
The Accompanied Development Program

Robert Just

Copyright 2019 Robert Just

Second, slightly improved

Smashwords Edition

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Introduction by the author

"The Accompanied Development Program" is an experiment of the mind. Having worked with children and teenagers for decades and having participated in various training programs for the prevention of child sexual abuse the author has asked himself two questions over and over again: "What can be done?" and "Why/how does it happen?"

The answer to the second question can be answered quickly and the answer can be found everywhere: dependency and secrecy. Most abusive situations start in a positive way. Children like adults. They want, need their attention and love. But what then? What if this need goes further than simple friendship? What if this need is being exploited by a sex offender? Our society still does not seem to have found appropriate answers.

In the fictional world of "The Accompanied Development Program" the rules are changed. Little Debbie, not a child anymore but not yet a teenager meets George, a caring man who is very much attached to children. Quickly she develops a crush on him, but this does not have to be a secret anymore. Their innocent "relationship" happens in the public, and they are protected and supported by the "Accompanied Development Program".

Yet, sooner or later Debbie will hit puberty. How does she cope? Can the "Program" protect her from herself?

"The Accompanied Development Program", composed in the years 2017 and 2018, is a work of fiction. People and actions presented therein are fictitious. The author is strongly opposed to any kind of child abuse and he hopes that this statement is clearly visible throughout the whole of this novel.

R.J., May 2019
Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Accompanied Development Program Smith/Davies

archived correspondence

Year One
From:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

To:

Susan Smith Martinez, PhD

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: Beginning of Accompanied Development Program (ADP)

Dear Mr Smith, dear Mrs Smith Martinez

as you are well aware, your daughter Deborah has just had her 10th birthday. In her last Physical and Mental Examination you have complied to be willing to take part in the Accompanied Development Program.

To present you a short summary of our work I will refer to the Law of Accompanied Development passed in the year 2028, which allows children from the minimal age of 10 years and an appropriate level of physical and mental development, as proven and predicted by Physical and Mental Examinations administered at the ages of 8.5, 9.5 and 10.5 years, to be allocated an educator specially trained in close contact with young girls in the early years of their development.

According to her last Examination your daughter will have reached the right state of development at 10 years, 2-3 months and the Program will commence in accordance to that date. The person allocated to your daughter will be chosen from your social, economic and educational background. After a first meeting with your family your daughter will be granted some regular time after school hours to spend with him at public places to build a relationship. This first phase ("Phase I") will take at least two months in which your daughter and her "grown up pal" (the term has been established over the last years) will spend time only with working on homework and school projects and spending some time at cafés, playgrounds, amusement parks et cetera. Any intimate contact is strictly prohibited at that phase.

After this first phase your daughter will have to decide if the likes her "grown up pal" and if she is willing to spend more private time with him. The beginning of deeper phases will be closely discussed with you as parents. Please take into account that your daughter will be the only person to decide on the development of her relationship and about how much detail has to be presented to you.

You do not have to be afraid for you daughter, as the adult educator will be a well trained and experienced man. Our educators often have children of their own and work in educational professions. In many cases they are especially attracted to children and/or young teenagers by their sexual orientation ("CYTL"), in a growing number of cases they are not and only want to take part in this outstanding and close educational experience. The major rule they will follow is that the junior partner is the only one to decide about the development of the relationship.

You can be proud to be living in times where young girls are given opportunities like this. You may well remember your own youth where measures like our program would have been strictly condemned and young people were left alone with their feelings and urges.

Soon, you and your daughter will hear from the educator allocated to you.

Thank you again for your participation,

faithfully,

Glen Driver

(permanent secretary)
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Susan Smith Martinez, PhD

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: First meeting

Dear Mrs Smith Martinez, dear Mr Smith

my name is George Davies and I was allocated to your family by the Department of Accompanied Development. As I know that you are well informed about how the Program works I just want to introduce myself.

I work as an assistant professor for Applied Mathematics at St. Monica University and have been at the Program for eight years. I am married and am a father of two children in their late teens. In my free time I have worked with children for all my adult life. Before taking part in the Program I was a youth leader in various church groups.

I have enclosed a photo of myself and a short CV, but that does not compensate for personal contact. I'll keep this letter short and look forward to meeting you next week.

Best wishes,

George Davies
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Deborah Smith

Subject: First meeting

Hi Deborah

your parents may have told you that we are going to spend some time together for the next years. Of course only if you want to. Like your mother I work at the University and I am a professor of Mathematics. That may sound quite complicated at first, but believe me, it's not so complicated after all, if you got the right hang of it. I've heard that you are quite good at Math, too, so you and I have something in common 😉.

I don't know what your parents have told you but next week we'll meet at your house to get to know each other. I am quite curious about you, so why don't you write back and tell me something about yourself.

See you soon,

George Davies
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Hi!!

Hi Mr Davies

you wanted me to write back.

My name is Deborah Smith but you can call me Debbie. I am in year five at St. Monica Middle School. I am new to this school and in the beginning I got lost sometimes. But now it is getting better and I have already found some new friends.

My hobbies are reading, swimming and playing the violin. My favorite subject is Math but you already know that 😉.

I have a friend in year six and she is nearly 12. She has a grown up pal too, and she told me quite a lot. So I'm not as stupid as you might think and I know a lot already 😉.

Her pal is called Mike and they invited me for an ice cream. He is really funny and nice and I like him. I hope that you are funny and nice, too. I don't care if you are old because my dad is quite old too, and Mike is quite old and most of the boys in my class are stupid. My new English teacher is quite young but he is stupid, too. If you want to know, I like Benny's Bubble Bar a lot because there is only unhealthy stuff and my mom doesn't want me to go there. So if you want me to like you, you should go there with me 😉.

I am not looking forward to your visit at my place because my parents always want to talk about boring stuff. So if you want to talk about boring stuff we can skip the meeting and go to Benny's right away 😃.

But because I want to meet you first, you can still come to our place but you'll have to promise not to be boring.

CU

Debbie
From:

The Smith Family

To:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Subject: Evaluation sheet – First month of Accompanied Development

Name of girl: _Deborah Smith_

Name of educator: _George Davies_

a) Parents

Rating (1-10): _9_

Comments

[filled by Mrs Smith Martinez] _Mr Davies has presented himself an intelligent and empathic man. The situation on our first meeting started quite well because it turned out that we know each other from scientific meetings. Even though I wanted to talk with him about scientific projects we both work on he quickly made sure that he was there to get to know our daughter. The two of them had some nice talk together and I was impressed how quickly he was able to change his register from adult to child talk. I must also admit that he is an attractive man and I tended to envy my daughter a little bit._

The first weeks of regular meetings with my daughter after school seemed to go well, Deborah does not tell much at home but she seems to be quite happy.

I did not give the full rating of 10 because I strictly have to criticize the places Mr Davies and Deborah go to. They seem to spend a lot of time at places where unwholesome food is provided and where children are encouraged to spend their free time with uneducative activities. I must sincerely remind you that a growing child has to be provided with healthy food and even in her free time has to spend time with further education. There are some very interesting museums in town that could be visited.

[Added my Mr Smith] _I would have given a 10. Debbie seems to be really happy. And that is all that counts for me._

b) Girl

Rating (1-10): 10+++ 😃

Comments (filled in without parental supervision)

Hi Mr Driver

George is really cool. When he was at our place he made my mom stop talking about her boring science stuff in a really nice way. I think she likes him, too 😉.

And now the coolest day of the week is Wednesday when I can go out with George. We've been to all the nice places where I was never allowed to go. I had some GIANT shakes at Benny's Bubble Bar 😲!

And George is also very good at explaining stuff from school and he is soooo funny. I really, really like him. I so much want to kiss him ♥ but George says that this isn't allowed for another month 😢.

George told me that you are his boss. So pleeeeease let me kiss him! I don't want to french him or stuff, yuck!, just a little peck on the cheek. Please, please, please!

George says begging won't help. But George also says that I am funny and sweet when I am begging and that he really would give everything to kiss me back. So we had another of these HUGE shakes 😲 but a kiss would have been nicer.

Bye Mr Driver and don't forget my kissing wish 😘!

c) Supervising secretary

\- Positive relationship being built

\- Minimal duration of Phase I (2 months) not to be exceeded

\- Continuation of Program approved

\- Parents to be informed about possible further development

\- PM mother regarding concerns
From:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

To:

Susan Smith Martinez, PhD

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: Beginning of deeper phase

Dear Mrs Smith Martinez, dear Mr Smith

due to your positive rating and especially to your daughter's explicit wishes the exploratory phase of the ADP will end after its minimal duration of two months.

Your daughter and Mr Davies will be allowed to visit private places and to have intimate contact in accordance to your daughter's needs and wishes. Meeting times will be extended to Monday and Wednesday afternoons. Weekend and holiday activities are allowed but have to be closely discussed with me and you as parents.

I will refer to your, Mrs Smith Martinez's, remark about free time activities. One of the goals of the ADP is to give children and young teens an opportunity to follow their urge to "break the rules". You may remember that breaking the rules is a normal and necessary part in the process of growing up. In the days of our youth we were forced to break the rules on our own with all the possible negative consequences. Your daughter now has a person by her side, who knows which rules can be broken in a responsible way. Please trust Mr Davies that he does everything for your daughter's wellbeing and that he will not allow anything and anyone to harm her. Be assured that alcohol, cigarettes and any kind of drugs are strictly forbidden on the Program and the worst your daughter will get is Coke, sweets and burgers, if you know what I mean. When your daughter's body will commence to develop more quickly Mr Davies will show her responsible measures to keep "in shape" and to reduce the risk of eating disorders. Keeping mental and physical health during the hard times of development is the main goal of the ADP and is taken seriously to the highest degree by all participants.

Thank you again for your positive participation.

Faithfully,

Glen Driver

(permanent secretary)
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

**Subject: Hi** ♥ ****

Hi George,

two months are over tomorrow and you are not THERE to celebrate. Why did you have to go to that stupid meeting or whatever it is called??

It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm sitting AT HOME!!!

And your Mr Driver didn't answer about kissing you. He only wrote a stupid letter to my family. I was so happy that waiting is over and then you came along with your stupid meeting.

Perhaps we can do something together at the weekend?

Come back soon!

CU

Debbie

PS. There you got your kiss. And your Mr Driver can do nothing about it 😚 ♥!
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Subject: Extraordinary meeting on first weekend at beginning of Deeper Phase

Hi Glen

I know that this is unusual but I've been ordered to the Science Board Meeting this week and am not able to celebrate the successful ending of Phase I with Debbie. She's quite let down and I can understand that (imagine how I'm feeling right now...).

So I want to ask if I could get permission to ask Debbie out at the weekend to celebrate. If you comply I'll ask her parents right away.

Thanks a lot in advance,

best wishes,

George
From:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

To:

Susan Smith Martinez, PhD

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: Extraordinary weekend activity

Dear Mrs Smith Martinez, dear Mr Smith

you must have heard from your daughter that Mr Davies is absent on professional duties this week. As Phase I of the ADP ended this Wednesday it is your daughter's justifiable wish to "celebrate" their "common achievement" properly. On behalf of your daughter I would kindly ask permission to let your daughter go out with Mr Davies on one day of the weekend. I know that this is uncommon at the beginning of the ADP but you may understand and respect you daughter's wishes.

A positive reply would be much welcome.

Thank you in advance,

faithfully,

Glen Driver

(permanent secretary)
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Score!!! 😁

Hi George

say thanks to your Mr Driver from me! He really made it. Mom wasn't happy at first but I begged and begged (and you know my begging 😉) and then she got a mail from Mr Driver.

I'm sooooo happy.

There is sooo much I wanna do with you that we weren't allowed to. Like holding hands, hugging and that little kiss I owe you.

What are we going to do? Write back soon, I miss you!!

XXXXXX and many more

Debbie
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Subject: What really happened

Hi Mr Driver

I'm so sorry that all this happened. It's all my fault, I was so stupid. I guess mom really gave you a hard time. Sorry again 😥.

You wanted me to tell what really happened last Sunday and why mom was so agitated. So let's start from the beginning:

I was so happy that everything worked out fine and that George and me were going to spend the day together. I put on my tight shirt to show him that I'm not a little girl anymore but I put a sweater on top of it because I know that mom doesn't like me wearing tight shirts.

Then George came along and we drove to St. Monica Fair and he knew that I liked that. When we were driving we were listening to cool music and we were wearing our sunglasses and I felt like one of the big girls with their boyfriends and I really liked that.

And when we arrived at St Monica Fair I took off my sweater and George looked at me like I looked at those HUGE shakes at Benny's 😲 and I liked that, too.

And then we rode all the rides and had something to eat and laughed a lot. And finally we rode the Giant Gyro Spinner and I was afraid at first. And at first it tickled in my stomach very much but George held me tight and I felt safe, and then I felt that I was really in love with George and I wanted much more from him.

But I knew that George wouldn't touch me without me telling him and I felt safe again and very happy and sad because I didn't dare to tell George what I'd really like.

And then we drove home and we kissed goodbye and at first I kissed his cheek and it tickled on my lips because of his stubble and then I kissed his lips and it felt really soft and nice and it tickled everywhere in my body and I mean EVERYWHERE.

But then we had to say goodbye and when George was gone I realized that I forgot my sweater in his car and mom looked at me in a real disgusting way and I hated that because George had looked totally differently when he saw my shirt. And then mom said in her voice What the heck have you been doing? and I was so agitated that I answered Everything! and I ran to my room and slammed the door.

And I heard mom yelling something after me and then I heard her yelling at the phone and she used words that I hadn't ever heard from her and I guess that she was yelling at you. And then dad came home and after a while they had a fight, too, and I didn't come out of my room that night and I cried because I was afraid that mom would ruin everything.

The next morning I didn't talk to mom and after school I met George and I told him what had happened and that I am afraid that mom wouldn't allow seeing him again. But George just hugged me and told that we did nothing wrong and that everything is going to be fine and I was so happy. But I didn't tell him how much I love him and what I was feeling because I'm a coward.

And that's all from me. Please tell mom that I want nothing more than seeing George again and that I didn't do anything even if I wanted to.

Thank you, Mr Driver, you are always so nice to us.

Bye, Debbie
From:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

To:

Susan Smith Martinez, PhD

Subject: Your message

Dear Mrs Smith Martinez

thank you for your personal message. I am sorry that I was not present at my office so I could not answer your call in person.

Before referring to your message in detail I want to point out, that your concerns are based on a misunderstanding. Your daughter had not had any inappropriate contact with Mr Davies on the said Sunday afternoon and their relationship has not developed to any, even the mildest, sexual level yet. I also want to emphasize that you can trust Mr Davies to the highest degree and there is no need to "prevent him from f***ing my daughter", I think these were the words you spoke on my tape.

In addition I have to remind you that any physical contact containing adult sexuality will only take place if given clearance by the results of the regular Physical and Mental Examinations. You are aware that the next Examination, which is the last of the Preliminary Examinations, is scheduled to be administered within the next week. The follow-up will be scheduled around your daughter's eleventh birthday. At this early phase of her development it is very unlikely that your daughter has already reached the maturity for the sexual acts mentioned by you, even if she explicitly wishes them to be performed, which is not the case at this point of time.

But please be also aware that your daughter expresses a strong affection towards Mr Davies. Even though this affection does not yet include adult sexuality, she is maturing quickly and it can be predicted that she is about to start her sexual exploration with Mr Davies in the near future. You may well remember that young girls tend to develop quick "crushes". You can be assured that Mr Davies will not exploit you daughter's feelings for his own benefit but will guide her according to her own wishes and in accordance with her maturity.

Please support your daughter and the exploration of her feelings. Please do not interfere too much, even if situations seem to be inappropriate from your point of view. Any negative impact on the developing relationship between your daughter and Mr Davies will be a risk to her healthy development and her relation to you as parents. You may be aware that retaining a positive parent-child relation even in the hard times of beginning puberty is also a goal of the ADP.

Faithfully,

Glen Driver

(permanent secretary)
From:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: My wife

Dear Mr Davies

well, how shall I put it. The relation to my wife has somehow become more complicated since Debbie's ADP has started. Susan seems to be quite skeptical in how far Debbie's relationship with you really benefits her and she shows strong intents to "protect" her from any possible harm done by you. Yet she somehow is aware that there is no real "threat" to be expected from you. Yet, the situation has become quite tense between us.

So, my question: You told us that you have been married for a long time. Even if I am not on the Program and have not shown any interest in young girls and/or boys so far... no, I'll have to put it the other way around. Just to be blunt: How do you manage being married while also meeting the girls. Sorry to be so personal but I am really interested.

We can also meet in person and go out for a beer. I would greatly appreciate that.

Best wishes,

Jeremiah Smith

PS. Please call me just Jeremiah.
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: Your message / my wife

Dear Jeremiah,

this is a very complicated question and it is deeply connected to the history of CYTL acceptance. So I'll start from the beginning, even if you may remember most historical facts.

I've always been attracted to young girls. When I was a teen and a young adult this was of course strictly tabooed. I've always got along quite well with kids and everybody urged me to become a teacher or something similar but I was afraid and I feared that I could not control myself. So I chose Math which sounded quite safe for me (nevertheless they said that I should become a Math teacher because they said if there was a person in the world that could awaken enthusiasm for Math and Science in girls it would be me – but I didn't). Yet I kept on my work in church groups and I liked that very much.

I somehow didn't forget the women after all and managed to find a nice girlfriend my age. Of course she didn't have a clue about my "real feelings" but I really loved her and we married. When the kids were there I was too much involved to follow my "interests", but I secretly visited certain pages, if you know what I mean. I have never been really active but it obviously was enough to haunt me later on.

The real problems started in the late tens and early twenties when more and more darknet pages where CYTL people met were taken down. Then, after the Great Bombing of '23, the governments, Google, Facebook, Amazon and major hacking groups started to cooperate and TOR was finally taken down. The complete infrastructure was disclosed to the LEAs and a vast amount of connection data collected over decades could be processed. They did not only get the terrorists and many drug dealers but they got personal data from nearly all people who had ever visited CYTL pages over the last decade or even longer. You remember the impact. Hundreds of thousands of men (and some women) got exposed. Courts could not deal anymore with the amount of trials, prisons could not hold the prisoners, schools, universities, boards of directors, political parties etc lost precious people, families were destroyed and the world economy was about to collapse. (Of course no one cared for the busted workers, but I have to mention that because I am an old socialist...). I lost my job at university and nearly my wife, but she realized that I always had been a good and loving partner and she stayed with me.

This was exactly what many people realized then. Too many good people were accused, fired or imprisoned, nearly everyone had a friend who suffered the TOR bust. And people started to realize that CYTL obviously was not only affecting those dirty-old-men types. As no one liked the term "paedophilia" the term of Child and/or Young Teen Lover – CYTL – came up and rallies started that were more and more supported by non-CYTL people.

Then the scientists came up with more and more facts about CYTL that was based on data collected over a long period of time but had not been published previously. When finally more and more young men and women told publicly about having fallen in love with adults as kids or young teens (or having had a severe crush) and a growing number even told that they had benefited from relationships with older partners even politicians started to change their minds and at first liberal, then conservative and finally even left-wing parties (due to very conservative feminists) realized that they could not frighten off a large amount of possible voters.

So at first the European governments commissioned scientific councils to come up with ideas to integrate CYTL into society and a first set of Rules for beneficial CYT-adult-relationships were proposed. After very few years of exploration most governments passed laws to legitimize relationships between minors and adults under strict regulations. That's how the Program was born which, in our country is divided into a male and female section due to the totally different nature of adult-boy and adult/girl relationships. Of course a wide amnesty was pronounced and I was reinstated at university and could finish my PhD.

What did I want to say? Oh yes, my wife. Because I still loved her and was loyal to her I didn't go to the Program at first. But being an intelligent person she knew that I had to. Even it it was hard for her, she urged me to start with the Program because she loved me. And even if I enjoy being with the girls I still love my wife very much and know that I need someone my age by my side.

So, that's my story. I am obliged to end all personal statements about the Program with an invitation to join yourself. Even if you are no CYTL it offers great opportunities to be with kids and to be part of their lives in a most critical phase. But I have to say that because we still need good educators. There is a women-section in an exploratory phase, so if you could ask your wife? Just kidding.

Best wishes

George

PS. I gladly accept your invitation. Just call me.
From:

David J. Rockenfeller, MD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _preliminary 10.5 – re-labeled in-program_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

Physical development

\- Breast: _Tanner St. II (breast buds visibly elevated, only slight widening of areola)_

\- Pubic hair: _Tanner St. I-II (increase of downy hair, no pigmentation)_

\- Underarm hair: _Wolfsdorf St. I (%)_

\- Menarche: _+1.5y (not to be predicted at time of examination)_

\- Ovulation: _+1.5y (not to be predicted at time of examination)_

Mental development

\- D. shows strong affection to educator G. Davies

\- mild wishes for preteen sexuality

\- not yet ready to start sexual relationship but urge growing

\- irregular masturbation, non-orgasmic

\- in loose contact to participant Tina O'Connor (educator Mike Newman), sexually active; may lead to acceleration of mental development 
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

Susan Smith Martinez, PhD

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: Dumped your phone, right? 😉

Hi mom, hi dad

where are you? You dumped your phones the instant I was gone, right? Don't want to be bothered by annoying Debbie, right? Lucky yous, I'm gone and you are still home, ha ha! 😅

Just kidding. I don't know why I can't reach you but I don't care. Just do what you want to do. I just want to tell you that I'm fine. It was really great that you didn't say anything against it. It was such a great idea of George to give me this trip for Christmas. And here we are now, in the middle of the mountains. It's so beautiful with all the snow! I've had a little course today but it took no time to refresh my skiing skills. And in the afternoon George and me already did our first easy slope together. And tomorrow we'll have another day and I'm really looking forward to that. George is really great at skiing and he taught me more that this funny skiing coach. But skiing together with George is much more fun than skiing together with another person. But then again everything is better when I do it together with George.

Bye and have some fun without me 😆. I'm sure that I'm having loads of fun.

CU soon

Debbie
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: You are gone again 😢

Hi George ♥

I know that you are a professor and that you have to go to your meetings or conferences or whatever. But I'm alone again and I miss you.

Sorry, but I am a real coward and don't dare to talk about this when you are there and it's easier to write about it. I met Tina and we talked about our grown-up pals and she told me what she does with Mike and I don't know if I am ready to do this kind of stuff. But when Tina talks about it, it sounds very nice and it feels like Mike and Tina are a real couple and much closer than we are.

I love being with you so much and I like us holding hands and hugging and kissing. But sometimes I think that you just treat me like a little girl. I know that Tina has breasts and has had her period and stuff and I am just a little girl. But I don't want to wait until I've grown as much as Tina and I think that I have grown already quite a bit since we met.

Do you think that I'm just a little girl? You always tell me how sweet I am and how much you like being with me but you never told me that I'm beautiful. I know that you liked my tight shirt but it won't fit anymore and it's winter and you can't see how I really look. I made a short video for you so you can see how I look and I'm really embarrassed but I want to show you how I really look and what I want to do with you because I don't dare to ask you.

Please tell me that I'm beautiful because I don't want to be treated like a little girl anymore.

Come back soon!

XXXXX

Debbie

_Attachment:_ DCHG0001113022338.mp7
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Deborah Smith

Subject: Your message

Hi Debbie

well, how shall I put it. Thank you so much for your message and your BEAUTIFUL video. I really, really liked seeing you that way and I would really love to be much closer to you. And I really think that you are very beautiful, because you are a little girl and a not-so-little girl at the same time. You are so sweet but you are really sexy, too. I'm sorry that I didn't make you feel that way.

I really loved seeing you this way on your video and I don't understand why you haven't shown your feelings already. I thought that you weren't ready yet, and I was waiting for you. I am quite sad that I have to be on this conference but it had to be done because it's part of my job. Perhaps it is good to be gone after all, so you found your courage to tell me what you really want. I am proud of you!

But please don't mail any videos or pictures of yourself. You know that the Internet is not as safe as it used to be and you don't want anyone but me to see you like this (even though I think everyone would enjoy it because you really look sexy 😉). Oh yes, if you send any mail on this channel it will be archived. So theoretically Mr Driver is able to watch your video as well but I think your mails are quite safe.

I am really looking forward to seeing you again.

The very best and many kisses,

George
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Subject: Status change of relationship

Hi Glen

you know that I hate those formalized mails but it has to be done. So let's start:

Sexual relationship of Deborah Smith and George Davies changed to

\- exploratory

\- self-centered

Development of relationship:

Even before Phase I had ended Debbie expressed the wish to kiss me. We had our first intimacy on our weekend at St. Monica Fair. Debbie initiated holding hands and hugging, she even kissed me on the lips when we had come home. You know how this weekend had ended but it brought us much closer together on an emotional level. The next nearly five months did not bring any significant development but we got much closer and spent much time together. I am on good terms with her father and we went out for a beer a couple of times. I even visited her family at Christmas and Debbie and me went for a short skiing trip in January. She had never shown any sexual attempts and we mere mostly like father and daughter.

Even though she has recently told me that she had been experiencing some form of sexual arousal since the beginning of our relationship Debbie had never dared to express her wishes for more sexuality in our relationship and I thought that she had not been ready and that we had to wait (or would never develop any sexuality).

On my Science Breakthrough Conference in March she finally made the first step and wrote to express her longing for sexuality and included a video of herself being naked and touching herself.

When home again we met and at the flat she finally initiated contact. We were talking about our feelings when she guided my hands towards her and I started caressing her. Since then we regularly meet at the flat and after doing school work and/or some outdoor activity she initiates sexual intimacy. I must admit that the idea of putting a piano in the flat was really great because music is always the key and playing together has not only improved her violin skills but brought us closer together as well.

Due to her mental development her sexuality is still limited to a preteen level where exploration of her own body and her feelings is most important to her. She does not seem to be ready yet for developing a mutual sexual relationship. Status changes will be reported.

So much from me.

Best wishes,

George
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

**Subject: Thank you so much** ♥

Hi George

thank you so much for the great "birthday present"! You really made a great time for all of us and I think that even mom finally likes you again. The little concert was a great idea. When the girls were gone mom at first wasn't happy that you came over but then she was really surprised when you sat down at the piano and I took my violin and we played just for mom and dad. It really worked out great and now she thinks that we also do the kind of stuff that she calls "culturally distinguished". And I love playing with you so much because it feels so close. Tomorrow is my Physical Examination and I hate that because the doctor is not nice and I don't think that he likes his job. Can you pick me up? I want somebody nice by my side after this horrible examination.

I love you ♥

XXXXX

Debbie
From:

David J. Rockenfeller, MD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _in-program 11_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

Physical development

\- Breast: _Tanner St. II-III (elevation increasing, no widening of areola)_

\- Pubic hair: _Tanner St. II (longer downy hair, pigmentation starts at lower part of mons pubis)_

\- Underarm hair: _Wolfsdorf St. I+ (slight increase of non-pigmented hair)_

\- Menarche: _+1y 2m ± 3m_

\- Ovulation: _+1.5y (not to be predicted at time of examination)_

Mental development

\- D. shows strong affection to educator G. Davies

\- preteen sexuality well established (exploratory, non-penetrative)

\- no mutual sexuality

\- D. has tried digital penetration while masturbating alone but "did not succeed" because "it hurt"

\- wish for penetration largely influenced by Tina O'Connor
The ADP counseling board

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

Deborah Smith has joined the session

Hi Debora!

Hi Mrs Dubois, please call me Debbie!

Hi Debbie, please call me Emma. Please tell me how I can help you.

I don't know who I should talk to. I don't dare to talk to George because I'm a coward and I don't like to talk about those things. And I don't want to talk to Mr Driver because I don't know him well enough. Then I read through all the brochures of the ADP program and I found out that there are counselors to talk to. So that's why I'm here.

Yes, this is what I am here for. It is a very good step to contact me for help and advice. So why don't you tell me what it is all about?

It's really complicated for me to talk about this to you but you must know that I love George very much and he is so nice to me and we do very nice things together and he makes me feel really good and everything. And when you have read all the forms you must know that we do very personal things together because your doctor asked me many embarrassing questions and I had to answer all of them so you know everything. And it's not about that because I like very much what George is doing to me but I love George, too, and I want to be as nice to him as he is to me.

Yes, I know a little bit about what you do together, but only the things that Mr Rockenfeller wrote and what can be found in the status reports. So it's really technical and I don't know how you feel.

You just told me that you want to touch Mr Davies as well. I do not think that Mr Davies would not like that because he loves you very much. So please tell me more.

It's like when he is nice to me he doesn't really undress completely and I think that he is kind of shy but he is an adult and he must have had some experience with stuff like that. But I can't really reach out to touch him where I want to touch him. And once I said that I want to touch him but he just said that I should enjoy and that it's enough for him when I'm feeling good. And when I look at him I can see that he'd really like to be touched there, if you know what I mean. What can I do? I just want to be nice to him, too!

I know Mr Davies quite well because he has had some session with me, too. And in the past we talked about this subject from time to time. He explicitly told me that when this subject comes up again I should tell you his story.

So, when Mr Davies was young it was strictly forbidden for a man to have a relationship with a young girl. When a man and a girl got caught the man was sent to prison for a long time and when he came out again he could not have a normal life because everybody knew what he had done and no one would employ him anymore and everybody would hate him.

And the girl was given a hard time, too, because people thought that she had been abused by her adult boyfriend and she had to go to a therapy where she would be made to hate her boyfriend and to hate the relationship they had. They even made the girls accuse their boyfriends at court to make his punishment even harder.

Many years ago Mr Davies got caught because he had looked at pictures of naked girls. He was fired at university even though he was very good at Mathematics, and his wife nearly divorced him, and he was nearly sent to prison. Luckily the times changed quickly and Mr Davies could live on as a free man, got his job back and finally became an educator on the ADP. This is very good for all of us.

But he is still very much afraid to be too quick with sex. He is still afraid that he is doing "something wrong" and that things could end up bad for you. You know that he is very caring and your well-being is much more important to him than his own.

This sounds awful! How could people have been so bad? I'm very sorry for George because I love him so much. But I don't want to do any bad things, I only want to make him feel as good as I'm feeling when he's nice to me. Can't you talk to George? Please!

Yes, I will talk to Mr Davies, but it's your obligation to show him what you are feeling and what you want. You know that this is the most important part of the Rules. So, show courage! I know that you can do it because you love Mr Davies and you are not a little girl anymore. I believe in you!

Yes, I'll try. Thank you so much, Emma, CU Debbie.

Bye Debbie, keep it up 😊!
From:

The ADP counseling board

Emma Dubois, PhD

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Debbie talked to me

Hi George

you know why I'm writing and this is not the first time. We agreed that I shall be blunt, so

LET HER DO IT FOR F***'S SAKE!

SHE WANTS IT!

SHE LOVES YOU!

SHE'S READY FOR THAT!

DROP YOUR F***ING PANTS!

Did you get me 😉?

