

### Frequently Asked Questions:

### Emotions & Feelings

### By

### Jesus (AJ Miller) &

### Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck)

### Session 3

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2016 Divine Truth

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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### This ebook is a collection of answers given by Jesus (AJ Miller) on the topic of emotions and feelings. The answers were given in an interview with Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck), who posed frequently asked questions from members of the media and public, on 29th April 2014 in Wilkesdale, Queensland, Australia. In this session Jesus discusses issues such as; what are pleasurable and painful emotions, what is the cause of pain, what is fear, addiction, and anger and how are these emotions created. These questions are included to help with a basic understanding about emotions, which is required before a person can allow the feelings.

### Reminder From Jesus & Mary

### Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

### It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

### Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

### Many other ebooks have been published by Divine Truth, including ebooks translated into a variety of different languages.

### Please visit <http://www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth> or www.divinetruth.com for further information.

### Additional sessions on the subject in this book can be found on www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth

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Table of Contents

0. Introductory Comments

1. What are pleasurable emotions?

2. What are painful emotions?

3. What is the cause of all pain?

4. What is fear?

5. How is fear created?

6. What are addictions?

7. How are addictions created?

8. What is anger?

9. How is anger created?

0. Introductory Comments

G'day everyone again. It's myself, Jesus, and Mary is helping me again today doing some interviews about the emotions. This is session three of the emotion interviews and questions, or frequently asked questions, but before we proceed with them, I'd just like to remind you again that a lot of these questions are introductory questions about emotions. They are very much based around some basic principles that we covered in the "How The Human Soul Functions" series of questions, so we'd point you back to that particular area, if you haven't looked at that area already, before you listen to the answers of the questions that we ask today.

Today the questions that we're talking about are mostly surrounding some very basic things about emotions themselves, very basic; three main groups of emotions, I suppose you could say. We're going to discuss those particular things together, so I'd like to welcome Mary along. G'day, darling. It's nice to see you again today. (Laughs) Haven't seen you much today actually. (Laughs)

**Mary:** Been busy.

Been so busy. And what we'll be doing is discussing these particular questions, which form the basis of many of the answers we're going to give to other people at a later point in time. That's what we want to do – form the basis of a group of answers that we're going to give to individual people once we've finished this introductory portion of the series about emotions.

We'd like to thank you for your time and watching the material, and we hope you enjoy the material.

1. What are pleasurable emotions?

Well, I'd place pleasurable emotions into two categories: one group are the pleasurable emotions that are actually in harmony with love and truth. They're the emotions that you have and experience, of pleasure, that happen when you are in harmony with God's Love and God's Truth. Then I'd put the second category as a whole group of emotions that are all based around addiction, that you think are "pleasurable." (Laughs)

A lot of times they are not pleasurable to the soul, because they cause damage to the soul, or they cause damage to other people's souls. They are also not pleasurable in the long run. In other words, they're temporarily pleasurable. They give you this sort of instant satisfaction, to suppress a fear or to suppress some anger, or whatever other emotion you're attempting to suppress with it, but they're not really pleasurable in the long term.

If we look at the two groups of emotions: let's focus on the first group, which are the ones that cause you real, long-term pleasure. They're the ones that you experience that are completely in harmony with God's Love and Truth. What I mean by that, is that when we are living our life in complete harmony with God's Love, and complete harmony with God's Truth, then we have continuous pleasure. The pleasure will be of all natures. There'll be this beautiful happy, joyful feeling; sometimes it will be sexual pleasure, depending on what you're engaging in there, but a lot of the times it will be just general pleasure, about your day-to-day life, that occurs because you've got your life into harmony with God's Love and God's Truth.

Now on the Earth today, hardly anybody experiences any portion of that really, because most people are not engaged in pleasurable emotions that are in harmony with God's Love and Truth.

**Mary:** Uh-huh. So would you say that things like joy and excitement, and all these kinds of pleasurable things that we associate with pleasure; from what you're saying, they are coming from the soul, the soul's experience? Whereas the second group of emotions you talked about, was about suppressing some part of the soul's experience?

Yes. Remember, in previous FAQs on this subject of emotions, we've talked about what happens when the soul – when you suppress your soul's energy. Remember, all of these emotions are energy in motion. Pleasurable emotions are pleasurable. If we went back to a pure definition, that's energy that is pleasurable to experience in motion. It's not just sitting there and not experiencing anything, it's actually having a physical and emotional experience.

These pleasurable feelings or sensations are all going to be coming from your own soul, but they can also come from the souls of others. In other words, they can come from God's Soul, or come from other people's souls into your soul, but they'll be in complete harmony with God's Love and Truth. In other words, there will be nothing out of harmony with God's Love or Truth that causes this permanent pleasure to exist.

So we are capable of experiencing permanent pleasure. God created us in that way, but of course, the majority of people on Earth have very little pleasure, and most of the pleasure they have is not of this first type. Most of the pleasure they have is of the second type, and that is, getting their addictions met.

This kind of pleasure is very temporary in its nature; it's focused on suppressing, usually suppressing fear, or suppressing anger or rage, and as a result it can only result in a seeming temporary pleasure. Unfortunately, it also results in damage to the soul of the individual and the soul of other people, and that's probably not the kind of pleasurable emotion in the long run that you want to experience.

Of course, we're very focused on having those emotions experienced, because to obtain the first group of emotions, the pleasure based in harmony with God's Love and Truth, you have to bring your life into harmony with God's Love and Truth. Most people, of course, don't want to do that, or have a deep resistance to doing that for many reasons. What they finish up doing, is seeking out temporary pleasure through the second group of emotions, which are all revolving around addictions.

I feel that if we understand that sometimes we will feel like we're feeling pleasure when actually we're in an addiction, and it's just a way of helping us to avoid certain emotions, and also if we understand that these kind of pleasures will always result in the degradation of our soul, then we can start seeing the results of the different types of pleasure we engage in.

**Mary:** In this second type of pleasure that you're describing, which is based around the fulfilment of an addiction, you're saying that it creates a degradation of our soul, and from what we know about how the human soul functions, then we could understand that it's also going to lead to pain in the long term.

Correct. It might be temporary pleasure for the moment, in the sense that we feel like we're having an addiction met, and so therefore we feel temporary pleasure, but the reality is, we've degraded our own soul, and usually the soul of others, when we engage in those things, and as a result our own soul will feel more pain in the longer term. It's like trying to have a temporary fix to a permanent problem.

Whenever you attempt to have a temporary fix to a permanent problem, when it comes to emotions, you will always experience more pain in the longer term. The only real way to fix any negative emotion is to actually permanently fix it, by experiencing it and letting it go.

**Mary:** The pleasurable emotions that are in harmony with God's Love and Truth, from what you're saying, they don't have a negative result.

Ever.

**Mary:** They result in more pleasure, and they actually expand in our pleasure, don't they?

Yes. They don't have a negative result in the sense that they never have a negative result. This is the important thing that we need to understand. If we are having painful experiences in our lives, it's because we've probably previously chosen temporary pleasure based on addictions, which always cause us painful experiences.

When we engage in true pleasurable experiences that are in harmony with God's Love and Truth, there is never a future painful consequence. As a result, we will never have some future pain to have to endure or suffer or release, because it doesn't create any future pain either, or further pain inside of the soul.

This is the beauty of a true pleasure: it is that it's very pure in its nature. It's completely in harmony with God's Love and Truth, but it also has all of these advantages, in that you don't have any future pain as a result of engaging in it. You don't have any future problems, you don't create any future pain or current pain for anybody else, and you don't damage your own soul in the engagement of that kind of pleasure, whereas the second group of pleasures, if you like, which are all addictive in their nature, used to suppress or resist or distract yourself from other emotions, these kind of pleasures always result in future pain. They result in a degradation of your soul. They also generally result in the degradation of the soul of others, and future pain for others, if they don't experience that particular feeling that they have in that moment. As a result, it's very, very temporary in nature, and causes an escalation of the pain that's inside of the soul.

We need to make sure, really, that the pleasure that we think we're experiencing, is actually going to have long-term benefits to our life, or it's just a short-term seeming benefit with all of these negative consequences.

This is the problem that most people on Earth face: many times they engage in temporary pleasure, the second type of pleasure, and unfortunately it causes a degradation of their own soul, and many deeper, further painful experiences, which they then try to mask with other temporary pleasures, and you end up in this cycle of degradation of your soul if you're not careful, going down that track. There are historically many, many billions of people that have engaged in that behaviour, and hence there are a lot people who live in the darkness of the hells of the spirit world, as a result of their desire for this kind of pleasure.

2. What are painful emotions?

Well again, painful emotions are emotions that are the opposite to pleasurable emotions, in that they are caused by actions, or thoughts, or words, or deeds, or other feelings acted upon out of harmony with God's Love and Truth. They're energies that are stored within the soul that can be expressed, and they will always be expressed in a painful way; they'll always hurt you when they're expressed, because you've taken prior actions, previous actions or thoughts, or had feelings that are completely out of harmony with God's Love and Truth. That's really what painful emotions are.

Of course, again, there are two types of pain, and I think we need to understand that. Perhaps we need to discuss the two types of pain. There's the kind of pain that you go through that heals you, which is an emotional experience of the release of past painful emotions that have been stored in the soul, and that kind of pain will actually lead to your pleasure; that's the irony of that kind of pain, whereas the second type of pain is the type of pain that causes you to decide to suppress it, or deny it, or resist it, or distract yourself from it in some way. Unfortunately, if you engage in that process with that kind of pain, you just finish up creating deeper pain. This kind of pain is very, very damaging to the soul, in that it causes an escalation in your pain.

Pain in itself is not a bad thing. It's the suffering that is caused by long-term storage of painful emotions and experiences that is a bad thing. The pain itself, it can be released from you immediately. If it's released from you immediately, then you'll have no long-term detrimental effects from pain, but if it's not released from you immediately, then you will have long-term detrimental effects from pain. If you've taken actions that are based on pleasure, temporary pleasure that caused pain in the soul, you will have long-term detrimental effects from those actions too.

We need to understand that, firstly, all pain is created by actions taken by ourselves or others, and emotions honoured by ourselves and others, in other words the feeling of emotions - of energy in motion - that is honoured by ourselves or others, that are completely out of harmony with God's Love and Truth; we need to understand that. But we also need to understand that the feeling of pain is not necessarily a bad experience for the soul, because it can actually improve the soul's condition. Also, it is a feedback mechanism for the soul's condition. It tells us that something is wrong in our soul, and this is very, very important for our future development.

If we don't know that something is wrong in our soul, then what's the likelihood that we'll actually adjust what is wrong? It's fairly negligible, I would suggest, whereas once we know that there's something wrong... and the way we know is that we're feeling pain, experiencing pain, that's how we know. We know there's something wrong because we're experiencing pain. Now we have the opportunity to either suppress that pain with temporary pleasure, or suppress the pain through denial or suppression or resistance, or the feeling of that pain.

If we choose to feel and experience the pain, we will release it in that moment, and when we release it, it will no longer govern the rest of our existence. It's very, very important for us to go through a process, which is painful, to release old pains, and no longer have them stored within our soul, but we need to understand that all of these painful experiences have been created by something being out of harmony with God's Love and Truth.

**Mary:** It seems to me that there's the pain that we've accumulated, we've suppressed and accumulated, and then there's the pain that we're almost accruing. The pain from the past that we're storing, occurred as a result of some process out of harmony with God's Love and Truth?

Yes, but it's not only the process out of harmony with God's Love and Truth that has to have happened. There also has to have been some suppression of the result, because the only way for pain to be stored and not felt... remember, all of this is energy that is stored in the soul or felt by the soul, one of the two - we either store it or we feel it, if we store the energy, the painful experience, in the soul, then what we've actually chosen to do, is store that experience at that age. That experience will now continue to damage the soul. It'll reflect upon all of the soul's filters, so how the soul sees the world will be through the filters of that damage, and nothing will occur until we choose to release it. We must choose to release it - nobody else can do that for us. It is a personal process that we must choose at the soul level to go through, to experience, to release it.

We need to understand that the releasing process is good for us. Temporary pain is the result of our recognising painful past experiences, and then allowing ourselves to go through the process of feeling them. Permanent pain, or what I would classify as suffering, is when you choose to deny, resist or suppress, or try to substitute pleasurable for painful experiences. When you choose to do those things, you create longer-term pain. In other words, you place a layer over the top of your pain that keeps that pain within your soul, and now that pain that's in your soul will dictate every single thought, every single action to do with that subject or groups of subjects, and you will continue to degrade your condition until you're sensitive to the pain. That's what causes long-term suffering.

**Mary:** It sounds to me actually, that you're describing three types of pain. One is the pain we're carrying as a result of suppression of painful events or processes in our past?

... which has been created by the past experiences that we've not released.

**Mary:** Yes, the suppression of those past experiences. So that's pain. Then there's the pain that we can experience through healing, by actually opening up to those long-suppressed things...

... or any current thing that's happening that's painful.

**Mary:**... or a current thing that's happening that's painful.

We can completely release that pain. As a result, it no longer governs our long-term experience.

**Mary:** And then it sounds like there's a third type of pain, which is, as we continue right now to engage processes and actions that are out of harmony with God's Love and Truth, then we are creating pain and perpetuating pain.

Yes. If we could add to that particular one - the third one - whenever we're attempting to use pleasure as a substitution for pain. That's all a part of that third group of pains, if you like. Those pains usually turn into deep suffering, like where our body starts coming out with diseases and, you know... By the time we get a disease in our body, it's already an indicator that our soul's in deep pain. We need to be sensitive to our soul in order to enable that pain to be expressed and released.

**Mary:** Okay. You mentioned the term, "permanent pain," which is a result of long-term suppression.

Yes. If we could separate temporary from permanent, permanent pain is the result of suppressing the experience of temporary pain. What happens there is, as I've said previously, you place a layer of suppression, resistance, denial or substitution over the top of the pain that you need to experience. Now that creates long-term, or what you would call semi-permanent or permanent, pain. While you choose to suppress, while you choose to deny, while you choose to resist, while you choose to use substitution techniques, that pain will remain.

If you do those techniques, those substitution and resistance techniques, and those other techniques I mentioned, for ten thousand years, then you'll have that pain in your soul for ten thousand years. That's how the soul works. If you choose to do it for one year, then you'll have it for one year. If you choose to do it for ten minutes then it will be just ten minutes, but there will be that pain, and it will be that period of time, until you choose to experience it completely, until you stop using the suppression techniques that you have in play, to suppress those particular painful experiences and emotions.

Now for most people, the first process they have to go through is removing the suppression techniques. They've got to remove resistance, remove denial, remove resistance, remove suppression, and remove the desire to substitute so-called pleasurable emotions for these painful ones. That process is usually the process that is quite difficult because it's a process that you must engage with your own thoughts and your own feelings; it's not a process... other people can help you, but they can't help you change your mind or change your beliefs, which are all based on emotions inside of you. Unless you change some of these emotions and beliefs inside of you emotionally, nothing can happen.

It's very important, if you find yourself having pain that's chronic, whether it's physical or emotional in nature, that you understand that you've created it through suppression. You need to firstly focus on removing the emotions that cause you to desire to suppress, resist, deny, or substitute these kinds of emotions. That's where I find most people are struggling, because they want to go straight to the pain and they want to bypass all of the suppression techniques.

**Mary:** Well, actually the very fact that we want to bypass all the suppression techniques, shows that we don't really want to go straight to the pain.

Correct. Correct, yes. So they have an intellectual exercise of attempting to get at an emotion that tries to bypass all of the suppression techniques, which are all painful, and they all have painful consequences. Most people don't wish to go through any of their suppression techniques, because they're all painful emotions, and as a result they never really get to the causal emotions, that will cause the relief of the pain.

**Mary:** Yes, sometimes to me it feels like it's like a big - you know, a pile of crap really, (Laughter) that I've stacked on, stacked on, stacked on, and then we get to a point where we realise just what you've said - that the painful emotion is only going to cease when you stop all these other things you've piled on to try to keep it at bay, and then you have to go through this process, which feels a bit messy and involved, like taking ...

Well it is.

**Mary:** ... taking away the judgements of expression and emotions ...

Well the thing we need to understand is that it is messy and involved, because every one of these judgements and suppression and resistances and denials have been created by an emotion. We want to do those things because there are certain emotions that are dictating to us that we do those things. Every one of those things is almost like an addiction that we're now having to unravel. Like any addiction, it takes time to unravel it, and an extreme use of your own will, which is something that we covered in our last discussion.

**Mary:** We did, and I wanted to highlight that again, because really you've just said that pain only becomes suffering as a result of the use of our will to suppress. Pain will always be temporary if we choose to feel it, as it occurs and as it arises in us. But you've said it can almost become permanent, although I don't believe God created a Universe where pain is ever permanent.

