

Second Chance Romance by Asrai Devin

Published by Asrai Devin at Smashwords

Copyright 2010 Asrai Devin

Updated November 2014

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Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author

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### Table of Contents

Title Page

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Epilogue

About Asrai Devin

Other books by Asrai Devin

Chapter 1

1994

Math class bored Kip Turner. He was bored at school most of the time. He did well without trying. He didn't need to be the best. He only needed to maintain an eighty-percent average and his parents would let him play sports. He managed that without too much effort.

His raised hand caused Mr. Parker to sigh. "Yes, Mr. Turner."

"Can I have a hall pass?" Parker's eyes narrowed. Kip took a bathroom break daily. "I'm done with the assignment." The teacher's shoulders dropped, and he waved Kip to his desk at the front.

On the way to the bathroom a bulletin board display beside the English room caught his eye. When he realized it wasn't his English class on display, his heart slowed. He didn't want his crap on display for the entire school. He read an uninspired, regurgitated essay and rolled his eyes. He glanced at the title in bold, pink and blue letters, "My Future Plans."

He turned to go back to class, when another poster drew his eye. A full page of meticulous handwriting, twice as many paragraphs as the others. He glanced at the attached picture of a child with a pile of stuffed animals on her bed. She held a stick and pointing at something unseen behind her. Intrigued by the story behind the picture and what someone could be planning so thoroughly, Kip began to read.

### My Future Plans by Mandy Green

### My Great-Grandmother was a teacher. I didn't know her, unfortunately. My grandmother still tells me stories her mother told her about teaching in a one-room schoolhouse. That sounded really great to me. I set up my own one-room schoolhouse in my bedroom as a child.

### Ever since I was five I wanted to be a teacher. I used to line up my stuffed animals in rows and teach them whatever it was I happened to be studying. I always tried to make it more exciting than my teachers had. I don't know if I succeeded, but it did succeed in making me a better student. Thus proving that teaching someone else something is the best way to learn.

### Throughout my school career, as a student, I've had exciting teachers and I've had boring teachers. The teachers who are excited are the ones who care about the students and the subject matter.

### I once had a teacher who didn't just teach us subject lessons. Her lessons went beyond the classroom. Her caring went beyond the schoolyard. She helped many of her students out of what felt like hopeless situations. She gave us confidence to tackle our lessons inside the classroom. We carried that confidence into the world. I want to pass her spirit onto others as it was given to me.

### I had another teacher who made lessons come alive. If we were studying fractions in math, we were measuring. If we were studying a story, we were making it into a play. I want to teach children that even the most boring of subjects, like History, can be exciting.

### These are just some of the reasons I am going to be a teacher. I want to show someone all their potential as it has been shown to me.

Kip stared slack jawed at the poster. He drew his eyes away from the words back to the accompanying picture. The girl, about eight, and the described stuffed animals in neat rows, while she held a book in front of them. A photograph of young Mandy Green, while she taught her stuffed animal class in her one-room schoolhouse.

Kip read two more posters, finding both similar drivel. They wanted to follow in the footsteps of their parents or aunts or uncles, because the job was rewarding and fun. Kip rolled his eyes and moved to another. The English teacher opened his door and came out into the hallway. "Back to class before I report you for loitering."

Kip found it easier to agree with the pompous man. "Going," Kip walked back toward his classroom.

His eyes rolled in his spinning head. How could one person, one high school student, have so much conviction? Not one other essay contained half her passion. She was singularly focused on the goal of becoming a teacher, on inspiring others.

He returned to his class and picked his pencil back up, pretending to study the math text that lay open on his desk.

What would he answer if asked about his plans for the future? Only one thing had any long-term interest for him: hockey. He wasn't particularly good at anything else, nor did he have interests outside sports. He had a natural talent for playing goal and he loved nothing more than being on the ice. Too bad hockey season ended three weeks before. His second favorite sport, baseball, was gearing up for a new season.

He scrawled the answer for a question on the page that followed the current assignment. Sitting here sucked; he could be outside playing catch. He couldn't imagine working at some boring desk job for the rest of his life. He couldn't imagine working with his hands either. Any of those jobs wouldn't challenge him. He had to make a career out of hockey, because he could think of nothing else he could do nor anything he wanted to do.

He started to panic about it when Parker raised his head. The chair his fat ass sat on squeaked backward. "Mandy Green, come here, please?"

Mandy Green. Holy crap. His new heroine was in his math class. She must be completely beautiful and full of life. He could introduce himself after class. He turned, openly watching, the girl with the beautiful name.

He blinked as he saw a tall, overweight girl stand up next to him. She kept her head down, avoiding eye contact with anyone. He recognized her as the girl with the best marks in the eleventh-grade. He'd thought about trying to beat her, but playing hockey was far more interesting than studying.

Plus, he'd been dating Cassie Morgan almost the whole hockey season, the prettiest girl in eleventh. For that reason, Kip managed to keep the relationship going, but eventually he grew tired of her lack of interest in anything besides herself and her friends. Cassie had no interest in Kip, except being seen with him in his Mustang. Despite that, he let Cassie take up much of his time.

When she returned to her desk beside him, he looked at her openly. Under her glasses, she had dark brown eyes. Her hair was long and stylishly done, soft curls falling around her face. She was intently writing on her paper and he could see that she wasn't working on her math. Her paper half-filled with the same meticulous handwriting that was on the hallway essay.

She must have felt his eyes and looked at him. When she saw he was staring at her, she looked away, flipping her page until she was back on her math work.

Kip tapped his pencil on his page. Under those terrible glasses, a few years out of date, she was radiant. Or she could, if she smiled and showed some confidence.

When the bell rang, his buddy Matt called his name, interrupting his plan to approach her. By the time he pulled himself away from that conversation, she was gone.

She was at her locker in the hallway when he passed a few minutes later. She glanced his way, but when she noticed his gaze, she buried her head deep in her locker.

Okay, Mandy Green was painfully shy. That made sense. No one knew if she had any friends. Now he recognized the girl. Most of what he knew of her, he had heard from his friends, while they made fun of her. She was an easy target, spending her lunch hours alone in the library.

### * * * *

2006

Oh, to be sixteen again, Mandy Green thought as she added her young cousin to her Facebook friends list.

Maybe not sixteen, she amended. Sixteen wasn't a good year. It was the year they moved from where she'd grown up to North Battleford, SK. She made no friends in her new high school and had no way to meet any. She had at least four strikes against her. She was overweight and taller than average. She wore thick glasses that were several years out of date. And she couldn't find stylish clothes that fit her properly.

Near the end of that horrible school year, her life turned wonderful. She met Kip Turner, the most popular boy in school. The boy she had a crush on since the moment she walked into the new school. The boy she never thought would talk to her in a million years.

She pushed that out of her mind. She didn't want to remember anything about her teenage years. She would not think about the Battleford years, not now.

Mandy shook her head and closed her browser window. Next she'd wax romantic and dwell on lost love. None of which helped anyone pay bills, get housework done. And romance wasn't helping her raise any children.

In Mandy's case, child. Down the hall she could see her son's bedroom light still on. She made her way there. Propping herself on the door frame, she leaned into the room. His attention fixed on the book he held in his hands.

Giving her a moment of sentimental thought, she moved in and sat on his bed. He barely glanced at her. She reached out and stroked his hair for a moment, until he pushed her away.

She snapped to attention. He was eight now. The man of the house in his eyes. So he proclaimed to her a month ago, shortly after his eighth birthday. She'd had to bite her tongue, literally, to refrain from laughing. He had been so serious when he'd said it.

With a sigh, Mandy stood again. "Five more minutes, Colton."

"Sure Mom," He didn't even notice when she kissed his head and stroked his hair. Small wonders. Until four months ago, he ignored the written word. Then this new series came along, and now she couldn't stop him from reading. At dinner, in the bathroom, instead of watching television.

Mandy puttered around the house for five minutes then shut his light off. He protested with a whiny, "Mom! I was nearly done with this chapter."

She flicked the light back on and took the book from his hands. "Colton, time is up." She shoved the bookmark against the spine of the book, and put it on his dresser. "Do I need to tuck you in?"

That got her a glare. But he got under the covers and flopped his head on the pillow. His back was to her, his body rigid. She kissed his cheek again, and he wiped it off. "I love you, Colton," she whispered. "See you in the morning."

"Yeah sure," he said, pulling the covers up further on his body. Mandy shrugged and walked to the door. She heard him turn in bed and stopped. "Mom, I love you too."

"Night," Mandy returned to the living room to curl up on the sofa with her latest book.

Across the room, the beep of her computer startled her. She thought she shut off the computer. Rolling her shoulders, she went over and peered at the screen. "You've got mail," she muttered, using the over used AOL e-mail greeting, as she leaned over the desk, grabbing at the mouse.

She clicked on the screen, finding the right folder her mail had been diverted into. She stared at the subject line: Kip Turner has added you as a friend on Facebook.

Mandy dropped into the chair. She rubbed her eyes for a moment then looked back at the screen. Kip Turner. Motherfucker. The one person she was determined not to think about tonight. The one person from the one place.

She clicked the link accompanying the e-mail. But as it asked her if she wanted to accept or ignore the request, she hesitated.

Mandy leaned back in her chair and rubbed her eyes. She let a picture of Kip form in her mind. Kip as she remembered him, not the Kip she watched on television. That Kip was not HER Kip. The two had some similarities. He was still strikingly handsome, and even behind the mask, his green eyes glowed. Making him look like the Tiger Goalie he was sometimes called. He even painted a tiger on his mask.

The Kip she remembered was the handsome young man who strolled up to her as she sat in the library at lunchtime. His carved face, framed by hair obviously in a grow-out period. He was so handsome, so confident as he stood next to her.

It scared Mandy to even look at him, so she turned her attention back to her writing. He couldn't possibly want to talk to her. Wasn't he dating queen bee of eleventh grade, Cassie Morgan? "Hey, uh," he snapped his fingers, "Shit, I can't remember your name. But uh, you're in my math class right?"

She looked at him and shook her head. "I don't think so," she mumbled. Why wouldn't he go away? She wasn't about to give him the answers to their math homework or anything.

"Sure, you sit behind Sherry. Across from me." He sat beside her, placing his binder on the table. "I'm totally not asking you for the answers. I missed class yesterday and if I fail the next test, my parents won't let me play in the baseball tournament next weekend."

Mandy gave him a brief look. Her face flushed every time she realized his attention was on her. He was so good-looking it hurt. She glanced around. His friends must be watching somewhere. This was obviously a practical joke they were playing on her. Get answers or make her look stupid somehow. She wouldn't fall for it. She steeled herself against his charm and good-looks.

"Please?" he added.

She shook her head. "I'm not waiting here to be your practical joke," she said. Where had the confident sound in her voice come from?

"No joke. I really need those notes." She glanced at him again and met his eyes. He looked sincere. Her resolve melted from that one look. She opened her binder and pulled out her notes from the previous day's math period.

"Thanks. I'll sit here and copy them, so you don't think I ran off with them. If that's okay? I won't disturb you. I'm Kip Turner, by the way." He offered his hand.

She knew who he was. The most popular boy in school. The best athlete in the entire region. Everyone knew that. He would play professional hockey, the newspapers proclaimed. She saw him the first minute she walked into the school. He was so good-looking; she had a crush on him in those first seconds. She knew she never had a chance with a guy like Kip so she was stuck with her fantasies of him. That was good enough for her.

"Don't worry about it," she mumbled. She'd never talk to him again after this. She couldn't figure out when he noticed her.

"What's your name?" he asked.

So much for not disturbing her. "Mandy." She kept her eyes on her paper.

"Mandy, that's a nice name. Can you help me here? I can't read this part."

Forcing herself not to sigh, she turned and looked at her paper. He grinned at her. "Just kidding. Your writing is typewriter perfect. I wanted you to look at me."

In spite of herself, she smiled. Giddiness, an unusual emotion for her. He wanted her to look at him. Her. She wanted to hug herself with glee.

"That's better," he said. "I was afraid you didn't like me."

Hah! She shrugged. "I like to be alone, y'know."

"Nope. I better let you get back to work then."

She smiled again and looked back at her paper. A few minutes later, he tapped her shoulder. "Uh, can you explain something to me? I'm totally not getting this."

She spent the remaining lunch hour explaining the concepts to him, while he stared at her with open interest. The bell rang, and she gathered her things to go. "Thanks," He offered his hand. She shook it, trying not to tremble from mere contact with him. "Can you help me tomorrow with an English assignment? Cause you're like this really awesome teacher." He glanced at his feet.

Mandy looked around again. "Sure. I guess. If you want."

Lunches in the library turned into meeting after school in the library. Three weeks from when they met, he invited her to his house after school. Within a month, he asked her to dinner.

Mandy pulled herself out her memory. Next she'd start thinking about her first kiss, or losing her virginity. Or when Kip left. She let him go, actually she pushed him to go. He would be the next professional star goalie.

She felt the overwhelming sadness in her chest. A repeat of the sadness she felt the day he moved out of their shared apartment in Saskatoon. She hadn't shown any emotion that day. She knew if she did he wouldn't leave.

Mandy shook herself out of the past. She wouldn't decide on the Facebook friend tonight. Maybe not this week. She didn't need to rush the decision.

As she shut down the computer, her limbs gained ten pounds each. So did her eyelids, as the lights took on a blinding sheen. She stacked her school papers and put them in her bag, ready for the morning.

After checking Colton once more, she locked the front door and shut off the lights. Another day as single mother, over.

Chapter 2

Kip glared at the computer screen. One pending friend request and three new added friends. He knew who remained pending: Mandy Green. He wanted to scream with frustration at her. Was she deliberately playing with him? Was she harboring a grudge for his not keeping in contact all these years? She asked for no contact. A clean break would be best for them.

Of course, women could be irrational at times.

Was she married? A gaggle of kids? He heard once from someone back home that she had a kid and was taught school in Alberta. Further questions got him no specific whereabouts. e hadn't had the courage to call her mother and ask. Her mother loved him, but he feared the woman. Maybe he feared the answer.

An hour later, as he played video games, he moved from annoyance with her to annoyance with himself. He shouldn't have lost contact with her all those years ago. He should have kept track better. He shouldn't have left.

He dropped the controller on the floor. That thought warranted some examination. Which was the greater life goal: marrying your dream love versus having your dream career?

He ran his hands through his hair. His train of thought was pointless. It wasn't as if he could go back and change what had happened. He'd taken this path. Maybe it wasn't the perfect one. God knew he had his bad years.

Especially in the romance department. He dated, but being traded every few years wasn't conducive to a lasting relationship.

He turned off his gaming console. Truthfully, his lifestyle was an excuse. No, he wouldn't think about all the stupid, mother fucking what ifs now. He checked the clock, he had an early skate in the morning, but he wasn't tired.

Wandering around his new house, he felt a hole in his chest. He had all the toys he could buy. The four bedroom house was fully furnished with only the best. He had hired an interior decorator, trained in Feng Shui, so all his Chi flowed the right directions and the colors didn't clash. He had spared no expense in making his new house a home.

He hadn't moved into a home of his own before. When he was traded to Calgary, he suddenly felt the urge to settle in. A p retreat on his few off days and during the summer and off-season. The city had felt like home since his arrival, though he didn't understand why. So after careful searching he bought a house that he truly liked, decorated it, and filled it with new things. Everything he'd dreamed of having.

As far as things went, he wanted nothing. His father gave Kip anything he wanted, as long as he played well. His performance was never an issue. He owned several cars as a teen, all the latest video games, top-of-the-line hockey equipment. And Mandy.

He became a goalie fairly early in his hockey career. Sometime in a preteen or an early teen season, at a tournament, both the team's goalies were out sick, every kid had to take a turn in goal, because none of them played the position. During Kip's turn, he showed an aptitude for the position and had stuck there, despite his skill as a forward.

Kip was happy as a goalie. He had a natural skill for it and he didn't have to work his ass off to make his father happy. He played on provincial champion teams and traveled throughout Canada, playing the game he loved.

After he graduated, he had an offer to play in Saskatoon for the Blades. At the time he was in love with Mandy, and she planned to attend the University in Saskatoon, so he followed her. For a year, they played house. It was in Saskatoon that he was scouted and ultimately drafted to a professional hockey team.

He hesitated upon hearing the news. He'd always dreamed of playing professionally. He also dreamed of marrying Mandy. Suddenly, he was torn between two worlds. Mandy, being mature beyond her years, sat him down. "You have to sign, Kip. You have to play hockey."

"I want to. I really do. But not if I have to leave you. Come with me. Go to school out East, wherever I play."

She shook her head, hiding her sadness. She always hid that. Even the first day they met; she hid her sadness. "We have to." She swallowed hard. He watched her throat move. She had to clear her throat before she could continue, "We have to let go. We have to grow up. We have to do some things for ourselves. Maybe it's the way it's meant to be."

He rubbed his eyes, wishing he could hide his tears. He grabbed her and hugged her hard. "We have a few months before you go. Let's enjoy that. And we'll meet again. If it's meant to be, we'll be together again."

He kissed her as the tears streamed down their faces. He picked her up and carried her to their bedroom. What would be her bedroom in a matter of months. He undressed her slowly, kissing and licking the skin as it was exposed. He teased her with his hands and his mouth until she was squirming under him, begging him. He guided his cock into her, taking them to a spiraling climax together.

He kissed her, as they held close in the aftermath. He whispered to her how much he loved her and how he would always love her.

He thought the sadness was erased. When it returned, he realized it was only pushed aside. It would always be there if an end date had been set.

It would always be there as long as they were apart.

Now in his empty house, Kip lay on his empty bed. He never let anyone else into his house or into his bed. However many other women he fucked, and there were a number. Many women were keen to be with a hockey star. He never let anyone else into his heart.

That's why it mattered so much he learn where Mandy was in her life. As long as he never settled with another woman, he could hope to be with Mandy again someday.

Kip stared at the ceiling, half-hard from the memory of making love to her, stunned with the knowledge that he still loved Mandy. Or he thought he still loved her. Was it real love? Or was it a stupid feeling left from high school? Was that real love or puppy love?

Why couldn't he move on?

He avoided asking himself those questions for a very long time. But tonight there was no way to avoid himself.

It was eleven years ago, that part of his life was as meaningless as the hockey he'd played then. He was in love with a ghost. He was no longer eighteen-years-old and thirty-year-old Mandy was not his Mandy. Even if he did find her, she was no longer the girl who would be his forever.

### * * * *

Mandy tapped her fingers lightly on home row of the keyboard. A week that stupid friend request remained pending. A week. It started to creep into all areas of her life. She even dreamt about it last night, which was why she sat at the keyboard at 5:45 AM, waiting for the computer to boot.

She logged into stupid Facebook and clicked send message. She went with a casual message.

Hey Kip

It's nice to hear from you again. What are you doing these days? Besides the obvious that is. I've caught a few of your games on television. Hope to hear from you soon - MG

She didn't have a choice now that she had sent that message. She chose the option to accept his request. She buried her head in her hands. What was she thinking? With a deep sigh she typed his name into Google and clicked the first link that popped up, a news item. He'd recently been traded. To Calgary.

Fuck. She lived an hour north of the city. Far within visiting distance. In fact, they visited Calgary frequently, with the zoo and the amusement park in the area. She could visit Edmonton for shopping trips and convince Colton that the attractions in Edmonton were better.

She propped her head on her hand and stared at his picture that accompanied the article. A standard press release photo. His hair-line receded slightly. He wore a goatee these days. A new development from the last time she saw his picture.

Another Monday morning. Time to get showered and dressed. She slammed the keyboard shut, then cringed. Too early.

When she returned to the living room she found Colton at the computer desk. "Who is this guy?" he asked, pointing at Kip's picture.

"Someone I used to know," she said, "Go get showered Cole."

"Does he play hockey? Like in the pros?"

Mandy frowned. When did her son pay any attention to hockey? "I suppose yes. He was traded to Calgary a month ago."

"Oh, Mark is a big Oiler's fan. I thought you could get us tickets or something." He opened a new browser window and typed in his favorite game site.

Mark was Colton's new best friend. Mandy wasn't sure about the friendship, as she knew little about this new boy. "I see. Well, it doesn't matter. I haven't talked to him in eleven years. I doubt I'll be asking him any favorsGo shower, please. No wait, tell me what you want for lunch."

After his shower, his focus remained on Kip and hockey. Not something she wanted to discuss when the sun had barely risen. "How do you know this guy anyway?"

"I knew him in high school. Eat your breakfast. I don't have time to talk about this now."

"That's so cool. You went to school with a guy who plays professional hockey. I can't wait to tell the guys at school about this."

"I thought you liked soccer."

"Nah, the guys aren't into that anymore."

"Colton, you don't have to like something because your friends are into it. And don't expect that you'll play hockey."

"Geez Ma. You're grumpy this morning."

Mandy sighed, looking at her bowl of porridge. "You're right. I didn't sleep well."

"Don't take it out on me."

That made Mandy smile. It had been her and Colton for six years.

For two years after Kip left, Mandy didn't date. Eric was the brother of a fellow teaching student. They met when Eric came to Saskatoon for a visit during his days off from his job on the oil rigs. He was handsome and rich and he lavished attention on her as if Mandy was the first woman he had seen in weeks, maybe even months.

He persisted in his affections when he went back to work, with phone calls. And sending flowers. The next time Eric came to town it was to see Mandy, who gave in and slept with him almost immediately. He stayed at her apartment until he returned to work. The sporadic contact relieved Mandy as she still reeled from Kip's departure.

Six months into the affair, worry set in. She was late. She tried to hide her worries from Eric when he called. But the weeks passed too quickly. and she feared her menstrual period would never return. After a visit with her doctor, she cried herself to sleep. She wasn't supposed to be pregnant with anyone's baby, anyone except Kip.

How often in those last months together had she wished to get pregnant? Not so Kip would stay, but so she would have a piece of him

Shaking, in the dim light of the kitchen stove, Mandy dialed Eric's number. He wasn't available. She left a message that he was to call no matter the time. Mandy lay in the fetal position, wrapped in one of Kip's old sweaters. She hadn't heard from Kip in two years. He kept in touch at first, later she insisted on a clean break. For him, she reminded herself, as the tears came again. She wished she could call him, but now, pregnant with another man's child, that door slammed shut.

The phone rang, jarring Mandy. She sniffed and cleared her throat, as she tried to remove any evidence that she'd been crying. "Hello?" No such luck on the deceit.

"Mandy, they said it was urgent."

"It wasn't. Cripes, Eric, I'm pregnant."

"And it's ... I mean. No."

"Yes," she sniffed, and reached for another tissue.

"Marry me."

"What?"

"Marry me. I mean it Mandy. I know we haven't been together that long. And there's the whole... Never mind. We'll be a family."

"I can't get married. I still have a year left of university. I can't have a baby." The tears flowed again, freely this time.

"Mandy, don't make any decisions now, okay? I'll get some days off. I'll come down so we can discuss this. I'm shocked, but in a good way. You know. It'll be okay. We'll work it out. Okay?"

He sounded so strong and confident. So much more than his twenty-five years. She didn't have the energy to do it alone. She took the support he offered. "Okay, Eric. Not marriage, I mean. But let's do this baby together."

"Okay. Great babe. I'll call you when I know I'll be coming. It'll only be a few days. You'll see."

Mandy turned on all the lights in her apartment after the phone call. She packed everything that was Kip's into a box. She taped the box shut. As she put the box in the back of her closet, she closed her eyes and let the finality wash over her. A deep sadness, but also release. She could move on.

She looked at her bed, now void of blankets. She still used the blankets she and Kip shared. The same pillows, the same everything. She threw everything out. She had to start over with Eric.

It took an extra year of school part-time to finish her degree. She finished a fully certified teacher. That box of Kip's belongings, small things he left and mementos she saved from their relationship, remained in the back of Mandy's closet. She always meant to throw it out, but she couldn't. It moved from place to place with her, but remained unopened.

"Mom, why are you crying?" Colton broke into her thoughts.

Mandy rubbed at her eyes, suddenly aware the old memories made her tear up. "I was thinking about how happy your dad and I were, when we found out about you. It made me a little misty eyed." Crap, her makeup would run. She'd have to redo her face.

"I'm sorry when you feel sad."

"This wasn't sad. This was happy."

Colton didn't reply. He put his bowl and spoon in the dishwasher. Mandy stood and hugged her still young son. He was wise beyond his years sometimes, leaving her unnerved when he read beyond what she told him.

"Come on babe, get your backpack packed."

"Troops move out," Colton ordered, standing ramrod straight. He made a quick salute and marched off to his bedroom. It made Mandy laugh. Colton threw a smile over his shoulder. He knew exactly how to change her mood.

Chapter 3

Kip entered his hotel room. Another hotel in another city, and another game played. In his case, another game watched. He was the new guy; he had to prove his worth if he were to start a game. And the front-runner was on a hot streak, no need to break that.

Kip pulled his laptop out of its protective case. He hadn't been home in nearly a week. So much travel time put in. Ice time, dry land, media coverage. When he stood back and looked at his life, his head spun a little.

After he plugged into the hotel's free high-speed Internet, he checked his e-mail. His heart skipped a few beats when he saw: your friend request has been accepted. He had only one pending. Mandy Green. Oh, she sent a message as well. He nearly clapped his hands like a giddy school-girl.

It was a casual message. How are you? What have you been doing all these years? Saw some of your games.

Well, good to know she'd been thinking about him during the ensuing years, even a little.

He found little information about her current life via Facebook. She rarely updated her status nor did he recognize any of her friends. She posted only one picture, which looked like a school photograph. She was a schoolteacher, fourth grade. She didn't even have an exact location, only that her network had been set to Edmonton, which wasn't useful information. She was in Alberta though. That held promise for him.

He pushed away from the computer. His mind raced with unanswered questions and the many things he wanted to say to her. Not one appropriate thing came to mind. He got a water bottle from the fridge and emptied it in one swallow.

His heart raced and as he paced the length of his room. He considered taking advantage of the hotel's fitness room. Suddenly, all those missing years of emotions welled inside him.

Mandy, he stared at her picture, wishing he could touch her. She had short hair now. Her face seemed wider than he recalled. But the head shot she posted might not be the best depiction.

He grabbed his room key. He needed to expend some energy. At the door he changed directions and put on a bathing suit instead. He headed downstairs to the hot tub, with any luck it would be empty. He checked his watch; it was late locally, but still early in the team's regular time zone.

He cursed himself. Depending on luck was stupid, especially in his line of work, and especially given how things were going for him lately.

No surprise. His luck hadn't changed. Three guys from the team occupied the space. They saw him coming, so he couldn't turn around and run. He eased himself into the hot water.

Talk was about the game, the one that night, last week, next month. It all seemed the same to him. It was often exciting as hell. He traveled, saw different places, and played a game he loved for a shit-load of money.

But other times, tonight for instance, it was exhausting and slightly shallow. Mostly he saw arenas, hotel rooms and the occasional bar. He missed having someone to return to at the end of the day. He hadn't had that someone since, well, Mandy.

Fuck, why was he dwelling on her now? He hadn't given her much thought in eleven fucking years.

Eleven. He hated that number.

He faked a yawn and lifted himself from the water. "All the hot water has made me suddenly tired. Think I'll head it in."

"Aww come on," Corey Porter said, "join us for a drink."

"No, thanks guys. Watching you play has worn me out." He smiled, hoping they wouldn't take it as an insult to them or Lundin.

"Sooner or later Lundin will be off this hot streak and you'll have a chance to show us up," Kyle McLachlan said.

"I'm not stranger to being the new guy." Kip wrapped his towel around himself. "Have a good night." He lifted his hand over his shoulder in a goodnight gesture. Corey and Kyle still protested, but Kip kept moving.

Back in his room, he sat in front of his computer, and hit the reply button.

### Hi Mandy,

### The past eleven years have flown by. I'm very well. I was recently traded to Calgary and bought my first house in the city. Still single. Nothing too exciting. I've done a lot of traveling over the years. What about you? Where are you living? I bet you're married with a gaggle of kids in your house, and win the hearts of all your students. I am on the road right now. We have one more game before we return home. I'll be thankful to have some time off in my house. Thanks for writing. I hope to hear from you soon. -KT

Kip hit the send button before he lost his nerve. He browsed around the social networking site for a few more minutes, saying a quick hello to his sisters. He closed the browser window and tapped his fingers on his keyboard, begging sleep to come.

He sat on his bed and pulled the little box from his suitcase on the floor. He lifted the top off and set it to the side.

On top sat a folded piece of paper, rather worn out from years of his unfolding and refolding. He lifted it out and read the words, pretending she was standing over his shoulder whispering the words into his ear.

He refolded the paper and set it carefully in the lid. The pictures were next. He handled them carefully, only touching the edges. The first was their graduation picture, the professional one. Mandy in a stunning red dress that hugged her curves, he in a black suit. Then some friends and family had snapped on that day. He pulled out the picture of them standing in front of the apartment they shared, which her mother took on move-in day.

Next he pulled out several photo booth streams of them, laughing and kissing. He looked at each and set them on top of Mandy's poem.

He kept little mementos: stubs from movies and a concert they attended. Silly notes and a child's Valentines card she gave him. He pressed the card to his face, wishing it held her scent. But he could not capture that part of her because she didn't wear any specific perfume. He pressed it gently against his lips.

First, he removed the letter she sent after she broke it off with him. He didn't need to look at it, he had the contents memorized. He could probably reproduce every loop she'd made on that paper from his memory.

He touched it with his fingertips, dwelling on the memories locked in the paper. Before he let himself recall her words, he put everything back in the box as carefully as it came out.

He set the lid back on and pushed the box back into his bag. He vowed to throw the box out in the morning; the same promise he made every time he felt pathetic after looking at those old things. At the very least, he needed to stop packing them in his carry-on luggage. It was getting old. Maybe he'd give the box to Mandy, if she agreed to meet him for supper sometime.

He pulled back the hotel sheets and climbed between them, reaching for the remote. He had no need to dwell on false hopes any longer; for instance the hope of a second chance romance with Mandy Green.

### * * * *

Mandy woke from a dream. She ached between her legs that she hadn't felt in sometime. She looked at the clock. Five, which normally would be fine, but not on Saturday. She didn't want to wake so bloody early on Saturday morning from an erotic dream. It wasn't the first she had since Kip contacted her.

It was always the same thing, too. They were in his room, like their first time together. Except it wasn't sixteen-year-old Kip and Mandy. It was the Kip she saw on television and in newspapers. And it was her as she was. She hadn't gained much weight since college, but she had changed shape. She called herself pleasantly plump.

The ache in her cleft intensified as dream images flew through her mind. In the dark room, she rolled over and opened her side table drawer. Digging under the items she kept in there, her hand wrapped around the semisolid item she was looking for. Flicking the switch, her substitute man hummed to life. The vibration filled the quiet house. It wasn't as good as the real thing, but that was a distant memory these days, so it was better than nothing.

