 
We've decided to make the book for free to all readers, who would like to read it. The book is almost 5 years old and we would like to spread the content through the world, because we already got a very positive feedback from our readers and we are not against sharing the energy with others. :-) I thank all people, who accompanied me on the way up to now and who supported me in these times.

Original title: LOVEFOOL

Author: Amalia Angellinni

Cover: Anna Brakoniecka & SN

ISBN 978-83-929832-0-0

English Edition (4th English edition, May 2014)

Copyright 2009 Anna Brakoniecka, Scholar Europe (exclusive publisher)

Contact Amalia:

http://amaliaangellinni.wordpress.com/

Amalia @ Twitter

Amalia @ Smashwords

Book reviews:

 http://amaliaangellinni.wordpress.com/category/book-reviews/lovefool-saga/

See the results of the contest "TOP10 Questions to Amalia":

 http://www.lovefool.be/2012/10/lovefools-anniversary-special-sale-promotion/

 http://www.lovefool.be/2012/12/lovefools-campaign-results-answers-to-your-questions/

License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or otherwise transferred to a third party nor used for commercial purposes. If you would like to share this book, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book without having purchased it, or if it wasn't purchased for your use only, you should return it to Scholar Europe, bezkartek.pl or Smashwords.com or any other store selling it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of the author.

THANK YOU!

If I hadn't met Anna Brakoniecka, I wouldn't have been able to do this.

If I would say just a simple "Thank you", it wouldn't describe my gratitude even in the smallest range. The human languages are mostly limited when it is about describing emotions and feelings. Therefore, take my "Thank you" and be sure that it's much, much more than just words captured in black letters.  
My journey with "Lovefool" started as I have seen the first scenes in front of my eyes, somewhere on the way between my university, my apartment, between course of examinations, masses of the professional literature for my work papers and every other work needed in my life.  
Already as my journey began, I met many people who accompanied me and who would still (hopefully) accompany me. The first great critics were my closest friends and then, the team at Scholar Online Europe. These people encouraged me and took away from me many tasks, fears and obligations that caught me up to that time like a boa.  
My first book "Lovefool" was published in English 2009. And my life has changed rapidly.  
In the meantime, my book is no work just of mine, but a common project of many people, who are invisible for fans. All these people get one more thank you at that point, because they have changed my life and brought me at the literary riverside. Otherwise, all my work would stay captured in a drawer of my desktop.  
I thank Anna and her team at Scholar Online Europe, where young, lost souls like me get a really good, European stay as well as every needed mental and media support. It's not only about translators, who voluntary carry for better integration. They are my friends and people I know who give me advices and support me like the fellows on the way to Mordor.  
That is Rita and Rainer, who have been sitting days and nights and improved the German edition grammatically, polished everything once again and put into question Barbie's fingernails and 'river of words'. They didn't want to influence the lyric side of my book that is underlined so often. That is Mandy and other voluntary translators, who work on interviews and other material. It is my friends, who point at details and who send me music advices. It's about musicians, who composed songs and melodies that inspire me. It's Anna, again, who brought the idea of making the soundtrack instead of a list for all chapters and in this way, she won over the chaos. It's Coldplay, Beyonce, Paramore, Anna Nalick, Train, Muse, Tegan & Sara, Greg Laswell, several (movie) composers and classic artists, who influenced my mood while writing and they did it up to the further extension of my musical perception. It's people I know from social media, who motivate me and send constructive criticism.  
Last, but not least, it's my fans, who won't be mentioned here by names, because there are too many of you! They wrote to me and are happy, when they get answer from me (luckily, I am still able to answer your correspondence, even if it is made only a short hop between yesterday and tomorrow.). These people take my conceptions and analyze them; they ask questions and send some suggestions. Sometimes, it is like a table tennis: we inspire us each other and you can find some details frozen for the eternity in my book in form of black letters that you recognize. If you find such things on one of the pages, it is apparently no pure coincidence! :-)  
Thank you to people who bring me further literally, even if their actions have not much in common with my book: a smile on a very bad day or a call from far, far away are simple things that make life so worth to live. My family supports me, even if not many of them are potential readers of my book. Here, I'd like to thank above all to every person who sent me any material related to the book. The winners of our contest 'Summer campaign under the sign of all love fools' 2010 are already announced. It was such a pleasure and honour to be one of the jury members, who I allowed to look at every piece of your creativity! That was simply awesome!  
It is "just" the second edition of my book that was published for the first time in October 2009 in English, in November 2009 in Polish and in July 2010 in German. It is for me much more than a book and much more than just a simple "Thank you". It is a life of my characters: Mia, Sebastian and Julian. Moreover, it is the reality that is sometimes much more beautiful than imagined conception. I wrote today via Twitter: "I am happy in front of a greater happiness. That is luck. Good luck! " And it is how I feel about right now. I just finished the second part of "Lovefool" (with the title: "Lovefool – I(m)mortal") and gave it away to the grammar check. I am still waiting for further opinions of you, people from the whole world, and I feel just happy. I send you the good luck of the world and I hope that we can celebrate together, even if it's not only possible from the logistical point of view.  
We read us soon!  
Many thanks,

Amalia

PS: I send warm greetings to Ireland to Anne Canders, who helped with searching after grammar mistakes. Thanks again to my family, friends and thank to Poland, the country that gave me inspiration.

LOVEFOOL'S SOUNDTRACK:

#1 PROLOG

#2 RING OF FIRE

#3 YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME

#4 WORDS AND THOUGHTS

#5 JUST MY IMAGINATION

#6 COSY IN MY MIND

#7 WHISPER OF A THRILL

#8 TODAY HAS BEEN OK

#9 WHAT YOU'RE WAITING FOR

#10 TELL ME NOW WHAT YOU SEE

#11 IT IS ALL COMING BACK TO ME

#12 TEN FEET OFF THE GROUND

#13 FROZEN

#14 STAY ANOTHER DAY

#15 ONE, TWO, STEP

#16 THE LADY IS A TRAMP

#17 SPARKLE ME

#18 WHATEVER GETS YOU THROUGH THE DAY

#19 EVERYTHING BUT THE GIRL

#20 MY WAY

#21 AND THEN I MET HIM

#22 4 MINUTES

#23 DRIVE MY CAR

#24 I HAVE A FEELING

#25 DAMAGED

#26 MY GIRL

#27 BREAKING THE HABBIT

#28 MEET ME HALFAWAY

#29 THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL

#30 A PROMISE KEPT

#31 UNABLE TO STAY, UNWILLING TO LEAVE

#32 GLORIA VICTIS

#33 NUMB

#34 GREEN FINCH AND LINNET BIRD

#35 SLEEPLESS

#36 COME WHAT MAY

#37 BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY

#38 ME AND MY MONKEY

#39 DON'T BOTHER

#40 IRIS

#41 WHERE DOES THE GOOD GO

#42 LOVELY DAY

#43 FEEL

#44 CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE

#45 CITY CALLS YOU

#46 UNDER THE WAVES

#47 MAN FOR ALL SEASONS

#48 MEAN MAN

#49 CHILDREN OF THE REVOLUTION

#50 THUNDER

#51 MEMORIES

#52 TAKE AWAY THE WORDS

#52 LIVE AND LEARN

#53 MAN IN THE MIRROR

#54 I HAVE NOTHING

#55 LET ME SUFFER IN SILENCE

#56 THE GIRL WITH THE SUN IN HER HAIR

#57 BLEEDING IN LOVE

#58 SHAPE OF MY HEART

#59 BREATH (2 AM)

#60 TREMBLE FOR MY LOVE

#61 SAY IT RIGHT

#62 BEYOND THE SEA

#63 ALL THE SMALL THINGS

#64 ALL THE GOOD THINGS (COME TO AN END)

#65 WALLPAPER

#66 THE FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST

#67 PIANO THEME

#68 HAWAIIAN ROLLER COASTER

#69 SUSPICIOUS MINDS

#70 ANGELS

#71 FAITHFUL

#72 COULD IT BE MAGIC

#73 CHEEK TO CHEEK

#74 THE LEGEND SPREADS

#75 SON OF A PREACHER'S MAN

#76 CAN'T HELP MYSELF

#77 HOURGLASS GLUED TO A TABLE

#78 HANDS OF TIME

#79 EVERY YOU AND EVERY ME

#80 COLD-PLAY

#81 WORLDS APART

#82 BITTER SWEET SYMPHONY

#83 DOWNTOWN

#84 HANG OVER

#85 DEAD AND GONE

#86 THE PROFESSIONAL GUN

#87 OSTANUS DAY

#88 WITH SWORD AND FIRE

#89 NEVER FORGET

#90 (I CAN FEEL YOUR) HALO

#91 HOW TO SAFE A LIFE

#92 LOVE WILL COME THROUGH

#1 PROLOGUE

This situation made me furious, disappointed, it took myself to my limits and still I am remaining politically correct and diplomatic as always. Otherwise, I would have been lost from the very beginning. Dead man is always walking on a thin red line. It is the 4th degree of danger. Damn it.

But at the same time these feelings were overwhelmed by a great shadow, I am feeling powerless. And it hurts. Inside of me I am throwing myself here and there. I am walking on thin ice. Dead woman is walking instead of me. I am curious when it will all come crashing down. Scars usually remain for a long time.

Thousands of words, millions of associations, lack of sense in the whole chaos and I am looking for some emotions. Today I am not feeling much at all. I am feeling empty inside and outside of me. I left him and this will echo through all eternity. I am feeling a great nothing. I can see only blood in the snow and it seems only logical, that it is my own blood. Cogito ergo sum, I think, therefore I am. I suppose you can still see a shadow of me. Let me die. Let me rest in peace. There is nothing of me anywhere. I cannot live like this anymore.

Then I thought I needed one minute to notice him, one hour to judge him and one day to fall in love with him. Now, I need the whole eternity to forget him. I don't have so much time. I am dying now. I love him and I am dying.

#2 RING OF FIRE

It was a very dark night. The moon was behind clouds and the stars were not shining at all. It was so gloomy that it wasn't possible to see anything. Some figures were gathered in a perfect circle and waited without a sound for something about to happen. It was too murky to say whether it was an open landscape or just a garden behind a house. However, it was for sure that these figures were standing outside.

One of the figures clapped twice and suddenly a fire lit up out of nowhere in the middle of the circle. Now you could see some faces hidden under white hoods of tunics. It was still very dark and it was still not possible to recognise anyone. There were 30, maybe 40 shapes building this circle and everyone was focused on what happened in the middle of it.

A very old figure of a man with white hair and trembling hands stood in the middle near to the thin stream of fire and looked to its top and suddenly a ball of fire appeared above the flames. The old man bowed down and took some earth into his hands, and then he diffused what he had in his hands over the ball of flames. Suddenly the ball changed its structure and became solid and strong. It looked like a small version of the globe, but it was made just from the soil. Then the old man stretched his hand and out of nowhere he took a wee bottle, he opened it and five drops of water came out of it, dripping directly on the solid ball, mixing with the earth. Everyone could see that the ball became a real miniature of globe with oceans and seas and continents on it.

Then, with a rapid movement of his hand the old man captured some air and directed the wind on the ball over the fire. In addition, the little globe started to rotate. Everyone was looking quietly and emotionless at this ritual.

The old man bowed a little to better see, what was happening on the little globe. The others stayed covered under their white tunicas.

-Brothers and sisters. – whispered the old man, still focused on the globe. - There will be a great war that will make humankind much weaker than ever before. There will be a sea of blood and there will be suffering. There will be emptiness and hopes will be broken. When destruction and mass murders will be over, humankind will recover and will rise like a phoenix from the ashes. A boy will be born and this boy will lead us a step closer to the one we keep looking for.

Everyone was focused on the old man. They observed him very carefully and listened to every single word of his with the highest attention.

-It will be in a land between Russia and Germany. – The old man went on and tried to take a closer look at the tiny globe. – Who will help the old man to read the signs?

After the question was asked, one person came out of the circle and stepped closer to the old man.

-Julian, thank you. Here, look here. – The old man pointed with a trembling finger at a part of the little globe.

Julian's face was better to see when he bowed above the fascinating creation of fire, earth, water and air. Julian was looking quite young: every human would approximately calculate his age for 20, maybe 25 years. He had sapphire blue eyes and short hair, which was blowing in the wind. He was taller than the old man and had to bow himself much further to see what the old man was showing.

-It is a city, which is completely destroys, it's a city, which will be rebuilt by human hands, and which will be the capital after the war has ended.

Julian was looking at the globe and saw a small city, which was destroyed by all means, there were airplanes dropping bombs on it, there were soldiers throwing grenades and there was fire and sufferance everywhere. These pictures looked like a movie or rather like a tiny living model of the city.

-It is Warsaw. It has to be Warsaw. – Julian said without doubts.

-Poland? – The old man kept silent for a while and then added:

–Eastern Europe will play a great role not only for humans. Would you mind to take on this task? – asked the old man and put his hand on Julian's shoulder.

-I will be there. – said Julian convinced.

-Good, but don't be too fast, you still have some years before it will happen and if you prefer, you can stay here until the war is over. – The old man was smiling friendly.

Then the tiny globe rotated faster and faster and exploded. The bang was undersized and the earth and water fell down onto the flame and doused the fire.

It was a very dark night and it wasn't possible to see anything.

* MANY YEARS LATER ... *

#3 YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME

The first day in a new school is never the best day. She knew it already from her experience. Moreover, for her this was just another schoolish school. For her there were white walls, some teachers, and some lessons, crowds of young people which she didn't intent to get to know deeply and whom she would traditionally leave after one school year without any good-bye. Generally, goodbyes were not her strength. It was easier to do as if she would come back after the summer holidays and then nobody had a problem with it. This way she was avoiding many questions, which was the most important aspect. Anyway: how should she take a goodbye from people who barely knew her? She knew almost everything about them at the end of the school year and they didn't know much about her. It was almost like her very own ritual.

Because she wasn't one of them. She wasn't a girl with loving and warm-hearted parents, eating her mother's home-made mushroom soup, arguing with her father, playing with the family's dog, having smiley-face posters on her wall. Some people are just broken inside and unbreakable outside. In addition, she didn't establish any friendships. It wasn't her cup of tea.

For her new class mates, this time in Warsaw, it wasn't as easy and open. Everybody in the class knew about the new pupil coming to town and everybody was curious what kind of person she was. Here, people were not used to changes as maybe somewhere else. People kept talking about it for more than a week, because of Marta's mother, who was the school nurse. She had shared this secret with her daughter and spreading news in a small school is not a very difficult task. The last person who got the news was Tomek, who preferred to play soccer to sitting with the girls listening to the gossip. The guys' interests in sports now began to get into conflict with another wish: getting a girl you can call "your girl". It was the silly age when you start thinking about your first love, about your first kiss and about girls who tried to put on some nice make-up and wear high heels for the first time. Of course, you had wouldn't talk about it, because such secrets should not give an opportunity for anybody to make a fool of you! This was the atmosphere in which the third class of the Polish High School named after Szymborska, a Nobel Prize winner in literature, started this week.

This class was apparently calm. The tutor has not arrived yet and everybody already knew all stories from the holidays, because on the second day of the school year you already got to see some pics from Christopher who was in Ireland or from Martha who was in Paris for a week. Everybody knew, Justyna stayed here all the time, in Warsaw, because she had to look after her brother and sister. The only new thing in the air was the new pupil with a most common and boring name that was easy to remember. Kowalska is just like Smith and you should be happy that you don't call such a person Ms. Doe. Ane the new girl didn't expect this city would hold her longer than she planned. Only the faintest bad feeling, and she would never return here.

Only Wiola, called Viola by her friends, a blond wonder of nature and the class representative for two years, one of the most beautiful girls in the class and even in this city of 2 million, who knew the rare tricks of dating boys, the one who always knew the best solution when it comes to boys, didn't seem to be so happy. But being a pro, she didn't show why her mood wasn't as great as on any other day. She was sitting among the others chewing on her lip.

Gosia, rather a bad candidate for size zero clothes or playing a leading role in a High School Musical, was telling more jokes than anyone else. Everybody was laughing, remembering the holidays, which seemed to be so far away from reality now like the distance between the earth and the moon. Martha was speaking about her hunting results in Montmartre, one of the city parts in Paris. Boys were talking about cars, Formula 1 and football (what else?) and about their efforts in driving school. Christopher wanted to practice with his brother's car tonight.

In the same moment she already thought: another schoolish school.

Then Mrs Polanska entered into the classroom and looked around slowly. After some seconds, she already knew who was missing. One of these persons was the new girl. Moreover, Mrs Polanska had the honour to inform her pupils about the new girl.

-Darlings, I know you already miss holidays, but do concentrate, please.

The youngsters were smiling and one of boys said:

-We are always present at the ceremony at the end of the school year.

-Yes, I know. I would rather see you all during the whole school year and not only once a year.

Mrs Polanska wanted to spread the news, which her pupils already knew about, as she noticed. There was no nervous atmosphere in the class. She added quickly and just by the way:

-So, from now we will have more pupils in our class. There will be a new girl. Her name is Kowalska, and her first name is Emilia. She is supposed to arrive today and I hope you will like her.

Viola moved a little bit when she heard the name of the new girl and even more so when she heard the first name. She was afraid that the person coming to this class would be the one she already met before. And she wasn't so happy about it.

Some other people showed a little bit of enthusiasm, in the end they were not supposed to know about the new classmate until now. Also, they were a little bit exited about the new one. They already knew each other since primary school and three years ago, they all started High School and knew each other well. Their school was a part of a bigger school complex - the smallest one and the most hidden between old oaks. Next to this High School there was a bigger primary school. The kids didn't disturb anybody, because they had their own buildings apart from the High School.

However, Emilia Kowalska didn't show up. Right now she was walking along one of the main streets in Warsaw admiring Nowy Swiat and other sights. The Warsaw Castle wasn't as pretty as she expected it to be. She preferred Cracovia with its Middle Age atmosphere full of artists' souls. In the castle she was missing any atmosphere. She walked step by step and was thinking about the new school.

It was her tradition to skip the first day in her new school with all its ceremonies and official events. She hated it. It was the first day after holidays, and she preferred not to be in the centre of attention. After the holidays, there always was so much to talk about, so she was hoping to go rather unnoticed. Now, after moving house, she wanted to rest. She was almost 17 and her grandmother grew older with every year and didn't have enough strength to deal with another relocation. Besides, this time grandmother said it should be her last house moving. If Mia wanted to study (in two years time), she was welcome to move on. Grandmother has become tired of this moving house procedure that was repeated year after year. Now there was a condition: stay two years in one city and then do whatever you want.

Mia wasn't interested in building did up relationships with her class mates, because she already knew right from the beginning that she was going to leave the place after a year. She had already lost so much that she didn't want to lose more. She wasn't interested in things, that were important for girls - like make-up, shopping and parties. She didn't want to start a relationship, because she was convinced she was screwed for eternity. She didn't know why, but she had her experiences, her memories and didn't want to share them with anybody.

Any kind of feeling was already gone. The fresh air and walking through the new city were the best medicine. She didn't want to think about her experiences and those thoughts she had tried so hard to delete from her memory. She had to be always prepared. She didn't know exactly for what, but she knew there was a person in the world, which she never ever wanted to see. She was escaping from the past but this past had the really annoying habit to catch her anytime she thought she had found at least some peace.

She didn't have to think about excuses, because she could always say "I didn't know where my class room is and you know, the new city, the new neighbourhood and girls just don't get it right with the timing and so...". It worked out great every time she had to use it. But she already knew well the plan of the school, she already knew her timetable. She already memorized it from when she came to this school to show her documents and enrol for the upcoming year. She chose this school because it had a good educational level and was prepared for any test. There was no test. When the tutors looked at her marks, there was no reason to be worried about the IQ of the new pupil. There was no negative comment about her, either. She has always been a perfect, unproblematic case.

Furthermore, this girl was interesting for another reason: some of her data was governmentally protected. You could only see the last school plus some other data, but nothing else. The teachers usually asked her only a few questions, rather a formal procedure than a necessity. Thereby Mia had the opportunity to get to know the new school and this one visit was enough to memorize all the details she needed to know. She knew how many exits there were, how you could get there in the fastest and slowest way and such things. It was a routine. She did her homework well. However, nobody should notice it.

Currently - as she was walking through the capital - she didn't give her new classmates a chance to get to know her. Not now.

#4 WORDS AND THOUGHTS

Tuesday morning was as usual a little bit chaotic. The third class wasn't as loud as it could be, but 25 young people in one room although talking in their normal voices are anything but quiet. Everybodz but the new girl. Mia wasn't there.

Everybody was sitting just somewhere: on chairs, on tables. And this time as well it was the same procedure as always: Mrs Polanska, the Polish teacher, came into the room and through her thick glasses she looked annoyed at the pupils sitting on the tables. Within a few minutes, everything was in the best order.

-How can you behave like this? You are too loud and too rude! Is this how the new elite of our country looks like? - Mrs Polanska wasn't screaming, she was a teacher with great experience, authority, and with a very ear-splitting voice. She knew this class wasn't as bad as they might think now after her criticism, but she was already in her years and she needed to stick truly to her values.

Everybody sat down and some even uttered some short excuses. It was so quiet you could hear the wind outside, and this wind wasn't strong, only moving the weakest leaves in the trees. The teacher looked down on her notes in the schoolbook and the pupils started to take out their things for this lesson. A whoosh of books and booklets could be heard throughout the class. It was one minute before eight o'clock (beginning of the lesson), Mia stood in the door and looked around quickly. She already knew where she would sit. If you don't perceive people as human beings, it is not so difficult to find the place you're looking for. She just came in and sat down on a chair near the window. So, no one who would come to the classroom would notice her at once. And this was her intention. This was down to some weird scenarios in her head caused by phobias.

Only when she was already sitting down she looked at people around her as human beings and her look didn't invite them to look back at her. People were busy talking and now the teacher came into the room, everybody calmed down and was silent. Then the school bell rang and everybody took out the stuff they needed for this lesson. Mrs Polanska started to check the attendance list and she didn't wait long for the reply. It was enough for everzbody to make any faintest noise and the teacher already knew, who was present. Additionally, the woman didn't even look up to check whether it was correct or not. At last, when she read the name of the new pupil she was astonished by the quiet "present" from the end of the room. Not only the teacher was confused.

Everybody looked into the corner where Emilia was sitting. Nobody was expecting the new girl to be present, nobody hadn'ticed her until now. As if she would be invisible. Incredible! Emilia already made this experience very often and was looking at the class with a small, friendly smile on her face. She seemed to be a nice girl. She had big, green eyes, curly, brown and quite long hair and she was pretty. She didn't wear brands, but you noticed she had style. She preferred simple, almost cold colours like sky blue and a shirt with a white collar. All sporty clothes, although she wore blue jeans and inconspicuous ballerinas. It was a sunny September and it was warm enough to walk without a jacket. Nonetheless, she took one. It was put on an empty chair next to her.

Her face didn't change just because 26 persons were looking at her. It was the OMG moment. Nevertheless, Mia didn't show the same reaction as many people would do. She didn't turn red, she didn't move, she didn't even breathe in.

Everybody seemed to ask how it could happen that nobody could notice a new girl in the room? Even Mrs Polanska was astonished although she already knew all the different walking styles and was able to determine who it was, just by hearing her pupils walk. She would even hear the quietest whispering at the very end of the room (which annoyed every pupil of course) and now she didn't hear anything. She took two deep breaths and looked at her class register for a while. Reading names wasn't necessary for her, she knew right from the beginning who was and who missing, but this whole experience had changed today. She tried to look at the new girl, but she couldn't just stare.

So she started to ask some questions about the literature figures they were talking about in the previous lesson. Of course, she asked the new one, too. It was a good possibility to look at her without having to look for excuses. As a matter of fact, these questions didn't pose a problem for the new girl. She answered every single question in plain sentences, with simple logic and good arguments as if she had already prepared answers.

She wasn't disrespectful, she was self-conscious and somehow classy. From this day on Mrs Polanska tried to learn the way of walking of her new pupil, but it was hard to get. Emilia was so quiet and so elegant at the same time that it was almost impossible.

During the break, Emilia had to face the first questions from the other pupils: how did she get here, why and all the other things you ask somebody new.

-Please, call me Mia. – said Emilia and of course she had to answer how she liked the city and the school and this and that. Tit for tat... She answered plainly with short sentences and you couldn't get much information about herself, neither when some of pupils asked questions, you cannot answer with a simple "yes", or "no".

Everybody who was looking at Mia felt as if they already knew her for years although nobody knew much about her and she didn't make the impression of letting anybody close to her. This seemed to be impossible. She was polite and very well educated, but she didn't share much information about her. Instead, she kept directing the converstion towards different topics, by asking someone about something and then the discussion would go on about something completely different, making it almost impossible to return to the main question: who is that girl?

Only Viola was looking at the new girl with different thoughts. She already noticed Mia didn't change much and it was still possible to recognize her. For Mia it was neither good nor bad that everyone was looking at her and wanted to talk. She had manners, style, and seemed to be uncomplicated.

Viola was complicated and to keep her mask of a totally blond was a challenge right now. She hated the feeling of being around Mia. It was years ago, since she had seen her, they were still kids. However, she knew something that nobody else here knew. Usually she would turn it into a great scandal, but Mia's secret was connected to Viola herself. Viola respected her anyway. She didn't like her, but she respected her. Some people are just broken and you don't touch them so that they don't fall apart. This was the reason why Mia's secret was safe.

#5 JUST MY IMAGINATION

After two days in Warsaw, she already had a new job. She didn't look like 17. She looked like at least 18 years old, even without make-up. Looking like an adult can make a significant difference, when looking for a job. Furthermore, although she wasn't 18 on the paper, she made such a good impression that she easily got the job. She had to take care of an old lady. It is not common in Poland to pay somebody to take care of your grandma. Most people don't have enough money and live with their parents or with their kids and don't spend money for such extravagant things. However, there were some people, who became rich after the change of the economic system, earning good money. Of course, they didn't want to show it and cause envy of their best friends and the beloved tax office. Nevertheless, they needed somebody to take care of their weakest family members.

This work was illegal, but for Mia this wasn't a problem. She needed money. Also, this wasn't the only reason why she needed this job. Looking after "grandma Zofia" was easy. Zofia, an old woman, was over 80 years old and almost a vegetable. She was able to understand what you were teling her, but she wasn't able to answer. She just tried to communicate using her eyes and sometimes it worked. It worked when she wanted to hire Mia. Mia was a young girl with this energy young people have, energy which has to be stolen from them, when the old ones don't get it in another way. Zofia's eyes were so enthusiastic as if she was high on drugs. This work wasn't so hard. It was all about sitting there, talking with Zofia, reading to Zofia, listening to music or any other form of spreading some young energy in the room. Besides, Mia should just come 2-3 times a week and in the case of emergency there was in a second team of people who should take care of the old lady.

Grandma Zofia had the hands of an old person, full of traces from the past. They were delicate and warm. She always wanted to hold something in her hands. She used to say that she wants to feel life as long as she was still alive. Grandma Zofia`s hair was as white as snow and short like women used to have it back in the 20ies. Mia used to comb it like that and Mia even brought a hair slide in style of the early 20ties. Grandma Zofia was always very pleased when Mia was around. She loved to hear Mia talking. Mia's voice was like medicine to her.

Mia usually just talked about what she had seen in the city or read books aloud and grandma Zofia was pleased to hear this young, friendly voice like a drug giving her the will to live. It made the old lady think about God. Maybe, he was busy, and then sometimes he sent some extraordinary people you meet in your life.

Mia used to read aloud. It helped her to visualise what the book was about. She could better imagine the characteres from Sienkiewicz's trilogy, the favourite book of grandma Zofia`s. It was about knights from the 18th century who were fighting with swords and honour, who always followed their codex and never broke the rules. Mia could almost feel the green meadows of Poland and Ukraine and feel the wind on her face, the wind that brought her news about the outcome of battles and complicated fates of the main heroes.

She was almost bleeding like the main characters and she was very enthusiastic when they were happy. It was a strange feeling and hard to describe - how do you describe a feeling anyway - but Mia was almost a part of the book she was reading aloud. Moreover, grandma Zofia liked to hear the emotions Mia apparently transported in her voice. As she was reading aloud, she forgot about the entire world, and reality around her was further away than the things she was reading. She got the impression to know these lands, she had never seen before and to know the knights she had never met. Mia didn't remember since when she discovered this gift, but as far as she could remember it has been there all her life.

#6 COSY IN MY MIND

Because the medicine for Mia's grandmother was expensive and Mia didn't want to use the small pension of her grandmother for it, she needed another job. She found an offer for a translator. Her own grandma wasn't as nice as the old "grandma Zofia" and Mia wouldn't ever call her grandma a grandma. It was just "grandmother". No emotions, no talks, no taking care. Mia's grandmother was a cold old lady. Mia herself was the greatest problem for her grandmother and she didn't want Mia to aks for more than she got even if she had to work more or less hard.

Recently, Mia bought some new books and schoolbooks. Her grandmother wasn't happy about it and said such books could be found in every library. There was no necessity to have a library at home. Yes, home sweet home, without books, without fantasy worlds and without any warm feelings, but with a history.

Mia looked at the job advertisement and called the number. She talked shortly to the guy and made an appointment. Of course, she knew right away where she wanted to meet this guy. She never risked too much. The voice on the line was very warm and comforting. And professional. And curious. They didn't have to talk for hours and they didn't. On the next day, they should meet in a small and amiable place called "Casablanca". The guy suggested meeting in "Sunshine", one of the new clubs, but she turned it down with her own proposal. She already knew that place, because she walked in there on her very first day in Warsaw. It was located in the city centre, but not easy to find. Moreover, the atmosphere was good enough to read books. She loved books and never had an own place to read them. At home, it was impossible, because she didn't feel well there. There was no possibility to read, aloud or not. At school – yeah, who is reading books at school? Such small teahouses, which you could easily find in every bigger city, were the magical places where you could sit for hours and read, read, read.

"Casablanca" was one of them, and it also was stylish and young at the same time. The air smelled like true rooibos, delicious vanilla, and seductive chocolate cookies. The walls were not naked, but with modern, blue and green patterns on a sand-yellow background. The furniture had an old style and was made of real wood, not wannabe-wood. Here and there, old dried out flowers were hanging on the walls and the candles on the tables had different shapes and colours. "Casablanca" was just perfect.

#7 WHISPER OF A THRILL

Sebastian was driving along the streets and was angry because of all the stops (these traffic lights!). He was talking with his best fellow, Julian. The conversation wasn't about very important things and could be interupted every second without any of them feeling the need for further explanations. There it was: just a short "sya" was a sign for the end of the discussion and Sebastian reversed his own car into a parking space. It was one of the newer types, and most importantly, it was his very own car. He had worked to be able to buy it and he had earned it with his sweat and honest work. Moreover, he was proud of himself every time he looked at his deep blue Audi A2. It is not common in Poland to have your own car by the age of 24. And if you did, it usually was a legendary car like Polonez or Fiat, known to the rest of the world only from stories. Lately more and more young people owned old second/hand cars like VW or BMW, that had been fixed and pimped up in Polish workshops. Poland was becoming mobile.

Sebastian knew this teahouse, he used to like it until one of "their" girls started working there, and he wasn't as open for a relationship with her as she was. Usually, he was sitting in "Sunshine", because it was the restaurant and disco club of his friend. Julian never ever had to ask for money, if he wanted to get something. If he wanted to travel somewhere, he travelled. If he wanted to buy a new car, he bought it. He was a young guy with a great bank account, a posh Ford Mustang and his own club. Many girls wanted to date this guy, have his contacts and his money. And so it was. Julian was like a King Midas, who touched something and it became pure gold. What a lucky guy! Therefore, Julian started with his own club, with his own stuff, with the music he liked and pretty girls he was dating sometimes. Sebastian even thought that Julian helped to push up "Casablanca", too, but he wasn't sure. Julian was always saying something very important while others were talking silly things. And if you were smart, you could easily notice such remarks and use them.

Julian convinced Sebastian to start his translation work here in the same way and thanks to his advice Sebastian won his first customers. Now, he already had a good reputation on the market and therefore he was in the good position of being his own boss and a student. In addition, he had time to organise parties with his friends and to observe how "Sunshine" turned into the best club in the city. Funnily enough, "Sunshine" was successful because of the word-of-mouth advertising.

Sunshine was THE place where young people met to show themselves and their importance. Nobody remembered the times when parties were usually organized at home and how much fun they had in these private rooms that were much smaller than a dance floor here. It wasn't so long ago. When they had to decide where to study and what to do with their lives, people moved to the capital being convinced they wouldn't be happy in any other city. All you wanted to get in Poland you surely got in Warsaw. The cultural life in Warsaw doesn't slow down even for a moment. You have the Jazz Jamboree Festival or Warsaw Autumn. Music and Film Festivals draw a wave of artists towards the capital and you can always impress girls by taking them to such events. Warsaw has many tourist attractions which make it easier to get to know the city better and which are worth taking advantage of. You are never bored there.

Therefore, Sebastian and his friends were happy finally to have a chance to meet not only High School girls and to live in a city that is vivid by day and night. A higher way of driving as you say in Poland. So the two guys, who were almost like brothers started their life here. It couldn't go wrong, because King Midas was there. That is how they got every girl they wanted and everything they planned.

With these thoughts in mind, Sebastian enetered into the teahouse. "Casablanca" was still a place with atmosphere, with a smell of tasty vanilla and pure rooibos. Besides, you got chocolate cookies there, home-made of course! Already when talking to her on the phone, he noticed that the girl seemed to be rather smart and professional. Was she reliable? He had to check it. The last girl he hired was fired after a week. For him, this was just the beginning of a terrible season of finding a new girl for work. Most of the girls were not interested in the job but in getting to know him or Julian; they presented rather their breasts than showing some skills in English, German or any other language – except body language. It was sometimes so hard to find someone reliable. Now he stepped in and looked around to see her, thinking about how to test her to prove her skills. In addition, he was prepared for another failure. He had already understood from her voice that she was a professional, but to be on the safe side, he had to be prepared anyway. He was looking around and it took him some time untill he finally noticed her. She wasn't hidden; she was just sitting with one of the books many girls love to read these days, some story about vampires. Girly stuff.

As he approached her his first thought was: she is normal. Thank you, God!

He said "Hello" and sat down. He shook her hand and looked at her. She had big deep green eyes. She smiled friendly. She didn't move. She had such energy in her body and such depth in her eyes. You could simply fall in love with her although she wasn't the greatest beauty in the world. He was so impressed that he didn't start to talk and they were sitting facing each other. He was just falling into the great depth of her green eyes.

Mia started to talk. Her voice was even more fascinating than her eyes. He concentrated on the sound of the voice at first; therefore, he didn't hear what she was talking about. He took two deep breaths and asked her politely to repeat what she said. She wasn't feeling uneasy or touched and repeated politely:

-I am Anna, hello. So what about this job? You seem to be quite busy and I will not take too much of your time.

Then he was again the old Sebastian, he was the boss and explained her everything. She said she knows English, Italian, Latin and a little bit of French. Moreover, for the first time he was missing the interest of any other thing than work. She was very professional. She didn't use any inappropriate words and she was very polite. He trusted her just from the very first second like he trusted Julian. It was new for him. The conversation was too short for him.

He looked at her more intensely to find out what was going on inside this girl. He had liked her from the very first moment. He didn't even check her skills. He just confirmed to her that she was on probation and she could get a contract if she wanted. She agreed. He said it was going to take some time to prepare the contract and asked whether he should send it to her by snail mail or by email. Does it matter?

Of course, it did matter. She never ever gave out her real address and like everybody else, he got one of her e-mail addresses. She preferred to meet somewhere for the hand-over of the contract.

Great!

He was happy with that solution. He smiled, maybe even too much. Until today, he had never felt anything similar to what he was living through now. He was just happy and had a feeling of meeting the one person for whom he had been waiting for since he was born. Was this love at first sight? Was it so easy to be caught in it? Probably not. It was maybe a fascination, an attraction, a desire. But love? Maybe rather falling in love?

Anyway, he hadn't enough time to catch his thoughts, because he already was in love with her. He didn't even manage to order a coffee and tried hard to hide his emotions from her, altough he was sure, it was so obvious for her to read his mind. She saw a friendly smile in his eyes and she knew he had a good heart. She felt connected to him in an unspoken way from the very first moment. Mia had this kind of rare feeling to like someone for real, to be interested in his values and his life. She knew it wasn't professional and she even thought they could be friends, if everything would be different. She didn't have any friends because of all the relocations in her life and because of pieces of certain memories going around in her head.

Mia promised herself to keep away from people, as far as it was possible. After a couple of years, it wasn't so hard anymore. Of course, you care about people around you, you talk with them, but it is just superficial. You don't allow them to get to know you and you don't let yourself get into their lives. It was the simple solution, even if it was hard sometimes. Mia wasn't the type of person to talk much and didn't need to be in contact with people. At least that was her perception and receipt for her life. The dark chapter of her childhood still hurt her and although she didn't remember much about it, she was three years old at that time, she had the feeling, that the way she was behaving and living her life was the right way. Mia was convinced it was her fate to be among people but to stay alone.

A waitress came and asked what he liked to drink. At the same time, the waitress with Barbie-like pink nails smiled broadly and asked whether he wishes the same extra black coffee as usual.

It was no surprise that Sebastian was popular with the girls. He was looking like Brad Pitt, but he was younger and rather blond. His hair was cut perfectly in dissimilar length up to his ears. His face was welcoming bright and his eyes were friendly, smiling with tiny grey sparkles. He was tall, maybe not tall enough to be considered for a basketball team in the NBA, but with no doubt tall enough for a High School basketball team. Despite his cool style, Mia could see that he was rather sporty and put the emphasis on comfort. He was wearing trainers and jeans. His jacket was yeasty, but had the business presence as well.

He looked across the room and saw a familiar face. It was one of the girls from Julian's club. She didn't work there anymore. Her career in "Sunshine" lasted only two nights. Then Julian decided not to keep her in his team. Julian always had a way with people. He could perfectly characterize any person, his first impression was never wrong. Maybe this was the key to his success. Sebastian was curious what Julian would think about Anna. She wore a simple top in an unremarkable blue colour, and jeans, and she had something inside her that forced him to watch her. Sebastian smiled back at the waitress and looked at Mia even longer.

-Would you like anything?

-Thank you, I already have my tea.

-What are you doing here, Sebastian? – asked the waitress.

-Business stuff.

-Oh, I get it. And how does it work? Why are you not in "Sunshine"? – continued the waitress, apparently she didn't want to leave so soon. Her pink nails were impatiently drumming on the table.

She intentionally ignored Mia and asked more and more questions. Then Sebastian stopped this flood of words and came back to the really important stuff for him. With the same power of a waterfall, he would ask Anna so many things right now. As much as the waitress was trying to get some information she could use for her advantage as much he was trying to let this moment be immortal. He heard about a shot of love, but he never thought it could happen so suddenly like a summer storm. Or maybe it was the calm before a storm.  
Back in reality, he answered the questions of the waitress shortly and then he continued to talk with Anna. As he got his absolutely black coffee everything was already settled, and Anna stood up and wanted to leave. Fortunately, he had her mobile number and could contact her anytime. She said she wanted to drop him a message when she finished her work. Great. Then she smiled, shortly and politely, said goodbye and left.

There was just a yellow cup of tea and a white pot, which she left as the only proofs of her presence there. He was still sitting there with a feeling of happiness. She wouldn't disappear for long and they will meet again. It was a great outlook.

And so it was. She called him two days later and they met again. In these two days, he wasn't as distracted as he expected. A simple feeling of happiness was escorting him. If falling in love was alwys like this he could be in love for years. Being in love was like waiting for a great, friendly surprise. The world became a better place and you really could swear you saw the world through pink shades. An irritated shop assistant in the corner shop wasn't so annoying anymore, a girl walking down the street was smiling even brighter and he was in good spirits from the moment he woke up until the moment he went to sleep. Yes, indeed falling in love was a very desirable feeling.

#8 TODAY HAS BEEN OK

The next time they met again in the teahouse. He checked her translation and was happy with it, as it was really good. He didn't expect her to call so early, and he was a little bit surprised about her speed of work. He tried not to show any further emotions and limited himself to a friendly smile. But her eyes couldn't be betrayed.

Compared to the their first meeting he wasn't as much stunned, he was happy and feeling lucky, but he managed to focus on her words and sentences. He enjoyed this more controlled way of being in love more than the former inability to react. He wasn't paralysed; he was just deeply in love.

Again, she was the first to stand up and leave the teahouse. The third and the fourth meeting went the same way. They talked a little, she took work papers from him or handed back her work and then at some stage she just said "it's late enough" and then she stood up to shake his hand for goodbye. She had very delicate hands, almost like a pianist's. Her fingers were long and thin, but she shook his hand quite determinedly.

Two weeks later the waitress asked him if there was something going on between them. He didn't know what to answer and said it was just business. On the way home he thought not for the first time that it wasn't just business. He wanted to spend more time with her. He wanted to ask her so many questions. Until now, all he knew was that she wasn't a student of English language, probably she wasn't even a student. She was apparently a High School girl with a calm and classy way of living. She seemed to be sportive. As she was standing up it was energetic and powerful, but with the grace of a prima ballerina.

#9 WHAT YOU'RE WAITING FOR

Mia never slowed down. She ran as if it would be a case of emergency, like she would be on the run. She enjoyed feeling the wind in her face and the fresh forest air in her lungs.

She loved running. She tried leaving the city behind at least twice a week and to run through the woods. In Warsaw, it was quite hard to find a park that wasn't crowded with people. People were everywhere and Mia needed to be alone. Running doesn't help when you see happy families everywhere. It wasn't helpful trying to avoid happy people on the streets, but in the woods, it was different. There she could run as far as she wanted and most of the time she didn't meet anyone on her way.

There was no better way for her to channel her thoughts or just not to think as during a long run. Mia didn't get tired quickly and she was pretty fast, at least she thought she was. When she was running, she enjoyed the moment, the silence and the nature. She loved rainy days with their raindrops falling unwillingly onto the grounds. She loved sunny days with sun rays giving her more energy and happiness. She sometimes went running in the evenings, when she could already see the stars in the sky and she just smiled back to these shiny dots above her. It was helping her to get over her past and to collect hopes for the future. It was the only time when she totally turned off herself. At least she had this impression.

She was running, she was moving forward and there was no way back, there was just the way ahead. Running was always relaxing. Running was her therapy.

#10 TELL ME NOW WHAT YOU SEE

Mia never slowed down. That was the impression he got after some meetings with her. She wasn't a control freak, but she was always perfectly prepared, quick and she never stayed longer than it took her drinking up a cup of tea. She preferred fruit tea. For a long time this was almost the only information he got about her. Most of the times she was drinking raspberry and vanilla or cherry-banana tea. The tea always smelt great and she also had a kind of fruity fragrance about her. It was hard to define, but present: something like a mix of flower power and juice essence.

He never had the opportunity to ask anything else than how the work was and sometimes they talked about the translation's topic and he noticed that she was passionate about history. Then one day he had the chance to spend more time with ther than just a silly cup of tea.

It was already December, shortly before Christmas. The days were so short you couldn't even notice them and there was no snow. Instead, the days were rainy and cold with long periods of darkness. People in the streets were very moody. Some were happy because of upcoming Christmas and some were frustrated because of Christmas presents and the stress that comes with buying them. It was one of these days, when they would meet and as always he was waiting for her in the teahouse. For the first time she was late. He didn't expect time to pass so slowly. For the sake of not having to think, he started asking unimportant questions to the waitress.

She gladly talked about some parties and people you have to know. He knew already too much people and he had never been a fan of big parties. Sebastian preferred to celebrate in a small group, with real friends who knew him instead of acquaintances. Then the waitress mentioned she had seen Anna here more often.

-She comes here not only to meet you. She is here almost every second day; she drinks a cup of tea or two, or even three, she eats some cookies and then she is leaving again. She is always very polite, quiet and you don't really notice she is here. And she reads a lot. Sometimes she writes something down, but mostly she reads. She reads different books. She always brings new things: Proust, Camus, Baricco or d'Annunzio. She's a little strange. She's nice, she's polite, she's unproblematic, but zou get the feeling there is something else about her you want to know. But it is impossible to get in contact with her.

In this moment, the door opened and there she stood. Usually she was smiling, but now the smile on her face wasn't real. It was as if someone had glued it onto her lips. Her eyes were not alive. She came in and sat down at "her" table. She noticed Sebastian, but she didn't say anything. He went to her and looked at her. He stood there for a while gaping at her and she sat there without looking at anything. Finally, he ordered some tea and sat down at the other side of the table. She didn't touch the cup. He finished his tea alone and she didn't even move. Minutes passed by and he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to disturb her, at the same time he wanted to know what was happening.

-Are you ok?

She nodded. She didn't say a word and was thinking intensively. Her lip was trembling a little, her eyes were empty and her hair fell down on her face. He said she should go with him. It was already late and the teahouse was about to be closed. She was really late. She nodded without giving an impression of knowing what she was doing. He took her hand and led her outside to his car. She just followed him like a dog follows his master. She took a seat in his car without any reaction, without any resistance. She just sat there. He hadn't got a plan. He didn't know what he was doing. It was so weird.

He wasn't aware they had arrived in front of his apartment. He opened the door and she entered. Sebastian helped her to take off her jacket and took her to the kitchen. She sat down on a chair, starring at the table.

-Do you want to drink something?

She didn't answer. Sebastian looked at her face and couldn't find anything. Was she suffering? Why was she so strange? What was happening?

#11 IT IS ALL COMING BACK TO ME

She can see it in the colour of the eyes in the moment when a person dies. Then every colour is changing into a shade, which is so hard to explain. It is the look of the eyes – in one moment you can still see a person present and then suddenly you know there is only a body left without a soul. She knew this kind of shade. She has seen it a few times before but she wasn't able to realize whether it had any connection to her life until this day or was is just a stupid coincidence. She was taking care of grandma Zofia. She was sitting with her as all the other afternoons and evenings, when she was reading some of her new books to her or made translations aloud and the old lady appreciated it very much. Sometimes she brought some music and played some tracks, which were not such energy shocks like the hard rock of Limp Bizkit or Metallica, but they had some speed, which stimulated your internal energy. The old lady liked these afternoons and evenings.

Today Grandma Zofia died and Mia had to look into the old lady's eyes and saw this kind of shade she dreamt of in the most horrible dreams. Now, on one hand she was very sad because of the old lady's death and on the other hand there was a voice inside her, saying that the past was overtaking her. Moreover, Mia was scared. Everything she was running away from was laughing at her and the fears whispered some promises she didn't want to know. She was afraid of losing her life again. Nevertheless, she knew the day would come when she was going to be confronted with the past and she was hoping it wasn't so far.

The strangest thing for me was Grandma Zofia whispering something. I had to come closer to hear what she was saying. "You have to live, my dear. You are special. Timeless is our life. Don't forget about it." She looked at me and her eyes were not blue anymore. She was dying in front of me and in her eyes I saw all of my fears at once. Moreover, her hands were not warm anymore. They were not shaking. They were not delicate.

I felt cold and hot at the same moment, as I would get a heat attack during a North Pole tour. I thought I am trembling, the world started to rotate around me and I lost my sense of time. I even didn't know my name anymore. I just had this certain kind of shade in front of my eyes and I couldn't replace it with any other picture or feeling. As if I would be just one full thought. I had to go out, I rang for the nurses and the medical staff, and I don't remember what I did next. Now I was sitting in front of Sebastian, he was talking to me, he was watching me very carefully and I tried to concentrate on what it was all about. I felt some fresh cold air, but it didn't help this time. I was a fool of fortune with my fears inside and outside of me. What have I done? What had been done to me? Why did she say it to me? She couldn't speak and I heard her whispering. Maybe it was just my imagination. And why should I be a special one? For what? For whom? And why timeless? Why? You can think you are right or wrong, but that's no reason to stop thinking. Mostly if you have too many doubts and no points on the coordinate system in your life.

#12 TEN FEET OFF THE GROUND

Mia didn't realise how she came into Sebastian's apartment. She trusted him although she couldn't explain it to herself in any way. She was busy with problems on her mind. She tried to look normal although chaos and doubts ruled inside. Sometimes you have to trust your own feelings and follow the direction, which is offered, on impulse. Mia didn't feel anything but fear right now. She had the feeling it started again. She was convinced of it.

That was the scariest part. How do you know whether a feeling is right or wrong? If you have a fact you can prove it, you can document it in a scientific way, you can demonstrate it by formulas or bring proof. If you have a feeling, you have nothing in your hand. You just have an assumption, which can lead you directly to your goal, or to the opposite, it can throw you off your course. If you have a feeling, you can trust it or you can doubt it. In addition, if you have a presentiment you don't want to lose your last hope. In every situation, you need hope to be able to believe that there is much more than just the accountable mechanism of life. You have to keep your motivation alive, which makes you open your eyes after a long, unsettled sleep and which brings you through the day.

She noticed a cup of tea in her hands and drank it. She couldn't say whether it was cold or warm, she didn't feel the taste of it, she just wanted to come back to reality. Sebastian looked at her, worried and asked whether the tea wasn't too hot. He had just made it.

She shook her head, but you couldn't really understand what answer she was thinking about.

-Do you want to talk about it? –asked Sebastian.

-No, I don't think so. - She whispered with certainty.

-You can stay here, I promise I will not do anything wrong.

She didn't answer. Even if she didn't know it, she was very able to fight. She used to be one of the best karate kids and she used to train alone a lot. She was just preparing herself for the worst-case scenario. She didn't know why, but she knew she had to be prepared.

But she couldn't spend the night there. What would her grandmother think? The only grandmother she had. The only one and the most distant one.

"You have a history and you have to avoid making your grandmother doubt you."

That was her goal. Grandma Zofia had already suffered enough. And Mia was convinced she should thank for the care, it was very polite and maybe would have been even charming in different circumstances, but it was over. Now there was nothing else to say. Now grandma Zofia couldn't hear anything, never ever again.

All Mia wanted right now was to go out and breathe the cold air. She wanted to feel that she was still alive. She stood up and wanted to start talking, but her body wasn't reacting the way she wanted and planned. She was just 17 and the affliction she has been wearing almost her whole life was definitely too heavy for her. She had to sit down calmly and think about it. So far, she had tried to move every single thought about her past into the corner of her head where you store away all the stuff you will never need again. And this isn't about some silly or sad occurrences, this is about feelings you never ever want to face again.

Mia had to distract herself somehow.

-Do you have another translation for me? –she asked Sebastian. She looked at him, well focused and saw the negative answer already coming.

And it was a negative answer. People don't work so much right before Christmas.

He saw the tiny bridge she wanted to build between them.

-How did it go with the last translation? Did you like the topic?

She answered with a flow of words, suddenly she was talking about the French revolution and prisoners from the Bastille and before even noticing it, she was already sitting in the main room on the couch and had taken off her jacket. She kept talking on and on, described the prisoners, the poor unfortunate souls, and described their sufferance, as it was her own. He was listening and hoping that he was doing nothing that could discourage her from talking. However, apparently she just couldn't stop talking and was mentioning details and emotions that he had never thought about before. She put her whole soul into this speech and he almost felt like he was suffering like the prisoners of the Bastille. She talked and talked and Sebastian was astonished: he never wanted to hear a girl talk so much!

Her voice was so beautiful and warm, he could listen to it for the whole eternity. He could hear her speaking for the whole time. Listening to her was like listening to his favourite music. She was like Tchaikovsky's violin and piano concerts or music by Dvorak. And then, just a minute later, she was like Black Eyed Peas and Rihanna or like James Bond's Martini: Shaken, not stirred.

#13 FROZEN

Then she stopped. She just stood up and went out. Without any goodbye. It wasn't polite, it wasn't normal. Nevertheless, she was extraordinary the very beginning.

Sebastian just sat there and listened for any sound of her coming back, but it didn't happen. She was already on her way to nowhere. The music in his head stopped to play.

I just had to go running; I couldn't concentrate on any topic, even if I was talking about some history stuff. I needed to have an empty mind and to lose the only picture I had in my head. I didn't feel how cold it was and I didn't notice the snow under my feet. Do you know the feeling when you want to cry, but you can't? Why was a strange old lady so important to me? Why did I just have to remember my past? Why do I care so much about it? It should not be so personal.

I captured myself standing on a green meadow and looking at a gorge between snow-capped mountains. I was standing there, it was a warm place and I felt like home. I breathed deeply a couple of times and I was calmer than just some moments ago. I saw this gorge and I wanted to go there, to hide there. I was standing there like a damn sculpture, not able to move. But I was calm again. I closed my eyes and didn't move anymore. Then I felt a wave of wet air and I was astonished: what is going on? I opened my eyes and I noticed I was almost standing in the furthest corner of the snow-covered street. There was a car passing by and in a slow motion I saw a wave of snow coming towards me. It was as if time would be slower for me, as if a second would take a couple of minutes and a minute a couple of hours. I saw this wave of snow coming towards me and if I wanted, I could step back and it wouldn't reach me. Nevertheless, I remained where I was and observed all this happening in slow motion. It was a new and different experience for me. Then, once again I heard the whisper of the old lady: "You have to live, my dear! You're special. Don't forget this."

The next day she dropped by and wanted to get her school bag back.

Sebastian had already thought about when she was going to notice it. The bag was the only colourful thing she had. The colours were not vividly, but they were cheerful: blue, brown, and some red. The bag with a coloured check was plain but interesting. It was girly. On the other hand, she wasn't as girly as other girls. She didn't put much make-up, if at all. She didn't have coloured fingernails nor colourful patterns on her shirts. In addition, she wasn't as free as any other person was in her age. However, there were two things about her, every girl should have: she was classy and fabulous.

Sebastian was at home, planning some business matters. He was a little astonished when he saw her. She was present again, with her good-looking, self-controlled style. Mia was just there.

-Why don't you come in? – He offered.

She stepped in, somewhat unwillingly, but still keeping a normal face, without a smile and without yesterday's absence. He wanted to know what had gotten her out of her mind and how she managed to be so self-controlled again. It looked a little bit crazy to him. And she was so fascinating at the same time!

She didn't say a word, except a short "Hello".

-So, how are you doing? - Sebastian asked. She smiled at him and needed less than a second to find an appropriate answer.

-Fine, thanks. Sorry for yesterday. Do you mind, if I just take my school bag back and I am gone.

Sebastian didn't want to lose her so quickly, mostly because he had her already in his house, almost private. It was always so simple to say and so hard to realise: choose love, because it is always a good time to start loving someone. Now was a good time to start loving her.

-Everything's fine? – He wanted to be sure and somehow he knew he wouldn't get the real answers.

-Yes, thank you.

-I liked the way you were talking yesterday. You seem to have a huge knowledge about the French Revolution and the prisoners of the Bastille.

-Thank you.

-And I hope you didn't burn your tongue with this hot tea I served you.

-No, everything is fine.

She didn't want to allow any discussion and didn't leave any space for him to talk much. In addition, he didn't want to see it as an interview. Therefore, he just went to his room and came back with her bag.

-Thank you very much. - She said and was already gone.

She left him alone with her delicate smell in the air and many questions in his head.

#14 STAY ANOTHER DAY

He arranged to meet her between the Christmas Holidays and the New Year. As always they met in the teahouse. He wanted to wait for her there, so he already arrived an hour too early. He was surprised seeing her there, sitting and reading a book. She noticed him right in the moment he came in, when he hasn't noticed her yet. He didn't have any work for her, so he brought some pages from the Internet. This job was just an excuse to meet her.

She was sitting at the table she was always sitting at. A book was lying next to her hands. It was one of Agatha Christi's crime stories. He approached her slowly and before he asked whether he might take a seat, he bowed a little in front of her. Like a real gentleman.

-Yes, please. – Mia answered politely. She was looking wonderful in her normal clothes.

She wore a white plain cardigan beneath a simple modern deep blue cotton jerkin.

-You're an hour too early. – He noticed.

-You too.

She was her old self again, just like the first time and the memory of this first meeting crawled into his mind just like a bad illusion. They didn't talk much; he gave her the prepared text and apparently wanted to leave the teahouse.

Sebastian risked an action and caught her wrist while she was standing and stretched her hand to him for a goodbye.

-Anna, please don't go. We can use the hour we have.

He looked at her with a spaniel's eyes. She wasn't prepared for it. Sebastian used her moment of doubts and stood up as well. He didn't let her hand and instead he took his jacket.

Together they left the teahouse. The streets were snow covered and it was cold. Sebastian was trembling a little, but he didn't let go of her because he was afraid she would turn around and walk away. The sky was grey and cloudy. The alleys were almost empty. Just the rumour of the main streets echoing around the corners remembered them that they were in a big city.

-You're cold; I don't want you to get cold. – said Mia and smiled faintly.

Sebastian moved his shoulder in a meaningless gesture. He wore only his chocolate brown pullover and kept his black leather jacket in the left hand. Mia shook her hand while she smiled.

-You're unbelievable. – She said.

-Why? The weather is fine! A real Polish winter! – He smiled back and pointed with his left hand towards the sky.

There wasn't enough snow on the streets to have a snowball fight, but it was enough to be a winter wonderland. The buildings around them were as grey as the sky was and big, fat, black birds picked on naked trees, which were rather rare in this part of the town. It wasn't the romantic atmosphere, Sebastian wished for. If it would be up to him, he would take her to a dinner or to a theatre. Now he had less than an hour with her and no plan what to do. Finally, he wanted to impress her and not to be ridiculous.

-What do you do in your free time? – He asked after a while.

Mia looked at him cautiously. She had always something watchful in her eyes, even if she was cool and in a good mood like now.

-I go running, I read books, I go running...

-It is a short list. – Sebastian smiled and she smiled back. Indeed the list wasn't the longest one.

There were no more things she could name. She thought about what else she was doing. She was working, translating, typing, listening to music, but finally her life was limited to books and running.

-And where do you run?

-It doesn't matter. The most important thing is just to run.

As she was speaking, her eyes became bigger and sparkling.

-I run, too.

-Really? – She asked politely, but she didn't catch his thought and didn't ask any further about it.

It was quite hard to have a conversation with her. Sebastian wanted to ask her thousands of questions, but somehow there seemed to be a border and he was afraid he wouldn't manage to cut through. Deep down inside, he felt that she didn't want to be asked about anything. She carried a secret she didn't want to share. With every question he would just scratch at the surface. Sebastian didn't intend to make her step two steps back when he had already forced her to make one step forward.

Finally, the silence was visibly comfortable for them both, it wasn't embarrassing. They were enjoying the silence and for the first time Sebastian understood what the songwriters wrote: you can enjoy the silence. Mia perceptibly liked his company.

He was holding her wrist delicately and although he was freezing internally, he remained relaxed outside. They just walked. It gave them much joy and allowed them to take a deep breath and to enjoy the moment. If you would ask Sebastian, they could end the day with a trip to the moon and back or with a journey along the sunset.

#15 ONE, TWO, STEP

One month after the walk with Mia, Sebastian was sitting in the teahouse. He longed for some warm tea and he was frozen to the bone. He was thinking about how little he knew about her.

Unexpectedly a waitress came to him. He already knew her, her name was Aneta, and she was in love with him, but he wasn't interested in a relationship with her. It was just the usual thing in this city and for people of this age. Sometimes people met, spent some time together and then one of them was hit again and fell in love with somebody else. Getting together was just the beginning, staying together was the challenge. Maybe that was the reason why there were not many couples amongst his friends.

For this reason he didn't like to come to the teahouse: formerly known girls, ex-girlfriends, ex-TTYS-waitresses.

-So you have a new girl, huh? – asked Aneta.

-No, not really. – He answered after a moment.

-And what is going on between the two of you? Are you going to celebrate New Year together?

This was actually what he wanted: to invite her to the New Year's party at the Sunshine. But so far he didn't even manage to ask her. Somehow, he thought his best friend would help him to solve this situation. Nevertheless, how should he explain what was going on here? Until now, there had just been some short episodes, almost no contact apart from work and specific matters. Until now.

Today's walk changed the situation a little bit. It wasn't just business anymore. It was more. It had become a very private and personal thing now. Even though had to warm up right now and wasn't able to drive his car home, because he was all frozen to the bones. However, he showed her that he could walk an hour without a jacket.

Sebastian was sarcastic because he was angry with himself.

Afterwards he asked himself how to explain the lack of contact with a girl he was attracted to. Enjoying the silence was yesterday. Now he should do something. If falling in love meant such a mess in his head, he didn't want to be in love anymore. How can you be sure of something in one moment and in the next you're already convinced that you had been foolish or even worse?

He gained nothing, despite being such a communicative person! Damn it! In this anger, he took the phone and called her. Without any "Hello" or "Hi" he asked:

-What are you doing on New Year's Eve?

-What? – She didn't except such a question. After a short while, she answered:

–I don't know yet.

-Would you mind to spend it with my friends and me?

-Oh... - She sounded unsure.

That was his chance! Her doubts and uncertainty were his hope! Now he had just to convince her somehow of this idea. But this was the problem. He wasn't prepared for having to convince her and had no arguments as he had expected a rejection. But objections?

This was one of the moments when you feel even more foolish than just simply foolish. You literally watch the success of your action flying away, like in a cartoon, when the ground suddenly breaks open and you fall into a deep gorge. Finally, a 10t bloc would fall on your head. In the more adult life, it is called a cold shower. Sebastian was already frozen.

He felt too confused and couldn't come up with any spontaneous ideas, hopes or wishes. All he wanted was a simple "yes" and instead there wasn't anything but silence.

-Are you there? – He wanted to assure himself.

-Yes, undeniably.

-And, what do you think about it?

-Thank you very much for your invitation, but I have to decline.

-Why? –Mostly all questions and doubts can be carried in one simple question.

-I can't explain it, but it won't work. Sorry.

-Oh. - He was disappointed and he couldn't hide it in his voice.

She didn't know what she had done to him: he felt like crushed ice already. A barkeeper could take a piece of him to use it for a cocktail. He was so ice-cold! Nevertheless, Mia definitely noticed his disappointment and she was unsure of what she should do. She liked him and she was embarrassed because of this one time when she totally went wild and lost control. Sebastian had saved her from falling. He had caught her and she now felt obligated to return at least something. Furthermore, she didn't only feel obligated, she simply wanted to do him good this time.

-If you like – she started – we could go running before.

She didn't care that it sounded a bit crazy. You don't go running before the party of the year! Well, she wasn't the person to go to a party. Therefore, she had a free range of choices.

Mia thought about it and added:

-Or after. Name the place, the time, and I will be there.

-We will make a deal: I am saying "tomorrow" and you are saying where and when. – For the first time Sebastian reacted in the right way. He had his reflexes back.

-I will send you a text.

Before he got the chance react, she cut the connection without any further word. He wasn't able to tell her how happy he was. He didn't feel like on remote control anymore. Finally, they started to communicate for real.

#16 THE LADY IS A TRAMP

It was a snowy, but bright afternoon as they met in the city centre. She texted him to meet at the entrance to Łazienki, one of the most beautiful parks in Warsaw. She was dressed elegantly and apparently she had already been there for a longer time and didn't intend to jog. She was graceful and sporty. Her hair was put together, which gave her face a certain expression. Her big green eyes were hidden under sunglasses. As usual she was wearing inconspicuous colours, grey this time. Grey hardly ever attracts attention. She wore her black coat, which underlined her skinny physique and black boots. She stuck the legs of her jeans into her shoes and wore a white shawl. She had her hands in the pockets and seemed to have been standing there for a while already.

He was too happy to see any shadow on her face. She didn't look as tired as she felt. When she noticed him, she approached him vigorously, the way she usually walks.

He said "Hi!" and she said "Hello".

-So you don't want to run today? – asked Sebastian. He didn't choose sport things for today, either. Somehow, it wasn't convenient to go running on a day like this!

Mia shook her head.

Then they were walking in silence for a long while. The snow, barely there, but still enough, let the trees and plants appear with a cover like in an Immortal Iceland. The cloudless sky was bright; nevertheless, the first street lamps were already on. It was a late afternoon and usually it would have been already grey outside, as it had been in the last few cloudy days.

They walked through the park and none of them knew how to start the conversation. She seemed to be relaxed and pleased by his company, he looked as if he had too many questions right on his lips and didn't know what to ask first.

-Are you coming here often? –He broke the silence between them and she looked at him.

-Sometimes, not often.

-Why did you choose this place? Why are you not coming to the party?

-Parties? It's not my stuff. I am not a party-girl.

-But today is one of the most important nights of the year!

-It depends on the person how important it is. I don't celebrate much.

-What are you doing instead?

-Reading, working, running.

He had already gotten the same answer before. She was really just running and reading. Incredible!

-And studying?

-I am not old enough.

He was right; she was younger than he thought when he first saw her. So, she was a high-school girl.

-You're new in town?

-Quite new.

She didn't look to the sides or at him; she was rather focused on the way in front of her. He was a confused because of all the questions he had asked and apparently there was still no interest from her side to get to know him better. That was disappointing. He kept quiet.

They walked here and there; sometimes they heard some people on the other side of the park who were rushing because of the upcoming party. It got darker and it looked like a snowstorm was approaching. One could feel the excitement in the air and he couldn't understand how she could stay so calm the whole time.

-So where are you going to celebrate New Year? – He asked as they were already walking for half an hour without saying a word.

-I am not going to go there, but I wish you will have a great party.

He thought she just accepted this meeting to do him favour, in an act of mercy for the poor boy who fell in love with her. It would be unfair to say he didn't enjoy it, although he didn't like walking around without having a conversation. He was able to enjoy the silence again.

He saw her and felt connected to her more than before. She seemed to be pleased that he didn't force her to talk. And then he proposed to give her a ride home, she refused by saying that she didn't live so far away from here and it wasn't worth taking her home. She insisted to not to go to the party and celebrate.

-The fact I don't celebrate doesn't mean you should stay home as well, if you already have other plans for a long time. – She added as goodbye.

She was right. His whole world should not turn just around her. Still, you tend to focus more on the aspects you love and appreciate in a person than on those that you don't. In addition, right now the New Year eve's party didn't look so promising to Sebastian anymore.

#17 SPARKLE ME

The great party wasn't as great as he was hoping for it to be. There were many people celebrating as it would be the last night of their life, but he was quite absent-minded. "Sunshine" was one of the best clubs in the town, hip, hot and simply "in". He could go there whenever he wanted, because he was the best friend of the club owner. Now, after having had two drinks, he would usually go to the dance floor and rock the night. But today, he was instead sitting in a private lounge and avoided any contact to girls who were sending him passionate looks.

Sebastian wasn't able to flirt; he wasn't able to celebrate. He would rather skip this party, go outside for a couple of minutes and walk along the snowy park alleys with her. It wasn't because of the party. People were celebrating, the atmosphere was gorgeous and people were loud and excited.

Then his best friend showed up. Julian was always good-looking and in the middle of girly rumours. He could easily get a job as a male model for Calvin Klein or D&G. It was sometimes annoying to go out with him, because Julian attracted all these looks to himself, mostly from girls and women who wanted to at least flirt with him, but also from guys, who were jealous because of his grade of attraction and saw him as the greatest competition around. With time, Sebastian got used to it and hardly noticed this difference between them anymore.

In his current, rather sentimental mood, he looked at his best friend and was thinking how often such girls were not interesting for Julian. Up to now Sebastian hadn't noticed how boring it was for his best friend to be at the centre of attention of a crowd of girls that wanted to get him, touch him, speak with him. Julian's face was friendly, but being his best friend, Sebastian saw some boredom beneath it. Was Julian really so accustomed to his female fans and was it already the normal state of being for him?

Looking at his best friend, he just remembered some sentences Julian said, which would let one assume that it was indeed normal for him to ignore wonderful girls, because he already had enough of their adoration. Sebastian understood this for the first time today.

What had changed today? Was it possible to change your way of thinking within a day? Was it possible to turn all your values upside down just because of a girl?

-So, how much fun do you have? – Julian asked as he finally reached the personal lounge and was "girl-free".

-It's OK.

-One of the greatest parties in my club and you are just OK with that. What is wrong with you? –Julian laughed and took a closer look at his friend. – You are either out of your head or you haven't had enough drink.

Sebastian wasn't too drunk and didn't want to drink more.

-I am just not in a mood for a party. I have a feeling that these days are going to be interesting. I expect some good days. Moreover, I don't like to celebrate anymore.

Girls and boys were dancing on the dance floor. They moved like a mass of professional dancers, maybe because most of them were usually partying here together. Black Eyed Peas and other pop and dance stars were singing from the boxes and the dance floor was living its own rhythm. The volume was turned up, the boys were swinging, jumping, and the girls were moving, waving. The party was hot like a spotlight.

Just two fellows were standing motionless, looking doubtfully at this vivid event, whereas the doubts were not so obvious on Julian's face. Only his eyes were tired. His body was sending opposite signals.

-It is the New Year, dude! Who doesn't celebrate such an occasion?

Sebastian didn't want to mention Anna and mumbled something unimportant.

Julian gave him a blank look and was slightly curious about this attitude.

-A girl?

-A girl? – Sebastian asked artificially surprised. – No, no girls.

-Yeah, right. If you don't like to talk about it then just say it directly.

-I don't want to talk about it.

Sebastian focused on the moving, waving mass of colourful dancers.

Julian didn't look at Sebastian; he was observing the same mass of happy shiny people, which were swinging, moving their bodies, arms, legs and feet.

-Do I know her? – Julian asked unexpectedly.

-I just said that I am not going to talk about it with you.

-OK, calm down! – laughed Julian and instead of sitting down he kept standing up watching the dance floor with a business-like look on his face.

-It is always the same, it repeats itself: a party here, another party there. Sometimes I'd rather walk out and keep on walking without coming back. – said Julian surprisingly.

Until now, they didn't talk much about important things. They were indeed best friends, and from Sebastian's point of view, they enjoyed an uncomplicated life with uncomplicated problems where there was no place for real sorrows.

Sebastian was shocked because it was exactly what he was thinking about. He had never noticed how good his friend was in so-called mind-reading, and it felt a bit strange. They had never talked about it and maybe it was just a coincidence, but it was kind of strange.

-There is a girl, she is a great person, but I don't know what to think about her. – Sebastian admitted after a while of swaying back and forth.

-And what do you feel for her? – asked Julian without looking at his friend, busy observing the dance floor and the bar.

