Main GOVINDPURI se aa raha hun, anybody knows about GOVINDPURI?
Main batata hun it’s a place in Delhi
The best part about GOVINDPURI is
It has a metro station called GOVINDPURI
BAS
(audience laughs)
Or uss jagah mein aisa kuch nahi hai !
jo aapko janna chahiye
and wo itna f**k all metro station hai na
 
kisi ko GOVINDPURI jane bhi hita na hai, toh wo bhi ek metro station pehle he utar jarta hai.
(audience laughs)
ki paidal he jaenge lekin GOVINDPURI ni jana yaar.
par mujhe jana tha or main ja raha tha
metro station or mere beech mein ek dedh kilometre ka distance bacha hua tha
ab auto toh tum loge nahi because it’s there
main cycle ricksha ka wait kar raha tha ki koi aayega toh main jaunga
but koi nahi aya and start walking
tabhi ek 60-70 saal ke aadmi ne aake gaadi roki
and he asked me beta Kalkaji Mandir kidhar hai?
toh maine bola "Uncle" go straight take left Kalka Ji Mandir is there.
JAI MATA DI
(audience laughs)
Give my regards to Kalka Maa
aap ja rahe ho na, main toh nahi ja raha isiliye
then he’s like aap raste mein kahin ja rahe ho toh aapko kahin chor dun kya beta?
toh maine bola han "UNCLE" main GOVINDPURI metro station ja raha hu,
aap mere ko GOVINDPURI metro station chor sakte hai
unhone mujhe gadi mein bithaya and main gaadi mein betha
poore raste mein "UNCLE" badiya baate karte hue ja rahe the
but within a Two minutes
"UNCLE" ne duniadaari ke saare sawal puch liye
kya karte ho? kahan se aa rahe ho? shadi ki ke nahi?
bacche paida kiye ki nahi kiye
i am like "UNCLE" ye sab sawal pehle mera baap mujhse puchega.
(audience laughs)
phir mere rishtedar, phir mere dost
or random strangers ki list mein buddhe tu last hai.
(audience laughs)
samajh raha hai
(audience laughs)
but inn sawal jawab ke beech mein, i realise ke
ke buddha gear nahi badal raha
meri jaangh ragad raha hai
(audience applause)
han han matlab
mujhe aisa laga hath na unka aise gear badalte waqt  haath galti
se lag gaya hoga
toh maine "UNCLE" ko bola gear thoda right mein hai.
usko right mein lagao
toh ye sunke toh buddha mood mein he agaya
(audience applause)
toh buddha jaangh or tez tez ragadne lag gaya
maine bola "UNCLE" ye kya kar rahe ho "UNCLE"
then he’s like beta "EK PAPPI" dede
(audience applause)
main tujhe GOVINDPURI metro station chor dunga
or jaangh ragde he ja raha hai.
ye chal raha hai, tum samajh rahe ho kya chal raha hai?
kya ho raha hai batao?
audience : SEDUCTION
SEDUCTION ( hmmmmmmm )
bhai mujhe waise toh pata nahi par SEDUCTION mein CONSENT bohot zaruri cheez hai.
aapke liye easy karte hue batate hai, ise MOLESTATION kehte hai mere dost.
(audience applause)
or maine bola mujhe nahi jana GOVINDPURI metro station yaar
mujhe gaadi se utaro
ye aap kya kar rahe ho?
and he’s like tu "EK PAPPI" de tujhe GOVINDPURI metro station.
(audience applause)
maine nahi karni, and maine usko bola ki
gaadi mein bithane ke time
baat na chorne ki hui thi cho*** ki nahi hui thi "UNCLE"
(audience applause)
kyuki wo aadmi kafi mere baap jaisi umar ka tha.
aap samjh rahe ho ? jis aadmi ka ashirwaad lena ho or uska muh mein muh lena pade.
main ready nahi tha iss cheez ke liye.
(audience applause)
and to be very honest
being very honest with you guys
that time in that moment i realise, ke DELHI ko RAPE CAPITAL aise he nahi bolte.
ye mad**c**dh mehnat kar rahe hai yar iske liye.
din raat
be jhijhak lage hue hai
sahi bata raha hun, agar tum delhi mein chedkhani ka olympics rakhwao buddha 12 gold meddal jeetega.
ye uss shiddat se ragad raha hai.
 
ek pappi de govindpuri chor ke aaunga
i am like nahi jana
i am 27 from Delhi mard
ek toh mujhe ye samjh nahi aya ke ye mere sath kaise ho gaya?
kyunki jo log molest hote hai unhe nahi samjh aata kaise?
mujhe kabhi realise he nahi hua ki ye mere saath ho sakta hai yaar
or ye buddha karega koi
wo laga hua hai
ke ek paappi dede.
main 27 saal ka mard hu, Delhi mein rehta hu mushtanda.
i realise what can be the best defence mechanism for this?
buddhe ko mukka marenge
buddhe ka muh bahar nikal denge seeshe se
ye 70  saal ka buddha mera kya kar lega?
"UNCLE" mein dete hai 2 rakhh ke.
main uss moment pe maine wahi kiya jo aap mein se koi hota
toh wo yahi karta
MIAN ROO DIYA
(Audience Applause)
Bhagwan ke liye "UNCLE" mujhe jaane do "UNCLE"
UNCLE mujhe chor do UNCLE
UNCLE mujhe chor do, meri shaadi bhi nahi hui UNCLE
 
or buddha laga hua hai ki "ek pappi de de"
toh buddha kehta hai nahi dega?
main : nahi dunga. toh buddha kehta hai nikal chu***
i am like what the F*** behaviour is this?
(Audience Applause)
main victim hun yaar
main halla machaunga, log tujhe maarenge, aise hoga na ye scene (Bollywood movies refrence)
usne mujhe utar diya or main rote rote hue gaya GOVINDPURI metro station
or aise puri metro mein rota rota ja raha hu.
and you know ye samaaj kaisa hai?
jab ye samaaj metro mein rota hua mota ladka dekhta hai na aise
kabhi unhe ye realise nahi hota ke iske saath kuch galat hua hoga.
they all are like bandi chor ke gayi hogi ise bata raha hu main
but main gaya apni girlfriend ke yahan pe
Because that time i have only this thing in my mind that she’s the only
person jo ki mujhe abhi handle kar sakti hai.
main usko jaake saari baate bata raha hun ki mere saath galat ho gaya
then meri girlfriend ne bola ruk jao main tumhe panji pilati hun
or phir paani wani pike na main thoda chup hua, thoda shaant hua.
or jaise he thoda shaand hua, i start feeling happy.
Because she was making me comfortable .
and i feel comfortable aise acha lag raha tha
warm warm hisab kitab
aise warm hugs mein na acha lagta hai
or jaisi he main khush hua
she kissed me on my lips.
and i am like wtf you did?
she: i just kissed you on your lips, maine kaha han but what do you mean buy
" i just kissed you on your lips"
kehti hai han Nitin
itna over react karne ki kya zarurat hai?
main over react ka matlab?
BC ye pappi he toh MUDDA hai na itni badi kahani ka jo
jo suna raha hun main
(audience applause)
ye pappi he toh mudda hai na ye kahai ka
toh kehti han toh? maine bola han toh matlab?
BC ye pappi buddhe ko deta buddha GOVINDPURI chor deta yaar.
TOH ABHI TU MUJHE CHORKE AA GOVINDPURI
