 
Dealing With Suicide

Rebekah Prewitt

Copyright ©2019 by Billy and Rebekah Prewitt

All rights reserved. The use of short quotations or occasional page copying for personal or group study is permitted and encouraged. Other permissions will likely be granted upon request.

Unless noted, all Scripture references are taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version.

Names of individuals and details of the stories have often been changed.

# Dedication

To The Bride of Christ

# Table of Contents

#### Introduction
#### Chapter 1

Did They Know What They Were Doing?

#### Chapter 2

I Want to Know. Did My Daughter Go to Heaven or Hell?

#### Chapter 3

False Consolation

#### Chapter 4

True Consolation

#### Chapter 5

Why Do People Commit Suicide?

#### Chapter 6

How to Help the Suicidal

#### Conclusion

#### Notes

#### Appendix

# Introduction

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.

— _Luke 4:18_

Dear Friend,

Jesus wants to heal you! He came to heal the brokenhearted and to set at liberty them that are bruised. Maybe it has only been ten days and the shock is fresh. Maybe it has been ten years, yet hot tears still stream down your face. Either way, I would like to remind you that because He lives, you can face tomorrow! If you have lost someone to suicide, I hope this book will be instrumental in your healing process. If you would like to help those who are contemplating suicide, then this book will also serve as a useful resource. This book is not intended to stir up your emotions. We know that feelings cannot be trusted because they fluctuate by the moment. Rather, I would like to stir your intellect to help you "continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel" (Colossians 1:23).

"My heart almost burst out of my body," said Oral Roberts after hearing of his son's suicide. Losing a loved one to natural death is hard enough, but to lose a loved one to suicide compounds that grief. The torrent of emotions and questions that flood the heart is overwhelming. The shock and numbing effect seems to encapsulate the whole body. What in the world can anyone possibly have to offer the bereaved in such a time like this? Words, money, flowers, and cards are totally inadequate to bring comfort and healing to the ruptured heart, yet in spite of the pain, the question of the eternal fate of that loved one haunts the mind. Where did they go?

As a Christian counselor, I look directly to the Bible for the answers to my clients problems. Some might think this approach is narrow minded, but I know that the Bible can be trusted.

It has been noted that there are over 150 ways to practice secular counseling, and none of them agree. Unlike these secular methods, I have learned that the Bible is the only book that properly addresses all the pain and struggles in the human heart and provides the precise diagnosis to deal with each of those issues—even suicide. I realize that some say the Bible is silent on the issue of suicide; however, this is simply not true. As you read this book, you will discover that the Bible, both Old and New Testaments, has real answers related to suicide.

Why can we trust the Bible? Unlike any other book, the Bible has an amazing advantage in that it is not just black and red letters laid out on pages. Rather, it is a living document. This means that every word was breathed by the Holy Spirit of God. The Apostle Peter tells us that "holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost" (2 Peter 1:21). This means that we can't discount any part of it. The Apostle Paul also teaches that "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works" (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

The Bible, my friend, is not a bunch of made-up tales. It can be trusted. Peter tells us, "For we have not followed cunningly devised fables, when we made known unto you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but were eyewitnesses of his majesty" (2 Peter 1:16). Another eyewitness, the Apostle John, states, "That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ" (1 John 1:3).

The Bible is truly amazing! It isn't a wonder that Christians through the ages have endured terrible beatings, harsh and despicable conditions, and have died cruel deaths rather than surrender to any other teachings. A Christian prisoner in Cuba was asked to sign a statement containing charges against fellow Christians that would lead to their arrest. He said, "The chain keeps me from signing this."

The Communist officer protested, "But you are not in chains!"

"I am," said the Christian. "I am bound by the chain of witnesses who throughout the centuries gave their lives for Jesus Christ. I am a link in this chain. I will not break it."1

What does this have to do with suicide, you wonder? If there ever was a place to look for the answers to life and death, the Bible is that place. It is never outdated. It never needs a new edition, and it is just as alive today for our modern times and our modern problems as it was for others years ago. It plainly tells us, "His truth endureth to all generations" (Psalms 100:5). As you will see shortly, it is certainly not silent on suicide, but heralds out the answers we need if we would only give ear to it.

# Chapter 1 – Did They Know What They Were Doing?

I never knew all there was in the Bible until I spent those years in jail. I was constantly finding new treasures.

— _John Bunyan 1_

Three weeks later, I saw Ronnie for the last time on this earth. He wanted to borrow several hundred dollars. I emptied my wallet and said, "This is the last I'll ever give you, Ronnie. Buying more drugs is self-defeating...You've got to make a quality decision to let God break your bondage. I've prayed. I've felt the power of God in me to set you free, but I can't make up your mind for you...Settle it, Ronnie, my dear son, once and for all."

He left.

A few days later,...Richard drove up. He was ashen faced. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Dad, get in my car and let me drive you home."

I got in. I knew something bad had happened.

"The police have just informed us that Ronnie is dead."

My heart almost burst out of my body. "What happened?"

"They think it was suicide."

...Not long after Ronnie's death, Dr. Kenneth Hagin, Sr., and his wife, Oretha, phoned that they would like to come by and give us a word from the Lord...

This prophet of God said, ... "Oral and Evelyn, the Lord wants you to know your son has not gone to hell..."

Then he told Evelyn and me that he had prayed with many people who had a family member commit suicide. He said, "In every case, the person who committed suicide had not known what he was doing."

Dr. Hagin gave us the answer that we needed.2

To anyone suffering from the life-shocking event of losing a loved one to suicide, these words spoken by this "prophet of God" would bring great hope and peace just as they did to this famous American healing evangelist, Oral Roberts. Let us, however, evaluate two of these statements.

1. "The Lord wants you to know your son has not gone to hell."

2. "In every case, the person who committed suicide had not known what he was doing."

One must ask if what Dr. Hagin said is actually true.

Let's examine his latter statement first: "In every case, the person who committed suicide had not known what he was doing." Like those of Berea (Acts 17:11), we must also search the Scriptures and ask if the Bible has any examples of people who committed suicide and their state of mind before this act? Did they know what they were doing?

The answer is an unequivocal "yes." The Bible provides several examples of people who committed suicide and their state of mind before committing the act. The most obvious example is that of Judas Iscariot. After he betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver, it is recorded,

Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? see thou to that. And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself (Matthew 27:3-5).

In describing Judas's death in more detail, Peter added that Judas "falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out" (Acts 1:18).

Did Judas know what he was doing?

Another example is that of Ahithophel, counselor to both King David and Absalom. When Ahithophel learned that his counsel was rejected by Absalom and the people, "he saddled his ass, and arose, and gat him home to his house, to his city, and put his household in order, and hanged himself, and died, and was buried in the sepulchre of his father" (2 Samuel 17:23).

Did Ahithophel know what he was doing?

I am sure you are familiar with the first king of Israel, King Saul. When the Philistine armies pursued after him, for fear of them, Saul commanded his armour-bearer, "Draw thy sword, and thrust me through therewith; lest these uncircumcised come and thrust me through, and abuse me. But his armourbearer would not; for he was sore afraid. Therefore Saul took a sword, and fell upon it" (1 Samuel 31:4).

Did king Saul know what he was doing?

In addition, following in King Saul's footsteps, it is recorded of Saul's armor bearer, "And when his armourbearer saw that Saul was dead, he fell likewise upon his sword, and died with him" (1 Samuel 31:5).

Did this armor bearer know what he was doing?

Lastly, another king of Israel, Zimri comes to mind. "And it came to pass, when Zimri saw that the city was taken, that he went into the palace of the king's house, and burnt the king's house over him with fire, and died" (1 Kings 16:18).

Did Zimri know what he was doing?

As we can see, in each of these Biblical cases, conscious and deliberate actions were taken by each of these individuals to terminate their own lives.

#### What if the Person Was on Drugs or Mentally Ill?

One might argue, however, that none of the above examples was on drugs, mentally ill, unstable, or insane; therefore, those who take their lives under these kinds of conditions really do not know what they are doing. I believe this argument can be best answered with this clear example taken from Mark chapter five. In this passage, we find that Jesus and His disciples encountered a man named Legion. The text states,

Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains: Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him. And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones. But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him (Mark 5:1-6).

To reiterate, this man:

1. Lived in the graveyard

2. Broke chains and shackles off of himself when he was restrained

3. Could not be controlled by anyone

4. Night and day was in the mountains and in the tombs

5. Always crying

6. Always cutting himself with stones

7. Wore no clothes (according to Luke's account in Luke 8:27)

Would you consider this guy to be a respectable human being, or would you look at the actions of this man and think that he was nuts? His own society could not deal with him, so I would presume to say that today's society would also condemn him to an mental institution. Occasionally, my husband and I drive through an upscale neighborhood in Jacksonville, Florida, where they have a sign posted, "Drive Like Your Kids Live Here." I doubt that these people would want this guy to be roaming around in their fancy neighborhood and especially near their children, yet even though this man was insane, possibly on the verge of suicide, and in a most depraved state when he saw Jesus, the Bible says, "he ran and worshipped him." What does this surprising action teach us? It tells us that even though this man had many many problems, he was not so impaired as to prevent him from crying out to Jesus.

Again we ask the question: Is it true that "in every case, the person who committed suicide had not known what he was doing," as Dr. Hagin said earlier? Based on the Biblical examples, it seems the Bible teaches contrary to Dr. Hagin. In each of the Biblical cases from Judas to Zimri, the persons who committed suicide were in possession of their reason. Reason and awareness are also easily documented realities even in non-Biblical cases of the suicidal. This further leads us to question Dr. Hagin's conclusion. While there are hundreds of examples of cognizant suicides, I will conclude this chapter with two that did not actually end in suicide to illustrate the point that these people were indeed aware and deliberate in their actions.

Rose was a crack addict. In her own words, Rose stated,

For over thirty years of my life I was involved in smoking crack. I finally reached a point where I wanted to just end it all. I felt that my family, world, and even God would be better off without me! I was going to commit suicide. I was going to cut my wrists. I was laying flat on my back in my bed and I just looked up to the ceiling and I told the Lord, I said "Lord, I don't want to die like this." I started to cry out to the Lord and asked him "Can You save me just one more time?" So, the next thing I know Pacific Garden Mission came to my mind and I know it wasn't nobody but God because I was all alone. I was like why do I have to go there? I can stay here. Can't you work a miracle here? But He told me to go and I said "Okay God, I am going to step out on faith and I am going to trust You and I am going to go to that place."3

Did Rose know what she was doing?

The second example is that of Glenda Revell. As a child, Glenda was savagely beaten, molested by her father over and over again, and lived with a cold and abusive alcoholic mother. As an adult, Glenda still suffered from the scars of her abusive past and battled serious depression. While working as a nurse, Glenda came to the point that she decided to end it all by overdosing on her patient's medications. Trained to save and care for lives, Glenda was now willing to take her own. She writes,

My senior year was full of pain, and my depression deepened. . . No one could ever want me, I thought. I'll never be married, never have the children I long for. My life has no purpose at all. I would be better off dead. I not only thought that, I believed it with all my heart. Ending my life appeared to be the perfect solution to all of my problems nightmares and pain. . . When my patients went home, I sorted through the leftover medications and kept the ones I wanted. . . I had no intention of doing a halfway job. I needed plenty of pills. In about three months I had more than enough.4

Glenda's deadly plans, however, were wonderfully interrupted. The same night that Glenda was planning to kill herself, she saw a Christian brochure that read, "God's Four Steps to Salvation." Glenda said, "It couldn't hurt to read something religious before I die, I reasoned." Later, I will share more of Glenda's story, but for now, I will simply ask the same question.

Did Glenda know what she was doing?

Based on all of these Biblical and non-Biblical examples, we can conclude that conscious, careful, and intentional efforts were taken by each of these suicidal persons. Even in the state of what some might term mental illness, such as the depressed state of the two women above, or insanity, such as the man Jesus found in the tombs, the person was fully aware and possessed the ability to act with the will.

Now that we have evaluated Dr. Hagin's latter statement finding it to be Biblically and practically incorrect, let's turn our attention to his first statement: "The Lord wants you to know your son has not gone to hell." Is this another false statement, or was he right on this one?

What happens to a loved one who commits suicide? Do they go to heaven, or do they go to hell?

# Chapter 2 - I Want to Know. Did My Daughter Go to Heaven or Hell?

"My daughter must have slept with a hundred men before she died. She killed herself by putting a gun to her head. My church told me that she went to heaven. I want to believe it is true, but I am still struggling with it. I want to know. Did my daughter go to heaven or hell?" This was the question of a mother who visited our church for the first time. Coming with a heavy heart, she was desperately seeking answers.

Maybe this is a question that you are wrestling with yourself? What is the answer?

#### Learning From Jesus

After Jesus' baptism, He was led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil. When He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He was hungry, and in the midst of that physical state of weakness, He was faced with the devil's temptations. Who would have ever guessed that Jesus would be tempted to commit suicide, but He was. Matthew records,

Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple, And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone (Matthew 4:5-6).

The devil could not have picked a better statement to quote. Would Jesus, being the very Son of God, jump to find out if God the Father would indeed send His angels to bear Him up? Would He reason within Himself—After all, this is my Father. He loves me. He will not let me die. Would He think, Well, My Father and I are a family forever. Nothing can separate us. Would He reason this way? Absolutely not. It does not appear that Jesus considered for even a moment testing God. Instead, Jesus quoted Deuteronomy 6:16 to the devil: "It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God" (Matthew 4:7).

