 
### Beautiful

The Beautiful Series, Vol. 1

Kiexiza Rodriquez

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2011 By Kiexiza Rodriquez

Published by: DiamondStar Entertainment

All rights reserved. Published in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted, or saved in any way or form, electronic or mechanical, including but not limited to, photocopying, recording, emailing, reciting, or scanning without the express written permission, of Kiexiza Rodriquez, or DiamondStar Entertainment, except where permitted by law.

Genre: Inspirational Mystery Romance

Published by: DiamondStar Entertainment

Edited by DSE & SoFyh Magazine

Proof Read: Editing Couture

Spanish Translation: Joaquin Barreras

Diamondstar_Entertainment@yahoo.com

www.diamondstarentertainment.net

Acknowledgments

First and foremost I want to acknowledge the one who put this book in my head, the one who gave me the strength to go on when I had no strength left. The one who spoke to me countless nights, listened to my fears, pushed my creativity and brought clarity to my visions – My Lord Jesus Christ.

To my children, I miss you more that words can express. But I am also so proud of you all. Jon and China, I'm so pleased you have chosen to pursue your college goals and are doing well in your endeavors. I knew you could do it! Jah'nessa, you are now and ALWAYS will be my lil princess, Never Ever forget that, I LOVE YOU with all my heart & soul! Ja'vier you are my lil bundle of energy and my constant teacher and lesson in patience, endurance, faith, and strength. I've had to learn to speak up, to make things happen and not just allow them to happen because of you. I love you all very, very much and am so proud of the adults you are becoming.

I want to thank my siblings adopted in and in-laws, Meka, Bridget, Tawanna, Brendalis, Moddy, Tiffany, Danielle, Nene, Ada, Mont, and Nik, when no one else had faith in my vision, when no one else believed it could be done. You called me creative, and you kept me going. You babysat your nieces and nephews, listened to my fears, endured my tears, helped me stay focused, and reminded me the end result and all the stress I went through would be well worth it. Thank you doesn't begin to cover your faith in me.

To the one that made me believe in LOVE again, my S.W.A.T., TonyWade. Baby you are the love of my life and I'm glad to be riding the waves of this rollercoaster with you by my side. I am finally free to be myself, free to grow, to expand my wings to their FULL potential and soar. Thank you for standing by me through everything. I so love you so much, words alone cannot express how much you have changed my world! You have no idea how much your strength, support, faith and belief in me means.

To my Aunty Carol, when I needed a motherly figure God sent you. When I needed someone to love me unconditionally, there was you. When I thought I was worthless because I felt abandoned, you healed me. Thank you so much for loving me, for your calls, for your words or wisdom that helped me to see the light in the midst of my darkest moments.

To everyone that planned an important part in my publishing journey, thanks for all you've done to share your knowledge with me. Some of you I've known for years some I've just met, I won't say names as you know there is always someone you forget to mention who feels left out, but if you think this applies to you then I sincerely, thank you for your help.

To the rest of my family, friends and new online Divas and Dawgs both near and far, thank you for your support, your prayers and your financial contributions. It means so much to me to know that whether you are next door or hundreds of miles away, that you are keeping me, my family and my dreams, in your thoughts and praying for our strength. Please never forget that you have made a huge impact on my life. You are in my heart, my prayers and one day God will provide me with the ability to be able to go back and dish out an over flow of blessings He is pouring into me.

Te Amo. God Bless You.

KIE'

Table of Contents

Reflections

I'm Late... Shoot I'm always late.

All in a day's work

Charlie's Angels need a break too

The Morning After

Why Him?

Time to face the music!

By any means necessary

He's there when you least expect it.

Just Between Us Girls

The truth shall set you free

What else?

If You'd Just Give Me a Moment

You Want To WHAT?

Desperate for Him

A change is coming

Moment of Weakness

Small World After All

What is this I'm feeling?

Be a MAN!

Clarifying a few things

Settling into Surprise

I'm Yours

Please say it Ain't so!

A Test of faith

Not Ready

Ask and it Shall Be Given

Some Things Never Change.

Pride... Frienemy

Caught... Shopping?

More Truth, More Questions

Walking Eyes Shut!

Just Me and My Whine

Pride or Friendship

At Least I'll Be to Die For

Welcome to the White Ball

Epilogue

END COMMENTS

## Reflections

The steam rose from the glass shower and fogged the mirrors over the double vanity. The mist collapsed, creating tears that slid down the slippery mirrored surface. This was her place of retreat, her magical, relaxing getaway that she used to cope when life dealt her painful blows. She spent more time in her bathroom than any other room in her condo. The past six months had been beyond crazy, to say the least. She spent the last thirty days drowning her misery in the bottom of several bottles of Mascato, and now she had nowhere left to run.

She let her body go limp, and slid down the small glass tiles of her shower wall, mentally exhausted. The water moved through her long brown and blonde hair, reverting back to its natural curly form. She breathed in, and then exhaled heavily, forcing the water from her lips to fly across the shower stall. Tears mixed with water, flowing from her eyes with each blink, as she pulled her soaking wet her hair off her face. Forcing herself to stand up, she slowly exhaled, planting a vague smile on her face.

Tonight was one of her closest friend's events, a White Ball. The invite came in the mail over six months ago. She was excited to attend when she received the invite. But now she was not mentally ready to go out and face the press, her friends, or business associates that would surely be in attendance. But her good friend, Vito called and said he was not going to allow her to sit this event out. He let her know a limo would be picking her up in about an hour, and she needed to be ready.

She was trapped.

She had to go.

"What am I going to do if _he_ is there?" she mumbled aloud. "I hate myself for the way I treated him."

She turned off the water, and stepped out of the shower onto the brown bath rug just outside the shower stall. She reached for her plush oversized leopard print bath towel, quickly dried her hair and then wrapped her curvaceous body in it. Her body was trembling, as reached up and wiped the mirror with her hand, revealing her distressed reflection. Standing still for a moment staring at herself, warm tears began to flow down her cheeks, free falling through the air, into the sink basin below.

"I'm such a baby," she revealed wiping her face. "How could I have been so stupid, so blind? Why didn't I listen?!"

Taking one last look at her reflection, cold droplets began to fall from her curly locks down her back. She reached for a second towel and wrapped her hair in it, before leaving her bathroom.

Walking into her adjoining master bedroom she sat on the edge of her wooden, four-poster, canopy bed and scanned the barely lit room. Lying on her bed were two white garment bags containing gowns. One she had just purchased a few months prior. The other a dress she received as a gift. She allowed her body fall backwards on the bed, and released a loud sigh as her body met the leopard print comforter.

Six months ago, she would never have believed that today, on the evening of the city's biggest event, she'd be this distraught. She never would have thought she'd ever treat Qu the way she did. Six months ago she was on top of the world. Her career was on a fast track to the top. She had great friends around her that she trusted and who loved her. Most importantly, all her secrets were safely hidden in her mind and now... now everything was upside down.

Conceding to the fact that she had no choice, she rose up from the bed with a heavy sigh. She dragged her feet across the floor, over to her dresser and pulled out the undergarments then turned knowing she had a difficult decision to make...

Picking which dress to wear.

It was Showtime.

## I'm Late... Shoot I'm always late.

(Six months earlier)

Tierra was always in a hurry. No matter how early she woke up each morning, she just seemed to fill up any extra time she had either with an extra-long luxurious shower, or she'd sit in her _Japanese Soaking Tub_ , which she nicknamed her ' _Jacuzu_ ', until her skin resembled a wet prune.

It was Monday morning though, the first day of her work week. Usually Monday's for her were great! Tierra couldn't wait to get into the office. It was the only place she felt at home. Today though, she was for a reason unknown to her, she was stuck deep in thought. From the time she jumped up from her deep sleep, yelling the name of an old friend she hadn't seen in at least a year, till now, nearly thirty minutes later, she hadn't really truly woken up. She stood in the middle of her bedroom in a mental fog.

"Whose there?" she called out, turning her head around so fast her neck cracked. She was positive she'd heard someone call her name. Taking less than baby steps, and holding onto the side of her neck, she crept towards her bedroom door, barely peeking around its wooden frame.

"You might want to rethink this," she said as her voice went an octave higher and cracked, "I have a gun," she lied to the would be intruder, then held her breath to make sure her breathing didn't interfere with her ability to hear any possible sounds.

Going against `the black girl rule book', she did what most people scream at the TV for during scary movies... she made her way out of the safety of her bedroom, and down the hallway towards where she thought she heard the voice. When she reached the end of the hallway, she had full view of what she called her _grand room_ . She scanned back and forth between the open kitchen on her right, and the dinning/living room areas to her left. Everything was as she had left it the night before. She didn't see anything or anyone to give her cause for alarm.

"Tierra, you're bugging out girl! Ain't no one in this house but you," she laughed lightly, trying to calm her nerves as she turned to enter the kitchen. She turned on her _Keurig_ coffee maker, reached up and pulled the stainless knob on to open the glass front, mahogany cupboard and grabbed her favorite black and turquoise coffee mug. As she pulled it out of the cupboard, she felt a presence behind her. Instinctively she ducked, turned around as quick as she could, and threw the mug she held at... no one.

Her chest rose and fell rapidly, as though she had just finished a 10K marathon. She grabbed at her chest, her body beginning to perspire.

"I'm going crazy, that's it," physically shaken from head to toe, she faced the open room, reached behind her back and unplugged her _Keurig_ machine. With her back flush to the counter, she made her way over to the pantry closet, and pulled out the broom and dustpan. Quick as she could she rushed over and picked up the shattered pieces from the floor. After replacing the items in the closet, and empting the broken mug in the trash, she slithered against the wall, down the hallway into her bedroom. Just as she entered the room the phone rang causing her to jump and scream. She breathed heavily, before she picking up the receiver.

"Who... who is it?" she asked cautiously.

"Tierra, you ok?"

"Shireece, is that you?" Tierra questioned, wanting to be sure who was on the other end.

"Yeah it's me. What's wrong, are you ok? You sound like your upset or something."

Tierra paused, though she and Shireece went back to elementary school, she wondered if she should say disclose the fact that she thought she heard someone calling her name when there was actually no one there.

"Tierra, do you want me to come down there? Can you talk... is someone there?" she was now concerned. She quickly crammed her feet into her sneakers as she waited for a response.

"Huh, no, no... I'm ok. No one is here," she took a deep breath before continuing, "Today has been one of those days where you wish you could go back to sleep and wake up again. I woke up with Aquarian on my mind; in fact I was yelling his name as I jumped up out my sleep. Then it felt like someone had invaded my body, I was stuck standing still in the middle of my bedroom. That is, until I could have sworn I heard someone say my name."

"What? Was there anyone there? Open your door, I'm about to step onto the elevator," Shireece's chest was now beating faster than a new born baby's. She was making her way towards her front door, mace in hand ready to assist the closest thing she had to a sister, in any way she could.

"Girl please, I'm just being a baby. I mean, no one is here. I'm fine."

Shireece, paused, "Are you sure Ti', it's not a problem you know. Sean is already gone to work."

Tierra chuckled, when wasn't Sean at work. "Dang girl, how does that man expect you two to have a baby if he is never home to make one?"

They both shared a laugh, which is just what Tierra needed to calm her nerves.

"True, but you know with all that is going on at the end of the year, he is pulling in all these extra hours hoping to still have a job. The buzz is either there is going to be some major layoffs, or a major promotion. You know Sean doesn't really care about a promotion, but he would die if he was laid off."

"True that, you've got yourself one of the few good ones left out there Shi'. So... have you talked to him about you hitting the studio?"

"Oh no girl, no way. You know how he feels about that. He will never change his tune with regards to me and any studio. He truly believes that the church choir should be enough for me. After all, I am singing for the Lord," she sighed solemnly. "Maybe he's right, I mean, maybe this desire is just the enemy trying to cause division in my marriage."

"Now you know... I don't go to anybody's church, so I have no thoughts on that. Except to say this, way back when, before you two began to date, you dreamed of being a singer, of having a record deal and all for the Lord. It wasn't until you started dating Sean that those dreams began to die out. You didn't put the fire out Shi', Sean did!

"Well anyway," Shireece said rolling her eyes, trying to change the subject, "are you ready for work yet?"

"Huh, oh shoot, all this weird stuff going on this morning... let me get off this phone, imma be late yet again!"

"You better be glad you pull in the big clients, or Mr. Baxwell might just replace you."

"Yea, well I have increased his company's net worth a good 10 fold, so he tolerates me. But I really should start to set a good example at some point," she smiled inside knowing she had the upper hand at work and everyone else knew it as well.

"So, when are we going to go shopping for gowns for Vito's ball?"

"The usual day and time works for me."

"Cool, if I don't see you before then, God bless."

"Thank you," Tierra was the one rolling her eyes now. She found it funny how Shireece always found a way to add God into their conversations, knowing full well Tierra had no interest in talking church.

The two friends hung up their phones and Tierra went to getting herself ready for work. She walked into her master bathroom that she had upgraded three months after she was handed the keys to the condo. The builder grade material that had been used was just not going to cut it for this diva.

The bathroom now had a dark Chocolate stained seven-foot dresser that was cut into two pieces. One end was two-feet wide and shortened to serve as a make-up area. The other five-feet wide, housed two pewter bowls turned into sink basins to form her double vanity. Two matching square mirrors hung on the wall above each vanity, and one over the make-up area as well, with pewter light fixtures hanging over each mirror. In the corner of the bathroom in between a huge window was her pride and joy, her _Jacuzu_ , surrounded by champagne colored walls.

She took space from her walk-in closet to add a stand-alone glass enclosed shower, with an overhead rain shower head and built in Teak seating for two, though no one but Tierra ever sat on it. Her intense candle collection sat on built in turquoise painted shelves, and a built in IPod system with speakers built into the ceiling, finished off the upgraded features. She had all she ever wanted, all she ever needed... or so she tried to convince herself.

It was nine in the morning when she woke, and it was now just after ten, so she knew she would not make it to work until after eleven o'clock. So she called her secretary Terri, to make sure she knew to cover for her if Mr. Baxwell asked where she was. After she hung up, she turned the faucet on in her _Jacuzzi'_ , and poured a capful of her special bath oil mix into the stream.

"Oh yeah, the file _EZ Mike_ sent me," she said, pressing and releasing the search button on the IPod. She noticed a file entitled, _Play this one first_. She pressed and released the button to play the track. As it began, she recognized the voice as an artist she had met at _Organix Soul_ The artist's name was _Raiinsongwriter_ and track was entitled, _Caramel_.

She closed her eyes and listened to the soulful sounds of the young woman's voice. She pulled the straps on her chemise off her shoulders and allowed the flimsy material to fall loosely to the floor. Avoiding her reflection as she passed the mirror, she gripped the sides of the white tub and sank into it, with a sigh of relief.

Tierra stood about five foot three inches, one hundred and forty pounds, with a clear, smooth, vanilla caramel complexion. She was anything but a skinny woman. Quite the contrary, she was curvaceous in all the right places. At least that's what she had been told by many a hopeful suitor. Her natural brown, sun-kissed hair fell just between her shoulder blades that would curl up at the slightest hint of moisture in the air. She hated it and blamed it on the Cuban blood in her that came from her father. Her most attractive features were her sparkling, hypnotizing, honey colored eyes, and a smile that could make the biggest player stop dead in his tracks, speechless. Yet inside, she was very self-conscious. On the outside, she was the perfect picture of the confident, strong woman she had yet to realize she truly was.

"I'm going to have to send Mike a huge thank you gift," she thought, reaching over to the stainless tub basket that straddled her tub. She pulled out her body wash, and favorite gold colored body puff ready to begin her daily ritual. After washing up, she closed her eyes and let the music drift her already crazy morning away. After about fifteen minutes of steam, bubbles, and the fantasy guy she meets regularly, she was yanked back into reality by the sound of her phone ringing.

"Dang, who could this be?" she complained, hopping out of the tub, bubbles latching onto her body like a child to his mom, on the first day of pre-school. She grabbed her towel and rushed into the bedroom, and picked up the phone, while sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Rodriquez here..."

"What's up Tia'wanna?" a smooth, deep Caribbean voice sang.

"No way... Aquarian?" she asked hesitantly. She was more than surprised that she woke up calling out his name, and now he was on the other end of her phone. Can you say weird? "Qu, is that really you? Where the hell you been man?" she finally continued, smiling ear-to-ear from the safety of her bedroom.

"Yes, it's me. I was working out in Cali for a spell, but I'm back. How's the biz? As if I had to ask. I've been hearing your name all over the place. I guess things are going well."

"You know me."

"Yeah, you were always a hard worker, even in school. So, umm, I was calling because you haven't called me, and so I was worried you hadn't received my package?"

"Called you? Wait... package, what package? I haven't received anything from you."

"I sent it to your place."

"My place, and how did you get my new address?" she questioned, as if she didn't know the answer.

"Calm down chica! I'm over at _ViFlaa Entertainment_ now. Vito and I are officially partners. He wanted to send the area's hottest rep an invite to the White Ball. You know your boy Vito, he had to do it big. When he told me the company that they were at, I was like, _No way_ , I knew it had to be you. You should have seen his face when I confirmed it. The man nearly fell out of his chair. Don't the two of you talk?" he laughed. "Besides," he paused, "you know Mama Rodriquez would tell me anything about you if I asked," he finished his thought with a sly smirk on his face, rubbing his chin like he knew he was the man, which he was.

"That's true. She loves you like the son she never had and you're definitely a pain, like the brother I'm glad I never had," she giggled. "Tony brought me a package the other day. It had a dress and some jewelry in it. I was going to return it, but there was no senders address. Now, if that was from you two, I bet I can tell you who picked out what. You guys have always had great taste in clothes, even back in high school. You think you're so smart though, don't you. Why you trying to get me in that skimpy dress, Mr. Christian man?"

"Skimpy? Please there is nada skimpy about that dress. There's no way I want all them fellas looking you up and down. I remember how you grew up and filled out. Anyway, who said Vito had anything to do with the dress. Oh, and before I forget, who the heck is Tony?" he rambled out all in one breath.

Aquarian, or Qu as his friends called him, was one of a few people Tierra considered a friend. He was ranked number one on her super short list of about five or six people she trusted with her life. She hadn't talked to him since they worked together a little over a year ago. He represented the model, she represented the magazine. After that, he had a falling out with a client at the _Elle Gasque Agency_ where he worked and decided it would be best to put in his notice. Soon thereafter, he just disappeared. A few months ago his name began to appear in the latest entertainment magazines and she wondered how he was doing. She last read in _Inda Streetz Magazine_ , that he bought a five bed-room house with a view of some river or lake out west, and was engaged to some actress, or model.

' _So totally unlike Qu_ ,' she thought when she read it. ' _A model... since when was he into the model type_?' Not that he thought he didn't have the looks to pull one. He definitely did. He was just never that impressed by a woman's looks. You had to be able to carry on an intelligent conversation with him to peak his interest _and_ be down to earth. She couldn't see a model going fishing, hiking, or even driving with the windows down. At least not the ones she had dealt with over the years.

'B _ut that's my Peanut Butter, so if he's happy, I'm happy for him. She does look a little old for him though_ ', she remembered thinking at the time. That was about three months ago.

"Umm Tony, he's the doorman! Am I sensing a bit of jealousy in your voice?" she laughed. "...and no one said Vito bought anything, I just assumed. I mean, they came together, and you just said Vito wanted to send an invite and do it all big and what not... my bad," she replied sarcastically. "Besides Shireece, Bridget, and I will probably go shopping this week, and see what we can find... I'll have to think about your skimpy outfit!"

"Yeah, same ole' shopaholic Tierra. I see much hasn't changed," he said, playfully. "Well, I just wanted to let you know that I was in town and make sure that you received the package. I have a meeting to attend, so..."

"Umm yeah, me too. You interrupted my ba..." she paused. "I mean, I was getting ready to go to the office when you called. Let's get together before the weekend, maybe for lunch on Wednesday?"

"Sounds cool, I'll hit you on your email if that's not a good day."

"My email? Is there _any_ information that my mother hasn't given you?"

"Well yeah, now that you brought it up. Where's your man? Or should I ask? I mean, is there some man out there blessed with the honor of calling you his queen?"

"Me, someone's queen? Come on, you know me better than that Qu. All I have time for is work, work, and more work. Love is not on my radar _anywhere_. "

"What? Well, we will talk about that on Wednesday. Oh it's on now! Mark that date in pen. Hey, how about our usual place? Have you been there lately?"

"JC's? No, not lately. Mr. Baxwell has been keeping me very busy, so it'll be nice to go there."

"Aiight then, I'll see you Wednesday, at noon."

She sighed, hanging up the phone after they said their goodbyes, and continued to sit on the bed smiling before she realized... "Shoot! Dammit, its _10:45_ , "she exclaimed, and reached up and pushed the page button on a panel on her wall which connected her with the front desk.

"Yes Ms. Rodriquez," a male voice replied through the intercom.

"Tony, please be a dear and grab me a taxi. I'm running super late. I'll be down in 10 minutes... 15 tops."

"Yes, I can do that for you Ms. Rodriquez. 15 minutes, I have it under control."

"You're a dear," she said, racing over to her dresser, pulling out a pair of black panties and sheer stockings and slid into them. She walked over to her bed, and picked up her black pencil skirt from and pulled it up over her curvy hips. Then she picked up her cream jeweled top camisole and slid it over her head before rushing into the bathroom; hairbrush, makeup bag, and bobby pins in hand. When she emerged fifteen minutes later, she had her daily mask on, hair pulled back into a tight bun, with just a few curls hanging around her face. Her makeup was set like she had a professional make-up artist hidden somewhere. Perfection! This was the face she showed the world, the one she put on after she washed any trace of her real self, down the drain. Then, she erased any scent of the true insecure Tierra with her Goddess perfume.

Exiting the bathroom, she grabbed her blazer, shoes, and briefcase off the bed and hurried down the hall and into the kitchen.

"What's quick, what's quick?" she said, reaching into the refrigerator deciding on one of her homemade parfaits. "I'm really late!" she said to herself looking down at her watch. She shoved three big spoonfuls into her mouth before throwing the rest into the trash, and dashed out the front door.

Once in the hallway she pressed the down button on the elevator and stood, impatiently tapping her foot in front of the steel gold-toned doors.

"I don't know how a person can get up as early as you do, and still have to rush to get out every morning," a small, frail, elderly voice whispered from beside her.

"Good morning Mrs. Teal, I guess I'm just not good with time," she replied, irritated, never turning around. Instead, she pushed the elevator button again several times.

"Well young lady, you'll never get a husband that way. You'll be late to your own wedding," Mrs. Teal chuckled, touching Tierra's arm. "You've got to get yourself together. You are too pretty to be all by yourself, but no man wants a woman who is always late."

Just then the elevator door opened, and Tierra rushed in leaving Mrs. Teal standing in the corridor.

"Yes Ma'am, I will work on that," she lied, pressing the L button on the panel.

Safely behind the doors of the elevator she slid her feet into her black _Sofia Gucci_ heels.

' _I know I'm alone... why does she have to remind me every morning?_ '

The elevator doors were barely open when Tierra shot out towards the doors at the entrance of her building, briefcase and blazer in hand.

"Good morning, Ms. Rodriquez. I have a taxi waiting for you," Tony, the desk clerk said as he opened one of the huge gold framed glass doors for her. He had a taxi waiting just as she asked him. He would never miss an opportunity to impress her.

"You're the best, Tony! I don't know what I'd do without you!" she yelled back at him, as she rushed out the door, and into the awaiting taxi.

Tony smiled as the doors slowly closed.

## All in a day's work

Tierra loved being in the big city. To some, Springfield, Massachusetts may not have been all that big, but being from a small town in Virginia, it was big to her. Here she could hide in plain sight among everyone, and no one would notice how lonely and unhappy she really was. Besides, Springfield was neighbored by several other small cities within minutes of each other, so she always had places to go and things to do.

Secretly, deep inside, she craved for someone to notice her inner hurt. She envied the couples walking by her on their lunch break, holding hands, laughing, and smiling while enjoying brief moments of stolen joy together. She wished just once that she was getting dressed up for personal reasons. Just once she wanted to walk into a room, and watch the eyes of the one who had confessed his love to her, light up by the sight of her. Instead, she was going to restaurants, charity events and business functions... alone. Love was something she had given up on. In fact, it was never an option for her. It was a chapter in her life that she wasn't going to write, or think about writing.

That's what she tried to convince herself of anyway. She had no time for love. She was focused on work and being the best at what she did. She wasn't about to risk her status, or her heart, for a possible relationship, and end up like the secretaries at the office, crying by the water cooler because some guy didn't return a phone call!

NO WAY!

NOT EVER!

NOT TIERRA RODRIQUEZ!

"Ms. Rodriquez, you have a call on line one," Terri, Tierra's secretary said through the intercom.

"Who is it Terri?" Tierra replied a bit irritated.

"It's Mr. Markis, from Markis Entertainment."

"Put it through."

Markis Entertainment was the biggest music industry client she had. A few days earlier she negotiated the deal for one of their Hip Hop artists to sign to a major record label. She figured Markis probably wanted to say a few words to her concerning the deal.

"Yes Markis, what can I do for you this morning?" she inquired, removing one of her diamond heart studded earrings so she could hold the receiver more comfortably.

"Tierra girl, whatever you did with the Banks Project, I love you for it! Your negotiating skills... I swear they're like pure magic! If I wasn't happily married, hell I'd propose to you myself," he laughed excitedly.

"You have a strong business sense, and you know how to command a boardroom, Tierra. I have to agree with Markis, I wish you were on our payroll," Bridget, Markis' wife and business partner interjected, in a more relaxed tone. Mr. & Mrs. Markis were the _Will and Jada_ of the music industry in New England... refined, and mega talented. There was rarely anything close to any kind of negative press on them. Heck you rarely heard anything about them at all until BAM, all of a sudden there they were, front and center, commanding your attention!

"Bridget, is that you?" Tierra asked. "Thanks for the compliment. I'm just doing what you pay me to do."

"Well, thanks to you, JD Banks is finally satisfied with the contract proposal, and the label finally gave in," Mr. Markis said proudly.

"Well," started Bridget, "Banks was a bit disappointed to learn you were _off the market_ , as he put it," she hesitated to say.

"What do you mean, _off the market_?"

"Engaged girl, don't be so modest, it's not like you. I am, I must admit though, a bit disappointed that I had to read about it in _Inda Streetz Magazine_ and not from you directly," Bridget pouted through the phone.

"HOLD UP! What magazine said I was engaged? And to whom am I supposed to be getting hitched?" Tierra pressed the speaker button on the phone base, and tossed the receiver across her desk, as she paced back and forth behind her desk.

"See, I told you honey. She's not engaged. Tierra, I told her you would've told us!" Mr. Markis teased his wife, nudging her in her side, winking his eye.

"Whatever Markis! Ti, there was a big write up on you in this month's issue. _Is she finally getting hitched?_ That was the heading. We picked up a copy, right after we got the call about it from JD. He called and said he picked up his copy at _Medinas_ , in the North End. We were in _Tower Square_. So we went to the first store we saw and sure enough, there was your picture right there on the front cover."

Tierra quickened her pace back and forth across the carpet, breathing heavily as Bridget continued. "The article said they received exclusive information, including photos of a package being delivered to your building. The tipster informed them that your package included a dress, jewelry, and invitations. They even showed a picture of the dress. A bit skimpy for a wedding dress, but I figured maybe it was your dress for the reception."

"See... Ok... breathe," Tierra repeated to herself, beginning to hyperventilate. She inhaled deep and exhaled slowly, trying to regain her composure then picked up the letter opener off of her desk and stabbed it into the wooden top, "Look, the dress... the dress was a surprise gift for the White Ball. I don't know how they could have gotten a picture of it, unless they had hidden cameras in the bag or my closet, and trust there was NO engagement ring included. You know I'm too busy for love and all that nonsense!" Tierra rolled her eyes as she spoke, knocking the letter opener over with the back of her hand.

"Love... nonsense?" Markis gasped, astonished by her words.

"Too busy for love? Missy, love is what gets us through every day," Bridget loving responded, kissing Markis on the forehead.

"Well, I'm happy for the two of you! But, right now, that 4-letter word is not in my cards," she quietly sucked her teeth, not wanting to hear how much in love they were. "So Bridget, have you gone shopping yet for the Ball? Shireece and I are going out to the usual spot tomorrow night, you in?" she asked hoping to change the subject.

"Girls Night, yes definitely!" Bridget smiled. She looked down at Marquis, who instinctively, reached in his wallet and inserted his Platinum Card into his wife's hand.

"See you then," Tierra disconnected the line and flung her body across a black leather chaise that sat in the corner of her office by the window.

"Why do I keep doing this?" she spoke softly to herself, closing her eyes.

"Thinking of giving this up for a white picket fence and dog?"

Tierra sat up and looked towards the male voice. It belonged to her boss Mr. Baxwell who was peeking his head inside her double office doors. "Mind if I come in?"

"No Sir," she replied quickly, standing up, adjusting her clothes.

"Word on the floor is you're engaged..."

"Funny," she interrupted, "I just heard that myself. You shouldn't worry so much. It's just a nasty rumor. So not true," she assured him.

"Whew!" Mr. Baxwell exhaled, wiping his brow, "Where would I find another employee like you?"

"Nowhere," she proudly remarked.

"Exactly, that's why I came to give you this," he reached out his hand, handing Tierra a padded yellow 8x11 sized envelope. "Now when you close this account today, the contents of that envelope are yours. Don't open it now, although we know you've already earned it. By the way Tierra, you know I gave you a personal driver and car service with your promotion, maybe if you used it, you might not be late," a grin wide as a Cheshire cats, overcame his narrow face, as he spoke before he walked out the door.

"I knew he would eventually get around to mentioning that," she said under her breath looking at the envelope he just handed her, "I hate when he does that!" she tossed the envelope on the desk, remembering the times before when Mr. Baxwell had given her such a mysterious envelope. The first time was when she reached her second year tenure at the company. She was able to surpass, and maintain, the clientele that the top agent was bringing in at the firm before her arrival. He rewarded her with the lease and keys to her current condo, as well as a personal driver. Last year at the Annual Christmas Party, in front of the whole company Mr. Baxwell announced that Tierra was the new head of the M.M.&E. Department. His announcement brought her to tears. It also encouraged the women within the company; reassuring them there was room for them to advance. When she returned to the office the next day, Terri met her at the elevator and walked her to her new corner office, her name engraved in gold on the door's nameplate ' _Tierra Rodriquez Director of M.M. &E_' .

She shook her head and smiled, wondering what Mr. Baxwell could've possibly given her this time; he had done so much for her already. She pressed the intercom button on the phone. "Terri, will you please come and take the things I will need for this meeting into conference room 3?"

Tierra was a killer combination of beauty and brains that quickly took her right to the top of the All Boy's Club. Now, many of the male colleagues that turned their nose up at her when she first arrived had to suck up their male egos and answer to her. You can't beat that. Unfortunately, what she felt on the inside hadn't matched the facade she wore on the outside for many years. The good thing was she had become a master at working the facade. So no one, not even Terri had any idea that the cool, confident woman that they saw before them was just an illusion.

She turned on her favorite CD that played sounds of a waterfall and sat on the floor, in her favorite yoga pose, _Sukasana_. Her legs were crossed Indian style, arms rested lightly on her knees, palms up, closed her eyes, and she breathed slowly meditating for just five minutes. She envisioned herself walking into the conference room and closing the deal. Then she gathered the Chai, Terri exchanged for the papers on her desk, and went off to add another account to her belt.

***

Mr. Baxwell burst into Tierra's office excited, smiling from ear-to-ear, and out of breath.

"YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN! If anyone ever had their doubts about my promoting you to the head of this department, you show them every time you walk into a boardroom why you deserve it! You are just so..." he paused, took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and began again. "I mean, you know Ms. Rodriquez, you are very good at what you do, and a huge asset to this company. I'm very grateful to have you as a part of my team." He never gave out compliments, but Tierra had him doing it on a regular basis, and he hated it as much as he loved it.

"Tierra, take a week off. You've more than earned it. Hell, take two! Go somewhere hot, sandy, and exotic and relax! And don't try to give me any of that, _I can't take any time off right now_ , stuff either. You're not working on any accounts at this time. I know you just closed your last one," Mr. Baxwell said, walking over to her.

"Listen Tierra, even I take a break, and take the Misses out every once in a while. I don't know if you're actually dating anyone, but I do know you'll burn out if you don't find time to relax. Live a little, have some fun. Let that pretty hair of your down for once. That's an order," he demanded, and turned to walk out of her office. "Matter of fact, leave that envelope in your desk until you return from your vacation. I need you relaxed when you open it and view the contents," he smiled peeking back in. He turned towards Terri and continued, "Ms. Terri, two weeks paid vacation for you as well. Tierra can't do what she does without your support," he tapped her desk with his well-manicured nails as he made his way by her.

"Thank you sir," Terri cooed, in an upbeat-excited tone, waving her hand, as he disappeared down the hall. She stood up from behind her desk and walked into Tierra's office. "Well, where are you going to go?"

"Hmmm... me? You know I'm not going anywhere. Did you want something?"

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry. It's your mother. She said it's urgent."

"It's always urgent with her. Tell her I'm still in a meeting."

"Ok," she sighed and went back to her desk, and told Mrs. Rodriquez that her daughter was unavailable, as she always did.

## Charlie's Angels need a break too

Bridget, Shireece, and Tierra met up once every other month or so at their favorite entertainment spot, JC's Jazz Lounge, to unwind and enjoy some good ole' gossip and great food. Bridget and Shireece were happily married, but it never stopped them from surveying the hard bodies, or being enticed by the many mouth-watering flavors that frequented JC's. _Not for their sake, but for Tierra's_ , so they said.

Dressed to impress for every event, party and social gathering, these ladies made it a point to be on the best-dressed list for _every_ event. Their secret weapon to their wardrobe success was a small little known Haute Couture Boutique, Tigrez (pronounced _Tee-Grays_ ). After dinner and dancing at JC's, they'd round out their Girl's Night with a trip there to get their shop on.

To their surprise though, as they approached its East Longmeadow location, there was a new decor about the building. Quite different than the last time they were there. They looked at each other, then around the building to make sure they were in the right place, and hesitantly proceeded towards the main entrance.

"Ladies, ladies, it's so nice to see you again," a tall gracefully thin, chocolate skin brotha, with a Cesar cut and deep waves spoke towards the trio. His tone was exaggerated, as he made his way towards them. His ensemble as usual was impeccable. He wore a pair of perfectly creased, black dress trousers, a black leather belt with a gold buckle, a light green long sleeved, button down shirt, black cuff links and a gold checkered design on them and his black leather dress shoes had a gold buckle. A _Movado_ large faced watch adorned his left wrist and a single .5ct stud rested in his earlobe.

"Marques, darling," Bridget began, sashaying up to him, "it's been too long," she smiled, while giving him her best rich girl cheek-to-cheek kiss.

"Hello Marques. How's business? The store looks... different," Shireece spoke, barely looking at him. She was looking around the boutique instead. "Hmm, what happened?"

"Well, Ms. Shireece, I, we were bought out, partnered by some, well... some wannabe thugs turned businessmen, I think," he said in a whispered tone, looking around as if he didn't want anyone to hear him. "I have yet to actually meet them, but they sent over a team of so-called designers and they are responsible for all these décor changes," he waved his hands around wildly, and raised the corner of his mouth, as he replied.

"Well, it's not that bad. It's just going to take some getting used to," Shireece added sensing his disgust. She tried to ease him by patting him empathetically on the shoulder. "As long as there is still a VIP area, I'm good. Where is it, I don't see the usual set up," she whined.

"What?!" Tierra shouted, spinning her head around. She was surveying the boutique as well; but the sound of not having her usual treatment at her favorite place, brought her back to the current conversation.

"Oh no, no worries ladies," he assured them. "Everything is ok, nothing with the _way_ we do business has changed, just the look. Oh, and our clothing options will be... broader," he said broader in such a slow manner, it seemed to take a full minute to say the one word. "Our Preferred clientele will always receive that V.I.P. treatment. Come, your area is right this way now."

Marques led the ladies towards the back of the boutique, then up a metal, black spiral staircase that led to a private area. Sheer cream window treatments hung over the ceiling to floor windows, and were drawn back to the edges. The view below over looked the busy barely busy street. Several bottles of white wine, Merlot, and Evian water bottles rested in a cooler below the counter. Designer coffee, and herbal tea carafes lined one end of the recycled glass counter top. The other end housed several silver platters with fresh cut pineapples, champagne grapes, kiwi and strawberries, as well as crackers and cheese, which Tierra made a B-Line for. Several ladies dressed in all black stood near a black curtain at the end of a small runway, while two attendants stood near the food area dressed in black pants and white button-down shirts with white gloves. There were several clothing and accessory brochures placed across one large table that sat in front of two white circular sofas.

"Let's go girls... get your rumps into gear!" Marques clapped his hands together while walking through the curtain, shooing the ladies inside as he went. "White Ball items please... the Triple A list," he smiled, winking back at the trio before he disappeared.

Marques had been the ladies' personal shopper of sorts, ever since the first time Tierra wandered into Tigrez lost, looking for somewhere to shop, two years ago. He knew what was going on in the market and abroad in the entertainment and business worlds. It was his job to know what his clients would be in the market for, and he was _very_ good at his job. With ViFlaa Entertainment's White Ball coming up, he knew these three particular ladies would want the very best, the elite and more importantly, the very exclusive.

The models walked down the small runway in gowns ranging from conservative, to extravagant, to super flashy, all the way to the little to no material at all. The ladies sat back and enjoyed the luxuries that their lives had afforded them. For Shireece, it was an excuse to charge up Sean's Platinum card and spend time with her girl, Tierra. Shopping was their favorite thing to do ever since they received their first paycheck as teenagers. Now, they could afford to shop and not worry about having to choose between two outfits.

"This is the life ladies," Bridget started, as she lifted her glass of white wine, with a strawberry hanging on the rim. "Here's to our incredibly successful lives and our Girl's night out."

They all smiled, tapped one another's glass, leaned back, and breathed in deep.

Shireece suddenly sat up, swallowed the last sip of the wine in her glass, and pointed, "That's it, that's the one!"

Tierra and Bridget stared at each other, then the dress, then directly at Shireece, like she had lost her mind.

"Really Shireece? You're definitely going to knock Sean on his ass with that one!" Tierra said, turning her head sideways, looking at the dress.

Bridget motioned for the model to turn around before she spoke, "You young girls. Are you serious? Where the heck is the rest of it?"

The three ladies looked at each other, and fell back on the sofa laughing.

## The Morning After

Tierra's Blackberry began buzzing and woke her up from a deep sleep. She slipped her hand from under her blanket and snatched it off her nightstand. There was no way she would have over looked an appointment. That just didn't happen... often. Besides, if she had an appointment, Terri would have reminded her yesterday before she left the office. But since she didn't, why was her alarm beeping?

_Lunch with Qu, 12PM, JC's_ it read highlighted in neon green.

"Man, how did I forget that? It's after 11:00, JC's is in Amherst, twenty to thirty minutes away," she mumbled tossing the covers off her head. If she was up, she might be able to get ready and be just a few minutes late. As it was though, she had a long night out playing _Charlie's Angels_. The trio returned to Tierra's house after they left Tigrez, and stayed up most of the night gossiping, drinking and watching _Takers_ They teased one another, talking junk about what they would do to their favorite male character if given the chance.

"Brandon!" she yelled, nearly causing her head to throb.

"Yes Ms. Rodriquez," a young, attractive Brandon, her domestic technician answered, leaning his head inside Tierra's door.

"I think I had one too many _Jolly Ranchers_ , or whatever those things were called Bridget had us drinking last night," she confessed sitting up on the side of her bed. She looked up at Brandon as the room began to instantly spin.

She attempted to stand up, but her feet had other plans, "Whoa there Nelly..." she laughed softly, as Brandon rushed in to aide her. With his assistance she slid her feet into her slippers and made her way to the kitchen. He aided her onto an upholstered turquoise, brown and orange striped, high back bar stools at the center island.

Brandon knew exactly what to do next, and reached into the freezer for an ice bag for her aching head, then plugged in her Keurig. Once the green light came on he placed her new favorite mug on the stand, her favorite flavor coffee K-cup in its place, and pressed the button to make a full cup. As he moved about, she hoped what he was doing would be the cure for the nausea she was suddenly feeling.

"I better call Qu and tell him I'm not going to make it. I hope he hasn't already headed out. He's going to think I'm blowing him off. Brandon be a dear and grab my cell please, it's on my night stand."

While Brandon walked to her bedroom and picked up her phone off the nightstand, Tierra laid her head on the cool, granite counter-top. Attempting to shield her eyes from the pain the over-head kitchen lights, she covered her head with her hands.

"Here you go Miss," he said sliding the phone in front of her. She slowly picked up the phone and looked through her contacts for Qu's number, but couldn't find it.

"Stupid! I never got his number. I bet he's not at the office either. Its forty-five minutes from his office to the restaurant. Now he'll really think I stood him up," she looked around the room, at the calendar, and then into space, as if the number would magically appear. Finally giving up on that idea, she put her head back on the counter top and exhaled in an over exaggerated manner, causing her lips to flutter.

"Oh well, nothing else I can do Brandon. Do not disturb me!" she warned him, shrugging her shoulders. She took a slow sip of the cup of coffee he slid in front of her. Then slowly, and unsteadily, walked off towards her bedroom, resigning herself to her _Jacuzu_ . There was nothing she could do about Qu, until he called. So she figured she'd try to soak her migraine away.

"Brandon, just lock up as usual when you're done for the day. Okay?" was the last thing she said before she walked into her bedroom.

## Why Him?

"Ms. Rodriquez, excuse me?" Brandon spoke in a soft voice from outside her bedroom door. "I'm sorry. I know you said not to bother you, but you have a visitor."

Tierra shot him a look that said, _you are so fired_ , from inside the bathroom. If he could have seen her face, the look she had would have put Medusa's gaze to shame.

"He said I'd be in big trouble if I didn't tell you he's here," he went on in an apologetic tone.

"Who is it Brandon?" she asked, stepping out of her sanctuary, snatching her bathrobe off the hook behind the door.

"He said you'd know who it is. I wanted to let you know before I left. It is actually 12:30pm and I'm finished for the day."

She was mumbling angrily to herself, as she walked towards the front of her condo. Normally, she'd never answer a door in her robe, but since Brandon had already let them in, and he was on his way out... she decided to take a quick peek. When she reached the end of her hallway, with a bird's eye view to the front door, she didn't see anyone.

"Brandon, I thought you said..." she began, as he walked passed her, winking. He pointed back towards the kitchen, where she heard a familiar voice humming, as he closed the door behind him.

"See, I knew you were going to be a no show. So I brought lunch to you instead," Aquarian said, taking food boxes out of a brown paper bag from _JC's_ , and set them on the counter top.

"Qu seriously, you know I wouldn't stand you up on purpose, right? Unlike you, who went and got all my information, you left me none on you. I don't have any of your numbers. I would have called you..." she tried to apologize. "Shireece, Bridget and I pulled an all-nighter and I guess I slept in extra late. I'm sorry," she whined, poking out her bottom lip, batting her eyelashes.

"Yeah, yeah sure and don't be trying that ole' puppy dog face with me girl, this isn't junior high," he laughed, trying not to look up. He couldn't resist though, and was surprised to find Tierra standing in the middle of the kitchen, her hair all wet and curly, and she... well she was wrapped in the same silk animal print bathrobe he gave her the year he moved to Cali.

"But hey, that wet I just stepped out the shower look, now that works for me. Did I umm... interrupt you? I mean if you have company, I can come back another time," he asked sarcastically, clearing his throat and dramatically placing the food boxes back in the bag.

"Stop playing Qu. I was in my _Jacuzu_ trying to ward off this killer of a hangover, slash migraine," she rushed over to him and stood on her tip toes trying to reach around him, to take the box of food away from him. She tried not to laugh, but he continually turned his back, keeping the food from her grasp and she couldn't help it. "I'm starving Qu, stop playing! You nearly got poor Brandon fired you know. He knows better than to interrupt my bath time."

Qu turned around and faced her, and she reached out to grab the box from his hand. He instinctually reached out his hand to block her, but instead slid his directly into her barely tied bathrobe. They both gasped simultaneously as his hand brushed over her still damp breast.

Tierra immediately jerked herself back, and tightened her robe around her neck. Stunned, Qu placed his hands toy soldier style, by his side and focused his attention on the hardwood floor beneath him. He was too embarrassed to look in Tierra's eyes.

"Yeah, hmm... I'll be back," she said, nervously. "Let me go put on something a little more... appropriate."

"What's wrong with the robe? It's your house, be comfortable," he called to her, regaining his composure as she rushed down the hall. He finished setting the boxes on the table and opening them. "I'm just saying, it's a nice robe," he whispered to himself, popping a boneless rib into his mouth.

