BUT RIGHT NOW, I CANNOT WAIT A
MOMENT MORE, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
MY GUEST TONIGHT HAS SPENT FOUR
DECADES ENTERTAINING US.
HIS RADIO SHOW IS EXCLUSIVELY ON
SIRIUSXM, AND HIS NEW BOOK IS
CALLED "HOWARD STERN COMES
AGAIN."
PLEASE WELCOME, THE KING OF ALL
MEDIA, HOWARD STERN!
♪ ♪ ♪
 ( APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪
 ( APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: VERY NICE.
 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: VERY NICE.
VERY NICE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> WOW.
HOW ABOUT ANOTHER SONG ANOTHER
SONG?
GIVE ME A NICE BEAT, AND I'LL
SING.
I'LL SING.
AND NOW I'D LIKE TO DO A SONG.
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I WROTE A BOOK
I WROTE A BOOK
♪ IT'S A VERY GOOD BOOK
I'M HERE TO PROMOTE
♪ I'M HERE TO PROMOTE MY BOOK
I'M GOING TO TALK TO STEPHEN
♪ IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT
I GOT THE BAND
♪ I INTERVIEWED MADONNA.
PAUL McCARTNEY
♪ I INTERVIEWED STEPHEN, JIMMY,
AND THE OTHER JIMMY.
AND ELLEN DeGENERES, ROSIE
O'DONNELL
♪ HOWARD STERN COMES AGAIN
HOWARD STERN COMES AGAIN
♪ HOWARD STERN COMES AGAIN.
THAT'S IT ♪
BEAUTIFUL.
 ( APPLAUSE )
I DON'T DO THAT A LOT.
 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WHAT A BAND.
THAT BAND IS LIKE A FERRARI.
>> Stephen:ABLABLE,
UNBELIEVABLE.
>> YES, THANK YOU.
HOW IS EVERYBODY, OKAY?
 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
STEPHEN --
>> Stephen: WELCOME TO "THE
LATE SHOW," HOWARD STERN.
>> THANK YOU.
ONE THING YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED
SINCE DAVID LETTERMAN WAS HERE,
IT IS FREEZING IN HERE, AM I
RIGHT?
>> Stephen: THIS IS COMEDY
WEATHER.
>> I NEED A THROW BLANKET OR
SOMETHING.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
WHY SO COLD.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, BY THE
WAY, FOR STOPPING BY ON THE WAY
TO THE FUNERAL.
>> I THOUGHT I LOOKED GOOD.
>> Stephen: YOU DO.
YOU DO LOOK GOOD.
LIFE-LIKE.
I WOULD DESCRIBE YOU AS
LIFE-LIKE.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE JUST
SLEEMG.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME,
I DID FOUR YEARS ON "AMERICA'S
GOT TALENT."
>> Stephen: I WAS ON IT ONCE.
>> AND I WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW, I
SHOULD GET A NEW WARDROBE.
I'M GOING TO BE ON A NETWORK
TELEVISION SHOW.
I WAS ALL EXCITED.
I WENT OUT AND BOUGHT A BUNCH OF
SUITS.
JOHN VARBADOS.
YOU DON'T KNOW HIM?
I BARELY KNOW HIM.
THEY'RE FANTASTIC.
I BOUGHT THESE SUITS AND NOW
THEY SIT IN MY CLOSET.
I LEFT "AMERICA'S GOT TALENT."
IT WAS BASICALLY SILLY.
I WAS JUDGING SINGERS.
I DON'T SING.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE EARS.
>> I WOULD GO OUT THERE.
I WOULD GO, "YOU'RE TERRIBLE.
YOU CAN'T SING," THIS, THAT UAND
THE OTHER THING.
WHO CARES IF I RUIN THEIR
CAREERS?
I'M INTERESTING.
I MEAN, IT WAS FUN FOR A WHILE,
BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU GOT IT.
GLU WRITE ABOUT THAT, YOU WRITE
ABOUT THAT IN THE BOOK.
