IN 1989, OUR FIRST GUEST WENT ON
A FATEFUL DATE WITH A CHARMING 
MUSLIM IMMIGRANT FROM KENYA AND 
HAD NO IDEA THAT IT WOULD ONE 
DAY LEAD TO HER BEING FIRST LADY
OF THE UNITED STATES.
YOU CAN READ ALL ABOUT HER 
HISTORY-MAKING LIFE IN THIS NEW 
MEMOIR CALLED "BECOMING."
PLEASE SAY HELLO TO MICHELLE 
OBAMA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YOU SEE -- YOU SEE 
HOW -- 
>> I'M GOING TO CRY.
>> Jimmy: YOU SEE HOW MUCH WE 
MISS YOU?
I MEAN, WE REALLY -- WHERE DID 
YOU GO?
>> WE'RE HERE.
WE'RE JUST, YOU KNOW, WE'RE IN 
ANOTHER HOUSE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
WE NEED YOU BACK IN THE OLD 
HOUSE.
>> WELL, THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE 
LIVING THERE.
>> Jimmy: HOW IS UNEMPLOYMENT 
GOING?
ARE YOU EMBRACING IT?
>> YEAH, IT'S GOING OKAY AND I 
WAS JUST TRYING TO THINK OF WHAT
WE'VE BEEN DOING, BUT 
TRUTHFULLY, WE'RE BORING.
YOU KNOW?
WE HAVE A TEENAGER AT HOME, AND 
SHE MAKES US FEEL INADEQUATE 
EVERY DAY.
>> Jimmy: NICE.
>> SO, OUR SELF-ESTEEM IS LOW.
>> Jimmy: CAN I TELL YOU HOW WE 
FEEL?
WE FEEL LIKE -- DO YOU REMEMBER 
THE FIRST SUPERMAN MOVIE, 
CHRISTOPHER REEVE, WHEN HE GAVE 
UP HIS POWERS TO SAVE LOIS 
LANE'S LIFE AND THEN HE WAS 
POWERLESS AND THEN HE GOT BEAT 
UP IN A DINER AND HE HAD TO GET 
HIS POWERS BACK TO COME SAVE US 
FROM LEX LUTHOR.
THAT'S WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU AND
YOUR HUSBAND.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> WELL, THERE'S THIS THING 
CALLED THE CONSTITUTION.
>> Jimmy: WE'VE DISPENSED WITH 
THAT ALREADY, HAVEN'T WE?
WHAT IS HE DOING RIGHT NOW?
LIKE, RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS HE 
DOING?
>> MY HUSBAND?
>> Jimmy: YES.
>> OH, HE'S PROBABLY IN HIS HOLE
IN OUR NEW HOUSE.
>> Jimmy: IN HIS OFFICE?
>> WRITING.
HE'S WORKING ON HIS BOOK.
>> Jimmy: WHEN I WAS READING 
ABOUT YOU MENTIONING IN YOUR 
BOOK THAT HIS OFFICE IS MESSY 
AND DISORGANIZED, IT GAVE ME 
LICENSE TO HAVE A MESSY AND 
DISORGANIZED OFFICE BECAUSE MY 
WIFE -- 
>> WAS IT LIKE THAT BEFORE?
>> Jimmy: IT'S A DISASTER BUT 
NOW I FEEL LIKE, THE PRESIDENT 
DOES THAT TOO.
>> GOOD.
CLEAN UP YOUR OFFICE.
>> Jimmy: IT SEEMS TO ME -- 
>> IT'S ANNOYING.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU SENDING A 
MESSAGE?
>> I'M HERE FOR MOLLY.
>> Jimmy: TO YOUR HUSBAND 
THROUGH ME?
>> NO, GET YOUR STUFF TOGETHER.
>> Jimmy: I WISH I COULD.
I REALLY DO.
IT APPEARS BASED ON SOCIAL MEDIA
THAT YOU ARE REALLY FOLLOWING 
BEYONCE AROUND THE COUNTRY, 
GOING TO HER CONCERTS.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: IS THAT WHAT'S 
HAPPENING NOW?
>> IT'S AN EXCELLENT ACTIVITY.
>> Jimmy: BESIDES YOUR HUSBAND 
AND DAUGHTERS, WITH WHICH 
CELEBRITY DO YOU TEXT MOST 
OFTEN?