***

In record time, for her, Tierra stood at the entry-way to the kitchen. She was dressed in a faded blue jean skirt that stopped just above her knees, a pink and white striped sweater that hugged her waistline and swayed off one shoulder. Her thick legs were covered in white knee-high boots. She wore a silver 24' necklace with a pink crystal heart at the end, a matching pink crystal bracelet and a pair of pink crystal heart earrings to complete her ensemble. Her long hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and the aroma of her secret scent, a mixture of Avon's, _Goddess_ and _China Musk_ oil flowed from her body.

Tierra bought complete outfits when she shopped. That's just how a Diva did things. You shop head to toe, so she convinced herself. She would never buy an outfit without the matching shoes, purse and accessories.

" _What's an outfit without the right accessories?"_ she told Mozella Robinson, owner of _Allezom International_ , when she was interviewed two years ago. " _An outfit is only as good as the accessories you match it with. The wrong accessories can ruin even a $1000 hook up or make a $100 one, look like you spent $1000 on it._ "

"Damn, baby girl! I told you you've grown up!" Qu exclaimed, choking on his drink, when he finally noticed her.

"Shut-up boy, you're crazy," she smiled, walking over to him, punching him in the arm. "So, thanks for lunch. I'm surprised that you remember what I like to eat from there," she continued, picking up a chicken finger off the plate Qu made for her and taking a bite of it. "How have you been? It's been so long since we've talked. I want the unofficial, official scoop," she grinned, catching a piece of the battered fried chicken tender as it fell from her mouth. She leaned over the counter taking another chicken finger off the plate, and held it up towards him, pretending it was a microphone. She was ready for the inside scoop.

"Things are OK, I suppose. I know one thing though; I'm not going another second without getting one of your infamous hugs. I miss those the most. Now, get your butt over here!" he demanded, sneaking a bite of her pretend microphone.

Tierra smiled. She missed him so much. He was so silly, and someone she totally trusted. Hugging him was like a picnic in the shade on a sunny July day. Beyond Wonderful! She walked over to him from her side of the kitchen island and reached up on her tippy toes. Even with the added three inches from her heels on she was still too short to easily get her arms around his neck. He leaned down and the two lost friends embraced, sealing their reconnection. Tierra took a deep breath, trying to be inconspicuous as she took in his scent. Yup, he still smelled the way her mother told her a man was supposed to smell, GREAT!

Qu lingered in their embrace and wrapped his hands tightly around her, lifting her up off the floor. It seemed as if he didn't want to let go.

"Um, Qu?" Tierra said tapping his arm, feeling a little odd in his lingered embrace.

"My bad, I didn't know I had a time limit," he teased.

"Yeah, yeah, so back to the topic at hand, don't think you're getting off that easily sir. I've been reading about you lately. Things should be going really well for you. What brought you back here, not that I'm not overjoyed to see you? How are your parents?"

"Ok, dang! I thought you left your job with Ms. Anisa years ago."

"Just answer the questions sir!" she laughed.

"First of all, Mom and pops are doing fine. I just saw them a little while ago, they said hi. Next, I'm here because I needed a change from that label in Cali. Things weren't working out there for me anymore. The politics became more important to them than signing people with any real talent. I never got into this field for the publicity. I just love great music and discovering hot new artist. That's what gets me high. And as for your third question, I don't know anything about what all your magazines are saying. You know they say what they want to. Now, what about you?"

"Well, since we last spoke I was promoted to Director of the MM&E Department at Baxwell Enterprisez. I've had my share of interviews and features in magazines, but no covers yet. And lastly, mom is good," she lied, not really knowing how her mother was, since she rarely spoke to her.

"What? You must have made them cats over there really mad. I saw those dude's faces when I came through before I left, last year. They definitely hated on you. I guess you've proven that you have what it takes, though, not that I ever doubted that you had it in you."

"Yeah, I guess. It's just hard, ya know? It's crazy pressure. They are always waiting for me to fail. Like if I don't land every single account, it'll prove Mr. Baxwell made a mistake. Even though none of them were making even half the quota that I make, not then and definitely not now. But I can feel their evil stares as soon I step off the elevator..." Tierra's thoughts trailed off, she had never revealed to anyone how she really felt about being the only woman in an executive position at Baxwell, or all the pressure she felt it put her under. She realized at that moment how much she really needed her best friend.

"Well chica, all I can tell you is to just keep doing what you love, and as long as you love what you're doing, then don't worry about them cats. Now, if any of them get out of hand..." he said standing to his feet, slamming his right fist into his left palm.

"Easy Tiger... don't worry, I can handle them," she smiled, sliding a spoonful of rice into her mouth.

"I have no doubt that you can, but you know where I am if you need a tag team partner," he smiled lifting his hand, as Tierra jumped up to high five him.

"Ok. So, tell me, how did you and Vito hook up as partners? That's got to be a story all itself."

"Well, we were both at this event at the _Basketball Hall of Fame_. One of my artists was performing, and V knew the athlete being honored. So I'm doing my managerial thing, and he's checking out all the ladies, as usual. You know Vito."

Tierra nodded in agreement, rolling her eyes, with a frown on her face.

"That's when we see each other and it's like _Yo dawg, where you been, what's up...you know how we do._ We start talking, and I tell him how I'm not feeling the label any more. He tells me how his business is picking up, but, he had to let go of his head A&R rep. Funny thing was, he let go of his A&R for the same reason I wanted to leave my company. They couldn't tell _real_ talent if it walked up and spit in their face. Some woman who was sitting next to us was ease dropping looked up and said, ' _sounds like you two should work together_ '.

"Ahh man," Tierra said, knowing where this was about to go.

"Yup, you know Vito. His butt was about to say something real wild to her. I could see it in his eyes. So I stepped in his line of sight and turned and led him in the other direction. That was the beginning of our business relationship. I went back to my label, and put in my two-week notice, used the vacation time I had built up, and went home to VA to finish up some things I was dealing with concerning mom and pops. Vito hooked me up with his real estate agent, so while I was at home, she was looking for a house, condo, or something for me this way," he explained.

"Vito is too funny. I was really happy, yet surprised when he signed the last group that I sent his way."

"You know good and well that you have a great ear for music and talent. He loves those guys. They're going to be my first assignment once I'm officially on the label's payroll. Right now I'm just getting a feel for the city and ViFlaa, ya know? There's a lot of paper work to go over and what not. That was part of the reason I went home and not straight here..." his words trailed off.

"So how long have you been in town then?"

"Um, less than a week. I've been catching up with Vito, getting settled into my new place. Ya know I had to furnish it and all that. I love it though, it's up on a hill," he paused, before continuing. "When did you speak to your mother last?"

"Honestly, it's been a little while," she admitted. "I mean she's been calling me something fierce lately, but I've been really busy. Where is this lady of yours, and when can I meet her?" she asked changing the subject. "I mean what kind of woman leaves a man like you all alone with another woman? She teased

Qu remained quiet. He raised his eyebrow, and puffed his lips slightly.

"Don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about sir," she began. "I read about you two a while ago! You know Anisa still sends me a copy of the magazine every month. I saw the two of you together in... oh man, what's it called... you know Danielle's magazine. So-Fhy Magazine, that's it. Chick had a big ole' rock adorning her finger..." Tierra said, wiggling her ring finger around. "It didn't really look like an engagement ring, but they said the two of you were engaged and today pretty much anything can be an engagement ring. She was older than I thought you'd go for. But then, you always were mature for your age, so I guess it makes sense. Don't you dare try to tell me you're not engaged either. Danielle and Anisa can't both be wrong!" Tierra smiled, feeling sure of herself as she continued eating her lunch.

"Ti, I'm not engaged!" he insisted.

"What? Come on Qu, what's the deal? Don't tell me that chick left you? She'd be hella stupid to leave a man like you. Shoot, you lucky we're so close, or I'd be after you myself," she giggled taking another bite of her food.

She looked over at Qu, who was awkwardly quiet and still. A somber and pale look had seized his once vibrant face. He wasn't smiling or commenting on any of her remarks about his fiancée. She stood up and walked over to where he was sitting on a bar stool and turned him to face her.

"Peanut Butter, what's going on? You look like I just punched you in the gut."

A single tear slowly flowed down his cheek and he quickly rose from his stool, brushed past her and walked out the room.

"Where is the bathroom in this place?" he yelled, his voice cracking as he spoke. He spun around, and waved his hands, avoiding eye contact with her. "Why you buy this big place, Tierra? Where the hell is the bathroom?"

She paused, the Cuban in her blood boiling as she was about to tell him about himself. But she could hear the hurt behind his words and paused. She walked over to him, took his hand in hers, and turning him towards her with her other hand. Though he wanted to resist, he followed her lead, his face now soaked like he unexpectedly was caught in a sprinkler.

When you looked at Qu, you'd never think he was an overly emotional man. Style wise, he could hang with the best of them. He had a casual yet stylish sense of dress. Physically, he was very well built, chestnut complexion, eyes a shade of green so deep they looked fake, and skin smooth like silk, not an imperfection anywhere. He towered over Tierra's short stature, at about 6 foot 5 inches with braids that fell well just below his shoulders. He was a man's man, but, catch him on the right day at the right time, and you might get a glimpse of a whole other side of Aquarian Skeene.

Tierra always thought of him as one of the most handsome brotha's on the planet, besides her father, that is, who passed away when she was ten. His mother hated it, but when he turned thirteen he stopped cutting his hair. He told her if Samson's strength was in his hair, how we know God even wants us to cut our hair?' He was good for some smart remark like that back then, sarcastic, yet respectful. He had his father to teach him how to be a man, unlike their other friends. Those lessons stayed with him as he matured into an adult. Church was a chore at first, but eventually grew to truly love the Lord and became what Tierra thought a true Christian man would be like.

Tierra left the whole church thing alone shortly after her father's death, to the disappointment of her mother. She hadn't stepped foot inside a church for nearly 18 years. But in that moment, with her best friend in the midst of something seemingly heavy, to her surprise she thought, 'God give me the words to be a help to him.

She led him to the living room where they sat on her white Helmsley sectional. As soon as Tierra released his hand, Qu immediately covered his face.

"What happened, Qu? We go back too far for you to be in this much pain and not tell me what's going on."

She slid closer to him on the sofa and looked at him empathetically. He sat still, and Tierra sat quiet, patiently waiting for him to speak. But, if he didn't talk soon, she was going to call her girls, and they were going to find this woman, whoever she was that broke his heart, and break her into a few million pieces.

"Listen, if you don't want to talk about it... we don't have to."

She ran her fingertips across the brim of Qu's brown multi-colored Fedora hat that he wore in his usual pretty boy tilt. She removed it and sat it on the table in front of them. When she touched his chin, she felt his body jump, before he removed his hands and faced her.

"If you want, I'm here to listen. If you want to just sit, we can do that too."

Qu continued to sit silently, and then he stood up, walked over to the window and looked out. He took a deep breath, wiped his face with his hands before opening his mouth to speak. Then he began slowly, "Her name is Beautiful."

"Like that girl in ' _You Got Served'_?

"Yeah, only she uses one L not two, like that character did.

"Hmm, well you know I always thought that was a cute name," Tierra interrupted, and then realized she cut him off. "I'm sorry, please continue."

"It's ok. Funny you said that, because that's exactly what I told her when we met."

"You brought me up on your first meeting? Qu, no wonder she left your ass," she smiled, hoping to lighten the tension in the air.

Qu smiled "No, you don't understand. Over time she heard lots about you, she couldn't wait to meet you."

"Really? So, why haven't I heard about her?"

"Well, seeing as we've been out of touch for about a year, and I've only officially known her for about three months, that would explain why, but she already liked you so much. I think you two would have really gotten along well. She was supposed to come here this week with me to meet you. Actually, she was the one that picked out your dress and accessories."

"Damn, the girl has got great taste. So what happened? Why didn't she come down?"

He hesitated, and forcibly swallowed before he continued, "About three weeks ago, while I was back home, she came with me to my parent's house for their anniversary," he started as moist droplets began to run down his face. He put his hands up in the air, stood to his feet and shouted, "Why God?!"

Tierra rose and gently guided him back to the sofa and kneeled in front of him as he sat down.

"Listen, you don't have to say anymore. I'm so sorry, me and my nosy self."

"Ti, she's gone, she wasn't my..." he stuttered, "she was... and now... she's gone!"

He was crying and talking at the same time, huffing, and inhaling deep between incoherent sentences. It was all but impossible for Tierra to fully understand what he was trying to say.

"She went back to her hotel," he began again, calming himself down. "We had forgotten my mom's & dad's present. I tried to get her to let me go. Mom told her not to worry about it. But, she told the both of us, 'Today is your anniversary and today you'll get your present' and insisted on going to get it."

Qu continued to gather his thoughts and composure as he continued: "I called her on her cell phone. It was taking longer than it should have for her return and I was driving mom crazy worrying about where she was at. When I finally reached her, she said she was about five minutes away, coming down that back road by the farm... Then I heard her horn, a scream, and a loud noise, and then... nothing. Nothing but the horn.

Tierra closed her eyes. Her soul paused in disbelief. The picture Qu was painting of Beautiful was completely opposite of what Tierra originally thought. Her heart ached at the thought of what Qu had to be going through. She hoped this story wasn't going to end where it seemed to be going. Her own breathing was labored, as she focused on Qu's words and began to construct a vivid picture of events. She even remembered the dirt road that he mentioned Beautiful was on, when he last spoke to her.

Her emotions poured out as she began to silently weep with him. His chest was rising and falling faster with each breath, she noticed as she looked up at him. His heartbeat was actually visible through his shirt. She sat on the floor at his feet and laid her head on his knee, as tears flowed from her eyes, while he finished.

"The line went dead. And... and I kept calling her phone, but it went right to voicemail. Chamani burst through the back door, huffing and puffing. She said there was an accident down the road. My heart dropped... I knew it was her!"

Qu began to rock back and forth on the sofa. The look of sorrow on his face was gut wrenching and heartbreaking. The tears rained down, like a monsoon from his reddened eyes. His voice was cracking and beginning to sound hoarse, as he spoke. Tierra's hands were shaking. Her body was trembling and a feeling of helplessness came over her. She reached for his hand and slipped her fingers in between his.

"I couldn't move fast enough... I could hear sirens... and I guess I never heard mom screaming my name... and poor dad was no match for me as he tried to hold me back when I saw her car. I just fell... I fell on my knees Ti. Her car... that road was so dark... it was raining and Mr. Peter's damn dog! The officer said she must have swerved, and..." he couldn't get the rest out, and Tierra didn't need to hear anymore. She knew the rest. It was exactly as she thought. He just sat there, eyes red, body trembling, rivers running down his face.

Tierra pulled herself up from the floor and went to the kitchen and poured him a glass of water. Returning to the living room, she grabbed a black hand towel from the half bath and sat the glass on the table. She sat on the sofa next to Qu and wrapped him in her embrace, cradling his head with her hand. ' _Why Qu'_ , she thought? Why do bad things happen to such good people? She knew the pain of losing a loved one. She lost her father. It's an unbearable pain, and it's unfair. Releasing her embrace, she turned and used the towel in her hand to gently wipe his tear soaked face. She took a deep breath while Qu sat in a daze. It appeared he was looking at her as she dried his tears, but she knew his thoughts were far away.

"Qu, I'm so, so sorry for your loss," she started, looking deep into his eyes. "I won't say I know how you feel. I just know you have to be hurting bad right now. Please tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it!" she paused, not wanting to be insensitive. But she needed to ask one question. Cautiously she continued, "You said, you've been here about a week and you went home about three weeks ago, so... when did...?"

Qu looked directly in her eyes. He knew he made the right decision in opening up to her. And he knew what she was trying to ask. He took a long deep breath, slowly exhaling before answering her question.

"Beautiful was in the hospital for a few days before she died. They expected her to die within a few hours of arriving. But she held on for nearly 48 hours. I stayed right at her bedside every day, her hand in mine. She was so badly bruised from the accident; it pained me to see her that way. It's both ironic and sad that-that was the first time I laid eyes on her parents, as she laid on her deathbed," his words trailed and became mumbled again as he tried to finish. "She was unconscious, except for one brief moment. She opened her eyes, squeezed my hand and locked me in her stare, and though it was hard for her, she said, ' _I love you, from the moment I laid eyes on you, I loved you. Finish what we started. Go and see Tierra, before it's too late!_ "Then she looked around the room, smiled at everyone, closed her eyes and... was gone."

Now Tierra was really puzzled. "What? Why would she say that?" she turned to Qu, her eyebrows high arched.

Qu straightened himself up on the sofa. He leaned down and picked up the glass of water off the table, took a sip, and then another, before answering her question. "Ti, I always felt bad that you and I stopped talking after I went to Cali. We were always close. I was your Peanut Butter, you were my Jelly," he smiled a little. "And, Beautiful knew that; she couldn't wait to meet you and bring us back together. She would say that she couldn't wait to share that bond with you. She wanted to thank you for being my friend. With her last breath, she told me to thank you for her. I kissed her, she smiled, and that was that," he was trying to be so brave. But there was no way for him to hold back the emotions that were held back behind his eyes.

Tierra, equally had tears falling down her face. She couldn't believe someone she never met would think so highly of her, to mention her on their death bed? That's like beyond weird. She was honored, confused and sorry she never had the chance to meet the love of her best friend's life. While Qu took another sip of his water, she stood up to get herself a drink. Water was just not going to cut it. She needed something a bit stronger, so she mixed her a glass of mango juice and _Bacardi Melon_.

She sat down, took a big sip from her glass, then placed it on the table and leaned back on the sofa. She guided Qu's head over to her lap. It had been years since either of them used each other for a shoulder to cry on. It felt good to be able to provide some sense of comfort for him. She ran her hands over his braids, feeling the wetness on her thighs as tears fell from him. She took a deep breath and thought, ' _Sorry I never had the chance to meet you Beautiful, and thank you for sending him back to me_."

"Qu," Tierra started, "Beautiful sounds like she was a wonderful woman. I'm sorry I missed the chance to meet her."

"Me too. You two would have been good friends."

After they both calmed down, they talked all night, catching up on their careers, their family, and Tierra's lack of a love life. Qu teased her about still being single and reminded her of the house full of children she used to say she was going to have, and the daughter named _Mercedes_. Tierra reminded Qu how he equally loved that name. They laughed, and it felt good to be with someone she trusted again. They talked until they fell asleep on the sofa, Tierra curled up on Qu's chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

PB&J was back, and she wasn't letting them escape each other again... ever. She hated herself for not being there for him in his time of need. But she would be right there, available for him from now on.

She promised him that, as she drifted to sleep.

## Time to face the music!

Tierra lay back on her bed looking up at the ceiling, her body seemed to sink deeper into the overstuffed feather comforter that rested on her bed. It had been two days since her night with Qu and there were a million thoughts running ramped through her mind ever since.

She was dreading what she was about to do, but knew it had to be done. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and held it before releasing a long restless sigh. Sitting up on her bed, she picked up one of her king sized pillows and picked up the cordless phone off its cradle on her nightstand. Dialing the number to the house she was born and raised in was suddenly the hardest thing she's ever done.

"Good morning, God Bless," her mother's voice sang, in its usual pleasant tone.

"Hello Mom, is that you?"

"Yes it's me, who else would it be Tierra?" Nicole Rodriquez replied.

"Hmm, so what's going on? How is mi Abuela?" she asked about her grandmother.

There was a long silence.

"Mom, que pasa? I know it's been a long time since I've called and you're probably upset about that but...

"Honey," Mrs. Rodriquez interrupted, "maybe you better sit down."

"What? Why do I need to sit? Mom what's wrong, is it Abuela?"

"No baby, your grandma is fine. I was wondering if you heard from Aquarian?"

Tierra inhaled and closed her eyes. She released silently and recalled Wednesday's long emotional night. She knew what her mother was about to say, and she was not looking forward to reliving the evening all over again.

"Mom, stop please. I know what you're about to say. Qu called me out of the blue on Friday. We talked a bit and made a date to have lunch Wednesday. I asked him about things and before I knew it he told me all about Beautiful."

"Aquarian is there? He left here a lil over a week ago, the day after she was buried. He hasn't called his mother, Beautiful's mom, or anyone since he left. I've been trying to get in touch with you since he left. In case he got in contact with you. I wanted to prepare you, and I guess I was right," she said not hiding her obvious irritation at her daughter ignoring her calls. Mrs. Skeene who was Qu's mother, and Rochelle Young who was Beautiful's mother, were sitting in the dining room. They had been meeting every day, hoping Nicole was able to get in touch with Tierra. But as always, she didn't take her mother's calls.

She thought about all the calls she had religiously turned away. If she hadn't been so busy avoiding her mother, she could have been prepared for Qu when he showed up. She would have known all he was going through.

"Tierra, are you there?"

"He cried all night Mom. He could barely tell me what happened. I asked him about Beautiful and he just cried, barely able to explain what happened. He's in really bad shape," her emotions began to build again as she explained.

"Who's there with you?" she asked hearing several voices in the background.

"It's me Tierra," Mrs. Skeene announced, as Tierra's mother handed her the phone. "Thank God, my baby found you young lady. Nicole gave him your new number and address a few days before the accident. I hope you don't mind. He and Beautiful were going to come and visit you," she paused, pulling in the air around her slowly. "Tierra how is he?" her concern for her only son evident in her tone. Tierra could hear the emotions in her voice, though there was 800 miles between them.

"He's understandably in a lot of pain. But, I don't understand why he came back here," she was still puzzled about a deathbed plea by a woman she'd never seen or talked to before. Why would she be so adamant that Qu rekindle their friendship? She didn't know a woman on earth that would do such a thing. Maybe his mother could shed some light on things, she hoped. "Shouldn't he be there with you and her family, grieving?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways Tierra. You two were inseparable when you were young. God sent him to you now."

"He said Beautiful sent him to me," Tierra corrected, not wanting to give God credit for their reconnection.

"Baby, whoever said the actual words, it was God's plan that he be there with you, to get through this. It was Beautiful's wish that he rebuild his connection with you. He missed you, truth be told. God knows what he needed, and he sent him to you, through her," she replied, soft-spoken.

Tierra rolled her eyes, from her end of the phone. Why was everyone trying to slide God into her life? Didn't they know the two of them were no longer on speaking terms?

"Tierra?"

"Yes Ma'am?"

"Take good care of my only son, Ok? Get him to church. He needs God to get through this. Don't let him forget that... promise?"

"Ma'am maybe I'm not the best person to be telling him that," Tierra protested. There was no way she was stepping foot in a church, not even for Qu. "I mean I haven't seen the inside of a church in... well since before I left home."

"You're the person," Mrs. Skeene said in a matter-a-fact tone and gave Mrs. Rodriquez back the phone.

"Tierra? Call me soon Ok?"

"Yes, Mama I will," she promised, replacing the phone on its cradle.

She grabbed her favorite stuffed Tiger off her bed, a gift from her father on her birthday the year he passed. She held it to her face, screamed into it, and let herself fall back on the bed, arms open wide.

"Don't think you're going to get me into no church!" she said pointing to the ceiling. "I don't need to go in with him, for him to go. HE needs you, not me!"

She stood up and headed for the bathroom. She turned on her IPod system, and began to get ready to release her emotions away in her favorite place in the whole wide world.

Jacuzu Time.

## By any means necessary

It was Sunday morning and Tierra had another week of vacation left. Over the weekend, she was bored out her mind. She spent hours aimlessly flipping through movies on _Netflix, and Fios_ on demand, and exercising using her _Xbox 360_ 's, Zumba on _Kinetic_ . She had-had enough. Qu was still racing through her mind. They had only spoken briefly this morning. She offered to take him out for Sunday brunch, but, he said he was going to find a church home, away from home. Relieved he was looking on his own, she was glad she wasn't going to have to break her promise to his mother, about making sure he went.

After they hung up, she called her boss at home. Being the top ranking executive in the company had its perks. One was being able to get in touch with the CEO 24/7.

"Good afternoon sir," she began in a pleasant tone.

"Tierra?! This is an unexpected delight. What can I do for you this beautiful Sunday morning?" he inquired as if he didn't know.

"I'm good sir. Sorry to bother you at home on the weekend. It's just that, I know that you ordered me to stay out for two weeks, but..."

"OK Mrs. Rodriquez!" Mr. Baxwell laughed, "I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning," he replied. As far as Mr. Baxwell concerned, he was surprised he hadn't heard from her sooner. One week was better than no time at all. He needed her in her best form mentally, and relaxed for what was coming up. He hung up his phone, wondering if his plan would be as successful as he envisioned.

"Thank you sir. I do appreciate it," she responded. "See you in the morning."

***

Tierra was glad Mr. Baxwell let her return to work earlier than scheduled. She hadn't taken one day off in the three years she'd been with the company. Now she knew why. Too much drama happened when she wasn't drowned in day to day going on's of her clients. She welcomed the diversion of the never ending demands and phone calls of her clients. Even the daily gossip around the water cooler would be a welcomed intrusion.

The driver opened the passenger side door of her black, _Cadillac XTS_ , and helped her out. She looked up at the Baxwell Enterprisez's building and beamed inside as she made her way towards the main entrance.

Terri arrived early, and was already in business mode. She was hard at work checking emails and catching up on what happened in the office while the duo was out for the past week. Terri, like Mr. Baxwell, wasn't surprised to receive a call from Tierra Sunday afternoon explaining that she was returning to work. Tierra offered her the option to finish her vacation and take the rest of the week off. But that was not an option. There was no way Terri was going to allow any of those secretaries' at the office to think her desk was available. Little known secret was that Terri had her share of envious women at the office. Any one of them would all love to be Tierra's right hand gal. So, she thanked Tierra for the offer, but assured her that she would be at the office bright and early. Naturally she was.

"Mrs. Rodriquez?!" a petite, busty, blonde secretary exclaimed, making eye contact as soon as Tierra stepped off the elevator. "Oh my goodness, I'm so glad you're back! We thought maybe you went to work for another company," she revealed, shaking Tierra's hand.

"Nice to know I was missed. But no, I haven't left. I just took some vacation time," Tierra smiled, pulling her hand from the woman's over enthusiastic clutches. She began her walk through the sea of envious male colleagues, smiling firmly at them, as they snickered and frowned. So much for that rumor, along with their hopes of taking her place!

She continued on towards her office, her mind wandering. She was tired of feeling like eyes were on her 24/7. Yet, she had no intentions of apologizing for being better at what she did than others were. As she passed Mr. Baxwell's glass framed corner office, she acknowledged him with a friendly wave and smile. Though on a phone call, he reciprocated with a smile and wave of his own. When she arrived at her office, she smiled at Terri, pushed down on the gold handle, closed her eyes, and swung open the double doors. Once inside, she quickly secured them behind her. She allowed her body to rest against the mahogany doors and inhaled deep. The aroma of her leather furniture and jars of mango/tangerine air fresheners filled the air. Her eyes widened, as a smile filled her face. She released her breath, relieved the so-called vacation was finally over.

When she opened her eyes, she scanned the room. For some reason something felt different, odd. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed something. Something she was sure wasn't there when she left a week ago. There was a guest lying quiet and still, yet she wasn't expecting any visitors. In fact no one but Terri and Mr. Baxwell knew she was going to be back today.

She crept up on the uninvited guest as it lay asleep on a tiger print cushion. As she moved closer, the small creature began to stir, and then sat up. Its golden fur shimmered in the sun's rays as it wiggled its body, tilting its small head to one side. It wagged its tail, like it knew who Tierra was.

Tierra noticed a small turquoise heart on its collar and leaned down to see if there was some information on it.

"Where'd you come from, huh?" she said towards the puppy, who simply yawned, stretched, and then jumped up and wrapped its paws around Tierra's wrist. "Bella, is that your name?"

Tierra thought there had to be some mistake. A puppy? How in the heck did someone sneak a puppy in her office and who would do such a thing? She looked around her office further and noticed a red glass vase with a sorted array of flowers, including her favorite pink _Dahlia's_ , and white long stem roses. She scanned more to see if there were any other mammals or garden items looming around that she should be aware of. After seeing none, she walked to her office door, opened it and re-read the name on the nameplate. Assured that she was in the right office, she closed the door, not mentioning a word to Terri. She walked over to her desk, picked up the card that was leaning up against the vase, and read it.

My dearest Tia'wanna,

Thank you for listening to me last week. You were, and always have been my earthly angel. I hope you don't have one of these lil' guy, I didn't see one at your place, and I remember you said you always wanted one. I figured, since you had given up on the family, husband and marriage dream, that I could at least help you out with the puppy. Oh, by the way, I purchased a year of a dog sitting service, and a personal trainer to get her house trained, I know you are a very busy woman.

Tierra for real, please know that you are the Jelly to my Peanut Butter.

Te Amo, siempre y para siempre.

Aquarian Marques Skeene

"Aquarian?" she remarked, looking at the card as if it could answer her. "He has never ever used his _FULL_ government name, not with me anyway. Shoot, and he used to write me many a note... and the only time..."

Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her stomach, and thrust herself forward, wrapping her arms around her waist. Sweat began to form on her forehead and she felt like the walls were closing in on her. Something was wrong. She reached for her intercom, and then remembered she still hadn't asked Qu for his phone number.

"Oh my goodness! Are you serious? I've got to call my Mom. Either she'll have his number, or she can call Mrs. Skeene."

She paused for a moment as she raised the phone to her ear.

"God Bless, good morning," her mother sang as usual.

"Mom, it's me."

"Wow, you really did call back!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

Before her mother could utter another word, Tierra got to the point of her call. "Mom listen, do you have Qu's number? I never got it from him, and I need to talk to him, now!"

"What do you mean? What's wrong Tierra?"

"I don't know mom! All I know is, I just walked into my office and this man has left flowers, a freaking Coker Spaniel puppy, and a card which he signed, _Aquarian_! Do you remember the one and only time he signed something to me using his full name?"

Reflecting her aging memory banks, Mrs. Rodriquez suddenly understood the cause of Tierra's concern. She called Mrs. Skeene on three-way, who gave Tierra her son's information.

"He still hasn't answered any of my calls Tierra. Call me when you talk to him, please?" she begged.

"I will," she stated, hanging up the phone before Mrs. Skeene could say another word. She dialed the number she was given so fast she wasn't sure if she dialed it right or not.

"Please pick up. Come on Qu, pick up," she was taping her foot on the floor so hard and fast that the puppy, which had been calm all this time, ran from its cushion towards Tierra, and looked at her as if it knew something was wrong.

"Hello, hold on," Qu mumbled in a very low voice.

"QU...QU? Don't you put me on hold!" she yelled into her cell.

She could hear shuffling and a loud voice yelling in the background. There were some mumbled sounds, then dead silence. Tierra became tense thinking about what could be going on. She was about to hang up and call 911, when he returned to the line.

"OK, hello?"

"WHERE IN THE HELL ARE YOU?! And, what's up with this damn Aquarian mess you wrote on this card?" she screamed, not allowing him to reply before continuing, "and why haven't you called your mother? She is going crazy with grief and worry about you! In fact not only your mother, but my mother, Beautiful's mom, and now you can add me to that list of people who have no clue as to what's going on with you!" she growled at him.

"Ti, I know you're all upset. But... can I call you back?" he replied in an even lower voice.

"WHAT? Hell NO, you can't call me back. Where are you? Don't make me have to hunt your ass down Qu!" she demanded.

"Hmm... I don't think that's a good idea..."

"Did I ask you to think? Now where are you?"

"Well, ok I'm at 245 Bay Street. I'm in the 5th row from the back on the left side," he whispered, "but you won't come. I dare you," then... he was gone.

"What... Hello... hello, Qu?" she yelled, staring at the phone, but he had already hung up. "What does he mean, I won't come? What is that man doing?" she picked up the puppy that was now circling her ankles, grabbed her purse off the chair and walked out of the office.

She was ready to hand Terri, Bella, but she was not at her desk. Tierra had no time to do a hunt for her either.

"Make sure Bella here gets to my house, OK Megan, please?" she said to the secretary that had spoken to her earlier. "Just call this service. They will pick her up," she handed the woman the card from the service that Qu had purchased, and shoved Bella into her arms. Before the woman could reply, Tierra quickly made her way towards the elevator.

"Sure thing, Ms. Rodriquez," the woman answered, beaming ear-to-ear at a chance to finally do something for Ms. Rodriquez. "Don't worry about anything. I've got this all under control. I won't let you down!" she promised. She smiled at Bella, who released its bladder on her pink Twill skirt.

"Ewwww," she pouted, as the elevator doors closed.

It was almost fate that a taxi pulled up with its occupants exiting just as Tierra was racing out the Baxwell building. She asked the driver if he was on his way to another call. When he replied no, she asked if he'd take her to her destination. With his approval, she slid in the back seat, gave the driver the address, and tried to figure out what her best friend was up to. She didn't know this address, though it was up town. What was Qu getting her into? It didn't sound like a church. Besides, why would he sign the note ' _Aquarian'_ if he was just going to church? It didn't make any sense, though, not too much of anything, since he had come back in her life made sense.

She thought back to the first and only time he signed his name _Aquarian_ , in a letter to her as they made their way through the busy traffic.

" _I can't believe this!_ " Aquarian yelled.

He was in his attic looking for something for his school project he had coming up and found a pile of papers that forever changed his life.

"Adopted?! Why didn't they tell me?"

His anger increased when he found, and began to read through the letters from his birth grandparents.

"We just want our daughter to be able to move on with her life. We know you will give this baby a good home. We trust you, and know that this must be a blessing sent from God for the two of you. Please never divulge who we are, it would be devastating for her to have to relive this all over again."

He read a letter from his birth mother that was dated when he was about ten. She explained that she was only 14 when she became pregnant with him. She had a secret relationship with a boy from the neighborhood and when she became pregnant, both of their parents insisted that adoption was the best option for the youngsters. Thirty years ago, it wasn't the norm for an unwed girl to have sex at 14, let alone have a baby.

She said she never regretted giving them her baby. She had no idea where the Skeene's lived now, because all correspondences went directly through the adoption agency. She didn't want to one day be walking down some street and bump into her son. So she asked that after this last picture that they not send anymore. She went on to explain the story of how her parents found his parents and how it always touched her.

"One Sunday my parents accompanied a friend to their church. One they had never been to before," she began. "That Sunday there was a guest prophet who spoke at the church and over the two of you. My mother told me she recognized you. She was the secretary at Dr. Mendez's office, and knew you had been a patient of his for several years trying to conceive. So when the two of you stood up, she said she nudged my father so hard in his rib, and he moaned out loud in pain. After everyone turned back around and stopped staring at them, she confessed to him that the both of you were the reason God told her to go to this church. The prophet told the two of you that a blessing had walked right into your midst, and would be made known to you soon enough. He said that a child had been conceived and that it would be a boy. He told you there was more than one way to be a parent and within that year, you would surely be welcoming a baby into your home. I know you know the story, but I wanted you to know that I never forgot it. Every time my mother told me that story I would cry. It's what kept me going when I was pregnant, and all these years. I knew it was meant for the two of you to raise my son."

Through the help of each of their pastor's, and some legal maneuvering it was arranged that Beautiful go and stay with some family, until the baby was born and Mrs. Skeene laid low in the later months came, under the pretense that she was having a hard pregnancy. None of either of their congregations knew what was really going on. It was hard, to keep that kind of a secret. But it was one of the two conditions that the adoptive family had.

"I'm sorry that his father... well his father was the star athlete in Junior High. His parents assumed that I had gotten pregnant on purpose to try and trap their son. They talked him into signing away his parental rights and before he was born they moved away. After I finished high school I moved away as well. It would have been too hard to see you with him. Even if I know it was meant to be."

The news that both his biological mother and fathers family just wanted to rid themselves of him, crushed him.

"FUCK!" he screamed and ripped the letter up, tossing the torn pieces all over the attic.

"Aquarian?" Mrs. Skeene yelled up the attic stairs to her son, breakfast is ready," she didn't know what he found up there, but knew something was wrong when he emerged from the dimly lit stairwell with tears in his eyes.

"Son, what's wrong?"

"Son," he began harshly, "Am I really?" he responded with a look that made the only woman he had ever called mother take a step back.

He ran past her and out the house without so much as a word or explanation. He walked to the bus stop feeling betrayed and alone. When he arrived at school, the first person he saw was Tierra. He didn't know what to say to her. He wondered if she knew that he was an unwanted child, if maybe that was why she was so nice to him all these years. Did she feel pity for him? He ignored her attempts to wave him over to her and instead walked solemnly into the school. He knew there was no way he could avoid her all day, so he decided to write her a letter. After homeroom he gave it to her, along with a kiss on the cheek and walked out the school door.

Tierra watched as the most well behaved, gotta do right guy she ever knew, walk out of school. She was confused and quickly read the note he gave her, looking for answers.

'Tierra, you have been a great friend to me all these years. I could always count on you to be honest with me and be there when I needed you. But right now, I know my life has all been a lie. My whole life Tierra! I hope you didn't know, but I guess I'll never get to know. Just know you were always my angel. I will love you always, and forever.

Aquarian Marques Skeene'

Tierra's face turned white. She wrote a letter similar to Qu, on the day they buried her father. She didn't know what he meant by his life was a lie. But if he was in the same place mentally that she was back then, she knew it was not going to end well.

She excused herself from class, and went to the nurse's office. After explaining her fears to the school nurse, she was allowed to call his mother. Mrs. Skeene made her way up into the attic after Qu left the way he did, and found the evidence of what had her him so distraught. She relayed to Tierra what Qu found out, who was completely surprised by the whole adoption thing.

Mrs. Skeene didn't think there was a cause for alarm though, and was sure he wouldn't try anything life threatening. She told Tierra to go back to class and to come by after school to check up on him. But, when she arrived, her mother and several neighbors were there. Seems Qu hadn't come home after school after all. The Skeene's spent all day and night looking for their son since the police wouldn't get involved until he had been missing for at least 24 hours.

The next day, together with half the neighborhood, and finally the police force, they went looking for him. In the end though, it was Tierra that found him. They had a secret place in the woods of Blunt Park. Though she had looked for him there the night before, and didn't find him, something told her to go back and look again that morning.

When she crawled up the ladder, he was curled up in a ball with his arms wrapped around his legs. His body was freezing, and his lips were purple. He looked near death. When she saw his body shake, she breathed a sigh of relief. She told him she'd be right back, but he lifted his head and violently shook it back and forth, reaching out for her.

She looked around, and saw he had tossed the books and things they had in the shabby tree house, all over the place. She could see in his eyes that he was in physical pain, not just emotional. Again she turned to leave to get his family, but he pulled on her leg, and pleaded with her to stay. She didn't know what to say or do. So she sat down next to him, and held him in her arms, wrapping her jacket around the both of them.

"Don't you ever scare me like this again!" she demanded of him. He nestled himself into her lap and shook his head in agreement.

In a quiet, scratchy voice he replied, "I'm sorry, I won't. I promise," together they laid there until someone finally heard Tierra's yells, alerting them to where they were .

"That was 12 years ago," she remembered. "I am not staying out in the cold with him again. He better at least be some place warm this time."

"Here we are Miss," the taxi driver announced, putting the vehicle in park, "245 Bay Street. That will be $15."

"Shoot, he better be in real trouble, for this," she said sarcastically.

She got out the taxi, only to look up and see where she was. "Damn you Qu... why here?"

##  He's there when you least expect it.

"The Lord speaks to each one of us in different ways. He may use your mother, your sister, your child, or even your boss. He might even use an unbeliever. God never said his messages would come in nicely wrapped packages from your pastor," the pastor could be heard saying from inside the packed church. "God doesn't do things the way WE want them done. He does things the way we NEED them done, so he can get out of us what holds us back, what keeps us from him. He wants to help us reach the next level. He sends us what we need, when we need it, in HIS time. We are on his schedule, not the other way around."

"Would you like to come in?" a woman dressed in all white asked, as Tierra stepped into the corridor of the church.

"Hmm, no thank you, I'm waiting for someone. I'd rather wait right here, if that's OK?!"

"You don't have to be afraid. God will meet you, no matter where you're coming from."

"I'm not here to meet God. I was tricked into coming here. He knew I'd _never_ come if I knew where he was. I'll wait right here, if you don't mid," she insisted.

"Maybe it's no trick you're here today," the woman replied, and retreated back to her post.

Not a trick? What does she know? Doesn't she know we have nothing to say to each other! I mean, really, what would you have to say to me, that I'd want to hear? Tierra thought, looking up.

"I forgive you! That is what God is trying to say to one you. I forgive you for forgetting about me, for turning your back on me, for being angry with me. I am still here for you. I will always be here for you. That's what the Lord is saying to one of you today," The pastor's words made Tierra jump in her skin. She quickly turned around and looked at the preacher as if he was secretly reading her mind. Their eyes met briefly through the window in the closed doors that separated the sanctuary from the hall corridor.

"I know you're hurting. I know you're afraid. I know you're in need of a change. The Lord wants you to know his door is always open. Though you've turned your back on him, he will never turn his back on you. All you have to do is call on him. You don't have to get all religious about it. You don't have to be in your Sunday best, you can be in your Saturday, just hanging out, best. You just have to call him. You just have to say, 'FATHER, I NEED YOU! HELP ME!' He's blessed you, he's protected you, and he's maintained you. Times may have gotten rough. You may have gone though some really rough trials and storms. You may have been beaten up and stomped on by the Devil. But, IF YOU ARE STILL STANDING..." the preacher paused, as the congregation yelled Amen in agreement. "...then the Lord our father has kept you. He didn't let you fall. He didn't turn his hand away from you. It could have been worse. Look at your neighbor, and tell them "THE DEVIL HASN'T WON, I'M STILL STANDING!"

Voices could be heard all over the sanctuary repeating the words of the pastor. Then they erupted in clapping and praise. The lady in white peered around the corner, and said, "You're still standing, can it really be that bad?" and then disappeared back, around the corner.

"Now, let us pray... Father, we thank you for the breath in our lungs today. We thank you for your protection today. Father we thank you for just being you Lord, and we ask for your healing in this place. We ask for you to touch us in the places of our lives that have been broken. Heal those empty places Father, and fill them up, with your love Father. I bind the devil, and his hands from upon this house, and everyone under the sound of my voice. We thank you, Lord, for your grace, for your mercy, and your forgiveness, and the victory that we have in you. We thank you for your gift of love, for your son. I ask you, Lord, to search each and every heart in here tonight, those in the pews, those in the halls, those on the steps, all those that are before you today, dear Father. Those whose hearts cry out, 'Father, help me', even if their lips can't form the words. Father, search and heal them, deliver them from the wrath of the devil. Give them the strength to endure through their trials, Lord. Reveal yourself to them. We thank you Father, and we honor you, and we give you all the praise and the glory. We ask these things, as we thank you for keeping us another day. As we thank you for your blessings. As we thank you for your grace. As we thank you for your son, and for his sacrifice, and it's in his precious name, we come to you in Jesus' name. Let the church say...Amen.

Before Tierra knew it, she replied in agreement with the preacher, a lone tear falling down her face. Feeling it slide down her cheek, she quickly wiped it away. "Don't you even think about it," she said and retreated, out of the church before Qu came out.

## Just Between Us Girls

"Thanks for meeting with me, Shi." Tierra said nervously as Shireece sat down at the table.

"No problem girl. You sounded like you really needed to vent. What's the problem?"

"Good afternoon ladies, my name is Jason, I'll be your server today. Would you like to start with a drink, or do you know what you'd like to order?" the young man interrupted.

"Jason, please bring a bottle of your finest white wine, thank you." Tierra said plainly.

"Ti, you ok? You're starting to scare me now girl."

"You! I mean, this man. Do you know what he did? I mean... first, listen to this," she rambled on in half sentences. "First he calls me out of the blue, which is no problem. Then we go out, no wait; he shows up with lunch, my fault, I forgot about our lunch date, so he brought lunch to me. I'm in the tub when he gets there, right. OK, so I change clothes, no, wait, back up. He's hogging the food and I try to reach for it, and his hand like falls into my robe. HELLO! IM NAKED UNDERNEATH!"

"What? Hold up, Qu tried to cop a feel?"

"No, it was an accident, but still. Anyway, we get to talking and I'm trying to get the 411 about him. Before I know it he tells me all this stuff about this girl, Beautiful."

"Beautiful? Who is that?"

"His fiancée... well not anymore, she died."

"What?!"

"Yeah, that's what I said! OK, so she's dead, and he's here because she told him on her deathbed to come and see me. I mean... WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" she asked, looking up at Jason like he had three heads.

"This is what you ordered."

"Hmm, no I clearly said I wanted a bottle of your _BEST_ wine not this $10 a bottle stuff. Please bring me what I asked for. Tell Jean Marc that Ms. Tierra is here, and he'll give you what I want ok. Thank you."

She unclipped her hair, and tilted her head back to shake her curls loose. As the layers fell down her back, she took a big sip of the glass of water on the table.

