 
# UNFAITHFULLY YOURS.

T.L.D.

I spy three little dots.

A trio of tiny black spots.

Each one stands for the small things...

We value most.

And with out them, our heart is haunted by their ghost.

But each person has a different value.

What means a lot to me...

Likely means nothing to you.

You may treasure your privacy and space.

I may put importance on being with friends...

And putting a smile on their face.

But each has the right to give...

The same thing a higher or lower price.

But appreciate that someone else may not think...

That very thing is worth the sacrifice.

I spy three little dots.

A trio of tiny black spots.

Each one having a dissimilar meaning for each person.

T.T.K.

Looking for some time to kill.

Searching for a place where I can relax.

I peer into the mirror and start fixing the cracks.

How can this be such a crime?

All I want is half a day to call mine.

I'm not looking to prolong my life.

Down here I don't want any extra time.

But now I'm saying "This is where I draw the line."

I'm sick of not having a second of my own.

I just want to be left alone.

At the moment my schedule is full.

I can't fit myself in.

If this keeps going on like this,

The race to the grave will the only race I will win.

I need some time to kill.

Some time to do nothing at all.

Or just watch the rain drops fall.

A long walk in the rain forest.

Some rest will do me best.

A little vegin out.

Just lying about.

Stress is something I can do without.

I need some time to kill.

N.T.R.

You're gone never to return.

There's more than bridges that do burn.

I never thought you would go so quick.

I can't understand why you did get so sick.

You were usally so healthy.

So full of life.

But then along came death

and cut your life short with tragedy's knife.

Within twentyfour hours and two trips to the vet,

you were gone.

My best friend, my companion.

You were more than just a pet.

They said it was a viral infection.

I wish I had the power of foresight.

So that I could have changed destiny's direction.

And everything would still be alright.

And you would still be here with me.

But instead grief and sorrow...

won't let my mind and heart, free.

You are gone, never to return.

I just planted in my garden,

in corner where you used to always bury your bones amongst...

the daisies and the living stones, some dog flowers.

So when I am lonely.

I can watch them grow and think of you for a few hours.

You did not say much at all.

But when I needed someone you were always on call.

You would kindly lick my face when I was sad or had a fall. Now I have you here no more.

When I think about it,

my heart like the wax of a candle,

starts to melt.

How can I get on with living...

with these finite feelings I now felt?

You may be gone but not forgotten.

You might be dead but...

you're still live strong within my heart.

And you have passed away

but from my memory dear you never part.

You're gone never to return.

There's more than bridges that do burn.

One day the pain of loss, to handle I will learn.

But it is hard to think of you...

as gone never to return.

Going too close to the edge. Going too far. Burning out like a red star in a galaxy of fantacy. Dancing, within the chains of pain and to their rattling. With everything you are battling.

Drug crazed trying to hide from the eternal sadness, of reality and life itself. Trying to forget. Sweet smelling cigarette. Not here. Not yet. No never ready to face the mirror. Just staring beyond all the visual. Residual chemical imbalance. What is sane??? In this psychotic world. Curled up in a corner crying for days. Mind trapped in a rat race maze. Drug crazed.
B.T.

I want to be Big Time.

Have an airport full of planes that are all mine.

Be able to eat & drink with all the other fat, rich swine.

Use plastic surgery to cover all my scars & wrinkles.

And every unwanted line.

Have people faint & scream, when I come into sight.

Have every second woman wanting & willing,

To spend with me their night.

Sweat & bleed under a ten thousand watt studio light.

Have the script writ so I win all the arguments,

And every fist fight.

Being allowed to let go of myself every time...

The insanity bug does bite.

Spend half my life chasing the public's attention.

Spend the other half running away from fame.

Living a life of the vane.

Making excuses stupid & lame.

Letting other's opinions make me de mess T cated & tame.

Erecting a cut out of me with a building sight crane.

My image...

Filling the empty spaces of a person's brain.

Not educational just entertaining.

The populaces' thinking I'm draining.

Their memory I have tattooed and blood stained with the... Violence I have portrayed.

With my values their world I invade.

But is it true that I am self made?

Made by another's design.

Is this world really mine, now that I'm in the Big Time?

B by the power of 3

You used to be a natural brunette. But those days you now, try hard to forget. Your hair has been... And on the top of your head I've seen... More colours than on... Van Gogh's palate...

And Matisse's brush combined. Your dyes are rainbows redefined. But for now your colour is... Bleached Bitch Blonde

The question is... Will tomorrow you be the same? Or tonight will your "here and now look", be long gone? Or will with the pass of time, you transform your locks in to Cheap Red Wine? Trying to make a loud comment by getting silent stares. They don't like your look. And you say, "Who cares?" You are sick of, the every so slight tint. If you are trying to get a strong message across, You can't transfer it with a weak hint. Your hair screams out for attention and says... "Life's a bitch, so I will be a bitch if I want. I'm sick of all your two faced nicety, while you sharpen the knife, you will stab me in the back with." So you don't mind what sort of criticism, people give. Because by their own ideal ideas, they are made blind. You don't care what is the right or the wrong type of fashion. You really don't have no mind for what is politically correct. Others' narrow minded points of view, you reject. And until you are sick of it. And your dreams drowned in an industrial waste filled pond. You will still be Bleached Bitch Blonde.

V.O.S.

The violence of silence. It tears me in two as it reminds me of the emptiness of life without you. So empty. So empty. So silent. I recall how upon my ears, your sweet voice did fall. Like a shower of sound. Your happy songs brightened the day of all those around. But now all that does remain is quiet and it's aftermath of loneliness, sorrow and pain. Since you've been gone the wind has been mute. And the gypsy has gone somewhere else, different to play his flute. I move my lips and wag my tongue. Yet there is no voice. Until you return, this nauseating notelessness must stay. It and I have no choice. But to wait for your return. And once more, how to speak, we can again learn. I used to complain of how you never stopped talking and singing. But now I wish that... To this valley of whispers, your noises you once more were bringing. Once more with echoes of your laughter the hills were ringing. The creatures of night have stopped their serenading. The moon and the stars no longer over the sky are parading. Everything has changed so much. Since you have left this place you once called home. The owl can't see any uses in being baritone if he is to perform on his own. The waves no longer crashes against the sand and pebbles of the beach. I can't hear a thing. If there is anything audible my ear it does not reach. I hit my hands together but they do not clap. Just this once I wish to listen to the drip of the tap. But no. Some how you have taken away all acoustic harmony. And for the first time I have heard the ear piercing mute tated voiceless symphony........ Of silence.

W.O.W.

You want a war...

Of words.

So load your tongue.

I'm gonna give one.

I don't like to fight and disagree.

But you have verbally cornered me.

I must defend my pride and dignity.

Just when I start to get things back into place.

You shove these lies into my face.

I am usally quiet and reserved.

But none of these accusation have I deserved.

Until now my energy I have conserved.

I would usally silently take it.

But if you want a conflict this bad, I will make it...

Happen.

I will make it happen.

I can make it happen.

I once was a quiet sort of guy.

But that side of me, I now kiss good bye.

I'm not going to stand for this anymore.

The time has come to fight for it all.

I know I am one half of this awful situation.

But you don't need to ruin my already bad reputation.

I guess I deserve a bit of what I get.

But some thing tells me that you are not finished yet.

With linguistic sounds you try to execute me.

But what ever you do you won't mute me.

You want a war of words? WELL YOU'VE GOT ONE !
U.P.

There is still no answers to the prayers I pray.

So let the gods take my soul away.

Put me in a body bag.

Hell could never be this much of a drag.

Nothing more here can I find.

So I'm waiting to leave it all behind.

I know I shouldn't give in.

But of late I just haven't had even one small win.

The world seems to be against me.

All I want is, from it all, to be free.

I have got to the point of complete...

And utter retreat.

I am now in hope, for the final fatal part of defeat.

Don't get me wrong I gave it my all.

But now I hear a ghostly distant call...

It is calling from outer space.

Saying...

"Time has come for you to leave this depressive place.

Time to set the spirit on it's way.

Before the dawn of the final day."

So no longer do wish to stay.

I can not stay.

T.L.S.

Looks likes sugar, tastes like shit.

Something here just doesn't fit.

Your laughter and that smile on your face.

Is some how out of place...

With all the rest of them wearing a depression inspired look.

With rainbow coloured lies we are easy to hook.

Making us forget, how much better was the world we forsook.

How much longer can you hide trash and litter...

In bins covered in glitter.

It is only a matter of time...

Before it all loses it's gloss and shine.

Soon the next mistake will be yours.

Not her and mine.

From the surface everything is so appealing.

But inside there's on heart or feeling.

Is it cause with machines all day we are dealing,

Instead having personal contact?

We need to have some.

So that we learn how to communicate with one...

Of our own species.

Hypnosis of your light and laser show will wear off.

Like a child's nervous cough.

Like a week long disease.

Every one you will never please.

But at least do what is for everyone's best.

Instead of trying to impress...

The ones with the money and the power.

But I don't worry to much cause one day soon...

It will be your final hour.

Looks likes sugar, tastes like shit.

Something here just doesn't fit.
E.W.E.

I have every where eyes. I see it all so don't you tell me no lies. I see you at the bus stop. I have seen you the market store. I saw you do nothing. I saw you do it all. Push one or anther button and you're on the my screen. I know what you are thinking. I know what you dream. I see you get up in the morning. I watch you go to bed at night. I can even see you when you have turned off the light. Every where eyes. I got night vision. Sight the invisible. Know the secret. No one escapes my cameras and my telescopes and my every where eyes. I have hundreds of flies on the wall. Watching you claw your way up to a stand only to once again fall. I'm have the information of your past and I direct your future like a director of a movie. In which I am the only audience and the only critic. One step away from being God. Two steps away from being above him. Obey my laws cause there is no way in which to win. Now that I have every where eyes.

REALEASE

Everyone wants to break out of this encaging society. Everyone wants to be free. Free from controls. Free from restrictions. Free from laws. That is why people get hooked on flying cause you are braking the laws of nature. Man can not fly. But you prove that law wrong. And to celebrate your conquest someone immortalises it in song. But even with life's many joys, some want the ultimate realease. Death. Why you ask. Cause they are sick of breathing in disappointment's stale air with every breath. They are tied of watching the painful realities of War and her children Disease, Famine and Suffering. While all the element we are polluting. With our modern "Civilized" living. And an answer to these problems they feel powerless to bring. So the song of depression they sing. Till they get a parole for their tormented soul. An exoneration from this flesh infected tribulation. An acquittal from this life that means so little. They are glad to be spared from this world that never really cared. Their hearts they did liberate from a place full of horrendous hate. Their soul they did ransom for their ideals. They had already been crusted under Progress's forever forward turning wheels. They will be mourned and missed by the few who care for and love them. And their lips tenderly kissed. But now they are at peace. They have found their place of rest. Now have their realease. It would have been great if they joined us in life's funfilled feast. But from their terminal torture now they are realeased. At last they have found REALEASE.

Evening. Listen to the Evening sing. She sings her good night lullaby. As she matures into the night, the day time creatures fall asleep to the rhythm of the trees in late afternoon breeze and the hypnosis of the fading light. Then the nocturnals come out of hiding. Possums, koalas and geckoes scurry up and down the forest gums. While the bats, owls, crickets and moths perform their aerobatics under the big tent of the galaxy. Next time, take the time to watch the sun set and listen to the Evening sing her lullaby.

Sandie.

Sandie. Sweet as candy. You warm me inside like a bottle of brandy. Right now your love would be so handy. For your love is the best there can be. Warm, tender and kind. You're my greatest ever, find. Eyes that burn into my soul. Each day, more and more, your love takes it's toll. Each day the memory of you lasts longer and longer. Each day my fondness of you get stronger and stronger. Your my friend, now my permanent

lover. You are like no other. You've got an very individual personality. You love fantacy yet you face reality. Your impossible to sum up. A thousand flavours in one cup. Sandie. I love you totally. Be my midnight candy. Be sweet to me. I can't forget you. I can't forget .... the way you swept me off my feet. The way you make me feel. My love for is forever. My love for you is for real. Don't you understand that I want to keep you in my pocket, so you're always close at hand. So when I'm feeling blue, I can turn around and find you. Your smile is infectious. Only around you, do I feel complete. You're the best girl I ever did meet. All night my dreams you haunt. All day my thoughts you occupy. I will think of you till the day I die. Where ever you may go, please keep in touch. Cause to me, you mean so very much. I'd give up all I have to taste the sweetness of your love again. You are my shelter from the burning sun, the wild winds or driving rain. You are my oasis in this desert of numb hearts. You are blood to my soul, feeding loving kindness to all parts. Sandie. Sweet as candy. You warm me inside like a bottle of brandy. Right now your love would be so handy. For your love is the best there can be. Sandie. I love you totally. Be my midnight candy. Be sweet to me.