Best wishes,

Emma
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Subject: Holiday plans

Hi Glen

well, perhaps you have heard from Emma that my problems have emerged again and I think it would be good for both of us, if Debbie and I spent some time together, only the two of us. I talked to her family and they said that it would be okay if we spent a week together at the seaside. Since it has become known that we make music together even her mother seems to be more positive. Because summer holidays are approaching quickly I have already booked a room for the two of us. I can cancel the booking anytime but of course I have to ask your official permission first.

Thank you and best wishes,

George
From:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Re: Holiday plans

Hi George

yes, no problem. The Smith family told that it'll be okay with them.

So: have fun and remember Emma's advice 😉!

Best wishes,

Glen
The ADP counseling board

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

Deborah Smith has joined the session

Hi Debby, how can I help you?

Hi Emma!

Is everything fine with you and Mr Davies?

Yes, it's great. Thank you for talking to him.

So, what is the problem?

I have no real problems. Tomorrow George and me will leave for the seaside and I'm really looking forward to spending a week only with him. But I'm still thinking about our last chat. You told about people going to prison because they had a little girlfriend and everything. But at school they tell we still have to be careful about bad men doing stuff to us. But you said that the times have changed. I don't understand that.

You really are an intelligent girl, Debbie! You are right, my answer was a little bit too easy. You know quite a bit about sex already so I don't have to talk to you like to a little girl. There are still and have always have been men who take pleasure from forcing other people to have sex. We call this abuse or even rape. Those men are sick and need help, because you know that sex is something nice and absolutely no one has to be forced to do it.

But back in the times when Mr Davies was young, people thought that having a loving relationship with a girl your age was the same as abuse or rape. They said that kids were not old enough to decide what they want and what they don't want to do. Well, you have shown that you really are old enough to decide for yourself, haven't you?

Yes, thank you, but you helped me quite a lot. But what did those men do who really liked young girls?

It was really hard for them. You must know that most men like adult women, some men like other men and some like young girls or boys. And most women like adult men, some like women and there are also very few who like boys or girls. This is absolutely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Perhaps you have learned this at school already. But back then, some twenty years ago and all the times before, the majority of people said that they were the only ones who are normal and all the others were sick. Homosexuals (men who like men and women who like women) have fought for their rights a very long time ago and were allowed to live their lives the way it makes them happy. But those who liked kids and who are called CYTL now really didn't know what to do. Only the bravest achieved to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and it was really hard for them because they weren't allowed to talk to anyone. It was hardest for the kids because it isn't healthy for a kid not to talk to anyone when you are really happy. But most men accepted that they would never have a young boyfriend or a girlfriend. Some found adult partners and lived a more or less happy life with still an important thing missing. And some really couldn't live with it and killed themselves, that's the saddest part of the story. Yes, and there were also some who forgot that they just wanted to have a loving relationship with a girl or a boy and they abused kids. This was also very sad because they got mixed up with the sick men who only want to abuse or rape. So finally the people's point of view was confirmed, that every CYTL was a rapist and every kid that had a relationship to an adult was a victim of abuse. Did you get me?

It was a hard read, sorry that it took so long. But I think I understand you. And what about the pictures? You told me that George went to prison because he looked at pictures of girls. But at school they still tell us that we have to be careful on the Internet because there are bad men who only want us to undress and then film it and stuff.

This is complicated, too. If someone takes a photo or a video of you when you are naked it is called "child pornography". I think that you wouldn't like strange men looking at you when you are naked. Some people even today abuse children and film it. Today, on the ADP, it is possible for an adult to have a relationship to a girl or a boy. You also know that everyone of them has to follow strict rules that were set up to protect kids from any possible harm that could be done to them. The rules also make it possible for you to experience what you are experiencing right now (and it seems that you enjoy being with Mr Davies very much). And they make it possible for men like Mr Davies to be nice to a girl because they like girls very much. On the other hand YOU are the one to decide what you want. If someone takes naked pictures of you and puts them on the Internet, you can't decide who watches or downloads them. So this is still forbidden. Finally Mr Davies had done something wrong that would even be wrong today but he did it only because he wasn't allowed to have a girlfriend like you. And it would have been quite easy for him. We was a really handsome young man and he has always known how to treat young girls. And I must point out that Mr Davies didn't go to prison because the times had changed and something like an "amnesty" was pronounced for all the many persons who got caught in the "Internet Bust" about 15 years ago.

Could I help you with your questions?

Yes, I think so. At school they tell us to "summarize in our own words". So, let's try: Back then it was forbidden for everybody to have a young girlfriend or boyfriend. So some men did bad things to kids because they couldn't live without a boy or a girl. But there were also evil men who loved to rape kids. Both got mixed up and all men who liked kids were sent to prison, even men who did nothing wrong and were just nice to a girl. So George is still afraid because half his life he had to be afraid. My History teacher told us that history has still an effect on our lives today. I didn't want to believe him but now I understand. It makes me sad. I think I should talk to George about in on holiday.

Thanks, Emma, you helped me a lot. And cross you fingers for me that everything will be fine when we are on holiday 😉. CU!

I wish the two of you the very best, See you!
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Subject: Status change of relationship

Hi Glen

here it comes again:

Sexual relationship of Deborah Smith and George Davies changed to

\- mutual

\- (exploratory)

Development of relationship

After about three months of sexual relationship that concentrated exclusively on the exploration of her feelings Debbie wanted to give pleasure to me, too. I don't have to go into detail here but I was very reluctant, not only because my old traumas showed up again but also because at least for me this "innocent" exploratory phase is the greatest part of a man-girl relationship. It feels like the essence of love to a little girl: physical intimacy and innocence at the same time. No adult component. So I evaded her and a couple of weeks later this lead to the counseling session with Mrs Dubois.

We both thought that changing our daily routine right away would be too prosaic and so we decided to go on holiday together to have time only for ourselves. And what shall I say, it worked out perfectly. We had great weather and a beautiful hotel (I spent much too much money). We went to the beach, we went hiking and (anticipating her mother's wishes) did some sightseeing. And in the evenings and nights we spent hours of talking about my former life, the times before the ADP and society in general. This lead to our first mutual experience. She insisted on me being naked and really wanted to explore everything. The exploratory phase was over for her quite quickly and so we shared mutual intimacy each night. Yet anything more than gentle touching still seems to be a problem for Debbie. Yet, there are many things to share and many things to look forward to. We have been home for a week now and before Debbie goes on holiday with her parents tomorrow we have been given plenty of time together.

Many things to come, I'm really happy.

Best wishes,

George
From:

The Smith Family

To:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Subject: Evaluation sheet – First year of Accompanied Development

Name of girl: _Deborah Smith_

Name of educator: _George Davies_

a) Parents

Rating (1-10): _10_

Comments

[filled in by Mrs Smith Martinez] _Debbie's first year on the ADP has been a great challenge for us parents. To evaluate our experience I should start much earlier than the beginning of the program one year ago. After Debbie's 9.5 examination it became clear that she was a person who could profit from participating in the Program. She has always been a kind of girl who liked to relate to adults and liked to spend time with adults. The examination showed that first signs of preteen development would appear soon and that she would be provided with an easier start into her adult life when being close to an adult friend. My husband and I had long talks about these results and after much research and personal talks with ADP representatives we finally decided to enroll for the Program. Of course we didn't explain everything to Debbie because she was really little then and we thought that she wouldn't understand it completely but her fried Tina O'Connor (about one and a half years older) had told her more than we would have ever told and obviously Debbie has always been more mature than we thought._

So the program started and Mr Davies made a good impression on us, but this has already been said. When Debbie and Mr Davies started to spend more time together I finally realized that the program is all about growing up and becoming more independent. As a mother it was hard for me to accept, even though I should have been prepared. I am really sorry that I acted the way I did and gave all of the participants a hard time. Even though I repeatedly chose the wrong words and the wrong register both Mr Davies and Mr Driver stayed very polite and explained the ADP to me again in exactly the words I was able to grasp at this time.

Debbie took her time to become more intimate with Mr Driver and when first real intimacy developed he had already proven to me that his goal was to be a real mentor and friend to my daughter. I was afraid that she could be spoiled too much in any way I could imagine. But it turned out that what they had been doing was in any case in accord with her maturity. Luckily Debbie was never rushing things and for more than half a year the two of them spent their time together in a very innocent way. Finally Mr Davies surprised me with playing a little concert together with Debbie after her birthday party. They must have been practicing for month just to surprise us and Debbie's violin skills had improved quite significantly. I must add that Debbie, who had always been quite good at school, even improved her grades and I think that Mr Davies had also spent quite some time with her doing school work.

When we were informed that Debbie had initiated first sexual contact with Mr Driver I was shocked at first but it had become clear by then, that this was only a natural development and it really was not rushed by any side. I talked to Debbie and she told me that Mr Davies is a very reluctant person and that he is always willing to put his own urges aside not to do any harm to her and that she had to "push" him into any development.

And finally they asked to go on a short holiday trip together. I was very reluctant at first (again) but I had learned by then that nothing was to be feared from Mr Davies and obviously they had had a good time. Perhaps better even to my standards than I had imagined because on our own family holiday afterwards Debbie explicitly wanted to visit all the sights and explained many historical and scientific facts to us that she had obviously learned from Mr Davies. Of course I learned later that they also developed their sexuality on their holiday but I had learned to live with it.

To make a long story short, I can accept that my "little Debbie" is not so little anymore and that her relationship to Mr Davies has made her much more self-secure in many ways. She may not be our little girl anymore but she has started growing into an independent person with many interests of which many are up to my own intellectual standards, like making music, being ambitious at school and being interested in many topics like history and science. Perhaps being able to explore her sexuality up to her level of maturity with a loving and caring partner has "cleared her mind" for other topics that could have been blocked otherwise my the growing urges of preadolescence or early puberty.

I must admit that I am impressed by Mr Davies's ability to care for Debbie, to help her develop in many ways and to deal with (sometimes complicated) parents on the other hand. I very much hope that most educators on the ADP are as competent as Mr Davies and I want to apologize again for any problems I may have caused.

[filled in by Mr Smith] _As always I have very little to add. In addition to my wife's long evaluation I want to say that I have spent some private time with Mr Davies and have had some long talks with him about the Program and his own motivation. I want to express a great respect for his life and his achievements. As my wife has already expressed Debbie is very happy and our relations have not suffered from any negative aspects of puberty. But on the other hand she is only eleven. I believe there is yet much to come._

My wife made a small mistake. The birthday concert was after we were informed of the fist intimate contact between Debbie and Mr Davies and my wife was not that positive at first. But alas.

b) Girl

Rating (1-10): For George I'll stay with 10+++ 😃

_The ADP will get only_ 8 _9_

Comments (filled in without parental supervision)

I don't know what mom and dad wrote but I guess that even mom will be quite positive. She has changed quite a bit and likes George now. But this is not about mom.

I just want to say that I love George very much and that I enjoy the time we spend together very much. And I like very much what George and me are doing together because it makes me feel good and I think that it makes George feel good, too. I don't want to write very much about it because I think that this is very private.

But this is the problem with the ADP. It's not allowed to be really private. George has to write everything we do to Mr Driver. He helped us very much but I hate that he knows everything about us and he knows all the things that I only want George to know about me. And there is this horrible Doctor Rockingfellow or whatever he's called. Every six months I'll have to go there and he looks at parts of my body that only George should see and he touches me where only George should touch me and he asks me real embarrassing question about what I do with George and what I do when I'm alone. I hate that very much.

I talked to George about it and he said that this is only for my own good because everybody has to be sure that we only do stuff that "is no harm to me" and that there are still some men who only want to hurt kids and "exploit" and "abuse" them. But everybody should know that George is a nice person and he wouldn't hurt a fly. I think he was checked when he entered the ADP and the people there must know that they can trust him. He said that this is the only way to be together because the politicians always want to know everything and when they don't know everything they forbid things. In former times the things George and me are doing were forbidden because no one knew what kids and adults were doing together and so everybody thought that this was "abuse" or "rape" as George told me.

And at school they tell us that we should give arguments for both sides and George also says that there is something good in every bad thing and the other way round. So it is perhaps good that it is made sure that no one can hurt a kid because there are still many bad people. And everybody should know that it is not bad for a girl to be together with an adult if she wants it. There are still many people who think that what George and I are doing is bad and I must tell a story that I haven't told to anybody but George.

At History lesson we had to do a presentation on something from the past that we find interesting. Because I had so many talks with George about it, I told about the times when it was forbidden to have a relationship between a girl and an adult and I told about the problems many men had and that many girls were left alone when they wanted to have someone to love. And my teacher said that this was a very "hard subject" for a girl my age and that I was very brave to tell about it. But in the break a group of bullies came to me and called me a "kiddie whore" and when I do it with an old man I could do it with them, too, and they used words that I don't want to write down and I was really afraid. So there are still many people who don't believe in the ADP and you should tell everybody that it is good to have a relationship with a man and that many girls love it.

Sorry, I wrote many things that don't belong here and my teachers say that I should only answer the question and say nothing more. Perhaps they are right.

Sorry again.
Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Accompanied Development Program Smith/Davies

archived correspondence

Year Two
From:

Central Police Department

To:

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Subject: Assault on Mr George Davies

Dear Sirs

hereby I want to inform you that on the evening of Wednesday, **/10/**, Mr George Davies was attacked by a group of masked men. He has been severely injured and had to be brought to St. Monica Hospital where he was placed in an artificial coma.

The protocoled evidence of the witness Ms Deborah Smith will hereby be passed on to you:

"George and me visited the movie 'Jamie's Summer' in the 'Ultracine'. The movie was over at 7:30 p.m. and we wanted to go downtown and have a drink at 'Benny's Bubble Bar'. After we crossed St. Monica Street I wanted George to walk through St. Monica Alley because it's shorter and I wanted to kiss George in a place where not so many people are watching. But I forgot that it is October now and it's getting dark quite soon and the alley was all dark because one of the street lights was broken. But because all the people say that I'm brave I wanted to go there nevertheless and I think that it was better when I was a coward because normally nothing happens to cowards.

Yes, Mr Officer, I'll stay on the topic. So when we were at the darkest spot of St. Monica Alley I heard a man screaming 'There is the kiddie whore and her punter!' and I don't know what a 'punter' is but I think they wanted to say something really mean because I was threatened by some bullies at school and they said the same.

And then men came from everywhere. It was five or six men, I don't remember. They wore black masks where you could only see the eyes and black clothes with a white cross on the shirts. And the largest of the men said in a strange voice 'We are the Christian Army of Lost Childhood and we want to save a lost child from damnation!' and I can remember each word because it was so horrible and then he said to me 'In very little time you will be free from molestation and temptation. Pray for your soul and for the soul of your molester because he will be in need of God's mercy!' And I was really afraid because I go to church sometimes and when the minister talks about God he does it in a nice voice and tells only about how God loves us and nothing about armies and violence and masks and stuff.

Sorry, Mr Officer. Then they took some clubs like baseball bats and one of the men wanted to grab me but George hit him very hard and George screamed 'Run!' and at first I didn't move. But then I saw that one of the men hit George with his bat and George was fighting back just to protect me and I have never seen him fighting or being violent and he screamed again and one of the men grabbed me and I bit him really hard and he screamed and I ran away and I called the police and I was lucky because they arrived in no time and the men ran away and the police was after them. And luckily I told that I bit one of the men and I had to spit into a plastic bag because the policeman said they want to get the DNA.

And then I ran back to George and I saw him lying there with blood all over him and then I can't remember anything anymore. Then I awoke in hospital and I had to stay there for two days because I had a shock and I wasn't allowed to see George but I know that he is alive."

Due to the quick reaction of both Ms Smith and the officers at the scene of the crime it was possible to extract a DNA sample from Ms Smith's saliva. One of the attackers could be identified being the father of one of the bullies named by Ms Smith.

Investigations at St. Monica Middle School and the local Christian communities are ongoing. Any help will be appreciated.

Yours faithfully,

Marge O'Hara

Captain
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies

Subject: Wake up!!

My dearest George

I visited you yesterday and today and you are lying on your bed so peacefully. I don't know if you could hear anything but I sat there and I cried because I am really afraid that you'll never wake up again. But the doctor tells me that you will be strong enough to wake up in a couple of days but I am still afraid because I love you and I don't want to live without you anymore.

I know that you can't read this now but I hope that when you wake up you can read it. It was such a wonderful year with you. Do you remember our first visit at Benny's when I wanted to blow you a really small kiss and you weren't allowed to kiss me back? And our fist weekend at St. Monica Fair? And all the trouble with mom? And the beautiful things we did together in the flat and on holiday and the music we played together?

I can't continue because I'm crying so much.

I miss you!

I love you!

Your Debbie
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: Your visit/your questions/my girls

Hi Jeremiah

thank you so much for your visit. It was a real pleasure for me. I am quite lonely down here because I am really used to being around people. Well, Debbie still comes around nearly every day and we talk a lot. Please tell her to keep her mind on her school duties. This should be her prime obligation. And tell her to keep on practicing the violin because I am really looking forward to playing with her when I am 'free' again.

You asked me about my experience on the ADP before Debbie. Well, I have plenty of time now to spend on thinking, remembering and writing. So, if you don't mind, I'll tell you as much as can be told. But please remember that my stories are really personal and have to be kept confidential.

I'll start with a summary. Sorry, but I am just used to writing 'abstracts'.

Well, I have already told you that after the 'Law of ADP' was passed in '28 it took a while until I started with my training. Because I was a quick learner and was really motivated I made it quickly, but it took me nearly 1.5 years. Little later I started with Martina, my first girl. Like all 'first girls' she was older that the normal age of starting the ADP to make it easier for 'newbies' like me. She was quite straightforward and we had a really strange relationship that ended only 15 months later. It took me a while to adjust and I started with Wendy some eleven months later. Wendy was really special – like your daughter but very different. She developed very slowly and we spent nearly four years together. I had never thought that this was possible. Well, it had to end because she had to move on. She was nearly 15 when we split up and it was really hard for her to accept that she had to grow up. I think she still suffers from having to leave her childhood behind. But we are still in contact and she is happy. But more about her later. Well, I really wanted to quit the program then because I didn't know how I was to live through situation like this another time. But nearly two years later I started again and – it was a miss. Georgina was really sweet but somehow we did not go well together. It turned out that a man/girl relationship was not the right thing for her, at least with me, and after three months of Phase I we mutually ended the Program. It was hard for me again but I decided that I should go on because the happiest moments in my life so far I had had with Wendy and I did not want to end a bitter old man blaming myself on having missed the opportunities life could offer. So I started with Debbie and I must say that I am as happy now as I was with Wendy.

So much for now. The doctors are coming in for their round and then it is time for physiotherapy. My next mail will be on Martina. I have already started browsing through my memories.

Best wishes

George
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: Martina

Hi Jeremiah

please tell Debbie that I am really proud of her. Yesterday she came along with her Math paper. This was really astonishing. But back to my subject.

We'll start nearly nine years ago. I was a little younger then, and I had just finished my training. So, what to do? I was waiting for the opportunity of my life and was really excited for the things to come. All my life I had been waiting for a legal opportunity to start a real relationship with a little girl and I was curious of what the Secretary had in store for me. I was happy that I was supervised by Mr Driver because in my training he had been one of the most competent coaches and one of the founders of the ADP. I was prepared that my first girl would be a little older because they say that it would be easier to start with an older, more mature girl. So, Martina. She was twelve and lived together with her father, because her mother had left when she was six. She was told to be quite intelligent and active in her free time. After the regular first letters I met with her and her father, we had a nice talk and – guess where we went at fist – we spent our first month nearly entirely at Benny's. Where else.

Well, she looked younger than twelve but you could quickly recognize that mentally she was far more mature that regular twelve-year-olds. Maybe because she had grown up alone with her father or for some other reason she was really independent and had exact plans what to do when. She obviously loved the time she spent with me and it was obvious that she wanted to become intimate quite early. You may guess from what Debbie has or has not told you that this was a little bit too much for me and it ended up with _her_ being _my_ mentor. This was really strange and – well how shall I put it – it was like in one of these stories that had been passed around in those parts of the Internet that had nearly busted me back in the twenties. She, not even thirteen, looking like eleven; me around forty, an experienced man, father of two. But it was definitely her who seduced me. I wanted to spend our time with harmless activities, some hugs and kisses and was happy as a man could be. _She_ had to wait until _I_ was ready, not the other way around. Well, I had to have some sessions with Mrs Dubois on the Counseling Board to cope with the situation, but after some time I coped quite well. It was only hard for me to accept that all this was possible! After all those years and decades of hardship, suppression and persecution. I was not able to grasp it completely. I am still not, to be true – especially remembering the situation back then.

To make a long story short we had some great time together. Her father was quite happy for his daughter and gave us all the liberties we wanted to have. But at some point of time she started to become political. It was long before her fourteenth birthday that she started to wear green or blue hair and those funny clothes that the teen leftists used to wear. I quickly understood that this was her way to move on. She still wanted to be together with me but I recognized that her new friends started to become more and more important for her. She invited me to their little meetings but I didn't want to go because the last thing people with crude political ideas need is a person who is able to think plainly. I would destroy their little utopia. This was the most important issue between us. She wanted to discuss all her topics with me but I didn't get the point. I have never believed in the world being totally evil, all politicians being corrupt, the economy exploiting everybody and things like that. I could not discuss with her because, well, she was very young, optimistic and enthusiastic. Being settled and critical didn't fit.

So, after not even one and a half years it came to an end shortly after her fourteenth birthday. I knew that she liked the boys of her group very much and, well, she started to be a little bit too grown up for me. She had never been a "little girl" but the time we had was great. I have not met her very often afterwards because then she was as much into her political thing as she had been into me before. Always a hundred percent. That was her way. She is over twenty now and at university. I see her sometimes per chance but there is never more that a short hello.

The Rules say that I had to wait at least six months before starting something new. I had some counseling sessions and spent much time with my family and I enjoyed that very much. The good thing was that I can't say that I really loved her. I adored her, I was happy to be with a girl but there never was this deep kind of caring love that I have for Debbie.

Sorry, I can't continue now. Thinking of Debbie and knowing that I am tied to this horrible bed makes me too sad. Please tell her that I love her and that I want nothing more than to escape my prison to spend time with her. And please tell her that I am proud of her. She is doing really well. And I am proud of you and your wife, too, because you have brought up such an astonishing girl. I'm getting melancholic. Perhaps I need more of this dreadful physiotherapy. The pain makes me feel alive.

Best wishes,

George
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: Wendy

Hi Jeremiah

well, I'm getting better now, little by little. Walking becomes easier and my coordination starts to come back to normal. My left eye will perhaps never be the same again but what the heck, I am no pilot. Thank you for your visit and send my best regards to your wife. I enjoyed her publication very much and we need to talk about it. I'll be writing a nice and critical review when I'm out of here. And tell Debbie that she doesn't need to impress me by getting all these outstanding grades. I love her and it won't change anything if she is good or bad at school. But of course it matters to me and I am proud of her. Tell her again, that she should do something together with her friends on Mondays and Wednesdays. She wouldn't listen to me because she thinks that she would do something like "cheating on me" if she did something else that working for school or practicing the violin on "our" afternoons.

But back to my topic. Well, I already told you that I waited a couple of months before returning to the Program but then I started again. Her name was Wendy, she was about to turn eleven and she had a nice family. She really turned out to be a little girl. I don't know why she was proposed for the Program and who decided that she was ready to start but mentally she was a little girl. Yet she loved me on first sight and I also liked her very much. But her love was a little girl kind of love for a random, nice adult. In the beginning we really played a lot together. She was sitting on my lap like a toddler and we read books. And she wasn't even small for her age. It was totally strange. It was obvious that she liked me very much and Mr Driver decided that Phase I should end after the appropriate time. But it did not change anything. We were still playing, going to Benny's, doing school work reluctantly (she had never been a very good performer) doing all kinds of fun stuff for children but no real kiss, nothing physical. For months and months that seemed to be ages for me. Yet I enjoyed this innocent little thing we were having very much. Well, you have read in the brochures that the ADP is not about physical intimacy but about company and growing up in a safe environment around trusted people. Yea, right. But I really started to love her very much. And sorry, I am an adult.

Then her father died in an accident.

It was the hardest of times for all of us. The Horror. I thought that this would be the end of our relationship and I had a lot of sessions with Mrs Dubois. But after all Wendy coped better than I had ever expected. It brought us closer together. After some months of mourning she started to come back to normal. I don't know how kids can cope so quickly but she (never in an outspoken way) longed for the normality of the times before. She insisted on returning to our routine but something had changed after all. Even though she pretended to be a little girl she wasn't anymore. We had not met for a while and the changes in her body could clearly be perceived. She had also grown quite a bit and she quickly grasped that she was no little kid anymore. Not by her behavior but simply because she was always the tallest kid around and people started looking at her in strange ways. As said above she had never been very outspoken but even though she seemed to suffer from not being a little kid anymore she accepted the fact and she obviously _had to_ do more teen stuff, not because she wanted to, but because society didn't accept her as a little kid anymore. This was the time when she wanted to kiss me for the first time. More than a year had passed since our first meeting. No kiss, no physical contact all the time.

The first kiss was on her twelfth birthday. I don't know if it was something like a present – a present given to _me_ on _her_ birthday, that was the way her mind worked – but this kiss seemed to be the spark that ignited a cascade of feelings that had been deeply hidden inside her. It went quickly from then on. Half a year later we had regular sex but secretly, at odd times, she still insisted on going to the playgrounds of her just ended childhood. And she started to talk about her feelings. We talked a lot about her father and her family and how hard it was for her to convince her mother that the thing we had was totally different and that she did not want to replace her father by me. Finally I was accepted as a kind of family member and I helped where help was needed. Wendy had always tended to ritualize her life and so she developed strong routines that distinguished being a child from being a girlfriend from being a helpful daughter to a single mom. That may sound quite odd but she did it in a really natural way. And I loved her. And she loved me. And we were happy.

This was the time when my kids entered the phase of being able to start on the ADP. My daughter refused to take part. She had never liked being with adults very much. It let me down a bit but everyone is different and unique. Parents have to accept that. My son met a really nice guy and they spent a lot of time together. Well, boys are so much different and I learned how differently the male section of the ADP worked and how different man/boy relationships are. So much more playful and innocent in a way, even though physical exploration _is_ included. But these stories don't belong here. Perhaps you will see for yourself when your son is ready.

Back to Wendy. The next turning point was her first period. She was quite late with it and I had the feeling that in a strange may she even made her body postpone the end of her childhood. She was deeply affected. She would not let me touch her and we had to start all over again. She was nearly fourteen then. She stopped our secret visits to the playgrounds because she felt like being a dirty adult who had no right to have innocent fun anymore. Mrs Dubois helped a lot but it was never the same again. She realized that she had lost her childhood for good. I don't know if this is the appropriate place to tell, but even her way of regarding sexuality had changed. We had been careful long before because you can't be sure (if you know what I mean) but now she same thing we started doing again was different for her. Before, it had been something some bigger girls do with the man they love but now it was adult sexuality and she hated being an adult. And so the last year of our relationship faded out in her clinging to me as the last tie to her childhood. But it did not work. We still loved each other but for her, having also read the ADP brochures, the Program was "a safe way to accompany a child through the difficult preadolescent and early teen years into becoming a strong and self-confident teen and young adult" – one of the more trite phrases. She had become a real teen now. Not very self-confident but strong. So the Program had to end – at least for her. Her logic. We both suffered greatly. First our intimacy ended, then we did not have anything to say to each other anymore. She prolonged it beyond the vanishing point but finally it was over. Out. We both went our separate ways. We met from time to time but it was too sad for both of us, so for some time we even stopped that. It was also quite hard for her mother because she had started to like me, too (I don't know in which way and I don't want to know).

So if you ever see a young woman going down the slides on a playground in the early evening hours when the kids have gone to bed it most probably is Wendy. She will be a great mother though and will have a lot of fun with her kids. She has a nice boyfriend now, is still living with her mother and copes well. Once she told me how much she cherishes her memories of her time with me and how much she wishes for her children to be given a like opportunity. So the ADP had worked out fine after all.

And what happened to me? I was totally shattered. I had many sessions with Mrs Dubois and finally found a monastery in a lonely place in the mountains where guests were accepted and the daily routine of physical work, prayers and complete silence cleared my mind. I returned back to normal after a while and had a normal life with my family. Personally I don't know why my wife accepts all this. Well, she is hard working and we don't spend very much time together. But we share so many memories and common interests. And that is why it is good to be together with an adult and to do things together that you can't do with kids. And I am not talking about sex. There are so many things like having a good drink, going to the opera, talking science and politics and other adult stuff. So we had a good time together (even though I do think that she has a secret lover after all) and I nearly vowed never to take part in the Program again. Luckily I didn't. Breaking your own vows never feels good.

Walking around town I saw some couples sitting at Benny's, I had some random chats with little girls and made them giggle and feel comfortable at once. So I started to realize again what I was made for, what I can do best.

Well, my wife had started to get bored by all the good drinks and dinners and all the culture we had, and accepted an assignment at St. Monica University. The kids had started to become more independent and also did not want me to be around all day long. So I finally went back to the ADP. Well, before I had to do some workout for quite a while because of all the good food and all the good drinks I wasn't in shape for the program. They have some strict regulations, you know. So after a while it started all over again. Totally differently again. But more of that later. My daily routine starts again. More pain but real progress. My days in prison are numbered.

Best wishes,

George
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: Georgina

Hi Jeremiah

the end is nigh! Hopefully I'll be out soon! Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I have heard the rumors that you are planning something for me. Well, I am curious. Remembering my life a couple of years ago with Wendy has made me really sad and longing for Debbie. She told me that she wants nothing more than spending some time with me after all these weeks. She told me that she wants do have a good time before her Physical that is to come in December. You know how much she hates these examinations. I think I should talk to Mr Driver about this topic. I don't know what Mr Rockenfeller does to her but she was always really agitated when the exams were over. Please tell her that this is nothing to be afraid of and a normal part of the Program.

But back to my girls. The last part of my story is going to be quite short.

I have already told you that after Wendy I found my way back quite slowly but finally decided to go to the Program again. So it all started over again. Georgina was a sweet little girl (and really good looking) and, guess what, we did not only share the same name but she was one of the girls I had met downtown shortly before I decided to return to the Program. We were quite happy about that because she told me that she had liked me at first sight and was really happy to spend some time with me. Her parents were very open and cooperative, her father had even started the ADP training himself and was very happy for his daughter. The first difficulty was to find a place to go. Georgina was allergic to nearly everything so Benny's was out. Well, we did some nice things together but we really didn't have anything to talk about. She was interested in ponies and unicorns (like many girls) but absolutely in nothing serious. All the kids I had met until then – on the ADP, in my church groups – have been enthusiastic about something serious and most girls could be made interested in nature, environment, animals, or even what formerly would have been call 'boy topics' like space exploration (good old NASA helped quite a bit with their Mars exploration program). I am so happy that Debbie is a little nerd sometimes (no offense). Have you seen her Humans to Mars diorama? Sorry. Back to Georgina. We didn't find a common ground. Well, I did not want to tell her the sexual innuendo with the unicorns but she wasn't even interested in a deeper understanding of classical fairy tales or the history of the Middle Ages. I even read books on tending horses, riding and other horrible stuff, but her interest never went that deep. Well, it is told that the educators are chosen from a similar social, economic and educational background. But that obviously did not fit with Georgina. Her parent were educated, committed, everything. Their daughter wasn't. She was totally superficial. I was the wrong person for her. Some nice working class guy with no real interests would have been right. Yes, I am superficial, too. Sometimes.

