roberto.

Stuck with the grumpy brothers, he sighed when Shin pulled into his family home.

The Park family home was a modest two-story house with an enchanting backyard filled with flowers. Hidden in a quiet suburban area on the outskirts of Itaewon. The backyard was set up for a party: tables and chairs arrranged in circles. Each one boasting a small tent to offer shade from the sun. There was a main dais where several seats were arranged under a much larger tent. Miki discovered this was where the family was to sit.

When he started moving away to join the general audience, Shin grabbed his hand and stopped him.

"Don't leave me," Shin said.

Miki ended up sitting between Shin and Min. Their silence was deafening. Miki hoped the message he'd written to Park Haesoo would get her to come.

"Min," Miki said, passing a glass of strawberry juice to him. "This tastes really good. Hmm...don't you want to try it."|

"I'm not thirsty," Min said.

"You're not thirsty, you're not hungry." Miki took the glass and drank from it. "You must be inhuman, Park Min. Look at all the food on the table. If you think you'll be getting something like this at home, you're in trouble."

"Stop nagging," Min grumbled.

Miki took a tray filled strawberry cake slices and with a fork placed a slice on Min's plate.

"What's with this party?" Miki asked. "Strawberry theme on everything. Min, you have a sweet tooth, don't you?"

Min shrugged then took the fork Miki held out.

"I'm only eating this because you keep nagging and it's getting embarrassing," Min said with a scowl.

Miki bit back a chuckle and turned to Shin.

"And you? Are you also inhuman? I'm not cooking for anyone when we get home."

"I can cook," Shin said, sitting with his arms folded against his chest.

"Fine. Act that way, you'll be missing more than food," Miki said with a small flash of his smile.

Shin narrowed his gaze, looking at Miki. "What are you threatening to deny me?"

Miki leaned close to Shin so that he could whisper in his ear.

"If you don't stop sulking, I'm not letting you touch me for a week, my love. You know how upset you get when we don't—"

Shin placed his hand on Miki's left thigh under the table. Miki bit his lower lip as Shin's fingers trailed high, dangerously high on his thigh.

"Do you think you can live without me?" Shin asked in a whisper.

Miki groaned, dropping his hand to stop Shin before he disgraced himself, jeez, there was no winning with this one.

"Shin, behave," Miki said, when Shin squeezed his thigh. "I was wrong. Still, can you stop sulking like a big baby? We're already here. Let's try and make the most of this party."

Shin looked around the busy garden, then turned to him and blew in to his ear. Miki bit his lower lip hard to keep from moaning.

"Should we go into the house?" Shin asked. "I know every secret place where you won't be heard when you scream."

Miki got a strawberry cookie from a plate and stuffed it into Shin's mouth.

Shin laughed, reaching up to make sure he didn't choke on the cookie.

"Find a room," Min grumbled.

The afternoon passed that way.

Miki working hard to get the two brothers to talk, and eat, even interact with each other. At some point, he went in search of the men's room. He was on his way back to their table when the commotion started.

Guests spoke in whispers, and Miki had to fight his way through to get to the main tent. Dodging a waiter carrying dirty plates, he stopped when he saw an elegant woman in red standing by their table. He could only see her back.

Min stood beside his chair, his eyes wide in surprise.

Shin...his darling Shin, sat still, staring up at the woman, his expression blank. Miki started to rush to him, but then Shin got up fast and pulled the woman into his arms.

"Omma," Shin said, his voice heavy with emotion.

Miki stopped, relief flooding him. He had hoped. Park Haesoo had definitely not disappointed.

"My Shin," she cooed, wrapping her arms around her taller son. She squeezed tight, and Shin smiled, lifting her up. "I've missed you, my love. I missed you so much."

"Me too, Mum," Shin answered, burying his face into her shoulder.

***

Part 8: Jeju Island and Reality

Shin was beyond happy.

Seeing him smile wide at the mere sight of his mother was enough, Miki thought.

Shin and Haesoo were in the kitchen talking with excitement...talking, cooking. Though, Miki was sure not much cooking was happening. The two talked nonstop. Shin's melancholy was gone, disappeared by a red lipstick smile and bright eyes.

Seeing Shin with his mother made Miki think of his own. He called her often. Never forgot to sound cheerful otherwise she would get on the next plane to Seoul. His parents' marriage was blessed, he decided. His father and mother made the institution look unshakeable. Their dedication to each other second to none. It made Miki hope to find a love like that. Find someone who loved him, supported him, worked with him...

Shin laughed and Miki smiled, dropping his gaze to the books on his lap. They had left the party soon after Haesoo's arrival. While the two gravitated to the kitchen, Min was in his room with the door closed, and Miki sat on the floor near the windows trying to get some reading done.

Between listening to Haesoo and Shin and his own thoughts, Miki had barely moved past a paragraph in his book. Closing it, he stretched out on the rug and stared out the windows. His eyes were drooping when he felt fingers sweep through his hair.

"Shin," he started with a smile, only to stop when he opened his eyes and found Haesoo looking at him.

"Hayashi," she said. "Did I wake you?"

Miki sat up quickly making Haesoo chuckle.

"You didn't have to sit up. I wanted to see what's so fascinating," she said, settling beside him.

She sat on the rug in her elegant red dress without hesitation.

Miki sat quiet beside her, stealing a glance behind him to find Shin was nowhere in sight.

"Thank you," Haesoo said, after a moment passed. "Your message gave me the courage to come back to Seoul."

"Shin needs you, please come to Seoul," Haesoo repeated his message. "I suddenly realized while I've been wallowing in my self-pity, my son has been alone."

"Not entirely," Miki said.

"Yes," Haesoo glanced at him. "He has had you."

Miki held her gaze, then because he was terrified she would realize the extent of his feelings for Shin, he dropped his gaze to his clasped hands.

"He's had Min and Hojun too," Miki said.

Haesoo sighed and kept her silence for a full minute.

"Hayashi, if you were me, what would you think of Park Min?"

The question was hard to answer. Haesoo had every right to be angry at her husband's obvious infidelity. Min was the fruit of a union that had betrayed her on a very personal level. Miki knew she would probably not be able to look at Min without thinking of that pain.

Still...he glanced back at Min's closed door.

"I'd try to understand Min," Miki said, his tone low. "He's still young. His mother is gone now—

"That's the cruel joke, isn't it?" Haesoo scoffed, her voice laced with bitterness.

"You can't hold the past against him," Miki finished. "I know it's not easy, but he's also having a hard time."

Haesoo glanced at him, then surprised him with a smile.

"You are an old soul," she said. "Too wise for your age. I see why Shin likes you."

Miki blushed.

"Not so wise," Miki said.

"Wise enough," Haesoo said. "Shin has gone to get barbeque sauce. Dinner is ready. Why don't you wash up while I go get Min?"

Haesoo got up with graceful motions, and was headed to Min's room before Miki could stop her. She knocked once on the door and when no reply came, she tried the door. It was unlocked. She went in, winking at him before she closed the door.

Miki stood in the living room caught between hurrying to Min's rescue, and waiting out in the living room. The silence drove him to press his ear against Min's door. He heard nothing of course, Mr. Park had obviously invested in the building materials. Not a peep from inside Min's room. How could it be possible? Were they not talking?

The front door beeped and he jumped back looking at Shin, crazy with guilt.

Shin chuckled.

"The rooms are soundproofed," Shin said, coming to place the barbeque sauce on the kitchen table. "Why are you trying to eavesdrop on Min?"

"Your mum is in there," Miki said with a frown.

"Is she?" Shin asked, coming to take Miki's right hand.

"Don't sound so nonchalant," Miki said, squeezing Shin's fingers. "You know how hard it is for Min—

"It will be fine," Shin said, leading the way into Miki's room.

Shin closed the door once Miki was in, and pressed Miki against the door. Shin kissed him then, a hungry, ravenous kiss that had him clinging to Shin's t-shirt. A happy moan escaping at the feel of Shin's heat, his taste. Miki opened his mouth wanting more.

"I've missed you," Shin whispered when they broke apart, their breaths coming too fast. "What are we going to do if my mother insists on staying over?"

Miki hadn't thought that far when he had been writing the woman a message. Wrapping his arms around Shin's waist, he sighed and pressed a kiss on Shin's chin.

"She can have your room," Miki suggested.

"Half your stuff is in there," Shin said. "How are we going to explain the two toothbrushes in my bathroom?"

Miki buried his face into Shin's shoulder.

"Fine, she can stay in my room."

"You should have told me you were going to call her." Shin kissed the top of his head and held him tight.

"I wasn't sure she would come," Miki said, he shifted his head slightly so that he could look at Shin. "I didn't want to disappoint you."

"That will never happen, Miki."

"What will never happen?"

"You disappointing me."

Hearing those words, enclosed in Shin's warm embrace, Miki knew then that Shin was a part of him and that he would always need Shin's effortless love.

A knock on the door broke them apart. Shin gave him a hurried kiss and pushed him toward the bathroom.

Miki laughed when he heard Shin open the door to Min.

"Your Mum says dinner is getting cold," Min said. "Where is Miki?"

"Miki is washing up."

"Is he now?" Min teased. "Well, tell him to hurry."

Dinner with Haesoo was lively. More laid back than Miki had imagined. He had no idea what Haesoo told Min in his room. However, at the dining table, she made a conscious effort to include him in the conversation. She passed food to Min and quizzed him about his school.

In one evening, she obliterated any awkwardness between the half-brothers, and created a neutral relationship. Then when dinner was over, and the dishes cleaned up, she insisted on leaving.

"But Mum," Shin complained, holding on to her hand like a little kid.

"I'm not leaving the city." Haesoo smiled pinching Shin's cheek lightly. "Hayashi, look at this grown son of mine. He is clinging to his mother like a toddler. Isn't it embarrassing?"

