-Billionaire Mike Bloomberg
is apparently close to joining
the Democratic primary
as Wall Street panics
about the current
crop of candidates.
For more on this,
it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
It's hard to keep track
of all the corruption
swirling around President Trump.
But on top of the impeachment
inquiry and everything else,
there was also
this little item last week
that went largely unnoticed --
A judge ordered the president
of the United States
to pay $2 million
for misusing funds
from his charity
for ridiculous purchases.
-A New York judge ordering
President Trump
to pay $2 million for misusing
Trump Foundation
charitable funds.
The president had vowed
never to settle the lawsuit.
The New York State
Attorney General
alleged the president
used the charity's money
to help his 2016 campaign
pay business debts,
even to by buy
a painting of himself.
-That's right.
Trump used charity money
to buy a painting of himself,
and this is the painting.
[ Laughter ]
Look at that.
It looks like they hired
Jackson Pollock
to do a courtroom sketch.
Almost as shocking
as the settlement itself
was the fact that Trump
admitted wrongdoing.
As part of the settlement,
Trump acknowledged
in a court filing that he had
failed to follow basic laws
about how charities
should be governed.
In a statement
signed by Trump's attorney,
the president admitted to poor
oversight of the charity.
And you know it must be bad
because Trump never apologizes
for anything.
If he backed into your car
in the parking lot,
he would leave a note
on the windshield that said,
"I won't pay for repairs,
but here's a wallet-sized
portrait of me."
Signed, "Donald Trump.
I did nothing wrong."
Now, if you're
a Democratic primary voter,
I know what you're thinking.
You've been watching
the rampant corruption
of the Trump presidency,
the catastrophic failure
of the Trump administration,
and the destructive influence
the wealthy have had
on politics.
And you're saying to yourself,
"You know what can fix this?
A different rich guy."
Because if we've learned
one thing from the past decade
of politics from the financial
crisis to the Trump presidency,
it's that rich people
with zero exceptions
know what they're doing.
That's why they always do
smart, sane things
like leaving all their money
to their cats
or going on a podcast
and smoking weed like Elon Musk.
That's the CEO of
a multibillion-dollar company,
and he looks like a 10th grader
at a sleepover.
[ Laughter ]
[ Stoned voice ]
Welcome to the board meeting.
First over of business.
We're going to build a rocket...
[ Laughter ]
...to White Castle.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Normal voice ]
If you've been waiting for
a billionaire alternative,
your prayers have been answered
because a billionaire
is reportedly close
to entering the race --
a billionaire so charming
and charismatic,
whose Spanish is so perfect,
no one will be able
to resist him.
-Breaking news tonight.
The bombshell just dropping
in the 2020 race --
Michael Bloomberg on the brink
of entering the Democratic
primary battle.
-A spokesperson says Bloomberg
is worried
the current crop
of Democratic candidates
may not be able to defeat
President Trump.
But a recent poll also shows
that if Bloomberg
were to enter the race,
only 6 percent
of Democratic primary voters
say they'd definitely
vote for him.
-Bloomberg was the Republican
mayor of New York City.
Now he's running as a Democrat.
How does he fit in?
-Well, he'd run as a moderate.
And he would run on his record
as mayor.
-While in office, he had
a tendency to read statements
at the end of his press
conferences in Español.
-[ Speaking Spanish ]
 -iAy, caramba!
Miguel Bloomberg esta
running for presidente!
 iAy, dios mío!
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
That's right.
Michael Bloomberg is reportedly
close to jumping into
the Democratic primary.
You know, the guy who
used to be a Democrat,
then switched to Republican
to run for mayor,
then switched to Independent
after he became mayor,
then went back to
being a Democrat.
I mean, that's how my mom
orders at a restaurant.
I'll have the fish --
No, the chicken.
You know what? Just do me last.
Do me last.
In reality, the vast majority
of Democratic primary voters
are saying in polls
that they're actually satisfied
with the choices
they already have.
In fact, there's already
another billionaire in the race,
Tom Steyer. Remember him?
The guy who looks like
even he's surprised
he's running for president?
[ Laughter ]
He looks like a middle-aged dad
who found his kid's acid
and accidentally ate it.
[ Laughter ]
I cannot see my hands.
And that wolf is talking to me.
[ Laughter ]
And just...
