You've seen The Rock fight giant animals,
escape the jungle,
and navigate a crumbling city in a helicopter.
Now, watch The Rock fight giant animals who've escaped the jungle
while navigating a crumbling city in a helicopter
before you see him get chased by a helicopter into a crumbling building.
Dang, the guy makes so many movies, the Honest Trailer for his last one comes out the same week as his new one.
Based on the 80's arcade game where you slap a button until your giant ape turns into a tiny naked guy
comes a film that's only slightly less ridiculous
with action that feels like it was drawn up by a little kid with a box of crayons
and dialogue that feels like it was written by a little kid with a box of crayons.
"Because all of our research was on that space station."
Meet The Rock.
He's your everyday, average primatologist, poacher, hunter, ex-Special Forces, former helicopter pilot.
When his bro-rilla George gets infected with outer space growth hormone,
he'll have to use every skill he learned...
communicating with Vin Diesel on the set of Fast 8
"You're sad.
It's OK."
to take down a team of giant monsters,
though he could've done it all himself
because just like most of his other films,
The Rock's character is literally invulnerable.
"Well, I think she missed all the vital organs, but, uh, don't jinx it."
But no man rampages alone.
He'll get help from people like Naomie Harris...'s agent,
who somehow convinced her this was a good follow-up to Moonlight,
as she plays a scientist who put every animal's DNA into a cocktail shaker just to see what would happen
"We worked with bat DNA."
"The growth rate of a blue whale, the strength of a rhinoceros beetle."
"African spider mouse.
Its DNA makes it capable of extreme regeneration."
and Jeffrey Dean Morgan,
the government agent who's more down south than a jug of moonshine,
"Hell of a day, huh?"
twangier than the cast of Deliverance at a Cracker Barrel,
"Well, well, well, looky here. Stealing the hospital whirlybird."
and redneckier than a biscuit with gravy served on a Confederate flag hubcap.
"Thank you for getting this old cowboy off that plane."
Aw, Jeffrey, bless your heart, but you're from Seattle.
Y'all need to tone it down a little bit.
"Alright, c'mon, let's git."
So if you're looking for a pile of one-liners and CGI gorilla fights held together by duct tape and a likable star,
you'll love The Rock's latest city destroying adventure.
But if you're looking for logic and depth from the monster punching video game movie,
then brother, you're about as dumb as a...
pair of scissors.
Yep, that's totally what I was gonna say.
Please don't hurt me.
Hey, The Rock really did teach that gorilla everything he knew!