Spread

I gotta jam. Give me a beat and I'll start jamming. I gotta jam. Make it fast. Make it slamming. Go on strut your stuff. I gotta jam. I just can't get enough. I got a hunger to jam. I won't stop till I've feed it. Music is a gift, go on share it. Go on spread it. 1-2-3-4. Everyone get the floor. I don't care what anyone may say. I've got to jam my life away. I gotta jam. This one goes out to all those could be big music artist. Keep on jamming, keep on writing, keep on singing. Keep it up for the joy you are bringing. The music is in my blood. Music is my first love. I'll keep on jamming till I pass away. I'll keep it rocking till my final day. I gotta jam.

Inadequate

Words can't say the way feel. They can't let you know that my love is real. They are inadequate. In the scheme of things comprehension does not fit. Silly bulls. They don't belong. Does not matter how hard I try, I'd be talking till the day I die. But I couldn't say how, I love you here and now. I'd steal for you all the sky. So we could together always fly. Arm in arm, wing in wing. For you I do everything. Poetry falls short of saying the thing I am trying to convey. How I love and care for you. You make every thing seem fresh and new. As an expression and explanation words seem boring and songs are flat. Only you and your love can do that. Words can't say the way I feel. They are inadequate.
S.F.

What has happened to the sweet part of life.

Crush the cake under foot.

Don't cut it with enjoyment's knife.

Sugar Free.

Secretly mixing up a batch of fun in your room.

You lick clean the ceramic bowl and the wooden spoon.

While the politicians send the last laugh to Pluto's moon.

You crave most, for the things you are not allowed.

How much longer can they control the famished crowd?

No more home sweet home.

Leave all the good things alone.

Sugar Free.

Nothing tastie, nothing nice.

No salt, no pepper and no spice.

Everything is plain and bland.

But that is just what they planned.

No flavour, no M.S.G.

Additive free.

Sure enough, let us know the alternative.

But a choice to us, still give.

No meat and cooked vegetable.

Always hungry.

No more eating till you're full.

Their new idea you slyly sell.

But we didn't know that this was going to be such...

A gastronomic hell.

Sugar Free.

I hope my mouth grows closed and I never have to eat again.

Feeding us scraps like animals in a pen.

They promised us a pleasent untroubled life.

But we say "When?"

We are undernourished,

While they pig out at more than they ever want and need.

This addiction of their's for power and greed,

Will be brought to an end,

When justice grows from hope's deeply sown seed.

Sugar Free.

Empty is the feeling of our stomachs and our souls.

We are starting to look like concentration camp dolls.

But full as a bull is how they always feel.

They eat all day.

While we struggle to survive,

Lucky to have each day a single meal.

Tell me who has the raw end of the deal.

Bread and water is all we have to sustain.

And no chance of having anything that does entertain,

Or does occupy and feed our thought starved brain.

Everything is rationed.

Around them this world is fashioned.

We are told we can have our cake but we are just to look.

We may as well just have a picture torn out of...

A culinary cook book.

Sugar Free.

This world is to bitter for me.
U.F.Y. I never can love just one girl. I never can stay loyal. Every time see another lady of beauty, my blood begins to boil. I'm unfaithfully yours. Love is my reason for rising in the morning. I have to give you this warning. The pursuit of pleasure is my cause. I'm unfaithfully yours. I will love you today and be gone tomorrow. No regrets! No remorse! And of course no sorrow. Before we get any further, I better warn you. I'm a cheat. I fall in love with every second woman I meet. While I'm with you I will treat & please you good. And I'll be kind and sweet. But it won't be long before I'm back on the street. Lustful lies are half of all I speak. Your love not your heart is what I seek. I'm unfaithfully yours. I'll be your friend. I'll be there for you. But I can never be true. You can ask almost anything of me but just don't ask for loyalty. On me don't rely, I will break your heart and then off to somewhere else I'll fly. On me don't depend cause I will bring your faith, in love to an end. I don't understand the notion of devotion. Trust your misgivings cause a double life I've been living. I really ain't worth your time. But if you got some to waste. Come help me spend mine. I'm a traitor. I am a man of treachery. So don't you ever trust me. Unfaithfully yours. Everything I say you should doubt. I'm the type you would do better with out. But if after all this you still like me. I guess we could hang out. It's not that I want to stab you in the back. My mind and heart just can't keep on the same track. If you expect me to stay. Your expectations I will betray. I am the person of contradiction. Love to me is an addiction. Until you cure me of this obscure affliction. I will be... Unfaithfully Yours. I would marry you today if the contract had a freedom clause. Unfaithfully Yours.

Sensitivity

I don't know what I want but I want it now.

I want your sensitivity.

I want you to feel every minute touch.

I want you to feel so little.

I want you to feel so much.

I want you to feel all the feelings I ever did feel.

I want to put warmth back into your heart,

That is now cold as steel.

I want to tear down all your easy to hide behind brick walls, And stone fences.

I want to show you all the colours ever made.

I hope to help you to enjoy each hue and shade.

I would like to help you hear the silence.

Show you how to listen to the voices in the wind.

The cries of the sea.

Set all your senses free.

The awakening of the sleeping perceptions.

Rewire each of your thinking cells.

Looking at things from a different direction.

Revive the lost.

And retrieve the left behind responses.

Become aware of the alluring alieness of things now... Experienced.

I don't know what I want but I want it now.

I want your sensitivity.

I want you to feel every minute touch.

K.J.C.

When you want to feel down call the Kill Joy Clown.

When you are sick of smiling and a change of a frown.

Steal the fun feel from this otherwise ordinary town.

In a sea of sorrow, one by one,

Your positive thoughts start to drown.

King of misery is his long kept crown.

Just when the future starts to look bright.

He will dull the light.

When you feel like the perfector,

Along crawls the kill joy clown to be the dejector.

When your heart is full of happiness' fire.

He decides to be the dampener & your Jeremiah.

When every thing starts to feel super.

He rock on in as the party pooper.

You get every thing you planned & fought hard for.

He comes along & ruins it all.

What a spoil sport.

The false comforter of the worst sort.

You feel you're a little of better off & a whole lot wiser.

Then he shows you up for what you really are.

He is the demoralizer.

You just finish the things on your list.

Then he gives you one ten times as long.

Frustration's jester & a total defeatist.

You find your self at your gladdest.

Then he comes with bad news.

He loves being the sadist.

He is an arse about you can do well without.

As he juggles depression, disappointment & dismay,

As his greatest trick.

Your mood changes from good to bad very quick.

As he plays a melon collie tune on his fishbone flute.

He acts like sinister's silly coot.

You are sure you have come so far.

Then he tells you other wise like a ghoulish galah.

Chance seems to give you change of luck.

Then the kill joy clown proves that life still does suck.

What a schmuck.

When you want to feel down call the Kill Joy Clown.

Of LIFE.

We must get these thing under control before they control us.

A megalithic mountain of mass...

Mass hysteria. Mass mortality.

Mass media reshaping reality.

Harness the winds before they unite & becomes a cyclonic gust.

Blowing through one's mind leaving behind the debris of...

Past shattered dreams and bulky broken lies.

And the feeling of empty hopelessness.

Just this once help us out.

Take the time care.

Before it all gets too BIG for anyone to repair.
Insultive Insomnia

In the city that never sleeps,

You are always runned off your feet.

You march to time's silent beat.

Why is there people going hungary?

When you can always get something to eat.

Twelve hours a day in front of a computer monitor.

Sitting all day in that not so comfortable office seat.

How come there is so many lonely people here?

When there is hundreds of places,

Opened twenty four hours a day that people can to meet.

How come the average person is so afraid of...

Every stranger on the street.

Why must there be some who live by lies and deceit.

How come what is rightfully our's we can no longer keep.

The majority following along like a foolish flock of sheep.

Deeper into crime and poverty the city gets,

As along the so called road of progress it creeps.

Even with life so complex, it still is not complete.

With hidden anger the soul of crowd heat.

Until it has burnt away all restraint and control.

We are in trouble!

Like chasm one hundred miles deep.

Grown men and women panicking like..

Little children locked in a dark room.

Sure that this claustrophobic closet will be their tomb.

Their hearts full of feelings of dread and doom.

Very close to...

It will be very soon...

The final show down.

The high noon...

Of this city that never sleeps.

BIGGER

It's just getting bigger.

It won't go away.

The problem is getting bigger all the time.

You would do something about it if, you were a real friend... Of mine.

How can you just watch it grow?

Knowing that unlike you, we have no where else to go.

You promised to help us to solve,

The mess you helped to create.

But by the time you do something, it will be too late.

We all must do our part, to stem the growth of this cancer... Called HATE.

Nationalism, Religion, Civil Unrest, War.

How can you watch it all?

As if it was a computer game.

As if there were no dead and lame.

As if there were no people suffering and feeling pain.

But your keyboard and your hands are the colour of...

GlobalBloodStain.

Distrust spreads like the after affect of leaking toxic waste.

We must move in haste.

Before the beast inside us all acquires the taste...

For BLOOD.

Before we all start to justify the injustice...

Time To Heal

Right now I don't know how I feel.

I need time to heal.

Life has lost it's zest like an orange without it's peel.

All I owned, from me you did steal.

Don't tell me that it's not such a big deal.

How can you expect me to forgive and forget, so quick?

The sight of you makes me violently sick.

If you would disappear for good,

That would be the best trick of the year.

I don't think I can ever love you again.

After you proved yourself as no sort of friend.

Just wish that this nightmare would end.

You betrayed me, my love & my trust.

What for?

A few passing pleasurable moments of lust.

You will never get back on par.

You have gone one step to far.

When I think of you, I nurse my soul-deep scar.

I don't think for this pain, I will ever find a remedy.

But if you want to help steer clear of me.

Sometimes it's therapeutic to be alone.

So get out of my way.

Or with one glance I will turn you to stone.

I doubt if I will be able to restore,

Things back to the way they were before.

I may never be able to love again.

Why do I always get the bastard men.

No longer am I putting up with this annoying heart ache.

I won't pretend that, you are,

We are something we ain't just for your sake.

Good riddance prince of hurt.

You would cheat on anything wearing a skirt.

Bye king of distress.

Go find another fool in a dress.

May be one day I will find a love true and pure

May be one day I will find a cure...

For this displeasure.

A medicine at the right time, in the right measure.

Until that rolls my way like a chariot wheel.

I will need...

Time to heal.

N.I.R. Please tell me, are these memories really mine? Or just a mirage of another time? Are these feelings an emotional hologram of some other man? Can't explain this sensation of something extra in my mind. Stow aways in my brain. Life's full of echoes of other's thoughts. Truth displayed distortedly on the screen. Dreams highjacked by ghosts and strangers. Highs of unexperienced dangers. Lows of unknown depression. Travels in new directions. Making new connections the out side world. Into a turmoiled sea we are hurled head first. Drowning with too much thought and not enough explanation. Crashing at another transmission station. When you come to the realization that nothing is real.
RETURN. Sailor sails out to sea. She waits patiently for him to come back. Many a life has been wasted like that. Effervescence of life goes stale and becomes flat. She cries, "When will he return and this fire of aching anticipation in my heart on longer burn." She sends him a letter via the corps and prays that he doesn't need to go to war. And his smile will shine upon her once more. I hope for her sake that this is not another cause of heartache. And he can take time to see her when his leave he takes. She sits at the very spot, they first met trying to remember, then trying to forget. In my heart I pray that this is more than a one sided dream. Cause she is feeling the worst hurt I've ever seen. I hope she gets to meet and love him again. Cause right now her soul is in

immense pain. She is my sister in travel. My friend in a stranger sort of way. And hurts to watch her strengths waste away. She told me of how she awaits that forever precious day. When her feelings for him, in person she can convey. For most guys it is easy to love and leave but most girls have a more permanent attachment and need. Can't help but wonder if he is thinking of her as much as she is thinking of him. May she one day soon his heart win. Her heart is rapped in a sail. As she awaits the reply to her mail. Sailor sails out to sea. She waits patiently for him to return.