>> OH.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S -- I'M NOT 
GOING TO TELL YOU, BECAUSE THEN,
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T 
TEXT AND TELL.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT A THING.
THAT'S NOT -- YOU JUST MADE THAT
UP.
>> I HAD DEPENDS ON WHAT'S GOING
ON, LATELY, BECAUSE OPRAH KICKED
OFF THE BOOK TOUR, AND SHE WAS 
AN EARLY READER.
I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF 
TEXTING.
GAIL IS A WORRIER, SO A LOT OF 
TIMES SHE'LL CALL, LIKE, WHAT 
THE -- 
>> Jimmy: OH REALLY?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: OPRAH AND GAIL.
THAT'S PRETTY SOLID.
>> THOSE TWO.
>> Jimmy: YOU SAID BARACK IS 
WORKING ON HIS BOOK RIGHT NOW.
DID YOU GUYS EVER HAVE A 
SITUATION WHERE YOU FIGHT OVER 
AN ANECDOTE?
LIKE I WANTED THAT FOR MY BOOK.
>> SINCE MY BOOK WAS FIRST, HE 
LOST ON ALL THAT.
>> Jimmy: YOU GET FIRST DIBS ON 
ALL THAT.
>> ON ALL THE GOOD STUFF.
>> Jimmy: AND WOULD IT CAUSE A 
RIFT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP IF 
OPRAH DOESN'T PUT HIS BOOK IN 
HER BOOK CLUB?
BECAUSE SHE DID IT WITH YOURS.
>> IT MIGHT HURT HIS FEELINGS 
BUT HE'LL GET OVER IT.
>> Jimmy: THE BOOK IS NUMBER ONE
ON AMAZON.
THAT'S GOT TO BE AN EXCITING 
THING FOR YOU.
>> THAT'S CRAZY.
>> Jimmy: BY A LOT, I WOULD 
IMAGINE.
WAS IT FUN TO WRITE THE BOOK?
>> IT WAS MORE FUN THAN I 
THOUGHT.
BECAUSE HERE'S THE THING.
RARELY DOES ANYBODY GET TIME, 
AND THEY GET PAID TO REFLECT.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S TRUE.
>> AND REFLECTING, I FIND, IS 
VERY IMPORTANT, BECAUSE THE 
TRUTH IS, FOR THE LAST DECADE, 
THERE WAS NO TIME TO EVEN REALLY
THINK ABOUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED 
TO US.
YOU KNOW, I WRITE ABOUT THE FACT
THAT, YOU KNOW, THE WEEK WOULD 
START, SOMETHING AMAZING WOULD 
HAPPEN, AND THEN BY THE END OF 
THE WEEK, I WOULD HAVE FORGOTTEN
ALL ABOUT THAT OTHER AMAZING 
THING.
I MEAN, OUR DAYS WERE FULL.
WE WERE JUST INUNDATED.
SO, COMING OUT OF THE WHITE 
HOUSE, YOU NEEDED THAT TIME TO 
TAKE STOCK AND SAY, WHAT JUST 
HAPPENED?
WHAT WAS THAT?
AND THIS BOOK ALLOWED ME TO DO 
THAT AND TO REALLY UNDERSTAND 
WHAT THOSE EIGHT YEARS MEANT TO 
ME, PERSONALLY, AND HOW IT FIT 
INTO THE CONTEXT OF THE REST OF 
MY LIFE.
SO, THAT WAS SOMETHING I NEEDED.
IT WAS THERAPEUTIC FOR ME.
>> Jimmy: AND SUCH A BIG PART OF
YOUR FAMILY, YOUR DAUGHTERS 
BEING SO YOUNG WHEN -- HOW OLD 
WERE YOUR DAUGHTERS ON THE DAY 
YOU STARTED LIVING IN THE WHITE 
HOUSE?
>> THEY WERE 7 AND 10, AND I 
HOPE I GET THAT RIGHT, BECAUSE 
THAT'S -- 
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> BUT THEY LIVED IN THE WHITE 
HOUSE LONGER THAN THEY LIVED IN 
ANY HOUSE THAT WE LIVED IN.
