>> OH, MR. PRESIDENT.
JUST CAME BY TO CHECK UP ON YOU.
>> OF COURSE.
YEAH.
I'M EMBARRASSED.
I ONLY WORE A CASUAL $10,000
SUIT.
YOU KNOW?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON YOUR WAY
TO ASIA.
>> EVERYBODY DOES.
IN FACT, I SENT MARSHALL ALONG
WITH A VERY CONVINCING LOOK
ALIKE.
>> DONALD, WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET?
OKAY.
THEN, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TEN
YEARS, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY
DAY.
>> PAUL, BELIEVE ME, MY STAFF IS
MUCH HAPPIER THAN THAT LOOK
ALIKE IS GOING.
THEY WERE TERRIFIED THAT WHEN I
GOT TO CHINA I WOULD DO THE
SLANT EYES THING LIKE THE GUY ON
THE HOUSTON ASTROS.
HILARIOUS.
EVERYBODY IS SO POLITICALLY
CORRECT I'M SURPRISED YOU CAN
SAY ORIENTAL RUGS ANYMORE.
BY THE I WORK THESE ARE
FANTASTIC?
>> THANKS.
I GOT A GREAT DEAL, ONLY A
MILLION BUCKS BECAUSE I PAID
CRASH.
>> GOOD, YOU ARE SCREWED.
YOU ARE SO, SO SCREWED.
IT'S A SHAME YOU ARE GOING TO
PRISON BECAUSE I WAS ABOUT TO
GIVE YOU A HUGE TAX BREAK.
I CALLED MY TAX PLAN CUT, CUT,
CUT, BECAUSE IT WAS NAMED WHILE
I WAS HAVING A SMALL STROKE.
>> SPEAKING OF CUTS, DO YOU HAVE
A GOOD SHIV YOU CAN BRING TO
PRISON WITH YOU PAUL BECAUSE
AFTER THE STUFF I SAID ABOUT
CERTAIN ETHNIC GROUPS THEY ARE
GOING TO GO TO TOWN ON YOU IN
PRISON.
>> WHATEVER HAPPENS, SIR, I
WON'T BETRAY YOU.
>> I TRUST YOU PAUL, BUT JUST IN
CASE WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO
TAKE THIS CONVERSATION SOMEPLACE
WELLS.
>> I'M WEARING AN ANKLE BRACE.
>> WE ARE NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE.
EVERYBODY THINKS I JUST LEFT
HAWAII.
>> THIS WHOLE TRIP YOU WERE
DIGNIFIED.
WHEN WE WERE IN HAWAII AND THEY
GIVE YOU A LEY YOU DIDN'T MAKE
THE USUAL TASTELESS JOKE.
YOU DIDN'T CALL PEARL HARBOR
FAKE NEWS AND YOU DIDN'T FINISH
MY DINNER.
WHO KNEW BY KEEPING YOUR MOUTH
SHUT YOU COULD SEEM SO
PRESIDENTIAL.
DONALD, HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING
OUT OH, DONE, I HOPE I REMEMBER
HOW TO DO THIS.
I.
>> I BROUGHT YOU IN THE SHOWER
TO MAKE SURE YOU WEREN'T WEARING
A WIRE, PAUL.
THAT'S WHY WE'RE GOING TO DO
THIS GONE GIRLS STYLE.
>> MR. PRESIDENT, I WOULD NEVER
DO THAT WITH YOU.
>> THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
LIKE A WHOLE BUNCH OF SHES HAVE
SAID THAT.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHAT AN IDIOT
THAT WOOIPTS IS.
HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH
ALL OF IT IF ONLY HE HAD GOTTEN
HIMSELF ELECTED PRESIDENT.
BODY WASH.
I HAVE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU,
PAUL.
ALL I NEED IS FOR YOU TO GO TO
PRISON FOR A VERY, VERY LONG
TIME.
IN RETURN I STILL GETTING TO
PRESIDENT WHICH IID HATE BUT I'M
TOO PROUD TO QUIT.
DOES THAT SOUND FAIR.
>> MR. PRESIDENT --
>> HERE, LET ME GET YOUR BACK.
>> MIKE PENCE, WHY ARE YOU
WEARING A SUIT IN THE SHOWER?
>> WELL, BECAUSE I'M NOT MARRIED
TO THE WATER.
>> I WANTED MIKE TO GET HIS
HANDS DIRTY, TOO, OKAY?
BECAUSE IF I'M GOING DOWN I'M
TAKING CHURCH LADY WITH ME.
MIKE, SAY CHEESE.
THERE WE GO.
IF YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS,
MIKE I'LL TEXT THAT PHOTO
STRAIGHT TO JESUS.
>> MR. PRESIDENT, CAN'T YOU JUST
PARDON ME?
>> UNFORTUNATELY IT'S NOT THAT
SIMPLE.
BUT WE HAVE A PLAN, A GREAT
PLAN.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, JEFF.
>> YES, MR. PRESIDENT.
DO YOU WANT A LOOFAH?
>> I'M ALL YOURS, JEFF.
I'M ALL YOURS.
>> ALL RIGHT.
I'M WEARING A BATHING COSTUME
THAT I GOT FROM MY FAVORITE
PLACE, THE 1890s.
PLUS, I THOUGHT WE SHOULD ALL
GET USED TO WIRING STRIPES.
-- WEARING STRIPES.
>> DON'T WORRY, YOU WON'T GO TO
PRISON, JEFF.
>> OH, I KNOW, BECAUSE I'M A
SNEAKY LYING LITTLE VILLAGE.
IF MEAN OLD MR. MUELLER COMES
AFTER ME I'M JUST GOING TO ROLL
OVER AND PLAY DEAD LIKE THE HALF
POSSUM THAT I AM.
>> AS JEFF HAS POINTED OUT, I
CAN'T PARDON YOU NOW.
IT WOULD LOOK TOO SUSPICIOUS.
>> YEAH.
SO WE CONCOCTED A GENIUS
SOLUTION, MR. MANAFORT.
I DROPPED MY LOOFAH.
DON'T WORRY.
MY TRUSTEE LITTLE TAIL IS GOING
TO GET IT OF AS I WAS SAYING WE
HAVE AN INGENIOUS SOLUTION SHHH
HERE'S THE PLAN, PAUL.
I CAN'T PARDON YOU NOW.
BUT WE ARE GOING WAIT A FEW
WEEKS AND THEN DRESS YOU UP LIKE
A TURKEY.
AND THEN WE'LL PARDON YOU.
>> IT IS A FOOLPROOF PLAN.
>> THOUGH THERE IS A SMALL
CHANCE THAT I'LL SCREW THAT UP,
TOO, AND MY FAMILY WILL END UP
EATING YOU FOR THANKSGIVING.
SO HANG IN THERE, PAUL.
AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SAT
NIGHT!