T.G.T.B.T

I can't help but question if all is as it seems. You are the answer to all my prayers and the fulfilment of all my dreams. Everytime something starts going my way, it turns bad, to my dismay. For high hopes, the dearest price I pay. Disappointment comes from false expectation. Wanting the most from every situation. You lose faith when things go wrong, in a long duration. My heart is always waiting for someone at someday station. All my lucky stars end up being satellites. All my affairs only last a few long nights. All my angels fall back to earth before they reach the heaven's heights. All my flowers drop their buds before they come into bloom. All my dream houses become ghost towns before I build my first room. Everything of worth, to turn into something worthless, is my doom. So please forgive me for being cynical. But most of my mountains fall back into the sea before they reach their pinnacle. So that is why I can't believe I've got you. It all looks too good to be true.

When the mystery is gone...

When the mystery is gone, will you still hang on, to each word I speak? When the mystery is gone, will it still be my love you seek to acquire? When the mystery is gone, will your heart still have a fire of passion? Or when the mystery is gone,

will I be a fashion of the past? Will the memories last longer than the fascination? Or will it be like another vacation or holiday? Along with the secrecy will everything else fade away like a morning mist? When you have ticked off all your questions on your list so very long. When the mystery is gone will the feeling be wrong? When there is nothing left to ask. When I'm no longer a phantom and no more wear a mask, will you still be my friend? Or will it all come to an end?

.H.B.L

I hope out there some where is my true love. With an angelic smile and golden hair. But until I find that one, I will follow the setting sun. Some want me to play the fool's game. Hurting and being hurt, just the same. What's in a scar? What's in a little pain? I had a heart that never felt a thing. But now it feels every irritating sting. Once I would've never shed a tear. But now I would openly cry. I used to sing a love warrior song. Now I sing the heart break lullaby. I was cruel, I was mean. I was the worst sort of person there's ever been. But I've change with the lessons of hurt. I have learnt what it feels to be on the end of, one of Bad Love's deals. I thought I would never fall in love. But I fell hard. And all I have to show for it, is a tourist's shirt and a wallet full of empty phone cards. Instead of stealing her heart, she stole mine. And now I hang on a dream. In hapless hopelessness I did wait wasting time. But I guess she was the judge & the jury, I was paying for my crime. I've got over her. Well the best I could. But the problem is to live my past life didn't make feel any good. So from then on I gave true love a try. I haven't found it yet and don't think I ever will. So in sadness I let my voice go & let my song fly. Singing the heart break lullaby.

C.M.O.M.D.

Cure me of my disease. The doctors can't say what it is. Neither can that sci co logical wizz. With his know it all, looks. And his shelves full of analytical books. The hippy said I've got a bad vibe. The gypsy told me that I'm not really alive. I can't put my finger on it. But right now & for the last few years, I've been feeling like shit. I crawl on my hands & knees. I want the panacea not your sympathises. Can some one cure me of my disease? There's no medicine that works as yet. Things that never happened I remember. Things that did happen I forget. A cure I can't find. For this pain of body & mind. Is it a chemical imbalance or an allergy? Is it mind over matter? What's the matter with me? Should I just give up finding the answers & live my life the best I can? And pretend that I'm not as bad as I think I am. A strange woman came up to me and touched my heart. But I ended up with more sorrow than I had before she did start. She drew out of me all my aches and pains. But when she left they returned again. I'm a nut within a shell. So much of me hidden inside. Half of the time I want to break free. The other half I just want to stay here and hide. Can I find all I need, to make a forest from this encased seed? Will I get all I desire before my passion destroys it's self in a self destructive fire? Is it physical, mental or spiritual? No one really knows for sure. But one thing I know is that I don't want these feelings anymore.

Something Better.

Something better than the mere existence I now lead. Believing the lies I read in the national papers. Something better than the scar ridden escapes I indulge in. An improvement. Start again down a road leading to nowhere. In a no man's land. Not welcomed, not missed. Disconnected thoughts threaded together with insanity. A mind game with no winners or losers. Just

players. Climbing in pursuit of unattainable heights. Following the lights of dreams unfulfilled. Where can I find

Something Better?

The poetess. I was hitchhiking up to Cairns, when a hippy gave me a lift. And told me about this woman who calls her self the poetess. So I went to see her, changed my direction and plans. Near Kuranda is where she lives, in a cave, behind a waterfall. People came from all over to see her, for the stories she told, the songs she sung and the wisdom she gave. It took me a good three hour walk to find the poetess and her place. When she first saw me she welcomed me with the warmest kindest smile on her face. She then led me to her earthly abode and asked me to tell her all about myself and my travels down life's road. I told her of my search for freedom. She told me, "One day you will see that you are free cause you want be." She spoke of distant yesterday and not so far away tomorrows. And how many people add to their sorrows. She recited a few poems and sang a few songs. And once I learnt the words I sang along. I spent a week with the poetess, helping her plant her crops, milk her cow and carry water. But never once had I learnt her real name. But as she said to me she didn't want riches or fame. Those things would only ruin her art. And the pursuit of such things would only defile one's heart. There are many people I've met and now forget. But of all the people I remember no other was as wise or as kind as the poetess.

Adam Lucas Humfrees. Adam Lucas Humfrees bought himself a kombi. Travelled around this country to have a look at what there was to see. Left his job at the casino. Sick of watching patrons playing roulette, poker and keno. Thought there must be a better life than the one he's now living. Wasted time is never forgiving. So he packed his bags left the Gold Coast. Leaving behind the things he loved and hated most. But now he has no regrets. He just has a life lived, an adventure had. Much better than staying stagnant, in a rut lost and sad. Just doing the everyday things over and over again. Same routine, same friends. Wondering if a more fun time could have been yours. Fighting a lost cause. Go take some chances, open some new doors like... Adam Lucas Humfrees.

YOU WITH ME. You can cover your tracks but you can't cover your pain. I can see you have been crying in the rain. I can't help but notice the sorrow in your eyes. But it really doesn't come as much of a surprize. Cause what is really meant to be, is you with me. I don't know where I want to go. But one day I will find a way to your heart. Your heart you keep guarded like a fort. Not letting anyone in. Not feeling any love of any sort. But one day I will find the key, to the door. You will find what you are really looking for... my love.

D.C. Laughter of insanity. Laughter of madness. Drug crazed trying to hide from the eternal sadness, of reality and life itself. Storing the real you like an old holy book on a shelf. Behind a locked door. In a borrowed shell like a hermit crab. Line of coke. Bad joke! Haze of smoke. A little secret world in a little tab. Picking at your brain like a never healing scab. Playing with fire till all flesh does singe. Friend in a bottle. Escape in a syringe. One last time, one last binge. Leaving it all behind. But no answer can you find, on either side. The real problem is, you see the way things really are.

Sweet interruptions.

Where was I before I was sweetly interrupted? What was I about to say before the thought of you entered my head? I guess it wasn't that important. And some other voyeuristic vocalist has already said everything I meant to say. Anyway words won't pay my fare, nor will they steal your soul. I was likely talking about some insignificant conversational subject matter. But now, right before me is something I could find very interesting. Who are you? I see, you like to keep people guessing. Good idea. Why let too much out? Keep the secrecy and mystery going. Stop their thoughts from flowing cause they sometimes drown in their own self importance. Crack their faces of stone. The faintest smile, for a short while, then back to where they left off. Where was I before I was sweetly interrupted?

Where Do Angels Go? Where do angel go when the heavens fall? Who will answer your call? We are on the verge of a forever changing world? On the edge of extinction are faith and innocence of every child. I have lost my faith in gods and men. I now pray that I have reason to one day trust in them again. Things are ever changing but not always for the better. When these patches wear out, what will hold it all together? Where do angel go when the heavens fall?

M.S.H. My spirit high wants to touch the far corner of the northern sky. My spirit high wants to glide on the desert wind like a majestic predatory bird. I need to speak to the sea and understand it's every word. My spirit wishes to eclipse the moon. It needs to taste the sun. My spirit would like to kiss the rain in a way that has been done by no other one. I can't carry on much further, the way I have done so far. Unless I can catch hope's brief shining star. My spirit wants to be miles away from the troubles down below. My spirit needs a higher plan in which to go. My spirit has to refind it's heart and it's soul. My spirit. My spirit high.

Dream Catcher. Dream catcher catch me a dream. I wish to know everything my dreams mean. Dream spider spin your web deep inside my head. Tell me all that my dreams have said. Dream maker make me a dream that will show me which road in life to take. Dream painter make my dreams a work of art. May my dreams guide my steps and lead my heart. Dream fairies come, enter my mind and with my thoughts do play. Dream catcher catch me a dream. I need to know where to go, when my dreams take my soul away.

Memphis Madness. Posters, bottles of soda, records, coaster. Presley impersonators. Elvis look alikes. The kings favourite foods. When will Playgirl print the long lost Presley nudes?

Book after book each a different version of... "THE REALITY". Some speaking only of his weaknesses. Others saying what a great guy he happened to be. Memphis Madness. The mystery of his, death or after life. Drugged, shot, abducted by aliens or knifed? Or he may be was sick of fame and wanted to be left alone. I guess the only way to be sure is to do a D.N.A. test on the bone. Then again science is far from fail safe. I won't say he was the greatest rocker of all time cause that's a matter of opinion. There are some song of his I really like and others I abhor. No matter what else he will always be a legend forever more. Another victim of the fame market war. And like the echo of a long gone song bird we are still hearing the ring of his call. Memphis Madness.

Self Reliant.

There's bad times ahead. But like I said, "Keep on fighting until you're dead." Hard days to come but you're not the only one with things lean. Living from now on will be the harder than it's ever been. You need to self reliant. Strong, defiant. All you really need is your self. Nothing and no one, else. You step carefully on each stepping stone but in the end you're still alone. You can't keep following other peoples' footsteps. You walk some one else's stride. Find your own way and go down that path with pride. You've got to make your own mind up. Stop tagging behind like a little playful pup. You've got to find your own road. You must carry your own load. It's good to look and learn from another's success and failure. But if you aren't true to YOU. Time and truth will show you up and nail Ya. Be self reliant. Strong, defiant. All you really need is your self. Nothing and no one, else.

That Special Year.

Another year passes,

Another year rolls by.

Another year we do our best,

Another year we give our dreams a try.

But one year, that special year we see that we can fly.

And life's horizons reach beyond the star studded sky.

May this new year,

Be the year that all your hopes and aspirations come true.

May this year be that special year for you.

S.H.S.

What about my soul, heart and spirit? Money isn't all I need. It'll get me a place to sleep, and a feed. My very being cries out for more. If you're quiet you may hear it. What about my soul, heart and spirit? We all need nutrition for the body, soul and intellect. But when one is without the others, all will be defect. There is a thing or two in life we don't understand. But we should not deny or fear it. What about my soul, heart and spirit? There's more to life than the physical and the eye seen. You also have the hope, the magic and the dream. This that has no real explanation. But that intrigues and entices us to make more exploration of such things. Even though no more answers does our searching bring. A question with no reply. Can't comprehend yet can't deny. The mystery does not take away it's merit. What about my soul, heart and spirit?

K.R.

There was this girl from New Zealand I knew. I liked her and if you ever got to know her, you would like her too. She came from over the Tasman. She was in love with a Jazzman. She always seemed to be with her friend, Jewels. They both were really cool. I never told her how I really felt. But whenever I was near her. Like ice in the sun. My frown started to melt. She got around on a little red Honda. Kiwi Ronda. Where did she go? Where is she? I don't know. She may B still in Oz. Or may B back in the land of the long white cloud. Sometimes when I thought I saw her disappearing in the crowd. I would call out her name. It wasn't her. Or I hadn't called out with enough loudness. Where is she? Is anyone's guess. We worked together with Peter, John, Mary & Paul. In a Come & Take Us Away food stall on the Q Street Mall. We used to argue a lot. About the way to chop the vegies and when one or the other overcooked the spuds or burnt the pot. We never seemed to be able to agree. Is that proof that it is meant to be the way now happens to be? We went our separate ways promising to keep in touch and stay each other's friend. But like all my distant relationships it came to an end. Kiwi Ronda. I would love to get to know her again. And even be her boyfriend. She taught me things I would have never otherwise learnt. Like how to read people's eyes. She left her mark in my heart. The frying pan of my soul she has irreversibly burnt. Kiwi Ronda.