-I don't know, I like her, I think.

-And what is troubling you? Doesn't she like you?

Sebastian was annoyed by this point of view. Julian smiled about it a little.

-No, she does like me, I suppose.

-So, where is the problem? So where's the girl? – Julian still didn't look at his friend; he was busy with other matters. He squinted his eyes and that was the only visible sign for Sebastian that he did give attention to his best friend.

-She is different, not a party girl.

-I thought you don't want to talk about it.

Sebastian mumbled something and then he added:

-I thought it, too. Well, it is not important. Forget about it!

-You have to invite her to your birthday party in March.

-I will, but it will not be a huge party like last year.

-Yeah, for a girl who doesn't like parties it is already a sign of interest. Go for it, brother, just do your best and you will get it.

With this optimistic outlook, Julian ended up their conversation and went away to check something. He didn't even look back.

Sebastian was sitting alone and observed the happy dancing mass. He already had some ideas for his birthday party and was hoping for her to come. On the other hand, he was afraid that Julian would make a bigger impression on Anna than Sebastian was expecting and the whole connection between them would fall apart. It was his sorrow now.

Here he was, mourning about a day in three months, and he didn't even know what would happen in the next two weeks between him and Anna. Was this another sign of being in love? To plan the eternity without having a short-term plan? But wasn't it so near? In the end, it was just a day after a day after a day and multiplied by ten and then you would look at the calendar and it already was almost March.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, and so life was going to pass by. Sebastian was thinking about Mia. The past spent with her was already gone and he was collecting memories, the future was yet to come and surely, it would bring new hopes as well as some new doubts. Yes, it was complicated. Moreover, the present was so mean that he felt like a love fool now and he would really like realise the idea of Julian: just leave the party and do your thing. It wasn't possible. Even away the party, he wouldn't get another chance to spend his time with Anna today.

Knowing Julian, you were sure he didn't take girls very seriously. He just talked with them about uncomplicated things and he could get the girls he wanted to. Girls were just like his dolls and it was sometimes frustrating to see how he got such a range of enthusiasm from the female side. Otherwise, there were two or three girls whom he treated indeed seriously, but they were just exceptions from the rule. Julian was generally not taking people very seriously.

He was always nice and polite, but he wasn't very serious. He was a womaniser, but he didn't hurt girls, didn't collect them like challenge cups. He was playing fair. What could he do anyway against such an effect, which he caused unwillingly?

Sebastian understood his best friend and thinking it over again and again, Sebastian was sure, he wouldn't switch places. The seats were taken and the cards were already on the table of life. Everyone has got something and can bluff or can be really powerful. Everything is up to you.

Sebastian's enthusiasm was smashed. Until now, there had never been a girl between them, even if Julian didn't know Anna yet. What would be if Anna would prefer Julian? It could be dangerous. It could be risky. A tricky situation requires special means. Sebastian thought it would be the best if Julian wouldn't meet Anna, at least not now. It wasn't the time and it wasn't the place.

Sebastian decided to make the best of the moment and went dancing. The energetic mass of happy shiny people absorbed him and it helped him to forget his longing for Mia.

#18 WHATEVER GETS YOU THROUGH THE DAY

The 1st January was kind of a strange day for Mia. She woke up and went to the kitchen. She lived in a small apartment with her grandma. There was a kitchen and three bedrooms, one for Mia, one for her grandma and one for guests, although they never had any guests. Everything in this apartment was simple and there were no personal things around, if you don't count Mia's books in her room. In the kitchen, there was a letter on the table and Mia looked surprised at the piece of paper. She didn't talk much with her grandmother and didn't know what to expect.

She opened the letter and read:

"My dear grandchild, you didn't mention your school trip and I would be a bad grandmother, if I didn't allow you to go with your new class and get to know your class mates better. As a late Christmas gift I paid for your trip."

Mia intentionally didn't mention this silly trip; she just didn't want to spend any time with people she was going to leave soon, anyway. What she was wondering about right now was the reason why her grandmother was behaving like this. It wasn't normal. It was the first gift in Mia's life and she didn't want to ruin anything, but she felt a need to explain the situation.

She was moving from one place to another since she was three years old. First, she lived with her Aunt Renata, her father's sister. It didn't last long, two years only, and she had to be given into care of the only family member she was still having: an old lady which didn't like her. Mia knew that her grandmother was just feeling forced to take her and if it had been possible, the old woman would have given her back as soon as possible. On her 18th birthday, Mia wanted to leave the grandmother and live alone. It was already an almost hopeless life for her. If she lived alone, she would have more books and wouldn't be forced to spend so much time outside. It would be less complicated than it was right now.

What was she supposed to do? Should she write: "Thank you very much, grandmother, for your generosity"? Should she thank her personally? Should she even accept such a gift? Overwhelmed with indecision she started thinking about the trip. Her class had decided to go to Karpacz, it was a small city in the Polish mountains, near Sniezka, the highest mountain, which was easily conquered in two or three hours of walking, not even climbing, but walking. The sight of the mountains alone made it worth going there.

Mia loved mountains and she dreamed about them almost every night since she was a child. Then on the way there was Wroclaw, one of the other big cities in Poland and one person Mia really loved lived there. She already had an idea how to go with her class and to combine the it with a trip to Wroclaw.

It was one of the brightest days in her last months.

#19 EVERYTHING BUT THE GIRL

The class trip was going to take place in the second week of January, to be followed by two weeks of winter holidays. Mia planned to stay at least one free week in Wroclaw. She talked about it shortly with her grandmother and didn't forget to thank her for the nice gesture.

As she was packaging her bag, she was very excited. Then her cell phone rang and she saw Sebastian was calling. She reminded him of her plans and leaving the town for two weeks and promised to drop by. Since the walking in Lazienki they had met often, sometime she even dropped by and read books or did some work for him.

After the death of grandma Zofia, she had at least two afternoons off and she felt comfortable enough to sit in his apartment and read. They didn't talk much. She didn't want to destroy this connection and he didn't want to force her into anything. He was pleased she was there. He got already used to her presence in his guest room as if it would be the most normal thing on earth and as if she already came to visit him for a long time.

On the last afternoon before her class trip she was sitting in a chair with her legs crossed and read some old-fashioned literature. She was wearing a long beige cardigan and a white shirt. She was wearing her favourite blue jeans. She was looking friendly and warm.

She was focused on the book, but she noticed him watching her every now and then. Sometimes she put the book aside and smiled at him. She was waiting for what he was expecting her to do.

He looked at her every now and again and thought how to ask her about coming to his party. She noticed his rising excitement and didn't make it easier for him. It was great how it was and she didn't want to have anything deeper. He was a nice, friendly person who didn't ask her about things she was doing and it should be enough for both sides. She trusted him from the very beginning; there was a kind of connection between them, even if they didn't talk much.

Now the status quo was apparently changing. She didn't like changes. She was opening up to him slowly. Nevertheless, she didn't want to rush into anything emotional. He was the first person whom she had allowed to step into her life. These steps were small and tiny as if she would balance on a spider web between the trees. Sometimes it was enough for her to observe the world from the perspective of an earthworm: then everything was simple and uncomplicated and she couldn't look back into her past.

I liked to sit there in a chair, in a room with personal things like photos, pictures, books. It gave me an impression of being an average girl and it was so safe, so wonderfully calm and idyllic. It was the kind of home I would like to live in. I never had a home with mum and dad waiting for me to come and eat a meal with them or to talk about how I feel or what they are working on. I guess I didn't ever have an opportunity to learn how to let someone be a part of my life and I was just learning how to let myself go with somebody I like. It was like doing one small step after another hoping one day I will be a normal person with the ability to live with people and not only to be around them.

For Sebastian she was a fancy riddle and he tried to understand her but he got too little points for any analysis. She was there, she was present, she made him feel so calm and so well, he didn't want to speed up this relationship. She was like the Rose for the Little Prince – something he couldn't understand at first, but what he was deeply loving, more or less consciously. She was like a broken dream, which had to be put together, which had to be glued together and it needed time to find all the loose pieces. Nevertheless, he already started to look for these small parts and he knew he had to be watchful and careful.

When she was reading something with interest, she used to bite the right corner of her underlip and it looked so lovely. When she was thinking, she tapped her forehead with her delicate hand and squinted her eyes in a certain manner. She seemed to be always concentrated on what was going on around her and he had an impression (when he observed her for a while) that she noticed much more than she showed.

Then he thought it didn't make sense to be so obsessively concentrated on what was going on around. His observations almost seemed to be self-created. They were just silly. This wasn't a drama nor a thriller; it was life. She was special, maybe a little bit bizarre, but she was the girl he loved and for him she was just extraordinary. She was fascinating and he could watch her all day and night. Now she was about to leave him for two long weeks. He already thought about possibilities to get into contact with her, but it seemed to be too much exaggerated from his side. They were not even a couple and they were not obligated to report anything to each other.

It was a normal way of enjoying the time when she was here. He was doing his stuff, she was doing hers, but they both felt comfortable with it. A steady exchange of looks and smiles was a prelude to something that was growing between them. It was like domesticating a wild animal: every day you make a little progress, even if you don't notice it. And one day you would achieve your goal. Finally, constant dripping wears the stone.

#20 MY WAY

The journey was long. It took them more than ten hours to drive the 500 km, because there are almost no highways on this route. That was the reason why the class was supposed to gather at a parking area near its school not later than at 9 p.m. where the coach was already waiting for them. Mia went there alone; she didn't want her old grandmother to walk home alone in the dark. Her grandmother said goodbye to her and wished her fun. That was the second surprise for Mia who wasn't used to such gestures from her grandmother. She wondered if there was something hidden behind these actions.

After everybody signed the ascendancy list, they could finally take their seats in the coach and Mia was sitting in the back of the bus. Her classmate Justyna was sitting next to her. Justyna apparently wanted to talk but Mia wasn't in the mood of leading a deep conversation, so she pretended to fall asleep. Indeed almost everybody was falling asleep soon, even if one or another had promised to stay awake for long.

Mia opened her eyes after she was sure that Justyna was asleep and looked out of the window. The clouds were looking very cosy, from some transparent parts up to parts darker than heaven itself. The moon was hiding behind some of them and didn't want to be interrupted. The consultation-hour should come later.

It was a kind of clear night and the landscape didn't change much for a while. She thought how often she was observing such games between nightly characters in the sky. She was a person who doesn't sleep much and well and when she was awake at night used to look up to the moon like she would be wishing for it to answer her or just to wish her a "good night". Sometimes, she could sleep much better during rainy nights, because the raindrops were calming her down. Their constant rhythm was like a march melody for soldiers. Tonight it was one of these nights when she wouldn't sleep well, because there were too many empty rooms and too much light out there.

Mia travelled to Wroclaw a couple of times a year and knew already some parts of Poland. She tried to remember one particular night when her nightmare started. It was always the hardest part for her: how did it all begin? She didn't know. She could only remember parts, some pictures captured in her head and some feelings, which were frozen in her heart. She knew there was a table and a knife in the hand of her father. A man she didn't know was lying on the table. Her father was a doctor and apparently, he was performing some surgery on this man in their house. The sparkly knife caught her focus. The lights was playing with the shadows in the rest of the house. Darkness ruled everywhere except around the table and on the table. This light was very strong and she couldn't look into its direction like you cannot look directly into the sun.

That was the first picture. She heard her farther say: "I didn't give life, so I won't take it." Then there was her mother screaming and the strange man who was talking loudly. Actually they were almost fighting.

Maybe that is how it started? This strange man was apparently very tired, unfriendly and was giving orders, which her mother didn't want to follow. Then Mia remembered blood, everywhere was blood. Even her hands were red and it smelled like blood everywhere. This smell was even more horrible than all the blood she saw. The moon was hidden behind clouds, almost like tonight.

She shook her head and noticed her hands were trembling.

In this moment, the coach seemed to be a trap from where she had no way out. She wanted to breathe fresh air and see the morning light. She was tired and scared. She didn't want to be caught by her puzzled memories and she didn't know how to switch the pictures in her head. She suffered for a long while until she finally fell asleep exhausted by her recollections.

It wasn't a good, relaxing sleep. It was more like staying awake while being asleep.

When she woke up her head was heavy and her mouth was very dry. The air wasn't fresh and some people were snoring. She drank some water and looked around. Almost everybody was sleeping. It was early in the morning and the scenery changed to a more familiar landscape. They were passing Jelenia Gora and there were just approximately 20 kilometres left to Karpacz. Jelenia Gora reminded her once again of the pictures she had in her head before she fell asleep and her mood didn't change to the better. She looked at snow lying lazy and sluggish everywhere and that picture was the first positive one during this trip. Sun rays broke through and the sky was almost without any clouds. It was just the perfect weather for winter sports.

Then Mia looked at the mountains at the horizon. She had always had the impression that mountains had been frozen one day and since then they were not able to move anymore. However, inside them she imagined a great power and there was life, but everything was caught up in the tough and inflexible shell. She could almost see the first breath of the mountains, their first move after thousands of years. She always had this feeling when she was looking at mountains.

Here and there, somebody woke up and started to talk to class mates who were already awake. The wonder of enjoying the silence disappeared between spoken words.

#21 AND THEN I MET HIM

You never know when you fall in love. It can happen today, it can happen in a week or in a year. To some it happens quite often, others fall in love only once in a lifetime and some missed their chances too often and then they die without knowing what they missed.

Mia was on her way to a drug store. She always used to go to this drug store when she lived in Wroclaw. And now every time she visited Mrs. Nowak. Mia was in a rush, because she wanted to spend as much time as possible with Mrs. Nowak.

Actually, Mia should not even be here, in Wroclaw. Since two days she was on a school trip, but for this day something else was planed than climbing on the highest mountain in the region, organise snowball matches, and just to walk and enjoy the landscape. The Carpathian Mountains are a range of mountains forming a long arc across Central and Eastern Europe, making them the largest mountain range in Europe. No area of the Carpathian range is covered in snow all year long and there are no glaciers, but now there was snow everywhere. It was great to walk and to feel the cold, soft and cuddly snow under her feet, to sense the winter on her face, to see how it was snowing and just to run around almost all day long. The class trip was uncoordinated. They could do what they wanted to do. There were no trips planed and it was more like holidays without parental control. It wasn't boring to walk along the hiking trails; it was just difficult to avoid her classmates. Therefore, she decided to go to Wroclaw for one day, which wasn't so far away. It was a trip of only 3 hours.

Mia decided to use one of the few possibilities to visit her old friend and previous neighbour. Mrs. Nowak was from the generation of Mia's grandmother and she was the person who was the grandmother, which Mia always wished to have.

Mia always used any opportunity to visit the old woman and this was just a great one offered to her. It would be a sin not to take it.

So, she came to Wroclaw, one of the biggest Polish cities, where she had spent 3 years of her life. When she was living with Aunt Renata, she got to know the nice neighbour and their relationship grew from saying "good morning" into something bigger.

Now Mia was on her way to the drug store. She gladly offered to go and buy medicine for the old lady.

The snow laid on the streets and it wasn't easy to walk through. Still, Mia was running. Wherever she wanted to go, she was running. She loved to feel the wind on her face and the air in her lungs.

The distance between the drug store and the Mrs. Nowak's apartment wasn't long. It was five minutes, just around the corner of the block and then across a small street. It didn't even take five minutes to get there, even with the streets being full of snow and the winter road service not managing to salt the sidewalks. For the old woman it was much longer, the stairs and the slippery sidewalk made it very difficult for her to walk. When you're young you don't perceive such distances like this. As everybody knows, the old age requires special attention.

When Mia entered into the store, the first person she saw was a guy who was buying some medicine against a bad cold. He was about 30-35 years old, his nose was red like the one of Rudolph and his eyes were tired. He was wearing dark winter clothes in which he was looking smaller than he really was. He was looking at the glass between him and the sales clerk and Mia followed his unsettled eyes.

Near to him stood an old lady and behind her a boy with his school bag.

Behind the counter was the saleslady she already knew, a woman of middle age with two little kids at home. She wasn't the slimmest person, had always sleek hands and a warm smile on her face.

There in a corner was a very attractive guy and Mia was amazed that she hadn't noticed him from the very beginning. He was handsome with his short-cropped brown hair and sapphire eyes. He was maybe 25 years old, not older, and he didn't seem to be a student. He was too well dressed to be a student, or he was from a rich family. By all means he had a sense for dressing. He was wearing elegant winter shoes. It wasn't typically Polish; it wasn't typical for a young man.

He looked at her with the same enthusiasm in his eyes. The sparkling sapphires glittered even more. However, his face stayed just at the level "nice". From the corner of his mouth a smile crept upon his lips. Mia looked away, but she couldn't really take her eyes off him. It was like an invisible power would direct her look in his direction and force her to stare at him. Her heart was speeding up and her cheeks turned to a shade of red.

She looked at him every now and then and Julian let her pass when his turn arrived. She thanked him with a shy smile and went towards the counter. While she handed over the receipts, she felt his eyes on her back. She felt a very warm and pleasant ray at her back that thrilled her inside. Maybe it was the fact that the drug store was well heated. Or maybe it was because Mia knew that the next two, three hours would be a pleasure and very relaxing. Or maybe it was simply the first spark of love she felt in her heart and which she didn't want to admit to herself.

Mia took the medicine and turned around quickly.

The stranger with the well-suited winter jacket and the interesting eyes didn't look at her. Mia was amazed how disappointed she felt about this. Inside she wished that this stranger would look at her and smile. However, it didn't happen.

While she was passing him by, she tried to sense his smell. He smelled nicely. It was a complicated, but lovely mixture. It was unique. Never before had she met a person smelling half as good as he would.

She walked past and returned to Mrs. Nowak.

The way to the drug store was a pleasure. She was running with her usual enthusiasm for running. The way back was a pleasure, because she was flying. She felt lightweight and charmed.

It was another Mia who returned to the apartment. Mrs. Novak told her to sit in the kitchen. Mia always loved to sit in the kitchen. She loved to observe people cooking, baking, washing up, preparing salads, and sandwiches or being busy in any other way. She loved the smell of herbals and tea. It was fascinating for her to look how a tea bag was dyeing the water and how a cake was growing in the oven.

As Mia entered into the kitchen, she looked around quickly and noticed that nothing had changed. The table was still standing below the window, the furniture was still old and dark brown, pots were standing stacked on the cooker, and the smell of cake with plums and cherries was the strongest scent in the air.

She took her favourite place on the kitchen bench behind the massive table and here she could lean back with her right arm on the windowsill. Then Mia took a pillow into her arms and hugged it. Her legs landed at the other end of the bench. She felt comfortable here.

-You didn't change. – said Mrs. Nowak cheerfully. – Already on the first day you came to visit me, you took this place and you sat down just like now. Your couldn't be seen behind the table, you were too small. And you wanted to see what's happening outside. You could watch people from the window for hours! And now you're already an adult. Old Time, that greatest and for the longest time established change of all!

Mrs. Nowak smiled in a jolly way and sat down at the opposite side of the table. She put her old, wrinkled hands on the table and shook her head with amusement.

-So, tell me what's going on in Warsaw? – asked the old woman calmly.

Mia looked at her and smiled.

-Oh, nothing new. It is always the same. Same homework, same teachers... I already visited the Warsaw Castle and there was nothing impressive. I liked the National Theatre, I invited my grandmother to go there with me like we traditionally do it every year, but she said traditionally that it is a sin to spend money for culture and I should invest in real work. – Mia smiled as she imitated her grandmother's tone.

Mrs. Nowak had to smile as well. She could even imagine how Mia's grandmother was complaining and making bored and irritated grimaces.

-And I already booked tickets for next week for us. On Tuesday, we are going to the Polish Theatre.

-I would be glad! – The old lady was smiling. She always appreciated it when young people were fascinated by art. She was a former art teacher and often organised trips to theatres. She took Mia often with her, even if Mia was the youngest viewer and although Mia's grandmother didn't like it. – It is a pity how expensive it is now to see something worth seeing. Earlier we had so many good stage plays, many good directors and actors and now it is all different. – Mrs. Nowak was sad about this fact and apparently, she lost herself in memories. – I remember when we went to a theatre for the first time and you wanted to see the backstage. Nobody noticed where you went and I looked for you everywhere. In a couple of moments, the play was about to start and the lights were already off. Moreover, I stood there, in front of the stage and was calling for you, and then the curtain opened and you stood there, in the middle of the stage and you were so ashamed. Before I even noticed, you were already jumping off the stage and you wanted to leave the theatre. I told you that we had to wait there until the end of the play. I couldn't leave my pupils alone. Afterwards you were very glad that we stayed there. It was the only time when I saw you in a spotlight. It was the only time when I saw you being insecure.

The old woman gesticulated a little while she was talking. Mia gave her some minutes to come back to reality.

-You always knew what you were doing. This was my impression.

Mia didn't answer. She waited for the next sentence.

-And now you are here and you look differently. I don't know what changed, but you are a young, self-confident lady and you have changed.

Mia didn't see it. She didn't perceive it. When did she change? How did she change?

-You should be with people more often. You always avoided contact to others. You didn't play with other kids, you didn't talk with people, you always stuck to your books and you rather lived between fictional heroes than in the real life.

Mrs. Nowak stood up and turned around. The cake was already done. She wanted to take the plate out of the oven, but Mia was faster, she was suddenly next to her and took care of this task. She opened the hot oven and using just one kitchen towel she took the hot plate out of the oven. The kitchen smelled of cake and baked fruits and Mia took the smell in with pleasure. She loved cake with plums and cherries.

Although the cake was very hot Mia cut a piece and ate it. Mrs. Nowak looked at her with joy and her criticism wasn't serious:

-You're like a hungry wolf! don't burn your tongue!

Mia smiled back while she wolfed the piece from her hand. It was really hot! But the first bite is almost the most beautiful one. You know what is expecting you, but still you feel this strange insecurity. The moments of waiting for a good surprise are happy moments.

After Mia had finished she took two plates from the cupboard, cut two more pieces of cake and put them down on the cupboard. In the meantime, she prepared tea and when this was done, she put everything on the table in the middle of the room.

Mrs. Nowak smiled. Mia always helped her in the kitchen. It was a pleasure to have her here. She was like a ray of light. Her presence alone gave her energy, even though Mia didn't talk much.

When they were sitting at the table, Mrs. Nowak asked what Mia was up to.

-I still go running every day. Furthermore, I still read books and my grandmother still doesn't like it.

They both had to laugh. Mia didn't ask why Mrs. Nowak wasn't eating the cake. She knew her old friend wasn't allowed to eat many sweet things and she was just baking cake when Mia came to visit her. To tell the truth, the whole plate of cake was made for Mia who usually wasn't eating much, but was still able to eat the whole cake with plums and cherries alone. It was a kind of wonder.

-And any boys in sight? – The old lady looked at Mia watchfully.

-No. – Mia answered shortly, maybe even too quickly.

-So he is not your boy, yet. – concluded Mrs. Nowak.

Mia shook her head:

-I don't think we will ever be more than good friends.

-My dear child, love is not always a flame of fire; sometimes it presents itself as a solid ground. It is better to build a serious relationship on something that is concrete and hard like a rock. Emotions are very passionately, but most of the times they are not reliable and not stable. My deceased husband always used to say that love is burning in two ways, sometimes it is burning like litter: rapidly, fast, uncontrolled and exploding, but only for a short time, and sometimes it is burning like coal: slowly at first, but it is indeed a durable and solid fire. It is the only advice I can give you. Anything else, you already have under control for years. I never had to worry about you.

#22 4 MINUTES

Mia didn't notice how quickly time had passed. It was too late when she looked at her watch. She jumped up rapidly and explained:

-I am so sorry, but my train is going to depart without me if I will not get there on time!

In a rush, she put on her shoes, she didn't even close her coat, Mia just threw it over her shoulder and was almost gone. At the last second, she turned around, came to Mrs. Nowak and kissed her quickly on her right cheek. Then she was finally gone.

From here, it would take 30 minutes to the main railway station if Mia would run as fast as she could. An easier solution would be to take a tram, but Mia wasn't lucky and the tram was already passing her. In addition, even with a tram it wasn't so sure that Mia would reach the station in time.

Not to lose further precious minutes, she kept on running, hoping she would be fast enough. Normally it wouldn't be a problem for her, but today, the snow was slushy under her feet and she had to focus on where she put her feet.

She liked to run for fun, for pleasure, in her free time. She didn't like to run when she was stressed by a deadline or under pressure. Now she was running for her life. Early this morning when she was escaping to the bus station in Karpacz, her two classmates wanted to go with her. They have never been in Wroclaw before and wanted to visit the city and if Mia could travel so far away, then they felt encouraged to do the same. There wasn't much time for discussions and Mia finally gave in. They wanted to meet at 4 o'clock at the railway station to go back to Karpacz. The train was departing the station 10 minutes later. It was quarter to 4 pm on Mia's watch as she looked at it in the kitchen and realised how late it was.

Somehow, she was convinced she wouldn't make it in time, but she was a fighter and the pressure motivated her to run faster and not to pay any attention the her breathing, her lungs starting to protest. To run a long route with moderate speed is a different thing than to run fast for a long time. The first one is possible, the second one is quite unrealistic. Every human being is capable to run fast for some minutes, but you cannot give a hundred percent for almost half an hour.

Mia felt her muscles start to object and she knew she had to slow down. And she had no time to slow down.

She still kept running at an impressive speed, even if it wasn't easy to pass all these people on the sidewalk. They seemed to be annoyed by her behaviour. She visibly destroyed the dynamic on the streets.

When she was about to lose her breath, she saw the railway station and her thoughts couldn't be heard anymore. The main entrance is located north of the station, on Pilsudskiego Street, with two additional entrances located on both ends of the main hall. The rear entrance is placed behind the tracks, to the south, facing Sucha Street. She focused on the building. She admired the architecture. A Royal Prussian architect designed it in the mid-19th century and it still looked impressive with two thin towers watching over the main entrance.

Mia held her breath and came into the station like a rocket-woman. She stopped in front of the departure board and in a second, she saw what she was looking for: platform 4.

She started to run again, but this time she wasn't able to be fast enough. There were too many people with suitcases, cases, chests, trunks, bags, children, dogs, cats and the whole railway station had its own rhythm. Mia tried to pass people politely, she almost danced between them and as she finally got to platform 4 she saw the train starting to move.

Her first reflex was to jump on the departing train already in motion. This thought scared her a little. One of the popular actors, Cybulski, died here in Wroclaw while he was attempting to get the train in this way. Mia wasn't able to move. She was tired and she didn't reach anything. It was humiliating. She tried to get her breath back and bowed down a little, while she put her hands on her knees.

She was angry. She was disappointed. In addition, she had to find another way to get back now.

#23 DRIVE MY CAR

Julian was driving quite slowly, thinking about the girl he had seen in the drug store. He was wondering about her, because he was sure that he had already seen her, although they didn't meet in the streets or somewhere else. Julian had dreamt of her once. It was strange, because he hardly needed any sleep and as far as he knew, he wasn't able to dream as human beings were. Nonetheless, he saw her eyes. Not the entire face, not the entire body, but he knew her eyes.

In the first moment, he just sensed the smell of baked cherries and plums. Then he saw her shape and only then, he saw her face. If she didn't smell so fruity, he wouldn't have noticed her so easily. In addition, when she stepped in and looked around and he saw her eyes, he wasn't able to move at all. He felt like being under an unspoken spell, and he was clearly bewitched. He couldn't move, he couldn't stop to stare at her and it surely made a careless impression instead of showing himself rather humbly.

She looked at him shortly, hard to notice every now and then. He couldn't decode what she was thinking. She smiled politely, delicately. He even let her go first just to steal some more moments with her. He was really impressed. The only thing he knew at that moment was that she was extraordinary. It wasn't about her appearance. She was looking beautiful, young but there were no emotions on her face. Nevertheless, she made a friendly and welcoming impression.

Now he saw her again. She stood at the end of the sidewalk at the main gateway in Wroclaw and waved. He recognized her clothes and her green, deep green eyes. Although she was standing over 500 meters away from him, he already saw her eyes. They were unique.

Julian noticed a car in front of him, which wanted to stop, and Julian didn't intend to let it happen. He overtook it and stopped in front of her.

Mia saw a blue Ford Mustang suddenly overtaking a grey Opel minivan. This blue car was a wonder. It looked unbelievable! If it hadn't a pop culture status until now, then it should get one. Mia remembered her grandmother watching the crime thriller _Bullitt_ , when Lieutenant Frank Bullitt drove a modified version of this Mustang. An attractive version of the coupé stopped in front of her, which was sold in 1968 only. She was fascinated by this car and came closer. At the same time, Mia was confused by the driver's manoeuvre but when she saw Julian's face, she was sure of what she was doing.

Now, when he could see her face closely, he was overwhelmed. She was his fate. He already knew it.

-Are you going in the direction of Jelenia Gora? – She asked shortly, insecure.

-Yes, indeed. – He nodded.

Mia didn't look more confident; she still had some doubts.

-I promise I will not drive like just now. – Julian added quickly.

She smiled and asked to be sure:

-Will you take me there, please?

He nodded again and bent over to open the door for her. She got in and fastened the seat belt. He couldn't focus on driving his car and looked at her almost permanently. He wasn't sure whether she noticed it. Usually nobody was able to notice his quick moves because he was quicker than any human being. Now he finally found what he was waiting for a very long time. He was too astonished to spread his joy because it could just scare her. That wasn't his intent.

She was still a little confused. He saw it in slow motion as she looked at him twice after she got in. Was she wondering as well why they met again?

She mentioned that her name was Mia and then he introduced himself with his current name: in Poland, he was called Julian. This name wasn't so popular nowadays; but when he came to Poland, it was. In the time before World War II, he knew many guys called Julian. In addition, one of them was Julian Tuwim, one of the greatest Polish poets. Today he was mostly known for his contribution to children's literature, but Julian knew him from other areas as well. He liked his early work like "In Lurking for God" or "The Dancing Socrates", before he became a virtuoso of word and language and a children's hero. It was mainly his humour and his satiric point of view, which made Julian one of the biggest fans of Julian Tuwim.

He asked himself what her name really was. Probably Emilia... He knew some girls called Emilia, and they were called Mia. But this name was still quite rare, especially in Poland. The short form was rather "Emilka" or "Emisia" than just "Mia". It was unusual.

Now he could remember his dream more clearly. When she got into the car, he remembered to have seen her face in his dream. So it wasn't only her eyes he has dreamt of. Her face was exactly as imprinted on his mind for centuries. She was even prettier than he thought she would be. Her eyes were the most fascinating part about her, at least for the moment.

For him, it all started in the moment when he saw her eyes. Over years, the picture in his mind became clearer and sharper and now he could finally see her entire face and her person in real. Now he got her finally sitting next to him and he had enough time to notice every detail he needed to locate her. He tried to drown his excitement and concentrated on his skills. However, it wasn't an easy task. He allowed himself to savour the moment and just looked at her repeatedly without a word. She was just observing the route and seemed not to notice any of his sparkling joy attacks. She was concentrated and looked worn-out. Her cheeks were red as if she has just practised some exercises, but her breath was regular.

In addition, the smell of her skin was extraordinary. She smelt very nice and so unusual. There was some of the cherry-plumb essence as well, but it wasn't so obvious anymore. Strangely enough, she smelt of the city as well. He was in many different places already, he already saw many things during his time on earth, but this smell was something new for him. She was very attracted to him and he already felt an obsession for her before he met her.

Now she was real, she wasn't a dream anymore. This feeling of obsession rose inside him. Julian was just overwhelmed. If he hadn't had his extraordinary skills, he wouldn't be able to drive any car under these circumstances.

She looked at him shortly and she noticed he followed every single movement of hers. She didn't know what to think about it. She already knew him; she couldn't remember when she had seen him except previously in the drug store. From such a near distance, he was even more handsome than she had thought. He was good-looking and had very clear-cut features, almost classical, lovely brown, middle-short hair and he seemed to be in good shape. He was muscled, but not too much, and he had a perfect skin in the colour of marble, maybe a little more vivid, otherwise he would look like a corpse, but a very handsome corpse. His clothes were well matched, showed style and his wealth. His car was proof enough of his untold wealth. Such new cars of this price class didn't just stop to take someone for a ride. Such people didn't look for any contact with average citizens.

Then there was this look in his deep blue eyes – somewhat curious, somewhat happy, and somewhat distant. Above all everything about him seemed to be stylish. That was her second thought. The first one – where had she seen him before – still occupied her thoughts in the back of her mind.

She was a little bit annoyed by the fact, she didn't catch the train and she hoped she had hoped to get a bus from Jelenia Gora to Karpacz. The distance between Wroclaw and Jelenia Gora was approximately 100 kilometres and if his speed wouldn't change too much, they would arrive there within an hour and 15 minutes. She should have enough time to get a bus and to meet her classmates, which were surely worried about her. Unfortunately, she had left her cell phone in Karpacz, it was impossible to communicate with her colleagues. Damn it!

Anyway, this guy made her curious, and he didn't even try to ask her anything. Why did he overtake the other car? Why was it so important for him to stop there? She was wondering about it, parallel to all her other thoughts. This time it was very uncomfortable for her to sit there and notice no sign for a small talk. It was quite unusual. People just do small talk. She missed that chapter. Otherwise, what do you want to talk about with a strange, handsome and apparently rich person? Maybe it was even better not to talk? Why did he stare at her all the time? She could guess quite well what is going on in people's minds, but he was a riddle for her. Apparently, she absorbed his complete attention and he didn't even say a word.

She felt that this fascinating stranger observed her very intensely. She was used to being observed, but his look had such deepness and such intensity, it was almost impossible to sit there and relax. Her heart beat quicker and her mouth was dry. She had a strong feeling he is not a perverse creature, but she couldn't guess what he was about.

Finally, he pulled himself together and noticed she was waiting for his next step. He was astonished he couldn't read her inner feelings and emotions. Usually, he had no problem to get into somebody's internal state of mind but she was different. How come?

Astonished by this fact he told himself to behave like a very normal human being: "Say something, anything." He ordered himself.

-So what are you looking for in Jelenia Gora? – He asked.

His voice was like a sound of mountains for her: well-defined and strong, but at the same time calm and indeed warm.

-Nothing special.

-Do you live there? – He was interested in her answers. He had to collect as much information about her as he could.

-No, I am spending holidays there, a school trip.

-I was convinced school trips are well organized and pupils don't have to catch a ride. – He smiled and he looked even more handsome than before. She smiled back, but rather confused. -No, it isn't a part of school trip, it was just a spontaneous idea of mine and some of my – she thought, "friends" would be too much, but "class mates" sounded even worse, so she chose the first option and said it loud – friends.

He noticed she hesitated for an instance when choosing words, but he didn't show it. His perception of time was different compared to the one of human beings and that's why it was always so easy to read people's minds, even without reading their emotions. However, her short period of putting words together to a sentence was unbelievable tiny. If he didn't know she was a human, he would take her almost for one of his kind. Nevertheless, she was human. She had a beating heart, she was breathing for real, she was trembling because of the cold and she was comfortable with the current temperature in his car. He almost never changed his air-conditioner from the factory setting of 22 degrees. It was unimportant for him, he couldn't feel any temperature, any trembling because of coldness or any heat because of warmth. He didn't need oxygen to live and his chest movement of breathing was just a self-taught bluff.

-Friends? And they left you?

-No, they just stuck to the plan. If I will not get back on time, they will be there to trick our teachers.

-And this is what you learn in school? – He laughed.

-No, of course not. – She protested with a wonderful smile.

-If you like to, I will even bring you to Karpacz. It is no problem for me.

-I'd prefer to explain to my friends what is going on.

-As you wish.

He was some kind of fascinating. She could listen to him for hours. It was such a soothing sound! Amazing! His laugher was a pleasure for her ears. He had the same thoughts about her.

-And you are driving here and there without a goal and chauffeur girls? – She laughed.

-No, only you.

-So, I am extraordinary. – She laughed even more. She didn't see herself that way. It wasn't a good sign to catch attention, but in his case it was a rather interesting than a scary thought.

-One of a kind... – Julian whispered while looking at her.

She wasn't used to getting compliments and blushed. Somehow, she felt a fever overwhelming her head, but it wasn't a sign of an illness, it was a very thrilling and snappy feeling.

They didn't talk much. Apparently, talking wasn't their thing right now. Julian was out of words for the first time in his life and Mia was never the person to tell stories and explain things with many words and into detail.

Within an instance, an hour had already passed and they almost reached their destination.

Then she suddenly felt really bad feeling. It came out of nowhere and was there suddenly, in her heart, in her stomach. She almost collapsed. He noticed it in slow motion and stopped on the side. He sprung out of his car and went to her side of the car, opened the door and helped her to get out.

She was almost as white as the snow lying on the fields. He thought she would throw up.

-Are you OK?

She wasn't as present as she would have liked to be. She took in everything around her, but she wasn't able to communicate. There was a heavy pressure on her chest and it didn't allow her to breathe. Something was smashing her heart and tearing it apart. It was impossible for her body to get enough blood without the heart pumping. There were dark clouds in her mind which poisoned her thoughts and overwhelmed her with their cruelty and uncertainty.

Mia stood between Julian's car and snow-covered fields and he helped her to stay on her feet.

He didn't know how to react. He was much stronger than she was and had to be attentive not to hurt her by holding her too tough. She was like china.

Mia noticed he was worried, but the dark clouds in her head told her it was a very bad feeling she had, a presentiment of danger. This darkness took over her mind and then left her as quickly as it had arrived. This presentiment however remained as well as Julian's shoulder to lean on.

She finally took a short breath and then another one, she breathed in deeper and her heart started to beat slowly. She was white as a sheet and very tired from this sudden attack.

-Are you OK? How can I help you? – He asked her with sorrow in his voice.

-It's OK now. –She whispered. Nothing was OK right now, but she had other problems to solve.

She already knew this feeling. It was the same feeling she had when she was three years old. She was playing in the backyard of their house and then she couldn't breathe for a while. This darkness had caught her and held her in its claws for a moment and then it disappeared. Exactly as right now... It was an awful feeling; you think you will not survive it. It hurts incredibly inside. You are scared and frightened. You don't know what is happening. Your heart stops beating and you know a dark storm is coming. A real frightening storm is coming and you cannot stop it. When you are lost in this presentiment, it is the only thing you are aware of.

Mia stood motionless and Julian held her until she could breathe again. She seemed to be very scared for a moment and she had sufferance written on her face. Afterwards she wore such a strange expression that he couldn't decode. She was calm and controlled herself professionally. She was on the other side of the mirror.

I knew it was starting once again. He was back. He was my most scary nightmare since I could think. The message was the same as last time: there will be some victims and there will be much blood. I just knew it, but I didn't know other parts of this plan. I knew my fate would bring me there. I just had to wait until I get more information or emotions leading me there – to another massacre. I had to stay calm to read the signs around me. Then I looked at him, the stranger was observing me and holding me with a sad look. I let him notice I am fine now and I tried to smile at him, just to make his sorrows go away. It wasn't one of my best smiles ever, I guess it wasn't even a smile and that is why he didn't believe me. I shook my head and he understood I didn't need any further help from him. I wanted to be prepared for the worst scenario, but I didn't even know what it could be.

Think, girl, just think! What is the most precious for you in this world? Grandmother or Mrs. Nowak or Aunt Renata? From these three women I loved Mrs. Nowak with all my heart. The other two women were my last remaining family members and family itself is the most important value for everyone, even if you don't always love it. As I saw a memory of Aunt Renata in front of my eyes I got a feeling of getting a hole pierced through my middle. It was a long, painful stitch. Then I got all the answers I needed. I just had to go back to Wroclaw and check what is going on. I got scared and wasn't able to move for a second. Then there was the problem with this stranger. Julian had to get me to Jelenia Gora that was just some kilometres away, just a few minutes of a further ride with him. And from there I would find a way to get back to Wroclaw.

She told him everything was fine and sat down in his car. Within a second, he was already sitting at the steering wheel. She was surprised by his quickness, but it wasn't important for her right now. She was so scared inside and trembling, she hoped not to show it in any way.

-Are you sure everything's fine? – He wanted to be sure. He couldn't read anything from her behaviour. He was sure she wasn't OK. She was so much not OK.

Mia nodded without a word. She was occupied by her thoughts and any further conversation didn't make sense.

Julian saw he was losing her and he didn't have enough information to find her. Of course, he could use his special skills, but it wasn't allowed to attract anyone's attention. It isn't always like this; the more you are trying to stay undetected the more attention you are drawing to yourself? Especially when you are getting emotional... And this was emotional. He had some moments of weakness, but they were never connected with a girl like Mia. He had the girl from his dream next to him and she was a little different from all the people he knew. He got to know many people during his stay on earth.

He arrived to the main railway station and she thanked him quickly and got out.

Julian was sure that if he didn't act, he would lose her. It wasn't the plan. He parked his car on the street in a way it didn't draw any attention at least at a first glance. It wasn't even important, because such a car is always attracting attention. Then he just disappeared. He became transparent as if he was a ghost. Like this, he followed her to the train station. He saw her waiting on the platform.

Then he heard a train approaching the station, although it still was impossible for any normal person to hear it by now. He saw the locomotive and a female voice started announcing a train from Wroclaw coming to the Main Railway Station at platform 2. Everybody should step back.

She remained in the same spot and didn't move. She was like a rock – stable, white and calm. In addition, a kind of energy was spreading from her person.

He came closer, but not too close. She was just two steps in front of him. Her smell was very delicate and rarely noticeable. If he didn't know where she was going to, he would lose her quickly. Other smells were much more perceptible.

Some minutes later Mia was already in a group of her classmates and Julian was standing some steps further away from them. She said she couldn't go with them to Karpacz, she had to do something. She didn't explain much and her friends promised to cover her from the teachers. Unfortunately, they had to get the last bus to Karpacz and there was almost no time for talking.

-Are you sure you are not coming with us? – asked one of boys and she nodded and apologized once again.

Then they said goodbye and her classmates had been kind of relieved to meet her and to know that she was OK.

As they were gone, she looked at the departure board. It wasn't perfect for her. The train should stay here for two hours and only then go back to Wroclaw. She was losing two hours right now.

He observed her and tried to figure out a new plan. Obviously, she wanted to get back to Wroclaw. You didn't have to be as smart as Sherlock Holmes to get it. He had to convince her to go back with him.

She moved in his direction and looked at somebody or something.

-Is there anybody? – She asked quietly.

Did she notice his presence there? He had to act and the best solution was always the simplest one. He ran away from the platform quicker than anybody could perceive, even if he would be visible to people. Then he looked around and after he was sure, no one was watching him, he turned back into his human form.

Julian walked to the platform and saw her standing alone just a few steps further than she was standing some seconds ago. She was apparently on her way. She looked at him and was astonished:

-What are you doing here?

-I just saw your "friends" without you, so I got worried about you. – He tried to speak every word with the same tone, but she got his ironic undertone.

-Thank you for your request. – She said coldly. - You don't have to; I can take care of myself.

Her protest didn't change his plan.

-So, what are you doing here? You are not going to Karpacz anyway, so where are you going?

She hadn't enough time for even a small talk, so she just passed by and went through an empty hall of the main station building.

She looked back and didn't see him anymore. Before she noticed where he was, he was gone. She thought, he was still on the platform and she just exhaled. This guy was strange. She couldn't get him. Everybody she had met so far, was so easy to forecast but he wasn't. It was very strange. And then Mia opened the front door and wanted to leave by the main entrance and she saw him in his car, right in front of her, just a couple of steps away. She was flabbergasted. How did he manage to get here quickly? It was impossible. If she hadn't had this bad feeling inside her and if she hadn't had a good feeling about him when she saw him for the first time, she would have never got involved into this.

-I am going back to Wroclaw, is it on your way?

She was too mixed up with her presentiment to think about a strange guy who could help her right now. Of course, the question came up why he was just going to Wroclaw, as he had only arrived from there and such back and forth wasn't very logical.

-I just got a call and I have to drive back. Get in or get off. – He added quickly without a smile.

She wasn't convinced completely, but she didn't have time. She knew the faster she got there, the faster she would know more about everything and the puzzle would be solved. She hoped that she would breathe easily.

Mia jumped in the car and he drove away at the moment she closed the door.

Mia couldn't concentrate. There were many small stitches, which were pricking all over her body. She got a hot flash and her fingers started to tremble.

He didn't ask anything. He was just driving. He didn't even look at her like on the way to Jelenia Gora. Apparently, he was just focused on the way. They were too fast according to speed limits, but they could have driven even faster if it would have been up to her. The stitches started to annoy her. There were different kinds of pain and they didn't allow her to concentrate on anything. All she wanted was to be able to think and be able to judge the situation she was dealing with.

He tried not to stare at her, but he noticed she wasn't so concentrated and didn't sense his observations. He had already graved her face so deep into his memory that he could recall every detail from the deep green of her eyes to her reaction to stress, when she was biting her lips.

Usually, he would already know what was going on. He could easily read emotions, which made it possible for him to evaluate a person's behaviour. He felt a chaos in her soul, but he wasn't able to get inside of her. She came across like one of his own kind. However, it was impossible – she couldn't belong to them, because she was human!

Having this thought, he was wondering how it was possible. Apparently, she was faster than the average and he couldn't read her mind. These two things didn't allow him to relax. On the other hand, she wasn't as fast as he was, not even nearly and therefore it was to be doubted.

Mia and Julian didn't exchange a word. Minutes passed by and they were sitting exactly as in the beginning of this ride. They passed A4 and Bielany Wroclawskie and were already coming towards Wroclaw. If you have never been in Wroclaw or to any other big Polish city, you have to know how to find your way around in Poland. Not every big street is one of the important ones. Moreover, the shortest way through a city is often not marked by signs. Following the signs would always take much longer. He knew this city and he didn't need any advice.

Julian didn't know where she wanted to go. At the crossing of Aleja Wisniowa (Cherry Alley) he had to stop because of the red light and she just jumped out of the car. He saw it very slowly: she unfastened the belt, opened the door and jumped out. She just said "Thank you" and ran away. If he hadn't had this car, he would just go after her. It wasn't hard to get her. But he was sitting in the car and he had to leave it somewhere.

Ignoring the red light, the hateful looks and the hooting, he drove to the right side of the street and parked his car in the first available spot, which was definitely no parking area. Julian didn't care, he got out of the car, made himself invisible in less than a second and ran into the direction he saw her running for the last time.

However, he lost her. There were many people walking in the pedestrian area and they all carried quite strong smells with them. He had already lost her smell at the crossing. He ran here and there, but he couldn't find her. Julian didn't know into which direction she was going, which made his search even more difficult.

He was running back and forth and people on the streets just noticed a cold breeze on their faces. Julian was too slow, even if he was much quicker than a fast car. She was gone. He had lost her.

Julian was irritated, disappointed and mad. His special skills didn't help him to find her. The only thing he knew about her was her first name and that she was on a school trip. It wasn't much to start with. He could run and check which class booked the hostel of course and it would be quite easy to find out who she was. At first, he had to wait here in Wroclaw, and look for her. This was what his inner feelings told him: to stay here and be watchful. That was the reason why he didn't give up and continued his search.

#24 I HAVE A FEELING

Driven by her emotions, she ran away from his car and wasn't able to say more than "Thank you". She was almost knocked down by cars, which had green light and started driving off quickly from the crossing to get a green light on the next crossing as well. After a little chaos on the crossing, she hastened on and for a second caught a glimpse of the Red Water Tower supplied water to the residents of the southern districts of Wrocław. She ran into the direction of the Jewish cemetery and then she was already there – in front of the door to the apartment of her aunt Renata. Now she knew it was her final destination. She stopped and breathed in shortly. She was tired; she tried to run as fast as it was possible.

She wanted to ring the bell, but she noticed that the door wasn't closed. She pushed it carefully and the door opened slowly. When she stepped into the apartment and she knew, it was already too late. She could smell blood and it was enough to assume, it was all done. She also knew that her aunt always used to keep the house perfectly tidy and now all the drawers were pulled open revealing their secrets. All sort of stuff and plants were lying all over the floor and their flowerpots were broken. It looked like a tornado hit this room – pure chaos. Room by room she checked whether something was spared from destruction. But she couldn't find anything. The last room to check was the bathroom and she already felt knew she would find something she doesn't want to see there.

She touched the door handle and wanted to open the door.

Right in this moment, police officers arrived and she couldn't hear anything at all anymore. People's lips were moving, officers were walking here and there checking the rooms, and then they took her away from the bathroom and held her against the wall. They kept her head towards the wall and didn't allow her to move.

Everybody seemed to be disgusted and some had even heaved the gorge. She stayed calm, and in one moment of less control, she quickly looked back over her shoulder. She could see her aunt's hand sticking out from underneath a white material that was hiding the rest of the body. The smell was awful. It smelled of blood, an old smell, full of aggression and it reminded her of times of greatest suffering.

#25 DAMAGED

She was crushing down internally. Nobody noticed it, but her heart was beating so fast that it could have easily jumped out of her body. She already knew what is going on, but she couldn't explain it. As one of officers asked her to identify herself, she showed her ID and they told her, she had to go with them to the police station. She just wanted to get some minutes alone in this room. They left her alone in there with two officers at the door waiting for her. They said she could take as much time as she needed.

At this moment time stopped for her. Everything seemed to be much slower than it should be. She could even swear she was hearing police officers talking but their words were hard to understand, because they were talking so slowly.

With her own speed, she went from one room to another and looked at the mess. Almost everything was pulled out of the wardrobes. The furniture, most of it elegant and distinguished, usually closed and hiding all the personal things from a stranger's eyes, was now revealing everything, naked and ashamed. She could feel a kind of satisfaction in the air. It was the satisfaction of someone she already knew, but she couldn't remember his face. She knew it was a guy. The same guy that already walked through her memories. He was here. He left her a message, but she couldn't read it. She could breathe in his satisfaction by every step in this apartment. She could feel much more emotions around. She felt angriness and bravery. However, satisfaction was the strongest of all. She felt very insecure and lost, but not terrified. She was overwhelmed by all the emotions she could perceive in these rooms, as if these emotions were described on sticky notes and as she could see all of them and read them.

Mia was upset to have lost her aunt, but she didn't love her enough to be devastated by her death. She was still able to think rationally and to analyse the situation. It was part of a riddle she had to solve as fast as possible. She knew this was just a beginning and it was a part of his plan. She wasn't scared, but she was quite insecure and it made her feel like being a three-year-old girl again. She felt lost and crushed, because she had lost her family now. She lost her future and her dreams and there was no return. This stranger was tied to her fate and he made mistakes, but she was paying the price.

It was a strange feeling to be able to sense his presence but not to see him. It was weird to see the usual order has come out of control. She asked herself: Did my aunt suffer? Why did he miss me? Was he waiting for me and killed her instead of me? What was his plan?

Mia looked around once again. It was so quiet and calm now. She let herself drop on the floor and sat down in between all these muddled, chaotic things that were so familiar to her. Here her aunt's blue dress, over there a part of the wardrobe and she was sitting on a blanket, which used to lay on the couch. She closed her eyes and saw her parents waiting for her with open arms. They were smiling and calling for her. However, this wasn't the time for going into their direction. It wasn't the moment for being weak. She had to keep the faith. She had to keep up her hopes. Faith wasn't always based on logic and experience. Doubts didn't have the same basis either.

Mia was very scared. Apparently, the true test of character is not if we know how to manage certain situations, but how we behave when we don't know what to do. She wasn't prepared for this. She was so not prepared at all.

#26 MY GIRL

His friend looked worried. Sebastian wanted to ask what is wrong, but he was too occupied with his own problems. He didn't see "his girl" (as he used to call Anna) for days and she didn't answer his calls. As if she disappeared and he even thought about calling the police to search for her using every means possible which would make this search easier.

They were sitting face to face without looking at each other. They didn't exchange a word. They were two poor unfortunate souls contemplating about such similar things. Julian was ahead, he had already read the sorrows of his friend. It was always the same reason: a girl. This girl seemed to be important for him, even more important than all the other girls he dated before. She seemed to be an interesting person and wasn't speaking much. Sebastian wasn't the type of person who hardly talks. He was always talking. This change was interesting, but it wasn't new for Julian to see people changing their habits when in love. Sometimes you do strange things just to show yourself you are a good person for people you care about. He would be his old self again, when he would get bored with her. It was always so easy to understand Sebastian.

It is either about a girl, honour or money. Other things were not worth mentioning. The troubles with girls? Oh, it was a piece of cake. Julian didn't intend to look closer into Sebastian's love life. His own shoot of love was much more important. It was the first mystery in his life he was confronted with.

Julian had read books about it. He even saw real love between human beings a couple of times. He knew some Romeos and Juliets. It was always a very strong connection when two people in love became almost one person and one heart. Their thoughts were almost the same, their state of mind was almost the same and their willingness to sacrifice for each other was always on their minds, even if it remained unsaid. It was a chain of love which connected them so deeply that they became more than humans. When people fell in love, they felt happy and lucky. However, not every love was so strong that the two were prepared to do anything for each other. If this was the case, human beings would have been shining like stars in the sky or like giant spotlights in theatres.

Sebastian was thinking about a girl. She was surely a nice girl, young and fascinating, nothing else. Julian couldn't see the complete picture, because Sebastian wasn't sure about his feelings for her himself. That was the impression Julian could perceive from him. Furthermore, in his opinion it wasn't even important. As experience had taught him, Sebastian wasn't the one for deep emotions, he fell in love quickly and would flirt for a while. Sebastian kept getting together and breaking off again with girls he knew. But Julian could never understand how Sebastian could think the same way about himself, Julian. He was always talking nicely to girls, he was always lovely, paid some drinks, danced, smiled, but there was nothing else below the surface. He wasn't attracted by the human nature. The more indifferent it was to him, the more people saw him as an object of desire. Females felt sexual desire and males wanted to have him in their friends' circle. Whatever!

Therefore, Julian was sure: he had to find his girl. It was a completely different thing. He wasn't allowed to travel now. He had to stay with Sebastian and watch over him. He was Sebastian's babysitter although his best friend didn't know it.

It was annoying. Until now, he hadn't been limited and for the first time he felt restrictions. Until now, the rules of his so-called family had never been in discrepancy with his way. He felt worse than a teen that is not allowed to go to a party and was put under house arrest. He had so much more to do now but he was grounded. He had to stay in Warsaw. He was annoyed to be of interest, he had to control himself with the last energy remaining, full stop.

While Julian was trying to figure out how to get information without breaking the rules, Sebastian thoughts changed direction.

Sebastian used to think about Anna almost all of his spare time. In addition, even if he was busy, doubts surrounded him like a circle of enemies closing in. Now, as he was sitting in the sunshine looking at his best friend Julian, he realised how tired Julian was. Julian had changed a lot lately. It was noticeable not only because of his old new jacket. He wore his black leather jacket and looked more like a bad boy than like the Julian who came to Warsaw three years ago: polite, business-like and all Prince Charming.

Julian didn't go to parties anymore, he didn't talk or laugh much and he was isolating himself. Julian gave the impression of being unsettled. He wore a smile on his face, but his joy was missing. He looked cool, but his eyes were concentrated and calm. He was still visibly smooth but unsettled as well. His moves became sharper, faster. Julian was like a wild mountain river: you never knew what you get and where you are.

Sebastian didn't intend to ask his friend what was going on. It wasn't the way you talk with Julian. You rather tried to start with very different topics and then start to lead the discussion into the direction that was bothering you. Nevertheless, this time Sebastian had enough own problems to think about.

Maybe this was the essential thing about their friendship. They could just sit in a club, drink a beer and think about their own things instead of forcing themselves to talk. They let their mind go every now and then; they looked into different directions and didn't look each other even when they were sitting facing each other.

The club was quiet and closed. Bar stools were put on tables, the dance floor was empty and the light was minimal. They both enjoyed this quietness, even if they didn't talk about it.

#27 BREAKING THE HABIT

Sebastian was very happy when she called him two weeks later. He was sitting in his apartment, music was playing, but he didn't notice which songs were to hear. He was frozen and waiting for her. He didn't realise how comfortable his armchair was, although it always was a pleasure to sit in this old piece of furniture. Here he could relax. Not now, he was tensed and highly irritated.

Then his phone rang. Finally! He jumped up and his hands trembled when he saw that it was Mia calling.

She didn't explain why she disappeared, she just mentioned she had written him an e- mail right after she came back from her class trip, informing him, she would get in touch later and she wouldn't work for him for a while. Then she didn't contact him for more than two weeks.

She asked whether he needed her for work. He didn't care about work, he had finished everything himself and without thinking about it, and he had lost overview a long time ago.

-Yes, of course, there is always something to do. - He said although he hadn't the slightest idea if there was anything. He just wanted to see her and every excuse, which would bring them together, would be good enough. She asked whether she might come over and pick up her work.

-Yes, of course. - He nodded, maybe even too soon. She seemed to be more distant than usual, even on the phone.

She would drop by the following day after school. He was already on cloud number nine. He didn't even care he would miss his lecture and it would have consequences. In Poland, you have to subscribe on attendance sheet for almost every lecture and tutorial and you are only allowed to be miss two times per semester. Whatever!

#28 MEET ME HALF-WAY

He was standing at the kitchen's window waiting for her for hours. At least that was his impression. He felt as if a heavy stone was tied to his knees pulling him down to the floor. His mouth was dry and he felt so foolish! His hands were sweating and he stood there like a tree planted onto the window sill.

Finally, he saw her coming from the direction of Saski Garden, which was one street further and he smiled. She came closer and closer and he had to force himself not to jump out of his apartment to welcome her. She rang twice, as usual and he opened the door for her.

She looked tired, as if she hadn't had enough sleep. She tried to smile a little, but it wasn't a happy smile. Something was bothering her, but he knew she wouldn't open up to him. He let her in and wanted to talk. But she just wanted to take her work and leave. They were standing in the hallway looking at each other. She tried not to look into his eyes; he was watching her very carefully. She was very tired.

-Maybe you'd like to drink a cup of tea with me?- He proposed.

-OK. – She finally said and it was the answer he was hoping for. They went into the kitchen but she didn't take a seat. She was just standing there, as if she would like to run away any minute. He had the impression she was like a wild cat put into a cage. She looked very calm, but there was something wrong with her. In these two weeks, she seemed to have lost weight, her face was thinner and her eyes seemed to be bigger.

He had to tame her from the beginning.

He purposely stepped in front of her a couple of times: getting a new pack of sugar although there was still enough sugar in the sugar bowl on the table; he went off to check something in his room and had to leave the kitchen for a minute. As she was standing only some steps away from the door and he had to pass her.

He had bought various blends of tea after he asked the girls from Casablanca which flavour Mia was usually drinking there. As he listed a range of teas from strawberry-vanilla up to pear-banana tea she didn't seem to be impressed at all. It was unusual for a guy to have a pear-banana tea at home!

She stayed calm every time he came closer to her; she just nipped at her tea. She didn't mention its taste or aroma.

Finally, he invited her to do the work in his house.

-It is enough room for you, so you can stay here as long as you need.

He hadn't proposed this to anybody else up to now and he hardly knew her, but he wanted her to be around him. He was more relaxed then. She refused politely.

-Do you still go running? – Sebastian asked as she was moving towards the staircase.

-Yes, I do.- She answered shortly, but didn't stop and went on.

-Would you mind to go running together?

-I am worried about your fitness.

\- You don't have to! When?

She was already out on the stairs. Her steps became quieter.

-Tomorrow, 5 PM, I will meet you here.

He was more than happy.

So, they started to run together. She picked him up three times a week at 5 PM and he was already waiting for her. He took her bag into his apartment and they started to run. They went to the end of Canaletto Street, they turned right into Niecala Street and did a lap in Saski Garden. Then they passed the National Arts Gallery Zacheta and ran further between the multi-storey buildings of Traugutta Street, and finally they came to Wybrzeze Kosciuszkowskie, where you could run along Wisla. They ran up to Traugutta Park and came along Anders Street back to Saski Garden. They didn't exchange a word; they were just running.

Every day at this time, there was heavy traffic in the city and it was almost impossible to run without having to avoid obstacles in the way. However, they kept their route and he always was surprised that she didn't seem to be as tired as he was. As if she was born to run, as if she was like the wind. She breathed rhythmically and she hardly ran into people as he did. She always passed people and they were just angry because of Sebastian bumping into them.

After having finished their route, he went home and sometimes she came with him for a tea and to pick up her new work. Mia wasn't talking much, and she barely spoke a word. She was smiling, but she was eaten up by a problem from the inside. Her eyes were always watchful and even when she walked through his kitchen on socks, she was tense and edgy.

Mia put her work on the table and sat down on the chair with her legs crossed. She concentrated on her translations. Like this two weeks passed by.

In the third week, there was nothing new to translate and Sebastian proposed reading books in his apartment as she had already done before. Mia was undecided for a long time, but finally she went to his bookshelf and chose a book. It was a book about painting over the centuries.

Even as she was sitting on the couch and reading it, she didn't look like the girl he met before the class trip. She was much more concentrated and distant. She was hardly smiling. Yes, she had a smile on her face, but he knew it wasn't a happy one.

Sebastian's mind kept warning him: she is like a fire, if you start to play with it, you will lose it. However, the more doubts his mind had the more sure his heart was about his choice.

#29 THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL

He hadn't seen his best friend since she stepped back into his life. They have been talking on the phone from time to time, but their conversations were quite short. During the last call, Julian reminded Sebastian of the birthday party. Julian didn't want to go to such a party, he was busy with his things, but he was afraid of forgetting something important. Sebastian was his best friend and if you already promised to celebrate together, you should stick to your word.

Sebastian didn't notice any insecurity in Julian's question and asked "Oh, party?" Somehow, he was sure there would be a party and in the back of his mind, this thought was already present. He wanted to present Anna to other people and he was already happy about this idea. His only doubt was to introduce her to Julian. It could go wrong for Sebastian if Julian would make a great impression on her and if she would like him much. But in the end he wasn't worried, because he was in love with her and his butterflies gave him such a dose of optimism that doubts had no chance to surface.

Everything was prepared: guests have been invited and confirmed their presence, food and drinks were already ordered. It should be a party like the one they were having before they started to study: no commerce, just a friendly sit-in at his house. Sebastian was convinced everything would be OK until Anna called and said she won't go running this week. His party was planned for Saturday and she called him a week before to tell him she wasn't going. He was shocked. Without her, this party hadn't much sense. He didn't want to meet his friends, but to have her there. They were already going running for over three weeks and they saw each other almost every second day.

Now she was saying: no running, no party. In the moment, she spoke the words his world started to fall apart and he had to try to rescue everything he was able to save.

He said, she already promised and it would be very important for him to have her there. She answered she is not a party girl, so he wouldn't miss her much.

If her intention was to limit their relationship, she just succeeded. They just ran together, he was her employer, and she didn't want to mix these things together. These were facts. However, Sebastian didn't care about facts. He saw a wall rising between them and he knew that he would lose her again if he wouldn't insist on her coming to the party.

-Running or party. –He said and then he added quickly – decide when you have time for me.

Sebastian didn't know where this assertiveness came from, but he was pleased about it. Sometimes you have powers inside of you, which let you mange a situation even if you don't believe in it. Finally, she promised to get there. Strike!

Sebastian felt like a winner.

After this conversation, Julian called. His best friend wanted to cancel as well. He said, he was ill and didn't feel well.

This case wasn't as urgent and important as the first one. Sebastian had celebrated his birthday with Julian a couple of times and it would be even better if Julian and Anna didn't meet. Just in case. On the other hand, Julian was his best friend, it was necessary to talk with him and find out how he felt. Additionally Julian would get to know Anna somehow anyway, so it didn't really matter: it was a good opportunity to introduce them to each other and to see their reactions.

-What is wrong with you?

-Nothing special, I am just tired.

\- It's OK, when you're ill. But what's wrong? How ill are you? Any help needed?

-As I said, I am just too worn-out. You know the girl I was talking about? I am looking for her, I was out and about during the last days and I guess I have to relax and slow down a little.

-You are right, but it is just an excuse. You can rest anytime.

-It's a childish argument, even for me, right? – Julian noticed ironically.

-My girl will be there.

-Your girl? – Julian didn't even show any interest.

His voice stayed calm.

–Whatever. I will just step in and congratulate if you don't mind, I will go back home then.

#30 A PROMISE KEPT

This party was strange from the beginning.

Sebastian invited some of his friends and they came with their girlfriends and boyfriends and there were so many people there, but somehow he was alone. He used to party with his friends, he used to celebrate with them, but in the last months, he left out more and more parties and was only a guest at the university, so he didn't know what was going on anymore. Then Julian was missing. He was usually the one who makes a party the best party you have ever been to. In addition, Anna was missing either. Sebastian sneaked from the kitchen to the main room and back, he shook cocktails and brought snacks. He kept trudging here and there.

People were talking, drinking, eating, music was playing, but Sebastian didn't participate much. He was standing there, sometimes he even sat down for a while and it looked like he was listening to party stories, he was even laughing with his guests, but they noticed he was waiting for someone.

Karolina and other guests thought it might have been Julian. Julian was "the better half of this duo" and took care about all people. If you met him, you got that impression that he's caring about you and he is listening to you, as if you would be the only person on earth. It was hard to explain, but he really seemed to be interested in who you are, in what is on your mind and what you already experienced. He was taking your story literally out of your mouth and you were happy that someone like Julian was listening to you so intently.

Then the doorbell rang and everybody was relieved about it. Sebastian opened the door. Julian was standing in front of him. Sebastian was disappointed and Julian didn't have to read his mind to see it.

Julian looked great and handsome as always. His hair was a little bit wet because of the rainy evening. He looked into the room and just saw well-known faces. Sebastian's face wasn't the happiest one indeed. Sebastian was apparently wishing to see someone else.

-How is the party? – asked Julian and didn't have to wait for an answer, because you could see at one glance that this party was just a talking round between friends. He looked at Sebastian and noticed his tension. At the same time, he noticed a specific smell, very delicate, almost imperceptible and he thought about the girl he was looking for. This was her smell. How was it possible? Maybe he didn't see her that long, there are so many people and there are so many similar smells. He didn't want to show that he was confused as well as his friend.

-She will come, don't worry! – He added and he didn't say this to comfort only his friend.

Then he went into main room where everybody was waiting for him. He started to talk with girls and boys and everybody was laughing. The atmosphere was saved and became better minute after minute. Even if you knew Julian, you wouldn't notice his illness. He looked gorgeous. Girls –although most of them were in a relationship – looked at him with a kind of seductive fire in their eyes. Boys could just be jealous, but they already got used to the girls' reactions and accepted them. They knew Julian wouldn't start anything that would cause relationship troubles for his friends. From the very beginning, everybody knew he was a guy who was better than others. Girls dreamt about him, always thinking they were not good enough for him. Guys were mostly impressed by his strict attitude towards relationships: he didn't want to have any. He was happy as he was: alone. That way he gained his friends' trust.

Sebastian watched his guests and took care about food and drinks. He was a little bit nervous but it was easier for him to cope with the situation knowing his best friend was there. Somehow, you always need someone by your side to feel better in bad situations. At least Sebastian didn't have to worry about the party's atmosphere. Finally, the guests were really happy and enjoying themselves.

-And, where are the presents? – Julian asked and laughed.

He had a great surprise for Sebastian.

-Why don't we wait until midnight? – said the housekeeper although his birthday was ending at midnight. Nobody opposed, but people looked confused at each other. If it was the wish of the birthday child then you had to accept it.

Shortly before midnight, the doorbell rang the last time for this day.

Sebastian jumped and ran to the door. He was so excited that he couldn't keep his excitement to himself. Everybody knew this person had a special meaning for him.

It was a girl. She was pretty wet and frozen as it was cold outside. It was the middle of March and weather kept changing between cold and rainy days and cold and sunny days. Still, most of the days were not as nice as you were wishing for.

This girl was standing there and spoke to Sebastian very quietly.

-I am sorry I am late. I will not stay long; I just wanted to congratulate you. Happy birthday.

Then she hugged him lightly.

-Please, come in, meet my friends.

-Oh no, I am already on my way home, really.

-Please, do it for me. Just come in and see how I will blow out all candles. – Sebastian was very polite and very friendly. The girl didn't want to come in but finally she let him convince her.

Everybody was standing in the main room, waiting for this girl. They were curious what she looked like and what was so special about her. So far, Sebastian didn't have any long-term girlfriend and his relationships were not deep. This time was behaving a bit weird. This girl had to be special.

Only Julian already knew who she was. He was listening to their conversation at the door and he recognized her voice. He recognized her smell as well. It was still very delicate and still almost imperceptible. He was shocked. He couldn't move for a moment. Luckily, the others didn't notice it. Everyone was waiting for this girl to come into the main room.

Sebastian came into the room like an English conqueror. He was smiling with all parts of his body. She followed right behind.

And there she was... She was wet, frozen and tired. She was wearing an old, dark blue sweater and dark jeans. That is how Julian perceived her, and he could see more than anybody else in this room. She made a small step forward and smiled a little bit. As she came into the room, she waved and said "Hallo".

Everyone answered with a "Hallo".

Then she looked at every face in the room and saw girls and boys and amongst them, someone she already knew.

Karolina was surprised to see Julian right behind her. One minute ago, he was standing right next to the doors and now he was near her. However, she didn't follow this thought. She was more focused on the great happiness in Sebastian's face. He was the old Sebastian again who could smile an honest smile. Then there was this new girl, rather grey and inconspicuous. She had nice brown hair, a nice face, she was standing straight, but she was quite small. She seemed to be very thin, but you couldn't say it for sure because of the big sweater she was wearing. The blue sleeves were too long and you couldn't even see her hands.

Somehow, she was cute. However, her eyes didn't show any specific emotion. She didn't directly look at people in front of her. She was looking at some point above their heads and you couldn't say whether she was happy or sad, astonished or surprised. Her look was a specific one, there were many emotions and her eyes were bright as stars. This was her strength: her eyes. They took in every detail and you were almost forced to look into them. Hypnotic... Sebastian hugged her once again and got closer. Mia just followed his actions – without resistance.

-Everybody, this is Anna. –he said proudly.

She didn't move and didn't blink. She didn't smile.

Then Sebastian introduced his guests and talked about each person's qualities, as he would like to integrate his new girl into his circle of friends.

