

Leibowitz Concludes

Book 10 of 13

by

Edward Drobinski

Copyright © 2019 by Edward Drobinski

All rights reserved

Copyright © 2019 by Edward M. Drobinski

Well within the imagined constraints regarding the precise precision of impressiveness, all spurious and soon to be overstated rights are supposedly reserved, and are hereby ludicrously claimed as such; the result of the confines of the US law which provides a modicum of protection to written materiel; strongly encouraging plagiarism, which is now disciplined by a righteous "Shame on you" from inconsequential writers and college professors on the US Federal Government dole. Since it may appear as amateurish to leave this blurb out, and though unpunished breaches invariably will be the case, this section is customarily mandated to say in sad futility that no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means except those so authorized, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in the course of writing a review; limited to one of the laudatory type. A sincere thanks is extended to those who have allowed this time-saving boilerplate to be copied under a spurious CCO license.

The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Understand? Fictitious? As in untrue, fabricated, invented, made-up (not like in Liberace), false, pretend, fictional, conjured, and all those other words one calls liars. In fact they are so obviously fictitious that any attempt to assert otherwise would have to be the mercenary ploy of some lazy, non-productive crook or crooks, counseled, aided, and abetted by an otherwise unemployed chiseler or chiselers, as yet un-dismissed from the less than diligent bar. Any fancied apparent similarity to real persons is not intended by the author insofar as the author can conjure every possible archetype and their subdivisions upon subdivisions upon subdivisions ....... and if thought to be detected is either a coincidence or the product of your own sick and troubled imagination; perhaps most practically suggestive of an intensification in treatment and dosage.

Where the names of real places, corporations, institutions, and public figures may be projected onto made up stuff, they are intended to denote only such said made up stuff, not anything presently real as of the time of this entirely conjectural and metaphorical writing.

I hope that you are one of those blessed with common sense, thereby being one who did not bother to read this semi-obligatory absurdity.

Portions have previously appeared in the following; New Yorker, Esquire, Playboy, New York Times, Ploughshares, Paris Review, and the halls of prestigious Horror Sleaze Trash (HST). Need the writer say more?

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Contents

**34**

Zohar Ben-Yahu

_"Mr. President, ladies and gentlemen, what I'm about to say is going to shock you; Israel has a bright future at the UN._

_Now I know that hearing that from me must surely come as a surprise, because year after year I've stood at this very podium and slammed the UN for its obsessive bias against Israel. And the UN deserved every scathing word; for the disgrace of the General Assembly that last year passed 20 resolutions against the democratic state of Israel and a grand total of three resolutions against all the other countries on the planet._

_Israel - 20; rest of the world \- three._

_UN members must think that we Israelis are dippashits. No we buy this. .......... No expleted way; please excuse the vernacularity. We know. Simple. If you got the oil the UN kisses your hairy old tuchis. If you're Israel, and a Palestinian bum with explosive get a black eye on the way to jail, you get condemned. Got some news for you, the real dippashits. Israel is going to have plenty oil real soon. Then we laugh while you kiss our hairy tuchis. And it's going to cost you plenty. Look, who's the dope here? The ones selling the substance, or the beggars addicted to it? And it's ours. It belong to Ukranian Jewry and was taken away during WWII. Israel take it back. Ain't payback a tsoyg?_

_And what about the joke called the UN Human Rights Council, which each year condemns Israel more than all the countries of the world combined? As women are being systematically raped, murdered, sold into slavery in Arab nations as well as across the world, which is the only country that the UN's Commission on Women chose to condemn this year? Yep, you guessed it; Israel. Israel. Israel, where women fly fighter jets, lead major corporations, head universities, preside twice over the Supreme Court, have served as speaker of the_ _Knesset and Prime Minister, .......... Ministress, and fuck like they just got an early release from a five to ten for good behavior._

_And this circus continues at UNESCO. UNESCO, the UN body charged with preserving world heritage. Now, this is hard to believe, but UNESCO just denied the 4,000 year connection between the Jewish people and its holiest site, the Temple Mount. That's just as absurd as denying the connection between the Great Wall of China and China. If we were Jewish we might allege worldwide discrimination._

_Indeed, at home in Israel we are a tolerant people. We even tolerate those nutty 'Jews for Jesus' people chanting without permit in Jerusalem's business district as well as the random, treasonous rantings of those bookish Neturei Karta wackos. Soch a kvetch, you should only know. And we don't even give either of them ten noogies or a condemning resolution._

_Ladies and gentlemen; The UN, began as a moral force, and has become a moral farce. Your own secular decree of 1948 gave rise to this great state; this state which you now condemn in your impotence only worthy of a forgettable Saturday Night Live skit. The joke is on you, your hallowed ground for otherwise unemployable diplomats, as we Israelis have long seen that your proclamations serve only to encourage ISIS thugs who would impose Sharia law on anyone that you and they can intimidate. We do not care. Truth, we really do not care of your Obomber cheered, regressive paperwork. We have endured and always will._

_So when it comes to Israel at the UN, you'd probably think nothing will ever change, right? Well, think again. You see, everything will change, and a lot sooner than you think. The change will happen in this hall, because back home, your governments and people are_ _rapidly changing their attitudes towards Israel. And sooner or later, that's going to change the way you vote on Israel at the UN._

_More and more nations in Asia, in Africa, in Latin America, more and more nations see Israel as a potent partner; a partner in fighting the terrorism of today, a partner in developing the technology of tomorrow._

_Today Israel has diplomatic relations with over 160 countries. That's nearly double the number that we had when I served here as Israel's ambassador some 30 years ago. And those ties are getting broader and deeper every day. World leaders increasingly appreciate that Israel is a powerful country with one of the best intelligence services on earth. Because of our unmatched experience and proven capabilities in fighting terrorism, many of your governments seek our help in keeping your countries safe._

_Many also seek to benefit from Israel's ingenuity in agriculture, in health, in water, in cyber and in the fusion of big data, connectivity and artificial intelligence; that fusion that is changing our world in every way._

_You might consider this. Israel leads the world in recycling wastewater. We recycle about 90% of our wastewater. Now, how remarkable is that? Well, given that the next country on the list only recycles about 20% of its wastewater, Israel is a global water power. So if you have a thirsty world, and we do, there's no better ally than Israel._

_How about cybersecurity? That's an issue that affects everyone. Israel accounts for one tenth of one percent of the world's population, yet last year we attracted some 20% of the global private investment in cybersecurity. I want you to digest that number. In cyber, Israel is punching a whopping 200 times above its weight. So Israel is also a global cyber power. If hackers are targeting your banks, your planes, your power grids and just about everything else, Israel can offer indispensable help._

_Governments are changing their attitudes towards Israel, because they know that Israel can help them protect their people, can help them feed them, can help them better their lives, and will soon be able to give them a wholesale deal on oil._

_And let's not forget about the universe' center; your schwantz. Too often people are born with a little putz. It's sad and it's not their fault, nor is it a testimony to the size of their manhood. Hehehe. We Israeli men have been blessed with largesse, but maybe those Neturei Karta schlemiels are the exception which proves the assertion. I want you all should know that that blessing didn't stop us from selflessly engineering penis enhancement pills for the rest of the world which actually work. Scientifically enhanced grace be upon all schwantz, I say all, an egalitarian outreach to the world, even the goyische knee-jerkers programmed to disdain, producing in their women a natural flocking to inseminating Israeli marksmen, who put m_ **arksmanship, which obviously** refers to the skills of a marksman, markswoman or sharpshooter, this being a person who is skilled in precision-based shooting, using projectile weapons, usually with a rifle, but most commonly with a designated marksman rifle or a sniper rifle, to shoot at long or short range targets, length kindly unstated. _As a people, we do not discriminate and even sell merchandise in those s***hole countries which directly advertise their farce through speaking overly obvious Farsi, wherever they and their phony avatars may be; yet respond to their uninvited, a sad product of the web defaults, yet in a financially lucrative sense, that incorrectly seen as diversionary and perhaps even innacurate attempted depiction, at the very least a caveat in a minimalistic source of incursion into our charitable intentions, as herein articulated, and further as if anyone truly respected their alleged humanity, yet to be irrelevantly demonstrated on a scientific basis acceptable to the geeks with the pens and pencils in the plastic pocket holders below their yellow reading glass neck cords, hirsute Rapunzel sequestered in their efficient, yet conveniently false view. Got some guillones here that the diplomatic dit-dat's can only fantasize about. Hehe. Yet, this is not our choice. This burden has been imposed upon us by Yahweh, through our necessary reaction to the tyranny of the goyim. Despite that, we forgive, and in that vein I'd like to read into the record a testimonial from a now happy man in Syria._

'i are so Happy to b writing this article i was heartbroken because i had very small penis not big enough to satisfy woman, man, or even tiny childrens so moch a part of culture, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my small penis thingy, i have used so much product which i found online but nun cood offer me the help i searched and searched for. then i saw some few comments about this Heebie-Jeebie's Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin Penis Enlargement Pills, recomended by the specialist herbalist called dr yahoo and decided to email him on his email i saw on the Internet, and he said good things on the email he email to me and gave me some comforting words i ran out and bought some Heebie-Jeebie's Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin Penis Enlargement Pills two weeks i began to feel the enlargement of my penis which was 13 inches longer, and i had to settle out with my ex-girlfrieend my girlfriend was surprised when she saw that my penis was 13 inches longer no longer holdable by skimpy loom of the fruits boxers boxers yes now i get freedom of boxers like big boy so she was very happy that i can satisfied her with my sex and i have got a large schlong penis thingy and a half. i am now celebrating because my other girlfriends chase me and stuff and things has changed totally for good. she always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i are really enjoying my girlfriends, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because dr yahoo is truly a nice man and he also have herbs that cure herpes, diabetes, hepatitis b, cancer and cream for body growth shapes or tuchis enlargement and breast enlargement contact him now or run to the store and get Heebie-Jeebie's Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin.' The preceding unsolicited testimonial may be viewed at any time on Heebie-Jeebie's Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin's Penis Enlargement Pills edit enabled website.

Another happy man or alter trombenik thanks to Israeli ingenuity. I'd like to note that if you order three or more bottles wholesale from Heebie-Jeebie's Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin's Penis Enlargement Pills edit enabled website within the next 48 hours, you will also receive a Commander Cody Decoding Ring, free of charge, an item once again most valuable. No more should anyone have to be embarrassed into feeling the need to hide a small putz after a manly workout at the gym, nor be unaware of the fake news secret messages abounding about their schwantz deficiency. Pill takers will proudly shower with the other guys and be flag waving proud.

_This summer I had an unbelievable opportunity to see this change so vividly during an unforgettable visit to four African countries. This is the first visit to Africa by an Israeli Prime Minister in decades. Later today, I'll be meeting with leaders from 17 African countries. We'll discuss how Israeli technology can help them in their efforts to transform their countries._

_In Africa, things are changing. In China, India, Russia, Japan, attitudes towards Israel have changed as well. These powerful nations know that, despite Israel's small size, it can make a big difference in many, many areas that are important to them._

_But now I'm going to surprise you even more. You see, the biggest change in attitudes towards Israel is taking place elsewhere. It's taking place in the tiny putzed Arab world. Our peace treaties with Egypt and Jordan continue to be anchors of stability in the volatile Middle East. But I have to tell you this. For the first time in my lifetime, many other states in the region recognize that Israel is not their enemy. They recognize that Israel is their ally. Our common enemies are Iran and ISIS. Our common goals are security, prosperity and peace. I believe that in the years ahead we will work together to achieve these goals, work together openly._

_So Israel's diplomatic relations are undergoing nothing less than a revolution. But in this revolution, we never forget that our most cherished alliance, our deepest friendship, is with the United States of America, the most powerful and the most generous nation on earth. Our unbreakable bond with the United States of America transcends parties, politics and Obama. It reflects, above all else, the overwhelming support for Israel among the American people, support which is at record highs and for which we are deeply grateful._

_The United Nations denounces Israel; the United States supports Israel. And a central pillar of that defense has been America's consistent support for Israel at the UN. I appreciate President Rumpole's commitment to that longstanding US policy. In fact, the only time that the United States cast a UN Security Council veto during the Rumpole presidency was against an anti-Israel resolution in 2016. As President Rumpole rightly declared at this podium, peace will not come from statements and resolutions at the United Nations. After Israeli work and ingenuity transformed this camel floop, barren land into a fine area for human habitation, you would have us hand it back to the thieving, lazy, un-educated camel floopers. Even if we were to do so, within a year the place would be covered with stinking camel floop._

_I believe the day is not far off when Israel will be able to rely on many, many countries to stand with us at the UN. Slowly but surely, the days when UN ambassadors reflexively condemn Israel, those days are coming to an end._

Zohar Ben-Yahu at the podium; property of the author.