S.I.T.S

Reminders of an uncomfortable past.

A familiar stranger wearing an intriguing mask.

Seeing things that are not really there.

Just mirages of your stare.

Scaring your self, unable to sleep.

Every movement, every noise awake it does keep you.

Harmless silhouettes transform into strange creatures of fear. The spookiness of the darkness of the night.

Feeling unprotected by the absence of light.

Unable to see things clearly.

Dare not go into the net of night,

the curtain of the uncertain.

Wondering what is beyond the photoscenic lines.

In fascination your mind entwines.

But still you stand still under...

the illumination of the street lamp.

Too afraid to find out who makes the shapes in the shadows. Who fights paranoia's battles and wins?

The shapes in the shadows.

Shadows Of The Darkened Heart.

Hidden in the valley of lightlessness.

Are feelings you dare not speak of.

Clothes cover your heart ache scars.

In a mind void of love.

Thoughts of destroying, those who destroyed you completely.

Wondering...

Will this vengefulness ever set the soul free?

You once loved only one and all whatever they did do.

Now you hate the world.

The way the world hates me & you.

You have learnt pain and wish to teach someone it in return.

Like a wheel of destiny we all get our turn...

Our turn to live our nightmares through.

But what makes one better over another is how we work it out.

And if we remain true...

True to ourselves.

True to our dreams.

Remember what it means...

To be human?

To rise above our instinct of flight\fight.

And stand our ground for what we know is right.

We hide many times behind the shadows of the darkened heart.

Evil part of our nature.

The bad, worn side of our coin.

The black side of our soul.

Like flesh scorched over white hot coals.

Letting greed & lust take control.

Out of control.

Out of strength.

Stretching everything to the maximum length.

Lengthening the time you're feeling awful.

Upset with the entire system that...

Holds you down.

That breaks your heart.

Shadows of the darkened heart.

T.T.G. The time has come to go. The time has come to leave. The time has come to get what I really need. Now is the time to realise that I have done too much for other people and not enough for me. No use standing still. No use playing the game of time kill. When I've got so much to do. Time to go.

JUST DO IT.

Just do it, just do it now. While you've got the energy. And

the power. We all can make excuses not to give it a go. But then when we decide to give it a try. We've grown old and we're soon to die. You can count every nickel and dime. Save your money and save up your time. Play it safe with nothing to show? Sit on your T.V. chair with no where to go? I don't think so! No better time than... this... very second... very minute... very hour. Just do it now

Superficial Sanity.

Your mind is full of crazy ideas.

Your heart is surrounded by farcical fears.

But you are the same as all your peers.

Superficial Sanity.

We are lying to ourselves and humanity.

Pretending we are sane.

But we are caught up in a war of the brain.

Trying to not show the mad & crazy side of ourself.

"We mustn't let go."

But it must be bad for our mental health,

If we don't release the pressure.

We will eventually crack.

And the weight of this world will break our...

Already aching back.

Why hide the way you feel?

Better to be a little insane than totally unreal.

Don't fear what anyone might think.

Before the chain does fall apart completely.

You might find the missing link.

The link between being a bit wild and true peace of mind.

The middle ground we don't seem to be able to find.

We are either in a state of stunned unconsciousness or a... Hyperactive high.

We either have our heads in the shifting sand or in the...

Clouds of a stormy sky.

We must discover...

Where we are and why.

Superficial Sanity.

Don't Care... As Long As...

I've got nothing special planned.

Just falling to see where I will land.

I'm open to suggestion.

Got any ideas?

I've got no real agenda.

My heart is up for tender.

Don't care where I end.

As long as I'm with a friend.

I don't care where we go and when we arrive.

As long as we enjoy the drive.

I don't care how I get to my destination.

As long as it was worth the anxiety of anticipation.

The night isn't mapped out.

I don't care if I go home or just hang about.

Don't mind being alone or part of a crowd.

I don't care if the night is a quiet one or if it is a rage...

And very loud.

I've got nothing special planned.

EERIE

You've give me a shiver up & down my spine.

Cause you're so weird yet you're so divine.

You're impossible to define.

Your eyes have an evil look to them.

Your smile has a peculiar incline.

You give me the creeps.

Fear over comes me like the wind sweeps...

The side of a mountain.

You make me feel as if you've got me for keeps.

You dance to the rhythm of the moon while the world sleeps.

I'm filled with fascination and fear.

I often wonder...

What am I doing here?

Sometimes the price of love is so dear.

To you I'm only just another souvenir

You're so strange.

You're so eerie.

Your change of mood makes me weary.

One minute you're crying, the next you're cheery.

I talk but you don't even hear me.

Your mad laughter freezes my blood.

I try to swim away from this...

Can Never Be Sea

I drown in your eyes.

Brown like a potter's mud.

You are starting to shape me into a cup of bad luck.

With your hands you draw out of me, my every value.

Throwing them aside until I become like you.

And my friend say the same thing about me...

As I now say about your ways too.

You're so strange.

You're so eerie.

P.O.T.

The power of touch.

Sometimes gets too much.

All defences it can crush.

Touch my heart.

Touch my soul.

Touch my body.

Here I go.

And I lose control.

It send shivers of pleasure,

Down this back of mine.

Makes me put every thing on the line.

The power of touch.

Is your and my power.

At hand any moment, any hour.

U can touch me without moving a limb.

I'd do what ever you say.

I'd foolishly follow your every whim.

I can't help but give in.

To your power...

The power of touch.

Wild geese heading south for the winter. To warmer places.

I will join them.

Street kids beg for food.

On a lonely corner of an affluent city.

Stray dogs fight over scraps.

While children fight over their toys.

Men fight over women and territory.

No wonder we have wars.

If only we could learn to share.

If only we could learn to care,

for other's needs as well as our's.

Impatient puppies pull on their mother's ears.

To get her to play with them.

The frogs jump from one lily pad to another.

To keep away from the hungry fish.

Dolphins gracefully dance on the waves ahead of the boat heading seaward.

You Are? You are like hour glass sand. As you run through my fingers and hand. You are so fine. You disappear in the wind like a storm swept sandcastle. You are washed away in the waves. One second you are in my arms the next you are no where to be found. With the passing of time, you slip free from my grip. Spilling from the cup of love I sip. You dissolve into the paint work like evaporating water droplets. Sliding back into the ocean like a mermaidian dream.

Video Zombees. Just enslaved to technology. I can be what I want to be. Go hero set them. Kill all the enemy. Only stop for lunch and tea. I'm a video zombee. There's a buzz in my head. Am I dead? Never exercise. Never read. T.V. dinners are how I feed. I watch and play until my eyes bleed. Cause I'm a video zombee. Give me games, videos, soapies, News, talk back shows. Long as it's on the square box. I will play. I will watch. I do no chores. T.V. and video is my life. Cause...

I am a video zombee. Play all day. Watch all night. Try to stop me I will put up a real fight. Addicted to useless entertainment. This is how my life is spent. Never stop. Never sleep. I'm very deep. Virtual realities. Take away personal contact and sincerities. Don't bother me please. I am a ...

Video Zombee.

N.T.L.B.

In the end. He has no friends... except the ones he creates in his mind. At least he has none to leave behind. The mystery of the lone man. Can't love any one even if he can, bring his to like them. Talks to many strangers, hoping that he doesn't meet them again. Love leaves him feeling empty. When it comes to be no more. His heart closes up on him like a sprung trap door. Leaving him caught within the pain. To save himself from such a fate. He never lets himself fall in love. Afraid of being covered by the sky above. In fear of any kind of attachment. Hiding behind distance's tent. Never sure of what he himself said or meant. He has no friends... except the ones he creates in his mind. At least he has none to leave behind.

U.T.

She is the undertow. Taking me down below. I'm caught up in her tidal flow. Where I will surface? I don't know. Things I've never seen before, me now she does show. Dragging me over the treacherous beautiful but sad black coral of pain. She is tearing at me again. Pulling me out to sea. Drowning my heart but saving my soul. With her I swim into waters, alone I dare not go. Revealing to me, where her aquatic garden does grow. I'm on a higher high, a lower low. Will I drown in this wide and deep ocean of emotion? Will I be washed ashore. I've never been in this predicament before. Struggling to stay afloat. I'm using my mental strength as a boat. Holding tight to each precious breath of air. She's shown me what are the things I most of all, care for. Putting a new spark of life into my blood. Transforming when the moon is full and the tide is in flood. Saturating me in her love. Finding it hard to keep my head above water. As I'm submerged by her rushing torrent stream. I'm captured in a mermaidian dream. To fight her would only make things worse. So I just let myself in her liquid lusciousness, be immersed. Together we begin to merge. As I start to sink within her surge, of calm and stormy seas. Sinking like a lead weight. Will I come up again before it's too late. I see myself fall away. By an engulfing energy. On dry land I wish to stay. But she has a hold on me. She is the undertow.

Rocket Everyone.

At a party the other night. A real rage, booze, girls, flashing lights. There was a little space man. Silver suit and laser gun in hand. At first all he did was talk to the lamp stand. Then he saw the guitar in Joshua's room. Tuned it up then let a cosmic boom. It was a hot little tune. He said he heard it played on the platinum moon. Then sang, "Rocket everyone. Time to blast off to the planet of fun. Everyone get the floor. Do the... the Jupiter jump and the Pluto crawl. Now the martian bleep and the saturn love call. Rocket everyone. Time to blast off to the planet of fun. Come on, set the floor alight. It's the launching pad of love, tonight. Do the meteor fall and the shooting star. Just remember where you are. Come on. Rocket everyone. Blast off to the planet of fun.

N.L.T.S. Nothing left to say. No more word games to play. The silence of the spoken word. Already many times heard speeches of the heart. Songs of the soul. Ideas shared, borrowed and stole. For reasons unexplained and untold. In search of the something new and an adequate noise. A sound to fill the void. But there's nothing left to say. Nothing that hasn't been said before. So why say it once more? When words don't give you what you are looking for. Not a single noun, verb, pronoun or adjective. That can speak of the experiences of the life we live. And explain the feelings that leave our hearts sorrow stained. Sometimes things we have spoke come back to hang us... like a noosed rope. No remaining noise that can over power the blankness of babble. In poetry and prose we all dabble. Trying to fix our sights on something better. Syllables, consonants and vowels in song, in story or in a letter now seem a waste of time. When nothing can tell of the thoughts of one's mind. Nothing left to say.

IN.TEN.CITY

Your eyes are so intense.

But they're like a barbed wire fence.

My heart like my fingers bleed,

Every time I try to get what I need.

I'm encircled by your stare.

Captivated by your look.

But you don't care.

How you torture me,

With your IN TEN CITY.

Just here to stay.

No getting free.

I'm caught up in your IN TEN CITY.

I try to escape.

But that might be my first mistake I make.

You've built around my heart a fortified compound.

I guess as your prisoner of love, is how I will be found.

From the moment I glanced into your eyes...

I lost the battle and started to lose ground.

I tried...

I tried so hard...

To walk away but all the doors are locked and barred.

Recently, in all my dreams, you have starred.

Just want a little space......................................

Just want to leave you and this place.

I do all I can.

But now I'm only half a gram of a man.

The rest of me is a nervous wreck.

You have stole every heart in my deck.

I never thought love would be so full on.

But I was wrong.

How I was wrong!

All the time I'm at the point of...

Ready to crack.

Start to leave but...

Before I'm gone, I'm on my way back.

Never knew eyes to be so hypnotic.

Never known a smile that was so erotic.

Never seen a girl so neurotic.

Never felt such a narcotic love, ever before.

I wish I could leave you forever more.

