

## The Book Keeper

By

### DC Chambers

Copyright 2016 © DC Potgieter

writing as DC Chambers

All right reserved

This is a work of fiction. The story, all names, characters, businesses, products, places, events, incidents and illustrations are either part of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. This novel, writing and pictures, are not intended to have any resemblance with actual persons, living or dead, businesses, products and incidents. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. This novel is not intended to promote or glorify any actions done by any characters in this story.

This book is dedicated to

Mrs M Smith, Mr W Botha and Miss L Bester for proofreading and feedback

Mr W Paver for designing an outstanding book cover

Please leave a review and visit my profile

Life – what is it to you? I want to know what you resemble life with.

A candle, maybe? It provides you enough light and a bit of warmth to continue on the path we call life. But when it burns or blows out, it means you lose that loved one and then you are left in a dark and cold world. This is the time you have to mourn that person and try to find yourself in this mess. Have you ever felt that pain? To know the person is gone forever and you'll never see them again. Life goes on after that, but you are the one with the burns from the melted wax.

Maybe you don't see life as a candle, but rather as an hourglass. You can basically feel the sands of time between your toes, just like dancing on the beach – it's a vacation. But the sand, just like other things in life, will stop flowing eventually and then it is another goodbye to a loved one. At this moment, the same sand that felt good against your skin is now covering and smothering you with all the weight in the world. Have you ever been under so much pressure? Where you end up asking yourself what is left out there for you. Life also goes on after that, but the stain from the sand sticks to your body like glue.

Do you want to know how I saw life after a friend passed away? I saw life as a book. A book that must be written every day. A book that only the writer knows when and how the story will end. Now, why would anyone want to end a story and a life for fun by just writing, 'the end'? To me it seems like as someone's story gets closer to a blank page, then the person gets sick or something bad happens to them. Who says life does not work like that? How would you react if you find the person that is responsible for your story or a loved one's story? It is tough a question. If someone told me to write words in a book in order for a friend to stay alive, I would have done that in a heartbeat. I'm sure you would do that too for your father, mother, brother, sister or your spouse.

You and I may not have a lot of things in common, but I am sure we can talk for hours about life and death. This is a love story with a twist.

### Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 1

My name is Matthew Myers. I am 28 years of age, born on 13 April 1983. I am a paramedic by profession. There's 3 people that will always mean the world to me and that's my dad, my mother and my best friend, James, who passed away a week ago.

It's a rainy day, people dressed in black, hiding under dark umbrellas from the blackened sky, which is filled by the darkest clouds to fit in for the occasion and the body of my best friend dressed in white. Your coffin is your shelter, your new home, that is resting on the belts waiting to lower you down into the darkness of the Earth. I can remember all the times we had like yesterday. It's a nightmare, I saw you a week ago and now I'll never see you again... now you are alone. We are born alone and we shall die alone, what you do with the time between the two events is your choice – I guess it doesn't really matter. While I am reliving the old memories, the coffin starts descending into the dark abyss of the never ending grave. I don't care who you are, I don't care how strong or how tough you are, but in that instant reality hits you right between the eyes. And the only comfort you are supposed to find is the angel of death whispering in your ear: "I'm sorry your friend is gone". Am I supposed to find solace in that? Then the coffin reaches its final resting place and family members gather the dirt that will lay you to rest. Tears have wet the earth for black roses to grow from the grave, but, for the better, I hope it is a summer lily.

It's funny how people operate. We wait for the moment a person passes away and then we want to write a farewell message on his social network wall, or buy flowers to decorate their grave, or to be angry at the time we didn't spend with them. Why don't we write that message on their social network wall, or buy those flowers, or spend that time with them while they are still alive? I know I would prefer it like that. But to tell the honest truth it is and always will be like that. We will always long for some more time with that person. At the end there will still be messages, flowers and anger that people will want to share with the dead. I guess it's just a defense mechanism for the mind to lessen the pain – to remove some of the guilt that we may feel. But all is said and done now. Time to go home.

Driving home through Grim street I kept thinking of my friend James. Grim street is a usual client for us paramedics, with an average of about 20 call-outs per week. How I wish I was on duty during the time of his accident, maybe I could have made a difference. Car accidents can happen so fast and the guilty party just drove off, not even stopping to call an ambulance or check a pulse. The air is still polluted by the smell of burnt flesh and the road is decorated by marks of all the accidents. I was well familiar with the harsh reality of being surrounded by blood, sorrow and death, but I never thought my friend's passing will affect me this much. 12 March 2011, the day of his death, will forever be etched into my mind.

I arrived home. The rain fell aggressively from the heavens, but I was calmly walking to the front door. There is something about rain that is not good for a grieving person. It is as if all the angels are crying with me. In situations like this your heartache really gets amplified by the rain.

Upon walking into the house a few photos, hanging from the wall, greets me. From photos of me as a child to a photo of a young married couple – my father and my mother. Unfortunately my mother is not with us anymore. She passed away in a car accident when I was only 4 years old. At that time I was too young and naive to really know how it feels like to lose someone, but today I really miss my mother. Most people will keep something that will remind them of their lost loved one like a photo, or a tattoo, or even something like a teddy bear. The memory that I was blessed and cursed with is a hideous scar accompanied by other small scars, that was caused by the accident that took my mother away, all over my face. I am boiling over with the frustration I have with my life, but it won't help me in any way because everything that has happened is irreversible. Although, through all the sorrow and pain of losing my mother at least something good has emerged. Due to her absence my dad and I grew closer than ever, just like tea and biscuits. There was a lot of pain and regret that I felt over the years, but my mother's death was the inspiration for me choosing to be a paramedic.

I walked into the living room. A man with a semi long gray beard and unruly gray hair, that looks like he made contact with a hairbrush over a decade ago, is sitting on a chair in the living room. No, it's not Santa Claus, he is too skinny to be Santa. He is dressed in a purple t-shirt, maroon trousers and slippers. And no, he is not a homeless person with a bad fashion sense. The only person that will look like this out of his own will is a writer and he is my father. I guess you could blame it on his creative spirit.

"Good evening, Dad," I greeted as I walked into the living room.

"Good evening, Son," he replied.

He has this habit of disappearing every night since I was 4. He would lock himself in his study for about an hour. Every time I would confront him about that, he says he is writing a very special book and I am not allowed to read it, although he shared all his other novels with me. But to be busy with a book for over 20 years is a bit strange, but hey, I don't mind, as he always says it is 'a writer's thing'. There is some kind of a dating show on the television. I can not stand love, the only love I know now and will ever know in the future is the way you love your friends and family. I never had a true girlfriend, I guess that is why I feel all this emotions of how false love can be. Usually when I suggested a way to spend some time with that special girl, the only reaction that I always got was 'yes, I think we can. I'll let you know'. Guess what, I am still waiting for an answer. That was just another indirect way of saying no. I can't help but think my scars have something to do with it. But despite all of this, in the back of my mind I know I'll give up a lot of things if love can prove to be true. I can imagine how it feels to hold someone next to you and to feel all the untrue fading away. At the end of the day we all need that someone special in our lives.

Irritation slowly seeped in with all this 'lovey-dovey' nonsense on the television and I got up.

"Where are you going now?" my dad asked while I was walking away.

"To my room Dad, it was a long day," I said.

"Son," he replied and I paused.

"I know you never had any luck with love so far, but keep one thing in mind. One of these days nothing will make sense and you will feel like giving up. But the next day, everything will make sense again," he said.

"Yes, Dad. At this moment nothing really makes sense and I'm sure tomorrow is still going to be just the same," I said.

"Just hang in there. Something good will come along," he said.

"How do you know that, Dad?" I asked in disbelieve.

"I just know," he said.

"But how? Are you able to predict the future?" I asked trying to suppress the sarcasm in my voice.

"No, I can't predict the future. But I am able to write it," he said.

I looked at him with a look of confusion spread over my face. He always had a strange sense of humor. So this must be one of those jokes. Who will ever know with these weird, creative people?

"What are you talking about, Dad?" I asked.

"You'll find out sooner or later, all that I'm asking you is to hold on tight and never let go. Remember, hard times don't last, but strong people do," he said.

"Well, I just don't know anymore, maybe it will. Everything is really just falling apart and nothing is being rebuild," I said before walking into the kitchen, which is next to the dining room.

Maybe I can believe my father, I actually want to, but I just can't at this moment in my life. What I feel and what I experienced is still stealing the spotlight.

"I think I'm going to write," my father said, standing behind me.

"Dad, how long are you going to write that book?" I asked with my irritation getting the best of me.

"I am almost done with it," he said.

"And then? Are you going to publish it then?" I asked.

"No," he said.

"No? Dad, you have been writing this book for an hour every night for over 20 years. Why wouldn't you want to publish it?" I asked with a slight hint of frustration in my voice.

"Well, sometimes a writer's work is not all supposed to be published. Some of it may have other meaning and use to it," he said.

"And this lifetime book that you are busy with? Is that one of those that may have another meaning or use?" I asked.

"Absolutely, it is," he said.

"Okay. Sounds stranger than fiction," I said.

"It will be. Don't worry about it, it's a writer's..." he said before I interrupted him.

"A writer's thing. Yes, I get it. The great quote of Evan Myers," I said.

"No, not Evan Myers. It's actually the great quote of Charlie Echoes," he said.

"O, yes. Your pseudonym," I said.

"Yes," he said.

"Dad, it always bothered me how you came up with a pen name like Charlie Echoes. Where did you get that?" I asked.

"It took me something like 2 minutes to come up with that name, it's just something simple," he said.

"But does Charlie refer to the famous artist Charlie the Clay Master that lived in the 19th century? Secondly does Echoes refer to the cartoon I used to watch when I was a kid, maybe you took inspiration out of that because I can remember you watching with me when that show was on?" I asked smiling.

My father chuckled as soon as I finished talking. I joined in with his laugh.

"Or thirdly, and I think this may be the truth, are you really enthusiastic about military alphabet?" I asked.

He laughed again.

"I never thought about it that way, but thinking about it now, I'd say it's somewhere in between," he said.

"So it is a mystery?" I asked.

"Pretty much, yes," he said.

All I could do is smile and shake my head, behind all the weirdness and randomness my father sometimes frustrates me endlessly, because of his ability to be calm in every situation. But most of the time he amazes me, he went through so much to show me what happiness is. And to tell the truth, it scares me to think about everything he will sacrifice to see me happy. I love this old man that some people may think of as an old hipster hobo.

"Yeah, Dad. It's a writer's thing. Right?" I asked.

"Exactly," he said.

I chuckled.

"Well, I think I'm going to sleep, night Dad," I said.

"Don't you want to eat? What about supper?" he asked.

"I'm not really hungry, but what's for dinner?" I asked.

"Your food is in the microwave," he said as he opened the microwave and took out a covered plate.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Steak and baked potato," he said as he removed the top.

The smell of the steak filled the air. Now to any hungry person that would smell heavenly, but to me the air was polluted, it felt like I was inhaling carbon monoxide. Every time I smell roasted or grilled red meat, I'm reminded by the smell of the gruesome car accidents mixed with a thousand screams.

"I'm feeling nauseous, Dad. Please, just cover that," I said as I used my hand to cover my mouth and nose.

My dad covered the plate and placed it back in the microwave.

"I thought it wouldn't bother you anymore, we have been eating only fish, chicken and turkey for the past 6 months now, no red meat," he said.

"I can't stand it. I don't know if I'll ever be able to eat it again," I said still holding my hand over my mouth.

"At least the smell is gone now," he said.

I removed my hand from my mouth and inhaled a little bit of cleaner air.

"What are you going to eat then?" he asked.

"No, I'm not really hungry. I'll just drink a glass of milk," I said before pouring myself a glass.

"Okay, you know it's Thursday night, right?" he asked.

"You said just now that you are going to write," I said.

"Later, I'll write when you go to sleep. We can't break tradition, can we?" he asked.

"Yes, but... of course, I'll be there in a moment," I said.

"Whiskey on the rocks," he said as he walked to the bar.

Thursday nights is our family's tradition to play Canasta. According to my parents I attended every Canasta session since my birth, although I won't be able to recall, I believe I was mostly too busy with my own toys. What I can remember is that I started to play this game a few months before my mother's death. Beverages changed, from milk to water. From water to raspberry carbonated soft drinks. From the raspberry carbonated soft drinks to cola soft drinks. From cola soft drinks to cola soft drinks with a little extra kick, 'stolen' with compliments from dad's liquor cabinet. From that cola soft drink with the extra kick to a glass of whiskey on the rocks. First it was mom and dad. Then I joined in. Then it was only me and dad left. The times, beverages and people changed, but the game stayed the same. Every Thursday night as long as I can remember it was Canasta. Although I'm not in the mood for Canasta tonight, I'm still going to do it because of how important it is to my dad. We all have and had our individual lives, living past each other. But that was the solution Thursday nights brought. Canasta was not an old lazy card game, it was a merger of our individual lives. Time to calmly settle down and to talk about life as it is.

I walked into the room that my dad turned into a bar. A room that's packed with memories and good times. Dad was already sitting at the table busy shuffling 3 packs of cards. There were 2 glasses of whiskey on the table. One of them on the rocks and the other one mixed with soda. I sat down at the side with the whiskey on the rocks.

"So are you ready to lose once again?" he asked.

"No way old man. I never lose," I said.

"Yes and you never win also," he said.

"This time I'll show you how it's done," I said knowing it won't be easy.

Dad always wins this game. I don't know how he does it, but I never won any game with him being in it.

"I'm up for the challenge," he said before he started dealing.

Now, I don't know exactly how Classic Canasta is supposed to be played. I heard that you are only supposed to play with 2 packs of cards. Maybe with only 2 people playing that would work, but with more players that's going to be one long night. Though in this situation with my dad winning the entire time that may be the only way for me to win, because that will prevent him from creating full packs so quickly in the beginning of the game.

The instructions to our version is quite simple. Each player gets 14 cards from the dealer and every turn one must pick up 2 cards. Normal jokers counts 50 points. Twos are also treated as jokers which counts 20 points. Red threes count 100 points, but one has to put it aside and pick up a new card if one gets a red three, these can't be used to create packs. Black threes are the bad cards, with them one can't make packs and they count 300 penalty points for the person that has one of them at the end of the round. Then fours to sevens count 5 points, eights to kings count 10 points and aces count 20 points. They may all be used to create packs or strings which I'll also explain. One gets 3 types of full packs. A full pack consists of 7 cards. The black pack counts 300 points and consists of, for example, kings and 1 or 2 jokers. The red pack counts 500 points and consist of, for example, only kings and no jokers. The full 'string' as we refer to it counts 1500 points and consist of, for example, ace descending to 8. In this game the first player to get to 10000 points is crowned the winner. One is able to buy the cards that was thrown out by players, but one has to have 2 cards of the same number that the other player threw out, for example if the player threw out a seven, one must have 2 sevens in one's hand and the buyer must use the 2 sevens and the seven that was on top of the bought cards to create a pack. One can only buy until where the thrown out cards were last cut. To cut the pack of thrown out cards one has to use a joker. Another factor that may prevent a player from buying the pack of thrown out cards is the phrase of being 'on the table'. This simply means one has to put out enough points on the tables. For example if one has 0 to 1500 in total one has to get 60 points on the table. That simply means a pack of 3 aces will get one 'on the table'. Furthermore for 1501 to 3000 points, one will need 90 points on the table. 3001 to 4500 one will need 120 points on the table. 4501 to 7000 one will need 150 points on the table. And 7001 to 10000 one will need a Canasta on the table. A Canasta means that one has to create a full pack whether it's a black, red or string pack. One needs 2 full packs to be allowed to discard one's last card and end the round.

Each of us received 14 cards.

"Dad, I just checked the other day on how to play Canasta and it seems very different from this version," I said.

"Yes, but that is Classic Canasta. One thing about life is trying to be different from anyone else, that's what keeps life interesting," he said while adjusting the cards' order in his hand.

I know he is already making schemes to get one of those full string packs.

"That's true, but what do we call this version?" I asked.

"Well, let's just call it the Myers Canasta," he said.

"Okay, it seems fair," I said.

"You see, Canasta is much like life," he said right before he forms a spades card string, king descending to 8 that only needs 1 more card, ace or a seven, to be complete.

"And in which way would that be?" I asked.

Dad drew 2 cards from the stockpile of cards in the middle of the table.

"Sometimes you find something great and you strive to make the best of it," he said while he added an ace of spades to his string to complete it.

The full string gave him his first 1500 points.

"And some other times you'll get something bad, but something you'll be able to get rid off," he said while throwing out a 3 of clubs.

He is already getting rid of the cards that may cost him some penalty points.

"And sometimes you'll be stuck with something bad for a while," he said as he showed me another 3 of spades in his hand.

"But at the end of the game, the game of life, as long as you hold on, tough times will pass. You will not always find the card that you are looking for, but as long as you hold on, eventually in the next few turns you'll find something better and you won't need that card that you were looking for anymore," he said as he completed another pack.

"But with life you can't add another deck of cards and modify your chances of winning," I said as I threw out a card.

The thrown out cards turned into a stockpile of its own.

"Oh, I need some of those cards that you threw out earlier," he said while looking at the cards in his hand.

"Why not? Why would you want to complicate life when you can make it easier for yourself? Break some of the rules and never let anyone interfere with your dreams," he said as he bought the entire pack of thrown out cards.

"Oh no, now you are going to beat me. There goes my chances," I said.

"You must take what you need under the right circumstances and you'll succeed in this life. Yes, you will find a little heartache," he said as he showed me the previously thrown out black 3's.

"But what in life that is really worth it, won't come without some form of trouble? At the end of the day, your success and happiness will overshadow the negative parts," he said as he completed more of his packs.

Dad had 7 full packs and 3 red 3's on his side, which altogether gave him 6800 points. I only had 1 red full pack, which meant only 500 points.

"And then when you decide that you had enough and you want to settle down. You'll see that what you worked for was well worth it," he said as he discarded his last card to end the round.

"Come on! That's not fair, I still had a lot of cards to play," I said frustrated.

"And that is life. Sometimes fair and other times not, but it is always interesting," he said with an expression of pride on his face.

"Another whiskey before we begin with the second round?" my father asked.

"Yes please, Dad," I said as I gave him my glass.

"Shuffle those cards while I'm busy pouring the whiskey, please," he said.

While he was pouring the whiskey and I was busy shuffling the cards, I took some time to reflect on what he said about life. I found it very inspirational. The words had so much meaning and it really describes life in some way or another.

"There you go," Dad said as he handed me the whiskey.

"Thanks, Dad," I said while I continued shuffling the cards.

"Okay, I think that is enough. You can deal this time," he said.

I gave each of us 14 cards, but peaked at every card that I gave him.

"Hey, you are cheating," he said.

"No, not cheating. Just breaking some of the rules," I said with a smile.

Dad laughed.

"A quick learner, my son," he said smiling.

"Yes, learned from the best, my dad," I said.

His smile was a humble smile. We began with the second round.

"So how is it going with the ladies?" he asked.

"Good I guess. Well, I won't really know because no woman will look twice when they see this scarred face," I said.

"Looks are not everything in this world," he said.

"No, it is Dad. In today's world it is. Personality does not get you anywhere anymore," I said.

"Well, in my time when I was young personalities got you far," he said.

"Then I would have had a ball if I lived in that era," I said.

"I think someday you'll find a girl that will look past the scars and see something beautiful inside," he said.

"Maybe, but I hope I'll still be alive and breathing when that day comes," I said.

"You will be and I may not be. But I will be a proud man, to know you found happiness," he said.

"Why do you think that, Dad? Are you predicting the future again?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, I told you, I'm writing it," he said.

"It doesn't mean that you are not going to live anymore when I get the girl, you'll still be alive," I said.

"We will never know. Things happen in strange ways," he said.

We continued with Canasta and my dad finished with his personal best score of 13800.

"Congratulations, Dad. You won again," I said.

"Thank you for playing with me," he said.

"Of course. But I'm tired now. I'm going to call it a night," I said.

"Okay, I'm going to write now," he said.

"Sure you are, Dad. Goodnight," I said.

"Goodnight, Son," he said.

I lay in my bed feeling the blankets embracing me in a cold, but increasingly warm world. Everything became too much lately. But after this conversation with my dad I can't help but to have a little hope for something special in the future. The rain that fell down hard the entire day, turned into a light drizzle. Sometimes the rain that previously caused you more pain gives you the promise that everything is going to be all right. A promise of new hope. Just like the air that smells fresh and animals celebrating the gift from heaven, the rain renews and cleanse me from all the pain. The pain is still there, but what good medicine does not cause you pain before pride? At the end of the day, I think everything will be fine. But not today, not just yet.

Tomorrow it's back to work. Back on the road. Back as a paramedic, saving lives. Just before I slipped away into dream land, one last thought ran through my mind. What if I open my eyes tomorrow and realize this was all just a bad dream?

Chapter 2

Days turned into weeks, we lost some lives and saved some lives. Someone once told me that time heals all wounds. Well that statement is true. First I was reminded of my loss on a daily basis, then weekly and then only once in a while.

I'm home again, it's Thursday night. Once again it's me and my dad sipping on whiskey and playing our usual Canasta version, but there's something that just feels different tonight and I can't put my finger on it.

"So do you feel lucky tonight?" Dad asked.

"Yes, I always feel lucky," I said confidently.

"Lucky enough to strike a win this time?" he asked.

"Yes, you are going down tonight, old man," I said.

"Who knows? Maybe this will be it," he said.

We played and we both got some good cards to create some good packs. It felt like he was holding back a little bit.

"Don't hold back now, Dad," I said.

"I'm not. I'm just not finding the right cards," he said.

"Okay, well that is just too bad," I said as I discarded my last card.

"You won. You little rascal, you won," he said.

"For the first time yes. I'm the winner, whoo hoo!" I celebrated.

"Well, there is always a first time for everything," he said.

We calculated our points.

"You got 11000 in the first round. Wow, I haven't even done that yet," Dad said.

"Well congratulations, Son. Well played. I'll be right back, just going to the bathroom," he said before he walked away.

After my dad left I looked at his cards to see which cards he was missing. He had all the cards he needed to top my score, but for some reason he didn't play them. He let me win on purpose.

"It's late. I'm just going to write and then I'm going to bed," he said when he came back.

I just stared at him.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I'm just going to take a shower and then I'm also going to bed," I said.

"Okay, well goodnight, Son," he said before turning around and walking away.

"Dad, why did you let me win?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he turned towards me.

"This," I said as I showed him how complete his cards were.

"You have all the cards you need to top my score," I said.

"Oh, I didn't even notice," he said.

"Are you serious, Dad? You were always on top of your game," I said.

"I really didn't notice, Son," he said as tears were forming in his eyes.

"What's wrong, Dad?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's your time now, Son. Your time to win and to succeed. To draw those cards that you always wanted," he said as he walked away.

I don't know what is going on, all I know is that something feels wrong. My dad is never this emotional, not even when my mother died was he this emotional. I walked past the study to my room.

"Goodnight, Dad," I said.

"Goodnight, Son," he said.

I jumped into the shower. There's something about a good shower that calms me, a good alternative to rain that gives hope. I got into bed, folding the blankets around myself. Tomorrow is another day, I reminded myself before slipping away.

The next day when I woke up my dad was already up.

"Good morning, Dad," I said when I walked into the kitchen.

"Morning, Son," he said as he smiled.

"Look at the time, I need to get to work. Goodbye, Dad," I said while walking to the door.

"Son, wait," he said.

"Yes, Dad?" I asked.

"Give me a hug," he said.

"Dad?" I asked filled with confusion.

"I just want a hug from you," he said.

"Okay," I said and I hugged him.

It was not a common thing for us to hug each other.

"Whatever may happen today. I just want you to know that I love you and I'm proud of you," he said with a smile on his face.

"I love you too, Dad," I said.

I saw tears forming in his eyes, but his smile didn't waver.

"I have to go. I'm going to be late. See you tonight. Goodbye, Dad," I said as I rushed out.

While I was driving to work my dad's actions bothered me. I don't know why he was so emotional.

At work it was quiet the entire day. No emergencies. I was relaxing at the hospital still waiting for our first call when Joe, one of my colleagues, came running towards me.

"We have a 911, there has been an accident in Grim street," he said.

I got in the car and started it as fast as I could. We sped to the accident scene with sirens screaming. The other cars on the road made way for us to pass. As adrenaline pumping as it may sound, this was the common day to day job we had to do. We were always first on scene, before the police and the ambulance.

Arriving at the scene we saw that a car had hit a pedestrian. We stopped and I got out. The wind screen of the car was smashed. The driver of the car is walking around in shock. The pedestrian's face is covered with blood, he is still breathing, but I can't identify him.

"What's your name, Sir?" I asked with a calm voice.

This is how we were trained, to stay as calm as possible in a stressful situation.

"It's me," a familiar voice mumbled.

As soon as I heard his voice fear gripped my heart with an iron fist. I wiped the blood off the person's face with my shirt, not caring if I, or the patient, might get any disease, just hoping it's not who I think it is. Joe spoke to me, but I didn't even hear what he said, I was too focused. A familiar face crisscrossed by fresh scars looked up at me.

"Dad..." I said with emotions dragging me down to a cold place I never even knew existed.

"What happened?" I asked.

He smiled at me with a broken smile.

"Fate happened, Son. This is all part of a plan. The last page of my book of life, my story is read, it is finished and published," he said.

I can't move my body, fear left me paralyzed. All I can do is stare. Luckily Joe is trying to help him.

"It can't be, Dad. I can't lose you now. You are all that's left," I pleaded.

"It happens, Son. Remember what I said. Today nothing will make sense and you're going to feel as if you want to give up. But hold on, because tomorrow everything will make sense and you will find a new reason worth living for. Just let this day pass and hold on for tomorrow," he reassured me.

Blood was starting to flow out of his mouth and emptiness was flowing into me. I knew at that moment I'm on my way to lose him.

"Joe! Where is that ambulance? Tell them to hurry up!" I screamed.

"There is a note that I left in the study, make sure to read it. It will tell you everything that you need to do for me. Promise me one thing?" he asked.

"Yes, Dad?" I asked with tears clouding my vision.

"That book that I was always busy with. It's also in the study. Make sure you write that story every single day. Don't skip a day. Do you promise?" he asked.

"I promise, Dad," I said.

A smile I never saw before formed on his face. I felt the first tear running down my cheek.

"I am a happy man, happy to have had you as a son," he said.

I just stared at him.

I heard the very last breath of air escaping his lungs and blowing out his candle of life, the last light that guided me. It felt like the earth stopped rotating and shaking when his heart stopped beating.

"No! Dad!" I screamed with a face covered in tears.

Here in Grim street I fell with my face first on the tar road and I don't think I can get up again. This is it – my ultimate sorrow. My re-welcoming into an ice cold world...

We returned to the hospital. On our way Joe tried to speak to me but I didn't respond. When we arrived at the hospital they sent me home.

I just sat on my father's chair in the living room – emotionless and alone. But it wasn't long before I got some uninvited company. The emotional pain came to talk to me when I longed for silence the most. As the sun set, I welcomed the night into the house. My emotions are highlighting the irony of my life. I was out to do good. To assist humanity by saving lives and my reward was to suffer 3 of the greatest losses ever, my mom, my best friend and now my dad. What is the meaning of life when everyone you love dies? I can remember how I felt when I had to tell people that their loved ones had passed away. How I told them that I had the situation under control and their response was that it was one of their loved ones that were lying there. I finally know how it feels to look on while life is flowing out of someone you love. They were helpless, just as I was. Some of his last words kept echoing in my head.

"Promise me one thing? That book that I was always busy with. It's also in the study. Make sure you write that story every single day. Don't skip a day. Do you promise?" he asked.

What is all the fuss about this book? It is a book that was written for over 20 years that will never be published. Why is it so special that it still needs to be written? I went to the study to fetch the book when I saw the note that was lying on the book. I picked it up.

*********

My son, if you read this note it means I'm already gone. I'm honored to have known you as my son. You were truly the best son a father could have asked for. This is the book I was busy with for the past 20 years. It is about a girl named Alazne who lost her parents late on the night of 13 May 1989 in a car accident. I need you to continue with her story.

Love, Dad.

*********

I returned to the living room with the thick book clutched to my chest. 'The Book Keeper' was printed on the cover, but the book itself was handwritten. I sat down and began to read...

*********

14 May 1987

All morning there had been no movement in the hallway of the hospital's emergency unit. Silence grew in the air before it was poisoned by the sound of the emergency staff running and screaming.

