Like, therapy has really worked for me.
Like, just sitting down every
week and venting to somebody,
which is crazy ’cause I feel like
I’m always venting on the radio,
– Right. 
– or on my podcast or something,
But, actually sitting down with somebody
who you know is a captive audience,
like, they have to listen to you…
But you have a lot of people,
like, I don’t get that.
No, they can turn the radio off,
But once I pay you $150, you
there for me for that hour.
This is from Sneha. Is Sneha here?
“Who do you think is more fashionable –
you or your wife?”
That’s a good question. Ummm, I would say
my wife. She’s been killin’ it right now.
Beena’s been killin’ it.
She’s been killin’ it.
Everyone’s like, “Damn.
You’re her accessory.”
And I’m like, “Alright. I’ll take it.”
“Who would you rather have
a drink with and why?
Bolsonaro, Modi, or Trump?”
This is from Vikashini. Vikashini?
(Yeah. It’s actually Ashley, yeah.)
It’s actually Ashley?
(Yeah.)
– (Yeah, I’m Vikashini. Ashley–)
– (I went with her..)
(Yeah.)
So, how– why was it Vikashini?
– (‘Cause I–)
– (’Cause she got the tickets, she thought–)
(Yeah.)
Oh, you, like, made up one of those names
where you were like, “vikashini@yahoo.com?”
(I’m the brown girl sitting
next to her. I am Vikashini.)
Oh, you’re Vikashini! Okay.
(I’m Ashley, but I’m the one that
thought of the question.)
So, who would you– who would
you have a drink with?
(Who would you have a drink with?)
I don’t drink!
(Awwwww.)
No, but we can still do the game.
Everyone’s like, “Ah, impossible.”
Like, I walk into a bar and
I melt like, “DAHHHH!”
Like a werewolf, “SAHHH! Alcohol!”
No.
(I wanted it to be “Fuck, Marry, Kill:
Bolsonaro, Trump, or Modi?”)
I mean, who would you
wanna have a drink with?
(But I really wanted it to
be the other question.)
Oh, FMK?
(Yeah, yeah, yeah.)
Oof. That’s really hard.
I would love to be a fly on
the wall as they all three…
Do you know what I mean,
like, I moderate?
It’s just like, “Tonight, on the Authoritarian
Roundtable, we have Bolsonaro…”
“What is your biggest pet peeve?”
This is from Khushbu.
Biggest pet peeve? What’s
your biggest pet peeve?
(Being late.)
Being late?
(Yeah.)
I’m super late. I’m so late.
I’m late all the–
– I’m really bad.
– (That’s so desi.)
No, I gotta get better.
But it’s not acceptable.
Right? It’s so bad. It’s, like, so bad, it’s not
excusable. How do I beat– how do I not be late?
– (Stop running on brown time.)
– (Yeah.)
No, but that thing of, like, “running on
brown time” is just being inconsiderate.
I need to be, like...you know what it is?
This is what I’m always doing.
I’m always like, I– okay, I know I need to leave,
but I don’t account for travel time.
And then I’m also like, “You know what?
I can do this thing, too, before I leave.”
(That’s why.)
Like–
(You need to stop doing that.)
I need to stop doing that.
(It’s in your blood, so you can’t.)
It’s in my– Are you always late?
(I’m always late.)
Are you always late?
(No.)
On time? So what’s the– So how do I do it?
(Early, actually.)
You’re early? Dude, that’s, like, crazy.
That’s like– you being like,
“I’m early” is the–
Remember when you went to school
with someone who was like,
“My parents don’t have a TV in the house.”
That’s the…
Who’s early? You’re always early?
(Yeah. It’s kinda crazy.)
Damn. Just since you were
a kid though, right?
(Yeah.)
Yeah, so you can’t break it.
It’s just the way I am.
That’s my excuse for not
growing as a person.
“What’s the most heated
interview you’ve ever done?”
You know, I’ve done quite
a few heated interviews,
but I’ve never done the type of
interviews that our guest has done.
Guys, give it up for Charlamagne tha God.
What’s up, bro?
How are you, man?
You Good?
Good to see you, man.
Welcome, welcome.
What’s happening?
– What’s happening? Charlamagne tha God!
– Peace! Peace! Peace! Peace! Peace!
Look at that, man!
Oh wow, that guy.
Look, I apologize in advance.
Usually, you operate in
a seated environment.
This is like– This is our octagon
of questions, so-to-speak.
Nah, I like this, I like this. Because the
seating thing is– Everybody does that.
– You know, man?