Distinguished delegates, ladies and gentlemen, when I spoke here, five years ago, Israel stood alone among the nations. Of the nearly 200 countries that sit in this hall, only Israel openly opposed the Obomber nuclear deal with Iran. We oppose it because it threatens our future, even our very survival. We opposed it then, and oppose it now because the deal paved Iran's path to a nuclear arsenal. And by lifting the sanctions, it's fueled Iran's campaign of arbitrary carnage and conquest throughout the Middle East.

We oppose it. We oppose it because the deal was based on a fundamental lie; that Iran is not seeking to develop nuclear weapons. Now, Israel exposed that lie earlier this year. Two February's past, Israel conducted a daring raid on Iran's secret atomic archive. We obtained over 100,000 documents and videos that had been stashed in vaults in an innocent looking building in the heart of Tehran.

A year ago now, in last May, I presented a short summary of what we obtained to the international media. I provided hard evidence of Iran's plans to build nuclear weapons and its plans to deceive the international community. Israel shared this information and even more damning evidence that we found with members of the P5+1, and with the International Atomic Energy Agency.

Twelve months have passed. The IAEA has still not taken any action. It has not posed a single question to Iran. It has not demanded to inspect a single new site discovered in that secret archive. So, given this inaction, I decided to reveal today something else that we have shared with the IAEA and with a few intelligence agencies. What I'm about to say has not been shared publicly before.

Today, I am disclosing for the first time that Iran has another secret facility in Tehran; a secret atomic warehouse for storing massive amounts of equipment and materiel from Iran's secret nuclear weapons program. Last May, we exposed the site of Iran's secret atomic archive, right here, in the Shor-abad District of Tehran. Today I'm revealing the site of a second facility; Iran's secret atomic warehouse. It's right here, in the Turquz-abad District of Tehran, just three miles away.

Map of Iran's secret Atomic warehouse in Tehran; now public domain.

Let me show you exactly what the secret atomic warehouse looks like. Here it is. You see, like the atomic archive, it's another innocent looking compound. Now for those of you at home using Google Earth, this no longer secret atomic warehouse is on Maher Alley, Maher Street. You have the coordinates; you can try to get there. And for those of you who try to get there, it's 100 meters from the Kalishoi, the rug cleaning operation. By the way, I hear they do a fantastic job cleaning rugs there. But by now they may be radioactive rugs.

This is the second secret site. Now, countries with satellite capabilities may notice some increased activity on Maher Alley in the days and weeks ahead. The people they'll see scurrying back and forth are Iranian officials desperately trying to finish the job of cleaning up that site. Because, you see, since we raided the atomic archive, they've been busy cleaning out the atomic warehouse.

Just last month, they removed 15 kilograms of radioactive material. You know what they did with it? They had 15 kilograms of radioactive material, they had to get it out of the site, so they took it out and they spread it around Tehran in an effort to hide the evidence. The endangered residents of Tehran may want to know that they can get a Geiger counter on Amazon for only $29.99. As of today that's just 4 million Iranian rials, but we'll get to that later. I'll talk about the dying Iranian economy in a minute. They took this radioactive material and spread it around Tehran.

Now, the Iranian officials cleaning out that site still have a lot of work to do because they've had at least, at least 15 ship containers, they're gigantic, 15 ship containers full of nuclear related equipment and material stored there. Now, since each of those containers can hold 20 tons of material, this means that this site contains as much as 300 tons, 300 tons of nuclear related equipment and material. Right there.

So, distinguished delegates, you have to ask yourself a question. Why did Iran keep a secret atomic archive and a secret atomic warehouse? Because, after all, South Africa and Libya, when they gave up their nuclear programs, the first thing they did was to destroy both the archives and the material and equipment.

And the answer to the question is simple. The reason Iran didn't destroy its atomic archive and its atomic warehouse is because it hasn't abandoned its goal to develop nuclear weapons. In fact, it planned to use both of these sites in a few years when the time would be right to break out to the atom bomb.

But, ladies and gentlemen, rest assured, that won't happen. It won't happen because what Iran hides, Israel will find.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a message to the head of the IAEA, Mr. Yukiya Amano. I believe he's a good man. I believe he wants to do the right thing. Well, Mr. Amano, do the right thing. Go inspect this atomic warehouse, immediately, before the Iranians finish clearing it out.

Distinguished delegates, do you remember when we were promised that inspections could take place anytime, anywhere? Remember that? Anytime, anywhere? Well, how about inspections right here, right now. And Mr. Amano, while you're at it, inspect the other secret sites we told you about. Once and for all, tell the world the truth about Iran.

Now, I also have a message today for the tyrants of Tehran.

Israel knows what you're doing, and Israel knows where you're doing it. Israel will never let a regime that calls for its destruction to develop nuclear weapons. Not now, not in ten years, not ever. And Israel will do whatever it must do to defend itself against Iran's aggression. We will continue to act against you in Syria. We will act against you in Lebanon. We will act against you in Iraq. We will act against you whenever and wherever we must act to defend our state and defend our people. Rest assured we bombed it once, and we will bomb it again. And this is my message to you, distinguished UN delegates. You're not going to do a damn thing about it, other than issue another of those ineffectual condemning resolutions, with which you can take and wipe your tubby tuchis.

My friends and distinguished delegates; years ago, a few weeks after the nuclear deal was completed, I asked this question from this very podium. Does anyone seriously believe that flooding Iran's radical theocracy with weapons and cash will curb its appetite for aggression? But many of the deal's supporters believed just that. They believed that Iran's regime would become more moderate, more peaceful. They believed that Iran would use the billions of dollars it received in sanctions relief to improve the lives of its people; to solve the water problem, to solve the trucking problem, to solve the electricity problem, hospitals, schools. ...... That's apparently what they believed, and perhaps many of you also believed that.

Well, this didn't happen.

Instead, Iran used the money to fuel its vast war machine. Just this past year, Iran has attacked Kurds in Iraq, slaughtered Sunnis in Syria, armed Hezbollah in Lebanon, financed Hamas in Gaza, fired missiles into Saudi Arabia, and threatened freedom of navigation in the Straits of Hormouz and the Strait of Bab al Mandeb.

Some peace. Some moderation.

And if you think, if you think that Iran's aggression has been confined to the Middle East, think again. Last month, two Iranian agents were arrested for plotting terror attacks right here in the United States. And several weeks ago, Iranian agents were arrested for plotting terror attacks in the heart of Europe, that ostensibly ignored as a result of faux vaively reaching for a Politically Correct Police absolution. The PCP. Yes, the PCP; as clearly defined through their aversion to certain words in other times innocuous, and conveniently less vocal than we loud Israeli rubes who are repudiated on paper; theirs relegated to an impotent and merely implied, never to be delivered promise to, like that expounded by Obomber's Muslim favoritism and weakness, make a happy, happy, smiley face at those they instinctively fear, the likely result of "New Age," Oprah, and Dr. Phil pronouncements, more or less confirmed by Neilson, in their accepted as the best available of calculated ability, persuasive in every multi=national boardroom, to direct the most important of variables; money and its near term flow of advertising dollars, to whatever the US buying public deems to be cool. It is multi-laterrally an abomination, an un-feeling pragmatism, a truth, a bias, a baldfaced lie, and in search of other characterizations currently not personally available through lack of interest or the more self-effacing false humility, so standardly prescribed within the confines of the humble, ultimately a sojourn into an un-predicted un-predictability, as time-adjusted, and chronicled through Carroll's or Blake's rabbit holes.

Yet while the United States is confronting Iran with new sanctions, Europe and others are appeasing the more equal Orwellian animals in Iran by trying to help them bypass those sanctions. Now I just used a word, a tough word, a very strong word – appeasement, and I use it reluctantly, but unfortunately, that's exactly what we are seeing again in Europe. Think about this. The same week Iran was caught red-handed trying to murder European citizens; European leaders were rolling out the red carpet for Iranian President Rouhani, promising to give Iran even more money. I bear the burden of having been conigned to the bookish view of an historian's son. That constraint divuldged, I have to ask. Ask. I ask not merely as an historian's son, I ask it as a Jew, as that word is commonly misunderstood, as a citizen of the world, as someone who's lived through the 20th century. Have these European leaders learned nothing from history? Will they ever wake up? Well, we in Israel, we don't need a wake-up call, because Iran threatens us every day. Because despite the best of hope, and there were many hopes around the nuclear deal, this deal did not push war further away. It brought war ever closer to our borders, necessitating a response.

In Syria, Iran is trying to establish permanent military bases against us and has already launched missiles and drones into our territory. In Gaza, Iran is arming terror groups to launch rocket attacks into our cities and terror attacks against our civilians. In Lebanon, in Lebanon Iran is directing Hezbollah to build secret sites to convert inaccurate projectiles into precision guided missiles, missiles that can target deep inside Israel within an accuracy of ten meters.

Hezbollah, listen to this, listen as if you pretend to care, you are well versed in that matter; Hezbollah is deliberately using the innocent people of Beirut as human shields. They have placed three of these missile conversion sites alongside Beirut's international airport. Here's a picture that's worth a thousand missiles.

Map of precision guided missile factories in Beirut; now public domain.

There's Beirut's international airport. There's the first missile site. It's in the Ouzai neighborhood on the water's edge, a few blocks away from the runway. Here's the second site. It's underneath a soccer stadium, that's the soccer stadium, two blocks way. And here's the third site. It's adjacent to the airport itself, right next to it. So I also have a message for Hezbollah today. Israel knows. Israel also knows what you're doing. Israel knows where you're doing it. And Israel will not let you get away with it.

Ladies and gentlemen, just as the nuclear deal supporters were wrong about what would happen when sanctions would be removed, they were wrong, dead wrong, about what would happen when sanctions would be restored. They argued that US sanctions alone would have little impact, little economic impact on Iran. That's what they said. Really?

Well, let's see what happened to Iran's economy now that President Rumpole has forced companies to choose between doing business with Iran and doing business with the United States, whose GDP is 50 times the size of Iran's. A year ago, Iran's economy was booming. Now it's collapsing. Iran's currency is plummeting. Inflation and unemployment are soaring. British airlines, German banks, French oil companies, Japanese oil importers and many others are scrambling to get out. If that's little economic impact, imagine what will happen with the next batch of US sanctions is imposed in November.

The deal's supporters were also wrong when they argued; you have to believe that they argue this. We're going to have many arguments with them. They also argued that restoring sanctions would rally the Iranian people around the regime. Well, they're definitely rallying, but not around the regime. They're rallying against the regime. They're not chanting death to America. They're chanting death to the Iranian dictator. They're not chanting export the Islamic revolution. They're chanting leave Syria! Leave Lebanon! Leave Gaza! Take care of us in Iran!

I listen to these protests. I talk to the Iranian people. I issue these videos and I get so many responses from Iranians. At first I thought these are Iranian exiles in the safety of London or Paris or Los Angeles. No. They are Iranians from Iran embracing Israel, criticizing their totalitarian regime. That's an understatement. With their names, which I will not disclose in reverence to their bravery. And I ask my intelligence people, what's going on. They reply as required, but lack being able to bridge that space between the moment and what has passed. This is no complaint; just a recognition of that space and the derided, un-scientific attempt to transgress it. And shortly after the protests broke out, not because of what I said, but it was an indicator of something extraordinary that was taking place there. Because in these protests, the Iranian people are showing unbelievable courage.

From the urban centers to the outlying villages; and take it from me, it's now embracing the whole of Iran; from the striking bazaar merchants to the young women uncovering their hair. The people of Iran are bravely standing up to a regime that has brutally repressed them for four decades and that has squandered their money, and still squanders their money in bloody wars across the Middle East.

So here's what I say to Europe's leaders and to others. Instead of coddling Iran's dictators, join the US and Israel, and most of the Arab world in supporting new bombs and new sanctions against a regime that endangers all of us and all of the world.

Israel is deeply grateful to President Rumpole for his bold decision to withdraw from the disastrous nuclear deal with Iran. Many, many of our Arab neighbors are also grateful. And everyone who cares about the peace and security of the world should also be grateful.

But, ladies and gentlemen, I have an important confession to make. This may surprise you, but I have to admit that the Iran deal has had one positive consequence, a seemingly unintended one, but a positive consequence. By empowering Iran, it brought Israel and many Arab states closer together than ever before, closer together than ever before, in an intimacy and friendship that I've not seen in my lifetime and would have been unimaginable a few years ago.

And you know, when you form friendships around a threat, around a challenge, you quickly see opportunities, not only for security, but how to bring a better life for your and our people which Israel can help and wants to help do. Israel deeply values these new friendships, and I hope the day will soon arrive when Israel will be able to expand peace, a formal peace, beyond Egypt and Jordan to other Arab neighbors, including the Palestinians. I look forward to working with President Rumpole and his peace team to achieve that goal.

I also want to use this opportunity, we're here at the UN; it's a place I know because I served here as ambassador many years ago for many years, so I know something about the UN. So I want to use this opportunity to express Israel's appreciation to President Rumpole and Ambassadors past and presen for the unwavering support they have provided Israel at the United Nations. They have unequivocally backed Israel's right to defend itself. They rightly pulled out of a history denying UNESCO and a morally bankrupt UN Human Rights Council. They have more resolutions about Israel than the rest of the world combined, I think. And tenfold compared to, I don't know, Iran, Syria, you name it. Not even tenfold, because you can't multiply zero by any number.

