

Here I was the last of the breed. It would take a starry night for my mind to finally explode. Could things really come together? I feel my life has been a travesty. Did it really matter what one thought or felt? It was the events that made me who I am or who I will be.

Every story has a heart, but I am not real sure where to begin, except to say my life was decided before I was born. I blindly followed my path never really knowing where my feet would land next. I believed in goodness and there my personality began to develop. Goodness and love drove me finally to madness.

Words have many meanings, but always a black cloud does show itself in a strangeness. I was to learn magic later or I should say much later. It takes a whole lifetime to finally accept peace. Weeds infect the brain and once I knew them by name I was allowed to be free.

Freedom is my destiny even though I am not a tree yet complete, but I do have roots that run deep. Mud in the water is not really an obstacle if you have those special glasses that see beyond the dirt and grime. I had a journey to take or shall I say it took me. It took until I was a huge blood stain clouded forever in the gloom, but open to the magic after the wounds healed.

I was a girl born into a family of madness that should not be heard with the ears. I do not know why I tell it now, for I kept so silent for so long, but now the time has come to tell a story that will not be believed by you for I can scarcely believe it myself. My birth took place on a dark stormy night which was a sign of things to come. I had a mom, dad and I was their only child. This sounds like a typical family but the moans will tell a different story.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil. -Jabez from the Old Testament

My dad Robert Blankship was in love with numbers. He was an accountant, rising high with powerful influence. He spent late nights working trying to acquire power and the money that came with this twisted badge of importance. He had many business deals that many were not privy to. He was uncomfortable with people closest to him, but could shine in the political arena.

My mom Sylvia was vein and in love with money. She felt she was entitled to such a life and her life only validated her extreme importance. Both of my parents tried to love me the best way they could, but each was sheltered in their egotism.

I am Marie desperate for love, but not the right family to meet these needs. I sought solace in books and Jesus. If I were to find love it would have to be outside of this lonely existence. Why I sought the Lord certainly was not something I learned from my parents.

Evil can come in extreme forms, but mostly the evil comes little by little, until the damn does burst. My story does not cover everything, but just some of the main events. Every little evil invites the devil in and before the house is aware it is wreaking with the vile smell of death. When the evil is hidden from sight, one thinks it is just a mild offense. The supernatural is blinded by this sight.

The one thing we treasure the most is the very thing that will be taken away to drive us mad and then to think. This with God can lead to humility, but without God it can lead to an evil madness. This evil is void of compassion for others, truth and justice.

I have a feather I keep on my desk to remind me of the innocence of childhood. To look out at nature when inside you are a storm brewing, gives you a piece of heaven to claim. Nature washes away the blood of violence and you can feel new again another day.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil. -Jabez from the Old Testament. Most things in life do not happen suddenly, but then just like a coffin you feel shut in. Where did the innocence go? Pain is better than no character. Shallow is one without struggle.

One night when the moon was full and it was a clear crisp night I heard laughter. I thought I must be dreaming. The laughter rang through my ear like a nightmare, I thought would never end. It was the first time I sensed real evil. At this time I was about ten.

I did not mention this to my parents, for I knew they would not believe me. I finally fell to sleep and had a very strange dream. I dreamt I was an eagle flying above hell. The screams and laughter were a type of madness that only happens to the evil when they realize never again will they feel love or receive it.

I woke up feeling a heavy burden. I knew I just had a prophetic dream, but I would not repeat this knowledge. An addiction leaves one feeling twisted and trapped. The responsibility I felt was worse for I could not change the results.

I think the most profound insights you receive come as a child. The adult years are just more clutter to sort out. This was my time for truth and to know evil. Such evil should not touch a child, but the world is moving faster into decay. Innocence is a lost word like morals.

I did not even know what the whole puzzle meant. What I did know was that there are worlds beyond our sight. That are eyes have a way of blocking the true sunlight. I wish I had not been born with this gift of knowing.

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx

Introduction:

I am a woman that never married, but my life is not without meaning. I hope to travel these pages with you as I try to make sense of a life of thoughts. I was not aware for years the influences that would take hold of me and mould me into a spiritual being of thoughts and awareness.

First comes a lost soul, then suffering with a purpose, letting go and finally a transforming union. The supernatural forces are everywhere hoping someone pays heed to what they are saying. I would become aware of thoughts, my surroundings in a new light and the people and creatures I share this life with.

I started out blind and now even though still blind, my soul has come to life. Spring forth in newness and wonder beating your breast against a hard stone, as the honey seeps through the cracks giving rise to a new birth. I was but one in a mass of ideas waiting to come forth like the dawn and cementing my cause in the graves of those before me.

It is my hope to take you through my mind of madness and make you aware of the supernatural that awakes to your call. May this journey make all of us more aware of what each spirit can do. Let the journey begin.

A man found that special pearl and considered all his other belongings as dust. He changed his priorities and found peace.

What Thoughts Are Our Own? In the mist do we see clearly? Do our thoughts cause us torment? Is our mind one mass of confusion? What helps us find focus?

The long nights. The cloudy days. We trudge through this world all alone in a haze. These thoughts we call our own. We act as if we have the control. We do not recognize the divine , nor the darkness that fills our soul .

This darkness enters our mind. We explore the depths. Then we call upon the divine to heal us of reality based on self.

Reality is the divine and our self is the darkness of time. The erosion may be from the darkness and the love from above.

So any thoughts come from spirits. We are just the vessel of these wounded and transcendental beings . The larger scheme is beyond our focus.

We know only that which we can handle and even this much causes our minds to buckle. We get not our strength of our own accord, but that spirit which guides us to the realm of reality.

In that quiet moment of reflection ponder if your thoughts are your own and what is real. Then go beyond your thoughts to a place of no thoughts and discover the truth of letting go.

In this moment of quiet God is the ultimate being of origin. He shall give us the thoughts of healing and we shall be as one.

The confusion is of spirits, including your own that is unaware of the truth. Once God enters clarity prevails and we are on our way home.

A man found that special pearl and considered all his other belongings as dust. By Janet Gillooly He changed his priorities and found peace.

This is part of a spiritual book that I am writing.

I walk in a world of darkness, where the light is hidden. I must walk through this darkness, in order to draw towards the light. Weep for the God who made us. Then we must weep for others. We are a part of the others.

This light brings peace and freedom. We belong to a world of love. This love does not need many words, but we just need to embrace it.

It will yield to us and bend us in a shape that is foreign to us. We will at first be afraid, but then as we bend, it will comfort us in God's rays.

This light is the shadow of God, for we could not bare to see his total image. We would die of sorrow not to be with him. Our wounds are but marks of his love for us. This pain strips us away of pride.

Dawn comes every morning, but we do not know if we will arise. We want this light in fullness, but God 's rays move in us slowly, teaching us to pray. Growth is the gift we receive and we share God's light with many.

Mercy is as mercy does. We need to stay near the light to be complete. This light is sweet and divine. It only takes a little time. Our wounds close and then open again. Our heart, this wound opens like a flower, but then again it burns like a bright fire.

Wind and Rain beat at our door. We are not afraid, for we are not alone. We have the light of God inside. Our heart is what helps our house stand.

We but need his love. This love empowers us to grow. We love with a love beyond us. It is a gift we are freely given and what we must return.

Raise your eyes and bend your knees. You are at the garden gate of his majesty. No foul language is spoken here, no hate is known. His power and love demand respect.

He does not need us, but wants to free us. Walk in his way and do not take it lightly . We are here for but a moment and then that moment is gone. Love and draw close to him now, before the evening draws nigh.

"It is better to desire to lead a good life, rather than a long one."

Glory to God

Lord let me praise and give you glory day and night. Let me not grow lazy in fulfilling this mission. Holy Holy Lord. Glory be to God.

Use me to be your glory alone. Let me become your glory and praise. Use my voice to sing your glory and use my fingers to write your words of glory.

Help me realize that my own life is but your life to give you glory. Let not my own desires, deter from giving you glory. Use my soul and body to be your life of calvary and glory. Let me be your likeness and in this you reign in this world and this world gives you glory.

Let me praise you in my prayers and let my soul be your song. I do not wish anything but to be your red carpet, for you are king and I lay a path for you to reign in my heart and soul.

Let me welcome you Father, Lord and Holy Spirit to feel at home in my heart. Let not my own sufferings, joys or desires be in vain for my own glory. Praise be to you God. You are the glory of the world and my life. I offer you glory and thanksgiving for using me as your glory. Glory be to God in the highest. Let my soul not be at the bottom of the heap in giving you glory by doing your will. Amen.

Janet- Marie - A part of the Trinity Family.
Sin Or Bondage

Why did I keep a thorn in the side of a certain leader of my church? What was this thorn? I wanted to teach him compassion, forgiveness, mercy and not to judge anyone who feels trapped in a sin. I wanted him to learn more how to pray and to lean on me for everything. I wanted him to give me all the glory for any change I made in his life.

I do not answer prayers the way you think I should. If someone is smug about an accomplishment and does not give me the glory, they are bound to repeat this sin again. How quickly one will forget the real lesson I am trying to teach. A dog will not go back to his vomit if he is trained properly. How many times will someone puff themself up and again forget where the glory belongs.

I give mercy to whom I give mercy. I am justice and if that person refuses to show mercy in return for my blessing unto them, whether it be someone they do not like does not matter, it will bring about the same result. The divine law of love broken shall have a price for everyone.

I dwell in a humble heart, who does not boast, nor snub those who have not been freed from bondage. I may leave a cross in a life to keep them humble and to lean on my mercy. Each spirit has different areas, but the general theme is the same. I let you know of me little by little, but do not set yourself up to play God. I lift up the humble and bring down low the proud and haughty of spirit.

I give everyone certain gifts, but if they are used for the wrong motive or gain the gift will not give me the glory as it should. Everything you say and do matters to me and yet you will not be kind to your own. You neglect them and yet claim you are loving. It is easy to have compassion for someone far off that you never see, but what about your neighbor who is close?

Sin means you are human. You must do your part, but I am in control of the rest. Do not give up the fight with your struggles, for you will have your reward.

It is not so much the things that come easy to you that I am proud of, but the fact you try so hard, with the things you seem not to be able to control. For you do the things you do not wish to do, when you wanted to do everything so differently.

Some will have temptation after temptation all their life, where as some, will not. I know what each soul needs to reach the state they desire. If you have not a certain desire then pray and it will be given you. I will not deny any who want my love.

It is the struggle I reward. I reward those who try to overcome their sinful nature with meditation. Prayer fights the enemy and the dark side. Some will change without prayer, but the change will have little reward. They are seeking their own power, not my

power, which is empty.

Suffering is due to sin, but through my love you shall suffer for the sake of my kingdom. Your suffering shall be a blessing and it will not be a judgement. I came to bring salvation, healing and division. I am the truth, so you must ask yourself are you with me or against me? Take heart I am merciful and I do not want any to perish. I love the whole world.

Love,

Jesus

Heart and Soul

I want you to know my heart and soul. This is the deepest part of my life. It was the deepest part, when I lived among you. I have only love to give you. One with you shall I reign.

I shall cause wonders to bring out your beauty. You shall love me totally and please me. I shall whisper the secrets of my heart to you and my soul will reveal the life I give you. It does not take money, for my gift is free.

My gift shall cleanse you of all rags and in place of these rags will be a garment of white. This garment shall glow in the dark and the pure light will shine in the darkness. The light will shock and delight you in a world of love and purity.

I bring you into my soul of peace and solitude. Here shall you know all truth. The Virgin shall guide you back to the Rosary, but here at night shall you be in my heart and soul of peace and love. This prayer will mould you and help you to seek me in all things.

I have so much joy in loving you and knowing you love me. We will travel this road together and you shall discover all my love. My love is the answer for everything and no hate is here. You shall marvel at my wondrous deeds and I give you a rose for each kiss I bring you.

A path of roses shall follow you everywhere and then you will fall at my feet. You shall kiss my feet and weep tears of joy at this sight. My love will overwhelm you into weeping and peace shall reign in your heart always. You shall know the true meaning of my love and my light shall surround you .

