Oh boy, we’re gonna have a honking good
time with this video!
INTENSE GRIN
Ya know those old-timey car horns?
The ones that go “ah-oooooga”?
(that was an amazing impression, was it not?)
I’ve always wondered why exactly they sound
like that.
I mean, it’s a pretty weird noise, isn’t
it?
There’s a strange sort of… modulation
in the sound that I could never really explain.
So…
I bought one!
And we’re gonna find out!
But first, some background.
And trivia.
Because of course.
That’s like this whole channel’s deal.
Car horns.
Why have them?
Well, cars are dangerous things, and people
are stupidly dangerous nearly all the time.
And as a means to hopefully quell the stupidity,
your car comes with a noisemaking device to
serve as a warning signal to other drivers
and pedestrians.
You can use it to announce your presence in
dangerous or ambiguous situations, or you
can use it to scare loved ones as they approach
your car.
It also serves as a way to project anger.
In fact that’s almost the primary reason
we use the horn these days, isn’t it?
Anyway, because horns need to be loud and
cheap, the automotive world has pretty much
settled on two basic designs for horns.
There’s these guys, and
there’s these guys.
This variety or horn, the disc horn, is essentially
just a robust loudspeaker that’s tuned to
vibrate at a specific frequency.
When 12 volts DC power is applied across its
terminals, the disc moves in and out, just
like the driver cone of a loudspeaker, and
the result is a *honk* ing loud noise.
Now, in the US anyway, your car only needs
to have one of these.
And you can tell if your car is in the “bare
minimum” camp because the sound of the horn
is a single tone.
Like this.
BEEP BEEEEP
BEEP BEEEEEP
If your car’s manufacturer has decided to
splurge on you and give you a second horn,
it will usually be tuned a minor third up
or down from the other.
Like this.
BEEP
beep
BEEP
beep
When sounded together, they produce a minor
chord which is perhaps more noticeable across
a wider variety of situations.
Or at least, that’s the theory.
I think.
In any case it sounds better.
HONK HOOOONK
(and it sounds better)
The other style of horn is this style, which
I will call Gary.
A Gary horn, also known as a trumpet horn,
is largely the same thing as our disc horn
however the diaphragm sits inside this trumpet-shaped
piece.
The horn directs the sound out and projects it
out the hole, and the most noticeable side-effect
of this is that the sound of the horn becomes
less harsh.
Take a listen.
Here’s a single-tone disc horn.
BEEP BEEEEP
Now a Gary horn.
toot tooooot
(it's more polite-sounding)
And now a dual-tone disc.
HONK HOOOONK
(sounded angry)
And now Gary.
TOOT TOOOOT
(it's not mad, just disappointed)
I think we can agree that the Gary horn sounds
a little more pleasant.
At least, I think it does.
Interesting note, if you were simply to alternate
between a high-tone horn and a low-tone horn,
you’d have a pretty good analog for an emergency
vehicle siren in whatever countries use sirens
that sound like that.
I’d pick some out but I’m sure there
would be some nuance or complication I’m unaware of
and that would annoy enough of
you to write comments about it
which would annoy me so I won’t.
So now, what... what is up with these things?
Well, I suppose we should set it up so it makes a noise.
I'm pretty sure they use a fair bit of current so I
better use this car battery
that I just have lying ar-
AHOOOOOOOOOOGA
Holy *honk* this think it loud!
Good lord.
That is… well that is something, isn’t
it?
Now, taking a look at this thing reveals that
there’s a red plastic horn coming down to
some sort of diaphragm.
We can shine a light down there and see that
there’s… well a diaphragm of some sort.
Huh.
Now on the back, this looks an awful lot like
a plain ‘ol motor.
And, I suppose that would make sense, as after
all the way the horn sounds suggests something
gets up to speed and then slows down a bit.
Fun fact!
This sound isn’t just associated with old
timey cars you’d take down to the soda fountain
and get yourself an ice cold sarsaparilla.
Imagine you’re on a boat.
But it’s a special kind of boat.
Suddenly, you hear the sound.
[AHOOGA]
Dive.
Dive!
[AHOOGA]
Dive!
Surprise!
You’re on a submarine!
[ahooging continues in background]
All submarines are legally required to have
one of these to signal that they’re about to dive.
I know this because the movies never lie.
OK, so what makes the diaphragm move?
The diaphragm needs to move in and out to
make a sound--after all that is how sound works.