[ Applause ]
Just to give you an idea of how
uninterested Democrats are
in having another
billionaire president,
Steyer has remained mired in the
low single digits in the polls
despite the fact that he spent
$47 million
during the first three months
of his presidential bid --
$47 million!
Instead of running for
president,
he could have funded
grassroots organizing
or just offered that same money
to Donald Trump to quit.
[ Laughter ]
You know Trump would take it.
If Trump knew someone would
be willing to pay him to resign,
he would probably start airing
infomercials
with the hotline,
"1-800-1-MAKE-ME-AN-OFFER."
[ As Trump ] Call now
and you can pay me to shut up.
And if the price is right,
I'll throw in a second
even dumber Donald Trump.
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] So there just
doesn't seem to be an appetite
right now for another
billionaire president
to swoop in and save us from the
current Democratic candidates.
People want to
change the system,
but it's hard to convince
someone that a system broken
when that system gave them
billions of dollars.
Remember the futile campaign
of Starbucks founder
Howard Schultz?
He couldn't even announce
his candidacy
without getting yelled at.
-Former Starbucks CEO
Howard Schultz got an earful
from a protestor at
a New York City book signing
Monday night after Schultz said
he is seriously considering
a possible Independent run
for the White House.
-I am seriously considering
running for President
as a centrist Independent.
And I wanted to clarify the word
"Independent,"
which I view merely as
a designation on the ballot.
-Don't help elect Trump,
you egotistical
billionaire [bleep]
-That's what you get
for announcing your campaign
in New York City.
[ New York accent ]
Hey, Schultz, how about you take
one of those cake pops
and stick it up your a--
Let's go, Mets!
[ Laughter, cheers,
and applause ]
Now billionaires...
Billionaires are apparently
worried
about the leftward tilt
of the current primary,
and in particular,
the candidacies
of Elizabeth Warren
and Bernie Sanders.
In fact, it was reported
Bloomberg had been coaxed
by another even wealthier
billionaire.
Vox reported that Jeff Bezos
asked Michael Bloomberg
months ago if he'd consider
running for president.
Wow! He just ordered up
a presidential candidate.
What level of Amazon Prime
is that?
[ Laughter ]
Bloomberg's interest in running
and Bezos' prodding
come after weeks
of billionaire freakouts
over the possibility that
someone who's critical
of big banks and Wall Street,
like Warren or Bernie,
could get the Democratic
nomination.
In fact, last week, even
Bill Gates expressed concern
about how much he personally
would have to pay in taxes
and joked that he might not
have that much left over.
-You know, I've paid over
$10 billion in taxes.
I paid more than anyone
in taxes.
But I'm glad to have pa--
You know,
if I had to pay $20 billion,
that's fine.
But, you know, when you say
I should pay $100 billion,
okay, then I'm starting
to do a little math
about what I have left over.
Sorry, I'm just kidding.
-First of all,
I think you got your math wrong
which makes sense because
you probably used Excel.
Secondly, we know you're kidding
because you have incredible
comic delivery
and because you're worth
over $100 billion.
If Elizabeth Warren
got elected president,
no one thinks Bill Gates
would be doing math
on the back of a napkin
at his kitchen table,
"Let's see, $6 billion
in wealth taxes
another $10 billion
in income taxes.
Oh, that leaves me
with $90 bil--
That's barely enough
to survive!"
I'm already cutting my own hair!
[ Laughter ]
Besides, even if Gates
did run out of money,
we know he would have
a successful career as a dancer,
as we learned from
a press conference
announcing the launch
of Windows 95.
[ Cheers and applause ]
It looks like your accountant's
Christmas party
after someone spikes the punch.
That's the bar mitzvah
where the dads are trying to get
the kids on the dance floor,
"Come on, guys!
We're doing the Macarena!"
[ Claps ]
Now, obviously Gates'
$100 billion tax estimate
was ridiculous. In fact,
to help him calculate
how much he'd owe in taxes
under her presidency,
Warren added a calculator
for the billionaires to her
website with two custom links
that say, "If you're
Michael Bloomberg, click here.
And if you're Bill Gates,
you can click here."
Damn, she used the Internet
against Bill Gates.
Next, she's gonna get Clippy
to endorse her.
[ Laughter ]
And Bill Gates isn't
the only billionaire
freaking out about
Warren's candidacy.
Last week, JPMorgan Chase CEO
Jamie Dimon criticized Warren
for vilifying rich people.