"Ti, what's wrong?"

"I don't know what's wrong. Whoa déjà-vu! OK, listen I'll tell you like I told my mother, Qu left me the cutest little Cocker Spaniel in my office, along with some flowers and a damn letter that he knew would get me all riled up. I still don't know how he knew I'd be in the office. I was scheduled to be gone for another week. Anyway, guess where this letter of his led me? Go ahead... just guess where I ended up!"

As Shireece began to respond Tierra jumped in.

"A DAMN CHURCH... IT LED ME TO A DAMN CHURCH!" she yelled again, causing a few patrons to look in her direction. "I can't believe he tricked me. I am so furious with his ass right now, I swear I could... Arrghhhh!" she bellowed, pounding her fists on the table.

"Good afternoon, ladies," Jean Marc said to the ladies in his deep French accent, placing a silver bucket of ice in its stand. He popped the cork on the bottle of _Montrachet La Cabotte 2000_ , and filled their glasses. Before he addressed the duo further, he returned the bottle into the ice bucket.

"I am so very sorry, Ms. Rodriquez for the bit of confusion. Jason is new. Please, your lunch is on me. Order whatever you like, my treat," Jean Marc offered, kissing each lady on the hand.

"Jean Marc," Tierra cooed, taking a sip of the wine. She stood and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "Oh my Goodness, this is the stuff! You have no idea how bad I need this," she was practically trembling in her shoes as she spoke.

"It's ok darling. Drink up and let me know if you need anything else," he said before he retreated to the kitchen, cutting his eyes at Jason as he passed him, who lowered his head.

"Why is it so bad Qu had you meet him at a church? It's Qu, you're talking about right?" Shireece asked, not knowing what Tierra's issue with church could possibly be. But she was obviously physically upset over it to the point of drinking at 2 O'clock in the afternoon.

"Why? Why, you ask? One, he didn't ask me to meet him at the church. Two, he tricked me into going there! He just gave me the address, and then dared me to show up. Made it seem like he was about to like jump off a bridge or something. He knew how I'd react to that damn letter he left me!" she blurted out, gulping down the glass of wine Jean Marc poured. Jason immediately refilled her glass. "He knew exactly what he was doing, had me calling his mother, and everyone. What in the hell was that all about?" she finished the second glass of wine in record time and Jason on cue poured another.

"Take it easy, Ti. It's only two, you know," she said with concern in her voice, taking Tierra's hand into hers. She had never known anyone to be able to get Tierra so riled up, other than Qu that is. It seemed so innocent, yet her friend was clearly agonizing over it.

"I know, I know," she took a deep breath and exhaled. "Aww man, you wanted to tell me something too. I'm so sorry," she said as she swallowed the 3rd glass.

"It's nothing. My issues can wait. You clearly need me more right now."

"No way girly, what's the deal? Spill it."

"Okay well, I wanted you to help me put together a music demo. The only thing is you have to keep it between me and you."

"What, why? You aren't going to tell Sean?"

"I don't think he'll support me doing it. He's so into having me at home, playing Suzy house-maker and all. But it's killing me. I mean, how many times can a girl go shopping before she has everything that she needs and wants?"

Tierra shrugged her shoulders. The glasses of wine she quickly downed were beginning to affect her visibility, and speak.

"A good, supportive husband, children and my career, that's what I have always wanted. Well, to have children Sean has to be home. You said it yourself a few weeks ago. So I don't think a family is in our future anytime soon. The way I see it, I might as well fulfill my other dream. Do you think you can help me?"

"Shi, haf you really thought 'bout dis? I mean, I never know you to lie or any ting back to Sean. This is gon come back in bite chu in ya ass you know dat rit," she said making little to no sense, the wine clearly taking over her speech.

Shireece giggled inside and shook her head.

"Yeah I know. I've thought about it though. I just figure it's only a demo, and if he hears how good I am, then he'll remember the girl he met and her dream to sing. Right now all he can see is his dream. Don't get me wrong, I love that man. He's never done me wrong in no way shape or form. In fact he's given me everything I've ever needed. But it's my desires he doesn't pay attention to."

"Say no mo. I got chu. I'll talk to my people," she waved her empty glass in the air. Jason came over and chased her glass as she continued to wave it around before realizing he was standing next to her.

"Oops, I'm, I'm sorry... Jason... right?" he nodded as he re-filled her glass.

"Lissen don't worry, Jean is a push ova. I'm sorree if I got chu into trouble wit him. I'll talk to him K. Don't worry."

Jason smiled at her tipsy rant, and asked if the ladies were going to order.

"In a minute, but can you please take this glass back," Shireece said removing the newly poured glass of wine from Tierra's hands.

"Whaaaaattttt?"

"Don't even go there girl. Stop it," she looked Tierra square in her eyes daring her to object further.

"What eva!" she sucked her teeth, and rolled her eyes allowing Shireece to hand the glass to the waiter.

"Thanks Jason. Can you bring us a pitcher of ice water with lemon please?"

"Sure thing."

"Thanks Shi," Tierra said in a low voice, lifting the glass of water from earlier and drinking the last warm sip in it. Seconds later, Jason arrived with the fresh pitcher.

"No problem, you know I got your back. Now, are you sure you can find someone to help, willing to keep it under wraps? Or do I need to call you tomorrow and ask you when you're sober?"

"You got jokes right? Ok I got you! I guess I deserve that. But yeah, I'm sure I can help. If I can't find anyone else, there is always Vito. He always asks when you're going to let him produce you. He'll be down. Besides, you know he and Sean aren't as close as they used to be."

"Yeah, and that's sad. Thanks."

"Well, since we have a free lunch, I say we order, what do you think?"

"I think you better eat and soak up those glasses of wine you just sucked down," she laughed.

"Agreed."

## The truth shall set you free

"Abuela, Qu mintió a mí, a hacerme ir a la iglesia!" Tierra whined, in her loudest two year old voice she could muster up, behind the safety of the closed doors of her office. "I got out the cab, and was like; I'm going to kill him! I mean how could he do that to me?"

"So, Aquarian lied to you, to get you to go to church? If you didn't want to go, why did you in?" Nana Rodriquez questioned her granddaughter.

"Well...., I Hmm... I mean... He dared me to, that's why!" she stuttered, realizing how childish she sounded, though her reasons were the truth.

"Peaches," that was the special name she called Tierra ever since she was one years old.

' _That's all you would eat, peaches,' her Abuela told her one day when she asked why she always called her that_

"Besides," she continued, "how do you know God did no tell Qu to dare you? Dios know you child. Maybe he knew that would get you inside."

"Are you saying that God tricked me? It would figure. In fact, that's what the lady at the church said."

"Señora, Que señora, peaches?" Tierra couldn't help but to smile. She knew this was coming. Whenever she talked to her Abuela, she'd start off in English, but end up speaking Spanglish, throwing in a Spanish word in here and there in the middle of a sentence. Before long though, she'd be speaking fluent Spanish.

After Tierra's father passed, she used to feel sorry for her mother. Tierra's father was Cuban and Black, her mother was Black, Puerto Rican and American Indian, Sequoia tribe. Her mother only knew the few words she remembered that her father taught her, and the few words her husband spoke to her. But when Nana Rodriquez would go off on a tangent... she'd lay into her... like Ricky would on _I Luv Lucy_ when Lucy did something crazy. Except Tierra could tell she did it, just because she knew her daughter-in law knew not one word of what she was saying.

"Some lady, she was standing in the hallway at the church. She asked me if I wanted to go in, but I wasn't going all the way in. I waited for Qu in the hall."

"Tierra Rodriquez!" her Abuela snapped, beginning that Spanish rant, "Oh Dios mío Tierra, no en la casa de los dioses! You stood in the hallway of your Father? I know your mother, and I raised you with more respect for God's house than that!"

"Yes you did, and that's exactly why I didn't go in. You don't get it Abuela. I was being way more respectful in the hallway, than if I went inside the sanctuary."

"What happen to you? This isn't the Tierra I know. The little girl that couldn't wait till Youth Sunday so she could sing her heart para tu Dios. The child that would leave su casa before tu madre y Abuela, so she could be first in her Sunday school class. _Tu dado la espalda a Dios, ¿por qué_ ?"

"Abuela, just leave it alone, Ok? I have my reasons for turning away from church and God. It's for me to deal with. I'm a grown woman now. You and mom can't make me go to church anymore," she replied in defense mode. She knew her Abuela meant well, but she was not ready to tell her about why she had an issue with God. Besides trying to keep up with Nana's Spanglish was making her head spin.

"Young Lady, I am not too old to get on a plane. Don't think I won't have you buy me a ticket and come there, and put you over my knee, then turn around and come back home. You answer me now!"

Tierra could see Abuela standing in the kitchen, her small hands on her wide hip, tapping her foot up and down, waving her finger. She smiled. The good ole days she thought, if only it was that easy. She had kept her secrets for years, for a reason. Abuela had to let this go.

"Abuela, por favor deje solo.! Leave this alone," she repeated in English to stress her point, "I don't want to get into it. I'm over it, I don't want to bring it back up," she began, feeling emotions begin to swell up in her.

"Sobre ella? If you are over it, then why you still mad at God for it? God didn't hurt you, maybe someone hurt you, but God protects you, he loves you, he..."

"...Protects me?" she yelled, and laughed, fighting back tears. "Did you just say your God protects me? Really, well if he's so protective, so loving, why did he let them do that to me, huh? Por Que, Abuela? Why didn't he stop them? Why did he allow them to hurt me, and no one said anything, no one helped me? Come on Abuela? Dime, por qué?"

"¿De qué estás hablando Tierra? Who are they? Who hurt you?" she slid her aging body into a chair at the kitchen table and began to run her fingers across her bible.

At that moment Tierra realized she had said too much. There was no way her Abuela was going to let this go without answers. She was already crying, and the words were building up inside. She had to pump the breaks, she had to stop and desist, this was going too far. She couldn't let them out; everyone would be upset with her. She had to find a way to...

"Those drunks in the woods, over by the park, behind my school! I know I wasn't supposed to go home that way, but I was trying to get home early," she cried. "I had a present for Mom. I wanted to get home from school early, so I cut through the park. Abuela, por favor, lo siento! I know it was my fault. I was some place I wasn't supposed to be."

Her speech became incoherent, as her crying increased. Nana Rodriquez could no longer understand what her precious peaches was saying, but she definitely was able to get the jest of what had happened to her so many years ago.

"I cried for Mom, to come and help me. I screamed, I even called out daddy's name, and they didn't stop. No one came. No one helped me. I yelled for God to stop them, and you know what, they laughed. ' _Canto Dios te ayuda ahora!_ ' one of them said, and then he took his turn on me. They said I wanted it. They said I was their gift from God and when they were done, they licked their lips and looked at me. They had the audacity to thank me 'buela. They said when I was ready for some more; I knew where to find them. Then they were gone! I laid there. I couldn't move. It hurt so badly. But I knew I had to get home before you or Momma got there and get cleaned up, so I just... I went home and..."

"Hush Child," Nana Rodriquez began and instantly began to pray out loud.

" _Lord, watch over this child of yours. Lord, heal her from her hurt from her past. Forgive her for her misplaced anger. Reveal yourself to her, Lord. Show yourself to her Father; let her see your power, your love for her. She needs you, Lord. Deep in her soul she knows she needs you. Father, meet her in your house. Wrap your arms around her. Help her to let go of the pain and let you into her inner soul. Amen_ ."

Tierra's chest rose and fell to a steady rapid rhythm. The front of her pink tank top was now stuck to her bra-less chest, drenched in her tears. To say her head hurt was an understatement. She was in no position to argue or object with her Abuela's impromptu prayer.

"Peaches, you get off your butt. Let go of that hurt and anger before it consumes you. Get yourself tu' padre casa! You go back to that place you said Qu tricked you into going. God led you there once he'll meet you there again."

"Abuela?" she began, protesting.

"Tierra, don't you make me repeat myself," she spoke sharply.

"Yes Ma'am."

"Te amo mucho, _peaches_ ," she lowered her tone, wishing she wasn't so afraid of planes. She'd be on the next one to give her granddaughter that big hug she could tell she desperately needed. She could feel the hurt in her voice. Imagining how terrified she must have been and how all these years she carried this secret inside of her, tears began to fall steadily from her eyes.

Things began to make sense, now. Why Tierra's life changed so drastically from one day to the next. Everyone thought it was because of her father's passing. But the light just seemed to go out overnight. She understood why she ran out of town so quickly, after high school.

They talked for about a half an hour before Tierra said she had to go.

"Te amo, Abuela."

"Te amo, mucho Peaches. You mind what your 'Buela told you, me escuchastes?"

"Yes, Ma'am, I hear you. I promise."

Nana Rodriquez hung up and said another quiet prayer for what she was going to have to do next: tell her daughter in-law. As she finished the prayer, there stood Nicole in the kitchen doorway.

"Mom, what's wrong?"

She motioned for her daughter to come and sit next to her.

"Nicole, baby I have something to tell you, and it is going to hurt your heart very much. But I think it will also reveal a lot of things to you as well."

"Mom, you're scaring me, is Tierra Ok?"

"No Nicole, no she's not. She is in a life and death struggle between her past, and her present, and she's losing."

She put her arm around her daughter in-law's shoulder, and told her what she had just found out.

She held her daughter in a loving embrace as they cried, and prayed together for the strength and healing of their little girl.

## What else?

Tierra was awakened by the unmistakable sounds of the rings on her curtains sliding across the metal rod.

"Brandon, I know you've gone and lost your mind!" she scorned, sleepily, yet sternly, thinking he must have gotten his days mixed up. She reached her hand out from under her pillow, searching for the alarm clock on her night stand.

"7:57AM?!" she yelled. "It's Sunday, Brandon. I don't have to go to the office today. What the hell are you doing here, anyway? Close those damn curtains, and go home!" she slid further under the blanket, awaiting the recurrence of darkness that was to follow Brandon immediately following her instructions. Instead, she heard the water running in her bathroom and the Quiet Storm playlist on her IPod playing.

"Brandon?" she stated, baffled that he was so blatantly ignoring her request. Not only that, but he has _never_ entered her bedroom without permission, let alone ran her a bath before. She pulled the pillow off her head, and tossed it across the floor.

"Brandon is that you? What the hell are you doing?" There was no answer. When the alarm clock began to buzz, she jumped, grabbed it, and tossed it across the room. It too was in on the sinister plot to ruin her day off, she thought. A grin came over her face as it broke, smashing against the bottom drawer of her dresser. The once loud buzz now sounded like a wounded animal. Then it was silent.

"That's not very lady like," Nicole Rodriquez, said as she walked out of the bathroom, drying her hands on a hand towel.

Tierra quickly looked at her mother, in disbelief. She rubbed her eyes, taking a second look. Surely she was dreaming, she pinched herself to prove it.

"Ouch."

"Sorry, you're not dreaming. I'm really here Tierra. And, not a moment too soon I see. How long have you been angry with your alarm clock?" she offered a smile, as she walked over to the alarm clock and picked up the shattered pieces. "The poor thing never had a chance" she finished, tossing the pieces into the trash.

"Mama, h... how did you... when did you get here?" Tierra was more than confused. The better question though, was how did her mother get inside her condo?

"Well, Tierra, they are called planes and I ended up having to wake up Shireece and Sean. They kindly informed that very nice young man, Tony I think his name was, your desk clerk, that I was your mother. After he rang you and received no answer, he let me in. I hope you don't mind?

Tierra was speechless. She was stuck, motionless, and emotionless. She figured her Abuela must have told her mother about their conversation last week. More than likely her mother took some time off of work and was here to lecture her about the whole situation. She was ready for it. She had been preparing for this day for eighteen years.

"Mom, before you start yelling at me, can I just say that I'm sorry? I know that I wasn't where I was supposed to be and that everything that happened was all my fault and..." she began. She was sitting up in the center of her bed, with her head lowered into the small pocket her bent knees made in the fury comforter.

"Hush mi amor," Nicole whispered, sitting down next to her daughter on the bed. She cupped Tierra's head with both her hands, and looked lovingly into her eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong. Those men were the ones that were wrong. You were a child, baby. What they did to you was unforgivable, and vile. There is no way it could ever be your fault. Whoever told you it was your fault?" she asked reaching for her daughter's hand.

Tierra wanted to accept the gesture from her mother, but was unable to let go of her knees. She closed her eyes, "No one told me it was my fault. I never told anyone. I just figured that... I mean, they said God sent me to them, they thanked me momma!"

"Shhhh... Tierra I know you were young but, how could you think that I would have been upset with you? Your welfare, your safety, is always going to be my main concern. I would have been angry with those men. I would have done something to make sure they never hurt you or anyone else ever again. I never, not for one second would have said it was your fault," Nicole took a breath before she continued, "Can I ask you a question?"

Tierra nodded her head.

"Do you think I allowed this to happen to you?"

Tierra looked up at her mother with amazement in her eyes. "What?! No Mama, I know you didn't let it happen to me. You can't stop everything from happening..."

"Then why do you hold God responsible for what those men did to you? They were not sent by God, nor were you a present from him to them. You've got to believe me," she wiped the tears that fell from her daughter's eyes and pulled her close to her. "You've been angry all this time, and you've turned away good people in your life, including me and God, because of something that was beyond any of our control. Can't you see that?"

Tierra sat quietly. She didn't know what to say. She spent more than half her life being mad at anyone, and everyone who showed her any kind of love. Anyone who dared to show her any type of affection was deemed the enemy. After all, she needed someone to be mad at. She was mad at her mother, at God, and herself. But in that moment, she realized she never turned her anger towards the men that actually hurt her. She never even considered them. She stupidly believed she was their gift. A child's mistake, had she talked to someone, she would have been informed differently.

Nicole wiped her daughter's face and then cradled her in her arms. Tierra cried harder than she ever had before, as she released herself to her mother's love. She unsteadily accepted the love of her mother for the first time in over ten years.

"Baby, go take a shower and get dressed. I'm going to take you somewhere," her mother smiled, pointing towards the bathroom.

"Where...?" Tierra asked hesitantly, noticing the grin on her mother's face.

"Church..."

" _Church_... ?"

Truth Is

Aquarian was happy that he was able to reconnect with Tierra. He missed the connection that the two of them shared. It was almost like they were two halves of a whole. She was the only person that ever really understood him. While he was in California, he met many a woman who claimed to be Christian women. Only after a few dates, he could tell if he tried, they would not object to sharing his bed. He wanted more than a physical attraction. He yearned for and prayed for a woman that would hold herself sacred, and make him wait. At least more than 4 dates!

Tierra on the other hand wasn't into church. He wasn't sure why. He remembered the days when she's loved church, when she couldn't get enough of church. That was before her father died though. The last time they talked about church, he invited her to come with him on his search for a church home and Tierra nearly bit his head off over the phone. He decided then and there, he'd leave that subject alone, at least for a while.

He sat on the end of his piano stool, in full view of _I-91 North_ , the _Connecticut River_ and the _Basketball Hall of Fame_... Actually, he could see two cities away from his hilltop view. His thoughts remained engulfed in Tierra, as his fingers played over the black and white keys. Thinking about her with Bella made him smile. He made a mental note to call her later, and make sure she was happy with his gift.

In the end it was a call back home he knew he really had to make. That call had him the most anxious. He picked up his cell phone off the piano and dialed his mother's number.

"Ma, hey, hmm... it's me Qu," he sighed relieved he reached the answering machine. "I know you've been trying to reach me for several days, well, over several weeks now. I'm sorry I haven't returned any of your calls. I just needed some time to get my thoughts together. I'm in the city, getting settled into my new place and all. I found Tierra, as I'm sure you've heard by now. I'm glad I listened to Beautiful. I don't think I could be making it through this without her. Don't be mad, but please have Dad call me as soon as you get this. My number here is 909-555-5555. I love you Mom, and yes, I went to church."

He ended the call, returning the phone to its resting place atop the piano. Though a few weeks had passed, it was still hard. He just found her. She just found him. Now, she was gone forever and it wasn't fair.

***

About a year ago, just as he began his job in California, he confessed to his parents that he had begun to look for his birth mother. He was doing online searches for adoptive parents looking for their birth children and vice versa. He went back home to Virginia since that's where it all began to see what he could dig up. He made absolutely no progress with the adoption agency, due to his adoption status being changed to "closed" status when he was ten. The online searches also brought more disappointment than any real leads. He was ready to give up. He decided to pray and fast seeking guidance.

One Sunday before he was due to return to California, there was a guest preacher at Love Faith and Hope Church, his home church. The guest preached on the makeup of a family and how God can use others to guide us when our own parents don't have what we need to get us to where God wants us to be. How God can touch anyone of us, to be a mentor to someone else. He told a story of a woman in his congregation back home in Hartford, Connecticut, and how her heart was broken for many years because she was forced to give up a baby born to her at a very young, some thirty years prior. She remembered the one time she held him, right after he was born, for about five minutes, even though the hospital warned her against it. He talked about her inner struggle with her faith, because she thought that God was ignoring her pleas for forgiveness. But, through prayer, study and a mentor, she learned how to love herself again and to allow God to work on her in his own way. If she never met her son, it was God's plan. ' _We may not always like God's plan_. ', he said, ' _we as humans have our own plan, and we get upset when God's plan is different than ours, but we have to trust God in enough to let his plan be our plan. Not our will, but God's will_ ,. ' he finished softly.

After service, Qu talked to his pastor and told him he thought there was a chance that the woman in the guest speaker's story could be his mother. His pastor arranged a meeting before the guest speaker left town and the three of them sat down and talked. The guest speaker promised to pass the information on to the woman when he returned up north to his congregation. Qu pulled out an old picture of himself as a baby and one when he was ten, remembering that his birth mother hadn't seen him since then. He entrusted them to the guest speaker hoping this woman would recognize them.

Unfortunately, he had no choice but to return to California, his vacation was up and he was only driving his pastor and parents crazy with questions no one could answer about the mystery woman. So, once he returned, he decided to throw himself into deep into work and leave his obsession alone. After not hearing anything for several weeks, he grew impatient and prayed that God heal him from the need to know the woman that birthed him. He asked that God give him the strength to accept that it wasn't in his plan for the two of them to meet. To finalize his prayer he logged onto his computer with the intention of going to the adoption site and deleting his account. Instead, he saw an email, the subject heading read; " _My pastor told me to contact you_."

"What the..." he yelled, sat up straight on his bed and pressed the read button.

" _Hello Aquarian,_

My pastor asked me to contact you regarding your adoption. I'm not sure what to say. This feels very strange, to say the least. But, I have been searching for twelve years, and have written many letters like this too many young men who thought they were my child. I regret asking the adoptive parents to discontinue sending me pictures of him. It's been twenty years since I last seen a picture of my son. In fact, I began to ask God to heal me from this need, and allow his will to be my will. I was on vacation for the past two weeks, and when I arrived at prayer service last night my pastor informed me of his visit to Virginia. It's funny because I thought that for certain the family would have moved away from the area, so I never did any searches in my old hometown. From what my pastor told me, you sound like the closest match to my son that I have ever come across. You're his age, from the same town, same area and have a close story to tell. The picture you gave him closely resembles one that I have from my son's birth and the last one I received of him. So... what do we do now?

Prayerfully hopeful, Beautiful. (That's my name, REALLY)

Qu smiled at the computer screen. He ran down the hall of his condo excited and called home. He was so excited he forgot about the time difference, it was 11pm in Cali but 2am back home.

"What is it, Son?" his father asked, in a sleepy, groggy yet concerned voice.

"Oh dag Dad, I'm sorry, forgot the time change! OK, quick then I'll let you go. What was my birth mothers name?"

"What is it?" his mother whispered.

"Your son is calling us at..." he looked over at the digital clock on his night stand, "2AM! It's 2am, and he wants to know what that girls' name was," he replied to his wife, irritated that Qu was still searching.

"So tell him so we can go back to sleep."

"Beautiful, her name was Beautiful, son, ok. Now goodnight!"

"WAIT DAD! I found her!" Qu screamed, hoping his father hadn't hung up before he could tell him.

Trent Skeene sat up in his bed, "What did you say, son?"

"Yeah Dad, I found her."

Qu explained to his father, how he had given up hope, and then suddenly, there she was.

"Wake up woman!" Trent insisted, nudging his sleeping wife.

"What is it, Trent? Didn't you tell him her name?" she asked, reluctantly sitting up.

"Woman, the boy said he found her!" he reached the phone out for her to take it from him. He rubbed his hand over his head, in disbelief.

"Hey Mama," Qu sang joyfully, "I haven't talked to her yet, so don't ask me any questions. She just sent me an email, but how common could the name Beautiful be right? She said she was from Virginia. Her son was born the same year, month, date, everything as me, it all matches mom. She's been searching for me too!"

Mrs. Skeene remained quiet.

"Ma, don't worry. You and dad... you raised me. You wiped my nose, held me when I was sick, spanked me when I got out of line. You told me God gave me to you. But if he brought us back together, there must be a reason for it," he paused, unsure if he had hurt his parents, by pursuing this search. "Are you ok?"

"Baby," his mother final spoke, "whatever God puts in your path that is between you and God. I know you love us, Aquarian. I am not worried, your father on the other hand..." she smiled, looking over at a still tearful Trent, "but I know God gave you to us. If you need me, I'm here."

"Thanks Mom, I love you. Tell dad I love him too."

After hanging up with his mother, he took a deep breath, went back to the computer and wrote her a reply.

After a few weeks of emails back and forth they agreed to meet face to face with the help of a mediator that deals with this type of thing. They met in a town between where they both now lived. He couldn't believe he was planning to meet the woman who could be the missing link in his life, _his birth mother._ Suddenly he wished he had someone to tell, to share this news with. He instantly thought of one person, Tierra.

When he and Beautiful met, they talked about his family, and all that he knew about his birth mother, and she talked about her family, and all she remembered about the adoptive parents.

"The woman took me to church once before I was showing and before I moved away. She said she wanted her baby to hear the word of God even while in the womb. I had never been to that kind of church. It was definitely different than what I was used to. My parents church was then and is now, way quieter," Beautiful said, fiddling with her fingers. "But I enjoyed myself there. I guess I got my Gospel roots from her," she laughed.

"Qu, do you have anything to ask her?" the mediator asked.

"Honestly Sir, I don't. God has already told me that this woman is my mother, my birth mother," he corrected himself.

"Hold up there Son. There are tests that have to be conducted, and all before anyone can go around claiming they have found someone," the mediator pointed out.

"I don't mean to sound rude or out of order. But my faith is strong, and God has never told me it was blue when it was white. I have been praying that God either lead me to my birth mother or deliver me from wanting to meet her. In fact, the day I heard your pastor's sermon I was going to my pastor to ask for his guidance on getting over the need to find you. Instead, God lead your pastor to our church and that led me to you.

When I read your email, I had just finished praying, that God take this need away from me. So, you can do whatever tests you need to do in order to make your eyes see what God has already told me is so. It's not like there is money or something at stake here. I am very well cared for, and my career has afforded me a very good life," Qu looked at the mediator as he spoke very mater-a-factly.

"The tests are just formality, Qu," Beautiful spoke in a quiet calm tone. "Please don't be upset over them."

"I am not upset. I just don't need a test to tell me what God has already confirmed for me. We all get our messages in different forms. Some may need to SEE, all I need is to hear his word. It is not a big deal," he assured her with a warm smile.

To satisfy everyone though, Qu took the required tests and they had the results sent to each other's homes. Once proven, Qu called his parents and told them, he had in fact found his birth mother, Beautiful, and he had the test results to prove it.

"Father, I know my thoughts are not yours, but I really don't understand why you took her away so soon. Why lead us to each other, why answer my prayers, only to take her away? Please reveal yourself to me," he silently prayed. He straightened himself up at the piano, closed his eyes, and let his fingers express his pain.

It Is, What It Is.

Nicole Rodriquez had been with her daughter for two weeks. She would wake up early and cook breakfast before Tierra left for work, and have dinner ready in the evening, when she returned home. It had been a long time since Tierra had so many hot meals, she welcomed the transition. She realized how much she really missed her mother. It was a good thing though, that she wasn't dating, between the new accounts at work, and attending to her mom, she had no extra time. Besides, her mother convinced her to begin to attending Wednesday night prayer and bible study service at the same church Qu tricked her into showing up at. Surprisingly enough, it was beginning to grow on her.

"Tierra, I've been meaning to ask you," Nicole inquired, standing in the kitchen, glaring over her prescription glasses at her daughter, "I thought you said you had reconnected with Qu? Funny he hasn't called, since I've been here? He's not afraid to call because I'm here, is he?" she joked.

"Why would he be sacred? He loves you. You know you're his second mother," Tierra knew her mother was just prying, and it was hilarious. She hadn't questioned Tierra in such a way, since her teenage years. "He spent just as much time at our house as he did at his own. Heck, strangers thought we were twins, we were together so much," she chuckled.

"So, have you talked to him? Lately, I mean?"

"No, now that you mention it, not for a maybe a few weeks. Not since the day I read the letter he left me, that lead me to that church," she reluctantly admitted. "Well he did call one night, to see if I liked Bella. Other than that, I haven't talked to him," she replied lifting Bella up off the floor nuzzling up to her.

"That was three weeks ago wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess, pretty much so."

"You aren't going to call him?"

"He can call me," she said giving Bella to her mother. She grabbed her briefcase, rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth. She kissed her mom on the cheek, Bella on the head and headed towards the front door. "Oh, don't cook anything for me tonight Mom. I have a business dinner after work. I'll be back, but just long enough to get changed," she paused, realizing her mom would be home alone. "Have you gone to see Shireece lately? You know she spends all day up in that condo alone. And, she's been dying to take you shopping. I'll call her when I get to work, does that sound ok?" she yelled, walking out the door before her mother could answer.

***

"Ms. Rodriquez, your 10 O'clock is here. Would you like me to send in a 360?" Terri announced quietly. A 360 was Terri's way of saying fix your face boss, this one is gorgeous!

"Thank you, a 180 would be better." That meant give me five minutes.

"Ms. Rodriquez will be with you in a few minutes, Mr. Townsin," Terri cooed, slightly blushing. All the other secretaries in the office suddenly needed to use the copy room, which just so happened to be adjacent to Tierra's office. There was a sudden rush of estrogen in the air as they giggly walked by her waiting area.

"OK ladies, this isn't a Chippendale's show," Tierra chastised, standing in her office doorway. She turned towards Mr. Townsin to apologize for the commotion and was taken back. _We need a new level 360 isn't high enough for this man_ She thought to herself.

"I'm sorry for that," she began, and she stuck out her hand to greet Mr. Townsin.

"It's ok, Mrs. Rodriquez. They must like to see you work," he replied, acting as if he didn't know the commotion was in his honor.

Mr. Townsin followed her into the office and she turned motioning for Terri to gather the refreshments. Just before she closed the door to her office, she smiled devilishly at the ladies in the copy room doorway.

Mr. Townsin was about 6'3", maybe a 36"waist, Tierra thought, standing behind him briefly, sizing him up. He had short brown, curly hair, gray eyes and a natural tan complexion. He was a nice looking man she thought, though she couldn't tell what nationality he was. Italian, Hispanic, African-American, he had that kind of complexion that reminded her of Vin Diesel? He wore a blazing Charcoal gray suit with a black, gray and white striped shirt underneath and a pair of black dress shoes. His cuff links were gold with the initials MT on them. He smelled of Burberry cologne, which was his first strike, as it was one of Tierra's least favorite scents on a man.

"So, Mr. Townsin," she finally began, motioning for him to sit in one of the two black Captain chairs that sat in front of her desk. She walked behind her desk and sat down in her own black Italian leather upholstered chair.

"What can I do for you, sir?"

Mr. Townsin unbuttoned his jacket and sat down in the chair. He placed his briefcase on the small round table that was positioned in between the two chairs and pulled out several file folders.

"Mrs. Rodriquez, we have been clients of Baxwell industries for many years now. It is with great regrets that I have to admit that the economy has hit even our bottom line. In the past year our market earnings reports have shown drastic drops. Unless we figure out a way to pull ourselves out of the red, we won't have to worry about Mr. Baxwell pulling our account; we will be out of business. Mr. Baxwell, being the businessman that he is, has agreed to try to help us out. That is where you come in, I suppose," he shrugged his shoulders, rolling his eyes. He stood up and dropped the large pile of files on Tierra's desk. The pile of about ten to fifteen manila folders blew a breeze back at Tierra, as they landed on her desk and fell all over.

"This is the paperwork from our last six quarterly reports covering the last two years. I don't know what your boss can do, but if you just have him get in touch with me if he needs anything else I will be glad to provide whatever he needs," he reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a business card and reached to give it to Tierra.

She sat back in her chair behind her desk, staring at the pile of fallen folders, in disbelief. ' _Not again_. ', she thought to herself.

Soon thereafter, Terri knocked on the door and walked in with some coffee and mini treats. Tierra looked at the pile of folders on her on her desk, then at Mr. Townsin, who had lost the advantage of being handsome, and now was just a red fiery blur in Tierra's path. He smiled at Terri as she walked over towards him. He reached out and picked up a mini muffin off the tray.

"I'm sorry Terri, you must have miss understood me. _These_ are for Mr. Baxwell," Tierra interjected, quickly making her way over to Terri and Mr. Townsin. She removed the muffin from his hand before he could breathe on it and replaced it on the tray. "Terri, please bring Mr. Townsin the _other_ refreshments and take _these_ to Mr. Baxwell."

Terri walked confusingly out of the office. She felt the breeze of the door as it slammed behind her quickly and knew at once, Mr. Townsin must have played the, _I thought you were the secretary or assistant to the MAN in charge ,_ game. They hadn't had to deal with that since Tierra became head of the M.M. & E. Department. But Terri also knew she better retrieve Mr. Baxwell, immediately, to save poor misguided Mr. Townsin from Tierra's wrath.

With Terri gone Tierra motioned for Mr. Townsin to sit back down. She followed him over to her desk and leaned against the front of it, so that she was standing in front of Mr. Townsin. She lifted her left black pump and shoved it in the chair where Mr. Townsin was sitting, without warning and with so much force she nearly crushed his chance at fatherhood. She leaned over, peering at him through an icy gaze and folded her hands on her knee.

"Mr. Townsin, I'm not sure who you _thought_ you were coming in here to meet and talk with today," she said, leaning back and lifting the pile of folders off her desk. "But I know for a fact that you called _my_ secretary to make an appointment with me. Ms. Rodriquez," she dropped the folders onto his lap, smiling as they fell off his lap onto the floor. "Maybe, what you should do is, go back to whoever sent you here, and ask again who you were supposed to be meeting with. And don't return until you are certain!" she stood erect, and motioned for Mr. Townsin to leave her office. He slid out of the chair, kneeled on the floor and began to pick up the folders that were scattered around his feet.

"I'll have those messengered to you. Now, you have yourself a great day."

Confused and dazed by Tierra's words, Mr. Townsin gathered himself and walked out of the office. As he walked out, Mr. Baxwell was coming down the hall with Terri.

"Hello, Mr. Townsin, I hope our Ms. Rodriquez here was able to give you some helpful guidelines. She's the best we have," he said, smiling and wrapping his arm around her tightly.

"I... um... It seems I didn't have all the information I needed. I'll have to set up another appointment, once I have all the correct information. Who, where can I do that?" he asked, stuttering, avoiding eye contact with Mr. Baxwell.

"Well sure Mr. Townsin. Right this way sweet heart, I can help you out with that," Terri squealed, from behind the trio. She made her way over to her desk and flipped through the 8x11 sized appointment calendar. Once they agreed on a date, she handed him a business card with the date on it. "Now, if anything comes up you remember to give me a call 24hours ahead of time to cancel ok?"

Mr. Townsin barely nodded, taking the card from Terri's hand. As he walked off, his head still low. Mr. Baxwell, Terri, and Tierra, laughed softly.

"I don't believe him," Tierra finally blurted out.

"I'll call Thomas tomorrow and tell him about it."

"Don't worry; let the poor man keep his job. You know me sir, I can handle his type." In her three years at Baxwell Enterprisez Tierra had encountered all types of sexist and biased men who didn't like having to answer to a woman. She had a way to deal with them, a way that left them with their some of their pride, but also showed them her strength.

"By the way Tierra, you've been back a couple of weeks and I haven't heard anything from you about the contents of the envelope. Did you not like it?"

"Oh no sir, it's not that. Actually, with all that went on when I was on vacation, I came back to work and just jumped right in. The envelope is in my drawer, I haven't even opened it. Is it time sensitive, sir?" she asked, becoming curious as to what she may have missed out on.

"Hmm, well yes, and no. Don't worry about it tonight. But by the end of the next week, I need to talk to you about it. You should take a quiet moment, and look at it... closely."

Tierra tilted her head, her curiosity was now peeked. What was Mr. Baxwell up to this time?

"Yes sir, will do."

Mr. Baxwell headed off to his office while Tierra walked to enter hers.

"Terri, you can go early if you like. I have that meeting with Mr. Turner tonight at JC's, so I'm leaving early to get ready. Have you called to verify the car for tonight and the reservations?"

"Yes, everything is all set. Good night, Ms. Rodriquez. Have a nice evening night," Terri said.

' _A nice evening? It's business, not a date. It's never a date, not for me_.'

## If You'd Just Give Me a Moment

"Mom, are you here?" Tierra yelled, as she walked through her condo door.

"I'm in the kitchen, Tierra."

As she walked closer towards the kitchen she could hear several voices along with her mothers. She turned the corner and saw Shireece, Sean, her mom, _and_ Qu sitting at the kitchen island.

"Hey!" they all sang, simultaneously looking up and waving.

"Hey ya'll, what's up? Mom, did you forget I told you I have that dinner thing tonight?" she asked making her rounds kissing everyone on the cheek.

"No, I didn't forget. Shireece called me, and we went out to lunch. I didn't really want to go out this evening, so she and Sean came up to keep me company. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, I don't mind mom. Why would I? I'm the one that called Shireece, for you earlier remember? Thanks you two," she spoke towards the duo.

"Not a prob," they chimed in unison.

"What's your excuse?" she asked, finally reaching Qu, giving him a hug.

"I called to talk to you actually, and Mom told me that you were still at work. She said you'd be home briefly, so I figured I'd stop by. I was hoping to grab a minute or two of your limited time," he pleaded.

"Qu, I really don't have a lot of time. I have, like an hour before I have to be at JC's," she looked at her watch. "I'm meeting with my biggest client tonight. He has some kind of business proposal to talk to me about."

"Only an hour, however, will you make it?" he laughed. "Well, maybe some other time."

Mrs. Rodriquez, hearing the disappointment in Aquarian's voice, looked at her daughter with harsh eyes. You know the ones that make you pay attention to what momma is saying. It made Tierra immediately readjust her tone with Aquarian.

She smiled and nudged him with her side. "Come on, Butter Ball," she conceded, "You can help me pick out my outfit."

He followed her to her bedroom and looked around the massive room as they entered. Tierra left him standing in the middle of it, while she made a B-Line for her closet.

"Great view," he said, pulling back the burnt orange colored sheer curtains. "It's really close to the view I have when I look out my window."

"Sure it's ok, but I never really have time to enjoy it, you know... I'm barley here. What do you think?" she asked, holding up a leopard print, spaghetti strap dress, with a scoop neck line. "Or this one?" she asked tossing the leopard print dress on her bed, and held up a red multi-layered skirt with a matching red top.

"I thought you said this was a _business_ meeting?" he asked as he looked at the clothes she was pulling out her closet. He was surprised at how each one appeared to be more seductive than the one before, at least to him.

She squeezed his cheeks lightly between her fingers, and grinned, before responding, but in a serious tone, "It is a business meeting, but it's a business meeting at JC's. You don't wear a suit to JC's Qu. You know that."

She piled about 20 outfits on her bed. Qu was shocked any one person could really have that many outfits and not be able to pick out one to wear. Some of the things she pulled out still on had price tags on them.

"What's wrong with this one?" Qu asked, holding up what he thought, was a plain little black dress.

"Great idea! I told you, you have great taste," she removed the hanger from his hands and carried it into the bathroom, hung it up on a hook on the wall, and turned on the shower. She stood at the doorway to the bathroom and looked at Qu.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" she questioned him and began hustling around the room, grabbing her makeup case, before retreating back into the bathroom, leaving the door open so she that could hear him talk.

Tierra quickly undressed and stepped in the shower. She figured with the door open she'd be able to hear what Qu was saying. But that wasn't the case, and neither of them new it.

Qu took a deep breath in, before he began. Unsure of how to say what was on his heart, so he opened his mouth and allowed the words to pour out.

"Ti, when I lost Beautiful, I began to lose my faith. I couldn't understand why God would bring her into my life only to take her out of it. When I first found out about her, I was so ecstatic. I wished I had someone to tell and I thought of you. When I came here to see you, and we talked, I remembered what being with you felt like. You have always been my other half..." he began to get nervous at the thought of fully revealing what was in his heart.

The shower stopped and Qu could hear Tierra walking around in the bathroom. He walked over to the doorway and leaned up against it, "I don't know what's happened to you over the past year. Why you have not found love. But I've have another chance to have you back in my life, and I'm not letting you go this time. I needed to let you know that you are an important part of my life," he wiped his brow satisfied that he finally got out at least part of, what he came to say. There was a long silence and Qu again retreated to the safety of Tierra's bed, sitting on the edge of it.

"Qu, did I hear you right? You're not letting me go? What do you mean by that?" Tierra inquired stepping to the bathroom doorway.

When looked up at her, she was standing in the doorway leaned over, one hand on the door frame the other, attempting to fix the straps on one of her shoes. The seemingly, simple black dress was nothing more than several pieces of sheer material drawn to one shoulder and held with a turquoise butterfly. The way it wrapped around her body fit her perfectly. The steam escaped from the bathroom and engulfed her around her feet. Qu was mesmerized. He walked over to her, bent down, and gently took her foot in his hands and laced the straps on her shoes.

When he finished, he paused, and took in the full view of her, and was in awe. Tierra reached down her hand to help him up, and they gazed into each other's eyes for what seemed like forever. Qu wondered how he could have missed her. When did his the tomboy, next door, become this beautiful woman?

Tierra's Blackberry beeped, interrupting their trance. "Damn! I'm going to be late. Qu, can I call you tomorrow? I promise we will finish this conversation!" She kissed him on the cheek, grabbed her black clutch, Chenille waist length jacket, and rushed down the hall.

Her mom stopped her in her tracks. "What's this?" she asked, lifting her hand up and down, referring to the little black nothingness her daughter was wearing.

"Blame Qu mom, he picked it out," she ratted on him, "Bye, goodnight everyone," and then she was gone.

Qu remained in her room for a several more minutes. He was stunned by what he just witnessed. When did his best friend grow up? He never really looked at her before as more than the girl next door. One of the guys, and now, all he felt inside suddenly made sense.

Mrs. Rodriquez sent Sean to gather Qu. When Sean walked into Tierra's room he shook Qu on the shoulder. "Hey man, you alright?"

"She's, beautiful Sean. I mean how could I have missed that, huh?"

"Man, I don't know? She was drop dead gorgeous back in High School. But she's always been one of the guys to us, man. Ya'll was like brother and sister for the majority of your life. What do you expect? Just be careful, you've missed a lot the year you were away," Sean warned. "Ya'll are both my peoples, I hate to see either of you get hurt. So, I'm saying if you're saying you love her, go for it. If you're not sure you're willing to risk your friendship, leave it alone."

Qu concurred, looking up at Sean.

"Come on man, Momma Rodriquez done did her thing in the kitchen!"

Mrs. Rodriquez made dinner for them. It smelled like heaven to the trio who were no longer used to a real home cooked meal. Shireece wasn't the best cook in the world, though Sean would have to admit, over the past several years she had gotten much better. Still knowing he was about to throw down on some Tierra momma cooking was heaven to Sean's ears. Shireece and Mrs. Rodriquez were in the kitchen laughing when the guys walked in.

"See. You wait till we leave to talk about us, huh?" Qu said playfully.

"No, we were talking about those times I stayed over Ti's house and we'd have breakfast for dinner,"

"Shoot, in college your daughter was good for cooking pancakes, eggs, cheese grits and bacon at 2am for our study group," Qu said, laughing in agreement with Shireece.

"I remember those nights!" Sean chimed in.

"Well then, I guess you guys will enjoy what I made. Tierra didn't actually have overstocked shelves when I arrived. I've gone through just about all she had here. Does that girl cook at all?" Mrs. Rodriquez asked.

"Don't ask me. I just got here too," Qu threw his hands up in his defense.

"Honestly, Mrs. Rodriquez, she works about 60-70 hours a week. She does cook, just once or twice a week maybe. She eats all those yogurt things that are in the refrigerator and lots of salads. She doesn't eat like we did back home. I think it's her job, really. When she first went to work there she had that ya know, that _J-Lo_ booty when _J-Lo_ first came on the scene. She was thick. Then maybe two years or so ago, she hired a personal trainer, and changed everything about how she ate, and lost maybe 30 pounds. That's when she started getting way more clients, and that promotion. Since then she's been burying herself in work. Truth be told I'm worried about her," Shireece admitted.