Miki chuckled.

"He missed you," Min answered.

"Did he?" Haesoo pulled Shin into a hug. She rubbed his back. "I'll be back tomorrow. We can go out and do something, hmm?"

She let go of Shin and turned to Min. She opened her arms inviting him in for a hug. Min's expression was priceless.

Miki pushed him toward Haesoo and smiled wide when Haesoo wrapped the boy in a tight hug.

"Min, you too? Yes?" Haesoo asked, rubbing Min's back gently. "We can stop by to see your Mom."

Min clung to Haesoo tight, then when she let go, he swiped a hand over eyes, and Miki knew he was hiding tears. Haesoo didn't mention it, instead she turned to Miki.

"Hayashi, would you like to visit Jeju Island? I bought a house there, close to the beach. The island is gorgeous and you can take pictures."

"I'd love to," Miki said.

"Great, I go back on Wednesday," Haesoo said, taking her handbag from a small table near the kitchen. "Shin, take Friday off and you guys can fly out for a long weekend."

Miki couldn't contain his excitement. He had read all he could about Jeju Island. Loved how beautiful, lush and untouched it looked. Finding a good resort to stay was expensive, so Haesoo's offer was gold.

His excitement aside, the brothers were in high spirits. Haesoo's visit had done exactly what he'd hoped it would.

No more cold silences for the brothers, Miki thought as Haesoo left.

Sunday came around.

Miki and Shin spent most of the morning in bed, the sun shining through the open windows. Miki's head reclined on the soft pillows on their bed, trying to read Kafka on the Shore. He was 'trying to read' as Shin's head rested on his lap, and though Shin had a book open, Shin's fingers trailed a pattern on Miki's stomach.

The petal soft touch on his naked skin had him rereading the same part. The runaway fifteen year old boy and a girl in the cafeteria in the middle of nowhere, the girl going on about rest stops on the way to some place and how they don't matter. Over and over, Miki read the same words...his brain focusing on Shin's maddening caress.

Shin's fingers pulled on the drawstring holding his pajama pants. Miki closed his eyes, his cock harder than ever. Miki wondered if this was to be his natural state every time Shin came close to him. His body seemed more loyal to Shin. He dropped the book when Shin squeezed his hard-on.

Meeting Shin's amused gaze, he groaned. Shin put his book aside too and shifted moving to lie on Miki, aligning their bodies to perfection. Shin braced his hands on either side of Miki's shoulders.

"Are you going to tease me senseless?" Miki asked, when Shin kept looking at him, not making a move to lower his head down so that Miki could kiss him.

"I want to look at you," Shin said. "I sometimes feel as though you'll disappear on me, Miki. And when you do, I'm afraid I won't remember. How your eyes brighten when you look at me. The curve of your lips when you smile."

Miki held Shin then, his hands sliding along Shin's back.

Shin smiled.

"Then there is that," Shin said, his gaze dropping to Miki's lips. "You bite your lower lip when you're thinking. It's so unconscious, like you can't help it. I wonder if it hurts, but then you look at me, and I forget to ask."

"Shin."

Shin lowered his weight on Miki then.

"Promise me you won't forget me," Shin whispered into Miki's ear. "I don't think I can handle not hearing you say my name, Miki."

Miki closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Shin tighter. He buried his face into Shin's shoulder.

"I promise," Miki promised. His heartbeat too fast.

Then Shin pulled back and kissed him. Miki's breath caught as Shin kissed him as though they didn't have months with each other. Soft kisses turned hot and needy, hands exploring every inch of skin, trailing caresses on delicate and hard places. Miki loved it most when Shin came into him. They fit to perfection, so perfect, it was bliss. Shin's lips locked on his, his legs locked high around Shin's back, Shin driving into him in a mad frenzy to get them over the edge. Miki gasped, breaking their kiss when Shin drove in hard, grazing a part of him that set him on fire. He closed his eyes, fingers digging into Shin's back and let go, coming in a silent scream, his toes curled in ecstasy.

Shin followed soon after, and they collapsed on the messy bed, breathing hard, unwilling to separate. They held each other, sipping kisses on each other's lips, lost in their own world.

***

Jeju was everything.

Sunha and Roberto came along. They couldn't give up an opportunity for adventure with no overnight stay fee. Haesoo ended up having five guys staying at her house on the hills of Jeju. She must have understood what she was getting into because the first thing she did when they arrived was grocery shopping taking them along. She bought food enough to feed an army, quite literary. When they drove to the handsome house on the hills surrounded by lush green plains, they each took in a bag of food to the bright kitchen.

Sunha was the list maker in the group. Wanting the best experience possible at Jeju, Sunha created a full proof itinerary for the weekend, which no one could refute or change. Miki figured it was easier to go with what Sunha said, unless one wanted to argue the entire day away. Not an option when they only had two days to explore.

Which was why on Friday morning, they were all up at four a.m. and driving to Jeju's Sunrise Peak. A bowl like crater forged by nature through underwater volcanic activity. According to Sunha and Haesoo, the top of the crater offered a magnificent sunrise, but only before six o'clock in the morning. The view came at a price of almost six hundred stairs to the top. Thirty minutes worth of climbing. Min and Roberto moved fast, Sunha trailed as even in the early hours, he stopped to take pictures of everything that captured his interest.

At the top of the crater, Miki had to agree with Haesoo and Shin. The city was spectacular below. The sunrise an ethereal painting in the horizon: violets, pinks, indigo blues dancing across the town.

Shin wrapped an arm around Miki's shoulder, and as they leaned on the rail, there was nothing imperfect.

Thirty minutes, and the bright sun took away the magic. The trip down was filled with Min and Sunha debating on where to eat breakfast. In the end, Shin ,who was driving, made the decision by simply driving back to Haesoo's house.

After breakfast, they changed into lighter clothes and headed to Jeongbang waterfall. Min, Roberto and Sunha were on an energy high, going down past large boulders and huge rocks to the waterfall in record time.

Miki took his camera this time and spent a few minutes taking pictures of the view from above. Shin walked with him, their pace slower. On their descent to the waterfall, they came across an old lady selling shellfish and weird-shaped sea creatures. Miki sat on a rock watching Shin talk to the lady. In no time at all, she held out a plate and Miki gulped when Shin turned to him holding the plate.

To be honest, Miki thought, he was seriously squeamish when it came to raw fish life forms. Even more so when the creatures in question were served in the form of watery innards. Shin grinned and ate one with relish.

Miki stared at his boyfriend who was urging him to eat the weird fish and wondered if they would be kissing later. When Shin gave him a glance as though he would be hurt if Miki refused to try the sea creatures fare, Miki took the tiniest piece he could find and popped into his mouth.

Well, the taste wasn't bad, Miki could only say he ate more with his eyes than his taste buds. The look was important, he decided, refusing to eat more.

It was clear though, that Shin would never starve. The man could eat anything.

They left the old lady after paying her, heading down to the waterfall. Insanity ensued as first Sunha ended up in the water, followed by Min, then Roberto, finally Shin. Miki sat on top of a rock taking pictures of the crazy bunch of people he now considered a family of sorts. He was happily watching the waterfall when Shin crept up on him, and pulled him into the water too.

They left the waterfall wet. Miki laughed as they all changed into dry clothes in the parking lot. They were lucky some of the bags were still in the car.

As with trips, they ate too much, explored like maniacs trying to visit every corner of the island as though taking it all in one day would be enough. It wasn't, every time they left a place, they met someone who recommended another spot to visit. Sunha's itinerary expanded more than it dwindled.

Friday ended with a trip to the lava tunnels. Deep underground tunnels that made Min nervous, and left Miki wanting to explore deeper wanting to see if they went down into the earth's center.

Dinner was with Haesoo, afterwards they watched a movie outside her house. She had an old projector, and used the wall on the side of the house as the screen. Miki sat on a swinging bench next to Shin, a blanket over them, eating popcorn. Thanks to their adventures during the day, Miki dozed off almost immediately.

He was aware of Shin shifting him at some point so that his head rested on Shin's chest. Then in a dreamlike state, a conversation drifted into his sleepy thoughts.

"The other guys have drifted into the house one by one. They're sleeping in the room upstairs. Hayashi—,"

"He'll stay with me," Shin said.

Silence.

Then the bench shifted slightly and Miki knew Haesoo had joined them on the bench.

"Shin," Haesoo started.

"Omma," Shin replied.

"Do you know why I won't call Hayashi by his first name?" Haesoo asked.

Shin didn't say anything, so Haesoo continued.

"Because I see the way you look at him," Haesoo said with a small sigh. "And the way he looks at you. Your gaze is a lover's gaze. Protective..." she scoffed, "besotted."

"Are you upset that I love a man?" Shin asked, the arm around Miki tightening.

Miki's heartbeat increased when Haesoo kept her silence.

"Nothing about you would upset me, Shin," she said after what seemed like eons. "You can go out there and pierce every inch of your body, wear tattoos, or paint yourself red, and I wouldn't be upset. So, you falling in love with a man doesn't upset me, because you're my Shin."

"Then what?" Shin asked.

"Hayashi is going back to Tokyo in a few months." Haesoo sighed. "He has a year of school to finish there before he can make any real decisions about his life. This love will hurt you, Shin. I can't watch it."

"Omma."

"I know," Haesoo said, her voice suspiciously weepy. "I want to protect you from that pain."

"Miki would not hurt me."

"Your father promised not to hurt me too." Haesoo cleared her throat. "Look where we are now. Shin, you're finishing school too, soon you'll be busy with work. Hayashi too, he will go back and get caught up in matters to do with the future."

"I love him," Shin said. "I will love only him."

Haesoo gasped.

"You can't know that."

"I know," Shin said. "The odds of us finding each other the way we did are beyond zero percent. That we did is monumental. So, even if he leaves me, I know I'll find him again. I trust him, Mom."

