 
## Savage Love

Jodi Woody

Copyright 2013 by Jodi Woody

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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# **Chapter 1**

# **Rough Road of Regrets**

Samantha drove along, trying to enjoy the scenery, when the same old unwelcome thought popped to the surface. Just what do you think you are doing? They had been on the road for less than a week, were currently driving through the mountains of Montana, and the same question had been plaguing her since her daughter, Seanna, talked her into this trip. Richard has only been gone for less than four months and you're out enjoying yourself! What would Richard say about his perfect wife now? He wouldn't say anything, because Richard never stuck up for himself...not once in our fifteen years of marriage. Samantha was a recently widowed, thirty-five year old on her first trip without her husband. She had buried him in March. Now she had just been to his Father's funeral in Washington and was on a cross country trip with her seventeen year old daughter. For the past couple of hours, her past had been rolling like waves in her mind, until she thought she might go crazy.

Samantha had been raised in a strict home by parents that did their very best, but were lacking in some areas of love and forgiveness. When she became pregnant during her senior year in high school, by her boyfriend from church, her parents had sent her away in shame to an all girls Christian School. Christian in name, only the atmosphere of the legalistic religious school was the final nail in the coffin of her faith. Samantha went on, in her strength alone, to keep her baby and finish high school. Her daughter Seanna had never met her birth father and Samantha had never received a penny. She had lost her family and the boy she thought she had loved all by one terrible mistake. One night of passion had changed her life forever. Seanna's birth certificate said "father unknown." She had not had the time or the heart to pursue a paternity test on her own. So she worked part time, lived in a small apartment and paid the little old lady next door to watch her little one while she worked and went to school.

In the past year, she had discovered more about her family and herself than she had in the past twenty years, starting with Richard. She was only nineteen when she had met Richard. He ran a small grocery store not far from the campus and he always commented on how cute little two-year-old Seanna was. Most days, when Samantha did her shopping, the little girl left with her pockets full of goodies. Richard was almost twice her age and was the friend she needed. Somehow, in their conversations, Samantha told her story and Richard never judged, but only showed concern and acceptance. Soon they were seeing each other outside of the store and were married within the year. He patiently convinced Samantha to go to church again, legally adopted her daughter, and raised her as his own. They had lived a simple life of church and family. Little by little she had regained her lost faith and her relationship with her heavenly Father. When Samantha earned her teaching degree, she even went to work at the small Christian school at their church.

He had been a good man, if not a good provider, and was ever patient and loving to Seanna. Yet, it didn't take long before Samantha realized that something just wasn't right, though she could never quite put her finger on the problem. It wasn't just that her husband was not attracted to her physically or that Richard lacked any type of passion. He had been a hard worker, continuing to run the small grocery. His big heart made him a sucker for every hard luck story. Yet he never stood up for himself and had trouble making even the smallest decisions. His passiveness in all things became almost more than she could bear. She had tried early in their marriage to talk to him about it but he had gotten so emotional and was so insecure that she just didn't have the heart to hurt him. After all, he had done so much for her and Seanna. So she put all of her time and energy into being the best wife and mother that she could.

Then after he had his heart attack, she found out their finances weren't what she'd thought. Richard had borrowed against the house to keep the store running. She had had to sell the store and use the life insurance money to get them out of debt and be able to keep their modest house in town. Shortly after, they had gotten a letter from his mother stating that Richard's father had passed and begging them to come. Samantha had felt compelled to go for the funeral. Everything crashed around her after that...but suddenly made sense. She had a heart to heart with her mother-in-law. His mother stated that she needed to know that Richard had forgiven them. She had then proceeded to tell the story of Richard's life before he moved to Wisconsin. Samantha finally understood why he had never wanted to visit his family and why they hadn't come to see him in Wisconsin.

In his early college years Richard had lived the lifestyle of a homosexual. His family had been devastated and had sent him to a counselor who specialized in lifestyle changes. He had broken off his relationship, packed up, and transferred to a new college in Wisconsin. He had begun going to church and started his life over, writing to his parents to let them know about the change. They couldn't get past his past and never returned a single letter, though Richard continued to write an occasional letter to let them know he was alive and well. Richard had never spoken of his past to anyone in his new life, not even his Pastor. Though he had never been comfortable with intimacy with his wife, he stayed faithful to her and his new found faith in God and never returned to his previous lifestyle. Samantha believed that even though he had given up the gay lifestyle, he had never been able to truly overcome his past.

If he would have confessed, I could have helped him, or at least he could have asked Pastor for help, thought Samantha. How our life would have been different if he would have just explained. Well...we all do the best we can, and he raised that beautiful young lady sitting next to you. Now stop all this negative thinking and let it go! You don't want to be a bitter old woman. Disgusted with her thoughts, she clicked on the radio and started flipping through the static trying to find something to occupy her mind.

She looked over at her daughter curled up in the passenger seat, leaning against the window. Seanna was a younger version of Samantha. They were both petite. Seanna was thinner and more muscular. She had a darker complexion and had dark brown curly hair, while Samantha's was a lighter brown and only wavy. Seanna got her coloring from her birth father who was tall, dark and handsome, while getting her looks from her mother. They both had green eyes with small flecks of gold. Samantha had lighter skin and some freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks. She was just about to wake Seanna up to keep her mind from the frantic roller coaster ride when the car lost all power. She pulled over to the side of the road, the thump, thump, thump of the rumble strips waking her daughter.