"We have a deceased 28 year old pregnant woman," a paramedic yelled as he was pushing the bed down the hallway of the emergency unit.

They rushed her into the operating theater.

"The woman was involved in a car accident. She passed away on our way here, but we still have a heartbeat on the baby," the paramedic said.

The pregnant woman's doctor was already at the hospital, even though it was his night off. They took the woman into the theater and the doctor performed an emergency cesarean while some of the other personnel monitored the unborn baby's heart rate. He took out the baby and the nurse sucked out the slime that was in the throat. The baby cried as she was welcomed into this place we call 'life'.

"A beautiful baby girl, it is a miracle that she is alive," the nurse said.

"Yes, but I'll have to examine the baby first. We have to see if there is any damage," the doctor said.

The doctor examined the baby from head to toe.

"It's a miracle, the baby seems absolutely fine," the doctor said.

The doctor looked at the baby.

"Place the child in an incubator, we'll have to monitor her for the next few days," the doctor said.

The nurse wrapped the child in a towel and took her away.

"Doctor, this is Mrs Duncan. She was here the other day for her checkup and everything was still fine," the other nurse said.

"Yes I know, I received a call from them about 20 minutes ago. She told me that the baby is coming. The baby was not supposed to be born today," the doctor said.

"The baby was actually scheduled to be born next month, right?" the nurse asked.

"Yes, she had another 3 weeks to go," the doctor replied.

The nurse placed the child in the incubator.

"Welcome to this life, little baby," the nurse said.

At the other side of the glass a proud uncle and aunt stood by to welcome the young life.

"Such a beautiful baby," aunt Mary said.

"We will raise her," uncle Bruce said.

"What will we name her?" aunt Mary asked.

"I have no idea. You are good with names, Mary. You can choose," uncle Bruce said.

"Alazne... We will name her Alazne," aunt Mary said.

"Alazne? Why Alazne?" uncle Bruce asked.

"It means miracle in Spanish," aunt Mary said.

"Well, it fits this situation. Alazne it will be," uncle Bruce said.

*********

There was more written in the book about that day, but I took a break for a while. There are a lot of pages in this book. Quickly paging through the book I can see all the pages are set up like a diary. Everyday is a chapter with events filled out. I opened the book on the last page. It reads: '19 June 2013'. I realized it is tomorrow's date. This was the last page my dad wrote. I began reading to get some clarity on what this is exactly about.

*********

Alazne wakes up to another beautiful morning. The sun is shining through her window. Birds are singing her a welcome song. She freezes for a while when she sees herself in the mirror. It's almost as if she is waiting for someone else to appear. She turns and examines every part of herself in the mirror. Strands of black hair hanging down her back, blue eyes that can see right through you, lips as soft as cotton and a beautiful athletic body. But through all this even a blind man will be able to see the questions in her eyes. She opens her wardrobe and takes out blue jeans and a golf shirt with 'Grim Bookshop' printed on the back. She got dressed and finished to go to work. She got into her 1966 red 'Draven Master', a relatively unknown car to most people, that her uncle bought for her when she turned 21. Usually it was a mission to start the car, but this morning it started just like a new car. It even drove better than she was used to. She stopped at the traffic light on a steep uphill, but when the light turned green and she accelerated, the car died. It happened too fast for her to use the emergency brake of the car and she hit the man with the motorbike behind her. Just after she ran the man over, she managed to apply the emergency brake and got out of the car.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she cried while she was running towards the victim.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she asked concerned.

"I'm fine," he replied while getting up from the ground.

She grabbed him and prevented him from standing up.

"Are you sure? I'll take you to the hospital, for a checkup," she said.

"I'm a paramedic, I can look after myself, but my bike is clearly written off now," the man said.

"I'm sorry, I'll pay for it," she said.

*********

I slipped into a deep sleep with the book in my hands.

'I opened my eyes and I saw I was lying on my bed. There were noises coming from my dad's room. I got up from my bed and went to his room. He stood with his back to me.

"Dad? You're here," I said walking towards him.

"Of course I am," he said.

On the bed his bag was packed with his clothes.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm going to watch over you from a distance," he said.

Suddenly an open grave appeared behind me.

"But I..." I said before I was pulled into the grave.

I started falling. I looked down, but I just saw a never ending darkness. After a while of torture I saw the ground coming closer.'

Suddenly my soul hit my body with the speed of light and it hurt as I am awakened by reality. At first it seemed like a dream, it felt so good to escape and see my dad again. But now it feels like a nightmare, I'm tortured by the memory that reminds me of what I've lost. The book that was in my hands is now lying abandoned on the floor . I stood up from the chair and put the book on the table. I proceeded to my room.

My bed was freshly made. I threw myself under the blankets that cover my soul of heartache. It feels as if I'm running a race, but the need to accelerate overwhelms me, even though I'm tired. I just hope there is a prize for me at the end of this race, because all I got left is a book about a girl. If today was the day that my dad was talking about, where nothing makes sense, how will tomorrow prove to be different?

Chapter 3

The next morning I woke up, this time my dad's face just flashed by in my dreams, but it was unclear what happened. It's a new day, a beautiful warm day. Despite that the days are better, my heartache is still suffocating me. I need to escape from myself. I decided to spend some time at the bar. Maybe it's best to drown my sorrow a little. Maybe the sorrow will die out from the lack of air. I locked the house, started my motorcycle and proceeded to the bar. The bar I'm going to is situated in Grim Street. I stopped at a red traffic light behind a red 'Draven Master' on a steep uphill. Just the sight of this old red 'Master' kind of feels like deja vu, although I don't believe in that. It was anyway just a stupid old book, right? The traffic light turned green, suddenly the red 'Master' reversed and I was thrown off my motorcycle by the car that bumped into me. I lay on the road feeling how my skin burns from the fall. At least the driver pulled up the emergency brake before the car went over me. I can't believe that this is also happening. Have I not gone through enough? I could curse and swear at my life at this moment. The car's door opened and I saw bare feet running around the car towards me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," a woman's voice cried when she got to me.

I didn't look up at her.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she asked.

"I'm fine," I replied while I began to get up from the ground.

She grabbed me and held me down.

"Are you sure? I'll take you to the hospital, so that a professional can check," she said.

"What's your problem? I can look after myself..." I said before my words vanished in a gasp for air right when I looked up and I felt my heart skipping a beat... or maybe three beats.

My body was paralyzed again. I felt the butterflies in my stomach. Ice blue eyes splashed with dark eyeliner, raven black hair tied back that smells like a well known shampoo, red lips as soft as cotton that shines with red lip gloss, smooth skin that's kissed by a light brown tan, an athletic body dressed in a red golf shirt and blue jeans and... bare feet. Suddenly I was in so much pain. She is so beautiful it hurts. The car radio was not that loud, but for me the sound became amplified.

"And here's another hit, 'Stay with me' from 'The Zero Hour Project'," the radio broadcaster said.

The song began with guitar strings being picked mixed with a little piano. The lead singer of the band, Tyler Richards, began singing.

"I have so many questions in this life

And a few answers that doesn't fit quite right

I was never quite sure if I knew something

But I can tell you for sure what I've seen," the radio played.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" she asked with a look of concern on her face.

I just stared at her and in my silence I felt how the freezing world has all of a sudden become warmer than it was yesterday.

"Come over here and put your hand on my heart

Can you feel what you do to prevent me from falling apart?

If you can count the beats as fast as I do

Then you'll know how much my affection is for you," the radio played.

"Answer me, please?" she asked while she was busy shaking me to get a reply.

Still I just stared at her and in the growing silence I felt how she gave the earth and my world power to start rotating again. The force of gravity is decreasing and I can finally get up from the tar road.

"But will you stay with me, tonight?

For it is you that the shadows fear

Will you stay with me, tonight?

And whisper those sweet words I want to hear," the radio played.

"I'm not going to jail," she said as she dialed 911 on her cell phone.

In the last 24 hours my world was the darkest place ever, but her smile, eyes, hair and her entire being became the new candlelight in my life. I can finally see the colors around me again.

The radio's sound became softer and softer until it completely faded away as the car stopped idling.

"Come on just answer the phone," she said while waiting for the 911 call to go through.

"I'm fine," I said while getting up from the ground.

She ended the call.

"You gave me a fright," she said.

I looked at the motorcycle that was very badly damaged.

"Sorry about the bike, I'll pay for it," she said.

"No, don't worry. It was a piece of junk anyway. I'll get someone to come and pick it up," I said.

"Okay, but can I at least offer you a lift?" she asked.

I looked at her car.

"Don't worry it will start, it's just an old battery. I won't ask you to push it," she said smiling.

I chuckled a little.

"In that case, yes. I need a lift," I said.

"Good, where are you going?" she asked.

"To the bar," I said before regretting my honesty.

"This early in the morning?" she asked.

"Yes," I said shyly.

"They say alcohol is not the answer to questions," she said.

"True, but they also say it can make you forget the question," I said.

"True, but who wants to suffer from memory loss followed by a terrible headache in the morning?" she asked.

I just looked at her.

"I work at a book shop that makes the best coffee in town. I'm going there now, I'll buy you a cup," she said with a mini confident smile.

"Okay, sounds good," I said.

We got in her car. It didn't start immediately, but after about the sixth try it started. This time when she accelerated at the traffic light the car didn't die.

"So now you know where I work. What do you do for a living?" she asked.

"I'm a paramedic," I answered.

"So you are a hero? It's good to know that I'll be in good hands if I get into an accident," she said smiling.

"Yes, that is if I'm not part of the next accident," I said teasingly.

She laughed.

"Alazne," she said sticking out her hand for a shake.

"Pardon me?" I asked confused.

She laughed again.

"Yes, I get that reaction a lot. My name is Alazne. Alazne Duncan," she said with her hand out again.

Reality just struck me right between the eyes. That book, 'The Book Keeper' is about her. I mean, how many people has 'Alazne' for a name. Everything I read so far happened, her name is just the last nail in the coffin. I am the man that was ran over in the book. She must be the one.

"Alazne. You're Alazne," I said shocked.

"Yes, it's so nice you just had to say it twice," she said.

I just stared at her for a brief moment.

"Is it so unbelievable?" she asked.

"No, it's just that... well some people can swear in some strange languages. So I had to make sure," I said trying to find my composure.

She responded with a laugh.

"Yes, they surely can," she said.

"I'm Matthew Myers," I said while bringing my hand in to give her waiting hand a shake.

Just as I brushed her skin with my hand, she took her hand away.

"I understood that," she said with a smile and then she gave me a handshake.

"Pleasure to meet you," she said.

We stopped at the bookshop, got out of the car and she unlocked the door of the shop.

"Come on in," she said.

We walked in. There were a lot of books. The only place where there weren't books was on an old wood table with coffee mugs in the middle of the table.

"How do you like your coffee?" she asked.

"Two coffees, one sugar and a little bit of milk please," I said.

"Okay, coming right up. Feel free to look around," she said.

I walked through the book shelves. All of it is here, from fiction to religion. I froze when I saw their collection of Charlie Echoes books, my dad. An entire shelf filled with his books.

"I see you have a lot of Charlie Echoes books," I said.

"Oh yes. He's my all-time favorite author," she said.

"Really?" I asked while walking towards the wood table where she put my coffee mug.

"Yes, I love his work. Have you ever read some of his work?" she asked before she sat at the table.

"Yes, I have. Have you ever met him?" I asked and I also sat at the table.

"Yes, it was such an honor to meet him. He walked into the shop one day, he didn't buy anything," she said.

"When was that? Can you remember?" I asked interested.

"Of course I can remember. It was the 13 March 2011," she said.

"Okay. So what's the story behind Alazne?" I asked.

"Which story do you want to hear?" she asked.

"Oh, so there is more than one?" I asked.

"Of course yes," she said before she laughed.

"But what's the story behind the name, Alazne?" I asked.

"Okay Alazne... is actually my stage name," she said with a serious look on her face.

"Your stage name?" I asked.

"Yes, in my free time I strip for extra money. So I just go by the name. Plus it sounds kind of cool," she said.

I looked at her in disbelief. How can she be a stripper? It doesn't fit her.

She looked at me and she exploded with laughter.

"You really believed that, didn't you? I got you going," she said still laughing.

"No, my aunt named me Alazne, my aunt and uncle raised me," she said.

I chuckled and shook my head.

"Does it have any special meaning?" I asked.

"Miracle," she answered smiling.

"Special name," I said.

"Yeah, so what's the story behind Matthew?" she asked.

"Have you ever heard about Jonathan Savage that killed and ate his victims on that farm?" I asked.

"Yes," she said.

"Well, he is my uncle," I said enlarging my eyes.

She laughed and I decided to intensify the story even more.

"When I was about 12 years old we used to visit that farm. But I can't remember what actually happened when I was there. All that I knew when I got home was that I had this satisfaction over me, you know? Come to think of it. I can remember this one time I felt a cut on my neck, that was when I saw somebody's face that was eaten off lying in front of me. My mouth and my hands were covered in blood," I said to a freaked out look on Alazne's face.

"I think you're lying. You are too decent to do something like that," she said with a voice highlighting the disbelief.

"You think? I still have the scar here in my neck. You want to see?" I said while I rubbed my hand over my neck.

I sat there with my neck tilted to the left side and she leaned in to see the scar.

"But when..." she said before I scared her by making a quick growling noise.

She got such a big fright that she started falling from her chair, but I grabbed her before she fell off.

"Hey! Don't ever do that again. You gave me a huge fright," she said still trying to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry. I just had to return the favor," I said.

"Wasn't that a bit far fetched? What if I fell with my head against the floor? Who is going to help me then?" she asked with a tone in her voice, but with a teasing smile.

"Did I tell you I'm a paramedic?" I asked.

She laughed.

"Oh yes. I'm in good hands. I forgot that for a while," she said.

"You know it," I said.

The first client for the day came in and walked towards the front desk.

"I'll be back now, just going to assist that client," she said as she got up.

I looked at my watch and saw how time got itself in a hurry.

"Look at the how late it already is. It's time for me to go," I said while I got up from the chair.

"Okay, see you around," she said.

"Okay, bye bye," I said.

"Bye," she said and stared at me.

I walked towards the door, but I froze when I touched it. There is something that I must do before I leave. I told myself before that there is no such thing as love, that love is fake, but I think I should take a chance on this. It has been a while since I enjoyed a woman's company this much. She seems different from the rest. It seems like the right thing to do. My heart forced my body to turn back.

Alazne was busy typing on the computer.

"Alazne," I said while I was walking towards her.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Sorry to disturb. Do you have plans for tonight?" I asked.

"No," she said.

"Would you like to have dinner with me?" I asked.

"Yes, I'd like that," she said smiling.

"Lovely," I said.

"But only on one condition," she said.

"Name it," I said.

"As long as we don't eat strange meat for supper, Mr Myers a.k.a. Jonathan Savage's nephew," she said jokingly.

"Already so demanding. You can choose the place, as long as it's not a restaurant that sells red meat," I said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"It's a long story for another event," I said.

"Okay, how about that seafood restaurant that opened a few weeks ago right down the street?" she asked.

"Perfect, where do I pick you up?" I asked.

"I work until 5 o'clock. Then I have to run a few errands. At what time should I meet you there?" she asked.

"How about 7 pm?" I asked.

"Okay, see you tonight then," she reassured me.

"I'll see you then, bye," I said.

I walked out of the bookshop, flagged down a taxi and got in.

"Where to, Sir?" the driver asked.

"Home. 25 Salt street," I answered.

The entire trip home, it bothered me. I still can't believe that this book could be about her. How did this story start? I have to get home as soon as possible.

The taxi stopped at my house and I paid the driver. When I stepped into the house, the dark cloud that hung there this morning has faded away and life actually makes a little more sense now. I picked up the book and sat in my father's chair. I paged through it as fast as I could until I was at today's date.

'19 June 2011'

It was exactly written in the way things happened. From the piece that I read yesterday evening to drinking coffee in the bookshop. There were only a few differences in the conversations, but her actions were caught up in words on these pages. This book is a person's day to day actions captured on a page. Who knows when this part was written, but it happened exactly this way today. It seems so wrong. She is a puppet to the writer of this book.

I went through the things that already happened until I got to the rest of the day.

*********

Any person can see the excitement on Alazne's face after the man left. There formed a line of clients in front of Alazne, not that it was that busy in the bookshop, but she was working at a very slow pace. If you looked for her, you would find her somewhere on cloud number nine.

"Alazne, snap out of it," the manager, Brian, said.

Alazne didn't respond before Brian snapped his fingers in front of her.

"Alazne, are you okay?" Brian asked.

"Yes," she said smiling.

"You know, they say when a woman is in love, you can see it in her smile. Seems it's true. Who is he and where did you meet?" Brian asked.

"Uh, I ran him over with my car this morning," she said shyly.

"Oh my word. He must like you very much then, because that's enough to scare off any normal guy. I mean if I was that guy and I could still walk after that, I would get as far away from you as possible," Brian said jokingly.

"Go away, Brian," she said blushing.

"Well at least you know that he fell for you... hard... literally," he said chuckling.

"Whatever, I have clients to help," she said.

"At least you've got a date tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Sweet, as long as he knows not to mess with you," he said with a protective voice tone.

"I hope so," she said.

Brian was always very protective of Alazne. He is her best friend and she is like a sister to him.

*********

I put the book down and I went to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. I thought to myself how a book can control her life like this. It's impossible. For 20 years my feelings has been played with by other women and now I have to be a puppeteer? The last thing I want to do is to hurt her in this process, but to have this power over someone is what scares me. What will be the outcome if I lose control and abuse this power?

So events that are written in this book are going to happen tonight at the restaurant, but what if I change some of it? I must test this book to see how authentic it really is.

I made the coffee and took the book into the study. I took a pen, ready to change some of the events that was already written for tonight.

*********

It's 6:10 pm and the bookshop is still busy. The shop closed at 5 pm, but they have to wait until the last client leaves and she is being held up by a client casually browsing through some books.

"Alazne, come here," Brian said.

"Yes?" she asked.

"At what time is your date?" he asked.

"7 o'clock," she said.

"Well, then you'll have to go," he said.

"Yes, I'm just waiting for the last client to leave," she said.

"Forget about her. I'll help her. Go and enjoy your evening," he said while he removed her from the front desk.

"Thanks, Brian. You are the best," she said while running out to her car.

She drove to her apartment and got ready for the date. Alazne took a taxi to the restaurant. It was 6:55 pm and the gentleman was waiting for her at a table. She made her entrance. Dressed in red, hair hanging down her back, red lips smiling so freshly... and she is wearing high heels. She walked up to the table and he stood up.

"Hi," she said smiling.

"Hi to you too," he said while he came around the table.

"You remembered your shoes tonight," he said teasingly.

"Oh, you noticed. You just caught me on a bad day," she said shyly.

He pulled out the chair and she sat down.

"Just so you know, you have beautiful feet," he complimented her while he was making his way to his chair.

"Thanks, I really like my feet too," she said smiling.

The waiter made his way to their table.

"My name is Ashley, I'll be your waiter tonight. So can I get you something to drink?" he asked.

Alazne looked at the menu.

"We'll have a bottle of wine?" he asked.

"Yes, sweet rosé," she said.

"And something to eat?" the waiter asked.

"Um," he said.

"Will you give us a few more minutes?" she asked.

"Sure," the waiter said and left them alone.

*********

It is getting rather late so I'll have to conclude this. There is a small open space after the line that I read and this is where I'm going to edit this book.

*********

Alazne's phone rang. She looked annoyed by the phone.

"You can answer it," he said.

"Alazne, hello," she answered.

"Okay, I'll be there over 5 minutes," she said and dropped the call.

She looked at him.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. Brian's key does not want to lock the shop's door. He asked me to bring my key. I'll be back in 20 minutes," she said.

Alazne left to help Brian and returned after approximately 20 minutes.

*********

It was not neatly written and it was crammed into a tight space, but it was good enough. I closed the book and got dressed for the occasion. After tonight, when the part that I added happens, I'll know if this book is really working in the way I suspect.

So yesterday nothing made sense and I wanted to give up. Today things started to make a little sense when I met Alazne. It is as if my father knew we would meet and maybe we are destined to be together, or that is what I assumed from the words he said. But how am I supposed to love someone that I must manipulate with a book to love me back?

Chapter 4

It's so quiet here at the restaurant. Only a few tables are occupied.

"A table for one?" a waiter asked.

"No, a table for two. I'm waiting for someone," I said.

"Okay right this way, Sir," the waiter said.

I sat at the table that he presented to me.

"Here are some menus. You can just give me a shout if you want to order something," the waiter said while handing me a menu and putting a menu at the other side of the table.

"Thank you," I said.

I sat there for a few minutes, browsing through the food and beverage menus before I felt the similar, but stronger, feeling that I felt this morning. An angel entered the door. Ice blue eyes still splashed with black eyeliner. Her lips still colored in with red lipstick. The raven black hair that was tied back this morning hangs free in her neck. She is wearing a red dress and high heels. I looked at her as she was walking towards the table. How can anyone put that beauty on paper? It's described in the book as something normal, but to see and feel this in person is something spectacular. I stood up when she was at the table.

"Hi," she said with a beautiful smile.

"Good evening. You look beautiful tonight," I said while I was walking to her on the other side of the table.

"Thank you," she said.

"At least you remembered your shoes tonight," I said teasingly.

"Oh, you noticed. You just caught me on a bad day. I can't drive with shoes. It is just so uncomfortable," she said shyly.

I took out the chair and let her sit down.

"Just so you know, you have beautiful feet," I complimented her while I was walking to my side of the table.

"Thanks, I really like my feet too," she said smiling and laughing.

The waiter made his way to our table.

"My name is Ashley, I'll be your waiter today. So can I get you something to drink?" he asked.

Alazne looked at the menu.

I reminded myself to test the book and what better way than changing the conversations that is supposed to take place.

"Let's see. You have champagne, wine, whiskey, vodka. But I'll have a bubble gum milkshake. Double thick. With one of those spiral straws. And I want a toy. What meal must I buy to get a toy? A kiddies meal perhaps?" I asked the waiter with a very serious look on my face.

Alazne and the waiter looked with shock and disbelief at me.

"What? What's wrong? I'm serious," I said.

They just stared at me, waiting for me to change my words. I burst out with laughter.

"I'm just messing with you. We'll have the bottle of wine, Alazne?" I asked.

"Yes, sweet rosé," she said.

"And something to eat?" the waiter asked.

"Um," I said.

"Will you give us a few more minutes?" she asked.

"Sure," the waiter said.

The waiter walked away.

"Full of jokes tonight?" she asked.

"Just keeping things fresh," I said.

Just as I wrote, Alazne's phone rang. She took the phone and just looked at it.

"You can answer it," I said.

"No, it's not important," she said hesitating.

"Nonsense, maybe it's an emergency. Answer," I said smiling.

"Okay," she said.

"Alazne, hello," she answered.

"Okay, I'll be there over 5 minutes," she said and dropped the call.

She looked at me as if she didn't want to leave.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. Brian's key does not want to lock the shop's door. He asked me to bring my key. I'll be back in 20 minutes," she said.

She stood up and took her handbag.

"I'll wait for you," I said.

She looked at me and I could feel how she is fighting against the fact that she must leave.

"You know what? I'll call someone else to go and help him. The owner's daughter also has a key," she said while she dialed a number.

I was shocked, this is not what I wrote down. Not that I want her to leave, but she was supposed to leave.

"Hello, Louise. Brian's key is giving him trouble. Can you take your keys and lock the shop?" she said to the person on the phone.

"Yes, he's waiting there. Okay thank you so much. Bye bye," she said and dropped the call.

"Why did you decide to stay?" I asked.

"Someone else can help him. I want to stay here," she said.

"Okay, but I'm glad you stayed," I said.

She smiled at me and I felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It seems like I'm not fully in control of her life, she makes decisions herself also. Is her emotions also playing a part in the change of events?

The waiter came with the sealed bottle of rosé wine. He opened the bottle and poured our glasses half full.

"Have you decide what food you want to order?" the waiter asked.

"I'll have the tuna pasta and a little bit of calamari rings," Alazne said.

"Tuna pasta and calamari rings," the waiter mumbled while writing it down.

"Only a little bit, I'm watching my figure," Alazne said.

"Okay," the waiter said.

"I'll take the queen prawns special," I said.

"And one queen prawns special," the waiter mumbled while writing it down.

"Okay, I'll bring it as soon as it's ready," the waiter said before leaving.

Alazne took a sip of her wine.

"You said that you have to watch your figure, but you have a perfect body," I said.

"Yes, I don't want to gain extra weight. You know I must look good when I'm on that stripper stage, pole dancing," she said teasingly.

"Oh, yes and I forgot to ask the waiter for a hatchet or a dagger," I said teasingly while looking around where the waiter is.

She started laughing.

"Well no need for that, they already left me a steak knife," I said while taking the steak knife out of the napkin.

"This is not a dagger but it'll do the job," I said smiling.

She continued laughing.

"You know, you are funny," she said.

"Thank you," I said while putting my hand on my chest as if I'm a performer taking a bow after a successful act.

"It's so weird that they still give us steak knives, but they don't sell steak here," she said.

"Oh, thank heavens for that," I said.

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

"It's a long story. And not a good table conversation," I said.

"Come on, tell me," she said.

"Promise that you'll eat after hearing that?" I asked.

"Wow, is it that bad?" she asked.

"Yes, maybe even worse than that," I said.

"Okay, but you can tell me. I promise," she said.

"All right, but I'll just lighten the story a little bit. Basically in my line of work you see some gruesome events. One time this person was trapped in a car that was on fire. Unfortunately the person burnt to death. So for me that smells exactly like grilled steak and it reminds me of that. That's all that I'm going to say regarding that," I said.

"Wow, I can imagine. Thanks for not going in too much detail," she said.

"You're welcome," I said smiling.

"Enough of that. So what's your story?" she asked.

"My story?" I asked.

"Yes, I work in a bookshop. I like stories," she said.

"Well, I don't think anyone has written about me. But I know a little bit of those bedtime stories parents usually tell their children. If that'll interest you?" I asked.

"Oh, I'll keep that in mind. When I was a little girl I loved bedtime stories," she said teasingly.

We chuckled and I saw how the look on her face got more serious by the second.

"No really. Tell me about yourself. No jokes this time," she said.

"Let's play a game called 20 questions. You ask me about myself and then I ask you about yourself," I suggested.

"Okay, what do your parents do for a living?" she asked.

"My parents are deceased," I said.

"My mom passed away when I was only 4. My dad passed away... yesterday," I said staring out of the window.

"I'm so sorry. What happened?" she asked concerned.

"He was ran over by a car. I was called out to the accident scene. He died in my arms," I said.

She gave me a shocked look.

"I guess that's one of the perks of being a paramedic," I said calmly.

"I'm sorry to hear about that," she said touching my hand.

I could feel how her touch can heal the cut marks inflicted by the scythe of death.

"Thank you for your sympathy," I said.

For a brief moment silence intervened in our conversation, but we communicated through body language.

"You know you get sympathy and empathy, right?" she asked.

"Pardon?" I asked.

"How do you know it's sympathy?" she asked.

"Oh, I just assumed. It feels like you went through something similar," I said, knowing in the back of my mind what I read in the book.

"It is actually half sympathy and half empathy," she said.

"Why so?" I asked.

"I don't like talking about this, but I feel that I can be honest with you. My parents died the night right before the morning that I was born. I never knew them, my aunt and uncle is like a mother and a father to me. That's why I say it's half sympathy and half empathy," she said.

"Do you miss them?" I asked.

"Yes... well sometimes. I would have really liked to know how and who they were. All that I hear is stories, but the satisfaction stories will bring you can only go so far," she said.

"I guess at the end of the day we all have our angels and demons," I said.

"Mmm, behind all the jokes there's a serious, deep minded person. I like," she said, relieving the pressure.

"Well, what's not to like about me," I joked.

"Wow, this restaurant just decreased rapidly in size. That ego is pushing me out of this building," she said smiling.

"You haven't seen anything yet," I said.

"Well hopefully I'll stick around to see more," she said.

"I hope so too," I said.

We briefly stared at each other until the waiter came with the 2 plates of food.

"Well there you go, enjoy the food," the waiter said before he walked away.

Alazne grabbed a calamari ring with her fingers and ate it.

"Mmm, sorry for my hands. I just love calamari rings," she said.