– Yeah.
It’s good to, you know,
get your blood flowing.
This to me is cool. I like to–
We’ve been starting to have just
friends, people that I admire,
people that I think are really cool come.
They get to ask you questions,
I ask questions.
– Okay.
– It’s just like–
Yeah, it’s a town hall.
Alright, let’s do it!
Alright, so–
I like town halls. I like talking directly to
the people. You know what I’m saying?
Okay.
What is–
What is the most heated–
Now, I’m familiar with a lot of
the interviews you’ve done.
What is the most heated
interview that you’ve done
that you felt in your career
was like, “Okay. I felt tense.”
Not what other people have
given you credit for,
which is mainly what I call
the “Kanye Yeezus.”
Yeah.
That was– that was the one.
I mean, the most obvious answer
would be the Birdman interview,
when he came in there with, like,
six or seven guys,
and then all the goons, you know,
filed out in a single file line.
Like walked out in a single file line.
But actually, the most intense
one where I was like,
“Alright, this dude might
knock my head off,”
it was nelly.
Really?
Yeah. Because you gotta think: Nelly is
an athletic brother, he’s in shape,
and he was very calm.
And he just looked at me
and he said to me,
“You know, I keep retainers
for guys like you, cuz.”
I understand that talk. Alright?
But what question prompted that?
Uh, it was– it was him being cold. I used
to do this thing called The Freezer,
and I was like, “You know, you’re ice cold
right now as a recording artist,” you know,
It wasn’t so...
Oh, this is, like–
You have Donkey of the Day,
and then you also have–
Yeah, but he was actually on
the show during the interview,
and I told him he was cold,
in his face, like, you know.
It wasn’t too “hot in here”
for his career at that point.
Uh huh.
At that point.
Right.
And I mean that with
the best intentions, Nelly!
I still don’t want no problems
with you, okay? Alright?
Did you end up apologizing?
No, I didn’t apologize,
I just shut the hell up.
You gotta know when to
shut the fuck up. That’s all.
You don’t ever get scared?
Like I get scared after the Saudi
Arabia thing. Like, I’m not tryna…
Scared?
Yeah! Like just off of–
I mean, I’ve got anxiety so I’m always in
a constant state of fear so, I mean...
I don’t know, I can’t really–
I guess it’s levels of fear.
When you got anxiety everything seems
pretty, like, you’re about to die.
But what volume are you at constantly?
Of anxiety. If it’s a zero to ten.
– Where are you at?
– Ugh, man.
I mean, a ten if I don’t talk to myself.
You know what I’m saying?
If I don’t – if I don’t wake up in the morning
and read my daily affirmations, and meditate,
and pray, and if I don’t go to therapy
once a week, and take my CBD–
I’m always constantly–
I’m always constantly at a ten.
But I mean come on, think
about the world we live in.
You turn on the news,
everything is fearmongering.
No, no, no. But the crazy thing is
that you wrote a book about this,
and you’ve been very public about it. And
I’m gonna be honest. I’m gonna be 100% real.
There’s black people here,
there’s South Asian people here,
you know in our community–
my dad told me two things. He’s like,
“That shit’s not real, you need to pray more.
And you need to go to sleep.
And things will be better.”
That’s honestly his thing. If you’ve
ever been like, “Oh, I’m depressed.”
He’s like, “Just go to sleep and pray.”
Because, that’s a survival tactic
for us in a lot of ways.
Because, we’re always
constantly under the gun.
So, the only thing we really should be
fearing, technically, is the white man, right?
But–
No, seriously!
This is like - hey, no, I’m with it. Like,
let’s go Farrakhan, right now.
As an oppressed, marginalized person–
As an oppressed, marginalized person–
we got real stuff, like that, to deal with.
So, everything else– Your parents
don’t wanna hear about that.
They’re like, “Man, you better toughen up
because this world is gonna kick your ass.”
Right.
“So, don’t worry about that fake imaginary
guy under your bed. He’s not real.”
So, but then, when did you go
like, “I need to do this.”
Like, weren’t you afraid of getting, like–
not afraid of being made fun of–
but, like, just kinda, like,
publicly talking about it.
’Cause I meditate and I do the whole thing,
but I try not to talk about it to certain people.
I would think it’s the same with you becauseyou’re a comedian and I’m a radio personality.
So, it’s hard to get onstage and
talk about anything but yourself.
So, it’s very hard for me to get on the
radio and talk about everything else
that’s going on in the world when
I’m dealing with my own issues.
So, the easiest thing to do everyday when
you wake up in the morning is be yourself.
