

## Mistletoe Kiss

## By Niki Contreras

**Mistletoe Kiss**

Niki Contreras

Copyright Niki Contreras 2012

Published at Smashwords

ONE

CHANGE OF PLAN

TWO

REMINISCE

THREE

RACE

FOUR

STOCKINGS

FIVE

SHOPPING TRIP

SIX

HOMECOMING

SEVEN

PARTY

EIGHT

SECOND CHANCES

NINE

CONFRONTATION

TEN

CHRISTMAS

ELEVEN

FOREVER AND ALWAYS

  1. Change of Plans

"Hello?" I asked groggily into my cell phone. I was instantly in a sour mood for being woken up. Who the hell was calling me at five in the morning anyway?

"Baylee, it's your sister Amber. What day were you going to come for Christmas?"

I groaned and glanced over to my boyfriend's sleeping form next to me on the bed. I lowered my voice so that I wouldn't wake him up. "Amber, I don't think that we'll be able to make it this year. Sorry, sis."

"Nu-uh. You said that last year, Baylee-Bug. We still haven't met your new beau and it's been, what, a year and a half?"

I closed my eyes and flopped back into my pillow. My stupid sister wasn't going to shut up until she got her way. Maybe that's one of the perks she got from being the baby of the family. "We can't. I've already told you that I have to go to a fashion show on New Year's Day."

"Perfect," she exclaimed in her high, chipper voice. "You and your boy can come on the twentieth and stay until a few days after Christmas. If you don't agree then I'll have Mama and Daddy buy a ticket and then you'll have to come."

I wanted to pull her dirty blonde hair right out of her head. I could picture her smirking with her baby blue eyes twinkling in mischief at making me miserable. "Fine, we'll be there." I shut the phone before she could coerce me into something else that I didn't want to do. I snuggled into my big pillow and instantly fell asleep. There was no reason to bother anyone with this problem until the daylight hours.

"Baylee, I thought that we already had Christmas plans," my boyfriend of one year complained when I told him the news. Jared's dark eyes narrowed slightly at me in the mirror but he continued to brush his teeth while he glared. His wavy hair flopped into his mesmerizing eyes.

I turned on all the charm. My full pink lips jutted out into a pout and I batted my long eyelashes. I twisted my light brown hair around my finger and locked my chocolate eyes onto his in the mirror. I rested my chin on his shoulder and threw my arm around his neck, resting my hand on his sculpted chest. "I know, but I haven't seen my family in a few years. Besides, you still haven't met them. Please?"

He was putty in my well-manicured fingers. When Jared ran a hand through his dark, wavy locks I had to remind myself not to melt and to hold my resolve to win this argument. Jared Marcos was a traditional kind of gorgeous: tall, dark, and handsome. He was a photographer and I was a runway coordinator. We'd worked together at a fashion show and just hit it off. "One week, Baylee. We'll spend Christmas with your family but we'll be back in L.A. by New Year's Eve at the absolute latest."

"Thank you," I squealed. I squeezed Jared's neck in a hug and kissed his cheek. He shifted me so that I was in front of him and captured my lips. If we didn't both have work then things would have gotten hot and heavy right in the bathroom.

The first class flight from Los Angeles, California to Newcastle, Wyoming wasn't too terrible. But then everything started going downhill the minute that the plan landed. Newcastle was a tiny town with only a little over three thousand people. I instantly missed the craziness of the city and our penthouse apartment. "God, I never thought that I would wind up back here," I muttered under my breath.

Jared draped his arm around my shoulder and kissed my lips gently. "Remind me again how I got tricked into coming."

I smiled gently and kissed him back. When I pulled away, I readjusted the strap of my Louis Vuitton carry-on bag and nudged him with my elbow. "You're here because you love me," I reminded him.

Jared pulled me close. "Yeah, and you're lucky that I do."

I spun in the circle of his arms and pulled his face closer to mine. I didn't care if anyone saw me making out with my boyfriend in the airport parking lot. His tongue fought mine for dominance and I was so wrapped up in him that I didn't notice the truck pull up to the curb until it honked. I jumped and pulled away. I glared at the beat-up red Chevy pick-up that had interrupted our make out session. A muscular man with dark blue eyes, high cheekbones, straight nose, and short, dark hair under his black cowboy hat was laughing in the driver's seat. I groaned and rolled my eyes at him. Oblivious to my annoyance, he stuck out his head and grinned widely. "Hey little girl. What the hell do you think that you're doing smoochin' some guy where everyone can see you?"

I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. "That's actually none of your business, Bobby," I snapped.

He got out of the truck and pulled me into a tight hug. "Sorry but I can't have my little sister acting like a floozy out in the open."

I pushed against my brother and thrust my shoulder bag into his chest. "I'm 25, Bobby. Besides, you're only older by like three minutes. Now why don't you make yourself useful and get my bags."

I knew that he had something up his sleeve when his lips pulled up into a smirk. "I'm not a packhorse, Baylee. Do it yourself." With that he dropped my $1200 bag onto the ground.

"That canvas costs more than your damned truck," I snarled.

He laughed and threw his hands up in surrender. "My bad. Who's your friend, anyway?"

I smiled up at my Jared. "This is my boyfriend, Jared Marcos. Jared, this is my twin Bobby." Jared stuck his hand out but Bobby just stared at it like he'd never seen one before. Jared awkwardly dropped his hand after a second and I wanted to slap my brother for being so rude. "Anyway, why don't you help us load up so we can get going? I'm tired and I don't really like waiting out here anymore."

Bobby, being a smart ass, bowed before me. "As you wish, your majesty." He straightened up and laugh before getting right back into the truck's cab without even glancing at my luggage. I swear my brother just loved annoying the hell out of me. He even made Jared sit in the bed with our bags.

"So how have you been?" Bobby tried to exchange pleasantries.

I glared up at him. "Why are you being such an asshole?"

"I'm just trying to figure you out. You know, Baylee, I used to be able to read you like a book. You're different now."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment," he snapped.

"I know, Bobby, but I like the new me."

"Well my old sister had better re-inhabit your body soon, Bay. I don't think the new you can handle a week with your family. Welcome back, sis."

I glanced up from him and the scene in front of me made my stomach drop. The house in front of us was a quaint one-story building. The peeling paint was light blue with white trim, a white-washed deck with a swing swaying back and forth. A small flower garden trimmed the path up from the driveway to the steps. Off in the distance a large red stable took up most of the scenery. The rest of the ranch was littered with horse corals. All of it was decorated with blinking Christmas lights that stood out brightly against the snow on the ground.

Jared hopped from the back and stood next to me with a grimace written across his features. "Are you ready?" I asked doubtfully.

"One week," he reminded me. "We're only here for one week and then it's back to our world."

The screen door flew open. "Is that my baby?" my mom yelled running from the house. She pulled me tight against her chest before she pulled me at arms' length to look me over. "Oh, it is! Paul, Amber, she's here! Look how gorgeous you are. My word, though, you're thin. Haven't you been eating?"

"Yes, Mama," I answered obediently. My mother was a plump woman with wild strawberry-blonde hair and twinkling blue eyes. She wore an apron over all of her clothes and was in the kitchen most of the time.

My dad came out next to hug me. He was tall with dark hair and eyes like mine. He was starting to get gray hair and going slightly bald. He ran the operations that had to do with the ranch. My dad was a good old fashioned cowboy. "It's good to see you again, Baylee. And you must be Mr. Marcos."

"Call me Jared, sir," my boyfriend said politely shaking my dad's hand. I beamed up at them, glad that they were acting like gentlemen. "Baylee's told me quite a bit about you. It's a pleasure to finally get to meet her lovely family."

"Oh, Jared, you flatter us. Come, come. Let's get you two cleaned up so that we can start supper. Amber, can you and Bobby get the bags?"

My sister rolled her eyes and reached into the bed to grab out suitcases while I snagged my shoulder bag from the front. She let out a low whistle. "Dang, these are some pretty classy bags. What, did you think that you were staying at Days Inn or something?"

I groaned. My family was so embarrassing, thinking the Days Inn was "fancy". I smiled up apologetically at Jared. He mouthed the words "one week" and I was already starting to countdown the days until we could be back in first class flying home.

"Supper will be a little while longer. Why don't you go settle in? Baylee, you can take your room in the loft. Jared, you can take the guest bedroom. Bobby, do you mind showing him the way?"

I saw Jared's eyes widen while he followed my brother away. I was just as stunned as he was. "Mama, don't you think that I could just share my room with Jared? He is my boyfriend after all."

"No," my dad answered gruffly. "I don't want to know what you two do back in Hollywood but it ain't gonna be happening under my roof. Your boyfriend can sleep in the guest room down the hall."

I was in a pouting mood when I went out to the back patio that looked out into the empty expanse of our property. I sat there with my arms crossed stubbornly over my chest. I was still sitting on one of my mother's cushioned chairs when my siblings decided to join me. Jared followed them and sat on the arm of my chair. "I'm sorry. I didn't think that they would actually pull something like that."

Jared shrugged. He started to say something when a snapping sound and then a thump interrupted the quiet. We both jumped and Amber started laughing when she saw. My brother was holding a compact bow and he smirked over at us, apparently pleased with startling us.

"Not bad, Bobby," a deep voice complimented. "A little more practice and you might actually hit something one day."

My eyes widened at the sound of the voice and I glanced over at the man standing against the house with his arms crossed coolly. He was tall and lean and had a strong jaw with slight stubble. He wore a brown cowboy hat and dark sunglasses but I knew that he had short blonde hair and dark green eyes.

Amber giggled. "Christian, why are you always picking on Bobby?"

Christian shrugged. "Payback from when we were younger. It's a bitch, huh?" I felt when his gaze hit me through the sunglasses. "And who might you be?"

I rolled my eyes. "Give it a rest, Christy."

He let out a chuckle. "My, my. If it isn't Baylee Cooper? What's the occasion that makes you come down from on high to visit us common folk?"

My eyes narrowed at him. "My family wanted us to come for Christmas." I grabbed Jared's hand and leaned against his shoulder. Christian smirked at the two of us.

"So this must be the infamous beau that's keeping little Baylee-Bug's attention from the homestead. Christian Matthews, an old friend of the family. I live down the road and I grew up with the twins."

"Jared Marcos."

Christian grabbed the bow and an arrow from my brother and thrust it at Jared. "How about giving it a shot?"

Jared held up his hands and shook his head. "No, I don't think that's such a good idea."

He shrugged his broad shoulders and pulled the bow back. "It's probably for the best. Not many people around have the skill to actually hit a target." As if to demonstrate his point, Christian took aim and hit the bull's-eye on one of the hay barrels scattered in the yard. "But what about you, Baylee? You in?"

"I'll pass, thanks."

"What's the matter? Lost your touch? Hm, and to think that you used to be a decent shot."

I arched my perfectly waxed eyebrows. "A decent shot? I was the best. Give me the bow."

"All right," Bobby cheered. Amber clapped and let out a "woo-hoo!" Christian smirked again and handed me the heavy bow and an arrow.

It had been a long time since I'd held a bow but it was just like riding a bicycle. I raised it to eye-level, and took aim. I stretched the string tight then let go thump as I hit the center of the target was music to my ears. "Purple stack," I called right before I shot and hit the two feet-by –two feet square. I hit five in a row.

"Try the pink barrel in the bush," Christian challenged.

I started. "It's still there?" He nodded and I raised the bow again. I could see the one foot-by-one foot hay barrel hiding behind branches and let go. The only sound that followed was the rustling of leaves and then my arrow dissappeared. I stood there staring for a second in shock. "I missed."

"Ha!" Christian laughed. "So you have lost your touch."

That set off my short temper and I rounded on him. "It's not like anyone else has ever hit that one. Don't try to get stuck up if you can't even nail it either. Besides, it's not like I have a bunch of free time to practice this crap like you obviously do. I actually have a life."

"Baylee, stop bitching," Christian interrupted. "What is wrong with you? You used to be cool."

"And you used to swear that you would make something of yourself. I am very successful and you're still living with your parents in Newcastle. I think that I get the right to bitch all I want."

"Baylee," my twin snapped. He grabbed my arm and dragged me away from the others. He hissed at me, "What the hell is the matter with you? Christian is one of our oldest and best friends. What do you think gives you the right to treat him like crap?"

I yanked my arm from my brother's grasp. "Oh so Christian can come and run off his mouth but I can't? That's bull. Now, let go of me, Bobby. I have a boyfriend to get back to."

Jared folded me against his strong chest and kissed my forehead. "Are you all right?" he muttered into my hair.

I smiled up at him and gently pecked his lips. "I'm fine. I'm just annoyed with my brother."

My mother chose that moment to stick her head out of the back door and call, "Dinner's ready. Come in and eat. Oh, Christian, how great to see you. Come in and stay for dinner."

My mom loved Christy. He shot her one of his million-dollar grins. "That'd be great. Thanks, Mama C."

I rolled my eyes and sat at the table next to Jared. Christian ended up across from me. He smirked at me as my mom finished setting out the dishes. "Dig in," she ordered. I glanced around the table and grimaced. Everything in sight was greasy and fattening and definitely not a part of my diet. Jared and I exchanged looks and I only took a leg of chicken. I peeled away the skin before I even took a bite.

Amber snorted. "What are you doing Baylee? You usually love the skin. That used to be the only thing you'd eat."

I glanced up at my sister and then my mom's disappointed look. "Is there something wrong with my cooking?"

"Not at all, Mom," I quickly reassured her. "I'm just trying to eat healthier. Your cooking is still the best though." To appease her, I took a big bite from the chicken. It was greasy from being fried in a ton of Crisco and it took a lot of willpower not to grimace.

I got stuck on dish duty after dinner. I have no clue how that happened but I think it was Dad's idea so that he could interrogate Jared. What the hell happened to guests getting out of chores? I was honestly in a grouchy mood as I washed up after everyone.

"Need any help?"

I glanced to my left and my eyes narrowed. "Not from you, Christian," I hissed. "Why are you even still here? Don't you have your own family to go bug?"

Christian ignored me and bumped me to the side. He started rinsing while I washed. "Just like old times, right, Baylee?"

I smiled a little. "Yeah, you're still getting the easy job and making me do most of the work."

Christy laughed. "Just be glad that I'm helping, Baylee-Bug. Does your boyfriend help do the chores when you're at home? The thing you used to love about me most was that I didn't sit on my ass while you cooked or cleaned. Can you say the same for him?"

I didn't answer. Christian was right; I couldn't say the same for Jared.

  2. Reminisce

Sleeping in my old room alone was way more comfortable than I'd remembered. I had a great night's sleep in my confortable queen bed and it was nice not having to fight for the blankets. When I woke up, I was wrapped up tightly in a cocoon made by the thick comforter my grandmother had made for me when I was little.

I was up before anyone else. I got breakfast started and then pulled out my laptop and sketchpad and started to do some work at the table. I was stuck staring at my sketchpad and tapping my pencil against my chin when Jared walked in. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "Hey baby. How was your night?"

"Great," I replied. "How about yours?"

He shrugged and sat with me at the table. "Not all that great, to be honest with you. I missed you, babe."

I set my sketch on the table and leaned over him with my lips only centimeters away from his. "Why don't I make it up to you?" I murmured seductively against his lips. I kissed him hard, my tongue fighting with his for dominance. I didn't even hear anyone else enter the kitchen.

"Gross, that is so not what I want to see first thing in the morning," Amber whined. "And what is that God-awful smell?"

I sighed and rested my forehead against Jared's "Good morning, Amber. That smell would be breakfast, thank you very much. I made wheat pancakes, turkey bacon, and rye toast. It's good for you."

Amber made a gagging sound. "That just sounds disgusting. Where'd you get this stuff anyway? I know for a fact that we didn't have any turkey whatever here."

"I went and bought it, stupid. It's all organic and healthy. You should give it a try."

"Ha! There's a snowball's chance that that'll happen. Get me some good 'ole sausage and black coffee and I'm good. There's no way any of this crap is going near my mouth."

"Yuck! What the hell is that?" Christy practically yelled when he and Bobby walked in. By then the rest of the family was there.

"Baylee tried to make breakfast," Amber teased. "She's trying to make us all go green. She's-"

"Amber," Mom snapped. "We can all give it a try. Baylee-Bug, thank you for making everyone breakfast."

I smiled and started back on my work while everyone got situated. Jared made me a plate and I multitasked between eating and working. I usually worked while I did other things and Jared was used to me being so scatterbrained. My family wasn't. "Baylee, put that stuff away and eat your breakfast."

"Just a second, Dad," I replied without looking up. "Let me finish this up. Jared, what do you think of this design for the runway?" I shoved my drawing under his nose and he looked it over.

"Is the new Valentino line going to be in the show?"

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

Jared grabbed my pencil and added to my sketch. "You should probably widen the runway. Some of those dresses get pretty big."

I nodded and took back the sketchpad to make my own additions. I was starting to get glares from my parents so I added a quick scale at the bottom corner of the paper and stuffed the book under my butt. I smiled innocently up at my mom and dad and shoved a piece of turkey bacon into my mouth.

My sister had kitchen clean up after breakfast. I went into the living room with Jared and pulled out my laptop. I quickly hooked up my awesome little portable scanner and uploaded my runway design. All I had left to do was email the sketch so that it could start to get built. The only problem was that I couldn't access the internet.

"Mom," I called. "What's your Wi-Fi?"

"Why what?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes a little and shot a look at my boyfriend. "Do you guys have Wi-Fi? Wireless internet?"

She poked her head into the room and gave me a confused look. "Oh, honey. We don't have any internet. Christian's going into town in a few minutes. Why don't you hitch a ride with him to the bookstore? The boys say that they have free connection over at the Hastings."

I let out a low groan. Seriously? No Wi-Fi? I so didn't want to ride with Christian but Bobby was already gone back to his apartment with my parents' car and Dad was using his truck. I glanced over at Christy and he had his annoying smirk plastered on his face. I groaned and gathered up my stuff. I leaned over and kissed Jared's soft lips. "I'll see ya in a while."

I walked over to where Christian was standing. He leaned up against the wall with his arms crossed, tapping his foot. He smirked down at me again. "What's the magic word, Baylee-Bug?"

I arched one eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"The magic word," he insisted. "Or do you think that everyone is just going to fall at your feet and do what you want."

I narrowed my brown eyes at him. "Are you serious?"

"Yep," Christian answered, popping the 'p'. Ugh, I seriously hated when people did that.

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Fine," I snapped. "Christy, would you please give me a ride to the bookstore?"

Christian flashed me a smug smile. "Yeah, sure. I'll bet your mouth is just burning right now."