"No, it's okay. I don't mind," I said.

Alazne ate all the calamari rings.

"So why a paramedic?" she asked.

"Well, I always wanted to be a hero. But the chances of me being in some kind of scientific experiment or being blessed with some kind of power is only possible when you are dreaming. So I chose to be a paramedic," I said.

"Has it ever bothered you? Other than the steak incident. The things that you saw?" she asked.

"No, I've been a paramedic for almost 5 years. At first it never bugged me, but lately I've been getting nightmares. I think it's time for a change. But what about you, why a teller at a bookshop?" I asked.

"Well, it is in the direction where I want to go. I want to start my own publishing company," she said.

"So that's why you defined the difference between sympathy and empathy?" I asked.

"Yes, I am kind of what people will call a 'grammar nazi'," she said.

"I thought so. But that's a very good choice as line of work," I said.

"And you? What is your big change going to consist of?" she asked.

"It'll show in the near future," I said.

"I hate waiting," she said.

"Well forgive me for that, but good things takes time," I said.

"Good answer," she said smiling.

We finished our food almost at the same time. Alazne sipped the last wine from her glass.

"Must I get the check?" I asked.

"Yes, that's if you are finished," she said.

"Yes, I'm finished," I said with hand in the air for the waiter to see.

"Yes, Sir?" the waiter asked.

"Can you bring the check please?" I asked.

"Certainly," the waiter said.

I stared in Alazne's eyes that stared back at mine.

"Are we playing the staring game now?" she asked.

"If you're up for it. I'm actually good at this game," I said.

"Oh yeah?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm a world champion at this game," I said.

She chuckled.

"As if something like that exists," she said.

"Oh yes. I am the holder of a few records. I have the gold championship belt to prove it," I said before I blinked.

"I won, I won. You blinked," she said.

"I can blink if I need to. The rules are if you look away you're disqualified," I said defending.

"That record that's held by you must be for the shortest time ever," she said teasingly.

"Okay, okay. I'll show you how a champion does it," I said.

"So you're ready to lose again?" she asked.

"This round it's high stakes. Winner takes all," I said.

"Name the rewards," she said.

"Okay, if you lose, you pay for dinner. If you win, you'll also pay for dinner," I said.

"Hey that's not fair," she said.

"What? It's a win win situation," I said.

"Yes, win win in your favor. No, the rewarding will be fair. If I lose I'll pay for dinner. When you lose, not if... when... you lose, you'll pay for dinner," she said.

"When? That hurt. But it sounds fair. Let the games begin," I said.

We stared at each other for a while without blinking. I could feel how my eyes started burning and I tried to make her laugh by pulling faces. She only smiled a little bit.

"Here's the bill, Sir," the waiter said.

"Thank you. Just put it there... somewhere," I said while pointing at the table.

"Okay..." the waiter said in a voice tone that sounded like he thought we were insane.

"Have a nice evening," the waiter said before walking away.

By now I could feel how tears are running down my cheeks because of my dry eyes.

"Wait let me ask the waiter for some cello tape or isolation tape. So that I can paste it over my eyelids," I said.

I could hear how she giggled softly and tried to suppress it. The need became too intense and I blinked.

"Oh yeah!" Alazne celebrated jumping up from her chair.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Alazne as if she was crazy. A slow blush crept over her face and she sank slowly back onto her chair.

"You know red tomatoes should be in the fridge," I said.

"And you should pay the bill," she reminded me.

"Oh, yes I almost forgot," I said before getting up from the chair.

Alazne followed my lead and also got up.

We proceeded to the till and I paid. We walked to the parking lot.

"So, I guess I should go home," she said smiling.

"Do you really want to go home, right now?" I asked.

"Yes, I am working tomorrow," she said.

"Okay, I'll take you home," I offered.

"Sounds good," she said.

We got in the car and I followed her directions. I stopped the car when we arrived at her apartment.

"Just wait a second, do not get out immediately," I said.

I walked to her side of the car and opened the door for her.

"Thank you," she said as she got out of the car.

"So," she said.

I smiled at her.

"Well, this is me," she said.

"We must do this again," I said.

"Surely we must. Here's my number," she said before handing me a piece of paper.

"I'll call you," I said.

"You better. Well goodnight and thank you for tonight," she said, giving me a hug.

"You're welcome. Goodnight," I said.

I got back in the car and went home. When I entered the house The Book Keeper was placed neatly on the coffee table in the living room. As far as I can remember I left it on the floor, but it can be possible that I put it on the table in my rush to the restaurant.

I went to bed with thoughts filling my head. There is no antidote for me to keep my thoughts away from the book. So much power in a few words, black on white. I always saw life as a candle that is burning until the wind blows it out or until it burns out, who thought it would actually be resembled by a book. It makes me wonder how and where this originated. Is it something supernatural? Is it something that came from outer space maybe? What is it and how does it work?

Chapter 5

My alarm clock woke me at 8 am. I got up, got dressed and proceeded to the front door. Today's activities will consist of a trip to a property agent, a trip to the bank and then a visit to Alazne at the bookshop. I proceeded to the property agent.

A board reading 'Kennedy Properties' greeted me as I parked in front of a two story building. I walked into the building.

"Good morning, how can I help?" the receptionist asked.

"Hello, is Victor Kennedy here?" I asked.

"Yes, Sir. Let me call him," she said as she picked up her phone and dialed a number.

"He will be with you now. You may have a seat," she said.

"Okay, thank you," I said before I sat down on the couch.

"You are welcome," she said.

A man dressed in a black suit and red tie entered the room.

"Good day, Sir. My name is Victor Kennedy," the man said while holding his hand out for a handshake.

"Matthew Myers," I said after I got up and I accepted his handshake.

"You can follow me, Mr Myers," Victor said while walking to his office.

Victor opened the door labeled as '19' and walked in and held the door open for me.

"Please come in and sit down," he said while presenting a chair at the desk.

I walked into the room, Victor closed the door behind me and I sat on the chair.

"So how can we help you today, Mr Myers?" he asked while sitting down on the chair other side of the desk.

"My father was here a few weeks ago. He spoke to you about the lighthouse," I said.

"Evan Myers, yes," he said.

"Well, is the property still available?" I asked.

"Yes, it surely is," he said.

"Okay, I'd like to buy it. I can make a transfer as soon as the funds are available," I said.

"Good. We'll let our attorneys set up a contract," he said.

"Thank you," I said.

"Are you sure about this purchase?" he asked.

"Never been more sure," I said.

"Okay, well a pleasure doing business with you. Here are our banking details," he said as he handed me a paper.

"All right thank you," I said.

We walked out and I proceeded to my car. I started the car and drove to the bank.

The bank was very quiet. There were only 2 people in front of me at the inquiries counter. A woman with short brown hair, dressed formally was helping clients. I stood there for approximately 5 minutes before I was at the front of the line.

"Good day, Sir. How may we help you today?" the woman behind the counter asked.

"Good day, I need to unlock my fixed term savings plan," I said while I gave her my card.

"Certainly," she said.

She started typing on her computer.

"I'll have to send the request through for our head office to unlock the funds," she said.

"So when is the funds going to be available in my account?" I asked.

"The process takes about 3 business days," she said.

"Okay, that's fine," I said.

"All right what is the reason for unlocking the funds?" she asked.

"I'm buying property," I said.

"Okay, I'm almost finished," she said.

"Okay," I said.

"And... I'm done. You will receive a notification once the funds are unlocked." she said.

"All right, thank you," I said.

"You are welcome. Is there anything else I can help you with?" she asked.

"No, that will be all thank you," I said.

"Thank you, Sir, and enjoy the rest of your day," she said while returning my card.

"Thanks enjoy your day too. Goodbye." I said.

"Thank you, Sir. Goodbye," she said.

I walked out of the bank and decided that it was time for a visit to Alazne. I proceeded to the bookshop. The smell of coffee greeted me as I walked into the bookshop. My eyes searched for Alazne, but there was only a man behind the counter.

"Hello. Welcome to the Grim bookshop. How can I help?" the man asked.

"Hello, I'm actually looking for someone," I said.

"And who might that be?" he asked.

"Alazne. Alazne Duncan," I said.

"Is this a casual visit or do you want to buy books?" he asked.

"A casual visit," I said confused.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm sorry where is my manners," I said.

"Who the hell are you and what do you want with her?" he asked hostile.

"My name is Matthew Myers," I said.

The man flew around the counter and rushed aggressively towards me.

"You better leave," he said pointing his finger at me.

"What's your problem, man?" I asked.

"I warned her against people like you a long time ago. She went through so much in her life and things just started to look better again until you came along," he said.

"What happened to her?" I asked concerned.

"As if you don't know. Why did you do it? Was it just for the fun of it?" he asked.

"What!?" I asked frustrated.

"Leave! Before I call the police! Leave!" he yelled.

I walked out of the bookshop confused as a chameleon on a rainbow. I don't know what is going on. But I fear for what might have happened to her. I must get answers somewhere, but I'm surely not going to get it from the man working at the bookshop.

I got in the car wondering where to go next. I dialed her number, but all I heard was an instant voice mail. Fear is quickly building questions inside my head.

The things the man said lets me wonder if the worst may have happened. Is Alazne still alive?

Chapter 6

I felt the cold stare of the man even though he was not looking at me anymore. Apparently I am to blame. I should visit her apartment. Maybe I'll find her there or at least some clarity on the situation.

I knocked on her apartment door a few times, but no answer. The apartment next to her apartment opened and a woman walked out.

"Hello," I greeted.

She did not react.

"Hello, excuse me," I said.

She looked at me.

"Oh, hi," she said.

"The lady that lives here, Alazne? Where is she?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," she said curtly.

Who will be able give me an answer, I thought to myself.

"Okay, thank you," I said as my voice tone highlighted my hopelessness.

"Who are you?" she asked suspiciously.

"I'm a friend," I said.

"I heard people screaming her name early this morning. The ambulance was also here. They carried her out on a stretcher and sped away. I don't know what is wrong with her. This is the first time, for as long as I know her, that she got sick," she said.

"At which hospital is she?" I asked.

"They took her to the hospital, but I'm not sure if she may have been transferred. From what I saw things didn't look good," she said.

"Okay, thank you," I said rubbing my hand over my eyes out of frustration.

"You're welcome. And keep strong," she comforted.

I left the apartment building and proceeded to the hospital.

"Hello, Sir. How can I help?" the lady at the reception asked.

"Yes, this morning a young lady was rushed to this hospital. Alazne, Alazne Duncan," I said.

"Let me just check," the lady said while typing on her computer.

"Yes, she is in the ICU," she said.

"Can I see her?" I asked.

"What is the relation between you and her?" she asked.

"I'm a friend," I said.

"No sorry, but only family are allowed to see her," she said.

"Please, I need to see her," I said.

"Sorry, but I can't do that, Sir," she said.

"Can you at least tell me what happened to her?" I asked.

"No, unfortunately not. It is confidential," she said.

"Okay, thanks anyway," I said and stepped aside.

The person that was standing behind me walked to the front desk. As the receptionist looked down to type on her computer, I slipped in. I checked each and every board, that listed the patients at the door of the rooms in the hallway of the ICU, hoping to see her name on one of the boards. Finally at room B8 I found her name written in a red marker on the board. I went in and saw her lying on the hospital bed. Alazne is unconscious with an oxygen mask, a drip, a heart monitor and a few other machines connected to her. I sat on the chair next to her bed and held her hand. After a while a nurse walked into the room.

"Good morning," the nurse greeted friendly.

"Morning," I said without really registering.

"Only family is allowed in here," she said.

"Yes, I'm her brother," I said.

The nurse monitored the machines and wrote down the readings that she got in her file.

"What happened to her?" I asked.

"She was rushed to the hospital very early this morning. She had a heart attack," the nurse said.

"A heart attack? She is so young," I asked shocked.

"Yes, but thankfully the paramedics restarted her heart as soon as she went into cardiac arrest. They got there just in time," the nurse said.

"Has she been unconscious ever since?" I asked.

"Yes, from the shock she went into a coma. We are keeping her at rest so that she can recover and rebuild her strength," the nurse said calmly.

"Then why are all these machines connected to her?" I asked agitated.

"Just in case of an emergency," she said.

"Then why are the machines on? Is it an emergency already?" I asked.

"I don't want you to worry about the situation. We are doing everything we can," she said.

Out of experience I know some medical personnel prefer to hide the patient's real condition, because they want the family to stay calm. I did it myself in some situations.

"Come on tell me the truth, please. Don't hide the facts from me," I said.

"Alazne had another heart attack about an hour ago, but we restarted her heart. The doctors are not sure what is causing the heart attacks, because they found nothing unusual in the tests that was performed," the nurse said.

"But you are monitoring her, right? What have you found? Is her condition at least improving a little?" I bombarded the nurse with questions.

"We connected the machines to her after we restarted her heart. They are there to support her," she said.

"So... what you are telling me... is these machines... these machines are basically keeping her... alive," I said with a tone of anxiety in my voice.

I knew all the machines that was connected to her and I knew the machines were keeping her alive, but I just had to say it to release some pressure.

"Yes, she is on semi-life support," she said.

"This can't be happening," I said before I sighed and shook my head.

"I'm sorry, Sir. We are trying the best we can," she said while trying to comfort me with her hand on my shoulder.

"You said that already," I said frustrated.

Suddenly I felt confused. It feels like I have been absent from life for a few weeks. There must have been time that passed in between what I assume was yesterday and today. How could one tragedy follow another so quickly? At this stage my life feels like a game – going from one point to the next without any real reason.

"What is today?" I asked.

"Sir?" she asked confused.

"What day is today?" I asked.

"Thursday," the nurse said.

"Thursday, 20 June 2013?" I asked.

"Yes, Sir," she said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes," she said.

"Okay," I said.

"Sir, are you feeling all right?" she asked.

"I'm fine, thank you," I said while holding Alazne's hand tighter.

"Keep strong, Sir," she said before walking out of the room.

Helplessness and hopelessness, are the alpha and omega of my life right now. It feels as if I can rip my skull open, pull my brain out and scratch where it itches, or I can beat the living hell out of it with the hope that the pain will become numb as my body is. I sat there next to her feeling how weightless the time is – desperate for a solution. The sun's heat is burning down on the Earth, it's already 3 pm and I keep reminding myself how happy I was yesterday at 3 pm. But today, may be the saddest moment in my life. Yes, the sun was sharing its warmth with all the living things in the world, but in and around me it is as cold as a stone – a winter within summer. My eye lids are fighting against gravity to stay open, but they are losing. I fell asleep in the chair, but with my head on the side of the bed, still holding her hand.

Chapter 7

'Life on the farm is a song,

La-la da-da la-la yee-haw,

At 6 in the morning I feed the pigs,

And all I hear is oink, oink, oink,

Life on the farm is a song,

La-la da-da la-la yee-haw,

At 7 in the morning I feed the cows,

And all I hear is moo, moo, moo,' all 30 students sang in our grade 1 class while our teacher, Mrs Evans, played the piano.

All of us sat on the fluffy carpet when we sang songs in her class. James and I always tried to sound exactly like animals when the song came to the different farmyard animal sounds. Some kids crawled around on the carpet trying to imitate the different animals. But I must say that James and my act were the best.

"La-la da-da la-la yee-haw," we all sang, forcing out our last breaths.

This time around this song made me feel like a real cowboy as we perfected the 'yee-haw' sound. I felt like it was time to play Cowboys and Indians.

"Okay class, back to your seats please," the teacher said.

I walked to the desk at the back of the classroom.

"Oh Matthew?" the teacher asked.

"Yes, Mrs Evans?" I asked.

"I want you to sit in front of the class today. I picked this story especially for you," she said.

"Okay," I said.

I always preferred to sit at the back of the class, but how could I decline if she chose the story especially for me?

"Okay class, today I'm going to read a story," she said.

Some kids jumped up out of excitement.

"The story's name is 'The Vulture and the Dove'," the teacher said.

The kids sat still and kept quiet as the teacher started reading.

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful white dove that enjoyed living a simple life. One day the dove was flying and enjoying the open air. While the dove was floating quietly in the air, between other pigeons and doves, she saw a vulture that joined the group. The vulture was neglected – he had spots that weren't covered by feathers, his beak had a small fracture, his feet were scarred and once in a while he dropped a few meters due to his wings not performing at their full potential. At least the vulture was not aggressive. The dove came closer and closer to the vulture. Just as the dove was about to pass under the vulture, the vulture dropped a few meters and the dove flew into the vulture," the teacher read.

All the kids were interested in the book.

"The dove composed herself, but the vulture kept falling. The dove went after the vulture and she struggled to help him. They crashed in a tree.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," the dove said.

The vulture was astonished by the pure beauty in front of him. It actually seemed he was injured by the accident.

"Please just say something," the dove cried.

"I'm fine," the vulture mumbled.

So that is how the beautiful white dove met the ugly scrawny vulture. They started seeing each other more and more as they got comfortable with one another. They fell in love. The once ugly vulture felt like the most beautiful bird in the world, all thanks to the dove's love. They were perfect together, it was a fairy tale coming true. But this was all cut short when the dove fell ill – she got an unfamiliar virus. The vulture visited her all the time," the teacher read as some of the children wiped their watery eyes.

Suddenly she stared at me. It was not any stare. It was one of those stares your mother would give you when she knew you did something wrong.

"Her lungs stopped! Her heart stopped! Her brain stopped! And she was declared dead," the teacher said, in a slow intense voice, without reading in the book.

I felt how my body started to grow rapidly into my grown out self.

"Others came from everywhere to mourn her," she said.

"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here to honor the memory of Alazne Duncan," the teacher said as I was frozen by sorrow.

"No! No! No!" I yelled as I jumped up from the chair.

"Yes! She died because of you. You are to blame," the teacher said.

"No, this can't be happening," I pleaded.

"Just take responsibility for your actions," she said.

The classroom disappeared and a tombstone rose in front of me with people mourning around it. 'In beloved memory of Alazne Duncan' was carved in the granite of the tombstone. Here I am attending another funeral of someone that started to mean something to me.

"You see what you did," a hostile voice said behind me.

I turned around and saw the angry man from the book shop.

"I warned her about people like you," he attacked.

"I didn't do anything," I defended.

"Of course you did. Just take responsibility for your..."

Suddenly I woke up. My lungs were expanding above its full potential to let enough air in. My clothes and body were drenched in sweat.

"It was just a nightmare," I said to myself.

I got up from the couch, boiled the kettle and made coffee.

I wonder where Alazne is. The last time I saw her she was in the hospital.

"Matthew?" a voice called.

I didn't reply because I didn't recognize the voice.

"Matthew? Where are you?" a voice called again.

I stood still and walked to the door of the kitchen.

"Matthew..." a woman said while she walked towards me.

"Alazne?" I asked with a smile of relief.

"Yes, it's me," she said.

"When did they discharge you?" I asked.

"Discharged? From where?" she asked.

"The hospital? You had a heart attack, remember? What was exactly wrong? Why were you in the hospital in the first place?" I asked.

"Are we playing 20 questions again? Because you just cheated by asking 4 consecutive questions. Calm down," she said smiling.

What is going on? Have I been dreaming all this time? Was the entire hospital event part of a dream?

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Slow down with all the questions. Oh, I want to show you something," she said before she walked out of the kitchen.

"Wait, I asked you a question," I said as I followed her immediately.

She opened the study door and walked in.

"No wait, you can't go in there," I said running after her.

I just hope she doesn't see The Book Keeper. I must prevent her from reading it. How will anyone react if they found out a book is about them?

"Don't..." I said when I saw her in the study.

The study door closed after I walked in. I tried to open the door, to go out, but it was locked. I was surrounded by books. All 4 walls were covered by shelves of books. From books my father collected to books he wrote. The Book Keeper was crammed in between other books of my dad. I took it out, placed it on the desk and paged through it. I stopped at today's date, '20 June 2011'.

*********

Alazne woke up this morning, ready for the day that lies ahead. As usual she drank a cup of coffee, stared at herself in the mirror for a while, got dressed, but put a little more effort into her makeup and appearance. She clearly wanted to look at her best when she meets him again. She took a taxi to work instead of her 'Draven Master'. Maybe she was scared of running another person over, who knew?

Business was quiet at the book shop. Every minute that passed felt like an hour for her. The sun rose in the east, followed its usual pattern and hurried up to set in the west. It was almost 4 pm in the afternoon when he walked into the book shop.

"Good afternoon," he said.

"Hello, how are you?" she asked.

"Good and you?" he asked.

"Good thank you," she said.

"I just popped in to ask you if you'd like to join me for a picnic?" he asked.

"When?" she asked.

"How about tonight?" he asked.

"Okay, sounds good," she said.

"Okay, I'll pick you up at 7?" he asked.

"Okay," she said.

He walked out of the book shop and she couldn't help but to smile.

*********

The desk lamp died and I was left in complete darkness. Suddenly a light cut through the darkness that flooded the room. The light shined through the opening of where I removed The Book Keeper from the shelf. I walked towards the shelf and looked through the opening. Initially I was blinded by the strong light, but my eyes soon got used to the strong light. I saw Alazne standing in the brightest place I have ever seen. She waved at me.

"Aren't you coming?" she asked smiling.

"Where to?" I asked in disbelief.

"Outside. I'm waiting for you," she said.

I walked to the door, but just as I twisted the doorknob all the books fell onto me. I was knocked unconscious by all the books.

When I opened my eyes I was lying on my back, on a blanket, staring at the stars. I sat upright and saw Alazne sitting in front of me. We had a few candles providing only the most necessary light and some snacks in a picnic basket.

"Did you enjoy your nap?" she asked smiling.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You told me you are going to take a power nap," she said.

"No, not here," I said.

"Where then?" she asked.

"To me? In the study?" I asked.

"When?" she asked.

"Just a moment ago?" I asked.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," she said.

"The books fell on me," I said.

She looked extremely confused. This time around it really feels like the real deal. At last I am awake.

"Was I dreaming?" I asked.

"You must have been," she said.

"Oh, well it felt so real," I said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"No, it's okay. I'm just glad you are here with me," I said.

I saw in her smile that she was happy again, which is a good thing considering all the things she went through lately. We sat there and ate some small sandwiches. Alazne ate calamari rings and she fed me a few.

"The way the candles light your face makes you even more beautiful. And just yesterday I thought to myself that something can't be more beautiful. Once again you proved me wrong," I said.

She stared at me and responded with a smile. I blew out the candles. We lay next to each other on the blanket just staring at the stars together.

"What wish will you make upon a shooting star?" she asked.

"Now I can't tell you that," I said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because then it won't come true," I said.

She chuckled and smiled.

The stars began disappearing very quickly.

"Well, I'll tell you my wish anyway. My wish is..." she said before she was interrupted by a raindrop falling in her eye.

Suddenly it started raining and it escalated rapidly into a rainstorm. It had us running for the car. We got into the car and I drove to my house. We walked in.

"Can I use your hair dryer?" she asked.

"Sure," I said and I showed her the way to the guest room.

I went back to the living room and lied down on the couch. It was not long after I slipped away into a dream about my grade 1 class again.

Suddenly I snapped out of it. I found myself sitting next to Alazne and still holding her hand. An unknown man walked into the room with a red rose in his hand. With a straight face he held the rose out to me.

"Do I know you?" I asked.

He didn't reply.

What are you doing in my house?" I asked

Still he didn't reply.

"What? What do you want?" I asked.

There wasn't even a sound coming from the man. He kept a straight face and brought the rose closer to me. Out of frustration I grabbed the rose out of his hand. The rose turned black and the red rose's blood streamed down my hand. The rose pedals started to fall out.

"What is this?" I asked when I threw the rose down.

The man's straight face disappeared and my father appeared in his place.

"Dad?" I asked.

"Yes, it's me. Did you do what I asked of you?" he asked.

"What is that?" I asked.

"You have to... wake up. Wake up. Wake up," he said.

Everything around me began to fade away. His voice even started to change. The only sounds I heard was a voice telling me to wake up and a heart monitor screeching the sound it makes when a heart stopped beating. I was shaken until I woke up.

"Wake up. Wake up, Sir," the nurse said.

The first thing I saw was the heart monitor displaying a long thin line and screeching that horrible sound. There were 2 nurses attending to Alazne and another nurse trying to wake me up.

"Wake up, Sir," she said.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"You have to wake up," she said.

"Is this also a dream?" I asked.

"No, you are wide awake. Come with me," she said before she led me out of the room.

She closed the door behind us.

"One. Two. Three. Clear!" I heard a nurse yelling from inside the room.

"Was I asleep this entire time?" I asked.

"Yes. Why don't you go home, Sir. Get some sleep," the nurse suggested.

"How am I supposed to sleep with this happening? Is there anything new?" I asked.

"The doctors are still running tests. We are restarting her heart at the moment," she said.

I sighed.

"Go home, Sir," she said.

"And then? What if I come back and her condition is even worse? What is next?" I asked before sitting down and holding my head tightly.

"Sir, we are trying the best we can. Go and rest," she said.

"I'm not leaving until I know she is fine," I said.

Just as I stopped talking, the other nurse came out of the room.

"She's fine again. Her heart is beating again," she said.

The worst feeling in the world is willing and wanting to help someone, but knowing that you can't help them. It is like lying numb on the ground and not being able to move a muscle.

"Okay, please let me know if there's anything new," I said as I got up and walked towards the exit.

It's funny how the irony of my life keeps coming back. My thoughts re-winded back again to my paramedic call-outs. I also told people that I had the situation under control or I'm trying my best while I knew I was helpless. It is sad that those few words became the substitution to 'your loved one is not going to make it'.

I sat on the couch – numb, broken, helpless, hopeless and alone. Why do we bring people close to us? Is it not in the end better to be alone?

Chapter 8

I heard a saying once that said dreams are very powerful and sometimes they may have a figuratively meaning to it. But what do all these dreams I dreamed have in common? Is there any meaning to them or was it just a normal nightmare? My grade 1 teacher read a horrific story and blamed me for Alazne that passed away – I still get the shivers just thinking about it. Then there was nothing wrong with Alazne and I was trapped, while reading events in The Book Keeper, in the study with books tumbling on me. After that we had a picnic as if nothing was wrong and I fell asleep on the couch just to repeat the dream about my grade 1 class. What was I supposed to do for my father? Suddenly I saw what the dreams had in common – The Book Keeper – appeared in all of them. I immediately went to the study and opened The Book Keeper on today's date. All I found was a blank page. Dad told me to write every day. Can her mystery illness be the consequence of not writing in the book? I guess there is only one way to find out. I started writing on today's blank page.

*********

20 June 2011

The rain of the evening before was sucked up by the sun until the land was dry, because an angel called Alazne did not wake up this morning. She lay there on her bed eyes wide shut. Suddenly the screaming of her cell phone slashed through the deadly silence. The caller identity of the cell phone, identified the number as Brian. Even through the noise she still did not respond. The cell phone stopped ringing and the ruckus surrendered for silence to reign supreme. The grim reaper likes to work in silence, death likes silence. Once again the sounds of dead air were interrupted by a brutal pounding on her apartment door.

"Alazne! Alazne! Are you here?" Brian's voice fought with the silence.

There was no response from inside the flat. Nothing but silence.

"Alazne! Alazne! Are you here?" Brian's voice again fought with the silence.

But again the room responded with silence. Suddenly there was a loud bump against the door, followed by a second bump against the door and then a third bump had the door swinging wide open. Brian kicked the door open. He saw Alazne lying on the bed.

"Alazne! Alazne!" he said while running towards her.

"Wake up. Wake up," he said while shaking her.

The paramedics, which Brian called on his way to Alazne, arrived.

"Come on. Wake up," he said still trying to wake her by shaking her.

"Please step aside, Sir. We have this," one of the paramedics said.

The other paramedic fetched the defibrillator from the ambulance in order to restart her heart. As soon as he put the paddles on her chest the dull screeching of a non responsive heart filled the air.

"Ready. Clear!" the paramedic said loudly while pressing the buttons on the paddles.

Alazne's body rattled in the hands of the high volts that was being pumped through her body. But there was no response from her heart, not even one beat.

"We are not going to lose her over here. One more time," the paramedic said.

"Ready. Clear!" he said loudly while pressing the buttons on the paddles.

Again Alazne's entire body rattled in the hands of the high volts being pumped through her body. But again there was no response.

"It's not..." the paramedic said before he was interrupted by a sudden, but short beep noise.