We were granted another month of Phase I but it was over before it had started. Having just come to terms with the Wendy situation this was a major setback for me. And for her parents. Her father was really let down because he had wished for his daughter to have a good relationship on the ADP. He also wanted to have someone to awaken at least a little bit of serious interest in his daughter and help her with school work. You might guess that she was not performing very well.

Georgina didn't care much. She continued her life with her superficial little friends. I have not met her since then. She is not at St. Monica school. I even forgot her birthday. She must be twelve now. Still the best of ages. So, lucky for me, lucky for you, lucky for Debbie I started again six months later (and these months were long) and met a really sweet and intelligent girl from a really nice family with a really caring mother (you know what I mean) and a great father who has become a real friend. No one knows how this is going to end but it has to end one day. I can't figure out how but Debbie is maturing so quickly that one day she will not need me anymore. I am getting melancholic again. Time to get out of this horrible hospital. Tell Debbie how much I miss her. And you and me will have to go out, too.

Best wishes

George
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Formal invitation

Dear Mr Davies

I hereby formally invite you to an out-of-hospital and get-well party. You are free to arrive at the Smith's place at Friday afternoon for a formal meal with formal greetings from the formal family members including your formal friend Deborah. Even though the weather is to be predicted informally horrible you are invited to leave instantaneously for a weekend at the seaside together with the lady aforementioned. An appropriately equipped accommodation will be provided in due time.

You are free to respond to this formal invitation by choosing one of the following replies:

[ ] Yea: I take the invitation gratefully.

[ ] Nay: I did not understand a word and would like to reconsider.

[ ] What??

Yours faithfully, respectfully or whatever

Deborah Smith

Caution. The formal part ends now. If you are offended by informal speech you will have to stop reading now!

Yay, you'll be out soon! I have waited so long for this day! This stupid invitation was dad's idea but he didn't help me much writing. I wanted him to rent a pink Caddy for you but he didn't. We also couldn't afford the Presidential Suite. But after our formal dinner we'll have all the weekend for ourselves. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to this. And you can't tell how much I have missed you.

And when we are home again I'll have this horrible examination with this doctorfellow again. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!!!!

But I love you so much!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

XXX

Debbie
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Deborah Smith

Subject: Re: Formal invitation

Oh my beloved Lady,

Thy gen'rous offer made me ponder much but in the deepest parts of my poor and lonely heart the splendor of perceiving just a glimpse of Thine overwhelming love and beauty makes my smitten body rise again from mortification. Do with me what Thou wilt be the whole of my law. I choose the Yea and may Thou not be abashed.

Thy humble servant

George
From:

David J. Rockenfeller, MD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Includes major warning. Program to be temporarily suspended until further investigation

Examination: _in-program 11.5_

Name : _Deborah Smith_

Physical development

\- Breast: _Tanner St. III (elevation increasing, areola widening, papilla forming visibly)_

\- Pubic hair: _Tanner St. III (pigmented hair on lower part of mons pubis and upper part of labia majora)_

\- Underarm hair: _Wolfsdorf St. II (small patches of slightly pigmented hair on upper part of armpit)_

_-_ Physical examination revealed a ruptured hymen and micro injuries in vagina!

\- Menarche: _+7m ± 2m_

\- Ovulation: _+12m ± 3m_

Mental development

D. refuses to cooperate. Vaginal injuries not explained.

Reasons for temporal suspension of program

\- Detection of vaginal injuries and the total refusal of cooperation indicates abuse/rape.

\- I strongly recommend to prevent any contact between Mr. Davies and Deborah Smith.

The ADP investigation board has been contacted immediately.
From:

ADP investigation board

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of first investigation

Situation

The 11.5 Physical and Mental Examination of Deborah Smith, performed by Mr David J. Rockenfeller, MD, showed minor vaginal injuries possibly caused by forced penetration. Under the given circumstances Mr George Davies, PhD, had to be suspected of unprepared/forced penetration. The program had to be suspended. Any form of contact had to be prevented until clarification of these suspicions.

Questioning of G. Davies

Mr Davies stated that his relationship with Ms Smith had been sexual for slightly less than eight months. He confirmed that any regular intimate contact had always been non-penetrative. Ms Smith was described as very reluctant concerning penetration due to pain experienced during penetration. Digital penetration had been tried ca 4 months ago and had not been repeated.

Questioning of D. Smith

Ms Smith refused to cooperate with the investigators. She said that this matter was strictly personal and she would only talk to Mr Davies in person. She confirmed repeatedly that she loved Mr Davies and that she felt ill-treated by the investigators and especially by Mr Rockenfeller. Finally she complied to talk to Mrs Dubois from the counseling board.

Results

Mr Davies has always had an outstanding reputation as an educator on the ADP. There is no reason not to believe his statement. Yet, due to Ms Smith's lack of cooperation, the program cannot be continued until final evaluation. A counseling session will be scheduled shortly.

The investigation board strongly wishes for a quick clarification. Both Mr Davies and Ms Smith are suffering from the separation. The investigation board does not believe in Ms Smith having been forcefully penetrated by Mr Davies. The final decision will be pronounced after the counseling session.

J. Arthur Sevens

(Director ADP investigation board)
The ADP counseling board – urgent intervention

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

Deborah Smith has joined the session

Hi Debby, what is going on?

Hi Emma. It is most horrible. The horriblest of horrible imaginable.

Please, Debbie, please talk to me. Nobody is able to help you if you are not talking!

But there are only horrible persons around. These dreadful investigators and this horrible Mr Rockenfellow with his touching and looking and asking and stuff. I hate him! I don't want to be touched by this dirty old man. And his raising the eyebrow look. I don't want to talk to anybody except George. I love him and I want to be with him and I want to do with him what we want to do. I don't want to answer questions all the time and I don't want to be ordered around by people who don't know me. We are doing nothing wrong. And now they don't allow to see George or even write him. I hate your program!

Yes, I know what you are feeling. But you also know that after your last examination some really severe accusations were made against George. And as long as you talk to nobody they can't allow to let you meet again. Please tell at least me why Mr Rockenfeller found what he did find with your body.

I hate to talk about it because it is so embarrassing. You know that George is a really nice man and that he would never hurt me in any way. But you know my fried Tina. She is 13 now and she is really active with her grown up pal if you know what I mean. She told me some things and I don't know if I am ready for that and if I'll ever be ready for that. But she also told me how nice it feels to be really, really close to somebody you really love. And then I told her that we aren't doing stuff like that and she said that I should try because it feels really good. But I didn't tell her that it really huts for me and that we don't do it because of that. But when George was in hospital I missed him so much and I wanted to be really close to him when he is out and I thought that if it won't work for me I should be practicing. And so I practiced but it hurt even more and when I saw some blood I stopped and was quite sad because we could not do it when George comes out. But I didn't tell George about it because this is quite embarrassing and when we were on our weekend trip we only did what we were doing before and I loved it and I know that I will be ready one day and I want to wait because I don't want to feel pain but want to enjoy it.

Thanks Debbie. I can understand you. Can I tell the investigators what you have just told me? I think they will also understand you and I hope that they will end the situation you are in.

It is really embarrassing but now I would really do anything. I miss George so much and I missed him so much when he was in hospital and I want to be together with him. If your investigators don't want me to do anything of that kind with him I would even do that. I only want to see him again. But please don't tell George. If I have to, I want to tell it myself.

Thank you for permitting to speak to the investigators. But I can't promise that George won't be informed before you are able to talk to him. Investigations like this one involve a lot of paperwork and I think that George will have to read all the reports. But I promise that he won't be mad at you because you didn't tell him. If all this is over he also will be very happy.

Please allow another question. You don't have to answer it. Why didn't you tell all this in the first place?

I said that this is very embarrassing. But this is not all. It is also about this doctor. I don't want to see him again. He really isn't very nice and he doesn't know how to talk about things like that. George told me that all the things we do have to be reported to protect me from whatever. And George also told me how things were when he was young. And now I can see how things were back then. Kids who loved adults must have been treated as bad as I was. When this doctor examined me he was really shocked and thought that I was raped or something and he asked me in a very rude way what happened and who did this to me and what George did to me and things. And I didn't want to talk to him because he wouldn't understand and I only wanted to go back to George but then he called some men and they brought me home and they took away my phone and this was like it must have been back then. And then these men came and asked other questions and I didn't want to talk to anybody. And I hate this year because it started so nice but with the attack of these men and George in hospital and now this it ends really bad. Please make sure that I can see George again and please don't make me see this doctor again. I hate him.

Thank you again for you trust. I'll see what I can do about it. I wish the two of you the very best.

Bye and thank you so much, you are always so nice to me 😊
From:

The ADP investigation board

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of investigation

Final evaluation

The still missing testimony of Deborah Smith was presented by Emma Dubois, PhD, ADP counseling board.

Mrs Dubois confirmed the credibility of the testimony.

Taking into account the results of the 11.5 examination administered by David J. Rockenfeller, MD, the results of the questioning of George Davies, PhD, and the aforementioned testimony by Deborah Smith, the ADP investigation board has come to the conclusion that the mentioned injuries are self-inflicted and no act of violence by Mr Davies can be established.

The ADP Smith/Davies has to be continued immediately.

It will be considered to assign a new physician to Ms Smith due to an obvious lack of trust.

The Accompanied Development Program wants to express its deepest regrets for having caused a situation like this but has to confirm that the regulations are set in place for the protection of the participants and have to be followed strictly to assure mental and physical health of the minors enrolled in the program.

J. Arthur Sevens

(Director ADP investigation board)
From:

Susan Smith Martinez, PhD

To:

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Subject: Complaint about the treatment of participants of the ADP Smith/ Davies

Dear Sirs

I must strictly and to the highest degree complain about the way you have treated A) educators of highest standing like Mr George Davies and B) minors in the most critical phase of development like my daughter Deborah Smith. It may be true that strictly following the Rules of the Program only fulfills the purpose of protecting minors from any kind of sexual maltreatment, yet your reaction has been highly exaggerated. You may have been well aware of the deep and trustful relationship both participants were having and the improbability of any form of abuse occurring in this setting. From the records presented to me and from my personal experience Mr Davies must be known to you as a most trustworthy person. The untrustworthy part of your staff obviously is Mr Rockenfeller.

He was the one to cause your overreaction and he strictly insisted of following the Rules to the last comma. He has also created an atmosphere of indisposition in my daughter from his way of treating her. Having performed some investigations I have found out some facts according Mr Rockenfeller that I will pass on to the press. To prevent the APD from any harm I strictly recommend to dispense with Mr Rockenfeller as soon as possible. I also expect you to leave our family, our daughter and Mr Davies in peace, at least for the holiday season.

Faithfully,

Susan Smith Martinez, PhD
[Commentary taken from the St. Monica Observer. Archived in this conversation due to connection to ADP Smith/Davies. No public comments to be given.

G. Driver]

Inside the ADP

The Accompanied Development Program – a safe place for young teens or just another place for corrupt careerists?

By Esteban Echevarria

YOUR CHILD is getting close to his/her teen years. Don't you wish for a safe and protected environment where he/she can cope with the challenges of growing up?" Many parents have heard this call, many have considered, have talked to their kids and their doctors, have even decided to take part in the Accompanied Development Program (ADP). Once heavily fought over this Program has become an accepted part of our society. Many parents have shared their experience publicly, many young adults who took part have spoken in favor of it. Apart from some religious minorities and ultra-conservative activists we all believe in the benefits of exploring love, exploring your own body in a safe environment. But is it true? Some worrying news have made us see this Program from another angle. Not the best one to be honest.

We know the news and we have heard it quite too often in the past years. 'Young Couple Attacked by Right-wing Activists', 'ADP Lecture Disturbed by Extremists' and so on. Yes, we thought, those who live in the past are still on the run, hopefully they will be extinct very soon; we, the liberal and free thinking members of our society, have to be careful not to lose the rights we have fought for; or, even worse: I don't care – if it's good for the kids let the ADP in peace. The foundation of all these thoughts is: The ADP are the good guys.

Change of place: "I must confess that I have committed minor mistakes in my office as Specialist for Physical and Mental Examination on the Accompanied Development Program. Even if I have always served in the best interest of the safe development of young teenagers I will resign my duty on the ADP. Those who have supported my efforts will know that I have not committed any severe failures. My sincere thanks go to Mrs Jenna White, Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education for her support." David J. Rockenfeller, MD.

Background: You may or may not have heard of the recent attack on another ADP couple. Mr Gregory(*), professor at the local University and long standing ADP member, was nearly beaten to death by a group of bullies who called themselves the 'Christian Army of Lost Childhood'. Well, the police have found out that no such army exists. Publicly.

One and a half months later. Mr Gregory's ADP girlfriend attends her six-monthly examination administered by Mr Rockenfeller. A great outcry. Abuse! Rape! The cavalry moves in. Mr Gregory, just recovered from hospital, is forbidden to see his girlfriend for another couple of weeks. Results: nothing. Their relationship had been as safe and innocent as all the ADP relationships we have ever heard of or even experienced ourselves. Well, we might think, the ADP seems to be a little over-protective but we have to prevent abuse and rape at all costs. So far so good.

We would have filed this news away. No one would have heard a thing about it. But Mrs Miller(*), mother of Mr Gregory's girlfriend, did not keep quiet and found out some disturbing facts. Mr Rockenfeller, holding neither a degree in pediatry nor having had any previous experience with children and teenagers was made leading physician on the regional ADP board. One George Winkelstein, his former classmate and member of the same student society as Rockenfeller, is the lawyer of a convicted member of the notorious 'Christian Army'. Our highly esteemed Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education is married to another member of this society, called geek "Alpha Pi". Is it just coincidence that you'll have to confess publicly that you will stand and fight for heterosexual adult marriage when entering this society? Is it just coincidence that the funds for evaluation and research on the ADP have just been cut due to 'shortages in the budget'? Is this just a conspiracy theory?

Well, the former sexual rights activist of the twenties might say 'I have always been right that the government should stay out of the private lives of the citizens' (and who doesn't remember all the "Stay Out"-pamphlets). On the other hand, we have fought, we have discussed, we have reached a compromise to protect our children and to allow adult-teen relationships. We have decided that control had to be necessary.

So we will have to be careful. Let the ADP do what they have always claimed to do: to protect our children from any harm, to ensure safe development and to make CYTL people be a helpful and beneficial part of our society. But keep politics out of it. It is just too stained for our youths.

By the way, Mr Rockenfeller has just become the director of St. Monica Hospital. Coincidence?

The author is director of the 'Independent Research Institute for Teen Development' in Saint Monica. Having always claimed not to have any CYTL tendencies, he was one of the leaders in the (derogatorily) so called 'pedo battles' in the mid-twenties and has always supported a strict separation of the ADP and political institutions.

(*) Names changed by the publishers
From:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Changes in ADP Smith/Davies

Dear Mrs and Mr Smith, dear George,

at first I want to wish all of you a happy new year. May it bring more joy then the old one.

Secondly I have to pass on a letter from the Secretary herself. It brings some good news.

Best wishes,

Glen Driver

Dear Mrs Smith Martinez, dear Mr Smith, dear Mr Driver, dear Mr Davies,

I want to inform you that Ms Deborah Smith has been allocated a new physician to perform her Physical and Mental Examinations. Due to the hardship caused by some minor negligence of our former member Mr Rockenfeller, MD, it was the prime goal of the Secretary to choose a trustworthy member of the ADP medical team. Even though only just having achieved her degree in developmental gynecology, Mrs Emma Dubois, long standing member of the ADP counseling board and trusted counselor of both Mr Davies and Ms Smith, has been chosen to administer medical attendance. I deeply hope that this decision will be appreciated by all participants.

The recent events have lead to internal investigations and a possible re-structuring of the ADP. In the best interest of all members of the ADP I would kindly ask you to refrain from any contact to the press until this process has reached a point where we decide to make any results public ourselves.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Yours faithfully

Jenna White

(Secretary of Youth Culture and Education)
From:

Emma Dubois

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of extraordinary Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _in-program 11+7.5m, extraordinary_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

Physical development _(No major physical changes to previous examination)_

\- Breast: _Tanner St. III (elevation increasing, areola widening, papilla forming visibly)_

\- Pubic hair: _Tanner St. III (Pigmented hair on lower part of mons pubis, and upper part of labia majora)_

\- Underarm hair: _Wolfsdorf St. II (small patches of slightly pigmented hair on upper part of armpit)_

\- Menarche: 5m ± 45d

\- Ovulation: 10m ± 3m

Annotations referring to 11.5 examination:

General remark:

A ruptured hymen does not conclusively indicate sexual intercourse.

Specifically:

(a) The hymen is only partly torn. Intercourse with an adult man would have possibly lead to a complete rupture.

(b) Vaginal injuries could not be detected and must have healed. Forced intercourse at this state of development would possibly have lead to more severe injuries.

Mental development:

Deborah showed great joy in myself being her doctor. She repeatedly pronounced that she would tell me everything.

She told that she deeply admires and loves Mr Davies. She was very proud of him having fought the criminals and having been willing to protect her by even giving his own life. Having been forced to refrain from any physical contact both by Mr Davies's hospital stay and the suspension of the Program had had the effect that she now wanted to be even closer to him. Not being able yet to perform sexual intercourse let her down because she was longing for this kind of "deepest love" (quote). Yet, her imagination of intercourse is still very romantic and highly influenced by the obviously exaggerated sex stories of her friend Tina O'Connor. She still has problems to merge her imagination with the obvious pain she experienced trying.

In conclusion she wants to be as close as possible to Mr Davies and deeply wishes for her body to develop quickly. On the other hand many aspects of sexuality still remain in a more or less childish and romantic state. It has to be stated that this is typical behavior for girls her age.

If the wish for intercourse persists and Deborah's development is progressing another extraordinary examination can be requested at any time.

Due to the predicted onset of menarche a physical examination will be scheduled in 3.5 months (earliest predicted onset).
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Subject: Status change of relationship

Hi Glen

Sexual relationship of Deborah Smith and George Davies changed to

\- penetrative

\- no intercourse

Development of relationship

I know that it is not necessary to write a report for a minor status change like this but there are so many things I must write about and I know no one else to write to. Debbie is on a class trip and is not allowed to have any contact to the "outside". So I am quite lonely and I have plenty of time (again!). I don't know if you are going to read all this but what the heck.

As said before, on the little trip after my time in hospital we did nothing that we hadn't done before. I didn't even recognize what she had been doing to herself because, well, we only touched in the way we used to touch and it was really nice to be so close to her again. The incident with Mr Rockenfeller changed a lot for us. I learned what she had been doing and that she obviously wanted to have "real sex" very badly but hadn't told me. I was just waiting and you know that I am quite good at waiting. Had I known what she wanted and that she had been "practicing" it would have been much easier. Mr Rockenfeller could have been warned and no situation like this had arisen. But alas. Perhaps this is best for the Program after all so they'll have the chance to check all the loose ends. Of course I was not present at Debbie's examination with Emma but she was REALLY happy when I picked her up and she told me all the results. Of course I waited until our next meeting and prepared myself.

So, now I'll have to get explicit. Luckily I am alone and have opened a good bottle of wine.

We met at the flat and Debbie didn't even want to look at her school work or play the violin with me but really jumped at me in a way she had never done before. And we did it. I was well prepared and I must say with a little help she really doesn't seem as under-developed down there as everyone (including herself) wants me to believe. She really enjoyed it very much and I don't think that too much time will pass until we will have "real sex". But on the other hand, the way we are doing it now I am much more sensitive to feeling her every movement, to control the way to please her than with "real sex", and for now this is the best I can give to her. Of course I have to be the one to stand back but the pleasure of giving love to a girl I love and adore compensates for everything.

But there is something else that I want to talk about, something that isn't really connected to Debbie. When we were lying there next to each other and she was looking into my eyes very deeply, it struck me that I knew these eyes. All my girls on the Program had had blue or grey eyes. But her deep brown eyes reminded me of someone I had nearly forgotten over all those years of _real_ relationships with _real_ girls.

It was back long before the Tor takedown and the "pedo battles" and the ADP. I was leading my church groups and nothing serious happened. I had an inconspicuous life like most of the CYTL people back then. I was leading a younger group then with children too young for me to be attracted to. But one afternoon I had to stand in for another youth leader in an older group. Well, there were some nice girls but it was just one afternoon and I didn't think much about it. Then, another afternoon, I spotted two of the girls being at a place where they were not supposed to be and I asked then in a friendly but sincere way to leave and to find another place to hang around. Why am I telling this? Another week later one of the girls (and one of the girls I hadn't noticed in the first place) spotted me when playing with "my kids" outside, came running to me and said something like "Hi Mr Davies, nice to meet you again" and she looked into my eyes and I was completely lost in her dark brown deep eyes. I was thunderstruck. I could only stammer some polite syllables and stood there recovering. Well, I had been fighting with myself over my sexual orientation and didn't want to believe what I was really feeling for young girls. But from then on I was totally aware of myself. I had never felt something like that before with a woman my age. It changed everything.

I finished my group professionally, drove home carefully and thought about this situations for a long while. I told myself that it was only me and that this look hadn't meant anything for her. But next week she came over to me again, greeted me in a really nice way, was obviously happy to see me (she barely knew my name and nothing else about me) and we developed a little routine of saying hello and waving at first, then, sometimes, not regularly, we started clapping our hands when we met. I didn't know what she was after and why she did it but each time we met she looked at me in this serious and slightly ironic way that was totally open at the same time. I couldn't help myself and really fell in love with her. I took some extra courses at my parish just to meet her and finally asked her name (it took a while until I dared to). It seemed to me that I was not the only one to change his routine just to meet "accidentally" but of course I couldn't know. I never figured out what she wanted from me because she never was alone and always had one of her girlfriends with her. Not always. There was one occasion when she was running around the yard alone. I was there accidentally (really!) and she came over to me, said hello and slightly touched my arm in a small gesture of affection. After a split second of touch she jerked back like being startled from showing more affection than appropriate, said bye and quickly ran away. I was struck again. Like gigawatts of energy being transferred by this tiny touch.

She was gone for a while after that but from then on she used every excuse to touch me in an innocent way that didn't seem to be conspicuous to her friends (high fives, fist bumps et cetera). We started talking a little. She was twelve and about to turn thirteen. She may have looked younger but from this special, serious way she was talking you could guess that she was no little girl anymore. I gave her a little present after her thirteenth birthday and told her that she was a real teenager now. She blushed in a really cute way and I wanted to do everything with her in that moment but I didn't. I never met her alone again.

We didn't have more than innocent touches and innocent small talk. After fall break she didn't know me anymore. I became invisible. Totally. I never figured out what she wanted from me, why she did what she had been doing. She came out of the blue, was nice to me, showed me her affection, conquered my heard and pushed me back into invisibility and the dim twilight of my unfulfilled existence. Why?

From then on I was much more aware of myself. I had some more little girlfriends but nothing very much more serious. But it were always the girls who chose me, not the other way around. I only had to be there and to be nice and the girls came to me with their problems or just for receiving my affection of what I had plenty to give.

Why am I writing this? Oh yes, Debbie's eyes. She same deep dark brown eyes. Now, after all these years, more than two decades, it becomes clear that the founders of the Program bad been right. There have always been kids who have special "antennas" for adults who like them in a special way. They can see through our facades and feel the affection that we have for them by nature. I don't know if the process of predicting who could possibly profit from a relationship on the Program works well, at least after my experience with Georgina; and I don't know if choosing possible couples beforehand and letting them explore each other in Phase I is the right way but for me it had worked out quite well (with the exception of Georgina of course).

I'll have to stop now. The bottle is empty and I am empty, too. I am looking forward to things to develop between Debbie and me but I am enjoying very much the situation we are in now. And I miss her each time she is gone. And I am afraid of the way it is going to end. Really have to stop now.

Bye

George
From:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Re: Status change of relationship

Hi George

if you want to talk please contact your counselor. That is what she is there for. And I don't have to remind you that the consumption of alcoholic beverages and any kind of drugs on the ADP is strictly prohibited. This INCLUDES writing official reports for the ADP files. You have been through trouble enough lately and you don't want to get into more. So please stay on the topic.

You know that before getting my position in the ministry I acted as a counselor on the ADP but this is over now. Mrs Dubois is your counselor and she loves to accompany both of you. If you wish for more talk I'll grant her access to your "status report". I know that times are often hard on the Program and I have been through hard times in my active days. But you also know that many of the Rules are based on my (and other's) experience in the "pre-official" exploratory phase of the ADP back in the twenties. And I can assure you that many of the mistakes done could be blamed on alcohol. So, keep a cool head and a clear mind. But nevertheless keep in mind that I appreciate your work very much.

Best wishes

Glen
The ADP counseling board

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

George Davies, PhD, has joined the session

Hi George, everything OK with you?

Hi Emma, well, I told Mr Driver to pass my "status report" on to you and you must have read it by now. It's all these confusing thoughts about the past and the present and the future. Debbie is mentally maturing so quickly that I feel that I cannot keep up with her. And then these troubling memories I told Glen about in my confusing mail and all the thoughts about the possibility of adult/girl-relationships came back to me. Perhaps you could help me putting my feelings in the right order again...

Well then. Let's start with the past before moving to the present and the future. Your story seems to be over for decades and much has changed. To the better, you and I suppose. What troubles you again, after all those years?

I don't have to repeat myself. But back then I FELT so much affection. I could not understand what she wanted from me. I asked myself if it could be possible to have a relationship with a girl and I still ask myself if it had been possible to develop something with her similar to what I had with Wendy and what I am having with Debbie. Over all those years I met many girls who kept on saying that I was the best adult ever and (worse) that they wished to have teachers like me at school and (even worse) some little girls told me that they wished I was her father. I had a huge collection of little hearts drawn for me and mails which said how much they liked their groups with me and if it wasn't for me they wouldn't come anymore. And I was hugged so many times even by girls who were too old to hug some adult. Didn't the world see that many girls obviously NEEDED to be very close and "intimate" with an adult man they like? Have there been any sexual feelings? Did they fall in love with me? Even only a small crush? After all these changes I totally forgot about all these questions.

You know that no one can really answer these questions. It was forbidden. No one – you didn't, the girls didn't – dared to do much more than showing this little affection. I can remember that I had a crush on a very nice teacher when I was around eleven. I didn't even dare to tell him that I liked him and that he was my favorite teacher. And when I grew older it just vanished. I began to realize that he was just another adult and I began to like other boys. He still was a nice teacher but nothing more. But if I had had the chance to spend time with him, if I had had the chance to get to know him, if I had had the chance to have a safe environment, like the ADP offers, I don't know what would have developed. Perhaps I would not have made all those experiences with boys that I am not proud of. On the other hand perhaps I would have chosen a different profession and we could not talk now. Everything would have been different. The world was different, we were left alone with our feelings, with our little preteen crushes with our developing sexuality. You know that. Don't forget about the past – it is an important part of you, but keep your mind on the present. You have made it. You are having a wonderful relationship with a really wonderful girl. She loves you and you love her. Isn't that all that counts? Now you know that all that you have dreamed of IS possible. And to come back to your questions, the little girls you talked about must be about my age now and you can believe me that they remember you in the best way and that you have become a part of their lives and their memories. Even though nothing "serious" happened.

It is so nice of you telling me that. You are right, I shouldn't think too much about things I can't change anymore. The memories coming back to me where overwhelming at first, but, well, how to put it, they have become a part of me. What I did back then was as right that what I am doing now. It's perhaps only because I still haven't come to terms with the dilemma that even my feelings towards the girls would have been judged abusive back then. And I only wanted to be close to a girl, to be liked by her, to be there for her. And that hasn't changed.

Yes, you have to accept that this has always been right. The world was not a nice place to be for people like you. But much was possible back then for nice people in a save environment, you know that. But what about the present and the future? Are there things troubling you with Debbie?

Not really. Well. You know what she wants to do with me. She is really exploding with desire lately and she hasn't even turned twelve. It is all happening so quickly. I still can't come to terms with all this developing sexuality. I still see the little girl of last year who enjoyed a shy but passionate kiss from time to time; who snuggled close to me while doing homework and who shyly wanted me to touch her. Who did not know yet what she was feeling and longing for; who in a way was like the girls I was talking about; who showed their affection in a quite innocent way. And now it is just a question of time until we'll have real sex and if this is going on, Debbie will be gone before she turns thirteen because she doesn't need me anymore. And I will turn into the old man again that I really am, just in disguise. She'll see through my disguise and turn away in disgust.

Oh George! Has any of your girls ever "turned away in disgust"? Even Georgina didn't because she turned away on NOTHING because there was NOTHING inside her pretty little head. Sorry to say. (No one is going to read this except perhaps Glen). They all moved on. This is hard enough to accept but they still remember you in the best of ways. You have become one of the most important protagonists of their late childhood and early teens. You have moved their lives in a certain direction, you have shown them that love and trust are the most important factors for a happy life.

And, to be harsh, you live too much in the past and in the future. You are together with Debbie NOW. NOW you are loving each other, NOW you can be there for her in every possible way. Embrace the opportunity you are having. Don't you see her beautiful body? I envy her so much for her developing beauty. It is not easy for a woman to remember that you were as beautiful, too, but you can't have it back. Sorry. This is your counseling session, not mine.

Thank you so much, Emma. But I can't help being myself and that's the way I think. And I don't have any right to complain. Even if the world had developed differently I would still have my wife and my family. Would I have been able to be as happy only with them? But this does not belong here.

I kind of compare Debbie to Wendy. What will happen, when we have sex? Her period is closing so quickly and you doctors are able to calculate it quite precisely nowadays. I really hate to remember the impact this caused on my relationship with Wendy and I am quite afraid of it. Well, Debbie is different. She wants to grow up. But I hate to remember all these ugly condoms I had to put on back then and it ruined much for us. Well, these injections of _Genda-Epp_ are really promising. This is a real change (thanks to science!). But they are really expensive. Really. There will not be very much left on my budget I am able to spent on the two of us if I am taking them.

George, George. You really are some kind of a person. First complaining about not having been able to have a relationship with a girl when you were young, then complaining about Debbie becoming sexually mature, then complaining about the old-fashioned ways of contraception you had to apply a couple of years ago and finally complaining about the latest and safest and most convenient invention being too expensive for you? You are a professor. You have lots of money. Your wife, too. Your kids are about to go to some posh college and you are not willing to spend a few hundred bucks on an EXTREME improvement of your quality of life? How much was the last dinner you had in one of the fancy restaurants of yours? You are one of the very few people I know who really has no problems at all. Sometimes it is even hard for me to understand you. Sorry to be so rude.

