corporate putting the issues with your
mother aside for a second
would you say you're a happy person
happy
what even is happiness but a fleeting
sense of satisfaction a
drug to be chased and taken day after
day
until we die poetic but those sound like
the words of a
hopeless man yeah well have you seen my
quota
no tell me more about that yeah some
asshole in sales ops thought it'd be a
good idea to raise quota just because
you made a
shitty little spreadsheet so how close
to quota are you right now
69 percent. Isn't that your favorite number? I mean yeah it's tight but like
it's not going to get you to prez club
in your honest opinion
are you doing everything you can to be
successful
jesus christ you sound like my manager
what do you want to see my activity
metrics
why don't you just prescribe me some
valium or zannies or some shit well
instead of recklessly prescribing you
some medications that you are
undoubtedly already buying legally from
your co-workers
i have another suggestion yeah what's that?
Well how about you stop being a little bitch
what's up you peace
gobblers it's your boy corporate bro
welcome to unsubscribe episode 4.
today we are talking about psychology
not to be confused with
psychiatry which is what you witnessed
in the previous sketch
psychology and sales go together like
america
and obesity so today we're going to talk
about the psychology of surviving in
sales
you know like mental health blah blah
blah blah all that stuff isn't even real
no one knows
but also the psychology of persuasion
i'm going gonna teach you a few things
that's right folks you gonna learn today
all right so let's just dive it
hold up your boy's got some voicemails
everybody shut up okay i never i never
get these uh
let's roll the first one you have three
new messages first message
quit fucking calling you motherfuckers
nobody
fucking ask you to call me cocksuckers
so quit
fucking calling motherfuckers
i got him right where i want him so i'm
not worried about that one um
and everything's different it sucks i
don't want change
i don't pay for change i just pay you to
do what you do
i don't want you to think i don't want
you to feel i don't want you to make my
experience
better and i sure as hell don't want
cartoons okay uh
probably wrong number uh ross it's your
father calling
it's man up time we're kicking you off
the family cell plan until you get a
real job okay
classic dad um he and i have a
totally normal relationship where he uh
he's a prankster
let's just roll the first um first
segment
hey hello hey i'm looking for boyd
this is he hey boyd how you doing i'm
good
nice hey um i'm tim i'm calling from
have you ever heard before no i hadn't
all right so uh really what we are we're
uh a google funded
farming management system yeah what do i
do to get my name off
i think that i punch nine is that right
and it takes me off
i'm i'm not sure i'm trying to get off
your call list
okay punch nine and it comes off but uh
well hey here's what i need to do
something different to get off your list
i guess so but i mean now that i've got
you on the phone um
you know just curious how are you guys
tracking things
on the farm are you doing it with like
pen and paper i'm just curious how do
assholes like you get my fucking
telephone number and why do you call me
are you some kind of a dick that can't
get a job anywhere else or understand i
don't want to talk to you when i'm doing
something like that
so take my fucking name off your list
and
shove the phone up your ass okay
okay
let's jump into the mind of an expert
someone who lives the role day in and
day out someone who has
mastered handling rejection today we
have morgan j
ingram director of sales execution and
evolution at jb sales
founder of the sdr chronicles and one of
the top sales voices on linkedin thanks
for joining us happy to be here man
excited
so mental health i've been hearing a lot
about this term lately
mostly from my therapist debated in some
circles as to its legitimacy
but i wanted to ask you morgan is mental
health a thing
it's real it's real it's real would you
say sales is good for your mental health
well that's something debate for
everyone right i think it depends on
what role you're in what
organization you're in who your leader
is however sales i believe if you do it
in the right way can help helps you
become a better person
and so in becoming a better person it
requires you to
okay like i'm gonna make sure i don't go
insane
i gotta be working out i gotta eat the
right way and i think
sales because it's so high pressure can
get you to start doing those things in
the right way because
there's just so much going on that
that's my personal take everybody can
think about that differently though i
always said sales is a series of
plateaus and deep deep cavernous valleys
i mean our job is to repeatedly get
rejected
so morgan what was your darkest moment
in sales
and when did you hit rock bottom if you
have hit rock bottom i've hit rock
bottom many times in fact i have a
lovely little chateau
down at the rock bottom so when i first
started i talked about this a lot the
first three votes out was
awful man yeah i didn't hit quota three
months straight
and i remember the first cold call they
told me that i talked way too fast and
i'll never make it and they hung up on
me
i was like this is not fun like you
watch movies you watch tv shows like oh
this is gonna be awesome and then you're
in it like
this is a lie yeah it's nothing like
this wow
i like myself right now yeah exactly so
three at three months in like that was
definitely i was like in a
dark voice for sure because i was like i
don't know if i could be successful
doing this like i don't know how other
people are
seeing results i remember i called
someone on friday afternoon they're like
why are you trying to fuck up my weekend
like
like verbatim i'm just telling you what
they said all right it was tough but i
think
just after a while you build mental
toughness and you build
that resiliency factor at what point is
it appropriate to
turn to drugs and alcohol
so here's the thing i'm not going to