M.D. I think I have fallen in love with her You know the 1 i met at that party a week a go or so. ofcourse nothing will come of it... Rarely does. Nothing lastly happy anyway. But hope I can have her as my friend forever. She has something about her that I can't put words to, is it her magic, Is it her mystery, Is it something in her that reminds me of a past girl friend. I don't care as long as the friendship lasts and no harm comes of it. There's a doubt of something though. Most likely just an insecurity on my part. I'm glad I've resisted the temptation to make it with her. Not that she would mind,

not initially anyway. But love has a bitter after taste. After the passion has died. And you come back down to earth. I don't think I've cared this much for a stranger before, even though I think I may know as much about her as a person and a thinker as some of her good friends. I not quite sure if I am friend to her or just an entertainment piece. I guess that is the problem with being so openly artistic. what do I want out'f it all any way. People to love me for who I am as a person, Or to love me as poet. Or not to love me at all. Or Just love my poetry.?????????????????? Question upon Question unanswered.

Or Is silence the answer to every question. I don't know, I don't care. What mob of crap better leave it at that. Bye my only true friend, who would listen 2 such utter rubbish? There I go again never finishing off where i first intended to. Only you could put up withe me miss spell'gs personal abrev. and my messy H.W.'g I guess with out ya I'd be the mess not me writ'g so thanx heeps for your patiently lisining to me... My Diary.

The World. The world is my friend. The world is my enemy. The world is enslaved. The world is free. The stars are no longer shining as bright as they once did. The waves no more wash upon the golden shore. The world and my mind are at war. Questions that there are no answers for. The wind becomes a tempest. All hope and faith I now lay down to rest. The mountains fall into the ocean. All that remain of the great water ways are dry river beds. Mixed emotions flooding people's heads. The clouds form a everlasting curtain. Covering the sun. No fun for anyone. The black ravine rain washes the colours out of the rainbows, the sunrise and sunset. And the once clear blue skies. Every one is both foolish and wise. Rose coloured snow melts. To make the white clay into red mud. As moment's memorial of the spilt blood. The planets realign to remind us that we are wasting precious time. The sand melts and becomes a desert of broken glass. Everything cuts. Every one bleeds. Nothing does last. All things come to pass. The trees swist out of shape. There is no escape, no matter how you try to fit in. Or how much you stretch and bend. This is the world. As it really is.
S.G.B. I want a sweeter good bye. Don't need your lying alibis. I get high on the tears I cry. Like a strange sugary paste. Our has a bitter after taste. Don't say that it's all over. Don't say it all must come to an end. Cause I still want to be a true friend. We might not make good lovers. We might need a little more personal space. But please never say good bye forever. Cause when we are together we put a smile on each other's face. Why burn your bridges when you might want cross this river another time. And if you ever need something feel free to take all of mine. And if you ever want to return. And if you ever change your mind. I'll pretend I'm deaf and didn't hear what you said. I'll forget how you treated me. Like they say "Love is foolish and blind." But why say something now, you will regret later. I don't know what to do with out you. But I will care for sure, if I could know that I will see you once more. You say, you never again want to see me. But that's not how to set my heart free. Cause here for you, I will always be. I want a sweeter good bye.

H.M.

I like it heavy.

Heavy Metal.

I like the way the guitar groans like captive.

I like how the drums pound like the heart of the over active. I like it loud.

I like it mean.

I love the way they jump, yell and scream.

It's like they're a lost tribe of cannibals.

They act like wild animals.

I like it heavy. Heavy Metal.

I'm overjoyed with the way they sing out of tune.

And off key.

One day it could be you & me.

On the stage behind a steel cage.

Interview page after page.

Legends in your own...

Age.

I like it heavy.

Heavy Metal.

I can't be any happier with the way they wear their hair.

And the way they just don't care.

It's a must to bang your head.

To play it so loud your ears bled.

I like fast. So put your foot hard on pedal.

I like it heavy.

Heavy Metal.

I like the music.

I like the words.

I love their tattoos and their birds.

I like their lacking sense of fashion.

And how they sing with such passion.

I like their big muscly bikes.

Everything about head bangers and metal heads I like.

I like it heavy.

Heavy Metal.

The moon is blood red. Your tears are black as tar. And our dream are the only way to tell where we are. Answers in the subconscious.

Soulution. We must find a soulution to the pollution. If we don't mother nature will have retribution. When we die out. Industrialists sleep in their beds of toxin prostitution. Waiting for the world to die from excretion's execution. Our brains fried via electrocution. Polluting the earth with our waste and blood shed by our own hand. Destroying ourselves, our dreams and the land. Not one thing left to stand except the testimony of our mistakes and mishaps. The surviving generations praying that they don't have a relapse of this craziness. Of this greediness. Hoping that we don't bring our own end upon ourselves. We must find a soulution.

NO CHANGE.

No one's gonna change me.

And no one better try.

I am happy to be what I am.

I will leave you alone to do what you will.

I say we all should have our say.

The rules are different for each game we play.

The situation is unique to each individual.

Experience is life's best learning school.

What is fine for me might be stormy for you.

Everyone MUST decide for themselves...

What they are to do.

What they are to do with...

their time, their life, their money and their energies.

We all grow differently like trees.

Some bend and twist like wind swept trees on the beach.

Some grow straight and tall resisting all change,

defying all the elements.

Some stay close to the ground.

Keeping eyes opened to see and ears sharp to hear.

All movement and sound.

Some need the support of a cliff or a wall.

While others thrive on being alone...

in the most difficult situation.

But every one has their ideal environment and location.

I have found my place of peace.

So don't dig me up and try to relocate me.

Cause I am like ground cover...

always on the move and always free.

No one's gonna change me.

And no one better try.

I am happy to be what I am.

Even though I don't know what that is.

But I know this is my place and time, of growth.

But I don't know why.

I am happy to be what I am.
Mother Ship.

I want to be your mother ship.

Be the fuel you burn

and all the water and drink you sip.

Be your only contact with the outside world.

Be your place of trade...

for your catch of fish, prawns and the occasional pearl.

Dispose of your waste.

Give you all those foods you savour to taste.

I will be your tow you brake down and can't go.

Be your shelter in a stormy sea.

Whenever you need a thing come to me.

I want to be your mother ship.

I want to be your carrier of good news.

I want to give you all your supplies you use.

To be your life line.

Be there for you any and all the time.

I want to be your mother ship.

The poet's pain.

The desert of the soul.

The eclipse of sanity.

The reason the artist hurts...

is cause the seeing of the hurting reality.

That remains unseen by the majority.

The sting of the salt laden wind,

blowing against your wounds of war.

The beauty of sadness.

The prettiness of pain.

Only we, the blind can see.

Only we, the numb can feel.

Only we, the still can move.

Only we, the hated can love.

Only we, the lost can find.

Sometimes in life you need to go...

to the further extremities of the emotions of heart and mind. Stir the hive to seek the honey inside.

Tragic truths give your thoughts a hellish ride.

Looking for a way out.

When there is none.

The poet's pain.

Expressions of anger and anguish.

Never quite understood by the believing billions.

But the silence must be spoken.

The invisible must be seen.

Some one must tell of how it had "Never Been."

No one else may fully understand...

but they may still treasure what is said.

Like a diamond found in the sand.

But only the artist see the true colours of the rain.

Only the word smith feels the poet's pain.

Simplicity. I like it short and sweet, plain and to the point.

No trade lingo. No shop talk. Just easy to understand language. Nothing to hard for my mind to manage. Simplicity. No words torn out of a thesaurus. When we speak, don't ignore us just because we didn't go to university. One day you fall from your high brow tree. Nothing to complex. You're educated to put things out context. Make it impossible for the average Joe to know, what you are saying or doing. Over words you're stewing. Cooking up more rules of communication. When we can speak for our selves. No need for books filling shelves, collecting dust. Filling our heads with extra erroneous information. Most of the time it's better to learn for one's self than learn from some one else's experiences. Complicating the most uncomplex things. Special names for common nuts, bolts and springs. I say no to your confusing of reality. All I want is a little simplicity.

3J. Johny Jonathan Jones. Mark and Mary both want to rattle his bones. He's not hetro. He's not bi. He's not gay. He just isn't the type of guy who does play. He doesn't drink, take drugs or smokes. He's the butt of every one's jokes. He is really quite smart. He just plays his music and practices his art. He can tell you everything about countries to which he's never been. To go to these places, one day is his dream. He just sits talking to people at the local cafe. At first he may seem strange and weird. But if you take the time to get to know him, you'll find him interesting and till late, with him you'll stay. He lives in his own world, that he's eager to share. As he speaks with a happy complextion on his dial, into space he does stare. But never quite leaving this world yet. But giving you a glance of another world you will never forget. At galactic beer bottles some one is throwing glowing star stones. And his name is Johny Jonathan Jones.

Miss Print.

My life is a misprint of emotions.

My days are misspelt words of love.

My incorrectness in use of time and space.

Brings a mixed look of amusement and bewilderment,

Upon your face.

Mispronunciations of heart felt passionate inclinations.

Like lost letters of names of destinations,

At railway stations.

There is always something that is not there, that should be.

Will this editor's nightmare ever set me free?

You must know what I'm thinking to understand.

Nothing is communicated as planned.

A great idea.

A thought majestic and grand.

Gets lost in misunderstanding's desert like sand.

The volcanic scorching heat of criticism.

Creates a chasm.

Too deep and too wide to ever cross.

Due to my lack of skilful speak we both suffer loss.

We will never appreciate the other's opinion.

We will never agree to disagree.

When will this noisy silence set me free?

Miss Print, my lover and the daughter of an autistic reality.
S.J. Saxophone Joe plays the music of the soul. Play on. Play on. He breathes life into the tune. Serenades the stars. And his instrument sings to the moon. Once he starts to play people gather around him near and soon. Into the piece he adds a little bit of his heart. You feel it from the finish to start. Never before have you heard such a call, that haunt you to the core. It reminds you of the echoing feelings of love. An angel's voice from above. Above the street a sound so soulful sweet. Busking from the terrace of his lone apartment. Playing all night and day is how his life is spent. No other flat or shop around, so there's no complaints from any other resident. A well used foot high way. To hear Joe play people come from miles away. The faces full of smiles and feet taping for days. The solo symphony, bringing the memories of those special times. Enjoyment to spirits and minds. Play on. Play on. Saxophone Joe play on.

I sit here in contemplation and reflection. Wondering... Where would I be if I didn't give out so easily? If I wasn't the first to throw in the towel. If only I could last that final hour. Get so near to completion, yet give up so far from the end. I am my worst enemy and to self I am a false friend. Fight so long but never attain the goal. Leaving unfinished dreams of the heart. And unanswered questions of the soul. What would've happened if I stood my ground? What hidden treasures would I have found? What would have been the outcome if I kept fighting and won? But there is no uses in saying what if. Cause the past has little part in the future. The time has come to make the next defeat the last.

A mild summer saturday on the bank of the yarra river.

People strolling and running along the bitumen path beside

the opaque waters. As cyclists dodge over excited dogs going for their long awaited weekend walk. Mild winds blowing sparsely fallen acorn leaves about. Occasionally a tiny whorl wind picks up a weather piece of paper. Sending it spinning and landing on the aqua elements. Floating for a brief moment. Before it is sunk by a nine person row boat. The coach yelling at rowers over a mobile P.A. bow six, bring it round and other instructions. As ferries and water taxis cruise past. Children on board waving at the shore stuck pedestrians. Laughter and cheering echoes over the living liquid. The buzz of the sightless city traffic sounds almost rhythmic. As does the hum of an above small plane towing some advertisement behind itself. Bees and butterflies collect the sweetness from the clover in the high cut lawn. Seagulls and pigeons circle

a recently discarded pile of fish and chips. But an elegantly looking stray cat of indescribable colour. Gets the prize first. The sun shines intermittently through the gypsy like clouds. Travellers and locals alike take photos of this mannequinned nature. If only city life was always so peaceful and relaxed.

Chasing shadows where ever they go. Chasing shadows under the stars & the full moon. Chasing silhouettes under the summer sun at high noon. Am I chasing them or are they chasing me? Going where ever the shadows might be. Trying to catch them before into the darkness they disappear. Chasing them there, chasing them here. I'm really trying to chase away all my fear. Elongated shapes. Wishing to get a hold of one before into another it escapes. Shadows dance in the neon light. So many shadows tonight. My shadow on my left & my shadow on my right. Our shadows begin to fight. Shadows dissipate, shadows multiply. Shadows on the water. Shadows in the sky. The shadow of your smile. There's a shadow of doubt clouding your eyes. Shadows flash before me as a car passes by. Shadows might not hold the answers. At least the shadows don't ask why. In pursuit of an apparition. In pursuit of something like a dream. Looking for a scene that is never really seen. Catch sight of what's never been. You're like a shadow stop following me. I'm always chasing some useless thing. I'm always chasing stuff I never seem to get. When I do catch it what I want to me it does not bring. I look into my mirror & see the shadow of my heart & soul. Chasing shadows where ever they go.

