(lively country music)
- Here we are, okay,
good afternoon RubyConf!
(scattered applause)
Nothing okay.
The next half hour is going
to be an interactive segment
which means you in the
audience are just as much
a part of it as us five on stage.
So when I say, "Good afternoon RubyConf,"
I would like you to reply in kind.
So let's try this again,
good afternoon RubyConf!
(applause and cheers)
That'll do, right.
My name is Andrew Faraday,
and you may have already picked up
that I am not from this land
between sea and shining sea,
not sure which is which.
(laughter)
I am from a dim and distant
place called England,
and in England,
we have these things called panel games.
Now this is,
it's kind of like a game show,
but unlike game shows, it's not about
a problem being solved or
a question being answered.
In panel games we play with
language and with ideas
and the way the panelists
use these things.
The one we're about to play
is called Just a Minute,
and each round of it, I'm going
to select one of the panel
and give them a Ruby related topic,
and they'll be asked to speak about it
for one minute,
which should be easy for seasoned speakers
such as these.
However, there are
things they must not do.
They must avoid hesitation,
repetition, and deviation,
which makes it hard to finish a sentence
in the English language, without
doing one of those things.
So, for that reason, it is a terrifying
and very difficult game.
So I would like you all to
show all the encouragement
you can to this panel.
If you believe somebody has done well,
by all means put your hands together,
raise your voice, let them know.
The game involves challenges,
where the panelists challenge each other,
based on whether they think
the rules have been broken.
And they're a bit subjective,
so if you think a challenge is harsh,
by all means let us know that as well.
Okay, there's one more,
third piece of audience interaction
that I'll be asking for,
and this is by far the most important.
The show starts on all occasions
with the same declaration
of welcome to the show,
and then some piano music, the same theme,
so when that piano music kicks in,
I want you all to kindly
put your hands together
and raise the roof,
'cause that is how we know the game is on.
Are we ready RubyConf?
(applause)
Welcome to Just a Minute!
(piano music)
(applause)
That is right, good afternoon,
and welcome to a very
special Just a Ruby Minute
here in San Antonio,
Texas, for RubyConf 2015.
My name is Andrew Faraday,
and I'm going to be serving
up a slice of British culture
in the form of the game
we call Just a Minute.
In each round of this game,
I'm going to select one of
these witty, insightful,
and, of course, terrified individuals
currently arrayed around me,
and giving them a Ruby related topic.
They will then attempt to
speak about it for 60 seconds,
which should be easy,
but the other panelists
will be listening intently,
ready to interrupt, and
steal the topic from them,
if they detect any hint of hesitation,
including long pauses or hedging noises,
repetition of words other than the title
that panelist has used in this round,
or deviation where they are simply
no longer talking about the
topic they have been provided.
If they detect these rules being broken,
they can challenge by
pressing their buzzers,
somebody buzz for me.
(buzz)
Right, you'll notice
the timer has stopped,
and one of our panelists has turned green.
(laughter)
I will ascertain the
nature of their challenge,
and if it's correct they'll gain a point,
and then they will take
the topic and the timer
and be allowed to speak
until the minute has elapsed
or they are in turn challenged.
If the challenge is incorrect,
then I'll give a point
to the original speaker,
and give it back to them.
Whoever is speaking at
the end of any minute,
which sounds a little bit like,
wait a second, two seconds.
(air horn)
Will gain a point for speaking
at the end of that round.
Which means, that's the rules,
all very simple, let's meet the panel.
Okay, on my far left we have a developer
at Fun and Plausible Solutions,
a member of the Rspec-core team,
who has been on the show once before,
so a Ruby Jam veteran, please welcome
Sam Phippen.
(applause)
Also on my left,
we have got a member of both
the Ruby and Rails core teams
at the. (groans)
I'll start again, we're
currently working at Red Hat
and the founder of the Friday
Hug we all enjoy so much,
please welcome
Aaron Patterson.
(applause)
To my right is a developer
at Fun and Plausible.
- No.
- I don't work there.
- Sorry Kinsey.
- GoSpotCheck.
- GoSpotCheck!
