[Fred] and and he said that his daddy was a surgeon
[Ted] Right
[Fred] and he was really big and he could beat you up
[Ted] Oh well...
[Fred] And I said "no way no way. My daddy
is so much cooler than your daddy"
[Fred] "and he had so much cooler jobs"
[Ted] Oh yeah
[Fred] but then they asked me which jobs
[Fred] and I was like well uh I mean I didn't know
[Ted] Oh well ok
[Fred] What jobs have you done?
So I can tell all my friends at school
[Fred] And then tell them how much cooler
my dad is then theirs
[Ted] Oh well I've done  plenty
of different jobs over my time son
[Ted] But well um...
[Fred] I bet they've been really cool haven't they?
[Fred] I bet you've done really really cool jobs
[Ted] Oh definitely
[Ted] It's probably too many to tell you all of them right now but I'll tell you about some of my most recent ones
[Fred] Oh yeah. Tell me the best ones yeah
[Ted] Well so yes my most recent job
[Ted] Is actually working on the organizing committee for the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympics
[Fred] Oh wow really! That's so cool Daddy.
Oh wow how amazing. The Olympics
[Ted] Yes
[Fred] Is that like... Is that like an octopus?
[Ted] No no son. It was the big...
[Fred] Not an octopus. Sorry shellfish. It's like a limpet?
[Ted] No
[Fred] An Olimpet
[Ted] No no not quite son
[Fred] Mmm Shellfish. I like shellfish. Mmm yum
[Ted] Well that's very good but no it's not that son.
[Ted] The olympics and paralympics are the
biggest sporting event in the whole world
[Fred] Wow wow how exciting and so and so what...
Did you get to go and like...
[Fred] speak with all the athletes and like
hang out with them and stuff
[Ted] No not quite I got to do something even better
[Fred] Oh wow!
[Fred] Oh wow amazing were you like a
commentator or something? That'd be really cool
[Fred] Oh my daddy's a commentator wow amazing
[Ted] No no no no no it was even better than that
[Ted] Oh you were competing? Were you competing?
Well no you can't be on the board and competing
[Ted] No I was on the committee
[Fred] Were you in charge?
[Fred] Were you in charge of the entire
Olympics? Wow that's amazing
[Ted] No no. Lord Coe was in charge so
I wasn't able to do that
[Ted] That would have been cooler but my job
was still very cool nonetheless
[Fred] Right ok. Oh how exciting. So what was it?
[Ted] Well I was... The chief financial officer's...
[Ted] intern's assistant's secretary's trainee!
Oh yes how exciting! Oh yes yes
[Fred] Wow! Oh. How ama... Wait that
sounds really... Well what's that?
[Ted] Well I did loads of loads of cool things in my job
[Fred] okay tell me tell me I'm really excited
[Fred] Oh I'm going to tell all my friends about
all these things that you did
[Fred] It's going to be so great and they're going to think that you're so much cooler than their daddy
[Ted] Oh yes so as I was a trainee,  I was
responsible for giving the post to the secretary...
[Ted] Who then gave it to the assistant.
Oh how exciting
[Fred] Right
[Ted] I went through the email accounts...
[Ted] and then got rid of all the spam messages
[Fred] Right okay
[Fred] And then what about all of the cool bits right
so we're getting into the cool bits now right?
[Fred] So that sounds fine but
tell me about the really exciting bits
[Ted] Well what was really exciting was that I got to organize all the appointments for the assistant
[Ted] Oh yes how exciting!
[Fred] Oh wow! wait wait wait what what
[Fred] No I said tell me about the really exciting bits
Doing the appointments, that sounds really boring...
[Fred] like doing the post and the emails so
I can't tell can't tell my friends...
[Fred] That you were just like doing the post that
would be... that would be... that would be terrible
[Fred] So tell me! Tell me the really exciting bit
[Ted] Um well what was really exciting was that...
[Fred] Right. Here it comes!
[Ted] I got to proofread the Chief
Financial Officer's documents!
[Fred] Oh! OH MY GOD!
No but wait wait sorry. Proof reading?
[Ted] Yes that's right. Proof reading.
[Fred] But isn't that just like checking for
errors and stuff. Like sort of...
[Ted] Yes and adding any extra punctuation
people usually miss.
[Fred] But that sounds so boring
[Ted] Oh no it's not boring
[Fred] What do you mean? You're doing admin?
You're doing admin for the Olympics?
[Ted] Um yes pretty much. Yes it was very good yes.
[Fred] Rubbish! Oh no I can't tell my friends about that.
That's so boring.
[Ted] Oh! Well I found it very exciting.
[Fred] Oh so stupid!