Why would Jesus give this kind of response to the devil? Why would He use the word "tempt"? Why didn't He say, "Get away from me devil," instead? The answer is simple. Jesus used the word "temp" to describe exactly what the devil was doing—and that was tempt. It is an interesting thing when you call someone out on the carpet, or hit them where it hurts. Jesus did not miss the mark but clearly identified the devil's motive. We notice in the other two temptations of Christ, Jesus did not specifically use the word "tempt." Instead, He used what was necessary for those occasions, but for this occasion, Jesus clearly pointed out to the devil and to us that this was tempting God. But, how? How is what the devil said, "If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down..." really tempting God?

Most of us are already aware that in Moses' Law, God said, "Thou shalt not kill" (Exodus 20:13). "Kill" here is speaking of murder. Simply put, it is unlawful to murder. Then in the New Testament, Jesus refreshed the law to the rich young man who asked Him, "Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?" Jesus responded, "Thou shalt do no murder" (Matthew 19:16-18). So, how is this tempting God? The command was clearly given: "Thou shall not kill." When God says not to do something and we presumptuously do it anyway, we are tempting Him. We are forcing Him to respond. Paul says in the New Testament, "Neither let us tempt Christ" (1 Corinthians 10:9). Briefly, let me illustrate by sharing my own sad experience of tempting God. Hopefully, I have learned not to do this again.

I had a problem with a lady, and I knew that the Bible told me that I needed to practice the Matthew 18:15 principle: "Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother." I was hesitant, however, and fearful of confronting the situation. My husband and I were at the grocery store when I saw Fran's car pull up. We were about to leave to go home. I knew I should go over and talk to Fran; however, I resisted. Strangely enough, right when we were about to get into the truck, my husband accidentally locked our keys in the vehicle. Now we were stuck in the parking lot and had to wait for a locksmith. In the meantime, my husband was trying to pop the lock so we could get into the vehicle, but he was having no success. Now, I definitely had time to go and talk to Fran, but I didn't go. Instead, I whispered a prayer to God: "Lord, if you want me to go talk to Fran, let this door latch pop up." I was hoping that this would be a sure sign from God, but the latch did not pop up. Suddenly, I was quickened to the fact that what I was doing was tempting God. I already knew what I was supposed to do. I did not need to make my obedience contingent on God performing a sign. So, shakily I went over to talk to Fran.

I was trying to force God to respond even though I had already had His clear instruction. When we know the rule and disobey the rule, we are boldly tempting God. The devil knew the command of God not to kill, yet he was still perfectly willing to find another text in the Bible that he could twist to say, "It is okay for you to do this Jesus, because God has made provision for your protection already—so go ahead and jump." When we know what to do, we need not argue or wrestle with it.

Fortunately, Jesus was not willing to tempt God even though He Himself was being tempted. One might argue, Yes, but that was Jesus. True. You are correct, but may I remind you that the Scriptures says of Jesus, that He "was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin" (Hebrews 4:15). If Jesus had jumped off the Temple's pinacle, Jesus would have committed a sin. This leads us to conclude that people who take their own lives have indeed committed a sin.

#### "WWJD"

A few decades ago, there was a popular acronym that many Christians are familiar with—WWJD. It was meant to remind us to evaluate our current situation and ask the question, "What Would Jesus Do?" If we are to respond like Christ, then what can we learn from Jesus concerning the issue of suicide?

1. Jesus was indeed tempted to commit suicide like many people today.

2. Jesus did not entertain the thought of killing Himself—No! Not for one moment.

3. Jesus used the word of God to counteract the temptation.

4. Jesus did not tempt God.

5. Jesus did not sin according to Hebrews 4:15.

So, where does this leave Judas, Ahithophel, Saul, Saul's armor bearer, Oral Roberts' son, and even the woman's daughter mentioned at the beginning of this chapter?

Of Judas, Jesus makes mention in His prayer to the Father, "While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled" (John 17:12). Later, Peter also states, "From which Judas by transgression fell, that he might go to his own place" (Acts 1:25).

Of Saul, the Bible records,

He died for his transgression which he committed against the LORD, even against the word of the LORD, which he kept not, and also for asking counsel of one that had a familiar spirit, to enquire of it; And enquired not of the LORD: therefore he slew him, and turned the kingdom unto David the son of Jesse (1 Chronicles 10:13-14).

Another passage cites the LORD saying to David, "But my mercy shall not depart away from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I put away before thee" (2 Samuel 7:15).

Based on the record of these Biblical examples, these individuals were described by the words "lost," "fell," "go to his own place," "put away," plus having God's mercy taken away.

Matthew Henry, who in summarizing the deaths of Judas, Saul, and Saul's armour-bearer, wrote,

Those are in a deplorable condition indeed who, being bitter in soul, long for death, but it cometh not (Job 3:20, Job 3:21), especially those who, despairing of the mercy of God, like Judas, leap into a hell before them, to escape a hell within them. 2. When he could not obtain that favour he became his own executioner, thinking hereby to avoid shame, but running upon a heinous sin, and with it entailing upon his own name a mark of perpetual infamy, as felo de se - a self-murderer. Jonathan, who received his death-wound from the hand of the Philistines and bravely yielded to the fate of war, died on the bed of honour; but Saul died as a fool dieth, as a coward dieth - a proud fool, a sneaking coward; he died as a man that had neither the fear of God nor hope in God, neither the reason of a man nor the religion of an Israelite, much less the dignity of a prince or the resolution of a soldier. Let us all pray, Lord, lead us not into temptation, this temptation. His armour-bearer would not run him through, and he did well to refuse it; for no man's servant ought to be a slave to his master's lusts or passions of any kind...His armour-bearer who refused to kill him refused not to die with him, but fell likewise upon his sword, 1Sa 31:5. This was an aggravating circumstance of the death of Saul, that, by the example of his wickedness in murdering himself, he drew in his servant to be guilty of the same wickedness, and perished not alone in his iniquity.1

Of the mother who visited our church, we examined her daughter's immoral lifestyle with her and Biblically showed her that people who commit fornication are not promised heaven ("Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators,...shall inherit the kingdom of God" 1 Cor. 6:9-10). As we spoke, this mother tearfully came to this conclusion: "I really didn't believe that she went to heaven." While these truths were difficult to share with her and emotionally difficult for her to hear, telling this mother the truth helped set her free from the wrestling she was experiencing.

#### Law and Punishment

Over the years, state laws on suicide have strayed from Biblical precepts. God does not change His law to suit the times. From the beginning of the Bible to the end, God was very clear about His expectations concerning killing. As stated earlier, to kill in the law means to murder. To be guilty of murder, according to the Bible, the person must demonstrate hatred:

But if any man hate his neighbour, and lie in wait for him, and rise up against him, and smite him mortally that he die, and fleeth into one of these cities: Then the elders of his city shall send and fetch him thence, and deliver him into the hand of the avenger of blood, that he may die. Thine eye shall not pity him, but thou shalt put away the guilt of innocent blood from Israel, that it may go well with thee (Deuteronomy 19:11-13).

Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him (1 John 3:15).

Noah Webster tells us, "To constitute murder in law, the person killing another must be of sound mind or in possession of his reason, and the act must be done with malice prepense, aforethought or premeditated; but malice may be implied, as well as express." If the act of murder is upon one's own self, then according to Webster it is, "Self-murder; the act of designedly destroying one's own life." As you have seen in each case mentioned earlier, the person premeditated the act self destruction.

The Apostle Paul wrote, "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church" (Ephesians 5:29). Yet, people who have committ suicide had no regard for their life—this precious gift from God. They hated their own flesh as Esau despised his birthright. They were so consumed with their own problems that their very last act was an utterly selfish act with no genuine care or love for the people they would hurt. The most grievous part of all is that they acted not only in hatred toward themselves and to their loved ones but to the very One Who breathed life into them, their Creator. As a result, we learn that the punishment for such a crime is revealed to us in Scripture: "And ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him" (1 John 3:15). "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death" (Revelation 21:8).

# Chapter 3 – False Consolation

Teach me, and I will hold my tongue: and cause me to understand wherein I have erred.

— _Job 6:24_

Many bereaved are still grieving heavily years after a suicide. It may be thirteen or thirty years after the fact, and still the loss of their loved one is normally the first thing they want to talk about when they meet you. They are just as broken as the day the tragedy occurred and numbly limp along life. They may even talk about Jesus, quote Bible verses, or write a book about their loss hoping to help others, yet they seem to have died inside. Why is this the case? Why are they not healed years after the tragedy? One reason why some people are never ever the same and never healed after losing their loved one by suicide is because they have falsely consoled themselves. They start off with the wrong assumptions and will naturally come to the wrong conclusions. Below are a few examples of what I am talking about.

#### False Consolation #1 - Suicide Is Not the Unforgivable Sin

While many acknowledge that suicide is indeed a sin, they believe that suicide is not the unforgiveable sin. This kind of consolation presents consequential problems to the bereaved. Why? Because it is saying that a person can die in their sin and still go to heaven. This kind of thinking, however, nullifies the grace of God and the need to repent which completely removes the work of the cross. I am reminded that Jesus told Pharisees in no uncertain terms, "I go my way, and ye shall seek me, and shall die in your sins: whither I go, ye cannot come" (John 8:21). What was Jesus saying? A person who dies in their sins cannot go where He is. With that said, the issue here is not so much whether it is "the unforgivable sin" but whether or not a person can intentionally commit any sin and expect to go to heaven and have it forgiven without repentance. Of course, this line of reasoning makes the tremendous assumption that the actual suicide is the ONLY sin in question. It completely neglects the multitude of sins that led the person to become suicidal in the first place. When a person lives in sin and repeatedly rejects the prompting of the Holy Spirit to repent, the actual suicide is like a period at the end of a lengthy book. It does not stand alone. Rather, it is only the straw that broke the camel's back.

What makes suicide so grievous is that the person has no opportunity to repent. One cannot say that their loved one repented before committing this sin because real repentance is to turn away from the sin. This mindset violates both logic and the Bible. To ask God to forgive us for a sin we are about to commit is not repentance. That is willfully tempting God. Think about it. No righteous judge would acquit a person if that person asked him to pardon the bank robbery he is about to perform. That would be ludicrous. The book of Hebrews 10:26-29 tells us,

For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses: Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace?

We see here clearly that if we sin wilfully, we are headed for "fiery indignation" unless we appeal to the Spirit of grace for help. Again I repeat, the crisis of suicide is grevious because the person has no opportunity to repent and appeal to the Spirit of grace. The old scholar, Matthew Henry, rightly argues, "Some who have obtained a persuasion that Christ is able and willing to save them from their sins, are then tempted to presume that he will save them in their sins."1

You have probably heard it said that all our sins are forgiven in Christ—past, present, and future; however, this is not true. A careful examination of the Bible teaches us otherwise. Take for instance, the book of Romans. In this book, Paul teaches us that if one repents, the past sins are under the blood rather than present and future sins: "Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God" (Romans 3:25). Sure, the Lord made it possible for our future sins to be forgiven, but that forgiveness is not appertained until one repents of the sin (1 John 1:9) which presents a problem for those who committ suicide. Jesus said, "I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish" (Luke 13:3, 5). Jesus also said only by continuing in His word will a person be His disciple (John 8:31). What happens to a person who stops continuing? John 15:6 tells us, "If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned."

Here is something else to consider. According to Jesus, a person is in danger of going to hell for saying the word "fool" (Matthew 5:22). Why would anyone think that death by suicide leads to heaven? If our hand, foot, or eye offend us, Jesus said it is better to cut them off rather than be cast into hell (Mark 9:43-48). Knowing that God takes sin that seriously, what makes a person think that willfully sinning a death by suicide exempts from hell?

The question is really not whether or not suicide is the unpardonable sin. A better question is this: Can a person commit any sin and expect to go to heaven refusing to repent? Jesus told the woman caught in adultery, "Go, and sin no more" (John 8:11). Jesus told the impotent man, "Sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee" (John 5:14).

If a person sins without truly repenting of that sin by turning away from the sin, then they are not promised heaven. Those who commit suicide die in their sins by their very last act affording for themselves no opportunity to repent. You might remember that Jesus in the very last book of the Bible says of Jezebel, "I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not" (Revelation 2:21). Why would Jesus be so concerned to give space to repent if a person can die in their sin and still go to heaven? Why would He tell several of the churches mentioned in Revelation to repent? Why would Jesus preach repentance in His first sermon: "Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand" (Matthew 3:2)? It is so important to God that we repent of our sins and not die in them that it is the very crux of the gospel.

It is not possible to heal and be free from the bondage of grief and pain while nursing false consolation. Falsehood never will ever bring healing. Do you see how consoling one's self in this way is detrimental?

I was in the central highlands in Vietnamwhen someone remarked about how the Christians suffer there. One Vietnamese Christian remarked, "Suffering is not the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing."

— _Tom White (Imprisoned in Cuba for 17 months for distributing Christian literature) 2_

#### False Consolation #2 – They Gave Their Heart to Jesus

Some who are grieving bitterly over losing a loved one to suicide say that their loved one had given his or her heart to Jesus, and based on the work of Jesus, their loved one is now in heaven. Like previously stated, this way of thinking is perilous to the bereaved. Allow me to show you why. Let's look at the following New Testament verse written by the Apostle Peter:

For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them. But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire (2 Peter 2:20-22).

What is Peter saying? He is saying that if a person who once knew Jesus goes back into the world, then they are like a dog who returns to his vomit and a domesticated swine to the mud. In other words, it would have been better for them not to have known Christ at all than to have known Him and turn away.

###### Can a Christian Commit Suicide?

This leads me to consider a new question. Can a true Christian commit suicide? Using the first chapter of this book as a basis, each of the Biblical examples listed were not Christians so to speak. In other words, they were not godly men at the time of their deaths. Never have we seen a Christian in the Bible who committed suicide. It was always the ungodly. Whether they started well and ended as ungodly or were simply ungodly all along, those who committed suicide were always the ungodly in the end.

