I think one of the things about The
Simpsons is it really is about the
anxiety and consternation of living with
people who drive you out of your mind
because it's animation and because it's
it's a comedy we do a lot of
foreshortening a lot of slight
exaggeration I call it rubberband
reality that is it's it's real and then
we stretch it out for a moment and then
it snaps back to reality but it is about
the things that drive you crazy I mean
how do you live with people you love and
you want to kill and in the midst of all
that it's a celebration of that idea
that is at the end of the day it's not a
you know a Beckett play it's a it's a
cartoon
Jim was working with a producer
named Polly Platt who liked my cartoon
strip life in Hell which was running in
the Los Angeles reader and they called
me up and they and they said they had
we're doing this new comedy variety show
and they wanted to have little animated
cartoons as part of the show and
suggested that I animate my Life in Hell
characters which I thought was a great
idea. I found out that I would give up
ownership of whatever it is that I that
I put up and so I created The Simpsons
in their stead because you know life in
hell with my rabbits and Akbar and Jeff
that's a regular gig and I was doing
just fine with that and I didn't know if
this animation thing was gonna pan out
at all so I made up these other
characters I didn't really care about
relax
what his mind no matter what is matter
never mind
what happened was one of the directors
David Silverman who's brilliant was at a
party and a little too much to drink and
he said to Jim Brooks I think it should
be a series and he was so emphatic and
so enthusiastic about doing another
primetime series you know it never been
one like you said for here is the jim
said well if somebody loves this so much
why don't we give it a shot when the
simpsons was starting up I got the job
there because nobody else wanted it it's
it's the same way I got a wife I was not
the first choice but I was available and
I was
I think it was like the fourth or fifth
guy they had asked and nobody wanted to
work on it because it was a cartoon for
adults on the Fox Network which was a
brand new entity at the time and not one
of our writers is jay kogen and his
father was an esteemed comedy writer it
would written for Carol Burnett and
Johnny Carson and his father was begging
him not to take the Simpsons job it just
it's weird to put yourself in that
mindset but it just seemed not only like
a surf ire loser of a show but actual
career poison so I took the job and I
didn't tell anyone what I was doing and
we just thought this is career suicide
no one's ever gonna see the show we were
so confident no one was gonna watch it
that we said well okay if no one's
watching it let's just write the kind of
show we wanted to see on TV instead of
the kind of show we were seeing on TV
and almost everyone who wrote those
first season episodes had never written
a half-hour script before we literally
just had fun with it it was a really fun
summer job that's now and it's a six
hundredth month I think life try to be
nice to people
yes struggle to resist the urge to punch
them in the face and for what but anyway
it all starts with generally a story
retreat and we call it a retreat but it
was actually just a drive a few blocks
away or a couple miles away to Santa
Monica watching other people having fun
looking at the ocean and working very
hard and everybody has this really
bringing their stories and it would take
sometimes 10 or 15 minutes for them to
say be per beat what their whole story
was the stories that you know generally
that everybody responded to a
particularly like if the showrunner
likes at that point then be chosen to be
the the stories of that season and then
I'd say okay we're gonna do this one now
and the writer who pitched it would come
in and we'd sit all of us would sit
around you know twelve people or
whatever and pick out this story just
over a period of three days
maybe four days depending if it was very
complicated we pitch out every beat as a
group I mean every single moment you
know where the scene is what happens in
the scene jokes and lines are pitched
for the scene very specifically and by
the time we're finished over the three
days the writer goes off with about 20
pages and knows sometimes more than that
of every scene broken down of all these
pitches of jokes and everything and they
go off for a full solid month and write
that started it would be too bad if
someone oh I don't know didn't you Joe
start no it's funny I was petrified at
that meeting we met at a hotel and
there's that there's a gong and and Jim
Brooks was my first time meeting Jim
Brooks and he's there and then it's my
turn and I pitch a story and he he liked
it he's got that distinctive Jim Brooks
laugh and it gets a gong and then he
said what else he got so I pitched
another story and they like that and
then I I it was like you're being in
Vegas feel like you've been your heart
go for it and then and then I said the
monorail episode which just came from
riding I was living alone in an
apartment and I was just driving back
and forth I remember one day seeing a
billboard that just said monorail on it
and I think it was it was a national
transportation like let's raise
awareness of Bill of mono rails as a
possible and then then the idea started
cook in my head
once we got to the second year and the
second year looks exactly like the 30th
year the process has been exactly the
same which is it's a bunch of writers
sitting around a table we have a script
some poor soul has to write the original
script and then we go all right line one
anyone got anything funnier and everyone
sits and pitches jokes if something
makes 60% of us laugh it goes in the
script and then we go line two but that
is the process
we'll just keep sitting there throwing
out notion still something perks us up
and there's no cheating you know you
can't go ahead
it'll catch you sooner or later when you
put in a half-baked joke it's all
democratic I was called like a laughs ah
Chrissy wherefore schwartzwalder a joke
joke goes in because somebody says it
and more than half the people in the
room laugh people make the mistake of
thinking that new fresh is better it's
not it's a matter of taking what was