Alazne's heart started beating as normal again, but she was still unconscious. The paramedics sighed with relief. Brian fell on his knees on the floor, maybe he was saying a prayer of relief.

"We have to get her to the hospital," the paramedic said.

The paramedics fastened her to a stretcher, placed her in the ambulance and sped away. Brian followed them to the hospital. The paramedics communicated with the hospital personnel on their way to the emergency section. As the ambulance stopped at the hospital, there were already nurses waiting for the new patient. They placed her on a hospital bed and took her into the hospital.

"Do blood tests and monitor her condition the entire time," the head nurse said.

They pushed the bed to the intensive care unit. Soon she was connected to an oxygen mask, a heart monitor and a drip. A few other life support machines were also standing by her bed for emergency purposes. It is not a beautiful sight to know all the little tubes, wires and needles are supporting her to live life. Every half an hour she was examined by a different doctor, each one hoping they know a little more than the previous doctor who examined her. One doctor blamed it solely on the silent killing heart attack. While others blamed it on something else. But not one of them was sure, not one of them could prove anything. It was only a bunch of conspiracies. Unfortunately later in the morning she got another heart attack and her heart stopped, but thankfully the nurses had the defibrillator near them and succeeded in restoring the force in her heart. Fearing for the worst for Alazne, the nurses began to connect machine after machine in order to minimize damage to the heart muscle. Somewhat later in the day Matthew visited her at the hospital. There was a helpless and hopeless look on his face. He told the receptionist that he was looking for Alazne Duncan. The receptionist told him that she was being treated in the intensive care unit and only family are allowed to see her. Out of pure desperation he slipped past the reception and began a long search for her name against the boards next to the rooms' entrances. After a while of searching he found her name on the board of room B8. But he did not only find Alazne in the room. He found pure fear, fear of losing the only thing in his life that really makes sense and fear of losing someone that chases his fears away. The stink smell of disinfecting agents overwhelmed the sweet smell of her hair, body, lips and love. He entered the room and sat next to her bed on the wood chair. He held her hand tightly almost as if he was trying to wake her up from the coma. A nurse came into the room to write down the results from the machines and to take a few blood tests. She told him that only family is allowed in the room. He replied by telling her that he is her brother. The nurse told the hopeless and helpless face that they were doing everything they can, but they still didn't find the real problem yet. He sat there next to her as the clock hands passed each other several times, but for him it felt like the hand that indicates the seconds was moving as slow as the hour hand. Except for the nurse doing her scheduled check ups on Alazne, silence and stillness were the only noises and actions made by him and Alazne. He just sat there with his eyes wide open, wondering if he ever blinked his eyes. Anybody would have been able to see how tired he was. His eyes became heavier until he slipped into dream land. He just sat there next to her bed, resting his head on the side of the bed and still holding her hand – sleeping. Half an hour passed and the nurse that checked up on Alazne woke the man with a 'wake up, wake up' chant. Alazne suffered another heart attack, but this one was the third and last heart attack she will ever get. As he looked up his eyes burned and his ears hurt by the heart monitor's ugly sound and devilish display. They succeeded in restarting her heart for another time. The nurse told him that he should go home and get some rest. After some hesitation he agreed to the idea and he drove to his home. The nurse connected Alazne to more life support machines, because of Alazne's current predicament. At that moment it seemed as if her life hanged on a few wires.

About an hour after he left, Brian came to visit her. He spoke a little to Alazne, but suddenly her fingers started to move. Brian ran out of the room.

"Come quick, she moved. She moved her fingers," he said to a nurse.

They ran to the room, but Alazne was lying still as before.

"There was movement," Brian said.

"It's normal for something like that to happen," the nurse said as she walked out of the room.

Brian stood with his back to Alazne, clearly frustrated with the situation. His frustration was cut short by the heart monitor's screeching indicating that her heart has stopped. Brian looked at the long thin line the heart monitor was displaying.

"Nurse! I need a nurse!" Brian called.

The nurse came running into the room.

"What hap..." the nurse said before they were both left without words.

Alazne sat upright. She had ripped off the heart monitor's leads from her chest.

"Wait. You can't sit up straight yet. Lie down," the nurse said.

Alazne lied down and the nurse went to call a doctor.

"What happened to me?" Alazne asked.

"You called me at about 2 in the morning. You told me you were not feeling well. Can't you remember?" Brian asked.

"Yes, but that is the last thing I can remember," she said.

"When I arrived at your apartment you were unconscious. I had to kick the door in to get to you. Thankfully I called the paramedics while I was on my way to you. I was so worried," he said.

"So what happened exactly? Because I can just remember feeling extremely dizzy and as if all my energy was sapped out of me," she said.

"The paramedics said you had a heart attack," Brian said.

"A heart attack of all things? As far as I know my heart is very healthy and I never had any problems with stress or clogged up arteries," she said shocked.

"Apparently it was not only one heart attack," Brian said looking down.

"What? How many then?" she asked.

"In total you had 3 heart attacks," Brian said.

Alazne laughed it off and shook her head.

"So, what does the doctor say? What is causing these problems?" she asked.

"Well the thing is, the doctors doesn't even know what the problem is. They suspect it is some kind of a new virus. I think they say that mainly because they don't have an explanation for this," he said.

"Wow, yesterday on my date with Matthew I was as fit as a fiddle, this morning I'm suddenly sick and now... now I'm fine," she said.

"It is funny how quickly things can happen," he said.

"Yes, it is. Just one date with Matthew and my heart is already broken. But I guess it is a good type of broken if I can be up so quick," she said chuckling.

Brian chuckled and Alazne had a confused look on her face.

"What is today's date?" Alazne asked.

"20 June. Why?" Brian asked.

"2013?" she asked.

"Yes, why?" he asked.

"Oh, thank goodness. For a moment I thought I was in a coma for a long time," she said.

Brian just smiled and laughed. The doctor entered the room and examined her.

"So how are you feeling, Alazne," the doctor said before holding her pulse with his index and middle finger.

"I guess I'm fine, Doctor. There's nothing wrong as far as I know," she said.

He took his fingers off her pulse, took out a small torch light and switched it on.

"Look into the light, please," he said before shining it in her eyes.

Alazne stayed still while he checked what there was to see in both of her eyes.

"Do you have any pain anywhere?" the doctor asked.

"No, well to tell you the truth, my eyes actually hurts after that experience with the torch light," she said.

The doctor just responded with a smile, took out her file and paged through it.

"Well, it's the first time I experienced something like this and I still don't know what the problem was, but it seems that you are all fine now. It seems like a real miracle," he said holding her file in his hands.

"So can I go home now?" she asked.

"I'll have to give you that answer after a few more tests. We'll have to monitor everything, especially your heart rate," the doctor said.

"Okay," she said sighing.

"I'll quickly call your brother to let him know you are awake," the nurse said.

"My brother?" Alazne asked as the nurse walked out of the room.

"What is she talking about, Brian?" Alazne asked.

"I have no idea. Look at the time. I have to go. Will you let me know what happens?" Brian asked.

"Yes, I will," she said.

"Okay, rest now," he said.

"Yes yes. I'll rest the 'so sick' me," Alazne said chuckling.

Brian said goodbye with a hug.

"Bye," he said before walking out of the room.

"Goodbye," she said.

*********

I looked at my cellphone waiting for it to ring. I hope things will happen the way I wrote. Or is it too late?

Chapter 9

"Okay, Alazne. We need to do a brain scan," the doctor said.

"A brain scan? For what?" she asked.

"It is just part of procedure. We need to see if your brain is still functioning normally. Don't worry about it," the doctor said.

"Is that all you need to do?" she asked.

"No, we need to take some blood samples and test some of your vital organs. We need make sure of everything," the doctor said.

"Okay," she said sighing.

The 2 nurses pushed her bed down the hallway and into another room. Doctors performed their different tests on her. They did what they needed to do for her to be declared fit and so that she could be discharged as soon as possible.

*********

Still I am waiting for an important phone call from the hospital. I guess the only way I'll be able to find out if this is working, is to visit the hospital and see for myself. Writing a story about someone for them to keep on living still sounds like a fairy tale – simply not possible. But if I feel this way, why am I continuing? I guess you could say I believe in something. Even if it is sometimes a fairy tale.

*********

"Well, it is quite unbelievable, but it seems like you are absolutely fine," the doctor said with the results in his hand.

"Okay, thank you," Alazne said.

"I'll be back in about an hour. Then I'll be able to tell you if we can discharge you," he said.

"Okay, thank you, doctor," she said.

Alazne laid back and switch on the small television which was attached to the wall. She milked down the channels, but she found nothing interesting.

*********

The pen danced back and forth on the paper to the tune of silence. It was decorating the fragile white paper with a hard black color. But the tune of silence was soon interrupted by the slicing sound of a cell phone ringing. This must be it – my absolution.

"Hello," I answered the cell phone.

"Hello, can I speak to Matthew Myers?" a woman asked.

"Speaking," I said excited.

"Sir, I'm calling from Forever Alive Life Insurance. Can I have about 3 minutes of your time to explain to you how Forever Alive Life Insurance works?" she asked.

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked.

"It's 11 in the morning, why?" she asked.

"My watch says it's 6 in the evening," I said.

"Oh sorry, I think it's the wrong number. I just saw now I am actually looking for a Mr Myons," she said.

"Okay, it's fine. Bye," I said before I put the phone down.

The waiting slowly devoured me from inside. My screams for help quickly faded away in the silence. Once in a while the silence gives little way for my heartbeat to remind me I'm still alive and breathing. I picked up the pen, gripped it tightly between my fingers and started writing again.

After a while the cell phone rang again.

"Hello," I answered.

"Hello, can I speak to Mr Matthew March?" a woman's voice said.

"Look lady. You've dialed the wrong number again," I said frustrated.

"Um. I'm actually calling in regards with Alazne Duncan. I think you were here earlier, Sir," she said.

"Oh, yes. Sorry about that. I thought it was someone else. So is Alazne doing better?" I asked while I was still writing in the book.

"Yes, she is awake now and doing a lot better," she said.

I accelerated my writing process to stay ahead of reality.

"So she has been awake for a while already?" I asked.

"Yes, Sir," she said.

"Couldn't you let me know earlier? I was worried about her the entire time," I attacked.

"I'm sorry, Sir. We first had to wait for the test results to come back before we contact the patient's loved ones," the nurse said.

"Nurse can you do me a favor, please?" I asked.

"Yes, Sir?" she asked.

"Can you quickly check what she is doing now?" I asked.

"Um," she said confused.

"Please it is important," I said while I continued writing as fast as I could.

"Okay, I'll be back in a second. Please hold," she said.

"Thank you," I replied.

If the nurse can give me feedback I'll be able to determine where she is in the events of the book and how much I'll need to write to avoid another catastrophe from happening.

"Sir?" the nurse answered.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Miss Duncan is currently in her bed, watching television," the nurse said.

"Is she running through the channels trying to find something to interest her?" I asked.

The nurse kept silent for a while.

"Nurse?" I asked.

"Yes, she is," the nurse answered.

"So they already did the brain scans and all the other tests?" I asked.

"How do you know they were supposed to do brain scans?" the nurse asked suspiciously.

"A wild guess," I answered swiftly.

"Yes, they already did the tests they were supposed to do. The doctor said she will be discharged from the hospital in about an hour. Can we expect you soon?" the nurse asked.

"Yes, you can expect me in about an hour or less. I have some errands that require my attention first," I said.

"Okay, good," the nurse said.

"Thank you for letting me know," I said.

"You are welcome, Sir. Goodbye," she said.

"Bye bye," I greeted and terminated the call.

Finally the pressure of the world is off my shoulders, but unfortunately not all of it. So many things and time I'll need to sacrifice to write this book. I just hope it will not be in vain, because I will not be able to get that time back.

I continued writing in the book. There was some things that needed clarification.

*********

The nurse walked into Alazne's room. Alazne was watching a reality show on television.

"The doctor said I can take the drip off," the nurse said.

"Okay, that is good news," Alazne said.

The nurse took out the needle and gently placed a piece of cotton wool on the small wound.

"The nurse at the reception called your brother. He will be here soon to visit," the nurse said.

"My brother?" Alazne asked confused.

"Yes?" the nurse asked, focused on Alazne.

Questions lingered in Alazne's eyes.

"He was here this morning. I can't remember his name," the nurse said.

"Well that makes two of us," Alazne said.

"Pardon me?" the nurse asked.

"I didn't even know I had a brother," Alazne said.

"You have memory loss. We have to do more tests," the nurse said concerned.

"No no, that is surely not necessary. I was just joking I remember him now," Alazne said.

"Really?" the nurse asked.

"Yes yes. It's um... Miller Duncan," Alazne said.

"Like the famous wrestler, Miller ' The Thriller' Duncan?" the nurse asked.

"Yes, my uncle was a big wrestling fan. Man, we were naughty when we were kids. Miller once burned me with one of those car lighters. According to him that lighter wasn't hot. Some good times," Alazne said.

"That is some good memories," the nurse said smiling.

A while after the nurse left Alazne gave a sigh of relieve.

"I almost went for another brain scan. I still have no idea who Miller 'The Thriller' Duncan is," she whispered to herself.

Matthew walked into the room.

"Hello," he greeted.

"Hey!" she greeted friendly.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Okay and you?" she asked.

"I'm good," I said.

The doctor walked into the room.

"Miss Duncan," he said.

"Doctor?" she asked.

"We have some good news for you. You can go home now if you want to," the doctor.

"Thank goodness!" she said.

"But..." the doctor said.

"I knew there was a 'but'," she said.

"You must take your heart medication after every meal and I want to recommend that you don't stay alone tonight, maybe just have a friend or family member over. You never know if something can happen again," the doctor said.

"Okay," she said.

"Also. You need to come back next week for a follow up," he said.

"Good. Thank you doctor. May I leave now?" she asked.

"Yes, you are free to leave. Godspeed, Alazne," the doctor said.

The doctor left the room.

"So apparently I have to get a roommate for tonight," she said.

"Do you know anybody you trust?" I asked.

"I can ask Brian, but his flat is so small. It's going to feel like a can of sardines in there," she said.

"We can sort that out later. First I want to show you something. That is if you are up for it?" I asked.

"As long as I don't have to walk far or something like that? We don't want the ambulance to pick me up again for whatever reason," she said.

"No, you don't have too," I answered.

"Okay, then I'm up for it," she said smiling.

*********

I filled the rest of today's events for how I expected it to happen. After I finished writing I took the book back to the study and closed the door behind me. Some time has passed since I got the phone call. I proceeded to the hospital to embrace my angel of salvation.

Chapter 10

I arrived at the hospital – feeling like a little kid on the night before Christmas. The hospital's electronic doors opened automatically as I approached. A man exiting the hospital stopped at the door.

"What are you doing here?" a semi familiar voice asked.

I looked at the man and saw it is the hostile man from the bookshop – Brian. The fire and anger in his eyes from earlier today is a bit calmer now.

"I'm here to check up on Alazne," I said.

He nodded slightly, but it was not a nod of approval.

"I just want to check if she is doing fine, that's all," I said.

"Just so you know, I'll be here later to take her home. She already agreed to it," he said defensively.

"Okay, good to know," I said.

"So you better not do something bad to her again," he said.

"Who said I did something bad to her?" I asked.

"Well let's look at it this way. For about 5 years she has never been sick, then you showed up and suddenly she finds herself in the hospital," he attacked.

I shook my head and walked into the hospital.

"Hey! Don't turn your back on me while I'm talking to you, you scum," he yelled.

I turned towards him, irritated out of my skin.

"Listen, whatever your opinion is about me... I simply don't care, because I don't have to prove myself to you," I attacked back.

"I feel you do," he said.

"Okay. So I'll prove myself. It's fine. I'll do that for you. But you have to do me a favor as well," I said.

"And what might that be?" he asked.

"Stay the hell out my way," I said leaning in towards him.

Brian stepped back a little.

"Well, it was nice conversing with you. Have a good day, Brian," I said.

"How do you know my name?" he asked.

"I know a lot of things," I said before turning around and walking away.

"I'm still picking her up tonight! If you like it or not!" he called out as I walked away.

I did not react on his comment.

"Good evening, Sir," a different nurse, from this morning, greeted as I walked to the reception.

"Good evening," I greeted.

She smiled at me.

"Yes, I'm here to see my sister, Miss Duncan," I said.

"Yes, Sir. They moved her to room G4," the nurse said.

"Okay, thank you," I said and walked to the rooms.

The hospital was quiet, but I stopped as soon as I reached room G4. I stood against the wall next to the door.

"...Some good times," I heard Alazne saying.

"That is some good memories," the nurse said.

I walked into the room.

"Oh here he is now. Good evening Mr Miller Duncan," the nurse said.

"Hello," I greeted the entire room.

The other patients in the room were full of smiles and some chuckled. The nurse walked out of the room.

"Hello, Alazne," I said and walked towards her bed.

"Hello, Dream Catcher Mahony," she said smiling.

"Say what?" I asked confused.

She laughed.

"Wait a minute. I thought she said Miller Duncan. Who is Miller Duncan anyway?" I asked, acting as if I didn't know.

"Apparently when I made a name up, it turned out to be someone famous – a wrestler of all people. And then I took part in a conversation about wrestling. Did you know Dream Catcher Mahony was Miller Duncan's greatest rival a few years ago?" she said with her head tilted.

"No, I didn't," I said.

"Me neither, but thanks to you I learned something new today. I learned things about wrestling history and I discovered I had a brother all along," she said.

"Oh yes. That was just a story I..." I said before I was interrupted.

"Is that why I never got candy when I was a child?" she asked smiling.

"Yes, either that or you were a very naughty child," I said.

"Mmm I don't know. Maybe it is a bit of both," she said smiling.

I smiled back at her.

"So tell me how it happened that we suddenly became related?" she asked.

"Well, I looked for you at the bookshop and even at your apartment, but could not find you anywhere. So your neighbor told me you were brought to this hospital. Of course the hospital staff won't let just anyone in so had to twist the truth a little to see you," I said.

"Wow. Thank you. That is really something you did there. But for your information I almost had to do a second brain scan," she said seriously.

"How so?" I asked a question on which I already knew the answer.

"All because of your truth twisting. I was so caught off guard with this entire sibling dilemma session that the nurse thought I had memory loss," she said chuckling.

I laughed.

"But are you feeling better?" I asked.

"Good as ever. Apparently I had a few heart attacks, but no one can explain what the cause of it was. Who would have thought one can fall ill so quickly?" she asked.

"You know, recently I thought about life as if it is a book," I said.

Alazne look confused.

"You know I love books. Please continue," she said.

"I just feel God is the writer of each of our individual books of life. The closer your story gets to a blank page, the closer you get to something bad in your life. It lets you wonder, maybe he leaves a blank page open for something bad to happen just to test the human and get them back on the right track. Or can it be that the devil sometimes interferes with the writing process and changes something for his own amusement? I guess with this concept in mind, the saying won't be 'the most beautiful flowers are picked first', but 'which novel is finished and published first' would be more appropriate," I said.

"That is one way to describe life," she said as she nodded.

"How would you feel if you were able to write someone else's story of life? To control everything that happens in that person's life?" I asked.

"I never thought about that. But I would not want a responsibility like that. Imagine how guilty I'll feel when something bad will happen to that person," she said.

"And if you find out someone is writing a book based on your life? Controlling everything that happens in your life?" I asked with guilt.

"Full of strange questions today?" she asked.

"Yes, just being a little weird," I said.

"I would not like it. Especially if the person knows me. I don't want to be somebody's puppet," she said.

"Yes, that is true," I said.

"Well, it is good to know something important as that is in God's hands and not ours," she said.

"Yes, it is," I said somberly.

"Don't be sad. Everything happens for a reason," she said as if she could read my mind.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I know it would be nice to save a loved one. If you can just help by writing their book and avoiding their passing. I know you would have saved your father, but what happened, happened for a reason," she said warmly.

"Yes, there is nothing I can do now," I said.

It is clear that I can not tell her about The Book Keeper. I guess I'll just have to be careful.

The doctor walked into the room.

"Miss Duncan," he greeted.

"Doctor?" she asked.

"We have some good news for you. You can go home now. You are officially discharged," the doctor said.

"Thank goodness!" she said.

"But..." the doctor said.

"I knew there was a 'but'," she said.

"I would actually want to keep you here," the doctor said.

"No! No thank you. I'll discharge myself if I have too," she said.

"I knew you would feel that way. So therefore you must make sure you take your heart medication in the morning, afternoon and evening. And I want to recommend that you don't stay alone tonight, maybe just have a friend or family member over. You never know if something can happen again," the doctor said.

"Okay," she said.

"Also. You need to come back next week for a follow up," he said.

"Good. Thank you doctor. May I leave now?" she asked.

"Yes, you are free to leave. Godspeed, Alazne," the doctor said.

The doctor left the room.

"So apparently I have to get a roommate for tonight. How lovely," she said.

"Do you know anybody you can trust?" I asked.

"Yes, Brian said he is coming to fetch me as soon as I get discharged. I must just give him a call," she said.

Well it looks like Brian succeeded in interfering with my plans.

"So are you going to call him now?" I asked.

"Yes, hold on," she said.

Those words crashed my hope for another evening with her. Apparently the book is not able to control her life.

"Yes, Brian? I'm officially discharged... Yes, it is great news... Okay, I'll see you in 15 minutes then," she spoke on her cell phone.

I sat there next to her, disappointed, but not showing it.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing, why?" I asked.

She maintained her quietness for a while until it became awkward. Suddenly she burst out with laughter.

"I'm just joking. I didn't call Brian," she said.

"But you spoke to him on the phone," I said.

"I just acted like I spoke to him," she said smiling.

I just smiled and shook my head.

"But was he here today?" I asked.

"Yes, he came to the hospital, he left just before you arrived. He brought some clothes for me in this bag," she said and pointed to the bag lying on the floor.

"Okay," I said relieved.

"So what are we doing tonight?" she asked.

"I want to show you something. That is if you are up for it?" I asked.

"As long as I don't have to walk far or something like that? We don't want the ambulance to pick me up again for whatever reason," she said.

"No, you don't have too," I answered.

"Okay, then I'm up for it," she said smiling.

The nurse walked into the room.

"Okay so Miss Duncan? Do you require a wheelchair?" the nurse asked.

"A wheelchair? For what?" Alazne asked.

"We usually do that for the patients, especially for what you've been through. We take them down to the entrance by wheelchair," she said.

"No thank you. I'll rather walk. There's nothing wrong with me," Alazne said.

"Okay, do you need assistance with anything else?" the nurse asked.

"No, I'm good thank you," she said.

"Okay, thanks miss Duncan," the nurse said and walked out of the room.

"I just quickly want to change. I need to get out of this place before they decide to keep me here," Alazne said and looked through the bag Brian brought earlier.

She took out the same red cocktail dress she was wearing the previous evening.

"Typical Brian. The first dress he saw is the first one he puts in the bag," she said.

"Maybe he knows how gorgeous you look in it," I complimented.

She smiled at me.

"I'll be back now," she said and went to change in the bathroom.

I sat on the chair and waited for her, rewinding and replaying tonight's events, I wrote in the book, in my mind.

"Ready?" she asked when she came out of the bathroom.

I stared at her in silence as soon as I looked up. Once again she achieved the task of taking breaths away and turning heads with her beauty. She looked the same as the evening before, but to me her beauty improved by the second. It is just like watching a film on an old television and then switching to a new high definition television – it is the same film, but the colors are so much better.

"Yes, let's go," I said.

"So where are we going?" she asked.

"For me to know and for you to find out," I said.

"Okay. Accepted," she said.

We left the hospital, got in the car and proceeded out of the parking lot.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm actually starving," she said.

"What do you want to eat?" I asked.

"Anything. It doesn't matter," she said.

I drove past all the restaurants and fast food joints.

"Are we not going buy food?" she asked.

"There is food where we are heading," I said.

"We are driving towards the ocean side, right?" she asked.

"Yes, we are," I said.

"There are no restaurants in that area. Or are you going to try to catch some fish in the night?" she asked.

"No," I said.

"Then where are we going?" she asked.

"It's a surprise. You'll see," I said as the curiosity built in her eyes.

Chapter 11

We drove on the road next to the ocean. The sound of waves are really calming to the soul.

"Wait, you're not going to kidnap me, are you?" Alazne asked.

"How did you know?" I asked smiling.

"My aunt warned me not to get in a car with strange men. I should have listened," she said.

I stopped at a lighthouse that's built next to another building on a rock formation.

"Here we are at my warehouse. The place where I keep all my victims," I said smiling.

She had a shocked look on her face.

"On a serious note. Are you really a kidnapper?" she asked.

"No, that was just a joke," I said.

"So what are we doing at an abandoned lighthouse in the middle of the night?" she asked.

"Well, I must admit it looks kind of sketchy. But I told you yesterday about starting something new. So I brought you here to show you what I have planned," I said.

"Okay," she said trustingly and got out of the car.

The ocean was uneasy and the waves were beating against the rock formation. We walked towards the lighthouse. There was a wooden path with a few broken wood beams that led to the lighthouse.

"Watch your step here. This small bridge is very old," I said.

She grabbed my arm and I looked at her with a smile.

"It's not going to look good if I fall through the wood," she said.

I took her hand and lead her on the path.

"Look out for that broken beam," I warned as we walked to the lighthouse's door.

"Do you know how hard it is to walk here with high heels?" she asked.

"No, not really. The last time I walked with high heels was when I was 3 or something," I said.

She responded with a laugh.

"What? Every little boy does that," I said.

"Yes, but you don't see little girls using their dad's razor or in my case my uncle's," she said.

"Well shaving is a little gross. So I'm glad you didn't do that," I said.

She responded with a smile.

"Wait up. Let me just take these heels off," she said stopping me by pulling on my hand.

She took off her heels.

"Yes, that's better," she said.

I opened the building's door for her and we went in. It was too dark to see in the building. I used the light of my cell phone to get to the curtain to open it. As soon as I opened the curtains the gray moonlight shined through the window, lighting up the entire room.

"Wow, it's so beautiful," she said.

I lit up a few candles that were on a table in the center of the room. Alazne flicked the light switch on and off, but the lights did not respond.

"There's no electricity here," I said.

"So I guess that's why you're lighting up candles. And here I thought you're just trying to be romantic," she said smiling.

"Maybe I am trying to be romantic," I said.

I could see how the light of stars shined in her eyes. It seemed like the entire room was lit up by her beauty. I walked towards her.

"Do you want to dance?" I asked with my hand out to her.

"Dance? To what music?" she asked.

"I'll improvise," I said.

She took my hand and we started to dance slowly and closely to each other. I started creating a beat.

"Mmm mmmhhh mmm. Mmm mmmhhh mmm," I started mumbling.

"What are you doing?" she asked full of laughs.

"Shh, I need silence for this. Got to hit my notes," I said.

She laughed and shook her head.

"Can I ask you for this dance? Can I ask you for this dance?" I started singing.

She laid her head on my shoulder.

"You there in the red dress

There's something I need to confess

I don't know if I'll ever get the chance

To ask you for this dance

Because you're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen

Here where you are dancing with me

There is nowhere else I would want to be

And this is why I would still sing

Can I ask you for this dance?

For I would do anything

To ask you for this dance

Because to me you are amazing

When we are dancing from left to right

It's so dark in this room, but still you're shining bright

Tonight I'm dancing with an angel from heaven

So allow me to stand by my confession

Because you're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen

Here where you are dancing with me

There is nowhere else I would want to be

And this is why I would still sing

Can I ask you for this dance?

For I would do anything

To ask you for this dance

Because to me you are amazing

Your hair is black, your eyes are blue

What will I be without you

You're an angel, you're a saint

You're a work of art that can't be fake

Because you're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen

Here where you are dancing with me

There is nowhere else I would want to be

And this is why I would still sing

Can I ask you for this dance?

For I would do anything

To ask you for this dance

Because to me you are amazing

The most amazing," I sang.

I stopped singing, but we continued dancing.

"That is an old song," she said.

"Yes, but good," I said.

"That was perfect," she said smiling at me with the light of the moon shining in her eyes.

"No, not quite yet," I said.

I looked at her and the quietness grew like algae in the ocean, even the waves were quiet. I brushed her hair away from her eyes and brushed her cheek with the back of my hand while I was taking her hair away. She leaned in towards me and closed her eyes. I followed her example and the closer I got I felt how all the untrue faded away. Our lips touched lightly, but suddenly we were ripped away from each other by some mighty and loud thunder strike. The room was lit up as if someone was taking photos of us with a camera that has a flash. So much for a lovely moment.