Judas, who was numbered with the 12 disciples of our Lord Jesus, worked as a treasurer, healed the sick, and was even hand picked by Jesus, yet he turned away from Jesus because he loved filthy lucre more than Jesus (Matthew 10:2-4, John 12:6). The others mentioned were in the Old Testament. Saul, chosen by God to be king of Israel, also backslid even though God had given him another heart. He had even prophesied (1 Samuel 10:9-13), yet he "died for his transgression which he committed against the LORD, even against the word of the LORD, which he kept not, and also for asking counsel of one that had a familiar spirit, to enquire of it" (1 Chronicles 10:13). The others were not listed as ever being godly. Ahithophel was a conspirator and gave sinful counsel. Zimri, like Ahitophel, was also a conspirator and also a murderer (2 Samuel 15:31, 16:21; 1 Kings 16:16).

Asking whether or not the person had given their heart to Jesus is not the right question. The fact that they deliberately ended their life in sin demonstrates that they had turned from Jesus and were among the ungodly. One might say that their loved one really did not know what they were doing when they committed suicide because drugs ate their brains out. We must understand, however, that even before getting to the point of suicide, they were already engaged in sinful activity. They had already separated themselves from God through sin even before they died. Righteous people sadly do walk away from the faith. The Bible is full of such examples. One passage that summarizes a righteous person turning away is found in the book of Ezekiel. The Lord said to Ezekiel,

But when the righteous turneth away from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity, and doeth according to all the abominations that the wicked man doeth, shall he live? All his righteousness that he hath done shall not be mentioned: in his trespass that he hath trespassed, and in his sin that he hath sinned, in them shall he die (Ezekiel 18:24).

When a righteous man turneth away from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity, and dieth in them; for his iniquity that he hath done shall he die (Ezekiel 18:26).

The Bible says that many of Jesus' disciples turned away from Him (John 6:60, 66). One can't say, "Well, these people were never really saved to begin with." The fact that the Bible used the term "disciples" clearly indicates that they were indeed following Jesus. Further, we have more examples of people who departed from serving God. Take for instance King Solomon, Joash, and Demas just to name a few.

Solomon was warned by his father and God not to depart from the faith, yet he chose not to heed those warnings. He allowed his wives to turn his heart away from God (1 Kings 11). Joash, also turned away from following the Lord. The Bible says of him and the leaders, "And they left the house of the LORD God of their fathers, and served groves and idols: and wrath came upon Judah and Jerusalem for this their trespass. Yet he [God] sent prophets to them, to bring them again unto the LORD; and they testified against them: but they would not give ear" (2 Chronicles 24:18, 19). The Apostle Paul said of Demas, a companion and fellow labourer, "For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world, and is departed unto Thessalonica" (2 Timothy 4:10). There are several examples throughout the Bible, both Old and New Testaments, of people who once walked with the Lord but backslid and forsook Him.

Your loved one may have gone to church, prayed the salvation prayer, and known all about the things of God. God was faithful enough to send warnings their way as He did with Joash and the leaders of Israel. God may have given these warnings through you, their parents, a minister, a godly friend, or all of the above, but just like Joash, your loved one would not listen. You may have even seen yourself in the story of how Oral Roberts warned his son, but his son refused to hear. Friend, remember that Jesus said, "Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it" (Matthew 7:14). The Apostle Peter also reminds us that "if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?" (1 Peter 4:18).

After a suicide, I realize that many people extract verses like John 8:28, "...neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand," Hebrews 13:5, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee," or Romans 8:38-39, "...neither death...shall be able to separate us from the love of God." They do this in an effort to bring comfort and hope that the lost loved one is in heaven. My husband responds to this way of looking at the Bible with what I consider to be a very insightful response. He says, "Christ's part is not in question. It is our part. He may not leave us, but what if we leave Him? If we can't leave Christ, then we are no longer servants but hostages." These verses of supposed comfort do not promise heaven for anyone. They only promise God's faithfulness to His promises.

When one extracts verses like those above to suggest that a person who committed suicide is in heaven, they wrest the Scripture (2 Peter 3:16-17). How? They fail to take into account the whole counsel (commands, testimonies, statutes, parables) of God from Genesis to Revelation to form a solid concesus on the issue of suicide. God will indeed pluck out of His own hands and forsake and leave those who are disobedient to Him.

Samuel said to Saul,

Wherefore then dost thou ask of me, seeing the LORD is departed from thee, and is become thine enemy? (1 Samuel 28:16).

The Lord said to King Solomon,

But if ye turn away, and forsake my statutes and my commandments, which I have set before you, and shall go and serve other gods, and worship them; Then will I pluck them up by the roots out of my land which I have given them; and this house, which I have sanctified for my name, will I cast out of my sight, and will make it to be a proverb and a byword among all nations (2 Chronicles 7:19-20).

The Lord said to Asa,

Hear ye me, Asa, and all Judah and Benjamin; The LORD is with you, while ye be with him; and if ye seek him, he will be found of you; but if ye forsake him, he will forsake you (2 Chronicles 15:2).

The Lord said to Joash and the house of Judah,

Thus saith God, Why transgress ye the commandments of the LORD, that ye cannot prosper? because ye have forsaken the LORD, he hath also forsaken you (2 Chronicles 24:20).

The Lord also said to Jeremiah,

Thus shalt thou say unto him, The LORD saith thus; Behold, that which I have built will I break down, and that which I have planted I will pluck up, even this whole land (Jeremiah 45:4).

The Lord said to Rehoboam,

Thus saith the LORD, Ye have forsaken me, and therefore have I also left you in the hand of Shishak (2 Chronicles 12:5).

If one really searches the Bible, the evidence of God forsaking His own people is overwhelming. Over and over again we see examples that God will sever from Himself people who commit sin. The Apostle Peter reminds us that, "If God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell...And spared not the old world, but saved Noah the eighth person, a preacher of righteousness, bringing in the flood upon the world of the ungodly;...And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly (2 Peter 2:4-6), then friend, one has to ask, what makes us think that if we turn away from Him we will somehow escape? The writer of Hebrews agrees: "Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace?" (10:29).

Jesus Himself makes it a point in the very last book of the Bible that if a believer does not overcome, his name will be blotted out of the book of life. This is serious business. We must do everything in our power not to forsake God and turn back to our sins. Jesus said,

He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels. He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches (Revelation 3:5-6).

The two false consolations that we have discussed up to this point, "Suicide Is Not the Unforgivable Sin" and "They Gave Their Heart to Jesus," are misunderstandings and self-deceptions based on the popular doctrine of eternal security—the doctrine which teaches that one can never lose his salvation, or "once saved, always saved." This is a deadly doctrine that has deeply permeated the Church with deadly consequences. As you can see in these two false consolations, this teaching brings great harm to the body of Christ. It gives both the suicidal and the bereaved false hope.

#### False Consolation #3 – They Were Mentally Ill

Today, many bereaved are taking up the position that their loved one was mentally ill as a way to justify their loved one's death. This is a response that is promoted in the secular counseling arena, and some Christians are quickly embracing it as a viable answer.

In January of 2019, an article read:

Jim Howard was a pastor of the Valencia campus of the 7,000-member Real Life Church. Paramedics with the Los Angeles County Fire Department were dispatched to Howard's home after a report of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

The lead pastor of the church responded,

Sadly, Jim suffered in private with mental health challenges—some of which he bravely discussed in public—and was wrestling with some personal issues in recent months. This week, he made the tragic decision to end his pain.3

Another famous case is that of Matthew Warren. In April of 2013, Matthew shot himself in the head. According to the news, "Megachurch Pastor Rick Warren said Saturday that his 27-year-old son had commited suicide after a lifelong battle with mental illness."4

When the bereaved Chrisitan starts rallying for mental illness, they are actually campaigning against clear Biblical teaching. According to Dr. Jay E. Adams,

You need to understand that apart from injuries, tumors, and other brain problems, there is no such thing as mental illness. Those who use this terminology—unless they are speaking metaphorically—are using words inaccurately. All true "illness" is organic. Yet, these people, by adopting medical terminology, cloud the issue. How could a non-organic entity (whatever it may be) cause a non-organic illness? The very idea is preposterous. It is the body that becomes ill. Don't be deceived by medical terminology used to describe a non-medical problem.5

Today, mental illness has such a broad definition that it seems like any problem a person has can be diagnosed a mental illness, and all such diagnosis is contrary to Scriputre. Take for instance depression. Depression is a problem with a person's soul. The Psalmist writes, "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God" (Psalm 42:11), yet many today say that depression is a mental disease. This leaves the bereaved questioning whose report to believe. Will you believe the report of the Lord or the psychiatrist's or medical doctor's report? It is a whole lot easier to blame a loved one's death on some kind of sickness than it is to actually acknowledge their life for what it was. It is even more difficult to admit any guilt on your part if any. This basically boils down to blame shifting and will prove to be disastrous to the healing of the bereaved.

#### False Consolation #4 – Going to the Wrong People for Help

People who have lost a loved one to suicide can easily look to the wrong people for help and comfort. Take for instance this true account of Jessica. Jessica lost her elderly father to suicide. In search of answers, Jessica found a book written by Tom who has also lost a relative to suicide. Tom teaches her all of the false consolations listed above, and Jessica comes into agreement with Tom's conclusions on the matter. Why is this a problem? People like Tom who are not properly healed and do not have a solid biblical understanding on the issue often filter what they have to say through their own experiences. Teachings filtered through human experiences are often not in alignment with the Bible. This makes for dangerous counsel.

You see, I don't have to be a drunkard in order for me to counsel a person on the issue. I have never been a drunkard, but I can tell you that when a person is a drunkard they manifest these behaviors:

  * They get injured, and they don't remember how.

  * They babble.

  * They have redness of eyes.

  * They look at strange women.

  * They speak things that if sober, they would be ashamed to say.

  * A thorn can go up into their hand, and they will not feel it.

  * They stagger when they walk and stagger in their own vomit.

  * They don't have any knowledge of where they are when they are drunk.

  * They can get whipped and not feel it.

  * When they awake, they will seek alcohol again.

  * They come to poverty.

  * Plus, I can tell you that drunkenness is a sin.

  * Drunkards will not inherit the kingdom of God.

How do I know all of this? I have never experienced drunkenness. Obviously, you know the answer—the Bible. You know, therefore, that I am definitely not filtering this information through my own feelings or experiences because my understanding on drunkenness has its foundation in the Bible. This is the source of all Godly wisdom. People who have experienced a loss due to suicide and are still broken over their own loss, are not the right people to look to for advice and comfort even if they are famous people.

Another group of people that are the wrong people to look to for help are secular counselors. These are counselors who practice from a mental/behavioral health perspective such as therapists, psychiatrists, or psychologists. These kinds of counselors are required to train and study from the teachings and practices of ungodly people like Freud for example, and normally are themselves ungodly. No Christian should subject themselves to hear any moral advice or counsel from a person who is not a born again Christian no matter how trained they are in their art. These kinds of counselors are trained to affect the mind and emotions of persons and are not equipped to deal with the spiritual nature of people's problems. These secular counselors are viewed in our society as the experts, but in reality, their view of man and his problems runs contrary to the Bible. This puts the client in a dangerous place to have ungodly counsel spoken into their life. This is especially so if the client is a Christian. God is the only One Who is divine. He is the expert. He knows how man works and knows how to fix him.

Be cautious because even if the counselor says they are a Christian or Biblical counselor, they may still yet practice under the mental health umbrella and integrate ungodly methods. For instance, there are "Christian" counselors who have suggested that their clients should use relaxation techniques, meditation, or imagery. These techniques are certainly not Biblical, yet these counselors will add a Scripture verse to their technique to make it appear religious. These techniques often have their roots in eastern religious practices and should be avoided entirely by Christians.

My husband used to work in a prison, and one of the things he learned in his training is this—the most dangerous people in the prison are not the inmates. The most dangerous people in the prison are compromised employees. A compromised Christian counselor is a dangerous person to be around because their advice is spotted.

For the bereaved to have the proper help, here are a few basic characteristics of a Biblically qualified counselor:

1. The counselor must be a born again Christian.

2. The counselor must not be operating under any secular training (i.e. MHC, MFT, CSW, LPC, etc.).

3. The counselor must hold to the Biblical stance that a person who commits suicide will not go to heaven?

If the bereaved finds a counselor who does not meet all of these requirements, then this is not the counselor to go to. Remember, it is a great temptation to bring comfort to a hurting person by telling them their loved one went to heaven even though the Bible says otherwise. Most people are afraid to voice that to a hurting person, but a counselor who is not afraid to speak the truth in love will be more equipped to properly handle your case.

#### False Consolation #5 – Talking To The Dead

One last thing I would like mention is the danger of the bereaved seeking consolation by talking to the dead. Let me explain what I mean. When we lose a loved one, whether it be to suicide or not, there is a temptation to try to talk to them. For instance, we might come across a photo of that person and then start talking to that person in the photograph. We might even face the temptation to pray to that person as if somehow that person has the power to hear our prayers. This kind of consolation is harmful to the bereaved.

People often speak to the deceased at funerals, and in those cases, they are expressing their feelings in a figurative sense. They are most likely speaking parting words of some sort. In these cases, the person is not trying to communicate or re-connect to the dead. The Bible has an example of this in King David:

And David said to Joab, and to all the people that were with him, Rend your clothes, and gird you with sackcloth, and mourn before Abner. And king David himself followed the bier.