I glared at him. "Shut up. You are such a di-"

"Baylee," my mom snapped, cutting me off. "Don't you dare use that kind of language in my house. Your father and I taught you better than that."

I smiled sweetly at Mom. "I'm sorry." Her eyes stayed narrowed at me for several long minutes.

Christian slipped his arm around my waist and led me out into the frigid Wyoming snow. I elbowed him hard in the stomach but he just laughed. Damn, maybe I really was losing my touch considering that back in the day I would have been able to make him double over in pain.

As much as I hated having his arm around me I guess it was a good thing because I kept slipping on the icy ground. When we got to his 4WD truck he opened the passenger's side door for me and helped me climb in before making his way to his side. I watched him curiously as he went around the front of the car. Wow, he was such a gentleman. And so cute, too.

A deep blush crept into my cheeks at that thought and I quickly averted my gaze. Christian quickly climbed in but immediately saw my red-stained cheeks. "What's wrong?"

I blushed even more. "Nothing," I lied quickly.

"Bullshit," Christy accused, poking my side. I blinked; I was a pretty decent liar. "I've known you practically all my life, Baylee. I can tell when you lie."

My jaw dropped and I just stared at him for a few seconds like an idiot. "Well you just suck monkey butt," I growled for a lack of anything better.

He laughed at my stupid response and turned down to the main road. We sat in silence for the next few minutes of the ride but it wasn't awkward. In fact, the silence was comfortable and familiar, like my patched quilt had been when I was a child. I stared out the window while the town passed by. A few years back I would have been able to name every building and even a lot of the people but now it all just seemed so foreign to me. A tight knot formed in my stomach as I realized I'd become a stranger in my own world.

It didn't take long before Christian was pulling up to the curb in front of the bookstore. As kids, we'd spent many days there but I'm pretty sure that I would have actually gotten lost had I been driving. He smiled at me, just like he used to when he would drop me somewhere and I smiled back. "So do you want me to pick you up or are you going to call Bobby?"

"What are you in town for?" I asked. I didn't like to put people out, even if I was pissed off at them and Christy was no exception.

He shrugged his broad, toned shoulders. "I'm picking up some horse feed for you guys and my horses. I shouldn't be long but I don't mind waiting."

I nibbled on my bottom lip for a few seconds. "Well, if it's really okay. I'll only be a little bit so if you can come get me when you're done with your errands that would be great."

Christian nodded once and waved at me as he drove off. I don't know why, but my stomach was doing annoying little flips as I watched his car disappear down the road. When I realized that my heart was pounding erratically, I mentally slapped myself and stomped into the bookstore. WTF? Why the hell was my body reacting to freakin' _Christy_?

I growled under my breath and quickly set to my work, putting all thought so him from my head. I pulled out my laptop and quickly hooked up to the Wi-Fi. The store's spotty connection made it take forever for my computer to get a signal. The email took so long to send that I decided to go on my Facebook while I waited. The homepage showed pictures of my friends at parties or decorating. One of the girls from work put her status as "cant wait for the xmas party!! its gunna be FAB!" I groaned because I was going to miss the biggest, best party of the season.

Irritated, I exited out of the website and roughly shut off the machine when the email was sent. I put it back in the case and slung it over my shoulder before I went to browse through the books in an attempt to relax my mind. My fingers gently skimmed over the spines and my eyes were half-closed in contentment. It had been ages since I'd actually picked up a real book and my hands itched to hold one again. I plucked a random romance novel off the shelf and started reading it while I paced up and down the isle.

I was almost three chapters in and had completely lost track of time when someone put one their hands over my eyes. Living in Las Angeles, getting blindfolded by a pair of hands isn't good. I gasped loudly and threw my elbow back with as much force as I could muster, which considering I'd grown up on a ranch was quite a lot.

The person grunted in pain when my elbow connected with their chest. "Dammit, Baylee. That hurt," Christian's voice groaned.

I spun around quickly with my eyes wide. "Christy? Shit, I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was you."

"Yeah, yeah. I was waiting outside for you but when you didn't show I figured that you were probably still in your own world. I honestly didn't expect you to go all _Kung Fu Panda_ on my ass."

I let out a little giggle. "Get over it, Christy. You scared me. What else was I going to do?"

He pulled the book out of my grip. I immediately started pouting but he grabbed my hand and started leading me toward the registers. "I used to sneak up on you all the time and you never once jumped. How the hell was I supposed to know that you would scare so easily?"

I stuck my tongue out at him and narrowed my eyes. "I've been living in L.A. since I was 18. Girls in L.A. tend to be very cautious. It comes with the package of living alone in a big city."

His grin fell a fraction and a guilty knot tightened in my stomach because I didn't mean to make him feel bad. I averted my gaze from his face and cleared my throat awkwardly. My eyes landed on the book and I pried it away from him, changing the subject as I skipped ahead. "I didn't keep you waiting long, did I?"

He shrugged easily. "Only about ten minutes before I decided to come find you. I would've waited longer but it was so damn cold. Let's get your book so that we can go."

The ride back wasn't as quiet but it was still pretty comfortable. We talked about the most random things, like the few swirling bits of snow falling, and fought over what station to listen to. Riding in Christian's truck was like second nature for me, normal. I'd missed hanging out with him like this.

Once I walked through the door, everything changed. Well, 'changed' isn't exactly right. Jared engulfed me in a hug and kissed me hard on the mouth. At that moment, I didn't care who was watching or if we were acting slightly inappropriate. The man in front of me and my job were the only things that mattered. I stopped being the Wyoming horse rancher that I'd been a few minutes before with Christy and started being the stuck up L.A. bitch I'd been for the last seven years.

"Everything all taken care of?" Jared asked, going back to business.

"Yeah," I answered very blasé. "The design has been sent and they can call me with any problems. What about you? You're totally ready for this show, right?"

Jared rolled his eyes at me. "When am I not ready for a show?" he scoffed. I shook my head at his rude comment and for a brief second I seriously considered punching him.

As lunch started to roll around, Amber made sure to keep me far away from the kitchen. Back home I did most of the cooking so it was weird for me not to have something to do. Plus, I was a little wary of what my mom would make.

"You never liked to cook," my little sister reminded me as she shoved me into the living room. "Just let me and Mama handle it and we'll call you when it's ready."

"You don't cook either," I countered.

She flashed me a mischievous smile. "That's true. But we can't risk that you'll go on another power trip and try to feed us whatever that shit was. Go... feed the horses or something."

"Fine," I grumbled, shoving my feet into my adorable knee-high brown Chanel snow boots. I was mumbling a sting of curses at my sister as I dawned my jacket, hat, scarf, and gloves. I was still muttering incoherently as I stomped into the cold and across the thin layer of snow to the stable.

The horses inside whinnied when I let the frosty December air inside. I walked right up to a large black stallion, Rugrat. He was one of the fastest, most stubborn race horses in the whole state. And he was all mine. My dad had taken me to a horse auction when I was eleven and let me pick him out. He was a big pain-in-the-ass but my dad couldn't talk me out of getting him. I was the first person that he actually let train him.

Rugrat, named after one of my all-time favorite cartoons, reared back on his hind legs and let out a loud neigh. I backed away from his stall quickly. "Whoa there boy," I tried to calm him. "Relax. It's me, buddy. You remember me, don't you Rugrat?"

He snorted and started to beat the ground with his hoof.

"You know, he's just as pissy as his owner," a voice grunted behind me. Christian was there filling up feed barrels. "I think he's mad at you for abandoning him."

I turned back to the big black horse and nibbled at my bottom lip. "Well it's not like I can keep him in Las Angeles. Besides, he's a race horse, not a pet."

Christian leaned up against the stall door. "He missed you, Baylee. You can't really expect him to forgive you so easily."

I sighed and leaned against an empty stall. "What would you have done if you'd gone with me like we'd planed? Do you think that Hailey's Comet would have been as heartbroken?"

He ran a hand through his thick, blonde hair. "I really don't know what would have happened, Bay. Sometimes I wish that things would have worked out but at the same time I'm glad that I stayed."

I bit my tongue. "I'm glad things worked out for you," I said bitterly. I turned my back on Christy and my horse and practically ran back to the house. Things would have been different if Christian had been able to go to Los Angeles with me. Things might have stayed the same if _she_ hadn't gotten in the way.

I shook my head frantically. I refused to let myself get upset over what had happened when Christian and I had graduated. I'd already gotten over being miserable for leaving my best friend behind. Besides, that was seven years ago and I was definitely not the same girl. I wouldn't let myself get hurt like that again.

I sat at the table and moved around my food during lunch. I was in a grumpy mood so I was really quite through the whole meal. My mom was the first to notice. "Is something wrong, honey?" she asked.

"Hmm?" I looked up and gave her a small smile. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired is all."

She frowned and her forehead became creased with worry wrinkles. "Oh, honey. Why don't you go lay down? I'm sure that you're just jet lagged and you woke up so early this morning to make breakfast. You should feel much better after a nice nap."

I smiled weakly at my mom. "It's okay, Mama. I'm just really not that hungry."

"Nonsense," she snapped. "You go straight to bed. Um, Jared, can you please take her?"

"I'm fine, Mom," I tried to argue as I pushed out of my seat. There was no way that I was getting out of her babying me so I decided to just go with it.

Jared pushed from his chair and took my arm. "What's the matter with you?" he demanded once we were in my bedroom. "You were just fine earlier when you got back from the bookstore."

I narrowed my eyes dangerously at him. "Sometimes exhaustion hits for no apparent reason. If you're going got be an ass then just go back to the kitchen and leave me alone."

His full lips curled up into a smirk. "Oh, I see. You're PMSing. Fine, go ahead and lay down for a while. But you had better not leave me alone for too long." He turned his back and walked back out the door. I stuck my tongue out at him like a little kid but he didn't see it.

I must have fallen asleep without actually meaning to. I woke up curled into a tight ball on my bed with a glass of water on my bedside table sitting next to a fresh chocolate chip cookie. I scrunched up my nose; I know the cookie wasn't there when I went to fell asleep.

"You'd better hurry up and eat that before I do," a voice rang out, making me jump a mile high.

I whipped my head toward my desk. Christian was lounging comfortably, stuffing his face with some of my mom's warm, fresh-baked cookies. "Go ahead. I won't eat it."

His eyes widened in horror. "Shit, you really are sick, aren't you?"

I wrinkled my nose. "No, not really. I just wasn't feeling my best. Why did you ask, anyway?"

Christy shrugged and his green eyes were mischievous. "Well because you used to love your mama's cookies. I used to have to hide the tray if I even wanted a chance to get one."

I grabbed the closest pillow and threw it at him. "Shut up, Christy. I was not that much of a pig. I knew where all your hiding places were and I could have taken the cookie jar whenever I wanted."

He grinned sheepishly. "You knew?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course I knew. I came up with more than half of them. Remember? I couldn't reach the counter so you would steal the jar and I would come up with the hiding spots. You never changed from those places."

He laughed and I even let out a smile. "Oh, that's right. You were short."

He tossed my pillow back and I stared at it for a while, a frown turning down the corners of my mouth. Christian's mother had made it for me one Christmas and embroidered Bobby's, Amber's, mine and Christy's names on the front. My eyes lingered on the elegant lettering of his name. "What the hell are you doing in here anyway? You sneaking up on me is getting really annoying."

He shrugged and tossed another cookie into his mouth. "I was waiting for you to wake up. I wanted to make sure that you were okay."

I blushed. I wasn't used to having anyone take care of me; Jared definitely wasn't the type. I tugged on a strand of my brown hair and tucked it behind my ear. "Well I'm fine, as you can see." I tossed of my blanket and stood up shakily. "You can go now, Christy."

He took a step toward me and my breath hitched. His face leaned in towards mine and he stared me straight in my wide eyes. "Thanks for the desert," he laughed as he pulled back with the cookie from my table in his hand.

I let out a deep sigh of relief when the door closed behind him, although a part of me was just a little disappointed.

"Are you feeling any better?" my mom asked when I walked into the living room.

I smiled up at her. "Yeah, much better, thanks. I'm nice and refreshed."

I went to sit by Jared but he shot me a glare. I wrinkled my brows together in response. "Glad to see you're better."

My brown eyes narrowed at him and my voice took on a hard edge. "What's the matter with you? You couldn't be a big boy without me for an hour while I slept?"

He scowled at me and scooted a little bit further away on the couch. I didn't care or get offended. I was in absolutely no mood to deal with his diva antics at the moment. I rolled my eyes and got up from the couch quickly. "Where are you going?" Jared demanded.

"Away from you. You're not my favorite person at the moment and we both know that I do stupid things when I'm pissed." I stormed through the kitchen and out into the snow without even bothering to bundle up.

  3. Race

I ended up back at the stables and went right to Rugrat's stall. He whinnied and pawed at me but I ignored it. I saddled him up and I was lucky that he was calm by the time I led him out to the track. The track was a quarter mile oval that was luckily clear of any snow. I took Rugrat around a few times without pushing too hard. It didn't take long for him to get used to me again and after a few minutes I felt in my element. Riding was easy and helped clear my head better than yoga or chai tea or even a full body massage.

His hooves barely made contact with the ground as he galloped. My heart beat in time with each of his strides. My muscles were coiled tightly and I could feel him just as tense. The wind bit against my skin but I welcomed it. For just a few minutes Rugrat and I were speed and nothing else in the entire world mattered. I could focus on the sting of the icy gust and keeping him on track rather than my job and Jared and my family.

I pulled Rugrat to a stop after a couple of laps and hopped off. He was panting hard, his breath making thick puffs of fog in the cold air. I smiled and patted his nose gingerly. "Good job, buddy. You were awesome," I breathed out.

"You were pretty good, too."

I whipped around quickly. Christian smirked down at me from his chestnut mare, Hailey's Comet. My jaw locked and I glared hard at him. "Dammit, Christian stop scaring me! Why the hell do you keep showing up?"

He shrugged. "I was just going for a ride and I saw you guys out here. I don't think that Rugrat's gone that fast since he won the Classic back in oh-two."

I smiled dreamily. "That was a good day. Rugrat was just a little four-year-old. Now he's an old fourteen-year-old."

Christy laughed. "Yeah, well he's in pretty good shape considering that he didn't retire until five. I think that your sweet sixteen was your first birthday not spent at the horse track."

I patted Rugrat's nose and my smile slipped a little. "Yeah, you're right. That was the year that I decided that I wanted to work in fashion. I guess that I didn't have much time for horse racing after that."

"Well you're here now and there's time now for some racing. C'mon. Let's race to the lake." He shrugged out of his thick winter jacket and tossed it down to me. I was instantly grateful to get into something warm.

I pulled my leg over Rugrat's saddle and flashed Christy a smile. "First one to the pinyon pine?"

"You've got it. Ready? Go!" he shouted before I was even adjusted in the seat. I shouted at him and kicked my horse into gear. We both went at breakneck speeds but he was too far ahead. Besides, his mare was way younger than my old guy so she was in much better shape.

"You are such a damn cheater," I accused after I got off of Rugrat.

Something wet and cold hit my face and I gasped. I wiped the snow off my face with my bare hand and chucked it back at him. "I'm sorry, Baylee, but I couldn't help it. Besides, I have to cheat to beat you at anything."

I laughed at threw myself into the snow. It was cold and I was quickly going numb but I didn't care. I sort of liked the sensation of losing all feeling to the cold. I started making snow angels and it wasn't long before Christy started doing it with me.

We stayed out there for hours and the sun was just getting ready to go down. I was so relaxed that the roar of an engine startled me and made me jump a mile high. I whipped around and found Amber and Jared pulling up in the ATV Rhino. He looked pissed. "What's wrong?"

"I need to talk to you, Baylee," he snapped.

"I'll, um, I'll take Rugrat back to the stables and leave the Rhino with you guys. Christy, why don't we leave these two alone?" Amber suggested.

They left me with Jared and the keys to the Rhino. "So what did you want to talk about?" I asked icily.

"What the hell have you been doing out here with him all day?"

I rose to my feet and my eyes hardened. "Christian happens to be one of my best friends. We come to the lake to hang out. It's no big deal."

"You're with me now, Baylee. He's part of your old life so stop acting like a teenager with a crush."

My hand shot forward and connected with his cheek with a sharp smack. "Don't you dare talk to me like that, Jared. I know that we're together but Christian will always be part of my life."  
"Why? Why is he so important to you?"

"Just because."

"That's not an answer and you know it. Why is this guy so damn important to you?"

"Because he saved my life," I shouted. I clapped my hands over my mouth the minute that the words escaped. No one knew about what had happened between Christian and me all those years ago except for our immediate families and we wanted to keep it that way.

"What?" He instantly deflated.

I sighed deeply. "Christian saved my life when I was seven. Bobby and I were out here skating and I fell through the ice. Christy was just riding by and he heard my brother freaking out. He risked his own life to get me out from under the ice. I'd never even met him before that moment but he still saved me. Christian is a good guy so don't even try to pretend that you're so much better than him."

Most people knew the edited version of how I met Christy. We told everyone that we met at the lake one day while Bobby and I were skating and he was riding by. The End. I hated thinking about what could have happened if he hadn't shown up at that moment and the thought of losing me at such a young age was sort of a scary subject for my family so we avoided it. Christian didn't like to be played out as a hero so he stuck with the short story, too. I would have rather I never had to talk about that incident again but Jared was being so damn pushy lately.

We were both angry and sulking the entire ride back to the house. Riding in the Rhino wasn't nearly as much fun as riding Rugrat but I had to deal. The worse thing about riding back to the house in the ATV was that I was stuck with Jared for a good ten minutes. I ditched him the second that I parked the Rhino.

I stomped toward my room once I got inside the house. "Baylee, honey, where are you going?" my mom asked, stopping me. "Dinner's almost ready."

"Oh, well then I'm going to go clean up really quick."

Her eyes narrowed at me. "Baylee, you're blue. You've been outside for hours in nothing but Christian's jacket and some jeans. And you're sick? Go take a warm bath right now and then you can eat when you get done."

I smiled at my mom. "Okay. Can you hang up Christy's jacket and give it to him if he happens to come by?"

Mom smiled knowingly at me. "Of course, Baylee-Bug. It's good to see the two of you hanging out again. I've missed seeing you two together."

I blushed. "Mom, we're not together. Christy and I are-"

"Just friends," she cut off. "Yeah, I've heard that one more times than I can count. But you two have always been perfect together. And I see that look every time Amber flirts with him, even now. I'm not saying that you two are in love, but there's something there, Bay."  
I dropped my gaze. "Mom, please don't. I'm with Jared and that's not going to change. I'm leaving at the end of the week so nothing is going to happen between Christian and me."

