There must be a beginning of any great matter
but the continuing unto the end until it
be thoroughly finished yields the true glory.
Sir Francis Drake, 1587.
Long quote, not sure what it means though.
Ooh, treasure?
Toggle subtitles?
Think they should already be on.
Ancestor?
Think he’s robbing his ancestor.
Could be a relative.
Are those even bones? It already looks defiled.
Is it sea pirates?
[laughs] It’s pirate.
Seriously?
Wow.
That’s a lot of pirates.
I am the authorities.
Illegal activities everywhere.
With guns blazing.
It’s like a camera…
Uh, don’t point it at me.
Yea, pretty sure she’s not trained.
L to aim, R2 to shoot.
Ooh, 40 bullets.
What, should I shoot?
Oh my god, I can’t even f*cking aim.
Can I, can I duck? Ooh, nice. Oh.
Ooh, nice. Oh.
Yea, ok. Yea, definitely…
Definitely need to do that.
Uh, how you reload yo? Oh, there we go.
Oh. Geezums.
God.
Ok, I totally did not hit the dude
but thanks, game.
Why is it going away?
Literally everyone on the boat is dead.
Oh wait, is there someone on the
other side? Oh my god, pirates!
Oh wait, I can hit you.
What is that punching? Oh geez!
They’re on the fricking thingamabob.
Wait, what?
Was that a headshot? I hope that was a headshot.
Oh, I can jack their guns?
But like… what’s the point?
Oh god, more coming.
Brutal combo.
Oh my god.
Didn’t get to use my brutal combo.
Ok, somebody get on the boat
so I can use my brutal combo.
Or whatever.
Oh my god.
Brutal combo time!
Oh god.
Drop more ammo.
What? Oh my god, they’re
all on the fricking thing.
Oh my god, stop it!
[laughs] I’m gonna die ‘cause I
‘cause I insist on punching them.
Hilarious. Hilarious.
I’m dead. [laughs]
Stupid.
The controls are… so wack.
Did it restart?
Do I have to kill them all over again?
I should honestly just shoot.
I wish you could punch them
as they’re coming up.
That would be oh so helpful.
Yea, I am shooting to kill.
What? What do you mean?
Hmm?
But that’s what I did.
Lame.
Ammo? Can you go over?
Go overboard please. Ok, whatever.
Which way they coming from? I wish you could
go around this thing but it doesn’t work that way.
Get outta here, pirate!
Pretty sure I have unlimited bullets anyway.
We’re still in tutorial mode.
Oh god.
Rocket launcher, excuse me?!
That’s not a rocket launcher.
Geez, I can’t even shoot them. Oh my god.
Good god.
Sully?
What?
You’re not getting anything back.
Oh god.
Yea, they should really let me…
I don’t know why I’m complaining about
the mechanics of an old game.
But they should let me crouch around stuff.
Oh wait, my camera.
Years of therapy.
Victor Sullivan.
Hey, what about me, dude?
Well?
Does it say where the treasure is?
Well, even if he faked his death,
he’s definitely dead now, right?
His facial expressions are so weird.
[laughs]
‘Cause someone already
rummaged through the coffin.
She already told everyone.
Is it though?
Why are they even filming it?
Aren’t they legit pirates?
I feel like he’s implying ‘kill her’. [laughs]
They just leave.
Yep, you were right not to trust them,
but at least they didn’t kill you.
The search for El Dorado.
Are we?
Do you have a map or anything?
Roll. Duck.
I’m not. [laughs] What were you saying?
Could you actually have stayed and listened?
That’s funny.
I don’t know where I’m going.
Just running in every random direction.
Oh, found it. I guess.
Time to dig.
I don’t even know what we’re looking for.
Are we legit looking for a city?
Why would there be a bride in a brothel?
This looks legit, right?
Yea.
But still don’t know what I’m looking for, dude.
Can you climb?
2000 years old?
Yea, I do not know-- Oh, you can climb stuff.
Sick.
How about up here?
Too high, I guess.
You sure I can’t climb up there?
Hmm. Why did I climb up here then?
There’s not really…
...anything up here. Maybe that was just like
a tutorial, or something maybe.
Wait, can I jump across?
Is that a thing?
Teach me to jump, game. How do you jump?
Maybe it’s just X again.
Sweet.
You’re a real Indiana Jones now.
Oh god.
Nearly died.
What?
It’s green.
Maybe it’s hiding something.
Should I go back down there?
But I took so much… to…
Oh geez.
Smash through it.
Maybe I’ll smash through it.
Above an edge to drop down and grab it.
Cool cool cool.
This is Assassin’s Creed all of a sudden.
You’re really just gonna-- Oh, maybe drop this.
I was like you’re gonna jump
onto it? I don’t think you’re…
you’re heavy enough to really cause
breakage like that.
Is there fall damage, dude? You never told me.
How do I… Ok, maybe drop.
Treasure!
Eh well, I forgot to bring mine. Oh geez.
Where’s my flashlight, Sully?
You forgot to bring one for me!
Oh, you do have a flashlight.
Dude.
Does Naughty Dog games just love these
kinds of flashlights or something?
They have it in The Last of Us too.
So what you’re saying is no treasure?
In debt? What the hell, dude?
Just sell your boat. It’s fine.
He’s talking about that lady.
True that.
We’re in big trouble. What are we looking for?
Like this. What is this?
[laughs]
Wanted to jump on that.
Is it? Can’t even look at it.
Um. So how do I get across?
Yea, I know. I’m thinking about it.
Can I drop… Hmm? Shoot? What am I shooting?
There’s an explosive thing,
but what will it break?
Woah.
Yea, heckin’ dangerous.
We gonna find like mummies
here or some crap?
Should I shoot that? What is it holding up?
I don’t even know. Punch!
Oh ok. Nevermind.
Oh. I see.
W-What?
Yea, you do that. What the hell?
Dude, I’m gonna find like a
mummy or some crap in here.
Um. With what? Can I move this?
How about this giant thing?
Jam it from the other side?
Oh.
This… All the mechanics just feel like
The Last of Us.
Now how are we gonna get out?
Yea, too close. How are we gonna get out?
Mmhmm.
Ok, so? Can I look at the journal or something?
Light it?
Light it how? What the hell’s that mean?
Cool. Do we get to solve puzzles in this?
Ok, let’s go, I guess. Don’t know what that did.
