This weekend was jam-packed
with sports news,
which means it's time
for another edition
of I Apologize for Talking
While You Were Talking.
-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
-Hit it. Hit it.
-Yeah!
-What's up, sports freaks?
-(grunts)
-I'm Michael Kosta.
-I'm Roy Wood Jr.
-And, Kosta, what a weekend
it was for sports. -Wow.
Yankees. Dodgers.
Baseball playoffs.
Redskins got beat so bad,
they fired their coach
at 5:00 in the morning.
What games did you watch?
I actually didn't watch
any sports.
I went to see the Joker movie.
(laughs)
It's hilarious!
I mean,
clown movies are so funny.
(laughs)
I think you watched that wrong.
Anyway, let's get started
with some history being made
in the world of gymnastics.
World champion gymnast
Simone Biles
is making history again.
The Olympic phenom
wowed the crowd
during the world championships
this weekend
with two moves that have never
been done before.
And get this--
each of those new moves?
They will now be called
the Biles.
NEWSWOMAN:
The first, twisting three times
while doing two flips in midair
during floor exercise.
The second on the balance beam.
ANNOUNCER: Backflip,
backflip, double-double.
There it is! That's the Biles!
NEWSWOMAN: With two moves
already named for her,
one on the vault
at last year's world's
and this on floor exercise.
ANNOUNCER:
Double layout with a half twist,
also known as the Biles.
-Yeah!
-Yes!
-Just flipping! Flipping!
-Simone Biles...
I mean,
she's out there making history
with all her flips
and spins and vaults.
I'm worried one of these times,
she's gonna keep spinning
-and just shoot off into space.
-It might happen.
It might happen.
-Let's just think about this
for a second. -Yeah.
-Have you thought about this?
-Okay.
How amazing this is?
Simone has four moves
named after her,
-which makes everything easier
for the announcer. -That's true.
-Yep, yep. -If you're announcing
for Simone Biles, I mean,
"Simone is now going into
a Biles with a Biles,
"and here she comes
with a Biles.
And, oh! Oh, she stuck
the Biles! Oh, my goodness!"
They should just rename
gymnastics "Simone Biles."
Uh, yeah. I don't know.
You know, Roy,
I don't think
this is such a big deal.
I mean, my P.E. teacher named
a gymnastics move after me.
Okay?
It's the Michael Kosta, and it's
when you're playing dodgeball
and you go for the ball
and your pants fall down
and everyone sees
the penis-shaped birthmark
on your butt.
-(wolf whistle)
-Damn. That happened?
That happened to me 11 times,
Roy. So...
We're gonna move on!
The NBA season tips off
in a couple weeks,
but the preseason
is already cooking.
That's right. But like that time
I wore a do-rag,
it's not without controversy.
REPORTER:
This morning, Daryl Morey,
the general manager
of the Houston Rockets,
setting off a firestorm
with this now-deleted tweet.
(reading):
-(shouting)
-That tweet referring
to the massive protests
against Beijing
and the former British colony.
China, where the NBA is
the number one sports league,
reacted swiftly,
putting intense pressure
on the Rockets.
The Chinese Basketball
Association,
run by former Rocket Yao Ming,
announced it would suspend
all cooperation
with the Houston team.
The team's owner tweeting...
(reading):
-Oh, man. This is huge.
-Yeah, yeah.
-This is very huge.
-Yeah.
The Rockets GM
tweeted out support
to the Hong Kong protesters.
Now China is shutting down
their relationship with the NBA.
This is a bit of
a total overreaction from China.
That's like finding a spider
in your bedroom
-and you burn down the whole
house, you know? -Mm-hmm.
-You only need to burn down
the bedroom. -Yeah.
This is kind of a surprise
to me though,
because China and the Houston
Rockets have a lot in common.
-That's true.
-James Harden.
-James Harden likes to work
in isolation, -Mm-hmm.
and China likes forcing people
to work in isolation.
That's true. Look, look,
a-and look at Yao Ming.
I mean,
that's a blast from the past.
Did you know
he's still seven-foot-six,
even after he retired?
I mean, why keep being tall
if you're not even in the NBA?
That's a good point. But I got
to be honest with you, Kosta.
I'm disappointed in the NBA.
You're going to silence
one of your execs
to keep making money overseas?
I agree, Roy.
China is the victim here.
-That's not what I said.
-What?
Wait a minute,
are you getting paid by China?
That is cr-- absolutely crazy.
But almost as crazy as not using
Chinese integrated circuitry
for your integrated circuitry
needs.
It's so good, you won't
even care if it's spying on you.
Sellout.
-(cheering and applause)
-Speaking...
speaking of basketball,
let's move now to the NCAA,
-where the Kansas Jayhawks,
you know, -Yeah.
they had
a big preseason celebration
to mark their first practice.
They even hired Snoop Dogg
to perform.
But whoever booked him
clearly doesn't know
-who Snoop Dogg is.
-That's right.
This morning,
the University of Kansas
is apologizing for this video
that you see here.
Wearing a KU shirt,
Snoop Dogg performed
several of his hits,
uncensored, fired bills into
the crowd with a money cannon
and poles were brought out
for "acrobatic dancers."
This happened Friday night
at an event that was meant
to kick off the Jayhawks'
men's basketball season.
The University of Kansas
athletic director, Jeff Long,
apologized, saying, "We expected
a clean version of the show."
-I don't...
-(cheering and applause)
I don't... I don't understand.
Okay, what did the organizers
expect to happen?
-Yeah.
-If you invite Snoop Dogg,
-if you invite Snoop Dogg
to perform, -Yeah.
-you know what you're getting.
-That's right.
-You're getting some cussing,
getting some pimping, -Yeah.
-getting some booties, getting
some weed. -Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
What did you expect, the Kidz
Bop version of "Gin and Juice"?
Oh! I would love a Kidz Bop
version of "Gin and Juice."
You know? ♪ Rolling down
the sidewalk in my Big Wheel ♪
♪ Sipping on Juicy Juice ♪
-♪ Laid back ♪
-♪ Laid back ♪
♪ With my mind on my Legos
and my Legos on my mind. ♪
-Boom. Boom. -No, that was
terrible. -(cheering, applause)
That was...
It's-it's usually better
when I wear my do-rag.
But, Roy, this-this wasn't
a good look for the school.
You can't have strippers
at a campus event.
(stammering)
They were not strippers.
They were acrobatic dancers.
Okay. They-they were
acrobatic dancers
until Snoop started
showering money on them.
That's the rule.
If anyone throws cash at you,
you automatically become
a stripper, okay?
You take your clothes off every
night when you come home, right?
But if someone's throwing money
at you, boom, you're a stripper.
Well, if that's the case, Kosta,
-I'm gonna make you a stripper
right now. -Yeah.
-Oh, I love that! Call me
White Mocha! -Dance for me.
-Dance for me. Yeah. Yeah.
-Call me White Mocha!
-Dance for me, Kosta.
-You want to see my birthmark?
-Oh! No, no, no! No, no, no, no.
-You want to see my birthmark?
-What? -That's all for us,
Trevor! Back to you!
-(whoops) -Michael Kosta
and Roy Wood Jr., everybody.