She pressed the vibrating toy against her soft mound. She laid back in her bed and closed her eyes, evoking the images of her dream again. She'd justify it later as too early to devise an original fantasy. Then she'd consider dating again.

She ended her train of thought. Fantasy sex was the issue. Getting off was the goal. Sating the ache in her pussy, at least for the rest of the day.

The past aside, she examined the dream. He would kiss her, his goatee scratching her face, scratching between her thighs. Until he had her squirming and crying out, as he had every time they made love. She always felt desired when she was with him, as if she were the sexiest woman in the world. When he was ready, usually after she had screamed with an orgasm at least once, he would enter her. He moved within her, with her, in slow silken thrusts, making it last as long as possible, until she thought she might pass out from the pleasure. Then he'd take them off the edge together.

When she found herself shaking with orgasm, she sighed with relief. She flicked off the switch and buried it back in the drawer. That was over now. It was sad that sex had become an annoying feeling in her body, something she had to take care of.

She reexamined the idea of dating. She dated over the years. Even in the last six months. Only few of them lasted longer than three dates and she wasn't about to jump into bed with some guy on a whim. She didn't need sex that badly. She needed a father for Colton, a partner in the house and someone to share everything about life with. Sex wasn't as important as finding those things. And few men wanted something deeper than sex, and those who wanted more didn't feel right somehow.

They weren't Kip.

Throwing back the covers, Mandy swung out of bed. She obviously wouldn't fall back asleep now.

She was thinking about dating again. She had masturbated alone to a fantasy of her high school boyfriend. Her life was on a downward slide. She needed to call Sophia. She needed a kick in the ass in the right direction. The only one who would give her that was Sophia, her best friend since the first day of college when she got lost. Sophia was two years older than her and became the older sister Mandy never had.

Although Sophia loved her to death, she probably wouldn't appreciate a pre-9 AM phone call. Sophia's youngest finally slept through the night. That left, oh, four hours to kill before she could get her kick in the ass. Mandy could find all sorts of trouble before then. Such as giving Kip her phone number, telling him she lived a short drive from him. Not that those things weren't inevitable. She was entirely screwed when it came to Kip Turner.

Okay, stay away from the computer. Colton would wake in two hours, which cut her time to find distraction in half. She had a briefcase full of papers to grade. She made herself a cup of tea and spread the papers on the dining room table. Colton made his appearance at seven, like clockwork. He stopped at the pantry and grabbed a granola bar. Without even so much as saying hello to Mandy, still marking tests at the kitchen table, he headed for the computer to play his favorite video game.

"Good morning to you too," Mandy said.

He threw up a hand in greeting. "If you are like this as a kid, how will I deal with you as a teenager?" she asked, good-naturedly.

He flashed her a smile but didn't stop or speak. Mandy shook her head. Two hours down, two left and she could still start on laundry.

At 8:21, her phone rang. No one called this early. None of her family would be up this early, none of her friends called her on a Saturday morning. Had Kip found her phone number somehow? Panic came in the milliseconds it took for call display to register.

She looked at the call display. It was Sophia. "Hi," Mandy chirped into the phone, "I was going to call you in about forty-nine minutes."

"Beat you to it. What were you calling for?"

"I needed an ass kicking."

"Don't swear," Colton said, turning from his game to look at her. Mandy stuck her tongue out at him.

"What for this time?" Sophia asked.

"Taking this into the bedroom," Mandy told her son. She closed her door and sat on her bed. "Are you on Facebook yet?"

"No. As if I have time for that. Meg is barely sleeping through the night."

"Don't join. It only lets people you shouldn't face ever again contact you."

"Eric?"

"Kip."

"Kip Turner, the Tiger?" It was a reference to his nickname, Tiger Goalie, because of his catlike eyes. The name had been around since high school. It was something Kip tried to squelch for years. Somewhere a sportscaster heard it and it carried on to the present.

"Yes, that Kip." Mandy rolled her eyes. Sophia's husband was a big Vancouver fan, and their eldest son began his first hockey season this fall. "He's in effing Calgary, Soph."

"So don't tell him where you are. Problem solved."

"Should I lie to him?"

"Just don't talk to him."

"Too late. We've messaged a few times now. He asked where I was and what I'm doing and all that stuff. And I answered that I'm here with Colton and a teacher. That's it."

"What did he say to that then?"

"He was all casual about it, teasing me about being vague. I can't put him off forever. Besides," Mandy cringed, but forced herself to confess, "I think I still love him. Or at the very least, something is very unfinished between us. I'm going to give in." Mandy let out a deep sigh. "Okay, kick my ass, Sophie. I'm ready."

A long pause came from the other end. Mandy pulled clothes from her dresser, to dress for the day. They had swimming plans with Mark later, in attempt to get to know Colton's new friend better.

When Sophia finally spoke she ignored Mandy's confession. "Let him know. Talk to him. Get together for coffee or dinner or whatever it is you need to finish with him." Sophia paused. Mandy wasn't sure if the pause was to let the words sink in or to consider her next words of advice. "You didn't let him go because you had nothing between you. You didn't let him go because you fell out of love. You let him go because you knew it was the right thing to do. You needed to let go, but I"m not sure you did You have to find closure with it all. That's what you lack."

"Okay, not the ass kicking I was looking for."

"Just a sec." Mandy listened while her friend conversed with the baby, who made a big mess of breakfast in the background. It was heartwarming. She needed to get to Saskatoon to visit them. Christmas break was coming up, she could make the extra trip to Saskatoon then. It would be a good distraction from what was going on in her life.

"Sorry," Sophia said, returning. "Sorry I couldn't give you what you were looking for. Think about it please. I think you need to get together to tie up the loose ends and all those what ifs. You've been what iffing this guy for eleven years, though you never admit it. Why do you think you never go out with a guy for more than two dates?"

"Because I never found a guy I meshed with."

"As well as you meshed with Kip. You are trying to replace him still."

"You're getting better with the ass kicking. Keep going."

"At least you aren't arguing with me."

"I haven't thought about it all yet."

"Admit I'm right."

"You are right. Somewhat. Mostly. What else?"

"Tell him you are in Red Deer, you'd love to get together. And hey if you can get some tickets to a game, uh, I could convince Tanner to come for a visit."

Mandy laughed. "I will let you know. Maybe I'll see you at Christmas. Get your spare room ready for me."

"Uh, that's taken now. You can have the fold out sofa. That's the best I can offer."

"All right. I'll take that." A screech on Sophia's end interrupted."Someone's calling for Mom. I'll let you go. Thanks Soph."

"That's what I'm here for. Call me when you are getting close to catching up with him."

Mandy turned off the cordless phone and opened her bedroom door. Colton turned to look at her from his computer chair, not daring to ask what that was about. "You'd better eat some breakfast."

### * * * *

Kip stared in shock at his e-mail.

### Kip,

### I hesitated on reconnecting with you. There's so much water under our bridge. I'm living in Red Deer with my son, Colton, who is eight. I teach grade four, which I love. My times of being wary are through. I'd love to talk to you and find out all about your travels over the past few years. Y'know, be friends. Again -MG

Mandy had written him back. Mandy was an hour from him, driving distance.

From his home. At the moment, she was across the country, as he was playing in Toronto. He'd been home for about twelve days before this. Twelve days, at least three of which he could have jumped in his car and driven to see her. Twelve days where she wrote him little notes, dropping bits of information about her life, leaving him hungry for more.

This was some kind of mind fuck. Why the sudden change of heart? Why the sudden confession? She knew where he was the whole time.

He shoved away from the desk, cursing.

Three game road trip. Three days before he could even consider the possibility of seeing her. Should he go see her?

No, he shouldn't jump at the bait. It had to be bait. He would keep playing it casual. He wouldn't act eager to see her. Why the hell should he be? She had a kid with another guy. He had no idea how much that other guy was in the picture. Sure she lived with her son, alone. What about the kid's dad? She hadn't said she was a single mom, but she hadn't said she was with anyone. Her name was still Green, so she probably wasn't married. He was jealous of someone he didn't even know. And the father to this child. The child that should have been his. Kip refused to think about what might have happened if she had gotten pregnant by him. They'd talked of having kids, that year they lived together. She wanted to finish school first, and he had to decide what he would do with the rest of his life. Amateur hockey didn't pay the bills, especially for a family. And he was damned if he would let Mandy support him.

Hello stupid, anyone home? Mandy had sent him off to play hockey. Sacrificing one happiness for another. Right or wrong, the road that ended with him and Mandy married had stopped long ago. His only choice was to be friends with her now. That was her offer.

To be friends with her, he would have to figure out how to stop living in the past. Stop all the what ifs. Not imagine that she would beg to have him back.

There had been a dream the night before. They met and it was the same old Mandy he knew a decade before. And she told him she hadn't stopped loving him, she hadn't ever loved anyone else and did he feel the same?

He woke from that in a cold sweat. It left him distracted all day, which showed in his practice that morning. This got him an ass kicking. That kind of performance wouldn't get him any game starts. He managed to pull it together for the game, pocketing a win in his stats. He was damn lucky he'd even been allowed to play after that practice.

He sat again with his fingers poised over the keyboard. Okay. He would be casual. He wouldn't hope that they would get back together. They would be friends, who ended a romance of a lifetime, so he could play a stupid game.

He was so screwed. He was going into this hoping to have her back. And he would get his stupid heart broken.

Well, once a stupid romantic always a stupid romantic, he thought as he typed a reply.

### Your reply brings up a hundred questions. How did you end up moving from Saskatoon to Red Deer? I've heard lots of good things about the city. One of the guys here, his wife is from the city and he raves about it every time he visits. Do you live in a good neighborhood? In a secure apartment?

### Do you get home to see your parents often? I don't get back there as often as I should or could. The old town seems bland, boring. Even a little depressing, so I try to avoid it if I can. I know I'm a bad son.

### What about your brother? What is he doing? Well, I think that's enough things for now. I'm an open book if you have any questions. I know I'm not giving much up, but it's difficult. -KT

They had always signed their notes and letters with their initials. The old habit had stuck with him all those years, as so many things had.

After he sent the note, he pulled the box out of its place in his bag beside the hotel double bed. He sat atop the covers and opened the lid. He lifted out everything but the letter without looking at it. He pulled out the letter still stained with tears from when Mandy had written it. He knew the words from memory, but he needed to see them in black and white.

### My love,

### I never wanted to hurt you. I think you need to concentrate on playing. It's your dream. Mine is being a teacher, and I have to work here on doing that. I'd be a distraction. I love you too much to do that. I'll be done in three years, and I'll call you then. I think it's for the best. I liked you from the moment I saw you the first day I walked into that school. I never dreamed I'd get to spend two years with the man of my dreams, let alone be loved. All my love MG

Kip was tempted to crumple the letter in his hands. He hadn't looked at it in over a year. He read it about once a year to remind him of the reasons everything had happened as it had. To try not to regret the past.

He'd lived the lie for eleven years. He'd told himself that he didn't regret letting her go. Maybe Mandy felt the same way, and he could have his second chance with her. If she didn't feel the same, then she wasn't the Mandy he'd loved all these years, and he'd be able to finally get over her. Either way, there would be some fucking closure.

He put all the things back in the box and shoved it back into the bag. On the desk the computer beeped and blinked. He had an e-mail. Mandy had replied already. She wasn't showing as on-line for chat, nonetheless the notification of reply blinked.

### Red Deer. I love living here. It's a fun city, a little city, comparatively. Colton's dad's office was out of here, so he lived here. He convinced me if we three moved here and lived together, we could be a family. So we did. And I had a good job here, a secure job and a good sitter and Colton was in a good school. So we didn't move. If you ever want to check it out, let me know. I'll give you a tour. We can catch up. Y'know. And I'd love to maybe talk. We come to Calgary infrequently, but it happens. My phone number is: 314-5570. Give me a call between five and nine in the evening, or on the weekends, I'm pretty well home most of the time. Or I keep my phone sent to my cell phone. Unless we are at the pool, Okay, I am babbling now. I hope to hear from you soon-MG

Kip smiled at the screen. She was nervous. She babbled in her e-mail, repeating herself a little. It meant she'd given him more information than she meant to. It was one of her nervous habits. He tried to superimpose her new image with the Mandy he remembered, while he imagined her as she sat at a computer desk and typed her message. Pushing send before she rethought her words and deleted the extra information.

Was she still the shy girl he'd first met in high school? She never really left it behind, even through their relationship. She never reached out to his friends or made any of her own in high school. She made up for it when they hit Saskatoon and university. She opened herself completely.

He raised his eyebrows over her choice of words. If you want to check it out? Was that an invitation? A tentative one perhaps. He didn't blame her for that. This was foreign territory for them. There it was in black and white, her phone number. He could pick up the phone and in a few moments be hearing her voice.

He wasn't prepared for that kind of contact now. He still had to assimilate the aspect of 'Mandy had a kid'. Where was his father in all this? Was there a relationship there?

Kip clicked back to the previous message. It said she lived with her son Colton. No mention of any man. She didn't say 'single mom' specifically. But all her words pointed to it.

That put a new spin on the dynamic of getting her back or getting over her. He couldn't jump into this. If nothing else, a third person was involved in the relationship whether he liked it or not.

Kip clicked reply.

### I'm out on the road again. I will get in contact with you when I get home. You aren't alone in being a little nervous about this renewed contact. I'll talk to you soon. -KT

He read her messages again before turning off his computer. He smiled, seeing her initials at the bottom of them. Some things didn't change and for once, he was glad about that.

Chapter 4

Mandy marked papers while she helped Colton with his homework three days before Christmas holidays began. This year they would stay in Red Deer. Mandy's car was far too unreliable to make the trip to Saskatchewan. Her parents would arrive three days after Christmas and planned to stay for three days.

It wouldn't be the two of them on Christmas Day, thankfully. Two sets of friends, who weren't able to visit with their families either, agreed to all get together for the day and split the cooking amongst them. Colton wasn't as thrilled with the arrangement.

It had also been five days since she sent Kip her phone number. She spent the week not watching the televised games, but only when Kip played, and not counting the days until he was due to return to Calgary. Nor did she hope that he would call the moment he walked in his front door.

The phone rang, breaking into the silence between muted conversation when Colton had a question. Colton jumped to answer it. "I'll get it," he announced, looking over his shoulder for her consent.

Mandy nodded and he pushed the talk button. "Hello?" Mandy watched him as he nodded, pressing the receiver against his ear. "Yeah, that's me. Oh okay, she's here. Mo-om, it's for you. It's some guy." He held out the phone for her.

Her heart leapt into her throat and her stomach fell a few feet. She knew who was on the phone. She looked at his schedule so frequently she should have it memorized.

Her legs shook as she stood. She took a few steps toward Colton. Her fingers trembled when she reached for the phone. "Thank you."She pressed the phone to her ear and spoke, "Hold on a moment please." She drew the phone away from her ear before she heard the reply. His voice would make it real and she hadn't prepared herself for that.

Mandy looked at Colton, who looked at her with expectations. Who was on the phone? "Colton, go get your pajamas on please. Then get yourself a snack. We'll finish your homework when I'm done."

Colton trotted off to do her bidding. Mandy pushed her hair back in a nervous gesture. Her heart thundered the blood through her veins and her body shook. She took a deep breath. "Sorry about that. Hi." She sounded breathless.

She heard his smile through the phone. "Hi. Is this a good time?"

"Yeah, no. I mean, it's fine. Just caught me a little off guard."

"I'm sorry. I should have messaged you first, asked when a good time to call was. Let you call me."He paused.

Mandy couldn't think of anything to say to that. All she could do was revel in the warmth of his voice. His voice was deeper, she thought perhaps. At least from what she remembered. She tried to think about his voice on television, but she'd been so focused on his image she hadn't heard his words.

"How are you?" he said, breaking her erroneous train of thought.

Good grief, she was dropping the conversational ball. It was Kip. She talked to Kip for hundreds, millions of hours on the telephone and in person. She coexisted with him in the same house for a year. Why was she feeling as jumpy as the first day he approached her?

"Good. Finishing homework before bed. The whole routine. How are you? I've been kind of watching the standings and whatnot. You're having a good year."

"So far. I haven't played much yet, being the new guy on the team."

Mandy nodded. He couldn't hear that. Was he calling to make small talk? Or had he called to ask if they could meet? Could she blurt that out? Why are you calling me Kip?

"I'm coming up on days off. Christmas time and whatnot. Are you going home for the holidays?"

"No. My car it's unreliable. I made plans with friends here." Did he plan to ask her to come home with him? Or did he want to get together back there? That would be too creepy. "You?"

"Everyone is coming here. Then catching a game."

Okay, this was not leading to getting together. It was small talk. Mandy relaxed a little. Getting together was a stressful thought. She wound need a sitter for the extra evening away from Colton. She didn't like the thought. And what did 'get together' mean?

"That sounds like fun."

"Not really. But they are family."

"That's true. My parents are coming here the twenty-seventh until the thirtieth as well. You play New Year's right?"

"Yeah, then I'm off for a few days."

"Me too," she said.

"Maybe," he sounded nervous, which wasn't like her Kip. One of the things she loved about him was his confidence. "Maybe, we could make plans for New Year's Day. They never make us practice then. I could drive. We could have dinner."

Mandy's nervousness turned into full-blown panic. "If someone could watch Colton. Otherwise, I think that would be," it would be what? Great, marvelous? "Nice," she finished with; anything else would be too eager.

"Oh, right." He forgot her son, or he thought she'd bring him along. She didn't need to clarify. "That's fine. Why don't you take my number and you can let me know later if that works for you?"

Mandy swallowed hard. That meant she' would phone Kip. She always had trouble calling him. His parents weren't particularly fond of her. They looked down on her as the shy, fat loser and wondered why their popular, sports fanatic son would hook up with a girl like her. She was always on edge, hoping they wouldn't answer the phone. Let it be Kip, or his younger sister, Maggie. "Sure, I could do that. I can find someone."

"His dad maybe?"

That took her by surprise. It shouldn't have. Kip would want to know where she stood with the father of her child. "He doesn't live in town. I have some friends to ask. I'll let you know when and where we can meet.."

"That's great."

Mandy rubbed her hand over the place her heart pounded against her ribs. It was Kip, good old Kip. The man she loved once, with all her heart. Because she had been with him for two years, which made all her dreams come true, didn't mean she wanted to get back together. Right?

It wasn't a real date anyway. She hadn't dated in six months, but it was Kip. It didn't count. She didn't need to worry about making small talk. He knew all the details of her life, except the past decade.

"Okay, give me your phone number. And your cell, in case I forget later and something comes up. Things always come up when you don't plan ahead."

"Sure."

"I'll give you mine, as well. You know. Just in case." She repeated herself like an idiot now. Time to end the conversation. "I'd love to talk and catch up, but I have to get Colton to finish his homework. I will let you know by the end of the month."

"Sure. Hey," he said, "can I call you Christmas Day? To wish you a good holiday." His voice was husky and full of raw emotion. She barely knew who the thirty-year-old Kip was, but he seemed as nice as the eighteen-year-old Kip. If that held true, she could fall for him once more.

"Yeah. I'd like that," she said. She couldn't refuse such a sweet request. She was melting into a puddle. Time to hang up.

"Thanks. I'll talk to you soon."

"Thanks for calling. Bye." She hung up the phone. She was a puddle on the floor over a phone conversation. How would she handle dinner with him?

### * * * *

An early January date was the exact opposite time of year that Kip's first date with Mandy had been.

It was a warm Saturday in June, when Kip drove to Mandy's and picked her up after lunchtime. It was a bit of a habit they'd gotten into.

She came out of the house in jeans and a T-shirt. He looked at his shorts. The unusually warm June temperature made shorts a necessity. It was silly for her to cover herself.

He crossed his arms as she stepped onto the porch where he waited. "Where are your shorts?" he demanded.

Mandy blinked up at him for a moment. Then she looked at her chosen outfit, which he had to admit she looked darned pretty in. "No one wants to see me in shorts, Kip." She started to move around him.

"It's far too hot for jeans, Mandy. And you are gorgeous, showing some skin won't hurt my image of you." He stopped her in front of him with his hands on her folded arms. He gazed into her brown eyes, which had hidden depths and had to admit he was a bit enamored.

She bit her bottom lip. "I'm not going back into change now. Let's go. I will wear shorts next time it's warm."

He shook his head, but let go of her arms. He threw his arm over her shoulder. She shied away a little from his touch, it was less each time. "Let's go. I have an idea." She didn't ask what his idea was as they walked to the car. He opened the passenger door for her and closed it after she was in his red mustang, his prize when he made the provincial team the previous year.

He got in the driver's seat and headed for downtown. "Where are we going?" Mandy finally asked.

"I thought you'd never ask. But I will not tell you." He winked at her and she blushed, which made her look even prettier than usual.

He was at the point of pathetic longing for this girl. He planned to wait for her to feel at ease around him, but it seemed she would never relax in the way he hoped for. Time to make a move.

He found an empty parking space and pulled her out of the car. "Come on. We're going shopping."

"We are what?" Too stunned by shyness, she let him pull her body close to his as they walked down the street.

"Shopping. Don't worry I have a great sense of fashion." He squeezed her against him. With a hold on his self-control, he kept from kissing her cheek.

He pulled her into the one shop that sold clothes for their age-group that were remotely trendy. It had nothing on a city, but it would do in a pinch.

He walked into the shop, his arm around her. Her body went rigid and she pressed closer to him. He smiled at two girls from his crowd standing in the shop, who stared at them. He lifted his hand in greeting and held tightly to Mandy.

It wasn't easy to find things in her size in this shop. His anger rose as he flipped through the racks trying to find the size Mandy had given him with great reluctance. He managed to find two pairs of shorts and three shirts that he liked in the correct size. He pushed her toward the dressing rooms.

She crossed her arms and attempted to stare him down. "Mandy, if I have to, I'll drag you in there and put the clothes on you myself. Go try them on. If you like it, you can show me. Okay?"

She huffed but grabbed the clothes from his waiting hands. "Fine." She slammed the door shut behind her. Kip smiled.

"You're adorable when you're mad. It's a nice change from your usual shyness," he said, raising his voice to be heard in the dressing room.

She didn't reply. He heard the sound of rustling clothes. He saw her clothing on the floor under the door. The door squeaked open. She opened it enough to stick her face out. "I'm changed. You sure you want to see?"

Kip nodded. The anger dissipated. Perfect. "Open it enough for me to see."

She eased the door back. Kip moved so he could see. The shorts were long and slightly baggy around her legs. The shirt conforming and sleeveless. He could see a definition in her waist that hadn't been there before.

He stepped forward and pushed open the door. Taking her hands in his, he pulled her out to stand in front of the mirror. Behind her, Kip rested his chin on her shoulder and kept her from covering her body. "Mandy look at yourself. Do you see how beautiful you are?"

She looked at her feet. At his urging she lifted her face to look at her image in the mirror. She chewed her bottom lip. "No," she finally whispered.

He put his hands on her hips. He ran his fingertips up her sides, feeling her body under the clothing. He met her eyes in the mirror for a moment before she dropped her gaze again. "You have curves. Sexy, beautiful curves. It makes you stand out. You think you should hide them, when you should really show them off."

She glanced up. She wore a shy smile on her face. He let go of her and she started to move back to the dressing room. He grabbed her again. "Hold on," he murmured, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She stopped mid-step and turned her head. He moved in front of her and framed her face with his hands. He tipped her head to the side a little then he went for it. He pressed his mouth over her lips.

She went rigid then limp against him. He let himself dive into her lush body. He opened his lips and she responded in kind. His tongue delved into the heated depths of her, tasting her for the first time. He moved his hands from her face down to her ample hips and held her against him.

He realized he held his breath, waiting for her to push him away. But she didn't, she kissed him back, her hands gripped his shoulders.

He eased her away, half-gasping for breath. He stared into her eyes; she blinked back at him, as stunned as he was. He hadn't meant for their first kiss to be quite so public. He let go of her reluctantly, swallowing hard. "Why don't you get changed into your things?" he suggested.

She nodded and scurried back into the dressing room. She came out in her own clothing again, not holding the clothes she tried on. He went around her into the dressing room and grabbed all the clothes.

Without speaking to her, he went to the cashier. His friend Matt's girlfriend, Shanna, was behind the cash register. She glanced from Kip to Mandy then back again. He rolled his eyes. "How are you, Shanna?" he asked. She snapped her mouth closed. Stupid girl.

"Uh, good. You?"

"Really well, thank you."

Mandy stood behind him and he reached back, his arm around her waist. "I can't afford to buy all that," Mandy hissed.

He put his chin on her shoulder and replied in a whisper. "Consider it my first present to you."

She swallowed, but didn't argue. Probably because Shanna stood there. After he paid for the items, and Shanna handed them the bag, he propelled Mandy out of the store.

"I'm sorry," they said at the same time.

He wrinkled his nose. "Why are you sorry?"

"For embarrassing you in front of your friend."

"I'm hardly embarrassed. I didn't mean for our first kiss to be quite so public, though. That's why I'm sorry."

She blushed deeply and buried her head in her hands. Then she spread her fingers. "First?"

Kip pulled her hands away from her face. "I meant to take you to dinner first then kiss you good night on your front porch." He kissed her nose. He couldn't help it. Now that he touched her, he refused to stop.

"You were going to ask me out?"

"Should I take you home so you can get ready for our first date? Or does this count as our first date and tonight is our second?" He cocked his head as he wondered out loud.

Mandy laughed and relaxed. She put her head on his shoulder. He hugged her tightly.

He chuckled, feeling it rumble in his unusually tight chest. "I guess I should ask you first. Mandy do you want to go to dinner with me this evening?" He forced his voice into a super serious tone.

She laughed again. When she lifted her head, her eyes were shining behind her glasses. Kip pushed them onto her nose. "Yes." She looked as if she had something more to say, but at the last moment she held back.

"What?" he whispered, nudging his nose against hers. She shook her head. "Mandy, you can tell me anything." He saw the fear in her eyes. "Tell me."

Her voice was barely audible, but he could only make out the words, "If you kiss me again."

"With pleasure." He pressed his mouth to hers. She instantly opened, her tongue swept forward to tangle with his.

He let her take the lead with this one. And it was only moments later that she pulled away from him. He held her loosely, slightly afraid in the post-kiss haze that she would run. When she made no move to leave, he removed his hands

He unlocked his car and put her in the passenger seat, then placed the bag of clothes on her lap. "These are yours."

He shut the door and went around the car, whistling and jingling his keys. Despite the bad choice to kiss her in front of the Saturday staff of the store, all of whom were at least acquaintances of his, things were going his way.

Chapter 5

Mandy blinked herself awake on Christmas morning. Colton shouted from the living room. She squinted at the clock through the darkness. It was after seven, at least. She wrapped her robe around her body and went out to the living room.

Colton had the contents of his stocking dumped on the floor, and he held his Santa present high above his head while he cheered.

"Wow, what a racket," Mandy said. Colton stopped bouncing and hugged her hard. "Good morning." She kissed the top of his head.

"Is it time, is it time?"

"Let me find the camera and turn on the light."

Mandy sat on the sofa and snapped pictures of her son as he tore open his presents. Hours of wrapping came off in about twenty minutes, and Colton was left sitting amid a pile of torn paper and boxes. He received a set of clothes from both sets of grandparents. Santa brought a new video game for his hand-held gaming system that was glued to his hand. Eric sent money.

Kip also sent them each something. She didn't know how he'd found the time. Colton received a puck, which the note stated was from his first game in Calgary. A transformer topped it all off.

"Mom, you haven't opened anything," Colton said, sounding exasperated. Mandy bit back her laughter.

"No, I was too busy watching you. Will you bring mine?"

"Yes, but you have to give me the camera so I can take pictures of you too."

"Thank-you." Mandy waited until her presents were stacked around her before handing over the camera.

She slowly tore at the paper, until Colton glared at her. "Come on, rip it." Mandy rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue.

But she complied, ripping open her presents. Clothes and clothes from her parents. Colton's sitter, June, took him to buy her a present, the latest CD from her favorite band.

She held the small gift from Kip in her hand, for a moment. Then before Colton commented, she opened it. Inside a beautiful box was a pen shaped like a hockey stick. She lifted the pen out of the box to show Colton, when she noticed something else. Under the plush lining sat a set of pictures from a photo booth featuring them in all their eighteen-year-old glory. When she lifted it out of the box, she found another set under the first pictures.

Mandy threw her head back and laughed as she looked at Kip in the same poses by his lonesome. Colton piled on the sofa beside her. "What? What? What?"

Mandy shook her head. "A present from an old friend."

Colton took the pictures from her hand. "Is that you?" he asked.

"Yes, when I was eighteen."

"Who's the guy?"

"He was my boyfriend."

"Before my dad?"

Mandy sighed. "Yeah, before your dad."

"Can I call him now?"

The clock crept toward eight. "Not yet. It's still early."

Colton dropped his head. "It sucks, he hardly ever calls."

Mandy's heart fell. She put her arm around Colton and hugged him to her side. He resisted the contact. "I know sweetie."

What could she say? Your dad doesn't want to see you? She didn't trust Eric to take care of Colton anyway. She'd never admit it to Colton, but his dad had a history of being unreliable. She was glad there had been little contact between father and son in the past four years.

She tried her best to keep other males in Colton's life. He played on sports teams and he spent time doing "guy things" with her male friends. But it obviously wasn't the same as your dad.

"Tommy, he's in my class, he doesn't live with his dad, but he gets to spend some weekends there and stuff."

"Your dad lives far away. It would be hard for me to get you up there for the weekend. Why don't you check out your new video game Santa got you? In about an hour we can call your dad. Then we'll get ready to go to Monica and Stewart's."

Colton shrugged, but allowed himself to be distracted by the new video game.

At nine Colton called his dad. He said nothing about his wish for a visit. That disappointed Mandy. She hoped if Colton told his father, Eric might make more of an effort to visit.

Instead they exchanged good wishes and thanks yous for their presents. Colton choose a CD for Eric. Colton explained why they weren't going to Saskatchewan. Then Eric said he had to go, he had family visiting. "I miss you," Colton said. "Love you too." Well, small miracles, Eric usually didn't say things like that. He certainly never confessed any love for Mandy during their three years together. But Mandy never loved him either.

Colton hung up the phone and Mandy was relieved. Eric usually wanted to talk to her, not for any reason other than to annoy her.

"Breakfast time. What do you want?"

"Pancakes."

Mandy faked a groan. Having pancakes was their breakfast for special days. "You have to help."

"Okay," Colton said.

The pan was hot and the first pancake poured when the phone rang. Colton ran to answer it. "Merry Christmas," he said, smiling at Mandy. His smile faded. "Oh, hi. Thanks for the puck and stuff." He nodded and smiled again. "Yeah, my friend likes hockey. He'll think it's cool. I can't wait to show him. You wanna talk to my mom? Sure, she's making pancakes." He delivered the phone to Mandy, not wanting to compromise breakfast.