good to begin with and keep building on
that always go up to the moments that
never worked not the moments that used
to work and don't seem to be working
there's a way to get that back go after
the moments that never work and keep
fixing them don't waste your energy on
stuff that was already hilarious don't
take her other good stuff I can't even
say the word titmouse without giggling
like a schoolgirl we rewrite the script
over a period that the quickest is about
three days more often it's like seven
days five to seven days the script gets
completely rewritten by this group we
then have a script that we then bring in
and have the actors read then you see
what gets laughs and what doesn't you
see if they're on board for the story
and you know extreme cases but not often
you'll go oh this thing doesn't work or
it's too off character we'll have to
adjust the story - then we'll rewrite it
for all that recorded on the following
Monday storyboards are done about a
month later the animatic comes we screen
it with the writers completely rewrite
that that gets re-recorded and sent for
final animation and then when it comes
back we still do color rewrites and you
know change it up until you know the
week before air it's a joke when you
give me that look it's a joke a joke is
like a mystery story where there's a lot
of weird elements you go what is all of
this it's just some weird world and then
the punchline comes and everything makes
sense and it may not be logical sense
but all the pieces come together and the
example I use is duck walks into a
pharmacy and says I'd like some
chapstick and the targa says how will
you pay for that and he says put it on
my bill right okay now I get it that's
why he wanted chapstick
and you know there's so many things or
questions in that joke
first of all the duck doesn't have lips
why does he need chapstick and the
druggist doesn't go why is it duck
talking all he cares about is how is he
going to pay for it and then but once
you hear bill which again it's not
logical it's a pun you go I get it all
right the joke is finished and then a
good joke a working formula of a joke
when it's over nobody goes and then what
happened we want the premises to make us
laugh so very often at one of these
retreats John Swartz Walter one of our
legendary writers would come in and just
go my episode is entitled Bart gets an
elephant and we all go okay we get it
and then he would pitch a funny way I
mean one thing the Simpsons does that a
lot of shows that we invented I think
Sam Simon invented this was the first
act of the show the first 10 minutes has
nothing to do with the rest of the show
you know there's a one episode starts
off
grandpa's very sick he's gonna die
though so they go shopping for a
gravestone and then they realized the
money they're spending on a gravestone
could be used to build a tennis court
and that becomes our tennis episode so
the first 10 minutes is sick grandpa and
suddenly it's an episode about tennis so
everyone had to come in with a funny
first act that would so tangentially and
surprisingly lead to the premise of the
rest of the episode I hope you learned
your lesson Lisa never helped anyone you
know every couple of years they send the
camera crew to film our writers room and
they think let's watch the fireworks and
it's just Jews thinking it's not much
different from the writing of the Talmud
it's just Jews deep in thoughts going
alright what's a funny line and then
finally someone says something it's not
nonstop kibbe thing and that kind of
thing you know don't walk in and expect
hellzapoppin be more funny it just shows
you it's something I've learned recently
which is it's not that hard to write TV
you know there's there's courses
everywhere how to write television bla
bla bla and there's not that much to
know you know I think if you've just
watched a lot of TV when you were a kid
which I did you sort of pick it up you
get up and most of most of writing no
matter whether it's a play or a movie or
children's book all the different things
I've done it's just me
make every blind good you know never get
lazy anywhere along the way you don't
win friends with salad it's probably the
number one question I get for the show
which character do you write for well
they really do think that everyone you
know that you write Bart and you know
how writes Homer and my job was the sea
captain you know that you just were
you'd all sit around the room and that's
how the show was made just angers me
anchors me that people don't know more
about how animated shows are made and
fill their head with how to cure
diseases when I went to the Simpsons I
remembered I prided myself on I'm gonna
write edgy jokes I'm gonna be a joke
machine and when I got there you guys
explained this ethos the Simpson has
which is it's a family they care about
each other it's something that very much
came from Jim Brooks and and maybe Sam
Simon as well but just this idea that
this is a real family and when I first
heard that I thought yeah who cares
about that I'm here too let's let's
really bust through the fourth wall it's
and subsequently I've realized that is
probably the secret to the show's
longevity the question was could you
make cartoon characters that look this
weird in grotesque actually make you
feel some real emotions the family has
to really love each other
we can do as many jokes and dark humor
as you want but if there's a love affair
it's not gonna resonate with people the
first Simpsons episode I worked on was
the first episode that aired a half-hour
Christmas special in 1989 when I first
saw it as a you know final cut it was
funny but there was a warmth to it at
the end of that episode Homer didn't get
a Christmas bonus but he goes to the dog
track and loses all his money but didn't
gets a dog that the owner doesn't want
and brings the dog home and the family's
happy with him because he did and there
was a war
- that that was so wonderful and you
know that we you know have recaptured on
the best moments in the series that I
still get choked up a little thinking
about it story above all there's three
rules story above all don't be afraid of
the quiet moments number two and number
three love your characters that's my
advice for young writers
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