Chapter 6
JOHNNY GAGGED AND I almost dropped my hot
fudge sundae. "Cherry?" we both said at the
same time. "The Soc?"
"Yeah," Dally said. "She came over to the
vacant lot the night Two-Bit was jumped. Shepard
and some of his outfit and us were hanging
around there when she drives up in her little
ol' Sting Ray. That took a lot of nerve. Some
of us was for jumping her then and there,
her bein' the dead kid's girl and all, but
Two-Bit stopped us. Man, next time I want
a broad I'll pick up my own kind."
"Yeah," Johnny said slowly, and I wondered
if, like me, he was remembering another voice,
also tough and just deepened into manhood,
saying: "Next time you want a broad, pick
up your own kind..." It gave me the creeps.
Dally was going on: "She said she felt that
the whole mess was her fault, which it is,
and that she'd keep up with what was comin'
off with the Socs in the rumble and would
testify that the Socs were drunk and looking
for a fight and that you fought back in self-defense."
He gave a grim laugh. "That little gal sure
does hate me. I offered to take her over to
The Dingo for a Coke and she said 'No, thank
you' and told me where I could go in very
polite terms."
She was afraid of loving you, I thought. So
Cherry Valance, the cheerleader, Bob's girl,
the Soc, was trying to help us. No, it wasn't
Cherry the Soc who was helping us, it was
Cherry the dreamer who watched sunsets and
couldn't stand fights. It was hard to believe
a Soc would help us, even a Soc that dug sunsets.
Dally didn't notice. He had forgotten about
it already.
"Man, this place is out of it. What do they
do for kicks around here, play checkers?"
Dally surveyed the scene without interest.
"I ain't never been in the country before.
Have you two?"
Johnny shook his head but I said, "Dad used
to take us all huntin'. I've been in the country
before. How'd you know about the church?"
"I got a cousin that lives around here somewheres.
Tipped me off that it'd make a tuff hide-out
in case of something. Hey, Ponyboy, I heard
you was the best shot in the
family."
"Yeah," I said. "Darry always got the most
ducks, though. Him and Dad. Soda and I goofed
around too much, scared most of our game away."
I couldn't tell Dally that I hated to shoot
things. He'd think I was soft.
"That was a good idea, I mean cuttin' your
hair and bleachin' it. They printed your descriptions
in the paper but you sure wouldn't fit 'em
now."
Johnny had been quietly finishing his fifth
barbecue sandwich, but now he announced: 'We're
goin' back and turn ourselves in."
It was Dally's turn to gag. Then he swore
awhile. Then he turned to Johnny and demanded:
"What?"
"I said we're goin' back and turn ourselves
in," Johnny repeated in a quiet voice. I was
surprised but not shocked. I had thought about
turning ourselves in lots of times, but apparently
the whole idea was a jolt to Dallas.
"I got a good chance of bein' let off easy,"
Johnny said desperately, and I didn't know
if it was Dally he was trying to convince
or himself. "I ain't got no record with the
fuzz and it was self-defense. Ponyboy and
Cherry can testify to that. And I don't aim
to stay in that church all my life."
That was quite a speech for Johnny. His big
black eyes grew bigger than ever at the thought
of going to the police station, for Johnny
had a deathly fear of cops, but he went on:
"We won't tell that you helped us, Dally,
and we'll give you back the gun and what's
left of the money and say we hitchhiked back
so you won't get into trouble.
Okay?"
Dally was chewing the corner of his ID card,
which gave his age as twenty-one so he could
buy liquor. "You sure you want to go back?
Us greasers get it worse than anyone else."
Johnny nodded. "I'm sure. It ain't fair for
Ponyboy to have to stay up in that church
with Darry and Soda worryin' about him all
the time. I don't guess..."--- he swallowed
and tried not to look eager--- "I don't guess
my parents are worried about me or anything?"
"The boys are worried," Dally said in a matter-of-fact
voice. "Two-Bit was going to Texas to hunt
for you."