[Fred] You must have done something else
That must be better. What else have you done?
[Ted] Well I did work for Elon Musk at one point
[Fred] Wow! Oh my god!
[Fred] Why didn't you start with that?
That's amazing
[Ted] Well I thought the Olympics was cooler but obviously not
[Ted] Elon was looking for something to do you see
[Fred] Right
[Ted] So I worked with him on an app.
Oh an app? That's so exciting. Oh my god
My daddy's in app development. That's really cool
[Ted] Um...
[Fred] He must have worked for Elon Musk
[Fred] Oh right so what app was it?
Was it like Snapchat? Was it Snapchat?
[Ted] No it wasn't Snapchat no but it's
much cooler than Snapchat
[Fred] Oh right. Oh I know. Fortnite. Oh Fortnite that's
so cool. I love Fortnite. That would be amazing
[Ted] No no don't forget, this is before the
Olympics job remember so...
[Fred] oh right right
[Ted] It wasn't around then.
[Fred] Oh I know! I know!
So you helped with PayPal. Yes oh PayPal
[Fred] Oh that's amazing. Everyone uses PayPal
Even I've got PayPal
[Ted] No you don't
[Fred] Yes I do. I use the PayPal to send the money...
[Fred] To the people on the Facebook
[Ted] What? No!
[Fred] Yes remember because I said I like to send the pictures to the strange men that I meet on the internet
[Fred] and then they give me money so I
receive the money into my PayPal account
[Ted] But! No!
[Fred] So thanks Daddy and thanks Elon Musk.
[Ted] No no no! We'll have a separate discussion
about that but no it wasn't PayPal
[Fred] Bitcoin? Did you make Bitcoin?
[Ted] No I didn't make Bitcoin.
[Fred] Oh oh... Well why not?
[Fred] It would have been so much cooler. I'd be like "My dad is Mr Saratoshi or whatever his name is
[Fred] and he secretly made the bitcoin. That would be amazing and you would have loads of money
[Fred] Because you'd be really really cool.
So not that so hmm... Um...
[Fred] Oh. TikTok. Oh was it TikTok? Oh I love TikTok
[Ted] TikTok? No!
[Ted] It's only like 2 or 3 years old son.
[Fred] Oh yeah but... but TikTok's really cool.
[Ted] Oh no. My app is much cooler than that.
[Fred] Oh much cooler than TikTok. Oh my god.
[Fred] Well that really would be amazing
oh my god oh I'm so excited now
[Fred] Well what is it? What's this app that's so much cooler than TikTok. I really want it.
[Ted] Well prepare yourself. It's getting very exciting
now.
[Fred] I'm really excited. Oh my god. oh I can't wait to tell my friends about this amazing app that you made
[Fred] Oh my gosh
[Ted] Well the app reads out greetings cards!
[Fred] Oh! Oh! Oh! But wait sorry I think
I didn't hear you properly. I thought you said
[Fred] I thought you said.
An app that reads out greetings cards
[Ted] Yes that's right. What you would do is
you would get the greetings card you received
[Ted] Open it up for the message
[Fred] Right
[Ted] And then you would put your phone over
the message and it scans the message and...
[Ted] reads it out to you over the phone
[Fred] But you mean it just reads it out from your phone
[Fred] Like what's written that you could just read
[Ted] Yes that's right.
[Fred] But that sounds stupid
[Fred] did it have special voices?
[Fred] Oh yeah that'd be really cool with it like
special voices...
[Fred] and maybe you could make it sound like a pirate or  something like turn your voice into like a girl's voice...
[Fred] if you're a boy or a boy's voice if you're a girl or like an old lady's voice oh that'd be really cool.
[Ted] No just one voice. One male voice and that's it
[Fred] Oh well that sounds rubbish.
[Fred] Could it be used to to to... Oh I know
to read out really long documents or books
[Fred] So like an audio book and then I could take my book
[Fred] I could take my book about the bears and the bedtime and then I could use this special app
[Fred] And the special app could read me
my bedtime story oh my gosh that's really cool
[Fred] All my friends will think that's amazing
I can't wait to go and tell them all
[Fred] That sounds really cool Daddy
[Ted] Um not exactly no.
[Ted] It had a 20 word limit you see and we tried
pushing it to 30 but we didn't get the funding
[Ted] and if we tried doing 30 words, it would just start breaking. We needed more money to make it work
[Ted] To be honest it struggled even with 20 words
[Fred] Oh um... But did it like translate to like different
languages or something like that
[Fred] Let you like read it in different languages or
translate your card oh that sounds really clever
[Ted] Um no no. Just English
[Fred] Oh!
[Fred] Oh dear Um right um um...
