

Promises in the Dark

Book One of

The Secrets of the Mystic series

By

Princess Racena McConnell

Co-Edited by Paul McConnell

Copyright © 2013 Princess Racena McConnell

All Rights Reserved may not be reproduced in any manner

With the exceptions of short quotes within reviews

on review sites and blogs.

This is a work of fiction.

# CHAPTER ONE

The dark waters flowed with a rhythm that reminded her of the way the ocean waves had brushed the sides of her father's boat long ago. However, there was no calmness in these waters. Instead of the clear blue of the deep sea, there was only blackness. The surrounding water appeared heavy—as if it were laden with oil.

In the distance, a boat came into view and in it was someone she didn't recognize. The vessel was a small one, enough so that the currents were almost too strong for it to stay its course.

The man in the boat was tall—well over six feet. His frame was large but lean. His very presence made Rachel feel safe in some familiar way. It also made her feel a flutter deep inside that she had long forgotten. As she looked down at her own body, she noticed that she was floating as if she were weightless above the dark water.

Suddenly, the calm feeling vanished, and she was filled with the terrifying thought of plunging into the swirling abyss no more than three feet below. She could see the boat approaching the entrance to the cavern. Strangely, she had been facing the cavern's entrance all along. Her back had been turned to the approaching vessel but she could see it just the same. It was as if the void that she was floating in front of was actually a mirror. As the boat and its occupant came closer, she turned to him to say something; however, she couldn't actually hear her own voice. Her lips were moving, but it was as if the disembodied voice was coming from someplace else.

She was pointing into the cavern and could hear the voice saying something about the universe. She tried with everything in her to understand the words, but everything she heard was foreign to her. The man was closer and could be seen in better detail now, but his ever-changing face was still indistinguishable. Despite her lack of focus, she could feel his fear—as if it were her own.

Suddenly, the cavern started to pulsate behind her—as if it were a living thing. As Rachel turned to look into the blackness of the entrance, she saw her own reflection. The places where her eyes should have been were just two black holes. She stared in horror at the sight, but then a comical thought came to her.

How the hell am I seeing any of this if I have no eyes? She initially laughed at the thought of this, but as it sunk in, she knew that the terror she had felt was a more appropriate response.

When she opened her mouth to scream, millions of tiny shards of what appeared to be glass started pouring out of the darkness where her green eyes usually resided. With Rachel now panicking at this sight, the water beneath her started to swirl violently—as if it were responding.

She turned to see with her non-existent eyes that the boat and the stranger were now gone—a huge, dark shape had taken their place. At first sight, she interpreted the monolithic shadow to be some kind of prehistoric sea creature.

Now face-to-face with it, her mind tried in vain to convince her body to leave, but some force was holding her there. It wanted her in this other world for a little while longer—just long enough to make her see what it was capable of.

The thing in front of her was well over ten feet tall. Its eyes were an icy blue color that made her think of the Caribbean. They glowed with so much brilliance that it was like trying to stare at the sun. There was something in those eyes that she couldn't name—at least not then. The face of it was beyond beautiful—it was so terrifyingly magnificent that it made her want to cry. Its body was somehow human-like, but also something that Rachel's brain couldn't quite process.

The creature moved in slowly, and suddenly Rachel felt a wave of terror flow through her. Now that her absent eyes were seeing it more clearly, she could tell that it was not what she had initially thought at all. It was, in fact, something far worse.

As it drew closer, the air thickened, and had changed to something that her lungs could not take in. Her airway felt as if it were trying to breathe in the thick water below her. She was overwhelmed with the feeling of drowning now, and the closer the leviathan came, the more the feeling intensified. As she struggled to take in air, she started to feel herself slipping away. Just as the monster moved in even closer to steal her last breath, Rachel woke up.

Screaming and thrashing back to reality, Rachel clutched her throat. She was fighting to free herself from some invisible thing's death grip. Finally realizing it was her own hand that was seized on her throat, she literally had to throw her half-conscious body onto the floor to loosen her own grip.

Now fully awake and staring up at her ceiling, she drew in quick gasps of air that barely filled her aching lungs. It felt like an elephant had lounged on her chest all night. If she had been a better candidate for one, she would have definitely feared she was having a heart attack now.

She sat up and leaned against the four poster king-sized bed that she occupied completely alone—even though Jasper, her four-year-old boxer had often tried to convince her to share. Standing up, she realized how hard she must have hit the floor—every bone in her body was hurting. After making a slow trip to the kitchen to start a strong Colombian blend in the coffee maker, she went back upstairs and started the shower.

The water had heated up to what seemed like a low boil as Rachel stood in front of the bathroom mirror putting toothpaste on her toothbrush. As she wiped away the fog that now covered the mirror and looked at her reflection, she noticed two things. On her left cheek beneath her eye was a tiny scratch, as if something very small had scratched her there. The other thing she saw, were the three fading red marks on her neck left by her own fingers.

After her shower, she descended back downstairs to her kitchen, where she knew the usual morning show awaited. She could already hear the loud-mouthed bird outside doing its thing.

There were a few thoughts occupying her mind. The first of course was the nightmare. However, she had become accustomed to these occurrences, so that wasn't too much of a concern. What was much more overbearing was what was happening Friday night—the dinner, the date, the...whatever the hell it was—she thought.

She wasn't enjoying the show outside of her kitchen window any more than she did any other day, but for some reason she watched just as she did a lot of mornings.

More than anything, Rachel wanted to call Jan and cancel. She knew if she did, she would never hear the end of it. There would be hell to pay if she backed out of this blind date that her best friend had set up—although Jan had insisted on several occasions that it would be nothing more than a casual get-together.

There is as much truth in that as there is in politics, and organized religion, Rachel concluded as she poured her second cup of coffee.

Jan and Ken were Rachel's only close friends and they were getting married in a few months. Since Rachel was to be the maid of honor in their wedding, they were adamant that she meet Ken's best man Derek. Meeting would give the two plenty of time to prepare for all the extravagances that the wedding would entail. The happy couple also hoped for a spark of some kind to ignite between their two best friends.

Rachel knew this. She hoped she was wrong about it though, and that it was just a casual thing for the two of them to meet and become friends.

God please let that be all those two are up to...just a simple dinner, oh I pray I'm making too much out the whole thing.

She relaxed a little, but then, for no apparent reason, she felt the darkness set in. She felt suddenly suffocated, as if a boulder were crushing her. The pressure was intensifying—she knew what it was, but never exactly why it happened. The episodes that always followed the strange dreams were bad enough on their own.

"Pair them up with the anxiety of meeting him...it's a miracle I'm standing right now," Rachel said to herself as she poured her third cup.

She knew how to deal with the attacks though—she had since she was a girl. Rachel closed her almond-shaped green eyes and began. Within a few minutes, the pressure was gone and the tremendous clatter in her head had dulled to a hum. She leaned down on the counter keeping her eyes fixed on what was going on beyond the plush green of her front yard.

"Come on Rachel," she murmured to herself.

She had been talking to herself a lot these days.

"Being divorced had its perks," she told herself, "There's no one to argue back."

She was still trying to come up with a good reason not to show up for the dinner.

"Think of something dammit! You're a writer...you know how to come up with a good lie."

She knew though that not even the cleverest lie—which she couldn't come up with at the time anyway—would fool Jan.

The woman had been a lawyer for years and Rachel's friend since childhood. Those two facts alone assured Rachel there was no point in even trying. However, she still wanted to at least attempt to find a way out of it. Rachel cursed a little more at herself now for agreeing to something she really did not want to do.

Even with the dread of the impending night lingering on her mind, she had a comforting thought. If there were two people that were meant to be together, it was Jan and Ken. Thinking about the love her two close friends shared made Rachel feel a little ridiculous about how she was behaving over the whole thing. It didn't stop her though from dreading the idea of meeting someone new. Admittedly, she had never been the social butterfly that her best friend was, and the past three years had only made that fact worse. She tried to put her own feelings aside and think of Jan—after all, it was her wedding. Rachel continued to look out the kitchen window.

You have to suck it up and do this for Jan...after everything she's done for you over the years. After pondering that thought, she knew if she were being honest with herself, it was only a half-truth.

Rachel sipped her last cup of coffee while she jotted down some ideas on her notepad for her next book. She was in the final chapters of Skin Deep, her latest book in a series she had released over the past two years. However, she couldn't shake the bad feeling that had overpowered her a few minutes ago. She attributed it to the thought of going on a date. She had been with one man in her adult life, and even though he had been the wrong man, he was all she had ever known.

Since Rachel's divorce three years ago, Jan had made it her duty to constantly remind her to get out and meet people. This was the reason that even though Jan had sworn to her repeatedly that it was in no way a date, Rachel had the nagging feeling that her best friend of more than thirty years was lying to her. Even though a huge part of Rachel's life had been—and still was—a lie, she couldn't fathom her friend lying to her for such a trivial purpose. Yet here you are trying to think up a lie to tell her.

Rachel thought about something she was taught as a child—lies needed to be for very good reasons...like protecting people, and sometimes also for protecting yourself from things that had no name. She shook off the chill it gave her and walked over to the sink to empty what remained in the cup and let her thoughts run a little deeper.

Tomorrow night—whether she wanted it or not—she would be on a double date with two of her dearest and sneakiest friends, and Derek—a man she did not know. To Rachel, Derek was just Ken's childhood friend, much like she was to Jan. Jan had mentioned that Derek had moved back to Atlanta after his wife's death. She had described him to Rachel over lunch one day as—very handsome, in damn good shape, and quite possibly one of the nicest men she knew.

I'm probably being paranoid I'm sure it is just a casual thing...just to meet each other. The notion brought her a small feeling of relief as she stood by her kitchen window, engrossed in the daily torture games going outside.

The neighbor's cat was being repeatedly pecked on his hindquarters by a blue jay. The sight reminded Rachel of those birds from that horror movie, and also of her own nightmares. She had a lot of experience with bad dreams—they had consumed many of her nights and early mornings as far back as her mind could remember.

"Mom used to call those birds cat-birds I think...because the vile things spent a great deal of time terrorizing the cat," she whispered to herself as she leaned on the counter again.

Of course it wasn't like my mother's damned, hateful cat didn't deserve every bit of grief those birds gave him, she thought as she straightened up and went over to put away her cup.

She couldn't help but pity the creature being bullied outside now. Poor old Mr. Bumpkis—such an odd name for a cat—never bothered those birds, or anything else in his long life.

"I hate birds...but I guess it's the law of the jungle, Mr. Bumpkis," she said to her kitchen window as though the cat might hear her and nod in agreement. "Kill or be killed...isn't that what they say?"

She finally turned from the treacherous game being played outside, and reached for her phone to call Jan. She wanted to at least try and get out of the hole she felt Jan had so methodically dug for her. Before she got to the phone though, it started to ring. It was blaring out a sappy love song by some annoying blonde pop star Rachel liked about as much as she did the birds.

"Good Lord...I meant to change that," she grimaced as soon as the nauseatingly sweet lyrics started.

Jan had set it as her personal ring tone as a joke last week while they watched a musical talent show. The pair had been tying up some loose ends and last minute details for the wedding. A wedding that Rachel knew would be—the be-all-end-all of weddings.

Both Jan and Ken were successful attorneys who had met five years ago on a cruise and instantly, but quite unexpectedly fell in love. Rachel remembered Jan telling her about it on more than one occasion.

"It was like something literally threw us in each other's paths as we were exiting the ship on the last day of the cruise," Jan would always say.

Ken claimed that it was as if an invisible foot had come out of nowhere and tripped him right onto the deck in front of Jan. He also said that oddly, an inner voice unlike his own had told him exactly what to say to win her over. From that moment on, there wasn't a day that passed that the two had not been in communication with one another. Within a year the two had become engaged. Even though they had to endure a long distance relationship for about three years, they made it work somehow.

Jan had been saving for years for her dream wedding and she was getting it—no matter what. All of the finishing touches for the wedding, which Rachel had nicknamed The Most Extravagant Affair Ever, had to be completed within the next few months.

The thought of it all made Rachel long for winter to come, because by then the whole shebang would be done and over with, and she could settle back into her life—party of one.

The annoying ring tone went off for a good twenty seconds before Rachel finally succumbed and answered in a voice that was anything but welcoming.

"Good morning to you too sunshine...who ruffled your feathers this morning?" Jan said in a sweet, almost mocking voice. "Or should I ask who hid your coffee maker? You know you wouldn't be so grumpy if you would eat a bagel sometimes or even a yogurt. You are getting too old to be skipping breakfast...besides you are not fat, I'm so sick of hearing that, but I know who put that junk in your head, now don't I?"

Rachel had an overwhelming urge to yell into the phone and end Jan's longwinded lecture.

I'm thirty-nine! I'm six months younger than you, and you aren't the one whose husband drilled your twenty extra pounds into your head like a giant screw every day for the last ten years of your marriage! However, she wasn't up for the fight this early in the morning, especially not after the dream.

Jan had turned forty—two weeks earlier and always took every opportunity to let Rachel know that she was the elder in the friendship. Rachel often thought she did it to the point that she portrayed herself as an old mother hen. The woman took every opportunity she could to let Rachel know that she thought she was entirely wrong when it came to her hang ups about her weight.

As far as Janine Johnson was concerned, her best friend had the body of a voluptuous fifties sex symbol. She envied Rachel's curves for many years, especially on the lake house weekends that involved the two lounging by the cool water in swimsuits. Jan was tall and slender, standing a little over six-foot tall, and weighing not one ounce over one-hundred- twenty pounds soaking wet.

Rachel, on the other hand, had the kind of curves that men love to get lost in while they travel their way down to the hills and valleys that anxiously await. However, she had always thought her five-foot-nine, one-hundred-fifty pound frame was too much to be adored. Jan—and many other people—would beg to differ.

Rachel hesitated for a minute before replying to her friend's question.

"I guess that would be you...for forcing me into this dinner thing."

She awaited the hellacious lecture that she knew was about to commence as soon as what she had said registered with Jan.

Her longtime gal pal didn't disappoint her in the least. She launched into a five minute lecture about friendship, and all of the rules and regulations that go along with it. It put all of the other rants that Jan had delivered throughout their lives on the subject to shame. After a few minutes, the fun fest finally subsided, or at least dulled a little. Rachel was thankful it hadn't lasted longer, because she wasn't sure she had very much ass left to be chewed.

"Rachel," Jan said, in her usual it's time for me to turn on my charm now voice. "Honey, it's been almost three years since the divorce...you have to try to find some kind of happiness sooner or later you know. It's just a get together...I swear. You two need to meet, and now is as good a time as any. Besides, he is a great guy and I know you will like him. I really think the two of you will become great friends, and that's all I'm hoping for here. This is seriously not a set up. You two are going to be seeing a lot of one another over the next few months; with the rehearsing and all for the reception dance I have planned. I mean, after all you are my maid-of-honor and Derek is Ken's best man. You both need to meet...just to break the ice a little."

Jan was the kind of woman who was more than okay with the fact that she had just lied to her best friend about her intentions with Derek Williamson. She had always felt that it was okay to lie when it served a good purpose. As far as Jan was concerned, playing matchmaker seemed like a good reason to lie. She truly believed that Rachel and Derek would be great together. Even if the two ended up just being friends, they were so much alike in so many ways that they absolutely needed this—even if neither of them realized it or wanted it.

Rachel noticed something about Jan's tirade. Jan had used the word seriously instead of honestly when defending her intentions. Jan may have been a master lie detector, but Rachel was a master of words, and knew when people used them to mask things. She decided to let it pass.

Realizing that she needed to steer the conversation elsewhere, Rachel thought of the wedding reception. She thought hard before deciding to press her luck with the bossy bride-to-be.

"About those dance lessons..." Rachel asked cautiously, "I mean seriously, do we all really have to participate in the dance routine thing at the reception? Wouldn't it be better if it were just the bride and groom?"

Her question was answered by a long and unsettling silence. Rachel had a feeling that she was about to lose the rest of what was left of her ass after all. However, Jan surprised her when she began to speak in an unusually calm voice.

A funny thought crossed Rachel's mind—I bet she was counting to ten, or maybe even twenty.

"Rachel, you know that Ken and I had a long distance relationship for almost three years before he was able to leave his old firm in Houston and move back here...and you know it was the hardest years of our lives."

Your words are sounding like a sappy greeting card commercial now, Rachel thought as she leaned over the kitchen counter. She was still staring out the window at the same show and wondering—why the hell doesn't that cat run onto the porch?

Jan continued the commercial a little longer.

"The song that we will all dance to symbolizes the struggles that Ken and I went through."

Hold on a minute while I get out my tiny violin, Rachel thought, smiling as this occurred to her.

"So yes, all of my wedding party will definitely be participating in the dance at the reception. It will be awesome...everyone will love it!" Jan beamed.

What Rachel wanted to be talking about with her best friend was the dream, but she knew it would be a bad idea. Jan had always been unsettled by the nightmares. Rachel understood why, but it was difficult not to have someone to confide in. It's pretty lousy that your best friend can't grasp what is part of your very existence. It was the same with Mike when we were together.

She was leaning on the counter, spinning a gold ring like a top as those thoughts occurred to her. She couldn't help but yawn quietly as Jan babbled on. The ring she was spinning to entertain herself through the humdrum love story being told was her former wedding band. The old Freda Payne song Band of Gold was playing in her mind. She knew she should have thrown the damned thing away a long time ago, but she kept it for occasions like this. When she needed something to toy with and keep her mind off of what was irritating the piss out of her at the time—just like her friend was.

Oh how I would love to be able to say that a long distance relationship was the hardest freaking thing I ever had to muck my way through. You have no clue Jan...what it's like to go through things that are truly painful in life. She decided, as usual, not to express most of her thoughts out loud for good reason.

"Alright Jan I get it," Rachel interjected. "I was just making sure that you were absolutely positive you wanted my two left feet in there as well."

Jan started up once again, reminding her that the dance classes would begin soon, and she could improve on her dance skills then.

Rachel thought of something else she had to practice—her piano playing. It had taken Ken a couple weeks and a lot of begging to convince Rachel to play at their reception. He wanted it to be a big surprise for his bride. It was only when he reminded Rachel that she and Jan had met through piano lessons when they were girls, and how much he knew it would mean to his bride-to-be, that Rachel gave in to his request.

She had not played since she was seventeen, but it all came back to her quickly the first time she sat down at the piano at The Keys. That was a local karaoke lounge they frequented every third Friday of the month with a group of co-workers from Jan's law firm. Rachel seldom tagged along; however, on one occasion she rediscovered her love for playing during a contest they had at the place. It had taken several strong mixed drinks to get her up on stage with the group for a song that won them the contest. The prize had been up to four free drinks per visit for six months for the five people that participated in the winning group. Rachel gave her voucher to one of the regulars, since she knew she would rarely use it. The benefit from her trip to the bar was that two months later it encouraged her to buy her own piano. She bought it as a gift to herself for completing her seventeenth novel "The Cutting Edge", the second to the last in the "Stone Mountain Murder" series

She was still spinning the ring, listening to Jan ramble on, but only hearing some parts of what she was saying.

"Rachel, are you there?"

Rachel lied and told her she was still there with her—hanging on every word, as Jan continued.

"Listen, everything is going to go great. You and Derek will meet tomorrow night and I know you two will hit it off, okay? He is going to call you later just to break the ice a little, you know. So be expecting his call."

Jan was talking to her as if she were a ten year old, who needed specific instructions on the most simplistic of tasks. It was one of those things that Jan did on occasion that Rachel detested.

"I will Jan," Rachel responded.

As Jan was starting in on her again, Rachel had already had her fill of the conversation, and politely let her know it.

"Enough Jan, I got it all. I understand. I'm not a child so...enough with all this, okay?"

Jan didn't push anymore, she knew she had pushed Rachel far enough.

"Listen, love, I gotta go," Jan said abruptly, "My doorbell is ringing...love you...bye!"

"You too," Rachel said, not meaning it so much at the moment.

She pushed hard on the little red phone symbol on her cell, tossed it onto the counter, got up and put the ring in the drawer of her kitchen cabinet.

Lord please don't let him call. I promise my next book will be something about puppies and kittens—just please do me this huge favor and please don't let him call, Rachel recited looking upward in the direction of her ceiling.

Rachel Adams had every reason to be less than eager when it came to meeting men. She had been the victim in a train wreck of a martial breakup, and was in no hurry at all to get back into the dating scene. She held a serious relationship with only one man in her lifetime—and she married him. She stayed married to him for fifteen years until he and a very close friend of hers found it necessary to start sleeping together. Being Mrs. Michael Barnes was all she had ever known up until the day she caught them having lunch together in a cozy little restaurant in a neighboring town just outside of Atlanta.

I wasn't even supposed to be in that stupid place. Maybe if I hadn't been all this might not have ever happened. Maybe it would have just played itself out, and one of them would have grown tired of the other and ended it. Stop with the maybes and stop being an idiot! When are you ever going to stop being so stupid about all of this? You are smarter than this...you are an accomplished writer and you have more brains in your thick head than you give yourself credit for!

This was the sort of internal pep talk Rachel gave herself on a weekly basis. She quietly cursed herself for wasting so much of her morning revisiting bad memories.

Suddenly, there was a quick knock at the door that she recognized as the package delivery guy's knock. He was picking up a small shipment of some of her signed copies of books that she was shipping out to some of her dedicated readers who had ordered through an online site. Rachel had been thankful for those readers that gobbled up the macabre stories she wrote about.

She had been trying to finish her third and final book in a series about a serial killer that stalked and gruesomely murdered young men in a small southern town. The killer in her books had a rather unusual taste for human skin, and in the books Rachel spared no details of how he went about obtaining it.

The talent to write about gruesome things was something that Rachel had always accredited to her life in general. Not many women could say they had lost their closest of loved ones all by the age of twenty-one. Her father had finally succeeded at killing himself two months after her seventeenth birthday. Her brother had died a horrific death two days before he turned twenty. Then there was her mother—who lost her mind as a result of all the carnage and had to be institutionalized. She was only forty-four when Rachel had to commit her. She died only a few months later. Something that Rachel blamed herself for—she always had, and probably always would. There was also, of course, that nightmare of an ex-husband and everything he had done to her.

You're cursed, Rachel would sometimes tell herself late at night while writing on her laptop. It was then, in the quiet stillness of night that she felt the most haunted. The ghosts were harmless—it was the other things that lurked in the dark recesses of her mind that were the true threat. Between the two, she preferred the real ghosts, because they always stayed put. The others; however, always seemed to follow her into her dreams, and it was those unnamable things that terrified her the most.

As she finished up with the delivery, her cell phone rang. She panicked for a second—thinking it was him calling. To her relief, it was her publisher. She knew what the call was about. She had been running about a month behind on her latest and final book in the hacker series. She had hit a wall with the ending for a couple weeks now. It wasn't writer's block she had struggled with—it was her indecisiveness between two excellent endings. She wanted to wrap up the series and leave her readers satisfied, while also leaving them wanting more. Rachel's belief was that an author's rule of thumb should be to never totally close the door on a story. Always leave it cracked a little—just in case most of your readers were lifers. There were always readers that pleaded for either a sequel or better yet, a spinoff.

When she answered her cell she was treated to a colossal banter of curse words.

"Hello?" Rachel shouted over the ruckus.

"Oh...I'm sorry baby girl. I was involved in an altercation with the copying machine," the caller informed her in a voice brimming with enthusiasm. "It's Robert with J&J just reminding you of that deadline, sweetie."

Robert was the assistant to the editor with J&J publishing. He was also flamboyantly gay and made no apologies about it to anyone. Rachel adored him because he had the kind of off-the-wall sense of humor that she possessed also. Robert had brightened many of her darkest days.

One of those times came directly after she had been the victim of a huge fight on the phone with Mike over trivial things concerning the division of items bought during their marriage. Throughout the whole conversation, Mike had made it a point to inflict as much pain as the evil man's soul could. Rachel often thought that Mike had perfected the art of being a complete and total ass. By the time the hour long argument had ended, Rachel was lying curled up on her sofa crying. It had become something of a routine for her every time she had a conversation with Mike following their separation. He had been an awful person to be married to and even worse to be estranged from.

Her cell phone had rang again shortly after she had hung up with Mike that day years before. She had answered it screaming Leave me alone Mike you can have it all for all I care!

The voice on the other end instantly corrected her.

"Oh, baby girl, this isn't that jackass of an ex-husband of yours...it's me...your one and only Robert calling you!"

He had given her a much needed laugh, and she was more than grateful for the distraction his call had brought her.

Rachel's reflections on why she loved Robert were interrupted when he reminded her she had to talk to his boss immediately about the deadline. Her final book in the series was in huge demand from the public, and was already on fire in paperback pre-orders. Robert informed her that he was placing her on hold, which she loathed.

After about ten minutes, Mr. Johnson came on the line and commenced to lecturing her on her indecisiveness. Rachel assured the eccentric old man that she would have it transferred to his firm no later than Saturday for final editing. After making her usual promises and thank-you's, she hung up her cell, cursing her own procrastination.

She had just sat down at her computer to write the ending to her baby when her phone rang once again.

"Please, Lord...please don't let it be him," she prayed out loud as she picked up the phone from her kitchen table—she looked at the screen of her cell. After the unfamiliar number on screen confirmed her worst fears, she looked up in the direction of the ceiling once again.

"Really?" she asked, while directing her eyes upward, in a tone that was both disappointed and curious. Rachel pushed the answer button hard.

"Hello?"

"Rachel?" His voice was deep and sensual. There was a subtle hint of a southern accent to it—she instantly felt warm and peaceful inside. It was a feeling of coming home finally, it was the best way she could describe it to herself.

"Hi, it's Derek".

This was the first time she heard the voice that belonged to the man that would change her, and the way she felt about herself and her life. He would be the man that would eventually pick up all the pieces of her that had broken off long ago, and carefully put them back where they belonged.

# CHAPTER TWO

Derek Williamson had always believed that matchmaking amongst friends was a bad idea—plain and simple. He always feared that if the relationship went downhill, then so could the relationship with the friends that set it up. His best friend Ken had assured him numerous times that the dinner was just a casual get together between friends. It was an opportunity for them to get to know one another before the wedding—nothing more. Derek didn't buy it for a minute, and it bothered him that Ken would do something like this. It made him feel as if he were some kind of pity case.

He couldn't recall any of his friends who had ever experienced a successful blind date. If Kenneth Carter had not been his best friend since third grade, he would have refused without a doubt. However, the two were more like brothers, so reluctantly Derek had agreed to Ken's request. Now he was going out to dinner tomorrow night with the three of them: Ken, his bride-to-be Jan, and Rachel—Jan's maid-of-honor. Ken had tried several times to convince Derek that all he was hoping for was that he and Rachel would become fast friends because they had so much in common. That of course was a lie, but not the kind Ken thought he should feel bad about. Ken had pitched this to him one last time as they spoke on the phone one afternoon, just a few days before the planned double date.

One thing that Ken did not feel the need to inform Derek of during their conversations was that the woman he was meeting was, in fact, Caucasian—not African-American as Derek himself was. Derek didn't feel right asking about her ethnicity. He thought it would sound presumptuous and paranoid, but something deep inside his mind was pushing him to anyway. While he knew what that something was, he resisted the urge for now. Another thing that almost convinced Derek of their differences in skin color; was the artful way Ken had of changing the subject if Derek started to ask too many questions about her.

"Maybe I'm wrong," he whispered to himself, while looking at his phone on the counter. He had been staring at her name on the screen that he had already assigned to her number.

I swear if she turns out to be someone who owns twenty-five cats I'm going to hurt that man, Derek thought.

That would have been much more of a problem if he were interested in her more than her race, even though it too was an issue for personal reasons. Derek could only hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

Despite his apprehensions, he couldn't help but be curious about her. He had been told she was a successful writer, who had suffered through a horrible betrayal of some kind at the hands of her ex-husband and a close friend. Derek assumed Ken had meant an affair. He knew though that his friend, being the type of guy he was, would prefer to not discuss too much of the woman's private business. Ken made a living keeping things like that confidential, so he would let that be Rachel's choice if it ever came to it.

Derek hoped his friend's fiancée had paid his personal life the same respect, but he didn't count on it with Jan. At thirty-nine, he had become a widower. He had an intense hatred for that label. It had been almost three years since his wife's death, and he had shared the gruesome details of it with only a few people, Ken being one of them. It was just too painful to discuss it with others.

To burn to death had to be one of the worst ways to die—it was a thought that haunted Derek still.

He would often lie awake at night and question why she deserved to go out that way, but knew it would remain an unanswered question for the rest of his lifetime. He also knew that well over two years was more than enough time to wait, but making his heart understand that was something that had been very difficult.

"Maybe it is only a friendly get together and nothing else. What the hell do I have to lose?" Derek asked himself as he picked up his cell off the counter in his office and dialed her number.

After hanging up the phone from their brief conversation, Derek knew that this woman was, if nothing else, a mystery. She had seemed a bit agitated when she answered her phone, which left Derek wondering if she was also a semi-willing participant in this plot.

She had a raspy, sexy kind of voice that left Derek on the fence about her ethnicity. She also had a hint of southern country about her, which only made him even more unsure.

He decided to perhaps send Ken a text message, which he figured would go over better than just asking the woman what color her skin happened to be. It wasn't entirely a deal breaker for Derek. Of course he would still go, but he knew at least if she were a white woman that he didn't have to worry about it being a set up or worry about whether or not there would be other dates.

Derek had little interest at all in an interracial relationship—he had been in one once, and it ended horribly. He was forced to break the heart of a girl that he loved. It was in his early college years—a time when almost all college kids experiment with something that they know their parents will disapprove of.

Derek's parents definitely did not approve of Carla. He could still remember his father's words the day he surprised Derek in his dorm, and got a surprise of his own. The old man had walked in on Derek and his young, Native American girlfriend while they slept in one Saturday morning.

After his father politely asked his girlfriend to leave them alone—the religiously judgmental man proceeded to go on a rampage.

"I will take away your car, your money that I send you weekly, and I will refuse to pay another penny for your education boy, if you don't end this today!"

After many heated words and tears, Derek reluctantly agreed to the bitter old man's demands. He did, however, let his father know just how wrong he thought he was for his reaction and his feelings about the whole ordeal.

Looking back at the memory he could still hear the words that she had said to him as he explained his situation to her.

You are no better than your prejudiced father! Derek remembered how deep those words cut into him. They were the last words she ever spoke to him.

Derek couldn't make a young girl, who had fallen in love for the first time, understand that his education, and his father's support through it was what he needed more than anything—or anyone—at that time in his life. He never wanted to hurt someone that way again. He had been attracted to women of other races in his life after college. To him, the traits of a woman that attracted him had no color attached to them—it was all about who she was on the inside for Derek.

His late wife, Claire, was actually biracial, but Derek's father never knew that. He died several years before Derek met her. Her mother had lived in South Korea when she met and fell in love with Claire's father, who was a black man from Mississippi fighting in the war. To everyone who didn't know this, Claire was a beautiful, black woman who had only inherited her mother's light brown, amber-colored eyes and her wavy hair. By the time Derek found out of her true blood lines, they had been dating for three months. He was madly in love with her by that time, so the promises he had once made to his father paled in comparison to his love for Claire. Had he known before ever dating her of her heritage, he probably would not have ever asked her out. All because of some warped sense of loyalty he felt to his father, and the promise he had made to the old man on his death bed.

Although Derek had no immediate desire for an interracial relationship, a friendship was something he was more than open to.

I'm the best man...she's the maid of honor in the wedding of our best friends and that is it...nothing more, except maybe friendship. Finally, after too much thinking and worrying about it all, Derek decided it was time for some stress relief. He felt a trip to the gym was in order. Judging from her shortness on the phone, he hoped maybe she wouldn't even show up for the dinner tomorrow night.

"As if I'd ever be that lucky," he murmured as he climbed into his SUV and headed to the gym. As he drove, his thoughts wondered, as they always did. He thought about Claire, the accident, and why she had been where she was when it happened. These questions had haunted him so often, he didn't know that in the near future he would find out the answers to them and when he did it would change everything.

# CHAPTER THREE

After her brief phone conversation with Derek, Rachel relaxed with a glass of wine after a rather emotionally draining day. She decided it was time to tackle the final chapter of her book.

"May as well put this baby to bed," she told herself.

It was something she always said when she was in the final phases of a book. As she flipped open her laptop, she had a feeling of deja vu come over her and suddenly her thoughts took her back to the house she had shared with Mike years ago.

Then:

She was tapping away on her keyboard, the way she had done most nights while he slept upstairs. The house was quiet and dark. She could see every corner of that house as she recalled the scene. She could hear Mike's faint snoring traveling down the stairs as she typed. She got up, stretched, and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. As she turned, she was startled by Mike standing in the doorway.

"Are you coming to bed soon?" he asked in a sleepy voice, walking toward her.

"Why?" Rachel asked in her best seductive voice, "Do you want to give a shot at some baby-making?"

Her attempt at romance was quickly brushed off by her sleepy husband.

"No, I just wanted a drink of water Rach that's all, I have an early morning meeting my dear."

Mike Barnes had all the skills of a cheating husband. He no longer had any interest in his wife, especially in the bedroom. He knew to keep the conversations short and sweet, but not too unfeeling. He also knew that the affair he was involved in at the time would pass—because they always did. His affairs always began for no apparent reason other than the fact that Michael Barnes was a cheater, like his father before him and his before him.

It was in the blood, he would always tell himself, as if that was some kind of excuse or genetic disorder that made it alright. The affair he was having at the time had been going on for ten months. It was with a leggy red head that had been a client a year earlier. He was beginning to tire of her demanding ways though—it was getting a bit too complicated for Mike. His whore was becoming more like the bitch he had married.

Rachel had her perks though. She wasn't hard on the eyes, even though he did think she could stand to drop a few pounds, and he let her know it often. He liked thin women, and although Rachel had never been one, her striking looks made that easy to live with. That, along with the fact that she had inherited a lot of money from the deaths of various family members over the years made it a breeze for Mike to marry her. She was also loyal to a fault and so willing to do almost anything it took to make him happy, in and out of the bedroom.

He stayed with her for two reasons—she was dedicated to everything she did and everyone she loved. However the main reason was her bank account that he knew would serve him well if he ever decided to retire young. He also knew that Rachel's money would come in handy if, God forbid, he were to ever be disbarred. It was a good possibility if any of his illegal activities ever surfaced. Rachel had plenty of money, and that was all that mattered to him as far as she was concerned.

Mike didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the details of Rachel's life, but he was captivated by the dollar signs that were attached to her. The money had helped put him through law school, after all. Now though, in their tenth year of marriage, even her money wasn't enough to hold him to her. He knew that soon he would leave her, but not until he found a backup bitch with a better bank account.

As she stood there in the dim light of the kitchen, he did have to admit to himself that she was still as pretty as the day he met her. She never seemed to age the way most of his colleagues wives had.

He knew that if Rachel would drop that little bit of extra weight, he would take her up on her offers more often. Just not the baby-making part. That had been fixed years ago, but she would likely never figure that out. She wasn't aware that there was no way she would ever have a child, unless she decided to start playing his games. He had no intentions of making a baby with her—or anyone else for that matter. So when Rachel decided she wanted to start trying, he immediately had a vasectomy. He knew it was an awful thing to do, but doing awful things was so easy for him.

Mike had no problem with being a horrible husband as long as it benefited him. He was totally content with being this way, but to the world—and especially to his wife—he always made sure to disguise himself. It was imperative that he be perceived as a decent guy, and not the huge jerk that he really was. He had always been very successful at his deceit, and had perfected the dark art of lying about everything.

Mike noticed a look of bewilderment on Rachel's perfectly sculpted face. Throw her a bone his inner voice cautioned.

"Listen, sweet woman, we will do something this weekend I promise. I know my schedule has been grueling lately and especially hard on you my dear, I swear, I will make it up to you."

Mike had always been good at pacifying his wife with empty promises. When he had finished feeding his wife some of his best lies, he kissed her full pink lips and went back to bed.

Rachel sat back down at the kitchen counter which she called her desk, and watched her husband walk back up the stairs. She had the same terrifying thought that she had many times before.

I'm not so sure he really wants a child...I knew we should have never waited so long to start trying. She tried to think more realistically about the situation, but her heart began to sink. He would tell me right...he wouldn't just keep things like that from me would he?

Now:

Rachel realized that she needed to get her mind out of that place quickly before it got the best of her. She wasn't even aware that she had started to cry a little as she remembered some of the horrible lies she had lived through with Mike.

He damaged you beyond repair, you know. Her inner voice assured her. You will never trust in another man again...he took that all away from you.

She pushed it all out of her mind, the same way she had done for the past few years, and began to write. The words flowed just as they always did. Two hours had passed on the clock when she finally looked up. In a bittersweet moment, she typed the last line in the final book of the series.

She got up, stretched, and went to the refrigerator. Rachel looked inside at the near empty contents and pulled out her bottle of Italian wine. It was what she did at the end of every book. Like some writers, she knew she had a thing—a celebration of sorts that came after finishing their work. Rachel's was to consume the entire contents of a sweet, Italian red wine. She would drink it by the small pool that accented her modest back yard.

While she sat by the pool, her thoughts raced ahead to the dinner tomorrow night. She knew in her heart that it was indeed a fix up of sorts—some crazy attempt Jan and Ken were making at matching up their two close friends. She knew they had some small hope that there may be a spark that just might ignite. As she sipped her wine Rachel kept asking herself one question. "Why Jan would think of her as a good candidate to fix this poor guy up with?"

After all, Jan knew her past better than anyone, at least as much of it as she would ever let Rachel tell her.

"I could never tell her about my true life any more than I ever could Mike," she said to herself as she dipped her toes in the water, and felt that familiar pain of resentment towards them both.

She and Jan had grown up together, from the age of seven until Jan moved away with her family when they were juniors in high school. That was the summer Rachel's father killed himself. Even though she still had her brother Josh, it had been a time when she needed her best friend more than anything. Jan, however, was hundreds of miles away. Of course, Rachel also had her mother and grandmother at the time of her father's death—but having Jan with her was what she had needed.

It was the early eighties, and computers hadn't quite made communicating cheap and easy yet. Rachel didn't even have long distance on the land line due to her father's penny pinching. Writing a letter was the only way she had of letting her best friend know the pain she was going through at the time. Exactly one week and six days later her best friend and her mother were knocking at the front door of the old house Rachel grew up in. They spent three weeks with Rachel and her family, helping them in every way possible.

Tears welled up in Rachel's eyes remembering her friend's selfless act of love and dedication back then. She knew it was one of the reasons why she would do just about anything Jan asked of her—even the things she didn't want to do. To Rachel, Jan was more like her sister than her friend. She always had been, even though she had refused to understand the very thing that was a part of Rachel. It is for this reason that she would gladly do as her friend requested and show up for this thing tomorrow night and would enjoy it—even if she didn't want to.

As she finished the last of her wine, her thoughts went back to the time when Jan had called her, ecstatic with joy, telling her that she was moving back to Atlanta to practice law at a firm in the downtown district.

"I think if Jan had never moved away...I would have never become close friends with Joanna," Rachel speculated. "She would have never had the chance to ask Mike to dinner when I was out of town that weekend."

Once again Rachel became angry with herself and how she continued to think what if when it came to her ex-husband's affair with her good friend. The friend that he fell in love with—the friend he married two months after their divorce was final. Rachel had no idea at that time how many women her ex-husband had been involved with throughout their marriage, but assumed from his manner during the marriage that there were more.

She finished her last glass of wine, got up, and walked over to the patio table and grabbed her phone. Upon picking it up to dial Robert's private number, she was greeted with a busy signal.

Just then, she was startled by a shadow off to her left. She spun around ready to scream when she realized it was Jasper. The boxer that Mike had bought her the Christmas before they divorced. The dog was the nicest thing Mike had ever done for her. Jasper was loyal, sweet, and an extremely good watchdog. He insisted on being a backyard pooch during the day, but happily agreed to sleep in the huge comfy dog bed in the laundry room at night, just for his owner's protection.

"Come here you!" Rachel exclaimed, both relieved and excited to see the only child that her failed marriage had produced for her.

That thought always brought on a heavy sadness that left her feeling spent. She recalled the moment that Joanna, taking great pleasure in delivering such a crushing blow, told her that her ex-husband had never wanted to have a child with her.

Unwanted memories invaded Rachel's mind again. You know he had a vasectomy five years after the two of you married? Joanna had spat those words out like fire at Rachel in a heated argument between the two over household items. He told me he had never wanted children, and he especially didn't want them with you!