Yes, stop it! You are right. You are right. You are right. You are really right. I'm so sorry. And you have such a nice way of showing me again and again how crude I am sometimes. I think I should stop now. I am talking myself into something here. I'll just wait and see (and put some money aside, just kidding). Thank you so much for being so patient with me.

Bye!

Bye George, I wish the very best for the two of you!
The ADP counseling board

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

Deborah Smith has joined the session

Hi Debbie, how can I help you?

Hi Emma, it is good to talk to you again. I just wanted to say thank you for being so nice to me. I really liked the examination with you. It is so much better now.

Thank you, Debbie. I can't understand how someone could be so rude to such a nice girl. But is there anything else?

Yes, of course. Well, it is really hard for me that I have to decide everything on the Program. I would really like it, if George could do with me what he wants to do. But no, I have to decide, I have to take the next step and everything. And everybody keeps telling me like what a big girl I have become and how "mature" I am and stuff. But sometimes I just want to be a little girl. I want George to decide what is right for us and how he can be nice to me and what we can do when we are alone. But that's the way the Program works. I have talked with George about that for so many times that I can't remember.

So I'll have to decide. You now my 12th birthday is in less than two months and my period is going to start about the same time, you told me. Yes, I know I can't get pregnant by then because this will happen later. I read all your reports and my dad explained everything about "menarche" and "ovulation" to me, so I know what is going to happen with my body.

But many more things are happening. It feels so good what George is doing to me now and I want to really feel him. And I want him to feel the same with me and me and him feeling it the same time and everything. If you know what I mean.

Debbie, you don't need to beat about the bush with me. You want to have sex with George, sexual intercourse.

It is still embarrassing to talk about that. I don't even want to talk about that with George. I know that this is childish and that I am no little kid anymore and that I am sooooo mature and stuff. George keeps telling me. But I just want to do it with George because I love him and I want to feel him and I want to make him feel good and not only talk!! 😫

Has anyone told you that that you are quite mature for a girl your age?

Ha ha.

Sorry, just kidding. No offense.

None taken (George told me that this is the "appropriate reply" to "no offense"). I'm good 😉!

So, back to the topic. I told you in our last examination that you can make an appointment anytime if you feel ready. It seems to me that you feel ready now. Just come along and we'll see. But don't be too disappointed if I must tell you that you'll need more time. The most important thing is that you are well.

And you must also know that if I give you the "go-ahead", I'll have to have a session with George and your parents beforehand because they'll have to be informed that your relationship will enter a next and very deep phase. And George will have to convince your parents that he will be careful and responsible with you. I know that you don't like all this talk but, you know, the Rules.

Rules, rules rules. You are really taking all the fun out of it. Can't we just DO what we WANT TO DO? Only talk, talk, talk and control. This is PRIVATE!

Yes, Debbie, I know and I really don't like everything of it myself. But is has to be done and the two of you will be left in peace when all these talks are over.

Really. You now that I have read all the brochures and it says that when I have my period and when I have sex then "monthly examinations will have to be administered to ensure the correct use of measures of contraception and to prevent premature pregnancies". Is that right?

Yes, basically you are right. But please talk to George about it. Something new has been invented that makes his semen sterile so he can't make you pregnant. It has been tested for quite a while and reports of men taking these injections are very positive. No unwanted pregnancies have been reported over the nearly two years these injections have been available. So there doesn't need to be a reason for examining you each month. Isn't that good news? But the ADP directory board has to decide over that.

Why are you adults so complicated and why do you love so much talk and conferences and sessions and paperwork? I don't understand you but no one asks us kids. As always.

And because I am soooo mature and suuuuuch a big girl I've made a decision. I'll wait until my regular next examination and then I'll wait another month and then I take George for a trip on my birthday and I tell him what I wish for my birthday 😉.

I hope that I won't have my period by then so everything is going to be safe 😃.

And then you can examine everybody as often as you like and you can fill in as many papers as you like and you can have as many boring conferences with as many important adults as you like.

This sounds like a good plan. No objection from me. Keep it up. See you in one month!

See you 😃!

You are so great and you are my favorite doctor and a good friend ♥!

(and normally only George gets hearts from me)
From:

Emma Dubois

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _in-program 11+11m (earliest predicted onset of menarche)_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

Physical development

\- Breast: _Tanner St. III_ _(breast forming 'regular shape', only slightly elevated; papilla developed, areola still in contour with surrounding breast)_

\- Pubic hair: _Tanner St. III (Pigmented hair on upper part of labia majora and lower part of mons pubis spreading upwards, longer and thicker unpigmented hair on mons pubis and lower part of labia majora)_

\- Underarm hair: _Wolfsdorf St. II (area covered with pigmented hair increasing, still scant. Lower areas covered with scant, unpigmented hair)_

Menarche: _60d ± 7d_

Ovulation: _6m ± 2m_

Mental development

Deborah still expresses her deep love and affection for Mr Davies. As first pronounced in a previous counseling session she still plans on having sexual intercourse with Mr Davies before the onset of her menarche. Her feelings towards adult sexuality have become slightly more mature. She has informed herself on many aspects of physical maturation and has developed a less romantic but more "scientific" approach. As her menarche is predicted to start in less than two months but her first ovulation will occur at the earliest in four months she has developed a strict "plan" how to "proceed": She will have her first sexual intercourse on her twelfth birthday (before the onset of her menarche), then Mr Davies will have to take regular injections of _Genda-Epp_. She does not believe in the predictability of ovulation because she has read that with sexually active girls ovulation can occur earlier (scientifically not proven).

She has developed a deeper understanding of responsibility, but her approach on sexuality has moved from an unforeseeable feeling of love and romance to a strictly planned "scientific experiment". This shows that her approach is still "pre-teen" in many aspects.

A Q&A-Session with Deborah's parents and Mr Davies is to be held shortly.

The next Physical and Mental Examination is to be scheduled at the onset of her menarche.
The ADP counseling board

Q&A: sexual activity in ADP Smith/Davies

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

George Davies, PhD, has joined the session (GD)

Susan Smith Martinez, PhD, has joined the session (SS)

Jeremiah Smith, MBA, has joined the session (JS)

Hello everyone. As you all know I am Emma Dubois of the ADP counseling board and I also am the person to administer Deborah's Physical and Mental Examinations. I have called this session due to Deborah's explicit wish to become fully sexually involved with Mr Davies shortly. From my report on the last examination you must be well informed about your daughter's plans. I want to discuss any open questions with you according this topic.

SS: Hello Mrs Dubois. I have read your statement that Debbie is not yet as mature as she should be. At home she sometimes acts like a little girl and sometimes she seems to be really grown up. I don't know if she is really ready for that. I don't want to cause any trouble (again), but I am simply concerned about my daughter.

Yes, Mrs Smith Martinez, I can understand that. But you know your daughter. Sometimes she can be really stubborn. She has made up her plan and wants to fulfill it. Perhaps Mr Davies can add some useful information.

GD: Hello everyone from me as well. Yes, Mrs Smith Martinez, I am not really convinced, myself. You remember all the trouble we have been through and I really feel a very strong affection for your daughter. You also know that she has heard many stories from her friend Tina O'Connor about her relationship. She has made up her mind and will follow that. You know that I am by her side to guide her and to protect her – even from herself, if this will be necessary. And you know that the first and prime Rule of the ADP states that the junior partners are the ones to decide in which direction any relationship develops. She has made up her mind. I would have waited another while but you can be assured that no harm will be inflicted from my side.

SS: Thank you, Mr Davies. But this is not all that I intended to ask. I know that I have been 'difficult' at times but I hope that I have shown over the last year that I am with you all the time. It's just... She is just a little girl and on the other hand she isn't and... I don't know.

JS: Hey Sue! Do you remember how it was like at twelve? You know George, I know George even better. He is cool. He treats our daughter better than we do sometimes. He loves her. He is responsible. He wouldn't hurt her if it turns out that she is not ready. And he will be careful. Do you want your daughter doing it with some smelly boy? Do you remember what you told me about your first time 😉? We didn't want our daughter to have it that way when we decided to enrol her for the ADP. Remember?

SS: Jeremiah! I know all that. But she isn't even twelve and in our days you wouldn't have had ANY sex at that age. At least when you came from a decent background.

Sorry to interrupt but we are moving away from our topic. As I said before your daughter has made a "fixed plan". She is the one to decide. You can trust Mr Davies to be with her. He will treat her in the most loving way possible and if it does not work out he will be there for her nevertheless. The "first time" will happen. Now or later. I know that this is hard to accept but, as Mr Smith has pointed out, the setting of the ADP is much better than all possible settings in our youths.

Any more questions?

SS: I know that you are right. So seriously again. The last examination report pointed out that you, Mr Davies, are planning to take _Genda-Epp_ injections. When will you start? What further plans exist to prevent my daughter from getting pregnant?

GD: I think at first we should wait if Debbie's plan works out. Assuming that all is proceeding according to her plans she will be doing it with me in one month's time (and I deliberately made her the subject of that sentence). She will not have had her period by then, not to speak about her first ovulation. I have already had an examination with my urologist and he says that no side effects can be predicted from taking _Genda-Epp_. We will have plenty of time to adjust. You can be assured that I will have regular examinations to monitor the effects and to confirm my "sterility". In this case the frequent examinations that had to be administered in former times can be reduced for Debbie. She will appreciate that very much (even though she likes seeing Mrs Dubois).

Did that answer your questions?

SS: Thank you, Mr Davies. Yet it all sounds very technical to me.

GD: Well, Debby used to tell me at times that the ADP reduces any form of intimacy to reports and lots of paperwork. No feelings included. All this talk about sex makes me wish just to go out with her to Benny's and have one of her giant unwholesome shakes (sorry, Mrs Smith Martinez). Just some nice talk, some hugs, some big smiles. You know that this would make me as happy as all the rest. And you also know how much she hates being called that, but Debby is mentally really mature for her age. We can't stop her. I'll be super-careful. If you are not sure about anything you can be sure about that.

SS: Thank you, Mr Davies. Yes, I trust you. It's just...

We had better stop now and let matters take their course. Thanks to all of you.

If that will be all I thank you for your participation and your frank words. You will hear from me after our next examination. Good bye.
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Another invitation 😉

Hi George

There is somebody around here who loves you very much.

There is somebody around here who is no little girl anymore.

There is somebody around here who is soooooo mature.

There is somebody around here who turns twelve next Saturday.

There is somebody around here who wants to have the present of her life.

There is somebody around here who has booked a room at "our seaside".

There is somebody around here who wants to go there a kid and come home a teen.

There is somebody around here who wants only you.

Why not come along with her?

I love you!

♥ Debbie ♥
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: And again you are gone 😢

Hi George

didn't they say that you are with me, when things are going not so well? Where are you now? Again on one of your conferences. I hate them!

I am so sorry and so sad and so mad at myself. You were so nice to me and I love you so much. I hate my body! I went there a little girl and came home still a little girl. But I want it so much and I want it not to hurt so much !

I know that you want me to wait until I am ready but I don't want to wait! All your ADP people really don't know what they want. They tell me that I can decide what I want to do with you and that I have to decide. And then they do all these examinations and they decide when I'm ready do do things and when I have to wait. But I want it now and I feel that I'm ready!

I had a talk with Tina and you know that I don't believe every single word she says but she told me how we could "practice" the real way. She told me that they sell things in different sizes and girls who are too little down there can put in first the smaller one and then bigger ones. That sounds horrible but I don't want to wait any longer because I love you NOW!

And because they always say that I am the one who is in control, now I'll use my super-powers and order you to go to one of these adult shops and get things like that. And if you don't like it, it doesn't matter to me because you are bound to my wish because of my super-power spell!

I know that this a stupid joke and I don't want to laugh right now. But please do it because I don't want to wait and I am not interested in what the stupid rules say and I don't know if the rules forbid that because they forbid everything. And I want YOU to try it with me because I love you and I want to do it with you!

I love you!

Come back to me!

Your Debbie
From:

Emma Dubois, PhD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _onset of menarche (12+16d)_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

Physical development (Examination limited to reproductive system)

\- First menarche occurred, anovulatory.

\- Automated micro-ultrasound shows no class 1 follicles having developed in both ovaries.

\- Hormone levels show folliculogenesis having started. The development of hormone levels in comparison to previous examination results shows an onset of anthral period within the next 30-40d. Which means first ovulation to be expected in 120±30d.

\- More precise predictions can be made when class 1 follicles detected (within a margin ±15d) and the onset of anthral period confirmed (±5d).

Mental development

Deborah's "plan", expressed in her last examination has not worked out. Her "planned" first intercourse did not occur due to still experienced strong pain. She told that she had developed a "new plan" she did not want to talk about because she was afraid of the ADP Rules to prevent it. She repeatedly expressed that Mr Davies was involved and that she would not perform any actions on her own again. She also confirmed repeatedly that according to the Rules she was the one to decide how her relationship with Mr Davies develops and that he also was reluctant following her plans but had finally complied.

Not having fulfilled her "first plan" let her down very much. She seemed very depressed to me. With respect to her situation and her previous experience I did not want to push her to go into detail. I hereby also urge the parents not put her under pressure to reveal her plans. Obviously she still feels very embarrassed when talking about sex and only wants to reveal herself to Mr Davies.

We should trust Mr Davies's intuition and experience to handle this situation.

Remarks on contraception

Deborah told that Mr Davies had had a first visit at his urologist and the intake of _Genda-Epp_ will start shortly. The urologist confirmed this statement.

\- The next examination will be scheduled in c. 60d (predicted early anthral phase of folliculogenesis).

\- The following examination will be scheduled around her first ovulation.

\- With a predicted successful intake of Genda-Epp regular monthly examinations for sexually active ovulatory girls can be skipped.

\- The next regular Physical and Mental Examination with full evaluation of Deborah's physical development will be scheduled at age 12.5. 
From:

Glen Driver

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education

Department of Accompanied Development – Female Section

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Changes in ADP

Dear Mrs and Mr Smith, dear George

you may or may not have already heard from the media that the ADP will become an independent institution by August 1 and I will be the director. Which means for me that I will have to terminate all active contributions to single Programs. Yet I have made the deal that I will still continue running Programs until the end. No new contact will be chosen for you. Which means double work for me but my prime obligation is and always will be to make the ADP running "smoothly" for all participants. Please take also note of the "final letter" by Secretary Jenna White.

Best wishes,

Glen Driver

(director des.)

Secretary of youth, culture and education

To all participants of the Accompanied Development Program

Dear Madams and Sirs

the Accompanied Development Program, a save haven for developing children and young teenagers, has been a story of success from its first humble beginnings in 2028. Over the last eleven years virtually hundreds of thousands of children have been given the opportunity to experience their early teen development in a safe environment, to experiment with their developing feelings and urges without any social and mental risk. Hundreds of thousands of teenagers have had a safe start into their adult lives and have learned that love, compassion and sexuality cannot be separated from each other; they have learned to embrace their feelings and to utter them clearly, without suppression and double standards; they have not only learned that 'no' means 'no' but that 'yes' also means 'yes'; they were accompanied in the best of ways through difficult periods of their lives and now look back in joy to their younger years – many of them having found a loving partner their own age and started families of their own.

Yet, only about five percent of each cohort are reached by the ADP. There are many reasons. The most important factor is, of course, that not all children would benefit from an adult partner. But there are more reasons: not every parent believes in the benefits of the ADP – we will have to double our work in reaching more traditional parts of our society; more active and dedicated educators are needed – we will have to double our effort in recruiting and training new participants and, not least, to find more female educators as well as to convince non-CYTL people to join the Program; finally, the strict regulations of political practice and changing majorities have sometimes slowed the progress of the ADP – this is why the political body has decided for the ADP to become totally independent from political administration.

From August 1 the Accompanied Development Program will be an Independent National Institute with full constitutional rights. Our highly esteemed colleague and co-founder of the ADP, Mr Glen Driver, will lead the ADP into "independence" for the next five years and will find a suitable successor to replace him after his well-earned retirement.

I hereby want to thank all participants for their effort in improving the work with young teenagers. My final thoughts will stay with the young people of this country. You are our future. The love and respect, the "spirit of the ADP" you have learned and lived, will make our country a better place for all of us.

Yours faithfully,

Jenna White

Secretary of Youth, Culture and Education
_From:_

George Davies, PhD

To:

National Institute for Accompanied Development

Female Section

Glen Driver

Subject: Status change of relationship

Hi Glen

Relationship of Deborah Smith and George Davies changed to

sexually fully active

Development of relationship

Well, finally, as many others would say. On the other hand this will be the last "status change" for me to write until the last report about the end of our Program.

But alas.

Much has happened over the last six months. And it was Debbie who has been really active. It had been clear that she had wanted sex with me for a long time and in her opinion it was only her body that stood in the way. And Mr Rockenfeller's actions made this feeling even stronger for her. So we had some wonderful hours together and, luckily, we started to continue our regular "routine" again. She is getting really good at the violin and has been accepted to play the second violin at the St. Monica Youth Orchestra. I am really proud of her (and a little bit of myself because I contributed quite a bit).

So everything was fine. We had a wonderful time together and were growing even closer. You know about her "birthday plan" and that it had not worked out. Well, we had a beautiful late spring day at the beach and at the pool and in the evening she asked me in a really sweet way – the "little girl way" I adore so much (and she knows that) – that she was ready to do it with me and that she wanted to have her birthday present and that she wanted me to finally feel it together with her and – she really tried hard and I really tried not as hard as I wanted to in that moment (thanks to urge control) and – it didn't work without too much force.

And then she cried. And begged me to try it again and again but I didn't. How could I do it with a crying girl that I love? And first she told me that I didn't love her because I didn't want to try it again. And when she realized what she had said she cried even more and said how much she loved me and how much she hated herself. Finally she fell asleep in my arms. And when I lay there, next to an overwhelmingly beautiful twelve year-old girl who wanted nothing more in her life than experiencing her first time with me, it was finally time for me to cry.

What a night.

Guess what happened next morning? I had to leave early for another of those Science Breakthrough Conferences that always come up when least needed. On our way home we didn't talk much and I realized that she was thinking very much. I didn't disturb her. When I dropped her off she kissed me passionately, smiled her smirky smile and told me not to worry (have I ever worried?). One day later her mail arrived and I was bound by her spell to visit one of those sex shops (for the first time actually BUYING something. Yuck!). The horribly looking run-down ex porn-star working there (Yuck!) didn't even look strangely at my purchase ("Tiny", "Extra Small", "Small"; pink, purple, turquoise). In the hotel room I washed all of them really thoroughly because I didn't want to touch my Debbie with anything that has even come near such a dirty person (Yuck!). This was no fun. Images of what ugly decaying adults do to each other are still running through my head. And they say this is being sexy (YUCK!).

Sorry. I'm totally sober. Back to my topic.

So, home again, we met and Debbie was really eager to try it out. Well. Emma already told that this was something like a scientific experiment for her and this was exactly her approach – for her it was nothing more than an interlude necessary to reach her final goal. Well, I don't want to go into details, both sizes and colors made us laugh quite a bit ("The pinky days are over!"; "It's time to access XS!"; "Turquoise is no tortoise!"). Finally she decided to be ready. And it was her to decide. All the time.

We could have done it right away but Debbie, as always, wanted everything to fit. So she waited another week until we went to again to "our seaside" for full two weeks of summer holidays. And there, in our hotel, where so many important things had happened, we finally did it. This time without rushing anything. Just the two of us, the first cool evening breeze blowing through the half-open window, softly bringing the sound of the sea with it. I don't know if she still experienced any pain (and I also don't want to compare myself to Turquoise), but if she did, she was overwhelmed by her total happiness. She fell asleep almost instantly and both of us had a long fulfilling sleep.

Next morning she said laughing that now it was time to call Mr Rockenfeller because of more micro injuries. Well, they were healed miraculously by the evening and never came back again. But it was not like with those adults who keep on telling that they "hardly ever left their hotel room". We left the room. We went swimming and hiking, and played tennis. We did some sightseeing and went to some nice restaurants. We even gave a little concert in the hotel lobby. AND we had a couple of wonderful nights in our room.

Time is linear. These overwhelmingly beautiful two weeks ended much too soon. Debbie went on holidays with her parents and shortly after that she will leave for a practice week with the orchestra. For the first time. So she won't be there to celebrate 'two years'. I'll have to get used to _her_ being gone, not _me_.

Two years are over next week. If it hadn't been for Wendy I would have said that I have never lived so intensely. But Wendy was different. Even my "first time with a girl", with Martina, was totally different. Much less intense, perhaps because we hadn't shared so much time beforehand.

This was the "climax". Now only "falling action" can follow. And soon will be my second intake of _Genda-Epp_. I'll be on the safe side then. Debbie can ovulate as often as she wants to.

How prosaic.
From:

The Smith Family

To:

Glen Driver

National Institute for Accompanied Development

Female Section

Subject: Evaluation sheet – Second year Accompanied Development

Name of girl: _Deborah Smith_

Name of educator: _George Davies_

a) Parents

Rating (1-10): _10_

Comments

[Filled in by Mrs Smith Martinez:] This has been some kind of a year. Everything has changed. My little Debbie has become a really big girl. And I want to thank Mr Davies for all his commitment. He has proven to be a real friend and literally would do everything for Debbie. I cannot find many words today. Even though Debbie is only twelve I feel like a mother of a real teen girl. But my mother must have been worried for many reasons, that luckily won't apply to me. Yes, Debbie is sexually active and this is not easy for me to accept, but I know that I can trust Mr Davies. He is not one of these teen boys I was hanging around with and – for some good reasons – my mother did not allow to see alone. She is not forced into anything she does not want to do (as feared with 'older boyfriends' in my youth). And Mr Davies supports her in so many ways. Her grades are still outstanding, and I doubt whether it had been the same if she was 'into boys' back then. She loves her music and has improved her skills very much, thanks to Mr Davies. And I doubt that she had been accepted for the Youth Orchestra back then – not being a loner and a 'nerd', only into her music. All these sex questions and chats were quite annoying for a mother like me, but – back then we explored ourselves without our parents having any knowledge, without proper medical and mental support. I will not comment on the 'incident' with Mr Rockenfeller again, enough has already been said. But I want to congratulate you on your new status as an independent institute. I hope things will become easier for you.

Just keep it up. That is all I have to say.

[Filled in by Mr Smith:] I have to add only a few things. During his hospital stay I have become quite close to George and I want to thank you for choosing such an outstanding person for my daughter. He is so thoughtful and caring, he shows so much reflection and still is a nice guy. I understand why my daughter loves his company. I am proud to call him a friend myself. Debbie is getting older so quickly. I don't know how long she wants to spend time with George because, well, he sometimes is too caring and nice and I think that a real teenager won't appreciate that anymore. I'd hate this to happen but it will happen one day. I only hope that I will be able to stay in contact with him and that he will remain a 'friend of the family'. But everything is fine right now and that is all that counts for now.

b) Girl

Rating (1-10): Everything is fine, all the tens of all the tens 😊

Comments (filled in without parental supervision):

What a year! George and me are a real couple now and it feels so good! And so many things have happened. George was beaten up by these Nazi bullies and the Mr Rockenfeller story. I don't know why I wrote 10/10 because so many horrible things have happened this year. But all of this wasn't George's fault. He was always nice and cared for me and I love him. And I think that I hadn't been accepted for the Youth Orchestra without him. He is so proud of me (and I am pretty god, thanks to him). I will NOT write anything about us doing stuff here, if this is what you want to read. This is private. Yes, it is.

But then I remember all the things Tina told me about her doing stuff with Mike and now I think that I can tell things, too, and no one will believe me. Perhaps I can tell someone one day. Lisa, a daughter of some friends of mom and dad, she is only nine but she likes dad very much. I'd really love it if dad was her grown up pal. He has learned something from us already because when my mom and Lisa's mom go shopping he sometimes goes with her to Benny's and they enjoy it very much. But I think that my dad just likes her because she is nice and not because he wants to do something with her like George and me. And she is still a little girl and too young for the ADP. And my dad is no CYTL as you call them because he really loves mom. And if he really liked Lisa he would have to go through all these ADP seminars and stuff and I tease him that he wouldn't pass the exams and then he gets angry and tells me how intelligent he is and what complicated stuff he is doing at his work. And then I tell him that he is only doing rubbish (he is a sales manager for trash cans).

You see, even if I hate all the questions and examinations I really love the ADP and I don't know what I would do without George. So I'm into "active promotion" right now and, who knows, perhaps dad and Lisa will fit after all. I keep on telling Lisa's parents how good the ADP is and what a nice person my dad is and how much Lisa likes him. And I tell Lisa how nice it is to be together with a very nice man and what nice things George and me were doing together when I was ten. So, perhaps it'll work out.

Has this anything to do with what I am supposed to write about? I don't know. Only that I love George and wish every other girl a grown up pal like him.

I almost forgot. George told that I should write something down that I really don't like to talk about because he told me that I should write about "negative experience" as well. So we had a little fight this summer and I hate to write it down because I love George and don't want to tell anything bad. But we are a real couple now and real couples have fights sometimes. Mom and dad always have.

You know what we did at "our seaside" this summer for the first time and it was wonderful and I am still very happy. You know that I am not a little girl anymore and I wanted to go to the beach and wear by bikini and I know how much George likes it that I have some hair growing at places where I hate it grow and it hasn't been a problem until then because there was only little hair and normally I don't dress very sexy. But because the hair is getting more and more lately I wanted to shave under my arms because everyone does it and I hate this hair. And I know how much George loves that I develop everywhere and it really turns him on and I love it because George is a very reluctant person and I love to really turn him on. And when I told him that I want to shave he was quite sad and said that I have become a real woman now and he loved the little girl who didn't care much about where she developed and where not. And this made me really angry and I shouted at him that he should look for another little girl if he didn't like me anymore. And then I was very sad because I said stupid things and I don't know why I became so agitated. George said that this is the beginning of puberty and I would become more and more "emotionally imbalanced" or something like that. But then I told him that the good thing with me being a big girl is that he can do things with me that he can't do with little girls and that is what we did right then. And then he helped me shave and we went to the beach and everything was fine again. So I finally told more than I wanted to in the first place.

And I have to say that I wrote all of this four days before the 'two years' because then I'll be on my orchestra rehearsal week.
From:

St. Monica Hospital

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Status George Davies

I must inform you that Mr George Davies has been transferred to the St. Monica Hospital emergency unit for acute treatment of anaphylaxis.

During the injection of _Genda-Epp_ this morning administered by Mr John Kovalski, MD, urologist, Mr Davies showed signs of acute anaphylaxis (respiratory impairment caused by swelling of throat and spasms of bronchial muscles, increased heart rate, drastic fall of blood pressure).

Due to Mr Kovalski's quick reaction – removal of suspected allergen ( _Genda-Epp_ ), application of oxygen and adrenaline – Mr Davies's situations was stabilized and he could be transferred to St. Monica Hospital for further treatment.

It is highly likely that this reaction was caused by _Genda-Epp_ and it is highly advisable to stop the intake of _Genda-Epp_ immediately.

Faithfully

David J. Rockenfeller

(director)
National Institute of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Accompanied Development Program Smith/Davies

archived correspondence

Year Three
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies PhD

Subject: What happened ??? 😞

Hi George

the conductor of our orchestra just told me that you are in hospital (again!) and that you had an allergic shock or something and that you are getting well again. What happened? Got no time to write because practice starts again in a minute. Sorry I didn't write earlier. Practice is great, our piece is getting quite beautiful but it's hard work. The other kids are okay but sometimes a little nerdy. There is no time for private things. Gonna call this evening.

I love you ♥

XXX Debbie
The ADP counseling board

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

George Davies, PhD, has joined the session

Hi George, I heard what happened. Thanks for contacting me. Are you okay?

Hi Emma. Yes, I'm relatively well again. I'm going to leave hospital tomorrow morning. But _Genda-Epp_ seems to be out of the question for me. And you know that I don't want to use condoms anymore with any girl. Well, I'm over fifty now, my kids are nearly adult and there is no need for me to be "fertile" anymore. On the contrary, it is just a nuisance having to be careful any time I have sex. And now with Debbie becoming sexually mature I really only see one alternative.

Having yourself sterilized. Right. We talked about that subject a couple of years ago when Wendy was about to have her first period. It was your wife, right? She didn't want you to have permanent changes made on your body. And first of all she didn't want you to do it only for your girls, right? Have you talked to her? Has she changed her mind?

No, I haven't talked to her and frankly, I'm afraid of touching that subject again. With me and Debbie getting closer and the kids having more or less their own lives now, our relationship has cooled down. She is away quite often and we haven't talked very much lately. I'm afraid that she is going to leave me. Well, I can understand her. What kind of a husband am I actually? Just hanging around with little girls, preferring any kind of physical contact with a girl over sex with an adult. She once told me a long time ago that she would prefer me cheating on her with another woman than with little girls. Well, you know that we have come to terms with that but our lives have changed since the kids have nearly grown up now. I'm afraid that bringing up the subject of sterilization now could be the final nail in the coffin of our relationship.

Oh my dear George. Always thinking and thinking. Pondering hypothetical consequences. But what are you going to DO?

Well, I thought on having myself sterilized without telling her. It would only mean one more day in hospital and a couple of outpatient examinations. I talked to the doctors and they said that this would be no problem. No complications expected (but they said this with _Genda-Epp_ , too). And I know that my wife wouldn't examine my private parts for any scars. We haven't been sexual for a while.

Secrecy is never advised. You know that secrets of such gravity would not stay secret forever. You wife will learn. And she will freak out. You know that. You'll HAVE to talk to her. There is no alternative. And I will not talk about this subject again until you have talked to your wife. You know the responsibility of being on the ADP and being married. I don't have to tell you. Channel closed.

But how did Debbie react?

Oh my dear Emma. You are so harsh. But always right. We'll see. I'll keep you informed.

Well, Debbie. She called yesterday night and I explained everything. She was quite shocked at first but I think she is so much into her orchestra thing right now, that she couldn't concentrate on me. And I don't know if she understood the consequences. She told me that everything was going to be fine and that she loved me and that she was looking forward to seeing me again, but I didn't believe her completely. She was a little bit like Martina when she started her political thing. Right now she is a hundred percent into her orchestra. This makes me afraid. But after all she is only twelve and I hope we'll still have some nice time together. Yes, again pondering. I'll have to learn to think like a kid myself again and live the moment. And I hope that there are still many moments to come.

Gotta stop now. There is a crisis meeting to be prepared.

Bye George. Come to terms with yourself and tell me what happened.
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Emma Dubois, PhD

Subject: George has run dry 😉

Hi Emma

no kids from me anymore. I made it. It's done. It still hurts a little bit down there but everything is going to be fine. And the best thing: my wife approved. But from the beginning:

She called me just after I had finished my session with you yesterday. She said that she wanted to talk about something serious and that I had to stay calm. Well, she told me that she had a lover. On one of her conferences she got to know a man (her age), a well known professor, married. He was frustrated with her wife fooling around all the time, and I don't have to tell you that myself "fooling around" frustrates her, too. So they decided that they were a perfect match and neither of them wanted to leave their families. End of story.