And it appears to be driven by a motor.
But… how is it moved?
And why does it sound so… distinctive?
Well, through the magic of buying two of them,
I have an already-taken-apart one right here.
This joke is never gonna get old.
[metallic crash and wibble wobble]
And, it’s a lot simpler than at first you
might imagine.
This is, in effect, a mechanical loudspeaker.
The diaphragm is a stamped piece of metal,
and there’s a little metal nub sticking
out on the bottom.
That nub engages with these bumpy teeth things
on the shaft of the motor.
When the motor spins, it forces the diaphragm
to move in and out as the bumps on the shaft
push out on the bump on the diaphragm.
In a sense, the diaphragm just goes for a
bumpy ride and
[AH-OOOOO-GA]
That’s it.
It’s that simple.
Now, I still don’t know why exactly the
sound is as distinctive as it is.
I suspect it has to do with the fact that
the diaphragm is flexing, rather than simply
moving in and out, and this gives it a unique
tonality.
Or something.
Probably.
Kinda like the clicking sound of a bottle
cap.
That click is still there even when the motor
turns slowly, but once it reaches a fast enough
speed, we start to hear the true tone of the
horn.
Then, as the motor slows after you stop honking,
the pitch of the horn’s tone falls, but that clicking noise remains distinctive until it stops.
At least that’s my guess.
Layered sounds can be difficult to decipher,
and I’m not a proctologist.
This device is sometimes referred to as a
Klaxon.
This was originally a trade name and comes
from the Greek “Klazo” meaning “to shriek”.
I think there just wasn’t a Greek work for
“to ahoog”.
The horns didn’t have to be powered by motors,
in fact there could be a hand-crank.
Maybe you’ll have seen that in an old movie
or something.
But I’ll tell you one thing.
This is much, much louder than I thought it
was going to be.
This would certainly be an effective horn
should you put one on your vehicle.
But should you put one on your vehicle?
I mean, I’m not gonna say no, but also I’m
not gonna say yes.
It’s not quite so easy as just slapping
this in where your horn was.
You’d probably ... mmm, definitely damage
the horn circuit.
The best thing to do would be to add another
horn button
and run a new fused circuit through it to the horn.
Trust me, you don’t want this to be your
car’s primary horn.
Not only is it tremendously silly, but if
you should decide to replace your horns with
a relay and run power through it to the horn
so that you have indeed replaced your normal horn with one of these,
which you should definitely
consider not doing,
you’re gonna draw some major attention to yourself when you lock your car.
[brief AHOOG]
And, your car alarm will be entirely useless
as in the event of a break-in, any would-be
do-gooders will simply think your car is diving
below the surface.
But I have better news!
These things are stupid cheap.
This was a whole $10.
That’s it.
This was literally the cheapest horn of the
three I featured in this video.
Now, how well are these horns gonna work in
a year?
Probably not at all!
In fact, this one doesn’t even work all
of the time out of the box!
Granted, it’s taken apart right now but…
you know what I mean.
Are you gonna regret buying it?
Probably!
Will you have a hard time figuring out where
to cram this bulky thing into your car?
No doubt!
But will you enjoy it?
Honestly, if you do, well then you’re my kinda weirdo.
Happy honking!
♫ shriekingly smooth jazz ♫
So, this concludes No Effort November.
I’ll be back for Do Things December, but
it might be a little while.
I’ve been procrastinating on finishing the
CED series so I still have to write…
basically all of that video.
But!
I’ll be writing it soon.
And who knows.
Maybe December will start out with something
just as silly as this video was.
I mean, I don’t *want* it to, but when in
doubt, take the silly option.
It almost always works.
Interesting note!
If you were to simply alternate between a
high tone horn and a low torn hon…
...better use this car battery that I have
lying around…
yeah we need to...
We need to set this up beforehand
[straining] 
I think they use a fair bit of current.
So I better use this car battery that I have
lying ar…
dammit!
So now.
So.
So now, what is up with this thing?
OK, so what makes the diaphragm
*overwhelming
sound of klaxon*
move?
The diaphragm need…
yeah that’s not gonna
work, that’s way too loud.
[sound of metal diaphragm against table]
I pondered calling this "Untitled Klaxon Video"
But then I realized that would be a lame duck move.
Oh crap it's a goose!
Not a duck!
I really fowled up that joke
HONK
