(shouting)
(crashing)
- [Host] That's the new year,
boy, that's the new year!
You're doing that-
- What?
- You're like (bleep) all
this work, we're done!
(audience laughing)
- I'm just like, that was work?
- I am like, where could you
even
get this much paper anywhere?
(audience laughing)
Like, where is just-
- Y'all didn't go to
real school, did y'all?
(audience laughing)
(crowd cheering and applauding)
- Welcome back to
Ridiculousness,
give it up for our guest, Yo
Gotti!
(crowd cheering and applauding)
Okay, so, we got a photo
of a billboard you created,
let's take a look at this real
quick.
Product of the public schools,
Yo Gotti.
Why did you throw this
up in your neighborhood?
- Actually, the public
school put it up, you know-
- Oh, they did, oh, (bleep),
what?
- Kinda like, you know, I'm a
product of the public school
and you know what I'm saying?
I come from the trenches and you
know,
I made it through the school.
I've made it up 50 to show,
you know what I'm saying?
- Okay, look, man, it's good,
that's great, that's amazing,
yeah.
(audience applauding)
- And I love public schools!
- Yeah, and look, I almost feel
bad
about the public schools
we're about to show, okay?
(audience laughing)
Because everybody in this
category,
none of them are about to do
anything.
(audience laughs)
Products of public schools, take
a look.
(audience cheering)
(energetic rock music)
- Let's do it, no, no, no, no-
I don't think, no, I don't want
to.
- [Teacher] Honestly, shut the
hell up!
(audience laughing)
- My bad, for real.
- Damn!
(audience laughing)
- That was a public school,
that was a public school.
You can always tell 'cause
the teacher always mad.
- [Teacher] Honestly, shut the
hell up!
- My bad.
- Damn!
(audience laughing)
- [Host] Yep, here I am.
I can hang here forever.
(shouting)
Oh no, okay, okay.
- [Guest] Are they sending him
up?
Oh, that would be bad, that
would be bad,
the whole school comin' down.
- Yeah, he might not be public.
(audience laughing)
- You know what I mean?
He put a tie on, and he's
trying to get in the rafters-
- [Guest] That's
definitely private school.
- Yes.
(shouting)
(audience laughing)
- [Host] Okay, now this feels
public.
Yeah.
(crashes)
(crowd groaning)
- [Kid] Zach, it's (bleep)in'
Zach, what the (bleep)?
(audience laughing)
- He probably lost his
girlfriend or something.
- Yeah, yeah.
(audience laughing)
- Somebody might've just took
his girl.
- Zach did.
- [Kid] It's (bleep)in' Zach,
what the-
- [Host] Zach don't want
nothing to do with this.
(audience laughing)
- No she not, no she not, no she
not.
Oh!
(audience groaning)
- She's pissed right here.
Hey, whatever he did, she
did not approve of it.
(audience laughing)
- That's not even
your diploma though, they
mail you your diploma,
she (bleeped) up.
- Oh, that's how it work?
(audience laughing)
- Yeah, yeah.
- Is that how it works?
- They mail that (bleep) to you,
yeah.
- Straight up.
- Yeah.
- Damn, I missed out.
(audience laughing)
- One, two, three, go!
- Okay, here we go.
(shouting)
Here we go.
(thunk)
(audience groaning)
Okay, must be public if you're
gonna
put him all the way into the
ceiling.
Okay, let's talk about
graduating.
It's one of the funnest
things in the world,
people tell me so, okay?
(laughing)
- Graduating was, it was big for
me.
- Yeah, was it amazing or what?
- I even get into it
with all of my teachers,
they all hated me, so when they
watched me
walk across that stage,
and they were happy,
and I was happy too.
- Oh, okay.
- I was like, (bleep) all y'all.
- Man, man, tell me what
that silky robe feels like.
- [Sterling] It feels amazing.
- And that really nice silky
hat?
- And I had three graduations,
I had kindergarten-
- What the (bleep)?
(audience laughing)
- Chicago, you do kindergarten,
which is, I don't know why.
You're like, you're just,
you just, you're six,
that's all that's happening.
And then you do eighth grade,
then you do high school.
- Well, look, I didn't get any
of those.
Like, not only did I not get any
of those
and didn't make it to the high
school one.
Never thought about college.
But the thing that makes me sad
is like,
I didn't even, wasn't
even offered a pre-K one.
(laughing)
Well, you didn't hit me
with an eighth grade one?
Like, I literally missed
out on ever feeling silky.