"I just love my strolls down memory lane," Rachel said to Jasper while scratching the top of his head as she walked him inside for the night. The dog cocked his head as if he understood her every word.

That night she had a dream that Mike was standing over her as she slept in a bed that was not her own. She was wearing a white gown. He was muttering words at her that she did not understand—or maybe could not comprehend. She couldn't move in the dream. She just laid there watching his lips move but not knowing a single word he said. His face became distorted and inhuman, and as he spewed out hate, he knelt over her—reached into her chest, and pulled out her heart. Rachel began to sob uncontrollably in her dream. It wasn't because of the pain or the fear of what had happened: it was because when she looked at her heart, it turned to ice and shattered into a million pieces.

Rachel rejoined the waking world in a cold sweat, sobbing quietly.

"That's exactly what he turned your heart into...ice and then he shattered it so you could never find all the pieces again," she said to herself.

She didn't sleep the rest of the night, but as usual she was used to it. Michael Barnes was just one of the many nightmares of Rachel's past that haunted her—both in her dreams, and in reality.

The next morning her phone rang at around 9:30 AM. It was Robert, confirming that she would be sending in the final draft for the last book in the series. She told him she had tried him the night before, and that she had submitted it at around 6:00 AM that morning. As she told him this, Robert squealed with delight.

Rachel couldn't help but laugh internally and think—He sounds like a kid who just got his first bike, or maybe first video game. Do kids even ride bikes anymore?

Robert was also surprised by the fact that she was actually up at such an early hour, and found it necessary to question her about it.

"Rough night?"

"Couldn't sleep...bad dreams...old ghosts and all that wonderful stuff that consumes my life," she told him in a sleepy voice.

Robert was only with her in part; he was too eager to hang up the phone so he could download her book and sneak a peek. He made a polite but quick exit out of the conversation.

"We will talk to you regarding payment no later than Tuesday...bye honey!"

He hung up before Rachel could ask if the boss was in—doesn't matter anyway; he never is.

The thought of taking a nap beckoned, but Rachel knew that she really needed to go shopping instead. She needed something to wear to dinner later. Having not done any real clothes shopping in years, she was reluctant to head downtown. She thought about calling Jan. Making a day of it would at least make the experience a little more bearable.

By three in the afternoon, Rachel was fast asleep on her sofa. She had ended up having to go it alone on the dress shopping trip, due to Jan's busy schedule for the day.

While she slept, she had another dream. In the dream she was with a man that she did not know. They were in a park somewhere, and Rachel and the man were both swinging a child on a swing. In the dream, Rachel felt so much love from this unknown man; however, when she turned to face him everything went dark and the man and the child were gone. She looked off into the distance and that's when she saw her.

The woman was sitting on a bed, the same way she had sat at the foot of Rachel's bed when she was young. As Rachel walked to her the woman reached out her arms, convincing Rachel to come to her. Just as Rachel reached the woman in the dream, she jolted wide awake on her couch, instantly realizing she had slept much longer than she meant to. For a moment, she could have sworn the woman followed her out of her dream and was sitting on the end out her couch—watching her. After rubbing her eyes vigorously, she concluded it was just her groggy, dazed imagination.

They never followed me—they always stayed there.

# CHAPTER FOUR

Two hours had passed since Rachel awoke from her dream.

Fifteen miles away Derek sat down on the sofa in his one bedroom condo. It was the sofa that his wife had specially made for his man cave in the home they had shared in Savannah years ago. As he sat there—his long, muscular legs outstretched across the coffee table—he gazed down at the picture of his long dead wife. It was the only picture he had kept of her. He had shipped the rest to her sister in Washington since she was Claire's closest living relative, with the exception of a few distant aunts and uncles.

He spoke to the picture as if he expected an actual reply. She had left him way too suddenly, on a sunny October day. The first question he would usually ask the photograph was why she was in the place she was at the time of the accident. He would look into her eyes—the eyes that use to hypnotize him with their beauty—and tears would almost always begin to well in his own eyes. He traced his finger along the jawline of the face that he once held in his hands.

Her broad smile in this particular photo always reminded him of a child who was holding a puppy or a kitten for the very first time. Derek was a veterinarian. He had seen that look many times in his life and it never got old for him.

"Why Claire...why didn't you leave when you were supposed to?" He inquired to her image. "What was so damned important for you to do, that made you to get on the road two hours later than you should have?"

He always replayed the same words in his mind that she had spoken to him when she had called him, just minutes before she died.

"I'm running behind Derek...it's not life or death. I had something else that came up unexpectedly, nothing important, really," she promised him. "Just something I felt I had to do. I will tell you all about it when I get home."

Her words trailed off for a second before she continued.

"Honey let me call you back...love you...talk to—"

The phone went silent. That was the last time he heard his wife's voice.

Derek thought that maybe it would be best for him to call Ken and cancel, but just as he was about to do it, his cell phone rang—it was Ken. He didn't give Derek the chance.

"I'm turning onto your street, I thought that we could ride together in case one of us happens to drink too much." Ken said. Derek knew if that happened which one of them it would be. Ken seemed to be doing a lot more drinking these days. Derek attributed it to wedding jitters because Ken had never been much of a drinker before all this, at least not that Derek could recall.

"I will be out in a minute," said Derek, feeling a little annoyed at being caught off guard.

He felt even more frustrated for procrastinating and not calling Ken earlier. He stood up and put the picture back into the back compartment of his wallet, but before doing it, he kissed his pointer and middle finger and touched them to her smiling face.

"I love you...always will."

He tucked his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans and closed the door behind him. As he did this, he felt a cool breeze float past him. He could have sworn he smelled a hint of fragrance in it.

"Must be the damn weeds growing by the porch," he mumbled as he walked down the driveway to Ken's truck. When he climbed into the cab of the truck he immediately noticed the goofy grin that occupied his friend's face.

"What?" Derek asked.

"Nothing man...nothing at all," Ken chuckled.

Derek looked at his friend for a second and thought how much he still looked like the twelve year old boy he once knew—it was the goofy grin.

Ken looked over at Derek wishing he could read his thoughts. He decided to break the awkward silence.

"Derek, come on. You know that she would want you to go. I promise it's not a setup...at least not in the way that you are thinking, okay?"

Derek kept his eyes fixed straight ahead on the road in order not to catch the look he knew he was getting from Ken. It was a look that always defined the thought.

Poor guy...it must be awful to lose your wife in such a way. Will he ever get past it? He could nearly hear the words emanating from Ken's face. It always made Derek feel pitied. Even though he knew Ken meant well, it did more than just piss him off: it infuriated him. A few minutes passed and for the second time, Ken felt the need to explain the dinner date to Derek once again.

"Listen man," Ken started. "It's just a casual get together...just so you both can get to know one another before the wedding. Hell, maybe the two of you will even become friends. Besides, you need more friends. I worry sometimes that Jan and I are the only people you really know, and it's been...what, six months now since you moved back?"

Derek felt the need to remind him that he knew all of his staff as well as many colleagues in the business.

"Those aren't friends though Derek...they like you because they have to," Ken laughed.

Derek laughed along with him and promptly threw up the middle finger of his left hand in response.

Ken laughed a little harder now.

"Fuck you too...that's how you gonna treat a brother from another mother?" Ken tried to look offended.

"Yeah...you are my brother that's for sure man...from another mother who tried for years to give you away with no luck."

Ken looked at him, then at the road and then back again at Derek.

"Well that's just wrong...you know my mom only sent me to your house every day for supper."

Their laughter filled the cab of the truck. After a minute or so passed, Derek decided to do a little digging, since he had never gotten around to sending Ken the text message.

"Okay man, let's talk about Rachel. You've told me all about how great she is. You've even told me some of her life story, but I can't help but think that you are leaving something out."

Ken looked over at him, feigning a confused look.

"What are you talking about?"

Ken's voice was a bit higher pitched than usual, which didn't match his six-foot-three, two hundred-twenty-five pound body at all that moment.

"Ken, is she white?" Derek asked.

Ken laughed nervously as he replied.

"She's not white."

"Oh, really?" Derek said, not believing him the slightest bit.

"Well, her skin is actually more tan...sort of olive in complexion I guess you'd say."

He shot Derek a quick glance.

"I knew it!" Derek shouted as he looked at Ken in disbelief.

Ken started to get more defensive with his tone.

"Exactly what do you think I'm trying to do here Derek? It's freaking dinner that's all. I mean are you really that dead set against white women? What the hell did white women ever do to you?"

As he continued, Ken was past defensive and now shifting into angry. While he ranted about women of all races, Derek stared out his passenger window remembering that awful day with his father in his dorm room. Derek knew he had told Ken about the whole ordeal at least once; so why was it not clicking for him? Why was he not seeing that it had nothing to do with her being white? It had to do with him not wanting to rattle old skeletons, and that was pretty much it. As far as Derek was concerned, all colors the opposite sex were beautiful, mysterious beings that possessed abilities that men couldn't begin to completely understand. His reservations were not solely based on her skin color.

One of Derek's biggest fears was hurting someone again because of his own hang-ups and apprehensions about dating outside of his race. He always thought it best to just steer clear of those situations and never chance causing that kind of pain to someone. He had never gotten over being responsible for the hurt he had caused his first love, because of the simple fact that she didn't fit the right description. He gathered his thoughts and turned to Ken to make sure his voice would be heard loud and clear.

"Ken...alright already. Enough about races and cultures, I'm still going to meet her. Just don't expect anything from all of this," he said with a solemn voice.

"I just—"

Ken started to say something, but he was immediately interrupted by Derek's insistence that he understand him, and get it through his head that this dinner would not result in what he was hoping for. Derek's words were sharp and direct—they left Ken feeling as if he had just been scolded like a kid for something he hadn't done yet.

"I've told you how I feel, and why I feel that way many times before. Just drop it," Derek said looking back out the window.

"Alright, I get it, loud and clear!" Ken said.

After several minutes of tense silence, Ken directed the conversation to less heated subjects like the game from the night before. The remainder of the drive was void of conversation on Derek's part, other than the occasional response to a question Ken asked. His mind was filled with mixed emotions about the women he had loved in his life, and the woman he was about to meet. For some reason that he couldn't understand, he felt as though he were about to meet someone he was meant to know. This left Derek feeling uncomfortable and confused. However, there was something he felt also, but it was something that he could not even begin to interpret at the time.

# CHAPTER FIVE

Rachel was running fifteen minutes late for her date, due to an afternoon nap that lasted much longer than she had intended.

"This has a weird storybook kind of feel to it," Rachel uttered as she drove erratically. Looking down at her speedometer, she could see she was breaking the speed limit by twelve miles per hour. She had already gotten two phone calls within the last ten minutes from Jan bitching at her for her tardiness.

"I swear I'm going to start telling you to be places twenty minutes before I actually need you there from now on!" Jan had been on the brink of yelling the words at her.

I really hope she is in the bathroom fussing at me like I'm a child, and not sitting in front of him doing it, Rachel thought.

After apologizing once again, Rachel promised she was two minutes away, even though it was more like five. She arrived at Gulliver's Bar and Grill at six fifteen, and thanked the heavens for finding a front row parking space.

As she hurried to the entrance of place, Rachel felt a sudden wave of nausea come over her. She had to stop and take a few deep breaths right there in the parking lot.

What in the world is wrong with you, it's just a casual dinner nothing more so stop, her panicking mind blared as she stepped inside the restaurant.

She turned the corner and headed back to the area where Jan had said they were waiting. She could see her friend waving to her—but she only saw Ken sitting across from her in the booth. Rachel was sure Derek had backed out of the whole thing or maybe left, just like she wanted to do. As she approached their table, Rachel was thinking of the many ways in which she would not let Jan live this down. After all she had given her absolute hell all for a man who hadn't even bothered to show up. Those thoughts were interrupted abruptly by that same deep sensuous voice she had heard on her phone yesterday coming from behind her.

"Sorry, I was at the bar ordering a drink," he said.

Startled, Rachel turned to meet the man who was not a date. She couldn't hide the look of surprise and confusion that instantly laid claim to her face. She was unaware at that time that she was looking at him this way—like he had just crawled out of an alien pod and was about to turn her into a quivering pool of goo at any moment.

"Rachel?" Derek asked, trying to break her hypnotized state.

She absolutely loved the way he said her name, like he was about to tell her some secret that no one else knew.

"Are you alright?"

She climbed out of that ravine of confusion as quickly as she had fallen into it.

"What...oh, I'm...sorry I was just," she sputtered. Her voice stuck in her throat like it was full of mud. Getting her words out seemed to be impossible, no matter how hard she tried. Finally, after what seemed like minutes she spoke again.

What she intended to say next was I thought that you had canceled, but what came out of her mouth was much more embarrassing than she could have anticipated.

"You're not white?"

As quickly as the words rolled off her tongue, she wished more than anything to magically reach out and grab them and shove them back in. She put a hand to her mouth like a child that had just said something really bad, and knew what fate awaited them.

Derek couldn't help but laugh from the look on her face.

She finally managed to speak again.

"Derek...I'm so sorry, that came out all wrong. I—"

Derek stopped her.

"It's alright, I guess you weren't told about that huh?" he said, shooting both Ken and Jan a look of disapproval for their deceit.

"Um...no, actually I wasn't...but I mean it doesn't make a difference so I don't know why the hell I said that," she laughed nervously. "Just surprised I guess."

She directed her eyes at Jan who was looking a bit uncomfortable herself at the moment.

"Well, have a seat you two," Jan said quietly—her voice sounding as if she were afraid of drawing attention to their table.

Rachel seated herself in the booth next to Jan just as the waiter arrived. His presence eased the tension at the table just long enough for Rachel to recover from her embarrassment. After the appetizers were ordered, Rachel excused herself to the ladies room and asked Jan to accompany her.

Once they were in the room Rachel checked the stalls as if they were about to light one up—they were all empty. She was glad because she didn't want anyone hearing the argument she was about to ignite.

"Just hold on, Rachel," Jan pleaded.

Rachel gestured at her to stop, and looked at her for a second or two before she spoke.

"Why, in God's name did it not occur to you to fill me in on that one small detail, Jan?"

Jan started to answer.

"I didn't think it would ma—"

Once again though she was stopped by her friend's words hammering into her.

"No, stop...I don't want some lame excuse here Jan. I just made a complete ass of myself out there to someone; who seems to be a nice guy! Why did you not feel the need to inform me that he is a different race from me? Not that it matters, it would have just been nice to know."

Being the talkative type, Jan once again tried to interject, but was cut short.

"No...wait before you answer that!"

Rachel looked at herself in the mirror for a second and then back at Jan.

"Did I really read too much into this? Is this really just a casual dinner to meet my counterpart for the wedding?"

Jan saw her chance to escape a severe tongue lashing and grabbed it. She put on an innocent face and proceeded to lie—saying that indeed it was all just a casual thing and nothing more. Jan did feel a little guilt over lying to her best friend this time, but she felt in her heart that it was for the best. She felt that neither of these two lonely souls needed to know yet what she and Ken were up to. All that she wanted was for the two of them to take the time to get to know one another, and realize just how much they had in common. She also hoped that in the process they just might discover much more, it was almost like something very important depended on this happening.

By the time the ladies arrived back to their corner booth, the appetizers had been served.

"Everything okay you two?" Ken asked, sounding a bit concerned.

He knew it was, because both of them had returned, but he still felt he had to ask for the purpose of being a good fiancé, if nothing else. While the women were in the ladies room, Ken had also been on the receiving end of a harsh reprimand, courtesy of Derek. It was the same lecture about setting up friends, and not being honest about it. But just as guys do, they settled their argument in a matter of a few minutes.

"Yes," Jan said as she smiled at her soon to be husband.

Rachel began to apologize once again to Derek for her blunder, but he waved his hand in a motion that said he totally understood her reaction.

"No harm done. I'm not offended in the least. As a matter of fact, I like your honesty and your ability to be blunt about it. Plus the way you grabbed your mouth was priceless." He smiled at her in a way that made her stomach flutter.

His smile reminded her of the dream with the cavern and the man in the boat. Rachel felt afraid for the first time since Mike. She didn't want to ever again open herself up to the kind of heartache that he had given her. There was also a much bigger obstacle for Rachel when it came to meeting new people. It was the fact that she could never let anyone into her true world. She feared no one would ever understand the world that existed just beyond her nightmares—at least not completely. It had been her experience that when she tried, they always seemed to either abandon her or treat her like she was completely crazy. However they took it, their rejection always left her feeling alone and broken.

The evening went on into the late night hours. There was a lot of laughter about the reception and all the plans that Jan had for the wedding party. Rachel and Derek both shared the same feelings on the dance lessons they were being subjected to in the near future.

"Listen. I can dance," Derek explained. "I have rhythm, of course...but choreographed dancing lessons? Jan, really?"

Jan took it all well, which surprised Rachel a little given her friend's ability to overreact.

"Everyone will love the show. I promise!" Jan's voice was full of enthusiasm as if she were one of those crazed salesmen you see on infomercials late at night pedaling car wax or mops that promise absolutely no elbow grease.

Rachel laughed at the thought, and then proceeded to point out to Derek that even she, being the maid of honor, had no idea what they were in for.

"It's all a surprise!" Jan said sarcastically, while conveying a look of hurt.

Rachel made a quick reprieve and assured her she was just teasing. For a woman of forty, Jan could play the role of a wounded pouty child quite well, even if she were a well-educated business woman.

There was more talk of the wedding, the music and, of course, the open bar. They talked about every subject that Jan and Ken could think of bringing up to see just how much common ground there was between their two best friends, and to their delight there was a lot.

As the night wound down, Ken asked Rachel if she would mind giving Derek a ride home, since it was on her way and the night had lasted much longer than planned. Of course it was also planned; he and Jan had cooked it up earlier in the day, and they were both very pleased that she agreed.

"I don't have to be up early," Rachel teased.

They all exited the restaurant, and said their goodbyes. Jan and Ken walked to the opposite end of the parking lot. As Rachel and Derek walked to her car, they looked at each other and at the same time, smiled.

"Definitely a set up," they both said.

"Can you believe those two thinking they are that clever?" Rachel asked Derek as they both climbed into her small SUV.

"Well, you have to give them some credit here though...using their wedding to lure us together." Derek was laughing as he said it to her.

It puzzled Derek that even though he had no intent of having a relationship with this woman, he couldn't help but be drawn to her. She was absolutely gorgeous, which made the fact that she was single a complete mystery to him. However, it wasn't her looks that made him feel comfortable at the thought of getting to know her. He was more attracted to the way she looked at him when he talked. It was like she was absorbing every word he had to say and storing them somewhere in her mind so she would never lose them. She made him feel like what he had to say mattered, and no one had made him feel that way since his wife. He felt a pang of guilt at that thought—as though he were somehow cheating on Claire. Again, for another moment, he felt that same cool breeze pass by him and the same scent as before followed it.

For a moment, Rachel thought she had seen a brief glimpse of sadness mixed with confusion pass across Derek's handsome face.

"You alright?" she asked in a concerned voice.

Even though it was just for a second, it was definitely sadness—she knew the look too well. She couldn't help but stare a little too long into his brown eyes. They reminded her of a Roman Gladiator's she had seen in a painting once that hung in a museum somewhere. She couldn't quite recall where at the moment.

She found herself deep in thought now.

His face reminds me of a gladiator's also: it's serious, but sad from all of the torture it has endured over time. I want to get to know him better, but I'm certain it can only be a friendship and nothing more. Even if I dared go down that road, I'm not sure if he has any interest in me that way at all—or in any woman for that matter. I really would love to know why though.

She pushed all of these thoughts out of her mind because she knew it was moving way too fast and jumping to conclusions just as it always did. She knew that she was over analyzing him a little, so she directed her mind back to the road as they pulled out of the restaurant. As they did, they caught a glimpse of Ken's truck still parked in the rear parking lot, and could see the two engaged in a deep lip lock in the front seat like high school sweethearts. Rachel laid down on her horn at the same time that Derek rolled down his window.

"Get a room!" he yelled.

Neither of the two came up for air.

They were still laughing about what they had witnessed as Rachel pulled into Derek's driveway. It was 11:37 PM on her radio. When she started her car again, it was 3:10 AM. They had talked for a long time, like they had known each other for much longer than a few hours. The connection between them was as undeniable as it was unexpected.

When Rachel pulled out of his driveway that night, she felt something she hadn't felt in a very long time—hope. She had hope that after all she had endured, fate might be finally giving her a break from the load of crap it had dumped on her for so long. Maybe this was the start of a very special friendship with Mr. Derek Williamson. She repeated his name again and again as she drove, as if it was something important that she needed to memorize.

On the drive home, she could not stop thinking about his voice and the way it seemed to flow right through her. In the corners of Rachel's mind was something else that she couldn't stop thinking about the whole evening. There was something familiar about Derek or maybe just the idea of him.

"Maybe I knew him in a previous life...perhaps we were siblings, or best friends," she said to herself. She smiled as she turned up the radio for the remainder of the drive across town.

# CHAPTER SIX

Derek knew Rachel Adams was like no woman he had ever met in his life, not even Claire—and it frightened him a little. He wasn't sure of anything about her yet, other than the fact that he felt drawn to her so strongly for some unknown reason.

It wasn't that he thought she was bad news, far from it actually. She seemed to be a woman who was broken and damaged and that thought made him want to get to know her, and find out why. It made him feel that he was not alone.

Even though they had talked for hours, he had noticed that she had steered much of the conversation away from her romantic life. Instead, she focused more on her writing and the nightmarish, chilling material she wrote about. It was clear to him that Rachel perceived herself as someone who had it hard, or that she may have even thought she was cursed. She seemed dark in some ways, but funny about it as well.

Derek wasn't entirely sure if it was all sincere or if some of it was just the odd sense of humor that she displayed often throughout the evening. He knew one thing for sure: Rachel was intriguing to say the least. He sure as hell was not going to fault her for not sharing too much information about her past—or present for that matter. Other than having told Rachel very vague details on how Claire died, he had not shared that much of his past either.

He couldn't deny that he was finding himself anxious to unwrap some of the mystery that seemed to envelope Rachel Adams. After all, they would be spending a good deal of their time together over the next few months. After finally having met her, he was looking forward to all of it now.

Thinking back to earlier in the evening, he now felt a little guilty that he had given Ken such a hard time about it all. Ken was right; Derek needed a few more good friends in his life, especially now that Ken was going to be consumed with being a newlywed in the near future. Contrary to Ken's belief, Derek actually did have other friends in his life. However, they were all married and most had kids, which always left him being the odd man out. He figured if he had a female companion—even if she were just his friend—it would at least make getting together with friends a little less lonely for him.

When Derek finally got to bed that night, he had an unusual dream. In his dream, he was in a boat, floating down a river, toward a large tunnel that was engulfed in total darkness. When he looked down at the dark water he saw that it was actually blood. As the boat drew closer to the dark, cavernous tunnel, he could make out the shape of a woman who appeared to be levitating above the water at the entrance of the tunnel.

She was wearing a long red dress that flowed with the rhythm of the waves in the water. The boat inched closer to the tunnel and came to a stop at the entrance. The woman was turned away from him—she was facing the opening of the tunnel. She was pointing into the tunnel. He could make out the details of her fingers; they had crystals of ice forming on the tips of them. Her hands were turning a blue-gray color from the extreme coldness. It was so cold he could see his breath. He felt a sudden urge to run, but there was nowhere to run to. Trapped in the bloody boat, Derek heard a familiar voice whisper to him.

"Don't look too deep into the vastness of the universe. Something may see you watching and decide to come visit you in your world."

Derek had a sudden, extreme feeling of fear and panic. He wanted to turn away from what he was seeing. However, as he started to, the woman quickly turned to face him as if she knew he was about to go and didn't want him to. He saw her face at this point in his dream, but he didn't want to. From the dark empty holes where her eyes should have been, a thick red blood trickled out—slowly streaming down her pale cheeks. She opened her mouth to speak again, but instead of words, millions of shards of icy glass projected out of it like tiny darts.

Derek sat up hard, feeling instantly like he had pulled an abdominal muscle. He was relieved to be out of his nightmarish dream, but he felt strange. He was sweating, but at the same time he was ice cold. His breaths were coming out in fast, hard gasps—he was sure he could see those breaths as he was waking. His bedroom was freezing, even though the thermostat was set at seventy-five degrees. After a few minutes, he calmed himself down and slouched back in his bed, pulling the covers up to his chin. He lay there thinking about the dream, and what the horrible phantom lady had said to him. He was almost sure she was the same woman he had just met hours ago—the woman whose green eyes and beautiful face he had fallen asleep thinking of.

She was Rachel.

# CHAPTER SEVEN

After reluctantly going back to sleep, Derek awoke three hours later than usual the next morning. He could only remember bits and pieces of the dream he had hours earlier. One image that did stick in his mind was the woman and her face—those hollow eyes seemingly pierced his soul. He couldn't remember everything that she had said to him, but he did remember one thing.

"Something about the universe," he whispered to himself as he started his coffee machine, one of those gourmet one cup deals. It was the one impulsive birthday gift he had bought for himself that he never regretted.

As his coffee brewed, he thought about calling Rachel just to say good morning, but decided it was too soon.

I don't want to give her the wrong impression or anything. With that thought he started his morning routine with a hot shower. It was much later than when he usually did this on a work day. He was thankful his office was only open for half of the normal business day, and only for the free rabies clinic it held every year.

"Thank you Lord, that I don't have to be in until noon today," he said to his reflection in the mirror as he shaved, "Thank you, indeed."

Across town, Rachel was still in the remains of a deep sleep as Jasper was waking her with his usual late morning bark session. It was his way of telling her he desperately needed to go outside.

Rachel had many late night writing sessions, coupled with a mild case of insomnia and sleep disturbances. Those things made her grateful to the dog for not being an early riser himself most days. She checked her cell as she did every morning and saw that it was just the usual email, social network, and Blog notifications. She was a little disappointed that there was no message from Derek yet. A small part of her was hoping for a good morning text from her new friend from the night before.

"Stop it," she scolded herself, "It wasn't a hookup...you know that, especially after getting to know him a little better. He has no interest in you, crazy white lady."

She giggled as she said it making her way to the bathroom.

After letting Jasper out, she plopped down on the sofa and picked up her cell phone. She studied it for a minute before she tapped on the messaging icon.

You are a grown woman, not a thirteen year old, her inner voice said, as she rolled onto her side.

She began to type Derek a message. She started out with Good morning, but had a bit of writer's block after that. She continued with the kind of small talk that someone writes to a person that they only know casually. After she finished writing the text, her finger hovered over the Send button for a second because she was still not sure she wanted to. She pressed it forcefully, instantly wishing she could somehow retrieve it.

"It's not a big deal, you are friends now, and friends text each other," she said to herself as she studied her phone worriedly. "Gone are the days of actually picking up a phone and having a conversation with someone. People just write all of their emotions down."

The concept of people losing their ability to actually talk to one another was a frightening idea for her. No sooner than she had thought it, her phone was ringing—it was Derek.

Their conversation was brief because, as Derek informed her, he was about five minutes from work when he called. He told her that he had wanted to call her and let her know he had received her message instead of just texting back.

"Rachel, I'm glad we met last night after all, instead of waiting until all of the craziness started...even if you are white," he said smartly in that deep throaty voice that made her both laugh and feel warm all over.

"Be nice!" she said through her laughter.

He also told her how much he looked forward to getting together again soon.

Rachel saw the opportunity and seized it. She invited him out to Jan's Fourth of July party at the lake house on Lake Lanier. Jan had inherited it from her rather wealthy grandmother after she passed away a few years back.

Before answering he paused a little longer than she would have liked.

"I don't get out much at all to tell you the truth," he said, "I'll think about it if my schedule looks good."

Derek knew he was making excuses, but a part of him was seriously considering taking her up on the invite. He made a polite exit from the phone call as he pulled into his parking space at his office. After hanging up from Rachel he sat in his vehicle for a few minutes—he thought about calling her back, but decided to think on it for a while. The schedule thing was an excuse not to commit to anything—at least not yet.

In reality, he could make whatever schedule he wanted as long as he didn't have any surgeries scheduled. He had a more than capable staff, and there were other vets that he could call if needed. If he needed to he could always reach out to Ann, who was his on call vet that worked only as needed due to the fact that she had just became a new mom. Derek appreciated her, and was pleased with how well their arrangement had worked out for the both of them. It allowed her to work only a few days a week, and afforded Derek the luxury of taking days off when he wanted.

Derek got out of his SUV and stood at the window looking at his reflection for a minute. He began to reason with his thoughts.

What would be so wrong with you getting to know her better? She could have a huge truckload of baggage for one thing, and for another she could have some horrible skeletons in her closet that you don't want to rattle up; even if she does seem to be worth getting to know.

He noticed Mrs. Chambers and her cat Sophie both staring at him from the car parked in the space next to his. He started to straighten his tie so that he didn't look like he had completely lost his mind. He then turned and gave her a polite wave as he entered into his building.

After little thought, he had decided to accept the invitation and planned to call her later to let her know. It was as though something beyond his control was purposely keeping Rachel on his mind. That thought made him remember the dream, and what was said in it—something about the universe. That was all he could remember about it now, and he was certain that he didn't want to remember anything else.

# CHAPTER EIGHT

Derek had to force himself to concentrate on nothing but work for the rest of the day. He sat at his desk in his office, thankful for the light workload. Most of the techs could handle giving shots, he was mainly there to make an appearance. Even though he had unexpectedly, found himself resetting the bone in a Labrador retriever's right front leg shortly after he arrived. The lab had broken the leg while jumping from the cab of a semi-truck. Ironically the owner had been bringing their pet to get shots, when the dog unexpectedly dove from the front passenger seat onto the pavement below. It had taken Derek a good half hour to reset the bone. Now, as he lounged back in his chair, the lack of sleep from the night before was catching up to him fast.

His mind wondered back to the dog. Derek had found that even though labs were known to be smart dogs, they could sometimes be dumb and clumsy. The breed always reminded him of his childhood pet, Boss, that he had owned as a boy. The dog had saved Derek's life one rainy Saturday afternoon in early spring.

Then:

Walking along the riverbank was something Derek knew his mother didn't approve of, but it was quicker. Plus, he was both soaking wet from the unexpected downpour, and was running ten minutes late. They were coming back from a trip to the old country store where Derek had just purchased his weekly supply of the salt water taffy. They had just entered the bend where the river almost turned into rapids.

In an instant, Derek slipped on a stone and he fell through the old wooden fence that had been put up many years before. Young Derek had often thought that it was put there to guard against these kinds of accidents. Had the fence not been dry rotted from weather and age, it would have probably served its purpose. Beyond the fence was a slight slope, which was somewhat slick from the rain. Derek frantically started to grab at the weeds, grass, and anything else he could see that would aid in stopping him from sliding down into the cold raging waters below.

He had stopped his fall, but could not let go of his grip without plunging to a certain death. Without hesitation, Boss flew into action, grabbing Derek by his leather belt with his massive jaws as the boy struggled. It was like the dog knew the strongest thing on Derek to grab hold of to save him. His boy was very close to the ledge, so the huge lab dug into the ground with all fours. Boss planted his hind feet behind a stone and hunkered himself down, as though he were playing a game of tug-o-war for something extremely important to him. Slowly and carefully the lab pulled his master to safety. As Derek lay on the riverbank gasping for air, a strange feeling washed over him. Oddly, it felt like someone else besides his beloved pet had helped him.

Now:

As Derek sat at his desk recalling it all, he acknowledged again what he had always known. Boss was the reason he had chosen this profession. In his career, Derek had found that veterinary medicine was not a popular field amongst African Americans. Medical fields involving treatment of humans were more popular, maybe, but not animal medicine—at least not in his experience. For Derek, though, it was an easy decision. The childhood pet that saved his life lost his own—way too early to a horrible disease.

Derek didn't choose this career to avenge Boss: he did it to thank him. He always felt that it was the least he could do. As he reclined back once again in his oversized office chair, and waited for his day to end his mind wondered to other things. It went straight to Claire, and what she would think of him now if she knew he was thinking the way he was about the woman he had just met the night before. A woman who had intrigued him and scared him just a little. Would his deceased wife approve? Would she really want him to move on? Would she have a problem with him being involved with a white woman? Several of her friends had been women of many different races and cultures. Hell she herself had been born to parents of different ethnic backgrounds.

After pondering all of this Derek really didn't believe that his late wife would object to any of it. One of the best things about Claire was her ability to see beyond the social stigmas and labels that are often attached to people. She treated everyone with respect and compassion, and had been the kind of woman who had never judged anyone. Therefore, no person of any status, color or creed had been a stranger to her. She befriended almost anyone as long as they were decent human beings. Remembering the qualities his wife had possessed assured Derek that not only would she approve of Rachel Adams, she would embrace the idea of him befriending her and possibly even more.

Derek was suddenly overcome by darker memories—ones that always left him with feelings of despair and resentment. He knew he would always be haunted by the memories of his father and the promise he had made to him long ago.

Derek was twenty-eight when he sat in his father's bedroom in the old house in the Georgia Mountains. The home that used to be filled with his mother's singing, but the place had died a little with her when she was murdered in the upstairs bedroom. She had been fast asleep in her bed early one morning when a psychopath entered through an unlocked window. As he had told the police: he made himself a glass of milk, walked up the stairs, and put two slugs in the sleeping woman's brain. It all happened twenty minutes after Derek's father had left for work.

Three years later, his father passed, and Derek often wondered how in the hell the old man could sleep in the same house his wife had been murdered in.

She is still here with me, Derek could hear his father's voice saying. It was what his father would always say when Derek questioned the old man about it.

Derek and his sister had sold the place shortly after his father's death, but he couldn't stop loving those mountains—he grew up in. It was the reason he went back to them as often as possible for weekend and sometimes week-long trips.

Then:

Derek was sitting with his dying father in the old man's bedroom. He was reading from his father's bible, reciting the twenty-third Psalm.

"The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want—"

"Boy...come here," his father's weak voice called to him.

Derek stood up, walked over to the bed and knelt down by his father.

"Promise me something, something that has been weighing heavy on my mind," his father said.

"What is it, pop?" Derek asked.

"First thing's first," the old man struggled. "I been having all these dreams...terrible, odd dreams about you."

"Dad—"

"Listen!" the old man shouted at this unwelcome interruption. "I ain't got much time boy, so listen to me!"

"Alright, pop," Derek said in an obedient voice after seeing the desperate look on his father's face.

"There's so much that you've never been told son...partly for your protection, but mostly because there was just so much that was a mystery. Still is...even now. Maybe it'll be best anyway, though...not knowing sometimes is best. It keeps you safe"

Derek noticed the change in his father's tone. It was almost sorrowful.

"You gonna have a rough road boy, heartache and loss in your life...you gonna have a fine woman, and she's gonna bring you happiness...but destiny can be a hard bitch sometimes."

After a brief pause, his face became angry and the bitterness returned to his voice.

"Don't you listen to your foolish heart boy, you listen to your smart mind, and you stay away from that other woman! Don't mess with all of that stuff. It's nonsense and it's dangerous."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" Derek asked, completely confused by that time.

"Listen to me son."

His father's voice took on a completely different and much more loving tone once again.

"You are a successful, young black man. Remember where you came from and who your people are. Don't you make that same mistake you made in college when you thought you could be a part of something that was such a disgrace to your family and your heritage. Yes...heritage. It's so much mor—" he said, his voice trailing off.

Derek assumed the old man was speaking of the college love affair he had with Carla. He always hated being reminded of the first girl he had loved—a girl whose only mortal sin was that she had been born Native American instead of African American.

"Pop listen, you are getting too upset. It isn't—"

"Promise me!" his father growled at him, coughing up some bloody spittle into his handkerchief. "Promise me you will never disgrace your heritage that way again son!"

The old man started coughing uncontrollably—sometimes nearly half-dollar sized clots of blood. All Derek wanted to do was calm his father down and stop the blood bath.

"Alright...alright pop, I promise!"

With that, his father fell back on his pillows and looked up into Derek's eyes. He slowly fell into a deep sleep and woke several hours later, only to take two long gurgling breaths before he died.

Now:

Derek's memories of it all were suddenly interrupted when Wendy: one of the vet techs, called on his office line. She was alerting him that his presence had been requested by a rather elderly lady who wanted his professional opinion on a matter concerning her cat. He stood up, shook off the remains of his father's ghost, and proceeded out onto the back patio area where the parade of pets and their owners awaited.

After all his reminiscing through the good and the bad promises he had made in his life, he decided he would definitely end his day with that phone call. The one he had been debating about all day. He desperately needed to call the woman he had been constantly thinking about since he had met her.

Jan sat on a bench by the water watching the birds hover—watching them anticipate that she may throw them a crumb. She heard Rachel call to her as she approached the bench.

"Hey, lady! Stop teasing those nasty flying rodents!" Rachel shouted.

Jan laughed, knowing that Rachel held the things in the same regard as she did.

"Hi there, friend...how is it going today?" Jan asked.

Rachel knew exactly what the real question on Jan's mind was, and that it had everything to do with Derek.

"I haven't had that much fun in a very long time," Rachel answered. "Plus, after we left we sat in his drive and talked for a few hours and got to know each other a little better."

Jan could barely contain her excitement as she demanded to hear the details of the conversation between Rachel and Derek from the night before. The two chatted for the better part of the afternoon. They discussed the way Derek had opened up to Rachel just a little about his deceased wife.

"He said she died in an automobile accident while she was traveling, but didn't really offer any details," Rachel said as she sipped her coffee.

Jan filled her in on what details she knew regarding the accident. Which was only that Derek's wife had been taking care of some family business in another town a few years back. Jan added that on the unfortunate woman's trip back to Savannah she was involved in a multiple car accident on the freeway.

"From what I understand, her car exploded when another vehicle slammed into the back of hers sending her car crashing into a fuel tanker truck. A fire started somehow, and all of that fuel went up in flames. Ken told me the poor guy was messed up for months afterward...like, intense therapy and all."

"How awful," Rachel said.

Jan added that Ken had also told her it took Derek a good six months to even want to leave his own house. Rachel could identify with that, as she had been in a similar state after her ex-husband had left her.

"Kinda the same way you were after Mike left," Jan said, as though she had read Rachel's thoughts. "I've always wondered if it would be more painful to lose a spouse to death or divorce."

"Depends on the spouse, I suppose," Rachel answered in a far off voice unlike her own.

"You alright, honey? I'm sorry Rach; I didn't mean to bring up bad memories." Jan's voice was filled with regret and a hint of shame.

"It's alright," Rachel assured her friend. "I know you meant no harm. Now, let's talk about the wedding. I am looking forward to the dance lessons now!"

Rachel beamed with excitement almost like a schoolgirl, she couldn't help but laugh at herself along with her friend.

After several hours they parted company and as she walked to her car, Rachel thought about a woman she had met a few years ago. It was only a brief meeting, and Rachel hadn't thought about her in years.

For some reason, when Jan mentioned family business, my mind went straight to her, Rachel thought.

She felt a cool breeze pass by her and thought she could smell a clean fresh scent floating just beyond the tail winds of it. It was familiar, but she couldn't place it. She knew somehow though, that it would come to her soon.

# CHAPTER NINE

Over the next couple months, Rachel and Derek got to know each other very well. Just a few weeks after meeting, they had developed a bond that neither of them had ever imagined they would. Jan and Ken who had played a strong role in bringing the two together also had a hand in keeping them that way.

Rachel and Derek spent most of their leisure time together after that informal date on the Fourth of July—at least everything that involved getting together with friends. They joined in on some of Ken and Jan's nights out on the town. They also went to many other cookouts on the lake that summer. Some were small gatherings. Others were large and included other friends as well as co-workers.

On one of those occasions, Rachel was cornered by Lacy, one of Derek's vet techs. She had gone on and on about how she once had eyes for the sexy doc, but added that he had snuffed out that flame before it even flickered.

"He sure is smitten with you though...I don't think I've ever seen him happier when he's at the office now," Lacy said.

Rachel noticed a hint of resentment in the young ladies tone and politely excused herself on that note.

As Rachel mingled her way through the people socializing on the dock that belonged to Jan's lake house, she had realized she was the only one who had no staff or co-workers in her life. It made her feel alienated from the world a little, and she liked it. She had always been somewhat anti-social, and had good reason to be. Her rule was—the less people in your personal life, the less there are to ask questions and relentlessly poke their noses into your business. She typically preferred to share that business with no one.

Along with the weekend parties on the lake that summer, there were also movie nights which often led to unexpected sleepovers. Rachel and Derek always retired to separate sleeping quarters. However, there had been several times where the two awoke to discover they had fallen asleep on the huge sectional sofa that adorned the Lake house's living room.