-She uses some pretty harsh
words,
some would say vilifies
successful people.
I don't like vilifying anybody.
I think we should applaud
successful people.
-You have a billion dollars,
and you also want applause?
I thought the whole point
of being rich
was not having to care
what people think of you.
That's why they call it
"[Bleep] you" money,
not "[Bleep] you,
now give me a hug" money.
[ Laughter ]
Dimon was also on "60 Minutes"
on Sunday.
Dimon was asked about his salary
last year,
which came out to $31 million.
He was also pressed on
whether he took
any responsibility at all
for JPMorgan's role
in the financial crisis,
which, of course,
is one of the major reasons
voters are so angry
at Wall Street.
And he changed his answer
within seconds.
-Do you take any responsibility
for the financial crisis
in 2008?
-No.
-But your bank sold
those same kind of mortgages.
-We -- Yeah. I do take some.
-He's dancing around that
question like Bill Gates in '95.
[ Laughter ]
People aren't just mad
at billionaires out of jealousy
or because candidates demonize
them.
There are real world examples
that are informing
people's doubts
that the wealthy can solve
everything.
Just take Mark Zuckerberg.
Facebook recently announced
that it won't fact-check
political ads.
And Zuckerberg was grilled
by Congresswoman
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
about that decision recently,
he had no answers.
-You announced recently that
the official policy of Facebook
now allows politicians to pay to
spread disinformation
in 2020 elections
and in the future.
So I just want to know
how far I can push this.
Would I be able to run
advertisements on Facebook
targeting Republicans
in primaries
saying that they voted
for the Green New Deal?
I mean,
if you're not fact-checking
political advertisements,
I'm just trying to understand
the bounds here,
what's fair game.
-Congresswoman, I, uh --
I don't know the answer to that
off the top of my head.
-Do you see
a potential problem here
with the complete lack
of fact-checking
on political advertisements?
-Well, Congressman,
I think lying is bad,
and I think if you were to
run an ad that had a lie,
that would be bad.
-Oh, really?
[ Laughter ]
Would that be bad?
So if I said you didn't
look like cross
between Data from Star Trek
and a teenage roman emperor,
that would be bad?
So the billionaires
are freaking out
about Warren and Bernie,
but neither of them
seem especially worried
about it.
Earlier this year, when Warren
was asked about the reaction
among billionaires
to her candidacy,
she had only
a sarcastic response.
-They're gonna throw everything
at you to stop you.
How do you get
from here to there?
[ Laughter ]
-Are you telling me that the
billionaires are not in favor
of my being president
of the United States?
[ Laughter and applause ]
Damn, you just upset
every plan I had.
[ Laughter ]
I'm shocked!
-Sarcastic Elizabeth Warren
is like the teacher
catching you smoking out back
behind the high school.
Wow! Smoking is so cool!
Do you know what else
is cool? Emphysema.
[ Laughter ]
You know the girls like
yellow teeth and skin.
All right. I'll see you guys
back in class.
[ Laughter ]
Then there's Bernie.
Last month,
Bernie went on CNBC to make
the case that Wall Street
should pay more to reduce
income inequality.
And at one point, he referred
to his "friends on Wall Street."
-At a time of massive income
and wealth inequality,
it is my view that
the wealthiest people
in this country,
the top 1/10 of 1%,
should be paying
substantially more
than they're paying right now.
You have an insane situation.
I let my Wall Street
friends there
tell me why it makes sense.
-You have Wall Street friends?
-No, I don't.
That was just a metaph--
[ Laughter ]
I was trying to sound nice.
I don't.
-Of course Bernie doesn't have
Wall Street friends.
I'm guessing that unless
you're a member
of the Vermont Food Co-op
or the Burlington Y,
you're not friends with Bernie
at all.
[ As Sanders ]
I go swimming at 5:00 a.m.,
and then I do a shift
at the co-op,
and then I go home
and I don't talk to anybody.
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] And I'm glad
Bernie admitted that.
Because if there's one thing
we've all learned
from the billionaires,
it's that...
-Lying is bad.
-Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
We're living in an unprecedented
era of massive inequality.
And there's an incredible hunger
among voters for a candidate
who will fight for
a systemic change.
Voters don't seem to want
a self-appointed billionaire
savior to ride in and save them,
and if you think
you are that savior,
you might actually just be a...
-Egotistical
billionaire [bleep]
-This has been "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
