Uh, well, sir,
it's, uh,
This rug I have.
It really tied
the room together. Uh--
You told brandt on
the phone, he told me.
Where do I fit in?
Well, uh, they were--
They were looking
for you, these 2 guys.
Uh--
I'll say it again.
You told brandt on
the phone, he told me.
I know what happened.
Yes? Yes?
Oh, so you know that
They were trying
to piss on your rug?
Did I urinate
on your rug?
You mean, did you
personally come
And pee on my rug?
Hello! Do you
speak english, son?
Parla usted ingles?
I'll ask you again.
Did I urinate on your rug?
No, like I said,
woo peed on my rug.
I just want to
understand this, sir.
Every time a rug
is micturated upon
In this fair city, I have
to compensate the person--
Come on, man,
I'm not trying
to scam anybody here.
Uh, you know,
I--I was just--
You were just
looking for a handout
Like every other...
Are you employed,
mr. Lebowski?
Uh, wait, let me--
Let me explain
something to you.
I am not mr. Lebowski.
You're mr. Lebowski.
I'm the dude. So that's
what you call me,
You know, uh, that
or, uh, his dudeness,
Or, uh, duder, or, you
know, uh, el duderino,
If you're not into
the whole brevity thing.
Are you employed, sir?
Employed?
Ha ha.
You don't go out
looking for a job
Dressed like that,
do you, on a weekday?
Is this a--
what day is this?
Well, I do work, sir.
So if you don't mind--
No, I do mind.
Uh, the dude minds.
This will not stand,
you know.
This aggression
will not stand, man.
I mean, your wife owes--
My wife is not
the issue here!
I hope that
someday my wife
Will learn to live
on her allowance,
Which is ample,
but if she does not,
That is her problem,
not mine,
Just as the rug
is your problem,
Just as every bum's
lot in life
Is his own
responsibility,
Regardless of who
he chooses to blame.
I didn't blame anyone
for the loss of my legs.
Some chinaman took them
from me in korea.
But I went out
and achieved anyway.
Ha ha ha.
I cannot solve
your problems, sir,
Only you can.
Oh, fuck it.
Oh, fuck it.
Yes, that's your answer.
That's your answer
to everything.
Tattoo it
on your forehead.
Your revolution is
over, mr. Lebowski!
Condolences!
The bums lost!
My advice to you is to do
what your parents did!
Get a job, sir!
The bums will always lose!
Do you hear me,
lebowski?!
The bums
will always lose!
How was your meeting,
mr. Lebowski?
Ok. The old man told me to
take any rug in the house.
Well, enjoy,
And perhaps we'll see you
again sometime, dude.
Yeah, sure, uh, if I'm
in the neighborhood,