[Fred] Oh oh I think I've got it. Oh right
It must have been for blind people. Oh yes ok.
[Ted] No no no no no we made the app
to solve a very specific problem
[Fred] Right which problem was that?
[Ted] The problem of having gift cards read out to you
[Fred] That doesn't seem like much of a problem though
[Ted] um oh well to be honest it wasn't much of
a problem to me but it was to Mr Musk
[Fred] Oh ok
[Ted] Well at least he thought it was anyway
[Fred] Oh well okay. Well at least I can
tell all my friends that my daddy is an app developer
[Fred] and that he worked with Elon Musk
That's really cool. That's really great
[Ted] Um well I didn't say I was an app developer.
No I wasn't an app developer.
[Fred] Oh well well... Oh of course not. You must have been a director or a partner or something
[Fred] and working with Mr Elon because of course
that makes much more sense...
[Fred] If you were making the app. You're still making the app but you're just helping like shape it and create it
[Fred] and working with Elon like night and day
like elbow to elbow sweating and working up all night
[Fred] and having dinners and like going out and doing like cool things together and like oh wow that's amazing
[Fred] Mr Elon Musk and my daddy are best of friends
I'm going to tell all my friends.
[Fred] And they are going to be so jealous and be like
"Oh I wish my Daddy was friends with Mr Elon Musk"
[Fred] He's really cool
[Ted] Um not excatly no to be honest if anything...
[Ted] I only saw him about once a quarter for about five minutes so no we certainly weren't best of friends no.
[Fred] No no no but you said you were a director so...
[Ted] no no you you assumed I was a director
[Fred] oh well then, what did you do?
[Ted] Oh well I had a very exciting job yes.
[Fred] Oh right ok
[Ted] I managed the privacy policy. Oh how exciting.
[Fred] What? The piracy policy?
Oh that sounds really cool
[Fred] Whoa oh amazing like so what
how to be a pirate best?
[Fred] oh I've got some ideas. You should you
should have a hook and you should have a peg leg
[Fred] and you need to have a parrot and so did it say like how many ships you had to like plunder?
[Fred] And how much gold you need to get in the
policy for being a pirate
[Ted] no no not not piracy policy no no privacy policy
[Fred] Privacy?
[Ted] Yes that's right yes.
[Fred] Do you mean like making sure that like
data and stuff is safe?
[Ted] Yes that's right. So I got to spend eight hours a
day going through a 230 page document
[Ted] Making sure that our privacy policy was was protecting the customer's data as well as possible
[Fred] Oh Wo... Wait sorry so customer's data...
so it sounds like another administration job
[Ted] Well I mean yes it's all about legal yes
[Fred] You said you helped make the app
[Ted] Yes I did make the app. Without my work
the app wouldn't function and we'd get sued.
[Fred] But it would have functioned wouldn't it?
It would just meant it wouldn't have some documents
[Ted] Yes and then they would have got sued
and lose all of their money
[Fred] Well I guess it is quite important. But it's not very cool. I mean good job Daddy.
[Ted] Oh thank you . Yes I did a very good job.
[Fred] But it's not very exciting...
[Fred] And I don't think my friends
are going to be very impressed
[Fred] Oh no I can't go in and be like my daddy works kind of for Elon Musk...
[Fred] But he never really saw him and then he just did the privacy policy. That's really boring
[Fred] I mean is there nothing that you've done
that isn't just an administrative job Daddy?
[Fred] Come on. There must be something really
cool that you've done
[Ted] oh well I did work for NASA.
[Fred] Oh my god! Really?
[Ted] Oh yes yes. That was a good job
Oh yes yes
[Fred] Wow I bet. Oh my god that's so cool.
Oh my god I want to be an astronaut so much
[Fred] That's amazing. When I go to NASA...
oh my god. Did you work at Cape Canaveral?
[Ted] Oh yes that's right.
Yes I did work at Cape Canaveral yes
[Fred] Oh my god. That's my... I always wanted to
go there that's so cool
[Fred] Did you get to go into the rocket? Oh my god
[Ted] Um... Well sometimes yes yes
[Fred] Wow! Oh my daddy got to go in the rocket?
Oh that's really really cool oh how amazing
[Fred] Oh right but you haven't been to space right?
[Ted] No I didn't get to go into space no
[Fred] So you just worked at the NASA base. Oh right
[Ted] Yes I was a key technical member there yes
[Fred] Oh were you? Oh wow that's really cool.
[Fred] You got to go in the base? That's really cool.
Did you get to go in the control room?
[Ted] Oh yes. I got to go in there every day!