"What's wrong mom? Do you need me to drive for awhile?" yawned her daughter.

"No, I'm not tired... The car just lost power," answered Samantha.

"Not funny." Seanna rubbed her sleepy eyes. "You're kidding right?"

"Not funny and not kidding." Samantha put on the emergency flashers, popped the hood, and got out of the car. Seanna grabbed her cell phone and came around by her mom.

"No service here, Mom. I'll check your phone. Is it in your purse?"

"It's in the side pocket, but it probably won't be any better than yours. You have the fancy phone, I'm the one with the low budget phone for the technologically impaired," she laughed.

Samantha looked under the hood, not at all sure of what she was supposed to be looking for. Nothing looked out of sorts that she would know anyway. The only time she had ever looked under the hood of a car was when the salesman insisted she look under the hood when they bought this one. She had taken a leap of faith in making this purchase. Her husband had always handled their vehicles. If it was something Richard didn't know how to fix he would take it into the shop for repairs. Thankfully, he knew enough that he hadn't been taken advantage of by shady repairmen.

"Nope, no bars here either. Now what?" asked Seanna.

"Since we both know absolutely nothing about cars, unless you took auto shop and didn't tell me about it, I guess we better hope someone drives by. Its 6:15 and it'll be getting dark in a couple of hours. Surely someone lives out here and is on their way home from work," said Samantha.

"Well, let's let the car sit for a minute and then try and start it again. Maybe it got overheated or something. We have been driving through the mountains. Did the temperature light come on?"

"I don't remember seeing one. Let me check...no light. How about we break out some snacks and we can give it ten minutes?" said Samantha for her daughter's sake, while silently praying. Lord, don't leave us stranded out here. No phone, no car mechanic. Either start this car, or send someone trustworthy to help.

Seanna got the small cooler out of the back seat and grabbed some grapes and cheddar cheese as well as a couple of bottles of water. They munched for a few minutes, looking around at their surroundings. They were pretty much high in the mountains and not a house or road was to be seen. After five minutes, Samantha got impatient and turned the ignition. The car coughed and choked and finally started. The girls looked at one another, eyebrows raised and both quickly buckled up. Samantha put the car into gear and took off slowly watching the temperature gauge.

"Whoo, hooo," shouted Seanna. And right about then the car sputtered and died. There was no time to get the car off the road so there they sat in the far right hand lane.

"Ok, Girlie, let's see if we can get this dead beast off the road," said Samantha.

After putting it in neutral both of them got out and leaving their doors opened, pushed the car over to the side, Samantha keeping one hand on the wheel. Thankfully they had not been going up an incline.

"Well, that's that. It must not have been too hot," said Seanna.

"Ok, let's pray." Samantha joined hand with her daughter and said, "Father, you see we are stuck here. We don't know what is wrong, can't fix it and don't know what to do. We ask that you make a way where there is no way. We thank you that it won't cost too much to fix and that we will be safe with whomever you send. Thank you. Amen."

"And Father, keep Mom from stressing out, give her your peace, in Jesus name, Amen." Seanna added, smiling at her mother.

"Me...stressed?" They both laughed. While Seanna was the more positive of the two, Samantha tended to be the worrier.

"Why don't we lock up the car and walk up the road just a bit. Maybe we will see a driveway or some sign of people over that next little rise," Seanna suggested.

After locking up they started walking. The weather was nice and there was a slight breeze. The air was clean and fresh and the scenery was beautiful. They had just topped the small rise when they could hear a vehicle approach from the way they had come. Both turned at once and in the distance they could see a large black limo slowing down by their broken down car. It rolled to a stop and then started heading their way.

"What do you think, Mom, is that our night in shining armor?"

"Who would be in a limo way out here? Well...we prayed. If they don't stop, we'll just let them go by. If they stop, we'll have to trust God and trust whoever is in there," said Samantha.

The car came steadily on. Samantha and Seanna just continued walking until the big car slowly pulled up beside them. The windows were dark and Samantha was just starting to worry when the driver window descended. A dark handsome face with a big white smile poked out the window. He had very short, super curly hair and big brown eyes. He seemed normal enough and Samantha's anxiety lowered a bit.

"Do you ladies need some help?" He asked.

"That's our car back there. I am afraid it's quit on us and we're stranded with no cell service. If you could call a tow service when you get to where you're going, we would be most grateful. We could just wait in the car until they can come," answered Samantha.

A voice came from the back of the car and the man turned to listen. Then he smiled at the them and said, "The closest town is fifty miles away and their service shop closes at five. It isn't safe for you two to be out here alone. There isn't too much traffic, but you shouldn't stay out here. My boss lives only a few miles up the road. Why don't we go back and get your things and you can come and home with us until we get someone to come and look at your car."

He must have seen the worried look on Samantha's face, because he quickly added, "My wife can get you all comfy for the night. We have plenty of room and we can call the mechanic first thing in the morning."

Samantha turned and whispered to her daughter, "what do you think?'