Alazne started laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You were so scared," she said stuttering while trying to suppress the giggles.

"Hey, that was unsuspected," I said.

"But still," she said laughing.

It started raining like there was no tomorrow. I welcomed the rain, because this rain is here to wash my pain away.

"Oh, you want to laugh. I'll give you a reason to laugh," I said before I caught her.

"You already gave me a reason to laugh," she said teasingly.

"We will see," I said.

I put her gently on the floor and began to tickle her under her arms.

"That's not going to work, I'm not ticklish under my arms," she said smiling.

"Okay what about here?" I asked while I tickled her on her tummy and sides, but she still didn't laugh.

"No, wrong spot," she said.

"Well, you must be ticklish somewhere," I said.

I looked at her bare feet.

"No, don't even try that," she said moving her feet away from me.

"Oh, she has a weak spot," I said trying to get hold of her feet.

I wrestled to get hold of her feet, but just as I got hold of her she broke loose.

"It will be a lot easier if you just..." I said before I was muted by a knee to the jaw.

I grabbed my jaw and sat on the ground.

"Are you okay?" she asked before getting up swiftly from the floor.

"I hope that was not on purpose," I mumbled while holding my jaw.

"No, never. What makes you think that?" she asked.

"Well, you ran me over yesterday. Now it's a knee straight to the jaw. What's next?" I asked.

"What's next?" she asked.

"Yes?" I asked.

Without any warning she shoved her lips against mine so hard that it hurt even more for a brief moment. The strawberry lip gloss that was lingering on her lips tasted like heaven. I don't remember how it felt like being born, but I think this must be how it felt. It's like I've been suffocating this whole time and I just came up to take a lung full of fresh air. Nothing matters, the only thing you care about is getting that fresh air, the only thing I care about is her. Inhaling and let her fill and complete me and then exhaling – what a feeling. So lovely that it can't be described in words. She withdrew her lips from mine.

"How... is... that... for... what's... next...?" she asked while peck kissing me after every word.

"Perfect... but I'm not satisfied yet. The pain is still there," I said holding my jaw.

We kissed again. I brushed my index finger against the ball of her foot while we were kissing.

"Mmm hhhmmm," she mumbled while she ripped her foot away.

I stopped kissing her.

"I need to get my revenge," I said.

"I thought we are already even," she said.

"You clearly thought wrong," I said before I grabbed her feet and held it tightly.

"You're not going to kick me again," I said starting to tickle her under her feet.

"No, no!" she yelled before she started laughing.

"Yes, now you have a reason to laugh," I said still tickling her.

"Yes, yes I do. Now please stop my tummy is already sore," she said through the giggles.

I stopped tickling her.

"Is that better?" I asked.

"Yes, now come ov..." she said before she gasped for air when I brushed my fingertips across the ball of her foot.

"Don't do that again," she said.

"What? This?" I asked, again brushing my fingertips against the ball of her foot.

She gasped for air again.

"You're not going to stop, are you?" she asked.

"No... why... should... I..." I said tickling her after each word.

"Very well," she said, grabbing me by my shirt and dragging me down.

We kissed again for a brief moment.

"You know, yesterday when you bumped me with your car, I fell hard because of you. A moment ago, I got kicked in the jaw, again I fell hard because of you. You know what's the lesson I learned?" I asked.

"What's that?" she asked.

"That you are quite dangerous to be around with," I said smiling.

"Aw, that hurt you know," she said smiling.

We smiled at each other for a while, but every second that passed the intensity in our stares towards each other increased.

"You know what hurt the most. I think I fell the hardest just now, but I did not fall to the ground. I don't know what or if I connected something, but if I must take a guess, I'll say that this must be how heaven feels like," I said.

She smiled at me with teary eyes.

"You are so beautiful all the hurt heals immediately," I said smiling.

"I don't know what to say," she said with teary eyes and a huge smile on her face.

"Don't say anything, because sometimes actions just speak louder than words," I said.

She ran her hand over my cheek and through my hair. I wiped her tears with my hand.

"I wish we could just lay here in this moment forever," she said.

I embraced her in a long hug and she laid there in my arms with her hand on my chest. We didn't say anything, we just communicated through the waves of the ocean hitting the rock formation, through the rain falling lightly down on the roof, through the candle light cutting through the darkness of the night and through our hearts beating in sequence with each other. This is something that no one will ever fully understand, only you and I can understand this. The absence of words grew uncomfortable between us, but I was quickly comforted by the warmth of her body next to mine.

"Tell me about your future plans that you mentioned earlier," she said.

"Oh yes. I want to turn this place into a cozy get together place. Not a bar where alcoholics will hang out, or a night club with deafening music where you can't hear the person next to you. It should just be a place to unwind a little, with foreign beers, a few cocktails, a few shooters, a food menu, waiters serving the drinks and food to the client's tables and soft music playing in the background. Maybe I'll decorate the walls with some fishnet from the deep sea and maybe I will keep the lights off so that the room will be decorated by candles. It's an idea that me and my dad had, so it feels right to continue with it," I said.

"You should," she said.

I smiled at her.

"Let me ask you something," she said.

"Go ahead," I said.

"How did it happen that you are still single? You are such a nice guy," she asked.

"I never knew why, but I was always repelling to women. If I get someone it won't last long. I always thought that the scars had something to do with it. Have you ever wondered if that expression that says 'nice guys finish last' is true? Well in my case it seems true," I said.

"Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. And their decision became their loss," she said smiling.

There I was, finally being accepted by someone special. I brushed my hand through her hair and laid my hand to rest on her left shoulder. There was a strange bump on her shoulder.

"What is that?" I asked.

She kept quiet for a while.

"Alazne? What is that?" I asked.

"It's my new metronome," she said calmly.

"Metronome? What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Yes, you like music, right?" she asked.

"Yes, I do. But what what does that have to do with you?" I asked.

"It keeps the music of my heart in rhythm. The doctor decided it is a good idea to give me a pacemaker for my heart. He said it is to prevent another problem with my heart. So that is why I say I have my own metronome," she said.

There is a fresh plaster over the wound.

"When did he do that?" I asked.

"About an hour and a half before you came to the hospital. They did the procedure while I was wide awake, can you believe that?" she said shocked.

I can't believe this. I didn't write anything about her needing to get a pacemaker. Or is this the consequence of me not writing when I need to? If it is, I'll never skip a day again.

"I'm so sorry, Alazne," I said through the guilt I feel.

"Why are you sorry? It is not your fault," she said smiling.

If only you knew, Alazne. If only you knew what I know.

"This was not supposed to happen. I hope you know I will never wish something likes this on you," I said.

"I know," she said.

I held her closer to me, willing to protect her from the world. She is so perfect to me and now she walks around with this curse.

"When are we going home?" she asked after a while.

"Where are you staying tonight?" I asked.

"I don't know. I'll have to contact Brian," she asked.

"It's already late, you can stay with me also. I have another room available," I said.

"If it is not any trouble?" she asked.

"No problem," I said.

"Thank you," she said.

"Come on, let's go," I said.

We walked towards the door and I opened it. The uneasy ocean splashed us with water and the wind increased the water's coldness. We ran towards the car and got in.

"It's quite warm inside the car. Here put on this jacket so you don't catch a cold," I said while handing her my jacket.

"Thanks, but strange enough, I've never had a cold or sickness before today's expedition," she said while putting the jacket on.

"Seriously? Not even when you were a child? Like chickenpox? Nothing?" I asked.

"No, not even that," she said.

"Okay," I said as I drove away from the lighthouse.

So it seems when the words stops going, her blood also stops flowing and clots up. Is this the real reason for the heart problems she has? For me it seems like the doctor treated a temporary problem with a permanent solution. Or was this destined to happen? We all know heart problems comes with time – it is not an overnight thing. Maybe her heart problems started somewhere in the book. The question is did my father write it in the book or was it something she did out of her own to trigger the problem?

Chapter 12

We arrived at my house and as we entered I switched on the living room light.

"Wow, it's a beautiful house," she said.

"I'm just going to put your bag in your room. Make yourself at home," I said.

"Okay. Thank you," she said.

I put her bag on the floor next to her bed, did a quick inspection of the room to know if everything needed was there and then I returned back to the living room. Alazne was standing in the living room staring at a book. As I approached I saw it was The Book Keeper lying on the coffee table. I could kick myself, I didn't want her to see this book.

"The Book Keeper? What is this?" she asked while pointing at the thick book.

I picked up the book and held it close to me.

"This is... um... a book that I have been working on. I'm a writer in my free time. Trying to be actually," I said.

"Wow, when is it going to be finished? It is already thicker than a dictionary," she said.

"I don't know. There's so much that still needs to happen in the story," I said.

"Can I read it?" she asked before touching the book in my tight grip.

"No," I said holding on even more tightly.

"Please?" she asked trying to fool me by making puppy dog eyes.

"Do you know how hard it is to say no to you?" I asked.

"Yes," she said with a smile.

"But I can't let you read this. This is highly confidential and top secret," I said.

"Like government top secret?" she asked.

"Higher than that," I said.

"Like if you show me you'll have to kill me top secret?" she asked.

"Yes, something like that," I said.

"Okay, it was worth the shot. So when are you going to let me read it? When it's finished?" she asked.

"Maybe, we'll have to see by then," I said.

"Okay," she said smiling.

"I'll be back now. I'm just going to put this in a safe place," I said before walking to my father's study.

I hid the book under the wood floor in a secret compartment. My father usually hid it there from us, hopefully this place is good enough so that Alazne won't find it. I went back to the living room where Alazne was waiting for me.

"Did you find the anti-Alazne safe place that you were looking for?" she asked smiling.

"Yes, in fact I did. Now it is safe," I said matching her smile.

Alazne sat on the leather couch.

"I can't believe you didn't publish that book yet. It's already so long and thick. Are you going to publish it one day?" she asked.

I walked to the the couch and sat next to her.

"I don't know, maybe," I said while staring at her hand that was brushing through her hair.

I'm desperate for the conversation to turn focus away from The Book Keeper.

"What now?" she asked.

"Nothing," I said smiling.

She tilted her head, smiled and made her lips to invite me for a kiss. I barely touched her lips with mine before I withdrew.

"Do you enjoy teasing me like that?" she asked.

"You have no idea," I said before kissing her softly, but again barely touching her lips.

"Okay if you want to be like that," she said before jumping on my lap.

"You are very fast," I said.

"Shh, I'm in control now," she whispered with her index finger on my lips.

Alazne kissed me, mixing it up from calm kisses that were soft and slow to aggressive kisses that were hard and fast. We stopped after a while.

"You really are a good kisser," she said.

"I know, but thank you," I said.

"Really? How would you know? Have you ever made out with yourself?" she asked.

"Kind of, yes," I said.

"What? Please tell me more," she said laughing.

"To put it sweet and short, the mirror can kiss pretty well," I said.

"You made out with the mirror? That's so funny," she said with laughter overwhelming her.

"It was awkward at first to see that I'm actually making out with a man in the mirror, but then I decided to dress up like a woman to make it seem more realistic," I said.

Alazne laughed.

"Oh my word. Did you really dress up like a woman?" she asked.

"Yes, I actually made a very hot girl," I said.

"Hotter than me?" she asked.

"Now now, let us not compare that, but yes," I said jokingly.

"Aw, that's just too bad," she said with a sad face.

"But I was so hot that my wig actually caught on fire," I said.

"Caught on fire?" she asked.

"Yes, literally," I said.

"How did you pull that off?" she asked.

"Well the movies portrayed candlelight as something romantic, well in my case it really did heat up the moment," I said.

Alazne laughed.

"How old were you when you made out with the mirror, or should I say yourself, or is it actually a girl named Matilda?" she asked.

"I was 4 years old. A very strange kid. I guess it was a bit of each – the mirror, myself and Matilda," I said.

"Whose wig was it?" she asked.

"My mother's. She was very angry at me when I showed her the thing that was once her wig," I said smiling.

"What did she do to you?" she asked.

"Well firstly I got a good hiding and secondly I had to buy her a new wig even though she never used it. I don't know why she had a wig in the first place," I said.

"Did you buy her a new wig," she asked.

"Yes, I bought her a wig for Christmas. I borrowed the money for the wig from my dad," I said.

"We never celebrated Christmas by buying each other gifts and having somebody around dressed as Santa Claus. My aunt would usually cook a nice meal. Then we would just spend the day together as a family. My uncle believed that the concept of buying gifts is just a money making scheme," she said.

"The time when I bought my mother the wig was the last time we celebrated Christmas, thereafter it was just another normal day in one of the months on the calendar," I said.

"How do you feel about the buying gifts thing on Christmas? Would you celebrate it when you have kids one day?" she asked.

"I guess so. I'll celebrate it until they are old enough to realize that Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy and The Easter Bunny are not real," I said.

"And if they never realize they are not real? Or if they don't want to believe that?" she asked.

"That would be a problem. Awkward talk show, specializing in family problems, here we come," I said.

Alazne laughed.

"So the mirror taught me how to kiss, but on what did you learn?" I asked.

"My pillow," she said.

"Your pillow, well that's a better choice than a mirror," I said.

"You think?" she asked.

"Yes, I wish I was that pillow," I said.

She smiled at me.

"Your wish has come true," she said before she kissed me.

"And you know what?" I asked.

"What?" she asked.

"You will be my mirror," I said before kissing her.

She smiled at me.

"So, when I made out with the mirror I dressed like a woman to let it seem more realistic. But what did you do to the pillow to make it more manlier? Maybe added a beard or a mustache?" I asked.

"I think the pillow already had a beard because some of the feathers pierced through the pillow and tickled me on the chin while I was making out with it," she said.

I laughed.

"That's funny, but I think my story still beats yours," I said.

"No, it doesn't," she said.

"It does," I said.

"Whatever," she said smiling.

"But one thing that you do beat me at is your cuteness," I said smiling.

"So that's one, then I have a few more to go," she said.

"No, no. Wait a second, that will be the one and only thing that you'll be able to beat me at," I said.

"You think?" she asked.

"Yes, of course," I said.

"All right, so when and what is the next challenge?" she asked.

"Let me make it easy. It will be arm wrestling," I said.

"You call that easy?" she asked.

"Yes, easy for me to win and easy for you to lose," I said.

"Okay, I hope you are ready to lose. You will be nothing compared to my feminine strength," she said.

"Oh, let me just give you a taste of what your feminine strength won't be able to do," I said before picking her up from the couch, walking to the dining table and putting her down on the chair at the table.

"Are you trying to intimidate me?" she asked.

"Maybe. Is it working?" I asked.

"No ways. Bring on all you got," she said before planting her right elbow on the table, ready to arm wrestle.

"Okay, you asked for it," I said before taking a seat at the table.

I locked my hand on her small hand.

"Your hands are so big. How do you expect me to win?" she asked.

"You are already doubting yourself. The power of intimidation," I said.

"I'd rather call it making myself seem as a soft person and using the element of surprise to win you," she said.

"You are working with a strategy. I'm impressed, but now I know your secret," I said.

"It doesn't matter I have a lot more tricks up my sleeve," she said.

"All right let's test those tricks. So are you ready?" I asked.

"Yes, let's go," she said.

"Okay, 1 2 3, go," I said before we began arm wrestling.

She used all her power to push my arm away, but I used just enough power to keep our hands stationary. I started to toy with her by pushing her hand almost to the table, but bringing it back to a vertical level right before it touched the table.

"You like to play games?" she asked.

"Yes, where's this feminine power you were talking about?" I asked.

She looked at me with a determined look on her face and she leaned towards me to kiss me. We kissed and I felt how my arm was being pushed into the table and she withdrew from the kiss.

"You see I told I'll win. And that's feminine power," she said.

"You cheated, you used both hands to win me," I said.

"No, I didn't," she said.

"Yes, you did," I said.

"Okay, maybe I did or maybe I didn't, but where's your proof?" she asked.

"I can't prove, but I know," I said.

"You can't prove it because your eyes were closed. Admit it, but the feminine power did beat you," she said.

"Okay, I'll give you that victory," I said.

"Thank you," she said smiling.

We walked back to the couch and we sat close to each other. The games and fun were pushed aside.

"What do you still want to do with your life?" I asked.

"Like what?" she asked.

"Places you want to see. Things you want to do. Things like that?" I asked.

"Oh yes. I would love to visit Italy," she said.

"Yes, it is quite beautiful there. I have been there and a few other places," I said.

"Really? How was it? Which places have you gone too?" she asked excited.

"I have been to a few places that the world has to offer. From mount Etna in Italy erupting at night, so that the lava looks like fireworks shooting into the sky. In Glacier National Park, Montana; I saw this mountain next to a lake. The water in the lake was so clear and beautiful it mirrored the mountain's image. It was so beautiful. Then the most beautiful sunset that I have ever seen was at Pfeiffer Beach, California; if you stand just behind the sandstone formation the sun shines right through the opening in the sandstone. I also saw this moonlight over the ocean in Sicily, Italy; the moonlight lit up a long and wide line on the water that connected with the gray light that was shining down on the land, night time was never so beautiful and clear," I said.

"Wow it sounds amazing. It must have been very beautiful," she said smiling.

"Yes, I have seen a lot of beauty that the world has to offer, but that beauty can only be seen at some stages of the day, others once in every 50 years. But you..." I said before touching her cheek softly and I felt her smile through the touch.

"Nature can learn from this beauty I'm beholding. I wish that I could embrace this every second into eternity. All the beauties of nature happening all at once can never compare to you," I said before touching her softly on the chin and giving her a soft gentle kiss.

The soft kisses escalated to something more. We did not have sex, but we rather made love. Some people may differ, but having someone who you can have an emotional bond with is so much better than have having someone who's there to take part in meaningless sex.

Alazne laid in my arms with her head on my shoulder. We were wrapped in the sheets. She proceeded to gently fall into a deep sleep. Her eyes closed slowly while I opened my heart willingly. I am falling for her – there is no way of denying it. All that is left to do is to sit back and just read and accept my story for what it is meant to be. Because some flowers are not meant to be removed from where they grow.

I brushed my hand over her cheek and she smiled one last time before she completely fell asleep.

I have heard a lot of stories about what true happiness is, but to see the smile on somebody's face and to know you have a positive effect on them – that is the ultimate happiness someone can have. I want to protect her from all the sorrow in the world. But is it really possible considering these circumstances I find us in?

Chapter 13

21 June 2012

Alazne woke up, in his arms, healthy and ready for a new day. Usually she woke up to the chirping of birds, but this morning it was to one of her favorite songs. He stared at her, with a wish in his eyes. Wishing time could stand still or at least pass by slower than normally. She opened her eyes slowly and her smile became brighter as his image became clear in her eyes.

"What now?" she asked before moaning with sleeping noises.

"Good morning," he said.

"Morning," she greeted back.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"Who said I'm finished?" she asked while turning around and hugging the pillow tightly.

"I'll make us some coffee," he said not wanting to disturb her.

*********

I continued to write the book while Alazne is sleeping. It is just after 12 in the morning and I am extremely tired, but my eyes are kept open by a responsibility. I would rather prefer to lie next to her and hear her breathing. To know she is alive, protected and comfortable. But that is the main reason why I am sitting here and writing her story. It is my curse to live with, but again every sacrifice of a few minutes is my key to spend another few hours with her. The closer I got to the last events of tomorrow the more my mind wandered to unanswered questions. In particular the questions I have with the tragic events that played out yesterday this time. I must search the book for any minor clue that may have something to do with her medical condition. The answer lies in one of a thousand pages in front of me. I guess I'll have to start at one point.

*********

1 January 2009

A new year with new challenges has begun for Alazne – her fourth and final year of being a student at North University. For most students the 1st of January is not a good day to be alive because the scars of New year's eve is visible in the form of a hangover. But for Alazne it was like being just born. Because deep down she knew whatever hardships she had in her history will easily be overshadowed by the beauty that is preserved for her future.

*********

Fact is when people are suffering from heart disease it can point out to wrong choices that were made by them at some point in life. Most people who dwell onto the wrong roads and make mistakes are young, is it the same in Alazne's case? Could it be that the hardships the book is talking about may be referring to an alcohol abuse? She doesn't look like an alcoholic. Maybe she ate a lot of fatty fast food? But the doctors would have picked it up in their tests. This is far fetched, but maybe she was in contact with a huge amount of electricity? Out of experience I know the electricity passing through a body can do harm to the heart. In my head I continued to play out possibilities and dismissed them soon after they were created. I paged through the thick book, losing myself in all the spaces between the words.

"What are you doing?" Alazne asked suddenly behind me.

I immediately closed the book with force.

"Were you working on your mystery novel?" she asked and sat next to me.

"Yes, kind of. Just going over some parts," I said.

"Come on," she said.

"What?" I asked.

"Let me read a part of the novel. Just one chapter," she pleaded.

"No, no," I said.

"It must be a really interesting concept if someone sits in the early hours of the morning working on their novel while other people are still sleeping," she said.

"Well, maybe it is one of my creative rituals," I said smiling.

"Why don't you want me to read the story?" she asked.

I kept quiet and stared at her. Hoping the focus will fade away from the book.

"Is it about me?" she asked.

"What?" I asked shocked.

"Is the book about me?" she asked.

"Why do you think that?" I asked.

"Was just a wild guess. You are so secretive about the book. I could swear you are writing about me," she said.

"It is just a writer's thing," I said.

She smiled at me.

"I'm going to put the book away. I'll be right back," I said and went to the study.

I put the book in the study, locked the door and returned to Alazne. I sat next to her. She lay against me and I wrapped her in my arms. Once again silence hanged in the house like a black cloud does. But this black cloud had a much bigger silver lining than the previous one. It soon became a normal white fluffy cloud. In this house the silence was lately known as a form of solitude.

"If you had one million what would you do with it?" she asked.

But my solitude quickly seeped away when she solaced me in the cold rain.

"I would probably invest it or use it for something productive," I said.

"Will you make every single one that you have count?" she asked.

"Yes. Why are you asking? Do you want to give me some money?" I asked.

"Maybe one day if I win the jackpot," she said.

"I believe having someone you adore next to you is so much better than any jackpot," I said.

"I agree," she said as she touched my arm.

Alazne stared intensely at the photos hanging on the wall.

"Who is that?" she asked as she pointed to my father's photo.

She got up and walked to the photo to get a closer look.

"Why do you have a picture of Charlie Echoes on your wall?" she asked.

"Well, his real name is actually Evan Myers," I said as I walked up to her and stared at the photo.

"Is he your father?" she asked surprised.

"Yes he is," I said while I remembered she told me about meeting him before.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

I smiled at her.

"Wow my favorite author. So you are following in his footsteps?" she asked.

"I'm trying," I said.

She didn't say anything, she just looked at me and replied with a smile.

"When did you meet him again?" I asked.

"13 March 2013. I will never forget that day," she said.

"So tell me more about how you remember him," I said.

"On the day I met him he was wearing this bright orange t-shirt. I swear an orange would blush if it could have seen that t-shirt. With the t-shirt, he was wearing blue jeans," she said.

"And those jeans must have been the only thing that seemed normal," I said.

"Actually, yes," she said.

"Don't worry, he was always like that. It must have been the creative juices that were flowing," I said.

"It must have been that," she said.

"Although some people must have mistaken him for a stoner or maybe even a homeless person, I don't know. But I'm proud of what he was and still is. Sometimes I got so angry at him that I felt like leaving home and go far away, but I never did. I always heard people say that we don't know how much our parents sacrifice for us to be happy. I never understood that, but now I understand what he went through and gave up to see me happy – now more than ever. His sacrifice finally paid off and I am happy," I said.

She smiled at me and looked at the other pictures on the wall.

"Is that your mother?" she asked pointing at another picture.

"Yes it is," I said.

Memories of lost loved ones immediately knocked on the door that leads to my heart. 13 May 1987, 12 March 2011 and 18 June 2011. These 3 days were filled with emptiness, but why does it feel as if there is more to it than I realize?

"I'm quite tired. Let's go to bed," she said.

"Okay," I said and we walked to the bedroom.

She quickly fell asleep next to me. I lay there with questions filling my head while I recalled my and Alazne's conversations.

Is it a coincidence that my mother and her parents died on 13 May 1987 and she was born the next day on 14 May 1987?

Is it a coincidence that my best friend, James, died on 12 March 2011 and she met my father the next day on 13 March 2011?

Lastly is it another coincidence that my father died on 18 June 2011 and I met her the next day on 19 June 2011?

I stared at her while she was sleeping so softly. I wish I could make time stand still or at least let it pass by slower than normal.

It seems like every passing of loved ones was a step closer to meeting her. Was I destined to lose everything to gain something I always longed for?

Chapter 14

I'm back at the emergency rescue services. It feels good to be back, I kept telling myself. Suddenly we got a 911 call.

"There's a car accident. A truck collided with a car – head on head crash. Get in the car," I heard Joe's cool and calm voice.

Joe started the emergency vehicle and paced to the emergency scene. We were both quiet and focused – quiet as the grave. It was just like old times, we were both anxious to save some lives. The accident scene became clearer by the moment. About 100 meters from us I could see the car and truck were engulfed in flames. Joe drove to the inferno and stopped. The smell of burnt victims polluted the air. I could feel the nausea building up inside me. The people in those vehicles must have been burned to death by now, but I swear that I could hear their screams, becoming louder and louder.

"It's bad, isn't it?" a voice behind me said as the screams faded away.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"What you don't remember me?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"Remember that time when you told me that my fiancé is going to be all right? Well she never was all right. So how does it feel now? How does it feel to have lost a parent yourself?" the man asked aggressively.

"I tried my best to save her," I pleaded.

"Well, apparently your best was not good enough," he said with a blaming look on his face.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Sorry won't bring her back," he said.

I did not know what to say to this man anymore. The smell became more intense. The screams became louder. It all was unbearable. I grabbed my ears, trying to block some of the screaming out, but it didn't help. I was forced to my knees by this torture.

"Matthew, wake up. Wake up. Matthew? Matthew? Matthew? Wake up. Wake up," the man said whose voice slowly turned into a familiar female voice.

I felt how someone was shaking me. Suddenly I was falling down a pit. I saw how the ground came closer and closer, but just before I hit the ground I woke up. Alazne stared at me with eyes full of concern. I was soaked in sweat. My pillow was also soaking wet, but I'm not sure if it was sweat or tears. I could feel my heart beating fiercely, almost as if it was trying to make its way out of my chest. My breathing was out of control, I pumped air into my lungs like a person that just came out of the water.

"Nightmare?" she asked.

"Yes, lately I have been having only nightmares, nothing else," I said.

"What is it about?" she asked before putting her hand of comfort on my arm.

"Car accidents, some familiar ones and others that I have never seen before. All of them seem so real, but so terrorizing," I said.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"No, I'll manage," I said.

She put her hand on my hand.

"Did I wake you?" I asked.

"No, not really, I was already awake," she said before staring at the window.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"I heard something there by the window. Like footsteps. Can it be a burglar?" she asked.

I went to the window and looked outside.

"Well, if they return or try to break in I'll protect you," I said.

"Thank you. Now I'll try to get some sleep. Goodnight, sleep tight," she said before she turned around.

"I'll try. And you too," I said.

She turned towards me.

"Don't worry. I'm here. I'll keep the nightmares away and keep the dreams coming," she said while brushing her hand against my cheek.

She lay in my arms, with her head on my shoulder and her hand on my chest.

"I'm going to sleep like this, if that is okay?" she asked.

"Please do," I said.

"Thank you. I'm going to try again, goodnight and sweet dreams," she said.

"Goodnight and sweet dreams for you too," I said.

I lay there listening to her breathing interrupting the stillness and slow state of the night. She was in dream land. I could feel my eyes getting heavier by the second, but the memories of what I usually found behind the closed doors of my eyes were enough to keep me awake. Suddenly I drifted away without even knowing I did.

I was walking on the beach and I felt how the water filled the spaces under my feet and between my toes. A soft hand touched my hand. I looked to my left and saw Alazne.

"Welcome," she said.

"Thank you, I missed you here. But I'm glad you are here," I said before locking my fingers between her fingers.

The sun was shining on the water and we both were caught up in how beautiful it was. It reflected like a thousand stars, the same stars I saw in her eyes in the lighthouse.

"Do you think the sun is rising or setting?" she asked.

"To be quite honest I'm not even sure myself, but I hope it's a sunrise," I said.