No. But the reality is, there are many people in the spirit world who have been in pain for ten thousand years or longer, so that's fairly permanent. It's not permanent in the sense of forever permanent. There's no such thing as a person being in pain forever; there's no such thing as a person being in hell forever either, but they can be in hell, in pain for a long period of time, dependent on their own desire to suppress what's going on.

**Mary:** So this use of will again.

Yes. It all depends on the right use of your will, as to whether you will experience a long-term pain, which becomes chronic in its nature, and so bad that in fact it can cause your own, what you'd call, premature death. The fact that we all die from old age, is an indication that our bodies are still in a lot of permanent pain that has yet to be released, because if we weren't, our cell replication structure would all be perfectly occurring, and we would never die. Our physical body would never die from anything, other than an accident, or by choice, or by somebody murdering us. It wouldn't die from disease or some kind of illness or any of those things, if you had released all of the emotions that created your pain.

We need to understand that the problem isn't necessarily the painful event; the problem is how we handle the painful event. Most people handle the painful event through resistance, denial, suppression or some kind of substitution. These are all very damaging things to happen to the soul, and we do it to ourselves. Then as a result, we usually finish up in our body getting diseases, because the energy systems in our soul have been shut down, so much there's no flow of energy, there's no e-motion - energy in motion. As a result, our soul shuts down and therefore cannot properly keep both the spirit and physical bodies alive, particularly the physical body, and so the physical body gets older, or gets a disease or an illness, and dies as a result of the suppression of these particular emotions.

We need to understand that it's all us. It's all what we're choosing to do with our pain.

**Mary:**... with our pain. You mentioned earlier that pain is really a feedback system for us, God's feedback system. Our choice to suppress the pain is, in fact, almost a rebellion at the feedback system, and then you just mentioned physical illness, which is another expression of a feedback system, isn't it? So there are all these feedback systems that God is trying to show us - something's out of harmony ...

It begins with the emotional pain in the soul, and then of course there's the layer of pain that starts to exhibit in the spirit body, so you start losing different senses in the spirit body as a result of suppression. Then, as a result, that has a follow-on effect onto the material body. After the energy to the material body's been blocked a long time, you start getting diseased organs and so forth, diseased processes. A lot of the processes are inhibited, and as a result the physical body starts to decay, and is very open then to contracting certain types of illnesses and diseases, depending on what you've suppressing.

There is a direct link between what you're suppressing and the type of illness; there's a direct link between all of those things. Like I've said in previous answers, there's thousands and thousands of different illnesses, but each one of them has a certain specific thing that you're suppressing in a certain specific way, that creates those particular illnesses.

If we understood we're doing all of this to ourselves, we wouldn't then go and get a pill to fix our physical body, which is another form of suppression of the feedback system. What we would do instead is, we'd focus on trying to find out what is the actual problem inside of the soul. That's why God designed it this way - so that we find out the problem that's inside of the soul that's out of harmony with God's Love and Truth, and we fix it; we choose to fix it.

Unfortunately that's not the approach we take now, generally, on the planet. As a result we have these continuing and growing problems, with regard to diseases and illnesses and so forth. We put more and more money into solving problems, that in the end are more and more difficult to solve, because we're doing more and more suppression.

**Mary:** Yes, and I just find that really fascinating, that all long-term pain, whether it's emotional or physical, is the result of our rebellion against God's feedback system, and yet God's still trying to give us feedback on that.

Correct. In the end, unless humanity actually sees this en-masse, it's very unlikely that a lot of these so-called diseases and illnesses that we face will ever really be cured. This is what doctors are finding, of course, too - they're finding organisms that once they cure one type of disease another one comes up. There are genetic mutations of different things occurring, with regard to bacteria and viruses and so forth, and all of these are occurring because the actual emotion allows them to occur. Once you cure the emotion, you don't have to worry about those kinds of factors, because the emotion is the cure to the disease or the illness or the problem.

This is where we need to understand that the growing amount of pain that we're experiencing on the planet, collectively and individually, is generally the result of our direct desire to suppress, deny, resist and substitute temporary pleasure for our painful emotions.

**Mary:** And yet, as you said at the beginning, we can simply allow the energy in motion, or the emotion, of the pain and it will be gone from us, in a much briefer period.

Yes. If you look at a child sincerely feeling an emotion - I'm not now talking about a child's emotion of rage or anger or rebellion or any of those kinds of things...

**Mary:**... like a tantrum.

... like a tantrum, I'm talking about a sincere feeling that a child has. For example, let's say the child injures itself, and sometimes children can injure themselves quite badly where they need stitches or other things. If you let them cry, ten minutes later they can be completely free of any pain, even though there's still the injury. As a result, they repair very rapidly; they usually repair very rapidly if they're allowed to have that release of the emotion.

A child knows how to do this process very, very simply but most adults have had it suppressed so strongly, that we've now lost all contact of how to actually process our painful emotions.

3. What is the cause of all pain?

The cause of all pain is energies, if we can call them that, that may or may not be in motion, that are out of harmony with God's Love and God's Truth. Now when I use the term "energy," I'm being very loose in my expression, because they take the form of energy that motivates us to action; they take the form of emotion, feelings; they even take the form of thoughts, which are energies that have come from emotional feelings triggered now into thoughts; and they also take the form of beliefs, so any thought, feeling, emotion or belief...

**Mary:** Action?

... or action, that's out of harmony with God's Love and Truth, will create pain. It will create pain the instant that it occurs. It doesn't matter - it can be a very minor thing that you might have done out of harmony with love and truth - there will be a minor pain caused as a result. If it's a major thing you've done out of harmony with God's Love and Truth, then there'll be a major pain that results.

Now, unfortunately most people are not sensitive to that, because they're already in suppression and denial, and are resistant to any pain, and we can detune ourselves from the sensitivity to pain, so there's probably this secondary aspect that we need to talk about with regard to the question, and that is, allowing ourselves to be sensitive to pain.

You see, pain is our feedback mechanism that something's wrong, so the more sensitive we allow ourselves to be to our pain, the higher a likelihood there will be that we won't repeat the action, thought, or let's call it the energy, that was out of harmony with love and truth that created the pain.

We need to understand that whenever we take action to suppress our pain, we are also taking a secondary action to become less sensitive to pain. Eventually most adults become almost completely desensitised to pain. When we become desensitised to pain, we are now going to find it very, very, very difficult, firstly to be sensitive to the feedback mechanism of what God's telling us that's out of harmony with love and truth, and secondly we're going to find it very, very difficult to release any pain, so we're really causing a lot of problems for our soul by desensitising ourselves to pain.

We meet a lot of people who are very proud of their desensitised state, and yet it's a very, very damaged state actually, that causes a lot of difficulty in the long term, and also causes long-term suffering. Once we have desensitised ourselves to pain, we are basically desensitising ourselves to the feedback mechanism God has provided, to tell us that we're out of harmony with love and truth.

This is why most people on the planet have no idea when they're out of harmony with love and truth - because most of the time they're not feeling the pain that is immediately created. It's only when the pain that's immediately created gets to such a crescendo, in terms of a feeling, that we can't but help to feel it, that we notice it, and that's sad, because we could have felt it a lot sooner; we could have felt it when it was a lot lower in its intensity, but unfortunately, most people only allow themselves to feel pain once it's in really incredible intensities.

The same applies to many spirits. They usually continue to do destructive things, out of harmony with God's Love and Truth, until the physical pain from the actual experience has increased to such a level that now they cannot ignore it anymore, and none of the tools that they're using allow them to ignore it. Once we get to that stage, that's when we start feeling our pain and trying to do something about it.

This is why most people do not do anything about their emotional pain, until they have a physical illness or disease that causes them to feel extreme amounts of pain.

**Mary:** Yes, or limits their physical freedom in some way, physical independence in some way.

Correct, yes, but it's mostly the pain that triggers it. Even when they're limited in their independence, it rarely, if ever, causes them to change. It's only when they feel extreme amounts of pain that they start to change, generally. Even then, many don't. Like, there are many smokers who contract lung cancer, and even while they've got lung cancer still continue to smoke. This is an indication of somebody who's in complete denial of the pain even. They're in extreme amounts of pain, and yet they're still in complete denial of the cause of it. Even though it's well recognised, in that example that I've given, what the cause is; they're in complete denial of its cause, and they'd rather the temporary pleasure of taking the cigarette, than release the pain that could result in their health being improved and a longer life.

We're quite amazing like that. As individuals we go to great lengths to avoid pain.

**Mary:** We do, and yet going back to what you said at the beginning, that pain's created by any action, thought, emotion or belief ...

... or any energy, if we sum all that up.

**Mary:** ... energy, yes, that is out of harmony with God's Truth. In that, we could say it's used to suppress God's Truth and Love, deny it, substitute for it. It's anything to be separate from that, from God's Truth and Love.

Yes.

**Mary:** And you're saying any time we have any energy that's out of harmony with those things, that is creating, in that moment, some pain.

Yes.

**Mary:** And most of us are not so ...

Sometimes we feel it, you know. We might cry for a little bit and feel some of it, but generally most people don't even do that. What most people revert to is complete denial of it, or complete suppression.

**Mary:** And so that pain is created immediately, and yet most of us are desensitised to it...

Correct.

**Mary:**... until it becomes extreme.

Yes.

**Mary:** And from what you're saying, if we were sensitive to it from the beginning...

You wouldn't even be able to engage in the act, if you were sensitive to it from the beginning. The key is allowing yourself to be as sensitive as possible to all pain, particularly emotional pain, but all pain - because emotional pain, remember, comes from the soul - it's energy in motion. It's the energy system inside of the soul - that's the pain you want to be the most sensitive to, if you can be, because then you won't have any physical pain. If you're sensitive to that emotional pain and you release it, no physical pain will actually appear in your body.

**Mary:** Most of us are raised to be pretty desensitised to our pain, aren't we? We're taught that that's good, that that's brave, that that's tough, that that's strong.

There are so many social beliefs, and usually family-based beliefs, that cause us to desensitise to our pain. Everyone's proud of desensitising to their pain, which has been basically, being proud about creating further future suffering. (Laughs) It's very, very negative, to be proud about desensitivity to pain, but most people are like that because there are all sorts of ego-based issues involved with that. When I say "ego-based" - pride-based issues - involved with wanting to make out that you're experiencing no pain when you really are.

The key is to allow yourself to experience the emotional pain, because when you experience the emotional pain, the physical pain is far less, and that's a direct result of allowing the emotional pain to flow, the energy flowing in the soul, turning it into an emotion. That locked-up energy that might have begun there, turning it into emotion by allowing its flow, causes a relief of the soul, and the relief of the soul's pain. Once that occurs, we have the subsequent flow-on benefits to our spiritual and physical bodies.

4. What is fear?

Well, before we answer the question about what fear is, we probably need to answer the question about all sorts of these individual questions about individual emotions, and that is, that all of them are energy of a kind, of a certain type, that's stored or expressed by the soul. Now it can be stored or expressed - so that's the other thing we need to understand. It's a certain type of energy that's stored or expressed within the soul.

Fear is a type of energy that's stored or expressed by the soul. It's stored in the soul or expressed by the soul, and you can do either with it. Now if you store it in the soul, then it becomes a filter for the rest of your experience. It also determines what you attract, because God wants you to release this fear, so God will try to trigger the fear; God will try to bring your very soul, in fact all of God's Laws... Instead of using the term God, if I say: all of the laws of the Universe have been created so that you release fear. If you want to store fear in you, you're out of harmony with all the laws regarding the soul, and so all those laws will kick into action trying to trigger your fear, trying to help you release it. That's, in other words, trying to help you experience it.

But every single energy that's in the soul - fear is included - is just an energy of a certain type. It has a certain type or nature that's individual in its type or nature, and it's usually related to events and experiences, past experiences usually, and past events that you stored rather than felt at that time. You would have had the choice to feel it, but you would have stored it for certain reasons, and many of those reasons are environmental. In other words, we're forced to store it by our environment.

**Mary:** Okay. So you said a lot there. But there are a few notes; perhaps if we walk through those notes...

Sure.

**Mary:**... and then we can maybe expand a little bit on what you said in some of those points...

... because we want to find the flavour of fear. (Laughter) I've said a very general answer to what fear is, which also applies to every other emotion.

**Mary:** Which is that it's energy ...

... that is either stored or expressed. It's either stored or in motion; one of those two things.

**Mary:** Yes. And depending on whether it's stored or in motion, it has different effects upon our life, upon our soul, and upon our selves and those around us.

Correct. But every type of energy, of which fear is one type, has a different way that it gets created, a different way it gets stored, or a different way it gets expressed. God made our souls that way, so that we store and express every individual type of energy in different ways. This is what we need to understand, that every single type of emotion we can ask questions about - there are literally hundreds of different emotions that we could ask questions about - every one of them is a specific flavour, because it's a certain type of energy that is stored or expressed from the soul.

**Mary:** I think it's great that we're talking about fear, because that is an emotion that is largely stored and expressed on the planet, isn't it?

Correct, yes. Unfortunately, with fear it's often stored and then expressed, but using other techniques. In other words, the fear itself is not expressed; we often substitute other emotions for its experience, and that's why we never get to the bottom of our fear.

**Mary:** Okay, so let's talk specifically just about what fear is. You've said it's a type of energy within the soul, and fear, from what you just said, is unique in that it's stored and expressed in a very specific way.

Correct.

**Mary:** And we call that fear.

Yes.

**Mary:** From our notes here, we're saying fear is an energy, or a belief, based on an error.

Correct. There are certain emotions that are beliefs based on truth - they will generally always be pleasurable to experience. Then there are certain emotions that are beliefs based on error, and they will generally always be painful to experience. There's always a link between the type of emotion and the type of experience, and we need to understand that.

Fear is a type of energy that is stored, that's based upon certain events that created pain, but it's also about a belief system that we hold onto, that is out of harmony with love or truth.

**Mary:** The belief system itself that's out of harmony with love and truth ...

... creates fear. Yes.

**Mary:** ... creates fear. Got you.

Now when I say it's out of harmony with love or truth, I'm saying it's out of harmony with God's Love and God's Truth, not out of harmony with the truth of our experience. Many people have fearful experiences created within their soul, and remember, it's not the creation of the experience that causes the fear to remain within the soul, it's our unwillingness to release the fear that causes it to remain in our soul. But fear is generally triggered by an experience, an energy that's triggered by an experience we've had, that causes us now to have a false belief about that experience from God's perspective. As a result, we have fear about the experience, and that's an emotion - it's an energy that's now either stored, or, if it's an emotion, felt inside of us, and not referred to the outside in any way unless we store it.

**Mary:** Yes, so that's another interesting thing you said about fear. It is that it affects the way we perceive reality and different stimuli, based only on if it's stored within us, based on stored past experiences that we have not felt. Very important.

Yes, and it creates what I would classify as an unrealistic expectation of our current experience. What it does is, it makes us see our current experience completely differently to what it really is from God's perspective.

**Mary:** This is when you refer to a filter; this is what you're talking about. It's this filter through which we see and experience and analyse different events and situations.

The emotion causes us to sense, or feel, that a future experience will mirror a past experience. Therefore, we have a feeling, an emotion inside of us that gets created, that we wish to avoid that potential future experience, and that desire is driven by the sensation of fear that exists within our soul, that we haven't released...

**Mary:**... which is stored.

... which is stored.

**Mary:** The stored sensation then begins to actually guide our actions.

It completely controls our actions - completely. We become addicted, and in fact we almost feel a sense of panic if we don't allow it to guide our actions. In fact, the fear is triggered when we don't allow it to guide our actions. When we allow it to guide our actions we then begin to believe we don't have any fear. The irony of a lot of these emotions is, when we suppress them so strongly, we begin to think we don't have it - when actually that's guiding our every action. This is why most people have no idea what's going on inside of themselves, or why their painful experiences are being created every day - because they don't understand how much their suppressed, and resisted, and denied emotions, and the ones that we substitute for them, are actually pushing our actions in every direction.

Yes. Fear ranges from a slight, slight feeling of - what would you call it?

**Mary:** Anxiety?

Anxiety, right the way through, in its extreme cases, to absolute terror. There's a wide range of types of energy from this slight anxiety, right the way through to absolute terror, which would all be able to be bundled into this banner of fear, as a type, or group, of different emotions that we either store or express.

**Mary:** And really, from what we've talked about before, fear only becomes an emotion when it's expressed, doesn't it? When it's felt by us.

Yes, all of these energies are only emotions when they are felt. Up until that point they are potential energies, if you like. They have potential to be felt, but again, how we use our will in our soul will determine whether they are actually felt or not, and what we do with our will greatly determines what will happen to the emotion - whether it gets stored or expressed.

**Mary:** And obviously you've said, when it's stored, that's because there's been a fearful situation or event or circumstance in the past?

Yes, with one extra thing happening, and that is, it was suppressed. The experience of it had to have been suppressed in some way, either by ourselves or by someone, or something, in our environment.