"HOWARD STERN COMES AGAIN."
 ( APPLAUSE ).
>> STEVE GLENUE WRITE ABOUT
BEING ON-- WHAT'S IT CALLED
"AMERICA'S GOT..."
>> TALENT.
IT TURNS OUT AMERICA DIDN'T HAVE
THAT MUCH TALENT.
>> Stephen: THAT WAS A WAY FOR
YOU TO BE SANTA CLAUS, TO BE A
NICE GUY.
>> IT'S A VERY FUNNY THING ABOUT
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME ON
"AMERICA'S GOT TALENT."
HEIR I WAS FART MAN, PEOPLE WERE
SCARED OF ME.
AND THEN I GO ON THIS
FAMILY-FRIENDLY SHOW WHICH I
THOUGHT WOULD BE QUITE SHOCKING.
FIWENT ON A SHOW AND I WAS LIKE
THIS TEDDY BEAR, YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN?
SO THE WEIRDEST THING HAPPENS.
I STARTED GOING TO RESTAURANTS
WITH MY WIFE THE FIRST YEAR
"AMERICA'S GOT TALENT" IS ON.
AND SUDDENLY PEOPLE START COMING
UP, "CAN MY KID SOIT YOUR LAP?"
LIKE I'M SANTA CLAUS.
AND I'M LIKE WHAT BIZARRO WORLD
DO WE LIVE IN?
DO THESE PARENTS KNOW WHAT I DO
FOR A LIVING?
ARE THEY BLIND.
YOU DO NOT LOOK LIKE-- YOU LOOK
LIKE A DISTURBED UNCLE.
>> I DO.
I SCARE CHILDREN, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: YES, I KNOW.
>> BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN, I WAS
SORT OF FAMILY FRIENDLY.
AND I ACTUALLY KIND OF GOT OFF
ON IT.
AND IT WAS FUN TO DO FOR A
COUPLE OF YEARS BUT THAT'S
ENOUGH.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I WENT BACK TO BEING A MONSTER,
AND I'M FINE.
NEVER MIND, LET'S TALK ABOUT MY
BOOK.
>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT
YOUR BOOK.
OKAY.
A COLLECTION OF YOUR FAVORITE
INTERVIEWS.
AS I SAID, MINE'S INCLUDED
BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO SELL A
FEW.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: I SAID LAST
NIGHT-- AND I MEAN THIS
SINCERELY-- YOU'RE MAYBE THE
BEST INTERVIEWER I'VE EVER HAD
THE HONOR OF BEING INTERVIEWED
BY.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU AND TERRY
GROSS.
TERRY IS VERY GOOD.
WHAT'S THE KEY TO A GOOD
INTERVIEW?
WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE KEY?
IS IT AGENDA OR IMPROVISING WITH
THE GUEST?
>> I THINK THERE ARE THREE KEY
THINGS, AND THIS IS YI WROTE THE
BOOK.
AND THE BOOK IS QUITE SERIOUS
BECAUSE PEOPLE SAID TO ME FOR
YEARS, "HEY, YOU'RE A GOOD
INTERVIEWER."
AND I-- AND I WAS PROUD OF THAT.
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY
CAREER I SAID, YOU KNOW, MAYBE
IT'S TIME TO PUT OUT A
COLLECTION OF THESE INTERVIEWS.
I THINK THEY'RE FUN.
THEY'RE INTERESTING.
AND YOU LEARN SOMETHING FROM
EVERYBODY, AS I DID FROM YOU.
>> Stephen: I MEAN, I'VE BEEN
INTERVIEWED BY A MILLION PEOPLE.
YOU ASKED ME QUESTIONS-- ALMOST
EVERY ONE OF YOUR QUESTIONS WAS
DIFFERENT FROM ANY QUESTION I
HAD GOTTEN BEFORE.
>> I DIDN'T KNOW YOU PERSONALLY
AT ALL WHEN YOU CAME IN THE
FIRST TIME.