I do not say these things lightly and my word is the key to life. Do not worry for you are in a world of the supernatural and my mystic powers are at work as I speak. I told you once what each color meant and now soon you shall know the meaning and true beauty of color. White is my light which is the original color. I am the true artist of each gift I give others. There is so much for you to learn. I give you my love and all else shall follow.

Do not worry what to say, for my words shall pour forth into your heart and soul. I am the heart and soul of everyone and everything. I take one word and plant it within you and there shall you grow a garden. Your garden is my love and there shall you know me. We shall always have this quiet time, but even during your day we are always together. I shall wait for your return to my garden and there shall you be without need.

Honesty

The first level of honesty is shallow. You look in the mirror, but do not like what you see, so you run from it. You look at others flaws and this is your mirror.

The second level of honesty is a little awareness, but not enough to take root. You fancy yourself further then you are. You live in a dream world and get angry when faced with the truth about yourself. You have hope at this stage. Anger is a sign of progression if this anger heals.

The third level of honesty is knowing every little thing about yourself and wanting to change but you feel not in control to change the thi ngs that really matter to you. You are very gentle at this stage no longer wounded, but confident in God's love for you. You are more sure of the progress you have made. You do not feel satisfied like you want, because you know the things you have not changed.

Your life is action. Action in changing and doing it. You know God is in control, but you feel helpless to change your part. You rely on God's mercy and grace.

The fourth level which we all want to reach is the change is done. You are working with God, but the changes have come as a result of peeling off each layer of the onion. God as revealed every level to you and now the action is complete. You feel in control, because God has taken you there. Now you know on all levels what God has done for you. You have decreased and God has increased to the level of perfection.
I have covered many of these same subjects in my poetry. There is nothing original in

this material, but I hope you will be patient with me. These things are worth repeating. Honesty is a very important topic which I will cover later.

My spiritual walk has been the most personal to me and intimate. If it had not been for God, the saints and angels I would not be here. The Catholic church has been my steady rock. Life with God can be hard enough, but without him it would be impossible.

There are times when things feel too real or not real enough such as death. Jesus helps me balance my life, and stay sane. Every step of the way I have felt him close to me. I do not mean that I always feel him, but my faith helps me in times of doubt.

Angels are so neglected and misunderstood. If we could just for a moment call them to our side, we might become more aware of their majestic beauty and power. They guide and protect us in more ways than we know. I think people would have more experiences with angels if they just talk to them. This of course includes God and the saints.

I have had my share of experiences, but when you talk about such things with certain others they think you are bragging, delusional or just jealous. People are at ease telling how a concert made them feel, but when it comes to God it gets more complicated. It is good to only tell a few, for you do not want to throw your pearls before swines. We cannot open our hearts to everyone for such is a fool. People are more quick to judge without all of the facts.

I look back on my life and realize there were quite a few times when angels literally saved my life. God could do his work alone but he chose us, angels and saints. I have found St. Michael to be of the greatest aide. He is at the head of the army fighting the dark side and fighting for us.

I have prayed for many and many things. I think when we get to heaven we will see what our prayers have done. I prayed for Padre Pio to become a saint, along with many others and our prayers have been answered. I have recently made him my patron saint and I have seen his power. I have known about him for quite some time, but I think I appreciate him a lot more than I use to. I talk to him every night now and I see the healing he has done for some of my friends.

There is so much more I could say, but I am just writing what I feel guided to say. Jesus is helping me write, along with Thomas Merton. Thomas Merton I do hope you will become a saint. You wrote books with such understanding about the spiritual and human nature. Mark Twain said people who are trying to get to heaven, keep trying to progress and if that is not hell I don't know what is.

Thomas Merton- " When we find our vocation - thought and life are one." Now work no longer interferes with prayer or prayer with work ."

Prayer is a relationship, but it is also an art one must study and learn. Time spent is not wasted but it may seem that way when we do not get what we want, when we want it. We want it now, we want it our way and we want no suffering. This is not heaven, but we can find contentment.

There are many forms of prayer and each has helped me to draw closer to the Lord. I want to talk of prayer in detail, but for now I just want to say how prayer is helpful. The most obvious is we are not alone and there is life after death.

We find peace in prayer, love and mercy. We gain great knowledge about God, humanity and our spiritual self. Our prayers are answered and this increases our faith in God. God remains a mystery, but he gives us glimpses of his truth. We may not understand everything, but some day everything will come to light. He gives us freedom of choice so we are not his robots.

God remains the same, but we grow as we draw closer to the divine rays of his grace. He is a personal God, not some foreign object in the sky. Times we feel close and at other times we feel distant from him. Prayer helps our imaginations, our psychic ability and our gut sense of what is right. God brings magic into our lives, where once there was none. He fills our days with purpose and gives our lives meaning.

We share and empty ourselves every day, but God replenishes our lack of energy, so we may cope with each new day. He knows us better than we do or anyone else and this can be a comfort. We may not get the recognition here in this plane, but in the next everything shall shine forth into the open. Truth shall not be hidden like this darkness the world is in at the moment.

Each time we pray for someone else the energy is sent quickly into the atmosphere and at that moment everything changes. Praying for someone is the most powerful thing you will ever do. We fight the powers of darkness and cover over our sins with love. This renewal is what we should live for and God rewards the ever faithful.

Listen not to the enemy who will do anything to thwart your prayers. Success to me is praying. If you do nothing else as the world thinks you should do, do this! This is an everlasting success. It is really the only thing that counts in the end. Loving the Lord is the most important and loving others as yourself. Prayer brings about the right atmosphere to produce true love and change.

Thomas Merton- " When is suffering useless?" My words in summary are when we only feel sorry for ourselves, when love turns into hatred, which in turn reduces everything to fear.

Dreams are a very important element in understanding yourself and the universe. If you spend time with dreams just like anything else they can bear fruit. Dreams have various interpretations.

Indians spent long hours in meditation, visions, stories and dreams. They had a little help with drug induced visions, but I prefer the power of God. Indians were one with nature. I am sure many Indians today carry on traditions. You might find the movie Dream keeper helpful.

I suggest you read Jung to understand dreams. One book that covers everything about dreams is "Dreamwork for the Soul" by Rosemary Ellen Guiley. Find a group that discusses dreams and get a partner you can call to discuss your dreams.

Dreams can predict the future for yourself, others or even a world event. Dreams let you know your state of growth and any universal meaning may be attached. There is no one set way to look at dreams. Dreams make you more aware of your sub-conscience than when awake.

I believe many people travel in their dreams and not even know it. They talk to people in the spiritual realm. This knowledge even if not remembered on a conscience level is remembered enough to help you on your journey. I mean by traveling in your dream

you can actually physically be somewhere or it may just be your spirit. I believe a lot of times when we experience deja vu, it is because we have dreamed it. If you believe in reincarnation then that could be a possibility for you also.

I have found dream work very helpful in my own life. I believe dreams are a form of prayer. In dreams God many times is talking to you directly through your dreams.

Prayer and dreams put you more in touch with psychic experiences. These experiences are really very natural, but get lost for as a society, we concentrate more on doing than being. Being does not just involve who we are as an individual, but being one with nature, God and others. No action is void of the power of God. Everything is subject to God.

If you have problems remembering dreams just ask the Holy Spirit to help you remember more dreams. Every dream you remember is significant. Every book chooses you, so every dream comes forward to teach. Some Indians might say that dreams lead you toward the red road. The right road for all of us is that which leads to God and achieves his goals which are for the greater glory for all.

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx

Awakenings occur in dreams, spiritual experiences, which usually come to us when we are ready. The teacher appears when the student is ready. Usually some truth we are to know has on some level already revealed itself to us, but now the fish is ready to be reeled in.

I had an experience with honesty about me. I was driving and suddenly my life was before my eyes. This was not visual, but just a thought process. I could feel the power of God upon me. Honesty about myself is no longer shocking or hard to admit. This was another layer of the onion that I had already begun to peel. I now know how people feel that say their life flashed before their eyes, when death is near .

Each awareness is a type of death. Death to our old self and more in touch with the divine . Our divine self is just waiting for another opportunity of loving power. We know things that our human self would not normally know . I knew my dad was going to die the night before, for I had a feeling and a dream. I knew my brother would be next to go in the family. I knew when one of his dogs was going to die. God revealed these things to me. Sometimes God prepares us for something to make it a little easier.

Awakenings can be prophetic or usually aimed at revealing the truth. Honesty is one of the most important aspects in getting closer to God. God reveals what he wants us to know. One change or one leader can send waves of change all over the universe. Yes, each of you are that important. No life is valueless. One life can touch so many.

A book can profoundly change one. A conversation between two can be a turning point. Everything is a message from the divine and to our divinity. Boredom would not exist if we all truly knew how the supernatural is close at work here. They are not separate, even though we are not always aware.

I think people would be more open to experiences is they did not have fear or rejected it because it was not the religious norm. My cat can astral-project. Now this is not quote a Catholic term like bi-locate . Does this mean it is evil? I say no. I have a lot of my visions with my eyes closed. My cat appeared before me while I was in bed. I felt my cat's presence. I knew the cat would bond with me and she wanted to be in the room with me. The next night she was in the room with me. This was when she was still new. I saw her before that quite a few times with my eyes closed. I was not asleep. I also had this type of experience with an angel and a friend. I felt the angel and heard her fly away. If this sounds crazy you need to either pray more or be more open to God.

I am Catholic, but I do get irritated that they seem to have a code of what terms they will allow. I am talking about the ultra-conservative who think anything out of their scope is of the devil. I am teary of getting involved with certain things, but we should not label everything as evil, just because we are ignorant of it. People call the Catholic Church, the Anti-Christ without really doing any research. I am not saying to be open to everything, but just be open. We should challenge our narrow views from time to time like a monthly oil change. If you get closer to the truth and closer to God you are on the right track.

I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust

Chapter One Page One

The soul is the key to all freedom. How deep the waters go determines the depth of your freedom. It is not a new age remedy but as old as the bible.

Each step we take towards Jesus with an open mind determines are limitless ability to be ourselves. We can spout prayers out without really listening to Jesus. He alone expands our mind and heart using people, information and talking to us.

This is not an original concept, but many have no idea what it really means to be close to Jesus. Many tools are available such as the bible, mass and many books. Mine is just one more book , but I hope the message is clear. Jesus is very close to you and me. He is waiting to speak if only we will feel close enough to hear.

Freedom is speaking the unbelievable and enjoying what the world calls impossible. If you speak of these things you will be seen as crazy, different and beyond the scope. You are delusional and of course you know you have faults so those will come out. The freedom is knowing that you are one with God and keep soul searching.

Each experience whether sad, joyful or even bizarre waters your soul and you have a base to build on. If this base does not lead to peace than where is your solitary life? Why are you neglecting your soul when this is the heart of who you are?

Insights lead to truth and before we get to this point time and time again we go through a type of madness. Our minds feel twisted only because we are being challenged to change. It is not the rules we learn but a type of Being that is not sensed in this material

world. Only few will know and when you meet them in a sense they are destiny and you have been able to confirm your soul.

Thomas Merton- " When we find our vocation - thought and life are one." Now work no longer interferes with prayer or prayer with work.''
Suffering is necessary in order to find true peace. This produces wisdom and a closer walk with Christ. No suffering makes a dull child listless. Focusing on the Passion of Christ is a real important part. Instead of just seeing your suffering you now know there is a higher purpose. Thinking of Christ helps you put things in perspective.

Suffering allows you to understand Christ in of course a very limited way since you are only human, but this is a closer step to the Divine. Suffering bears fruit in you and others. You may think you are fooling others, but what you wish for others or resent about them, even if you do not speak them, these vibes are sent out in to the universe. People know if they are not accepted. A tone of voice can be very cruel to a person.

The judgment of God is not a myth nor is the devil. Yes, the Lord is merciful, but he is not blind to the truth. Every word we utter, every action and even those we neglect, the memories will be there with us when we pass to the supernatural.