>> Jimmy: YOUR MOM MOVED IN, 
LIVED THERE THE WHOLE EIGHT 
YEARS WITH YOU.
>> RELUCTANTLY, BUT SHE STAYED.
SHE TRIED TO GET OUT.
IT'S LIKE, NOPE, LOCK THE DOORS.
>> Jimmy: AND WHAT YEAR DID SHE 
TRY TO GET OUT?
HOW FAR IN?
>> YOU KNOW, SHE FELT LIKE BY 
THE TIME SHE WASN'T TAKING THE 
GIRLS TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY, THEY 
WERE BOTH IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, SHE 
THOUGHT, I CAN GO, RIGHT?
AND I WAS LIKE, NO, NOT YET.
SO WE LET HER GO HOME IN THE 
SUMMER.
IT'S LIKE, YOU CAN HAVE A SUMMER
BREAK BUT YOU GOT TO COME BACK 
AND I WOULD CALL HER, LIKE, 
YOU'RE COMING BACK, RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: IF AND WHEN SASHA OR 
MALIA BECOME PRESIDENT OF THE 
UNITED STATES.
>> OH, GOSH, THAT WILL NEVER 
HAPPEN.
>> Jimmy: DON'T SAY THAT.
DON'T SAY NEVER.
>> I CAN SAY NEVER WITH THOSE 
TWO.
>> Jimmy: YOU WOULD NOT MOVE IN 
WITH THEM OR WOULD YOU MOVE IN 
WITH THEM TO HELP THEM?
>> I WOULD.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE TO NOW.
>> WELL, IF THEY HAD KIDS.
I MEAN, THAT'S THE ONLY -- MY 
MOTHER WASN'T HELPING ME.
SHE WAS HELPING HER 
GRANDCHILDREN.
>> Jimmy: GOT YOU.
I UNDERSTAND.
>> I WOULD, BECAUSE THEY WOULD 
NEED THE HELP.
>> Jimmy: DID THE WHITE HOUSE 
DOG KNOW HE WAS THE WHITE HOUSE 
DOG?
>> HE ACTED LIKE HE DID.
HE'S AN ODD -- HE'S AN ODD DOG, 
BECAUSE -- AND BARACK, YOU KNOW,
HE CRITICIZES BO A LITTLE BIT 
BECAUSE HE IS ODD.
HE HAS AN ALOOFNESS TO HIM.
IT'S ALMOST SORT OF LIKE, DON'T 
TOUCH ME.
I AM A BO.
DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
HE WOULD PRANCE AROUND THE WHITE
HOUSE.
HE HAD A SCHEDULE.
BOTH THE DOGS DID.
THEY WOULD GET PICKED UP.
>> Jimmy: AN OFFICIAL SCHEDULE?
>> YEAH, I WOULD DO BRIEFING 
REQUESTS FOR THEM.
THEY HAD TO GET MY PERMISSION, 
BUT I WOULD FIND, YOU KNOW, IN 
MY BRIEFING BOOK, IT WOULD BE, 
CAN BO AND SONNY STOP BY THIS 
PRESS EVENT AT 2:30.
THERE WOULD BE A TIME.
AND I HAD TO APPROVE OF IT.
SO THEY'D GET PICKED UP AND 
THEY'D HANG OUT WITH THE 
GARDENERS FOR THE DAY AND WHEN 
THEY WERE AT HOME, THEY WERE 
MOMMY'S DOGS, BUT IF THEY WERE 
WORKING WITH THE FELLAS, THEY 
WOULD IGNORE ME.
DON'T TOUCH ME.
I'M AT WORK.
I'M BUSY.
>> Jimmy: ONE OF THE MOST 
INTERESTING THINGS I LEARNED 
FROM YOUR BOOK IS THAT THE 
PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY, 
FAMILY, YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR
FOOD WHILE YOU'RE IN THE WHITE 
HOUSE.
>> YEAH.
GO FIGURE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S CRAZY TO ME.
>> WELL, IT IS AND IT ISN'T.
IT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW IT 
AND MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT 
IT'S LIKE TO LIVE IN THE WHITE 
HOUSE.
ONLY 45 FAMILIES HAVE DONE IT.
BUT TRUTH -- RENT IS FREE, STAFF
IS FREE, YOU KNOW, WE SHOULDN'T 
BE MOOCHING OFF OF THE 
TAXPAYERS.