"I think we don't have much choice." Then turning back to the limo, she said, "I am Seanna Shepperd and this is my mom, Samantha. We'd like to take you up on your offer as long as you're sure it isn't a problem. We wouldn't want to put you out."

Over the quiet laughter coming from the back the man replied, "Nice to meet you, I'm Leal Johnson. Just hop in front with me and we'll go get your things."

As they walked around the front of the car a sliding window came up between the front and the back of the limo. Samantha tried to get a peek of the person in the back but was too late. Who would be driving this big limo out in the wilderness? Why doesn't he want us to see him? Lord, I am trying real hard to trust you here.

Leal got out to help. He was good looking, tall, and well built. With his creamed-coffee colored skin, he had to be at least part African American. Right off the girls felt comfortable. It was quick work getting their things out of the car and into the trunk of the limo. Once they were on their way, Seanna started some small talk about the mountains and how pretty it was. Leal chatted about the area and how he and his wife loved it there.

"Where are you from?" he asked.

"We live in a small town in Wisconsin, Bear Ridge. It's pretty much in the center of the state." Samantha finally joined the conversation.

"What brings you to God's country?'

"We're on our way home from my Dad's father's funeral in Washington," said Seanna.

"Wasn't your Dad able to make it?" asked Leal.

"Dad passed away this March," answered Seanna before Samantha had a chance to reply.

"I am sorry to hear about your loss. Wow, Wisconsin to Washington, why didn't you just fly?" Leal quickly changed the subject.

"Well, Mom hates to fly. We flew there and since we are both off for the summer I talked her into taking the scenic route home and having some mother-daughter time. I just graduated and mom teaches school. I thought it was a great idea, until the car we just bought gave up the ghost," said Seanna.

"I could have handled the flight back, but it just sounded like fun to take some time together before Seanna has to leave for college in the fall. I haven't been out of the Midwest and wanted to see some of the sights on the way home. It's the first impulsive thing I've done in years," said Samantha. "I'm sure when this is all over, it will be something exciting to tell our friends back home," explained Samantha.

"But right now it isn't too much fun," drawled Seanna.

"My grandma used to say 'this too shall pass' when things weren't going as planned. Sometimes it would make me so mad. But she was always right. Even the most frustrating things don't look so bad once you're on the other side of them," said Leal. The cynical laughter from the back stopped the conversation in the front until finally Leal said, "Well...here we are."

Leal turned the big car onto what looked like little more than a dirt trail that curved through some hills. About a hundred yards in, there was a locked gate and the road turned into blacktop. Leal punched a remote and the gate slid open for them to pass. They topped a rise and he slowed so they could enjoy what they were seeing. Nestled in the mountains was a group of buildings, and gardens. From the road you would never even know it was there.

"We like our privacy, can you tell?" Leal laughed. He started driving and gestured to the buildings. "Welcome to Mountain Home, I know, not real original. We have a pool, guest rooms and gardens. I already used the CB to radio my wife, Trisha, to let her know we were bringing company. She'll be all ready for you. Then in the morning we'll see what we can do about fixing that car."

As they got closer to the house Samantha and Seanna couldn't help but get a little excited. It looked like it was built right into the side of a hill, from the driveway it looked more like a rambler style. But when they drove around they could plainly see that it had several levels with windows and balconies from top to bottom. There was one balcony that overhung a large pool. The pool itself looked like it disappeared over the edge of the hill. As they pulled up under a carport area, Seanna looked at her mom with her eyebrows raised and a big smile on her face.

Before they came to a complete stop, a petite young woman hurried out to greet them. She had an Asian look about her. Her hair was straight black and cut at chin length. She had a friendly smile. She walked right to the driver's side door and started giving instructions to her husband about bringing the luggage into the house. Then as the girls stepped out of the limo, she met them in front and introduced herself.

"Hi I am Trisha, Leal's wife. You two just grab what you need to freshen up and Leal will get your bags into the house. Follow me. I'll show you where you'll be camping for the night." Then she led the way into what could only be described as a modern mansion.

# **Chapter 2**

# All That Glitters Is Not Gold

Daffyd waited until his assistant, Trisha, got the ladies out of the car and into the house before he allowed Leal to help him out of the limo. Being so weak from his chemo treatment, he had to be practically carried into the house. Why did I let Leal talk me into bringing those two here? I should have had him take them into town no matter how long the trip. Now I have unwanted guests and I feel like the usual half corpse after that poison!

The treatments wrecked havoc on his already weak body, but they were the only thing keeping the stage four Hodgkin's lymphoma from killing him. He had always been thin, but now he looked more like the pictures of severe anorexia patients than like the Rock Star that he was. His once long blond hair had fallen out the first year of treatment. He had dark circles under his dark circles and his skin was the color of chalk. He could have passed for eighty instead of his recent birthday of thirty years.

Maybe I should have let them get a look and they would have run away screaming, begging Leal to take them to the next town. At least I still have my sense of humor. Like when Leal talked about his grandmother's saying "this too shall pass". The only time that applies to me is after I eat. It all passes right through or comes back up. Maybe I should have contributed to that conversation. Then they for sure wouldn't be invading my privacy.