"It's not that bad, Mrs. Rodriquez," Sean disagreed, throwing a look at his wife a look that expressed his disapproval of her statement.

"What Sean? This is her mother. Hell, this is Momma Rodriquez. She was all of our second mothers. I'm not going to lie to her. You know I've been worried about her. Shoot, Mr. Baxwell had to make her take a vacation. Now you know it's bad when the head of the company makes you take a vacation."

"Thanks Shireece, for your honesty. It's ok Sean, don't worry," she placed her hand on his shoulder, "I know what's going on, and I'm here now. With God's help, she will get through this. Now dig in, you three. Food's getting cold."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Sean jumped up off the stool, grabbed a plate, and began helping himself to the bounty before him.

"Ghetto, just ghetto," Shireece remarked and shook her head.

"Leave that man alone," Mrs. Rodriquez teased, slapping Shireece's hand playfully. "Shoot. We all know Sean doesn't know when he's going to eat like this again. You know how you cook."

"Hmm... hmm," Sean moaned, as he stuffed his face.

## You Want To WHAT?

Malcolm Turner was the first and most influential clients Tierra had. He'd been with her for three years now. He was the first athlete she interviewed when she worked at _Inda Streetz Magazine_ , before she started to work behind the scenes. He was a Basketball Player turned executive, when a knee injury took him out of the game permanently. He was convinced he saw something in her, and hired her to take care of some of his financial contracts and interests overseas. It was partly because of the job she did for him that she eventually landed the position at Baxwell Enterprisez. As her teacher in school used to tell the class, ' _as big as this business is_ ', and he'd spread his arms wide, ' _it's really only this big_ ' , and make an inch mark with his two fingers. ' _You never know who someone you are talking to today, knows across town where you are going for your next interview, or your next assignment, so be careful, and always represent yourself correctly_...' That was what Mr. Martinez always said.

Malcolm said he had a big proposition for her, and requested that she join him for dinner to go over the details. After her speech about how she doesn't date clients, so if it was going to be about him wanting to date her, he could save himself the cost of dinner, she agreed.

JC's was the hottest spot, on this east side of the Connecticut River. A single mother of four started the restaurant after years of struggling to bring her dreams to life. Jade Richardson, started off making dinners one Saturday a month, then she became the main cook for her church's weekend dinner sales. Occasionally, someone would ask her to cater a small event for them, usually only people she knew personally. Those occasional events turned into regular larger catered events. One was for a monthly entertainment venue _Gumbo Live,_ where artist and poets from all over the country came to perform. Soon thereafter she received a call from the Mayor of the city. He said she was referred to him by a poet who worked for him, and who regularly attended that _Gumbo Live._ He asked if she would cater his daughter's Quinceanera.

She hired the best staff and crew and put her all into that event, doing her best to impress. Things went off without a hitch. After that, the calls began to pour in. In a matter of one years' time of that Quinceanera, she was able to get her credit together, and save major money. With the connections she made over that year, she was obtained property, zoning, a liquor license, and JC's Jazz Lounge was born. She named it JC's after her children whose names all contained the letters J and C, in one way or another. Suddenly her dreams were reality.

The first time Tierra walked into JC's, she was instantly hooked. The atmosphere was elegant and upscale yet, relaxed and laid back. She's been spreading the word ever since. She's kind of like royalty at JC's, because she's sent so much business there. Plus she makes sure that the people she sends, mentions that she was the one that referred them. Momma ain't raise no fool! Although lately, she hadn't been as regular as she used to be.

Friday nights were Open Mic Night at JC's. This was the one night where everyone came out in their best gear. The atmosphere was Grown and Sexy, Dress to Impress, and people knew what that meant to Jade. There was no way you were getting in JC's on a Friday night in jeans, sneakers, hoodies, T-shirt, baseball cap, or even Tim's. She demanded dress pants, button up shirts, and shoes for the fellas. It took some doing, but after a while the thuggish type realized they couldn't pay their way in. If they wanted in, they had to go and get geared up, believe it or not they did. The women, well you know ladies, any excuse to get all dressed up, they were all for that. Jade did though have to school some on the subtle differences between, Sexy & Classy and Slutty & Trashy.

Artist from everywhere, not just local artist wanted to come to and perform. Jade eventually hired her own internal A&R team that actively searched for artist looking for real good exposure in an untapped market, and invited them up. The intimate atmosphere, with candle lit tables, cream colored table linen, real glasses to drink from, none of those plastic cups you get at the normal clubs, a super courteous staff, easy mellow music and a menu that was top notch, kept JC's packed.

It was 7:55pm when Tierra arrived at JC's. The valet opened her door and helped her out, as the doorman waved her in past the line of people hoping for a chance to get in. If you didn't make you reservation well in advance, you were plum out of luck, especially on Open Mic Night, let alone a regular night. When Tierra walked in, she headed towards the Hostess booth. The band was already playing. Roe the leader of the band, and keyboard player noticed her as she was escorted to her usual table, and gave her the universal head nod, for hello. The band was hot, and consisted of Roe on the keys, his brother Travis, on the drums, Taurus the bass player, and Brownstone their sultry poet/vocalist. They were a sensational combination.

When Jade heard Tierra had in fact showed up for her reservation she made a point to stop by and say hello.

"¿Oye muchacha, cómo estas? Donde has estado desconocido?" Jade asked showing off her new Spanish speaking skills. "You look gorgeous tonight. Is there some gorgeous hunk coming to meeting you?" she looked around while asking.

"I see your Spanish is getting better missy," Tierra laughed. "I'm good thanks for asking. As for being a stranger, hmm yeah, I have been. I've just been working like crazy. You know, being the only woman over there, I feel like I have to think of things before Mr. Baxwell even asks for it."

"Girl, that's crazy!"

"Yeah, tell me about it. As far as some gorgeous hunk meeting me, he is a fine man, but he is a client. It's just business for me, Jade. Come on now, you know me better than that!"

"Girl, one day you're going to come in here with a man on your arm, and it won't be for a business meeting. I have faith. Tierra, you need to as well," Jade snapped at a waitress to come over to her. "Please bring Ms. Rodriquez her usual bottle of Mascato, on the house. Enjoy the night, Girl."

Brownstone was getting the show going by greeting the guests in the club. She said hello to _C*S*B_ , a spoken word artist and regular; _Spirit_ , who was a new female Gospel trio; and _Fire and Ice_ , a Hip Hop duo, that had just been signed to ViFlaa entertainment, courtesy of Tierra's introduction.

",...and we welcome back our favorite in house celebrity, Ms. Tierra Rodriquez," Brownstone said, blowing her a kiss from the stage. The band began to play a slow melody, as the lights blazed on her.

She was caught off guard by the attention, and waved her hand, with confidence returning the air kiss. The band began to play some smooth familiar tunes from the 90's, as guests sipped their drinks, ate their food, or danced.

"Is this seat taken?" a voice asked.

Tierra looked up, and saw that Malcolm Turner was standing across from her, on the other side of the table. He was pointing down at the empty spot in her white _Suede Leathe_ r booth. She looked him up and down for a minute, smiling inside. As brothers go, this one was a tall glass of sweet lemonade on a superhot day, refreshingly _fine_ : tall, about 6'4", extremely well-built; you could tell he kept up on his training even after leaving the basketball court. His six pack, had six packs, if that was even remotely possible. On his head, were many, small, brown, well-kept locs that rested on his shoulders. He was wearing _Kenneth Cole_ from head to toe. A pair of Slat colored chino pants, a multi-colored collared shirt, and a burgundy zip front cotton sweater. A pair of _Kenneth Cole_ Bottle Nose shoes and a burgundy Y Cable _Kangol_ hat, which was the only item he wore that wasn't made by Mr. Cole, but as fine as Malcolm was, she let it slide. His ensemble complemented his smooth, ebony toned skin tone nicely. His nails were manicured. His face was clean-shaven and the aroma that spilled from him smelled as expensive as his million dollar bank account.

"Sit down please," she finally offered, looking up at him.

"Sorry I'm late, Ti... I'm sorry, Ms. Rodriquez. Forgive me?"

"Sure. It's no problem, Mr. Turner. So would you like to eat first or get right down to business?"

"Well, actually, I'd like to talk business first."

"Great!"

Malcolm slid closer to her. "Ti... Ms. Rodriquez, I think we are past the Mr. and Ms. thing don't you?" he began, and before Tierra could object he continued, "Listen, you've been working with me for a very long time. I have watched you grow, and become a very strong businesswoman over at B.E. I couldn't have been happier that you were assigned as head of the MM&E Department. I must admit, though, secretly I've watched you also evolve into a very strikingly beautiful, elegant, classy lady. I have prayed my whole life for a woman like you. All the while you were right in front of my face."

Tierra almost spit out her glass of Mascato at his words. She opted to gulp it down instead. The large amount of wine traveling down system made her head spin for several seconds. She was just a light weight. She looked at Malcolm, like he must have had three heads.

"Hold on a second. What are you saying? I thought you had a business proposal..."

Malcolm cut her off, taking her hand into his. "Tierra, my proposition is this; I would like you to give me an opportunity to get to know you better. I would like to get to know the other side of you. I want to know the Tierra beyond the business deals. I think that we have what it takes to be the making of a great team not just in the office, but outside of it," Malcolm winked, cheesing hard.

She looked at him perplexed. Did he not hear her speech about not dating clients? This was supposed to be a business meeting. She was now confident that her skepticism to attend this so-called business meeting was dead on. She was highly pissed. She needed a minute to calm down before she blew not only her business relationship, but her cool in a very public place. She turned her attention towards the stage and listened as Brownstone introduced the next artist.

"Let's hear it for Spirit! Aren't they great! OK, we have a treat for you now. Coming to the stage next, is some good ole' home town talent. We have a young lady who's been in our audience before but tonight she will grace our stage with her presence. Put your hands together for Mrs. Shireece 'Reece' Willis."

As the audience clapped, Tierra looked around, her face blank. There must have been a mistake. Then she saw her: Shireece, her best friend, shockingly taking her place on stage. She knew Shireece missed singing, but she never thought she'd get Sean to agree to allow her to sing. Not after their last conversation. She wished she was with her friends where ever they were, to give Shireece comfort instead of here with Malcolm and his supposed proposition.

"She doesn't look so good. I think she might blow," Malcolm callously sneered, not realizing he was poking fun at Tierra's friend.

Tierra fumed inside at his comment. She rolled her eyes, crossed her arms and focused on Shireece.

The lights in the club dimmed. The spotlight rose on the tall, slender woman in the middle of the stage. Roe began to play and the rest of the band followed his lead. Tierra immediately recognized the melody. It was Shireece's favorite song; This is Love , by Regina Bell.

Shireece wrapped her manicured fingers tips around the Mic and opened her mouth to sing. Her voice was trembling so much she sounded like she was standing on a huge vibrating stage.

Tierra stood up and yelled, "Take your time, girl! Show these people what you can do."

Shireece kept singing, looking out towards the voice in the dark. Not realizing it was Tierra, she simply smiled, grateful at the kind words. Soon several others in the crowd were also shouting confidence boosters. JC's crowd was good that way!

The more Shireece sang, the more her voice steadied. She thought back to the days she and Tierra used to sing in high school and at church. They sang in every talent show, every event they could, from middle school until college. Shireece wanted to make a career of it. Tierra just loved to sing. When Sean's career took off, Shireece put her singing on the backburner for her husband. So, singing in front of a crowd wasn't new to her, but it had been a long time since she'd done so. When she felt nervous in the past, she'd find Sean's face for that loving reassurance. Tonight with the light so dim, that was not an option. She was on her own. By the time she reached the end of the first verse her pitch was perfect. The house was rocking, and Shireece was a hit.

"Malcolm," Tierra said midway thru Shireece's song, "I don't date clients, I'm sorry. It's just bad for business. If things don't work out it creates entirely too much drama."

Malcolm paused. He was used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted it. And he had his mind set on Tierra. He knew though, that getting Tierra was going to be a challenge. A challenge he was looking forward to conquering.

"Then I'm afraid I'll have to let you go as my Account representative," he announced. "I will give you as I would anyone else two month's severance commission on the average you normally earn. Just don't blow me off, Tierra. I am serious about you and me."

Tierra remained silent, though inside she was screaming.

After Shireece's set, she wandered over to where she heard the first positive words of encouragement come from. She wanted to thank the person responsible for sparking the first light.

"Ti... what are you doing...? Oh wait, that's right, your mom said you had a meeting here."

"It's all good. So, where did that performance come from?"

"Sorry I didn't tell you. Your mom didn't want you to get all upset, or have to change your plans because we decided to come here," Shireece said, wiping the sweat from her face.

"Girl, please. You were great. It was a nice surprise," Tierra said standing up giving her friend a huge hug. She shot Malcolm a super evil look as she embraced Shireece, remembering his comment earlier. "How long has this been going on?"

"What Open Mic Night? No, this was the first time for me. Thank God your mom was there tonight. Qu mentioned the Open Mic thing and your mom said let's go. A quick call to Jade and our seats were reserved as well as a spot on the list for me. I could tell Sean wasn't pleased at the idea, but you know he is not crazy enough to question Momma Rodriquez. So here we are," then she noticed Malcolm. "But I'm sorry. You're in the middle of a meeting. I'll let you get back to it."

"I'm so sorry. Malcolm Turner, this is one of my _best_ friends in the world, Shireece Willis," she stressed her words to make sure he knew he had screwed up earlier with his remarks.

Malcolm stood up and shook Shireece's hand. "It's very nice to meet you, Ms. Shireece," he said pretending to be excited.

"I'll, hmmm, let you two get back to business."

Just then Sean wrapped his arms around Shireece's waist. "Wasn't my girl great?" he said, kissing Shireece on the cheek. "Dang, I'd forgotten what an amazing a voice she has."

"Yes, so it seems you have, so when are you going to let me get this woman a record deal?"

"Damn, my bad. Where are my manners?" Sean said sticking his hand out towards Malcolm, totally ignoring Tierra's question. Shireece in a studio would happen only over his dead body or a divorce decree. "Sean Willis. And you are?"

"Malcolm, Malcolm Turner."

"Well, we'll let you two get back to your _meeting_ ," Sean said winking at Tierra, who cut her eyes back in return. "Looking good there, Ti," he said as he and Shireece walked off to rejoin Tierra's mother and Qu. Everyone waved at Tierra, as Shireece and Sean pointed to where she was when they arrived.

"Now, where were we?" Malcolm started again, not allowing Tierra forget his proposition.

"Malcolm, I don't think this is a good idea. If you still want to let me go as your rep, that is fine as well, but I'm not looking to date anyone right now, especially not a client"

"Tierra, what's wrong with a man, telling a woman that she is fine, that he wants to get to know her better?" Malcolm insisted, beyond irritated she hadn't taken to him yet.

"Malcolm there is nothing wrong with that. But tell me, what's wrong with a woman not being interested? It's not you it's just that..."

"Not interested?" he laughed at her comment and adjusted his hat. "Please Tierra, come on, really. Not interested? You'll have to come better than that. Seriously, what are you afraid of?"

'Afraid of... Did he just accuse me of being afraid of dating? Well maybe I am, but it definitely is not his place to point that out. He don't know me like that!' She thought disgusted at his comment. Tierra stood up and took her clutch in her hand. She looked around the club and noticed Qu staring in her direction. She wished she had listened to her inner voice. She would be sitting with her family and friends right now, instead of... Malcolm reached out and motioned for her to sit back down.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked again in a more eased tone. He hoped she sit back down and would not walk out on him. That would surely be a first for him.

"More than you could possibly understand," she replied and walked away quickly.

Aquarian watched Tierra walk out the club. He could tell by her quick step that she was upset. He looked back towards Malcolm and gritted his teeth, his breathing increased. He wondered what he had done or said to upset his 'little sis'. No matter who this Malcolm guy used to be, or how much money he had, right now... Malcolm had now become an enemy.

"She's going to be my wife someday," Malcolm said to Jade, who stopped at the table to drop off the check.

"Brother, there's a 50 foot high, 200 foot deep brick wall around that heart. You aren't the first to try to knock it down."

"But I will be the last," he prophesized as a swarm of giggling women ran up asking for his autograph.

## Desperate for Him

Tierra walked into the church and hung her jacket in the hallway coatroom before pushing open the white double doors that led to the sanctuary. As she made her way down the center aisle she noticed there were a few people already kneeling in prayer in front of their pews. She slid into a row about mid-way down, and quietly knelt down and spoke to God.

" _LORD, I thank you for your grace, mercy and for allowing me to see another day. Ok. I know it's been a long time since I've come to you in any other way other than rage. I know I've said some real bad things about you. I know I blamed you for what happened to me. I said you didn't care for me, but Lord, I've come to see I was wrong. I understand now, that sometimes-bad things do happen to good people. It's life. It's cruel, it hurts, and yes it's unfair. But as bad as it is, there is plenty of good. Father, you've met me on so many occasions, when I didn't even know you were there. You've been leading me back to you, calling me ever so quietly, just a mere whisper. I finally heard you the day when Qu tricked me to coming in here. I guess that was you, and then you sent my mother to bring me back. Now I come on my own, at least to pray. I don't know if I'm on the road you want for me, Lord. My career is a success, but that's all I have. I have nothing else, no one to even share my success with. I know I've turned away plenty of men out of my anger and fear of getting hurt, after what happened to me. I was never promiscuous as some women have been after dealing with my same pain. LORD, I need you to help heal my heart, heal my wounds my fears. Please heal the parts of me that those men damaged, and tried to destroy. Help me to see that all men are not here to cause hurt. Some are kind and gentle. Oh, and since I've never really dated before can you help me to see the true nature of a man, at least his heart, his intentions? Can you help guide me to the man you have for me? I need to learn to trust, to forgive myself, to trust myself, to trust you, and rely on you. Can you help me to trust you... to hear you? I thank you for never giving up on me. I thank you for a second chance. I thank you for your son and through him I ask these things of you. Amen_

She stayed knelt down for a while and just meditated before she stood up. She turned her attention towards the pulpit for a moment before walking to the back of the sanctuary.

"It's nice you see you came back, and inside this time," a female voice said.

Tierra recognized her from the first time she came to the church.

"Yes, I guess you were right. He did," she pointed to the sky. "Trick me, that is... and I'm so glad he did," she smiled, grabbed her jacket out of the coatroom and headed out the door.

The sun was going down over the tops of the buildings and the sky was a bright orangish red color. It was a beautiful sight, even though it was beginning to rain. ' _You can't rain on my parade_ ,' she thought, and she walked down the church steps with a new outlook on her life. For the first time it was a positive one.

## A change is coming

"Well, Mr. Baxwell has a meeting scheduled with me this afternoon. I finally got around to opening the envelope he gave me a while ago." Tierra paused, reflecting on the contents of the mystery envelope she received almost two months ago. "Every time I was about to open it, I'd get a phone call or an emergency would come up and back in the drawer it would go. Then Mr. Baxwell told me to hold off on opening it. Talk about confusing."

"Why were you confused?"

"I've gotten perks before, but usually they came along with a promotion or something of the sort. I'm not up for either right now. I mean I'm the head of my department, there isn't another promotion from here."

"So what did the envelope contain?"

"That's the confusing part. It was just a letter, but it was written in his hand, not typed as one would normally have been and it read, ' _Tierra, you are my most trusted employee. Having said that, I have an important matter to discuss with you. When you read this, please call my secretary and she will set up a meeting for you and I to speak. Please keep this meeting to yourself_...' Secrecy isn't a thing Mr. Baxwell usually does. I mean, sure to keep something under wraps until the big reveal, but secret meetings, I've never known him to have one. If he wanted to meet with me why not just tell me to make an appointment with him from the jump, why the envelope?"

"Are you worried about your job?"

"No, I mean, I don't think so. There is no one at B.E. that can handle things, not the way I do. They don't bring in the clients that I do. And, they damn sure don't have a love for the job as I do. But lately, I've cut back on my hours just a little bit. See, I've been more active at the prayer meetings at church. I haven't gone on a Sunday yet. I figure when God is ready for me to, I will."

"So between the uncertainty at work and your reluctance to go to church on Sunday's, what do you think is going on?"

"I don't know? You're the therapist. Don't I pay _you_ to tell me what's wrong with me?" Tierra said, as her therapist wrote in his notebook. When he finished writing, he looked up at her, as if he were waiting for her to comment on his thought. So she did. "Ok look, maybe it's all those people. I mean, it's not a business deal. What if they begin to ask those usual church questions, like who needs Jesus or who wants to give their life to God? Then there's this lady, that's there sometimes, and she is so beautiful and kind. She doesn't say much, but when she does say something to me, it seems to be just what I needed to hear."

Again the therapist wrote in his notebook.

Tierra sat stiffly on the gray sofa in the therapist's office, with her legs bent up and her arms wrapped tightly around them. Ever since her mother showed up unannounced at her doorstep, she's been pushing for Tierra to go and get some type of professional counseling. Finally, a few weeks ago she gave in and received a few referrals from her primary doctor and sought one out.

"Well, you should think about what it is that bothers you about being there and write it down," the young therapist began. Dr. Mark Burton, was a nice looking man, but he didn't look a day over twenty-five. At first Tierra had an issue with allowing someone so young give her advice on her life. After two sessions, she mustered up enough nerve to ask him how old he was, and found out he was actually forty-two. She was glad, because out of the three therapists she had seen, Dr. Mark, as she called him, made her feel the most comfortable. Though she wasn't comfortable at all talking about her feelings, at least he was able to get her to open up somewhat. "By the way, Tierra, what has become of the gentleman who asked you out?"

"Asked me out, Dr. Mark?" she laughed. "Malcolm did more than ask me out. He damn near said we were destined to merge our lives into one! Now, he keeps sending me flowers and gifts. I've stopped handling his accounts. I'm just not ready to date. I don't trust anyone like that," she said as she closed her eyes tight, and twirled a strand of her hair between her fingers.

"Tierra, open your eyes. Do you know that whenever we talk about you dating you close your eyes and twirl your hair?" he asked, "I've noticed it over the past few sessions."

"No, do I really? Ewe! That's a very bad habit. I hope I don't do that when I'm out in public."

"Well, it seems to be only brought out by dating questions. So what are you going to do about this young man?"

"Come to think of it, I pray that this is not what Mr. Baxwell wants to talk about. I mean Malcolm is the largest client at B.E. I turned his account over to one of the agents under me. I just can't deal with having to talk to him and not knowing if he will bring up the dating question."

"Well, you'll know when you return to work today, right?"

"Yeah."

Doctor Mark stood up and reached his hand out towards Tierra.

"Has it been an hour already? Dag, time sure flies," she reluctantly stood up and accepted his hand into hers. "Next week, same time right?"

He nodded in agreement, after checking his appointment book.

"Ok, see you then."

She saw Dr. Mark on her Thursday's during her lunch breaks. Normally, Thursday's were reserved for lunch with her new clients. Now it was her secret lunch break for personal healing.

***

Terri anxiously waited for Tierra by the elevator, to return from lunch. As soon as the doors opened she could tell that there was a problem.

"What's wrong, Terri?"

"I don't know what's going on, Ms. Rodriquez, but while you were on your lunch break, a crew came in and started taking things out and moving things in."

"What crew? I didn't authorize any crew!" the duo walked quickly by everyone towards her office passed her male counterparts who were eye-balling her. They were equally wondering what all the commotion was about as they stood arms folded across their chest.

Tierra was unsettled when she reached her office and pushed open the double doors. She stood paralyzed at the site before her.

"Here you go miss," a man said handing Tierra a receipt, jolting her back to reality.

"But, I didn't order any of these things."

"It's all been taken care of Ms. Rodriquez. Have a great day," he replied, tipped his cap and walked off with three other men.

Tierra stood in the doorway of her office and fell back against the door, awe struck. Her office was completely transformed. It looked like an office that you'd see in a Black Enterprise. Not to say that she didn't have hers hooked up before, but now, this was something she just couldn't get over.

In the new office sat a beautiful, rich colored, _Cherry_ wood desk, with a high gloss finish. On one side of the room was a wall-to-wall five shelf matching _Cherry_ wood bookcase. Her extensive collection of law, marketing, and business books were all placed perfectly on the new shelves. Two tiger print upholstered chairs, with rich brown Italian leather with studded trim sat in front of her desk, a square glass table in was positioned in between them. A black rug with a tiger print border blanketed the middle of her _Calamander_ wood floor and a black oversized leather chaise sat in the corner behind her desk, in the corner in between two windows. All of her pictures, degrees and awards, had been reframed in black and deep brown colored leather frames, some hung on the wall behind her desk, while others graced the middle shelf of the bookcase.

Her most precious picture was the one of her father, her mother, her Abuela, and herself when she was ten and graduated early from elementary school, being pushed ahead a grade. It was her most prized possession because later that year her father died suddenly. She looked around frantically for the picture that was not sitting on the new desk.

Finally she found it. Breathing a sigh of relief, and passionately picked it up and held it to her chest, closing her eyes. She replaced it on the smaller table behind her desk. Smiling at the 8 ½ inch glass _Veladoras_ sitting on the table, she wondered who knew her rituals so well? The white paraffin inside of the glass jar was encased by the image of a pair of praying hands on one side and the Lord's Prayer on the other. She picked up a lighter that sat on the table and lit the candle.

'I love you papi," she whispered, a single tear forming in her eyes.

"Who did all this?" she asked to no one in particular, though Terri was standing in the doorway.

"I did," a voice said from behind the two of them.

Tierra turned around to see Mr. Baxwell standing next to Terri, with a soothing smile on his face. It was obvious he was very pleased with himself. But Tierra wondered what it was all for?

"So, do you like it? I wanted to surprise you. Are you surprised?," he announced.

Mr. Baxwell, sir. I do like it," she began uneasily. "But I'm not, what I mean to say is, Sir what is this all about?"

"Terri, can you give us a minute please."

"Yes Sir," Terri turned and closed the doors behind her, leaving a perplexed Tierra with an ambiguous Mr. Baxwell.

He had much to tell her and little time to tell it and he could tell she was full of a million questions.

"Tierra please sit down."

Tierra looked at her boss his face was full of anxiety, which made her nervous. She sat in one of the new chairs in front of her desk.

"I know you're confused as to why I did all this, and I apologize for that. I allowed so much time to pass that, I'm at the end of my own timeline.

"Mr. Baxwell, Sir, is everything OK?"

"Actually Tierra it is, and it isn't. I guess it all depends on how you look at it," he sat in the chair adjacent to hers and took her hand into his.

"This is going to be hard for you to take in, but I need you to listen to me closely. I'm out of time and what I'm about to tell you... well there is no easy way to say it."

Tierra had a puzzled look on her face.

"What's going on Mr. Baxwell?" she asked, sounding worried and concerned all at once.

Tierra sat and listened intently to the words he spoke. Her mind drifted to and fro with his announcement. She was beyond shocked. He sat next to her physically shaken as he confessed things that had been going on right under everyone's nose. Suddenly the past two months began to make sense to her. In fact the past two years all made sense. She now really understood why he pushed her the way he did. Why he sent her to night school to obtain her masters, and why he raised her to the status that he did. But, she was still wrapped her mind around his words.

"Sir, I don't mean to interrupt," she spoke in a low tone. "If I understand you correctly you want me to stand in until you find a replacement, do I have it right?"

"Well, no actually you don't."

"Its ok sir, it makes perfect sense to me. You've been pruning me to hold the reigns. I'm honored sir. But, how long have you known you were sick?"

There was a long agonizing silence, as Tierra analyzed her bosses face. She could now clearly see the signs of the sickness he just confided in her that he had. His time was limited, as treatments were only keeping him alive and functioning at this point. Unfortunately, they caught his disease too late and are unable to cure him. Until now, she attributed his tired, reddened, puffy eyes and pale complexion, to his age. Maybe even his overzealous 12 hour work days. On more than one occasion, she even confronted him, worried about his health. He always had a logical explanation for his disheveled appearance. Bottom line, he was the boss... what could she do?

Now, with her mentor for the past three years unmasking his true health issues, she was at a loss for words. She wished she had read the note when he first handed it to her. So much was going through her mind, as tears swelled and dropped from her eyes.

"No, please Ms. Rodriquez, please don't do that," Mr. Baxwell begged, standing up walking over to her desk and plucking two sheets of Kleenex out of a small box on her desk and handing them to her. He placed his hand on her shoulder, took a deep breath in, and released.

"Tierra, please... come with me."

He walked over to the door, opened it, and waited for Tierra to join him. Tierra wiped her eyes, rose from her seat and smoothed her barely pink blouse and brown pinstriped skirt before following Mr. Baxwell to his office.

As she walked by Terri and the others employees, to get to his office, she could hear the almost inaudible conversations about what they all perceived had just taken place. Little did they know, they were so far from the truth about her meeting. When they reached Mr. Baxwell's office, and Tierra walked in, the lead attorney for the company was standing in the corner looking out at the Connecticut River. He turned smiled, walked over and shook Tierra's hand.

"Please sit down," he motioned.

For the first time since in B.E. history, Mr. Baxwell closed the vertical blinds to his office shutting out the rest of the office. There was an immediate unsettling silence that came over the staff, as everyone looked at each other searching for answers.

"WHAT?! But MR. BAXWELL..." Tierra's strained voice shattered through the silence. For the first time, even Tierra's normally egotistical male colleagues, felt dreadful at the fate they thought was coming for her.

## Moment of Weakness

"Mr. Turner, I'm sorry, Ms. Rodriquez is unavailable at the moment." Terri admitted, barely making eye contact with him.

"Excuse me, I'm over here," he snapped his fingers in Terri's face to get her attention.

Terri jumped back at his boldness.

"Sir, is there a problem here," one of the male executives asked Malcolm, grilling him hard.

"No, and I'd direct you to mind your own business. This is my agent's secretary and I'm..."

"Actually Mr. Turner," Terri cut him off, "Ms. Rodriquez is no longer your agent. In case you forgot, she handed you over to... actually, meet your new agent. Timothy Jones, meet your newest client Mr. Malcolm Turner."

"Wow, this is awkward!" Timothy admitted, swiping his hand through his blonde crew cut.

"Yea, ok. Well Timothy is it? I'm not here to speak to you right now! So if you don't mind, "

"Well, Mr. Turner I don't mind, as long as you speak respectfully to Miss Terri here."

"WHAT?"

"Enough you two, damn!" Terri cut them off. "Look Malcolm, why don't you go and wait for Tierra in her office!"

"Yeah, that's cool. I'll just do that."

Malcolm glared hard through narrowed eyes at Timothy, as he walked away. When he reached Tierra's office, he was overcome with confusion. ' _Why didn't I think of this?_ ' he thought to himself as he allowed himself to fall onto her new Chaise, and put his feet up on the table, as he looked around her newly furnished office. He had one more trick up his sleeve to try and woo Tierra. He was a bit concerned however, that maybe he had some competition. If he did, and this was the way they were rolling, he was going to have to step his game up and fast. He didn't like the idea of there being someone else trying to impede on his territory.

***

"Hmmm, Ms. Rodriquez, Tierra, wait," Terri called out, as Tierra walked lifelessly past her.

No one in the office at that moment was blind to the obvious and apparent agony and confusion that was displayed on Tierra's face. Unknown to her, several men tried to stop and speak to her, but she appeared to glide across the floor to her office, closing the doors behind her.

"There you are, finally. Girl I been waiting forever!" Malcolm said.

"WHAT THE...! Oh my goodness Malcolm, you scared the shit out of me!" she snapped. "What the hell are you doing in here? And, get your damn feet off my table!" she demanded pushing his dark brown, Nubuck _Clarks_ off her brand new coffee table.

"My bad, my bad. What crawled up your ass?"

"Listen, Malcolm, I'm so not in the mood right now for this nonsense with you, ok!" she walked over to her desk and sifted through her rolodex. "Where is it?" she screamed.

"Hey, hey," Malcolm stood up and quickly made his way over to Tierra and wrapped his arm around her waist. "What's got my future girl all in an uproar?" he lifted her chin so that he could look into her eyes.

"I just need to find Aquarian's number. That's all I really need right now."

"So you have a man, after all? Why you ain't tell me that to begin with?" he asked a little irritated.

"What are you talking about? Qu is my best friend! He's like a brother to me."

"Yeah, well since when do _brothers_ , totally remodel they lil sis's office like this? This is some serious high quality furniture you got here. He really upgraded you!"

"I wish you'd just ask a damn question! Qu ain't upgrade me, Mr. Baxwell did! Listen Malcolm, just tell me what you want please, so you can go."

Realizing he was about to burn his last bridge, he had to think quickly. He gingerly took Tierra's hand in his and caressed it with his fingertips. He could feel her body trembling and smiled, sure her reaction was a result of his touch. That was until he looked down at her and saw her face moist with tears.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he spoke with perfect sounding concern.

"I can't talk about it, not right now."

Malcolm, wiped her face with the handkerchief from his jacket pocket and led her over to the chaise to sit down. Normally he wouldn't care about all at tears from a woman. Many a woman had shed tears at his confession that they were nothing serious to him. But Tierra, he thought she might be someone he could settle down with.

Tierra was silent, except for the occasional emotional inhale.

Malcolm, again took Tierra's face in the palm of his hands. He lifted her face to his and leaned down pressing his lips to hers. Her whole body shook, but she didn't push him away. His checks became wet as tears continued to fall from her eyes.

"It's going to be ok," Malcolm promised, sitting up straight.

"You have no idea,"

"Will you trust me?" he wiped her face again, this time placing the handkerchief in her hand, when he was finished. "Listen, I know you're afraid for some reason to jump into a relationship. But I'm not asking you to do that. Just don't shoot a brutha down before you give him a chance."

Tierra looked at him curiously. She didn't want to be so presumptuous as to assume he was full of it without giving him that chance. After all, the fact that he was just so tender with her in her time of need, was the exact opposite of the type of man she thought he was. Maybe she had misjudged him. Not to mention, she just kissed him. _What the hell was that all about_?' she thought to herself.

"Is this your ego talking, Malcolm? Because if this is all about you being ' _the great Malcolm Turner_ ,' and my turning you down, you can just take yourself out of here," she said, emotional.

Malcolm stood up, turned around, and then made eye to eye contact with her. He held her in his gaze, kneeling down in front of her, and kissed her softly on the forehead.

"Look Tierra, I'm going to be completely honest with you. Part of all this is about you turning me down, but not in the way you think. Sure, I can go anywhere and find a woman willing to go home with me. You know I'm not at a loss in that department, but I want more. I want someone who won't put up with my BS, who will tell it to me like it is. I want someone who doesn't care about the money, but who cares about me."

"And what makes you think I am that woman?"

"You've turned me down, not once or twice, but every time. You're not impressed with my bank account. Not impressed by the flowers or gifts. Hell Tierra, you've helped put half of that money in my account. You know exactly what I'm worth and it hasn't changed how you deal with me. I know half of your clients have seriously tried to get you to go on dates with them, and they all say it's for the same reason," he whispered taking her hand in his.

"You are a smart, beautiful woman, who can survive on her own, yet there is still something soft, sensual, even reserved about you," Malcolm stood up and pulled Tierra up to her feet. "You say it like it is, and you don't tolerate any nonsense, from anyone. That's such an attractive trait to any businessman especially one with my size bankroll. Hell, actually it's probably a turn-on to any man."

She fought hard to hold back the smile that was building inside. This man had her pegged. How did he figure her out? Maybe this was the sign she had been praying for, maybe Malcolm was the one. There was one way to be sure.

"Malcolm, if and I... and I do mean if, I agree to go out with you on one date, you have to promise me that if I say that's it afterwards, you will abide by it."

"Fine... All I need is one date," Malcolm agreed and then asked, "Where would you like to go?"

"Pick me up Sunday morning, 10:30 a.m."

"Alright, alright you got that, I'll send the limo..."

"No Malcolm, you pick me up, no limo, no drivers, you! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work," she turned and began to walk to her desk. But, Malcolm stopped her, taking her by the hand and pulling her back to him. When their body's met, he wrapped his hand across the back of her neck and leaned in, kissing her intensely. He smiled feeling her body surrender to his touch.

"Yeah, I only need one date!" he said, releasing Tierra from his grip. She stood in the middle of her newly remolded office and watched as he departed.

Malcolm, cut his eyes at Terri as he walked past her desk and Terri rolled her eyes at him. She wasn't impressed with him at all. In fact, she knew his type all too well.

When she heard the elevator doors close, she knocked on the double doors that led to Tierra's office. "Ms. Rodriquez... are you ok?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Close the doors please Terri. I need to talk to you."

"Is it about your meeting with Mr. Baxwell?"

"Yes, what he said, well it not only affects me, but it also affects you."

"Ok lay it on me."

## Small World After All

It had been about a week since Tierra's meeting with Mr. Baxwell, and things at the office were weird, to say the least. The male colleagues that were once cold and callous towards her seemed genuinely friendlier. They were beginning to operate as a unit, which was great. She only hoped once the news hit the fan that the new office harmony would remain.

She was sitting at her desk, awaiting her 10a.m. appointment, Mr. Townsin. She was praying he had a new attitude, when Terri buzzed that he arrived.

"Come in, Mr. Townsin," Tierra said, standing in front of her new desk, hands folded across her chest. "Now, where were we?"

"Mrs. Rodriquez, can I just say that I am very sorry for my attitude the last time I was here? It was very unprofessional..."

"Look Mr. Townsin, that was a month ago," she cut him off, "Do you think you are the first man to set up an appointment with Ms. Rodriquez, then come into my office and act like they were expecting a Mr. Rodriquez? You're not. I've been in this business for too many years. I've had to listen and deal with a lot of stupid male egos, innuendos and belittling due to the fact that I'm female and in charge of this department. But, trust me when I tell you, I work later and play harder than any man here at B.E. And I made it to where I am because of my work ethic. Not my skills on my back or my knees, ok! So let's skip the apologies and get down to work."

Mr. Townsin reluctantly swallowed what pride Tierra left him from his last meeting, opened his briefcase, and took out the folders. He and Tierra sat at her desk and talked about the company he represented financial problems for several hours.

***

"Mr. Townsin, I'm trying to tell you that this idea is not going to work. If you go back to your boss and tell him that is what you want to do, don't put my stamp on it. In fact, I will make sure to call Thomas before you even leave this building, and make sure he knows this is not my recommendation." Tierra explained.

"We have to cut money going out in order to save money coming in, Mrs. Rodriquez," Mr. Townsin said, looking at his watch.

"I'm sorry, are you late for something?" she was annoyed he had looked at his watch again for the fifth time.

"Actually yes, I am," he replied. "I should be at prayer right now. I've never missed prayer for work before. Look, I'm sorry. This may sound crazy to you, but..."

Tierra looked at her watch, and realized she too was late for prayer. Terri had come in to say goodnight several hours ago, but the two of them were in the midst of a heated debate, so Terri just closed the door.

"No, you're right. Actually, I am late as well."

"For church... you, you go to church?" he leaned back in his chair and looked at her with skeptically, as he asked.

"Yes I do? Why does that surprise you?"

"I must admit it does. When I met you before, I would have not thought you were a Christian woman."

"Well I wouldn't have considered myself one either, not then. I had only been to this church a couple of times. God is still molding me. But Mr. Townsin, let me ask you a question, how is a corporate, Christian woman supposed to behave? This is a cutthroat industry. As a woman, if I'm too nice I'll be eaten for dinner. If I'm too straight edged, then I'm considered a Bitch and my newfound Christ like qualities can't shine through. So what do I do?"

Mr. Townsin paused before responding, "I don't know the answer to that one, Mrs. Rodriquez. But I see your point."

"By the way, its Ms. Rodriquez, I'm not married, never have been. You can call Terri tomorrow to set up an appointment for next week. We can finish this then, Ok?"

They both gathered their belongings and walked to the elevator. At the ground floor, Mr. Townsin headed out the building and hailed a taxi as Tierra's driver pulled up.

"Mr. Townsin, where are your prayer services held?"

"Family Church."

"Really? Come on, that's where I'm headed." _Small world_ for sure, she thought, remembering Mr. Martinez words.

## What is this I'm feeling?

Tierra stepped out the taxi with a real smile plastered on her face. It had been weeks since she had to pretend her way through a day. Not only did she feel her sessions with Dr. Mark, the therapist, were helping her greatly deal with her father's death, but she was finally coming to grips with the rape as well. She had learned new things about herself within these sessions and had begun to take chances in her life that she never thought she would.

Malcolm had taken her on more than one date, and though she wasn't 100% comfortable dating, she chalked it up to be 28 years old, and never really experiencing the dating scene. She did go on a few dates in college, but she never was really comfortable with it. So she gave up, feeling she was forever tainted, scared, and updatable... until Malcolm. Even with him though, something wasn't quite right. She was frustrated, because she didn't know what it was, or how to figure fix it.

She shook Mr. Marks hand and took her usual spot on the sofa, her knees bent up to her chest, meeting the embrace of her arms.

"So, Tierra, you are looking happier these days," Dr. Mark observed. "What have you been up to?"

"Well, if you remember a while ago, I gave Malcolm the go ahead for one date. It's turned into a bit more. I know I haven't mentioned it however; things seem to be going well. In fact, we went out last night," she smiled her eyes resembling more of a Chinese mixture, than the Cuban heritage she truly was.

"Well Tierra, if things are going so well, then tell me, why are you still squinting your eyes when you talk about dating?"

She tucked her feet under her butt, stretched her arms like a feline after a long nap, and then replied, "I, I don't know. I mean, things are really going well. Malcolm is a good man. He's respected my space. He didn't even bug out when I took him to church with me on a Sunday."

"So you finally went on a Sunday? You didn't tell me that either," Dr. Mark said again, writing in his notebook.

"Oh yeah, well when we went there for our first... date? I told him to pick me up, and I had him take me to Church. He was more than a bit surprised when I said 'we're here,. ' but he played it cool. I think he actually enjoyed himself."

"So I'll ask you again, why are you still squinting, if things are going well?"

"I don't know. Something's missing, and I don't know what it is. I've never dated before. How am I supposed to know what's wrong, or if it's right? Am I being too critical or something? Maybe this is a mistake."

"Are you thinking dating Malcolm is a mistake?"

Tierra sat up straight on the sofa, leaned forward and locked eyes with her therapist. "It's just, I thought that when I found the right man, I would feel... different than I do, I guess. I mean honestly, it was never in my play book to date at all. That one event was enough for me. I tried. I mean I've been asked. I just couldn't let a man get that close to me ever again. But I had thoughts about how it would feel... ya know?" she turned her head and gazed out the window, and inhaled soft but deeply. "But whatever I thought I'd feel, this is not it."

"Well then what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. It's not like this is a business deal," she raised her hand and rested it on her forehead, shook her head slowly, and closed her eyes.

"So if it was a business deal, you could handle it, is that it?"

"Yeah, I'm in control in the boardroom. I know what to do. Here, this dating thing, this is all new to me. I'm lost and I don't like this feeling."

"Well, for next week, I'd like you to think about what kinds of characteristics you dreamt of, when you allowed yourself to dream of being in love. What did you want him to look like, talk like, act and treat you like. What kind of job did you see him having? Now that you've renewed your spiritual faith, how important is his faith to you? Do you want children, how important are his family values? Write them down and we will compare Malcolm to your list."

"Ok. That sounds like a plan, I guess. I'll see you next week," Tierra mouthed solemnly. She took the appointment card from Mr. Mark and exited his office.

***

After her session, her blackberry vibrated to remind her that, she was supposed to be meeting Aquarian for lunch? They had both been so busy for nearly a month and hadn't had time to see one other. They made a promise not to allow a month to go by without seeing each other once. It had been 29 days and Aquarian called her last night to tell her to meet him for lunch at JC's, no excuses. She hopped in her car and told the driver her new destination. Then she called Terri to inform her of where she was headed and to clear her next hour.

JC's was a nice, quiet place for lunch: not too many people, not big crowds or long lines and the house band would be playing Jazz tunes. JC's had light lunch items on the menu like: salads, soup, cold and hot sandwiches and Tierra had her heart set on some sweet potato fries and an apple, mango salad. When she walked in she looked around for Aquarian, but he hadn't arrived yet. She noticed Roe sitting at the bar and walked over to him.

"Hey, miss thang!" he said and stood to give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Back with that big bear you were with the other week?"

"No Roe, I'm meeting Qu for lunch. Have you seen him yet?"

"Nope. Why you dating that ex-ball player anyway? He's not your type. You could do so much better."

"And just what is my type, Roe? He's nice, respects me, _and_ he goes to church with me. What more can I ask for?"

"Ti listen, you're a good friend. We've known each other for a few years now. So I wouldn't feel right if I didn't tell you my concerns. Just be careful." Roe said placing his hand on Tierra's shoulder, turning her attention to him. "With him things may not be as they seem, ok. Something just doesn't feel right about that guy," he warned.