I was shocked at first but finally thought "lucky for her". But the best thing is yet to come: then she told me that in my condition and with myself still wanting to "fool around" with my not-so-little-anymore girlfriend it was best for me to have myself sterilized. I didn't have to say anything because she knew me well enough to know that I had wanted this all the time and that I should "f***ing do it". She wouldn't object anymore. _Quid pro quo._

She had booked a table in one of our "fancy restaurants" (as you called them) for next week to talk about everything. She didn't want to see me there with intact spermatic ducts. And she told me that she still loved me, in a way.

Well, after my heart rate had calmed down again I instantly contacted the doctors and made an appointment. Went quickly. Payed in cash. All in all still cheaper than years and years of _Genda-Epp_.

Debbie will be back tomorrow. We'll have to talk, too.

Bye,

George
From:

Emma Dubois, PhD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _predicted anthral phase of folliculogenesis (12.2+17d)_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

Physical development (Examination limited to reproductive system)

\- Menarche occurred twice, irregularly, anovulatory.

\- Automated micro-ultrasound shows class 1 and class 2 follicles having developed in both ovaries.

\- Hormone levels in comparison to previous examination results show early anthral period having started. Which means first ovulation is expected in 45±6d.

Mental development

First sexual intercourse has occurred. Deborah still expresses a deep love and affection for Mr Davies. She seems to be very happy and stable right now. She pointed out with herself being "sexually active like an adult" she wants somebody to talk to in private and only the most important facts to be published.

From this point onwards for the records only. Not to be forwarded to all adult participants.

{She told about her holiday together with Mr Davies and how their relationship had progressed. She did not want to tell me about how her "second plan" had succeeded, but she told that George had to write a report to Mr Driver and that I could read it, if I wanted to. She heard about the "incident" with Mr Davies while being on a rehearsal and practice week with the "St. Monica Youth Orchestra" and that she was really torn at this moment. One part of her wanted to return home immediately to be with Mr Davies, whom she confirmed to love very much, another part wanted nothing more than playing the violin together with other teens her age. She called Mr Davies and he confirmed that she had to stay with the orchestra. She said she was very relieved about that but felt guilty as well.

After her return she spent a lot of time with Mr Davies and learned that he had been sterilized. She told me that she didn't understand at first what that meant and was quite shocked, but Mr Davies explained it in a very nice way. After the appropriate time they had sex again and after a break of nearly three weeks it hurt again for her. But she told me (with a wink of the eye) that "practice makes perfect".

Without much further examination it can be clearly perceived that her body has reached the next phase of development. She told me that she was recently developing more body odor and that she had to take more showers and use deodorant. She also told me that Mr Davies was the first one to discover it and he told her that now she started to smell like a big girl. It had really turned him on but – regrettably – it was too close to his vasectomy and they could not do it right away.

In accordance to her development I advised her to do more sports because an increase of body fat could be expected soon. She wasn't too happy about that because she preferred spending her free time with practicing the violin, but she would talk to Mr Davies and he would have good ideas about what they could do together.

I told her that the monthly sessions scheduled for sexually active ovulatory girls could be skipped in her case, but she told me that perhaps she would come nevertheless because she needed someone to talk. If I promised not to examine her over-much.

All in all she seems to be very happy and stable. We agreed, that at least this conclusion could be made public.}

Remarks on contraception

Vasectomy performed successfully. Mr Davies's infertility has been confirmed by his urologist Mr Kovalski, MD.

The next examination will be scheduled in ca 40-50d (predicted first ovulatory menarche).

The next regular Physical and Mental Examination with full evaluation of Deborah's physical development will be scheduled at age 12.5. 
From:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

To:

Glen Driver

National Institute for Accompanied Development

Female Section

Subject: Questions regarding the ADP

Dear Mr Driver

first of all I want to thank you for your long lasting support and your effort on the ADP. In my opinion it was a wise decision to make you the director of the ADP.

But why I am really writing is of a very personal and, in a way, confidential nature. One of the basic principles of the ADP is that adult/child-relationships do not have to be a secret. On the contrary – that secrecy has not to be mixed up with intimacy – that secrecy is not healthy in any relationship, especially not in such delicate relationships as between adults and kids.

You see that is it hard for me to get close to my intended subject. But you have read Debbie's two-years-evaluation. In her playful and easy-going way she writes about me being involved with a little girl and her supporting this. And if we lived, say, thirty years ago, this would never be a problem. But from the beginning.

Lisa, nine years old, is the daughter of some good friends of my wife and me and I have known her since her birth. We have always spent much time together and since being a toddler she has liked me in a special way. Over all those years we have spent hours and hours of playing together and she has always been looking forward to seeing me on any possible occasion. Still no problem and pretty normal for good friends and their families. But, well, Lisa is no toddler anymore and for the last two or three years we have been going downtown on weekends to spend time together and from time to time we go to _The Notorious Benny's Bubble Bar_. Where else. Lisa is nine now and Debbie has decided that she is no little girl anymore and keeps telling her more and more details about her beginning on the ADP, her first "dates" with George and how much she liked going to Benny's when she was ten and eleven. (My wife still does not approve of Benny's at all but her radical approach towards "unwholesome food and beverages" has calmed down lately). Well, Debby keeps on telling me that I should start on the ADP myself because to her it is obvious that Lisa and me belong together.

This approach raises some problems:

A) I am not a CYTL (a term still somewhat unwieldy for me). I love Lisa from the deepest parts of my heart and want to be there for her all her lifetime. But sexuality of any kind is out of the question for me.

B) My wife is strictly opposed to me having anything to do with the ADP apart from being an "ADP dad" and supporting my daughter.

C) Since Debbie's "offensive" she has been eying Lisa and me and is less and less happy about us going to Benny's and spending time together alone.

D) Lisa seems to be quite open for Debbie's influence (quite natural: she is nine, Debbie is twelve – she is something like an idol for her) and wants to spend more time with me and while walking she has recently started holding my hands again, like George and Debbie do, and hugs me more and more often. And she keeps telling me how much she likes me.

E) I enjoy Lisa's company very much and don't want to lose her. But I cannot and will not meet Lisa secretly, if everyone is against us.

So this is why I am writing. I cannot contact the ADP "officially" without risking my marriage. It will become more and more difficult to spend time with Lisa when she is ten or older without being on the ADP. On the other hand, what we are having right now is more than sufficient for both of us and I am not looking for any intimacy. On the contrary, I am looking forward to seeing Lisa grow up, finding a boyfriend and becoming more and more independent. But NOW she is still a little girl and likes me and wants us to be friends, as we have always been.

Before you ask: Her parents are quite happy with me and Lisa spending time together. Her mother and my wife like to go shopping without being bothered by annoying husbands and daughters and her father is working all day long and all the weekends and has no time at all.

Thank you for listening to my problems. Perhaps you could give me some advice how to proceed without hurting anyone.

Respectfully

Jeremiah Smith
From:

Glen Driver

National Institute for Accompanied Development

Female Section

To:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: Re:Questions regarding the ADP

Dear Mr Smith

thank you for your questions and your concerns. It is people like you, people who simply want to spend time and be friends with kids who make your society great and who are the basis of the ADP.

Just wanting to spend time with a kid you like is as healthy as wanting to help kids explore their developing sexuality. AND the former does not necessarily exclude the latter.

Your and your wife's concerns are based on a common misunderstanding regarding the ADP. I must and will continuously repeat that "Accompanied Development" does not exclusively mean "Accompanied Sexual Development". You know from your daughter's experience that being on the ADP means much more. What you and Lisa have been doing all these years is nothing more than "Accompanied Development". You have been there for her and did with her what she wanted to do with you. And you have well experienced that this has changed over the years and it will go on changing as Lisa grows older. What you have been doing is right, has always been right and will always be right. Many kids have always wanted to have an adult friend to spend time with, to learn from and to be accepted by without any peer pressure.

Yet, you are right that your situation is different from the common ADP setting. You are no professional educator who "appears" at some point of development. You have always been a friend and will always be a friend. In the strict sense you would not need any ADP support at all. But times have changed, having a "grown up pal" is nothing uncommon anymore and kids know what people are doing on the ADP, even though these school yard rumors are not necessarily true. You can be sure that your daughter is telling Lisa perhaps more than you want her to tell. It cannot be helped. So you can also be sure, that Lisa may (or may not) expect you to behave like a "grown up pal". She has already started by holding your hands, hugging you and so on.

So what will happen, if, one day, when Lisa is twelve, or thirteen, she asks you something like "Hey Uncle Jay, you know that I'm no little girl anymore and you have always been there for me and you have always been nice to me and I really love and trust you. So before anything else happens I want YOU to be the first." In days like these, this is not as uncommon as it might sound to you. Thirty years ago you might have reacted like (sorry for my style, I've been working with kids far too long) "No way, if people learn about this they'd kill me first and then therapy you to death!" These days are over, luckily. Today there are two possible reactions:

A) "I don't think that's a good idea, because I'm way older than you and nothing more than a friend, sorry." (Which would be pretty okay.) But also: "We couldn't do it nevertheless, because I'm not prepared and you know that things like that are only allowed on the ADP." (Bad thing.)

B) "I don't think that's a good idea, because... (see above) But at least we COULD, because I have a 'Single ADP' training."

Exactly this situation – just being friends with a kid outside the ADP is a setting that had been neglected far too long. Yet, in the recent years, we on the ADP directory board have come up with an idea to support people in this situation. We call it the "Single ADP" which is something like an "ADP light" to support people like you. You would have to get listed on the ADP and have to visit a few seminars on child development and preteen and early teen sexuality. Nothing more. You will not become an educator on the ADP but in case Lisa approaches you with any kind of obvious advances, we will support you in any possible way. Of course Lisa will also have to be listed, but there will be no examinations for her (because she has already shown that she is ready for a relationship with an adult – you) and no "Phase I" (because your Phase I has already lasted over nine years). Examinations will only be necessary in case of sexual intercourse and sexual maturity.

I think this would exactly be the right thing for you. Nothing will change between Lisa and you but you will have all possible options and all the support you may need with a minimal amount of time to spent.

Problem number two: partners. From my experience I know that this is the most severe problem for many people on the ADP. First of all: a relationship with a little girl is so much different from an adult marriage that in my opinion (and in the opinion of even conservative and/or religious member of the ADP) it does not mean being unfaithful to your partner. But tell this one your wife. I know.

Secrecy is never advised, you already know that, and the ADP is strictly opposed to any kind of secrecy. But you have a perfect setting on your side. Lisa is friends with your daughter. You are on good terms with Mr Davies. So what if I asked Mr Davies to ask Deborah to talk to Lisa and her parents about this situation? She is a clever girl and could provide Lisa with enough information. I could even provide her with some brochures about the "Single ADP". If her parents can be convinced everything will be easier. And, to finish, you are not planning on doing anything sexual, Lisa is only nine and your wife has already experienced her daughter's sexual development. She should know what could possibly happen.

I hope I could help you.

Best wishes

Glen Driver

(director)

P.S.: The "Single ADP" has not completely passed its experimental stage. If you are willing to take part I will have to ask you to be prepared to fill in some evaluation sheets.
From:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Fwd:Re:Questions regarding the ADP

Hi George

I need your help. Debbie has already told you about Lisa and me. You know that I don't want anything sexual from her and only want to stay friends. But she is growing older and she is getting ten in a couple of months. I think Debbie told her a little too much about you and her and Lisa is slightly getting closer and closer to me and treats me like being her "grown up pal". Luckily in a very childish way but I am becoming afraid. You know what Susan thinks about all that.

Well, I don't want to lose Lisa and I don't want to lose Susan. So I wrote to Mr Driver and he proposed a new program to me called "Single ADP" that would support people like me who just want to be friends with a girl they have known all her lifetime. I don't know what to think about it and what to do. I can't talk to Susan and I don't want to talk to Lisa's parents without having talked to Susan first. A vicious circle.

So Mr Driver had the idea that perhaps Debbie could bring up the subject. It would be great if you asked her to talk to Lisa's parents about the "Single ADP" and say that _you_ had the idea to bring up the subject. This would bring me out of the woods and perhaps would get the ball rolling. I'll forward the relevant parts of Mr Driver's mail for further information.

Thank you so much in advance. I'll always be in you dept.

Your friend

Jeremiah

Attachment:

_Exactly this situation – being just friends with a kid outside the ADP is a setting that had been neglected far too long. Yet, in the recent years we on the ADP directory board have come up with an idea to support people in this situation. We call it the "Single ADP" which is something like an "ADP light" to support people like you. You would have to get listed on the ADP a_ [More]
From:

Emma Dubois, PhD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _first ovulation (12.3+29d)_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

Physical development (Examination limited to reproductive system)

\- Menarche occurred for the fourth time, still at irregular intervals.

\- First ovulation occurred from left ovary. Automated micro-ultrasound shows full process of folliculogenesis in both ovaries. Ovulation is still expected to be irregular in the following menstrual cycles.

Mental development

Sexual intercourse with Mr Davies is performed on a regular basis. Deborah still expresses a deep love and affection for Mr Davies. She feels like having a "normal" relationship. Her approach towards sexuality has become more adult. She still expresses the wish to talk personally with me "from woman to woman". Due to her wishes the following protocol will not be made public.

From this point onwards for the records only. Not to be forwarded to all adult participants.

{As pointed out in the aforementioned "public remarks" Deborah, being sexually mature and having a sexual and loving relationship, expresses to feel very "adult" now. She loves the time she spends with Mr Davies and she especially loves the passion they both express for each other. She enjoys the way Mr Davies adores not only herself but also her body. By "turning him on" (her words) and giving pleasure to him she feels like being able to give him back what he gave her when she was "a little girl" and only concerned with her own feelings. She is very thankful that Mr Davies lead her through her beginning phase of sexuality and as much as he fulfilled her needs as a "little girl" she now enjoys to fulfill his needs "as a man". Yet, she repeatedly confirmed that this feeling is totally mutual and she enjoys "adult sex" very much.

My advice of performing sport on a regular basis was put into action on her own initiative. As she enjoys being attractive for Mr Davies she initiated regular running sessions together with him and, as she said, after being totally exhausted she feels very attractive and "in shape" and they both have "really hot sex" after running. Her music still covers much of her free time and there is less time for school work. Her grades have dropped insignificantly (form A+ to A; B+/B at the subjects she dislikes) but she still likes school and is quite ambitious.

What she defines as "adult sex" is still relatively new to her and she was talking most of the time about sex. Yet, she is concerned about her physical changes and, like most girls her age and older, she is afraid of "getting fat". I told her that with performing sports regularly and eating normally she was well on the way to staying healthy and developing a normal figure. While still in growth any kind of diet was neither necessary nor advised.

She also touched the subject of her father and his friend Lisa. She wished very much for her father to become Lisa's "grown up pal" and is very sad about her mother being opposed. She hadn't had any opportunity to speak with Lisa or her parents yet, but as Lisa is getting 10 in January Deborah feels that she could still wait for the appropriate moment.

All in all Deborah seems to have become relatively mature for her age and the relationship with George seems to be very healthy and mutual.}

Remarks on contraception

Vasectomy performed successfully. Mr Davies's infertility has repeatedly been confirmed by his urologist Mr Kovalski, MD. While being sexually active with Ms Smith, I will be supplied with monthly confirmations of Mr Davies's infertility.

The next regular Physical and Mental Examination with full evaluation of Deborah's physical development will be scheduled at age 12.5. 
From:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Lisa

Hi George

just wanted to tell you because I can't wait until you are back again from your conference. I had a long talk with Lisa's father yesterday. He told me that Debbie had had the idea that Lisa and me could go on the ADP. I followed our "plan" and told that I also hadn't thought about that and that I didn't know that this was possible because I would never become an "official" educator and Lisa and me were just friends. So he presented some brochures about the "Single ADP" that Lisa had got from Debbie and we read through them quite thoroughly. I repeatedly said that sex was out of the question for me and that I didn't think that all that would be really necessary but that it all sounded quite substantial and "down to earth".

Lisa's father also told me that Lisa was talking about the ADP all the time and how nice it would be to have a "real grown up pal" and that Debbie had told her about doing nice things together like holding hands and kissing and spending time together and that she wanted to do all that with me and not just some random educator. And that she wanted to be on the ADP because Debbie was on the ADP and the ADP was cool. He told her that it wouldn't change anything for her and me being friends and that it was a big step to go to the ADP and that he and her mother had to think about that.

He had a long talk with his wife after that. She also liked the idea, mainly because Lisa wanted to, but of course they had to ask me first and and she knew that Susan was strictly opposed and even disliked Lisa spending more and more time with me lately. So they agreed that he'd talk to me and she'd talk to Susan. Well, Susan is on your conference, too. Please let me know, if she has already got wind of it.

Then Lisa sent me a message:

"hi jerry debbie told u can become my gup when im 10. plz do it!!!

i love u 😍 😘 ♥ "

That was really, really sweet.

So much for now. I'm curious how this is going to develop. But I am really proud of Debbie. She handled this situation quite professionally. I asked her what she had been telling Lisa about the ADP. She just repeated what Lisa's father told me. Lisa had also asked about sex but Debbie told her that this was not for girls her age, that having a grown up pal was not for girls under ten and that having a grown up pal just means being nice to an adult you like very much. And that Lisa and me were doing nothing more than you had been doing when Debbie was ten. Five days left until Susan comes home. Let's see.

All the best,

Jeremiah
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Lisa and all the rest

Hi George

sorry I didn't write earlier. While you are gone I'm having some extra lessons with my violin teacher because there are some hard passages in my score and I gotta be fit for our next rehearsal week in December and our Christmas concert. Talking about "fit", of course I still run but it's not the same running alone. Especially what we do after 😉 ♥!

I don't know if dad already told you but I finally had a chance to talk to Lisa. You know how much she likes dad and that she wants dad to be her grown up pal and that dad is not sure about that and that mom like freaks out every time we talk about Lisa. So I told Lisa about you and me and I didn't talk about sex, of course, but how nice it was when I was a little girl and how nice it is now and how nice it is for any girl. Like Tina did back then, remember? Only that Tina always talked about what I thought to be "dirty stuff" but I wouldn't do that.

Have you heard the latest? Tina has a real boyfriend now and they have sex all the time and she sometimes even meets Mike and they have sex but I don't believe her because she is a windbag and gets on everybody's nerves with her sex stories. I saw Mike a couple of days ago together with another little girl so I don't believe that she is telling the truth.

Sorry. So when mom gets on your nerves with something about dad and Lisa just tell her that it was my idea and that I made you get the flyers from the ADP and that you just did what you had to do as an "ADP official". She can freak out as often as she likes with me. Then I'll freak back and play "puberty".

Sorry, gotta stop now.

I love you,

XXX Debbie
The ADP counseling board

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

Susan Smith Martinez, PhD, has joined the session

Hello Mrs Smith Martinez, what can I do for you? Is everything OK with Deborah?

Good morning Mrs Dubois. Yes, everything seems to be fine with Debbie. She is entering puberty now and seems to be very tense when I am around but I think this is normal behavior for girls her age. I am very proud of her because she is very ambitious with her music and has even begun to take more care for her body. I don't know how Mr Davies managed to motivate her doing more sports but she is very committed to get "in shape" and has even started to care about healthy food.

But what I wanted to talk with you about is of a totally different nature. I am not at home at the moment because I was invited contribute to the "International Science Breakthrough Fall Meeting". Yesterday night a friend of mine, Ludmilla Jeremenkow-Anderson, called me but I'll have to start from the beginning.

Well, my husband and I have known the Andersons since our studies at University and my husband has been having a special relationship with their daughter Lisa since her birth. She has always wanted to play with him and his name was one of her first words ("Jehjeh", it was really sweet). For the last couple of years they have spent some afternoons together from time to time. Well, Lisa will be ten in January and with Debbie being her friend, too, she has learned a little bit too much about the ADP. So two days ago she told her parents that she wanted my husband to become her "grown up pal" when she is ten. This question has simply not crossed my mind at all, because you must know that I am happy to say that my husband is not sexually attracted to minors and only wants to be friends with Lisa. With my daughter being on the ADP and me having witnessed all these unsettling changes that girls this age go through I simply don't see my husband fit to cope with a preadolescent girl wanting something sexual from him.

Well, without us parents knowing, Debbie talked to Mr Davies about Lisa's wish and he presented the "Single ADP" program to her, as a program to support adults and children in exactly the situation my husband and Lisa are in. I am sorry to say that I was very rude to Debbie on the phone because I simply would not accept my husband to be maneuvered into a sexual relationship with the daughter of friends of the family. On the one hand I do trust him that he likes Lisa very much and just wants to spend time with her; on the other hand I am afraid that even taking part in the "Single ADP" could lead to a sexualization of their relationship. Then again, I do not always want to be the shrew and the spoilsport of our family. I have not talked to my husband yet, but I know that Lisa's father may have presented the idea of the "Single ADP" to him already. I would be very thankful if you provided me with some ideas how to deal with this situation.

Dear Mrs Smith Martinez, you are right, your situation is not easy. But let me tell you first that I value your commitment for your family's wellbeing very much.

You told me that your husband has been friends with Lisa all her lifetime and that he is not expected to develop sexual feelings for her. This is an ideal setting for the "Single ADP". All in all it will change nothing for your husband and Lisa. On the contrary, you pointed out that you did not want your husband to be "maneuvered" into a sexual relationship. This exactly is one of the goals of the "Single ADP". Your husband would have to attend a couple of seminars on preteen and early teen sexuality and he would learn how to deal with situations in which a friendship could become sexual. He would be prepared how to deal with developing girls and their needs. He would learn how to find the right words when this subject arises and perhaps how to rebuke Lisa's wishes without hurting her. On the other hand he would get support if both decide that exploring sexuality together would not hurt their friendship.

You know that nowadays girls see more in an adult friend that just a "friend". The ADP has been far to successful to be ignored by kids. They talk about it at schoolyards and, you know, Debbie has already told Lisa perhaps more than you wished her to tell. It cannot be helped. Lisa will have to deal with it and your husband will have to deal with it. Attending the "Single ADP" means nothing more than support in situations you perhaps cannot cope with on your own. Especially when you are not a CYTL. It will definitely not mean that your husband will become a regular educator on the ADP and that he will be allowed to have relationships with other girls on the ADP: the "Single ADP" will only be for your husband and Lisa. Perhaps nothing will happen and they will never ask for any support.

All in all, as I have already said, nothing will change for Lisa and your husband. It is only about support and advice. They can contact a counselor, like me, when on the Program, they can attend Physical and Mental Examinations, but this is not compulsory. The "Single ADP" offers the largest amount of freedom possible and is only a proposition. Please talk to your husband about this subject. It is in the best interest for him and Lisa and, finally, for your family's wellbeing.

Dear Mrs Dubois, thank you for your open words and your presentation. I must say that I am still unconvinced. You are right that I do not know how my husband feels about that, but I know that he likes Lisa very much, as said before, and that he wants to support her in any possible way. You know that it has been difficult with me over the years my daughter has been on the ADP. You also know that I have a very high opinion on Mr Davies and that I trust him very much. But an "educator" on the ADP is someone from "outside". I had never thought on my husband becoming even something similar to an "ADP educator". Yes, I obviously have misinterpreted the signs. What my husband and Lisa are doing together is in no way different from what Debbie and Mr Davies had been doing in their "Phase I". Lisa has always stayed a baby in my eyes. I should have known that she will grow up in no time, like Debbie did all too quickly. I even envied the Andersons for still having a little girl.

I promise to talk to my husband as soon as possible. Thank you for your effort. Good bye.

Thank you, Mrs Smith Martinez, for being so open-minded. I know how hard it is for you. If there are more questions, I will always be there for you. And when your husband has decided to be registered for the "Single ADP" with Lisa, you will be administered your own counselor who is there for your family and Lisa's family. I wish you the very best. Good bye.
From:

Emma Dubois, PhD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _in-program (12.5)_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

Physical development

\- Breast: _Tanner St. III (increasing breast size and elevation, papilla increasing in size, areola still in contour with surrounding breast)_

\- Pubic hair: _Tanner St. III-IV (mons pubis and labia majora mostly covered with pigmented hair. Adult-like hair-quality will be reached soon)_

\- Underarm hair: _[Wolfsdorf St. III] (shaved. Spread can be guessed as still less than adult.]_

\- Menstrual cycle fully developed, point of time and ovulation still irregular. A detailed examination of the reproductive system was skipped because of Mr Davies's infertility.

Mental development

Deborah is still in a healthy sexual relationship with Mr Davies. Her self-concept is becoming less stable but this is within the normal margins of girls during puberty.

Due to her wishes the following protocol will not be made public.

From this point onwards for the records only. Not to be forwarded to all adult participants.

{Deborah pointed out to love Mr Davies very much and to have sex with him on a regular basis. In general she stated that nothing has changed from our last talk.

Yet, in the further course of our talk she expressed some worries. On the one hand she still enjoys being adored by Mr Davies, on the other hand she fears that soon she will not be attractive to him anymore, because she is developing quickly and she knows that Mr Davies is very much attracted to younger girls in the beginning phases of physical development. She hates her quickly growing pubic hair very much and even though it has not spread outside the bikini area she is planning to shave. She is afraid to talk to Mr Davies about it, because shaving her underarm hair had caused an argument a couple of months ago. I told her that she was the one to feel comfortable in her body and that she should do what seems appropriate to her and that Mr Davies would accept her decision.

With her next rehearsal week for the Christmas Concert coming soon she recently canceled one afternoon and evening with Mr Davies. She feels very bad about that because he could think that her music was more important to her than spending time with him and that he may think that she did not love him anymore. Even though this not being the case with more and more obligations she has less time to spend. I confirmed that Mr Davies knew that she was no little girl anymore who had all the time in the world and that (especially very talented) teen girls have more obligations.

Running is still important to her (and the high temperatures for this season of the year encourage her, too) but I am afraid that she could overdo. She repeatedly pointed out that she felt her body changing and that she was afraid of becoming a woman with "problematic areas and menstrual cramps" (her words). One year ago she just wanted to grow up to be able to have sex with Mr Davies; now having reached that she feels that she can only grow old. I confirmed that she was not even thirteen years old and that she most likely would grow into a beautiful and well-shaped young woman. Over-excessive sport and unhealthy eating habits, like diets, would only put this progress in danger. She should listen to her body and enjoy her time with Mr Davies and with her music.

All in all she seems to have become a "normal" teenager who is worried about her self-concept. The relationship with Mr Davies has grown into a "normal" relationship with all the little problems, a relationship can bring. They seem to be equal partners in many aspects like totally mutual sex and equal obligations that limit their time together. I do not want to be pessimistic, but Debbie seems to have grown (or is about to grow) out of the range of an "ADP kid" and may soon discover that she needs more than an adult partner in the setting of the ADP can offer. As Deborah still shows a great (and very passionate) love for Mr Davies, I will not contact him yet to prepare him for a possible ending of the relationship. There will have to be more signs. Regarding this I am very happy that Deborah plans to attend monthly examinations, even though they are not obligatory.}

Remarks on contraception

Vasectomy performed successfully. Mr Davies's infertility has repeatedly been confirmed by his urologist Mr Kovalski, MD. While being sexually active with Ms Smith, I will be supplied with monthly confirmations of Mr Davies's infertility.

With Mr Davies having been sterilized, monthly examinations for sexually active ovulatory girls are not obligatory.

Yet, Deborah wishes to attend these examinations because she wishes for personal counseling. She is free to see me again around 12.6. Deborah told that because of the holiday season she will perhaps skip 12.6 and return at 12.7.

**The next regular Physical and Mental Examination with full evaluation of Deborah's physical development will be scheduled at age 13.**
From:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Home alone?

Hi Kevin,

remember this old movie? It must have been made around when we were born but when I was a kid my parents watched it with me and I loved it. I wanted to watch it every week, you know how little kids are, and my parents must have cursed their idea of having shown it to me in the first place.

Well, now you are the one who is home alone. Susan and your wife are on another conference (they both seem to be quite into their careers lately, aren't they?), Debbie is on her pre-Christmas rehearsal week, Lisa has her pre-Christmas days of contemplation and I am – guess what??? – on an ADP seminar. Yes, you've got it right! While you are sitting at home, crying yourself to sleep each night, I am learning something about preteen development and developmental psychology.

I hadn't had any time to tell you in the first place but Susan and I talked and she said that she didn't want to be the shrew of the family and with everybody wanting me to have my "Single ADP" I should at least be given the chance to have a "sneak preview". So I contacted the ADP. They were quite happy because, I think, they want to promote their newly invented "Single ADP" and said that when I was quick, I could get a free place in one of their basic seminars. I didn't have to get enrolled, I didn't even have to pay. It's a good thing when you are one of the first, they'll treat you like a king.

So here I am. Well, I am still a bit traumatized from University and really feel quite bad being treated like a freshman but it's really interesting and I have learned quite a bit already. The other guys and (few) women on the seminar are really cool because we are bound together by our love for children. Well, most of them are CYTL and the few of us who aren't are treated with much respect, because everybody thinks that it's great that even people like us want to contribute.

Guess who is also staring on the ADP? You won't get it. Emma Dubois! She was quite embarrassed at first when she saw me but after a while she said that I could tell you because it was no secret. She said that she wasn't sure if she was CYTL but having worked with the kids and educators on the ADP for such a long time she wanted more than just examinations and counseling sessions. There was something else, I guess, that she didn't tell me but we hadn't had that much time to talk. But she asked me, even if I told you, you shouldn't tell Debbie because she wanted to tell her herself.

Another thing: Lisa made her wish list for Christmas and her birthday (I am really sorry for her – having her birthday only three weeks after Christmas) and on top was: "Jerry goes to the ADP and becomes my grown up pal." Number two: "We go skiing together with George and Debbie." And number three: "If this comes true I don't want any other presents, only perhaps my own phone." Do you think Santa would object? (or Our Lord Jesus Christ – her Christian school is sometimes getting on my nerves, but her mother was raised a devout Russian Orthodox and wanted at least some Christian values for her daughter.) I know that Susan still doesn't like me and Lisa spending too much time together but I also know how much Susan and Danny hate the cold.

Think about it. I'll talk to Susan and the Andersons. And I haven't told Lisa anything about it. I think she should hear from Santa. I've got to stop. Now the most interesting part (at least for me) starts: _"Being ten – Between crush and candy."_ I'm curious what they are going to tell us.

You are a professor yourself, why don't you give a seminar on the ADP? But on the other hand, what could you contribute? _"She loves me, she loves me not – Stochastics for girl lovers."_ Just kidding.

See you next week, I hope there will be a time slot before Christmas terror starts.

See you soon,

Jeremiah
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

CC:

Ludmilla Jeremenkow-Anderson

Subject: Invitation

Hi guys

I want to invite you to the St. Monica Youth Orchestra Christmas Concert. Please come along, all of you: George, mom and dad and Danny AND Lisa + family. I'd really love to see you all! Hey Emma, I'd also love to see you around! And, Mr Driver, if you want to come, too, I'd be very happy.