One Saturday morning, Jan caught the two as she descended down the stairs to start the coffee maker for everyone.

"Look at you two sleeping together so soon...ya whores!" she yelled playfully.

Both Rachel and Derek sat up, immediately startled and a little embarrassed at Jan's loud announcement to the entire household. They spent the rest of that weekend trying to avoid the teasing offered by everyone there.

Even though they had both felt a strange, unexplainable connection from the first moment they met. The few months that it took Rachel and Derek to let each other in and become close had been the best time of their lives.

They both started to realize that there was a definite attraction between them, and it was getting very hard to ignore. However, the feelings that were coming alive within them now was something they were fighting against for reasons of their own. Just how long they would fight it was a question they both asked themselves, but couldn't seem to answer.

On a Thursday morning in early fall, Derek invited Rachel to join him for breakfast at a local diner near his office. It was the first time that he had asked her out to a place where it would only be the two of them. As they talked over coffee, Derek thought it was time he explain some things about himself to her.

"Rachel, I wanted to talk to you about something, but I don't want to offend you so please hear me out before you jump to the wrong conclusions."

Rachel felt a lump well up in her throat. She knew what he was going to say.

He's going to tell me—it's been great, but you scare the hell out of me with all of your oddities and secrecy about your life. Blah, blah, blah. She couldn't help but think this while waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.

She couldn't fault him for it—she had scared more people off than most throughout her life. It was no wonder Mike had such power over her throughout most of their marriage. He was the only one who didn't run away at the first sign of her being different. Of course now she knew that the only reason he hadn't was because she had a fat bank account that kept him from running.

"I want to tell you about my father," Derek said.

"Okay," Rachel responded, both relieved and confused.

What he told her, she had already suspected in part, but hearing it from him now definitely clarified some things for her. He told her what had happened in college, and briefly about the promise that he had made.

"Rachel, you have to understand that because my father felt the way he did, and because I agreed to his demands does not mean that I believed as he did, or that any part of me is like my father in any way."

"Doesn't it though...at least in some way? I mean you could have just appeased him and sent him on his way. Did you really have to break her heart the way you did?"

"I couldn't just continue to lie to him like that," Derek answered.

The relief that Rachel had felt minutes ago was gone now, and she could see that Derek was also becoming increasingly uneasy.

"Honestly, Derek, did you obey your father because you had to, or because you felt in your heart that it was the right thing to do?"

"Rachel...pardon me here but, you have absolutely no idea who I was back then," Derek said with frustration in his voice. "I'm starting to think that you evidently don't know me very well now...at least not the way I thought you were starting to know me."

Sensing now that Derek's agitation was increasing— Rachel tried to find the words she needed to say to turn this whole thing back around in the right direction.

"Derek, just hear me out for a second. Is this your way of trying to explain to me why we can never be more than just friends...are you trying to let me down easy? You know, I'm a pretty strong person, I can take—"

"Rachel!" Derek interrupted.

He was as confused as he was angry with himself that he had not made her understand why he had some reservations, about taking their friendship further.

"I'm not trying to give you some excuse...nor am I trying to let you down easy by telling you one of the many horror stories about my father. All I am trying to say here...obviously not very well, is this: I need for you to understand that this isn't as easy for me as it is you. I still have some things to work through. Can you give me time to do that and not think it means...something bad?"

Easy for me? Oh if you only knew how terrifyingly scary this all is for me as well. Rachel thought as she reached across the table and took his hands in her own.

"Yes Derek, I can do that, and I am sorry if I did not receive this the way you meant it. Maybe I was being a little quick to judge. You are right...I didn't know you then. I do feel like I know you pretty well now though, and I think that I hurt you by saying that. I didn't mean for it to sound the way it did. I hope you can forgive me opening my big mouth."

He squeezed her hands gently.

"No need to forgive you for saying what you were feeling, but thank you Rachel."

She smiled at him and said, "We will let it all unfold at its own pace. I know that there are things that you have to work through. If we ever get to the point in our relationship that I hope we do, can I tell you some of my secrets? Will you let me?"

"Yes, most definitely...you can tell me anything you want to when you are ready and I promise you I will understand."

She hated the word promise a little, even though she had used it herself a few times. She hated it because of her father—because of all of his broken promises that he had left behind. Also, she hated it because of something her grandmother had told her. Yet, coming from Derek, the word felt different and almost real.

After saying their goodbyes that morning, Rachel decided to take the scenic route back to her house—about twenty-five miles outside the outermost part of the city. She loved driving past some of the old historic sites the country had to offer. Talking to Derek about telling him her secrets made her think of her old house and all of its secrets. She decided a visit was long overdue.

# CHAPTER TEN

It was only about forty miles further out, and since she had nothing planned for the day she thought it would be a good idea to ride out and check on the place. She only got out there a couple times a year. Having hired the Anders, a middle aged couple, to look after the old homestead many years ago was one of the reasons she felt little need to go out there more often. The other reason she made her visits scarce was them. They were always waiting there though, ever so patiently for her to come.

She often wondered if they had been the reason that her dying mother made her promise to never sell the place. Through the many years of Mike's bitching at her to do just that, it was the one thing she never gave into him about. She knew she could never part with the old house.

She had made her mother that promise in the light of day, where Rachel believed promises were always kept and never broken. It was the promises made in the dark—they were the ones that were always lies. It was something her grandmother had embedded in both her mind and soul many years ago. Rachel remembered the countless times the eccentric old woman had told her that adage.

My sweet baby girl, if someone makes you a promise in the light of day...when you can look into their eyes and see their soul...it's a promise that will be kept. But if someone makes you a promise in the darkness, when their soul can hide from your sight...it is a lie. Surely...it will be broken.

Rachel knew she would always keep the old house—no matter what. Going out to the place, sometimes stirred up enough ghosts to inspire a new storyline in one of her books. So in a strange way, it benefited her to keep it.

The house had been in Rachel's family for more than one-hundred years, but after her family was all gone she had no intention of living in it alone. It was way too big, and it had too many real ghosts in it as far as Rachel was concerned. She had always felt things there as a child, especially at night. Rachel knew now as an adult that none of that had ever been her imagination as her mother had always reassured her.

As she pulled into the driveway, she noticed a note on the front door. She knew the note was from Mr. Anders, evidently regarding something that needed repairing.

She paid him and his wife eight-hundred dollars a month to keep the grounds cut and weeded and the interior clean and free of cobwebs. Mr. Anders also made any minor repairs that needed to be done.

The note on the front door stated that he had been trying to contact her concerning a small plumbing leak that he had repaired—he had included the receipt with the note for the supplies.

"Crap...I totally forgot to give him my new cell number," Rachel whispered to herself, aggravated at her own carelessness.

She quickly dialed Mr. Anders and after much apologizing, she assured him that she was leaving a check for his expenses, plus a little extra for his labor. After a few minutes of pleasantries, she hung up and let herself into the old place.

Every time she came back, a flood of mixed emotions would come rushing in on her at once. She often questioned why she ever set foot in the house after everything that happened in it, but she knew all too well why she did.

"It's so you can be close to them again," she whispered. This was the place she could feel them the most.

Them was the word Rachel used to refer to her mother, father, and her brother. However, there were also other things she could feel in the place but could never name. She wasn't positive that it even was them—at least not beyond a shadow of doubt; however, she knew it was something.

She felt that same overwhelming sadness that always consumed her here as she stepped into the kitchen. She could still almost smell her mother's cooking if she tried hard enough. She sat down at the old dinette set and returned to a time in her mind, when she was ten years old. Sitting at the same table, talking to her mother while she cooked dinner.

Then:

One of Rachel's favorite things to do was to watch her mother cook. Rachel often thought that her mother made it into an art. As she sat at the table telling her mother about her day at school, she noticed the way the beautiful woman seemed to hang on her every word. Her mother had always been different from her father.

"Daddy always seems so mad at me, mommy," she said. She had told her mother this on several occasions.

"Your father...just has a lot on his mind," her mother answered, just as she always did.

Right now all was right with Rachel's world. It was just her and her mother while her father and brother were away on a deep sea fishing trip for the weekend. Rachel had only gotten to go along once when she was seven and had been sick the entire time. Since then she had never begged to go again.

Now:

Remembering the scene made Rachel long for her mother and her grandmother as well. She often wondered why she couldn't share the things with her mother that she had with Grammy, like her mystic. That was something only her grandmother could be trusted with—at least that's what the old woman had always told Rachel.

Still, she couldn't help but resent the fact that she had never let her mother in. Why she had never trusted the woman who gave birth to her with her secret was beyond her now.

The woman who consumed my every word was somehow not trustworthy enough to know what her own daughter's secrets were. It made no sense to her even now.

Her readers consumed her words now.

"Those words are make-believe," she reminded herself while sitting there at the table.

The words her mother always loved to hear and read from her, were Rachel's own true ones. She thought of Derek now. He was actually the only person since her mother who seemed to love to hear her talk about anything, about nothing, or everything all at once. She also felt that he was the only person, other than her grandmother that she could share all of her secrets with. The idea of that made her smile as she sat in there in her old place, amongst things unseen and unheard.

Memories of her father erased her smile; slowly but surely—the way they always did. He was the man who had made most of Rachel's childhood and teen years difficult to say the least. Even though it wasn't entirely his fault, he was the source of so much of the pain, and shame she still carried.

All she ever seemed to remember of him was the nothingness that had consumed him.

Then:

The first time Daniel Adams had attempted suicide was when his daughter Rachel was ten years old. That memory would be embedded in her mind like a painful thorn.

It was a rainy day in late spring. Rachel's mother, Caroline, had been sewing a new dress for her daughter's fifth grade piano recital when a loud thud echoed from the upstairs bathroom. Rachel could see the fear in her mother's eyes, as if she somehow knew the horror that was awaiting her upstairs.

Her mother dropped everything and ran full force toward the steps in the foyer. She bounded up the stairs, taking them two and three steps at a time—screaming her husband's name the entire way. Rachel followed close behind her mother thinking that perhaps her father had fallen and was hurt. The scene that Rachel saw when she entered the bathroom ten seconds or so after her mother told a different story.

Her father, a man of significant stature, lay with his lean body taking up most of the width of the large bathroom floor. His eyes were rolled back in his head, and an expression of horror had taken up residence in his unconscious pale face. From his left temple, a huge gash was spurting blood like a hose that had sprung a bad leak. From the ceiling Rachel saw the rope dangling from the high heavy wood beam that ran across the width of the bathroom's ceiling.

Her ten year old mind thought that it looked a lot like the rope that her swing hung from on the huge oak tree in the backyard. There was a small step stool over turned by her father's lifeless body. Rachel was puzzled as to why it was in the bathroom because it usually sat in her parents' bedroom by the closet.

Later that day in the hospital waiting room, her mother told her that her father had been trying to tie the rope up onto the beam for the purpose of doing some arm exercises. She had said he needed to strengthen his right shoulder muscle that was damaged due to an injury he sustained while fighting in the war. The war her mother was referring to was Vietnam—it was one that Rachel had never understood and never would. All she knew was—that damn war took her father away in more ways than one.

When Daniel Adams stepped off the step stool in his bathroom that day, he had neglected one critical thing in his suicide attempt. He had forgotten to make sure the rope he had retrieved from his garage was a strong one. The second he stepped off the stool, it snapped, dropping him like a two hundred-twenty pound sack of potatoes.

On his way down to the floor below, his left temple struck the corner of the wooden bathroom counter top carving a deep three inch gash into his head. By all accounts, his head was already quite messed up on its own without the gash. He was instantly knocked unconscious before he even hit the old, ceramic tile floor.

Rachel had thought that her father was dead when she saw him lying there; however, that was not the worst feeling she remembered having at the time. She could recall feeling a little relieved at the thought of her father being dead, because that meant that he was free. Free from his suffering, free from his pain and most of all, free of the thing that tortured him—whatever it was.

She thought it was the voices that plagued her father the most. Plus the other things that he would whisper to her mother about at night in their bedroom—things that were not normal. Young Rachel could remember a time when she was only eight years old. It was the first time she had overheard her father talking to her mother late one night.

Rachel remembered sitting there, wide awake in her own room listening to him. However, while she was listening she was also watching. She was cautiously observing the see-through woman. That was the best description her young mind could think of to describe what she was seeing at the time. The woman who had been sitting at the foot of her bed for the past twenty minutes or so did nothing more than look at Rachel. It was the way the lady was looking at her that made Rachel almost comfortable in her presence. It was as though Rachel knew her and always had.

She could hear her father and mother so clearly it was like they were right there in her room as well, she wanted to call out to them but didn't.

"Have I lost my mind, why would I be thinking such things?" her father asked, sobbing quietly.

"No honey," her mother comforted him, "it's probably the medications. We will make an appointment tomorrow at the Veterans hospital."

This didn't seem to calm her father's panic at all. Rachel heard him telling her mother about a woman he had been seeing in his dreams and even in his own bed. As he described the woman he had seen, Rachel knew instantly that woman her father was talking about and the one in her room sitting on her bed were one in the same.

"I miss her so."

His words were muffled, but she was sure it was what he had just said.

Rachel felt the urge to scream for her mother, but it was as if the woman-like apparition on her bed had read her mind. It raised a long, slender finger to its pale lips making the gesture for Rachel to remain perfectly quiet. She obeyed, and laid back and covered her head. Even though she didn't feel any fear from whatever this was, she also did not want to see it any longer.

She quietly whispered something her grandmother had taught her not long ago, though she didn't know at the time why, now she did.

"Go away. I don't need you here with me...there is somewhere else you should be, go back."

She repeated this chant, as her grandmother had called it, over and over.

Rachel slowly pulled the covers off of her head and stared into her empty room. The shadow woman was gone.

Before that time, she never understood why her grandmother had made her recite those words so many times. Every time her grandmother saw her, she told Rachel to repeat this—just in case something, or someone she did not know ever came to visit her. Rachel now knew what she had meant.

Now:

The adult Rachel knew little more now than her younger version did then regarding the mysterious woman.

It was all to protect me from the mystic—or was it to protect the mystic? Rachel's mind wondered, a little confused. Hadn't Grammy said it was to keep it at bay, and to keep it from either consuming my life or driving me mad the way it had done my father—or something like that?

Whatever it was, she thanked God that it had no desire to leave this house, even though she knew somehow that it could if it decided to. She rarely ever felt or heard things the way she did in this old house, at least not usually.

People always had a million questions when she would talk about the family home she still owned that basically sat empty. Therefore she made it a point to bring it up rarely. There were reasons she could not part with her childhood home—promises she had made. She didn't understand them all now, but she had a feeling that she would soon.

Rachel got up and started to walk out back before she left. Suddenly, she felt a brush of cool air flow by her. She could smell something again—faint, but familiar. It was the clean scent again, like something fresh and new. It was from somewhere in time that her mind couldn't grasp—she had loved this smell and the feelings it brought, but the memory of its origin was vague and out of reach. Rachel wanted to remember what carried the beautiful fragrance so badly that it made her ache deep inside.

After a second or two she regained her senses and walked over to the kitchen window that overlooked a sprawling back yard, as well as the woods and the river that flowed behind the lot. As she looked out the window, she thought she caught a glimpse of an image through one of the panes, but as quickly as her eyes caught the white reflection it was gone. She stood at the window for a few minutes, her mind reminiscing of childhood games played in that yard and in those woods with her brother Josh. Tears started to cloud her vision as she thought of him—that was her signal that it was time to go.

She had thoughts that she knew where her own, but heard them in her grandmother's voice.

You know why you came back here...because it makes you feel connected to what sleeps within you...that part of you that you have shut out.

As she was making her last sweep of the place, she had another troubling thought that was definitely her own.

No, it's because you have become so comfortable with feeling this way all the time that you seek it out now as if you somehow deserve to feel lost and confused. That's why you come here.

As she was leaving, Rachel's thoughts swam endlessly back and forth in her mind. As she was pulling the huge oak door closed behind her, she was sure she heard a faint voice whisper something that she thought sounded like I never left you or I kept you.

Rachel almost opened the door again but a voice in her head warned her to leave, and she listened.

# CHAPTER ELEVEN

On the drive back into town Rachel's mind was searching for logical answers for the words she knew her ears had heard, or thought they heard.

"It was distorted," she whispered, "No...it was more like it was jumbled."

Replaying the sound of the voice in her head made her shiver, it also made her question once again why she continually went back to the old place. There was no question anymore—she knew now it wasn't just to visit old ghosts. Now, it was the longing to know things. The urge to find out answers had gotten stronger in the past few months, and she was sure she knew why. It was Derek.

For some unexplainable reason, ever since she had met him she wanted to know things that had been locked away long ago about her life. More than anything, Rachel wanted to uncover all of the secrets that were buried so deep. Something had went terribly wrong once upon a time in her life, and she was still living with it. Even though it had been erased somehow from her memory, it was still there—sleeping just below the surface the way it always had been.

Rachel tried to shake the bad feelings and focus on the weeks that were ahead. She thought of Derek and how close they had become in such a short time, especially in the past few weeks. After all the time they had spent together since they first met a few months ago, she knew now that she was feeling more than friendship for him. Knowing this made her feel both content and completely terrified at the same time. Falling in love with him had not been a part of the plan at all. Now she was more than happy that she had reluctantly went on that secret blind date a few months ago.

A million things were running through her mind as she drove. For some strange reason she wondered what Mike would think of this all. Even after the divorce he seemed to think that he still laid claim to her life.

Rachel could hear Mike's condescending words in her head. He's a black man, what the hell could you two possibly have in common? For crying out loud Rachel, have you lost what's left of your mind?

Rachel let go of all the grim thoughts that were invading her happiness. She knew that after so many years of keeping it to herself that opening up to someone about all of it was a necessity. She needed to tell someone about the house and the things that happened there—even about the things that happen everywhere sometimes.

She had kept so much inside for so many years, she just wanted to tell someone the things that others had never known.

Hell I don't even know, I think maybe Grammy was the only one who truly did know everything, the voice in her head reasoned.

In her adult life, Rachel had never been allowed to share the secret parts of herself—not even with Jan, and certainly not with Mike. It was about time that she tried once again to tell her best friend.

"She will either love me for sharing such an intimate part of myself with her, or she will call the guys at the nut house to come and pick me up the same way I thought she was going to before," Rachel said aloud to herself in the emptiness of the vehicle.

She laughed nervously, but she felt an intense sadness at the same time because it reminded her of her mother.

Yeah remember her...your mom...the one you had carted off to the nut house so many years ago. She died there remember that? She died there because of you! The voice inside her head was so loud at that point—it was as if someone were sitting in the passenger seat yelling it at her. Maybe it's her screaming at me from the grave.

Rachel pulled over to the side of the road—she was shaking uncontrollably and that horrible, suffocating feeling was coming on fast and hard. After what seemed like hours, she gathered herself and pulled slowly back onto the road. She drove the rest of the way home with the radio cranked up, playing some of her favorite southern rock songs.

That evening she tried calling Jan to see if they could get together for dinner over the weekend so they could talk. She had forgotten, though, that Jan was out of town on a business trip for her law firm. Instead she went to bed early that night feeling alone and lost. After tossing and turning for hours, calling Derek was very tempting, but she noticed it had gotten late. Not wanting to wake him, she decided to wait until morning. She figured maybe by then she could work up the nerve to talk to him about it. One thing was certain—she had to talk to someone and with Jan away Derek was next in line.

While she slept, Rachel was plagued by her dreams—the really bad ones. She woke the next morning feeling exhausted from a restless night's sleep.

"I'm going to have to start taking those damn sleeping pills again," she said to herself as she reluctantly climbed out of bed.

Several minutes later she sank into a hot bath in the oversized tub—another one of the amenities the house offered that made it such an easy sell. As she soaked the night's troubles away, she thought of calling Derek. Was it too soon to unload something so troubling about her life on him?

She didn't care at this point, she knew she needed desperately to talk to someone and he was her someone right now. She needed the company of another human being and he was who she needed. She drew in a deep breath as she scrolled down to his name in the list of contacts on her cell and hit call, and exhaled as it began to ring.

# CHAPTER TWELVE

To Derek, fall was by far the best time of the year. The air was crisp, the leaves were just starting to turn colors and the smells were intoxicating.

Living in Atlanta offered many luxuries. Stone Mountain was a twenty minute drive, and the Blue Ridge Mountains of Georgia were a quick hour and fifteen minutes away. Derek made many weekend trips to the mountains for hiking and fishing, but photographing the mountains and the interesting people that inhabited them had become one of his favorite hobbies.

One of his longtime friends from college, who was a high dollar private investigator, owned a cabin there that he and his wife lived in during the months of March through August. Derek was given the lock box code, and was free to use the place anytime during the fall and winter months. In exchange for his friend's generous offer, Derek paid the utilities through the months that he used the place.

The mountain cabin and the small stream that flowed behind it had been more than therapeutic for him over the past few years. Even though the trip had been much longer when he lived in Savannah—he still made it often to clear his mind, and to heal. Derek always thought that something about the mountains made him feel closer to God. He had spent many weekends there hidden away from the world, and planned to spend many more to come.

It was early Friday morning—he was packing up the last of his supplies for the trip when his cell phone rang. It was Rachel. He almost didn't answer, but something in his heart told him to. As soon as he heard her voice he was glad he had. After the first word she spoke though he could sense something was wrong—really wrong. He asked her, but she wouldn't say or perhaps couldn't say; he wasn't really sure which it was.

"Are you busy?" she asked.

He told her of his plans for the day and that he was just finishing packing up his truck for the trip.

"Oh, okay," Rachel replied back to him.

Derek could hear the disappointment in her words, and he could sense her desperation. She told him that she was sorry that she had called at a bad time, and was in the process of making a polite exit when he cut her off.

It was as if someone else had taken over his will—just for a second or two. He felt this way because he had no intention of inviting her when he answered her call. He needed some alone time, but something else in him needed something different.

"Why don't you come along?" he asked her before he could stop himself.

Rachel was quick to answer.

"No, I would be intruding on your alone time, thank you so much for asking...and I really would love to get away from here for the day, but I couldn't possibly intrude on you like that. But thank you, Derek."

Just as he opened his mouth to make his polite get away, something else, once again took control of him and his words. What he said next, was not what he intended to say. However, in some way he was happy he said it, which confused him even more.

"Listen Rachel, I would not ask you to join me if I didn't want the pleasure of your company. Besides, it will be great, you will love it there. You may want to pack a bag though, because my buddy owns a cabin there, and I usually stay at least one night. I mean, there are three bedrooms so you would have your own space and all. It's so therapeutic there, it really is...and you sound like you could use some time away as well."

After he had said the words he was utterly and completely dumbfounded by them. It wasn't that he didn't want her company—he actually enjoyed spending time with Rachel, she had become a close friend. She was like no one he had ever known, and he wanted to get to know her even more. Even though just yesterday he had been adamant about taking things slow, and not sending her the wrong signals, now he wasn't sure that mattered anymore.

Derek was nothing short of completely confused about his feelings for Rachel, even after knowing her now for a few months. She was wonderful, and a huge, aching part of him wanted to know her in every way. The other small part of him was scared to death of her, and what kind of hell she might bring him if things went wrong. He had been fighting these feelings since he had met this beautiful woman, but despite this something beyond his control kept drawing him to her. His thoughts were broken off as Rachel's voice on the other end answered him.

"I can be ready in a half an hour."

That was that—it was done, and there was no undoing it now Derek thought.

"I will pick you up at nine thirty...sharp," he said.

She told him she would be waiting and hung up the phone.

Derek sat there on his front porch step feeling the guilt start to creep in. He looked at her name in his phone, he was just about to tap his finger on it to call her back and apologize for his mistake. That's when the camera that he had sat on the driver's side back seat literally flung through the air, and to the ground. Derek had left the door ajar, but he knew for sure he had sat the camera securely onto the seat. He got up and walked over to where the expensive piece of modern technology lay on ground. Expecting to see the lens shattered, he saw something else instead that stopped him dead in his tracks.

Staring up at him was a picture—one that couldn't possibly be on the camera. He had changed memory card more than six months ago, and wiped the internal memory several times before that. It was as bright and crisp as it was the day Claire took it some four years ago. It was a picture of a bracelet with an engraving on it that read Into the Mystic We Will Someday Be. It was part of a verse from an old song that they danced to—the first time they slow danced together at a friend's wedding some years ago.

Derek looked down at the picture again and read the note that Claire placed beside it. It read: What you can get me for my birthday. He picked up the camera, paused for a few seconds, and hit delete. It was gone. He sat the camera on the floor board this time—shut his back door, and slide into the driver's seat. The tears came just as they always did when he thought in depth about Claire.

Before he knew it ten minutes had passed on the clock on his car stereo—he composed himself the best he could and put the vehicle in drive. Twenty-five minutes later he was pulling into Rachel's driveway.

He was quiet for the first part of the trip. While she made small talk, he politely nodded, or smiled in response.

"Is something wrong, Derek?" Rachel finally asked.

He glanced over and saw a look of concern in her eyes.

"I'm fine, really...just a quiet driver. I'm enjoying listening to you though, so please go on," Derek said, taking his eyes from the road briefly to take in her beauty.

He couldn't help but admire her green eyes as he glanced in Rachel's direction. Her shoulder length hair was a beautiful chestnut brown color with subtle grayish blond highlights streaking in some small sections around her hairline.

Rachel was thirty-nine, but she didn't look a day over thirty—Derek had thought this since the first time he saw her. Her body reminded him of one of those fifties pin-up calendar girls. She was curvy in all the right places—something women these days didn't seem to want to be anymore, which Derek could never quite understand. To him Rachel was a perfect specimen of a healthy, beautiful woman. It was becoming very tough not to fall for her, and fall hard, but that part of him still felt like it had to fight those feelings for several reasons—even if they really weren't good reasons. He didn't want to fight it anymore though, and he knew very soon he wouldn't. All of those reasons for holding back, were becoming very weak in light of her beauty, both inside and out.

"You're making me feel like one of those annoying, mouthy broads that never shuts up here Derek. I'm doing all the talking and you are just nodding your head politely," Rachel laughed.

"I'm just taking it all in Rachel...it's been a long time since I've had the pleasure of a woman's company on a road trip. I had forgotten how you wonderful creatures can make a long drive fly by so quickly."

Derek meant the things he said to her, but some small guilty part of him didn't want to. His father crossed his mind for moment. He wondered what the old man would think about the feelings his son was starting to feel for this white woman. He knew all too well that was how his father would have referred to her. Derek ignored the way the old man had gotten into in his head right now. Finally after many years, he could do that. He was beginning to let go of his father, and the ridiculous promise he had made the old man—thanks to Rachel.

Letting go of Claire was a whole different thing altogether, but little by little it was actually becoming easier. He knew she would always be in his heart, but for now, all he wanted to do was enjoy Rachel's company. Not since Claire had he known a woman who was—in so many ways, so completely, and utterly captivating. The best part of it was: they were already close as friends so the foundation had been laid so to speak. Something else he could not deny was that she had stirred feelings in him like no other woman ever had, not even his late wife. Again he felt a little shame for knowing this to be true now. No matter how hard he had tried over the last three months; he could not name the spell that Rachel Adams had unknowingly put on him. Now his mind was back here in the cab of the SUV focusing on her words.

"Okay, if you say so," Rachel said.

She could see that Derek looked a little detached. "Earth to Derek..."

He shot her a nervous glance.

"Where were you there, buddy?" Rachel's voice had lured him back from whatever place he had been—back to reality. He looked at her—sitting no more than two feet from him. She was looking at him with a puzzled smile on her face.

"I'm...sorry Rachel. I was just trying to remember if I had locked my back door before I left," Derek lied, but it was a little white lie. Those were okay because they never caused pain to anyone. If there was one thing that Derek couldn't do, it was lie very well. Even the white lies seemed to show all over his face when he told them, and right now was no different than any other time.

"Are you sure that's all? I mean you seemed much deeper in thought than a locked door."

Rachel's questioning tone had a hint of worry in it.

"No I'm fine...I really am," he reassured her in the most sincere voice he could muster at the time. "You have my full and complete attention now, I promise."

He smiled and winked at her. He noticed that she instantly blushed at the gesture and that gave him a warm—tingling feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was suddenly overwhelmed with good feelings about the weekend, and getting to know Rachel on a deeper level.

Rachel didn't mind his promise, it was in the light of day after all. She couldn't help but blush when Derek smiled seductively, and playfully winked at her. She was still amazed that she met someone who was as kind and caring as Derek was, especially after Mike. From the moment she laid her eyes on Derek she was instantly drawn to him. She had never been attracted to black men, with the exception of maybe a few of those well-toned models you see on the magazine covers. In fairness though she had never been attracted to any other men being as she had been married for so long to the first man she ever loved. In her opinion, there was nothing wrong with being attracted to Derek, it felt as natural as breathing. It was just something that she never expected to happen. The same way one never expects their husband to cheat or their wife to die.

The past few months that she had gotten to know him better were the happiest months of her life. Rachel was having feelings for him that went way beyond friendship. She allowed herself to hope, just a little, that he was feeling the same. Happy couldn't describe what she was feeling right now. When Derek had invited her to join him today on this trip to the mountains, she had barely been able to contain herself while on the phone with him.

She couldn't help but wonder what Jan and Ken would say when they found out. She knew they would both be pretty proud of themselves. Jan especially would be more than ecstatic that her little matchmaking plan had worked. She smiled back at Derek, and when she did it she was sure she felt something pass between them—it was the faint breeze, and the unknown scent that seemed to always follow it. She knew it was the same experience she had yesterday in the old place.

Something crossed her mind when it happened. Someone else, or maybe even something else—is here with us.

As quickly as the feeling came—it was gone. Rachel brushed it off as nervousness on her part and continued her conversation with, or actually to Derek as he drove the last ten miles of the trip.

When they arrived at the cabin at approximately eleven thirty that morning—in typical female fashion the first thing Rachel did was ask for directions to the bathroom. After that, Derek gave her a tour of the place and told her to pick a room.

"No sir, you choose first...this is your deal. Where do you usually camp out?"

After he pointed in the direction to the room on his left, she nodded, and chose the one next to it. After they unpacked, Derek suggested they take a ride into town to grab some lunch.

"Yes, I'm starving!" she answered playfully.

After a quick change of clothes they made their way back up the winding roads out of the valley, and into town. The place he chose was a quaint little diner on the edge of a steep hill that overlooked a small lake.

"I see now why you come here so often Derek, it's beautiful everywhere!" Rachel said. Her emerald green eyes were beaming with excitement.

"Wait until you see the water fall later," he teased. He thought she looked like a kid who had just been given the keys to an amusement park for a day.

"Are you serious Derek? I mean...we can get to it by car. Please don't tell me we have to hike to it...do we? I hate hiking...even though I think I would do it to see a waterfall!"

"Well unfortunately for you, we have to hike," he said.

She grimaced at the thought, but just a little.

"You'll survive," Derek laughed, "it's only about a mile from the cabin, if that far."

The look of anticipation filled her beautiful eyes again.

For the remainder of the lunch they exchanged mostly small talk. Eventually they both noticed the looks they were getting from the elderly patrons in the diner. It was those investigative kind of stares that told the receiver of them—you are definitely under my invisible microscope.

At one point the patrons of the place became so consumed by the couple in the far corner booth that Rachel leaned across the table and asked Derek if it was because she was one of the only females in the place.

The idea that a woman was worrying that she was the minority at a family diner in the Georgia Mountains struck Derek as hilarious. He couldn't contain his laughter, and after he explained the humor that he found in her question, Rachel joined in.

"Well you never know in these parts of the country...more than likely I'm sure it's the difference in our skin colors," she replied feeling a little saddened by the thought.

She blushed, remembering her great foot-in-mouth trick the first night they met. It never ceased to amaze Rachel that she sometimes seemed to inadvertently turn into a blushing school girl in Derek's presence.

"Well I'm sure they will survive their culture shock," Derek said playfully.

After lunch they made a stop at the local grocery store for supplies, and headed back to the cabin, and then the waterfalls for most of the day.

They had put their swimsuits under their jeans and t-shirts they changed into—just in case the water was still warm enough from the unseasonably hot summer the mountains had saw. Shortly after two o'clock the two of them set out for the short hike to the falls. After making their way through the underbrush, and up a small foothill—they came to the clearing.

In front of them, about two-hundred feet away, was the most breathtaking waterfall Rachel had ever seen with her own eyes. It emptied into an equally beautiful bed of water.

"You didn't lie, Derek, it's...wonderful!"

"I knew you would love it," Derek told her. He was surprised however; by her hugging his neck like he had just given her something so precious that words were somehow not enough for.

She looked up at him and kissed him on the cheek. She wasn't quite sure why she had done it, but she was glad she did. The deed of a first kiss was done, even though it was a kiss on the cheek.

She felt a hint of embarrassment, but those feelings were quickly squashed out by his smile.

"Well, that's the first time I've been kissed in about two years...and that one was from my sister."

"Well there's more where that came from if I get to swim in this fabulous water!" Rachel teased back.

Five minutes later they were both standing on a small ledge at the foot of the falls. Seeing a slight look of fear on Rachel's face, Derek felt he needed to assure her it was perfectly safe.

"I've made this jump many times in the past couple years," he told Rachel just before picking her up and going in with her cradled in his arms. The jump wasn't a long way down or he would have never attempted going in that way for fear of hurting her. Once they hit the water, he let go of her. She came up screaming with laughter.

"Oh my God...I can't believe you did that!" Rachel said, splashing him.

The water was a little on the cool side, but felt great in the warmth of the day. Even though it was September, there were still some remnants of summer heat in the air. They spent hours swimming, and exploring the falls. Afterward, Rachel and Derek soaked up the sun on one of the banks by the water.

After talking for a long time, Rachel decided it was time to open up to him a little. She would take it slow, though, only telling him some of her secrets. One of the things she did tell him was what had happened at her old house the day before. After she had finished, Derek sat and quietly absorbed it all in.

"Too much, too soon?" Rachel asked him in a nervous voice. "I mean I know it's a lot to take in Derek, but I needed to tell someone. Ever since my brother and my grandmother died, I have never talked about these things to anyone...not even my ex. There is something about you Derek that I trust...I see it every time I look at you. I trust you more than I ever have anyone...even my grandmother. Please say something."

He started to say something and then stopped. He stood up, reached down for her hand and pulled her up.

"Follow me," he told her as he once again led her into the water with him.

He disappeared below the surface for a second. When he came up out of the water, he looked at her, and could see that she needed to hear some kind of words of reassurance from him. She needed to know that she was not losing her mind. He believed her—in some crazy way he knew that everything she had told him was the truth. He knew he needed to speak from his heart.

"Rachel, I haven't known you that long, but what I do know already is that you are a genuinely good person. You're a woman that I want to know everything about...even the things that aren't all wrapped up in a pretty little package. I feel a connection to you in some crazy unexplainable way that I don't understand. I feel like I've known you all my life...maybe even longer. What you just told me up there by those rocks is something that I don't know...that I would swear I believe in."

He paused, and when he saw a look of bewilderment starting to show on her face, he quickly added.

"It doesn't mean that I don't believe what you've just told me is true for you."

He paused again to collect his thoughts, and began to speak once more.

"You really haven't gotten into much detail about all of this. I mean you say that you feel things and sometimes hear things...this only happens when you visit your childhood home?"

"Mostly," she answered. She started to say something, but thought better of it.

"Mostly?" Derek asked her.

"Never mind it's just...I mean, I don't want to get into it all right now. It's too much. I just needed to say it out loud to someone. I had to finally tell someone, so I don't go crazy."

Derek had noticed before now that Rachel tended to laugh nervously whenever she was finished talking about something she didn't want to. He took caution to speak carefully now.

"I hope when you get to know me even better you will trust me with more Rachel. You are so intriguing, to me, and I'm not as closed minded as I use to be. I think I owe that to you. We have known each other for almost four months now, and in that time I can tell you this...you have completely enlightened me more than you know."

Rachel stood in the clear blue water listening to his words. While Derek spoke, she was repeatedly beating herself up in her mind for having shared even the smallest fragments of the entire package that was her confusing crazy life.

What was I thinking? Now he just thinks that I am some kind of crack-pot. He couldn't possibly understand any of the things I've told him even though I only told him a little, I only scraped the surface. It was as if some antagonizing other person were in her head.

Had you told him all of it he would already be back at the cabin packing his clothes back in his bags and getting the hell out of here and far away from you!

Rachel's mental beating was cut short by something that utterly shocked her, and at the same time brought an amazing feeling of calm to her soul.

Derek, who had been standing just inches from her in the cool water suddenly stopped talking, reached for her—took her face in his hands, and kissed her on the forehead. It was the way someone would do it if they were offering comfort to someone they cared about a great deal. He then kissed her softly on her cheek so close to her lips that she could taste the sweetness of his breath.

In doing this, he succeeded at two things: the first was giving Rachel the comfort she desperately needed at the time, and the second thing, was making her fall even more in love with him.

# CHAPTER THIRTEEN

That evening Rachel relaxed on the back deck watching the man she was falling deeply in love with, fish from the stream that ran along the rear of the cabin. She couldn't help but wonder if the things she had told him had maybe made him wish he had just made this trip alone though. She hoped not, because right now in this moment she was happier, and felt more at peace than she had in a long time. She leaned over the banister as Derek looked up, and motioned her to come down and join him.

"In a minute," she yelled down to him.

Right now, she just wanted to soak up the view of him. He had a body that made her think of all the things she wanted to do to it. She wondered why, during all their small talk over the past few months—she had never asked just how tall he was. Checking him out now—she guessed his muscular frame stood at least six-foot-three or four.

"He has to be...he's a good six inches taller than me, and I'm no shorty. He should be playing pro football with that body," she said to herself.

She knew she needed to put the brakes on in her lustful mind right now. It was going places it didn't need to go yet. Still she couldn't help but watch the rhythm of his perfectly chiseled arms as he continued to cast his line in the stream. She had always loved strong arms on a man, but had never really known why. Her father never embraced her that she could ever remember, so it wasn't that. Mike's had never been anything to get excited over. Derek's arms were a different story, from that first night she had kept fantasizing about being wrapped up in them.

I would love to be in those strong arms right now, she thought while watching him cast his line back again into the water after throwing his third trout into the ice cooler. I wonder if he has any idea just how I feel about him. Does he feel the same? Would he tell me if he did? Am I imagining the loving way he looks at me?

Her mind was reeling now from so much Derek, so she stood up and slipped on her shoes, and went to the stream to join him.

As he fished, Derek thought about the things that Rachel had confided in him earlier at the falls. He had a sinking feeling that everything she had told him was real for her. He knew her well enough by now to know that she wouldn't make something like that up. He knew she wouldn't do that sort of thing, but for Derek all the supernatural stuff was something that only horror movies were made of. He was a skeptic, but he couldn't help but remember the time as a young boy when he was sure that he had seen a ghost once.

It was the time he almost lost his life by the river—the time his dog somehow miraculously pulled him back from the certain death that awaited him in those raging waters. For a split second back then, Derek had been sure he had seen hands gripping the dog's midsection. He had always chalked it up to some kind of adrenaline induced mirage of sorts. However, after hearing about Rachel's encounters with the unexplained he wasn't so sure. Somehow he knew more than he ever had known, that there are things that cannot be explained; at least not without some investigating.

Don't look too long into the vastness of the universe...something may see you looking. He remembered it as clear as day now—from the dream he had months ago.

He put it out of his mind and looked back up at her on the deck as she admired the view of the mountains. For a second he thought he caught her admiring the view of him as well. He couldn't help but let his mind wonder. He imagined kissing her and holding her, and in that moment he remembered what it felt like to be falling for someone even though you didn't want to. It reminded him of his college days and Carla.

You were a kid then...and under your father's thumb. It's about time you let go of all that and live for yourself now don't you think? He knew that voice of reason inside his head couldn't be more right—but still a part of him was torn.

Once again, he let his mind wonder back to the brown haired beauty on the deck, and all of the mysteries he knew she possessed inside and out. He motioned again for her to join him because he wanted her close to him. He loved the smell of her; it was like exotic flowers mixed with some unknown scent that was beyond anything he could name. He also loved the way she looked at him. He couldn't seem to get enough of those green eyes staring at him.

Finally, she descended the stairs and joined him by the stream. He reached out his hand for her as he guided her over the slippery stones in the creek bed. She grasped his hand as if she trusted him with her life.