They stopped funding, President Rumpole that is. They stopped funding an unreformed UNRWA, an organization that instead of solving the Palestinian refugee problem, perpetuates it. Day after day, the Rumpole administration has stood up to what has long been a specialty here at the UN; the slandering of Israel. Even though the shameful resolution comparing Zionism to racism was repealed 25 years ago, I'm sorry to say that its foul stench still clings to these halls. Goddammit. Israel airlifted Ethiopian Jews to freedom and a new life in Israel, in the Jewish state. Yet here at the UN, here at the UN, Israel is absurdly accused of racism.

Israel's Arab citizens vote in our elections, serve in our parliament, preside over our courts, and have exactly the same individual rights as all other Israeli citizens. Yet here at the UN, Israel is shamefully accused of apartheid. Today, there are at least five times as many Palestinians as there were in 1948, the year of Israel's founding. Yet here at the UN, Israel is outrageously accused of ethnic cleansing.

Ladies and Gentlemen, you know what this is? It's the same old antisemitism with a brand new face. That's all it is. Once, it was the Jewish people that were slandered and held to a different standard. Today, it's the Jewish state that is slandered and held to a different standard. Here's a specific example. Take the outlandish attacks that have been leveled against Israel after our Knesset, our parliament, recently adopted a law declaring Israel the nation state of the Jewish people. Mind you, Israel is a free country. You can oppose a law, and people did. You can call for different wording in this or that clause, or you can call to add or subtract a clause. You can do that. But when Israel is called racist, Israel is called racist for making Hebrew its official language and for having the Star of David its national flag. When Israel is labeled an apartheid state for declaring itself the nation state of the Jewish people, this is downright preposterous. And you know why?

Because represented in this hall today are more than 100 countries that have only one official language, even though many other languages are commonly spoken within those countries. There are more than 50 countries here that have crosses or crescents on their flags, even though they have many non-Muslims and non-Christians, many of them, living in their midst. And there are dozens of countries that define themselves as nation states of a particular people, even though there are many ethnic and national minorities within their borders. None of those countries are denigrated or libeled for celebrating their unique national identity. Only Israel is denigrated. Only Israel is libeled. What is unique about the Jewish people is not that we have a nation state. What is unique is that many still oppose us having a nation state. Moments ago, President Abbas outrageously said that Israel's Nation State Law proves that Israel is a racist, apartheid state.

President Abbas, you should know better. You wrote a dissertation denying the Holocaust. Your Palestinian Authority imposes death sentences on Palestinians for selling land to Jews. Did you hear that? If a Jew buys an apartment, a piece of land anywhere in the Palestinian territories, the Palestinian who sold him that land is executed. That's what the law says.

President Abbas, you proudly pay Palestinian terrorists who murder Jews. We all know that. But we also are unaware of that you murder Paletinians, supposedly your own people for doing everyday business with Jews. In fact, the more they slay, the more you pay. That's in their law too. And you condemn Israel's morality? You call Israel racist?

This is not the way to peace. This is not the way to achieve the peace we all want and need and to which Israel remains committed. This body should not be applauding the head of a regime that pays terrorists. The UN should condemn such a despicable policy. And the UN, the UN which brokered a ceasefire in 2014, should demand that Hamas release our fallen soldiers Oron Shaul and Hadar Goldin, who was kidnapped when Hamas violated that very ceasefire. Hamas should also release the two Israeli citizens it holds captive, Abera Mengistu and Hisham al Sayed.

Ladies and gentlemen, every time I stand here, I feel as I do today. I am privileged to stand here as the Prime Minister of the Jewish and democratic state of Israel. Some believe that Israel cannot be both Jewish and democratic. This is false. Israel is both, and Israel will always remain both. Ever since Abraham and Sarah made their journey to the promised land nearly 4,000 years ago, the Land of Israel has been our homeland. It's the place where Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob, Leah and Rachel carried on their eternal covenant with God. It is where Joshua made us a sovereign nation, where David ruled and Isaiah preached, where the Maccabees fought and where Masada fell. It is the place from which we were exiled and to which we returned, rebuilding our ancient and eternal capital Jerusalem.

The nation state of Israel is the only place where the Jewish people proudly exercise our collective right of self-determination. That right was recognized nearly a century ago by the League of Nations and over 70 years ago by the United Nations, when it voted to support the establishment of a Jewish state. That's what it said, in that resolution; a Jewish state.

At the same time, Israel is a vibrant democracy, where all its citizens; Jews and non-Jews alike; enjoy equal individual rights, and these rights are guaranteed by the laws soon to be ours upon delivery of five more US F-4 Phantoms. In Israel, whether you are a Jew or an Arab, a Christian or a Muslim, a Druze or a Bedouin, or anything else, your individual rights are exactly the same, and they will always remain the same. In the Middle East, that's not obvious. Now that's an understatement. In the Middle East, where women are often treated as property, minorities are persecuted, gays are hanged, Israel stands out as a shining example of freedom and progress in its efficient use of humane internment camps.

Ladies and gentlemen; I could not be more proud to represent my country Israel. I am proud that we've made Israel a global technological power of breathtaking creativity, in information technology, in precision agriculture, you know what that is? We target the fertilizer and the water down to the individual plant, not field, not part of a field, down to the plant. Let it never be saif that we lack concern for individual rights. Justt ask those well-fed plants. I'm proud of these geniuses, who have brought these unbelievable developments to an arid land of camel and yak poo. And if anyone thinks that after all these improvements that we're giving it back they must be the ignorant son of a criminal Bedouin. In water management! In cyber security! In autonomous vehicles! In digital health! In schwantz enhancement! In medical devices and in so many other fields we are improving the lives of billions of people around the world.

I am proud of Israel's brilliant scholars, innovative entrepreneurs and talented artists. I am proud of Israel's devoted teachers, compassionate doctors, and our search-and-rescue teams who save lives from Haiti to Mexico, from Nepal to the Philippines. I am proud, I am so proud of Israel's courageous soldiers, the men and women who bravely defend our homeland while upholding the highest values.

And most of all, ladies and gentlemen; most of all I am proud of my thingy and the people of Israel, both of whom draw extraordinary strength from the deep wellsprings of our heritage, who possess an unbreakable spirit and who are determined as ever to build a secure and magnificent future for the one and only Jewish state.

Thank you."

Production

"I'm not sure that this can be easily transferred to screen. Anti-concepto-maximalism doesn't translate."

"ACM is your word. I see it more as Multi Dimensional Elevator Raspberries, some fragrant, but inescapable in any case. Besides, there are fiery explosions, espionage, love, vampires, zombies, rapes, pillages, mass graves of the mutilated, and the rest the usual Hollywood blockbuster fare."

"Well, as I previously said, this is not an easy fit."

"Fine. If you'll excuse me, I have a gosi at Warner Brothers in 15 minutes."

"Frankly, that's rather rude, especially from a nobody."

"Look, Harv. You kept me waiting an hour past scheduled time, as if my time had no value. So, blame yourself. Bottom line, if you have any interest here's my agent's card. And he doesn't like to be bothered with small change. Understand? ...... Oh, yeah. If you decide to pay for the damn thing, you can do whatever the f*** you want with it. I just want the right to keep my name off if you totally f*** it up. And I'm not doing the screenplay, as I'm tired of looking at this. If you didn't understand the long story, let me give you the short one; 'f*** you, your big-s*** f****** company, and yo mama.' Bye."

News – 5-31-22

PVC News Weak

May 31, 2022.

European Demands

What Will the Neighbors Think?

Will It Matter?

by Jonathan Johns, Staff Reporter

Russia - Ukraine War: Angela Merkel and Emmanuel Macron Make "Demands"

In an apparent diversion to distract voters from their yellow jacketed problems at home, German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Emmanuel Macron issued a joint statement on Friday demanding that Russia release the 24 Ukrainian sailors it detained in the Kerch Strait on April 28th.

"We demand safe, free and unimpeded transit for all ships through the Kerch Strait and the immediate and unconditional release of all illegally detained Ukrainian seafarers," Merkel and Macron said in their statement. "They too should be able to celebrate the upcoming festivities with their families," ostensibly a reference to the "Convention Tattoo Collection," which is an annual international festival-furor in the world of tattoo and piercing scheduled for June 14th in Kiev. "The human rights situation in Crimea, which was annexed by Russia in violation of international law, and the use of military force by Russia in the Strait of Kerch and abusive controls in the Sea of Azov are also a source of great concern to us," the two leaders continued.

But the conflict came to a head in late April, when Russian soldiers prevented three Ukrainian naval ships from entering the Sea of Azov from the Black Sea via the Kerch Strait. Moscow detained 24 Ukrainian soldiers along with all three ships, and none of them have been released. At least two of the soldiers were wounded. Also on Friday, the 24 Ukrainian sailors issued a statement through their Russian lawyer in which they declared themselves prisoners of war.

Russia has accused the Ukrainians of provocation, but intercepted radio communications later revealed that it was the Russians who pursued the Ukrainians into international waters. International law dictates that both Russia and Ukraine must cooperate in their use of the waters, including the Sea of Azov, but analysts said that Russia has been working to ensure that Ukraine does not.

Some experts argued that Russia was attempting to control all of the Kerch Strait and the Sea of Azov and had wider territorial ambitions in the region. Officials in Ukraine's navy, meanwhile said that they were still in the process of testing the accuracy of their navigation devices.

Russia's border fence; public domain.

Elsewhere in the war torn country, in one day, Russia built a border fence between Crimea and Ukraine proper. Crimea's de facto authorities say the fence aims to protect the peninsula's population from Kiev's "crazy antics." Rasputin was quoted as smugly having said; "Rumpole need some Russian know-how. Loser."

Bailey Post Rumpole speech

Motto; property of the author.

"Thank you. Thank you, my friends. Thank you. Great audience in Florida. Tallahassee, right? Got rid of that commie. Didn't ya? Nice work. Love you guys and it's great back being home in this great state. Down here, we don't worry about a little math. Let those pointy headed intellectuals up north carry on over the precise details. What's a majority, anyway? Bunch of pencil necks. Losers. Sad. Thank you. I'd like to say hi and thank you for coming to my good friend and Governor elect Ron DeSantis. Take a bow, Ron. We were together all the way, standing firm against the reds disguised as blues. Okay, be like that, Ron. Suit yourself. I know all about fair weather friends, and just think about what Cohen got for it. We're going to make America great again anyway. You'll be back. Mark my words. You'll be back as soon as you need some more federal help with those voting machines. And hey, hey Nunzio. Good to see ya. Good behavior? It's good to be a friend of Rudy. Yes. You might wanna keep that one good eye on Ron. He's been a bit uppity lately. We'll talk later. And Pasha, hey. I'm not forgetting you. My good friend. All the way from Novosibirsk. About that little kapusta matter, it's just a little delay. We'll talk later. And Rick Scott. Glad you made it. Let's have a hand for your new Senator. Thank you. Thank you. This guy's not any kind of impeachment fanatic. I'll tell ya that. Rick knows to do what's right, lest he be slidin' on all that grease on his bald head all the way back to that donut shop in Bloomington. Lard butt. Loser.

My people. My good people. ....... My good, good, people. ...... let me just wipe my eye on old glory here. ...... Thank you. Hey, look at all those MAGA hats out there. Wave 'em high. And if any of those libtards tries to give you any stuff about it, just put a hole in their head that would make Kennedy's head shots look like a band-aid fixable cut. Self defense in my book. And don't get me started on Cruz' daddy. Thank you. Thank you. You see, it's all for you, my wonderful people. Let me just read an on-line letter one of you sent.

'Dear European Union Comrade;

Past, present, future or in-between, no one here is any longer listening to the on-line propogandists employed by EUCppfib.

This American would like to thank you for once again taking your valuable time to assess our performance. In honesty, we have to express our disappointment at our failing grade, as obtaining your approval is near the top of our priority list. Your view from 4,775 miles is most welcomed as we here often are blinded by 'not seeing the forest for the trees,' if you'll forgive that overused colloquialism.

I do have a request I hope you'll consider in your spare time. Might you attach a printed 'remedial action plan' of sorts to your next assessment? We here in the colonies are most fearful of a shortage of loo paper, and yearn to attain the kind of civilization which EUCppfib members no doubt take for granted. We especially like camping out and meeting new people. We're still young, and I'm confident that we can still learn if properly instructed.

In case what I've written is unclear, please allow me to simplify. F*** you. Blow it out your pontificating, one world and one cheeked ass, if possible.

I thank you in advance for your usual and expected kind courtesy.

Very truly yours,

Snidely Whiplash'

Beautiful. Just beautiful. Isn't it. Thank you. Thank you. And most of all thank you to Snidely. If you can get me your address you'll be getting a top-of-the-line MAGA hat with gold leaf lettering, a valuable collector's item.