"My parents," Johnny repeated doggedly, "did
they ask about me?"
"No," snapped Dally, "they didn't. Blast it,
Johnny, what do they matter? Shoot, my old
man don't give a hang whether I'm in jail
or dead in a car wreck or drunk in the gutter.
That don't bother me none."
Johnny didn't say anything. But he stared
at the dashboard with such hurt bewilderment
that I could have bawled.
Dally cussed under his breath and nearly tore
out the transmission of the T-bird as we roared
out of the Dairy Queen. I felt sorry for Dally.
He meant it when he said he didn't care about
his parents. But he and the rest of the gang
knew Johnny cared and did everything they
could to make it up to him. I don't know what
it was about Johnny---maybe that lost puppy
look and those big scared eyes were what made
everyone his big brother. But they couldn't,
no matter how hard they tried, take the place
of his parents. I thought about it for a minute---
Darry and Sodapop were my brothers and I loved
both of
them, even if Darry did scare me; but not
even Soda could take Mom and Dad's place.
And they were my real brothers, not just sort
of adopted ones. No wonder Johnny was hurt
because his parents didn't want him. Dally
could take it--- Dally was of the breed that
could take anything, because he was hard and
tough, and when he wasn't, he could turn hard
and tough. Johnny was a good fighter and could
play it cool, but he was sensitive and that
isn't a good way to be when you're a greaser.
"Blast it, Johnny," Dally growled as we flew
along the red road, "why didn't you think
of turning yourself in five days ago? It would
have saved a lot of trouble."
"I was scared," Johnny said with conviction.
"I still am." He ran his finger down one of
his short black sideburns. "I guess we ruined
our hair for nothing, Ponyboy."
"I guess so." I was glad we were going back.
I was sick of that church. I didn't care if
I was bald.
Dally was scowling, and from long and painful
experience I knew better than to talk to him
when his eyes were blazing like that. I'd
likely as not get clobbered over the head.
That had happened before, just as it had happened
to all the gang at one time or another. We
rarely fought among ourselves--- Darry was
the unofficial leader, since he kept his head
best, Soda and Steve had been best friends
since grade school and never fought, and Two-Bit
was just too lazy to argue with anyone. Johnny
kept his mouth shut too much to get into arguments,
and nobody ever fought with Johnny. I kept
my mouth shut; too. But Dally was a different
matter. If something beefed him, he didn't
keep quiet about it, and if you rubbed him
the wrong way--- look out. Not even Darry
wanted to tangle with him. He was dangerous.
Johnny just sat there and stared at his feet.
He hated for any one of us to be mad at him.
He looked awful sad. Dally glanced at him
out of the corner of his eye. I looked out
the window.
"Johnny," Dally said in a a pleading, high
voice, using a tone I had never heard from
him before, "Johnny, I ain't mad at you. I
just don't want you to get hurt. You don't
know what a few months in jail can do to you.
Oh, blast it, Johnny"--- he pushed his white-blond
hair back out of his eyes--- "you get hardened
in jail. I don't want that to happen to you.
Like it happened to me..."
I kept staring out the window at the rapidly
passing scenery, but I felt my eyes getting
round. Dally never talked like that. Never.
Dally didn't give a Yankee dime about anyone
but himself, and he was cold and hard and
mean. He never talked about his past or being
in jail that way--- if he talked about it
at all, it was to brag. And I suddenly thought
of Dally... in jail at the age of ten... Dally
growing up in the streets...
"Would you rather have me living in hide-outs
for the rest of my life, always on the run?"
Johnny asked seriously.
If Dally had said yes, Johnny would have gone
back to the church without hesitation. He
figured Dally knew more than he did, and Dally's
word was law. But he never heard Dally's answer,
for we had reached the top of Jay Mountain
and Dally suddenly slammed on the brakes and
stared. "Oh, glory!" he whispered. The church
was on fire!
"Let's go see what the deal is," I said, hopping
out.