Leal got him into his room unseen. That was quite the feat going up the open stairs one side of the great room while Trish kept the company distracted by showing them their rooms. This was one time that the whole open concept to his dream home became an issue. When he built the house four years ago he had dreamed of a place to rest after long tours. He needed a safe haven away from the world of music and media. That was all before his brother's accident, before the massive anxiety attacks and before the cancer. When Gareth and his wife died it rocked Daffyd's world in a way that he hadn't expected. Especially when he had read his brother's will asking him to care for his nephew Bryce. Gareth and Daffyd had gone their separate ways after high school and had only seen each other at the few family gatherings that Daffyd had made it around to going to. His family had always been close and loving. Bryson Sayvage, his father was a second generation American of Welsh descent. His parents were strong in their faith and convictions and had brought up their two boys to love God and to serve others.

Even though they were polar opposites, Daffyd and Gareth had always been close. Gareth loved sports and working at the local homeless center in the kitchen after school. Daffyd, though athletic, loved books and music. By the time they were in high school, Daffyd's musical talent began to grow. He could play any musical instrument he picked up and was singing solos at school and church. In his senior year a group of older guys asked him to join a band, and against his parent's advice, he did. Gareth didn't like the way the whole lifestyle was pulling his brother away from his family and his beliefs. Soon the band was playing in bars and clubs all over the area. In a few short years the band members had all been replaced, other than Daffyd, and had become known simply as 'Savage', a play on Daffyd's last name.

At the young age of twenty five he was the hottest singer in the business, not only in the U.S. but in several other countries. The world knew him as James Savage the Rock Star. When Gareth and his wife were killed in a plane crash several years later, Daffyd started suffering from severe anxiety. Crowds and noise made him feel like he couldn't breathe, like the world was caving in on him. His scheduled tour had to be cancelled and his manager scrambled to make excuses for his young star. It was leaked to the tabloids that he was suffering from exhaustion, which wasn't too far from the truth.

Thankfully his nephew Bryce was in his senior year in high school and was able to stay with friends until his graduation. So Daffyd's role as guardian of his nephew was put on hold. By the time summer had rolled around Daffyd had overcome his anxiety enough to record his next album. Even without the tours, it hit the charts and stayed on top for months. That first summer was a battle for Daffyd to come to terms with the death of his estranged brother and to prove to his parents that he could care for Bryce.

In the fall, his nephew began college at Daffyd's encouragement and financial provision. They had grown to love one another if not understand each other. In Bryce's last year of pre-law Daffyd had gotten the flu and it didn't seem to get better. After passing out in the recording studio, Trisha insisted he go get a checkup. The diagnosis was cancer. Now after almost two years of treatments, his prognosis wasn't any better. He had gone into remission for a while, but the disease had come back with a vengeance. From the first day he found out, he had hidden his condition from the world. He had fired Barry, his long time manager, and had moved into the house in Montana taking Trisha and Leal. On one of Bryce's visits he had broken the news to him but made him promise not to tell anyone, not even his grandparents.

Now he had taken a chance that all of his best laid plans, his secrecy and his deal with the small town leaders would all be blown to bits by two stranded motorists. Maybe the chemo has finally damaged my brain. As soon as he was settled in bed with the bucket by his side, he gave Leal instructions to send Trisha in as soon as she got done with settling his unwanted guest. Man he felt old. If I wasn't such a coward, I'd just take a few more pain pills than prescribed and be done. But what if this wasn't all there was? What if all that stuff that his parents, Gareth, Bryce and even Trisha and Leal believed was true? You used to believe it too...what happened to that simple faith? But what kind of God would take good people like Gareth and Rebecca from a great kid like Bryce? What kind of God even allowed cancer? No he'd beat this on his own, just like he made himself a star. He didn't need God, and he sure didn't need false belief in something better. This is all you get, Bucko.Take it or leave it.

His pity party was interrupted by Trisha coming in and fussing over him. He hated to admit it, but he loved it when she fussed. Which was probably why he kept her around, well, maybe her cooking and her great business sense didn't hurt much either. They may not see eye to eye on all things, but Daffyd, Trisha and Leal made a great team.

"So...?" said Trisha as she settled on the side of his bed.

"So... what?" asked Daffyd.

"We have guests."

"Yes, Trish, we do."

"What do you think about that," she asked.

"You sound like my old therapist."

"You don't need a therapist. You just need God." She stated.

"Now, you're crossing that line we talked about, Trish..."

"Ok, sorry. But really, isn't this just fun. We've never had anyone here but Bryce, and they seem really sweet. It will be nice to just let them relax and have fun until we can get that car fixed. And aren't they both the cutest? They look more like sisters than mother and daughter."

"Leave it to you to think hosting guests, while feeling like crap, would be fun."

"You'd feel like crap with or without guests. So I was thinking we should still have our 'Post Treatment Comedy Pajama Night'. What do you think?"

"I think you are crazier than usual," Daffyd snorted.

"Who made the rule? Quote: 'New House Rule-One hour of treatment equals one hour of everyone else laughing until their guts hurt.' Did I get that right?" Trisha said poking fun at her boss.

"Rules changed when your Good Samaritan husband wanted to pick up those damsels in distress today," Daffyd said.