Mandy pressed the cordless receiver between her shoulder and ear, while she flipped the pancake. She tried to tone down her excitement. "Merry Christmas."

Kip's voice was warm in her ear. "Merry Christmas. Did you like my gift?"

Mandy smiled, warmth flooding her chest. "Yes. Thank you for everything. You didn't have to."

"No, but I really enjoyed it. How is your morning going? It's a little crazy here." Mandy tuned in to yelling and music in the background. Her focus had been on Kip.

"It was an earlier morning than I would have chosen, but it was nice. Quiet with just the two of us."

"You're all alone? I could have invited you here."

"No, just alone for the morning. Well, we will go to friends in a bit. After pancakes."

"Yay pancakes," Colton yelled from his spot at the dining room table where he was playing his new video game.

"Good. Good." His voice was a warm caress in her ear and she closed her eyes. January first couldn't come soon enough. On the other hand, it needed to be further away, she wasn't ready to meet him face to face, to breathe his scent. God, would he still smell the same as he always had?

Mandy forced herself to take a deep breath. Slowly, slowly. Supper plans weren't for a week. "Are you enjoying having your house full?"

Kip sighed and she imagined him glancing over his shoulder at the noisemakers. She hadn't time to ask how many were visiting. She hadn't kept in contact with his sisters over the years. When he spoke it was quieter. "Sorry, I went upstairs to get some quiet. My head is starting to ache. Yeah, it's nice. But I think Maggie will leave before the twenty-eighth. I don't think they can manage three kids in public."

Mandy giggled. "Perhaps not. Three huh?"

"Yes, but I didn't call you to talk about my sister's children."

And with that the mood changed from playful, to flirting. Mandy felt helpless to end it before it had begun. "What did you call me to talk about then?"

"To make sure you were excited about seeing me in a few days."

Mandy hesitated. She considered her words carefully. "I am looking forward to it." Possibly more than she should. Only for the conclusion of their relationship, of course. At least she could keep telling herself that.

A rush of air hissed into her ear as if he'd been holding his breath. "Good, me too."

God, I wish I was spending Christmas with you. Mandy blinked. Neither of them had actually said anything, but she could have sworn she heard the wish from him.

Time to hang up, quickly. "Well, thank you again for the presents." Mandy lowered her head. She didn't want to say good-bye, but she couldn't think of anything else to say.

"You're welcome. Enjoy your Christmas with your son and friends. And your parents."

Mandy smiled. He seemed as confused as she felt, reiterating the same points. "Thanks. Say hi to everyone for me, if you want to. I'll see you next week."

"Okay. Take care."

Mandy dragged the phone away from her ear and pressed the end button. Colton stared at her and she clapped her hands together, while she tried to erase the sentimental feelings that welled inside her. "Let's get ready for Christmas dinner, shall we?" She forced a smile on her face and excitement for the special day. But her real special day, her real Christmas present wasn't coming for another week; Kip Turner back in her life.

Chapter 6

Third time was the charm, Mandy thought as she rushed out to her car. Dinner with Kip was rescheduled twice already. Once because of weather and once because of a surprise practice.

She shoved her key into the ignition, but when she turned it nothing happened. "Fuck." She put her forehead to the steering wheel and tried again.

She get it towed in the morning, for now she'd take the bus home. She couldn't cancel on Kip again. June, Colton's regular sitter, agreed to keep him extra long tonight. Even if there was that, Kip was already on his way. She couldn't inconvenience him.

If she hurried for the bus, she could get home in time to change and still make it in time to meet him.

It wasn't a date. Not a date with someone she was once in love with. Not a date with someone she still may harbor feelings for.

She called him as she climbed on the bus to get home. He answered on the second ring, "Problems?" Holy cow. He knew it was her. He programmed her number into his cell phone, of course. She forced herself to take a deep breath. Slow down, it was Kip. It was only dinner.

"Of course, I told you. My car is busted down. I got it towed, but it'll be a few days and I'm stuck taking the bus. Which I've done before, but I hadn't planned to."

"No problem. Go home, get changed. Do you want to meet later than planned? Or do you want me to pick you up?"

And that was how he got her home address. She hadn't planned that. Now as she ran through the house to get changed, she called Sophia. "Uh hey, sorry to surprise you, I'm going out with Kip Turner. What should I wear?"

"Jeans and a blouse. Casual dressy. And stop thinking of it as a date."

"Right, not a date. I've been saying that all day." It hadn't stuck in her mind, however. She couldn't help that. "Jeans and a blouse." She pulled things out of her drawers, discarding them in her mind as she went.

"Where are you meeting him?"

"He's picking me up," Mandy squeaked out like a coward.

"What?" the word exploded in her ear. "How did that happen?"

"My car is broke down. And I called to say I'd be late and, he said, 'I could come pick you up'. Plus the bus sucks."

"What's the status on my tickets?"

"Sophia, focus. Please." Oh god, oh god. She pulled a deep-blue blouse off a hanger and put it on. It was her favorite blouse. She looked great in it. She needed to feel great tonight.

"Well, honey, you gave him your home address. You consider this meeting a date. There's nothing much I can do for you. Just meet him, find out what he's like now. And I'll be over here, praying that he's an asshole and you'll be done with him. Because eleven years to be in a relationship that doesn't exist is a long time."

"I know. I've been living it." Every day. Mandy pulled on her favorite pants, the ones that gave her body a shape other than round. It was Kip that taught her how to actually dress to show her best assets. She had a beautiful body. She needed to show him she hadn't lost that.

"Listen to me. This is the last time I say this to you. I've said it a hundred times. A thousand, a million. Too many. Got it?"

"Yes. Okay, tell me again."

They repeated the words together. "Stop telling yourself you sent him away. He left as much as you told him to go. You cannot regret this decision anymore. I won't let you beat yourself up. Stop it, stop it, stop it."

Mandy sighed into the phone. And Sophia said, "Now go hit yourself with a pillow, because that's what I do if I were there. Kiss Colton for me, too."

"Kiss your babies for me, too. And tell Tanner I love him."

"He loves you, too. I love you, too. This is why I kick your ass."

"I know. I love you." The doorbell rang. "Fuck he's here and I'm not dressed."

"Good luck," Sophia said and hung up.

Mandy ran for the door. "I'm sorry I just got in," she said before stopping to stare. Kip Turner was on her doorstep. All the years melted away. She wanted to fall into his arms and kiss him, as if he never left. As if she never told him to leave.

Not blaming herself for it.

"Hi," he said. He had the same look in his eyes as they moved over her. As if he wanted to hold her again. As if he hoped she missed him.

God she missed him. He wasn't only her lover. They were best friends. She bit on her tongue to keep herself from confessing that as well as several other stupid romantic thoughts running through her head.

"Hi," she said, letting a slow, stupid smile cross her face.

"So you just got in. Sorry." Why was he apologizing?

"Let me go change. Come in and have a seat. I'll be quick, promise."

"Not a problem," he said, moving into her entryway and removing his shoes.

"Just go, find a place to sit. I will run and do this."

She turned tail and ran to her bedroom. Her heart raced as she buttoned her shirt. It had nothing with the double time movement she was making. It was all his presence.

She swore he was taller than she remembered. More handsome too. His face creased at the corners, his eyes, and his mouth. All smile lines. It made him sexy as hell. His body well-toned as well, probably. He was a professional hockey player; he was paid to keep his body in shape.

That little memory of his chest, his abs, strong thighs, crept into her mind. Time to get this supper done with, before she decided twice about her no sex on the first date policy. No, he couldn't stay over, June dropped Colton off at 8:30.

She would mention that. Makeup first. She applied some lipstick and eyeliner. She ran a brush through her hair, feeling self-conscious about her body again. Make the best of it, she decided, exiting the bedroom.

Kip was in the living room. He wasn't sitting passively. He looked at her pictures and knickknacks. Colton was everywhere, except the frame holding a picture of Sophia's family. "This is the same Sophia from college?" He pointed at the frame.

"Yeah, that's Soph. She's got a few kids now. They still live in Saskatoon."

He nodded. Then he moved to a picture of Colton. "He looks very grown up."

"He is. Which reminds me, we should get out of here. I have to be home by 8:30."

"Right. I will be gone by then, promise."

Mandy didn't reply. She only nodded. "Thanks for picking me up."

"No problem. I swear. You are right. This is a nice city. Calgary is crazy. I love it sometimes, at others. Maybe I should buy a summer home here."

Mandy smiled at him. Somehow she would get through this evening without touching him. If she touched him, she would burst into flames, or burst out with an inappropriate comment. He would tell her he didn't want to be anything more than friends, but thanks for having him for supper.

Having him for supper, that sparked her imagination in a new direction. Mandy cursed herself mentally, glad they headed for the truck, in the dark. Thank god for early winter darkness, usually the worst part of the season.

"Tell me about your exciting career? Where have you been? Who have you met and played with?" She knew every team he'd played on, how long he'd been there, and even his overall win percentage, goals against, and all statistics. She'd always followed his career, trying to do so with detachment. More recently she'd spent her free time and some of her marking time, reading his stats and news stories, and looking at the pictures he'd posted on Facebook.

She stopped in front of his truck. It was huge. And red and shiny. Either he didn't drive it much, or he'd washed it before picking her up. Damn, what money could buy you. She shook her head and turned to him.

Nothing beat this view of him, standing in front of her, opening the door of his truck. His coat covered whatever shirt he was wearing, but she imagined a shirt stretched over his broad shoulders to his slim waist. And his muscled thighs she appreciated through the nature of his almost tight jeans.

If she thought about it, she could recall the details of his body under his clothes right to the feel of his cock soft, half hard or rock hard in her hand. How he shuddered when she wrapped her mouth around him.

She held back a groan and ended up coughing. He turned to her; holding the door open. "You okay?"

"Fine," she squeezed out. Shit, now her panties were damp. She pressed her thighs together, hoping the smell would stay buried between her thighs. She needed to get a dildo on her next paycheck. The vibrator wasn't doing enough anymore.

He held the truck door open for her. As she squeezed past him, she could smell his cologne. The exact one he wore, don't think it, don't even, eleven years ago.

With that firmly in her nostrils, she knew she was lost. She wanted him back.

### * * * *

Kip waited until they were seated at the restaurant. They made small talk on the drive. Nothing real. Nothing important. He couldn't wait to ask her the questions that had been on his mind since he clicked "add as friend" on that stupid website. He couldn't go back now, so he wouldn't give the what ifs anymore thought tonight.

He was jumping out of his skin as they were seated and given menus in the little restaurant near her home.

She looked gorgeous. Even if her eyes were strained. She had a demanding job and a demanding life. She did it all with grace and without complaint, but she needed a break. Since her emergency phone call, he already made some plans.

Still, despite the weariness, he saw she was beautiful. The same soft, sweet Mandy that he remembered. She had an aura of strength now. It was new. She'd always seemed so fragile to him. Her hair was cropped short, it suited her, but he missed her long hair. The way it curled around her face, framing her. If he softened his gaze, he could still see her that way.

Her jeans hugged her ass, when she sashayed in front of him. He could have wiped the drool off his chin. Down boy, he told his cock as they sat. She had been close to him when he opened the door, she smelled faintly of peaches and cream.

He needed a plan, so he did not dive for a kiss at the end of the night. They ordered quickly and their menus were taken away. Leaving them alone to chat. One other couple sat in the dining room; Wednesday was a slow night for dining out.

She squirmed as she did her best not to stare at him. Squirming under the microscope? Well, no time like the present. "Do you regret me going east? To play hockey?"

Her mouth dropped open slightly. She quickly caught herself and looked away from him. "Sometimes. But I think if you stayed you would have regretted not going."

Obviously she had given that some thought herself. He nodded. "I thought the same thing. What I regret is not begging you to come with me. You could have gone to school anywhere."

She nodded and remained quiet while she stared over his shoulder. He let her be silent, content to watch her. Loving her wasn't optional. She wasn't the same girl he had known. She became so much more than he could have imagined. She was well-spoken. She was confident. She was decisive.

He recalled seeing her in the hallways, sitting in the library alone. She always tried to give the appearance of being shorter than her five feet nine inches, so she could go unnoticed. He might never noticed her, unless that English teacher had displayed her impassioned words for him. He couldn't help watching her in their shared math class after that. He needed to know her, to see how different she was from other people in his life. When he missed math class, he had an excuse to approach her. To become friends with her.

The story of him having to pass math class wasn't entirely made up, he needed to do well to play sports. But he wasn't having any problems.

His heart swelled as he looked at her. "I wasn't ready to leave," she said, softly, breaking the silence.

He nodded. "I knew that too. But I wish. Ah hell, never mind. I had to ask. It was between us. Let's let the past go and focus on being friends now."

She smiled and leaned back in her chair. He felt his shoulders relax. Okay, if he ignored the sexual attraction and the love swelling in his chest, he might make it back to home in one piece. He could do that for one night. If she didn't show any signs she wanted the same thing.

He put his hands on the table in front of him. "Tell me about Colton."

She looked at him strangely.

He met her eyes. "Hey, there is nothing a mom likes to talk about more than their kids. We can't ignore that you have one. I have two sisters who have three kids each."

"They do? Maggie and Jamie?"

"Yeah, Mikey only has two."

"How did you get out of there without being Kippie?"

"Luck. Now, come on, spill it. Tell me about your kid."

She shrugged and grinned at him. She grabbed her purse from the floor.

"Going for the pictures first. Or the mace."

That made her smile even wider. Score one for him. "Yeah the pictures. Ubiquitous Mom photo op."

She passed him a soccer picture. He had her intense brown eyes, but none of her features. He wondered if he looked like his dad. His hair was dirty blonde, thick and a little curly. He had her smile, he decided, glancing from the photo to her face.

"That was last summer's photo. He's grown since. He'll be taller than me." She smiled at the picture she was holding. "This one is from this year's school. He's so smart. So outgoing. He never complains. Well, yeah, he does. If you consider what he's got, he's amazing."

"He's got you. Of course he is amazing." Kip wanted to ask about his Dad. It was none of his business. Not yet.

She looked at the picture in a wistful, loving manner. She continued as if she hadn't heard him speak. "You know his dad is gone. Mostly. And he never says anything about it. I know he's got to wonder. But we've got so many wonderful friends around us that give him what his dad should."

She looked up, suddenly remembering his presence. "Sorry, you didn't need to know that."

He leaned across the table and touched her for the first time. Eleven years. The number dogged him. It was their legacy. "Amanda, Mandy, there is nothing you can't tell me. It's been, well, a long time. But I'm still your friend. I will never judge you for what has happened." He'd never judged her, despite all their shared secrets.

She avoided his gaze as she worked through that statement. He leaned closer. "I want to be part of your support system." With that, he withdrew. "Excuse me." He had to give her a minute to get her footing back under her. She might seem calm, but he was certain his sudden appearance threw her for a loop. It was fucking with his head.

In the bathroom he took a leak then washed his hands. He stood looking in the mirror for a long time. He looked older than he remembered. He never had time to really look at himself lately. He didn't look bad, he had aged little. He attributed that to keeping himself in good shape, eating well and drinking lots of water. In short, playing hockey had been a fountain of youth. Not that he was old, but he was old in the hockey world. He wouldn't play forever. Luckily, he saved for his eventual retirement, because he had no other useful skills in the world that anyone would pay him for.

Okay, time to head back to the table. Finish the meal without confessing anything. Enjoy her company, take her home. Move on to the second part of his plan.

### * * * *

After Kip's question, her confessional about Eric, and his quiet words about being part of her support system, the rest of the evening was relaxed and fun. They chatted about their lives. He regaled her with stories from various players he'd known, and places he'd seen. She told him about teaching and raising Colton.

He insisted on getting Colton a dessert before they went. Then he dropped her off at home at 8:15. She unlocked her door, then turned back to him.

He surprised her by grabbing her elbows and pulling her close to him. He brushed his lips against hers. A soft, barely-there brush. She took a deep breath and was hit by his minted breath and cologne. She moved closer to his warmth, thinking she might start on fire.

"Thank you for dinner, Mandy. It has been so great to see you again. I will see you tomorrow."

Before she reacted, he let her go, turned, and walked down her front porch. What the hell? "Uh, goodnight, Kip. Thank you." She held her purse and Colton's dessert. Tomorrow? Well, that was...confusing.

She didn't have time to think about it. June drove up with Colton a minute after Kip's lights disappeared around the corner.

"Hi Mom." Colton jumped out of June's car.

"Hi baby. Go inside where it's warm. I have to say thanks to June. There's a piece of cake on the table. You can eat it for snack."

"Thanks," He ran into the house. Mandy went down the steps to where June got out of the car.

"He's fast," June said.

"Yep. Faster every day. I rue the day he'll be faster than me. Though that may have already come."

"You are such a teacher. I got the kids to get their homework done."

"Thanks June. I'm sorry to ask so much of you."

"No problem. I don't mind. How was your night out? You look a little shocked."

"Just an old friend. It was nice and strange and confusing." She was not ready to talk about it. She still had 'tomorrow' to contend with. "I better get in and chase him to bed. Thank you again for everything."

"You're welcome. I'll see you later."

Mandy hugged June, who looked surprised. She waved over her shoulder as she left.

Mandy went into the house, still feeling disconcerted. She got Colton to bed and fell into a sleep filled with Kip.

Chapter 7

Mandy woke early in the morning. She sat alone at the kitchen table with her hands wrapped around a mug of hot tea. In front of her was the work she abandoned the night before. A knock at the door made her jump, and she knocked over her tea. "Fuck," She grabbed a towel to mop up the spill before it reached her papers.

The second knock was impatient. "What the hell?" She headed for the source. She peered out the window onto the front porch of her town house. She blinked twice and looked closer. Then she opened the door. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Good morning to you, too," Kip said, with a boyish grin. "Told you I'd see you again. Hope I'm not too early." He leaned in and kissed her cheek.

She shook her head dumbly. "Come in." She held in a sigh, stepped back and held the door open. She wasn't ready, she didn't have her defenses up yet. He couldn't be here. She must be in bed still dreaming.

He stepped in and took off his shoes. He held out a box of doughnuts, as if it were a peace offering. Tim Horton's, she shook her head. He held a four-pack tray of coffee cups, all steaming. "I wasn't sure what you drank these days, so I got something of everything with hope."

She smiled, her heart melting, despite everything. "You are very sweet."

"I hoped you'd think so." They went into the kitchen and the packages were put on the table.

Colton came out, rubbing his eyes. "Who are you talking to?"

"Sh- Darn. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," Kip caught his foul word before it left his mouth.

Mandy caught the panic before it showed on her face. She didn't even glance at Kip. She stepped between him and Colton. "Morning sweetie." She reached out for her son. "Cole, this is my friend, Mr. Turner. This is my son, Colton." She stepped to the side, so they saw each other. Colton was still half asleep and not totally aware of what was going on.

Kip looked frozen in place, worry on his face.

Colton merely raised his hand and stopped to lean on her. "Is it time to get up?" he asked.

"Not yet. About half an hour. You want to lie on the sofa, go to bed or stay up?"

"Go back to bed." He left in that direction.

When he disappeared, Mandy turned to face Kip. A smile crossed her face, and she tried to hold it back. She really tried, but she burst out laughing. Kip waited until she was done.

"I'm sorry," she said, holding up her hand. She moved for the doughnuts and the hot drinks he brought. "You looked so scared."

"It was a bit of a shock."

"It's done. He may recall that in a half hour. If you are still here." She picked out a honey glazed doughnut and the hazelnut cappuccino. Pulling off the lid, she inhaled the sweet smell.

"I'll still be here," he said softly. She found a determined look in his eyes. "If nothing else, I need a ride back to my hotel."

"Where is your truck?"

He held a set of keys toward her. "I rented you car for a week, until you figure out what is going on with your wheels."

She stared at him. "What?"

"Your car is broken. You can let me know if you need it longer, I can arrange for it."

Her heart did a tap-dance gymnastic combination in her chest. She emptied the contents of her hands onto the table and launched herself at him. He caught her, as she wrapped him in a hug. "You have no idea what this means. Thank you. Really." She pulled back to look at him. And the shock set in. She was hugging him. She touched him as they stood in her kitchen, dressed in her robe and little else.

His scent wrapped around her, as his arms did. He looked at her with compassion on his face, with genuine warmth in his eyes. She wanted to burrow into him. She let her head rest on his chest, resting in his gentle strength. "You're welcome." The words rumbled through his chest.

She hadn't expected to lean on someone so easily. She was used to relying on herself. She rarely asked her friends for assistance, never wanting to be a burden. She hadn't asked him for anything and now he'd given her this gift. To him it was probably a small gift, but to her it was the world for this week. She wouldn't keep it longer than a week, even if she couldn't get her car fixed.

She sighed a little too deeply, and he pulled her closer. She realized how nice his body felt against hers. They fit together perfectly. At least it felt that way. She had to move before she got too comfortable, before she wished for things she couldn't have.

"My coffee is getting cold," she said, to disengage herself. He let her go slowly, and as she moved back, not meeting his gaze, she noticed she was chilled without his body heat. She grabbed the cappuccino as a lifeline. "Kip, this is amazing."

"I came here prepared to argue with you for this."

She smiled. She should be arguing. Maybe it was the early morning, or his unexpected arrival. She didn't know. "I know. I would. I don't know. Do you have to go back today? To Calgary?"

He shook his head. "I don't have practice until tomorrow. At ten."

"Will you stick around and come back for supper? As a thank you." Only a thank you. Not because she didn't want him to go. Liar, liar, the little voice in her head sang.

He nodded. "I'd love to."

Her smile widened. "I wish I could take the day off, so you didn't have to hang out alone here." It would be wonderful to hang with him all day.

He moved fast as lightning to stand beside her. He took the cup from her hands and pulled her close again. "I'll come back on a weekend." His face came closer. Mandy's breath caught in her throat, as she tilted her head back to look at him. "We can hang out, when I have some time off."

She let out a little groan, her lips parted. And he kissed her. It wasn't the brush from last night. This was firm pressure, hesitant at the same time, ready to back off if she pushed him away.

She didn't back or push away. She pressed into him, kissing him back, opening for him. His tongue slipped into her mouth, like molten lava, hot liquid. It melted her. His arms wrapped around her to hold her up.

It felt like the first time and last time, all over. It was amazing, seductive, and warm. It held promises and hopes. She tried to get closer, as the kiss turned from sweet and hesitant, to possessive and heated. Time apart hadn't dulled any of their attraction, that was certain. She rubbed her hips against him, when she heard a worried "Mom?" from the other side of the room.

### * * * *

Kip expected to be shown the door after the heated kiss in the kitchen earlier that morning. He lay in his hotel bed, his hands stacked under his head as he stared at the ceiling. It wasn't so much the kiss that was the problem, but being walked in on by Mandy's son. Getting caught like that had been nerve wracking.

Or maybe it was the kiss that he expected her to take offense too. He'd taken it too far. He hadn't planned to go that far. Only a sweet, short kiss, but she kissed him back. She pressed her body against his.

Hours later his body still throbbed from the memory. No one affected him like Mandy. He glanced at his watch. Not too long before he had to get up and get ready for supper. With Mandy and her son.

One short dinner hour to separate their lives turned into renting a car, meeting her son. Almost a relationship?

That was getting a little ahead of himself. At any rate, Mandy hadn't kicked him out. He felt awkward for a moment, when Mandy switched into Mom mode and got her son ready for school. Half an hour later they were in the rental, driving to his hotel. She dropped him off at the front doors. "I usually get home after five. So if you show up about six, supper will be ready then."

He knew the shock registered on his face as he turned to face her, his hand on the door knob. He planned his 'it was nice to see you' speech. "Okay. I will be there, promise. With dessert."

She smiled and nodded. He watched intently as she licked her lips. "Have a good day."

"You, too. And you Colton, it was nice meeting you." He closed the door, wishing he could kiss those lips before he exited the car. They tasted better than any doughnuts he picked out in the pre-dawn hours.

He rolled onto his side. Maybe he needed a cold shower.

She hadn't told him dinner together was off. And it wasn't dinner only together. It was dinner with Mandy and her son. He considered going out and trying to find a replica of his jersey at a local sports store. But he had no idea if the kid even liked hockey. He thought about going to buy a toy or something, but once he got to the store, he realized he had no idea what eight-year-old boys were into.

For the Christmas present he used the same strategy he used for his nieces. He went to biggest toy store in the city and asked clerks until someone handed him a toy. Now standing here on a Thursday morning, there were no other shoppers, there were no clerks wandering the aisles.

He stood in the middle of the aisle filled with model trucks and Lego boxes that looked nothing like the Lego he had as a kid. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed his sister, Maggie's number. She had an eight-year-old and was a stay-at-home mom, sure to be home.

She answered on the fifth ring. "Hall residence, Maggie speaking."

"Mags, hello."

"Kip? Calling me in the middle of the day? What's the occasion?"

"Yeah, well, nice to talk to you, too. I need some help."

"With what? It's Thursday at 10 AM. And you are calling from your cell phone."

"What is a good toy for an eight-year-old boy?" He tapped his toes when she didn't reply immediately. His patience with this shopping experience ran thin. "Come on. Please help me here?"

"I'd love too. But there is a burning question on my mind. It's making it impossible to think."

His sister was hilarious. He bit back his clever retort. Biting back wouldn't get him any further in the buying process. "Okay, look. Don't tell anyone because it means nothing. I'm having dinner with Mandy Green and her son. And I thought a gift would be a nice thing to do." He regretted calling anyone related to him. His mother would call him tonight to ask about Mandy.

"I heard she had a kid. In Alberta, huh?" No one in his family had moved outside Saskatchewan, except him. It was unheard of. "Lego."

"What?"

"Lego. It's always a good present for a boy. Get him one of those sets they have. He can build and shit. It's great for their imaginations."

He nodded. Wow, his sister hadn't grilled him on Mandy. Not yet. "Lego. Thanks. You won't tell Mom, will you?"

Maggie laughed in his ear. "You're still afraid of her?"

"I'm thirty, unmarried and childless. I'm afraid of all female relatives, especially those over fifty. They seem to think I'm bringing the wrath of God on my head by not being married."

"Well, hurry up then. Get married. You still love Mandy and if she has a kid already, well, you don't even have to have one of your own if you don't want to."

What the hell? What the hell did Maggie know about his feelings for Mandy? "We are friends, that's all. We planned for coffee, but her car broke, so I rented her one. And she wanted to thank me with supper." Yes, that was casual. Car rentals and thank you suppers. Pre-dawn kisses in the kitchen that could have led to sex on the floor.

Friends.

"And now you're buying her kid a toy. Then you'll get her flowers." Well, yeah, he couldn't send them to her work, since he didn't know which school she taught at.

"That means nothing, Mags."

"You haven't been in a serious relationship ever. Well, since Mandy."

He didn't want to talk about this in the middle of Wal-Mart on a Thursday morning, while he was sober. It was more like a drunken Saturday conversation, when he felt lonely and vulnerable. "Mags, I have to get going. I don't want to stay in this store longer than I have to. I was up at 4 AM and I need to get some sleep."

"Sneaking out of her house?"

"No, surprising her with coffee and a car."

"Nice. Good luck with dinner tonight."

"Don't tell Mom."

"I'll think about it." Before he begged, the call ended.

"Son of a bitch." He stomped off to find the Lego aisle. He grabbed a box of it and went to the front to pay. He grabbed an early lunch at the food court before he returned to his hotel room to have a nap.

Now he stood on her front porch, trying to juggle the flowers, a bunch of yellow tulips, her favorite if he remembered correctly, the Lego box, a boxed cake, and a bottle of wine. The door flew open before he knocked and he faced a small boy. "He's here," Colton yelled.

"Colton, say hi and let him in. It's cold out," Mandy directed from the kitchen.

"Hello, Mr. Turner. Come in." The line sounded rehearsed.

"Thanks, Colton. You can call me Kip."

"He said I could call him Kip," Colton said, already leaving the entryway, leaving Kip alone.

"I heard," Mandy said. She popped her head around the corner, wiping her hands on a towel. She smiled when she noticed he stood helplessly, his arms full. "Sorry, let me help you. And hi."

"Evening," he said.

She reached out to take the things from him, stopping in mid movement when she realized what he held. "Thank you."

"And I'd be thankful if you finished grabbing the flowers so I can shut the door," he said, with laughter in his voice.

She took the flowers, the box and the bag containing the wine. She put the bag to the side and stuck her nose in the flowers. "Thank you," she said again.

He stepped closer to her and kissed her cheek. "Thank you for having me," he said in a low voice. "I thought after my impertinence this morning you'd kick me out."

"If you recall, I participated whole heartedly in that." She didn't make any attempt to move away.

"Yes you did. Still." He looked over her shoulder toward the kitchen.

"That was awkward. There were questions. We'll talk about that all later. Let's enjoy dinner." She looked at the box in her hand. "Kip, you didn't have to do this."

"I know. But I wanted to. I thought." He busied himself taking off his shoes while he searched for the right word. "It would be a nice introduction for him and I."

"He'll be impressed," she said, still looking at the box.

"I called Maggie for advice."

"Did you tell her about me?" He nodded. "Is she going to tell your Mom?"

"I begged her not to, nearly literally. She hung up before I got on my knees."

Mandy let out a sigh. "If she tells your Mom, she'll tell mine. The last thing I need is my mom to find out."

"I know. We grew up in the same town right? We have the same mothers."

"Nearly. Except," Mandy shook her head, shoving the box back at him.

He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder and leaned in to whisper. "I didn't mean to bring up those memories."

"It's not your fault. I should be over stupid shit, er, stuff, like that."

He kissed her ear softly then let her go. Not the first time in recent memory he'd stuck his foot in his mouth.

She willing kissed him back. What should he read into that? Would more kissing follow? Or would she tell him it could never happen again? Once upon a time he could read her mind. He wished that he knew her that well again. That Mandy didn't have the confidence that this new Mandy did, and to go back would be a crying shame, he thought as he followed her into the house.

### * * * *

Mandy sat on the sofa while she watched Colton and Kip playing with the Lego set Kip had brought. She smiled as she leaned on her elbow. This felt real, like a family. Occasionally, one of them would look at her and smile. Then they would go back to building.

She was thankful that Kip was interested, or at least feigned interest in the set. It was only a general set, and the boys set about to make a police station and some police cars, as illustrated in the accompanying papers. She was not very good at making her imagined creations turn into something real, and Colton had stopped asking her play Lego some time ago.

While she enjoyed watching them work together, she found herself impatient for Colton's bedtime. She wanted to talk to Kip about everything. He asked her point blank in the restaurant if she had any regrets; she would ask him point blank if this was turning into something. If it were a fling, then she couldn't go on. She couldn't subject her son to it. What if it became something more?