(laughter)
A huge part of Kumbo and Bridge Foundry,
also on her second Just a Ruby Minute,
so a veteran of the game, please welcome,
Kinsey Ann Durham.
(applause)
And last up, we have a
designer and Rails developer
working from Brighton, England,
the organizer of the
Brighton Ruby Conference,
where this event first found its voice,
father of twins, the terminally exhausted,
Andy Croll.
(applause)
Let's crack right on.
Sam you are first up to speak.
Your topic is my first application.
Now, I said, you can
repeat the topic title.
This is Tech Jam,
so you can also use
short forms of the title,
you may also say app
as much as you please.
You ready Sam?
(laughter)
There are loads of people
waiting to hear you speak,
it's gonna be awesome, right?
(laughter)
- Alright.
- Okay, you have sixty
seconds, starting now.
- My first application,
wasn't actually a Ruby
on Rails application--
(buzz)
- Andy?
- No, that was a mistake.
I was excited.
(laughter)
- To be clear on the rules,
application is part of the title.
- Exactly, as I pressed
the button I realized that.
- Okay, I'm going to
let you off, that one.
- Can't you give him a negative point?
- Oh really?
- It's just very exciting.
- It is very exciting.
And terrifying.
Okay, Sam I'm going to
let you carry on though,
with 55 seconds starting now.
So I had this PHP app I was working on,
and it was something of a train wreck.
The best part was the--
(buzz)
- Kinsey?
- [Kinsey] Hesitation.
- Yes, that was definite
hesitation there, so...
- Harsh.
- Kinsey I'm giving you a point.
(laughter)
You're the only one that thinks so.
(laughter)
- And yet.
- Okay Kinsey, you have
46 seconds starting now.
- The first application that I built was
a dog park finder.
I am obsessed with Harley,
I have a tattoo with her paw prints.
She is awesome.
She is my best friend and--
(buzz)
- Sam?
- Repetition of "she?"
- Yes.
- [Kinsey] Isn't that
an article though?
- No.
- Did I say it more than twice?
- You said, "she is," twice,
which is very similar.
(grumbles)
I'm giving that to Sam.
Okay, thirty seconds,
you're back with Sam Phippen
for thirty seconds, starting now.
- I think a lot of developers
when they get started
on their first application,
can feel a sense of abject terror.
The responsibility of writing code
that is going to
eventually face a customer
can be very, very daunting--
(buzz)
- Yes!
- Kinsey?
(laughter)
- I did that in the practice as well.
- Yes.
- Such hyperbole.
- Kinsey, your challenge?
- Yeah, repetition of "very."
- Repetition of "very."
Not a hard challenge to keep.
Okay, so it's back with you for 15 seconds
on my first application starting now.
- My first application that I built was--
(buzz)
- That's repetition of "built" isn't it?
- Built, yes, repetition of
"built," from earlier on.
(laughter)
That was almost exactly the same sentence
you said before.
Okay, Andy, you have 12
seconds starting now.
- The first application that I built,
(buzz)
was a PHP app--
- [Kinsey] Hesitation.
- About dog food.
- It was hesitation.
- I did not hear hesitation.
- No, I disagree.
- He spoke through the laughter
which is completely right.
- He paused though.
- He went through the laughter.
- Okay, does pause for applause not count?
- He didn't pause for applause though,
he spoke straight through it.
- I plowed on through.
- Alright.
- So, Andy I'm giving you
the point for the challenge,
and eight seconds starting now.
- My first application on Ruby on Rails
was a masterpiece in unprepared mess--
(air horn)
- That was hesitation!
(applause)
- That's Andy Croll, currently in the lead
after round one.
Yes it was hesitation,
but nobody buzzed in time.
- Whew!
- Okay, Aaron you are
first up to speak next.
- Oh no.
(laughter)
- Awesome, your topic is
my favorite text editor.
My favorite text editor,
Aaron Patterson, 60 seconds, starting now.
- My favorite text editor
is not TextMate or Emacs
or Vim or ed--
(buzz)
- Sam?
- Repetition of "or."
- Yeah, that was three "or"s there.
(laughter)
If you had not said "or,"
that would have been amazing, by the way.