AND WE GOT INTO A WRATH HEAVY
DISCUSSION.
AND WE-- AND WE REALLY-- YOU
KNOW, WE SPOKE-- AND I DIDN'T
KNOW YOU IN THIS WAY.
YOU KNOW, WE KNOW YOU AS A
COMEDIAN, BUT TO SIT THERE AND
HAVE A VERY SERIOUS DISCUSSION.
AND YOU AND I SHARED NAY MOMENT
IN THAT INTERVIEW THAT I'M VERY
PROUD OF.
YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT THE DEATH
OF YOUR FATHER IN THE FAMILY AND
YOUR SIBLINGS, AND IT WAS HEAVY.
AND I SAID TO YOU, "WHAT WAS IT
LIKE TO HAVE A SAD, DEPRESSED
MOTHER?
AND DID YOU FIND IT WAS A BURDEN
TO HAVE TO CHEER YOUR MOTHER
UP?"
AND YOU KIND OF STOPPED.
AND YOU SAID, "HOW DO YOU KNOW
HOW TO ASK THIS?"
AND I SAID, "BECAUSE MY MOTHER
WAS DEPRESSED.
SHE WAS VERY SAD.
SHE LOST HER MOTHER WHEN SHE WAS
NINE.
SHE HAD REALLY GROWN UP IN
DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES.
AND I FELT AS A KID GROWING UP
THERE WAS NO GREATER JOY IN MY
LIFE THAN TO SIT WITH ME
MOTHER-- AND IT GIVES ME CHILLS
TO THINK ABOUT IT-- AND
ENTERTAIN HER.
AND THE WAY I WOULD ENTERTAIN
HER IS I WOULD DO IMPRESSIONS OF
ALL THE MOTHERS AND FATHERS IN
MY NEIGHBORHOOD AND ALL THE
CONVERSATIONS I HEARD IN THE
HOUSE.
AND I ALSO REALIZED WHEN I WENT
INTO THERAPY, THAT THIS WAS A
TREMENDOUS BURDEN.
I ONLY WANTED TO MAKE MY MOTHER
LAUGH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S SORT OF
LIKE WHY YOU WERE DOING YOUR
SHOW?
>> I THINK THE REASON I GOT INTO
RADIO IS MY FATHER WAS NOT A
VERY EMOTIONAL GUY OR-- WE
DIDN'T SHARE A LOT OF PERSONAL
MOMENTS TOGETHER.
BUT MY FATHER WAS A RADIO
ENGINEER AND LATER BECAME A
RECORDING ENGINEER.
AND WHEN HE WORKED IN THAT
BUSINESS, HE WAS THE GUY WHO
WOULD SET UP THE MICROPHONES AND
RECORD SOME OF THE GREATEST
VOICE PEOPLE-- RAYMOND BURR, HE
WOULD DO COMMERCIALS -- HE WOULD
DO TENNESSEE TUXEDO CAR TWOONS
LARRY STORCH, WHO WAS A GREAT
COMEDIAN, AND THE WAY MY FATHER
WOULD LOOK AT THE RADIO
ANNOUNCERS AND THE WAY HE WOULD
LOOK AT THESE PERFORMERS, I
SAID, OH, THAT'S HOW YOU GET MY
FATHER'S ATTENTION.
WHEN MY FATHER WOULD LISTEN TO
THE RADIO-- HE WOULD LISTEN TO
THIS GUY BOB GRANT IN NEW YORK--
HE WOULD BE, "BE QUIET, BOB
GRANT IS TALK."
AND I THINK I BECAME TRANSFIXED
THAT THIS WOULD BE THE WAY I
COULD COMMUNICATE WITH MY
FATHER.
AND NONE OF THAT WAS CONSCIOUS.
>> Stephen: HOLD THAT THOUGHT,
BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU, WE HAVE TO
DO COMMERCIAL BREAKS.
WE WILL BE BACK WITH MORE OF
HOWARD STERN.
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