"That's funny. I thought he said it was your idea. I should have known better. Your heart is too cold to be a Good Samaritan. That's why you do not give to charities, or why you never built that children's wing on the hospital, and never ever would have paid for your orphaned nephew's college," countered Trisha.

"You can shut up now. If I approve the movie and the pajamas will you leave me alone until then?" he asked wearily.

"Of course, as soon as I tuck you in and bring you that herbal tea that helps settle your stomach."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad this time. I didn't even throw up in the car on the way back. So just tuck me in and forget the tea. You can invite your guests to movie night. They'll probably be too tired to come, but we wouldn't want to be rude. And you better warn them, I don't want them to freak out when they see me. But remember, nobody mentions who I am. I am just plain Daffyd Sayvage."

# Chapter 3

# A Merry Heart

Samantha and Seanna were sitting in the room that Trisha had given to Samantha. Her room was almost as big as their living room at home. It was all done in earth tones, mostly warm browns and cool greens. There was a big four posted bed in dark cherry wood. Matching tables on both side and a large dresser with a round mirror completed the furnishings. The pictures were mostly photographs in black and white. There were two big windows that looked out into the surrounding hills. Both Seanna and Samantha were sitting on the big bed. They were talking about all the weird events in the last few months. They both agreed it was like something out of the movies, the death of Richard, the rushed flight to Washington, the long trip, car trouble, the limo rescue and now this mansion way out in the middle of nowhere. If it hadn't been happening to them, they wouldn't have believed it.

"Who are these people?" Seanna asked. "They live in the middle of nowhere and are filthy rich."

"They are the people God sent to help us," Samantha answered matte-of-factly.

"The guy in the back of the limo must be rich. Look at this place. This looks like something off of the Home and Garden channel. Why do you think 'Mr. Rich' never introduced himself, or even showed his face? Did you notice he never even got out of the car? Maybe he is old and ugly, or deformed or something."

"Somebody has been watching too many movies. Maybe he just wants his privacy. All the more reason for us to get the car fixed right away in the morning and get back on the road. We'll just stay in our rooms until then, and not be a bother," said Samantha.

"Yeah, you're probably right. I sure would like to see the rest of the house. Did you check out the bathroom down the hall? And the view out my window is awesome. You can look out over the mountains. I am gonna at least take some pictures of our rooms and the view. Nobody will believe this without proof."

Just as Seanna got her camera out of her purse, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in", said both girls at once.

Trisha came in and took a seat on the bed right along with Samantha and Seanna.

"I am here to invite you to a movie and snacks in our video room," said Trisha. "But if you are feeling too tired and just want to rest that's ok too. They are just some old Three Stooges movies. It's kind of a tradition here."

"You show all your guests Three Stooges movies?" asked Seanna with a bemused look on her face.

"No," laughed Trisha. "You're actually our first visitors we've had, except Daffyd's nephew Bryce. I guess I should tell you about Daffyd, my boss, then you'll understand. He has stage four Hodgkin's lymphoma which is a fancy name for a real bad form of cancer. He has been fighting it for two years. He gets a little better, has even been in a full remission, only to have it crop back up. He was actually on his way home from a chemo session today when they picked you up. So the tradition is that every treatment day we all put on our pajamas, so Daffyd doesn't feel left out, he lives in his now days, and watch his old Three Stooges movies. He says it's so that we will all 'laugh until our guts hurt', he doesn't want us 'to feel left out'. It cheers him up and we do whatever we can to keep him happy."

"So is that why he didn't let us see him in the limo?" asked Samantha.

"He does look pretty rough and he doesn't like people to see him this way. His privacy is very important to him, so I am not at liberty to say much more. He is a real nice guy who is in a real hard spot. But between you and me, Leal and I think it is right where God wants him."

"I think we should join them. What do you think, Mom?" asked Seanna.

"If he would be uncomfortable, maybe we shouldn't," hedged Samantha.

"Sometimes being uncomfortable is what makes us change. I think it would be good for him. God knows, Leal and I would love the company. It's pretty quiet when Bryce isn't here," said Trisha.

"That's the nephew you were talking about?" asked Seanna.

"Yep, since his parents died he's here during breaks from law school. He's a great kid. You just missed him by a few days. He stops to visit Daffyd's parents for a couple of weeks before he comes here," Trisha replied. "So what do you say? Snacks and some corny movies?"

Samantha looked at her daughter, who looked back with her 'please, Mom' look.

"Sure, we'll come. But what was that about pajamas?" asked Samantha.

"Well I guess you would be forgiven if you didn't, but Leal and I wear ours and when Bryce is here he always wears some crazy ones to make his uncle laugh. It's totally up to you. Just come down to the kitchen in about an hour. I'll be putting together some eats and will show you to the media room." Trisha popped up off the bed and said as she left, "its nice having you here, even if it is just one night."

"Well, I for one, do not have pajamas fit for company. All my flannels are at home. I have been sleeping in my summer stuff that is way too skimpy for public," stated Samantha.

"I'll just wear one of my tank tops and shorts, that's my summer sleepwear," Seanna said.

"I guess I do have a few tanks...do you think it's ok for me to be in public in my pajamas?"