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

"A sunrise to me is the hope of a new day to spend it with you and a sunset is just a reminder of the darkness of the night that wants to take you away from me. If I got to choose I would never go to sleep, because a moment without you seems like a nightmare to me," I said.

"So what if you dream about me?" she asked.

"Still not good enough, but it's better than not being with you at all," I said.

She smiled at me.

"Let's sit there on that bench, then we can figure out if this is a sunrise or a sunset," I said.

We sat next to each other on the bench and stared at the living life portrait in front of us. I stretched out with my arms in the air and I put my arm around her. She looked at me and smiled.

"They call this the 'movie trick'," I said.

"What's that?" she asked.

"The movie trick. First I stretch like this," I said while stretching out with my arms in the air.

"And then I proceed to put my arm around you like this," I said while putting my right arm around her.

"Without you even noticing, I did it," I said.

"I like that, this 'movie trick' actually fits in with this real life portrait playing out in front of us," she said.

"Yes, it does," I said.

She smiled at me.

"Can I ask you something else?" I asked.

"Sure," she said.

"If you had a parrot, will the parrot sit here?" I asked while putting my hand on her shoulder closest to me.

"Or would he sit here?" I asked with my arm around her and my hand on her farthest shoulder.

She smiled at me.

"I would say the second one," she said.

"On this shoulder?" I asked while holding my arm around her.

"Definitely, yes," she said.

"That's a very good choice. I would have also chosen that," I said.

She smiled at me, positioned herself to lie on the bench, rested her head on my lap and stared at the ocean. Every time you see see or feel someone you adore there is this indescribable feeling. If you explain to someone in words what it feels like they won't understand. Basically it is the same feeling of inserting a metal object into a plug and being shocked. I personally did that a few times as a child. But having her here is the same feelings – an adrenaline rush, an aftershock feeling and a reason to breath.

"Where has my parrot gone to now?" she asked.

"He must be here somewhere," I said before touching her arm gently.

"Oh, there he is," she said before laughing playfully.

I brushed her hair out of her eyes and hooked it behind her ear as the sun rose higher and higher.

"What did I tell you? You see? It is a sunrise," I said.

"The hope of a new beautiful day," she said.

"Yes, it is," I said.

She turned her head and stared into my eyes. Her skin was glowing from the sun's light.

"You see the sunrise. It means everything is going to be all right. The sun has already set for yesterday and it is time to move on. Treat history as history. Today is a new day and it is our job to live for the present," she said before smiling at me.

I leaned in closer to give her a kiss. Everything around us started to fade away – the sun, the ocean, the sand, the bench where we were sitting, everything except us. Only Alazne and I remained. I closed my eyes as our lips touched each other.

Chapter 15

I opened my eyes and I saw Alazne lying fast asleep, with her head on my shoulder and her hand on my heart, drifting around somewhere in dream land. My alarm radio went off and I pressed the 'sleep' button as fast as I could, because I didn't want to wake her while she is sleeping so peacefully. The radio switched on and it started playing softly. I looked at the radio and the clock displayed 6:00 am.

"Good morning to all the beautiful people and what a good morning it is. It is time to rise and it is time to shine," the radio presenter said.

"As usual we have our 'Anti yawning morning song request', what a long name that is. Start calling in now and I'll take in some song requests right after the adverts," the radio presenter said before an advert of some random business started playing.

I gently wormed myself away from her, making sure I didn't wake her. Alazne murmured a few sounds as she moved and adjusted her body, but she continued to sleep. I went to the kitchen and boiled water to make coffee for me and her. I returned to the bedroom.

"... with this song I would like to tell my wife lying and dreaming next to me that I love you so very much," the caller on the radio said.

"Thank you very much Mr Steven Sunders. You must have a great morning, Steven," the radio presenter said.

I stood in the door and listened to the radio while Alazne is still sleeping.

"Thank you, enjoy your day. Goodbye," Steven, the caller, said before his call was cut.

"Steven Sunders requesting a song from his almost namesake, the lead singer of 'The Zero Hour Project', Steven Summers," the radio presenter said while the song's intro started playing in the background.

"Especially for Steven's wife that he loves so much, this is 'The Zero Hour Project' with their hit 'Stay with me'," the radio presenter said before the song's volume increased.

" _I have so many questions in this life_

And a few answers that doesn't fit quite right

I was never quite sure if I knew something

But I can tell you for sure what I've seen

Come over here and put your hand on my heart

Can you feel what you do to prevent me from falling apart?

If you can count the beats as fast as I do

Then you'll know how much my affection is for you

But will you stay with me, tonight?

For it is you that the shadows fear

Will you stay with me, tonight?

And whisper those sweet words I want to hear," the vocalist sang.

I recognized the song immediately after the chorus. It was the actual song that played when we met. When she ran me over the day before yesterday.

" _I have heard a lot of things the wise man said_

And before now, none of that really made sense

One day you'll find someone that means the world to you

As soon as I held you one of his sayings became true

Come over here and look into my eyes

Can you see you are the better part of my life?

If you can see all the stars shining through

Then you'll know how much I adore you

But will you stay with me, tonight?

For it is you that the shadows fear

Will you stay with me, tonight?

And whisper those sweet words I want to hear

When you put your hand on me

My heart starts to beat fiercely

When you give me that sweet kiss

I'm reminded how much of life I missed

When you stare into my eyes

My body's temperature starts to rise

When you whisper in my ear

Not having you becomes my only fear

But will you stay with me, tonight?

For it is you that the shadows fear

Will you stay with me, tonight?

And whisper those sweet words I want to hear

But will you stay with me, tonight?

For it is you that the shadows fear

Will you stay with me, tonight?

And whisper those sweet words I want to hear," the vocalist ended.

Just as the song ended Alazne opened her eyes.

"So beautiful," she said.

"Good morning. Yes, it is a good song," I said.

"No, I'm talking about the sunrise," she said.

"I don't understand," I said confused.

"It was a dream, wasn't it? It felt so real. We sat on a bench at the beach and we argued whether the low hanging sun, that was bouncing it's light on the water...," she said before I interrupted her.

"Was actually a sunrise or a sunset, but it was a sunrise," I said.

"Okay... so you must be either a mind reader or you were really there. Did you have the same dream?" she asked.

"Yes, I don't know how it happened, but I can't remember when last I had a good dream. Usually it's only nightmares assaulting me in the middle of the night, but luckily, thanks to you, this is the first untroubled sleep in a long time," I said.

She looked at me smiling.

"So did you sleep well?" I asked.

"Who said I'm finished?" she asked.

I smiled at her and remembered the events I wrote in The Book Keeper.

"I'll make us some coffee," I said and walked to the kitchen.

I made the coffee and took the 2 cups to the bedroom. Alazne lay awake under the blankets. I gave her a cup.

"Thank you," she said.

"Do you want some breakfast?" I asked.

"Who is going to make it?" she asked.

"Me," I said.

"Is it going to be safe to eat?" she asked smiling.

"Wow. That is very rude and insulting, but unfortunately all the poison in the house is finished. So I guess it will be," I said.

"In that case let me help you," she said.

"No, I'll manage alone," I said.

"I know, but the least I can do is to keep you company. Plus I can't let you commit a crime alone," she said.

"Okay, let's go," I said.

She got up and walked with me to the kitchen.

"So what do you want to eat?" I asked.

"Whatever you want to make," she said.

"Okay, some pancakes and cheese bacon scrambled eggs," I said.

"Okay, that sounds like a lot of work. I think I must help you," she said.

"Well if you really want to, I'll appreciate it," I said.

"Okay, where's the recipe for the pancakes?" she asked.

"There is some instant pancake mix in that cupboard," I said while pointing at the already open cupboard.

She took out the instant pancake mix and closed the cupboard door.

"Just add 2 eggs, 250 milliliter milk and 20 milliliter sunflower oil," she read on the label.

"Okay, let's begin," I said while taking out the eggs and milk out of the fridge.

"Where is the sunflower oil? Do you also keep it in this cupboard?" she asked pointing at the cupboard where she got the pancake mix.

"Yes, will you take it out please?" I asked.

"Of course," she said and took out the sunflower oil from the cupboard.

"Okay, you can read the instructions and I'll mix it," I said.

"All right, first mix the eggs and the milk together," she said.

I poured the milk in a mixing bowl.

"Wait, wait!" Alazne said.

"What? Did I already do something wrong?" I asked.

"No. I want you to cook as one of the celebrity chefs," she said.

I looked at her with a straight face.

"No way," I said.

"Yes, yes. Do Keith Wellington as he does it in his cooking show," she said.

I looked at her, smiled and shook my head.

"Okay, firstly I'm not able to swear that much, but let me just ask you a question first. Do you know why there is no apples in that fruit basket?" I asked while pointing at the empty fruit basket.

"Because you don't like fruit," she said.

"No! It's because my neighbor didn't thoroughly cook the bacon. And now the bloody pig came and ate my apples," I said in my best New York/Italian accent.

Alazne laughed.

"And I like apples," I said in my New York/Italian accent.

"Oh my word. You sound like one of those New York gangsters from the movies," she said chuckling.

"Okay so now I'm going to show you how to make a..." I said in my New York/Italian accent.

"What are we making again?" I asked in my normal accent.

"Pancakes and cheese bacon scrambled eggs," she said.

"Oh yes, thank you. You see sometimes even we celebrity chefs needs some assistance from a beautiful lady working behind the scenes," I said in my New York/Italian accent.

Alazne smiled at me and blew me a kiss as if she was part of the camera crew.

"But anyway, moving on. So, here we already poured the 250 millimeter milk in the mixing bowl. Now we will just add the 2 eggs," I said in my New York/Italian accent.

"Hopefully I can keep this eggshell free," I said in my normal accent concentrating more on the egg breaking than on the special accent.

"Hey, you are breaking character," she said.

"Well now. Look at that, I messed it up. There you have an egg shell in the mixing bowl. I actually hate to cook this dish, you want know why and what is my favorite dish?" I asked in my New York/Italian accent.

"Why and what?" Alazne asked.

"Because my name is Keith Wellington and I like to cook Beef Wellington," I said in my New York/Italian accent.

"He never said something like that," she said laughing.

"That is something of me you didn't know," I said in my New York/Italian accent.

Alazne continued laughing.

"On that note, thank you for watching. Cheers," I said in my New York/Italian accent.

"Wow, that was a weird, but very funny impression of Keith Wellington," she said smiling.

"Really?" I asked in my normal accent.

"Yes, really," she said.

"Well, go big or go home, so..." I said in my New York/Italian accent while walking up to her.

"Yes," she said smiling.

"So allow me... to break character even further," I said initially in my New York/Italian accent that turned into my normal accent.

I leaned towards her and she closed her eyes.

"So, why did the tiger run from here to New York and back?" I asked.

"Why?" she asked while opening her eyes slightly.

"Because he saw a beautiful tigress, named Alazne, on the other side," I said before kissing her.

"So am I the breakfast now?" she asked while my hand was on her cheek.

"Pretty much, yes," I said.

"I can see that, because my cheek is covered in raw egg," she said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize," I said.

She laughed while wiping it off with a tablecloth.

"There's no problem with that," she said before dipping her index finger in the egg mixture and drawing a heart on my cheek with her finger.

"We should finish cooking, otherwise we are never going to eat," I said.

"Yes. I am just quickly going to the restroom. Will be back now," she said.

"Okay," I said.

I continued to cook the breakfast. Alazne walked into the kitchen as soon as I finished.

"Breakfast is served," I said as I put the eggs and pancakes on the table.

"You are really testing my endurance skills with your novel," she said.

"Why?" I asked.

"For someone writing this top secret novel, you are kind of careless," she said.

"I don't understand," I said.

"You left the door open of the room where you keep the book. You could have at least closed it," she said.

"But I did lock it yesterday," I said shocked.

"Don't worry. I didn't go in and read it," she said.

I immediately walked to the study and confirmed if the book is still where I left it. I know for a fact that I did lock this room yesterday after putting the book in its place. Or maybe not, I have had so many things on my mind lately that I could have forgotten to lock the door. I should just be extra careful.

I locked the door, made sure it was properly locked and returned to Alazne.

Yesterday when we entered the house The Book Keeper was lying on the coffee table where I didn't leave it. And now the door which I think I locked yesterday was open. Is my memory failing me or is there someone else after this book?

Chapter 16

What is life? Life is the journey we are all traveling and death is the destination of life. How sad life must be then? And now someone told me the other day, there is life after death, so I guess the destination of that life is also death? To me it surely sounds like one agonizing ongoing cycle.

Here I am again invited into a place I'm getting quite used to – the church. I sat in the front row, dressed in a black suit with black sunglasses, next to Alazne who's dressed in white. Surrounded by friends and family members, I haven't seen in a long time, trying to express their sympathy for me. The stares from other people are really enough to suffocate me, instead of comforting. A candle is burning on a table next to the coffin. That is how I always classified life, as a candle burning, until it burns out. Some candles are short, other candles are longer. When all the wax melts and sticks to the table, then it is time to bury someone. White and pink orchid flowers resting on the black coffin whispers, 'I will always love you', softly in my ear. Tears are rolling down the church's walls. I do not find any of this in my favor. I just want to breakaway from this sorrow and find myself where I lost everything. Is it not sometimes necessary to lose yourself for a while? To let your sanity take a recess from reality and hoping the pain will also disappear? But the touch from an angel calms the storm that is trying to consume me. Alazne, you are truly a sweet reflection of how beautiful life can actually be. All I want to do is embrace her love, open her heart, crawl into her heart, find a soft corner for my head and stay there for an eternity.

A door at the front of the church opened and the priest walked into the church. I can't help but to question why God lets us go through this type of pain. It's funny how life is – if you laugh, the world laughs with you, but if you cry, you cry alone.

"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to pay our final tribute of respect to a friend, author and a father," the priest said as he looked at me.

The word 'father' usually symbolizes something caring, supporting and loving – someone you'll rather want to call 'daddy'. But in this circumstance it could have well been a new swear word. Or rather described as a flesh eating beast, mutilating your body with the purpose of feasting on your heart. This is the pain of separation. If I had one last wish I would use all this sorrow and heartache to build a path to heaven. Just a way that could be used for at least one time, so that I could tell you how much I love you, dad.

"To honor the memory of the late Evan Myers, let's all sing together on the funeral leaflet the song – For I know the plans I have for you," the priest said.

As the pianist started playing the intro on the piano, Alazne made me aware of her presence and support by holding my hand even tighter.

" _I try to unlock the golden door with my key of selfishness_

I hit the golden door with my hammer of stubbornness

But the gold fades away and the open wood door shows the dark uncertainty

God, You're the only One that beholds my life's master key

For I know the plans I have for you

God, there's a better place out there for me

For I know the plans I have for you

God, I'm looking for your answer to my mysterious destiny

You reform me with Your hands that saves

You rebuild me with Your bricks of faith

You revive me with Your words of verity

You refresh me with Your rain of purity

I break the window to determine destiny through my own power

I look through the broken window that blurs the unfamiliar sunflower

The glass is repaired and I can see blossoms growing on the almond tree

God, You're the only One that can reborn the life in me

For I know the plans I have for you

God, there's a better place out there for me

For I know the plans I have for you

God, I'm looking for your answer to my mysterious destiny

You reform me with Your hands that saves

You rebuild me with Your bricks of faith

You revive me with Your words of verity

You refresh me with Your rain of purity

I pray to God to decide what's best for you

Even if it means that you'll go away

I'll respect it because He knows what's best to do

We'll be sad, your memory fades into gray

For I know the plans I have for you

God, there's a better place out there for me

For I know the plans I have for you

God, I'm looking for your answer to my mysterious destiny

You reform me with Your hands that saves

You rebuild me with Your bricks of faith

You revive me with Your words of verity

You refresh me with Your rain of purity," the church sang.

Throughout the song it sounded like someone whispered something, but I was not able to hear what it was.

"John 14: Verse 1 to 4. Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, there where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going," the priest read.

Once again between the Bible verses I heard a whisper interrupting my hearing, but still I could not make out what it was. I looked around at the people trying to figure who was whispering. Everyone was focused on the priest.

"What's wrong?" Alazne asked.

"Did you also hear someone whispering something?" I asked.

"No," she said.

"Ecclesiastes 3: verses 1 and 2. For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted," the priest read.

"Let us pray," the priest said.

Just before the priest started praying the pianist provided comforting background music.

"Oh, Great God," the priest prayed.

Immediately his prayer was overpowered by an angel song. The unclear whispering soon cut through the angel voices. Finally the whispering became clearer by the word. And in between all this sorrow I heard a comforting whisper say: 'I'm sorry for your loss, Matthew. Your dad is happy'. Suddenly my dad appeared and smiled one last time at me. In his smile I saw he was really a happy man. In his happiness I accepted the situation for what it was. There is nothing else to be done here, but to let go. I am grateful for the time I could have spend with my dad. He started waving goodbye at me.

"Amen. Amen. Amen," the priest finished the prayer and the vision of him blew away.

I put my arm around Alazne. She looked at me as if she wanted to ask if I was okay. I smiled at her. She smiled back at me. In her smile I saw she was happy. I held her tighter. She laid her head on my shoulder. And in her happiness I finally accepted the sacrifices of my dad and the situation for what it was.

Chapter 17

Seconds turned into minutes. Letters turned into words. Minutes turned into hours. Words turned into sentences. Hours turned into days. Sentences turned into paragraphs. Days turned into weeks. Paragraphs turned into chapters. Weeks escalated into months which evolved into years. In my head words soon disappeared and I was left for hours staring at blank pages, trying to fight off my own form of writer's block. I have invested a lot of time in this book, but it is something I strongly believe in. Some people will label this as time wasting. Will I do this again if I get the chance? Absolutely, because converting time into words, pouring it into her heart and seeing her shining with happiness is so much more than an eternity of hollow years.

Today is 19 June 2015. 4 years in total has passed since I met Alazne and we are still going strong. I committed myself to write this book everyday. Some days fighting fatigue due to being overworked and other days fighting against her finding out what the book is about. Needless to say I got through it all without her finding out what the book is about.

In the time that passed she was appointed as an editor at a publishing company. I left my job as a paramedic to put my focus on the bar I wanted open. Together me and Alazne grew as time went by, celebrating everything together.

So much time has been lost, but I decided to take some more time today and just reflect on the last 4 years I had the privilege to spend with Alazne. I believe you must be grateful for what you have achieved in life, but most importantly remember from where you came from and what you did to prosper. So I shall use this time as a reflection of what I have left to appreciate and also to cherish the moments we had.

*********

10 October 2011

Today Alazne is welcomed to another beautiful day. Today is the day, 'The Lighthouse', Matthew's bar, opens for business. At about 2 pm Matthew opened the door for business.

The lighthouse is decorated with an old fishing net hanging above the new tables and chairs, an old boat's wheel hanging on the wall, a few indoor plants that brings a little modern life to the building, an old piano with a few broken keys serving as an art piece stood in the corner, the walls were painted with a fresh coat of ocean blue paint and the lightning consisted of candles and a few lava lamps. Above all this, the air is filled with soft piano music and the sounds of splashing waves, a slow breeze and seagull screeching.

There are a few customers sitting and enjoying the calm atmosphere the place adds to their lives. Alazne came into the bar and greeted Matthew.

"So you left the piano here?" Alazne asked while looking at the piano.

"Yes, it fits here," Matthew said.

"Is it still broken?" she asked.

"Yes, but I am still going to get it fixed," he said.

*********

Alazne stayed the entire night with me as 'The Lighthouse' got busier by the moment. I got that piano fixed and started to practice a little when business got quiet. Soon I was able to play a few well known classical songs on the piano.

*********

25 December 2011

It's a cloud filled morning and the sun is playing hide and seek. Rain is gently falling down from the heavens. The thunder lit up the house with a soft but sudden blue light while the windows rattled from the power hitting the earth.

In the living room there is a Christmas tree, shining with all the little lights accompanied by red and gold decorations, that were assembled the evening before while Alazne was sleeping. Under the tree there was only one gift, wrapped and sealed, with 'Alazne' written on it with a black marker. Outside in the rain the weather is cold and wet, but inside the house it is warm and comforting. Matthew started with breakfast as Alazne slept. After a while she woke up to the smell of a fresh English breakfast.

"What is going on in the living room?" a yawning Alazne asked as she entered the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas," Matthew said before giving her a 'merry' morning kiss.

"Didn't I tell you we never celebrated Christmas in my house?" she asked.

"Yes, I remember. And I agree with you, it has turned into a money making day. People do tend to forget what it is really about. I believe it should be remembered for what it is there for, but it is also there to spend time with people you love," he said.

She smiled at him.

"Come on. Open your gift," he said as he took the gift from the tree and gave it to her.

"I don't have a gift for you," she said sadly.

"Well, apparently Santa Claus said I was too naughty for a present this year. So be it," I said smiling.

"I'm serious. I feel really bad now," she said.

"Don't because you already gave me the best gift ever," he said.

"And that is?" she asked.

"You decided to spend the day here with me. That is best gift ever. Now open your present," he said.

She carefully removed the gift paper and opened the heart shaped box. There were all different kinds of small chocolates in the box.

"Thank you," she said smiling.

"You are welcome," he said.

*********

As I can recall correctly everything happened as I wrote except a few differences in the conversations. I ended up as a chocolate eating assistant that day. Alazne told me she would feel better, about not buying me a gift, if I helped her to finish the box chocolates.

The following Christmas there were 2 gifts under the tree, one with my name on. She bought me a gift every Christmas that followed.

*********

18 June 2012

Today it is the anniversary of the passing of Alazne's favorite author and Matthew's father, the late Evan Myers or maybe better known for some as Charlie Echoes. Matthew invited Alazne over to honor his father's memory in the form of a game that needs no introduction in the household. A game called Canasta. This is the first time the game has been played since his father's passing.

A big deck of cards consisting of 3 packs of cards and two cups of coffee on a table welcomed Alazne into the living room.

"What are we doing here?" Alazne asked.

"Well, usually it was whiskey, but I replaced it with coffee this time," Matthew said.

She chuckled.

"I'm talking about the cards. Are we playing poker on a big scale tonight?" she asked.

"No, not really. Please take a seat," he said formally.

"Okay," she said and sat down next to the table.

"Allow me to introduce a game called Canasta. We used to play it as a family," he said smiling.

"Okay, teach me then what this is about," she said.

Matthew explained all the rules to her. Alazne didn't understand everything immediately which is understandable, but he was patient with her. As soon as the game started Matthew put a queen of hearts face up in front of him. Alazne did not immediately bother to ask what the reason for the face up card was.

"So every turn we throw a card out?" she asked.

"Yes, we do," he said.

"So why don't you get rid of that queen of hearts then? It seems that you have no use for it," she said.

"Why do you think that?" he asked.

"It is just lying there. You are not using it," she said.

Matthew brought the card closer to him.

"I'm not going to get rid of the queen of my heart. She is very special to me. I'll think I'll call her Alazne," he said smiling.

She smiled back at him.

*********

Things didn't exactly happen the way I wrote. As soon as I told her I'm not going to throw the queen of my heart away she followed my example and put a king of hearts in front of her. Alazne convinced me to let the king and queen of hearts join each other in the pile of thrown out cards. She cleverly deceived me by buying the entire pack of thrown out cards and using the king and queen to complete her strings. She is as clever as she is gorgeous.

We played a few rounds and drank a few cups of coffee before we got tired. This activity connected us even more – serving its cause for what my father intended it to do. But until this day, she is still the queen of my heart.

We played Canasta every year on 18 June, I won some games and she won some games. This game brought us closer again if we drifted too far away from each other.

The following day I took her out for dinner to celebrate our 1 year anniversary. It is a funny situation, the one day you mourn the death of someone and the next day you celebrate the love you share with someone else. But like my father once said, life is not fair, but it is very very interesting.

*********

14 May 2013

At about 6pm Matthew arrived at Alazne's apartment. She opened the door for him. He greeted her with a kiss.

"Are you ready to go?" Matthew asked.

"Go? Where?" Alazne asked.

"It's a surprise," he said.

"Okay," she said and got in his car.

"You know this is such a big surprise that I need to blindfold you," he said.

"Okay, but it is just because I trust you," she said.

He blindfolded her and he drove out of the city while they kept each other company. After a while of traveling they stopped.

"Now don't peak okay," he said.

"Okay," she said.

He got out of the car, stayed away for a brief moment and then returned.

"Okay let's go," he said.

"Can I take the blindfold off now?" she asked.

"No, not yet. I'll carry you," he said.

He picked her up and carried her to the destination. The terrain he walked on was uneven, but he made sure not to let her fall. He put her down and took her blindfold off.

They were on a small hill looking out over the city's lights. There was a blanket, with a cake and a few small candles, laid out on the green grass. The area around them was lit up by the moonlight and the stars.

"Happy birthday," he said.

She turned around towards him.

"You remembered!" she said excited.

"How can I forget?" I asked.

"Thank you so much," she said.

"You're welcome," he said.

*********

We celebrated her birthday by eating cake and lying down on the blanket to stare at the stars. So many stars in the sky and so many people in the world, but only one star shined the brightest that night. The only person that mattered the world to me – Alazne.

All the candles burned out. The cake that was left was soon covered in ants. I ended up throwing away the blanket because it was covered in wax. But my love for her kept burning like a new candle, my love for her was still as sweet as the cake and she left a permanent mark on my heart just like the candles did on the blanket.

We celebrated our birthdays every year. Every year she arranged a surprise for me and I did the same for her.

*********

2 August 2013

Alazne went to Matthew's house after a stressful day at work. Matthew was already at 'The Lighthouse', but he left a note for her on the table at the door. She picked up the note and read it.

'Alazne I am at 'The Lighthouse', I ran a bubble bath for you

I hope it is still warm when you read this

Enjoy and relax

I love you

Matthew'

Alazne walked into the bathroom. The smell of lavender was hanging in the steam that was rising from the bubble bath. On the bath's edge there are scented candles contributing to the relaxation session. Some clean fresh towels are set out for her. It was just like a hotel, but better because she was at home.

Alazne relaxed in the bubble bath.

*********

That specific evening I can remember I received a phone call from her after she arrived home. I could hear in the beginning of the conversation she had a bad day behind her, but the more we talked the more she relaxed. We were born with five different senses, but just by hearing her voice all the other senses were enlightened.

*********

19 June 2014

Matthew and Alazne woke up today to celebrate their 3 year anniversary. There is simply no better way of celebrating a relationship than seeing your someone special before you go to sleep and after you wake up.

"How about a trip down memory lane?" Matthew asked.

"What do you mean?" Alazne asked.

"We go back to where we met and what we did through that specific day," he said.

"Can you remember all of that?" she asked.

"Yes, I can," he said.

"How? Explain," she said.

"I can remember very well. It is as if my brain wrote all the events down, like a diary," he said smiling.

She shook her head and smiled back at him.

"Okay, let's do it," she said.

They traveled with her 'Draven Master' to the intersection where they first met 3 years ago. They stood there for a while as cars drove past them.

"So this is where I fell because of you, but also for you," he said.

She smiled at him.

"What will you always remember about the day we met here?" she asked.

"There is so much, but I guess it would be the song that played on your car's radio," he said.

"What song?" she asked.

"The song 'Stay with me' from 'The Zero Hour Project'. It complemented your beauty so much. Everything was so perfect," he said.

"I didn't even hear that song. I was so worried about you. I thought you were really injured," she said.

"I just couldn't interrupt the most beautiful moment in my life," he said as he brushed his hand through her hair.

"Well, I knew my worrying was not in vain as soon as I decided to stay with you," she said smiling.

"And I am grateful you did stay with me," he said.

They proceeded from there to the coffee shop where they enjoyed a cup of coffee and each other's company.

*********

Everything happened exactly like I wrote in the book. Only thing that bugged me was Brian giving me some aggressive stares. I have no idea what his problem was. We did sort our differences out after he thought I did something to Alazne when she was hospitalized. Well, I guess not everyone you meet will accept you. I may be able to control Alazne's actions, but I cannot do anything for him to like me.

We ate at the same restaurant we did 3 years ago. The restaurant looked different, but it felt like the first time me and Alazne met.

Tonight we are going to play Canasta again just as I wrote in the book. I'm just not sure what tricks she will pull out of the hat this time.

I finished the events of tomorrow which will be our 4 year anniversary.

Chapter 18

19 June 2015

As Alazne opened the door of the house there was a rose pedal path laid out for her that lead to the bedroom. She followed the path and went into the bedroom. On the bed there was an elegant red dress exactly in her size. By the dress was a note. She picked up the note and read it.

