(dramatic operatic music)
- Whoa! Nice camera work, Matt!
- Guys, we're in
Australia, we're in Sydney.
- Oh my gosh!
- And we're gonna,
we're gonna, we're gonna
get to see what we came
here for. We're getting...
- Ha ha! Oh no!
- We're gonna look at animals.
- Yeah, we have our wonderful
tour guides over here.
- Yes, they're here. Tiffany and Havana,
and they're gonna keep us
from acting a fool, right?
- Yeah, sure.
- Okay, all right.
- Great.
- Well then let's, let's, I
wanna see some cuddly animals.
- Lets go ride an emu!
(Australian bush music)
- Its time to become the
garbage bag that I am.
- [Camera Woman] Your
heads too big, Shayne!
- And then do we turn the fan on and
they blow up and we get big?
- [Camera Woman] Yup.
- I wish to join you, brother,
I am your brother, brother.
- Wonder if we feel comfy to the koala
when we're wearing these,
like, its not pleasant,
like, we're gonna be like, "Ohh!"
and they're gonna be like "Ehh, rubber."
- And over here we have the first beast,
uh Ryan Lochte over here.
- 1, 2, 3, 4, I lost count.
(cheerful music)
- 3-2-1 One big smile and split
there's a Koala there 3-2-1!
and it had big friend,
off to the side 3-2-1!
- They fit a guy inside
this, inside this wall.
- Ian I think that's
you. I think that's Ian.
- That's my, that's my long
lost Australian cousin.
- Welcome to my favorite
coffee. What is my favorite...
- I like how any white guy
with a beard and glasses
just looks like Ian. Ian
is the default setting
for Caucasian.
(island music)
- Guys, I need a shower.
- [Camera Man] Coughing
- We're about to, we're
about to hold a koala.
- I'm going to give him a
kiss right on the eyeball
and just go (lip smack).
- [Camera Woman] That's not allowed
- You don't know that.
You're not Koala president.
- [Camera Woman] I do know that.
I watched it all the rules up here.
(gently chiming bell music)
- [Camera Woman] Think of the Koalas!
- It was very sweet. It
looked me dead in the eyes
and it said "Be my daddy."
(laughing)
- This is the closest I've ever come to
breaking down crying because
of something being cute.
I felt, I've never felt more like Olivia
then in that moment.
- And you're just like, uh, please
I want to take you home forever.
They said I couldn't.
- Yeah the cutest thing about it
is they actually don't have a lot of fat
on them. It's all just intestine.
- [Camera Woman] Yeah?
- [Man] Hi buddy!
(dramatic music)
- [Man] Oh-ho-ho hi!
- [Camera Woman] Oh they're
yelling at each other.
(human scream)
- [Shayne] I think my favorite
thing that this guy did
was teach four turtles how to do karate.
(laughter)
- [Ian] Get out of my house Greg!
- So their babies are the size
of a little grain of rice,
infinitely small, you would
not be able to identify
what it is, but that's not the weird part;
They each give birth to 40 of them,
only roughly three to four will survive.
- [Courtney] Whoa!
- And she'll eat the
remaining of the babies.
- Like my family.
- Now do you guys want to
see some venomous snakes?
- [Shayne] Of course! More than anything!
(moroccan music)
- I'm slithering. (hiss)
- Oh what up Regina?
- [Courtney] Regina George.
- What up? Fist bump it. No?
You're gonna leave me hangin Regina?
- [Zoo Worker] Now the Inland Taipan,
the one that you're looking at right now
is actually the most venomous
land snake in the world.
- (Man] Sure.
- (Ian) Oh.
- [Shayne] Are these ones in Sydney?
- [Zoo Worker] Yeah.
- So we could just come
across this anytime.
- [Zoo Worker] Yeah definitely.
- Ahhhhh!
- You said that very casually,
like yeah you definitely could find
this deadly thing that will kill you.
- Yay I'm so happy to be here.
- This one is more venomous because
it has more capability to do stuff,
but this one's more dangerous because
it's just like, an (beep).
- [Zoo Worker] Yeah. It's got like,
small man syndrome really.
- Okay. Fair enough.
- I would love...we
learned that like kangaroos
way back in the day, were
like, eight feet tall.