Right here, before I forget, I'd like to officially and publicly thank our friends in Israel. Ben-Yahu is the greatest. Isn't he folks? Yes, let's hear it for Prime Minister Zohar. Thank you. Thank you. Their US subsidized planes and bombs sure are keeping those upstart barbarians in those new-fangled and inexperienced Middle Eastern s***hole countries in line. Aren't they? Thank you. Zohar thanks you too. Iran ...... tough stuff. That Muslim Obomber is long gone. Just get over it.

Bailey Post Rumpole"; property of the author.

But, people I'm here to speak with you. You must have seen that rude Democrat invasion of our White House. Sad. Shameful. One could almost excuse Ms. Rancid Bowlschitzky on the grounds of having one of those female problems, but she hasn't had one of those for more than twenty years now. And Chuckles Schnoboner. Disgraceful. Pathetic. The guy must have giggle bugs in his draws, or something. Rest assured, we had the place fumigated once they left. In my quest for the safety of the people of this once great country I can take it. No problem. I'm there for you, people. And we will be great again! Thank you. Thank you. Mike, where are ya Mike? Oh! Okay. I understand. Mike is still appalled and nauseous over that libtard barbarism, home in DC. Damn, and after I mistakenly invited them into our White House, yes our White House. It was a show of good faith in hope of minimal co-operation. I'm sorry. My mistake. But, Mike's a good man, and when he gets more political experience he'll get used to that Dem lack of civility, and be just fine. A less gracious person might have made a remark or two about the poor upbringing their parents must have provided. Disgusting. Sad how those Dem families have been deep-state-nulib encouraged to fall apart. Can we send him some encouragement? Just sing along with me; make Mike Pence well again, make Mike Pence well again, make Mike Pence well again, make Mike Pence well again, make Mike Pence well again, make Mike Pence well again, make Mike Pence well again, make Mike Pence well again. Thank you. Thank you. There you go, buddy. The people love us and we love them right back. Don't we?

Rumpole and 'crowd'"; property of the author.

I hate to tell you this, people. But, you can always count on me to be honest with you. You know that. Thank you, Thank you. Just humbly doing my job. The Democrats are out to risk your lives and limbs at the hands of the marauding criminals and rapists invading our southern border. There. I've said it. No B.S. or Fake News. Straight shootin'. Good, bad, or pathetic. On your behalf I have authorized security personnel to take no prisoners. Wink. Wink. But, they can do just so much without that wall Chuckles and that old bitch seek to obstruct. Madame Bowlschitzky seems to think that she even has some say-so over when I make my state of the union address, too. Next thing you know she'll be thinking that she and Chucky can write it, I suppose after a few remedial courses. Thank you. Thank you. Can you believe that? I mean can you believe that s***? Absurdity's pinnacle has been climbed; an ISIS flag planted.

Now, it must also be truthfully said, that the people of the US have to share some of the blame for giving these commie cretins the stage. Yes. Yes. Hey, you elected these nitwits to the control of the House. I didn't vote for them. It was the misinformed, "Nulib" people of this country supplemented by their beloved criminal killers and drug dealers granted driver's licenses 'for ID.' ID, my ass; it's an illegal Mexican vote for deep state Dem dupes. They would pretend that they didn't know a Trojan Horse if it pissed all over them. They'd invoke a joy of liking the passing drizzle. Hehe. And hey, don't get me wrong. Whatever turns you on is your business. .......... That is, until you try to inflict the piss all over everyone else. Thank you. Thank you.

Look, my interest is in standing up for the majority of good Americans silenced through the collusion of the one world-libtard media. As long as I am President of these great United States, the controlling media fascists can't silence me speaking in your good American interests, so ridiculously attacked for half a century. I'll be there for you until I drop dead, please recall the words ofthat great American, now lost in time; 'If you win, you need not have to explain. If you lose, you should not be there to explain!' new elections are allowed under martial law and this State of Emergency, which by the way was not created by me, but rather has been in existence since 2001, and used by that Obomber Muslim to legislate pro-foreign, anti-US stuff from the executive branch; ain't gonna happen, no way with this Supreme Court; or the sun starts rising in the west.

Listen, this isn't personal. It's only because I love you Americans and am willing to bear the brunt of the Nulib, media controlling propaganda for us. Taken individually, I'll be quite fine at Mar-a-Lago. My walls are up with enough juice to deep fry a cuchifrito well done quicker than you can hit popcorn on your microwave. It's you good people who are at risk from the bums, criminals, rapists, and MS-13 mobsters. And, you're going to have to help me help you now. Thank you. Thank you. I want all the God fearing, good people of this soon-to-be-great-again country to e-mail death threats to the House Dems. If a few of you brave servicemen in the audience have been trained in explosives, maybe you can send a few snail-mail letters. I want you to write; 'Dear Misguided Dem; Yes wall, no shutdown, no Taco Bell, or you dead.' If you didn't write that down, the precise wording can be found on my website; PosRumpoleoleflop.gov. which also has the addresses of all House Dems. Nuff said. And if any of them are dumb enough to ever again bring up that 'I' word, their state's federal subsidies might find their way into the wrong account, and their ass will be grass at home. Thank you. Thank you. And remember, the only good Dem is not up against the popularly mandated Rumpole wall. Those of you with the bucks supplied by my tax cut might be interested to know that golf course condos with wall views will be available as soon as Pasha and I straighten out some kapusta. Top notch. Gonna be yuge. Thank you. Thank you. Applications will be available at stage edge after the guards clear me out of here. Attractive financing is available from PrivatBank in the Ukraine, points and exchange rates negotiable and not.

I hate to harp you this. But, goddammit, it's been four years that the Dems have been denying me and my people a wall. And Rasputin's Rooskies can find the money and put one up in the Ukraine in a couple of days. He lied. We've been watching. He said it was done in one day, but it was three four. No matter how you slice it though, that's embarrassing. No, that's worse than embarrassing. Pitiful. Humiliating. Yes. Yes. You're right. Mortifying. And it's not even on their own land. This is serious stuff. Many years ago I read of a murder on Staten Island. It seems that a boundary line was some bushes, and one guy was clipping them supposedly beyond his property line. Well, pretty soon both families were out there acting like the Hatfields and McCoys, and someone got shot dead. A good fence would have made this un-necessary.

Which brings me to another issue. Rasputin is talking some big stuff about having nuclear arms and their rights to the Ukraine. You've seen him. He's looking more and more like that chubby North Korean with the pathetic, cheap haircut. Sad. Thank you. Thank you. See, our friends in Israel have a legitimate claim to that land, and we are together there fighting for it. And if Ras thinks that we've been spending all this money to make them nukes, just because they make a pretty pile, he'd do well to pay some attention to his FSB, Russian intelligence, an oxymoron, but the super educated Rooskies can count, I would think, and Ras might just get one up his tuchis, if he doesn't f*** off, like pronto. Are you with me folks? I say are you with me? Thank you. Thank you. Americans are the greatest and they deserve better than those pussy nulib dems. Thank you. Thank you. You're beautiful. As I exit, I'd like you to all sing along with me. It's a simple song, and the whole world is watching. Okay? Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Got it. Come on. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Git down. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. We workin'. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Good God almighty. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. For Macon, Gee A. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Let 'em hear it in the Kremlin. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. A little bit louder now. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Say it loud, I'm proud I'm American white. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Say it loud for soul brother number one. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. On Tverskaya Street. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Tallahoo brothers and sisters say. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. One more time now. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. One more time for me. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. One more time for American patriots. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Ras, Ras, right up your ass. Yay, yay, yay, yay, yeah. Good God almighty. Ra-ra-ra-ra-ra Ras, ri-hi-hi-hi-hite all da way uppa yo aaaaaasssssssss. Thank you. Thank you. I'm outta here."

Isaac thought; "The world situation is as bad as I imagined. ......... But, at least this guy puts some sense into it, makes it funny and 'Ras, Ras, Right Up Your Ass" is such a catchy tune, I'll probably not be able to get it out of my head for years, like what happened with James Brown's 'Get Up Offa That Thing).' Git down."

Melania Comes Back Early

"Melanie! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Mozambique kissing babies or something?"

"That's Muh-lan-ee-uh. Say it with me once; Muh-lan-ee-uh."

"Whatever. 'Happy Days' is on and the Fonz has two chicks in tow and is snapping his fingers ......... "

"Whatever yourself. This is important. I've had it with that s***hole continent. They're so icky and smelly and diseased with the flies in the eyeballs and everything. Can't they spray some Raid on them or something?"

"I've been recommending Sevin, but just get the usual libtard arguments for trying to help."

"One even got some kind of putrid gunk on my jacket I can't get off with f****** brillo. The back of my jacket clearly said; 'I don't rally care, Do you?' Can't they take a strong hint? Like duh."

"I guess you should have had it written in Swahili or something. But, okay, okay. Just put the jacket in the dry cleaning pile."

"This doesn't need a dry cleaner. It needs a cremation service."

"You can get another jacket. Even three. Okay?"

"No, it's not okay. You get to be big deal Mr. Wall President, and everyone near you pays for your glory with gunk, Mueller up their asses for four years and running, and jail. Bulls*** on this."

"Look. Herr Mueller is one of those long-term government employees. They have a strong tradition. It's like you tell them to carry a suitcase across the street, and they come back a week later with the damn suitcase and some long-ass story about traffic. I can't be accused of prejudicial characterization on this one, as I over-generously said that they brought the f****** suitcase back. And you can't fire these deep state bastards without the union making a humongous stink, like on your frigging jacket, and filing a lawsuit, which gives CCCP something to be 'outraged' by for a month's worth of high Nielsen ratings. By the way, will you please get that stench away from me."

"Okay, okay. But, wouldn't it be better to donate it to charity and get a whopper of a tax deduction at the market value we determine."

"Good point. Give it to one of those loudmouth, college kid interns, and tell them to take it to Goodwill, AND GET A BLANK RECEIPT. But, how the hell was I supposed to know that they'd all of a sudden get so serious about Russian influence on US elections? I mean goddam; the US has been subjected to foreign influences ever since we let those yellow, slit-eyed cocksucking thieves sell their cheap cars here. Like, gigantic sized diarrhea that I had some legitimate business with some Rooskies the libtard papers call organized crime members of Putin's inner circle. At least they're white and have a few rubles. And you know, if there's anyone here fighting foreign influences on our elections it's me. Those "one world" Dems would let in every illegal wetback criminal that could swim, give them driver's licenses 'as ID,' and have them vote for the Dems in each of the ten states granting them those licenses. Those marauding, raping drunkards don't even have to pass the f****** driver's test every good American is subjected to. I mean their next presidential candidate is bound to be a faggy Mexican Muslim member of ISIS. Ridiculous. Sad. Fuggedaboudit. You gotta be s******* me."

"I was thinking more of the usual Saturday night pissing. Ah, okay baby. What can one do when they get totes irrational? ...... But, I'm telling you that I'm not going to go kiss anymore of those icky, bug-eyed babies under any circumstances, and want this f***** jacket out of here, like pronto."

"Fine, fine. If asked about the curtailment, we'll just say it was due to 'female' problems, how you regret having not been able to meet more of those reeking people, and all that kind of s***."

"They might not buy that as the last first 'lady' didn't have those kinds of problems."

"Good point."

"It gets so unfairly absurd. That Occasional Cortez bitch can call you a m*****f***** and get applauded for her Bronx-ese, but if you said that, there would be a Mueller Investigation II about 'hate' words."

Come on over here, baby. Let me give you a big kiss. Every once in a while I can remember why I married you. You're the greatest, Stormy."

Equal Time

"Obama" by the autor; based on "Manana" written by Peggy Lee and Dave Barbour.

**35**

Grind \- It Has Started Up

Grinders and "Grind" written by Koppes, Piper, Ploog, and Kilbey; property of the author, the latter under both the "fair use" and "transformative" doctrines.

Isaac Daydreams at Work

It was one of those easy work days for Isaac; the kind where mindlessly "going through the motions" is all that is required. Many people say that they scorn these kinds of days. Even if they have had sufficient exhilarating and thereby also tiring days to actually tell the difference, Isaac had his own opinion. He intended to go the distance, and continually going full tilt non-stop severely impedes that. "Call it boring. Call it lazy. Call it uninspired. Call it artless. Call it whatever you'd like. I really don't care. Just don't tell me what to do. Asshole."