**Mary:** Okay, so the next point we have in our notes is really fascinating. Unfelt fear becomes a desire, or an addiction to act upon, to put it another way.

Yes. It's not really a pure desire of course, so we could use the term "desire" in quotation marks.

**Mary:** And by "pure," you mean in harmony with love or an expression of the person's ...

Of course, every time I mention a pure anything, it's always something that's in harmony with God's Love or God's Truth. Part of the teachings of Divine Truth is, any time there's purity or sincerity or ethics in our emotions, it's always going to be in harmony with God's Love or Truth. Any time there's any pain or other kind of experience, unethical or so forth, then they are all going to be out of harmony with God's Love or Truth. Every time I talk about ethics or any of these other things, they're always going to be things that are in harmony with God's Love and Truth.

When I use the term "desire," normally I would talk about desire that's in harmony with God's Love or Truth, but in this case it's a "desire" in quotation marks because it's addiction, and it's an incessant feeling inside of the soul that's generated to mask the fear. The desire to suppress or deny or resist the fear causes an alternate construction, and the alternate construction is, we then desire to have an addiction met that will suppress the fear. When I say "desire," I use that term very loosely there.

Now what's happening, is that we've got all this fear inside of us that we're suppressing and not recognising, but now we think that we have desires to do certain things that we don't actually have a pure desire to do; it's driven by the fear itself to do it. If I can give an emotional example of this: a person who is in deep fear about what other people think about them, will desire to please other people. After a while, they'll think that the desire to please other people is pure, but it's not. It's only driven by the desire to avoid certain things from those people. In other words, it's an addiction. It's not a pure desire, so it's going to create further pain.

That's an emotional example, I suppose you could say. A physical example could be just taking substances. The desire to take a substance, like getting drunk every day or every week, the desire to get drunk every week is obviously very damaging to the human body. It's very damaging to your soul because you get over-cloaked by spirits in the drunken state, so it's damaging to your soul; you often do things that are out of harmony with love in that state. It's also damaging to your soul because of what you choose to do with your will, and yet we choose to do that, and we think we've got to do it. We think we've got to have a drink; it's driven by this feeling that we've got to have it, we can't live without it, and after a while we tell ourselves that we shouldn't live without it, that it's an essential part of our life, and we have all sorts of justifications there as well.

All of it is driven by the fear of a certain emotion. In the case of drinking, it's generally fear of sadness.

It's all driven by a suppressed fear that's caused this so-called desire to come up, and we then act upon this so-called desire, and it's not a desire at all. It's an addiction. And that's the irony of our fears.

**Mary:** Yes, and what I like about what you're explaining in this question, is that at the beginning you spoke about how most of us don't want to be sensitive to our fears and our anxieties and our terrors, and so we can get to this place where we believe we don't have any fear.

Or we know we have a fear, but they're not causing any discomfort in our day-to-day life, generally.

**Mary:** And further to that, we can even get to a point where we believe our deepest desires and heartfelt passions are really sincere and loving, but actually they are all in the pursuit of just avoiding fear as much as we can.

Totally driven, totally driven by fear. I see this with a lot of the men who we see in our seminars. Many of them are women-pleasers. They think that that is a pure desire and it's not. It's not. It's out of harmony with love and truth; quite often they are bending love and truth just to be pleasing the woman. Quite often. If they were in harmony with love and truth, they wouldn't be able to please their women under certain circumstances, but they choose to please their women, because they think that they've got to, and they feel driven to do it, and they actually think it's a good thing, but it's driven by fear of what the women will do when the man doesn't please them.

So what might the woman do? She might withdraw sex, for example, which means that he has a withdrawal ... any physical approval of his body is now being withdrawn. She may get angry, and yell at him, and therefore he knows that he's displeased her somehow, and so forth.

He may be avoiding all sorts of painful experiences through this thing, so he then thinks it's a desire; he then thinks it's real, and it's not. He has no desire actually, internally, to truly please a woman for no benefit at all. In other words, none of his desire to please a woman is based around any pure desire within him that's in harmony with love and truth. All of his desires to please a woman are completely out of harmony with love and truth, and of course it's going to cause further problems. The woman's going to become a monster eventually, who basically demands everything from him, and sooner or later he will have so much pain about it, that eventually he'll rebel. That's the inevitable result of him taking such actions.

**Mary:** Okay, so finally let's talk about something that you've said a lot in seminars, that fear is actually false appearing real or true, from an emotional perspective. Can you explain what you mean by this, "from an emotional perspective"?

From an emotional perspective, we believe something to be true when it's actually false. For example, in the previous example I gave, where the man is pandering to the woman, he believes that pandering to the woman is going to create more love. That's a false belief. He believes that pandering to the woman will mean that the woman won't be angry with him, and that's a false belief. He believes that pandering to the woman is good from God's perspective, and that's a false belief. He believes that pandering to the woman is loving her, and that's also a false belief. He believes so many things that are false, and false beliefs are the creators of fear. When I say fear, these beliefs are emotional beliefs, they're not intellectual thoughts. They're emotional beliefs that are generally all being created through the suppression of some emotion in the childhood.

In other words, there were some painful experiences, in this case with the man. There had obviously been some painful experiences between men and women, that he has been involved in in his childhood, which have now caused him to believe that he must take these particular actions, in the suppression of his fear of those particular feelings. He wants to suppress the feelings, the true causal feelings, which are usually grief, and he uses his fear, and fear was probably used on him, to suppress that grief. He acts, now in his desires, which are actually addictions, in order to suppress the acknowledgement of the fear that he has in those situations.

All of that is based upon false beliefs: false beliefs that he can't handle his pain; false beliefs about women; false beliefs about what good men do, and so forth. Oftentimes, with any emotion, we may have a hundred false beliefs. This is the complexity - this is why emotions become complex - because we often have so many false beliefs, that are covering over the experience of the actual emotion that could heal us, that we go on with collecting more and more false beliefs, and therefore suppressing more and more of our unexperienced emotions, which of course causes so much damage to our soul.

**Mary:** Yes. Debilitating, isn't it?

Yes. Fear is an interesting one; it's an interesting group of emotions, because they are the types of emotions that create a layer over deeper healing-based emotions. Fear creates a layer over shame, fear creates a layer over grief, and so forth. These kinds of fear-based emotions are then used in the justification of suppression. Fear is unusual in that regard too, in that often when we deny fear we then engage in large amounts of self-deception. Many people on the planet obviously have large amounts of self-deception, because they are completely un-acknowledging of their own fears, which are all there to prevent them from feeling deeper, more painful emotions.

**Mary:** There's so much to it, isn't there? I know that as we go through this series, we're going to talk more about fear, and we're also going to address some questions from fearful people (laughs), who would like to ask.

We're going to talk about fear, anger and all sorts of emotions in this series, obviously, because there have been hundreds and hundreds of questions asked, about all sorts of emotions. Anybody who's ever listened to any of the seminars knows, often people have interrupted me many times with all sorts of questions about emotions, so we want to address a lot of these questions. But it's very, very important that people understand the dynamics of their emotions, and what they often believe are desires, are actually fears that we use addictions to suppress. That's a sad state of affairs unfortunately.

A lot of people think they're doing something they really want to do, when they're not doing it for any reason other than to suppress a deeper emotion.

**Mary:** Also, often, some of the things that are really a part of our true nature and personality, we have fears associated with, and so we feel like we don't want to do things that really, when we deal with fear, we discover we really wanted to do. It works both ways, doesn't it?

It does.

**Mary:** We end up involved in activities and pursuits that we think we really want to do, but actually they're because we're suppressing fear, and we avoid things that really make us come alive because we want to avoid fear.

Correct. If we look at the nature of these groups of emotions that we classify as fear, the nature of these groups of emotions is that we use fear to deny desire. Actually, true desire - and now I'm talking about pure desire, which is all based around God's Love and Truth - we are often suppressing pure or true desire, because our addictions are substitute-desire. Fear has this nature where we're using substitutions for real desire and that's the sad part about it. We think we're actually having desires that are pure, that we're not actually having - they're all driven by addiction in order to avoid fears. This is why the majority of people have no idea what their pure desires are either, because they're so full of fear that they want only their addictions met.

Addictions are interesting too. Addictions are driven by this feeling that you've got to do it. You've got to do it, just like a physical addiction; it's the same, isn't it? If you feel like you need a drink of alcohol you've got to have a drink of alcohol now. If you feel like you need a cigarette it's, "Oh I've got to have a cigarette now. I can't do anything else." In fact, it becomes so demanding that you'll drop anything to do it, and that's the nature of fear-based addictions or "desires." They will drive us incessantly to this point that we have to drop everything in order to achieve them, and they are not pure desires generally, they are all fear-based desires, or fear-based addictions, we should really call them.

Fear is an unusual emotion in a lot of ways. It's an unusual group of emotions that we do all sorts of things to avoid.

**Mary:** If we recap everything you've said then, fear can be anything from anxiety to extreme terror, mild anxiety to extreme terror.

Yes, it's a group of emotions from anxiety to extreme terror.

**Mary:** It can either be experienced as an emotion, or suppressed. If it's suppressed, it creates filters, or it influences the way we make decisions and the way we see the world? In a negative way.

Always in a negative way, because it's out of harmony - fear is out of harmony with God's Love and Truth. Every time we suppress fear or store it within our soul, it is always going to have a negative reflection upon how we see the world, and it's always going to create pain, always. It's always going to create pain. If we store it, it's going to create suffering - long-term pain.

**Mary:** Then we get suffering, and we can also end up in a situation where our desires are muddled, where they're not pure.

Totally. We suppress our real desires and we act upon addictive desires. I find, if people understand the basic mechanics of fear and what happens, then when it comes to talking about fear and how we can address fears, obviously when we go back to these basic mechanics, we'll be able to understand them better, and therefore we can answer many hundreds of questions about fear, in a few questions hopefully.

**Mary:** Hopefully. (Laughter) So just finally, on that point, we talked a lot about what happens when we suppress fear, but let's contrast that to when fear becomes an emotion and it flows. What is the dynamic of what happens there, and what effect does that have?

Sure. When fear is felt, in other words, experienced and flows - it's now energy in motion; it's now an emotion flowing within the soul - it doesn't have any long-term detrimental effects at all, in fact. What will happen initially is, you'll have a feeling of the fear itself, and remember that'll range from mild anxiety right the way through to absolute extreme terror, and in that process of feeling the fear, you'll go through the bodily process of experiencing the fear, you'll go through the emotional process of experiencing the fear, but it will no longer attract any events and it will also no longer affect the filters of the rest of your life. Obviously if you allow yourself, or choose to feel your fears, it has some very, very good, positive effects on your life.

In other words, fear no longer guides any of your future actions or current actions; it no longer filters... no longer are your decisions filtered through the fear itself. The way you see the world is completely different to how you would have seen the world before, and you are also no longer governed by the desire to meet its addictions. In other words, you're no longer driven to have certain addictions met to suppress your fear.

Obviously this is going to cause a lot of benefits to your life, rather than detrimental effects on your soul.

**Mary:** Basically, you're saying when a stimulus comes along that generates fear, and we allow that, then within that we allow the bodily experience of that fear, and the sensation to pass through us emotionally. That's how it becomes in motion.

You'll feel it in your body and you'll feel the sensations. You'll get sweaty initially perhaps, and you might shake and all sorts of things might happen as a result. You may finish up crying a lot or being absolutely terrified, and find yourself just screaming in terror. In the end all of these things are far better than storing it. Obviously, this is a problem with judgement that most of the people on the Earth have. It is that they don't see screaming in terror as better than suppressing it, so they suppress it. That's what causes the storage of the fear, and then causes these longer-term detrimental effects on your own life and your own health.

**Mary:** And when we do that, when we allow it, we have these benefits of staying in touch with reality, of love having a possibility to guide our actions, rather than always being guided by the desire ...

By addictions.

**Mary:** ... to suppress fear.

Yes, which are addictions. We'll always be guided by addictions while we have fear within us that is suppressed.

**Mary:** Also, within that, you're saying when we have suppressed fear, we always have to act to suppress it, obviously. It's an ongoing process of our will.

And that's why we have the imperative of maintaining our addictions.

**Mary:** That's why it feels exhausting to live with fear when we're suppressing it all the time?

Well, for most people they're not as exhausted as they really need to feel, because the reality is they're getting all of their addictions to create the suppression of any feelings of exhaustion, of suppressing their fear. There are even layers above that that they're operating in. They're not even close to feeling their fear. When a person gets close to feeling their fear but is not yet feeling it, that's a period usually when they feel quite exhausted, because you have to fight it quite strongly in order to suppress it. But once you get through whatever false beliefs and judgements that have occurred to cause you to do that, you'll just let yourself experience your fear. That's when you go through that healing process with your fear.

**Mary:** So we have the opportunity first, when fear is created, to feel it, but most of us have by now suppressed the majority of that, from our childhood and beyond.

We're so used to doing it that it's almost automatic. It's an automatic behaviour.

**Mary:** It's an automatic process; there's no sense of fear even. It's just straight to addiction.

There's a belief inside of us that causes us to automatically suppress, and we don't even think about it. There's no thoughts going on at this point - we're just suppressing it immediately.

**Mary:** And you were saying that's where most people live. But then we have this choice now, as adults, to open up, and to stop suppressing fear, and we have to go through a process of removing the addiction or ...

Well there are a lot of layers, which we can talk about later, but they range from complete denial, wanting to no longer deny, even intellectually, that you must have some, right the way through to denial of the fear itself, which is all about your addictions.

In other words, you deny that you have any addictions. You think that all the things you do are in complete desire when none of them are - they're all basically in complete addiction. Once you realise that, you then go through acknowledging your addictions and so forth, and then you get to emotionally feel what the results are of most of your addictions, and how icky they feel, how bad they feel to you. You go through that process, and now you come to some acknowledgement of your fears.

Once you start getting to that place, you often feel exhausted because you can't go ...

**Mary:** Because you're fighting?

Yes, because you can't go back to your addictive processes or suppression, but you're also not yet going into your fear, and so you're now in this state where you're starting to feel anxious about having to go through your fear, but you don't want to revert back to other behaviours that are all suppressing your fear. This is layer upon layer, that you need to go through in order to get to the stage where you feel your fear. Most people have not got to that stage.

Most people who've heard it for six years haven't got to that state - they're still heavily in their addictions or denial of their addictions. Usually, that's the state that most people maintain for most of their life on Earth.

**Mary:** But presumably when we get past that final barrier that you talked about, like wilfully trying to, without using any addictions, just trying to hold on, when we go over into now experiencing the fear that we suppressed for so long ...

Yes, and to do that you have to have released all of these barriers to doing so.

**Mary:** All the beliefs, the addictions and all of that stuff. But that process is presumably much more relieving.

Yes. You have extreme relief actually. Your body goes through this relaxation process on that particular subject, whatever that subject is that you're releasing your fear about, and your whole life actually changes instantly. All of your attractions change instantly. Once you really feel some of your fear, all of your attractions change instantly. The way in which you interact with every person around you on that particular subject is instantly changed. You see the world completely differently. You see how God's created it completely differently to what you thought. What was guiding your every thought and every feeling and every action and every word before, now isn't guiding all of these things anymore. You're far more free to allow for new experiences, new feelings and new thoughts that you were completely blocked to up until that point.

It's an incredibly freeing experience, once you actually get to feeling some of the fear.

**Mary:** It sounds very attractive.

Well it is very attractive, and the sad thing is that most people don't realise how attractive it is. They don't realise how big the benefits are, to actually get to the point of feeling and experiencing their fears as they truly are. It is such a freeing experience that it changes your entire life. In fact, the only opposition to truth and love is fear in most cases, it's not grief. It's fear of grief.

Once you don't have any fear at all, you will process all of your emotions pretty much instantly, and therefore you will have no resistance to love and truth inside you, and that's a beautiful place to be. You get to the point where you can process every single thing as it occurs, and not even have a negative experience while you do so, once you've received enough of God's Love to be in that condition, but while you've got fear, you will never, never get into the state of being in the condition of being at-one with God, and therefore never get into the state where you'll actually have permanent pleasure.

There are so many positive benefits of going through your fear. So many. We can't list them all, obviously, but there are just so many in terms of how it changes your life, how it changes the life of people around you, how it affects your impressions on the environment, how it affects your projections onto the environment, how it affects every single living creature around you, how it affects every single organism that's within your body. All of those organisms change in their operation once you release fear on certain subjects. There are so many changes that occur with that one proper release, that once you've done it once or twice, the average person, they'll not resist it anywhere near as much as they have done in the past. The problem is, getting a person to actually go through it at least once.

**Mary:** What's the famous quote, someone, some great leader somewhere in the history of the Earth said ... or maybe it was Martin Luther King, I don't know: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Laughs) It sounds like that.