-This is Magda, she's a very nice person and loves mathematics. She can imitate signatures so it is quite useful to have her in most of my lectures. That is Karolina. She is the artist in our group. She can paint and use pencils not only to make notes. Let me introduce you to one of the most well known party girls, Joasia, and this is her boyfriend, Stefan. – Sebastian continued and didn't notice that she didn't only listen to him, but looked at Julian more than once.

Finally, Sebastian said:

-Last but not least, this is my best friend, please meet Julian.

They almost had to move through the whole room to speak with him. Julian was standing at the window and didn't seem to be interested in small talk and starting to gossip with his other friends. He looked bored and was the worst birthday party participant ever. All his charm and his ability to connect with people was gone. He turned to Sebastian and Anna as they came towards him. Sebastian didn't manage to say a word and he had all Julian's attention. Julian didn't look at Anna aka Mia. He was only concentrated on how Sebastian would introduce her to him.

-Julian is our playboy, he is charming and he is most suitable for a best friend. That's Anna, we're working together and running during the week, as you already know.

She tried to look into Julian's eyes to find out something. He was the guy who helped her to get to her aunt some weeks ago and everything started with him. She was mixed up but she could hide it easily. There were more problems now, than thinking about a guy, who was fascinating, over and over again.

She said "Hallo" and he replied the same. That was it: game over. They didn't connect on any further level.

People gathered at the round table, which wasn't used very often and surprised Sebastian with a home-made cake. They even put candles on top and lit them.

-You have to blow them out! –Joasia screamed enthusiastically.

Then everybody started to sing "Happy Birthday" and Sebastian was happy. He was wishing for such an evening. Anna wasn't much interested in Julian, Julian wasn't much interested in Anna and everybody had fun.

He didn't have a wish. At the moment he was happy and only wanted for the situation not to change.

In the meanwhile, Anna had disappeared. She only said, she would be back in a minute, but she wasn't back, not even after 3 minutes. Sebastian knew she was wet and surely wanted to dry herself. He gave her a towel and remained relaxed. He even focused on his guests and participated in funny discussions.

Julian was the only one who was unsettled. Nobody noticed, but he went from one corner of the room to another a couple of times and he still wasn't relaxed inside. He had to calm down. He had to talk with her face to face. He listened to sounds in the house and he tried to make out noises in the bathroom. It was quiet in there, somehow too quiet.

Julian was worried because he saw more than everybody else here did. He saw her hobbling. In his memories, she was laughing for real and not for other people. Something was wrong. He left the room and went in front of the bathroom's door. Nobody noticed his quick movements. He was listening to what she was doing there. If she had had a shower, everybody would be able to hear it. There was a scary quietness.

He looked at the lock and he was familiar with the trick how to open it from the outside. It was one of these old locks, you just had to turn it into the right direction, even from outside, and you easily unlocked the door. He didn't think about it, he just did it. He unlocked the door.

Then he stepped in. Without a warning, without an excuse... He just stepped in without a word and closed the door.

She was sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Her pants were off and you could easily look at her thin legs. She looked up surprisingly and saw him. She was angry seeing him there but she didn't say a word and moved her hand to her knees so she could cover herself more.

-I already saw it. You are hurt. –he said quietly.

She didn't move.

-If you don't mind, I will help you.

She didn't move.

He came two steps closer and was already standing in front of her.

-They will notice your absence. - She said under pain.

-Don't worry about it; we have all the time in the world. - He hushed.

She looked at him and shook her head. He looked at her and didn't know what to do. Even in slow motion, it wasn't obvious what she meant by shaking her head. He knelt down and touched her hand under the sleeve. Then he pulled her hand aside and looked at the wound. Her left leg was bleeding and he didn't know how big this cut was. There was even more blood, when she released the pressure on the wound. He put his hand on it and tried to figure out how to help her best. Before she noticed, he looked into the cupboard for some medicine but he didn't find much in Sebastian's bathroom.

-I have to take you with me. You cannot stay here in this condition.

-It will be OK, don't worry. I will manage myself.

-No, you will not. It is a cut of 5-7 cm and the wound needs to be stitched. You lost some blood; you have to rest. You will not manage on your own. Let me help you.

-Will you leave me in peace then?

-I promise.

-OK then. – She agreed.

She almost fainted and fell into the bathtub senseless and he easily caught her. As she was lying in his arms, he thought this was the most natural place for her. As she was sitting, again, he put his hanky on the wound and then he swathed her leg with a bandage she brought with her.

-I will do the rest later, but not here.

He helped her to stand up and opened the door.

-I'll wait for you at the stairs.

Then he disappeared and came back a couple of minutes later with Sebastian who was still in his party mood.

-Sorry, Sebastian, but I have to go home. I don't feel well. - Julian said and somehow he looked tired at that moment. Sebastian didn't notice Julian's exhaustion earlier, but he remembered their last call. That is why he was full of understanding. He was even calm until he saw Mia at the door and she was going to leave as well.

-Oh, you are going home, too? – asked Julian as he wouldn't have been in the bathroom with her and he was so surprised, like nothing ever happened!

-Yes, indeed. – She whispered.

-So, Sebastian, we'll hear from each other. I'll call you tomorrow. – Julian said and hugged his friend briefly. Instead of "Bye!" he once again added "Happy Birthday" and left the apartment.

Sebastian looked at Anna and tried to smile.

-I thought you'd stay longer.

-I am sorry, but I already told you before that it's impossible. I have to go now.

-Are you sure?

-Yes, please, don't be disappointed, but I really have to go now.

-Should I call you a cab?

-No, it is OK, I manage it.
He was worried to let her go into the dark night alone. It is never a good sign. Then he acted spontaneously: he went on the stairs and called Julian, who returned a few seconds later. He didn't look at her. Instead, he looked at his friend:

-What is going on?

-Please, take her home. I don't want her to go through the city alone at night.

-OK.

A simple "OK" was the answer. Sebastian couldn't believe he did this, but it was better for her. In addition, his best friend knew how precious she was for him. Still, her security was the most important now. He couldn't forgive himself if anything happened to her. Besides, he trusted his friend who apparently wasn't interested in her. You don't steal a girl from one of your fellows!

#31 UNABLE TO STAY, UNWILLING TO LEAVE

She went to the stairs and felt Sebastian's eyes on her. She tried to walk as usually and even managed to. Then she fell into Julian's arms. She didn't realize how fast he was and how he did manage to catch her. She was very tired and wounded. Her energy level was too low. She didn't even notice when she stumbled. It already was an unbelievable achievement to get here and to behave as if she was OK. However, she wasn't able to go back home tonight and she thought it would be easier to stay there, at Sebastian's party, than to return to the apartment where she used to live. She didn't intend to go back and already thought about staying outside in a park or somewhere else for the whole night, but not in her apartment.

Julian held her in his arms and carried her to his car. He wished he hadn't had this car and that it would be allowed to bring her to his home just like this. He was quick and strong enough. For him she was lighter than a feather and it wasn't an effort to carry her in his arms.

It was a rainy night and it wasn't allowed to break the rules. Therefore, he helped her to sit down in his car. As she was already sitting there, he forgot himself and went quicker than allowed to take a seat.

She noticed his extraordinary speed but she didn't say anything.

The whole time he tried to read her mind, but it was impossible. Mia didn't say a word, she didn't look at him, and she was just sitting there. She breathed flatly. She was very tired. He already recognized it when he saw her tonight. She was almost a shadow of herself compared to the day they met. He didn't ask anything, although he had many questions to ask. How did she come to her other name? What happened in Wroclaw? Where did she hide all the time? He already knew she was running with Sebastian for two or even three weeks and she was working for him. She did some translations. She was a high-school girl and she didn't talk much. That summarised it up more or less, that was everything he knew about her from Sebastian. It was too few information to be able to make a picture of her personality. He knew he had some feelings for her and he knew Sebastian had some feelings for her. It was so scary! He never had a girlfriend before and when he saw her for the first time, he knew she was the one. He never heard that something like this had happened in his "family". Definitely, she was special. She was a human being with own thoughts which he couldn't read. She could notice more than an average human being and she was wounded and took it with grace.

If Julian could only read her mind, he would see who has done this to her and then he could revenge. If he only knew who she was and what person she was, it would be easier to start a conversation with her but she carried some kind of aura that didn't allow him to treat her normally. Alternatively, maybe it was just the fact that he had a crush on her and wasn't sure how to deal with it.

He looked at her. She apparently had fever. Her forehead showed sweat drops and she was breathing fatly. She had problems to breathe in. She was still adorable. In addition, he found her or rather she found him. Just like the first time.

He was driving without saying a word and they went down the main streets. Mia noticed they left town but hadn't enough strength to ask where they were going. She felt weak and somewhat safe at his side. She allowed herself to be weak during the ride. It was a moment of rest. She had to safe her power for later. She had to use it carefully.

Julian was watching her and she noticed it as well. It was warm in his car. If she wouldn't be wounded, she would speak with him, but now she was too weak for this. She let herself fall. She used up all of her power at Sebastian's birthday party. He was happy and this was what she wanted. She promised him to be there, but she couldn't foresee how her situation would change this afternoon.

#32 GLORIA VICTIS

The whole situation changed a couple of weeks ago with the murder of her aunt. From then, it started to be all-horrible. She returned to Warsaw and was surprised by an unexpected guest in her grandma's apartment. A man she remembered well. He didn't change. She already had a strange feeling when she came to the door and wanted to open it.

When she opened the door, it was very quiet inside. Her grandma was always listening to the radio and now the radio wasn't turned on.

Mia went in carefully and she noticed that somebody was in the apartment. She went down the corridor and looked over to her room, because the door was open (although she always closed it). Everything seemed to be all right. Nothing changed. Then she looked to her grandmother's room and she wasn't there. She went into the kitchen and saw a man sitting on a chair. He was waiting for her. He had a scary smile on his lips.

She was surprised and couldn't pull herself together for a while.

He continued to smile.

He was taller than in her memories. He didn't change. He was still looking like 30-35 years of age. He had some wrinkles and small, sharp eyes. Scary eyes with an evil glow. A shiny bold-head with a wonky smile stood there. He was wearing a black suit and a purple shirt. He was a little overweight and had fat fingers. He started drumming a melody on the table when he saw her. She stood at the kitchen's door. He was sitting at the table in a room, which was hardly used by her and her grandmother. They could easily look at each other. Between them was a timeless silence. It was just like a photo; they weren't in motion, were just watching each other. Finally, he moved a little bit.

-You have changed. Do you still know who I am?

She didn't move and followed his movement with her eyes. He got up and made two steps in her direction.

-Of course you know who I am. I saw it in your eyes.

He was speaking in an overly confident manner, smugly. He was indeed proud of how he was coming up in her memories. He was almost flying in front of her in glory. In addition, she just thought: Gloria victis.

-Let me see you, come closer, my child. - It wasn't an invitation. It was an order.

Mia still stood in the same place without the smallest movement. Her eyes were blank. He couldn't read her as he used to do it with other people. She wasn't scared. She was proud.

-Come here! - He screamed and thought his louder tone would make more impression on her. But it didn't work. She was like a rock.

This ignorance annoyed him so much that he went towards her and with each step, his anger grew. Then he beat her for the first time. He slapped her into the face and because of his strength; she lost her balance and stumbled backwards. He didn't know how powerful he was and he even didn't care much to explain her anything or to control himself carefully right now. He liked to rule over people and until now, he was very successful in this domain.

-You don't have to be a brave heart. You already lost.

Mia still looked the same as few minutes ago. He was annoyed by this attitude.

-What's your name? – He finally asked after he breathed in deeply two times.

It wasn't about killing her now, she had to suffer. This was his task. She should pay for everything she brought and may bring into his life.

She didn't answer.

He came closer to her and slapped her again. This time he didn't want to hit her into the face, he kicked her into the stomach. She bent for a minute, put her arms around her tummy and breathed shorter.

-We can continue it this way and you end up like your aunt. You can choose.

Mia tried to stand up. She took three deep breaths and came back to her upright position.

-Your aunt wasn't important for me. I just wanted to give you a sign. She didn't suffer very much, what a pity. – He was sarcastic and he enjoyed it.

-So, tell me, what's your name, or else I will tell you how it is going to end tonight.

She still didn't say a word. He, again, came so close to her that she felt his presence next to her body. He looked at her with a terrible pity in his eyes.

-You don't like to talk with me. Just like your mother. Nevertheless, as you know you can't run away from me. I'll find you everywhere.

He hit her for the third time, once again in the tummy.

-I think that's enough for the beginning. If you want to keep your beloved grandma alive, you should come and visit me. You will get orders at a time I choose and you will be there. Otherwise, you cannot imagine what will happen. –He was speaking loud and clear. To see how she was suffering gave him a great satisfaction, but it wasn't the worst thing she was about to witness. He went past her towards the stairs. As he was closing the front door, he added:

-I didn't introduce myself: I am Jonas. Meeting you was a pleasure for me, Emilia.

#33 NUMB

From this day on, Mia got "an invitation" once a week. She usually found two muscular guys waiting for her in her apartment (they had a key). Then they let her silently to a black and fancy BMW with the best equipment. She didn't need any advice to understand what she was suppose to do. She felt uncomfortable and bad sitting in this car being delivered to him as if she was a piece of meat.

Her first thought was that such expensive cars were very rare in Poland. Only the most important politicians, rich people and the mafia had such kind of cars. Nevertheless, for sure this guy wasn't a politician. His bodyguards were professionals though. Such personnel cost a fortune.

He was living in a villa somewhere in Warsaw, almost outside of the city. She wasn't sure where exactly; she didn't know the city so well. They were driving approximately half an hour and through the black car's windows, Mia couldn't see much. There was a special black screen between the driver and the passengers sitting in the back. The half an hour drive was always a kind of preparation for their meeting. Mia was fighting with uncertainty. How did he know so much about her? Why was he asking questions, which he could easily answer himself? What was he planning? Which role was she supposed to play and why knew he her mother? And what kind of name was that: Jonas?

As the car stopped, all she could see was a street with many trees. The villa Jonas was living in was like a small castle, 18th century style. She followed the bodyguards into the lobby and then into a big room with shut curtains – no matter what time of the day. This room was always dark and she had to wait until Jonas came in. As he passed the room, some candles started to burn without anyone lightening them. It was odd. It was like the sound system that is switched on by clapping your hands once and switched off when you clap twice. There certainly was no such system for candles.

He used to wear dark and well tailored suits. His shirt was dark, too, but brighter than the suit's colour. He walked slowly and enjoyed the moment he stepped into the room. He was always catching all her attention, like a king entering a room automatically demanding certain honours.

She observed him and he observed her. They didn't exchange a word and were looking at each other for a long time. It was, as if time would pass by slower and seconds became minutes. She felt her heartbeat becoming slower, but still regularly. You could hear her heartbeat in the room, but not his. His steps were quiet. He was moving like a ghost: without a sound, without a trace. She felt like a haunted animal.

Jonas didn't even seem to breathe. He seemed to have no heart. On the other hand, maybe her heart was beating in the same rhythm as his. She was focussed. Jonas, too. She was calm. Jonas, too. She was waiting. Jonas, too. They were standing there like two fighters before a battle, like David and Goliath, but Mia had no clue against whom she was supposed to fight. All she knew was that the enemy was strong and she felt respect for it.

It was already the sixth week of such terror and every time they met his slugs were heavier. Usually, she came to him and he asked her questions about her life. He was asking how she knew that he was in Wroclaw and why she was there so fast. He wanted to know what she had been doing all these years and how many friends she had. He asked what she remembered from the night they first met and what it was like for a 3 years old girl to grow up without parents. He composed his sentences very carefully. He never used a word without meaning. His questions were sharp, like cuts of a sword. Then a short break for her answers followed and she never used this part of the game. Silence ruled over the room, his odd smile became bigger and bigger, and finally the slug.

Jonas somehow beat her carefully. He enjoyed giving her a careful trouncing, with pure calculated and all bad intention. He showed a wild satisfaction when seeing her bleeding. He tried not to hit her into the face, because she should not attract attention. His first inglorious smile showed on his face when her nose started to bleed. Mia tried to wash the stream off with her sleeves then but it didn't work, because Jonas hit her somewhere else a moment later and the blood was smeared all over her face. Jonas was happy. His pleasure was even worse for her than his slugs. He wanted to embarrass her and took away any feeling of dignity when she was in his territory.

When he was satisfied for a while, he let her go to visit her grandmother.

Mia was surprised that her grandmother was living in his villa. She had her own room (Mia called it a cell in her thoughts) and it looked like the old lady was getting anything she needed.

-How are you, grandmother? –She always asked instead of saying "Hallo".

-Oh, my child, how do you look? What do these dirty clothes mean? You should care more about how you look! And this hair! You're so faint.

-I will try to improve this, I promise. – Mia always answered and grandmother complained about her health and some problems of the old age. She seemed to keep forgetting more details every day and she became meeker. She talked with Mia, which was a great surprise. She thought she was in a nursing home. It was somewhat strange to see her with all these problems she never had before and to hear her voice. She was a different person and her affection totally changed. Everything changed.

#34 GREEN FINCH AND LINNET BIRD

Being wide awake, she noticed that the car stopped and it was dark everywhere. The only light came from the headlights that were shining at a gate. Julian got out and opened this gate then they drove a couple of meters until they reached a house. It was hard to tell anything about this house, because it was too dark right now. The moon and the stars were covered by the clouds and it was quiet.

Julian opened her door and held his hand out for her to lean on. She took his hand and got out of the car. It was muddy and Mia tried to be careful and not to fall down. He didn't allow her to make more than three steps and lifted her up. Then he went to the veranda and without letting her down, he opened the door and switched on the lights. It was a wooden house and it smelled pleasantly of wood. The corridor was quite wide and then they came into an anteroom.

Julian carried Mia directly to a bathroom in the basement. It was a huge bathroom with a huge bathtub and a separate shower cabin. He let her stand up and steady herself on the wall. Before she noticed, he brought her a chair. Her head was dizzy. Everything was a blur for her. She tried to keep her consciousness and she noticed he took off her clothes carefully. She was standing there just in her underwear and socks. She hadn't enough strength to feel embarrassed right now.

Julian helped her to sit down and before she even realized he already brought everything necessary to disinfect her wound. He even brought another chair and put her wounded leg on it. She didn't feel anything but a pulsating wave of warmth in her whole body. She saw some blood drops falling on the floor and she apologized for it. Now she was very embarrassed.

He didn't look at her, because he was too busy with stitching her wound. He was very quick and if she wouldn't had fever, she would say, he was faster than she could even imagine. She didn't feel how he was stitching her leg; maybe it was even better for her.

His moves looked artistically, fluently, almost poetically. It was a mix of his rough strength and fascinating speed with his delicate and gently touch. His face showed determination, concentration. His eyes were focused on the wound. Nothing else mattered.

Her constant starring at his hands apparently didn't disturb Julian. She got the impression that time passed by slower when he was there – as if he froze time. Every second was a minute and every minute was extended to an hour. His hands were not cold. They were not warm. He was calm and gave her a feeling of being safe – somehow she felt safe here. A feeling she hadn't had since she was three years old and was spending time with her parents.

Mia was very tired and didn't know what to expect now. She tried to concentrate on thinking, but her mind was busy fighting against unconsciousness. She attempted to follow his moves, but it wasn't completely possible.

Julian finished and bandaged her leg. After he was done, he looked on to her gaze. Her overstrained eyes were looking at him very carefully. Her eyes were big and full of sparks.

-So, now you should not do too much sport, rest your leg for a while. Don't overwork it. It is important.

-Thank you.

Mia whispered and thought whether he was really suggesting no running with Sebastian or whether it was just a saying without meaning. It was weird to notice such a double meaning and at the same time not being able to concentrate on other things.

-And now I'll get you into bed. – He said and smiled friendly.

-I would prefer to go home. – She said, but it wasn't very convincing. Her weakness was as visible as adverts during the Super Bowl. Even a blind person would notice her low condition.

-No, you will not leave this house before morning and now you have to rest.

Julian said very convincing and she wasn't able to deny. In addition, she didn't want to deny. Mia wanted to stay here. Against her mind, her heart was already obviously on the side of this stranger called Julian. She wasn't burning for love now, but maybe just because of her weakness.

He took her into his arms and carried her into a room on the first floor. It was a small, cute room in the attic. It was warm here and the furniture was in an old-fashioned style. It was rather looking like from the last centuries than from nowadays. No electric light was available, but there were big, bright candles. He laid her on a classic, wooden bed and lighted two massive candles. The room got a warm colour of burning fire.

Julian looked for a blanket in a drawer and covered her with a large red cotton blanket. In this light, the blanket's colour looked even more red and warmer than it already was.

-You all right? – He asked and she nodded. – I will bring you some water.

-OK.

He went out and she huddled against the cosy blanket. She didn't manage to lie down comfortably and he was already back. She already felt much better when he was at her side. He put a glass of water at the old-fashioned table and said:

-So, I will leave you alone. Try to fall asleep.

-Thank you.

-Should I blow out the candles? – He asked.

-Oh no, please not now. I will do it.

He left the room; she lay in the bed and pondered. The candle light relaxed her, but after a while, she closed her eyes. She was in pain. Her leg was pulsating and her head was falling apart. However, there was warmth in the room, and a cosy blanket, and his support that she needed.

Mia was very tired today. She got a cut wound for the first time. She didn't notice a knife until it was too late. She just felt the smell of blood and she wasn't able to visit her grandmother. She only wanted to run away. She went through the streets of Warsaw trying to focus. It was a hard task for her. The pulsating leg was hard to move, but it wasn't impossible to walk. She was sure it was just a cut, nothing to worry about. Only after sitting in Sebastian's bathroom and seeing this cut for the first time, she realized how bad it was indeed. If she knew it before, she would never have never visited Sebastian. However, if she hadn't gone the party, she wouldn't have met Julian. In addition, if she didn't have met him she wouldn't have managed to stitch her wound as fast and professional as he did it. Everything happened for a reason.

Mia knew she didn't want to go home. She noticed some cameras in the apartment and she didn't like to be observed. So, she went out as often as she could. But in the last three weeks she wasn't able to go running with Sebastian. She tried to run alone and it was better. She could run as much as she could and changed routes according to her energy. Mia was upset because she hadn't a lot of contact with Sebastian. He was very polite and friendly; he didn't force her to speak. Apparently, Sebastian wanted something more and she wasn't able to have deep contact with people. She wasn't used to spend time with people. Her whole life she was a try to isolate herself from other people. She felt she was different and she knew that her horror wasn't over. That was the reason why she escaped in worlds that couldn't be taken from her: imaginary stories, imaginary heroes, imaginary fates that were sometimes even worse than her life. This was her way to deal with her reality: to be lost in the imagination or to run through woods or parks.

Now, there was this guy again. Mia remembered how he took her for a ride to Jelenia Gora and how he got her back to Wroclaw. She noticed his particular attitude and his attention. She would have never ever thought he was the best friend of Sebastian. Sebastian was a great person and he should get a good girl, better than her. He should not get a girl who was an emotional cripple and who was carrying around so many problems for years. Moreover, his best friend was someone special who had enough money to have a fancy car and a house outside of Warsaw with wonderful furniture from the last centuries. And one who had enough time to drive her here and there and who was capable of stitching a wound. In addition, he was smelling good and had incredible sapphire eyes.

Sebastian was always a little nervous when they met and he tried to present himself in a better light. Julian didn't have to. He was extraordinary and she felt stronger being near to him. Furthermore, he had something in his eyes and he was somehow. Otherwise, maybe it was just her imagination and exaggerated perception. You can always blame your own fever.

Then Mia felt a wave of air coming into room, very delicate and mild. She didn't open her eyes and didn't move. The candles were blown out as if there would be a draft, but that wasn't possible, because the window was closed. She lay calm and felt something in the air. She was feeling Julian somehow. Moreover, she felt better, stronger and safe.

She kept her eyes closed and concentrated on her thoughts. It was the only way to forget her pain. Besides, she caught the presence of Julian with her senses. She could hardly imagine it might be true, because it was a strange (but nice) feeling. She opened her eyes and looked around. Nobody else was in the room. She sat up and looked around once again. She couldn't see him, but she could feel him. It was his energy. Maybe she really crushed down and her senses played with her. Maybe it was just her imagination, a secret wish and unconscious willingness for being near to him. It would be a perfect moment if she wouldn't be wounded, if she didn't have fever and if she could fall asleep without any problems.

She padded her forehead and the sweat drops were still there. She was hallucinating; for sure, she was just wishing for something and fever caused her feelings.

#35 SLEEPLESS

Julian came in as silently as he could and tried not to move too fast. He didn't want her to wake up and he hoped she already slept. As he came into the room, Julian noticed she already cuddled with his favourite blanket and Mia felt well there. She was calm and settled. She looked very beautiful in the candle light. Her face was gorgeous and her eyelashes were causing some shadows on her cheeks. Mia was breathing steadily and she didn't move. She didn't intend to make a sound. She wanted to lay there and rest. Relaxed and in peace... Moreover, she wanted to get rid of the pain that waited for her around the corner of her current perception.

He thought she was asleep and blew out the candles. Apparently, she wasn't asleep and she kept her breath in longer than before. Then she was lying still and listened for a while. He was here to give her more time. She needed to rest and she needed time to rest. He promised her to leave her in peace after all, so he had to use every time he could find to have her here. He slowed down the time and stood near the bed so he could watch her in the light of the night. Her hair was scattered on the long bolster. Her mouth was a little bit open and she tried not to breathe through her nose. She was covered up to her cheeks. Then she opened her eyes surprisingly and looked around. After a while, she sat up and looked around for a second time.

He was confused by her behaviour. Was she looking for him? Mia had it written on her face. Who else was she looking for? However, could she feel him here? It was impossible. No human was able to feel him when he was invisible.

It worried him that he wasn't able to read her like anybody else and her behaviour was suspicious. Even so, she wasn't one of them either. She was a human being for sure. He had every proof for it. She was bleeding and she had a beating heart. She percepted pain and temperature. She wasn't able to do things he could easily do. Still she was very sensitive and damageable. The wound he stitched tonight was a scary thing: deep and sharp. Why did someone hurt her and why did she go to Sebastian knowing she was wounded? It wasn't just a cut. It was professional, intentional and it should be handled qualified. Obviously, she didn't plan to go to any doctor, which worried him even more. She wanted to keep it for herself. She has not been running with Sebastian for some days. It could have been because of her current state, and on the other hand, it could have no meaning for it at all.

Julian looked at Sebastian through his power over thoughts. His best friend was in sorrow, because 'his' girl left his party so unexpectedly. Furthermore, she wasn't alone. Sebastian had already started to tidy up his apartment after his guests left. There were not any special thoughts in his head, which bothered Julian.

That is why he continued to watch her. She was sleeping. He was sure, after she fell asleep she moved a couple of times. He came closer and almost touched her hand. He was trembling a little because he wanted to touch her and at the same time, he didn't want to wake her up. Still, he intended to send her some of his energy so that she could recover faster. In this slowed turn of time, he saw some of the rays, which came from him and went into her. His hands were very close to her. These rays were very thin and their light was unbelievably sapphire-like and sparkled like a jewel. The connection between them was already made. It was against the rules but he didn't care. Until now, no family member practised the energy transfer with not-dying people. Helping human beings in this way was only allowed in a case of emergency or if a human was dying. Through this transfer, Julian was losing a part of his energy, but he gave it to people who should not suffer or be conscious about their condition. It wasn't practised with people who were just sick. For Julian, Mia was now a case of emergency. She was his private case of emergency and therefore she should not undergo this pain. He assumed that his power would upgrade her average level, but he didn't know when to stop. It was a question of control and rating. Wrong estimation could cost her life. She was just a human being and she wasn't able to go through everything what he was able to manage.

Through this connection, they were bonded forever. Now he could feel her for the rest of eternity. There was no turning back since Julian let himself fall in love with Mia.

#36 COME WHAT MAY

Mia woke up as she felt some flimsy shine coming from outside. It was early morning and outside you could admire the lazy, slow going sunrise. She smiled to herself and to the sun, which was slowly coming up after a long night. This warmth made her feel better. The small things can make life great.

She looked at the clock and it was early morning. She felt much better than yesterday. She had no headache anymore and the pain in her leg was already bearable. The cotton blanket was very warm and she put it a little bit aside so now she wasn't covered from her feet up to her cheeks. Then she noticed it wasn't just the leg, which was looking badly. There were bruises on her arms and a giant bruise under the left collarbone. She remembered how she was put aside and the memory of her pain returned. Scared she looked under the blanket and saw the rest of her body. Her stomach wasn't looking good, either. Luckily, the wound on her leg was hidden under a bandage. She was ashamed to see herself in such a condition. Up to now, she only got some bruises and that was all. However, she knew after every meeting with this nasty and cruel Jonas that he wouldn't step back and she would suffer more and more: meeting after meeting, until she would die. She knew it. She knew it for sure.

She was scared. She already thought about her options, but every solution seemed to be bad. She couldn't leave her grandmother alone in the house of her offender. As long as her grandmother was living in a sweet unconsciousness and even happiness, Mia was able to withstand all violence, even if she should be hurt more and more. She didn't want to think about it. She had some days to rest and this night already was worth more than a week. She closed her eyes once again and tried to get other things to think about. She wasn't breaking apart, she was strong enough and she could just say: come what may. Now she was almost prepared. At least she thought so.

Her heart had another opinion, of course. She wasn't prepared to die. She met Julian and wanted to spend more time with him. She met Sebastian and it was the same: she couldn't leave them without a goodbye and she wasn't able to say goodbye. Deep down in her heart, Mia didn't want to say goodbye to either of them.

She didn't want to wake him up so she wanted to stay in the room until he would knock. In the meantime, she just remained lying on the bed and watched how much sunlight entered the room and how the light was continuously spread in the room. The furniture looked even more impressive in this light. It was handmade, real masterpieces. The house somehow looked like in a museum. Even though, she felt great here. Everything had good vibrations and was cosy, even if she didn't just mind the cotton blanket. Moreover, she had the impression that time passed in a different rhythm here. Everything seemed to slow down.

#37 BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S

Julian observed her very carefully. She woke up and smiled. He has never seen her smiling this way. She seemed to be happy and relaxed. Until now he saw her stressed and in motion. Now she was just beautiful. Her hair was shining in the sun and her eyes were sparkling. He enjoyed watching her in such situation and thought about how long he should let her savouring the silence.

He kept the time passing by slowly and finally, he had to react. He left the room so quick that she only noticed a wave of air. Then he searched for some clothes for her, dressed, came back and knocked. He waited for a moment and then he came in. She was sitting on the bed and was covered with the blanket.

-I thought your clothes were a little dirty and you might want to have new ones.

He put them on the chair, where he was sometimes sitting on during this night, and left the room. Mia hadn't even the time to thank him for it. She stood up and looked at the clothes he brought. There were two t-shirts and two of his sport pants. Apparently, he didn't have any girly things at home and this was such a funny thought that she had to smile. She tried on the first pants and they were much too big. The second pants were quite OK; at least she could walk without losing them. The t-shirts were both fine, but she chose the blue one.

Then Mia went out of the room and thought were he might be. She was in the first floor of his house and she heard some noises from the basement. She followed the sound. On her way, she looked at the house. The house wasn't very big, but it wasn't as small as an apartment. You could see and smell wood everywhere. It was gorgeous! The decoration was rather classical and left a great impression. There were not many things there, but everything was elegant and somehow welcoming. There were some paintings hanging on the walls matching the other decorative items in the house. She was very impressed and didn't expect such a good taste and such decoration from a person who was younger than 30 years. It had to cost a fortune and he wouldn't have been able to earn all that money in such a short time. She didn't even know whether he was studying or working. She knew he had this modern and hip club, but you cannot afford both things at the same time. These were her thoughts until she got into the kitchen.

He was standing there preparing the tea. It smelled of cherry and vanilla. Mia wondered how strange it was that a guy had this kind of tea at home or how he knew which kind of tea she liked. She hadn't told him. It couldn't be a coincidence.

She shivered shortly, but quickly she got back her self-control. Could he be connected to Jonas? Could it be a plan of Jonas? However, Jonas didn't care about tea. Mia doubted and her heart pushed her in Julian's direction. Her voice within ordered her to keep going. Maybe it was just a simple coincidence and if not then there had to be a good explanation for it.

-Good morning. – She said to announce herself.

Julian had already noticed her, but he didn't let her know it.

-Good morning. Did you sleep well?

-I never slept better in my life. –She said with a lucky tone.

-And how's your leg? You are not hobbling.

-It's better, thank you once again.

She came some steps closer to the table and sat down on a chair. Her moves were precautiously and tentative.

As she was sitting on the massive wooden chair, she looked around without suspicions. This kitchen was spacious and bright. The decoration and furniture was white and silver, and everything matched perfectly. There was no chaos there. In the middle of the room, there was a white round table with six chairs around. The tablecloth was red. A glass and a cup already stood in front of her. Julian put an empty plate in front of her and then he dished up some plates with bread and sausages. Then she saw a plate with cheese and a special plate with marmalade. It was too much for both of them. She wouldn't be able to eat one tenth of it.

-And you? Are you not going to eat? – She asked as she didn't see a plate for him.

-I have already eaten. - He answered.

-Oh...

She didn't know what to think about it. She didn't feel well knowing she was the only person who was going to eat something now and what he prepared was too exaggerated. He noticed her confusion and didn't know how to react. He didn't eat, never. Moreover, people were eating differently. It was always hard to assume how much. Sometimes he just acted as if he would eat, but it was just a game, because he didn't want to catch anyone's attention.

-I will drink a cup of tea with you. – He smiled.

She smiled back, but wasn't so convinced.

-Please, feel free. _Mi casa_ es _su casa._

_She wasn't able to start eating; she didn't feel free, but rather tied. She usually ate alone and nobody was watching her. She was off her feed right now._

_-Please, you have to eat something. Otherwise, you will not get back your strength and recover. – He said friendly._

_She forced herself to make a sandwich with cheese and some sausages. The time she was eating was worse than a chewing gum, which you chew for an hour. It didn't end up. She was chewing and chewing and she had the impression again as if the time would pass slower. In addition, she wasn't feeling comfortable by eating alone while Julian was watching her all the time._

_-You don't eat. – She determined suddenly._

_Julian looked at her more carefully and smiled. There was some uncertainty in his deep blue eyes although his face was still friendly and looked surprised._

_-So I am right, you didn't eat. – She wasn't smiling. She was still chewing her sandwich. It was impossible, but she was right. Her mind was busy with this extraordinary finding. Her heart kept quiet._

_Julian wondered whether she already had any contact with his family. It was rather impossible, but looking at her over average features in connection to this statement and her kind of being it wasn't as impossible as at it seemed to be at first. His smile stayed frozen on his face and he observed her even more watchfully than before. She was calm and controlled. He intended to change this situation somehow._

_-Oh, you were guessing. – Julian said it, as if he would tell a joke, as if he would have spoofed her just this minute._

_-I see it was right. That is enough for me._

_Mia was astonished. Just this one fact was already a reason to leave this house and to avoid him, but her heart took it freely, as if he would say that he loves go swimming or driving a car. It didn't scare her at all, although it should. A normal person would already be afraid but apparently, Mia's instinct followed its own unexplained ways. Mia took it like_ a duck to water _. She already saw things that were more horrible._

_-Oh, so you are quite good in guessing. – He laughed._

_-Sometimes._

_-And when you are wrong? – He looked at her attentive._

_-It never happens. – She smiled sadly._

However, Julian smiled. She was looking great when she was smiling, even if it wasn't a sign of joy.

-When you are ready, we will check the wound.

-OK.

-You are not the type of girl who talks much, are you?

-I don't know. Until now you didn't asked me anything that could start a discussion. – She said.

-I guess you wouldn't answer my questions.

-That's partially correct.

-Why partially?

-It depends on which topic you choose.

-What do you like to talk about?

-I don't know. Philosophy of Persia, Nobel Prize winners in mathematics and techno music. – She laughed.

-I think you exaggerated a little bit with techno. – He laughed as well.

She was laughing loudly and he admired her clear voice. Her eyes were really sparkling. Her hair fell into her face, but she pushed it away spontaneously. She was just laughing. It was one of the greatest moments in his life.

#38 ME AND MY MONKEY

A couple of moments later, he helped her to sit down on a chair in the bathroom, the same chair she was sitting on the night before. He took off the bandage and looked at the wound. It looked like a good job to him. Of course, it wasn't the best sight, because every stitched wound looks scary at the beginning: blue, scarf-like, and creased.

-It will leave a scar after all, but it looks OK. You have to take care of you and your leg. – He said gloomily.

-Where did you learn it? – Mia asked with a normal tone pointing at her wound. She was apparently not carrying about her leg right now. He doubted whether she was taking into consideration to take care of herself. Probably not...

-Oh, it is no big deal.

He was lying and she felt it. It was something important for him and he didn't do such things for the first time. It was a great job. Her father was a doctor, a surgeon, and she could remember some of his work. Sometimes he took some work home to compare some pictures, some scans and he sometimes practised at her dolls. He always explained what he was doing and how to make stitches properly. She remembered his words. She hadn't had enough practice to do it herself, but she remembered his instructions.

-It is indeed complicated. It is a big thing and I am very thankful for your help.

They didn't exchange a word for a couple of moments. Then Mia asked:

-When will you take me back?

-Don't you like it here?

She smiled. She did, and that was the reason why she couldn't lie about it.

-Yes, very much. I really enjoy it. – She answered with hidden enthusiasm.

-So, just stay another day.

-I can't. – She said sadly.

-You apparently didn't want to go home yesterday.

-How did you know?

-I am good in guessing, too. – Julian smiled. - You came to Sebastian and you could have easily gone home. You couldn't or you didn't want to. If you had someone who cares about you, you wouldn't go with me and you would have protested at the latest in my car. You should have told me where you wanted me to bring you yesterday. You didn't. You let yourself fall and I caught you. Therefore, if you would like to, you can stay here for a while.

-Are you...

-No, I'm not. You are the very first person to whom I offered it. I... – Julian stopped and took a short break. – I feel you need some help. And I can help you.

-I don't understand. I don't need any help. I can manage everything on my own.

-This wound as well. – He noticed calmly, but with a hidden thought, she did catch.

Julian tried to read her, but it was impossible. She was a stranger for him and he couldn't do anything against it.

-This was an accident. A really bad accident... In addition, it is not your business. Please bring me to Warsaw. Where are we?

She looked around like there could be any indications. They were in the bathroom and there couldn't be any indications.

-You promised me to leave me alone.

-We have not finished. I will not help you until tomorrow. You should appreciate my work, if you already accepted my help.

Julian was a little bit angry, because she wanted to throw away everything he was rescuing for her. She had a problem and she didn't seem to get it.

–I keep my word. I will bring you back to Warsaw tomorrow to any address you will tell me. Do we have a deal?

-Do I have any choice? – She asked resigned without any hope for an answer.

He bandaged her leg again, she stood up, and put the pants on. She was angry not because of his attitude, but because he said the truth. There was no warm place for her to go. Mia was still looking for a place, which she could call home, even if it was only for a short moment. She was looking for a place where she could get rest and allow herself a short moment of undisturbed peace. She was afraid she wouldn't find such a place. Therefore, she had to look for people with whom she could find moments of being happy.

Mia was in a very bad situation and she didn't want to admit it. If she would, it would mean a resignation. Moreover, she wasn't able to give up. Mia was a fighter. She has been fighting against the plan of Jonas and everything around her, which obviously wanted to integrate her. It wasn't the right time for assimilation. She couldn't share her secret with anyone and she had to endure this alone. God had to be busy, if he didn't change this situation. On the other hand, God sent her two wonderful guys, who were able to tame her. Maybe Julian and Sebastian were signs of a better future. For having hope for a future?

She left the bathroom and she was confused where to go.

He didn't make it easier for her. He didn't show up and she didn't intend to go back and apologize although she knew that this option was the right one. She looked around and admired the paintings on the wall and items of decoration that made this house so special.

One painting seemed to be Canaletto's vedute of Venice. It was a large-scale painting, which portrayed the city's famous pageantry. Its innovative atmospheric effects and strong natural colours unmodified by adding light and shadow or any other distortion were perfectly connected. She remembered works of Canaletto in her schoolbook and already back then, she was impressed by his work. Now she was watching a painting, which was so gorgeous: generally, early artwork painted from nature and the blobs of colour used by Canaletto were so admirable and so beautiful. She just stood watching this painting for a while and in any cartoon movie, she would look like a person with a jaw hitting the floor. She stepped closer and looked particularly at the people in the painting and then she watched the city's buildings and thought about colours and colour combinations. Then she looked at another painting and it looked similar to Claude Monet's Woman with a Parasol where he painted his wife and his son. Mia was deeply impressed. She even touched this painting to prove herself it was real. And it was... It even had a signature of Monet! It was incredible!

He observed her astonished by the paintings from the dining room. She was like a little child that discovers a world for adults. She was flabbergasted, overwhelmed and just adorable. The way she shyly touched his paintings, the way she analysed the colours, technique and directions of paintbrushes with a concentration written on her face was just amusing and delightful.

He observed her hidden under his invisible form of being. He came closer to see her face better, because he discovered there so many emotions. He wanted to smell her scent, feel her breath, and see her impressions. He couldn't take his eyes of her. She was like a drug to him. From the first time he saw her she was someone special to him and since she got into his car and he saw her so close she became very important for him. That is why he couldn't stop searching for her and that is why he looked here and there, days and nights.

He once had a vision of her. It was many years ago and this vision wasn't clear. He saw her and he knew she was determined for him. Julian asked even other beings like him whether they had any experience like that, but it seemed to be very rarely and almost nobody admitted having visions. His kindred spirits didn't comment the fact he had one. They were surprised for a short moment, but didn't think about it long. Julian should not think about it, either. It made no sense. If he had a vision, then it was a fact and there was nothing to contemplate about for years.

Here and now, he had other responsibilities and Mia wasn't a part of it. She was just his own business. She was his thing. Every time he looked at her, he wondered how she could get such a wound and why she had so many bruises. Was it family violence? Maybe that is why she couldn't or didn't want to go home? She seemed to be sporty and she could easily run away, but for some unknown reasons she didn't. She was a sensitive person. That was for sure. The way she acted and the impression she made on him and on other persons just confirmed this statement.

Yesterday at the party, he read minds of others and they were curious about her.

Magda for example wondered who that girl is and where she came from. She was curios where Sebastian met Anna and how intelligent she was. Anna seemed to be a cute young girl. The question was whether you could talk with her about serious things.

Karolina was surprised seeing Anna and by noticing that Anna is pretty. Karolina wondered whether Anna studied and whether she was a party girl. Anna didn't look like a party girl right now and her sweater was a fashion disaster. Anna made an impression like someone fading like a flower or like a candle in the wind: you could look at them for a long time, but they remain a mystery.

Joasia was a little bit jealous because of Anna and didn't want to have her in their group, because Anna made a great impression and you had to look at her from the moment you noticed her. She held Stefan's, her boyfriend, hand, stronger for a moment. Therefore, Stefan liked Anna from the very beginning. She looked pretty and made a good impression. In addition, Sebastian was very proud to present a girl for whom he was waiting for the whole evening. You didn't have to read minds to see his relief as she came.

#39 DON'T BOTHER

Thinking about Sebastian, Julian noticed that his very good friend was awaking right now and thought about Anna. This was another point for Julian, which he didn't understand. Why did she use different names? It wasn't normal. Of course, you can make your real name shorter or use the cute version or even a nickname, but two different first names were strange.

Sebastian was wondering whether she came home safely and thought about calling Julian to ask. Julian didn't wait and sent him a text: "Hey Sebastian, everything's OK, she's safe, don't worry. Thanks for the nice party yesterday." As Sebastian read this text he just thought "What a relief!" and was happy again. He thought she was at home and not that she could be some-where else. Julian didn't intend to make this situation clear and was relieved as well. At least for now he had some time. This way, Julian could always put himself into everybody's position, particularly into Sebastian's.

#40 IRIS

-Are you here? – She asked and called him back to reality. She looked around and was a little bit confused.

He was still invisible, but the lack of concentration could cost him a lot: he could be unmasked and it wasn't what he wanted. He went some steps away from her and watched carefully to see if she noticed something. It was the latest time to show up to her.

He went quickly into the bathroom and left it in his visible form.

-Is something wrong? – He asked innocently and apparently disorientated.

-I don't know anymore. I just thought... Oh, forget it. – She wasn't sure what she was feeling, but she could almost swear she had felt him standing next to her and she couldn't see him. It was weird, very weird.

-No, tell me, please, what you were thinking.

He was very curious about it. Finally, she was the only person so far who wasn't an open book for him to read.

-I feel strange, because I had permanently the feeling that you're here.

-It's my house, it's normal that I'm here. - He joked, but secretly he thought how right she was.

-No, I mean something else. I cannot express it. - She didn't smile. She was serious. – Forget it.

He was still curious how she would explain it and how she perceived her surroundings. She was very sensitive, if she could sense so much. He was interested to what extent.

He had met people who were able to perceive his presence more than any average person was able to. Mostly artistic souls were sensitive enough to feel him. Or people perceived him like an angel or own voice within. How would you respond, if you suddenly heard a voice speaking to you? A normal human reaction was to think how sick you are, and then to think about God. Therefore, it was forbidden to talk to people while being invisible. They had made some bad experiences with such situations, but it was allowed to leave "signs". They could leave an open book on a table and wait until someone saw the specific page, or open a window suddenly and let people think it was something unexplained. Julian preferred the old tactic: while people were sleeping, he spoke to them and they were thinking it was a dream. They dreamed very well and were inspired or motivated to act when they woke up the next morning. If you once had such a feeling after you stood up that you can manage everything or that you will develop a specific idea, then you already met one of Julian's family members. Everyone could be affected.

It wasn't about making people do certain things, but to encourage them. Sometimes you have so many good ideas, but you don't believe you can handle it or you are not convinced about your success and you need just a small push from someone you know or you don't know. Sometimes you don't suppose which strength is hidden inside of you and how much you can achieve. People tend to be caught in limited minds, in their rational way of thinking instead of lingering in the space of their imagination. They walk an already pre-defined track of life without looking for what they long for and that is when they are feeling frustrated. They don't look inside themselves, they don't think about their needs and every dream they have is put aside like a fairytale. Fairytales, you read as a child, and now being an adult, you feel like a fool by reading them again.

People like principles like "Dream your life and live your dream", but they repeat a slogan instead of realizing the idea. They don't have enough courage and enough certainty about their own needs, because they don't allow themselves to think about what they really need. While they sleep, their desires, needs and wishes come to the surface of their mind and you can catch them like a fisher angles fishes.

Julian and his family have been helping people to trust into own courage and to realise own dreams. Without this task their life wouldn't make sense. They have been living for centuries and they had plenty of time to make use of. They brought hope, courage and motivation to people. It was up to them whether they let themselves accept such help or ignore the support. The main rule was that everyone has an own will and nobody should be forced to act in a specific way. It wasn't about implementing slavery. What for? A human life was too short to have any real use for them. And it was against their own principles and own faith.

#41 WHERE DOES THE GOOD GO

When Julian looked at her, he had no words to describe how beautiful Mia was and she had his complete attention. She looked good in his clothes. She could wear anything and she would still look nice. She was sitting at the table and he made her lunch. He wondered what would be his excuse for not participating in this meal. Julian should change the impression she had and use this situation to pretend he was normal. Still, he didn't want to pretend anything that wasn't true.

Mia was observing him and contemplated. She looked concentrated. He wondered what she was thinking about and at the same time he was making scrambled eggs. All other things she might need were already on the table.

-You won't eat with me? – She asked after a while, and she looked as if she knew the answer already.

-No, I'm not hungry.

-You didn't eat breakfast and now you don't eat again. You say I have to rest and take care of myself. – The sarcasm in her voice was perceptible. Still she was very nice to him. Her eyes were smiling.

-It is true. – Julian answered shortly.

-Oh. – It was strange, but she was already convinced her statement at breakfast was true.

He didn't drink and didn't eat. Moreover, he wasn't starving. How was it possible?

He let the time pass by normally and checked in the meanwhile whether her clothes were dry. She didn't notice, but he had already washed them and now they were in the dryer. He didn't want her to eat alone, and he managed to hang up the clothes before she even noticed that he wasn't at the table all the time. Nevertheless, she noticed something; she was watching him more and more curiously.

-What's wrong? – He asked apparently surprised and she didn't answer.

Mia already saw something similar in the guy who called himself Jonas. He introduced himself the first time they met after some years and it wasn't the nicest way to present any person.

As Jonas surprisingly cut her with a knife, he said something hard to understand, but the last part of it was "from Jonas". It was his gift for her. He stabbed this sharp, small carving knife into her leg and moved it a little. If he wanted to, he could easily rotate it in her body and make this wound even worse. He was apparently giving it a thought, but finally he pulled the knife out of her body and left the room. Mia was so thankful that she was wearing a very long sweater, which hid any trace of being hurt. In addition, her jeans were black and nobody could notice the blood. She was only afraid of the smell of blood, but somehow nobody complained about it. Moreover, she was indeed convinced that this wound wasn't as deep as it really was.

Jonas was faster than other people she knew. He had the ability to surprise her with his speed. She was quite good in noticing reactions, but Jonas was still faster. He was stronger than other people although he didn't have muscles like Arnold Schwarzenegger. He once crushed a table as if it wasn't made out of wood but out of paper. He just hit it with his fist and the table burst into pieces. Smaller and bigger pieces of wood flew through the air and she had to put her hands in front of her face to protect her eyes. It was very weird that she saw this destroying act in slow motion. It was maybe not as slow as in real slow motion pictures, but her impression was that everything was passing quite slowly so she could see the danger and react. Splinters of wood were stopped by her clothes and some got directly into her skin. She removed them at home.

Here she had the same impression: it was a question of time. She already knew the feeling of forgetting about time when she read something interesting – time just seemed to pass quicker than normally. Alternatively, when she was in a hurry and every second counted, the clock was really mean in its consistent movement. Time can change according to your feelings. However, here Mia had another perception about time. She couldn't express it with words, but it was a very strange feeling. Sometimes she thought she was crazy, paranoid and surely psychologically disabled; and all of it because of these impressions. Maybe she was crazy... Alternatively, maybe she wasn't the one with a problem. She felt like she was captured between Sunday and Monday and wasn't able to leave the calendar.

Today's morning was one of the time loops when she was sure that it wasn't normal in any human perception. The whole morning took ages although she wasn't bored. She managed to do so many things and she still had time. She admired these two paintings for at least an hour and after a look on her watch, it was just a moment. Maybe her watch was bonkers. Maybe she should change batteries. Maybe she was just too sick and tired and finally she had the opportunity to rest and her body reacted differently?

Now, he was observing her and Mia definitely stroke for him as odd.

-Nothing, nothing. – She whispered and shook her head.

-If you like to, we can go outside. Fresh air doesn't hurt.

She nodded and stood up. Somehow, she wasn't able to eat much recently.

#42 LOVELY DAY

The day was very sunny, but cold. March in Poland is characteristic for many changes. The weather can change over hours and a day can start quite warm and sunny and end up very cold and cloudy. Now it was sunny outside. He brought two rugged wooden chairs and blankets.

She sat down and snuggled into the blanket. The fresh air was great and very clean. The real advantage when you live outside a city is that you can breathe better air every day. She felt like this perfect, cold air filled her lungs. She breathed deeply and enjoyed to keep her breathe. She looked then at the naked bushes and green trees nearby. She liked spring. You could see how fast nature changes. Shy daffodils slowly showed their beauty hidden by disparate pieces of soil. Some birds were singing far away and they could just hear an echo. It was nature pure. She wondered where they might be. You didn't hear any human noise, no cars, no talking, and no phones. It was a paradise.

-Does it all belong to you? – She asked admiringly.

-It is family possession. We already have it for a very long time.

-What means very long time for you?

-Over some centuries I think.

She was surprised and beyond belief.

-And how it is possible? After World War II, property rights were changed and almost no one had private land. More or less the whole land was state property. Is your family something special?

-Yes, you can formulate it in this way.

-Is this the reason why you have these art paintings at home?

He smiled with mixed feelings.

-Yes, you can formulate it in this way. – He repeated.

She looked more carefully into his eyes, but she didn't find any answer to what she was looking for. By the way, she noticed once again that he had beautiful eyes. They were deeply blue what was quite weird, because he didn't have blond hair. His hair was dark, but not black, and a little curly. He was very handsome and sitting right next to her; he was just wonderful.

Mia felt her first butterfly, which awoke from a long sleep and started to move timidly. Its wings started to tremble and it started to fly. She thought that she already knew about its existence, but she didn't want to admit it. She felt this butterfly already weeks ago in her stomach. However, she hadn't realised its beauty nor felt its movements earlier. It was a funny feeling.

Then she thought she needed one minute to notice him, one hour to judge him and one day to fall in love with him.

She was still looking for answers in his eyes and somehow something changed inside of her. On the one hand, she could stay here at the veranda until the end of the world and even a day after it. She could look into his eyes and observe how its colour varied and on the other hand, she felt somehow shy like this butterfly in her stomach, which until now hadn't enough courage to show itself. Moreover, she didn't dare to stare at him the whole time. Therefore, she looked above him at the sky and trees in the background.

The more important he was for her the more she didn't want to think about consequences. She already lost almost her whole family because of Jonas, and Jonas was still keeping her grandmother as a prisoner. The last thing Mia wanted to cause was to put Sebastian or Julian in danger. That was the reason why she limited her contacts with Sebastian and preferred to be alone. Nobody around her was safe.

She promised herself to relax at least today and to think about her problems tomorrow. He didn't intend to bring her back to Warsaw before tomorrow and she had much time to forget about reality. For the first time in her life, she wasn't running away. She could slow down and stay for a moment.

She laid stretched out on the deck chair and closed her eyes. She let the sun play at her face and touch her with warm sun rays. She enjoyed it much. It was like absorbing the sun energy. She was like a solar thermal system.

Julian observed her already extremely fussy and noticed some differences of directions in her thoughts. She was even angry for a while, but he couldn't say to what extent or why.

He should not have spoken with her in this way, but he couldn't use better words. He could just be tougher. Then he noticed that she was mostly happy, more or less because of his company. She was interested in his paintings and he even heard her unsaid admiration of Canaletto and Monet. Then she knew some history what was important for him, because for him history wasn't just a subject at school, but it was a part of his existence. Finally, she was just cute.

Julian felt her look at him and tried to discover what it meant. She was concentrated, but she was minimally smiling at him and her eyes were bright and sparkling. Her eyes were very vivid and somehow flirting. He couldn't find the dark shadow he had already seen a couple of times, when she wasn't aware that he was looking at her. He was happy having her here at his side and watching how she was enjoying the weather and being here. It was wonderful and if he hadn't started to think of Sebastian at this moment, it would have been just perfect.

Sebastian was as well thinking about her. He already called her "his girl" although they hadn't much in common. She has been working for him and they went running a couple of times. She stayed in his apartment and felt very well there. They didn't talk much, but there was a strong connection between them.

Julian looked deeper into the memories of Sebastian and saw everything what Sebastian ever thought about her. The problem was that he couldn't see Mia as sharp as other people. She remained blurry, hazily. Her face wasn't recognizable. If Julian didn't know that she was the one at the side of Sebastian, then, he never ever would come to this idea. He drew another conclusion: it was impossible for him to watch her in memories and thoughts of Sebastian. Was it depending on her or on Sebastian?

Then, Julian looked closer at Sebastian's memories. He was able to see it as a movie or like a photo album. Julian was surprised by the memory of her coming too late to the teahouse and not speaking a word. For Sebastian this whole situation had some highlights. At first, he remembered very well the look on her face as he saw her. Unfortunately, it was impossible for Julian to see it. Then Sebastian's memory underlined the fact of going to Sebastian's home. He was driving and Mia wasn't there with her mind. Julian felt this emotion of Sebastian very well. Mia was lost in her thoughts back then. When Sebastian stopped and left the car, she was still sitting in the car and didn't move until he came to her and forced her to follow him. Sebastian had to hold her hand and lead her through the street and then up the stairs. Sebastian's memory pointed out how cold her hands were and how absent she was. However, holding her hand was incredible for Sebastian. He was so in love.

The third highlight scene in Sebastian's memories was drinking tea with her, which he just made. The cup was very hot and the tea was even hotter. In addition, she drank it as if it was something she was doing daily or as if she didn't feel the heat at this moment.

Other memories were connected with their running appointments. She seemed to be always focussed and he was just running beside her. She could run alone and it wouldn't make a great difference. However, Sebastian's memory showed some feelings between them, some sympathy and communication without words. For Julian it wasn't so easy to understand. For him she wasn't even a friend of Sebastian and that is why he asked himself why Sebastian called her "his girl". It was obviously too much.

Of course, there were the latest memories in Sebastian's mind. She was standing at the door and looked at him. Then she hugged him. She was warm and lovely. In fact, he was the happiest man alive.

#43 FEEL

The rest of the day passed by slowly and they didn't talk much. Julian even left her alone on the veranda so that she could feel better and contemplate in peace. He came back in his invisible form and watched Mia. It was fascinating for him to see how she was thinking about something. She smiled and then she was bothered and then she was happier again.

It was always interesting for him to watch people when they didn't see him and thought they were alone. Then they sometimes acted according to the well-known saying of Mark Twain: "Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth."

In addition, her person was so interesting for him that he could watch her for hours. She was a riddle for him and it was the first reason for him to be interested in her, solving her riddle. He had to puzzle for the first time. Until now, he never had to try to understand a human without reading minds. He already knew that she was different from other people. Julian couldn't describe it with words, but he had a special feeling about her and she became his obsession from the very beginning. Something inside of him wanted to have her at his side and to protect her all the time, to make her happy, to care about her. He didn't know that feeling until he met her.

Moreover, he saw her not only through his eyes, but he saw some sides of her through Sebastian's eyes. His best friend seemed to be charmed by her as well. It was very complicated. On the one hand, Julian was somehow jealous of Sebastian, because his best friend had more opportunities to get to know her and he didn't use them in the best possible way. He could get her to talk about something and he just left her doing what she wanted to do and didn't get any information from her, if she didn't give it to him. Sebastian was in love with her.

Love... Julian heard this word so much and he has already observed many fates of people. He could reconstruct mother love or family relationships. His family was important for him, too, but it wasn't the kind of feeling which humans had. Love seemed to be a special feeling, which he didn't understand and didn't feel. He was able to like someone or even like very much, but he wasn't able to let himself fall, because there was no feeling of any need to do it.

Julian liked to see Mia smiling. Even if she didn't realize it, he was still observing her. He liked to see her astonished by something, e.g. his paintings. She was sweet and innocent, a daydreamer and very creative. Mia had the flaw of freshness and curiosity, which often seems to lead you into trouble. He liked her coldness, coolness, and self-control. However, the way he liked anything about her was different from why he liked other beings. It wasn't comparable with feelings towards his family and towards humans. She made him feel in a special, unique way. And he enjoyed it. He enjoyed feeling this way.

In fact, she was the first being, which was very special for him. At her side, he knew he was at the right place. It was like a beginning of a new life or achieving a new level that you didn't know that exists. Of course, he knew there was such a feeling, but to know about it and to feel it, made a huge difference. You know about many things, but still you don't feel everything. It is as if you tried to describe how it is to be replete when you have a starving person around. Julian didn't eat and every description of taste made no sense to him. He wasn't able to imagine whether something was delicious, spicy, too salty, tasty or juicy. It was like with colours: whether you can see red, white, orange, blue and all their possible shades or not. In the area of food, he was a victim of food daltonism. In the area of love, he was presently making first steps. He saw more than just himself and her. The range of feelings, which she has brought to his life already, dazzled him. He couldn't understand it and maybe that was the point: you cannot understand love; you have to feel it. He stood in front of her and looked at her in silence. People repeated over centuries that you have to follow your heart and to do what you know is right. Julian felt she was his destiny and he trusted it.

However, there were some sorrows, which bothered him. First, he didn't know much about her. He tried to find as much information about her as he could, but it still wasn't much. This was the smallest sorrow.

Next, there was Sebastian, his best friend at this time. At least Sebastian repeated it all the time and Julian didn't mind. He already had some "best friends forever" and sooner or later they died, because humans don't live long from his perspective. This was a problem with many faces. Sebastian felt something about Mia as well and Sebastian was a human; Mia was a human and it could work out. Such an idea made Julian angry inside. It couldn't work out. In fact, this was a problem. As you know, worldwide, you don't start anything with a girlfriend or ex-girlfriend of your best friend. There were two solutions: leave the best friend behind or forget about the girl. Both options were not possible, because Sebastian was his responsibility and she was a special person for him. To leave one of them alone would be a massive betrayal.

Julian once dreamt of her and he carried this picture with him over centuries. He already knew her face before he even had to know her. Moreover, Sebastian wasn't only his best friend, but also a person he was responsible for. Julian's activities should be directed to help Sebastian to be happy and satisfied.

How should Julian decide who was more important for him? He wasn't able to. Both of them were unique and significant and he couldn't make a choice. If Sebastian got mad about her, Julian could still care about him in his invisible form, and he could observe Mia in the same way. Nevertheless, Julian had to be close to Sebastian until it was important. Moreover, he couldn't say how long it should take.

He already gave spiritual counsel to Sebastian, but Sebastian didn't realize it. Julian was mostly invisible and at first as Sebastian moved to Warsaw he arranged a get-together and in this way, they met each other personally.

#44 CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE

Although she walked with a little limp, she seemed to be better. She said him good night and closed the door of the room in which she slept last night. She laid down and closed her eyes. This day was very long and very complicated. She was deeply tired and she fell asleep soon. He came into her room when he was already sure that she was sleeping. Her hair was dispersed over a bolster making her look cute. She was dreaming something nice, because she sometimes smiled. He enjoyed watching her.

Later that night he left her shortly and went outside. He liked watching the sky and tonight it was almost cloudless. He stood at the veranda and looked up. There were millions of stars shining more or less brightly and this never changed. Whether he was in Scandinavia or in Africa, now or centuries ago, he always looked at the sky and felt great. This always gave him energy to carry on.

That is why he had a house outside of the city. The artificial lights made it impossible to watch stars and without seeing them above, he didn't feel well. He heard something moving and listened to the sounds. They were quite quiet. He recognized her hobbling steps. She was going downstairs without saying a word. She opened the front door and came out. She wasn't surprised to see him and kept silent. She came closer to him. She held a candle in her hand and blew it out when she came outside. Then she looked up, too. She loved to watch stars as well.

Mia's red blanket covered her, but she was shivering a little. Nights in March can be quite cold. She didn't care about it. She was breathing regularly and smiled. Julian came one step closer without looking at her and rubbed her back to warm her up. She leant her head at his arm; she wasn't tall enough to lean it at his shoulder when he was standing. They didn't move for a while.

Stars are maybe blind, but they were shining in a wonderful way. You could see the Milky Way and every brilliant from above was sparkling. The moon was on the other side of the house, so the stars caught their whole attention.

She admired the stars, and also contemplated. She reacted spontaneously without thinking. But as she leant her head against him she got scared and insecure about her own behaviour. She didn't want to show him how important he had become for her, but she was tired, she was in a half-sleep and she wasn't able to control herself. He had a strong compact body and she needed support, because her leg started to hurt. She was shocked by her behaviour and it alerted her so much that she indeed perked up. Now it would be strange to step back and act like it never happened. However, he started it! He touched her back and almost pulled her slightly closer to him. In fact, she lost her balance and so she altered her position for a second. This was her analytical excuse, if anyone ever asked. However, it was great to stand close for a while. It felt in fact fantastic. He didn't push her away. He didn't move as if he didn't want to scare her and trigger a new reaction. He was obviously happy with this situation.

Mia felt then like Shakespeare's Juliet: "So dear I love him that with him, all deaths I could endure. Without him, live no life".

#45 CITY CALLS YOU

The early morning of the next day was quite strange. She ate her breakfast quickly and was prepared to go back to Warsaw. She seemed to be waiting for some news. With every look and every movement, she said how fast she wanted to leave this place. It was only 7 o'clock. According to her feeling of time, it was already too late.

As he unlocked the car, she jumped in and waited until he sat down near at the wheel.

-And how are you? – Julian asked as they were leaving his property.

-Great, really, I am so happy having spent this time here. You will not believe me how much. – She really meant it this way.

-I am glad that you liked this stay. You have a permanent invitation to my house. – He said solemnly and smiled.

-Oh, thank you very much. Maybe I will use it someday. Who knows? – She smiled back but soon took on her rushed look again.

-I have just one question. – He said and she looked suspiciously at him. – Why are you using two different first names? I asked myself, but I couldn't explain it to me.

She looked away and was silent for a while.

-It is a long story. Shortly speaking there is Anna Emilia everywhere in my documents, but I prefer to be called Mia like my parents called me.

This past tense form revealed him some new information, but she didn't add anything more and he was left with too many options. Because of her short sentences and minimal input of information, it was always hard to get to know her. Maybe that is why she was more fascinating than a person, which was solved from the very beginning. She was like a song of Linkin Park: gentle, melodic, and mysterious and at the same time thought-out and rocking.

He turned on the radio but he didn't find any music he liked. He left her in the middle of Warsaw as she wanted to and of course, there was no possibility to park his car and he lost her in a city for the second time.

She had this incredible ability to vanish into thin air. He thought about how he will find her this time. At least now, he had some more information about her and he knew who had her cell phone number.

#46 UNDER THE WAVES

Easter Holidays were approaching. This year these holidays were quite late, in April. Everyone at school already enjoyed the atmosphere and talked about what they are going to do with their free time. There is even a catchword in Poland: "Prove what is more important: Christmas or Easter Days?", if you don't know the order. Easter is one of the most important celebratory in Poland and you could feel it in the air.

-And you, Mia, what do you associate with Easter holidays? – asked Justyna, one of the classmates and looked curious at her friend. Mia looked at her and pushed her book a little further away from her.

-What do I associate with Easter? –She repeated the question and for the first time she had no prepared an answer for it. She scratched her forehead and after a short break said:

-When I was a little child, we celebrated Easter with my parents. I helped baking cakes: I helped to melt the butter, put a full hand of raisins into the cake mass. At this time, I sat on the floor of mum's kitchen where you had a fascinating coal range. Of course, painting eggs belonged to my main duties. Sometimes we used the old way to paint: an onion, beetroot and grass. How ecological!

-Oh! – Justyna was involved. – Did you blow eggs, too? I wasn't really good at it, my sister was much better, and I was always wondering how she was doing it. But I painted them colourful.

-And we sometimes even stole eggs! – said Magda.

Mia noticed that girls were pleased by having even a short conversation with her. Last time Mia didn't talk much. She never talked much, but it was getting even worse during the last weeks. Nobody knew what was going on with her, but somehow this attitude didn't annoy anybody. She looked just tired and sometimes you had the impression that she would fall asleep during boring lessons.

She got a medical certificate that she wasn't allowed to participate in school sports and she could go home earlier. However, she usually stayed for these lessons and watched her classmates playing basketball or volleyball. You almost envied her for not being allowed to take part in sports. Before, she sometimes played with them, but she wasn't a good player. She never knew where the ball was and whom she should play it to.

Because of Easter Holidays, everyone was glad and excited. It was a free time and you could do with it whatever you wanted to do. Just Mia wasn't so pleased about it. She should spend the complete time alone. Even running wouldn't help much. Knowing that Jonas had her grandmother was already a continuous missile that shot her every morning.

Then Sebastian called her and asked whether she had time to spend Easter with him. Mia didn't know what to answer. She liked him very much, but it was impossible to spend Easter with him and his family. She was so not a family-girl!

Sebastian said something that changed the whole situation:

-I have no family. My parents died, when I was a boy. I invited Julian, too. He has no family, either.

Mia answered she would think about it. She had never been so unsure of what to do before. It was a shock for her that Sebastian, a person who was so sociable, was an orphan. She wanted to know how he was brought up and how his parents died, but it wouldn't be polite to step by and ask this kind of question. She didn't want to be asked in this way, either, and she assumed that he was similar.

Moreover, Mia felt strange thinking about spending the time with two boys who were very important for her. She loved them both in different ways. She came to this conclusion some days ago when she was lying in her bed starring at a camera in her room. She had just returned from a visit to Jonas and she was tired. This time he didn't cut her, he barely slapped her and it was a weird change. Mia was happy about it, but she was searching for reasons. Nothing happened without a reason and such a calculated and mean person like Jonas had to have a reason to behave the way he did. From the very moment she came into the dark and large room, Jonas had observed her with a different expression in his eyes. He came to her smiling with satisfaction.

Mia had no clue what he was thinking and why he was so pleased.

Then he pushed her on a wall and as she fell on the floor after she crushed with the wall, Jonas smiled even more.

-You can rest quickly. That is impressive. – Jonas said observing her successful effort to stand up.

Mia didn't answer; instead, she stood straight again. She was like a soldier who is waiting for commands.

Jonas came to her rapidly and then he went away with the same incredible speed. He was a step aside from the opposite wall and started to walk here and back. He was thinking about something. Every now and then, he looked at her and he touched his cheeks with his right hand. His left arm laid on his chest. There was something in her, which changed his attitude. Mia was reflecting her past, but she wasn't able to concentrate as long as she was here, in his company, in the danger zone.

Jonas jumped and was almost in front of her. There were just some steps, which separated them. His aggression was written in his eyes, but his face stayed calm and controlled.

Mia wished she could be so cruel and mean as he was. She wanted to slap him back and see how he would react. Maybe he felt her attitude, because he slapped her as if she were a matchstick. She was almost broken into two parts. The pain in her stomach took control over her mind and she felt nothing but something tumbling in her tummy. She hoped her ribs were OK. Everything else was already infected with the pain syndrome. She fell on her knees and hugged herself.

Jonas went again to the opposite side of the room and was unsettled. He apparently wasn't sure what to do. On the one hand, he was smiling like a winner, and then he was afraid of something. While he was moving from one end of the room to the other, Mia tried to persuade herself that the slap wasn't so heavy and her body should not be sending so many negative signals to her head.

She didn't even notice when he appeared next to her and bowed himself over her.

-We finished for today. Go home.

His words sounded like crushed ice thrown into a cocktail. It was the first time when she was glad to hear his voice. However, she wasn't able to stand up fast; she took her time. In the meanwhile, Jonas left the room without saying anything else.