The concert is going to be great! We have worked so much and we are pretty good! We've even been transferred to St. Monica Hall and you know that normally only the real professionals are allowed to play there! And bring along a box of Kleenex. There'll be some very emotional Christmas carols. You all gonna be crying your eyes out! I'm getting emotional only thinking about it.

Thnx George for your help. Without you I'd never be so good ♥!

I love you all,

Debbie

P.S. Remember:

Dec 26, 7 p.m., St. Monica Hall. Get your tickets soon, they'll be sold out in no time!
From:

Santa Claus

To:

Lisa Anderson

Subject: Merry Christmas, little Lisa!

My dear little Lisa

you have some pretty complicated wishes but you know, good old Santa can't resist a good little girl like you. So I got you this new phone with your own address and your first message is from me.

This was much easier than making your other wishes come true. But you know, Santa can do everything. So one foggy afternoon I sent Rudolph to Mr Smith and Mrs Smith Martinez, who I remember having been very nice kids, and he guided them to the next ADP office and Mr Smith signed the contract and you will start the "Single ADP" when you are ten.

And after that they nearly got lost in the fog and I sent out Rudolph again and he guided Mrs Smith Martinez to the next travel agency (I didn't know that travel agencies still existed) and there she booked a weekend at the "Tropical Island" indoor resort for herself and Debbie's little brother (and this will be his Christmas present). So Jeremiah and you can go skiing with George and Debbie.

I hope this will make you happy and you will have a very special Christmas this year.

See you next year,

Ho ho ho,

Santa Claus

P.S.

@Ludmilla: I know that you don't believe in me but you also know that I am nobody else than Saint Nicholas who is worshiped by your fellow Russian people. Even though I have to dress in a silly way in this country to be recognized by children, I am doing nothing more than I have always done: Making children happy in the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ. May you all be blessed by His birth!
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

Glen Driver

National Institute for Accompanied Development

Female Section

Subject: My message to Lisa

Dear Mr Driver

please don't be mad at me, it was all in the name of Christmas. I got to know this boy from my orchestra and he is a real computer nerd and I told him that I wanted Lisa to get her first message on her new phone from Santa and he hacked my address and changed it from "Deborah Smith" to "Santa Claus". It was only to make Lisa happy and she still wonders where this message came from (and I won't tell her).

I know that this was a really bad thing to do but all the changes were made undone and everything is like before. I apologize and hope that making a little girl happy "in the spirit of the ADP" (as your brochures would put it) will not lead to any trouble. But if you want me to have trouble I'll take it because I only acted in the name of Santa.

Lisa is going to be ten soon and doesn't believe in Santa anymore, but she still has no clue where this message came from and she is wondering. I told her dad beforehand but his lips are sealed. I love Christmas!

See you around on my concert tomorrow, I'd be very happy.

Merry Christmas,

your Christmas angel

Debbie

P.S.

Just for the records, before you or anybody ask. I didn't do anything else with this computer guy. I think he likes me and he did it because he likes me but I am true to George!
From:

Emma Dubois, PhD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _Monthly examination for sexually active ovulatory girls (12.7)_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

General remark

Due to the voluntary nature of this examination it had not to be timed at the exact point of predicted ovulation.

Physical development (Limited to a basic examination of the reproductive system)

Menarche occurred, anovulatory. Menstrual cycle still irregular.

Mental development

Sexual intercourse with Mr Davies is performed on a regular basis. Deborah still expresses a deep love and affection for Mr Davies. Yet, her self-concept is becoming more independent each time we talk. Having supported the initiation of the "Single ADP" between her father and Lisa Anderson was good for her ego but also raised questions concerning the development of her relationship with Mr Davies. She is looking very much forward to the skiing trip with Mr Davies, her father and Lisa by the end of this month.

Due to her wishes the detailed protocol of our talk will not be made public.

From this point onwards for the records only. Not to be forwarded to all adult participants.

{Deborah mostly wanted to talk about what she calls her "achievement" with her father and Lisa Anderson. She was very committed to "bring them together" on the ADP and is very proud that finally her mother was convinced to comply. She told that she was invited by the Andersons to tell them about her experience on the ADP and she told them how nice it was with Mr Davies at the beginning and how much she wished for Lisa to have the same positive experience. She trusted her dad very much and told that the beginning of the ADP was not sexual at all and only about love and trust. So there would be no difference for them being on the ADP than it had been all the years before.

She envies Lisa a little bit for having known her future "grown up pal" all her lifetime and wished that herself and Mr Davies had had the same experience. At this point, when telling how nice it was for her as a little girl with a loving adult at her side, tears sprang to her eyes and she told how different it was now. That she had wished so much for growing older that she hadn't enjoyed all the opportunities the two of them had had together when she was still a kid. And that she still loved Mr Davies very much but was afraid that he would stop loving her soon, because she didn't look like a little girl anymore and she knew how much he adored little girls. On my question if she was perceiving any signs that Mr Davies didn't adore her that much anymore she replied that their relationship was still very loving and passionate, that Mr Davies still adored her very much and did everything to support her. But she also said that she felt her time with Mr Davies having become ruled by routine. They were playing music, they were doing school work, they were running (when the weather was acceptable), they had sex. Everything in itself was fine and very good for her but it was always the same. She told that she sometimes felt like being married.

In this context she is looking very much forward to their skiing trip. She told me that she once or twice questioned if taking Lisa and her father with them was a good idea, because she had always enjoyed spending "quality time" alone with Mr Davies, but in her opinion it is a "fresh breeze" to their relationship. Having Lisa and her dad around could make them do some "little girl things" together that Mr Davies and her had stopped doing.

Another aspect that troubled her was that she noticed other boys showing interest in her. Before, she had never even noticed boys her age but now she knew that other boys were flirting with her. She told that she had a guilty conscience for herself "having exploited" the crush, one boy in her orchestra obviously had on her by making him do what he did with the "Santa mail". She said that now she thought that it hadn't been a good idea after all, but it had been done and it had made Lisa very happy. Yet her self-perception of being the "little girlfriend" of her "grown up pal" has suffered and she expressed that it had felt like having cheated on Mr Davies.

Finally she congratulated me on having started the ADP training myself and asked me how it came to be. We talked for a long time about my personal motives and that they were strongly influenced by my experience with her Program, but a detailed summary of this talk does not belong here.

To conclude I must say that Deborah seems to slowly "slide out" of the phase of her life where the ADP can offer the support a preteen girl needs. She has become much more independent and her self-concept is becoming more "teenage". I will wait for the results of their skiing trip until I initiate a first "crisis intervention" with Mr Davies. I encouraged Deborah to see me next month.

Remarks on contraception

Vasectomy performed successfully. Mr Davies's infertility has been repeatedly confirmed by his urologist Mr Kovalski, MD. While being sexually active with Ms Smith, I will be supplied with monthly confirmations of Mr Davies's infertility.

Deborah wishes to continue attending monthly examinations for sexually active ovulatory girl. She is free to see me again around 12.8.

The next regular Physical and Mental Examination with full evaluation of Deborah's physical development will be scheduled at age 13.
From:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

To:

Glen Driver

National Institute for Accompanied Development

Female Section

Subject: Questions on some of the Rules

Dear Mr Driver

I know that now being on the ADP myself I have a supervisor of my own. But Mr Davies told me to get back to you, because you have been on the ADP from the beginning and you are much more experienced than Mr Kim is. My first contact with him was very positive, but he is new at his profession and I think that he has started with supporting my ADP because you can't do very much wrong in a "Single ADP setting". No offense.

Well, we had had our skiing trip together and I will not tell much about it here, because any kind of report has to be posted to "my" ADP and to Mr Kim, of course (and nothing of reportable importance has happened, apart from having a beautiful trip together with people I like very much). But on the first evening the four of us were sitting together and after a long day in the snow I was getting myself a bottle of beer. I thought this to be quite normal. Then Deborah shouted "Hey dad, no booze for you, you are on the ADP now. Remember the Rules!" I was a little perplexed at first because I had hoped to share one or another drink with Mr Davies, like we do at home sometimes but he reminded me that Debbie was right. And with me being there with Lisa I was acting on the ADP and was bound to the Rules. I may be a bad person but not having a drink in the evening of a holiday trip was something totally new to me, but, well, I complied.

I was a little agitated at first and asked who had made this rule and that I hadn't wanted to get drunk at all. Mr Davies just smiled and said that this was one of the basic Rules of the ADP and I should talk about it to an old hand like you are. So that's what I'm doing now. I understand that being drunk when you are supposed to care for kids is not a good idea, but has it got to be so strict?

No offense again.

Thank you for your insight.

Best wishes,

Jeremiah Smith
From:

Glen Driver

National Institute for Accompanied Development

Female Section

To:

Jeremiah Smith, MBA

Subject: Re:Questions on some of the Rules

Dear Mr Smith

first of all I want to congratulate you on having started the "Single ADP". I hope that your experience with Ms Anderson has been positive so far. Regarding your supervisor I want to add that Mr Kim is not at all inexperienced. He may have started being a supervisor just recently but has already collected much experience as an educator. He knows what he is talking about, believe me.

Your question on alcohol. The ADP is strictly against any kind of extremism. Totally forbidding anything that belongs to the personal lifestyle has never been intended nor supported by the ADP. Yet, there are a number of rules that may limit members very much. You are forbidden to smoke in front of any minor ADP member, but you may understand that this is only for health reasons. You are obliged to keep your body in a certain "shape" and have to prove it regularly. This may also be seen constraining to some people, but even though your physical "shape" is not as important for preteens than it may be for teens and adults, you have to be a role model for your young partner and "treating your body positively" is most important for children in their early years of teen development.

Back to alcohol. We strictly believe that enjoying a drink is not a bad thing to do for adults. Yet, even more, we believe that learning to drink responsibly is most important for teenagers. But on the ADP you are dealing neither with adults, nor with older teenagers who are legal to drink alcohol. The relationship between an educator and his/her younger partner has to be as mutual as can be achieved. The common perception that adults drink and kids don't does not fit into this concept. You know that many kids have learned that adults drink and then act strangely – in general: that adults are strange people who do strange things that distinguish them from kids. This is the least we want kids to think about us. If we want to be loved, want to be trusted, want at times even to be adored, we cannot act like some random adult. We have the obligation to be "better adults".

Apart from these theoretical thoughts there have been some precedents in the early period of the ADP. There were kids who watched their educators drink in front of them and begged so much that they were given a sip themselves. Not a good idea. And illegal. In some cases a kid hurt himself or herself and the educator was not legally able to drive him or her to a doctor. Yet, the most cases were about urge control. It may not be your problem but many educators are very strongly attracted to their younger partners. Urge control is one of the most important aspects of ADP training and has to be refreshed regularly. Guess what may happen, when a slightly drunk CYTL person, who is very much in love, lies next to his little lover and she (I'll stay with the 'she' because we are on the girls' Program) just wants to cuddle or only wants him to give her the little pleasure that she is ready for? Some really bad things happened in the beginning. People learned about it and the whole idea of the ADP was put in jeopardy because a few stupid guys could not control themselves after a drink.

So we decided in a strict way: No alcohol on the ADP. Period.

Well, you are home again. Go out for a couple of drinks with Mr Davies. You'll enjoy it very much, I bet. But then again you may perhaps see that drinking is just an adult thing that boring adults do together when the kids they love are not around. Your drink may become quite stale when you think about that.

And isn't a sweet bottle of lemonade shared with your little Lisa much better that the fanciest drink imaginable?

Keep it up! And trust Mr Kim, he is one of the good guys!

(Sorry to be so colloquial, but I've got to know you as a person who appreciates that.)

Best wishes

Glen Driver
From:

Emma Dubois, PhD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _Monthly examination for sexually active ovulatory girls (12.8)_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

General remark

Due to the voluntary nature of this examination it had not to be timed at the exact point of predicted ovulation.

Physical development

Examination limited to reproductive system.

Ovulation occurred from left ovary. Menstrual cycle still irregular.

Mental development

Sexual intercourse with Mr Davies is performed on a regular basis. Deborah still expresses a deep love and affection for Mr Davies. Her skiing trip has brought Mr Davies and Deborah closer together again. Watching Lisa and her father made her "re-live" her early times on the ADP and she has learned to value her time with Mr Davies again on a deeper level. Due to her wishes the detailed protocol of our talk will not be made public.

From this point onwards for the records only. Not to be forwarded to all adult participants.

{Two weeks have passed since Deborah returned from her skiing trip together with Mr Davies, her father and Lisa Anderson. Deborah spent much time telling her experience there.

While having been skeptical at first (see last protocol) she said that the trip was a great success. She spent much time together with Mr Davies, because her father and Lisa had to attend the beginners' training course. Being away from all her obligations and just being outside all day has freed her mind very much. When all the four of them were back at their lodge (that had actually been nothing more than a cabin, Deborah wanted to point out) they still had lots of fun in the snow. They built snowmen, had snowball fights and rent some toboggans, because no one had do any training courses for that. She felt like a little girl again and said that she had been overwhelmingly happy.

The first night they spent together she did not even want to have sex with Mr Davies and just wanted him to cuddle her like they did when she was Lisa's age. Well, she said afterwards that the next morning cuddling was over and they both were happy again, that she was not so little anymore ("wink, wink").

The next day was as happy as the day before and Deborah again wanted to be treated like a little girl but she knew that this would not work anymore. She said that she had been afraid at first because of her experience at their summer trip, but she told Mr Davies that she wanted to shave off her pubic hair and that she had been thinking of that for quite a while. Much to her surprise Mr Davies did not object and when Lisa and her father were asleep they sneaked into the bathroom.

Even though they had a third night together she wanted to stop talking about about anything sexual and told about Lisa and her father. She was very happy to see both of them together and to see them being happy. Lisa and her father had separate bedrooms (she told me to write it down, just in case something like her experience with Mr Rockenfeller could happen to them, too. Then this protocol could serve as evidence to prove her father's innocence). Her father treated Lisa like he had treated her when she was a little girl and apart from a good night kiss she had perceived no intimacy. They just seemed like father and daughter, and so she started to see Lisa as her little sister. She had never had such a good relationship to her own brother, because he has always been much too young ("and very complicated – he is like mom!").

In a strange way, it was somehow embarrassing to her, that her "acting out" as a little girl brought herself and Mr Davies closer together again. Mr Davies and her had made a "deal" that when home they would not follow their routine but just do together what they wanted to. Deborah confirmed that over the last weeks this had worked out well. Yes, she still practiced the violin, but not so often together with Mr Davies. When they felt like music they just "jammed", as Lisa put it and thought of melodies that they could interpret together ("And I never thought that this was even possible, I have always strictly followed my score"). They even went to Benny's again to have a "GIANT shake 😲" (she told me to use exactly this emoticon). When they felt like cuddling they just cuddled, when they felt like more they did more.

Due to the positive development of their relationship I will postpone any critical remarks to Mr Davies. Yet 'acting out' their past leaves no possibility of developing their relationship. Because Deborah is very happy at the moment I did not touch the subject for possible problems that could arise when this phase is over. Her euphoric mood, in comparison to quite depressed phases in our last talks, can be evaluated as mood fluctuations that have to be monitored. But as she has clearly entered puberty this is not uncommon, especially for girls. I encouraged Deborah to see me next month.}

Remarks on contraception

Vasectomy performed successfully. Mr Davies's infertility has been repeatedly confirmed by his urologist Mr Kovalski, MD. While being sexually active with Ms Smith, I will be supplied with monthly confirmations of Mr Davies's infertility.

Deborah wishes to continue attending monthly examinations for sexually active ovulatory girl. She is free to see me again around 12.9.

The next regular Physical and Mental Examination with full evaluation of Deborah's physical development will be scheduled at age 13. 
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Gone again

Hi George

guess what, now I am the one _Home Alone_. Dad told about this stupid old movie and wanted me to watch it, too, but after half an hour I stopped because old comedies aren't funny. Dad was really enthusiastic about the old cars but the plot was so stupid that I couldn't stand watching. And he told about how often he watched it as a kid and that it was already old when he was a little kid. Boring.

And now dad's gone and mom's gone and I've got to take care of Danny and sometimes Grandma comes along and you are gone, too. Yea right, I leave you alone quite often, too, because of my orchestra but now I know how you feel. It's just that I miss you and now our skiing trip is nearly a month ago and it was so wonderful spending so much time just doing things for fun. And it was so wonderful doing things just with you. It was so much like two years ago when I was only a little girl and I felt so much like back then that I could cry of joy. That's what I told Emma on our session just in case you want to know and I don't want you to think that we are talking some bad things just because you can't read it. It's just because, you know, we do adult things and behave so much like adults lately that I need somebody to talk to. Emma likes me very much and understands me and we can talk like women. She told me that it also was because of me that she started the ADP training. She told that she enjoyed our sessions so much that she started to feel that a real relationship with a girl like me would be a very nice thing to have. She told me that she had never thought about being CYTL or stuff until she met me and I showed her how nice it is to be together with a girl. I think she has a little crush on me but you don't have to be jealous because I love you.

Yes it was bad of me to cancel our afternoon last week but I had so much to do and we had a Math test and an English test and I had to practice the violin because of our new piece and it was too much for me. I know that it had been much nicer if we practiced together but I just wanted to be alone. And now that I'm all alone I'm sad that we didn't meet before your conference. Some guys in my class have a T-shirt that says that at our age adults start to behave strangely but I know that it's me. I don't know, it's just like one day I don't want to speak to anybody at all and now I only want to cry because I'm all alone and I miss you so much. They say that's normal during puberty but I hate myself sometimes and wish to be eleven again all my life together with you. And I know that you wish so yourself deep inside because I see you looking at other little girls and at Lisa. Or I only imagine things because of "mental instability caused by puberty". I don't know anything at all. Please just come back.

I didn't send this mail yesterday. I just read through it and wanted to delete everything but then I thought that you should know how I was thinking yesterday because today I'm really looking forward to seeing you again in two days. And I had a date with Lisa and we went to Benny's and there something strange and somehow worrying happened to me. I don't know if it's also puberty. You know that dad had a talk with Mr Driver about alcohol on the ADP and he showed me his mail because I was interested. You know that I wouldn't drink but when I was at Benny's with Lisa I felt like being drunk. Maybe it was because of the giant shakes (😲 lol) and the loads of sugar that I'm not used to anymore but Lisa asked me quite a lot about us. And she told me that on our skiing trip she woke up one night and had to go to the bathroom and she heard noises from our bedroom and listened. So she wanted to know exactly what we were doing that night and you know that I told you that I didn't want to talk about sex to Lisa but I felt like having lost control of myself and I forgot what I promised and I told her quite a lot about what big girls and their grown up pals do and Lisa was listening like I was listening to Tina at the beginning and she was like shocked and curious at the same time. And I couldn't stop talking even if something inside me shouted at me to stop at once and this is what I believe it must be like being drunk. I looked it up, I felt "euphoric". I know that you know what I mean. And I'm really sorry because it feels like it was me who took away Lisa's innocence. And then she looked at me and said in her shy and sweet little voice "I don't think that I want to do this with Jerry because I think it must hurt very much."

Then all the "euphoria" was gone and I realized what I just said and I remembered how shocked I was when Tina told her sex stories. And she told much, much more than I did and Tina and Mike did much, much more, than we have ever done and I don't want to do the things Tina told me about. Yuck! But then I remembered that it did really hurt for me in the beginning and I nearly forgot about that. And I told her that she should only do what she wants to do and nothing else. And that my dad is perfectly happy just being close to her and nothing more. And that I was two years older than her when I did it for the first time and that you don't need to do it at all with your grown up pal if you don't want to.

But the damage was done. I remember that I also was perfectly happy when you were just close to me, with us holding hands, hugging and kissing and that after Tina kept on telling me things it changed and I wanted more and you know what happened then with the Rockin' Doctor Fella. No, I can't blame it on Tina, it was totally me who wanted to have sex with you so badly that I did stupid things. But it was Tina who told me for the first time that sex wasn't only for adults when they want to have a baby but that it was a thing you can do with your grown up pal or with your boyfriend just because you love each other. It changed a lot for me knowing that.

And please don't tell dad (and NEVER tell mom!!). He'll learn it early enough and I think Lisa should tell him when she is ready to talk about things like that. I know that dad doesn't want to think about sex at all but I also think that things have changed since his ADP seminar. I don't know. They are happy and I love Lisa, too, and nothing has changed very much. And I love them being around and I'd really like us going on another trip in spring break. But I don't know what to do with mom and Danny. We can't get rid of them all the time because we are a family. But it was so nice just you and me and Lisa and dad around.

Sorry for writing so much. It's just that I miss you and I miss talking to you and now I'm really depressed again. I don't even want to practice the violin.

Just come back.

I love you

XXXX

Debbie
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: I love you!

Hi George,

I miss you. It's only orchestra, orchestra and orchestra. See you soon,

I love you! ♥
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

Emma Dubois, PhD

Subject: Sry, no 12.9

Hi Emma

sorry, I'll have to skip our 12.9 talk, but I want to tell you what's going on. I'm gone again with my orchestra and they said that they'll promote me to first violin if it's going on well. So I practice, practice and practice and George has helped me a lot. But there is not much time for doing anything else. A good thing is that it's Spring Break soon and we are going on a trip with dad an Lisa again. We did it quite cleverly. We'll go to "our seaside" for two days together with dad an Lisa and after that mom and Danny pick dad and me up and we'll go on to the mountains as a family while George brings Lisa home so they can celebrate Easter with their families, too. I don't know what we are going to do in mom's beloved mountains but everybody is happy and that's okay with me.

I think that my messages are private and only Mr Driver can read them so I suppose that you don't have to "not to be forwarded to adult participants" this one. But you also didn't read my last message to George. Well, he was gone and I was quite lonely and I wrote some really melancholic stuff and when I read it again I am so sad and so happy at once and now I'm with the orchestra again and yesterday I didn't even think of George. I felt so guilty that I sent a little message a minute ago but that won't help, too, because it was really superficial. This is a nice word because it describes myself pretty well. It's just like with the horrible weather outside we don't even run and we only practice and do school work and sometimes I'm even too tired to sleep with George. But after our skiing trip we had promised to do nice things that have no reason and no sense just because we love each other. I hate everyday life and all the things I have to do. And then I'm really proud when the conductor says that I'm really good and he wants me to play the first violin. But that's not all, is it?

And then there are some really cool kids at the orchestra and we talk and talk about everything and we are laughing and they understand how I feel and I have found a really good friend. She is called Jennifer but I just call her Jay. Jay is 14 and she was on the ADP, too, and we talked a lot about our grown up pals and she told me how it was that from one day to another she just stopped loving him because it was like waking up and before he was really her lover and she adored him and the next day he was just an old man. And now she has a boyfriend who is 16 and she told me that he really understands her and that he doesn't treat her like a little girl and that they have the same hobbies and go to the same school and that she is really in love.

I told her Stop talking! because it made me so sad because I remembered that George and me have stopped talking about important things over the last weeks and it was me because there was only violin, violin and violin. I hated myself so much, and I told Jay, and she said that perhaps I also don't need a grown up pal anymore and that she knew a really nice boy who liked me but she didn't want to tell me who he was. And then I nearly slapped her in the face because I was so agitated because I miss George so much and don't want to have a stupid boyfriend. Of course I'm a good girl and don't slap people. So I went outside to be alone and that's where I am now writing this message.

I don't know. I'm just looking forward to our little trip, and with George and Lisa and dad around I think everything is going to be all right again. Or it is?

That's all from me for now. Don't answer back.

Just view it, file it, cut it, paste it, drag it, drop it, zip, unzip it.

(Sorry – there's some cool kids around who are into old electro dance music and do some really sophisticated deejay stuff. Perhaps I'll tell later.)

I'll get back to you when I'm clear with myself.

Bye,

Debbie
The ADP counseling board

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

George Davies, PhD, has joined the session

Hi George. You know, it's time, right? So, let's start the process slowly. I think you've got some time left. Just tell me. You know what I'm talking about.

Hi Emma. Yes. The end of things. Armageddon is nigh. To be true I've been waiting for you contacting me since January before our skiing trip. But Debbie turned the tide. For a brief moment of bliss.

I don't know what you have been talking about in your examinations and Debbie won't talk a lot lately. So, well, let's start:

Since the end of last year I have been afraid that things would change. Debbie was so much into her music that we didn't do much more than practicing. It was my part only to play the piano score and hers playing her parts again and again. I had to correct her and encourage her but we didn't play together, she was playing alone with me just being her coach. Oh yes, we had sex but this was also just routine. I thought this was it and even looked up the page of "my" monastery but our skiing trip changed everything. It was so wonderful and the month after we were back to the beginning only with more passion, if you know what I mean. So, when good old Routine knocked on our door again, I realized that even this wonderful month was nothing more than an omen. With me she was re-living our past and it was a beautiful past. But there was no present involved, no future. George and Debbie just acted being a little girl and her grown up pal. Debbie is no little girl anymore. Look at her. She looks like fourteen. She is a teenager. She hasn't yet shown signs of that but in no time she'll see that I'm just an old man. Someone to like but no one to adore. Someone to trust but no one to turn on.

Well, you know that I hate your gloominess but I also love your self-reflection. But I'm afraid that I have to correct you. She has had some bad influence lately. You know how much she had been influenced by Tina who told her her sex stories and how much Debbie had longed for having sex after that. Without telling too much I can tell you that she got to know a girl on the orchestra who told her how her ADP relationship ended. It was exactly like you said. She saw the old man in her grown up pal and it was over. Debbie hasn't reached this point. Maybe she never will because she is different and not as impulsive as other girls. Her intelligence is far above average and she shows more self-reflection than most teens I got to know. On the other hand she is developing quickly. Peers seem to have a growing influence on her and her daily routine is more than just an obligation but has become a part of herself, a part of her growing up. Yet, she still needs you. She misses the playfulness of your beginning on the ADP and she is looking forward to your Spring Break trip. I think you should let your monks work and pray without you for a while. Debbie still loves you and needs you.

Thanks for the insight. It's a shame that we have stopped talking much. You call both of us very self-reflected. And I needed you to tell me. Until a minute ago I have thought Debbie to be quite impulsive but I am influenced by two events: her message with this video nearly two years ago (and I was really struck not only by seeing her young beauty in full but also by her courage sending it to me) and the "Rockenfeller-Incident". But you are right. Every single bit she did was well thought over. She initiated our first little innocent sexual encounters after a long time of thinking and planning. Most messages she wrote were far beyond the style of regular ten, eleven and twelve year-olds. Behind her playful and make-believe impulsive facade she is a real thinker. And wasn't her "regress" into being ten or eleven again also just a plan to save our relationship?

_The two of you should write a novel. It would be five hundred pages of interior monologue with actually doing nothing. You are both great thinkers. Actually_ doing _something seems to be just the last resort when_ thinking _alone won't achieve anything. Luckily Debbie is a girl and kids don't think as much as adults do. Even the most top heavy ones. She has initiated too much – I think now it's time for you to initiate. I won't tell you what and why. You'll have to tell me. I'm your counselor._

Thanks Mrs Troy. Just read my thoughts and everything will be alright and I can stop talking. Just kidding. So first of all:

\- Why?

Let's see. More interior monologue.

Debbie is growing up in a frightening pace. She is more ambitious than most adults I know. Everything has to be perfect. School, music. Things she can't control completely have at least to work out according to her plans, like our relationship. Her "professional" ambition interferes with her planning our relationship and so she longs for the past, when everything was working out fine, at least in her memories. She is caught in a vicious circle and I'll have to help her out because otherwise our relationship would end in a way that could affect her negatively.

Much harder to answer:

\- What?

It is still funny to see how my girls have been able to "control" their development. Wendy wanted to stay a little girl and physically she stayed for a long time. Debbie had always wanted to grow up and look at her now: She looks two years older than Wendy looked her age. But Debbie is still twelve. She may look thirteen or fourteen, when you look in her face you still see the little girl. And even though she acts like an adult something inside her still clings to her childhood. Like Wendy, like all girls her age. She has reached everything she wanted: We have sex, she is an excellent musician, peers like her and adults take her seriously. Where has little Debbie gone, who loved the Giant Gyro Twister and the huge shakes? It was my idea to introduce music to our relationship but now it's me having to pay for it. Perhaps I could make Jack and Jenny drop a bottle of coke into the piano? But I think that's not a good idea. Debbie has always hated sharing the flat with them and she is getting less and less tolerant when she discovers something there that does not belong to us.

I think we should just start by talking. We talked so much in the past, about the ADP, about society treating CYTL people, about her family, about ourselves. We should start over again. Next week the craftsmen are in the flat because the bathroom's in a mess. So we'll go out and talk. And because we are soooo self-reflective we could make a list: "things that are good", "things that are not so good", "ideas for changes". Sounds like psychology for dummies but it could work.

Just for the records. I have grown older and wiser myself (at least sometimes). I know that it is going to end soon. I am more prepared than I was with Wendy. But I don't think that clinging to her childhood is a totally bad thing. She doesn't need me for her future. She doesn't even really need me for her present. She's able to cope alone with the help of her family and peers. But present and future rob her of her childhood and as long as there is still enough "little girl" inside her, "little Debbie" needs me. Yes, I'm getting confused by her looks. Sometimes I don't recognize her anymore. But she is not even thirteen. Yes, she is affected by puberty, yes, she is affected by her own ambition. But perhaps "little Debbie" can leave the two of them alone for a while.

Oh George. Again you only produced interior monologue. And I think I can't help you in this case. Do what you feel to be right. I know that you are a professional and I just contacted you in the first place to give a first warning. Well, you are warned now and I am very happy that you are working with it professionally. At least your way. And I want to tell you that I will contact Debbie before your trip. My support has to become closer in this phase. You know that.

I wish you the very best.

Thanks, Emma. Sometimes I don't know why I am doing this. But then I look at Debbie and everything is okay. I still love her very much. Bye.

And she still loves you. Bye.
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

**Subject:** ♥

Hi George,

this is little Debbie speaking because big Debbie had to go to the bathroom and then to her orchestra. You know how big girls are: only obligations and menstrual cramps.

Just wanted to tell you how much I loved our talk last Wednesday. I really forgot how good it feels talking to you. Let's find a nice boyfriend for big Debbie and while they make out we can talk, talk, talk. And ride the Giant Gyro Spinner and have some huge shakes 😲. The good thing is, only big Debbie will get fat from them.

Just kidding. But I got an idea: There is Easter Fare at St. Monica Beach and perhaps we can pass along on our way to "our seaside". Perhaps we can take dad and Lisa with us. You know, Danny always gets sick on all the rides and wouldn't be mad at us (he really gets on my nerves: he hates the cold, he gets sick on even the baby rides, he's allergic to everything, you can't do ANYTHING with him. Luckily mom is quite complicated, too, so the two of them get along well doing boring stuff).

Big Debbie will stay home. She has to practice the violin and change her tampons 😅.

I love you!

XXX Debbie!

P.S.