And they buried Abner in Hebron: and the king lifted up his voice, and wept at the grave of Abner; and all the people wept.

And the king lamented over Abner, and said, Died Abner as a fool dieth?

Thy hands were not bound, nor thy feet put into fetters: as a man falleth before wicked men, so fellest thou. And all the people wept again over him.

And when all the people came to cause David to eat meat while it was yet day, David sware, saying, So do God to me, and more also, if I taste bread, or ought else, till the sun be down (2 Samuel 3:31-35).

We see here two very important things:

1. The Bible was careful to tell us that David's lamentation took place at the time of the burial.

2. David fasted until sun down.

David's lamentation was brief. He was not talking to Abner after they left the graveyard, nor was he fasting longer than was necessary.

Right when I was about to finish this book, my mother suddenly passed away. We had no warning or cause to think she would die. At the funeral, I looked into the casket and said a few words to her. This, as we see with David, is a natural part of the grieving process; however, looking to continue talking into the days ahead will lead the bereaved on the wrong path of healing. Unfortunately, talking to the dead is what some counselors recommend. Even some who say they are Christian counselors suggest it. If you are being encouraged to talk to a photograph, write a letter to the deceased, practice imagery (generate mental images to stimulate feelings in the absence of the stimuli), or any sort of method of re-connection to the dead, withdraw yourself. Be afraid of anyone who encourages you to summons up the dead in any way, shape, or form. As Christians, we must test the counsel we hear with the Bible. The world's counsel may appear innocent because it is cloaked with professionalism and modern day garb, but it is no different that trying to look into a crystal ball. Remember what King Saul did with the witch at Endor (1 Samuel 28:7-15)? God said to the children of Israel, "When thou art come into the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations...For all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD...the LORD thy God hath not suffered thee so to do" (Deuteronomy 18:9, 12, 14).

Though this list of false consolations has not mentioned every possible false consolation, the bereaved person's healing will never come through any of the non-Biblical ways mentioned above. Unfortunately, they will limp along for the rest of their life dead on the inside if they look to the wrong people for help, blame mental illness, believe that their loved one could never lose salvation, or continue to believe that a person can commit sin without repentance and still go to heaven.

So, how do you find true consolation after experiencing such a blow? Is true consolation even possible? Let's find out.

# Chapter 4 – True Consolation

Let us fall now into the hand of the LORD; for his mercies are great: and let me not fall into the hand of man.

— _2 Samuel 24:14_

#### Worship God

True consolation begins by approaching God. This is step one. We learn this from the man whose name has become synonymous with the word problem—the man named Job. In the heat of Job's crises, he threw himself down before God. He, "fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, and said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly" (Job 1:20-22). Like Job, the bereaved must come to God and surrender that grieving heart to Him. This gives Him the opportunity to heal. Unfortunately, many times the bereaved are afraid to let go of their grief because it somehow makes them feel better if they can suffer. For some, they have been so accustomed to getting sympathy and care from others that if someone tries to touch that tender spot to bring healing to them, they recoil. Strangely enough, they want to hold on to that grief.1 Take for instance the story of Pastor Danny and his wife Marissa:

Pastor Danny and Marissa lost their son to suicide 7 years ago, yet they are still heavily grieving the loss. So much so, that a young member of their church recently said that no matter how bad things get in his life, he doesn't want to commit suicide because he can't bear to see his parents suffer over him the way these people are suffering. You see, this kind of suffering is an unnatural suffering which is leading the bereaved to their own deaths. Danny and Marissa are not a picture of God's healing power. Instead of healing, their unnatural sorrow is flowing through their lives to this young man and probably to the rest of their congregation. "For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death" (2 Corinthians 7:10). Pastor John Kilpatrick teaches that,

If you have been grieving more than a few weeks, and it has headed into months and years you are bound with an unnatural sorrow. There is a sorrow that kills a portion of you at a time, and if the devil is successful in killing a portion of you, and if you allow that, then it won't be long after that he causes that part of you to wilt and shrivel up. Then he will move on to other areas of your soul, and other areas of your personality, and other areas of your life. The devil doesn't want to destroy you all in one blow, but he wants to come in and take a layer off at a time and watch you suffer.2

Perhaps some of you can identify with Pastor Kilpatrick's words. You have been slowing dying inside after the suicide of your loved one. Even when you do find yourself laughing, your heart is still sorrowful. Grieving, however, was never intended to work death in us but was rather intended to be just for a season. If you remember, when Moses died "the children of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days: so the days of weeping and mourning for Moses were ended"(Deuteronomy 34:8).

To every thing there is a season,...a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

— _Ecclesiastes 3:1-4_

At the time of writing this book, I had an interesting thing happen to me. I had just finished reading, Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliot. It is a book about five missionaries who left the United States to preach the gospel to the Auca Indians in South America. After years of careful planning and extensive efforts to bring the Aucas gifts and show them kindness, the five missionaries lost their lives as the Aucas savagely attacked them and brutally mutilated them with machetes and spears.

The deaths of these missionaries gripped my heart so strongly that I was deeply grieved at their loss and for the five widows left behind. They were such fun-loving guys and wonderfully dedicated Christians. As you read their story, you can't help but like them. Inside, I was angry with the Aucas for being such savages. I know that Jesus told us that we should go and preach the gospel, and that we will be persecuted. I also know that in this case these men died glorious deaths, yet I still felt hatred towards the Aucas. As the weekend passed, I was in a lull. I even remember whispering a prayer that Sunday night in the bed, Lord, help me with this grief.

The next morning, after seeing my husband off to work, I was still heavy hearted. Even so, I went into my office to have my daily devotions. I started quietly praying in the Spirit (speaking in tongues). My mind must have still been on the deaths of those missionaries because I stopped praying in tongues and found myself saying, Lord, I repent for holding bitterness in my heart towards these Aucas. Please forgive me. I forgive them for what they did and release them from my grudge of unforgiveness.

I was a little surprised by my own prayer because I did not fully realize that I had unforgiveness toward the Aucas (after all, it's a book). I kept on praying in the Spirit for a time when all of the sudden, the Spirit's power came so mightily upon me that I was no longer speaking softly in tongues. I felt the power of God rest upon me, and I spoke loudly and boldly. This experience lasted for only a few seconds, and then it was gone. I then wondered if perhaps the Lord wanted to interpret something to my natural understanding, so I stopped and listened. Nothing. In the past, when I have had an experience like this, I have heard the Lord communicate a few words to me, but this time I did not hear anything. As I pondered over the experience, I wasn't sure what to make of it. I wasn't sure why He came or what He wanted me to do, so I kept praying lightly in tongues. Then after about a minute or so, the thought came to me that the deep impression upon me of the Holy Spirit was Him answering my prayer I prayed Sunday night. In a matter of seconds, He took away that deep morbid heavy grief I had been experiencing all weekend. I noticed that I now felt light again. He had healed me! Praise God for His power!!!

Elisabeth Elliot, the wife of one the missionaries mentioned above, has said, "Anything, if offered to God, can and will become your gateway to joy."3 If you have been holding on to grief, come near to God, and let Him put His hands upon you.

Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there? why then is not the health of the daughter of my people recovered?

— _Jeremiah 8:22_

A man who lost his little daughter to an unknown disease testified, "I didn't know that a human could hurt that bad. For 14 weeks I couldn't take more than a half a breath. My wife told me my shoulders were starting to curve in." After 14 weeks, the Lord led him to the Brownsville Revival in Pensacola, Florida. He said, "That night, I gave everything to Jesus because I didn't have anything left." When he did that, the Holy Spirit moved upon him. He fell to the floor and laid there for an hour and a half. He continued, "I came down here to see if the Lord loved me and would give me another chance. And when I got back home,...it was two days after. I was driving around and for the first time I realized that since I got off that floor Saturday night, He had taken that grief out of me. And I haven't hurt for 5 seconds in over ten months."4

Only when the the bereaved come to God and allow for the Holy Spirit of God to be released into that part of their lives will they experience genuine healing from that deep sorrow. In the depth of sorrow and despair, you might say, I don't want to heal. I just want them back. This is incredibly difficult for me. I can't live with myself knowing the fate of my child. I assure you, there need not be a lifetime battle with grief, but it all starts by approaching God. So, how do you approach God?

###### Repent

The bereaved should start by repenting. This may sound absurd to some, but the bereaved has been deeply wounded by the actions of the deceased. Often, the focus of their loved one's suicide has been so magnified that the bereaved can fail to actualize and deal with the wrongs that have been done to them by their deceased. Even if they do acknowledge it, they may be afraid to voice those feelings even to themselves, yet they have been wronged. The action of the deceased to take his or her life has injured their entire family. A spouse is left to make it on their own with the children. Parents, who may have done everything they could to help their child, find that that child has deceived them and left them wounded. The same is true with a sister or brother who had loved them and cared for them before the suicide took place. The deceased only saw their own problems and needs and not those of others. How does the bereaved deal with this injustice? They have been wronged.

As with any situation we face when dealing with an injustice done to us by someone else, we must come before God and release that person from our unforgiveness. Perhaps the bereaved is angry and hurt with the deceased for what they have done. Possibly they are even angry with God for allowing this to happen. This is why the bereaved must come before the Lord and repent to Him for harboring any anger towards both the deceased and even God Himself. Maybe their prayer might be something like this:

Lord, I am sorry for any anger I have harbored against _____________ and against You. Please forgive me. I release You and ____________ from my grudge of unforgiveness. Please heal me.

###### I Feel Guilty

O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!

— _2 Samuel 18:33_

Some bereaved might be afraid to approach God because of feeling guilty. If you are wrestling with guilt because of some failure on your part, you are not alone. When king David lost his son Absalom, he must have been experiencing guilt as well. If you remember the story, David failed to reprove his son, Amnon, who raped his daughter Tamar, Absalom's sister. As a result, Absalom murdered Amnon and now was murdered himself. It is recorded of David, "The king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!...But the king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!" (2 Samuel 18:33, 19:4). It was not until Joab, the general of David's army, intervened and called David into question for his behavior that David unburied his head and went back to attend to the people.

At times, we all need a Joab in our lives. If you have genuine guilt over some failure on your part toward your lost loved one, it is very important to deal with that guilt apropriately. Maybe as a parent you refused to restrain your son or daughter from doing evil like King David. Eli also did the same thing (1 Samuel 2-3). Maybe you encouraged your husband to commit sin and never protested. Whatever the reason for having real guilt, here are a couple of steps you need to take:

1. Start by practicing 1 Peter 5:7 which states, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." Cast all you care upon God. Acknowledge your failure(s), and repent to the Lord for every wrong you have done related to your loved one. "But thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness" (Nehemiah 9:17).

2. Follow the James 5:16 principle which states, "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." Go to another sincere and genuine Christian, perhaps your pastor, and share with him how you have failed. Then ask him to pray for you.

###### False Guilt

If you are experiencing guilt, it is important to recognize that there is something called false guilt. If you know you have done the best you knew how to do in rearing your child or helping that lost loved one in the ways of the Lord, then what you are feeling is false guilt. False guilt feels very much like real guilt with the similar weight of heaviness and just like real guilt, can lead to depression if it is not properly dealt with. False guilt tells you that this is your fault. You hear yourself saying things like, If I had only done this, or if I had only done that, he or she would still be alive today. To illustrate the reality of false guilt, I will share a scenario that is commonly seen among children.

Jason was 6 years old when his father brought him to me for counseling. Jason's parents were going through a divorce, and I suggested that Jason was going to need some help sorting through this tragedy. Jason sat quietly at first. Then after some preliminaries I asked, "Jason, whose fault do you think it was that your parents got a divorce? Was it your dad's fault?"

Jason didn't respond. "Jason, was it you mom's fault?" Again, Jason didn't respond. Then I said, "Jason, was it your fault?" Jason lowered his head and nodded, yes.

Jason was battling with false guilt. He was not the reason his parents got divorced, but somehow that was the message that Jason got stuck in his mind. Maybe, if he was a better child or did this or that...Maybe, just maybe, his parents would still be together.

False guilt will generate questions in your mind. It will also make you afraid to voice that what you are experiencing is false guilt. What I would normally do with a person who is experiencing false guilt is present the facts as clearly as possible. I want them to understand clearly that this could not possibly be their fault. They have been deceived, and their feelings must be at work in that deception. Feelings and facts can get scrambled. It is very important to systematically unscramble the two. When a person sees that what they are feeling has no basis in reality, then they will be on their way to recovery from false guilt.

With that said, it is important to recognize that the devil is very crafty at manipulating our feelings. If you are battling with false guilt over a suicide, I encourage you to take into account the facts that are presented in this book, and be ready to rebuke the devil in Jesus name. Like those experiencing real guilt, I would encourage you to go to your pastor and ask him to pray for you regarding these feelings. The comfort of God must be greater than the grief you are experiencing.5

###### Console With Songs

An instrumental part in the healing process is for the bereaved to encourage themselves with Christian songs. Simple as it may sound, we find amazing victories in the Bible when people worshiped God in song. Paul and Barnabas for instance, were bound with chains in a prison cell, and even in this uncomfortable position, found themselves singing praises to God at midnight. As a result, God loosed their bands and opened the prison doors for them (Acts 16:25). How awesome is that! It was all because of worship. Paul later wrote, "Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord" (Ephesians 5:19). The prophet Isaiah said, "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified" (Isaiah 61:3). Friend, nourishing yourself in spiritual songs is important for your healing.

There are hundreds of Christian artists in every different genre of music. These musicians have created songs to uplift us and for us to use in worshipping God. I encourage you to buy uplifting Christian songs and listen to them. Sing with them, and dance before your God. This will usher in His presence, so He can move in your life and release your bonds of heaviness.