"First off, you're talking like you're an old lady. Secondly, we're not in public. We are in a private home. Thirdly, our host requests pajamas. Come on, Mom. Live on the edge!" Seanna joked.

An hour later they were helping Trisha put butter on some popcorn and various junk food articles on a tray. Samantha couldn't help a twinge of guilt and she hadn't even touched the food yet. It's not going to hurt you to eat a little junk food now and then. It's not like you'll change a lifetime of good eating in one night. She had gotten past the whole pajama thing when she saw Trisha in a pair of silky pants and a tank top that said 'sleep is over rated'. Soon Trisha was leading them downstairs to a big room with a huge sectional that pretty much filled two walls. There was a screen almost as big as a real theater where you could see from any part of the room. A big heavy table was in the center of the room and there was a bar area on another wall.

The lights were already dimmed and Samantha could just make out Leal and another man sitting on one side of the big couch. The other was reclined and on the end next to Leal with a hooded sweatshirt on. All she could see was a pale outline of a face. Their host pushed a button on the remote and before anyone could say a word, the movie started. Trisha motioned towards the couch. Seanna and Samantha sat while Trisha set the tray and the popcorn on the table. Leal hopped up and grabbed some sodas and juice out of the fridge in the bar. He kept one, handed one to his boss, and put the rest on the table. Soon the movie was rolling and there was no chance for conversation.

Samantha had never really liked the Stooges much, not that she had seen much of their stuff. She didn't think Seanna even knew who they were. She had resigned herself to sit through at least a half hour before begging off with the excuse of being tired. But before she knew it, she was laughing right along with the rest of them. Leal had a big laugh, Trisha had one long giggle, and Seanna was laughing so hard she was leaning on her mom. Samantha's face hurt from laughing so much, and a few times even having some issues catching her breath. The only one not laughing out loud was their host. He did have a huge smile on his face and occasionally chuckled. He looked enjoying watching the others, especially the two guests who snuggled and whispered and fell into each other as they laughed. Samantha forgot all about her thirty minutes, ate junk food and drank a whole soda, and skipped the water all together. What did Seanna say about living on the edge? I think I have jumped right off. Then she laughed even harder at her own joke.

When the movie was over Trisha got up and turned on the light with the pretext of finding something she dropped under the couch. Daffyd saw right through her poor acting and tried to pull the hoody over his face a little more. Samantha and Seanna were trying to catch their breath and drying their eyes and smiling at each other.

"Refills anyone?" asked Leal.

"Sure, I'd take water. I think I've had enough caffeine before bed," said Seanna.

"Well then maybe we should watch another one. Anyone up for round two?" Daffyd surprised everyone by asking.

"I think my stomach and my face hurt from laughing so much, they need a break. I haven't laughed that hard in years. Thanks! I think it did me good," answered Samantha.

"A merry heart is like taking medicine," said Seanna.

"What was that?" asked Daffyd.

"It's in the Bible; I am pretty sure in Proverbs. I might not have it just right, but it says something like 'a merry heart is like taking medicine'," she answered.

"I think it is proverbs 17:22 'A merry heart does good like medicine," said Leal.

"That's it," Seanna said.

"Well Daffyd, did you know that your house rule was in the Bible?" teased Trisha.

"There is that line again, Trish," Daffyd said with a frown. "Let's change the subject."

"Good idea, why don't you tell us what you're going to college for Seanna. Your mom said you were going in the fall?" asked Leal.

"I'm going into accounting. I have always been good with math, and Dad always said I had a good business head. I helped him in our grocery store after school and during summer break."

"So who is taking care of the store while you are on vacation?" asked Trisha.

Seanna looked at Samantha to see if it was alright to share. Samantha nodded. They would probably never see these people after tomorrow so what would it hurt.

"We sold the store after Dad died. We couldn't keep it up. My Dad was a big softy; he wasn't really good at telling the difference between someone who was really in need and someone who was just taking advantage. Over the years the store got into debt and there wasn't enough life insurance money to keep it going. Besides, Mom works full time at the school and I had planned on college in the fall. I'll work part time and I got a few student loans. So we sold the store to a local family who should be able to keep it up and running," she answered.

"My husband Richard was never in the business for money. He opened the little neighborhood store because he loved people. He said that meeting their basic need of food made him feel like he was doing something good, even if they had to pay for their groceries. Apparently several didn't...pay that is," Samantha replied.

"I love the little store we have in town. It has almost everything you need, and if they don't we just order off the internet. I prefer buying from a real person though," said Trisha.

"Speaking of town, do you know what time the mechanic is open?" asked Samantha.

"I think he is there pretty early. We should be able to get a tow truck out before nine. If it's an easy fix you could be out of here by noon," answered Leal.

Samantha turned to Daffyd and said, "We'd like to thank you all for being so kind. We were pretty much stuck. You've let us right into your home and treated us like family."

"You're welcome," said Daffyd. "I think a little excitement is good now and again."

"I told them that they missed Bryce by a week. He would have enjoyed some young fresh faces around here," Trisha told Daffyd.

"Maybe one young fresh face!" laughed Samantha, "I'd hardly call myself either one."

"You just turned thirty-five, Mom. And half of the time people think you're my sister," said Seanna.