A crowded stage. Attention's cage, steeling my mind. Is there any left remnant of the real act? Instead of the pretenders, lost message senders. Thought fenders, insanity tenders. To many leading roles. Ego maniacs of words. Myra's music bowls. Notes and cords blended to make sure no one is offended. Here is my life cord they try to disconnect. Is it right to fight to have all art politically correct? Must we agree about everything? Must the same song we all sing? Will we ever be free from the critic's vindictive sting.

N.N.T.H. Everyone sees different shapes in the clouds. Everybody cries when will I allowed to show and express what I feel deep inside? And when will there be a time of "No need to hide". We all have a need to show, what we know in our heart and soul, to be real. No use trying to cage our emotions in a shell of steel. Like the paintings in our mind, a way out we need to find. A way to draw upon the pain. So we don't feel that way again. A time to be whole and complete. No more time for lies and deceit. Even though they might not wish to be here. Speak loudly about your every hope and fear. Go on shed that held back tear. Because the year of "No need to hide" is near. Why do we always judge and criticise. When we see things only from the view of our own eyes. People should just let go of all the yeses and say no. No to this. No to that. Go on get your life back. People judge you by the way you speak, walk and dress. That's their prerogative I guess. But no one has the right to pull another down, just because they have differences and come from the "other side of town". We claim to be an open society. That's not what I see. See people uptight, afraid that someone might bite. Bite away at their chrysalis. And say to the world "Look at this". But what a shame it would be to miss the chance to expose the treasures hidden. Hidden like a lost art form. A skill, a dream, a part of you that has been there since you were born. Like chick stuck inside a shell. We're imprisoned by this calcium hell. Use your whole being like a beak, like an egg tooth. You're not weak. Only to yourself, of who you are, do you need to give proof. But out of fear of being afraid, you hide your real identity. But now is the time to come out into the open. The real you let everyone see. No need to hide. No need to hide what you feel inside.

A.L.F.S.N. I guess that's why I'm so attracted to you. Cause you're always looking for something new. When the weather's been fine for a while you want it to be stormy. When the sky has a long time grey, You want it back as blue. Never pleased with the every day. Always searching for different things to do and say. A little extra game to play. Always ready to modernize. Always got up your sleeve another surprize. A novel thing for the ears and eyes. You're the first to find something more. When you run out of obstacles you will build a wall. Only to climb it. What every is far ahead of you, soon you are no longer behind it. What ever is missing and hidden, before much time passes, you do find it. Fresh and happening you are. Just hear you discovered another new type of star. You keep well informed and up-to-date. That's why when you're near I feel great. Into a discussion something original you add. A thought no one else could of ever had. That is why with love, you drive me mad. Cause you're always looking for something new.

T.B. Sitting alone eating teddy bears, comforting my cares. My tongue cuddles and hugs the flavours of chocolate and honey. And I think of days a lot more brighter and sunnier than these. The dog sits sadly at my feet. Knowing that the picture is not complete. While the cat lazily lounges over knees. Too lost to play or tease. We all miss you. So forgive me for my stupidity and stubbiness. Return to us please.

I sit here.

Thinking how I'm wishing,

I wasn't so blue.

I try to think of everything else.

But I can't think of anything but you.

Walk to the beach hoping the waves can wash my mind free.

But it's caught in the rocks of your memory.

I'm drowning in sorrow's deep black sea...

with a strong undercurrent of misery.

The more I drink,

the more your image flashes before my mind.

How I wish my memory was blind.

I crave for this craziness to leave me behind.

I'm sure I don't love you any more.

So why are you still in there for?

To taunt me, to make me pay,

for sending and driving you away.

I would really like to know,

why can't I let you go?

I spent all my dreams on you. And none of them did come true. I've searched the earth below and the sky heaven above. In search of love.

I.F.Y.P. I feel your pain. I know every thought you are thinking in your brain. It hurts me to watch you hurt like you do. Like a torture soul. Like a disturbed mind. No shelter and way free can you find. You can't let go of the past. How much longer will this reliving last. Everytime you close your eyes to sleep. You're dragged down deep below the surface. Feeling claustrophobic in an open field. What night mares do your bad dreams yield. Like a little boat lost at sea. Washed here and there by waves of people who don't care what happen to you. If I could only heal you of your broken heart. Put back together all that was yours, that has been torn apart. Sew up your ripped nets of faith. Faith in love. Faith in your fellow. You are afraid to ever follow your feelings. How long will it be till your heart is finished it's healing? Will there be a day when one will be stealing your treasures, only to throw them away. Wasted! So much love wasted on those who don't love in return. I have experienced the same experiences you have had. I have felt just as bad as you feel now. But believe me, you will get over it some how. But until you can laugh and smile again. I feel your pain. Tears race down your face to fill the bucket of sorrow. You can't see a future in tomorrow. You can't see a road to take out of this place situation. Pining for the realisation of your dreams. Will you ever be some where better? Will you ever be able to walk away unscarred. Unable to know what you really need. But you know you don't need what you want. Always taking second best cause it the first to come your way. A fool's game you play. Will you ever win? In a self made spiral vortex you spin. If only you had tougher skin. But you are easily cut. I once was the same. I feel your pain...

W.D.I.S.

Where do I start?

Maybe I should try working why it has all come to an end.

I try to express what is in my heart.

But I finish by saying what you want to hear.

Must I always be some one else's mouth piece?

No longer will my soul be on lease.

Is there a difference between being silent,

and speaking what others wish you to?

Mute in muppetry.

A stranger's hand up my back.

Who's pulling my strings, among other things?

Turning my face in the other direction.

So that I don't see the unmentionable, the upsetting. Pretending it's just perfect.

Take it as it is, not as you wish it to be, they say.

But in the end who pays the price of our debts?

And who collects the money owed?

Where is the end of GoingNowhere Road?

PROBABLY.

Probably I don't know you.

Probably I never will.

The secrets that I told you,

probably will get us all killed.

I probably trust strangers a little too much.

My heart probably is too eager to be touched.

In the morning I heard angels singing.

I wasn't sure if I was dead.

But something told me not to stay there listening.

But to get up and sing along instead.

I really probably am just a...

reflection of a retrospective reason.

A last chance to escape this ever lasting season.

You probably don't know me.

You probably never will.

My heart's life force and it's fluid you try to distill.

I'm probably not able to give you all you want.

How can I when I can't give myself what I need?

Probably this poem is a waste of time to read.

Will I read it again?

Probably.

DAMNED. Damned if I do. Damned if I don't. They will kill me if I will. And I will die if I won't. I've been warned to be silent. And I'm beaten cause I won't say. It is a losing battle either way. Don't want to live. Don't want to die. Don't want to laugh. Don't want to cry. I just wish I could sleep past this pain. But I'll still have to wake up again. I see the stars of our lies. I swear they are the devil's eyes. Staring at me. I don't want to sink. I don't want to swim. Don't want to lose. Yet I don't want to win. I have no wish to be naive yet I don't want to know. Don't want to stay. Don't want to go. Every road is a dead end. There are always more problems around the bend. Here I am in another no win situation. Caught without a ticket, at the railway station. Didn't have the money to purchase the fare. But if I didn't get to work today, I didn't get paid. Trouble is the only thing in my life, already made. I shouldn't have got up in the morning. I shouldn't really worry or care. Cause bad luck is always sitting on my front door step, waiting for me there. With me getting out bed it just doesn't pay. So instead, tomorrow within my dreams and slumber I will stay.

One word follows another. Dancing from thought to page. Then from page to thought. Spiralling in creative ballet of spoken and silently read ideas and visions. Each person consuming the constructed language. Tasting the flavours of imagination. The palate of pleasing pronunciation and the individual expression of emotional feeling. Seeing something that we have in common with everyone else. The need to show what we feel. Don't suppress it, just express it. What ever is on your mind and in your heart.

Questioning everything including the need to question. What is an answer? Something we feel we need, to stop the questioning.

I am happy not knowing the when, where, why, who or how. I am here and now. I don't care what happens to me after I leave this life. I don't harm no other so If? there is something out there I am confident that THE will treat me the way I have treated others. And if there isn't anything but this life. I will live it the best I can, making use of every precious moment.

I could start this letter with your name but I've forgotten it. And dear question mark would be rather too informal. To whom it may concern would sound too formal. So I won't begin nor finish it. Likely won't even send it. If it does some how reach you, it will be by accident. May be my brother might see it in my draw and think it is meant to be sent. How ever this note does reach you, please note I didn't send. Who am I? I often ask that question of my self and I am still without an answer. Like the ancient echoing question of "We are we?"

In other words... Are we who we say we are? The address on the back of the envelope, that this has come in, will always be a way of contacting me. Just address it to The Questioner if you do reply. Which is very unlikely. Seeing that this is more likely to sit in the bottom of the draw, collecting time and yellowing with age. What a waste of word and work. Like every thing else in my life, a waste. A waste land of whatever. Whatever I put my hand to doing failed. Everything's a failure but this note if you are now reading it. You still don't remember me, do you? I am the one who told you, to keep living just inspite of everyone and everything. Well there is a second success of mine. If you are reading this, that means that you are still "Living inspite of everyone and everything". Why has this reached you, you may ask. Well it is one of the few things with which I haven't tried too hard to achieve. I'm no good at good byes you might recall. So this is all I need to get off my chest, for now.

Nicole said she's leaving me, to live with him. I replied that's cool and gave a grin. What I really should have said. Was "I'll howl at the moon till it turns red, with my anger. Cry with stars untill into my hand they fall. Then I will carry them to her door. And scatter them on his floor. To remind them that like the celestials "Our Love" doesn't shine anymore. I wish to swallow the oceanic sea. To show the world that the waters of "Our Love" have dried up. Nothing's left not even half a cup. It is all so dry. My heart is too painful to cry. I want to paint the sky a grim grey. In a way to say, the fine weather of "Our Love" has had it's final day. Change all rainbows to spiral green. Cause they have stole all the colour from my every dream. Draw a frown out in space. Due to "Our Love" losing it's smiling face. Give the honey bee a reusable sting. For the sweet has ended in, being the most painfullest thing. Love is the most painfullest thing. Nicole asked if there was a little jealousy. Not me, I said, not I. I am can't be jealous cause I'm too much of a nice guy.

C.T.D.S. In your hand I'm a crash test dummy syndrome. Every thing's broken. My every organ and my every bone crushed with the grind of time spent with you. The pain of your company. But still I let you stay near me. A love of self destruction? And a hate and fear of being alone? Agony is my little pulp heart's home. Lies hurt more than any sticks and stones. And you lie more than you breathe. I've held my very breath waiting for you to change. I come up grasping for air, some fresh air. Something new from this old banging my head against the wall routine. Winded by wasted love, unreturned. You are unresponsive to any attention to you, I give. Silence fills the wall of this room. Waiting in painful expectation of the collision of our clashing personalities. Unable to face the other's realities. Tick, tick. Screech. Crunch. Crash. KABOOM.

A FOUR. A4 fool's cap page, empty, yet full of ideas yet unrecorded. Plans for the end of the world unfortunately aborted. Words off to silence secretly escorted. Millions defrauded. Blue prints of military hardware. A note to tell the world to get ... and to say goodbye, and where I go now I don't care. Notes scrawled, of junky's high. Letters coded red, sounds alive, looks dead. Weird concepts, explanations of how it all connects. An old thought in a new context. Equations, difficult situations, evolutions, creations. Minds muddled, people insane by choice. An echo of a long gone voice. A script of an unaccredited movie. Does all of this lose you? It just lost me. Directions to a hide away. A sentence you can't bring yourself to vocally say. A Shakespearian play. Deceptive way to betray. A letter to an old friend now far away, some where else. A diary entry recorded soully for yourself. A list of things you wish to one day soon take off life's shelf. A job application for job you don't want. A love poem to that person you will never get to love. A pray to the divine one if there is one, some where above. A song of happiness. This A4 fool's cap page, empty, could be any of the above I guess. Or maybe just another frustrated screwed up mess. Oh forget it, I'm too tired, too confused to write now anyway.

