I remember scoring goals
and I remember I could hear my dad
when I would have the ball.
He was the loudest voice on the field every game.
I felt like dad, he's proud of me,
our relationship is good,
everything is great.
And it was just for that hour and a half.
Tyler Trotter was an infant
when his parents divorced and his dad took custody.
It was a strict household and Tyler spent his childhood
fighting for his dad's acceptance.
I remember the first time that brought home a C
on my report card.
I got a whipping for that.
And that was when I learned
that average was not gonna be acceptable
and if I don't perform above average
in pretty much everything, things could get difficult for me
with regards to the discipline I would face at home.
So Tyler began rebelling and smoking pot.
By 14, he left his father's home in a nice Tennessee suburb
to stay with his anything goes mother
living in the projects.
Soon, he was using and selling harder drugs
like oxycodone and cocaine.
It felt really good.
And just feeling good in general was a big deal
'cause I didn't spend a lot of time feeling good.
He also worked to be someone he wasn't.
And the persona that I adopted was one of like a strong,
confident, masculine type of guy, the drug dealer.
I wanted them to see me and maybe even be intimidated by me
because I really didn't want people
to see that deep down inside,
I was really this soft, scared little boy.
When Tyler was 19,
his girlfriend got pregnant and they had a son.
For the first time in years, Tyler felt joy.
It was like a fulfillment of a life purpose,
like everything stopped.
Everything that was going on in life,
all the drug dealing, all the fake character,
everything that was going on stopped
while I was just a father to this little boy.
I was a daddy, not just a father.
They had another child
and Tyler felt the only way
to provide for them was dealing drugs,
but he also kept using.
Eventually, the Department of Child Services
caught wind of his habits
and threatened to take his kids away.
I had a drug test that was coming up,
and in order to pass a drug test for opiates,
which was what I was using,
that's also what I was withdrawing from,
you had to be clean of 'em for three days.
Bt I remember on the third day
that the withdrawals were so bad
and I remember I had the drugs in my hand
and I was thinking that,
"If I use this today,
there's no way that I'm going to pass the drug test.
I'm going to lose my kids."
Tyler succumbed to his addiction,
failed the drug test, and lost his children.
And not only did he and his girlfriend break up,
his mother kicked him out of the house.
At 21, Tyler was a homeless, desperate drug addict.
Completely and utterly hopeless.
You're not fit to be a father.
You're definitely not fit to be a daddy based on evidence.
You just need to spend all your time trying to get high
'cause there's no way, there's other way
you're gonna remove yourself from this pain.
For the next couple of years,
he would crash with friends, sell drugs to stay high,
and serve several stints in jail.
Then in 2011, Tyler was out on probation
when he saw a TV show about long-time inmates
that made him finally realize
that he was headed down a path towards life in prison.
I'm literally deciding
that I'm not gonna be able to be a daddy to these kids,
they'll be better off without me,
and I knew that I didn't want that.
So, I just kinda said like this prayer,
more like a conversation in my head
with a very vague God who I wasn't sure that I believed in.
It was basically just a Hail Mary,
"God, help me."
Through that prayer, Tyler found the courage
to enroll in Narcotics Anonymous.
There, he was encouraged to seek a higher power.
It was then Tyler called a man
whose life God had changed, his father,
who had given his life to Jesus Christ.
I was still very candid about this has to be real,
and Dad said, "He is real."
So I got on my knees and I closed my eyes
and I went down a list of everything that I could think of
that I had done wrong, both outwardly and inside.
I just told Him, "I'm sorry that I did these things
and I want a relationship with you,
and Jesus, I want you to come into my heart
and be the Lord of my life."
Through his new commitment to Christ,
Tyler not only conquered his addictions for good,
but began to see himself as a cherished child of God.
I no longer have to tell people I am an addict
because the book that I'm reading now tells me
that I'm literally a new creation.
My spirit has been made brand new.
A few things have changed since then.
Tyler now owns a barber shop
where you can book an appointment for a cut and a prayer.
He also reconciled with his parents.
And in addition to marrying his wife, Lori,
Tyler regained custody of his children.
Most of all, he knows that, through Jesus Christ,
he is good enough.
I have that freedom.
I have a Heavenly Father that says,
"There's nothing that you have done
that makes me love you any less."
And it was real.