Suffering can lead to a greater compassion for others or we can be mad at the world. The grace of God is there to teach us to love greater. There is no more important message than to love, knowledge will pass away, but love never dies.

Peace comes from God. We can freely accept it or reject it. Suffering is sometimes the only way we get a message. Peace does not mean there will not be trouble.

Tested helps us to reach the pot of gold. We fight a spiritual battle and many do not know this. We fight because we are bruised but not beaten. Some submit when there is no other recourse. Prayer is the key to healing. It is the key to everything.

Suffering can also be self-inflicted or a certain perspective. We can only change this with God. He does want us to be happy but we are also here to fulfill his purpose. One purpose is to stay close to Jesus and Jet others know of this great journey! Take Jesus away and you are left with a book lacking soul.

I think it is sad that some people do not even talk to Jesus and some see God as a distant being with no feeling or personal involvement . He is just to them some cosmic cloud. I know there are many who pray to God, but do not talk to Jesus. I think this makes God less real. The more real we make Jesus, the more he draws near. We all may have different ways to view the bible, but we cannot change the life Jesus led. He is real.

Yes more real than anything we are involved with in this material world. Jesus is the most important element to our sanity. He is true depth.

Thomas Merton- "When we find our vocation - thought and life are one." Now work no longer interferes with prayer or prayer with work."

Chapter one page one

It does not matter the past nor the future but this moment now before the Eucharist. This is the center of my life. I had to come full circle before God's grace made it so clear. I believe if all the churches had perpetual adoration we would change the world. We would become the conscience and the heart for the world to draw near to Christ. I have felt so high leaving the church after adoration. Many times I feel the presence of Christ and I really feel I am leaving there with the Lord with me.

The Eucharist is the greatest consolation, but with that comes great pain. The pain and the pleasure transform me. I have changed so much and have much to change. My cat has felt the presence of Christ and we have drawn closer. People are not always so deeply aware, but they feel the Eucharist in me somewhere within. My ministry is to let the world know about the physical and Divine presence of our Lord in this powerful Host.

Centering prayer brings about the intimacy with the Lord. Just breathe him in and He will work in you. To see the Host displayed brings about more reality for us and the Lord loves to be seen. I want to eat, sleep, dream and live the Eucharist. That communion is taken out to the world and the Lord wants to use us all. I want everything pertaining to the Eucharist such as the rosary, medals, pictures and books. I want the Eucharist on my mind day and night. This is the only true heaven on earth.

I love just looking at the Eucharist and feeling Jesus. The Eucharist changes us heals, transforms and convicts us. There is so many blessings and graces with His Body. Just being before the Blessed Sacrament changes you, even if you feel you do not pray very well. Jesus actually does the praying through us. Ask him for everything and yes he even gives us desires or goals to pray for. We have all the power we need if we just come before the Eucharist and open ourselves to his love. Many words are not necessary just being silent before him.

The church has many imperfections, but the sacraments are what we need. God gave us His Body so we would not be alone. It is sad to me that so many do not believe in this gift. I hope this book will bring about conversion of heart, mind, soul and spirit, even if it just gets people to think about the Eucharist at this very moment. I started out this long road and if someone like myself can have great faith in His Body, then so can you. His Body here is the tabernacle is why he came. Not only to save us, but to live with us in such a humble form.

0 blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of the darkness and godlessness that inundate the earth! -St. Faustina Kowalska

Come have me I promise peace. Look how much you need me. Skip your prayers and rely on me. I am the true divinity.

Do not war against me. I am stronger than thee. I have been there through all your troubles. I don't want you to know that I make them double.

There is no friend like me. I am always there. Sit back and get lost in the feeling.

I am worth a few coughs here and there. Don't think about the future of lung cancer that awaits. You cannot breathe, have me.

You might die tomorrow so why suffer the loss of me. You think you are free, but you are my personal slave. I like having control over you. I laugh every time you light me up. That's right just one more puff.

I am legal, so there is Jess help for thee. I am nails on your coffin, but hey you gotta die of something. You would have to suffer if you gave me up. Every moment you would be wishing for me but wanting to be free. Hey enjoy life with me.

I don't promise a happy future, but you are so hooked you do not want to consider the possibilities. You say I don't have much of a future anyway and I laugh knowing that you do. Every positive thought you have of quitting I give you two negatives and I usually win.

Your mind when quitting goes through a battle only those hooked on me know well. Your mind is so tired of fighting that you cave in every time. I run deep within every part of you since you were young. You did not know the battle you would face, because I mask myself as cool and fun.

So go ahead and quit I dare you. I love a good battle. I usually win. It's fun to see you tormented like you were in hell. I am hell but it is hell breaking away from me.

The cigg companies as years went by added more and more poison to get you hooked. Imagine the evil of that. I could not endure if it weren't for the pushers and for fools like you who say I can't quit. See you next time you put me down.

0 blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of the darkness and godlessness that inundate the earth! -St. Faustina Kowalska

As I travel this road there are so many emotions. There is calvary, and there is the stirring of the wind on the mountain top of transformation or transfiguration. You figure out that you are changing more and more into his image.

The magic of love and sin can lead to despair. The one will to depend on is all that is important to me, but oh do I fall short of this goal. Oh, but to only depend on thee would be heaven here in a world that is fading.

You seek perfection of the heart. Not the sins that we cannot let go of, but the love we share with you. It could be your glory alone that we seek, but we continue to chase the wind.

We are in a storm, that batters us beyond recognition, but you have set our eyes on you. You know our hearts and how frail we are without thee. You have a plan and it shall set us free. You knew our imperfections before our new eyes could see.

You take the dark and turn it into light. Everything happens for a reason and there is no accident to thee. You planned our birth and everyone we would meet. I walk this time with thee and share your joy. I also share your sadness and deep thoughts that have me on bended knee. You have given freely and remain hidden to those who feel confident without you. What a false hope that is.

My fondest memories are of you. The times we have spent together and how you have changed me for the better. Not because of any act I have done. It is because I spend time with you who are total love. I love you and pray all do the same. Amen.

0 blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of the darkness and godlessness that inundate the earth! -St. Faustina Kowalska

My Beloved

I am your husband. You are my wife. We are one together and we shall be for life.

Each day I shall bring you closer to me. I shall perfect you for in you my heart dwells. I come to you each night and tell you of my love. Your strong love for me is a deep well.

My light shines within you and I am filled with joy, because you open up to me and my love shall not fail. You have discovered the secret of life and I am that pearl in the midst of strife.

I shall release you of fear and resentment. I shall calm all your passions and in the place of them shall I be. You will trust me totally and I will be real to you like a fish to the sea. Each creature has their own sound that glorifies me. All of nature brings my love peace.

I created this beauty to show you of my great love for you. We shall walk on this journey together and when you are in heaven there shall I be.

Nothing will tear you apart from me. No evil in hell shall ever be free, to violate my bride or deny her the Trinity. My heart is forever yours and I shall keep your heart close to mine, like a treasure of gold and a diamond so fine.

I wish to show you more and more, the love I have for you until you reach the shore. This life can be hard, but I have given you heaven in a world that is temporary, so that your passing will be easier and you will then receive your crown of life in a world that is forever Thine. My love is forever a celestial light and when we meet your world will be bright.

I have walked this earth and I know the pain, but I also know the love to gain. Each night I understand your plight, but don't forget I hold you so tight.

I know your heart has a special place for me and you shall dwell with me for all eternity. Amen

The Present Moment

The past is a fixed moment. The future has not yet come. The present moment is now. I experience it with my whole being and this moment brings me joy.

Each moment is never the same. Life is constant change and to accept this is to be in the moment. If it is pain I do not run from it, but feel it as natural as breathing. I do not run from fear, because that only brings me more fear, but to walk through it and it shall surely pass.

To experience true joy, then I must also accept the sorrow that goes with it.

I am but a wanderer knowing not God, but being with him in the moment. I may never know God as he truly is, but I have this moment.

To have faith is to learn from God. If I have the answer and not be open to some idea that may be different, then why do I ask God? Faith is letting go of preconceived notions and letting the answers flow through me like running water. If I try to catch the running water in a container, then it is no longer running water. I cannot put God in a box that is neat and convenient for me.

Belief is a preconceived idea and though these are not wrong, they are not faith. Faith walks on the water not knowing what will be or become. My thoughts may be clear today and cloudy tomorrow. I have not the answers, but I have this moment. I may think differently the next moment.

God plants the seed and then each flower blooms differently. I know that my body and spirit cannot fight against each other or I will have division within myself. If I do not accept this moment as it is and feel this moment, then I am fighting against myself and nature.

I must accept the moment that is now, but if I try to run from it more pain will ensue. We should freely love at each moment, because soon it will be the past and we are not promised the future. A rose is sweet, but it has its thorns.

If I try to rush each moment to get to the next moment, then I do not accept the moment nor enjoy it. I have but one moment and it is this one.

God fills me with light and the world is his light reflected. He gives us this moment to be with him. If we try to detach ourselves from the moment as if we are a third party, then we are divided against ourselves. Accept each moment from God and experience it and feel it, for then we will not lose ourselves. We must be true to ourselves, by living each moment fully which means feeling it whether it be pain, joy, fear or peace.

Our spirit should flow freely and lovingly towards God, which spills out towards others and every creature on earth. We must let our growth happen naturally, not forced and we cannot just think our way to God or to this moment, but we must feel it with our whole being. Amen.

These thoughts are inspired by the book, "The Wisdom of Insecurity" by Alan Watts.

The Hidden Life

You have done this type of prayer before, but this time it will be much better, because of your honesty.

I draw you into deep silent prayer. Your mind will be silent, with no thoughts. Not that I will not speak sometimes, but mostly my spirit will be with you in this void of space. Your mind being void will free me to guide you powerfully.

You will go into this place of silence beyond the norm. It will at first seem dark, but then my brilliant light will comfort you. This prayer will change your life forever. No other prayer will bring you as much comfort. Your strong desire and need will not be satisfied without it.

The changes that you have been struggling with will come easy. There will be your will subdued, but mine shall overpower you.

Lead the hidden life like Mary. I will give others a certain image of you, because I want you to remain hidden. I want lots of your time. Those who are blind to you, shall remain so. Those who do not hear, will not listen to you.

I do not invite the shallow, arrogant and self-righteous, because they do not feel the need for such closeness with me. They may get certain rewards here, for their achievements, but your rewards will be greater in heaven.

The saints will help mould and guide you to this most holy state. I offer myself to anyone who takes the time for me and my guidance. People drown me out with noise.

People will not see the good in you many times, but choose to see ugliness. They will project their sins and point the finger at you. Those who do not see in the mirror shall see in the next world, which will be the harder way to learn. In some ways learning in the next world will have one plus that they are not going to die, but the negative is they will wish they could.

You know you are far from perfect and I have guided you to this deep felt honesty. Many do not want to see their fault in a relationship, but always point to the other person and dwell on their faults. The bible is meant for each person that reads it to learn a.bout their own nature, but many times they prefer to turn the mirror in other directions.

I give you this hidden life as a gift. What is in your future is for me to know. I shall pierce every part of you, but you shall know real joy. Do not let the enemy tell you prayer is a waste. You shall change in many ways.

I shall bring you into a place far above the sun. It shall be further than the stars. Each prayer you utter shall bless this world. Each moan shall reach me in heaven. I am mindful of everyone and everything. Not one truth will remain hidden and I shall free all who seek it.

You may not be popular, you may not be respected, but you shall remain hidden in my heart and my grace shall embrace you.

Love,

Jesus

I will not hide my heart from those who seek it.

Lord, teach me to pray. Teach me to love you more than myself. Let me lose myself in your love completely. Let me surrender everything to you. I do not want anything but your will. Help me to reach this perfection.

It is only you do I want to seek with my whole being. Let me reach this state with your sweet perfect grace. Do not let me forget where my true joy is. Let me soar to the center of your love. Let me be a victim of your love. I want your love to be everything to me.