With fever and pulsating pictures which her mind perceived by looking around, Mia finally managed to leave the room and stood in the corridor. Two of Jonas bodyguards grasped her arms and pulled her to the black BMW. They didn't help her to get in, they just threw her into the cabin as if she was a piece of something and not a human. Nobody waited until she clasped the belt, the car was already in motion. Mia wasn't able to put anything on her stomach right now. She felt unwell and she was physically sick. She was embarrassed by puking in his car, because even in such a situation she wanted to keep good manners. She wasn't able to control her body anymore. Afterwards she used her sweater's sleeves to remove the vomit from her lips.

When they finally got to her street, one of the bodyguards opened her door and waited until she slowly got out of the car. The world still looked fuzzy, and she needed to steady herself on the house walls to reach her apartment. It was as if she climbed the Mount Everest: it took long until she achieved her goal and she was exhausted.

Mia opened the door and stepped in. She stayed in the hall a longer while and breathed deeply. When she was able to move again, she got into her room and took other clothes from the wardrobe. Then she went at a snail's pace to the bathroom. She filled cold-water into the bath tube and took her sweater and jeans off. The sweater landed directly in the washing machine. Her pants were lying messily at the floor. She stepped into the bath and the cold water was gingering her up. She was lying there and looked at the opposite wall without any expression in her eyes or in her heart. Everything was so. Whatever right now!

She let herself fall and in the next moment, she was totally under the water surface. She opened her eyes and watched the water's surface from below. Mia didn't feel the cold stitching her body from everywhere. She felt her fever was going away, and instead there was a feeling of flying. She kept her breath in and her eyes were still open. She didn't move, she didn't come to the surface to breathe in again, she was just lying there in the water and she wasn't even able to think. After a moment, she saw Sebastian looking at her. He was apparently worried about her, was talking to her, but she didn't understand what he said. Mia didn't react. She didn't feel any happiness or joy seeing him. She was rather astonished about what she saw. Then Sebastian changed into Julian. He was nervous and worried even more than Sebastian before. Mia tried to smile at him, but she didn't want to move. It felt so cosy here now. She could stay here forever.

Her pain went away and her body started to become solid like a stone. In addition, her body became heavier and heavier. Mia wasn't able to move her hand and wave at Julian who was still looking at her. Then Julian disappeared into black. Water wasn't noticeable anymore. Mia was in a black vacuum and there was nothing around her. Only the black colour...

Suddenly a bright point started to shine in front of her. Mia tried to smile, but she could not. Her body became a part of this black mass and it didn't react the way Mia intended. This fact didn't scare her at all. Everything was still so whatever-like.

Then she saw her own face looking at her. It was a bright, thin face, calm and friendly. Mia's last thought was that she was dreaming. In addition, she wanted to stop dreaming. She wanted to stop running away. Her face was smiling gracious at her. In the background, she could hear a song:

I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through  
So I want to say thank you  
'Cause it makes me that much stronger  
Makes me work a little bit harder  
It makes me that much wiser  
So thanks for making me a fighter  
Made me learn a little bit faster  
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter  
So thanks for making me a fighter

Somehow she got a breath.

Mia sat in the bathtub, she was trembling and coughing heavily. She felt she got cold and her lungs demanded more fresh air, more oxygen. Slowly she stood up and went out of the bathtub. She noticed that she was still wearing her underwear and a cotton shirt. She was still catching for breath and her first thought was that she was a very stupid person. Did she mean to kill herself or did she not? What was she doing? She was shocked and now she felt the cold and needed to warm up. Her whole body was trembling and her arms were white-grey. She took a towel and covered herself with it. She sat down at the bath and let warm water coming out. Then she put her hands under the warm stream, which brought life back into her veins. However, she didn't let herself go once again into the water. She was scared by her own action.

When her hands were quite warm, she took the towel off and dressed. While she was naked, she looked at her stomach and it was blue. The rest of her body was still ashen-coloured. Just this one slap of Jonas stayed as a souvenir on her skin.

Earlier she had some nice, suitable sweaters. Since she met Jonas, she bought three long pullovers that covered everything what should stay hidden. She looked now rather like a wannabe-rapper from California than old Mia. She wondered how she would hide Jonas's traces when summer comes. Assuming she will survive until then.

After Mia left the bathroom, she made herself a warm cacao and went to her own room. She laid down in her clothes and slippers on the bed. Mia thought everything through once again and even more extensively. She realized that these two boys were very important to her and she had to fight for her hopes, for her dreams, for her future. With or without them, but she had to fight. Every meeting with Jonas should make her stronger, thicker and wiser. Was this the lesson she had to learn today?

The morning could come. She was prepared.

#47 MAN FOR ALL SEASONS

She called Sebastian back and said, she won't be able to spend the Easter Monday with him, but the Sunday was OK. Sebastian was pleased about it and told her that Julian was thinking about visiting him at Sunday and for Sebastian everything was fine.

Mia mentioned that she wasn't that kind of person who celebrates anything and she would enjoy cooking with him or doing something. She wasn't good in sitting and talking. Sebastian agreed and they had a met on Sunday. As she to his door, she wasn't sure whether she was doing the right thing. Her voice within craved for company and being a part of people's life, but her mind was strictly against this wish. Mia had "free time" from Jonas who didn't get in touch with her for two weeks now after their last meeting and she was relieved about it.

After Sebastian opened the door, she came in and was surprised. First, Sebastian was looking great with his chilly, bright green shirt with blue stripes and simple jeans. His welcoming attitude was shown in his smile, in his gestures, in the way he helped her take off her jacket.

Because it was already almost two weeks that she didn't meet Jonas, Mia felt much better and healthy. She wasn't hurt and this was a state which she started to appreciate. You never know how much you possess until you lose it.

She wore her favourite white, plain shirt with ¾ sleeves. She was able to wear it, because no bruises were to be seen. In addition, she was so happy about it! Her eyes were shining and her joy was spreading around like the magic powder of Peter Pan. Sebastian was almost flying.

When she came into his living room, she was stunned. She didn't expect Easter decoration on the table. "Swieconka" what means a little basket with some basic items like a piece of bread, at least one egg, salt, sausages and some leaves of the box tree, stood on the table in the most visible position. This basket is usually taken to church and then a priest sprinkles it symbolically with Holy Water. The Holy Egg is shared with your family members before the breakfast on Easter Sunday. Mia felt strange. Did he really expect sharing an Easter Egg with her? They were no family and she didn't want to celebrate anything.

Then she saw the Easter ram. Easter Ram was traditionally made from a cake mass, earlier even from butter. Now there are rather porcelain rams and one of them stood on the table. These have sometimes even no Easter attributes. The Easter Ram made from the cake mass was dried, then cut, put into milk and eggs, baked and eaten with cinnamon and sugar. It was a little bit like the German "Poor Knight". And such a porcelain ram stood next to the basket.

She remembered the sugar ram which stood in her home back then when her parents were still alive. She was moved. That was the reason why she didn't want to celebrate anything what was connected with family.

On the table was some food: traditionally cooked eggs, sausages, even the white sausages (a little bit like the Bavarian white sausages), ham and baked turkey. Mia asked herself whether they wanted to cook anything together? It looked rather like sitting around and talking. She already got the impulse to run away. She fought with herself to keep smiling. She wasn't very convincing about it, because Sebastian asked:

-You don't like it?

She didn't want to lie and shook her head.

-You know, I always celebrated Easter with my sister and we prepared everything together. Yesterday it was an impulse of me to do it the same way we did it with my sister.

-Where's your sister now? – Mia asked spontaneously.

-She died in a car accident. It was three years ago. I wanted to move to Warsaw and start studying here. After this accident, I lost every connection to my hometown. I just moved forward and met Julian on the way. Since then we celebrate such occasions together. Unfortunately, he couldn't come here today. Fortunately, you are here.

Sebastian was speaking calmly and for the first time Mia noticed his distant kind of being.

-If you would like to, we can bake a cake. – He added shortly to change the topic. It wasn't easy for him to talk about his past and Mia understood it even better than he thought. That was the reason why he wanted so much to have someone at his side on these days: he didn't want to be alone with his memories.

At least he had memories. Mia had just some pictures of her family in her head and in the meanwhile, she wasn't even sure whether she remembered everything in the right way. She was three years old and you cannot consciously remember many things at this age.

They went to the kitchen and Sebastian took everything out they needed to bake a cake.

Mia wasn't sure whether she did right, but she started to whisper, when he was looking over the kitchen's table to check if everything was prepared for baking.

-I am an orphan, too.

This sentence came so surprisingly from her mouth that he wasn't sure he heard correctly. Sebastian didn't push her to further confessions and she was pleased about it. Now he could understand her background better. Moreover, he was almost so far to bet that she had a sexual harassment-oriented father and a mother who didn't care about her. Mia had to be from a well-educated family, but she didn't want to go home, when she spent so much time outside: previously in the teahouse, by running, and now in his apartment. She didn't like to be touched and she always kept her distance. She didn't look like a person from an orphan asylum; therefore, Sebastian assumed one of her family members took care of her. He was curious how Mia lost her parents, and this question was in the air.

Mia looked at him seriously and asked:

-What kind of cake do we want to make?

Sebastian noticed that she used "we" and he was happy about it.

-Oh, I don't know, something easy. I am rather a master of disaster in the kitchen.

Mia looked around and saw butter, sugar, flour and eggs.

-Do you have any fruits?

Sebastian looked in the fridge:

-I have only cherry jam, and bananas.

-OK, so we do an easy sponge cake. Mrs. Nowak taught me how to bake it. I am a master of disaster in the cooking and baking area, as well. – Mia said laughingly.

Sebastian laughed with her.

She ordered him to cream the butter and sugar together until they became light and fluffy, and then he added three eggs to the mass. In the meanwhile, she folded in the sifted flour and filled the mixture into the prepared cake tins. They stood arm in arm, were laughing and behaved mischievously: Sebastian pushed her a little and she spilled the flour, then she pulled him aside and one egg landed on the floor.

After that, Mia ordered to bake the mass for 20 minutes. In the meanwhile, they went into the living room and switched on the television. Instead of watching movies or television transmission from a mass, they watched MTV and laughed furthermore. Mia didn't sit down on his couch, but on the carpet. Sebastian followed her and they didn't stop to push themselves every now and then.

-If you are hungry, the wishing-table stands over there. – Sebastian said suddenly and Mia smiled. He was cute. He was funny and attentive. He even brewed her cherry-vanilla tea in the meantime. It was a very good, new feeling of getting attention from another person. Mia enjoyed it. Then, he pushed her once again.

When cake was already cool, they left the living room, but left the music playing. Mia removed the cake from the tins. Together they whipped the cream until thick and used it to fill the sponge cake with the jam. Because Sebastian had no icing, they couldn't dust it. However, it was no problem. The cake looked very good. They were proud of their job.

When they finished, Sebastian brought the cake into the living room and they stood in front of the table. Sebastian took an egg out of the basket and gave it to Mia:

-I wish you all the best.

Mia looked at him with a smile and after a moment, she accepted the gift.

-I wish you all the best, too.

Sebastian was on his private cloud nine. Then, she hugged him.

#48 MEAN MAN

The next morning wasn't funny at all. Mia woke up from a nightmare and stood up quickly. She dressed quickly and went to the living room. She switched on the television and sat down on the carpet. Today was so far, far away from yesterday. It was a great day with Sebastian. They laughed and were like silly kids without any worries. It was funny to have a pillow fight after eating. Although a great part of Sebastian's living room was covered with feathers afterwards, he didn't complain. He was happy. Fortunately, they put the rest of the food into the fridge so no feathers got into their meals.

Sebastian mentioned that event that wouldn't have been a problem. He wasn't eating much and Julian wasn't eating at all. Mia remembered this short statement, but she didn't show any reaction to it or any interest in Julian. Sebastian was very happy about it.

Then they watched a movie together. It was one of the highlights of the TV programme on that day. It wasn't the newest movie, it was just "The Bourne Identity" and Mia followed the action with little interest. She kept asking herself the question who she was and who Julian was. Sebastian enjoyed the movie and was pleased to watch it in her company.

Then she said she had to go back home and hugged him good-bye.

On her way home, she noticed the grey sky and the darkness, which slowly chased the day away. This time she was just walking. She didn't run. Once more she was analysing the latest emotions and facts. It was nice to have a brother's soul close to her. She could more often enjoy a very nice and optimistic afternoon like this, if it was possible. As she was so cheerful and happy down the street, she saw the black BMW parked near her home. She didn't slow down, she didn't walk faster. With the same expression on her face, she crossed the street and didn't look into the direction pretending she didn't notice the car.

She went into her apartment and waited. Nothing happened. Carefully, she looked out of the window. The car was still there. It was strange. It disturbed her good mood and set lose another stream of thoughts. Even late at night the car still stood there and she wasn't able to fall asleep.

#49 CHILDREN OF THE REVOLUTION

Someone knocked at his door and Sebastian got up and opened it without even looking who was knocking. He smiled, because he saw Mia at the door. She smiled, too.

-Hello. – Mia said.

-Come in. – Sebastian opened the door wider and wanted to let her in. He was surprised by her visit, but it was more important for him to have her here than to wonder about the why. He looked at her and wondered why she changed so much towards him. He appreciated this change, and hoped for more nice surprises.

-I already told you, I am not a party girl. It's not my world. I am sorry. – She said and didn't move another step. She didn't intend to come in. – And I am not the sporty one, either.

He didn't know what to say, so he waited for further information.

-I would rather drink a tea with you...

It wasn't everything she wanted to tell him. However, he already took her by the hand and pulled her into his apartment. She saw it coming and let it happen. This wasn't the plan.

He jumped and went into the kitchen. While he was looking for a cup for her, she had already taken off her jacket and followed him into the kitchen. As he turned around, she was standing and he couldn't stop smiling. She showed more self-control.

-What kind of tea do you like? – He asked. – I have even a banana-vanilla tea.

-I love tea, just anything.

As the tea was ready, they sat down in the kitchen and she asked him how he was doing lately. They hadn't seen each other for many days. He told her about his latest troubles when he went shopping and had an issue with his credit card, because it couldn't be read. It was locked after three attempts, he went to the bank and complained and of course, everything was sorted now, but he was still twisted nerved. He explained her how angry he was, gesticulating vividly during all his monologue. She was laughing every now and then because of the way he expressed himself. Sebastian also explained the competition with Julian, because Julian's car was faster, which was of course known from the very beginning. Sebastian didn't want to admit it and so they organized a short race and his car just marooned him. After this contest, he had to exchange some significant details on his car. The more she listened to him the more he talked. She didn't stop him and didn't ask anything. She was following his stories and enjoyed it.

After more than two hours of monologue and two pots of tea, Mia brought him back to reality by saying she had to go. Only then, he noticed how much he had talked and he was confused, but in a positive way. He couldn't believe this was real.

She left him as quickly as she arrived, but she left him in a kind of mood, which he wished to be in every day. Although his mind was full of doubts and questions, he was so happy inside that he could jump right up to the sky. After she left, he literally did it.

From this day on, she dropped in at least once a week and she didn't talk much. She let Sebastian talk; sat quietly in his kitchen and drank tea. Sometimes they had dinner and afterwards they dished together. He told her some stories or talked about his lectures and problems with the study material. Sometimes he brought up stories about his friends; she just nodded and it was hard for her to follow, because she didn't know his other friends. Mia met them briefly during his birthday party, but apparently, she wasn't very interested in spending time with other people. Whenever he asked her whether she would like to join a meeting with other people, she definitely rejected. Sebastian didn't try to convince her, but he kept on offering such opportunities to her. On the one hand, he would have been very glad to take her with him and show her to his friends. On the other hand, he didn't want to share her with others and this intensity was his only problem at that time.

He didn't notice her increasing weakness and that her face became whiter and whiter. He saw "his" girl visiting him and listening to his stories. She also started wearing natural make-up and it was really hard to see what was going on with her. She looked even prettier to him. Her look got a special expression because she brushed her eyes.

Sometimes after dinner, she stayed in his place for an hour or two and translated some texts that he prepared for her. He was surprised how quick she was. She never took her work with her, she always finished it here, in his apartment and if there wasn't enough time to finish it, she continued it the next time she was there. He gave her his second notebook to work on and while she typed they talked about what she translated. Most of the times, it was some material about historic highlights as the French Revolution or battles between Scotland and England. He didn't understand French and she seemed to be very good.

-So, the French Revolution is definitely your passion. – He said.

-I like history and the French Revolution was quite important. Years of feudal oppression and fiscal mismanagement contributed to a French society that was ripe for revolt. Usually a revolt develops its own life. I like to learn about people who fight for their ideas. Mostly it doesn't end luckily for them, but our ancestors' fights are always causing something great.

She spoke quietly, but had fire in her eyes. She got emotional when it came to such topics. She sometimes read to him in French and even if he didn't understand a word, he was very pleased to hear her voice. It was better than watching a theatre play. She was a real expressive person when she wasn't herself. Usually, she always controlled herself and her emotions were well hidden. Now, she read something about the downfall of Robespierre and people who were tired of the terror and "Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité" sounded very impressive how she pronounced them.

He tried to find some French texts for her and usually had no problems to find some. He took over the translation bureau from his father after he had an accident three years ago and now he was responsible for almost everything. He had to fulfil orders and win new clients. His old clients were quite loyal and as long as cost effectiveness was guaranteed, the clients were satisfied and loyal. The translations were some academic texts that were supposed to be used as reliable sources or as a basis for better understanding a topic. Sometimes they wanted to have a short summary of the translated text in addition to the translation and with such tasks Mia was the best. She read him these passages aloud and then she briefly summarized them. She had a wonderful style of writing. It was almost as if she came from another century and could write like kings used to do. She didn't use a pen, she used a feather.

#50 THUNDER

Last time she asked him to call her Mia.

-Why not Anna, it's a pretty name.

-Yes, sure. It is in all my documents and you know it's quite officially. My parents called me Mia and I like to be called like that by people who are important for me.

He was important for her. He was so happy!

-OK, it's not a problem, Mia. Now I get why I couldn't come to a common point with you, it is because Julian.

-Julian? How come?

-He was looking for a girl he met on his way and he said her name was Mia. He was looking for you.

Mia was surprised. She didn't expect Julian to look for her and he never mentioned it before. In fact, they didn't have many opportunities to talk. Moreover, it would be very silly to ask: "Were you looking for me?"

-Julian was looking for me? – Mia repeated carefully.

Sebastian was a little confused. Her voice was different. Was Julian important to her?

Mia saw a shadow of sorrow in Sebastian's face and she didn't want him to think there was something between her and Julian. There was nothing. Maybe she was in love with him, but he wasn't in love with her. Therefore, there was no need to talk about it.

-And how did you meet Julian? He mentioned he gave you a ride, but he didn't say anything else.

-It was just a ride and I didn't know that he was from Warsaw.

-He isn't actually. He often drives here and there. He was in many European countries before and I have always been jealous that he travels so much.

-I have more the impression that he's here all the time. I just can't lose this feeling. – She said and waited for Sebastian's reaction, but he didn't understand what she was talking about.

Mia had this impression, when she was here at Sebastian's place that Julian was there, too. It was a confusing feeling. She didn't continue to share her feelings with Sebastian. She started talking about something that wasn't connected with Julian, and Sebastian was very pleased about it. Every time she mentioned the name of his best friend, Sebastian got a small stitch in his heart and some fear tried to overwhelm him. Fortunately, she always had a feeling when to change a discussion theme and his fears never really plagued him.

As always she suddenly said she had to go home and she left Sebastian in his apartment filled with happiness and joy.

#51 MEMORIES

Once when she was leaving Sebastian's house she felt even stronger that Julian was observing her. She felt his presence at her side. She couldn't explain it, but she could swear he was there. She felt physically better and she managed not to hobble. It was important for her that nobody saw her pain. In addition, it was especially important that Julian didn't get it.

Julian stood on the other side of the street. He stood behind some parked cars and was watching her. She was even relieved to see him, and smiled shyly in his direction. She looked for any reaction on his face, but he didn't smile back. He didn't give her any sign to approach him. She stood there for a moment, her smile was gone and she still waited for his reaction, but it didn't make any sense. However, he was really standing there and didn't move. He was observing her. He didn't make any move into her direction. He avoided her and tried to keep the distance. He was stone-faced and seemed to be very calm. Every muscle of his body was strained. He didn't look very friendly at this moment. He looked so alien, even worse than a stranger in a bad neighbourhood. She was even scared of him at this moment.

She didn't cross the street to go to him. She tried not to look back at him. She felt his gaze at her back and she tried to go more straight and normal. She didn't know how to react now. She would like to spend more time with him, but he was so strange. He didn't eat and his presence was very intense for her. She already felt him as she was at Sebastian's. Now he even rejected any contact to her. It was somehow rude. A short "Hello" or even a short smile would have been enough just because they know each other. Instead, he completely ignored her.

On the other hand, Julian was too fascinating and magnificent to ignore. He was like a magnet that attracted her. The butterfly in Mia's stomach had woken up, apparently in the most inappropriate moment and for the most unsuitable person. It was like ice and fire at the same time. She had always listened to her inner voice and so far, she did well. She reduced her feelings to a small shadow hidden at the bottom of her heart. This is where she put all the emotions that she wanted to forget. These emotions were like living photos. Every memory she had was just a captured moment, which made it easy to hide. Sometimes these snapshots appeared and she would look at them shortly as if she would watch a family album.

She knew she could see every detail in these pictures, she could look at them and she felt just pain. There were no distinct emotions, only undefined pain, all her emotions were captured together and she wasn't able to distinguish between single ones. She felt the same way now when she thought about Jonas. Her fear, her rage, her fury were like one undefined mix of feelings. The same way she felt about Julian. It was one feeling, made of a mix of various feelings she couldn't define. She was able to define them now, when she was feeling them, but later on, when they became a part of the past, it wasn't possible anymore. It was her way of protecting herself. She didn't allow herself to feel for a long time and now the depth of emotions she actually felt surprised her.

She was too proud and too disorientated to go to him and to ask him something. She had too many questions for him. She was too weak to play someone who is able to stand straight and speak freely. She had too many thoughts in her head. They overwhelmed her like a fire that meets litter. She burned inside, but it wasn't enough to give in and walk over to meet him.

Therefore, she tried to clear her mind and focus on going on along the street.

#52 TAKE AWAY THE WORDS

A few streets further down, she allowed herself to limp. It was much easier and didn't require so much strength. She was very tired and didn't know what to do. Only one thought keep going around in her mind: "You will manage it, you'll get home. You will manage it, and you will get home. You will manage it..." Focussing on this task and bringing all her attention to this one thought made her forget about the physical pain and limits for the moment. When she finally saw her street, she was relieved. Usually, she needed just a couple of minutes from this end of the street up to the door. Today it took her half an hour or even longer. She was slower than a snail. The easiest distance was to reach the staircase. Then it became harder. She had to manage six times ten steps. With every step she took, it became harder to climb on. She rested after every step she made and counted the seconds, passing by. One, two, three, she raised her leg onto the next stair. One, two, three, she changed the balance of her body and one, two, three: she pulled the other foot up.

Finally, she stood in front of her door. She opened it and crept into the apartment. She noticed cameras and she still didn't feel very comfortable with them. She entered the flat and didn't turn on the light. It was dark in the corridor. She already knew every millimetre of this apartment. Mia sat slowly down on the floor and she closed the door by a movement of her arm. She was breathing quite quickly and she tried to relax. Her heart was beating fast, too. She started to hold the air in her lungs. One, two, three, breathe in; one, two, three, breathe out. This, she repeated as long as she needed to calm down.

Now Mia was able to start to think and her thoughts were like dogs you held on line and then let them lose to go after a cat. They overwhelmed her. She was sure there was no place to rest as long as she needed. She started to visit Sebastian, because he never asked any questions. In addition, he was nice and she could enjoy a dinner with him. Sebastian understood her because he was an orphan, too. During the time she spent with him, her body and mind could rest. She could hold back her thoughts and step aside. Nevertheless, she didn't want to make use of this opportunity too often. She always made sure nobody followed her and would only drop in if she were sure about this. Otherwise, with the faintest doubt, she cancelled her plans and went back to her apartment.

She stood up step-by-step leaning herself on the wall. She went into the kitchen and looked into the fridge. There was always something to eat. Jonas cared about providing her food: not enough to be replete, but enough to survive. There was milk, some bread and some cheese. There were no fruits or vegetables. When she bought food with her own money secretly, she never took it with her into this apartment. If it was possible, she wouldn't take anything from "his" food.

She drank some warm milk and when she gathered enough strength, she went into the bathroom. It was the only room without cameras. She took her clothes off and watched her body carefully in the long mirror on the wall. Then she changed her clothes and sat down on the floor, covering herself in a blanket. She was too tired for thinking and she fell asleep in a very uncomfortable position, but she felt better here than in any other room of this apartment.

#52 LIVE AND LEARN

Julian had been observing her for days. After he lost her, he saw joy and happiness in Sebastian's thoughts because she dropped in. From this day on, he started to watch her. He mostly sat in his home with his eyes closed and followed Sebastian's thoughts. It was forbidden for him to start a relationship with a human being. It was an unwritten law that should protect him from suffering when he would lose her some years later, which would be so different for him and for her. All of her life would be just a short episode of his life. In addition, he would suffer an eternity without her. That's why he tried to avoid face-to-face meetings and stayed home.

It wasn't possible for him to become human as it wasn't possible for her to become one of his kind. She couldn't be who he was. It was impossible. Love should be a substance, not some sentimental, ephemeral emotion. It should have power to create, sustain and make everything possible. Even if "everything" should mean creating miracles, and even if any chance for success should not be real. She could die and he could not. This condition, this statement stood like a wall between them. Julian suffered already because of the thought that she might die someday, that she will go away when her time had come and leave him behind.

Indeed, it was impossible not to love her, and it was impossible to be happy with her forever. Was it possible to be happy with Mia as long as she lived? Love should be unconditional, break all borders, and free you. Julian felt like in a trap. He wasn't ready and she not allowed to share his secret with her, although he was already stuck with her forever. Would she agree to stay with him until she would die? Would she appreciate every day and everything the future would bring, including her growing old and his continuous youth at her side?

Julian hoped that a greater power than him and his family existed somewhere. When people could believe in angels, then he had the right to believe in angels, too. Maybe some power could make things achievable.

With these feelings, he was observing Mia through the memories and thoughts of Sebastian. There was quite an irregularity in Mia's visits calendar. In addition, Julian could see her better in his friend's mind. She wasn't so blunt anymore. He could see her hands, her hair, her face, her movements, and her mimic. It made his days brighter.

Mia seemed to feel better than the last time he saw her personally. During her first visit at Sebastian's, she was even in a good mood. She smiled sometimes and Julian wasn't surprised that he was so happy about it. Her every smile, even the smallest and the shyest one, was already a reward of a day.

During her second visit, she read a part of a French text she should translate aloud. It was wonderful how her voice spread through the room. Julian heard it as if he sat in the room next to Sebastian. These were Sebastian's thoughts, impressions and perception and therefore the view was definitely influenced by Sebastian's personal opinions and feelings.

Mia read without accent, fluently, vividly and it was possible to imagine what she was reading about. Julian felt almost like he would go back in time and see the prisoners of the Bastille in their cells. Each time he saw her coming into Sebastian's thoughts, Julian stopped whatever he was doing and sat down in his chair. Lingering in the room where she stayed over a night gave him a special feeling of being connected to her. It was strange for him to participate in Sebastian's feelings about Mia. It made Julian jealous. He would have preferred to be there, at her side, while listening to her voice, looking at her through his own eyes, seeing her eyes and her smile directly.

Julian enjoyed hearing her voice for such a long time. It was unusual for her to say more than two sentences. It was like a little miracle. She was passionate about what she was reading. Her cheeks got some colour and her eyes were sparkling. Sebastian was surprised as well and observed her very carefully. Julian had to admit that his best friend was passionate about her as well.

His years used to fly by like minutes and now he learned to appreciate every second and every real minute, all thanks to her. For her, Julian started to be grateful for living every moment. How is it possible to be changed by one person? He already met so many different people, saw so many different situations; he was a witness of time, crimes and joys. Still, nothing has changed him as much as this one special human being that he was scared to meet now. It was much harder to concentrate and control his power in her presence. His self-control was a key to living between people. He was so powerful that he could easily cause pain and destruction. He had to learn to control his skills. One false action, one wrong movement, and he could destroy everything that was precious to him and that he was supposed to protect. This was his second scary thought: he could hurt her so easily and therefore he needed to stay away from her. He had to protect her from himself, even if he should suffer. His pain wasn't essential. The most important thing for him was to keep her safe.

Julian twitched. He forgot himself and went back into the mind of Sebastian: Sebastian suggested eating something, because it was already 8 o'clock and Mia agreed. They went into the kitchen, she sat on a chair, and she almost didn't move. She was pleased to eat a meal with Sebastian. She opened up to him more every time they met. Sebastian noticed it very well, and Julian perceived it even more. Julian was able to jump the track and see everything as often as he wanted. That is what he did it, when he was alone. Every now and then, he came back to the memory of Sebastian when it was Sebastian's turn to talk during the evening. His stories were not so interesting for Julian, so instead he concentrated on Mia's face, which Sebastian was looking at every now and then. He could have done that more often, Julian thought. For him, Sebastian could continuously look at her and follow her eyes.

Julian saw the situation like you would watch a movie. Sometimes the movie was very messy and sometimes it was more like a slide show than a movie. When Sebastian focussed on Mia, Julian saw a picture of her, with all details, that were interesting for him. The he looked at her face, into her eyes and at the corner of her mouth that was ready to smile. Sebastian talked about other friends and explained how his day was. There was a story about his last lecture and questions, which a professor was asking. It was civil law and it was about your right to act as you want and which limits there were to your behaviour. It wasn't so interesting for Julian, but Mia was listening very carefully, even with interest. She always made an impression of taking information in like a sponge. She didn't just listen; she took it in with her whole body.

During her third visit, Mia read another part of text she left last time. Sebastian asked her to read on. It was about the downfall of Robespierre. It was quite an old work paper, as the language used, showed the old style of its author. The fighting city was described very carefully and the division of Robespierre was more metaphorical. She read it with passion and when she came to the paragraph when Robespierre should be punished, she took a short break to make this picture more impressive. When Sebastian thought it was over, he said:

-So, the French Revolution is definitely your passion.

Julian could just agree.

She was confused and looked at him as if she just woke up and didn't know where she was. She had to come back to reality, remembering that this wasn't Paris and the revolution was over for ages. Not until then she answered him:

-I like history and the French Revolution was quite important. Years of feudal oppression and fiscal mismanagement contributed to a French society that was ripe for revolt. And a revolt always lives its own life. I like to learn about people who fight for their ideas. Most of the times, it doesn't end luckily for them, but our ancestors' fight is always causing something great.

Julian tried to figure out what she could mean by that. It wasn't just a sentence. There was a hidden meaning, a hidden passion. Mia was a fighter as well. She was in at least one fight and she wasn't proud about it. Julian had seen the outcome of this fight and worried about it.

Then Julian saw another picture of her: she had fire in her eyes. She was passionate. She explained Sebastian what she was reading and he mumbled just "Hmmm" as an answer and concentrated on her emotion this time. She said something like "Downfall of Robespierre", then he didn't get what followed until he heard "Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite", because these words sounded very impressive as she pronounced them. This was her message; this was what she fought for: freedom, equality and brotherhood.

Sometimes it was so stupid for Julian that Sebastian was in love with her, because Sebastian didn't get everything from her moves, words and emotions. Sebastian couldn't make time pass slower and observe every detail of a situation and when he was overwhelmed by his own emotions, he had just some pictures in his mind and no "movies". It was quite frustrating for Julian who wanted to get every possible aspect of her.

Time passed by and it was Mia's sixth visit at Sebastian's. This time she looked differently. Sebastian was too emotional inside to notice it. She didn't look good. She looked bad, even though she wore good make-up and tried to smile. Her eyes were very tired. Her way of sitting, walking and moving revealed that she had a problem. She endeavoured to act normally. Sebastian didn't notice it. He wore his pink glasses, but Julian saw more details. He slowed down the time and looked more carefully at her face. Julian knew that she wasn't OK and he had to do something. He had already rescued her once, and now it was time to save her once again.

Every part of his body felt the fury for the stranger who did this to her. Julian remembered her cut wound. Each time he remembered Mia sitting on the bathtub and contemplating how to solve her problem, he felt an increasing rage. Because due to all his emotions for her it was hard to control himself. Until now, Julian liked different people, or he didn't like them. However, compared to what he felt for Mia, every previous feeling was just a shadow of an emotion. The temperature of his feelings for her was like boiling water, emotions towards other people were maybe lukewarm. Although he saw many people suffer, Julian didn't feel much compared to when he was looking at Mia.

It was like flogging a dead horse for Julian. He already noticed too many signs and he was afraid of her. He spontaneously decided to check it in person. He got out from his house and ran as fast as he could. The evening was quite warm. It was already end of April and everything was green. He didn't see it, because he was too fast. Of course, he could see every little detail, but there was no time to perceive it. He was concentrated on the road. He almost flew and caused a nice breeze. Even though he wasn't invisible now, people couldn't see him. He was really too fast for a human eye and that's why he forgot to change his form. He overtook cars on the way to Warsaw and manoeuvred between them. When he arrived into the city, he stopped for a while. He stood and looked into Sebastian's thoughts.

Sebastian was talking with her and she asked him to call her Mia. Then they exchanged some words about him and Julian was surprised to hear her saying:

-I have rather an impression that he's here all the time. I just can't lose this feeling.

Julian looked back in the fresh memory of Sebastian and his assumption was confirmed. She was talking about him. She felt his presence although Julian wasn't there. He was thinking about her and she should not perceive it so much. Sebastian didn't understand it. He looked at her and actually heard only the name of his best friend. He thought: "How come she is talking about Julian right now? Is there something more than they want to admit?" It didn't make sense to Sebastian and so he didn't react to it. Then Mia changed the subject so naturally that Sebastian thought: "Sebastian, you're so not a hero, you're such a loser! You won't be talked into it!"

Julian didn't wait long and started to run. It was quite hard to look on the road when there were so many cars and he was concentrated not to leave a sign of his presence here. It wouldn't do any harm to him, but it could to a car. He had caused accidents a couple of times already and then he had to stay in the field to look after people involved. It was very frustrating and irresponsible. That is why he cared so much about his every move.

Finally, he arrived at the end of Sebastian's street and noticed she was already leaving Sebastian's apartment. He made two big steps and he was now standing behind some parked cars in front of Sebastian's house.

In the same moment, Mia came out. She saw him standing there from the very first moment. She didn't seem to be very surprised. He noticed he wasn't invisible and was angry at himself. Now it was too late for any change.

She looked terribly. She was tired and she was limping a little although she managed to hide it quite well. She was deadbeat and her eyes were exhausted. His emotions were so divided like never before up to now. Julian knew he should not see her now and she should not see him. It was irresponsible of him and he should avoid every contact, which could bring him only pain and suffering for centuries. No, it wasn't the right motive. She was the reason. Julian should stay invisible at her side, if he decided to follow her. Mia should not be involved in his strange life.

It wasn't good for him to have her as his weakness. It wasn't good for her having him at her side. He was upset, disappointed and didn't know what to do. She noticed he wasn't coming towards her and she apparently wasn't sure what to do as well. Then she turned around. Mia simply turned around. He was shocked. He didn't expect her to make such a quick decision. She started to walk slowly down the street and tried to hide her weakness.

Where was she going to? Why was she still limping? Why was she not happy to see him?

He didn't change into the invisible form, because it would be too suspicious, if she would suddenly look back and he wouldn't be there.

Julian stood there as a tree planted years ago and tried to figure out what to do. He wanted to follow her, but there was a specific border inside of him. He wasn't allowed to. He and his family had agreed to some rules and these have not been broken for centuries. He would be the first to do it. This internal split into two hurt him much. Somehow, it was too much for him. Therefore, he just stood there observing her, while Mia was walking away. She became smaller and smaller and he was more and more torn inside. He was going crazy and it wasn't good. He wished the time would pass faster. He wished to be 50 years in the future from now on. The he would look back and see what happened. He felt like a prisoner of the time. As long as she existed, he knew he wouldn't find his peace of mind. She was fascinating, she was like fire when you are cold for days and you freeze, she was like water, when you are dusty after miles of walking through a desert, she was like the air you breathe. Although he never needed any of these, he knew, she was the one and for that reason, it was so hard to let her go.

Moreover, she didn't look back. That hurt him the most.

#53 MAN IN THE MIRROR

Mia tried not to think about Jonas, but he scared her more and more. She wasn't afraid that he could kill her. She was more afraid he would kill her grandmother one day. She already had some bloody memories and she didn't want to collect more. She had to obey his orders, but he didn't ask any favours of her. He only asked questions, which she wasn't willing to answer. It was easier to suffer than to give him what he was demanding.

As he came close to her, he pronounced every word very precisely. His questions were uttered carefully and slowly. He watched her for the whole time and she had a feeling, he not only looked into her eyes to find any signs of emotions but he also observed her entire personality and waited for any reaction he could use against her. Jonas wanted to look into her soul and mind, but he was apparently not able to do it. His gaze was always very concentrated and hurt her. It was quite strange. Mia heard a saying that looks could kill people, and now she felt his eyes on her as if they wanted to perforate her body. She felt heat rising inside her body when he looked at her in this way. She struggled breathing and she wasn't able to move. Then, he slapped her. From different parts of her body a message came: you have been hurt again, and again, and again.

Although it hurt her, inside and outside, Mia didn't give him anything. She was focussed as well. She was numb, emotionless. The more she stopped feeling in her heart the more she felt the strength of his slaps. He paid attention to where he beat her. He tried to avoid her face. He didn't want her wounds to be seen. Therefore, he preferred to target her kidneys. If you know how to slap kidneys, you will achieve some internal bleeding and the person will vomit blood after some time. It was very painful not only in the moment when you were hit, but also later on. Every movement of hers became a torture and if there is too much pain, the pain begins to rule your body. You can't control every single cell at the same moment. It was about hurting her so much that she finally had to answer his questions. In addition, it was a great feeling for Jonas to torture her, to make her suffer, to see how effectively he can hurt her and then to realize his plan. This was his strategy. However, it didn't work the way it should.

His professionals proposed to give her some drugs, but Jonas strictly refused. Mia should be conscious for the whole time and drugs would just reduce her value and her pain. She should give him some information, but it should proceed in a natural way and it should take away all that was left of her dignity. That was the greatest punishment for her.

With these thoughts in mind he looked out of the window as she tried to walk straight to the car to take a seat at the back of the BMW. Somehow, he felt some respect for her efforts. She was an enemy worth fighting. Moreover, it made this game even more interesting.

#54 I HAVE NOTHING

Julian waited for her day after day in front of Sebastian's house. She didn't appear. He had some things to do in the city just to keep his mask up for people he knew. He drove his Mustang 1968 from one end of the city to another. He went to "Sunshine" three times and checked whether everything was OK. Indeed, everything was OK. April was almost gone. Now everybody was looking forward to the long weekend in May. The first and third of May are national holidays in Poland and people always take the second off as well. Because of so much free time, there are always concerts, events and grill parties everywhere. It was called "Majowka" and it has become a national tradition to celebrate every single day of it.

In Warsaw, some great concerts with famous stars were planned. Julian should have thought long ago about a special theme for the party at his club, but he didn't care. He was obsessed to find Mia and to make a final decision. Moreover, he was mad at himself, because he let her go. This one time he could follow her and he screwed it!

His team asked what they should do and he wasn't concentrated enough to answer. In these last days, he wasn't the one to be bothered. He gave an impression as if he was living in another galaxy. He was distracted, irritated and easy to annoy. When he came into the club today, his team looked at him suspiciously. They almost immediately knew that Julian was still in the same bad condition as the days before and even weeks before.

This club looked classy. Every piece of furniture looked stylish and the paintings on the walls were great. It was a mix of Pablo Picasso and Joan Mirò and every guest of this club wanted to know who painted it. It was so cool! It was a kind of cubism mix, which reminded of a revolution and inspiration in European art. Here in Sunshine the art works were of a neoclassical style like Guernica, but their colours were not typical for cubism. Instead of using monochrome brownish and neutral colours, here you had vivid colours like yellow, red and blue influenced by Mirò. The name of the club was written here and there in Picasso style. This decoration made a great impression and it was no surprise that people wanted to come here. This club has been in since the opening day.

Whenever someone asked who was responsible for the interior decoration, Julian said that it was a no-name artist. He painted the club for two beers. In addition, people who worked here were as well special. Julian himself looked at every candidate to see who could fit into the team. Therefore, he collected quite interesting and inspiring people, even if they were working in different areas of the club. Even a dishwasher had to be approved by Julian. Consequently, they all became a big family and everybody here was friends. It made the atmosphere better and more comfortable. Moreover, Julian could leave them at their own and they could still manage everything.

Recently Julian was the weakest member in this community, he obviously didn't care much about this club, and so his stuff had to plan the upcoming "Majowka" event and organized a jazz concert. Up to now, Julian didn't realize that it was almost too late for preparing any event and it if he wanted to, it was too late now anyway. He really wasn't bothered.

As Maja, one of the waitresses, informed him about this planned concert, he just approved it with "OK" and went out of the club. He was mad. He was furious. He was disappointed and scared. If he could turn back the time, he would do it for every price. His biggest fear was that she was dead and he would never see her again. She didn't look good the last time he saw her and in a worst-case scenario, she could really have passed away.

Now he couldn't find her. Sebastian didn't know her address and to which school she went. Once as Sebastian wasn't home, Julian got to his apartment and searched for her CV or anything that could be at least a hint how to locate her. He didn't find anything. Mia's address written in her CV was a false address. Julian checked the entire street for her house and he didn't find anything.

He walked the streets of Warsaw in his invisible form and visited every single school. He didn't find anything that could bring him to her. This was a bad way to find her. Warsaw was a huge city with many possibilities. It was very complicated to locate a person whose mind he couldn't read. It was like going into a dark room without having a clue in which room you are. He needed some good luck, but up to now he didn't have any or he left the occasion passing by.

He stuck around the places where she has been already. From Sebastian's memories, Julian knew about the teahouse. It was almost in the Old City. He walked by the Warsaw Castle which was rebuild by the citizens of Warsaw after the war. He looked at the Column of Zygmunt which was a big memorial for a former king of Poland who moved the capital function from Cracovia to Warsaw in 17th century. He went along Krakowskie Przedmiescie and passed the Memorial of Adam Mickiewicz, a Polish figure that can be compared with English William Shakespeare or German Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and then he passed the Palace of the Polish President. Sebastian lived a couple of streets from here. Julian changed his course and turned into that direction. He came to Saski Garden where Sebastian and Mia were running a couple of times.

As Julian was walking, he passed many people. Warsaw was full of people and its centre was always overcrowded, most of them in a hurry. They were good-looking, but they didn't notice their surrounding. They were annoyed, they were stressed, and they were emotionless. He observed them sometimes. He just stopped, stood there in a crowd and looked at people who passed him by. He didn't like it. He even hated it. However, he had a whisper of hope that she will flow with this human river.

Julian went to the Saski Garden and sat down on a bench. He had almost lost his hopes. He had been looking for her for almost two weeks now. She didn't get in touch with Sebastian, she didn't try to contact Sebastian, which was suspicious. Sebastian was worried as well. His thoughts were with her, too. However, Sebastian didn't notice as much as Julian did and that's why Sebastian hadn't such a bad feeling about it. For Sebastian it was quite easy: she will contact him again as she always did. He had to be patient and wait. This was his recipe for keeping up his hope. Julian on the other hand, saw too much to stay calm.

He sat there, on a bench, and cradled his head in his hands. He just wanted to find her and then he intended to stay at her side. No matter what should happen and no matter, which punishment he would get. A life without her was impossible. She was the missing part of him that he had been waiting for, she had been so near, and he let her go. He stood up and started another round.

It was already late in the evening and it started getting colder a while ago. This day was quite warm for one of the last April days. People who were still on the street wore jackets and sweaters. The busy hours were already gone and it was more comfortable for him to walk along the streets.

When he was passing Bertolt Brecht Street on the other side of the river, he could smell her. It was very delicate and almost not noticeable. He stopped and looked around. Finally, he saw her: she was walking down the street.

No words could describe how relieved he was.

#55 LET ME SUFFER IN SILENCE

He followed her with a growing collision of joy, satisfaction and sorrow inside of him. This time she was very slow. Some streets further she finally looked back and he saw she was thinking about something. She stopped and looked around.

It was already a very late evening and there were almost no people out there. It started to rain. Apparently, she didn't notice it. Mia slowed down and started to limp more than before. She didn't hide her problem with walking anymore, and actually she decided that no one cares about her limping anyway.

Julian felt worse with every further step she took. He never thought he could feel like this. He watched how she suffered and how many stops she made. He walked next to her. He didn't look around; he focussed on her face. He wanted to give his life for her and analysed whether he should help her right now. It could cause too many problems. He didn't want to be seen by her as a monster. He had to wait for the right moment to come. Until then, he intended to follow her.

She stopped. There was a bench and she steadied herself on it for a longer while. She breathed heavily, narrowly. He heard her counting for herself. She went some more metres and stopped again. She was at the end of the street and she smiled a little. It was a normal living area in Warsaw. There were many similar buildings with four floors and if you didn't know the area, you could easily get lost. She started to walk again and he followed her. Julian was so close to her that if he were visible, she could easily lean on his shoulder.

One way or another, Mia managed to open the heavy door and paused once more. She looked at the stairs in front of her and she wasn't happy. She felt even very poorly. She was looking like a beaten animal. She counted to three and she made some slow moves towards the stairs. Then she rested and gathered her strength. After that, she counted again to three and moved a little further. He could see how much effort she had to put into reaching the third floor.

He was torn. On the one hand, he wanted to help her, but on the other hand, she didn't want his help. She didn't give any sign for him to let her help, she didn't ask, she didn't smile, she didn't come across the street. She just turned her back on him. In addition, he wasn't really allowed to contact her so much. This restriction was the least important. Julian was simply worried about getting a rejection. She could easily send him home and say that it wasn't his business. For the first time in his life, Julian experienced the feeling of probable refusal. He used to take everything for granted and it usually was OK. Now, he was scared. In this moment, he understood why Sebastian was always so sensitive towards Mia: Sebastian was scared of refusal, too. When you don't know a feeling, you don't understand it. In the moment, you feel a specific emotion for the first time; you already know how to interpret it. It is as if you had this feeling already in you, but in an inactivated form. When you get into a certain situation, you activate it and discover how it feels.

Julian felt as if he should not have come here. However, it was too late for it. He was too deep into it already. He had made his decision and now he had to wait for an occasion to show himself.

In the end, she was sitting down on the floor of her apartment. She even didn't turn the lights on. She was exhausted. Her breath became shorter and now she tried to relax. Mia was just sitting there and he sat down next to her. He observed her very carefully. In this light, it was more difficult, but she seemed to have enough strength to live. He saw it and was at least not worried about this anymore. However, he wasn't happy either. She was going through some strange stuff and if she wasn't sadomasochistic, then she had a great problem. He wanted to touch her and help her. Then, he wouldn't get an answer from her.

Probably she wouldn't say a word and like this, he was able to see what is going on. It was the very first time he was in her apartment and he was curious how she lived. He noticed some cameras installed in the corridor. It was strange. Was she being observed? Why? By whom?

Mia stood up after a while and struggled in doing so. She went into the kitchen very slowly. She didn't look into the other rooms, not even for a short moment, she went directly into the kitchen. She warmed her milk and drank the entire cup. She stayed there for a while and was very concentrated. She was thinking about the troubles that she was in. Otherwise, she wouldn't be so sad. She forced herself to go into the bathroom. Then she closed the door and for the first time she turned the light on. Here was no camera.

Mia looked around. She checked the whole room and only then, she tried to take her clothes off. He looked in another direction. He didn't want to be indiscreet. Then she stood in her underwear and watched herself in a mirror. He looked quickly at her and when he was sure she wasn't naked, he looked at her once again. She lost a lot of weight. She was so thin that he had the impression she would break if anyone would touch her. She had many bruises and the wound he stitched for her was opened, because the white medical bandage was bloody. She seemed not to care about it. Although she was in such a bad condition, he couldn't take his eyes of her.

She put on some other clothes, which were laying on the washing machine. She took a blanket from there, too, and she carefully sat down. She leaned on the bathtub and closed her eyes. He didn't want her to suffer any longer and he broke the rules he was supposed to follow. He touched her and she groaned quietly. Mia fell asleep.

As soon as Julian was sure that she was sleeping, he took his normal visible form and sent her energy. Once again, there was a small connection between them that was seen as a blue light. She smiled while she was sleeping and he changed back into invisibility. He sat down close to her and let her head fall down at his shoulder.

Julian was scared. He was really scared about her. For the first time in life he didn't know what to do. Sitting here with her, he realized he missed her even more than he assumed. As soon as he saw her for real and not only in the memories and thoughts of Sebastian, Julian felt much better. He felt that a heavy stone fell down from his heart. Now, he stroked her with his right hand and sensed her hair beneath his fingers. She was deeply asleep. She didn't feel it. Her lids were very thin and below her eyes were the dark signs of exhaustion. She was quite pale or even grey. She was so skinny, only skin and bones, unrecognisable compared to the girl he met some weeks ago. She had been a curious, ambitious, cheerful, intelligent girl with energy in her eyes. Now as she was sleeping, she seemed to be almost dead. He had already seen many dead people and knew she wasn't far away from being dead. He was afraid to touch her. He didn't want to hurt her. She could break apart so easily.

He was calmer now being close to her. He wasn't torn anymore. Julian knew that his place was by her side. It was so obvious for him in this moment. He wondered why he had doubted it at all. He wanted to be with her forever. It was such a simple answer to all his fears. She was his fate. She was the girl from his dream. She was the only one who he didn't want to lose and who he wanted to protect for every price. She was the sun in his solar system. She was the missing part of his life and even if he should spend the rest of his existence alone and in pain, he wanted to spend as much time with her now as it was possible. Moreover, he didn't want her to be hurt again.

At this point, he had to talk with her. She should not think he was her enemy. She should know, he was her friend and he was very, very protective about her. Now he had to decide how he should do this.

#56 THE GIRL WITH THE SUN IN HER HAIR

Mia was dreaming something. Her breathe was short and noisy. She didn't snore; she had difficulties to breathe freely. She was unsettled. She hardly moved, she hardly whispered a word. However, she was very disturbed. Her muscles were tensed like a bow right before an arrow starts to fly. She tried not to cough, but he felt she needed it. He took her very carefully and set her between his legs. He laid her head at his chest and covered her with the blanket. He kept her in his arm and stroked her arms to relax her. It worked. She was calmer. In this position, it was more comfortable and easier for her to inhale. She started to breathe regularly again. He caressed her the whole night. It helped.

Julian thought about what he should do now. Should he show himself or should he stay in the background? Both options seemed to be wrong. Julian wasn't sure how she would react and how much he should tell her about himself. First of all, he wanted to look at her in the daylight. Now he couldn't think about her wounds, because it would unsettle him and he wanted her to sleep well. He had to do what it takes to treat her injuries. Apparently, there wasn't only the cut that he already knew about. There were more injuries and bruises on her body. He tried not to remember the picture of her standing in front of the mirror.

He stroked her and at the same time, he tried to deactivate his mind. He attempted to see her smile in his memories. However, it was a difficult. He didn't know if he was right or wrong, but it was no reason to stop thinking. He was too ruffled and churning.

He lost his sense of time and because they were in the bathroom, he couldn't see how late it really was. She was waking up slowly and he leaned her at the bathtub the same way she had laid herself down yesterday. She coughed and took her hand in front of mouth. Her hand was bloody. He was shaken, but he tried to stay calm. He went away and left her apartment. He was so quick that nobody would notice it, even if he were visible.

He stayed at the staircase and waited until he heard her coughing. He couldn't wait longer, but he forced himself to stay at his place and not to touch anything. His hands were shaking. His legs were quivering. He was very nervous. He had to wait just for the moment she comes out from the bathroom and then he wanted to knock at her door.

Finally, Mia came out of the bathroom and Julian was prepared to knock. In this moment, her telephone rang. Julian took his hand away from the door and stood like paralysed.

It cost her much effort to come quite flowing to the telephone.

-Yes? – She whispered.

-So you're still alive. – said a voice on the other end. It was a male voice. It was a person between 35 and 55 years old.

Mia didn't comment on it.

-Take three weeks off, my dear, we will not see us soon again. I have to arrange some things and I am already looking forward to your participation in celebrating Children's Day. Be there as you always are. Moreover, try to look better next time. We don't want you to finish this game too early. – This voice was calm, calculated and very ironically. It was a voice of a cruel person. Even if Julian didn't know a lot about this situation, he knew from the beginning what kind of criminal the offender was.

-That's four weeks. – She corrected.

-It really doesn't matter, my dear, but you are right: four weeks. You get some holidays. Don't do anything stupid, I keep watching you.

Then the call was finished and Mia put down the phone.

Julian wondered how appropriate it would be to knock right now. It would be ridiculous. He sat down on the stairs and waited for some other idea. It wasn't the best thing to surprise her right now. She had some bad influence in her life and the last thing she needed was his knock-knock action right now. It should rather look like a coincidence. Nevertheless, going out in her condition wasn't a good idea. On the other hand, if Mia wouldn't leave home - and it would be cruel to force her to do it – there was no chance for him to meet her accidentally. If she was observed, it wouldn't be good to stand on the street and scream her name until she looks out of a window. Additionally, she should not get to know that he knew her real address.

In fact, the only chance to meet her, was when she left the her apartment. However, how do you lure a person out of her flat? She coughed badly and he had to do something.

#57 BLEEDING IN LOVE

Mia heard knocking at the door and was very surprised about it. She was even more surprised when she opened the door and nobody was standing there. She looked around and didn't see anyone. She looked down at the doormat and found a small piece of paper. She bent down with pain and misery. But she took it. She looked around once more and closed the door. Then she read the message: "Meet me today, my dear, before I leave. Zoological garden, main entrance, in two hours."

She had really hoped it would be so easy to be left in peace for some weeks. Apparently, she didn't get the promised holidays. Mia was disappointed. She had two hours. It wasn't far away. Normally, it would take five, maximal ten minutes to reach the main entrance of Warsaw Zoological garden. It was only around the corner. She had visited the ZOO a couple of times, because she could take long walks there. There was enough room to go walking and to watch animals and it was relaxing.

However, in her condition she had to plan in at least half an hour or even an hour to get there. She went back to the bathroom and washed herself. Her whole body was one big pain and the water didn't make it easier to bear. Her skin was itching and scratching. She needed some medicine. She wanted to buy it on her way back home.

Mia dressed herself and was angry, because she was so limited. She hadn't enough strength to think about anything, and tried to concentrate in what she was doing next. She was approaching the main entrance. It was forenoon and hardly anybody went into this direction. Mia was almost there, when suddenly a sweet, little boy, maybe ten years old, stood in front of her. He didn't want her to move on.

He was blond and felt very important. He looked at her and he seemed to be worried or dissatisfied. He closed his left eye because he was facing the sun and said:

-I have got something for you.

She was confused.

-For me? What you're talking about?

-A message.

Quickly, he handed her a piece of paper and wanted to leave. He was already going away, when Mia caught him on his arm and pulled him back. He was surprised. He usually was quick enough and she really got him!

-Who gave it to you? – She asked quickly, but emotionless.

The boy's eyes became bigger and he smiled coldly:

-I am not allowed to tell you. However, he knew, you would ask it.

She let him go and had to cough. She was very weak inside and everything she wanted was to go home and sleep and never ever stand up again. She was one with her pain. She envied Sleeping Beauty for the hundred years of quietness and peace. Mia looked at the piece of paper and read the message: "Got ya!".

It wasn't Jonas' style. He never said "ya". He tried to speak like an intelligent, well-educated person and used many "clever words". However, Mia could see that he wasn't as much educated as he pretended to be. He was smart, he was intelligent, but he never studied. He just tried to make a better impression.

"Got ya!" Mia read it again, and again, and again. She caught these words like a pill against the pain. She concentrated on the line, on two words, which should give her strength to go.

At the same time, she was disappointed. Was that all she had come for? And now what? Should she go home or stay here? "Do we play "punk'd" right now? Smooth criminal won't let me in peace." She turned around and started heading back home. An hour ago, she thought she was mad, but that was nothing compared to now. She was furious. She was unbelievably angry.

It was Friday and actually, she should be at school. She didn't care about it right now. The great long weekend was coming. On Monday and Wednesday were holidays and therefore, they got Tuesday as a free day as well. In addition, even if she would miss school at Thursday and next Friday, it wouldn't be bad. She could easily write an excuse and sign it like her grandmother would do. Actually, her grandmother would never write her any excuse, she never did it. Now it didn't matter. Whatever!

Mia needed some free time to pull herself together again and she was so relieved about these days off. Yesterday, she felt like losing the ground beneath her feet and now, she had a minimal hope to get back to reality.

She hadn't made six or ten steps when she saw Julian standing near his car. He was quite close and looked for something in his blue Mustang. He didn't seem to notice her. She tried not to catch his attention and looked in another direction. It was a strange feeling: when you don't want something to happen, exactly this is going to happen willy-nilly. When you wish for something, it hardly ever becomes true. Whatever happens, it turns out to be completely different than you wished for. She tried to avoid a meeting. She didn't look good, she knew it. Secondly, she didn't feel well, either. She didn't have enough energy to talk. All she wanted right now was to change places with the Sleeping Beauty. She wished for silence, quietness and wanted to be alone. She made two more steps when she heard his friendly voice:

-Hello Mia!

She shut her eyes shortly and took a deeper breath. She didn't look in his direction and made two more steps. What was he thinking now? Last time, he was almost behaving like her enemy and now, he was playing the greatest friend ever? She was too tired for such games. She didn't show it and overplayed it quite elegantly.

Slow it down, make it stop. Mia's heart was beating faster and faster. Just because she knew that he was there. Moreover, she was too exhausted to control her breath. She wasn't able to be a good actress right now. Well, when she wanted to escape and ignore him, she should be faster. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to. Her stomach was one source of pain. She couldn't locate any specific place of soreness. Everything was hurting. In addition, as she wanted to step forward, the world started to rotate. Mia stopped. Girl, focus, stay focussed!

She wasn't sure what was worse: to ignore him and fall down after some meters or to talk with him for a while, pull herself together and then to go home by hook or by crook.

-Mia, Mia! – Julian screamed twice and there was a kind of request in his voice.

She stopped and turned around slowly. She looked at him and waited for his next reaction. He apparently noticed that she wouldn't come to him and he was already coming towards her.

-Mia, what you are doing here? – Julian asked friendly and he looked gorgeous.

He was so beautiful with his wide smile, his perfect profile and with his sparkling deep blue eyes. He seemed to be very happy to see her.

She smiled back, but her joy wasn't as obvious as his. Now it was her turn to say something. She searched for excuses and couldn't find any.

-Just bunking off. – It seemed to be probable and reliable.

-Oh. Alone? – Apparently, Julian wanted to start over again and didn't intend to let her go without at least some obligatory small-talk.

-Yes. All alone. – Mia tried to stay emotionless, but her voice wasn't very assertive and confident as it usually was. She noticed that Julian realised it, but he didn't comment it.

Then, they stood there for a while without saying a word.

The wind was playing with her hair. Some flying curls shrouded her eyes. Mia breathed calmly, but louder than normally. She waited for his next question and looked for an excuse to leave him. Today, she wanted to run away from the world. Today, she wasn't prepared for any contact with the world. She was wounded too much to gather the strength to be a part of life, society, small talk.

Julian did something very spontaneously and surprisingly: he stroke her hair off her face and stroke her cheek. Mia was shocked. Up to now, nobody had ever touched her cheeks. Maybe her parents did, but it was too long ago and she didn't remember the feeling. She was so shocked, she just stood still like a rock. Only her eyes showed that she was alive.

This was too much for her. She didn't expect it. Mia hated it and loved it at the same time. There were too many things at once for her to deal with. He just caressed her cheek. She needed time, she needed space, and she needed more patience from the world.

Nevertheless, his touch was very delicate and sensible. Every move was a pleasure and she could let him stroke her face for the whole eternity if this would be possible. It was even better than leaning her head on his shoulder.

Her pain brought her back to reality, she squeaked shortly, but so quietly, he could hardly hear it. She made a face and came back to reality. He took his hand back and looked at her carefully. He was scared and she didn't know why. Then the worst happened: she coughed up blood. Even her sleeves at her mouth couldn't hide the truth. He noticed it and was extremely moved.

-Ok, thanks for asking, have a nice weekend, bye. – She said through the sweater and turned around. Mia started to go away but Julian didn't stay behind and followed her. It was easy enough. She wasn't fast.

Julian walked next to her and watched each of her movements.

-Mia, you can't just walk away. I will take you to a doctor. – He suggested.

She didn't look at him. She ignored him, although she was well aware of his presence.

-Mia, it doesn't look good. Please, let me help you.

She kept on walking. She was so angry and embarrassed about this situation that she found enough strength to walk quite normally. Her pain lost its battle against the feeling of humiliation.

-Mia, just stop. Stop! – Julian demanded and caught her hand.

The pressure of his hand made Mia stop and she was forced to turn around towards him. She almost fell into him. It was the second humiliation within such a short time. She was angry, and this time she didn't even feel the pain.

-Just let me go! – She snapped irritated and looked him into the eyes.

There, in his deep blue eyes, she found compassion and mercy, which annoyed her even more. The last thing she wanted was compassion. In addition, his compassion was not acceptable. All this gave her an extra dose of strength so she was able to run away from him. Even though she might not be able to move at all for a week, she was ready to face the consequences. She was too proud to admit how broken she was and how much help she needed. She had built walls and didn't intend to let anyone in.

Mia didn't know how she managed to set herself free from him. She ran and didn't look back.

#58 SHAPE OF MY HEART

She couldn't remember much. Mia woke up with fever and didn't need a thermometer to confirm this. Everything hurt. Something inside her head kept exploding repeatedly. It was this kind of suffering, which creeps up on you when you don't pay attention, and you have no chance to win this battle. She was lying on the floor in her bathroom. Without moving, she looked around. The door was partially open and evening light came into the apartment through the windows with open curtains. Everything was a blur. Mia tried to focus on her well-known furniture, but she couldn't manage it. She looked around again, slowly. Her head wasn't only exploding, every little move was painful. In addition, her stomach seemed to have a life of its own. Mia felt like one pulsating, burning wound and she hadn't enough strength to get up. It is often difficult to describe pain, because everyone reacts so differently to it.

She stared to the ceiling and tried to focus.

Then, she heard something. The door opened and something came into the bathroom. It was too quick to see and even if it were slow enough, Mia would have been able to identify it. It was big like a person. Mia tried to think who could wander through her apartment without saying a word. She lost her consciousness again.

After a moment, Mia woke up again. The shadow of her latest memory was gone. She felt worse than before. It was impossible to imagine that she could feel even more pain than before. Her head was pulsating rapidly and her lungs were heavy like iron. Her stomach was a territory of intense pain and she suffered more and more. She got used to gradually increasing soreness. After every visit to Jonas, she was suffering more. Compared to today's situation, previous visits were peanuts. Meanwhile her pain was chronic and started to be her new best friend in this life. This time, she was a prisoner of her suffering and couldn't move.

Again, Mia saw a shadow of someone and tried to convince herself that she was hallucinating. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe deeper. She needed some air. Here, the air was so dry and it was hard to breathe. The dry air got stuck in her throat and scratched her. It seemed to protest on its way down to her lung. Fever just gave her the rest.

Mia heard something, but it didn't bother her right now. Even if Jonas came here and smiled like a winner who took it all, she would stay here lying without moving. She was tired. She was so tired of being strong, assertive and hunted. She was tired of living, feeling and breathing.

Someone came towards her and bent down. Then, she felt that someone touched her head. This hand wasn't cold. This hand wasn't warm, either. It was gentle and somehow surreal.

Mia opened her eyes and saw deep blue eyes staring at her. Normally, she would throw Julian away. She would ask him to leave immediately and she would be even more embarrassed than she was this morning. However, this morning was so long ago, there was an ice age between then and now. In addition, she hadn't enough power to push him away.

#59 BREATH (2 AM)

-I will help you if you allow me to. Well, even if you don't, I don't care, I will help you anyway. You definitely need help. Please trust me.

Mia looked at him and tried to nod slowly.

-You don't have to talk. You don't have to move. I know it's hard for you. All you need to do is just to hold on to me. OK?

She nodded weakly. She was coughing blood without realising it and she was looking extremely bad. Her lips were red from blood, her open eyes were tired and she was as white as a wall. Mia was semi-conscious and she tried to focus on his voice. She was fragile like a snowflake on your tongue when you enjoy the first snow in winter.

-You have to hold on to me, just for a while.

Julian touched her carefully and she sighted with pain. He was desperate, because he didn't want to cause new pain, but it was necessary to bring her out of this apartment and to take care of her. Therefore, he put her arm over his shoulder.

-You promised to hold on to me. So please hold on tight. Please, just keep breathing. – He bagged.

She squeezed her fingers on his sweater and tried to keep it as strong as she could. He was appreciated her efforts. He took her and whispered to her:

-Mia, please close your eyes shut and don't let me go.

She didn't even look at him, her head didn't move.

-Please, don't be scared.

She coughed and showed no reaction.

Julian started walking, but he caused such a wave of air that she had to open her eyes and saw the world in a blur. She wasn't able to recognize anything. Everything was changing so fast that she couldn't even differentiate where she was and where they were going. She only felt his strong arms, which held her and his smell mixed up with the smell of her blood. She was surprised by this mixture and couldn't believe it was real. It couldn't be real. She was simply dreaming.

She held her breathe because of this amazing experience. It was incredible! The wind on her face, the mixed colours all around her and Julian's speed were incredible! It was better than driving a cabriolet. It was like a bungee jump into a deep valley. It was like a roller-coaster ride. It was like flying. She felt as if she was fading like a flower or as if she was a feather in the wind. It was astonishing. It was magnificent. It was a miracle.

Mia opened her mouth and allowed the wind to come into her lung. The air fulfilled her with incredible power and her mind was overwhelmed by this new experience. She didn't want to stop it. It could last forever.

She smiled. Her heart was beating like boom, boom, boom, in a rhythm of a jumpy, dynamic Black Eyed Peas or Kevin Rudolf song. It was her internal song. Boom, boom, boom, boom. It was her internal feeling. Boom, boom, boom, boom. It was her internal feeling of luck. Boom, boom, boom, boom. She felt free from pain, free from reality, free from sorrows and problems. Everything was spinning around in her head, but it was a great feeling. Boom, boom, boom, boom. It was brilliant!

Julian was running and hoping that she wouldn't open her eyes and understand what was happening. In the worst case, Julian would try to convince her she was hallucinating. Then he noticed her breathe of admiration, her beating heart and doubted about his plan. He couldn't explain why he did it, it was forbidden, but he couldn't leave her alone and see how she was suffering.

When he stopped, they were in front of his house. He wanted to take her there. It was easy for him to put her in a bed without taking a break here. However, he knew that she needed some fresh air and some pictures to relax. Moreover, he didn't want to scare her and it was part of his plan.

-Mia, open your eyes, we are already there.

She looked around and suddenly, everything looked almost sharp again. Her internal song wasn't over. Her heart was still beating fast. Boom, boom, boom, boom! Mia caught his shirt stronger and whispered something he didn't understand. He wasn't afraid that she was feeling worse, because her tone revealed her admiration. She was simply overwhelmed. His plan seemed not to work.

Some seconds later, he put her down on the bed where she had slept the last time she was here.

When Mia was laying in the bed, she looked at him and asked with amazement in her voice:

-How was it possible?

-What? – He pretended not to know what she was talking about. Of course, he was aware that she realised everything. At the same time, these impressions didn't heal her pain. They only overplayed it. Mia was simply distracted. She knew how to use it.

-This speed... your speed. It was so impossible!

-You should rest. And I have to take a full medical examination of you.

-OK. –She agreed with a big smile on her face. She was apparently still feeling the roller-coaster effect.

-Do you mind if I... – He said a little bit embarrassed and confused. At the same time, Julian was pointing at her clothes and she understood what he was thinking. She nodded, and the big smile didn't leave her face. Boom, boom, boom, boom!

He started to take her clothes off, slowly and carefully. She didn't show any sign of suffering. It surely wasn't pleasant for her, but she didn't really seem to notice it.

-You just have too much adrenaline in your blood and that's why you don't notice your health's damages. You're sick. – He explained while he was taking her pants off.

He described her what he was doing with his gently, attractive voice. She was still too impressed by his run and his speed to realise anything else. When Mia's heart started to slow down and her amazement slowly decreased, she felt she was indeed sick and tired.

When she was laying in her underwear, Julian stepped back and looked at her carefully. He saw all the damage done to her body, all the new wounds she got.

-You are staring at me, and you stopped talking. – Mia whispered.

He looked into her eyes and it wasn't possible to guess what he was thinking.

-How bad is it? – She asked slowly.

He didn't answer; he was still looking into her eyes. Mia had beautiful, green eyes, full of emotions and vivid astonishment. If he wouldn't know what she saw some minutes ago, he would say that she was high. He smiled because of this idea.

Mia was confused. Up to now, he always answered her questions and now he was just standing there and smiled. Then, his smile disappeared. Mia couldn't read anything in his deep blue eyes, which was quite disturbing. She laid there almost naked and didn't feel naked at all. He wasn't looking at her this way. He was observing her like a doctor looks at a patient. After a while, he scanned her once again and then he stepped forward. She expected him to something, but he just sat down on the bed and covered her with the red blanket. She was totally puzzled.

-Your wound is probably open and there are some new wounds. I have to treat them. You're already tired. You are very tired. – He spoke quietly and deadly monotonously. He repeated it a couple of times.

In fact, Mia felt exhausted. She shut her eyes and breathed slower. She missed the wind in her face. She fell into a deep valley of pain. She felt like a balloon, when it rapidly loses the air. After some minutes, she was weak and powerless again. Her only positive thought was that he was at her side. Usually, Mia didn't trust anyone, but he was someone special. He was strange, he was weird, and he was extraordinary. However, she trusted him any way.