(laughter)
Okay Sam, you have 51 seconds
on my favorite text editor,
starting now.
- Vim for life.
(buzz)
(laughter)
- Yeah, say it into the mic.
- Oh, hesitation, sorry.
- Hesitation, yes.
Okay, Kinsey you have 49
seconds, starting now.
- I also like Vim.
Right now I am using a text editor
called RubyMine though
and it's really slow,
and the debugger is shit,
but you know it's still
a great product at times,
and I can easily--
(buzz)
- Sam?
- Repetition of "and."
- There was a lot of "and"s there.
- That's harsh, can we
get some boos on that.
Boo!
(crowd booing)
- I did say let him know.
(laughter)
- They started booing me
after three rounds last time as well.
It's great.
- [Andrew] Just about there.
Yeah.
However, it was correct.
It was harsh, but...
(laughter)
I'm giving that to Sam,
so thirty one seconds starting now.
- In all seriousness,
I think it's acceptable
to use different text editors
depending on the language,
framework, or system
that you're working in.
It's often the case that
sometimes you want an IE,
sometimes you want--
(buzz)
- Repetition of "sometimes."
- "Sometimes," correct.
Aaron Patterson gets a point!
(applause)
- I got one!
(laughter)
- So that is 18 seconds
back with you Aaron
on my favorite text editor,
(laughter)
starting now.
- My favorite text editor,
is the text editor that
I like to use every single
day, including weekdays,
sometimes I use it on weekends,
but that's when I'm just coding for fun.
I think that using a text
editor is an important part of--
(air horn)
(applause)
- Okay, that's the end of round two
and it is anybody's game.
(laughter)
Currently we have a
three-way tie with three,
and Aaron Patterson with two.
Kinsey, you're up next to speak,
we've got a technical topic,
concurrency for you.
One minute on concurrency starting now.
- I wish I knew more about concurrency,
so I could talk about it
intelligently while I'm up here
in front of tons of people.
So this is a little embarrassing,
but not really,
because I can just talk about something
related to concurrency,
but not have to technically explain it.
And I might know more about it
if I had a background in computer science,
or went to a coding school.
I'm sure they teach that there.
There are two coding schools
(buzz)
in Denver--
- Sam?
- I'm gonna call hesitation.
- Yeah, that was a very elongated "are."
And she hesitated.
- No, I was--
- [Andrew] However,
that was 32 seconds knowing
nothing about a subject.
(applause)
- Right, right I was--
That was amazing,
however, Sam does get the point,
and 28 seconds, starting now.
- I know a little bit about concurrency,
but inevitably when one
is building a program
which is concurrent,
it ends up being an
unending fucking nightmare.
This is typically because
concurrent programs are--
(buzz)
- Repetition of "programs."
- Yes, repetition of "programs."
- Yup, yep.
- So Kinsey it's back with
you, 11 seconds, starting now.
- I think that we should
be teaching more people--
(buzz)
- Andy?
- It's repetition of teaching.
- She didn't say teaching earlier.
- I didn't say--
- Did anyone hear teaching earlier?
- No. No. No.
- No.
So that was an incorrect
challenge, Kinsey gets a point.
And those six seconds back, starting now.
- As I was saying, before
I was rudely interrupted--
(applause)
(air horn)
(cheers)
- Kinsey was winning at this
point in Brighton as well.
- Yeah.
- This time she knows the game.
(laughter)
- Don't jinx it, don't jinx it!
- Kinsey is an absolute sniper.
- Kinsey, leading on six, and
Andy you're up next to speak.
Your subject is Hello Ruby.
Hello Ruby, Andy Croll, starting now.
- Hello Ruby, is a book by Linda, uh--
(buzz)
- Hesitation.
- Yes.
That was an "uh."
- Uh.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Kinsey you have 55 seconds starting now.
- When I see the word
Hello Ruby on the screen
I'm not really sure what it means,
so I'm thinking about a song called
"Hello Dolly" which is
by the great Dolly--
(buzz)
- Andy?
- Well that's deviation isn't it?
- That is deviation.
