THIS FOOD IS AMAZING, MOM.
>> SURE IS.
>> YES, MRS. HONTAS, THE CORN IS
VERY DELICIOUS.
>> WELL, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT,
JOHN.
BUT, AGAIN, OUR LAST NAME ISN'T
HONTAS.
>> WE DON'T HAVE LAST NAMES,
JOHN.
>> RIGHT.
SORRY, I GUESS I MESSED UP
AGAIN.
>> I GUESS YOU DID.
>> IT'S OKAY, JOHN.
YOU'RE DOING FINE.
>> I'M SO NERVOUS.
I REALLY WANT YOUR FAMILY TO
LIKE ME.
>> THEY DO LIKE YOU.
>> WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A
SEC?
I JUST HAVE TO USE THE RESTROOM.
>> OKAY.
>> JOHN SEEMS NICE.
>> HE IS, MOM.
AND THANKS FOR WELCOMING HIM TO
THANKSGIVING DINNER, EVEN THOUGH
HE'S --
>> A PALEFACE?
>> GRANDPA, THAT'S NOT NICE.
YOU'RE BEING PREJUDICED.
>> I'M NOT PREJUDICED.
I JUST SEE THAT THE PALEFACES
ARE TAKING OVER.
THEY ARE EVERYWHERE NOW.
>> MAYBE COOL IT WITH THE
PALEFACE TALK, DAD.
>> WE CAN'T SAY THAT NOW?
WHAT ARE THEY CALLED?
>> I THINK IT'S JUST "WHITE
PEOPLE."
>> WHITE PEOPLE?
BUT THEY'RE NOT WHITE.
THEY'RE PALE.
>> STOP IT.
HE'S GOING TO HEAR YOU.
>> I GUESS MY STOMACH WAS A
LITTLE UPSET.
I FEEL A LOT BETTER NOW.
>> LOOK.
HE DIDN'T EVEN WASH.
HIS HANDS ARE BONE DRY.
>> SO, JOHN, POCAHONTAS TELLS US
YOU'RE TURNING 30 SOON.
>> YEAH, COUPLE WEEKS.
>> YOU DO KNOW SHE'S 12, RIGHT?
>> I DO, I DO.
>> WELL, I SEE.
>> I HAVE AN IDEA.
WHY DON'T WE ALL GO AROUND THE
TABLE AND SHARE SOMETHING THAT
WE'RE THANKFUL FOR.
>> OH, I LOVE THAT IDEA.
WELL, I THINK --
>> I'LL START.
I'M THANKFUL FOR OUR LAND AND
OUR GREAT AND MIGHTY CHIEF.
LET'S HOPE HE FINALLY BUILDS
THAT WALL.
>> GRANDPA.
>> WHAT?
WE NEED A WALL.
I HEARD THOSE ILLEGAL SETTLERS
ARE COMING OVER HERE WITH THEIR
DISEASES AND GUNS.
AND WE NEED TO PROTECT OUR
BORDERS.
>> THAT IS JUST SO RUDE AND
OFFENSIVE, GRANDPA.
>> WHERE DID YOU EVEN HEAR A
THING LIKE THAT?
>> FOX.
>> GRANDPA, YOU'VE GOT TO STOP
TALKING TO THAT CRAZY OLD FOX.
>> HE KNOWS WHAT'S UP.
HE MAKES A LOT MORE SENSE THAN
THAT LYING PEACOCK YOU TALK TO.
>> IT'S OKAY.
EVERYBODY IS ENTITLED TO THEIR
OWN OPINION.
>> EXACTLY.
>> CAN WE JUST HAVE A NICE
THANKSGIVING DINNER WITHOUT
BRINGING UP POLITICS?
>> FINE BY ME.
>> YES.
>> PLEASE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK I HAVE TO EXCUSE MYSELF
AGAIN.
>> SURE.
OKAY, BABE.
GRANDPA, YOU'RE BEING A BIGOT.
>> IS JOHN OKAY?
THAT'S THE SECOND TIME HE
EXCUSED HIMSELF.
>> MAYBE BECAUSE GRANDPA KEEPS
FREAKING HIM OUT.
>> OR MAYBE BECAUSE HE'S
STEALING FROM US.
>> WHAT?
JOHN DOESN'T STEAL.
>> I'M JUST SAYING, SINCE THOSE
ILLEGALS SHOWED UP A LOT OF
THINGS HAVE GONE MISSING LATELY.
BUFFALOES, LAND.
>> GRANDPA, THE PALE -- EXCUSE
ME, WHITE PEOPLE, HAVE MADE SOME
GOOD CONTRIBUTIONS TO OUR LAND.
>> RIGHT.
LIKE THOSE UGLY BLANKETS THAT
ARE GETTING EVERYBODY SICK.
>> WHO TOLD YOU THE BLANKETS ARE
GETTING PEOPLE SICK?
>> THE FOX.
HE KNOWS WHAT'S UP.
HE ALSO SAID THESE ILLEGALS --
>> STOP CALLING THEM ILLEGALS.
THEY'RE JUST REGULAR HARDWORKING
PEOPLE SEEKING REFUGE.
>> SINCE WHEN IS IT OUR JOB TO
TAKE CARE OF THIS WORLD'S
PROBLEMS?
>> OKAY DAD, THAT'S ENOUGH.
>> HEY, GUYS, I SHOULD MAYBE GET
GOING.
>> BONE DRY AGAIN.
>> JOHN, PLEASE STAY.
>> I'M SORRY ABOUT MY FATHER.
HE'S JUST A LITTLE
OLD-FASHIONED.
>> IT'S NOT THAT.
I JUST THINK MY STOMACH IS
HAVING A HARD TIME DIGESTING
THIS FOOD.
I SAW SOME WHOLE CORN KERNELS IN
MY STOOL AND I SPECIFICALLY
REMEMBER CHEWING THEM ALL.
>> YEAH, THAT HAPPENS TO ME,
TOO.
>> ME, TOO.
>> YEAH, IT'S SOMETHING ABOUT
THE SKIN ON THE CORN, I THINK.
IT DOESN'T BREAK DOWN.
>> OH.
>> THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE
BECAUSE IT'S ONLY SOME OF THEM
IN MY STOOL.
>> RIGHT.
LIKE THREE OR FOUR.
>> YES.
I SAW EXACTLY FOUR JUST NOW IN
MY STOOL.
>> AND I SAW THREE YESTERDAY.
WOW.
JOHN, I GUESS WE HAVE A FEW
THINGS IN COMMON AFTER ALL.
>> YES.
I GUESS SO.
FRIENDS?
>> FRIENDS.
I'M NOT TOUCHING YOUR HAND.
YOU JUST CRAPPED TWICE AND YOUR
HANDS ARE BONE DRY.
>> OH.
OKAY.
SORRY.
>> GRANDPA!
>> HI, FOLKS.
I'M WILL FERRELL.
IF YOU'RE ANYTHING LIKE ME, YOU
KNOW THERE'S A LOT OF PROBLEMS
IN THIS CRAZY, CRAZY SKETCH.
I MEAN, WHITE ACTORS PLAYING
NATIVES?
WHAT IS THIS -- 2014?
BUT NO MATTER WHAT YEAR IT IS OR
WHAT COLOR WE ARE OR WHETHER WE
GET OUR NEWS FROM A FOX OR A
PEACOCK, ONE THING'S FOR SURE --
NONE OF US CAN DIGEST CORN.
AND THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