"That's exactly what I told Leal and Daffyd, you two look so much alike. Seanna you could easily pass for twenty. Samantha I wouldn't have guessed you to be a year over twenty-five, if I didn't know you had a teenage daughter!" exclaimed Trisha.

"Now I really feel good, first all that laughing and now all the compliments." Samantha could tell that her face was turning pink.

"Dad always called us his 'girls'," said Seanna.

"I think it may be because you two girls are small like my Trisha. People ask me if she's my daughter. Now, Daffyd and I, on the other hand are both over six feet so no one ever mistakes us for younger," joked Leal. "Trisha is only five foot in her socks. How tall are you two?"

"I am taller than Mom, at five foot five inches. She is only five foot three," said Seanna

As they all laughed, Samantha noticed that Daffyd was yawning. She nudged Seanna and they got up and started picking up empty cans and wrappers. Trisha gave them a hand and followed them out of the room, so Leal could help Daffyd up and to bed without any spectators. As they walked out, Seanna turned and waved goodbye to the guys. Daffyd waved back and Leal gave her a big grin.

"In the morning, let me handle the mechanic. I feel like I need to do something around here and talking on the phone is simple enough. If you knew more about cars than I do, I'd have you do it. But we both seem to be lacking in mechanical skill," said Daffyd.

"You're the boss. Well...when Trisha isn't around," he corrected himself.

# **Chapter 4**

# Bedtime Prayers

The girls were in Seanna's room right next to Samantha's. Seanna's room was a lot like her mom's only hers was decorated in soft creams and blues. Her furniture was all in light woods and the pictures were not black and whites. There were several with ocean scenes. It was Seanna's idea of a perfect room. It made her room at home look like a cave. She couldn't help thinking of what her dorm room at college would feel like after this. Once again they were sitting on the bed with pillows cradled in their laps.

"Wasn't that movie funny? I always thought the Three Stooges would just be stupid. Man, I laughed so hard I thought I was going to wet my pajamas," said Seanna with a big yawn.

"I am glad we went. It was fun. My stomach may not be thanking me for it later," said Samantha.

"The guy who owns the house didn't look so good. I wonder what he looked like before he got sick. You know I didn't see any pictures of him anywhere. I feel bad for him."

"Cancer can wreck havoc on your body. I am not familiar with the kind he has. But some are pretty curable. It sounds like his may be bad. I do know that stage four is not a good thing. Most people, short of a miracle, don't survive it," said Samantha.

"Do you think that is why God sent us here? You know to give him hope, or maybe to pray for him?" asked Seanna.

"From what I gathered tonight, I don't think he is a believer. He either changed the subject or got irritated with Trisha whenever anything spiritual was talked about," replied Samantha.

"God could still heal him though. Wouldn't that change his mind? Before you go to bed, why don't we pray for healing for Daffyd and that our car can be fixed without any issues," said Samantha.

"Are you missing Dad? You seem a little sad?" asked her daughter.

"Of course I miss your Dad. After fifteen years with someone they become part of you. But it gets easier. How about you?" asked Samantha.

"I do. I even miss working in the store. I am glad we took this little trip, even if it didn't turn out how we planned it. Meeting Trisha and Leal, and staying at this cool place. If we had just gone on home, I think it would have been harder for us," answered Seanna.

"I think you are right. Well, I for one am getting sleepy. How about we pray and you can hit the sack."

They joined hands on the bed and asked God to bless their new friends for taking good care of them, to heal Daffyd from cancer and to give them favor with their car. Then Samantha jokingly tucked in her daughter like she was five again and clicked her light off as she left. When she was back in her room, she couldn't sleep. She kept thinking of all that had happened in her life and how Daffyd was fighting something harder than she ever had to. Her last thoughts were about Richard. He would have liked these people. Like him, they were kindhearted and friendly. She finally nodded off and dreamt that she was young again, living by the moment, carefree and guilt free.

# 

# **Chapter 5**

# Best Laid Plans

"He said what!" exclaimed Samantha.

She was sitting in the living room with Daffyd. The room was in the center of the house. There was an open plan to the house and it all surrounded the living room. The upstairs bedrooms all looked out over the living room. It was modern in decoration and had low couches and chairs. The couches were white and the chairs in red. There were a lot of metal and soft cushions balancing the room. The wall opposite the upstairs landing was all windows. You could see the infinity pool, the garden and flower beds and a beautiful view of the surrounding hills and mountains. Off this space was the open kitchen and eating area.

Daffyd had just gotten off the phone with the mechanic. Everyone but Daffyd had just finished a late breakfast of waffles and fresh strawberries. The day had started off so well and now the news from the mechanic wasn't what she had hoped for. Daffyd had been able to get a hold of him early and the car had been towed and the problem found all before nine o'clock.

"He said normally that is an easy fix, but he doesn't have any of the parts in stock. Today being Friday, and Monday being the fourth of July, he doesn't think he'll be able to get it in until Tuesday of next week," explained Daffyd again.

"And he said it wouldn't cost much?" she asked.

"No, it should be less than a hundred with parts and labor." He said.

"That couldn't include the tow bill, could it?" she asked.

"I am not sure..." Daffyd evaded.