I couldn't sleep that night. I was still freezing even after two bowls of broccoli soup and a steaming mug of hot cocoa. I tossed and turned for what seemed like forever. By six in the morning I'd gotten maybe four hours' worth of sleep and was cranky. I got up and made my way to the living room. I plopped on the couch, wrapped my comforter snuggly around me, and flipped on the TV.

I guess I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to someone poking my foot. I jerked and my eyes flew open. I glared down at the end of the couch. Christy smirked at me with my feet in his lap, playing with my toes. "What the hell are you doing?" I growled, my voice thick with sleep.

He shrugged easily. "I'm trying to watch Sports Center and you were snoring."

I kicked him but he just laughed. "Christian, shut up. I'm tired and grouchy and not a morning person. Besides, don't you have your own house to occupy and your own family to bug?"

Christian's green eyes narrowed slightly at me. "My parents are in Cheyenne. I've been working for your parents this winter to help pay the bills. My mom's hospital bills are starting to pile up."

My blood froze in my veins. "Wh-what's wrong with your mom?"

I could see his face fall. "Her heart's starting to give. It's not pumping enough blood through her body. My dad's been staying with her so that she's not alone so far away."

I blinked back tears and shifted on the couch so that I was leaning against him. I put my arms around him and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry, Christian. I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me?'

He shrugged. "You and I haven't talked since graduation. I wasn't going to call and bug you with this."

I hit his arm playfully. "Christy, that wouldn't have bugged me. We've been best friends for as long as I can remember. What happened that spring doesn't change that. Even if I was still mad at you, I love your mom. I wish that you would have emailed me or called so I would have known. Now I feel like crap for being such a bitch."

He hugged me back and gently kissed my head. "You're not a bitch, Baylee. Well, at least not a total one. I'm glad that you're here, now, though. I've missed hanging out with you like this."

I smiled. "Me, too," I replied.

I felt like I was a little kid again, just lying on the couch watching cartoons with Christian. I wasn't really sure how we got to Nickelodeon but it was still fun to watch the older, better shows. To add to the fun, Christian could tell that I was coming down with the flu so he acted as my butler running around getting me water and medicine and tissues. We hung out just the two of us for a good hour-and-a-half before anyone else got up.

"What's going on here?" Jared asked as he walked into the living room. His eyes narrowed at me and I resisted the urge to flip him off.

"Your girlfriend keeps kicking me with her stinky feet," Christy answered with a laugh.

"I do not have stinky feet," I protested, sticking them under his nose. He made a sour face and quickly shoved them away from his face. Jared just stood there and glared daggers at me. After a minute of goofing off with Christian I sat up and patted the spot next to me for Jared. He reluctantly took the spot and I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"How did you sleep?" He sounded like he couldn't care less.

"I didn't really," I shrugged. "I've been up for hours and Christy was just keeping me company."

"I'm sure he was," Jared muttered bitterly.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared. "Excuse me? What was that?"

"What was what?" Amber asked as she bounded into the room. She was such a morning person it was annoying. She'd been awake for maybe twenty minutes and was already dressed in a sweater dress, leggings, and even a bow in her silky hair. My sister was too chipper.

"Nothing, Amber."

She rolled her eyes at me and sat herself down on Christian's lap. For some reason that simple act really bugged me, and he didn't look all that comfortable either. "Whatever, Bay. Mom wanted me to ask if you were feeling any better after nearly freezing your ass off yesterday."

"I'll be fine," I grumbled.

Christian snorted. "You're such a liar." He turned back to my sister. "Amber, tell your mom that she's getting the flu. You should try to keep her resting but we all know that she's a mule."

I narrowed my eyes up at him. "Christian, you're an ass. Shut the hell up. I'm not a mule."

He just laughed at me. "I rest my case."  
He and Amber got up and left, leaving me alone with Jared. He glared at me until I just got annoyed. "What?" I snapped.

"I don't like that you're spending so much time with him, Baylee."

I rolled my eyes. "Jared, we've gone over this. Stop being so damn possessive because it's really starting to piss me off."

"You're mine, now, Baylee."  
My jaw snapped shut. "I'm not anybody's. This isn't some contest and I'm definitely not some prize. Get your shit together and stop being so jealous all the time."

"I've got some work to do so I'm going into town for the day. Get better so that we can hang out when I get back." With that, he went to the door and pulled on his thick winter coat. It kind of bugged me that while I was completely sick he was going to do God knows what.

I really hated being sick. My mom and Christian made sure that I stayed on the couch, but channel surfing could only keep me entertained for so long; especially since my parents only had like 80 channels to choose from. By ten I was already bored out of my mind. I got up, wrapped myself in my blanket, and shuffled into the kitchen. Everyone was already in there when I entered. Mom and Amber were looking through the cookbooks and telling Christian and Bobby which ingredients to get out. Dad sat at the table trying to sneak some of the dough that they'd already made. I smiled. It was just like when I was growing up.

"Baylee, honey, shouldn't you be lying down?" Mom scolded when she saw me leaning in the doorframe.

I shrugged. "I got bored. Can I watch?"

She smiled gently at me. "Of course you can, honey. You can keep an eye on your dad and make sure that he stops eating the cookie dough."

Dad froze with his finger in his mouth, licking off a scoop of peanut butter cookie dough. "How does she know this when she's not even looking?" he asked in amazement. "I swear that you're mother's a witch sometimes."

I giggled and plopped down next to him. When Mom's back was turned, I immediately got my own scoop of dough. "Baylee, you're sick and raw dough is just going to make it worse." I froze, my eyes wide while everyone else laughed at me.

Even if I couldn't help, it was still fun to watch. We played Christmas music while they made a million different types of deserts for the Christmas Eve party in a couple of days. When they were doing sugar cookies, Bobby and Christian started racing to see who could make the most. Only like one in every three of their cookies actually managed to survive but it was definitely entertaining to watch. I was laughing so hard I couldn't even breathe.

Jared got back at around three when we were cleaning up the giant mess from cooking. Of course he walked in at the worse possible moment when I was belting "Last Christmas" and dancing with Christian. His eyes instantly narrowed at me. I pushed away from Christy and cleared my throat awkwardly. "Hey, did you get a lot of work done while you were in town?"

"Loads," he answered tersely.

I tried smiling at him. "Well, that's good. You were certainly gone long enough."

He glanced between Christian and me. "Yeah, I can tell."

I rolled my eyes and ground my teeth together. I walked up and grabbed his arm, pulling him into the living room. "Don't do this here, Jared. Please don't make a big deal about things, okay? We're not going to start a fight right now."

"Tell me why not, Baylee? Every time I see you you're with him. How can I not make a big deal about this? I didn't even want to come in the first place."

"See, now that's the exact opposite of not fighting."

"Oh, shut up, Baylee. You can't expect me to be all right with you two all over each other."

I punched him right in the jaw but I was too mad to feel bad about that. My brown eyes narrowed dangerously. "First of all, Jared, don't ever tell me to shut up," I hissed. "You know that I hate it when you start treating me like that. Second of all, I'm done telling you that there's nothing going on between Christy and me because apparently you can't get it through your thick skull. You'd better get the hell off your high horse this second or I swear you're going to regret it."

I turned on my heel and stomped to my room, slamming the door shut. Jared was seriously starting to piss me off. I hated when he started treating me like shit. I would have broken up with him by now but he was normally able to control his ridiculous attitude and make me want to stay with him. This was definitely turning into the worst Christmas ever.

  4. Stockings

I hadn't even been in Newcastle an two days and I was already locking myself in my bedroom like I used to when I was a teenager. The sun had long since disappeared and I'd opted out of dinner to hang out in my room listening to the latest Top 40 Hits. Ke$ha's latest song was blaring through my ear buds when my sister tentatively knocked on the door. She poked her head in and leaned her cheek against the door jamb. "Hey, Mama wants to start decorating this year's stockings. You coming?"

I sighed and rolled onto my back so that I was looking at Amber upside-down. "I guess so. Is Jared still pissy?"

Her full pink lips pulled up to one side and she cocked her head so that her thick, dark blond hair fell in perfect waves down her shoulder. "Yeah. Is he always like that? He's kind of a prissy little bitch."

I snorted slightly. "C'mon, now, Amber. That wasn't funny."  
She grinned at me. "Yes it was. I haven't seen you actually smile since you left to L.A."

I sighed and rolled back over so that I could sit up and hugged my knees to my chest. "Jared's great and everything but sometimes he can be a real diva. He was definitely never the kind of guy that I imagined myself with. It's sort of work to date him, you know?"

She closed the door softly and sat with me on the bed, her head resting on my shoulder. "You imagined yourself with Christian, didn't you? You two were totally perfect for each other."

I pulled away from her but I don't think she minded. "Yeah, well people change. Christy and I just were never meant to be. I'm with Jared now and I'm fine with that."

Her dainty hand patted my shoulder gently. "Honey, there's a big difference between fine and happy. We all want you to be happy, Baylee."

I shot her a weak smile and jumped off the bed. "Let's just go put up stockings before Mom sends Bobby in to come get us. He's not the most gracious when it comes to fetching his sisters."

My baby sister giggled and followed me out of the room. She probably thought that I was totally okay but really I wasn't. I was happy with my fast-track L.A. life and then Newcastle and that girl I used to be popped back up. I was so not okay.

"Oh, good, you two are here. Now we can get started doing stockings and putting them all up. Come on, come on. Girls, do you want to turn on some music?"

Mom was a school teacher so she loved all the artsy stuff. It'd been a family tradition since Bobby and I could hold a crayon. Mom spent most of the time fussing about everything from the second we walked into the living room. Christian and Bobby were having fun making a giant mess of all the Christmas decorations while Dad was telling his infamous story of his first Christmas with Mom. And of course, Jared sat alone on the rocking chair in the corner. I went up to him and sat on his lap throwing my arms around his shoulders. "You still mad?"

"No," he lied. Jared was an awful liar. He was like a pouty little kid that didn't want to get grounded from his toys any longer than he already was. I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming that he was being an immature dick.

"Good. Now why don't we get a couple of stockings that we can make and then hang them up? It'll be fu-un," I sang.

Jared rolled his eyes. "You know, we could have been in Hollywood at any of a dozen parties instead of making stupid Christmas decorations," he murmured to me under his breath.

I elbowed him in the ribs. "Stop it," I hissed back. "We're going to decorate these stockings and you're going to like it. If you keep acting like a total douche than you can sleep on the couch when we get back to L.A. Trust me, Jared, you ruin this trip for me and you won't get any sex for the rest of the year."

He froze and I couldn't help but smirk. Guys always tend to think with the needier part of their anatomy so it just made threatening him that much easier for me. I glued on a fake smile and sank to the floor to pull a blank red stocking, glue, and glitter toward me. I shot a glare at my boyfriend and he followed my lead. We played the happy couple but I really wasn't into making Christmas stockings with Jared.

Jared made polite conversation with my parents and my sister but he did a pretty good show of ignoring my twin and Christian. I tried to stay calm but he was making it very hard not to explode and turn into super bitch. I kept my polite smile but I really just wanted to finish with the artsy stuff and go for a nice, long ride.

"Well I'm done," I announced when I couldn't handle keeping my mouth shut and not snapping at Jared any longer. I carefully laid my stocking, which simply had my name in bubbly glitter writing going down at a diagonal, on the fireplace and stood up, dusting off the extra sparkles from my shirt. The newspaper around where I'd been working was still pretty clean while Bobby and Christian and somehow managed to coat themselves with glitter and glue. I rolled my eyes at the pair and started toward the back door. "I'll be back in like an hour."

I bundled up warmly and grabbed a flashlight before I started out toward the barn. It wasn't dark yet but I definitely wasn't planning on being back before sunset. I saddled up Rugrat and let him take the lead away from the house and all of the problems that came with this crappy Christmas.

Somehow we ended up in the forest on a big hill that overlooked the remains of a small waterfall that had gotten destroyed when Newcastle came into existence. Rugrat had found the place years before on one of our rides and no one else knew about it so it made the perfect sanctuary. I slid from the saddle and stood on the edge of the cliff and let my mind wonder.

I knew that Jared would be pissed at me for abandoning him yet again but I couldn't bring myself to care. Jared and I were usually so compatible but now my boyfriend was getting on my last nerve. It was my sister's fault for making us spend Christmas with my family; this trip was going to ruin my relationship.

The cold wind bit at my still feverish cheeks signaling that it was time to leave but I didn't want to go back home just yet. I needed a minute to fall apart from trying to live in both of my very separate worlds at the same time and that's exactly what I did. I took a deep breath and just screamed my lungs out. The thick, fluffy snow absorbed the noise like it was nothing but it still felt good to let it all out.

"Hi, honey," Mom said when I walked into the kitchen after my calming ride. "I was starting to worry about you."

I shot her smile and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Sorry. I just needed some fresh air. I've missed Rugrat since I've been gone and I'm trying to spend as much time with him as I can."

She frowned slightly. "We've all missed having you home baby. You know, the rest of your family would like to see you, too."

I instantly felt guilty. "Sorry," I muttered while focusing on taking my snow boots off.

She wiped her hands on her apron and filled two mugs with hot chocolate before she sat at the round table across from me. I took the cup happily, not even worrying about calories or sugar intake. "Baylee, I want to talk to you about Jared. Are you happy with him?"

I blinked in surprise. I'd expect Amber to ask this kind of question but not my mother. "Of course," I answered automatically.

"I just want to be sure that he's the right one for you. He just isn't what I imagined for you."

"Why? Because everyone in this stupid town was so sure that Christian and I would get together? It was never going to happen," I snapped harshly.

She pursed her pink lips and I instantly regretted my words. "That's not it at all, Bay. It's just that you're so different with him. You two have been fighting since you got here and I don't think the two of you have stayed in the same room together for more than an hour once. It looks to me like you're struggling."

I looked down at the black mug between my hands. "You're the one that told me that love isn't easy."

"Oh, baby, it's not. But that doesn't mean that you should torture yourself trying to hold onto something that just isn't working out."

"Mama, we work. It's never been this hard to be with him in L.A. We don't have any of these kinds of problems when we're back home."

She took a sip of her cocoa before responding. "Do you two spend any real time together back at your fancy home? I saw at breakfast yesterday how you worked and he didn't even seem to mind that your head was somewhere else. Heck, he even encouraged you to put your job first. Real love comes above menial things like work."

I raised my own glass to my lips and took a long drink so that I wouldn't have to say anything. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my mother was right. Things were easy with Jared because they were always superficial. Our relationship was based on our mutual careers and it had none of the depth that normal couples had. "So what should I do?" I asked when I finally swallowed the sweet chocolate. My voice was barely above a whisper but I knew that she heard it.

"Oh, honey," she sighed. "I can't tell you that. That's something that you are going to have to figure out on your own."

"But how do I know?"

She smiled warmly and kissed the top of my head. "Trust me, Baylee. You'll know. But remember that you have to do what's best for you, regardless of everyone else's feelings."

I sighed as she walked out. She made that sound so easy but nothing on earth could be harder. I'd spent most of my life being a people pleaser that I didn't really know how to take everyone else out of the equation.

I finished up the sinfully delicious hot chocolate (seriously, I'd forgotten how good chocolate was) and went into the living room where my parents, Amber, and Jared were watching _Scrooged_. I maneuvered over to the loveseat with Jared and leaned up against him. "Listen, I'm sorry," I whispered. "I've been acting like a spoiled brat the last couple of days and I shouldn't have. I want us to be like we were."

And I meant almost everything I said. I really was sorry for acting like such a child and running out on him whenever he annoyed me. And I really did want us to go back to being that happy couple that Bobby had caught making out at the airport. But I didn't want things to be exactly like they used to. If nothing else, being back home had showed me that I deserved more than a boyfriend who was little more than a stranger. I deserved a real love that went deeper than us working together in the fashion industry.

"Okay," he answered simply. I stared at him for a moment and waited. The crap that had been going on between us had definitely not been all my fault and I thought he'd at least apologize for being such an ass. Well, I was wrong. After accepting my apology he turned his attention back to the movie not even acknowledging me enough to offer some popcorn.

I huffed and scooted a little bit away from him on the couch. Fine. If he wanted to keep acting cold and distant then I had no problem to keep acting like a bitch. We were virtually strangers and I was going to change that during this trip. There was going to be some depth in our relationship if it killed him.

After the movie Mom checked on the stockings and deemed them dry enough to hang on the mantle. Dad's was the biggest and was closest to the door. Next was Mom's crafty one, Bobby's glittery mess, the Amber's pink, perky, girly one. Christian's stocking was next to it and although he'd been just as messy as my brother his managed not to look like glitter and glue exploded on it. My simple one came next and then Jared's. If mine was plain then his was just downright boring. He'd used some of my mom's green felt letters to spell out his name on the fluffy white top. For a fashion photographer he really wasn't that creative.

"Oh, Baylee, it's so nice to see your stocking up there again," Mom gushed as she leaned up against my dad's side.

"Yeah, I guess it's pretty nice to do all this family stuff. But it's a shame we won't have stockings over at the Matthews', too. I've missed those snowball cookies Christian's mom used to make. Hey, were did he and Bobby go?"

Mom frowned. "Honey, did Christy tell you about Becca?"

Tears sprang into my eyes without my permission. "Yes. He said his mom was in the hospital in Cheyenne."

"That's right. Well Becca heard that you were in town and was insistent on seeing you. She said that there was no way she was going to be stuck in some hospital while her little Buggy was here. The boys went to pick her and Stan up. They'll be back by the party tomorrow."

A choked sob escaped past my lips but that was all that I was going to allow myself. "She's leaving a hospital just so she can see me? Mom, you have to call and tell her she can't do that. If she's there it's gotta be for a reason and she needs to stay."

"Trust me, I tried. But lord knows you got your stubbornness from hanging out with that woman too long. But I spoke with Stan and he assured me that the doctors stay it's perfectly fine for her to spend Christmas at home."

I let out a small laugh. Becca was a tough-as-nails woman of Hispanic descent. She'd grown up in Arizona but fell in love with her husband Stan on a college trip up to Wyoming to go skiing. She'd given up everything she knew to move up here for love. She was one of the most amazing people that I knew.

I couldn't sleep that night knowing that Becca Matthews was leaving her hospital and doctors just so that she could spend the holiday with me. The woman had been like a second mother to me growing up and it had taken me getting annoyed with Christian to find out that she was sick. I was a horrible, selfish person. I didn't deserve someone like her in my life.

