Hey everybody and welcome back to my channel.
Well this week I've had a few thoughts kind of rolling around in my head.
And I'm not sure I could really
put them under one kind of topic, so I figured I would just put them all out there at one time.
In one of my kind of "Maya uncut" videos, so if you'll forgive me, I hope I won't speak too long.
In any case
this all has to do with the idea that trans women are women and
to get there first I want to talk about a story of
that a friend told me many years ago.
She's a lesbian friend and not somebody you would know now from one of my videos or anything.
So don't go researching it because I promise me you'll get it wrong.
But she told me the story once of how she
could only come
when a girl went down on her if she thought of her
genitals as a penis. So this was a cisgender woman, so she was assigned female at birth,
so she never had to go through transition or anything and
She had this thing and I was very supportive of that idea, you know, I I just
to me it just seemed just in that another like wonderful variation of what it meant to be a woman and
What it meant to be a lesbian and I didn't doubt her femininity because of it
And I didn't doubt that she was a lesbian
You know, I think a lot of times lesbians do get doubted because of some of their preferences in bed
And I don't think that's fair. I don't think that's fair for anybody.
I think we should be free to ha... to do whatever we enjoy in bed.
But this ties to the topic in that
I've often been asked by people you know you're a transgender woman
You talk of yourself in those terms. I'm a transgender woman. I'm a transgender woman. When do you get to be just a woman?
And the answer I think sadly for the foreseeable future at least is
Probably never and
The reason for that is that we just get measured by a different stage
we just do and I thought of that story that my friend told me and I try to imagine the reverse
Where I told her that you know after my surgery that the only way I could get off was to
you know when a girl was going down on me to pretend that my
neo vagina, as they're called after surgery, was actually a penis, and I'm sure she would have looked at me and kind of
Paused the second and thought to herself wow that's kind of weird in it
I mean you went through all this trouble to go through transition to get rid of your penis only to
imagine that you have one when you're having sex.
So it's a different standard, we're not seeing the same way
We're seeing through this lens of masculinity or at least this assumed
masculinity that of people kind of figure that we had growing up
and and it kind of permeates to so many things and
So much of the stuff that we do and and are judged by you know I think to myself that
let's say aesthetic performance I
Don't know if there will ever be an elite
transgender
female
Athletes, I mean to see actually some elite trans men who are athletes, but
there's this assumption that they were born actually with a handicap right they were born,
you know, the assumption is physically weaker because they're women, but that trans guys
well or rather, I'm sorry, that trans women
didn't have that issue because we were guys, right, we were men
And it doesn't really address the reality of what hormones those to us, you know,
also that the fact that we were women to begin with, so I think that any transgender woman
who attempts to succeed or excel in an athletic field you know whatever would be
soccer, softball,
you know, MMA as we saw with actually a trans woman who did try to do that
there will always be this assumption that she has this physical advantages. Her performances are never going to be seen as
simply the result of her skill and
any god-given ability. It's always gonna be seen as oh well, you know, she's got an advantage because of the way she was born.
Even if medical science says that's not the case and that stretches to other things as well, you know, I think that
so many times women and I mean cisgender women, women who are of signed female at birth.
are scene is overcoming things and and that despite their origin they are
aggressive or they are, you know, take charge and and
all these things that they somehow had to overcome something to be able to be those things
Whereas if I as a transgender woman do those same things it's suddenly seen as somehow
an expression of male socialization and
not in any way an inherent characteristic of me. I mean or rather,
yeah, it's not something that is seen as feminine, the feminine version of those things
I guess is a better way to put it
And trans women are seeing that way in everything.
The way we dress, you know, if I think so often trans women are accused of being ultra feminine when we come out
that, you know, we put on skirts and heels and dresses and all these things that has seen as some sort of I don't know
a perversion almost like. That we take the worst stereotypes of femininity and become those things.
Because we were actually guys when you think about it
You know really all of this comes down to the idea that there's a prejudice that we actually are men
Or would that we actually were men, and we haven't gotten rid of all of that
So there isn't this
this presumption of our
womanhood throughout our entire lives
And we as trans women are always arguing for that, right, that that really we were women from the very beginning
You just couldn't see it
So when we get a chance to express these things for the first time sometimes. We were a little bit excited
we're a little bit exuberant about it, and you know we may dress a little more femininely at least at first but,
you know, if a young girl does that, you know, she puts on her princess dresses
And and or like spends all day and her ballet outfit with a tutu, you know, she's not in any way
judged for that that, you know, those they might call her daddy's little princess. They may say oh, she's so cute. Oh my god
she's such a girly girl.