"Derek," she spoke when she was by his side, "I hope that I didn't scare you back at the falls...I just needed so badly to tell someone. I was going to try to talk to Jan last night about it again, but she's out of town, and I knew I couldn't possibly make her understand over the phone. She never understood before."

Derek made an odd face at this notion, as if he was appalled that Jan never accepted this part of Rachel.

"So...that's why I called you this morning," Rachel continued. "You were the only other person except for her Derek...the only one that I have ever wanted to share any of it with since my brother. I know that we haven't known each other that long, but we have really gotten close in the time that we have. I really feel like I can trust you with this."

She was trying to read his face but couldn't.

He smiled, then leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"I'm not going to catch any fish with you talking so loud, woman."

Rachel smiled at him—took his hand in hers and mouthed the words: Thank you.

He winked at her again for the second time that day, her heart fluttered just a little.

She knew she could trust him, but more than that she knew that for some reason, he believed everything she had told him. As she watched him fish she realized she was more than happy that she had been invited on this trip, and she found herself wishing it could last longer.

Over dinner that night, Derek shared more with Rachel about Claire, and how she died. He didn't tell her everything, but most of the important things that he could talk about he did. He also told Rachel a lot more than he had before about his father, and his first love. He told her about the time he almost died, and what he thought he had seen back then.

She opened up more to him as well about her father, her brother, and her mother. She didn't tell him the details of her mother's sickness, or that she had her mother committed—that was too painful for her to share at that point in time. She did; however, tell Derek all the sorted details of her previous marriage—she no longer held any pain from that part of her past.

Derek was lost for words when she told him of how Mike had a vasectomy during in their marriage, and never told her.

"He said he did it because he had never truly wanted children. He had it done long before we ever separated. I never would have known had Joanna not told me in the heat of an argument once. It probably wasn't even something he needed to do anyway."

"Why do you say that?" Derek asked.

"I found out around the age of thirty-two that getting pregnant would be nearly impossible for me to begin with. Something to do with a hostile uterus was what the doctor told me."

Derek saw the extreme sadness wash over her face as she shared the painful information with him. She also told him about how she had wanted to adopt, but that Mike had refused as he always did, claiming that he wanted his own child, and that it would happen in time.

"Of course that was all lies—he was never going to give me a child. I hated him so much for so long that it consumed me. Finally one day I just laid it all down, and I never picked it back up again."

Derek listened to one bad story after another, all of which revealed that Rachel's past was a mixture of sadness and anger. Having heard it all, he wondered how the hell she was a sane woman. He knew his life had been no breeze, but to have lived through all the pain and lies—not to mention betrayal that she had endured—was beyond his comprehension. He couldn't help but have great respect for her strength. She had to be one of the strongest people he had ever met.

"So, that's pretty much all of my crazy, cracked up life in a nut shell." Rachel lied, but for her own reasons, there was so much more to tell, "Do you still want to close your eyes tonight with me around?"

They both burst out laughing after she asked.

"No," Derek replied, then added, "I'm kidding Rachel...you really are one of the greatest people I have met in a very long time. Woman, you are a fighter...you are a warrior of some kind!"

Derek laughed after having said it, but at the same time he couldn't have been more serious. He thought long and hard before he spoke again. He didn't want to push.

"Can I ask you something Rachel...about what you told me earlier at the falls?"

Rachel studied his face for a minute, and then told him that he could ask her anything at all. She knew that wasn't entirely true though, and if he dug too deep she would have to lie to him again, even though she didn't want to—she would have to. At this point in their friendship—or relationship, which ever it was now—Rachel knew that it was still too soon to tell him everything about herself.

Derek looked at her for a moment, and then he smiled.

"I feel kind of silly asking this but...do you feel anyone, or anything with us here...in the cabin? I guess what I'm asking is: do you feel them just in certain places, or are you like one of those mediums on television that goes into a salon or grocery store, then suddenly, you are hearing, or seeing a bunch of dead people? I mean I know you said you mostly feel things in the house, but what about other places"

Rachel almost thought he was being condescending, but then she saw his eyes, and she knew him well enough to know that he was being completely serious with her. She too chose her words carefully now, so she would not come off sounding like a smart ass.

"Derek," she began and then stopped again. She walked over from where she had been leaning on the counter and sat down by him on the sofa.

"How do I explain this without sounding like some flighty nut job?" Rachel laughed as she said it to him.

Derek was smiling at her then and she noticed that he had a look of total trust. That was the first time that she knew for sure that she loved him, and at that second she decided to be as honest as she possibly could.

"I don't want to lie to you Derek, so I'm not going to. But...I'm not comfortable sharing every single part of this thing with you yet. Can you understand that? Can you be patient with me, and trust that I will tell you everything in time?"

He took her hands in his own.

"I totally understand where you are coming from...I know it's a lot, and I'm not going to pressure you. When you are ready, I am here."

She could see though that he wanted—maybe even needed—a response to his question.

"What I can tell you is no, I am not a medium, or a clairvoyant, and I'm sure as hell not psychic...or else my ex-husband would have never gotten away with screwing around on me for the better part of our marriage."

She laughed as she said it, but Derek could see the remains of the pain that man had left her. She went on to tell him that she felt things, and she sometimes thought she heard things, but that all of it was mostly isolated to the home that she grew up in. She didn't tell him that lately, that had changed.

Rachel told him that it had started during her childhood, but it never reached a point of being uncontrollable for her. It never frightened or scared her in anyway.

"It really has no bearing on my life at all, unless I let it, and to be honest...I have a time or two, but I'd rather not talk about that right now."

He thought her voice sounded almost angry if not a little infuriated even.

"Derek I'm not a whack job, I can assure you of that much. I don't go around freaking people out talking to their relatives that have passed. I don't have some kind of spiritual guide or tie to the other side...I'm just sensitive to some things, and some people. This is why I've never told anyone. Like I told you before, I've started to tell Jan a few times. Frankly speaking, I really don't think she could handle it, much less believe it. She's a very literal kind of person you know...if it doesn't have a name it's not real. I guess I'm at fault myself sometimes. When I start being questioned too much I tend to clam up about it. The thing is Derek, I just don't trust people with my innermost thoughts anymore...not at all."

Rachel tried to study Derek's face, but he was looking down at the floor as if he were pondering something. He looked up when he felt her gaze.

"If you feel that way then, why tell me? I mean...why did you trust me Rachel?"

She leaned in, and placed a long lingering kiss on his lips.

"Because you are different...I would trust you with my life Derek. I know in my heart that you won't let me fall...ever. Something else I know....is that you would never judge me. Somehow I knew that you would believe me. Goodnight Derek."

She stood up, and as she did he grasped her hand, she looked down—and saw that he was looking up at her with a look of utter confusion on his face.

"Why did you do that?" he whispered.

"Because you wanted me to...I read your mind."

Derek stared at her while she walked toward the stairs. He was about to call after her, but suddenly she turned back toward him.

"Gotcha!" she yelled.

Derek sprang off the sofa, and chased her up the stairs and into her bedroom. He threw her playfully onto the bed and began tickling her with no mercy. After a few seconds of torturing her with laughter, Derek fell onto the bed beside her.

"What are we doing?" he asked her breathlessly.

She turned to face him while propping up on her elbow.

"I'm not sure I know myself Derek, but I do know that I have feelings for you, and I'm getting tired of denying it. I also know that I don't want our friendship to ever be hurt, so I think we need to be really careful here."

She was looking at him, but he was staring at the ceiling. She thought that maybe he had not gotten to the place that she was in the relationship yet, and she understood why.

While she had so many ghosts in her past, he had so many still in his present that he couldn't seem to let go of. She knew it was both Claire, and his father that were holding him back. Even though she didn't agree with the part about his father, she understood him having apprehensions about moving on and getting past Claire.

"Listen to me, Derek. If I am not the person you can see yourself with I understand. I mean it. I don't want you to feel like you have to be more than just my friend. It will hurt, of course, but I will be fine. I've gotten over much worse, I swear to you I won't be bitter about it. I could never hate you."

She started to say something else, but was quieted by his lips on hers.

He was kissing her like she had never been kissed before by any man. He pulled her on top of him and was caressing her lower back, she could feel him against her. She felt an intense desire for Derek, but for some reason that she didn't understand Rachel did something she hadn't expected to do—she got off of him and sat up.

He sat up beside her instantly asking if he had done something wrong. She assured him he hadn't—she had no idea why she had stopped. It was as if something had made her stop. She laid back down beside him and asked him to hold her. He gladly did as she asked, but he desperately wanted to do so much more.

It had been so long since he had been with a woman. He had been on two dates in the past year, and even both women had offered casual sex, he had declined. With Rachel it was different, though. He not only wanted her more than anything in that moment, he needed her more than anything. It was as if something else was in control of him again. He didn't mind it: he just didn't completely understand it. Suddenly it was like Rachel was speaking to him from some far off place, but she was right there beside of him.

"Derek, I just want to know that you are sure. I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything just to make me feel better."

Derek sat up and looked down at her.

"What am I doing?" he asked, his voice trailing off. "Rachel I'm sorry...I'm so sorry I just can't. I have to go."

He got up and left her room. Rachel was clueless about what had just happened. It was as if Derek had been overcome by something.

She got up, and went to sit by the window. As she looked out onto the moonlight, and how it glistened on the stream below, she wanted to cry. The thoughts that played in her mind were: once again a man that she loved did not want her, and she had pushed him too far too soon.

Derek went to his room, grabbed a towel, and went down to the hot tub on the deck. He pulled off his t-shirt and jeans, and climbed into the hot bubbling water letting—all of his body relax. He knew that he wanted her badly, but he felt like he was moving too fast, like he was rushing her. They had been alone together before, but he had never felt such a strong urge to be with her. The way he felt on the bed with Rachel, was something he had never experienced—not even with Claire. Then, he realized what it was that had stopped him. He could feel that Rachel wasn't sure of what was happening, and at the same time he felt that even if she wasn't he was going to do what he wanted to do either way. That's what had made him stop—he had never had urges that strong, and it scared the hell out of him.

"I was so consumed with wanting her that I think I would have made her let me if I hadn't stopped myself...maybe it was just the heat of the moment," he tried to assure himself.

These thoughts made him sick to his stomach. He leaned over the railing because he thought he might vomit, but he didn't. He sat back down in the hot tub.

"I need to talk to her I need to make her understand, it wasn't her. She's had enough pain in her life, and I sure as hell don't want to be the cause of anymore of it," he said to himself as he tried to relax.

His mind then went to his father, and a memory that had long been erased. Unknown as it was, it came back to him nonetheless. He could hear his father saying something to him—he knew he couldn't have been more than four of five at the time. The old man was saying something about a purpose.

"You are what you are, and I can't help that none son. You got it from that damn mother of yours."

That it was it—nothing more. The memory faded as quickly and mysteriously as it had come. Derek thought only of Rachel now.

I'm falling in love with you, Rachel Adams...and to hell with a stupid promise I made to appease a hateful old man who never really loved me, not the way a father is supposed to love their son at least.

He picked up his glass of bourbon he had made on his way out, and took a long hard sip.

Why don't you just leave me alone old man...go back to the hell I'm sure you're ruling. I'm forty-fucking-two years old. I think I've earned the right to live my own life.

For the first time in his life, Derek felt completely free from the control his father had held over him for so many years. Without him even realizing it, she had given him something no other woman—not even Claire had been able to. Rachel had given him the will to live his own life—the gift of being able to be himself. She made no demands on him to prove things to her, and she accepted him, even with all his flaws. He knew then and there that he wasn't falling in love with her. He was in love with her.

Just as he turned to get out of the hot tub he heard her voice behind him.

"I'm so sorry Derek...I knew I was rushing you, and I just kept on. I wanted you to feel the way I do, and that's not fair. I can't force you to feel something that you're not ready to. I called a taxi to come and pick me up but—"

"Call them back, you aren't going anywhere...except hopefully in here with me."

His words sent a shiver through her—a warm flutter that rushed from her neck to her thighs.

"Well, I was going to say they told me they didn't take calls this far away after dark," Rachel told him as she stood before him trembling uncontrollably.

"Come here to me...please, let me explain."

"You don't have to explain anything Derek I under—"

"I love you," he interrupted. He was looking up at her like his life depended on her knowing this. She could see the fear in his eyes but she could also see something much stronger—she saw truth.

"I love you," he said again, "I never thought that I could fall in love with you, because of all the stupid ideals that were drilled into my brain for so many years...and also because of the fear that I've had of letting go. You have made me see beyond all that though Rachel. You have more power over me than my father ever did, you have more power over me than anyone ever has, but in a good way...in a way that I want as much as I want you."

Derek's words were absolutely hypnotizing to her as she stood there in the moonlight absorbing them. In her entire lifetime, she had never had a man say these kind of things to her. She had never known a man like Derek—her brother was a good man, but that was different. Rachel was aware at that moment that Derek was the last man she ever wanted to know this way. She knew with all of her soul—that she had fallen in love with a man for the last time in her life. She looked down at him, her eyes reflecting the moonlight in a way that made him want her more.

"I love you too Derek...more than you will ever know," she said with a trembling voice. Hot tears spilled out of her eyes and onto her cheeks.

He reached out his hand for hers and she took it. That was the beginning for Rachel. It was the first time in her life that she knew there was someone in the world—someone who now knew most of her secrets, but was capable of understanding, and seeing past them and loving her—the real her.

She sat down beside him in the hot tub, and rested her head on his chest. How a man could make her heart go from one extreme to the next in such a short period of time was beyond her. Twenty minutes ago, she was prepared to walk out his life forever and now she couldn't bear the thought of it. As they gazed up at the night sky, he slipped his hand around her waist and pulled her close to him.

"Swear to me we will always have each other. I can't stand the thought of being without you, Rachel. Your friendship means so much to me...the way you make me feel when we are together just being ourselves with each other is something I always want to have. Tell me you aren't going to share something with me about yourself someday that will make me feel any different."

She looked up at him and saw the sincerity on his face.

"Derek, whatever it is that you are afraid I'm hiding...is not what you may be thinking. There are no skeletons buried in my back yard. The things I don't want to share with you right now aren't bad things...at least as far as I know they aren't. It's for my own reasons, you have to know that. There are just some things that I need to come to terms with myself first. I have locked away so much inside my own mind...that I need to find the secrets myself before I can tell them to you. Can you understand that? I mean, does that make sense at all?"

Derek thought about what she had said for a minute, and then he realized that he could live with just about anything she had to tell him. He had his own spiritual awakenings tonight about his father, so of course he could identify with her.

"I understand Rachel...more than you could know."

She put her arms around his neck and held onto him and whispered in his ear.

"Wanna continue upstairs where we left off?"

Derek smiled and lifted Rachel's t-shirt and bra, exposing her bare breast.

Her laughter echoed throughout the valley—it was intoxicating to him and he wanted to get drunk off of it. They dried off in a hurry in the cool night air, and he scooped her up in his arms. They made it as far as the huge plush rug that lay on the floor in front of the gas fireplace.

He laid her back onto the soft surface and began kissing first her neck, and then her breast while tracing his fingertips along her hip bone to her navel, and then farther down, parting her thighs.

He touched her in ways that she had never been touched by a man's hands. She had always thought that only women knew their bodies this way, but Derek had been clued in well by some female in his past. It made her wish she could thank the woman who had taught him such wonderful secrets.

The pure ecstasy Rachel felt while they made love exploded from within her in mere seconds. It had been more years than she could remember since she had felt any kind of passion with a man. For Rachel, there was nothing that compared to Derek's touch—the touch of a man that truly loved you. She hadn't felt anything like what she was feeling right now. During her marriage to Mike, he had never made her feel this way—not even once. He had been the only other man she had ever been with intimately, and this was so much different—so much more surreal.

As they moved in a slow sensual rhythm with one another they both felt as though the world had somehow slipped away. In that moment only their love and the intense heat of their passion existed for either of them.

For Derek, their first time being intimate was more than he had ever imagined it could be. Rachel made him feel things that night he had never felt as well. It was a love like he had never known. Afterward, it made him feel a faint feeling of guilt deep inside because he had never experienced this passion with Claire—or any woman for that matter. It was as though she were taking him inside her soul as well as her body. When he was inside of her, he could feel her so intensely that it frightened him, and drove him crazy with pleasure at the same time.

To say that their lovemaking was earth shattering was putting it lightly. It was almost cosmic, like an out of body experience for them both. When Derek finally couldn't hold on any longer and let go, it was as if a literal dam had broken, as well as a figurative one in his soul. He fought off his emotions as he rested his face in the nape of her neck.

"Are you okay?" she asked him as she stroked his muscular back.

"Baby, I'm better than okay...better than I've been in a long time. You amazing woman, you...what did you do to me? I feel like I'm high. You're like a drug, and I'm a junkie from one hit!"

He started to laugh a little as he lifted his face up from her neck. He stared deeply into her eyes, and what he saw there made him feel complete. She laughed, and smacked his muscular derriere.

"Oh you want to get to the spankings so soon?" he asked, grinning as he moved his hips against hers.

When she looked up at him, he noticed sadness had crept into her eyes.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" Derek asked puzzled.

Rachel shook her head.

"I've never had this," she said.

"Never had what, baby?"

She loved him calling her baby. She had never heard terms of endearment that sounded so true from Mike.

"This kind of lovemaking...I mean with my ex. We never even really talked afterward, he usually just rolled over and went to sleep. He was the only other man I've ever been with so I didn't know it could be like this Derek. I didn't know I could feel the things you made me feel."

Rachel was smiling now, as he moved off of her, and pulled her to him so close she could hear his heart beating. She loved the sound it made in his broad chest. They eventually made their way upstairs and showered together, where they made love once again. They finally collapsed into the king-sized bed in the master bedroom that neither of them had originally chosen to sleep in. He held her until they both drifted off. That night, Rachel slept a deep, uninterrupted sleep—something she hadn't done in years.

# CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Somewhere, in another part of the world, it was waiting—hibernating in its dormant state until the time came. It could feel that it was approaching—soon. Knowing that its work would begin in the near future made being sent to this dismal, inferior place so long ago a little more tolerable.

The process of taking over, and eventually devouring a human mind was exquisitely delicious to say the least. For now, it knew what it must do. There was an order to things, for now, it would remain hidden—unseen from the world.

The waiting was always the hardest part, but it was the way it had to be. Until the great one, and the ones that brought it into this world are discovered, there was nothing else to do other than to wait, and to feed—feeding was almost just as enjoyable.

It was all so easy in this place—to slip out and find a meal—one that would sustain it for quite some time. Finding food in this pathetic corner of this world offered little challenge at best, especially with the abundant supply of vagrants that littered the streets. No one ever missed the forgotten ones. The meal it had consumed once shortly after arriving here had been a man so consumed of alcohol that even a monstrous being like itself felt intoxicated afterward. It fed with a bit more discretion after that.

If soon the great one's identity was not made known, it would have no other choice than to feed again as it always did. The great ones that were created from the others had the abilities to hide their true bloodlines sometimes and this made it difficult to hunt them at times. Possessing someone to seek out the others was always an idea, but it knew that idea must wait.

All that was important now was ending the great one's life, and leaving this wasteland to return home, and relinquish its powers to another. When the cycle started again, it would be time to choose a younger warrior to come here, and take care of ending another great one before they came to be.

There had been many failed assassination attempts of great ones throughout history, but never any on its watch. Sometimes the whole ordeal could be quite tiresome, and when failure happened it made for a long journey back to the dead lands for a defeated warrior. Even worse, sometimes warriors never made it back. Sometimes, they were annihilated in this petty, little place.

If it had to show itself, it would, but that usually only happened when having to use someone to do your dirty work. There was little more that was as enjoyable as seeing the terror that filled their eyes when they were being driven stark, raving mad. Of course, great ones were not the only ones that its kind had sought to destroy throughout time—there had been others. However, it knew its bloodlust could not compare to that of The Master. The dark goliath that was its Lord seemed to relish in the destruction of great ones more than any other, because to him they were the most favored of all of God's creatures.

All of this contemplating made it exhausted, so it decided the time was now for its meal. With that, the ancient warrior began its hunt, and it didn't take long to find exactly what it needed. It knew that if the great one surfaced soon, feeding would not be necessary again until it found its human host—and the great one's vessel. It longed for the pleasure that would be felt while possessing its host. For now, though the warrior knew it was too soon. There was a window of time and it could not miss it. That would result in failure, and that was something that was not acceptable to the master.

So for now it would sleep again until The Master had awakened. He was the all-powerful one that knew when the time would be upon it. Then, its final, most enjoyable kill would begin. If it succeeded in ending this particular great one's life its mission would be complete, and the reward would be undeniably satisfying. It was going to stop at nothing to do what must be done.

# CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The next morning, Derek awoke to something he hadn't in years—someone else's hand besides his own, resting between his thighs.

"Morning," Rachel said to him as she disappeared under the covers.

Forty-five minutes later, they were once again lying in each other's arms, exhausted.

"Should we be using protection?" she asked, feeling like a girl in high school.

"It's a little late for that don't you think?" Derek replied to her jokingly.

Rachel leaned up on his chest and asked. "Have you ever been tested?"

"Seriously?" Derek asked. "That is a very odd question to ask, at least after the fact."

She looked at him like he was crazy for a second, but then recalled that Derek had not been through a situation quite like she had.

"I'm sorry...it's just that...I had every test that existed done after Mike and I split up. Then I had them all done again a year later just for good measure as I continued to find out about his infidelities."

"And?" Derek asked, smiling at her.

"And...I'm fine, silly! Don't you think I would have told you if there were any issues at all with my business? I mean I chalked it up to luck, and the fact that the amount of times Mike and I had sex you could probably count on just a few peoples' fingers and toes."

"So basically, what you're telling me here Rachel is that your vagina is basically showroom new?"

"Sure enough buddy...it still has the original factory warranty on it," she replied without missing a beat. "Now, if you are done making fun of me and my like new condition lady parts, can you answer my question, Mr. Man?"

"Yes ma'am I have been tested and I am happy to say I passed with an A+...the ole boy is as clean as a whistle," he said looking down between his thighs, and continued, "Don't you think that I would have told you if there were any issues with my business?"

Derek was now sarcastically batting his long lashes at her, like a shy school girl.

"Your humor is unrelenting my dear. I think I'll take a nice, hot bath in that huge tub if you're done having fun...but I'm glad to know you're clean."

She kissed his nose and trotted off to the bathroom. While she slipped into the hot bubbly water, he stood in the doorway enjoying the view.

"Can I ask you something Rachel?"

"You can ask me anything and I will answer you as honestly as I can."

"Why did you ever marry him...if he was so awful to you?"

Rachel thought for a second before answering.

"I was all alone. I had no one except a grandmother who traveled...a lot. When I met him, he was great in the beginning...he didn't change until later on."

Rachel began to feel conflicted, but knew she had to let everything out.

"He told me he loved me and I believed him...I think he had found out around town about the money that I had inherited and that's really why he married me. I guess my whole entire marriage, unlike yours, was a complete and total lie."

"Claire and I both got tested before we were married...then I was tested about a year after she died. I never really completely answered your question. I've been tested twice."

He knew Rachel would question him, and he didn't really want to relive it but he would—for her. To let her know that not even the most perfect marriages are bulletproof. She didn't even have to ask before he explained.

"Claire had gone on a couple trips back to her home town to take care of some family business. The day she was killed she was there. She called me and told me she was going to be running late...that there was something she had to take care of before she left."

Derek's face twisted slightly, his demeanor growing a little bit angrier.

"She called me again two hours later when she got on the highway, and when I asked what the pressing matter was. She just sort of blew me off. The accident happened somewhere between two and five minutes after she hung up with me. About three weeks after her death, I looked on our cell phone bill for some crazy reason, and there was a number that she had called several times with a South Carolina area code. When I called it a man answered, and I just hung up. I didn't want to know, and I still don't. If she did it, she did it, but I hope that wasn't the case. Anyway, I had a complete series of tests done after her death. Like you said...just to be on the safe side."

Rachel sat up in the tub.

"I don't think she was cheating on you...that's insane."

"How could you possibly know that?"

He was sliding into the huge tub behind her now, and she turned to face him.

"Because no woman in her right mind would ever think that there was a better man than you out there anywhere...it's that simple."

"Be careful, Ms. Adams...you just might be labeled a sweet-talker there. Besides, I'm not all that great. I snore a little when I'm really tired."

He brushed her cheek with his fingers.

"Rachel, there's something else you mentioned about not being able to have children. Are you absolutely sure?"

"I'm pretty sure we are safe in the birth control department, Derek. A fertility doctor, who was one of Mike's legitimate clients, examined me years ago. He concluded that it would be virtually impossible for me to conceive after the miscarriage I suffered about five years into our marriage. He told us I had a lot of scar tissue and a very acidic uterus on top of that."

She started to say more, but Derek interrupted her.

"Rachel I may be an animal doctor, but I know a few things about the human body as well. I think your ex-husband's friend may have been a little less than thorough with you. The problems you described may have been treatable. They aren't deal breakers when it comes to conceiving."

He could see that the information upset her, knowing that it was just another manipulative act of betrayal on her ex-husband's part.

"Mike had driven it so far into my head that I would never get pregnant that I never even bothered to research it. Looking back I think I loved being blind where he was concerned...it was easier. I eventually just gave up on the idea of having a baby."

Rachel put her face in her hands then ran her fingers through her wet hair.

"I've never hated anybody until him, you know."

She said it with utter sincerity.

"I'm so sorry Rachel."

The words came from his heart—they always would where she was concerned.

"Did you ever want children?" She asked him as she stood up to shower off.

He marveled at the way the soapy bubbles covered all the important parts of her naked body; like they had been placed there strategically.

"Yes...I did," he said standing up, "I still do, but it's not a deal breaker for me. I mean, I am forty-two."

She didn't say anything, but just looked at him because she really didn't know how to respond. A stinging pain of sadness surfaced in her.

The pain was from the thought that she couldn't give the man she loved something that he wanted.

I'm too old now...I'll be forty in a few months; my time is running out too quickly to fix anything. Just another thing that sorry asshole robbed me of.

Rachel had wanted a baby for as long as she could remember; however, she had come to terms with the fact that it was not in the cards for her long ago. Knowing that Derek would now be affected by her struggles broke her heart just a little.

He held her there in the shower for a long time. Derek could feel her sadness and he knew where it was coming from. While standing there with her, Derek could not help but think he could truly feel what Rachel was feeling inside. It was as if he could read her thoughts—or more like they were on the same psychic wavelength.

As she let the warm water and Derek's arms wash away all of the bad memories and regrets, a strange thing occurred to her. She was almost sure he could physically feel the pain she was feeling right now.

That's not possible, she told herself. Grammy was the only person that could feel my pain that way.

She kissed his neck and then his chest and held onto him for just a little while. She wished they could stay right here forever. He felt the exact same way.

Later they went back into town. Derek wanted to take Rachel to an old antique and collectable shop that bordered the edge of the mountains.

"It's a magical place inside...you can almost feel the ghosts."

Rachel found it odd that he would want to take her there given her circumstances, but she went, and found the place to be just as he had described.

The train ride that ran through ten miles of mountains was a different story. Rachel took in the beauty while Derek snapped away on his camera.

At the end of the day, it took a good thirty minutes to convince Rachel to get onto a ski lift that took them back to the other side of the mountain. There, they enjoyed a moon-lit dinner for two at an inn that was nestled on the side of the mountain. In the garden behind the place, the two of them slow danced to the tunes of a local blues band. While they swayed to the music Derek whispered in Rachel's ear.

"You know that I'm loving you a little more with each passing minute?"

Looking up into his eyes, she thought intently.

He has eyes that belong to a beautiful soul.

She wondered, once again—how she had been lucky enough to meet, and fall in love with someone as wonderful as him. She kissed his cheek and whispered back to him.

"I'm beginning to think that I've loved you for an eternity Derek...the love that I have for you goes beyond anything that I can explain. It's more than a few months of loving you, it's as if I've loved you before, and it's been reignited somehow. Is that crazy sounding Derek?"

"No, my love. That's not crazy sounding at all...at least not to me. The truth is I've been feeling the same way. It's a little scary for me I have to admit, but it's true Rachel. I feel like you are someone that I was made to love and everything else in my life, including Claire, was just a prelude to this love."

He meant these words more than he had meant any other words he had ever spoken to anyone, and so did she.

The night ended just as they knew it would—with the two of them wrapped up in each other's arms discovering one another even more.

The next morning as Rachel dressed, Derek watched. A nagging question was on her mind.

"What are we going to tell Ken and Jan? Are we going to tell them that we spent the weekend together?"

"Why don't we worry about that later?" he told her. "Come here and let me love you some more."

She walked over to where he was lying on the bed, and sat down beside him.

"Where were you when I was seventeen? I mean honestly, where were you? I sure could have used someone like you in my corner back then."

He studied the seriousness in her eyes as he traced a finger along her perfect jawline, and then slid it to her full lips caressing them. She kissed his finger but never took her eyes off his. He pulled her to him and said—

"I'm here now Rachel...I know I'm a little late but I'm here in your corner now, baby."

It didn't take a lot of convincing on Derek's part when he suggested they stay for another day.

"We can go back in the morning...I can take another day all I have to do is let my on call know so she can cover for me."

Rachel remembered she had a book signing at a small family-owned bookstore owned by the cousin of her hairstylist. She had found that good old word of mouth was the best way to promote most of her books.

"I can't...I have the book signing thing at Spindle Books at six tomorrow evening. I have to get the books from my house and get everything prepped. Plus, I don't want to impose on the neighbors another day. They are taking care of Jasper for me.

"Rachel, I can get from here to your house in ninety minutes...and that's if I obey the speed limit, my dear. I already have it all planned. We leave here in the morning...say around ten, go into town get some breakfast...stop by that shop where they sell the handmade jewelry because I want to pick something up."

He winked at her as he said that, and continued.

"We can be on the road by one at the latest...to your house before three...I will help you do your thing with the prepping, and then I will drive you to your book signing downtown. Oh, and I'm sure that ole neighbor fella who is totally crushing on you will be more than happy to watch out for the dog another night," he said grinning at her slyly.

"First," she said smiling, "that's very funny but Mr. Thomas is gay so I doubt he's crushing on me. Second...do you really want to go to a book signing with me?"

Her voice was a little choked up because the thought occurred to her that in the fifteen years she had been married—eight of which she had been writing and selling books professionally—her husband had never showed any interest in her craft or her books. He sure as hell never wanted to go to a book signing with her.

However, in the three months that Derek had known her he had read two of her books—even though in his words he was no book hound. Now he was offering to accompany her to a signing.

"Seriously...do you really want to go?"

He could see the look of gratefulness that had took up residence on her face.

"Of course I do, I think what you do is incredible. I mean...to have that kind of imagination and talent. I envy that," he said smiling at her while she dressed.

She sat back down on the bed next to him.

"You save people's pets—which are like children to them—on a regular basis, and you think what I do is incredible? I'll ask you again Mr. Williamson...where have you been all of my life?"

The rest of the day, and the next morning, was spent discovering the love that had consumed them both. Rachel had told Derek more than she had anyone else since her grandmother; however, there were still some things that she had to let time tell. Some of her secrets still remained hidden—even to her. She was now determined to find out all that she could because she wanted to be a whole person now. To her, Derek was more than enough reason to find the answers to all of the mysteries that seemed to claim her life. Since they had met, everything she felt had intensified. It was as if the two of them coming together had awakened some kind of spiritual, sleeping giant.

# CHAPTER SIXTEEN

On the way out of town the next day, Derek made a quick stop at the shop he mentioned. While he was inside Rachel decided to call Jan and let her know where she had been all weekend. There was no answer, so she left her a brief message only asking her to return the call.

She told Derek that she had called Jan when he returned to the car. Noticing a vague look of unease on his face, she wondered if it had been a mistake. On the ride home she asked him about it—she was more than unprepared for his response at first.

"To tell you the truth Rachel, I don't think it's a good idea to tell them anything about this yet...at least not until after the wedding."

Even though it was not the reply she wanted, and it left her feeling a little confused Rachel agreed to his request.

He could see her reaction written all over her face—He put his hand on her upper thigh.

"Rachel I'm sure of what I want, and I know you are too. I just think we should take our time, and let this new thing between us be just ours for a little while longer. I mean this when I say...it's not about me being unsure of anything. I promise you that. I realized what I wanted three nights ago, and that's you...in my life forever. I love you Rachel, and I'm going to make you happier than you've ever been."

The two of them rode in silence for a few moments before he spoke up again.

"I just don't want to deal with the huge circus that I know those two are going to make out of it."

He knew Jan and Ken well enough to know that if he and Rachel let them into their relationship right now, that it would take away from the intimacy that they were still discovering. That was something he didn't want to happen. He just wasn't ready to let them into that part of his life yet. After explaining it to her this way, he could see that it eased her worry, but not completely.

"I understand what you're saying Derek."

He looked over at her, and could easily see that she didn't—not totally.

"No, I don't think you do. Rachel, I want you...that's all. I don't need all of that other stuff, just you. I'm not like them, and I know you aren't either...I mean, don't get me wrong, I love those two and I thank God that they are in my life because they brought us together. What I am trying to say here is: I want you and me in our own little world for just a little while, before we have to share that world with everyone else. If that's selfish of me...then call me selfish."

Rachel believed him, and everything he had just said, but still she felt conflicted.

Seeing that her mood was shifting, Derek continued.

"When the time comes...I will shout it across the universe, but for now I will only tell you. I love you Rachel Adams, you may not have been my first love, but you are my last. You are the one...you are the one, please don't ever doubt that."

"I know I've asked you twice already, but really, where have you been all of my life?"

"Waiting for the links in the chain of our lives to align right I guess," he said as they turned off the freeway. "That's all my love."

For Rachel, the fact that he wanted her all to himself for just a little while longer made her feel a contentment in her heart that she never had. She was studying him while he drove, and she prayed a little prayer.

He's too good to be true; it scares me how wonderful he is to me. I had no idea that men like him really existed. Lord please...let me keep him for eternity. Please don't ever take him away. I want to grow old with this man. I want to sit on our front porch when we are old and gray, and die there together holding each other's hands. Then I want to travel to heaven with him and spend forever in his arms.

As though he were reading her thoughts Derek looked over and gave her a quick wink as though to say: we will do just that. He picked up her hand—kissed it, and held it for the last few miles to her house.

The book signing that night had an excellent turnout. Derek's heart was filled with pride watching the woman he had grown to love and respect so much doing what she did, and being in her element. When it was all over and the last fan had left the store, she walked over to where he had been observing the entire evening. Rachel sat down on his lap—hugged his neck, and kissed Derek on his cheek. She whispered into his ear.

"Thank you."

As she did this, her eyes caught a glimpse of a familiar man and woman getting into a car about fifty feet away from where she and Derek sat.

When his eyes met hers, she felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

She stared at her ex-husband, and Mike stood in the parking lot staring back at her—almost dumbfounded. Rachel felt like a child who had just been caught by their father taking a long draw off their first cigarette.

"Dammit," she said, as she got up off of Derek's lap fast.

"What the hell are those two doing all the way out here?"

Derek turned, thinking he was about to see Ken and Jan staring back at him in disbelief. Instead, he saw a man walking toward them that he didn't recognize at all.

"Who is that?" he asked her, he could see the fear in her eyes as she answered.

"It's Mike...that's Joanna in the car."

She was motioning in the direction of the woman sitting in the passenger seat of the luxury car.

"Derek, he's an absolute jerk...please just ignore whatever he says."

Derek looked at her, and was dismayed at how much her mood—not to mention her demeanor—had changed. She looked as if she knew she was about to get into a lot of trouble.

"Rachel...it's okay, everything will be alright," he reassured her, gently touching her hand.

She looked up at him just before Mike entered the store and a sudden calm washed over her. She had not felt this safe since her brother was alive.

"Well hello, Rachel. Who's your friend here that you were just being so friendly with?" Mike asked.

Mike's tone was as condescending as ever. He wasn't looking at Rachel though—his eyes were fixed completely on Derek.

"Hello Mike...this is my friend Derek. Derek this is my ex-husband Mike."

"Hello," Derek said holding out his hand to shake Mike's.

Mike looked at him for a second, and then turned toward Rachel again, and asked in a demeaning manner.

"What is it that you are doing here Rachel? Are you trying to see how much more screwed up you can make your life?"

The look on Derek's face instantly degraded from amicable and pleasant—to a look of utter disgust. Derek was looking at Rachel's ex-husband like he was contemplating tossing him through the shop window. Mike must have felt the heat from Derek's scowl, and backed up a couple of steps in the direction of the door he had just came through moments earlier.

Rachel saw it too and put her hand on Derek's tensed forearm, slid it down, and grasped his hand in hers. She looked at her ex-husband, and began to speak in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Mike, what I'm doing is absolutely none of your concern anymore...not that it ever was. I think you should probably go now, your wife seems to be getting a little impatient with you."

She was saying the words to him in the same condescending tone he had offered her moments ago, as she pointed in Joanna's direction.

Mike turned to see his wife, who was throwing her hands up in the air at him. His cheeks flared instantly—red with anger. He turned quickly, and walked out the door got into his car and sped out of the parking lot.

"So that was the infamous Mike? A lot shorter and punier than I thought he would be."

Derek winked at Rachel as he said it.

She put her head on his arm and said, "Take me home, mister."

"Yes ma'am," he obliged.

As they walked to his SUV, she realized that she didn't want to be alone that night. With Derek there, her mind wouldn't dwell on the events that just happened.

"Will you stay with me tonight? I've slept better the past three nights than I have in my entire life, Derek."

He looked down at her and tilted her chin up so she was looking into his eyes.

"Yes, I will. I do have to swing by my place and get a few things...okay?"

She nodded to him as she slid into the passenger seat and smiled as he shut the door. As he did she thought she caught a reflection of light just behind him for a brief second, but as quickly as it appeared it was gone.

For some reason that Rachel couldn't understand, she had a flashback of a woman she had met a few years earlier. It was a brief encounter, but it left its impression. She had met a stranger once at one of the lowest points in her life, the woman had reached out to her in an unselfish act of human compassion. Rachel had not thought of this woman in years—until a few weeks ago during a talk with Jan. Now for some reason she crossed Rachel's mind again.

As Derek walked around the vehicle to the driver's side—Rachel felt that same light, fragrant breeze brush past her. She thought she heard a faint voice floating along the edges of it as it flowed softly by. Feather-light fingers trickled down her neck as it whispered the word, him in her ear. The feeling was coming—the one she had grown to hate, it was welling up deep inside her core. She closed her eyes and focused just like she had been taught to long ago.

Not now...I don't need you...go away, please just go back to where you belong.

Derek stayed with her every night for the next week.

Jan had dropped by for an unexpected visit on Saturday, and discovered Derek and Rachel planting a magnolia sapling in Rachel's front yard. She was less than convinced that the chemistry she could feel between them was purely friendship—at least not anymore. Jan thought it felt very powerful, like nothing she had ever sensed between two people—not even between Ken and herself. The energy that she felt flowing between the two of them was strong and pure, it was true love—she knew it. For some reason, the two didn't want her to know about their relationship yet. She would respect their wishes, even though it hurt her just a little.

After the yard work was done the three of them rode into town to pick up Ken. They all spent the day at the lake where Jan had hoped Rachel would share with her what she already knew.

"Rachel, my wedding is in three weeks, and I wanted to ask you. Is there something that you want to tell me?" Jan asked in her best interrogating manner.

Rachel didn't take the bait because she felt the same as Derek did about their relationship—it was theirs, and theirs alone for now. All they wanted was time to explore it and let it grow without outside influence. It was bad enough that Mike had seen them together last week. Thankfully, for now, he had not caused her any trouble. It wasn't as if he really could—at least she hoped not.

There was a time when she let Mike scare her and then some. However, after the incident in the yard the day after she found him with Joanna, Mike knew not to push her too far anymore. He saw what could happen if he ever tried to hurt her again. She seldom found herself worrying about Mike these days, but still Rachel knew he could cause ripples if he decided to tell Derek about that day, and what happened. It could change how he felt about her, so she knew she had to be cautious around Mike. She wanted to tell Derek about that day herself, and would—when the time came.

"No Jan I'm good honey," Rachel replied directing the conversation to other things.

Having spent the day dodging questions from Jan, Rachel welcomed the drive home sitting quietly beside Derek while he sang love songs to her from one of the many R&B CDs he owned. She welcomed this peaceful moment after Jan's barrage of questions. After going to her house to pick up Jasper, they drove to his house that night where she stayed with him for the first time in his bed.

