• From an obsessive clean freak to a psycho
who put a cat in a washing machine, the Planet
Dolan crew re-enact some of the best true
stories from our subreddit about the most
frustrating things our roommates have ever
done. I’m Doopie – or Danger Dolan – and
today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by AciaXIII Melissa
When Melissa first started college she moved
into a terrible share house. She lived in
a dark creepy basement and her ‘room’
was a Harry Potter-style cupboard under the
stairs. The basement had a makeshift door
with no lock, a window that wouldn’t close
and no electrical sockets.
What made it even worse was the landlady lived
there too and would store her dirty bike in
Melissa’s room. Every morning Melissa would
start her day by tripping over that damn bike!
Then there was the time the landlady spent
money that Melissa had left out for the gas
and electricity bills on cigarettes. Because
the bills never got paid the power and hot
water ended up going off while Melissa was
in the middle of a shower. Even though it
was her own fault the horrible landlady actually
blamed Melissa for this.
As you can imagine Melissa didn’t stay here
long.
Number 9 was submitted by RavenQueen1 Shima
Shima’s roommate had an explosive temper.
He got angry about stupid things like running
out of milk and would smash up everything
around the house! Even when he’d calmed
down he refused to clean up his mess or replace
what he’d broken. One time he even yelled
at Shima for not cleaning his mess up properly!
Eventually Shima had no choice but to ask
him to leave. He turned into an overgrown
toddler and went on one last rampage around
the apartment. Fortunately, Shima filmed this
and took the evidence to her landlord and
the police.
Number 8 was submitted by Windy_Sun GhostToast
When GhostToast was younger he lived in a
share house with his cat and one roommate.
The roommate made it obvious that she hated
cats, so GhostToast’s kitty avoided her.
One day, the roommate took it upon herself
to clean GhostToast’s room. She grabbed
a pile of dirty clothes from under his bed,
put them in the washing machine and put it
on a low cycle. She’d also picked up GhostToast’s
cat, who often slept under the bed. She claims
she didn’t realise the cat was in the pile
but that’s obviously cat-hating bullshit.
GhostToast heard his beloved kitty meowing
in distress and raced into the laundry to
rescue it. He took the poor thing out of the
washing machine and raced straight to the
vet to treat its head injury. Luckily the
cat survived and eventually gave birth to
nine kittens. GhostToast’s roommate, on
the other hand, was thrown out on the street.
Number 7 was submitted by ToastyTony Tolop
One time Tolop had to fly interstate to visit
his mom. He told his roommate to look after
their apartment while he was gone and specifically
said no parties, as his roommate’s parties
always got way out of hand.
Unfortunately when Tolop was at the airport
waiting for his flight he realised he’d
left his ticket at home. He had to race back
to his apartment where he found fifty drunk
strangers partying in his living room. Tolop
yelled, “Get out!” and marched into his
roommate’s room. His roommate was drunk
and naked – even though Tolop had only been
gone for like two hours! Tolop went to get
his ticket and found his entire room was trashed.
His plane ticket had been ripped into pieces
and scattered all over the floor.
Needless to say, Tolop missed his flight because
of this. The next day he made his roommate
clean the whole apartment from top to bottom.
Number 6 was submitted by Thetexaslandmanatee
Andiemations
Andie and her boyfriend have the most annoying
roommate ever. He always rearranges their
things, and does super loud and inappropriate
things. Every morning when he makes his breakfast
he slams the fridge and cupboard doors five
or six times. And late at night when everyone’s
asleep he slams the bathroom cabinet door
many times.
He also has no concept of personal space and
often just walks in on Andie when she’s
changing or being intimate with her boyfriend.
He doesn’t even realise he’s being inappropriate
when he does this. He just stands there awkwardly
making conversation. Andie can’t wait until
this creepo moves out…
Number 5 was submitted by Conveniently_So
Emojie
One day Emojie moved in with an old guy who
was renting out his apartment online. Emojie
had spent years living with loud messy young
people so he was looking forward to having
a roommate who was quiet and tidy. Be careful
what you wish for!