'Get ready

Put this dress on

Meet me at 'The Lighthouse'

at 7 pm

I love you

Matthew'

Alazne got ready, dressed and proceeded to the lighthouse. There was a sign on the door of the lighthouse saying the place was closed for a private function.

*********

"Hello?" Alazne asked as she opened the door.

"Hello, Alazne," I greeted.

Alazne stared around her. A path of rose pedals lead to the piano. The place was decorated by more candles than usual.

"Why are you closed?" she asked.

"It is a special occasion for only me and you," I said as I took her hand.

I lead her to the chair that was in front of the piano. She sat down. I walked towards the piano and sat at the keys.

"This is especially for you," I said before I started playing a few notes on the piano.

Soon I finished the intro of the song and started to sing.

" _You are the lighthouse cutting through the darkness of the ocean_

Bringing home a once lost vessel in the hands of a great storm

Your warmth comforts me in the coldest night

Chasing away the demons that was my only light

Once upon a time I was drowning in the dark water

But you stopped me from being my own martyr

Together we persevere and in hardships we break through

Was always on the search for love and finally found it in you

Even when things get unbearably harder

When life decides to make living tougher

I'll give you everything that I can offer

I'll stay with you through hell or high water

I am the rock you can lean on when the ocean rages

Protecting you from waves knocking on your walls

When the tide increases I'll help you to higher ground

I'll catch you when life starts to push you around

There was a time I was burning in the fiery hell

But you freed me from captivity in my own cell

Together we persevere and in hardships we break through

Was always on the search for love and finally found it in you

Even when things get unbearably harder

When life decides to make living tougher

I'll give you everything that I can offer

I'll stay with you through hell or high water

It is only you who can calm the stormy water

It is only you who can put out the hellish fire

So as the last wave crashes and the last flame flashes

It is still your face I see between the fog and the ashes

Once upon a time I found solace as I held you close

And I knew everything will be okay as the sun rose

Together we persevere and in hardships we break through

Was always on the search for love and finally found it in you

Even when things get unbearably harder

When life decides to make living tougher

I'll give you everything that I can offer

I'll stay with you through hell or high water," I sang.

I went around the piano and walked towards her.

"So I'll stay with you through hell or high water," I said.

She smiled with tears of happiness in her eyes. This is the happiest look she ever had on her face.

"Will you do me the honor of going through hell or high water with me?" I asked while taking her hand in mine.

"Will you be my heart keeper and marry me?" I asked while putting the ring on her finger.

The tears of happiness rolled down her cheeks, but disappeared as it came close to her smile.

"Yes, I will," she stammered through her emotions.

I kissed her and gave her a warm embrace. She stayed in my arms until her emotions subsided and made way for a comfortable silence between us. We held each other until some of the candles burned out.

"I better call my aunt and uncle to break the news," she said.

"Imagine how jealous everyone is going to be when I have the only Alazne in the world by my side," I said.

"What gives you the idea that I'm the only Alazne in the world?" she asked.

"Well firstly Alazne is like a really rare name, I believe that name came from Spain," I said.

"That is correct," she said.

"Secondly I know that if there's another Alazne in the world, which you already know I doubt, she won't be nearly as beautiful as you are," I said.

"Aw thank you," she said smiling.

"And thirdly. You truly are a miracle in my life. The Alazne of my life," I said.

"Aw. How did you know that Alazne means miracle?" she asked.

"I can speak Spanish," I said confidently.

"You're lying," she said.

"Oh, you think I'm lying? Well allow me to say something in Spanish then," I said trying to sound as confident as possible.

"Please go ahead," she said.

"Okay, you asked for it," I said before taking out my cell phone.

"What are you doing now?" she asked.

"Just give me a second I'll be with you now," I said.

I went into my translation application on my phone and selected the English to Spanish translation option. Alazne looked at me as if I was crazy.

"So where is the Spanish?" she asked.

"Just a second," I said.

I entered 'you are beautiful' on my cell phone and it gave me a translation result as 'eres hermosa'. Now I can't speak a single Spanish word, but I tried as if I could.

"Eres hermosa," I said.

Even to me it sounded incorrect as soon as I said it.

"And what does that mean?" she asked smiling.

"You are beautiful," I said.

"Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome," I said.

"Say something else in Spanish," she said.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Anything, but say something longer. It sounds so sweet when you talk foreign languages," she said.

"Okay," I said.

Once again I used the translation application on my phone. I entered 'I want to spend every moment of my life with you' and then I got shocking display of words; 'quiero pasar cada momento de mi vida contigo'. From that moment that I saw those words I knew that this was going to be a disaster.

"Ka ero... pasar cada... momento... de mi... vida... contego. Bloody hell," I said stuttering as I looked down on my phone each time to see what the next word is.

I could see Alazne suppressing the urge to burst out with laughter.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Oh yes, I said I want to spend every moment of my life with you," I said.

"It didn't sound like that," she said.

"Okay so if you say that's wrong, please let me hear how you would pronounce it," I said.

"Really? You want to hear? " she asked.

"Yes, be my guest," I said.

"Okay. Quiero pasar cada momento de mi vida contigo," she said.

I didn't know how it was supposed to be pronounced, but when she said it, it sounded perfect.

"Wow, that sounded..." I said before she cut my sentence short.

"Perfect? Or must I say perfecto?" she asked.

"It seems that I have competition?" I asked.

"Sí, pero el problema es que no tengo ninguna necesidad de utilizar un Inglés al traductor de español al móvil," she said perfectly.

"Yes, I am glad to hear that you also think that you are going to lose," I said randomly.

She laughed.

"That is not what I said," she said.

"I could swear that I heard you say that, but if so what did you say then?" I asked.

"You don't speak Spanish, do you?" she asked.

"I do, I just understood it differently," I said.

"Well, then ask your translator on your cell phone what it means then. It is your tool for speaking Spanish?" she asked before laughing.

"Busted! Well anyway if you can spell it for me, I can check what it means," I said with my cell phone in my hand and smiling at her.

"Okay it is f o r g e t," she said and spelled.

"Forget? That's English," I said.

"Correct, forget about that," she said before removing the cell phone from my hand.

"Okay," I said before she kissed me.

She lay in my arms.

"Where did you learn to speak Spanish like that? And to even speak it without a translator?" I asked.

"I took Spanish classes at school. My name is from Spanish descent, so I decided to learn it," she said.

"If the Spanish language can produce a beautiful name like Alazne, then it must be worth it to learn," I said.

"Thank you. Now that we are talking about that again, we both know that you can't speak Spanish, right?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm guilty," I said.

"So where did you see my name means 'miracle'?" she asked.

"Well I think I read it somewhere, but I did follow it up and I learned that the Internet is a very powerful tool," I said.

She burst out with laughter.

"Did you really search my name on the Internet?" she asked.

"Yes, it's an interesting name. Got my attention immediately. Do you know how I struggled to pronounce your name at first?" I said.

"No, you didn't," she said.

"Yes, I'm just joking," I said.

She chuckled.

"You know what I like the most about our relationship?" she asked.

"What?" I asked.

"I love the fact that we can talk a bunch of nonsense and I would know I don't want to be anywhere else," she said.

"Yes, anywhere is great as long it is with you," I said.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too," I said.

Suddenly Alazne's cell phone rang.

"It is my aunt. Perfect opportunity to break the good news," she said as she looked at her ring.

She answered it, but the happiness on her face soon faded away.

"No! When?" Alazne asked hysterically on her cell phone.

"Okay, thank you," she said as the tears formed slowly in her eyes.

She terminated the call.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"My..." she said before exploding into tears.

I held her closer to me and solaced her.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"My uncle passed away," she sobbed through the emotional pain.

"I'm sorry," I said.

I held her until she stopped shaking and crying.

"I hate to see you like this," I said.

"I know, but thank you so much for being there for me. You really are my rock," she said.

We proceeded home. Alazne was sad and I was left confused.

I didn't write this to happen to her in the book. I'll never wish any sadness over her. If I protected her from pain in the last 4 years, how did this suddenly slip through?

Chapter 19

We arrived at my house.

"I'm tired. I'm going to bed," she said.

"Okay, sleep well," I said.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"Just need to check something," I said.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm coming now," I said before kissing her goodnight.

"Okay," she said before going to the bedroom.

I immediately went to the study to see what was happening in The Book Keeper. I opened the book and paged through it. I stopped at today's events to see what is written. Maybe I'm going insane, writing things I can't remember.

Suddenly the book fell out of my hands due to the shock. The entire day's writing is written in someone else's handwriting and it is exactly written in the way things happened. Even the conversations we had are exactly written down in the book. Someone or something rewrote this piece. That somebody must still be somewhere in the house – we are not alone here. Was this a setup? Does he want to hurt Alazne?

I made my way to the bedroom and pushed the door open with force.

"And now?" Alazne asked frightened.

I looked in the wardrobe and under the bed.

"Are you okay?" she asked concerned.

"Um. Have you seen my cell phone?" I asked.

"I think you put on the coffee table in the living room," she said.

"Okay, thank you," I said calmly.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm good thank you. I just didn't wanted to go back to the bar to look for my cell phone," I said.

She stared at me.

"You scared me," she said.

"I'm sorry. Go to sleep, okay," I said before giving her a kiss.

I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me. Maybe that person is not in the bedroom, but somewhere else in the house. Where was the point of entry? I ran to the kitchen and took out a steak knife out of the drawer. The kitchen windows were not broken and the back door was still locked. I proceeded to search the rest of the house and making sure there was no break in. No one is in the house and there is no sign of someone gaining entry.

After checking I sat down with the book again. I tried to think what could have happened, but a cold shiver ran down my spine and I proceeded to recheck the entire house again. Still nothing found. I was not really scared, but I wanted to know what was going on.

I returned to the living room.

"Well, this is very strange," I said.

I took the book to the living room, placed it on my lap, but sat as still as a mouse. Just looking around and listening for any movement or sound. The house was haunted by silence. More silence than usual.

I opened the book and paged through it. Every single word I wrote in the book was rewritten exactly the way it happened on the respective days. To rewrite everything, 4 years of content, in a few hours is simply not humanly possible. I can't help but to think this is not someone, but rather something. Some kind of a curse? Can this be the work of a ghost? I am the writer and he is the editor – the unwanted editor.

"I guess I'll just call it my 'ghost editor'," I said.

"Would you like that, Mr Ghost?" I asked.

Clearly this thing is out to do more harm than good when the first event it adds is the death of a loved one. I'll need to keep the book with me, just for Alazne's protection.

I concluded the events for tomorrow, took the book to the bedroom, placed it under the bed and lied down next to Alazne. She turned around towards me.

"I need to go to my aunt to arrange the funeral," she said.

"When do you want to go?" I asked.

"Maybe the day after tomorrow," she said.

"Okay, I'll go with you," I said.

"No it is not necessary," she said.

"You were there for me when I needed you, so I'll be there for you now," I said.

"Thank you," she said and lay closer to me.

I lay next to her willing to not fall asleep and determined to find the being responsible for editing my work. I held her in my arms and soon she fell asleep. I touched her shoulder and felt the bump where the pacemaker is doing its work from. My mind was dwelling between theories. I have to find out how the heart disease started.

Every breath Alazne exhaled into the silence of the night calmed me down. As long as she is here with me there will always be a sunrise tomorrow. I kept my eyes open for a long time, but finally gave in. As my eyes closed all the question faded away. All except one. Can it be that the cause for her broken heart was also written by Mr Ghost himself?

Chapter 20

I met Alazne's aunt, a humble and soft person. Before meeting her I already knew she is a wonderful person because I can see her reflection in Alazne. Maybe the apple really does not fall far from the tree. I saw photos of Alazne's uncle, giving away a true leader vibe. The heartache of his passing did not have a direct impact on me, but the tears of Alazne had an impact on me. I solaced her by talking to her, sometimes listening to her and other times just by being close to her surrounded by no words – as long as she knew I was there to be her rock. Another funeral, another closed coffin, another open grave and a stream of tears turned into black ink on white paper. No, I was not responsible for all this terrible events to happen. I dragged the book along with me to aunt Betty's house, I still wrote in it every day and the words still changed into the specific events. Some evenings I took off into the night, traveled to a remote location and sat in the night staring at the book until I fell asleep. As soon as I woke up everything has been changed – from the order of the words to some words replaced with their synonyms. I can't help but to think this 'ghost' has some kind of hatred towards me. If it ever happened that I didn't feel like a real writer I can now find comfort in the fact that I have my own personal editor.

We said our goodbyes and returned home. I could feel how heavy Alazne's heart was and how she started to push me away like two magnets.

"Alazne?" I asked.

"Yes?" she asked.

"How about we go away for a while?" I asked.

"Where do you want to go?" she asked.

"What do you think about Maui, Hawaii?" I asked.

"It sounds good. What is there to do?" she asked.

"It's so beautiful there. We can take a helicopter tour over the island. Go on a cocktail cruise on the Pride of Maui. Take a ride on the road to Hana with the green mountain on one side and the blue ocean on the other side. Enjoy the extraordinary cuisine. And last, but not least, we can gaze at the most beautiful sunrise the world has to offer on the Haleakala mountain," I said.

"Just like the dream," she said smiling.

"Better than that," I said.

"Okay. Let's go," she said.

I arranged everything. We were scheduled for a 2 week stay at a hotel in Maui. Bags were packed, leave form was filled in, The Lighthouse had a reliable manager and the house was locked. We arrived at the airport with half an hour to spare.

"Good day, here is our tickets for the 7 pm flight to Maui," I said while handing our tickets to the customer service agent.

"It feels like I should wear one of those Hawaiian flower necklaces," I said to Alazne.

"I also got that idea. We'll each have one when we return," Alazne said.

The customer service agent smiled at us.

"It's called a lei," the customer service agent said.

"Pardon me?" I asked.

"The flower necklace is called a lei," the customers service agent said.

"Okay then we'll both have a lei when we return," I said.

"I'm afraid your flight has been delayed. The departure time will only be at 8 pm," she said.

"Okay," I said.

"We apologize for the inconvenience, Sir. You may sit on the chairs or enjoy a coffee at our cafeteria," she said.

"It's okay, thank you," I said.

Alazne and I went to the cafeteria and we both enjoyed a cup of coffee in favor of what would be a minor delay for the normal person. For me it is a major problem, taking into consideration that I didn't write this to happen. I have to ask myself if this really is a ghost. Is it not something simple that could be described by the word called 'fate'? This is actually supposed to give me a sense of relieve. This just takes one more responsibility off my shoulders.

We soon moved from the cafeteria to the waiting area in the airport. After another few minutes we boarded the plane and were well on our way to Hawaii.

After watching a movie, listening to a few songs, staring out of the window into the big world, holding Alazne's hand in some minor turbulence and a fight with my sleepy eyes we finally landed at the Kahului airport. From there we took a rental car to our hotel. It was 10 o'clock at night local time. We were both tired from the traveling even though it was not that long. Alazne lay next to me in bed. The Book Keeper is filled with tomorrow's events. I am on the brink of falling asleep.

"Are we going to watch the famous Hawaiian sunrise?" I asked.

"Yes, that is a good idea," she said.

"We'll have to leave here at 3 in the morning," I said.

"Okay, then we'll have to go to sleep right now," she said.

"Yes, goodnight," I said.

"Goodnight," she said before kissing me goodnight.

We fell asleep...

The alarm went off, but I just dismissed it and went back to sleep. Alazne turned around and laid her head on my chest. We went to sleep again...

The sun tickled my eyes through my eyelids as soon as it sneaked through the blinds. I opened my eyes and looked at my watch. It was already 8 am. We missed the sunrise. I got up from bed, took The Book Keeper out of my suitcase and opened it at today's events. Once again as I could have expected the events were rewritten. I can't help but to think this is just fate. I can suggest what should happen, but what is supposed to happen does prevail at the the end. Only strange thing is why now all of the sudden?

In the book the 'ghost' wrote that we are to have breakfast in Paia the town and then to travel on the 'Road to Hana'. That sounds terrific. I think this is what we'll do today. Maybe this 'ghost' is not out to do harm anyway.

"What are you doing?" Alazne asked.

I closed the book immediately.

"Are you working on your book again?" she asked.

"Yes, I find your resting beauty inspiring," I said.

"Okay. So what are we doing today? Since we both overslept," she said.

"I think we should go on the 'Road to Hana'. What do you think?" I asked.

"Sounds wonderful," she said.

We got dressed and traveled to Paia to have breakfast. Most of the meals were familiar to me, but a few had me curious. Poi – is made from the taro root. This paste has a unique taste. A delicious starchy, but slightly sour flavor. Traditional Loco Moco – white rice, topped with a hamburger patty, a fried egg and brown gravy. Laulau – is made from the taro leaves. Chicken, pork or fish is wrapped in the taro leaves and cooked in a hot rock oven until it is soft with a smoky flavor. The meat is left tender and juicy while the leaves have a spinach like texture. Kalua pig – pork cooked in an imu leaving the pork tender with a smoky flavor. Served with rice. Poke – your choice of saltwater fish is cut into chunks and served raw with soy sauce, Hawaiian sea salt, sweet Maui onions and limu. Lomi Salmon – raw salmon cured with salt are diced along with tomatoes, onions and chili peppers (optional). Chicken long rice – clear mung bean noodles is cooked in chicken soup.

After reading all this, I was left with a slight headache and a watering mouth. There was also the normal everyday breakfasts like bacon and eggs, but who wants to eat that when you have access to so many unique dishes.

Alazne ordered a Chicken Laulau and I ordered the Traditional Loco Moco. The food was delicious. Alazne and I took turns tasting each other's food. If a day can start on a high note like this, imagine what will happen the rest of the day.

"So onto the Road to Hana now?" I asked after we finished our breakfast.

"Yes, but let's first go to a supermarket. I want to buy something to eat for the road," Alazne said.

"Okay," I said.

We proceeded to a small shopping center. Alazne got some cool drink and snacks for the road. We proceeded to the till point.

"Also one of these," Alazne said as she took a cd from the shelf at the till.

"Ukie and Gita, Greatest Hits," I read on the album cover.

"Yes, what is a Hawaiian without a few ukulele and guitar songs?" she asked.

"Okay, it sounds good," I said.

With the sounds of a ukulele and a guitar we took the Road to Hana on. This holiday can't get more Hawaiian than this. We proceeded to the Ho'okipa lookout. The most beautiful waves greeted us at our first stop. There are a few surfers taking on the waves and others, floating around on the water, waiting for the perfect one to arrive. I thought the beaches where I came from were beautiful, but surely Hawaiian beaches are much more beautiful.

"Shall we proceed to our next stop?" I asked after a while of observing the different stunts the surfers were performing.

"Yes, let's go," Alazne said smiling.

We got in the car and took down a few more miles on our journey. Alazne's happiness was over the top and that in return it made me happy. Soon we arrived at the Ho'olawa Valley. We walked on the paths that lead to the different waterfalls. First we found the lower waterfalls which were small, but unique in their own way. At every waterfall Alazne and I spent a few minutes taking in the beauty and some others savoring a kiss. Deeper into the valley we found one of the most popular waterfalls in Maui, Twin Falls. The two streams falls separately from their individual paths. It doesn't matter where they started, in the end their destination is to be together. This is so close to life, so close to my life.

"This waterfall is very special to me," I said.

"Why?" Alazne asked.

"It reminds of myself and us," I said.

"Explain," she said smiling.

I put my arm around her and held her closer to me.

"Just like the flowing water I was racing through my life falling here and there, but still racing on. But on that final fall that is when I met you. I didn't how your path lead you to me, but finally I was left in the pool, calm in your presence. I finally had a reason to stop running the never ending race," I said.

"I love you," she said smiling.

"I love you too," I said and kissed her.

We took the path back to our car and proceeded on the road. Alazne flew into me and flew into her. The feelings I had of her pushing me away were replaced by her embracing my love again. This destination is one to cherish. After a few more miles we arrived at the Garden of Eden. The colors in the garden were amazing. It looked like a painting, we were surrounded by the greenest grass and colorful flowers. In the distance you could see the bluest ocean with the cotton white clouds hovering over the water. If I was a painter you would find me every day of the week in this garden. I wonder if the flowers were always so beautiful or do they die in the winter months?

"Let's have a picnic right here on the grass," Alazne said.

"Okay," I said.

We enjoyed the picnic on the green grass in the picturesque Garden of Eden. The beauty of this place really lives up to its name.

"If you ever wonder what effect you have on my life, just remember this place. Because you brought the brightest colors into my life," she said.

I smiled at her.

"This picture speaks so much more than all the words in the world. Thank you for bringing me here," she said.

This is the deepest appreciation someone has ever given me. Those words came directly from the deepest section in her heart. After another while painting the memory of the Garden of Eden we were back on the road again. This part of the world is so beautiful. On the one side it is a mountain covered by a blanket of green plants, grass and trees. On the other side it is the blue ocean going on for miles and miles. The beauty is endless. Having Alazne here by my side takes all the beauty up a notch. We soon reached the Halfway to Hana Stand where we stopped to buy some goods. In the shop I found some of the best banana bread I have ever tasted. After a short while of leg stretching we took the road on again. After a while we reached the Hana Lava Tube. We walked through the long cave formed by the lava that flew towards the ocean almost 1000 years ago. After that we went to the Wai'anapanapa State Park. We walked on the famous Pa'iloa Beach with its black pebbles. Alazne took some of the pebbles and placed them in her pocket. When I was a child we used this kind of pebbles for decorations in our house. After spending time on the beach we arrived at our destination, Hana. To tell the truth, in my opinion the Road to Hana is better than Hana itself.

"It's getting quite late. We won't be able to travel this road in the dark," Alazne said.

"Yes, do you want to go back to our hotel?" I asked.

"No, let's just stay over at the Travaasa Hotel here in Hana," she said.

"No. Let's go back. We don't have clothes or anything here," I said.

"I packed a bag. I brought clothes, toothbrushes and toothpaste," she said.

I looked at her agitated. The Book Keeper is still in my hotel room and nothing is filled in for tomorrow.

"Don't worry I brought your things too," she said.

"We can't stay here, trust me," I said.

She smiled at me.

"Come on. Let's go to the Travaasa Hotel. Everything will be fine," she said.

"Okay," I said.

We took a bath, we ate and we got in bed. Alazne immediately went to sleep. I was extremely tired, but I couldn't allow myself to go to sleep. If history repeats itself I won't be able to forgive myself. I almost lost her once, I don't want to go through that again. The only way to protect her is to avoid falling asleep and to make sure she is breathing the entire time. I have lost control of the story. Will the 'ghost' help me out this time around?

Chapter 21

The entire evening I fought with the sandman. I did succeed in this task by walking around in the room, sitting upright, worrying on what actions I would take if something happens to Alazne and drinking an endless amount of coffee. Most of the time I concentrated on her breathing and once in a while I also checked her pulse. It is amazing how a person reacts when they lose control of a situation.

As soon as Alazne woke up the kettle was already boiling and I was ready for my 8th cup of coffee.

"Are you up already?" Alazne asked.

"Yes, how are you feeling?" I asked.

"Um... good and you?" she asked.

"Good. It will even be better after this cup of coffee," I said.

I poured 2 sachets of coffee in the cup and added the boiling water.

"You look tired. Did you go on a coffee rampage?" she asked.

"No, why do you ask that?" I asked.

"Well, there are a lot of empty sachets in the dustbin and I know I didn't drink it," she said.

"I couldn't sleep. So are we going to finish our Hana trip today?" I asked.

"Yes, are you okay to drive?" she asked.

"Never better," I said.

We got dressed, had a breakfast and traveled to our next location, Kipahulu Valley in Haleakala National Park. We took the 2 mile hike on the Pipiwai trail with stunning scenery. Once again my eyes were filled with this majestic place. Beautiful ocean views from bridges making my sleepiness fade away. Magnificent freshwater pools, some of them equipped with their own little waterfall, so much better than anyone's backyard swimming pool. We saw the restless waters of the 184 feet Makahiku Fall from a distance, even from far it was still something to see. From there we went into the bamboo forest. Alazne began taking in deep breaths as we walked.

"Are you okay?" I asked concerned.

"Yes, I'm good. I never realized how unfit I was," Alazne said.

"Are you sure it is just that?" I asked.

"Yes, there is nothing wrong," she said.

I kept one eye on the path and the other eye on her. The wind was pushing lightly against the 30 foot bamboo. The deeper we went into the forest the thicker the bamboo got, some of them was as thick as my arm. Almost the entire trip my eyes absorbed all the gorgeous images, but this time my ears are really enjoying the art.

"It's a strange sound, right?" I asked.

"The bamboo?" Alazne asked.

"Yes, it sounds like each bamboo is making a different noise," I said.

"Yes, it does. I hear someone playing snakes and ladders," she said.

"Snakes and ladders?" I asked confused.

"Yes, it sounds like two dices hitting each other," she said.

"Oh, yes. Somebody just threw to sixes," I said.

Alazne chuckled.

"Now it sounds like somebody is trying to make fire by grinding two rocks together," I said.

"Yes, I hear that too. Maybe somebody is lost and preparing for the night," she said.

We both laughed.

"When I was still a child my aunt had a few wind chimes. This bamboo sounds quite like the wind chimes also," she said.

"Yes, a lot like them. Or maybe it is just that old wood rocking chair someone's grandfather use to sit on," I said.

"Sounds a lot like it. That old creaking chair," she said.

The heat was getting the best of us as soon as we left the humid, but interesting bamboo forest. But as soon as we reached the Waimoku Falls the minor problems of heat vanished. The waterfall is flowing down in the middle of the halve circle cliff. For me it felt like the road to it leads to a dead end, but at the same time the beauty of the park starts here. The water seems so calm when it is creeping slowly down the upright walls of the cliff. Alazne and I went into the small and stood under the cold water. Even though this waterfall is so marvelous, I would categorize it as my second favorite after the Twin Falls of course. We hiked back to our car taking in the majestic views and sounds of the park for a second time. After an unbelievable tour we took the road back from Hana to our hotel. Again we enjoyed being surrounded by green plants on one side and the blue ocean on the other filling the view. Good Hawaiian music and Alazne's voice filled the sound. As long as she talked I knew she was all right. I guess my 'ghost' friend helped me out after all.

As soon as we arrived at our hotel my eyes could not lead my body anymore. We stood in front of the hotel.

"I'm going to sleep now. What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe just watch a movie or something," she said.

"Okay," I said.

"But first I'm going to the shop down the street. Sleep tight," she said.

"Thank you," I said before greeting with a kiss.

I rushed to the hotel room, paranoid about something happening to her while I am not with her. The first thing I did upon entering the room was to open The Book Keeper. Everything was written exactly like it happened, from the places we visited to the places we didn't. To my surprise even the next day's events were filled in. I can finally switch off from everything.

"Well, Mr Ghost you really are trustworthy," I said.

I put the book back in my suitcase and laid on the bed. As soon as my body was lying flat on the bed my eyes closed immediately.

*********

Alazne and Matthew arrived at a small airport. They were scheduled for a helicopter tour over Maui and Molokai. Alazne and Matthew got in the helicopter, nervous but still ready for the flight.

"My name is Paul, I'll be your pilot today. What are your names?" the helicopter pilot asked.

"Alazne and Matthew," Alazne said.

"Is it your first time in Hawaii?" Paul asked.

"Yes, for both of us," Matthew said.

"How are you enjoying it so far?" Paul asked.

"It is lovely. Extremely beautiful," Alazne said.

"What have you seen so far?" Paul asked.

"We took the Road to Hana the other day. We are still scheduled to take a trip on the Pride of Maui and to do the Haleakala sunrise," Matthew said.

"That sounds good. As soon as I get clearance we will proceed with the flight," Paul said.

The helicopter's rotor blades was rotating full speed, just standing by for the pilot to lift it from the ground.

"Is it your first time flying in a helicopter?" Paul asked.

"No, not my first," Matthew said.

"Yes, it is mine. I'm quite nervous," Alazne said.

"Don't worry it is my first time also. But there is nothing to be worried about, you're in good hands," Paul said.

"Your first time?" Alazne asked.

The pilot laughed.

"No not really. I just got clearance, here we go. Sit back and enjoy," Paul said.

Matthew held Alazne closer as the helicopter lifted from the ground. Only a few hundred feet in the air is already enough to leave anyone in awe.

"Get ready to see Maui in a different way," Paul said.