That Sunday, Derek had thought about asking her to join him at church. He had not been in months, and was feeling a bit guilty. He recalled what his mother had always told him.

It doesn't matter to God how often you show up in his house, just as long as you show up sometimes at least.

He decided he would wait a little longer to get her take on organized religion. Instead, they spent their Sunday in the park with Jasper, and then they went to Jan and Ken's to go over more details of the wedding that was fast approaching.

Derek woke up at 8:00AM, two hours before a usual work day started by an emergency call of sorts. He had wanted nothing more than to climb back into his king-sized bed next to the sleeping beauty that lay in it, snoring lightly.

She was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers—she was one of the sexiest women Derek had ever known intimately. Her sexiness went way beyond her physical attributes—she was sexy to her core. Her thoughts, her words, everything about Rachel Adams wreaked gorgeousness. The craziest thing to Derek was: she had no clue just how lovely she was; however, Derek was cluing her in more and more these days.

As he dressed he watched her sleep. It was a peaceful sleep—one of the many unseen gifts he had given her without even really knowing it. Her body was uncovered, and she slept on her stomach with one shapely leg drawn upward toward her chest. He still could not get over the fact that she looked so young still.

She must have inherited some really good genes from some ancestors somewhere, he thought as he admired her a little longer.

He realized he would love her even if she looked ten years older—but she didn't. Even with all the bad stuff she had been dealt in life, it somehow had not aged her. He finished getting ready for his work day, then leaned down and softly kissed her on the side of her forehead. She murmured something that sounded like my brother or perhaps my other...something that was too quiet for him to make out.

"I love you," he whispered, leaving her sleeping peacefully.

Mondays were always more stressful, he knew that for sure. The only exception would have been the kind of Monday that he had spent with Rachel in the mountains two weeks ago. He longed for that Monday as he walked into his office where his first non-emergency emergency awaited him.

He was greeted by a seventy-five pound German Shepard named Rex who had swallowed his owner's nail clippers. It was almost 10:00AM by the time Derek finished with him when another dog—a ten pound Yorkie—arrived. He had discovered his owner's bag of chocolate peanut butter cups that were stashed in between the sofa cushions during a night of movies and popcorn over the weekend. Both patients would survive, but by noon Derek was wondering if he would. He figured he may be able to grab some chips and cookies from the vending machine and take a twenty minute break in between patients, if he was lucky.

He went to his office to get some change from his desk drawer and was completely surprised by what he saw. On his desk sat a basket with a note on top. He sat down and read the note.

I know you've have a hectic day, one of the girls up front told me how swamped you already were by ten o'clock. I was going to stay and have lunch with you, but I thought you could use a little quiet time to relax, I hope you enjoy. I remembered you said at the cabin this place was one of your favorites to have lunch so eat up, my love.

It was signed with her name inside of a heart. He opened the basket and inside was: a chopped grilled chicken sandwich with pesto sauce on rye; a chilled container of macaroni salad; and a fresh fruit bowl, along with a huge blueberry muffin. She had got most of it from Deli-ish-ous, the place he had told her about, but the crazy thing was he hadn't told her any of his favorites. Somehow, though, they were all here in the basket.

"Just another crazy wavelength thing I guess," he whispered.

There was an envelope in the bottom of the basket and on the front it read: This is to say: 'Thank you' for the wonderful weekend in the mountains, you know...the one when you changed my life.

He opened the envelope, and inside were two box seat tickets for the following week's home football game. There was another note inside with the tickets, as well.

I also remembered you said you loved your team almost as much as you loved being a vet, so I knew that you must love them a lot. I have a hookup; one of my biggest local fans is the wife to one of the assistant coaches for the team. I made a phone call and got these. Since I don't know a thing about the game, I thought maybe you and Ken could go. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Love, Rachel

He laughed at the fact that she used a semicolon in an informal letter.

"Only a writer," he said.

As he sat at his desk and ate his lunch, his happiness was almost too much for him to stand. He wanted to leave, he wanted to go to her and pick her up in his arms and cover her in kisses, but real life and his responsibilities held him captive for now.

His next thought was to call her, but he knew as soon as he did it would surely be cut short by someone peeking their head in his door, requesting his presence for a four-legged patient of some kind.

He settled on a text message that simply said, You touched my heart just a little bit there Rachel, you don't know how it made me feel when I walked in and saw this, thank you...I love you so much.

Some small part of Derek still felt guilt over loving her this much so fast; however, a bigger part of him knew it was something that absolutely was meant to happen at this time in his life. He knew he deserved to be feeling the kind of happiness that he was now. He could still hear his father's words sometimes—way down deep in the recesses of his mind, trying their damnedest to make their way to the surface, and sabotage his happiness.

Unlike before though, when those feelings started rearing their ugly heads, something in him snuffed them out before they even started. His will had become stronger now.

There were still times when Rachel felt like every horrible thing in her past, and every wonderful thing in her present would collide somehow—in some colossal catastrophe of events that would send her spinning out of control, out into the universe. Anxiety was hard at work during these times, and she knew it. She also knew that she had to get control of her fears, and let go of them if she were to ever be truly happy. In some cases, letting go of something is hard to do, nearly impossible even.

Rachel had lived so much of her life holding onto her fears because it was easier to just expect the worst. When you expected the worst in life, you usually weren't disappointed. She had found it to be the best way to deal with the letdowns. In the past few years, since her marriage to Mike ended, she had changed her perspectives in many ways. So much was different now for her, but some things—things that she wished would change—were still the same.

Her mystic was one of those things.

Such a silly name for something so much more serious she always thought. That connection to something unknown was always so much more than she allowed it to be. Out of respect for her grandmother, Rachel had never changed what she called it besides she knew she wouldn't have a clue what to call it anyway.

She was drawn to things sometimes—at times even drawn to people. The thing was it didn't matter because she had always rebuked it—until now. Recently, her defenses were down, and she knew it.

I've been sensing way too much in the past few months, there's something within me...that I put to sleep long ago, and now it's waking up.

What she didn't understand was: Why now? What had triggered it...or maybe intensified it? At least I can still will it away from me.

She had been asking herself these questions repeatedly the last few weeks. She had to force it away the other night—right before Derek had got into the vehicle. It was too close for comfort, that time. She knew she was going to have to open up much more to Derek a lot sooner than she had wanted.

The closer she and Derek became, the more she wanted to share all of her secrets with him. She had hoped to ease him into it all—rather than throwing him into the fire all at once. She wanted to let their love grow into something so strong that nothing—not even the bad things from her past could tear down.

As Rachel lay there in his bed thinking all of this, she realized something: it was strong already. Even though it had only been a short time since the two of them had admitted their feelings, and physically connected to one another.

"We are stronger together," she whispered into her pillow. She could feel that she was on the brink of an epiphany of some kind, but wasn't quite there yet.

Something in her unconscious mind was indeed waking up now, but it was doing so very slowly—as though it knew not to rush. It knew that doing so just might send her into a state of shock, or perhaps worse—it might drive her to the brink of madness. Leaving her in a state of craziness that she would never come back from.

# CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Suspecting that his day would be less than easy from the way it started out. Rachel felt that she should do something nice for Derek since she knew all about the stress that is attached to hard work days. For a moment she thought she may be doing too much, but she quickly buried that thought. Derek was worth everything. Plus, she needed something to distract her. She wanted to get her mind off of what she was feeling right now.

Among the other things on her mind, old ghosts seemed to be rearing their sad little heads also. Her father had been in her thoughts for a good part of the morning for some reason that she didn't understand. She rarely thought about him on purpose, and didn't like the fact that he seemed to keep insisting she did.

"Leave me alone...you were always good at that when you were alive," she whispered, "I really wish you would just go find your peace after all this time."

She pulled the door closed behind her. As she did, an apparition stood by the counter in Derek's kitchen, watching her. Had she not been facing away from the door, she would have seen it, but she didn't.

Rachel remembered that Derek mentioned a deli that he really liked. She made her first stop there, and then she stopped at the market to pick up a fruit bowl, a card, and few other items she needed. While on the fresh produce isle, her cart came as close as it could to running into another one coming around the corner. As she looked around to apologize, she saw that it was Joanna.

"Well, we just keep running into each other these days don't we Rachel?" Joanna said with a smirk. "Did you move back to the city or something?"

Joanna's question was a loaded one, and Rachel knew it.

"Joanna, how's it going?" Rachel replied back with a sweet yet somehow antagonizing tone.

Other than being caught off guard, Rachel had no idea why she even said that. She didn't give a good damn how the woman standing in front of her was doing. Rachel started to move around her, but Joanna inched her cart up and made a motion at Rachel to hold on.

"Rachel...who was that handsome man you were with the other night? I mean that was an unusual surprise to say the least, seeing you with a—" Joanna paused and looked around. "A man who is black."

Joanna could see the hate, and lack of interest that Rachel had for talking with her, but she continued anyway.

"Of course these days there is absolutely nothing wrong with interracial dating," she said—then added, "but you...you looked a little ridiculous with him. You two just don't seem to fit. I mean you're...well...you, and he..."

Joanna hesitated again to think of a few more insults for good measure.

"He just seemed a bit out of your league. I mean I know Mike definitely was of course. I'm only saying this because I wouldn't want you making that kind of mistake again with a man who was out of your comfort zone...someone you weren't right for. You know as well as I do that you and Mike were never—"

"Joanna," Rachel said cutting her off, "What Mike was...and still is I imagine...is a small selfish man, and as we both know, I mean small in every sense of the word. I could stand here for hours telling you about every horrible thing that man did to me, but you wouldn't hear any of it. You don't want to know, because you are the kind of woman who doesn't care. You think in that twisted mind of yours that you won some kind of game...and you know what Joanna? I guess you did win, and what a fantastic prize he is, huh?"

Rachel paused for a second, but realized she couldn't leave it at that.

"Has he started beating you down yet emotionally? I guess maybe he's still in that kiss ass phase. I mean, you do have a fat bank account from Charles's untimely death. You know I hated you for longest time, you were my close friend and you were screwing my husband right under my nose. I thought you ruined my life."

Rachel saw a smirk making its way across Joanna's face—the kind that someone shows when they have accomplished something they are proud of. The look was short lived when Rachel finished what she had to say.

"Thank you Joanna, from the bottom of my heart...for taking that miserable bastard out of my life. Thank you for bearing that life-sucking cross for me. Now get the hell out of my way before I make you wish you had never seen me here!"

The confrontation would have been much less dramatic had Joanna knew to leave well enough alone, but she didn't—she reached out grabbing Rachel's right arm as she tried to pass. Joanna's eyes were glaring and full of contempt, as she spoke in a low voice to Rachel through clinched teeth.

"Let me tell you something, bitch."

She knew immediately she had just made a huge mistake as Rachel grabbed her hand—it was one she wouldn't soon forget. Joanna felt a searing pain shoot up her arm as Rachel twisted her hand backwards in a direction that it wasn't meant to go. She did it with a strength that Joanna didn't know women possessed: at least not normal women. She could feel ligaments and bones stretching beyond their normal range, as she cried out in agony. Her face was twisted in pain as Rachel leaned in close.

"No, let me tell you something...you miserable excuse of a woman. Stay the hell away from me if you know what's good for you...and don't ever say another word to me about my life. Just keep my name out of your mouth. What I do, and who I do it with is of no concern to you, or to that pathetic, gold-digging fucker you're married to."

Rachel's tone was low and guttural—almost animal in nature. She clamped down a little harder on Joanna's hand before letting go. Rachel could see the humiliation and fear in the woman's face, and realized it had all gotten way out-of-hand. As Joanna dropped to her knees, Rachel walked away before doing more damage.

After Rachel was a safe distance away—at least thirty feet—Joanna yelled after her.

"You know I wasn't the only woman he cheated on you with...there were a lot more!"

Rachel turned back toward her, seeing the small audience of shoppers that were gawking by this point. She smiled, and replied cunningly.

"I did know that Joanna...but thank you for telling me again. I know that you weren't the first...I also know you won't be the last. You think about that as you climb into bed with him tonight."

Damn her, for making me sink to her level! Rachel thought as walked away disgusted, but at the same time she felt vindicated for the first time in three years. All she wanted to do was forget the whole scene, as well as the feeling that had consumed her during it. I was feeling like I wanted to just snap her hand right off her arm.

Realizing the confidence Derek had helped instill in her, she nearly fell to her knees and thanked God, and whatever other divine forces were at work in the universe—for bringing him into her life.

Twenty minutes later, she was delivering Derek's surprise to his office. As badly as she wanted to wait there just to see his face and hear his voice—even if it was just for a minute—she decided it was best to slip in and out.

No point in throwing any kinks in his schedule, she thought as she walked back to her SUV.

Driving home, Rachel had an overwhelming urge to go somewhere she hadn't been in years. She exited off the freeway and onto the back roads. It was another long overdue visit.

The graves were overgrown a bit, and it made Rachel feel guilty because she didn't come here as often as she should. She knew they weren't here. Rachel knew where they were—at least she thought she did. She cleared off the weeds and placed the flowers she bought in the urns. With her fingers she traced her mother's name on the large granite stone and the tears started to stream down her face.

"Hi, momma...I know it's been awhile, and I'm sorry. I know I need to get out here more often. I've got some news. I'm finally happy, momma. For the first time since you were here with me I feel complete. I have found someone that truly loves me for who I am. Of course he doesn't know everything there is to know about me, but then again, neither do I. He knows enough, though, and he accepts it all...and me. He's nothing like the man I was married to for so long...too long. He's kind and loving...but momma I'm so afraid."

By this time, Rachel could no longer contain her tears.

"I know it doesn't make sense...but I am. I'm so scared that I'm going to lose him the way I lost all of you."

She looked at her father's and brother's name on their stones as she said it. Her grandmother wasn't here. Her remains—except for some that occupied a small pendant that hung around Rachel's neck sometimes—had been scattered by a cavern in the mountains.

"Everyone that was ever good in my life was taken away. I pray every night for him, I pray to God to let me keep him...so I can grow old with him...die with him...and live in eternity with him." Rachel wiped her tears and laughed, "I know what you would say if you were here: dry those tears silly girl, everything will be okay. Momma, I'm sorry. I know I say it every time I come, but I am so sorry for putting you in that place...but I was so young, and all alone. Grandma was so far away...I think it's one of the reasons I resented her so much. By the time she returned to the states you were gone. I didn't know how to take care of you after your breakdown. I wish I could go back. I would do so many things differently, but you are the main thing that I would change if I could. If I had only known what was going to happen, I would have quit school—came home, and took care of you for as long as you needed me. It's all water under the bridge now, as you would say."

The tears were flowing like a slow river now.

"I'm so sorry that I was weak and selfish...I love you, and I miss you so much. I'm almost sure sometimes that you are here still, but I'm not positive...why don't you let me see you? I wonder if it is you. I don't know anymore...not that I ever really did. I guess that's my punishment...right? I get to sense all of you, but never see, or communicate with any of you. God, if I really had these abilities like grandmother often said, I should be able to...so why can't I?"

She brushed her fingers back and forth across all of their names, then she laid back across the graves, and looked up into the afternoon sky. Reluctantly, she began to daydream what life would be like now if she still had a family, feeling mentally exhausted, she closed her eyes.

Her sleep was interrupted an hour later by her cell phone going off, it was a text from Derek. He had gotten her gifts, and was thanking her in the text. She smiled as she read his words.

As she stood up, she heard a noise off to her right. She quickly spun around in the direction it came from, and saw what she thought to be a mist of some kind over by a huge oak tree. Rachel blinked the leftover sleep out of her eyes a few times and the object was gone. She heard the noise again though as she started back to her car, she felt the sensation of being watched. She had felt this before many times, but never in this place.

Until recently, the old house was the only place she had ever felt anything really significant.

I've been feeling so many things out here in my real world lately but, it's not the same...it's different now.

She believed this, but didn't feel frightened by it, at least she didn't think she did. Rachel hurried to her vehicle, got in, and locked her doors as she cranked it up. She looked out across the cemetery, but didn't see anything this time. As she started to pull away, she got the faint whiff of clean freshness in the air—that same familiar scent, but still she couldn't place it. It was a sweet smell almost like vanilla perhaps.

She flipped on the air vents, and then turned back onto the road that led to the freeway. It was already three o'clock, and she wanted to get home in time to cook dinner for Derek for a change. He had cooked for her every night so far. She thought of her mother, and her brother all the way home. Not her father though—even in death he still frightened her.

# CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Derek made two stops on his way to Rachel's that evening. The first was the florist where he purchased her favorite flowers—carnations. He picked out sixteen of them, it was the number of days since they had succumbed to the love that overpowered them both.

He learned they were her favorite during a debate one day a few weeks before. Rachel and Jan had been arguing over flowers for the wedding.

"Carnations are my all-time favorite, my mother grew them in our back yard. They always filled it with such a beautiful smell," Rachel had said.

"They remind me of funeral homes," Jan retorted.

It was on after that, but Derek had made a mental note of it at the time regardless. After selecting various colors of them, he had the florist make a beautiful arrangement while he waited. On the card he wrote:

Because I know you love these flowers, and because I love you...P.S these are almost as colorful as our love. I'll love you Always, Derek

His second stop was to his condo to pick up a small box that had been hidden safely away in his dresser drawer. He had intended to give it to her at the wedding, but he wanted to give it to her now after what she had done for him.

He arrived at her place around six o'clock. He used his key she had given him last week—one that he had found hidden in her bra while taking it off of her one night, as they began to make love. It was resting between her breasts as she lay on the bed.

Derek remembered looking puzzled at this occurrence. He would always remember the goofy words she spoke, as well as the bad British accent she had used to say them with.

"You already have the key to my heart so you may as well have the key to my castle sweet, prince."

It was cheesy, and funny as hell—they had laughed so hard that it killed the mood, but not for long.

She was just taking the bread from the oven when he came through the front door. Her back was to him as he put the vase with the flowers on the counter. She turned around and was hugging him before he could speak. He could tell something was wrong, but before he could ask she was kissing him. Then when she all but collapsed in his arms, he asked.

"Rachel, what is it...what's happened?"

She shook her head, and then looked at the flowers.

"Oh Derek they are beautiful."

She looked up at him with gratitude that always seemed to fill her eyes. It made him feel a little sad, and that feeling caught him totally off guard. He felt overwhelmed by her. She was the first woman in his life that made him feel this way. It was her gratitude, he had never met someone who showed so much gratefulness for every little gesture, for every act of love. It had brought him to the brink of tears at times. It wasn't just the way she expressed it—it was the way it seemed to pour out of her soul. That was the only way he could explain it.

He often thought, and was now beginning to believe that this beautiful woman had never had any kind of true affection or appreciation shown to her by a man. He hurt for her, and for the fact that such a wonderful human being had been so beaten down by life.

I'm going to spend the rest of my days showing her what love is, Derek thought as Rachel covered his face in kisses thanking him for her gift. Dear Lord, how will she react when I give her the other gift?

Over dinner, Rachel told Derek about the encounter with Joanna earlier that day.

"It wasn't my proudest moment...I'll tell you that. I swear to you Derek the amount of smarts that woman has in her brain: you could fit through the eye of a needle, and still have room to park a bus beside it. That may be awful of me, but it's the God's honest truth."

She said it with such a matter-or-fact tone in her voice that it almost sent the sip of tea that Derek had just taken, spewing out of his mouth.

"Well damn Rach...that is pretty bad, but then again you have to give her credit. She knew well enough to get a safe distance away from you before she opened her mouth about the other women."

He paused and then playfully added, "Jackie Chan."

"Stop it!" she laughed, "I honestly don't know what came over me."

He was picking up on a sense of worry in her observation.

She told him about her visit to the cemetery, as well, and about the strange feeling she had when she was leaving the place.

"You know it has been at least four years since I have been there Derek...how awful am I?"

Rachel reminded him of Claire and his parents when she said this.

"Baby, you are not awful...you are human. I haven't been to my parent's graves in years."

"Your parents are buried over one-hundred miles away Derek...my family is in the ground twenty-five minutes from here. I mean, I know they aren't there...I know where they are." Her voice trailed off a bit before she continued. "Now that I think about it, I guess I choose to visit the place where their souls reside instead of the place where their bones rest."

Derek shuttered a little when she said it.

"Careful baby, the writer in you is creeping me out. You are going to get a story idea and I won't see you for months."

He made her smile, which was what she needed after her day.

"Derek, where is Claire buried...I mean I'm just curious."

"She is buried with her mother and father in a family graveyard in Mississippi."

He patted her on her thigh lovingly and said, "I'll put the dishes in the dishwasher. Why don't you go start us a nice hot bath...after the day I've had, I could use it. Besides I need to relax my tired ole bones before you can jump them."

He made her feel like a girl in love for the first time every time he was with her, and she loved the feeling. Derek had a way of almost making Rachel forget the life she had before him.

She was sliding into the tub when he walked in, wearing nothing but the small box he was holding in his hand. He climbed into the tub with her and pulled her to him—he reached around in front of her with the box in his hand, and pulled out a small diamond cut chain with a round disk charm hanging from it. Rachel could see the small writings that were engraved on the front and back. It was in Latin. On their second night in the cabin in the mountains Rachel had told Derek how she had studied Latin in college and fell in love with the language. On the front was written—You are my world, I will never let you fall apart. She turned it over and read—Your truth is my truth.

Derek saw, then sensed what he already thought he would. It was that same look of gratitude that took up residence in her every time she looked at him.

"You told me the first night after we made love that you had always felt like your world was sharp around the edges...like it was square instead of round. You said that you had always felt like, at any moment you might just fall off the edge of your world and go hurdling out into the universe. So, I had the jeweler craft it in the shape of a circle, to forever remind you that your world is perfectly rounded now. No matter what happens, I will never let you fall away."

He opened the lock clasp and placed it around her neck.

She turned around to face him.

"It's too much," she told him, looking at him intensely. "You didn't have to do this just because I—"

Her words were broken off by him putting his finger to her lips softly to quiet her.

"Remember when I stopped by the place when we were leaving the mountains? I had it specially made by the old jeweler there. He's been making jewelry longer than we've been alive...my father knew him many years ago. It came a few days ago and I was going to wait, but after what you did for me today I wanted to give it to you now. It looks so absolutely beautiful on you, what I want more than anything right now, is to kiss you."

He did just that, and then lifted her up onto him, holding her close. He wanted this moment to last forever and even longer.

"Derek, will you come with me to the old place sometime? I know there are answers there that I've always avoided finding. I want to share everything with you now." She could see a hint of apprehension cross his face and was sure she knew that he had reservations—the same as she had always had.

This is all so strange and unknown for him...I'm surprised that he's looked this far into the Pandora's Box called my life, she thought.

"Before you answer, I just want you to know that you don't have to believe in everything that I do—hell, you don't even have to believe in any of this. The thing is Derek, somehow...I know you do. I know that if we went there, we could find answers. There are a lot of old boxes and crates that belonged to my parents and grandparents. I was just thinking that maybe there was something there...letters, journals perhaps. To be honest with you, I've never had the nerve to look through all of my grandmother's stuff."

Rachel shuddered a little bit at the thought of what she might stir up within herself if she did.

"There is tons of their stuff in that attic. I knew that if I looked through everything, it would stir up some memories of my mother and father—things I don't like to remember. After my grandmother died I just sent the movers to pack up her belongings and stored everything up there. Every time I thought about trying to sort through it to find answers, I figured it would be like finding a needle in a haystack. But...I think...no, I feel like I'm being pulled there now more than ever. It's almost as if something is telling me it's time. I don't think it's meant for me to go there alone...not for this."

He could clearly see how important it was to her, so he agreed. As soon as the craziness of Ken and Jan's wedding was over and done with, they would go out to her childhood home and there she could show him what she had never showed anyone else—at least not anyone who was still among the living.

In the middle of their lovemaking later that night, Derek was captivated by her ability to make him feel like he was the only person that existed in the world when she held him close. She seemed to almost absorb him into her. It was beyond his understanding, yet somehow he knew that feeling was supposed to be. He loved the feeling; he drank it up like sweet wine and let it flow endlessly through his veins. There was something euphoric about the connection between them. During lovemaking it was like they became almost conjoined with one another. He felt it, and he knew she felt it too.

Two will be as one flesh and from that moment there is no separation of the souls. The words came into his head from nowhere, he couldn't recall where he had heard them before but he knew for sure he had—somewhere in his lifetime someone had said them.

His mind tried to venture, but he was pulled back to the rhythm of Rachel's hips as she moved on him in a motion that drove him mad with passion. An intense wave of ecstasy consumed them both now, and simultaneously a sweet release flowed through them both.

Afterwards he watched as Rachel slowly succumbed to the slumber that seemed to envelope her. A few minutes later he began to follow her lead slipping, slowly into a dream state as well. As Derek left the waking world, he heard something that even years later he wasn't sure was real. He was positive it was just something his sleeping mind was saying as he entered into that strange, semi-conscious world where people hear and see things. Unusual things that are usually unexplainable to their waking mind.

As he drifted, Derek heard a voice in his ear. It was familiar but different somehow. What it said changed his way of thinking about some things forever.

"She is the one, the one that I was not. I was just a link in a very important chain. She was made for you, this is all for a much higher purpose, my love."

He woke up startled, and his body jerked hard the way a person's does when they dream they are falling. His entire body was pulsating.

"You okay? Why did you do that?" Rachel's voice was barely audible.

"Sorry baby...bad dream. Go back to sleep."

He put a hand on her curvaceous hip, then he turned over facing her as he lay there quietly listening. He could see Rachel's silhouette in the moonlight that peeked in through a slit in the blinds. As he rested his hand on her hip he started to drift back off again. He knew for sure that Rachel had definitely gotten under his skin more than he thought anyone ever could. No matter what she asked of him, he felt certain he would move mountains to do it. If that happened to include going out to the far reaches of the state to an ancient house to stir up some sleeping ghosts, then so be it.

The last conscious thought he had that night was—I'm going to marry her.

# CHAPTER NINETEEN

The following weekend was that of Jan and Ken's wedding, and that week leading up to it, found Rachel consumed for days before the festivities. She was beginning to wish she could resign as maid-of-honor. Jan had hired a wedding planner to handle the more complicated stuff, like family members who didn't want to sit by one another. Then there was the bride's maid, whose dress no longer fit due to becoming unexpectedly pregnant. Rachel was thankful for being spared all that drama at least. There was also the matter of the bachelorette party weeks before the wedding that had got entirely out of hand. Had Rachel not been there to chaperone, her drunken best friend would have surely ended up in bed with a male stripper. That would have been a small catastrophe for sure.

The final dance session came two nights before the wedding. While going through the routine, Jan was extra observant of the way Derek held Rachel in his arms—the way a man holds a woman he is in love with.

I don't understand why they are wanting to keep it a secret, Jan thought.

Their actions made her feel alienated, and that was not something she dealt with well at all. Even with being busy with wedding plans and the honeymoon, she still wanted to be a part of their happiness, and was more than just a little hurt that they didn't want her included in it yet.

I thought she would have been dying to tell me by now. Due to timing I guess I'll let it go...but not for long, dammit.

After the session, everyone in the wedding party decided to unwind at a nearby sports bar. During a rather competitive game of trivia, Lydia—a co-worker of Jan's—who had clearly already had way too many draft beers, leaned over to Rachel inquiring.

"So is it true what they sh-say about black men in bed?" she slurred.

Of course, Rachel's first instinct was to have some fun, and so she did. She considered the fact that the woman was drunk and probably wouldn't remember anything about the evening the next day. She leaned in toward Lydia's ear.

"He loves to be tied up," she said while looking seductively across the table at Derek. "Then...after I untie him he gets a big...oh darn, I have to answer this text it's from my publisher." Rachel got up and walked over toward the bar.

"No...wait!" Lydia yelled after her.

Rachel read the text that Derek had sent.

"What are you talking about over there? The drunk woman keeps winking at me across the table."

While she was reading it, a manly voice startled her.

"So exactly how long have you two been seeing each-other? It's as plain as day...you two have already fell in love, I mean."

It was Ken. Rachel tried to escape but couldn't. Even though she had been able to elude Jan's questions the day at the lake house, she couldn't just tell Ken a bold face lie right to his face. After all, for the past two years he had been like a brother to her, like the one she had lost long ago. However, he had been with Jan for five years but he and Rachel had not became close until after her divorce. None of Rachel's friends had ever liked Mike—Ken and Jan were at the top of that list.

Even after Jan had moved back to Atlanta, she made no bones about the fact that she wanted little, or no dealings with the likes of Michael Barnes.

Rachel never expected her friend to understand the hold her ex had on her back then, because she never understood it herself. Even though Jan was always her friend, she realized now just how few friends she and Mike had during their marriage. He had his colleagues and golfing buddies and she had Joanna—a few women she knew through book groups, and her business associates.

While she stood there at the bar contemplating what to say to Ken, she could see Derek. He was at the table with everyone—laughing and talking. She couldn't help but feel a little envious that she was the one in the hot seat right now, while he was the one having fun.

"Rachel, don't worry...he and I will have a long talk later, he owes me much more than you do."

She looked at him and felt a little ashamed for keeping it from him.

"Ken...you gotta understand we were going to tell you both after the wedding. We didn't want to take anything away from you guys...these past few months have been your time. We didn't want to feel like we were stealing any of the limelight, so we decided to keep it quiet for a while. It's all about you and Jan right now."

She knew it was only true in part—though she had not been able to tell him a bold face lie she could tell him a little white one for the sake of his and Jan's feelings.

Ken put his arms around her and held her tight just the way her brother would have.

"I knew it," he said in her ear, "I knew you would hide this, but you both suck at it. Anyone, and everyone you two have been around lately can tell that you guys are head-over-heels for each other. Rachel he's a good guy." He was eye-to-eye with her now. "I've known him more than half my life. He is nothing like that bastard you were married to...he would never—"

Rachel stopped him putting her hand up to his mouth.

"Ken I know all of this already...I really do. I'm okay...for the first time in a long time I'm in a good place. He is the one who has helped me get here."

By now Derek had noticed what was going on over by the bar, and decided that the woman he was already missing may need just a little rescuing.

Ken was a little tipsy himself and was hugging Rachel again when Derek walked up.

"Hey is everything okay over here...you two looked like you were deep into something,"

Derek tried to sound as least concerned as possible. He was worried that Rachel—who was the one that had wanted to come clean about their relationship from the beginning—was now the one being interrogated about it. It wasn't something he was comfortable with at all. For some reason the thought of anyone, even Ken, causing Rachel any kind of discomfort made Derek feel a little enraged, and he wasn't sure why.

When Derek had told Rachel weeks before of the reasons he wanted to keep their relationship just between them for a little while longer, he didn't tell her all of them. He was afraid to open up wounds. He had found that when you open them up, sometimes you pay hell getting them to heal again. For Derek making the relationship official made it vulnerable to what life could do to it. He didn't want to plan because when you plan, the unexpected happens, and then people go out and get killed in car accidents.

Ken eventually returned to the table, while Rachel waited on her drink order. She turned to Derek, who had been standing behind her as if patiently waiting for her to fill him in on what had just gone down.

"I'm ready to go after I finish this drink."

She did it in two gulps.

He could tell she was just a little more than annoyed, but didn't have a clue why.

"Wait, what just happened?" He was in the dark, and he didn't like being there.

"Derek, can we just go now?"

He thought she's going with or without me, and he preferred it be with.

"Okay Rachel, but can we at least say good bye to everyone?"

It was more of a request than a question, so she obliged. After a quiet drive home, Derek turned off the ignition switch and turned to face her.

"Alright...what's wrong Rachel? What did he say to upset you like this? You haven't said two words to me and it's starting to piss me off to tell you the truth. I didn't do anything...that I can think of."

Rachel wanted to choose her words carefully, but that's not what happened. She turned to him, and for the first time since he had met her she seemed to look past him instead of at him. It reminded him of the way his father used to look at him, and it scared the hell out Derek.

"I think maybe you should just sleep at your place tonight."

"I have no problem sleeping at my place Rachel...but that's not what I asked you. What the hell did Ken say to you...do I need to call him right now?"

Rachel knew he was angry now and she didn't want to fuel it, she had done that before with Mike, and the results were not good at all. She had a small scar above her right eyebrow to remind her of that fact.

She also didn't want the honesty that she and Derek shared to be jeopardized in any way by anyone. She decided to be honest even if it hurt him. She didn't want to, but she didn't want feelings of resentment or confusion between them either.

I've had enough of those feelings to last me a lifetime, she thought.

"Derek...if I ask you this one question, will you be completely honest with me?"

He couldn't help but laugh a little at this.

"You know you can ask me absolutely anything Rachel...anything at all and I will tell you the truth."

He was a little more than confused by this point, but she was about to make it all perfectly clear for him.

"Are you embarrassed...or ashamed of what we are doing, or of what we have, because of some leftover loyalty you have to Claire?"

He started to speak, but she motioned to him that she was not finished.

"Maybe that didn't come out right. I think what I am trying to say here..." she paused, and then started again.

"Okay I'll just say it...Ken knows. So does Jan. As a matter of fact, we haven't hid this well from anyone...they all know. Everyone in the wedding knows...everyone. It seems the only people in the dark are you and me. What are we hiding from Derek? No wait, what are you hiding from Derek? It's beginning to seem like the only person who has a problem with us being in love is you. Don't misunderstand me, I believed everything you said to me about keeping this just between us for a little while, but I mean...what would have been so horrible about just telling them to back off if they started being over bearing about it? I'm just confused here Derek. I feel like I'm being pulled in all of these different directions"

After letting all of her words soak in, he contemplated asking her if she were absolutely crazy—if she had by some chance lost her mind sometime between the dance lessons and the bar.

Why would she entertain these ideas?

After all, had he not took her to the mountains with him, where they gave into their feelings, and mutually entered into this love affair with their eyes wide open?

I have listened to her deepest darkest secrets and embraced them, and her! He thought, more hurt than angry. I've poured my heart and soul out to this woman for fuck's sake—how could she think these preposterous things?

Then the emotional side of his brain gave way to the rational part. He realized that he had not been honest with himself, or Rachel, but now he had no other choice. He then began to open up parts of himself to her that he never had opened up to anyone. He told her that he thought if he could keep her just to himself at least for a while, things would be alright.

"Honestly, I guess that I thought that if destiny, fate or whatever didn't know how happy I was, then it couldn't come along one day: whenever the hell it decided to, and just take you away from me the way it did Claire. I wouldn't survive losing you. There's not a doubt in my mind Rachel if I lost you, eventually I would die of a broken heart. I loved her so much Rachel, but I love you more. What I feel for you goes beyond the realm of love, and that scares the hell out of me."

He looked at her with pure honesty, and continued.

"I am not ashamed of us baby...I don't even understand how you could believe that after everything we've shared. What I am: is afraid, and I know this is something I have to get over—"

He couldn't finish he lost all control right there beside her. Tears poured out of him that night—more than they had the day Claire died. He had come to terms with it all, and now he was releasing and letting go. Rachel knew this. Something else she knew was that soon it would be her turn to let go, but not now—tonight she had to be the strong one for him. She took him into her arms and comforted him the way she knew he needed to be. He was a strong man, one of the strongest she had ever known, but in this moment he wasn't, and that was okay.

Later when they were in bed together lying there face-to-face, she told him how sorry she was for giving into doubt and fear.

"Fear has been such a huge part of who I am for so long. I tend to give in to it whenever I feel cornered. I won't question your feelings again Derek. I mean it, and I will never leave you...nothing will take me away from you. I don't know how I know this but somehow I do. You are stuck with me for all of eternity."

She laughed softly when she said the last part, but she was more than serious. Some part of her just knew.

When she was drifting off to sleep she felt him caressing her cheek.

"I want to marry you," he whispered in a low voice.

Rachel woke up. He smiled at her as she sat up in bed.

"I'm serious Rachel...I'm not asking for an answer right this second, but I just want you to know that I'm in this for the long run...I promise. This isn't just about being in love with you...it's about so much more," Derek said smiling.

Rachel turned on the lamp, almost in a state of panic. "Say it again Derek...say it with the light on please. Promises in the dark are never kept...that's what my grandmother used to tell me, and she was always right. Derek please, say it all over again!"

She knew how utterly foolish—not to mention childish—she sounded to him right now, but it is hard to let go of some things when they had been drilled into your brain as a child.

Derek reached over her, and flipped the switch back off—the moon light lit up the bedroom again. He took her in his arms.

"What did you just say to me baby, not more than five minutes ago? About never doubting me again? Rachel, I don't say things I don't mean...in the light, or in the dark. I don't break my promises I never have. It's time to put all those old fears and superstitions to rest now baby. This is me...this is you...this is us."

Rachel knew there were still things in her past that she couldn't share with the man she loved more than anything, but she had shared what she could, and he accepted all of it and her. She felt that calm feeling come over her again, the same one that seemed to always envelope her when he was near. She didn't need to think—she didn't need time. She kissed his lips in the dark.

"Derek there is nothing in this world that I want more than to be with you forever. I want to marry you too, I promise."

She laughed as she said it because it was the first time she had ever used the word in the dark—it seemed almost foreign, and it felt like letting go.

"No...this won't do," he said as he climbed out of bed, and stood up. His tall muscular body was outlined by the light that filled the room from the night sky. It was a sight Rachel knew she would never get tired of looking at.

He reached across the bed and pulled her to him. He knelt before her and took her hand in his—he slipped the ring he had worn for the past twenty years off of his pinky finger, it had belonged to his grandmother and to her father before her. It was a white gold band with small black diamonds in double rows that went half way around the band.

"This will have to do for tonight," he said as he slid the ring on her ring finger.

When she looked down at the ring, she felt a connection of some kind to it.

"I feel like it was made to be on my finger...I love it Derek. I love it like it's a part of me. I don't know how to explain it to you...but I never want to take it off. This must be what Cinderella felt like when the slipper fit," she laughed.

"Then it's yours to keep if you love it that much," he said sweeping her back down on the bed.

"No I couldn't...I mean it's yours...from your family. I've always loved it on you, so I can't just keep it."

He was leaning over her looking into her eyes.

"You are my family now Rachel, and as long as you are wearing it, I am wearing it."

An hour later she was in his arms while they slept. A cool breeze flowed through the open window in the bedroom and woke her. The soft, sweet smell of vanilla perhaps, danced along the edges of the breeze, and off in the distance there was the faint sound of soft laughter, like a child at play.

In her twilight state, she looked back down at the ring. She couldn't believe how perfectly the ring fit, as if it were meant to.

The ring was made long ago, before either of them were even a glimmer in their mothers' eyes. It was something they would soon learn about, when they discovered that they were meant to be and that their love was set into motion a very long time ago.

# CHAPTER TWENTY

The next morning found the two of them still lounging in bed at 10 AM.

"I'm glad now that I took vacation for the next week," Derek yawned as he sat up on the side of the bed. "I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. If I keep it up they are going to think I'm trying to retire early."

Rachel had actually already been up and left a shipment for the delivery man on the front porch, let the dog out, and made it back to bed before Derek had even stirred.

"Oh nonsense you haven't taken that much time off...I know because I have to miss you almost every day while you are at work. Now come on let's get up and at em, mister."

They showered together and then ate breakfast, something Rachel was doing more of these days. She knew now just how beautiful her body was—Derek had taught her that. While she had always been self-conscious of her body, all that had changed since Derek. He let her know from their very first night together just how sexy she was to him.

While she dressed, he made a phone call, and a couple of hours later they were back in the mountains where Derek had stopped to order the necklace a few weeks before.

When they told Earnest—or Ernie as Derek loved to call the elderly jewelry artist—what they were there for, he looked back and forth between them a few times.

"I guess my necklace made a real impression, eh?"

After a few minutes of small talk they got down to the business regarding the rings. Rachel was in no rush, but Derek was a different story. To him, a specially made ring more than sealed the deal, but for Rachel last night sealed it just fine. However, the two carat heart shaped diamond surrounded by twenty-nine tiny black diamonds that Ernie would design for her was also pretty fine.

Derek, she had found, had great taste in everything, and their rings were no exception. The band he designed for himself was a larger version of the band he had slid on Rachel's finger the night before. Both rings would have one word engraved on the inside band—Promises. They left the place and stopped off for lunch, and then went in search of the perfect wedding gift for the two people who had brought them together in such an unexpected way. They made it back in town with only an hour to spare before the huge wedding rehearsal dinner was to begin.

The rehearsal dinner that night came with the usual small glitches. However, Jan's more than capable wedding planner Vern fixed them all before the bride-to-be even had the chance to worry over them.