So, for me it was just me getting on
the radio and sharing my experiences.
And it makes you feel stronger because
you realize you’re not the only one.
You have a tribe of people that
have the same type of anxiety.
That deal with the same type of PTSD.
The same type of traumas.
The same type of depression sometimes.
And for some strange reason,
it makes you feel stronger knowing that you’ve
got a village of scared people behind you.
Do you think we– Like, in our
generation we’ll talk about it more?
(Yeah.)
For real.
(Absolutely.)
We’ve got no choice.
Can you talk about it with your parents?
(Yeah.)
You can be like, “Umi, I’m depressed.”
(Yeah.)
And she’ll take it seriously?
– (Yeah).
– (No.)
There, you– Thank you!
What will she say? She’ll be like dua karo,
pray to God, yeah. Theek hai, you’re alright.”
(Yeah, she’ll tell me to pray.)
Yeah?
(And Just like, get closer to God.)
By the way, prayer works.
But so does therapy.
(It does work.)
Yeah. Yeah. It’s true.
How many years have you been
publicly talking about this?
Um, maybe, like, two? Maybe, like, two.
And um, for me – Like, I realized
over Thanksgiving,
my father shared with me
after he read my book–
and I had a cousin that committed
suicide – he shared with me,
that, you know, thirty-plus years ago
he tried to commit suicide,
but he didn’t because of me
and my older sister.
And he told me that he was going to
therapy two and three times a week,
and that he had been on ten to twelve different
medications throughout his life,
and he gets, actually, a check
for his mental health
every month, for like,
the past twenty years.
So, for me – I’m looking at him like, “Why
the hell are you just telling me this now?”
Right.
You know what I’m saying, if you had told me
this years ago then instead of packing–
unpacking fortysomething years of baggage,
I would have been unpacking, like, twenty!
Yeah.
You know? So, it’s like–
I don’t think we do ourselves any favors
by keeping secrets from each other.
Didn’t you ever feel, like, at some
point, like, if I take something–
Well, I’m not– I’m not– I don’t do medication.
Unless you call CBD medication.
You know what I’m saying?
Like, therapy has really worked for me.
like just sitting down every week
and venting to somebody,
which is crazy ’cause I feel like
I’m always venting on the radio,
or on my podcast or something.
But, actually sitting down
with somebody who–
you know is a captive audience,
like, they have to listen to you…
But you have a lot of people,
like, I don’t get that.
No, they can turn the radio off.
But once I pay you $150,
you there for me for that hour.
You know what I’m saying?
It’s a different feeling.
Right, right, right.
Where did– What’s the– Like,
did you go in with a goal?
Yeah. For me, I was looking for,
like, this sense of peace
that you tend to get when
you’re, like, on vacation.
You know what I’m saying?
When you’re on vacation.
For me, when I’m on vacation
and I got my wife with me
and I got all my daughters
and, like, my mom’s there…
Like, everybody I love and care for
that I constantly worry about when I–
When we’re all in one place – it’s just, like,
this calmness, this peace, this serenity.
And I’m like, “How do
I capture this all the time
without having to spend all this
money on vacations constantly?”
You know what I mean? ’Cause I only get,
like, six vacation weeks a year, so I–
And what about the other,
you know, how ever many weeks?
So, for me – my wife was just finally like,
“Yo, go- just go to therapy. Go,
sit down, and talk to somebody.”
So, I stopped flirting with
the idea and just went.
And it was the best decision I ever made
in my life, you know what I mean?
– Because I have learned–
– That’s beautiful.
I have learned how to bring myself
back to center, you know?
And I realized I’ve been doing that my whole
life – when you get those panic attacks.
You know, those crazy feelings when you feel
like you’re about to have a heart attack
and your heart is beating fast and
you’ve got shortness of breath.
I used to always do these affirmations
in my head when I was younger.
I used to always say,
“Fuck Satan,” three times.
– And I used to say, uh–
– That was your “Candyman?”
That was my thing. I’d do like, “Fuck Satan.
Fuck Satan. Fuck Satan.”
Like, “I love…”
’Cause I– I grew up Jehovah’s Witness–
So, I would say, “I love Jehovah God
and his son Jesus Christ.
I love Jehovah God and
his son Jesus Christ.”
And that would always
bring me back to center.
So, now I’ve gotten other things
that bring me back to center,
which is usually just, “Sit your
dumbass down. It’s not that serious.”
“Take a few deep breathsand you’ll be okay.”
That’s great, man.
That’s beautiful, man.