I want to ride in a pouch so badly.
Can you imagine, like
going into, like a battle,
dragging you scraping along the ground
in this big ol' pouch.
But you've got a spear, and a plan.
(gentle acoustic music)
- (Man) How comfortable does that look?
- [Camera Woman] It looks
super comfortable. I'm jealous.
(rejection boos)
- [Camera Woman] Nope, rejected.
- [Camera Woman] Accepted
- Aww, you get pretty hunny,
you have a date later.
I wanna bite it.
- I would like to bite it.
- [Zoo Worker] So this guy, one of his
most impressive things is his bum.
(laughter)
- [Zoo Worker] They have a
cartilage plate in their bum,
and they can crush the
skull of their predators,
between their bum, and their
ripping off their burrow.
(tire wheels screeching)
- It crushes skulls with its butt?
- [Zoo Worker] With its bum, yeah.
- The ultimate throwin' it back.
- So this animal tortures
creatures to death?
- [Ian] Yeah
- Australia is crazy!
- [Man] Oh yeah, look
it, look at its lashes.
- [Courtney] You gotta get those falsies.
They got some real nice lashes.
I want lashes like those man.
I can't even get extensions like that.
- [Damien] Oh I wanna bite that for sure.
- [Camera Woman] Do you mean,
are you saying like bite it
because it's so cute, or like because
you want to eat it's meat.
- [Damien] No, not because
I want to eat it's meat.
It's because it's so cute.
You know how you see baby
chicks and you want to
give it a pinch. You
see an animal like that
and I just want to (eating sound).
- This is the world's most deadliest bird.
So these guys are more prehistoric then
what our crocodile would be.
♪ Man I cut you, I cut you up so bad, ♪
♪ you're gonna, you're gonna wish ♪
♪ I no cut you up so bad. ♪
- Wow
- [Zoo Worker] You can
ride it if you want.
- Definitely dangerous,
but also if Big Bird
from Sesame Street joined a gang,
might be way more dangerous.
- [Courtney] Is that your ex-girlfriend?
- [Shayne] Yeah.
(laughing)
- Remember, because I went to the zoo...
- Oh, yeah yeah yeah.
- Trying to like, get up at you.
- I forgot about that.
- So is that your ex?
- Yeah.
- That's Crazy.
- [Camera Woman] This is awkward.
(guitar shredding)
- [Ian] Aw buddies.
(orchestral music)
(dangerous music)
- Snake!
- [Zoo Worker] Yeah, who
here's scared of snakes?
- Uh, I'm, I'm not
scared, I, I don't know.
It's a big snake! I think
even if you're not scared
of snakes, you're a little scared of that.
- [Shayne] He looks like a,
um, a carnivorous Tootsie Roll.
(laughter)
- [Zoo Worker] Who wants to
have a go at holding him?
It can be a the two of us, yeah?
- I'd love to.
- [Zoo Worker] All right awesome!
Ready?
- Yeah!
(dramatic horn music)
- Oh hello.
- [Camera Woman] Oh my goodness.
- Wow!
Oh this is helping my posture.
He's like, pulling my
shoulder back. I feel great!
- Look at him go.
He likes you!
(laughter)
- Hey, hey Damien, you
ready to die together?
- Yeah let's do it.
- All right cool.
- 3-2-1
(whoosh sound)
- That's actually
incredibly soft on the neck.
- It's really soft. Oh I felt a tongue
on my little tummy!
(harp sound)
(gulp sound)
- [Courtney] Jesus! Emu's are jealous.
Emu, you didn't pay VIP
for this meet and greet.
You didn't pay VIP, you
can't take a picture with us.
Oh God, that scared me!
(cheerful music)
- [Camera Woman] Distract
him. Distract him.
He's coming for you, dude.
(nervous grunts)
- [Camera Woman] Matt, Matt! Let me...
No Matt, Matt, Matt (laughter)
Matt, don't, oh my God! You
let me alone with Larry!
- [Ian] Like its back knees
are just kind of shaking
or whatever.
(laughter)
- The emu purely loves your attention.
- [Shayne] Oh really?
- It's one of the true things.
- Interesting.
- So then, they'll not
have ill-intentions.
They're seven months old.
- So like, they're the
influencers of animals.