"Oh Shin."

"I'll have only him," Shin said with quiet conviction.

Shin's words that night stayed with Miki because of the certainty ringing in Shin's voice.

The next day was Saturday, Shin borrowed Haesoo's car and left his rented one to the guys. He and Miki then escaped Sunha's itinerary.

They spent the day driving along the main highway with no particular destination in mind. Their wandering brought them to a popular charming art street named after one of Korea's celebrated artists. Shin parked the car. They entered an indie craft shop and while Shin spoke with the owner, Miki spent his time taking more pictures. He was turning into a real photographer this year. He took photos of dream catchers hanging on a line for sale, and reached for one thinking to give it to Shin.

Shin finished with the owner, and Miki unhooked one of the dream catchers with beautiful green and white feathers. He paid for it, and followed Shin out of the shop. They ate a light lunch, anticipating Haesoo's hefty dinner, then left the charming street heading to the beach.

Sitting on a flat boulder, watching the water swirl, Shin took Miki's right hand and slipped a ring on Miki's middle finger. Miki met Shin's gaze, then he looked at the silver ring inlaid with mother of pearl in the middle.

"You are mine," Shin said, taking a second ring from his pocket and handed it to Miki. Holding out his right hand, he smiled. "As I'm yours, Miki."

Miki slid the ring he held on to Shin's right middle finger too. He met Shin's gaze, happiness swirling inside him ready to burst out.

"Always," Miki said, knowing it to be true in his heart.

***

They say, when one is happy and content, time moves faster, one blink and the end is a minute away.

So, it was for Miki.

November arrived too quickly.

After the Jeju trip, he and Shin entered a state of euphoria where none spoke of the future, only focusing on moments. Thousands of trips out of Seoul, crazy night outs with Sunha, Roberto and Min, dinners at the loft, Sunday mornings spent in bed, afternoons watching movies with Min. Visiting Hojun's house and meeting his family, shopping trips to buy gifts for Miki's family. Hours and hours spent in each other's arms.

Somewhere between all that, time flew...and it was November. Miki finished his final class at Seoul University, and made the necessary submissions, to ensure smooth transition into Tokyo University for his final year.

Then it was three days before he had to fly back to Tokyo.

Miki found himself staring at his open suitcase on his bed, his clothes neatly packed. All the precious items he'd managed to accumulate in the space of eleven months already shipped home to Tokyo. Folding his last towel, Miki placed it on top of his clothes and closed the suitcase. Pulling it off his bed, he set it against the wall and looked around the empty room.

His plane ticket and passport sat on the bedside table. His carryon bag resting on his pillow. He was all packed.

Moving to sit on the edge of the bed, Miki sat staring at the ring on his right hand.

A soft knock came, and his door opened to reveal Min.

"Hey," Miki said, finding a smile for the little brother he'd gained. "Are you back from school already?"

"Yeah," Min came to sit on the bed beside him. "I thought I better come home and hang out with you."

Miki chuckled, bumping Min's shoulder.

"You hungry? I will make you an omelet."

Min nodded, his gaze resting on Miki's suitcase by the wall.

"All packed?" Min asked, his tone hesitant.

"Yeah," Miki nodded. "Although, I'm sure I left stuff in Shin's room."

Min sighed.

"I hope Dad doesn't rent to anyone else. This is your room, Miki."

Miki stood up, his heart aching at the thought of anyone else taking his place here. He tousled Min's hair.

"Let's go to the kitchen," Miki said, helping Min up. He closed the door, not wanting to think about his departure. He had three more days. Three days to fit in all the memories he could.

"Shin?" Min asked, when they were in the kitchen and Miki was busy cutting vegetables.

"He got a call this morning from Hanwu Media. They said he was recommended by his professor. He ran off in excitement," Miki answered.

"Hanwu is big," Min said. "If he lands there, he should be on the path to big jobs in no time."

"Yeah," Miki said, starting the fire. He placed the pan on the cooker and grinned at Min. "That's good news for our Shin. If he comes home happy, let's take him out."

"You might need to do that alone. I have a study session later," Min said.

Miki made the omelet and watched Min eat it while he sipped a glass of water. The twists and turns in his stomach made it impossible for him to eat. Min went into his room, took a quick shower and changed clothes. Thanking Miki, Min left the loft with his book bag headed to his friend's house.

Alone, Miki moved to the couch in front of the television and sat there watching cartoons until Shin came in around eight in the evening.

Shin removed his tie, dropping it on the floor, followed with his suit jacket.

Miki sat up on the couch, watching his boyfriend unbutton his shirt.

"How did it go?" Miki asked.

"Really well," Shin answered going to the fridge to get a bottle of water. "I have a job. It starts next week."

"That's good news," Miki said, sad that he wouldn't be able to see Shin going to his first job ever.

Shin drank deep from the bottle. Placing it on the counter, he tagged his shirt tails out and came to join Miki on the couch. Miki smiled when Shin wrapped him in a tight hug, holding him close.

"Mmm..." Shin sighed. "This is the best moment of the day."

Miki reclined back on the pillows, Shin's head resting on his chest and finger-combed Shin's hair.

"What are you going to be doing?" Miki asked.

"I'm a lowly rookie program-director," Shin shifted his head slightly so that he could look at Miki. "Basically, everyone's do-this/do-that boy until I can prove myself. It doesn't help I went in on recommendation."

"Will you leave if they treat you badly?" Miki asked.

"Not in the current job market," Shin said. "It's a good start towards what I want to do. I'll work hard, and plan on starting an independent studio."

"What will you call it?" Miki asked, sure that Shin had it in him to make his dreams come true.

"Studio HayaShin," Shin said with a laugh.

"That's cheesy," Miki said, though he was secretly pleased that Shin wanted to name his business with his name.

"Hayashi and Shin," Shin continued, shifting on the couch until he was on his back. "HayaShin," Shin said, lifting his hands up as though he saw the signboard above.

"You'll make it happen, baby," Miki said, taking Shin's right hand, his thumb rubbing over Shin's ring. "I'm sure in time you'll be managing a long list of actors, musicians and producing television programs."

Shin tangled their fingers.

"Miki, would you hate it if I asked you to come stay here with me?"

Miki closed his eyes. Months ago, he'd eagerly boarded a plane in search of adventure. Seeking a colorful life, and boy had he found it all. With an added bonus of love, a love he doubted he would find elsewhere.

"I need to finish school," Miki said. "I should finish that."

"Of course." Shin lifted their joined hands to press a kiss on Miki's wrist. "Baby, you're good enough to run a country."

"I don't want political office," Miki said, he'd been giving it thought. The only thing that would provide him with the freedom he needed was private sector. "I'll make money, Shin. Enough to give us the life we want. Then..."

"Then?" Shin turned his head slightly to look at Miki.

"Then, I will find you, Park Shin. I belong with you."

Shin smiled.

"Me too," Shin said with a wide smile.

The anxiety should have dissipated at that moment, but instead it only increased.

The day before his flight to Tokyo, Min showed up in Shin's bedroom holding a small package wrapped in newspaper. He gave the package to Miki with a sheepish grin.

Miki unwrapped the wrinkled paper, Shin standing behind him looking on. He revealed a bracelet: three dark leather strips knitted and held together with a jade bead.

"So you don't forget us," Min said. "The three of us are one family, Miki-hyung."

Miki bit his inner lip hard to keep from bawling like a child, and much to Min's dismay pulled him into a tight hug. Min swiped his hand over his eyes and turned to the side when Miki let go of him.

"Alright, I didn't want to miss taking you to the airport, but I'm going on a school trip today and won't make it back until Friday evening," Min said.

"I understand," Miki said. "This Hyung won't hold it against you."

Min laughed.

"Remember you promised to email me and to call me. Don't miss a day."

Miki nodded in answer to Min's orders.

"Hyung," Min turned to Shin. "Make sure he reaches the airport okay."

"You know I will," Shin said, moving to place his hands on Min's shoulders. He led his younger brother to the door. "Go to school already, you're making me nervous with all the orders."

"Bye Miki," Min waved and Miki slipped on the bracelet on his left wrist and waved it in acknowledgment.

Shin closed the door and Miki sat on the bed, allowing his tears to fall.

"I don't know that I can leave," Miki said staring at Shin. "I—I—come with me to Tokyo, Shin. Let's take Min too. I'll miss you guys so much."

Shin hurried to his side, pulling him into a tight hug.

"You're going to be fine," Shin said. "If I can get free time from work, I'll come visit you."

Miki clutched Shin's t-shirt. "Promise?"

"I promise," Shin said.

"Will you really go with me to the airport?" Miki asked.

"Try to leave without me," Shin said, pressing a kiss on top of his head. "I need to stop by uni today to pick up equipment. Then go to Hanwu, to pick up my ID and clear with security. I'll be back this afternoon and we can do something special."

Shin smiled at him, and Miki captured that smile and stored it deep inside. Shin left the loft that morning with a careless wave.

***

If Miki had known that was how they would part, he might have insisted on a kiss or two. This brought him to the loneliest moment of his life. Sitting in a plane heading to Tokyo, Shin not having managed to make it back to the loft at all through the afternoon and night.

Shin hadn't answered his phone, and neither had Hojun when he tried him.

Miki didn't call Min not wanting to worry him while he was away.

Worried, Miki left the loft at seven in the evening, took a taxi and headed to Hojun's house. Hojun's wife received him. She told Miki, Hojun had not returned from his office and wasn't expected until late. Miki thanked her and left, refusing to wait. He tried Shin's number again. When he got no response, he headed to campus thinking Shin might have been caught up in a party at school. At campus, the students he met who knew Shin all said they hadn't seen him that day. Not knowing where Hanwu Media was, Miki decided to head back to the loft hoping Shin had made it back home.