Yes. I think a lot of the times people have a large amount of fear about feeling fear. I wouldn't call that fear of fear, I would call it a fear of feeling the sensation of fear, which is really a fear of pain that people are expressing. I feel that if you have so much fear, and you don't ever release it, you will never experience the joy and peace that comes from the release of fear.

Your whole life will change in so many ways... it's impossible for most people to even understand how many ways their life will change once they release fear. Their life changes in so many ways; there are so many, almost uncountable, ways that life changes that you become conscious of after you've gone through the experience.

You also generally have faith after the experience. You have faith that processing emotion actually has a positive benefit. Until people go through their fear they normally don't have that faith at all.

**Mary:** I feel it's difficult to have faith, even in the goodness of God and the world around us, when we live in fear.

Correct. It's impossible to have real faith with fear. As you get more faith, you automatically find that you have less fear. I should say, that it often happens the opposite way around - as you get rid of fear, you then gain more faith through the process. If people would only make the start, and it's like a lot of the things with regard to Divine Truth, if they'd only make the start then they'd realise the benefits. Most people have yet to make a true start, when it comes to actually allowing themselves to experience the fear that's within them.

**Mary:** It's where theory becomes practice and knowledge, isn't it?

Correct.

**Mary:** It's that start where emotion, real emotion, long-suppressed emotion, begins to flow, and not just dealing with addictions, but that is when truth comes to us, isn't it?

Yes. You will not know anything about emotions at all while you retain large amounts of fear in your soul that you don't experience. You must go through the experience of feeling your emotions before you'll start to understand a lot of things like desire, and a lot of things like sadness and other emotions and addictions, and all these other things. You won't understand. It'll just be an intellectual presentation; it won't be things you understand until you go through the feeling, the actual feeling of your fear.

This is why I say to people that feeling your fear is one of the most important things that you can do, to come from a condition of sin into a condition of perfection. Fear is an enemy to your perfection, and rather than seeing it as something you should fear, you need to see it as something that you need to embrace, so that it's no longer the enemy that you make it.

That's why I gave some talks about, "Fear Is Your Friend." Fear tells you when you have false beliefs that are out of harmony with love. Fear tells you what you need to do inside of yourself. Fear is a friend in that regard, but it's a friend only if we allow its experience. If we hold onto its experience and suppress its experience, it then becomes a terrible enemy to our wellbeing, but fear has a potential of being our friend, as long as we embrace the process. It is, in fact, something that God created the potential of these emotions; God didn't create the emotion of fear. I must point that out. The emotion of fear has only ever been created by humanity. God does not have the emotion of fear inside of God at all, and God does not engender fear inside of any one of God's creations.

There's no need to fear God, for example. God, though, created the potential, through your free will, for you to go into belief systems emotionally, that are out of harmony with love and truth, and that means that God created the potential for you to create fear. Fear is mankind's own creation.

**Mary:** Perhaps that's a good place to leave it, because our next question is going to be about how fear is created.

How fear is created. Yes. That would be good.

5. How is fear created?

Well, there are numerous ways how fear is created, but maybe if we look at four primary ways that fear is created, it'll give everyone a bit of an idea of where it actually comes from, as an emotion.

Firstly, fear is created whenever love is withdrawn. This is a very important factor that most people need to understand about fear. Usually, when we're in a situation where love, the feeling of love has been withdrawn from us - and by this I mean the feeling of love that we could feel before that situation began - is withdrawn from us because of the situation, we then have a tendency to fear the situations that caused the withdrawal of love.

Maybe we can have some examples, just some simple examples that are physical in nature. Let's look at an example of, like, "I'm afraid of a spider." Most people are not actually afraid of spiders when they're young, when they're little. In fact, many people probably have memories of picking them up and looking at them in wonder, but when a parent has come along and expressed anger, rage, and even sometimes violence towards the child for picking up the spider, now there is a direct connection in the child between the actual physical thing they've picked up, the spider, and the withdrawal of love, which is the fear-based expression of the parent. The parent has gone into violence, or at least into rage or fear, which all cause the withdrawal of love. When we have love withdrawn from us, most people feel that quite terribly - when we have love withdrawn \- and as a result we now link the withdrawal of love to the event.

In other words, instead of blaming the withdrawal of love on the fact that our mum or dad has been stupid (laughs), or the fact that they have got fear or whatever else, the little mind, the child's mind, doesn't make all of those assumptions. It just has a very simple equation within it, and that is, "I took an action, I picked up a spider, mum and dad went berserk, and perpetrated all of these unloving actions towards me. As a result I now feel afraid of the spider because love has been withdrawn."

That's a large reason why fear gets created - the withdrawal of love from the individual. Most people who have childhood fears and childhood - what do we call them now? Where you ...

**Mary:** Phobias?

... phobias, they are all caused by the withdrawal of love in certain situations. The reason why someone might be afraid of a snake, or a spider, or any physical creature, has usually always been caused by the withdrawal of love in the same situation.

**Mary:** Of course, I'm sure we could go into many other subtleties, or not so subtle things but less tangible things, couldn't we, in childhood, where a child is in a situation where maybe the mum and dad are just having an argument, and they don't feel any love.

There's a direct withdrawal of love in an argument.

**Mary:** Then there's an association, and fear exists around whatever their ...

Now there's an association in the child regarding relationship with the opposite gender. Whenever there's a raising of voices or whatever, they know fear. Their fear is created because they now believe love will be withdrawn.

Somebody might be able to be angry and not sin. Somebody can be angry and go in a room and just express their anger, but the person who's sitting outside, who's had that childhood experience, will feel, "Love has been withdrawn from me," now.

**Mary:** "I'm afraid. I'm afraid."

"I'm afraid. I'm afraid."

**Mary:** "What's going to happen?"

"What's wrong with that person?" This is why a lot of people are afraid of a person who feels their anger, even if that person feeling their anger is doing so in complete harmony with love and truth. This is the sad part about what happens emotionally. We have all of these things from the withdrawal of love - all of these associations are made emotionally inside of the child, which then causes the child to falsely believe that certain things will occur. Then of course, when that child grows to be an adult, the childlike emotion is frozen at the point that it's created. In other words, if it was a three-year-old experience, the child is going to act like a three-year-old in every one of those experiences, until that emotion is released.

So, if a person goes into a room and expresses rage, the child, who has yet to release this fear of the anger between mum and dad and how it was expressed, is going to go into terror, even about somebody doing something that's quite safe. Therefore, the adult is really acting like a child at the same age, which is another problem with fear in that fear, when created, was created at the age it was created.

This is why we have unreasoning fears with regard to some phobias, because at the age those phobias were created, we couldn't reason. As a result, it's like this terrible terror goes through us, and it's very childlike, because we're an adult now and there's this little tiny spider and we're afraid. What's going on? Or a mouse, or whatever it is that we're afraid of. These are all because of the associations now locked within us at the age in which they were created. That's why we have such an unreasoning response to the emotion flowing, and that's why we want to suppress it.

**Mary:** Okay. So there's the withdrawal of love that can create fear. What else can create fear?

The second thing is the withdrawal of truth. Of course, truth and love, from God's perspective, go hand in hand; they are joined. As a result of that, every time love is withdrawn, truth is usually also withdrawn, and every time truth is withdrawn love is also usually withdrawn.

In a childhood experience, it could be where we went home, for example, and we told mummy and daddy that we had told our next door neighbour they weren't very nice, because that's what mummy said (laughs), and mummy then goes berserk, telling us that we should have lied. Truth is withdrawn and love is withdrawn in that moment, so now we'll become very afraid of telling somebody the truth - very afraid, and that fear will be locked up at that age.

If it happened when I was five, I will feel like a five-year-old, every time I'm put in a position when somebody's asking me for the truth, every time. I'll feel like a five-year-old, because that emotion is yet to be released from me, and so I'm going to have the feeling that something terrible is going to happen, by telling the truth.

This is the sad effect of truth being withdrawn - it causes fear to then change our filter. Therefore, we then think and feel that every time truth is confronted, we'll almost have a tendency to want to lie automatically, without even understanding why.

**Mary:** With that example, having truth withdrawn, I was just wondering about things like racism, or things where there is no truth coming from our environment, as a child, on a certain issue. Truth is withdrawn in that sense; there's no truth that everyone is one of God's children, that we're all equal ...

Yes. I would classify that as another type of experience, which is lies masquerading as truth, which is, I think, the fourth one we've got on our list here.

**Mary:** Oh okay, sorry. I'm jumping ahead. I didn't see that.

Because to me, that kind of example is where lies... which is, "I'm better than you," is a lie, and "I'm better at you because I'm a different colour to you," is a double lie (laughs). Those are lies masquerading as truth. They always cause fear to be created inside of the individual. I feel that's that kind of flavour of the creation of the fear-based emotion.

**Mary:** Got you. Alright, so love withdrawn, truth withdrawn, lies masquerading as truth?

Lies masquerading as truth. Let's talk about that a little more. This is something that is well done here on Earth. (Laughter) When I say, "Well done," it's sad that it's so well done, but most people have no idea how many lies they're told in the course of a day, that they then believe are truths, and unfortunately they create fears within the soul.

For example, "The snake's poisonous; it will bite you," is a lie masquerading as a truth. Like, snakes don't want to bite you. (Laughs) They usually only bite when they're afraid. A person who's not afraid of a snake can generally just pick up a snake, and they'll be fine. So a snake will only bite you when they're afraid. That's the truth, but, see, that's not what's said. What's said to the child is, "It's a snake, it will bite you and it's poisonous." In other words, "You're going to die, or you're going to get very sick if you allow this snake to bite you, so you're better off killing the thing."

**Mary:** And certainly, "Be very afraid of the snake."

There's a feeling of needing to be afraid of this snake as a result. These are lies masquerading as truth. As adults, many times we don't understand the physical effect that has on the child. It enters the child as an emotion, on a lot of levels, and unfortunately they then believe that for the rest of their life, and base many of their actions around it. It creates emotion within a child, of fear, about those particular things occurring.

If the parent has a fear of death or a fear of getting sick, both fears are also lies; there is no need to fear death because we continue living, and there's no need to fear getting sick because it's an indication there's something wrong emotionally - it's just a response to an emotion. There's no need to be afraid of it. There's no need to be afraid of any of these things, but the fact the parent has the fear means there's often a combination now occurring with the child. The child has love withdrawn from it, because the parent's in fear. The child is told a lie, which is another withdrawal; it's a withdrawal of truth, another fear. And this child has lies masquerading as truth presented to it. In other words, now there are three different creators in the one event, of why the child has so much fear. And it's all emotional. It's all stuff now that's been created emotionally through the event.

That makes it very, very difficult for the child later in life to actually deal with a phobia of snakes, because there are all these lies, and there are all these truths withdrawn, and there's all this love withdrawn, all at the same time. Of course the child is going to feel quite confused and often, not only confused, but quite distressed about those circumstances. Because it's distressed and then suppressed, it has locked up that emotion at that age.

Now the adult, thirty-five years old, looks at a snake and responds as if it was three years or four years old. It responds in the same way, with the same responses, even though it's now an adult, it's able to protect itself, there's nothing to fear, it has more control over its environment that it did when it was a child. Even though all of those things are true, the adult doesn't think those things are true because it's thinking like a child, because the emotion of the child, which is locked up inside the adult, is driving the entire proceedings.

**Mary:** You're actually saying that fear is created when these events happen when we're a child, and then you're saying, "And then it's usually suppressed," which means that we carry that fear.

Yes.

**Mary:** So fear is created and, as we mentioned in the previous question, we have the opportunity just to feel it and it will be gone, but usually it's suppressed, and so these things that happen when we're adults, when we begin to feel afraid, it's not the creation. That's not creating fear; it's the thing that was suppressed. The original creation happened a long time ago.

Yes.

**Mary:** Presumably, if we were a child and, we were allowed to feel the fear as it was created... ?

Well, by definition, that's probably not going to be the case, because most parents inculcate these particular fears into the child, and suppress them on purpose, so it's very unlikely that the child feeling all that fear would have been allowed to experience it.

**Mary:**... because it is the parent's own suppressed fear that is generating the fear in the child.

And also generating the withdrawal of love, the withdrawal of truth, and the lies masquerading as truth. All of these things are happening because of the parents' condition. It's highly unlikely the parent is then going to allow the child to feel it (laughs), because the parent hasn't even learned to allow itself to feel it.

The reality is that yes, in theory, if the child was allowed to experience all of those emotions, it would have been fine, but in practice it's not allowed to experience all of those emotions, and that's why the parent is pushing these things on the child in the first place.

In practice, it's very highly unlikely for the child to go through a complete experience, where they're allowed to feel the fear in the moment that the fear is created.

**Mary:** Okay. Let's talk about the fourth way that fear is created. This is having co-dependent addiction masquerading as love.

Yes.

**Mary:** This is a juicy one.

There's a relationship between everything we're looking at. Remember, I said there's withdrawal of truth, and then there's the lies masquerading as truth. With regard to truth, they are the two sources, or the primary sources of damage to the child, in terms of fear. With love, there are love being withdrawn, or lies masquerading as love, which is, addictions masquerading as love. It's the same principle.

This fourth principle, which is lies masquerading as love, or really addictions masquerading as love, in other words, nice feelings masquerading as the real nice feelings. (Laughs) Fake nice feelings masquerading as real nice feelings.

These are the kinds of feelings that cause a shut-down inside of the person with fear. For example, the child starts to feel something from its environment, and becomes a little afraid of what's going on. The parent picks up the child and hugs the child, and says, "There, there, you don't have to feel this." In that moment the parent is in an addictive masquerade of love with the child. They're not really loving the child, because real love of the child would allow them to experience their own terror and fear.

**Mary:** Would they pick up the child?

They may pick up the child but they would never go, "There, there, you don't have to feel this fear."

**Mary:** They'd say, "You're okay to ..."

They would allow the fear to be felt. In fact, they would actually say the opposite; they'd say, "You can feel this fear." They'd teach their child that they have the capacity to feel their fear. But when they go, "No, no, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright," all the parent's really doing is allaying their own fear. The parent is teaching the child to suppress fear through a masquerade of love - addiction, in other words. They're teaching the child to become addicted, which is always going to create a worse situation and more fear. Very, very damaging thing to do to the child.

It's often these so-called "loving things" that we do to the child, which are actually addictions, that are the more damaging, because they are harder to unravel. It's often easier for the child to see when love was withdrawn, than it is for the child to see when there was an addiction masquerading as love, and it's often easier for the child to see when truth is withdrawn, than it is for the child to see a lie masquerading as truth.

The problem with the masquerading emotions is that they create further things to unravel, intellectually and emotionally, for the child. This is why it's sometimes more difficult to recover from a so-called non-abusive, "loving environment," which is really all based around addictions and lies, than it is to recover from a blatantly unloving and untruthful environment where somebody has been abused.

This is the problem that we face. The reason why it's often easier to recover is that the masquerade is more difficult to detect than the actual withdrawal. This is a problem with the creation of fear. Unfortunately, most of our fears revolve around the masquerade, not around the withdrawal. What we end up having are these deep masquerades of love, and lies masquerading as truth - addictions masquerading as love, and lies masquerading as truth. We see these two things in life going on, and we believe them to be truth and love, and then we don't understand why we have so much fear. The reality is, we have huge amounts of fear related to those things, because they are all masquerades, and they are very, very difficult to unravel.

**Mary:** And they've given us false definitions of what is real...

Correct.

**Mary:**... what is really truth and what is really love.

They have totally distorted reality from God's perspective.

**Mary:** And so of course we're going to live in a lot of fear.

Yes. When you live in total distortion of reality from God's perspective, you will have lots of fear, and you won't even know it. You won't even know it. You'll think you have none, in fact. You'll think you've been brought up by a loving, happy family - a loving environment - but as soon as somebody starts triggering you, the emotions that are triggered show you, "Wow this is painful. This shows me I must have had a lot of stuff masquerading going on, if this is such a painful experience."

This is often the cause of deep diseases that kill you. Cancers, for example, are a lot about lies masquerading as truth, and addictions masquerading as love. When you trace them back to their sources, you'll see that's what's generally occurred in the families of people who get cancers, and they are very, very damaging emotions that cause the destruction of your physical body along with the harm to your soul, and the harm to the souls of those creating them.

And yet, we often have no idea that they're occurring. In fact, most of society believes that many of the lies are true, and that many of the addictions are love. You see this all the time. You see it in television shows, you see it in newspaper clippings, you see it in the way society works even. There are all these addictions that are masquerading as love, and lies masquerading as truth, and the majority of us have a sense that something's wrong, and also the majority of us are in a lot of pain, as a result of these things occurring, and yet we make no change, because there's a lot of fear associated with them.