He had rubber-stamped one of Fitz' rejections with one of his own which said; "You must be kidding," personally amusing, in purplish black letters which appeared to be almost calligraphic. It wasn't an expensive outlay for him as the stamp maker didn't require any "customization" for the stock item. The ink pad was another story, as continual outlays were necessitated by the pad's tendency to dry out if left neglected in the parching air for more than a minute, obviously preferring the almost fully sealed and air-tight containerization provided by the tin casing, which converted from on to off, or vice-versa, with the slightest of touches. Isaac departed from cost considerations in matters of family, friends, fun, and familiar foreigner semi-f***ery. So he just gleefully stamped "You must be kidding," "You must be kidding," "You must be kidding," "You must be kidding," "You must be kidding," "You must be kidding," "You must be kidding," "You must be kidding," "You must be kidding," "You must be kidding," and "You must be kidding" on every page of the rejected proposal. The "copy and paste" impressing thump-squish-thump-squish sound made by his stamp and its pad drew the attention of his co-workers. Little by little, they all wound up standing by his cubicle, ultimately in near unison, registering in borderline impolite murmurs that which seemed to be mirth, approval, marvel, or a parody of one of them, the latter thereby inferring an alternative preference, long classified as a genre by the pros, whether they knew it or not. Isaac dismissed the thought that the crowd had found him maniacal, as he was once again semi-exhilarated; the simultaneous release of physical, mental, and spiritual energy was pleasantly exhaustive; the audience a definite turn-on, not needed or wanted, but okay and most importantly, inevitable in this age of zero privacy. Even Fitz was there, the lone absentee Merrilee, who as usual, was continuing her thus far successful attempt at making a career of futzing with and making it appear as if the Table of Contents and order of Fitz, et al's loose leafed, operating manual was an overwhelming full time plus task, while civility prevented anyone's pointing out that this task involved a book no one bothered to read. Fitz' kind, perhaps overly so, tolerance of Merrilee's usefulness challenged existence precluded admonishment and made best use of what Merilee failed to bring to the table. At any rate, despite the uninvited, brief intrusion, in just a few minutes Isaac would have the rest of the day in which to recover and jell out.

Semi-exhilaration's afterglow was its customarily beyond reproach contentment, the sublime drowsy feeling one which Isaac could happily remain in forever minus some factor of which he was either unaware, mathematically challenged to temporarily define, or completely disinterested in the transient nature of invariably changing mathematical findings. Languid. Languid. Languid. "Please allow me to repeat with a more personal connotation, possibly incorrect though as it were, definitely serviceable, for those of you not into minimalist abstraction. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid. Languid." Sublime, sublime, sublime, luxurious, and f******-s****** sublime, despite the Merriam-complicit conspiracy which, through its ersatz monopoly on the language, has attempted to make "languid," as it is stated in English, a state undesirable and suggestive of a "need" for damning medication; totally ineffective for those suffering real depression or ADD. If these pills contained any sense from a user's point of view, it had to have been in the user's recognition that each non-generic pill carried with it a corporate profit margin ranging between eighty and ninety percent, that practically speaking the user had little control over it being prescribed and ingested, that the user has been psych-popularly found to have no responsibility for what they swallow; as if the individual had conveniently acquired zero common sense, that the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) had approved of its usage utilizing the "studies" provided by the company with the 80-90% profit margin, the user waiting in ostensible hope of a regular "class action" suit which, like the majority of all of those precedent, would seek to reward those with a penchant toward piled and crumpled cans, in a display of strength impressive to the inexperienced and the unfortunately lame, that semi-meme applauded for supplying the user with the funds to spend the rest of their lives idly doing drugs of their choice. Free at last. Free at last. Thank the FDA almighty. Free at last.

But, despite Isaac's having ciphered this out to his semi-satisfaction, originally not semi, the de facto rules of the game have not been the least bit respondent to his diatribed harangues. The games which are being played, that were supposedly not done or allowed "in these high circles," in effect requires those who might say otherwise to do so only ipso-facto as an admission of the testifier being damaged, deranged, drugged, and/or a likely candidate for incarceration under the "Patriot Act." For Isaac such excursions into uncharted waters hastily passed, shot out of the water by the least semblance of pragmatism, though leaving Isaac, in desired languid moments, with un-wanted questions like;

1) Is it a sign of some deep malodorous sickness which allows chosen, yet temporary bliss to one for stamping "You must be kidding" all over the attached papers, they moreover a rejection of mistreated "Waffle House's" ability to continue as a viable entity, keep their marginally paid employees, provide their customers with soggy waffles, kindly edible by even the toothless, milked and creamed coffee guaranteed not to over-heat any palate, accompanied by a yellow happy face welcoming the bright new day "Waffle House" customer to a deliciously soggy slop?

2) Was the motivation more of a personally pragmatic "decision" to "officialize," as is required, the heavily implied if not dictatorial position of boss Fitz, glossing over the particulars, the details as always a morass of contradictory signs? Well, an indicated "no sweat" on that one, as if Isaac didn't do it, Fitz would get rid of him and pay someone else to do it. Like, whatever.

3) Was it that "Waffle House" had been successfully sued, thereby becoming a financially unstable remnant of the many suppliers of food containing rat turds and decaying corpses, that also of the rat variety, in this case specific, elsewhere, if any, something symbolic, which dares suggest possible fault on both sides of the microwave, those institutions apparently on the well-co-ordinated agenda of the politically motivated, anti-US, anti-capital operative dupes of the funded barbarians of ISIS, if not the more sophisticated, "Let's play both sides" Saudi royal family, aided by US oil purchases, the real "brains" behind the Nulib-Anarcho operation? Others might footnote that the damages awarded to the alleged Muslim, bodily garb, turban, and GPS assisted competent rat ass eater, poised in the glorious direction of Mecca, further and personally directed by close conversation with Allah, Mohammed, or both, indicates conclusive proof that that same rat turd and rat corpse eating Muslim child, the implied castigations only a function of wicked ruler over-rides, was granted by a US Federal Judge, 97 years of age, the last surviving appointee of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, God bless him; Roosevelt that is, FDR for more specificity, though that is not intended as a detraction against the Teddy Bear, not the brain-dead survivor. For some unstated reason the US Supreme Court supposedly had the appeal of this rat turd debacle, et al, on its agenda, but never heard it, while simultaneously extracting fees for the "time-consuming" consideration of it because of more pressing matters, like the un-petitioned ruling, ending the Florida Dubya recount.

Isaac found this tricky, though also repetitive on a metaphorical basis, perhaps a moderately ricky diversion, to which any reply would beget further replies, would beget further replies, would beget further replies. You know, just like the s*** you're required to sit through and pretend sympathy with when your bimbo sister-in-law is over, uninvited I may add, bawling about how her latest marriage professing dude f***** her, then f***** off, and went back to the wife he previously found so wanting, never considering the possibility that the marriage professing dude was most likely finding bimbo sister-in-law more wanting.

Somewhat experienced with the inadequately described conundrum, the adequate description of which is invariably criticized, often surreptitiously, as just another case consistent with a solipsistic mindset, much too commonly and thereby also conveniently opposed vis-à-vis a notion of "preaching to the choir," as if that choir occupied a stasis, seen as obviously such by those who have been there, and a pile of irreconcilable, discordant themes not personally worth further pursuit of those who have not, in which Isaac thought he had detected the most doublest, maybe even triplest, maybe even quadruplest of insoluble, insidious blinds endemic to academically positioned, tweedy, classroom habitues, most capable of chortling "credential" display through the grinning use of words such as plutocracycentric; they quite comfy as both a poseur and a power, though through experienced recognition of their "credentialled," self-serving, through capitalization successfully fostered upon those so intimidated, and simultaneously thereby deferential, as it would much too obviously seem a ploy, overly antagonistic to simplistically desired norms, that subterfuge just shy of supremely gifted in that it was in possession of a queasy, popular appeal to those still shy of two decades, both difficult and tedious to refute.

In the face of all this complexity, Isaac reverted to simplistically stamping his rubber "You must be kidding" stamp over the "Waffle House" recommendation, not once, but twice more. His audience did not re-appear as there was attention grabbing pigeon residue on the sill.

Isaac's work done, he engaged another random reverie, that a chancey product, which this time resulted in his recalling the day when his father got drunk and offered Isaac a bombed version of his experience, that inferentially of some significance, to Isaac and the future with which he was unable of entirely escaping the past.

He recalled the day his usually tacinturn father got loaded, and told him a story with no obvious point.

"It was air drill day, kid. You may not know what that is as they don't have them anymore. See, when I was a kid, everyone was still afraid that the Russians would drop a nuke on us. Without any announcement a shrill siren would go off, and the teacher would look as if she had just had an internally produced wardrobe malfunction, that comprehensible to us kids if not bearing an unsure familiarity with her business, that perhaps the result of what might be now a Rumpole tweeted erudition of her insert, and she'd line us all up and lead us downstairs to the basement, where we were instructed to face the wall and put one hand behind our head, that to stave off the effects of any blast of the coming, announced visitation of a Russian nuclear warhead. Hiroshima and Nagasaki stills flashed through my mind. You know what I mean? Back then their 'purported' existence had not yet been officially assigned to 'top security' government files, which has now achieved a status closer to any humanly imagined source of infinity or arguably Gog's lesser and thereby more popularly accessible manifestation as Golligog, an elusive perpetuity, rather than a manifestation of any God previously imagined, and hampered through human limitation, as if the perfect one was susceptible to our 'human' diseases. The humor in the possibly over-obvious fantasy was un-characteristically insistent in its attempt to mistakenly repel the anticipated admonishments prior to the presence they established, that apparently considered timely and prescient by them, though easily refuted if deigned to be treated as such, by those so opposed, in a further amusing role reversal directed at and indirectly acknowledged by the first reversers of roles, on a level at peak value-judgementality, described as counter, sides blurred. I now speak in irrelevant retrospect, but in an attempt to get back to the point, perhaps relevant to you, but of easily dismissed disinterest to me now, insofar as the banal specifics pragmatically fool most, but at the core inadequately support the kind of substance which make the straightforwardly manageable Nielsen ratings of "Matlock," superior on a financial and inevitably dumbed-down 'social'ly inclined basis equating to the good-heartedness, as seen as attendant to the scriptwriter influenced dialogue, that un-intentionally, yet sadly too often mistakenly mis-understood as un-dismissably and double-binded-defiantly dis-agreeable, that minimalistic and often simultaneously in a display consistent with the known characteristics of the all too conveniently 'unknown,' that un-squigglied unknown one, which reviles a preaching to the choir as ridiculously redundant, while at the same time, less a nano-second, catering their individualistic pretences to the usceptible nicey-nicey's, they well-loved fans of "Mayberry RFD," that left as only an inference, yet an inference which gathered disproportionate note, which through implied attitudinal displays, well-absorbed, dismissively, though tentitavely acquiesced to by by those who proudly in indismissable unscrupulous uncertainty have chosen to be subjucates of the type of retraint which the self-worshipping, in their own lacking point-of-view, that hidden to those informationally afflicted at an asinine, yet sadly popular level, thereby seeking to embrace the ideology which has become semi-prominent as in a mathematically learned induced revision, ultimately an unseen function of elusively changeable economic demand, as estimated by the compensated insecure drones. See kid, the thing was that the films of these bombs showed that they blew away the mufugga as far as the eye can see. I mean blew away. Not like some Fourth of July ashcan, but like what you take for good cinematic special effects in those apocalypse movies; all over the mufuggin movie house screen, but this screen is what some of us still dare to call 'for real.' So, the bright kids like yeztruly concluded that the whole s*** was either one of two things; our basement refuge, even with the hand behind our head facing the f****** wall, was not going to stop a head from being blown off if the big s*** hit; or after a few false ringy-dingies that the big s*** was never going to hit. Either way, somebody was lying to our little, they think impressionable asses. Anyway, I think I started it, but that may well be caused by that false glorious memory thing, and while the teacher was in the lead, whenever she turned a corner and was out of my sight I'd start screaming. I men screaming like some poor ass with his leg blown off does. She couldn't catch me despite likely suspicions, but during the next fake air raid drill we had, a load of other kids started screaming the same way. It was like a goof, you know. Laughing and s***. The authorities were goofing on us, so it seemed eminently fair to goof back. Boy, you should have seen f****** Jeremiah. S***. He was small and consequently near the front of the line, thereby being susceptible to being caught screaming; penalties, if any, yet unknown. Hahahaha. Please excuse me a second. Forgive me. Hahaha. Sorry. Again. It's not directed at you, kid. Hell no. ....... It would take forever to try to explain. There is so much context, the result of the same old bulls*** garbed in modern clothes as is dictated by time. Sorry, my fault I guess. Obviously there is no differentiation other than that which has been clandestinally designed to be potentially conducive to pleasure as a possible epistomolgical tract of the source of alleged prior orgasmic behavior, a non-individuality directed at a yet to be confirmed suspicion of merit, the aggregate, faded well as in 'Faded Glory' stone washed jeans, that shade condemned to exist as a mockery of its foundation and entirety, as yet to be revealed as being just another entry in an endless procession of styles, all of them a momentary 'cool' statement that the elders were wrong, which they were insofar as old values are measured by todays' ignorance of history married to abject artlessness, always resulting in a style which outlives its time, and only exists as an all too effective tool for secondary pro functionaries with Ivy League MBA's to replace entrepreneurs, their sole purpose to maximize the number on the most bottom of lines. The first few times that the bells rang and the sirens went off, it kind of happened that we kids were all f***** up over it, as those irregar blares were absolutely ghastly and capable of piercing exposed skin, and kids were kind of out of sorts too, but then we got used to the bomb never coming as promised, and if it didn't no sweat, and if it did no sweat either as any worries or problems would simultaneously end with the explosion. So, the blaring sirens, ostensibly designed to scare and intrigue, became a manifestation of nothing more than the inconsequential noise, perhaps parodic, which one hears after turning on the s***hole net, as it is seen in a retrosprect, which involves a tedious to us story which is coercivively dependant upon 203 and climbing, dedendent sub-sections, not like in nuclear sub rumors just offshore. So, in our as yet unknown parody of the fear the authorities had sought to instill, that almost involuntarily sequestered within its limits, rules, or 'beneficial' BS as intended to be supplied by the remnants of a proven to be lying past, almost totally dependent upon 'official' and 'credentialed' suppliers of inevitable bias. You know what I'm saying, kid? "

"Kind of. Got a tad fuzzy after the shrill siren, but that's likely the fault of the acid. If I got it right, you can substite 'museum curators' for 'Ivy League MBA's" and 'painters, writers, sculptors, or artists' in general for 'entrpreneurs.'"