She wasn't listening. She was tired of hearing about how she was making a mistake with Malcolm. Terri didn't like him. Timothy, the agent she placed his account with, begged her to take him away. But, what did they know? For that matter, what did she know? She spotted Qu as he walked in. She excused herself, and went to meet him, glad that conversation was over.

"Hey Tia'wanna, long time no see," Qu greeted her. He picked her up, wrapping his muscular arms around her, and spun around. He had the biggest childlike grin on his face. When he put her back down, he poked her in the arm.

"Ouch! What's that for? You mad at me or something?" she frowned, trying not to rub her arm.

"Naw, I'm just playing. Saying hi. I ain't trying to catch a beat down by your new beau."

"Y Tu?" she said to Qu, cocking her head to the side "What does everybody have against Malcolm?" she fumed. "I don't get it. For years I've been single, and all ya'll was bugging out telling me I needed to date. Now that I have someone, everybody wants to hate on him!"

Qu smiled seeing see she was emotional over this. He laughed inside at the sight of the lil girl her remembered from 20 years ago showing up in this adult frame. She was in her usual pouting stance; her weight shifted to her left leg, arms folded tightly across her chest, lips slightly poked out and her eyes quickly fluttering. She was still a Beautiful Mess.

He pulled one of her hands out of their locked position and took them into his. Then he wrapped his arms tightly around her and leaned down, whispering in her ear, "Ti, you are everything to me. I don't know about anybody else's motives, but as for mine, I don't want anyone to hurt you. You are a very special woman to me."

"Lately, I've seen a change in you, and I thank God every day for bringing us back together. If this is the man God has for you, then I'll pray for your happiness. I'll be the flower girl in your wedding," he laughed. "But Ti, you don't look like the woman in love that you claim to be."

Neither one made a move or remarked on Qu's last statement. Instead Tierra dragged her feet across the tiled floor, over exaggerating every step, until they reached her favorite table. Qu pulled out the chair for her to sit in and she dropped down into it, continuing her pout.

"What am I going to do with you?" he asked, readjusting his chair so it was right next to hers. When he sat down Tierra laid her head on his shoulder releasing a long sigh.

"You ready to order?" the waitress asked.

Tierra nodded her head. Qu ordered Tierra a steak & cheese Panini, with mushrooms, Jalapeño, Chipotle mayo, grilled onions and a Strawberry lemonade to drink. For himself, ordered a Tuna Panini, with mayo, lettuce, tomato, banana peppers and Swiss cheese, along with a Strawberry lemonade to drink.

Tierra sat up and looked at him crossways as the waitress walked away with their orders.

"Was that right?" he asked.

Tierra remained silent.

"Ti?" he asked again.

"Well, I was going to order some sweet potato fries and a salad. But, actually it's been a while since I had my favorite Panini."

"Are you sure, because I can call her back."

"Naw, I'm good."

For the next few minutes, no one uttered a word. They focused on the stage and the smooth Jazz sounds coming from the trio. Brownstone didn't recite poetry this early in the day, so just the musicians where present.

"What is it like, Qu?" she asked, breaking the silence between them.

"What, what's what like?"

"Being in love? What's it feel like?'

Qu was taken back by her question. He turned to look at her and found her fiddling with the silverware on the table. He lifted her head and sighed. "Ti, if you have to ask that question..."

She gave him a blank stare, curled her top lip, and inhaled and exhaled forcibly before turning away from him.

"Tierra Rodriquez, listen to me!" he demanded. Startled by his tone, she turned back around, but showed no emotion while she faced him. "Love, can't be explained. When you feel it you'll know it, is what I mean. You won't have to wonder. Sure, you may be afraid of what you feel. I mean love, love is a powerful emotion. You think of that person all the time. You pray for them. If they were hurt, you'd never leave their side. Love and infatuation can be mistaken, though, so, when people tell you to be careful. That's all they mean, be careful. Guard your heart."

"Qu, I don't have much experience, no, let me rephrase that, I don't have any experience, you know, in this area. What if I'm making a big mistake? I don't want to get hurt," she revealed.

"Listen to your heart, Ti. You've always had great instincts. Don't stop listening to them now. Trust yourself and what you feel. Pray. Yeah I said it, pray for guidance. Pray for the wisdom to know loves truth from, it's lies. If he is telling you lies that is."

The waitress brought their food over and they left the conversation where it was. They ate their food, pretty much in silence.

Afterwards, Qu slid his chair back over to Tierra and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. They sat and listened to the band play. Tierra sank into the safety of Qu and smiled. ' _Why didn't it feel like this when she was with Malcolm?_ ' When several people stood up to dance, Qu made his move. He jumped to his feet and stuck out his hand.

"Care to go for a whirl?"

She looked up at Qu. The soft glow of the chandeliers overhead rose over him. He looked like something out of a dream. She slowly reached out her hand, and allowed him to lead her to the floor. Qu took her in his arms, and pulled her close to him. The house band was playing their favorite jam, " _Karyn White's, Love Saw It_ " He smelled like a mix of Egyptian Oil and Curve as she melted against his frame. She'd been this close to him before. At their high school prom, they danced together, but it didn't feel like this. In Qu's arms she felt safe, like she was gliding on heavens clouds. She closed her eyes and reverenced the moment.

"Heaven," Qu said softly.

She stopped dancing and looked up questioning him with her eyes.

"This must be what heaven feels like," he said, brushing a curl out of her face.

"What do you mean?"

He just looked at her, and kissed her gently on her forehead. "Malcolm better be good to you, Tierra. I hope he realizes what a gift he has in you." Qu, held Tierra close, and as they resumed their dance.

## Be a MAN!

"Aquarian Skeene! What is your problem, man?" Sean scolded.

"Yo Sean, what is your problem? Last time I checked, you were not my mama! What the hell you doing, screaming at me, and calling me by my government name?"

"Someone needs to get some sense into your head, man. We been boys for what, 90% of our lives? I've called you much worse."

"True but..."

"Listen to me," he broke in. "I've known Tierra just as long as you, and we both know she is a good woman. But you know damn well she's never let any man get close enough to be more than a business associate. Shoot, there are only, what, five to maybe, _maybe_ seven people she even considers friends. If you aren't going to tell her how you feel, then you've got to get over this already. This is crazy. You're driving me crazy, and she is driving Shireece crazy."

Sean stood in front of his longtime friend, trying to find the right words to say.

Qu had invited him over to play the newest edition of _Madden_ on his _Xbox360_... Sean rarely played anymore, so it was the perfect opportunity. Though Shireece wanted to spend some quality time with Sean, he made up an excuse about how Qu, really needed to talk to him to get out of it quality time. ' _Shireece wouldn't understand, I love her, but between Madden, or her, its Madden all the time_.' He rationalized, as he drove to Qu's condo. When he arrived, Qu was an emotional wreck. The whole time they played the game, Qu went on and on about his feelings for Tierra. Eventually Sean had enough! He shut the game off, 4th quarter, 2 minute warning. Qu had the ball and was up by one touchdown.

"I know, I know Sean, but I feel like, we've been friends for so long... Wait? What do you mean she's driving Shireece crazy? Is she talking about me?" his eyes lit up as he turned to Sean for answers.

"No, about, that Malcolm cat," the light in Qu's eyes disappeared. "I swear I know him from somewhere, man, and I can't place my finger on where. You know, stuff like that drives me crazy. Maybe its TV, he is an ex-baller."

"Whatever! I don't think she sees me as more than her pain in the butt brother. ' _The twin her mother never had'_ , as she calls me. Besides her and what's his name, Malcolm, has been steady for like two months now. How can I get in between that? That's not my style, Sean."

"I don't know, but I know she is not happy with Malcolm. Shireece told me. But, she doesn't want to get her heart broken, or fail so she is hanging on. You know that girl never could admit defeat. She's gonna make it work no matter what."

Qu paced around his condo scratching his head. He finally stopped and walked into his kitchen. After pouring himself a glass of OJ, he sat down at the kitchen table, and slumped in the chair. Then he sat up, took a sip of his juice, and let his head fall to the table. His head made a thud sound as it met the glass surface.

"Qu!" Sean yelled from the other side of the glass table. "Man, you're seriously bugging."

"Well, what am I supposed to do? Just call her up like, ' _Hey Ti, I know you've got a man and we've been friends forever, but I realize that I love you. I have for a long time, and I want to be your man._ '? What type of nonsense is that?"

"YES! What is this mess that you're doing now? Is this working out better for you? What are you a man or a mouse?" Sean asked loudly.

Qu lifted his head and searched deep inside himself for an answer to Sean's seemingly obvious question, before reluctantly he admitted his status...

"A mouse dude, yup I'm a mouse dude."

"I'm calling your Parents. You done lost your mind," he teased.

Qu ignored him and allowed his head to meet the table again.

## Clarifying a few things

"Ms. Rodriquez," Attorney Justis Wade began, "I realize things may have been a bit over whelming the last time we spoke. So I wanted to be sure that you completely understood what it is Mr. Baxwell is asking of you."

Tierra sat very still in a leather, Oxblood colored, Mahogany trimmed armed chair. The chair sat in front of Mr. Wade's matching Mahogany desk. His office was on the top floor of an office building on the corner of Pleasant and Main Street in Northampton. She was nervous to say the least, and it showed as she began to twitch in her seat. Mr. Wade called her a few days earlier and asked her to come to his office and discuss the information Mr. Baxwell had revealed. When she woke up Tuesday morning, she put on her favorite outfit, a white, high-waist, Pencil skirt, with a turquoise petal sleeved scooped neck shirt. The Sterling Silver and Jade rosary beads her father gave her on her Quinceañera, hung around her neck for good luck. And, the matching silver and jade drop earrings dangled from her ears. Her ensemble was completed with a simple pair of white Ed Hardy pumps.

She uncrossed and re-crossed her legs, right over left, left over right, as she adjusted her skirt. Brushing her hand over her tightly pulled back bun, her hand found and began to twist strands of hair she left dangling, for such a nervous moment as this.

"Tierra, this would be the time for you to speak up if you think you can't handle this. Mr. Baxwell has a lot of faith in you. He had many people to choose from, but he felt that from the day you came to the B.E. you were the answer to his prayers. That's why he molded you."

"Do you think, his faith in me is correct? Or do you think he's making a mistake. Maybe one of my male colleagues should handle this."

"Tierra, there is no changing Jonathan's mind once he has it set. I'll admit that when he first came to me with this some, three years ago, I was uncertain."

"Three years ago?!"

"Did you not hear me? He had you pegged for this from the moment you arrived. I've watched you grow and evolve into a very powerful young woman. A CEO is defiantly inside of you Tierra, but you have to believe that."

"CEO? I thought I was just standing in until, the Acting CEO arrives?"

Mr. Wade leaned back and picked up a white piece of paper off his desk. He scanned it for a moment, and then handed it to Tierra, pointing at a line near the bottom.

"Read this."

' _I, Jonathan Baxwell, creator and majority shareholder of Baxwell Enterprisez, to hereby enter into this contract of my own free will and in sound mind, with the advisement of legal staff. The below is offered free of will and without duress....,_

Affective upon signature, I Jonathan Baxwell, do hereby transfer temporary control of my 51% shares to, my MM&E director, Tierra Rodriquez. I grant her full access and control, the ability to make decisions as she deems necessary in my absence without the need of approval from myself....,

_In the unfortunate event of my death, I bequeath my shares and permanent control of B.E. to Tierra Rodriquez. As CEO she will have full control of my 51%, in addition to her 20%. I also grant full access and transference to all and any perks, liberties, memberships etc... that I currently own_...

Tierra sat quietly with the contract she signed a few days ago, dangling between her thumb and forefinger. How did she miss this? Somehow she heard a totally different conversation and signed a contract that effective immediately, made her acting CEO. She couldn't believe what she was reading! As she read on, her face became void of emotion.

"Ms. Rodriquez? Are you ok?"

"Hmm, um," she nodded barely.

"Is there anything you'd like to ask me? Or anything you're still confused about?"

She lowered her head and silently prayed.

' _Father, I thank Mr. Baxwell for his faith in my abilities. For him seeing so much in me, when I didn't know it existed. For his taking a chance on this woman, when I'm sure everyone around him told him he was crazy. Please Lord, grant him health, and strength. If it be your will please allow him to recover and my stay in his shoes be brief. If not please grant me the strength and wisdom to be the CEO he envisioned me being._ '

After which, she cleared her throat and lifted her head a brand new woman.

"Actually there is something Mr. Wade," she asked for a pen, stood up and walked over to his desk and made some notations on the contract before handing it over to him.

"If these changes can be implemented, then tell Mr. Baxwell we have a deal. I know I already signed this, but as you know, I didn't fully comprehend the logistics of what I was signing. Now that I do, I have but one request. I don't think Mr. Baxwell will have a problem with it. We have spoken about this recently."

"Jonathan was right, you are a savvy businesswoman. I'm convinced now more than ever that he made the right choice. The changes you are requesting... I'm sure they won't be a problem. I think you will do a magnificent job,"

Tierra blushed at his compliment and turned away.

Mr. Wade smiled, and paged his secretary.

"Please retype this contract making the adjustments as noted here, here and here."

"Yes sir. Do you need this right back sir?"

"Well, what would you like to do, Ms. Rodriquez? Technically you are in charge now."

"Could you get this back to me as soon as possible."

"Yes, Ms. Rodriquez, right away."

## Settling into Surprise

Tierra walked around Northampton's Main Street for about an hour after she left Mr. Wade's office. There were a million things going through her mind. Technically, as Mr. Wade informed her she was acting CEO, the minute she signed the contract. So, when she walked back into the office, she was the HDIC ( _Head Diva In Charge_ ). She smiled, trying to deter the feelings of inadequacy. What in the world made him think she could handle this? She didn't know, but she was determined not to let her mentor down.

She returned to the office, trying not to show any sign of the uneasiness she was feeling, as everyone watched her like a pack of hungry vultures. Ever since she walked out of her meeting with Mr. Baxwell a few days ago, the rumor mill was on overload. Soon all would be brought to light, as a mandatory company meeting was planned for Saturday. Tierra smiled, continuing her way to her office. They had no idea they were eyeballing the new boss. She lifted her head a little higher and sashayed confidently past _her_ staff.

***

"Tierra, wake up!"

But there was no movement from the sleeping Diva.

"Ms. Rodriquez, wake up. You're going to be late," Terri nudged her gently.

Hearing the word late caused Tierra to instantly sit up and open her eyes. Terri was standing in front of her holding a garment bag.

"It's 7 O'clock. Did you forget, your dinner with Malcolm? You have an hour to get there. Your car will be here in 30 minutes."

"Thank you," Tierra said, wiping her eyes and rushing into her private bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later she came out wearing a red dress with a fitted bodice, scooped neckline, scrunched waistband that flared out with various lengths of cascading sheer fabric. The jaw dropping dress stopped just at below her knees. On Tierra everything was breathtakingly beautiful, and this one of a kind creation was no different.

"Ms. Rodriquez, can I ask you a question, woman to woman?"

"Sure."

"Do you really think Mr. Turner is the right man for you?"

"What does everyone have against him?" Tierra asked, turning to face Terri.

"I don't know about anyone else. But as for me, he seems devious. I've heard you say more than once, that God can send you a message through anyone and in anyway. What if we are all delivering a message that he isn't your God-sent, like you think he is?" Terri asked as she handed Tierra her Ruby earrings, and matching gold necklace with a Ruby heart slider.

Tierra put on her jewelry as Terri made her way out of the office. She sat down on her chaise and picked up the picture of her grandma off a nearby table, and whispered, ' _Is love really supposed to be this hard, Abuel?'_

"Ok... yes... she'll be right down," Terri said into the phone. "The car is here," she informed Tierra standing at her door, pausing before continuing, "Be careful boss, ok?"

"I will. Thanks Terri," they hugged before Tierra exited and made her way to the car that awaited her on the street below.

***

When the doorman at JC's opened the car door for Tierra, she was whisked inside immediately. Once inside, she stood looking around in amazement. JC's had been transformed into a virtual flower garden. In the center of the dance floor stood Malcolm with a bouquet of mixed blossoms in his hands.

Tierra smiled and walked towards him.

"Malcolm, what's going on? Did you do all this?"

Malcolm kissed her on the cheek and took her hand in his free one. "Yes, I wasn't sure of your favorite flower, so I ordered them all," he shrugged.

"Malcolm, I told you. You don't have to do all this, really. It's too much," she insisted.

"See that's why I love you so much," Malcolm said, hugging her. "Is all this for me?" he remarked, spinning her around her, admiring her outfit.

"Well we are here to celebrate," she replied. Secretly though, she wanted to talk to Qu. She wanted to celebrate with her best friend. But surprisingly she found herself calling Malcolm, to inform him of her news. He insisted on taking her out to celebrate.

Being here with him though, even with all his grand gestures, didn't make her feel half as good as chilling on the sofa watching a football game with Qu.

"That we are, and I'm so proud of you. Jonathan couldn't have made a better choice." he said, caressing her cheek. "Ok, come on, let's sit down so we can eat," he led her to a table off to the side of the dance floor.

A waitress came over and filled their water glasses, another brought over salads with raisins, dried cranberries and apples mixed with a variety of lettuce greens, followed by raspberry sorbet, then mango glazed, grilled chicken breasts with a mango and pineapple salsa, rice pilaf, cream spinach, and buttermilk biscuits.

The two of them ate in silence. Occasionally Tierra would look up and wonder what it was she saw in him that no one else seemed to see. Why was everyone so against a man who was set to make her dreams come true?

"For dessert," Malcolm began, standing up looking towards the band. Soon thereafter they began to play. Tierra looked towards them as Roe's eyes fixated on her.

"Tierra, these past few months have been great. I've learned so much about you. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know all there is to know about you."

"Oh my!" she said, looking at Malcolm as he lowered himself to one knee in front of her, taking her left hand in his.

"Tierra Rodriquez, would you please, spend the rest of your life with me?" Malcolm proposed, holding out a huge 5-carat diamond solitaire engagement ring.

She just looked in disbelief at Malcolm. ' _Marriage? But we've only been dating for 2 months. Is he crazy? He has to be crazy. There is no way I'm marrying him!_ ' she thought!

"This isn't funny," she finally managed to say, before getting up from the table, taking a few steps back.

"I'm serious," he responded, grabbing her by the wrist.

"You can't be. We don't even know each other that well," she reminded him, trying to pull her wrist out of his clutches. "You've never even met my mom. I've never met your family...."

"What's going on here? I went through a lot to show you, I want to be with you. You ain't going to play me now!" he said looking around the room. "We've been like PB&J for the past 2 months. Hell, I even let you take me to church! Now, would I do all that, if we weren't meant to be together?" he responded, pulling her closer to him.

"PB&J Malcolm, really?" he had a nerve! That was what she referred to her friendship with Qu as, he knew that.

"I mean, come on Tierra, dude ain't got nothing on me. That should be our name. Trust me, say yes and I'll help you forget that lame dude!" Malcolm replied,` irritated. "If you don't trust that I really want to be with you, then maybe I gave you too much credit. I could have..." he began, and then cleared his throat before continuing, "I want you, Tierra. Here, maybe this will help you decide," he slid the expensive ring on her finger. "See how this feels for a while. Maybe you can picture yourself as my wife, and we can move on. You let me know, but... don't take too long," he said in a soft tone, leaning to her ear, "you know I'm not good with waiting. Like you told me once, I can have anyone I want. I chose you," he kissed her very passionately, while fuming inside. Smiling devilishly, he turned and walked away, leaving her standing in the middle of the floor.

Tierra made her way over to the bar and asked the woman behind it to make her a Blue Hawaiian She turned and looked at the entrance, thinking maybe Malcolm would return, but he didn't. When she picked up her drink, there was a clang sound. She looked down, to see the ring he'd slid on her finger. There was a smile inside, but she refused to let it out. This was too fast, right?

Roe stood up from his piano and began to walk towards her.

"I got this one," Brownstone said, pressing her hand to Roe's chest. "This needs a lady's touch."

Roe threw his hands up and bowed to Brownstone as he helped her step off the stage. Tierra was still standing at the bar, still in a daze, when Brownstone approached.

"Tierra?"

"I must look really stupid right now, huh?" she started. "There are thousands of women who would love for Malcolm to just say hello to them. He asked me to marry him and... I just stood there."

"Tierra, forget what some other woman would love for him to do. What does your head tell you?"

"My head? My head says things are moving too fast..."

"I know people say listen to your heart, but your heart can mislead you. You get all caught up in emotions, and think you're in love, when actually, maybe you're just in like. I don't want to see you say yes to something you should have said no to," she touched Tierra gently on the shoulder as she spoke. "I'm not saying that Malcolm isn't the guy for you, girlfriend. I don't know him like that. But I do know you, and you've kept your heart locked up tight for a long time. If you're not sure, maybe you need to take some time and think about why."

The room suddenly felt like Tierra was on a merry-go-round blindfolded. Her skin looked like she ran through a sprinkler on a hot July day. She grabbed the sides of her head trying to keep the vice grip someone had thrown it in, from tightening any further. It was like she had tunnel vision. One minute she could hear the conversation fine and the next the she knew the sound began to fade. She knew this feeling all too well, and reached out for the bar just in front of her. But it was too late. She fell forward, limp, hitting her head on the way down.

"DAMN!" Roe and Travis yelled together, jumping off the stage. Brownstone told Travis to go and retrieve Jade from the back and bring a wet cold towel with him on his return. When Jade arrived, Brownstone and Roe had already helped Tierra to her feet and was in the process of walking her over to a booth. Unsteadily she slid into the booth, leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

Brownstone used the cool towel to wipe the sweat from Tierra's face. Afterwards she placed it on her head where a bump was clearly forming. Jade told the trio to return to the stage and prepare for the club to open, while she talked to Tierra.

"Tierra, you're my girl. But, what the hell just happened?"

"I don't know Jade?" Tierra responded sitting up quickly, grabbing the towel off her head. "Don't you think I ask myself everyday what's wrong with me? I mean, why don't I feel like he feels? He's all any woman would want in a man, but I'm not happy... not really," she vented, feeling the merry-go-round ride begin again. She replaced the towel on her throbbing head.

"Then why are you still with him, if you don't think you love him?"

"I keep thinking maybe if I give it more time. Maybe I just need to try harder. I don't know. Am I crazy, Jade?"

"I wouldn't say crazy Tierra. But tell me when you see Malcolm, what do you feel? Does your heart light up? Do you enjoy spending time with him? Do you look forward to seeing him?"

"Well, I mean, I don't get all fluttery if that's what you're asking. I like being with him, but sometimes..." she took the towel down again and looked at the table, "Sometimes, I wish he had never asked me out, or that I had never ever said yes."

"What are you so afraid of? Do you think that if you let him go there won't be any one else?"

"No, it's not that. It's just I haven't dated since college. I mean, even then I only went on one date, and that ended bad. I gave up Jade. This is my first real relationship, EVER. If I can't get this right then..."

"Tierra," Jade interrupted trying not to laugh, she didn't want to offend her friend, " girl listen, no one gets it right on the first try?"

"I just thought... I thought, if I prayed, God would lead me to the right one."

"Have you really been listening to the voice of God? I can assure you, if this isn't who he wants for you, he has sent messages to you. Have you been listening for a response to your prayers, or have you been waiting for the response you _want_ to hear?"

Tierra lay with her head against the booth. She thought about the past two months and all the warnings and advice she'd received from her friends. Exhausted and agitated, she began to cry.

Jade stood up, took hold of her by the arm and led her back to the bar. She sat her down on a bar stool in front of the huge mirror that hung on the wall behind several brands of liquor.

"Look at that woman! What do you see?"

"Failure," Tierra responded lowering her head.

Jade lifted her chin, "You need to look closer. You're not going to let this ruin all you have accomplished, are you? You have made it to the top of you department. Do you think that is what a failure does? You are a strong, attractive, God-fearing woman. Give yourself credit for taking this step at all. Heck, I never thought I'd see you walk in here, on the arm of a man, and you did. Now you need to decide if this relationship is what you want?!"

Tierra stared at her reflection in the mirror. She wasn't a failure. Jade was correct, she took a step she never thought she would, and now she just had to plan her next step.

"Brownstone, Roe," Jade called, motioning for them to come over.

"Change of plans. Malcolm paid for the club for the night. Let's close up, ok. You two take Tierra home."

They nodded, as Roe helped Tierra off the bar stool. Jade gave her good friend a big hug and smiled affectionately at her. Then the trio made their way out to Roe's car.

When they arrived at Tierra's apartment, Roe explained to Mrs. Rodriquez what happened, as Brownstone walked her to her bedroom.

"Don't worry," Mrs. Rodriquez assured them. "I will take care of her, she'll be alright." She escorted them to the door, and then made her way to her daughter's bedroom. Tierra was lying on her stomach, screaming into the bed. She pulled her blanket over her head, as her mother sat on the end of the bed.

"Mom, please don't say anything. I don't think I can take it," she sobbed from under the blanket.

Nicole Rodriquez pulled the blanket back and looked at her daughter lovingly. Her daughter laid before her, emotionally spent. Her eyes were red, her eyeliner made a raccoon mask out of her once beautiful eyes. Barely noticeable remnants of her Bamboo Pink lip color remained on her lips and her hair returned to the natural state she hated.

Nicole walked over to Tierra's dresser, and pulled out one of her Betty Boop nightgowns. With the nightgown in hand, she walked into the bathroom, turned on the IPod, scrolled to the praise24 playlist and turned on the faucet on the Jacuzzi. She sat the nightgown down on the vanity before speaking to her daughter.

"Tierra... go and talk to the Lord," she pointed, standing in the doorway between the bathroom and bedroom.

Tierra looked blankly at her mom. "In the bathroom?"

"Yes, Tierra, that's where you relax, where you unwind. That's where you may hear him more clearly," she said convincingly.

As Tierra rose, her body felt like someone was a child holding onto her legs. She looked down barely able to move. The closer she moved to the bathroom the harder it became.

"Mom, I can't. I need to sleep."

"Tierra that is just the enemy trying to keep you from hearing what God has to say. Get in there, push through it," her mother insisted.

" _Lord, open her ears so that she may hear your voice clearly_ ," she pleaded closing the bedroom door.

## I'm Yours

The congregation at United Family of Prayer Church was on their feet as the pastor delivered his sermon. He had a way with words that touched someone right in the midst of their storm. It seemed to Tierra that since the first time she arrived, the young pastor somehow was able to read her perfectly. Every time she came, he spoke directly to her broken places.

"The Lord doesn't want half of your praise. He doesn't give you half a blessing. When he blessed you with a raise, it wasn't half a raise. When he blessed you with a house, it wasn't half a house. When he blessed you with a wife, it wasn't half a wife. Why would you give him half praise? Why would you hold back on your thanks, and glory to God? What are you afraid of? Stop looking around at who is looking at you? Why do you care what your neighbor thinks? Maybe they don't think they have as much to be thankful for as you do. Maybe God didn't move some mountains this week for them. Why do you care? Praise God for what he has done for you!

"Did he turn you away? NO, He welcomed you into his fold with open arms. He loved you as you were, and he showed you how to be better. Now I don't know about some of you in here, but if it had not been for the Lord on my side..." The church was a thunderous roar the more the young pastor spoke. "I don't know where I would be, do you? I might still be in that bar, still going after them girls to fill my voids. I might be dead... but the Lord kept me! The Lord renewed me! The Lord took me as I was and healed me," The pastor wiped the river of sweat that poured from his brow with his black handkerchief. He took a sip from the glass of water below the pulpit and looked out as his congregation rose to their feet, shouting words of praise.

Pastor Xavier Norwalk may have been a bit on the young side some when he took over for his ailing father. Some thought he would not be able to stand in the shoes his father left and left the congregation. He was able to bring in the younger followers that his father was never able to reach. United family of Prayer Church had what the pastor considered a nice size congregation. Not too big, not too small. ' _I want to know my flock, personally. I can't know 20,000 people on that level. I don't want to be responsible for that large of a flock. It's my job as pastor, to lead them to the Kingdom of Heaven. Two-thousand is hard enough for me. I don't know what I'd do with twenty-thousand_.' Pastor Norwalk said once to a _Union News_ newspaper reporter.

"You think the Lord just handed me this robe? You think because of my age I haven't gone through any tribulations? I bet you think that I haven't had my share of pain, trials and storms to get to where I am now? Do you believe that because I wear this robe that I have no more storms to endure? I have storms! I have issues! Trust me when I say, the Devil still throws at me. Yet, I know with whom my strength lays. I know what name to call on to make the devil and his minions flee. I know what name is mightier than any other name. Do you? Do you know how to call on the father? Do you only call his name when you're going through? Do you call his name when you're happy and feel blessed? When you have plenty, and when you have little? If he never blessed you again, could you STILL praise on his name? Come on, praise his name. Praise his name congregation! He's waiting to hear from you. He's been calling to you. He's left messages; have you checked your machine? Did you take your phone off the hook and leave a busy signal for your God? But then wonder why there's been no change in your situation. Well, I dare you to pick up the phone. I dare you to answer the call of the Lord. I dare you to surrender to him and say, 'Here I am, Lord. Use me, as you will'. Who will answer the Lord's call today?"

Pastor Norwalk walked down from his pulpit and stood in front of the sanctuary, his arms stretched out wide. This was the time when he opened the church for anyone who wanted to give his or her life to God, wanted to renew their relationship with God, or join the church. The church choir sang "Mercy Saw Me" to get everyone's heart in the right place. The musicians strummed on the drums, and the pianist transferred emotions through the keys.

Tierra's heart was beating to match the intensity of the drummers beat. She felt like she was floating on a cloud. She had no control left. Her body was not her own, her legs were not under her control.

She jumped up and down, raised her hands toward the sky, and looked up at the picture of Jesus on the cross that hung on the wall behind the altar. She was drawn to it. She stepped out from her row in the back of the church and walked down its center aisle. Several members of the congregation patted her on the back as she glided down the aisle. When she reached the end of the pews, she fell to her knees, closed her eyes and began to cry.

"I'm sorry Father, forgive me!" she cried. "I shouldn't have blamed you for what they did to me. Oh God, I'm so sorry!"

Pastor Norwalk walked over to where Tierra was kneeling. One of the ushers brought her some tissues and wiped her brow. Another placed a gold colored piece of material around her back, to cover her. Tierra jumped in her skin at the ladies touch.

"It's just God child. He won't hurt you. Let go and let God have his way," the woman spoke in a calm voice.

Tierra surrendered to the powerful sensation that came from within. The young pastor placed his hand on Tierra's forehead and spoke to her in her ear. The congregation was again on its feet, waving their hands, shouting, and jumping around. Some prayed aloud with their hands out-stretched towards the new disciple in the front of the church. Others were sending up hallelujahs all of their own.

"This is a glorious day! You see what the Lord can do, if only you open your heart to receive him? Each of you here has made a choice to come, to call upon the Father and express that you need him. It's a beautiful day church!" Pastor Norwalk exclaimed.

Each of them affirmed in voice that they believed Jesus died for them, rose again and was their savior. The pastor walked down the row of people, asking each of them, if they understood what it meant to give their life to Christ and if they were ready to commit their lives to him.

"Pastor, I need Jesus to fill me, to heal the places that the Devil has tried to tear apart. To make me whole again!" she cried, when the pastor came to her.

"You've just asked him," he said placing his hand on her shoulder.

Family members came up and hugged their loved ones who gave their lives to Jesus. Tierra stood silent covering her tear filled face.

"Someone come and welcome our new sister into the family." Pastor Norwalk asked. A silhouette rose and made its way to the front of the church. Tierra felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, and looked up from under her tissue covered face.

"God isn't concerned with your looks," a familiar male voice said.

Qu looked like an Angel. Right on time, again! She stood up on her tip toes and hugged him tightly.

"I love you, Tierra Marqusia Rodriquez," Qu said in a soft quiet voice.

Several other church members took turns giving Tierra a hug. Soon she looked around and realized Qu was no longer there. When she made her way back to her seat, she looked for him, but didn't see him anywhere.

After service, as she was making her way to the main entrance, she saw the woman she referred to as "the lady in white". She was standing in her usual spot by the door.

"Hello. It's nice to see you again."

"It's nice to see you too. Where's your beau today?" the lady asked, speaking about Malcolm.

"I don't know. I didn't call him. He asked me to... well, it doesn't matter. I guess he had something else to do today."

"I see, and your other friend? Did you ever find him?"

"My other friend? Oh, you mean, Qu? Yes, I found him. He was here today, in fact. I don't know where he went off to though. I thought he was mad at me, but then tonight he said... I don't know if I heard him right. In fact, he's said some really confusing things to me lately."

Realizing how much of her personal life she was spilling to a nice, but practical stranger, Tierra changed the subject.

"I'm sorry, Miss. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to spill all my drama on you."

"No, it's no problem young lady. We all need someone to listen to us at one time or another. Now if you don't mind my giving you my two cent..."

Tierra shrugged.

"I don't believe your friend, Qu was it, I don't think he is mad, not at you. It's a stronger emotion but not anger. He just doesn't know how to tell you, doesn't want to ruin your friendship," she explained, putting fans in a drawer.

"What? How do you know what he's thinking? Do you two talk about me or something?" she replied in a disturbed tone.

"Oh no, I can see it, though. You just have to look in that man's eyes," she moved to wipe off the counter. "You've seen it, you have, but you run from it. You've got to stop running before he turns and goes to someone else, or you make the mistake of giving yourself to one that's not meant for you," she placed her hand lightly on Tierra's arm.

Tierra thought she heard Qu call out her name from behind her and turned to look towards the sound of the voice. When she turned back around, the woman was gone.

"What? Where'd she go?" she asked aloud, as she looked back in the sanctuary for the woman or Qu, but there was no sign of either one. "Ok, that was beyond weird. I'm going to go home and get some sleep on that note."

The sun was shining and there was a pleasant breeze in the air. It was a Beautiful day after all.

## Please say it Ain't so!

It was about four in the morning when Tierra woke up calling out Qu's name... again. She had the same strange feeling she had several months ago. Creeping down her hallway, following a small quiet voice, she knew she wasn't crazy this time. When she reached the kitchen, she stood still, quiet as a mouse. Suddenly she thought she heard someone calling her name and quickly turned her head. Deja' vu.

"Whose there?" she called out this time. "This isn't funny."

"Tierra?"

"Abuela? When did you get here?"

"Just after you go to bed you mama say."

"Oh," Tierra looked nervously around the kitchen.

"Que pasa, mi amor?"

"No se', buela. I don't know what's wrong. I heard someone call my name, and I got up and came in here."

Just as Abuela was about to respond, Nicole walked into the kitchen, wrapping the belt around her robe.

"Is there a meeting in the kitchen and no one invited me?"

"No mom, I just... a few months ago I woke up screaming Qu's name. Then I thought I heard someone calling my name. Later that day Qu called me. I woke up a lil while ago thinking about Qu, and again I swore I heard someone call my name. But this time it was a low, quiet voice."

Nicole and her mother in-law looked at each other.

"What, I'm not crazy?"

"No one is saying you are baby," Nicole responded.

"Sit down, I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"The day your father passed, I was in the kitchen. About 20 minutes before the police rang our doorbell, I heard your father call out to me. I thought maybe he came home for lunch or something. But when I walked to the living room, there was no one."

"You never told me that."

"I only told your nana."

"So what, are you saying?"

Before she could respond there was a knock at the door.

"Who in the world..." Tierra asked.

"Sit down. I'll get it." Nicole said and walked off to the front door.

Barely discernable voices going back and forth came from the front hallway. Abuela was just about to go and see what was going on, when her daughter-in law returned to the kitchen. Her honey complexion was now more of a vanilla and she was void of emotion. Tierra looked at her mother and was instantly taken back to the day the police arrived and informed them that her father had passed away at his job.

"What's up baby?" Abuela asked, sensing something was wrong.

Shireece slowly rounded the corner and walked into the kitchen behind Tierra's mother, with a much more gruesome look on her face. Tierra stood up and looked back and forth between them.

"What is it!?" she demanded

"Tierra, you better sit down for this one," Shireece began.

"No!! What's going on?"

"Tierra... Peaches, do as they ask," her grandma interjected.

"No Abuela, I'm not sitting down until someone tells me why the two of them look like someone just died."

"Ok, calm down..." Shireece took a deep breath, "There's been an accident, Tierra."

"What? Shireece, is it Sean...?"

"No, not Sean... its Aquar..." Shireece began.

Before she could say another syllable Tierra demanded, "What do you mean Aquarian? Come on, what are you saying Shireece? Wait... wait... Shireece are you saying... no, he can't be!" before she could answer the room began to spin, and Tierra blacked out.

When she opened her eyes she was laying on the sofa. Her head hurt like hell. When she sat up her head felt like a clap of thunder had hit her. She suddenly remembered what she was told moments ago. Maybe it was dream, hopefully a really bad nightmare.

"MOM!" she yelled.

As the band of women walked into the living room, she could tell by their expressions that it was far from a nightmare. It was real! Her best friend, the PB to her Jelly, was hurt and seriously. Suddenly she thought... _I lost him_...

"Why him?!" she cried. "I just saw him last night at church. He hugged me after I... he said... I need to talk to him... he can't be gone."

"Wait Tierra... he's not gone baby," her mother said, hugging her, wiping the tears from her face. "Come on. Get up. We'll go to the hospital."

She sat in the back seat of Shireece's car, thoughts flooding her mind. Her hands trembled as she picked at her finger nails. She bit on the inside of her cheeks, while tears ran down her face. Just last week she was at JC's dancing in his arms. She thought about how many laughs they shared on the phone over the years. How they grew up side by side, and how he was the closest thing to a brother she had. Could it really be all over? What would she do without him? He had just lost someone. Now he was on the brink of...

"Tierra honey, we're here."

## A Test of faith

"How is he today, Doctor?" Mrs. Skeene asked quietly. She sat on a wooden cushioned chair next to the bed in the ICU of _Baystate Medical_... Two weeks ago she answered the one phone call that no parent wants to ever receive. Tierra was leaving the hospital to grab some fresh air, when she made the call. Luckily, if one can even say that, it wasn't to inform his parents that he was deceased, as Tierra had initially thought. She informed them though that their son was in critical condition and they needed to try to make their way to the airport and get to the hospital as soon as possible.

Two weeks ago, Qu was leaving a late night session at ViFlaa Entertainment. His group Fire & Ice had just wrapped up their vocals on their debut album, " _The MeltDown_ ". Everyone was excited and exhausted. The group offered Qu a ride home, but he told them he had already called for a taxi. When it arrived, Fire & Ice began to drive off as Qu walked across Main Street to his awaiting cab.

"Yo! STOP! THE CAR MAN...!" Justin, better known as Fire yelled.

"Why, come on man, I'm tired," Ian replied, reluctantly slowing the car down.

"Look in your mirror," Justin replied, not waiting for the car to come to a complete stop before he hopped out and ran back up the street.

"What the..." in the rear view mirror Ian could see Justin running back towards the taxi where they had just left Qu. The taxi driver was running down the street screaming and waving his hands wildly. Ian saw a car turn the corner, its tires screeching as it went. He made a U-Turn and pulled up behind the taxi. Nothing could have prepared him for what he was about to see, when he stepped out of his car.

"Ian... call Vito. Call him now!"

"Yo, what the fuck happened man?" Justin asked the taxi driver, when he came back.

"I couldn't get a license number," he began out of breath. "I only got the first two numbers."

"What happened?"

"Call 911," the taxi driver replied.

"I already did!" Justin informed him.

"Yo, man what happened?" Ian asked again, stepping up to the taxi driver.

"I don't know. I pulled up. Your friend, he began to walk over to me. I saw the lights and before he had a chance to move... I jumped in my skin. I never heard someone get hit. The sound of the car when it... it was the scariest thing I've ever seen or heard in my life," he said, his skin taking on a pale look.

"What... are you saying some asshole just ran down Qu and drove off?!"

"Yes, I didn't hear his brakes. The driver just hit him and kept going like they didn't know they hit anybody!"

Within five minutes an ambulance had arrived. Qu's heart had stopped but they were able to revive him. Luckily they were only minutes away from _Baystate Hospital_ and they sped away. One of the crew told Ian, it was serious and if he had family they should get them to the hospital right away. The police arrive in the midst of the ambulance drivers reviving Qu. They took the taxi drivers statement, and the two numbers he was able to remember off the license and description of the car. They also talked to Fire & Ice. Justin saw the car speed by them, which is why he looked in the rear view mirror. He saw the car slam into Qu's body and keep going. So his description of the car was better than that of the taxi drivers.

The police wouldn't allow Vito into the crime scene, which was pissing him off. He had arrived right after the police did, and there was already a mob forming so they tapped off the area. ViFlaa Entertainment was in the area of Main Street that was also the club district. So at this time of night there were a lot of people getting out of the various clubs in the area.

"Yo... I mean office can I go over there and talk to my man, before ya officers end up arresting him. He is best friends with Qu, the guy that was hit. He's also the owner of the studio we all just came from," Ian asked the officer that had taken their statements. He pointed over to where Vito was. Vito was yelling for the officers to let him go and trying to explain he knew the victim.

"Charlie," the officer yelled, "Let that one in."

"Thank you," Ian said to the officer as he and Justin walked over towards Vito and explained to him what had happened.

Vito called Sean, who told Shireece, who went downstairs to tell Tierra. Once they all arrived at the hospital, Vito informed them that the doctor said it didn't look good for him. He told them his heat had already given out once and he was no unconscious. After receiving conformation from the doctor as to Qu's condition, Tierra immediately went and called Mr. and Mrs. Skeene. Vito purchased their airfare into _Bradley International Airport_ and picked them up upon their arrival, the following afternoon. Mrs. Skeene and Tierra attentively sat by Qu's side every day since.

***

"It's a miracle he is doing as well as he is. I know that's not much news considering he has been unconscious since his arrival. But as fast as that car was going when it hit him..." Doctor Medcafe began, and then stopped. "Your son is a fighter. But I think you already know that. I just need to prepare you for the worse just in case."

Mrs. Skeene only nodded her head. She understood the longer her only son remained in his unconscious state, the worse his chances were. His right arm and leg were in a cast, and his bruises were almost faded. But, the I.V. in his arm that kept him hydrated and supplied his pain medication, as well as the monitors that constantly beeped in rhythm with his heart, were constant reminders of his critical condition.

"Once again you were there when Aquarian needed you," she said to Tierra, hugging her tightly.

"Excuse me?" Tierra asked the doctor as he walked out the room. "Can I talk to you?"

"I'll be right back," she said to Mrs. Skeene.

She followed the doctor out of the room and into the hallway, closing the door behind her.

"Yes, what can I do for you?"

"I need you to listen to me ok. I know you have to be all doctorish and speak of things with the certainty your medical profession insists that you do... but, there is no way Qu is going anywhere! You have your medicine, but that can only take him so far. The rest is up to God."

Doctor Medcafe was amazed by Tierra's confession and impressed with the conviction in which she spoke. "Ms. Rodriquez, I've seen a lot of miracles in my years as a doctor, but I have to be honest with you. Even with his vitals improving as they are, Mr. Skeene is far from being out of the woods. He still hasn't regained consciousness and unless he does, things are not looking good."

"Listen, we believe in a higher power. You use your powers to heal his body, and we'll enlist ours to do what you cannot," she assured him and walked back into the room where Qu's parents sat on either side of his bed. She closed the sliding glass door, readjusting the sign that was taped to it, while fixating on the doctor.

" _Quiet please, Family in Prayer_ ," it read.

Several weeks went by, and everyone slowly began to return to their lives. Vito had to return to the label. Sean had to return to work. Tierra tried to return to work. She called Mr. Baxwell and informed him of what happened. She would go into the office for a few of hours a couple of days a week. But she was no good. Eventually, Mr. Baxwell told her not to worry about the office, and that he would see to it that everything was taken care of. Shireece on the other hand had nothing to do all day, so she was a mainstay. It was a good thing too, because between Tierra and his wife, Mr. Baxwell welcomed the calmly presence of Shireece.

Each day the black and blue ting to his skin faded more and more. His breathing and vitals also began to improve. Then one day out of the blue he opened his eyes for a brief moment and smiled at Tierra. But when he tried to speak... he started to cough and... his heart stopped. Although once again they were able to revive him, he was now diminishing day by day. The doctor no longer had any hope for recovery and continued to tell the family to prepare for his end. But still Tierra stayed vigilant, and refused to falter in her faith that God would bring him through.

It had been a month since Qu was admitted into the hospital. In the past week his vitals slowly deteriorated. Tierra decided she needed to enlist the praying power of her church yet again. She and several members prayed hard for Qu and the other sick in the church. Pastor Norwalk asked God to do a wonderful work through their bodies, to show to the doctors that God was mightier than their medicine and pills could ever hope to be. She believed in her heart that God had heard the cries of the congregation and would surely heal her best friend soon.