A HEAVENLY DREAM. There's angel sleeping near me, only feet away. Will heaven disappear when she awakes? The beauty of her, into my soul, my eyes take. The horizon is bright. I see a found light. Mountains answer the sea. The sea does question me. Why do I always let the angelic fly away, before i have said what I want to really say? When will I forget fear and realise what I want is really here? The stars laugh at my shy, standbackishness. But it will change, or I will. One day soon I will stop standing still. I'll take all I need for my heart and soul to fill. But now I am reluctant to move, of course like this nothing shall improve. There's angel sleeping near me, only feet away. "Will heaven disappear when she awakes?" Is all I can say.

B.D. My mind was in reverse as my car I did forward park. I wondered if I should remove from the front tyre the obvious chalk mark. I got back to my vehicle just after seeing My ill mother, a band that played regularly at the pub around from the hospital. I pulled off the windscreen, my three $100 dollar each traffic fines. I could see no, No invalid parking signs or the yellow lines. I put them in the boot full of other legal paper work. Get round to doing something with it all one day. When I do I'll need two lawyers, an accountant and one clerk. Drove around to a friend's place, was never really there cause he was always either on another planet, out in orbit or off his face. He told me the end was ni, he saw this movie before, but this time everyone will die. He let out a laugh then broke down to cry. I dare not ask why. He had lost his stash and asked me for a little cash. I gave him my next two weeks rent. My whole life was borrowed, so I always lent. I could use my tarp as a tent. I left him and wished him well. He said he would pay me back tomorrow. I whispered to my self like hell. I went home to find the final eviction notice tacked to the door. I wondered, why do I try anymore? What can I do? What can I say? This is one of my better days.

BARON OF WEIRD. Never do the expected. Never do what any else would. Why should you? The baron of weird, peculiarity is his speciality. Showing the world a different side of reality. Always playing with concepts yet unconceived. Always looking for beliefs yet unbelieved. Disappointment in the main stream,

leaving behind the everyday dream, of having a good job and a family. He will tell you that's just not for me. Lives on the streets as a matter of choice. Yells and screams so that the world will hear his voice. Outrageous dress, and out landish ways, I hate your conventional things is what he does say. Some find him scary, some find him a laugh, but few see his warning of unacceptance's aftermath. A world of uncontrollable rebellion. Revolution and counter revolution, no soulution for the problem of rights and freedom. Never shared, never ever. People fragmenting, nations become Republics, division of families and friends, for no worth, no means, no ends. Just as we feared no peace, no unity, why? Because we didn't see that there is no weird. The baron of weird.

EXCESSIVE EQUATION.

One and one equal many more when I'm with you.

Spend time alone together,

is something we never seem to do.

You are always at a party or at friend's place.

With you I want some time and space.

Feel like I'm crowded in.

Try to talk to you,

but you're always conversing with someone else.

When I'm out with you,

I feel as I'm by my self.

I really enjoy your company.

But you're not much of that around company.

You're too interesting for others to leave us alone.

You're too interested in keeping up with the latest,

to know anything lately about us.

But if you want us to stay an item,

spend a moment me,

with out the crowd.

It's a must.

One and one, equal many more when I'm with you.

A THOUGHT PROVOKING QUESTION! What do you want from this fame thing? I thought that you said you just wanted to sing. Just sing your song. But what's next now that every one is singing along? To stay up on the chart, will you do anything? Or will you retrade pop for art? Will you forget your dream, you had at the start? Will you become another vulture of vulgarity? Just to keep that popularity? Will you sell your soul virtually free, to get that EMI? Will you take the words and water them down? Will you forget your country of origin and your birth town? What has a price more than the money? What has caused you to eat much more than what you need to just sustain you and fill your tummy? Has greed got a hold of you too? I guess then what they say is true. You have changed and not for the best. Now take the famous and influential as friends and forget the rest. Trying your hardest to forget your past, but that's what inspired you at the beginning. These lies just can't last. Who are you? Now you have transformed into somebody else. Trying to be everything and everyone but yourself. Is it worth the price. You better think... hard... twice. Is it worth the price?

R.I.I.

Am I reading into it things that are not there?

Is it just a look?

Or is it a special stare?

Is it just a smile or an invitation to stay a while?

I guess I might be too eager to fill the empty spaces.

To look beyond the every day expressions on stranger's faces. Lonely, searching for answers that don't exist.

Making a fool of myself, I can't resist doing so.

Taking roads down to places to which I shouldn't go. Misinterpreting messages, due to wishful thinking.

To make things worse is that I've been drinking all morning. Am I answering nothing's calling?

Am I reading into it things that are not there?
T.E.O.T.R.

Some like the high from exercise or having a run.

Others like the feeling,

you get from the heat of the midday sun.

But myself,

I rather the emotions I experience on a rainy day.

When I see the dark clouds build.

I hope and pray that this weather is here to stay.

The extacy of the rain.

The wind and water sting my eyes and skin.

The falling fluid washes away my pain.

Under a torrent down pour I drown my every war.

The cold showers of the midnight monsoon.

There's a rainbow circling the moon.

The water is flooding my mind's empty room.

Drip, drip, drip goes every drop.

May this a wash never stop.

Another drug free trip.

Into puddles I hop and skip.

This feeling is what I'm trying to get.

The rain is the only thing that gets me this wet.

The extacy of the rain.

Cleaning my face of the scars and stains...

SPONGE MAN.

Sponge man,

sucking up like a bottomless cup,

everything around.

Catching every drop of rain before it hits the ground.

Eating all the fruit on the tree,

not giving them time to ripen.

Your heavy attitude,

you need to lighten.

You're hungry for attention.

The hunger grows as you grow too big for your own good. Soaking up all ideas...

only to reshape them to support your argument.

You think you are God or at least ... sent.

Consuming all the room.

Taking up all the space.

A character of crash and burn charisma.

A disagreeable personality.

Only seeing your own reality.

Taking as a formality...

that you will always be the person you now happen to be. Sponge man.
A.M.

I don't know,

I don't.

I don't see,

I don't.

What is wrong?

What is wrong with me?

I am an alienated man.

I don't fit in where ever I am.

I wish I did find my place of call.

Then I can belong like them all.

Nothing do I have, in which to compare.

I do and say many things most others wouldn't dare.

Act a little crazy.

I'm plenty mad.

But it helps to cover that I'm really sad.

Sometimes it's best to hide the pain and tears,

when you have already been feeling and crying it for...

so many years.

What use is it when you express what you feel...

if it only makes you a mess?

I put the world on hold,

as I try to heal my steely cold, heart.

But it seems as if the healing will never start.

My thoughts try to escape the raw reality.

Why can't I face what there is to be?

What is wrong with me?

I am an alienated man.

SEWN UP. How many broken heart must I mend? Who made me the lonely's and lost's friend. I'm running out of needles and thread. How many more will tell me of the voices in their heads? How come I'm the one to repair the victims of lack of love and care? I'm the person who patches up life's wears And tears. The doctor of the heart and soul. But this healing everyone is taking it's toll on me. From this responsibility I want to be free. I like to help but I can't help when I hurt too much inside. I need somewhere from this pain to hide. I didn't volunteer to be here. How many broken hearts must I mend?

A TRAGIC COLLECTION. My main ability is acquiring tragedy. My skill is building up bills. My real calling is to stand up again to prepare for the next falling. I never get anywhere doesn't matter how hard I try. I can't reach the heavens no matter how high I fly. Always getting snared on things from which I'd like to be free. Too often my plans fail. Too much of my life is emotional junk mail. If my luck does change, the death of me will be the shock. Cause a bad destiny around my heart and soul is attached with an impregnable chain and lock. Given up on trying to go anywhere worthwhile. I've cut out and pasted on my face be strong, pretend nothing's wrong smile. But the edges are worn from frequent use. I've given up my body to now take all this self inflicted abuse. All the ropes holding me tighten as I try to shake loose. I tie my own noose. My main ability is acquiring tragedy.
UNINSPIRING.

You no longer inspire.

My creativity has retired.

You have dampened the fire.

You once were the main thing I wrote about.

But now you're the thing I could do best without.

You once were my sun and moon,

my stars and rain.

But now you are my inexpressible pain.

With thoughts of you words did jump from my mind,

once upon a time.

But now that you're no longer mine,

not a thing to say can I find.

I have become creatively blind.

My work has no reason or meaning,

I now leave it all behind.

Cos you no longer inspire me.

Let the silence say it all,

for me.

Let the unspoken reply speak of how it now happens to be.

You no longer inspire.

S.R. The scars reopen. Skin again broken, flesh torn and left bare. By another who doesn't care. Just when you think you are starting to heal. The hurt you again feel. But this time it's harder to deal, with. As wounds cut a second time, bring back past unpleasant memories. With the added sting of the new fresh flesh. Left to dry out in the cold air of the morning after. Gone is the extacy and the playful laughter of what you thought would last much longer. But the only thing that lasts is the self suffering that each time gets stronger and stronger. The scars reopen.

A WISH CLOSE TO THE HEART. I wish you were here with me, to share the beauty I now see. Many things are much better when you are there. I would rather you right here, than anywhere.

Somethings are too precious to miss. Like a magnificent sunrise, had together with a tender kiss. A landscape of breath takingness, a moment of quiet rest. Done as two, these are the best memories of my life. But alone, they remind me of how empty I feel away from you. But may our love soon prove true, and we meet again. How, I wish you were here with me, to share the beauty I now see.

THE BIG BANG THEORY II. Waiting for the big bang. Patiently watch for the signs of everything to go KABOOM in my face. Shaken by my self inflicted heart quakes. I really have enjoyed our relationship. But I'm sure soon some thing explosive will bring it, all to an end. And no longer will you be my lover or friend. You ask why am I such a pessimist. It's cause all I ever really held in my hand is the blood I've drawn with nails, as I clench my fist. So that is why I'm sure one day I will see the end of this. Bad Luck is all I seem to get from time. Miss Fortune is the real lover of mine. I hope that destiny's pendulum will find a new way to swing and hang. But while I live in faint hope, I still wait for the big bang.
OLDTIMER'S REVENGE. Yerha Granma, ride a falling star to places you wish you are, now. Age isn't going slow you down. You will still be the quickest walker, the fastest gun in this town, for a long time yet. Look out, outlaw if you get Nana upset. She'll give you a kick in the butt that you will never forget. She can crack that whip quicker than you can blink. Has twelve replies before you have a chance to think. She might be gray, she is still having her day. Ready and eager to prove she is here to stay. Don't get in her way. Don't get in her road. She will run you over, feral roadkill. Don't challenge this granny, or regret it, you will. Never going to retire. Never going to sit down watching T.V. soapies waiting to die, never ever still. Much younger than many of the numerical young. Always having a good time and plenty of fun. So ride them cowgirl. Yerha Granma, ride a falling star to places you wish you are, now.

W.C. You're a wild cat. You scratch my back for stress relief. When you kiss me on the neck, you leave behind the visual trace of your teeth. You draw blood, in the name of pleasure. In the name of love. Your eyes stare as if you don't care about anything. Freedom is your call card. No one can brake your heart, it's too steel hard. Fighting like a cornered beast. Fighting for your right to be you. Roaring with laughter as people dare tell you what to do. Purring in contentment as you get what you are looking for... Comfortable Love. Some one who won't try to cage you in, or try to make you `his'. Tamed? I don't think so. Fishing luck out of the wishing well, like goldfish in a pond caught with your claws. Letting go a yawn under the shaded trees, showing your teethed jaws. Licking your wounds of your cat fight wars. You're a wild cat. Me...ow...

A QUESTION OF LOVE.

Is it really love, or just another substitute for your drugs?

Is it any more than lust?

In the morning will my heart be crushed?

Is it just a joke, you are playing on me?

Or will the joke be on you, when I brake free?

Is it a convenient place to camp,

while it is raining in your heart?

Or do you plan to stick with it, this thing you did start?

Is it a road to follow until...

you find the highway you're looking for?

Is it a place you entered cause it had an open door?

A safe haven from a heart torn by war.

War of will and pride.

Here cause you have little left and none on your side.