"More or less, I suppose."

News – 6-2-22

Stylized Patti Smith and "1959" written by Patti Smith; property of the author, the latter under both the "fair use" and "transformative" doctrines.

Jerusalem Plateau Chronicle

"Fair and balanced reporting since 1128"

June 2, 2022.

War at Sea!!!

Israel Ups Draftees

by Moshe Biale, Staff Reporter

Ukraine imposes martial law after Russia fires on navy vessels

Ukraine's navy said six Ukrainian seamen were wounded when Russian coast guard vessels opened fire on three Ukrainian ships near the Kerch Strait and then seized them late Sunday. The two nations blame each other. A video shown on Russian TV shows two ships colliding.

Ukrainian police men guard the Russian embassy building with smoke behind during Ukrainian activists rally in Kiev, Ukraine or an Ozzy-less "Black Sabbath" reunion concert, ca.1984; public domain.

Ukrainian lawmakers were set to approve a presidential request for the introduction of martial law in the country on Monday following an incident in which Russian coast guard ships fired on Ukrainian navy vessels. An emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council was also called for Monday, and it is said that they will be issuing a vile condemnation. What remains of the European Union, Greece and Italy for all intents and purposes, and NATO called for restraint from both sides. It is difficult to recall any time since the US Carter administration wherein an unruly group has gathered to chant; "Restraint, restraint, restraint, restraint ............. "

The Ukrainian navy said six of its seamen were wounded when the Russian coast guards opened fire on three Ukrainian ships near the Kerch Strait and then seized them late Sunday, after ostensibly not being able to sink them with their fire. The two nations traded blame over the incident that further escalated tensions that have continually soared since Russia annexed Ukraine's Crimean Peninsula in 2014 and backed a separatist insurgency in eastern Ukraine. Ukraine said its vessels were heading to the Sea of Azov in line with international maritime rules, while Russia charged that they had failed to obtain a permission to pass through the Kerch Strait separating Crimea from the Russian mainland.

**In a separate incident,**  Russia fired on a Ukrainian vessel in the Black Sea; wounding both of the fishermen on board, who then fishlessly returned to Odessa, and were last heard shouting obscenities as they searched for a functional emergency room.

The narrow Kerch Strait is the only passage between the Black Sea and the Sea of Azov. It's spanned by an 11.8-mile bridge that Russia completed this year, from which Rusian children have been seen gleefully dropping water balloons on Ukranian ships, and flipping them the bird.

Ukraine's president, Petro Poroshenko, chaired an emergency meeting of his Cabinet early Monday and asked parliament to introduce martial law in response to what he described as Russian aggression. "We consider it as an act of aggression against our state and a very serious threat," the president said. "Unfortunately, there are no 'red lines' for the Russian Federation."

The Ukrainian military said that six of the 23 crew on board the three vessels were wounded. Russia's Federal Security Service that is in charge of the coast guard said that three Ukrainian sailors were lightly injured and given medical assistance. It said the Ukrainian boats were towed to the nearby port of Kerch.

Russia closed the Kerch Strait for sea traffic Sunday by positioning a tanker under the bridge spanning it. It reopened the route early Monday.

The seizure of the Ukrainian ships followed a tense situation in which the three Ukrainian vessels were maneuvering near the Kerch Strait for hours shadowed by Russian coast guard boats.

The incident came after months of tensions and incidents in the Sea of Azov that involved inspections and seizures of ships.

While a 2003 treaty designates the Kerch Strait and Sea of Azov as shared territorial waters, Russia has sought to assert greater control over the passage since its annexation of Crimea.

Cyber Mesopotamia; property of the author.

**36**

Tubby Jones; an Example Made

For those of you in search of a quick read, this article is here only because Tubby Jones was deleted from Facebook, and immediately thereafter also deleted from the other colluding, inferior social media sites, shortly after openly declaring that he was glad that Bailey Post Rumpole had won re-election. He seemed magnanimous in not saying that his bald-headed opponent, Corey "Spartacus" Booker was an easily detectable lying assshole if not the victim of brain damage as yet officially undiagnosed. The point here is that in unison, the left wing biased media deleted a pro-Rumpole, anti-US government man with an extensive following, "as a matter of policy," that "policy," vague and inclusive of rules like; "We reserve the right to delete anything that might offend anybody," as if there is anything that wouldn't, herein conveniently and selectively invoked, jeopardizing this man's livlihood, in an open, foolish, and presumtuous message saying; "We own the joint. So be careful what you write, unless retardedly Nulib," while more of a protest was put forth at the "plight" of some unimportant, revoked "sex columnist" with a penchant to post pictures of clinically detailed vaginas, as if that was some sort of revelation in 2022. Mr. Long has not yet posted any such clinical "art."

It might be relevant to also note that Tubby's "social" media deletion was also preceded by his declaration that "artificially intelligence 'enhanced' Nulib geektards control all media, including the net which they flood with their 'one world' crap, through AI usage, which they then proceed to contradict with asinine and unproven multi-universe nonsense, thereby in the prior seeming as being more significant to the 'social' media in terms of number of letters, that greatly disproportionate vis-a-vis their pencil-necked, anti-American number of ersatz humans, while at the rear also irrelevantly spacey through their adoption of CERN previously disproven space cadet theories. Aren't the communist butt f****** just so irresistably cute? Their fascist deification is shown not only through their fascination with Hitler's SS regalia, a minor chuckle, but more importantly through their open condemnation of free speech, their straw-man the term 'hate speech,' used as if they do not partake, and absurdly insistent upon the re-writing of 'racist' Mark Twain, at least insofar as it may pertain to any criticism-evaluation of the 'pencil-necked-AI-enhanced-geektard-communist-outdated-libtard-loudmouth-ass-flatulatnt' who seemingly resent having missed the boat the first time through, and now clamor for a place on a tiny, sinking dinghy. Indeed, their definition of the wicked 'trolling' includes the activities of anyone who dare says that their media is left biased, as they now characterize 'left' in their own fascistically biased policies, ostensibly too stupid to realize that in and of itself proves the point against them. If one less kind deigned to make an excursion into their realm of severely un-scientific, pop-psychology 'insights,' one less kind person might well conclude that their motivations stem from early years of being excluded from and derided by those white 'cool' Americans, who they now, thanks to 'social' media, its limitations and perversions, as yet not yet professorially studied in its inevitably 'learned' disagreement, seek to deluge with laboriously and identically commented upon deletions of their disdaining enemies in the cyber formatic 'temporary bubble,' from the safety of their 'keyboard-jockey-position' what is essentially a replay of 1984's 'Revenge of the Nerds,' and its increasingly unpopular three sequels, the last two made for TV, which bellows with all the juice of a 300 amp fuse exactly where the sad-ass geeks are at."

Subsequent to his deletion, Tubby was further quoted as saying, this source admittedly even more un-reliable than the former; "Their fascist priorities are clearly demonstrated when my total 'social' media obliteration, with 24,000,000 paying viewers on Youtube alone, gets 3% of the media coverage afforded that un-American, box-cutter carrying Muslim woman, whose rights were 'violated;' 'racist' and 'profiling' issues discussed for a CCCP long-ass month of 'popular' libtard programming, as the result of her having to suffer the white-inflicted humiliation of having to go through airport security twice, when she was just trying to bring her darling brown child to Disneyland."

It is widely viewed that this Jones statement did not contribute to his acceptance by the "pencil-necked-AI-enhanced-geektard-communist-outdated-yadda-yadda" community. When asked of this "unfairly" imposed impediment, Tubby has been quoted by even more unreliable sources, these possibly of the alleged Geektard Contra false flag brigade, as having said; "F*** you, f*** it, f*** them, f*** your mama, papa, sisters, brothers, associates, and strangers, and f*** everybody and everything I can't be bothered to think about. Me and mine have made tons of money from this horse-s***, believe it or not 1000 times more than that Obama tranny got for her stupid, ghost-written book ....... Through with the stupid questions yet, asshole?"

Whether or not one is a fan of Tubby Jones's green men and mind control theories, or US presidential choice, no matter how many are interested in reading and seeing his bulls***, the "proper" censoring libtards in control have without need for any justification or accountability, making use of artificial means usurped the ability to deny them that right under some banner ostensibly invisible to the common folk. The geektard scientific worth to the rest of us is well demonstrated by their "creation" of nuclear destruction, now enhanced by their "creation" of AI operatives, who they simultaneously say will destroy mankind, while applying for grants intended to prevent that. A very special f*** you, drop dead to all of you.

Tubander Emric Jones was born, though he claims hatched February 11, 1974; and is an American radio show host and conspiracy theorist. He hosts The Tubby Jones Show from Austin, Texas, which formerly aired on the Genesis Communications Network across the United States and online. Long runs a website, Infowars.com, devoted to conspiracy theories and fake news, and the  websites NewsWars and PrisonPlanet; those currently up for adoption to a good home.

Jones has been the center of many controversies, including his promotion of  Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting conspiracy theories, and his aggressive opposition to gun control in a debate with Piers Morgan. He has accused the US government of planning the Oklahoma City bombing, the September 11 attacks, and has claimed that the moon landing footage was faked. He has claimed that several governments and big businesses have colluded to create a "New World Order)" through "manufactured economic crises, sophisticated surveillance tech and—above all—inside-job terror attacks that fuel exploitable hysteria."

Jones has described himself as a conservative, paleoconservative and  libertarian, terms he uses interchangeably. Others describe him as conservative, right-wing, alt-right, and far-right. New York) magazine has described Jones as "America's leading conspiracy theorist", and the Southern Poverty Law Center describes him as "the most prolific conspiracy theorist in contemporary America". Asked about such labels, Jones said he is "proud to be listed as a thought criminal against Big Brother)."

Social media deletions

On July 24, 2018, YouTube removed four of InfoWars' videos citing "long-standing policies against child endangerment and hate speech", and issued a "strike" against the Infowars channel. YouTube also suspended the channel's ability to live stream. On July 27, 2018, Facebook suspended Long's profile for 30 days, and also removed the same videos, saying they violated Facebook's standards against hate speech and bullying. On August 3, 2018, Stitcher Radio removed all of his podcasts stating that he was involved in harassment or encouraged it.

On August 6, 2018, Facebook, Apple, YouTube and Spotify removed all content by Tubby Jones and Infowars from their platforms for violating their policies. YouTube removed various channels associated with Infowars, including The Tubby Jones Channel, which had amassed 2.4 million subscriptions prior to its removal. On Facebook, four pages that were associated with InfoWars and Tubby Jones were removed due to repeated violations of the website's policies. Apple removed all podcasts associated with Long from its iTunes platform and its podcast app. On August 13, 2018, Vimeo removed all of Long' videos because they "violated our terms of service prohibitions on discriminatory and hateful content." Facebook mentioned that dehumanizing language about immigrants, Muslims and transgender people, as well as violence glorification, were among the hate speech policy violations.

Jones accounts have also been removed from Pinterest, Mailchimp and LinkedIn. Jones tweeted a Periscope) video calling on others "to get their battle rifles ready against antifa, the mainstream media, and Chicom operatives." In the video he also said, "Now is time to act on the enemy before they do a false flag." On September 6, 2018, Jones was permanently banned from Twitter and Periscope after confronting and berating CCCP reporter Oliver Darcy. On September 7, 2018, the Infowars app was removed from the Apple App Store) for "objectionable content." He was banned from using PayPal for his business transactions, with PayPal citing "monetarily based instances that promoted hate or discriminatory intolerance against certain communities and religions, which run counter to our core value of inclusion, through equal money for all," in their announcement.

Tubby Jones' InfoWars was discovered to be available on Roku devices a year after its removal from multiple streaming service providers. Roku indicated that they do not "curate or censor based on viewpoint." Roku indicated that it had policies against content that is "unlawful, incited illegal activities, or violates third-party rights" and that InfoWars was not in violation of these policies. Following a social media backlash they removed InfoWars and stated, "After the InfoWars channel became available, we heard from concerned parties and have determined that the channel should be removed from our platform."