(laughter and applause)
You were talking about "Hello
Dolly" and not Hello Ruby.
- Well what's Hello Ruby?
I don't even know...
I would say Hello Kitty, I
wasn't down to Hello Kitty.
- Actually I think Andy is gonna tell us.
He knows so, yeah, Andy Croll,
you have 45 seconds starting now.
- The trouble with a
subject such as Hello Ruby
is that it's difficult to
know where to go with it.
There is a children's
book that was Kickstarted
in the recent past,
and I am probably going
to run out of words if I don't
keep talking out loud like this and--
(buzz)
- That's, that's--
- [Andrew] Sam?
- That's got to be deviation as well.
(laughter)
- Yes.
- It's hard.
- Hesitation, deviation,
talking nonsense--
- It's pretty much everything.
(laughter)
Okay, Sam you have 29
seconds, starting now.
- I've just learned that Hello Ruby
is a book written by Linda Liukas,
and the thing that's
interesting about that
is I actually met Linda at
the Frozen Rails Conference
in Finland the one time that I went.
The conference was super interesting--
(buzz)
And someone's just caught me
on repetition of "conference."
- Yes.
Okay, Andy Croll you have it
back, 14 seconds, starting now.
- As a father of twins,
I look forward to the day
when I am able to pass
them a copy of Hello Ruby,
two of which I bought during the campaign
when she was funding, in 2011--
(buzz)
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Hesitation.
- Yes, that was definitely hesitation.
(laughter)
So Aaron, you got in with two seconds,
(laughter)
On Hello Ruby.
starting now.
- Hello Ruby is a book--
(air horn)
(laughter and applause)
- Excellent, that was round four,
currently Kinsey is in the lead,
Aaron's only just behind.
Okay, Sam you are up next to speak,
your subject is legacy code.
Legacy code, sixty seconds, starting now.
- I help make RSpec,
RSpec is really--
(buzz)
Yep.
- Andy?
- Wow.
- I believe that was
repetition of "RSpec?"
- It was!
(laughter)
- Yeah, fair enough.
- Okay, Andy Croll, you have 55 seconds,
on legacy code, starting now.
- It has been said that
as soon as you write code,
it becomes legacy code.
The times that you spend
not writing legacy code
are few and far between.
It's very difficult to
think about any code
that I have written
that doesn't somehow end up as legacy--
(buzz)
- Repetition of "written?"
- Was there a "written" earlier?
- I, ooo.
- "Write" and "written."
- I think he's good, I think he's good.
- So Andy, you have it back, 38 seconds.
- Oh I, wait what?
So write and written are
two separate, different?
- Yeah, write and written
are two different words.
(laughter)
- Well, it's the same
word, it's just different.
- They have different letters
and they sound different.
- Okay.
(laughter)
Ouch, harsh.
- Just explaining the rules.
(laughter)
- This might be the American
English language barrier.
(laughter)
- So Andy, you have it back.
- Hi Texas.
- For 38 seconds, starting now.
My first app was a PHP app about--
(buzz)
- Sam?
- Repetition of "app."
- Repetition of "app," of course.
- Would that also be off topic?
- What?
- It could have been
leading to legacy code,
it was code that was
written some time ago,
however Sam got there first.
So you have 34 seconds, starting now.
- I like to describe myself as a machine
for generating legacy code.
I'm a consultant, and
most of the work I do
is basically just screwing everything up
and getting a paycheck, it's great.
So yeah--
(buzz)
- Andy?
- That's hesitation.
- Oh, I disagree.
- "Yeah," was definitely
a bridging word wasn't it?
It was filling that space.
Yeah, I'm gonna give you that one.
(dissenting grumbles)
They're not sure in the room.
(laughter)
Okay Andy, you have 19
seconds starting now.
- Just as when you're on
a panel game it's easy
to make enemies with the
people listening to you
it is easy also to make--
(buzz)
- Sam?
- Repetition of "easy."
- Repetition of "easy," yes.
- And "make," and I was also
about to say "enemies," so...
(laughter)
- Fair enough, so Sam, you
have 12 seconds, starting now.
