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Okay storytime...
Fathers of reddit.
In honor of Father’s Day, what was your
“don’t tell your mother about this”
moment?
Female coworker of mine was miserable at work
one day.
I asked her what was wrong...she told me it
was her anniversary, and she knew her husband
had forgotten.
She had pre-teen girls at home during summer
vacation....I knew her home phone number (pre-cell
phone era).
I called her home phone and one kid picked
up.
Explained to the kid who I was and that she
needed to call Dad at work and remind him
it was Mom and Dad's anniversary....and don't
tell Mom OR Dad I called.The next day she
was all smiles, gosh he did remember, brought
home flowers and took her to dinner.
Mission Accomplished.
Not a word was ever said about this....Until
6 years later, when she left the company.
She gave me a hug at a farewell luncheon,
and whispered "my kids ratted you out.
Thank you".u
One night I was enjoying a small bit of ice
cream after my four year old daughter went
to bed.
She came downstairs and 'caught' me.
So I offered her a small bite, but since she
was supposed to be in bed, I said "don't tell
mom."
She assured me she wouldn't.
My wife wouldn't have cared anyway but it
was a fun little game to play.After she went
up to bed and I was down on the couch, she
snuck in to the master bedroom where mom was
resting.
She told mom that I had let her have some
ice cream, and she was afraid of "sugar bugs"
so could she please brush her teeth again.My
wife just laughed at me the next day.
Little sheet ratted me out to brush her teeth,
something she doesn't like doing anyway.
My dad and I (around 5 years old) were on
our way home from a car show when we were
getting followed by the cops.
My dad struggled to put on his seatbelt quickly
in hopes he wouldn't get a ticket.
Unfortunately, we got pulled over.
This might have been the first time EVER that
I saw a cop this close up let alone speak
to one.
I was a deer in headlights the whole time.Well,
with a cop on either side of the car, the
officer leaned in and asked my dad why he
was swerving.
That big nick told the cops I was tickling
him.
The cops looked at me straight in the eyes
and asked if this was true.
I was too scared to say anything and just
nodded yes.
The officers smiled and said, "Never to do
that again while your father is driving, ok?"
They left without any further words and my
dad gave me the lecture of 'don't tell your
mom.'Too Long, Didn't read, - Dad and I get
pulled over when he tried to get his seatbelt
on, blamed it on me tickling him instead.
Not a father but a son: We forgot my passport
during vacation and were already at the border
station when we noticed.
My dad then said that we won't turn back but
that he will "figure something out".
Turns out he smuggled me successfully across
3 Border crossings without my passport.
Before we arrived at home, he told me not
to tell my mom about this.
Dad and I used to rent a movie each week for
when mum had dinner with friends.
Usually things like star trek or action films.
One day (I was about 11) he came home with
Blade.
We got about 10 minutes in and he turns to
me and said "don't tell your mother about
this, let's just say I forgot to get it this
week".
Of course I agree.Fast forward 7ish years,
dad blithely drops at the dinner table the
fact that we watched blade when I was about
11.
Silly dad thought there was some kind of statute
of limitations on this...
When my 3 year old wakes up in the middle
of the night, like maybe 3 times a month,
instead of putting her back to sleep okey
her stay up and partake in whatever it is
I am doing no matter what.
Sometimes she falls asleep in minutes and
soMe times she stays up for a couple hours.
I think it’s amazing times , I think it
may even be dream like for her by the way
she speaks and moves.
She has painted with me , heard my books read
aloud, watched lord of the rings and cooked
creme brûlée.
The rule is , it’s my time so if she’s
gonna be with me she does what I’m doing
just like o do for her all day long.
She totally gets it and never makes it about
her.My goodness, thank you everybody for your
comments and your awards.
What a special day to be recognized as a father
I was in middle school, my father gradually
bought computers and monitors for us 4 kids
and himself and the 5 of us would play World
of Warcraft together for many days and always
log off one hour before mom got home.
We’d rush all the chores in that one hour.
That’s when we had teamwork at its finest.