>> Jimmy: SO YOU'RE OKAY WITH 
THAT?
>> YEAH, BUT IT'S A LITTLE 
SHOCKING BECAUSE NOBODY REALLY 
TELLS YOU THIS STUFF AND THEN 
THEY LET YOU GET WHATEVER YOU 
WANT, LIKE, IF YOU SAY YOU WANT 
SOME EXOTIC FRUIT, YES, MA'AM, 
WE'LL GET THAT RIGHT AWAY, AND 
THEN YOU GET THE BILL FOR A 
PEACH AND IT'S LIKE, THAT WAS A 
$500 PEACH.
YOU KNOW?
I WOULD TELL BARACK, BARACK, DO 
NOT EXPRESS PLEASURE FOR 
ANYTHING UNTIL -- UNLESS I KNOW 
HOW MUCH IT COSTS.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> SO, THEY'RE VERY RESPONSIVE 
AT YOUR EXPENSE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> BUT I -- IN ALL FAIRNESS, 
IT'S LIKE THE TAXPAYERS 
SHOULDN'T -- IF WE WANT A 
CERTAIN KIND OF JAM OR JELLY, WE
SHOULD PAY FOR THAT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, BUT IF YOU'RE 
GOING SMUCKERS, IT SHOULD BE 
FREE.
WE'RE GOING TO GET INTO OTHER 
IMPORTANT THINGS THAT ARE IN 
THIS BOOK.
THE BOOK IS CALLED "BECOMING."
MICHELLE OBAMA IS HERE WITH US.
MICHELLE OBAMA IS HERE.
CLETO, I DO WANT TO SAY, 
MRS. OBAMA GAVE YOU GUYS A VERY 
NICE COMPLIMENT DURING THE 
BREAK.
AND YOU MENTIONED IN THE BOOK 
THE FIRST ALBUM YOU EVER BOUGHT 
WAS STEVIE WONDER.
>> MY GRANDFATHER, SOUTH SIDE.
>> Jimmy: SOUTH SIDE OR WAS IT 
EAST SIDE?
>> HE WAS -- IT WAS WEST SIDE.
ME AND MY BROTHER DISTINGUISHED 
BETWEEN MY MATERNAL GRANDFATHER 
AND MY PATERNAL GRANDFATHER.
ONE LIVED ON THE SOUTH SIDE AND 
ONE LIVED ON THE WEST SIDE AND 
HE WAS WEST SIDE UNTIL HE MOVED 
TO THE SOUTH SIDE AND BECAME 
SOUTH SIDE.
YOU CAN READ ALL ABOUT IT.
>> Jimmy: IF YOU WANTED TO GET 
SOMEONE IN YOUR HUSBAND'S 
ADMINISTRATION FIRED, HOW WOULD 
YOU -- 
>> WHY -- WHY DO YOU ASK?
>> Jimmy: JUST CURIOUS.
JUST WONDERING IF THERE'S 
SOMEBODY THAT RUBBED YOU THE 
WRONG WAY, WOULD YOU SEND THEM A
LETTER?
>> WE HAD WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN 
OUR ADMINISTRATION.
>> Jimmy: AND YOU NEVER HAD A 
SITUATION LIKE THAT.
>> NOT ONCE.
>> Jimmy: NOT EVEN ONCE.
I DON'T BELIEVE THAT FOR A 
SECOND.
BUT WE PLAY A GAME ALMOST EVERY 
DAY HERE AT OUR SHOW, AND THEN 
MY WIFE AND I PLAY IT AT HOME.
THE GAME IS -- DOESN'T REALLY 
HAVE A TITLE, BUT IT'S BASICALLY
CALLED, WHAT IF OBAMA HAD DONE 
THIS?
>> OH, GOD, WE PLAY THAT AT HOME
TOO.
>> Jimmy: YOU DO?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT WAS REALLY MY QUESTION.
DO YOU PLAY THAT ONE AT HOME?
>> YES.
QUITE OFTEN.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU'VE SAID 
REPEATEDLY YOU WILL NOT RUN FOR 
OFFICE, BUT HAS ANYONE EVER 
REALLY, LIKE SERIOUSLY 
APPROACHED YOU AND TRIED TO 
CONVINCE YOU TO RUN FOR OFFICE?