"What for?" Dally sounded irritated. "Get
back in here before I beat your head in."
I knew Dally would have to park the car and
catch me before he could carry out his threat,
and Johnny was already out and following me,
so I figured I was safe. We could hear him
cussing us out, but he wasn't mad enough to
come after us. There was a crowd at the front
of the church, mostly little kids, and I wondered
how they'd gotten there so quickly. I tapped
the nearest grownup. "What's going on?"
"Well, we don't know for sure," the man said
with a good-natured grin. "We were having
a school picnic up here and the first thing
we knew, the place is burning up. Thank goodness
this is a wet season and the old thing is
worthless anyway." Then, to the kids, he shouted,
"Stand back, children. The firemen will be
coming soon."
"I bet we started it," I said to Johnny. "We
must have dropped a lighted cigarette or something."
About that time a lady came running up. "Jerry,
some of the kids are missing."
"They're probably around here somewhere. You
can't tell with all this excitement where
they might be."
"No." She shook her head. "They've been missing
for at least a half an hour. I thought they
were climbing the hill..."
Then we all froze. Faintly, just faintly,
you could hear someone yelling. And it sounded
like it was coming from inside the church.
The woman went white. "I told them not to
play in the church... I told them..."
She looked like she was going to start screaming,
so Jerry shook her.
"I'll get them, don't worry!" I started at
a dead run for the church, and the man caught
my arm. "I'll get them. You kids stay out!"
I jerked loose and ran on. All I could think
was: We started it. We started it. We started
it!
I wasn't about to go through that flaming
door, so I slammed a big rock through a window
and pulled myself in. It was a wonder I didn't
cut myself to death, now that I think about
it.
"Hey, Ponyboy."
I looked around, startled. I hadn't realized
Johnny had been right behind me all the way.
I took a deep breath, and started coughing.
The smoke filled my eyes and they started
watering. "Is that guy coming?"
Johnny shook his head. "The window stopped
him."
"Too scared?"
"Naw..." Johnny gave me a grin. "Too fat"
I couldn't laugh because I was scared I'd
drown in the smoke. The roar and crackling
was getting louder, and Johnny shouted the
next question.
"Where's the kids?"
"In the back, I guess," I hollered, and we
started stumbling through the church. I should
be scared, I thought with an odd detached
feeling, but I'm not. The cinders and embers
began falling on us, stinging and smarting
like ants. Suddenly, in the red glow
and the haze, I remembered wondering what
it was like in a burning ember, and I thought:
Now I know, it's a red hell. Why aren't I
scared?
We pushed open the door to the back room and
found four or five little kids, about eight
years old or younger, huddled in a corner.
One was screaming his head off, and Johnny
yelled, "Shut up! We're goin' to get you out!"
The kid looked surprised and quit hollering.
I blinked myself--- Johnny wasn't behaving
at all like his old self. He looked over his
shoulder and saw that the door was blocked
by flames, then pushed open the window and
tossed out the nearest kid. I caught one quick
look at his face; it was red marked from falling
embers and sweat streaked, but he grinned
at me. He wasn't scared either. That was the
only time I can think of when I saw him without
that defeated, suspicious look in his eyes.
He looked like he was having the time of his
life.
I picked up a kid, and he promptly bit me,
but I leaned out, the window and dropped him
as gently as I could, being in a hurry like
that. A crowd was there by that time. Dally
was standing there, and when he saw me he
screamed, "For Pete's sake, get outa there!
That roofs gonna cave in any minute. Forget
those blasted kids!"
I didn't pay any attention, although pieces
of the old roof were crashing down too close
for comfort. I snatched up another kid, hoping
he didn't bite, and dropped him without waiting
to see if he landed okay or not. I was coughing
so hard I could hardly stand up, and I wished
I had time to take off Dally's jacket. It
was hot. We dropped the last of the kids out
as the front of the church started to crumble.
Johnny shoved me toward the
window. "Get out!"