When I realized that all I'd be doing in bed was tossing and turning I threw the thick blankets off of me and crept to my closet. It didn't look like anyone had gone through the clothes and shoes I had in there in the whole seven years I'd been gone. I pulled on a black knit sweater, some grey sweats, a pair of knee-high socks, and my black fur-lined boots that I'd gotten from Payless my senior year. I put on a thick coat over the ensemble and put my hair up in a messy bun. The whole outfit cost less than any of my shoes back in L.A. but it was comfortable and I'd be nice and toasty and the boots were sturdier than the Chanel one's I'd brought.. Once I was dressed I crept down the spiral staircase that led to my room and then out the kitchen door one the side of the house.

The light from the side porch was enough to guide me to the stables where I turned on my dad's camping lantern to see by. The horses snorted and whinnied as I passed but Rugrat stayed perfectly still when I got to his stall. "Hey, boy. Want to give me a ride over to Christy's? I'll bet there's room in the barn next to Hailey's Comet."

He let out a snort and let me saddle him up from probably the millionth time in the last couple of days I'd been home. The two miles to Christian's place was so familiar to both of us that I barely had to bother with the reins at all. Rugrat's hooves clomped along the snow in a comforting rhythm and in no time I was putting him in one of the empty stalls.

After my horse was taken care of I ran up to the front door and dug my hand inside the ceramic cactus next to the porch swing. Yep. The key to the door was still there in the cactus' gaping hole. I let myself into the large two-story house like I'd done so many times growing up. I paused at the door with a frown on my face. The place was immaculately spotless but it had an empty feel like no one had been there in a while. There was no fire under the bare mantle and the air was cold in more ways than one.

I took off my coat and boots and started turning lights on as I made my way up to the attic. I had to jump a few times to get the rope to pull down the steps but once I did I went up into the large room and started looking through boxes. The Matthews weren't known for their organizational skills and nothing was labeled so it was going to take me a few tries to find the right boxes.

I found seven boxes of Christmas decorations before I started getting tired. It took me forever to get them from the attic and then down to the living room but I knew that it was going to be worth it when Becca got home from the hospital and things were ready to go. When exhaustion finally started to hit I pulled on my coat and boots again and scribbled a quick note.

Couldn't sleep so I did some snooping. I think that I got all of the Xmas boxes and our stockings are all ready to be hung up. Love you, Becca!

~Bay

It was nearly one and I didn't feel like going back out into the barn and bugging the horses so I grabbed Christian's spare key and took his truck home since he was with Bobby in my mom's Ford Explorer. My house was still silent when I tiptoed back in and every little creak I made echoed around me. I felt like I was seventeen again trying to sneak out without my parents knowing. Once I got safely to my bedroom I stripped off the big coat and boots and changed my sweater for an old T-shirt. I kept the sweats and long socks to keep me nice and warm while I drifted off into a deep, comfortable sleep.

  5. Shopping Trip

The first thing that I was consciously aware of was that I felt sea sick which made absolutely no sense because the closest thing to water for miles around was snow. I peeled my sleepy eyes open and saw my sister's large blue eyes and smiling face bobbing up and down. Her bouncing was what was giving me the boat-rocking sensation that was making me sick but she didn't stop even with the death glare I gave her. "Wake up! It's Christmas Eve, eve!"

"Thank you for that, Eloise," I growled, "but some of us enjoy sleep. What the hell time is it anyway?"

"It's 8:30. The party's at nine tonight and I want to go shopping with you like we used to. You're going to buy me a new dress to wear."

"What kind of dress are we talking about here?"

Her eyes got a dreamy look to them as she spoke. "I want something that celebrities wear on the red carpet. I want you to make me look like those models that you boss around on the runways."

"You want a brand new dress for a party thrown by a bunch of ranchers?"

Her full lips turned down in a pout. "Look, Baylee, I know this might not seem like a big deal to you but it is to me. I'm finally 21 and I'm not just Bobby Cooper's baby sister that he's always looking out for. I want to make an impression this year and I need your help. Please."

I let out a heavy sigh. "Fine. I can tell that there's a guy you want to impress so I guess I'll help you. But Jared's coming too because I can't ditch him again; it wouldn't be fair."

Amber rolled her eyes but gave me a tight hug. "That's fine, Bay. I'm just glad we get to have some sister time. You know, I haven't gotten to hang out with you since I was 14."

I froze in her enthusiastic embrace. I couldn't believe that it had been so long since I'd spent any real time with my little sister. I'd been so busy with my own life that I'd missed out on so much of hers. "Of course, Amber," I said through the lump in my throat. "I'll get you any dress you want. Let's go get some breakfast and then afterwards we'll get ready and we can go."

"Good morning, girls," Mom sang when we walked in as she flipped pancakes on the stove. "Would either of you happen to know why Christian's truck is in the driveway?"

I couldn't help the blush that crept into my cheeks. "I couldn't sleep so I rode Rugrat over to their house last night. I didn't leave until really late so I just took the car."

Amber burst out laughing. "You were breaking and entering and then you stole Christy's truck? That explains why you have so much nice stuff."

My dark eyes narrowed at her lighter ones. "It wasn't breaking and entering if I used the key. And I resent you saying that I had to steal stuff to get what I have. I am very successful on my own, thank you very much. I just didn't want Becca to have to worry about anything when she got home."

My mom silenced Amber with one look. "I'm sure that she and Stan will appreciate it. I'll have your dad take the truck back and get Rugrat later. Now why don't we start eating? Oh, good morning, Jared," she added.

I spun around so quickly that I got dizzy. Jared was in the doorway glaring down at me. My family didn't see the hateful look in my boyfriend's eyes but I knew him well enough to know that he was pissed. I shot him a dazzling smile and skipped over to his side. "Hey, babe. Can we talk in the other room for a second?" I cooed.

"Sure," he grunted. I wanted to roll my eyes at his caveman response.

The second we were alone I turned off my bullshit happiness. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you looking at me like I ruined one of your cameras?"

"You were over at his house at night?"

My jaw locked together to keep from bitching him out. "The house was completely empty. Christian is in Cheyenne with my brother, remember? It's not like I went over to pay him a late night visit. I just went to pull Christmas boxes out of storage."

"Did you ever go over for late night visits?"

"Yes," I retorted sarcastically before I could stop myself. "I used to go all the time to screw Christy while his parents slept on the other side of the wall. Forget the fact that they were like extended family to me or that they could have easily told my mom and dad."

"Dammit, Baylee. I'm being serious here so you don't have to be a smartass. I want the truth."

"I have never slept with Christian. And even if I had, it would have been before I knew you. I'm not the kind of girl that would ever cheat on you, Jared. We're leaving in three days so can we please try to have some fun while we're here."

He sighed heavily. "Fine. What did you have planned?"

I smiled, the first genuine one I'd given him since the airport. "Amber wants me to take her shopping and I want you to come with us."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him. "Now that sounds like a good idea. Much better than being stuck on this stupid farm all day again."

I pursed my lips but stood on my toes to press my mouth to his. "Thank you," I said quietly. "I haven't gotten to spend any real time with my sister in a while and it will be nice to get to spoil her for a bit. And I haven't gotten any time with you since we've been here. It'll be nice to show her a bit of our world for a while."

"Mh-mm," he agreed as he wrapped his arms around me. "And maybe we can stop by a lingerie store to get something that I can unwrap for Christmas."

I smirked. "Oh, that does sound nice. But what about my present?"

"Don't worry about that, Baylee. You'll get yours once I open mine."

I giggled a little and pressed myself more firmly against his body. Want for him coursed through my body but I was surprised that my need for Jared wasn't as strong as it usually was. You'd think that sleeping alone for three nights that my body would be begging for him but I didn't really care. I mean, sure, it would have been nice to have some alone time with my boyfriend but I wasn't really hot for him like I should have been. Not even the idea of lingerie shopping was getting my blood pumping.

"That'd be great," I said without much enthusiasm. "Now let's get back into the kitchen and have some breakfast so we can go shopping. If I remember correctly, Newcastle's got some pretty decent shopping."

"Sure."

Breakfast was pretty polite but felt like I was at one of those formal gatherings I went to with designers to discuss runways. It wasn't as fun as I would have liked but at least it didn't have any of the tension that had been present the last few days when the boys had been there. I was walking on eggshells trying not to say something that pissed off Jared so I mostly just talked to my sister about our upcoming shopping trip.

"Oh, hey, Mom?" she said suddenly between bites of French toast. "When are the boys getting back? I hope we'll be back in time."

Mom took a drink of her orange juice to clear her throat before she answered. "I just talked to Christian a little bit ago. They're at the hospital with Becca now getting things situated. He said that they want to leave at around nine so they should be here by about one."

I swallowed back my eggs and felt my cheeks turn a little pink although I had no clue why I was suddenly turning self-conscious. I was dying to see Becca again so it would only be natural for me to be excited for them to get back. But the truth was that I was thinking about Christy getting back, too. _No, stop it, Baylee. What the hell is wrong with your head today? Becca's the important one_ , I scolded myself.

"That's great," I managed to say easily. "We should be back in plenty of time."

Mom smiled. "Well I'd hope so. Becca's suffering four hours in the car with Bobby and Christian for you. Lord knows those boys are wild."

I couldn't help but laugh. Road trips with those two were definitely an experience that could drive anyone insane. "We'll be here when she gets home," I promised. "And if you talk to the boys again tell them that they'd better not annoy her or they'll answer to me."

She got up and kissed my forehead before she started collecting dishes. "I will. Now you three have fun on your little adventure."

My expensive clothes that I'd brought with me from L.A. were finally being put to good use. I wasn't stuck around the house so I went all out with my wardrobe. My long brown hair was curled in loose spirals that I let fall around my face. I had a long white coat closed over my long-sleeved, green blouse with a wide black belt highlighting my trim waist. I wore a pair of black leggings under some dark jeans that were tucked into my black Payless boots that I'd worn for my ride the night before. I only added a little bit of makeup, some pink lip gloss and purple eye shadow. I looked great and I felt like I could take on the world.

"Whoa. You look hot," my sister complimented when I met up with her in the living room.

I smiled. My outfit wasn't exactly something that would get me noticed back home (other than by people thinking I was crazy for wearing a coat in L.A.) so I really enjoyed the accolade. "Thanks. You look pretty good, too."

It wasn't a lie. She looked simple but cute with her brown winter coat zipped up, faded jeans, and light brown winter boots that were hidden under her pants. Her blonde hair was pulled up away from her face and her eyeliner and mascara made her blue eyes pop.

Amber, Jared, and I piled into her black Tracker and drove downtown to where all of the shops were nestled. The snow had become brown slush on the road and in the parking lot near one of the larger dress shops where Amber parked her car. The snowy mush made a wet sopping sound beneath my boots. My sister started toward Ragtag, a small store where we usually bought dressy clothes, including my prom dress, but I put my hand on her arm and stopped her. "Not today, Sis. Today we're going to Perfect Passion."

My sister's eyes widened. Everyone and their mom went to browse around Perfect Passion but hardly anyone could afford the exquisite clothes. It was an amazing little boutique that I'd always wanted to shop at but never had the money for. But now that I was a success with plenty of cash to burn I was going to live out my fantasy with my little sister.

Amber's jaw was slack as she gazed around hopefully at all of the gorgeous dresses. It was a lot like many of the boutiques I frequented back in California so I wasn't as impressed as my sister but it was still nice to be able to hang out and shop at a store that used to be off limits for my budget. She giggled as she yanked me after her to examine all of the racks of dresses. She loaded up her arms with everything that she liked in her size and looked like a kid in a toy store.

"So what's this big party?" Jared asked me when Amber took her first load into the dressing room.

I kept my focus on the pink strapless dress and ran my fingers over the smooth material. "It's just this thing that all of the ranching families put on at the church down the road from my house. Everyone dresses up and comes out for food and dancing and stuff. It's sort of like the country version of a ball but with a lot more horse talk."

"So like a black tie thing?"

I pressed a green spaghetti-strap dress to myself and smiled up at him. "Exactly. And I'm telling you now that you'll be the hottest guy there."

He shrugged. "It's not exactly a gala but I guess it'll do."

I managed to keep a tight smile in place as I shooed him toward the men's section.

I grabbed a couple of dresses and went to join my sister in the changing room. She stepped out of her stall and spun around in a black knee-length dress. "Well what do you think?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Too homecoming. This is the biggest party that the horse ranchers in Newcastle throw and you want to look spectacular. Try for a little more prom in your dress."

She nodded and skipped back into her room as I went into the one right next to her. I slipped out of my winter clothes and stepped the pink strapless dress. I zipped the back as high as I could then stepped out of my dressing room to show Amber. "Zip me up?" I asked.

"Oh, that one's pretty," she gushed when I was zipped and turned to show her. "You'd definitely need a different bra, though."

I smiled and tugged at the straps clearly visible above the sleeveless dress. "Oh, really? And I thought this one would go perfectly."

She laughed. "No. You really do need a different one. But what do you think of this dress?" Her dress was a dark green with a halter top that only showed a small portion of cleavage and hugged her frame perfectly. The dress loosened up at her hips and flowed down to the floor so she could move easily.

"I like it," I assured her. "It's very Christmas-y. You could put your hair up with red ribbon."

"It's not too much?" She didn't sound so sure of herself now that I was encouraging her to get the expensive dress.

"Of course it is. Those cowboys'll eat their hearts out. That's what you want, isn't it?"

"Well yeah. But I don't know if it'll be worth it. The dress is $195."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry about the price. If you like it then you should get it."

She agreed and we changed back into our street clothes to meet up with Jared by the registers. We paid for the dresses and Jared's new suit then I ordered him to the coffee shop so that my sister and I could go to Sweet Nothings Lingerie. Amber blushed like crazy when I pulled her into the little shop. "You have to get something," I told her, "because I highly doubt that you have any bras that will work with that dress. It doesn't have to be anything racy if you don't want, just something that won't be sticking out of the dress."

"Fine," she conceded. I had her try on a couple of strapless bras with her dress before we found a beige one that wouldn't be noticeable with the halter top.

Then it was my turn to shop. I quickly found a bra and some panties that would work with my dress and then started going through the skimpy, sexy stuff. My sister's face was beat red as I examined a panty set that was designed to be like a slutty Christmas elf. I thought that she would die when I took the little outfit up to the counter with the rest of our purchases.

"Holy crap, Bay," she whispered. "You're a skank."

I rolled my dark eyes. "No I'm not. I'm just comfortable enough in myself to wear that kind of stuff."

Her eyes were round. "I don't think I'd ever be able to wear that for a guy."

I frowned. "It's not just for him. I like that it makes me feel pretty."

"You know, Christy always thought you were pretty even in sweats."

I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at her. I didn't like the way that my heart stuttered in my chest from her comment and I hated that my face was starting to heat up just a bit. It was Christian we were talking about so I shouldn't have let her remark affect me at all but it had more impact than even she knew.

  6. Homecoming

I hid my shopping bags in my room the second we got back to the house. Jared was relentless in trying to see what was in the Sweet Nothings bag but I was stubborn. I carefully laid the dress out on the bed but the bag with my new panties was tucked behind a stack of long forgotten racing trophies. My hand paused on the dusty metal of a particularly old one for a moment. I'd been nine at the time in a junior's race competed on Burmese ponies which aren't all that fast. I was the only girl and the smallest by far. It was after I'd won my very first First Place trophy that Christian and I had fantasized about starting a thoroughbred racing farm.

_Stop it, Baylee,_ I ordered myself, yanking my fingers away as if I'd been burned. That little girl that dreamed of nothing but horses was long gone. I loved my Rugrat and I sometimes missed being in the stables everyday but I wasn't that girl anymore. I was successful, and rich, and happy in L.A. with my boyfriend.

So then why did I feel like I wanted to cry remembering that old life I gave up so long ago?

"Baylee," my mom called making me jump out of my reverie. "Bobby and the Matthews are almost here!"

"Coming," I yelled back. I pulled myself away from the closet full of trophies and awards and quickly made my way from the loft to the living room. I went and snuggled up to Jared's side on the couch where he was watching some football with my dad.

Ten minutes went by before we could all hear the roar of my mom's muffler. Amber got a big grin on her face and started bouncing in her seat. Even in her fidgeting, she was more patient than I was. The moment I heard the loud engine I was out of my seat and out the door.

As soon as the car rolled to a stop I yanked open the front passenger's door. Becca smiled brightly when she saw me and her hazel eyes were shining with excitement. Becca was small, five-five like me but with better curves that I could ever dream of. Her long hair was the light brown color of cinnamon and fell in thick waves down to the small of her back. She was like a permanent fixture in my life but looking at her sitting in that car something was off.

"Baylee, _mija_ , it's so good to see you. We've all missed you around here."

"Oh, I've missed you, too," I gushed.

She spread her arms wide and I hugged her. My spine stiffened just a fraction in her embrace because I could finally pinpoint what I'd been missing. She felt so weak and fragile. She was too skinny and her skin seemed to be hanging on like paper. When I pulled back I noticed that her usual glow was gone and she looked pale.

Becca smiled like she didn't have a care in the world and it was hard to keep from bursting into tears. "Now let's go inside before we freeze to death. Besides, I want to meet this _novio_ that has been keeping you so occupied. The two of you must really love each other if he's spending Christmas with your family. I don't think you've ever invited a boyfriend home before."

My stomach tightened for some reason. "Of course, Becca. You shouldn't be out in the cold."

She let out an indignant huff and pouted like a little girl. "I'm not dead yet, little missy. I refuse to be treated like some _viejita_."

I couldn't help but laugh. Becca wasn't even fifty yet so it shouldn't have surprised me that she didn't want people to treat her like she was old and on her deathbed. I shot her an easy smile and her annoyed look instantly softened to a grin. Becca had always had a hard time staying mad at me and my charming little smile did wonders to break her out of whatever grim mood I'd inadvertently put her in. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to help me shake off the unease of seeing her so delicate.

My arm was laced through Becca's as we walked through the front door. She stepped away from me for only a moment to hug my mom, dad, and sister as they all said hello and I stayed close by right on the fringe of the happy homecoming. It was a little weird that I was on the outskirts on this big happy family that I had once been so deeply involved. I almost felt invisible, like I was just watching one of those cheesy '90's sitcoms where everyone is perfect and you wished you could be part of the family. The only difference was that this _was_ my family. I hated feeling like an outsider.

"Alright, alright, enough," Becca giggled brushing off Amber's attempt to gossip about all that Becca had missed since she's been in the hospital. "I get to see you people almost all the time. I only have a couple of days with Baylee and I'm not going to waste them. No offense."

"Wow, thanks, Mom," Christian mumbled. "I feel like I'm being replaced."

She tapped his cheek lovingly before looping her arm in mine once again. "You are, dear. For the next few days, Baylee is my baby. I'm going to spoil her while I can. You'll get over it."