She didn't know. Did she want something with Kip again? He still played hockey for a living. Would he get traded and move again? Would he ask her to go again? Would she turn him down if he asked her? Would he even ask her to go this time?

Slow the fuck down. Yesterday they shared their first kiss in eleven years. That was a long way from moving to a different city. And she had no idea what his career plans were. They had much ground to cover between tonight and well, who knows. Maybe he'd tell her it was only a kiss, it meant nothing, he would return to his life in Calgary, and they would chat on Facebook occasionally.

She blinked, realizing that Kip was staring at her. He raised his eyebrows in question. She shook her head in reply. She glanced at the clock then back at him, hoping he'd get the picture. He smiled and turned to answer Colton's question.

Sooner than she hoped, Colton did go to bed. Her courage to be direct waned by the minute. She kissed Colton's forehead, gaining the usual "Mo-om." She realized she had to be strong for him. She couldn't bring another man into his life only to have him leave again. It was enough that his father was a loser. She wouldn't be too.

She squared her shoulders on return to the living room. Kip had refilled her wineglass, and it sat on the coffee table, near her spot. He sat at the other end of the sofa. "Thank you for playing with him all evening. And for the Lego. He loves it and I am terrible with it."

"I had fun." He smiled genuinely. He really enjoyed intricately putting the pieces together while he hung out with Colton. Good sign of things to come. At least she could hope. "And I know you are terrible. He told me about some of your creations when you did the dishes." They paused to sip their wine. "Thank you for making supper and doing the dishes."

"It wasn't much. I don't do much."

"No it was great. I don't get many home cooked meals. Not home enough to keep food in my fridge."

They lapsed into silence, drinking and looking at her coffee table. The furniture was unremarkable.

"So ..." they spoke at the same time. Nervous laughter. Did they share the same question?

"The kiss?" she offered.

"The kiss." It fell between them, the memory of it, the implications.

Mandy quirked her mouth to the side. "Here it is. What do you want? To be friends. Do you want more? I don't want to fuck around here. Colton really likes you, but it's hard." She sighed.

"I know. He explained about his dad being gone. I didn't ask, I promise. I don't want to screw around with him either. Or you." Kip took his turn to sigh. "Look, Mandy. I didn't come here intending to kiss you. I thought we'd have supper, catch up and see that we made the best decisions for us."

"That was my plan. Well. I wasn't sure if I regretted what we did."

"I know. We aren't the same people we left behind. But it's obvious there are still, we are still compatible. Kissing you was like nothing changed. It feels like that with you."

Mandy's body twitched, anticipating a move closer to him. "It was amazing. Let's leave it at that. Do we want to find out where this goes, Kip? Can we have a relationship? You're on the road a lot. And I have my life here."

"Any relationship has struggles. Let's not set anything in stone tonight. Let's be friends for a few weeks, months. I can wait. We've been waiting this long."

She nodded. "Yeah."

He opened his arms to her. "Come here, cuddle with me. Mandy, I spent eleven lonely years apart from you. More than I missed the physical stuff, I missed my best friend."

Mandy hesitated, but he looked solid and comforting that she moved easily into him. She laid her head on his chest, her body tuned into his breathing. His heart beat steadily into her ear. He felt rock solid, as always. "I missed you, too."

They sat in silence for a long time, enjoying a moment of being together. "I never told you this. I knew you lied about doing badly in math."

He laughed and kissed the top of her head. "If you knew, why didn't you say something back then?"

She looked at him. "Because I was stupidly shy, and you were the most popular boy in school. What was I going to do? Call you a liar? You?" She shook her head against his chest. "I was so scared that day you came to me and asked for my notes."

"Now that part was true. I missed class, and a quiz was coming up and if I failed I wouldn't be able to play ball. But I was right behind you in scores, I checked."

"You did not. I was totally geeky and shy. I hardly had any friends."

"You were beautiful. And brilliant, I heard from other friends who were in your English and social classes. I had to meet you. I was so cocky, I knew I had to have you."

"I used to daydream you'd come and talk to me. I spent a lot of time in boring classes and spares thinking about you. I'd go to hockey or basketball games only to watch you."

"Do you watch my games now?"

"I always check the stats. Sometimes I watch. Sometimes it was too hard."

They fell quiet again for a while. Kip shifted under her. "I have to go soon. I have practice tomorrow. Games, travel. I'm always so busy."

"I know. I'll watch. We'll watch now," she said. "You have Colton interested. His buddy Mark is a big fan. Oilers."

Kip laughed. "He's a good kid. It will be strange being out there, knowing you are watching. If you see me wave, that's for you."

Mandy smiled. "Will you call?"

"Make you a deal. I'll send you my phone number. It's always ten times the cost to call from a hotel. I'll pay your phone bill when I get home."

She looked at him. "Sure. I will call when you are on the road."

"I can't anymore. I have to kiss you." He bent his head, giving her a chance to deny him. She didn't, she arched for him. She savored the moment of utter sweetness when their lips touched. But it turned to undeniable passion.

Mouths opened, accepting. Tongues swirled. Again she turned to liquid heat in his arms. Again she wanted to beg for more. She twisted her body into his lap, pressing to be closer. Her hands ran through his hair, over his shoulders to his chest.

God he was all muscle. She had to touch him. She let her fingers in under the bottom of his shirt to touch his his warm skin, her fingers skimming the muscles.

He kept one hand firmly on her shoulder, while the other massaged her scalp. It was a testament to his will when he kept his word to move slowly. She was relieved because she had no self-control and if he touched her again, she'd be burning so hot he'd stay the night.

He broke off the kiss, moving his lips to her neck and ear. His breath was hot and damp on her skin. When he licked behind her earlobe she shivered and giggled. "Stop," she whispered. "That tickles."

"I know," he said, doing it again. Then he nibbled his way to that spot on her neck that always made her melt.

"It's so strange. To have someone who knows all the spots that make me react."

He laughed against her skin. "I have to stop, though. I can't continue to do this without breaking the slow rule."

She lifted herself from his lap. "I know. I have no self-control."

He held her in his lap. He brushed his lips across hers once more. "Going slow will be very difficult."

"I know. But you have a job and I have to be a mom."

"And a teacher."

"That too." She leaned forward and kissed him softly again. "We will figure out a routine. I'll figure out a way to, you know, be alone too. Colton does sleep away at friends sometimes."

"It's okay," he said.

"You can't be too understanding or I won't believe you are real." They shared a few more kisses before Kip moved her off his lap.

"You have my cell number," he said. "Call and leave a message anytime. And with numbers and stuff, we'll do this." They stood at the doorway.

"Thanks," she said. He bent and kissed her again. "Thank you for the car, too. I appreciate it."

"Let me know what's going on with your car, too. Don't worry about it if you have to keep it longer."

"I won't. Promise. Good night Kip." He kissed her once more, then went out the door. Mandy waited until his truck was out of the driveway, before she closed and locked the door. She brushed her teeth slowly, shut off all the lights. When she lay in her very empty, very cold bed, she let herself cry for a very long time.

Chapter 8

Mandy parked in the driveway as Kip instructed. She checked the address again. It was the one he'd given her. She took a deep breath then looked at Colton in the backseat. "We're here, Cole." He was busy playing his video game. He heard her, because he opened his door and got out, without even pausing the game.

Shaking her head, Mandy exited the car. Her heart beat double time. Instead of focusing on her nerves, she turned her attention to the house. Fuck it was huge. The garage alone looked like it was the size of her house, square footage wise. Mandy sucked in a breath of cool air. Colton was already up the front steps, so she followed him. She was only on the second step when the door opened.

Kip stood on the other side of the door. He looked like an excited schoolboy. Mandy's heart did a backflip in her chest. He hustled them in the house, giving her a one-armed hug. "Hi guys. How are you?"

"Hi Kip. Good, the drive was good." When Colton stood there pushing buttons frantically, Mandy annoyance rose. She raised her son to have better manners "Colton, pause, say hi and take off your boots before you step off this mat."

Colton glared at her, then he smiled at Kip. "Hi Kip. I brought my Lego."

Kip, to his credit, didn't blink. He rubbed Colton's hair. "Sounds good buddy. Make yourselves at home."

Colton looked at Mandy as he took off his boots. "Can I play now?"

Mandy nodded. "Yeah. Go find a place to sit."

"I'll show him where," Kip said. Colton followed Kip, which left Mandy alone in the entryway. All she saw was neutral painted walls, as if they were freshly painted yesterday. A light hardwood floor covered the three steps and went around a corner. To her right was a closet. Mandy took off her boots and opened the closet. Coats. She put her and Colton's shoes inside then worked on hanging her jacket.

Kip returned, holding Colton's coat. "Thanks," Mandy reached for it. The weariness of travel and a workweek hit her as she stood there.

He held it out of her reach. "I'll do it. You are my guest." He pulled her against him. "Colton told me I could kiss you, as long as he can't see." He kissed her cheek.

Mandy snorted. "It's been a long week."

Kip let her go and hung the jacket. "Relax, please. I've only been living in this house for a few months. And I'm hardly ever home. That's why it looks perfect still. I wish someone would make it look lived in."

"I'll try. God, it's so gorgeous." She touched the smooth wall tentatively.

"Did you eat?"

"We grabbed some fast food. I hope you didn't wait for us."

He shook his head. "I snack a lot." They stood there in the entry way, gazing at each other. "Come here. I've missed you." He pulled her into his arms.

Mandy nuzzled his shoulder. "I missed you too. It's not quite the same. The calls." It had been nearly two weeks since that kiss. Meanwhile, they talked on the phone nearly every night.

"Yeah, it kind of sucks."

"We should get up there. He might come looking for us."

Kip laughed and let her go, except her hand. "I got some movies and stuff. And oh, popcorn. And other junk food."

He was so cute. So sweet. How could she not love him? He stopped to pull her up the stairs. "We should bring your bags in first. Scratch that, I should bring in your bags." He let go of her hand. "Give me your keys. I'll show you around after I get your stuff in."

Mandy considered arguing but it wasn't worth it. "Kiss me first," she told him. He gave her a swift brush of his lips over hers. She handed over her keys, and he went out the door, while she climbed the stairs.

The same hardwood covered the house. A large rug covered the center of the living room, Colton hunkered down, still tapping buttons, on a large dark leather sofa. The matching love seat was perpendicular to it. A lazy boy was nearest the television. And holy shit, that was the biggest TV she'd ever seen outside a store.

"Isn't it cool Mom?" Colton asked. "He's got a Wii and an X-box and he said if he didn't have any games you'd let me play we could get some."

Mandy forced herself to smile. Colton would get spoiled. "It's very cool, Colton. Please be careful with things. Kip is a very generous host."

Colton wrinkled his nose. "Mark is very jealous that I 'm going to a game. He's never been to a game. Sometime can he come with us, please?"

"We'll see," Mandy said, the stress coming into her voice. Okay, she stomped on that reaction. She would relax and enjoy the weekend. It was hard, not knowing where things were going. She was eager to be physical with Kip, but wary of it at the same time.

She was over thinking the whole thing. She needed to relax. She heard the door close behind Kip. "Come on. Let's go help Kip bring our bags to our rooms."

"Are you going to sleep in Kip's room?" Colton asked, looking at her.

"No. I haven't talked to him in eleven years Cole. He was my boyfriend before your dad. But I'm not going to ..." She would not talk about her sex life with her child.

"It's - you've never had a boyfriend. I thought maybe it was because of me. I, well, it's okay with me, if y'know you guys kiss and stuff. I don't want see the tongues and stuff like on TV. And the slurping is gross."

A laugh escaped before she could stop herself. "Thank you for that. I will let you know what is going with Kip and me okay. I'm glad you like him. That makes things easier on me, because I like him. A lot."

"Do you love him?"

"I don't know, Colton. Come on."

### * * * *

Kip didn't mean to overhear. He climbed the entry way steps, and they moved toward him. "Do you love him?" Colton asked. Kip strained his ears for the reply. "I don't know."That was better than, "Hell no."

He tried to slow down the loud thudding in his chest and ears. She would overhear that. It was bad enough wondering if she thought about sex this weekend. He had no idea, and he was too afraid to ask her. But he purchased a new box of condoms for his side table.

He thought about it a lot since the first night at her place. He didn't want to rush her, but his body sure did. It left him on edge. He wanted her so badly. Eleven years worth of wanting. Even if she gave him the go ahead, he had to be careful not to be too forceful or too fast. Self-control, he had self-control.

He showed Colton and Mandy their rooms. Both upstairs. He thought about putting Colton downstairs, except he worried it looked too much like he planned to seduce her. So he made Colton's room the one at the top of the stairs. The bathroom was between his room and Mandy's. Kip's was on the same level, on the other side of the hall at the far end.

They dropped the bags in the doorway. "Can we play Wii?" Colton asked.

"In a few minutes. I want to give your mom a tour of the house. You wanna play hockey? I bet you can't beat me."

Colton sized Kip up. "You're a goalie. I'm gonna go back and play my game."

"We'll be down in ten minutes," Mandy said. Colton ran off. "Walking feet inside," Mandy called after him.

Kip pulled her close again. "It was an excuse to get you alone," he murmured against her lips.

Soft kisses turned to heated ones. Demanding. Mandy pulled away first. "You better show me your room so I know where to find you if I have a bad dream."

"Just so you know. I'm not expecting anything, having you here."

"It's been on my mind. Cripe, I don't know."

He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek. "It's okay. We don't have to jam everything into the first month. We have time. I will wait."

Mandy stretched to kiss him again. "I do want you," she whispered to him. "I haven't had sex in a very long time."

"Me neither," he replied. "So I have to stop kissing you now. Or I'll try to convince you." He led her down the hall and opened the door to his room. He'd cleaned earlier in the day, in case she wanted to come in.

His bed was a king sized, sleigh bed. Dark wood. The walk in closet, the bathroom with a jet tub, built for two. He'd sat in there last night, imagined Mandy in there with him, a bottle of wine. Her naked, wet body so close to his.

She oohed over it all appropriately. They went back downstairs, and he showed her his kitchen. He'd stocked the fridge for the weekend visit. He usually ate out, keeping a few snack foods in there. This time he'd bought fruit and vegetables, milk, eggs. "I only got snack and breakfast stuff. I don't cook too much in here. It's all for show."

She caressed his stainless-steel, natural-gas stove. "I'll cook for you. Get me the raw materials and I will do whatever you want."

He caught her hand. "Vacation, guest. Relax," he reminded her. "No cooking. We'll go out. Order in."

"Cooking is relaxing. Dishes aren't so much."

"I do have a dishwasher." He bent to kiss her neck.

"My hero." She tilted her head to give him better access. He nibbled on her skin until she squealed and pushed him away.

Colton wandered in. "It's been more than ten minutes."

Kip stopped mid nibble and lifted his head. "You are right. Did you look through the games?"

"Yeah. Hey, if you live alone, why do you have so many?"

"I have friends." Kip ruffled his hair. "Sometimes the guys on my team come over and play. Or people I know in town."

"My friend Mark, he likes the Oilers, but he said it was so cool I get to go to a game. Even a Calgary game. He likes someone that plays on your team. I can't remember his name right now. Mark wrote it down for me so I could get an autograph."

Kip looked at Mandy who bit back a laugh. "We can do that. You can meet the team at practice if you want."

"Maybe next time Mark could come?" Colton ventured. He was a courageous kid, willing to say whatever was on his mind. Most kids were cautious, not wanting to upset the adults around them or something. Kip admired the kid.

"We'll talk to your mom about it. And Mark's parents. Did you look at my games or what?" The kid gave Kip a hard time, so Kip would return the treatment.

He turned to Mandy while she looked at his dining-room set. She turned slightly and he saw she pressed her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.

"Yeah. There's this racing game for the X-box. Can we play?"

"Your Mom has to approve first." He didn't want to piss off Mandy.

Colton ran around the divider between the kitchen and dining room. "Mo-om, come see. Let's play."

"I'll grab some chips," Kip waved them into the living room. The kid was a whirlwind. It was exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. He wasn't sure if he liked it yet. It was certainly scary as hell.

### * * * *

Later in the evening Kip, Mandy and Colton sprawled out in the living room to watch a movie. Well, Kip watched the movie anyway. Colton had fallen asleep ten minutes before. Mandy's mind was now preoccupied with sex.

Now that Colton was asleep, she moved, so she touched Kip from shoulder to knee. He smiled at her, kissed her forehead softly and wrapped his arm around her. She snuggled into him easily. The familiar warmth, the familiar smell. It was so easy to be with him again.

She pointed her eyes at the television. It was hard not to, but she didn't see the latest movie. What she watched was much older and the screen much smaller.

She and Kip had been together for seven months. She was still shy and quiet, but no longer as self-conscious as she'd been that day in the library. She held her head up in the hallway, she made eye contact with people.

They were given free rein at his house, so they spent a lot of time making out in his bedroom or the basement. Kip never pressured her for anything, he told her on their third date, that he would listen to her. In fact, for seven months he never touched her somewhere she hadn't moved his hand first.

She worried that she went too slow for him. She heard girls talking in the locker room about blow jobs and fingering and sex. But Kip being Kip, knew she worried. "Mandy," he told her as they did homework in his bedroom together, "I know you think that you're going too slow for me. I'm not a virgin. But being with you is good. I mean if you wanted to, we could. Please don't worry about it."

"Will you tell me if, y'know, you need to?"

Later that night, four, maybe five months into the first year of their relationship, she gave her first hand job. She let him play under her panties a little as well, but the sensations his fingers had invoked in her overwhelmed so she asked him to stop.

For weeks they played with each other, until that one Saturday night, they were alone. They lay on the sofa in the basement watching Bed of Roses. As usual, they were doing more kissing and caressing of each other than watching the movie.

He removed her pants when the condom in her pocket fell to the floor. They looked at it for a long moment. Finally, she met his gaze. He waited patiently. She shrugged. "Y'know, being prepared in case."

He kissed her softly. Those green eyes so knowing, and compassionate. He put the foil wrapper aside and continued to undress her, caressing and kissing her skin as it was revealed. "Have you been thinking about it for a long time?"

She couldn't meet his gaze. She pressed her face into his chest. One solid wall of muscle. "The past week or so. God, I'm not sure."

He took her hand and pressed it to his erection. "Tell me if you want to stop." He stripped away his boxers, let her hand play on him for a moment. He opened the foil and covered himself while she watched in fascination. He rolled her under him on the sofa. "This isn't the most romantic place in the world," he murmured against her lips.

"Being with you is all that matters," she replied. Her body remained tight despite his preparations. As he entered her, she cried out at the intrusion.

"Stop?" he asked. She shook her head, determined to let him in.

"No," she said into his shoulder. She put her bottom lip between her teeth, ready to clamp down if the pain got too bad.

He moved slowly, dragging out the process, so afraid to hurt her. "Just," she panted against his shoulder, "just do it."

He nodded and captured her lips as he entered her fully. Christ it burned as her body stretched to accommodate him.

"You asleep?" a deeper voiced Kip asked, as he braced himself above her. No wait, adult Kip sat beside her.

"No, I was, uh, thinking." Her face burned.

"What were you thinking about?" He looked at her.

"Nothing." She looked back at the television. "Watch the show."

"Oh, no." He poked her side a little, making her jump. "Tell me."

She shook her head. "It was nothing, I swear."

"If you kiss me, I might forget." She gave in to his teasing grin. She lifted herself and kissed his lips. He refused to kiss her back, so she took hold of the sides of his head and tilted him to the side. She licked at his lips, then used her teeth to nip on him until he crumbled in laughter and opened his mouth, finally, kissing her back.

He moved his fingers up her sides starting at her hips. Tentatively, so carefully, he let his palms glide over the sides of her breasts. Then he cupped them, fanning his thumbs over her nipples. The tightened under the thin material of her shirt and bra. He pulled from her lips and pressed his mouth against the center of one breast. He breathed a puff of hot air into her shirt. He tongued her through the material.

Mandy thought she might jump out of her skin. She gripped his head, not wanting it to stop. But he did. He pulled away and held her tight, so she was straddling his lap, kneeling over him. "Were you thinking of that?"

Her head was fuzzy. "I was thinking about our first time."

"Is it a good memory for you?"

She sighed dreamily. "Of course, it is Kip." She kissed his hair. "Can you feel me buzzing? I'm easier now then I was." She rubbed his hair, the silky strands slipped through her fingers.

"Are you?" He looked at her. Then he glanced over at Colton's sleeping body. "What I will do is let you go. If you could take Colton to his bed. Because though he's asleep, it feels a little strange."

That brought her out of her dreamy state. She forgot her son was there. She jumped off Kip and onto the floor.

Kip laughed. While Kip took Colton to his bed, Mandy went into the main floor bathroom and finger combed her hair frantically. She realized her make-up smudged under her eyes, but she didn't have time to run upstairs to fix that.

She was more nervous than the first time she slept with him. This was Kip, and he didn't need sex. He was happy if they cuddled all night in front of the television.

She was ready, though. She thought about it since he invited her. She went out on her lunch break today and bought a pack of condoms for fuck's sake. She would jump him. Starting the minute she walked out of this room.

God she wished she brushed her teeth first.

### * * * *

Kip tucked Colton into bed. Then he stood there, staring at him with the hall light on. He felt a strange affinity for this being that had only walked into his life less than a month ago. They'd had a blast together playing video games and eating junk food. Then during his visit a few weeks ago they'd played Lego.

It was scary as hell, this getting involved with a kid. He seemed to like Kip well enough. But they were only friends, getting to know each other. If, shit, he and Mandy moved in together, would this kid accept him as a father figure?

That thought scared and thrilled Kip. Fucking hell, he didn't even know if Mandy would sleep with him. Would she consider moving to a new city? Just for him?

He had no idea how to be someone's boyfriend, someone's husband, someone's father. His head spun as he left the bedroom. He partially closed the door before he made his way downstairs. In the kitchen he opened his liquor cabinet and poured himself a drink. A very strong one.

Mandy came out of the bathroom and found him in the kitchen. "You want a drink?"

Her eyebrows raised. "You okay?"

"I was putting him to bed, and it was scary, this whole kid thing. We like each other well enough. But what the hell do I know about being a father? The only thing my dad ever cared about was how I did on the ice."

Mandy put her hands on his arm, while he emptied his glass. "Slow down, babe. Kip, seriously, we are barely even back together. You barely know Colton. We barely know each other." He set his glass on the counter and looked at her.

"You're right. My imagination got away with me when I tucked him in there. I really like the kid. And he likes me. I've spent more time with him than with my sisters' kids."

"Sorry we are overwhelming you. We can go home early if you want."

His body tensed at the suggestion. "No," he exploded. He softened his next words. "No. Please, it's overwhelming yes. But being apart from you is worse. I hate that we are so far apart. It's harder to be with you. The way I want to be."

"You'll have the summer off. You can come stay with us then. Or us with you, or whatever. I have the whole summer off as well."

"What's that like for you? Does it make money harder?"

"I tutor some. Look after a kid or two. It's great. Mostly Colton and I hang out."

He wrapped his arms around her, reveled in the rightness of having her in his arms again. He tilted her face up and kissed her. "I love having you here. Scary as it is, it's so great. I hope you aren't put off by me doing all that boy stuff with Colton."

Mandy grinned at him. "I love that you get along so well. I love watching my two favorite people have fun together as you do. I'm amazed that you enjoy that kind of stuff. I don't get it. But I have my own enjoyment when I watch you."

He nodded. "I'm sorry I freaked out. Do you wanna go back in and watch the rest of the movie?"

"Honestly, I didn't watch the first part of it. I thought back to that first year we dated. How sweet you were, taking your time with me. Working your way to making love."

"You make it sound as if I should have pounced on you."

"You don't know the locker-room talk. Girls saying that guys could get it from anyone and they had to be doing all this stuff to keep their boyfriends. It freaked me out. You were the hottest guy in that school. And I wasn't opening my legs."

He kissed her eyelids, taking his time to form his thoughts and get the words right. "I guess I matured early. Sex with those kinds of girls was, well, it was good. But you were different, Mandy." He brushed her hair back from her face. "I was so in love with you, I would have done anything."

"Tell the truth. Did you tell the guys in the locker room we were having sex?"

"Of course," he scoffed. Then he went serious. "Probably. I was still a kid."

"I'm okay with that. I told the girls the same thing. We were having sex. I didn't want them to think they could steal you away from me. I read romance novels so I could pretend I knew what happened."

He couldn't help it. The thought of her telling those snobs things she read in romance novels was too much. He would have thrown his head back, but he couldn't keep his eyes off her. As he looked at her in his arms, he laughed at her. Those were the girls he dated before he knew Mandy, these were girls he had sex with, unbelievable as it was now. "I'm sorry," he said when he settled. "I didn't mean to laugh at you. But the image was so funny."

"I know. I can't believe I wanted to impress those bitches. They were so mean to each other, I couldn't imagine what they would say to me." She beamed at him. He felt as if the sun shone on him.

"I have an idea," he said, kissing her nose. "You want to get into the hot tub?"

She glanced over at his stove clock. "Don't you have to get up early in the morning?"

"I think we're supposed to be on ice at nine. So we need to get up at seven. Are you tired?"

She nodded. "Let's go hang out in the living room somewhere. Listen to music."

"I think that sounds like the best idea I've heard all night."

"I'm really glad I'm here," she confessed. Her eyes shone and he thought for a minute she might cry. So he hugged her close. He couldn't handle tears, even out of happiness, it would set him off.

His heart pounded out the message, I love you. And he wondered, not for the first time tonight, why he couldn't say the words.

Chapter 9

Mandy woke with a start. She wasn't alone in bed. She snuggled against a large warm body. And not under any blankets. Not Colton, she thought sleepily. She raised her head and looked at the body next to her.

Kip.

Her mind struggled for details as she looked at him. No sun came through the curtains yet. The details of the evening filtered back to her as she rolled onto her side. She wanted to savor the moment.

She all but fell asleep on poor Kip while they sat in the living room. Conversation flowed for a while, but eventually she snuggled into him and let his even breathing and his heartbeat lull her.

At some point he carried her to the bed. He set her on the floor and said something like, "I wish I could be that guy who undresses you, but I don't have the ambition." To which she replied, "Stay with me."

"I won't fall asleep here," he said. But obviously he had. Damn her habit of waking early. It had been one of the most peaceful sleeps she'd experienced. She eased herself away from his body, hoping she could get out of bed without waking him.

He stirred when her body came off the bed. "Mandy?"

"Sleep, it's early still."

He sat up. "I have to get up. I have practice. Breakfast."

"Right." She sat back down on the bed. She could get used to waking in his bed. Sharing breakfast. Maybe sharing a shower. She grinned in the dark.

"It's 6:20," he said. "I need coffee, a shower. I bought breakfast foods."

"Foods?"

"Eggs, cereal." He was silent for a moment. "Bacon."

"Pancake mix?" she asked. "I could whip us up a batch. Colton and I usually do on the weekends."

"Yeah, I'm sure I threw that in. If not, we'll do it tomorrow, okay?"

She followed him down the stairs. He pulled some coffee beans out of the freezer, while Mandy looked through his cupboards. "Hope you don't mind if I look," she threw over her shoulder.

"My home is yours." Something inside her flip-flopped again. She needed to get out of here soon before her heart set itself on staying.

She found the pancake mix, but no bowl large enough to mix a batch in. She looked at him, laughing already.

"What?"

"You have no mixing bowls. Do you even having a frying pan?"

"Yeah. One."

"Oh my darling, you are the bachelor. Well, if you let me buy you some kitchen basics, I will make you Sunday morning breakfast."

"You can pick it out. I pay."

His eyes were serious as he faced her., as if he expected her to argue. Mandy bit her tongue, literally, cutting of any retort. "All right." She held up her hands in surrender.

"After I have a cup of coffee, you want to shower with me?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows before turning back. Then he turned again. "Do you drink coffee?"

"Not so much."

"Right. Add your beverage of choice to your list. Anything else you might need."

"I'm on it." Once the coffee started brewing, he grabbed her from the counter she leaned on. He bent his head but stopped before he touched her. "I'd kiss you but I have the whole morning breath."

"I'll chance it. I'll take a few minutes to think about that shower." She stretched up. He bent and pressed his lips to hers, a sweet closed mouth kiss.

"Come on. You're considering sleeping with me. Showering can be foreplay."

She stepped back and gestured to her body. "I'm not the same girl you knew. I have a few new surprises under these clothes."

He pulled her back against him, letting his hands roam over her stomach and hips while he replied to her self-consciousness. "More of you to love. I love watching your curves, nearly as much as I love touching them." He let his hands move over her breasts, molding them to his palms. She filled his large hands and then some. Her body ignited in response to his caress. "Stick girls are boring compared with you."

He pulled her shirt from her waistband cupped her breasts under the thin cotton. While he supported their weight, he bent his head to her ear and whispered to her. "Make no mistake, Mandy. I want you. I want to see you. I want to watch you as you come, my hands between your legs. My mouth between your legs. And most of all I want to bury myself into you."

He let her go, and she was stuck in the spot. Her body hummed with desire. How would she last through the day with that kind of morning foreplay? For fuck sake. She felt beautiful when he touched her, when he whispered in her ear.

He hummed to himself as he poured himself a mug of coffee. "Do you want some?"

"What? Oh, no, thanks." Mandy moved out of the kitchen and sat at the dining table. The light was dimmer over here. She considered her options.

Kip sat beside her. His mug in one hand, his other hand on her leg. His cologne mixed with the coffee wax intoxicating. The smell of plain Kip mixed in as well.

Her body's reaction was evident as well, in the kitchen. If he noticed her, he didn't show it. She pressed her legs together. The dampness pressed against her thighs. She was so fucked. No, that wasn't it. He would be, though.

She watched him as he drank his coffee in silence. She leaned against him slightly, as she stared out his patio doors that led off his kitchen onto his deck.

"I have to go shower. I don't usually sleep in my clothes."

"Me neither," she admitted. He stood and put his empty mug in the sink.

"The invitation is open," he said, before he climbed the stairs.

She smiled to herself, lingering at the table for a moment more. Then she went upstairs, grabbed some clean clothes from her bag and shut her door. Colton would assume she was still sleeping and head downstairs to play video games. If he woke, he stayed up later than usual.

As she went into Kip's bedroom, her heart thudded against her ribs. She took a deep breath and closed the door. She could hear the shower. She stared at the closed bathroom door for a few moments, trying to settle her nerves.

When she felt calm, she stripped her clothes and let them drop on the floor outside the bathroom door. In Kip's bedroom. It was enough to make her heart pound again, but she pushed open the bathroom door.

The room was steamy, and she quickly shut the door behind her. She ran her hand along the marble countertop, then across the edge of the Jacuzzi. Kip spent a lot of money on his home. It set her a little off balance. She forced those thoughts to the side as she opened the shower door.