Julian's voice was quiet and nice to listen to. He whispered to her and every word sounded pleasant. Moreover, it was reassuring and supportive. The red blanket was warm. It was so warm as if it had been warmed up before.

Mia's body was her prison again. It was like a stone. She couldn't move any parts of her body. She was just laying and listening to his voice. She couldn't understand his words anymore, but listened to the melody of his voice and was slowly falling asleep. Julian took her hand and held it for a longer while. It was nice. It was a good feeling. It was supportive.

When he was sure that she was asleep, he would have liked to take a deep breath, but he wasn't able to.

Mia wasn't only tired, but sick as well. Her whole body was a wound. Somebody hit her regularly as if she would be a boxer's bag. The slaps were apparently perfectly calculated and supposed to cause maximum damage.

Julian pulled away the blanket and put it aside. Mia laid there in her underwear and didn't move. Then Julian held his arms above her head and started to move them above her body: over her head, over her shoulder, over her right arm, then over her chest, her left arm, one more time over her chest. Her heart was beating slower than any other human's heart. He kept his hands above her chest for a while and tried to figure out what was happening there. She seemed to have healthy lungs. Her cough wasn't caused by any problems with her lungs. Then, Julian moved his hands over her stomach and rested them there for a long while. He saw her beaten kidneys; he noticed some wounds on her back. Then he moved her hands over her left leg and then over the right leg. He held his hands extensively above her biggest wound. Finally, he could picture the damages.

Slowly and very carefully, Julian touched her right leg. The bandage was already dark red, because the blood was already older. It was hard for him to take it off, because it was sticky. He took as much time as he needed to make it without waking her up.

The blood poured out as he opened the bandage. Her infected wound pitted and probably caused a high temperature. As well, sleeping on the floor in a draft was definitely not good for health. She could even get pneumonia. Her leg was swollen, and he left marks when pressing it a little. He disinfected the wound and took a closer look inside the wound. It didn't look as if the wound would heal.

Julian concentrated and watched Mia's face. She was still sleeping. He stretched his hands and then an unbelievable sapphire-like ray came out of them directly into her wound. His hands were very close to her, but you could easily see the wonderfully blue luminosity in the room. The streak was strong and powerful.

Mia opened her mouth in a sigh of relief. Her eyes remained closed, her heart beated normally. She breathed weakly, but regularly. He didn't stop to transfer his energy, and he stayed very focussed. It had to be a dose high enough to start the healing process, but if Mia would get too much of his energy at once, it could harm her. She was just a human and it was very complicated to find the optimal doses. That's why he was concentrating so hard in this sapphire-like ray and didn't notice much of what was around.

As he thought it was enough, he moved his hands over her chest and steered the streak into her heart and lungs. He counted up to ten and then he led his hands over her stomach. He counted once more up to ten; Julian had to control strictly his movements. When he finished, the ray disappeared quickly. Then, he covered her with the blanket again and sat down in a chair. Now, he was exhausted, too. He wasn't close to a collapse because of sharing his energy, but he was tired because concentration so hard. Any false move could have caused Mia's death. It was so hard to estimate how far he could go without hurting her. He could easily give her too much energy and she would break down like an ant crushed by an elephant or an eagle caught in a tornado. She would have had no chance to survive it. She wouldn't even have noticed the moment of death.

It is always hard to care about people you love. You want to help them, but you don't want to offend their pride. You never know how far you can go. Julian looked at her and she was doing a little bit better. At least her face wasn't so white anymore. He was relieved.

#60 TREMBLE FOR MY LOVE

As she woke up, he wasn't there anymore. She tried to move and could manage it. Mia felt much better and she didn't know why. It was just as if she had already rested for a week and in this time, her internal and external wounds would heal so far that she was able to live without being reminded of them with every move she made.

Mia sat down on the bed and looked around. He really wasn't there. She didn't feel him. It was strange to be in this weird and wonderful house again and to wake up alone here. Somehow, she expected to see his face after she had opened her eyes.

Mia pulled off the blanket and looked at her body. She couldn't believe that she was doing so well. She had to see her wounds to know that they were real. She remembered how painful the last days were and how she decided not to visit Sebastian, because she wasn't sure whether she would be able to overplay her condition. Until now, these visits to Sebastian helped her to gather some courage to put her damaged parts together. It was easier for her to deal with her body when she was between people, because her motivation to not catch any attention pushed her to her limits. When she was alone in her apartment, she suffered more.

Apparently, Julian changed a bandage and she was surprised that she didn't feel it. The bandage was whitey white and clean. Moreover, the wound wasn't as painful as it was before. Mia didn't dare to move her leg to check whether it was so or whether it was just her imagination. Maybe she had received the best medicine and she wasn't able to feel anything.

Indeed, she felt much better. It was hard to explain, but this house seemed to have good vibrations. Mia could sleep well here and she always felt more recovered here than anywhere else. It felt like home somehow. Her memories of home were not so real, they were quite old and fuzzy like her knowledge about dinosaurs, but she had a strong feeling how it should be. It was the feeling of being safe and happy. She always felt this way when she was here, in Julian's house.

She looked at her bruises, which made her look rather like a violet hill than a human. She saw some scratches in the area of her stomach and some already healed cuts on her arm. She remembered every slap of Jonas. The one on the shoulder when she thought, she would never again be able to move her arm. He hit her so hard that she literally flew across his room and landed on a wall. Because she had moved a little, he didn't hit her exactly where he wanted. Therefore, she got a slap to her shoulder and scratched herself at an already damaged cabinet with splinters of wood. Some of these splinters got under her clothes and stuck into her body. Mia hadn't noticed it back then. Only when she came back home and saw herself in the mirror, she saw the whole picture of the damages. Last time he arranged some mirrors in the room and as she got there, she couldn't locate him. Jonas was smiling frosty from every mirror she was looking at and she even didn't notice when she got the first strike. She fell into a mirror and broke it. The glass cut her skin, but at that time, it wasn't important.

Jonas played with her until all mirrors were broken and it seemed to last forever. Jonas had fun. He was laughing loud and didn't even ask his questions. He just appeared shortly in front of her and slapped her so hard that she flew into another mirror. He was quick, effective and straightforward. When he was finished, Mia was laying on the floor between millions of mirror's pieces and every piece was laughing at her with Jonas's cruel smile. This was her scariest experience up to now: these laughing pieces of mirrors.

As Julian came back into the room, he saw the fear in her face. He was surprised, because he didn't know what was going on. Was it his fault? Did he screw up something? Did she get too much energy? Was she in pain?

-Are you OK? – He asked insecure.

She looked at him, her fear disappeared slowly, and she even tried to hide her emotions with a smile. After a short while, she noticed that she was sitting in her underwear and she was confused how she should solve this situation. Mia stretched her arm after a blanket and before she even took it, Julian was already at her bed and covered her. Mia thought he could read her thoughts. She was almost sure about it. In addition, he was very fast. She remembered the run yesterday and the feeling of the wind in her face. She trembled.

-No, no, everything is fine.

Mia didn't look like it was the truth and he hugged her impulsively, but very carefully. She let him pull her closer. Julian didn't notice that his hug was a little bit too hard, even if he tried to be careful. However, Mia enjoyed it. She couldn't remember someone ever hugged her. She had no memories of cuddling. And his spontaneous behaviour was so sweet and somehow she needed it.

He stroked her hair back and said something she couldn't understand. It sounded like apologizing.

-Are you sure? Do you feel any pain? I brought you some medicine. You surely have fever.

Julian was speaking too fast, almost unnaturally fast. However, he wasn't out of breath. He was somehow calm, but at the same time quite chaotic.

-I am OK. – She said after a while and Julian stepped back, a little bit too quick.

She wondered about his speed. It reminded her at Jonas. Jonas was fast and furious. The speed of both of them was indeed amazing. Mia thought already that she was the crazy one, because such things were not possible. Superman and other heroes don't exist in the real world. There was no supernatural strength and there were no superheroes. However, Julian and Jonas were different. They were fast and they were simply different from any human she knew.

Jonas for example didn't need to wait for answers. He asked something and then he looked at a person. It looked like he would read thoughts. He didn't wait for any answer. He already knew it. On the other hand, it wasn't logic enough, because it didn't work in her case. Furthermore, when he couldn't read her thoughts, maybe it was just a trick to scare her. Mia was very confused. Maybe it was just her imagination playing with her, because of all this slaps and emotions lately. It wasn't easy to explain and it was odd. She couldn't let these thoughts go, they were absorbing her every time she had to think about Jonas or Julian. It was quite often. Especially now, when she had some days off.

Julian looked at her and saw her confusion. He observed her very carefully and wasn't able to follow her thoughts. She was changing her mimic, almost inconspicuously for a human being. He understood that she was confused, but didn't know why. He blamed himself that he had possibly done something wrong and her energy balance was out of order. This could have bad consequences. Besides, he was afraid she wouldn't tell him if she wasn't doing fine. She wasn't the type of girl who talked much. Moreover, she kept some secrets and it didn't look like she would entrust him anything, before she trusted him completely. She didn't object when he took her from her apartment and when he caressed her. In fact, it didn't have to mean much. However, it could be a step in the right direction.

Julian gave her some medicine and she took it without questions. She swallowed the pills down, drunk the water that he brought in a cup and laid herself down again.

-That's just something against pain, like aspirin, and some things against your...

-It's OK. \- She interrupted him. Julian looked cautiously at her and didn't say any further word.

-The doctor said you should rest. In addition, you should eat. You are too thin and you are like a feather.

-OK. – Mia nodded and closed her eyes.

-Do you want to rest now? – He asked quietly.

-I just think. The best way is to close my eyes and to concentrate at my thoughts.

-I won't disturb you.

Julian stood up and went quite fast to the door.

-Oh no, don't go away. – She said very quietly without moving. – Stay, if you want to.

Julian missed a beat. He turned around and he was going to sit down in the chair.

-No, please, this bed is so huge; and you can lay down here with me.

She didn't even open her eyes; she was just laying in the bed and breathing as deep as she could.

He was surprised about this proposal and couldn't believe what Mia said.

-Are you sure? – Julian wanted to insure himself.

-Yes, please.

Julian came closer and still looked at her with amazement, but she kept her eyes closed. He stepped forward cautiously and very slowly. He was still stunned, insecure and couldn't believe it. Julian followed her words and laid down next to her. He stared at the ceiling and tried not to move. This situation was quite suspicious. He didn't know why she proposed it and what she was planning.

They laid side by side for a while. Julian was a little bit strained. Her veins were as well intent, but she was breathing regularly, although she had to cough sometimes. It was strange. He turned his face into her direction and looked at her. They had never been so close before. She was laying next to him. He could see every detail of her face. He saw some little scratches at her temple and her barely visible freckles. Mia had a nice nose and it was quite interesting for him to see her breathing in and out through her nose.

She was calm and kept her eyes closed. She didn't move.

For the first time, he had problems to measure the time. This moment was at the same time very long and very short for him. Losing his feeling for time was strange. He wasn't able to guess how much human time passed since he laid down next to her. It was awesome. He enjoyed this situation. It was somehow like feeling free for the first time in his life.

Julian was happy. She turned his head and looked him into the eyes.

However, she wasn't smiling... She was serious.

-What are you?

He felt as if she would slap him in the face. He was taken from cloud number nine right back to reality.

-What? – Julian asked confused.

-What are you? – Mia repeated. Her face was seriousness. She was deeply sober.

He was more than confused. He had just two ways to get out of this: he could tell her the truth or he could lie. The first alternative was seductive, but it wasn't allowed to speak about it with humans. That was the rule. The second alternative was more realistic and he should choose it. So far nobody and asked him this question, because nobody was so near to him to realise it. He already broke some rules, which was no excuse. He should lie and that was his reflex. On the other hand, he had this instinct to trust her, to let her know him, he dreamt about her, she was someone special and if she knew he was lying, she wouldn't never ever trust him. It would be over before it even started. He was thinking and analysing his situation, trying guess how much she already knew.

-What do you have on your mind? I am Julian. I didn't introduce myself up to now, you're right. – He started mystified.

-You know exactly what I have on my mind. – Mia said and didn't stop to look into his eye.

-No, please, feel free and explain.

She was still carefully watching his reaction.
-You don't eat. You don't drink. You are faster than every car and you don't have a heartbeat. So, what are you? You are not human.

He wondered how she tricked him. That was the reason why she wanted him to lay next to her. She wanted to check something and she was successful. She was smart. She was intelligent. And he was a loser. Now it didn't make much sense to lie to her. Mia could keep something secret and he didn't want to lose her.

-Let us assume that you're right. Let us suppose that I am special. Does it change anything? So what? – Julian kept laying next to her and his eyes were serious as well.

-So what are you?

Julian took some time to decide. It wasn't an easy task.

-I can't talk with you about it. – He said finally.

-Why?

-We don't know each other.

-Oh, I am Mia and I already introduced myself.

Julian had to laugh. Her eyes stayed solemn, but a shadow of a smile showed in her mouth's corner. Then, they shook their hands. Julian stopped laughing and kept looking in her eyes. She really wanted to get answers.

-Will you tell me your secret?

-No, then you look at me in another light and I don't think I want to let it happen. – Julian's voice was clear.

-I already know some of your special gifts, and I am not scared. – She added quickly.

Mia was right. She noticed already things about him that nobody perceived up to now. Julian was still undecided.

-You should be scared. Where is your human instinct? You're not normal.

-You are not normal, either.

Her reactions were like cuts of a sword: clear, quick and successful. Julian wondered how she influenced him. It was a step-by-step strategy, and she was really good in realizing it. Furthermore, she was right. Mia wasn't normal. Julian wasn't normal. Two non-average beings met and wanted to get to know each other. Julian already knew many things about her, and she was at a disadvantage. He thought about everything over again and she waited patiently.

-It's an easy question, but the answer is not simple. – Julian started carefully. Now, he had to choose his words very cautiously. Moreover, it was better to answer her questions than to make a speech.

Mia waited for some connecting factors. In addition, Julian knew that she wouldn't stop and she was hard to please. He could read it in her eyes.

-I don't know how you describe me in your human language. There is no word for me. I am just Julian. – He joked.

Outside he looked still cool and relaxed, but inside he was sweating bullets. She wasn't satisfied with his answer and she waited for more. Julian wouldn't get out of this situation just with such answers.

-But how did you get it? With my heart? I am breathing.

-You are not breathing. You don't have any pulse. Normally a person has veins, which pulsate – She turned herself towards him and a little tensed, she touched him with her hand. – Here, this area should thump, at least a little bit. – Normally, you feel coldness or warmth from someone else. – She touched him with trembling fingers at his cheek and then she took her hand back. - You don't feel any of it.

-Ok, maybe I have just a very weak pulse? And what's wrong with my temperature?

-You couldn't define yourself whether I have fever. You needed to compare temperatures and you assumed it because of other symptoms. Moreover, you don't even have a weak pulse. I don't feel it at all.

Julian took her hand carefully and laid it at his chest.

-As you can see, I am breathing. – He said.

-No, it's not breathing. You are behaving as if you would breathe. You don't need air; you don't breathe it in through your nose or through your mouth. You are lazing here without breathing. You were too confused by my request and that betrayed you.

She was completely right. She got more than he was assuming.

-And what if you are hallucinating?

-I am not. – She opposed quickly and looked even more carefully at him.

It was the moment of truth.

-If I tell you the truth, will you be scared about it? I don't want to lose you and I don't want you to delete me from your memory. – Julian repeated.

-I could never forget you.

-Why not?

-You're trying to change the topic.

-I am just curious.

-I am curious, too.

She looked serious, but her eyes were full of sparkles. Her eyes were vivid like never before.

-OK. – She started. – Tit for tat. You get an answer from me for your answer. If we talk about nothing, nothing will change.

He nodded. She was so right.

-What are you? – Mia started with repeating her first question.

-I am something different than a human.- He answered looking her into eyes. – Why would you never forget me?

-Because you're special.

-Are you scared? – He had doubts.

-Should I be scared? Up to now, you have not done anything that could alert me. Should I expect something different now? Are you dangerous for me?

-It is indeed dangerous. I broke rules and you will have to take consequences of my actions.

-Which rules? Which consequences?

-It is a long story. You should rest now. I will prepare something to eat for you.

-No, please, explain me everything. – Mia requested, but he was already at the door and in another second, he was gone.

Julian got scared. He was unsure of what he was doing and he couldn't imagine that this was the reality. He left the house and started to run. He was running in the woods and avoided cities and villages. Sometimes Poland was quite small. There was no open landscape if Julian wanted to run without barriers. The taiga in Russia or plains in Asia or even woods in the United States were much better. There he could run without thinking about any villages or people crossing his path. He needed to turn off. He needed to shut his mind in a box and try not to think for a moment. It was too much for him: too much responsibility, too much light-headedness, too many emotions, too much pressure. He was running so fast that people, who crossed his path, thought there was a strong wind coming from nowhere.

However, he could die for her if it was necessary. If there would be someone who should be blamed, it should be Julian. He almost betrayed his "family". Mia hadn't anything to do with it. Nevertheless, she would get any information from him if she wanted to, because he promised her. Tit for tat. Question for question. Answer for answer. He wanted to get to know her better and the only way was to give her some answers about him.

Why was it always so complicated? He heard so many incredible stories from humans how they were prepared for anything to protect their families and beloved ones. So far, he never understood it completely. Now, he was in such a situation where he had all the responsibility. It wouldn't be easy to lose Mia. Just the thought of it was hurting him. There were some doubts about his behaviour, but he was convinced that this way was the right one. He couldn't explain much, he was just confiding on his emotions.

This situation was new for him. Up to now, he never felt such strong feelings. He felt a range of emotions when he was guiding different people through their lives, but these emotions from the past were nothing compared to the situation right now. There was a difference in the intensity like between day and night. Nobody was so important for him like Mia was. What he felt up to now was like looking at pictures from Africa on television. You see elephants, lions, zebras, gazelles, and you sigh with admiration for the wild nature. Then, you are between these wild animals, you smell them, you touch their fur, you feel how they prepare to run and how they move.

It was incredible. It was so overwhelming like a tsunami wave, which crushes a village at a coast. It was as wonderful as a bleeding heart, whimsical, almost fairy-like blossoms that are red, pink or white. He sometimes saw them in the landscapes ranged from California to British Columbia, originally from Siberia up to the south of Japan. These flowers are pendulous, formed much like hearts people draw on their Valentine's cards, and raceme bearing have many individual flowers, each one 1-2" long, with intensive red-pink outer petals and white inner petals. These flowers really look like hearts, which would bleed, and their beauty always impressed Julian.

At the same time, he was scared. He didn't know what she would think about it, what she would feel about it. He didn't want to scare her, but maybe she would think about him like a monster? He was stronger, faster and extremely different from any other person she knew. In addition, if he explained her who he was, she would wish she never met him at all.

Julian stopped. He was standing deep in the woods, full of oaks and pine trees. It was a beautiful day and the sun was shining through green leaves with different intensity and shades of green colour. It was very quiet. There were no animals around here. However, he felt the heart of this wood. He dropped down onto the green and cosy floor and laid there for a long while. This ground was gentle and kind to rest on.

He managed to turn himself off or rather to concentrate at the wonderful surrounding here. These green trees and blackberries and blueberries bushes around him with spider webs between them were gorgeous. This wood was very old and never walked in. It was a virgin territory and creatures, which lived here, didn't know humans at all. Julian felt it in the atmosphere. The air was clean and had such a mixture of nature and virginity in it you hardly meet in Poland.

Julian hadn't any clue where he was. Maybe on Masuria? He didn't see any lakes, but he didn't pay attention where he was running. He enjoyed the nature and if he could see himself at this moment, he would look like a wonderful sapphire surrounded by rays. He was in a sapphire ball between all that green plants.

#61 SAY IT RIGHT

Mia covered herself with the blanket and went down from the room she was sleeping in into the kitchen. She felt that her medicine was successfully protecting her from the pain. It had to be a dose for a hippopotamus, other way it wouldn't work. Mia knew she should not move around much, but she had to speak with him. He wasn't a human being. Somehow, she knew it already. She assumed it for a long time, although she was scared to think about Julian this way. It was more logical that she wasn't at her senses, but if he told her the truth, then she was right in her theory. So what was he? Somehow, she wasn't scared either. She was curious. If he would like to hurt her, he would have done it already a long time ago. He had been helping her up to now, even if she didn't make it easy for him.

She was home alone. She came into the kitchen and sat down at one of the chairs. This kitchen still gave the impression that it was rarely used. It was strange. For Mia, every kitchen was the main room in every apartment. She couldn't imagine it was different. She remembered how she was sitting in the kitchen with her mother and observed how her mother was cooking or baking. A kitchen has to be full of life, otherwise you don't feel like home – her mother said it, touched Mia's nose and left some trail of flour there. Mia laughed. Her mother laughed back. Even now, Mia could hear this laughter in her ears. It echoed shortly in her head, then in this kitchen and came out through an open window.

It was cold here. It was the last April evening and it was quite fresh. Mia would normally go and close this window, but now she was too tired. Walking to the kitchen was already straining. If you don't want to waste your energy, you should keep it for the moment you really need it. She appreciated it even more in the last few weeks.

Mia waited for him and Julian did apparently not intend to come back. She laid her head on the table and stretched her arms out in front of her. She was observing her hands. The internal side of them was a mosaic of lines. She had read in a book about the line of living, the line of heart and many other very important lines.

Then she felt something. It was a wave of air, but she turned around and there was nothing. Nothing changed. The kitchen looked the same: the cup of tea stayed at a cupboard and washed plates laid out at a dryer. Nevertheless, she trembled shortly. It wasn't cold, it wasn't warm, but it was a wave of air strong enough to move her hair.

Mia sat straight at the chair and looked around once more. Her movements became slower. She thought the draft might come from the open window, but the white curtains didn't move. It was suspicious.

-Julian? – Mia asked and thought she was the crazy one who wants to prove something herself, which doesn't make sense.

Of course, she didn't get an answer.

Mia looked around for the third time and then she saw him. Julian was standing at the other side of the kitchen table. She was so surprised that she startled. Her breath stayed just in her throat.

Julian was unnaturally calm and concentrated. He observed her a couple of minutes and it felt like an eternity for her. However, Mia didn't want to be the one who starts talking. She waited. She felt, he had to get together inside and then he would speak.

Indeed, it was so. Julian watched her intensively and his deep blue eyes changed the tone from very deep blue to the familiar one. It was fascinating to watch this spectacle.

Finally, he opened his mouth, but she couldn't hear the whisper. He noticed her reaction and said louder:

-It is not easy for me, and everything I will say can shock you. It is beyond anything you are familiar with. In addition, once you get to know my secret, there will be no return. You can't jump the track and you won't find the rewind button. That's why I have to ask you whether you do want to know my secret.

Mia wanted to answer just in this moment, but he shook his head and she knew she should stay quiet. Julian kept on talking in his very kind and pleasant tone.

-If you decide to say "yes", what I am not hoping, you have to be prepared for great troubles. It's indeed very serious. Such a betrayal of my secret is penalized with the greatest punishments of all: you will have to die in the worst case. That's why I don't expect your answer now. You have to think about it. It is up to you. I am scared not because I can die, but because I am afraid for your life.

Julian looked sadly at her and her heart slowed down notably.

-It isn't about my life now, it's not important. It is all my fault; I should not let this happen. So please, follow my advice and choose the option I recommended.

Mia knew already which answer she had for him, but she knew as well that it wasn't the proper time to say it. She had to wait for a while and then come back to this topic. The only thing she could ask him now was this one specific question:

-And what will happen with you, when I follow your recommended option?

Julian looked even more sad, but somehow relieved.

-You will never see me again.

-So briefly summarized: if I won't discover your secret, you will disappear from my life and I will live furthermore as if I had never met you at all, and if you tell me your secret I will die? Correct?

Julian didn't move. He was still observing each of her reactions and the way she was speaking. She wasn't unsettled. She was indeed still.

-Yes. – He said, and then he added quite fast:

-No. I cannot say whether you will die. It is not up to me. It won't be my decision, but I have to count with the worst. There were no exceptions until now, because this situation is unique.

-In the worst-case scenario we will both have to die?

-Yes. – He confirmed and let his head fall down.

Julian was looking at the floor while she slowly stood up from her chair and went towards him step by step. He didn't move although he heard her coming. Mia came to him and wanted to hug him. Her hands started to twine around his body. He was tense and felt like a rock. His skin wasn't gentle anymore. Mia's surprise was written on her face. In this moment, he just stepped aside. His movement was so fast that she hugged the air and was astonished by this fact. She looked shocked at him, standing two steps further away from her.

-I am sorry, I can't. You should rest. When you're getting better, I'll take you home and I won't ever bother you again. – He said painfully.

She frowned and opened her mouth to say something. Julian was quicker again, he laid his hand on her lips, and at the same time, he shook his head. She should not speak now.

His skin was very tender and his move was fluently like of a crouching tiger.

They stayed in this position for a while until he was sure, she wouldn't say a word. She looked at him as if she would guess what he was thinking about. He was too confused and too torn to let her come up with some arguments against this solution.

-Would you like to eat? You haven't eaten since yesterday... - He said then with his normal, pleasant tone.

She nodded. In fact, she got hungry, when she heard it. Her body demanded some food. He took some things out of the fridge and laid them at the kitchen's table. Then he left the room again.

#62 BEYOND THE SEA

Mia went upstairs alone. He didn't show up later. She was sure, he was somewhere around. He needed his time to calm down. In the bathroom, she saw a new toothbrush and she opened the box. While she was cleaning her teeth, she sat down at the closet and thought. She was quite concentrated.

Julian observed and followed her for the whole time like a dog follows its beloved owner. When she finished, she went slowly to the bedroom and laid carefully down on the bed. She covered herself with the blanket again and stared at the ceiling. As usual, she was lying on the left side of this bed and next to her was enough space for him. She left it with intention and hoped he'll show up. But Mia didn't see his careful, slow moves in the room and thought he wasn't there. She waited and waited, minutes passed by and there was no change. Outside it was already dark and there was no burning candle. She was lying straight in this huge bed and gazed at the chair where he was mostly sitting. Finally, she was too tired to stay awake and fell asleep. Julian was relieved. He waited until she was sleeping very deeply and he repeated his action from the night before. The bedroom was filled with sapphire-like light. This time, he concentrated even more. He had to bring her back into shape and he should not exaggerate.

When she woke up again, it was still dark outside. Nevertheless, she felt like she slept for hours. Mia didn't see Julian in the room, and stared at the chair. She wished he would be here and that they would talk. She tried to visualize his body sitting in the chair and it was quite difficult. Of course, she could remember how he looked, but his eyes the most intense part of his body. They were magnificent. They were like a deep, wide sea to sail on.

Then she fell asleep again.

She dreamt she was on a yacht. She was alone and the boat was quite small. It was like the Optimist yachts, which have been used already by seamen for lonely travels. She looked around and nowhere was a land to see. Everywhere was deep blue water. The colour of the water was exactly like the colour of Julian's eyes.

The sea was peaceful at the beginning, but the waves became higher and higher and turned into a tsunami, which could crush you down for a lifetime. Nevertheless, this major wave didn't let her ship fall down into the bottomless channels - deep like the Mid-Atlantic Ridge of the sea of Atlas. No, her boat was taken by this sea wave up to the highest point of this wave and it was like surfing. She saw the deepness below her boat; she was almost in heaven sailing amongst the clouds. She felt the sun shining on her face and she felt wind stroking her shoulders. She knew that she was safe. She felt endlessly happy and smiling. Then she felt a cold breeze and woke up. This airwave wasn't just her imagination; it had caused real goose pimples. She looked around with half opened eyes and didn't see anything that would have changed. It was still dark outside. However, in her heart it was spring. She felt so full of energy and powerful like she didn't feel for weeks.

#63 ALL THE SMALL THINGS

Early in the morning, she saw him standing at the door and watching her carefully. Julian didn't say a word. He was just standing there and observed her cautiously. Mia smiled at him, but he didn't smile back. He was like a monument. In the morning light, he was really looking like one of the Rodin's sculptures. He was caught in a moment like at photography.

-Julian. – Mia whispered. – Please, come closer.

He stayed like a rock.

\- Julian, please. Come and lay down next to me. – She whispered still.

He still didn't move.

-Julian, I asked you two times, there would be no third time. It is not a trick.

There was no reaction of him.

-I know that we are both some strange beings and everything but average. I know you have your doubts and confusions. I wasn't thinking clearly for my whole life. I always doubted and stepped aside, but now, for the first time in my life, I know what to do.

Mia spoke with a kind of joy in her voice. She was still assertive and withdrawn, but she showed some kind of a new openness towards him. Julian moved his head a little and his eyebrows were raised because of such a surprisingly change.

She looked at him in a way he never saw before. She had always been very self-confident, but in a way, that made you keep your distance to her. She was like the supreme art piece that you couldn't touch. Otherwise, it would be damaged. Now she was like an open trunk full of surprises. He wanted to get to know her better; it was his greatest wish. Cautiously he stepped closer and closer to the bed until she could easily touch him. He was just two steps away from this bed and three steps away from her.

On his face, many doubts showed. Mia looked at him friendly and smiled:

-I don't want you to talk, I don't want you to explain anything, just be next to me, please.

Every movement of Julian was slow and thoughtful. He came closer to the bed, and to her it seemed like watching a movie in slow motion. His face kept changing its expressions. He was unsure of what he was doing. He was full of doubts, but he came closer and closer. He laid down very carefully and for the whole time he looked her into the eyes. Julian was observing her so intensively that she almost couldn't breathe. It was strange for Mia to feel like he would take her energy out of her and accumulate it into his body.

Julian watched her very suspiciously. He was now lying next to her and didn't move. Julian was like a monument. His skin was whitish and tense. His eyes were calm, and focussed on her eyes. Mia didn't dare to move. He wasn't moving either. He wasn't breathing, he wasn't slugging down, and he wasn't closing and opening his eyes. He was looking almost as a dead person. Just his eyes betrayed him. There was something in his eyes, which was very vivid. You say that the eyes are a window to your soul. His eyes were a door to another world. There was so much life and it seemed to be almost impossible to believe it.

Mia felt Julian's staring look. She was able to take it for a while. It was absorbing for her to see him next to her. It was fascinating to notice these all-small things, which made him so non-human. She thought about alternatives, she tried to find a solution for a question that wrapped her up so much: what was he? He didn't need air to breathe, he didn't need food to live, he was very fast and possibly, he had some other tricks up his sleeve.

After a longer while, Julian asked:

-I know what's bothering you and I decided not to involve you in this story. I will take care of you until you're better and then I will leave your life.

-And then I will never see you again. – Mia completed his sentence, because he wasn't able to speak up to the end. His voice was calm, rather emotionless. Mia's voice was as well rather keeping technical than expressive.

She moved a little bit, because it was impossible to keep the same position for so long. She turned her head and looked at the ceiling. She didn't want him to look her in the eyes right now. She was very mixed up and for the first time, she fought against tears that almost showed in her eyes. Do you know the feeling when you would like to start crying and you don't permit yourself to do it? Sometimes it works and it did this time, too: Mia bit her lips and focussed on a point at the ceiling.

It was impossible for her to understand why he was so important to her. Up to now, she had been living a boring life with many sacrifices. Her passion and only hobby, which she allowed her to have was reading. She had almost no contacts with other people. She avoided every relation with individuals she has got to know. She kept moving house every year and met many people on her way. The changes, which she experienced lately, were impossible to follow for people who knew her. In addition, among all this Julian almost made her cry.

She didn't know him at all. He wasn't even a human and her rational side advised her to run away from him. Her heart advised the complete opposite. Now she should be left for the second time. Moreover, this time it wouldn't be unexpected like it was the last time. She was deeply sad. Julian observed her still and wasn't able to follow her thoughts. It was strange and fascinating. At the same time he knew he was hurting her and himself. His voice within protested as much as it was possible, but the rational part of him accepted it. At least this way he could protect her and it wouldn't be against any rules. He could follow her invisibly and she wouldn't notice him. He would be with her for years, and this would have to be enough – even if it wouldn't be easy, rather the opposite: it would be harder than he could even imagine. He bit his lip.

-You have to sleep. You have to rest. You will stay here until you will be better. – He said with a hidden nervosity in his voice.

She didn't look at him, and closed her eyes. Mia tried to breathe easy, but there was something in her throat, which didn't allow her to do it. Her head was heavy and hot; her eyes burnt and in her throat was a ball that she couldn't swallow. She didn't feel well, but she tried not to show it. She was hungry and sick. Her whole life she was healthy and didn't get even a cold, and now she was sick and tired. Maybe it was, because she felt so alone although he was so close. Maybe it was, because he was next to her.

Mia swallowed something and she felt it was blood. It was disgusting. She hated the smell of blood, but its taste was much more sickening. Her body was causing her pain at this time. She wondered why she didn't feel it earlier. Maybe this medicine was so strong that she didn't feel anything. In addition, at this time she remembered her father talking to his patients: "you should not exaggerate with this medicine, if you feel pain, it is a sign of what's going on with your body".

Mia felt embarrassed. She kept her eyes so strongly closed that it hurt. She clenched her fist under the blanket and hoped Julian wouldn't notice anything. She didn't dare to move, just because she didn't want to raise his attention. She felt his look at her face and thought he can well go on watching her. If he wanted to leave her alone, he should not get anything of her inner problems, doubts and fears. It was friendly enough of him to let her stay here, without cameras and with clean air where she could gather her strengths again. Mia didn't need any compassion or mercy. She had lived alone for so many years and she was convinced she would still be able to manage it still on her own.

#64 ALL THE GOOD THINGS (COME TO AN END)

This day was long, for them both. They didn't talk to each other and they didn't look at each other. Mia was lying in bed all day and he brought her meals, one after this conversation, and another at 12 o'clock, then two more meals, which he had prepared for her. They still didn't exchange a word. Mia tried not to look at Julian and he tried not to look at her. It was very hard and strange.

Mia tried not to think about the days when she will be left alone. She was completely confused. She tried to think of things she used to think about when she was alone. It was hard, because every movement of Julian was contracting her attention and she felt the need to look at him. He didn't give her many occasions to torture her in this invisible way.

She wondered what he meant by saying she should stay here until she'd be better. How long was this? Who would decide about it? Mia was already feeling better right now. She wanted to leave now, as long as she was strong enough to say it to him. She didn't want to be put away by him like a toy, which wasn't fun anymore. She was afraid that the longer she stayed here the harder it was going to be to leave this house and to leave him.

She tried not to look at him when he brought the meals. This was her personal torture. Her heart started to beat faster and furious and her eyes were automatically drawn to his face when she heard him coming and when he appeared at the door. She didn't want to take her eyes off him, but her mind kept telling her to behave with dignity and she forced herself to look in another direction.

This was the hardest part of it: to behave as if she wouldn't care about him. "Whatever!" her mind screamed all the time, paralysing her. However, he kept quiet anyway. He didn't look at her, either. Apparently, it was time to leave.

Then Mia thought: "Will he let me stay until tomorrow? Will he take me home tomorrow? Just tell him right now that you want to go home!" and then her heart was hoping and whispering: "Don't say it now, wait. You have to rest. He said, you should rest and he cares about you. He will not take you home now, because it is already afternoon and it is unlikely that he would leave you alone for a night. Sleep and rest, don't bother. Everything will be OK."

Then her mind housed her hope of heart and commanded: "Hush! Hush up! You should do something before he does. It is easier to leave someone behind than to be left. He will leave you and you should not follow any wrong hopes taking you in the wrong direction. Focus, girl, focus!"

She wasn't able to eat everything up, because she was too confused. Furthermore, she felt so bad about this situation. She was able to take things off her mind successfully up to now, but this time it was impossible. She remembered every movement of his and every single word. She heard all his sentences in her head again and watched her memories of him again and again. Besides, she was tired and so bubbled all the time that she couldn't focus on anything else.

It didn't seem strange to her that he wasn't human, but she was puzzled that he turned her down. She wasn't afraid of what he was; it didn't matter – strangely enough. She opened up to him and she didn't expect he would tell her everything. She didn't expect he would push her off, either. She had never thought about the future before, and she had never cared about it. She was going to school and she was supposed to study, to work and to die just as if she was living right now: alone and scared. On a trip to nowhere.

For a moment now she had thought, it could be different. She had felt like her life would make sense and there was suddenly a meaning. Now everything has fallen apart again. Her soul was apart. The dainty hope was broken like a mirror and its parts hurt her internally. Her heart was bleeding in love.

And Julian wasn't saying a word.

#65 WALLPAPER

These two days were cruel. These days were the worse days up to now for him. She didn't say a word. She was so dispassionate and emotionless. She didn't even look at him. She flickered like a candle light when he came to the room and after a short, minimal look, she looked away. It was horrible.

Julian thought it would be much easier to deal with this situation. After he left her meals, mostly sandwiches, that he had prepared for the first time ever, he went to the door and when she thought he left the room, he disappeared, became invisible, and stayed in the room with her. Julian was standing at the door, he didn't move, he was just standing there and observing her.

Mia hardly moved and apparently, she was worried and confused. Was she thinking about what he was? Was she scared of him? He admitted to be something else than a human being, and now she was surely fighting with her thoughts whether he was dangerous for her or not. If it was him, he would probably leave this house or at least ask to take him home. She was still calm and it was impossible for him to read her mind.

It was incredibly hard for him to watch her. Julian didn't know what to do. There was a wall between them and it was impossible to break it, if one of them wouldn't make a step forward. Even by making a step forward, he wasn't sure whether it would be enough to break this wall. It was impossible to tell her the truth, because he wanted to protect her. On the other hand, it was strange to watch her in these circumstances. When he thought about living like this as long as she was alive, then he wasn't sure which solution was worse.

One thing he was sure about: it was harder than he thought. In addition, she was too important for him to let her alone just like that. It was inhuman.

At night, he was still standing next to her bed watching her sleeping. She was unsettled. Compared to the previous nights she was quite restless and moved herself every now and then. It was strange to see her like this, so broken. This time it wasn't about her physical wounds. This time it was about her internal break down. She moved her head to the left, then back to the right, and whispered some inaudible words. He couldn't understand what she wanted to say. Her lips were moving, but there wasn't sound, no words. She breathed heavily. Sometimes she even stopped breathing and when he was sure she was sleeping deeply enough, he gave her some energy by using his sapphire-like ray. It relaxed her for a while.

It was nice to see her change. Stress-free and peaceful.

The next night she was even more mixed up and she didn't sleep well. Julian couldn't "charge" her as he called his energy transmissions. He was at her bed and watched her carefully when she moved from one end of the bed to the other and he didn't know how to help her or how to calm her down. He was just looking at her and hoped she would sleep deep enough to be able to help her. Unfortunately, this night it was impossible.

#66 THE FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST

Mia wasn't afraid of dying. She had thought about it sometimes, mostly when she was on her way home after the meetings with Jonas. She knew he would kill her one day. He had a strict target and he acted according to a consequent strategy.

Julian looked at her and was worried. Mia was so quiet. She barely moved and laid with her closed eyes. She was awake. Her face didn't show any emotion. She was like a rock. However, something was wrong. She was gulping rarely and it wasn't normal for a human being.

-Are you OK?- Julian asked.

-Hmm.. – She mumbled, but she didn't say a word.

-Really? You don't look that way and you're not convincing me right now either.

-It's all right. – She said quietly with her last breath and started to cough without any break.

After a minute, Mia was already coughing up blood. Her face became whiter than a wall and she moved to the side, keeping her head down looking at the floor. Julian jumped like he would have just got an electric shock and in less than a second, he was already by her side, kneeling in front of her.

Mia was trying to breathe, but it was very hard with blood coming out of her mouth. She had to swallow icky and disgusting blood taste. Julian couldn't help her right now, because otherwise he would give up his skills once again. He saw her suffering, opened the window and brought a cup of water.

Mia didn't notice that he left the room for a moment. She was coughing as if she would be close to dying. He had to wait until she was sleeping again to help healing this internal wound. Her face was sweaty and red. She was so exhausted that she looked much older after a couple of minutes. Tears were running from her eyes over her cheeks and nose. She drunk some water, but she spit it out again after a moment. Something stuck in her throat and dried it out. It was impossible to breathe. The following wave of heat surprised her. A terrifying pain in her head gave her the rest and she collapsed.

-Bloody hell! – Julian screamed angrily then he was calm again. - Oh, please, don't cry. I make your pain less significant. Please, don't cry.

He couldn't look at her right now. Her pain was his pain. Taking her to a doctor wouldn't help as fast as his skills would.

-I am screwed. – He whispered angrily and with her right hand he pushed her down onto the bed. She was forced not to move. She wanted to get up, she tried to move, but he was clamping her too strong. His hand was like iron: hard and solid. Even if she had been completely healthy, it would have been impossible for her to free herself.

She looked at him angrily and tried to swallow but at the same time, she was still coughing. Then Julian spread his left hand over her lungs and a sapphire-like ray of light came out of it. It went directly into her body and she stopped moving. She was able to swallowed the rest of the mixture of blood and spit sitting in her throat and then she was able to breathe freely again.

Julian was focussed at the ray of light and moved his hand towards her stomach. Then he pulled his hand back. The light disappeared. She stayed calm and didn't move. She observed him with a perplexed look in her face that he had never seen before in his life. She was really in a muddle. She was shocked.

-Don't move. – He said and she wagged her head.

He put his hands together and the light spread out from the left hand again, this time even stronger. Now she couldn't see his hands, they were both sapphire-like and shiny. All this light went into her body, it was more powerful than before and she felt a comfortable warmth spreading through her body. The new energy spread through her body and eased the pain. Mia felt like her body became stronger. It was so awesome and impossible to describe. She could feel how her body was healing and the blood, she was coughing up a minute ago disappeared. As if he had taken it out of her and thrown it away. This sapphire ray was fascinating. It was the most wonderful colour she had ever seen in her life. Her eyes were bigger and showed her admiration. She was breathing easily; it was even easier than when she was feeling great and healthy. It was impossibly brilliant!

Then the ray of light disappeared and the room was again an ordinary room with daylight coming in through a normal window. She felt a fresh breeze of air coming through the window.

Mia didn't move. She was like a rock: tough, mysterious and motionless. Julian looked into her eyes and saw her admiration. He turned away and wanted to leave, but she said quietly:

-Please, stay. I won't ask anything.

He turned to her and came quite fast to the bed. He laid down next to her. He closed his eyes and didn't move. Now he was a marble monument.

Mia took a handkerchief, which she found in the bedside cabinet. She was surprised because she couldn't remember it there. But somehow, she was now ready to believe in anything she saw. She felt well, even without medicine, she didn't feel any pain now and she could breathe easily. She stood up, left the room and went to the bathroom. She cleaned herself from the blood from and looked into mirror. She was looking bad. Her eyes were languid and her face was dull. At the same time, her heart was beating stronger. She felt energy inside and she knew everything will be all right.

She couldn't believe what she had just experienced. Julian was no human being and she knew some of his secrets. This magical sapphire light! It was so fairytale-like and Mia felt like in a dream. It was like walking over a rainbow or jumping so high that you could reach the stars or finding a treasure on the moon. She would surely wake up in a couple of minutes and she will be too shy to ask him whether this was real or not. Moreover, she said she won't ask him anything, so it was how it was. A promise is a promise. Even a dreamy promise...

The water refreshed her and the blood was already cleaned away. There was no trace of anything, which could remind what happened a couple of minutes ago. She even didn't take a towel to make her face dry. She wanted be sure to feel the reality.

Her steps were so insignificant that she felt like flying. She didn't feel any of her wounds anymore. She was still aware of them, but she didn't feel them. All the slaps were just creatures of her memory.

She went straight back into the room where Julian was lying on the bed. His eyes were still closed. Mia didn't wait at the door, she went right to the bed and laid down next to him. She turned towards him, put her face down on his chest and hugged him with her skinny arms.

Julian didn't move and she didn't care.

-Don't think about it. Relax. I won't push you. I won't ask anything, either. I promised.

Her words were exactly what his soul needed right now. In addition, she was right. He already decided not to tell her the truth, but at the same time, he didn't intend to leave her alone. He had to watch her from far away. He wasn't able to leave her and to ignore her in public. It wouldn't only make her suffer immensely, he would be suffering as well.

Mia repeated her sentences over and over. She felt he was more relaxed then, although he didn't move at all the time. She stroked him a little and he was glad about it. His body was compact like marble, but at the same time gently and pleasant to touch. He wasn't moving as she slowly and gently fondled his chest. He felt her touch even through his clothes. Now, she was the stronger one. She was supporting him without any special tricks. Mia felt how confused he was and she was his medicine. How could he doubt it even for a while?

She painted some invisible signs on him and he tried to guess what she was painting. This game was much better than continuously making plans about their future.

#67 PIANO THEME

After a while, Julian carefully pulled her away and stood up.

-It is time for you to eat something, otherwise you won't get better.

She stood up as well and followed him into the kitchen. She felt still strong and powerful. As always, he took everything from the fridge what he had. This time he stood near the dishwasher and watched her eating.

-You're cheaper to keep than a sparrow. – Julian joked about her little portion of food. She laughed shyly.

Julian made her a cup of tea and a great smell filled the kitchen. It was a mixture of herbs and it was as well a memory of meadows in the summer. Mia drunk it slowly and looked at him every now and then.

-If you like we can go out for a walk later. I guess fresh air will bring you up. – He suggested.

-That's a great idea. – Mia admitted.

She missed being outside. During all the time she was here, she was in the house. She felt like home here. It was strange, because she never felt she had a home and now she was quite sure, she used to have a home before, it was a familiar feeling. Nevertheless, even the greatest house is still a cage and she needed to go outside. She was already excited about it.

She breathed slowly and tried to look as strong as it was possible. If she mentioned with only one word that she wasn't feeling well, they wouldn't leave this place. However, she felt great and wanted so much to see the trees and the grass and to feel the wind on her face. She needed to enjoy the fresh air and the silence around his house.

After she finished her meal, Julian brought her another sweater and a jacket. Both clothes were of a sporty style and much too big for her.

-I think it is warm enough outside, and I just need a sweater. – Mia said.

-You have not been outside yet, how are you now?

-It's already May and it is usually warm in May. I don't think I need so many layers.

-As you wish. Are you sure, you want to go out?

-Yes, I am sure. – She said quickly. Maybe even too quickly.

-I wanted to ask whether you feel good enough to go out. – He corrected himself and looked carefully at her.

He knew she wasn't well, but he didn't want her to be disappointed right now. His light was partially an illusion and he wasn't able to estimate how much it really help her healing and how much it just made her think she was healed. His light was treacherous, even to him.

She already enjoyed the thought of a walk and he was with her, so he could help her anytime she needed it.

-My therapy is a non-proven experiment and I don't know how long you will feel good.

Julian opened the door and a fresh wind came into the room and played with their hair. Mia breathed in and out slowly and deeply three times and only then, she stepped forward. He followed her.

-Are you not going to lock your door? –She asked after they managed a couple of steps forward.

He smiled. She really had no idea about it.

-Mia, we're all alone here. There are no people around. The next house is kilometres away. Believe me; nobody will manage to come here.

She wasn't happy with his answer. She wasn't unhappy, either. Her feelings and thoughts were not obvious to him. Mia was going towards the trees and if he wouldn't know that she was hurt and that she was so weak, he would think she was really fine. She had energy in her eyes again; she had the same energy in her posture. She was self-confident and walked with grace. It was very fascinating to watch her.

They came to the woods and there was a small path between trees. It was like a tunnel through wild roses, shrubs and young and very old trees. This was a wild wood with many post-glacial hills and peat lands. They were walking and she was very surprised by the beauty of this place. Although there were some hills, Justin didn't think they would go climbing. Mia was stronger than he thought, but she wasn't strong enough to climb a mountain. The green colour of the plants had this typical hue of the first spring green.

-What are you thinking about? – Julian asked quietly.

-I can feel that we're at a place where you have not seen people for many years. It's glorious.

Mia was really surprised. She felt a new power in the air, she felt the dampness in the air, and this dampness was beautiful. It smelled like trees and wildness. Because the path already ended, Julian followed her. Mia made some steps forward and when she saw a tiny grassland, she ran there and only when she reached the middle, she stopped.

-Everything's fine? – He asked with sorrow in his voice.

-Yes, everything's fine. –Mia answered and looked to the sky.

Above the trees, you could see a very blue sky and a part of the sun. Mia smiled brightly and in her eyes was happiness. Her childish innocence was so rarely to be found in other people. She was just admiring the wild nature. She spread her arms and started slowly to spin around. Julian stood next to her and watched her with joy. He was glad to see her so happy.

-You have to turn yourself around, too. –she said cheerfully and didn't stop to move. –Spread you arms, Julian, spread them and spin around!

He did what she asked and a second later, they both rotated between trees like little children on a play ground. They were laughing, smiling, and spinning around.

It was quite warm and she took off the sport jacket. She threw it in the grass. Now, she was wearing only her shirt and his t-shirt. In his sport pants, she looked like a stylish hip-hop girl, going to a dance training.

Mia savoured every moment, as if it was the last one. She felt alive. She felt happy. Then she fell down on the grass. Within one second, he laid next to her. She was out of breath and tried to catch her breath. Mia wasn't simply happy. She was endlessly happy, as never before. She looked at him with joy spreading from her whole body and she smiled the whole time.

He smiled back every now and then and couldn't believe it was real. He was sure she was the only human being in the world, which he wanted to see every day, every night, always. He wanted to spend more time with her and he wanted to share her joys and her troubles. Something crushed down inside of him. It was like a block of Arctic ice breaking and getting thinner, melting and rupturing. If he had a human heart, he would say, his heart started to feel real emotions. Now he knew, she was the one and only and he could never ever leave her alone. Julian didn't expect such a change inside of him. He was shocked, but on the other hand, he felt it was his fate from the very beginning. He had seen her in his dream. He met her and he knew she was very important to him. Now he knew he loved her. He knew he has been loving her from the moment he dreamt about her, and now, it became clear and doubtless. Up to now, he had been watching everything through a wall of glass. Now, this wall was tumbling down and he began to see the world with different eyes. Everything became clearer and more intense to him, her smell, the beating of her heart, her joy. It was awesome! Everything around was more colourful and the green colour of spring was more intense as well.

He slowed down the time to look around and to absorb this new quality of his existence. Then he saw a rising surprise in her eyes. He didn't know what caused this shock and changed the time back to human rhythm.

-Julian, you're shining... – She said.

He didn't see any fear in her eyes. She was simply amazed by what she saw. He didn't understand, but in her eyes, he could see his body was flashing with the sapphire-like colour. Mia's surprise and admiration were immeasurably huge. She was like one of the cartoon heroes who see something unexpected: great big eyes and mouth wide open.

Julian was ashamed. He didn't want to share this secret with her, too, because he wanted to protect her. Otherwise, he would already tell her the truth. Now, he felt helpless and didn't know what to do. Her safety was his priority and as long she didn't know everything, she could still have a chance to be safe. On the other hand, she had already seen so much of him that it was already in question whether she had any chance. These thoughts were running around in his head since she noticed his special skills. It was all his fault and now he was carrying a double responsibility for her. In addition, now he was the one who gave her one more reason to ask questions.

Mia was just lying there on the grass and watched him carefully. However, she didn't ask anything. She was just watching him. He pulled himself together coming back to his normal condition and it took a minute. He couldn't understand it. It wasn't normal. He had never started to shine like now, just like that, without any reason. It only happened when he was young and still a trainee, but there were no people around. Was it a sign? It would be easy for him to allow her to ask him questions, but it would be very difficult for her to ask anything that wouldn't be connected with what he was. He already showed some part of himself and couldn't take it back. He knew that she would never guess what he was, because there was no definition of what he was - at least not in any human language.

However, Julian was far away from a rational way of thinking. He felt so great when she was around, it was impossible to describe. She was like the air to breathe for every person in the world, she was like food that kept every human being alive, she was like the piece of luck, which made him one. She was so beautiful and so desirable. To see her lying here in the grass, enjoying nature and everything around made him suddenly feel very romantic.

He couldn't resist his instinct. He wanted to touch her to feel that she was real. He turned to her and looked deep into her eyes and smiled shyly like he never did before. He was overwhelmed by her presence. He stroked her hair and she didn't move. She waited for him to go on. Julian caressed her arm and got to her hand. Then he took her hand in front of his face and kissed her fingers slowly and carefully - like a gentleman does when he meets a lady. Her skin was sensitive and smelled very desirable. Julian tried to be careful when he pulled her towards him into his arm. She didn't resist. He had her so near at his chest that he felt her breathe on his skin. He almost felt her heart beating on his chest.

He stroked her hair with a trembling hand again, still looking into her eyes. Mia laid next to him with her mouth open. She didn't smile, but she was very glad to be at his side. Her lips trembled, her body quivered. Julian stroked her cheek very gently. She followed his moves and tried to hide in his hand. He came closer to her face. Mia closed her eyes. Julian kissed her nose, her forehead, and her lids. Her skin was soft and nice to feel for his trembling lips. He kissed her right cheek, then the left one.

Her heart almost flew out of her chest.

Julian neared his lips to her lips, but he didn't kiss her yet. He was waiting. He felt her so close and enjoyed this moment. The time passed by slower and it almost took an eternity until his lips softly touched hers. She responded to his kiss, very gently, and very slowly. He pulled her even closer and she still didn't resist. He was strong and warm, but somehow delicate too. His lips were tender and soft. His touch was determined and purposefully. He was strong. His muscles were not strained, but she felt them well when he was fondling her.

They kissed for a while and the happiness of their souls was visible in the air. Mia could barely breathe, because his kisses confused her. In her head was only happiness and joy, which made her feel like she was in heaven. She was already there. She was endlessly happy. Julian kissed her cheeks and nose once more so she could take a breath. Then he pulled her to his chest and held her in his arms as if he would never ever leave her again. It was a sign for her that he didn't intend to leave her. They laid here, in the woods, forgotten by the world and by humans and they forgot about the world as well.

The grass and the woods smelled great, but her smell was the best. It was unique and attractive. It was flowery, but carried something with it, which implied her strength. Her skin was unique and her hair was so gentle that he could caress it all the time. He smelled deeply at her hair and then he kissed her again.

All she had to do right now was to remember to keep breathing. Otherwise, she would stay on cloud number nine forever and her body wouldn't be able to catch up. She could feel her happiness in every cell of her body, and with every beat of her heart it was transported through her whole body. Mia felt this pleasant trembling with all of her mind. She was so in love, as if she was jumping from Salto Angel waterfall into a lake of love. And she didn't crush down. She survived and was swimming in this love lake like never before.

He kissed her over and over like he would never want to stop. She didn't oppose. In contrary – she kissed him back as well. She even encouraged herself to stroke his hair, neck and his face. He was visibly pleased by her touch.

#68 HAWAIIAN ROLLER COASTER

Although he made the time pass by slower, it was already late. The sun was going down and the woods became darker and darker. Everything around seemed to be going to sleep. It wasn't warm anymore and he noticed that she was shivering.

Slowly he stood up and helped her to stand up as well. He hugged her and helped her into the sport jacket. When she thought that they would walk back the same way they came here, she was surprised as he suddenly took her into his arms. He lifted her up like a feather. She was in his strong arms and she felt glad about it.

-Hold on. – Julian warned with a joy in his voice.

Then, he started to walk. But his steps were not human steps. One of his steps was like many human steps and although he didn't exert himself, he was pretty quick. Mia felt the air brushing her face and the wind playing with her hair. It was awesome. It was even better than the first time, because now she was conscious. Everything was moving very fast. It was overwhelming.

Mia couldn't make out any details around her. It was like a roller-coaster. She was enjoying the ride, but everything around was changing too fast to be recognised by her human eyes. She looked up to him and saw he wasn't looking at her, but was concentrated on the road. He went home and it didn't take long to reach there.

#69 SUSPICIOUS MINDS

That evening Mia was already in bed when Julian came in. She had still wet hair because she took a shower after the dinner that she had to eat alone again. He wasn't even in the kitchen with her.

Because he wasn't there, she finished her meal quickly and took a shower. For the first time that day, she felt the pain of the wounds again. After a great afternoon in the woods, she was too happy to care about some wounds of her body. It didn't matter.

The healing power of warm water was exactly what she needed. In the shower, she let the waterfall directly onto her face and it was therapeutic. Her body needed it. She stood under a hot water jet for a while and let the seconds pass by. Her leg pulsated a little, but her shoulders and her back were pleased by this wet cure. She relaxed her muscles and enjoyed the water on her body. Then she slowly sat down in the shower cabin. In her head, everything rotated. She was still weak. It was humiliating. Now, when she wanted to show herself as pretty and independent as she could, it wasn't possible.

She saw that he had bought her some new stuff like shampoo and some clothes and wondered when he managed to do that. Her first thought was that he had these things here already (but what for?) and then she saw the price tags cut off from the clothes in the waste bin. These were some label things like pants and even underwear. So far, nobody had ever bought her underwear! The clothes were very nice and stylish, rather classic. She wouldn't make any better choice. Her own clothes were of the same style: sporty and elegant, without patterns. She didn't like patterns they were not useful. They were catching attention and this was reason enough to avoid them.

After the shower, she dressed in a nightshirt that he bought. It was one from the hello kitty collection. The only clothes with pattern, she would wear, would be underwear and nightshirts. How did he know it? He was in her apartment once, but he didn't see her in a nightshirt until now. Up to now, she has been wearing just shirts or sweaters and jeans, he saw her underwear as he was stitching her wound some days ago, but she felt somehow girly shy when she thought he would see her in the hello kitty shirt.

She hopped into the bed and covered herself with the red blanket.

Mia waited for him. When he was at her side, she felt better. Her pain and tiredness were gone or rather forgotten, as if they belonged to another person then. She felt so different at his side. She felt so well. He was the perfect guy for her, she could find on earth. He wouldn't hurt her, even if he had some supernatural skills. She was sure that he would never ever hurt her, unless he would leave her. If he would be gone, she would be all alone. Even more alone than she was before. If you have ever experienced the feeling of great joy and endless happiness, it is very hard to come back to the grey reality.

She knew these feelings. Today was a day of happiness. Today was a day of immense happiness. Today, a new chapter of hope had begun. It was almost like a dream and she was afraid that she would wake up any moment and be all alone in her apartment. This was a like a nightmare, that he would leave her without any reason. She was a human girl and he was something else. Julian could make a free choice and he could deal with the situation the way he liked.

Today they kissed. He kissed very well. His lips were soft, but he gave the impression of being strong and gentle as well. It was quite strange, because you can't experience all these opposites at the same time. Maybe that's why he was so awesome? Or was it rather the feeling of safety, she had by his side?

She wanted to dream this dream. She wanted to feel it. Up to now, all her life was like being on the run. She hardly ever felt love. She hardly ever felt good vibrations. She wanted to protect people she knew from being sad when she was leaving the city, because she knew right from the beginning that she wouldn't stay for long. She protected herself as well. She never had any deep relationship with anyone and she lived like a nun. The only joy in her life was reading books and running. She loved running. She loved to feel the wind on her face. She loved the feeling of being in motion. She loved to see everything from a quaking perspective when she was running. Now there was something else. Julian. He wasn't a person. He was something else than that. But it didn't matter. The only thing, which mattered, was that he existed. That she knew him. That he kissed her. That she loved him.

Julian. Julian. Julian. I love you, love you, love you.

She was once again drifting through the sky –when she thought about him, she was lifted up to the cloud number nine. She felt a butterfly flattering in her stomach and flying around like a crazy hummingbird, like a Green Violetear with its rapid wing beats and not like a graceful butterfly. Hummingbirds can fly at speeds exceeding 15 m/s and butterflies are much more lethargic compared to that.

Then Julian appeared. He looked gorgeous. She was stunned every time she saw him. He was perfect. He was perfectly perfect.

Julian smiled and she smiled back.

-Did you eat something?

Mia nodded.

-Are you tired? It was a long day for you.

He came closer to the bed, but he didn't sit down.

-You should sleep. A sleep would bring you rest. – He whispered and bowed down to kiss her forehead.

-Julian, stay here. Please. – Mia murmured politely.

She didn't have to convince him. He sat down with his back to the bed wall. She came closer to him and laid her head at his chest. He put his hand at her side and started to stroke her. Happiness was always so simple. They didn't talk. They were just absorbing their presence. Julian smelled like wild wind. It was a strange association, but it was perfectly suitable. He smelt like the wild wind. Was he running a couple of minutes ago? If Mia could run as fast as he could, she would be running almost the entire time of her life.

-Do you want to hear a good night story? - He asked quietly. She trembled because of the hummingbird inside her, but she didn't move much.

-So close your eyes and I will tell you one. You don't know it, but I have already seen you before. I can't remember when and how, but I have seen your face before.

She was listening carefully. However, she didn't close her eyes. Julian continued:

-I thought about it for a long time and I couldn't remember it clearly. Now I had a flash. I don't know when it was, but you were sitting on some rocks. It was in the evening, because the sun was down near the horizon. Now, I even know where it was. It was on an island that is seven miles long and three miles wide, so it was rather small. I was running from one end of the island to the other, there and back. The landscape was beautiful all along the coast towards the north. It was the magnificent Bantry Bay. It is a delightful island, peaceful and quiet and I needed some tranquillity back then. It was the best place for me in this part of the world. I needed to find my internal peace again and I knew I had to be alone. I had been running for days. Then, suddenly I was stunned: When I came to the coast, I saw someone standing there from far away: near the coast, on the cliff. This person seemed to plan to jump into the doom of the sea at any moment.

Mia listened to the story and it was breathtaking. His voice was full of emotions; it shivered more with every word. She felt his trembling hand at her back.

-This person was standing straight, looked towards the horizon. It had to be a female. She wore a white dress, which flattered in the wind. It was a lady, but she didn't fit there. It was no time for such a dress – it was early spring, everything was turning green and it was quite cold, I suppose. It wasn't a place to wear such dresses – you don't dress like that in this region. Nevertheless, it was delightful to watch her standing on the cliff.

Mia heard and thought what a woman he had seen. Probably she was prettier than Mia was and a white, flattering dress looked gorgeous without any doubt.

-I came closer and closer and tried not to frighten her in any way. You never know how other beings react. I came closer and closer and I was fascinated by this lady. I was already so close that she could see me without turning, and when I stood right next to her, I saw... you. You were there.

Mia moved a little, because he moved. However, she didn't sit up; her head rested on his chest. And Julian went on quietly.

-I saw you there. You turned your face towards me and you just looked at me. Your hair was flying in the wind. Your dress was flattering in the wind. It was awesome. The ribbon of your dress was like a white veil and it was very long. I never saw something like this before. You looked gorgeous.

His voice squealed admiration - and non-belief as if he wouldn't believe what he saw.

-You smiled at me shyly as you smiled at me in my car, the first time we met each other for real. I guess I smiled back. I was surprised to see you there and I wasn't able to speak. I was speechless and I was starring at you. Then you said...

Suddenly he went silent. He didn't move for a while. Even his hand, which had been stroking her so long, stopped moving.

Mia tried not to move either. She was curious to know what happened next, but she knew she couldn't ruin this moment. He needed time to pull himself together to tell his story to the end. Another minute went by and Julian still said nothing. Mia held her breath, but she couldn't hold it so long. She breathed out and got new air. Then he stood up and jumped away. He was standing at the door and was unsure whether he wanted to leave or stay. He made very quick moves here and there. He was so fast that Mia could hardly see where he was. From time to time he looked at her and when their eyes met he remained in one place for a short moment.

Mia sat down on bed and watched him carefully. She tried not to wonder about anything. She tried to relax and keep cold blood. Julian mumbled something that she didn't understand. He was too fast and she wasn't able to follow his moves. It was very hard for her to remain calm.

Then she said something, what he didn't expect:

-Trust me, Julian.

He stood like a rock, immovable, starring at her.

-What? What did you say? – He was like an innocent person who had just heard his own death sentence.

He jumped to her, took her into his arms and lifted her into the air. He repeated madly:

-What did you say?

-Julian, trust me. I won't ask anything. I promise. – She was surprised by his reaction. She was scared a little bit, too.

-Mia... – Julian whispered submissive and put her back on the bad. He was trembling with all of his body and kept standing.

She stood up slowly and came towards him. He turned his back to her, but she didn't mind. She hugged him from behind and leaned her cheek on his back.

-Julian, I really won't ask you anything. Please relax.

-Mia, you said that before. And I can't do it to you. – He said with deep resignation.

-You can't trust me? – She asked quietly.

-No, I can't tell you everything, because I don't want to pronounce a judgement about you. I can't do it to you.

-Then don't. Hush...

They were standing in the middle of the room and didn't move. Julian was almost a head taller than her. It didn't matter. She hugged him tighter and felt his tense body. Every muscle of him was contracted. He was like a rock. He wasn't gentle anymore. It was as if she would hold a stone right now.

Then, bit by bit, his tension eased away. After some moments, he turned to her. Mia loosened her hug. He took her cheeks into his hands and forced her to look him into the eyes. His gaze was very intense, but she could see that the storm was calming down.

-Mia, you said this to me on the cliff. You told me to trust you.

He was out of energy. He wasn't sure what to do. She understood it.

-I have never been in Ireland. I have never been abroad at all. You were dreaming. Anyway, I don't force you. You can keep your secret for you, if it helps you sleeping.

Mia spoke quietly, but serene.

He shook his head.

-Mia, I never sleep. I wasn't dreaming. I can't explain it to myself. It is all quite strange to me. Everything is out of control and I don't know what to do. And you said to trust you, so I will. – His voice was calm. He got his self-control back.

-On this cliff, I met you and then you jumped into the magnificent Bantry Bay. Unfortunately, I couldn't catch you. I was too slow. This was strange. I have never been too slow. You didn't reappear. There was just a white stripe of clouds, coming from below, and it was scary. I can't imagine losing you and it was so real. I was standing there, on the cliff, looking for you, and I couldn't find you. I jumped after you but you were not there. I was swimming here and there and I went crazy when I couldn't find you. I didn't know who you were or what your name was. I just saw a beautiful girl, who told me to trust her, and she was gone in the next moment. I wasn't able to see you anymore. The memory was gone for a while but today it came back. Since then it was strange to live without you. I wasn't able to fully understand myself, I couldn't help myself, I was going crazy and there was nothing, that could keep me away from you. I tried to forget you, but it didn't work. I tried to fill my mind with other things, but it didn't help. You were always on my mind.

He hugged her and then, some minutes later, he said with an icy voice:

-Mia, you have to decide whether you want to know the whole truth. I will take the entire responsibility for what I will tell you, but you have to think about it and say what you want. It is a very serious decision.

She looked into his deep blue eyes and smiled a little.

-So what are you? – She asked slowly.

-Are you sure? There will be no coming back.

-Julian – she started again slowly and concentrated - Trust me.

#70 ANGELS

-It is hard to explain and I don't know where to start.

Julian laid on the bed and she laid her arm on his belly and steadied her head on her hand. She was observing him very carefully, while he was staring at the ceiling.

-It is hard to explain what I am. –Julian repeated and continued only after a while. - There is no word in any human language that describes me. It is strange to talk about it with anyone, because it is not easy. There is a legend that says that a long, long time ago, people and my species were living together like brothers. In fact, we are brothers. We look similar. At that time, harmony and peace ruled the word. It was like a paradise. Everyone tried to help each other and there were no enemies. Sweet, perfect harmony. Men were going hunting, their women were taking care of the children and we were playing with the kids as well. We were helping men to make fire and to build villages. They told us about their discoveries. Sometimes, we went with them into the woods and watched them hunting. Sometimes, we stayed in the villages helping women to sharpen their knifes. We travelled from one human village to another and were always welcome. We were not a big group. There were just three dozens of us. The wisest of us were two souls, which we barely saw. They appeared shortly and unexpected. They never spoke a word. They connected with us through their thoughts. They never showed up together at the same time. They were always laughing truthfully and respectfully and everybody appreciated them. They sometimes took part in meetings of the human Wisemen and they understood each other perfectly.

However, there was one of us who thought that people aren't good enough to live with us at the same level. We were much stronger, much wiser and much faster than people. He started to play out people against our wise souls. He knew that people can't read minds. We do. We can read minds of people and animals. That skill has to be trained. If we're not trained, we aren't allowed live around people. We have to be able to focus on important things. People think much, but most of their thoughts are unimportant. There are sorrows, problems, hopes, wishes... If you can't deal with it and if you can't make out the important thoughts, then you are not allowed to live between humans.

-Reading minds? – She repeated surprised.

-Yes. Reading minds, it is quite interesting. I don't even have to look at a person to read his or hers mind. It is like watching TV. I can see pictures or movies; it depends on what the person is thinking about. If someone has a wish, then I will see what that person is wishing for. In addition, the more precise the wish is the more accurate is the picture. If someone remembers something then I can see it like a movie, if the memory is good, or like a picture, if the memory is fleeting.

-And you can read my mind, too? – She wondered.

Julian looked at her and smiled confused. She was looking so unbelievably insecure at this moment.

-Mia, you look sweet.

-You didn't answer my question. – She noticed.

-Oh, right. That's actually one of my questions. So far, I was able to read the mind of every person I met, but you are the first one, who doesn't allow me to get into your mind. I can't understand it and I would like to ask one of our Wisemen about it, but I can't. That would betray your existence and they would notice your knowledge about us.

-I am not buying it. – She said. – It's impossible.

-You're impossible. You have already seen so much and you doubt about this one thing? - He was laughing. - We're going out. – He said and it sounded like a command.

-No, I want to hear the story! - Mia opposed.

-It's too late. Anyway, it is better to explain it in practise. Trust me.

She was unsure whether he was joking or was being serious right now, so she didn't move. But he quickly sat up and delicately lifted her and put her to her feet on the floor. I wasn't a joke. Once more she realised how strong he was, took her like a feather.

She went to the bathroom, took off her nightshirt and dressed in her jeans and her bright short-sleeved shirt, which he had washed and dried for her already.

-Are you sure? – She hesitated as she left the bathroom.

-Mia, believe me. There is a party in the city, everyone is celebrating the third day of May, the constitution day, and you asked for a proof.

She was ready and trembling because of excitement. He helped her taking on his sport jacket, which she was wearing earlier today in the woods, and then he took her carefully into his arms.

-It will be faster when we'll go like this. – He said and Mia smiled widely. She already knew that she might feel the wind on her face again.

