Censor Certificate
Censor Certificate [Censored]
Manushya ke spanj samaan...
Disclaimer
 
 
Aman Deep on stage guys!
ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?
a lot can happen in 5 minutes...
Product Placement
Obituary
LAUGHS
Hi!
People tell me I look very sad for a comedian
And I need to smile more
So,
Freeze Frame
BIG TITLE ROLL
*Something's missing
Do you watch movies?
I don't
Nahin, I've stopped watching movies kyunki
Kaafi galat expectations ban jaati
hain us se
Meri life mein twist aata hi nahin hai
Main wait karta reh ta hoon ki ab hoga kuch..
Hota hi nahin hai
Also, they don't show you the truth, you know
They manipulate you
Like there's this film called Deewar
The whole family is poor in that film
Not because of society
But because everyone is lazy
Usme ek character hai log usse paise dete rehte hain
Par vo utthata hi nahin hai
He's like 'main phenke hue paise nahin utthaoonga'
His brother is standing outside a school
Jabki gate khula hai
To chale ja na andar!
Uski maan usse dekh kar rone lagti hai to
vo poochta hai
"Maa! Why are you crying?"
She's like, "Roun nahin to kya karoon?"
Seriously!
That's your only option?
Your son gives the whole country four options
'Har sawaal ke baad'
She's like "Roun nahin to kya karoon?"
I know what you should do,
"Aap itte utthao dhang se!"
Sab log itte uttha rahe hain kyunki unka kaam hai
Aur vo gir rahi hai,
Faint ho rahi hai
And she's the healthiest one there
Ek bacha bada ho jata hai but vo kabhi mandir nahin gaya
Because stairs
"Vo kaun chadhega?"
Ek baar chadta hai to seedha bhagwaan ko sunane lagta hai
"Aaj khush to bahut hoge tum?"
"That I climbed these stairs"
God must be like, "Poori family ke nakhre hain!"
"Bache se paise nahin utth rahe, maa se itte nahin utth rahi hain!"
"Aur ye stairs chadh ke suna raha hai"
People are proud of strange things you know,
They are like,
"What is Game of Thrones?"
"We wrote Ramayana."
"Humne Mahabharat likhi hai"
But if you ask them ki "abhi kya likh rahe ho?"
"Dhoom 4"
There's a Film and Television Institute in India
2004 tak vahaan script writing course hi nahin tha
They're like, "Script? Hamari filmon mein"
That's why the most successful student form there is
David Dhawan
And he's a genius
Log Hollywood se churate hain
Vo hindi filmon se chura leta hai
He has copid his own film three times
Audience ko pata hi nahin hai
He has made films like
Coolie No. 1
Biwi No.1
Shaadi No. 1
Jodi No.1
Hero No.1
Colors No.1
Farts No. 1
Colorful Farts No.1
Rainbow Puke No.1
Urine No.1
Also known as 'No.1 No.1'
Or 'Ek Aur Ek Gyarah'
But his biggest film was called 'Toilet No.1'
Log gaye the uske pass, "Sir, Toilet is No.2"
But he was like, "Nahin. No.1"
Reel change
I was watching this film called 'Fast and The Furious"
18th...
19th...
I thought they copied a scene from 'Race 2'
Hollywood kyun chura raha hai yaar?
But to be fair
They made it little better
They added more cars,
Special effects,
Some sense
But when we copy films, we always make them
worse
I don't know why?
Jurassic Park dekhte time kaun sochta hai ki
"Dinosaurs to ache hain"
"lekin item song hota to mazza hi aa jata"
Ya phir "Interstellar mein Black Hole acha
tha"
"Lekin gana nahin hua, location waste ho gayi"
I have never seen a sex scene and thought
"Humans to theek hain.."
"Lekin phool takrayenge to scene hot hoga"
Whenever people watch Hindi films at home
They always skip the song
Kyunki kaafi stupid lagta hain na
Chaar log baith ke hindi film ka gana dekh
rahe hain
It raises many questions
*COUGH*
Jaise Asaam se Delhi aate time
Ladakh kyun aa raha hai beech mein?
Love song
I don't know if you have noticed but India
has a populaton problem
I think we can conquer the world by just going on
'An Evening Walk with China'
America kya hi kar lega?
"Oh, Asians are coming!"
"Kitne?"
"Four Billion"
"What are they doing?"
"Yoga AND Tai Chi"
"They are breathing in and breathing out"
I think the problem is
People are having 'kids' for 'Entertainment'
They are like, "Beta, poem sunao!"
Having a kid in India is like entering a 'Big
Boss' house
Where father is the 'Big Boss'
And mother is the 'voice' of 'Big Boss'
"Big Boss chahte hain aap homework karien"
"Big Boss chahte hain aap akhbaar uttha ke layien"
"Papa tumhe confession room mein bula rahe hain"
Picture abhi baaki hai
Contact info for shows, hugs, and other updates
Joke to achha tha
End Reel
Vortex of Space and Time
"This was supposed to be my first..."
"But I just fucked that..."
Planet Earth