The helicopter ascended high above Maui and circulated over the island. It is unimaginable how gorgeous and colorful this place is. The bigger part of the island is dark green with a few light green spots and one big brown spot , where the Haleakala Park is. The Haleakala Park seems like an entire different world inside the island. Maui is surrounded by a thin line of light brown and at some parts a black line, where the black sand beaches are. This entire work of art is complemented by a beautiful turquoise color slowly brightening into the dark blue that holds the deep waters of the ocean. It is recommended to pinch yourself every 5 minutes, because it is hard to think this can be reality.

The pilot descended to the west Maui mountains. Clouds are resting on the green mountain tops where waterfalls are flowing from. It looks like the waterfalls are flowing directly out of heaven. This must be where Alazne flew from to end up in Twin Falls with Matthew. The helicopter moved past the colossal mountains. It feels as if you can just touch the mountains or lie on it and stare at the sky just like when we were kids, lying on the green grass in the backyard. Maybe this is what the giants do in their free time.

Soon the tour ended and the pilot proceeded back to the airfield.

"Thank you for flying with us today. We hope you enjoyed it," Paul concluded the flight.

*********

This entire piece was written by my 'ghost' friend. It is good to know I have some assistance in the writing process, but I will take over again once our holiday is finished. Alazne and I spent the other days doing shopping and relaxing on the different beaches Hawaii has to offer.

*********

Alazne and Matthew boarded the Pride of Maui vessel and the boat made its way into the ocean. The guests on the boat were entertained by a band playing a few 'feel good' songs. There was an open bar with cocktails and snacks and a slide that went into the ocean. Alazne and Matthew both got a cocktail at the bar and walked to the front of the boat. They inhaled the calm breeze of the Pacific Ocean, the sun slowly set to make way for the moon to take over the shift as the boat ripped through the endless amount of water.

"One day we'll have a boat like this," Matthew said.

"Yes, we will," Alazne said.

They enjoyed a great dinner while melting into each other's presence.

*********

Our last day in Hawaii has come and there is still one more thing that we must do and The Book Keeper knows it. It is 3 am in the morning and the coffee is already made and poured into the bottle.

"Alazne, wake up," I said while shaking her gently.

"What is it?" she asked still halfway asleep.

"Get up and get dressed. You can sleep in the car," I said.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"You'll see. Just trust me," I said.

Alazne got up and dressed herself in warm clothes. We got in the car and made our way to the Mt. Haleakala. On our way Alazne slept for a while, but most of the trip she was awake and kept me company. We arrived at Mt. Haleakala. In the darkness we made our way to the top of the mountain. It was quite cold at the top of the mountain. I stood next to Alazne as we waited for the sun. She walked around on the rocks, but suddenly she fell.

"Ouch! My ankle," Alazne cried.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I sprained my ankle," she said as she gently touched her ankle.

"Let me see," I said as I examined her ankle.

"There is bandages in the hotel room. Do you want to go back?" I asked.

"No, I'll survive for now. Let's first watch the sunrise," she said.

Alazne sat down on a rock and I sat behind her. We quickly sought some warmth in the coffee from the bottle and each other's arms. We were completely surrounded by clouds that had become whiter by the minute. There formed a thin orange line followed by a thick yellow line at the top of the white cotton like clouds. The sun slowly pushed through the clouds looking exactly like a fireball. The cold air became a little warmer by the minute. As the sun introduced more of itself, it suddenly shined in the form of a big 'X' towards us changing the color of some of the clouds to a bright orange color. Where does heaven start and where does it end?

I looked at Alazne as she stared with glittering eyes at the sunrise. She looked at me for a brief moment, smiled and looked back at the sun. I kissed her on the cheek.

"This is magnificent," Alazne said.

"It really is," I said.

"Best sunrise ever," she said before sharing a kiss with me.

We finished painting the memory, with the last colors, of the place they call 'the house of the sun'. The sun was completely up when we decided to leave. I carried Alazne to the car and helped her in. We traveled back to the hotel.

We arrived at the hotel. I carried Alazne to the hotel room, laid her down on the bed and bandaged her ankle.

"There you go. Now you just rest," I said smiling.

"Thank you," she said.

I gave her a kiss on the forehead and laid down next to her.

"Can you do me a favor?" she asked.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I want some of those fruit smoothies from the small shop down the street. They make it out of real fruit. I can walk a little bit, but it is going to take me a year to come back," she said smiling.

"So now you are taking advantage of me," I teased.

"Yes, it is kind of my right, now that I am handicapped," she said.

"What flavor do you want?" I asked.

"One mango and one litchi, please," she said.

"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes," I said.

"Thank you," she said.

I walked to the shop she was talking about, spent a little time studying all the different flavors, bought a mango and litchi smoothies for Alazne and mixed berries smoothie for me. With arms full I made my way back to the hotel.

"Here is your comfort drinks," I said as I entered the room.

Alazne sat at the desk with her back to me.

"Are you not supposed to lie down and rest?" I asked.

"What is this?" she asked.

"What?" I asked as I approached her.

"This book, The Book Keeper. What is this supposed to be?" she asked angrily.

"I can explain that," I said.

"Please do. Why is everything that's written in the book based on what happens in my life?" she asked.

"It is a long story and it is in a way unbelievable. I have to write the book everyday for you to keep living," I said.

"What!? Come on, Matthew. I have heard many people's fantasies, but yours must be the stupidest I have heard so far," she said.

"Do you remember the time when you were taken to the hospital?" I asked.

"Yes, what about that?" she asked.

"That day was the product of me not writing the book for a specific day," I said.

Alazne shook her head and sat on the bed.

"So let's say it is like this. Who do you think you are wanting to control somebody's life? You mean to tell me all this that happened in my life was all thanks to you? Thanks to you I got a pacemaker planted in me! You tricked me in falling in love with you! You are the one that let me sprain my ankle! You let my uncle die! I can't believe you!" Alazne screamed with tears forming in her eyes.

"It wasn't me. I never intended to hurt you," I said.

"You could have fooled me," she said.

"There is forces surrounding this book. Things beyond my control," I said.

"Just shut up! Stop lying to me!" she screamed as tears streamed down her face.

"I'm sorry, I should have told you," I said as I came closer to comfort her.

"I got to go," she said as she got up.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm flying back home. I'll buy a new ticket if I have to," she said as she took her suitcase and walked to the door.

"Alazne, please stay," I pleaded.

"No. I am really disappointed. And take this back," she said before she took her engagement ring off and threw it at me.

"Alazne..." I said as the door finally separated her from me.

In a heartbeat I watched her walk away. All my fears just became my reality. I walked to The Book Keeper with anger replacing the love in me. Was this really necessary to happen? I opened the book at today's events. Again everything was exactly written like it happened, even the part where Alazne found out about the book is written down. Talk about adding insult to injury.

"Damn it!" I exploded while swinging the book into a corner.

As she increased the gap between us with each step, I slowly crept into the dark corner I knew so well before I met her. Alanze, will you ever forgive me?

Chapter 22

I looked around in the house after the effects of my winter. Everything seems the same as it was before her – old, dead and desperate for a change. Everything is frozen in black and white. There is just nothing left to add color, sound or taste in my life. A rope hanged in front of the curtain and I walked towards it. As I pulled on the rope the curtain opened and the sun shined in my eyes. I was reminded that it hurts. I was reminded I'm still alive. It was a rope called hope, which I'll gladly hang onto. Suddenly I realized there is a reason why this heart is beating and my lungs are breathing. And that reason is to get Alazne back by my side. I need to do anything and everything I can. The only thing that will assist me to get out of this situation is the thing that got me in this situation – The Book Keeper. I went to the study where I placed the book.

"Okay, Mr Ghost if you can do me the honor of writing this book myself I'll highly appreciate it. Whatever you are, a person, a real ghost or just fate. Please grant me this request," I said with the book in my hands.

For the first time in a few weeks I started writing in the book again. I wrote the events for tomorrow as today's events are already filled in.

*********

Alazne woke up today to another beautiful morning. As her eyes opened, memories flooded her brain. The memories of Matthew. She went to work and did what her job description says, but she couldn't get Matthew out of her head. Time slowly passed as the frustration built in her.

Suddenly her phone rang.

"Alazne, hello," she answered.

"Alazne, I have someone here that wants to see you," the receptionist said.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"He says he received an email form you in regards with his book," the receptionist said.

"Okay, send the person to my office, please," she said.

After a while Matthew walked into her office.

"Hello, Alazne," Matthew said.

"Matthew, hi," she said.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Okay and you?" she asked.

"Good good. Listen I just want to apologize and explain about what I did," he said.

She looked at Matthew with a slight hint of irritation on her face, but inside she was happy he came by.

*********

I finished the events for tomorrow. I kept it as realistic as I could, in regards with the situation we are in, but at the same time also in my favor. In the book I wrote that she will accept my apology and we will end up together again. Now I can just hope the events I have written down prevails exactly as it is. Why won't it? The Book Keeper has proven itself time after time.

I wasted time by the house, role playing and imagining all the events for tomorrow. Right before I went to sleep I checked if the piece I wrote was still the same. Luckily it was untouched.

The next morning I woke with a mission in my head. I got dressed, wasted a bit of time role playing, made sure the piece I wrote was untouched – which was still the same, wasted more time role playing and proceeded to Alazne's work.

"Good day. Is Alazne Duncan in her office?" I asked the receptionist.

"I'll check for you. Do you have an appointment?" the receptionist asked.

"No," I said.

"You must have an appointment to see her," the receptionist said.

"I received an email from her in regards with my book. She said I must visit," I said.

Alazne once told me they send emails out to their potential authors. Why not use that to my advantage?

"Okay, I'm going to let her know," the receptionist said.

She picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Alazne, I have someone here that wants to see you," she said on the phone.

"He says he received an email from you in regards with his book," she said.

"Okay, I'll do it," she said.

The receptionist put the phone down.

"Okay, she says you can go to her office. Do you know where it is?" she asked.

"Yes, I know. Thank you," I said before rushing down the hallway.

I walked into Alazne's office.

"Hello, Alazne," I greeted.

"Matthew, hi," she greeted.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Okay and you?" she asked.

"Good. Listen I just want to apologize for..." I said.

"Matthew I have an appointment. One of my authors is coming to see me," she said.

"The call you received just now from your receptionist?" I asked.

"Yes, how did you know that?" she asked.

"That was me. She asked if I had an appointment with you," I said.

"Okay," she said.

"I'm here to apologize and explain what I did," I said.

She started to look a bit irritated as expected, but hopefully she was happy as I suggested.

"Okay, if you really need to," she said.

"Apparently as I understand my father, Charlie Echoes, started writing the book exactly on the day when you were born. Every day that followed the book was written to keep you alive," I said.

"So what are you telling me? It is not my own wellbeing that keeps me alive?" she asked sarcastically.

"I'm not saying that... What do you think is the reason you never got the common cold? Everyone gets sick, but you never did. The only time something happened to you was the time the book hit a blank page, but I rectified it as soon as I could," I said.

"Okay, let's say you have that power over me, why did you let my uncle die? Why did you let me hurt my ankle?" she asked.

"I didn't do that. For some reason there are forces beyond my control that is also writing this book," I said.

"I don't believe you," she said.

"I can show you right now. This that is happening was probably also rewritten by that 'ghost'," I said.

"Ghost? I think you should rather go," she said.

"No, I'm not leaving you. You mean the world to me. I love you," I said.

I could see how her eyes were holding back the tears.

"There may be a book that brought us together, but I believe it was fate that played the biggest role. Just give me one more chance," I said.

"And what then? We go on with you controlling my life? Life featuring me as the puppet and you as the puppeteer? I don't know," she said.

"I know it is messed up, but we can find a way to let this work," I said.

"You can, but I can't. Everything that has happened has happened. I think you must leave. It is over," she said.

"Please," I pleaded one more time.

"Please leave. You came in here labeling yourself as an author. Who do you think you are? Is this a game to you? Rubbing salt into the wounds! Are you proud of what you did?" she bombarded.

"No," I said.

"Leave! Please leave," she said with tears in her eyes.

I walked out of her office, out of the building and into my house. The pain latched onto my brain, it is itching and burning at the same time. Her words 'it is over' keeps repeating in my head, filling the miles of the path I walk in my life with thorns. I'm struggling to breath, but for some reason there is still an inch of rope left, just enough to hang on to hope. Whether it hurts more now, I must keep trying because the reward of having her next to me again is much bigger than all my problems. I ignored my pity and used hope to continue writing the book.

The next morning, just as I wrote, I did meet her at the book shop where she used to work.

"Good morning, Alazne," I greeted as walked towards her.

"Matthew," she said.

A man holding 2 cups of coffee walked up to her.

"Here you go," the man said giving her a cup.

"This place got a waiter now?" I asked.

"No, I'm not a waiter," he said smiling as he gave Alazne a hug.

"Are you two together?" I asked slowly.

Alazne looked down and nodded slowly.

"Okay, I see," I said and walked away.

"Matthew, wait," she said and walked up to me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I'm sorry. I hope all your dreams come true. Thank you for everything you did for me," she said.

"Keep well," I said.

I went back home and stared at the clock. A dream did come true once. It was the best dream ever, but when you are not paying attention dreams can quickly turn into nightmares. I had a lot of nightmares in this lifetime. The rope that I thought I was holding onto was actually around my neck busy choking me. I guess that is why I struggled to breath. If I could get one wish, I would wish for her to be removed from my head. Thinking about it now, suddenly her blue eyes turned into the ugliest gray, her hair started to stink and the strawberry lip gloss tasted rotten – or that is how I'd like to imagine her. Truth is she is still my favorite executioner. As I searched in the bottom of my empty heart I saw hope starting to decay and finally turning into desolation and despair. Let's go back to the cemetery, throw some flowers into an empty grave and mourn a bit, because tonight hope died.

Chapter 23

The world is big. A continent is big. A country is big. A state is big. A city is big. Every night I saw some drunkards passed out on the sidewalk – lost and alone in the darkness of their own world. Just look at the floor beneath you and imagine yourself lying there – can you see how small you are against the world? How lost and alone you can be if life knocks you down? When everyone leaves you and the night takes over? Sometimes I too tried to find myself in the emptiness of the bottle and a few meaningless relationships. But that is exactly what I found – emptiness and meaninglessness. Where have I lost myself and how do I get me back?

With every sip from my glass of pain reliever I knock on the door of my brain that houses the memory of Alazne. Checking every time if she is still there. Thinking and hoping she disappeared by now. But at the end just pushing the knife even further into my heart with the image of the stare she gave me when she found out about The Book Keeper. My brain tells me to hate her and my heart tells me to love her. A never ending war is being fought in my soul. My heart and my brain are fighting for my approval, blackening me inside. She is the only one that can bring me the salvation I long for. But all I want now is to forget about her, but how is it possible if I can't even forgive myself?

Some nights I was able to forget about her and even forget my other problems, but I was also left lost and alone in the darkness of my own world. Not passed out on the sidewalk, but if I was lucky, in my own bed. The following morning I woke up with the same problems highlighted by a hangover. Is that really a productive way of getting her out of my head?

Empty days and sometimes half full days paid a visit and I looked on as they passed; disappearing in the distance just like cars driving on a highway. Time really flew by.

It is a slow night at The Lighthouse and a few minutes to closing time. Most of the people already went home, only a few of the regulars remain and they are already having an out-of-body experience sponsored by the alcohol pity wagon.

"Last rounds!" I called out.

As usual these words were followed up with moaning and groaning from the people. Some left and others came to buy their last drink from the bar.

"So Matt, are we going to keep this party going after all these other people are gone?" a man I didn't know asked.

"Um, who are you?" I asked.

"Shane, can't you remember me?" he asked.

"No, unfortunately not," I said.

"You closed the bar, let everyone out and we continued drinking. You, me and a few of our other friends. It happened last month," he said.

"Was I drunk?" I asked.

"Yes, all of us were. Just like tonight," he said referring to his friends accompanying him.

"That is maybe the reason why I do not recognize you," I said.

"So are we going to do it again?" he asked.

"No, I'm going home when I close," I said.

"Come on man, please," he said.

"No thank you," I said.

He shook his head and walked away.

"Come on boys. It looks like we are not welcome here anymore," he said before flushing his drink down his throat.

All of his friends followed his example and they left. With the engine roaring, the wheels spinning and the car accelerating they left the bar. It's funny how many people can be your friend when either party is drunk.

After everyone left I closed the bar, got in my car and drove through the city. For some reason I don't feel like going home right away. Sometimes it is fun just to drive around in the city. It helps to unwind a bit. As I turned into Grim Street I saw there was a car accident. A head on collision with 2 cars involved. The paramedics are not on the scene yet, it must have happened just now. I stopped at the scene. Shane, the guy from the bar, was walking around the crime scene.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I don't know. It happened so quickly," he mumbled.

I ran to the red car which is unidentifiable from the front, but the back looks like a Draven Master. A bloodied face greets me inside the car. The lady in the car looks pregnant. Immediately my paramedic instinct, which I thought I had forgotten, kicked in.

"Hello miss. How are you doing? Are you okay?" I asked.

"I need to get to the hospital. My baby," she said.

"Yes, we are just waiting for the paramedics. Hold on for a while," I said.

I dialed the emergency number on my cellphone. While I was waiting for my call to go through a smell of something burning filled the air. What is a car accident without this famous smell? This time it was not a person that was burning, but paper from a book. Suddenly she started coughing blood.

"Hold on. Hold on," I said while holding her hand.

She continued coughing.

"Come on, speak to me. What do you for a living?" I asked just to get a conversation going.

"I read books at a publishing company," she said in a familiar voice.

Suddenly her smell, her taste, her voice, her looks and her skin became familiar.

"Alazne? Is it you? Alazne?" I asked gasping for air after each word.

And the paper from the book that was burning was actually burning inside my head – a guilty conscience.

"I'm taking you to the hospital right now," I said.

I took her out of the car, knowing that I may be putting her at risk for more injury, but I am not going to watch her die next to the street. I won't relive that again. I laid her down on the backseat of my car and rushed to the hospital, into the emergency section.

"Help! Please help!" I called.

The hospital staff rushed to Alazne, placed her on the stretcher and ran into the hospital. I sat down in the waiting room and waited. Every moment the big digital clock added a minute I felt farther away from Alazne. What if the doctor comes through the door and tells me she didn't make it. It is my ultimate fear. My head was always filled with the need of having her with me again, but not under these circumstances. I would rather be without her than seeing her with the pain that she is in. This is exactly a reminder of how short life really is. Why didn't I just let the Shane guy stay at the bar and drink? Then this would not have happened. Why didn't I look at what is written in The Book Keeper? Then I could have warned her or maybe have changed it. Is the damage already done? I can go and write and fix all of this. Can I still repair it? I stood up from the chair ready to go to my house and change all of this. My mind hesitated with a question. What if something happens to her and I can't even say goodbye? A doctor walked up to me.

"Mr Myers," the doctor said.

"Yes doctor?" I asked releasing some pressure.

"The baby survived, but for her it doesn't look good. Most of her major organs are damaged. She lost a lot of blood," the doctor said.

I fell on the couch, let out a sigh of frustration and buried my face in my hand.

"It is not looking good," the doctor said.

"Can I see her?" I asked.

"Yes, please do," the doctor said.

I walked with the doctor through the hallway and into her room. She had so many scars and bruises. In her face I can see the pain she is in. I don't enjoy seeing her like this, but she is still so beautiful to me.

"Hello, Alazne," I said.

"Hi, Matthew," she said.

I can't help but to think she blames me for the situation she finds herself in.

"How are you?" I asked looking down at the floor.

"Been better and you?" she asked.

"The same," I said with tears forming in my eyes.

She smiled at me with a broken smile, but at least it is a smile. I don't know what to say. What do you say if you have so many words, but so little time? I went in for a hug, she accepted it and held on to me as if she never wanted to let go.

"I don't know where to begin. I'm so sorry for everything that has happened," I said as I stayed in the embrace.

"No, it is okay. It's not your fault," she said rubbing her hand over my back.

I got up and she looked at me with tears rolling down her face. What have I done to you, Alazne? I looked away as my vision got blurry by the tears that's building up in my eyes. I'm sorry I was not there when you needed me the most. All I want to do is to wipe your tears with the soft cotton tissue, heal your wounds with a magic salve and varnish your heart with a fresh layer of love.

"I can fix this, just hold on a little longer, please," I said.

"No, it won't work," she said as she coughed.

"It will. I'll show you. I'll be back in a moment," I said as I walked to the door.

"What if I told you The Book Keeper was just one big scam?" she asked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"It's a long story... I am working for a company that help people to get what their heart desires whether it's the soul mate or a child, they provide it for you against a fee. Unfortunately the beneficiary has to lose everything to get and appreciate the one thing they desire. That is like the one rule the company has. For you they gave you a book to provide the illusion of something that can be permanent, someone that you can 'control' and hold onto for as long as you like. Every day someone from the company gained access to the book to read what is to happen or to rewrite the events. They informed me what is going to happen and I memorized it so that it could look believable," she said.

"No, no. It can't be," I said.

Can it be the reason why The Book Keeper was never where I left it.

"It is true. You were not supposed to know any of this, but now you know," she said.

"Why are you part of this company?" I asked.

"My aunt could not get any children so she made a deal with this company. They told her she has to lose everyone, her entire family and even her husband. She pleaded for them to save her husband, so they made a deal with her that when I grow up, I should do a job for them. As I understand your father made the same deal with them. According to the company he thought you would not be able to find someone to love you because of the scars you got in that car accident. How convenient for the company to have the employee and the client in the same city. I never knew about this until I went to college. I told them repeatedly I was not interested to take part in their scheme. They let me do it against my will by threatening to murder my aunt and uncle," she said.

"Let's say this story is true. How do you explain the pacemaker then? You got it because of me. Because I didn't write the book when I was supposed too," I said.

"I had the pacemaker for a few years already. The heart failure scene was just there to force you to write the book. It also gave me the opportunity to fit the pacemaker into the story. After I found out about this job I need to do, I immediately looked for a way out. And..." she said pausing.

"And what?" I asked.

"I tried to commit suicide by the infamous way of letting an electrical appliance fall into the bathtub I was lying in. Thankfully my college roommate got to me in time. In the hospital doctors found my heart muscle to be damaged beyond repair, so they gave me this pacemaker," she said.

"Why did you choose that method of ending it?" I asked.

"I guess I wanted to feel something while I was leaving. Being numb didn't feel like the right way of doing it," she said.

The anger is boiling inside of me, but at the same time I want to show her how much I actually care. It feels like I have been it that bathtub with her. I wasn't shocked by the current, but it feels as if I suffered the electrical burns. What must I feel after that?

"Did you really meet my father or was that also a made up story?" I asked with my hand covering my face.

"He came to visit me a few times before his death. We arranged everything, from where I must be at what time, to what I must do when," she said.

"So if I didn't leave my house that morning, none of this would have happened?" I asked.

"They would have changed the story in the book, as simple as that. The company probably had a surveillance team outside your house to let us know when you are leaving," she said.

I find it hard to believe someone would do something like this, but at the same time I feel for her.

"So all of it was just a scam? A sick game?" I asked.

"No, it was not. In the beginning it was just a job I needed to finish to get to my normal life, but I fell in love with you. They wanted me to leave you and start with a new job, but I told them I'm done with their company. I wanted to start a new life with you. They continued to ask me to leave you and I continued to decline. I was so happy when you asked me to marry you and then the company killed my uncle. They threatened to make my aunt their next target if I don't comply. That is when I finally had to let you go when I 'found out' about the book. I thought you deserved someone better than me. Someone that won't hurt you in this way. There is not a day that went by where I did not regret my actions. You really mean the world to me. I hope you can forgive me," she said with a tear rolling down her cheek.

I sat there just staring at her, completely empty. Whatever I had left in me is now completely drained. It feels like I have a thirst that must be quenched, but I am completely hollow – I would rather be cold inside than to feel numb like this. I wish someone can just pour something in me, just to feel something again. She is guilty just as I am. I wanted to control her and morph her into the perfect woman for me. She on the other side was controlled by someone else which was not a book.

"I forgive you and I am sorry for what happened to you," I said as I touched her hand.

"I wish I could have met you under normal circumstances. I really started to love you," she said.

I kissed her hand and held it tightly.

"Promise me one thing please?" she asked.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Please take care of our daughter," she said.

"Our daughter?" I asked.

"Yes, the child that was born a few minutes ago. She is mine and yours," she said.

"I will, I promise," I said.

It feels like I missed an entire chapter of my life. She began to cough frantically.

"Alazne, are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she said between the coughs.

How close is the end of our story, Alazne? Will our novel be a hit in a world that does not care for books?

"Come over here and lie next to me," she said.

"On that small bed?" I asked.

"Yes, I will make some space for you," she said as she maneuvered to one side.

I lay next to her. Just as old times she placed her head on my shoulder and her hand on my heart. I held her as tight as I could.

"So what would you do if you had one million?" she asked.

"One million as in money?" I asked.

"No, one million words?" she asked smiling.

"Well, I would happily allow you to run me over with your car again – just to see your bare feet again. I would enjoy a cup of coffee with you in the book shop – just to scare you again. I would ask you on that date to the fish restaurant – just do the staring game again and let them assume we are insane. I would take you the lighthouse again – just to sing for you and to dance to the tune of an old song. I would go through a thousand thunderstorms again – just to kiss you and taste the sweetness of your love. I would play Canasta with you again – just to be the king of your heart. I would run a bubble bath again – just to see the smile on your face. I would spend hours in front of that piano – just to sing that special song to you and ask you to marry me. I would take you to Hawaii again, conquer the entire island of Maui and turn it into our own backyard," I said.

"Matthew?" she asked.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I love you," she said before she closed her eyes.

"I love you too. We would..." I said before I was interrupted by the heart monitor's continuing dull beep noise.

"Alazne! Alazne!" I cried as hollowness replaced the places of the words that flew out of me.

The nurses and the doctor came running into the room. They escorted me out of the room and I waited in the waiting area. The doctor came after a while. I immediately stood up, expecting the worse.

"I'm sorry. It is over," the doctor said.

I fell to the chair as if all my power just vanished. The words are cutting through me like a sword. Tears started to form and with every tear forming I was frantically breathing in and out. Suddenly it became harder to hold breath in my lungs. Am I suffocating? Is this where I die today? My face sunk into my hands as the flowing tears burned my cheeks. I am busy breaking into small pieces of myself. No one can ever be prepared for something like this. A small child that was always locked away inside fell out of my fractured body. He stumbled over his own feet as he could not walk due to the years of being bedridden. As soon as his legs was strong enough he ran out of the hospital, stopped in the middle of the busy street, fell on his knees, put his arms in the air and looked up to the night sky.

"Alazne! Where are you? Alazne! Can I just see one more time? Alazne! I miss you!" he screamed into the night, but no one heard him.

I wanted to follow his example and scream until the world explodes. Maybe I'll find her somewhere in the rubble and then we will build a new world. A world where no one can hurt her and where I'll protect her from everything. I have never in my life felt this pain that I am feeling now. I sat in that chair for hours, not willing to move. It will take forever to pick up the parts of me I lost here in this hospital. I took one of the pieces and fitted it into one of the many cracks in me, but it fell out immediately. It is safe to say, the sculpture, that is portraying me, will never look the same again. Because when she died, I died there next to her.

Chapter 24

There is a baby girl in the house. I named her Alazne, the only true miracle in life. The Book Keeper lays open, on the last page, in front of me. The exact events of Alazne's last day is captured in the book. I spent a few days after Alazne's death looking in and around the house for cameras that may have filmed us to when she was here with me. The level of paranoia I was in, was really something else. At the same time I can't help but to wonder if the story, about 'the company', she told me is actually true. Why would 'the company' she worked for still write the book even when she is already deceased. When the events for the next day was written it felt so real as they played in front of me. A part of me thinks The Book Keeper was a genuine device to write her story for her to keep living. Maybe she said it to stop me from going home and fixing her situation. Was the pain just too much for her to bear so she rather chose to die? I don't know what to believe. But I know fairy tales do not come true. At the end of the day this novel is published and there is nothing else to be added.

I walked to the baby and picked her up. The baby coughed a little. I walked back to the book. There is another thick book next to The Book Keeper. I opened the new book and looked at baby Alazne.

What would you do if you find out your loved one is writing your life and forcing you to love them?

What would you do if you find out your loved one is working for that type of company and are forced to love you?

*********

The End...

*********
