CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS.
[BRAKES HISS]
Man: NO, JULY 8, 1979,
ALL THE FATHERS
OF NOBEL PRIZE WINNERS■■
WERE ROUND UP
BY UNITED NATIONS
MILITARY UNITS, ALL RIGHT?
AND ACTULY FORCED
AT GUNPOINT
TO GIVE SEMEN SAMPLES
IN LITTLE PLASTIC JARS
WHICH ARE NOW STORED
BELOW ROCKEFELLER CENTER
UNDERNEATH
THE ICE SKATING RINK.
WOULDN'T WANT TO BE THERE
FOR THE THAW! HA HA HA!
UGH!
I MEAN, IT'S DISGUSTING.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY PUT
IN THE WATER, DON'T YOU?
FLUORIDE! YEAH, FLUORIDE.
ON THE PRETEXT THAT
IT STRENGTHENS YOUR TEETH.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS STUFF
DOES TO YOU?
IT ACTUALLY
WEAKENS YOUR WILL,
TAKES AWAY THE CAPACITY FOR
FREE AND CREATIVE THOUGHT,
AND MAKES YOU
A SLAVE TO THE STATE.
DON'T YOU EVER WONDER ABOUT
ALL THESE MILITIA GROUPS
AND SURVIVALIST-TYPE KOOKS
ON THE RIGHT-WING SIDE?
THEY SAY THAT THEY'RE
DEFENDING THE COUNTRY
FROM THE U.N. TROOPS.
THESE GUYS
ARE YELLING SO LOUD,
MY THEORY IS--AND THIS
IS A CONSPIRACY, PAL--
 THAT THEY ARE U.N. TROOPS,
 AND THAT THEY'RE IN PLACE.
 THE INFRASTRUCTURE'S READY.
 IT'S A FAIT ACCOMPLI.
WHEN THE TIME COMES,
THEY'LL JUST TAKE OVER.
WE'LL ALL BE TOAST.
OSWALD. YEAH,
THAT'S WHAT I SAID. OSWALD.
HE SAID,
"I'M JUST A PATSY,"
AND THAT MEANS
HE DIDN'T DO IT, RIGHT?
ARMAND HAMMER
GOES TO THE DOCTOR,
AND THE DOCTOR SAYS,
"HEY, ARMAND, YOU'VE ONLY
GOT 3 MINUTES TO LIVE."
AND HE SAYS, "OH, MY GOD,
THAT'S TERRIBLE NEWS!
ISN'T THERE ANYTHING
YOU CAN DO FOR ME, DOC?
3 MINUTES?"
AND THE DOCTOR SAYS,
"WELL, ARMAND,
I CAN BOIL YOU AN EGG."
I GUESS NOT.
ALL RIGHT. DID YOU EVER
SEE THOSE ADVERTISEMENTS,
LIKE "GOT MILK"?
[TIRES SCREECH]
HEY, OPEN UP!
OPEN IT UP!
 WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?
 OPEN IT UP!
SON OF A BITCH!
"EAT BEEF"? I MEAN,
THAT'S KIND OF LIKE SAYING,
"SMOKE CIGARETTES"
OR "DRIVE CARS."
I MEAN,
IT'S REAL GENERIC...
THE GUY LOOKS AT ME,
AND HE SAYS TO ME,
"YOU THINK YOU'RE LIVING
IN A FREE COUNTRY?
"YOU THINK
THIS IS A DEMOCRACY?
OF COURSE, IT'S NOT."
WEB SITES, NEWSLETTERS,
SELF-PUBLISHED MANIFESTOS...
THEY THINK WE'RE KOOKS.
I MEAN, GEORGE BUSH KNEW
WHAT HE WAS SAYING WHEN
HE SAID, "NEW WORLD ORDER."
REMEMBER THOSE 3 LITTLE WORDS,
"NEW WORLD ORDER"?
WELL,
HE WAS A 33rd DEGREE MASON,
AND AS EX-DIRECTOR OF THE CIA,
HE KNEW THAT
SAYING THAT WOULD SEND
CONSPIRATOLOGISTS EVERYWHERE
SPINNING--SPINNING
THEIR WHEELS
AND THAT THEY'D DESTROY
THEIR OWN CREDIBILITY..
DON'T GET ME WRONG, SISTER,
I'M SURE YOUR HEART'S
IN THE RIGHT PLACE, OK?
BUT SOMEBODY'S
GOT TO LIFT THE SCAB,
THE FESTERING SCAB
THAT IS THE VATICAN.
A CHIP FOR IDENTIFICATION
SO THEY CAN TRACK DO
AN ANIMAL ANYWHERE HE'S AT?
YOU'LL INSERT IT
UNDER THE DOG'S SKIN,
AND IT'S KINDA LIKE
AN IDENTIFICATION THING.
I MEAN, IT'S ONLY
A SMALL LOGICAL STEP
TILL THEY START PUTTING IT
IN US AND OUR CHILDREN.
AND THEN, BEFORE WE KNOW IT,
MY GOD, THEY'LL PROBABLY
COME WITH THE PRETEXT...
OH, SURE, YEAH. IS THAT
ONE OF THOSE NEW HUNDREDS?
YOU KNOW, WHERE THEY CHANGED
THE PICTURE OF BEN FRANKLIN?
LOOK AT HIM! YEAH!
HE LOOKS LIKE THE LOVE CHILD
OF FRED MERTZ
AND ROSIE O'DONNELL.
YEAH, THAT'S HIM.
YEAH, GET RID OF HIM
AS SOON AS YOU CAN, LADY.
LOOK AT IT UP TO THE LIGHT.
SEE THE METAL STRIP IN IT?
THAT'S A TRACKING DEVICE.
IF YOU'VE GOT ANY MORE
OF THOSE AT HOME,
GET RID OF THEM.
EXCHANGE THEM
FOR GOODS OR SOMETHING
BECAUSE THEY'LL FOLLOW YOU.
THEY KNOW WHERE EVERY ONE
OF THOSE HUNDREDS IS GOING.
BLACK HELICOPTERS.
YOU HEARD ABOUT THEM,
THE BLACK HELICOPTERS?
THEY'RE--THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.
 YEAH,
 THEY'RE ON WHISPER MODE