His heart broke a little when he arrived at the loft to find it dark as he had left it. Turning on the lights, Miki stood in the middle of the living room feeling lost.

He dialed Shin's number again with no answer.

Desperation had him calling Park Haesoo.

"Hayashi," she said, her tone laid back. "How are you, my dear?"

"I'm fine," Miki sat on the coffee table, wondering how to ask if Shin was with her. Why Shin would be in Jeju without telling him, he didn't know. "I—

"Shin told me you're leaving in the morning," Haesoo said. "I'm going to miss you, Hayashi."

Miki swallowed hard.

"I'll miss you too."

"Tell Shin to call me tomorrow, okay?" Haesoo continued. "I'll come visit him this weekend. I'm sure he'll be missing you, terribly. I'll distract him for you."

Miki closed his eyes.

So, Shin wasn't with her. Where the hell was he?

"And tell him to answer his mother's calls," Haesoo said with a sigh. "I called him earlier and he didn't answer."

Miki bid Haesoo goodbye soon after and sat on the coffee table staring at the door.

He didn't know whom else he could call. Roberto and Sunha were away in Busan. They'd said their goodbyes last week. Sunha had gotten a project photographing another wedding in Busan. Since uni was closed for the semester, the two of them had decided to take a week exploring Busan. They definitely wouldn't know where Shin was.

He didn't sleep. Instead, he stayed up on the couch watching television waiting for Shin to come home. When the waiting got unbearable, Miki dialed Shin's number over and over. Each time the call cut off, his heart broke.

Tears filled his eyes when he had to call a cab at four-thirty in the morning so that he wouldn't miss his flight. Money wise, he was depleted, and couldn't cancel his flight for fear he couldn't afford another home. Miki fought back more tears when he dragged his suitcase out of his room, taking one last glance at the loft he'd come to love. He closed the front door with a sigh. The trip down the stairs left him annoyed.

Once again, he cursed the size of his suitcase when he had to wrestle it into the taxi. The drive to the airport was filled with worry and anger in equal share. At the airport, twenty minutes of check-in kept him occupied enough to calm him down...

Until he was done and waiting for his flight.

He dialed Shin's number, panic filling the pit of his stomach when still there was no answer. Thinking about Shin's promise yesterday morning, Miki wondered how he should take this.

Now...sitting in his seat as the plane took off, Miki was afraid of the truth that he might never see Shin again. That the Seoul he'd discovered, that the family he had found was lost to him and all he had were memories. Fantastic memories to carry through a lifetime.

***
Chapter 2 : The Future we Wanted

Lub-dup, lub-dup...

I can't forget, the sound of his heartbeat,

I hope each day to hear it again.

Part 1: Five Years...and then A Stunning Logo Makes an appearance

It's only in the movies, they say.

Lovers meet, time separates them, and then after years they meet again. Fans wonder across the globe, why the two leads in the movie couldn't have messaged each other, once. Like idiots walking in their separate corners of the globe, why on earth would two lovers exist so separately in this day and age if they loved each other.

After all, there was Skype, email, Line, Facebook, Instagram...everyone was jacked up on social. Why the hell would the fucking lovers stay so utterly silent?

Miki scoffed. He now had an answer, of course.

Being one part of a pair that would love for a lifetime, he knew the answer implicitly. You see, the other part of the pair needed to make an effort to connect too. One call, a dozen calls, one hundred unanswered calls later, and the one part that's reaching out will lose hope, fizzle away and give up.

Okay, maybe not give up.

An unhealthy stalking ritual might develop, including hitting up relatives and friends who know the other half of the pair for information, but it was all futile if the other half of the pair made no effort whatsoever.

To escape the torture of not knowing, Miki taught himself not to seek out information. Not to stalk Park Shin's social accounts, not that there were any. Shin seemed to have cut himself off from social, or push Min for answers he seemed not to have.

Miki decided to focus on finishing school, and ended up graduating top of his class. His parents were ecstatic. Of course, they got their dream. He on the other hand nursed a broken heart through every minute of every hour. Until all he could do was focus on tangible achievements since the state of his heart was something he could not repair.

Not alone, not without the help of the one person he'd given it to.

Miki knew that like a fool, he would love once, and love deep. Whether Shin talked to him again in this lifetime or not, if they met again or not, Shin would always be the one. The only one who could repair his heart.

To escape the pain of that truth, Miki allowed the most logical side of him to take over his life. Ambition was the sole driving force of his logical side. He'd spent years studying books, learning all he could about economics, making money, moving money, trade...he naturally dived into the money game like a fish to water.

As a novice fund manager, Miki made great wins, and damaging losses, but his ability to recover and rise after a loss got better, finer, until he turned into a master.

Four years later, Hayashi Miki found himself escaping the employment yoke in order to manage his sizeable personal portfolio.

His success allowed him to move his parents out of the family home where his brother had once burned his books in the front yard and made them the talk of the town. Getting them a house with a modest compound so that his mother could refocus her attention on a garden of flowers. Miki was especially grateful when she joined the bonsai tree club. It meant she spent less time nagging him about grandchildren.

Miki discovered his older brother's secrets too. It turns out Nobu's secret passion was art, graffiti to be exact. It took some convincing, but he managed to open a small studio in Harajuku for Nobu. His brother would only agree to the work in the studio if Miki owned half the enterprise. Out of that studio, Nobu created a popular manga series that brought him a comfortable income. Their mother was happier now when Nobu persisted in helping her with household finances.

As for his sister, she was happy with her husband. Miki contented himself with visiting her to play with his niece and nephew.

When he wasn't busy with his family, Miki focused on making money, investing and reinvesting and when it got too much...he focused on his family.

Anything to keep his thoughts preoccupied, keep him away from Seoul where he so desperately wanted to go and discover what had happened to Park Shin.

Oh, the urge to return there was crippling. He wanted to visit the loft above Shinjiru Coffee...see Min standing on the balcony, Shin beside him reading a book. Sit at the kitchen table eating omelets. The longing was the hardest to ignore, and on nights he couldn't resist it, he truly went off the deep end, making calls to old numbers, long disconnected. There was nothing like trying Shin's number and getting silence in return.

Love, that was the one thing Miki couldn't seem to fix, or cure. The insane need to know what the hell had happened to Park Shin drove him crazy.

Why would a man who claimed to love him let him go without a word?

The question left him trembling each time.

"Mr. Hayashi," a soft voice drew him back to the present.

Miki blinked and stared at the beautiful woman standing in his study. She held out a white envelope to him, her red nails a vibrant contrast against the white.

"This has come for you. It's an invitation."

Miki took the envelope, opening it to find an invitation to an investment party from his old company. He tossed it aside.

"Not interested," Miki said.

"Sir, you haven't left the house in two weeks."

"Suki, I don't feel up to forcing smiles. Let it be."

"Should I call your sister for you?"

"No." Miki waved her offer away.

"Nobu-san is holding a street fair tomorrow. Maybe you want to go help out?"

"Pass," Miki said, when Suki started again, he lifted his hand. "Pass on whatever horticulture trip my mother is taking this week, or the weekly golf game with my father. That's the end of the list. Anything else?"

Suki sighed. "Yes. I'll go sort your emails now."

Miki nodded and watched her leave.

Getting up from his chair, Miki wandered to the windows, opening the curtains to stare out at the city. In all his adventures to settle his family, he'd never gotten the urge to buy a home for his personal use. He lived in a hotel, dependent on the well-oiled machine that was the hotel staff to handle food and laundry.

Miki was terrified that if he lived in his own house, they'd find him after months of being dead drowning in dirt, unwashed clothes and dirty dishes. The headlines in the papers would read, 'heart broken, lonely man found dead'. Morbid, but this was his state of mind after nights of thinking about Shin.

The sun was out.

It was spring in Tokyo. The cherry blossoms were blooming.

Walking back to his desk, Miki closed all the browser windows staring back at him. Searches for tickets to Seoul, the state of Shinjiru Coffee, Min's Line account, and Haesoo's blog about living on Jeju Island. All of them insanely bereft of Park Shin. Miki wondered how those two could talk about their lives, leaving out a vital part like Shin.

Closing all the windows lest he be tempted again, Miki left the study, startling Suki who was perched on an armchair in the living room. She stood up and he walked by her heading up short steps to his bedroom. Closing the door, he took a shower, standing under scalding water to clear his head. His hair was longer than usual. He made a note to stop by the barber down the street. He finished his shower, dressed casual: fitting blue jeans, white t-shirt, converse shoes and a light green sweater. He pushed his damp hair back, not bothering to do more. Taking his wallet and phone, he left his bedroom.

Suki still sat on the armchair reading her pad, a cup of coffee on the table before her.

"Going out?" she asked. "Should I call you a cab?"

"No." Miki headed for the front door. "Do make an appointment with the barber for me. He gets grouchy if I don't call."

"For when?" Suki asked.

Miki glanced at his watch.

"Next hour or two?"

Miki left to the sound of Suki grumbling at the short notice. He smiled as he walked to the elevators.

Once outside, his mood lifted thanks to the cool spring air. Finding the blooming cherry blossoms was easy, watching couples and families walk along the paths with him, that was harder.

Miki walked among these happy people but after ten minutes, he found he couldn't take their joyous smiles. Changing direction, he headed into an elite shopping street with only lampposts and streetlights. Busy socialites racing to appointments, and businessmen in suits. The advertisements on the windows were intriguing, but not enough to entice him. He paused at an electronic store, intrigued by a camera. He still liked taking photographs when he could. His gaze shifted slightly to a television right next that was showing international entertainment news.

HayaShin Entertainment.

The logo filled the screen for a moment and Miki slammed his palm on the window, his knees going weak. He stumbled into the shop in the next minute, heading to the closest television. An incredible wide screen that took up considerable space. The volume was high in the store.