Big Debbie just called from the bathroom. She loves you very much, too, and she doesn't want to have a stupid boyfriend. She's fine with us going to "our seaside" but now she really wants to do something with you that she won't tell me about because I'm too little to know 😉. She says that she is feeling really hot right now and I don't know what she means. I told her to open the window 😆.
The ADP counseling board

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

Deborah Smith, has joined the session

Hi Debbie. You didn't contact me but I thought that we should talk again before you leave. You sounded like things were getting complicated for you. To be honest I talked with George about the two of you and he promised to talk to you. Did he? How do you feel?

Hi Emma. Yes, sorry, I should have written a message. Yes, George and me had a good talk. A couple of weeks ago something in the bathroom of the flat had to be fixed and we couldn't go there. So we went to Starbuck's and talked about what had been going wrong over the last months. George had a good idea and we both wrote down what we liked and what was bad. So we had: Sex, running, both 😉. Just being together, holding hands, cuddling. Talking, going to "our seaside", spending time with dad and Lisa. Not being alone, having somebody who loves you. Spending time together only the two of us.

And on the other side: Not having any time at all. Being gone all the time. Being a teen and doing teen stuff all the time. Menstrual cramps. Jack and Jenny being messy in our flat.

Then it became clear. First thing we did was leaving our stupid posh-o-chinos and going over to Benny's. We just shook our heads why we hadn't gone there in the first place. And we giggled a lot about all the wannabe grownups at Starbuck's pretending to be adult. It didn't matter if they actually were adult or just teens, everybody looked so important that it was just ridiculous. So at Benny's there were only happy people, kids, teens and I bet some happy ADP couples like ourselves. So the first thing on the change list got ticked off: Not pretending to be adult.

After reading our list again we saw that there was no violin on it. Neither on the good side nor on the bad side. What was this supposed to mean? George told me that it was clear that the violin has become a part of myself. But it was also clear that the violin stood between the two of us. So we put on the change list: No more practicing together. It was kind of sad but George was right that it put too much pressure on me when we are together. So I'll have to practice alone. To be true, I have become so much better than George and he can't help me much anymore.

I can't change menstrual cramps. We can't change sharing the flat with Jack and Jenny. George and Jack share the rent. But it really struck me that I understood that there are two Debbies inside me. Big Debbie playing the violin and being good at school and little Debbie just wanting to be a kid together with George. Well, little Debbie still loves just holding hands and cuddling, she still loves the rides and 😲 (you know what I mean). But big Debbie is not all about the violin and As at school. She is also into George and she loves having sex. Will they go together? I wrote George a funny message and told him that big Debbie will stay home. But after Spring Break big Debbie will have a lot of obligations. I don't know.

_Thank you for telling me so much. I know how you feel and being torn between kid and teen, the adult side getting stronger and stronger inside you, is hard to cope with. I was a teen myself and I didn't even have the support you have. For now it is a good thing that you sorted out what is good and what is bad for your relationship. But remember that being together with George is not only about re-living your childhood. It's not about "little Debbie" and "big Debbie" being two distinct persons. You_ are _big Debbie. Your life will go on. George will be at your side as long as you want him to. He will support you. He loves "big Debbie" because of the person she is. Not only because of the little girl she once was. It's not a good idea to keep "big Debbie" out of your relationship. Think about it._

You are right. And George told me that you think that I am really "self-reflective". That's perhaps the problem that I can't just do stuff but I have to think about everything. But I want to be "little Debbie" again. At least for the few days of our trip. I don't know how it's going to be like with my family after that. And then there is another week with the orchestra. And then it's 12.10. I promise to come. Thank you Emma, you are the best!

I wish you the very best. And you know that I very much like you, too. Keep it up and feel free to contact me any time.
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: GOOD NEWS!

Hi everybody, guess what,

I'm pregnant!

More later

CU Debbie
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: April Fools!

Yea right. It was a bad idea. But I didn't know that you'd freak out that much.

Yes, everybody, I'm totally sorry. It was just because it's Easter Day on April 1 this year and I wanted to have a really good April fool's trick. Ha. Ha. Nobody was laughing. Great.

\- No, Emma, I will not have an immediate session with you.

\- No, Mr Driver, I am not putting the good spirit of the ADP in jeopardy.

\- No, mom and dad, I didn't want you to die of a heart attack.

\- No, George, your thingies down there are still cut, I guess.

\- Yes, George, I will be a good mother. Perhaps later.

\- Yes, Emma, I'll attend 12.10. I promise.

\- Yes, everybody, I'm looking forward to my orchestra week because people there got a sense humor and I'm not surrounded by adults. I'll get back to everybody after that.

End of message.
The ADP counseling board

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

George Davies, PhD, has joined the session

Hi George, how can I help you?

Hi Emma, have you heard anything of Debbie? There has been total silence since her message and our calls.

I haven't heard anything, too. I think she needs her time. I'll wait until 12.10. If she doesn't come, I'll contact her. But be prepared. There is something going on inside her. I am afraid that your "little Debbie" had a terrible accident on April 1 and only "big Debbie" survived. I still don't believe that this had been a good idea in the first place.

You may be right. Let's wait. There is nothing else I can do. Just wanted to know. Bye!

Bye, George, keep it up!
From:

Emma Dubois, PhD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _Monthly examination for sexually active ovulatory girls (12.10)_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

General remark

Due to the voluntary nature of this examination it had not to be timed at the exact point of predicted ovulation.

Physical development (Examination limited to reproductive system)

Ovulation occurred from right ovary. Menstrual cycle becoming more predictable.

Mental development

Deborah regrets her "April Fool's message" very much. Yet the reaction of her adult reference persons evoked resistance and the need to spend more time with peers. Even though the relationship with Mr Davies is complicated at this point of time because of Deborah's long absence (both in place and mentally), she still knows how much she has in common with Mr Davies and plans to continue her relationship with him. She wished to talk about the events of the last weeks in private.

From this point onwards for the records only. Not to be forwarded to all adult participants.

{Little more that two weeks have passed since her April Fool's message. Deborah expressed her deep sorries for having done, again, something stupid. She told me that this incident and her orchestra week had changed much inside her but I asked her to start from the beginning, to tell me what happened since our last talk.

At the beginning of Spring Break Mr Davies, Deborah, her father and Lisa Anderson went to their short trip to the seaside. On their way they stopped at St. Monica Beach for Easter Fair and had a very good time there. They "had unhealthy food and rode all the rides and had totally innocent fun". For her it was again like being "little Debbie" and she was very happy. She was also proud that the hotel staff greeted George and her like "special guests" because they have been well known at the hotel and she was very happy to introduce Lisa and her father as coming there on her recommendation. The hotel manager asked her if she could give a little concert again, like last year, but Deborah answered that she was a professional now and was only allowed to play if her manager made a contract.

This was the first time when she felt "big Debbie sneaking in". She had promised not to bring the violin along because this was on her "change list", but when the hotel staff flattered her with compliments about her musical skills, she regretted not being able to perform and told this lie to put on airs. Neither her father nor Mr Davies were very happy about that and even Lisa was a bit mad at her. Deborah told me that she had told her a bit too much about sex and now with telling lies with her being around she believes that she has a very bad influence on Lisa. Then she went back to the lobby and told the manager that this was not true and that she only wanted to have a few days of recreation without any obligations. Yet, the first evening together was overshadowed by a bad mood.

The next days were good and "big Debbie stayed out". They had some fun in the hotel pool and could even have a quick dip outside because the weather was very good for the end of March and the outdoor pool was heated. At night she "forgot about everything" and Mr Davies and her had a good time. She didn't want to tell more.

_"And now all the bad stuff begins". Her mother and her brother came to pick them up for their family trip, Mr Davies took Lisa and they went home. The week around Easter was horrible for her. Her brother wanted to go hiking every day and her parents had fights all the time about her father spending too much time with Lisa and "neglecting his family". And with even Mr Davies having been mad at her about her lie in the hotel she was "sick of being surrounded by moralistic adults and little kids". No one seemed to care for her. Her family only cared about her brother, Mr Davies and Lisa had their own families and she felt totally alone. She said that – again – she didn't know what got into her but she had the desire to shock everyone and the idea with her April Fool's message came up. "Yea right, I'm so self-reflective that I know now that I just wanted everybody's attention", but she hadn't foreseen the consequences. "So much for self-reflection!" She should have know from her own experience that everything connected to sex was taken very seriously on the ADP and her phone didn't stop ringing. First of all Mr Driver called and after she had told him it was a joke he was really mad. "I didn't know that he was_ able _to raise his voice_ at all! _" Then I called and – to be true – I also reacted in a very harsh way. Finally Mr Davies called. He knew that it could not be true. He wasn't mad at her but he was disappointed and told her that he had always believed that she would behave more adult-like and that she had behaved more maturely when she was ten. She screamed back. "You wanted me to be a f***ing kid, now see what you got!" The rest of the day she spent crying. The family trip was ruined. She spent most of the time writing messages to her friends from the orchestra and had long phone calls with Jennifer._

Home again she was very happy to leave for her orchestra week. The most worrying thing for her was that she was totally happy together with her peers and with minimal contact to adults and that she didn't miss Mr Davies at all. In the evenings, after practice and rehearsal, one of the boys introduced her to a new style of deejaying. It is called "Electro Live Jam" and it is about using classical instruments to improvise on electronic dance music, recording your improvisation and then altering it electronically and re-mix it live. She explained it in large detail but I am sorry that I may not be able to repeat it correctly. Well, the boy, Leon, invited her to improvise on his music and she did it quite well. He also invited her to do it together with him in a teen club night. She didn't say yes at once but she noticed that she enjoyed being liked by a boy and she didn't tell him that she was not even thirteen. "I look far more mature that he does so everybody could believe that I'm fifteen, too."

Telling about this event she realized that she also didn't tell him that she had a grown up pal on the ADP. Not because she wanted to hide something but she felt that "only little girls have grown up pals". In this situation she wanted to be a cool teenager. And having a grown up pal was something that didn't seem cool for her. At least in that moment.

Then she broke down. I couldn't stop her. She cried and cried. "First lying to the hotel staff, then writing this stupid mail, then even denying George because I was afraid of not being cool!" She said that she didn't belong to the ADP anymore because she had become a superficial liar who really "puts the good spirit of the ADP in jeopardy." And that "George doesn't deserve to be together with a person like me." I told her that she hadn't "denied" her relationship with Mr Davies at all, because no one had asked her about it in the first place. Wanting to belong to a peer group was totally normal for girls her age and lying about age, hobbies et cetera is – not ethical – but every girl does it. You could have a guilty conscience but nothing was put in jeopardy.

_I told her that it was most important for her to be sure of what she really wanted herself. If she wanted to be together with Mr Davies, she had to talk with him about everything. He would be by her side whatever happened. And if she wanted to stop being together with him, he'd understand, too. He knew that at a certain point of time a girl doesn't need a grown up pal anymore. Still crying she told me that she hadn't talked to George since the incident. But she was afraid that something terrible had happened to "little Debbie" and without her she wouldn't dare to talk to Mr Davies. Then I answered in a harsh voice that all this "little Debbie" and "big Debbie" talk had been a bad idea from the beginning but nobody had wanted to listen to me. There was only_ one _Deborah. She was twelve years and ten months old. Her mental abilities were far beyond a normal twelve year-old and she could handle situations without stupid role play._

I wanted to apologize right away for talking in such an unprofessional way when Deborah looked up and thanked me for being to blunt. This was exactly what she needed. I told that she acted like Mr Davies, who also needed to be yelled at from time to time. This made her happy again. "After all we still belong together. I'll go to him right away."

We still had to work out a summary because she didn't want everyone to know what happened and we decided to make it at least end in a positive way.

It is my conclusion that Deborah is ready to end the Program. She clearly appreciates time with teens over time with adults. Adult morality evokes acts of resistance. She is a teenager. We should consider to encourage her to end her relationship with Mr Davies in the best interest of both. I'll wait for a couple of weeks and have a session with Mr Davies.}

Remarks on contraception

Vasectomy performed successfully. Mr Davies's infertility has been repeatedly confirmed by his urologist Mr Kovalski, MD. While being sexually active with Ms Smith, I will be supplied with monthly confirmations of Mr Davies's infertility.

Deborah wishes to continue attending monthly examinations for sexually active ovulatory girl. She is free to see me again around 12.11.

The next regular Physical and Mental Examination with full evaluation of Deborah's physical development will be scheduled at age 13. 
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: I need you!

My George,

where are you? I called you a hundred times, I went to your house, I went to the flat. Nobody there. But I need you NOW! I just had my 12.10 talk with Emma and I wanted to apologize. You haven't heard anything from me for about three weeks and I was so bad to everybody. I don't know what gets into me lately. You know it seems like everybody keeps telling me that we should quit. Jay keeps telling me about boys and how she quit on her grown up pal, Emma hinted that if I didn't want to be together with you, I'd get all the support from everybody. Is this how it's going to end? Becoming a stupid teenager who does stupid teenage stuff? Yes, I know that adults more and more get on my nerves. But it was mostly mom and Danny and dad and Mr Driver and even Emma. You don't get on my nerves.

Do you remember how we played together for the first time? It was totally different. Without _you_ I'd never "really" started playing the violin. Do you remember my old "Humans to Mars diorama" that I showed you in hospital ages ago? I didn't care what As I got, I made it only for _you_. And you were so proud of me. And I remember mom's face when I gave her the tour at the Natural History Museum. It was _you_ who taught me, it was _us_ who were interested and this made me impress even mom. And there is a boy at the orchestra who is into this "Electro Live Jam" thing. You may know that it is about improvising. Guess who taught me? At the orchestra we only play our score. It was _us_ who started improvising, it was _you_ who got the idea.

Emma told me to dump "little Debbie" and perhaps she's right. But "big Debbie" would be a nobody without being backed by "little Debbie". And "little Debbie" would be a nobody without _you_. I don't want them to end it, I don't want you to end it, I don't want us to end it. I belong to you. And I hope that you belong to me at least a little bit.

Please take care of big Debbie. She isn't so big after all. All she wants now is being hugged by you and cry like a little baby. Has "little Debbie" ever cried? She was always bigger than she looked. And now all your adults and all my teens have reduced oh so big Debbie to a sobbing little girl.

I still love you. Even if nobody believes it.

Please call me back!

Your Debbie
The ADP counseling board

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

George Davies, PhD, has joined the session

Hi George, I have left the two of you in peace for the last month and no one contacted me. Is this a good sign or a bad one? Only you can tell me. And I want to hear it from you before Debbie comes to me for 12.11 tomorrow.

Hi Emma. Well. I don't know myself. It is still a roller-coaster for Debbie and me. Everything is different and you are right. We are in the middle of the end. Yet, Debbie still doesn't believe it. And as much as she keeps on saying that she has become a superficial teenager I feel like having become nothing but a hardened old man. After all my experience, teenagers seem to me so predictable. It's like Wendy and Martina merged together. She moves away from me and still clings to our past. We can't get rid of "little Debbie". We brought her to life, now she haunts us. You were right from the beginning but I still think it's normal behavior. Both Martina and Wendy were so similar in the ending phase. I don't interfere much. She can treat me like she wants to. I am not even overly hurt when she rebukes me. Which makes me hate myself as much as Debbie hates herself. But there still seems to be enough love left in both of us. At this point of time I have no idea how this is going to "really" end. And of course I am as much afraid as she is. Get me?

Yes and no. You give too many hints and not enough facts. Please. Facts. Chronology. I know you love chronology.

Yea right. Where were we? Her April message. No. Before. Our last real talk was some time before spring break. Routine knocking again. Me promising to talk to her. Making a list. I've already told you, or was it Debbie? Can't remember. And we had some nice days together without any obligations. Then Spring Break. Even though we promised she was strange all the way. She put on airs to the hotel staff with pretending to be a professional musician. Didn't give a good tune to our trip even though we had some beautiful hours of total forgetfulness. But it wasn't the same. Then she left and I got her message. Of course I knew at once that it was just an April Fool's trick but it simply wasn't her. Or at least the Debbie I thought I knew. And all you people getting mad at her made it even worse. No offense, you were right, of course. But it resulted in complete silence. At least she showed up at your examination and this seemed to have broken the ice. I was on a science board meeting at University when she called. When I got her message, I canceled every appointment I had and picked her up. She was all "little Debbie" again. No she wasn't. This sobbing little something in my arms was not the Debbie I knew. I don't know everything you were talking about but she was so ashamed of herself, so full of self-hatred that she wanted to quit right away because she felt being too bad for a person like me. I waited until she had calmed down a bit and we talked. She wanted to re-live every detail of our past three years and wanted to be assured that everything had been well. She told me a hundred times how much she loved me and that she wanted to drop everything for me. Before she could go after her violin to smash it I grabbed her and she cried again in my arms.

Then we went to the flat. She undressed immediately, well, ripped off her clothes and wanted us to make love immediately. It didn't work that way. I called her dad to ask permission and we spent the night together. No sex but a lot of crying. Next day she wanted to skip school to stay with me but I convinced her to go. Well, I had obligations, too. We met again and talked again and she wanted us to be like before. I said that this could be complicated because too much had happened. Of course she knew. She said that we should at least try because she wasn't ready to lose me. So we started all over again.

We met Mondays and Wednesdays and one day of the weekend, went downtown, went to the flat. One day she felt like running again and we did. Guess what? We both ran like the devil himself was behind us and after that we made love like he had caught us. For the first time after I don't know how long. Then she was totally relaxed again, giggled, wanted to call Mr Rockenfeller for micro injuries, wanted to do it again and really believed that now everything was back to normal. For a short moment of bliss it was. Then a call came from her conductor who asked her if she was ready to play the first violin. From one second to the next she was totally changed, nearly forgot to kiss me goodbye and was gone.

I didn't hear from her for four days and then she was back. Wanted us to cuddle, simply wanted to be close to me. Was "little Debbie" again. I played along with her and so it went on and off. She didn't want to talk about how she was feeling but I think something has to be changed soon. I didn't contact you because I still don't know how I can talk to her. It has become clear that she had totally separated her teen life from her life together with me. Any ideas? I'm out of options.

Thanks George. I can't help you much because you'll have to know yourself what is best for you, no, best for her. You know that. In this setting your relationship is not good for her. It has to be changed totally or ended. You are experienced. You already told that you are not as involved as you were with Wendy. Did you just say it, or do you mean it?

Well, Wendy was different. And much too similar. Our time together was _being_ a child for her, even though she wasn't anymore. Debbie _pretends_ to be a child together with me and knows that it's only make-believe. At the same time it's similar to Martina. She was totally into her political thing like Debbie is into her music. No. Both are/were totally into peers and have stopped benefiting from a close relationship to an adult. As an adult I am only in her way as much as I was in Martina's. Yet, like Wendy, she clings to her late childhood days together with me. She told me that I was the basis of everything she has become and that she was afraid that losing me could rob her of the background she needs for her "teenage life". She is not willing to make a clear cut yet. And we have too many loving memories in common. Together with me she is living in the past. If I tell her to end it she'll think that I also want to destroy her past.

Please talk to her. The two of you have a special relationship. She trusts you – you are both a friend and a professional for her. It's different with you.

Yes, I will. Thank you for telling me so much about your feelings and your relationship. This will be a very good basis for our talk tomorrow. I can't foresee anything but I am happy that you are prepared. And, to be blunt, much better prepared than with Wendy. No, you are no hardened old man. You are experienced and put Debbie's feelings, Debbie's needs above your own. That's what constitutes a real educator on the ADP. I hope that one day I'll reach your level. Yet, my thoughts are with you. We should stop now. It makes even myself sad and I'll have to prepare our session tomorrow. Bye, George.

Thank you again Emma. It's counselors like you that make the ADP the place it is.
From:

Emma Dubois, PhD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _Monthly examination for sexually active ovulatory girls (12.11)_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

General remark

Due to the voluntary nature of this examination it had not to be timed at the exact point of predicted ovulation.

Physical development (Examination limited to reproductive system)

Ovulation occurred from left ovary. Menstrual cycle becoming more predictable.

Mental development

With her teen life becoming more important for her, Deborah has accepted the fact that the relationship with Mr Davies is in its final phase. She still is not ready to end the relationship but she has decided to "go back to Phase I", which means no sexuality and only talk. She still wants Mr Davies to be present in her life, but more "as a friend" and not "as a lover" anymore. She wants to wait until her 13th birthday to make a final decision.

From this point onwards for the records only. Not to be forwarded to all adult participants.

{There has been no contact between Deborah and me since her 12.10 examination. To prepare this session I had a session with Mr Davies and he explained his feelings and the changes in his relationship to Deborah.

When Deborah entered my office she seemed to be very happy and told me that everything was fine again between her and Mr Davies. Yet, I knew that this was not the case. One look from my side was enough to make her talk.

_She told me that she still loved Mr Davies very much but that she begins to feel that she only loves him, when she is_ with _him. Yet, she also needs the time with her friends from the orchestra. She doesn't only enjoy the music, but also the time they spend together after rehearsals. They talk much, laugh understand each other. Better than adults understand her._

I carefully asked if they were talking about boys, too, because that's what teen girls are supposed to talk about. She seemed to be a little unsure what to tell, but decided to be honest with me. Yes, they are talking about boys and some of the girls have a boyfriend and, what embarrassed her very much, she never told about Mr Davies. He belongs to a totally different part of her life. She is afraid that the other girls will not accept her having a grown up pal because to her this is something only little girls do. Leon is a subject the girls like to talk to her about because they want to par them off. She said very shyly that she liked Leon very much and that she liked him liking her but she is afraid of even thinking about it. Each time she is thinking about even the possibility that she could have a crush on him, Mr Davies comes back to her mind and she remembers the good times they had and that she would never cheat on him. She also told (and I believe she got the idea from other girls) that in each relationship it was normal that you sometimes had a "little crush" on someone else, but if the love was strong enough you would get over it.

_I asked back if the love between Mr Davies and her was_ really _still strong enough or if she just felt the_ obligation _to stay with Mr Davies and if she only did not want to hurt him. She was silent for a long while and I saw that something went on inside her. Even though holding back her tears was hard for her, she said that she did not want to cry now and that she had been crying enough lately. But being together with Mr Davies is no obligation for her. It is a part of her life that is still precious to her._

I was open to her and told her what Mr Davies had told me about their last month together and if she had really treated Mr Davies like someone who was "precious". Again after a while of thinking and holding back her tears she said that I was probably right that she wasn't treating him very nicely. She comes to him when she wants to be "little Debbie" again and doesn't really care about him when "big Debbie" takes over. I told her that under these circumstances it was probably best to end the relationship because the ADP means Accompanied Development and it seemed to me that she was in a phase of development where she didn't need any adult company anymore. At least the kind of accompanying that Mr Davies could offer. She didn't need to end the relationship at once but perhaps could have a beak for a couple of weeks and see him again after that. If she still feels then that she wants to continue, they can both find a way to continue on a new level.

She didn't support my idea but came up with her own thoughts: she told me that she was very happy that she still met Mr Davies and that the three weeks after her April message without him felt very empty for her. But she still feels that "little Debbie" has been good to her and so she had the idea that they could still meet, but, like in Phase I, at public places, just to talk once or twice a week. Without any physical intimacy ("only perhaps a little kiss, I couldn't live without that, yet!").

She told me then that she knew all along that it had to end one day, but now, having reached this point, she was not ready yet. And she wanted Mr Davies to be around at her thirteenth birthday because she had already been planning something special. It was a shame she had changed so quickly. She definitely wanted to wait until after her birthday.

I asked her to be honest to Mr Davies and tell him. She promised to do so.

Before she went she wanted to tell me about some troubling thought she had during her time of "absence" after her April message. For a short time she felt really disgusted when she thought about the flat they had to share with the other ADP couple. Before, she had never cared but then she felt like going to a sleazy hotel, herself being the "kiddy whore" and Mr Davies her "punter", the thugs called them nearly two years ago. She knew that this wasn't true and she felt quite bad for thinking this way, but she wanted at least to tell someone. She asked me to promise not to tell anyone.

We finished our talk with a list of things to do in what she called her "final phase".

\- only talk

\- only meeting at public places

\- making preparations for a final ending of the Program (this was very important for her because she wouldn't do anything of such importance without proper planning)

_\- following her feelings only (this was very important for me, because she should become clear what she felt for Mr Davies_ and _for Leon. I stressed out that it was nothing bad for a girl her age, even in an ADP setting, to have a crush on a boy. But if it was something serious, it definitely was a sign to end the Program.)_

I told her that I would contact Mr Davies in two or three weeks time and that she was free to contact me anytime.

My final evaluation can be found in the public remarks.}

Remarks on contraception

Vasectomy performed successfully. Mr Davies's infertility has been repeatedly confirmed by his urologist Mr Kovalski, MD. While being sexually active with Ms Smith, I will be supplied with monthly confirmations of Mr Davies's infertility.

The next regular Physical and Mental Examination with full evaluation of Deborah's physical development will be scheduled at age 13. 
From:

Lisa Anderson

To:

Deborah Smith

Subject: What is wrong with you???

Hi Debbie

I miss you! You were always there and you were so nice to me. You told me that the ADP is really great. And now you have no time for me anymore and Jerry tells me that you don't do things with George anymore. But you told me that it is very nice to do things like that with somebody you love. Perhaps I want to do it with Jerry, too, one day. And on the skiing trip and at your hotel we had so much fun together. It was so nice with you and George because you are so nice people. You were always funny and happy and I was happy, too. Now Jerry says that you are sad and George is sad and you'll not be seeing each other soon. At school we've got "sex ed" and I have learned that when you hit puberty you'll behave strangely because your brain is growing and everything inside is in a mess. Is that true? If it means that I won't love Jerry anymore then I don't want to grow up. Please write back or call me and I'd love to go to Benny's with you.

XO Lisa.
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

Lisa Anderson

Subject: Re:What is wrong with you???

Hi Lisa

you are right. I haven't behaved very nicely lately. You are right with what you said about puberty. I really feel like I'm in a total mess. But all the people tell me that it's only natural and it means growing up. I don't know what you have already learned about the ADP but the ADP is for girls like you. You are still a little girl (no offense 😉) and your brain works pretty normally. You are happy with my dad and that is all that counts for you.

Do you remember what I told you about sex? It was very bad of me to tell you so much and I am sorry. I had a friend once who also told me very much about sex when I was about your age. And then I thought that it would be very nice to do it with George and you know that sex is only for big girls and I had to wait until I was big enough. And when we finally did it everything was different for George and me. I felt like an adult because I did adult things and George was like my real boyfriend. But then I realized that I was really growing up and that George wasn't my "boy"friend but somebody like my dad is to you: a very nice adult who loves you very much and who doesn't ask if you are cool or not, if you wear the right clothes or if you got the right phone. You know that kids your age care very much about things like that and that you always have to be cool. George just wanted me to be myself. And I felt very safe with him. He was nice to me and didn't care about anything else. But I remember that it was even nicer with him when I still was a little girl and we didn't do any adult stuff.

And now I feel like a real adult, even though I'm not even 13. No, I feel like a teen. I like being cool with other teens and I like boys liking me. I still like George very much and he still likes me. But it's not anymore like I'm really being in love with him and that makes me very sad. I know that it is not myself but only my brain structure that is changing and that I don't need a grown up pal anymore because I'm no little girl anymore. And being with George makes me very sad because I realize that I was so happy with him when I was a little girl and now I am just a stupid teenager.

You can't help growing up. But please promise to stay as you are as long as possible. Forget everything I told you about sex. Just be happy with my dad and do the things you are doing together and that you have been doing for ages. Sex only makes you grow up quicker than it's good for you.

I'm very sorry that I must tell you that there will never be something like our trips together again. But I promise to go to Benny's with you from time to time and of course we'll meet at our place because, well, I live there and my dad lives there.

I don't know if you understood everything I wrote because you are only ten and I don't know if I understand myself because I'm only a teenager and they say that during puberty you sometimes don't understand what you are doing and feeling.

Just be nice to my dad. He loves you very much.

And I love you like my sister.

CU soon @ Benny's 😲

And I'll invite you and dad for my 13th B-day. We'll have a big party at St. Monica Youth Club and I have invited a special guest for a special performance. But you must be aware that there'll be some pretty loud music and there'll be some pretty annoying teenagers around, including myself.

Your big and complicated sister

Debbie
The ADP counseling board

Counselor Emma Dubois, PhD, has joined the session

George Davies, PhD, has joined the session

Hi George, Debbie will be 13 in two weeks and I promised to contact you. Please tell me.

Hi Emma! Well, I don't know if there is much to tell. We both have agreed that it's going to end soon but she wants to wait until she is thirteen. I don't really know why but you know Debbie. She has plans for everything and for some reason she still wants to have me around at her birthday. She won't tell me. She just told me that she plans a last event together with me that she has been planning for some time and she still needs me there as her grown up pal.

Apart from that we meet at Benny's from time to time, but it doesn't take long because it makes her sad and I can't hide that it makes me sad, too. The good thing about these meetings is that we both realize that our love for each other has ended, faded away. At times, "little Debbie" still comes through and she wants to hug me and it is hard for her to hold back her tears. But "too many tears have already been shed" as she once said. I've prepared all the papers for our official "ending".

_I haven't heard anything of Debbie, too. I don't know what to say because she also didn't tell me anything. She promised to have her 13 examination. I think it's just her way to end it in a way that seems "proper" to her: having her 13th birthday while officially still being on the ADP and having her examination. I think she takes it as an excuse for saying goodbye to me as well. I must say that I'm sad, too, but all the three of us know that it must end and, well, that it_ has _already ended. We'll have to wait another two weeks. Perhaps it's in your best interest not to meet anymore until then. It seems to affect both of you._

You may be right and I have told her so myself. But she insists. She says that officially we are on the ADP and so we'd _have_ to meet. You know her logic. On the other hand we both learn, each time, that it's the best thing to quit soon. She has to live without me reminding her of the good times we had together and the love lost. My last "official" report will be the final "status change". But I think we'll hear from each other on other occasions that will not be reported here. Bye, Emma, you are great!

Bye, George. You know that I'll always be there for you after the end. And I think you'll need it, even though you seem to cope quite well.
From:

Deborah Smith

To:

George Davies, PhD

Subject: Another invitation

My dearest George

I know that you know that you are invited to my birthday party. But, you know, everything has to be perfect for me. So, please come along even though we are no "real ADP couple" anymore. I need you for special reasons so just let me be. It's a shame that we can't even talk to each other anymore without being sad. I don't know, you look sad to me, too, but I'm totally sad when we are together because it reminds me of the good days. I don't know why people like you do this if it always ends this way. I know that you had an ADP girlfriend before (Emma told me in secret, don't be mad at her) and that you were totally down when she quit. But you've been the best thing to happen to me in my whole life and I hope you are to her, too. And even if I don't love you anymore like I loved you a year ago or two years ago I still want to say that one thing is still true:

"I don't care if you are old because my dad is quite old too, and Mike is quite old and most of the boys in my class are stupid. My new English teacher is quite young but he is stupid, too."

Remember? My first message to you.

There is something inside me that will aways love you. But it's too far gone now. Gotta stop before I cry again.