Kip yelped as he spun around, wiping the water off his face. "Still open?" she asked, her voice pitched high.

He took her hand and pulled her into the spray of hot water. He kissed her, as the water ran over their faces, moving so their bodies pressed together.

Wordlessly, he soaped his hands and placed them on her shoulders. By the time he was done, he washed her entire body: shoulder to ankle. He shut off the water and climbed out. She followed his soundless demands. He dried her, and she closed her eyes to enjoy his hands on her body.

"Did you come for the shower?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Do we have time?"

"Not to take the time to worship you as I should. It's been so long since I had sex, I'll go off the minute you touch me." His feelings on the matter pressed against her thigh.

"Me too. I don't care. The first time, let's not have expectations."

He kissed her and moved her backward out of the bathroom. "You deserve better than this." He picked her up and placed her on the center of his bed. "You look as if you belong there."

He descended upon her with heated and demanding kisses. His fingers played on her skin, teasing her nipples, tracing circles on her areola. Then he replaced his fingers with his mouth. His fingers traveled her body, pressing her legs open. She whimpered in anticipation as her fingers drew restless circles on his chest, squeezed his shoulders.

She closed her eyes, unwilling to look at him while he caressed her so intimately. He combed his fingers through her dewy curls, spreading the tender lips, a finger pressed into her clit, rubbing it in quick circles.

She grabbed his cock, as it lay heavy between them on her thigh. She caressed him gently, rubbed him hard. Amazingly, he grew even harder with each stroke. At least it seemed that way to her, but four years without sex could cause her mind to play tricks.

He slipped one finger into her. "You feel so tight," he murmured into her ear. She didn't reply, she'd explain later. Maybe. It had been embarrassingly long for her. Instead, she let her legs fall open as she moaned.

He stroked her, stoked her need higher. She would explode any second, all the cells in her body strained for release when he pulled away. A whimper escaped her throat, as she watched him through hazy eyes as he rolled over. She blinked as she saw him open a silver wrapper. Thank God he thought about protection, she realized as he covered himself.

He rolled her onto her back, pressing his weight into her. "Never doubt how sexy you are," he murmured, as guided his cock into her waiting body. He groaned low into her ear. "Good god, you are fucking tight."

She was. It hurt, so she pressed her eyes closed to hide it. As he thrust into her, he slipped a hand between their bodies, caressing that tiny hidden nub. The pain receded, and pleasure quickly took its place. He pressed her higher and higher, rubbed faster and faster, thrust harder into her. He responded to her low moans by lifting her hips.

She felt herself explode. She opened her eyes in shock as the orgasm washed over her. "Holy mother of-." Kip stopped moving and lifted himself above her so looked down at her.

"Good? Okay? Mandy?"

"I'm okay. I didn't expect. It was better than I remembered."

"Exactly how long has it been?"

"Four years, at least. I haven't kept track exactly. I didn't plan-" she cut herself off.

He swore softly, then kissed her so sweetly, she broke. "I'm glad it was me." He renewed his movements. He let himself groan softly into her ear, as they held tight to each other.

With a louder groan and a final thrust, he emptied himself. He closed his eyes and pressed his face into her neck to inhale her sweet smell.

"It's been that long?" he asked.

"I don't want to talk about it. It seems like it has been."

"I know. It's like the first time all over."

"Almost. Better than the first time. It wasn't quite as good, if I recall. Though it was better than some stories I heard." Mandy kissed his shoulder and neck.

He moved back and she touched his waist. He still rolled away, getting ready to remove the condom.

He stilled after his feet hit the floor. "Yeah?" he asked, after a long moment, looking over his shoulder.

"I really love you."

She turned away from him, and sat on the edge of the bed.

He sat there for a long moment. Eventually, he went to the bathroom to dispose of the rubber. Mandy got off the bed and dressed quickly. She didn't know how to feel about her confession or his lack of response.

He came back in and put his arms around her. "Mandy."

"Don't," she barked. Her body prickled. "I mean, you don't have to say anything." She couldn't turn to face him, not now.

"No, you can't turn away from me." She gave in to that and let him turn her. She stood trapped in her shirt, on her arms but not over her head. "I never said it, because it seems so insignificant compared with how I feel. I feel like the luckiest person alive that you even want to talk to me."

Mandy shook her head, tense with the desire to break free of him. Her shake turned to a nod. "We'd better get going. I haven't woke Cole yet."

He let her go. "This conversation isn't over."

### * * * *

Kip looked at Mandy as he drove through the city. "Can we go to the zoo?" Colton asked.

"It's a little cold for that today. We'll do it in the summer," Mandy told him. She looked at Kip. "We go at least once every summer. Usually two or three times."

Kip nodded dumbly. He was stunned by Mandy's sudden appearance in his shower, then the incredible sex. Which ended with that change in mood, where she said 'I love you' and he said nothing.

"I love you," had been on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't say the words. Too soon, too much, too fast. He knew he loved her when he first kissed her in January.

Kip glanced in his rear-view mirror at Colton. The kid vibrated while he clutched his camera. Kip could relate. He remembered the year his dad took him to his first pro game in Edmonton. He'd been about six. He smiled recalling the way he clutched his dad's hand. That was before Kip had showed much of a talent for hockey and his dad didn't care so much about his future in the game. When hockey had been for fun.

At the rink, Kip parked the truck. By the time he got to Mandy's side, she was already out and helping Colton out of his seat. "Sorry." She glanced over her shoulder at him. "Not used to having someone who will open my door."

Kip smiled. "It's okay. Hey Colton, you wanna race?"

"Yeah."

"I'll catch up," Mandy said.

"You say when," Kip told the boy. And they ran off toward the building. Kip wanted to take Colton to the store inside and buy him a jersey before he went to get dressed.

A few people milled around, wanting to watch the practice. He glanced over his shoulder before he went in the doors. "Come on, I want to get you a surprise." The kid grinned.

Kip ushered him to where the store was. He looked at the jersey sizes then Colton. Sizing the kid up, Kip grabbed a jersey that looked about right. "What do you think?" he asked.

"Cool!"

"Should we get your mom one too?"

"Yeah," Colton nodded three times. "She always watches the Calgary games and we cheer for you."

Kip smiled and ruffled his hair. He couldn't help but love the kid. "Thanks." Kip went around the store and found a jersey for Mandy as well. He put them on the counter. The kid behind the counter popped his gum bubble.

"Is that everything?" He looked bored as he rang up the sale.

Kip nodded and handed over his credit card. He signed the receipt and they exited the store. He helped Colton take off his coat and put on the shirt. "Red looks good on you," Kip told him.

Colton grinned so hard, Kip wondered if his face hurt. "Thanks Kip."

"You're welcome. We better go find your Mom."

"She's probably worried," Colton said.

"She only worries because she loves you."

"I know."

They found Mandy near the entrance, leaning against a wall. "There you guys are," she said when they found her. "What? Hey. Nice shirt," she told Colton. Then she turned her smile on Kip.

He melted. He couldn't help it. He loved making her smile. It was his favorite thing in the world.

"Now we can look like real Calgary fans," Colton said.

"Just you," Mandy said.

Colton shook his head. Kip handed her the bag from the shop, then he grabbed her for a kiss. "I gotta go get dressed. I'll show you where you can watch on the way. Sorry Colton."

"For what?"

"Kissing in front of you."

"It's okay. I think I have to get used to it." He wrinkled his nose. Mandy and Kip laughed. He pulled them double time to seating then jogged toward the dressing room.

He didn't realize he had a ridiculous smile on his face until he got into the dressing room.

"You look manic," Corey Porter said.

"I think I might be." Corey could flap his mouth. Nice guy, but the guy never slept with the same girl twice. He couldn't imagine living like that. Mandy would watch. Not that she didn't watch him already, but she was here.

He recalled the first game she watched after they began dating. She came to the first game of the season. He hadn't let her come to any practices, but he was surprised to find her in the bleachers with her new friend, Anne. She waved at Kip when he came out and he lifted his hand back.

The guys in the dressing room gave him a hard time about dating the her for the first month. One day someone went to far and Kip left him with a bloody nose, no one said much after that. Despite his youth, he refused to quit on Mandy. From the moment he saw her, she was the girl of his dreams. He couldn't explain it.

He couldn't remember the final score of that game, how many saves he made. He couldn't remember most of the players on his team. What he recalled was how it felt to have her sitting in the crowd, rooting for him.

He grinned the whole time he put on his equipment. Kyle came over and sat beside him. "Okay, if you smile anymore, I will get the doc to check you."

Kip laughed. "Sorry, my girlfriend is here. It kinda makes me feel sixteen again."

"Your girlfriend? Hold the phone." Corey stood. "Hey Kippy here has a girlfriend," he boomed to the whole room.

Kip's smile returned and his face flushed. "Shut the fuck up man." He swung at Corey halfheartedly.

Corey sat back down. "How the hell do you have a girl? Because last week, nothing."

"It was too early last week. Don't worry about it. Get your head in the game. We need to win." Corey shoved Kip's head and walked off.

Kip finished dressing and went out to the ice. He skated to his goal, before he ventured a look to the stands. Colton and Mandy sat there, talking to each other. The sound of skates on the ice drew their attention and they looked down to the ice.

Colton jumped to his feet and waved. Mandy grabbed his hand and pulled him back. She said something to him and he grabbed his camera and looked through the lens.

Kip smiled and lifted his stick in a greeting to them. Mandy looked pleased and waved back. A whistle on the ice forced Kip's attention back to the game.

As he skated to the rest of the team, Corey looked at the bleachers. He elbowed Kip in the side. "Is that her up there? With a kid? Never took you for that kind of guy."

Kip glanced over his shoulder. "Yep, that's her. Them. You can grill me later. Oh yeah, you can give the kid an autograph as well."

Corey laughed. "Sure thing."

The practice went well Kip decided as he left the ice. He was in desperate need of a shower. That got his blood running hot again as he recalled his shower this morning.

He stood in the walkway, while he waited for Mandy to come down. He got permission for her to come meet the team, which would be more nerve-wracking than her watching.

### * * * *

Mandy was ready for a nap and it was barely even noon. Watching Kip practice was enough. After which, she met the team. She would have skipped that part, except for Colton. He requested some autographs. The team autographed the jersey Kip bought him.

They were all nice guys. Some of them flirted with her. Mainly, she wanted to disappear from the whole thing. She had to deal with the implications of jumping Kip earlier that morning. Her body wanted more already.

Colton said he was hungry. With that, Kip ushered them out. Now they were in the truck headed for the nearest pizza place and Mandy leaned on the door, her eyes closed. "No wonder you are in such great shape," Mandy said."How in the hell do you do that with your legs?" She sat up and looked at him.

Kip laughed. "Practice, love."

His laugh made her shiver. It was deep and rich, like his voice. It touched her deep inside her belly. "I can't wait to see the game tonight."

"Should be a good one," he said. Then he spoke to Colton. "I think it was too much for your mom. But did you enjoy yourself?"

"Yeah." Colton looked from his camera. "I got tons of great pictures and nearly everyone signed my shirt. I totally can't wait to show Mark. Hey, can we go up in the Calgary Tower today?"

Mandy would have negated that, but Kip spoke first. "Sure. After we grab some lunch."

Mandy leaned her head back. She smiled at Kip when he reached over and rubbed her thigh."Too much?" he asked.

She nodded. "A little." she sighed. "Sometimes I still feel like the shy teenager."

"You are the shy teenager. It's one of the things I love about you."

Mandy wanted to snap at him. Tell him to stop being so sweet all the time. If he got any sweeter, they would be in a fucking romance novel and she would believe that everything in her life was perfect.

"You look upset by that."

"I'm tired and hungry."

"Good thing we are here. We have to go to some store and get my kitchen stocked," he pointed out.

Mandy stifled a yawn as he parked the truck. "Right. IKEA."

"IKEA?"

"Sure, they have the best stuff for cheap."

Colton whined at the suggestion. "I hate that place. You always take a million hours to go through there."

"Well, cross your fingers that the play area is open for you."

"They have a play area?" Kip looked intrigued by the idea.

Mandy waited until they were heading into the restaurant to answer. "Sure, they have a supervised play area for the kids."

"Shit." He wrinkled his nose. "Sorry."

"I know, I know," Colton said, "It's a bad word. Don't repeat it."

Kip laughed and put his arm around Colton's shoulders. "You really are a good kid. Come on, let's figure out what kind of pizza to get."

They were seated and had put in their orders in due course. Colton insisted on sitting beside Kip so he could show his new best friend the pictures of practice. "I'll sit with you, but I have to kiss your mom first so she doesn't feel left out."

Colton averted his gaze while Kip gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "I'll make everything up to you tonight," he whispered. He held her gaze while he moved around the table to sit beside her son.

She leaned on the table and watched them look at the pictures on the tiny screen on the back of the camera. Kip was truly interested in what Colton had to say. She was deeper in by the second.

Their pizza came quickly. Mandy wasn't sure how Kip worked that one, but he seemed like her personal miracle, so she didn't question. She simply picked off the mushrooms. "Mom hates those," Colton informed Kip when the order was placed.

"I know," Kip replied. Mandy reached over and put them on the edge of Kip's plate. She noticed a pile of pineapple grew on her plate. Her hand brushed Kip's as they passed each other the hated bits of food.

Mandy looked up and met his green eyes. They mirrored her amusement, and he covered her hand with his and squeezed it. "Old habits," Mandy said softly.

"Very old habits," he replied.

Mandy glanced at Colton who dug into the pizza, not noticing anything else. Mandy decided she should do the same. She wondered what her chances of getting a nap before the game were.

****

After the game, Mandy watched as Kip hoisted a sleeping body out of his truck. They lost the game. She couldn't help but wonder if her presence had thrown him off somehow. But she didn't comment.

Kip was subdued when they left the stadium. Mandy was as well, she had gone another round with a bunch of people she didn't know. All she wanted was to return to Kip's and have him all to herself.

She'd never really have him all to herself, she reminded herself. There would always be hockey between them. He left her once for the game. If he had to choose again, what would he do? What would she do? Send him away again? She wasn't sure her heart could take it this time.

Suddenly, she looked forward to returning home. She followed Kip in the front door. He kicked off his shoes and climbed the stairs. Mandy turned on some lights and unpacked the things they purchased that afternoon. She itched to make Kip something. He might be able to buy damn near anything he wanted in the world. But she could give him a meal cooked with her own hands.

She prepped the new items to wash and he still hadn't come down. She gave up and followed him. After looking in every room on the way, she finally found him on the edge of the tub, filling it with water. "Would you care to join me?" he asked.

She nodded. "I would." She felt that now-familiar flip flop of her stomach and heart. Her eyes searched his face, and she reached out and wrapped her arms around him. "This is all so overwhelming."

He looked up from where his face pressed between her breasts. "It is. And I'm sorry meeting the team was so bad for you. I didn't realize it would be."

Mandy shook her head. "No, don't apologize. Everything has been overwhelming, and that put me over the top. But Colton, he's-"

Kip cut her off. "- amazing. I love spending time with him."

"That tears at me even more. I can't believe we have to leave tomorrow."

He nodded. "I know. Look, hockey will be over sooner or later."

"Let's hope for later. There's a lot of time between then and now. We don't have to talk about the future tonight."

Kip leaned forward and shut off the water. He kissed her deeply. "Let me undress you."

Chapter 10

Mandy remained complacent while he undressed her. He bent his head and kissed the skin as it was exposed. When kissing no longer satisfied his need, he nibbled and licked. He fully undressed her while he was on his knees in front of her.

He helped her perch on the edge of the tub, opening her knees so his shoulders fit between. With his fingers, he opened her delicate folds. With his tongue, he caressed her in the most intimate of kisses.

She squirmed around him as he drank her exotic taste in. Her knees quivered against his shoulders, as he let out a relentless barrage on her senses. He held her hips with his hands, keeping her from moving away.

Eventually, too soon and too long, she bucked under him, his fingers making long deep strokes into her body. She moaned her satisfaction. He caught her before she slid to the floor.

His cock twitched in anticipation. It too wanted fulfillment. He put it off for the moment and held her. Then when she was steady again, he helped her into the steaming tub.

He shucked his clothes, dropping them over hers. He turned the jet timer on and climbed in beside her. He sat next to her and pulled her body against his, shoulder to knee. She slid her leg over top of his. "I thought we would go slow," Mandy said, a mischievous grin on her face.

"We were. I thought," Kip replied. He licked his lips again, smacking them dramatically. "You taste better than I recall. Definitely more potent than wine. Which I forgot to get."

"I don't need anything to drink. That bit of action was more than intoxicating."

He kissed her again. "It was all I could do to keep from fucking you on the floor."

"That would have been a little less than comfortable. My body is still humming, though. It's been ready to go all day."

"I think you need to relax." He moved her so she sat on his lap.

"This is how you hope to accomplish relaxation?"

"If you'd be quiet."

He pressed his thumbs into her lower back, moving them in circles. He moved up and down her back that way until she was limp in his arms. He kissed her shoulder and pulled her against him. "That's better."

"Much."

"Did you enjoy the game?" he asked, finally.

She feared mentioning it, not sure how he felt about the loss.

"It was fun. But very loud. Is it that loud on the ice?"

"I don't know. My focus is on the game. I don't hear anything."

"Colton loved it. Thank you for that."

"I'm glad. Not only to impress you."

"I know. I worried that having me there made you nervous."

"It's comforting. Exciting. Playing at home is always electric, because all these fans want you to do well. That's more for themselves. If I know you are up there wanting me to do well, it's different. That's for me."

Mandy grinned. "You're one hell of a romantic guy."

"Don't let that get out. I'll have enough answering questions about our relationship."

"What will you tell them?"

"It's none of their fucking business."

"Kip."

"I dunno, that you were my high school sweetheart. And we chanced to meet again, and it turned out you still carried a torch for me, who could turn that down?"

She turned to show him her smirk. "I hope they don't give you the same hard time you got in high school for dating me."

"How do you know I got a hard time?"

"Please, I was the total opposite of what you were. I was a total loser. I had one friend. I was slightly overweight. You were like this god."

"You were beautiful. I never let those idiots bother me."

Mandy didn't reply. She didn't believe him either. She leaned against him.

"I didn't let it stop me then. And I won't let it stop me now. It's not as if I'm in the spotlight. I only play a quarter of the games."

"I don't want to be the one who slows you down or anything."

"You're never the person who slows me down." She moved back, feeling self-conscious. He pulled her close again. "I'm overheating and getting pruney. Should we get out of here?"

"Sure," Mandy said. Her mind stayed on her fears. She followed him out of the tub, took the towel he offered and rubbed her skin down. She wrapped it around herself to ward off the chill of the room.

"Come on, I've been dying to get you into my bed since you arrived on my doorstep."

"You had me there. This morning." She frowned at the digital clock on his bedside table. "Yesterday morning."

He tugged at her towel. It dropped to the floor. She realized as she glanced at him, he was naked. She shivered as she looked at him. He was so fucking beautiful it hurt. That someone like him wanted her seemed nothing short of a miracle.

He kissed her, as if proving that he wanted her. She kissed him back, letting him move her toward the bed. His hands were on her breasts, lifting them, fanning her nipples with his thumbs. When she lay on the bed, he moved over her. He put his head to her chest, licking, sucking.

Mandy waited until he was done, until he moved, and she pushed him onto his back. She returned the favor, recalling how much he enjoyed her teeth lightly on his skin. She smiled as she straddled him, moving lower. She put her teeth around a nipple and bit gently, tugging backward. She glanced up, enjoying the look on his face.

She let go and continued moving down. She made him squirm with her tongue in his belly button. She let her fingers scrape over his tight abs. "Good god, you're in amazing shape."

"It's only good if it's turning you on."

"It is," she said, as she moved down. Her hands gripped his muscular thighs. "I still can't believe the way you can spread your legs."

"They pay me a lot of money for things like that," he panted.

"And I get it to enjoy it for free. Lucky me." She gripped his cock in one hand, stroking it slowly. She smiled at him, a promising smile, then she bent her head. She saw his eyes roll back in his head in anticipation. Then he disappeared as her mouth engulfed his cock. It stiffened as she took him deep inside, swirling her tongue around him.

He groaned and dug a hand into her hair. She ran one hand across his hard stomach. She didn't get to play for very long with him before he tugged at her head. "I can't take it," he said. "I need to be inside you."

"Condom?" she asked.

"In the side table." He sounded winded for a guy in such great shape and she smiled, pleased with herself.

She grabbed a condom out of the top drawer and opened it carefully. "It has been a long time since I did this," she said, as she rolled it over him. She wiggled her hips so she straddled his body. "You get to lie back and enjoy it a little longer."

With a smile, he caressed her breasts then moved to her hips, he grabbed her ass, before she impaled herself on his dick. He let out a low groan as she rocked her body over his. She leaned back, arching herself, while he slid in and out. She wouldn't last long, especially not with his thumb pressing into her clit.

She closed her eyes, letting him push her over the edge. He kept his finger rubbing that spot, even as she came. She let her hands down on either side of his head, as she panted in ecstasy. And he pressed harder, making it happen again. She kissed him deeply, stifling the loud moan she wanted to let out.

He grabbed her around the waist and lifted himself. With a swift, deft movement, he flipped her to her back. He held her hips tight as he pounded into her. His mouth fused to hers, his tongue thrust as wildly as his hips. He pulled back, suddenly. He looked at her. "You okay?"

She blinked. "Fine, except you stopped doing what you were."

"I got lost for a moment. I forgot, again."

She rubbed his back with her open palms and kissed his face softly, hoping to soothe him. "I will let you know with a swift pinch if things aren't going well for me. Okay?"

He smiled at her, his eyes soft and sparkling, teary-eyed. He kissed her mouth gently. "Okay. I can't believe how hot you are."

She lifted her hips, squeezing her inner muscles around him. He groaned and renewed his thrusting, albeit slower. Mandy bit his shoulder. He glanced at her. Knowing she had his attention she looked into his eyes. "Fuck me, Kip." She hoped she came off demanding and seductive at the same time. "I want to feel you come."

Her words, her voice or some combination did it. He lifted her to him and thrust into her hard and fast. Fucking her, pushing her over the edge again. She shuddered as the waves slowed, he shook, thrusting slowly into her a few more times, he let himself lie over her.

She stroked his shoulders. "I have needed this for a very long time."

"You can tell me what you've been doing for release for the past four years after I clean up." He rolled away from her and stood beside the bed. "See if it's as good as my imagination."

She laughed as he left. She pulled back the covers and climbed under. Then she panicked. Would she sleep in here with him? What did that mean? But as he appeared in the doorway from the bathroom, he knew she wouldn't leave tonight.

### * * * *

Kip sat on the edge of the bathtub after he tossed the used rubber. He took a few steadying breaths. He lost it in there before with Mandy. He forgot who he was with. Over the years sex became something he did because his bodily needs couldn't be taken care of in any other way. It wasn't special, it wasn't exciting. It merely was.

He never wanted it to be like that with Mandy. She was special. Sex with her was more than sex, it was even more than making love. It was a way to express what he felt for her in a physical way. He forgot that when he pounded into her. His mind so wrapped in the feelings, he lost himself in her.

He plain lost himself. He didn't like it. He made a promise to himself to not let that happen again. Every moment with Mandy was precious, he lost so much time with her. He tried not to kick himself for letting her go without a fight all those years ago. It was a losing battle, but he figured he needed to put that aside for now. He had her here. The next step was figuring out how not to let her go again.

He got up from his seat and returned to the bedroom. He stopped in the doorway between rooms. Mandy curled up under his covers. She hadn't left to get dressed, she climbed under the blankets.

His heart went into a free fall, landing in his stomach. He smiled and walked to the bed. "Mind if I join you?" he asked hoarsely.

"Sure," she said, pulling back the blankets for him.

"Just a sec." He held up a finger. Walking away, he shut the door and turned the lights off. "You are staying here tonight, right?"

He crossed the darkened room, slipping under the covers with her. This was the nicest feeling in the world. He didn't care that he had a hand in the losing game earlier. He didn't care when she left him for who knew how long tomorrow afternoon. Tonight they shared a bed.

She snuggled easily into his arms, as if she never left. "I'm staying," she whispered. "Once I was here, it was set."

Kip kissed the crown of her head. "I don't want you to leave."

Mandy's voice was hoarse when she spoke. "I wish I didn't have to. But we aren't ready to jump into everything. I can't do that to Colton. If it were only me, maybe. I dunno."

He stroked her back. "Hey, shh. Listen, when I say that, it's not a request. It's that renewed feeling. It's as if nothing bad could ever happen when I'm with you."

"That new love stuff. We used to fight all the time."

"Not fought. Disagreed, argued sometimes. But I always knew we wouldn't give up because of a fight." Instead, we gave up because I had a dream. He gave up too easily when she told him to go without her. He'd respected her wishes when she asked for a clean break.

"We never gave up." She looked at him. "We were so young."

He kissed her. "Do you feel old sometimes?" He couldn't stop kissing her when she was within arm's reach.

"Sometimes. Lately, yeah, when I look back on the years. You?"

"In my line of work, I'm getting old. People don't last that long unless they are way on top."

"You're pretty well up there, Kip. According to the stats and all the sports guys."

"Thought you didn't check those things much."

"I may have understated myself."

"Colton sold you out. When we were shopping he said he you always watch the games."

Mandy laughed. "I have since the beginning. I watched nearly all your games."

That was something. Something amazing. "I'm touched."

"Well, there it is. Anyway, you were talking about being old. What would you do if you don't play hockey?"

"I can hope to coach or scout or something. I don't know. You know what, except my house, my truck and my toys and a few trips, I've saved a lot of money. I have a few years playing left, to save. Then maybe I'll retire and coach minor hockey." He smiled at her in the dark.

If he were lucky, he'd marry her, have a couple more kids, coach one of the AJHL teams around here and a minor hockey team. There, he admitted his ideal life, at least to himself. He had to convince her it was a good idea.

"You'd be bored in a week. You'll find something."

"I will." She wiggled her body against his, the friction created heat between them. She kissed him soundly on the lips, her tongue seeking out his mouth.

He kissed her back for a moment then pulled back. "As good an idea as this seems, we'd better get some sleep. Neither of us seems capable of sleeping in."

She sighed. "In the morning then."

"Yeah, and you promised me pancakes. You know how long it's been since I had homemade pancakes?"

Mandy laughed. He loved the sound, it thrilled him to his toes. God, if the guys in the locker room saw how goofy his thoughts were, he'd never have any respect. He'd have to figure out a good story to tell him of his conquest of the high school sweetheart, that would get them off his back and he could get on with getting his game back in order. He had some work to do in that realm.

"Elevenish years?" she ventured.

He kissed her. "Try not to snuggle too hard." He kissed her again. "Sweet dreams."

She kissed him back, squirming into the warm bed to get comfortable. "Sweet dreams. I love you."

"You too, darling." God, he worried how much he cared.

### * * * *

Mandy left the following afternoon with a heavy heart. By the time she parked her car in her driveway, the desire to cry passed. It wouldn't always be like this, she told herself. Either they would move to be together or they would separate again. She had to keep that in mind.

She looked at Colton in the rearview mirror as they left the city. "Did you have a nice time?" she asked.

He paused his video game to look back at her. "Yes. Kip is lots of fun."

"He is. I'm glad you get along." She expected him to go back to his video game then, but he continued to look at her. He had something to say, but he wasn't sure how to say it. "Just say it," she prompted. They had that discussion many times.

"Well," he dragged out the word as he gathered his thoughts, "it kind of made me sad."

Mandy felt the question on the tip of her tongue, but she forced herself to keep quiet.

"I kinda, y'know, feel sad about Dad. Like he never comes to visit. And I don't visit him. Like that." He hung his head and Mandy forced herself to focus on the road. It was already late and she couldn't pull over to give her son the hug he needed. He might not welcome one now anyway.

"I know bud." She felt bad sometimes that his dad wasn't around, but she was also glad about it. She didn't trust Eric with Colton's well-being. She didn't trust Eric. She couldn't help but feel happy he wanted nothing to do with Colton. Which caused her guilt. Was it helping or hurting Colton?

Mandy took a deep breath. "Look, Cole. We will talk about it. I have to talk to your dad. And there's lots of stuff to figure out." She had no idea if Eric even wanted to see his son for even a day, let alone for an extended period. A considerable physical distance posed an issue as well.

Colton let out a sigh, as he looked at her. "I know Mom. That's why I didn't want to tell you." He never wanted to burden her with his problems.

"Cole, you have to tell me these things. We talked about that before. Don't worry about it. We'll figure it out together, okay?"

"Okay," he said, still sounding dejected.

Mandy's heavy heart took on an extra ton as she drove away from Kip's house. She couldn't even discuss it with Kip. Their relationship wasn't ready yet to take on the burden of this problem. It was too new, too fragile. And the problem was too complex. Hopefully, she could connect with Sophia to talk, before she connected with Eric.

As the kilometers passed, and the distance and all things associated with him grew, Mandy's mind turned to the new problem. And it wasn't really the distance, or Eric. It was her letting Colton go. She was never away from him more than a day in eight years. Her identity as a Mom came first in her life, always. Being a teacher was a job, but a mom was what she was. She dedicated her life to protecting Colton since his birth.

This reality wasn't what she'd dreamed her family would be. Those old childhood dreams.

It was time she let go of those dreams. Those ideals. It wouldn't happen now.

She had to accept that Colton would visit his dad for short periods of time. And during those times, she wouldn't control Colton's actions, well-being or well, anything.

Mandy sighed. It was hard to let go of those things, but it was time. It was probably time to let go of expectations in other areas as well. For example, life with Kip. In her ideal life he stayed home. Hell, if she had her way, he' would move to Red Deer to live with her instead of the other way around.

It wasn't fair to hold Kip to that ideal. His job was hockey, half of which happened on the road, gone. She couldn't negotiate the travel time. The only choice was to be with The Tiger Goalie, the most amazing man she knew, the remainder of his time or have nothing to do with him.

She couldn't deny what she wanted of the two choices.

The little voice of idealism asked about the ever present trade possibilities. She shrugged back at it. He'd come home when he could, because home would be waiting for him, with her.

Mandy sighed as she reached for the radio. She wanted to ignore that nagging voice, the one that said those ideals might be what made her let him go. The emotional and physical weariness of the weekend set in deeper the further she moved away from Kip.

Chapter 11

The three months following their reunion constituted the end of the regular playing season for Kip. A sort of routine formed over those months. If he had time off during the week, he stayed with them at her townhouse. If time off fell on the weekends or he played in town, she and Colton would make the trip there. And when he went out of town, they talked via their web-cams.

The euphoria of the new relationship faded in comfortably of togetherness. Something always nagged at the back of her mind. The same problem that nagged her as a teenager.