"South Korea's HayaShin Entertainment is a growing powerhouse in the industry. The brilliant Director Park leads the company, whose film Savage Winds enjoyed a positive response at the Sundance Festival last year. Savage Winds then saw subsequent success in the box office, raking in top sales in the first week of screening. The success is largely attributed to HayaShin Entertainment. The company opened its doors three years ago. Hayashin Entertainment has proved itself in the industry taking on talent management, and production both in music and television. The company has seen steady growth and is now anticipating expanding into the Japanese market. Director Park, HayaShin's C.E.O. is set to arrive in Tokyo within the week to meet investors. Our correspondent in Seoul, Young Raon, briefly caught up with Director Park on this earlier today..."

After five years of nothing but silence, Miki got his first glimpse of Park Shin, while standing in the middle of an electronic store.

"Director Park, HayaShin is set to begin talks with investors in Japan. What do you hope to achieve during your trip to Tokyo?"

"I'm hoping to fulfill a promise," Shin answered. "One made to those who have seen this company through many troubled starts, and to bring hope to one I've let down."

Shin's words barely registered, and then Shin was heading away from the camera and into a building. The reporters were stopped at the entrance and Miki pressed a hand against his chest staring at Shin's retreating back.

Shin looked well, too well. No visible injuries, his smile was the same, the hair still shaggy, his eyes bright. Still handsome as ever, his voice as deep as Miki remembered.

Why then? Miki wondered, staring at the logo Shin had once boasted about. He remembered that moment on the couch as if it was yesterday. Shin lifting his hands up.

'Hayashi and Shin,' Shin said. 'HayaShin.'

Miki took in a shaky breath, his heart aching so badly he feared it would melt away.

Shin...why did you leave me?

***
Part 2: The Party that Broke the Dam of Emotion

After binging on Director Park's creativity for two days, Miki decided he wanted to meet Park Shin again. On his own terms, of course. So, he called all the people who owed him favors, to get Shin invited to the party on the card Suki had brought him. After all, Shin was coming to Tokyo to find investment partners.

Miki wanted answers.

Meeting Shin would give him that, but there was the insane need to make an impression too. Shin wasn't the only one who had worked hard to make his name, make his company...see his dreams come true.

Miki frowned.

He too had achieved what he wanted. He had...and had Shin stayed, they'd be living the life they'd both imagined. The future they'd both dreamed once.

Sufficient to say, madness does grow from heartache. One might not believe this until it happens, but first it was important to define madness. Doing what is not normal? What is unexpected? What he would think abnormal? Going to an investment party was normal, but going to see Shin...well that he considered madness. Madness because he was afraid one look at Shin and he'd throw himself at the man's feet and beg.

Fuck it!

If there was hope, maybe they could still live that life...Miki's frowned deepened. What was he thinking? What if Shin didn't love him anymore? God, not knowing was torture.

Miki dumped the last white shirt he had in his closet on the bed, and stepped back. White shirts, black slacks, blazers, three tuxedos, belts, more white shirts.

Miki headed to his bedroom door and flung it open.

"Suki!"

She came running holding a slice of watermelon in one hand a knife in the other. She stopped at the bottom of the short stairs staring at him.

"What?"

"Why the hell are you holding a knife?" Miki scowled.

Suki, perfectly dressed in a pretty flowery red dress, her face made up to perfection, standing there holding a dripping watermelon slice and knife, it was a ridiculous picture. Where the fuck had she gotten the knife?

"I was cutting up watermelons in the kitchenette."

She stared at him as if the explanation should make sense.

When it was obvious he didn't understand. Suki blinked.

"The small kitchen," Suki said. "You have one."

Miki blinked. He sincerely hadn't known that.

"Explore your suite more, sir. You spend too much time in your study," Suki replied. "What can I do for you, our almighty? You sounded hysterical."

"I'm never hysterical." Miki pointed at the mess she was making. "Find a place for that. I need your help."

Suki grumbled under her breath and placed her watermelon and the knife on a small table by the wall. Miki waved her into his bedroom, impatient.

He led the way to his messy bed.

"I need a formal outfit," he said, waving at the formal shirts, blazers, and suits on his bed. "Do something."

Suki raised her arms as though she wanted to pull her hair out.

"I had half of these pressed and ironed two days ago. Why—

"Can you help me or not?" Miki asked. "I'm going to a party tonight."

"The party you refused to attend?" Suki asked in surprise.

"Yes. I sent the RSVP myself," Miki said. "I'm leaving in one hour."

Suki turned to look at him. "I need a raise."

"Can we talk about that after the party?" Miki asked.

"Promise me," Suki said. "Tomorrow morning, first thing."

"Yes, alright," Miki waved to the mess on his bed. "What do we do now?"

Suki smiled.

"Now you let me do my job."

***

Yes, he supposed having Suki to handle his problems was the only smart thing he'd done. One phone call from her and the well-oiled machine that ran the hotel worked for him. He'd never gotten around to visiting the barber that sunny day Shin's logo assaulted him outside an electronic store. Suki managed to get that same barber to come to his suite, and in forty-five minutes, he was groomed, dressed and ready for the party.

The black town car Suki got to drive him to the private property in the suburbs of Tokyo pulled to the front doors of an exquisite house. Miki exhaled as he got out of the car, adjusting his jacket, he walked up the steps to the open doors.

"Mr. Hayashi," the host of the party greeted him at the door, extending his hand.

"Mr. Ryoha," Miki shook the man's hand. "Thank you for inviting me."

"I'm honored you changed your mind and decided to attend. You've made me the envy of the town by accepting my invitation. Everyone wants to know my secret for getting you in here."

Miki smiled allowing Mr. Ryoha to lead him to the ballroom located to the left of the house. Ryoha Matsue was the owner of Ryoha Investments, the company Miki had worked for before he quit. Miki was loyal to the man, as without Ryoha he doubted he would have been as successful.

"Mr. Ryoha, if you call, you know I will always come."

Miki spent a few minutes chatting with Mr. Ryoha, then doing the rounds, meeting old and new acquaintances. He avoided any serious talk not wanting to be tied down. He wasn't here to focus on business. No, tonight...he accepted a drink from a passing waiter, his gaze searching the crowd. Tonight, he was here because of Shin.

He sipped his champagne, and lowered his glass just as he spotted Park Shin.

Everything inside him stilled.

The strange dance of anxiety, eagerness and fear was familiar. He felt it every time he dialed Shin's number with no response, or when he talked to Min and asked about Shin. Hell, he even felt it when waiting for email responses from Haesoo. The ripping disappointment after was always too much to bear. Seeing Shin now, Miki was reminded again of why he needed to recognize this as madness.

If he let Shin in again...God, if he let himself hope and disappointment followed, they might really find him standing on the top of Tokyo Tower about to throw himself off.

"Are you alright?" Shin asked.

Miki blinked, his hand shaking when he realized Shin was standing right in front of him.

For the life of him, his lips couldn't form a response. His gaze too preoccupied with taking in the sight of Shin. How could it be possible for a man to get more handsome with time? Shin's hair was combed back neatly, his dark eyes as captivating as Miki remembered. His gaze slid down Shin's elegant nose, and rested on lips curved in a slight smile. The sight of it had Miki taking a step back. He exhaled and brought the glass of champagne to his lips. Taking a healthy sip, he curbed the urge to run.

"Miki," Shin said, his tone gentle.

Miki closed his eyes, at the sound of his name coming from Shin's lips, in Shin's deep voice. So much deeper now...

My God...he couldn't do this.

The room was too hot. His tie too tight. Miki reached up to tag on the tie around his neck. Sweat broke out on his forehead and he looked around the room. There were terrace doors straight ahead.

Placing his half-drank champagne on a table, Miki decided on escape. He walked fast, headed to the terrace doors. The moment he stepped out and the cool air hit him, he took in a deep breath and wondered how the hell he'd gotten so hot so soon after arriving.

Undoing the top button of his shirt, he headed to a bench set in a neat grass yard. Of course, the Matsue family would have such a haven in the middle of a city with no space to spare. He sank on the white bench with a relieved sigh, resting his elbows on his knees. Goodness, seeing Shin—

"You look better."

Miki looked up fast. He hadn't realized Shin had followed him.

"Don't look at me that way," Shin chided, coming to sit on the bench too. "It makes me feel like an ogre. And I really need you to listen to me, Miki."

"Why did you follow me?" Miki asked, his voice coming out in a hoarse whisper.

Shin didn't answer him.

Miki realized he didn't need an answer. Shin...at least the Shin he'd known in Seoul would follow him.

Miki stared at the grass. After all the fire that had burned inside him, demanding he come to this party, one glance at Shin and he was left speechless.

"I've missed you," Shin said.

***

"You don't get to say that to me," Miki said, surprising Shin. "You really don't, Shin."

"What do I do? It's the truth, Miki," Shin said, taking in Miki's angry eyes.

God he'd missed seeing those eyes light up. Miki was even more handsome than he remembered. So utterly exquisite, Shin wondered what Miki would do if he were to kiss him here.

His gaze dropped to Miki's left hand and he sighed, when he saw it shaking again.

Before Miki could protest, he reached out and took Miki's hand in his, hoping to still the trembling.

"Are you sick?" Shin asked, squeezing slender fingers. "You've lost weight since I last saw you."

"How long ago was that?" Miki asked with a scoff.

"Miki."

"I can't do this here," Miki said trying to pull his hand out of Shin's hold. "I—I—,"

"I have a lot of things to say." Shin refused to let go, shifting on the bench so that he clung to Miki's hand with both his. "Apologies to make—

"You abandoned me, Shin." Miki broke in, his voice harsh with emotion. "You wouldn't answer my calls. I thought you would show up at the airport for sure, but you didn't. When I got back here, I couldn't get you. Min wouldn't tell me where you were, and neither would your mom. You froze me out, Shin. Do you know how hard that was? No apologies can fix that."