It is very difficult to confront the masquerade. In fact, it's the confrontation of the masquerade that is often more explosive than just the confrontation of the facts. In other words, knowing that you've had love or truth withdrawn is a confrontation of the fact. A confrontation of the masquerade is, you've had love and truth withdrawn but they say that you haven't. That's a confrontation of a masquerade, and that is very, very difficult. Usually, that's when all sorts of family issues come up, you know, families don't talk to each other for years and years, because when you start confronting the masquerade, most families want to keep the masquerade, whereas generally, a family who's withdrawn love and truth, will be honest and say, "Yes, I probably didn't love you," or, "I probably didn't care about you, that's true."

**Mary:** And for the individual that helps them to be more honest, which helps them with their fear...

Yes.

**Mary:**... whereas when there's an ongoing denial of the very situation that generated the fear, it is much harder ... there's a whole other range of fears that have to be gone through in order to connect with ...

We have to unravel all of the addictions, and the addictions are going to be intense when there are lies masquerading as truth, and addictions masquerading as love. The addiction level is going to be intense to feel, and as a result many people who start that process, take four or five years before they get beyond that process, even when they're doing it sincerely, because there is a lot to unravel. And it's because of the masquerade.

It's one thing to do a certain thing. It's another thing to lie about it and tell the person that it didn't happen, even though it did happen. It's like punching someone in the nose and telling them it didn't happen, and that's a lie, whereas punching someone in the nose and actually saying, "Yes I did do that."

**Mary:** Yes, and often there's a fear of even saying, "No, you did punch me in the nose," because there's a fear of another punch in the nose.

Correct, yes. Not only another punch in the nose, but a complete denial and ridicule of the fact that you believed it happened. (Laughs) And it's just so damaging. It just causes so many layers of problems inside of the soul. This is the major creator of these fears.

Fear is mostly created by those four series of events occurring, and usually it's not one of them by themselves - it's usually in tandem, all four occurring at the same time, that causes most of our fear.

**Mary:** Just to recap, there's having love withdrawn; having truth withdrawn; having co-dependent addiction masquerading as love; and having lies masquerading as truth.

Yes.

**Mary:** You sort of highlighted them with some physical examples, but obviously all of these things apply in terms of the emotional environment.

Far more so. Far more so apply emotionally. What happens emotionally is often far worse than the physical. Sometimes though, it helps us to look at a physical event, and say, "I can see it quite plainly occurring there," but from an emotional perspective, yes, far more serious, because most people are desensitised from their emotions as well, which means that we are not sensitive to the fact that these particular things have occurred emotionally. That makes it very, very difficult for us to actually really face our true fears.

For most people, the majority of their true fears are emotional. They're not physical in nature or intellectual in nature. They're all emotional. They are all based on belief systems that are deeply ingrained emotionally, inside of them, as a result of those four things being engaged by their environment, by people in their environment.

You get it at school, you get it at work, but when a child's growing up, obviously it's mostly at home and at school, and both school and home generally encourage a lie masquerading as truth, and the addiction masquerading as love. Unfortunately, it causes huge amounts of damage to the child. By the time we're twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, we've got so much damage that now there's Law of Attraction going on. God's Law of Attraction is bringing to us a consciousness of this damage, but we're in so much denial of even trying to be conscious of it at that age, many times it's not until our pain increases to such a point, and usually that starts occurring during our thirties or forties or fifties, that we start analysing what actually happened during our childhood.

**Mary:** Very thorough, thank you.

6. What are addictions?

(Laughs) Well, addictions are the result of suppressing emotions inside the soul, such as fear, or painful emotions such as grief. In an attempt to do so, we have to create a whole other group of emotions that we call desires, that help us to deny, suppress, resist or substitute for painful emotional experiences. Addictions are inside of the soul, and they're basically desires that are created by the suppression of certain fears. In particular, fears, but it could also be the suppression of other types of emotions such as grief.

**Mary:** Or shame.

Or shame, or other kinds of emotions. Addictions are very, very powerful tools to avoid painful emotions, and as such, most people have a huge struggle giving them up, particularly giving them up if they're emotional, but even if they're physical addictions, giving them up is often very, very difficult.

**Mary:** Okay, let's talk about that, because you, in your ...

Let's talk about the types of addictions.

**Mary:** The types of addictions. Yes. In your preamble there, you basically just said that they're all emotional really.

They are all emotional. Well, they're generated by the desire to suppress certain emotions... is probably more accurate.

**Mary:** So then addictions can take different forms, but they're all generated by an emotional desire to suppress fear.

Or deny or resist or substitute - put something in lieu of. Sometimes it's easier to suppress an emotion by having another one instead, for example.

**Mary:** Let's talk about that. There are three main forms of addictions...

Yes.

**Mary:**... the first being emotional.

Of course. Emotional is where we're using an emotion that has to come from either within us or outside of us. Usually it comes from outside of us because it doesn't exist within us, so usually it's an emotion we expect someone in our environment to give us, in order to suppress or deny or resist or replace a negative, painful feeling that we have inside of us.

We could probably come up with examples there, of what such emotions are.

**Mary:** For example, between a husband and wife, there could be very many emotional addictions, couldn't there? Like, if I don't want to feel lonely or unwanted or alone ...

Or unsafe.

**Mary:**... unattractive, or unsafe, I could want my husband to supply me all of those emotions.

All of those things...

**Mary:** They would be emotional addictions that I have.

... and you'll think you're in love with him when he does.

**Mary:** Yes. (Laughter) Feel super-attractive.

You'll feel super-attractive to him because he supplies your addiction of your safety, he supplies your addiction to make yourself feel good about yourself. Because he's supplying all of these addictions, you'll just think you're head-over-heels in love with him when the reality is, it's all co-dependent addiction.

**Mary:** Because you know what happens? When you're near that person, suddenly all these things that you're trying so hard ... you have the active desire to suppress, suddenly in the presence of that person you don't feel that...

... them anymore.

**Mary:** You don't feel them anymore because they can't ...

And you find it really, really easy to suppress when you're with them.

**Mary:** They're easy to suppress, so you think, "This is great, being with this person; this must be love."

"This is love. This is love." And it's not. It's just an emotional co-dependent addiction, and obviously the other person usually has to be getting something out of it as well.

**Mary:** You're probably giving something to them emotionally.

Of course. They're probably getting something in return for supplying these particular emotions to you, otherwise they probably wouldn't be in a relationship with you - unless they believe that that's all they're worth, which of course many people do because of how they've been treated when they're young.

So you generally have two groups of people created in these emotional co-dependent addictions. There's one group of people who I'd call, "The abuser" of the addiction, and there's the other one who's called, "The supplier" of the addiction. The abuser of the addiction is generally the person who demands that the addiction be met, and feels like they have a just right to expect that addiction to be met, and the supplier of the addiction generally feels that they should meet that addiction, and that's the loving thing to do.

**Mary:** That's how they attain their worth.

That's how they attain their worth. In other words, they have low worth and they get their worth by supplying the addiction to the abuser.

**Mary:** Yes, got you.

And when I say "abuser," I'm referring to... almost all marriage relationships on this planet at the moment generally have one abuser and one supplier, and most of them think they're in love. (Laughs)

**Mary:** Yes, at least initially.

At least initially. Of course, because it's impure emotion, and out of harmony with God's Love and Truth, eventually it creates pain, so after a while they don't believe they're in love anymore. (Laughs)

**Mary:** But oftentimes the pull of the emotional addiction is so strong, that they don't remove themselves from that relationship, or they seek another one that will supply ...

... that's identical. Yes. They'll go from one relationship to another relationship to another relationship that's identical... or you find people making swaps to opposites. In other words, they were abused in one relationship, so they were the abuser in one relationship. They got very angry about the abuse that occurred in the relationship, and so with the next relationship they become the abuser. In other words, they have all the demands and the expectations that the other person must fulfil.

**Mary:** And is it possible for a couple to be in the situation where one is the abuser in one area, and the other is the abuser in another area?

Yes, definitely. It depends completely upon the emotional experience of both of them when they were children and usually, in practice, that's what happens. One abuses in one area, one abuses in the other, and they make allowances. They're told, in marriage counselling, to compromise with each other on these issues, so they make allowances for each other's abuse, and the other makes allowances for each of the other times someone's given them some love. They think that's a loving relationship, and of course it's not a loving relationship, it's a co-dependent relationship primarily, but the majority of people are in them.

**Mary:** To me, it's ...

And can I say...

**Mary:** Go ahead.

The main reason why they're in them is that they meet their addictions, or the majority of their addictions. The reality is, if somebody meets none of your addictions it's highly likely you don't like them. (Laughter)

**Mary:** Unless we are a person who's humble to some of these emotions of fear, shame, grief. That's what I found from this example we're talking about. We are so driven by addiction in our life, that it's basically the primary thing we are seeking, unless we're humble to some of those other emotions.

Correct.

**Mary:** Entire relationships, marriages, families, professions, it's all based on the avoidance of these feelings.

Yes.

**Mary:** And it's epidemic. (Laughs)

It's an epidemic.

**Mary:** A global epidemic.

It's the worst epidemic. It's worse than any disease, because it creates most diseases as well, by the way. So it's worse than any disease. This is one reason too why I'm probably one of the least liked people, because I don't feed people's addictions very much, if at all. The majority of people don't feel comfortable when they're around me. Even though I'm being loving to them and truthful with them, they don't feel comfortable around me, because I'm not feeding what they define as love. But it's just love masquerading... like, it's just addiction masquerading as love. That's all it is, and it is one of the main ways we manage to avoid darker and more painful emotions, hence the desire for it being so strong.

So the emotional way is the first way.

**Mary:** And that's seemingly the biggest lot of addictions on the planet, would you say?

Well I don't know, you know. If you look at how addictions are, when you look at the three on the list, in the end you would probably have to say that they're all pretty much well and extensively used by the majority of people, but I think the emotional ones are sometimes the more difficult ones to see.

**Mary:** They're sort of insidious, aren't they?

They're insidious and they have less judgement attached to them. What I mean by that, is that many times physical addictions have some judgements attached to them, whereas the emotional addictions don't have any judgements attached to them. In fact, we judge them as loving and nice. They are supported in society most of the time. Because of that, unravelling emotional addictions is one of the most difficult undertakings that a person will ever need to undertake in their relationship with God, because God is always wanting you to unravel all of your emotional addictions. (Laughter)

Obviously, God wants to help you to get at what's underneath them, which are all your fears, and the painful emotions that you need to experience that will heal you. God's created a whole law system in the Universe towards the human soul, triggering the fact that when you follow your addictions, you're going to have a more painful life. This is why most people follow their addictions, and eventually see the pain from following their addictions. Then they stop following that addiction only to substitute with another, and then follow that addiction.

Unless we are very sincere, we will never get to the real cause of most of our emotional addictions. We have to be very sincere to get there, and that's great, because with God everything has to be very sincere. (Laughter)

**Mary:** I love that. It requires deep honesty, and wouldn't you want to know yourself that well?

Yes.

**Mary:** And wouldn't God want you to know yourself that well?

Yes, so it requires a huge amount of exercise of your will to actually get to the state where you really do want to know what your addictions are, because those emotional addictions are covering over all the things that can heal you if you experience them. So you definitely want to get there. This is also one reason why most, if not all, processes that people have for their emotions don't work - because the majority of them work around the addiction. The addiction remains in play, and while the addiction remains in play you will never feel the true causal emotion. Of course, most of these techniques that people have to get to their emotions actually do not work.

Unless you have a sincere desire to face your real addictions, and this first group, the emotional ones, are the most difficult to face, probably because they are the most insidious, you are going to very much struggle in your relationship with God, or even in your relationship with yourself, or your relationship with anyone else, because you're not going to be real while you have those addictions.

**Mary:** Okay. Let's go on to the next group.

What's the next group?

**Mary:** Well I'll let you know the next two. We've firstly discussed emotional addictions.

We've focused first on the emotions.

**Mary:** Yes. Then we have physical addictions and substance addictions.

Yes. Let's separate the two of those. I've separated these two on purpose, because physical addictions are not always substances. They can be situations that create your comfort. For example, a lot of people when they've had a hard day's work, the first thing they need is to go home and sit in front of the telly. It's not a substance they're abusing there, but rather a situation that makes them feel comfortable.

**Mary:** To help them ...

To help them avoid the stuff that's triggered them during the day. That's an addiction; it creates an addiction. This is why video games, TV, situations where you want to go down the beach all the time, or you've got to jog every morning. Things that you've got to do every day, are all an indication of physical ways that you are using to avoid specific things. Therefore they are physical addictions. These physical addictions can also be quite insidious, because the majority of them are not frowned upon by society. Society accepts them.

**Mary:** Heck, most of society is in engaged in a vast number of ...

Exactly. In fact, whole businesses are created for them in society; that's the reality. Physical addictions are just as insidious, a lot of times, as emotional addictions because most of the time we believe we like them, but we have no idea why we like them, and we feel the imperative to have them, even though we've got no idea why there's such an imperative to have them. They're usually very, very strong. As soon as they are taken away from us, these particular things, these circumstances... so if we come home and the television's broken, then the average person reverts to rage, and there's the indication of the addiction. They get angry. Every time you get angry you're indicating the addiction's in play, what it is.

We have a way of measuring our addiction through anger, and we'll talk about anger later, but the physical addictions I find interesting because they are, again, another set of addictions that are generally acceptable to society. Most people in society are completely unaware of how they're using them, in an addictive way to suppress emotion, and also they are unaware of the dangers that these particular addictions cause.

The opposite swing of society is, some of society do see these particular addictions, and so they create a whole heap of laws, like "You shouldn't watch telly," or you shouldn't do this or you shouldn't do that."

Some religions, for example, start creating laws of what should and shouldn't be done. They become very strict about what needs to be done with physical addictions, because they see them as addictions, but they're afraid of them still. Instead of acknowledging that you could use it, and it's an exercise of your will, they take away your right to use it. They try to decline you access to your own will.

**Mary:** Yes. Inherent in that though, is the assumption that every part or every use of that physical activity or situation or event is addictive, and that's not necessarily the case either, is it?

Definitely not. In fact, you can use many of these physical things as completely the opposite. And the same applies to your emotions of course - you can use them in a completely opposite circumstance, and actually find the addiction you have, and find the fear that is underneath, by engaging some activities with a different exercise of your will.

**Mary:** Also, the desire driving that activity might not be to suppress. It might be, as you said, to find the addiction.

Correct.

**Mary:** Also, it might be just that we feel that going for a walk is a good thing to do for our body. We don't feel compelled to do it through the desire to control our body or suppress our emotion, we just feel like it's a healthy thing to do. "I'm going to go and do it."

The key is, if you take away the physical act, what does the person do? If they get angry, annoyed, upset, in fact from slight annoyance onwards, they are in addiction with it. That's the measure of whether the addiction's in play or not.

**Mary:** It's a very good thing to point out.

Now that was the second one. That's physical, and we've separated that from substances, I think for fairly obvious reasons. Substances are addictions that you can get met through the imbibing of certain things that make the addiction seem to disappear.

**Mary:** They make emotions ...

... make the underlying emotions seem to disappear, sorry. Now this is like substance abuse if you like. Alcohol, drugs, but they could also be substances that, again, society doesn't seem to have much of an issue with, like food, for example, or ...

**Mary:** Coffee.

Coffee or tea or those kinds of substances that are seemingly very innocent, and yet they're being heavily used to suppress fear-based emotions from being felt.

We could break the substances area into two areas - society-accepted and society-unaccepted. The society-accepted are ones that generally most of us use and feel quite comfortable using, and have plenty of justification to use in our own internal feelings. Then there's the society-unaccepted, and they are the ones that are generally acknowledged as causing the rest of society a lot more damage than the average addiction. This is where drugs fall into that category, for example, and alcohol abuse falls into that category. A person's allowed to be addicted to alcohol as long as they don't get drunk all the time...

**Mary:** As long as they don't...

... and it affects everybody else.

**Mary:** Yes, affect everyone else.

In other words, they're allowed an addiction to a certain point, but once the addiction goes beyond that point, and turns into where we can't really carry on our life in a self-determined manner, from the judgement of society's perspective, then of course it's now judged from society as bad, and therefore needs to be legislated in some way generally.

**Mary:** That's interesting, isn't it, when you're saying we're not functioning how society deems that we should be able to function, when from God's perspective any kind of reliance on any of these things - emotional, physical or substances - means that we're not functioning in the optimal way anyway. We're using a substance; a habit; an emotion; to function, and that in itself is saying there's a big problem.

Yes. If we look at these three: Basically the first one was emotional, and that's... you can see that it's all to do with relationships you're engaged in generally. The second one is physical, and that's all to do with the habits you have, and the third one is substance-based substances, and that's all to do with the physical substances that you're addicted to. All three are effective in helping you avoid underlying painful emotions, but I'd like to point out something else about all three. Some of them do it more easily than others.