He was the popular guy about town again. She preferred to stay at home, enjoying quiet activities such as reading. She held a few extra pounds but she no longer wore thick glasses, thankfully. She hadn't worn braces since the year before she met Kip. She no longer felt awkward in her own body. But she wasn't suave or cool. While the spotlight on him wasn't that close, he still garnered public attention.

Besides that, he could always be traded next year or next week. He told her that his contract ran out at the end of the season. After that, he didn't know what he would do and she feared asking. Time and again, she wanted to ask, it had been on the tip of her tongue. But the fear that he would say, "I'd move and I'd ask you to come with me," remained present in her mind.

A move to Calgary was one thing. She could handle that kind of move. She felt as if she lived here anyway. She would still be close to some of her friends. But she wouldn't move across the country. When she moved to Alberta from Saskatoon, it had been hard to leave her friends. But she did it for Colton. Now to consider moving across the country, maybe even further, depending on where he was traded, it was too much. She couldn't do that to Colton.

She could consider a few years long distance. She disliked being even an hour away with his playing schedule. Across the country probably wouldn't work. She couldn't be happy that way.

Tonight she raced to Calgary on Friday after school, for the last game of the regular season. Electric energy filled the city atmosphere as she drove in. She bypassed the turn to Kip's house and headed straight for the Saddledome. The team had already made the playoffs. The last game simply a formality.

There would be less excitement over this game. Over the months she went from watching Kip to cheering for the whole team. She got to know them over the season, on and off the ice. She sat in the stands with spouses and girlfriends. They had dinners together as friends when she could make it. She even went to Calgary a few times to watch the games with the other women when the team traveled out of town.

It wasn't so bad, really; a relationship with someone who went on the road half the time, and in practice or games the remainder. When he was in town and they had a few spare moments, the time flew by. It might even be doable if he played elsewhere. She could move, or she could stay.

She felt sad that Sophia and her husband couldn't make it for a game. Mandy knew tickets were secure for them, but their large family made it hard to get away. "Is everyone in the city going to the game Mom?" Colton asked.

Mandy laughed. "Not quite. About a million people live in the city, and the Saddledome doesn't fit that many."

"Is Kip playing tonight?"

"Yeah." Unfortunately, for the majority of the games this season he took the role as backup. As the season wore on, he played only a few games. It bothered Mandy more than it seemed to bother Kip. She didn't want to ask. He didn't seem touchy about his place on the team. "I doubt he'll play much of the playoffs though."

"Why?"

"Because the other goalie," crap, how did she put this delicately, without making it seem as if Kip didn't measure up. He definitely struggled this year. "The other goalie is younger. The younger guys play more." There, that should be okay.

"Kip doesn't win when he plays sometimes." That one came out as a mumble. He didn't want to put down his hero.

"Sometimes, but he keeps trying, right?"

"Yeah. It's not always his fault that he doesn't win. Sometimes the guys on his team, they, they don't stop the guy with the puck."

Mandy smiled, wishing she could lean back and pat Colton's leg. She looked at him in the rearview mirror, where he played his video game while he talked. He wore his jersey, the first one Kip had bought him. He owned several at this point. "And sometimes the guys don't score, right?"

"Yeah." He sounded more cheered at the thought. "Do you think he'll win tonight?"

"I hope so. Do you think he will?"

"Well, they're playing Edmonton, so they have a good chance. I think they usually beat them."

"Good point. Hey, another thing is, it's not only Kip who loses, it's the whole team. It's hard being the goalie because sometimes they get blamed for letting in goals. It is a team effort."

"Right. Will we see Corey after the game?" Corey Porter, a young and single man, was the team's star defenseman. He and Colton had taken a liking to each other.

"I don't know Cole. We'll see, okay?"

"All right." Corey promised him they'd go to Calaway Park together this summer. Mandy worried the kid wouldn't follow through, but she couldn't say no. Hopefully, maybe, she would move to Calgary this summer.

She didn't know. She and Kip stuck to the don't ask, don't tell policy, and it drove her mad. Part of her wanted to see how his coming contract negotiations went. Part of her wanted to move forward with things.

She tried not to think about it. To focus on how good things were going with her and Kip. And it was great, when they were together, but they still hadn't talked about their future. Okay, now her thoughts came full circle.

Thank god, they arrived at their destination. She found a place to park, somehow, and hiked the mile, or so it seemed, to the front doors. She handed over their tickets. It was close to game time already. She and Colton stopped and got hot dogs and sodas. On their way to their seats, they acknowledged several people they met over time. Most wives attended the last game.

Mandy smiled at the ice as she came out. Kip stood in front of the net. He lifted his stick hand in his usual acknowledgement to her. She waved back, but felt she had gotten lost in the sea of red. "Isn't this fun, Mom?" Colton beamed at her. He'd become quite the hockey fan, defending Kip and the whole team to older boys in his school. Then he became friends with the same boys when he said he knew the team and he spent time in the team locker room.

"It is, indeed." Ten minutes until the anthem would start, thirteen minutes or so until go time. She blew Kip a kiss with hope he would catch it.

### * * * *

Kip could see Mandy in the crowd from the ice. She disappeared occasionally in the crowd that engulfed the stadium, but she was close enough that he could wave to her. At least she made it before game time. He felt good tonight, strong, ready to play this game, then into the playoffs. He hadn't been on his game this year.

It hadn't been Mandy's fault, he'd been off all year. He chalked it up to a new team, but that made him nervous as his contract ran out and he didn't know if he would be able stay here. There had been no word from anyone which worried him. He had his agent with his feelers out there, but so far, not much news came back to him.

He stood with the team while the game opened with the Canadian National anthem.

The game slated to start, he headed for his territory. Goal. He acknowledged the starting line as they skated by him. The whistle blew, the puck dropped and the game was on.

Mandy was quiet about their future as well.

He dived left to stop a shot, ready for the rebound, he crouched. Another shot came, the whistle blew to stop the play. A new face-off occurred to his right. He watched it.

He couldn't really bring up where things were going as he had no idea which direction his life headed. And he didn't know-

He muttered a curse as he moved right to grab the puck in his glove. Players were all over in front of him, so he held it.

He didn't have a clue if Mandy would consider moving to Calgary. She seemed pretty settled in Red Deer, and Colton was happy there. She had her job secure. Would she uproot it all for him?

The play headed back the other way and he relaxed for the moment. Go, go, go Kyle, he cheered in his mind.

He purchased an engagement ring. A sapphire set with tiny diamonds. It was small. She'd appreciate it more than a large diamond. He bought the matching necklace at the same time, which he'd given her as a sort of anniversary present in April. But that ring in his drawer weighed on his mind. He really needed to get his head into the game before they scored on him due to distraction. He shook his head and turned his attention to the play.

Twenty, forty, sixty minutes went by in a flash. The game over. Another win for the team. Another win for him. One goal got by him during the second period, near the end.

The arena vibrated with cheers at the end of the game. He could see Colton and Mandy on their feet, cheering as well. She blew a kiss at him and he smiled. No one would say he had a swelled head, but he had a swelled heart instead. He was solid tonight, twenty-seven blocked shots. He wished he clinched the shut-out, but he couldn't change it now.

Kip got caught by the press on his way to the dressing room. A reporter wanted to talk to him about how he felt the game had gone. He spoke with them briefly, feeling antsy. He wanted to head to the dressing room, to celebrate with the team, then go home and celebrate in private with Mandy.

He had a flash as he walked down the hallway that filled with people congratulating him. He recalled winning some important game, he couldn't recall what the game was now.

At the end of the hall stood Mandy with a smile for him. She leaned against the wall as she tried not to stand out. And people barely noticed her as they bumped and pushed past her. She always stood out to him.

His dad got mad at him once. And in the middle of a fight, his dad demanded to know why he stayed with "the fat loser girl." It was the closest Kip ever came to hitting his father, or to walking out altogether.

"Don't ever speak about her like that again. She'll be the mother to your grandchildren someday."

His dad backed down from him. Everyone always wanted to know what he saw in Mandy. He once explained to her what intrigued him. Maybe she needed a reminder.

There he stood in the hallway after winning that big important game, and Mandy waited for him. He walked past everyone in the hall, ignored their shouts and congratulations. "Hey." His heart was in his throat. "I'm sorry, I'm sweaty." He couldn't get the words out.

"I don't care. You were amazing out there."

He felt the same flush heat his face. "Thank you. I was playing for you. It makes me so happy knowing you're out there."

"I'm always out there hoping for you."

He wrapped his arms around her, picked her up. He realized belatedly that he should have removed his mask first, so he could kiss her. "Then I'm always a winner."

The shout of his name broke him out of his flashback. It was Aleksander Lundin, the team's other goalie. Kip nearly groaned. He sat down intending to undress. A hot shower awaited him then into the arms of the most wonderful woman in the world.

"Yo?" He pulled his helmet through his sweat soaked hair. He looked at the twenty-four-year-old who stood in front of him.

"Good game man," Aleksander said, in his Scandinavian accent. Kip couldn't remember which country the kid came from.

"Thanks." What more could he say. The kid stood there, and Kip felt older by the minute. Did he want to go over every minute of the game with Kip? "Sit down. You're making me nervous."

"Nah, s'okay. You wanna get home to your girl, no?"

"No. I mean yes." Kip let out a chuckle at himself. "I do want to." He paused in the middle of his pad removal. "Thanks for the congrats. It does mean a lot to me."

Aleksander smiled at him a moment before his attention was drawn elsewhere. He received more congratulations from various people. Coach, general manager, two of the owners, he thought. The faces blurred as they passed.

He undressed, showered and put his clothes back on. The dressing room opened and Mandy and Colton arrived with the rest of the crowd. Family members, wives, girlfriends, couple of other kids, friends filtered in. He wrapped his arm around Mandy and lifted Colton.

"You were great," Colton shouted. In his ear. He winced a little.

"Thanks, dude. Thanks for coming out to watch."

Kip leaned over and kissed Mandy's cheek. "And thank you, too. I know you had to fly here."

"It's fine. I don't mind."

He pressed his face against her, to breathe the essence of Mandy. "I love you," he whispered.

"I heard that," Colton shouted. Ouch in the ear, Kip thought, about to set Colton on the floor. Then Corey came to the rescue and lifted Colton away.

"Did you see my goal?" Corey asked Colton while carrying him across the room.

"Hey, bring him back in a few minutes," Kip called after them. He pressed close to Mandy and spoke only for her, "I need to take this woman home and have my own celebration."

Mandy laughed and hugged him around his waist. "You were great tonight. Did you enjoy yourself?"

He shrugged. "Some. I dunno, the lack of word from anywhere is getting to me. I will have to demand it soon." He made a face at her.

Mandy sighed. Was she tired of hearing about it or was she hoping for good news for him? He couldn't talk to her now. They still had to drive home in their separate vehicles. He wanted to sigh too, but he would hide those worries from her. "I know. We're all on edge until something happens."

He patted her hips. "Let's not worry about it for now. Let's go home, hang out in the hot tub and make love in the king-sized bed that I paid a fortune for." It had become another part of their routine.

"It was all worth every penny. It's the only reason I'm still sleeping with you."

"Jeez. If I knew you'd be that easy."

They shared a laugh. "Well, that and the fact that you don't stop telling me how beautiful and sexy I am. That you don't stop telling me you love me."

"I do love you, and you are the sexiest woman I know." He received a pinch on the arm for that. He laughed. "The world. The world."

Kyle McLachlan and Doug Black walked up to them. Doug elbowed him the side. He was a defenseman who played in Calgary for six years now. "Hey stop smoozing with each other. Celebrate your win. I heard someone say you might start in the playoffs."

Kip shrugged. "Not something I can really control. Well, not entirely."

"You were so awesome out there tonight. You were the last few games you played," Kyle said.

"It's a team effort," Kip replied. He looked at Mandy, who looked at his team mates. "You guys do the work, really. Goalies get the blame."

"We know it's been hard for you, being the new guy," Doug said. "Been a long time since I was the new guy."

Kip nodded. "Well, you guys do your job out there and I'll do mine. Together, we turn it all into a win."

Kyle punched him in the shoulder. "See you around."

Kip reached out and punched him back. "Sure." He looked back at his girl. He liked the sound of that: 'his girl.' "Should we make our way out?"

Mandy disentangled herself from Kip. "You talk to whoever you need to. I'll go find Colton and ruin his night."

Kip grabbed her and kissed her again. "Love you."

### * * * *

After she watched Kip walk away, she tried to listen for Colton or Corey. She heard laughter across the room and followed it. She found Colton half surrounded by the players. Colton told them his latest group of jokes. Mandy rolled her eyes, grateful that her son got all this positive male attention. Young Corey, nicknamed in her mind for his young looks, he was close to the same age as her, had taken a shine to Colton.

Mandy elbowed him in the side. "Good game out there. That was a nice goal."

"Took a few shots, but I got the job done." Corey grinned. His good looks were made obvious by the wide smile that reached his eyes. She wished she had a single friend to set, perpetually single, Corey up with on a date.

"Indeed. You did well."

"I swear, Kip plays better when you are here. Would you consider traveling with the team?"

Mandy knitted her eyebrows together. "Full time? With you lot? God, no."

"What about moving here so you could see more games?"

"I'll take that under consideration."

Corey smiled wider, leaving Mandy to wonder if that was possible. "Go little Kippy."

Mandy shook her head. "Keep it on the down low, there, sporty."

"Come on, Cole here needs a little brother."

"Okay, time for me to go," Mandy said.

"Well, if you decide to leave Kip, you know where to find me. I have good genes." He looked at Colton with puppy eyes. "And I love your kid." The poor guy really did, and he would make a great dad. He couldn't seem to chase the right kind of girl. He went after the puck bunnies who only wanted to brag they nailed a hockey star.

"I'll get you to babysit some night then."

"Deal. Hey, it's the least I can for you guys. You're family now." They spent a lot of time together, especially since Corey had no family she knew of. Mandy felt part of this extended family now, too. Something she missed since Kip left, so many years ago.

"Hey, don't look sad."

"Sorry, I was thinking about how nice it is to be friends with you all." It had to be hard, too. It was nearly the same as a family, but on the flip side, players were traded all the time. Sometimes by choice, sometimes with little warning. Kip played on three different teams in his career, not counting his years in the minor league. She hugged Corey spontaneously.

He hugged her back briefly. "I can't hold you too long, Kip's already eyeing me."

"He knows better." Mandy pushed Corey's shoulder. "Don't take home any of those girls out there."

"It's been a few weeks y'know since I got laid." He mumbled it.

"You got nothin' on me." Mandy flashed a grin.

Corey tilted his head. "Yahuh, right. You can tell me that later."

He gave her a push and she hit solid human muscle. The arms around her tried to cushion the blow. She looked in to familiar eyes. "Hey babe."

"Is he giving you a hard time? Or stealing you away?"

"Neither." She forced a smile. She hoped the tears didn't show. "We were chatting."

"And, Colton, maybe you should charge these guys money for your comedy act," Kip said. He let go of Mandy and grabbed Colton's hood. "We gotta get going dude. Last joke." Her kid had become a side show. A much applauded one.

"Corey, I totally mean it. Don't do anything I wouldn't."

"I wouldn't do anyone you would, that doesn't leave me many options."

She gave him her best Mom warning look. Colton sidled up to him and glanced at his mom. "She means business, man."

Corey cracked up. "I'm not scared of her."

"You don't have to live with her." Everyone within earshot of those remarks laughed.

"All right," Mandy said in mock anger. "Your show is oh-ver." She winked at Colton, who giggled followed by a yawn. "Definitely over."

Kip put his hand on Mandy's shoulder. "I'll walk you to your car."

She gave one last wave to her new friends, and realized for the first time how lucky Kip was to be in this tight-knit group.

The drive to Kip's house was quiet. Colton was tired as the excitement of the game and the after-party wore off for him. Kip arrived before them, not that it mattered as he gave Mandy a key in February.

He was on his cell phone outside when they parked. "Yeah, I want to stay in Calgary." He held up a hand at her. The call was important. Then he motioned her toward the house. "Tell them that, but don't look too eager. I still deserve to be paid the same as any other player."

Mandy couldn't hear as she got the bags out of her trunk. Colton jumped on one foot in the driveway. Mandy opened the door for him and took him to his room. She got him changed and tucked him into bed. He protested the imposed bedtime. "I wanna stay up. Talk to Kip about the game."

"You'll have time to do that tomorrow." Mandy pushed him to a prone position. "It's late, you need to get some sleep."

She put her bag in Kip's room then went back downstairs. He stood in his entryway, still on the phone. He sighed deeply. "Right, okay. Well, I need to know what's happening because I have a life outside the team to worry about. Call me tomorrow." He closed the phone and Mandy watched him hang his coat and put his shoes away in the closet.

As he climbed the stairs toward her, he looked tired. She hugged him. "You okay?"

"That was my agent. There's finally talk of my contract for coming years. But they want to see the playoffs before they talk long term." He sighed and kissed the top of her head.

"Do you want to eat something before bed?" She blinked up at him. What could she add to the contract stuff? It was messy and complicated and a thorn in the side of their relationship. Better for her stress level if she didn't think about it.

"I guess so. I'm sorry babe to take out the stress on you." He let go of her and went toward the kitchen.

They ate some fruit and crackers in relative silence for a while. "What were you and Corey discussing?"

"He said you play better when I'm around and he was teasing me about our relationship." She leaned forward on her elbows, playing with a cracker between her hands.

"You looked a little sad when I came over."

Right, she had been teared-up over the thoughts of family and the team. "I was thinking the team is a tight-knit little family, but with players being traded all the time. It must be hard."

He nodded. "Sometimes."

"I feel bad for the guy sometimes. He's got no family. He plays the joker, but he longs for something. I wish I knew someone to set him up with."

Kip rubbed her thigh. "You can't fix everyone." She'd become the team mom to some guys, Corey and Kyle for example. "He'll find his way." He squeezed her leg. "We did."

Mandy leaned over and nudged his body. "Life is a work in progress."

Kip threw the last piece of apple in his mouth. "What I think is that you and I should go take advantage of my soft bed." He stood.

Mandy stood beside him. "What I think is that you are a pretty amazing guy."

They went upstairs and closed the bedroom door. Kip turned on his new bedside lamps that Mandy had purchased a month ago. They did their bedtime routine and Mandy marveled at their familiarity. The same as it was many years ago. Or as if the situation were permanent. Still things felt transitory.

She stretched in bed. Kip kissed her mouth hard. "I thought you meant we'd take advantage by getting some sleep," she murmured against his mouth.

"I'd rather take advantage of you." He slid his hand down and squeezed her ample bottom. "There's something I've wanted to do to you."

Mandy hooked her leg over his, spreading herself for him. "Yeah? You wanna tell me or show me?"

He replied by pressing his mouth over hers, sliding his tongue inside her. Her body woke with a hum. He wiggled her little negligee off her body, leaving it tangled in the sheets. His hard body pressed against hers as he licked at her nipples. They turned to pebbles under his tongue.

He slid down further, spreading her wider. He licked at her slick heat until she panted with the sheets twisted around her. He came back and reached for the bedside table. They stopped using condoms a while ago when she went on the Pill.

He returned with a slick purple vibrator and a bottle of lubricant. Her body trembled in anticipation. He set the vibrator between them, and squeezed some lube on his hand. He rubbed it over his cock then slipped his hand between her legs, sliding two fingers into her soaking pussy.

A few thrusts left her begging for completion. He stopped before she came. His hand came out and he rubbed more lube on his fingers. His hand didn't stop at her pussy, he moved further back to her ass. With a finger he gently rubbed at the puckered hole. "You okay with this?" he asked.

"It's not the first time we've ever done this." Her words came out in spurts as he massaged.

"Are you okay with this?" he asked again with a flash in his eyes.

She nodded. "Yes." She closed her eyes and let out a groan as his finger slipped inside. "God, yes."

He fingered the tight spot. Her muscles tensed and relaxed around his finger, as her body adjusted itself. He inserted a second finger, making sure she was ready.

He leaned over her and whispered into ear. "Can I fuck your tight ass?"

"Yes please," she replied. Her body felt like a taut string ready to break. She turned over cradling his erection against her lower back. He moved her so his cock pressed against her ass. A mechanical hum filled the room. The vibrator, she recalled, as he reached around with one hand to press it against her clit.

She exploded in orgasm before he even entered her. He waited until the waves subsided then he pushed gently, slowly into her. Once he was inside he was still, giving them time to adjust to the sensations.

"Please," she whispered. She reached her free arm back to caress his arm. He pressed the vibe harder against her as he moved inside her.

He groaned behind her with each small movement. His mouth pressed into the back of her head as he took her. He muttered small encouragements. "God, you feel so amazing. So tight around me." Mandy closed her eyes and focused on the feelings in her body, the stretch his cock was creating, the hum of the vibrator moving through her body. She came so hard, she was sure she saw stars.

She heard him grunt behind her, the usual sign of his impending orgasm. She was certain she felt the physical force of his come hitting the inside of her body.

He pulled out of her, but held her close. He whispered into her ear, rocking her. "Fuck, you are amazing. I love you so much."

Mandy smiled and snuggled into his arms. "I love you too, darling. I always have and always will." Please ask me to stay. He merely kissed her, instead of reading her thoughts. "I have to get cleaned up." She exited the bed.

When she came back she found he had already fallen asleep. She shut off the lights and crawled in beside him. He immediately moved his body against hers, holding her close. She closed her eyes and pressed her head to his chest, matching his breathing pattern. She could stay here forever if he only asked.

Chapter 12

Kip lay dead asleep when the first phone call came in. The first round of play-offs finished. They won enough games to move on. He hadn't been starting goalie as suggested. In fact, Lundin remained on such a hot streak, Kip hadn't played a single game.

He grabbed his cell phone off his dresser. The sun rose just over the horizon. He squinted at the bright display of his phone, frantic that something happened to Mandy. His heart slowed when he read his agent's name on the tiny screen. He opened the phone and hit the answer button.

"Hello?" He rubbed his face, trying to figure out if he was home or in a hotel. Home. He would be headed for Mandy's in a few hours. It was a day off in the middle of the week.

"Did something happen to Lundin at practice? I heard he got hurt."

Kip blinked. Aleksander Lundin injured? Not as far as he knew. But Kip hadn't seen him after practice. "I don't know," Kip tried not to snap. It was too early for him to deal with rumors. "He was fine when I saw him yesterday." Fuck, he wouldn't be thrown in front of the playoff bus would he? He threw the covers back and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Well, it's what I heard this morning."

"I'm not even up yet. Do you ever sleep?"

"Sure, sometimes. It's cut throat, Turner. I am up at 3 AM to see what went on the night before. Usually I go to bed around noon, no one has meetings in the afternoon."

Kip shook his head as he went downstairs in his large empty house. He missed Mandy and Colton. Ghosts of their presence haunted him, many memories and he swore he saw them once when he turned too fast in the dim kitchen light of the morning. He started his coffeemaker while he listened to Martin yammer in his ear.

"Look, I don't know," Kip finally said. "Why don't you do what I give you money to do and find out?"

Martin was silent for a moment, stunned that always-polite Kip would snap at him. "All right. I will talk to you when I find out more."

Kip closed his phone and set it on the counter, glaring at it. Fuck. He looked at the time on the clock on the wall, the one Mandy insisted he buy. He rubbed his hand over his face. It was 6:35. He grabbed his cell phone again and dialed.

She answered on the third ring. "Good morning, darling. To what do I owe this occasion?" She sounded chipper and he almost regretted calling her when he felt upset.

"Martin woke me with the news that Aleksander might be hurt. After I snapped at him, I missed you. How is your morning going?"

"Fine. The phone scared me a little. My heart works fine by the way. I'm missing you too. So what's the news on little Aleksander?"

He smirked at the term 'little', the man was 6'5". "I don't know. Martin heard rumors and thought something happened at practice."

"Guess not. You excited? Worried about it?"

"Neither. I don't believe it."

"Well, keep me informed. Text me or whatnot if anything happens okay?"

"I will. Tell me about your day today."

He poured himself a coffee and sat at the dining room table. He closed his eyes, sipped the hot brew and listened to her talk passionately about her job. It was what drew him to her originally. He held back a sigh. They lived only an hour apart, but it seemed like an ocean sometimes.

When Colton woke, Kip spoke to him for a moment then they had to get ready for school, for their lives far from him.

For fuck's sake, what was with his defeatist attitude this morning? He started up the stairs when the phone rang again. Martin. Again. With a deep sigh, he answered. "I hope it's good news. No news is usually good news."

Martin was silent for a moment. "I will think long and hard before waking you in the early morning again."

"It's not you. I'm tired in general. I can't wait for the playoffs to finish."

"Woman trouble," Martin said. What the hell did he know? Wasn't he on his third wife? Second? "Anyway, Lundin is injured. He, well, he was running down the stairs in his house and he twisted his ankle." No way. Things like that never really happened. "No word. You'll probably hear at practice tonight what it means for you."

"Day off. I'm going to Red Deer."

"Go find out first. Right, so. You're up at the plate. Make some magic happen and you can get any contract you want."

Easier said than done, Kip thought with a scowl. He began to dislike his agent. "Right. Well, thanks for letting me know. I'll hear from someone on the team today."

"Very likely. Have a good day, Kip. We'll chat by the weekend." No doubt.

Kip found himself with an empty phone line. He closed his phone, still shocked. He headed upstairs to shower, then tuned into TSN to check the news.

With one ear listening to the television, waiting for news, he texted Mandy what he knew. He watched the sports channel for the rest of the morning while he did laundry.

He talked to the team's general manager, who said they would get Kip some extra coaching time. They were calling up a kid from the minors as a backup for him, but basically, the playoffs were on his shoulders.

Fuck. He packed his bag and headed for Mandy's, thankful to get away. By the time he arrived, his body was so tense, he used his arms to pull himself from the car. Life shifted again and it seemed his future rested on his ability to stop a three-inch black rubber disc.

### * * * *

Mandy stretched on Kip's bed alone. Kip was due back in the middle of the night after the sixth game of the Conference Finals. They'd pull it through. He pulled them through two other rounds. Mandy had no idea where he found everything he showed during the playoffs.

He was exhausted from extra practices, getting in better shape. His body somehow more toned. The thought of running her tongue all over him made her shiver. She moved restlessly under his blankets.

Their future could wait. She told him as much after the second round. He couldn't afford to focus on her. He needed to focus on the game. He stood close to the ultimate goal of his career, The Stanley Cup.

She was as excited and exhausted as the team. She looked at her open book on her lap, but found herself unable to look at the lesson she was supposed to be planning.

He was supposed to call before he got on the plane. She stared at her cell phone, willing it to ring so she could try to get some sleep.

She checked her watch. Waiting for the phone to ring was an exercise in frustration that sh worked on for the past twenty-six minutes since she put Colton and Mark to bed. Tomorrow they headed on a big zoo trip planned by Kip, Corey, and the other guys with kids.

She jumped as the phone rang beside her. She grabbed it on the second ring, hoping it wouldn't wake the boys. Their faces showed in the doorway as she said, "Hello?" Shaking her head, she motioned them into the room.

"Fucking-A. Can't believe the man won the game. The man fucking won it." It was Corey.

"Hey, kids in the room," she said, attempting to get him to tone it down. He sounded a little buzzed, so she wasn't sure it would happen. "Yeah, we watched. He was amazing."

"Sorry." Corey sounded like a school boy after being chastised. "Well, I stole his phone and called you. He's been all mooning over you, all night."

Before Mandy spoke she heard Kip. "Give me the fucking phone man."

"Hey, kids in the room," Corey mocked.

"Corey, I swear I am bigger than you." His attention turned to her. "Hey babe."

Mandy felt instant relief and joy course through her body. "Hi Kip. Congrats." She already talked to him since the win, but she had to say it again. They made it to the finals.

"You already said that." She heard some cheering in the background. "Some guys celebrated too much."

"I miss you." Colton tugged on her arm. "Hold on, Cole and Mark want to say hi." She held the phone out. "Quick, this is pricey."

"Hi Kip," they yelled.

She pressed the phone back against her ear. "I better let you go. I'll see you when you get here. Feel free to wake me."

"I won't, but thanks for the thought. I miss you too. I'll see you in the morning."

She made a smooching sound into the phone. Colton and Mark made barfing sounds.

"I love you."

"Love you too." He ended the phone call there, to the sound of ooohs from behind. Fucking Corey. She wished she could meet them at the airport, drive home with him. He wanted her to come on a trip with him, but the dates hadn't worked out yet.

She turned to the boys. "You are supposed to be sleeping."

"Aww, Mom. We wanted to talk to Kip," Colton said. Mark nodded.

"I know. But we have lots of stuff to do and you cannot go tomorrow if you are tired. So go to bed."

"Let's go," Mark said, his eyes wide.

"I wish we were going to Calaway." Colton moved toward the door.

"I know. I do too. But the guys are too tired for that stuff tomorrow. This summer," she emphasized.

Mark tugged on Colton's pajamas. "Come on." Colton followed reluctantly.

"You get to hang out with Kip and Corey tomorrow. So cheer up and get a good sleep." Colton flashed a smile at her and ran off. She wasn't sure who Colton idolized more.

She knew which she idolized more. She sighed and leaned back into the headboard, her attention refocused on her lesson plan.

Mandy felt as if she'd just fallen asleep when she heard the front door open. She blinked sleepily in the dark, listening. Shoes came off, coat was put away. She couldn't hear that part, only imagined it during the pause of noises. The slow, heavy footsteps on the stairs. His bag dropped inside the door of the bedroom. She turned over, unable to make her body sit up.

"Hey sweetie," she said, groggily, lifting a hand.

"Hey babe," he whispered. He bent over the bed and kissed her. "I'll be back."

She closed her eyes. A few minutes later he came back. She listened to his clothes drop on the floor. He paused, picked them up and put them in his hamper before crawling into bed next to her.

She moved into him, breathing his warm scent. "I'm so glad you are home," she said.

He wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad you were waiting for me," he said.

"You should have heard the sports guys talk about you. Like you're this wonder god person. It's strange to hear. I mean, you are amazing out there. But it's some kind of hero worship. And I thought, you're my Kip. It doesn't matter to me how you play out there. Just come home to me."

He smiled into her hair. "Long as you'll have me, babe."

"Okay, let's stop talking about us. You've got seven more games to play."

He sighed a little. "I know. The good news is Aleksander might be back soon."

Mandy yawned and snuggled closer. She felt her consciousness fading. "That's good." She patted him.

He rubbed her back a few times. And that was where she fell asleep.

### * * * *

"Why do you love me?" Mandy asked. It was a few weeks into their year of living together in Saskatoon. They laid in bed. He couldn't recall if she was naked at the time. Kip remembered the question, the worried look on her face.

"You are amazing. You are beautiful. You see yourself as the chubby, geeky girl. I see you as my beautiful girlfriend who supports me in everything. Who's also working her ass off for her dream."