"Miki," Shin squeezed Miki's hand.

Miki's eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"I came here wanting to know why you did it, but now I don't want to know. I'm afraid it will hurt more than not talking to you all these years," Miki said. "I don't know that I can take it."

Shin stared at where he clung to Miki's hand. He had known it wouldn't be easy to get Miki back. He'd been afraid the damage was too deep, too painful...still, he had worked too hard to lose out now.

Whatever the impact of their separation...Miki was here, right in front of him. He wasn't about to watch him walk away.

Shin got up, not letting go of Miki's hand. "Come with me."

Miki frowned. "Where?"

"Somewhere you can yell at me, scream at me...all the things you have wanted to do, then you can forgive me."

"I'll never forgive you."

"That would be tragic, Miki." Shin pulled Miki to his feet. "I refuse to live a tragedy. I'm sorry I'm late coming to find you. So, let's do what I say for now."

Taking advantage of Miki's shock, Shin led the way back to the ballroom. Never once letting go of Miki's hand.

"What about your investors?" Miki asked, when they left the room full of elite businessmen and were in the foyer.

"You're more important," Shin said, walking with purpose.

Outside, a red sports car waited. Shin opened the passenger door, waiting for Miki to settle in, afraid if he left him to enter the car on his own, Miki would run away. Closing the door firmly, he locked it and ran to the driver's side. Once inside, he pressed on the gas, taking off fast not giving Miki a chance to jump out.

"You always liked driving too fast," Miki said, clinging to the door handle.

Shin smiled heading to his hotel. If it meant locking Miki up in his suite until they'd ironed their differences, then so be it. He'd made the decision the moment he spotted Miki walking into the room, smiling at an older man as though he owned the world. The blinding jealousy nearly gave him a heart attack. He had known then that nothing would keep them apart again. Fuck propriety, or his father's expectations, he was all in now.

***

To Miki's eternal surprise, Shin was staying at the Park Inn, the same hotel he called home. Shin gave him no time to protest, or escape. Holding on to his right arm tight, dragging him out of the car and into the lobby. They were in the elevator in seconds and heading to the tenth floor. Through it, Miki kept thinking he should just press the sixth floor button and get off, but he didn't.

His gaze remaining on Shin's back: Shin's shoulders broad and strong, elegantly framed by the white dinner jacket he wore. His hair so neat, Miki wanted to sink his fingers in and mess it.

He dropped his gaze to where Shin held his arm. He couldn't bring himself to pull his arm out of Shin's hold. This little and he was wavering...Miki swallowed hard.

The elevator doors opened, and then they were in Shin's suite.

Shin pulled him into his arms the moment the doors closed. Miki clung to Shin's shoulders, eyes closed when Shin's lips covered his. The shock of it pleasurable, so mind-boggling, like an addict long denied, he fell into Shin's taste, Shin's heat, Shin. Everything Shin. Good God, how had he lived without this?

How had they lived?

Shin sunk fingers into his hair, tilting his head, his kiss turning brutal, almost punishing. Miki took it, opening his mouth for Shin, letting him in. His fingers digging into Shin's jacket, holding on, his entire body lighting up.

Shin's hands found their way under Miki's shirt, and the feel of Shin's fingers on his bare skin, caressing, stroking up his back had Miki moaning for more. He wanted to feel Shin on him...in him...

He gasped, opening his eyes and shook his head.

"No."

"What?"

"No."

Miki pushed Shin away, but the man locked his arms around Miki's waist.

Miki panicked and they struggled, fiercely.

"Miki."

"I don't want this," Miki said, his tone full of panic. "I don't, Shin!"

He kicked Shin's right thigh, and Shin let go with a groan. Miki stumbled back, tripping on his own feet, he fell on the floor, lucky it was carpeted.

Shin rubbed his thigh, glaring at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Stay away from me." Miki held out his hand when Shin started to come to him. "Don't."

"Ask me anything else," Shin said moving closer. He crouched on the floor. "Anything else, Miki."

"Don't talk to me either."

"Why not?"

Miki shook his head, wiping his mouth with his palm. The sound of Shin's voice did things to him inside. Hell just looking at him, Miki looked away, staring at the red carpet, then turned to gauge how far it was to the door. He'd made a mistake going to the party. The reason?

Well, he wasn't strong enough to withstand looking at Shin, listen to him, then walk away.

No, at this rate, he was liable to fall into Shin's arms and forgive him everything. Just so that it didn't hurt anymore to be without Shin. Just so he didn't wake up crying at how much he missed Shin holding him.

"Miki."

"Was it easy for you?" Miki asked, refusing to look at Shin. "Not seeing me, not talking to me, was it easy?"

"No."

Miki closed his eyes. Shin's answer was what he wanted to hear, and because it was, he dared not believe it.

"It must have been easy," he murmured.

"No, it wasn't," Shin said, moving closer.

"It had to be," Miki said, sure. "I could barely function with worry. I called you so many times, if I'd been able to fly back to Seoul then, I would have. To come find you, but you—

Shin grabbed Miki's arms and shook him hard.

"It was a fucking nightmare, Miki."

"What was a nightmare?" Miki demanded. "You not answering my calls? You telling Min and Haesoo not to talk to me about you? What part? Huh? Did you listen to my voicemails and think me an idiot for missing you? Did you?"

"No."

Miki sighed and finally met Shin's dark eyes filled with shadows he didn't understand.

"I hate you," Miki said then. "I love you so much, that I hate you."

Shin gasped and let go of him. He sat back on his haunches, his shoulders slumped.

"My dad found out about us." Shin spoke into the ensuing silence. "One of the coffee house employees took a picture of us kissing in the laundry room. He blackmailed my dad. I didn't know until the day you were leaving."

Shin's confession did nothing to stop the resentment inside him. They'd both known their love wasn't easy. It was never going to be easy. They had too many opposing variables. Miki had always assumed Shin understood that. His own parents would disown him if they knew about Shin.

Their love was unacceptable to their parents' generation.

"Haesoo knew about me loving you," Shin said, sitting on the floor too. He pulled off his tie and undid the top two buttons of his shirt. He threw the tie to the side. "I thought my father wouldn't care too much, but I was wrong, Miki. I was so wrong."

Miki refused to comment when Shin glanced at him.

"Dad had me taken from university that day. He took my phone, and locked me in the house for two whole days. It wasn't that I refused to answer your calls, but that I couldn't, Miki." Shin shook his head. "After you left, my dad let me out. He handed me my phone and I spent hours listening to your messages."

Miki closed his eyes remembering the pleading messages he left, the teasing ones, the angry ones, the defeated ones at the end. When he arrived in Tokyo and after checking his bank account, Miki dialed Shin begging him to answer or he was going to rob someone for money to go back to Seoul.

"Listening to you was fine torture," Shin said now. "When I was done going through your messages, I went to Dad, got on my knees and begged him to let me be with you. His response was to collapse with a stroke. I rushed him to the hospital, and the doctors saved him. When he woke up, the only promise he asked of me was not to see you again."

Miki felt tears prick the back of his eyes. Shin, the filial son, would have tortured himself with the choice.

"The doctor said if we weren't careful we could lose him to another stroke," Shin dropped his head into his hands. "What was I to do, Miki? Haesoo stared at me, her gaze pleading and begging me to do as my father asked. Min too, Dad is the only parent he has left. How could he lose him? My love for you was hurting Dad, and them. I—,"

"He's your dad," Miki said, in a whisper, understanding Shin's decision, though it hurt even more.

Shin dropped his hands on his lap and a bitter chuckle escaping him.

"Of course, you understand me so simply. I gave in to Dad. I was afraid if I didn't, he would end up dead. Worse, he might decide to come after you somehow. Min didn't understand my decision. He moved out of the loft after he graduated high school saying he didn't want to be associated with me anymore. I couldn't talk to you because I couldn't do anything for you, Miki. What promises could I give you? I couldn't come see you, or promise you a future."

"You could have told me what was going," Miki countered. "What makes you think I wouldn't have understood? Huh? Instead—

"I'm sorry."

"I can't listen anymore."

Miki started to get up, but Shin scrambled to stop him. Miki gasped when Shin's weight pressed him to the floor, so that Shin was lying over him and he had no choice but to meet Shin's gaze.

"I never stopped loving you," Shin said, the sincerity of his words so clear. "Through it all, I never once stopped loving you, Hayashi Miki. I thought about you every second for five years. Even after my father recovered and I stayed with him taking care of him, watching him smile, I only thought of you. Dreaming of this moment when I would have you in my arms again."

"Don't do this," Miki shook his head. "What am I supposed to do—?"

"Forgive me for letting go of you," Shin said, burying his face into Miki's shoulder. "I won't ever do it again, Miki. I'm free now. Dad has no hold over me now that I've build HayaShin. I love you. I promise never to let go of you again."

"What happens if your father gets sick again, or even Haesoo?" Miki asked, afraid of Shin's words. Sure if Shin kept holding him down like this, he was surely going to give in. His body, his heart, his mind wanted everything about Shin, but at what cost. "You broke me, Shin. I won't survive you leaving me again. I—

"I won't leave you again," Shin promised again. "Miki, you have my word. I will never leave you again. I won't, Miki. I'll say it over and over until you start believing me. I'm sorry for leaving you. I won't do it again. I promise. Please forgive me, because I can't live without you anymore."

Miki felt tears slide into his hair as Shin repeated his promises over and over, and like the fool he was, he believed it. He clung to Shin and cried because his stupid heart belonged to Shin no matter what, always Shin, only Shin.

"Don't cry," Shin whispered into his ear. "Please, baby, please."