I couldn't help but laugh. Christian shot me a death glare which honestly didn't do anything but make me laugh harder. I only came back from my momentary giddiness when Jared obnoxiously cleared his throat.

I adjusted myself so that I was still holding onto Becca but Jared was on my other side included in our little circle. His dark eyes narrowed slightly at mine but in the next instant he plastered on his best fake smile. "Becca, this is Jared Marcos, my boyfriend. Jared, this is my second mom, Becca."

He took her free hand and gently kissed the knuckles like an old-fashioned gentleman. "It's so nice to meet you. Baylee couldn't stop talking about you once she heard you'd be here for Christmas."

Becca grinned. "He's cute," she told me in a very loud whisper. "Well, Jared, I'm sorry to say that I've heard only a little bit about you from the boys. Talking to Christian and Bobby can be like pulling teeth. I want to know all about you. How did you two meet? Where are you from? How did Baylee convince you to join her wacky family for the holidays? Don't hold anything back."

Jared looked momentarily flustered by her volley of questions which was admittedly a nice change from his usual arrogance. "I'm from New York City, ma'am. I just moved down to L.A. about two years ago when I got a photography job. Baylee and I met at one of her fashion shows. She asked me to come meet her family so I did."

Becca glared. "Seriously? That's it? You're just as bad as those two." She jerked her thumb at my brother and her son who were on the couch placing bets on the football game. Then Becca turned her dark, probing gaze to me.

I shrugged. "Really, Becca, there's not much to tell. Like Jared said, we met at a show I coordinated and just hit it off. The end."

"Bo-ring!" She stretched the word out way more than she should have and I knew that she was going to be sharing her opinion whether we liked it or not. "Where's the fun in that? There's no spark, no excitement."

I smiled. "Sure there is. Just because I can't explain it very well doesn't mean that it's not there."

She pursed her full lips and started pulling me into the kitchen after my mother. Jared went to join the guys and Amber in the living room watching sports. "I'm sure there's _something_ there," she started, "otherwise you wouldn't be with him. But, Bay, you've always wanted a love that makes your toes tingle. You used to talk about that perfect guy that kept you guessing. The kind that surprised you, made you laugh. You wanted passion, a love that completely consumes you. I'm sorry, Buggy, but I don't see that."

"She's says she's happy," my mother told Becca as she sat with us at the table and setting down three cups of coffee. "I've already tried talking to her."

"Oh, _mija_ , actions speak much louder than words. And it looks to me that this relationship is full of a whole lot of words and not much action."

I pressed my lips together in a hard line. "He gets me. He understands how much I love the city. Jared is just as ambitious as I am and I don't have to hold myself back from the future that I want."

"But does that future involve him?" Becca demanded.

"What?"

"Sure, he's fun right now while you're still young and finding your path. But is he who you want to spend the rest of your life with? When you look ten, twenty, fifty years from now, is he who you see beside you as you conquer the fashion world?"

"Of course not," I said quickly. I took in a sharp breath. My eyes widened but I wasn't seeing my mom or Becca. I could see myself. Older. More successful. But it was still me. I didn't know who the faceless man standing with me was but it sure as hell wasn't Jared.

"That's what I thought," Becca said with a satisfied nod.

"So what?" I snapped a little too harshly, still shaken from my heart's sudden confession to my head. "You just said he's fine for now. Isn't that what matters?"

"Baby, why waste your time if you don't even love him? If you can't picture your life with him then what's the point? We just want what's best for you and that means that we want you to be with someone you love."

"I don't want to be alone," I whispered. "I do want the kind of love that you both have but I don't want to lose myself and be stuck with some guy. It's not that fiery passion that I always imagined but I'm okay with that. I appreciate your concern but I know what I'm doing. Can we please just enjoy the time that I'm here without all the lectures?"

Becca's smile was radiant and it was almost easy to imagine that it was genuine. "Of course, Buggy. You're here and that's what matters most. I want to spend as much time as possible with you. Would you mind driving me home for a bit? We didn't get the chance to stop by and I would love to stop by so I can start the _tamales_. It's not Christmas without them and your mom and sister both refuse to let me teach them my family's recipe."

"Oh, Becca, you really don't have to cook."

She glared in my direction. "It's tradition, Bay, and I will not let it pass because I spent some time cooped up in a hospital. Now are you going to come help me or not? They should have been started by now so they'd be ready for tomorrow night."

I grinned. Most of my family could barely eat anything spicy but I loved Becca's homemade Mexican food. Her _tamales_ and _menudo_ were seriously some of the best things about special occasions like birthdays and holidays. "I'm coming."

I said a quick goodbye to everyone and offered Jared to go with us to start on the food but he refused like I knew he would. Becca and I made small talk on the way over in my mom's car and I noticed that she was very careful to avoid mentioning boys, including her own son. I was glad for the distraction from my troubles and when we got to her place she was eager to get straight to work so I wouldn't have time to think of anything but her food.

We walked into the kitchen and her gaze instantly landed on my hastily scribbled note, the one thing out of place in her immaculate kitchen. She read through it quickly and her eyes filled with emotion. "You got everything from the attic by yourself?"

"I think so. I only found seven boxes."

Her brows arched. "Only? You should have waited until Christian got home to help you. Those boxes are heavy and you could have gotten hurt."

I smiled and made a muscle. "I'm a big, tough girl. Lord knows I can whoop Christian's butt any day of the week."

She laughed. "Well, thank you, Baylee. Tonight I'll have Stan and Christian put up all of the outside decorations and some of the inside ones. Then tomorrow you and the rest of your family can come help with the tree and stockings."

I grinned. "That sounds great."

"Good. Now help me get started on the _masa_. We can come back later to spread it on the corn husks."

"Oh, Becca. I've seriously missed your cooking. You can't find any good, homemade Mexican food in L.A."

She shared a conspiratorial wink. "That's because you don't know where to look. You've gotten too spoiled, Baylee."

"Excuse me?"

Her smile was mischievous. "You have become used to fancy and expensive things. You need to broaden your circle of friends if you want to find anything authentic in a city full of people who make a living on pretending."

I frowned and furrowed my eyebrows. "Did you just call me fake?"

She shrugged and started setting the oven. "I love you, Baylee, but I don't hold back, as you very well know. I'm just calling it how I see it."

"Wow, don't sugarcoat it or anything," I huffed.

"I won't." Her expression was dead serious as she looked at me. Becca was honest whether you liked it or not. That was one of the things that I admired most about her. But that did not mean that I wanted to get lectured any more than I already had this week.

"Can we please not talk about this?"

"If we can't talk about boys or your life in Hollywood then what else can we talk about? I assume that reminiscing about your childhood with Christian is also out. We're not strangers, Bay, so let's please not act like it. I hate stupid small talk."

I sighed. "Seriously, Becca? I love you and all, but getting yelled at isn't exactly how I imagined my vacation."

"Who's yelling?"

"Uh, my parents, my sister and brother, Christian. And I feel like Jared and I have been yelling at each other since we got into Bobby's truck at the airport."

"Okay, no arguing. Let's just talk. You're a big girl now, Baylee. You don't have to just sit there and roll your eyes like you used to. If you've got something to say, then say it."

I sighed. "Okay. Why did you call me fake?"

She stirred her big bowl and her hands were already covered in stuff for her _tamales_. "I've known you most of your life. That little girl I watched grow up was just so bubbly and energetic. She was comfortable making a fool of herself because she really didn't care what others thought about her. But now I look at you and I feel like I'm seeing someone who isn't comfortable being herself. You're too busy trying to be perfect. Don't you know that those of us who love you don't mind when you look like a total idiot."

"I do not look like a total idiot," I argued with a roll of my brown eyes.

"Perhaps you should," she challenged.

I opened my mouth to argue but nothing came out. Maybe she was right.

  7. Party

I looked hot. My new dress hugged my torso to highlight my best assets then flowed down to my strappy silver heels. My dark hair was curled in loose spirals and pinned so that it all cascaded down my right shoulder. My smoky eye shadow was a shimmering grey that made my eyes look intense and my lips were done in a light pink gloss. I had a black clutch purse for my phone and some money. Like I said, I looked hot.

I met up with my parents, sister, and Jared in the living room. Mom and Dad had on their Christmas best which was a nice long-sleeved, velvet blue dress for her and some dark slacks and a plaid button-up for him. Amber had on her new dress and her blonde locks were straightened and held back with a red silk ribbon. She'd accessorized with a pair of dangling silver earrings and her makeup was done in subtle colors that made her look gorgeous. Jared had on a dark suit and forest green tie. He looked like a million bucks but I was so used to him dressing fancy that I hardly took notice in him. "Wow, drool-worthy," I said. Amber got the world's biggest smile on her face as she headed out the door being extra careful about where she stepped.

Mom wrapped a faux fur coat around her shoulders then kissed my cheek. "You look beautiful, Baylee. And thank you so much for taking your sister shopping. You have no idea how much it means to her."

I blushed a little. "It was no problem, Mama. I'm glad she had fun."

My dad took my mom's arm and led her out toward the car. The sun was still low over the horizon and there was no wind so it wasn't all that cold as I stepped out wrapped in a pale pink shawl over my dress. Someone, probably my dad, had cleared the pathway to Mom's Explorer so I didn't have to worry about snow or ice. Jared followed me out and sat in the back with me and my sister. Every so often during the ride I heard him complaining that it wasn't a limo but I wasn't going to let his attitude spoil my evening.

We got to Christian Hope Church after only about ten minutes of driving. There were already a bunch of trucks and SUVs in the parking lot and only a handful of smaller cars. We parked next to Bobby's familiar truck just as he and Christian were getting out. Bobby cleaned up pretty well. He was dressed pretty much the same way as my dad and was sporting a bolo tie. Christian had been riding on the passenger side and his door opened right next to mine. Holy crap, he looked good. He had a red dress shirt and white tie with green mistletoe under his sports coat and some really nice dress pants. His hat and boots were present, as usual, but the whole cowboy look made him look extremely sexy. He grinned at me through the window and opened my door like a true gentleman. "Hi, Bay."

"Hey. Uh, thanks," I managed to get out as I accepted his help climbing from the car. I blushed and quickly let go of his hand as soon as I was on solid ground. Okay, well, maybe not solid. My heel caught on a patch of ice and I would have gone tumbling to the ground if it weren't for Christy's quick reflexes. His arms instantly went around my waist.

"Whoa, Baylee. You might want to be careful walking in those shoes. With your luck, you'll be on your ass every two seconds."

"It wasn't the shoes. I am perfectly capable to walk in stilettos. It was the ice," I defended.

He let out a chuckle. "Yeah, okay."

I was steady on my feet but Christian still didn't let go. My heart started racing way faster than it should and a shiver ran down my spine. "Hey, are you cold? Here, take my jacket."

I didn't know what to say. Fortunately, Jared chose that moment to make his way from his side of the car. He held out his arm for me and got ready to head in like we were on a red carpet. "C'mon, Baylee. We should get inside."

"Huh? Oh, right. Uh, thanks for not letting me fall, Christy."

He shot me a half smile. "I'd never let you fall, Buggy."

The way my face was heating up I didn't have to worry about the cold anymore. I pressed myself more firmly to Jared. Sure, he wasn't perfect, but he was mine. He was real and our relationship wasn't something that I had to fantasize about. It was work but there was nothing that Jared could do that could actually hurt me. I'd learned long ago that Christian was another story entirely.

The party was already in full swing. There were probably 80 people already, families that had owned their ranches for generations and had been permanent fixtures in my life growing up. There were men talking about horses, races and jumping competitions coming up and who to look out for. Women talked about their kids and gossiped about everything. Little kids ran around with each other, some digging into the junk food laid out and some trying to sneak behind the curtain that acted as a stage to see the pile of presents that would be distributed later. Teenagers talked and flirted and I saw a girl that I used to babysit in the corner making out with some boy. I rolled my eyes and really hoped that I hadn't looked that desperate when I was younger.

The rest of my family walked in soon after. Bobby had escorted Amber in but the second she was in the church's gymnasium, she pulled away from him and grabbed my hand. "We're going to go mingle," she called over her shoulder as she started dragging me into the middle of the floor.

"What the hell was that about?"

"You know how protective Bobby gets and Christian's nearly as bad. They'd never let me have a real conversation with a guy without causing trouble. But I don't think I can go on my own. Please come with me, Baylee?"

"Um, sure. But can you tell me where we're going?"

She pointed to where a group of guys clustered. They all looked maybe a year or two younger than I was and I vaguely recognized some of them from the race track or the high school football team. Her eyes were trained on the tallest of the group. He was cute, I guess, with shaggy brown hair and green eyes and an easy smile. He'd been a Sophomore my Senior year and had been quarterback for the varsity football team. "That's Graham," she whispered dreamily. "I've known him forever but recently we've really started to hit it off. At least, I think we have. I need help."

"Wait, I thought you liked Christy."

A giggle escaped her lips. "Christy? Eww, no. We flirt and stuff but that's it. He's like my brother and besides, he's totally in love with this other girl. So will you help me with Graham or not?"

I shrugged. "Sure. Let's go."

"Wait. Now?"

I didn't give her a chance to chicken out as I pulled her toward the men. "Hey, how's it going tonight?" I asked in my most cheerful voice. "Great party, huh?"

A couple of them went slack jawed and one of them had the stupidest look on his face. Graham smiled politely at me but his gaze quickly went to my sister. "Hey, I know you," one of them said with a goofy grin. "You're Baylee Cooper, right? You were one seriously badass horse trainer."

I let out a silvery laugh. "That's right. But that was so long ago. I came to party so I think I'll leave the horse talk to my twin, Bobby."

"That's too bad," the guy said.

"Anyway," I replied quickly trying to get away from the subject that was suddenly making my stomach tighten, "have you guys met my sister Amber? I think you would have all gone to school together."

"I remember," one of the gawkers said. "You were a cheerleader. Damn, you were hot."

Graham had still said nothing so I figured it was time to get him involved in the conversation. "I remember you. Graham, right? I think you played football. You know, I could never understand that sport, to be honest. Amber used to play when she was younger, though."

His emerald eyes brightened. "You did?"

My sister blushed bright pink but it made her look even more adorable. "I was in the peewee league when I was like eleven or twelve. I was never as good as you, of course."

Graham grinned. "I'm sure you were. To tell you a secret, I had to practice every day. Why'd you quit?"

Amber laughed. "Puberty hit. Getting tackled and catching a football started to hurt a little more after that."

Graham started to laugh right along with her. "Well that's too bad. Hey, do you want to go get some punch or something? I hear Mrs. Wilcox made it extra sweet this year."

Her eyes lit up. Well that was easy. "Sure. Uh, Baylee, do you mind if I ditch you?"

"Of course not. I'd better go find Jared and make him dance with me. I'll see you two later." I winked as he held out his arm for her and she placed her hand in the crook of his elbow.

I made my way back toward the entrance but found Jared sitting at a table with my parents. "Hey. Let's dance," I ordered. He was a little hesitant to dance but we'd been to enough big parties that he knew I would get my way. He followed me to the dance floor as a slow song came on and put his arms around my waist as I rested my head on his shoulder. His touch was familiar but maybe not exactly a comfort, like my three-inch wedges that I'd broken in so that I wouldn't fall on my face anymore but that still hurt my feet if I wore them all day.

"Are you glad we came?" he asked.

"Yeah. I've missed my family. It's just so weird to be back."

He gave me a strange look. "You're different. I've only ever heard you complain about Newcastle."

I frowned. "I didn't leave home on a good note. Let's just try to enjoy this party."

I let myself forget all of the crap that had been going on the last few days and have fun. It wasn't like those after parties for big name designers after a show but it was still pretty great. Actually, it was probably more fun because the politics of the fashion world weren't getting in the way.

At around ten I was sitting down, my feet sore from dancing. Amber had popped up a few times with Graham and she was absolutely gushing. I'd seen the rest of my family and Christian's every once in a while but we were all getting swept up in the night. Anyway, I sat there sipping some punch and nibbling on some homemade desserts with Jared.

Suddenly we were joined by a pretty brunette girl. He had pitch black hair, a golden tan, and stunning blue eyes. She was a couple of inches taller than me and as skinny as the anorexic models I had to work with on the runways. Her little black dress was absolutely gorgeous and I suddenly had the urge to slap her. "Oh my goodness! Baylee! Oh, honey, it's been too long," she gushed as she wrapped me in a tight hug.

I tried not to be too obvious as I shook her off but subtlety wasn't my thing. "Hi, Chelsea," I said with zero emotion in my voice.

"I'd heard you were back. I haven't seen you since graduation. How have you been doing?"

"Fine."

Her blue eyes darted around frantically looking for something to say. I was really hoping that she'd get the hint and leave but she wasn't that smart. She saw Jared and smiled brightly. "Hello. I'm Chelsea Brennan. You must be the boyfriend. Wow, Bay, he's cute. Even hotter than Christian."

I saw Jared's jaw tighten and I _really_ wanted to hit her. "Yeah, I know."

Then if things couldn't get worse, Christian himself showed up. "Baylee, have you seen my mom? I feel like a waiter," Christian complained. "She asked me to get her some punch and the disap- Oh, hey, Chelsea."

Her pretty pink lips turned down into a frown. "Hello, Christian."

That vindictive part of me was a little glad to see how awkward and icy things were between the two. Chelsea cleared her throat and turned back toward me. "Listen, Baylee, I really hope that we can be friends."

"Look, I'm only here for like two more days. Neither of us are teenagers so let's not dwell on what happened. I am sorry that things didn't work out and I'm really sorry about your baby but it's none of my business so don't try to get me involved. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go find my sister."

The look of shock on Chelsea's face was absolutely priceless. I got up and left the table but didn't actually go looking for my sister. I knew that she was probably having the best time ever and I didn't want to be as annoying as Bobby. Instead I made my way into the foyer area and out the side door. The night was chilly and I regretted not getting a thick jacket. If I stayed out long I was going to freeze but I just couldn't bring myself to care.

Only a few minutes passed before someone joined me on the steps. I didn't need to look to know that Christian had followed me. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked gently.

I huffed. "I really wish that people would stop worrying about me."

"I've been worrying about you since you fell through that ice. It's sort of become habit."

"I'm sorry about what I said inside. But I did mean it; I really am sorry about what happened."

From the corner of my eye I saw him shrug then carefully peel of his jacket and set it on my shoulders. It was warm and smelled like him and I found myself getting caught up in the delicious scent. "It wasn't your fault. And you're right, let's not dwell on the past."

I sighed and I felt tears prick my eyes. Crap, I hated to cry and I was going to ruin my makeup if I did. "You know, we never did get the chance to hash it all out. Maybe we should dwell on it, at least for a minute."

"You mean right now?"