When she left the church, there was a bright smile across her lips, and a good feeling in her heart. She knew that Qu would be Ok. As she walked out, a cool breeze blew by her. Before she knew it, she thought, ' _How will I get through this, if he doesn't make it?_ '

"Hello," she said into her cell phone.

"Hey, Baby Girl," Malcolm sang.

"Malcolm?"

"Yea, who else would it be? What's up?"

"Oh, nothing, I just left church. I thought maybe it was someone from the hospital."

"Oh. How is ya boy doing'?" he asked emotionless.

"I have faith. Everyone else is giving up hope, and I can't help them."

"What are the doctors saying?"

"They want us to begin to plan for... he's been unresponsive this whole time. They don't think he will make it."

"Really?"

"They are saying it's not looking good."

Malcolm and Tierra had barely spent any time together since he proposed to her close to 6 weeks ago, and especially since Qu was hospitalized. She spent all her time at his bed side. Malcolm wasn't liking the fact that he was taking second place to another man. Though he felt bad for the guy, Tierra was his woman, and he was upset she hadn't made any time for him.

"So, did you eat yet?"

"I haven't even been home in the past three days."

"What? Come on now baby, you've got to take care of yourself. I mean, I'm sure your friend wouldn't want you spending every moment by his side. Besides, if something happens someone will call you right?"

"I know. It's just..."

"And what about you and me?"

"Malcolm, I'm sorry. I know we haven't spent much time together. It's just... I mean, what if this was a good friend of yours? Wouldn't you be by their side?"

"Hell naw. I'd be with you. You would be who I'd want to be with, can't you see that? If I were hurting, I'd want to be with the one I love. Why, don't you want to be with me?"

"I didn't say that."

"Good. Then go home, and I'll meet you there. You can shower, change your clothes, and you can tell me what's going on with Qu. Then I'll drop you back off over there later, OK?"

She paused. She wanted to go right back to the hospital. What if the doctors were right and Qu slipped away while she was at home freshening up? But Malcolm was right too, she had been avoiding him since he proposed. Not that Qu being injured was good, but it did give her an excuse to focus on something else.

"OK," she said hesitantly, and hung up.

She called Shireece at the hospital to let her know she was going home to shower and change. She told her if anything happened... _anything_ to call her and she would be right back.

She hung up, sighed and had her driver take her home.

## Not Ready

"He is in really bad shape, Malcolm. I'm really scared," Tierra said, through tears, as she laid her head Malcolm's shoulder.

"I'm sure his family is pulling for him. He seems to have a lot of people by his side all the time," Malcolm responded, rolling his eyes safely out of the view of Tierra.

She could tell by his callous tone, that he was being insincere. She looked at him with disbelief. "Malcolm? Please tell me that you're not jealous of all the time I've been spending at the hospital?"

"Jealous? I definitely wouldn't say that. Malcolm Turner has never, and will never be jealous over any man. It's just that you haven't had any time for me lately, so what do you expect me to feel? When we do speak on the phone or see each other, you're not really there. You're always zoned off."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing? My best friend was hit by some jerk, who just ran into him and just drove off like he ran over a curb. He should have been dead, but by the grace of God he is holding on. And, my _man_ , the one I should be able to count on to be my strength, is jealous and mad because I haven't called him lately?"

"I said I'm not jea..."

Tierra stood to her feet, straight armed, palm flat, and fuming, "I'm exhausted, and my spirits are low. Somehow... somehow I find the strength to go into that room every day filled with joy and positivity. I pour all I have into his parents so they have something else to focus on," she strained every word as she spoke. "Why in the hell would you even... I mean... how can you be worried about the amount of time we spend together, the lack of my focus on _you_? This time isn't about you dammit! It's about my friend and the fact that he needs everyone he has in his corner, so he knows he has something to come back to," tears raced from her eyes down her cheeks, as she spoke. Her voice raised and octave slightly and her hands began to tremble. "If you were a real man Malcolm, you'd understand. You'd be supportive, and appreciative of a woman who doesn't turn her back on a friend in need. Hell, if you really loved me like you claim you do, you'd be at that hospital a day or two with me!"

"Hold up, so let me get this straight... I'm not a real man, because I want to spend more time with you? And, why would I go to the hospital to be near some guy I don't know? That doesn't even make any sense."

"You know what... forget it Malcolm. I can't help if my mind is on whether or not Qu is going to live or not, and whether I will ever get to look in his eyes again. He is the only man I ever trusted besides my father, and he is lying in a bed hooked up like a freaking science experiment. He is slipping away, and all my prayers aren't working. All you want is for me to give you my time?!" she picked up a vase off her living room table and threw it across the room. It crashed against the wall and slid down into a pile of scattered turquoise and orange pieces.

Malcolm was surprised and pissed by the violent behavior he had just witnessed. Who did she think she was? "Well, when you say it that way, yeah, it sounds bad. I know one thing though, that throwing glass and shit around is not going to work for me. I need more from you. I get it. You're hooked to this cat. But _we_ are supposed to be building something here, and we can't because you are emotionally wrapped up in this."

Tierra had enough she waved her hands in the air and walked out the room. The sound of the vase crashing had scared her tremendously. She didn't know she had that kind of anger inside of her and she was in no rush to see what else would happen if he kept pushing. She rushed towards the kitchen to grab a drink. Malcolm rushed to her side and took her hand in his. He wrapped her in his arms and lifted her to the center island.

"Ti listen," he began, brushing her hair out her face. "I just want to spend more time with you. I want to continue on the road we began," he smoothly stroked the side of her face with the back of his hand. "I asked you a question a little while back. I haven't pushed you on it, but..."

"Malcolm, with everything that has been going on I haven't even really thought on it. I'm sorry."

Malcolm took a step back from Tierra and raised his voice a little. "Do you feel anything for me at all? Because if you don't, I mean... it isn't fair for you to string me along like this."

"It's not that. Honestly, and don't laugh, but you are my first real relationship, boyfriend, man, whatever you want to call it. I'm not sure what I feel, or what I'm supposed to feel. It's been a little confusing and now with Qu..."

He was tired of hearing this man's name coming out of his woman's mouth. In the hospital or not, he was taking up too much of her time that was supposed to be spent on him! There was no way Malcolm Turner was going to lose a woman to a man in a hospital bed! He placed his finger to her lips, and with a sly smile he whispered.

"It's ok."

He kissed her gently on her cheek, leaned back and stared in her eyes for a minute. He took her face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers.

She was more than a bit surprise by his advance. But after a second or tow she allowed herself to kiss him back. Her body began to feel things it had never felt before, things she was afraid to feel. Malcolm lifted her from the countertop and carried her to her bedroom. He laid her on the bed, and leaned over her resuming his kiss.

"Malcolm," she whispered, as her body trembled beneath him.

"Shhhh... It's ok."

As they kissed, an eternity seemed to pass. Tierra wasn't sure what she was feeling was right, because it felt very uncomfortable. Part of her wanted to stop, but wasn't sure how, or if at this time she had the right to. In the midst of her confusion she felt Malcolm's hand slide under her shirt. His kisses became more intense and his breathing was heavier. Sensations exploded all over Tierra's body at his touch. Malcolm caressed her breasts through her bra, while continuing to kiss her. He smiled inside at the sound of soft moans releasing from her lips. But when he attempted to yank her bra trying to free her breasts, what should have been the beginning of a new and enjoyable experience, sent her back 10 years. It was the second time she was taken advantage of. She was college astudent and it was the first and last time she ever gave love a try. She went out on one date with a football player and after their evening ended she made her way back to her apartment. But she never made it, at least not the way she left. She never saw who her attacker was. He jumped her as she walked down the street, just a block from her college apartment. With nowhere to go and no one to hear her cries for help, again she was at the mercy of her attacker. And again she kept it quiet.

Lying on her bed, Tierra was suddenly caught between yesterday and today. She screamed for her attacker to get off of her. Overcome with fear, she tried desperately to push Malcolm off of her. When he resisted she slapped his face.

"Get off of me!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, still swinging.

Malcolm grabbed her hands and squeezed tightly. "What the hell...? Have you lost your damn mind?" he asked angrily, rubbing his cheek. He rolled over and off of Tierra, and sat up on the end of the bed.

He pulled her to him and forced her to sit up.

"What the hell is with you?! I don't get down like that Ti, don't put your hands on me!" he demanded.

Tierra was in a daze and remained quiet. She just sat on the bed zoned out.

"Did you hear me?" he repeated, squeezing her wrists harder.

"Huh, I'm sorry, Malcolm. I don't know what happened? I can't... I, I mean. Malcolm, please. You don't understand..."

"Tierra, I don't know what to think. But I'll tell you one thing, you got issues. I can't believe you'd lead me on. You let me kiss you; take you to your bedroom, lay you down, and then you hit me? What the fuck?! What kind of game are you playing?"

"Wait, wait!" she said snatching herself out of his grip. "What in the hell do you mean, I led you on? Really?! I don't remember asking to be kissed. I don't remember teasing you in any way. But you know what, if that's what you think... then you can just leave!"

"Tierra, whatever is wrong with you, I hope you get it together real soon before I lose my patience with you."

"GET OUT!" she snapped, standing and pointing towards the front door.

"Yeah aiight, just remember what I said," he snickered; grabbing his crotch. He leaned in to kiss her cheek as he passed her, but she turned her head, with a look of disgust on her face.

"Silly girl," he laughed and walked away.

As the door slowly closed and automatically locked behind him, she slid down on the floor in the hallway and soberly cried.

A few minutes later her phone began to ring. She sprang to her feet, wiped her face and ran down the hallway to the living room. Though she missed the call, she saw it Shireece's name on the caller id and immediately called her back.

"You need to drop what you're doing and come on in, ok," Shireece's voice was straightforward and emotionless, which told Tierra she was trying to not to make her nervous. She failed!

Tierra asked no questions and informed Shireece she would be there right away. She cursed herself for listening to Malcolm. She knew she should have returned to the hospital. But she was trying to be a good girlfriend and look where that got her. This was why love was not on her radar!

"If he's gone, I'll never forgive myself. I swear I'll kill Malcolm...!" she told herself as she grabbed her keys and headed out the door, praying for once, her driver listen to her and take the rest of the day off.

As she walked out the front door, she noticed Malcolm getting into his Limo and wondered what took him so long to leave the building. He paused and motioned for her to get in the car with him. She paid him no attention. She had called her driver as she walked to the elevator. He made her day by letting her know that he was just around the corner. As soon as she stepped out her building he was pulling up. She turned away from Malcolm and made her way over to her car and asked him to rush to her back to the hospital.

***

When Tierra stepped off the elevator, her mother and Shireece were standing in a room at the end of the hall reserved for visitors. Her Abuela was sitting in one of the cheaply padded chairs inside the room. Shireece turned towards her and stared blankly at her. When she approached Qu's room she paused, and took a deep breath, before she turned the corner and walked in. Dr. Medcafe was standing at the bedside, and a few nurses were tending to Qu. Tubes, I.V.'s and cords that were once distant memories were reattached to him, emitting slow and unsteady beeps that made Tierra's heart sink with every dull tone. His parents were standing by the window. Mr. Skeene wrapped his toned arms around his wife's cushiony waist, as she laid her head against his toned chest. Together they gazed gravely out the tinted window at the highway below, seemingly detached from the uncertainty around them.

"I'm sorry. I should have never left," she began, quietly. "I went to prayer. I thought..."

"It's ok, Tierra. It's out of our hands. It seems God has another plan for our baby. He's not going to make it through the night they said," Mrs. Skeene recited never turning to look at Tierra while she spoke. She rubbed her hand across her husband's fingers and inhaled deeply.

"No, God wouldn't take him from you. He can't! We all prayed, we sang, we shouted, and we... Pastor asked God to show them that he is mightier than their medicine. He'll come through. Don't give up, Mrs. Skeene," Tierra pleaded, walking over to her.

"Tierra!" Mr. Skeene scorned. "Don't get her all riled up again, please. The doctors say he'll be gone by morning. Give her some peace. She needs to face reality. You need to face it too," Mr. Skeene looked tenderly towards Tierra and reached out his hand to her as he spoke.

"NO, I believe my God will take care of him," she insisted turning away from him. She walked over to the foot of Qu's bed and looked lovingly at him. "My God can move mountains. It just takes faith. I won't stop praying till Qu stops breathing. As long as he breathes God can still hear him, he can heal him. I won't allow the devil to shake my faith!" she yelled as tears built up in her eyes.

"What are you all gawking at? Is he your latest science project, or what?" Chamani, Qu's little sister, screamed, walking in the room holding a can of ginger ale in her hand. She forced her way through three medical students that were standing a few feet from Qu's bed.

"Chamani? Hi. When did you get here?" Tierra asked, surprised to see her.

"I guess when you were at church," she replied, cutting her eyes coldly at the staff.

"I'm so sorry."

"He can't leave us Ti," she mumbled, embracing Tierra.

"Don't worry he isn't going anywhere."

"How do you know?"

"He's never broken a promise to me. He promised me years ago, he'd never scare me. Though this is more than a scare, I just have to believe he's holding on for a reason."

"What if it's like when Beautiful passed?" she began, paused, then pulled herself out of Tierra's embrace. "I'm sorry mom, I can't do this..." she pushed her way through the group of students she passed on her way in, down the hall and into the visitor's room.

Mrs. Skeene turned and wrapped her arms around her husband and broke down.

At the sound of the woman she considered her second mother's hysterical wail, Tierra lost it, "If you've all given up on Qu recovering, then come back when he's gone. Leave us alone," she forced herself between the same medical students Chamani had only a few moments earlier, and grilled Dr. Medcafe. By now the medical students were beyond nervous and turned to make their escape. But the seasoned Dr. Medcafe understood. He'd seen, and experienced, his share of upset and sometimes even violent family members. He smiled at Tierra and excused himself from the room and went to tend to the _green_ students.

Tierra sat in the lime green, badly padded chair between Qu's bed and the blinding white walls. Mrs. Skeene, wiped her eyes and sat in a chair on the other side of Qu's bed, both taking one of Qu's hands into theirs.

"Don't give up please! Come on, Butter Ball," she coached him, squeezing his hand, lifting it to her lips, kissing gently. "Don't you leave me, I need you," she whispered.

About thirty minutes later, Shireece, Chamani, Mrs. Rodriquez and Tierra's Abuela slid open the glass door and walked in the room. They observed Tierra and Mrs. Skeene holding Qu's hand, with their heads bowed. They rallied around him and joined in with silent prayers of their own. After a while Mr. Skeene conceded, and proceeded to pray for a miracle, resulting in his son's recovery.

"Please don't give up on him," Tierra pleaded. "He's been fighting all this time, how can we give up on him?"

Mrs. Rodriquez asked for strength. She knew in the event that Aquarian did indeed pass in the night, not only would she have to be there for her best friends the Skeene's, but her daughter would surely never recover. She was just beginning to heal from her past. Nicole was terrified that a loss like this might push her daughter over the edge.

Mrs. Skeene smiled as she looked up at her friends and her son's friends. She was never so glad to be surrounded by people she knew loved her family. She took her daughters' hand in her free one and pulled her close, smiling at her with her eyes. She tried to figure out how her family would deal with this loss.

She was overjoyed though that no matter what, Qu was able to re-connect with Tierra as he wanted to. Tierra indeed proved to be the strength she needed during this time. If it wasn't for Tierra, she knew she would have lost hope and given up on her son ever making it through a long time ago. She thanked God for Tierra's strength and prayed for a miracle, for everyone's sake.

## Ask and it Shall Be Given

The sun blazed brightly through the hospital room blinds. Tiny specks of dust shimmered in the light of the sun rays. The room was quiet except for the soft whimper of the monitor's attached to Qu. Orderly's pushing carts and voices over the intercom were vaguely heard inside the glass room. But everyone in the room was still, motionless.

Everyone... except for Qu, that is. Slowly his body became aware of its surroundings. His ears perked at the beeping of his heart. His skin itched at the laughable softness of the hospital blanket. His nose twitched, at the many scents. His body felt heavy, as he forced his eyes open. The doctors gave him until morning. They put a time stamp on his final breath. They assured his family it was time to prepare for goodbyes. He would be gone by mornings light.

That... was five days ago. Everyday Dr. Medcafe would wander in the room expecting to find Qu deceased and his family in mourning. Instead he was surprised to find a steadily improving patient. Qu was now the wonder-boy on the floor. All the nurses were buzzing as to whether or not it was the prayers and vigilance of _the feisty one_ , as they adorningly referred to Tierra that kept him hanging on.

Today was yet another morning, and this time Aquarian beat everyone awake. Though his eyes were barely adjusted to the light, he scanned his immediate vicinity. To his surprise he was in a hospital bed, and was obviously pretty banged up, yet was in little to no pain. But for some reason he was unable to move his hands. Terrified at what he was about to behold, he looked down at his hands. He breathed a sigh of relief when he discovered it was his mother that was keeping him from moving his hand. He saw his father curled up in a chair behind his mother. Shireece and Sean sat in an oversized, pull-out-type hospital chair next to his father. The moment he saw both Tierra's mother and Abuela, he realized he must have been in pretty bad shape.

When his eyes fully adjusted to the dimly lit room, he looked over to the other side of the room and noticed several pots of flowers sitting on a small table against the wall. Three balloon bouquets hovered barely in the corner behind the table. Realizing he had only figured out the issues with raising one of his hands, he snapped his head to his left side and noticed a head of brown curls resting a top of his hand...Tierra. He smiled inside and slowly slid his hand from under her. He pushed a strand of curls out of her face as he looked at her. Her hair was such a pretty, mangled mess of curls, he thought.

"Hey, chicken head," he whispered in a low, scratchy voice.

No response.

He rubbed the back of his hand across her cheek, and she slowly opened her eyes.

"Hey, chicken head." he repeated. "Who you calling a butter ball?" he added, confirming he heard some of the things she spoke to him while unconscious.

Tierra placed her hands on his face to make sure she was really seeing what she thought she was seeing. She rose to her feet slightly, leaned in close to him and whispered in his ear, "I thought I told you 18 years ago to never scare me like that again?"

Qu put his hand in a fist and made a circle motion over his chest.

"You're sorry? You wait till you are better!" she teased him, laughing slightly. "You're really going to be sorry."

Mrs. Skeene opened her eyes. The sound of Tierra's voice laughing confused her and she feared the worse had finally happened and Tierra was losing it. She was half right. Something did happen.

"Shhhh, he's just waking up," Tierra instructed her finger to her lips.

Mrs. Skeene looked down at her son and began to scream before punching her husband in the arm to wake him up. She leaned over and hugged her son intensely. The commotion awakened everyone in the room, and a sense of excitement came over the group.

"Doctor Medcafe to room 512 STAT! Doctor Medcafe to room 512 STAT!" a nurse called over the intercom after hearing the screams coming from the room, believing that the end had finally come for Wonder-Boy.

When Doctor Carmine Medcafe and his team rushed into room 51, everyone inside instantly became quiet and still. They all stood around Qu's bed blocking the doctor's view. Shireece smiled and moved to the side to allow the doctor a closer view of his patient. When he walked to the bed, Dr. Medcafe's face went blank. He looked around at everyone and stepped back.

Regaining his composure he approached the head of the bed, leaned in and listened to Qu's heart and breathing.

"Seems you like to make a grand entrance, Mr. Skeene."

Qu just smiled.

"I hope you know, you have friends with friends in high places," he said, looking up at Tierra, who was focused on Qu.

Qu nodded in agreement, looking around at his family and friends in the room.

"Well, we'll have to run some tests before I can say for sure you're out of the woods, Ok? But for sure it's a good thing that you are awake. So I'm going to go and set those up, and I'll send the nurse in to get some blood samples so we can see where your levels are and give you something to drink. I'm sure your throat is quite dry," Doctor Medcafe explained and shook Qu's hand. "Before knowing your physical status, let me just say congratulations. You have some people here who really care about you and one, who wouldn't give up on you, even when all the evidence said it was too late," he walked out the room, smiling towards Tierra.

Qu squeezed Tierra's hand, knowing without he meant her.

She took a deep breath, released and smiled back at Qu tossing him a playful wink.

After years of avoiding God, and blaming him for her hurts, she was surprised and pleased that she was able to find peace and remain faithful through this desperate situation. She never relinquished hope, even in the face of despair. She was positive Qu's end was not at hand.

There he was, her best friend, alive, awake, and sitting up... okay. So much had changed for her over the past weeks he had been asleep. But he was back now. She could finally ask him what he meant that night in her bedroom, about not letting her go. She couldn't figure out why she felt so funny being in his arms as they danced at JC's. She dared not tell him about what happened in her bedroom with Malcolm. Though she knew he didn't necessarily do anything wrong, she knew without a doubt Qu would be pissed off, just at the fact that Malcolm upset her. Right now though, she really just wanted to lay in the arms of the only man left alive that she completely trusted with her heart. She wanted to listen to his heartbeat and write a song to its rhythm. She yearned to watch his eyes open and close like the wings on a butterfly, and know it wasn't a dream. Qu was going to be ok, and she'd have forever now to spend with her best friend.

"Qu?"

He turned his head toward her.

"Thanks for coming back," she whispered softly and kissed him on the cheek.

He nodded and winked.

"Thank you," he whispered, then drifted back to sleep.

"Tierra," Mrs. Skeene softly said and nodded her head towards the door.

Tierra slid her hand out of Qu's and she and Mrs. Skeene walked to the other end of the room.

"Thank you so much. Qu fought, and he never quit trying to come back to us. No matter what the doctors said, you never gave up hope that he was coming back. I just wish I had the same..." she began and trailed off.

Tierra wrapped her arms around Mrs. Skeene. "It's ok. I am new to this whole faith thing. Believe me, it surprised me. But you know what? I think I just refused to let him go. He's all I have, the only man I completely trusted after daddy died. I'm not ready to let that go," she smiled.

"I thought you had a man in your life right now?"

Tierra was surprised for a moment by Mrs. Skeene's question, but then caught a glimpse of her mother squirming in her chair. She smiled at her mother and then turned her attention back to Qu's mother.

"You know, I guess I do, except I don't feel for him like, I thought I would. I mean, when I think of love, I think of you two, my mother and my father, even Shireece and Sean. The love I see in your eyes, I just don't feel that way," she admitted. In fact the only man, I can honestly say I love is Qu. Not in a husbandly kinda way, I guess, but I can tell that man anything, and he listens. He gets me, ya know? I don't feel like I have to perform around him. I can just be Tierra, the 'Beautiful Mess', as he calls me," she laughed."

"It's nice to hear you laugh Tierra."

"Yeah, it's nice to laugh."

"Do you not feel that way with this Malcolm character?"

"No."

"Well Tierra, I am glad my son is such an important part of your life. Trust me when I say he feels the same away about you. As for this other man, the only advice I can give you Sweetheart, is to pray. Pray that God's will is revealed to you, and please take it slow," she spoke softly and took Tierra's hand in hers. "I've seen too many young women give away parts of them, for fear of losing a man. Don't allow this man to influence you to do something you're not ready for. You can't take all decisions back. Trust your instincts. They won't let you down."

They embraced for several minutes, allowing tears to rain from them and wash away the preceding months anguish.

"What? He's awake? Why didn't you call me?" a shocked Chamani questioned.

"Sorry Chamani, it just happened. He woke us up just a while ago."

"But, no one called me, that's not right!"

"It wasn't intentional, I swear. I knew you'd be right back. He wasn't going anywhere."

"Hey, no arguing over there," Qu spoke. "Someone take a picture please, look at my three favorite ladies in the whole world."

"Oh really?" Chamani asked, walking over to her brother.

"Word."

"Word Qu... really? Dang your old!"

Everyone laughed.

"I'm glad your back big brother. I'd of been mad at you if you left me to deal with mom and dad all alone."

"Naw, don't worry I wouldn't do that to you. You still have graduation and college."

"Oh man, see, you only been awake what..."

"Thirty minutes."

"Thirty minutes. Thanks Tierra."

"No problem."

"And, you're already going on about college?"

"Where is the reset button on this machine? I think you need another nap."

"Oh you got jokes," Qu said reaching over pulling his sister to him, tickling her relentlessly.

"Stop, Stop! MOM!!!" she screamed through giggles.

"Arghhhh!" Qu screamed out suddenly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Chamani apologized.

"You want me to get the doctor?" his father asked.

"Naw, its ok dad. I'm good," he replied sliding his hand into his fathers as they embraced.

"I'm sorry daddy, I didn't mean..."

"Shhh, girl you ain't did nothing. That would be your rock head brother."

"We're glad you're back with us son. Now how about you put that stubbornness to the side and leave the wrestling alone until you get an OK from the doc, huh?"

He reached up and took hold of one of his sister's hands and looked at her. "You're lucky, daddy's here!" he teased her, and stuck his tongue out at her.

She smiled.

With Qu awake and seemingly ok, Nicole, Tierra's Abuela and Shireece exited the room and retreated back to the condo. Shireece went home to shower change clothes and inform her husband of the great news. Mother and daughter in-law, unable to convince Tierra to accompany them, took Chamani back to Tierra's condo for some breakfast and a shower as well. Mr. and Mrs. Skeene went to the cafeteria to retrieve a cup of New England's Best coffee and give their son a few moments with Tierra.

With everyone was gone, the duo seemed more like a couple on a blind date, than two friends who used to spend every waking moment in each other's presence. There was so much Qu wanted to say, to confess to Tierra, but was now the time? He had spent his whole life in the presence of this wonderful woman that he referred to as his best friend, his lil sis, one of the guys. The past year that he was in California, he missed her tremendously. When he came back to town, and showed up at her door, he knew what his feelings were the moment she listened to his fears, his pain and helped him through it. He saw her through new eyes. Then the evening in her condo when he helped pick out that black dress for her... when she emerged from the bathroom, it was official. His heart was hooked he was a man in love. But, he had no idea how to reveal to the woman he loved, that he loved her without tearing apart their friendship.

Now add to that, the fact that she remained by his bedside and was his biggest supporter through this ordeal, praying day and night for his recovery. He knew she cared for him, and he had no doubt he'd do the same if it were her lying in a hospital bed somewhere. But, he wondered, did she share any of the same feelings for him that he had for her.

When his parents returned, the duo were talking and laughing. His mother watched as her son gazed at Tierra. She knew those eyes. They were the same ones her husband used to look at her before when he first confessed his love. She saw what appeared to be a look of love returned in Tierra gaze. But, she wondered, 'if Tierra was in love with Aquarian, why did she accept the engagement ring from Malcolm, and where was it?'

Tierra's heart was pounding very hard as Qu held onto her hand and gazed into her eyes. Being caught in his gaze made her feel uneasy. All she could do was smile. She was stumbling over her words. How was it that this man could so easily turn her into a pile of goo? She felt like a little child confused about the big world around her. She was twenty-eight, but in his presence she felt like a new woman. So much was in her life right now was new and she had no idea what she was going to do.

She had a new position at work, a proposal to consider, and too many emotions to figure out. She couldn't wait till her next therapy session. She had a million questions, and this time she was going to demand some answers.

## Some Things Never Change.

It had been two weeks since Qu came back from the brink of death. He spent a total of nine weeks in the hospital, and today he was finally going home. He needed more physical therapy, and Dr. Medcafe gave him a list of things he would need in order for him to continue therapy at home. Upon his father securing a private nurse to tend to him at his home for four hours a day, and a physical therapist to come in three days a week for two hours to work with him on his mobility, Dr. Medcafe agreed to release him.

Tierra was on her way to his home to pick up some fresh clothes for his trip home. When she turned the key in his red front door she paused. She had never been to his house since he moved to town. Suddenly, she felt weird, awkward even.

"You're being silly, girl," she laughed inwardly, as she proceeded inside, closing the door behind her.

She shoved his keys in the front pocket of her black _Dereon_ skinny jeans as she looked around the house. It was so reflective of Qu, she thought, stylish yet masculine. He wasn't into grand, overstated items. There was a set of black _Portico_ sofa's, in a satin like fabric, with white, black and turquoise colored throw pillows in the center of the living room. A steel framed glass top coffee and two end tables flanked the sofas. While, polished steel table lamps with multi-colored shades adorned the end tables. Deep multi-colored curtains in tones that matched the throw pillows, and lamp shades, draped across the top of his huge window on silver toned curtain rod, ensuring the view of the city below was unrestricted. As Tierra stood in front of the window taking in the view, she remembered how he had commented on his view from his living room, being nice like his. Different views, but nice none-the-less, she thought.

She walked around a bit, and paused when she noticed what appeared to be his office. Allowing the cat inside her, curiosity, to get the best of her, she peeked inside. The walls were lined with black shelves that were packed with books of all genres. He was always an avid reader, ever since elementary school. No one had ever beaten him in the summer reading contests. He'd read about 50 books over the summer, easy. His tastes hadn't changed that much either. If anything, they had expanded. He still had his comic book collection, his _Manga_ books, books on drawing _Anime_ , fiction novels, and just about everyone one of the people he looked up to that had put out a book, he had it. He had all the books by his pastor from back home, and the books on the _Editing Couture_ suggested reading list lists. There were lots of books by self-published authors. It was obvious Qu still loved to read.

He had been drawing too. She noticed a sketch book on his desk, under a novel entitled _Vengeance Unleashed_... Once again curiosity got the better of her, and she flipped through a few pages.

"A thriller, huh? Well that's new," she said again to herself, after reading the back of the novel. There were several unfinished drawings of a woman who seemed very familiar, but because the art was so abstract, she couldn't put her finger on where she might know the woman in the photo from. He had drawings of his favorite super heroes and some _Dragon Ball Z_ characters, which made Tierra laugh. She couldn't believe he was still embedded into those shows after all this time. She remembered how he used to force her to watch them when she would visit him. She watched them so much, she found herself watching them when she was at her own house.

Qu was no doubt a talented brother. She was in the process of lifting a piece of material from an artist board near the window when she heard the door creak open behind her.

"Excuse me? Who are you?" a tiny voice asked.

Tierra turned to see a woman standing in the doorway with a phone in one hand, and fireplace poker in the other.

"You better speak up, or I'm calling the police. You put Mr. Skeene's things back," she demanded waving the poker, pushing the talk button on the cordless phone.

"WAIT, wait," Tierra pleaded, raising her hands up in the air. "Hold on, look, I have the keys. I'm not a stalker or a burglar," she ripped the keys from her pocket and jingled them in the air. "My name is Tierra Rodriquez. I'm a friend of..."

"Oh, Ms. Rodriquez, I'm sorry. Mrs. Skeene just called me and reminded me you were on your way. I'm so sorry. She didn't tell me that she gave you his keys. It's been so long since there has been anyone in the house except me. I guess I panicked when I heard you laughing," she realized she was still holding the fire poker in her hand, smiled and quickly moved it behind her back. "I am China, Mr. Skeen's housekeeper," she stuck out her other hand to shake Tierra's, but realized she was holding the phone in that hand, as the sound of the phone off the hook blared from it.

The ladies laughed.

"Whew girl, you scared me. I'm sorry I scared you. I have never been here before. I apologize, I guess my curiosity got the best of me," she explained, as she followed China out of the room.

"It's ok. Just... no one is allowed in this room. I don't even go in here. This is his private room," China said, closing the door behind them. "I prepared a bag for you. It's here in the hall," she pointed, walking down a short hallway outside of the den. She bent down and picked up a small black duffle bag at the bottom of a stairwell and handed it to Tierra.

"Again, I apologize for scaring you, China. Maybe we'll see each other again."

"I'm sure we will, Ms. Rodriquez," China said with a smile and closed the door as Tierra walked out. "She is more beautiful than Mr. Skeene said she was," she reflected.

***

"Ok, Mr. Skeene, let's not get a God complex either. I know you fought death and won, but I don't want my greatest comeback story end up with a tragic ending, OK?" Dr. Medcafe joked and then his smile disappeared and his tone became serious. "Please, keep up with your physical therapy. Let them do their job. Let the nurse take care of you. Listen to your body. When it's tired, please rest it. I don't want to admit you back in here, OK?"

"Sure thing, Doc," Qu reassured him, shaking his hand from his seat in the wheel chair.

"Take good care of him," Dr. Medcafe instructed Qu's parents.

"Oh we will, and thank you," Qu's mother smile, as she began to push her son out the hospital room.

"As for you little lady," Dr. Medcafe began, gently taking hold of Tierra arm and ushering her to the nurses' station. "I just wanted to say that I have never in all my years as a doctor seen anyone demonstrate the amount of strength, faith and love that you did. He's a lucky man to have you in his life."

"Well, he's been the closest thing I've had to a brother since we were little. He means the world to me."

"You mean you're not his wife?" he asked, even more impressed with her actions.

"Wife?" she laughed. "No, Butterball basically took over looking after me when my father died 18 years ago. We're just really good friends, family, ya know."

He shook her hand and looked in the direction of Qu, who was sitting in his wheelchair by the elevator watching their interaction like a hawk. He smiled, knowing what the look in Qu's eyes meant, and avoided the question he was about to ask Tierra.

"Take good care of him, as if I have to tell you that."

He watched Qu, his family, and Tierra entered the elevator. Dumbfounded by the fact that Tierra was just his friend and not his wife, he could only hope to be that lucky enough one day to find such a woman to share his life. He smiled, thinking how it was obvious she had no idea Qu was head over heels in love with her.

"I wonder how that'll turn out?" he said out loud.

"What? That's the kind of love dreams are made of," one of the nurses at the station remarked. "I wish my husband loved me like his wife does him."

"She's not his wife, their just good friends," he revealed.

Dr. Carmine Medcafe and the nurse both waved as the doors closed.

The Doctor and the Nurse just stood there for a moment, until his pager went off.

"Ok, back to work," he said, reaching for the phone.

## Pride... Frienemy

"Aquarian Skeene, you get up off your butt and stop moping around! Mrs. Skeene scolded her son, who was sitting in his wheelchair in front of a walker refusing to use it. "You came back from as close to death as I ever want to see you get. You have plenty to be thankful for. So stop being stubborn!"

"I'm not walking with no DAMN walker, mom!" he yelled at his mother, grabbing the metal walker in his hand and tossing it across the room.

"Oh really? You think you're all big and bad and you can curse at me now, huh?" she warned, poking him in the head with her index finger. "I know you might not feel all happy happy, joy joy, but you better watch your tone young man!"

Qu smiled on the inside, remembering the good ole days when his mother used to tell him to put on his happy face no matter what he felt like inside.

"I'm sorry Ma, but I can't do this. It's too hard. I might as well just buy one of those damn, I mean, one of these _contraptions_ with a motor," he banged on the wheelchair, making clear his intentions. "You and dad better get used to helping me change clothes, eat, shower and all that. I might as well just hire a live in nanny for myself!" he took a deep breath before continuing, "What woman in her right mind will want me now? _She_ won't want me," he finished in a whispered tone, hoping his mother didn't hear.

"First of all, your father and I don't have to get used to doing a dang thing!" she cursed.

Qu' looked up at his mother with disbelief and a wide grin. Dang, was as close to swearing as he ever heard his mother say. "Oooo Mom..."

"Don't you ooo mom me boy! We didn't raise a weak child. You'll get through this, or you'll be hiring that care-giver alright. And, I'll be there to make sure she's an ole' wrinkled face prune!" she teased with a big smile. "See if you like her giving you a full body sponge-bath. Second of all, who are you referring to, Aquarian? Is that what has you all upset son? You're worried about some girl, who you think won't accept you because of how you are today?" she questioned, and knelt down in front of her son taking his hand in hers. "Aquarian, if she won't accept you with the possibility of you never walking again, then son, she isn't who God has for you. I know that's not what you want to hear, but, whether you are walking or in this chair, you are still a Son of God and he wants _only_ the best for you!" she leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. "Now get your butt up!"

"Ouch! C'mon, really? Where is the compassion for the cripple?" Qu questioned, referring to the slap on the bad of his head, she delivered as she rose to her feet.

"Compassion? Boy, get your butt up!"

Qu looked up at his mom. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she wasn't playing. He reached out his hand towards the nurse who took hold of him by his left elbow. He grabbed the side of the walker that his mother placed back in front of him, with his right hand. It took all his will-power to pull himself to his feet. His legs hurt tremendously, and shook as he stood. As he began to take his first steps, his breathing intensified, but finally, there he was, upright. Now he just had to convince his feet to move across the floor.

"Don't stand in one place for too long, son. You have to keep it moving," Mrs. Skeene preached, speaking about more than his physical stance.

Moving his feet was the hardest thing he ever had to do thus far in his life, besides burying Beautiful. It felt like he was trying to pick up a 500 pound dumb bell with his foot. Slowly though, he began to feel his foot slide across his hardwood floor. It was only a few inches, but the nurse and his mother made such a big deal about it, that he tried again and again. Fifteen minutes later sweat poured from his face like he had just completed an hour on a treadmill, although he only slid his feet three feet across the floor. No big deal to the average person, but to someone who was in a coma for nearly nine weeks and was thought to never make it out of the hospital alive, it was everything.

Qu smiled and winked at his mom.

"Hey, Man!" a voice called out from behind everyone.

Mrs. Skeene turned around to see Vito and her daughter Chamani standing in the doorway behind them.

"I hope you don't mind, big brotha. I stopped at _Gus & Paul's_ on my way back from the plaza to grab me one of those Lemon bars you always talked about on the phone, and Vito was sitting there having lunch. We got to talking 'bout you..."

"So I offered her a ride home, so I could stop by and see for myself how my new business partner is doin'," he finished her sentence.

"It's cool."

"Thanks for bringing Chamani home Vito." Mrs. Skeene said politely.

"No problem," Vito said.

"Hello. How are you?" she asked.

"I'm good."

"That's good. Would you push his chair over here please?"

"Oh yeah, sure," he rolled the wheelchair over behind Qu and held it steady as the nurse and Mrs. Skeene helped him into it.

"What's up, V?" Qu said, lifting his hand over his head giving Vito dap.

"Nothing much Man, just came by to check out your progress. See if there was anything that you needed? Sorry I wasn't at the hospital all that much, man you know me and hospitals..."

"I'm cool, thanks. I know you were thinking about me. Never thought I'd be all excited over sliding my feet what... 3-4 feet," he looked at the floor, trying to figure out how far he had traveled. "How is business going? Sorry for leaving you hanging like this," Qu rolled his chair into his den, motioning for Vito to sit down in one of the black, leather upholstered chairs.

"Man, please. Did you purposely step in front of a drunk driver? Chill. I was solo before you showed up. I can handle it till you get back."

"Yeah I know. I just wish I could do something, man. Sitting here all day, trying to move my damn legs is driving me crazy!"

"Well, you have to get back on your feet; the White Ball is coming up Son! I need you there for that. I'm not trying to add no pressure to you, but if you have any rabbits left in your hat, being available for that night would be a trick I'd really appreciate. Even if you're in the chair, I just need your presence in the house."

"Damn, Dog! I forgot all about that!" he remarked and then grew quiet. He turned toward the window and looked out in a daze.

"What's up, Qu? I know that look."

"I was just wondering... have you talked to Tierra lately? I haven't talked to her in like 2 weeks. I don't want her to see me this way, so I've kind of been avoiding her calls."

"Man, are you bugging or what? That woman practically prayed you back to life! Why you dissing her?"

"Have you heard from her or not?" Qu snapped, sucking his teeth.

"Yeah, she's been making big moves over at Baxwell Enterprisez," Vito began and then paused. He wasn't sure if he should reveal the other news on Tierra and Malcolm.

"Uh Man, listen I have to tell you somethin'. I'd rather you hear it from me I guess, well actually, I'd rather not be the messenger. But I don't want you readin' 'bout it in no newspapa or magazine, or somethin'. I'm assuming that Sean hasn't told you either... so don't shoot the messenger aiight!"

"What's up man? You got me all nervous now.

"OK listen. The word is that shortly before your accident, hmm Malcolm, he... "

"He what? Spit it out Vito!"

"Aiight calm down dude... Malcolm popped the Big Question dawg!"

" _WHAT!_ " Qu yelled. If he could have stood he would have jumped out of his chair. Instead he pounded his fist on the arm of his wheelchair. "Damn!"

"With a freaking 5 carat solitaire no less. I ain't seen it, but ya know I got me a hunny over there in da office at B.E. and she told me 'bout it."

"He's not right for her."

"Oh really, he's not right for her? And, who is, you?" Vito laughed. "Come on, Qu. You my man and all, but you told me you don't even want her to see you, or to help you. If you love her so much, why you blocking?"

"Whatever Vito. What do you know about being in love anyway? You never have just one girl on your arm," he replied defensively, turning his chair around.

"Ya know what, you're right, I don't. But, I'll tell you what I don't do. I don't play no games with no one. Every chick I mess wit, knows the deal upfront. If they cool wit it, then we roll. If not, I'm on to the next. But I don't front man."

"Whatever!"

"Oh, and trust, I know what it takes to be in love. I just chose _not_ to fall in love right now," he announced. "And in case you're wondering, she ain't gave him no answer yet. I gotta bounce. I ain't mean to come by here and start no mess aiight."

"I know dog, we good." Qu, turned his chair back around to face Vito and offered his fist to seal the deal.

"Cool man, just think about what I said ok? If you love her like you say you do, why are you holding her at bay?"

"Thanks man, I will," he paused. ", and thanks for telling me about Ti."

Vito walked out the den, said goodbye to Mrs. Skeene and showed himself to the door.

Qu rolled over to the window. He sat there and looked out for a few minutes.

"MA!"

"Yes Aquarian, what is it?"

"I need your help mom, please. Don't tell me I'm crazy either. Go and catch Vito"

"Aquarian, what are you up to?" his mother asked, looking at him curiously.

"Hurry mom!"

She hurried off to catch Vito, catching him just before he it onto the elevator. Together, the two of them returned, sat down and listened as Aquarian told them his plan.

"You sure you can pull this off, man?" Vito asked.

"I hope so."

"I think it's a lovely idea, son."

"Thanks."

"Well, I'll get on the phone with your physical therapist and see if she is available for some over time."

"Tell her I'll pay her double to help me make this a reality."

"Hey, tell her I'll match what he pays her if it goes as well as he hopes," Vito chimed in.

Just as she turned to pick up the phone to call Regina, Aquarian took his mother by the hand and gently kissed it.

"Thanks, Mom."

"No problem."

## Caught... Shopping?

A few weeks had passed since Sean last saw Qu. He went to see him a few times after he arrived back home. But, the last time he visited his friend, Qu really laid into him. He was upset that Sean didn't tell him about Tierra. ' _How you not going to tell me Tierra was engaged to Malcolm?_ ' he complained, explaining that he was pissed he had to hear it from Vito. Sean and Qu were closer than he and Vito were, so he felt the news should have come from him. Actually, he felt it should have come from Tierra herself, and he was going to tell her that, as soon as allowed her to come and see him, that is.

Shireece told Sean that lately Qu seemed to have found a new lease on life and was quickly improving. He was no longer using the wheelchair or the walker and now only needed a cane for support. Since their last encounter Qu made many calls to Sean. He was trying to get him to wake up and see where hi marriage was headed, if he didn't pay more attention to his wife. After Sean told Qu, where to go, how to get there and offered to buy his one way ticket, he noticed some of the things Qu mentioned. He began to take a long hard look at his life, and marriage, and realized neither was what he envisioned them to be. Sure he had the money he always wanted, and was able to provide for his wife and mother the way he promised he would. But, unfortunately he was so blinded by success that he didn't realize he wasn't the husband he thought he was.

It was Friday afternoon, and Sean was on his way home from a business meeting at Markis Entertainment. He had finalized his last account before the White Ball coming up and wanted to surprise Shireece, but didn't know how. He wandered aimlessly around town and when he finally stopped, he was standing in front of Tigrez. Knowing it was one of Shireece's favorite boutiques, due to the many times the name showed up on his credit card statements, he went inside hoping to get some inspiration.

"Good afternoon Sir," a young man greeted Sean, as he walked in. "Can I... help you with something?"

"Naw, I'm cool, just looking right now. I'll let you know if I need anything," Sean replied, going towards the ladies' section.

Sean searched through several different racks on the main floor, but nothing spoke to him. He didn't want to get just anything, nothing too sexy and damn sure not to plain. It had to be _just_ right. Suddenly, he noticed the sales clerk seemed to be focusing his folding efforts on the items in his vicinity.

"Is there a problem here?"

"Oh no sir, no problem."

"You sure, because you seem to be sticking to me pretty closely."

"I'm sorry if you feel that way, sir. I'm just doing my job," the young man replied, resuming folding a stack of clothes that were obviously already folded.

Sean bit his tongue and remembered he was here to find something beautiful for his wonderful wife. He turned his search to another section of the store. Yet, after a few minutes, the same clerk was again, just steps away.

"You know, I was going to hold my tongue. I was going to allow you to be you. I was going to go on and just shop for my wife, but now I can't do that."

