We...
Are...
Human...
Friends...
We chill...
on Weekends...
Am I cool enough?
Well, that depends.
We...
Are...
Human...
Friends...
(Yawn)
Well, Lord Biscuit. It's the first morning
in our new home.
(Lord Biscuit squeals unintelligibly)
Yeah, you can say that again.
(Lord Biscuit squeals unintelligibly)
Have a great day, lil' buddy.
(Female Radio Announcer) Today will be spicy with a high of 87 degrees
Bad news: Infections have risen 120% since last week.
Worse news: Attacks take place at random
and most often while the victim is in a vehicle,
so the Disease Prevention Company has advised keeping windows up while driving or riding.
The mysterious nature of these attacks... (Audio fades away)
Hi, Uncle Doogans. What are you doing on this fine morning?
What does it look like?
I’m sharing this hot and delicious bean burrito with my best buddy, Edgar.
(Tedward) Oh, cool.
(Weird laughter form People on TV) Ha, ha, ha, ha...
(TV Announcer) It’s Fun to Laugh, a laugh out-loud fun fest
that’ll send you to the brink of death
from laughing so hard, beginning tonight.
Say, do you have any breakfast food?
All I got are bean burritos.
Speaking of which,
I’m gonna need 43 dollars a week for your share of Bean Burritos.
I buy in bulk.
Can I buy my own food and-
Why?
Sure. If there’s room in the…
Fridge,
Freezer,
and/or Pantry.
Gotta go, Buffalo.
Hey Tedward?
Can you keep the windows up in the car, please?
We don't want you to get infected.
(Tedward inner monologue) Aw...
Uncle Doogans sure is thorny on the outside, but inside, he’s custard cream candy.
He worries about me because he cares about me.
I'm worried about myself here.
(Tedward inner monologue) Oh.
(Coughing)
That's the sound of me coughing
because I was born with the lungs a 55-year-old man.
How is that...?
Yeah, and these windbags just turned 100.
I'm at high-risk. If you get infected, so will I.
Please keep the windows up.
I'll keep the windows up, Uncle Doogans.
You can count on me.
Only person I can count on is myself.
Only animal? Edgar here.
Best shoulder to cry on this side of the Mississippi.
OK well, I'm gonna go eat this burrito on the road.
See you- Ah!
It's your bean burrito! He's obsessed with the flavor!
Edgar, no! Edgar stop! Stop it, Edgar!
Ah, no! Ah! Egh! Ug!
Get the heck out of here!
Jar o' tap!
Oof!
To wash down the 'rito.
Thanks, Uncle Doogans.
It's my absolute pleasure!
(Nebby) Look, a young man walking to his car!
Say hi to me, sir! Say hi!
Come say hi to me!
(Mom) Crazy boy, leave him alone.
Say hi to me!
Oh!
Come talk to me! Talk to little Nebby!
OK Nebby, cut it out or no crispy nuggets for lunch,
just soggy rice in a broth of luke warm water.
("Beans" Upbeat Synth Music)
(Female laughter)
(Tedward inner monologue) She sounds so different...
(Laughter)
...So real...
(Downtempo Electronic Music starts)
OK, I’m leaving now, Mr. Peppercorn.
Listen boy, shut your stupid mouth and don’t forget to
smile when you deliver my World Famous Eel Pies.
Yes, Mr. Peppercorn.
There you go chattering again like a braindead parrot.
Less talking, more delivering my enriched eel pies,
simpleminded mule!
(Inner Monologue) Golly, how did that geezer
become so cruel?
I’m a nice normal guy, but he makes me furious.
Guess I have no choice but to take my rage out
on his innocent customers.
(Tire Screech)
You have a dumb face.
(Gasp)
You have a stupid head.
Genetics
You look like an owl.
Whooooooo me?
You look almost dead.
You're a mean young man.
I'm a jerk when I work!
You're a mean old teen.
When I work, I'm a jerk!
But I'm really...
a nice, normal guy...
who wishes he could cry...
who stares at sunny skies...
until it burns his eyes.
(Distorted) A nice, normal guy
Nice, normal guy
Nice, normal guy...
(Song fades)
(MONSTER) You can't see me, but I see you.
You can't see me...
(Cough)
You can't see me. I see you.
I see you, I see you, I see you...(echo)
Hey
Hey, you're late again.
Ouch!
(Goat Ringtone)
Sorry.
Hold on, I got a call.
Hello?
(Mr. Peppercorn) Hey fat face, you insult
my customers?
I should’ve known you’re as slippery as an Eel.
Because I know Eels - I kill them and
turn them in to delicious pies!
Your employment here has been terminated.
You pathetic nincompoop.
OK
(Inner Monologue)
Well Tedward, your temper got the best of you again.
But if I don’t take the anger out on Mr. Peppercorn’s
blameless, mostly elderly, customers, it just bottles up.
Uh…. guess I’ll have to work on it.
Earth to Tedward!
Oh, sorry.
Are we going or what?
Yeah!
Can't wait for you to meet my friends.
They're so chill.
Ew, it smells like wet garbage in here.
The sweet scent of eel, melady.
[Dub Reggae Music]
(Singer) Blowin' Bubbles
No more troubles
Blowin' bubbles
No more troubles
Blowin' bubbles
No more troubles
I can't see or breath.
C'mon man, not this again.
Dude, I'm dying, I can't see or breath.
You're not dying because I can smell your nasty breath.
Here ye go.
No! I don't sip.
Oh, ye don't sip?
Ruthy, c'mon don't-
No, it's gross.
Oh yeah, it's...
bad.
So, you don't like to party?
Tedward's not sipping either!
Ye, only because he's driving.
He sips all the time.
Blueberry bubbs?
Heh, ha, ha, heh, heh, hah, ha, ha, heh, heh, heh,
hah, he, heh.
No! I don't blow bubbles.
(Tedward inner monologue) Oh, what?!
(Futuristic Breakdance Music)
This music sucks.
(Inner Monologue) Oh, dang!
Hey, so you guys make a really nice couple.
Um... OK?
You're friends are so weird and annoying.
(Inner Monologue) Oh gosh, no!
(Sad music)
Oh, Tedward...
You're trying so hard, but it's just not good enough.
Karen, please...
(Laughing)
("Beans" Upbeat Synth Music)
(Laughing)
(Upbeat Synth Music)
(Dark Heartbeat Music)
(MONSTER MindSpeak) Hey Big Head, how can you see?
(Tedward MindSpeak) Dunno, but you're ugly!
(MONSTER) Mother always says I'm tall, dark and
and handsome.
She lies. Biased because she created you.
But she created everything including you.
That doesn't make any sense.
I have...
I had a mother...
(MONSTER) It makes the most sense of all
but you shouldn't be able to see or hear me.
That makes you dangerous.
I'm just a nice, normal guy.
Why are you attacking me?
(MONSTER) I'm just trying to make friends.
I already have friends.
Human Friends.
As long as that rapscallion lives,
our mission is in great peril.
(DARK SYNTH)
(Goat Ringtone)
Hello?
(Mr. Peppercorn) Tedward, James and Martha
got infected.
so yeah...
You want your old job back?
Yeah, I do. Would it be possible
to get employer provided health insurance?
When are you gonna learn?
Gig pigs always get the slop.
(Vintage video game noises)
(Fart Jump!)
Here, hot oil sauce makes them even better!
(Hot sauce glugging out of bottle)
Thanks, Uncle Doogans.
(Downtempo Synth Music)
(Downtempo Synth Music)
(Tedward) Go on, little Biscuit Head!
Be free!
Edgar, no!
(Lord Biscuit squealing)
("Beans" Laughter echoing in the night)