What made you–
You recently asked that question that, you
know, a lot of people have been trying to ask,
Elizabeth Warren – you just went for it.
What made you go, “Alright, let’s
just take this on. Head on.”
All the Native American stuff.
Honestly, I’m just too dumb to know that
that was, like, a controversial question.
Oh, that was a hu– That was a huge–
I’m not a political pundit.
I’m not a, like, political journalist.
I just thought it was weird
that she put ‘Native American’
on her applications
when she was young.
Like, that– I didn’t think that
was gonna be such a big deal.
I’m just like– I just wanted to know when
she found out she was Native American.
Did it just ruin the whole lineage
of her family? Did her whole family
find out right then and there that,
“we’re not Native American either?”
Uh huh. I hadn’t– I…
I– I don’t know.
So, what was–
Do you believe–
Did you believe the
answer she gave you?
No.
What do you mean?
You thought that she did–
You know, because she did say–
She was like, “This is what I was told.”
So, how do you want to adjudicate this?
Like, if I was told this twenty, thirty years ago
before the woke math was done on this, like…
Listen, I was told I was like Teen Wolf in third
grade and I believed it for a little while.
But that doesn’t mean I was
actually Teen Wolf. Like, I didn’t–
After third grade I stopped
howling in the cafeteria.
You know what I mean?
What do you feel about… So, people come
on The Breakfast Club all the time.
Your guys’ show, I would say
for the next eighteen months
is going to be this critical destination–
for the Democratic candidates.
That’s where they go to check
in to the “urban community.”
Yeah, yeah.
How do you feel about that pandering?
Um, I don’t know if it’s necessarily–
– Do you believe it’s pandering?
– “pandering.”
I don’t think it’s pandering,
I just think it’s go–
Hillary going, “I got hot sauce in my bag?”
On The Breakfast Club.
I told–
In the moment, I told her,
“you know…”
Imagine Hillary coming on
this show and then she goes,
“You know what I have? Karahi chicken,”
and then she takes out
paratha and starts eating it.
Yeah. I get–
To me, I’d be like, “Hill, I know you hang out with
Huma, but, like, you’re not that South Asian.”
I mean, listen – in the moment
I said that to her.
I said, “This is one of those times they’re going
to say you’re pandering to black people.”
But, there’s an old–
I think it’s a 20/20 or 60 Minutes
interview where she actually said she had–
– she keeps Tabasco on her all the time.
– Oh, so it’s consistent?
Yeah. So, that’s why I wasn’t really trippin’
off it. You know what I’m saying?
But I don’t think it’s pandering
only because–
Hey, if I was trying to get a bunch
of black people to vote for me,
I would go where I think
black people are at.
– Like, that’s just common sense.
– That’s true. That’s true.
When you like chicken,
you go to Chick-fil-A.
What’d you think about the–
Kamala sayin’, “I didn’t…”
You know, she was like, “I inhaled.”
Oh, that was a–
that was a nice little pun.
As a standup comedian,
– you gotta appreciate that.
– Yeah, yeah the little callback.
That’s a little callback to Bill Clinton
saying he didn’t, you know, inhale.
Who the hell smokes weed
and doesn’t inhale?
Now, I’m not going to lie to you.
I do smoke weed all the time and don’t inhale
only because I have friends that smoke weed
and sometimes when I just want to, like, act
like I’m high I’ll puff and just blow it out.
I don’t inhale it either.
But I don’t even fake-smoke it often!
Just every now and then.
Just when–
Yeah, when we’re on vacation
or something. You know...
I gotta do that.
Uh, what do you think is the–
I’ve fake-sniffed coke before, too.
What?
Yeah.
Wait.
I just like to make people feel comfortable
sometimes. You know what I’m saying?
Like, what got you–
In what situation–
Like, were you with Suge Knight and he was like,
“You need to do this for a record deal?”
I forgot where we was at.
It might have been L.A. somewhere
but you know, the coke be on the table
and you just, like, you do like this:
You cover your nose like this and [woosh]
but you knock it off with your hand.
That’s good.
You knock it off with your hand but you
gotta let a little, just, be here somewhere.
Yeah, yeah.
That’s all.
And then you just scream: “WOOO!”
That’s great, man.
Then everybody gets comfortable,
you know what I’m saying? That’s all.
That’s great.
Alright, how am I going
to transition to this?
What topic, uh–
What do you think is the
most important topic/policy
that 2020 candidates need to address?
Oh…
Um...
I think–
You know, it’s interesting, right?