Take away all my sin. Let me be an example that is worthy of giving you honor and let my prayer life also be that one glory I give to you alone. Let me not seek any glory for myself. You deserve all the glory and all the love you will let me give you.

I get so frustrated with my progress. Please let me be patient and let me do my part to reach perfection. I want my heart and everything about me and my life to be yours. Do not let me grow faint and weary, for the miracle is just around the comer. Let me not frustrate the progress you are trying to make in my life.

Lord take all of me and mould me in your likeness. I am your bride, but I do not feel worthy to wear your ring. Help me to feel worthy to wear this ring and not be ashamed. I need so desperately to be yours completely. Lord, I want nothing less and I want to be on fire for your great love. Give me faith and love to reach my destination with you in prayer. Let my prayer, make my life something you can be proud of. I want to please you and then let me come home to be with you eternally. Amen

Prayer

Prayer helps to fight the enemy. It helps to heal the country. It gives peace to the soul by drawing close to the source. It sustains you through your days. It makes life easier and it makes God real. God gives meaning to your life, where once there was none.

Prayer being answered renews your faith and restores you to a supernatural level. It helps you to grow and to gain courage like a lion. It renews the church and we as the body bring new life to the world.

The most powerful person is a prayful person. We change lives with our prayer and prayer governs God. He listens to us and in accordance with his will. He cannot refuse a sincere honest prayer.

Prayer helps us to love God more, love ourselves through God's eyes and then share that love with others. We are his holy temple, his vessel and we are his tools to bring about profound change and many miracles.

Miracles are a result of prayer, with love and a pure heart. We have the means to conquer nations. We have a healing power that brings about forgiveness. We have the power to love instead of hate. We have the choice to speak words of kindness, rather than ugly ones.

We have the power to give and God will give to us abundantly, to encourage us to reach out and give. We can love because he loved us first. We have the best family, so we have no excuses.

We must wear our spiritual armor and do battle with evil. We must pray against it and watch it flee. If we open the door to darkness, we invite defeat. We are not defeated, but strong. We are wise, prudent, honest and most important we love, if we are not full of pride. We must fight the darkness, lest it take control and destroy our lives.

Darkness is fear, hate and confusion. God clarifies his truth and we walk by his light. We have his promises and he will not let us be brought to destruction.

Prayer helps us to be thankful. It helps us lead others to Christ. Prayer helps the lost and forgotten. We must put prayer first and then all of our other needs will be fulfilled.

Take time to pray. Read God 's words and you will grow. Lead us not into temptation and give us your daily bread. Jesus is the manna from heaven and we must eat of his body and drink his blood in order to have eternal life.

The kingdom of heaven starts as a little mustard seed and it grows to be a very large tree. The kingdom of heaven is a treasure and we spend all of our lives discovering all of its secrets. Oh, how sweet prayer is, which is the fruit of the kingdom. Amen

The only lasting treasure is me Jesus.

Do not neglect me any longer or you will be like the brides who were not ready for me and had no oil for their lanterns. I am the treasure you seek. Seek now while there is still time. I will not refuse my love and I will give it abundantly.

Love, Jesus

I Will Find You

I know you are frustrated with all the little things and the big things too.

I know I am hard to find, when you wish things could be differently. I will find you.

I will give you peace when you only see turmoil. I will grant your dreams when you are at the end. I know you get tired of playing the waiting game and you find it hard to find peace.

I do not go by time. I go by what you can handle and others it may effect. You wonder why I make it so hard for you to get close to me, because I do not give the results you wish. You are earthly bound and too much heaven would torment you more then you know.

I know you get angry with me, but at least you show up to be with me. I have a dream for your life and it shall be realized. Don't worry I will find you.

I know your desires and I know your frustrations. If every day you were elated, you would never get your fill. You must remain in my presence in order to refrain from screaming. Do not worry I will find you.

Who Is God?

Who is God to you?

Find out in the silence of your room .

Do you have to unlearn what you were taught about God? Friendship with God will give you your answers.

God works in each-person differently. There are no two vessels alike. ·

Mercy and I are mutual friends and so are judgment and self-righteousness. Do not let a

priest or anyone else tell you who God is. This relationship is between you and God.

I was in-darkness and then came a great Light . Do not condemn me nor take flight. It opened its love to me and taught me many things. The heart was all he saw and my heart was given new life.

My heart became his and he taught me wisdom. Wisdom was from his love and I did not need to be educated to understand. His sight was not that of the world and my eyes became bright full of his holiness within me.

He was majestic and no ugliness was within him. He gave rules, but did not use them as v a hammer to beat me. He blinded me instead with his compassion and understanding.

He did not come to judge, but to heal. Truth was his final healing that he gave to me.

I was no longer normal, but divine. I was no longer lost, but confounded by his love everywhere. Every being was touched by his love and it did not matter if they knew. God does not deny his grace, even if others choose not to respond. Their denial does not change the fact that they have been touched by his love.

All of heaven is present even if we do not see them. The angels and saints make a difference in so many lives even though they are too blind to see. We are all touched by grace and his love.

The ones who accept this grace become more aware of the spiritual according to the degree they advance in prayer. Suffering here in this grace of prayer turns to insight and greater compassion.

Darkness without grace turns to bitterness and this lost soul sees no way out but to go along the path of self-destruction. Faith is a commitment no matter how bleak the situation may be.

I wrestle with the spiritual battle every day. His heart opens up in mine and I am given hope that all will work out in the end. This testing ground can be exhausting, but in the end we shall grow closer to him, wrapped in his heart forever. Amen.

You have been in want. You have thirst.

You have been persecuted and driven in exile.

Now you shall know the land of plenty. You shall not want nor thirst.

Your joy in purpose shall find you.

I shall bless all your sorrows.

I want you to know real joy.

I want you to be wealthy in everything.

Charity begins in your heart and you have touched mi ne deeply. I have loved you for all your patient endurance.

You could have spread strife, but instead you chose peace. Those who have hurt you will reap what they sow. Your seed shall continue to grow in a deep felt compassion for all. Your love is what matters not how many deeds.

I was there at your birth and saw your good heart. You are good but you always try to please me. My love grows in your heart ever since the day you chose my love as your greatest reward.

I defend and protect you always. I died so you might love me more and I give you the tree of life. I have not forgotten how close you draw to me and you shall be blessed forever more.

Trust me and know I will never leave you all alone. Those who comfort you shall be blessed and those who curse you shall taste vile on their lips. I chose you and not one can separate me from you nor shall you part.

I ask that you walk across the ocean in faith and rely on me to bring you true peace, love and joy. I have your heart in mind and shall not crush you. I give you wings my love so you may fly to me in full confidence not looking down nor back.

Look at me now and behold my beauty.

My radiance shall warm your heart and you shall have a bright future. Hold me tight

and before long your dreams shall embrace you. Only pray and believe and like a falling star your prayer wish shall be answered. I am here and I love you.

Empty your mind of all thoughts. Empty your mind of all worries.

I give you this gift sometimes and you try on your own.

The gift will be given to you in full even though many times I have given you this gift, this time it will be complete.

Quiet is the key to strength and the key to life. Everyone needs this time before me to know which way I am leading. It gives you a conversion that nothing else can.

Sitting in a monastery or in your room this peace I give to increase your faith.

It is love at its finest and the richest of all treasures. Those who do not take this time are overwhelmed with stress, worry and a mind that is not at rest.

You do not have to add up words when you pray, but just come to me in honest humility. A rosary or the bible can lead you into this prayer of silence. Hear my words and unite to my heart.

I listen to you but words are not necessary before my throne. Talk, listen, but then empty your mind. I will give any this gift who but ask.

Anger is just at the surface, but this prayer of quiet heals your whole being and brings it to rest. Then you are refreshed to give you the courage to face the rest of your week.

This quiet prayer is what the saints thrived on to love me deeply. If you have never done this type of prayer start out slowly and before you know it will be a great need.

I am the way. Those who learn this prayer shall never be the same again. I have brought you here and I intend to take you all the way. Peace I give you and this quiet time shall slowly day by day form you into my image. I love you and I await my bride in this stillness that is everlasting. Amen.

Our Love

Chorus: Our love is beyond the flesh. It is beyond the shell.

It is not the love of Hollywood, but real and true.

Our love is not about looks.

It is about our sensitive hearts

and no friend can match it for we have gotten past the dirt and grime.

We have been around and no what's going on in town. We have been up and down.

We know true love needs not seek greener pastures, for every lawn has its own stench of chaotic madness .

We have been through the madness, but we have found peace. Peace knowing who we have become together on a long road of insecurities, wasted recognition and now no one need tell- -us-who we are.

We need no mirror to see what really matters for all we need do is look in each other's eyes and find comfort. We have found our foundation and need only build upon it.

Many look for this rock near and far but do not find it. We only look within and there in the silence we have the only recognition and love we need.

People shift back and forth never enjoying the breeze, but we sit back feeling it calm us as the moon bums bright. It is not what you look like, nor the job you do, but just being together as we pass through.

We talk. We listen. We take care of each other before the day is through. We are no heroes but our little acts of love nurture us and provide our needs. If people were to ask the secret of life I would say God and our love he has blessed.
Lo and Behold I fight the greatest battle. I am the most powerful angel to fight against the devil. I have the keys to win freedom for God's people.

Day and night I protect you. I put on your door as of old a cross of blood. This cross protects you and keeps holiness arou nd you like a halo or magic cloud. Darkness is afraid to enter. The holy water you use insures you double protection.

I have protected you from things you will never know until you are in heaven. Talk to me often for I am your greatest aid in so many things. God does not take lightly his love for you and offers me to you.

I have drawn you to many things such as holy water, holy scripture and holy mass. Your prayers help my power to become stronger and it is easier to guide you on your exciting journey! I am the angel that chose God and the other chose a life of separation from his only good.

I give you many gifts and insights. You have so much more to receive. Your life close to God will only get better. Many times you and I have fought a brave battle. I unite to your holy heart and bring about so many blessings and changes. I have only to unite to God and you shall reap the benefits.

My beauty and wisdom is beyond any on earth. I share my knowledge with you to bring you closer to God. Do not lose heart for if you only knew how close I draw near to you. My mission is to bring you safely home to the kingdom of love. My special role is matched by no other angel. Each has a special role, but I head the army to fight until the end.

Someday Jesus is coming with all his angels. It will be a sight to behold like no other. When you die you are not alone. We angels guide you safely home to heaven, so when you discover this heaven we will be there to share it with you. No one likes to share special moments alone, for it is too good to keep to yourself.

I will not waiver from my purpose until I take you to heaven. I will be so honored to share this special time with you . Until I see you here I rest not day or night keeping watch over you. May your dreams be sweet and their lessons ever keep you humble before the merciful loving savior Jesus Christ.

Saints

I think the Catholic church frustrates us or do they? The saints are portrayed as close to perfect. Very rarely are their faults discussed. We are only human so how can we be like them. It is good in a way for they are recognized for their good qualities. How many times do people only tell us our faults and never recognize the saint in us. I think an honest view of both would be good. Saint and sinner with hopefully a little more saint before we die. We feel close to God and it seems easier to dream then to take action. Why does God seem to give more grace to someone like Padre Pio? We all each have a different role to play. May we pray our way into sainthood and take the action required. We all are called to be more like God, while the devil calls us to be little demons. May our halos push down our horns each passing day. This is just a thought for the day.

I guide. I teach. I love. I weep. I am the eye of your heart.

I am the heart of your soul.

I give you peace when none can be found. I calm your nerves when life is too frustrating.

I work magic when all hope is lost.

I see beauty, when ugliness is all around. I stop you to smell the flowers, when you are so tiered of moving on. I give you desires, when your strength is spent. I give you love, when you don't care anymore and then you share that love with a soul more lost then you.

I care for you deeply when you are very sad. I never tire of you even though you don't want to reach out to me. I know you desire me in your heart, but sometimes I disappoint you. I only want the best for you and I do want you to soar to the heavens, by being with me.