The plan at the end of the evening was for Jan, along with Jan's parents who had driven from Augusta earlier that day, to stay overnight at Rachel's place.

After the dinner, and hours of conversation, Rachel walked Derek out to his car. No one in the crowd noticed that either of them had slipped away. Derek had decided to leave a little early because he had to drop by his office and leave his on call some notes regarding some of his patients for the next few days since he wouldn't be there.

When they reached his vehicle parked far out in the parking lot of the place Derek turned to her and asked.

"Is this what you want Rachel? I mean do you want a big fancy wedding...because you know it's all up to you. I'm me, and all I want is you, just like I told you before. I want you, that's all."

She thought about it for a minute before answering. She and Mike had been married by a Justice of the Peace. She had often pondered the thought of a big, extravagant wedding someday, but as far as Rachel was concerned weddings were just for show. She took his hands in hers.

"You know what...it's really not Derek. I feel as you do. I want you...that's all. I don't need all of this. I mean, it's fine for Jan because this is Jan's dream, but it's not mine...not at all. I think it would be wonderful for you and I and the few friends that we have to all go up to the waterfall in the mountains. We can have a small simple ceremony. I would go insane if I had to worry about all of the stuff that she has in the past year. The amount of money Jan and her parents have spent on this wedding...I mean seriously? We could go on three honeymoons! Then we would still have money left to buy a small yacht," she laughed.

Since he had parked so far out, he didn't worry much about putting his arms around her and pulling her into him. He really didn't give a damn anyway now who saw them together. However, out of respect, he still wanted to make their relationship as well as their engagement public after the wedding was over and done with. He didn't want to steal the focus.

He kissed her forehead as she rested her head on his chest.

"When do you want to do it? Derek asked.

"Right now in the back seat of your nice big ole SUV," Rachel teased as she pushed against him.

"I'm talking about the ceremony at the falls...horny lady," he said, smacking her on her rear end.

She smiled up at him, but then her tone took on a serious note.

"So when are we going my old house...I still have some things I need to tell you, and I want to do it there."

She paused, because she was getting a little nervous.

"Almost two weeks from now is the anniversary of my father's death. His was the first in the chain of shitty events that fucked up my life."

Her words were a little slurred, which made Derek think perhaps she had a little more wine than he had noticed.

"He was the first one to leave me, so I always try to go back on the anniversary of his death. My senses always seem to be stronger then. Maybe you could feel it too...if you try."

He was sure now that she did have a little too much moscato, and that it probably accounted for some of this talk about him seeing things too. She looked up at him as though she had read his thoughts and said.

"I'm not drunk Derek...not at all, I'm being serious."

"Okay, I know baby...but who is driving you back to your place?"

He already knew that Jan's parents were the designated drivers, but the truth was it was Derek's futile attempt at changing the subject—the thought of any of that kind of stuff made him feel ill with ease. He may believe what she had told him, but embracing it was a different story.

He walked her back to the front of the country club's sprawling front porch that had been designed in the style of old southern homes that lined the streets of Savannah. It made him think of the few years he and Claire had lived there before she died.

"Did you change the subject on purpose back there when I asked when you wanted to get married?"

"Not at all Derek...I just want you to know everything first. After we go to my old home place in a couple weeks I will happily marry you anytime, after you know the truth."

Derek watched Rachel walk back inside.

I'll never get tired of watching her walk, he thought as he back stepped toward his car, all the while wanting nothing more than to follow her back inside, take her by the hand and walk her back out to his car. He wanted to take her to the back seat, since she had offered after all.

As though she had read his mind, his cell phone was vibrating in his pocket, by the time he reached his vehicle: it was a text.

Wait! That was all it said.

He waited as she had asked for at least ten minutes before she came out. She climbed into the passenger seat beside him.

"Change of plans...they are all staying at the lake house tonight. I walked back into a hailstorm of fantastic family fun night festivity ideas that ten different people were all spouting out at the same time. Gotta love those extended family members that get tanked and want to make a party out of everything. Thank God you hadn't left yet, or you would have been turning around."

She smiled innocently at him when she said it.

"I could see it going places I didn't want to be when Jan's drunk uncle Jim shouted out: Hell yeah we can all go skinny dipping! It's a good thing that the wedding isn't until 4PM I guess...that's a party that's going to run on into the wee hours of the morning. They wanted the two of us to drive out, but I lied and said I wasn't feeling well. Of course now Jan is flipping out thinking I won't be at the wedding! That young lady can be so melodramatic!"

Derek sat in his driver's seat, taking in her tipsy humor, as well as her beauty. Listening to her go on about the hillbilly clan, as she called them, made his sides ache from laughter. It was small things like this that made Derek feel content in his life, and the choices he had made within the last few weeks.

Finally catching his breath from the laughter, he looked over at her. He noticed that a look of sadness had crept over the beautiful profile of her face. The moonlight only enhanced her beauty. He reached over and touched her cheek with the back of his fingers. He didn't have to ask her—he had worked his way into her psyche deep enough to know what it was that was troubling her. It was the family thing, and her lack thereof.

"Rachel, like I told you before, I'm your family now baby, and I'm not going to leave you...ever." He was still caressing her cheek when he felt the wetness of her tears on his fingers.

"Thank you," her voice choked back the tears, "That means the world to me Derek...it really does. I just realized that once again, I'm not going to have any of that for my wedding. I'm not going to have my family there on the happiest day of my life. When I see her with her family, I envy her so much. Is that awful of me?"

He could see that she was fighting to hold back her tears.

"Dammit! Why am I crying all the time these days...what is wrong with me?! I'm like a whiney broad in a sappy romance flick!" she said rather flustered.

He couldn't give Rachel her family back, so Derek did the only thing he could at the time. He got out, and went around to the passenger's side of the SUV.

"What are we doing?" she asked, a little confused.

"This," he answered as he slid to the far driver's side of the back seat, pulled her to him and cradled her on his lap as someone would a child in pain. He held her that way for a long time.

After a while they drove to his office so he could leave the notes and tie up some loose ends since he would be out of the office for a week. Rachel sat on the oversized leather couch in his office watching him work. He was finishing up at his desk when he looked over in her direction and noticed she was unbuttoning her blouse.

She motioned for him to come to her and he did. She unzipped his pants, and slipped her hand inside. A thought occurred to him as she caressed him.

In the sixteen years that I've been a veterinarian, I've never...not one time...had sex in any of my offices.

Rachel had already changed so many things about him, and this was definitely a good change.

Weddings, and all of the last minute catastrophes that seem to accompany them can sometimes be the equivalent of Black Friday sale gone bad. Things can go south quickly, and Rachel could see this wedding was no exception. By early morning, she was ready to skip town with Derek in tow.

Jan had gotten to the chapel on time with only one problem, and that was her hair. It took an hour and two stylists called in at the last minute to fix what had been done to it. While her cousin on her mother's side was an experienced hair stylist, clearly her talent in the area of updos was lacking to say the least.

"I knew better!" Jan snarled as the pros worked their magic on her long mane.

While the bride was undergoing major repairs, the bridesmaids were in a heated discussion over money. From what Rachel could decipher from the two squabbling hens was that one owed the other for an expensive bar tab from the night of the bachelorette party. The respective mother-in-laws-to-be were the only two behaving in the room at the time.

All of the commotion going on in the bridal area had Rachel contemplating finding an exit—quickly. Instead she decided to put on her game face and get down to business. After clearing everyone out of the room she sat down on the small loveseat and gazed at her friend. Rachel was in awe of her beauty right now.

"Has anyone bothered to tell you yet just how breathtaking you look today? You have to be one of the most beautiful brides I think I've ever seen, Jan."

Jan could feel the tears trying to come for at least the fifth time since early morning.

"Oh Rachel...you are going to make me cry. Listen, I know you and I have not had a lot of time together the past few weeks...have I been a horrible friend?"

Jan had a look on her face that told Rachel she had many regrets when it came to their longtime friendship.

"Jan—" Rachel started, but Jan stopped her.

"Rachel, we've been friends since we were little girls...I know we kind of lost touch for a few years after I moved away, but we both knew that we were always there for each other no matter how far apart we were...right?

Rachel started to speak again, but it was postponed a second time.

"Please let me say all of this while I have the nerve Rach, okay? Now, I know there have always been things about your life that you could never bring yourself to share with me. I've never understood why really...I would never judge you."

Rachel did not entirely believe that last part. She wanted to remind Jan of the time when they were fifteen, when she had tried to confide in Jan. Rachel had wanted more than anything to tell her best friend back then everything that consumed her life.

She wouldn't allow me to...has she forgotten all about that time? Rachel thought.

Rachel could remember every word Jan had said to her back then one night during a sleepover at her house. She could nearly hear them in her head now.

Rachel, I am a Baptist...my father is a minister for God's sake! I am sorry, but I am not going to believe any of this nonsense that you are trying to tell me about your grandmother being a witch, or some kind of weirdo who sees people's thoughts. Whatever it is that strange old lady does, I don't want to know about it. Please save yourself the time of telling me your silly ghost stories. I don't buy into that stuff, I believe in God and my daddy says if you believe in God you can't believe in that nonsense. So please Rachel...enough. I don't want to hear it!

Her best friend had both wounded Rachel and opened her eyes at the age of fifteen. She had taught her a valuable lesson: there are some things that even the people you love aren't capable of understanding, much less helping you with.

Jan sat at the vanity mirror and peered back at Rachel, who was sitting behind her on a plush loveseat.

"I know...I know about you and Derek...and before you speak, no one has told me anything, it's undeniable. Anyone could see the connection between you two...it's so strong. It wasn't just the fact of him being at your house that day I dropped by. Nor was it the way you two held one another the other night. I saw you together a week or so ago. You guys were walking downtown and you were holding hands. It was all I could do not to go to you, but then I realized that you hadn't told me about it for a reason, so I left."

There was anger in her voice now.

"Why would you guys want to not tell me...to not tell us? Ken and I are your closest friends...of course we are happy about it Rachel."

Jan was looking at Rachel now like she had just stolen something very dear from her.

Rachel crossed the room and sat down beside her—she picked up Jan's hand and began to explain it all.

"Do you remember when we were in our teens...a couple years before my father died? It was one of the few nights you stayed over at my house. I tried to tell you something about myself that night, while we were in the tree house...about my grandmother and my father as well.

Jan nodded reluctantly.

"Do you remember what you told me?"

"Rachel we were kids...I couldn't even grasp what you were trying to tell me then. All I knew was my father would have disowned me if I had entertained the notion that any of what you believed was true."

Jan paused for a minute. Rachel could tell her friend was surprised by the fact that she had brought up something that happened so long ago.

"Wait a minute...you can't possibly mean that was why you didn't want to tell me. Rachel...seriously? What could your relationship with Derek possibly have to do with something that happened between us over twenty-five years ago? We were just a girls, Rachel."

Rachel had a bad feeling that Jan was about to launch into another rant about the bonds of friendship, trust, and love. About how friends should never keep such important matters like falling in love from their close friends.

"You really shouldn't do this so close to the wedding...especially when I'm responsible for your having met the person you are in love with!"

Rachel noticed that Jan's volume was progressively rising. She then questioned Rachel as to why she had not tried again later in life to open up about all of that stuff.

This was how our friendship has always been, Rachel thought angrily: Jan lecturing, and me nodding in agreement. She felt it was time to change the dynamics of their friendship.

"Jan!" Rachel yelled. Jan stopped talking abruptly—like someone had flipped an internal switch that magically controlled her mouth.

"You are the one that shouldn't be doing this now...in this place while there are ten other woman in the next room. We have exactly forty-five minutes until you walk down the aisle. For fuck's sake, Jan, couldn't we do this later...perhaps?"

Rachel had lost every bit of calm she had dug so deep to find—just minutes ago.

"No, you know what...never mind all of that...this is long overdue, and you are going to sit here, and listen for once."

Jan somehow knew that it was imperative that she do just that. She remained completely silent.

"You want to know why I haven't told you...well this is why...You! This is what you do: you lawyer up on me every time. You turn it all around and twist it, until I don't even know which side of the truth is real! One of the reasons I didn't tell you is because I did not want this."

Jan sank back a little in her chair as Rachel continued.

"The biggest reason though, is because you would have made such a huge deal out of it all. You would have made it all about you, and how you changed my life by bringing Derek into it. Don't get me wrong Jan, I will be eternally grateful to you and Ken both for pushing Derek and I into meeting one another; however, I don't want to feel indebted to you for the rest of my life for it. So, to answer your question, it had nothing to do with you turning your back on the real me when we were fifteen. Since we decided to lay it all on the table now though I will say this: I kept it all hidden inside of me for most of my life before I met Derek. At the time I opened up to him, we had only known one another for a few months yet he listened to everything I had to tell him. Why couldn't my best friend of thirty two years do that for me?"

Rachel got up and moved back to the loveseat to make it harder for the busy bodies in the next room to hear her voice. She continued to clarify some things for Jan.

"You know what I think...it wasn't just because of your father, it was because my problem was too messy for you to deal with. It didn't fit into your ideals of what life was about...I'm sure it still doesn't. What I have is not something you can put under your microscope and give a name to. Derek isn't like you though. He can see beyond his own world, and listen without shaming me, even though what I told him conflicts with his beliefs. He has given me so much Jan...so when he asked me to keep our relationship private for just a little while longer, I agreed...happily. We both wanted more time to grow together as a couple without anyone else trying to influence us. If that's too hard to understand then so be it, but I won't apologize for it."

After Rachel was finished with everything she had to say, her tone softened a little bit.

"I'm sorry Jan, but sometimes you have a tendency to not see both sides of the coin. Not everything in life fits into your perfect mold."

Five minutes ago, the noisy women in the adjoining room had all been busy fixing hair and makeup. However, after hearing the commotion they fell silent—like a group of Catholic school girls who had been shushed by a very serious nun, with a very long yard stick. They all remained perfectly quiet.

Rachel had sensed their eavesdropping due to the unusual silence that had suddenly filled the air. She knew that in true female fashion, they had all jumped, probably for joy to the same wrong conclusion. There was a girl fight brewing in the next room.

Unfortunately for the spectators, it wasn't as much of a fight as it was a new understanding—and it had been a long time coming.

"Rachel, I'm going to run the risk of sounding predictable I guess, but I have to say this. I'm sorry, but I cannot understand you keeping your relationship with Derek a secret from me. I am the one that wanted you two to meet...remember that? I mean, granted I didn't think you two would fall in love in the matter of weeks or months. By the way, when did it happen?"

Rachel sat back down beside her best friend.

"Jan, the truth is I started falling in love with him that first night we met"

Jan actually seemed to doubt her.

"Are you kidding me?" Jan asked.

"Jan, you know I would have never went looking for this, but it happened. What is between Derek and I...the love...the connection that we have was completely meant to be. He knows almost every part of me...things that no one else does, and he still wants me. He still loves me through it all. He makes me want things I never thought I could. There are things that you don't know about me because you didn't want to know them...you never did, even later, and you know that. You would have asked me if you wanted to know, instead of waiting for me to bring it up again. You know it's the truth."

Jan smirked and nodded slightly, as if reluctantly agreeing with Rachel.

"As much as I know you love me, I also know that you have never been capable of accepting me the way that I truly am...the same way Mike couldn't," Rachel said. "But Derek can, he always could...he didn't shut me up the way you did. He didn't belittle me, and call me crazy the way Mike did whenever I tried to open up to him. Derek has always listened to me...he was the first person to do that since my grandmother."

All Jan could do was listen, she couldn't defend not having been there for her friend the way she should have been in the past, or even in recent years. She had been there for Rachel when her father died, but after that Jan admittedly became absorbed in her own life and living it. She was able to admit to herself now just how much she had failed to be there for her friend when she needed her the most.

"Rachel...all I can say is I am so sorry. I just couldn't deal with what you wanted to tell me back then. I knew that it would change things between us, and I didn't want things to change. As we grew older...you never brought it up again, so neither did I. I guess I hoped that maybe it was all just something that you had imagined after all. I'm a horrible friend," Jan sobbed.

"No...no don't do that," Rachel scolded, "You will ruin your makeup. See, this is why I knew we shouldn't get into all of this now dammit. It's all okay...we can fix all of this some other time—this is a happy time. You have the man you love waiting to marry you, that's all that should matter at all right now...okay?"

She pulled Jan to her feet as she grabbed a tissue to dry her tears. Jan reached over and hugged Rachel for a long time.

The old Rachel would have felt uneasy with an act of love like this, even from her longtime friend. The Rachel that Derek had helped re-discover, on the other hand, welcomed the affection and embraced her friend for the first time since they were girls.

In another part of the chapel, Ken was pacing at a rate that was making Derek feel dizzy.

"What is wrong with you?" Derek finally asked.

"I don't know, but I feel like something is. Listen, would you please go over there, and make sure she's alright? I've been texting her and she's not answering. What if she's changed her mind?"

Derek laughed at the desperation in his friend's voice.

"You really think that she would do that after all the years you two have been together? Better yet, after all the money she has spent on this?"

"Derek...she knows about you and Rachel. Well, I mean, everybody knows something is up, but Jan knows. She saw the two of you together downtown one day, and from what she said you and Rachel were pretty chummy. She's hurt, and to tell you the truth so am I...at least a little man. I mean why didn't you want us to know?"

Derek stood up and walked over to the window. His mind went back to the day he was notified of his wife's death and how he had called Ken before he had called his own sister.

"I was afraid, Ken. I didn't want to share it because I felt like if we did then I could lose her. If we made it real to the world then life could jump up, and strike any time it wanted to. Life really is a bitch, you know."

Derek went on to tell Ken about how much he had fallen in love with Rachel, and how fast it had happened. He told him about some of the things she had told him about herself and her life.

"It only made me love her more...the fact that she trusted me with such personal and painful things that had happened to her. She asked me to help her work through some of them...made me feel more needed than I had in a long time. Those feelings made me think of Claire."

He told Ken that he wanted to keep their relationship a secret because in some crazy way, he felt as if the forces in the universe had taken Claire from him. They couldn't take Rachel if it was a secret. He knew how absurd it sounded, but it didn't make it any less true for him.

"I just wanted it to be mine and hers for as long as possible."

Ken decided it was time to lighten the mood, so he walked over to his best friend, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"So...is it true what they say about green eyed white women with brown hair?" Ken asked in a serious, yet comical tone. "I mean...you know I've known her a lot longer than you, but not like you do buddy."

It was what men do—it's one of those traits that sets them apart from women. When the conversations start getting too deep, a true guy friend will make a good joke of it all, and Ken was a great guy friend.

Just then, Ken's phone rang. It was Jan, explaining why she had not been answering her phone. She assured him that all was okay, even though she and Rachel had some things to work through.

Thirty minutes later the wedding started, it went as smoothly as any wedding could. Derek had a hard time concentrating on anything except the deep garnet red dress that Rachel was wearing.

He remembered the dream he had the first night he had met her. Looking back over the past couple of months, some parts of the dream made sense to him now. He had a feeling he would understand it a little better after going where she wanted him to go with her. The thought of helping the woman he loved so much, find her answers—didn't unnerve him so much as it intrigued him now. He almost felt like there were things he needed to know as well. It was that same feeling he had been having since she had confided in him. Like he was on the verge of something.

Rachel was looking at him as though she knew everything he was thinking. When his eyes met hers—she smiled, and winked at him just as the newly married couple kissed.

The reception was underway by five thirty. The plantation it was held at oozed the typical southern charm that all plantations in the south do. October was one of the best months in the south for a wedding. This one was four days before Halloween, so naturally the reception doubled as a costume party.

The leaves were turning beautiful shades of amber and rose. The air was crisp, but not yet cold—it was laced with smell of distant smoke from burning leaves. An autumn theme wasn't the most original idea, but they had done it to perfection. The place was decorated in a shade of off-white—almost that of French vanilla ice cream—coupled with shades of garnet, citrine and amber. The room was adorned with candles and flowers of the various colors everywhere the eyes could see. To say it was breathtaking would have been selling it short.

As the guests trickled into the place, the wedding party gathered in the back rooms for changing into their costumes. This was what all of the headaches and bitching had all boiled down to: a group of people dressed in ballroom gowns and tuxedos to perform a dance to a love song taken straight from the pages of the love story of Jan and Ken.

The males involved in the scenario were fortunate—their wedding attire, and dance attire were one in the same. For the females it was a different story, and one that was a lot more of a pain in the ass, as Rachel saw it. Twenty-five minutes to get dressed in the whole get-up was something Rachel was wishing she had no part of. After fighting with a zipper for five minutes, she peeked out the door and found her hero. As if he couldn't look sexier to her in his tux, he had now added the black and silver Venetian style masquerade mask.

"God you look hot...as in sexy...not sweaty," she whispered.

She wanted to pull him into the private dressing room and have her way with him, but realized there would be nothing worse than missing curtain call. Rachel laughed a little at the thought of it.

"Are you laughing at me? Dammit I knew I looked ridiculous...black men don't do this kind of thing. Hell, white men, or any other color of men don't do this...do they? This is so over the top Rachel I can't believe it," Derek said jokingly.

"They do if they love their friends a whole lot...or say maybe they owe them big time?" she said as she pulled him into the dressing room.

"I was not laughing at you silly. I was laughing at the thought of what I wanted to do to your sexy ass right now. I think you should really bring that mask home with us later."

She may have been laughing as she said it, but she meant it.

Derek put one arm around her waist, and slipped it into her unzipped dress.

"Noooo...we can't. We have ten minutes until the lunacy starts. Remember we're in crazy town now and Jan's the mayor, and we both know that homey don't play."

The two of them were stifling their laughter now like two kids looking at nudie pics in church.

"Shhh...people are going to hear us. Listen mister, all I need from you at this moment is my zipper fixed. Either I've gained ten pounds from your cooking every night, or something is hung up in it that I can't feel."

He inspected it by kneeling down behind her, and couldn't resist kissing the small of her back. She reached around, playfully grabbing his ear.

"You are in so much trouble when we slow dance Derek." Once again he didn't mistake her smile for her lack of seriousness.

"Promise?" he asked as he pulled a tiny pin out of the middle of the zipper, and zipped up the back of the dress.

"I'm surprised this didn't stick you, and by the way you haven't gained an ounce to this pretty round rump," he said smacking her on it.

"I have to go find my mask. I think I left it on the table in the other room," Rachel said. She was reaching for the door knob when he took her hand.

"Hey, are you okay Rach? I mean...about what you told me happened at the chapel on the drive over here. It sounded pretty intense."

She looked up into his masked eyes.

"Yes, I am fine, Jan and I will work it out. You know what else," she said, slipping her arms around his waist. "I'm thanking God a lot these days, that he thought I was deserving enough to send me you my love. Do you know what you do to me? Seriously, do you have any clue how loved you make me feel. I'm better than I've ever been. You've awakened a strength in me that I never knew I had."

She kissed him in a slow sensual way that made him want more, he wanted to be inside of her more than anything, but he knew it was just wishful thinking. They had roughly five minutes, and he knew that wouldn't do, so he settled for just holding her close for a moment. A minute later they were exiting the private dressing room to see the eyes of at least six people they knew glued on them. After saying some polite hellos, they made their way to center stage where Jan had told everyone in her wedding party to meet at six thirty, sharp.

The dance was a mixture of ballroom with a little twist of what could only be called sexy. This was the best way Rachel could describe it every time she discussed it with someone, which she had done a lot in the past few months. She made no bones about the fact that she thought the whole thing was a bit much. However, the fact that Derek was her dance partner made it doable for Rachel.

While dancing with him tonight, she couldn't help but think back to how awkward it had been the first couple of times they had rehearsed as dance partners. That awkwardness had quickly turned into fun for the both of them, and that had made it easier. He had made it bearable for her the same way he had many other things.

The song that accompanied the big show was Here Without You by Three Doors Down. The song had a special meaning to the bride and groom who had endured living far away from one another for a few years early in their relationship. And in the end, the three hundred or so guests at the reception loved the whole crazy—yet well-rehearsed performance.

After the dance, the next order of business was Derek's toast, which was both funny and heart-warming. After that came the fabulous gourmet meal, followed by the cake cutting. Rachel leaned over and asked Derek to unzip the top of her long gown.

"My piano gig is up next for their first dance, so to speak."

He smiled and obliged, asking her if he could come and watch.

"I'm a little nervous...I guess I can think about you undressing me later while I'm up there playing the piano...you know, to take the edge off?" She winked at him, and was on her way.

After Rachel had changed into the low-cut, emerald green, thigh length dress—that not even Derek had been privy to seeing—she sat down at the piano that was hidden behind the curtain. This was a part of the wedding reception that was a surprise from Ken to Jan. She had no idea of the song, or that Rachel would be playing and singing for their first dance.

Since the two of them had met in piano class as young girls, Ken knew just how much it would mean to Jan for her best friend to play for her after so many years. She could hear Ken telling everyone something about a surprise first dance, then the DJ gave Rachel the signal to begin.

If there was one thing most people—including Derek, didn't know about Rachel, it was: that she was great at playing the piano, and she sang even better. However, it was something she rarely did, and for good reason.

Before the curtain pulled back she started just as rehearsed with:

"At last my love has come along..."

When the curtain fully opened Rachel felt absolutely at ease, and she knew why. She was different now, she wasn't who she used to be, because of him and he was here with her in every way.

Jan and Ken were at the center of the dance floor. When Jan saw it was Rachel sitting at the piano she burst out into tears, and could barely compose herself enough to dance with her groom.

Derek was beyond captivated right about now. He had overheard her playing only bits and pieces on the piano several times when she practiced for this, but she had never sung—at least not in his presence. Her voice is almost as sensual and sexy as Miss Etta's herself, he thought as he sat mesmerized. As she was singing the last verse, she found his gaze in the dim light of the room, and sang it to him.

# CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

After she had finished, and while the whole room was applauding, Ken's uncle Rob who was sitting to Derek's right leaned over to him and said.

"You are one lucky man Derek."

Derek smiled back at him.

"You have no idea, Rob."

When Derek looked back at the stage, Jan was by Rachel's side before she was able to get up from the piano.

"How...when did you do this? I mean, how did I not know?" Jan asked.

Rachel pointed over Jan's shoulder to Ken.

"It was his idea...he thought since you and I had met playing the piano...well you know the rest."

"You have changed so much, Rachel."

Without missing a beat, Rachel pointed over Jan's other shoulder.

"Well...that was him, he did that one," she said while smiling.

The two of them sat at the piano while Jan cried and apologized for every selfish act she had ever committed in their friendship.

"Rachel...I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I didn't let you open up to me about the problems that you had, because I was afraid. I'm here now though, and I will listen. I will keep an open mind, and even if I don't understand it all, I will accept whatever it is."

"Jan, sweetie this is your day, a day that you will never forget. Let's not spend any more of it hashing out bad memories. Someday, you and I will sit down, and have a nice long talk, but for now we are good...okay?"

Jan nodded in agreement, and then quickly diverted the conversation to Derek.

"Rachel, he's a good man...he really is. He has had a really bad hand dealt to him with what happened to his wife and all. That's why I wanted him to meet you. I knew he would love you, and I knew you would love him too. You are both hard people not to love. I didn't mean to overreact about you two keeping your relationship to yourselves. I understand now why you chose to."

Even though Jan didn't totally understand, it was done, and she was over it—somewhat. What mattered the most to her was that two people she cared about very much had found love with one another.

"Jan, you have no idea just how wonderful he is, thank you so much for making me go on that dinner date five months ago."

Before she could finish the wedding planner rushed over saying he had to steal Jan away from Rachel. It was time for the father daughter dance.

Rachel kissed her friend before she was whisked away. She sat at the piano, and watched Jan do something that she had never done, something she never would do—dance at her wedding with her father.

"You were incredible," Derek said from behind her in his deep, sensual voice.

As Derek sat down next to her on the piano bench, he was looking at her like she had just performed a sold out concert at Carnegie Hall.

"What?" she asked, looking at him like a school girl blushing after her first kiss.

"Dance with me."

He slid his arm around her waist.

After the father daughter dance had ended, the dance floor filled up. While the two of them danced, he pulled her close.

"I seem to recall you said something earlier about making me pay on the dance floor." He was holding her so close that she could feel the stiffening inside his tuxedo pants against her.

"Derek, people are going to think—"

"Think what?" he whispered in her ear, "That we are in love? That I love you more than I ever thought I could ever love anyone else again in my life? Are they wondering if I'm going to take you home tonight, and peel this incredibly sexy dress off of you, and kiss every inch of your body?"

"I...um...well."

She found herself stammering, and trying to find the words, but by now she didn't give a damn what anyone in the room thought. She didn't notice anyone else—her mind was consumed with Derek's words, and the way he was moving against her as they danced. The dance floor was packed, but at that moment there was no one else, but the two of them.

He looked down at her and into her eyes—eyes that he loved. "Rachel I will shout it to the world if you like...I'll get up there on stage right now and tell them all."

He was smiling—so was she.

"We could go get lost in that private dressing room," he offered.

"Down big guy," she said moving seductively against his groin. "We have to get through the rest of this crazy night first...then you can have your way with me all you want."

She nuzzled her face in his neck.

"Oh I need to wear three inch heels more often," she added.

"Yes woman, you most certainly do."

After a night of dancing and even more drinking, the crowd finally started to dwindle down just a bit.

Ken and Jan were saying their goodbyes by ten o'clock. They were leaving on the red eye flight that night for a month long honeymoon in Europe. Going there had a been a dream of Jan's since sixth grade, and now her dream was coming true thanks to her wealthy parents, and some money Ken had put away.

Derek and Rachel were the last of the wedding party to leave as the cleanup crew showed up shortly before midnight. They made it home around one in the morning. Being more exhausted than they had realized, they both managed to shower quickly, and then fell into bed.

"Rain check on that kissing me all over thing please," Rachel said as she yawned.

"Oh woman, you read my mind...I love you," Derek said as he turned out the bedside lamp and kissed her full lips.

Five minutes later they were both fast asleep. The next morning around eight-thirty, Rachel was awakened by Derek, sporting the mask, as he kissed her arm. He softly kissed up one side of it, and then down the other. He then made his way to all the other places on her body, just as promised.

At brunch that Sunday morning, Derek asked Rachel if she would start going to church with him sometimes.

She was caught off guard by the question.

"Derek, obliviously we aren't Christians, or we wouldn't be doing what—"

"Whoa whoa...wait a minute," he said. "Are you saying that what we are doing is wrong? I mean, I know in a lot of people's eyes we would be considered sinners...but Rachel even the most devout Christians can be sinners. I'm not a judgmental person, and I didn't think you were."

He was looking at her in a way that said he was more than a little offended.

"Sweetie, you are misunderstanding me," she picked up his hand, and continued.

"I'm not saying what we are doing is wrong. I guess what I was asking in my own totally clueless way is...isn't church filled mainly with those that happen to be living right, or in other words Christians? I guess I'm a bit cloudy when it comes to organized religion...to tell you the truth it scares me a little"

He was dismayed at the fact that she believed this—he was also amused by it.

"Baby, if those were the rules there wouldn't be very many people in church...including some preachers, priests, and ministers—I could go on and on here."

He smiled at her.

"Listen, I am not a perfect person. No one is, but I do have a relationship with God...and I'm sure he's pleased when I show up in his house from time-to-time," he said. "Going to church doesn't make someone good. That has to come from within. I'm just saying how about we go sometime? I have a very good friend who is a pastor at a small church in Walton County. Everybody is there for one thing...to celebrate their lives and their beliefs. There's no judging each other, or watching what others may, or may not be wearing. None of that nonsense that can go on in some congregations."

He looked at her a little more seriously now.

"I would like for him to marry us, if it's something you could be open to...given your past and all."

He waited—anticipating how she would react to the last part.

Rachel was focusing on every word he was saying now. She was trying desperately to think how she could answer without screwing up, and confusing him even more about where she stood regarding religion and spirituality. Rachel considered herself to be very spiritual—probably more so than a lot of the people who do attend church. She had what she always felt was a close relationship to God. As she saw it, she was very much in tune with her spiritual nature, and the order of the universe.

After making Derek aware of these things, she waited for him to speak, but interrupted him as he started to.

"Derek, I may be a little different in some ways from your everyday, run-of-the-mill kind of religious person, but I am spiritual just the same. I am now, and always have been very in tune with God, and the universe. I just choose to not tap into it as much as other people like me do. I guess I have built up a sort of resistance to what I may be capable of. I think the reason that I have done so is because of what my father's abilities did to him. To be completely honest with you, it scares the hell out of me to think of what my abilities could do to me...and my life. That is, if I ever allowed it into my world. Anyway...yes Derek, I will go with you, and I will meet your friend, because we are in this thing together. If you want him to marry us, then it's fine with me...I'm sure I will like him as much as you do my dear"

A big part of her meant it, but some small part of the old Rachel had crept in and created a little doubt in her mind. It had been her experience that men of faith have little if no tolerance at all for people like her. She had tried once when she was a young teenager to confide in the pastor of her family's church. The result of that encounter had been Pastor Bob sending her to the local library to study the ill effects of worshipping false Gods. He also recommended she look up books on the occult. She also found it very odd that the leader of her church had found it necessary to inquire about her virginity. After their talk, she never spoke two words to the man again.

For the next three days, much of their time was spent decorating Rachel's house for Halloween. It was one of her favorite holidays, and she spared no expenses.

"I love this house, you know," Derek said while untangling hundreds of orange twinkling lights late one afternoon in the front yard. "It reminds me of my grandmother's house in the mountains...it's so inviting, it just feels like home. You really have done a lot with it on your own you know."

Rachel stepped down—came over, and sat down beside him on the steps. She looked like she had something serious on her mind.

"Move in here with me...let's make it our home. I mean it's not like you haven't been spending ninety percent of your free time here. We are going to be married soon...I hope. Unless you aren't ready yet Derek, I'm sorry...I'm pushing, I didn't—"

"Rachel, slow down...let me say something, okay?"

She nodded.

"It's not that I don't want to live with you. Of course I want to live with you, I'm going to be married to you. It's just, this is your house. You told me how you bought it out right after your divorce with your own money that you made. I wouldn't feel right coming here and making this my home too when I didn't work for any of it. I hope that you can understand where I'm coming from."

He was tilting his head downward to try to find her eyes that were fixed on the ground.

"Look at me, baby. I need to know you understand what I'm saying, and that I'm not just dodging something here."

She looked at him, and proceeded to tell him some things—things she never thought she would be saying to a man.

"Derek, I do understand, but hear me out. What's mine is yours...I don't think you realize yet how much I trust you. Derek I trust you with my life, so surely I'm going to trust you with my home and everything else that's in my life. When I was married to Mike everything about us was separate. Separate bank accounts, finances...all of it. Honey, I had no idea what that man was doing right under my nose, and throughout most of our marriage. Not all of my marriage was like that. Hell, the first five years were pretty good, but it was never anything close to what you and I have created between us in such a short amount of time."

He had reached over and took her hand in his.

"Wanna know something else Derek, since you have been in my life, and especially sharing my bed...I sleep. I hadn't slept for eight straight hours since I was a child, until the first night we shared a bed together, and every night since. I know that Smyrna is a little further from town than Sandy Springs, but look at it here...look at how much privacy we have, there's no neighbors sitting right on top of us."

"You're not lying there," he said looking in the direction of the only other house on the street.

"Besides, wouldn't you love to skinny dip in that pool out back with me whenever you want?" She was smiling at him when she asked that last question.

"Skinny dip?" he asked her, while reaching over and kissing her. "Okay you convinced me now, I will sell my condo and move out here with you, but you get some of the money...as my part of the investment in our house."

"Deal," she said, as he picked her and spun her around. She threw her head back, and gazed up into the heavens that almost seemed to be gazing back at her. For a second she felt both extremely calm, and ill-at-ease with the feeling that someone was looking down on her.

"Come on now woman, let's finish decorating our house."

Two hours had passed as they put the last of the decorations up. By the time dinner was finished it was almost dusk. After they loaded the last of the dishes in the dishwasher, Derek walked to the sliding glass doors, and out onto the patio.

"Where are you going?" she asked from the kitchen. As she turned, she could see him standing there wearing nothing but a smile.

"I'm taking you up on that invite to skinny dip. I came out earlier, and turned the heater on...so it should be nice and warm by now."

He motioned for her to join him as he dove in. She put Jasper in the utility room in his bed, stripped off all of her clothes and walked slowly out onto the patio. Derek came up out of the water to see her standing by the edge of the shallow end looking down at him.

"You are so beautiful Rachel...come here, and let me show you how much I want you right now. After their lovemaking, they spent the rest of the evening talking and swimming in the crisp, cool October night air.

For the first time since they had become so close Derek questioned her about something that had been on his mind. Just how had she managed to get out of her marriage to a lawyer, and not lose every penny she had? Especially considering the lawyer in question. As they embraced by the end of the pool, he asked her to tell him how she had managed to part ways from such a bastard without him making her life a living hell.

Even though Mike had been the one caught cheating in the marriage, he still must have had the upper hand. It just didn't make sense to Derek, with all of the stories Rachel had told him about how manipulative her ex could be. It led him to believe she must have pulled one hell of a magic trick to get out of that marriage in as good of shape as she had.

"I mean seriously Rachel, how did you get away from him, and still have a dollar left to your name?"

She swam over to the side, got out, and walked over to the small adjoining hot tub. She motioned for him to come and get in it with her.

"Is it that serious?" he asked jokingly. He laughed as he joined her, having no idea yet just how serious it was about to get.

"Oh, my sweet man," she said touching his face. "Once again I'm about to tell you something that I've never told anyone else. I know you must be so tired of hearing that from me by now. I'm so afraid that someday...you are just going to throw in the towel, and say enough."

She grimaced a little at the thought, and slid farther into the hot water.

"The only other person that knows about this is Mike, and that's only because he was there. The only reason he gave me a divorce, and didn't annihilate me in the process was because he did something. It was really awful, and he knew if it ever became public knowledge it would destroy him. The day after I found out he was cheating on me with Joanna we had a horrible fight. He didn't come home until the next day. That was the day the man I had been married to for fifteen years tried to kill me."

# CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Then:

When Rachel walked back into the yard from the woods that surrounded it, she saw him standing there by the large tree stump that was once a huge cascading oak tree.

He finally decided to come home, she thought, tilting her head to the side as she admired his lean build. This man tore my heart out, and shattered it into a million pieces yesterday. I'll never find all the pieces again...not after this.

So much was swimming around in her head as she started to speak.

"You have never understood anything about me have you...but I don't think you ever wanted to."

Mike was startled just a bit because he had no idea where she had been. He couldn't look at her, no matter how hard he tried, so he kept his eyes fixed on the piece of wood he had been chipping away at, before she had walked out of the woods.

When he didn't respond, it infuriated her more than anything she had ever known. She stepped a little closer to him and continued.

"You asked me once a long time ago, what it was that I could see and hear there in that place, but when I tried to tell you Mike...you didn't want to hear it. You said you couldn't handle me lying to you. But now we both know who the liar is, don't we? Yet...you are blaming me for this. You're saying that what I tried to tell you about me so many years ago is one of the reasons that you did this to me?"

The sound of her voice had created a harmonic effect off the trees that surrounded them in the back yard—and it echoed a little. It reminded him of the time in the caverns, and what happened there.

"I can tell you the truth, or I can tell you what you want to hear...just like I always have," she said, her voice rising steadily. "That's always been the case Mike...right? So tell me what you want me to say!"

She was screaming at him now—and it was making his head throb like someone was pounding on his brain with a brick from the inside. As if someone, or something else was controlling him now, his hand tightened its grip around the handle of the ax he had been using.

All he could think to say was Shut up you whiny bitch, but when he turned to actually say the words to her—he instantly noticed her feet. She wasn't wearing any shoes, but that wasn't what caught Mike's attention. It was the leaves around her feet—they appeared to be dancing. They swirled around her in a strange rhythmic motion as she stood there screaming at him. It was as if there was a strong breeze blowing and carrying them, but there was no wind at all—the air was as still as a sleeping child.

The child I never gave her, he said in his own head as his eyes slowly traveled back up her curvy body to meet her own eyes. They were boring through him like daggers piercing into his brain.

"How many times?" she asked him.

As he stared into her intense green eyes, he wondered for a moment how many secrets were hidden behind them.

"I asked you how many times you screwed her you weak...pathetic excuse of a man!"

Her words ripped through him like a knife. All he could think right now was one thing—she sounds just like that condescending bitch of a step-mother I grew up with.

Before he even knew what he was doing, he lifted the ax, and hurled it at his wife with such force that he lost his balance, and fell face first onto the ground.