It was already dark outside and Mia could see some stars behind the clouds. As he started to run, she couldn't then see these stars anymore. She could only see a world changing so fast that everything was looking awesome. Some minutes later, they arrived to the city, there was light everywhere, but through the speed they looked like askew streaks of light. She was laughing and enjoying this trip. He stopped and let her stand on her own legs. They were in some street and she saw his blue Mustang parked two steps in front of them.

-I thought you car is at home.

-That's my second car. It looks the same, but it isn't.

-But the registration number is the same. - Mia wondered.

-Yes, because I try not to use them both at the same time. – He laughed. – It's a long story.

-Oh. By the way, your car is wonderful.

-It is an original 6-cylinder car with automatic transmission and in good shape. All the chrome is in decent condition. The first owner purchased the car new in 1968 and sold it to me in 1970. Only in 1995, I brought it to Poland and in the meanwhile, I pimped it myself in the best possible way. The second one, I bought one year earlier, in the summer of '69. I love this song of Bryan Adams and I have to think of my car when I hear it.

Julian was very proud of his collection and his work. This car was gorgeous.

He opened the right door and waited until she had taken her seat. Then he was sitting behind the wheel before she managed to breathe out. He started the engine and he was driving quite too fast. She remembered the ride with him some days ago. She thought she was too ill to see everything as it was, but she was mistaken. She was indeed ill, but she perceived everything exactly as it was. Somehow, she was glad about it.

Then they stopped. It was a small town and she didn't recognize which one. She didn't know where they were right now. It was a square and there were some buildings. It looked like a small, nice city and this was for sure the main square in front of the town hall. But it was quite dark here. They could hear some music from the buildings behind them, pop music and Polish top hits, and some happy voices of people.

-Mrągowo was on the way. I always liked this city. It's not so crowded and still it is a great place to party. – Julian said shortly as she was wondering if he could really read minds.

-Mia, are you OK? You don't look well.

-I am great, I am just wondering how we came here. We were in Warsaw and now we are in the heart of the northeastern Poland. There are some 200 kilometres between them.

-You will wonder more often today. Don't think about it, let the story be told step by step and then you'll understand everything. You wanted the truth, so let me present it to you.

Julian stepped out of the car, opened her door, and helped her to go out as well. As they were going in the direction of the music and the voices, he put his arm around her.

-Did you know that the Teutonic Knights constructed a wooden fortress named Sensburg near present-day Mrągowo in Middle Ages? – He asked almost enthusiastic.

He seemed to be relieved that he was on the way to tell her the truth and apparently, he wanted to show her everything at once and couldn't decide what to show first. This late evening seemed to become very emotional and full of miracles.

When they left the last line of buildings behind, she saw the lake and people having a party at the shore. There were Chinese lanterns and many plants around, and people were dancing and singing. It looked very nice and joyful. Julian changed his way of walking, he wasn't walking, but almost dancing. She smiled uncertain of what was expecting her.

-But I... – she started and Julian looked at her and she fell silent.

-I can't dance, I can't walk... – Julian imitated Phil Collins and she had to laugh.

The more she was laughing the more he was singing:

But I can't dance, I can't talk  
Only thing about me is the way that I walk  
I can't dance, I can't sing  
I'm just standing here sellin' everything.

They came to the group of celebrating people and Julian took her to the dance floor right away.

-But I...

-Hush... Hush... Wait a second. You will surely enjoy the next song.

And then she heard:

"I sit and wait does an angel contemplate my fate..."

She exactly knew what he meant. He took her into his arms and they swung together. He was right, she was very happy to hear this song.

Julian started to sing it quietly into her ear and he wasn't worse than Robbie Williams himself. He hugged her carefully and his voice was very attractive. He could really sing. He seemed to like Robbie Williams. And he said he can't read her mind... Her heart was beating fast like a wild horse running through the plains. She was overwhelmed by the moment and she forgot about everything around her. It was usually not her style to allow this to happen and to leave the world behind. Right now, she didn't care whether she was swinging right, who was looking at her or whether she was catching attention. This moment was counting and only here and now was important.

They were swinging slowly and happily. When the song was over, Julian took her hand and guided to a table. It looked like he had ordered the table, what was impossible, because he couldn't foresee such a situation, but he went directly to this table he saw and waited for her to sit down before he took his place. Other people were still dancing and now there was some faster music playing in the background. She was focussed on him and his movements. He was smiling for all the time and he looked her into the eyes quite often. He was happy. He bent over to to her and whispered into her ear:

-You wanted a proof? So tell me what should I prove to you?

-I don't know, I think I believe you.

-It doesn't work: to think and to believe are two different things. The first one is rational, the other one is emotional. Nevertheless, you didn't buy the thing with reading minds, so look at the guy over there – with a movement of his eyes Julian pointed at the DJ – He is thinking about what he will play in 5 minutes and can't decide whether it should be Madonna or some Polish music. Furthermore, he has problems with his girlfriend and thinks about breaking up. The girl over there considers whether her parents realised that she hasn't come home yet. It is already midnight and she should have been at home at 11 pm.

The young girl was looking as if show was enjoying herself and it was unlikely that she was worrying about her parents. On the other hand, Mia had seen some doubts in the girl's face, even though she was dancing like a pro, there was something about her her moves, that showed some hesitation.

Julian described her some further examples, but Mia wasn't convinced. Then, Julian looked at her and asked:

-What would you like to drink? A waitress is coming.

That was true, a waitress was approaching them. Julian couldn't see her, because she was behind his back and it was loud because the music. At the same time, he could turn around so quickly that it wasn't needed to read anything in minds. She was still not really buying the story with reading minds.

After they ordered – a mineral water for her - he continued to explain her who was thinking what. It was incredible. She never looked at people like that. Sometimes she wondered what other people would think about, but there was never any certainty about it. Now he was talking about details, which were apparently true. She was shocked. She drunk her water and listened to these stories. When she finished, he took her for a walk along the shore of the lake.

-What are they like, these pictures? And when a person thinks about something what he or she is experiencing right now? How does it look like?

-It depends on how strong this person feels about it. If it is very important, I can see many details. Sometimes I can only see some details good, but the entire picture is fuzzy. Sometimes I can recognize faces, sometimes I can hear voices, and sometimes I can even see parsley between teeth, if it was important for someone.

-And can you see memories of someone, even if this person doesn't think about it at that moment? – Mia was deeply interested. While she was listening to his answers, she picked some grass and tried to tie its ends together. As the grass wasn't flexible enough to be tied together, she took another one.

The lake looked gorgeous. On the surface, you could see some flattering lights and the stars and the moon looked not only from behind the clouds. It reflected as well on the mirror of the lake. In the background, music was playing, but not so loud anymore. It was already after midnight and it was too late for checking out the maximum volume of the music boxes.

-Yes, indeed. People are like a book for me. I open a page, which raises my interest or which I have to get to know.

-And you really can't see what is going on with me?

-No, I can't, but I would like to. It makes you so special somehow. It is like you would be my personal riddle, my personal challenge. I can't feel you and I can't read you.

Julian explained her everything slowly and clearly, without any sign of impatience. He was glad that she was curious. It was quite a new experience for him to see tell these things that were so normal to him to someone, for whom they were impossible to reach.

-Feel me?

-Yes, it's connected with the reading part. If you know what a person is thinking, then you know which state of mind he or she is in. You know whether people are angry, annoyed or glad, even if they hide it from you. Some are quite good to pretend they're very happy when they are really annoyed in reality. It is easier to react to what they do and what they plan.

-Do you influence what people do?

-Every one of us has own free will. That's the most important rule. You should behave according to what you think is right. I can influence you as much as any human being can influence you. Sometimes you hear some good advice and miffed comments, everybody thinks about their own business. I prefer to stay away from influencing people, because I have made some bad experiences with it.

-How bad?

-Oh, Mia, there are some stories, which are longer than this night. I think you are already tired enough, it was a very long day for you. – He said gently and looked into her eyes. – Would you like to go back?

She wanted to hear more, she wanted to hear everything, but she felt tired. She hoped he couldn't see it, but she had to admit that this day was demanding. She was sure he will not change his mind and will tell her everything as soon as possible.

-You're right. Let's go back.

They walked next to each other and then he took her hand without looking at her. She was walking hand in hand with him. It was a great feeling, because it meant so much to her. She was his girl right now. This was awesome. Unfortunately, she was a tired girl as well and it was impossible to describe how exhausted she really was.

She didn't know when she fell asleep. She didn't remember how he took her home and how he carefully laid her in the bed and covered with a blanket. She didn't notice, either, that he transferred some of his energy to her, because she was still in poor condition. Nevertheless, there was hope. She was better and she slept calmly.

Julian watched her the whole night while sitting in the chair next to the bed she was sleeping in. He held her hand for all the time. She was holding him, too.

#71 FAITHFUL

Mia was right; Julian wanted to trust her from the very beginning. She was so delicate that he always had to be very careful. One wrong movement of him and she would be hurt or even killed. He could crush her like a feather or a little bee. He could clamp her too strong and he even wouldn't notice it. His mentor had kept repeating that great strength requires even greater responsibility. It was true. He had already hurt some people just because he wasn't patient enough. She was too precious to him and he was very messy in the last days. He had too many emotions and thoughts. Up to now, he never had any doubts about what he was doing and for what. Since he met her, he wasn't sure about his behaviour.

His dream occupied his thoughts. He never slept like a normal human being. From time to time he rested at home in the mountains, and he had had this vision. He had never talked about it in detail with anyone of his family.

He has been laying at his place and his eyes were shut. He didn't know now what he was thinking. It was a normal day and he had nothing special to do. When he had opened his eyes, he had seen her face. At first, it was just a diffuse picture. Julian wondered why he wasn't able to see her clearly. She was bent over him and she was looking gorgeous. Her surprised eyes were even bigger than they usually were. Her hair was put together and only some strands of hair were flying in the wind behind her back. Some curls had fallen in her face because of the wind. This wind had been refreshing and brought her smell with it. She hadn't moved, she was just standing there. The sun behind her looked like a crown on her head. It had been almost impossible to look into her eyes, because the sun was dazzling him too much. He wanted to move, but somehow he wasn't able to. His smile died away in his throat like an ugly frog and couldn't jump outside to show on his face.

Suddenly, some clouds appeared on the sky and hid the light of the sun. It became dark outside, like at night. Only the stars were spending some light. Mia was still standing bent over him and she hadn't moved a millimetre. It was strange to him not to be able to move any part of his body. He was captured in a glass shell and she wasn't able to see him trying to move. She was just standing there and looking at him.

She was clearly moved. She tried to smile, but her eyes were sad. Her eyes were full of fire. She was mad. She was angry. She was burning inside and the whole range of her emotions showed down in her eyes. He wanted to ask her why she was so moved. He wanted to stand up and ask her who she was and what her name was. He tried to break free from this glass shell, but it didn't work. It was frustrating for him to lose all his power and to not be able to do anything. It was like a fisher had told him once: you try to swim in a mad, dangerous river and you see the river banks every now and then, but the power of the water forces you to flow with it and drags you down into her deepness with her wet, strong arms that won't let go. You try to catch breath, but you only get more water into your lungs and you can even hear the river laughing about you. Julian saved this man from drowning. It was very, very long ago. That river had been really dangerous.

This was the same fight. It wasn't a river, which he should challenge; it was a wall of glass, which he had to break. Unfortunately, all his attempts lead nowhere. He was captured, frustrated and she was standing there, outside, and was looking at him.

He tried to focus and read her thoughts, but it didn't work. He saw the range of emotions in her eyes, but he wasn't able to interpret them in any way. As the first tear showed in her eye, she turned around and washed it away with her hand. She wore a white top. She was beautiful. This dress was apparently made of wind and clouds. She looked as if she was covered in a tender mist. Everything was flying in the wind. She was nothing but motion!

Julian remembered her eyes and her face. That is why he recognized her in the drug store. He wanted to contact her, but she disappeared too quickly. When he saw her standing in the street on his way to Jelenia Gora he knew, he had to get her into his car.

Mia's eyes showed different emotions. She was angry and scared, but she wasn't mad. She was quite calm. She didn't wear these cloudily clothes. Her hair wasn't put together, but fell freely on her shoulders. There was no trace of wind around her. However, she was still very fascinating. And dynamic. And he was still not able to read her.

Julian watched her now, as she was sleeping, and he was stroking her hand. She was so delicate that he always had to be very careful. He had loved her from the very beginning, even though he didn't know who she was.

#72 COULD IT BE MAGIC

When she woke up, she smiled. He was sitting in his chair holding her hand. He was smiling as well. She was still wearing her clothes from the previous evening. She went into the bathroom and took shower while Julian prepared the breakfast for her. When she came into the kitchen, he was traditionally standing somewhere else away from the table and watched her eating.

-Why don't you never eat with me?

-I don't have to eat your human meals. – He answered. – But I will gladly accompany you during your breakfast.

-But you have to take your strength from somewhere. – She was confused. – Are you something like a vampire?

-You read too much of the Twilight-saga, Mia. I am definitely not a vampire. It is something else. I take my energy from everything around me. Everything has energy. You, other people, animals, plants, rivers, mountains... everything has energy. I don't have to eat to get this energy. I absorb it in the way you already saw in the woods. It is the most natural connection in nature.

Julian looked at his hands and Mia watched them as well. There was a small sapphire coloured ball coming from his hands. It was between his two hands, and had a magnificent shine. Mia was amazed. She wanted to touch it, but she didn't have enough courage to do it. She was like a child in a candy-shop. Julian saw her fascination and doused the ball. It disappeared as surprisingly as it had come into view.

-You shouldn't touch it. It could kill you. I am not sure how much energy your body accepts and therefore I don't want to try it. It is like bushmen acting according to their instincts. You seem to me as if you have no limits and you are specially connected to dangerous situations.

Mia knew that he was meaning not only his own company, but was referring to her wounds and cuts. She smiled shyly, because he wasn't right. She wasn't looking for trouble, but trouble found her surprisingly often.

-Nothing happens without a reason. – Mia answered.

-One of our Wisemen keeps saying the same thing. He repeats it steadily. – Julian was a little surprised, even it was a well-known saying. Therefore, it was strange to hear it from her.

Mia saw his confusion. Then she came back to her main area of interest:

-Can you show me this light again? How do you do it?

Julian smiled and within a second, the blue ball was already between his hands again.

-Does it hurt you when you create it?

-No, it doesn't hurt me. – Julian was laughing. – I am pure energy. I can modulate how much energy I use.

The sapphire ball disappeared again. Then he clenched his fingers and laid them on the table. He stretched his arm to her and she touched him. His fist was hard and solid like a rock. After a moment, it was soft and gentle as satin. Mia stroked his fist and it was unbelievable to feel how it was changing so fast. Julian was surprised by her amazement. She was like a little child watching a magic trick "where is my nose", enjoying this game every time it sees it. It was wonderful to see how much she enjoyed his show.

-It is all about energy, as I already said. Consequently, it is important for me to control myself perfectly; otherwise, I could easily hurt you or any other person. I don't want to hurt anyone, especially you.

Julian was very serious at this moment. He wasn't laughing or smiling and he looked deep into her eyes. He was worried. Mia wanted to draw his attention to something else. He looked gorgeous even if he had sorrows, but she preferred to see him in a good mood.

-Can you change into something else?

-No, I can't. I can change myself, but I can't change my environment.

-And from where do you take this energy?

-From nature.

-So you take energy from people, too. It still quite similar to a vampire, but vampires need blood and you take just the energy. Where's the difference?

-The difference is simple: I don't have to kill someone to get what I want. – He laughed. – And you have a vampire's obsession.

-It is not funny. – She judged. – I am just trying to understand.

Julian was still laughing. To criticise any book she read and liked was apparently one of the biggest faux pas.

-No, I am not a vampire. I am just taking some energy from the nature. I don't take all the energy from one person. It would kill you, if I would do it. However, I never took your energy. I gave you some of mine. You saw it flying in the room.

She was calm and fascinated, while she listened to his words.

-My species that I am calling my family, by the way: there are not so many of us in the world, had a pact with humans. It is a very long tradition. It goes back to the times when we were living among people and when we were travelling from one human village to another. I told you yesterday that there were not many of us and we didn't walk in one group. There were smaller groups of us, three, four members of my family. And we were walking here and there. The ancient people called us Pherenikes which meant "bringing victory" from φερω (phero) "to bring" and νικη (nike) "victory" or Brennus which is a form of a Celtic name (or title) that possibly meant either "king, prince" or "raven", depending on the region. We didn't say "we came in peace" – he laughed – but we were always welcomed with respect and joy, like kings or gods. People even gave us with these names, but we kept repeating that we don't use these titles. However, people didn't care about it and kept used these titles. People have to believe in something. They have to believe that there is someone responsible for their fate. They have to believe in a magnificent power that helps them when they are in need. People need hope; they can't believe they can rely on their own power only. They have to believe in something mysterious, mystifying, saint. Therefore, they gave us these titles, followed us with respect and gave us gifts. Because we don't eat human food, we didn't accept the gifts they presented to us. Nevertheless, they started to beg and finally we accepted playing this game. We took their gifts and passed them on, gave them to another village. Everybody was happy. We had our fun and people got something to believe in.

I was mostly in the Mediterranean area, because I liked the landscape and the climate there. It was our home. There is a Mount Olympus, which is the highest mountain, and it is known as the "home of the gods" from the ancient Hellenistic world. Due to the old legends, you cannot climb there, you will be unsuccessful and you'll fall down. You're just a human being and you won't achieve what's for the gods. We said it to people, because we wanted to have our peace. And indeed it is hard to climb there, even today. There are still unknown rugged tracks between some of the high passes and there are green valleys and flowering meadows. There is one of the most scenic and gorgeous landscapes of the island's interior, you have to cross mountain ridges, chasms and slopes and then you get there – to my home. You will see a hidden gorge between snow-capped mountains, this is your destination. As a normal human being, you will not be able to get there and if you should manage it, you will not see this gorge with a human eye. It is a magical entrance to a world that exists longer than human kind. The land of gods is there.

Julian became very dreamy when he was speaking about his home. He saw his home right in front of his eyes. He smelled the valleys and flowering meadows. He felt the wind blowing between the mountains. You can see he was glad to have such a place called home and apparently, he missed it right now. It was a pleasure to watch him telling his story.

-And we had a non-spoken pact with humans: we didn't hurt or disturb them and they didn't bother us. We were what an older brother is for a younger sister. We didn't want to change anything. At least it was the general impression. We helped them to build their cities, we helped them to get their food, we helped them to dream a fairytale about good gods they needed.

Mia was finished already for a while, but she didn't interrupt him. He noticed it just in this moment and faster then she could twinkle with her eye, he had cleaned up everything.

-Would you mind to go for a short walk? – He asked standing behind her suddenly.

Mia turned to him and smiled instead of speaking. Of course, she would go with him anywhere he wanted to.

She took his sport jacket and put on her shoes. Julian was already waiting for her on the veranda. He smiled at her when she left the house. He was looking great. He had a bright, earth-coloured stylish jacket and pants of a similar colour. He was elegant, but in a way that didn't make him look arrogant or snobbishly. He was looking quite modern, but classic as well. His taste was just perfect. Moreover, he could wear anything and he would still be looking very handsome and incredibly attractive. He was definitely one of the gods. He just looked like one.

-I will take you to a place that I really love here, in Poland.

She nodded with a smile and then she was already in his arms. He started to run even faster than up to now. This wind in her face was refreshing, energetic and lovely! She loved it, and she really enjoyed it!

As he stopped, they were near a lake. It wasn't big, but it was clear and twee. It was a very romantic place. There were woods around them and a small place at the sore of the lake, was the only place where you could stand. It was a little cliff, he sat down there, and she followed him. Mia started to swing her legs and admired the landscape. The lake below her feet was beautiful. It was so clear that she could see the ground. Everything was juicy green and vivid. It was calm here, no people around, no human traces, just the two of them and the nature. The sun was shining, but not as bright as yesterday. There were some clouds at the sky, but it was still quite warm. She took her jacket off and he did the same. They were sitting on the cliff and she looked into the sky, facing the sun so she could soak up some warm energy.

-You look great in that. – Julian said and pointed at a khaki ¾ long-sleeve cotton top, which he bought her. It was quite modern, but classy.

She smiled. She liked it, too.

-Thank you. You should not have bought me things.

-I was in your apartment and brought some of your stuff and on the way; I couldn't resist to take this one. I could picture you in it. I was right. It looks great. Please take it as a gift.

She was a little embarrassed that he was in her house, looking for her clothes.

-I was already wondering when you managed to go to my apartment when I saw my clothes and cosmetics.

-For a girl you don't have many things. Everything would fill not more than two travelling bags. And by the way: I like your style.

-Thank you. I like yours, too.

-That's good.

They laughed.

-Do you travel much? –He asked unexpectedly.

-In Poland?

-No, in general.

-So far, I have not been abroad. In Poland, I have already lived in various cities.

She felt obligated to tell him something about her, because he was telling her his story. It wouldn't be fair to receive all this information from him and not to give anything in return.

-In which place did you live?

-Almost every year I moved to another city. I used to live was in Gdansk, Szczecin, Wroclaw, Jelenia Gora, Gorzow... Now I'm living in Warsaw.

She was calm, but he could see a shadow in her eyes, that he couldn't understand. He had a feeling she didn't want to talk about it and it was time to change the topic.

-And how do you like Warsaw?

-Oh, Warsaw. I don't know. It changes very fast. It becomes fresh and Western-like with all these skyscrapers and modern architecture. However, I don't feel well there. This city steals my strength.

Mia was relieved that he didn't ask further. She thought about her grandmother and Jonas. It was true. She didn't feel well in Warsaw.

-Can cities have a negative energy?

-Yes. Every living being and every place has its own energy. Talking about people, these are just some little quantities of energy. But still, if you saw a village through my eyes, you would know that there is an energetic potential. In the cities, all energy of every single person and animal and of the nature are cumulated and they glow.

-You can see the energy of every person?

-I can see the energy levels of every living being.

-How does it look like?

-I look at you ans can see a special aura that people can't see. I see it very well. It is of different colours and intensity. It depends on how you feel. In your case right now, you have an off-white shell around you and it is rather faded. It is not a good sign. It means that you are weak.

He moved his hand along her body keeping only a distance of some millimetres.

-Here, you are off-white.

Then he moved his trembling hand to the wounded leg.

-Here, the colour is more faded than in other parts of your body.

Then he almost touched her belly.

-The same thing here, the colour is very deceased. That was why I know where you're hurt the most. That is helping me to be more effective.

She observed how he was moving his hand along her body and was surprised.

-Normally, a human being has got an opal-white shell. If someone is happy or feeling positive emotions, then the colour changes into pearly-white or silver-white. If someone is ill or wounded then it is off-white. If someone is dying it is cashmere white or creamy white. And very faded. The colour is disappearing when people are dying. At the end, when no colour is left, you know that someone died. Because of the intensity, I can say how ill or happy someone is. I don't know why, but happiness or love is white. Other emotions have different colours. Red is aggression, angriness, green is melancholic or gloomy, blue is dreamy, wistful, black means always something bad, violet is resignation, brown is relaxation, coolness, yellow is tricky and never comes alone. I can see how intense a feeling is by the intensity of the colour. Imagine you have a cut diamond, it is transparent, you can look inside of it, and you see the millions of colours there. It is the same what I can see in people.

-What colour do I have now?

-I cannot say. I cannot look into you. The same as with reading thoughts. I cannot read yours. It's connected. It looks like you would block it or you're a unique exception. Maybe you are like a rough diamond. I don't know. I keep thinking about this all the time.

-That's awesome! You are really like one of the gods.

-Many people would call us angels as well. – He smiled. – But we're not angels. We're just us.

-And it doesn't bother you to see all these people on the streets and in cities who are shining all the time?

-I have to look into someone to see all these colours. What I always see is the shell. But I can't imagine living creatures without it. It's the same like you can't imagine anybody with such a shell either. I don't know it differently. It is how I view the world.

-And how does Warsaw look like to you? Which colour does it have?

-Warsaw is a city which witnessed many terrible and terrifying occurrences. Many people died there in an inhuman way and the energy of their suffering is still anchored to the city. However, there are many positive things lately. Generally, this city has a negative balance, but it is not so bad anymore today. It used to look much worse.

-How old are you?

-I am already living for many centuries. We don't count it like you. My age doesn't matter. What is important, are the values and experiences I collect. I thought I knew already everything about the world. I witnessed many occurrences, I accompanied many people, but because of you, I have changed. It is still something that I cannot understand. You are my sweetest downfall, Mia. I never made such an experience. I don't know what the future will bring. The more precise you plan the harder it gets. I was sure I spend further centuries like I did before and then I met you. You have changed me and nobody has ever had such an influence on me like you do.

She was reddening as he spoke. Now she was red like a carrot. He smiled, because it was cute. She looked away.

The sun was fighting with the clouds in the sky. Sometimes the sun broke through with the satisfaction of a conqueror and then it was pushed aside by the clouds, that happily took over the command of the sky. Trees were swinging in the wind and the waves on the lake were nice to watch.

-Are you immortal? –Mia asked after a while when her face went back to her normal colour.

-What does it mean immortal? –He asked himself and at only after a while, he continued. - I have been living for many centuries and I will probably die one day. I don't know. People want to posses more time, dream about eternity, but they don't use the time they have. They don't enjoy their life.

-So you won't die?

-We can die for sure. There are two ways. As I already told you, we are taking energy from the nature. At first, you collect energy without control and you have to learn how to deal with it in the right way. If you are trained, you can use it with purpose. Even against your family. There was such a case, but only once. It was a very bad story. We are afraid it's not over yet. The second case is when we betray our secret. So far, there was no such case, because everyone kept the secret safe.

Julian was silent for a longer while. Mia held her breathe. They were serious right now. They knew that there was danger somewhere in this world, that was coming from Julian's family.

Clouds united with each other and it looked like they were winning this sky battle. The sun was hidden and it was much darker outside than yesterday at the same time. It started to rain. Mia put on the jacket and pulled her legs towards her cheeks. She looked at the surface of the lake and saw many small rings caused by raindrops. He stood up and held out his hand to her. She saw his gesture and let him help her to stand up, too.

-I think you should not get wet here, you will probably catch a cold.

He took her into his arms and after a short while they were already back on the veranda of his house.

-I will prepare you a warm cup of tea, OK?

She nodded. He went into the kitchen and she stayed outside.

Julian had a family which was important to him and which he loved and missed. However, he could get home. He had a home. Mia had just her grandmother and her grandmother wasn't the most lovely person. Mia wasn't even sure anymore whether she loved her grandmother. She respected her and she liked her, but she wasn't a beloved person. Mia felt responsible for her grandmother, but she didn't miss her. In their daily routine they were passing by each other, they barely spoke with each other and this was mutual.

Mia remembered that when she was little, she was taken away from her aunt Renata. Mia had been living with Aunt Renata for three years and it was quite similar to the life she lived with her grandmother. When Aunt Renata took her to the door of grandmother, Mia was six years old and was supposed to go to basic school. The door was opened by an old woman with plump glasses. She was quite old and skinny. Her hands were thin and her eyes were like of a fish. She didn't resemble Mia's father in any way. Her house was like Mia's grandmother herself: simple, lucid and extremely tidy. There was almost no personal stuff, no photos, and no books. Mia wondered how it was possible that someone has not even one book. Mia came into the apartment, Aunt Renata just quickly said "Good bye", and then, the aunt was gone. Mia was delivered like a postal package.

Grandmother said with her squeaker' voice:

-Good morning. Your room is over there. There are three rules in this house and as long you live here, you will have to follow them. Rule number one: you keep quiet and no unnecessary talking. Rule number two: you keep your room and this house tidy. Rule number three: If you would like to say something, raise your hand.

Mia never raised her hand. Grandmother had her opinion about her and Mia knew it won't change. She had been living with her aunt Renata for almost three years and she had the same rules. Her grandmother was raging when she saw books. Mia didn't know why, but grandmother hated books. Mia tried to read somewhere else, in libraries or in parks, or in the streets of the cities she was living in.

Did her grandmother love her? Mia wasn't sure. The only thing she was sure of, her grandmother should not be in Jonas's hands, even though she seemed to be happy about it. She had a simple room without books. She seemed to be another person since she was living with Jonas. She was saying full sentences. She was asking Mia how her life is going. It was weird. Maybe it was the opportunity to make a step forward? Mia wasn't sure. She wondered why she could feel at home here and nowhere else. Up to now there was nowhere warm. Up to now.

#73 CHEEK TO CHEEK

They were sitting on the veranda in cosy wooden cots. Mia was drinking her tea. Earlier he brought her a blanket and covered her so that she wasn't feeling cold.

-And what about you? Don't you need any blanket? – Mia asked with sorrow. It would be silly if he would tremble now just because of this wetness and freshness outside.

-I don't feel temperature. It doesn't matter to me. – He smiled.

-So you can read minds, emotions and states of condition, you can run faster than the wind, you don't care about temperature, you live almost eternal and you can handle energy. Did I miss something?

Mia counted with her fingers.

-That's not all. – He laughed.

It was very impressive how Mia could stay so relaxed after his last answer. She didn't shrug. Only her eyes opened a little bit more. The green of her pupil was even more intensive than a second ago.

-I can do seven things.

-Wow... – She was flabbergasted and for the first time she was in fact speechless.

-The sixth skill is quite easy to show. And I don't even have to explain it. – Julian said. Then he disappeared. She looked around, but he wasn't there.

-Mia, that's it.

She heard his voice, but she couldn't see him.

-You're just too fast, I can't follow you with my human eyes.

She answered and underlined "human" in the way he was always using this word. Julian maybe didn't notice, but he was always saying the word "human" with some special emphasis. The same case was when he was using the word "people". It wasn't disrespectful, and it wasn't negative. It was just a special way to point out the difference. He wasn't a human being.

-No, I am not moving at all. I am still sitting next to you.

-Right. - She didn't believe it and was still looking around.

-It is all about energy. Energy itself is not visible and that's why I can be visible or invisible when I want. It is as well a skill that I had to train before I was allowed to live among people.

-And can I touch you when you're invisible?

He was quiet. She didn't hear anything. She turned her head in the direction where he was sitting and she didn't see him. He wasn't there. Then she felt his hands at her face. He was touching her cheek. Then he kissed her forehead, and nose, and left cheek, and right cheek, and finally he gently kissed her lips. She felt his lips, but she wasn't able to see him.

She closed her eyes and tried to feel him with other senses.

-I can smell you.

-You can't. –He smiled.

-Of course, I can.

-Show it to me. I will stand here somewhere on the veranda and you will find me, if you can smell me. Deal?

-OK. –She nodded with self-confidence.

He jumped some steps away, but he was too faint for her.

She stood up and looked around. It was amusing for him to see her going into the wrong direction. He would laugh right now, but then she would hear him. Finally, he wanted to give her a chance. She was moving slowly and as she went four steps into the wrong direction, she turned around and made some slow steps on the right track. He was leaning on a veranda's pillar and observed her with interest. She put her hands into the pockets of her jeans and went slowly into his direction.

Mia was on the right course. She didn't show that she was looking after something or somebody. If somebody watched her right now, this person would see a girl walking quite slowly on the veranda. She was determined and sure of what she was doing. She came to the place where he was standing, but she walked on. She didn't notice him. He didn't change his position and she passed him by. He smiled. He won. She couldn't smell him. As she came to the other end of the veranda, she turned around and said disappointed:

-Ok, I can't. I was sure for a moment, but now I can't. Julian, where are you?

He came to her and took her hands in his hands.

-I am here.

She couldn't see him, but she felt his touch. She smiled.

-Did you do this often when I didn't know that you are there?

He smiled. It was his secret and it should stay his secret forever. So he said:

-No, barely.

-You're a liar. - Mia laughed.

-You're right. I was by your side almost all the time. At least during the time you were here. I have been following you since I met you in front of the zoo. And I will stay with you forever.

-OK, but please be visible again. It is strange to talk with air.

He appeared before she even winked with an eye. He was smiling. Then he kissed her.

#74 THE LEGEND SPREADS

-Is your family able to see you, when you're invisible? –Mia asked snoopy when they were sitting in the cots again. She had so many questions and wanted to know everything about him. Julian was simply fascinating.

-No, when I am invisible, nobody can see me. My family can feel that there is possibly someone around, because we can feel the energy. However, they cannot see me, if I don't want them to. They could even have problems to sense the source of energy. They cannot locate me precisely. I could even block them. On the other hand, it is quite hard to block myself from my family. I never did it. I tried, but I didn't manage it. It is a case of higher concentration, you have to have a strong will to do it, and I guess I would have to practise it more often. You can ban your thoughts and energy for other beings as well as you can absorb energy and thoughts of other beings. I know that your level of energy is not optimal, but it has become better now. I have been sending you energy from the very first day I brought you here and you're doing better. I can see it. I couldn't send you any energy, if I had banned myself, because when you do it, you can't make any exception. It is hard to explain, but it works just in one way. You can't have two things at once, even if you have more skills than others.

-How often do you see your family?

Julian looked at trees, which were still getting wet. He needed a while to continue.

-I am here, in Poland, since 1935, I think. I am not sure. If you have as much time as you need, you don't really count every year. It is just as if you would say that our date is at 8 pm tonight and I would be there already 5 minutes earlier than agreed. The same is here. I said I will go to Poland and I just did it. I build this house and went here and there every now and then. This country won its independence some years ago and it was proud of it. I could see many people, not only Polish citizens, in the streets. It was a multi-cultural state. Some years later, Germany attacked Poland and World War II started. It was horrible. People died in mass murders. People fought. People killed each other. I saw it all and couldn't believe how it was possible. How are human beings able to repeat their human sins again and again? It is always the same.

-And you couldn't step in? You have so many skills; you could have saved some of them. – She was somehow angry and disappointed. – You didn't do anything.

Mia was visibly disappointed.

-Mia, it is hard to explain, but I already said that we had our pact with the humans and we are obligated not to influence people's history. Every human being has its own will. Whether it is a good will or bad will, it is still his or her free will. Neither my family nor I were responsible for this massacre. If humans make mistakes, then it is their business. People should finally learn from their own failures. In addition, I went through the country and helped as much as I could. I gave hope to people who were fighting against terror, I warned them while they were sleeping, I told them where they should not go, and I told them not to give up. I accompanied them while they were dying. I wasn't allowed to meddle, because it wasn't my war. I wasn't here for them.

His voice was cold and clinical. There were no emotions when he was talking about war.

-Why did you come to Poland? – Mia was irritated. She hadn't thought it would be so hard to hear that he hardly did anything to help. He could have done so much more!

-I was looking for a specific person. In fact, this person was born in the 1980's. I didn't know exactly that it would take almost half a century to stay here.

He looked her into the eyes and waited until she was more relaxed again.

-Mia, I think I have to tell you the story from the very beginning. So don't think about what I just said and listen to me, OK?

She nodded.

-In the ancient times, we were travelling from village to village and from city to city. In my family, there are no children, parents, and grandparents. My family doesn't look like a human family. There are older ones and younger ones, but we are all equal. There are the two wisest of us who know every answer to every question, but they don't speak. They exchange information between them and nobody is able to get into their minds. They were always looking old and according to our legend, they were on earth from its very beginning. They were the ones who made the pact with the humans. They talked with every sovereign on earth and they determined that we wouldn't barge in the free will of human beings. Moreover, people should not be afraid of us. We didn't want anything in return. We had superior forces, but we wanted to live in peace and to let live others in peace. We didn't want to be seen as monsters. At that time, there wasn't even such a word like "monster" or "behemoth" or anything like that. It came up later. At that time, earth was a paradise and everything was perfect. Everybody was equal. Every one of us took a human name and in this way it was possible to talk to people and they could address their wishes or sorrows to us as a group or individually.

Julian spoke normally, sometimes he became reflective and then, he stopped talking for a moment, starred at a point somewhere between trees and only after a while, he continued.

-One of our family started to doubt this pact. – Julian groaned with regret and continued in a more clinical tone. - We, as you already know, have some powers. In fact, we could use them easily. I exist as what I am and you, born as a human, exist as who you are. So there was this one, he was Philotheos which means "friend of god" in Greek φιλος (philos) "friend" and θεος (theos) "god". He was against this pact and talked to our Wisemen about it. He argued we should enslave people and rule over them. The Wisemen were not happy about this attitude. We already had everything we wanted and we didn't need people to be our slaves.

Mia took her breathe in. It was a scary vision.

-And then Philotheos disappeared. – Julian said. - Some days later, we received bad news. We came to a village and found out that every single inhabitant got killed. It wasn't a natural death. Their energy was sucked until they died. Men, women and children were murdered. Moreover, the news spread and people became scared of us. They started to honour us as real gods in the meaning, which you know already from ancient stories.

His voice became more serious.

-And people don't only have a free will, but their imagination as well. So, it didn't take long until people had their stories about gods, which were living among them. They knew our human names and made up their stories.

Julian was thinking about something, his forehead was wrinkled, his eyes were empty.

-Our Wisemen were the only ones who didn't have a human name and it is impossible to translate their names into any human language, because there are many meanings involved. The first one is "The One Who Is the Light, Enlightenment, Solution" and the second one is "The One Who Is Everywhere". It is quite hard to explain their names, because there are more meanings there than I already mentioned. In addition, the Wisemen told us there is the third Wiseman who is "The One Who Is Every Time". They were looking for him, because from the moment on they would meet all the three of them, the world would become a paradise once again.

Our Wisemen said we have to hide and hope that these silly stories will fade away when people remember what we are really like. Unfortunately, Philotheos was among people, and he spread these stories, and refined them so, people started to tell fairy-tales about monsters, mutants, and other things, which are still popular today. There is always a good and a bad guy. There are angels and there is a devil. There are gods you want to meet, you pray to, and gods you wish never to meet. If you ever saw X-Men then you know how we felt about it.

Julian's face showed sorrows and he went on with resignation.

-We were not able to find Philotheos. Our Wisemen said that we had to extend our deal with humankind even without the participation of the humans. We promised ourselves two things. The first one was to hide our skills from people. We were not allowed to show anything that could make people think we are something else than human. Because people didn't trust us anymore, we were not obligated to help them to solve their problems. They had their free will and could decide themselves what to do. The second thing wasn't to influence people's fates, when they are not related to our fates. Generally, it is not allowed to push people in any way to make a decision we would prefer. The free will of every living being is the golden rule for us. - Julian was sad. - From that time on, we existed without people knowing that we are amongst them. You could ask why we need to live between human beings at all. We are already able to do so many things... –He took a short break. He was still looking at some point over the rainbow that was painted over the sky now.

-The simplest answer is that earth is quite small. We can't hide between people and all this technological progress made the world smaller for people. For us, the world was a global village already from the very beginning. – He smiled.

Finally, he was smiling again.

-But the more important issue is that we can learn from people as well. Some of us want to learn and therefore, we accompany selected persons and with their experiences, we gain some understanding as well. We want to identify ourselves with the world and therefore we need to understand it better. Some of us stayed unsociable and they occupy themselves with wild animals and live somewhere in a wild nature, far away from people.

Julian looked at her and smiled sadly:

-That's principally the most sensitive of us who try to forget how they had suffered when people start to doubt us. They try to find acceptance and forgiveness in their own way.

He stood up and clapped his hands.

-In fact, my life would be boring without humans.

Julian smiled and waited whether she would smile back. Mia did.

-That's the short version of our family history. I think – he started with a very different, more joyful tone – we should go inside. It is cold, and you're trembling.

Julian was right. It was fresh outside. Even though the sun still there, the long rain made the air damp and cold. Her hair stuck to her face and the blanket was getting wet from the dampness in the air as well.

She stood up and went inside. Julian offered another cup of tea and she was glad that he was so attentive. She stayed in the room with the paintings and watched them with interest once again. When he came back, she pointed at the painting with Venice on it and asked:

-Is it an original painting of Canaletto?

He smiled with satisfaction.

-Yes, indeed. I won it.

-How come?

-Oh, it's a long story. – He said with a funny fire in his eyes. – It was a bet and I won it. It was the time when I was in Italy and went from city to city and someday I met him at a small Italian market. We started to talk and he mentioned he's a painter. Therefore, I wanted to see his paintings. He was very pleased that someone is interested in his work and as I saw his art, I said, it won't work. His paintings were small, but interesting. Rich people at that time didn't appreciate minimalism. They wanted to show their fortune. I advised him to paint the same motive but on a greater scale. He doubted. Therefore, I bet with him that it will be his way to success. I ordered a painting, which should have been large-scale. He accepted it although he wasn't so convinced. But he did it. I dropped in from time to time to see how he was working, sometimes he saw me, sometimes not. It is always so fascinating to watch people with passion. And he had this creative enthusiasm inside. So, one day, I brought a nobleman with me and as he saw Canaletto's work, he wanted to have such a painting too. He ordered the same motive: vedute of Venice. Canaletto was so grateful that he admitted he lost the bet and he gave me his first large-scale painting. He was a very interesting person. He was lovely. He had such temperament when he was talking about colours and light and it was impressive how much enthusiasm he brought into life.

Mia was flabbergasted. It was one thing to know that Julian was living since centuries, but it was weird to hear him talking about a painter, which she knows from a book only. This painter was dead for many, many years now.

-I like this painting, because it reminds me of the time I spent in Italy. You should really go to Italy one day. It is so absorbing to live there!

-I would like to go there. I would like to see more places in the world. Not only in Europe. – She admitted. – And this painting is splendid, magnificent. - Mia was still visibly impressed by the opus of Canaletto. - These colours and colour combinations are unique...

Then she looked at another painting and asked with a rogue's smile:

-Did you bet with Monet as well?

-No. I am a guy to bet all the time! However, I got it from Monet personally. I helped him to contact Paul Durand-Ruel, a French art dealer who is associated with the Impressionists. I loved the way they were spending their time en plein air, outside, and they worked with broken colour and rapid brushstrokes. They admired the nature and it was fascinating to spend time with them. It was fresh. I liked it.

-Do you prefer to meet painters? – She laughed cheekily and very cute.

-I never saw it like that. Creative people are fascinating to me though. They have some energy inside and they shine uniquely. They are like stars at night: they glimmer in the masses. I just spent my time with individuals I liked. In addition, I like nature.

-Is everyone in your family spending time with such extraordinary people?

-No, no. – He shook his head. – I spent my time not only with well-known people. By the way: at the time I met them, they were not even famous. They were at the beginning of their way to success. I just accompanied them. So, I helped them a little. If one knows what one wants to achieve and has his own, internal passion, I help, when I can. The same applies for other members of my family. Aoife, from the Gaelic word aoibh, which means "beauty", my so-called sister, helps people in their love matters. It is unimportant to know who you are: a queen, average citizen or a poor soul. Everything depends on how much you love someone. She reads people's minds and dreams and gives some tiny impulses to encourage them to act. Aoife is responsible for many love stories in Western and South Europe. When she sees that someone loves somebody very deeply, but has no bravery to act, she swaddles the ways of these two persons. Then, by so-called accident, they meet and it depends on them how the story goes on. Sometimes humans need just a little backslapping. Moreover, they have to pay attention to what they are wishing and hoping. Sometimes their dreams become reality.

Mia shook her head with approval. It was important to know what to wish for. Julian was right.

-And did you ever help in such case?

-In which case? – He looked at her with a question in his eyes.

-In love cases, of course. – She smiled shyly and was getting red.

-Oh. Yes, if it came along. But it is not my field of work. I am not good enough at this. – Julian explained shortly.

-But you can see emotions; you can read thoughts and wishes. Why is difficult then? – Mia wondered.

-You're right. – He admitted, but then he continued very seriously. - At the same time, it is more than just reading wishes and fulfilling them. Every person has his own free will and can act according to it. Sometimes your own wish is not the wish of another person, you are in love with. There's much more to consider. You have to get a certain feeling about these matters. Otherwise, you can cause more harm and damage than you do in fact help. Primum non nocere. - Julian looked into her eyes and she saw his doubts and sorrows. He was very serious. - First, do no harm. It is always the same question: can you take the responsibility of your acts and live with it? It is the same problem for us as for humans. In the end, we are quite similar. I am not the wisest being in the world. A human life for me is rather short, but still we have the same goal: to live in peace. The more power you have and the more time you have the more difficult the world becomes and the more responsibility you have to take on your shoulder. It is not as easy as it seems to be, Mia. I still wonder whether my last decision was right. Now I cannot turn back the time. It is impossible to undo it for me. There is just one being who is able to do it. You can turn back time, when you are faster than the time. The third Wiseman is the only living being with such skills. He can run faster than time. I can't. And that's why I have to stay on this course which I hope is the right one, but I don't have any clue where it will bring us. Moreover, the more I think about it, the more doubts I have about it. I am responsible for you. I am responsible for your life. I am responsible for the one I love and I have no certainty about what the future will bring.

Mia was standing in front of him, looking into his eyes. The blue ocean of his pupils was vividly changing its tone. He was deadly serious about it and he was in fact confused. He was struggling with himself and it wasn't an easy fight.

She stretched her arm and stroked his shoulder.

-It will be fine. My only wish is that we can stay together and if your sister can read it, hopefully, she would leave us alone.

-I hope so. Up to now, there was no such case in our family's history and we usually don't make any exceptions from our rules. Without these rules, we would have been discovered already a long time ago.

He pulled her into his arms and her head rested on his chest. Mia's heart was beating fast, but regularly. She was afraid too. There was a lot of new information about him and she had a chaos in her head. She had to sort this out inside and she needed time. She needed time to rework it. Julian felt her discord as well as she felt his conflict. He guessed that she needed some space and stepped back.

-Anyway I have to take care of one thing. Feel free. Mi casa, su casa.

Mia was surprised that he wanted to leave. She was wondering which thing he had to care of right now. She had so many questions, she wanted to ask. At the same time, she was pleased to be able to stay alone here and to think everything through. It was contradictory. She wanted him to stay and she wanted to be alone. It wasn't possible at the same time. In addition, she understood that he probably needed his space as well.

#75 SON OF A PREACHER'S MAN

He was a special being. He had some powers, which made him much stronger and predominant over every human being. It didn't scare Mia, because she was convinced that he was a good one. But she was nervous about these rules, which didn't allow avoiding conflicts and massacres like wars. It wasn't fair somehow. If his family was blessed with these skills, should they not be used for a common good? On the other hand, she also understood the reasons behind such behaviour. If people would know about the existence of such beings like Julian, they would be scared. People are scared about the forces of nature, nuclear power. Extraordinary skills, which Julian posses were great, but considering the circumstances and knowledge about human history and its failures Mia was convinced it could turn out even worse, if humankind was aware of Julian and his family. It was too complicated and she would never find the best possible answer.

A very important question now was, if it was possible that Jonas was one of Julian's family. Some of Jonas skills were similar to Julian's. He was extraordinary strong, he was extraordinary fast. However, he wasn't as fast as Julian was. In addition, Jonas apparently couldn't read minds, because he was always asking her questions and he wanted to get answers. But Julian couldn't read her mind, either. Maybe Jonas couldn't read her mind as well? Alternatively, maybe Jonas wasn't more than just an extraordinary human being and she was just over-rating it.

Mia sat on the couch looking at the paintings while she was floating in a boat on her sea of thoughts. She pulled her legs up and laid her head on her knees. With her right shoulder and right leg, she was leaning on the couch, a position that looked demanding and exhausting, but for her it wasn't.

She even didn't notice how late it was already. As Julian came into the room, she didn't notice him, either, although he wasn't invisible. He saw her sorrows in her eyes and was sure that it was him, who caused them. She should know that he wouldn't hurt her in any way. He stepped forward and saw a tear in her eye. He got scared that she was frightened because of him. He wished he didn't start to involve her into this situation. He was responsible for her and he should know that it wouldn't work. He regretted his decision to tell her the truth and it was written in his face that he suffered.

Finally, she saw him and before she even started to talk, he said seriously:

-I would everything to turn back the time; I should have never told you anything.

She was shocked.

-Julian, what are you talking about? – She asked.

-I see how hard it is for you to deal with it and that wasn't what I wanted. I never wanted to scare you or be a monster in your eyes. I never wanted to make you suffer. Please, forgive me. – And then he turned around and wanted to leave.

She jumped from the couch and ran towards him. She blocked his way, looking into his eyes.

-Julian, it is not what you are apparently thinking. - Mia looked scared. -If it's wrong to love you, then I am totally on the wrong way, but I won't step back. I am not scared of who you are, only worried to lose you.

She made half a step forwards and added:

-I don't know who you are, but I know that I love you. – Her voice was clear and didn't show any doubt. - I have nothing, if I don't have you. Therefore, don't you dare leave me here alone! I am taking you for what you are and I hope, I really wish, you take me for what I am. Even if I should die tomorrow, I will spend this time with you and consider it as my personal eternity.

Now, he was the shocked one. He didn't expect it. She really loved him. And she wasn't scared of him. Her wish was his command. He never felt as happy as now. A tsunami of happiness and luck overwhelmed him so suddenly that he almost lost his balance. The only thing he could say now was:

-I loved you first! I hope that our personal eternity will last as long as possible.

He was incredibly happy. She loved him. He loved her. There couldn't be anything better.

Julian hugged her and kissed her so vigorously that she lost her breath and the ground below her feet. It was awesome. If kisses were always like this, she could kiss him all life long! His soft lips ran down her neck and shoulders. Then he went back to her lips, cheeks and covered every millimetre of her face.

His presence made her feet so safe and so secure. She had broken her internal walls and was ready to meet him half way out there. He was opening up, too. They didn't realise how fast these torn down walls made it possible for them better understand each other. They were no strangers anymore and were able enjoy each other's presence. She loved him and with every movement of her body, she showed that she wanted to be in love with him. Julian was discovering something he had never felt before as well. Like a poet already said: One word can set us free from all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.

-So you take me for what I am, even if you don't know exactly what I am and how much future is waiting for you by my side. –He asked her and smiled.

-Yes. – She said determined. – I don't know where this power is coming from. I never thought it could be real. I have always thought it was written in books and captured in movies; I have never thought that I will be allowed to feel even one percent of what I feel to you now.

-So why were you so sad when I came back? – Julian asked quietly.

-Oh, that. – She didn't want to be remembered about her worries and she wasn't sure if she should tell him about them. She trusted him, but a voice within told her not to share it with him. First she needed to be sure if her idea was right, then she could tell him more about it.

He noticed she won't answer him, but it didn't matter.

-Just dance it out. I heard it helps. – He smiled.

She looked at him, not convinced about it. He took her hand and pulled her closer. She didn't oppose and let him guide. At the same time, Julian started to swing and to move her gently to the rhythm of the song, that unexpectedly started to fulfil the room. How did he manage to push the play-key on his hi-fi equipment? She wasn't sure. However, she heard Tina Turner singing one of her favourites songs ever:

Billy Ray was a preacher's son  
And when his daddy would visit he'd come along

Then, he pushed her softly aside and turned her twice slowly. He was looking at her all the time and she just let herself fall and let him guide her to the music. Tina Turner sung further more.

-How did you know that it is one of my favourite songs? – Mia was flabbergasted.

-I watched you talking to Sebastian and you mentioned it once.

Mia looked at him surprised. It was something different to hear his stories, and to see the energetic ball than to know that Julian could see everything she was doing with Sebastian. In fact, it was definitely not the time to think about it. She wanted to think about it tomorrow. Julian kissed her and continued to sing the song:

When they gathered around and started talkin'  
That's when Billy would take me walkin'

She smiled shyly and he watched how she was swinging alone.

Out through the back yard we'd go walkin'  
Then he'd look into my eyes  
Lord knows, to my surprise

He turned her once more and pulled her so near to his chest that she was almost on his body. They were swinging together. He mumbled the melody and took her into his arms. Finally, Mia lost herself in his arms.

#76 CAN'T HELP MYSELF

The following days were quite similar. They were going out in the woods or he took her to the lake. They barely spoke with each other. She was thinking about his story and he was caressing her. They were dancing between the trees or on the cliff near the lake. They were jumping on their way home and laughing a lot. Mia kept asking the same questions and Julian had to tell his family's story again and again.

Every evening when Mia was already lying in the bed, Julian stretched his hands over her and filled her body with the sapphire-like ray. She was watching happily and with joy how this sapphire-light went into her and fulfilled her. It was a very enjoyable and awesome feeling; it was like she would get an serotonin injection directly into her veins. Mia felt she had power and joy as if she would be a superwoman. Her cuts healed quickly and after these days, only scars remained.

She was completely healthy and strong again. She was even stronger than she was before. She wasn't walking: she was flying. She wasn't just smiling, she was a walking smile. She wasn't just laughing – she was the joy itself. She was so sorrow-less and sweet, cute, cuddly and neat whatever she was doing.

In addition, the happier Mia was the happier Julian was. He was overwhelmed by all the luck he got in these days. Suddenly everything he ever heard, read or saw about love became true, it wasn't just about empty words. It was fascinating, it was awesome, and it was so great that it was hard to believe it was real. But it was his life. It became a new quality and sense. Their love was unconditional and they knew it from the very beginning. They loved and desired every day even more and at the same time, they were wondering and enjoying how it was possible.

"You're just too good to be true, I can't keep my eyes off you" Julian sung and they were spinning around.

Sometimes he asked himself how he could live without Mia before. He was apparently expecting her all lifelong and right from the day he saw her, he was sure that she was the reason to live for. She was there; she came into his life and turned his world around. It seemed to him as if he had become a different being.

One evening, he said quietly, but serious:

-Nothing I could say to you could show you how I feel about you. There are so many thoughts inside my head. I don't know how to desire and love you more. I will be with you as long as you will allow.

Then he kissed her.

-Every time I close my eyes, I know you will be there when I wake up. – Mia said and tried to fall asleep. She could feel the heat of love inside her and it made life worth living! If you can say yes with the all of your heart, you have said all that can be said.

#77 HOURGLASS GLUED TO A TABLE

Once as he was giving her energy and she was observing the sapphire-like light, she asked him curiously:

-Julian, why is this light so wonderfully blue?

-It is because I have blue eyes. – He smiled back and moved his hands over her stomach.

-And how does it work?

-What?

-This whole thing with your energy. How do you absorb it?

-The entire world is full of energy. Every rock, every lake, every sea, every piece of air and every living creature starting with plants and ending up with human beings possess energy. My family never took energy from human beings. Apparently, you can absorb some individual skills of people in this way, but I am not sure. We never practised it. It was part of our agreement with humans. We didn't want to hurt them and taking their energy away is seen as a crime. People don't have much energy anyway. Furthermore, it would be very easy to take away their lives then. It is just as if you would come home after training and there would be just a sip of water in your house. You wouldn't be able to resist the desire to drink it all, it would be hardly possible for you to stop half way. Our Wisemen said it is impossible to stop and it is forbidden from the very beginning. The same is with animals. Nevertheless, there is much energy around us. Sometimes people say that a special feeling is in the air. It is energy. Some people can sense it more, some less. Nevertheless, with every step I take, I absorb the energy I need to live from earth and space, water, air and wind, and fire. In addition, we have another element, namely time. Time is our Fifth Element. People underestimate time and we value it a lot.

-When you share your energy with me, is it consequently possible that I will get some of your skills, even in a small scope? – She asked hopefully.

-Unfortunately, it doesn't work this way. We barely tried it. Sometimes we are helping people who are dying by giving them an illusion of being happy. I can put my hand on your shoulder and some of my good vibrations would come over you. I can take your hand and it will be the same way. Unfortunately, we never do such transfers like I am doing here with you in. I heard it is possible. My energy causes that you heal faster. My energy causes that you feel better. My energy causes that you go out of your natural balance and you could explode.

Julian was very sad as he spoke it. He tried to stay calm and serious, but his emotions were present in his voice. Mia felt how he was suffering just because of thinking about it again.

-It is like a chewing gum balloon. It has its limits. It can happen that it explodes sooner or later. You, as a human, can't foresee it. I can. Unfortunately, in your case, you are a riddle for me. You are the only one I ever dreamt of and I would risk everything to save you. I didn't think about consequences. I didn't think at all. I reacted emotionally and it should have never happened. I broke my rules because of my selfish wish to keep you alive. I couldn't let you fade away and be another candle in the wind. I cannot estimate how much energy is good for you. In that moment, I helped you, I didn't want to lose you. I risked your life. I risked your life, Mia.

Julian tried not to look her in the eyes. He was ashamed. He felt like a betrayer. He was risking her life and could hurt her.

Mia stroked his cheek.

-Julian, don't think about it. During these days I spent with you, I felt more alive than in my whole life.

Julian shook his head briefly and continued. He wanted to get over with it.

-I heard from my family that it was possible to heal people. Some of us are involved in this area, healing people. They are much older and more experienced than me. I saw their practise already in a jungle of America and in deserts of Africa. When one of us helps people in this way, he is definitely walking on a thin line. It is not easy to decide if you should let someone live longer. We don't know our fates and we don't know fates of people, either. Healing you with my energy is another broken rule. It was my first time. So far, I only accompanied people, who were dying with a smile on their faces. I helped people in depressions to stand up again and to live on. My energy makes you heal faster and better than you would under normal circumstances. It makes you happy and it fulfils you. However, you are a human and you will stay a human. I am what I am. I will not change either. I can keep your company as long as you live.

Julian looked out of the window and stars lighted up the sky. He wanted to say more, but it was too hard for him. He was visibly moved, sad and heartbreaking.

-So, I will be older and older and die one day and you will barely change in this time? –Mia asked with a trembling voice.

He took her in his arms and said serenely:

-Mia, we all have our destination. We can influence some processes, but we cannot influence the circle of life. I am growing older as well. However, a human lifetime is in average 60-80 years and mine is much, much longer. When I was young, I was looking like a child. We look similar to people. Therefore, I am growing and getting older like every living creature. My autumn of life will come someday.

She was really sad. Her whole life was less many than his wink of an eye. She didn't even get her five minutes in his 24 hours. Now she was afraid of getting older. She couldn't imagine to be as old as her grandmother and to still have him by her side then. How would it look like? He wouldn't love her anymore.

-Mia, nothing in this world will change my love for you, but I cannot change the world in the way I would like. Nobody knows where and when we might end up, but I will stay at your side. – Julian said and kissed her sensitively. She smiled, but inside there were many tears and doubts about such a creepy future. If her inner voice was right, she wouldn't achieve her 70th year of age. There was Jonas who standing in her way. Mia didn't know what to do right now. She was in fact anxious.

#78 HANDS OF TIME

Once as they were in the woods, she asked what his last special skill was.

-This is the most extraordinary one I think. At the same time, it is extraordinary complicated to explain it. – He started.

Mia looked at him with interest. She had no idea what to expect. What else could there be, if he was already fast, strong, able to read minds and emotions, absorb energy from the nature, be invisible, and was somehow immortal? What was the most extraordinary skill?

They were lying in the grass and he stroked her arm.

-It is about time. I can make it pass slower.

Mia was flabbergasted. It topped everything up to now. She was convinced that she was living in a very beautiful dream and that she would have to wake up soon. She wanted to keep on dreaming. She wanted to stay here, by his side, and let him tell fairytales until the end of time. It was her paradise between the earth and the blue moon.

-It is as if you would see everything in slow motion, if you want to. It is hard to explain how it works, but it is possible. – Julian tried to give details, describe her the way he saw the world in slow motion, but it was extremely difficult for him to find the right words.

He thought it over and over and then he finally said enthusiastically:

-If you imagine a cheetah on a road, that is able to accelerate from zero to 110 km/h in three seconds, faster than most supercars, and next to him a snail at the start line, and then the race begins. Of course, the snail will not be able to realise how fast a cheetah is and the cheetah will disappear from its view in less than a second. At the same time, the cheetah will not realise the slowness of the snail and even if the snail starts to move forwards, the cheetah will not notice it, because the snail is too slow and seems not to be moving at all. A human now, will see the snail moving as well as the cheetah, but in the end, a human will not be able to follow the cheetah with the eyes all the way, neither be patient enough to observe the snail for all the time. However, I can observe both of them in exactly the same quality. I can see the cheetah running in slow motion and the snail moving in a fast-motion. In the end, it is the same length of race, but in a different speed.

Julian was very glad to have found an appropriate comparison. Mia was still flabbergasted.

-And is there anything what you are not able to do? –Mia asked sulkily and spitefully.

Julian smiled. She was getting cheeky. And he liked it. Then he thought about her questions and said seriously:

-I can't turn back the hands of time. I can observe the happenings in every speed I would like, but I can't turn back the clock.

-Is it even possible? – She asked curiously.

He looked her into the eyes, calm and reserved.

-If you want to change the time, you have to run back faster than the time. Our Wisemen said that the third Wiseman has got the power to be anywhere and anytime he wants to be. He is the time himself. He is the most powerful and most important creature on earth. We have a saying: If you rule over the time, you rule over the world. But up to now, my family is still looking for him, without success though. Some of my family say that he is just a legend and nothing else. Some of my family believe in him and hope to meet him one day. Humans have their gods and we have the Third Wiseman.

-And what do you think about him?

-I am not sure. I would like to meet him, of course, but I doubt that this wish will be fulfilled. Otherwise, now I know that everything is possible and those who dare to dream overcome impossibilities. Right?

Julian looked more like a person, who was telling fairytales than serious stories. He tried to cheer Mia up with a smile. She seemed to be lost in thoughts. Her eyes were wide open but she didn't look at something in particular. Maybe she was imagining right now how to be faster than the time or maybe she was thinking over cheetahs and snails. Julian wasn't sure. All he knew was that he told her stories that no human being had ever heard and this could end badly for her. She was his Julia, he was her Romeo and Julian once again had a feeling that there would be no happy ending. He carried this feeling somewhere inside but tried to ignore it. There had to be a solution. Otherwise, they were two unfortunate souls lost in time.

Then, they fell silent for a while, both following their own thoughts. They needed a moment to find their inner peace.

#79 EVERY YOU AND EVERY ME

While Mia was eating her dinner, Julian watched her very carefully. He looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't dare to speak out loud.

She smiled and raised her eyebrows.

-What? – She asked finally.

-I would like to ask a question.

-You don't need my permission. – Mia said stunned. She already knew it would be something concerning her family. So far, they had been busy talking about him his story. Now it was her turn.

-What's with your family?

Mia didn't move, but her body rapidly became tense.

Julian noticed it of course, but he didn't show it in any way.

-I don't have family. – She said after a short while. She didn't look at him and her eyes didn't show anything.

Julian knew it already from following Sebastian's thoughts. Mia was an orphan. But she had to have someone to live with. She had a tragic past but it was hidden from him.

-What happened? – He said, in a calm voice, sad and quiet.

-It was an accident. My parents died when I was three years old.

She said it with one breath and she still kept looking at something without seeing it.

-What happened? – He repeated his question.

-They were murdered. – She didn't move and she didn't look back; she was like a violin with steel strings that were tense up to maximum.

-Oh. – He was noticeably shocked. He didn't expect it. What he was expecting was a car accident or something like this. Surprisingly, a murder didn't come to his mind, although it was indeed possible.

-And your further family? – He asked after a longer break.

-I don't have any. – She lied without any reason.

The words just slipped her tongue and she was shocked how she could say something she didn't intend to say. She wanted say she had just the grandmother, but there were different words coming out of her mouth. She was surprised and at the same time, she couldn't move. Something was holding her shoulders and forced her to remain sitting on her chair. It was her voice, it was her words, but it wasn't her intent. It was as if something with an own will was inside her, using her to communicate. It was a strange feeling.

Julian saw her uncertainty of emotions and her confusion. He put it down to bad memories and apparently, she wasn't able to speak freely about it. He didn't force her. Later on in another occasion he would ask more questions, now it was better to drop this topic. He left her sitting in the kitchen. Her thoughts kept spinning around the question why she had lied to him. She didn't mind having done it; the words just came out. She should tell him the truth as soon as possible. He was honest to her and she just plainly lied to him. It was rude, it was tricky, and it wasn't her.

Her inner voice tried to calm her down, but it didn't work.

She was still on edge and irritated, too. Later that night, when they were lying in bed, she tried again to tell him the truth, but she couldn't speak aloud, she just stuttered the beginning of her sentence and couldn't say more than "I... I...".

-Hush, hush. – said Julian who was lying next to her, caressing her

Mia gave up and closed her eyes. She was desperate. She was terrified. She couldn't understand what was going on. Maybe this was the reason why she slept very unsettled. He was watching her and considered to ask. Julian had already seen many traumatised people. He was sure she was one of them. They will have to work this out eventually. Now, she should just rest and sleep well.

Quietly he mumbled a song into her ear, which relaxed her. Her breath was regular and she didn't move much anymore. Mia turned to him while sleeping and laid her hand on his shoulder. He was lying on his right side, whispering the same song all night long.

#80 COLD-PLAY

-Tomorrow is Monday. – Julian announced when she was having her dinner.

-Oh. – She didn't realize how quickly the time had passed by. She was here already more than a week and it felt even longer. Somehow, she had forgotten about school, about Warsaw, she had forgotten the entire world while being with him.

-I guess I have to go to school then. – She said unhappy.

-If you would like to, you can move here and I will bring you to school every day and pick you up in the afternoon. – Julian said and observed her reaction attentively.

Mia's smile vanished. She was visibly pleased by this suggestion, but she wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't normal for a teenager to live with somebody who doesn't belong to your family. Although she didn't care what people would say, because people didn't know anything about her, even where she was living, it appeared to be too unusual to approve it. She grew up in a rather traditional Catholic country. Although Mia didn't care about the rules of the church, she always tried to be a good person. It wasn't her grandmother who taught her this, Mia had her own principles, which she followed.

Not that she didn't like the idea. It would be great to live with him, to spend every free minute with him, to fall asleep by his side and to wake up next to him. What they were doing wasn't forbidden. They just kissed and he stroked her arms, face or hair. There was nothing else of a physical nature. He was very attractive. And his touch was unbelievably desirable. However, they didn't go on. Now wasn't the time. Now wasn't the moment. Although, mentally they had already gone miles further. Spiritually they were already connected with a love truck for the eternity, echoing in her head every single minute. She felt with every cell of her body that he was the one and only, her Mr. Right and Mr. Forever.
It was a huge decision. She couldn't out the advantages and disadvantages right now, or the consequences that would follow. She remembered that she had to go to Jonas and it would be much more difficult when she wasn't in Warsaw. Mia didn't want Julian to know about Jonas as long as she wasn't sure who Jonas really was. She wanted to pay Jonas a last visit and explain everything. She had to be sure about him. It would be so easy if it wasn't a poker game and if the cards were lying open on the table. Only then, she could tell Julian about this side of her life. She had to stay in Warsaw and that required living in her apartment. It required living alone. It wasn't possible for Julian to move to her, because of all these cameras Jonas had installed. She didn't want to give Jonas any information about her without her own, conscious decision.

-OK, Mia, my little princess, don't bother. It is OK. It was just a thought. – He laughed freely.

However, inside Julian wasn't so glad about it. If it would be up to him, he would have her by his side day and night. Does love always require seeing the desired one with your own eyes? Did this feeling of needed possession belong to love? She was the sixth element he needed to live.

-Mia, you're the only one I want in my life and I will do anything you want. I won't push you to decide anything. We have plenty of time, believe me.

It was so ridiculous to go to school tomorrow and to attend the lessons instead of spending time with him. Julian could teach her much better about history than any books or any teacher. He could teach her more about arts and philosophy than she would learn at school. Nevertheless, an obligation is an obligation. She had to go to school and lead a normal life the way it was before she came here. Nobody should know anything about her relationship with Julian. Nobody should notice any difference.

With this decision she went upstairs. She could stay here at weekends, but during the week, she had to be in Warsaw. If he didn't mind, of course.

As she was already lying in his arms, she said quietly:

-Julian, would you mind if I stay at – she wasn't able to call her apartment her "home", so she added quickly – in my Warsaw apartment for now?

-No, if you prefer that. It's all right.

-When will I see you then? – Mia worried aloud.

-I will pick you up after school at Friday.

-OK. – She answered slowly and unhappy.

Five long days without him until Friday. Mia started to miss him already now. She didn't allow herself to ask why he wanted to meet her only on Friday. In addition, he wondered a little that she didn't ask it. If she wanted to stay away from him during the week, it was hard, but it was still OK. He had no wish to go to her apartment, because it was so weird. It didn't look like home and all these cameras were suspicious. On Monday when she was at school, he wanted to find an answer to this question that bothered him since he was in her apartment: why did she need these cameras?

He needed to find something to occupy his mind during the rest of the week. Julian wasn't sure what to do. Maybe he should visit Sebastian? They didn't see each other for a long time and it was a good opportunity to meet. Actually, Julian didn't want to visit his friend. Julian knew that his fellow had some feelings for Mia and now, this information was even disturbing. Julian knew he should not lie to his friend, but he didn't know how to tell him that Mia was the love of Julian's life. Sebastian could say the same and it wouldn't change anything. It would only worsen their relationship and he didn't want this. He wanted Sebastian to be his best friend and nothing could risk this friendship. If it was required to keep the relationship with Mia in secret, then it had to be this way.

Sebastian was now the only person, who could bring Julian into trouble. It was Julian's task to protect Sebastian and to watch over him every night and day. He took this task on and his family approved it. If something would go wrong, then someone of his family would come and visit Julian to find out what happened and they would realise that Julian not only messed up Sebastian's case, but also that Julian had a relationship with a human. Moreover, it wasn't just some unimportant or trivial relationship. It would be enough for his family to judge it, and this decision wouldn't be in any way good to Julian and Mia.

While thinking about it, Julian noticed that Mia was already asleep. They were now pure unfortunate souls, fighting against two different worlds. They already found themselves in a hopeless lost position and somehow they both felt it one way or another. It couldn't end well. They were waiting for come what may. Julian knew that he would follow her into the dark. Moreover, he knew that Mia would do the same. She was strong enough. They needed it. In fact, it was a road to perdition.

#81 WORLDS APART

Next morning Mia woke up and saw him staring at her. He was sad. He smiled and tried to look happy, but she felt his hidden unhappiness. She wasn't happy either. She felt like being banished, like doomed. Going back to Warsaw made her feel bad, but she didn't want to go wild now. Mia didn't want to eat and she didn't want to drink a cup of tea. She didn't pack her clothes. She left them here, as if she would be sure to come back here on Friday.