For example, if you find that a substance is useful in denying an emotion you'll probably use that substance rather than trying to get a person to help you with the emotion. The reason why is that manipulating a person to help you emotionally is harder than just getting the substance, and so generally we'll be attracted to the substance more than we will be to the emotional addiction associated.

**Mary:** And it depends a lot on our experience, doesn't it?

It does.

**Mary:**... when these emotions were formed and we started suppressing them, because in some situations, in some families perhaps, there aren't as many substances available but there's a very compliant parent who wants to create a co-dependence with their child.

Correct. So that would be our preferred drug of choice.

**Mary:** The emotional suppression. Something that you've got in the notes here that ... the word we haven't mentioned, is that it's a reliance; and that's a good word, isn't it? It's an emotional reliance to suppress that's used. We're relying emotionally on something to suppress other things, or we're relying physically, but that reliance is that we are leaning on it, we're needing to suppress those things.

Yes. In fact for most of us, we need it so much that when it's taken away we're very annoyed. When it's taken away, and that doesn't matter whether it's an emotional one, a physical one or a substance one.

**Mary:** Just one other thought that occurred to me while you were speaking, was about the emotional addictions. You mentioned relationships. We commonly think about that in terms of relationship with people still on Earth, but it's very possible to have these emotional addictions with spirits as well, isn't it?

Of course. Of course. In fact many spirits are involved in all three of these particular things. The spirits are involved in the emotional one because they want the same emotions, and they find that wherever they live in the spirit world they can't get them, so they return back to Earth wanting those particular emotions from other people on Earth.

**Mary:** This is if they're not developed in love themselves, if they've still got addiction.

Correct. Of course you'd only ever engage in any addictions if you're not developed in love. Basically, I've just condemned the entire world (laughter), because we're heavily involved with addictions, which means that we're not very developed in love. I think you can pretty much see from what is happening on the Earth that yes, we're definitely not very developed in love, and therefore we're very heavily involved in our addictions.

But the first one, the emotional one: spirits are often very heavily involved in that, because every time we have an emotional openness to having something be fed, there is a spirit who wants to feed that addiction, as long as we're willing to give them something in return. It's the same kind of relationship as we have developed with other people on Earth, with the exception that we just can't see the person who's supplying the emotion. That's the only exception.

The second thing, with physical situations: often spirits, after they've passed, can no longer have the same physical situations, and so they visit people on Earth, and encourage them to engage in the same physical situations, so that they can have the same experience emotionally. They are often involved in that.

And then spirits are heavily involved in substance abuse. The main reason why is that they can't get those substances in the spirit world, and so what they do is, they over-cloak a person on Earth who's willing in imbibe these substances, to the point where they can share the results of the substances with another person. In other words, the person on Earth will even finish up passing out, and yet the spirit will still be able to feel the results of the substance, through connecting energetically to the person.

Spirits are heavily involved in all three aspects of our addictions.

**Mary:** What I was meaning to say earlier, was that this is not all spirits, globally; it's just spirits who wish to engage addictions themselves.

Of course.

**Mary:** So they haven't progressed very far after they've passed.

Yes, which is a good twenty-one billion spirits or so. It's still a lot. (Laughter) There are three times the number of people than the number of people on Earth - spirits who wish to engage in these activities. At the end of the day, it's highly unlikely that a person experiencing one of these addictions doesn't have at least one spirit with them, who's also encouraging them to meet these addictions.

**Mary:** To meet the addiction.

Yes.

**Mary:** Okay, great. So basically, addictions are there. We rely on them in order to suppress ...

... our painful emotions.

**Mary:**... our painful emotions - fear, grief, shame.

It's not just suppress - it's a way of denying that we even have one. It's a way of resisting the feeling of one. It's a way of suppressing the feeling of one, or it's a way of substituting the feeling of one. Sometimes our grief is so strong we know it's there, but we want to have a more pleasurable feeling, so we'd go and get drunk instead. We know we're sad, but we just don't want to feel it. We're conscious, we're not in denial, we're not in resistance of the emotion because we find it's too hard to resist anymore, and we're trying to suppress it, but we find the only thing that works is substitution. So we could be doing any of those four techniques.

7. How are addictions created?

Well, addictions are created by the desire to do one of four things without painful emotions, in particular with the painful emotion of fear. Those four things are firstly, to deny fear exists, to suppress the feeling of the fear, to resist the feeling of the fear, or to substitute other feelings for the feeling of the fear, in place of the feeling of the fear. If we desire to do any of those four things, we will create addictions, automatically. Addictions are generally automatically created without much thought, as soon as we enter the state where we deny, suppress, resist or want to substitute.

That's the primary way in which all of our addictions are created.

**Mary:** Great!

Pretty concise.

**Mary:** It is! (Laughter) There are a few notes here.

Of course. We need to see the circumstances under which they might be created, and so that's why we've created some extra notes, for people to understand what's going on.

**Mary:** Would you like me to ...

Yes. Let's list them one by one and then we'll discuss them.

**Mary:** We're attempting to deny, resist, or suppress grief by replacing real love with emotions masquerading as love.

Yes, remember there is a direct relationship between fear, and how fear is created, and addictions, and how addictions are created. Remember, if we go back to the fear and how fear was created, we firstly had the withdrawal of love, the withdrawal of truth, the addictions masquerading as love, and the lies masquerading as truth.

Naturally there is going to be a link now, between the way fear is created and how addictions are created, because addictions are created by the suppression, or the attempts to suppress, deny, resist or place something in lieu of your fear. Of course there's going to be a direct relationship between how fear is created and how addictions are created.

In this first particular one, we're looking at lies masquerading as love, aren't we? Whenever there are addictions masquerading as love, what happens there, is that we think we're being loving, and we desperately want that type of love, a feeling of love coming from somebody, but it's a misinterpretation of what real love is.

In other words, we think it's love, but because of our childhood... things that happen due to fear, we are wrong. We actually believe that it's love, but it's not. It's actually an addiction that was getting met, and we only think that somebody loves us when they have some kind of addiction with us.

**Mary:** Okay. So you're saying when I have a lie, a co-dependence, or an addiction that I believe is love, fear is created, and then I can act to suppress ...

... the fear...

**Mary:** ... the fear and the ...

... by wanting more of that co-dependent addiction.

**Mary:** Got you.

In other words, I'm screaming for, I'm desperately wanting somebody to give me that feeling that I interpret as love, because the emotion in me causes me to interpret it as love. Somebody comes along and tells you, "That's not loving," and you go, "Don't be stupid! I know what love is, and that's love," even though you're completely wrong, because you have the emotion inside of you that's causing you to interpret that as love.

That's the trouble with addictions masquerading as love in childhood. It is that it causes this layer of fear, that then have these addictions that are created, that all want the addiction to be met so that you can feel like you're loved.

**Mary:** Is that because without that addiction you felt zero love?

Correct. Somebody can even be loving you, and yet you feel zero love from them, because they are not meeting your addiction. Now what I notice is this, about a lot of spiritual people - they are experts at meeting people's addictions.

**Mary:** Can we call them spiritual in that way?

No, they're not true ... it's not true spirituality but the so-called New Age spiritual people who are lovely people and are leaders in the field, they are experts at meeting people's addictions. Now this is very, very damaging because basically it's like ... it's addictions masquerading as love.

The people like it because in their childhood that's what they had as love. They had all of these addictions masquerading as love, and so now, as an adult, that's what they seek. They seek people who act the same way as their parents acted when they felt "loving," which is really just a co-dependent addiction feeling from their parent. And it's so sad to watch.

Ironically, the opposite also occurs with me. When people come along to me, they say, "I don't feel much love coming out of you." Mmm, I'm not meeting any of your addictions that you believe are loving to meet. And when I don't meet them, you think I'm being nasty to you when I'm actually not. (Laughs) I'm being loving to you in that place, from God's perspective, but you think I'm being nasty because I'm not meeting your addictions.

**Mary:** Yes. I've got ...

You've got hundreds of questions going on there!

**Mary:** ... hundreds of thought processes going on in my head that I can't get out. But yes, absolutely. I witness that all the time, and I also know that it requires us becoming more sensitive emotionally to really sense love, to get beyond some addictions, to really sense it.

Yes.

**Mary:** And I suppose ... let's move on to the next one.

Yes. Let's cover all four, and if we want to discuss more then we'll discuss more.

**Mary:** Okay, so the second one is ...

Remember, we're talking about how addictions are created here.

**Mary:** They're created when we are attempting to deny, resist or suppress fear, by substituting other emotions which are temporarily more powerful.

Yes.

**Mary:** In the first example it was about grief and love, and now we're talking about fear and other emotions.

Yes, and by the way these examples are not exhaustive. There are many things that can create our addictions, but what we need to do is just help people start to analyse what's going on here, rather than give an exhaustive answer about the question.

But if we look at this particular issue: our desire to suppress creates the addiction. Remember, it's the desire to suppress the pain. Now if the pain is sadness and we don't want to feel it, we will create an addiction. The only reason we wouldn't want to feel it, is that we're afraid of feeling it, probably. It's probably another layer on top.

This is why we often have sadness, and a layer over the sadness is fear, and then we fear our sadness, so we've got now fear of sadness, and then of course suppression of the fear causes us to want the addiction.

Our desire to suppress any emotion is going to create, automatically, an addiction. That is an automatic creation. It's not something that you'll even be conscious of. It's an automatic creation from the desire to suppress. This is the thing we need to understand, that just having a desire to suppress, a desire to deny, a desire to resist, or a desire to substitute is going to automatically cause us to substitute.

It's just going to happen automatically, without us even being aware, most of the time, that it's happening. Unfortunately, because of that, we won't even be aware that we're doing it. Most people are completely unaware when they are actually doing it. Completely unaware. It's only once you've released most of your own addictions, that you see it happening everywhere. It's like this disease or virus people have, and you see it happening everywhere and nobody knows, because it's all a part of their normal day-to-day life, in terms of helping them to do one of those four things with their painful emotions.

**Mary:** Yes, you and I have joked in the past about the current trend towards zombie movies, and what is that?... metaphorically demonstrating about everyone wanting to suppress and deny, so much that they become zombie-like, and that's happening all around us anyway.

And yet they're terrified of zombies. (Laughs)

**Mary:** Not so terrified that they don't want to make a lot of movies about it.

Exactly. It's quite interesting what's made, movie-wise, because oftentimes it is all an expression of what is being suppressed emotionally, in the crowd. That's why it has certain people examining it, and they're drawn to it.

**Mary:** We've talked about suppressing fear, and substituting other emotions.

Yes. The first one, the suppression of grief, the desire to suppress grief. Grief is a painful emotion for most people, and for most people, they view it as too painful to feel. I suppose you could say shame also feels like that, but that is a fear-based emotion. Suppression of fear ... fear is usually another emotion, and remember fear ranging from even slight anxiety, most people are not wanting to feel, to absolute terror; most people have no desire to feel that whatsoever, of course. There are huge desires coming out of them to suppress the feeling, hence the attraction to the addictions.

**Mary:** Yes.

If you have a desire to do the opposite, you won't create many addictions at all, and you won't have many addictions automatically. That's the irony, but once you have the addictions, very hard to get rid of them, because the desire to suppress is present. And that's the problem - the desire to substitute is present, the desire to resist is present, the desire to deny is present. If you have any addictions at all, you're going to have to work on the desires that you have in your soul's will, to deny, to resist, to suppress, to substitute.

**Mary:** It's not enough to simply stop doing the physical action or the ...

No, you won't be able to.

**Mary:** It will mutate ...

... into another addiction.

Correct. Yes. While the desire in you to suppress the underlying causal emotion remains, addictions are the necessary result inside of you. They're the thing you have to do in order to help you avoid the painful experience, and so you will do it. It doesn't matter how much you think you won't, you will. (Laughter)

**Mary:** Yes, isn't that the truth? Okay. The third example you're talking about: denying, resisting or suppressing anger by substituting other emotions that are temporarily more powerful.

Yes. Now here I'm speaking not of adult anger, which we'll discuss in a different question. I'm speaking of the childhood anger that was created due the suppression of the grief and fear, that are caused by your environment at the time. See, a lot of children are firstly told they're not allowed to feel their sadness, otherwise they'll be given something to feel sad about.

**Mary:** Which creates fear.

Which creates fear. Then, when they feel afraid, and they act on their fear, the parent goes, "What are you afraid of? You've got nothing to be afraid of," and they're angry with the child, and threaten violence towards them generally. The child is now afraid to express their fear. Now they have to put another layer on that.

If they can't get their addiction met, to suppress their fear in that place, as a child, they revert to anger or rebellion. Usually, most children have that heavily suppressed, because they start to experience anger and then the parents do give them something to be sad about, like belting them or being violent towards them.

That causes the child to learn how to suppress rage and anger at the childhood level. Now they then have huge amounts of fear associated with anger, with the expression of childhood anger, childlike anger. Not a different type of anger, which we'll talk about next, which is the anger that most people also have, and engage in all the time, but rather the anger associated with the suppressed childhood experience as a child.

As a result of trying to get away from that, you will enter addictions, and those addictions will be one of those three forms of addictions, which will be emotional, physical or substance-related, generally.

**Mary:** Yes. Okay. The fourth example is attempting to deny, resist or suppress truth, with lies masquerading as truth.

Yes. Now a lot of the world is addicted to this. The way to stay away from emotion is to deny the truth about the emotion. The way to feel an emotion at the causal level is to accept the truth about the emotion, and the way to stay away from the emotion is to deny the truth about the emotion.

Lies masquerading as truth become very acceptable emotionally to us. We want to hear the lies masquerading as truth rather than hear the truth itself. The truth itself will expose the underlying causal emotion; we don't want that. What we choose to do is accept a whole heap of lies masquerading as truth.

We can give some examples here. For example, most people, when you tell them that their parents didn't love them, they'll say, "That's a lie." They'll say, "My parents loved me." And then you ask them, "Did your parents smack you?" They go, "Yes. But they loved me." There's the lie masquerading as truth. A violent parent doesn't prove love, it proves violence. It proves there was no love in that moment. There's the lie masquerading as truth.

But we want to tell ourselves the lie that our parents loved us, so that we don't have to feel the truth that they did not, and we'd prefer to accept this lie. As a society we prefer to accept the lie, and also as individuals we prefer to accept the lie. This is an example of a lie masquerading as truth that we use to suppress our underlying causal emotions.

**Mary:** Yes.

And that is always going to result in an addiction. We're going to want somebody to tell us the lies, to feed us the lies. See, there's a feeling inside, that none of the lies are real, they're not true, so we want the lie to be told over and over again. We want mummy and daddy to tell us they love us all the time, when we don't feel they love us at all.

**Mary:** Yes, and this was the half-formed question I had earlier, and that was, "When we have a situation in our childhood where lies masqueraded as truth, or where addiction masqueraded as love, don't we somewhere internally have a sense of the lie?"

Not always, no. It depends when it was created. This is the problem: if these lies were created during our formative years when we had very little logical intellect, then it's highly unlikely we will know.

**Mary:** What about as we open up emotionally ourselves and become more sensitive?

Then we will know, but it requires sensitivity, and it requires us to be sensitive to our pain, and most people aren't. While most people are desensitised to their pain, they will not know that it was unloving or loving, in fact, either one. They will think things were loving when they weren't, they'll think things were unloving when they weren't, because they're not sensitive to the truth.

To be sensitive to the truth of any situation you have to be sensitive emotionally, and you have to be sensitive, not to the addictive emotions, but rather to the causal emotions, and the majority of people are only sensitive to their addictive emotions.

It's very, very hard when you're only sensitive to addictive emotions, for you to determine what the truth is. Therefore, you won't feel something was true; you will believe with all your heart that the opposite was true, when it was not. It's only by someone being 'in your face,' logical with you, going, "No it can't be the truth, that can't be right, that can't be right," till you go, "Oh maybe it's not right," usually before you will come to accept the real truth, God's Truth, about the situation.

It's sad what happens to us in that childhood formative experience, because we finish up believing lies are true, we finish up believing truth are lies, we finish up believing love is addiction, we finish up believing the addiction is love, we finish up believing that something that's really love is not love at all. And we come away from the experience with so many false beliefs that we now have to, as an adult, be willing to unravel.

Now God's willing to help us unravel all of these things, but it's just whether we're willing to go through the painful emotional experience. For the majority of people, they aren't willing to go through the painful emotional experience, and so they never unravel it. Even though they hear truth over and over again for many years, they still won't unravel it until they're willing to go through the painful emotional experience.

That's how the human soul functions. Until we're willing to get rid of the resistance emotionally within our soul to accepting truth, we will not accept the truth, no matter how much we tell it to ourselves and to others. We just won't accept it. That's what dominance does in the soul.