But maybe, just maybe I got
lucky that I didn't get hurt
like everybody in this first
category, cap and frowns!
(audience cheering and
applauding)
- Yo, what's up?
- Yeah?
- Let's roll!
- Oh, oh!
- Oh, way too excited to leave.
- Man.
- How do you just
skip all the steps?
He just walked right there-
(audience laughing)
Oh man.
You ain't ever gonna-
- Oh, oh, oh!
- [Sterling] Gimme get that
diploma away.
- [Host] Yeah, let's bring this
mother(bleep)er to graduation.
- I feel like that dog ate his
homework all through college.
(audience laughing)
- Here, take this.
- No, I like this!
I'll take the diploma, thank
you.
(audience laughing)
Oh, he's a tough negotiator.
We're all graduating here.
You didn't make it.
- Look at it, look at it!
(audience laughing)
Look, the RC is like,
this isn't awkward at all.
- Damn, that's like,
I thought it was like a high
school girl.
It's like a 40-year-old woman.
(audience laughing)
- [Announcer] Acme, Demitri,
Eptein, Saul-
- [Sterling] Who's doing
down, who's going down?
- [Host] Whoa, whoa!
(thump)
(audience groaning)
- That was never gonna be a
backflip!
He is out of control there, look
at that!
(audience laughing)
And he's never doing that-
- [Host] It's like
remarkable that you could be
six feet in the air and
not even close to flipping.
- Yeah, it is.
(audience laughing)
- Hee-yah!
(thunk)
Okay, I've had enough of this
(bleep)!
Aw, man.
- You didn't do it right if
you didn't do it this way.
(audience laughing)
- [Host] Here we go.
Whoa!
(audience groans)
What's up, bitch?
- Oh, he didn't graduate.
- Oh, man.
There's the high school dropout
bully.
- Yeah.
(audience laughing)
- Showin' up to your big
day to stomp you out.
Where's his family at?
They're like, nah.
- Somebody need to jump in here.
(audience laughing)
- There you have it for cap and
frowns.
(audience cheering and
applauding)
Mr. Rochelle, clearly you got
out a lot of fans out there.
- Everyone's an idiot!
(audience laughing)
You're all idiots!
(audience laughing)
- Okay, Mr. Rochelle, beyond
being a substitute teacher
of the decade, I'd like to
focus on what you do best.
Okay?
(audience laughing)
- I think he's more
focused on me right now.
- You like what you see
there, Mr. Rochelle?
(grunts)
(audience laughing)
- [Blonde Woman] Okay.
- Let's keep it professional.
(audience laughing)
- Well, let's take a look
at a video of what it's like
to be Mr. Rochelle on a daily
basis.
Take a look.
(upbeat funky music)
(bell ringing)
- Mr. Rochelle was born
a not idiot!
You were born an idiot.
(audience laughing)
- And I have a question, sir.
- [Mr. Rochelle] Can
I give you a nickname?
- [Student] Sure.
- Idiot.
I wish I could do a head
count on who's an idiot.
You idiot! (slaps)
(audience laughing)
(audience cheering and
applauding)
- I mean, USAA substitute
teacher of the decade,
obviously, you're known for
your great schoolwork, okay?
Lemme ask you something.
What do you do to deal
with crazy students?
- I don't talk to 'em, they're
idiots.
(audience laughing)
- Okay.
Well, this very first
category is dedicated
to those students that
you may not wanna talk to,
it's called classholes.
(audience laughing)
(laughing)
(clattering)
- Aw, yeah!
I'm wearin' my graduation
overalls!
- That kid has style.
(audience laughing)
- [Host] Oh, we're cleanin'.
(crashing)
(audience groaning)
- Mess up the goddamn floor.
(audience laughing)
- Get in there, big red!
(thump)
(crowd groaning)
- That's an idiot.
Can you guys say idiot?
- [Audience] Idiot!
(audience laughing)
- [Host] Put me in, coach!
(crashing)
(audience groaning)
- How did he miss that?
I could jump higher on my pogo
stick.
(audience laughing)
- There we go, full power!
Man, I can jump so high, I'm-
(crashing)
(audience laughing)
Oh yeah.
Go back, go back, go
back, go back, go back.
- What makes you think
you could jump higher
without your shoes?
(audience laughing)
(crashing)
(audience laughing)
- Let's go!
- You ready?
- [Host] This is gonna work
perfect,
I'll run as fast as I
can, (bleep) whip you.
Yipe!
(shrieking)
(audience groaning)
- It looks like, you know
when, what do you call it?