She dressed with the top, which he gave her some days ago, and which she did has not worn so far. Mia knew it would be a pleasure for him to see her with it. She was right. He looked at her with admiration and satisfaction. This top was like the one of Nelly Furtado in Promiscuous, bright and creamy, but quite longer and reached up to her hips. It was loose and had many flounces. In addition, it suited her jeans perfectly.

Mia looked beautiful, but her eyes were sad. She didn't want to leave her fairytale and go back to the reality. She tried to look happy and satisfied, but her eyes were dashed off. Julian noticed it from the very beginning and he felt the same way. He already missed her. It was so natural to adapt to the good coming into his life and it was so hard to say goodbye. Maybe it was his personal punishment for not appreciating every day so far. With her by his side, Julian got to know how precious time was.

Julian watched her, while she was eating toast with jam. She tried to let the time pass slower, too, but she wasn't able to realize it. Her moves were fluently, but unhurriedly. He wanted to remember every detail of her – sitting at the table and making a battle of persistence with her cup of tea. Later, as Julian opened her door to his car, she was calm. While they were on the road, they didn't talk. She still had some questions for him and he would happily know more about her. There were so many unspoken matters in the air that you could easily catch them. They felt the increasing gap between leaving the past and standing up for future. It was a strange feeling, as if they would walk slowly along a border. Unfortunately, there was no time for them. With every breath of Mia, they came closer to the end of a chapter that should never ever end.

Julian held her hand all the time and he didn't notice that she had fever. She was already healthy because of his special sapphire-like ray therapy, but now she was so worried that she had a headache, which caused her fever. She wondered whether he would notice it by the colour of her shell. So far, he didn't say anything.

He was driving too hasty and she couldn't make out where they were, because the pictures were changing too fast. His Mustang wasn't just fast; it was fast and furious, wild like a real mustang, although it was a high-speed machine. Julian overtook every car on the road and if she didn't know that he knew what he was doing she would think he was a mad and sick person.

She tried not to concentrate on the road, because she felt upcoming sickness. Everything was passing by too fast. She was staring at her hand, that was laying on her knee. After some minutes, they already reached Warsaw. Julian slowed down visibly. Now she was able to look outside and see the buildings, trees, and every part of this city. Warsaw was waking up, but it gave a wary impression. Everything was so lazy leaving behind the last weekend and dopey coming into a new week. It didn't take long and Julian stopped in front of the building where her apartment was. He said he would wait for her and take her to school. She should just take her school stuff. However, she denied.

-Julian, I will manage it on my own now.

He didn't answer and she closed the car door. Then he drove away very fast. She looked after him and although his car was already gone, she kept staring at the point where she had seen it for the last time.

It was early in the morning. She felt so lost like never before. She felt so unreal in this reality. A piece of her was captured in another world. She felt like a spaceman who flew over the moon and back. Now he left his spaceship, looked at the sleepy, grey world, and discovered it anew. He had lost all colours of the world in the universe behind him. Mia thought about Julian. Apparently, he didn't like that she wanted to go to school alone. If she would tell him the whole truth, she wouldn't have to feel this way right now. She was the one to blame for it. She turned back and went slowly towards the stairs. When she was in front of her apartment, she felt that something was wrong. Mia didn't know what it was, but there was something queer here. The colours of the world were still missing.

Finally, she stepped in and smelled some odd smell. She wondered what it was, but she couldn't define it. Maybe she forgot the smell of her own apartment. Or it was a new Mia, who came into this strange and unfamiliar apartment. She went into her room and took her school case. She noticed that the cameras were following her movements. She tried not to show that she was conscious about it. It didn't take long and she was outside again. Old Mia and new Mia didn't like this place. She had to go out, leave this place and set her free. Before she even noticed, she was on her way to school.

This week began horribly. It couldn't be worse – she thought when she sat on a bank in a park. It was too early to show up at school. She had plenty of time to use for nothing. She was angry. She had a feeling that something was going down the tubes. At least she hadn't any presentiment. This was the only good news.

#82 BITTER SWEET SYMPHONY

After school, Mia returned to her apartment and changed her clothes. She was so annoyed. The morning was horrible. At first, she had to apologise for her absence in the last days. She said, she forgot an excuse written by her grandmother. She should bring it the next day. Then she was in fact excused for failing homework, but her tutor criticized her for not getting in contact with anyone of the class to learn what she had missed.

She apologised politely. During the breaks, everyone was so loud and wanted to know where she was, but she just excused herself with her headache. Justyna wanted her advice in a love matter and Mia asked politely whether this could wait until the end of the school day. Justyna didn't appreciate this temporal refusal. Then one of the boys spoke to her, but she was deep in thoughts and didn't notice what he wanted from her. Mia was trying to figure out what was wrong with her apartment. She still couldn't find an answer and even worse: she couldn't find any trace. In addition, outside started to rain. The sky looked worryingly dark. It was depressive to be alone for so many days. It was so irksome not to be stroked by Julian, not to be looking at him and not talking to him. The world seemed to be an empty place without him. If it would only be Friday, Mia would start to enjoy waiting to meet him. She wasn't so far now. Here and now, Mia felt an increasing distance between a world with and without him. She was losing herself and felt like falling deeper and deeper into a scary place. Fears and doubts surfaced on her sea of thoughts and dominated the happiness, she had experienced during the last days. Mia's mind kept repeating that Julian wouldn't come back. He was so extraordinary and she was only human. Julian had powers, she could only dream of, and Mia was weak and complicated.

Overwhelmed by such thoughts Mia wasn't able to set her mind and heart free. She was a slave of her disbeliefs. She was a slave of this world without Julian. She desperately needed something to distract her from her voice within. It was hard to concentrate on what the teachers were talking about and in fact, schoolbooks were not as fascinating as Julian's stories. Nothing could compare with his experience and knowledge. Nothing could be more interesting to learn or to analyse. Automatically, Mia compared everything to Julian. How could this human world be better than the world of Julian's family?

Mia noticed that the lessons were over. Justyna was already nudging her impatiently. Already after maths class, Justyna had come to her with a new friendly smile. Now, Justyna wasn't smiling anymore. When she finally got Mia's attention, Justyna asked her for some advice in love matters. Mia nodded quickly, and Justyna explained her situation very detailed. There was a boy, who was one year older, and wanted to date her, but somehow he didn't admit it clearly and Justyna didn't know what to do. Mia tried not to start crying. How ordinary could be this possible couple? Therefore, being in love doesn't depend on who you are. The strength of emotions is always unique and hard to estimate. So, Mia forced herself to focus and ask some questions:

-Did you speak with him already? – Mia asked.

-No, of course not!

-So how do you know that he wants to date you? – Mia doubted.

They were standing outside in the school yard in little puddles because of the rain. Mia thought about the strength of her feeling to Julian and Justyna's first admiration and it was like heaven and earth. Mia was miles away and her classmate's problem seemed to be so small. Mia tried to focus on the basic level of Justyna's problem and to put Julian aside. Not everyone gets the opportunity to find the love of his life just like that. Some people had to wait and make some more experiences to find what they were looking for.

-I already told you that he was obviously smiling at me and then I got a message from Anna from our parallel class that he wants to date me. What am I supposed to do?

-It's strange. Wait until he asks you about it personally or ask him yourself. If he has not enough courage to ask you directly, forget it.

Justyna wanted to discuss about it more, but Mia shook her head, said politely "Bye" and went away. Somehow, she wasn't able to help solving such problems, because to her it wasn't a problem at all, not even the beginning of a problem. Finally, Mia got home. She changed her clothes and dressed into her sport clothes. She had to go out and run. She had too much energy and she needed to get rid of it. She had to think and she wasn't able to stay here in this apartment. This wasn't her home; it wasn't a place she would ever miss. She started to run and didn't care where she was running.

Mia felt the dampness in the fresh air as well as the pressure of her thoughts. She was overwhelmed by her doubts and the love she felt got more and more in the background of her sudden worries. Her internal trepidation was increasing and pushing all her positive emotions aside. She was unsettled and running didn't help much. She came to Lazienki Park and ran, ran, and ran. She didn't see anything around her. She didn't focus on what was around, she was only looking at the way. She started to doubt, again. All that was left of the last few days, even of this morning turned into a question. The only thing she was sure about was that she loved Julian unconditionally. Not all the other feelings were clear in her mind.

As she was running, she heard someone calling her name.

-Mia! Anna! Mia!

She stopped and looked around. She was shocked. Mia was surprised that she was so inattentive. In fact, she really couldn't focus. It was too much for her mind. Sebastian was coming from Jurij Gagarin Street. He was wearing sport clothes and jogged into towards her. She was irritated and happy at the same time. Somehow he was the only person, she didn't want to see right now, but when she saw him, she was happy about it.

Therefore, Mia was confused. This day was a disaster. It was even worse. The last thing she wanted right now was to run with someone through the park. She wanted to run, but alone. At the same time, she wasn't able to send him away. She missed him. He was the only normal person she knew and now she needed something as normal as possible. After all, he was her friend. He wasn't only a person to lean on, but also a person making leaning unnecessary.

-Mia, hello! – Sebastian greeted her enthusiastically.

-Hello. –She answered, but her voice wasn't as passionately as his voice was.

-I have not seen you for ages! Where have you been?

Mia remembered how long ago they met for the last time and was quite shocked how quickly time passed by.

-I had some things to do, and it was very chaotic. I am sorry that I couldn't contact you.

For Sebastian it was already forgotten, he smiled brightly and energetically. He was very, very pleased to see her. She was looking great, even if she was mixed up. He already knew she didn't talk a lot, and he wasn't surprised to be running with her without talking. She was fast, and she didn't seem to be tired at all.

Mia ran as if she was running away from something. It was his impression. She was focussed, but at the same time, she was puzzled. He observed her and she wasn't aware of him. She was just running. He had to try hard to keep up with her. Mia was really fast. It wasn't his speed, but he tried to keep up. The first sweat drops showed on his forehead. After the third round, he couldn't run anymore. He slowed down and fell into a walk. She didn't notice it, either. Only after a long while, she turned around and saw him many meters away. She sighed and ran back to him.

-Are you OK? – She asked concerned.

-Mia, you are simply too fast for me. I don't have so much energy like you do. – He admitted still breathing heavily. She didn't even seem to be tired. She was breathing shorter than normally, but still regularly.

-But how are you, really? You look messy. – Sebastian looked at her interested.

She was even more confused now. Was it so obvious? Mia wondered how bad she was keeping up her mask. During the last years, it was so much easier. Now everything became much more complicated than before. Before, she used to be on the run and she knew that the occurrences of her childhood would keep haunting her. It seemed to be very obvious situation. The status quo didn't change, because there were no new people involved. There was Mia and her grandmother and Aunt Renata. There was a man, a stranger, who was the cause of this drama. Nobody else stepped into this collection of souls.

Mia knew that status quo had changed. Maybe that was why she was so confused. She knew that the well-known battleground changed and now she had to handle this new situation. This was the reason why she was so scared. She wasn't able to plan anything.

-I? Messy? – She tried to overplay the real state of her heart and surprisingly it worked out. Sebastian doubted his first impression. – I just wanted to run.

Mia even managed to smile. Sebastian was happy with it. She seemed to be OK and not much different than he knew her so far. She was smiling and it was already a reward for him.

She was even looking happy for a moment. She had something in her eyes, showing her happiness. However, this happiness was just to find in her eyes. Nowhere else. Her face didn't vary, the smile wasn't brighter, and her posture didn't change. She was looking over Sebastian's shoulder and he automatically turned around to see what she was looking at. Then he felt her gaze back at him, so he looked back at Mia. Sebastian didn't recognize anything out there. Nevertheless, her eyes were still shining.

-So, do we continue to run together as we used to? – Sebastian asked with enough hope to bring her back onto the earth and the light in her eyes was gone. She was polite again. Her happiness was hidden under a calm surface.

-Sorry? – She asked, because she didn't pay attention to what he said.

-Do we continue to run together as we used to? – He repeated confused. Mia didn't see what was around her. For the first time he started wondering about this fact. She was different. She was happier. She was smiling.

-Ok. – She said automatically without thinking over it seriously.

She was looking for something between trees and it caught all her attention. Every now and then she tried to look at Sebastian, but she wasn't really present. She was relieved, but on the other hand, she was insecure as well. Every emotion was showing on her face, and in the corner of her mouth a smile was waiting. Her eyes sparkled like he had never seen it before. Her cheeks were a little bit red, but it could have also been caused by the running. She was looking gorgeous and elegant although she wore sport clothes. Her hair was flying in the wind and her curls drew a veil over her face. Sebastian wasn't sure whether it was real what he saw. She was different. She was much more human than until now.

Human was the word, which came to his mind first. Of course, she was a human being. Of course, she had human features, but now she was full of emotions and they came out of her and he could feel them. Until now, she was distant, even when she was smiling or laughing. She was more open and so less controlled now and he liked it much.

-So I heard that you're alone this week. Do you feel alone?

Mia mumbled something and then she looked back at Sebastian. She had no clue what he was talking about.

-OK, forget it. – He laughed an artificial laugh. –But if you need anything, I am there for you, as I am now here for you.

-Yes, OK. – She looked at him and smiled. She never had such a great smile like now.

He looked around once again when she didn't notice it, but he didn't see anything. There was nothing that seemed to be interesting or well known. There was no person, nothing happening, nothing suspicious or extraordinary, which he could see. He wondered why Mia was so excited, but the most important fact for him was that she seemed to be happy. Encouraged by her good mood Sebastian pulled himself together and raised a question.

-I will walk you home, if you don't mind. – He expected a positive answer.

Mia looked at him carefully, now she was all here, with him, and she kept on smiling.

Sebastian felt her negative response. She made a step towards him and Sebastian wanted to see how far she would go. Still, she wasn't ready to let him any closer much. She needed time.

Sebastian laughed and tried to hide his disappointment. He had been hoping for more. At least she promised to run with him again. He was convinced that it wasn't about running. She apparently liked him a lot, if she let him so close. Mia never mentioned her friends, and she barely mentioned her family. She only talked about books or history. She was mysterious and attractive. Mia was independent. She was the one who decided how much he should know about her. Sebastian had to spend more time with her to tame her. It was just a matter of time. It was his way of reacting in the case 'Mia'. She had to have a feeling of being safe, he had to give her the feeling that she was the one driving the direction of their relationship. But in reality it was him.

Mia said quickly goodbye and then she ran into the direction of the river Wisla. She had something determined.

Now she was like the wind. Mia ran and she was pretty fast. She was like a subtle, faint gazelle on African savannah. It was a pleasure to look at such a virtuous dynamism and grace. Sebastian missed her already now. At the same time, Mia passed the last trees and came to the river bank. She was looking around. She stood there alone. There were no people, no dogs, nothing. There was just a rumour of cars crossing the Lazienkowski Bridge. She looked for something with hopes, she looked for something she had seen before. Her heart was beating fast and with joy. It was a short moment of happiness. She knew what she saw and it fulfilled her with enormous happiness. In this moment, happiness meant knowing what to expect. Therefore, she could fight for her feelings, even if Julian's family should be against her. She would sacrifice her entire soul to feel what she was feeling right now: pure joy, pure thrill of her joyful heart.

The person she was expecting approached from the direction of the bridge. Julian was coming. He made quick steps into her direction. He was smiling shyly, but sovereign. He was focused to see into her eyes, to read her soul, even if she was so far away. The nearer he came, the slower he got. The smaller the distance between them was the more good vibrations were in the air like snowflakes during a cold winter day.

Mia stood without moving and waited. Even her breath held itself in her lungs. She smiled back. She waited and enjoyed the joyful happiness that grew with every step he made into her direction. He was just a few steps away from her and Mia could feel him already. Her heart was beating so rapidly that she thought it would jump out of her chest any moment. Julian was excited as well. If he had a heart, it would beat so loud that Mia would hear it even when he was still under the bridge.

-How did you know that I am here? – Julian was surprised.

-I saw you between the trees in the park and I knew you wouldn't show yourself among people. I just knew it. But how did you find me? – Mia was surprised, too.

-Did you already forget that I read minds? I saw you in Sebastian's thoughts. I was here as you started running. After a while, Sebastian appeared and I just stepped back. – Julian explained and smiled even brighter. He touched her cheek and stroked it twice.

Mia was very pleased about it. This was Julian, the one she loved. This was Julian, the one she had been missing all day long. His absence caused her lapse of concentration, bad mood and mad her want to speed up the time. Only now, Mia noticed that she had been counting the minutes and seconds without him. A day without him was a lost day. How did she live before she met him?

Then he kissed her. It wasn't only a kiss on her cheek. It was a passionate, almost fanatical kiss. He never kissed her this way before. It was a fire, burning up to heaven. It was a storm, overflowing the highest rocks at the coast. It was a free fall from an aeroplane. It was like walking on the moon and the sun at the same time.

Mia let herself fall. Mia jumped. She started to play with his hair and his hands were discovering her back. The sun was already going down and they were standing there, captured in a moment like in a fairy tale. It could have lasted forever.

-Would you mind going for a walk. – He suggested looking into her eyes.

-If we will go to the end of the rainbow. – She answered.

He hugged her even tighter and Mia almost lost her breathe. He couldn't hold her closer right now. Mia was trembling.

-Are you cold?

-A little bit.

It was already fresh outside and because they were standing at the river, it was even colder. Mia was only wearing her sport clothes.

-OK, it's not a problem.

Before she even could notice, she was already in his arms and they were on the way. Mia had no clue where they were going. After a short moment, they were on a street with jobs offering the best and well-known labels. Mia had never cared about brands. She had some clothes, she liked, and they were simple and inconspicuous. She didn't care if people were talking about her style, because the most important thing for her was to melt into the background. If you don't want to attract attention, you don't wear clothes that attract the looks of others or cause jealousy. You just take something comfortable and simple. That was her fashion secret. Now, she was walking embraced by Julian and he was leading her to a boutique, which she had never seen before.

They entered and the sales clerks were watching them attentively. They were visibly pleased by seeing Julian who was wearing fashionable clothes as if he would be a model coming from a Paris fashion show. He was perfectly styled and the girl next to him was just a sporty girl, without makeup. She was so ordinary next to this boy that it was a difference like day and night or water and fire.

Mia wondered what Julian was planning, and she felt embarrassed. She didn't like to attract attention and avoided such situations it as much as possible and now Julian was leading her here, through this boutique. She felt naked and lost, because she had never been into an expensive shop like this, but at the same time she could go everywhere with Julian by her side. It was like a fairy tale to see all these gorgeous creations here. However, she wasn't interested to wear such fancy clothes. She wouldn't feel comfortable in them. Nevertheless, Julian watched her very attentively, even more than the sales ladies. He noticed her admiration for fashion, but he wasn't sure about her reactions.

Mia could wear anything and she would look gorgeous. She had a good taste and liked art. However, she was definitely not looking for attention. She tried to stay in a shadow. She walked proudly and straight, but she didn't want to catch everyone's eyes.

-And how do you like it?

Julian pointed at a tunica. It was green and had no glimmer. At the same time, it had a nice cut and was glamorous. It would perfectly match her eyes.

-Julian, it looks stunning – she whispered to him – but it's not my thing. Would you mind to go somewhere else, please?

-Anything you want. - He said.

Mia laughed quietly. Then, he took her into a normal H&M, but she wasn't happy, either.

-Julian, I don't want you to buy me clothes. I have enough sweaters and jackets in my apartment. – She said.

-Mia, you won't go back to your apartment. – He said with pressure in his voice.

She was surprised.

-How come?

-I don't want you to stay in this apartment. – Julian was very serious. She had never seen him so serious before. - You're too important to me. I love you and I want to take care of you. I have to do what is in your best interest.

Julian smiled and his face lost the pure seriousness. Instead, he was looking lovely and warm again.

-I am selfish. I cannot let you out of my eyes for even a moment. Please, let me be by your side.

This idea was very tempting, but Mia had to think about Jonas. In such a moment, an intrusive thought about Jonas ruined almost everything. Her smile was gone and she wasn't ready to negotiate. Julian noticed her doubts and took it with coolness. He didn't expect a spontaneous positive reaction. Poland was Catholic and she had to follow her rules. It was obvious. He completely understood it. But Mia had to take care of her. She should not stay in an apartment observed by cameras; she should not stay in a house, which was no house. It was less personal than a hotel room. It was inhuman to live there alone. This apartment had bad energy and Julian felt it with all his senses.

-There are two alternatives, Mia. – said Julian decisively, and Mia sensed that the there was definitely no room for a third option. Julian already had a plan and it was impossible to change his mind.

-The first option is that you will live with me. The problem is that you have to go to school, you aren't allowed to drive a car and to travel to school more than an hour every day is inhuman. However, if you would like to I am open and ready to take you to school every day. It is no problem for me. I would like to do it.

Julian knew that she wouldn't accept it. He felt it, because of her former reactions.

-The second alternative is that you stay here, in Warsaw. I already talked with Sebastian and he agreed to take you for two weeks as a guest. I told him that I met you in the street and you told me that your family is going away for two weeks and that you are not so happy to stay alone. Sebastian thinks that he knows you better and that is why he suggested that you could stay with him for this time. When you would like to, you can stay there even tonight. However, you have to call and ask him. He was expecting this proposal when he was running with you. He thinks that you are so mixed up because of this situation.

-Was it really Sebastian's idea? – Mia doubted with a shy smile.

Julian smiled back and she already knew the answer. She had no chance to drift away from this plan.

-Where is the difference in staying with you or with Sebastian?

Julian smiled even brighter. She was in love, and at the same time, she could still think rationally. She wasn't blended. Her love was pure and unconditional, but not blind. Mia tried not to shake her head. She couldn't simply believe it. Julian seemed not to give her answers.

-Julian, I am very pleased about your protection. I love you, but I don't want you to change everything in my life.

She was afraid. She was really scared. This wasn't going in a good direction now. Julian didn't know Jonas and that was the reason why he reacted the way he reacted. If it would be so easy, she wouldn't take long to think about it. However, it was much more complicated. Here, in Warsaw, she was standing on the ground of facts and here she could feel her doubts around every corner. Moreover, she couldn't allow giving away the control over the situation. They were standing in a street and the lamps were already switched on. It was early evening and people passed them by in a hurry. It wasn't the best place for such conversation. She felt herself pushed into a corner and she wanted to escape. She couldn't tell him the truth. A voice within forced her to keep Jonas a secret.

-I don't know how I should convince you. – Julian said sadly after a while. – But I don't want you to be hurt by anyone. In addition, I have to keep an eye on you. Maybe it comes as a surprise for you and you see me as overprotective now. Please, understand that it is very important for me to see you're safe. Mia, if you care about me, please chose one of these options. I promise I will not ask anything else about you. You know enough about me to trust me. Please, please, trust me, Mia.

She understood his reasoning and saw his worries about her decision written into his face. She didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want to make him suffer. If she were he, she would do the same. At least she supposed that she would act the same way. She couldn't blame him. She couldn't send him away. All her life she used to be alone. All her life she had to be strong. Julian was able to take some of her responsibility away from her shoulders, if she only would allow it. Mia was so tired of being strong. She wanted to rest. She wanted to be happy and keep up her hopes. Even if Jonas should stay her nightmare for a while, Julian was the knight on a white horse who could save her from the dark. If tomorrow should never come, only this moment counted due to his care and her hope, rising from broken dreams.

She nodded after a while and didn't look at him as she said:

-But no more such surprises. No questions. No pressure.

Mia had too much to lose. She wouldn't ever forgive herself, if somebody would be hurt just because she took the wrong decision. She wasn't happy about this decision. She could lose Julian with her doubtful attitude. On the other hand, maybe she could save him in this way. Her inner voice told her to stay still. Internally, Mia was divided. Her heart screamed at her to tell him about her fears, about her history, about her doomed fate. Her inner voice was fighting against it. Don't do it! You're not sure, anyway. Wait, Mia, wait!

-So what do you prefer? – Julian asked relieved.

Mia thought that it would be much easier for Julian to find out her secret, if she would live with him. That was reason enough to decide for the second alternative. Something inside her told her, it was the way she had to go. Even, if she would rather stay with Julian all the time. This was her wish, but it wasn't right according to her inner voice. She breathed slowly and was swatted. It wasn't easy. It wasn't pleasant. She hated herself right now.

-I will stay with Sebastian.

Julian took it better than she expected. She thought he would be disappointed that she didn't choose him. However, Julian was happy with it. Compared to the uncertainty about her living in this strange apartment, it was already an improvement. It was a small step into the right direction. It was better for him to see her through Sebastian's eyes than not to see her at all. He knew she was hiding a secret, which she didn't want to share. It had to be something that would explain the cameras in her apartment and the fact that she was living alone. Nevertheless, she needed time and all, he could give her, was time and patience.

Julian was partially afraid that she was scared of whom he was, and that was the reason why she didn't talk much about herself. He didn't mind to wait. He had been waiting for her for centuries and some years of getting to know her better were no problem. When she would be ready, she will entrust him anything he had to know about her.

Then she pulled her mobile out and talked to Sebastian. As Julian had already foreseen, Sebastian was the happiest man alive in the moment Mia asked him whether she could stay in his house for some days. Julian observed her during this conversation and saw Sebastian's joy in his heart.

Sebastian hadn't expected that Mia would really contact him. Julian's story was interesting, but Sebastian didn't believe that she would ever call him for a favour. Now, she was indeed doing it. Of course, Sebastian was willing to help her. His apartment had three rooms and she could stay there as long as she wanted to. He was so glad that he would get to know her better and they would have more opportunities to talk and spend time together.

Mia kept the conversation short made and she didn't look at Julian for the whole time.

-Done. – She announced emotionless. She was overwhelmed by this situation and didn't know whether the internal voice was right and whether it was a good idea. She had doubted in her mind.

Julian took her hand and started to walk. She followed without any resistance, but without any joy, either. They came into a mall. Her steps were heavier than before. She was carrying some internal weight and she wasn't as happy as before. She was confused. It was true. She chose some clothes and bought them with her own money and without trying them on.

Then Julian took her to Sebastian's. They were standing around the corner, near to the park. Julian didn't want Sebastian to see them together, and Mia had the same wish. Instinctively, she wanted to stay alone. Her biggest wish was to turn back the time and spend another week with Julian in his home. She didn't want to stay with Sebastian right now. He was a cute, friendly boy, but he had this sparkle in his eyes that showed too much hope for being together. Mia wanted them to stay friends. She already found the love of her life and she wasn't able to hide it. For the first time in her life it was complicated to stay relaxed, because for the first time in her life she really loved someone.

-Will we see us? – She asked worried.

Julian touched her cheek and lips.

-If you would like to... – He kissed her subtle on her forehead and at her nose.

-You know that I don't agree with this 2-weeks-game. – She said quiet. – I can manage on my own.

-I know. – He looked into her eyes.

She was unsettled. He was sparkling the ideal harmony.

-Julian, you have to promise me something. – Mia was serious.

-What? – He was stroking her hair, but he was still focused on her eyes.

-You will be always visible to me. I don't want you to follow me when you are invisible.

Julian waited a moment before he answered:

-I found it very amusing to run at your side, even if you didn't notice it. However, if you wish, I will always give you a sign that I am there.

She was reassured. She could accept this answer. In addition, she was ready for a small talk with Sebastian. Before she went away, she looked Julian into the eyes and smiled shyly. He kissed her softly and then she turned around and went away. It was hard for her to turn around and start to walk.

#83 DOWNTOWN

She felt weird while laying in the bed this night. Firstly, she was in a strange bed in a strange room and in strange clothes. She wondered how Julian managed to tell this story to Sebastian, her stay alone for two weeks and whether Sebastian had asked more questions, for example why Julian knew about it. Did Sebastian know what was going on between her and Julian? Mia wished she had such power to read minds. Everything would be much easier then. At least reading Sebastian would be useful right now. Maybe he didn't know much, because he was quite outgoing. He was taking every chance to stay in contact with her. Moreover, all Mia needed, was to be left in peace. However, it would be very rude if she just came into Sebastian's apartment and go directly to bed. Therefore, Mia helped to prepare a dinner and she was pleased to share the table with someone who was eating, too.

He didn't have much in his fridge, but Mia wasn't hungry. Mia thought that to be lovelorn or having troubles is the best way for a sad and successful diet. She was really not in a mood to listen the needs of her body. There were simply too many emotions inside her and she wasn't able to eat. However, she managed to eat a sandwich with cream cheese and tomatoes and she drunk a cup of tea. Sebastian ate much more and although he was busy with his meal, he asked her questions and was pleased by her answers.

Mia noticed that he bought a new cup. It was bigger than the others were and had a dancing cow on it. The cow wasn't only dancing, it also wore a shirt of bananas. This happy cow with the banana shirt was funny, and Mia even smiled about it. Where did he find something like this? He asked her when she had to get up for school and she said she would be out of house before 7.30 am. He had no problem with it. Sebastian even suggested driving her to school, but she preferred to go alone there. He asked what she liked to eat, but she answered very generally "anything". She wasn't talkative.

Apparently, Sebastian was convinced that she was really down and needed to rest and he didn't straddle the opportunities to talk. Finally, they had some days together to come and he could save his strength for next days.

Mia could sleep. She was turning from left to right and back and sighed. Then, she felt something at her side. She felt a draft of air at her right shoulder. She didn't move for a while, because she was wondering whether it was real or not. Then, Mia felt it again. She was lying on her left side and her right shoulder wasn't covered with the blanket. Here, she felt a wave of air and she trembled.

-Julian? – She whispered, but she didn't move.

There was no answer, but she was almost sure, he was there.

-Julian? – Mia repeated her question and waited.

-Hush, hush, I am here. – Mia heard Julian's voice. She trembled even more.

-Where are you? I can't see you. – She stayed calm and closed her eyes, because she wanted to concentrate herself on other senses, hoping she would hear or feel him.

The air moved a little, but she wasn't sure where he was. It was like when you are on a street and hear a hooter and you don't know form which direction it was coming from.

-Julian, don't do it to me. Where are you?

-Open your eyes, Mia.

She did what he said to her and he was right in front of her. His face was very close to her face and Mia saw herself in his eyes.

-What are you doing here? – She was surprised, but she was quiet.

-I was watching you during the dinner and afterwards. I couldn't leave you alone in this mood.

She smiled a little. His presence helped her to relax. He was her air to breath, her sun to look at and her everything.

-Did I look so bad?

-No, you looked tired. And you are tired.

He kissed her cheek and within a second, he was already sitting behind her. She turned to him and laid her head at his chest. He pretended to breathe like he simulated it over centuries. It was a reflex. Mia's head was going slowly up and down. Therefore, she felt his fake breath. The air was missing, but it was quite fascinating and sedative.

-Try to fall asleep. I am here. – He said and started to stroke her hair and her arms.

She didn't answer, but she was visibly relieved that he indeed was there. Mia finally could fall asleep. When she woke up the following morning, Julian was gone. At least she couldn't see him. She stood up and looked around. She didn't care about the room decoration the day before, because she was too messed up inside. Today she had to admit that this room was similar to the rest of Sebastian's apartment: plain and classy, but cosy as well. It was different to Julian's style. Julian possessed a lot of old furniture and two great paintings, Sebastian's house was decorated in a rather modern style: from modern and fancy furniture up to flower vases and some fresh sculptures. He preferred open rooms and he didn't have much of bric-à-brac. He liked Africa. You could see it in his house. Sculptures showed African women in their native clothes. Most of the sculptures were wooden, but they had their own, vivid colours. Mia planned to buy him a sculpture of an elephant with a trunk over its head. It was supposed to bring luck. It would be a nice present to thank him for his help.

Then, there were some photos of Sebastian and his friends, but they weren't visible at first sight. Sebastian was always brightly smiling and his friends were in a great mood as well. She liked particularly one photo. It showed Sebastian on a beach, hugging three girls next to him. They wore bikinis and Sebastian wore only dark pants. He was looking very handsome. He was tanned and happy. Apparently they were moving too fast, because this photo wasn't so sharp, but Mia was impressed how good and happy Sebastian was looking on it.

She got dressed quickly and she noticed that Sebastian was apparently still sleeping. She took her bag and went very quietly into the kitchen. On the table, she found the second key and left his apartment.

The day in school was boring. She was bored. Today she wasn't carrying many emotions and thoughts in her head. She was quite relaxed. It was weird, but it was relieving. It was exhausting to think about all that was happening to her and she hadn't enough power to keep on going. She needed to calm down and to let reality happen. Control freaks don't have an easy life.

Finally, she had her two weeks of calmness: not because she was living with Sebastian or because of being sure that Julian was always near. When Julian was there, nothing bad could happen. That was the most important fact right now. Mia should be happy and enjoy it. She became aware of it this morning while brushing her teeth in the bathroom. It was ridiculous. The best ideas come to your mind when you don't expect them.

Therefore, she felt easy and to some degree unconcerned. She didn't have to force herself to be focused to the maximum, because officially there was no danger waiting for her, not before two weeks at least. She was in safe hands. She was somehow relaxed. For the first time she felt normal and secure. Her experience seemed to be only a bad story and Jonas was only a bad wolf from a fairy tale. There was nothing to be scared of. There was nothing to worry about.

Mia smiled to herself. If it were possible to keep this state of mind, she would give everything for it.

The lessons were not so interesting as they could be. In history class, they spoke about Germany's divided princedoms in the 19th century and Bismarck who wanted to unite them under Prussian leadership. In Polish class, they had to discuss whether Honore Balzac was a good or rather an average writer. Mia tried to stay away from these discussions. She had her opinion of course, but she preferred to observe her classmates arguing vividly. This class was a dream for every teacher. The pupils always made their homework and they enjoyed learning new things. It was unbelievable to feel this enthusiasm for learning and discovering something new. Maybe it was caused by their teachers who tried to motivate them, repeating that everybody is learning for his own interest.

Justyna was one of the best pupils and she argued with great fire. However, other disputants didn't make her task easy. It was interesting to see how Mia's classmates became lions defending their states of mind. Mia was too emotionally unsettled and at the same time too calm to participate in it. She had to fight every day and it was a nice just to sit down and do nothing. It was a nice change and a moment of rest.

When the school day was over she left the school.

-I don't know, which drugs you take, but I want to get them, too. – Mia heard when she was walking through the school park. She turned around and there was Julian. He was smiling brightly and happily. Mia smiled back brightly. His spontaneous appearance was overwhelming like milk and honey. Julian hugged her and even turned around twice with her before putting her on the ground again.

Mia laughed. She was happy and it couldn't be better. Julian took her by the hand and guided her into the city. They were walking down the streets, talking like any other normal couple. He asked what kind of music she liked and she answered elaborately. She mentioned Linkin Park, Robbie Williams, Frank Sinatra and Aretha Franklin in one breathe. Then they were arguing if she had the worst taste in the world. It was funny.

-Everyone loves Robbie, so I expected you would be different in this point. He's too old for you!

-I like his music very much; I don't know him personally to judge what kind of man he is.

-Would you like to meet him? – Julian asked and Mia wasn't sure whether it was a serious question.

-Why not? – She said and smiled.

-Oh no, Mia, I already told you that he's too old for you. You can be a fan of his music, but nothing else.

-Are you jealous? - She laughed.

-No, I am not. He's not as good looking as I am. – Julian answered self-confident and laughed too.

-But he can sing better!

-How do you know it?

-I already heard you singing and it wasn't as good as Robbie. Still, I liked it anyway. For me you could sing to me every day, anything, while I'm going to sleep.

-Yeah, right, Linking Park as a lullaby. I'll try it tonight.

They were amused and kept talking about such unimportant things like the best musician of the year. Then they came to the place where they said good-bye yesterday: around the corner of Sebastian's apartment.

Mia didn't ask why Julian didn't want to tell Sebastian about them being a couple, but she accepted it. It wouldn't be very helpful for this situation. Julian kissed her and then he was gone. He even didn't mention whether he intended drop in later. Mia supposed he would. She tried to follow him with her eyes, but he was too fast and she lost him between the trees. Then she turned around and went down the street.

When Mia came into the Sebastian's apartment, she was sure that she was alone. It was already early evening and she was alone there. She called Sebastian's name a couple of times aloud and nobody answered. She changed clothes and went running. This time there was no one, running with her. In the park, some people were sitting on the benches and talking. The weather was beautiful. The sun was shining and it was warm.

Mia breathed in deeply, the air smelled of chestnuts, the only thing she was focussed on right now. She had her iPod with her. She listened to "Downtown" by Petula Clark and then the concert of Robbie Williams Live at the Albert Hall 2001 started with "Have You Met Miss Jones". Mia was running and running and she didn't seem to get tired. For the first time, she didn't have any thought in her head and she was as relaxed as she never was before. It was the silence before the storm. Suddenly she had the tune of "Enjoy the silence" in her head. She wondered how she got this song into her head. It just appeared. She wasn't aware that she was gone already for over two hours, when she left Sebastian's apartment. He was already home, welcomed her with a hug and invited to his kitchen.

-You're surely hungry. – He said. – Would you like to cook something with me or do we eat traditional sandwiches?

Sebastian was smiling. She smiled back and mentioned that she has to take a shower and change clothes, but then they could of course cook something. When she came into the kitchen smelling like a peach and jasmine, wearing jeans and a nice top, she was looking amazing. She didn't realize that she was really looking gorgeous. She was barefoot, her hair was tied together, but some wet curls were glued to her neck.

-So, what do we want to cook? – Mia asked.

-Anything, you can choose anything.

Mia smiled.

-I don't know. What do we have?

-I bought some stuff and you have a free choice.

Mia opened the fridge and looked inside.

-Wow, you even have yeast. So, pizza? It's quite easy. And it is delicious.

-If you would like.

She took out the things they needed and put them on the table. There were tomatoes, salami, and some onions. He showed her where she could find the flour and took out a bowl from a cupboard. While she was kneading the mass of flour, water and yeast, his task was to put some more flour in the bowl. Instead, Sebastian caused a big cloud of flour and Mia was almost entirely white afterwards. They were laughing and had a lot of fun. When she finished preparing the mass for the base, she washed her hands and he took the flour from her.

-You still have some flour at your face.

-Where? – She asked surprised.

Sebastian came closer and touched her cheek and with two or three strokes he had cleaned her face. It was quite surprisingly for her to feel his warm hands on her cheek. It was so different from Julian's touch. Sebastian had warm hands. That was the biggest difference. Julian had no temperature: he adapted his temperature to the things he was in contact with. And Sebastian's hands were rougher. Julian's touch was delicate as if he would be touching a precious teensy-weensy pearl or something atomic and was scared to spoil it. Sebastian was subtle, too, but his touch was self-confident and secure.

On the radio, Celine Dion was singing her song "My heart will go on" and Mia stood motionless, watching Sebastian. He didn't lose his self-confidence and held her look. Mia wondered whether Julian saw it the same way she was in this moment. It would be quite interesting to know how Julian was able to read minds and what exactly he was looking at right now. It was somehow strange to know that Julian could watch them. At the same time, it was fascinating. Mia wanted to ask him about it the next time they meet.

-And what now? – Sebastian asked after a while and broke the silence.

-We have to wait until the base grows a little and in the meantime, we can cut vegetables.

Sebastian stepped back and brought a chopping board. Mia murmured the melody of the song and Sebastian was surprised. It was a new Mia. She was behaving as if they would be real friends and was feeling comfortable here. Sebastian was very glad about it. He was convinced that another shift of ice was broken and that they were becoming better friends. Then the song "They don't really care about us" by Michael Jackson was playing and she mumbled it as well.

-You know, I have a karaoke program and we can sing together. – He suggested.

-Sebastian – she laughed – I can't sing!

-Of course you can and anyway, karaoke is not about how good you are, it's about fun.

She was cutting tomatoes and he went into the living room to prepare everything.

-What do you like to sing?

-Anything, I can't sing at all so it doesn't matter what you'll play.

She heard him laughing and after a minute, she heard the first tune from the karaoke machine. It was Michael Jackson's "Bad". Mia started to move to the rhythm while cutting vegetables. When the refrain came, she even sung "I'm bad, I'm bad", but for the rest of the song she sung unclear. Sebastian came back into the kitchen with dancing steps and he swung like a winner. He even took her hand and forced her to turn round and she visibly liked it. Mia was extraordinary cool and open. She was another person. She was smooth and just adorable. Then Sebastian said something more seriously:

-You know when I saw the video of Michael's "Man In The Mirror" for the first time I was very proud to be a Pole. This was the first time I consciously felt being Polish. There were the most important people in the short cuts, and among them Lech Walesa, and it made me being proud of my country. Now Jackson is dead and he is the man in the mirror. Quite strange, isn't it?

Mia saw he was serious.

-I never was a fan of anyone, but I liked his music very much. He was a specific person and I think I will miss him.

-I was at his concert and he rocked! Thousands of people were raving, swinging, dancing, and singing. It was amazing. I can't describe it, but it was really overwhelming.

-And how did you get to his concert?

-Oh, it's a funny story. I saw this video and wished I saw Michael live. I liked his music already earlier, my sister loved Michael, she wished to go to his concert, and I wanted it too. Fortunately, one day I won two tickets for his concert. I could only go with an adult person, because it was a concert abroad, in Germany. It was 1997, I was 12, and it was the "History" tour of Jackson. I asked my sister to go with me. She was so happy that she jumped and jumped like that – Sebastian started to jump around like a crazy person- and it took her days to calm down again.

-So you have an older sister?

-I had. – Sebastian said. – She had a car accident some years ago.

Sebastian was sad remembering this and Mia instinctively came to him and hugged him tight.

-You know – Sebastian continued after a while – it is strange. At a day like today I don't think about it, I already accepted that she is gone forever, but sometimes I miss her much and I still have a hope that she will visit me like she used to. It's ridiculous.

Mia understood him completely.

-It is not ridiculous.

"Faint" by Linkin Park was in the background. Mia stepped back and looked at the pizza base. She formed it and put it out on the plate. While laying down the tomatoes and cucumbers, she started to talk quietly.

-I know how you feel. I lost my family, too. My parents died in an accident and I still think about them. It was a pure bright cut in my life. From one moment to another, everything changed. I hoped to see them too, now I know it is impossible.

Sebastian looked at her while she put the mushrooms on the base. She was focused and she didn't look sad. She was distant once again.

-I thought your family is taking a vacation. – He wondered after a while.

-My grandma is away. – Mia said ice-cold and was still calm.

Sebastian was already disappointed about himself. He managed to get her to close down again when she had been so cool and open. He blamed himself for mentioning Michael Jackson and speaking about tragic things. But he was also glad that she was open and honest enough to tell him a part of her secret. It was a sign that she trusted him. He got up and helped her to put the plate into the oven. While waiting for the pizza, they were sitting in the living room and watched television. Sebastian turned off the karaoke machine, because they were not the right mood for it anymore.

Mia was sitting on the couch and she had laid her cheek on her knees. She was thinking about something. Sebastian was just sitting there, thinking how to bring a new string of understanding between them. There was nothing worthwhile on TV. For that reason, he suggested to watch a DVD and Mia agreed even faster than it was needed. It seemed that it was unimportant for her what they would stare at, because she was busy with her own thoughts.

Sebastian felt he was losing her. He even didn't put a DVD, because it didn't matter. He blamed himself even more and couldn't break free from this continuous loop. When the pizza was ready and he cut it into pieces and brought everything into the living room. She ate one piece and wasn't able to eat more. She was eating almost like a child or even less. It was amazing how she could live, when she eat so less. However, the pizza was great. Already the smell of the fresh backed base and the mushrooms was delicious. It promised a tasty meal, and it was. Everything was perfect: tomatoes, mushrooms... Crispy and juicy. It was an ideal combination.

-We should prepare pizza more often. We could open up a pizzeria.

Sebastian laughed and looked at her. Mia was back again. She smiled and let him convince her to eat another piece of the tasty meal. Then, they put all things away onto a small and modern glass table and just followed some stuff on television. Sebastian turned the sound off and let the radio play instead which was much better. Plain White T's was playing and in this moment, she came closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. Sebastian tried not to move so that she didn't have any reason to change her position.

Her head wasn't heavy; it was rather cute ballast. The pressure of her body was less; she was so small and delicate that she almost didn't weight anything. Sebastian looked at her fine-boned arms and legs. Mia had a small frame, but Sebastian was impressed by her muscles. They were not visible, and she was looking great. Nevertheless, when she moved twice and strained her arms for a moment, he felt the strength hidden in her delicate body. He never saw her in this light. He thought how little he knew about her. She was opening herself to him with every moment spent at his side. Sebastian was waiting how many surprises she had in stock.

While he was thinking about it, he didn't notice that she fell asleep and only when her hand felt loose on the couch, he was aware of it. He was surprised seeing her asleep. Apparently, she was very tired.. Then he looked at the clock, it was already midnight. He thought about what to do and decided to take her into her room and to lay her on the bed. He carefully stood up and took her cautiously up. She unconsciously embraced his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. Her touch was seductive.

He brought her carefully into the room and laid her on the bed. He covered her with the blanket and went out. Before he left the room, he looked at her face in the light coming from the living room and for him she was his personal sleeping beauty. She was the girl he was in love with and she felt comfortable enough to stay here with him for a while. She didn't choose to stay at Julian's house wherever it was, but she asked him to stay here. Sebastian was more than happy. When he closed the door, something moved in the room, but he didn't notice it. Julian came to her and laid next to her. She mechanically turned to him and whispered something, which he couldn't understand.

-What, my dear? – He asked, but she was sleeping and didn't hear him or at least she didn't understand him.

This night she was unsettled. She moved every now and then and was talking something. Unfortunately, she it so unclear that it wasn't possible to understand what she was talking about. Then she started to tremble and said one sentence very clearly:

-My time comes, leave me behind now.

Julian looked at her and wanted to be sure that she was dreaming something. This sentence terrified him. He couldn't imagine leaving her. He couldn't imagine letting her go. He couldn't imagine her dying. It had to be a nightmare. Julian stroked her the whole night and only disappeared when she was waking up.

#84 HANG OVER

Already at school, Mia felt strange. She had had some bad dreams, which she didn't remember after waking up. However, this bad feeling of the dreamt nightmare remained and everything else became unimportant. She didn't wonder how she came to her room. It wasn't normal for her to sleep in clothes. Apparently, she must have been tired and fallen asleep. It had never happened before that she felt so tired that she fell asleep in her clothes. However, this wasn't what bothered her. She had a strange feeling and she already knew with what she should connect it. It was a sense of foreboding, it wasn't as huge as usually, but it was there again. She was convinced that something was about to happen and she was unsettled.

All the way to school, she was thinking about it but she didn't come to a solution. When she arrived at school, she saw one of her classmates, Viola, who was standing there waiting for someone. Mia wanted to pass her by, but Viola said to her:

-We have to talk.

Mia was surprised and followed her classmate. They were standing behind the main building and it started to rain.

-Don't you mind to go in? Otherwise, we'll be wet. – Mia said politely.

Viola looked wicked at Mia and she talked in the same vicious tone:

-How do you dare to meet this guy?

Mia stunned.

-What are you talking about?

-I saw you with him yesterday after school. Forget him; he is not a guy for you.

Mia didn't answer; instead, she turned around and wanted to leave. She didn't want to have such a conversation. Nobody had the right to give her instructions. Viola held her arm and Mia stopped. Mia couldn't stand it, if someone was touching and limiting her. She turned around very quickly and in the same moment she twisted in a way that allowed her to catch Viola at her hand and it was painful. After Mia saw a grimace on Viola's face, she stepped back and let Viola's hand free.

-Don't you ever do this again. – Mia warned.

Viola smiled scared.

-You're the same like you were in the camp. You're screwed.

Mia didn't react to this suggestion and walked away. She still had a bad feeling and nothing could cheer her up now.

The incident with Viola was iffy, but it didn't matter. It wasn't about Viola, it was about Jonas. Somehow, it was about Viola as well. Viola was the only person who knew Mia from the past. Somehow, it was creepy. Mia remembered the time in the camp when she met Viola. It was in summer and the camp was for two weeks. Children from socially deprived families went there and became a therapy for two weeks. Mia was the only one who didn't participate in the healing courses for real. In fact, she was there, but she never talked about her problems like other children did. Her most vivid memory about these camps, where she was sent to when she was six and seven years old, were the cold walls of the hostel. It looked almost like a prison to her. It was a very inhuman place where children were gathered and questioned almost like during trials. Everyone had to describe their stories. If you didn't do it, you were punished. You didn't get anything to eat or you were not allowed to sleep. Most children started to talk after a night without sleep and after a long day without food. Their stories were not extraordinary and worth to starve for or to have a lack of sleep. This was called a successful beginning of a therapy.

Mia was supposed to tell her story. She stood there, in the middle of an icy room, children looking at her and a tall, thin man with a beard asked her with a creepy smile to explain her problem. Mia remained absolutely silent. The course instructor kept asking her the same question: "What happened to you?" and she was mute. She didn't get anything to eat and she wasn't allowed to sleep for a couple of nights. She kept hearing this one question: "What happened to you?"

Mia trembled. She didn't know why she had to go to such camps and she didn't understand why it had to be so humiliating. Even today, she had nightmares about it sometimes. In addition, this question was very clearly in her head at this moment.

Mia remembered Viola who was quite a big girl in this camp and Viola cried a lot. Viola had problems with her stepfather who was violent to her family. It was very shameful for her to admit the real situation in her house. It should exist a way to solve this problem, but nothing changed. Mia was thinking repeatedly about the intention of such camps.

Suddenly, Mia thought that these camps were quite similar to the meetings with Jonas. He was always asking the same questions and Mia didn't give any answers. She got something to eat (she could buy food with her own money, but Jonas's steady control was humiliating). Maybe that was why Mia was so much relieved when she got away from his cameras and from this apartment, which she would never freely call her home? The more time went by the more nervous Mia became. Subsequently, she knew it. It is about to start again.

Mia had a headache and fever and the world was spinning around in a way, which wasn't a good sign. It was frightening. She wanted to leave the school as fast as possible. She had to wait up to the end of this lesson and skip the last lesson. She had to go out and breathe the fresh air.

The minutes were passing by so slowly that Mia wasn't sure whether the time was standing still at some point. She starred at her watch and tried to stay focused on what was going on around her. The teacher was explaining some chemical formulas, but Mia didn't pay enough attention. She wasn't able to participate in this lesson. Her head was pulsating and the pain was tearing her head apart. It was like a bomb, about to explode any moment.

Finally, there was a break and Mia left the school running. While she was standing at the stairs, she saw the black BMW of Jonas and she was convinced that this was a very bad sign for her. She went to the car and a tall, strong man in a black suit and with a black shirt opened her door. She got into the car and sat down in the back seat. The car stared to drive away and she looked shortly back at her school. They were driving for a couple of minutes and Mia didn't know where they were. Then the car stopped and Jonas appeared after he opened the door. He sat next to Mia. Without looking at her, he ordered to drive on. He was angry, but satisfied at the same moment. Mia didn't understand what he was planning and she didn't break the silence.

-Do you think about where we are going? – asked Jonas with an animal satisfaction in his face.

Mia didn't show any reaction.

-You know, I left you here and I wanted to see how you spend your time and you didn't even go back home. My men alarmed me that you're still out of home. In fact, it made me curious. In the end, every person has to have a place to sleep. – Jonas was speaking quickly and clearly. His intonation using the word "home" was like bad cacophony for Mia's ears. It wasn't a nice Prokofiev's piece, it was a brutal, harsh discordance of sound.

–So, I was so curious that I even left my business and came back earlier to see what's going on here. Now I am asking you, Mia, what is going on here?

She stayed calm outside, but inside she was more than twisted and nervous.

-I already know that you won't tell me anything, so I have a surprise for you.

The car stopped and Jonas gave her a cell phone. It was an iPhone with a wide screen.

-I think I have to leave now, so have fun watching it.

Then he got out of the car with a great smile on his creepy face. Mia held the cell phone, staring at it. Nothing happened. The car started to drive again and it was still silent. Mia was thinking about what Jonas said, but she couldn't come to any conclusion. Then the phone rang. She pushed the green button and saw Jonas.

-As I already told you, I have a surprise for you. It is up to you how it will end.

He said and smiled even with more satisfaction as he already showed while sitting next to her.

Jonas stepped back and Mia could see her grandmother sitting in a chair. Her eyes were blindfolded. Mia was quite sure they were in the house of Jonas. The room was bright and glittery, because outside the sun was shining.

-So, Mia, I knew I wouldn't get any information from you. Moreover, I already knew that I wouldn't get any information from your grandma. Your grandma doesn't know anything valuable about you, and she barely knows you. My point is that it is up to you how she will die.

The last word he said with a special tone and her grandmother trembled hearing it. Mia stayed calm. Jonas came closer to her grandmother and something shiny appeared in his hand. Was it a knife?

-And I already asked you a question and I would like you to start talking to me. Will you?

Mia stared at the screen and couldn't believe he was doing this.

-Mia, I won't ask again. Will you?

-I will. – She said quietly.

-I didn't hear you... – Jonas was smiling crookedly.

-I will! – She repeated louder.

-I don't believe you. And I know that you don't care much about your grandmother. If I were you, this woman would mean nothing to me. Therefore, it doesn't matter whether I will kill her now or tomorrow. You will not tell me what I want to know. My chances for a talk with you are very bad. Consequently, it doesn't matter what you promise me right now. I just wanted to warn you: be honest to me, baby, because otherwise something bad can happen.

In this moment, Jonas went to her grandmother and stabbed the knife into her chest.

The quality of the picture on the iPhone wasn't optimal, but Mia could see her grandmother dying. It was a quick death. It was too easy. Mia's breathe stuck in her lungs and she couldn't move.

-So, my dear Mia – said Jonas seriously – you know that I am not joking. In fact, I am watching you. I will call you these days. So behave.

Then the car stopped suddenly. Mia fell on the seat in front of her, because she wasn't wearing a seat belt.

-Mia, and now run as far as you can! – ordered Jonas.

She didn't wait to hear it a second time. She jumped out of the car and ran away. She was somewhere in the city and she almost fell down on the sidewalk. She stood up quickly and ran. After some seconds, she heard an explosion. She stopped and turned around. It was Jonas's car, which was burning right now. In addition, she felt she was exploding. She was being torn apart.

She didn't wait long to watch the situation develop. While curious people went in the direction of the burning car, she was going away. She knew she wouldn't go to Sebastian tonight. She knew she wouldn't go to Julian tonight, either. She had to protect them and therefore, she had to leave this city.

She didn't have much money. She didn't have any place where she could go to. She just knew that she had to leave this town right now. Nothing was holding her here and she didn't want anything else to happen. She knew that she had some money in her apartment and she wanted to take it and then take the first train to leave Warsaw. She started to run and after some minutes, she realized that she was at the other end of the city. She had to take a bus to get back to the city.

Her plan was simple and right. She couldn't even say goodbye, because she didn't want to give Jonas any reason to be violent to people who were important for her. She ran and the tears were collecting under her lids. Her eye lids became heavier with every move she made. The wind in her face kept her from weeping. She had no time to cry. She had no time for being weak. She had to escape before it was too late.

It took her an hour to get to her apartment and it wasn't difficult to find the money. She took it and put it into her bag and was already on the go again. She was ready to leave it all behind.

She jumped from the stairways in the hall and then she stayed frozen.

On the other side of the street there was Julian. He was standing there looked at her with a bewildered look on his face. He was confused by her behaviour. And Mia was confused, too. It wasn't part of her plan. This should not have happened. She stopped only for a second. Then she turned around and started to walk away quickly. Then Julian blocked her way. She wanted to run around him, but he stepped aside and blocked her way again.

-Just behave, as if you don't know me! It's important! – Mia whispered in a serious voice.

Julian looked at her confused and smiled. She didn't smile back. She went on without looking back. Julian didn't understand what was going on and followed her.

When he was walking next to her, she repeated with pressure:

-Just behave, as you if don't know me! Please, it's important!

He stopped and stared at her while she was walking on. He couldn't let her go like this. He wanted to know what caused this change in her. Julian came to her again and took her into his arms. Mia knew that it wouldn't be easy to leave him, but she had to say something to him that would hurt him. Otherwise, he wouldn't let her go.

She stepped back and said seriously:

-Julian, I can't be who you are and you can't be who I am, and it won't work, because – she stopped for a moment before she finished her sentence – because I don't love you and I am scared of you.

Then she ran away. Julian stayed behind on the sidewalk and was shocked. He couldn't believe what he just heard. He was crushed down and couldn't move. He was frozen like her heart.

It started to rain and he was still standing in the street where she was living without moving a millimetre.

As she reached the main railway station Central Warsaw, she didn't even go to a cash point, she looked at the departure table and saw that a Berlin-Warsaw-Express was going to leave Warsaw in two minutes. This was perfect. She ran to the platform and was happy to see the train still standing there. When she wanted to get onto the train, she heard somebody calling her name. Frightened, Mia looked around, but she didn't see anyone. She went onto the train looking for and a free seat. Fortunately, there were not many people on the train and she found a completely empty compartment where she sat down. Then the train started to go.

In the very same moment, the first tear ran down her cheek. It was slowly flowing down to her lip. She felt a salty taste in her mouth. Mia took some deep breaths and it helped to stop the tears. At least she wasn't crying a river. Nevertheless, internally she was falling apart like a glass thrown down from the highest skyscraper. No, she rather felt as if she herself would have jumped from the highest skyscraper and had already reached the ground. She was crushed and all her thoughts and dreams were broken. She was ice-cold and at the same time, she felt feverish. Some sweat drops were appearing on her forehead and she wasn't able to remain calm. Her hands were trembling, and her body was shaking. What have I done? What have I done? What have I done to deserve it?

Her throat was dry, her eyes caused pain, and everything looked like a moon landscape without any light. She was freezing, she was trembling and she was shaking. She was angry, annoyed and disappointed. A black hole was sucking all her vital energy and there was no hope left for her. In fact, she wasn't only leaving Warsaw, she was leaving her dreams, her happiness and she lost her soul. She left herself. There was nothing else to say. She watched the landscape through the window, but actually, she didn't see buildings, trees, and Warsaw at all. She saw her grandmother in a chair with a knife stuck in her chest. She saw Julian in a chair with a knife in his chest. Jonas killed her grandmother, and she killed Julian. Somehow, he was living. He had centuries of life in front of him and he would someday find another soul to live with.

Mia killed Julian, she killed him, she killed him... These three words echoed in her head corresponding to the rhythm of the running train. She killed him, she killed him, and she killed him.

It wasn't killing him softly, but it was like killing him with a sword. It was deep and would hurt eternally. The argument that she loved him too much to push him into Jonas' arms, couldn't surface and talk down the fact that she had killed him. She killed herself, too. Therefore, it wasn't important what was going to happen to her. The most important thing now was that people, who were important for her, were hopefully safe. At least she was thinking this way. She broke Julian's heart, but she saved him. Should she not be in better mood right now? She was divided. She was a broken string and an ocean of tears inside of her increased the pressure. She killed him, she killed him, she killed him. His heart was broken, and there was nothing else to break.

Mia hadn't enough power to fight with herself. She was sure that she would start to cry a river, but instead of a river of tears, only two tear drops fell from her eyes. But they were burning like hell. Mia's eyes were burning like hell. She was burning like a witch of Salem on a stake. She wanted to die.

She killed him, she killed him, she killed him.

She felt so small and so lost and she didn't have a good plan. She had maybe 100 Euro in her pocket and nowhere to go to. Nowhere warm, nowhere safe, nowhere free.

The shape of her heart became shadowy. The darkness overwhelmed her and didn't let go. She was as lost s she could be. She killed him, she killed him, she killed him. It was raining outside. The trees were swinging in the rhythm of the wind and their green colour won over the dark blue sky. The raindrops splashed at the window and changed to scratches on the window pane when they were pulled apart by the wind. The faster the train was going the more rain drops were spread out. These long, unhappy lines were looking just like her heart. She felt her heart was getting such scratches as well. She felt her heart was bloodily torn apart. It was beating slower and slower and the scars were deepening and deepening. Her sparkle of life was going down as if she would drown under the surface of a sea.

The world was a very scary and dark place right now. She killed Julian, she killed him, she killed him. She left him. She lost him. She was so screwed up. She saw pictures in her mind when she was happily going through woods with Julian, and then the knife in her grandmother's chest, and then the bloody hand of her Aunt Renata while police officers were carrying her out of the apartment in Wroclaw. Mia saw it as if she was watching the family album and the more she wanted to break free and throw away these pictures the clearer they became.

Here, she was sitting on the cliff and Julian was explaining the colours he could see in her. He described her white colour. In another picture, she saw Julian stroking her arm when she was laying in a bed trying to sleep. He was cosy, delicate and mumbling something. His touch was like a blow of a summer breeze.

Then, she saw her grandmother sitting in a chair with eyes blindfolded with a dark cloth. Her grandmother was calm, but she trembled. She was apparently frightened. Then she saw her mother coming towards her with open arms and a bright light, which dazzled Mia so much that she wasn't able to see anything else. After that, she saw the sapphire-like light of Julian and the satisfaction in his eyes when he transferred his energy. He was so concentrated, but still he had this little smile in the corner of his mouth. His eyes were burning vividly.

Mia shook her head. She wanted to forget everything; she wanted to run away from herself. It was too much for her small, human heart to suffer like this. She noticed that they passed the border, because there were now German names on the station signs. In an hour, she should be in Berlin. What then? What was she suppose to do now? Should she travel further? Should she stay in Berlin for a while? For what? She had no clue and she didn't have any energy to make plans. It was so unimportant what she was going to do. If she had more courage, she would even kill herself.

The rain got heavier. The raindrops were angrily knocking at the window and the wind got stronger. On the horizon clouds gathered and hid the light of the sky. Everything was dark. The lights in the train went on automatically. Mia switched them off and observed the spectacle outside. Lightening showed in the sky and slapped madly into trees. The raindrops were escaping from the furious flashes and wanted to find a safe place inside the train. They beat at the window and there was so much water on the window pane now that the picture became unclear. The thunder rolled terrifyingly and came closer.

Mia wasn't scared. She had seen worse things. She wanted to go out between trees, hoping for lightening to struck her hand. She sensibly imagined how beautiful it would be when she could jump out of this train and be caught by a flash of lightening. It would be the best way to finish this thin red line in her life.

The trained drove into Berlin and Mia stood up slowly. Her steps were so time-consuming and heavy that you could think she was the heaviest person in the world. She carried the ballast of her thoughts and fears with her and it pushed her down visibly. People who were standing in front of her were already outside and being welcomed by their families and friends or just hurrying somewhere alone.

She left the train and stayed at the platform like a statue. Mia put the headphones into her ears, because she didn't want to hear anything of the huge railway station. Ingrid Michaelson sung "Keep Breathing" as loud as it was possible. Maybe that's why Mia was still breathing. Maybe this was the reason why Mia was still alive. Mia didn't even notice that this song was played over and over again. She was standing there alone with her bag and kept breathing.

She could stay here forever. People were passing her by. There was a mass of people. White, black, tall, thin, fat... She didn't see their faces. Everything was so meaningless. They were passing her by from different directions and they were alone, they were with friends, they were with families, they were colourfully schoolish or business-like grey or black. They were carrying big packages or just a suitcase. Although she was standing in their way, they didn't touch her. They passed her by without pushing her.

Mia closed her eyes and tried to stay upright. Behind her, trains were arriving and going. There were red trains, white trains, old and new trains. Every now and then, she heard a speaker announcing something she didn't care about. She tried to keep breathing. It was hard enough to keep breathing. She felt like she was wearing invisible chains and she couldn't move. However, she didn't fight against it. She let these chains limit her and she didn't care about it. It was meaningless. It was unimportant.

Once she wanted to change her fate, but it didn't work. She realized that she would always be on the run and she would never slow down. She knew she would never be happy and all happiness she ever collected up to now was too much and too less of what she could collect. However, she was sure she could never ever be able to feel any kind of joy again. It was too dangerous for everyone. She should live on her own and avoid people. Maybe she should go to Africa and live like the natives? However, without contacting them? Wild animals were no problem. It would be better to be killed by a lion than by Jonas.

She kept breathing. People were still rushing here and there. Nevertheless, there were fewer people now on the platform. Slowly the mass disappeared and the railway station started to prepare itself for the night. The lights went on and the night was visible from here. Mia was standing at the highest level of the Berlin Main Railway Station, called Berlin Hauptbahnhof. It was a modern, very young glass-building with four levels, ending up in the underground. She was standing under the glass dome. On the horizon, you could see the residence of the German chancellor and the many lights of the big city.

However, Mia didn't care. Mia didn't look around. She was still standing at the same place. Police officers had passed her twice already looked at her, but they didn't approach her. She didn't feel anything anymore. She was just trying to keep breathing.

#85 DEAD AND GONE

Then, Mia suddenly had the impulse to run. Her instinct forced her to run, but she was still standing there like a sculpture. Moreover, she felt a coldness creeping up to her. She looked into that direction and somehow, she wasn't surprised by seeing him here. One way or another, she knew that he would find her. Now or later – the eclipse of time didn't matter.

It wasn't Julian. It wasn't Sebastian. It was indeed Jonas. He was smiling awry, but with satisfaction. He approached her. Her earphones dropped out of her ears. Only a second later, he was next to her and forced her to go with him. His touch on her back was ice-cold and rough. He was strong, and she felt it.

-Mia, I have to thank you very much. Without witnesses. – He said calm, but with a contentment in his voice. He even clapped his hands a couple of times to applaud like people who admire a new Oscar winner.

He was wearing a suit like an honest and respected businessperson or politician and he really looked great in it, everything matched perfectly: his black suit, the violet shirt, and the mad sparkle in his eyes.

Mia wasn't wondering about anything anymore. She let him push her to the exit and they were standing in front of the main entrance to the railway station. Ahead of them, there was the residence of the German chancellor and the river Spree over spun by a bridge and the lights of Berlin.

Jonas waved with his hand and a black new shiny Mercedes S appeared suddenly and stopped in front of them. Jonas opened the door and forced Mia to get in. He was cruel and hurt her, but Mia liked this pain. It was somehow relieving her from her internal pain. It was an exhaust pipe for her emotions. She followed his unspoken orders and while they were driving, she tried to look around inconspicuously to realize where they were going. The truth was that she didn't know Berlin; she had never been to this city before and had no idea about its layout.

They passed the Bundestag building and Humboldt University, then the German Dome and TV Tower at Alexander's Square. The whole city seemed to shine and to spread colourful messages to the world. Even green and properly planted trees were glowing. They stood straight in two rows like proud soldiers who kept the guard.

The car was going further, and Mia couldn't recognize the names of the buildings anymore. It was meaningless, anyway.

Suddenly, they stopped and Jonas pushed her towards the door, she got out of the car. She didn't have time to look around. All she could see, was that they were on an important vein of the city. The buildings looked rather Russian than German. She was surprised to feel him taking her into his arms and to find herself on a roof of an old building a second later. The panorama view over Berlin was great. However, Mia had no time to admire city full of lights and life. They were still in Centrum, because below them there was this multi-lane road with many cars.

Mia wasn't scared. She was so empty inside that she didn't even find a trace of curiosity to wonder how he had found her. Jonas pushed her and she made some steps towards the edge of the roof. Now she was standing only one step apart from the edge of this building.

-I wanted to thank you, Miss Mia. You made my task easier than I expected. – Jonas started to talk and watched her very carefully. Mia's face didn't change and her eyes remained empty.

-You should not be so shy, really. You did a real good job. – He complemented her in an ironic tone.

-I guess you know that I am not what you thought I am. I don't know how much your friend Julian told you about our secret, but I suppose you know who he is.

Mia didn't move, but as she heard Julian's name her eyes started to burn. How did Jonas know about Julian?

-Yes, now I see that you are really following me.

Cold wind was blowing into her face, played with her hair. However, she concentrated herself on every move of Jonas. He made some small, slow steps here and there, but kept a distance of a few meters to her. Mia was still silent.

-So, dear Mia, thanks to you I could find him sooner than I expected. It was quite trashy to see your love. It was just too simple and I was surprised. For the first time for centuries, I was stunned. Can you imagine it? – He made a short break and smiled devilishly. - Therefore, you have earned a little bit of respect from me. You managed something that was almost impossible. Respect.

Mia followed his moves and listened to his ironic tone. Thousands of questions were running around in her head and she wanted to get answers.

-And now, I managed to bring you to the same state of mind I was in a few weeks ago. I was asking you questions and you didn't answer them. Now you know how it feels to literally burn inside for answers. Am I right?

He looked at her watchfully. She assumed that apparently he didn't get all of his answers and therefore he still needed her. However, she didn't intend to help him. He wouldn't get any information from her. She could suffer as much as she never did before, but she wouldn't give in to Jonas.

-Oh, I see, you don't want to cooperate. I already know this look on your face too well. – Jonas sarcasm was hitting her like needles in the air.

Mia stayed calm and didn't move. Then, suddenly he came so rapidly towards her that she almost felt the wave of air, he caused. Additionally, he pushed her softly. It was strong enough to make her lose her balance and she had to make a step back. Then he pushed her once again and she felt that she wasn't able to make any further step. One more step and she would fall down.

Jonas was standing in front of her, face to face, and watched her with a crooked smile. Then he pushed her again and she percepted how she fell into the abyss. She saw the trees below and the sidewalk and the cars and lights but in the moment she started to fall, Jonas caught her wrist and held her hanging in the air. Her legs moved automatically looking for something to stand on.

Jonas bowed down towards her still holding her wrist. It was painful. She already thought he would smash it like a rainbow bubble. The pain was horrible, but she managed not to show it on her face. And then he pushed his nails into her wrist like an eagle pushing it's claws into the body of its victim. It was easy for him.

-And, how do you like it?

Mia didn't answer, but if she could kill him with her eyes, he would already be dead. However, it wasn't so easy.

-I knew it. You are quite brave, but in the end, it won't help anybody. I see that you don't care about your own life. – Jonas spoke slowly and clearly. – And therefore, I made up another plan to get information out of you.

He pulled her up and in a second, Mia was standing safely on the roof again. She was breathing fast and her heart was beating furiously, but she still had the same look in her eyes. She wasn't cooperative in any way. She looked shortly at her wrist. It was bloody. She didn't care. She thought about what he was planning.

-At first, we have to go and buy you a nice dress. Julian will like it and I think he would appreciate seeing you in a nice dress.