- There are many
definitions of legacy code
and also code smells,
there's a book by, I
think it's Martin Fowler,
who explains how to detect code smells--
(air horn)
- Oh.
Nobody buzzed, but--
- [Kinsey] It was too late.
- He repeated "smells", so--
- Check me out.
(laughter)
- Okay, we currently
have a tie in the lead
between Sam and Andy, our
British contingent on this show.
(laughs) Aaron, you're next.
(laughter)
Your topic is duck typing.
Duck typing, Aaron
Patterson, starting now.
- So I think that duck typing
is a very interesting
technique for ducks to use
when they are typing at a computer,
because ducks also like
to produce legacy code--
(buzz)
- Oh Sam.
- Repetition of "ducks,"
which is not in the title.
- Yes.
(grumbling dissent)
- What?!
- They do not like you.
- However it was correct,
the topic is "duck,"
and you repeated "ducks," so--
- Technically correct.
- Technically.
- Technically correct is
the best kind of correct.
(laughter)
- Can I repeat "duck typings?"
- You could not have
repeated "typings" either.
(laughter)
- Okay, so Sam, you have
50 seconds on duck typing,
starting now.
- Duck typing is a way
of building a type system
for applications such
that when you pass objects
around them they respond
with different method calls.
This allows you to infer
different behaviors--
(buzz)
- Aaron?
- Repetition of "different. "
- Repetition of "different."
- [Sam] Yup, yup.
(laughter)
- Yay.
- Okay, so Aaron, you have the topic back,
for 34 seconds starting now.
- As I was saying,
duck typing is when a duck typing on a--
(laughter)
(buzz)
And when you get some legacy
code, out of the duck typing.
(laughter)
That we see them do in a terminal--
- You were buzzed.
- Oh I, did I press it?
(laughter)
Oh I was going to say hesitation.
- It was hesitation.
- But he kept going,
so I didn't know if it worked or not.
- Very elongated version
of the word typing.
(laughter)
So Kinsey, you have 27
seconds, starting now.
- So when I was first learning
Ruby a couple years ago,
I was very confused by
the term duck typing,
and everyone kept telling
me the same slogan,
and it was, "If it walks like a duck,
"if it quacks like a duck"--
(buzz)
- Repetition of "if."
- That was two "if"s.
- That was only two "if"s.
- I was preempting your next one.
(laughter)
- Well thank you, now I get a point,
and I'm not going to say that.
- So that was an incorrect challenge,
due to my lack of precognition,
so Kinsey, you gain a point,
(laughter)
and have 11 seconds
on duck typing, starting now.
- So as I was saying,
before I was so rudely interrupted--
By Andy Croll--
(buzz)
Sitting next to me--
- Repetition of I, that was three times.
(laughter)
- Oh really?
(laughter)
Oh.
(applause)
- Just looking at the board,
I'm gonna give you that point.
- Oh a pity point!
- Does that feel good Aaron.
- And 3.9 seconds on
duck typing starting now.
- Duck Typing is an interesting
programming technique
that I like to use--
(buzz)
- [Kinsey] Interesting.
- Sam?
- Repetition of "technique"
from your earlier speech.
- Yes.
- And "interesting" too I think.
(laughter)
- Sam, you have half a second
to speak about duck typing,
starting now.
- Duck.
(air horn)
- Hooray.
(applause)
- How many more rounds do they have?
- Okay so Sam got the point for speaking
at the end of that round.
Kinsey you are next up to speak,
Five fun things to do with Ruby.
Five fun things to do
with Ruby, starting now.
- Five fun things to do
with Ruby is a great topic
because I have seen a lot of talks
that are about fun things to do with Ruby.
One of those is music,
I've seen music presentations--
(buzz)
Oh music.
- Yep, yep.
- Repetition of "music."
- Repetition of "music," absolutely.
Okay, Andy Croll, you have
45 seconds starting now.
- Given that I have chosen Ruby
as my programming language,
I like to think there are more
than five fun things to do with Ruby.
There could be ten fun
things to do with Ruby,
or perhaps fifteen fun
things to do with Ruby.
And you could spend many
hours, twenty hours,
talking about--
(buzz)
- Repetition of "hours."