I have only heaven in mind for you and I know you have not always the insight to appreciate this. You are special to me and I have so many graces in store for you. You shall love me more and more as your most ardent desire, ask of me. I shall not deny you my love, which I know is most important to you.

I created you to give you love. Love not what you see, but that which is hidden. Everything hidden shall be open to you as we grow close together. You shall mark heaven as your gage for this is the beginning for you and your final journey.

My heart seeps in your very being and my body is united to you through the mass.

I started in your heart as a small mustard seed and you have grown in my love as a huge tree, which seeks its source to receive the water of life. I am proud of your faith in me and you have stayed with me through all the storms. I walk across the water through the storm to save you and to love you beyond anything else you have known. Be not frustrated or sad for very long for my peace shall bring you to your final resting place.

I give you heaven now and forever more. I am guiding you to a plane of wonder and awe. You shall know much so that when you pass it shall be as smooth as flying from one world to the world of total love. Many miracles lie ahead and I am here for you like a healing balm soothing you in mind and spirit. Keep the magic alive like a dream.

Sometimes many from heaven talk to you in your dreams. Learning will be like this, first a dream of ease and then the dream shall come to life.

.Magic

Keep the magic alive in your life.

Explore books that bring discernment and insight. Future projects you do make it exciting. Look to learning as your major tool of magic, spiritual insight and a way to add meaning to your life. Seek goals that will profit you in every way. Stay close to me and I will show you the way to a very special path. Keep the magic of Christmas in your heart every day. Look to do good to anyone who comes across your path.

I will give you the goals that will add such meaning and purpose to your life. Life is short and I want you not to worry. I want you to seek out the greater good in everything and for everyone.

Think of a movie or dream that has given you a feeling of magic and awe. Seek this lesson in every step you take. Share your joy with others and your small circle will expand before you know it. Magic has a way of spreading like love.

The more devotion you show to me, the more shall this grow in every area of your life. I do not want you to suffer anymore then you have to. Grow with my grace and your lessons shall be less painful. People suffer because they ignore the path I have in mind for them.

I love giving gifts to those who are open to them with their whole mind, heart and soul. Your whole being must explore your life with me. We are on this path together and my love will heal you in every way.

I have added to your life every year and will continue to do so. There is so much love and goodness. It is my job to help you find it. There is so much magic in life and this magic will be there for you when you return to me in heaven. Life is too short to worry and stay depressed for the key to suffering is to find the magic in spite of your pain.

The magic is in your heart, mind and soul. Stay connected with me so I may give it to you in full measure. Then it will be released in you, your whole being and you shall spread it to others. This magic will be released in to the atmosphere and the world shall feel it. There is much magic in the Catholic church, which sets the stage for my love to be felt. The statues, my body and the candles are the true magic of life. This magic you take part of shall be spread to the ends of the earth.

Everyone who has a part of my love and magic can make a difference in so many lives. I have great faith in so many who just want to love me. I am the love this world needs, so my faithful friend keep the hope, magic and love alive. I shall see you soon and we will make a difference together.

You are disappointed for this year you still have not reached some of your goals. Be still the New Year is coming. This will be the year for rebirth. It will be a time of new hopes.

Each year means new treasures. Each sadness brings something positive to hold on to. We will go where no man has dared to go. We have a story to tell and love to share. We have what it takes to make a difference and change permanently.

Everything shall be blessed and made new. Stay in reality, but see all the opportunities for growth. As a nation we will rise and not be forgotten. This is the year for God. This nation needs a new soul in order to right the wrongs we have made. We must be responsible or we will pay a heavy price.

Let us try to remember the good times and add on to these. We must not grow bitter and plan our get even schemes. This only hurts us as a nation in the long run. One individual suffers so much at the hands of vengeance and gossip so that this suffering spreads like a deadly cancer or a fire out of control.

The soul must be remembered or all will be lost. Let us get the soul back in our nation and spread this good cheer. Let this be a year of fervent prayerful devotion. If we take GOD out of the equation then we separate the soul from its only good.

Prayer is the key, so let us not take this lightly, for the other direction without prayer is what our nation has been through. Things will only get worse if we do not worship the God of love, who is the only one that can save us. Let us as a nation go back to the rule of the dollar bill which is "In GOD we Trust." He is our ultimate authority.

Trust me even when you wonder why I let certain things happen I keep everything good in mind. You only have to worry about a few troubles. I allow life which is sadness and peace. I allow for every assistance even though bad things may happen. I do not cause everything to happen, but I give you what you need before you ask.

Trust me in the storms for this is when you see my real power. Trust me in good times because I want you to have joy. Enjoy the good as a gift from me, because I love you. When the storm comes see the good I bring to you. I must keep you on the right path so you follow your destiny. I sometimes have to give you a jolt in order for you to know my will.

I know stress is draining, but you shall learn to climb those mountains with little turbulence. Your peace will not leave and you shall feel my loving guidance and my warm embrace. You have me in a very close way and this is your strength . I made you each separate for you could not bear the pain of the whole world as I can.

If you are close to someone you can feel their pain, but you cannot be in their skin. I made this form of protection for each one of you. Do not think you understand anyone at all even if it be a similar problem for, they may have mountains of hurt you know not about.

Compare only for reasons of avoidance making the same mistake and for compassion so you do not judge that which you do not understand. It is also for to gain appreciation for what you have. Do not compare with others, for your growth is the only thing you can measure. Some people may inspire you, but do not put them up high, for only I belong on this high peak. The saints are to inspire you to pray.

I will not destroy you, even though you may be shaken for a time. You may weep but I bring consolation . You may laugh for it is good medicine. I help you to make light of your problems and to reach out to others. Do not carry your pain as a medal, but as a heart that loves and does not count the cost. Be open to my love and harshness shall melt away like a bad dream.

Take away with you tonight hope. Know my love is the knowledge saints never stopped trying to discover. You are not alone. I am here and I love you. The valleys, mountains, fields and deserts are the places where you will grow and know how important my love is. You shall grow in my love and then you will find yourself home at last.

The wind can be cool and refreshing, but it can also be cold and bitter.

I think of the wind trying to get in like a nightmare corning true, when it is cold and bitter. Spring gives rise to hope and dreams.

Oh, Dear Bridegroom come to me like the wind in spring, not as a punishment. To be without you is to be dead.

You are my dream, where other dreams can connect through you.

Oh, my Bride I shall come to you like a lake in the spring. The water shall soothe you. Breathe me in and feel my peace. My love is not turmoil, but an anchor.

Stay close to me and you shall know romance being my bride .

Oh, Bridegroom I would be lost without you, so do not hide your face from me.

I long to see you in heaven and it is torment to not be with you in your fullness. I love this life because of you, but I am not fully alive when I am denied all of you.

Oh, Bride your time shall come, but for now lay your head on my breast. I shall nurse you and make you grow strong. You are my jewel and you shall shine because of my love.

Oh, Bridegroom please not let me grow weak, for I am beaten by the wind. I could not breathe if it were not for your spirit. The wind is so cold and bitter and waits to overtake me.

I shall overtake you and make you not want for nothing. You are faithful and shall grow beyond your years. My light is your sun even in darkness. Rest my dear and when you awake new strength shall renew you. I make the wind and it shall be your friend. I know every storm so have no fear. I will sing you to sleep, and we will harmonize in your dreams so sweet.

Oh, Bridegroom I may now rest. Your love sustains me and gives me new hope. I shall rest with the sound of your sweet voice and your majestic songs. Thank you for being with me, even though I be far from perfect. Your love is perfect and accepts a poor sinner like me. I am your lover and you are my Beloved. Let me die if I should ever forget you.

Listener: The words of love are spoken and now they are heard. Faith increases with each word uttered by God
Chorus: You are wicked to tease me. You are wicked to free me. You got the devil in your eyes And I am hypnotized .

We were free walking in the fields. We layed down in the tall grass.

You brought me to my knees.

You were a snake that poisoned me.

I was like a moth in your spider web.

Slowly I got eaten and then I burned, oh baby did I burn . The poison made me paralyzed. I was puddy in your hands and you are not the beauty, but the beast.

You were wicked to leave me. Now I feel lost in a maze.

Where do I go?

Where do the bitten heal?

I trust not your heart. For it is cold and bleak. You have no heart

And I am left to scream.

The darkness is coming.

Oh, baby burn, burn, burn.

I hope to see you swallowed up, By your own web of lies.

I want to see the devil burn.

I want to see her head turn.

I want to see the vomit come out. Then I will see her on fire.

I gotta learn from being burned. Hope I go for the heart.

Not a body like a goddess, For she was no angel.

Accept me in this moment as I come to you . I do not come to you in glitter and gold, but in the quiet of your heart, mind and soul. I am hidden, and I do not choose at this moment to be uncovered. Your heart seeks me out in this silence and we are as one.

I give you struggles to help you grow. Pain and suffering are part of your walk with me. Saints have suffered much to gain the freedom of my kingdom. I give you peace, love and joy to comfort you.

It is not about the prize that awaits you, but the walk to get there. Dreams are my message to you. I want you to have hope of reaching your destiny. Be satisfied with all I give you and where you are now. I do not mean that you should not wish to grow, but

be happy with this moment.

This moment I come to you in one way and the next shall be different. Enjoy each moment with me and how I feed you spiritually. You are hidden in my heart and your life shall remain also. I need only be the one to see your changes and you shall have freedom. The wings of a butterfly are like my angels , who must crawl in order to fly.

My saints suffered much for the visions they had . I suffered much but yet much was given to me by my Father. We three share are love with you and this is your reality. We visit and sup with you in order that you may believe and hope in our eternal love. You are my vessel but you must me molded in every way.

Your body is my body and your blood is my blood. Your eyes shall see me more clearly. You shall hear the truth which is my heart. The Holy Spirit will possess you totally in mind , body, soul and spirit. This transformation takes time. This transformation may continue in the next life. Know that I am happy where you are at this moment.

I have a time when you shall receive your wings, but crawl like you can fly. Fly like you can crawl. Do not be frustrated for my timing is perfect. Be open to my spirit and will. Love my will and your attitude will change. My will knows better then yours what shall lead you on in continual sanctifying grace. I have the message and you have the grace to hear it. You can see, touch, smell and love this message.I am the messenger so love me more then the gifts you receive. You have my love now, so do not envy anyone. What else matters but my love, whether you be poor or rich.

The poor shall rejoice for they are rich. The sad rejoice for they are happy. You have the only heaven you need, time and love with me. I will become more real to you every

day. You shall reach heaven, but it will be along the narrow path. I love you and I know you love me. I give as the world can never give to you.

Just as with all the opposites it takes experience. To know patience you must first know what impatience is. If you are going through loneliness, you shall know this opposite. If you are grieving you shall know joy.

Rest in me. No sorrow or joy is forever. Your life is always changing, but I shall prepare you for all. Each moment is chosen by me. I feed and water you for growth to occur. The joy that shall see you through this life is constant intimacy with me. Nothing in this life is secure but me.

I want to give you freedom throughout this spectrum of opposites. Your prayers are my greatest reward and so shall they be for you. The world is focused on things that do not last. Look at nature and be still. Your inner beauty is what I count as my treasure.

True freedom is in your heart. Welcome me there and a whole new world shall unfold before you. I am the magic in a world of tragedy. I am the true light in darkness. The real tragedy of life is that the care of the soul is on the bottom of the list or not even there. Writing your list for the day should include me for at least one hour.

The opposite of hidden is to be revealed. The opposite of neglect is attention. I make these transitions of life a smoother journey, but without me where is the meaning? Who am I? What is my teaching for the day, meant just for you? Why are you here? The main agenda is to stay close to me.

I answer your prayers. I love and guide you. I said I love you. Do you know or meditate on my love for you? The tree does not say I am great, but that the creator made me.

Humans are the only ones who puff themselves up, when every good they have is from me.