[Fred] Oh wow! Oh my god you must have been
really important then. That's really really amazing
[Fred] And did you have like access
to like the special areas?
[Ted] Oh yes I had access to all the different
special areas
[Fred] Oh wow you must have been really important
This is so so cool
[Ted] Yes yes
[Fred] Oh wow! My daddy got to go to...
[Fred] go to all the different areas at Cape Canaveral
and the command center every day wow
[Fred] He must have had such an amazing big important job that's really cool
[Fred] Oh finally something I can take back to all
my friends and tell them all about at school
[Fred] and no one's going to think oh oh yeah...
[Fred] no one's going to think that they have a
better daddy than my daddy after this
[Fred] After I tell them my daddy was a...
[Ted] A head janitor!
[Fred] Wait... No... You said you had all the access to the...
You go to go in the... in the control room
[Ted] Yes that's right. To clean it.
Every day I had to go in and clean the rooms up.
[Fred] But... But... But... What? No! No no not again no!
[Fred] I thought you meant you were like a technician
or a scientist or....
[Ted] Oh! Well I'd like to think...
[Fred] Oh! I can't mention that...
[Fred] My daddy is so boring oh no
[Ted] No! My job was just important as the scientist
[Fred] Well no. I'll have to go and make something up
[Ted] No!
[Fred] I can't tell them that you were a janitor.
That's rubbish or a policy reader...
[Fred] Or an admin person that's like...
You're like a receptionist. That's boring
[Ted] My job was very important thank you very much
[Fred] No boring
[Fred] No no I will have to tell them that you're like a... 
I don't know a deep-sea shark wrestling expert
[Ted] Well why would I do that? That's very dangerous 
[Fred] Because it's cool. That's what I mean
[Fred] Or like a roller coaster technician or like... I don't know... like a knife juggler
[Fred] Really cool 
[Ted] No that's very dangerous.
[Fred] No really cool like skydiver or like 
extreme ironer or like extreme frisbee...
[Fred] or anything with the word extreme in it
that's pretty cool
[Ted] No it's not
[Fred] Yes especially if you spell it with just an X
[Ted] Right 
[Fred] A really big X and then treme
[Fred] Then it's really cool and it really appeals
to young children like me...
[Fred] because I look at it and I'm like whoa 
extreme whoa and you have to say it like that
[Fred] like extreme and then it's really really cool and so basically if you want to make something exciting...
[Fred]  just put extreme in front of it and it's really cool
[Ted] um no it doesn't
[Ted] It makes it look like it is but it's not
[Fred] Oh! Well I think I'm just gonna tell them that like you invented like the lamborghini or something
[Fred] Yes that's cool. Much much cooler yeah.
[Ted] No!
[Fred] Ok or maybe you're a pirate yeah 
[Ted] Pirate?
[Fred] Yeah then you can beat them up yeah
yeah or a UFC fighter. UFC yeah yeah
[Ted] No I'm not a UFC fighter. No. No
[Fred] No?
[Ted] Just tell them my job and they'll think it's
cool. Trust me
[Fred] Um... Which one?
[Ted] Well all of them
[Fred] okay right... okay I'll try. Oh... Really?
[Ted] Yes not many people worked for
London 2012 Olympics or for NASA
[Fred] Oh I guess... Well okay
[Ted] Or for Elon Musk
[Fred] Well that's true but did you actually 
get to speak to Elon?
[Ted] Um I got to speak to him about once a quarter
[Fred] Right okay well I guess it's something
okay well I'll try that
[Ted] Okay 
[Fred] Okay right bye Daddy. I'm going to tell them now.
[Fred] Um guys...
[Fred's Friend] What?
[Fred] My daddy's cooler than yours 
[Fred's Friend] No he's not
[Fred] Yeah he is. You said your
daddy worked for the FBI right?
[Fred] Well my daddy... my daddy he
used to work for NASA
[Fred's Friend] oh oh really?
[Fred] Yeah really cool right?
[Fred's Friend] Yeah it is really cool yeah. 
What did he do?
[Fred] Um... He was the janitor
[Fred's Friend] A space janitor! Oh wow
[Fred] No
[Fred's Friend] Wait... Do you mean a regular janitor?
[Fred] Yeah
[Fred's Friend] Oh ho ho! How stupid!
[Fred's Friend Laughs]
[Fred Cries]
[Fred] But he also used to work with Elon Musk
[Fred's Friend] Oh really? Well maybe he is cool then
[Fred] Yeah they made some app. It didn't do very well.
[Fred's Friend] Oh
[Fred] And he only got to speak to him 
once or twice before it failed
[Fred's Friend] Oh dear
[Fred] Oh dear. This is rubbish. Daddy I hate you.