- Repetition of "hours!"
(applause and laughter)
Absolutely Kinsey, you
have the topic back,
and 25 seconds, starting now.
- Splice is an awesome company where they
are doing fun things with Ruby,
but they actually are not doing
fun things with Ruby anymore--
(buzz)
They actually write Go...
- Repetition of "fun things,"
which is in the title.
- Yes.
- No, fun things!
- [Sam] Damn it.
- But that was an incorrect challenge,
so yes, Kinsey, you gain a point.
You could have had repetition of doing,
but now it's too late.
So, Kinsey, you have sixteen
seconds, starting now.
- Wait, don't I get another point.
- You were given the point.
(buzz)
- Oh, sorry.
- Andy?
- That was hesitation?
- That was hesitation.
(laughter and applause)
- That doesn't count!
- You were too busy trying
to get additional points
you forgot to speak
when the timer started.
- Well I thought I was missing a point,
so I just wanted to make sure that
it was properly reflected.
- You gained the point for that time.
- Okay, so I lost that one?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, so, which means Andy gets a point,
and has 14 seconds starting now.
- Five fun things to do with Ruby
would be an excellent name for a talk
if I were to submit it as
part of a call for proposal
for something like RubyConf,
or RailsBridge, or other things that--
(air horn)
- That was hesitation!
- Andy Croll somehow got
away with that third "or."
- I wasn't quite fast enough.
(laughter)
- So Andy, you are first up to speak next,
and open source software is your topic.
Open source software, starting now.
- I think it's clear
to see that none of us
would be here today,
were it not for the principles
of open source software.
We all rely in our day jobs on software
that has been open-sourced by
smarter people than ourselves,
who might find useful
libraries that they build
for other people to use,
and open source--
(buzz)
- Hesitation.
- I think that was hesitation there.
- Just put me out of my misery.
(laughter)
- Okay, Sam, you have got your point,
and 37 seconds on open source software,
starting now.
- Open source software can be acronymized
in a number of ways,
including O-source software,
Open-S software, Open Source-S, OS--
(buzz)
- Repetition of "S."
- Repetition of "S!"
(laughter and applause)
- So Kinsey you gain the point for that,
and you have the subject
back for 25 seconds
starting now.
- There are a lot of scary
and kind of upsetting
statistics around contributions
to open source software.
Currently, I believe,
don't quote me on this,
there are 2% of
open source software
contributors are women,
and 98% of open source software are men.
And--
(laughter)
(air horn)
(laughter and applause)
- I will not quote you
on that last sentence,
it was a beautiful one.
(laughter)
Yes, so you get the point.
You're currently in the lead.
And, we've maybe got
time for two more rounds.
Sam Phippen, you are next up to speak,
and your subject is the Friday Hug.
The Friday Hug, starting now.
- To my immediate right is the inventor
of the Friday Hug,
one Aaron Patterson, or
Tenderlove on the internet.
The great thing about the Friday Hug,
is it encourages all of us to
celebrate the end of the week
and the achievements that we've made
in the time that we've spent
building our applications.
One of the interesting
things about the Friday Hug
is it encourages you to
take a selfie when you--
(buzz)
- Repetition of "encourages."
- Mmhmm.
- [Andrew] Yes.
- Oh.
(applause)
- Completely correct Aaron.
You have 34 seconds on something you are
uniquely equipped to speak about,
(laughter)
starting now.
- I invented the Friday Hug, on a Friday.
I recall the Friday Hug day very clearly--
(buzz)
(laughter)
- No he doesn't.
(laughter)
- So your challenge?
- Hesitation.
- Okay.
Your first challenge was
he can't remember Friday.
(laughter)
Hesitation though is correct.
So Andy, you have 23 seconds starting now.
- To be sharing a stage with
the creator of the Friday Hug,
at this, a venue where the
Friday Hug is unfortunately
unable to be performed due
to the lack of Fridays,
rather than the lack of hugs.
You can see--
(buzz)
- Sam?
- Repetition of "lack?"
- Repetition of "lack."
- [Kinsey] Yeah.
- Uh oh, it's close.