I leaped out the window and heard timber crashing
and the flames roaring right behind me. I
staggered, almost falling, coughing and sobbing
for breath. Then I heard Johnny scream, and
as I turned to go back for him, Dally swore
at me and clubbed me across the back as hard
as he could, and I went down into a peaceful
darkness.
WHEN I CAME TO, I was being bounced around,
and I ached and smarted, and wondered dimly
where I was. I tried to think but there was
a high-pitched screaming going on, and I couldn't
tell whether it was inside my head or out.
Then I realized it was a
siren. The fuzz, I thought dully. The cops
have come for us. I tried to swallow a groan
and wished wildly for Soda. Someone with a
cold wet rag was gently sponging off my face,
and a voice said, "I think he's coming around."
I opened my eyes. It was dark. I'm moving,
I thought. Are they taking me to jail?
"Where...?" I said hoarsely, not able to get
anything else out of my mouth. My throat was
sore. I blinked at the stranger sitting beside
me. But he wasn't a stranger... I'd seen him
before...
"Take it easy, kid. You're in an ambulance."
"Where's Johnny?" I cried, frightened at being
in this car with strangers. "And Dallas?"
"They're in the other ambulance, right behind
us. Just calm down. You're going to be okay.
You just passed out"
"I didn't either," I said in the bored, tough
voice we reserved for strangers and cops.
"Dallas hit me. How come?"
"Because your back was in flames, that's why."
I was surprised. "It was? Golly, I didn't
feel it. It don't hurt."
"We put it out before you got burned. That
jacket saved you from a bad burning, maybe
saved your life. You just keeled over from
smoke inhalation and a little shock---of course,
that slap on the back didn't help much."
I remembered who he was then--- Jerry somebody-or-other
who was too heavy to get in the window. He
must be a school teacher, I thought. "Are
you taking us to the police station?" I was
still a little mixed up as to what was coming
off.
"The police station?" It was his turn to be
surprised. "What would we want to take you
to the police station for? We're taking all
three of you to the hospital."
I let his first remark slide by. "Are Johnny
and Dally all right?"
"Which one's which?"
"Johnny has black hair. Dally's the mean-looking
one."
He studied his wedding ring. Maybe he's thinking
about his wife, I thought. I wished he'd say
something.
"We think the towheaded kid is going to be
all right. He burned one arm pretty badly,
though, trying to drag the other kid out the
window. Johnny, well, I don't know about him.
A piece of timber caught him across the back---
he might have a broken back, and he was burned
pretty severely. He passed out before he got
out the window. They're giving him plasma
now." He must have seen the look on my face
because he hurriedly changed the subject.
"I swear, you three are the bravest kids I've
seen in a long time. First you and the black
haired kid climbing in that window, and then
the tough-looking kid
going back in to save him. Mrs. O'Briant and
I think you were sent straight from heaven.
Or are you just professional heroes or something?"
Sent from heaven? Had he gotten a good look
at Dallas? "No, we're greasers," I said. I
was too worried and scared to appreciate the
fact that he was trying to be funny.
"You're what?"
"Greasers. You know, like hoods, JD's. Johnny
is wanted for murder, and Dallas has a record
with the fuzz a mile long."
"Are you kidding me?" Jerry stared at me as
if he thought I was still in shock or something.
"I am not. Take me to town and you'll find
out pretty quick."
"We're taking you to a hospital there anyway.
The address card in your billfold said that
was where you lived. Your name's really Ponyboy?"
"Yeah. Even on my birth certificate. And don't
bug me about it. Are..."--- I felt weak---
"are the little kids okay?"
"Just fine. A little frightened maybe. There
were some short explosions right after you
all got out. Sounded just exactly like gunfire."
Gunfire. There went our gun. And Gone with
the Wind. Were we sent from heaven? I started
to laugh weakly. I guess that guy knew how
close to hysterics I really was, for he talked
to me in a low soothing voice all the way
to the hospital.
I WAS SITTING in the waiting room, waiting
to hear how Dally and Johnny were. I had been
checked over, and except for a few burns and
a big bruise across my back, I was all right.