Miki couldn't stop it. He cried hard. Shin holding him tight. When he calmed down a little, Shin captured his lips in a soft kiss, tasting his tears. Miki held on to Shin, his sobs subsiding into sniffles, Shin's comfort soothing the pain.

Shin rolled to his back, taking Miki with him, so that Miki was now on top of him. Shin ended the kiss and used his palms to wipe Miki's tears away.

"Better?" Shin asked, when Miki simply stared at him, thinking this a dream. "You must still love me to cry like this in front of me."

Miki wanted to protest, say he had stopped caring, but then the chain he kept around his neck slipped and revealed itself. Shin gasped, staring at the ring hanging from Miki's neck. Shin touched it, his lips curving in that beloved smile Miki remembered. The one that made his heart turn over. There was no lying to Shin, ever.

Shin brought his right hand up to cup Miki's jaw and that's when he saw it. Shin's ring, still on his finger where he had put it. Meeting Shin's gaze, he smiled.

"Can you never say you hate me again?" Shin asked in a whisper. "I can't bear it."

Miki chuckled and leaned to kiss Shin, a weight lifting off his shoulders.

****
Part 3 : Catching Up...and the Future

"You're not eating enough." Shin complained, his fingers tracing Miki's spine. They'd moved to Shin's bed. Miki slept on his stomach, hugging his pillow, his head turned to face Shin. Shin propped his head up, and continued trailing his fingers down Miki's back.

"I eat." Miki answered.

"You've lost weight."

"I was never big to begin with."

"You looked healthy." Shin pinched the curve of his right butt. "The wind might carry you now if you stand outside."

Miki groaned and scowled at Shin.

"I didn't hear you complaining a few minutes ago. Stripping me like a nympho, you dragged me to this bed way to eager for this skinny body of mine."

Shin smiled.

"That's a different matter."

Miki bit his lower lip when Shin traced his fingers along his crack, sinking them lower so that those seeking fingers found his sack. He moaned, arching into the touch.

"I've missed that," Shin said, leaning close, his gaze on Miki's lips. "I love the way you moan when I touch you."

Miki met Shin's wicked gaze.

"How many have you touched like this?"

Shin's fingers cupped his sack, and Miki shifted his legs, parting them to accommodate Shin's maddening exploration.

"Will you rage at me in jealousy?"

Miki moaned when Shin moved his fingers to his crack again, his thumb tracing his entrance.

"Should I?" Miki asked, biting his bottom lip.

"Depends," Shin shifted, kneeling on the space between Miki's open legs. His hands on Miki's hips, he urged him to his knees, and pressed a kiss on Miki's puckered entrance. "How many have you let touch you here?"

Miki buried his face in the pillow when Shin licked that most intimate spot. His cock hard, he moaned louder when Shin sunk two fingers into him, then three. Shin stroked in hard, fast, teasing him. Then Shin withdrew his fingers, and Miki moaned his protest.

"How many, Miki?"

"Must you ask?" Miki asked when he felt Shin's cock press against him. He arched his back, shifting back, wanting Shin to enter him. It had been so long, so long, he needed...needed to feel Shin inside him again.

"Does that mean you've had someone?" Shin asked, his fingers tightening on Miki's hips.

"I'm not a monk," Miki said, annoyed that Shin was teasing him. "What about you? How many have you taken?"

Shin cursed, and in the next instant entered Miki with a punishing stroke. Miki gave a harsh cry, the invasion too new and welcome at the same time. God, he'd forgotten how huge Shin felt inside him, how delicious the warring waves of pleasure and pain could be. Shin stroked into him hard, fast, his length sliding deep inside him. Miki met each one with growing bliss, fuck, he'd missed the way Shin took him. Shin always knew how to touch him, how to drive him to the edge so fast, he was clamoring for that wave of ecstasy.

Miki bit back a scream when he felt Shin's cock graze the knot of bundles inside him. When Shin hit it again, and again, he gave up on hiding his screams and gave in to the searing pleasure. Then Shin was coming inside him, the feel of his hot seed drove Miki to his own ecstasy.

Miki collapsed on the bed, smiling when Shin rested on his back, still inside him. They were both panting hard, then Shin swept Miki's damp hair away from his face and pressed a kiss on Miki's temple.

"Was I better than whoever you let touch you?" Shin asked.

Miki opened his eyes then.

"Yes."

"So there was someone?" Shin asked, his tone too quiet.

Miki nodded.

"It was superficial, Shin. I never let him in as I do with you."

"I need to know. Did you let him fuck you?" Shin asked.

Miki sighed.

"No, I didn't let him fuck me."

"Did you suck him off?"

"Shin—

"Did you?"

"Yes."

Shin cursed again.

"When?"

"Months ago," Miki replied. "What about you? How many, Shin?"

Shin kissed his shoulder and got off him. Miki mourned the loss of Shin's heat on his back. He watched Shin get off the bed and go into the bathroom. Minutes passed, then the toilet flushed and Shin returned holding a small white towel.

Miki closed his eyes when Shin proceeded to clean him up thoroughly. Shin didn't talk through the process, instead getting a fresh sheet from the bathroom. He urged Miki off the bed, handing him a pair of boxers.

Miki took them and wore them watching Shin make the bed in silence.

"Are you mad at me?" Miki asked, sitting in the closest armchair. "Like I said, it's not like we're monks. I didn't think we'd see each other—

Shin pulled on pajama pants and sat on the now neat bed to look at him.

"There's been four for me," Shin said. "The last one was three months ago. I cared for none of them."

Miki nodded and stared at the floor.

"I'm clean." Shin continued. "Health check-up last week."

Miki sighed. "Knowing is good. We were in different places—

"Promise me it's only me from now on," Shin cut in. "I know it's unreasonable, but I feel like I might kill that man you sucked off."

Miki glanced up then, annoyed.

"Should I say the same for the bastards you've apparently fucked?"

Shin stared at him, and then chuckled.

"God, it makes me happy to hear you sound so jealous."

Shin stood and pulled the covers back. He slid into the bed, moving to make space. He patted the space next to him and Miki got up and hurried to join him. Shin covered him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Your dad?" Miki asked, pressing his ear to Shin's chest. He closed his eyes, listening to Shin's heartbeat.

"I moved back home to take care of him, and it was pretty hard for a while. He's doing better now. Well enough for me to move out and leave him under the care of a nurse. My mother has convinced him to move to Jeju Island with her. I'll finally be free of his constant nagging."

"What about Shinjiru Coffee?" Miki asked. "Who takes care of it?"

"Hojun is running it, until Min can take over," Shin said. "Speaking of which, in the morning, can you call Min for me? Tell him I made it right between us. That punk is so loyal. He hasn't talked to me with civility since I broke your heart."

Miki smiled. "We'll make the call together."

"As for my dad," Shin sighed. "We have to be careful, Miki. He doesn't want to see us together, ever and I don't think he'll ever come around."

"I understand. My parents are not any easier," Miki said, tilting his head up to meet Shin's gaze. "They'll never accept us. I might never be able to introduce you to them as more than my good friend, Shin."

Shin exhaled and pressed a kiss on Miki's forehead.

"As long as you're mine, I'll face it all," Shin said holding him close.

"You left a roomful of investors at the party," Miki said, once again listening to Shin's steady heartbeat. He'd missed it. "Will your company be alright?"

Shin groaned.

"Not really. We need the money to break into the Japanese market."

Miki closed his eyes already making calculations. He was tied up in a few places, but there were people he could talk to.

"I can help."

"Miki."

"Let me help you," Miki said, holding Shin tighter. "I want to."

"How?" Shin asked.

"I'm not without means," Miki smiled. "While you've been building your company, I was working hard too."

"Tell me everything."

None of them noticed the time, caught up in a world all their own. Miki told Shin about his exploits in the past few years. He talked about his parents, Nobu and his sister. His nephew and niece. Shin told him about his movie, the artists HayaShin managed, and the future he hoped to create for the company. They talked and laughed through the night, neither noticing the sunrise, or the sunny day that followed, not even when it was night again.

They made love, called for food when they got hungry, talked some more...never once leaving Shin's room.

Miki's phone buzzed on the coffee table. Shin sat on the couch, with Min lying over him, both of them reading different parts of the morning paper. Miki reached for the gadget absently, turning on the hands free feature.

"Sir?" Suki sounded panicked.

"Calm down," Miki said, placing his newspaper on the coffee table, not moving from his comfortable spot. "What's wrong?"

"You haven't come home in two days, Sir," Suki exclaimed. "Where are you? I'm worried."

"I'm fine." Miki was amused by her worry.

"Mr. Ryoha called, he wanted to see you, but you weren't in. Your dad wanted to see you as well. There is a whole list of missed appointments. What do I tell them all?"

Miki sighed and looked at Shin. One glance and he knew Shin didn't want to end their time together just yet. Miki glanced at the date on Shin's phone.

"Suki, let everyone know I'll see them tomorrow morning," Miki said.

"Okay, but where are you?"

"Exactly where I want to be," Miki answered. "Also, compile a dossier on HayaShin entertainment. You know what to do."

"Yes Sir."

Suki ended the call and Shin dropped his newspaper on the coffee table too.

"Who is she?"

"Suki," Miki answered, reaching for his paper.

He blinked when Shin took it away from him and dumped it on the floor.

"She sounds overly fond of you," Shin said, shifting to his side, allowing Miki to lie on the couch. Shin pinned Miki on the couch. "Do you like her?"

Miki sunk his fingers into Shin's hair and tagged, messing up the unruly curls. He loved Shin's jealousies.

"She's good at what she does," Miki said. "I'm sure you have one too."

When Shin lifted his brow, Miki smiled.

"An assistant you can't live without."

Shin pressed a chaste kiss on Miki's lips.

"I want to see your place."

"Seeing this suite, is like seeing my place," Miki said. "I have made no attempts to make a home, Shin."