She never knew we all played cause she thought
it was the devil
........
I have always worked in restaurants and get
home late nights.
On Fridays I treat myself to takeout.
Not just any takeout, the bad stuff...
Cheese fries topped with Gyro meat, steak
nachos with guac.
Always a large, always with a big bottle of
beer they sell singly.
When my girls were little they would sneak
down late at night and we would munch bad
food and watch really bad funny movies with
all the swear words in.
When my son was 6 I was playing Grand theft
Auto late at night.
He wakes up and comes to the living room,
tells me he can’t sleep, and asks can he
watch me play.
I say he can but not to tell his mom he agrees
with a big smile.
Maybe after about an hour he is playing and
I’m watching and helping him.
He can’t stop laughing driving into people
and running from the cops.
I was telling him to watch out for the 5-0
and he asks me what that means, so I tell
him it’s the cops, he just shrugs and keeps
playing.
Now fast forward about a week later and we
are all driving in the car.
All I hear is a scream of “Dad watch out
it’s the 5-0!”
And I absolutely start crying from laughing
so hard all while his mother is questioning
where he learned that.
He just says “YouTube.”
She found out later that I let him play GTA,
but I hope the memory of that is as special
to him as it is to me.
When I was in middle school I was the only
one willing to go shopping groceries with
my dad, he didn’t want to go alone and my
mom was at school studying her master’s.
None of my siblings wanted to go with him.
We used to go to Carl’s Jr., have a big
breakfast, and then we went grocery shopping.
Nobody knew, not even my mom, until years
later.
He would also let me buy any cereal I wanted.
That’s actually how I learned how to buy
good fruit and veggies, how to order meat
and fish, etcetera
When my siblings found out they were angry
because “they would’ve gone if a big breakfast
was on the menu”.
My mom just laughed.
Nowadays they sneak to have breakfast together
before going grocery shopping since we’re
all grown up..(: 🎉
In the winter, he would put the toboggan behind
the four wheeler and take us out into the
fields and ride around.
My mom found out after it tipped and my face
got beat up and was bleeding everywhere.
Fun.Edit: A toboggan is a sled in the use
of a item you slide down on in the snow
......
Not a father but I was with my dad and we
thought it was a good idea to start a small
fire, on the porch, the wooden porch.
It was made of mostly paper and we made sure
to scatter the embers and everything but after
we went inside and to bed, the wind must’ve
kicked up because we came outside the next
day and there was a giant hole burned into
the porch.
My dad just told me,”hey don’t tell your
mom, I’ll get it fixed”, he the proceeded
to cover it with a small table.
She found out anyway and we’re pretty lucky
that the house didn’t burn down.
When my wife's at work, i will take my daughter
(4year old) out for breakfast, then we will
go on a small adventure around a shop of her
choice and pretend whatever she wants, last
time we went to a car parts shop and rolled
tires around as we were freeing the rollings
from monster, so far my wife doesn't believe
her when she later on grasses me up. to be
honest its the only thing pre-Covid i miss
doing
Dad was putting new roof shingles on.
I was probably 3 maybe 4.
I asked if I could help.
He said if I could climb the ladder sure.
I was always climbing so that was no issue.
Climbed right on up and started handing him
shingles.
It would have been a "don't tell your mother"
moment had she not come home from grocery
shopping.
After several back and forth of "Where are
you" and "Up here mom" she figured it out
and flipped out.
"WHAT IS HE DOING ON THE ROOF?!"..
Daughter speaking for her father.In high school,
everybody was always busy at work or clubs,
so I was the first one in my household to
get home nearly every single day.
Dad was having money troubles that he didn’t
want to disclose to anyone, so he paid me
$5 a month to take the bank statement letter
from the mailbox and hide it from my stepmom
until he got home.
It was the closest thing I got to an allowance.P.S.
I had no idea what the “money trouble”
was, by the way.
I was always the “don’t ask, don’t tell”
person, so that’s why he trusted me the
most about this.
Not a real "don't tell your mother about this"
moment, but when I was little, my dad had
a workshop in the garage where he'd do wood
work.