Had the tool met its intended target, it would have planted deep into her left inner breast where her heart lived—probably killing her instantly. It didn't though.

A millisecond before it sank into her chest some unseen hand from her other world caught it mid-air, and threw it with extreme force, burying it in the center of a tree off to her left.

As if she were in some kind of trance, Rachel stood there staring at a man that she no longer knew, wondering if she had ever known him at all. Her face was void of emotion as she slowly walked toward him, and stopped beside him.

Mike was now standing, and stared straight ahead as she turned her pale face to him. She leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"Why don't you make me happy for once, and just die?"

She walked back into the house.

Now:

After Rachel had replayed the horrible event in her mind and told it to Derek, she began to feel a little sick to her stomach. She contributed it to the stress of going through it all again in her mind—she was wrong about that.

All Derek could do for a few minutes after she had finished was look at her. He was absorbing it all, and it wasn't easy. To think that man could have killed her because of an affair he was having.

Derek wanted to get out of the hot tub—find Mike Barnes, and beat the living daylights out of him. He didn't share that with Rachel.

The other thing that was troubling to him, was what she had said happened after Mike threw the ax at her.

Derek thought about asking what had stopped the ax, but before he could even ask the question, Rachel had once again read his thoughts, and answered them.

"I'm not sure what stopped the ax Derek...but from what I felt at the time it was me. Me...but some other form of me. Then again, it almost felt like something else intervened. I don't know if it was their forces combined somehow...together with mine or what. There was something else there that day with me. It felt strong, whatever it was, and it had taken over a part of me somehow just for a moment."

He was thinking about something hard she could tell—then he spoke.

"Rachel, I think we should go to your old house as soon as we can. I really need to understand all of this more than what I do right now."

"I do too Derek, more than you could ever know."

Part of it was true, but somewhere inside herself she was still afraid.

"You know what I keep thinking in the back of my mind Derek? What if we go there, and do find answers, but they are so unbelievably horrible that I can't handle it? What then...I mean where do I go from there? The more I think about it, the more I realize this is why I've never even tried. I've told myself it was because I didn't want to stir up bad memories, but who am I kidding, bad memories have consumed me all of my life...you know?

He could see where she was going with this and knew he needed to let her get there on her own, she needed it. So he listened.

"What if we uncover some awful secret about my family, or even worse...me? Is it going to drive me mad? Am I strong enough Derek to do this...are we strong enough? Can you honestly do this with me, and still love me for who I am in the end? You asked me not long ago, if there was anything I was keeping from you that would change the way you feel about me. I can honestly tell you now that I have no idea. I'm not sure what it is that's been locked away in my mind, but I know something was. As much as it scares me, I have no other choice now, but to unlock it. I'm so afraid I'll eventually lose you after I do."

She was very matter-of-fact about it all, and terrified as well.

He moved to her side, and put his arms around her—she was shivering now, and he pulled her down into the hot water.

"I am here, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm not afraid of this. Your truth is my truth, just like I told you before Rachel. We will find your answers, okay? Can you believe me when I say this to you?"

She knew that he meant it, at least at the time, but sometimes things happen that destroy every good intention a person has. Then the rules of the game can change—despite the best of intentions. Even though a part of her was afraid that Derek himself may change right before her eyes when it all got real, she didn't give into this fear. Rachel knew that something much bigger and stronger than either of them was insisting on being known. Despite her apprehensions, Rachel was coming to terms with everything that she was frightened of. Something inside had been trying to quash those fears for her. It was subtle, but she was hearing it in the far recesses of her mind. A small familiar voice kept assuring her that what was waiting to be found, was not all bad.

That night as they lay in bed, Derek told Rachel the story from his childhood when he almost died but, was saved unexpectedly by his dog, and something else.

"I guess I'm telling you this to let you know that I do believe that some things are unexplainable. I want you to know everything else there is to know about my life, and my family. I want to tell you about my mother, and the kind of woman she was, and about the awful way she died. Right now though I am so mentally drained. Can you understand me not wanting to hash out all of those bad feelings right now? Besides I'd rather focus my energy on you and all that you have going on right now"

She kissed him on his cheek and snuggled into the warmth of his body

"You can take as much time as you need to tell me whatever you want to about your life, and your family. I know enough to know who you are, and that's all that matters to me."

Rachel never pushed him much at all on the subject of his family, or his deceased wife. She knew Derek had his own pace when it came to opening up about painful things. The only thing that mattered to her about his first wife was that she had made him happy—which she had. Rachel knew that he had let go of her in the ways that he needed to. She was sure of it, because she knew he was the kind of man that would have never been able to love her the way that he did if he had not put his late wife to rest in his heart.

He talked her to sleep that night and proceeded to join her there soon after he did so.

Downstairs, Jasper whined a low, guttural growl—it wasn't the kind dogs typically make when they are threatened, or frightened by someone or something. He whined because he couldn't get out of the large cage that housed him while he slept. He had the desperate urge to chase the light that was dancing just beyond his reach. It played with him in a rather odd way, first hovering just within a paw's reach, and then darting to the ceiling above him, and back again. However, Jasper—being the good dog that he was—just watched in some canine kind of bewilderment, and refrained from barking at the light for the entire hour that it teased and tantalized him.

It took exactly two days for Derek's entire condo to be packed and moved into his new home that he and Rachel would share. It took Rachel the same amount of time to transfer her belongings from the storage room to the attic. She had a dozen crates containing papers dating back to her childhood. However, they paled in comparison to the amount of boxes and trunks that awaited her in the attic of the old place.

A few days after he got settled in to his new home, Derek began to think again about Rachel's old house and what was waiting there. The crazy thing was that even though he had never even seen a picture of the place, he was feeling like he was being pulled to it. Like someone or something was beckoning him to it.

"Have you thought anymore about when you want to do this Rachel? Go to the house I mean I know you mentioned your father's death before," he said, "I'm not being pushy, but my interest is definitely peaked...especially after what you told me about the incident with you and Mike. I want to find out what I'm up against here, because I don't want to ever be on the receiving end of whatever that was."

He was joking with her, but not completely.

"That would never happen, you and I are nothing like Mike and I were honey. I promise you I would never let—"

He stopped her before she could finish the sentence.

"I know that baby, I wasn't being totally serious there. I just want to get it done and over with Rachel. It's how I am...I'm not one to procrastinate."

She could sense the anxiety that had crept into his voice, it was vague—but there.

"Give me a date Derek. We will make it happen, you're the one with the demanding schedule here my love, not I."

She winked at him as she said it, and could see it lightened his mood—a little at least.

"Why don't we make a weekend of it? I think that would give us some time to sort through those things of your grandmother's you told me about."

"Derek I don't think I could stay an entire weekend, I seriously think I would go insane!"

While she stood in the light of the attic, he noticed she started to tremble just a little as if she were cold.

"Rachel, I'll be there with you, I won't let anything happen to you. We can get through this together, and hopefully find some answers, so you can begin to let go of some of this."

He had no idea at the time—just how wrong he was.

Derek could never really put a name on anything she had told him about her secrets. The strange gatherings her grandmother had taken Rachel to as a child. Then of course there was the unknown force that seemed to consume some hidden part of the woman he loved. All of it was completely unamenable as far as he was concerned.

He remembered her name for it, but just couldn't call it that. It was all crazy as hell to him, but somehow he believed it just the same, and he knew why. It was because he believed her, and believed in her more. He wanted to help her find her answers—more than anything, because finding answers meant they could move ahead—hopefully. He knew she was scared so was he; however, he felt if he didn't push her just a little, she would leave it alone just as she always had.

"Okay, Derek. I'll call Mr. and Mrs. Anders and tell them to get the place ready for us."

She knew that part would be easy, being as the couple kept the place up well. There was running water and electricity, but that was about it.

"We'll have to take some supplies. Other than that, I guess the place is pretty much ready for guests."

She was more than nervous about this—nervous didn't even scratch the surface of what she was feeling right now. The best thing that could happen would be: getting some solid answers to questions that had always occupied a nice little corner of her mind. The worst thing could be—that she and Derek never came back out of that place. Rachel shivered at that scenario.

"Alright, we will do it this next weekend. I'll make it a short day on Friday, and we can leave then. It'll be alright Rachel, please stop looking so worried baby."

He stood up, and went to her putting his arms around her to reassure both her and himself of it.

"I love you, do you hear me...no matter what, I love you," he said.

He could tell her not to worry all he wanted to, but he had never been there—he had never experienced the things that she had in the house.

It's one thing to hear about the supernatural...it's a whole other scary story to live it. Even if she didn't experience it that often, she knew it to be a fact.

All of this made Rachel recall a time in her early thirties when she had met a strange woman briefly. The woman claimed to see the future. She had approached Rachel at one of her first book signings. The things the woman told her seemed completely bizarre at the time, but now some of those things were making sense. It was all a bunch of gibberish in some ways, but then the woman had said something that still gave her chills.

"You are not where you are supposed to be in life, but someday you will come into your own greatness. Take care of family business first."

At the time Rachel had thought it was related to her writing, now she knew different.

Had it not been for her own experiences involving the paranormal, Rachel wouldn't have believed in what mediums and psychics do. However, having went through some of the things that she had in life, she knew unexplainable things existed. She never understood how they could deal with all that supernatural stuff that goes on around them, and inside their heads at all times of the day and night. She knew the woman was only there to help her somehow, but still it was a bit unnerving. Why this woman had chosen that particular place—then again, Rachel thought, they never choose anything...it just happens.

Rachel knew she had to deal with the things that she had refused to face in her life—if she ever had any hopes of embracing it, or being free of it.

It doesn't rule my life the way it does those loopy mediums that you see on TV...the ones who can't even grocery shop without some dead person harassing them about who's taking care of their cats or their tomato gardens. Rachel shivered at the very thought of it. She had seen only one spirit in her lifetime—the woman, and that was enough. She had no desire to see them everywhere all the time.

Rachel knew that unlike most of those mediums, though, she didn't suffer from lunacy. She suffered from the fear of not knowing, from having something, but having no idea what the hell it was. I still feel like it's so much more than I can fathom. This is the equivalent of knowing you have some unknown, horrible disease eating away at your insides, and having a team of clueless doctors trying to save you.

Hadn't Derek said that to her not long ago...or was it just something she had thought before? She couldn't quite recall. It wasn't important now, what was important was: she had someone on her side that she could tell everything to. She knew this for sure.

Hopefully she and Derek would spend the weekend at the old homestead, and they would leave there with answers and maybe more. It was as if she was standing on the edge of a really high cliff about to teeter over the side. She felt like she was about to lose something—some part of herself.

# CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

There was an old wives' tale that Rachel could remember from childhood that said if you die in your dream, you die for real. She knew this was nothing more than a story to scare children, because she had proven it to be untrue more than once. In the dream she had that night, it was at the hands of her father in some strange ritual that seemed a little too familiar. It made Rachel uneasy, even in her slumber.

It was the first nightmare she had suffered since she and Derek had been together as a couple. She woke up screaming in a cold sweat just as her father brought the knife to her throat, and sliced from one ear to the other.

Derek sat up in bed like he had been doused with ice cold water. As he did, just for a second he saw a flash in his peripheral vision—that place where we all tend to see the unexplained at least once or twice in our lifetime. As quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

It was more like a bright light that was hovering close to the ground. For just an instant it felt familiar—almost like it belonged.

He reached for her—she was fighting with someone, or something like her life depended on it. She swung at him, and caught him across his right jaw with one of her fingernails leaving a small, but deep scratch that would eventually leave a tiny scar. When she went to swing on him a second time—he was ready, and grabbed her arms while yelling her name in hopes to bring her back to reality.

Finally after what seemed like minutes, but was actually only seconds—she came around, and opened her eyes. They were wild, like a trapped animal. A few seconds later she was fully there with him sobbing, and trying to get her breathing to return to normal—it was coming in pants. When Derek realized she was hyperventilating, he pinched off one of her nostrils and coaxed her into slowing her breathing. Within a few minutes, her breathing had returned to normal.

She looked up at him while he was leaning over her, and noticed the scratch on his cheek that had started to bleed a little heavier now.

"I did that?"

He nodded his head.

"Yeah...you did, you have a mean left hook...so remind me to never piss you off. You are scrappy when you wanna be"

He grabbed a tissue from the box on the nightstand and wiped at the scratch.

"I'm so sorry Derek...I don't know where it came from," she said, sobbing uncontrollably. "He cut my throat...I was just a little girl in the dream, and he cut my throat. I could feel myself choking on my own blood...I was fighting him, but he was too strong...then I woke up.

"Rachel, who are you talking about baby?"

She looked away for a minute, and he noticed that it seemed like she was looking for something which struck him as odd. She turned back to him and answered.

"My father."

Neither of them slept for the remainder of the night. That was the night that Rachel decided to tell Derek about her grandmother. It was a long story, and one she had wanted to tell someone for a long time, but it wasn't until now—here with Derek that she had worked up the nerve.

Then:

Rachel Adams was ten years old the first time she saw the side of her grandmother Adams that only some were privy to. Grammy, as Rachel had referred to her since she could remember, was seventy-two, but the woman didn't look like she was pushing a minute past sixty. Fifty-five in good light.

Rachel's first full on encounter with who her grandmother truly was, took place in a room that had been carved out of the earth long ago. It was a four hundred square foot room that ran beneath the basement in her grandmother's home in rural northern Georgia. There was a short, crude tunnel that opened into a larger cavernous room. The place was dimly light with lanterns that hung along the cement walls. The room was vented up into the room above them, or at least that's where Rachel figured the vents led. It was like having a three story house in reverse.

The people that were gathered in the room that night were mostly female—there were only two males in the group. They all appeared to range in age from about forty to sixty years old. She wouldn't know until later that none of them were a day younger than sixty-five.

Their meeting, as they referred to it, was called to order by her grandmother. Rachel watched it all begin. As a ten year old, she felt mostly confusion more than fear. She knew her grandmother would never hurt her, or allow anyone else to, but she also didn't know why Grammy had wanted her here for this.

It was supposed to be a weekend spent doing fun stuff at grandma's house, and this was clearly no fun. Right about the time Rachel was thinking this was when the light show started. The group had been singing—or maybe not singing, as much as they were all saying something together that sounded like singing.

When the lights came, they seemed to appear out of the walls of the room. They were rainbows of colors, and many different sizes and shapes. They darted about the place like dancing fairies, but they weren't fairies—not by any means. This was her first time seeing them, but not her last. The light show wasn't the only thing that would embed itself in Rachel's memory. The smell of something being burned permeated the air—something her grandmother called sage. All of them laying their hands on her near the end of it perhaps stuck with her the most. Her grandmother reassured her that this was for her own protection.

"It's for protection when you are older. That's when the bad things can try to get in if you are not focused."

When it was over they all exchanged something, but she couldn't really make out the objects. She thought they looked almost like old pieces of paper, but she couldn't be sure. After the meeting had ended and everyone had gone, Grammy was putting out the lanterns. She had noticed her granddaughter studying her.

"What are the lights...are you a witch?"

Her grandmother sat down in front of her, and took her hands into her own.

"You wouldn't understand yet sweetheart, but I will tell you this," her grandmother said, sensing Rachel's disappointment at not being let in. "Listen to me Rachel, the lights can be different things... they can be a prelude to something. That means something leading up to something else, or they can be a warning to us. Someday you will understand better child, but not tonight...tonight we will bake! Now come, let's go back up to the real world."

She took her granddaughter's hand, and started to go back upstairs with her when the eccentric woman stopped.

"Now you do remember that this is our secret right? Your parents, especially your father would not understand...so pinky promise," she said. She was holding out her right hand with the pinky finger: that showed only a few beginning signs of aging on it, extended.

Rachel grinned, and looped her own right pinky—swearing it was theirs, and theirs alone. She would break that promise many years later to a man who meant more to her than anyone ever had, even her grandmother.

Now:

After she had told him the story, something strange came over him that he couldn't explain. It completely overpowered Derek, and the words he was about to say to her were not entirely his own.

"Rachel this is all too much to swallow at once...you just keep adding more and more to the story...how much more is there?" he yelled desperately. "I mean seriously, how am I supposed to process all of this...how do you expect me to believe that you come from some chain of...of...what? It all gets crazier with every story! I'm fucking done with this, I don't want to hear anymore!"

Rachel just stared at him.

Oh my God where is this coming from? He thought, but couldn't stop it.

"You're right Derek, I don't know why I ever thought that you would be able to handle all this, or why I would think that you could deal with it all so soon. No one else in my life could even let me begin to tell them, much less get this far. Hell, I can't even handle it, and I am the one living it."

She picked up her car keys and turned to him.

"Forget about everything I just told you...just pretend I never opened up like this to you...okay? I should have never thought that anyone in this world could understand it all, not even you my love."

He was in some kind of strange trance that he had absolutely no control of right now. He didn't hear anything she said to him just before she left, nor did it register with him that she had picked up her keys and walked out the door. It wasn't until he heard her car crank in the driveway, that he finally pulled himself out of whatever hypnotic state he had unwillingly been sucked into.

"What the hell did I just do...what the fuck was that!?" He was pulling on his pants as he ran for the front door.

She was already down the driveway and onto the road. He grabbed his own keys off the foyer table and raced to his car. By the time he got to the end of the drive and turned the way she had went, she was nowhere in sight. He broke the speed limit for at least three miles before finally realizing he had no idea which direction she could have went. He decided to turn around—go back to the house, and wait for her.

Derek started calling her cell, but when he came back in the front door of the house he saw why she wasn't answering—it was sitting on the kitchen counter where she had left it earlier. His mind raced.

She probably wouldn't have answered it if she'd had it with her anyway after all that crazy shit you just said to her! Where the hell did that come from?

"Fuck!" he screamed at himself.

All he could do was wait. The thought occurred to him that she may be going to her old place, but he had no idea where it was, other than the town it was in. Then he thought of Jan.

She would know, God I don't want to get her involved...plus she's on her honeymoon, but I have to find Rachel and explain.

His thoughts were racing as he tried both Jan and Ken's cells, but had no luck with either of them. All he could do was wait and pray that he hadn't done some kind of irreparable damage to their relationship. Right now he wanted her in his arms more than he wanted to breathe, and he found himself breathing now in short shallow breaths.

I think I'm having a fucking panic attack...dammit what the hell is wrong with me? He thought as he started to bead on his forehead.

His heart was beating out of his chest and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get it to slow down. With his back against the wall he slid down into a sitting position. Just as he started to feel like he was losing consciousness, he saw what he thought he had seen earlier in the night when Rachel woke him screaming from her nightmare. It was the light.

It was about one to two feet in height and about eight inches wide. He saw it first on the ceiling, and then it swooped down at him the way chimney sweeps and bats swoop down at rooftops at dusk. It seemed as if it was dancing around him, but he couldn't quite process what it was in his half-conscious state. It stopped right in front of him. Suddenly, something that Derek thought looked like a small hand—reached out and touched the place on his chest where his pounding heart was racing uncontrollably. All at once the muscle relaxed and slowed to its normal rhythm inside Derek's broad chest. His breaths returned to normal. He was afraid at first, but then an extreme feeling of calm came over him as the hand-like shape touched his forehead. There was something in this light that was familiar to him, but he couldn't begin to understand why.

He heard a high pitched hum inside his head that instantly tuned down to a level his ears could hear, and then a small voice whispered.

"You both will understand everything soon."

Derek was lost in some imaginary world that seemed light years away. He was being shown things that made no sense to his mind. There were lights and shapes in beautiful places his eyes had never seen. A euphoric feeling overwhelmed him—then he heard a scream.

It was Rachel, she was standing in the doorway of their house.

The light instantly darted over to where she stood in the foyer. It swirled around her in a manner that reminded Derek of the way a dog encircles their owner with excitement...it was a childlike exhilaration.

After circling her several times it shot back up to that far off place from which it came. It vanished back into the ceiling leaving behind little sparkles of light that dissipated after a few seconds. Before it did, Derek could have sworn that he heard it emit a distorted laugh.

She ran over to where he was sitting with his back against the wall—knelt down, and shook him back from wherever he had gone.

"Are you alright? Derek answer me sweetie, are you okay?" She was teetering on the edge of hysteria now. "Derek why are you sitting on the floor...what was that light it—"

"Just let me hold you," he interrupted, pulling her to him.

She did what he asked.

"Rachel I'm so sorry...I have no idea why I said those things to you...it was like something took over inside me. I didn't want to say any of that to you...it wasn't even what I was thinking."

She put her fingers to his lips.

"Derek it's okay, I have been putting way too much on you, but I can't seem to help myself. It's as if now that it has started to surface...it all wants to come out at once," she laughed a nervous laugh and started to speak again.

"I just needed some air...I felt like I couldn't breathe, but Derek...that's all beside the point. What was that, and what was it doing to you when I walked in?"

He looked around the room as if he expected the light shape to make an encore presentation.

"Rachel, I didn't mean any of it. That wasn't me saying those things to you...please tell me you believe me."

"Derek at this point I can believe almost anything, especially coming from you. What in God's name was that... that light thing?"

He stood up and walked over to the counter in the kitchen, and looked up toward the ceiling.

"I don't know Rachel...it somehow...came out of the ceiling. It was like it had been traveling a long way at a high speed. It was bright, it was so bright...and warm. It touched me here first."

The fingers of his left hand were resting on his heart.

"I think it knew that my heart was beating too fast... dangerously fast. I was sweating, and I felt like I was about to plant face first into the floor, so I slid down the wall to keep from falling. I think I was having a panic attack because I was so scared that you wouldn't be coming back. I didn't know how to find you or where to even look. I called Ken and Jan's cells, but neither answered. I was going crazy Rachel...don't ever do that to me again. All I could think about was losing you just like I lost Claire."

With the exception of the countless times Derek Williamson had cried in the weeks following his wife's death: he wasn't a man to be brought to uncontrollable fits of crying, but in the aftermath of whatever this had all been—he cried.

After trying to come up with logical explanations for what they had both witnessed and realizing there was only one conclusion, they sat in each other's arms in utter silence for about five minutes before Rachel broke it.

"There is something going on here. I think that I may have brought something into our world unknowingly...and somehow now it's affecting you. I mean...I don't know how, or why. I wasn't going to say anything before because I thought maybe I had imagined it."

She paused to try to collect her thoughts on what she wanted to say—she did not want to freak him out even more than he clearly already was.

"Okay here goes...I sensed something a few nights ago in your truck, but it was nothing like this. Derek do you need to go to the hospital? I'm more concerned with whatever you just experienced with your heart...when was the last time you had a check-up?"

She knew she was getting off-track from what she had wanted to say, but she couldn't help but be concerned about the episode he described, and his well-being.

He brushed her hair back from her eyes so he could see them before he answered.

"Baby I'm fine...never better now. Besides, I had a complete physical done a couple months after Claire died. Doc said my heart was in perfect condition. Whatever that was...it wasn't bad. I could feel that it was warm, and whole...it was pure...I could feel the goodness in it. When it touched me I saw light, and in that light I saw us. I also saw other things...beautiful places, and people I don't know, but somehow they were familiar."

She believed everything he was telling her because she had seen those lights before long ago in a place that she was about to take him to in just a few short days. Hopefully between her old place and her grandmother's stuff they would find the answers to so many questions.

"Come on," she told him reaching out to take his hands.

"It's five in the morning and thank goodness you don't have to be to work until noon. Let's try to get a few hours of shut eye before the sun comes up."

Derek pointed past her out the kitchen window.

"It's raining, my dear. Hopefully the sun won't come out today and we can actually get more than a few hours in."

Derek woke with forty minutes to shower and make the twenty-five mile drive to his office. He was fifteen minutes late due to the usual afternoon lunch time traffic.

The rain coupled with the fact that he had gotten five hours sleep seemed to invite every pet emergency through his doors that day. He hated how bad weather always seemed to escalate everything. His day was a non-stop battery of sick and wounded animals.

That evening when he arrived home at around seven thirty, he was welcomed by dinner, followed by a hot bath. Rachel put him into bed like a tired child—by 9PM he was sleeping like a baby.

While he slept, his true love—who had been fortunate enough to sleep half of her day away—sat down at her computer, and started her next book. She figured it would probably be her best-seller to date, and it would be like no other book she had ever written. By midnight she was well into the fifth chapter and as she finished up for the night she saved her work in a file titled The Best Man. Rachel smiled at the words and looked up toward the ceiling in the direction of her sleeping man.

"Whatever it is that we have to face we will face it together...always," she whispered in the dim lit room.

She walked up to the bedroom and climbed in beside the man who had given her so much in the short while she had known him. Rachel had no idea yet just how much Derek had actually given her.

Friday came just as fast as Rachel had known it would, and after a half day at work Derek was packing up his truck in the driveway by noon. He seemed almost excited by all of it.

Rachel wished that she could share in his enthusiasm, but the fact was—part of her dreaded this whole weekend and if it had been an option she would have opted to postpone it. In light of the recent events though, she knew that the time had come to face it all—no matter how scary it was for her. As she was making all the last minute checks around the house: Derek's phone rang. It was Jan calling from her honeymoon, and Rachel knew what for: to find out what the hell Derek was calling for two nights ago.

It's a good thing I wasn't dying with as long as it took her to get back in touch, Rachel thought as she picked up the phone.

Once again Rachel found herself keeping the truth from Jan, but knew for sure that fabricating it was the best thing to do now. She made up a bogus argument she and Derek had over him moving in—she knew Jan could relate to that. More importantly, Rachel knew she would believe it.

After spending twenty minutes listening to Jan console her, Rachel was finally able to make her polite exit from the conversation. She told Jan that she was trying to pack for a trip that she and Derek were taking to the mountains. It was another lie, but one told with good reason. She had neither the time nor the patience to explain to Jan where they were going and why. As she hung up his phone, she turned to see him standing in the doorway watching her.

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked him, a little uneasy with the thought that he had heard her lying so well to Jan.

"Long enough to know that you don't trust Jan very much with telling her the truth," Derek said. "Then again I don't think I could tell anyone the truth about the other night either, so I'll give you a pass on that one."

"I think we both know that it's not as much of a matter of trusting her as it is knowing she wouldn't want to hear any of it Derek...you ready?"

She moved nervously as she crossed the room toward Derek. She reached up and gave him a quick peck on his cheek hoping to appease his concerns, but when he reached out and took her by the arm she knew it didn't.

"I'm just nervous about everything Derek that's all...I just don't want all of this to end up being something you regret. I don't want to end up being someone you regret."

"That will never happen, so don't let your mind take you there Rachel. I am in this...okay? We are in this together."

Relief was creeping up in her now and she was grateful for it and for him. She put her arms around him.

"Ready set go?" she asked

"Ready set go," Derek replied and then he hugged her tightly—almost as if he were saying goodbye to her in a way.

# CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Two hours later they were standing in the middle of the huge foyer that Rachel had ridden her tricycle through as a toddler, and skated in as teen. Derek couldn't help but admire the old-world craftsmanship of the place—the crown molding alone would cost thousands in today's market.

"Well, I have to say your groundskeeper and his wife have earned their paychecks, this place is immaculate. It's been kept up better than most houses that are actually lived in by people."

Rachel sat down her bags and walked into the formal living room. It had been stocked with firewood by the fireplace and blankets on the couches. Mr. and Mrs. Anders had taken care of everything, right down to stocking the fridge with a supply of food to eat through the weekend.

If we make it through the weekend, Rachel thought to herself as she looked in the cupboards to find them stocked as well.

A smile crossed her face when she spotted the pack of chocolate sandwich cookies placed neatly on the middle shelf. She remembered a cheerful debate she had once with Mr. Anders concerning favorite cookies. The thought that he had remembered such a silly thing made Rachel feel like perhaps more people in her life paid attention to the little things that made her who she was after all.

"Well, what do you want to see first?" she asked Derek as he brought in their queen-sized, top-of-the-line air mattress. There were beds in the place, but Rachel had no intentions of sleeping in them.

He looked at the box and then at her.

"How about I inflate this first, and then I would like to see you lying on it...wearing nothing but a smile."

He wanted to ease her tension and knew as well as anyone that sex talk usually did just that. It did the trick. He could see her relax as she tossed a pillow in his direction.

"Keep it in your pants...at least for now," she said, smiling at him.

Rachel gave Derek the grand tour of the place, which took about twenty minutes. The only place they didn't venture into that first day was the attic. They decided they would save that for the next day. While eating dinner out on the large screened in back porch, Derek asked Rachel if she had ever felt threatened while she was at the house, or if what she had experienced in it had ever been negative.

She had only felt uneasy as a child, when the see-through lady came to visit her, but wasn't afraid.

"No, not in the way you would think...it's hard to explain, but I only felt uneasy once, maybe twice. It wasn't because I felt like I was in danger. I used to have long periods of time when there was nothing. Life was normal...as normal as it could be in my family, that is. It was as if a powerful entity of some kind was trying to tell me something, or maybe even warn me of something. That's when it would start, but I usually willed it away. That was something my grandmother taught me to do a long time ago. I think I told you that already though...how she taught me to control what I have. She taught me well evidently, because like I said before it's never really affected my everyday life until now. You know...the things that have been happening lately. Derek it's the only reason I'm here...you know that already I know. I need to find some answers because of what's been happening lately, especially after what happened the other night. I would have probably changed my mind had that not happened, and I honestly think something out there knows that...whatever it is."

She was studying his face trying to see if she could detect any doubt, and she couldn't.

"Derek I've told you many things...more than I've ever told anyone even my own family...when they were alive, that is. You may not believe what I'm about to say to you, and I want you to know that's alright, but you need to hear about it before we go into that attic tomorrow."

She had gotten up and moved over to the wicker, cushioned sofa that sat across from the small bistro set they had been dining at. She looked out across the large back yard.

"She used to take me out into those woods you know...my grandmother I mean. She would take me there to our special place. It's where she told me what I was and how she was going to help me with it."

Rachel never understood why her grandmother named it their mystic, she always wondered why Grammy had picked that word. She took a deep breath and began.

"I'm about to tell you everything that I can remember right now. I hope you can understand...not so sure I can understand myself that is. I've already told you most of it, but I feel like I have to share things with you in cycles almost...because I'm afraid of laying it all out there at once."

She took a long slow sip from her wine glass, and continued.

"I'm what my grandmother called a mystic, but I guess most people use the term sensitive. Grammy told me that we are drawn to unexplainable things that others are not. As you already know, I can feel things sometimes. My father could too. I don't think I was the same level of a mystic as my father though. My grandmother told me once after his death that his mystic drove him to take his own life. He was able to deal with it before he went to Vietnam, she told me, and then added, but after he came back he was different. I remember her also saying it was like he had brought too many negatives back with him. I think she meant spirits, but I'm not sure, maybe she just meant stuff. The thing is, I never asked and now I wish I would have...because I think it would explain so much."

Rachel paused for a minute, took a deep breath and continued.

"Anyway...I guess it was all too much for him to bear after he came home. The voices drove him mad because they would never let up on him. My grandmother said that my father couldn't control his mystic, and because of that unseen forces took advantage of him to the point of driving him mad. Sometimes mental illness is much more, at least it was for my father."

Rachel paused because she could see Derek had questions. He acknowledged the chance she had given him.

"Why has it not affected you that way?" His voice was a little shaky, and it made her wonder if he feared what else she was going to tell him.

"I'm not the same kind of mystic my father was," she answered. "I think it's because my grandmother taught me something she either couldn't, or wouldn't teach him. She taught me to control mine through focusing, and also through meditation and chanting. I know that sounds funny, but it has always worked. I think it's the reason that I'm not a more powerful mystic, thank God."

She laughed a little bit before continuing.

"Until recently, I had only been drawn to whatever it is when I come back here. I've always said it's my haunted place. What I mean is the house itself isn't necessarily haunted in the true sense, but I am when I'm here. Does that make sense?" Rachel asked this in a voice she could barely control.

Derek noticed that worry had laid that same claim to her beautiful face. These days, he had no idea what was real at times. He hesitated to answer her question as he soaked it all in.

"Are you believing any of this right now?" Rachel asked almost laughing. As she saw it, she had done enough crying over the whole fucked up mess of it.

Derek instantly sensed her feelings of bewilderment and anger, so he thought carefully before he answered.

"Rachel, you know better than anything right now that I love you. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that: you are a whole person, who is more than mentally sound. Now obviously, I don't know everything about you...even now. However, I know the stuff that matters. If you are telling me this then I'm going to believe it to be true. You've never gave me a reason to doubt your words baby."

She would never tire of him calling her that, it always sounded so sensual coming from his mouth. A mouth she wanted to kiss almost more than anything right now, but not more than she wanted to finish her story. So she put her thoughts of that aside for the time being.

"Thank you for saying that, but more than anything thank you for meaning it."

She seemed lost for a minute, but then she was back. "Sometimes it feels like there's a thousand voices trying to talk to me at once. Then I can hear them, but only faintly. I think the only reason I can hear it at all is because whatever it is becomes so intensified that I can't shut out the sound."

She sounded unsure of that last statement, and stopped for a minute as if she needed to gather her thoughts.

After crossing the room, she sat down beside Derek, and picked up his hand to hold it. He wasn't sure if it was to comfort him, or herself right now.

"It's almost like the sound the ocean makes, only with soft whispers on the edges. The voices...if that's what they are...they're actually never really clear. They're usually distorted, I mean. I almost always have to leave this place because it gives me excruciating headaches from trying so hard to hear what the noises are saying, or whatever. I think the longest I've ever stayed here since I left years ago was maybe for a half of a day, but I think it's different now with you here."

Rachel took another break from talking and picked up her glass of wine, sipping from it slowly. She also wanted to take this opportunity to study the face of the man she had grown to trust with her darkest secrets.

"Why do you come back here at all?" Derek asked, puzzled.

She gave careful thought on how she wanted to answer his question, and contemplated not answering it at all. Then she reminded herself that this was Derek asking—her soul mate.

"Because of her I think."

She paused for another drink.

"I think it's my grandmother that pulls me back here. I think that she has been trying to tell me something for a long time, but she died before she could. She was sick for a while, but not terminal...and that's not how she died. She died rather unexpectedly on her way to my wedding to Mike...well if you could call it a wedding. It was just a few family and friends gathered at a local garden. I had not spoken to my grandmother in several years...she wasn't fond of Mike, but I was a young, stupid girl under the spell of a bad man. She told me more than once that he was not the one for me...that he was not my true mate, and she could prove it to me."

Rachel paused one last time to finish her drink.

"I still remember her words. Rachel my dear, I have kept too much of your true calling from you...but I did it because I thought I was protecting you from things beyond your control...I was wrong. I took the wrong path and now I'm going to pay for it. I can see it coming. If you will let me, I will show you what you need to know...what you must know. But I didn't let her, I told her to stay out of my life. Why would I do that Derek? I loved her...what in the name of all that is holy would have made me say that to her?"

Rachel was crying now and all Derek wanted to do was hold her, but something stopped him from doing it. He wasn't sure what, but he thought it was his need to hear all of this.

She didn't let him down.

"I hung up on her, and she tried for days to call, she even tried to visit me, but I eventually changed my number, moved in with Mike and cut all ties to her until the wedding. I had no one...not even Jan coming. I mean, I had a few co-workers but that was it. Mike had his parents, grandparents, and at least twenty other family members. So I sent Grammy an invitation with only the details of when and where. The day of the wedding I received a call later that evening from the highway patrol. She had been involved in a fatal, single car accident just ten miles from the wedding site. I will never forgive myself for treating her the way I did the last few months of her life. She had been there for me through all of my crazy, unexplainable childhood...she helped me, she protected me, and how did I repay her? I abandoned her for that evil son-of-a-bitch! Derek I was awful...I was an awful granddaughter to her when all she wanted was to protect me."

"Rachel, I'm sure she understood in her own way...why you did what you did. I'm sure she sees now how happy you are and—"

"Derek, like I said, I think it's her, I think that it has been her trying to make me see somehow, or even make me know something that she was trying to tell me. I believe she was coming there that day to try and talk some sense into me, but something stopped her."

Derek looked at her and saw that this could go on well into the night, and the truth was he was exhausted.

"Listen baby, let's try and get some sleep, and see what tomorrow brings. We can start early...go up into that attic, and see what's up there. You said that your grandmother's things were stored up there after her death right?"

"Yes, but as I told you before there is a lot of stuff up there. It's also been mixed in with my parents' stuff. Most of my grandmother's large furnishings were auctioned off in her estate sale, but the rest went to me. I've been the beneficiary too many times in my life."

They both laughed a little, and then the two of them retired to the living room off of the kitchen where they had set up camp.

They were both sleeping surprisingly well until Rachel caught a glimpse of another bright light. Although part of her knew that waking Derek would have been the smartest thing she could do, she was entranced by it and half-asleep, so she didn't. The light guided her to her old bedroom upstairs and Rachel followed it. She sat down on the edge of her childhood bed. A familiar voice spoke to her, but Rachel was dazed...so she couldn't determine who it was. She tried in her dreamlike state to understand, but could not. Suddenly the light disappeared, as quickly as it had come to her. In her half-awake state she stumbled back down the stairs to the air mattress in the room where Derek slept peacefully. She had no memory of the episode the next morning.

That morning was one of the coldest on record for the month of November in the past twenty years. The fire that Derek had built in the old fireplace heated up the room, but the rest of the house was an icebox. Derek went down into the basement to light the pilot on the furnace while Rachel cooked breakfast.

As she turned to take a pot down from the old pot hanger by the stove, she saw her. She didn't have to wonder for a second who she was. It was her grandmother. She wasn't exactly standing as much as she was floating.

Rachel opened her mouth to yell for Derek, but stopped as quickly as she had started when she saw the old woman press a long, gray finger to her equally gray lips.

The apparition that had been no more than ten feet away from her suddenly was now no more than ten inches from Rachel's face. The thing that looked like her grandmother now began to speak like her grandmother.

"Everything you need to help you is up there."

It both looked and pointed toward the ceiling where the attic lay beyond it. Then it looked back into Rachel's paralyzed face.

"All of these years I have been trying...every time you came, but it took him to wake you up out of your sleep. Now you are ready child...now you are completely open. That's what finding him did...it woke you up!"

The grandma thing pointed again in the direction of the attic as Rachel followed with her eyes. Rachel was about to ask the ghost where exactly she should look, but it cut her off and answered, as if it could read her thoughts.

"There is a safe up there...a small one. When you find it enter these numbers 12-31-24. Everything is in the journal...it is the only one with a red jacket...I have kept it hidden well. You must find it, you cannot deny it any longer!"

There was a pause, and the voice of her grandmother's ghost softened.

"You have found your other, and now you must find your truth. I could tell you this truth now, but I don't want him to see me and panic. You should read your truths for yourselves. I should have never hid them from you my dear sweet child...perhaps none of your pain would have happened if I hadn't kept so much from you. Maybe you would have found him sooner, and then you would've been complete a long time ago. I was coming to tell—"

"Rachel!" Derek shouted, standing in the doorway of the kitchen and hall.

He dropped the small tool bag, and stood staring at something that his eyes interpreted as a white mass in the shape of a woman hovering just a few inches from Rachel: who was standing in a trance—looking at the thing.

She didn't move when he yelled her name—not even a flinch. As quickly as he had yelled her name, the thing in front of Rachel turned, and rushed past him with the velocity of a jet fighter, and the tailwind that followed: nearly knocked Derek off of his feet. He struggled to regain balance, and once he did—he was in front of Rachel shaking her back to reality.

"Rachel!" He had said her name five times before her eyes actually focused on his. "Rachel...what the hell was that?"

"You...I...you...saw...it?" He noticed her words were coming out in gasps as if she had just run a 5k in record time.

"Yes...baby, yes I saw it...I saw it. I know that I did, but what I don't know, is what it was that I was seeing. Rachel do you know...do you have any idea what that thing was baby?"

Tears were streaming her cheeks, but she was not crying—at least not in the true sense.

"My grandmother...that was her."

She sounded small and fragile, and it made him want nothing more than to hold her, so he did. Derek scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the room where they had set up camp. He sat down with her on an old oversized sofa that occupied the far wall. He was stroking her hair as he rocked her a little, while choosing his words carefully so to not upset her more.

"Okay...maybe we should just leave, and forget about all of this. Let's just go back Rachel...let's just put this behind us and—"

"And what...pretend that it's not real Derek...can you do that?" Rachel asked in a serious tone. "I can't...not anymore. I've pretended long enough that what I've always known to be true...isn't. Listen to me I am fine, it just caught me off my guard. She was only trying to help us...she meant me no harm. I have to tell you everything she said."

She did tell him everything the apparition had said. When she was done, she stood up and took his hand.