At first things went okay. But then the old
guy revealed his inner crazy. It turned out
he was completely obsessed with cleaning and
would lecture Emojie about it every single
day. Emojie considers himself a tidy person,
but this guy treated him like he was a total
slob! Every time Emojie touched something,
like a drawer or a door handle, the old guy
would yell and force him to wipe it down with
a sterilised cloth. If Emojie took a shower
or used the sink his crazy roommate would
make him wipe down every single droplet of
water. Sometimes he’d wake Emojie in the
middle of the night just to tell him about
a speck of dirt he’d forgotten to clean.
Emojie no longer lives there but he’s still
traumatised by the memories. Sometimes he
wakes in terror after dreaming about sponges
and cleaning products…
Number 4 was submitted by LadyLolipop HoneyBits
HoneyBits has three roommates – two who
are awesome, and one who’s an inconsiderate
slob! Even though she’s a full-grown adult,
this horrible roommate doesn’t know how
to wash dishes, vacuum, shop for groceries,
do laundry, or even change a frickin’ toilet
roll! She constantly steals her roommates’
food and barges into their rooms without knocking.
But the thing that frustrates HoneyBits the
most is that she has never once taken out
the garbage – even though she walks right
past the garbage room whenever she leaves
the apartment!
One day HoneyBits got really sick and had
to stay home from work. She told her roommates
she would sleeping all day and not to disturb
her. But sure enough, HoneyBits’s horrible
roommate barged into her room carrying two
big bags of stinky garbage. She dropped the
bags on the floor, putting bin juice everywhere,
and said, “Hey, HoneyBits! Take these to
the garbage room! I’m going for Starbucks!”
HoneyBits gave her the evilest stare anyone
has ever given. Her roommate’s face went
completely pale and she said, “Oh… Okay…
Maybe I’ll do it then…”
Number 3 was submitted by CaptnHarryButtBeard
Dolan
My brother is a nice guy. When he was nineteen,
he let a girl stay with him who was down on
her luck. He didn’t try anything pervy or
anything; she slept on the couch while he
slept in his bed. Things went smoothly during
the day, but at night they got a little…
weird.
Every once in awhile Dolan would wake up in
the night to see this girl standing in his
doorway… She would just watch him. Dolan
casually brushed it off, but he still found
it creepy as hell. One day he pretended to
stay asleep to see what she did. While peeking
slightly, he saw her take off her pajama pants,
squat down and take a huge shit in his doorway!
Dolan was absolutely stunned. It smelled so
bad! When she was finished she seemed to snap
out of her weird trance and hurried to clean
it up before anyone noticed. Dolan couldn’t
figure out why she would do this. Needless
to say she didn’t stick around long after
that.
Number 2 was submitted by poofybirddesign
Pandora
A few semesters ago Pandora had a college
roommate who was the president of the school’s
only sorority. Things went okay at first,
but then the roommate started holding sorority
meetings in their dorm room. These would go
on until three am, making it impossible for
Pandora to sleep. Their dorm was always full
of frat boys and no matter what Pandora said
the roommate refused to stop.
Eventually the sorority leader started bringing
her boyfriend over and HAVING SEX IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE OPEN-FORMAT DORM-ROOM IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE DAY! They did this in front of a clear
plate-glass window, so Pandora’s neighbors
across the way had to buy eyebleach too. When
Pandora and her other roommates confronted
her about this the evil roommate brushed it
off, saying it was okay but they were ‘quiet’.
As if that somehow made them invisible! It
was the worst semester Pandora ever had…
Number 1 – What’s the most frustrating
thing my roommate has ever done?
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet
Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: ‘What’s
the worst temper tantrum you’ve ever seen?’
Let us know in the Reddit page linked below
and you might be featured in a future countdown.