I had watched them bring Dally and Johnny
in on stretchers. Dally's eyes were closed,
but when I spoke he had tried to grin and
had told me that if I ever did a stupid thing
like that again he'd beat the tar out of me.
He was still swearing at me when they took
him on in. Johnny was unconscious. I had been
afraid to look at him, but I was relieved
to see that his face wasn't burned. He just
looked very pale and still and sort of sick.
I would have cried at the sight of him so
still except I couldn't in front of people.
Jerry Wood had stayed with me all the time.
He kept thanking me for getting the kids out.
He didn't seem to mind our being hoods. I
told him the whole story--- starting when
Dallas and Johnny and I had met at the corner
of Pickett and Sutton. I left out the part
about the gun and our hitching a ride in the
freight car. He was real nice about it and
said that being heroes would help get us out
of trouble, especially since it was self defense
and all.
I was sitting there, smoking a cigarette,
when Jerry came back in from making a phone
call. He stared at me for a second. "You shouldn't
be smoking."
I was startled. "How come?" I looked at my
cigarette. It looked okay to me. I looked
around for a "No Smoking" sign and couldn't
find one. "How come?"
"Why, uh," Jerry stammered, "uh, you're too
young."
"I am?" I had never thought about it. Everyone
in our neighborhood, even the girls, smoked.
Except for Darry, who was too proud of his
athletic health to risk a cigarette, we had
all started smoking at an early age. Johnny
had been smoking since he was nine; Steve
started at eleven. So no one thought it unusual
when I started. I was the weed-fiend in my
family--- Soda smokes only to steady his nerves
or when he wants to look tough.
Jerry simply sighed, then grinned. "There
are some people here to see you. Claim to
be your brothers or something."
I leaped up and ran for the door, but it was
already open and Soda had me in a bear hug
and was swinging me around. I was so glad
to see him I could have bawled.
Finally he set me down and looked at me. He
pushed my hair back. "Oh, Ponyboy, your hair...
your tuff, tuff hair..."
Then I saw Darry. He was leaning in the doorway,
wearing his olive jeans and black T-shirt.
He was still tall, broad-shouldered Darry;
but his fists were jammed in his pockets and
his eyes were pleading. I simply looked at
him. He swallowed and said in a husky voice,
"Ponyboy..."
I let go of Soda and stood there for a minute.
Darry didn't like me... he had driven me away
that night... he had hit me... Darry hollered
at me all the time... he didn't give a hang
about me.... Suddenly I realized, horrified,
that Darry was crying. He didn't make a sound,
but tears were running down his cheeks. I
hadn't seen him cry in years, not even when
Mom and Dad had been killed. (I remembered
the funeral. I had sobbed in spite of myself;
Soda had broken down and bawled like a baby;
but Darry had only stood there,
his fists in his pockets and that look on
his face, the same helpless, pleading look
that he was wearing now.)
In that second what Soda and Dally and Two-Bit
had been trying to tell me came through. Darry
did care about me, maybe as much as he cared
about Soda, and because he cared he was trying
too hard to make something of me. When he
yelled "Pony, where have you been all this
time?" he meant "Pony, you've scared me to
death. Please be careful, because I couldn't
stand it if anything happened to you."
Darry looked down and turned away silently.
Suddenly I broke out of my daze.
"Darry!" I screamed, and the next thing I
knew I had him around the waist and was squeezing
the daylights out of him.
"Darry," I said, "I'm sorry..."
He was stroking my hair and I could hear the
sobs racking him as he fought to keep back
the tears. "Oh, Pony, I thought we'd lost
you... like we did Mom and Dad..."
That was his silent fear then--- of losing
another person he loved. I remembered how
close he and Dad had been, and I wondered
how I could ever have thought him hard and
unfeeling. I listened to his heart pounding
through his T-shirt and knew everything
was going to be okay now. I had taken the
long way around, but I was finally home. To
stay.