We need to understand the principles of how the soul functions, to really understand how to unravel all of this mess that's being created in our soul, but really, the primary creator of the mess is just our unwillingness to feel pain. That's the primary creator of the mess. Once you understand that, it becomes very simple to unravel the mess; you need to learn how to be willing to feel your pain. That's the main thing that you need to learn, in fact. It is quite simple to unravel once you understand that, but unfortunately, for most people there's a deep unwillingness to feel any pain at all, and as a result we revert to addictions and so forth to avoid them.

**Mary:** Yes. Thank you.

Thanks.

8. What is anger?

Before I answer this question, I would probably like to say that there are two types of it. One type is related to our childhood, and the other type is related to most of what we are going to speak about next. Most people's anger has nothing to do with their childhood anger, unfortunately. Most people's anger has a lot to do with what they want to express as an adult, for reasons that they have, as an adult, to suppress their fear.

We need to firstly see that a childhood anger expression is going to be very, very different from an adult anger expression. Childhood anger expression is generally not projected at anyone else. It doesn't blame the world or the universe for it. It feels the pain of the hurt, and its own resistance to the pain and of the hurt that is within. That's the kind of anger some people have to feel.

I say, "Some people," because obviously sometimes we were so goaded as children, that we started to get angry and then that was also suppressed, so obviously it's an emotion that we have to feel.

**Mary:** As adults we have to let it out.

As adults, we have to connect to that childhood expression of anger, but when we do connect to that childhood expression of anger, we will not be projecting it upon anyone. We will not be yelling and screaming at somebody. We will be feeling it internally and expressing it to ourselves, generally. It's very, very different to the type of anger that we're now going to talk about, which is the most common anger that everybody has.

**Mary:** Can I just clarify? You said, "we will be expressing it to ourselves." You don't necessarily mean "towards" ourselves, do you?

No. I mean in an environment where we, ourselves, are alone, and where we feel the pain of our own resistance, which is very, very different to blaming everybody else for things, which is what most people's anger is for. Also, we start to recognise that as a child, it was our desire to feel powerful in very powerless situations. We allow ourselves to feel the grief associated with that kind of anger.

You will feel the age of the anger too under those circumstances. If the anger was created when you were five, you will feel like you are five years old going through it. You won't be expressing it to people, because the reality is that as a child you didn't express it to people. That's the reason why it was suppressed - because you didn't express it. The reality is that you won't be projecting it at other people, because you never would have chosen to do such a thing as a child. You'll just feel it, and feel the pain of it. That's not the anger that we're now going to speak of.

**Mary:** Okay, let's speak of this. This is the most common form of anger?

This is the most common form of anger that we're now going to speak of. The most common form of anger is an unmet desire to have your addictions met. Can we say that again?. It arises because you have not met your addictions. In other words, the average person creates a whole set of addictions which are all about denying, suppressing, resisting or substituting their hard childhood emotions, their causal emotions, their painful emotions. They want to suppress and deny all of those things.

What they do is, they create a whole layer of addictions. When their addictions are no longer met by their environment, or by the substance, or by the physical act, they revert to anger and rage. Now anger is stored energy. It's an energy that can be stored or expressed. When it's in motion, when it becomes an emotion, it will be expressed as slight annoyance right the way through to extreme violent rage.

**Mary:** Right. It can be anything in that.

It can be anything in between that range. Whenever we talk about anger, we are talking about a group of emotions, not just a single emotion, a group of emotions ranging from just a tiny little bit of annoyance, right the way through to extreme rage. The other thing about this anger, if you like, is that it is a desire to feel certain things that cause it. It's not only just a desire to get your addictions met, but rather a desire when your addictions aren't met, to get them met.

Initially, when we want our addictions met, we're quite gentle with it all. We're generally gentle with the people around us. We're gentle with the substances. We go, "Oh that feels nice," and we have a bit more of that. But after a while, it becomes unsatisfying. If it ever does become unsatisfying, we are no longer satisfied by having our addictions met in that way. It's not enough for us, and when it's not enough for us, now we revert to the anger-based feeling. The anger-based feeling gives us a lot of things, which we will go through. I think we have listed four things that it gives us that we will need to go through.

**Mary:** Yes, or really why we use it. What we're attempting to do by getting angry.

Correct. There are reasons why we use it. What we're attempting to get when we get angry. We need to understand these particular things about anger. This is the kind of anger that is completely out of harmony with love. It's got nothing to do with our childhood experience at all. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It's the denial of our childhood experience that causes this kind of anger. We're trying as hard as we can to deny what we experienced, the experience we locked up as a child, so we revert to this kind of anger instead.

**Mary:** That's very important, what you just said. The expression of this kind of anger does the opposite of helping our soul to grow?

Correct. It damages our soul, and it damages the souls of others, particularly if we become violent with it. It's extremely damaging to our soul and the souls of others.

**Mary:** Okay, can I clarify that a bit more?

Sure.

**Mary:** Because obviously you've said that this kind of anger can also be stored.

It can be stored.

**Mary:** Or, it can be in motion.

It can be in motion.

**Mary:** Or expressed.

Yes.

**Mary:** When we're expressing this kind of anger, we're actually heading away from any kind of causal emotion. We're actively trying to suppress our childhood experience.

We're using this kind of anger as a tool to suppress causal emotions, which will help us heal, so it's of no benefit to us to even experience this kind of anger.

**Mary:** Okay.

There's no single benefit to even experience it, really. We need to find what's under it. Sometimes when you experience it, you will find what's under it, but you need to experience it in a very, very controlled environment, if you're ever going to not damage yourself or other people. This is where you need to be completely alone, experiencing this kind of anger. Otherwise you are definitely going to damage yourself and other people. Even if you're alone, there are times when you are damaging other people with it, particularly if they are open to the absorption of the emotion. Then you are definitely damaging other people with it, even if you are alone.

**Mary:** I know that later on in this series we have questions from people who speak to that.

Yes, and we need to also say that this kind of anger is the result of denial. It's the result of suppression. It's the result of resistance. It's the result of a substitution. We want the substitute for the harder emotion. It's all about using our will to get the substitute. It's got nothing to do with using our will in harmony with love anymore. It's got everything to do with using our will to get the substitute, to get the effect we want. And that is completely out of harmony with love. That's going to damage our soul every time we engage it.

**Mary:** Okay. Let's talk about what we're trying to do with this kind of anger.

Yes.

**Mary:** The first thing is: to control or manipulate the environment back into supporting our addictions.

Correct. That's the primary reason why we revert to this kind of anger. We want whatever is happening in our environment to go back to the way it was.

**Mary:** Because that's where addictions were being met, and we felt further distance from ...

... from the true causal emotion we need to feel. We're using anger as a tool to change our environment back to the condition that's unloving. Actually, we're trying to force our environment to become more unloving to suit our addiction. This is why it's damaging, because it's trying to force other people, or things in our environment, to meet our own unloving state. That's a very, very unloving choice.

**Mary:** It is, and in prior discussions today you have talked about how God's Laws are operating to help expose what is suppressed within us, and we're acting in addiction to suppress it further rather than have it exposed. Then, when we act in this anger, we're even acting further out of harmony with God's Laws, aren't we?

Correct. We're now resorting to violence. Even if it's emotional, it's still violence. You're trying to force the environment, something or someone in the environment, to go back to their old behaviour. That's not honouring free will at all. It's not honouring the free will of people in your environment. It's also not honouring the fact that they're actually more loving to you when they don't do that, so it's not honouring love at all. It's not honouring truth at all. In fact, it's in complete denial of love, truth, and also, complete denial of a person's free will. It's the result of you not wanting to take personal responsibility for what's inside of you. That is a very, very damaging course of action, and most people resort to it, because it gets their environment to go back to what it was before. It's a very, very damaging action. Very damaging action. One of the most damaging things you can do to your soul is to resort to that kind of anger.

**Mary:** Okay. To control or manipulate the environment back into supporting our addictions?

Yes, that's number one.

**Mary:** Number one. Number two: to punish our environment for not supporting our addictions.

Yes. This is even darker, because basically what we're saying to our environment is, we're saying, "You're not doing what I want you to do, so now what I'm going to do is, not only am I going to force you to do what I want you to do, but I'm going to hurt you for not doing it." This is like wanting to punish or harm somebody because they didn't meet your addictions. That's a very damaging course of action. The reason most people who die and pass, pass into the hells of the spirit world, is that they frequently have this emotion, this emotion that they feel completely willing to punish other people for what those other people didn't do, or should have done for them. It's a very, very damaging course of action to take for your own soul, and towards another, unfortunately.

**Mary:** Some real life examples of this might be: a parent belting a child, or a person ...

Yes. A parent resorting to violence just because the child didn't do something the parent wanted.

**Mary:** Yes, and it's a punishment, rather than just a yelling match to get them to do what they want, which might be the first form of anger. The second form is taking it beyond that to actually physically harming...

... harming the child, and creating violence towards the child, from a physical perspective as well as an emotional one. The first level you could say, that we went through, creates emotional violence. The second level is willing to resort to physical violence, generally. It's a desire to punish another person. It's a desire to make their life hard, to make their life difficult, to make their life more difficult than it currently is. As soon as you have that emotion, you're way out of harmony with love at that point.

**Mary:** In the context of, say, a relationship: when I have a co-dependent addiction that you've been meeting for me ...

Let's say, I make you feel safe and secure.

**Mary:** Safe and secure. We get in a situation where I no longer feel safe and secure.

Let's say I lost my job.

**Mary:** Yes, lost your job.

We've not got a regular income anymore. You no longer feel safe and secure.

**Mary:** I don't want to feel terribly afraid. My addiction to feeling safe and secure that was met by you and your job is no longer there...

... so you start projecting at me that I've got to go and get a job.

**Mary:** Get a job. Hurry up. Every morning before seven a.m. I'm yelling at you, "Come on ..."

Or you could just do the manipulative thing. For example, just going, "Oh, I've got to get you up. Why don't you go out today? Why don't you ...?" Making all these suggestions. You're not making them for my sake. You're making them for your own. You're making them so that you don't have to feel certain things, which is selfish.

**Mary:** That would be an example of the first type of anger. Whether it's overt or covert, there's a control and manipulation going on.

It doesn't matter. Even if it's covert, it's like, "I'll make you brekkie, and I'll get you ready," and all that kind of stuff. That's all covert rage.

**Mary:** "Good on you. Off you go." Covert rage, yes. Then, if I was to take it to the second level of punishing, after three months and you still haven't got a job, I might resort to going, "Well, you're useless. The problem is that you are lazy," trying to then attack your character...

... or nature, or attack what my situation personally is.

**Mary:** That would be an example of punishing?

You're now trying to punish the person for no longer allaying your fear.

**Mary:** That's when we get into a darker state with this anger?

Much darker state with the anger now.

**Mary:** Got you.

You might not have resorted to anything physical, but you're now in a violent state with this anger. You're not only using emotional manipulation techniques now, you're using outright attack to try to manipulate the person into changing their behaviour. That's very, very damaging now. You would probably be saying very cutting things at that stage, trying to be humiliating. If you don't resort to physical violence, you will come close at some times. You will yell and scream, and throw things, and whatever.

**Mary:** Yes. Thank you for clarifying that. I wanted to make it clear that we can punish without physical violence, can't we?

Certainly. You can even do things like, "Oh, stuff this. I'm going to go and have sex with somebody else who makes me feel safe," which means you've said nothing to the person who makes you feel unsafe, and you've got no idea inside of you why you went and had sex with somebody else, but you felt drawn to do so, just because that person made you feel safe somehow, and you felt sexually attracted to them as a result. That is an act of rage.

**Mary:** An act of rage and addiction on your part.

... and addiction on your part, yes. Very damaging actions, and if you examine society and the world, you see this happening all the time, every day, these kinds of actions.

**Mary:** We don't necessarily call it anger.

No, we don't. We often call it completely different things. "Oh, that person's looking after themselves now." "Oh, that person's got some self-worth now." No, oftentimes they're just enraged and they are using passive-aggressive, or aggressive ways, to manipulate their environment to get back their addictions.

**Mary:** Okay, the third type of anger. We blame our environment for not supporting our addictions.

Yes. This is a bit different to punishment, in the sense that we're basically saying, "Our environment is responsible for not having our addictions met." In other words, we're not even seeing it as a personal responsibility, for our own addictions to be met by ourselves. We think the environment is responsible for our addictions to be met, and our environment is also responsible to help us suppress our deeper emotions. We blame externally. We blame everyone other than ourselves. In other words, we no longer take personal responsibility for any of our own feelings about what is happening. That is an external blame of other people, of other things, in order to avoid taking personal responsibility.

**Mary:** What would an example of that be? Blaming the government, blaming the train system, blaming the ...?

In the previous example; I had sex with him because he was attractive. There's a blame of your environment. It had nothing to do with the fact that he was attractive. It had everything to do with the fact that you didn't feel safe.

**Mary:** Right.

You're blaming the environment for the action you took, having sex with somebody who was not your marriage partner. Blaming it on something. "He was attractive, and that's why I did it," when it had nothing to do with why you did it. The reason you did it was that you were in denial of certain emotions, in particular, emotions of safety and security, and he made you feel safe and secure so you had sex with him.

**Mary:** It's almost like a bit of misdirection. It's a bit of saying ...

It's a way to avoid personal responsibility, every time.

**Mary:** Yes. "I'm a victim of this circumstance," whatever it is.

Correct. We portray ourselves as victims of the circumstance and we're not to blame for our actions. "I'm punishing you right now and I'm also being manipulative right now, but I'm not to blame for my actions. It's because you did something."

**Mary:** Again, this is very dark, isn't it?

Very dark. Very dark behaviour. Any person who engages in that behaviour will be in the hells of the spirit world. Doesn't matter what their face portrays, or anything else. They will arrive in the hells of the spirit world if they pass right at that point.

**Mary:** Okay, fourth type of anger. It's when we use anger to feel powerful, and avoid feeling weak.

Yes. This is a very common use of anger, the use of anger to avoid the powerless emotions. Powerless emotions are like fear and terror, and sadness and grief. They are emotions where we don't feel powerful anymore. We don't feel like we're in control anymore. We don't feel like we've got self-determination anymore. What we do, is we revert to rage or anger in order to feel powerful, to feel like we have control again. Sometimes we're even angry with ourselves, or angry with other people in that state. It doesn't really matter as long as we feel powerful in that state. When we feel powerful we get to avoid all the powerless emotions. That's one of the reasons why we revert to anger as well, in order to feel the power of it.

Anger is a very strong emotion, and often we do very strong things when we're angry, whereas when we think of emotions like fear, or sadness, we don't see them as strong emotions. We see them as weak emotions generally. Society sees them as weak emotions generally. Reverting to a strong emotion so that we can avoid the appearance of having a weak one, is a very common reason why people get angry. Men in particular do this, because men are told that when they are afraid or sad, they are weak. What they do is, they often revert to anger in order to feel powerful and to demonstrate their power. Obviously it's not true. In fact, you are far less powerful angry than you were feeling a causal emotion, from a soul perspective, but most people aren't aware of that of course.

**Mary:** That is based on a lot of false beliefs that we have taken on in our childhood about the nature of emotion, and what equates to feeling weak, and strong and powerful, and powerless.

Yes well, let's be more correct. It equates to the childhood beliefs that were forced upon us by our environment, because it's highly unlikely we would have taken them on unless they were forced upon us.

**Mary:** Because taking them on, or having them forced upon us, made us suppress huge parts of our experience.

Correct. Also, in our childhood experience, many of us have experienced deep feelings of powerlessness, and terror, and fear, all sorts of emotions because of what happened as a child. As an adult we're trying quite strongly to avoid those feelings, so we revert to a powerful emotion, in order to avoid all of these emotions we judge as weak and insipid. Of course our environment taught us, as a child that these emotions were weak and insipid. Fear and sadness were weak and insipid. What we do is a direct result of these feelings being forced upon us. We were taught it by our environment. It's not something that we would have naturally assumed, without it being taught by somebody.

The average child is very humble to their own emotions, particularly grief. Most children, within the first day of their life, cry quite easily. it demonstrates how humble they are to the emotion of grief. That only changes because the environment forced a change.

**Mary:** Basically, you've outlined four different types, or reasons.

Of course we could list more. I think it's very important for our listeners to see that we could have listed more, but these give them some ideas for themselves when they revert to this adult rage that they have, or anger that they have, or annoyance that they have. What's really going on inside of themselves? There are a lot of quite dark things going on inside of yourself when you revert to this behaviour. You need to allow yourself to experience the anger still, but as soon as you experience it using one of these four methods, you are way out of line with experiencing harmony with any love. You can be angry and not sin, that's the reality. You can be angry and still be loving, by experiencing your anger in harmony with love. All of these ways that we've already listed are out of harmony with love. They are all ways to control and manipulate your environment, blame your environment, punish your environment, or feel powerful.

None of them work, by the way. None of them will get you to your causal emotion. None of them will help you get closer to God. In a way, they are all pointless experiences, unless you are feeling your anger and doing it in a manner that's in harmony with love, which is just feeling it.