- So Sam, you have 10 seconds remaining.
You alright Aaron?
(laughter)
- I can't continue.
(laughter)
- You're okay for now.
Sam, 10 seconds, starting now.
- What I've just discovered
is that talking about the Friday Hug
is a good way to bring its creator to
absolute hysterics on a panel
game show such as this--
(air horn)
(applause)
- I think this will have
to be our last round,
currently Sam is in the lead,
it's almost anyone's game.
(laughter)
And Aaron, you are first to
speak in this next round.
- No!
(laughter)
Okay.
- Performance tuning is your topic.
So performance tuning, Aaron
Patterson, starting now.
- Performance tuning is
a very important topic
that I like to talk about,
especially because I enjoy tuning my piano
and playing it very quickly.
(buzz)
(laughter)
- I'm not fast enough.
- I'm gonna suggest hesitation?
- That may well have been hesitation Sam.
So, Sam you have 49 seconds
on performance tuning,
starting now.
- Performance tuning RSpec
has been a really interesting exercise.
Mostly we can use allocation tracing
to determine where objects are
created within the library.
This then enables us to make
performance optimizations
by removing object--
(buzz)
- Kinsey?
- Uh repetition of "optimization?"
Or "object," sorry, "object."
- Which one are you challenging on?
- "Object."
- "Object," correct.
- Okay, Kinsey, you have 32
seconds on performance tuning,
starting now.
- So someone who really
inspires me in the space
of performance tuning is Eileen.
You might know her on Twitter,
but I am not going to say her handle,
because that would be repetition,
and she gives an excellent talk
about performance tuning
and tests and n-controllers,
and if you haven't seen it,
it's a really great presentation--
(buzz)
- Repetition of "presentation."
- Yeah, and "and."
I think I said "and" a hundred times.
- So Aaron Patterson, you
have nine seconds to gather
seven points.
(laughter)
Sorry.
That's starting now.
- I really enjoy performance
tuning of software
and legacy systems--
(buzz)
- Andy?
- I just wanted a go before we finished.
(laughter)
- So there was no challenge?
Aaron, you get a point.
(laughter)
Cheers Andy.
(laughter)
And you have 2.6 seconds, starting now.
(buzz)
(laughter and applause)
Do go on.
- I just want Aaron to have another point.
(laughter)
- You know that's an
incorrect challenge so.
(laughter)
I'm giving Aaron another point.
And 2.1 seconds starting now.
(buzz)
(laughter)
- Aaron's a nice man.
(laughter)
- Also an incorrect challenge.
(laughter)
So Aaron, you have 1.7 seconds,
and we are running out
of time incidentally,
starting now.
(buzz)
(laughter)
- I just wanted to see if I could do it.
(laughter)
- It's on GitHub, I would raise an issue.
(laughter)
- I challenge myself, do I get a point?
- The simple answer is no you can't.
(laughter)
I'm just going to start you again,
I can't give you a point for that.
I wish I could.
Alright, you have 1.4
seconds starting now.
(buzz)
(laughter)
- It wasn't me!
- Andy?
- Technically, Aaron hasn't said anything
in about four seconds.
(laughter)
- I so want to give you that point.
- Hesitation, truly!
- Is Andy correct do we think?
(applause)
Fine, I've given you a
point, and 1.1 seconds
on performance tuning, starting now.
- Performance--
(air horn)
- Damn, Sam.
(applause and laughter)
- Thank you so much RubyConf,
this has been amazing.
(laughter)
So the final scores, Sam Phippen
is winning with 15 points,
we have a tie for second,
and a very close fourth.
(laughter)
So it only remains for
me to thank Ian Messiter,
the man who created this game,
and Nicholas Parsons,
who has been hosting it
for nearly 50 years, I really
am just keeping his seat warm.
And RubyConf please one last time,
join me in showing your
appreciation for the panel.
Aaron Patterson!
(applause)
Andy Croll!
(applause)
Kinsey Ann Durham!
(applause)
And today's winner Sam Phippen!
(applause)
I've been Andrew Faraday,
thank you very much!
Goodbye!
(applause)
(lively country music)