I love a thankful heart. I love a humble spirit that loves me. I reward all, but those who love me receive many special blessings. I am the Santa Clause at Christmas and the love that is shared. It should be Christmas in your hearts every day. I love you. Take the

time for me and your soul shall bloom in the snow.
I Am Darkness

I walk where there is no light.

It is cold and dark. I am full of hatred and I know no peace. There is no love here. No God is present, which means turmoil .

I cry for all eternity and there is no release. I have no hope and I am close to not one. I chose this place with my actions and little did I think what I did mattered.

So many in the world were just like me, so I said it must be okay. I did not think God was there and now I am painfully wrong. I no longer have the choice to reach out for love and now I am an island . I am lonely and alone.

All who are here are moaning and weeping. It is bitter tears and there is no release nor healing . I was blind to God, to myself and others. I now need no eyes to see for only darkness surrounds me. I need not have ears for all I hear is vile and ugly. This fire is torture and there is no way out.

I walked in life asleep and my soul was dead. I knew no life and death covered me. I was cold and indifferent to the spirit, which seemed so far away. You cannot hide from God , for even in hell is judgement is upon you .

I was lukewarm towards God and relied on my own goodness which I was convinced of. I made a choice each time I refused the grace and love of God. I paid no heed to the life after death and invested my time in useless endeavors.

I wanted to learn, but that learning did not include my soul.

Now I know since I am here that the only true knowledge worth having is of God's love and grace. There is the knowledge of God existing here, but there is no grace for the weary. This burden is eternal and now my cold heart shall never die. Wake up or else you shall see me soon. I am an example of what happens to those who neglect their soul and reject God. God was not a popular word for me on earth and less so now. I wish I could sleep and escape this madness, but there are no more dreams of glory here.

The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius

Albert- I read his book before, but now I am on the videos about these exercises which are very helpful. One thing the priest said to reflect on is What is hell? Hell is not my favorite topic, but I lit the candle and asked God what is hell? The candle went out and I want you to know it was spooky. Then even though I did not want to write about hell, in was inspired to write "I Am In Darkness."

Christmas

Christmass!

I was born poor, but the riches havi ng the most loving family. I remained chaste to be closer united to my Father. I remained an outcast to so many, to become your best friend. I obeyed my Father to bring all to him, loving his wil l.

I fought the enemy so all could be free. I was born to serve and save. I was not seen as a success in the worlds' eyes, but to the only eyes that matter, those of my Father. I was perfection, but seen as the most vile.

Bring me no gifts this Christmas, but yourself. Bring a smile to all and wish them well. Make not this the only time you think of others, but all year round . Forget self and give love freely.

There is a reason why more believe in me then any other. My Father is at work and does not rest. I gave my life so you could live. I am here waiting for you and so many need your time.

I wish you good cheer throughout the year. Not one day passes that I am not near. Not one moment have I not been mindful of you . I am the reason for the season and forget not my spirit at this important time.

I bring families together at this time and loved ones. May you have a song in your heart and beat in your step. May you spread kindness and bring comfort to all. I wish you peace, love and joy. My gift to you is love. I give it freely and hold nothing back. It is my birthday, please wish me a Happy Birthday and then just give me your whole being. The good thing.about Jesus'birthday is- I share it with all. Merry Christmas!

Watch and Wait

Watch and wait for my perfect timing. I will lead you on your directed path.

Be not afraid. I have come to give you life and to save you . Your healing will be as a soft cool breeze, a dream that will awaken you. You have the control with my power.

I shall not let the enemy defeat you for I guard your brain, heart, soul and spirit day and

night. You shall walk in the storm with a rainbow as a halo. My love shall penetrate your very being and you shall know my truths. My peace shall comfort you and I am your only reality. I started the church to give boundaries and let not the evil spirits deceive you.

The church is the root of your foundation and this church is your home. I give the scriptures as a way to increase your faith by hearing . The sacraments are your safety among so many liars. I was perfect and any who say different are not true believers. You must accept all of me and my body will save you .

The devil will take a truth through people, whom he uses and twist it, but it is still a lie. Those who do not listen to me are not truly in prayer. Conversation works two ways.

Many are afraid of intimacy with me and therefore never reach their full potential. I shall talk to you soon.
I Am Rejected

I am cast down, but for the love of my Father. I thought if I died it would make a difference to so many, but how few reach to me. I hurt when my people hurt for they go through the same rejection. I am so hurt by all the indifference .

I am treated as a plague . I am seen as a fad and forgotten. I am still seen as crazy through my people . My words do not matter and how may I give to closed doors? The Holy Spirit is just cast aside. My pain is beyond any of my servants, but I ask them to share my crosses as well.

I do not want any to be forced to accept my love, but without out it they are in darkness. They do not even comprehend this and go on their merry way. I have tried to give sight to the blind, but they refuse my light. The deaf do not want to hear, but continue in their illusions.

The shallow are worse than those in deep pain, for they are the real lost here. I love my sensitive people for they know my pain and honor me for the many tears I shed. What I ask my servants to share is hard, but the reward shall be sweet. I have been patient waiting for all, but soon justice must prevail. My Mother cannot hold back my judgement for very long.

I remember my servants who love me and this alone gives me consolation. I hurt for so many and I wait for the day when I can bring my people home. Hell is a choice and I force no one there either. Every choice made in a life is so important. Forgiveness is the key, but I shall gather up the weeds soon.

I am your heart don't you see that. I love you like no other and I want your love in return. I want you to come to me freely with no hindrance and no act of duty.

I breathed life in you from your first day and now you say you are not my son nor daughter. Oh, the pain of so much neglect, indifference and rejection . I go away, because it is as you wish.

The hateful things people do to each other causes me so much grief for I made my family as one and now you stand on division. You have learned so little since I took you out of Egypt. My love could bring all together, but so many refuse my generous gift. I love my servants who feel my pain and comfort me. My true friends shall be called blessed in heaven and they shall have everlasting joy. Build not your house on sand or your soul shall blow away to oblivion. I am the rock .

Dreams

First let me tell you of a dream I had. I wondered why I kept waking up first at one, then three with the dream and finally at six. God wanted me to remember my dream. I dreamt that I was in a different apartment, living alone. The apartment to me represents the sanctuary where I get close to the Lord which is usually alone. I am talking to my friend Albert who is really excited about something, but I am half listening for I cannot believe it is him calling so late. Plus in the bedroom which I can see into, I am drawn to it because I am afraid Satan is in there. I hang up on Albert and go in to the bedroom. I walk in and see the end table in between the two beds. I do not notice things, just the furniture there to serve a purpose. I am not materialistic and this is not my focus. I walk in to the bedroom then, on my way out all of a sudden I am levitating in the air and there is Satan's face. It is evil, ugly and I am afraid the closer I get the more ugly will his face be. I now feel as if I am going to fly towards him with no control. I find his face close up is not any uglier, in fact he is about the same. I say, "In the Name of Jesus leave." I say this twice and both times he shakes his head no. The third time I am irritated and I just utter the word leave. I then wake up. I think dreams talk about balance . We strive always to seek balance.

I am too concerned with my dark side in this dream. Before it use to be denial, but now I need to focus more on the good of myself. I hung up on Albert who is a symbol of a spiritual advisor. I need to focus more on God. The levitation means I am reaching a higher plane spiritually.

I am brave to face my dark side and to fight the spiritual battle within myself and the real battle that goes on between good and evil. The enemy is distracting me from drawing closer to God. I am a threat because I am climbing to another plane.

I believe every character in the dream is a part of myself. This keeps the focus on me, not on others. God is trying to give me this lesson in my dream. Dreams are not about others, but about each of us. Just like the bible we are to keep the focus on ourselves and what God is trying to tell us . The devil represents the dark side of myself. Albert represents me the side focused on God. I ask God for help and he will heal me. None of us will ever probably reach perfect balance, for it is like a scale sometimes heavier on one side. The dream may have many meanings and different levels, but if you remember that each character is us. We all have a dark side, which we must look at. Jung was spiritual and I believe he had the right idea with his interpretations.

I believe God is always trying to teach us and when something happens it is for a reason and the main is of course to draw close to him and trust him. l let fear or anxiety to be my focus at times instead of totally trusting that God knows what is best . I have been able in my own life no matter if it be good times or bad to see some of the things God wanted me to learn. I don't think we know all the reasons, but God will reveal to me what he wants me to know. I am a better person and not one experience was a waste to get me where I am now. I cannot change without God's grace.

I like what a priest said. He said those who have endless activity are not living in God's grace. We need that quiet time to reflect. Praying is not doing nothing, but the best thing you can do. Dreams give me glimpses of what God wants me to know about my growth. I hope this is helpful to someone. I just ordered a video of I believe someone Chinese who shows priests and nuns exercises that will help with their meditation.

Saint Joseph The Hidden

I have always been a silent man, but one of strength. I have been submissive to Mary and to the Lord. I cradled him in my arms many a night. I worked hard to take care of my family and protect them.I now in heaven wait to be used. Too many have forgotten me and know not my power. I want to be used and be a friend to all.

I was deemed worthy to be the father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Think about this awesome responsibility, which I did not deem myself worthy to underttake. I am still silent for so many do not ask for my help. Mary is the most powerful, but next to her I come with great love to bring all close to Jesus.

Many have used me, but not as many do now. I feel sad for I want to do my part . I remain hidden but not out of sight. I love all of you like a father loves his children.

I would like to see the world shake if I thought it would lift all hearts to the God who is forever. I am eager to bring your requests to Jesus who is open to your love.

Many have prayed in vain and then turn to me finding their miracles to come true. God has given me even more responsibility now to bring all home. We all in heaven wish all to be home.

Many I have through the Lord provided them a home, husband and a career they could enjoy. I have so much to give all of you and I want to be your friend. Talk to me and find the truest of friends right inside your heart.

I have a special place in the Lord's heart for being his father and a husband to Mary. He will not refuse me if it be for the good of a soul and it bring them true happiness. Ask and you shall receive. The Lord hears the desires of your heart and I am in communion with the Lord constantly and forever pleading your causes on your behalf. I help those who do not know how to ask, but oh how much sweeter it would be if they asked me for help.

You can of course always talk to the Lord directly but we saints just make it easier for you to draw closer to the Lord, making your passing to the next life easier. We intercede for the world and God is pleased to let us help all of you. All in heaven are so involved in the joyful work of bringing all home forever. Jesus, Mary and Joseph is the order it should be. Do not forget the one who was a father to the Lord here on earth. I will be praying for all of you and wish you joy!

You will know how much we all have helped you when you return home forever. Think of all the ones who will greet you, who you asked for help. We will be together again like long lost friends. The angels and saints will all celebrate with you when you receive the crown of life. Amen.

Mother Teresa

I gave until it hurt. I gave and gave until I was spent. The Lord drove me on to do this work and I did it with love.

I did not try to convert anyone, but just to love them. I do not think it is right to manipulate someone to change, but just love them and let God's love change them. It is not right to take advantage of the ones society did not want to claim.

I believe all those suffering I took care of went straight to heaven. No one can know the will of God for each person. I was there to love them and let them die in dignity. I educated the young, so they would have a chance to make it in a world of so much poverty.

Just do one act of charity a day, pray and add on to it every day. Charity may include doing the dishes or letting someone in line during traffic. Let charity include helping others like visiting the sick in nursing homes or cleaning a person's house who is too sickly.

I promise you before long your life will be one of loving charity. Act now and blossom like a butterfly. This is the year for so much change. This is the time to make a difference in so many lives. Ask God and he will help you make the changes you need to make in all areas of your life.

There comes a time to act. Do not fix anyone, but just love them. What you think may need fixing God loves the most. Try to see Jesus in every person and then loving will come easier. Ihad a certain calling, but all have something God has placed them here to do.

Unless someone is hurting you let them be who they are. We are not the judge nor do we know God's will for that person. God is the changer of hearts and we should not think we have not plenty to change of our own. Give and then give more.

