5 Leg Sitting Positions And The Message They
Send
[0:00:00]
Pop quiz.
How do you place your legs when you take a
seat?
Never thought about it?
Most people don’t and that can be an issue
because the way you place your legs, the way
you positioned them can have an effect on
how people perceive you, how you actually
think and if you’re not controlling the
message in a negotiation, in a big meeting,
in an interview, that can be an issue.
In today’s video, I’m going to talk about
the five most common seated leg positions,
the message they send, and how you can control
that message.
[Music]
Now, as I mentioned there were five general
ways that we position our legs whenever we’re
seated.
I’m going to take these five ways I’m
going to break them into two categories.
Category one is where our legs are straight
in front of us.
Category two is where we’ve got crossing
of our legs in three variations.
So, first off let’s start with category
one.
The first seated leg position I want to talk
about is the knees together position.
This is where your legs are out straight in
front of you, you knees are about 2 to 10
inches apart.
Now, what’s interesting about this one is
for most men, this is a learned sitting position,
not a natural one because as men we’ve got
something in between our legs, we are built
in a way that this is not natural, we need
a bit more room.
But, let’s say you grew up in a city, you
travel a lot on an airplane, you don’t like
to touch people, you are constantly trying
to minimize your space.
When you do that, you build up a habit of
sitting in this position.
Now, what does this signal to other people?
When you try to minimize your space you come
off as weaker.
Also, it can make you look more close and
it does for some people have that effect of
just simply closing them off.
I find for most men this is not a good seated
position simply it’s uncomfortable, it doesn’t
feel great, I feel like I’m crushing myself,
so I know I try to avoid this.
Now, the next seated leg position I’m going
to talk about is the spread-knee position
and this is where your legs, again, are in
front of you, your knees are apart by 10 to
24 inches this time.
Now, this is a natural sitting position for
most men and I love this sitting position
because I think it’s right for most men
in most situations.
Why?
Because of the message that you send others
and that you send and you reinforce with yourself
which is one of strength, power, dominance,
and status.
In addition, the message you’re sending
yourself is I am relax I am open to the conversation
with others.
Now, don’t take this to an extreme.
Don’t take up three seats on a subway whenever
there’s pregnant woman and older guy over
who need a seat.
Simply look around, show other people respect,
but I do think in general that men should
not be forced to close in on themselves because
it also closes up their mind.
But when you can sit in a position that you’re
comfortable and you take up your natural amount
of space, that’s I think the optimum sitting
position for most men.
All right.
So, we’re through with keeping your leg
straight.
Now, let’s talk about crossing your legs.
In general guys, the one thing I want you
to remember when you cross your legs is that
you do send the signal of closing yourself
off.
So, in the support article which I’m going
to link to down in the description, I’m
going to talk about a study in which they
looked at 2,000 negotiations and what they
saw on the study was that none of the people
that reached an amicable solution of these
2,000 had their legs crossed.
Now, I don’t know if that actually caused
it or what, you know, how that was all related,
but I did find that very interesting.
So, I invite you to go check out that support
article.
So, the third leg position I’m going to
be talking about in the first crossed-leg
position is the leg over leg position.
Some people call this the European leg over
leg position.
Supposedly it is more common over in Europe.
It is again a learned behavior.
One of the issues with the leg over leg, me
personally, I think it’s incredibly uncomfortable.
Another issue with this is the message it
sends.
This shows basically that you are protecting
yourself, that you are going to – and it
forces you also to usually pull yourself back
like this, it shows that you’re listening,
but you are – you’re making a judgment
you are – you’re aback, you a removed
from the situation.
Understand of all the leg positions, this
one right here shows that you’re the most
closed off.
The fourth seated leg position I want to talk
about is the figure 4 leg lock position.
Yes, I know that sounds like a cool wrestling
move.
Very common in North America, so it also is
called the American leg lock position and
there are two variations.
There’s the variations when you just had
the ankle up on your knee and also the clasp
variation.
Whenever you reach up and you’ve got your
hands up on your ankle in front of you as
well.
And it shows basically for many people this
is going to be the most open of all the crossed-leg
positions basically because you’re showing
and you’re exposing yourself saying, hey,
I’m open I’m here, very relaxed.
This one also sends a strong signal of status
of dominance of power.
The issue I have with this cross legged position
is some people view it as basically you are
aloof, that you are listening just because
you have to be there.
Also, in some cultures showing the bottom
of your foot is a no-no, so be aware of that
as well.
[0:05:12]
The fifth seated leg position I’m going
to talk about today is the ankle lock position.
And this is basically where one of your ankles
is over the other.
For some people this is very comfortable,
for most people this is unconscious that they
get into this position.
So, the interesting thing about the ankle
lock position is it unconsciously reveal sometimes
what a person is thinking.
Now, you need to know what that person’s
baseline body language and behavior is, but
for many people it can be a sign of nervousness,
something that they’re scared that they’re
closed off for some reason.
You can be talking with somebody and you can
pick up that, okay, they’re bouncing their
foot, they’ve got their ankles crossed,
maybe they’re in a sense protecting themselves
or they’re thinking about something their
mind isn’t there.
So, this one is very interesting and going
back to that negotiation study I talked about,
this has been shown actually if it’s not
part of your baseline that you are closing
yourself off that it does have an effect on
your mindset, you’re not going to be as
open to what other people are saying.
All right, gentlemen now it’s your turn.
I want to hear from you down in the comments
what you think of this video?
How could I make this better?
What do you think of me bringing body language
videos here to the channel at Real Men Real
Style?
Oh, and by the way, if you have a particular
type of seated leg position and you’re curious
is it common, what do most people do, this
is my default.
Well, go over to the support article at Real
Men Real Style, I’m going to put it down
in the description.
I’m going to have it set so you can vote
and then you’ll be able to see the results
of that poll and you’ll be able to say,
hey, actually 30% of us do it this way, 40%
of us sit this way, or I’m part of the 10%
which actually positions my legs in this manner.
Now, again, gents, I’m not going to say
there’s a right or wrong way, but what I
do think is wrong is when you’re not controlling
the message, when you’re sabotaging yourself,
when you’re shooting yourself in the foot
and maybe you’re coming off as closed, as
not listening, but you are listening.
So, make sure that your body language, the
way that you dress, all of these sends the
message that you want to send.
Gentlemen, that’s it.
Take care.
I’ll see you in the next video.
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