###### Bless and Thank God

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). I encourage you to get the book, Prison to Praise, by Merlin Carothers. In it, you will read testimonies of people who gave thanks for the worst of circumstances and God's faithfulness towards them. We must give God praise and thanks in all circumstances. This means to give thanks even in the most devastating of circumstances. When tragedy hits our family, my husband and I have learned to stop whatever we are doing and give thanks to God. Job said, "Blessed be the name of the LORD." Approaching God first is the right way for the bereaved to respond to the tragedy. Their healing will be far quicker.

We know that the Bible speaks of Job as a man who was perfect, upright, feared God, and eschewed evil. Job's life was completely surrendered to God. The way he operated in his crises teaches us that a person who is surrendered to Christ does have power through Christ to respond well in the crises they face. When you approach God with complete surrender, amazing things happen. Like Job, God will be able to use you as an example to His enemies. He might just show us off a little—something that Satan hates. It shows the devil that even though we were created a little lower than the angels, we can still obey God and please God's heart when we are buffeted. This is a reality that Satan can never again attain. In other words, God gets the glory if we respond well through the crises He allows in our lives, so our response is critical!

###### Admit the Reality of the Situation

In order to receive genuine healing from the loss of suicide, whether you are a parent, child, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, or whomever you may be, it is extremely important to refuse to cover over the behavior of the deceased. Be like the mother in chapter two who said, "My daughter must have slept with a hundred men before she died." Acknowledge the sins you know your loved one was doing. Don't cover them up. In the first chapter of Job, we see that Job did not bury his head in the sand as it related to his children. Rather, he acknowledged that they may have sinned and cursed God in their hearts. By deliberately taking this approach, you and your family will be able to begin the healing process.

###### They Had A Free Will

I have learned that every person is given a free will, and even God will not take that will away. In my experience in working with wives whose husbands have left them, we can pray for that husband to return home. We can teach the wife to be the best wife she can possibly be, but if that spouse refuses to come back, he has that choice. Even if it is the wrong choice, the choice remains. We know from the beginning that Adam and Eve were given a command not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If God had wanted, He could have put a fence around that tree, locked it, and made it impossible for them to get to it, but He didn't. Rather, He left that tree in plain sight and with full access. Only a command stood between them and the tree, and we know the end result.

If someone held out a handful of white marbles and said to you, "Pick your favorite color," you would think they were playing with you. Why? The choices were removed. If God removed the opportunity for man to sin, man would not have had a choice as to whether or not they wanted to serve Him. We would all be robots. The opportunities to sin must be present in order for us to choose to do good. Similarly, no matter how much you did to help them, your loved one had a free will. You may have told them over and over and over again. That still does not change the fact that they had a God given free will, and you, nor anyone else, could have taken that will away from them. They had the same free will that Oral Roberts knew his son, Ronnie, had. He said to his son, "Buying more drugs is self-defeating . . . You've got to make a quality decision to let God break your bondage. I've prayed. I've felt the power of God in me to set you free, but I can't make up your mind for you." He knew the power of the free will of man.

#### Refuse To Blame or Curse God

Even the best of Christians are troubled by the question, "Why does an almighty God send, or at least allow, suffering?" When you are nagged by thoughts like this, say to yourself, "I am in elementary school. When I graduate from the university of Christian life, I will understand His ways better and doubts will cease."

— _Richard Wurmbrand (Imprisoned for a total of 14 years Romania) 6_

In any life shaking crisis, people often look to blame God. God, why did you let this happen? I was a good person. I never smoked, drank, partied, or did any of the other bad things people do. Why did You allow this to happen to me? I am a pastor. What have I done to deserve this? Why do others still have their son or daughter, or husband or wife, or brother or sister, or parent and not me. Why me? Why am I bereaved? I want to encourage you to hear the truth about how God thinks. Over and over again, the Lord says things like:

1. For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord GOD: wherefore turn yourselves, and live ye (Ezekiel 18:32).

2. Now therefore hearken,...unto the statutes and unto the judgments, which I teach you, for to do them, that ye may live (Deuteronomy 4:1).

3. You shall walk in all the ways which the LORD your God hath commanded you, that ye may live, and that it may be well with you, and that ye may prolong your days in the land...(Deuteronomy 5:33).

4. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end (Jeremiah 29:11).

5. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly (John 10:10).

6. For the Son of man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them (Luke 9:56).

7. Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth (3 John 1:2).

8. Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish (Matthew 18:14).

As you can see, the Lord has good intentions toward us. These are just a few examples of how God thinks about our lives. He wants us to keep His commandments and walk in His statutes and judgments so that we may live. God did not want your loved one to commit suicide. He does not want us to participate in sin. This is the same God Who said, "There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch" (Deuteronomy 18:10). Unlike the heathen gods, our God is a good God and has good will toward us. Sometimes we hear a lot about good will at Christmas time. "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men" (Luke 2:14).

God makes the sun to rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the just and on the unjust alike. He is a good God. When we blame Him, we are indicting the wrong person. He was not the reason that your loved one committed suicide. It was not His will that they perish. They made that choice. Have you stopped to consider that the Lord is even more grieved than you are over your loved one? Have you stopped to consider how this tragedy breaks His heart? He loved your loved one more than you ever could. You may have given birth to him or her, but He created them and fashioned them in His own likeness and image. Don't you think it hurt Him to see them refuse to listen to Him? He counted the hairs on their head and captured their tears in a bottle. Have you counted the hairs on their head or captured their tears in a bottle? Consider how He loved them and is grieved over their demise instead of being angry at Him and falsely accusing Him of any wrong doing. Rather, why not join with Him, and grieve together.

As Job reminded his wife, "What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?" Here is the pronouncement, "In all this did not Job sin with his lips" (Job 2:10). We must refuse to curse God and shake our fist at Him when we are in pain.

#### Accept This Tragedy as an Opportunity for Growth

It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.

— _Psalm 119:71_

God allows tragedies in our lives. These tragedies often serve as junction points. They come to shake us. They shake us until it seems like we have nothing left, and like the Apostle Paul, we despair of even our own lives. Job described his feelings very graphically. He said he felt like God had grabbed him by the neck and shaken him to pieces (Job 16:12). These kinds of circumstances can quickly reveal what we are really made of. They unearth whether or not we have been building all of these years on the sand or whether we have been building on the rock. Jesus said,

Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like:

He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock.

But he that heareth, and doeth not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great (Luke 6:47-49).

That last verse says, "He that heareth..." Will you hear? Pastor Kilpatrick says, "God will send people in your life that will be objective. A person who can shake you instead of pity you in this unnatural sorrow."7 Will you listen? If your grief is unbearable, this is a good time for you to consider your foundation in Christ. Have you been building on the wrong foundation? Have you been deceived into thinking that you are okay with God when possibly you aren't? Have you been twisting the Scripture to fit your own agendas? Have you fallen into a seeker-sensitive teaching where sin is not mentioned in church anymore? If you are a pastor, have you been teaching a gospel of "once saved always saved?" If you are an evangelist, have you forsaken to attend to the rearing of your children in the ways of the Lord? Have you made an unholy alliance by being unequally yoked with a particular person or organization so that you can be with the in-crowd? Have you strayed from the principles of the faith for the sake of popularity?

This may be a good time in your life to examine yourself before God. "Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves" (2 Corinthians 13:5). Have you been making up your own rules as to how to live this life, or have you been obediently following His? Normally, it is during the times in our lives when our hearts are broken and busted up in pieces that we will learn the greatest lessons about ourselves and our relationship to God. It is like somehow God has to get us to the point where we are sober enough. He must literally shake us out of the lifestyle we have been living to get us back on the right track with Him.

I am reminded of King Manasseh. It is recorded that "Manasseh made Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem to err, and to do worse than the heathen, whom the LORD had destroyed before the children of Israel" (2 Chronicles 33:9). When God stripped him, bound him with fetters and thorns, and carried him to Babylon for the wickedness he had done, then, and only then, "When he was in affliction, he besought the LORD his God, and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers, And prayed unto him: and he was intreated of him, and heard his supplication, and brought him again to Jerusalem into his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the LORD he was God" (2 Chronicles 33:13).

Friend, please don't miss the wake up call God may be trying to bring your way through this tragedy. Remember, He is a good God!

I have written a phrase on my whiteboard for my counselees to see when they walk in. It says, "God Wants To Heal You!" This is not a questions as to whether or not He wants to heal, but it is, always has been, and always will be His will to reach out and heal. Jesus did not refuse to heal anyone that came to Him for healing while He walked this earth, and He still doesn't. Remember, He is a good God. If you have been grieving for a long time, the Holy Spirit of God is ready to heal you today from this unnatural sorrow that is working death in you. Please don't refuse Him. Your only job right now is to yield to Him and believe the truth presented. Don't let fear, pride, or poor teaching hinder you from surrendering to God. God wants to do something in your life through this awful tragedy. Don't let the devil peel you like an onion any longer. Rebuke that devil that would like to slowly watch you suffer. Repent of every sin. Give thanks to God for this tragedy. Admit that your loved one was not living right and was not living a life pleasing to God at the time of his or her death. Refuse to blame God, and watch Him work the miraculous in your life!

When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee.

— _Isaiah 43:2_

Friend, maybe you have been told that your loved one did not go to hell. Perhaps you have hoped with all your heart that they went to heaven but still have doubts. If this is you, today you too can be free from the wrestling. Even though the truth hurts, Jesus did say, "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32).

So, where do you go from here?

#### A Message to You From Your Mother

There was missionary who went to a foreign land to share the good news of Jesus Christ. While there, he encountered a young woman who was terribly grieved over the death of her mother. Her mother had died without Christ. At first, the missionary did not know what to tell this grieving daughter, but then He remembered the following passage from Scripture and said to her, "I have a message to you from your mother." All of the sudden, he had the young woman's attention. He read her the following story:

There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day: And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores, And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man's table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried; And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.

And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.

But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented. And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence.

Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldest send him to my father's house: For I have five brethren; that he may testify unto them, lest they also come into this place of torment.

Abraham saith unto him, They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.

And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent.

And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead (Luke 16:19-31).

Friend, if you could hear a message from your loved one who died by suicide, it would be a call to action. Listen to what George Müller (an evangelist who solely trusted in God to send money to support his orphanage in England) did after hearing of his brother's death. He wrote,

The peace of God which passes all understanding now filled my life. I wrote to my father and brother, encouraging them to seek the Lord and telling them how happy I was. I believed that if they saw the way of happiness, they would gladly embrace it. To my great surprise, they replied with an angry letter...[Years later] December 22 – A solemn day. I received word that my brother died on October 7..."Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?" (Genesis 18:25). This must be the comfort to the believer at such a time, and it is my comfort now. I know that the Lord is glorified in my brother, whatever his end has been. May the Lord make this event a lasting blessing to me, especially in leading me to earnest prayer for my father!8

Perhaps you still have family members in your own home who are not living for Jesus. Maybe you have coworkers or even people at your church who are not living in obedience to the Word. Whomever it may be, it is your time to take action. Maybe it is you. Maybe you have strayed from the true Gospel of the Bible. Based on the rich man's testimony above, he wanted to spare his brothers from coming to be with him in hell. Similarly, your loved one would like to spare you from what they are experiencing. They are begging for you to get your heart right with God and testify of the true Gospel of Jesus Christ so that you and others don't end up where they are. This is your call to action. Your grief can be turned into a blessing for God's kingdom. Read this verse and recognize its purpose in your life: "Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God" (2 Corinthians 1:4).

# Chapter 5 - Why Do People Commit Suicide?

Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

— _Jesus (Matthew 4:4)_

#### A Heart Problem

Based on the Biblical cases in chapter one, the reasons for suicide varied:

1. They felt intense guilt for their sins as is seen with Judas.

2. They were rejected as we observed with Ahithophel.

3. They were fearful as is the case with Saul, Saul's armor bearer, and Zimri.

Intense guilt for sins can lead to depression, and that depression can invite all kinds of unwanted guests. One Christian mother noted that her son was diagnosed with clinical depression when he was young. When the child became a young adult, he was in a worse state of depression and committed suicide. Could it be that this child was never truly taught to repent of his sins? I met a man recently who told me that he was going to commit suicide because his wife wanted a divorce, but he did not want to get a divorce. This man felt rejected. You see, the bottom line reason as to why people commit suicide whether they are suffering from guilt, rejection, or fearfulness, has to do with their hearts and not their heads. For out of the heart flow the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23). Jesus said, "For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man" (Matthew 15:19-20). People who have committed suicide had a heart problem. Their heart was hemorrhaging, and they needed a new one. Jesus said to Nicodemus, "Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God" (John 3:5).

Some of you might be familiar with Dr. Mark Rutland, former president of Southeastern Bible College (now Southeastern University). He testified that by the time he was 28 years old, he was so depressed that he was drinking himself to sleep three nights a week. He says,

Sunday after Sunday I would get up from that chair start to the pulpit saying to myself every step of the way—today, I'm going to tell them. Today, I'm going to quit. Today, I'm going to pull this robe off and tell them I can't go on with this. I can't play this game. I can't do this anymore. Sunday after Sunday and then I would step up and say, "Please rise and take your hymn books and turn to number 310." ...Deep morbid depression set in, an absolute obsession with suicide. I would think it. I would plan it. I would write suicide notes to see how it felt. I was obsessed with it...I loaded a dessert eagle 357 Magnum and put it underneath my jacket and went into the pine woods...and put a dessert eagle 357 magnum down my throat till I was gagging on the barrel and pulled the trigger, and I could not make the handgun go off. I felt the feeling of despair. "I can't even do this."1

Pastor Rutland's amazing testimony of deliverance will be shared in chapter 6, but for now, this testimony illustrates the point quite clearly. Unconfessed sin leads to depression.