"Well, I'm sure there are plenty of other shops on the _other_ side of town that you would feel more comfortable in, sir," the man said in a very smug tone.

"Excuse me? What in the hell did you just say? My wife shops in here all the damn time. I thought I'd come in here and get her something since this is obviously her favorite place, but you know what? I think I'm out, and I don't think she will be coming here anymore either," Sean vented and started towards the front door.

"Yeah, whatever... your wife shops here, like you could afford to shop here!" the man said, under his breath. Unfortunately for him, not low enough.

Sean stopped dead in his tracks, hearing every word the young man said. He turned around slowly, and eyeballed the man as he walked back over to him.

"What the fuck did you say to me?"

"Nothing. Good day, Sir," he bobbed as he spoke.

"Oh, no, you get your damn manager out here right now!" Sean demanded, pointing sternly towards the floor.

The man quickly turned up his head and walked to the back of the store. He was mumbling under his breath about how he can't believe he has to do this. Voices could be heard arguing from the back. It seemed one of the other attendants on the floor, had observed the altercation and had already gone to alert the manager. The young clerk was not happy that he had been ratted out. A few moments later, Marques sashayed out from the behind a curtain, with a grin on his face.

"Good afternoon, sir. My name is Marques. I am the manager here. I understand there is a problem?" he said in a mild tone, hoping to keep the situation from getting out of control.

"You better believe your ass there is! First of all, let me just make this as plain and clear as I can..." he said pounding his fist into his hand. "A lot, and I mean a lot, of my money gets spent in this store. Not by me, but my wife who shops here religiously. Matter a fact, so do her girlfriends. I came in here to get some inspiration for a gift for her. But since you have employees that seem to think a _brotha_ can't afford to shop in here, and what was it you said, 'there are other shops on the _other_ side of town, was it... that I could shop at'! I don't think I'll be letting any of my money go to this shop anymore!" Sean stated matter-a-fact like.

"I'm sorry that you feel that way sir. I can assure you though that Cliff here does not speak for this establishment. This is not the way we do business. Can you please explain to me what exactly happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened; a black man walked in here, and was assumed to be a broke busta, maybe even a thief the way ya boy was all stuck up my ass. Why, because I'm wearing jeans and a pair of Tims and not an Armani suit. I was followed around the store like a common criminal. Wait till I tell Tierra what happened here," Sean said opening up his cell phone and pressing his speed dial for Tierra.

"Excuse me, sir. Did you say Ms. Tierra is a friend of yours?" Marques asked, surprised.

"You bet your ass she is. We got back to elementary school. Shireece is my wife, and I work for Bridget," Sean explained, wanting the manager to know just how deep he was with the women that shopped at this establishment. Just then Tierra answered her line.

"Hello, Sean, you there?" she asked. She could hear his voice in the background, but he had not yet acknowledged her.

"Yeah, Ti. What's good girl?" Sean started as Marques touched his arm, pleading with him to hang up.

"Hold on, Girl. Let me call you right back."

"Sir, listen I am so sorry for this employee's actions. Ms. Shireece and her friends are _personal_ clients of mine. I can assure you that the he will be dealt with swiftly. If you'll allow me the chance to make up this misunderstanding, I can promise you that you won't be disappointed!" Marques went on, walking away from Cliff. "Please, give us another chance. I can show you some things that Ms. Shireece was looking at the last time she was here," Marques said to Sean pointing to the upper level.

Sean paused for a minute. He thought and laughed to himself at how he was jealous over how Shireece raved always raved about her attendant at Tigrez. Marques this, and Marques that, how he always knew just what she'd like. Now he understood _why_ he was so good at his job. _I can't believe I was jealous over this guy_ , he thought smiling inside, "Yeah, Ok that will work I guess."

"Cliff!!" Marques yelled, causing Cliff to jump where he stood.

The young man walked over to where Marques was and observed Sean as he made his way to the upper level.

"Cliff, I don't think you know exactly what it is you've done. But, let me clear it up for you. You have insulted the husband of a very important client. That is unacceptable. We deal with people of all backgrounds and ethnicities in this establishment. If you are not capable of being professional and polite to everyone, whether they're wearing Armani', or in Tims, you need to find another position, outside this company! Either way you are suspended for a week!"

"You can't do that, my uncle owns this place!"

"I don't care whose nephew you are. I run this place and until your uncle is willing to come in here and run it himself, I make the rules in here. Now you need to leave right now."

"I'm calling my uncle."

"Call whoever you want. Just do it on the other side of the door." Marques walked away from Cliff and went to hopefully make amends for the damage he had done with Sean.

That night when Shireece arrived home she was surprised to find her husband had beaten her home. He had candles lit and dinner waiting for her on the dining room table when she walked in. He smiled as he walked towards her and took her bags from her, leading her to the dining room.

The look on her face was priceless. He loved it every minute of it. It was the first time, in a long time he had done anything this special for the woman he gave his last name to. He suddenly realized, how far off course he had strayed, and it made him pause.

"Shi, listen. Thanks to a swift kick in my back side by a good friend of ours, I've realized that I've been taking you, us for granted. You've provided me with a great home to come home to for many years, and what have I given you?"

"Sean, what's wrong with you? You've been a great husband. We have a great home, you take good care of me, your mom and..."

"...and that's all I do!" he interrupted her pulling her close to him. "Please let me finish. It's not going to be easy. Just be patient with me, ok. I promise, I am going to try to make more time for you, for us," he wrapped his arms around her, lifted her in his arms and gently kissed her lips.

Shireece was so shocked by his tone, his words, and then the kiss, so gentle and passionate. He hadn't kissed her like that in... well she couldn't remember how long it had been. She was left weak and dazed by it. He unzipped her sweater and removed it, tossing it over the back of a chair. He pulled it out for her and motioned for her to sit down.

"You haven't cooked for me in a long time."

"Yeah, I know."

She began to cry, noticing what he had prepared.

"What's wrong?"

"This is the first meal we had together, I can't believe you remembered."

"Me either, to be honest. Obviously, this romantic stuff is in me somewhere."

"Thank you."

"No, thank you."

That night Sean and Shireece laid in each other's arms reminiscent of their dating days. They talked about starting a family, though they had problems doing so in the past. Sean came up with the brilliant plan of getting in some practice.

"You know, just to be sure we are doing it right," he laughed then leaned over and turned off the light.

"You're a mess! But baby, I miss this side of you."

"Well he's back and here to stay... I promise."

## More Truth, More Questions

"You know it seems more and more like I'm just going in circles, like nothing is really getting accomplished or resolved. The moment I think I've have something under control or I know what I'm doing, BAM! I'm not any closer to an answer," she complained, sitting on the sofa in her therapist office.

"What answers are you looking for, Tierra?"

"About Malcolm, about how I feel for him. Shouldn't I know if I love someone enough to marry him? If it's wrong, why can't I just say bye and let him go?"

"Why do you think you can't let him go?"

"Because I don't like to fail, I guess. Everyone says I don't have to get it right the first time, but

I'm so used to getting things right every time. Why should a relationship be any different?"

"Tierra, a relationship isn't a boardroom. You can't go in it and say this is supposed to be like this, and that is supposed to be like that, and expect things to happen that way. A relationship only works when two people are compatible. You have to look out for each other, nurture each other, trust each other, and rely on each other. If you don't feel safe enough to tell Malcolm your secrets, maybe he isn't the right person for you."

"You mean about the rape? Why does he have to know about that?"

"Tierra, are you still having nightmares? Are you still uncomfortable in large groups, running off to catch your breath? What about what happened in your apartment?"

"What?"

"When he kissed you, you're reaction. I mean, granted his reaction sounded a bit less than understanding. But how do you expect him to react to your slapping him, when he doesn't know why you were so suddenly agitated? Have you even told him why you went off that way?"

Ti sat quietly. There was no way she was telling Malcolm about being raped, especially after what went down in her bedroom. She felt even more now, like maybe she made a big mistake going on even one date with him.

"I don't trust him with my past. That knowledge, I can see myself telling only one man, and he's not even taking my calls! Does that mean I don't really love him?"

"Well, what would you tell say, Chamani, that's Qu's baby sister's name right? What would you tell her, if she told you she could not open up to her boyfriend about something so monumental?"

"I guess, I'd tell her maybe she needed to rethink her relationship. If she didn't feel she could trust her man, maybe he wasn't the man for her. But... the only person I have ever totally trusted was my father, and he's deceased. The only other person... man I trust is Qu, and he and I well, we are too close to ever date. He's like a brother to me, definitely not a lover, or a husband."

"Why? Isn't that the best way for a relationship to begin, by being friends first? Didn't you say you felt a vibe coming from him before the accident?"

"Yeah, but it couldn't have anything to do with him liking me in that way. I mean, he just lost his fiancée in a tragic accident. He couldn't love me or anyone for that matter, so fast. What would that say about his love for Beautiful?"

"I don't know, Tierra. Maybe you should ask him about it."

The bell on the timer on the therapist table rang, signifying that her session was over. The therapist checked his date book and set another appointment for the following week.

"Ok, next time I see you, I will have made a decision on Malcolm, I promise." she said, standing and reaching for his hand.

"Good job."

She walked to the staircase of the old building and took a deep breath, wishing she'd remembered her sneakers. ' _I need a drink. This is too confusing_.' she thought. ' _Could Qu really_...?' "Naw, that's crazy," she said. Then thought about all the time she'd spent with him since his return to the city, how he's looked at her, what he said about not letting her get away. She remembered the look on his face as they had dinner at JC's, how she felt in his arms as they danced, then how she ached thinking she may never see or talk to him again, as he laid in that hospital bed.

She stepped outside the brick building and slid into her car. She was in such a fog she didn't hear the driver ask where she wanted to go. Silently she sat in the back seat of the car motionless. With no input from Tierra, the driver drove her home. When they arrived, Shireece was waiting for her in front of her door.

"Hey Shi, you looking for me?"

"Yeah girl, I wanted to talk to you," Shireece replied nervously.

"No problem. I've got to get a drink, though. You can talk while I drink, right?" Tierra said taking the keys from her purse, opening her condo door.

"Sure I can. But, I hate to see you drink alone, so pour me a glass too."

"Seems like we both have some serious things on our minds," Tierra sat her purse on the hallway table, as Shireece followed her into the kitchen. She reached into the frig and pulled out a bottle of _Barefoot, Mascato_ , while Shireece opened up the cabinet, and removed two wine goblets. The ladies scooted themselves onto the high back bar stools and Tierra poured them a glass of the wine.

"Ok, so you first...what's up?" Ti said, raising her glass to her lips, taking a sip.

Shireece rubbed her hands together before taking a large sip from her glass.

"Shi, you're really scaring me. Don't do this to me again. Is Qu ok?" she asked, placing her glass down and picking up the phone.

"Yeah, stop, put the phone down. Qu is fine. It's not him, it's me." Shireece took a deep breath, lifted her glass to her lips and swallowed the rest of the wine in her glass. "I feel like a horrible wife!"

"What, girl you're crazy."

"No, no. I am Ti. I'm a bad, bad wife!" she said and poured herself another glass of wine.

"What are you talking about Shi?"

"I'm out here thinking of how to cut a demo behind Sean's back, and he is trying to be a better husband."

"Where is this coming from?

"Girl the other evening I came home and he was already there. He had candles lit all over the house, slow music was playing and he remembered the first meal we shared and had prepared it."

"That's so sweet."

"Tell me about it. You know that man is never home, anymore."

"Ok so what's the problem?"

"I can't tell him, I want to cut a demo, and I feel like crap now for trying to do it secretly.

"Shi, you know I don't take sides, but you two are a mess. I know how much you love to sing. I told you when you asked me it was a crazy idea. I would have helped you though. I got your back for sure. If you think it's time to stop this then we will. You've been waiting for Sean to pay you attention. He is now, so that's good right?"

"Of course it's good Ti. It's just, ever since I sang at JC's and every minute since Qu was in the hospital, I've had this nagging thought. I don't want to live my life pretending I'm happy or die never really living. This is something I want more than children, and you know how much I want children."

"OK, Ok, Shi. So then what are you going to do?"

"I, I don't know."

Tierra sensed the anguish in Shireece voice. She reached over and embraced her tightly.

"Thanks for listening."

"No problem, that's what friends are for girl"

"Yeah, well ok your turn. What's your boggle?"

"Hmm, I don't think mine has such an easy answer. Malcolm asked me to hmmm, marry him, and..." she said reaching in her purse pulling out the solitaire he gave her.

"Wait, when did all this happen, and why didn't you tell me?" Shireece asked, taking a sip from her glass.

"He asked me just before Qu was hit. I couldn't even give him an answer him. There is just something that doesn't feel right. He's good to me and all, but..." she walked over to a drawer in the kitchen and pulled out the ring and showed Shireece. "I don't think I totally trust him. I can't even tell him about my rape... I mean." Tierra stopped short, realizing she had again spilled the beans. This time she hopped Shireece didn't hear her.

Shireece nearly spit out her wine, and dropped the ring.

"What did you just say?" she asked, juggling the rock trying to regain control of it. She sat it on the counter, wiped her mouth and turned to her friend. "What are you talking about, rape? Ti, when??"

"A long time ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you? Hell, I didn't tell anyone! Not until a few months ago. I told Abuela and she told mamma, and..."

"I knew there had to be a reason mama Rodriquez just showed up. I mean ya'll haven't spoken in years."

Tierra nodded silently.

"And the shrink, is that why you are seeing him?"

Again she nodded in agreement.

"Ti, I won't begin to pretend to know what you must be going through. I will say this, if you can't trust Malcolm with that knowledge, then Girl, you need to rethink what you feel for him."

"That's what the therapist said," she sighed deeply and placed her head down on the counter top.

"OK, so what are you going to do?"

"Take a bath, relax and really think this thing through."

"Hey, Shi, can I ask you a crazy question?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Do you think Qu is... what I mean to say is... would it be crazy for us to... after all, he just lost his fiancée," Ti rambled gulping down the last sip of her third glass of wine.

"Fiancée?" Shireece asked, confused. "What do you mean fiancée?"

"Beautiful. She was his fiancée?"

"No...she was his birth mother."

"His birth mother? When I asked him about it... he said he wasn't engaged but when he said she died, I just assumed that was what he meant. That was why he wasn't engaged."

"No girl, Mrs. Skeene told me at the hospital, Qu had been looking for his birth mother, and they finally found each other. They spent a few months getting to know each other when he was out in Cali. And well you know what happened at his parent's anniversary party. Well that's when Qu came here. He was going to bring Beautiful to meet you. Ti, don't you get it?"

"Get what? That I'm an idiot? How did I miss that? All this time I thought he was getting over losing his true love. I even asked him to tell me what it was like to be in love. I'm the biggest idiot."

"Ti, you're missing it still, Qu came here..."

Before show could finish her sentence there was a knock at the door.

"Hold that thought Shireece," Ti said as she walked to the door. There was a tall slender man standing at the door with a package in his hand.

"Hello?" Tierra said to no one. She opened her door and there was no one there. She stepped on something as she stepped out into the hallway to see if there was someone there. When she looked down there was a Jewel Case with a gold Cd inside of it.

"Who is it Tierra?" Shireece asked, wanting to finish her conversation with Tierra.

"I don't know, there was no one there. But this was outside my door." She flipped the case over to see if there was any information on it.

"Who is it from?"

"There isn't an address, a picture or anything," Tierra said opening the case and removing the cd. "Oh wait it says, "Watch this alone" on the CD.

"I wonder who it's from."

"I don't know. But I'm tired already of these secretive messages. Mr. Baxwell's envelope was enough for me." She paused wondering if the CD was something about the information she had discussed with him.

"Shireece, can we finish this conversation later. Actually, I need to watch this now."

"But I've got to tell you..."

"I know I know, Beautiful was his mother, I got it. We can finish the rest later. This is important," Tierra insisted, ushering Shireece to the door.

"Ok ok, damn. Listen, just don't make any decisions about Malcolm and that ring until I finish my story ok... promise?"

"Yeah yeah. I'll call you tomorrow."

She was barely listening to Shireece at this point. She closed the door behind her and slowly walked over to the table and picked up the CD. Removing the CD from its case she walked into the living room, hit the power button on her flat screen and slid the DVD into its place on the side on the TV. She took a step back and picked up the remote and pressed the play button. As the DVD began to play, she sat down on her sofa.

As she viewed the contents of the envelope, Tierra's eyes tripled in size, her face grew pale, and her hands began to shake.

"This can't be real? WHY?!"

## Walking Eyes Shut!

"Qu, it's me, Tierra. You know, your best friend since diapers and mashed peas. What's going on? I've called you every day this week, and you haven't returned any of my calls," she paused, took a deep breath, and continued, "Did I do something wrong? I really need to talk to you. Please meet me in an hour at JC's." she paused as if she expected there to be an answer. "PICK UP, damn it! I know you're there!" she screamed through the answering machine on Qu's phone. She was done with being avoided by him. Whenever she stopped by he would conveniently be out at a doctor appointment. She had it and was about one phone call away from busting his door down to blast him face to face. Her therapist though, told her to give him some space, as did her mom, so she was doing her best to respect his possible frame of mind.

After she hung up the phone she showered in record time and tossed on a pair of red Capri jeans, black slip one inch heels and a black strapless flowing shirt. She was determined to get to the bottom of everything today. At this point even Malcolm wasn't returning her phone calls. If someone didn't say something to her soon, she was going to burst from anxiety and frustration.

She snatched her keys, and purse, off the hall table and quickly vacated her condo. She hopped into her awaiting car and told the driver to head over to JC's. While they drove down I91-N towards Amherst, Tierra thought about what she was going to do if Qu didn't show up. She was actually more nervous though, of what she was going to say if he did show up.

When they pulled into the parking lot at JC's, it was packed as usual. The line was long and the music could be heard from outside. The valet opened the car door and helped Tierra out of her car and a big muscular man at the door ushered her right in.

"Good evening, Ms. Rodriquez," he said opening the door for her.

"Hello, thank you," she smiled at him.

A tall olive skinned woman with black hair and an inviting smile stood poised, behind a wooden hostess table. When Tierra entered the lounge she immediately pressed a button on her table notifying a waitress to come over. She then stepped from behind the table and greeted Tierra affectionately.

"Welcome back Ms. Rodriquez," she began, extending her hand.

"Hello Chamani, it's great to be back," Tierra responded accepting her hand and adding a cheek-to-cheek kiss to the young woman.

The waitress arrived and escorted Tierra to her usual table and handed her a menu.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes please, can you bring me a glass of water with some lemon until my guest arrives?"

"Sure thing," the waitress replied and disappeared.

She returned a short time later with the lemon water and placed it on the table just in front of Tierra. Tierra lifted the glass and slowly sipped from it while watching the entryway like a hawk for Qu to stroll in, her patience wearing thin with every minute.

"Did you see the size of the diamond on her ring? It's got to be like 10-carats," a voice said from the table next to where Tierra sat.

"He looks familiar, though. Isn't he that basketball player that got hurt his fourth year pro?" the woman's friend replied.

Tierra inconspicuously looked around, trying to see what couple they were referring to. ' _It couldn't be Malcolm that they were talking about_.' she thought to herself. But it's not like there was a lot of ex-ball players living in the New England area. He wouldn't be here not with another woman, would he? She ignored everyone who said that this guy wasn't for her. She tried so hard to make things work, to push her feelings to be where she thought they should be. If he was here with another woman, well, JC better call 911 in a hurry.

Across the room, she could see several patrons looking back, pointing and smiling towards a particular table. She noticed a woman and a man sitting in the booth where everyone was pointing. Overwhelmed by what she thought she was witnessing she blinked her eyes profusely, praying they were deceiving her. It couldn't be him. Was this why he wasn't returning her calls? He moved on? But why wouldn't he just tell her? Why do it secretively?

Before she knew it, she was up out of her seat and walking towards the couple, her movements trance like. It seemed like everyone simply moved out of her way as she glided through the crowd. Brownstone noticed Tierra in the crowd. She saw Malcolm when he entered the club earlier and prayed Tierra wouldn't show up when she noticed the mystery woman affectionately clutching onto his arm. She swiftly, yet inconspicuously turned her head to alert Roe to the goings on before them. When he looked in the direction she motioned, his eyes grew wide with anger. Unfortunately, they were powerless, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Unable to stop playing fore it would cause a scene and with no one around to notify of the impending massacre that was about to take place. They played on. Really, neither of them knew exactly what Tierra was going to do when she reached Malcolm's table, only what they would do if it were them. Brownstone looked around feverishly trying to make eye contact with a waitress, Jade, or anyone. Before she could grab anyone's attention though, Tierra suddenly stopped a few feet short of the table and stood there motionless.

While she stood statuesque, the past 4 months flashed through her mind. Her eyes narrowed, as she focused in on the elated couple, smiling. They were unaware of Tierra's presence. Not for long though.

"Tonight, it seems we have a special treat everyone!" she finally began, in a loud commanding tone. "It seems we are all blessed with the presence of the elite," she sarcastically said taking the last three steps toward Malcolm's table.

Malcolm's looked up and his jaw hit the table. His guest was sitting so close to him, she might as well be on his lap. Her arm wrapped around his elbow, smiling ear to ear.

"Who us?' she began, popping the gum in her mouth while she talked. "We just got engaged tonight," she announced, looking up towards Tierra, proudly lifting her hand, dangling her index finger to show off her ring. It was an exact duplicate of the one on Tierra's left hand.

Malcolm stood up and opened his mouth to speak, but the great Malcolm Turner for once... was speechless.

"Aren't you two a lovely couple?" Tierra lied, before his voice came back to him. "You just look so happy together. How long have you been together?" she inquired, wanting to know how long she had been deceived.

"Just a few weeks. But, my momma said when a man like my Malcolm here asks you to marry him, well, you don't think about it, you just do it." she said looking up at him.

Malcolm tried to regain control of the situation. He smiled at Tierra, who cut her eyes at him. He was nervous and it was showing. By now even his new fiancée was taking notice of the unspoken interaction between the two of them.

"What's your name, Honey?" Tierra asked the young.

"Um, Trina, Trina Little," she replied hesitantly.

"Ti, Ti listen, can we go outside and talk?" Malcolm started in a low tone.

Just then, Qu arrived and was making his way into JC's. The hostess escorted him to where she was seated Tierra earlier, but she wasn't there. Sean just happened to be with Qu, when he received the call from Tierra. It was at his insistence that Qu went to JC's to meet her. Jade made her way out from the kitchen, and on her way to say hello to Qu and Sean, when she noticed Brownstone trying desperately to get her attention. She turned to see what Brownstone was looking at and nudged the guys when she saw what the commotion was all about.

"OH!"

"MY!"

"What the Hell?" Qu finished everyone's thought. "Please tell me that is not Malcolm?"

"Ti, this isn't what it looks like," Malcolm finally tried to explain.

Trina looked up at him, confused, "What's going on, Malcolm?"

"Shut Up!" he demanded, silencing her. She immediately lowered her head.

"He can explain everyone..." Tierra again broadcasted to everyone. "Can't you Malcolm? Can you explain why you are sitting here with this chick, and why she's saying you just asked her to marry you? Can you explain that? I don't think so!" she paused, took a deep breath, cutting Malcolm off as he tried to speak again. "Can you explain why you told me to take my time, to make up my mind, why you told me that you loved me? I was taking care of my best friend you said you understood how important he was to me, Malcolm!"

"Hey, you were taking too long," he finally interjected.

"Too long?! How long did you wait Malcolm? I've called you, is it supposed to be my fault you haven't returned any of my calls. While I'm trying to figure things out, you, well, I can see what you've been doing... everything you promised you wouldn't."

"Ti, listen, you need to calm your lil ass, down!" he whispered in an even lower, yet aggressive tone.

"You know what? Everyone warned me that you were not the man for me, but I thought maybe if I just gave myself time, maybe I would learn to trust you. I wanted so much to tell you things that were going on inside of me. I wanted to tell you about my being raped, about how much I was hurting inside. I wanted you to know that falling in love was the scariest to me. But now, now I know why I couldn't tell you," she breathed deep and fought back the tears that were demanding attention. There was no way she was going to give him the satisfaction of seeing even one tear fall from her eyes.

"Here, take this back!" she struggled ripping the sparkling diamond solitaire off her finger. When she had it in hand, she flung it across the table. It bounced twice before it slid and landed in front of Trina, who picked it up. She immediately recognized that it looked exactly like the ring Malcolm had placed on her finger only moments ago. "Now your ring has a twin," Tierra said to Trina, who looked more confused than anything else comparing the two rings. "Ms. Trina Dear, you can have him! And have fun, because God didn't make any fool's here. You may fool me once, but brother, you won't fool me twice. Trust I won't shed one tear from these cinnamon eyes over your whack ass!"

Sean, Jade, and Qu all stood there mouth gaped open at the sound of Tierra's confession. Raped... by who... when and why didn't she tell anyone? No wonder she was so closed off, reserved. No wonder she didn't open up to new people easily. The wheels began to turn as they watched, and suddenly everything about Tierra, made sense. They decided they needed to get Tierra before she unwittingly revealed anymore of her personal secrets in the midst of the crowd. Especially since many of them had their cell phones out recording their YouTube video upload.

"Listen!" Malcolm demanded, grabbing Tierra's left arm, just as tight as the right. He grabbed her with such force that her whole body jerked forward.

Qu, who up until this moment, didn't realize Malcolm had his hands on Tierra, saw her body jerk forward, and knew at once there was more going on than what he could see. His pace quickened at that point.

"Stop making a scene! Raped? Is that the best lie you could come up with? More likely you pulled one of your little stunts like you tried with me. Hell, you're lucky I didn't take it from you... you freakin' tease! Why don't you take your ass home, and I'll call you later. " Malcolm responded irate grabbing her by the arm.

"Hey wait? What's going on here?" Trina asked, standing up pointing at the two of them.

"Sit down and shut-up I told you!" he said pushing Trina back into the booth.

"That's it!" Qu fumed forcing his way through the crowd.

"Malcolm let go of me! You're hurting me!" Tierra pleaded, trying to pull herself out of his grasp. "I don't want to talk to you later. I'm done! I've overcome far worse than the loss of a two timing _ex_ -baller," she mocked him.

"Ex-Baller? Bitch, I'm Malcolm Fucking Turner! Who in the hell are you?" he raised his hand to strike her.

"Brotha, you might want to rethink yourself," Qu warned, catching Malcolm's' wrist midair and tossing it out of Tierra's strike zone. "Now I know you heard the lady ask you to let her go. You need to do as she asked," he finished eyes locked on Malcolm.

"Nigga, why don't you mind your own damn business."

Sean and Jade stood behind Qu staring towards Malcolm. Malcolm looked around and noticed half the restaurant was also motionless, fixated on him. The other half had their cell phone out recording the whole scene.

He smiled. He looked at Qu and shook his head changing his tone. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the walking dead? I guess someone up above is actually looking out for your ass after all," Malcolm hissed. "The way I heard it, you shoulda been dead the way that car splashed you across Main Street."

"What the F..." Qu began balling his fist up by his side. Sean quickly stepped next to him and pulled on his arm, to calm him down, before things got physical.

"Yeah, fall back boy!"

"BOY?!"

"Dude seriously, you need to let go of Tierra's arm," Sean added, stepping in between Qu and Malcolm.

"Let her go baby," Trina pleaded, tugging on the bottom of his shirt.

"Listen to your fiancée, Malcolm. Let me go. You got your ring back, and you got someone quick to say yes to you, now let me go."

"Whatever yo! You ain't even worth the hassle. You ain't nothing but a damn tease anyway," he said, flinging Tierra's arm out of his grip. "Let's go, Trina!" he hollered yanking her out of the booth.

Tierra took a deep breath, and looked down at the floor. She avoided making eye contact with anyone. Feeling more than a little embarrassed, she rubbed her wrist, desperately desiring to escape the questions she knew were soon to come.

"You're not going to get away that easy, lil missy," Qu said stepping in her path.

Tierra could no longer hold back the tears that were building behind her eyes, yearning to stream down her face. They broke free and flowed down like a burst floodgate. How could she have been so blind? She hurt worse than she could have imagined she would. Thank God Qu showed up, she thought before realizing, ' _Qu is STANDING next to me_ !?'

"Qu, you're... you're walking?" she said wiping her face.

"Yeah, this wasn't how I imagined strolling in here, but..."

"I'm sorry. Maybe I should have just ignored them, and waited for you. But, I couldn't."

"I get it. I'm not mad at ya."

"Yeah, Tierra no one is mad at you girl," Jade said softly.

"That BASTARD was going to hit me! I mean how pathetic am I? I chose him."

"Tierra, it's not your fault. He's the jerk," Sean tried to add.

"Whatever. Listen, I'm sorry, but I have to go."

Qu tried to stop her again. He looked into the eyes of the woman he loved and longed to hold her in his arms and tell her it was going to be ok. He yearned to erase any memory of Malcolm from her mind. Most importantly he wanted to know who was responsible for raping her and when.

"Please, let me go Qu," he whispered looking down at his hand in hers. When he finally relinquished his hold on her hand, she picked up her head, wiped her face and quickly walked out.

"What just happened?" Qu asked, looking more stunned than anything else.

"Give her some time, baby," Jade said to Qu.

"Time, sure. I've got nothing but that now!"

"She's hurt. She's embarrassed. I'm sure she is even confused. It's going to take a little while."

"Yeah Man, come on. Let's have a drink and calm ourselves down." Sean suggested pushing Qu into the booth Malcolm just dragged Trina out of.

"Drinks are on the house!" Jade yelled to the still silent crowd. "Come on every one let's get back to the party."

## Just Me and My Whine

Tierra sat in her _Jacuzu_ fuming! She wanted to get drunk, sleep, wake up and do it all over again. She hated how Malcolm made her feel. Ever since she was ten she had only been this hurt one time. She never let anyone close enough to her to hurt her. The way she felt now, pissed her off. Malcolm had gotten too close to her wall and he caused damage. That was her job. She was the one that made men cringe. She had all the power. Now she felt powerless and she was not one bit happy about the feeling.

But, as long as she had a bottle of Mascato, she didn't have to feel a thing. She didn't have to deal, and she enjoyed her anonymity.

She spent the next several weeks going to work and home, home and work. She didn't open the blinds, didn't answer the phone, and went through many, many bottles of wine. She cried. She screamed. She threw things and cried some more. Her only rest was in her _Jacuzu_... She would have slept in there if she could figure out how to keep the water hot.

It was the middle of the week, around six in the evening. She just arrived home from B.E. and headed to the kitchen. She snatched her last bottle of wine out of the cooler below the countertop and made her way to her bedroom. Once inside she made a B-Line straight into the bathroom, turned on the water, and her Duets CD. She sat the already corked bottle on the vanity top and unzipped her black skirt, stepping out of it as it fell to the floor. She kicked her feet out of her black pumps, pulled her sheer stockings off the legs and slid the champagne colored camisole she wore off over her head, tossing it into the pile with her other clothing items. She yanked the bobby pins out of her hair allowing the tightly wound bun to unravel and fall down her back.

"Stupid!" she called out to her reflection, as she poured herself a glass and made her way to the Jacuzzi and sank into it. She submerged herself to her neck in the water, and bubbles. She promised herself she wouldn't shed a tear over Malcolm, yet she went through several boxes of Kleenex tissues and all the Butter Pecan ice cream in her freezer.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid! Everyone told me, everyone warned me. But no, I knew better. Now look at me!" she scolded herself. "Ahhh!" she screamed, smashing her hands in the water. The suds spilled out over the edge of the white Jacuzzi onto the tile floor below.

"You're going to pick all that water up!" Qu joked, standing outside the bathroom door. "I hope you don't think Brandon or I am going to do it?"

"What the hell are you doing here? Did you come to gloat or something?" she said, taking a sip from her glass. "How did you get in here anyway?"

"You should lock your doors if you don't want to be disturbed," he replied sarcastically. "Ti, you know that he's the jerk right? It's his loss, not yours."

"Qu, don't do that, OK? I don't need your pity. I'm a big girl. I can handle this on my own. No problems here, I'm fine."

There was only one way she was going to admit to Qu how badly she was hurting and that was over her dead body. She was never going to allow anyone to hurt her that way again.

"Girl!" he started, stepping closer to the door. "I don't care how much you act like you're this powerhouse and nothing can touch you. I know this hurts. You can lie to me all you want, but you can't lie to yourself. You deserve way better than what he did to you. There's a way to treat someone like you, and that's not it. You are a very special lady, Ti. Don't let what that jerk did... don't let his actions, have you retreat, and put your wall back up."

"Yeah, well, I guess you're the only one who thinks I'm special Qu. What do you care if my wall goes up or not anyway?" she said, taking another sip from her glass.

"What do you mean by that? I have always cared for you!" he replied angrily, offended by her words. "More than I knew, in fact," he looked inside the bathroom and could see from the reflection in the mirror, Ti was holding a wine glass. He also noticed several bottles of wine sitting around her Jacuzzi. All the candles that sat on the shelf above the Jacuzzi were replaced with glassed and empty bottles. Her hair was frizzed, messy. Though she said she was fine, she looked like she never stopped crying.

There was a silence that lasted a few minutes, but felt like a lifetime.

"Qu," Ti sighed.

"Yeah?"

"The past few months have all been a blur. Everything I thought was true has been false. Things I thought I was sure of, it turned out I didn't know anything at all. Now, I've had my first heart break. What am I going to do now? What's the encore to all of this?"

"Tierra, baby girl, for an encore, you need to show that you are still strong. You need to prove to yourself that this hasn't broken you. You are still a beautiful, strong, smart black woman. OK, so Malcolm was a one of those guys you prayed you'd never run into. But don't you give up. Maybe he was sent to distract you from the one God really has for you."

"You know, Sean, Shireece, Jade... in fact, I honestly don't think there was anyone who didn't tell me that this wasn't the man for me. I knew better though, and I just didn't listen," she said, lifting her glass to pour another drink.

"Ti, don't try to drink your feelings away. They will just be there waiting for you tomorrow and the next day until you deal with them,"

"Yeah, well lucky for me _Graham's_ never runs out of my brand," she smiled lifting the glass taking a sip.

Qu stormed into the bathroom, with the intention of taking the glass away from her. Unfortunately, in his state of mind, he somehow forgot she was in the Jacuzzi. There she sat, naked and drunk, with bubbles surrounding her caramel frame. For a moment he couldn't move or speak. It was years since he saw her naked, and even in college it never phased him. They were best friends, PB&J, but lately everything about Ti fazed him. She splashed water at him and he snapped out of his trance, snatched the bottle away from her and walked out the bathroom.

"Aquarian, you bring that back! You can't do that to me. I'm a grown ass woman you know! I can drink 20 bottles if I choose!" she screamed after him.

He paid her no attention, walked out of the bathroom, through her bedroom, down the hall and into the kitchen. There he poured what was left in the bottle down the kitchen drain.

Tierra jumped out the Jacuzzi in a blind rage and rushed after him. Just as she reached her bedroom door, Qu was on his way back in, empty handed.

"I love you," he said in a soft tone. He looked up at the ceiling, not sure how to react to her nakedness. "I'm not going to let you destroy yourself over that guy."

"Why are you staring at the ceiling? "

He rolled his eyes around in his head and pointed awkwardly at her naked body, then looked back up at the ceiling.

"Oh My..." she yelled and slammed the door. "You know, Qu, I never thought you would stoop so low. I don't need your pity and I definitely don't need some fake pitiful declaration of love either. I just need my bottle!"

"It's gone, Tierra. You don't need it."

"Are you serious?" she swung the door open, and breathed heavily as she stared at Qu. He was leaning his head up against the corner of her doorframe. He reached his hand out to her, but she swatted it away. "You know what... get out! Qu. GET OUT!!!" she screamed and slammed her hand against the wall.

He could see her body trembling as she screamed at him. She was beyond upset. Anger grew inside him that Malcolm had caused so much hurt to the woman he grew up with. The woman he secretly loved. Everyone part of him wanted to take her in his arms, hold her, and tell her it would be ok. He yearned to confess to her that he loved her and that his love was real, not pity. But as she walked away from him and opened her front door, he knew it was a lost cause. He could tell by the look in her eyes, the woman that she had just become over the past few months was dwindling away and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He rubbed his chin, turned and headed for the front door.

"I'll be here if you need me. Ti, you can count on me," he said in a low tone as he reached the door.

"Whatever, just go."

He did as she asked, and walked out the door, flinching at the sound of her door slamming behind him.

"Lord, please watch over Tierra. She knows not what she is doing right now. She's in a really bad place and I fear what she may do. Please heal her Father, please," Qu prayed as he walked away.

## Pride or Friendship

"So are we going to just sit and look at each other today?" the therapist questioned Tierra, who had been there almost twenty minutes, without saying more than two words. She called him to make an appointment, since it had been a few weeks since her last visit. She was still hiding out from everyone, after the big showdown at JC's. There was so much she wanted to say, but when she arrived at his office, she suddenly couldn't say anything.

"Something is obviously on your mind, or you wouldn't have called. So let's get into it before your time is over, shall we?"

"I suppose so."

"How has Aquarian's recovery been? We haven't talked about him in a while."

"Well, I'd say he's doing just fine. In fact, the last time I saw him he seemed to be quite well" she replied sarcastically.

"That doesn't sound like your last meeting was a good one?"

"Well, he was yelling at me."

The therapist was silent waiting for Tierra to fill in the rest of the details. She sighed deeply. She was embarrassed at her actions, and the last thing she wanted to do was tell this, stranger, all be it professional, what she had done.

"I was drinking. He showed up, came in my house without being invited, and had the gaul to take my wine bottle from me. I was doing just fine, drinking away my broken heart."

That news made the therapist pause and look up from his notepad, with a raised eyebrow.

"It seems Malcolm was the jerk everyone but me perceived him to be. Everyone saw it, why didn't i?" she asked once again reverting to raised legs tucked under the bottom on his sofa. "He was at JC's with some other woman and had apparently proposed to her. She was wearing the same ring he had given me. Who does that? What, does he have like a vault of 5-carat engagement rings? So, I called him on it, and before I knew it, he had his hands on me and was actually going to beat me down in the restaurant."

"WOW, that's interesting to say the least. I'm sorry you had to go through that," he said sincerely.

"Thank you. I was there because I had just left a message on Qu's machine telling his he better show up or I was breaking into his house. He'd been avoiding me ever since he left the hospital. Funny thing was, I was planning on asking him, if there was more to him and I than I knew, and then the Malcolm thing....,"

"So you didn't ask him anything?"

"Well, he must have seen Malcolm about to go Rambo on me and he caught him before he could connect his right, with my face. I was so embarrassed. I just walked, no, ran out of there, and went home. That was about almost three weeks ago."

"So when did he, Qu that is, yell at you?"

"I yelled at him first, to be totally honest. He came by to check on me. I was feeling so sorry for myself. He said he loved me. That's what set me off, I guess. I didn't want his pity. I yelled at him so badly, and told him to get out. I haven't talked to him since," she said all in one breath. She took in a deep breath, held it, squinted her eyes, and then waited for the therapist to give his response.

"So, you found out Malcolm wasn't as true as you thought him to be. You drowned your sorrows in a bottle of wine. Qu tried to help you, and you threw him out? Does that about cover it?" he asked, writing in his notebook.

"It was several bottles of wine! And he said he loved me, don't forget that. Oh, and I announced to the entire club that I was raped."

"Well that you definitely left out of your story. And you haven't called him to apologize, because...."

"I guess I'm too embarrassed. Sean, Jade, Qu, Malcolm hell a bunch of strangers now all know my dirty little secret."

"Tierra, do you really think that matters to Qu?"

"I don't know?"

"What's more important Tierra, your pride, or Aquarian's friendship?" The alarm beeped, and Tierra sighed with relief, she really didn't want to answer that question.

"Tierra," her therapist began, "don't wake up one day and realize you let more than a good friend get away because you were too embarrassed to admit you made some wrong choices. His showing up at your place says he is committed to you, even if just as a friend. His taking the wine from you, says you are special to him, and he cares about you. You said Shireece told you Beautiful wasn't his fiancée. Maybe it's more than time you find out who exactly she was to him, and what he really feels for you. Do it now, before he gives up and moves on."

Tierra smiled, made a new appointment and walked out his office. She thought about the therapist's words, _Pride or Friendship_ ? Before she knew it, she had her _Blackberry_ in her hand and pressed the #3 button, to dial Qu. She shook her head and closed the phone. She wasn't ready to face up to how she acted just yet. Besides, if Qu was such a good friend and cared about her _so_ much why hadn't he come back by to check on her since that day? She put the phone back in her purse.

"I guess for now its pride that wins."

"Where to, Miss?" her driver asked her, as he opened the door for her.

"Just drive."

I seek your Guidance

"Pastor Norwalk, I know I haven't been to service in a while, but I really need to talk to you. Do you have a minute?" Tierra asked her pastor, who was in the sanctuary getting thing prepared for a special nights service.

"Sure. You are a lifetime member, Tierra. Come sit." he smiled as he motioned for her to sit down next to him in one of the aisles. "What's going on? Your presence has been missed here."

"I've missed your messages as well. Things have just gotten way out of control for me, and I feel so lost," she admitted. "Last month I caught Malcolm, I guess, cheating? He proposed to me just before Aquarian was in that accident? But I guess while I was busy nursing Aquarian back to the land of the living, he moved on and actually proposed to someone else."

"I see."

"There was a huge altercation that almost ended on a violent note, and luckily Aquarian showed up, stepped in and saved the day. After that day I went into a depression or denial, or both, I don't know. But, I drank myself stupid every day. I haven't talked to my mom, my Abuela, or any of my friends since then. All I do is work and home. I was so rude to Qu when he came by my apartment to check on me. I don't know if I will ever be able to face him again."

"Tierra, you know God forgives you. All you have to do is go to him in prayer, confess, and repent."

"Pastor, not to cut you off, but I have. I know God forgives me, but what about man, my mom, Qu?"

"Tierra, man's heart is more complex. If you are truly loved by these people though, I am quite confident that you will be able to gain their trust and forgiveness. As with God though, you may need to first go to them and repent. That is, you must admit what you did, and ask their forgiveness."

"I thought you might say that."

"I'm sorry Tierra. There is no specific prayer for this, and you should address this one," Pastor Norwalk said, placing his hand on her shoulder. The young pastor finished by offering to pray for Tierra, after which she thanked him for his time and he went to continue with his preparation.

She sat on the pew, closed her eyes, and said her own prayer, asking for forgiveness of her recent actions. She asked that God grant her the strength to go to those she has wronged and seek forgiveness. When she finished she stood and turned to head up the aisle and noticed a familiar silhouette in the door frame. Taking a deep breath, she looked up, "Dag you just don't waste any time do you?"

"Umm, hello," she stuttered, looking down at the brown carpet.

"Hey," Qu replied.

"How, how you been?"

"Cool, and you?"

"Hanging in there. It's getting easier every day now," she said, playing with her fingers.

Qu smiled and began to walk past her, down the aisle.

"Qu, wait please... I'm so sorry," she paused and took a breath. "I acted like such a jerk. I was drunk and foolish and, well, quite the bit...," she paused, quickly putting her hand up to her mouth realizing she was about to swear in the church. She threw her hands up in the air, let out an aggressive breath and turned to leave.

Qu took her by the arm and smiled, "Ti, wait..."

"I don't expect your forgiveness, but I had to tell you I was sorry. You've been good to me my whole life. You've always looked out for me, been there for me when I needed you and... the way I... don't let me get over that easy. Please yell at me or something."

"Tierra there's no need for me to yell at you. I get it. Yelling at you isn't going to make it better for me or you," he placed his hand in hers. "Malcolm was your first real attempt at a relationship, and he betrayed you in the worst way. Maybe I should have given you a few more days or not thrown away your wine, but I just..."

She put her finger to his lips. "Qu, you don't have to apologize. You were right, and I was so wrong. I needed you at that moment, and as always, you were there. I'm sorry my pride wouldn't let me say that to you weeks ago," she gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for being a good friend, even when I wasn't," she whispered in his ear.

"Well, I have an appointment with Pastor Norwalk, so I have to go, but I will talk to you soon, okay?"

"Yea, sure OK," she said and turned towards the entry way. As she walked out the sanctuary she noticed the woman in white, who just smiled, as Tierra waved while walking out the front door. The sun blazed as she walked down the front stairs.

It was a new day.

***

"It seems I have a busy calendar today," Pastor Norwalk said to Qu as he sat down in a chair in the pastor's office.

"Huh?"

"Never mind, what can I do for you young man?"

"Um. I have a confession to make, and a question to ask you. I really need your guidance."

"OK"

"I think I'm in love and though this should be a great thing, I'm not sure what to do about it."

"Have you approached this young woman about how you feel?"

"No, and that's the problem. I am so close to this person, and she is going through some things that I think will make it very hard for her to accept this from me."

"Qu, are we talking about Tierra?"