"Now, let's go eat our breakfast, and then we will go up to the attic. I know now what I'm looking for."

One thing Derek knew now for sure was that the woman he had met six months ago had changed. She was even stronger now than she was the day they had met.

# CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Other than being extremely cold, the attic itself was very well kept and nearly livable. It could have easily been a bedroom or study if not for the massive amount of crates and boxes.

"I'll say it again, the Anders really do earn their paychecks,"

Derek said, as he wiped a finger across a wooden beam that appeared to have been recently cleaned. He turned on the small space heater he had purchased for this very reason.

"Well, I've often wrestled with the idea of turning this place into a bed and breakfast and having them run it for me. I pitched the idea to them a couple years ago and they seemed to be open to it...but I guess I just wanted to clear the place first."

Rachel laughed a little at the thought of cleansing the place as if it were actually haunted, because she knew it was far from that.

"That's actually a great idea Rach," Derek replied still carefully inspecting the room. "But, you wouldn't want a haunted bed and breakfast, so yeah...maybe not." He winked at her as he said it, because he knew all too well just how popular those were in the south. Plus he remembered what she had said yesterday about it not really being haunted as much as she was when she was in it.

"Let's get on with this," Rachel said. "My grandmother told me what we are looking for is in a safe...12-31-24 was the combination."

"How could you even remember that during something so scary?" Derek asked, surprised.

"Those were days in the birthdates for my father, mother, and brother, respectively. I guess she figured it would be easy for me to remember."

They both looked around the room.

"Don't see a safe...not at first glance," Derek said.

"Guess we better get to moving some boxes," Rachel replied.

They started with a large wall of boxes stacked to the ceiling. While they were moving, they decided to discuss every unexplainable event that had ever happened in their lives. Derek's list was short, but Rachel's was not. After they moved the first row of boxes, they didn't see a safe sitting behind them. They started on the next stack.

"It's going to take a while for me to grasp all of this Rachel, so bear with me."

Derek was stretching for a box that was almost out of reach as he said it, so his voice was strained. It reminded Rachel of her brother Josh, and the way he always insisted on holding conversations through the walls while he was on the toilet. She giggled at the memory, and Derek turned around with a look that was a mixture of confusion and curiosity—it made her laugh louder, mostly from nervousness.

"What?" he asked a little annoyed at the thought that she wasn't taking him seriously.

"Nothing," she answered, "I was just checking out your ass."

She lied to save face, and to avoid annoying him any further because she could tell his stress level was a little high as well.

"Go on," she coaxed.

"As I was saying, I'm a bit of a realist so all of this is hard to take in. But you...you seem so open to the idea of it all. Why have you pushed it away for so long?"

She looked at him for a long minute before she answered him, and did so because she had to think about it.

"Somehow I know and I think I always have known that this thing, is not just a simple ghost story or haunting of some kind. There are no ghosts in my family closet...it's not that easy, and I just know it. I could only hope to uncover a coven of witches or warlocks, but that's not going to be the case at all Derek...I can feel it. I've always felt it. It's why I've kept it out...and willed it away. Acknowledging it to myself has brought me a little bit of calm somehow. It's hard to explain. "

What she wasn't saying to him was this: it was only since the two of them had met that her will to control whatever it was, had grown considerably weaker. Now, the presence that had been dwelling somewhere inside of her was almost fully awake, and there was no stopping it now.

Derek peeked over the top layer of boxes he had just removed.

"I think I can see it on the floor in this corner," he said. They cleared a path to get to it.

"This has got to be it," she said as they pulled it across the floor into the light.

"This is my grandmother's trunk...the safe has to be in here."

"Couldn't she have just left it out...why did she have to hide it if everyone but you is gone? Derek asked a little annoyed. It wasn't his nature to be so easily annoyed, but this place did something to him—he couldn't name it, but he knew it was true.

"I don't know the answer to that Derek, but I remember her ghost said she had to hide it. I don't know from what."

Rachel's anticipation was thoroughly mixed with fear. She slowly put in the combination and pulled. The door didn't budge.

"Let me try," Derek offered. It took all of his strength and flipping the safe on its back to get more leverage, but he finally opened it.

"She said it would be the only journal with a red Jacket."

After pulling out all of the various books, small boxes, and journals from the safe, they found it at the bottom of the stack. As she opened the first page—she jumped up, catching Derek off guard, which startled him more than a little.

"What the hell Rachel!"

"Sorry!" she snapped back, as she went over to one far corners of the attic where there was better light. She glanced over at him, and couldn't help but notice how utterly nervous he appeared to be now.

"God Derek you look like someone awaiting a verdict in a murder trial...it'll be alright I'm sure now."

No you aren't why are you telling him that?

He seemingly read her thoughts, and nodded slightly as if giving her the go ahead. He walked over, and sat down next to her. She opened the book slowly, and began to read.

# CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Journal for Rachel:

April 5, 1994

My dearest Rachel,

If you are reading this, and I pray someday you will, then you have found him...you have found your other. I was afraid that they would keep you from him somehow...it has happened before, but not often. I'm getting way ahead of myself...I'm sorry, it is not my intention to scare you. I never was one for beating-around-the-bush.

Now let me start from the beginning. You have always known you are different from other people just like your father was...just as I was. Despite what I made you believe you never were "merely gifted". You are not someone who communicates with spirits...you are so much more than that. You are a mystic just as I told you when you were young.

Rachel, what you have is not called a mystic as I taught you when you were a girl...you are a mystic. I know you have many questions running through your pretty head and if your other is there with you so does he. I wish more than anything that I was there with you to answer all of them, but I will do my best and I will also give the names of some people who may be able to shed some more light on all of this.

I am sorry that I have to tell you this way. I had hoped to live much longer so I could help you as you came into your heritage and learned of your bloodlines. However, I went against the orders and laws, so I believe my punishment is this horrible disease. I do not know if it will be my demise so I am writing this all down to be on the safe side. Our life spans are usually between one-hundred to one-hundred-and-ten years. My sweet girl, I know that we are not close right now, but I hope to survive this long enough to change that, and if I don't then you will have this to guide you. I had hoped that I could convince you not to marry that man, but when I tried to get you to leave him alone, I only made matters worse. If I do die before we speak again you must, no matter how much you don't want to, you must read all of this journal, and it is imperative that you do as I instruct you.

There are two boxes in the safe as well. These boxes should not be opened yet. I have separated the items for a reason which you will understand later. Here I go getting off track, I'm only in my eighties...my mind should be much sharper than it is, it must be the disease. This would be much easier to tell than to write, as my hands are shaky and weak now, but I will continue the best I can. I will say to you right now if I do not finish this journal the first person that you must find is Dana Rowen...that is her married name and will stay the same. If by some act of fate she is gone then her granddaughters' names are Rena and Audrey. Their maiden names are the same as their grandmother's. They are my first choices, and the next would be Henry Stanton or his daughter Lilly. Her married name should be Kershaw. Then follow the list in order...

The journal went on to list a dozen other names that Rachel read out loud one by one. She paused for a minute from reading to ask Derek if he was okay.

"I guess I am as well as can be expected right now...I mean I'll be better once you finish."

Once again he presumed to know the future, but was wrong in that presumption.

She took his hint and started to read again on the next page.

Now that I got that out of the way let me try again to start at the beginning.

Centuries, long ago, even before the time of the messiah. (Yes, God and Jesus are real and in their heaven.) Some of our ancestors traveled to this universe from one of their own. I know this is going to sound crazy and I know you aren't going to believe any of it in the beginning, but please Rachel do not stop! The more you uncover, the more you will see that everything I am telling you is true.

Rachel threw the book down.

"This is utterly ridiculous...this can't be the truth! Derek why would she say these crazy things?"

"Rachel...pick it back up and keep reading. You have to."

There it was again—that voice that seemed to not belong to him.

Rachel did just as he requested, as if he might be controlling her right now.

As the story was told in the scrolls, it was through a door...a portal of sorts that God himself had opened up for them. You see, when some have written that God made the heavens and the earth, they masked some of the intricate details about the fact that he made everything. There are some passages in some of the scriptures that if interpreted by the right scholars will speak of this fact. He made many other universes just as He did this one. He has children that span to infinity, and back. God is infinite and so are his creations. In all of His infinite wisdom he saved our ancestors long ago from a cruel death that was being given to them at the hands of an evil force.

Even though our ancestors were a much more advanced species than humans, they were still no match for those forces. The place from which our people came was called Mysterian Moriah, which is described in writings to have been a planet much like Earth, in both size and atmosphere. It was a dying planet...dying from extreme environmental effects—much the way Earth is doing, but Earth's death is slow. Mysterian's was rapid...once it began it took only two Earth years for Mysterian Moriah to turn to dust. The others saw this as an opportunity to move in and devour Mysterians.

Only a handful escaped in time, because so many did not believe in what a prophet by the name of Jule had foretold to them. You see, getting to that open door in time and space required transporting through an ancient sea cavern in a vast ocean that, from what was written, resembled a dark abyss of nothingness. Many of the ancients believed that Jule was an evil being, sent to their world from the blackness of space to lie to them and lead them to certain deaths. She was, in fact, a messenger that was sent to save the believers, and she did. The journey consisted of the ancients plunging into the deep dark waters of the sea of Vastine...a sea much like the Dead Sea. They had to swim under the thick dark waters through a cavernous tunnel and on the other side was the door.

Rachel paused for a moment because this made her remember a dream she had not so long ago about a tunnel and dark waters right before she met Derek.

Derek was having his own memories of a nightmarish dream he had the first night he had met Rachel—the memory of his dream sent a shiver through him like cold steel.

Rachel's memory had no effect on her—not then at least. She looked back at the letter and continued.

Some made the journey, others did not. As the story goes twenty-four ancients made it through the portal and into the icy waters of the Sea of Galilee. The Guardians awaited their arrival: they were the ones who had been told of this event from God himself. Guardians are angels who have been sent to live on Earth...believe it or not it is the truth. They are human but they are much more and they are still among us even now. The guardians loaded the ancients onto their fishing vessel and took them to a place that was safe somewhere in the mountains, a special place.

They befriended the ancients, they taught them the language of the people, which did not take long...the ancients were highly evolved, it is apparent in their writings. The guardians taught them labor skills as well as educated them to the ways of the world at that time. It was hard for the ancients because in order to belong they had to literally regress. The ancients, who had received their human vessels as soon as they entered the tunnel of the cavern, began their human lives from that moment on.

They worked hard, they became scholars, and they fell in love and married eventually. It was all part of the higher plan. You see, God doesn't want to see any of his creations destroy themselves and when he sees it beginning he puts a plan into motion. There is another piece of the story I forgot to mention, but I must retire from writing for the day.

Rachel stood up at this point and began to pace. She flipped the page over to the next Journal entry.

April 5, 1994

Some of the ancients went out into the world and took wives and husbands who were human. The offspring from these couplings were called mystics as well; however, they are not the most powerful ones like you. There was an order to things long ago though that kept the bloodlines from becoming weaker. The humans that the ancients coupled with were only of nobility...the rest of the ancients coupled with their guardians which bred powerful mystics. I know you must be asking—Angels breeding? Angels are celestial beings, not Gods. They are instruments of God the same way a demon is an instrument of the devil.

This was all a part of a higher plan to help not only Mysterians, but Earth humans as well. It was written that in those times some of the offspring of the powerful mystics went astray for reasons which we do not know still. They disobeyed the order and let themselves be seduced by demons in human forms. This ultimately resulted in things not of our world that roam the Earth every two hundred years, searching for powerful mystics so they can seduce them and procreate with. When these abominations are found they are destroyed by the guardians. This is a difficult task though. This still happens but it is rare. As I said, guardians are still here, as you will soon learn.

They are still in this world just as mystics are. When the evil one's cycle is upon us that is when you will find your guardian and that time is near...now that you have found your other. After many generations lineages were weakened in some parts of the world but not all, and it is believed that when certain celestial bodies align in the universe and all is at peace in God's heaven...true love finds its way, and this is when mystics are conceived. It happens much more often than you would think.

But it only happens when mystics have found their other mystic. Powerful Mystics are becoming rare, but not extinct. For two powerful mystics to come together as one takes an act of destiny on God's part. This is something he does, and he still does it quite often when the circumstances are right. The ancients did not procreate with one another after coming here because their offspring would not have been human-like, but Mysterian. God changed their vessels permanently, but he could not have changed that of their offspring...at least not until they were born and if his human children were to ever see one of his Mysterian children in their other worldly forms it could have been catastrophic. They could have all destroyed each other. Humans were not evolved enough to accept other life forms into their world then, and even now they still aren't.

Oh my child there's so much you do not know, and I am going to tell you as much as I can, and for what I can't tell you I will help you find those that can. What I'm about to tell you will make you want to stop reading this. PLEASE DON'T RACHEL! There's only one way to say this.

As Rachel flipped the page, she saw that her grandmother had scratched out a few of the initial drafts of the next paragraph. Evidently, that one way was hard to find.

The mother that you grew up with was not your birth mother, but my son (your father) was your biological father. He met your real mother, Lizbeth Ryan while he was serving in the army overseas. She was a nurse at the medical unit he was taken to when he was injured. They fell in love against both their wills because that's what mystics do when they find their true mate, when they find each other there's no stopping it...it is their fate. To make a very long story as short as I possibly can—your father was discharged after recovering, but he stayed on just for a few weeks, that would have been the time period that you were conceived.

Your father came home not knowing that your mother was with child and she never told him—not until she became ill just a month before you were to be born. Mystics are healthy and have long life spans, even ones that are not as powerful. Sometimes there are illnesses that are just too powerful for either to be immune to. Malaria is what took your mother's life...she contracted it before you were born, or at least that's when she became ill. She died when you were just ten days old. It was told to me that she used up all of her strength as well as her power to shield you from contracting the illness. Back then, the treatments were not what they are today. She would have probably been alright had she not been with child. She loved you more than her life, she even loved you more than she loved your father which means more than you could know right now.

Fortunately, she was able to contact your father through telegram. He told his wife, Caroline, about Lizbeth and of his infidelity and told her, while he loved her he was in love with another beyond his control. I had to intervene then Rachel and tell your parents about your father's lineage so they would understand what was happening to their lives was just not some dirty sorted affair...it was fate. You have to understand that I tried for years to convince your father of what he was and why he should not marry your stepmother Caroline in such haste. But he would not have any part of it. That's one of the secrets to this that I must make you understand, you have to be open to it, or you will never know the true extent of what you are, and your father was not open, not at all.

After I told them the entire truth, Caroline was so much more accepting for some reason than your father. I've never understood that to this day. Eventually they put the affair behind them as far as I know, and moved on for your best interest. After a few months of legal paperwork and red tape your father went to West Germany, where they had sent you to an orphanage or some type of children's hospital. He got you and brought you home. They told your brother that they had adopted you but he was so young himself—only two at the time—that he never remembered how you came to be so they never spoke of it again. So you see, your father didn't go off to war when you were a baby...he went off to war right after your brother was born."

"This is a cluster-fuck of craziness!" Rachel said as she stopped reading—taking in a long deep breath she looked at Derek. "This is insane...I mean how am...how are we supposed to believe any of this? It's so out of this world...literally!"

"You're right...it is craziness but somehow—"

"Derek, you tried to tell me to leave it alone...I should have listened."

"No, Rachel. I'm glad you didn't. We needed to know this and there is still so much more...but I think we need some air."

He was still being controlled himself by whatever it was that saw fit to do so, it was keeping him calm somehow, but its hold was weakening. He was trying to ease her tension and his as well right now.

"Come on Rachel, let's take a break...go for a walk, and get some fresh air...and try to sort this out, okay?"

He was holding out his hand and smiling at her to let her know they were still them, that they were still grounded on this earth. The hold on him was gone again as if he had willed it away. He just wanted to take away some of the shock and utter disbelief that he knew she was feeling, because he was feeling it too. He had been paying close attention to the words written by Rachel's grandmother and heard himself being referred to as her other mystic, but he had no idea what that meant—not yet at least.

They descended from the attic, Derek with Rachel's hand in his and the journal still in her other hand. She had no intention of not taking it along. As they walked, they found a clearing by some rocks on the riverbank where Rachel sat down and stared at the water for a minute before speaking.

"I always knew somehow that everything was a lie...I just didn't know how big of a lie it all was. Why did my grandmother put all of these lies in my head? Why did she make me believe I was something I am not? I'm not what I thought...not at all. And all that about my father? He didn't kill himself because of voices or his abilities...he killed himself to escape the pain of losing her. God, how did my mother love him still?"

She felt the need to correct herself.

"I guess I mean how did Caroline love him still?"

She was overcome by it all and she burst into tears, they lasted a long time while Derek sat there on the banks of the river and held his love—whatever she was. The one thing he knew now more than ever was she was his and he was hers and everything else didn't really matter. He couldn't have been more wrong.

"Derek," she said in a small voice that he didn't even recognize. "I mean clearly this is all so incredibly unbelievable, but somehow I am beginning to believe it...are you?"

Her eyes were staring up into his and he could see that they were begging him to say yes. He wanted to tell her yes to make her feel better, but he couldn't, that same unknown force was taking over his emotions once again.

"I don't think so...at least not yet Rachel, but I have a strong feeling that something is about to change that. It's scaring the hell out of me, because if all of this is true somehow...how do we take this back with us into our lives? I mean, nothing will ever be the same for us...everything will change. I'm a freaking veterinarian! I can't be some other worldly being...Hello my name is Dr. Ancient alien! For Christ's sake, how can I ever go back to my life if any of this is true...I mean...I...I..."

Whatever calm had overtaken him earlier had lost its grip, and something else took control now, he was now in a full state of panic.

"Derek!" Rachel almost yelled at him, she knew she had to take the reins right now and fast. "Honey, listen...listen to me. It's all going to be okay...I promise you...see," she said pointing to the sky and smiling at him. Some internal switch had been turned on in her instantly, and she found strength and courage she didn't know she possessed.

"I have to keep this promise, it's daylight."

She turned his face to her and kissed him.

"We will figure all of this madness out together...no matter what, this is still you and me. Do you hear me Derek...just like you said, you and me. We still have each other no matter what."

He was looking like a man who had just been pulled back from the edge of a cliff he didn't want to be on.

"I pray you're right baby...I'm sorry I didn't mean to fall—"

"Shhh! Stop...you don't need to."

A part of her wanted to fall apart right now too, but some force within her had tuned itself up high and she felt a resolve she had never known.

"I think it's time to read the rest of this journal now."

She sat down on the rocks again: pulling him down beside her, and started to read the final pages of her grandmother's writings.

Your stepmother loved you as if you had come out of her womb, child...and don't you ever forget that. Your father was a different story. He loved you, but he resented you, because to him you had taken away the other part of his soul. The years of living with all of the guilt and pain of losing your mother, and of not being able to love you, your brother, and especially your stepmother the way you all deserved to be loved ate away at his soul. Believe me when I tell you this was not God's will. Other forces were at work on your father. I think those dark forces preyed on him in the end and drove him to do what he did. I tried to protect him, I really did, but he would not let me...you have to be open, just like I said, to all of this...to every part of it. Your father refused to be, and he wouldn't give...not in the least. All he could see was negativity and doom his entire life.

His death was what drove me to take the measures I did to keep you from knowing too much. I swear to you Rachel I did it out of love, I was going to tell you if you ever found your other, but that never happened...at least not until now, and so that's why I wrote all of this down, just in case. I know now that I should have never took it upon myself...I am just a Guardian, and I never had that authority. I lost my place and by that I lost my grace that God had given me. He trusted me to guide you, they all did, and I defied them—now I am going to die long before my time, I can feel it. It won't be from this illness, but it will be done. It is my punishment I guess, and I accept it. It's not God punishing me though it's the darkness I let seduce me into going against my Lord.

So please don't be misled by my words, our God does not do harm to us even when we let evil influence us. Yes, I am a guardian, but I fell from grace by taking matters into my own hands, and going against the order of things. Even if it was done out of pure love it was selfish and that was wrong. Sometimes, whether knowingly or not, we open ourselves up for our own demise. You've not had an easy life, my child, and I am ashamed that I could not change that for you, but you have no idea just how wonderful your life can be now that you have found the one that you were meant to be with for eternity.

One thing I want to make you understand. You have never been haunted or cursed as you have believed. The woman you saw in your room as a child is the same woman that has always watched over you in times of trouble. She is your mother, Lizbeth. She is not a ghost...not in the human sense. She is your protector she always will be. She is the voices you have struggled to hear for so long, Every time you have seen her, or felt her in your life I'm sure something either bad or good followed. She was either trying to warn you, or make you see something. But because I helped you build up such a resistance you were never open enough to hear or see her in her entirety. I ended up hurting you more than helping you my dear, sweet girl and for that I am so very sorry. She will protect you always, but Rachel you have to open yourself up completely. This will take time for you both.

Even though I met him once long ago I do not know what you other is like now as a man, I don't know if he is more open, or worse, more closed off than you have been. The truth is that sadly some mystics can go their entire life spans and not truly know what they are. Sometimes things happen and that's just how it is. I hope that your other is an open one, but if not there are ways to remedy that, and those are the things you will learn from the people whose names I gave you. Some of them are guardians and some of them are powerful mystics, but they are all there to help you...all you have to do is ask.

On the inside of the back cover of this you will find the last known addresses for all of them. Go to them, my dear girl...you and your other. They can help now that I cannot. There is an item in the box marked with the number two on the bottom that you must take along to prove to them what you are. Your other will have the same item somewhere in his lifetime, I just pray someone kept it safe for him if he was unaware of his lineage. If that is not the case, he can prove his lineage, as well as how powerful of a mystic he is through a ritual that any of these people named can perform. I will end this now as I am growing weak.

I will tell you one last thing. You are meant for something great I know this...and don't you forget it. You know Rachel...you always have known. You just have to let the other part of you wake up now.

I promise you that all of this true. I wrote this promise in the light of day...hopefully that will boost your confidence.

# CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Derek stood up walked toward the river and then turned back toward Rachel. He realized now he had spoken too soon before about not meaning to fall apart. That was before he knew that now, he himself was included in this craziness. He spoke in a voice that she almost did not recognize. It wasn't the calm, somber voice from before that urged her to read the journal. It was a voice of panic and unwelcome realization.

"How do we process this...how do I process this?! If I believe any of this then it means my whole entire life has been nothing but a complete facade. No one in my entire family ever had any inkling of...of...this whatever."

Before he continued something came to his mind from long ago—it was the unexplainable things his father had said to him on his death bed. Something pushed it back out of his mind, as he started to speak again.

"Oh my God...this is just too much to swallow. Six months ago I was golfing and going to work and...now I'm a descendant of fucking aliens! I mean this is the truth...this is your truth that I have to believe? I have alien bloodlines...oh and my fiancée does as well, and her grandmother was an angel! This is all fucking loony bin shit, Rachel!"

Rachel sat quietly and let him do what he needed to do at the time. The reason she did so was because she had been fortunate enough to have some kind of prelude to all of this. Even though her entire life had been a lie, she had been opened up just a little to the realm of the unknown. Derek, on the other hand, had never had any preparation at all for any of this bizarreness that was now their life story. So as far as she was concerned, he could go off on this tangent as long as he needed to. She knew it wasn't really his true voice speaking now.

"I know what you are thinking right now, Rachel I can almost read your thoughts. All along I thought it was just some wavelength we were on together, but that's not it at all. It's so much more, isn't it? Are you telling me that my wife died so that we could be together? Am I supposed to be alright with that? I mean, for God's sake...I love you beyond my own control, and I mean that literally! But I loved her of my own free will! I can't do this right now. I can't deal with this...it's too much. I wish to God you would have just let it be like I asked you to."

He was on the ground now on his knees crying in front of her and still she was silent.

"Are you just going to sit there and not say anything? I mean, is that some kind of cosmic way you have about you now?"

He got up and started to walk away.

She finally spoke.

"What I know is it doesn't really matter how mad you are right now, or that you feel like you are going crazy in some way. All of that is the realist in you letting go. You know how I know that? Because I lived it years ago. Derek, I didn't kill Claire...something else did that. I didn't orchestrate any of this in some bizarre way. This is fate, and you and I have no control over that. You may not have fallen in love with me of your own free will, but does that make it any less real? It's not like I'm some voodoo witch doctor who put a love spell on you...and it really fucking hurts for you to be feeling that way. I know you are beyond blown away by all of this, but don't you think I am too? Do you see me lashing out at you like that though?

He didn't turn around when he answered her.

"The difference is you brought me to all of this, you drew me into your world. I had no idea what I was getting into. It was one thing when this was you, but now it's me too...it's the both of us. Where are we supposed to go from here? We aren't human Rachel...at least not completely. I feel like I'm about to lose my sanity here. This isn't real life stuff...this is science fiction. Fiction...Rachel. I don't even know that I can truly believe any of this, maybe your grandmother was just a crazy old lady who bought into some kind of bullshit someone fed her a long time ago. We've both had quite a few medical exams throughout our lives...ones that included blood tests. I know I have. Don't you think something would have shown up? I'm a man of medicine...I know how DNA structure works, I know a great deal about how the human body functions. So no, I don't think that I can buy into this farfetched craziness and if you are going to, then I'm not sure where we go from here."

Every fear she had was standing here in front of her now consuming the man she loved. Rachel knew she had one shot at pulling him back from the edge of madness, so she gave it her all.

"My grandmother was not crazy...for fuck's sake. Why do you keep going to that? You saw her spirit right there in the house, and how it led us to our secrets. I know we've had blood tests and physicals in our lives, I'm not an idiot! Let me ask you this though; how many full panel blood tests have you ever had ran Derek...better yet Doctor Williamson how many DNA tests have you had performed on yourself in your lifetime? I mean because...I know I've had neither of those done. How about being really sick...just how many times have you been sick in your life Derek? Have you ever had a bad illness at all...anything harder than a cold? I bet I know that answer too, because neither have I!"

Rachel could see a hint of enlightenment on his face, but she continued.

"I'll bet people tell you all the time that you look ten to fifteen years younger than you actually are. I'll bet you got carded for alcohol well into your thirties, because I know I did. You are forty-two Derek, but how old do you feel? Remember when you went and got that complete physical and had all those tests done on your heart? I will bet you my bank account that doctor told you that you have the heart of a twenty year old man in perfect condition...didn't he? You know how I know all of this? Because I've been told all of it. We don't age as quickly, Derek. My grandmother was in her eighties when she died and she didn't look a day over sixty...probably even younger. My father looked a good ten years younger than my mother—correction, my stepmother—who was five years younger than him. What about your parents, Derek? How old did they look when they died?"

It was something he had never really thought about—the fact that his parents had him in their fifties never really played any part in Derek's life, but now it did strike him as odd. His father was in his late eighties when he died from heart failure. The old man had been electrocuted three times in the latter years of his life. Two of those times had been in his early sixties as a result of faulty wiring inside machines at the plant where he had worked. The third time, which was basically the charm as Derek's father had called it, was when he was struck by lightning at the age of eighty-five.

The old man's ticker was a tough one he remembered thinking often. Now though, he was second guessing if that was the only factor. His mother was a different story. Right up until her eighty-fifth birthday, she had been the picture of health. It wasn't illness that took Derek's mother; it was a young white man who broke into his parents sprawling Georgia home in the early morning hours of late February 1996. He shot her in the head while she slept. It was ruled as a robbery/murder committed by a twenty-three year old schizophrenic man who claimed he knew aliens lived in that house. He was institutionalized after his trial.

My father hated white people in general, and he went to his grave hating them more than ever. Derek had told Rachel that once after telling her the minor details of his mother's death.

Now that Rachel was bringing up all of his old ghosts, something struck in his mind.

It was what Alex King—the young man convicted of his mother's death, had kept repeating over and over at his sentencing.

They weren't human all the way, I could see it...I could see it. I wanted to kill them both but he was gone! The young man had frantically told the judge this while pointing at Derek's father in the courtroom. As Derek remembered this all he felt ill. A cold feeling ran through him now.

He turned around to Rachel and faced her for the first time during the entire explosion between them.

"My...parents...were. Oh dear God, they were—"

He sank to his knees again and slumped over like a man who had been beaten down mentally, and he was. His sobs were coming from deep inside him and were constant.

Every bad thing he had just said to Rachel went right out of her mind. All she could see was her other half hurting and falling apart right in front of her. She got up and went to him, kneeling down and enveloping him in her arms.

"It's going to be okay, Derek...I swear to you everything is going to be alright. We are going to get through all of this. I promise you that someday, we will look back on this day. When we do that, we will be able to pinpoint the exact moment in time that changed our lives for the better. You and I together will be unstoppable. We will be unbreakable do hear me? Unbreakable."

He looked into her eyes as he gained control of himself.

"You must really hate me right about now for going off on you when I promised I would be the one to see you through all of this, no matter what it was. I was all talk wasn't I...when it all got real I crumbled, but look at you my baby doll being all strong. Meanwhile I've turned into a basket case."

Rachel couldn't help but laugh because the last thing this man was—was crazy.

"Derek, where is this coming from? You are talking nonsense honey...you have been for the last twenty minutes. Listen to me when I tell you that it's okay. It's okay to lose it sometimes...especially when your told you are an alien."

She waited for him to find the lifeline of humor she was throwing him and grab it. He did—he started laughing hysterically and didn't stop for a while.

After they had returned to the house, she sat him down in the family room by the fireplace and went to the kitchen and made them both a cup of hot tea. She put a shot of bourbon from the cupboard in Derek's because she felt he could use it right about now.

Hell he would probably down the bottle if I took it to him, she thought as she walked back into the room.

He was looking out the window as if he were a million miles away.

"Can you ever forgive me my love? I don't know came over me, but it wasn't something I wanted."

He has never sounded so serious, she thought, like his life depended on her answer, but before she could answer he spoke again.

"I said some God-awful things to you out there...I attacked you, I blamed you for things you had no control over. I lost it...that's all I can say. That, and I'm surprised you didn't punch me in the face and leave me out there to find my own way back."

"First of all, I could never punch that drop dead gorgeous face of yours, Mr. Williamson. I've seen that face in too many wonderful places. Second, I expected it...I mean I knew that it was a good possibility that you were going to react this way...who wouldn't?

Look at it this way Derek, a part of you has been asleep all of your life, and suddenly it has been awakened: without any warning. You are in a state of shock my dear, but it will pass. To tell you the truth, yes I'm freaking the hell out myself a little here. The thing is though: I've been prepped for this...you haven't. I've always known something was off about me. I mean my grandmother might have went about all of this ass backwards, but she clued me in a little. Hey, I'm not a witch, I'm not a clairvoyant, or voodoo priestess. I simply have ancient alien blood in me."

She was laughing hysterically now.

"Oh my God," Rachel said wiping the tears. "I've got to stop doing that, this is serious right...I mean it's not every day one finds out they have alien bloodlines."

Again she couldn't help but snicker as she said it. She knew what it was—it was what it always was. It was her way of dealing with something that was beyond her control.

"Here, have some tea, Derek. I put a shot of something in there for you because I know you can use it right about now," she said handing him the oversized mug.

He drank it down fast and hard even though it was still steaming hot.

"One other thing I don't understand," he said.

"What's that, love?"

"The journal said I was your other, and that you found me...that I'm your destiny. A blind date seems like a weird way for us to have met."

Rachel didn't have to think long, as if she had already taken it into consideration herself.

"Well...I guess Jan and Ken meeting was pretty unlikely, and that we happened to be their friends was just as unlikely. Maybe they had some kind of instinct like we did."

An odd look came to Derek's face, as if he was having another realization.

"Ken told me about when they met on the cruise. He told me there was a voice in his head...one that was not his own. He said it had told him to go for it. I thought he was crazy. He thought he was too drunk." Derek cracked a smile.

Derek looked at his empty glass, knowing that such a miniscule amount of liquor wouldn't be enough after a night like this.

"Where's the bottle?" He asked standing up and walking in the direction of the kitchen.

"It's in the cupboard to the left of the sink," Rachel answered.

He came back in the room carrying it.

"You want some in yours or did you already?"

"No my dear...none for me I don't do hard liquor. Girlie mixed drinks are about as strong as I can go."

"Rachel, can I ask you something else...where is your grandfather...you never mentioned having one...did you?"

She realized she hadn't ever mentioned her grandfather to him, but with good reason.

"He died long before I was born, and whenever I asked how, I was told not to, so eventually I stopped asking. I don't know anything about my grandfather my love," she said in a confused way.

"What are we going to do?" he asked, intentionally changing the subject.

She studied him for a minute or so and then began.

"Can you hear me out without freaking out on me? Can you let me be your hero for once instead of you being mine? Can you let go of the reins a little and stop thinking you have to save me from everything?"

He didn't hesitate to answer.

"Yes, I can."

"Derek this is not as horrific as your brain has interpreted it to be right now at this moment. You are the same man you were this morning and I am the same woman. We haven't mutated into some reptilian-like creatures. We are as human as we have always been, and we will continue to be. I have no idea how many others there are like us who don't even know...or do know. Do you see them taking over the world? No...they aren't Derek. You are letting your mind take you to crazy places honey, and you have to dial it back a bit. You have to get a grip, we will find people to help us understand more. You don't have to give up your normal life for this.

My grandmother was a teacher for forty-two years. She lived a normal life. You have to start looking at this all differently...think of what this is going to open us up to. We have a purpose, and I don't think it is meant to tear us down. We were meant to be, for something beyond what we can imagine. I believe that God really does have a great plan for us...something miraculous."

He sat on the couch listening to her every word and yet not hearing completely.

"You got all of that from reading a journal Rachel...that we are destined for something great. Just from reading your grandmother's words? I mean she did basically say just that, but how could you know all of this for sure?"

"No...Derek I didn't get all of this from reading her journal. Her journal confirmed something that I already know in my soul and I think that you do as well. We are each other's destiny...we were made for one another. Our love was written in the stars a long time ago, and now that we are joined together we are going to be phenomenal."

He had no words for what he was feeling right now for her. He put down his drink and went over to where she was sitting on the sofa.

"Take off your clothes...better yet stand up."

Rachel stood up. He ran his fingers down the middle of her breast and to her stomach below, and slipped his hand inside of her jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them. He knelt down and pulled them off followed by her panties, kissing her lower belly as he did it. He made his way back to her shirt and pulled it over her head, revealing her full breasts spilling out the top of her bra. With one snap it fell to the floor with her other clothes.

He laid her back on the sofa and proceeded to undress himself quickly. He kissed her neck, her breast and made his way back to her mouth. He looked deeply into her eyes as he entered her even deeper.

"I'll never do that again...no matter what we face. I will never lose myself like that again Rachel. I can say the words I'm sorry many times to you throughout our lives, but I'm only going to be sorry this one time...because from here on out and for eternity I'm never going to have to be sorry for anything again. I will never hurt you...I will never leave you. I don't think I could even if I had to. You were right when you said I had known it in my soul. I've known for the past six months that we are something beyond definition to one another. When I am with you like this it's even stronger...like we become one with our souls when we make love. I will be a part of you forever and even longer. Tell me you feel the same...tell me...tell me."

His rhythm was driving her to the brink of an ecstasy so powerful that it washed over her and flowed through her body like a tidal wave. As she let go she thought for a second she would surely lose consciousness. When it had subsided, she slid her warm hands up to his beautiful face.

"I'm telling you Derek...I feel the same. There is nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you...because I know in my soul that you never would. I've known since the moment I met you, somewhere inside I knew you could never hurt me. I knew you would never even try."

As they consumed each other with their lovemaking there on the sofa in her childhood home, the house itself almost seemed to exhale, if that were possible. The air was lighter and the atmosphere of the place felt energized in some odd way.

Afterward they lay in each other's arms, and were suddenly overwhelmed by the familiar scent they had both smelled before.

"Rachel, do you smell that in the air...what is that...I can't place it, but I know it from somewhere."

Without a second's thought it came to her without hesitation.

"Babies. It smells the way a baby smells just after a bath...clean and fresh and soft."

Suddenly an unseen hand from somewhere in time and space picked up Derek's right hand, and placed it on Rachel's lower stomach. As it did, a cool breeze passed through the room and the scent intensified. This time there was no imagining it for either of them—at the same time they heard a very faint voice whisper one word softly on the edges of the breeze.

"Here."

Rachel looked at Derek in a state of utter shock and confusion. She sat up instantly.

"That's not possible Derek...it's not possible, I can't have babies. Why did you put your hand on me that way?"

He looked at Rachel in an equal state of shock.

"I didn't...it felt as if something else lifted my hand and placed it there, and you heard the voice as well, I know you did. It was as plain as day wasn't it Rachel? You heard what that voice just said."

She reached down and touched her lower stomach.

"I heard it Derek...I heard it say here. How could that be possible? I can't even believe I'm asking you that...after the day we've had, I guess just about anything is possible."

Derek could only smile, it felt like that same small voice had giggled inside his head, and suddenly he felt as if something came alive in him. It was as if all at once he knew that no matter what they faced, or how much their lives were changed forever: they were going to be better than okay.

"My dear, with you, I'm sure just about anything is possible. Just like you said to me, we could be on the brink of something absolutely wonderful, something beyond anything we can imagine. It's almost like an epiphany just went off in my brain...that we are going to be okay. I really believe that all of this is something that was put into force by something much greater than we can understand right now. I know. I just know."

As he was saying it she was on her feet getting dressed.

"Derek...I have to get a pregnancy test, like yesterday! Come on. Get up get dressed we are going into town to find an all-night pharmacy."

"Rachel it's only 6 PM."

"Dammit, I still can't get used to these shorter days. Well, come on still...chop chop, let's go!"

The trip into town and back to the house took a little over forty-five minutes. Rachel had bought three different brands for good measure. After they got back inside the house she headed straight for the bathroom. Ten minutes later they were sitting side-by-side reading one single word that changed their lives forever in ways that neither of them could have imagined.

"Pregnant."

In a distant place where it had been sleeping for the better part of a decade—only waking to feed every few years. The evil being remained just as it always had—undiscovered from any of the world that functioned above it. Now, on this date, it awoke fully.

The humming in its brain was the undeniable warning that it had begun. A great one had been created.

As it woke from its deep sleep a sudden unexpected hunger struck from deep within and it knew first things were first. Even though it had fed not so long ago. It needed more now for the journey, and the fight. It would find its next meal soon, and then it would be energized enough to begin the tracking.

Sometimes this was easy and other times it was a complete failure. It depended on the circle of humans or others involved in the great one's creation. Sometimes forces were too strong, even for a warrior of its evil caliber: sometimes great ones were born, and after that happened the waiting period would begin again until they came of age and their purpose was made known. Many murders and assassinations had been committed at the hands of its kind over the centuries. It was always so easy to take possession of a human and torture their minds turning their brains into something they no longer controlled. When that task was complete, they could be trained to carry out the most horrific of things.

It often wished it could do this just for fun, but that was not in the orders, and orders were sacred. To go against them meant certain destruction from within. The murders of great ones or their carriers could never be from its own hands: the murderous deed had to come from human hands. That way, it was almost always determined to be a result of insanity or just another senseless killing. Humans killed one another over such trivial matters that it had become commonplace among them, it was in their nature to destroy themselves. It both loved and hated that about these lower life forms. Why the God that had created humans, and so many others like them in his universes loved them so much was beyond its understanding.

Its maker was of a different world. The Master was from the darker forces that once were among the light and grace of God in a time long ago. Then he was cast out into darkness. There, The Master made its own universe in the depths of dark places that no one could ever discover. God may have made all things, but The Master had a talent for turning some of those things bad. For as surely as goodness exists, so must evil, and evil was always its first and only purpose.

When great ones are made, all measures must be taken to destroy them before their calling comes and there are only two chances to do this: before their birth, or as soon as they have achieved their greatness in life. If the job is failed at both of those places and times, then death for the one tasked to kill the great one is inevitable, for it has failed The Master and the purpose.

Many warriors before it and after it would either succeed or fail, and time would go on. For it though, failure was not an option. It would tear its way through thousands of miles of earth until it found the place where the great one's scent was the strongest and then it could focus, then it could plan the end. Time was of the essence, it had begun.

The first task however, was finding a meal to energize, to recharge and strengthen itself. If it succeeded the way it had in its past assignments, this would be its final one. Then it would be free to return to its dark universe far away from this doomed place called earth.

It couldn't wait to find its host, but it knew it must plan carefully. It knew it must find someone close, close enough to the creators of the great one, so that it could end them, and the great one to come. For it had been written long ago, that this great one would be the greatest one yet, and if it survived: then evil would eventually cease to exist.