>> ALL THE TIME.
>> Jimmy: LIKE, I MEAN -- I'M 
SURE -- I'M TALKING ABOUT, LIKE,
THE HEAD OF THE COMMITTEE OR 
BARACK OR HILLARY OR SOMEBODY 
LIKE THAT.
>> NO, BARACK KEEPS THOSE PEOPLE
AWAY FROM ME.
>> Jimmy: HE DOES.
>> YEAH.
NO, I'VE NEVER HAD ANY SERIOUS 
CONVERSATIONS WITH ANYONE ABOUT 
IT, BECAUSE IT'S NOT SOMETHING 
THAT I'M INTERESTED IN.
OR WOULD EVER DO.
EVER.
>> Jimmy: YOU SAID SOMETHING 
VERY INTERESTING, I THOUGHT, 
ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND IN YOUR BOOK 
IS THAT ON HIGH-PRESSURE DAYS, 
HE WOULD BE AT HIS MOST RELAXED 
AND HE WOULD BE THE FRIENDLIEST 
ON THOSE DAYS.
WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS?
>> ON HIS BUSIEST DAYS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> BECAUSE THAT -- THAT'S WHAT 
FUELS HIM.
HE'S A GRINDER, YOU KNOW?
I THINK -- AND YOU KNOW, I THINK
HE FEELS MOST FULFILLED WHEN 
HE'S FULL, WHEN HIS PLATE IS 
FULL.
I CALL HIM A PLATE SPINNER, YOU 
KNOW, THOSE JUGGLERS THAT KEEP 
SPINNING THOSE PLATES AND IF ONE
IS STARTING TO WOBBLE, HE SPINS 
IT AND IF EVERYTHING'S GOING 
OKAY THEN HE'LL PUT ANOTHER 
PLATE UP.
I THINK HE GET HIS ENERGY -- 
>> Jimmy: IS HE DOING THAT AT 
HOME NOW, LIKE LITERALLY WITH 
THE CHINA?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: HE IS NOT DOING THAT 
AT HOME.
DO YOU HAVE A SECRET, LIKE, 
INSTAGRAM OR FACEBOOK OR PAGE 
LIKE THAT?
>> WELL, IF I TOLD YOU, IT 
WOULDN'T BE A SECRET.
NO, I DON'T.
I MEAN, I'M BARELY GOOD AT THAT 
STUFF ANYWAY.
I MEAN, I HAVE AN INSTAGRAM 
ACCOUNT AND A TWITTER ACCOUNT, 
OBV
OBVIOUSLY, BUT YOU KNOW, I HAVE 
TO GET PERMISSION TO USE IT FROM
MY STAFF.
>> Jimmy: I SEE.
>> THEY DON'T TRUST ME WITH IT.
>> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF 
PERMISSION, IN THE BOOK, YOU 
TALKED ABOUT THREE KIDS.
ONE OF THEM WAS A GIRL NAMED 
DIDI WHO YOU FOUGHT, SHE WAS A 
BULLY AND YOU FOUGHT HER.
>> MY FIRST FIGHT.
>> Jimmy: THEN THERE WAS A 
BOYFRIEND YOU SMOKED POT WITH 
AND THEN THERE WAS A BOYFRIEND 
THAT YOU BROKE UP WITH BECAUSE 
HIS GOAL, HIS CAREER GOAL, WAS 
TO BECOME A MASCOT FOR, LIKE, 
THE CLEVELAND BROWNS OR 
SOMETHING.
RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: NOW, DO YOU CALL THOSE
PEOPLE BEFOREHAND OR REACH OUT 
TO THEM IN SOME WAY TO GO, GUESS
WHAT?
>> NO, NO.
NO, I DID -- AND I DIDN'T USE 
LAST NAMES FOR THAT REASON, 
ALTHOUGH SOME PEOPLE WILL KNOW 
WHO THEY ARE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT.
>> SO IT'S UP TO THEM TO OUT 
THEMSELVES.
BUT I DID GIVE BOOKS TO -- SEND 
BOOKS TO EVERYBODY WITH KIND OF 
A NICE NOTE LIKE, THANK YOU FOR 
HELPING ME BECOME.
OKAY.