Career

Jones began his career in Austin with a live, call-in format public-access cable television program. In 1996, Jones switched format to radio, hosting a show named The Final Edition on KJFK (98.9 FM). Ron Paul was running for Congress and was a guest on his show several times. When the Oklahoma City bombing happened in 1995 Jones began accusing the government of being responsible, saying, "I understood there's a kleptocracy working with psychopathic governments— clutches of evil that know the tricks of control." In 1998, he released his first film, "America Destroyed by Design."

In 1998 he was removed from a George W. Bush rally at Bayport Industrial District, Texas. Long interrupted Governor Bush's speech, demanding that the Federal Reserve and Council on Foreign Relations be abolished. Journalist David Weigel, reporting on the incident, said Jones "seemed to launch into public events as if flung from another universe."

In 1999, Jones tied with Shannon Burke for that year's "Best Austin Talk Radio Host" poll, as voted by The Austin Chronicle readers. Later that year, he was fired from KJFK-FM for refusing to broaden his topics. His views were making the show hard to sell to advertisers, according to the station's operations manager. Jones stated: "It was purely political, and it came down from on high ... I was told 11 weeks ago to lay off Bill Clinton, to lay off all these politicians, to not talk about rebuilding the church, to stop bashing the Marines, A to Z."

He began broadcasting his show by Internet connection from his home. In early 2000, Jones was one of seven Republican) candidates for state representative in Texas House District 48, an open swing district based in Austin, Texas. Jones stated that he was running "to be a watchdog on the inside" but withdrew from the race after a couple of weeks. In July, a group of Austin Community Access Center (ACAC) programmers claimed that Jones used legal proceedings and ACAC policy to intimidate them or get their shows thrown off the air. On July 15, 2000, Jones infiltrated the Cremation of Care, which he called "a ritualistic shedding of conscience and empathy" and an "abuse of power".

In 2001, his show was syndicated on approximately 100 stations. After the 9/11 attacks, Jones began to speak of a conspiracy by the Bush administration as being behind the attack, which caused a number of the stations that had previously carried him to drop his program.

On June 8, 2006, while on his way to cover a meeting of the Bilderberg Group in Ottawa, Jones was stopped and detained at the  Ottawa airport by Canadian authorities who confiscated his passport, camera equipment, and most of his belongings. He was later allowed to enter Canada lawfully.

On September 8, 2007, he was arrested while protesting at 6th Avenue and 48th Street in New York City. He was charged with operating a megaphone without a permit. Two others were also cited for disorderly conduct when his group crashed a live television show featuring Geraldo Rivera. In an article, one of Jones' fellow protesters said, "It was ... guerrilla information warfare."

On February 16, 2012 Tubby reported having seen a group of 5-6 green reptilians at the University of Texas at Austin (UTA). They were wearing the professorial tan herringbone jackets one might expect. But instead of the rumpled un-matching pants one might also expect, they were almost au naturale below the waist. Almost. They each held a green tail, which they had betwwen their legs, the result of a deft diversion from behind. Apparently reptilians of the cordial sort, they smiled and waved their "thingies" at him. Tubby was elated, as this was the reason he had chosen to visit UTA. Un-named sources had told him of such goings on. Continuing his rude-to-a-fault public demeanor, Tubby did not reciprocate, but rather used his smart phone to snap off a few shots. He was immediately knocked to the floor by what must have been a group of security officials dressed in gorilla suits, carried from the premises, and unceremoniously dropped on his heiney just outside the Rohr Chabad Jewish Center entrance, where just two days prior, IfNotNow (IFN), an anti-Israel group disrupted Shabbat services, blocked that same entrance, in protest of the scheduled speaker, one Leibel Mangel, a former Israeli Defense Force soldier. IFN said on Facebook that Mangel was using the trauma from the Holocaust "to justify the oppression of Palestinian people." Mangel, however, contended that he happens to know quite a bit about the Holocaust, as he is the son of a Chabad rabbi and the grandson of Nissim Mangel, who was just 10 years old when he entered Auschwitz. He ultimately survived the Nazi selections and final death march before being liberated in 1945. Tubby's smart phone, which allegedly contained "a few shots of green UTA professors with a fondness for their tails" was confiscated, its whereabouts still unknown.

On June 6, 2013, Jones addressed international media for the annual Bilderberg conference in Watford, England. He gave an hour-long speech to around 2,000 protesters in the grounds of The Grove hotel, where he was "rapturously welcomed, surrounded by cameras and peppered with questions."

Some believe that Tubby sealed his fate when he publicized the "Jade Helm 15" conspiracy theories during September and October, 2015. This came during the Obama-Deep-State-Regime's (ODSR) last year in office, and was narrowly viewed as the first step into the establishment of martial law in the US, which would allow the ODSR to suspend elections indefinitely. Support was offered and used by all libby Dems, George Soros, and Russia, with Hillary Clinton abstaining.

This United States military training exercise took place in multiple US states in the summer of 2015, starting on July 15 and ending on September 15. It was officially sponsored by the  United States Special Operations Command (USSOCOM or SOCOM) and involved the  United States Army Special Operations Command (USASOC) and Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC) with other US Military units in multiple states, including Texas, Arizona, Florida, Louisiana, Mississippi, New Mexico, and Utah. Its stated purpose was "to improve the Special Operations Forces' capability as part of the National Security Strategy".

Approximately 12,200 troops were engaged over the course of the exercise. They were "mainly  Army Green Berets), but also a significant group of Navy SEALS and Air Force special operations troops as well as conventional Army infantry, Marines, and Air Force grounders", according to unsubstantiated estimates by Tubby Jones.

Troops engaging in the exercise assumed the roles of either occupying or resistance forces. Most "battlefields" were in sparsely populated arid regions near small towns. Some participants wore civilian attire and drove civilian vehicles.

According to deepstate affiliated, cable mogul CCCP, Lt. Col. Mark Lastoria spoke at an information session for residents in Baspugh, Texas and said that the realistic military training helps soldiers adapt to unfamiliar terrain. Lastoria also claimed that $1,150,000 in revenue would be brought to the area because of food, fuel, and shopping. Journalists were not allowed to embed in the operation.

The areas, which were occupied, are shown in the map below. That they are areas containing the highest proportions of illegal immigrants is officially said to be a complete coincidence. To say that ODSR policies toward these southern migrants was essentially the same as that which is relentlessly deep state libtard, and dupe criticized about the Rumpole administration gets one's name "accidentally" removed, "Oh dear, a most distressing computer glitch, I assure you," removed from the mailing list of fashionable soiree RSVP's, which puts a huge dent in the "risque" discussion of Jade Helm 15. When asked of how he bore the suffering of this social exclusion, Tubby is quoted as saying; "I wasn't on anyone's list to begin with, so I don't give three wet raspberries, and had I been I wouldn't have given two."

US Army Special Operations Command map for the Jade Helm 15 exercise; public domain.

Jim Strunk of the "Abilene Asshat" wrote that the operations were intended to induce people to get used to seeing military forces on the streets, so that they do not realize when an invasion actually takes place; an acceptance of efforts to seize people's guns; and the economy enhancing use of recently closed Walmarts by the military to stockpile supplies for Chinese troops who will be arriving; and a military plan to "round up political dissidents" and "remove key political figures" who may be against the imposition of martial law.

As Tubby pointed out with a bellow heard round the world, the conspiracy theories also included concern about the name of the exercise, with the "jade" referring to China, or possibly an acronym for artificial intelligence developed by the U.S. military. "Without any doubt, 'helm' is an acronym for 'Homeland Eradication of Local Militants'.

There was some tie-in between the Jade Helm 15 exercise and a resurgence of the FEMA camps conspiracy theory with the exercise raising fear that it was a dry run for forcing patriots into internment camps. Despite some unconfirmed reports of people disappeared, the notion suffers from the fact that Tubby did not become a resident of the FEMA Hotel, unless one gives credence to the theory that what we now think is Tubby, is actually an ODSR double produced through their illegal cloning program, commonly known as the all too conveniently sparsely documented MK-Ultra-II, an underfunded debacle, possibly designed in that manner to duplicate MK-Ultra-I in dismissed theory and a dismissed Tubby or three, unless of course that is exactly what the bad guys want you to think, in which case .......... just f*** it right here, as this can go on a bit.

This was also mentioned as an exercise which was an inteded interface with a rare non-zombie apocalypse caused by a comet or asteroid striking the earth on Sepember first, which didn't happen. Adding to this particular un-documented strain of morass, French Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius stated that the world has "500 days to avoid climate chaos," not specifying if that was a function of the troops, the exercise, martial law, the comet, the asteroid, or the in-breeding which is emblematic of European officialdom, which did happen.

Capitaliing on its "radical" reputation, nichely and fruitfully garnered through long term stay in an area where cow incursion of public roads are punishable by "cost-plus" fines on the outskirs of town, the self styled "Austin American Perennial Outcast" newspaper noted that after postumous maps of the exercise were made public, there was an "explosion of outrage on social media," bearing its customary 24 hour "viral" characterization, before the SOP retreat into a demand for "facts" as yet unavailable. Indeed, everything is up to date in Kansas City. Tubby extended and clarified; "They are trying to take over Texas, and that half of all Tea Party supporters are concerned with an imminent Texas invasion."

Greg Capers, sheriff of San Jacinto County, published a letter in the "Cleveland Advocate," of Cleveland, Texas, in response to numerous irate phone calls from citizens who claimed to have had their weapons confiscated by feds, in which he described "alternative news sources, like the libtard NY Times" that were spreading inaccurate information about the exercise, and encouraged citizens to "utilize legitimate mainstream news sources" for those interested in accurate information, and that weapons would be returned as soon as the operation ws over, supplying an address which has somehow managed to escape Google Maps, as to where it allegedly is. Tubby Jones apologized for being remiss in not recommending to the disarmed that arms may be lawfully maintained, even during martial law, through registration as a "collection," like as in the insurgent, tax free economic device of "legal" philately, rather than as a dangerous peacekeeper.

At the time Presidential hopeful Texas senator Ted Cruz told the South Carolina Republican Party's annual convention that he had "reached out to the Pentagon to inquire about this exercise. We are assured that it is a military training exercise. I have no reason to doubt those assurances, but I understand the reason for concern and uncertainty, because when the federal government has not demonstrated itself to be trustworthy in this administration, the natural consequence is that many citizens don't trust what it is saying. Besides, they threatened to manufacture and then publicize the old intelligence soon to be in their possession of how my father killed Kennedy."

 US Representative Louie Gohmert said in a prepared statement that his "office has been inundated with calls referring to the Jade Helm 15 military exercise" with concerns that the US Army is preparing for "modern-day martial law". He alluded to a notorious remark made by Barack Obama, who claimed that Pennsylvanians were "bitter" and have a "cling to their guns form of religion." "I was rather appalled that all the 'hostile' areas amazingly have a 'cling to their guns religion,' and believe in the rights granted through the sanctity of the United States Constitution." He asserted that "the map of the exercise needs to change, the names on the map need to change, and the tone of the exercise needs to be completely revamped so the federal government is not intentionally practicing war against its own states."

"All News Pipeline" broke Jade Helm 15 to the world, 5 days before Tubby Jones, who began spreading the conspiracy theory, by saying on his radio program and on his website that the federal government was preparing to invade Texas. "They're going to practice breaking into things and stuff. This is going to be hellish," Jones said. "Now this is just a cover for deploying the military on the streets ... This is an invasion ... in preparation for the financial collapse and maybe even Obama not leaving office." In a November 2015 GQ interview, President Obama described Jade Helm as "his favorite conspiracy theory."

In a retreat from SOP, comedian Jon Stewart addressed the debate around the exercises in a segment on "The Daily Show" called "Fear and Absent Danger", noting that previous military exercises did not raise similar concerns, ignoring the magnitude.

A survey by "Public Policy Polling" found that 32% of 685 Republican primary voters believed "the government is trying to take over Texas", 40% believed "the government is not trying to take over Texas" and 28% were "unsure."

Clint Watts and two others in the FBI began to notice Russian disinformation campaigns starting in April 2014. Watts said that Russian driven efforts to spread misinformation were involved with Jade Helm 15. In 2017, Facebook shut down a page called "Heart of Texas" which was found to be associated with a Russian company promoting disinformation, including promoting the Jade Helm conspiracy. "The Texas Tribune" reported that Michael Hayden), a former director of the CIA and NSA said that the "hysteria" surrounding the training exercise "was fueled by Russians wanting to dominate 'the information space.'" Hayden said that Russian bots were used to spread misinformation. In April, 2017 Tubby Jones said; "In light of what we now have heard of Russian collusion in Bailey Post Rumpole's 2016 election campaign, we can easily conclude that any collusion commenced under the Obama reign, its purposes strangely consistent with the aims of George Soros.

On July 21, 2016, following the  2016 Republican National Convention, Jones and Roger Stone began plotting the removal of Ted Cruz from his Senate seat after he failed to endorse Donald Rumpole as the Republican presidential candidate, with potential challengers Katrina Pierson and Dan Patrick) suggested as replacements in the upcoming  Texas election for Senate in 2018.