advocate someone to go be a rager
rather probably a smoker but this but
what you're saying right here
is key right every sales rep has to have
an escapism
yeah i don't know what that is gonna be
for everyone but you have
to have one like guaranteed and that
could either be
hey i need to go out hey i need to
watch a movie me i play video games but
if you don't have an escapism like
it's gonna be very hard for you to stay
sane
right right so so you you have to have
one so i was looking at your linkedin
looks like you started as an sdr and
then went to an sdr management role
did you even close bro
this is a great question here at terms i
didn't directly close any deals i was
part of some deals i was on some calls
but
never ran a full sale cycle and that's
why i joined john because i wanted to do
that
and now you have and speaking of john is
it true he has a full head of hair under
that bald cap
we have a picture it's in the slack
somewhere he had blonde hair which i
was like wait what yeah he actually
legit has like
a full head of blonde hair i was like
what in the world
it blew me away because i didn't expect
that that shiny dome is his brand
so morgan for everyone out there who
wants to learn more from you
what's the project you're working on
right now and where can people find you
and
talk more sales yeah so linkedin
twitter instagram at morgan j ingram
super simple but the thing i'm the most
excited about right now
is muffins with morgan yes i eat muffins
while
i'm on this show this isn't just me just
making it up like
there are muffins every time and it's
for an hour hour q a come in
linkedin live ask your questions we have
a fun time i play i play music we vibe
so come on down thank you so much for
joining us here on unsubscribe
yeah man thanks for having me
been there oh
greetings sale savages professor
corporate here
self-proclaimed master of the persuasive
arts here with some tips on
psychological persuasion
these tips can be used both in the sales
game and online courtship
as one ends in sex and the other
in closed revenue and sometimes sex
in any relationship business or carnal
the goal is to develop trust researchers
found that faces are seen as more
trustworthy
when they make a soft or weak smile more
weak
weaker good
tremendous astounding stupendous in a
study done back in the 1990s by
whoever the fuck harvard or some shit
they found that when someone was asked a
favor
they actually held the person who asked
in higher regard
would you mind sending me that ted talk
on bird migrations you mentioned sure
i'd be happy to do that small favor for
you ah really i would
this phenomenon is called the benjamin
franklin effect
it is both a counter-intuitive concept
and dope as fuck
my third tip is to take an unexpected
position
taking an unexpected position especially
one that
seemingly violates your own
self-interest is a simple
yet powerful way of communicating your
trustworthiness to
others you know i actually prefer corded
headphones
wow that is such an unexpected position
you are so trustworthy my fourth tip
is if you're worried about your prospect
or date becoming disengaged likely
because you haven't stopped talking to
any point and you just keep on rambling
on about
a long pause you see i got you
so the best way to re-engage your
audience is a long
pregnant pause fifth
let your prospect feel like their
opinion matters
so value their perspective even if it is
complete hogwash
that is so smart i will totally try
watering my plants with green tea
so they love the caffeine huh yeah they
do
you know it's funny no one ever values
my perspective like this
and finally people love nothing more
than their own ideas
so incept them with some of your own
which they can then take
credit for you know speaking of caffeine
i heard about this cafe that has a great
social distancing setup
you know i would like to meet in person
before making this official what if we
go there
that is a great idea you just had
let's do it and one last bonus tip
go for the clothes and get concrete next
steps
how about saturday at 1pm i can bring
the contract for you to sign
i was just going to say that this
software
is going to be such a game changer you
see
now go close more business and
more sex which is the same for me
sex in business
69. see you next time
so that's it for today folks hopefully
you all got a little
learnt up which is like turnt up but you
learn
something or whatever but as it goes in
life sales can be a series of vicious
vicious emotional roller coasters
but that's okay because you are now
prepared you know the mantra sales are
dope
never ever stop selling now since we've
spent much of this season having me
roast you
i thought it'd be a little fun change it
up a bit have you guys roast me so
in the season finale episode 6 of
unsubscribe we are going to do the roast
of corporate bro so
hit me with your best shot i'm an alto
that's why that sounded so good all
right i want you to pull out all the
stops i want you to say the most hurtful
fucked up shit you can think of and
leave it in the comments below
youtube's probably gonna flag it as an
inappropriate comment i hope it does
cause i'm gonna prove it i'm gonna let
it sit there and it just might be
featured in episode six
see you all next time oh
folks we got another one let's peep it
good afternoon corporate this is dr
zamora and i'm following up on our
session
and yeah guys this is not for the
viewers can we have a unique set of
issues
can no longer be your doctor sociopathy
narcissism cordophobia intolerance and
not of the gluten type just in general
psychopathy
apotmophilia bitch fastness the list
goes on
i really do believe that if you spend
some time investing in yourself you will
find a way out of this
eternal darkness to use your words i've
had patients who've been in similar
situations though
definitely not as fucked up as you i i
want to
reiterate that anyway good luck in about
a week you'll receive a 500
invoice for this voicemail because your
insurance doesn't cover this
so good luck i'm rooting for you and may
god have mercy on your soul
you