I'd come out and talk to him while he worked,
and he'd let me sit on the car that was parked
in the garage.
He framed it as something that was so bad
and edgy and we couldn't tell my mom, and
I was five, so I believed it and felt so cool
without actually doing anything wrong or dangerous.
One for my dad.My dad took me to my first
MLB game (God I miss baseball ;_;)
and told me not to tell my mom.Later found
out it was because the game was a good bit
outside of the travel radius set in the custody
agreement.
They were arguing a lot more than usual at
the time so he knew mom would say no if he
asked about it, but really wanted to take
me to a game.
Told me not to say anything so she couldn't
use it against him while trying to take him
to family court again.Luckily I didn't say
anything and we got to keep sneaking away
to games until the travel radius stopped being
a thing.
Dad still has the tickets too
Not a father but a story about mine.one day
I decided to pull a sick day at school and
came down stairs and saw that my dad was making
a coffee, I asked him what he was doing and
why he wasn’t at work and he said I could
ask you the same question.
We stood in silence for a moment and he said
I won’t tell your mum if you won’t.
We had a good laugh about it and he let me
have the day off
When I was younger my dad and I would always
go to the movies together, it was our thing.
I always looked forward to it.
Also, when I was about 11, we would often
watch family guy or South Park together; certainly
not age appropriate, but nothing to terrible
I don’t think.However one day he took me
to see Team America: World Police when it
came out (made by the guys who did South Park).
I think he realized his mistake during the
puppet six scene, and immediately after said
“don’t tell your mom about this”.
Rest in peace Dad, love and miss you!
I was having a good heart to heart with my
step dad as a teen.
We were chilling in the Shop where he does
most of his odd job work, and by the end of
our conversation he pulls out his bong and
asks "Wanna keep going?
But don't tell your mom she will throw my
ats through a window" Ironically enough the
way they met was at a bar and my step dad
was hitting on her and she said she could
throw him across the bar, he dared her, so
she did.
He told me that was the moment he knew he
would fall in love with her....
I took both kids out at around 13 to show
them how to drive.
Just in big empty parking lots or in the neighborhood
but they loved it and I enjoyed a little secret
with them for a while.
This last Christmas my four year old helped
my wife wrap one of my gifts.
It was late so I was working.The next day,
while my wife was at work, she came running
through from her bedroom first thing and yelled
excitedly "daddy!
Daddy!
I helped wrap your gift it's a surprise it's
a slushie maker!""Honey that's awesome but
you aren't supposed to tell me that""I know,
I know, but it's a slushie maker!""If you
know not to tell me then why did you tell
me?""Because I'm just so excited to make slushies
with you!"I was crying with laughter at this
point and told her that it's an awesome gift
but to keep gifts secret, and I told her we
wouldn't tell mummy so she wouldn't be disappointed
that I knew what it was.
I ended up telling her that evening because
it was just too funny and cute.
dad scratched the car after an idiot turned
and rammed into us.
He told me to just keep it a secret and he
slid me a few singles to keep my mouth shut.but
she found out anyway lol.
Nice try, mom.
My dad, brother, and I went out to these dunes
near where I live with bottle rockets.
We each had an empty milk jug and each took
like 20 bottle rockets for ammo.
Then, we ran around launching bottle rockets
at each other.
I was the youngest, which made me the hardest
to hit, so I won the rocket war.
But yeah, mom never found out
My dad taught me how to play "Throw rocks",
where you toss a handful of rocks in the air
directly above you and run away before they
hit you.
I was playing it one day with my cousin and
got clunked on the head by a big one and bled
all over my face and shirt collar.
I went crying to dad and he paid me a dollar
and a piece of gum to keep quiet about the
throw rocks game and just tell mom my cousin
threw it at me.
My relationship with my cousin has been irreversibly
damaged since then because I lied on him and
he never wanted to talk to me again so we
drifted apart...
While building the outdoor play set for my
five year old, I drilled a screw completely
through a board and into my shoe, barely stopping
just as the screw broke skin.