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Well, I notice things. It's my job, son."

They both sat and talked about his feelings for Tierra. He told the pastor what he saw in the future for the two of them. He confessed why he feared telling her about his feelings, and asked what he could do.

"I think what it comes down to is that you have to figure out if it's worth possibly losing your friendship to you to tell her, or not."

"What do you mean?"

"Either you're willing to risk it all and confess your love, or you're willing to watch her eventually fall in love with someone else."

"NO WAY. I've been down that road. Granted Malcolm turned out to be a jerk, but I didn't know that from jump and it killed me to watch her with him."

"Then you have your answer Aquarian, and you know what you have to do. Now let's pray for your strength and the Lord's guidance."

## At Least I'll Be to Die For

"Open the door, Tierra Rodriquez! I know you're in there," Shireece yelled from the hallway, pounding on Tierra's condo door.

Tierra walked restlessly to her door. Just as she turned the lock, Shireece pushed her way in.

"Just what is your problem? You are not answering my calls, not opening the door. I haven't even seen you in the halls anymore, no one has. Tony said he's only seen you maybe once in the past month."

"What, so you have the doorman spying on me now?" Tierra accused, walking to the kitchen.

"Well, someone has to look out for you. Anyway that's not why I am here. Where is your dress?"

"What dress?"

"What dress...Hello?" Shireece said, lifting her garment bag. "Did you really intend on not going to Vito's Ball tonight. You know you can't do that."

"I can do whatever I want," she said, pointing at Shireece.

"Oh hell no you can't. Look it here lil miss thang. I don't care what that idiot of a man did, but there is no way you are going to turn your back on your oldest friend in the world, on his biggest night."

"What?"

"You heard me. Grow up! Get over it. You are not the first person to have a broken heart. Yeah ok, so your twenty eight, and just experiencing your first one, but so what? You have great friends that could have helped you get through it. But you won't allow us to. Instead you've drowned yourself in self-pity, and liquor. NICE."

"Shireece, stop yelling at me! Damn!"

"You know what? If you're not there, I will never forgive you, NEVER! Neither will Vito and you know it," she revealed before turning to walk out the door, slamming the door behind her.

Tierra jumped at the sound of the door. What was Shireece so upset over? It had nothing to do with her. She was married to her first love. What did she possibly know about a broken heart? But she was right about Vito though, they had been friends longer than even she and Qu were. How could she not go?

She walked down the hallway, stopping mid-way to look at her reflection in the mirror and was ashamed of herself. She was turning away those that only had her best interest at heart. Her mom and Abuela went back home just before all the drama went down, thank God. Other than the therapist though, she really hadn't talked to anyone about it in the past month.

Just then the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Oh My Goodness, you do know how to answer a phone after all." Vito said.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, whatever. All I know is you better be getting dressed for tonight."

"Vito, I'm not sure I'm ready for this," she said hesitantly. "I know this is your first big event, but..."

"Come on Ti, I really need _all_ my friends there tonight. I won't let you stay home. You have the outfit Qu sent you right? I'm sure you, Shi and Bridget went shopping, so you have choices. I'm sending a car around to get you in two hours. So get your ass in the shower and let's go!" Vito demanded and then quickly hung up the phone before she could decline.

"Vito, hello, VITO?" she looked at the receiver. "Damn it. Why did he do that? I know, I know, I have to go!" she said to herself in the mirror again. She dragged her feet across her hardwood floor into her bedroom and crossed over to her closet. She walked to the back of the closet and pulled out the white garment bag that contained the gown Qu and Beautiful had purchased for her. She also grabbed the one she bought on the shopping trip with Shireece and Bridget and laid them both across her bed.

She retreated into the bathroom, touting all her necessities; her makeup bag, body scrub, lotion, etc, turned on the shower and stepped in hoping to get her mind right. Forty-five minutes later she stepped out the bathroom, her hair flat ironed, make-up simple yet stunning her body wrapped in her favorite turquoise bath towel. Tierra walked to her bed and looked back and forth between the two dresses, adjusting them, trying to choose her damage for the night. Though she really wasn't in a damage causing mood, she had no choice but to keep with the tradition. The trio called their outfits' damage, because they picked them according to how much of a scene they wanted to cause. Tierra had already tried the one on that she bought with her girl pack. It was gorgeous on her, but she never tried on the one Qu brought, so she opted to try it on.

When she spun around in the mirror she knew she had a winner. The way it hugged her body was like someone stole her measurements and had it made especially for every one of her curves.

"How did she know?"

When the elevator doors opened on the lobby, the lobby floor, everyone paused. Tony the doorman stood quiet for the first time since he worked there. All eyes were on Tierra as she sashayed through the lobby towards the main door.

"I hope this isn't out of line, Ms. Rodriquez," Tony began, "but you look, beyond gorgeous tonight!" he held open the door to the building, and then rushed ahead of Tierra to grab the limo door. He held her hand as she slid into the back.

"Thank you, Tony. You are very sweet," she smiled at him, as he closed the door.

Time to Pay the Piper

Anyone, and everyone, happened to be in attendance for the White Ball. Limos blocked traffic for almost a mile back. Police in cruisers and on horseback were everywhere. The ambience from the _Renaissance_ could be scene from I-91. It was lit up like they were expecting the president or someone of great importance. There were searchlights flashing from the grounds, and mounds of hungry TV, newspaper and magazine reps, flashing pictures everywhere.

Tierra was all appearances. Since this was the White Ball she would have gone all out and requested the White on White Excursion Limo, complete with a driver dressed in white, wearing white gloves and hat. Vito was on point, though. The interior of the limo was white and the Limo itself was white. It wasn't an Excursion, but it was a stretch Lexus. Now how could that be wrong? No more watching the limo's go by, now she could have whichever one she wanted when she wanted it.

When the limo driver opened the door, the valet paused, stunned. He reached his hand out to Tierra to assist her out of the vehicle. Once she stepped out, paparazzi went crazy. The outfit Qu and Beautiful picked out was a shimmering liquid white dress with a high neck and deep plunging back line. It hugged her body to her hips then it flared out and draped onto the floor. It fit Tierra like it was made especially for her. Every curve on her perfectly toned body was caressed by the material. Her feet were adorned with a simple pair of matching white shimmering pumps. On her neck was a multi-strand long pearl necklace that was knotted in the middle. Matching dangling pearl earrings, a three row pearl bracelet with gold accents, a white and gold clutch and champagne colored faux fur wrap finished her ensemble. Her hair thankfully hadn't begun to curl up in the night air and was still bone straight. Her light applied make-up was brilliant and allowed her cinnamon eyes to jump out at you, demanding you to take notice. She had just enough color in her lips to notice, and enough gloss to make them kissable.

Tierra graciously smiled and waved at the photographers as she walked up the white rose petal lined pathway. Ahead of her was a grand staircase, which led to the main entrance. There were several attendants standing near the foot of the staircase to escort guests up the staircase. Tierra felt like _Cinderella_ as she was escorted up and thought how Vito had really out done himself. When she reached the top of the staircase a young man opened the glass double doors and she was directed towards the host, who stood at a podium with a large staff in his hand. He banged the large wooden pole, twice against the marble floor and announced her arrival to the rest of those in attendance. Everyone stopped at the sound and looked in the direction of the stairs as Tierra started down them, escorted by yet another young and handsome attendant. ' _This is too much_ ,' she thought to herself looking around the room.

"Girl, you've out done yourself this time!" Bridget said, hugging Tierra with one hand while holding a glass of champagne in the other.

"Talk about me, I think you're going to give me a run for my money this time," she replied in reference to Bridget's apparel. Bridget was wearing a white strapless gown. Hers had a deep dip in the front that curved down and around her waist and down to her right thigh. Rhinestones on a shimmering thread crisscrossed the sheer material that covered the opening. She wore matching white, pink, and yellow, five-inch open toed strapped heels on her feet. Around her neck was a thick diamond choker with a large pink heart shaped stone in the middle of it. Pink heart earrings dangled from her ears and the only ring she wore ever, was her 10-carat wedding ring set.

"Girl, you need a personal body guard. You're like a million dollars walking around in here," Tierra said, especially admiring Bridget's choker.

"Please, this is Markis we're talking about. You know he has some of his people in here. I never know who they are," Bridget said, scanning the crowd.

"Mr. & Mrs. Sean Willis," announced the host from the top of the staircase.

Sean, with the most debonair smile on his face, proudly escorted his wife Shireece, who by the way was dressed captivatingly beautiful, down the staircase. He gritted his teeth, as several men brazenly locked eyes on her as they stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of her. His smile was from ear to ear as they reached the main floor and were greeted by several of his business associates.

After some introductions of Shireece, Sean was waved over by his employer Mr. Markis. With a small crowd gathered around Mr. Markis sensed his wife reluctance to be put on display and he escorted her over to her best friends.

"Gurrrl, that dress looks amazing on her," Tierra and Bridget simultaneously uttered, as the Willis duo walked their way.

"Ladies..." Sean addressed them, "you all look lovely tonight."

"Thank you. You clean up well, too," Tierra said as she walked around Sean, brushing off his lapel.

"I know, doesn't he?" Shireece replied, kissing Sean on the cheek before he walked off.

"Wait Sean, I need to say something before you leave, ok?" Tierra said, grabbing him by the arm.

"Listen, I think I speak for everyone here when I say we love you Tierra Rodriquez and there is nothing you need to say. We understand. We've all been down that road before. We gave you your space and never gave your spot on the team away."

"Tierra, you are our girl, no matter what goes down. We blood without being blood, so don't even go there, ok," Shireece said with a wink.

"Thanks, OK? I'm really sorry I was such a jerk and..."

"Ok, ok enough of all this!" Sean insisted. "I'm not driving anyone back home to fix no faces or change their clothes, so just stop that emotional stuff right now Tierra."

She smiled, and the group shared a quiet hug before Sean walked off to join Mr. Markis and allow the ladies their private time.

"Girl, you look terrific; that dress was the best pick after all!" Bridget said, looking her up and down before giving the thumbs up.

"I really didn't think I could pull it off. You know this style is a big change for me, but when I saw Sean's face... you should have seen him when I got out the limo. I made him ride with Qu and I took our Limo, solo. When the driver opened the door and Sean came over to help me, his mouth dropped. He just stood there for like 5 minutes speechless," Shireece said, beaming like a Christmas tree light. Shireece was usually the most modestly dressed of the trio. Tonight though she wore a short mini, white spaghetti strapped dress with a sequined bodice. The dress was so unlike her, it was no doubt the reason Sean was speechless. Shireece never, ever wore a dress that was above her knees. This dress stopped mid-thigh.

"So you ready to do this?" Bridget said quietly, poking Shireece's side.

"Heck yeah! I've come this far, no turning back now."

"Ready to do what? What's going on you two?" Tierra asked looking at the two ladies knowing something was up.

"You'll see," they said, smiling mischievously.

"Uh huh, I don't think I like what I'm seeing here. You two are up to something. I know it better not be no hook up. I'm not even playing."

The trio laughed, remembering the last time they tried to surprise Tierra with a hook up.

They all mingled and made their usual business rounds. Shireece, stuck to Bridget's coat tails tonight for reasons unknown to Tierra. Though Tierra, noticed and it consumed her. The only thing that seemed able to break her mind from wondering what her friends were up to, was her mind going back to Shireece's story and where she said Sean arrived with Qu. That meant Qu was in the building somewhere.

"Excuse me, Gentlemen," she said. "There is someone I have to talk to."

She noticed Vito, standing across the room at the bar and wanted to thank him for his extra special invite. More importantly she wanted to thank him for insisting she come out tonight.

"Vito?" she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Damn baby girl! Look at you," he said, taking her by the hand and spinning her around. " _If I would have known the girl next door would have been you_ ," he sang, reminiscent of the _Music Soulchild_ song.

"You crazy, V. How's business? What's been going on?"

"Well look around, business is great. I successfully pulled off ViFlaas' first annual White Ball. I'm so pleased with this great turn out. I mean all the heavy hitters are here. But, where are my manners, how are you?" he licked his lips as he asked that last line.

"I'm better, thanks for asking."

"Wait till Qu gets a look at you!" he was smiling hard, while rubbing his hands together, and bobbing his head up and down. "Yup, just wait till he sees you."

"What does that mean? He's coming out? Is he up for something this big so soon?"

"Qu is a grown-ass man. If he wants to come, I am not going to try to stop him. You know how he gets if you try to tell him what to do. He's part of ViFlaa now; he said it's his duty to be here. I told him I'd be fine. It's just a party, no big speeches, but he said he'd be here," he lied, not mentioning how he begged Qu' to try and get well enough to make it tonight. He also didn't mention the plan Qu had in motion for tonight. Vito shook hands with several artists as they walked by them, before continuing. "Besides, it's been like a month, Ti. How long you think the man needs to be incognito?"

Before she was able to answer his question, Bridget came up behind her and placed her hands on her shoulders. "Vito, can I borrow Ti please? They're seating us."

"No problem. I've got to go and take care of a few things anyway. Talk to you later sexy," Vito kissed Ti on the cheek before walking down the hall.

"By the way," he yelled, "thank you for coming!"

"Come on. We are all seated together," Bridget said, leading Tierra to a table close to the front of the Banquet room.

The Banquet hall area was decorated elegantly, with white linen tablecloths, matching white chair covers and cloth napkins. Each table had all kinds of white flowers in huge gold tinted vases as centerpieces. Tierra looked around the room, and noticed lights strung up all over the ceiling that added to the intimate feel of the room. All the staff members were dressed in black, which made them stand out from the guests. Each place setting had a white card lined in 24K Gold with your name written in gold and the words " _ViFlaa Entertainment_ " in red across the bottom. An extra card with the word _RESERVED_ written on it was at several tables near the front. There was one on the table Bridget led Tierra over to. _Guest of Honor_ , instead of a name was at the place setting Bridget sat Ti down to.

"What's this?" she asked, picking up the card.

"You'll see. Sit down. They're beginning."

Tierra scanned the table for a visual sign from those seated as to what was going on, but all eyes were on the stage. No one was giving up any info. There was an empty seat which she assumed was for Qu and again she scanned the room again for him, but he too was nowhere to be found. She sighed lightly with relief and joined the rest of her tablemates and focused her attention on the stage.

## Welcome to the White Ball

"Welcome friends, to ViFlaa Entertainment's First Annual White Ball. Thank you very much for coming out," a tall, curvy woman, dressed in a white one shoulder dress, said from the stage. She continued to speak to the crowd, making jokes here and there keeping the crowd entertained and then introduced another gentleman, and handing him the microphone. The distinguishably dressed man gave a little history on ViFlaa, Vito and the event. He mentioned some of the acts that ViFlaa represented, and each of them stood for a brief moment, when their names were called. He thanked the sponsors for their sponsorship as well as everyone who worked hard at making the night such a great success. Then, he introduced Vito.

"Now without further ado, the man we are all here for... Please stand to your feet and help me welcome my friend and yours, ViFlaa's man in charge and CEO, Justis "Vito" Flagger

With everyone standing to their feet in a thunderous applause, the man of the hour strolled out on stage surrounded by about a dozen gorgeous women in very short white dresses. How else would Vito make his entrance? The women all kissed him on the cheek and then stood back as he shook hands with the MC, and they embraced, as men do. The MC then handed Vito the Mic, and exited the stage. Vito then stood center stage, fully enjoying the moment.

"Please, please, everyone sit down," he began finally. "Thank you, thank you. I am so very glad you all are here tonight. I was afraid I was going to have to eat all this food myself," he joked, getting a mild laugh from the audience. He spoke a few minutes about how he was thankful for his blessings, and how hard it was to change from a stubborn knuckled little boy to the man he now was.

"Since this industry is such a kick-ass type, and our best reps barely get any recognition, we at ViFlaa, together with other MM&E companies in the area, came together a few years ago and devised a system to reward those of you for your excellence. Today at our White Ball I'm very honored to be able to announce the first winner of the MM&E Award of Excellence," the crowd clapped and looked around the room, surprised at his announcement.

"The award this year goes to a person who has surpassed the limits and the boundaries set by others in the field. This is a person who no matter how high you raise the bar they will far exceed it. This year it goes to a person who never let their last account set their personal record, but who strived to beat their own personal best, time and time again. In this industry you are very easily here today and gone tomorrow, there is no real shelf life on your time at any given label or company. This year's recipient not only out lasted many others in their own firm, but has caught the attention of many other firms. Their unwavering attention to detail, professionalism, positive outlook, and happy clients made this person an easy shoe in for this award. I'm certain that you all have an idea of with whom we speak. She came into the game as a magazine reporter and quickly worked her way up the ladder, staying in the game for well over 6 years. Tonight actually marks her 4th year at Baxwell Enterprisez, where she now holds the title of interim CEO."

It was obvious who Vito was speaking of, and everyone turned their attention to her. Tierra Rodriquez. To her surprise, as she looked around, she felt embarrassed. Yet, as her eyes met with those of her male colleagues from Baxwell Enterprisez, although she assumed she'd find anger looking back at her, instead their expressions were not one of anger, but soothing, as they smiled at her.

This was so totally unexpected, no wonder Vito was so adamant about her attending, she thought to herself.

"Where is Shireece?" she whispered to Sean.

"She said she'd be right back."

"I want everyone to stand to their feet for me as I present to you the 2011 MM&E award winner, and one of my good friends, Ms. Tierra Rodriquez."

Not one person remained in their seat. Everyone rose to his or her feet clapping and cheering for her.

She was shocked, embarrassed, and surprised. Bridget hadn't even given it away, and she was bad at keeping secrets. She stood up and hugged Bridget and Sean, and walked through the crowd towards the stage. Many people shook her hand or gave her a hug as she passed them. All she could do was smile as she stepped onto the stage and stood next to Vito.

"Ti, as I call her, and I go way back. We grew up together and, with some of our other friends here tonight, we started our careers around the same time. About two years ago, some of us went down separate paths, and our little group separated. We are all good at what we do, but this young lady," Vito said, holding her hand and looking towards her, "She is at the top. She has made her way up and passed all of us men, to be recognized by many, many top CEO's, as the number one rep in the New England area. I got it straight from her boss's mouth, that in the three, well now four years she has worked for Baxwell Enterprisez, the only time off she took was two weeks he had to make her take off. Now, before any of you think this is a setup, let me tell you how this award is figured out. After tallying up your total accounts, and assessing how many successful contracts you have closed. We also rate how well you work with others, we give you a percentage. Your boss also gives you a review for the year's work, which we add to your percentage. Then we talk to other MM&E CEO's and see who they'd nominate for the award, after all that, those of you nominated are tallied and the one with the most votes wins. The person with the highest number of nominations is here tonight.

The crowd again erupts in clapping.

Vito then handed Tierra the Award and kissed her on her cheek. She stood there for a moment and starred at it. It was a gold statue in the shape of a person with _MME_ across the bottom _No. 1 Rep 2011 Tierra Rodriquez_

"Thank you, Vito," she said to him as he stepped off to the background behind her. "This is a complete surprise, and I'm so honored that all of you would acknowledge what I've done from my heart for so long. Vito's right, it is hard to maintain your standing in the industry. I have always worked with integrity, not worrying about if I'll have a job tomorrow, rather worrying about if what I'm doing will make my Dad proud of me. If I am doing what's best for my client. I guess it's that integrity that shows through and has kept me all these years. So all I can say is _Thank you_ to my Heavenly Father, my father watching me from heaven and to my mom and Abuela for being my nurturer, for never turning their backs on me. To my friends for always looking out for me, even when I was the world's biggest pain in the neck, I will never be able to repay you," she smiled. "Thank you, to all of you for this."

Vito walked up and he gave her another hug, as she wiped the tears from her cheek. The duo walked her back to Tierra's seat, while the packed banquet hall stood maintaining their applause until she was seated. When she was seated Vito made his way back to the podium and continued with his speech.

"In addition to your receiving this award on behalf of the MM&E committee, several of your friends have come up with a more personal way to show you how special you are."

She continued to wipe the tears from her face, until Bridget handed her a tissue. When she heard the band begin to play, she recognized the tune immediately. It was her favorite song, " _Love Saw It_... "Then it happened: she heard a familiar voice singing.

Shireece walked out onto the stage, and before anyone knew it, she was singing. To Tierra and Sean's added surprise, she was followed out on stage by Qu.

Qu began his verse of the song and stepped to the edge of the stage. He looked intensely at Tierra as he sung his line, ' _Then you came and made life worth living... Like the very first day of spring_...,' Qu sang starring into her eyes, his emotion evident to everyone. He walked off stage and took Tierra's hand in his as he finished his verse.

Shireece made her way around the room during her verse. Sean was surprised that his wife was singing, _again_... He couldn't believe she was able to keep this a secret from him. More importantly, he couldn't believe she looked so damn good in that dress and sounded so wonderful singing. His mind drifted to what he wanted to do to her when they got home and the fun he was going to have getting her out of that dress. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see her standing over him singing directly to him. He smiled and put his hand into hers.

As Qu and Shireece wound down the song, Qu gently pulled Tierra by her hand until she was standing. There they stood, face to face. Tierra's heart began to beat so fast she was sure he would notice her dress doing a happy dance to the beat. Her palms became moist as Qu looked into her eyes. She never noticed how, in the midst of their honey brown color, there was a shimmer of green. This close to him, she could smell him each time she inhaled. The sweet scent of the same cologne she loved so much on him engulfed her nostrils and traveled to her brain. She was weak and her body began to tremble. At any moment she thought, she might just fall into his arms.

When Shireece and Qu finished their song, Qu stopped, handed his mic to Shireece, and took another step towards Tierra. They were so close she could feel his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. He looked deep into her eyes and smiled. Taking her by the hand he led her to the balcony just off from the main room, while the audience clapped for the duos performance. There, in the seclusion of the balcony, he stood quietly. He had no plan. Didn't know what he was going to do or say. The therapist was able to get him walking, without any help, or cane. Now the rest was up to him. He closed his eyes and said a quick silent prayer.

When he opened his eyes, he took her face in his hands and turned her to face him.

"Ti, I know things have been really crazy since I've been back, since I called you that morning," he began in such a soft tone, that it sent tingles throughout her body. "I just want you to know that through it all, what I came here for hasn't changed. I don't know if you've picked up on it, if you realize it, if you feel it, but I have to tell you how I feel."

"What do you mean?"

"Shhh," he silenced her, placing his finger to her lips.

"Ever since we were kids, we've been inseparable. We were together so much our parents began to call us PB&J. But when you left, and came here, I missed you. I know you don't know it, but I came here 5 years ago to be near you. But I wasn't ready to admit how I felt. I wasn't ready to jeopardize our friendship, so I left. I took that job in Cali, hoping to figure out some things, but both our lives got more complicated and we lost contact. I never really realized how much you really meant to me, until I talked about you to Beautiful. She helped me to see how I'd light up at the mention of your name. How I had to take this chance and see what could be. I was afraid you wouldn't understand, you would think I've betrayed you, and our friendship. I wasn't ready to risk all we had, for what might be," he paused and took a deep breath. "But now, now I am."

He took her hand and kissed it gently, "I love You, Tierra, and I have for a while now," he said slowly.

Tierra's face went blank. She could tell by Qu's tone he wasn't talking best friend love. He meant L.O.V.E. Now she knew what he was trying to say all this time, why things felt so weird with him lately, and even why she couldn't get into things with Malcolm.

"Aquarian," she tried to begin.

"It's ok, Ti. I know you don't feel the same way. I just needed to let you know how I felt. No matter what, just know there is someone around that really sees you, and really loves you, for you. I always will," he said and kissed her on the forehead. He released her hand and smiled then turned and walked away.

She stood there, in a daze. What just happened? ' _I love you, then goodbye? What type of mess is that?_ ' she thought to herself. "How is he going to tell me I don't feel the same way? Does he know what's in my heart? Can't he see maybe that's why I could never fall for Malcolm?" she said quietly and watched as Qu walked through the large doors of the balcony. She walked slowly behind him and stopped at the doors leaning up against one of them her mind going a million miles a minute. Shireece was sitting next to Sean and saw Qu walking towards them kind of somberly. When she looked towards the balcony, Tierra's face was blank. She got up quickly and rushed over to her.

"Are you really going to let him get away? Are you that prideful, or that scared, Tierra? He told you his heart, now tell him yours. Forget about Malcolm! QU isn't that jerk, and you know that," she turned to the side so Tierra could get a clear view of Aquarian walking away. She looked at her friend and gave her that look that girlfriends give one another when no words are needed, but the meaning is clear.

Qu stood talking to Sean by the stairs that everyone entered in at. Sean shook his hand, and Qu turned to walk up the stairs. The sight of him taking a step on the staircase snapped something inside of Tierra. Something she didn't realize took over and it rang free from deep inside of her.

" _AQUARIAN SKEENE!_ " she yelled, causing everyone in the room stop and look at her. Sean tapped Qu on the shoulder, and he turned around and looked back towards the balcony.

"AQUARIAN SKEENE!" she called to him again. This time, she lifted her head and locked eyes with him. She pointed her hand down towards the floor where she was and Qu walked towards her. When he arrived close to her, she was standing in the doorway with her arms on her hips tapping her foot.

"Who in the hell are you to tell me what I do and don't feel?" she finally heard herself say angrily.

Shireece closed the balcony doors behind them giving them much needed privacy to work things out. "How do you know what's in my heart? Maybe I do love you. It's not like I've dated a whole lot of men before. Did you ever ask me? Did you give me a chance to reply?" she asked "Well, did you?"

"No, I guess I didn't, I just..."

"You just assumed," she interrupted him. "Well when you ASSUME, you make an ass out of you and me. Since I'm not an ass, I hope you're going to ask me, if you really want to know. Ask me." she begged him.

Qu opened his mouth and started to ask the question he was terrified to hear the answer to, "Tierra how do you feel..." but, before he could finish she walked towards him until she was face to face with him. Now it was his heart beating fast and his chest that was rising and falling fast as she pressed herself against him.

"Say it again." she said in her softest, sexiest tone.

Qu cleared his throat. But what he really needed to do was adjust his pants, but was unable to. It was different when he was the aggressor, but she was now, and he would be squirming in his seat if he were sitting. But as it was, he was standing and had no way to hide what he was feeling, or how his body was reacting to the sound of her voice, or the smell of her skin.

"Um, how do you..." he began. She leaned in, and stood on her tip toes, kissing him gently on the lips, answering his question. She leaned back and looked at him. She wasn't exactly sure until she released her lips from his, what she really felt for him. But when she kissed him, she knew all she needed to know. She loved him, she was certain of it.

"Just in case that didn't answer your question, Yes Aquarian Skeene, I love you," she admitted, smiling bashfully.

Qu reached down and pushed some of her hair out of her face and smiled. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, and then paused before he lifted her chin and took her lips into his. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, as she released herself and kissed him back.

It felt right.

"It's about DAMN time!" Shireece and Sean yelled through the glass doors.

Qu and Ti stopped kissing long enough to look at their friends. They laughed and were a bit embarrassed. She wrapped her arms around Qu's waist and noticed a familiar silhouette on the far end of the balcony. It was the lady from the church.

"Qu, I didn't know she was invited?"

"Who?"

Tierra turned him around towards the figure on the balcony. Tears instantly swelled in his eyes, and his mouth fell open when he saw the woman.

"What's wrong Qu?"

"How do you know her?"

"She's the woman I told you I see sometimes at the church, why?"

"I... It's... it can't be!" he exclaimed, looking towards the woman as if he was seeing a ghost.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"Tierra, that's... Beautiful," he said in disbelief and waved. The almost translucent figure smiled at them, blowing a gentle kiss, right before disappearing into the night air.

Tierra looked at Qu, who looked at her. Then they turned back towards where they had both just seen the woman. Had they really just seen who they thought they saw? Was it really his birth mother who gave Tierra her words of wisdom? They faced each other hand in hand and didn't care... fate, God, Beautiful's Spirit, whatever it was... something, or someone had been determined to bring them together.

They finally had love, and love was... Beautiful.

## Epilogue

Tierra laid her head on Qu's lap, while he sat on her sofa. They were enjoying watching movies together. She was so over joyed that she had found love. She couldn't be happier that it was in the arms of one with whom she already trusted.

Qu began to go with her to her therapy appointments, interested in learning what he could do to help her deal with the affects her rape still had on her. Hearing the way someone had hurt her, broke his heart every session. But knowing that she kept it to herself and moved on, showed him her inner strength. So much about her he now understood better.

It had been a treacherous six months, with many ups and downs. But at least all ended on a good note. It was now New Year's Eve and in a few hours they would be going out for the first time as a couple. Qu was having a small intimate dinner party at his house, and it would be the official unveiling of them to the public. He told his event planner that everything needed to be perfect. He promised he wasn't going to micro manage her though at Tierra's insistence. She was paid to put the evening together and he was leaving things in her capable hands. After all, he had a nervous Tierra to deal with. So they were relaxing for a bit, before it was time to get ready.

"I'm so glad you didn't let me walk out that banquet hall," Qu admitted.

"Really, so if I didn't call you back, you would have just walked away?"

"Probably."

"Hmmm, I see."

"What's that mean?"

"Well, why not fight for me, if you loved me?"

"I didn't want to press you. I just wanted to let you know how I felt."

"You're a mess, you do know that, right?"

"Oh really, I'm a mess? I'm not the one who screamed at the top of her lungs in the middle of Vito's event."

"Oh wait, really? You're going to go there?"

"Yup."

"So not fair. If I didn't scream, you would have just walked out my life."

"Not your life. Never your life."

Tierra reached up and pulled his head down to hers and their lips reached out to each other. Their sweet gently kiss however, was interrupted though by a knock at the door.

"Damn..." Tierra began.

"Watch your mouth lil lady," Qu smiled. "I'll get it, why don't you go ahead and start getting ready. We both know you're going to need the extra time," he playfully slapped her ass as he walked off towards the front door.

"See, there you go, why you starting?" she asked, and walked down the hall into her bedroom.

"Good evening, I have a package for a Miss. Rodriquez."

"Yeah, I'll sign for it."

"I'm sorry sir, it must be delivered to Miss Rodriquez only, says so right here on the package," the young man pointed to a reference on the large package.

"Ok hold on," he replied rushing down the hallway mumbling, to grab Tierra.

"Why can't you sign for it Qu?" Tierra asked wrapping her belt around her bathrobe tightly.

"The man said he has to deliver it to you!"

Tierra opened the door, to see a young man in a UPS uniform standing at her door.

"Miss Rodriquez?"

"Yes."

"I need to see your I.D. miss to confirm your identity."

"What's in this package a million dollars or something?"

"I don't know Miss, I just follow instructions."

Tierra picked up her purse off the hall table, removed her license from her wallet and showed it to the young man. He looked at it, then at her, and then compared the names on the package to her I.D.

"Ok. Here you go, have a nice night."

"Thank you."

Qu closed the door and Tierra took the package into the kitchen and sat it on the counter.

"What is it?"

"I don't know Qu. Should we open it now?"

"After all you just went through to get it, you better open it now."

"Is this something from you?" she said her eyes beginning to twinkle.

"No, I swear this isn't my doing."

Tierra pulled where it said ' _to open pull here_.' on the back on the package. She turned it upside down and the contents spilled out onto the table: a letter, a set of keys, and a business card.

She picked up the letter and began to read. Qu picked up the keys and began to check them out. Then he looked at the business card.

"NO!" Tierra yelled placing her hand over her mouth. She dropped the letter and it swayed back onto the countertop.

"What baby, what happened?"

"Mr. Baxwell... he's, he's gone," she formed him, tears starting to run down her face.

"What do you mean gone?" Qu said, reaching for the letter.

"He passed away this morning and..."

",and what baby?"

"I'm officially in charge of B.E. effective immediately!"

## END COMMENTS

Many of us, like Tierra, have something in our past that caused us so much hurt in our youth, teenage, or even our adult lives. Some of us think the best option is to bury that pain. We make the mistake of thinking if we don't face it, or deal with it, it will go away.

I'm here to tell you, 100% from experience, IT WILL WAIT FOR YOU, and IT WILL SHOW UP WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT and IT WON'T BE PRETTY!

Deal with your past, your fears, your doubts, or they _will_ deal with you. Don't allow fears run your life. Take chances, no matter how many times you've gotten it wrong before. You will never get it right if you stop trying. Learn to look DEEP inside yourself, and be honest with yourself about the good, the bad, and yes, especially the ugly parts of your life. See your faults, your shortcomings, and learn from them. Take all you can from today and make tomorrow better.

Heal your broken places, get professional help, see a therapist, your clergy, a support group, talk to someone you trust, but whatever you do, DON'T continue to ignore it. Grieve and move forward so you can become the _whole, complete, confident_ person you're intended to be.

Then let the new you SHOW OUT for the world to see!

Suggested BookClub Questions

1. What do you think Tierra could have done differently in her youth to avoid her pain as an adult?

2. Why do you think so many children hide such events as the one Tierra went through?

3. Have you ever gone through a traumatic event, and if so, how did you deal with it? Do you think you could have dealt with it better, or do you think you've fully recovered from it?

4. What lessons do you think the author is trying to share with Tierra's life? Do you think she effectively made it clear with this story?

5. Do you think the storyline of Aquarian's Biological mother being the guiding force behind Tierra and Qu's eventually reconnecting is believable? Why/why not

6. What did you like the most about the characters/story?

7. What did you like the least?

8. What questions would you like to ask the author if you could?

9. Do you feel the supporting characters helped in the storyline and do you feel the story is complete or did it leave you waning to know more? Why/ Why not. How?

10. What character did you like the most, the least? Why?

Please email your answers along with your contact information to the Author at Diamondstar_Entertainment@yahoo.com and you will be entered into a monthly drawing for gifts and future books from Kiexiza and DSE.

## Future Books

Thank you so much for your support of Kiexiza Debut novel. I hope you enjoyed the read as much as she did the journey. Now get ready for the rest of this wonderful series.

Are you ready for the BEAUTIFUL SERIES? This 5 part novel series will no doubt leave you with questions, emotional and dying for more with each and every installment! The first novel, rightly entitled simply, "BEAUTIFUL." will introduce you to 5 childhood friends, as well as, some of the characters for future novels. So Pay Close Attention to everyone! You just never know who will be making a comeback in a future book. Find out who the mysterious woman in white is, does love truly conquer all, and what happens when you bury your past and hide behind your work.

"Beautiful Seduction," is the second novel in this series. This book will dive into the life of couple Sean and Shireece Willis, with more than a few secrets between them. Find out what happens when they allow the temptation of their dreams to overpower their moral compass.

The third part to this collection, "Beautiful Innocence," takes you on a day and the life of Chamani, Qu's sister, as she tries to adjust to college life and the freedom that being out of the long over protective reach of her parents brings. How much can go wrong when the tightly pulled reins are snapped free?

Just when you think Kiexiza couldn't give you any more surprises, along comes, "Beautiful Destruction." The town play boy ends with his whole world rocked and flipped on its heels, while a single mother is torn between her heart and her fears.

I bet you think you know what's coming, but Kiexiza has one last trick up her sleeve. The great thing about the "Beautiful Series" is that, while you are moving forward with a new story, you will still keep up with all the other characters and their stories. The final novel in this series is sure to be the biggest shocker of them all.

Get ready for the mind blowing novel, "Beautiful Revelations," with a twist so sinister and mind blowing you'll have to READ it to believe it!

The BEAUTIFUL Series is guaranteed to be well worth your reading investment.

Kiexiza is preparing a book of her personal poetry from her life, from her childhood up that will be split into several volumes. Beginning with "Behind my Smile", "Inside my Jungle", and lastly "Withstanding the Storm," she hopes to give you a peek into her past and the strength she found to stand tall in the midst of it.

Also watch out for an anthology of true life stories from women exposing the turbulent relationships between mother and daughter.

FMI on Kiexiza Rodriquez follow her blogs or visit her website: www.kiexizarodriquez.blogspot.com www.kiexizarodriquez.com

DiamondStar Entertainment is a family owned business specializing in Social Media Promotions, Networking as well as hosting an Online Radio Show. We use every outlet at our grasp to help promote, and BRAND your name. Whether an Author, Musician, or Entrepreneur, if people don't know about you they can't support you or use your services.

DiamondStar Entertainment wants to be one of the outlets you use to help bring exposure to you, your business and/or your craft. Together with our staff, affiliations with other magazines, bloggers, reviewers and other social networking sites, we will go HARD for you. Using outlets at our fingertips such as:

Social Media,

Tony –N- Kie Radio Show,

Web Site Ads,

Consultations,

Regular Revolving Promotions,

Cross Promotions and more.

Allow D.S.E. to be one of your many outlets to help BRAND your name to the public.

Website: www.diamondstarentertainment.webs.com

Email: diamondstar_entertainment@yahoo.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/diamondstarentertainment

If you are interested in having book your book reviewed or spotlighted on "the Bad Girl of Urban Lit" radio show, please email BrandieRandolph@editingcouture.com.

Editing Couture edits all genres (including poetry and Urban Lit) and is versed in all writing styles. Your Editing Couture experience includes a signed confidentiality agreement to protect you, references, a red-lined copy of your manuscript, and a final copy - ready to go to your publisher. Editing Couture is available to discuss any final edits with you. Their fees vary depending on the type of edit you require. Editing choices range from light to heavy, proof-reading and, of course, whether or not you require typesetting. E.C. also offer samples of their work and a free edited sample of yours before you contract with them.

FMI contact : www.editingcouture.com / www.badgirlofurbanlit.com

Vengeance Unleashed – This thriller is sure to leave you on the edge of your seat, guessing at every turn! It's the story of a young woman, raised within a secret agency after the untimely death of her parents. Together, Sybil and her sister become deadly weapons for the agency, leaving a thick trail of blood behind them as they take care of company business. But when Sybil's sister Jessica, is killed on a mission overseas, Sybil decides she's had enough and disappears. Free from agency business, she takes on a whole new persona protecting the weak from the vermin who would prey on them. But the agency finds her, desiring her help on one last mission. When she refuses, Sybil soon learns once you're in the agency there is only one way out.

Now, in a fight for her life, she uncovers secrets that not only shock but infuriate her. Hell hath no fury... like Sybil once she's scorned! Find out what happened as she begins to unravel the mystery from the past, while wiping out anyone foolish enough to stand in her way. If you don't want to get eaten by the beast, maybe one should leave the beast alone! It's non-stop action and thrills from beginning to end as Sybil does what only Sybil can do! What she was trained to do!

Tony "The Logical Poet" Wade,

FMI TonyWade at www.tonywade.weebly.com

Tatted On My Neck - After ending her affair with a married man, Chantal moves to Los Angeles and vows to change her ways. But when Chris, an unavailable and flirtatious football player notices a man's name tattooed on Chantal's ankle, he becomes infatuated with the story behind the ink. Chris's girlfriend Shalonda thinks she knows all about Chantal's past, and will risk everything to stop the home-wrecker from stealing her future.

FMI on Nique Roberson www.destinytales.com

Poetic Realities is a rainbow of emotions ranging from: Love, Joy, Hope, Pain, Loss and Anger. The strongest emotion in Poetic Realities is Love. The love of a wife, a mother, a sister, and a true friend is what you'll find in these pages.

Kaye Stackfield loves hard, strong and always unconditionally.

She has written a book about the love that motivates her to build positive relationships with all she encounters. A Love so powerful, that it moved her to go into a house full of drug addicts to pull out a loved one. A Love that gave her strength to continually fight for that loved ones freedom from drugs. Her love sent her under a bridge to talk to homeless people and find out what happened in their life to bring them to where they were, and then help them find jobs and homes. She shares her stories with us through her poetry.

In this book you will go on a journey and see life through her eyes.

You'll feel her pain and embrace her happiness.

See what is beautiful in this world and also what makes it so ugly.

Author: Kaye Stackfield

Publisher: Smith Publishing; 1ST edition (2010)

ISBN-10: 0983096104 ISBN-13: 978-0983096108

Web Site: www.poeticrealities.com

Lisa Tyrrell Perry-Amos was born in New Jersey, and raised by her grandmother. She endured an escaped an abusive marriage and now raises her daughters as a single mother keeping strong ties with her brothers Sal and Hass. She fulfilled her childhood dream of becoming a successful accountant and eventually moved to Georgia but, then returned to NJ where she met Novel Tees and J.M. Benjamin. Between the two of them she learned as much as she could about the business of books. Eventually she desired to open and run her own book store to help further promote her extensive clientele of over 2200 authors and 10 rappers. Lisa personally promotes her clients and puts all her heart into helping to BRAND their name.

Lisa hosts the Word on da Street, radio show with her sister Shalona Amos and co-host, friend Alterick Gaston. The Word on da Street radio show, talks with inmates for the show "Incarceration to Freedom." She also host 6 other shows weekly, where she interviews authors, rappers, as well as exposes and brings light to topics like Domestic Abuse which are close to her heart.

Look out for Word on da Street Urban Bookstore's Grand Opening coming soon to a city in Georgia. Word on da Street Café, with Chef Tracey Williams, Word on da Street Urban Publishing, and Word on da Street Literary Catalog, are also coming soon.

As a survivor of Child abuse and Domestic Violence, Lisa considers herself a survivor and a strong woman, with not only a story but a wealth of knowledge to share. She truly has faith that God is directing her path and is by far not done with her yet.

http://wordondastreet.jimdo.com/

So Fyh Magazine Online is a free online publication that is committed to igniting, sparking, and awakening a global class of readers. When no other publication or media outlet focuses on the latest news, let Fyh Magazine Online become your trusted confidant. So Fyh Magazine Online wants to be that friend that will understand the intricate part of your personality, all while hipping you to the greatest fashion trends and beauty mania. So Fyh Magazine Online supports your professional ambitions, goals, dreams and desires. We have your best interests at heart. We are also convinced that literacy opens the doors to one's imagination, lifestyles, creativity, and love for their craft. Therefore we support and ask you to also support Literacy especially in our youth.

So Fyh Photography

So Fyh Magazine Online

So Fyh Entertainment & Management

www.sofyhmagazineonline.com

"I am perfectly imperfect, beautiful in my flaws, chaotic, fearless...a beautiful disaster" Everything that glitters is not gold and every beautiful face has a story to tell...

A product of rape, a motherless child, a woman full of hate all she needs is a purpose. All Anika Connors ever wanted was to have things her way, by any means necessary. She was, in her mind, after all deserving of it after all the hardship she had experienced in her life. The more people upset her the more she wanted them to pay. From the lover who did her wrong to the men that brought disgrace to her family, she planned to get them back. But in the end is it all worth it? Does her path of destruction threaten her future...or will she do what she always does, destroy anyone who gets in her way?

Teyanna Simmons has it all: brains, beauty, money and a secret life. When neither her husband nor lover could satisfy her insatiable appetite she resorts to a lifestyle that she will do anything to keep under wraps. But to what existent is she willing to go to keep her secret? And is she ready to suffer the consequences of her actions when she crosses the wrong people?

...David Walters had every man's dream: his own lucrative business, a beautiful wife and an equally beautiful girlfriend, paradise right? Not even close! How can he get rid of his wife and make his girlfriend her replacement?

Learn more about Dawn Jasper on www.dawnjasper.com

Forbidden Romance is a 3 part series written by Authoress Danielle Taylor. She invites you to go on a journey of misguided trust, betrayal, obsession, lies, love and lust all wrapped up in some volcanic events that will have you wondering what happens next. Find out how they're living in the "Big Apple" and if there really is a thin line between love and hate?

London Santiago is the Senior Executive of Marketing & Promotions at Golden Money Entertainment, one of the Largest Entertainment Companies in New York. With killer looks, a dynamite body and brains to boot, she's worked hard to get to where she is. Her career, has afforded her the finest of the finest things. Yet, the one thing she desires more than anything else, is to be happy in love and will almost do anything to have it. Even things she never thought she'd do. Like date a married man.

But, when the wife of her lover decided she's not willing to share, and will do anything to keep her family together; London is in for more than she bargained for? Even though the Mrs. has a few secrets of her own she's trying to keep tight under lock and key, she's not going to let the likes of London destroy what she's worked hard to maintain all these years.

Find out just how tangled web this group weaves, when they conspire to deceive!

"FORBIDDEN ROMANCE" Coming soon to a store near you!

For more on Authoress Danielle Taylor visit her at

http://www.iamdanidiva.com/

"Because Camille's camera is always ready.

The question is....Are YOU?"

_Strawberries, Stilettos, and Steam_ by Imani True and Dreama Skye

NCM Publishing-Las Vegas NV

ISBN 978-0-578-06114-6

www.trueskyemedia.com

Airing Out Dirty Laundry By: Latisha Patterson

Go through the rollercoaster ride of friendship and relationships when deep, dark secrets are exposed. Find out what happens when five women air out their Dirty Laundry.

www.latishiapatterson.com

Bringing SEXY Back to Urban Erotic & Romance Fiction!

http://www.nipressbooks.com

http://www.naughtyinkpress.com