She smiled, making her lovely face light-up. He brushed her hair back from her face. She dipped her head and he could see her faint blush. "You make me feel special."

"Good. You are special."

She kissed him then lay back. He let himself relax, stroking the soft skin of her shoulder and back. She must have been naked, his memory filled in details.

A moment later she rested her head on her hand, making her arm into a triangle. He admired the view as the blanket dipped below her breast. Then he met her eyes. "Why did you come looking for me at that lunch-hour? You weren't far behind me in that math class. You didn't need help."

He laughed, having been caught. "You are right." He forced his attention from that bare breast that taunted him for his attention. She noticed his gaze and pulled the blanket up. "Do you remember that essay you wrote for Mr. Bowen?" Her brows knitted together. "In eleventh. About your future plans."

She wiggled her cute little mouth and he couldn't help kissing it. "Oh right, I wrote about being a teacher."

"Yes, I skipped out of math because I was so bored. And I stopped to read those essays. And yours caught my eye and I was floored. Just shocked. You were so passionate about being a teacher. You wanted to do that more than anything. No one else wrote with that kind of conviction."

"Because of an essay I wrote in grade eleven?"

"Because of the life you had in that essay. I didn't feel that kind of passion for anything in my life. I enjoyed hockey, but hockey doesn't inspire others. Not as inspiring as your dream. I got a little panicked when I realized I had nothing else in my life I was good at. What would I do if hockey didn't pan out as a career?"

She smiled. "You'll make it. You are so great on the ice. It's like magic. This doesn't explain why you approached me in the library?"

"I wondered about you. I went back to class and the teacher called your name. And I thought, THAT shy girl is my Mandy? I couldn't believe it."

He paused for a few moments, letting the memory seep back in. "And?" she prompted, dying to know the rest.

"So I stared at you. You saw me staring at you. And you were gorgeous." She looked skeptical. "You were. Your face, your eyes. I only knew you were this shy, smart girl who had no friends. My friends made fun of you, girls I dated were mean to you. And I probably joined in. Not one of us had ever looked at you." God, he felt like shit admitting that to her. He followed the crowd.

"Why do you think I hid in the library? No one would tease me in there."

He sighed and pulled her close. "I'm sorry for those people who were mean to you. I hate to think that I was one. I went with the others."

"It's okay."

"It's not. But it's too late to change that now." He looked at her intently, feeling hot tears pressing against his eyes. He forced them back before she saw them. "So anyway, I planned to introduce myself to you after math class. But then someone else got to me first, and you disappeared."

"Why didn't you wait until next class?"

"I thought about it. Except when I looked at you, you panicked. I knew I couldn't be point blank, 'Hey, I like you. Let's hang out.' There had to be an angle. When I had a dentist appointment come up, I had my in."

"So you lied to me."

"You knew shortly into things that I wasn't dumb."

She grinned at him, tears in her eyes. "I can't believe I thought for a minute you were stupid."

He winked. "I'm crafty." He put his hands on her face to brush the tears away from her eyes. "Honestly, I didn't think I'd fall for you. I thought I'd get to know you a little, try to explain your passion, then we'd go our separate ways. Try to find that passion in myself."

"I remember being in utter shock that you even knew that I was in your math class. You were so self-assured, walking around school like you owned it."

"I was so freaked out about life as you were. I knew how to hide it. I had to hide it. In my house, weakness was punished."

She ran a hand through his hair. "Being a total hottie was in your favor."

He nuzzled her. "That helped. Would you be with me if I weren't a total hottie?" He raised an eyebrow with a quirk.

"If you were," she glanced down, "like me." She chose her words carefully, "Unatheletic, glasses, shy. Also, like you, smart, funny, yeah I'd love you anyway. It might make it easier to explain to myself."

"See, you can love me despite my shortcomings."

"Most people wouldn't take the time to take a second look at me. You did, I love you for that alone." She blushed again and pressed herself against him. She kissed him deeply, her fingers traveling over his skin. This conversation was obviously over.

Kip blinked his eyes open. The last part, the kissing and caressing weren't part of his memory. They were real. Mandy was here and she was real. And she was waking him with morning sex.

Okay, good grief, he shuddered deeply. She woke him with a blow job. He groaned. Sweet mother of pearl, he was the luckiest fucking man alive. Her tongue swirled around and around the head of his cock while her mouth moved across.

Okay, he couldn't take much of this in the morning. He felt tight enough to come at the drop of a hat, and she pushed every button he had. He tugged her hair slightly. "I can't," he stopped and cleared his throat. "I need to be buried deep inside you."

She hesitated a moment as she tried to decide if she should push him over the edge or if she should join in the fun. She stopped and slid up his body.

He wordlessly kissed her deeply, moved her underneath him. His head felt thick as groped clumsily between her legs to be sure she was ready before he jumped on her. She was slick, but he caressed her, until she gasped in his ear, her body jumped against his. He thrust into her.

He lifted his mouth to her ear. "Mandy." He breathed as he met her rhythm, their bodies joined in pleasurable harmony. "Mandy, you're so amazing. You hug my cock like ..." He groaned.

He lifted his body off hers, still thrusting. He covered a breast with one hand, palming it, until her nipple tightened beneath his fingers. He pinched the bud, rolling it between his fingers. The shudder that went through her body drove him over the edge. She gasped in his ear, as he came, buried deep inside her body.

When he recovered, he kissed her. "Did you ..." It was such an awkward question, even after all their time together. He hated asking. He hated not being able to read her body, that he admitted to being unaware.

She patted his arm, still panting for air. "I'm good, babe. Really good."

He realized rested his full weight on top of her and moved away. He kissed her cheek. "Good morning, by the way."

"Morning."

He stretched next to her. "What a fucking way to wake up. Thank you."

"I woke up feeling, well, horny."

He looked over at her. "I've been awake for a while. Not entirely. But I remembered when you asked me why I hunted you down back then."

She smiled in return. "I remember. It was the sweetest thing anyone could have told me."

"I'm glad you are a teacher. I'm sure your students love you. Like Colton loves you. Like I love you."

Mandy rolled over on her stomach and kissed him. Then she slid out of bed. "I will shower before I make breakfast."

"I'm going to get the coffee," he said. "If my legs will get me there."

He wrapped himself in his robe and went downstairs. Colton was playing video games already. Kip stuck his head into the living room. "Morning buddy."

Colton paused the game and went after Kip. "Hi Kip."

It was Saturday morning. Game four was tonight. The series stood at Calgary two, Rangers one. Kip played every freaking minute of the game. His body tense from the pressure of it. Not even the great sex that Mandy gave him helped.

Aleksander Lundin was back on the roster, but Kip hadn't given the team any reason to play the kid.

The only good news was from his agent, who said the team planned to keep him. If he kept up the performance, they would probably sign him for a good long time.

So not only the future of the Cup rested on his shoulders, the future of his relationship with Mandy rode on the outcome of how he could use his stick. Because he knew if he had to move, he' might say goodbye to her again.

### * * * *

Mandy took off a few days for the sixth game. The series sat Calgary three games over the Rangers with two wins. If Kip won tonight, they took the Cup. She was too tense for words, and she couldn't give her full attention to work. She hated to take the time off so near the end of the year, but she couldn't stand to be in the classroom knowing what went on with Kip.

The principal had no problems with her taking the day off as she rarely missed work. Kip told her he'd compensate her for missed wages since she was going off the books for the days. She wasn't worried about it. She was worried for him. He was so tense. She felt as if she walked on eggshells around him.

She worried for all the guys. Corey and Doug spent the day with them at the house, playing video games with Colton and Kip, to keep them distracted. But all the talk was of the game. They couldn't ignore the subject. If they weren't talking about it, they silently thought about it.

They had a short skate in the afternoon. Mandy and Colton went with them to watch. The air sparked as tons of people skipped work to watch the team practice. She was recognized by some media for her relationship with Kip. They wanted to ask her about her predictions. She didn't want to comment. She stated she was hopeful for the guys, but either way they'd be winners in her book.

Mandy had more than the game on her mind. She wondered about her future with Kip. Their future. She talked to Colton about it, about moving to Calgary to live with Kip.

He was a bit torn. He didn't want to leave his friends in Red Deer behind. But to live in the same house as Kip Turner, his hero, was too exciting for words. "Would Kip be my dad?" Colton asked.

Mandy shook her head. "Your dad will always be your dad. But Kip would be, he'd be your step-dad. He loves you like a son, okay. Don't ever doubt that."

"Yeah, but I never see my dad."

Mandy almost cried. She hugged her son tight. "We'll talk about it, okay." That satisfied him.

It also meant Colton was okay with it if a move happened. Kip remained so focused on hockey that there was no talk of their future. He said he received good news from his agent, that he'd likely be staying in Calgary, so they'd be close by. Being close by would not work much longer.

While the boys had been playing games, Mandy did Kip's laundry from the road. He insisted she leave it for his cleaning lady, or he would it after this was all over. She couldn't sit passive and wait.

That was how she found the ring. It matched the necklace he'd given her. She couldn't stop fiddling with it around her neck. Every time she touched her necklace, she feared Kip would notice and know she found the ring.

Was it an engagement ring? She wasn't sure. It wasn't a diamond. She was sure she'd once mentioned to him that she never wanted a diamond, that it was cliché. Which meant the colored gem could be an engagement ring. If it wasn't, surely he would have presented it to her by now. She pondered this as she paced the floor of the living room.

At two in the afternoon, a knock on the door interrupted the hum. Kip, in the middle of a racing game against Corey, barely glanced over his shoulder at Mandy. "Can you get that babe?"

Mandy rolled her eyes. "No problem." She skipped to the door, wondering who else would join them this afternoon. She stopped short in the middle of cheery, "Who's here now?" It was Kip's parents. They looked as shocked as she was, although Mandy was certain they were equally aware of the coinciding visit.

"Hi Mrs. Turner, Mr. Turner. How are you?" Mandy felt sixteen again, meeting his parents for the first time. It was nearly fourteen years since she saw them last. She held the door open to them.

"Mandy, dear. Good to see you," Dorie Turner said.

Mandy climbed the two steps to where she saw into the living room. "Kip, your parents are here," she said, tersely. She wasn't sure how his parents felt about the renewed relationship. She couldn't understand why she cared so much if they cared? Wasn't she too old to care?

"Oh right." He paused the game and jumped around the corner. "Hey guys. How was the trip?"

He pulled Mandy to his side.

Kip's father, Derek, recovered first. "It was a long drive. But we checked in to the hotel and here we are. How much time until game?"

Dorie turned to her husband, hands on hips. "Don't talk about it. You'll make him nervous. How's that a way to greet your son anyway?" She took the stairs to stand beside him.

"Hi Mom." Kip let go of Mandy to give the older woman a hug.

Mandy was unsure what to say as she stood there. Mandy shifted her weight as they stared at each other. Mandy realized Doug, Corey and Colton watched it unfold. "Come in," Mandy finally said. "Find a seat. These guys will move."

Dorie looked at Kip then Mandy. Kip smiled at Mandy. "Yeah come on. We're hanging out. This is Corey Porter and Doug Black. This is my mom, Dorie and dad, Derek."

The players shook hands with the parents as introductions were made. Corey remained respectful, which amused Mandy. Then Kip thrust her forward with his next words. "You remember Mandy."

"Of course, we do. Glad to see her. And Mandy I'll ..." All eyes were on Mandy. She looked for Colton, who hoped to go unnoticed on the sofa.

Mandy gestured to him. "This is my son, Colton. Colton, this is Dorie and Derek Turner, Kip's parents."

Colton raised his hand and mumbled, "Hello." Mandy wasn't sure whether she should force him to shake hands and say a proper hello or let it go. Kip saved her. "We're all taking it easy today." He pulled Mandy next to him as he moved to the sofa to sit next to Colton and put his arm around her.

"Until we head to the Dome," Corey put in. "Then it's nothing but business." He winked at Mandy who shook her head. "Tell us about what Kip was like as a kid? Mandy's filled us in on the teen years, but really, was he as much a smart ass as he is now?"

Chapter 13

Mandy sat next to Kip's parents at the game. She'd been on edge since their arrival at Kip's house. He raised his glove hand at her as he skated off the ice between the second and third.

She blew him a kiss in response. Colton jumped. The game had been tight, with New York ahead, two goals to one, at the end of forty minutes.

The minutes ticked by slowly. Doug tied the game with a goal. Kip stopped shot after shot. The crowd was deafening. Kyle scored his second of the game, which put Calgary ahead with only four minutes to go. The volume loud enough to shatter ear drums. She and Colton joined every Calgary fan in the building.

The ten-second countdown came. The crowd called out the numbers. Kip relaxed, as the puck stayed in the other end of the rink.

Unbelievably they had won. Kip thought there would be a riot as the crowd erupted in louder cheers and the team tackled him. Kip thought his heart might pound out of his chest. It didn't seem real, even as he held the Cup as a champion of the league. He'd been the best. He could relax. There would be a contract and he could propose to Mandy, move her to Calgary, and life would be perfect. His dream would be complete.

A blur of pictures and interviews followed the game. The congratulations were endless. His agent flashed in front of his eyes. "Hey, three teams have called asking about you."

"What?" Kip said, distracted by a hundred people all at once. This was a rather important conversation and he needed to focus, but someone called his name from across the dressing room.

"Uh yeah. San Jose and Vancouver and, uh, Nashville, I think. They're all asking. Free agent right?"

"No word from Calgary? From Todd?" Brett Todd was the Calgary general manager.

"Nothing yet. Did they say anything? Why you so bent on staying here? You've moved around more than once in your career."

"Personal reasons," Kip snapped back.

"Right, your high school sweetheart. Look, I'll see what I can find out. Congratulations on the win."

"Thanks." It didn't feel as if he'd won anything at the moment. He was supposed to be celebrating. Mandy managed to finally find him and he'd better put his celebration face on because he didn't really want to explain the depressing news. He smiled and hugged her close. He kissed the top of her head. "I love you.," He looked into her eyes, needing her grounding energy next to him. It was all too much for one night.

Brett Todd came around later. He congratulated Kip on the win. They shook hands energetically. "I won't forget what you've done for the club. And I won't leave you out in the cold on it," was all Todd said.

The man moved on before Kip could ask what he meant by his words. It left Kip feeling as if he were left in the cold. His attention was drawn by something else and he forgot it for the moment

It was late when they headed home. Colton was asleep and Kip carried him out to the truck, although he felt tired enough to drop. Mandy sleepily climbed into the passenger seat. Kip rested his head on the steering wheel. "I feel completely spent. At the same time, like I won't sleep for a week."

"I can't believe you did it," Mandy said, not for the first time.

Kip looked at her intently. His eyes shining. "You deserve the moon right now."

She leaned over and kissed him. "All I want is you, babe."

"Let me take you home. Give you something special."

"Do you think you have the energy left?"

"We won the Ultimate Hockey Prize. I feel as if I could go forever."

Once they had gotten home, Mandy went to brush her teeth. Kip laid his head on the soft pillows of his bed. The light on above the bed would surely keep him awake, he thought as his struggled to keep his eyes open. He gave in to the feeling and let them close. He didn't hear Mandy come out of the bathroom and laugh when she found him fast asleep.

### * * * *

Kip didn't figure out what Todd meant until a week after that final winning game. That's when contract negotiations with Calgary began. This meant a lot of conference calls, meetings, and thought about his future. It seemed to stretch on for months.

He'd gone out for supper and drinks with his agent after signing the five-year deal. They'd negotiated for the whole two weeks. He'd barely seen Mandy in that time, barely talked to her. He'd spent the weekends at her townhouse, but he felt stressed about his absence.

The deal done now, a great weight lifted off his shoulders. He sat in his truck outside his house and called Mandy to tell her. "Congrats," she answered the phone in a dull tone.

"About what?" he asked, surprised.

"The deal. I heard about it on the news at supper."

For fuck's sake, was there nothing sacred in his life. Not anymore. After playing professionally for seven years, he'd suddenly shown skill he didn't even know he had. He was interviewed, talked about, and photographed.

"Well, I was calling to tell you that I'm here for a while." He'd taken less money for the much talked about, no trade clause. He didn't want to leave the city. If he did, Mandy would leave and he wasn't letting her go again. "Near you."

Later he decided that to be a mistake, because Mandy unloaded all her recent thoughts onto him. "I don't want to be nearby, Kip. I want to be with you. I know you've been thinking about it. I haven't talked to you about this stuff because of hockey. Stupid freaking hockey is coming between us again. And you know what, I've waited twelve years for you to come back and I'm tired of waiting. Maybe it's too much time."

She stopped to blow her nose in the background and he prepared to wait. He wanted to hear all the stuff he forced her to keep in. She didn't carry on, she cried silently. He shouldn't be here while they had this conversation, he should be beside her. "Tell me the rest," he prompted softly. More sniffles. "I'll wait."

He remained silent as he got out of his truck and went into the house. He was taking off his shoes when she spoke again. "I've been so damned afraid that I would lose you again. I'm tired of waiting for things to be perfect before we move forward." She blew out a deep breath of air.

"What do you mean perfect?"

"I let go of a lot of my expectations. With Colton and his dad and you and everything. I had this vision of how I wanted my life to be and it was perfect and I wanted you to conform to that. I think that's why we let go in the first place, why I let go."

"We," he said softly. "I was as much at fault."

"We wanted things to be the way we'd dreamed. And that wouldn't happen. We were stupid kids. What did we know about life?" Mandy sniffled into the phone, obviously crying now.

"Right, that's what I'm saying." He was frustrated with her grudge. She'd been holding these things in for months now and he'd been letting her put off the inevitable discussion. He'd needed to focus on hockey, which had been the wrong choice, and now he faced a bleak future once more.

"Anyway, things aren't ever going to be perfect, Kip. You are a hockey player. Half your career is road games and I can't travel with you. I only want to be with you. But you, it seems as if you want things to be perfect before you ask me to spend our lives together. And I can't wait for it anymore."

Wait? She didn't have to wait any longer. He planned to ask her that this weekend. He wouldn't ask her over the phone. This was supposed to be a celebration. Before he could say anything, Mandy spoke again. "Maybe I need some space. I'll talk to you in a few days." She hung up the phone after those words.

Kip closed it slowly, mechanically. He stared at the phone for a while, his mouth hanging open.

Eventually he got up and ran himself a hot bath in the jet tub, letting it pound into his tense muscles.

A terrible guilt settled into him. He'd been so focused on his game, on playing well, on training, that he hadn't been giving her the attention. He shouldn't have put his needs first. He should have talked to her about the future. He shouldn't have listened to her when she said that they would talk after it was all over.

He should have been on top of the world after being the winning goalie of the team that won The Stanley Cup. He had a five-year, multimillion dollar deal. But he would lose everything if he lost Mandy.

As he ran through everything of the past two months of the series and Mandy, he realized the guilt went deeper.

He walked away from her twelve years ago. It had been a bad cloud over their heads about that for the past four months. The original agreement had been that he would go and they would maintain a relationship, long distance, and he'd come home to her when he could. He'd known that her plan all along was to let him go. And he'd let it happen. He'd let her push him away.

She pushed him away again.

Had she done it because of fear or love? He tried to remember what happened between them. But she refused to talk about her decisions.

So he'd gone to play hockey because it was what she wanted him to do and what his father wanted him to do. Kip himself did really love the game. He'd gone more because of their desires than his wants.

He probably would have stayed with her if he'd made the decision. Found an alternate career. Instead, he'd let others run his life.

It was far past the time to let others run his life. He waited far too long to have Mandy and he wouldn't let her slip away again. Even if she thought she was doing what was best for them.

No, it wasn't time to sit back. It was time for action. He'd taken the challenge thrown to him by the league or the universe at large and he'd come up victorious. He had to have a decent plan. A plan to suck up to Mandy and show her how wrong he'd been.

He relaxed into the jets. A plan formed in his mind already.

### * * * *

Mandy snapped up the phone when it rang, hoping it was Kip. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since she'd asked for space, but she was desperate to talk to him. Praying she hadn't pushed him away she sat at the kitchen table. "Hello?" her voice was breathy, full of fear and hope.

"Hello Mandy."

Mandy closed her eyes, a sinking feeling filling her gut. Eric fucking Tressor. What the hell did he want at 7:23 PM on a Wednesday? He only called on Saturdays and the rare Friday. "Hello, Eric."

"You sound less than thrilled to hear from me."

She cleared her throat, trying to be at least civil to her child's father. "I was expecting someone else."

"Yer fancy hockey man?" His voice full of spite, she'd never heard. "How did you pull of that kind of rich boy?"

Mandy took a deep breath so she would remain civil. "Are you calling to talk to Colton?"

"I was thinking I haven't seen the kid in a while."

The kid? "Colton is your son, Eric," Mandy hissed. Thankfully Colton was in the bathtub at the moment. "Something which you might have forgotten. You can talk to him, but I need to tell you something."

Eric interrupted before she could inform him of Kip's influence on Colton's life. "You are right. He is my kid. He should be coming here to visit me."

Mandy scoffed. "You haven't seen him in eight months, Eric. He wont jump on a plane because you suddenly have the urge."

"You might have to if I take you to court over it."

"Go ahead, Eric. I'd love to tell a judge how great a father you are." Damn it, she cursed herself. This headed in a direction she didn't want to be a part of. She swore she'd keep civil with Eric, which granted, was made easier by his lack of involvement in her and Colton's lives. She took a deep breath and gave civility another try.

"Just wanted to let you know I know about your rich hockey player. And to warn you that you won't take my son from me."

Mandy closed her eyes. When had she tried to keep Colton from Eric? It was Eric who had divorced himself from Colton. "I would never want to keep him from you. Anytime you want to visit Colton, he's here. If you want Colton to visit you, we'll have to discuss that." With her lawyer present. "Just know that Colton likes Kip. And Kip has been a good influence on Colton. Try not to get jealous. Remember you've been the one staying away from us. You chose to move to Edson."

She heard Eric's intake of breath, but sprang forward to nip any disparaging remarks in the bud. "Don't," she warned, "say anything you'll regret. I already have. I apologize for getting snippy. But Eric, I will fight for what I think is right for Colton. Do you want to talk to him?"

That had taken the wind of out Eric's sails. He backed down from whatever he had planned to call her about. "No. I'll call him on Friday."

"I won't tell him you called tonight. It'll only disappoint him." Mandy felt her heart break as Eric hung up the phone. She couldn't understand his lack of a relationship with Colton. Her son certainly didn't deserve it.

In her fantasies, she was married to Kip, who was Colton's father. Eric disappeared and Kip had happily taken over, down to the "daddy" name tag, even helping at school. In that fantasy, she was also pregnant, maybe a girl, though a boy would be fine, too. But these were thoughts which she didn't allow very often

That was the old "perfect" imagined life. She would have face reality, that Colton would visit his father occasionally. It could be a good reality.

Jeez, she had no idea if Kip wanted children. In their first relationship, they'd been too young to really consider such things. Sometimes Kip would jokingly talk about their little girl or about teaching "his" little boy to play hockey. But twelve years may have changed his mind.

Shit, she hadn't considered that. Maybe Colton was what held Kip back from asking her to move in. Maybe Kip wasn't sure if he wanted to be a step-father. He seemed so at ease with Colton, but spending time on the weekends wasn't the same as parenting full-time. Not that Kip really would be a full-time parent with all his time on the road.

Mandy was glad when Colton came out from his bath. She welcomed the distraction from her errant thoughts. She pulled Colton into a hug and kissed his temple. He resisted the attention. "Mo-om, don't."

"It's my right as your mother."

He groaned, but relaxed in her arms. Mandy let go of her grip on his small body. She looked at him, amazed at how much he'd grown already. He no longer looked like the baby she'd given birth to. "Was that Kip?"

"No." She hoped he would drop the subject. "Do you want snack while we do your reading?"

"Can I call Kip? I want to tell him about my science test." Kip helped him study.

Mandy flinched. She hadn't told Colton about her fight with Kip. How could she explain all that to him? She partially cursed herself for bringing Kip into their lives.

"Can I?" he asked again, his voice turning to a whine.

"If you use your regular voice. Yes you may call Kip."

"Will you dial?" He grabbed the cordless phone and held it out to her. "Please?"

She dialed Kip's number from speed dial and handed it to Colton. She watched his face carefully. "Hi Kip. It's Colton." He frowned a little. "No, Colton. Tressor. Kip, come on." He giggled into the phone. "Yeah, she's here." He turned to look at Mandy, who's somewhat traitorous heart leaped with anticipation. She tamped it down, not expecting anything. "She dialed the phone for me."

Colton covered the microphone of the telephone. "He says he doesn't want to talk to you tonight."

Mandy tried to shrug it off. "That's fine. I'll talk to him later." Inside she was hurt. She said she needed space. "Tell him what you called about, it's getting late."

Colton rolled his eyes while he listened to Kip talk. A slow smile crossed his face. "Yeah, that's okay."

Mandy stood and busied herself with fixing a healthy snack for Colton and her.

"Well, I called 'cause we got that science test back. About the water cycle, yeah. I got almost all the questions right. Well, two wrong. They were really hard questions. I dunno, I'll show it to you next time I see you. Cool. Thanks Kip. You sure you don't wanna-" He listened for a long time with a few nods and "Uh-uh's." Then, "Okay. Bye Kip."

Colton handed Mandy the phone. She looked at it for a long moment, considering putting it against her ear, longing for a small taste of Kip. She heard the beep consistent with the other party hanging up. Kip was gone. She could call him back, later.

No, she would get her head on straight again. She also had some marking work to catch up on. The end of the year was so close she could taste it. Most of her students had achieved their learning outcomes. The summer looked like a welcome break. An uncertain break, but a needed break, nonetheless.

She turned to an excited Colton to catch his wave of energy. But her heart remained heavy in her chest.

### * * * *

Kip dropped in on Corey the morning after the phone call with Colton. "Yo, man. What do I owe this honor? Come in." Corey leaned toward Kip. "Uh, do you mind if there's a chick in the kitchen?"

Kip rolled his eyes. "Is she dressed?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure." Corey looked over his shoulder as he tried to check.

And Mandy felt sorry for this guy. Kip felt like slapping him upside the head, or cheering for him. He wasn't sure which. Either way, the guy had the hottest women from the bar in his bed, most nights.

Not that it appealed to Kip. Hopefully before the next season he'd be a married man. Settled and saddled. Ball and chain.

He stopped short in the kitchen. A black haired girl, well sort of black hair, she had a lot of streaked colors, sat at Corey's table. Just because he was attached to Mandy did not mean he didn't have eyes in his head or a brain in his body. He wasn't sure where the blood had gone. Kip lifted a hand in greeting to the beauty. "Hi."

"Hi." The girl tossed her hair over her shoulder. She had a bowl of some multicolored, sugar filled children's cereal in front of her. Leave it to Porter.

He turned to Corey. "Got any coffee?"

"Yeah sure. I'll make us some. We kinda just got up." Corey looked sheepish.

"I'm sorry. I should have called first. It's an emergency."

"Mandy okay?"

Kip filled him in on the story thus far and his plans. "So I need to surprise her. Something big. A slap upside her head, you know. A romantic precursor to proposing."

The girl at the table looked interested. "Calling it a slap upside the head isn't real romantic," she added dryly.

"Right. See, I came to the right place then," Kip said. He pushed Corey away while he gaped at the girl. "Let me make the damned coffee. Go finish your Lucky Charms."

"Fruit-O's," Corey said, pouting.

Once Kip had the coffee brewing, he went around to the table. He held out his hand to the girl, "Kip Turner."

"The goalie." She looked impressed. At least Kip hoped that was it.

"Exactly."

She took his hand and shook it. "Abby." She removed her hand quickly, glanced at Corey then returned to her cereal eating. Oh, the poor girl, she had a crush on Corey, who probably saw her as nothing more than the one-night stand she was intended to be.

Kip looked at Corey. Maybe he was the soul to be pitied here. He decided to ignore that aspect for now. He had a woman to woo and little time to make it a surprise. He'd said too much to Colton last night already. Kip went back to the kitchen and looked for some mugs. "Anyone want a cup?"

Corey and Abby met eyes for a moment. They looked away quickly. Interesting. "Please," Corey said.

"Yes, please," the girl said. Kip almost laughed. They acted like a couple of teenagers. He managed to hold back as he delivered the steaming mugs.

Kip sat at the table. "Anyway, everything else aside, any tips on how to get the girl of my dreams?"

"A big present?"

Kip dug in his pocket. "I have this ring." He threw it on the table. Abby glanced at it, letting the case snap shut. "Bigger. Diamond, too. And you should take roses."

"Bigger ring?" On Mandy, he considered it. Well, he could get her one. If she insisted he could always take it back. Abby nodded emphatically. "Okay, bigger ring. And roses."

"Lots of roses," she intoned. Corey squirmed in his seat, uncomfortable with the subject.

"Anything else women want?"

"Tell me about her. What's she like?"

"She's a single mom. She was my high school sweetheart."

Abby wrapped her hands around her mug and leaned back in her chair. She settled in like it would be a long uphill haul. "Well, hell. You should know everything about her. What's taken you so long to propose?"

"That is a long story. Maybe I should offer to retire for her."

Corey looked panicked. "You signed a five-year deal, man."

Kip laughed. "I'm joking. Mandy wouldn't ask me to quit. She'd walk away from me. Again."

"I gotta pee." Abby giggled and skipped away from the table. Kip and Corey took advantage of her departure to admire her tight backside. She had nothing on Mandy's sweet curves, but he could look, damn it.

"So you done pumping my one night stand for information so I can take her, uh, home?" Corey smiled weakly.

Kip laughed. "She offered. Is it bothering you?"

"For Mandy, I'd do anything," Corey said. "Honestly. Trust me, you die tomorrow, I'm asking her out after the funeral."

"I don't doubt anything." Kip leaned back in his chair to take a sip of the coffee. The lightbulb went on over his head. He straightened, which caused him to slosh his coffee over the side of his cup. "Shit. Shit." He set the mug down and wiped his hands on his pants.

"What?" Abby bounded back in the room.

"I spilled my coffee after I had an idea. I gotta go and do some shopping." He stood quickly. "Thank you both."

Corey looked at him pleadingly. Begging with his eyes. Kip was tempted to leave him alone. Let the dummy figure it out. He took pity on Corey instead. Kip dropped his shoulders. "Corey, I need you to come with me. Seriously."

Abby looked from Corey to Kip, who took pity on her as well. She obviously wasn't ready to leave. "Abby, you've been a great help. Do you need a ride somewhere?"

She looked as if she might cry. "Sure."

Chapter 14

Mandy's first class was a normal Friday class. During the second class, however, a student was called to the office. When Ginia returned she carefully held a rose, carefully with a note in the other hand.

I love you.