An escape from the jaws of pain?

A side interest until you reach your main?

Is it really love?

O.O.N. It's amazing how words pop out of nowhere, demanding to be written down. How do feelings I thought nonexistent in my self, creep to the surface? With my poems I admit more about me and others, than I would or could any other way. Not mere babel, a tower of rubbish rambling. But substance, true meaning, expression of the unexplainable. Constructive deconstruction of conversation. The dancing of dialogue dazed by description. Words pop out of nowhere. Demanding to be written down.
MELINIE. Daughter of the sea. You have set my heart free. I have never felt so free before. You have washed me from sadness's lonely shore. You have carried my worries and fears out into the deep. Only since I've been near you, have I had a night of sound sleep. You have helped me leave behind the pain of a past, best forgotten. I'm sure I have found true love at last. I'm positive that this search of mine has come to an end. I was afraid that what I was looking for when found, would be a disappointment. But I'm glad that destiny, you, my way had sent. Melinie.

STARES. You don't know what you want, till it stares you in the face. You don't know what you need, till it stares you in the face. You're not sure of what you have, till it stares you in the face. That's why I'm here, hanging around this place. I am staring you in the face. What do I have to do, to convince and show you? That I am your everything, each and every day. I've tried more things I can imagine, to get your imagination thinking of what can be for you and your life. How much pleasure this man can bring. I will make your heart sing, take you to somewhere different, show you something new. Turn all the grey cloudy days back into fine weather blue. I don't want to big note me. But the only thing that is meant is be, is us together. You never realise what chances have passed by, until they stare you in the face.

OCEAN OF MEN.

Here she comes again,

swimming in the ocean of men.

She says she is drowning in your sea of lies.

I can see her floundering within your eyes.

You've got her...

heart in your hand,

ready to throw it over board.

Diving from a thousand feet up,

without a parachute or a ripcord.

Don't leave her there to sink.

You can't tell me,

that you will leave floating face down in the drink.

I don't love her,

well not that way.

I've got to say that it is...

murder...

of the heart and soul,

to leave her stranded there on that tidal shoal.

She will likely throw herself back in.

But brother, swim with her

and the love sharks will be the only ones that will win.

There she goes again,

swimming in the ocean of men.
RAIN MAN. Rain Man, a true friend. Blowing away the scars and dust of the heart's war, with the summer rain squall. Your clouds of smile fill the sky. Your laughter thunders, and happiness fills your eyes. Your fun filled showers help pass the hours. Your tales flow like refreshing rain. Remembering every detail and every name. A play with words is your favourite game. When the sun gets too hot, the shade of your humour monsoon, comes in. In your heart there's always room for another. Searching for more wet weather. The cool waters of your being, washing everything clean, making us feel better. Your memory will stay with us forever. Rain Man, a true friend.

NEVER FOUND. On the eternal search for something, I don't wish to find. I keep praying in the back of my mind, what I'm looking for I don't discover. That the mirage doesn't become an oasis. And I have nothing left, to look at and wait to see. From this never ending transient travel, may I never be free. Happy to continue examining the horizon for nonexistent islands. Trying to fly to, not there nesting. Untraceable treasure. Not the discovery but the endeavour is what brings pleasure. May I never find what I'm looking for.

NO WORDS. There's no words to explain my feelings of my perceived pain. And in tears I don't show the ache in my soul. I'll talk until I'm red and blue in the face. But nothing can express the injustice of this place. A scream sounds like sonics of an erotic dream. A frown is only a smile upside down. Crying often sounds more like laughter. This agony is miles away from the boundary of pain\pleasure. But only one thing can perform the act of showing, the world, how inside I am dying......................................................

........ Breathing his last... breath. And he dies from the inside, out.

HEART PHONE.

A direct call to your heart.

I've wanted to talk to it, right from the start.

Got to get it on line.

Tell your heart that,

I want to make it mine.

Don't know the number,

don't know the name.

But I will find it just the same.

Pick up the receiver,

talk to me over the wire.

And you will see how my heart,

for you,

burns with passion's sweet fire.

I want to make your Heart Phone ring.

I want to make your heart's voice sing.

So please tell me,

what digits to dial,

to make you and your heart smile.

TWILIGHT BLUE. I don't know where, we, really, are. We will always be following the Nowhere Star. I don't know what we next should do. But I keep dreaming under the twilight blue. The first and the last stars of the night are starting to show. But neither can tell us where we can go. The afternoon, the evening and the morning all blend into one. The moon chasing the sun. The daytime and the nocturnal, creatures are playing hide and seek. Of the other side, we all get a quick peek. So many unanswered questions, these times of the days. So many thoughts going so many ways. Will you return in the twilight blue? Will the dream come true, by the magic of the twilight blue. I remember how that colour suited you. I fell in love with your very being. And I was inspired to tell you. It is my favourite time, where and when, I feel that all things are your's and mine.The twilight blue. The lightness of the light. The night becomes day, the day becomes night. Twilight blue...

REPAIRS NEEDED. I had a dream... There was an angel with threaded needle in hand. She was singing "I want to sew up my heart and my soul. I want to repair the scars and wounds caused by a lack of love. I wish to stitch up all of this, painful ragdoll body of mine. Patch my wings, to fly to other places and see other things. I am worn and torn by this material wear and tear of the every day worry and care. Trying to be something not me. Trying to please. Crawling on my callus knees. How can I keep living like this? I taste the betrayal of your kiss. I see that you wish... I was not here. That look in your is impossible to now disguise. I feel like a quilt. Each fibre of my being, starts to melt, when you ask if you can help. Cause I'm sure it's true, I'm just another bit of clothing to you. To wear when you go out. Something you can do with or do without. I want to sew up my heart and my soul."

NO NOS. No nos that's how it goes, when your in love. I will do anything you ask. From your first request to your last. I just will do anything to keep you satisfied. Do what ever I have to, to keep that smile in your eyes. Ask me to do the impossible and I will find a way. Obedient to every thing you say. I'm not foolishly blind by lust. I know if you want it done, it must, be for a good reason. I'm sure you could never do anything evil or harmful to anyone. Your desires don't control your mind, to the point that it is all... MINE,

MINE, MINE. You think of others all the time. You look after everybody's need. You are never tempted by greed. With love my soul you feed. You share, you care. That's why there's no nos. That's the way it goes when it's true love. Love never says no to something The Loved requires and desires.

TIME TO BE TRUE. You can't tell me what do, when you already don't know the time. What is the time? It's time to be true to me. I've been saving my love like silver dimes. But you have been spending your good times, with others. New places, new lovers, lies and prefabricated alibis are your bed covers. Dirty sheets not change for weeks. Ashtrays overflowing with the remains of a nervously smoked carton full of cigarettes. Trying hard to live two lives. How can we and love survive, like this? A good morning, betrayal kiss. Enjoying your fake bliss? And you still have the nerve to advise me, on how to be a better person. While you hide most of the real you behind a black, dark curtain. Never can be certain of what you once were or now are. Telling me it's time to make up for lost time. But you don't know what the time is. It's time to be true to me. Or it is time to set sail, to another island of this love washed sea.

IN THE CORNER. He sleeps in the corner on, mattress soiled and stained. He cries himself to sleep, as he nurses his heart, hurt and pained. He has lost everything he once had gained. He lives in an old corner store that went bust, when the economy did turn. For lighting stolen, graveyard candles he does burn. He is often ripped off as he tries to get another trip. He is too caught up in it all, to see that it is not really hip. His girlfriend has spent her life savings, trying to keep him out of trouble and stop him from killing himself. Just as well, that love can't be measured by material things and wealth. They shared with me for one night all that they owned. And I felt for them both, as my heart is often prone, to make other's sorrows my own. I hope he can get free from the trap he's in. And if he can't, I hope she will find something better. And eventually win, this tug of war. Because this is no real fun at all. They sleep in the corner on, mattress soiled and stained. They cry themselves to sleep as they nurse their hearts, hurt and pained. They have lost everything they once gained. Without realising it, they have even lost each other. Side by side but worlds apart from one another. They lay ,wondering if, this is where they are to forever stay. Cornered. In the corner.

SATISFACTION ANN. She knows how to please a man. She does everything she can, to satisfy you. Not a more beautiful woman could be found. Skin soft and a light brown. She is a child of gypsies. She is always tipsy. Drunk on what ever booze she can buy. To drown and wash away the tears she's not allowed to cry. She is a woman of the night. In her eyes no longer shines love's burning light. Many a young man, handsome and rich, to her a promise gave. Her from this place, one day to save. Take her to a homely abide. But now does see that these, are all part of a never to be true, dream, joyride. But still she makes love with strangers like she always has, likely always will. Content are her customers and clientele. She looks after them well. Satisfaction Ann. I wish her peace. And that she is happy as much as she can, be.

NO ONE BUT YOU. No one does care for me, like you do. No one was there me for but you. I felt so alone until you came along. You stole away the hurt, that did me wrong. Now I'm singing a happier song. Never before have I experience such love. That reaches beyond the heavens above. I was lost until our roads crossed. You love me, what ever the cost. Before I met you, I was a selfish sort of man. But now to not think of you, I never can. I learnt by your example. You gave me a sample, of what life could be, if we thought of everybody. In my opinion you are my only companion true. No one was there for me but you. No one does care for me like you do. That's why I love no one but you.

LEAVING. Leaving behind, all the troubles that weigh upon my mind. Ready to discover what else there is to find. Much more than I now leave behind. Going far away from, Here, is the place I can no longer stay. Starting a new life with a brand new day. Sailing across the sea, exiting this shore cause nothing's left around here for me. Spreading my unused wings and flying free. I won't miss anything that does stay there. I have with me all for which I care. The beginning has had it's end. The final trip will be travelled. The last message I will now send. I am leaving it all behind.

THE PLACE. I'm looking for the place where I belong. I'm still looking for the place... I haven't found it so far, so I'll keep following the gypsy star. I don't know where it might be. Or maybe I'm meant to stay free. Somewhere under the blue sky is a place where I can be myself. Every where I've arrived as yet, I haven't found what I want to get. With every new destination I do go, still haven't been able to find a place for my soul. Haven't seen a landmark that captures my heart, to the point of wanting to stay. I keep searching further afield, far away. I'm looking, still looking for the place...

WHAT THEY SAY. Don't you worry, I'm in no hurry to believe what they tell me. I can see, for myself, what they say isn't true. I don't believe what they say about you. It's only jealousy, that they can't be as nice as you. It's only envy that they can't calm the sea, the way you do. I say if they can't say something kind, why say something cruel? I feel that, if what they say is real, it's real when applied to them, as a rule. Often the people doing the things, are the strongest opposers to them. So that they can nurse their conscience again. They will be shown up, for what they really are. We are just waiting for when that happens. Don't you worry, I'm in no hurry to believe what they tell me. I can see, for myself, what they say about you, isn't true.

STAR BURN.

Another star dies,

an emptier sky.

Living a lie.

Many a famous person burns inside,

cause the real them they hide,

due to their pleasing the crowd.

Their voice silenced,

though their souls and dreams scream aloud.

"Let us be heard."

Don't get lost in the trap of the pleasant word.

Being too nice and polite,

forgetting to say what your heart says is right to say.

Riches and fame are the name of the game.

Play it.

And you'll never play the same.

Draw upon all your strengths

but the crowd master goes to all lengths to make sure,

you are `HIS'.

Speaking, his words not the way it really is.

Doing things to get attention,

to yourself not your dream.

Never ending up the way you planned it.

And wished it had been.

Wondering if this is more than an echoing one hit wonder.

A rain shower,

instead of a raging thunder storm.

Are you to reach the heights you were born, to reach.

Just another good piece to dance to,

to each raver at the night club.

Not hearing the message past the rhythmic thud of the beat. Zombic movement of bodies and feet.

Trampling the hope, now soured once sweet.

Will you ever change the world?

Or has it been you that has been changed by this world? Throwing back the gold and pearls,

no one understands beauty.

We are all too blind to see the truth.

Star burn,

the galactic tide changes and does turn.

But still another star does burn.

Once burning bright,

but now you're just another night light.

Fading from sight.

Star burn.

EXTRACT FROM "UNFAITHFULLY YOURS."

A BOOK OF POETRY WRITTEN BY anthony james day.

COPY WRITE BY ART & SOUL Co.