**Mary:** Being responsible about the expression of it.

Yes, and understanding that you have it because you want some addictions met, and being willing to go and find those addictions, whatever they are, to be willing to face them. "What are my addictions? Why do I get angry?" If you look at the average guy who gets jealous of his girlfriend, he's angry because of something going on inside of him. He's not feeling safe in the relationship anymore. That's why he's angry. It might be something where she isn't making him feel safe. It might be something where he is unsafe, or it might be something where he isn't but he's just imagining that he is. It could be either. If he allows himself to feel it without projecting all the crap on her, then he'll find out, "Oh no, it's because I do feel this leakage of sexual energy from you to that person, and that's what makes me feel unsafe. Sure, I've got to go and feel unsafe about that, but I think you've got an issue with the leakage of sexual energy that you've got to address, if you want to have a relationship with me.

You can work through those particular issues, as long as you're honest about feeling it and owning it yourself. If the man in that state says, "Right, I'm going to get violent with you"... If you're the woman, and I'm the man in that state, and I get violent with you, to force you to not be involved with that man in any way, then I am now completely in a very dark state with regard to the exercise of my anger. I'm not owning it, I'm not feeling it, I'm not looking at the reason why I have it. I'm blaming you. I'm trying to punish you for what I believe is your creation of my anger. That's all out of harmony with self-responsibility, all out of harmony with love.

**Mary:** The anger itself is generated because we don't want to be responsible for what's already in us.

Correct. The anger is coming from an addiction inside of us. Unless we're willing to find that addiction, we will revert to anger every time that addiction is not met. So we need to see that the anger is a direct result of our own desire to avoid our fears, and our own desire to have our addictions met. We need to see it as such. We need to be willing at some point, if we ever want to be close to God, or ever want to love, we need to be willing at some point to go, "I want to see what the addiction is. I want to feel that addiction instead of getting angry all the time. I want to feel the fear that I have that's underneath that addiction. I want to feel what's driving me towards this rage."

It's only then that the rage will dissipate. The rage will dissipate when you're actually willing to feel the addiction itself, and to feel the terror, or fear, that drives it. Then you won't have any problem with the rage anymore. It will be something that's rare in your life, if it ever occurs at all.

**Mary:** Thank you. That's a great description, and a very comprehensive explanation of the different damaging ways we frequently use anger. What I'm thinking about as you're speaking about that, is that we can do all these things. Control or manipulate, punish, blame, feel powerful and avoid feeling weak; and it's not necessarily through a screaming rage. Sometimes it's a mild sense of what we call frustration, but we are actually acting to control, and punish and blame, through that emotion.

Yes, you can even feel it as emotional pushiness. You meet a lot of people who never revert to overt rage, who are terribly emotionally pushy. They have huge amounts of anger in them. They have learnt to not express their anger verbally, or emotionally. They have learnt to become pushy emotionally, to try to force you emotionally. They become persistent people who just nag, and nag, and nag. There's another expression of anger.

There are so many passive-aggressive ways to express anger. The majority of people learnt many ways, because as a child they couldn't overtly express anger. They couldn't do it as they really felt it, so they learnt to do it in different ways. They learnt it by becoming resistive, by manipulation, by control, by all sorts of other methods, but it's still anger. It's still anger driving the behaviour.

At some point they're going to have to connect to that anger and feel it, and feel what the addiction is that's driving it. We see many people in that state. There are many people who come along to our sessions. After five years they've not got beyond their anger, and they believe they have. They believe they are no longer angry, or whatever, and they're just highly manipulative individuals who have no desire to get into any of their addictions. The more we tell them, the more enraged they become. Eventually they burst. Usually it's not pretty, because it usually means that they harm a lot of people once they burst. Many people have no idea how to experience anger in a way that doesn't sin. The reason is that they don't want to take any responsibility for it.

**Mary:** I was going to say; it's not like you haven't told us all how to do it. It's just there's a desire lacking to do it.

Correct. It requires, again, a great deal of exercise of your will to experience your anger in a way that's in harmony with more love, than it does to do all of these other things we've been talking about. Most people don't have that much desire to have their addictions confronted. They have a desire to have their addictions met, not confronted. Hence, anger is often the common way of reverting, or getting the environment back to meeting your addictions. That's what anger is, and it's such a damaging emotion. It, in itself, is the most common emotion in the hells of the spirit world. Anger and fear are the two most common emotions in the spirit world, in the hells.

Those two emotions obviously range from slight annoyance, and then slight anxiety to whatever it is, the other extreme in terms of fear and anger. The reality is that they are both very, very damaging emotions on this planet, and also in the spirit world, in the hells of the spirit world. They are very damaging emotions to the soul of an individual, and unless you are willing to feel them, you will never progress. Ever. There are many people who have never progressed for thousands of years, as a result of being resistive to truly feeling their anger or their fear, rather than just reverting to their anger in order to get their addictions met.

**Mary:** Yes, well we've talked a lot about co-dependent addictions, haven't we? Sometimes we have it between us on Earth. Sometimes we have it between us and individual spirits. But sometimes it feels to me like at the moment the Earth, and the lower spheres of the Spirit world, are in one huge co-dependence, where fear and anger is fostered and honoured in the lower realms, and here on Earth.

And honoured. To give you an example, a few examples. I think we mentioned it in other FAQs but, this whole thing that happened with World Vision. That's an example. World Vision wanted to change their rules to allow for married gay couples to work in their organisation. There was a huge amount of anger in the Christian community, which is all based on their own addictions. None of it is loving, it doesn't matter what reason they give. "Oh, the Bible says this," or whatever, none of it's loving. None of it's in harmony with love, and the fear of the World Vision organisation was manipulated through this anger, which was the purpose of the people who were angry. There's an example of somebody who is going to arrive in the hells. A Christian who did that, those Christians who did that, will arrive in the hells because they have reverted to violence and manipulation, in order to get what they want.

They are willing to even see the death of children in order to get what they want. That's how strong their manipulation of their terror, and their manipulation driven by their addiction, was. There's an example. It's an example of how the world works. We've had recent examples in our personal lives, of trying to get venues for us to do presentations in, or Assistance Groups in. You see these examples all the time, where compromises are constantly met, based upon who is the person most angry. Now if we all base our life around the person who is most angry, there is not going to be any improvement in what happens on Earth, at all. If we do keep doing that in the spirit world, there will be no improvement in what happens in the spirit world either, in the lower spheres.

We have to learn to stop doing that. We have to learn to stop supporting anger. Start seeing anger as a desire in the individual to just have their addiction met, and to refuse the meeting of that addiction. We need to learn that. These are all things we need to learn about anger.

**Mary:** Thank you.

9. How is anger created?

Anger is created by the desire to have our addictions met, so we can avoid certain other feelings. Basically, that's how anger is created. It's a desire to feel more powerful, a desire to feel in control, a desire to feel that we have our life in order, and so forth. When we don't have those feelings we revert to rage in order to get our environment to conform back to our personal desires, so it's also a desire to manipulate the environment in some way.

This is why I say a lot of anger is actually very passive, like, passive-aggressive. Even just a little tiny resistance, it is often rage driving it. We're not allowed to express the rage, so what we do is, we just be resistive. That's the way of expressing our anger and displeasure, about our environment not meeting our addictions anymore. It's obviously very damaging to do such things to our soul.

**Mary:** Basically you're saying: when our addictions aren't met, and we have the desire for them to still be met, we can get angry. But does everyone who stops having their addictions being met, who still wants them to be met, do they always resort to anger?

Yes, everyone. In fact it's the only course of action unless you're willing to see your addictions. You have two options basically, whenever you have addictions not being met. You can feel that you have the addiction, and that would mean then that you wouldn't get angry at all. By the time you've gotten to the angry stage, you've already demonstrated that you have no desire to know what the addiction is. The anger is really demonstrating a lack of desire for the addiction.

**Mary:** So everyone is going to get angry, but they might express that, or display that, or behave in different ways in order to get the addiction met again.

Correct. They might be manipulative. They might be verbally or emotionally manipulative. They might be passive-aggressive. They might be absolutely aggressive. They might be in a rage. They might resort to violence. There's a whole range of behaviour we resort to in our anger, in order to go back to getting our addictions met, but it's all angry. The whole lot is angry. It's just a group of angry emotions that's driving the whole thing.

**Mary:** We can even internalise the anger can't we, and punish ourselves in an effort to manipulate others?

We can, but it's always got a purpose of manipulation of others. It's very, very rare that we revert to self-punishment without there being a motivation of manipulating others. In fact, I've never really seen too many people resort to that place. People who resort to self-punishment are generally always attempting to manipulate someone else through it. There may be a few exceptions to that, but generally that's the case.

I think here, we've also raised three issues. We would like to discuss with people about what it does. We've covered this also in the "What is Anger" section, to a degree. We could look at some of the purposes of the anger I suppose, the reasons why we want to create it.

We've looked at how it is created. It's created because we want our addictions met, and they're not being met. We've decided internally that they need to be met, they should be met, and that it's somebody else's responsibility to meet them, or something else's responsibility to meet them, so we choose to engage our rage, as a result. It's a choice. It's a free will choice we're making. It's actually a choice made by our soul, and generally driven by our intellect, to happen. We know it at the time too. That's the sad thing. Most people who revert to rage know they're being angry, and they know they're doing it to manipulate.

**Mary:** To try to force the environment back into a state that they feel comfortable in.

Yes. Back to comfort, back to meeting their addictions. Most of the time we know that's what we're trying to do.

**Mary:** Maybe I could read a quote from some notes here that you've prepared. "Anger is our chosen response towards our environment for no longer meeting our addictive demands and expectations."

Yes, and I think that's a very important statement. that it's our chosen response. We like doing it, because the alternative is too terrible for us. The alternative is to feel the addiction and acknowledge we have one, which often feels shameful, then going into the underlying fear that we have, which often feels terrifying, and then the underlying grief that is generally suppressed by the fear, which feels very, very sad. We want to avoid all of those emotions. We've now got at least three sets of emotions, by this layer, to address.

We want to go back to having control over our environment, rather than dealing with all of those emotions. It lacks personal responsibility doing it, but we choose to do it and it's a choice. It's a real, decided choice inside of our soul to go there. Because it's such a strong decision to go there, it instantly damages our soul further. God made it that way because God wants to give us the feedback that this kind of anger is very, very bad and damaging, for ourselves, for our environment, and for other people. It's the precursor to physical, sexual and emotional violence towards others, which obviously causes a very rapid degradation in our soul condition, if we engage in those things.

**Mary:** Can I read another sentence from your notes here?

Sure.

**Mary:** "Anger is created in order to feel more personal power or control over our own pain."

Yes, and this is what we need to start seeing it as. It's a personal, selfish response in order to avoid just what's going on inside of ourselves. It's got nothing to do, really, with anyone else. It's got everything to do with what we're attempting to avoid inside of ourselves. This is how we need to see it. We want power and control over what is happening inside of our self. We don't want to feel out of control with regard to our painful emotions. We want to feel in control of these painful emotions, and that's what causes us to revert to rage and anger. That's what causes us to project it outwards from ourselves, because we don't want to feel what's going on inside of ourselves, so all of this stuff is an avoidance.

Even fear is like that, an avoidance of what's going on inside of yourself. You can justify it any way you want, but in the end, this is inside of you, and if you ever want to be at-one with God, or if you ever want to be a loving person, you're going to need to have ways to release all of this, without reverting to the attempt to control your environment.

**Mary:** Or even the attempt to control our own pain. We're going to have to move through that, aren't we?

Exactly, yes. We keep saying this in all of these questions: the attempt to control our pain or to suppress our pain, and to not feel our pain, is the major cause of all of the unloving actions that are ever taken. If you just allow yourself to feel your pain, you will immediately improve in your condition of love, because you will no longer take actions that damage other people or yourself.

**Mary:** Because you no longer act to suppress the pain.

Correct. Just that one simple act, that one simple change. It's quite a difficult change for most people to make, but it's a simple change in the sense that it's simple to understand. The willingness to feel our own pain will cause us to shift through all sorts of unloving behaviour that we would previously have reverted to, just because we were trying to avoid our own pain.

**Mary:** That probably leads to the final quote. "Anger is a desire within us to blame and punish our environment for what is within ourselves."

Yes. You can see that it's like we're desiring to not take any responsibility for what's inside of us. Now I'm not saying here that we have to take responsibility for what or who created it, because most of the time, or a fair portion of the time, we did not create a lot of the original damage. We have since made choices that are unloving, which have definitely created damage. We're not immune from the creation of ongoing damage. In other words, there are things within us that were created by others, and then we made unloving choices ourselves. The damage created by that has been created by ourselves, not others. There are both sets of emotions within us. They are within us. Only we can control their release. Only we can release them. Nobody else can do it for us.

Every time we blame our environment and try to gain power over our environment, and try to affect our environment in some way, all we're doing is telling ourselves that we're not taking any personal responsibility for what's within us. We don't believe that we should have to feel what's within us. And we do. That's the reality. We do, because we are the only ones who can. Once it's in us, nobody else can release it for us. Only we can release it.

We do have to take responsibility for what's in us, even though we don't need to take responsibility for everything that's in us in terms of its creation. We do have to take responsibility for everything that's in us, in terms of its release. It's so important that we understand this. Because most of us don't want to do that, we revert to anger.

We don't want to take that responsibility. We don't want to have to feel everything. We want the people who created it to have to feel it. If it's not them, then we want somebody else to have to feel it instead. The reality is, for many of us, our parents have died or whatever, so we no longer feel we can blame them, so what we do is, we blame everybody else for what they did, which is basically causing damage to everyone else, because we do not want to take responsibility for feeling what's inside of us ourselves, without hurting others. That's our primary reason for anger. It's such a damaging emotion and we need to understand and recognise that it is. There is only one way to feel it that's in harmony with love. That is without projecting it on anyone else. That is an exercise of your will. You can do that by using your will.

This is how powerful your will is, but for most of us, our will is exercised completely differently to that. What we do is, we exercise our will to blame everybody, to hurt anybody else, punish them. We want to get everything back to how it was, and so we manipulate and control. That's how we use our will. If we continue to do that, we will never be at-one with God. We're never going to understand love, and we are never going to be happy because we're going to continually create more pain for our own soul.

I feel it's very important that we understand the relationship between these three groups of emotions, so I suppose that's what we could say in conclusion to this whole session. It is that we really need to make sure that we understand the relationship between all of these emotions, the relationship between fear... Grief firstly, the underlying causal grief, the fear that covers it, the addictions that we use to get away from our fears, and then the anger that we use to manipulate people into meeting our addictions.

We need to understand the relationship between these emotions before we can really understand any of our emotional problems. What we would like to recommend to everybody to do, is to actually go through these FAQs, these ones that we've just covered so far on emotion, and on the ones on How The Human Soul Functions, and see what their belief systems are, about why they feel they should be able to revert to anger, why they feel they should have their addictions met, why they feel avoidance of their causal emotions is actually going to work.

**Mary:** I feel this session in particular has been a great session, in terms of an introduction to the really core principle emotions that affect us negatively, and that we have the power to deal with in a different way, and change our lives around completely, and certainly grow in love - grow towards God.

**Mary:** Thank you so much for your time today, because I feel that everything we've covered is so powerful, and I would encourage people viewing this session to get really honest and real with yourself. Living in denial of what is within us just delays our progress even further. I know that coming to grips with the fact that we've got lots of addictions, and lots of anger, and the fact that our pain is never going to leave us until we deal with it, can feel fairly painful and difficult...

... and confronting, and all those things.

**Mary:**... and confronting, and we have all these judgements....

... and humiliating, and all those other things.

**Mary:** All these things. All these things, but delaying the process doesn't make it easier. Actually commencing the process, if we do it sincerely, things do start to feel better and more real. We begin to work through all these false beliefs that we have, so I would really encourage you to start that journey.

Yes. What we're going to do next time we get together with you, is we're going to start answering people's individual questions about their emotions, their emotional feelings, and what they feel about different things, their relationship with God, and so forth. We're going to focus on looking at different emotions that are contained within these questions that individuals have asked. There's quite a few hundred of them, so obviously this is going to happen over months, or perhaps even years, the way it is going.

What we would like to do is, cover a lot of these emotional questions, because it is such an essential part of your future development. You need to allow yourself to become sensitive emotionally. You're going to need to become sensitive to God's emotions if you're ever going to become at-one with God. To feel God's Love you're going to need to feel all of your resistances to feeling it, so we would like to encourage you to feel your emotions, and be more honest about your emotions, more honest about your fears, your addictions, and your anger, all the denials that you have, because that will help you in your relationship with God.

Hopefully these sessions have helped you a little along that path. Thanks for your time, and we would like to thank Mary, who has done all of this interviewing, for her time, and Lena and Igor who are behind our cameras, as well. Thanks guys.