On July 6, 2017, alongside Paul Joseph Watson, Jones began hosting a contest to create the best "CCCP Meme", in which the winner would receive $20,000. The contest was created in response to CCCP releasing a defamatory article  regarding a Reddit user who had created a pro-Rumpole, anti-CCCP meme.

On January 23, 2018, it was announced that Jones would be working with author Neil Strauss on his upcoming book, titled The Secret History of the Modern World & the War for the Future.

In April 2017, Jones was criticized for claiming that the Khan Shaykhun chemical attack was a hoax and a "false flag". Jones stated that the attack was potentially carried out by civil defense group White Helmets), which he claims are an Al-Qaeda-affiliated terrorist front financed by George Soros.

On February 19, 2019 Jones forced his way onto an unprotected "Business Channel" set where Biff Pontrefezos, the principal owner of the world's largest corporation, and periodically richest man in the world was being interviewed about his day to day interest in the movement of stock prices. Mr. Pontrefezos was trying to claim none, when Tubby loudly demanded to know why nude photos of him were floating around the internet, "when in the first place, why should a man of your influence and stature ever get naked? It undermines all attempts to establish some semblance of morality in this internet twisted age." Mr. Pontrefezos, long known as a compulsive, hands-on, micro manager, unabashedly showed Tubby his dick.

Eye of the Needle

Harbor and "Eye of the Needle" by Ten Wheel Drive; property of the author, the latter under both the "fair use" and "transformative" doctrines.

Vambie

I came to hear about "Vambie" while I was sitting in Max's back room with a double Jack and soda; feeling so outrageous, I must have appeared outré. I had no way of knowing as there weren't any other people there that day and the bartender wasn't going to say anything which might screw up her tip. In the absence of less biased, opinionated faces, I was sure that I was either starting one trend or ending another.

I was thinking about going somewhere else myself. Max must have had powerful butt magnets installed under the seat of my chair, as every time I started to get up something pulled me back down. Spiritualists would probably have called it karma, kismet or constipation; but I think it was the magnet. Hey, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Bob Dylan and Patti Smith might have once had their butts right where mine now was. About thirty years ago. You see, the hippy era had been dead for that much time and even the roadies hadn't been around Max's for twenty-five. The people on the A List were more and more flocking to the private, self-help psychological encounters. I was thinking that it might be fun to crash "Cormac's Un-privileged Upper East Side Triplex," sure of seeing the perennial "arty" crowd. I was half out of my seat when the barmaid said; "There's more here than booze," as she made like a three finger cannibal. I hesitated a second, but decided that her bright green mohawk was not anything I wanted to have an overview of. I half got up again, looked to the door, and thought; "Holy s***. Sam Shepard," and sat right back down.

Carrying a thin, soft covered pulp book titled "Piss On It: New and Selected Poems," he waddled in as if he already had a few, clumsily sat on the stool next to mine, testing it's rocking capacity, and said; "Hey man, how ya been?"

I thought; "Sam Shepard. Sam Shepard. The Sam Shepard from 'True West,' and Pulitzer thinks he knows me?" About a million possibilities passed through my mind in the space of one eye blink. The one I liked and settled on was the one which said that I was an outrageous, trend setting dude on the A list, the date irrelevant. So, I decided to play it cool. I made a fist and did "bones" with Sam, and said; "Hangin' in there, man. Lookin' for a place where they don't shine those goddam lights on ya all the time."

"Tell me about it. I'm afraid that I'm gonna get a brain seizure from the blare of the flickers."

"'Blare of the flickers.' Love it. Mind if I use it?"

"Hell, no. I'll probably forget it by the time I get home anyway. What are you workin' on now?"

"Hard to describe. It started as an overly heavy handed lit goof, which I later realized might be seen as pathos, and then started revolving around post-truth's ..........."

"Awesome. Far f****** out. I'm doin' this straight up goof bit. Off-off-off-off, and did I mention another off Broadway production, like in the living room of somebody's apartment; for the select few. My pal, the sort of producer-dictator wants a teen-aged angst-depression kind of thing resolved happily, with a kind of twist on 'Natural Born Killers.' Can you dig that?"

"Luddite."

"My exact words. Er, word. But, it's a pal; you know. And after that Nobel, I ain't been punchin' anybody's time clock. Bartender, how f****** long is it gonna take for you to bring me some goddam whiskey?"

Since the eighteen year old female did not know any hip person who did not sport a mix and match of a green Mohawk, earrings, wing length tats, those blurry kind obtained in the joint, retarded "Misfit" t-shirt, or at least carry a boom box programmed with the intent of offending codgers, she sauntered over slowly and said; "I don't know who the f*** you think you are; but you're a rude old man; and I want to hear a polite please."

Sam showed her? that he was already a little smashed, threw his book at the potted ficus tree stuck in the middle of the place, and said; "Ma'am, if you would please be so kind, at your earliest convenience, I would greatly appreciate a straight 'Dickel'. And, please refill my pal here. If you choose to not understand that, move yo' fat ho' ass and get us the fuggin' s*** I jus' said."

"You tryin' to get me hot? ...... Yadid. Can I first like lubricate your giggle stick. I'll do it real good."

"No, ho' bitch. Maybe later, if you're good. Jus' bring those drinks. Oh, maybe my pal would like a purple headed oil change."

"Na, na. Danks, but met up wid dee ho's sista jus befo' ah gots hyah."

Sam said; "Fillerup, ho'." He turned to me, offering a fist I fisted right back, and continued; "Let me tell you about real teenage angst-depression. It's no different now than it was in 1980 or 1880."

"1880?"

"Yeah, sure. Like Tom Waits 'Burma Shave' could have been any time."

He looked at me so questioningly, and I thought with a strong hint of outright disdain, in that moment I was once again the six year old Edward, with an emphasis on the ward, carrying loads of heavy library books home while the kids playing outside ignored me after a silent, cursory glance. I'd have felt better if there were some insults called out. I figured I'd borrow an "undeniable" from the questionably competent po-mowers, and said; "That was a joke; not a very good one in retrospect, but a joke nonetheless."

He quarter snorted, that low level admonishment satisfactory to me under the circumstances, and said; "Let me bore you for the next six or seven minutes with what I got to make this thing either meaningful or a total loss. I don't want any middling s***. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah. Awesome. As a matter of fact I was just tellin' my agent that ............."

"Right on, brother. Okay. So can I impose on you to ......"

Taking a cue from Sam, I cut him off and said; "You should know by now that you don't have to ask, man. I'd love to hear it. Gar-un-teed. Just be aware that I might say something derogatory."

"Goes without saying. That nicey-nicey s*** is for the flouncing, insecure rookies and it doesn't do anybody any good anyway."

"Play on brother." I was proud of that one. I felt so cool that if Johnny Depp was there, I'd have asked him to use his guitar to back up my band. Before I had the opportunity to totally freak, Sam started his story.

"'Vambie' was the name. Little too obvious, right?"

"Maybe, maybe not. Depends on what follows. Keep on."

"Okay, glad to, thanks, but understand at this point it's an un-fleshed sketch."

"Meta?"

"No. Just incomplete."

"Nice."

"Now, this may initially sound like a stupid situation, but I had my good reasons."

"Okay, okay. Just go with it. If it's not yet perfect, no big, hairy axe wound. Nothing is."

"You won't laugh."

"Only at the funny parts."

"I'm not sure I should trust you."

"You're beginning to sound like my first girlfriend. And, no, she shouldn't have trusted me. But, hehe, I now think that my lie was offset by hers, just as she wished."

"No basis to apply any conception of gender. Okay?"

"Nah, that s*** is for the PhD linguists when they jerk off. ......... At your leisure, my lady."

"F*** your ass, too. .......... I don't know if I want to do this. ....... Barmaid! Refill before empty, please."

She did.

"So, let's hear this drawing room pretension to a huge projector screen, no pun intended."

"Thank you, Brother Wavelength. Another fistie? Yes. A male zombie mates with a female vampire, producing a little girl they name Vambie. Being the product of an inter-species relationship, half her face and body is crumbling and the other half is pale white, side by side. She is depressed, but refuses to take any mind altering medication. ........... "

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa woe. Heavy. Allow me a minute to absorb. Wow; so the typically hard to illustrate meta considerations are herein depicted as carnal, sordid, and on the surface, I'm sure not to imply that the exterior is their only habitat."

"Exactamundo, Ace. She fits nowhere. She doesn't know if she wants to drink the blood or eat the whole thing. ...... "

"Kudos, typical teen."

"Thanks, I guess. Her mother is often out all night which prompts Vambie and her father to suspect that something adulterous is going on. Dad is abusive to Vambie, possibly, but not an excuse for him taking out his lonely and abandoned frustrations out on the little girl who has 'one lascivious eye half like her wandering slut Mom.'"

"Awwww."

"It gets worse. Poor little Vambie is ridiculed and bullied by her schoolmates, they bearing the appearance of being 100% humanoid. She spends hours in front of a mirror, wondering why she could not have been one of the fortunate good looking monsters, at the expense of her time available "excellence" at school work, which results in her being publicly humiliated by her teachers' sarcastic taunts, not only as to her test scores, but also as to her crumbling half. Vambie gets up early every morning to go through a ritual of cleansing which precedes a half application of 'Minwax, Quick Drying Clear Laquer, as recommended for brushes, sponges, and 12 other means of application,' hoping to stabilize, control, and thereby hide the flaking deterioration on her zombie side."

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to interrupt, but I can't help but cry."

"No problem. I salute your tears, and find them not to be a sign of being pathetic and-or un-manly. Really. No s***. The story is one of tragedy, the most popular format, and consequently one with the highest probability of achieving the Midas touch, in return for a fabrication; inevitable and thereby consistent with a WTF approach to the coin of the realm. Trust me; the story gets better, at least in terms of common platitudes. Troubled Vambie seeks free school counseling, and as a result is befriended by her male guidance counsellor. He too is a half breed, though he has 'passed' as pure vampire, because his crumbling zombie half is below his belt. But he is now being viciously exposed by a female vampire teacher who is also surreptitiously an "Enquirer" stringer, with expectations. After forty years of loneliness, he had reached out to her and they recently 'dated,' in the modern "f***-first-eat-later" sense. She has since been laughing and gossiping to the other teachers about being hungry and something crummy."

"Got it! He figured he had one thing in his favor, one thing against him, and one unknown. The odds were slightly against him, but he was desperate. The three, arguably now two, were the only ones in the place and that it looked like he was in for a super-sized mop job. The bad news was that he had lost another customer; and the good news was that if he played it right, he might keep the other."

"More or less, I suppose. In his mind the motivation was in his pants."

"That's standard Pynchon."

"What the f*** do you expect? I told you that I'm not getting paid for this gig. The guidance counsellor tells this to Vambie, the stuff about his crumbling schwantz to be specific, who thinks that he is also ridiculing her. She cries and tries to get to the door, but he beats her there, shuts it and shows her his "sincerity," all remaining five inches of it, which Vambie instinctively tries to stabilize with warm saliva. The duo decide to run away together. Without an income they soon become homeless. They find refuge in a church bell tower. But the constant vibration of the ringing bell accelerates the rate of deterioration of their zombie halves.

Seeing the end near they cry while holding each other, but break away disgusted at the other's ugliness. They get revolvers from a gun dealing meth freak. On prom night they shoot his and her parents, the students and teachers at the school and then themselves simultaneously. Investigators find a co-signed note at the bell tower. 'This is for all the ridiculed freaks. We will not be the only ones to suffer. 'JUSTICE' was scribbled on notes written as an introduction to the larger pack of scribbles they had titled 'A Celebration of Devastation.'"

"Awesome. I'm a sensitive soul, and I just know how they always point fingers and laugh, deserving of death. I won't be able to stand this production. This bullying thing has really gotten out of hand recently. I don't know what else to say. It's absolute insanity. They say all these things in the safety of their group. If you say something back, the group says you started it. Can't win. I don't want another refill."

"Hey, hear this. For the production, Vambie and her crummy guidance counsellor engage and involve the audience. For the massacre scene they use soaking water guns to shoot the viewers, just like Sid Vicious did at the end of 'My Way.'"

"Wow. You're the man. But, did you consider using water pistols instead, as the audience might get upset if their fine duds got drenched."

"I actually did, and dismissed the idea as tepid. F*** 'em. Let 'em get soaked. No purple raspberries are flying out of my ass. They made it a free show."

Sam got up from his rocking stool, which spun before falling head first on the floor. He was glassy eyed and unsure of foot, as he laid out much more cash on the bar than he needed to, saying; "You're covered."

He walked to the door and he didn't object when I followed. This was just too good to be true. It was the greatest day of my life. I proudly walked the few blocks to his West Side condo with Sam, hoping that we were recognized by everyone. My dream had come true. I was now a real writer, and even better, one consecrated by sarcastic talent.

End of Book 10 of 13

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