I took a shaky breath and nodded. "You never told me what happened. All I know is that one day we were going to go to California together and the next you'd gotten Chelsea pregnant. For over a year I thought that you two had gotten married and were one big happy family but then your mom told me that the whole wedding fell through and there was no more baby."

Christian ran his hand through his blonde hair. "Remember when we went to Senior prom together and we got in that big fight?"

"I remember fighting but I for the life of me I can't remember what it was about. I was so mad at you that I walked home."

"Right. Well after you left I went to Brandon Fletcher's party and got really drunk. Chelsea was there and one thing led to another and before I knew it, I'd had sex with her."

I'd obviously known the gist of what had happened but it was a little depressing to hear him go into the specifics of his whirlwind relationship with the girl that I had once considered a friend. "I remember you told me after graduation that you were having a baby and couldn't go to Los Angeles with me. You said you would do the right thing and marry her. Bobby had told me that the wedding would be in August after I'd already left for school."

He nodded. "Well that was the plan. By the time you left, we were ready to be married. But then a week before the wedding, she told me that she'd lost the baby almost a month before. As you can imagine, I was pretty pissed at her for keeping such a big secret. At first we were just going to postpone the wedding but then we started fighting all the time and things just got really tense. One day I got home and she was just gone. I'd spent too much on the almost-wedding that I wouldn't have been able to afford California and by the time I got that money back I knew that I belonged in Newcastle. My dad needed help and my mom was starting to get sick."

"I never heard from you again," I whispered. I was glad that my voice was so small because I knew that if it was any louder I would have sounded like I was whining and I really didn't want that.

He sighed heavily. "I know. I should have been the one to tell you what happened but I knew that you would hate me for ditching you. You were my best friend, Bay, and I really wanted to move to California with you but I just couldn't. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Sure." The single word sounded strangled but I blamed that on the freezing cold. "That all happened a long time ago and it really doesn't matter anymore. Things have changed and I guess it all worked out for the best in the end. Right?"

He frowned and his intense green eyes studied me so hard that I fidgeted. "Did they, Baylee? Do you really think that everything that's changed has been for the better?"

I groaned and shrugged out of his jacket. "Not again. I'm really starting to get pissed off that everyone keeps judging Jared. It's not like I was going to become a nun so I don't see why everyone's picking on my boyfriend."

"I wasn't even talking about him," Christian bit back. "I'm talking about you. You were so family-oriented but you haven't been back to see them in seven years. I know that's partially my fault but you're a lot... harder than you used to be. Your priorities have gotten so screwed up."

"You're a jackass!" I snarled. "What gives you the right to judge who I've become? Things are going great in my life. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with my priorities." In typical girl fashion, I stomped on his toe with my heel and turned back toward the warmth of the church. I left him out in the cold hopefully feeling the sharpness of my stiletto.

I wasn't exactly in the mood to talk to anyone but almost immediately my sister's voice was calling my name. I turned and saw her still with Graham. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and she was smiling like she didn't know how to stop. Her smile was infectious which was a good thing because I was a little lacking in the happy-face department at the moment. "Hey, Amber! What's up?"

"Hi. I just talked to Jared and he asked if I'd seen you. He said that you were looking for me."

I tugged at one of my brown curls. "Right. I just wanted to check on you and make sure that you were having fun. You've been a little elusive tonight."

Her already flushed face turned even redder. "I think that this is the most fun I've ever had at one of these parties."

"It looks like it," I laughed giving her a wink. "And Graham, you've been taking care of my sister?"

"You bet," he replied with a big smile of his own. "And I gotta agree that it's been the best party so far."

"Well I'm glad. Stay out of trouble, you two. Graham, if I don't see you again, it was really nice to meet you. Enjoy the rest of your night."

Amber squeezed Graham's hand and leaned close to me before I could walk away. "Thank you so much for everything, Baylee. I just wish that you were having fun, too."

I blinked at her. "I am."

She arched one brow skeptically. "Really? I heard you ran into Chelsea and something tells me you ran off again. Whether you want to admit it or not, you're still a horse trainer; you like spending more time with them than people."

I scoffed at her. "Whatever, Amber. You just go have fun with your new boyfriend and I'll go find Jared and make him dance with me some more."

She dropped her gaze and let out an embarrassed little giggle at the boyfriend comment but at least it was enough for her to stop trying to psychoanalyze me.

  8. Second Chances

I was used to parties that went well into the night but I was still glad when the party wrapped itself up shortly after midnight. I mean, it's not like it was bad- there was plenty of mingling and delicious refreshments and someone dressed as Santa passed out presents to all of the younger kids- but my night had gone sour with all the drama that was butting its ugly head. I used to think that models were dramatic but they had nothing on the people of Newcastle that gave me a splitting headache.

See, after I'd ditched Amber with her new boyfriend (whether she wanted to admit they were together or not), I found Jared still at the table I'd left him at but he wasn't alone. He was chatting it up with Chelsea and I felt my anger flare up. I used to actually be friends with that pretty girl but she'd already taken one guy from me and I'd be damned if I let her do it again.

I froze, that vindictive thought stopping me short. No, that was wrong; Christian had never been mine to begin with. I should not, in a million years, be getting so possessive of him. Sure, I was pissed about what had happened between them but that was only because it had meant me losing my best friend and starting the next part of my life all on my own. I'd been hurt and scared, but I really had overacted. Still, that didn't mean that I wanted Chelsea to be flirting with my boyfriend and everyone who knew her knew that Chelsea was a big time flirt.

"Hey. What's going on over here?" I asked with a very fake smile.

"Oh, Baylee. Jared and I were just talking. I think it's so amazing that you work with models and designers and stuff. You're so lucky."

"Yeah, well that's what happens when you follow your goals." She winced visibly and I almost felt bad for being so mean. Almost, but not quite. I shot her a saccharine smile and eased myself into Jared's lap. "So I never did ask you what you've been up to since graduation. Are you still working at your mom's diner downtown?"

Chelsea blushed a little. "Only part time. I was going to school in Cheyenne a couple of years ago but life got in the way and money was tight so I came back home. I've been taking classes working toward my business degree."

"Oh, that's cool." I was trying really hard not to be a bitch but Chelsea had lost all of my respect long ago. I turned back to my boyfriend and kissed him. "Hey, the party's going to be ending soon. Wanna stay 'til the final song or head out early? I just saw Becca and she said that she and Stan are going to get going if we want to hitch a ride."

He glanced over at Chelsea and annoyance flared through my veins. I already wasn't in a good mood so that little act really set me off. "You are more than welcome to stay if you want but I'll bet that my parents end up staying longer to help clean up. I'm pooped so I'm going to go home. But I'm sure that Chelsea wouldn't mind keeping you company."

"Baylee, it's not like that," Chelsea started softly. Her pretty blue eyes were wide and pleading.

"Forget it, Chelsea," I interrupted quickly. "I know that there's nothing going on here. I'm just tired and I'm ready to go home. So are you coming or what, Jared?"

"Yeah, sure," he said. He stood and gathered his stuff then turned back toward Chelsea. "It was very nice to meet you, Chelsea."

"Yeah, you, too. Baylee, I'm glad I got to see you again. I really hope you both have a Merry Christmas."

I didn't do much more than give her a small smile as I wrapped my shawl around my shoulders, took Jared's hand, and ventured out into the cold.

The clock on the dashboard read 12:04 when Becca and Stan dropped us off at my house. I hugged them both and kissed Becca's cheek and promised that we'd all be over to their house later in the day to make it Christmas-ready. She smiled back but I could see how exhausted she was. The night had been pretty annoying for me with all of my personal drama but I knew that it had taken a lot out of her. I shouldn't have been focusing on myself when she'd left the protection of the hospital to come see me. Well that was one way to put things into prospective.

Jared started toward the door as the car drove away but I quickly grabbed his hand to stop him. "Wait. You said earlier that I'm different here and I want you to see why. Come with me into the stables."

He was reluctant but I was stubborn. I tugged his hand and soon we were in the warmth with a couple of battery-operated lanterns turned on and the thick scent of horses in the air. "Okay. Now what?" he demanded.

I ignored him for a second and set out a couple of multi-colored blankets Becca had gotten from Arizona. I motioned for him to sit on one of the blankets and he gave me an annoyed look. I pursed my lips but didn't snap at him like I so wanted. "Just give me a sec. We're gonna talk but I don't want to mess up my dress."

With that said I stepped out of my pink dress and carefully wrapped it in the other blanket. Jared's eyes took on a hard edge and the desire in them was very clear. I cuddled next to him on the blanket in nothing but my black strapless bra and panties. I was glad I could have such a profound effect on him but I was trying to get past the physical in this relationship.

"Okay," I started, "I know you're not big on nature stuff but I am. Or, at least, I used to be. I love horses and whenever I'm upset this is where I run off to. Time away from this place hasn't changed that and I want to share this with you."

I waited for him to say something and had a couple of butterflies. It probably didn't seem like much to most people but I felt like I was laying my heart on the line just by showing him my favorite place in the world. I wasn't really used to opening up to someone but I guess I should have felt something more than impatience as he just sat there staring at the line where satin met flesh on my breasts.

"So you keep disappearing into here whenever you get pissed. So what?"

I took a huge breath and let it out slowly. "Jared, we've been together for a year and it's been so fun. But don't you want more? Don't you think about more than sex?"

"Well sure, Baylee. But what the hell do horses have to do with anything?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's not just about the horses. This week is the first time you've met my family and you barely even talk about yours. I want to know more."

"Seriously, Bay?"

I kept my expression neutral and nodded.

"This is pointless," he muttered under his breath but I could tell from his tone that I had won. "Fine. I grew up in New York, so you're right, I don't do all the nature crap. You call to your parents and even your sister at least once a week. I haven't talked to my folks since I moved to L.A."

"Why not?"

His almost black eyes narrowed. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," I argued. "You know why I stayed away from home for seven years. Let me know why you left."

"Yes, you avoided here because that guy you claim you don't like knocked up Chelsea. I never asked to know that."

I swallowed back a lump. Was it jealousy that made me notice that even after four days he still wouldn't say Christian's name but he had absolutely no problem with Chelsea's? I didn't feel like I had a green-eyed monster at the moment but I did still feel like hopping on Rugrat and going for a ride. "Of course you didn't but you're my boyfriend. We're in a relationship so that means you're gonna know more about me than most people. Whether we like it or not, that's how this dating game works."

"We?" he questioned. 'You're the one that wants to play twenty questions. This isn't exactly my first choice for fun." The long look he gave my nearly naked body was enough to tell me exactly what his first choice would have been.

Okay, now I was starting to get annoyed. "Yes, whether _we_ like it or not. I did not enjoy telling you how Christian and I met. Most people just assume that it was from riding and talking about that day terrifies me so I would have rather kept it a secret. But know you know something more about me and I still want to know more about you."

He groaned. "Let's not play this game, Baylee. We're together and we're perfect for each other. What more is there that we need to know?"

I sighed and chewed on my bottom lip. "It's late. Maybe we should go in and get to bed."

I started to get up but Jared grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down. "Hey, what's the hurry? We haven't been together in days and there's no one else here. I figure since we're already alone..."

I smiled and pecked his lips. "Not tonight, babe. I'm tired and I'm getting really cold."

"I'll warm you up."

"I'm sure you would." I heard a hint of bitterness in my voice but I doubted he noticed. "You're getting your present tomorrow, remember. I'm going to go try and get some sleep. Good night, Jared."

This time he didn't stop me from getting up. I pulled the dress back on and slipped back out into the snow. No one was home yet so it was pretty easy to get to my room without being noticed. My mind was buzzing and I really wasn't in the mood to face anyone. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Jared was always like that. He was shallow and I usually didn't mind it. Had my time in California made me just as shallow, just like the girls I'd spent my life frowning down on? I didn't want to be like the stupid actresses that were in tabloids for drugs and whirlwind romances more than they did their jobs but it looked like I was one idiot move from that person.

I laid awake in bed until my parents and sister got home. I saw lights click off one-by-one then things got quiet but I was still awake. The house made creepy creaking noises long after everyone else was asleep but still I couldn't shut off my restless brain.

This whole trip had me thinking about things that I really didn't want to be thinking about. It was making me take a look at what had become of my life and I suddenly felt like I was on the edge of a cliff with no way back and no easy way down. In other words, I was completely lost.

I didn't know what time I fell asleep but it was too damn early when I was being shaken awake. "Rise and shine, sleepy-head," my mother's voice said gently. My tired eyes peeled open and I could just make out her kind face and happy smile through the blur.

"Hey, Mama. What's up?"

"Bobby just called and said he's heading over to Christian's. Amber and I are going over there to get the Matthews' house perfect for tomorrow."

I groaned and stretched out my body to its fullest extent. My bones creaked and popped but my limbs were well rested. It was just my head that was still worn out. I so did not want to get out of bed but I had a list a mile long of things that I had to get done before the sun started to set. "'Kay. Give me a second to get ready. I'll head over with you and Amber."

I waited until my mom was gone before I rolled out of bed. Life didn't have a pause button so I really needed to get my butt in gear. Unfortunately, my day would definitely involve seeing Jared and Christy and I honestly wasn't in the mood to see either one. "Grow up, Baylee," I growled under my breath. "What do you even have to hide for? It's a clean slate with Christian and you already know that Jared's an idiot. What are you so afraid of? It's all for Becca."

I let out a long breath and rummaged through my suitcase for some clothes. I pulled on a knit top and some black jeans. An elastic belt wrapped around my waist to accentuate it and my boots were warm on my feet. I pulled half my long hair back and secured it with a clip so that the waves tumbled smoothly around my shoulders without getting stuck in my face.

When that was done I made my way down my loft stairs and then to the guest room that Jared was using. The room was simple, a few feet smaller than mine with a twin bed, an oak dresser with a large mirror over it, and an old-fashioned wardrobe. The whole color scheme was earth tones like tans and browns and oranges. It was a nice room but Jared's natural flair stuck out like a neon sign. He didn't notice me at first, busy as he was going through his carry-on bag so I had to opportunity to just stare at him. Damn, he was fine.

"Hey, stranger," I said.

Jared dropped something in the bag and spun around in a flash, making me instantly suspicious. I arched my brow and crossed my arms but I wasn't going to push. "Hi, Baylee. Did you need something?"

I pursed my lips. "I'm going over to the Matthews' house with my mom and sister. We're going to put up a few decorations and I'm going to help Becca cook for tonight's dinner. Do you want to come with us?"

"Decorating again?" he whined. "We spent most of last Christmas at parties or at home in the bedroom. This family crap isn't how I wanted to spend the holiday."

I rolled my brown eyes. Why were all men such big babies? "I get that. But we're here now so you've got two choices. You can either come help or you can stay and watch sports with my dad and probably Stan until we get back. It's up to you."

The sound he made in the back of his throat was almost like a growl. I'll admit that it probably would have been sexy if I wasn't so annoyed with him. I waited for a few moments while he debated with himself whether or not to go with me. "Fine." The single word was clipped and forced but it was still acquiescence.

"Good. Then get ready 'cause they're leaving soon. I would say that we could ride over on a couple of horses but I know that you wouldn't do that."

"I'm coming." pulled something out He pulled something out of his bag and shoved it in his pocket before I could see what it was. Jared was hiding something and I was definitely going to get to the bottom of it.

The ride over to Christian's was a quick one. Bobby's truck was already there and the door opened when we pulled up. Becca stood in the doorway beaming at us. She had on some plain jeans and a red Christmas sweater with a green tree that had little lights. Her dark hair was tied back and she had a headband with reindeer antlers to hold back her bangs. "Oh, finally. I've been waiting for you. Bobby and Christian were just going through some boxes and Stan is out in the barn. Come in. Come in. Let's put on some music and get started."

We followed her into the living room where the boys were stringing up some Christmas lights and Becca popped a holiday CD in the old boom box she had. I smiled and pulled Jared with me to start hanging up Christmas bulbs on the fresh pine tree. I was having fun and it didn't seem like my boyfriend was complaining quite so much although every so often I saw his hand flutter to his pocket and whatever he was hiding.

I helped with the tree a little and then added my pink tie-dye stocking to the mantle over the fireplace. I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of my mouth as I compared Becca's fireplace to mine in L.A. See, the one back home was an electric one set into the white wall and had some French painting hanging over it. Becca's was very rustic with a wooden mantle covered in framed pictures and with knee-high socks nailed into it acting as our Christmas stockings. She was braver than I was in that aspect because I never would have had the courage to use literal stockings as decorations in my classy apartment.

"Okay, Baylee. Do you want to come help me with the _tamales_? We'll let the others finish with the tree if nobody minds."

"Sure," I said brightly.

Jared shot me a look but kept working as I pecked his lips and followed Becca into her huge kitchen. She had two large bowls set on the counter and some wooden spoons to spread the filling on the corn husks. She and I worked together filling the _tamales_ and rolling them up. Becca's nimble fingers worked much more quickly than mine and it seemed impossible that this woman had had to spend time in a hospital for heart problems.

"You and your _novio_ seem to be doing better. Did you talk to him after the party?"

I didn't look up from my task so she couldn't see the slight frown on my pink lips. "Yeah, we talked. I'm trying to get past the shallowness in our relationship so I told him some of the things I'd been keeping bottled up."

"Well that's very good."

"Yeah. I'm trying to use this trip to move on from the past and start over."

I peeked up at her through my lashes and saw her smiling. "A second chance is a great thing for everyone. New beginnings help us heal."

"That's the idea." I hesitated for just a second before I continued. "It's hard, though. Chelsea and I were never close but we were friends. I just don't know if I can let go and trust her again. That's stupid though because Christy and I were never together, isn't it."

"You love him, Baylee, and you can't stand the fact that she's the reason you had to leave him behind."

I couldn't say anything for a long time because I was afraid my voice would crack. "I'm being silly. Christian and I are just friends. That's the way it's always been and that's the way it's always going to be. I do wish that he could have gone to Los Angeles with me but things worked out fine for both of us."

We worked together a little longer just listening to the music drifting in from the other room. I was wrapped up in my own head thinking about my feelings toward Jared and even Christian until Becca made a little gasping noise. My eyes snapped up to her and I saw her eyes shut, her face twisted in pain and she was clutching her chest. "Becca? Are you alright?"

"Of course, Buggy. I just thing I'm a little tired. Will you be fine by yourself if I go lay down for a few minutes."

"Yeah, no problem. You go."

She moved slowly down the hall and I frowned. Becca wasn't supposed to be sick. Becca was strong, the strongest person I'd ever met.

"Hey, is there anything to drink around here?" Jared's voice asked, making me jump.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Let's see. There's water, coffee, tea, or milk."