Where as a trans woman is somehow judged for that?
By the same token if we then go the other direction and
Dress in
clothes that are, let's say, for lack of a better term more masculine
we are then seen as
expressing this old side of ourselves that we can't, you know, get rid of
In both cases our femininity is doubted and
with
cisgender women it is never doubted
So to my friend who said that you know when am I gonna be just a woman
Like I said probably never because we are not judged by the same yardstick, you know, we don't, we don't
We don't tell women that they actually really aren't women
if they act in these ways.
You know, we may say they're not acting in a feminine way, but we don't doubt the fact that they were actually
authentically women because biologically they're women.
You know, they have all the right parts to begin with so at no point
Do we actually tell them that, you know, you know you actually are a man, or you're acting like a man uh?
Well, we might actually say you're acting like a man
we do say that, but we don't actually we don't tell them that you are a man like we went to a trans woman and
I Don't think that's fair. You know. It's it's very very tough to live by these other standards. You know
if
And it's not just us who are judged by those things. It's also our partners. You know I
I've mentioned in another video how I got into discussion with a lesbian who said something along the lines that if a
a cisgender lesbian sleeps with a pre-op transgender woman
That cisgender lesbian may not actually really be a lesbian
But by the same token if it's two cisgender women and one of them tells her partner how much she loves it when her
When she's penetrated with a strap-on like the most realistic strap-on you can find, and there's some pretty realistic ones out there
You know lesbians forever have been have been talking about how they shouldn't be judged for that right that they should
That they're really women they're really lesbian side even though they like that sort of pleasure
Like my friend in the story in the beginning. It doesn't mean that they're not actually legitimately lesbians but
Put a trans woman in that equation and all of a sudden we do doubt
Whether that cisgender woman is actually really a lesbian you know
We don't see
The transgender woman with the penis is actually really a woman
We don't you know I mean we might give lip service to that we might say yeah
You know I totally believe your woman your gender identity is female I accept you as that
But there's still in society this part in the back of their brains
That are still uncomfortable with it that still sees a penis as a masculine thing except when
It's attached to a cisgender woman
You know I'm just being
speculative here, but you know I can imagine if there was... the technology existed
where we could give cisgender women a penis
we wouldn't suddenly call them men or judge them by those standards we wouldn't
bar them from locker rooms and
bathrooms and the things that we do with transgender women we wouldn't see them as a threat for rape because
or sexual assault because
We would know inherently we would just know that
Right here where it counts they're really women. They are women.
But a transgender woman is not judged by those standards
You know
The fates of
cisgender women and transgender women, as you can see I've been talking about both of us actually all along and this is because we're
inextricably linked
Until
Cisgender women and transgender women can
Be seen with by the same standards, I don't think either one of us is really gonna be free or liberated
You know I think
We see so-called transgender I mean uh I'm sorry yeah transgender exclusionary radical feminists
Judges by different standards, and they judge other women in their own in groups. You know they if we speak up for ourselves
we're seen as somehow, you know, being aggressive males you know and and
silencing women and
but if a woman a
Cisgender woman does that as part of their group
They're seeing us somehow being assertive and strong then and needs to be respected for that and if we act
Demure they see us as somehow like I said earlier and those other examples as somehow exhibiting the worst in
feminine stereotypes
Though we give we give all these freedoms to cisgender women to do these things now
in our modern society
that we don't give the transgender women
But until
All of it can be seen as part of a whole as until we can all be seen
by that same
lens that instead of being seen as
transgender women and women and somehow being radically different and
until we can overcome that inherent prejudice of our origin I
think we're going to be
at odds
Too often I think we are natural allies
You know the thing that kept us very often in
The closet the thing that kept us trapped in our old lives is the fact that
We would be judged by the by the idea that to come for a somebody who is seen as a man,
To come out and say that I'm actually a woman is somehow
degrading or lowering ourselves we were we were trapped by that and that is because of the way we see women and
Until we can change that societal perception, which would of course impact cisgender women as well and their own freedoms
None of us are going to be free.
Any way.
That was a long video look... uh wow!
When you get me going I can really talk for a long time
I should mention that my video next week will be the last probably of... not ever.
Don't freak out. It'll be the last of
2017 because after that will be Christmas and New Year's and
I think the videos would normally come out on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve and let's face
it nobody is gonna be watching on those Sundays.
I hope you all have better things to do on those days, so I will return in the first Sunday of January
Anyway, like share and subscribe and see you around interwebs.