"Then move in with me," Shin said. "After Father's controlling behaviors ended, I've worked hard to build a place to call ours. I bought a house and renovated it. I want a home with you, Miki."

"Move to Seoul?" Miki asked, remembering Hojun had once asked him what he thought of moving to Seoul.

Shin touched Miki's lips with a finger. "Would you hate it?"

He'd lived the past five years hoping for Shin. Wishing that Shin would return to him. Now that he knew how hard it was to survive without Shin, the answer was pretty clear.

Miki smiled and lifted his arms above his head.

"Wanna go out on drive?" Miki asked. "We can use your fancy rental car."

"Miki."

"I'll answer your question when we get back from our drive. You explored Seoul with me, let's go out and explore Tokyo together."

"Then, will you give me your answer?" Shin asked.

"Absolutely," Miki said.

***

Miki and Shin ended up at the Sumida Park. Walking with Shin along the paths full of blooming cherry blossoms, Miki's felt happiness so deep it overflowed. The longer they spent time together, the more sure he got about his decision. He felt no remorse about making Seoul his home. Had long made the decision years ago, which was why it was so hard to accept living on his own here in Tokyo. He dared not think what would have happened if Shin hadn't come to Tokyo.

Shin stopped their progress with an arm around Miki's shoulders. Shin lifted his phone, taking a picture of them fast.

"I'll post it on Line," Shin said.

Miki leaned on the rail watching Shin, it lifted his heart, healed it where it had cracked and shriveled up.

"What did you write?" Miki asked, when Shin smiled.

Shin turned the screen to him. Shin had captioned their picture, 'My reason to live.'

Min's reaction was immediate. 'Finally!'

Miki laughed, throwing his head back and really laughing with happiness. When he caught his breath, he found Shin staring at him.

"God, you're beautiful."

Miki smiled and gave Shin his answer.

"I'll go home with you."

Shin gaped.

"I miss Min and Haesoo, Seoul too," Miki continued.

"What about your family?" Shin asked.

"Seoul is two hours away," Miki shrugged. "I can always visit them."

Shin grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug. Miki gasped, looking around them to see if anyone would notice. No one did, or cared. Not that it mattered. He'd long thrown his lot in with Shin. So, he closed his eyes and held Shin too, finally breathing easier.

"I love you," Shin said.

"I love you too," Miki said.

****

Miki's decision to move to Seoul once again shocked his parents, though they didn't protest as much as the first time. He brought Shin along to a small family lunch at his parents' house. When lunch was over, Miki made the announcement to his family. The excuse he gave was that he and Shin were going into business together. Shin helped explain, making the offer solid.

Miki's siblings and father took the decision in stride. Miki's mother though was a bit skeptic.

She pulled Miki to the kitchen, leaving Shin to answer the family's questions about Seoul. Claiming she needed Miki to help her clean up the dishes. Instead, she made Miki sit at the kitchen table.

"You found something in Seoul," she said.

Miki met her gaze surprised.

"Yes, something important."

"I figured," she said, with a nod. "You haven't been happy since you came back. Not when you graduated, not when you found a job, not when you quit to do your things. I worried. You haven't been happy until now."

"Mum."

"Does it have to do with Park Shin?"

Miki took her hand and squeezed. There was worry in her eyes. Worry for the choice he was making.

'I'll be happy with him. We'll have a good life together. He loves me.'

Miki wanted to say all these things to his mother, so that she would give him her blessing. Yet he knew it would only make things harder on her.

"He's a good man, Mum. I'll be fine in Seoul and I'll visit you often," Miki said, smiling at her.

His mother patted his hand and nodded. She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"You always knew what you wanted," she murmured. "Be happy, Miki."

And, that was that.

Miki kept his life so compact, that the only thing he needed to pack were his clothes. He met with Mr. Ryoha, and between him and Ryoha, Shin got the investment he needed for HayaShin. During his meeting with Mr. Ryoha, Miki also secured Suki a position with Ryoha Investments.

Suki was happy, while the pay was less than what he'd offered, she had the opportunity to rise higher. Gain more experience. With Suki settled, Miki was free.

Their flight to Seoul was on a Friday. A hotel porter too their luggage downstairs to the airport taxi. Shin walked with Miki, carrying both their carryon bags, passports and tickets. Miki paused at reception to finish checkout of his long-term stay. Then they headed to the airport.

"Are you nervous?" Shin asked, when they were at the airport lounge waiting to board their flight. "Will you miss Tokyo?"

Miki glanced at Shin.

"Not as much as I missed you, Shin. I doubt there is anything worse than the torture of not being with you. I never want to experience that again."

Shin tagged on his ear.

"Then let's go home."

Three hours later found them at the airport arrivals hall. Suddenly, Miki was engulfed in a tight hug.

Min had come to the airport to meet them. He jumped on Miki the moment they spotted each other.

"Oh my, you've gotten stronger," Miki said, rubbing Min's back. "How have you been kid?"

"Missed you so much," Min said, his voice muffled in Miki's shoulder. "I was so worried you'd never come back."

"I'm back," Miki promised. "Wanna let go now so that we can go home?"

"Not yet," Min said, still holding him tight.

"Let go of him, Min," Shin complained, trying to pull Min off.

"Shut up, you're the reason he was gone so long." Min grumbled, then reluctantly let go of Miki. "Miki, did you make him grovel?"

Miki chuckled, glancing at Shin.

"Should I have?"

"You should have," Min insisted. "If you didn't, I'll help you."

"You have a very vicious side," Shin told his brother. "Come on, I'll drive."

Min helped them with their suitcases. In minutes, they were on the highway, headed to Shin's house.

"Who is staying at the loft?" Miki asked when they didn't head to Itaewon. Glancing at the onboard navigation, he frowned when it seemed their destination was Pyeongchang-dong.

"Hojun's rented it out to a family with two kids," Min said.

Miki glanced at Shin.

"Min is staying at the house until Dad heads to Jeju. He is responsible for all things Park from now on," Shin answered before Miki could ask. "I wanted to concentrate on taking care of HayaShin."

Miki glanced back at Min.

"I heard you are going to run Shinjiru Coffee."

Min shrugged.

"Means I get to have a coffee whenever I want. You can come along too."

"Still spoiled," Miki said.

"Not like you're going to be," Min said. "This guy, while he's been acting like a douche, he has managed to own a rather nice place. Going on about how it is going to be your home. I'm envious."

"You can move in, Min, after Dad leaves to stay with mum, at anytime," Shin offered. The tone of his voice sounded as though he'd offered before and been turned down.

"Only if Miki asks," Min said with a scoff, sitting back.

Shin turned a pleading gaze to Miki.

"Min," Miki said, shifting to stare out the windows. "I bet you miss eating omelets."

"Will you make me one?" Min asked. "Although I have to head back to the library at Seoul University. I have a project to finish."

"I will make you one, if you let Shin move you into the house."

"That's blackmail," Min complained.

"Well?"

"How do I get around?" Min asked. "Shin's house is not close to school, you know."

"I'll drive you around," Shin said.

"No way," Min shook his head.

"He'll get you a car," Miki answered, smiling at Shin.

"Sweet," Min sat forward. "Miki, you're here to stay, right?"

"I'm wondering if I made a good decision," Miki said as Shin pulled into a quiet neighborhood. Shin drove a few minutes then stopped in front of a black gate.

"Why are you wondering?" Min asked, poking Miki's shoulder with a finger as the gates slid open quietly.

"It seems I've acquired a child in the process," Miki teased.

Min wrapped his arms around Miki from the back.

"I'm glad you're here. Please don't leave again. Shin will be unhappy."

Shin stopped the car in front of a handsome three-story house that boasted aqua-glass on the east side. No doubt to let in the sun. Secured with a high wall on the outside, with a live green fence on the inside. Miki could already imagine having friends over for a barbeque on the gorgeous lawn.

Min got out of the car first.

"What do you think?" Shin asked.

Miki caught the slight strain of nerves in Shin's tone.

He reached out and took Shin's hand.

"I love it already."

Miki fell in love with Shin's house, their home now. They spent a few hours exploring and making plans, when they got hungry, they went to the large spacious kitchen. Shin and Min helped him cut up vegetables and they made omelets. They ate and then Min had to go back to the city to finish his project at school. Shin handed him the keys to his car.

"What about you?" Min asked. "Don't you need to get to the office?"

"Not today," Shin said, nodding to Miki who was cleaning up their dishes at the sink.

Min laughed and left.

"So," Shin said, when they were in the living room.

Miki stood by the windows, staring out into the lawn, and the gardens that needed tending. Miki turned to face Shin, leaning on the glass.

"So," Miki said, when Shin came to stand in front of him.

"We're home."

Shin kissed Miki's forehead.

Miki wrapped his arms around Shin's waist and pulled him close.

"We are."

Miki smiled, meeting Shin's gaze.

"Happy?" Shin asked.

"More than I can ever say," Miki said, leaning up to kiss Shin.

Their kiss was sweet...marking the beginning of their lifetime of colorful adventure. Miki couldn't have asked for more, but then Shin held him tight and his heart squeezed tight, happiness overflowing. As it always did with Shin, and only with Shin.

***

Fin

###

About

Suilan loves writing romance stories. When she's not writing, she spends a great deal of time exploring Safaris with her two best friends, Scot and Moon. Read more of her books listed below, found on Smashwords, or  Barnes & Nobles.

Shorts

\- Do You Know?

\- Always You, Only You

\- Unexpected Gift of Love - Anthology

Novels

A Haunted Love

A Healing Heart

A Rescued Life

Electric Blue & Catnip

You Make Me...Crazy

Blu Dream

Kiss Me to Spring Time

Bovian Image

Love (Ai)

That Dog, Young Jae

The Precious Teahouse

