Hi. welcome to True True. I'm Pattie and i'd like to discuss some truths.
 
When is it OK to compromise?
Is it something that we
really have to do?
It seems that everyone keeps saying
that we must compromise in
a relationship. For it to work. So that
both parties feel like they
are having a chance to be themselves and to make
decisions. And you kind of have to give up on
somethings. About yourself or about what
you want.
We're told to compromise at work. At work
we're supposed to give up
most of what we want and how we want it
and that time that we want it at
on a personal level so that it makes sense professionally.
For the client. For the boss. For the employees.
You name it.
(singing parody of "womanizer" by Nelly Furtado)
To me there is never a good time to compromise.
I was watching a Youtube video
on Russel Brand's "Under the skin" and it was with
 
David Lynch. Who I'm a huge
fan of.
They were talking about compromising and
Lynch was really good in the sense
that he explained it in a really, sort of
you know, in one phrase, as he usually does.
He basically said, you know
how the Government compromises.
They always say something had to be compromised.
So, you know, the bill for
environmental... something
you know, something to do with the environment and helping the earth
to breathe and to heal and respecting
has been compromised. Which he takes to be
a sign of it´s not as good as it used to be.
It's also not as bad as it used to be.
So it's not good and it's not bad.
We compromised. When I think of
the word compromise Eartha Kitt's interview
comes up. If you haven't seen it, I'm going to leave the link below
as well as the Russel Brand "Under the Skin".
She's adamant about compromising
for a relationship to work. She say "For What?"
For What?
For What?
To her compromising is someone asking
her to not be herself.
And if she can't be herself, specially if she was
a strong woman, a force of nature. that would mean
that they don't accept her for who she is and to her
it was the end of the line. She will not compromise. And
it kind of sounded like it came from a position, from a place of
experience. Maybe she had given up part of herself before
in past relationships and noticed that it wasn't
It wasn't worth it for her.
I believe that compromising
may be necessary throughout life
if you want to be liked.
And if you want
to be promoted.
 
If you want to keep
the peace.
Because I would say it's temporary because
since you're compromising, sooner or later, you're going to
have to
want
something in return. You're going to have to feel
comfortable too. So whatever it is that you compromised you going to need to kind of
Bring that back in. I see
I see that word as being very dangerous
because it feels like it's very logic
And something
that just kind of makes sense.That you would need to compromise on a
very sort of
rational level and pragmatic level. You want
things to work out. It can never be exactly as you want
it completely so you'll need to compromise.
The thing is, that if it can never be exactly how you
want it completely, why should I insist on
pursuing it?
Perhaps if I need to compromise a lot
 
a part of me keeps, sort of, being chipped off
Right? You compromise so much that at
the end of the day, you know, two, three
years from now, you find yourself perhaps
in a context where you wouldn't normally
fit into.
But you compromised so much that you kind of
adapted to that context.
That can be good if you're looking to adapt, I guess.
 
But you're not in the right place for you.
Because you've compromised.
I see it as a sort of red flag if
I'm in a group or
if I'm in a professional situation
or relationship situation
for me it's a red flag if I'm compromising
more than I expected to.
Because it's a sure sign that
whatever it is that I'm pursuing or
building there
perhaps it isn't for me because I'm having to give up a lot of
things about myself. I'm
having to make do without that part of myself.
A more concrete, sort of, example
would be
to be in a job that's not for me. so I'm a creative
person, I'm artistic, I'm a performer, I'm an
actress and I'm a filmmaker. So
if I have to work in an office job
where I'm doing something like customer care. Which I have had to.
I'm compromising every day.
Right? I'm compromising in that
I'm usually very forward thinking and
 
open-minded and honest and vocal.
All of these parts of me must be
put away neatly in a drawer because
there's no place for that in that type of environment.
That's me compromising.
What did I do it for? Money.
Mostly. Like most of us. Is it worth it?
I guess temporarily. But ultimately no.
I don't think it's ever worth it.
If I hear the word
compromise. I usually
my ears sort of
pop up
and I know that it's probably a no-go for me then.
Because like Eartha Kitt says "For What?"
For what?
For what?
For what?!
I know that we live in a place where it's easier said
than done.
It's very difficult to
not compromise. To be yourself. To make your own
decisions.
 
to follow the path that is true to what is
happening within you, to what you need
to what you want
to what drives you. To where
your passion is.
And it's
And it's definitely not lightly that I
say it's not worth it. It's because
I know
that it's what we're always pushed to do
we just kind of suck it up and do it. You need to, you know? You need
the money. You need to pay rent or you need to
fit in. Or you need to
Stop being so difficult because life isn't perfect. Anyway...
That type of thinking is what's kind of
not allowing a lot of us to
have that life where we don't need to compromise that much.
Basically, life can be ideal. It can.
It can fit me. I don't always have to compromise.
I know that there will be ups and downs and that I will have to
compromise sometimes. But I strive for
those moments where I can feel
total liberty and alignment with my passion
and with what I want so that
it's a reality to, to
fit in and be aligned. You know
be in the right place, with my passion, with what I want to do
and where I don't have to pretend
to be anyone else
other than who I am. And where
all of my capacities and my quirks
and my specific
personal
endeavors, lessons and qualities
are actually being used and are an
asset rather than something that
I have to push away and hide in order to
in order to get on with the realistic
you know, real life struggle.
Those of us who are brave enough
to not do it. To not compromise
and to risk it
are basically following our passion instead of
giving in to fear. And that is
saying a lot. Yay!
Because ultimately we will feel happier and we will be of service
to people and to ourselves.
Aligned and true.
So. I know it's not the easy path
and it's not an easy choice to sometimes
be in that moment where
God if I can just suck it up for a couple of months or for a year.
But ultimately, you will normally go down a path
that will just ask you to compromise even more.
So what I have learned from making many compromises
in my life is that it is never worth it.
Because you always end up with something that you didn't really want to start
off with because it was never meant for you. It wasn't fit for for you. If you had
to compromise and give up so much of yourself
and hide it away, it's because that
whatever you were pursuing just wasn't for you.
So I understand that it's hard. I understand that it's scary
but it's
still worth it
because of the simple fact that it is the
real you and what you actually want and
I feel personally, that when I pursue something like that
that's really for me
really fitting. No compromising necessary. Quite the opposite.
It brings out all of the
qualities in me.
Enhances them and uses them
as a tool for the good, for the best
then
that kind of attracts what I wanted to start off with.
Thank you for watching. If you like this, subscribe
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