I'm not an idiot, but
when people have babies-
- Umbilical cord?
- They've got that, what is that
called?
- Umbilical cord.
- Yeah, you're an idiot.
(audience laughing)
- All right.
- Mr. Rochelle, have you
ever had any students
that got out of line with you
and you had to put 'em back in
line?
- Yes, I can't tell you what I
did though.
(audience laughing)
I spit on children.
- Okay.
(audience laughing)
- Okay.
- I didn't go to college.
Shanelle didn't go to college.
I think you went to
college for like a year.
- I did go to college, yeah.
- Yeah?
- For a year.
I was like, (bleep) this.
(audience laughs)
- Why do you think
colleges have so much more
school spirit than high schools?
- 'Cause they know they've
made it from high school.
- Well, no, nope, alcohol
has become involved.
- That's true!
(audience laughs)
You know what, that's true.
- Man, the party detective, man.
- Yeah, she is!
(audience laughing)
- The party detective,
I wouldn't have even-
No, no, no, no, no, no, like,
in high school you're sober,
now you're drunk at USC,
so you're like, fight on,
Trojans!
(audience laughing)
- Yeah, (bleep).
- Just like everybody in this
category with school spirit.
Take a look.
(audience cheering and
applauding)
Aw yeah.
- Alcohol right away.
- Yup!
- Alcohol, party detective!
(audience laughing)
- [Host] You're drunk!
- Go Blazers!
- Go Trojans!
- In my head, that was his foot,
and I was like, how is that his
foot?
(audience laughing)
That man is flexible!
- They buried him like this.
(audience laughing)
- Could be.
- [Woman] What do you care
about?
- I only care about gettin'
drunk and go Gamecocks.
- Man, what part of me thought
that
every one of these clips
would have alcohol in it?
And when she said it like, oh
no,
school spirit comes from
alcohol,
I'm like, well, that seems a
little crazy.
But maybe now every clip is
somebody drunk
with school spirit.
(audience laughing)
- Of course.
- Let's go Mountaineers!
- [Sterling] Of course, party
detective strikes again!
Man!
(shatters)
- [Host] Oh!
- Oh!
(audience groaning)
That is a bad cut!
- He said, oh, mother(bleep)!
What he talking to?
- And it's (bleep)!
- He's talking to the opposing
team, wherever they are.
(audience laughing)
Ah, you work too hard, you work
too hard.
- [Shanelle] This is not good.
- [Sterling] No, it's not.
This ain't with a
stretcher, it's a blanket.
- We've carried too many people
out,
we're out of stretchers.
(audience laughing)
- [Sterling] They need to
fold it up like a burrito.
(audience laughing)
- Go Green!
- Go Green!
And everybody in this next
category
are all getting embarrassed at
school.
We call it time to transfer.
Take a look.
(audience cheering and
applauding)
Nah, lemme show you how good I
am.
This ain't gymnastics, baby-
(crashing)
(audience groaning)
- Don't do that, just don't do
that.
- Man!
Extra dumb, listen, make
sure the table don't wobble.
If I got a steady the table, you
got it?
You holding it?
All right.
(crashing)
(audience groaning)
He moved the table.
That's the only reason why.
- [Host] Aw (bleep), here comes
dad.
There ain't nobody embarrassed
of an Olympian dad,
I can tell you that right now!
- Man.
- Oh man, don't find him.
Son, let 'em know you
look good in a Speedo!
Oh, man, oh.
(audience laughing)
Man, man, and now you
realize he was leaked
all the way over in the corner.
Just kept going, kept getting
tighter.
- I respect it, I respect it.
- [Host] Easy, I could
jump through anything.
(clanking)
(audience groaning)
- Oh my gosh.
What was the goal?
- The goal was like, I heard
if you hit your head hard,
you get smarter.
(audience laughing)
He got a little starter, at
least it-
(clank)
(audience groaning)
- Oh my gosh!
- Oh my gosh!
- The goal was to hit his head.
- [Host] And basically,
soccer and basketball
are just like the same of
nothing.
(audience groaning)
(crashing)
- For what's that one?
It was on the board, it said
goodbye.
(audience laughing)
Goodbye.
- He panicked, there was moments
in there, and he was like,
and that's why basketball
and soccer go hand in hand.
(audience laughing)
- Like doosh.
- Yeah, he didn't get anything
back.
- [Host] Don't you get
crossed up by the lord, now,
don't you get crossed up, oh!
(audience cheering and
applauding)
Oh my gosh!