"Doesn't matter," he replied without looking up from his phone.

I rolled my eyes and poured him a glass of Becca's cinnamon tea. He set his cell on the counter when I handed him the cup but didn't really say much to me. "So. How's it going?" I asked after some awkward silence.

"Fine. What are you doing in here?"

"I'm just finishing up the _tamales_ for tonight. Becca went to lie down so you can help me if you want."

"I don't cook."

_Or do dishes, or laundry,_ I added silently. "Well I'm almost done then we can do something together. 'Kay."

"Sure," he muttered. He turned to leave and I noticed his phone was forgotten on the counter. I could have called after him to get it but Jared needed to spend time with people and not in cyberspace. Hmm. Maybe that was our problem. Maybe technology was invading too much like it had done to pretty much everyone in this generation.

Jared's phone started buzzing and I instinctively went to check it, assuming it was for his job. A new text message flared up on the screen when I tapped it. The letters were a jumble of nonsense and it took me a few minutes to make sense what I was seeing.

sorry ur bored. id offer to go hang w/ u but they all pretty much hate me

Chelsea's name flashed brightly at the top of the screen. I couldn't help my curiosity at that point. I scrolled up and went through the messages and I felt my heart ache a little more with each one. There were 176 messages between the two of them and they went back pretty much from the moment I'd left him in the stables. Chelsea was a flirt and it looked like Jared had absolutely no problem playing her game.

I stared blankly at the screen. I don't know if I was more hurt or pissed and my expression must have been one of pure shock when Christian walked in.

"Hey. What's wrong?"

I swallowed back a lump in my throat. "I, uh... It's- it's nothing."

"You're lying, Baylee-Bug. C'mon, spill."

I blew out a breath and silently handed over Jared's cell. He scanned through the phone for a few seconds and I saw his face darken. "Would he actually get with her?" he finally said.

I shrugged. "I don't think he's the type to cheat. But I didn't think he'd flirt with another girl over text messages, either. He's not really the romance type but some of those messages are pretty heartfelt. What is it about Chelsea that makes guys flock to her and why don't I have it?" I hated the way my voice quivered.

Christian's strong arms wrapped around my shoulders and I buried my face in his chest. "There's absolutely nothing that she has that you don't. As much as guys hate to admit it, we're idiots."

I let out a watery laugh. "I've been trying to tell you that for years."

Christian grinned. "Yeah, but I don't listen to you. So what are you going to do now? Want me to kill him?"

I let out a sigh. "I'm not sure but no, you don't need to kill him. I'll figure it out. Thanks, Christian."

  9. Confrontation

We were going to be having dinner at my parents' house because the dining room was bigger and some of my dad's family was going to drop by like they did every year. No matter how upset I was with Jared I still felt a little sorry for him he would be stuck with even more of my relatives. My mom and Amber helped put food into bowls and containers to take over to our place and then we loaded up Mom's Explorer. When we got to the house I made the boys help us carry everything from the car.

"Why do we need this much?" Jared grunted holding a large, hot pot out in front of him.

I hesitated, debating whether or not to tell him that we would have more company. "My dad's sister and her family are coming for dinner tonight."

He almost dropped the pot but was able to set it on the table just in time. Jared grabbed my wrist and pulled me back out into the snow. "More family? Baylee, this is getting ridiculous. I've had to put up with this entire town for you and you haven't even touched me since we got here. How much more am I going to have to take?"

"Then maybe you should just call Chelsea," I snapped before I could help myself.

"What was that? Did you go through my phone?"

My first instinct was to get defensive so I did. "Why were you texting Chelsea?" I challenged. "I'm your girlfriend, Jared, and I'm always in your phone so I don't know how you expected to hide the fact you're talking to her. Is that what you were hiding this morning? You didn't want me to know that you were trying to hook up with her behind my back?"

"I wasn't trying to hook up with her," he practically screamed at me. "But can you really blame me for talking to a girl that is actually paying attention to me?"

I huffed and started off toward the stables. I knew that I didn't have time to go out for a ride but I needed to cool down a bit before I did something that I might regret. I was a little surprised when Jared followed me and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. "So you're running again? Dammit, Baylee, I came for you and you've been bitchy the whole time."

I stopped dead and spun around on my heel. Before I even knew what I was doing my hand lashed out and smacked against his cheek with a crack that echoed in the stillness of the stables. "Screw you," I snarled. "I've been trying to make this work but you just keep pissing me off. I know that I'm quick tempered so I go where I can cool down and not smack you every time I get angry. You're the one acting like a spoiled little dick. So what if there aren't fancy parties and celebrities whose asses you can kiss? Newcastle is my home and you need to stop thinking that you're the priority if my life because you're really not."

"You're the one throwing temper tantrums like a two year old. I'm not going to deal with this. Call me when you grow up."

My hand curled into a fist with my manicured nails biting into my palms but Jared turned before I could punch him square in the nose. He whipped out his phone from his pocket and punched in a number and I knew who it would be.

"Wait," I called quietly. Jared turned but he was still livid. I took a deep breath and kept my voice steady. "It took you three weeks to ask for my number and then another four days before you actually used it. You barely met Chelsea last night and already you're texting her more than you text me. And god, Jared, I didn't know that you could be that sweet. Just answer me one question. Do you wish that I was her?"

His face fell and for the first time since I met him Jared was speechless. A little sob bubbled through my lips but I choked back any tears. "Your silence is answer enough. I get it. We work well together but we shouldn't be a couple. Maybe... Maybe you should just go back to Los Angeles. I'll be there in a couple of days and we can sort out what belongs to whom."

"Hold it. Are you breaking up with me?"

"Do you want to stay with me? This girl that you met this week is the real me and I can't go back to who I was before. If you truly love me then we can work this out. If not, you need to leave."

"Baylee..." Jared's voice as so heartbreakingly gently that for a moment I thought that might actually stay. He crossed the distance and kissed my forehead, brushing back the hair from my face. "I'll get my stuff and be out of the apartment by the time you get home. Let's not make it any more awkward than it has to be."

Jared turned and walked back in the direction of the house leaving me alone in the stables. I pressed my hand to my lips in a feeble attempt to hold back the sobs that wracked my body but they came anyway. Tears made it hard to see and my shoulders shook. I slid down to the hay-covered floor and just let myself cry.

I was still curled up on myself when Christian found me in Rugrat's stall. "Shit, Baylee. What the hell happened?"

I hiccupped but didn't think I could speak. My black stallion pushed against my back with his nose and I drew strength from the horse. "Jared and I broke up."

"Who broke up with whom?"

"Does it matter?" I snapped.

"It does in my opinion. I need to know if I should go kick the crap out of him."

I surprised myself by laughing at that. "I broke up with him. It just wasn't working out and I couldn't keep pretending that it was."

He nodded once. "That explains that stupid look on Jared's face when he went to get his junk."

"Huh?" I mumbled.

"Yeah. He went in, told everyone that something came up so he had to head back to California, then packed his crap and left. Bobby offered to take him to the airport but he said he had a ride. I almost punched his lights out when Chelsea drove up but I didn't feel like seeing her so I came to look for you."

I hiccupped again. "He likes her and I can't really blame him. I haven't been a very good girlfriend lately."

"The guy's an idiot," Christian said so seriously that the annoying hiccups stopped. "C'mon. Stop crying and then we can go in before everyone else comes looking for you."

I wiped my nose with my sleeve, as disgusting as that is. "I don't even know why I'm crying. It's not like I really loved him or anything but it just sucks. Now I really am alone." The realization made the tears flow faster and my breath came in short gasps.

"That's not true, Baylee. You're family loves you so much. You're not alone."

I took a huge, shaky breath to steady my nerves. "I know. It's just different when I'm not here. I don't feel like I'm part of this family anymore."

"Then you should come back more often."

I sighed. "I know and I probably will. It's just that before I moved I was one person and then living in L.A. turned me into somebody completely different. Now I don't know who I'm supposed to be."

"Well you're not going to figure it out sitting here and moping. Let's go."

I frowned at Christian as he hauled me to my feet. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see in a minute. Hurry up."

He sounded exactly like he used to when we were little and he was excited about something. I giggled and wiped my hand against my tear-stained cheeks. Christian dragged me around the side of the house to the back porch then dug through the nearby shed for a couple of bows and some arrows. I laughed a little as he handed a bow to me. "Seriously?"

"Why not? You're not going to figure out where you're life's going if you sit around and think too hard. Since we don't have time for you to work out with Rugrat I figured this is the next best thing. You're more yourself when you let everything come naturally. Don't think about anything. Just shoot."

I pursed my lips but realized that if I thought too much about things I would drive myself crazy. I pushed my hair from my eyes and took a deep breath. I aimed at one of the hay barrels in the yard and let my mind go completely blank. My senses drowned out everything except for the bow pulled back by my cheek and my target thirty yards away. I released the string and my ears were met with the satisfying hiss of the arrow. Without wasting time I turned to another, more obscure barrel and shot. I let my body take over without any interference from my head as I hit one target after another.

I lowered the bow and let out a long sigh. My eyes were dry and my back wasn't as knotted and my head wasn't pounding from all the tension. I felt more relaxed than I had in a long time.

"How'd that feel?"

"That was amazing. It's like all the tension and pressure I've been carrying around with me are just gone."

Christy chuckled. "Yeah, that's what happens when you let go and focus on something other than your giant problems."

"I want to go again," I demanded breathlessly. "I want more of a challenge."

"Whoa. Ease up a bit, girl. We've gotta go in to dinner soon."

"I don't care. Give me something harder to shoot at"

He laughed again. "Okay, fine." He stepped up behind me and pointed up into the pine tree. "See that pinecone with the green X on it? Bobby and I set it as a target but no one's hit it yet. Care to try your luck?"

I squinted up into the tree with its dozens of pinecones. "Which one? I don't see an X."

He gripped my shoulders and pulled me gently so my back pressed firmly against his broad chest and pointed up between a small gap in the needles. "See it now?"

"Oh, yeah." I set my arrow and lifted the bow and focused on the center of the X. I released a slow breath and released my arrow. It zipped free and small branches rustled slightly as it zoomed through the tree. Before I knew it, there was a crunch as pieces of my pinecone rained down and my arrow stopped dead center of the pinecone.

"Damn, I'm impressed."

I tilted my head back and grinned but my smile faltered when I realized just how close he actually was. His lips were only a couple of inches from mine and I couldn't stop my eyes from darting down to them. His rough hands were still on my shoulders and I wouldn't have been surprised if he could feel my blood pumping furiously beneath his fingertips.

"Um, what was I saying?" I blinked, trying to get rid of the haze in my mind.

"Nothing. I was complimenting you on your great shot."

I cleared my throat and took a step back. My head was still a little fuzzy but at least my thoughts were becoming more coherent. "Oh. Right. It was fun. Thanks."

"No problem."

I tucked a few loose strands of hair behind my ear and kept my gaze down. "Maybe we should head in to dinner before anyone comes looking for us. Besides, I'm getting kind of cold."

"Yeah, sure." Christian opened the back door for me like a true gentleman. He followed me through the laundry room and into the kitchen where both of our families were busy setting out the holiday feast.

"Oh there you two are," my mom exclaimed happily when she saw us. "I was getting a little worried about you. Aunt Susan and the kids are going to be here soon. Baylee, it's too bad Jared had to leave."

Angry bees started buzzing around in the pit of my stomach. "Yeah. He got an important message and had to rush back to L.A."

"Oh. But you're still staying until the twenty-seventh, right?"

"Of course. Jared's business has no effect on me." At least not anymore.

"Well I'm glad you get to stay although I was surprised that Chelsea was the one taking him to the airport."

I pursed my lips. "Well I didn't want to miss dinner and they hit it off okay last night so we asked if she'd be available to drop him off." Well it was close enough to the truth and I didn't want anyone else to know about my breakup. I really didn't want to hear the 'I told you so'.

"I see," Mom said simply.

I was spared anymore interrogation as the front door creaked open. "Hey family," a voice called over the yelling of two fighting children. "We're here."

I followed everyone into the living room where a woman with light brown hair and hazel eyes was trying to carry a stack of presents while keeping two little girls from killing each other.

"Here, Aunt Susan. Let me help," Bobby said as he took the boxes from her. Without the bulky boxes Susan looked tiny, almost fragile. She had a heart-shaped face and pink mouth. Her nose was slightly pointed and her eyes were almond-shaped. All-in-all she looked like a fairy, especially because I was taller than her now.

"Oh, Baylee," she gushed when she spotted me. "Look at you! You're so grown up. You'd better watch it, Paul, 'cause you've got two smokin' hot girls."

My dad frowned. "Susan, I don't like your assessment of my daughters."

"Why not? It's the truth, big brother. Get over it. Now, Baylee, I want to meet your boyfriend."

I gave her a fake smile. "Oh, I'm sorry but he had to go back to Los Angeles a little while ago. But I'd like to meet your girls. They're so beautiful."

Susan grinned. "Jill, Sierra, stop trying to tackle Bobby and come meet your other cousin."

The two girls looked over at my skeptically. They looked almost exactly like their mother except the older girl had dark blue eyes and her sister had brown eyes. The younger girl hugged her mom's legs and peeked at me from behind them. I crouched down so that I was level with the girls. "Hello. My name's Baylee."

Susan's older daughter stared at me and blinked her blue eyes like I was a puzzle she was trying to solve. "I'm Jill and that's my sister Sierra."

"Oh, wow. I remember when you were born. I haven't seen you since you could fit in doll clothes."

Her intense eyes stayed trained on me. "Are you the one that moved to live with all the movie stars? Christian and my cousins talk about you all the time. You really are pretty like they said."

I blushed and glanced at Christian who looked like he wanted to sink right through the floor. "Well thank you, Jill," I said. "You're very pretty, too."

She smiled and started twisting her hips in that nervous, restless way that kids do sometimes. "Do you like Christian? He likes you."

I heard Christy snort from behind me and I was tempted to throw a pillow at him. "Sure. But if you ask me that question in five minutes then I might say that I don't like him. See, Christian and I have been friends for forever and sometimes I really want to fight with him like you were fighting with your sister."

She cocked her head to the side as if trying to figure out if that was a suitable answer to her question. Before she could interrogate me more I turned to her little sister. "Hello, Sierra. I really like your coat."

She studied me with her big brown eyes. "Thank you. Do you really live with movie stars? I want to meet one."

I laughed. "Well I don't know any movie stars but I do know some models. Maybe one day I'll be able to take you to a real fashion show."

Her eyes got even wider so that they took up most of her face. "Really?"

My aunt laughed. "You shouldn't have done that, Bay. She might only be four but Sierra is a fashionista. She won't stop bugging, you now."

I grinned. "I'm being serious. You're the one that she's going to bother to take to L.A."

"Can we go, Mommy? Please?" the little girl begged suddenly losing any shyness.

Aunt Susan glared at me. "Now see what you did?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry."

I saw my mom shaking her head with a small smile on her lips. "Okay, that's enough chitchat. Let's sit down to dinner before all of the food gets cold."

We went back into the kitchen and sat at the full table. It was covered with all kinds of dishes that my mom had kept warm in the oven during the last hour since we'd gotten home. It was a good thing that our kitchen was so massive because otherwise our table would have been crowded with so many people. My dad led a quick prayer and soon the entire room was buzzing with conversation and dishes clanked as they were passed around.

After dinner everyone went into the living room for games. My sister's iPod was plugged into the portable speakers playing the weirdest mix of Christmas and Country. Miranda Lambert came on immediately after Silent Night and I couldn't help but smile. I'd gotten so used to listening to the same top billboard songs over and over that the strange mix coming through the speakers was a nice refresher.

"Baylee, will you buy me a present from Hollywood?" Jill asked suddenly as she and Sierra were snooping through the presents trying to find any with their names.

"Jill!" Aunt Susan scolded.

I laughed. "Sure, Jill. What kind of present do you want?"

She tilted her head and thought seriously about it for a moment. "I want a famous people star!"

"Me, too," Sierra chimed in.

I frowned in confusion and looked toward Susan for help but she shrugged, just as lost as I was. "I think she means from the Hollywood walk of fame," Christian said laughing at the expression on my face. "Right, girls? You want the stars on the street with the names in them?"

"Right!" my cousins said simultaneously.

"I'll see what I could do," I answered with a bright smile. Those two were so adorable that I was glad I didn't have to deal with Jared while they were here.

I stood up to go to the kitchen at the exact same time that Christy did. His gaze caught and held mine and I could feel my cheeks warming up. Well, crap. I forced my heart to calm down its erratic beating. I'd been single for three hours so I should have been getting so nervous around Christian.

"Mommy, look! Christian and Baylee are under the mistletoe!" Jill yelled for everyone to hear.

I looked up to see that sure enough there was a green plant hanging over us. Someone, probably Bobby wolf-whistled and Amber called, "Now you have to kiss." I seriously wanted to kill my siblings.

"Well, I guess we can't ignore tradition," Christian muttered.

My hands immediately got sweaty and my knees turned to jelly. Christian slowly tilted his head toward me and I sucked in a sharp breath. I could feel his breath on my lips and could smell that sweet scent that was uniquely Christian. He pecked my lips once and pulled back with a small smile. I was only vaguely aware that we still had an audience as I turned quickly and rushed into the kitchen with the sounds of cheering and laughing following me.

Once I got to the kitchen I wet a paper towel with cold water and dabbed it at my flushed face. I hated that one tiny kiss could cause such a reaction in me. I tried to blame it on the fact that I hadn't had sex in a week but not even Jared had flustered me so much and he was trying to. Crap. I couldn't be into Christian. I just wouldn't let myself give in to the feelings he was stirring up inside me and then in a few days I'd be home and things could go back to how they were.

"Are you okay?" Christian asked from the doorway pulling me from my raging thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What's up?"

"I was just coming to check on you. You ran out of there pretty quickly."

"I'm fine." I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince him or myself of that. "It was just a little hot in there and I wanted to get some of your mom's snowball cookies for the girls."

"So that kiss back there-"

"Forget it," I said quickly. "It's just something that people do during Christmas. No big deal."

"It is to me," he argued. "I haven't stopped thinking about you since you got home. I've missed you, Bay."

"I missed you, too. I missed having my best friend and I'm glad we can get back to that."

"Dammit, Baylee. You know what I meant. I hated that you were dating that jerk."

My eyes narrowed into daggers. "Shut up, dumbass. No one else needs to know about that."

"Fine. But can you honestly tell me that you didn't feel something back there?"

I huffed. "I've know you most of my life. You're like family, Christy."

He took three large steps toward me and braced his hands against the counter on either side of my waist so that I couldn't escape. "That's shit. I could tell by that kiss that what we have is more than brotherly love."