#### Faith Problem

Another reason in the Biblical examples why people committed suicide is because they lacked faith. This goes hand-in-hand with the heart problem earlier. The suicidal had no faith to believe that God could help them out of their problems. As a result, they took matters into their own hands instead of trusting in the Almighty. They became their own god and took away what they could not give—life. The writer of Hebrews tells us, "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him" (11:6), yet these people did not believe. Jesus told us, "Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you" (Matthew 17:20). If the suicidal had truly believed, he or she would have come through the trials they were facing.

#### Tormented by the Devil

It is important to point out that people who commit suicide have help. We see this in the account of the man living in tombs:

which had devils long time, and ware no clothes, neither abode in any house, but in the tombs. When he saw Jesus, he cried out, and fell down before him, and with a loud voice said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God most high? I beseech thee, torment me not. (For he had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. For oftentimes it had caught him: and he was kept bound with chains and in fetters; and he brake the bands, and was driven of the devil into the wilderness.) And Jesus asked him, saying, What is thy name? And he said, Legion: because many devils were entered into him (Luke 8:27-30).

People who deliberately try to injure or kill themselves are being tormented with devils. The devil uses their problems against them hoping to bring them to complete ruin and separation from God. Recently, I read of several young women who plunged to their deaths over the famous 741 foot Kaieteur falls in Guyana, South America. Of one of the women, it was reported by her friends that supernatural forces were responsible for her death. They said, "There is something at the falls that is calling these people and that is why they are jumping."2 This girl's friends had it right.

Whether you believe it or not, there are devils whispering words of death into people's ears every day. In his allegory of the Christian's life, John Bunyan captured this image for us:

One thing I would not let slip; I took notice that now poor Christian was so confounded, that he did not know his own voice; and thus I perceived it; Just when he was come over against the mouth of the burning Pit, one of the wicked ones got behind him, and stept up softly to him, and whisperingly suggested many grievous blasphemies to him, which he verily thought had proceeded from his own mind...but he had not the discretion neither to stop his ears, nor to know from whence those blasphemies came.3

The devil drives the suicidal to do things that will eventually take their lives. Jesus rightly told us he would do so. He said, "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy" (John 10:10). We saw this vividly described with the man who called himself Legion (see Mark 5). The man was encouraged by the devil to cut his own flesh and mutilate his own body. "The devil can't force us to sin. But he can present us with the opportunities to sin and then add his thoughts to our own to make the sin look attractive to us."4 Speaking of the temptations of Christ, Matthew Henry writes, "The devil would persuade Christ to throw himself down, hoping that he would be his own murderer."5 This proposed solution to fix one's problem is a deception that the devil is still employing.

#### They Are Told Lies

I can't believe this is happening in my lifetime. My daughter who was in Bible school. One of the teachers stood up and said to the students, "Once you are a Christian, you are free to do anything you want. You can do anything you want. You are free to sin. You are free to jump in bed with your boyfriend. You are free to drink. You are free to do anything you want because the blood covers it all.

— _Pastor Steve Hill 6_

"He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone," said the devil. Earlier, I said that the devil could not have found a better statement to quote. Interestingly enough, there are many today parroting the same ideas to their congregations and students. They are telling them that it is okay to sin. Just go ahead and sin because God will not let anything bad happen to you.

###### Lie #1 – God Is Too Good to Send Anyone to Hell

I want to share a little more of Glenda Revell's story (mentioned in Chapter 1). Glenda, if you recall, was abused by her father as a child and neglected by her alcoholic mother. In heavy depression, she was about to commit suicide until she came across a small gospel tract. God used that tract to save her life. After Glenda found Christ, she was excited to share her new found faith with her church family at the little church she attended as a child. Glenda was met, however,

with blank faces and quizzical expressions. I told them one by one and in small groups that I had asked Jesus to forgive my sins and that he had changed me and made me a new person. These were there responses:

"Yes, dear. We should ask him to forgive us everyday."

"Oh, Glenda, you always were the most religious little thing."

"You had better watch out—you'll become a fanatic!"

For weeks I tried to explain salvation to the people in the church. One Sunday I brought in the Gospel tract that had revealed the truth to me. "Read this," I told them. "It will explain it all to you."

"Glenda, you aren't being misled by this stuff are you? We don't believe this way in our church. God wouldn't send you to hell. He is loving and kind. We are all doing the best we can, and He understands that. What kind of God would send someone to hell?"

A pure and holy God, I thought, or why did Jesus have to die?7

###### Lie #2 - You Can Still Go to Heaven if You Commit Suicide

Unfortunately, many people believe the lies of Satan. If you remember, the devil lied to Eve in the Garden of Eden. He told her that if she ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil that she would "not surely die" (Genesis 3:4). This was exactly the opposite of what God had said. It was a similar lie Satan used to tempt Jesus when he encouraged Him to kill Himself. Satan told Christ , "For it is written, He shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee: And in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone" (Luke 4:9-11). The devil was saying, "Look, you can throw Yourself off this Temple, but you are still going to be safe." Sadly, this is the same deadly lie that the devil is speaking to people. Woefully, he is using the mouthpiece of many churches to propagate this lie.

Several years ago, my husband and I visited a nearby church. After the service, the pastor told my husband, "If you pull out a gun and shoot me in the head, run down the road and shoot yourself in the head, we will both go to heaven even if you never repent." Does this alarm you like it alarms me? Are we reading from the same Bible? My Bible says that "no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him" (1 John 3:15).

Another startling example is that of the famous Grace Community Church pastored by John MacArthur. A young man named Kenneth attended pastor MacArthur's church and actually lived for a few days with the pastor. There he was taught that if he committed suicide, he could still go to heaven. Shortly after, Kenneth shot himself in the head and left a piece of paper with verses of scripture written on it.8 Kenneth believed what he was taught.

Many have believed this lie of the devil. Rick Warren's son, Matthew, mentioned earlier also believed this lie. In his struggle with depression, he said, "Dad, I know I'm going to heaven. Why can't I just die and end this pain?"9 Nowhere in the Bible, however, are we encouraged or even allowed the option of suicide to end our misery. Instead, we are always encouraged to seek life for ourselves and others. A good example is that of the Philippian jailer. When the Apostle Paul commanded a spirit of divination to come out of a girl, he was cast into prison. God, however, miraculously sent an earthquake into the prison, and every criminal's gates were opened and bands loosed. The keeper of the jail thought he was going to lose his life. The Bible records, "And the keeper of the prison awaking out of his sleep, and seeing the prison doors open, he drew out his sword, and would have killed himself, supposing that the prisoners had been fled. But Paul cried with a loud voice, saying, Do thyself no harm: for we are all here" (Acts 16:27, 28). We see here that the Apostle Paul was greatly opposed to suicide.

###### Lie #3 - The World Is Better Off Without You

This is another lie the devil often uses against people. He will make people feel like they are a hopeless case, and the world would be better off if they were dead. We saw this lie at work in the story of Rose (Chapter 1). She said, "I finally reached a point where I wanted to just end it all. I felt that my family, world, and even God would be better off without me!" Would the world or God be better off without Rose, or was Rose hearing the wrong voice. Over and over again the devil comes to a person with lying words like these. He says things like,

"You have really made a mess of your life."

"You are an embarrassment to your parents."

"Nobody really loves you."

"This is the only way out for you."

"You can never go to heaven. You have been too bad. Not even God wants you."

"Nobody wants you."

"You would be better off dead."

His lies continue. He aggravates people with the guilt of their sins or by projecting false guilt. He incites them to end their own lives.

I heard of one little girl whose parents got a divorce. She falsely believed that she was the reason they separated, so she hung herself in her closet. Folks, the devil is real, and he is no respecter of persons. Young or old, his aim is to take us out.

People who commit suicide are in a crisis situation with the devil ringing his lies loudly in their ears. As a result, they often come to the wrong conclusion. They think that suicide is the way to fix their problems.

# Chapter 6 – How to Help the Suicidal

There are numerous souls contemplating suicide every day. How can you and I help steer them away from destruction?

#### A Spirit-filled Pastor or Bible Based Christian Counselor

For many, directing the suicidal to a psychiatrist or psychologist is the answer. Taking the suicidal, however, to the least of the Christians in the church is better than taking them to a person who does not operate solely on the Bible (1 Corinthians 6:4). The Psalmist writes, "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night" (Psalm 1:1-2). We should always seek to point the suicidal to Jesus, and that is always going to be through a true believer. It has been noted that there are over 150 ways in which the psychiatric world operates, and they all disagree as to how to handle a matter. As Christians, we can be certain that if we point the suicidal to the Lord Jesus Christ, He has and is the right answer for them! Take the suicidal to a Spirit-filled pastor or Bible based Christian counselor.

As we have sadly seen, not all pastors or Christian counselor will teach the person that it is wrong to commit suicide. This is indeed unfortunate. Do some research first. Take the suicidal person to a Spirit-filled pastor or counselor—a person who is trained in the Word of God and is able to teach him or her the truth. Don't be afraid to ask specific questions before you go. It needs to be a pastor or Christian counselor who believes:

  * in casting out demonic spirits and strongholds

  * in the power of God to heal for today

  * in miracles

  * in preaching on sin and hell

You can know what a church believes by looking at their statement of faith or statement of beliefs. In the appendix, you will find a sample you can use as a guide. A simple phone call, however, to several churches or Christian counseling ministries will answer these questions. If the church or pastor believes that a person can never lose their salvation and/or they can go to heaven by suicide, then this is not the church or pastor to refer your loved one for help. Don't be careless in your referral. It could mean life and death.

Ministers who believe in the power of God to set people free see mighty deliverances in peoples lives who are suicidal. As an example, Dr. Mark Rutland, mentioned earlier, testified that he, along with 150 other Methodist preachers, was forced to attend a conference on the work, person, and ministry of the Holy Spirit led by Dr. Ralph Wilkerson. Dr. Rutland said, "He hit that room filled with dead Methodist preachers like a hydrogen bomb. God moved in that room that night in such power. I saw signs, wonders, and miracles, manifestation of the gifts—everything I had preached against for seven years." Then Dr. Wilkerson asked pastor Rutland, "Have you received the Holy Spirit since you believed?" Here is how it happened:

and I mean like pow! It's like God hit me at the back of my head with a brick, knocked me right straight out in the floor...I was so far gone, I thought God was showing me the reasons why he was going to slay me. It so terrified me, I began to weep and cry and scream "Don't kill me! Don't kill me!"

And everybody departed from me, but Ralph Wilkerson got down on the floor and scooped me up and whispered in my ear, "Brother Pastor, I love you."

I said, "Man, if you knew me you wouldn't love me."

He said, "Don't you want to receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit?"

I opened my mouth to say, No! No a thousand times. I don't believe in a second work of grace. I don't believe in sanctification. I don't believe in tongues. I don't believe in any of that stuff, it all died with the last apostle. I'm a dispensationalist, and I don't believe in any of that! And then I heard my own mouth say, "Yes! Please, will you pray with me." I couldn't believe it, but when I heard it, I knew that for once my spirit and not my intellect had cried out. And I said, "Yes, Mister, I don't' know what to do."

He said, "Pray with me," and put his hand on my head and prayed. And at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, Dec. 5, 1975, a sad, defeated, discouraged, suicidally depressed, and profoundly demonized preacher experienced a wonderful inrush of God's presence and power that absolutely took my breath away. I began to weep. I began to laugh, and speak in tongues...The baptism of the Holy Spirit is so that Christians can live with joy, and peace, and power, not just anointing for ministry.1

#### Cast Out the Devil

Josephine walked in my office. She said, "I am struggling with fear, and I am hearing voices in other rooms. I am on medication for fear that makes me feel sedated. What should I do with this?"

I asked if she had recently had her hearing checked by a doctor. She said, "Yes, and my hearing is fine." I had her turn to 2 Timothy 1:7. She read, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

I then asked her, "What is fear?"

She said, "a spirit."

I said, "How do you fix a spirit with drugs?"

People who are contemplating suicide must be helped by casting the devil out. As stated earlier, people who are entertaining suicidal thoughts are wrestling with demonic spirits, and those spirits are speaking words of death into their ears. If possible, lay your hands on the person, and pray to bind that devil and cast it out in Jesus' name. If you are a Christian, remember that Jesus has given you authority to cast out devils (Mark 3:15). Here are the words Jesus actually used in one case: "Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit" (Mark 5:8). We must recognize that a suicidal person is wrestling with demonic spirits that are inciting them to kill themselves.

When Jesus was faced with a suicidally insane child, He did not diagnose the situation as a mental problem. Jesus ascribed this child's problem as a spiritual problem. The father of the boy also knew that there was a spirit trying to kill the boy: "It [the spirit] hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him" (Mark 9:22). The story according to Matthew 17:14-18 reads:

And when they were come to the multitude, there came to him a certain man, kneeling down to him, and saying,

Lord, have mercy on my son: for he is lunatick, and sore vexed: for ofttimes he falleth into the fire, and oft into the water.

And I brought him to thy disciples, and they could not cure him.

Then Jesus answered and said, O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? bring him hither to me.

And Jesus rebuked the devil; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour.

When we are faced with a person who is looking to harm themselves, as this child was, you must stop to recognize that he or she is being attacked by the devil. Remember, Jesus came to save life. He desires that we prosper and be in good health (3 John 2) rather than throw ourselves overboard in the river or fall into a fire. Be prepared to cast the devil out of the suicidal.