I swore right in front of him, something along
the lines of “Mother-ducking duck mother
ducker.”
We are sworn to secrecy to this day.
My dad has passed away so I’ll tell this
on his behalf:My sister was maybe 10 or 11.
My dad was very worried and had been waiting
all day for us to come home from school.
When we got home he pulled her aside saying
he needed to have a serious talk with her.
He said to her “I was looking for a pencil,
and found this in your desk” and pulled
out a plastic baggie filled with some dried
plant material.
She said, “oh, catnip?”
He thought it was pot.
We would make little cat toys with catnip
and the bag had ripped so she put it in a
ziplock bag.
He sighed a huge sigh of relief and laughed
and told her he thought she was doing drugas
and asked her not to tell our mom.
He was so embarrassed!
My dad used to hoist my siblings and I to
the ceiling in a garbage can with a come along
and swing us back and fourth.
Fun as hell, but “don’t tell your mother”
My dad cooked us all dinner as a surprise
(he was a wizard in the Kitchen) and my mom
had no idea since everyone shushed.
So...
She ALSO cooked a three course meal in honor
of my dad's and my huge appetite.
All I can say is that I've never eaten more
in my life, the embodiment of Gluttony.
My parents helped me out with rent during
college.
They’d send me a check every month for $800
which was honestly really nice of them.
My mom usually does it but for whatever reason
my dad did it once and spelled my name wrong
on the check.
Like “Alicia” instead of “Alissa”
so it wasn’t just a spelling error but also
changed the sound of my name a bit =| I didn’t
notice until I was at the bank in line at
the teller already and I called my parents.
My dad literally said the words “don’t
tell your mother about this” and didn’t
realize my mom was on the other line 😂 to
this day he says he was just distracted and
in a rush...College was over a decade ago
but my mom still plays the “at least I didn’t
forget what our daughter’s name was” trump
card now and then...
My dad and I were emptying the car of a half
side of beef to the freezer when I noticed
that he was having some issues holding the
packages and there was a thick bandage peeking
out of the cuff of his shirt with some blood
on it.
I asked him what was wrong with his wrist,
to which he replied "A glass shield on an
electric meter shattered at work and slit
my wrist.
I had to get stitches.
Don't tell your mother""MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
DAD HURT HIMSELF!""I said DON'T tell your
mother!"
Granddaughter speaking on grandfather’s
behalf.When my mom was young, her mother would
always bake a bunch of sugar cookies and store
them in the pantry until Christmas.
After she baked them, my mom and her dad would
sneak into the pantry one at a time and eat
the cookies.
After about 2 months, they had finished the
whole batch.
My grandmother went to fetch the cookies on
Christmas only to find crumbs left.
She was pizzed, lol.
Miss you, Opa ❤️
Saying this in honor of my dad as he is very
old and does not reddit, he once cut the end
of my toe off as a baby cutting my sharp baby
nails and my screaming brought in my brother.
Hey joined forces to get me all bandaged up
and told my mother I’d banged it into a
wall or trapped it in a door or something?
My mum found out (and by extension so did
I) when I was 10.A wholesome one: for my mums
50th birthday he bought her a set of vintage
diamond and pearl earrings and a necklace.
I helped him choose them out.
I’m never allowed to tell her just how much
they cost.
I’m not a dad but this is about my father.It
was freshman year and I was 13.
That day I ran a mile for rotc warm up, went
to dance class, had wrestling practice after
school which always includes weight lifting
and running a mile for both warm up and cool
down, then worked 4 hours construction.
Just got home (thought I was alone) went outside
and sparked the joint I was looking forward
to all day.My dad steps outside, sits right
next to me, hands me a beer and asks about
my day.
He never said anything about the smoke.
The end of that conversation ended with “don’t
tell your mother about this”.
my mom: "i have never been with any man other
than your father, nor has he been with any
woman other than me"my dad: "oh yeah when
i was first seeing your mom i had like 4 other
girls i was talking to on the side, don't
tell her tho"