>> Jimmy: DID DIDI GET A BOOK?
>> I THINK SO.
WE'RE TRYING TO TRACK EVERYBODY 
DOWN, SO -- BECAUSE THESE ARE 
PEOPLE -- YOU KNOW, THIS WAS IN 
CHILDHOOD.
THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN YESTERDAY.
I WASN'T FIGHTING IN THE 
BACKYARD.
IT WAS WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID 
SO IT TAKES A SECOND TO FIND 
EVERYBODY.
SO I'M NOT SURE IF EVERYBODY'S 
GOTTEN A BOOK, BUT WE TRIED TO 
GET EVERYBODY A BOOK.
>> Jimmy: GOT YOU.
>> AND THEN IF THEY CALL AND 
THEY WANT TO FIGHT AGAIN BECAUSE
OF -- 
>> Jimmy: THEN PAY PER VIEW.
YOU HAD TO BE VERY CAREFUL WHEN 
YOU'RE A FIRST LADY.
I SPOKE TO YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT 
THIS ALSO, BECAUSE HE JOKES 
AROUND A LOT, BUT THEN YOU 
REALIZE, LIKE, OH, I HAVE TO 
MAYBE REEL IT IN BECAUSE OF THE 
POSITION I HAVE.
BUT YOU'RE NOT FIRST LADY 
ANYMORE.
>> I AM NOT.
>> Jimmy: AND AS FAR AS I'M 
CONCERNED, YOU CAN CUT LOOSE AND
REALLY SAY ANYTHING NOW, RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: SO WHAT I'VE DONE IS 
I'VE GOT A SERIES OF CARDS HERE.
>> WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
>> Jimmy: I'VE WRITTEN SOME 
THINGS DOWN AND IF YOU ARE -- 
>> YOU'VE WRITTEN SOME STUFF 
DOWN.
>> Jimmy: IF YOU'RE GAME FOR 
THIS, MAYBE HERE ARE SOME THINGS
THAT YOU CAN SAY.
>> YOU WANT ME TO LOOK AT THOSE 
CARDS AND JUST READ -- 
>> Jimmy: DON'T LOOK AT THEM.
JUST READ WHAT I WROTE.
START WITH THAT ONE.
AND LOOK AT THE CAMERA RIGHT 
THERE SO WE FEEL -- LOOK AT THAT
ONE.
SORRY.
YEAH.
>> I'VE NEVER EATEN A VEGETABLE.
>> Jimmy: I KNEW IT.
I KNEW IT.
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THE WHOLE EIGHT YEARS WE WERE IN
THE WHITE HOUSE, WE USED LAURA 
BUSH'S NETFLIX PASSWORD.
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
WOW.
A REVELATION.
>> LAURA, SORRY.
SEND ME THE BILLS.
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO.
>> I'M NOT SURE WHICH ONE'S 
SASHA AND WHICH ONE'S MALIA.
YOU KNOW, THEY AGREE.
THEY GET SO MAD EVERY TIME I 
MESS THEIR NAMES UP.
I'M LIKE, WHO ARE YOU.
>> Jimmy: PART OF BEING A 
PARENT.
>> THE GAME THAT SASHA PLAYS 
WITH ME IS THAT WHEN WE'RE WITH 
A LOT OF PEOPLE, SHE'LL CALL ME 
MOM, MOM, MOM, AND I DON'T HEAR 
AND SHE'S LIKE, MICHELLE.
MICHELLE OBAMA.
AND I LOOK UP AND SHE'S LIKE, 
SEE?
>> Jimmy: COUPLE MORE.
THESE ARE IMPORTANT.
>> I STOLE THE PHRASE, WHEN THEY
GO LOW, WE GO HIGH FROM THE BACK
OF A SNAPPLE CAP.
>> Jimmy: TWO MORE.
>> BARRY, BE QUIET AND HOLD MY 
PURSE.
>> Jimmy: AND YOUR FINAL 
OUTRAGEOUS STATEMENT TO MAKE NOW
THAT YOU'RE NO LONGER FIRST 
LADY.
>> CLOONEY IS MY FREEBIE.
>> Jimmy: MICHELLE OBAMA, 
EVERYONE.
THIS IS HER BOOK, "BECOMING."
IT IS AVAILABLE NOW.