That was all. The note written by the school secretary, Donna Richerds. And Ginia couldn't say anything more about the rose. Just that Mrs. Richerds asked her to bring it.

Twenty-five minutes later, a knock on the door brought another flower from a student in a different class. Morning recess brought three more flowers from various students all with notes.

Donna Richerds refused to say anything about how she got the flowers and notes or where Kip was hiding. The principal was in a meeting in his office, so she couldn't demand to know from him. Mandy got a mug of tea and returned to her room. She arranged the notes on the desk in front of her. Each seemed a little more cryptic than the last.

### I love you

### I was wrong to let you make my decisions.

### I thought I was letting you live your life

### I'm letting go of the past.

### Will you grab the future with me?

His decisions? Since when had she made any of his decisions? Mandy wrapped her hands around her mug, as she reread the cards again.

The grade one teacher, Lori Scott came in. She stood in front of Mandy's desk. "You have a secret admirer?"

"He's no secret. Except, where they are hiding him in this school." Mandy leaned back in her chair and sighed.

Lori laughed. "The hockey player you've been seeing?"

"Hey, they won the Stanley Cup, you know."

"I'm single. I don't have to follow that stuff. You have a fight or something?"

"Well, somewhat. I was stressed and I snapped and told him I was tired of waiting."

"Scary ultimatum."

"Well, really, I was afraid he would leave anyway. If he had to leave, now was the time. Right? He's a hockey player. He might get traded."

Lori raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you are still scared. Look, he could get hit by a truck while he crosses the street next week. The next time he gets on a plane it could crash."

"So I should stop worrying about the what ifs and take what I have in front of me?"

"That's for you to decide. Remember life is fleeting, Mandy." Lori shook her finger at her as the bell rang. "He obviously loves you if he can convince Donna to disrupt classes to deliver you flowers and notes."

Mandy laughed. The students shouted in the halls as they came into the classroom. Most of her students were seated when another delivery occurred.

Field trip to the parking lot.

The note was on school paper and had the principal's signature, Henry Stewart, on the bottom. She held the note and stood. The children sat and the chatter ended. "Everyone inside shoes off. We are having a field trip to the parking lot."

Mandy shook her head. Her whole day was being disrupted.

"Why the parking lot?" students asked they filtered past her. They echoed her question. "I don't know. Get your shoes on and wait in the entry way." She followed the students to supervise while they got their shoes on, trying to minimize the pushing that usually occurred while twenty-three students tried to use a five foot square space.

Out in the parking lot, the office staff gathered around a newer green Civic. The same as her car, except this one had shiny paint and tires with tread left. Someone motioned to Mandy and her class. They walked over as a group.

Henry Stewart handed her a set of keys. "I was instructed to give these to you."

Mandy stared at the keys. "This is Kip's doing, right?" She was met by shrugs, and smiles. "I dunno what to say."

"Who's car Ms. Green?" one of her students asked.

"Uh, apparently, it's mine. I think my boyfriend gave it to me," she ventured. Someone pushed her to stand in front of the driver's door. The key fit the lock. She opened it.

"Get inside," someone said, which quickly turned to a chant. She climbed into the driver's seat. He'd stuck a note on the steering wheel.

Hope you like it. K

She was speechless. It had that new car smell, despite not being new. She ran her fingers over the seats and steering wheel, the grin on her face growing wider all the while.

She climbed out of the car. "This is really quite something. Thank you for it. But now you need to tell me where he is."

Henry shook his head. "Not yet, Ms. Green. I suspect there are more surprises to come today."

Mandy wanted to stomp her feet. If her class had been inside, she would have. Instead, she looked at them. "Field trip is over. Time to go back for math review."

Her students groaned and turned their reluctant feet back to the classroom. She locked the car door and closed it. She looked at the keys again, while she followed her students in as they chattered about who had given Ms. Green a car. Some of them were hockey fans and knew who Kip was. With all the excitement, Mandy wondered if she would get any work done the rest of the day.

At lunch, a grade five student came in and ushered her outside again. Someone had a picnic set on one of the tables outside. The student seated her, "Your waiter will be with you in a moment.". Lunch was chicken for two, but after a few minutes her stomach growled and she began to wonder if she would eat alone.

She heard the school doors open behind her and she turned to look. There he was, dressed in a suit. He kissed her cheek and sat across from her wordlessly.

Mandy sputtered on all the things she'd had to say this morning. What did the notes mean? Thank you for the car. What the hell is going on? You've disrupted my school. I love you.

Which thought should she start with? She wasn't sure. So she stared at him.

"How is your day going?" He unfolded a napkin and laid it on his lap "I apologize for the lack of wine." He gestured to the apple juice in a wineglass.

"Well, some asshole disrupted my day. But I got some lovely flowers and a beautiful car." She smiled at him. "Thank you for everything."

"I was told to do something big."

"By whom?"

"Corey's one-night stand."

Mandy sputtered on her drink. "What?"

Kip chuckled. "When Colton called, I decided I need to act, except I wasn't sure what. I knew I needed a plan. So I went to ask Corey."

"Corey? Seriously? That's who you went to for romantic advice?" Incredible.

Kip smiled. "Yes. And he had this girl with him. It was too funny to watch them together. But anyway, she told me to get you a bigger ring than the one I had. Which you've already seen, so here." He pushed a black box across the table.

"I thought this was an engagement ring."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a white box. "This is." He put it back in his pocket with a teasing grin. "I'm getting ahead of things. Eat your lunch. I've been working hard all morning, I'm starving."

"Where were you hiding all morning?"

"The principal's office. That's why he was in a meeting."

Mandy shook her head. "Sneaky." She reached out to him. He laced his fingers with hers. "I missed you."

"Me too."

"I didn't tell Colton about my little ultimatum. And I thought I might cry when you didn't want to talk to me."

"I'm sorry. I should have talked to you a little. But I didn't want to ruin the surprise. Which I nearly did by telling Colton I'd see him in a few days. And asking if I could marry you."

"What did he say?" Mandy was shocked. Both by Kip asking Colton and Colton not spilling the beans.

"He said it was okay with him."

Mandy picked up her plate and moved around the table. She refused to be apart from him when he was sitting to close. As she sat, she noticed a couple of teachers with their faces pressed against the glass. She waved at them. They waved back before walking away.

When she smiled at Kip, he bent and kissed her softly. "I like having you beside me."

"Well, good 'cause I'm staying. Now explain everything to me."

"Later. Eat." He kissed her again.

Mandy ate quickly. She wanted to get to the explanation and maybe even the ring. When Kip was done, the students cleared away the table. Kip stood and excused himself. "Forgot something inside." He took a light jog to the school.

He returned with another rose. Then he got down on one knee beside her. The tears sprang into her eyes instantly. He set the rose on her lap. "Mandy, I've loved you for one third of my life. I want to love you for the rest of it. Will you marry me?"

He pulled out the box from his pocket. She noticed his eyes were watery as well. He opened the box and Mandy thought she might fall off the bench. "Holy," she whispered. "Wow." The ring was set with the biggest diamond she'd ever seen.

"If you don't like it, we can take it back and you can choose something else," he said quickly.

She wasn't sure about that. But she felt wary of wearing such a large gem, it would be nerve wracking for her.

He prompted her. "Hey, I'm on my knees here."

Oh right, she hadn't answered his question. "Yes," she breathed. "Yes, yes, yes."

"I have to get up before I put the ring on you. Rings," he said, glancing at the black box. "My knee doth protest. Mainly because I had the bad luck to kneel on a rock."

Mandy was crying full out now. She wiped her face. He got up and sat on the bench. He took hold of her hand and slipped the ring on her finger. "It fits," he proclaimed.

He put the other one on her other ring finger. It was a little bigger than her finger. "I'll get it sized. If you like it."

She beamed at him through tears running down her face. "I like you. That's all that matters. You could have put a rock from the ground on the ring." She sniffled and wiped her face again. "Sorry. Are you going to kiss me?"

He struggled to hold back any emotional expression. "Of course." He pulled her against him and kissed her. The teachers that were at the door came out of it, clapping. Lori and Donna were among them.

Mandy relaxed into him. Her being tilted, but her world had righted itself again. This was where she belonged. This was who she had always loved.

### * * * *

Kip took Mandy and Colton out for supper to celebrate. He also hadn't finished asking questions either. But he would save the second part for after the meal.

"So," Mandy said, pointing her bread roll at him, "tell me how you hatched this plan."

"I was talking to Corey and Abby. I'll tell you that story later. And she was saying I needed to get you big things. A bigger ring for example."

"I liked the first ring fine," Mandy interjected.

Kip rolled his eyes. "I was sitting at Corey's table and it hit me, what you needed. A car." After he'd thought of it he'd felt guilty for letting her drive her ancient model to see him so many weekends during the cold winter months, with Colton in the back. He'd had fears of her being stranded on the side of the highway.

"So you got me this beautiful car." Mandy nearly refused to leave her new car to go into the restaurant.

"It's a really nice car," Colton added. "We should drive it really fast sometime."

Mandy gave Colton a look. He smiled, trying to be cute.

"Corey and I drove all over picking out the perfect car. Then we had to drive all over searching for a ring." He exaggerated a bit. Only a smidgen.

"Did Abby help with that too?"

"Who's Abby?" Colton asked.

"A friend of Corey's," Kip replied. "No, she did not. I gave her a ride home first."

"And you unleashed chaos in my school? How?"

"So I picked up the car last night. And got that all figured out. Then, I drove to Red Deer. Stopped in at the school office and begged the secretary to help me. Well, she's a big sap you know. She was totally willing and she convinced Henry to help as well."

"You're on a first name basis with my boss."

Former boss, Kip hoped, as she would be moving soon. At least, she had better have it planned. They'd get to that later.

"So after I told them my plan and they told me how great a teacher you are and how wonderful you are. As if I didn't know all that already. They gave me free rein. They got some students involved. It kind of escalated once the other teachers knew about it. Everyone wanted in. But I held it back. You know the rest."

"Did she cry?" Colton asked.

"Yes I cried," Mandy shot back.

Their meal arrived and talk was circumvented. Kip was glad. His stomach was even more twisted than when he proposed. Asking her to move in when the school year was out was far more dubious a question. He had no idea what she thought as usual. This time, however, he wouldn't let that stop him from asking.

They were eating their chocolate cake when he blurted it. "So when do you think you'll be ready to move to Calgary?" Not quite the confident request he planned, but it was out there.

Colton looked shocked, but it quickly turned to a smile. It apparently hadn't occurred to the kid that his mother marrying would mean they would live with Kip. "We get to move into your house?" he asked.

Kip dragged his gaze from Colton to Mandy. "That was the plan, right?"

She squirmed a little. "I was hoping. I didn't want to presume. Are you ready for an instant family?"

Kip relaxed in his chair. Thank goodness. He met Mandy's eyes for a long moment, then he looked at Colton, who eagerly ate his ice cream. "I want nothing more than for you two to move in. You sure you're okay with moving to the big city?" He felt a big warm bubble fill his chest. He thought he might burst.

"Well, it has to be right away. I need to look for a teaching job for the fall."

"You could stay home. I make enough to support you."

"I'd be so bored, Kip."

"It's bad enough when she's off in the summer," Colton said, around a mouthful.

"Swallow first," Mandy said automatically, her eyes still on Kip. He could see a slow burning heat in them. He shifted in his seat, feeling his pants grow tighter. Hopefully, after she moved in, he'd stop feeling as if he hadn't had sex in twelve years.

Mandy smiled knowingly. "We should get Colton home to bed."

"Aww mom," he said. But a warning look from the mom silenced his protests.

"Come on, I'll help you."

"All right." The kid wasn't thrilled, but he was more motivated to finish his dessert.

### * * * *

Mandy sat in the living room, watching television while Kip tucked Colton in. She heard Kip come behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. She turned and lifted her face for a kiss. She marvelled at the comfortable feeling between them, as if they'd been a family the entire time.

The same sexual heat remained between them, somewhat tempered by age and responsibilities. No, she wanted him as much now as when she was twenty.

More amazing to her, he wanted her as well. He couldn't seem to get enough at times. Perhaps because the times between their visits could be quite expansive. It might slow some once they were together for the summer.

"Colton wants to talk to you," Kip informed her.

She stood immediately, turning off her desire and switching to mom mode. "I'll be right back." She gave him the remote, not that he'd find much, it was only basic cable. He nodded and kissed her again.

Mandy wandered down the hall. She would have to sell her place. In a few weeks. she and Colton would be leaving their little house. She'd bought the townhouse four years ago, after scrimping for the down payment, and a little help from her parents.

She was a little sad about it and it must have showed on her face as she went into Colton's room and sat on the bed.

"What's wrong, Mom?" Colton asked.

"Oh, nothing, darling. I feel sad that we'll be leaving here."

"To live with Kip, right?" He looked a little worried.

She ruffled his hair. "Yes. I'll talk to Kip so we can decorate a room there for you and all that."

"And I'm taking my toys and stuff, right?"

Mandy stifled her laughter. "Yes, of course. Maybe a new bed. There's some stuff that will have to go. Geez, okay." She shook her hands. "You wanted to ask me something."

"Will Kip be my dad?"

"Colton, your dad will always be your dad."

She glimpsed a pained look on his face before he dropped his head. "Yeah, but he doesn't really love me. Or you."

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, he never visits. And I never visit him. Alison, this girl in my class she doesn't live with her dad, but she sees him in the summer and stuff."

Mandy felt a pang in her gut. Had she deprived Colton of his father? That would take some consideration. "Do you want to visit your dad? We could figure something out."

"I don't know. Does he want me to visit?"

"I don't know either. Do you want me to ask him?"

"Yeah," the reply was soft, tenuous.

Mandy pulled Colton into her arms. "I will talk to him. We'll figure something out, if that's what you want."

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?" She didn't want to let Colton go yet. She didn't know that Eric could handle it, but she would have to learn to let go sooner or later. She'd figure something out that worked for them all. But to have him pick up on that fear. Or to create his own...

"I thought maybe you'd think that I didn't want to be with you."

"Hey, Cole, honey. I love you and I don't want you to go. But you need to see your dad as well." He nodded in response, looking serious. "We will find a way to make it work."

"Okay."

"All right. Kip loves you too, but your dad is your dad. Anything else that worries you?"

Colton shook his head and crawled under his blankets. He pulled them to his chin. "I'm sleepy now."

Mandy kissed his forehead and smoothed his hair.

"Goodnight, Colton. You're a pretty cool kid." She headed for the door and was reaching for the light.

"Mom?"

"Yeah baby?"

"I'm glad you are getting married to Kip. Are you gonna have more kids?"

Mandy laughed. "I don't know. Do you mind?"

"Well, I dunno. Babies cry a lot. That girl Alison, she has a baby in her house and he wakes her up at night crying. At least he used to." Colton shrugged.

"You have your bedroom downstairs at Kip's. Then if we have a baby, we'll keep it upstairs and it won't wake you."

"All right. Then it's okay. I guess. Will I have to baby-sit?"

"Not yet. Goodnight Colton."

"Goodnight Mom."

Mandy turned the light off and returned to the living room. Kip was watching sports news, not surprisingly. "Do you have interests outside of sports?"

"I'm interested in you." He pulled her down beside him and wrapped his arm around her.

Mandy laughed. "That's good, because I was wondering what engagement sex was like."

Kip gave a little growl. "That sounds like something to check out all right. Can I ask what Colton asked? Or is that intruding?"

"Well, soon to be step-dad," she nudged him in the ribs, "he wanted to know if your his dad."

"Geez, that's a lot to spring on a guy on the night of his engagement."

"You're not. His dad is his dad. You're this cool guy, who will be mean sometimes and bring down the discipline."

"Right." He rubbed his chin. "There'll be a learning curve here."

"There will be. He also asked why he never sees his dad."

"Why doesn't he?"

"Eric never asks. Well, he did last week. That night Cole called you... Okay that was last night. Eric called earlier that night, threatened me that he'd sue for visitation if I thought we would take his son away. In six years since I left him, and four since he's been sober, he's visited Colton five times. He calls every week, he sends money, but he never visits. And when Colton was younger, he couldn't go there alone."

"I sense a but in there?"

"Colton is old enough. We will have to arrange something." She leaned against his solid chest, enjoying the sturdiness of not only his body, but also his character. "I don't trust Eric."

"Where does he live?"

"Edson. It's like five or six hours drive."

Kip nodded, turning back to the television. "Do you golf?"

"Golf?"

"I think there's a nice golf course in Edson. I'll have to check it out."

"You want to go to Edson to golf?"

"No, I want to take Colton to see his dad, and have you nearby at the same time. We'll have some vacation time. We go up there, let Colton visit his dad, see how you feel about it. If it works out, we go to the Hot Springs in Jasper and have a little adult time. If it doesn't, well, we take Colton and have a family trip to the Hot Springs."

Mandy teared up. Again. "You are amazing, Kip."

He smiled at her, running a hand across her sweater stretched across her ample breasts. "If I carry you to the bedroom now, is it considered engagement sex or hero worship?"

Mandy laughed, which quickly turned to a moan as he pressed his palm against her slowly hardening nipple. "If we combine it, maybe the results will be even better?"

Kip stood and swept her into his arms. She protested, "Don't hurt yourself."

He silenced her with a kiss as he carried her into her room. He lowered her onto the bed. "You weigh less than a feather," he murmured before his mouth covered hers again, his tongue swept through her mouth. He removed her glasses from her face and put them on her dresser.

She opened to him. She wasn't sure who removed whose clothes. But in short time her naked skin rubbed against his. His hands caressed her body, so capable, so easily turned her on, and brought her toward orgasm.

She held on to his shoulders, as he filled her completely. So close, as he slipped in and out of her, so close, she was desperate. His hand slipped between their bodies, his finger pressed against the sweet spot.

Her body went into convulsions around him. Her fingers gripped harder against him as she tried to get closer. Behind her closed eyes she saw fireworks.

She was so lost in that final climax, that she didn't notice his. Now, as the waves of pleasure ebbed, she realized his weight rested atop her, most pleasantly. She released her fingers from his shoulders, kissing his neck and cheek. His choppy breath slowed and evened out.

"I love you," she murmured into his skin.

"I love you too." He lifted his body off hers. He kissed her softly before rolling to the side of her double bed. He propped his head on his elbow and looked at her. He cupped her breast and brushed his thumb over the nipple.

Her body still throbbed and she hissed in response. He grinned. "Just so you know, I really hate how small your bed is."

"Sorry. I didn't buy it with the plan of sharing."

He laughed. His hand moved down her body and rested on her hip. "What I really meant is: Do you mind if I stick around here for a while? Like until you are ready to move?"

Mandy yawned. "Sorry." She smacked her hand over her mouth. "This all has worn me out."

"You're avoiding the question."

"I wasn't. You didn't give me a chance. Yes, you can stay. I'll call Monday morning and get this on the market. Colton wants to paint his new bedroom."

Kip laughed. "Boy, he does have a lot plans. My house will soon be your house. Which will be strange, but I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel at home. But Mandy?"

She looked into his concerned eyes. What else could there be?

"What if I get traded again? Would you come with me?"

"I won't let you go again. If you get traded, we'll figure it out. Together."

"All right." He softened and kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

Mandy smiled. "Lordisa, I haven't called my mother yet. What time is it?" She tried to squint at the clock, but couldn't read the numbers clearly.

"Watch," Kip reminded her. She laughed at herself. "It's, geez, 10 PM."

Mandy snorted. "We're really living it up, Turner."

"Well, I got up at six AM today. Bought a car, proposed," he tickled her belly, "had really amazing hero worship slash engagement sex. It was pretty great, by the way."

Mandy giggled, both at his tickle and the day's events. "Hey, I taught a bunch of nine-year-olds all day and I got engaged. And I have this great new car. I guess we have to take you to get your truck."

"I suppose. I'll have nothing to do all day, while you are at work."

"Oh you can be my slave. Cook, and clean. What do you do in the off-season regularly?"

"Travel. I go home for as long as I can stand it, about eight days. I've been to Europe and Cuba and Mexico-"

"Enough, enough," Mandy cut him off. "Have you really saved most of your paychecks then?"

"Yes. I take one vacation a summer. I've been playing in pro for nine years, six years I earned more than a million dollars. That's nine vacations max. In my younger days, I spent a lot of money on crap. This is the first time I've owned a house."

"It's a very nice house. I look forward to living there."

He grinned. "Thanks. You'll come in and redecorate the entire place, I'm sure. Take over the bathroom."

"Hey I would never-"

He cut her off with a kiss. "I'm joking. I can't wait until you come in and make your mark on my house, as you have on my life." He made a face. "That came out way cornier than it sounded in my head."

Mandy hugged him. "I love it. I love you." She moved in to kiss him and found a yawn overran her again. "We'll get your truck tomorrow. Maybe take a few things to your place, small things. Cole was most worried about his toys."

Kip laughed. "I'll have to finish the basement now, so he can have a playroom."

Mandy felt her heart swoon again. "Stop being so fucking wonderful. I can't take anymore."

"You'll have to figure out how, darling. I, like Jack Nicholson, want to be a better man for you."

"I don't think Jack Nicholson wants me."

"It's from his movie," he snapped his fingers, "As Good as It Gets."

"Right."

"Shut up and cuddle me so I can sleep. It's been crappy since you left."

Mandy snuggled in his arms. "Goodnight."

Epilogue

Kip climbed from the driver's seat of Mandy's new car. It was damn hot for mid July, even in as it neared supper time. He didn't bother to raise his sunglasses as he readjusted his pants. Seven hours in the car, listening to Colton's video games, arguing with Mandy on temperature in the car and choice of music, he'd never been so glad to arrive at his parents' house.

They were getting a hotel room, obviously. But the wedding would take place in the city where it had all began. Actually, they had planned to have it in the high school where they had met. It wasn't the most picturesque place to have it, but it seemed to fit, given all that happened.

His mom ran from the house. She hugged Kip then Mandy. "You made it. I'm so glad." She turned to Colton and grabbed him by the cheeks. "Colton. Welcome. Call me Dorie. The kids are all in the backyard." His sister's kids, Kip was glad he wore his sunglasses, since he rolled his eyes out of habit.

"We're glad to get out of the truck, Mrs. Turner," Mandy said.

"Mandy, you are thirty-years-old. And about to become my third daughter, call me Dorie. Please." The older lady still held on to Colton, who looked at Kip pleadingly.

"Ma, let me take Colton to the bathroom, then I'll introduce him to the brats. I mean the kids."

Dorie gave him a motherly chiding. Mandy wasn't as lucky, Kip thought as he walked away with Colton. Well, he couldn't rescue everyone.

"Let's get your bags inside," Dorie said.

"Mom, we staying in a hotel. You've got enough with Maggie's and that crew staying here. There's no room for us."

"Nonsense, we got a new futon this year and we can roll it into the living room. Lots of room."

Kip groaned and Colton looked at him. "Are we really staying here?"

Kip shook his head. "No. We're not. I promise."

Colton looked relieved.

He could hear his mother coming up the walk behind them. "Has Kip seen your dress?" He glanced over his shoulder to see Mandy having the sense to shake her head. He'd picked it out with her, but his mother didn't need to know.

Mandy gave him a pained look and he smiled back. "Mom, we can't stay long. We have to go see Mandy's parents today as well."

"Invite them for supper, Kip," Dorie Turner said. "Mandy, you invite them over."

Mandy waved her hands. "No, no. They have people with them as well. We'll slip over there for a bit. Say hi before we head back to the hotel room. The trip has been exhausting. We'll be here for almost ten days, there's plenty of time to visit with everyone."

Kip ushered Colton into the bathroom and closed the door. Five days until Mandy would marry him. Five days until all the pieces in his life would come together, finally. He'd proved his ability on the ice. And he'd gotten the girl. It had only taken fourteen years.

Five days later, he stood on the school grounds. They hadn't opted to marry in the school library, which Mandy had wanted. Thankfully it was being renovated this summer and made it impossible. It seemed like the least romantic place to have a wedding, well besides maybe a shopping mall. The school grounds were okay. Nothing special, and it had taken some maneuvering not to have all the outside sports stuff in the pictures.

He stood there, his heart in his throat, waiting for her to come down the aisle. To Kip's left, stood Corey and Doug. He watched as Colton came down the aisle carrying the ring on a pillow. Marie, his ten-year-old niece came next,spreading flower petals down the aisle. Sophia and Maggie, the bridesmaids dressed in purple, came next. Finally, Mandy, dressed in a simple gown.

She hadn't insisted on taking the diamond back, much to his surprise. It made getting the matching wedding band easy for him.

His voice shook a little as he spoke his vows. His hands shook as he attempted to put the ring on Mandy's finger. He felt overwhelmed by good fortune as he kissed her. He picked up Colton and held him for the cameras.

Mandy leaned in and whispered to the boy. "I hope you're ready to be a big brother, Cole."

What the hell? They stared at her.

"I know it's a cliché. To have a happily ever after complete with a baby, but I did the test the day before we left."

Kip snorted. He turned to the small crowd gathered before them. "Fourteen years it took me," he shouted, "but I finally got the girl."

Everyone laughed and clapped. He let Colton to the ground and wrapped his arms around Mandy, ready to move forward with her, while he had waited for so long for his life to begin.

Everything was perfect, even if it was only for this moment.

If you enjoyed this book please return to your website of purchase and leave a review.

If you enjoyed this book, and want more free books I am offering the second and third book in the Up in Flames series for free. You can sign up here and I will send you information on how to download them.

About the Author:

Asrai started writing romantic, erotic fiction as a young woman while she fantasized about all the boys who would never give her the time of day. When she finished her NaNoWriMo project of 2008, she decided to share it with the world- her first novel length fiction. She also writes short erotic fiction for her blog Smut and the Dirty Girl. She likes to watch her husband cheer on the Calgary Flames while she comes up with her next fantasy situation to turn her on.

You can find Asrai on social media

Friend me on Facebook

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AsraiDevin.com (short stories from the Up in Flames series)

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asraidevin@gmail.com I check periodically and try to respond.

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Other books

 Second Chance Romance Up in Flames Book

Kip Turner and Mandy Green

 Summer Fling Up in Flames Book 2

Kyle McLachlan and Serena Miller

 Complications over Coffee Up In Flames Book 3

Corery Porter and Nicole Clark

 Where the Path LeadsUp In Flames Short

Mandy& Kip, Ky & Serena, Corey & Nicole.

 Love Can't Wait Up In Flames Book 4

Amy Black and Scott Jones

 When Love Knocks Up In Flames Book 5

Sophia Clark and Doug Black

 Love by Design Up in Flames Book 6

Adam Johnson and Libby Theron

Unexpected Romance Up in Flames Book 7

Tonya Foster (Corey's little sister) and Chris Boyd

Can't Run From Love Up in Flames Book 8

Liz and Darren

 Unsuited Up in Flames Book 9

Monica (Darren's ex) and Ryan

 Love Worth the Wait Up in Flames Book 10

Eric and Maria

Stand Alones

Where She Belongs

Gabriel Brande and Shanna Whittikar

Shanna has almost perfect life in Toronto. She has a great job working with her perfect boyfriend and a five year plan to make it even better. Until she's called home because her dad had a heart attack. She comes face to face with her long-distance best friend, and long-time crush, Gabriel.

Gabe has loved Shanna since forever. He's certain he missed his opportunity with her five years ago when he turned her down. But when she comes to run her father's company with him for a few weeks while her father recovers, he believes maybe he has a second chance.

Can Gabe convince Shanna that she is meant to stay with him and run her father's company? Or will the lure of the big city and her boyfriend's name keep her away?

Love in The Wild

Aubrey "Bree" Diamond Thomas and Sam Hammond

Bree needs space from her hectic life as a pop star. Being stranded in the Canadian wilderness is a little more space than necessary. Lucky for her she finds a quaint B&B to relax at. She is astonished when she connects with the young son of her temporary accommodations. She's even more stunned when she connects with his single dad. She's only been there two days! She can't turn her world upside down for a man and his son she's known for less than a week. Can she?

Good Sisters Share

Ava and Justin and Cassie

Ava Greenwood is worried about her sister's marriage, there are more fighting noises and less happy noises coming down the hall. Ava is convinced this is the answer to all everyone's problems, including her own frustration with finding a decent partner.  
Justin loves his wife and children. His sister-in-law has offered to relieve his tension, but that's a terrible idea. Right?

It Was Always You

Selene and Ben

Ben and Selene's relationship is complicated. Related by marriage, family by choice and luck. They were more than friends, but less than lovers.

Selene was everything pure and good in the world. She was love and light. She was his best friend, his only friend. She was the one woman he couldn't have. So he kept his distance from her, but now he needed her.

When Ben showed up in her life again, Selene was hit with feelings she wasn't supposed to have. She wanted to memorize the angles of his face, travel the length of his body with her hands, get drunk with lust on his taste again. She wanted to do so many things with him that weren't allowed.

Now she's working for him and living with him. Can they keep their feelings hidden from each other? Or is their love too strong to resist?

Don't Count Out Love

Nell and Josh

Nell Langley needs a job so bad she'll take one from the big, bad wolf. Josh Sharpe doesn't look like a wolf, but she's dealt a predator before. And she is not sleeping with anyone she works for ever again. EVER AGAIN.

Josh doesn't accept no easily. Not when he knows the woman saying it doesn't mean it. Not when she submits so easily to his commands. Not when she's the only one he can trust in the office.

It's Complicated

Jake and Jessi

Jake Boyd has a successful real estate business, a beautiful wife, and the biggest house. Everything a man could want. Until his spoiled wife leaves him from his competitor. Then Jake's out for vengeance, and Jessi is the only one within his reach.

Twenty-four year old Jessi Taylor has been partying at her stepdad's expense for years. She's shocked when he shows up to drag her home to work for him. In hopes of him reinstating her allowance, she defies his demands. Only to find he's not giving in, he meant it when he said he'd spank her. It should infuriate her but it only arouses her, and she pushes boundaries searching for another taste of pain.

Jake finds his stepdaughter is intelligent, charming, and she could be the best salesperson he's seen. And spanking her brought his dead libido back to life. He should be counting the days until she's out of his house, but he only wants more of her. Can Jessi be his happily ever after or will his ex-wife ruin everything again?

Contains drug use, alcohol use, spanking and other elements of kink. This is a full romance.

Submit to His Passion

When Lindsay Dunn's husband leaves her for another woman, she is forced to the last place she wants to live, her hometown, Carburg. She'll keep to herself to avoid being the subject of gossip. Again.

Nick Matthews has spent most of his life searching for a family. Carburg adopted him as their own when he took a job teaching English in the local high school.

Lindsay was one of Nick's first students ten years ago, she's long past teenage crushes on sexy teachers. Beside, her stay is only temporary and sex is more trouble than it's worth.

Nick recognizes the passion lurking beneath Lindsay's cool demeanor. But is his love enough for her to let go of the past and embrace a future with him?