’Cause, you know, we talk about policies
and we talk about legislation
but the truth of the matter is – I think
the whole country needs a reset
when it comes to morals and values and just
us getting back to respecting each other
and loving each other. ‘Cause we are
the United States of America.
But right now, it feels like
the divided states of America.
So, I don’t know if policy and
legislation is important
as just restoring the soul
of the country, so-to-speak.
What do you mean by that? You’re
talking about, just, empathy in general?
Yeah– Just in general. I’m talking about
the basic principles of, just, life.
Like, you know: “Do unto others as
you would have them do unto you.”
“Be a good person.”
“Treat people the way you
want to be treated.”
Like, don’t look down upon people. Like, we
gotta get back to liberty and justice for all.
Like, we gotta get back to this,
this promise of equality,
that America offered everyone.
That enabled, you know,
you to be here
– doing what you’re doing.
– Totally.
And me being on stage with you,
like, we gotta get back to that,
’cause I feel like, we’re going backwards with
a lot of, just, morality in this country.
So, yo, I can easily say, “Yeah, we need more jobs.
You know, we need to get the economy booming.
You know, we need to invest
more money into HBCUs.
We need, you know,
better healthcare for all.”
You know, I think that we need to be addressing
the black maternal death rate, you know,
’cause that was something that I saw
firsthand when my third daughter
was born last year and I’m a brother who–
I’m doing pretty good in life.
You know what I’m saying?
These shoes aren’t cheap.
– You know what I mean?
– Right.
And I got insurance, but when we went to the
hospital last year for my daughter to be born,
they didn’t even have epidurals. 
You know what I’m saying?
– Wow.
– Like, it was almost just, like, a thing of:
“Oh, she’s a black woman, she’s strong.
She can handle it. You–”
– I’m like–
– Are you serious?
Yeah. So, it’s just, like–
I feel, like, those are the issues that, you know,
a lot of those issues need to be addressed.
But, I just think that overall, we just need to
get back to, just, lovin’ on each other more.
But you’ve been–
You’ve always been–
The years that we’ve known each other–
you’re a rare dude.
You’ve always been, kind of,
above identity politics.
Mm hmm.
What I mean by that is that you’ve even
told me in conversations–
You’ve been like, “Man, I honestly… I don't
really see race. I mix with everybody.”
You’re a true, like, artist.
I see energy.
Yeah.
You know, but, I’m very aware.
But that’s not how people
move in the world.
– Yeah, yeah, yeah.
– Do you know what I mean?
The world is actually incredibly segregated
in terms of class and all that stuff, so…
I’ve had this conversation
with my dad all the time,
“How do you get people to care
about things outside of their POV?”
We have, like, an empathy tank that,
we can only take so much.
Like, we did an episode on Sudan,
like, two weeks ago.
One of the big things that we had in
the writer’s room was just like,
“How do you get people to
give a fuck about Sudan?”
I mean it’s ’cause it’s easy to–
It’s easy to turn a blind eye
to stuff like that.
Right.
I mean, think about it. We live in America where
you have grave injustices everyday
– Right, right.
– and people turn a blind eye to those,
so why are you gonna care about what’s
going on in a whole ’nother country?
Here. This is an audience question
that was submitted before:
“What would your slogan be
if you ran for president?”
What would my slogan be
if I ran for president?
Hmm.
Maybe “live your truth.”
So, nobody can use your
truth against you. Right?
And, maybe, it would be laws implemented
that when somebody is living their truth,
we can’t use it against them.
Meaning, that– Hey, if you’re gay–
be gay. You know?
If you’re transgender, transexual–
be transgender or transexual.
If you’re a proud black person–
be a proud black person.
And it would be against the law for
somebody to hate on you for that fact.
You know what I’m saying?
Alright.
One last question for Charlamagne
and then we gotta go.
Here we go, right there. Yeah.
(If you two were to play Desus and Mero
in basketball, who would win?)
If we played Desus and Mero in basketball?
Are you good at basketball? Are you decent?
No, but I think I can bust
Desus and Mero’s ass.
In basketball.
At this–
Mero would be too slow.
I’d put Mero on me. I think
I’d go around him every time.
I’m at that age, I mean, I’m 33. We’re at
that age now where, just, effort will–
Just effort and being in shape
in general puts you in the–
Absolutely.
Do you know what I mean? It just puts
you in the upper echelon.
That was a very classy way to say
Desus and Mero are out of shape.
Very classy way.
Thank you. One more time for 
Charlamagne tha God.
Thank you, guys, so much. Good night!
One more time for Charlamagne.