I am here always to inspire you and lead you on to love. God is love, do not use fear to convert. God is perfect love, where fear should not be. Yes examine yourself daily, but never forget God's great love for you. You are his child and you have a right to be here. Love is the key to every door. Use kindness to put an end to fighting. None of you have all the answers. You might learn from the very one you were trying to teach. May God bless you and may his love shine in your hearts.

Your Heart

Your heart is precious.

It is pure and seeks only to love.

It does not stop beating even when it is so tiered of beating.

Your heart has been broken and been driven to despair.

The nights were so long

and the days linger on.

Chorus:

You are my love

I seek you every day.

I shall always love you.

You shall weather the storms.

You have been misunderstood until those looking at your shell see the light shine within you

a light so pure and full of depth.

The pain you have endured not too many could fathom nor

could they stand it without going mad. You have been driven to madness but you are home again in my arms.

Our love shall endure.

For we have seen all kinds of weather.

We have the strength and character to hold each other tight in a spiritual

embrace and this special light surrounds us.

When the world can no longer see. When the world no longer listens.

When they only want to be involved with themselves . We shall be in peace loving like we should.

I kiss you each morning. I hold you each night.

We shall be together forever in a world of love and light.

I see your heart.

I know your soul. When you turn to dust. There shall I be.
,..

The Last Supper

I spent my days and nights preparing for this great event. I lived a life of sorrow, but also one of joy and prayer. I joked and laughed at the wedding feast and many of these gatherings.

I loved my time with my mother, father and friends. I also of course witnessed to many people and communed with them in prayer. We sometimes would have all night prayer vigils and then other times in front of the camp fire we would dance, laugh and sing.

Being a part of a community was very important to me and very up lifting . I needed these times as well as time alone in solitude.

My mother and father taught me to pray. My mother and I would read the bible together and we would on special holy days pray all night. My parents taught me discipline ,which would never fail me in days to come.

I was born with the knowledge of many things and one of the events was the Last Supper. The night was filled with many emotions. One feeling was that of respect for my Father and the mystical reverence for such a night as this.

I had to prepare my disciples to say good-bye to me. I had to teach them to spread this

night to all who would listen. Eat my body and drink my blood I said to them, for this

was to be my memorial to them and all who would follow. We laughed, cried and sang of the great love of the Father.

Someday all my people shall see and be a part of this night. You all shall know of my life here in every detail. You will know the things that were not told and then your new life will begin.

The last supper was mystical, bitter and sweet. This night was the beginning of everything to come. The Holy Spirit would rest upon all who were believers. I welcome all to reflect on my life, so you feel closer to me and my life becomes more real to you. Dwell on the Last Supper and you shall have peace. Get a picture of the Last Supper, light a candle and then be at peace. Read any books that will be helpful for you to better understand this night.

Eat my body and drink my blood so you shall have eternal life. Amen. Janet- Marie - A part of the Trinity Family.

Mary

I have been with you from the beginning. I led you to the Father and then to my Son. I was calling you when you were lost.

I protected you because I knew how close you would be with my son.

I miss our talks and now God is leading you back to me. I always try to draw others to my Son. I am so glad God used me to bring you close to my heart.

My suffering was much in this life, but the joy in heaven surpasses all that by loving you. God lets me be such an inspiration to so many, who just need love. Trust is so important in a world of deceit and a world of those asleep and knowing not their souls.

I knew you from the beginning and I am so proud of your heart. I am so proud how you try so hard to draw close to my son and all of heaven. I have known your struggles, but still you have loved me. There is so much to you and I know many will never know. I know and I wish that you knew more and how dearly you have touched my heart.

You have so much to do for my son and for me and yet time is so short. I am always there for you, even if you feel so alone. You have my love forever and I know how much you love me. I shall lead you to where the Lord wants you to be. Do not lose heart, for how could we fail you my beautiful soul. You have such a childlike faith and such a huge heart. I wait for you to call on me and then I am there to fight off every evil.

I have the greatest power of all the saints and I just beg to be used for all my children. I want to draw all my children close, but so many are lost. Oh, my joy I have loved you for so long. You will be used and I head up the army to aid you in your missions. You have such power to draw on from God, me and all the angels and saints. Know this fully and there is nothing that you and I cannot do together.

Your prayers in the darkness, with a lit candle touch so many lives and the Lord is drawing you towards others that will share their lives with you. Your prayers I know are powerful and I have let you feel my powerful presence many times. There are so many more times we will have together and I have so much to share with you. I need to use you in a world that is divided and we are preparing you for a great journey.

Seek me out in every church, in nature and in your heart for there you will find me. I have so much to give you and much to teach you. You are my special delight and we will fight your battles together and pray madly, mystically and powerfully because our time is grounded in love. I shall speak to you soon and dream of me love as I watch you sleeping.

# ,

The Word of God Perfected Within Me

I am Mary the mother of all .

Color is the perfection of my Son's soul. His white light is such perfection, that color is the result of his perfection .

When you see color you see his soul.

I lived here on earth as his perfection. He reigned within my heart and his word was my living flesh. I came to save souls through his love. I now reign in heaven and I am forever leading so many to my son.

I have come daughter to seek out in every dark crevice and shine his light here in these hidden places. I see the evil and it flees from me, for they all know my power. Evil shall not remain in my presence. It shall spew out its own vomit and as the Holy Water touches it with the blessing the evil shall feel safer in the fires of hell .

The Sacraments shall be the strength of this country, the word and my blessed Rosary. You have silent prayer, which is a result of all these endeavors. I come to bring my Son's love to all and I weep for those who refuse him. I still suffer for all the lost and the suffering for heaven does not make me indifferent to so much loss.

If only war were not in the minds of men, but love and good tidings. Men could be at peace, but their lust for power, their greed and wanting to be an idol as brought the power of Satan to great heights. God is the ultimate ego that should be in each soul, but all want to drown him out with their pride. Pride is vanity and it has not a place in the kingdom. All could be brought low, with just one word from God.

Selfish love forbids the Holy Spirit to show his real power. He is the one who makes God real to all his people. Obedience is simply being open to God's Grace, so he may mould you into his perfection . No saint starts out perfect, but his grace makes it possible. Be open my children to his love and be in communion with him. He shall make all your struggles worthwhile. Just have a willing heart and struggle to overcome yourself and he will make your perfection possible.

Rome was not built in a day and he has a purpose for your struggles. You would not appreciate his power if everything came easy to you. He starts you out small, so you may see his progression and then you look back and realize how he has perfected you. All can reach this perfection if they have the right heart and mind and no greater desire then to be close to the Lord. Follow him and you shall know his perfection.

I followed him every step of the way, even unto death. Do not be afraid to touch every part of his life, for you shall know true joy and peace. I regret not one tear that brought me close to his hearth and the joy is beyond words. Fear not this life, for it is to prepare you for your eternal home. I shall talk to you soon daughter. Thank you for letting me share with others the love of the Lord. Mary Magdeline wants to share her words soon and many of the saints and angels. Thank you daughter for letting heaven use you as our vessel to spread hope to the world. Amen.

Heaven

There are golden streets and clear pure

clean blue water. There are crystal lakes and very bright flowers. The universe is connected in love. My love is everywhere and sung all over.

Everyone is close and there is no division. No walls which try to block out evil for there is none here. Everyone knows their purpose and they do it with joy. There are no burdens to lay down and no pain.

We all come together to love. There is no one trying to prove they are better for all are equal in dignity. Each one has his own blessing for the life they lived and no one feels threatened by another's gift. Each feel joy for each other and are proud of all who have lived.

I share my love with each one in so much depth that each one knows they are loved and in heaven. Heaven is possible on earth to the degree that each one spend time with me in my loving presence. It is not the heaven here, but some day each one will know the complete freedom here.

Freedom is possible now on earth if each one just embrace my love with all their heart.

No peace is like what I offer. I am the heart and soul of everyone and everything. If a book has no soul it might as well be in the trash. Where is the soul of my people?

Heaven is safe and everyone here is as joyful as children. There are no worries, no stress and no spiritual battle to fight for it is won. Evil is not allowed here and there is not one unkind word here. It is loving support beyond your dreams. Your new heavenly body frees you and it is not a prison. You are not weighed down by the flesh and the spirit roams free here like love should.

The mansion is the center of my love. You are free to love without restriction and no one is turned away. We work together to free the earth of filth and to open up to it my love. I give everyone a free will, but so many do not know the key. The key is my love, which is eternal life. Suffer only a short time and then join us on our mission of love.

Heaven has so much to give you and yet you choose prison. I am The Way, The Truth and The Light. There is no other road which leads to my kingdom, accept to draw close to me and I shall set you free. Chains are but sins against my nature. I offer my nature to you and then shall you follow.

The Little Flower

God begun a good work in me and now my work continues. I do good here on earth to bring souls to the center of Christ's love. I adore my Lord and I want all to know his complete love.

How could one not love such a victim of love, who shed his blood for no other reason, but to love. He wants our love and wanted to save all from their sins. I was blessed to have found him so young in my life and continue this innocence until death. St. Paul knew not my walk, but his was even more powerful in showing the works of the Lord.

The Lord treats all the same once they turn to him in love. He does not care about the past and the present moment is the moment of his grace to produce holiness or another Christ. Christ works differently in each soul, but it is his same grace. We each have our own book to write, so not one walk is identical.

I beg all to come to the Lord in silence. This is the key to all things. His love is the only safety and secure path. I glorify the Lord day and night. My heaven on earth was the only thing that kept me sane and longing for the narrow path. The narrow path is where few will follow, but here the angels are at work in a most profound way.

Angels fear to tread paths that are of destruction and separation from God. They are not afraid of evil, but afraid for the lost soul. They long to bring each soul to this center, so each may know the true love of God .This place is nothingness, a place of not self- indulgent love, but to forget self. To be another Christ is for Christ to dwell fully in a soul that has emptied itself of all desire, but to love only their beloved.

I come to say all is possible with God .There is no miracle too great for God and each soul may share in the mystery of God. I know what God did for me on earth and I know what he can do for each one of you . Do not lose hope nor give up the struggle, for your reward will be great. I have a place in my heart for each one of you who turns to me,for I will surely lead each one to the Lord along the narrow path.

I want to lead all to the Lord, but my special mission is to bring souls to the center of the castle, where all the treasures lie. The Lord is a priceless rose and a pearl of great value. Bring a rose and pearl placing them in front of my statue. This is also true of the Blessed Mother and all of heaven, which will insure prayers being answered and a veryspecial blessing. The Lord will not grant anything that shall be harmful to your soul, but shall grant you true joy.

Call on me and I shall shower you with many blessings. I want the Lord to be everything to you, the way he is to me. I will gladly do the work of the Lord and when the world here is at an end then my mission shall be complete. We all will celebrate in heaven that all our home in heaven for eternity. Until then use me to draw you in to this sanctity for which you are all called. You are daughters and sons of the almighty God, so nothing less will do, then to love him with your whole being. Amen

,,.

St. Theresa of Avila

I once said that no wonder Jesus has not many friends, for the heavy trials I endured. I deep down knew his great love, but life can be such a burden. I wanted many times for this life I led to be over, but I had still much work to do.

God gave me the gift of writing and he used this gift to give hope and to promote

growth in his servants. I am so proud to of done good, including the many monasteries I founded. Not all have such things to leave behind, but there little acts will mean so

much in heaven. I was blessed by God, but it was he who really did the good work, using me as his tool.

A tool needs to be sharpened and put in the fire, in order for it to continue to be a useful instrument. I suffered in many ways including my health, but God sustained me through it all.

It took me all my life to reach the center of his castle. St. John the Cross wrote a lot about the dark night of the soul. We want the consolations, but many times we must be in this place of darkness. I do not state these things, but to assure each one of you that God is always faithful. We must suffer trials in order to reach the perfection he desires for each of us.

I want each of you to know of the great love God has for you. The flesh is weak, but God shall win all your battles for you . You may lose faith due to your weaknesses, but

it is God's grace that you must count on. We are not the strength here, it is God. He has chosen everything in our life, including the crosses to bring us closer to him. He has his own time to heal us. He knows what each can handle daily.