- [Zoo Worker] Yeah.
- They eat and seek attention.
- [Zoo Worker] Yeah, yeah.
- You're a dinosaur dude. You,
like, yo, tell me, be real.
Were the tyrannosaurus Raptors cool?
- [Camera Woman] Tyrannosaurus Raptors?
- Yo, were the Stegasauruses
as cool as they seem?
Like be honest, I know
you hung out with them
back in the day.
- Oh buddy.
- [Zoo Worker] They're both females.
Sammy's about 11 years
old, and Kari's about five.
- [Courtney] Yay!
- [Shayne] Just chillin'.
- [Courtney] We are so proud of you!
- [Shayne] You guys are doing great.
- [Ian] Oh, you coming down?
(laughter) He's gonna ram...oh!
He just rammed his butt.
- [Shayne] ♪Spider-Man, Spider-Man ♪
- [Man] Oh buddy.
- [Courtney] Sorry you got bumped, bud.
- [Shayne] Um.
How ya, how ya doin man?
Ya chillin?
(crowd chatter)
- [Damien] He looks like he's
about to offer wisdom, like
who comes to seek koala baby beef.
- [Shayne] Wow.
- [Courtney] Just two
ladies having brunch.
She's like, "Oh my gosh
did ya hear what Sammy said
on the other tree last week? Best believe,
ugh, she's canceled."
- [Zoo Worker] Alrighty, so
whenever you guys are ready,
we're gonna head off. We
have a surprise for you.
- [Shayne] (gasp) Bees!
- [Zoo Worker] This animal,
I work very close with.
Lots of people are scared of him.
He is classified as one of
the most dangerous animals
in the world.
- MMA Fighter. (laughter) An MMA fighter.
- It's just Mike Tyson, he's just like,
hey how's it going everybody?
(laughter)
- You might be a bit confused.
We have to walk through
the wax figure place to
get in to his enclosure.
- Okay.
- [Ian] Extra scary.
(techno music)
- I think she's just gonna kill us.
I think we're gonna get into a room,
and she's gonna be like, I'm
the most dangerous animal,
and then stab Damien.
- (whispers) I'm so scared.
- Any guesses?
- Um, I'm gonna say a crocodile maybe.
- [Zoo Worker] Anything different?
- Shark?
- Let's see, uh, a dingo,
a great white shark,
um a guy that's just really, just hyped up
on Monster energy drink.
- An Australian just locked in a cage.
- [Shayne] Yeah.
- A crocodile in the pouch of a kangaroo,
they've joined forces. The
kangaroo is riding a motorcycle,
the crocodile has a gun.
- You could psych us out and
just have a grizzly bear,
and be like, hey we brought it
from the states to murder you.
- Aw make us feel at home.
- All right, do you
want to know what it is?
- (crowd answers) Yeah.
- Oh my God!
- [Ian] That's a dinosaur. (gasp)
- [Camera Woman] Where? Oh my God!
- [Ian] I think that,
that's just one, yeah?
- [Courtney] Oh my goodness.
(suspenseful music)
- [Courtney] Woo!
(suspenseful music)
- Look at that
- Amazing
- Hey you wanna come over here?
(video game jump sound)
(cheering)
- [Man] This is the most
action he's gotten in years.
(bird screech)
(laughter)
- And now you, now can't hear anything.
Ah!
- [Camera Woman] I like
how we're like 10 feet away
from a crocodile, but we're like, bird!
- [Courtney] Bird! We really love birds,
that's what I'm saying.
(lapping sounds)
- [Courtney] He's straight
up licking the crap
out of your face.
- That's because I'm salty, probably.
My new girlfriend.
- [Shayne] You have a wife.
- Met, met her on Hinge.
(laughter)
(bird chirp)
- Larry, C'mon. Come on, Larry.
- [Man] Come on Larry. Larry?
- [Courtney] Come on!
- [Camera Woman] (Laughing) Lar-ry.
- [Man] Larry.
- Larry, we're gonna miss our
flight. It's literally here.
- We're gonna miss our flight right now.
(airplane sound)
Let's go. Get in loser,
we're going shopping.
- [Man] Come on Larry,
let's go for a walk.
- Come on Larry, bring your dog.