I didn't have have the
opportunity
to experience my senior
year of high school.
I had other plans.
(audience laughing)
Here, can you guys tell
me what it was like?
- I didn't experience it either.
- Okay.
(audience laughs)
- Sterling for me and Shanelle,
who didn't quite understand-
- But I didn't know y'all had
(bleep) experiences in your-
Like, no one, I've been working
with y'all all this time,
and never knew that either one
of y'all-
- Look, two thirds of this show,
two thirds of this show do not
understand
what it's like to be a senior.
- Well, it's cool, I mean,
it's your senior year.
Like, you know, you have
to do a little less work
because you've done all the
work for the past three years.
- Okay, so it's a fake year.
(audience laughing)
So we didn't miss anything.
- It's not fake, not fake
anything, you missed a lot!
- I don't think so.
- I don't think so either.
- Did you go on prom by
yourself?
- No, I went to-
- With who, at homeschool?
(audience laughing)
I usually met her at
(bleep) dance at school.
(audience laughing)
I got one girl that paid
me to go on prom with her.
- Damn.
- What?
- I swear to God, it was crazy,
yeah.
- [Host] Okay, yeah, I mean-
- Shout out to you.
- I mean, that might be-
- [Host] Shout out to you!
- That might be a link
for you now. (laughs)
- Going to prom?
- I think the adult version
is he would just be a hooker.
(audience laughing)
- Yeah.
You didn't even call me a
gigolo, I'm a (bleep)in' hooker.
(audience laughing)
- I just, I just got so
excited to call him a hooker.
(audience laughing)
(bleep), I just wanted to get it
out.
I just wanted to get the
(bleep) to get it out.
(audience laughing)
But look, I can only imagine
that it feels really great
towards the end of the year
because you know it's really
over.
That's what everybody in
this category's feeling.
We call it senioritis!
(audience clapping and cheering)
- [Announcer] All rise
for the national anthem.
- [Host] Comin' in with
my trumpet, what's up?
(audience laughing)
- [Teacher] Get out of here now.
(playing "The Star-Spangled
Banner")
♪ The trumpet ♪
(audience laughing)
- Get out now.
- Thank you, thank you for your
time.
- Teachers put up with
so much (bleep), man.
- Yeah, that's all I think about
when I watch this category,
I just think, damn, these
(bleep)in' kids.
(audience laughing)
- [Student] When I say slavery,
you say, sorry, slavery!
- [Students] Sorry.
(audience laughing)
- (bleep), that was (bleep)
indeed!
I would've done this!
I love that only three
people were apologetic!
I guess.
- He literally,
literally caught 'em, caught
'em.
- [Student] When I say slavery,
you say sorry, slavery!
- [Students] Sorry.
- [Student] Thanks, guys,
happy Black History Month.
(audience laughing)
- That person's amazing.
- Three-
- [Host] Here we go.
(singing "Happy Birthday" in
Spanish)
- [Student] They're onto
you, they're onto you.
- Okay, all right, (bleep) your
phone!
(crowd groaning)
Oh, he's so hurt!
I just loved that like,
no words were necessary.
(audience laughing)
Like, you can go real
far with this teacher,
but you can not selfie with him.
Lemme see, no!
But he knows it's wrong.
And they do a stare down of like
knowing that both are wrong,
but not sure who's really to
blame here.
(audience laughing)
- [Sterling] Who goes through
the principal's office?
- [Host] Like, okay, I smashed
that, look.
(audience laughing)
Anyway, I think I'm fired,
that's it for class today.
(audience laughing)
Aw yeah.
(laughing)
And I'm lactose intolerant, man!
(audience laughing)
I'll risk it all for lunch time
glory.
(audience laughing)
- [Crowd] Three, two, one!
(shrieks)
(rustling)
- [Sterling] That's senior year,
bro!
That's senior year!
- What?
- You do that!
- You do what?
- [Sterling] You're like,
(bleep)
all this work, we're done!
- They give kids that much work?
- I was like, where could you
even get
this much paper anywhere?
Like, where is it even?
- Y'all didn't even go to
a real school, did y'all?
(audience laughing)
- Okay, it's still going.
- Like a avalanche.
- [Host] Okay, now, okay.
Here come the bodies, here come
bodies.
(audience laughing)
- [Sterling] Here come the
bodies.
- [Host] Okay, there's one,
okay, that one's skiing!
(audience laughing)
- Boy, he really went
sledding down the hill!