When you marry you must accept the hard times as well . You would not be marriage material if you leave when things are difficult. Marriage to God is loyalty, love and a promise to stay united to him. He wants happiness and peace for all. Our sins block out the joy and peace he is trying to give. God's love is perfect and with this comes perfect joy.

I had many consolations from God and true peace. Each one has the grace of God, which you must open your heart to.

He gives freely and wants each to be open to the supernatural peace and virtues he offers. Not one good deed alone means anything without the grace of God. There is so much to God and in the silence of your room is where you will find him.

I regret not one thing I did for God. I regret not one act of kindness, nor one tear shed. I am in heaven and believe me when I say it is all worth it. I knew not the true measure of God's love until I reached his throne in heaven. It is a joy and love beyond words.

Don't lose heart, especially during suffering for you shall have your reward. Your loved ones are so happy here, that you would not want them to leave this paradise. Imagine your greatest joy on earth and here in heaven it shall be magnified beyond your fondest dreams. Love with all your heart now and in heaven you shall have everything come together in a most perfect, profound way.

I shall be watching over all of you and guiding you closer to God. Bless you and I shall see you in paradise.

My Love

I find the lost. I heal the sick.I change the sinner in to a saint. I cause the wind to cease.

I am the creator of miracles.

I give hope to those who are tiered of life. I give dreams to those who feel no dreams are left. I might cause change as quick as the blinking of an eye. I do all out of love.

I am the peace in turmoil.

I am the presence in the quiet of prayer. I am hidden only to be found .

I shall reward and chastise at the right time. I do not forget one thing you suffer, nor one act of kindness. I give forgiveness to those who are remorseful.

I am your shield in battle.

I am mercy to the broken hearted.

I lift up the humble and bring low the proud. I am the strength if only you comprehend this and not boast of something you have no control of. Give me thanks and many blessings I shall bestow. I provide the right time for you to help others. I send a friendly dog to you when you are sad.

I send kindness your way, when you feel unwanted. I provide you company when you are lonely. I appreciate your progress, while others are only self- aware. I send you love when you are at your wits end.

I am always there when others cannot be there. I answer your prayers and bless those you pray for. I care and suffer with you through your day. I understand your confusion and your concerns. I love to see you happy and no greater joy is when you reach out to me for all your needs.

I only wait for you and when you come I love you so tenderly. I love you even when you are not with me. I understand that you only have so much energy. I am gentle while others are harsh.

I give you understanding and wisdom. I help you see things through my eyes. I am your best friend and your life.

I give you mercy, so you may return it.

I give you love, so you may do great things for me. Not one thing do I not know and yet I always encourage you to keep trying.

Don't give up for I will lift you up .I will provide all your needs.

Some day you will receive the crown of life. You are limited here, but when you are home not one thing shall limit you ever again. You shall be free to love everyone the way I love all of you. I love you and many good times are just around the comer. Do not give up the gospel to lies. I shall reward those who live my truths. Be at peace and I will continue to guide you on the path I have set before you .
,..

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Be Silent feel my power and strength.

I give power to those who know I am real. I will empower you to make the changes in your life. Make me real totally and if you have doubt pray I remove them.

I am the love to draw you deeper in to my peace. I have no beauty that matches me and I give freely. I do not give for certain conditions, but because it frees you. I am the wind that blows gently and freely.

I am the night that blesses the stars and moon. I give the light to guide you and bring you joy. I teach you the ways of love and it hurts for me not to give. I shine on your soul and it responds as the water, first shallow and then deep beyond sight.

I am there in the stillness and you breathe me in like a fragrant flower. I am the true hypnotist and you grow deeper and deeper in my love. I have not sin nor stain and my perfect love washes all your stains away and perfects you.

My light brings healing, peace and power. I will give you the desire if you only ask to bring you so close to me that no evil has reign here. I bring sorrow to teach you how important my love is and that nothing last but me. I breathe life in to you so you have eternal life. My eternal light is a power of love. L want to possess you totally and bring you to the complete awareness of my love.

I want to bring you more fervor then when you first drew close to me. I want you on fire for my love and dipped in the blood of the lamb. My blood has become your life and you shall drink of it to be perfected in my image. I give glory to my creatures who started out as dust, but once there was no creature . I made life and I do not destroy that which I make.

Do not destroy me with your indifference. I would rather have you cold. I give you the fire of the Holy Spirit to mould you and draw you near. I have all knowledge and wisdom which I want to share with you at the level you are capable of understanding . No matter, the troubles of the world I am in control. Do not worry, but draw close to me.

Being with me can change things and make things new. I give you the power with your prayers to bring food to the hungry, compassion to the lonely and salvation to the lost. You have the power in your room away from the noise to change this world. If everyone did their part there would be no one hungry or poor. There would be no blood shed and then my love would reign the way I wanted it to when I created the universe.

If you want to be complete and everything in your life to add to your wholeness come to me. See me in everyone and everything. Remember how you love others is also how

you love me. I am the creator of all and I am in all. Take the time for others and this will mean being a friend to me. Fools do not rush in, but most of you move so slow that I could create the world faster. Where is the intimacy for each other that I taught you

and gave you freely? You must take risks in order to make a difference in lives.

If you barely spend time with anyone, you will not influence them the way you could. Where is the trust in me to guide you to your brothers and sisters so you may love them?

I went to a place of stillness. I went to a place of quiet.

My mind was emptied.

I was in a place of darkness.

Be still and know I am God. Be not afraid of the enemy.

I am with you.

I will draw you close.

I was afraid, but I traveled deep in his love.

It was a place of peace and darkness, but the light was there, like a burning candle.

He was my anchor in a world of insecurity. He would teach me to not fear. He would love me without reproach.

He was a gentle spirit, in a chaotic world that surrounded me.

There would be not outward signs

of his love for me, but a yearning that would grow deeper, as my eyes were closed in a world of light.

He would guide me while I left the world behind in his silence. There is no friend who can reach my inner depths the way he can. He knew me and was a part of me in a most profound way .

Silence is trust.

Words need not be spoken.

I was not trying to add up words, nor mark the time.

I was with him, because I wanted to be. It was not duty nor was it fear.

It was where I belonged my whole life.

He will guide me slowly into this abyss of love, for he wants me to see my seed grow. He wants me to know it is him who makes this all possible.

He has taken me far, but still he wants me in a place of repose, sleep and safety.

I have time to be with him .He has marked this time out from my very beginnings.

I will travel the way he wants me to go and though it may be slowly, it is sure as the wind blowing. Nothing will deter him from bringing me forth in this sea of hope. It is eternal and I am walking my path towards my heavenly goal.

He only wants me to be a willing vessel. I feel my arms are his.

I feel him using my temple as a light to the world. My mind and heart being molded into his. My soul is the salt he uses to awaken all my senses.

I close my mind and he opens it to his love.

He is my final chapter. He is where I am going.
My feet may stumble, but

he will keep me on my chosen path.

It is not for me to say how he is to use me, but just that he does.

I will write more as the journey unfolds and as his love inspires me to do so. By Janet Gillooly

"It is better to desire to lead a good life, rather than a long one."

Angels

Angels are our guides to salvation. They put holy thoughts in our minds. They stop our feet from slipping.

They bring God's message of love to mankind.

They love us like their own. They take no reward.

They do it for love of God

And for love of us.

They do not force their hand but their message is strong. They want us to love the Lord and to love each other.

What we drive does not matter to them. What we wear is of no consequence.

What job we do is not their priority only that we treat others as if they were angels or the Lord himself.

We are not here to gather riches which only turn to dust, but we are here to love and this should be our priority. Our treasure is in heaven and our soul is the only thing the angels care about.

Looks only fade. Lusts become a burden.

Our bodies become a prison and we must provide our needs. The only freedom is God, who loved us first, which allowed us to love. The angels no better than us how short time is.

They travel the seas looking for souls to be saved and to help the saved grow.

In the end their trumpets will blow, one of salvation and one of warning to those who remain blinded in their shallow shell.

Let us not forget our angels, for they guard us day and night.

They watch over us and guide us to eternal life.

Oh, angel of God please help us to be holy and bright.

Teach us the ways of love

so that the Lord may say to each of us, come your work is done

and hold us tight

Love

He does not force himself upon me. He only wants love freely.

He wants to free me of all my cares

and woes. He wants to give me his lasting treasure.

He remains hidden from me to see if I will take the time to seek him out.

He wants to be appreciated for giving me life. He wants to care for me forever.

I do not always please him but I never give up trying. I would rather be with him, then to be alone, which is nowhere at all. He wants me to love him for who he is not what he can give me, although he has to give for it is his nature.

He never turns his back and he always puts me on my chosen path. I love to discover him and he uncovers me, so I may keep my soul.

I never run out of words to describe him, but I do not really have the words I need. I love you Lord and may I love you more deeply with each new day. Amen

Silence

Silence is the time to empty your mind.

It is the time to feel the peace of God. It is the time for a transforming union. You enter another world.

It is this prayer that sustains you. You leave everything to God.

You become nothing and God is everything. You know surely that God will change you.

You cannot wait to be alone with God. He gives you rest like nobody else can.

You need this to sustain you through your days. You feel you will go mad if you do not

have this time.

Silent prayer reaches beyond words.

It is his spirit that unites you to himself. He touches you deeply, beyond the norm. He is all love, understanding and mercy.

He is the one constant comfort. He will not go away.

He is always there to teach you.

He reveals his will while you pray.

He unfolds himself to you in this time of silence and throughout the day.

He moves slowly on a soul letting

them move at their own pace and then suddenly as thunder, he takes the reins and the soul has changed quickly and profoundly .

This soul has been attacked in the fires of intensity. The flames were at first warm, and then hot was the touch of God to the soul. The soul did not see it coming and did not know how quickly it would get there.

The soul knows God's power is real. He will not deny a burning desire.

The soul is united to God. God will not deny his own.

Loneliness is the greatest cross I bore. It is the most deep wrenching pain possible. My death was the cruelest, but the loneliness of my death was the greatest.

I was lonely in the desert with many temptations . One of those temptations was to be with a special woman to love. It is terrible to feel so unwanted.

In the garden I wept bitterly. I was bleeding on the outside, but nothing like the inside. My heart was bleeding bitterly. My apostles when I needed them the most were off sleeping. I understood their weariness, but mine was so much the more terrifying, knowing I was to die a horrible death.

My death was total rejection by all the people I ministered to and I bore my heart to each one of them. I only had a few that stood by me, but most were shouting loud obscenities. It was the total rejection at my death that hurt the most. No one knows the ways of man better than I, but it did not stop my heart from wrenching in pain.

Those servants who have shared this cross with me will be truly blest. I have no greater love for a cross such as this one. It is beyond explaining to those who have never known such a deep seated pain. How can you find words for such a price.

People keep so busy that they never take the time to reflect and be with me. Busy is the in thing, but it does not lead anywhere. If your life is too busy for contemplation, then something is wrong. Yes, so wrong that most do not even think it is wrong. I am your maker and I should come first.

There is so much I offer, but most will never know. I feel my cross of loneliness never ends, for still so many reject me. So many do not have time for me, nor do they visit my body in church. I payed the ultimate price by dying, but still I am so unappreciated. This life is not more important then I am.

I will not be indifferent to so much ingratitude. How can I forget being ignored by my own children? How can I forget being put to death for a people who never seem to grasp my love for them. Hobbies are more important to you and other people, who may not be there for you tomorrow.

I am always here. I never give up on a soul loving me and reaching for me like the grandest prize. I am the most precious pearl. Why do you trample on me and never think twice about it? Still I wait for that soul and I am so willing to forgive and give my whole heart to that soul,that comes to visit my body in church or just wants to be with me anywhere, as much as possible.

I know who is good. Don't think you know any heart like I do. What the world thinks is good, I do not. Do not make me weep over and over for all who will not come to me

for what they truly need. They need my love, for nothing else will give them peace. I have spoken and will continue to speak until all hear me. I love all of you.

Love,

Jesus The only truth and real love!