#### Acknowledge Their Sinfulness

According to Christian counselor Jay E. Adams:

In suicidal cases, when a client has such a low opinion of himself that he thinks the world would be better off without him, it only hurts to deny that his low estimate is valid. Counselors should acknowledge that he is probably right about the present worthlessness of his life, and should attempt to discover how bad he has been. However, they should take issue with his proposed solution, and instead point him to God's solution through repentance and holy living.2

I agree with Dr. Adams. Telling a suicidal person that they are "not so bad," or saying, "Don't say that about yourself," is not a good practice.3 I am reminded of a young man who confessed to his pastor how bad he felt for cheating on his wife. Instead of consoling him, the pastor said, "It's good that you feel bad." I am also reminded of Jesus' story of two men who went to pray:

The one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.

And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.

I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted (Luke 18:10-14).

We must allow the suicidal to express his sinfulness just like this publican Jesus mentioned.

#### Confront Them With Their Sins

Don't be afraid to face a suicidal case. Confront them with their sins. People who are committing sins like to live in darkness. Instead, teach them the James 5:16 principle: "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed." Remember, the truth will help set them free. If they come to you feeling ugly for the crimes they have committed against God and/or people, work through those crimes with them by teaching them to repent. People who are contemplating suicide might be involved in any kind of sin possible. Often sins like lying, stealing, self-pity, slothfulness, anger, pride, etc. These sins add up and become compounded in their minds and spirits making them feel depressed and overwhelmed. Teaching the person to repent is critical to their healing. Make sure to emphasize that this kind of repentance is not the kind that says a little prayer but requires forsaking the sins.

#### Give Hope

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

— _1 Corinthians 10:13_

Suicide is indeed a temptation to many, but the Bible says they can escape this temptation because God always makes a way of escape. Suicide is the devil's way of escape from problems. It is not God's escape.

Suicidal people need hope. It is estimated in the US that "On average, there are 123 suicides per day."4 That's 44,895 people plunging into hell every year. This is not to mention all the other countries in the world. The government in the US is looking for help through a "collaborative effort of Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Institutes of Health, Health Resources and Services Administration, and Indian Health Service."5 But friends, there is only one way that suicidal people can be saved, and that is through salvation in Jesus Christ. Listen to Dr. Dhinakaran's story from India:

Bro. D.G.S Dhinakaran was a depressed young man and unable to bear the anguish of poverty, sickness, unemployment, and failures in life, he attempted to put an end to all the miseries of his life. He walked towards the railway track to commit suicide. On the way, he met his uncle who shared Jesus Christ with him. Those words served as a balm to his bruised heart. His uncle told him to go home and commit his ways to the Lord. He prayed and committed his life to the Saviour, and returned home with a newfound hope.6

You see, if we say to the suicidal that he or she has a mental illness or mental disease and relegate their problem to a sickness, then the suicidal has no hope because there is no cure for mental illness. If the suicidal, however, recognizes that he is a sinner, then you can instantly offer hope to the suicidal because there is a cure for sin, Jesus Christ, the resurrection, and the life! We need to give Jesus to the suicidal. He is the cure!

#### Pray and Fast

If you are not having any success with the person, spend time in prayer and fasting. Pray for them that God would give them faith to believe. Before Jesus arrived, His disciples had no success in healing the demonically suicidal boy mentioned previously. Later, they asked Jesus,

Why could not we cast him out?

And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting (Matthew 17:19-21).

Prayer sets in motion the hands of God to work. How far are you willing to go to see a loved one healed from a downward spiral? Are you willing to spend all that you have? Are you willing to drive as far as necessary to get help? How far are you willing to go? Are you willing to cut a hole in the roof of a house? When the friends of a paralytic man couldn't get close enough to Jesus because of the crowd that pressed Him, they cut a hole in the roof and dropped their palsied friend, bed and all, down to Jesus. "When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee"(Mark 2:5). Are you willing to bring this suicidal person to Jesus and the congregation of the Lord? Perhaps you can be like these four friends of the palsied man.

When Pastor Jim Cymbala read the note slipped to him by a church member during a Tuesday night prayer meeting in 1991, he knew it was time to tell Brooklyn Tabernacle's (BT's) congregation about his eldest daughter. He and his wife, Carol—the multiple Dove and Grammy-award-winning director of BT's choir—had long suffered parental agony over their child's poor choices. The note declaring "Tonight is Chrissy's night" drove them to intense prayer.

Al Toledo, 50, Chrissy's friend at the time—and now her husband of 24 years—says he'll never forget that evening. He sat in the balcony when Cymbala announced: "Our daughter Chrissy is really away from God. Everything about her and what she is to be is now upside down. We've done everything we can—there's only one answer. So we need to pray." The 1,700 people assembled in the building began to cry out to God.

Despite having accepted Christ as Savior as a little girl and seeing God work miracles at BT, Chrissy Toldeo, now 47, says that as a young teen secular media cultivated her addiction to perfection. Television shows such as Happy Days and movies like Grease also fueled misconceptions about romance. By her late teens, mainstream music of the 1980s began to shape her views on self-worth.

According to Toledo, those factors combined with other distortions led her into an obsessive relationship with a new Christian not yet grounded in his faith. "He represented everything that I didn't know about the world that was sort of mysterious to me," she says.

After they became intimate, Toledo says that emotional attachment led to increasingly dark places: dismissal from college; destroyed trust and separation from her parents; lost job opportunities. For a few days, she even relinquished her baby to foster care. Despite having no means to support her daughter, Toledo quickly realized she loved Susie far too much to let her go permanently.

The night of BT's prayer meeting felt especially oppressive, Toledo says. After Lorna, a family friend who had taken Toledo and her daughter in, went to the meeting, Toledo just wanted to sleep. Unaware that hundreds of people were crying out to God on her behalf, she climbed into bed. Unable to sleep, she saw a menacing pitch-black figure appear in the darkened room and says she heard it claim her life and little Susie's. As BT members continued laboring in prayer, a cloud-like entity radiating brilliant light became visible and vanquished the evil one, disappearing along with it, she says. Feeling inexplicable peace, Chrissy fell asleep.

By the next morning, everything had changed. Asking Lorna to pray with her, Toledo repented of her sins and sought God's help. She raced to her parents' home and asked for their forgiveness—as she introduced them to their granddaughter.7

Can you imagine your entire church agreeing all at one time for your loved one to be healed as they did with this pastor's daughter. Bringing the afflicted before the church can mean life and death for that person. "Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him" (James 5:13-15).

Friend, bring the suicidal before the congregation of the Lord.

#### Teach Them About Hell and Eternal Judgment

Teach them about hell and judgment. Tell them that committing suicide will not fix their problem. Instead, it will only cause them to have an eternal problem, one that will never go away–hell. A sobering resource you can put in their hands is a book by Bill Wiese entitled 23 Minutes in Hell. Jesus repeatedly taught us about hell to keep us fresh so that we don't take things for granted in this life. Teach the suicidal about hell and eternal judgment.

Here is a short list of appropriate verses you can use to teach about hell and eternal judgment:

  * Matthew 5:17-30

  * Matthew 25:31-46

  * Mark 9:42-48

  * Luke 16:19-31

  * 2 Thessalonians 1:7-10

  * Revelation 20:11-15

Learn how to talk about hell in such a way as to convince the hearer that it is a present tense reality awaiting them the moment they die.

#### Position and Power Over Sin

We hear so frequently today, We are all sinners and we sin everyday. This teaching is an erroneous teaching that undercuts the foundation of any person looking to serve Jesus. It sets the person up to fail. If the suicidal person claims to be a Christian and they are still struggling with sin and suicidal thoughts, teach them that they can have power over sin. Teach them that what so many say, We are sinners and sin everyday, is an erroneous teaching. Teach them that if they are truly a Christian, the Bible calls them a saint and not a sinner. Paul says, "To them that are sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints" (1 Corinthians 1:2). Look up the 96 times the word "saints" is mentioned in the Bible. The suicidal must be taught of his right position in Christ. If he thinks he is a sinner, he will do sinful things because he has no hope, but if he understands his position in Christ correctly, which is that of a saint, he will do saintly things.

Verses that will help solidify this position in his mind are Genesis 4:7, Romans 6:14, and 1 John 3:9. Before the law of Moses was ever given, God told us that we can rule over sin. He told Cain right before Cain was to slay his brother, "If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him"(Genesis 4:7). He also told us in Romans 6, "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof...For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace" ( Romans 6:14). Plus, Romans 6:1-2 says, "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?" John tells us, "Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God" (1 John 3:9).

If the person has a clear understanding of his position in Christ and recognizes that he can have power over sin as the Bible teaches, then the person battling suicidal thoughts will have hope. He will start to believe that he can conquer sin which in turn will help him to have power in the Spirit.

#### Music

Similar to what I mentioned in chapter four with regards to consoling the bereaved with songs, likewise the suicidal will find comfort by listening to Christian songs. When King Saul was aggravated with a vexing spirit, his servants suggested,

Let our lord now command thy servants, which are before thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on an harp: and it shall come to pass, when the evil spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall play with his hand, and thou shalt be well (1 Samuel 16:16).

Christian music, and in particular music for worship, has a powerful influence in the spiritual realm. There are many Bible verses and stories to back up this claim. Putting the suicidal in a position to hear praise and worship is a great way to start the process of tearing down the strongholds that keep them bound. Many times I either play recorded Christian music or even sing with my clients in the counseling room. Worship releases the power of God to work.

#### Encourage With Scripture

Encourage the suicidal to call on God. If you have a friend or loved one, perhaps a teenager in the church, or a wife that you sense is battling depression, encourage them with overcoming verses like the following:

John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

Revelation 2:11, "He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; He that overcometh shall not be hurt of the second death." (You might want to look up all the verses with the word "overcometh" in Revelation to add as well.)

Psalm 50:15, "And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me."

1 Corinthians 10:13, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."

Matthew 4:7, "Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."

James 4:7, "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

Romans 6:14, "For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace."

1 John 3:9, "Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin."

Genesis 4:7, "If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him."

#### Read this book to them.

# Conclusion

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

— _John 8:32_

My hope in writing this book is that you will see for yourself that the Bible is certainly not silent on this issue of suicide. From Genesis to Revelation, God is speaking. What will you do with this knowledge? Will you dismiss it as just my interpretation, or are you going to examine it for yourself as Jesus said to His disciples, "Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have" (Luke 24:39)? Are you going to allow for Him to open your understanding as He did to His disciples, "Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures" (Luke 24:35), or are you going to stop your ears and shut your eyes? Friend, is it worth it to take a chance with your soul? I encourage you to take the Bible at face value. Your healing is available even from a loss due to suicide. You don't have to continue for years and years in deep grief. Grieving the loss of a loved one was never intended by God to be a lifetime battle but was to be just for a season. Your grief can be healed today by the power of God but understand that a sound understanding of the Scriptures will help you to have a sure foundation in that healing. Read it for yourself daily and meditate on its precepts and testimonies, for it will make you wise.

I am grieved when I see that the church of our Lord Jesus, which He said should be without spot and wrinkle, filled with so very many spots and wrinkles. It is absolutely astounding that with the Word starring us straight in the face, some in the body of Christ can teach that you can live in sin and still go to heaven. "And he marvelled because of their unbelief" (Mark 6:6).

One grieving pastor's wife, wrote the following note to her husband who committed suicide:

Your name will be honored, and you will be remembered as a hero. You fought the good fight, and I can only imagine the incredible place God had prepared for you when you walked through the gates of heaven...celebrating on the streets of gold. But for now, I will continue to live for you. I will raise our boys to be men of God, just like you were. Your name will live on in a powerful way. Your story has the power to save lives, change lives and transform the way the church supports pastors....Until we meet again, I will cling to my Father in heaven.1

Am I the only one who sees something dreadfully wrong with this pastor's wife's note? Yes, I understand she is grieving, but like Aaron, I must run out with my censer to the congregation of the Lord for "for there is wrath gone out from the LORD; the plague is begun" (Numbers 16:46). There is absolutely nothing heroic in how this woman's husband ended his life. This is a shame to the body of Christ. "For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret" (Ephesians 5:12).

Does Christ not still have the power to heal every sickness and every disease that man can encounter, or has He ceased His miracles and power as the cessationists teach? Friend, God is alive and is willing to work a miracle in your life for His glory. If you are dead on the inside and seem to have nothing else to live for and you are walking around in a shell of a body with no life flowing from within, then you need the supernatural power of God to raise you from the dead. Today, I introduce to you, Jesus Christ, the resurrection and the life!

# Notes
Introduction

1. Jesus Freaks: Martyrs. Stories of Those Who Stood for Jesus: The Ultimate Jesus Freaks. (Bloomington, MN: Bethany House Publishers, 1999), 49.

Chapter 1

1. Jesus Freaks: Martyrs. Stories of Those Who Stood for Jesus: The Ultimate Jesus Freaks (Bloomington, MN: Bethany House Publishers, 1999), 214.

2. Oral Roberts, Expect a Miracle: My Life and Ministry (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1995), 208-210.

3. PGM News. (Chicago, IL: Pacific Garden Mission, October 2017), 3-4.

4. Glenda Revell, Glenda's Story: Led by Grace (Lincoln, NE: Gateway to Joy, 1994), 86-89.
Chapter 2

1. Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Bible, electronic ed. (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 1997), 1 Samuel 31:1-7.

Chapter 3

1. Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Bible, electronic ed. (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 1997), Matthew 4:1-11.

2. Jesus Freaks: Martyrs. Stories of Those Who Stood for Jesus: The Ultimate Jesus Freaks (Bloomington, MN: Bethany House Publishers, 1999), 40.