See you tomorrow,

(Still) Your Debbie
From:

Emma Dubois, PhD

To:

Adult participants of ADP Deborah Smith

Subject: Results of Physical and Mental Examination. Summary

Examination: _in-program (13)_

Name: _Deborah Smith_

Physical development

\- Breast: _Tanner St. IV (increasing breast size and elevation, papilla of adult-like quality, areola spreading in size, becoming firm and slightly elevated)_

\- Pubic hair: _[Tanner St. III-IV] (shaved but growing for ca. three weeks. Hair of adult-like quality but still not spreading beyond bikini area)_

\- Underarm hair: _[Wolfsdorf St. III] (shaved. Spread can be guessed as still less than adult)_

Menstrual cycle fully developed, point of time and ovulation still irregular but becoming more predictable. A detailed examination of the reproductive system was skipped because of Mr Davies's infertility.

Mental development

Deborah is convinced that the loving relationship with Mr Davies has ended. She has agreed to end her ADP shortly after her 13th birthday (today). She still wants the protocol of our talk not to be published.

From this point onwards for the records only. Not to be forwarded to all adult participants.

{Together with Mr Davies Deborah has decided to end the ADP shortly after her birthday party. The last weeks have been very hard for her. She told me that she had realized that she did not feel any romantic love for Mr Davies anymore and this made it particularly hard to meet him at least once a week. But she had to be sure that these meetings were just obligations and no "quality time". During their meetings they just talked quickly about what had happened over the last week and then ended their meeting quickly. She realized that she had to protect herself from feelings of regret and guilt that came up when seeing Mr Davies. Yet it was her explicit plan to wait until her 13th birthday.

_I repeatedly asked_ why _it was so important for her to wait and finally she agreed to tell me. She had prepared an event at St. Monica Youth Club and needed Mr Davies around for a surprise. She knew that this would also be possible without being on the Program but the real reason was that she wanted to see_ me _again. Well, she didn't enjoy the physical examination very much but she needed to have a final talk with me._

And now, finally being at my office, she didn't know what to say.

She thanked me very much for what I had done for her and wished me the very best for my ADP training. She wanted me to tell her everything about the seminars and training session and especially how it was like for me as a woman.

I changed the subject again to her ADP and asked if she was planning on seeing Mr Davies after the end of the Program. She said that she was not sure. She still feels guilty each time she sees him and wants to remember the good times they had. She explicitly pointed out that the time together with Mr Davies had been the best time of her life and that it was a shame that she felt that her love for him had "vanished". She repeated what she told on our last meeting, that she knew that she had "grown out of the program". Nobody had ever done as much for her as Mr Davies, nobody had cared as much as long as she could remember (except her parents, of course, but this was different for her). But it had always been a fact that she had been a "little girl" and Mr Davies an "ADP educator". Setting was clear. Now she was no little girl anymore and the setting simply wouldn't fit anymore.

The hardest thing for her to realize was that she felt embarrassed of "outing" herself as an "ADP girl". She told everyone about Mr Davies when she was ten and eleven, because she was proud of having a grown up pal. Now, even though only being 13, she feels so grown up, that an ADP relationship simply wouldn't fit into her life. She knew that the "normal age" of ending an ADP was fourteen, "but look at me, I look like fifteen!" I told her that she looked like a normal thirteen year-old and that she knew that teen development has a wide range in girls her age. She complied that this may be true, but she "felt" too old for having a grown up pal. She needed her own life and friends her own age. She wasn't sure if she really had a crush on Leon but teen boys becoming attractive to her was another sign that she had "grown out" of the ADP.

Another thing she wanted me to know was that Mr Davies has not become an "old man" to her, as her friend Jennifer had told her. He still was an attractive man in her eyes, but more like her father. She couldn't even judge if he was attractive or it he wasn't because they had spent too much time together when physical attraction had not been an important question for her.

Another thing was her connection to Lisa Anderson. She felt guilty for having a negative influence on her. On the one hand she helped very much to "arrange" her 'Single ADP', on the other hand she told her too many (in her opinion) confusing facts about sex and she behaved very badly in front of her. As the "big sister" she wanted to be, she presented a very bad role model. I corrected her and told that she did what "big sisters" do: help and care when both is needed and being herself. Growing up is no easy task and witnessing all the changes that you will perhaps go through yourself could make things easier for "little sisters". I encouraged her to keep up a good connection to Lisa and to support her on her 'Single ADP' with her father.

"Yes, and this is the end," she finished. She hugged me very hard and when tears sprang to her eyes she wanted to go immediately. I told her again that even after the official ending of her ADP she was free to see me or to contact me for at least three years. I also prepared her that five, ten and twenty years after the ending of the Program she would have to attend sessions with an ADP counselor for scientific evaluation. The protocols would be anonymous and randomized. After the official ending of the Program her family and herself would be given a window of ten days to fill in a final evaluation sheet on a voluntary basis.

She told me that she knew all that and then she was gone. I must note, that it is hard for me to accept that perhaps I will see Deborah never again. I've grown quite fond of her.}

Remarks on contraception:

The relationship was not sexual at the time of this examination.

Deborah wishes to end and her ADP soon. If she decides not to, she is still free to see me on a monthly basis.

In case the ADP will be continued the next regular Physical and Mental Examination with full evaluation of Deborah's physical development will be scheduled at age 13.5.
Official Remark

The Accompanied Development Program Smith/Davies ended at Deborah Smith's age 13+2d.

Within a time window of ten days final evaluations of educator (obligatory), parents and girl (voluntary) will be accepted.

After this period of time the files for ADP Smith/Davies will be closed automatically without further notice.

Glen Driver

(director)
From:

The Smith Family

To:

Glen Driver

National Institute for Accompanied Development

Female Section

Subject: Voluntary evaluation sheet – End of Accompanied Development Program

Name of girl: _Deborah Smith_

Name of educator: _George Davies_

Remarks

\- Due to the emotionally challenging nature this evaluation sheet is voluntary

\- No rating is to be given at this point of time

\- There will be obligatory evaluation talks with a random ADP official five, ten and twenty years after the end of Program. Results will be anonymous, protocols will not be saved in this archive.

a) Parents

Comments

[Filled in by Mrs Smith Martinez:] _I will gladly take part in this evaluation because I want to thank Mr Davies and the ADP officials, especially Mr Driver and Mrs Dubois for their support._

Yes, the last months have been a hard time for our family. With Deborah happily being on the ADP I had the feeling that I had a grown up daughter who didn't need us parents anymore. Now we have our daughter back – changed but still Debbie. It has been difficult for her to understand that an adult "boyfriend" is not the right thing for her anymore and the onset of puberty caused many problems in our family. Yet, it may be that both problems are of the same nature. Deborah has become a teenager with teenage problems and neither we parents nor Mr Davies can help her anymore. We are happy that with the Youth Orchestra she has found a "decent" peer group that gives her support and provides her with "acceptable" friends with good backgrounds. You know that this is still very important to me and I will always stay being a "complicated" mother which means that I want nothing but the best for my daughter. I believe that up to this point we have been able to provide her with that. Mr Davies has given her all the care and love a preadolescent could possibly need, he helped her through the difficult phases of developing sexuality and beginning puberty. Of course this was hard for me to accept at times and I think that even if our society's approach on sexuality may become even more progressive it will always be hard for parents to accept that their children become sexual beings. But the ADP has shown that sexuality and late childhood are no opposites. Deborah was given the chance to explore her feelings together with someone she, and we parents, could absolutely trust and Mrs Dubois gave her – gave us – all the support we needed.

The phase of "growing out of the Program" has been difficult. But I believe it has been most difficult for Mr Davies. I got to know him to show a great love for our daughter and I know that my daughter loved him very much, too. Accepting that this love faded away with beginning puberty must be the hardest fact for any ADP educator. Yet, he supported her in any way possible. He made clear that he cared for her even if she stopped loving him.

You are right that I cannot give any rating at this point of time. But I hope that Deborah has been provided with enough background to cope with her next phases of development. I know that she is still free to contact Mrs Dubois for support and that we are, too. I hope she will accept this offer. I am looking forward to taking part in the next evaluation in five years. Much will have changed until then. Debbie will have grown into a young woman.

Thank you very much for everything,

Sincerely,

Susan Smith Martinez

[Filled in by Mr Smith:] _As always I can only add a few things. My wife forgot so say that we will always be there for Debbie and we always have been. She is our daughter and we will always love and support her. It is a shame that the relationship with Mr Davies has come to an end. To me he has been a source of inspiration and he has become a good friend. I hope that we will be able to stay friends. With me and Lisa being on the 'Single ADP' it is hard to learn that relationships like this can, will end. Perhaps it will be different with us, because even though being on the Program myself, I am no educator in the strict sense. If we just stay friends our friendship will perhaps last._

In her complicated phase of separation Debbie once told me that we should never have sex because it changes everything. You know that I have never planned on getting sexual with Lisa. I hope it will last the way it is. But this does not belong here.

All in all Mr Davies is an outstanding person and I am very happy that my daughter was able to share some very important years of her life with him. Let's see how she is going to develop. You'll learn in five years.

b) Girl

Comments (filled in without parental supervision): _filled in by Jeremiah Smith_

"No, I don't wanna write anything. Makes me too sad. Just tell 'em that it was a wonderful time when I was little and it was a wonderful time when I was not so little anymore and that George is great and that I hate... No I already told them. Just finish it up. They all know that George is great you don't have to tell them again. Perhaps only that I wish that George thinks of me from time to time. No, dad, stop now. I don't wanna cry again."

(Debbie said that I could quote her.)
From:

George Davies, PhD

To:

Glen Driver

National Institute for Accompanied Development

Female Section

Subject: Status change of relationship

Hi Glen

Relationship of Deborah Smith and George Davies changed to

ended

Development of relationship

And here my final report. Sorry I'm writing so late. But the window is still open.

The official form "End of ADP" was filled in and signed both by Deborah Smith and myself, George Davies, PhD. Is was confirmed that the ADP Smith/Davies ended at Deborah's age 13+2d.

It's been nearly eleven months now since my last status report. I will not be able to cover every development as most has been laid down elsewhere and can be accessed in this archive. It must be the largest archive in the history of the ADP with Debbie being the writer she is. Yet I know that it is my obligation to write this letter in appropriate detail. Even though our ADP has ended I know that I still act as an educator while writing this report and I explicitly confirm that the bottle of wine is waiting for me until I'm finished.

So last August. We had sex. We had sex again. We had sex over months and months and it was like being in paradise. For Debbie and me. Late summer and fall were one of the best times I had in my life. We had a deep and loving relationship, we coped excellently with our lives and our love, and running provided us with so much energy that everything, yes everything went excellently. I wrote a top rated paper in no time, Debbie exceeded all expectations with her music, the sky was blue, the birds were singing and at times a warm rain watered the dried-out soil to recover from summer's heat.

Or was it?

Or did we only live in our blissful little bubble and did not notice that we prolonged the magic of last August until it was so stretched that it finally broke? Well, whatever. Everyday life and total bliss won't go together unless you find strategies. Did we? Running was a good one. But making bliss into a routine doesn't work. So routine got us and brought us down. I don't know if this is possible but I believe that with having sex her body and mind accelerated maturation until she finally "grew out of us". Puberty. Every CYTL's archenemy, nemesis. Can't be defeated. Brings you down regardless what you do. And It got her, got _us_. We didn't realize early enough to make strategies how to adapt our relationship, how to make ourselves fit for the future. Is it possible at all? It'll bring you down nevertheless. "Little Debbie" came up, silently sneaking out behind one of the snowmen we built on our wonderful skiing trip. And she brought us closer together for a while, made us re-live what had already been lost, gave us a couple of months. Was tortured to death by Mighty Puberty. All the rest was just talking and crying.

No, I forgot her birthday party. A strange thing. Well, she wrote an invitation that let me reconsider everything again. But this has always been her way. She is good at writing. Better than any girl her age I have ever met. Even though she knew that it was over between us she brought tears to my eyes and I think to hers, too. She quoted her first message she wrote to me. My Debbie, always living in the past. At least with me for the last months. So there I went. It was a big party at the St. Monica Youth club. All her orchestra people were there and many classmates. And Leon was deejaying. I finally got to know him and had a little talk with him and I must say that he is a very decent young man. Which is the best (and the worst) I am able to say. So after playing some dance music he started an "Electro Live Jam" performance together with Debbie. I've never been on one before but the two of them were really talented together. Debbie improvised on a melody he played and he altered her recorded performance in some really sophisticated way. Then they tuned the music down and Debbie grabbed the microphone. She told everyone that she had been on the ADP and had had a grown up pal and that he had taught her everything about music and improvising she knew. She told that she was very sad that now, with being thirteen, she had grown out of the ADP. Then she called me to the stage, introduced me and, as a last thing on the ADP, she wanted me to perform together with her. If I wanted to. So I did my very best and we played together for the last time, improvising together like we did half a year ago and Leon caught our tune and made a special remix and the people danced and cheered and really freaked out. Finally Debbie, taken away by euphoria, kissed me passionately and told me that she would love me forever and wanted to drag me backstage for I know not what. But I said that we had agreed that it was over and she cried again in my arms and thanked me. And I left. It was better for both of us.

Two days later we met. I saw that she had been crying and we agreed to sign the papers. She promised to stay in contact.

That's it. Over. Out. Soon summer break starts. I will remember our magical weeks at "our seaside", our kingdom by the sea, where it all happened. I don't know how I will live through summer. I guess it is time for my monastery. At least for a month or so. Where I can contemplate, think about nothing. Do work that follows no purpose. Humble myself before Him who I have long lost my belief in. What comes after no one knows.

Low I kneel, with heart's submission,

See, like ashes, my contrition,

Help me in my last condition.

Ah! that day of tears and mourning,

From the dust of earth returning

Man for judgment must prepare him,

Spare, O God, in mercy spare him.

Amen.
National Institute of Accompanied Development – Female Section

Accompanied Development Program Smith/Davies

archived correspondence

Additional entry
Message archived in ADP Smith/Davies due to direct connection.

J. Arthur Sevens, Director

From:

Deborah Smith

To:

National Institute for Accompanied Development

Female Section

Subject: Please forward to former members of ADP Smith/Davies (George Davies, Glen Driver, Emma Dubois)

Dear Mr Driver

Hi Emma

My dearest George

I know that the official channel of my ADP was closed long ago. I'll write nevertheless even though I don't know if it'll reach you. And because this letter goes to all of you and no one at the same time I'll stay with the third person when talking about you. I hope that'll be okay for you.

So, let's start.

Yesterday I found an official invitation for the interviews. It was another reminder that it's been far too long that I thought on the Program and on George. Well, I'm 18 now, I have just graduated and so they say that I'm an adult. I don't know.

But after my birthday party and with the ADP letter it all came back to me and I want to tell _you_ , not just some random interviewer. Of course I'll tell them, too, but whatever.

Well, I wanted to write a couple of years earlier but I didn't. I don't know, it was perhaps two years ago, perhaps two and a half, and I was about 15. So I wanted to have a date with a boy I liked very much and I went downtown and I passed by Benny's and guess who came out? It was George. Together with a little girl. They were laughing and holding hands and seemed absolutely happy. At first I was struck because I thought, hey, it's George, I haven't met him for quite a while and you know the feeling when you meet an ex and it like stings. Then I thought what is he doing with this little girl? She must be no older that eleven? What is he doing at _our_ Benny's? What does he find in her? Look at her. She is all skinny and look at her face, she has really no color, white skin, white hair, colorless eyes, you can see right through her! She's nothing compared to me, my tanned skin, my dark hair, my dark brown eyes that he adored so much! Look how she giggles! I thought he liked intelligent girls like me!

Then I realized how stupid this was. And everything came back to me. I turned around on the spot and ran home barely able to hold back my tears. So what did happen until then? After the end I started living a normal life, like any teenager. I spent much time with my friends from the orchestra but with George gone I lost my interest in boys. I don't know why but then, being single and "ready" for a first relationship with a boy they all seemed much too childish to me. I had a little something with Leon but he was much too much into his music and he didn't care for me. Well, officially I was his "girlfriend" for a couple of weeks, we kissed a couple of times but it didn't feel right. I wasn't as sure of that back then as I am now, but I think I was waiting for "Mr Right", like many girls do. Only that I _knew_ what I could expect: somebody to love me unconditionally, somebody to adore me, to support me, to protect me. I had had all of that but – at the same time I wanted somebody on the same level as I was. I don't know if this is possible at all and I guess I am still waiting. Well, I am single now but I had a "real" relationship. But it still wasn't the same. We were together for over a year and I thought that I had found the right person but all in all he was just himself and I was myself. And I couldn't stop comparing him to George. And he would lose. Yes, he was a teenager and I was a teenager and we had nothing more than a teenage relationship. We talked about our problems on the same level, we even had sex. But after all he was just a boy. He was hanging around with his friends and did boy stuff. I felt too grown up for him.

All in all? Was it good for me to be on the ADP? It makes things more complicated now. I have learned what love can be. And I don't know if "regular" girls my age know. But was it the love you can expect at fourteen, sixteen or even eighteen? What I felt for George was different. I adored him as somebody I could trust unconditionally. I knew that he would never hurt me. In the beginning he was the perfect adult. Like a father only that he didn't push me around. No, this is not the right comparison. There is no person you can compare your "grown up pal" to. He was – what was he? A person I could project all the emerging feelings onto. He was my super hero and my best friend. He was my clown and my best teacher. And when my first sexual feelings emerged he was my lover. He loved me exactly the way I was ready for. He knew what I needed and never took advantage of me. On the contrary: with his being as reluctant as he was he pushed me into being absolutely sure of what I wanted. I had to convince him of doing with me what I wanted from him. And this was the problem with Leon. He knew that I had sexual experience and he wanted to push our relationship into a sexual direction. I couldn't stand that because _I_ was used to being the one to decide what _I_ wanted. I guess that in a relationship I will never stand somebody wanting to push me into a direction I don't want to move.

I talked to a lot of other girls about relationships. I guess all girls do. Many girls complained about their boyfriends pushing them around. Wanting them to behave, to dress, to "be" like _he_ wanted them to. Even to have sex with them because _he_ wanted to. Some girls complained but on the other hand did exactly what their boyfriends wanted. I don't know, but I guess that's a problem people have who never were on the ADP. They have to discover love, being in a relationship by themselves. They may be afraid to lose their partner and without having any experience they just do what he wants.

This made me curious and I talked to many girls who had never been on the ADP. One point that also struck me was their totally different perception of their own development. All of them told me that they were embarrassed, even ashamed of their bodies when they started to develop. They didn't want it. They were uncomfortable. Well, in the beginning I may have been myself but it was absolutely clear that George adored every square inch of my body. One thing that changed my whole life was how George looked at me at our first visit to St. Monica Fair. When I took off my sweater with only my tight top underneath. What made my mother freak out afterwards. Well, I knew that you could see every (tiny!) bit of my newly grown breasts and actually I was a little bit ashamed and hadn't put it on for school anymore. But it was really hot this afternoon and I didn't care. I think it was his look that made me fall in love with him. Without knowing I felt his adoration, his arousal, the same moment our eyes met. Of course I wasn't able to put it into words or clear thoughts back then, but I instantly felt being adored, felt totally sexy. And I explained quite explicitly in my mail to Mr Driver that I quickly felt sexually aroused by George's presence myself. He made me feel beautiful. He made me feel one with my developing body. And I have never felt as beautiful, as complete again as I felt at an age when other girls hated their bodies. Well, many parts of my body where more or less finished when I ended the ADP and this may have also been a (subconscious) reason for me. But during my years of development I felt complete. George made me feel beautiful each day. I didn't need to dress sexy like other girls did because I knew I was for George and this was all that mattered to me. Yes, I still keep myself in shape and I hope that I always will but I know that time is against me. When I was ten or eleven I knew that time was on my side, that I was about to become even more beautiful. For George. And nothing else mattered to me.

Which leads me to another point. Sex. Well, I'm still friends with Lisa. She's fifteen now and she is still friends with dad. I don't know if they are still on their 'Single ADP' and I don't think that they even know themselves. I believe dad had never contacted the ADP officials again except on the one occasion I want to tell about. I only learned it from Lisa. They had been friends since she was born but you know all this already. She was one of the girls who developed really slowly and at thirteen she still looked like eleven. Even now she looks much younger than any regular fifteen year-old and especially than I looked her age. So I treated her like my little sister and dad treated her like a little girl and everybody was happy with it. But when she was thirteen she felt like having to do something more with her grown up pal. And so she asked dad that she wanted to be treated like a real girlfriend and they had a couple of sessions with their counselor and finally she convinced dad and they had one night of the least "invasive" little girl sex imaginable. Dad never told me. And I guess dad never told mom and never will. Lisa told me quite a while later and even though she had wanted to try it out in the first place she wasn't comfortable. She told me that I had told her that I was afraid that sex could ruin everything they had and so they never repeated it again. And lived happily ever after.

Could it have been the same with us? That's what I've been asking myself a thousand times. Did sex ruin our future? You know how much I longed for George touching me in the beginning and how reluctant he was. Yes, I grew up quickly, but did I grow up too quickly after having sex with George? Isn't it as beautiful, even more beautiful the way dad and Lisa are living their relationship? Being friends with an adult you like and trust? And nothing else? I guess they will still be friends when Lisa is an adult, even older than me. They will share their lives to a much deeper extent. He will be there at Lisa's wedding and when Lisa has children. And I hope that Lisa will be there when dad dies one day. Yes, they will never have such a passionate relationship like George and me but they will be parts of each other's lives as long as they live. Isn't that "accompanied development", too? Is Lisa just different from me? I don't know.

But on the other hand... There ARE girls who tend to feel very attached to adults. I don't know if I was one of those but I always liked my (very few) male teachers in primary school very much and my doctor told my parents that I should go on the ADP. So I obviously was one of those in the first place. What could have happened if I didn't get to know George? Perhaps I would have fallen in love with a teacher? Well, I never liked my English teacher very much even though he was quite young, attractive and he obviously liked me. But you know how it's like with alternate time lines. The parallel universe without the ADP would have presented George as a teacher, I would have developed a major crush on him and...

And what? After having met George again back then when I was about fifteen, I started thinking about the ADP in general. By and by I read most of the literature about and by girls who had fallen in love with an adult. And you know that founding the ADP was quite largely influenced by kids' stories. You are on the ADP yourself and I know from dad that he had to read quite a lot of them. So I started reading myself and, as teens like to do, I identified quite a bit with some of the protagonists. You have read all the "Collective Memory of Lost Love". I particularly liked Jennifer Wails and read her story a thousand times. Well, I always hated her being a pink, horseback riding, shy little girl but her story was so... heartwarming?... shocking? It's only one of a hundred stories in this book and one of the last ones so I don't know if you remember.

She fell in love with one of her teachers when she was eleven. Really fell in love, not only a crush. At first she was too shy to say anything at all in class when he was around, then she took one bold step and talked to him and just said how much she liked his lessons and that he was her favorite teacher. So what followed was two years of kind smalltalk and quite good grades and nobody recognized from the outside what happened inside her. I can't replicate her style but for pages and pages she tells about her feelings: Being totally happy when he was around, being totally let down each time, each day of the week when she learned again and again that nothing was going to happen between them because he was her teacher. Forgetting about him in the holidays and being totally depressed again when recognizing that she had forgotten about him. The whole cycle starting again each day of school week. Her fantasies when she started to masturbate. Going to school with these fantasies still in mind, being blown away by his smiles at her and then dropping into a black hole of depression again when realizing that not the least of this kind was ever going to happen. Finally forgetting about him when she was about fourteen, even being ashamed of herself for having loved him, only to realize later in her life that she would never love any man as much as she had loved him at eleven and twelve. Her whole future life being influenced by this comparably short experience, including finding a partner who she could trust, and living a normal family life. Not being able to talk to anyone, not even a counselor in fear of her former teacher getting into problems, even though he had done nothing.

What would have happened in my little parallel universe? Would I have developed a crush on a teacher? My swimming coach? My violin teacher? How would it have been, being in love and knowing that _nothing_ is possible? What kind of a person would I have become?

Yes, I told that I envied Lisa for having known dad all her lifetime. But this is an extraordinary situation. Normal girls just don't meet adults outside the family or institutions. And it's totally clear that having a relationship with a teacher is not a good idea. So where do nice and loving adults come from? Adults who aren't attached to you in a professional way? Yes, you know the answer. There is no "natural" way. So after all the ADP still offers the best possibility. You'll get to know somebody you could possibly fall in love with. Which is no big deal for a little girl of ten or eleven – compared to the trouble you'll have to go through as a teen or an adult. Yes, there is a chance of failure, but only a small one. Nice and caring man who likes girls very much meets little girl in the beginning phase of her development who generally likes spending time with adults. Yea right. It's like George and me, love on first sight.

And the endings? I guess we'll have to work on them a bit more. But it's different each time. I was me, Jay was Jay, even Tina was Tina. It just ends. Puberty. I still can't figure it out. Thinking about the time five years ago I'm terribly sorry what I put George through. But can't there be a "Final Phase"? Like "Phase I" in the beginning? You guys seem to know everything about girls and sliding into the Program seems to work pretty well. Is it also possible to slide out as smoothly as you slide in? At least we _tried_ to slide out but it didn't work too well. And I think it was with your, Emma's, help that we managed it at least a little bit better. Did you plan it? Was it just part of the Program? I guess I'll never learn. But I almost forgot about myself having been totally torn inside, between my memory of having loved George overwhelmingly much and – the total absence of any feeling for him. Feeling, _knowing_ , that my childhood had ended. Could there have been done more to support me moving on? Or did you just know that I didn't need the ADP anymore?

Yes, George, I know that I haven't contacted you for quite a while. I know that we talked about all that when we met more than a year ago. I know how happy you were for me that I had a boyfriend back then and this made me happy, too. Your little girlfriend must be not so little anymore now. Are you still together? What is she to you compared to me? What am I to you? I know that you've had a couple of girls. What are they to you? Am I just another memory?

You are more that that. You have been and always will be a part of my life. Even though many things could have been much better, especially in the end. And most of it was my fault. I know that I behaved really horribly. And I still don't understand myself. But all the people tell that this is what puberty is all about. Behaving strangely, wanting to get rid of your childhood, breaking the rules, even the good ones, even the ones that are there to protect you. That's what I did very well. It was the way it was supposed to be, even though it might have been better if we had another year together or even more. Well, I am clear now, at eighteen, still just freshly emerged from being a teen.

Time to stop now. Emma has always told me that my writing was better that my talking. All the people who know me do. My Literature exam was outstanding. My oral exam was still good but much worse. George and Emma, you read most of what I wrote back then and you heard me talking and you watched me in real life. The Debbie who wrote was always the best Debbie.

I don't know what they are going to ask me tomorrow but I think my answers will not be as thought over as this (stylistically) confusing letter to you. Who cares. I will only be a little part of statistics. And because I am _soooo_ good at writing I am going to write a special thing for you, George.

I have told you, George, last time that I planned on becoming a professional musician and planned to study the violin. I guess I'm not good enough for that. And it won't earn me much money either. So I'm planning on becoming a music teacher. Application is still quite hard and you'll have to play in front of an audience and you'll have to compose a little piece for application. I'm planning on something bigger. What I'm working on is called "G&D" and it's quite experimental, shifting from D minor to G major and back, trying to follow all the phases of our relationship, ending in quite heavy assonances leading to a strong finishing chord in D major. I know that you can follow me, George. The rest of you, I'll invite you if it's ever going to be performed. It's for solo piano, solo violin and chamber orchestra. Let's see if it'll work out. There is still much work to do.

So, that's all from me for now. I promise to contact you in person and I hope that I'll keep this promise. Thank you again for what you have done for me. And keep your fingers crossed for me, my application, my studies, my whole life.

All the best,

Your Debbie
*****

Dear reader

you have made it to the end of the "Accompanied Development Program". I know about the controversial matter of this novel and it means a great deal to me, that you downloaded and read it. Please feel free to write a review. For further discussion you could perhaps start a thread on Social Media, something like #ADP.

Let me finally tell you a few words about myself and my motivation to write this novel:

Having worked for decades at least semi-professionally with children and teenagers of all possible age groups I have experienced far too many obvious advances of girls in their early stages of (pre)teen development to make me believe in misinterpretation on my side. I have reviewed various pieces of literature on preteen crushes and – found nothing substantial apart from generally applicable statements like "preteens tend to develop quick crushes on adults". While every detail of human relationships and sexuality seems to be discussed and re-evaluated, no one seems to care for the early phase of teen development. Questions arose like 'what do especially girls see in an adult male they have a "quick crush" on?', 'is it possible to develop a healthy and mutual relationship?', 'how long could it last to be beneficial?', 'under which circumstances?' and most importantly: 'how can child molesters be prevented from exploiting these circumstances for abuse?'

Of course questions like these touch one of the last taboos of our society and simply nobody dares to touch them in fear of scientific and personal persecution. Nevertheless many girls who showed the aforementioned advances seemed to be let down or at least embarrassed when I had to tell them (in the most careful ways possible) that certain advances were not only inappropriate but also dangerous.

On the one hand there obviously are be preadolescents who tend to develop strong attachments to adults while on the other hand there is a considerably large number of men who are very much attracted to kids. May there be a possibility to bring them together? To evaluate this question I have invented a fictional future world where this is possible. With respect to the minors I have known, I took care to exert as many levels of protection as possible. Then I let my mind flow with only minor planning. From time to time I added some obstacles for the protagonists just to see how they manage. Nothing more.

The form of an "epistolary novel" was chosen for convenience. The process of 'publishing while writing' made it necessary to split the story into short pieces. On the other hand the thoughts and feelings of all protagonists could be shown without having to choose something outdated and superficial as an 'omniscient narrator'.

This novel is nothing more than a "what-if-game". It is not supposed to be realistic in any way and you may already have guessed that choosing the "conservative" style of e-mails (something young teens wouldn't use even today) to describe a media based conversation in the future was chosen to make the future world feel anachronistic.

"The Accompanied Development Program" has already been read by a (relatively small) amount of early readers and was criticized substantially. Yet, I do not see an alternative and am more than willing to see my "creation" being discussed, at the best publicly. "Smashwords" seemed to be another possibility for me to reach a larger public.

_Well, none of the above mentioned questions can be answered by a fictional novel. As long as we do not know what teens_ really _feel, fiction will stay being fiction. If there_ is _a lager public being reached by this novel (which is doubtable), and some people may say something like "Yes, I actually_ did _have a crush on an adult when I was a kid!" (which is even more doubtable), there may be a small chance, that the "Collective Memory of Lost Love" way be written after all. Perhaps on Social Media, were people could tell about their feelings as a kid or a teen (#lostlove?)._

If you want to leave a personal message, feel free to write to arjay3_50@tuta.io.

Whatever way this story may take through the layers of the Internet and of time and by whatever way it may reach you – please pass it on, spread it, make it public.

And finally please accept my excuses for my bad English. As long as society forces me into anonymity I do not see any possibility for external proof-reading and editing.

R.J., December 2018 – May 2019

P.S. If you read this novel in the near or distant future and the changes foreseen have not taken place yet, just add a couple of decades to the few dates mentioned.
