I created every minion with my own body. It’s
odd to see children wearing minions t-shirts
and to know that that sweet minion is my own
child, but it’s true. The minions are my
children. My boys. And I'm proud of 'em.
Minions, you see, are quite deceptive. Their
foolish personas, their reputation for chaotic
and sometimes illegal acts, it’s a very
different story to my experience of them.
We’re an artistic family of course. Their
father died in a tragic boating accident,
trying to create a sculpture of Shania Twain,
his latest and most ambitious project at the
time, and I remember that very morning I had
said, “darling, don’t take the clay Shania
Twain out on the yacht today, it’s getting
too distracting.” But alas, he didn’t listen.
Of course, as for me, I like to draw my children,
as I’m doing throughout this video. I like
to capture their unique and special essences
this way. Each child is different, and each
picture tells a different story. I never get
tired of drawing them. Of course there are
so many of them, that, y'know, I always have a different child to draw, which is really nice.
We did have an awful lot of children, it’s
true. In the beginning we were going to have two.
One for the sake of it, and one to bring
the other a drink from the fridge.
But things very quickly got out of hand. I’m
not even sure how many of them there are now.
You just reach a point where it becomes hard
to keep count. But you know, there are a lot
of minions, so I guess you can just google
“how many minions are there” and tell
me how many children I have. There’s no
need for me to do it myself.
I like to take my boys to see the sights.
Some of us go hiking, that sort of thing.
I love to camp in a beautiful alpine field
with about six or seven hundred minions. It’s
really a lot more relaxing than you’d think.
Of course, minions are known for the dungarees
and the goggles, but my boys are quite well-dressed.
A nice button-down goes a long way, you know?
They look a lot more like their father, really,
it’s interesting how genetics work. Not
a single one of them looks much like me at
all. But I do try to impart my style on them.
Some of them are full goth, of course, which
is pretty cool. I’ve always vaguely wanted
to go full goth, but if several of your sons
do it, then you can kind of live a vicariously
goth life through them.
Some of my sons are really good listeners.
Some of them prefer to spend their time joyriding
in Dubai, but let’s not talk about Kevin
right now. Sometimes people ask me if I have
a favourite minion, and of course I love all
of my sons very much in their own ways and
couldn’t choose a favourite, but it’s
really Aloysius I spend the most time with.
He writes a lot of poems. He collects taxidermied
ducks, which is A Lot, but he takes me to
Asda a lot, so you know. That’s mostly how
you maintain a relationship. It’s just Asda.
Anyway, I hope this has given you a little
insight into what it’s like, being the mother
of all the minions, and I hope you’ve enjoyed
some of my drawings of them.
They're good boys.