3. "California Megachurch Pastor Commits Suicide With 'Mental Health Challenges,'" Prophecy in the News, https://prophecyinthenews.com/world_news/california-megachurch-pastor-commits-suicide-with-mental-health-challenges/ (accessed 2/12/19).

4. "Pastor Rick Warren's Son Matthew Commits Suicide After Lifelong Battle With Mental Illness," Abc News, https://abcnews.go.com/US/pastor-rick-warrens-son-matthew-commits-suicide-lifelong/story?id=18897249, (accessed 2/12/19).

5. "Can Nouthetic counselors deal with mental illness?," Institute for Nouthetic Studies, http://www.nouthetic.org/can-nouthetic-counselors-deal-with-mental-illness (accessed 2/24/19).
Chapter 4

1. John Kilpatrick, Revival Classics Vol.1: Unnatural Sorrow, (compact disc), Daphne, AL: John Kilpatrick Ministries, 2009.

2. Kilpatrick, "Revival Classics Vol.1: Unnatural Sorrow."

3. "Elisabeth Elliot," http://www.elisabethelliot.org/radio.html (accessed 3/8/19).

4. Kilpatrick, "Revival Classics Vol.1: Unnatural Sorrow."

5. Elisabeth Elliot, Gateway to Joy, reading from George Mcdowell, https://bbn1.bbnradio.org/english/home/all-programs/gateway-to-joy-elisabeth-elliot/ (heard 11/26/18).

6. Jesus Freaks: Martyrs. Stories of Those Who Stood for Jesus: The Ultimate Jesus Freaks (Bloomington, MN: Bethany House Publishers, 1999), 255.

7. Kilpatrick, "Revival Classics Vol.1: Unnatural Sorrow."

8. George Muller, The Autobiography of George Muller (New Kensington, PA:Whitaker House, 1985), 18, 110
Chapter 5

1. Mark Rutland, The True Meaning of Pentecost, (DVD), Pensacola, FL: Brownsville Assembly of God, 2001.

2. "Kaieteur Falls Tragedy...Suicide was planned days before," Kaieturenewsonline.com, https://www.kaieteurnewsonline.com/2015/11/23/kaieteur-falls-tragedy-suicide-was-planned-days-before/ (accessed 3/8/19).

3. John Bunyan, The Pilgrim's Progress (FaithPoint Press, 2005), 63.

4. Nicky Cruz, The Devil Has No Mother (Brentwood, TN:Worthy Publishing, 2012), 112.

5. Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Bible, electronic ed. (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 1997), Matthew 4.

6. Steve Hill's Testimony and his message to the Church, https://andydell.podbean.com/e/steve-hills-testimony (accessed 3/8/19).

7. Glenda Revell, Glenda's Story: Led by Grace (Lincoln, NE: Gateway to Joy, 1994), 94-95.

8. Kathryn Joyce, "The Rise of Biblical Counseling," The Social Justice Foundation, https://psmag.com/social-justice/evangelical-prayer-bible-religion-born-again-christianity-rise-biblical-counseling-89464#.tqaevjslk (accessed 3/8/19).

9. "Pastor Rick Warren's Son Matthew Commits Suicide After Lifelong Battle With Mental Illness," Abc News, https://abcnews.go.com/US/pastor-rick-warrens-son-matthew-commits-suicide-lifelong/story?id=18897249, (accessed 2/12/19).
Chapter 6

1. Mark Rutland, The True Meaning of Pentecost, (DVD), Pensacola, FL: Brownsville Assembly of God, 2001.

2. Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel (Grand Rapids,MI:Zondervan Publishing House, 1970), 140-1 endnotes.

3. On the surface, this would seem a contradiction with what was said in Chapter 5 about the lies of Satan to convince someone that the world would be better off without them, but you will notice that the lie has to do with the proposed solution of the suicidal rather than the actuality of his sinfulness. Yes, the devil lies to get a person to kill himself, but the lie is based on the truth of the persons sinful life. The sinful life is what is in question here.

4. "Suicide in the United States," Wikipedia https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_in_the_United_States (accessed 3/8/19).

5. "Suicide in the United States," Wikipedia

6. "Bro. D.G.S. Dhinakaran," Jesus Calls, www.prayertoweronline.org/about-us/founders-profile/bro-dgs-dhinakaran (accessed 11/27/18).

7. Patti Townley-Covert, "Prayer and the Prodigal," The General Council of the Assemblies of God, https://news.ag.org/news/prayer-and-the-prodigal (accessed 1/22/19).

Conclusion

1. Jessilyn Lancaster, "Wife of Beloved Pastor Who Committed Suicide Speaks Out," Charisma, https://www.charismamag.com/life/women/38266-wife-of-beloved-pastor-who-committed-suicide-speaks-out (accessed 3/11/19).

# Appendix 1

Scripture References Used in Book Order

Luke 4:18

Colossians 1:23

2 Peter 1:21

2 Timothy 3:16-17

2 Peter 1:16

1 John 1:3

Acts 17:11

Matthew 27:3-5

Acts 1:18

2 Samuel 17:23

1 Samuel 31:4

1 Samuel 31:5

1 Kings 16:18

Mark 5:1-6

Matthew 4:5,6

Matthew 4:7

Matthew 19:16-18

1 Corinthians 10:9

Hebrews 4:15

John 17:12

Acts 1:25

1 Chronicles 10:13,14

2 Samuel 7:15

Matthew 23:2-3

1 Corinthians 6:9, 18, 10:8;

Ephesians 5:3; 1

Thessalonians 4:3

Ephesians 5:29

Deuteronomy 19:11-13

1 John 3:15

Revelation 21:8

John 8:21

Hebrews 10:26-29

Romans 3:25

Luke 13:3, 5

John 8:31

Matthew 5:22

Mark 9:43-48

Revelation 2:21

Matthew 3:2

2 Peter 2:20-22

Matthew 10:2-4,

John 12:6

1 Samuel 10:9-13

1 Chronicles 10:13

2 Samuel 15:31, 16:21

1 Kings 16:16

Matthew 19:16-22

Ezekiel 18:24

Ezekiel 18:26

John 6:60, 66

2 Chronicles 24:18-19

2 Timothy 4:10

1 Peter 4:18

2 Peter 3:16-17

1 Samuel 28:16

2 Chronicles 7:19-20

2 Chronicles 15:2

2 Chronicles 24:20

Jeremiah 45:4

2 Chronicles 12:5

2 Peter 2:4-6

Revelation 3:5-6

John 8:11

John 5:14

Psalms 42:11

2 Samuel 3:31-35

1 Samuel 28:7-15

Deuteronomy 18:9

Job 1:20-22

2 Corinthians 7:10

Deuteronomy 34:8

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Jeremiah 8:22

2 Samuel 18:33, 19:4

1 Peter 5:7

James 5:16

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Job 1:5

Ezekiel 18:32

Deuteronomy 4:1

Deuteronomy 5:33

Jeremiah 29:11

John 10:10

Luke 9:56

3 John 1:2

Matthew 18:14

1 Chronicles 29:17

Deuteronomy 18:10

Luke 2:14

Job 2:10

Psalm 119:71

Luke 6:47-49

2 Chronicles 33:13

Proverbs 4:23

Matthew 15:19-20

Hebrews 11:6

Matthew 17:20

Luke 8:27-30

John 10:10

Genesis 3:4

Luke 4:9-11

Acts 16:27, 28

Isaiah 43:2

John 8:32

Luke 16:19-31

2 Corinthians 1:4

1 Corinthians 6:4

Psalm 1:1-2

2 Timothy 1:7

Mark 3:15

Mark 5:8

Matthew 17:14-18

Luke 18:10-14

1 Corinthians 10:13

Matthew 17:19-21

Mark 2:3-5

James 5:13-15

1 Corinthians 1:2

Genesis 4:7,

Romans 6:14, and

1 John 3:9

John 3:16

Revelation 2:11

Psalm 50:15

1 Corinthians 10:13

Matthew 4:7

James 4:7

Romans 6:14

Luke 24:39

Mark 6:6

Luke 24:35

Numbers 16:46

Ephesians 5:12

# Appendix 2

#### Pamphlet

#### When You Mess Up, Come

#### by Rebekah Prewitt

Did you ever get in trouble as a kid? Do you remember how you felt when you were scolded? I do. When my parents scolded me, it normally took me a few days to really feel like I could comfortably approach them again. Why? I felt distanced from them because they scolded me. Similarly, when God scolds us, we feel distanced from Him. We don't want to approach Him, but do you remember what He says in Proverbs 3:11-12? "My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth."

Many times when we mess up, we don't want to approach God. James says, "Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you" (4:8). Then, this is interesting, the very next sentence states, "Cleanse your hands ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double-minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness," and "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." So, you don't want to approach God because you have sinned, but that's the time when you need to approach and repent when you come.

Listen, the book of Hebrews 12 tells us:

12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; 13 And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. 15 Looking diligently lest an y man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; 16 Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. 17 For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.

You see, if you don't approach God when you have failed Him, you can become bitter (v. 15). But, instead of becoming bitter, He invites you to come to Him and be healed. "Lest that which is lame [meaning you have to yourself now an injury because you fell] be turned out of the way" (v. 13). In other words, God refused you because you who are now lame didn't come for your healing - so now, you fail of the grace of God. He made it available to you, but you failed to receive it and continue on in your sin. Doing this, my friend, makes you insult the Spirit of grace. You have counted God's grace not sufficient to help you overcome your sin.

The Bible says, If we sin, not when we sin, but if we sin. Hear what the Apostle John wrote, "My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous" (1 John 2:1).

God has made His grace available to you NOW if you are struggling in sin. Instead of reaching out and taking hold of that grace like you should, you have been taught to understand grace to mean that you can still live in sin and God's grace will take care of you. If you think this, you have been sincerely deceived and poorly taught.

Instead of saying, Well we are all sinners and no one can live a perfect life, why not believe God's word that He is able to help you overcome that sin. Listen, if you say you believe in God and the gospel you believe does not have the power to deliver you from the sin you are involved in, then the gospel you believe has no teeth and Christ has died in vain. But, Christ did not die in vain and as He conquered sin and death, you can too \- through Him.

When we mess up and commit a sin, God is calling us to, Come here. He says, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16). You see, God has the grace to give you when you are weak and help you overcome that sin. He said, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor. 12:9).

If you say, I can continue in my sin because God's grace will take care of me, you have understood the Scriptures wrongly and show that you are going to try to abuse God's grace. God says,

If we decide to go on sinning after we have learned the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice for sins. There is nothing but fear in waiting for the judgment and the terrible fire that will destroy all those who live against God...So what do you think should be done to those...who insult the Spirit of God's grace? (Hebrews 10:26-29).

My friend, He has given you grace so that you can use it to start walking right with Him again. This is a marvelous gift! So Come!

He also says, "If any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him" (Heb 10:38). You insult His Spirit of grace if you draw back. Instead, use the grace He gives as a stepping stone to get closer to Him.

# Appendix 3

#### Sample Statement of Faith

1. We believe the Holy Bible to be the inspired, infallible, inerrant Word of God.

2. We believe in one God who exists in three persons, namely the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

3. We believe Jesus Christ came in the flesh through the virgin birth, led a sinless life, performed great and mighty miracles, died on the cross and rose again bodily to redeem us from our sins, and is presently seated at the right hand of the Father making intercession for us.

4. We believe that man was created both good and upright but fell through voluntary transgression bringing both physical and spiritual death.

5. We believe that salvation is only through Jesus Christ for all who truly repent, believe, and endure to the end.

6. We believe in the baptism in the Holy Spirit evidenced by speaking in other tongues.

7. We believe in the modern expression of the gifts of the Spirit.

8. We believe in eternal punishment of the wicked and eternal rewards of the righteous.

9. We believe in the pre-tribulation rapture of the Church and the literal return of Christ to reign for a thousand years on the earth.

# Other Resources Available

###### The Baptism in the Holy Spirit: A Pentecostal Perspective

by Billy Prewitt

Pentecostals hold that the controversial doctrine of the baptism with the Holy Spirit subsequent to salvation with the evidence of speaking in other tongues is the fulfillment of the promise of the Father, and can be progressively traced through the dispensations to the modern church as a valid and necessary experience today that God has given to His people.

###### What if Calvin Was Wrong?

by Billy Prewitt

What if John Calvin was wrong about eternal security? What if the penalty of Hell still remains a reality even after conversion? It is a very dangerous thing to believe that you are safe when you really are not.

###### Help! I am a Teacher!

by Billy Prewitt

Whether you are a first year teacher, substitute teacher, Sunday school teacher, or veteran teacher, this book is a must have. It is fun, engaging, and loaded with stress saving and practical strategies that will help you deal with challenging situations and still maintain your authority in your classroom.

###### You Can Be a Happy Wife: A Look at the Wife's Role

by Rebekah Prewitt

Jesus said, "Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake, Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting" (Luke 18:29-30). In spite of what He said, many wives miss out on enjoying the "manifold more" blessings of God because they have not learned how to have a happy life now. In You Can Be a Happy Wife: A Look at the Wife's Role, Rebekah candidly shares her own experiences that the Lord used to teach her of how to be a happy wife. It has worked for the author, and it can work for you too!

###### Getting Married?

Trinity Bible School is very excited to host a Premarital Preparation Course by Christian Counselor Rebekah Prewitt. This course is only $14.99 per couple. The subject matter of this course is centered on Biblical principles and is a four hour audio course (mp3 format). Pastors, counselors, parents, or any person looking to offer premarital counseling will find this course to be a useful tool in equipping couples who are in preparation for marriage.

Visit: LakeCityCounsel.com or TrinityBibleSchool.com for more info.