I shoved past him. "Stop it, Christian. I just broke up with Jared this afternoon and I don't need you trying to mess with my head."

"See. I knew it. I'm making you feel things."

"So what?" I snapped. "I'm leaving soon and you've made it quite clear that you'd never leave Wyoming. Besides, we had our chance and you chose to have sex with Chelsea because you were pissed at me."

"You and I weren't even together back then."

"I wanted us to be," I whispered. "I thought I loved you and I thought you felt the same. I was hoping that moving to Los Angeles would give us a chance to try to be together but obviously I had it wrong."

"Baylee-"

"Don't. It's been a long day and I just want to enjoy the rest of it with my family."

I grabbed a tin of Becca's snowball cookies off the counter and took it back into the living room where the others had started up on a game of Scattergories.

  10. Christmas

I spent the rest of Christmas Eve avoiding Christian. I hated that I was such a coward but my head and my heart were seriously screwing with me. I spent most of the night entertaining Susan's girls until ten when my Uncle Doug arrived dressed as Santa Claus. Little Sierra freaked out when he called her name to sit on his lap and get a present and I was almost tempted to tell her that it was just her dad. Instead she dragged me with her and made me sit on his lap while I held her in mine.

"Looks like I've got double duty here," he chuckled. "Let's see. Here's Sierra's gift. And here's something for Baylee."

He handed me a wrapped square and there was a flash as someone snapped a picture. I glanced up and pursed my lips at my mother. "Okay," I said as I rose with the four-year-old still in my arms, "now I'm really glad that you guys don't have internet." The last thing I wanted was a picture of me on Santa's lap to go up on Facebook.

Sierra sat on my lap as she opened her present which turned out to be a Barbie doll to go with the one that Jill got. When the two went to play I opened my own present. A stack of Country CDs spilled from the wrapping paper and I couldn't help the little laugh that came out. "Um, this is a bit random."

"Well it's better than whatever music you've been playing from your computer all week," Amber teased sticking her tongue out at me and I knew they'd been her idea.

"You know I don't even have a CD player, right? All my music is from iTunes."

"So play it in your DVD player or computer," my sister shot back.

"Fine. Thanks for the CDs."

It was after midnight when everyone left and close to one before my parents and sister headed off to bed. I couldn't sleep so I spent a little bit of time wondering the house trying to keep busy. I threw away wrapping paper in the living room and then paused by the fireplace where Jared's stocking was still hanging next to mine. "Well, I guess there's no need for this one," I sighed to myself. I took it down and tossed it in the trash with the brightly colored wrapping paper.

When I couldn't find anything else to do I went up to my loft and collapsed on my bed but my busy brain refused to shut down. It replayed that kiss with Christian over and over again until my thoughts were consumed by nothing but the feel of his lips against mine. I knew that I shouldn't have been thinking about him at all but I couldn't help it.

"Just two days, Baylee. Two days then things can go back to normal and you don't have to worry about Christy," I told myself but I hadn't been expecting the painful jolt in my chest at the thought of going back to a life without him in it.

It was still early when I woke up but I guess my body was hardwired to wake up early on Christmas. The house was still silent and when the clock said it was barely seven I knew that it would be a little bit longer before people started waking up. I went down to the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of cereal before I went back to Amber's room right across from the base of my stairs. I sat on her bed and started eating my breakfast and it wasn't long before I heard her groan.

"What the hell are you doing?" she mumbled, her voice still thick with sleep. "Can't you be a little quieter?"

"I'm sorry. Does this bother you?"

"Yes. You're dang crunching woke me up. What is that you're eating anyway?"

"It's Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And payback's a bitch, little sister. Just be glad that I'm not jumping on your bed."

She yawned and shoved her head under her pillow. I carefully set my bowl down on the dresser by her door then grabbed the pillow and started whacking her in the head with it. "Hey!" she protested while she tried to cover her face with her arms. "Baylee, that's not fair. It's too early. Mom!"

"Oh stop being such a baby," I chided. "You woke me up more times than I can count. If you don't want to get beat up with a pillow then fight back."

"Fine!" She plucked her spare pillow from the space between the bed and wall and nailed me right in the stomach. Ouch, that thing was heavy. I hit her again but she'd grown up over the last few years and it wasn't as easy to kick her ass in a pillow fight as it used to be.

"Girls! What's going on here?" Mom asked as she barged in he room.

Amber and I looked at each other and started giggling. "Sorry, Mom, it was my fault. I was trying to wake her up."

My mom shook her head and her blue eyes rolled backwards. "Seriously, Baylee? You're twenty-five, not five."

"So?" Amber laughed. "It's Christmas."

I snorted. "Yeah. It's the one time of the year that everyone can act like a little kid."

Even Mom laughed at that. "Oh you girls. Fine, kill each other with pillows. I'm going to call the boys and Stan and Becca. Meet me in the kitchen so we can start breakfast and then we'll do presents when everyone gets here."

When the door closed again I grinned at my sister and we started back up on our pillow fight at the same time.

Twenty minutes later we were in the kitchen helping my mom prepare a full out gourmet meal of pancakes, waffles, toast, eggs, bacon, orange juice and coffee. Becca was going to be bringing _chorizo_ and tortillas so I really wasn't sure why we were making so much food but I didn't complain. For once I wasn't worried about trying to eat healthy.

I was totally prepared for this Christmas to go like any of the ones before it. We were just going to hang out and I wasn't going to have any guy troubles to mess with my head. At least, that was the plan until Christian walked in the door. He had his brown Stetson hat perched on his head like always, he wore a plaid shirt and blue jeans that hugged his butt and of course he had his boots. Christian looked every bit a cowboy and he was damn hot. My heart stuttered in my chest and I could barely take my eyes away from him.

"Merry Christmas!" Becca sang as she waltzed through the door. She pulled everyone in for giant hugs and kissed cheeks until they were red from her lipstick. "Oh, it's so great to be home and get to celebrate with everyone."

I pulled her into a hug after she'd finished with my parents and Amber. "Becca, I love you. I'm glad that we're both here."

"Me, too."

"Merry Christmas, Baylee," Stan said as took his wife's place hugging me while she went to direct Christian on where to put the pots she'd brought. "It's good to have you home for the holiday. You know that your being here has helped Becca immensely."

"I don't feel like I'm helping."

He smiled, his eyes getting crow's feet around them. "Trust me, Bay, you are. She was on the verge of depression before you got home and I was really starting to worry about her. You're more important to my family than I think you realize."

I shot him a sad smile and glanced in the direction of the kitchen where I could hear Christy talking to his mother. I wanted to be important to him, God knows I did, but that simple thought scared me. I'd never felt this way about another guy and the last time I was seriously into Christian it broke my heart. He and I were best friends, almost family, so it would just be easier for both of us if we let things go on like they always had. No feelings, no relationship, and definitely no more kissing. That was the revised plan and I'd be damned if I didn't stick to it.

"Breakfast is ready," Mom called when Bobby finally showed up. "Come and eat."

After the delicious meal it was present time which had always been my favorite for obvious reasons. But instead of being excited to get stuff like a spoiled brat, I was excited to give out all the presents I'd bought. Okay, so maybe I wanted to show off how successful I was and how much money I had but the gifts actually were really heartfelt. Everyone loved their gifts and my sister couldn't stop squealing over the Coach purse I'd picked up for her on Rodeo Drive.

"Okay, last present," my dad announced after a couple of hours when most of the carefully wrapped paper lay scattered in balls around the room. " _To Baylee. From Christy._ Here ya go, honey."

"Oh Christian, you didn't have to buy me anything."

"I didn't. Just open it."

I did. I peeled the bright paper back and found one of those white boxes department stores use to gift wrap clothes. When I pulled the lid off there definitely weren't any department store clothes. Inside was a thick photo album covered in fabric with little horses over it. The cover picture was of me, my siblings, and Christian from when we were little taken at one of the many horse races we'd been to. I set the album in my lap and started flipping through the pages carefully. The pictures chronicled my life from when I was seven all the way until I left to California and it was almost shocking to see how big a part Christian was. I mean, of course I knew that he was important in my life but it was weird having solid evidence that he and I belonged together.

Wait, what?

I wrapped one arm around his neck and pulled him into a hug. "Thanks, Christian. This is really great."

"Yeah, well, it's not Rascall Flatts tickets but I figured that you might need a reminder of where you come from just in case it takes you another seven years before you come home."

I rolled my eyes at him. "It won't."

His green eyes were darker than normal and locked right on me. "I hope not," he murmured so quietly that only I could hear him. I peeked up at him through my eyelashes and saw that he was much closer than I thought. Close enough that if I craned my neck we'd be kissing.

I pulled away hastily and held the photo album to my chest like a shield. "Um, thanks, Christian. It really is an amazing gift."

I put the new album in one of the other Christmas bags with the rest of my gifts then straightened up. Bobby and Amber had started a paper war and were trying to pelt each other with the wrapping paper balls while my parents were talking to the Matthews about what they had planned for the rest of the day. I grabbed a carrot from the refrigerator then put on my winter coat and shoved my feet into my boots. The cool air was nice and crisp as I made my way out the side door toward the stables. I went directly to Rugrat's stall and sat on the fence. He clopped up to me and I ran my hand along his velvety nose.

"Hey, buddy. Merry Christmas. Look, I got you a present." I held out the carrot in front of my and he started chomping away. "Like it? I thought you might."

I sat in silence for a little while but the quiet gave me too much room to think about Christian and the fact that I was single. Christian was my best friend but ever since yesterday things were getting intense between us. It was like a switch was flipped when I broke up with Jared and now both of our feelings had increased big time.

"Are all boys this confusing?" I finally muttered to my horse so my head wasn't buzzing like wasps had invaded. It helped to think out loud. "I mean, I know that we never dated but I thought he had feelings for me. Are guys really fickle enough to like one girl but go off and screw someone else because they're mad?"

Rugrat blew out a breath which I took for a yes.

"That's what I thought. They're stupid. And I guess I am too because I think I love him." My eyes started to water as I admitted that. "Shit. I don't think I ever stopped loving him. That's pretty pathetic though, isn't it? I tried to forget about it but I can't. What do you think I should do, Rugrat? I'm in love with Christian Matthews and I don't know what to do about it."

The big black horse tossed his mane and tugged at the carrot in my hand. Obviously he wasn't going to be any help.

"You know Rugrat can't talk back to you, right Baylee?"

The absolute last thing I was expecting was for Christy to sneak up on me so hearing his voice scared me half to death. I squealed and toppled off of the wooden railing.

And right into Christian's arms.

My brown eyes locked on his and I sucked in a sharp breath. I could feel my face catching fire but I couldn't make myself pull away. "Th-thanks for catching me," I stuttered.

"Of course, Baylee. I'd never let you fall."

A million butterflies attacked my stomach and I felt like a complete idiot. I hadn't felt this nervous since prom night Senior year. A dance, I might add, I went to with Christian. It wasn't fair that after all this time he still had this power over me. I gulped but blurted, "How much did you hear?"

The telltale blush that colored his cheeks was answer enough. "I walked in about the same time that you were calling yourself pathetic," he admitted before he dropped his voice to a husky whisper. "If it's any consolation, I don't think you're pathetic at all."

I swallowed the nervous lump that formed in my throat. "Put me down, Christian. I need room to think." He set me on my feet but kept his arm around my waist until my knees stopped threatening to give out on me. "You and me would not work. We've been friends for much too long and I don't want to risk that. We just have to chill out for the next few days. Okay? Nothing's going to happen between us."

"Mistletoe," he replied.

I'm sure my face was one big question mark. "What the hell are you talking about?"

He jerked his chin up to one of the low-hanging rafters directly above us. "Mistletoe." Sure enough, that stupid plant was right above our heads, mocking me.

"So? I'm trying to talk to you and that's what you were thinking about?"

"I heard you, Bay. Loud and clear. But it is a tradition," he said with a smirk. I arched a brow at him until his expression turned serious. "You don't think that this thing between us is worth pursuing because you're thinking too much. Let your mind stop working and let your heart decide. Just one kiss. That's all I ask. Give me one kiss right here, right now, without an audience so that neither of us have to put on an act or anything. Just one kiss and then you can decide."

"It wouldn't matter. I'm leaving soon and long distance relationships never work out."

"It will for us," he promised, "because I love you, Baylee. I've probably been in love with you since I pulled you from the ice. I was an idiot in high school for letting you go but I'll be damned if I don't fight for you this time. I want us to be together for the rest of our lives. We can figure out all the logistics later but I need to know that I still have a chance with you."

I couldn't breathe. He was saying everything that I wanted to hear but I didn't know if it'd be enough. I needed to find out just as much as he did. I nodded slowly. "One kiss," I agreed.

He leaned in so close that I could feel his warm breath on my lips and it sent tingles all through my body. His full lips pressed firmly to mine and I tilted my head so that there was no space between our mouths. His tongue darted out and my lips easily parted to deepen the kiss. His arms went around my waist and mine wrapped around his neck and I pulled his Stetson off so that I could run my fingers through his thick blond hair. The kiss was soft and sensual and had my heart racing faster than even Rugrat could run.

"Holy crap," I sighed when he pulled away.

"So what do you say? Give us a shot?"

"I-I-" My head and heart were at war with each other. The sensible side of me knew that I was leaving and he couldn't follow me but the part of me that was still reeling from that incredible kiss was yelling at me to go for it. "I can't just leave L.A."

"I'm not asking you to. I'll wait as long as it takes for us to be together as long as I know that you're waiting for me."

"How would we ever really be together? I won't leave California and you won't leave Newcastle-"

"I would for you. Just let me make sure my Mom's going to be okay and I'll follow you wherever you go."

I gasped. Okay, I was not expecting that. Here was this amazingly sexy cowboy who loved Wyoming and he was willing to give it all up for a life in the city with me. I felt myself nodding without any interference from my brain. "I love you," I whispered so softly that I could barely hear myself.

But Christian sure as hell did. He scooped me up and spun me around before pressing me against the stall and kissing me with a fierce passion I'd never known before.

  11. Forever and Always

I left two days after Christian and I were officially a couple. Nobody was really surprised that we were together but I was too happy to be annoyed. I wasn't really sure how we would work it all out but I wasn't wasting my time by worrying about things I couldn't control.

Christian drove me to the airport and walked me to the security checkpoint. When we had to part ways I kissed him like there was no tomorrow. He smiled down at me but I could tell that he didn't want me to go. Hell, I didn't even want to go but I had work to do before the New Year's fashion show.

"Call me when you land. I love you, Buggy."

I smiled; he'd said the L-word more times in two days than I think Jared and I said it throughout our whole relationship. "I will. Love you, too, Christy."

I spent the flight flipping through the pages of my new photo album and by the time I arrived at LAX I felt like I could take on anything. I had my family back and I was finally dating the only guy that I'd ever truly been in love with. My apartment was going to feel so empty after being surrounded by the people I loved all week.

Crap, speaking of which...

I took a cab home and started getting a little nervous when I pushed the elevator button up to the penthouse. I wasn't sure if Jared really was gone or if he'd left stuff or if he wasn't going to actually leave. My name was on the lease so if he was a problem I could get the landlord involved but I really didn't want to have a confrontation with him.

I turned the key and walked in and my place really did seem empty. A couple of the chairs were gone and the glass end table was nowhere to be seen. The blender in the kitchen was missing and so was half the wine. The biggest change was in the bedroom. All of Jared's clothes were gone giving me tons of closet space and he'd taken his black bed set. There were no pictures of us or any of the expensive paintings he'd bought. It was weird to be alone but I didn't mind much. We'd never loved each other and it hadn't been a bad break up so I didn't think things would be too awkward if our jobs took us down similar routes.

Of course, that theory was tested on New Year's Day. My set had been built perfectly while I was gone and now I had to deal with models and designers. I was running around like a crazy person trying to make sure that everything was in order and that everyone knew what they were doing. I barked orders through my head set and the lighting and music people and tried to ease the designers' worries while they tried to get their models ready. I went out onto the stage to make sure that chairs were placed properly when I ran into Jared.

"Uh, hi," he said. He looked good, as always. His hair was messy and sexy and he had a blue button up with the sleeves rolled up and black pants. His camera was hanging around his neck and I remembered why I'd fallen for him.

"Hey. How's it going?" My heart was beating nervously and I felt a little awkward talking to him. We'd been together for over a year but now we felt more like strangers than ever. I didn't want him to hate me for everything that had happened.

"Just fine. Listen, Baylee, I think you should know that I've been keeping in touch with Chelsea since I got back."

I nodded once. "Good for you. I'm dating Christian," I admitted.

Jared let out a breath but didn't seem pissed or anything. "I thought that would happen. You two definitely had some chemistry even if neither of us wanted to acknowledge it. I'm happy for you, Baylee. Really. I hope everything works out for you two."

"Thanks. Same to you. Well, I should probably be going."

He waved and went back to adjusting his lenses for the camera while I went to check on the control panel. Things were different in my life now but I was sure that they would work out. I wasn't just the rancher from Wyoming or the fashionista from California. I was both and I was finally starting to find the balance between my two personalities and that gave me hope for my future.

I didn't feel like going to any after parties when the show was over. I went home and collapsed on the couch and flipped on the TV before I pulled out my phone. It was super late but I really needed to talk to someone.

"Hey, beautiful," Christian answered after five rings and I could hear the sleepiness in his voice.

"Hi. Sorry. Did I wake you?"

"It's fine. What's up?"

"I was just thinking about you. I saw Jared today and I told him about us. Talking to him made me realize how much I miss you."

"I miss you, too. When are you coming back?"

"Dunno. When are you going to come visit me?"

"I'm working on it. Listen, my mom's going back to the hospital in Cheyenne tomorrow but she's been doing so much better since you came. I think she's starting to get better and I might get to go out to California sooner than I thought."

The idea of him living with me in Los Angeles sent excited shivers racing up my spine. "That'd me awesome. What would you do when you got here?"

"I'm not sure yet. Any ideas?"

"Horses," I answered promptly. "I've been looking into it and there's a horse farm for sale out in West Covina. What if we buy it?"

"Seriously?" I could hear the shock in his voice and he was now wide awake.

"Why not? That was always the general idea. I can still do my fashion thing and we can run a thoroughbred ranch. Are you in?"

"I love you, Baylee. You know that, don't you?"

I grinned. "Of course you do. I'm just lovable like that. But I love you, too."

I heard him yawn from his end of the phone. "Then let's do it. I'll call you when I'm not half asleep and hopefully this entire conversation won't end up just being some dream. But in case it's not, I want you to know that I'll love you forever and always."

"Forever and always," I repeated.

Damn, I was such a sucker for that sappy cowboy and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