- Lewis Howes is one of my good
friends
and Lewis Howes is a man that
inspires millions of people
all over the world, okay?
He's got a podcast called
The School of Greatness,
he's got his own show
coming out on Facebook.
Okay, he's got best selling
books!
(audience cheering and
applauding)
But explain to the people
School of Greatness
and its mission.
- School of Greatness
is really to help people
unlock their inner greatness.
You know, we all go
through challenges in life.
We have different fears,
different
doubts, but we're unique.
All of us are unique in our own
way
and the goal is to pursue our
dreams
with a hundred percent passion
and make an impact on this
planet.
- That was it.
(audience cheering and
applauding)
Hey, and that's not what we do
here, okay?
(audience laughing)
So we decided to set it off
with not The School of
Greatness,
but The School of Wackness.
Take a look.
- All right.
(crowd cheering and applauding)
- [Host] I got it, I always
have!
(crowd groaning)
- Oh snap!
- He didn't do no measurements,
(audience laughing)
no research.
- He can't be too feet from the
court.
Oh!
(audience groans)
Where does his head go?
- Look how high, oh my gosh!
- He's fine, he's happy.
(audience laughing)
(clattering)
- Okay.
(audience groaning)
- I just love that he missed,
like, how white are you that you
missed?
(audience laughing)
It is right there, bro!
- Two inches.
(audience laughing)
- THere's no greatness
going on here, guys.
- [Lewis] No.
- [Host] I got the spirit
and the spirit is in you!
(bleep)
(crashes)
(audience groaning)
- What are you, what are you
listening to?
- Boxtrolls.
- I'm pretty sure was doing
nap time behind her back.
(audience laughing)
She totally woke her-
- Wake your ass up!
(audience laughing)
- [Host] What he's trying
to do is understand
how many licks it takes
to get to the center
of this lollipop.
- [Sterling] That's
not even a Tootsie Pop!
- [Shanelle] It's adorable!
- That's hilarious.
- Okay?
- Oh, snap!
- Oh!
- He forgot which one to lick.
He forgot which one to lick.
- [Speaker] And the future
is full of wonder and
possibility-
- [Host] The future of
wonder, I'm (bleep)-
- He's gonna make it.
- I'm Dan Jones.
(audience laughing)
Look, this is the epitome
of a high level graduate
of the School of Wackness, okay?
(audience laughing)
There you have it for School of
Wackness.
(audience cheering and
applauding)
Okay, of every single person
that ever goes to college,
what percentage do you think
was basically drunk the entire
time?
(audience laughing)
- At least 50%.
- I'm gonna say, the entire
time, 50%?
I was gonna say, 30, 30 yeah.
- I think Shanelle's right here.
(audience laughing)
- 50%?
- Yeah, I think for the most-
- I know a lot of people
who went to college and-
- I went to college and
I didn't drink at all.
But did you graduate?
- No, I didn't actually-
- How many years did you go?
(audience laughing)
- Look, if you drunk,
then you graduate when,
when you get sober, you
like, this some bull(bleep),
I'm leaving.
(audience laughing)
- Right, look, this next
category,
every single parent that
shows up in here is devastated
and disappointed because
they just wasted tuition.
Take a look.
(audience cheering and
applauding)
- Almost done, bro.
- [Host] Heck yeah, it's my
seventh year!
- What the (bleep)?
(audience laughing)
- Is this what you're learning
there, to drink beer fast?
Charles, we gotta get him out.
- What the (bleep)?
So disappointed, all that money,
wasted!
- [Girl] Yes, yes, you got
it, you got it, yeah, yeah!
(shrieking)
- [Host] Oh boy.
(audience laughing)
- He asked the mama, did
you, did you see him?
(audience laughing)
As soon as she left, he was
like, I'm proud of you, boy.
(audience laughing)
- [Host] Oh lord!
- Really, Sam?
Are you fricking kidding me?
(audience laughing)
I can't believe you do that
(bleep).
(audience laughing)
- Well, it's either this or get
a job.
(audience laughing)
Yeah.
- I'm so proud.
(audience laughing)
- Oh, man, oh.
- I feel like she meant that.
- Of course she did, look,
her husband's holding a soup
glass, like.
- [Sterling] A historic lump.
(audience laughing)
- Oh boy, she's done this
before.
(audience laughing)
What you have done?
I just, not my baby girl.
- She's looking at her, like,
I see so much of you in me.
(audience laughing)
- That is just simply the
look of disappointment.
There you have it for wasted
tuition!
(audience cheering and
applauding)