Mia didn't answer. Internally she was so furious that it was almost impossible to keep all this energy in her little body.

Words like violence  
Break the silence  
Come crashing in  
Into my little world  
Painful to me  
Pierce right through me  
Can you understand

The radio played immortal Depeche Mode and she felt exactly this way: but instead of words, it was Jonas and his plan, breaking the silence.

Jonas talked shortly to perfectly styled sales ladies and they took Mia by her unhurt hand and led her through a shop. They were arguing what Mia should wear and they didn't care really about her. And Mia wanted to escape as fast as possible from the claws of the posh experts. She saw tops and dresses, which they brought and which she should try on. At first, the sales ladies bandaged her hurt wrist so she wouldn't spoil the clothes. Mia let it happen. She didn't want to look at her wound, because she already assumed it was deeper and bigger than she thought. Sometimes it is better not to know everything for sure.

On the one hand, Mia didn't have time to lose. She had to do something. However, for gathering her strength and making up a plan, she needed time to think. She used the time for trying on different clothes for this. They stuck her into clothes like the most famous stars would wear, but she didn't feel good in them. In addition, she hated dresses. She preferred pants and a top, but the sales ladies ignored her, only focussed at Jonas, looking for his approval. Mia seemed to be a Barbie doll that should be dressed according to the liking of her owner. It was humiliating. Mia had to wear all these creations, came out of the changing room, presented herself shortly. Jonas shook his head without approval to any of these dresses.

Mia was thinking feverishly about a plan, but there were too many unknown factors involved. She couldn't guess how much Jonas knew about Julian and what Jonas was up to. She supposed that Jonas didn't have any good intentions. She had to get more information from him.

Now Mia was wearing a top looking like Beyonce on the cover of her album "Halo" – it was nonchalant and very stylish. It was of an amazing silver colour. With the top, she got a short pair of pants in the same colour. Everything looked gorgeous. The sales ladies brought her white ballerinas and tied up some of her curls with a white band.

Mia wasn't even looking at her reflection in the mirror, but Jonas nodded with pleasure. The sales clerks were pleased, as well. This girl looked glamorous and stylish as the most famous Hollywood stars. However, Mia was disappointed and apparently ignored their work. The nice man, who was obviously her manager, was right: the new stars were puffed up and eccentric. Probably, she was taking drugs like all new shiny stars and thought she's the best. Then the sales ladies started to discuss how this girl could hurt herself so badly.

In the meanwhile, Jonas took Mia by her healthy hand and forced her to follow him. He pushed her to get into the car and they were on the way again. Mia didn't feel comfortable at all. In fact, the new clothes were not her greatest problem. Mia hadn't any clue where he was taking her. And she couldn't ask him, because Jonas wouldn't bother to tell her much as she assumed. Was it his revenge? Did he want to kill her now? If it should be, Mia was surprisingly relieved. If the story should end this way, it was OK. No more deaths, no more terror. It would be the end of a long, complicated escape. Her death would set her free. If it would be the price she had to pay, she accepted it. The most important thing was that Julian should not be involved in this story. It wasn't his story, it wasn't his fairytale.

After a while, they came to an airport and Mia saw planes everywhere. It was a small airport in the middle of Berlin. The city lights were shining everywhere and the night life was about to start.

She couldn't wait any longer and asked:

-Where are we going?

Jonas smiled groovy and shook his head. He didn't want to tell her anything. Her assumptions were correct.

-We'll talk later. And don't try any tricks, because I am at least as powerful as Julian.

Julian. Mia was focussed again. Jonas mentioned Julian again. Did Jonas' plan foresee Julian to be involved? Mia didn't want to run away before she hadn't enough information. She wanted to know what Jonas was planning. Full of doubts, she followed him to a plane. It was a private jet. Mia didn't know whether it was normal to start flying with a private jet. Was it common here, in Berlin, to have a private jet? Actually, it didn't matter.

The plane wasn't small. It was almost as big as the other ones around. Instead of adverts and the name of the airline, there were only some curious signs painted on it in a green colour. Mia had to climb the stairs and after she came into the plane, she was shocked by the luxury inside. There were not many seats behind the first curtain, but they were of leather and seemed to be comfortable. Everything was bright, shiny, and beige-coloured. In the middle of the small room was a round table and another curtain was to see.

Jonas moved his head in the direction, where he ordered her to sit down. She took place in the middle of the room, so she was able to see what was coming towards her from any side. Jonas sat down opposite her, watching her very carefully all the time. Jonas blinked and didn't move when a waiter served them something to drink. Mia didn't expect anyone else to be on the plane, except of the pilots. She didn't expect to have waiters here who were dressed ordinarily and didn't catch attention. Mia had seen this person already when he came into the room.

-You're watchful. – Jonas said with a tone of admiration. – And if you were an actress, the Oscar would be going to you. I haven't told you yet how pleased I was by your line "I don't love you, I'm scared of you". I was touched. I couldn't plan it better. You were not only convincing, you also gave me a hint, I wasn't aware of until then.

Mia looked at him with disgust. Every word of him made her feel more sick.

-You lost your only chance to play it differently. If you would have stayed at his side, it wouldn't have been so easy. However, don't be mad, you wouldn't win it one way or the other. I planned it already for so long that it couldn't go awry. Before I ask you some questions and before you give me the answers to my questions, I can tell you how I found out everything, unless you don't want to. I guess you'll be a nice girl and you won't start screaming or insulting me. If you lose your self-control, I won't finish my story. Do we understand each other?

Mia nodded. She was curious about his plans and every information he could give her, could be worth more than the greatest treasure in the world. It was a game for him and he was playing it at high stakes: the life was the price.

Jonas took a more comfortable position in his chair and waited a moment before he started to narrate. His voice was clear and showed his self-satisfaction. He kept watching Mia for all the time and he was visibly pleased by her increasing disappointment.

-I knew that I have to wait until you get older. And I had to control your steps. Every year when you moved from one city to another, I found out where you were living, where you were going to school this time and how you look. I hadn't even to look at photos to recognize you. We met already once and I remembered your eyes. People may change, but their eyes stay the same the for their whole life.

He pointed at a glass of water and without words ordered her to drink it. She nipped at it unwillingly. She felt already a wave of fever and angriness that he apparently knew everything about her life. She tried to do her best to remain calm. She had get as much information as possible.

-I knew how you should look like in the moment I had to use you. Then I stepped into your life once again. I knew we had some kind of mental connection. I gave you some information you needed to bring you to me. And when I saw you in the apartment of your aunt I knew that it was about time. It was your time to act, my puppet.

Mia clenched her teeth and listened further to his narration.

-According to our legends and according to steps, which all others undertook, I knew that now was the right constellation of time and place. It was the time to start working. And I did. I came to visit you and you recognized me. Then you visited me regularly, but nothing was happening. I knew that I had to wait and be patient. What these old fools didn't know was that you are the key to the solution. They backed the wrong horse. I always knew they were not as clever and knowledgeable as everybody said. My task was to keep you alive as long as I needed you. And that's why you're still living. The bait was taken.

Mia was gulping her fury and looked at him with disgust. She was just a tool in his hands. If she knew it from the very beginning, she never would have behaved the way she did.

-You should feel appreciated. – Jonas said respectfully. – From all people I got to know up to now, you are the one who is extraordinary. You are quite smart and attentive. In addition, I can't read your mind, but I assume Julian can't do it either, otherwise, he would already be here.

While he was speaking, the plane had taken off. Mia was surprised that she was so concentrated on Jonas' words that she didn't notice the start. She focused once again on his words and tried to absorb as many information as possible. She tried to remain calm. Being furious right now didn't serve her and would only complicate things. She had to find out his goal. She already assumed why he kept her alive. She should be his bait. For Julian? Was Jonas trying to hurt Julian?

In fact, if this was the role she was supposed to play, she should kill herself before Jonas would be able to use her. Mia was sitting there and decided to give away her life to protect the one she loved. The advantages were visible: Julian will survive and this pitfall won't work. Moreover, if it was the legend, which Jonas was talking about, then she had to be a martyr and sacrifice her own life to jeopardise Jonas' plan.

And this would be the real end of her escape. She was tired of continuously being on the run. She was 17 and she was extremely tired of living an illusion.

-And then you smelled different. – Jonas smiled with satisfaction. – You didn't notice it, but I knew that I was on the right way, on my way to success. I let you do your job, because I didn't know how powerful Julian was. In addition, as we missed you for some days, I already knew that Julian was hooked. I couldn't find you; surely, he doesn't live in Warsaw. He never liked big cities. He was rather the calm one, the one who lives in the country in great harmony. It was too hard for me to find him in another way.

Mia was frightened. Jonas was really looking for Julian. He wanted Julian. Why?

-It's not important. I knew that you will come back and that he will follow you. You both have different reasons. He wanted to have you and you wanted to protect your grandma, which by the way wasn't useful, and she got on my nerves quite often. She didn't know much about you and therefore I had to rely on your answers, which of course, I didn't get.

Jonas shook his head disapprovingly.

Mia was sitting in the leather chair, as if it would be a fire in a camp. She tried to stay calm, but Jonas could see that she was nervous. She trembled a little bit and gritted her teeth. She was holding her glass and kept it so strong in her hand that Jonas thought it will break any moment.

Jonas was very pleased to see her pain. He enjoyed her suffering even more than when he slapped her. After a while he continued.

-You won't be pleased, but we have something in common. We don't need our family to live. We don't have families.

Mia wanted to deny. If he wouldn't have killed her parents, she would have a great loving family. But he stepped into their life and changed it just because he wanted to have a tool to play with. She was so emotional inside that she was afraid that she would explode any second. She hoped it wasn't as visible as she felt it was.

-You have to admit that your grandma wasn't great! – Jonas smiled crookedly.

Mia watched him humiliated and furious. Her anger rose to a maximum. She was right before exploding like an atomic bomb.

-And yesterday after school, it was nice that he took you to a candy shop and wanted to buy you something fashionable. That's why I thought I will do it for him. He hadn't enough good arguments for it, but he will be glad to see you look so pretty.

Mia almost jumped out of her chair. Every time she thought, he won't manage to rise her madness, Jonas took her to another level. She controlled herself with the rest of her strength, and managed to stay in her seat.

Jonas had apparently much fun annoying her and messed around in her open wounds. Mia tried to concentrate herself on what he already told her. Her sudden thought was a risky idea, but she could give it a try.

-What does the legend say? You won't become the king of the world.

It was like a slap in the face. This hurt him. Jonas smiled in a scary way. She touched his nerve. It was the legend, but he wasn't sure of winning this part of the game.

-Has Julian not told you about it? What were you talking about? – Jonas wondered with an unfriendly tone in his voice. He was unsettled, at least a little bit. He doubted whether he should tell her more or better leave it. He looked at her and clenched hands.

-Or do you want to compare my information with his... – He was still distrusting her.

Mia tried to look as reassured as possible. In fact, she didn't have a clue about this legend and she was just provoking him. Priggish, snobbish people usually don't trust in their strength. The more they show themselves as powerful, the more insecure they are inside. It worked. Jonas started to talk:

-Our Wisemen – and he spoke "Wisemen" very disrespectfully – told there is "The One Who Is Everytime" and who rules over the time, so he rules over the world. And they met "The One Who Is Everytime" a couple of times already. It is very rare to meet "The One Who Is Everytime", because he can indeed be everywhere and every time. However, what the Wisemen didn't know is that it is indeed possible to take over the skills of our brothers and sisters. It is possible to take abilities of human beings, too, but it doesn't bring us further. People are just weak. It doesn't pay off. But on them you can practise very well how to absorb the strength of other creatures.

Jonas stopped. He stood up and didn't have the will to keep on talking. Mia had the impression he told her too much already.

His plan was to use her as a bait and to absorb abilities of Julian. Did Jonas think that Julian was "The One Who Is Everytime"? or did Jonas think that Julian will bring him closer to "The One Who Is Everytime"? And why was it so important for him that it would happen right now? Was the time significant? Jonas could have attacked Julian earlier and for this, he didn't need any human being at his side.

Mia wasn't sure. But she was sure about her mission. She had to help Julian and had to make sure she wouldn't to fall into a trap, and therefore she had to commit suicide. It was a scary thought, but she was ready to do it. She had just to make use of any good occasion. If she wouldn't exist anymore, Jonas won't have anything to lure Julian.

While she was thinking about it, she felt the plane was slowly losing height. She should tighten her belt, but she didn't care. Maybe this was the right moment to jeopardise Jonas plan? Jonas saw she was somehow too calm and fastened her seatbelt. He looked suspiciously at her and as he would in fact read her mind, he said:

-You should wait to see who's on board with us before you try some tricks.

Mia tried to look surprised that he was suspecting her of making any plans.

-You know that I was never abroad and that I have no idea how to behave in a plane. – She said as her excuse.

He seemed to believe it. Mia wondered what game he was planning, and who could be included in his intrigue. She had a sense of foreboding. It wasn't strange to be sure about wanting to die. Mia was surprised that she made this decision. Her life wasn't the best, there has never been much success, in fact, it was more a sequence of defeats and scary moments. However, it was her life and it was worth to be lived the way she was living it. She was happy to have met Julian on her way and if it was foreseen since centuries, she was relieved that it worked out. Her moment of happiness was worth to sacrifice her life now. However, it was in her hand, at least for a short while, to prevent bad things from happening.

#86 THE PROFESSIONAL GUN

The landing didn't cause a problem and Jonas took her belt off and ordered her to stand up and leave the plane. It was fresh and dark outside. Her clothes were much to thin for this place. She was shivering because it was too cold, but she didn't complain. She went down the stairs and took a brief look around. They were on a small airport between some trees. She wasn't sure where they were. The flight hadn't taken too long, therefore she was assuming they were still in Europe. But as she had no experience with flight distances, she wasn't sure.

Jonas pushed her and she was walking two steps in front of him. They were approaching the trees, and it was quite dark. Mia assumed there was a road ahead, but not the main exit. She was right. The shapes of two cars became visible, two BMW X5 Sports Activity Vehicles and two men were waiting for them. When Jonas came closer, they moved their heads as if they would give honour to him. Jonas ignored them and asked in Russian whether everything was going according to plan. They confirmed. Mia could understand what they were talking about. She had never learnt Russian, but the language was similar to the Polish language.

Then one of men (they were looking quite alike, both wearing dark suits and rather muscular) said that he could show it. Mia didn't know what he was meaning by "it", but as Jonas went around one of the cars, she followed. Did they already have Julian?

The Russian opened the boot and Mia kept her breathe as she saw what they were talking about. There was Sebastian, apparently without consciousness. His hands and legs were tied up. He had a dark stripe across his eyes so he couldn't see anything, even if he was conscious. Mia checked his pulse. He was alive.

-He has just got some medicine. – said Jonas and took Mia away from Sebastian.

Mia was in a trap and got a much better understanding of the situation than before. She was scared. Now she was really scared. Jonas forced her to get into the other car and smiled with an animal like joy. A second later, he was gone and apparently, he was in the same car where they had Sebastian. One of Russians took place on the driver's seat and they went off. The Russian had no beard and almost no hair. He was quite young, 20+, muscular and every now and then, he was looking at Mia, smiled a little. He turned on the radio and loud sounds of American pop songs were to hear. He was saying something, but the music was too loud and Mia couldn't understand him. She didn't want to understand him anyway. According to his face, he didn't say anything important.

Mia needed time to think. What possibilities did she have now? There were Julian and Sebastian. And if Jonas would get what he wanted, he would kill all the three of them. Jonas needed Mia to get Julian and because Julian wasn't able to read her mind, Jonas needed a transmission tool. So he took the one, who was important for both of them. The plan was almost perfect. Mia couldn't believe this plan was so devilishly and that's why she wasn't able to focus on thinking about alternatives. There was still something Jonas wanted from her. He needed information. She wasn't just a bait. Apparently, she seemed to know something that was relevant for the success of this plan.

The moon was shining over the trees and the road through the woods was difficult to drive. This was why, they didn't come in normal limousines, but with these luxurious versions of a jeep. She was wondering where they were going to. She was tired. It was exhausting to feel so many emotions during such a short period of time and Mia didn't sleep well last night. She wasn't only fighting against her doubts and fears, but against drowsiness as well. Her body needed to rest. Her wrist remembered the wound and she felt a pulsating pain in her arm.

-Where are we? – She screamed in Polish when the Russian looked at her once again.

He didn't understand her, but laughed.

-Russia? Are we in Russia? – She asked without any movement.

-Da! Среднесиби́рское плоского́рье! – Confirmed the driver in Russian and she understood that they were somewhere near the Central Siberian Plateau.

She had no clue what to do. Siberia was huge and it was impossible to run away here. It was like a death sentence. If she was on her own, she would even take this risk. However, there was Sebastian, and she didn't want him to die. Mia thought about their chances in the wild. First, they didn't know where they were and in, which direction they should escape. Then Mia assumed that Jonas was reading Sebastian's thoughts as Julian did. Under these circumstances, it was impossible to escape, because Sebastian's thoughts could betray them and their location anytime. Moreover, she didn't know how strong Jonas could perceive their smell. If this sense was as much developed as others then he would be able to follow their tracks easily.

Furthermore, it was almost impossible to distract Jonas attention for a moment long enough to run away. He was apparently as fast as Julian and Mia already knew that Julian was faster than a car and well able to find his way among the trees without crashing into them, even if he was very, very fast.

A curse upon you! Mia was cursing Jonas. It was almost impossible to get out of this. She knew where they were, Siberia, but Sebastian didn't know it and so, Julian didn't know it, either. Here was a chance to keep Julian out of it: to convince Sebastian that they were in the USA, which seemed to be far enough to protect him. And if Jonas would tell Sebastian where they actually were, Mia could still tell Sebastian that it was a trap for Julian, if she had any opportunity. Well, she wasn't sure, whether Julian would leave them alone, knowing it was a trap. On the other hand, when she told Julian that she didn't love him and saw his suffering face, she wasn't sure whether Julian was still ready to rescue her. If he wasn't, she could die in peace. Nevertheless, Sebastian was making this situation more complicated and Mia hadn't the faintest idea how to get him out of this.

While she was contemplating, the night was passing by and the early morning with its first light came out. Mia looked at the conifer forests around, the landscape was astonishing. Conifers were woody and the great majority of them had just a few shrubs.

Then they stopped. Mia turned around and saw that the car behind them had stopped as well. She didn't know what to do. Should she get out of the car? Had they already reached their destination? She jumped out of the car and looked around. It was fresh and she shivered. However, she didn't get back into the warmth of the car. There were only trees around and it took a while until she saw some stairs made from wood and stones. They were looking very archaic and under different circumstances, she would have even been charmed by this view. Now there was no time for admiration. They were standing at the bottom of a hill and apparently, they had to walk the last distance. It wasn't an easy walking distance.

In the meantime, Jonas got out of the car as well, and he looked at Mia. She couldn't read his face, so she had no idea what he was thinking of. Probably he wasn't able to define her feelings, either. The other Russian opened the boot and took Sebastian out of the car. He laid him over his shoulder like a bag and started to walk towards the stairs. Sebastian was still unconscious.

Mia followed them and Jonas looked at her.

It wasn't an easy walking distance. Mia was right. She tried not to show how tired she was. She was hungry, too. She hadn't eaten for a day and she hadn't drunk anything, either. She was weak, but she did her best to stay on her feet as long as possible. The Russian who was her driver came over and took her hand so she could lean on him. She didn't do it. She wouldn't trust anyone and if Jonas would read the mind of this Russian and notice he wanted to help her, then Mia had one more person to be worried about. Anyway, this guy didn't look nice. He was a criminal. He was working with Jonas, and which ordinary person could work without restraint for Jonas?

After having climbed the hill, they could see a house between the trees. It was a simple, wooden cottage and didn't show any signs of modern civilisation. Mia was hoping that she could sit down and drink something. She was so dehydrated that she already started to see things double.

When they came into the house (which was unlocked, just like Julian's house, Mia thought) she saw the newest technology and modern decoration. Everything was plain and simple and had cold colours: white and milk violet. It was a violet hill.

Jonas pushed her down onto a bench and she fell on it. She stretched her arms not to crush with it. Then she tried to sit down. The Russian, who was her driver brought her a glass of water after Jonas ordered him to.

Mia drank it quite quickly. Then Jonas went out of this room. Mia used the situation to look unobtrusively around again. This room was rather big, more than 30 square metres, with a free space in the middle. On the left side of the room where she was sitting were the bench and a white table. On the other side, there was a couch and opposite to the doors was a chimney. Next to chimney was a wooden door. There had to be a kitchen, assumed Mia, because the Russian brought the water from another room. The morning light came into the room through small windows. The other Russian vanished behind the doors to the kitchen, still carrying Sebastian.

-You have to go to sleep. When you'll be well rested, we will talk. – Jonas said. – It doesn't help me to talk to you in this condition.

She wanted to oppose, but she didn't have enough strength.The Russian driver came to her, took her up and let her through the room to the door. After they had left the main room, they came into a small room with an elevator and a circular staircase. The Russian waited for the lift.

When they arrived one level underground, the Russian let her along a corridor, it looked like a prison. The walls were not from wood here, but from stones. It was very cold and Mia shivered.

The Russian took her to a room almost at the end of the corridor and when they walked in, she saw a simple bed and a chair on which some clothes were laying. There was a small table with something to eat and drink and some basic cosmetic stuff.

The Russian let her to the bed and left the room. In the moment he disappeared, an old, fat woman came in, looking at Mia. The old lady was of her grandmother's age, maybe younger. She had white, plain hair and deep wrinkles. Her clothes were simple and white. Mia felt like in the Middle Ages. The old woman didn't say a word, instead she brought Mia a sandwich and a cup of tea.

Mia thanked her in many languages, but the old lady didn't answer. She didn't even smile. She waited until Mia had finished brushing her teeth and washing her face. When Mia lay on the bed the old lady covered her with a warm blanket. Then she left the room.

Mia closed her eyes, but she didn't want to fall asleep. It was hard to focus. Her body was too tired and the warm tea and the sandwich gave her the rest. She fell asleep almost immediately. Her mind was falling apart. Her dreams were broken like a mirror, which fell down from a balcony. There was no tomorrow for her. There was no hope for a happy ending like in the story of Cinderella. There were no solutions and there was no escape.

#87 OSTANUS DAY

When Mia woke up, she felt that someone was touching her hand. She almost jumped out of the bed. She opened her eyes and saw it was the old lady who changed her bandage. Mia stayed in bed and tried not to move. The bandage had to be made once again, from the very beginning.

The old lady was alarmed by Mia's behaviour. She looked at her and sadly shook her head. Mia didn't understand what the old woman wanted to tell her with this gesture. Apparently, she wanted to calm her down. She didn't say a word. She didn't make any sound.

Mia wasn't relieved. She was scared by the fact that she didn't feel anything earlier. Her new bandage was already finished. The old lady stood up and brought her a warm meal and put a cup of tea on the table, that stood right next to Mia's bed now. Mia was shocked that she didn't hear this table being moved from one corner of the room up to her bed. She tried to act self-conscious. She tried to be stronger than she was. Her own weakness and lack of reactions embarrassed her.

After she ate rice with meat and sauce, Mia stood up and took a water bottle, which stood next to her bed. She drank almost the whole litre of water. She felt weak and she didn't know why. Maybe she was still dehydrated? Now, after drinking some water, her internal balance should be at least back to a minimal level.

Mia looked at the old woman who took some clothes from the chair and showed them to Mia to change her clothes herself. Mia saw that the new clothes were looking exactly the same way like the ones she was wearing.

Mia followed the old lady's silent order and when she was ready, the Russian driver came to pick her up and she ensued him. They didn't go to the elevator, but to one of the rooms along the corridor. It was a large and empty room. Mia entered in and looked around. There was nobody. The Russian let her in and left.

Mia didn't know how late it was. There were no windows and no day light came in. It smelled like stones and an old house's cellar. It wasn't a nice smell. Then the door opened and Jonas came in. He was pulling Sebastian by his arm. It looked painful. When Jonas saw her horror, he threw Sebastian across the room, so he hit the opposite wall and fell down. Sebastian sighed. Only now she noticed that his eyes were blindfolded. He was stretching his legs and didn't know what was happening. Mia wanted to run to him, but within a second Jonas stood in front of her and blocked her way.

-Stay here. – Jonas ordered and looked back to Sebastian.

-If you want him to live, you have to follow my orders. Will you?

Mia nodded.

-I didn't hear you. – Jonas smiled crookedly and waited for her new confirmation.

-I will! – Mia screamed.

-Good, was it so hard? – Jonas said.

He stepped back, came to Sebastian, and took the bound off his eyes.

-We don't want to be alone. We can invite Julian as well, won't we? – Jonas asked sarcastically.

Mia was shocked. This wasn't going according to her plan. There was no escape.

-So, dear Mia, or should I rather say Emilia Anna. I will ask you some questions and before you answer me every single one of them, you will look into the eyes of your beloved fellow here and think over whether you're saying the whole truth. If I just get a feeling that you're not honest with me, I will do things you don't want me to do. Are we clear about it?

Jonas was speaking loud and clearly. Mia nodded.

-And, Julian, isn't she pretty tonight? A real beauty! – Jonas was laughing quite friendly, but in his eyes was a shadow of madness.

Jonas looked at Sebastian. Sebastian looked at Mia wondering what was going on and he couldn't understand anything. He had to admit that she looked gorgeous in this clothes. She was fabulous.

-So, dear Mia – started Jonas – what do you know about us?

Jonas was standing next to Sebastian who was too shocked to move.

-Not much. – Mia said with a trembling voice.

Jonas slapped Sebastian into the face. Sebastian made a step sidewards because of the strength of the aggressor.

-I hope it won't affect the transmission. – Jonas laughed cruelly looking at Mia.

Sebastian's nose was bleeding. However, he remained straight. Mia looked at him with a bleeding heart. She was still calm outside and stayed like a statue.

-So, this was your first lie, dear Mia. – said Jonas.

-I am telling the truth. I don't know much about you. – She added quickly afterwards.

-Ah, Mia, lies don't travel far. – answered Jonas, looking at her suspiciously. – When will you start telling me the truth?

-When you start asking more precise questions. – She answered before he slapped Sebastian once again.

Jonas smiled.

-You're indeed an extraordinary girl, Mia. For a human you're quite entertaining. Therefore, I redefine my question: what do you know about us exactly? Once again, I remind you that it could be painful for your friend, when I don't like your answers or if I feel you're not honest with me.

Mia swallowed and started to talk slowly, her voice was frail:

-I know that you're not human. I know that you are much faster and much stronger than anything I know in the world. I know that you can read minds and that you can kill Sebastian and me faster than we will even able to notice.

Jonas stepped closer and looked her directly into the eyes. She held his look and didn't blink.

-And that is all you know?

-Is there much more to know? – She asked almost with an enthusiastic curiosity.

Jonas looked at her as if he would see through her and she felt frozen inside. But she didn't move. She didn't breathe in or out. She held his look at her and tried to appear convincing.

-And you really don't know anything else?

-How much do I know then? – Mia asked astonished.

Sebastian believed her. She couldn't know more than she already told. However, the things, which she said were strange and seemed to be impossible. It wasn't real. It was just a bad dream. Sebastian hoped that he would wake up soon.

Jonas put his hand on her throat and pressed it slowly.

-Are you sure you have nothing else to say?

Mia felt that breathing became harder, that she didn't get enough air, that her face became red from endeavour. Nevertheless, she didn't intend to tell him anything else. Jonas pulled her higher against the wall and she couldn't feel the ground under her feet.

-Are you sure? – Jonas repeated his question and observed her watchfully.

Sebastian wanted to help her and jumped into their direction, but Jonas pushed him aside with a black light coming from his free hand. Sebastian crushed against the wall. He groaned of pain, but stood up after a while.

Jonas focused once again on Mia and as she almost didn't get any air anymore, he relaxed the pressure of his hand and let her fall. She seemed not to know anything else.

-So you don't know much for real. – He was visibly disappointed.

She tried to catch breath, but she coughed instead and it was hard to start to breath normally again. While she was laying on the bright soil, she quickly touched her neck to check that everything was fine. She wasn't hurt. She was just subdued by Jonas. She breathed in.

-You surely wonder how I achieved all this for our beloved Julian to get something of my genius. I will tell you.

Jonas walked from one corner of the room to the other drawing a continuous line between Mia and Sebastian. Mia was still laying on the floor, trying to regain the balance and calmness she had before.

-So, I already saw that there are some feelings between all of you.

Mia wasn't sure to whom Jonas was speaking right now. She followed his moves and every now and then she was looking at Sebastian. He was sitting on the ground, breathing deeply.

-It is dangerous to stay too much around human beings, Julian. You became soft. Moreover, this girl is on you. That's on you, Julian.

Jonas continued, still walking to and fro.

-In our life, we should never count on lucky occurrences. We have to plan with what we live. However, I saw you, Julian and Mia, coming with your fancy car on Monday morning. I felt you there and I am quite sure that you felt me as well. That's why you convinced Mia to stay in another place. When I saw Mia and Sebastian running together in the afternoon I knew that this boy would be useful. And I was right. You made it so easy for me! It would take me more time to find this boy than some of Mia's old friends like Viola. There are some stories about Mia, and I have some respect for her: for a human being you're a real fighter and if you were one of us, I would offer you a deal. Nevertheless, you're just a human being, a small, weak worm, which I can smash anytime I want. Furthermore, it isn't about you although it was fun to play with you as I already told you yesterday.

Jonas was very ironic, scornful and his speech was full of hate. He was shining with his brilliant idea and was enjoying the silence. Nobody wanted to interrupt his triumphal march. He started to swim in his glory.

-And then, I didn't want to allow you to enjoy the time. It wasn't you, Julian, who decided to play, but that's my rules, my decisions and your lives depend on me.

Jonas was flying in his glory.

-And I didn't want you to be happy. I always break dreams before people even start to dream. In addition, living a dream for a short while is just a price, which you pay for broken hopes. I love it to encourage people to step forward and to realize what they were internally wanting to. Then they feel like flying and living a dream and within one second I take them back to reality. And this new reality looks indeed more hideous than before, before they started to dream. This downfall is the greatest satisfaction for me. I see it as my job to show people what they really are: a weak existence without perspective. That's what I like: to see the resignation in their eyes and to see their hate and lack of sense of what they are doing.

Jonas's bright smile dominated the room.

-And this case wasn't so different. It is so easy to predict people and make plans for them. I don't have to try hard. I played my trick and called for Mia. I focused your attention on Mia and when she broke up with you – Jonas looked at Mia and added quickly – unfortunately unnecessarily as we all know now, I was already on my way to play the second trick. Consequently, I had enough time to catch Sebastian, and then to follow Mia. I wasn't sure whether you, Julian, would come to me just because I had one of them. Now I have them both and I can play it as I want.

Jonas came to Mia.

-You can rely on Mia, indeed you can. – He stroked her cheek and a second later, he hit her her hard in the stomach.

She couldn't breathe and she automatically hugged her tummy. Then he slapped her again, hit the leg where she was wounded.

-You see, Julian, I knew that she isn't as extraordinary as you think. She's just a human being and additionally a stupid teenager. It was so obvious that she will try to leave the city after she had nothing more to lose. A stupid, predictable girl.

Jonas hit her once again into the stomach and this time it was even stronger than the first time. She crushed. She fell on the ground. She coughed blood. Sebastian tried to stand up, but before he could even moved, Jonas was already in front of him and had caught his throat.

-You'll stay here and you will be quiet. – It wasn't a request, it was a strict order.

Sebastian nodded as far as he could. Jonas made a step back and was walking from one end of the room to the other and back again.

-Where was I? – Jonas asked himself. – Yes, indeed it was so obvious that she will try to escape. Of course, I was there. My people were watching the railway stations, and informed me when they saw her. I was sitting opposite her all the way to Berlin and she didn't notice me. Of course, she didn't notice me! She's a human! She's a crush-test dummy! In addition, when she left the train and stood there like a dumb all evening and half of the night, it was only because of me that she wasn't attacked or approached. You know that Germans are like Americans: always scared of a terrorist attack. They look at everybody as a suspicious character. Idiots!

Jonas was triumphing and celebrating himself exaggeratedly. As he was talking, Mia realized that nothing she ever got was truly belonging to her.

-But, Julian, the best piece is yet to come. A really brilliant idea. I told her that I still needed her, but if it was only up to me, I would have killed her already when she was three years old and I wouldn't have waited until now. She was a strange child and she always stayed this way up to now.

Jonas stopped for a while and remembered his first meeting with Mia. His eyes were not shiny, they were rather strange. There was something that wasn't so obvious for him. There was a riddle. He was asking himself something. However, it didn't take long and he returned to his victory march.

-It is ridiculous. She was hoping that you won't come here and that you won't find her. And she thought it was about her. From the very beginning it was about me and you, Julian. So if you have any power, come here. You're welcome! Be our guests!

Jonas was screaming ironically while looking at Sebastian. Jonas smiled steadily jagged. His eyes showed a perfect mix of hate and. By hook or by crook, he was going to win this game. He was so sure that Julian wouldn't step by.

-You see, Julian, it is all up to me when and where we meet. You and the others, you have no idea where to find me. It is me who decides how this is going to go. Now you know how it is to be banished. You're banished from your love; you're banished from the one, who was so important to you that you even told her who you are!

He came closer to Sebastian and tied his hands with the cloth, that was tied over his eyes before. As soon as Jonas finished, he went back to Mia, took her wrist, and pulled her up. Jonas looked at Sebastian with demonic satisfaction and said like a winner:

-Look, Julian, take a last look at your shiny, human, fallen star, who apparently doesn't appreciate my strength.

Then Jonas' fingers smashed Mia's hand and as she didn't lose consciousness, he shook her. She was like a puppet in his hands. She was hanging in the air and her feet couldn't reach the ground. Blood was dripping vividly onto the ground. Jonas held her hand and she screamed because of the pain. She was still able to perceive what he was doing to her.

-You can beg for mercy, Mia. – Jonas whispered into her ear, watching her very carefully. – Just one word and everything will stop. I can show mercy sometimes.

She didn't look like she was going to request anything. In addition, Jonas wasn't merciful. He even didn't play the merciful one.

Then Jonas let her fall. And she fell onto the ground.

-And, Julian, how does it feel inside? However, the best is always being saved for the end. You didn't know it, because you never practise it. We can indeed absorb abilities of other beings. So I will take her life and she will be a part of me. I will get to know all of her thoughts and wishes and you won't stop me, because you're not as great as I am. You're weak and you never manage to cross the line between us.

Jonas bent down over Mia and took her smashed hand. Then he pulled her up into the air once again. She was hanging in the air like a puppet. Jonas held her across her throat as well and then he waved with her hand, he waved good-bye with her hand. Before she even noticed, he hit her in her face and her head fell down onto her right shoulder. Her nose was bleeding.

Mia's gaze wasn't sharp anymore. Her stomach was one big pain. It was pulsating and she felt blood everywhere. She was gulping blood, she was smelling blood and she felt it running down on her skin and even flowing internally. Was it possible to feel blood streaming inside of you? She didn't really notice that her wrist was badly hurt, too. She just felt an increasing wave of heat. Pain and suffering were written on her face. Nevertheless, she clenched her teeth and tried not to give Jonas any satisfaction. It was hard. It was the hardest thing she was ever doing. Jonas was visibly disappointed by her behaviour. He expected her to beg for mercy or at least to look like a looser.

Everything Mia tried to hide came out from the deep of her heart. Jonas had told her that she wasn't the one who was valuable in this game. Neither she, nor her family. With every cell, she felt the range of emotions inside. She was divided and lost. For the first time in her life she was as lost as a stone, which you throw away into a lake. And she was very aware of it. She was in a sea of emotions and she was drowning.

She wasn't able to swim up to the surface and take a breath. She was drowning rapidly and the deeper she fell the less she could see. There was nothing but darkness in front of her eyes. She tried to steady herself against the wall, stretched her arm carefully, tried to feel the wall. It had to be close. Her hand was trembling and her heart was beating slower and slower. She felt like she wouldn't get another breath. An invisible power took her by the throat and strangled her. She felt the surface of the wall and leant against it. She couldn't see anything. Darkness ruled everywhere. She tried to breathe in, but it was impossible. Her efforts to get any air were unsuccessful.

He threw her across the room and she smashed against the opposite wall. She fell down and before she could take another breath, Jonas held her neck in his hand and his fingers pressed on her throat more and more. The air couldn't find a way into her lung. In addition, there was a black, gloomy light streaming out of her as if he would suck out her energy.

She closed her eyes. She couldn't see anything anymore. It didn't matter. She closed her eyes so tight that she was able to hold her tears. Tears gathered in her eyes, waiting to flow, if she didn't keep her eyes shut tightly. Maybe, it would be possible, if she had more strength. She was even too weak to cry.

This situation made her furious, disappointed, she took herself to her own borders and she remained politically correct and diplomatic as always. Otherwise, she would have been lost from the very beginning. Dead man is always walking on the thin red line. It was the 4th degree of danger. Damn it.

But at the same time these feelings were overwhelmed by a great shadow and she felt powerless. This hurt her more. Inside she was throwing herself here and there. She was walking on thin ice. Dead woman was walking instead of her. She was curious when it would all crash down. The scratches had been there for a long time.

Thousands of words, millions of associations, lack of sense in all this chaos and here she was looking for some emotions. Today she didn't feel much at all. She felt empty inside and outside. She left him, and this would echo through all eternity. She was feeling great nothing. She was just smelling blood and while she opened her eyes with difficulty, she was convinced she was looking on snow and it seemed logical that it was her blood.

She thought: Cogito ergo sum, I think, therefore I am. I suppose you can still see a shadow of me. Let me die. Let me rest in peace. There is nothing of me anywhere. I can't live like this anymore.

Then I thought I needed one minute to notice him, one hour to judge him and one day to fall in love with him. Now I need the whole eternity to forget him. I hadn't have so much time. I was dying now. I love him and I was dying.

In addition, she knew that he won't come. However, she was relieved by this fact. She could almost die in peace now. She only hoped that Sebastian would manage to survive. Unfortunately, Julian had no clue where to search for them. She wasn't able to give him any helpful hints, but she was proud of it. He wasn't the one who would die today. This was her personal satisfaction.

#88 WITH SWORD AND FIRE

Jonas left her there laying on the ground and came to Sebastian. The boy was shocked. He wasn't able to move or to speak. He was sure that Mia was already dead, because she was laying there like a doll. Her hand was one bloody thing, her leg was bend in an unnatural way and her chest didn't move.

-So, Julian – said Jonas and looked Sebastian into the eyes. – I hope we will see us soon. It would be a pleasure for me.

Then Jonas left surprisingly the room. Sebastian stood up and jumped over to Mia. His hands were tied, but he managed to check her pulse. It was still there. It was very weak, but it was there. He couldn't even whisper anything. A voice in his head ordered him to talk to her: "Never give up on anything; you always have something to fight for". He spoke it out loud, and kept repeating it like a mantra.

-Mia, never give up on anything, you always have something to fight for. Fight for me, fight for Julian.

He took her into his arms and with this sleeves, he cleaned the blood from her face. He was losing her. He felt her life was going to end. She got weaker and weaker and she got colder and colder. Her dress was full of blood and slowly it became more red than silver.

Her eyes were closed and her heart beat slower and slower.

-Mia, you can't go away. You can't leave me alone here. Timeless, Mia, life is no life without you. Please, stay. Timeless.

Sebastian didn't know what he was talking about, something inside of him spoke through his soul and forced him to speak foreign words.

In this moment, the door opened so rapidly that a wave of cold air came into the room. It was Jonas again. He stood over Sebastian, looking at him angrily:

-What did you say?! – Jonas screamed so loud that even the walls trembled a bit.

Sebastian didn't look at the enemy and kept Mia even more tightly in his arms.

-You heard what I said. I won't repeat it for you.

Jonas was furious. He wanted to slap Sebastian, but in this moment too many things happened at once. Sebastian wasn't able to perceive all of them.

As Jonas yelled at Sebastian and raised his hand to hit him, Julian showed up in the door. He was mad, he was furious and he jumped so hastily at Jonas that Jonas was pushed away and smashed against the opposite wall. Some stones fell down.

When Jonas realised who attacked him, he starred at Julian and smiled. Julian looked shortly at Mia and Sebastian and saw the disaster. However, now wasn't the time to lose his focus. He released Sebastian from his ties and ordered him to take Mia out of the room. Sebastian stood up, took Mia's body and was gone.

Now there were only two enemies in the room.

Jonas was shocked.

-How did you find me? – He stunned.

Julian's face wasn't showing any emotion. His eyes were burning, he was burning inside, but outside he remained calm.

-You omitted that she will give me a message.

Jonas was ironically smiling at him and showed his teeth like wild animals do when they want to scare the rival. Julian was facing him. Jonas was observing him very watchfully, and stepped slowly aside.

-What did I miss? You can't read her mind, and the other human didn't know anything. Explain it to me, how did it work?

-She gave me a simple message. Never underestimate anybody, not even a human.

Jonas was surprised; he couldn't believe he had missed something. His plan was perfect. He wanted to make Julian mad and he managed it. They should have met later in another place. Everything was already prepared. Jonas hated improvisations.

Julian was here. He was angry and his fury made it impossible to evaluate him. Jonas wanted to hear from Mia if Julian had the special skills, that were named in the prediction. It could validate the prophecy or prove that it wasn't true.

-Are you the one, Julian? Is it worth to kill you? – Jonas asked and smiled politely.

There was no sarcasm in his voice. He was serious about it. He was talking with somebody who was more or less equal to him.

Julian remained emotionless. He didn't answer the question. Then at the same time the room was filled with black and sapphire-like light. You couldn't see anything else than these lights. When the energies crossed, the reaction was like on a circuit of an enormous scale. There was energy fighting with itself. The energy wasn't now just in the room, but spread and filled other rooms as well. The black-sapphire light was everywhere and accomplished the whole house and every single with room.

Sebastian wanted to leave this house. He was trying to open the door handle when he saw the wave of black-sapphire light coming closer to him. In the last second he managed to open the door, but he stumbled and lost Mia. He was laying on the ground and skidded aside. Mia was laying directly in the doorway and then the black-sapphire light came through the door and covered Mia. Sebastian didn't see her anymore. It was too late to get her out of this light.Sebastian tried to jump into this light cloud, but it was impossible. He got some stitches as if he would get a light electric shock.

Then the house started trembling and instinctively Sebastian jumped aside searching for cover below the trees. While he was sliding towards the roots of the trees, he was still looking for Mia. But he still couldn't see her. Then the earthquake came and the trees, the ground and the entire surrounding started to shake. Sebastian hid himself behind trees and in this moment there was an explosion.

A white cloud of energy came out of nowhere, smashed the black light, as well as the sapphire light.

It looked like an atomic disintegration. Everything was so bright that Sebastian couldn't see anything. The white light dazzled him so much that he put his head down on the grass and sand. It was a furious energy, set free by this explosion. A second later, it was so hot around that Sebastian couldn't breathe, because the air was biting his throat. It was like during a fire: he had to breathe the tongues of fire. The air was burning hot. His clothes and hair got slightly burned by this explosion as well.

Slowly ashes and pieces from the house started to rain down and Sebastian was hit by some wooden parts and stones falling down from above. He didn't care about it. He tried to go back to where the house stood only a few minutes ago, and all he could see was a chaos. There was no house and no trace of Mia and Julian nor the guy who kidnapped him. Sebastian shook his head, while standing there with the mouth open and very confused. The he ran back to the stone piles and wooden pieces, that were laying around and started to dig and to look for his friends. But the stones were too heavy and the woods hurt his hands. He didn't give up and kept trying to find a trace of Mia or Julian.

He was sure that this situation couldn't come any weirder, when he saw three beings wearing white tunics. They raised from the ashes. They looked like angels. The first of them was male and was a little older than Julian was, with blond hair and green eyes. His face was beautiful and symmetrical. He was carrying the body of Julian. The second one of them was a female and she had blond hair, too. She looked like a goddess. The third one was an older male and he carried the body of Mia.

If they had wings, Sebastian would have sworn he saw angels. They were stepping out of the disaster cloud with sad faces. Their tunics were long and white. Calmness beamed from them. The first one put down the body of Julian onto the grass and shook his head disapprovingly. The other male lied down the body of Mia next to Julian's corpse and the woman looked at Sebastian. Sebastian was sure he was dreaming. It was all just a bad dream with a quite surprising end. He waited to wake up with a bitter feeling inside of him.

The woman smiled friendly and then she spread her hands. The other two beings did the same and rays of light in three different colours came from their hands: a green one, a blue one and a grey one. The blue one wasn't the same like the sapphire-like coloured light before. It was deep blue with some different tinge. The lights connected and melted into one, becoming one white stream of light, that was aimed at Julian. Nothing happened. Julian was laying on the grass like a fallen monument.

At the same time Mia breathed in air and coughed as if something got stuck in her throat. She opened her eyes and reached with her smashed hand to her neck. The old man came closer to her, bowed over her and whispered something to her. He caught her hands covering them with his. He was still whispering something, but Sebastian couldn't understand what he was saying.

It took a while before the old man stepped back from Mia. At the same time the light from hands of the beautiful strangers didn't stop to flow into Julian.

Mia stood up slowly, with difficulty. Her dress was still silver-red, but in the light of the strangers, it was shining glamorous and cute. Sebastian noticed that Mia was very weak, but she looked at Julian's body and stepped closer to him. She didn't make steps; she was almost crawling to him. She sat next to him and touched his chest.

Sebastian encouraged himself to go closer to Mia and sat down next to her. The strangers were watching them. She shook her head and tears were running down her cheeks. One of her hands was looking normal, but she herself as one made a crushed impression. She bowed down to Julian's body and laid her head on his chest.

-Mia, what do you feel? – asked the old angel.

Mia didn't even look at him. After he repeated his question a couple of times, she reacted finally:

-Nothing. I feel nothing.

The old man mumbled something; it was directed to his companions. Then the beautiful woman laid her hand on Sebastian's shoulder and spoke:

-Mia, Sebastian, we have to go.

Sebastian stood up, but Mia didn't move. She was still bent over Julian's body as if she didn't hear what was said. The three strangers were looking at her with sadness in their eyes. The old man came to her and when he touched her, she stood up slowly. He took her aside and whispered:

-Mia, you have to rest.

Mia smiled wryly. There was no hope. Julian was gone. She was still alive, and it was all her fault. She was caught in the middle between life and death.

-Mia, we will see us later.

The old man smiled sadly. He looked at her damaged hand, at her wounds, at her emotionless face. Mia nodded without being convinced. In the meanwhile, the other male took Julian's body into his arms and it the next second they were gone.

Sebastian didn't see how they disappeared into the air. He concentrated himself at Mia who was standing next to him. His Mia was damaged. His Mia was Julian's Mia as well. Julian was gone.

Sebastian tried to follow the stream of his thoughts and everything seemed to be complicated and screwed up.

The old man took Mia's hand and then he took Sebastian's hand. The whole world twisted around.

#89 NEVER FORGET

It was late in the morning when Sebastian woke up. The sun was shining into his apartment and he felt desperate. He wore his t-shirt and his Marky Mark boxer shorts. In fact, he didn't care about what he was wearing. He thought of Mia, jumped out of his bed, and ran into other room where Mia should have been.

The only thing he remembered was that Julian called him and that Mia didn't come back to his apartment after school.

He wasn't able to remember what happened last night, but he had a crazy dream, Mia was there and Julian was there. It was creepy. It was a sleepy hollow horror show. He had to check whether Mia was all right and whether Julian was OK.

He ran out of his bedroom and as he came into the living room, he saw Mia sitting at the table. She was looking quite tired. She looked as if she hadn't had enough sleep and her eyes were sad. She wore a Hello Kitty shirt and had the cup with the banana cow in front of her. The living room smelled of fresh coffee and Sebastian thought that he had never seen Mia drinking coffee before. She didn't look into his direction, but she was aware of his presence.

-Mia, I am so relieved to see you here. You won't believe what I have dreamt!

Sebastian was loud. He was happy and indeed haywire. He was full of energy and therefore he was moving fast and uncoordinated. He didn't know what was going on with him, but he was sure that it was a nice surprise not to need coffee to have so much energy.

-Mia, it was a dream like I never ever had before!

Mia didn't move. She was emotionless. She was focused on the cup, she held in her left hand. She was calm and quiet. The boy jumped to her and only when he was very close to her, he noticed her right hand was bandaged. He stretched out his hand and took her hand. He laid it on the table and in his eyes was one big question. She allowed him to move her hand as he wanted to, she was like a doll right now. Sebastian was shocked.

-Was it not a dream?! Mia?! Tell me, it was just a bad dream! Mia?!

He kept repeating these words and shook his head fiercely. It was unbelievable. He screamed into her ear, he jumped around, and he was everywhere hoping for an answer. Nothing. Mia was like a statue, you can see in a museum. She didn't react to anything. She was staring at her cup with blank eyes and kept breathing slowly.

Sebastian felt the need to smash something. The quieter she was the more furious Sebastian became. He stepped away from her, then he came back dynamically, then he went away again. His arms were moving in almost every direction, from his head up to the walls. He was too unsettled to calm down.

Mia sat at the table with her cup, the other hand still laying on the table where he had put it. Sebastian became mad. He came closer once again; he took her bandaged hand and squeezed it. Mia didn't react.

-Mia, are you there? Mia, please, talk to me!

She didn't react.

Then Sebastian pressed her hand even more, she had to feel the pain. However, she still didn't react. He hurt her, but she didn't bother. He wanted answers; he wanted a sign, a word, and hope.

He would surely explode any moment. He took her cheeks into his hands and wobbled her as much as it was needed to bring her back to life. He was already shaking her but she still didn't react. Her eyes were empty, and her soul was somewhere else. Coffee was spilled on the table and started dropping down to the floor.

Surely, Sebastian would have hurt her more without even thinking about what he was doing, but in this moment three beings appeared in Sebastian's living room. They were quieter than the silence in this room and faster than anything humans knew. They were wearing white clothes. Xenia wore a white dress and the other two had white, very good-looking suits.

Those were the three beings from Sebastian's dream. The oldest one took him away from Mia. She fell back into the same position as before.

-Let me introduce us, Sebastian. – said the old being slowly and his calmness filled the room. – I am Leonard, this is a part of my family, Xenia and Lucius. They will take care of you. They will tell you what you should know.

Sebastian starred at the old man, thinking he was in another nightmare. Xenia stepped forward and took Sebastian by his hand. He relaxed even faster than anyone would think. They went to the kitchen. Lucius followed them and only Leonard and Mia stayed in the living room.

-Mia. – started the old man peacefully.

She didn't react. She was like a rock.

Leonard came closer and bent down over her. He wanted to look her into the eyes, but she closed them.

-Am I invisible, because you ignore me?

-If you want to kill me, please. It will relieve me. – She said surprisingly and her voice was strong.

-I don't intend to kill you. – Leonard answered like a father asked by a three years old who just damaged a toy.

-May I leave now?

-You don't want to talk with me?

-About what?

Mia was calm, controlled and Leonard had no idea what she was thinking about.

-We saw what happened and we know that you were very important for Julian. For that reason I cannot punish you. I know that it is hard for you, but it is our common loss...

-What do you want from me? – Mia opened her eyes and looked into the old, vivid eyes of the old man.

Leonard watched her very cautiously. Her look was strong. Her face was hurt, her soul was hurt, her body was hurt, but there was an extraordinary strength inside of her. She needed time. This talk wouldn't lead anywhere. She needed to gather her broken pieces together.

-Nothing.

-Am I allowed to go away?

-Yes.

Mia stood up and went into the room where she was supposed to sleep for the next couple of days. She dressed into her jeans and the top, which Julian bought her. Then she left the house.

#90 (I CAN FEEL YOUR) HALO

The Saski Park was shining in the sun like a precious jewel. The trees were green and the sky was blue. She ran as fast as she could. Her body sent her signals to stop running in this condition. Her stomach was crushed, her hand was crushed, and her entire body was crushed. Every doctor would order her to stay in a hospital for some days and rest.

Her face was looking tired. Mia had cleaned herself from the blood today, but the feeling of having blood all over her face stayed. Her hand was damaged and needed medical care. Her stomach was wounded, and every doctor would order a surgery. But Mia didn't feel anything of it. She was running. She was running away from the apartment where Julian's family members came to visit. She ran away from her thoughts and her past.

In that moment, she realized, she was running to the bridge where she had met Julian once. Not long ago he had come towards her from the pillars. She was running to a place where her hopes had met him once. She wanted to believe that it would happen again. All she needed was to see his face, to see his smile, to feel his hand on her cheek, and to see her face in his eyes. Julian, where are you?! Julian, show up!

Her body warned her long enough about its bad condition, and now the rest of her bodily problems started to follow through with their own claims. Some meters away from the place where she had met Julian, Mia collapsed and fell on the green grass. Her mind could be occupied with as many thoughts as it wanted, but her body had its needs, too.

She fell in the grass, but she still didn't feel pain. Her eyes saw the blue sky, reminding her of Julian's sapphire-like eyes. She was addicted to his love, and still loved him with the same strength. This love went wrong. Now, she had lost herself.

She remembered how she laid in Julian's arms and with a glimpse of an eye she saw Julian appearing. He shouldn't be there. He wasn't supposed to be killed. But she killed him twice.

She looked at the sky and observed how it changed during the day. She tried to stay focused at what was happening in the sky. Then her thoughts couldn't attack her anymore and she finally had some peace in her head.

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

Mia was so alone. Her love was gone. She wished her life would end in this moment. She was too emotional to cry. There were so many tears inside her and she was so sad that it would be enough for the whole universe. She had built walls around her and when she had an opportunity to tear them down, she didn't do it. She should have told Julian about Jonas. Julian broke his rules; she should have broken hers as well. She didn't have any doubts about Julian and still she destroyed everything, because she didn't trust him enough to tell her story. She should have broken every rule she had. Now it was too late.

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

She would never see him coming to her again. He was her past. He was her past like so many other people. Everything she loved was her past already. She was screwed forever. From them both, from the duo of an almost immortal and mortal being, this was the end of the road for the first one. How probable was this?

Only in the moment, you realize what happened, you can see the entire battle field. You can see losses and the risks that were taken. Mia was aware of the losses. Mia thought that she should have died instead of Julian, he should have stayed alive. Her longing for Julian was overwhelming her like a black hole. There was no future without him. There was no life, no happiness, no hope and no sense in this world without him. It would be easier to know that he was invisible, that he was somewhere else on earth, and that he was alive. Such thoughts would help her to wake up every day. Even if she would never see him again, the certainty that he was alive would be a reward itself. She had no hope left. The black hole swallowed her.

She should keep away from every being on this planet to save it. She was the messenger of death. She was the herald of damage. She was screwed and she was screwing anyone who was in contact with her. What remained were her memories. Julian came to save her. He was fighting for her. He still loved her after what she had done to him. He loved her and he will always be a part of her. Her love killed him. His love saved her.

Julian wouldn't leave her no matter what would happen. She shouldn't leave him either. She had to fight for him against the one who took them apart. She had to raise up against the one who had stolen her luck. There was no escape anymore, there was just a stop sign and the certainty that sometimes there was nowhere to hide from all the pain inside. Sometimes you had to use this pain to go on. Sometimes you had to use your anger to fight.

Mia had to find her anger and her fury. She had to feel Julian's halo. She had to stand up.

#91 HOW TO SAFE A LIFE

It was already late in the evening. It was fresh outside, and Mia was still laying in the grass at the river Wisla. On the bridge, one car after the other was driving in both directions. Their lights were playing with the river's surface.

The stars and the moon were clearly visible and looking at Mia. They tried to win her attention by shining and smiling to her. But Mia's heart was empty. Her soul was empty. There was just a black hole inside of her. Her eyes didn't move. Her body didn't move. She was dead inside.

She didn't react as Leonard appeared from nowhere. He was simply there and sit next to her.

-Mia, it is hard to explain. I barely speak with people. I rather exchange my thoughts with my family.

Mia still laid like a rock and didn't respond. Leonard didn't look at her, but at the moon which was like a friendly spotlight in the sky.

-I know you're hurt. I know that I won't break you, because you're already broken. I can only help you to put your pieces together. There is not much time, Mia. We can make time pass slower, but it won't help. There is no time and we have to act.

Mia didn't move. Leonard was talking to a wall.

-I don't ask you to help us. I ask you to help Sebastian. He is important for fulfilling the prediction and he won't manage it without your help. Don't do it for us, don't do it for yourself, but do it for Sebastian. Do it for Julian. Julian was responsible for Sebastian and I ask you to overtake this task. It would be Julian's wish, I suppose.

Leonard didn't stop talking with his warm and calm voice.

-I promised something to Julian. Our talk was short and in fact, he told me just to carry over the first thing I see. He was in a hurry and therefore it was impossible to exchange further thoughts. He just told me where we should meet. I don't know how he managed to locate Jonas. I don't know many things which is a new situation for me. I don't know how to deal with it. I can't read your thoughts and I don't know much about you. You were important for Julian, he trusted you and therefore I trust you. Please trust me, too.

Mia didn't move. Every time Leonard mentioned Julian, her heart collapsed. An emotion showed up briefly in her empty eyes and her breath stayed in her lungs. Leonard was almost convinced that she won't ever move again. She was extraordinary and he could reconstruct easily why she was so fascinating for Julian. Her power was noticeable, even now when she was so broken and damaged.

-We know that Jonas is still alive. We don't know which role Sebastian will play. We don't know how to prepare him. He can make it easier to find our dear friend who is able to turn back the time. We strongly believe that it is still possible to find a different end to this story. Help us to make it real. Help yourself to find your happy end. Help us to get Julian back.

For the first time, she looked at him. Suddenly, she had so much sadness in her eyes that she could hardly see anything.

-I can't move, because my body is too weak, I can't move, because I am broken inside. You will need someone who can really help you. You don't need me at all. Please, leave me here and let me die.

She didn't trust this being. Leonard was visibly interested in her and he already asked her for help. Therefore, it was impossible to entirely trust him. If Julian's family was so strong and great, why didn't they appear earlier? Where were they, when Julian needed them? Why would they allow her to live and even explain everything to Sebastian, if it was forbidden? Were they desperate and needed human help? If she would clarify anything to them, would she still be alive?

Mia wasn't sure what the intention of Leonard and the other two beings were. She didn't want to open her soul to someone who stepped into her life so suddenly and didn't make any impression on her. When she met Julian, she knew from the very beginning that he was special. She loved him even though she didn't know him, even if he wouldn't have explained his special skills to her.

When she met Sebastian, she trusted him from the very beginning. There was a connection between them and therefore, Mia was ready to stay with him, when he needed her. But what should convince her to work with Leonard and his family?

-Mia, you won't die, not now. You have to stand up and fight. The Mia who loved Julian would help to save lives. If you stay here, everything Julian cared about will be killed. It will be a sign that you don't care about Julian, Sebastian and any human being in this world. Think about it. We will wait for you until sunrise. Then we have to move on. It is too dangerous for Sebastian to stay here. As I already said, we don't have time. We have to act. You need to act. You need to stand up and fight. Everyone will die, but not everyone lives his life in a way that he is allowed to die in peace. If you will die without having lived your life and without fighting for what is important to you, your death doesn't really matter.

Then he disappeared.

Mia kept laying there without moving. She still wasn't able to feel her body, she still wasn't able to feel her internal pain.

It was a clear May night. The stairs were shining and the moon was playing with the clouds. Yesterday at this time, she was almost pushed down into the lights of Berlin's streets. Two days ago at this time, she was lying in a bed in Sebastian's apartment and Julian was stroking her hair.

Mia closed her eyes. She wanted to remember how it was to feel his touch. It didn't work. She felt nothing. There was just an empty space around her and neither the bad emotions nor the good memories showed their intensity. She felt nothing at all.

#92 LOVE WILL COME THROUGH

-She won't come. – said Lucius and looked at Xenia.

-We need her. – answered Xenia calmly.

-It won't work out.

-All the time you are blaming others for your problems, you are giving them control over your life. We have to take the risk, if it is needed. We have to wait for her.

They were sitting at the table in the living room of Sebastian's apartment and waited. Sebastian was sleeping in his bed and they could hear him snoring.

-She won't come.

In fact, they didn't talk. They exchange their thoughts. Their lips weren't moving, but their talk was taking place here, in this room. After Lucius's statement, nobody thought about anything for a while.

-It is strange that he had recovered so fast. – wondered Lucius.

-It was because of the rays that were everywhere. One of them surely touched him and if that, what Jonas said, is true, Sebastian could have gotten some of our power and it healed him. – added Xenia.

-It is only possible to heal people, it is still impossible to transfer our skills. – explained Leonard. –We have made experiments and we know for sure it is not working.

Then they fell silent again.

The three beings looked at each other confused. Xenia was playing with her blond hair and Lucius was looking here and there. Only Leonard was sitting calmly, spreading out serenity.

-With this story, some facts are very strange to me. –Leonard started and the other two looked at him with curiosity. – How did Philotheos become Jonas. We don't know what he was doing and what he had learnt in the meanwhile. We arrived too late to help Julian, and we were too late to see Jonas. The only picture of him we have we pulled from Sebastian's memories. In fact, Sebastian's memory is quite diffuse. He was focussed on Mia. However, these memories still show us enough to be sure with whom we have to deal. Then, there is this girl. Julian kept her secret and we don't know for how long. We don't know what was going on between them and we can't read her mind. She blocks us and I hope that our Wisemen will be able to overcome her blocking system. Last, but not least, Sebastian won't go away from here without her. He has feelings for her and he is important for her, as well.

-Mia's love for Julian and for Sebastian is something that makes her life so special. We need her to complete the puzzle. – Xenia agreed.

-We need more information about her. I still don't trust her. – Lucius added.

-Why not? – Leonard was curious.

-She has influence. If it impossible to make this boy come with us without her, it is a bad sign for me.

The other two beings nodded.

-What's bothering me is that it is impossible to be at two different places at once. – said Xenia. – And Sebastian was surely with Philotheos yesterday. Surprisingly, Julian sent us a message and we know that Sebastian was seen yesterday in Zurich. I can't explain it other than with the time theory. He has to be the One. The facts have been checked and confirmed. Sebastian was in Zurich yesterday and at the same time, he was with Philotheos. I checked his style of writing, I checked his signature, and everything matches.

-It is strange. He is has so much energy today. It is not normal for a human being to be so nervous and energetic. When Xenia told him about us, he couldn't sit peacefully, he looked hyped. In fact, he took the news rather well. He wasn't as surprised as we assumed he would be.

The other two kept silence. There were many unknowns in this game and Mia seemed to be one of the keys. Sebastian was even more important, he seemed to possess more skills than anybody assumed up to now.

It was already early morning. The sun woke up and its first sun rays shone on sleeping Warsaw. You could hear the wind in the morning trees.

-It is time. – Lucius announced and before he ended the sentence, Xenia was already at the bed of Sebastian. She woke him up and smiled at him.

Sebastian smiled shyly back. He looked around and in his eyes showed a question for Mia. He jumped out of his bed and it didn't take him long to get dressed.

-No, she didn't show up. – said Xenia friendly, because he was still searching for Mia. - It is very hard for us, too, but we have to move on.

-She will come, we have to wait. – Sebastian assured.

Without Mia, this situation wasn't bearable for him. He didn't want to take this risk on his own. He needed his friend to be here. If these beings were right, Julian was very hurt and needed their help. But where was Mia? She was supposed to be here already long ago. What did she have to think through? Was she all right? She didn't look good. In fact, she looked bad.

Sebastian could understand her fears. This ugly and cruel bastard wanted to kill her. She was beaten and she collapsed. If she had fears about being hurt again, Sebastian wasn't able to swear he could protect her. He could swear to do his best to protect her. Compared to these beings, he was a weak human. But they needed his help and he had to help.

Sebastian was overwhelmed by this new information. Knowing that Julian was one of "them" was somehow frightening. However, he didn't feel betrayed. He understood his friend and his reasons. Now, everything about Julian fell into the right place. It became obvious how Julian could have only friends and no enemies, how Julian was able to evaluate people and situations. Therefore, he felt betrayed by Mia. She knew who Julian was and she hadn't told him. She was privileged to have such knowledge and she didn't share it. Obviously, she didn't trust him. How could you keep such a secret to yourself?

Sebastian didn't know everything about these creatures, but their skills and power were fascinating. He enjoyed the new task and wanted to spend more time with such great, influential beings. At the same time, he missed Mia and was sure that she had to have her reasons. What was bothering him even more was that Mia and Julian were somehow connected. Until now, nobody explained him how strong this connection was. Surely, there was something between them both. Sebastian wanted to know.

Xenia told him that they would tell him more about them later. At first, they had to travel and change location. Jonas could follow them and the most important was to protect Sebastian. Sebastian didn't know why he was so important to them. He enjoyed this status, but he didn't understand the reasons.

Now, when Sebastian came into the living room, the three special beings turned their heads towards the door. Sebastian couldn't hear Mia like they did. They heard her steps on the staircase and Lucius was the only one who wasn't relieved. Sebastian smiled. He knew that she would come. Love always wins.

Leonard stood up and waited at the door for Mia. It took some minutes for her to arrive on the top of the stairs. Finally she appeared in the corridor and saw four faces looking at her with different emotions, she continued to walk in. She looked all of them. Leonard was curious about her burning eyes, Xenia was smiling friendly and Lucius was watching her very carefully.

Mia didn't smile, Mia wasn't sad, either. Her eyes were burning with a strange, undefined fire. There was strength and desperate longing for hope.

Sebastian stepped forward and the others observed this two human beings.

-Mia, they told me there is hope. I know that you are my person. Let me be your person. We have to help Julian and there is no time to lose. He is somehow brain-damaged, if he would be a human, he would be brain damaged. I don't know how much it is possible and how much it is real. I just know that we have to help him, if we have the possibility.

Sebastian was talking like a machine gun that was shooting out the words rapidly without breaks. He didn't even take breath, when he started a new sentence. He was excited in a very nervous way. He was feeling the nervousness in the air, in his body, with all his mind and he wasn't able to calm down without Mia's help. He was visibly wound up.

-We are leaving Warsaw. We are leaving Poland. We are leaving everything behind what made us who we are. Mia, we need you. I need you. Help me to understand it. Am I already crazy? Is it all real?

Surprisingly, she hugged Sebastian and while she held Sebastian close, something even more strangely happened: her thought appeared in the air and the three special beings decoded it.

"Nobody loses by daring. However, you may lose while waiting for the right moment of time. I lost so much already, and it will never happen again."

-It's OK. I am here for you, Sebastian. I am here for you.

Sebastian was visibly calmer and quieter. His heart was still racing, but he was on his way to a normal condition. He wasn't dreaming, he wasn't hallucinating, he became a conscious part of something bigger than other humans were allowed to know.

It was the first step to a new beginning. It was a start of a strange, unforeseeable way. It was the right direction. Love should come through someday.

Thank You! (July 2010)

If I would say just a simple "Thank you", it wouldn't describe my gratitude even in the smallest range. The human languages are mostly limited when it is about describing emotions and feelings. Therefore, take my "Thank you" and be sure that it's much, much more than just words captured in black letters. My journey with "Lovefool" started as I have seen the first scenes in front of my eyes, somewhere on the way between my university, my apartment, between course of examinations, masses of the professional literature for my work papers and every other work needed in my life. Already as my journey began, I met many people who accompanied me and who would still (hopefully) accompany me. The first great critics were my closest friends and then, the team at Scholar Online Europe. These people encouraged me and took away from me many tasks, fears and obligations that caught me up to that time like a boa. My first book "Lovefool" was published in English (at the moment, it gets a second grammar check - thank to Jacqueline). And my life has changed rapidly. In the meantime, my book is no work just of mine, but a common project of many people, who are invisible for fans. All these people get one more thank you at that point, because they have changed my life and brought me at the literary riverside. Otherwise, all my work would stay captured in a drawer of my desktop. I thank Anna and her team at Scholar Online Europe, where young, lost souls like me get a really good, European stay as well as every needed mental and media support. It's not only about translators, who voluntary carry for better integration. They are my friends and people I know, who give me advices and support me like the fellows on the way to Mordor. That is Rita and Rainer, who have been sitting days and nights and improved the German edition grammatically, polished everything once again and put into question Barbie's fingernails and 'river of words'. They didn't want to influence the lyric side of my book that is underlined so often. That is Mandy and other voluntary translators, who work on interviews and other material. It is my friends, who point at details and who send me music advices. It's about musicians, who composed songs and melodies that inspire me. It's Anna, again, who brought the idea of making the soundtrack instead of a list for all chapters and in this way, she won over the chaos. It's Coldplay, Beyonce, Paramore, Anna Nalick, Train, Muse, Tegan & Sara, Greg Laswell, several (movie) composers and classic artists, who influenced my mood while writing and they did it up to the further extension of my musical perception. It's people I know from social media, who motivate me and send constructive criticism. Last, but not least, it's my fans, who won't be mentioned here by names, because there are too many of you! They wrote to me and are happy, when they get answer from me (luckily, I am still able to answer your correspondence, even if it is made only a short hop between yesterday and tomorrow.). These people take my conceptions and analyze them, they ask questions and send some suggestions. Sometimes, it's like a table tennis: we inspire us each other and you can find some details frozen for the eternity in my book in form of black letters that you recognize. If you find such things on one of the pages, it is apparently no pure coincidence! :-) Thank you to people who bring me further literally, even if their actions have not much in common with my book: a smile on a very bad day or a call from far, far away are simple things that make life so worth to live. My family supports me, even if not many of them are potential readers of my book. It is "just" the third edition of my book that was published already in October 2009 in English, in November 2009 in Polish and now, July 2010 in German. It is for me much more than a book and much more than just a simple "Thank you". It is a life of my characters: Mia, Sebastian and Julian. Moreover, it is the reality that is sometimes much more beautiful than every imagined conception. I wrote today via Twitter: "I am happy in front of a greater happiness. That is luck. Good luck! " And it is how I feel about right now. I just finished the second part of "Lovefool" (with the title: "Lovefool – I(m)mortal") and gave it away to the grammar check. I am still waiting for further opinions of you, people from the whole world, and I feel just happy. I send you the good luck of the world and I hope that we can celebrate together, even if it's not only possible from the logistical point of view. We read us soon! Many thanks, Amalia