"Well if that is all it is going to cost and the towing is included, we should be able to pay for a motel until it is fixed. Does the same town have one?" asked Samantha.

"I think they have a small one, but with it being the fourth of July weekend, they're probably all booked up. You're welcome to both stay here," Daffyd offered.

"We couldn't do that. I hate it when people take advantage."

"How would that be taking advantage? I am inviting you to stay, as you can see I have more than enough room and food. It wouldn't be taking away from anyone else. You can also probably see how much your being here has been fun for Trish and Leal. They probably get pretty lonely out here with just me for company. A couple of healthy people to hang out with would be good for them."

"Let me go and talk to Seanna about it. I do appreciate the offer...I'm just not sure about taking you up on it. You've all been so great and I just want to make sure it won't back fire on us all," said Samantha.

"Take your time, obviously there is no hurry. Just one last thing, we do a great fireworks display on the fourth and Bryce will be here for the celebration. You'd like my nephew."

As soon as Samantha walked away Daffyd got up and walked to the window. He looked out over his property and wondered what in the world he was doing. He was worried that all his plans would go down the toilet if they figured out who he was. He'd have the media crawling all over his little piece of heaven and all of his privacy would be over. They don't even know who you are, and could care less about your fame and fortune. They are just normal people going through a hard time and you can help them. Leal and Trish do like having the company and Bryce will be very proud of you. When is the last time you were even around anyone who wasn't there because of your money or fame? You could just be yourself, no pressure and see if you can even make a real friend. He decided he felt well enough to sit outside for awhile and went to find Leal to help him out to the poolside.

He found him in the kitchen, talking with all three ladies. Samantha had talked to Seanna and now was trying to see how the other two thought about them sticking around for awhile. His heart was pounding in his ears and he found himself holding his breath waiting for the answer. Trisha saw him coming in and raised her eyebrows at him. Daffyd hadn't discussed his plans with her or Leal, which was pretty unusual. He stayed where Samantha and Seanna couldn't see him and listened in on their discussion.

"I think it would be great for you to stay. We could have a fun weekend," said Trisha.

"Do you think his nephew will mind finding us crashing in on his time with his uncle?" asked Seanna.

"More likely he'll be happy that his uncle Daffyd even allowed you to stay overnight, let alone suggested you stay longer. Daffyd has privacy issues and I am sure Bryce will see it as a break through," said Leal.

"Well...if the two of you don't mind and you think Bryce won't...then I guess we will stay. But, you have to let us help and not treat us like guests! I insist on that or we are just going to have to move on." Samantha used her 'teacher voice' with that last bit.

"Just out of curiosity, where would you have moved on too," asked Daffyd with a smile. He had stepped into the kitchen as he spoke and Samantha spun around.

"I guess we would have had to buy a few sleeping bags and sleep under the stars," laughed Seanna. "Mom can be pretty stubborn about some things."

"I am glad you're staying. Now, that that is settled, I'd like to go and sit by the pool for a while. It's a nice warm morning and the sun isn't too hot. Would you ladies like to take a dip while I soak up some sun?" Daffyd asked.

"Why don't we all go? It will be a great way to start our weekend. You two have suits?" asked Trisha.

"We do, I talked Mom into getting one before we left," said Seanna.

"While you are all changing, I have some calls to make and I'll meet you out by the pool," said Daffyd.

"I have a few chores to finish before I get to play. I'll stop back in and see if you need a hand with anything Daffyd," offered Leal.

By the time Daffyd had finished with his calls, the three girls had already gotten in the pool. He decided not to attempt the stairs without Leal's help. He hated this weakness, but it was better to ask for help than to do more damage by stumbling down the stairs. He walked over to the doors that led out onto the balcony overlooking the pool. Sitting on the bench next to the railing, he watched as Seanna splashed and played with Trisha. Samantha sat on the edge of the pool, dangling her legs in the water. She looked like she was trying to get used to the temperature change between the pool and the warm summer air. Bet she is not the type to just jump into anything. I bet she plans out her day before she gets out of bed.

Her suit was a one piece and a little modest. He was used to seeing string bikinis and canned tans. Not that he had hung out with anything in a suit, besides his two sidekicks and Bryce, for a long time. He continued to watch Samantha from his viewpoint taking advantage of being able to stare without being rude. She was short and petite, not too skinny. Definitely not tanned, her skin looked like it probably burnt easily. She wasn't especially beautiful but she was pretty in a simple healthy kind of way. She had brown hair, shoulder length without all the fancy highlighting and fake color that most women sport.

She looks good. She looks real. And her daughter is a lot like her, prettier in a more exotic kind of way with her olive skin and darker hair. Someone will snatch Samantha up soon, now that she is alone. She doesn't seem heartbroken over the death of her husband. Maybe she is putting up a front, or maybe she didn't have a good marriage. Why do I even care? They'll be here for the long weekend and then they will go back to their life in Wisconsin. You'll have had a mini adventure and will go on with your life, non-existent as it may feel.

Samantha sat on the edge of the pool and watched her daughter and Trisha splashing around. The water was a little cool and she was trying to ease her body into it. Seanna and Richard always dove right in, but she preferred to go slow and her family had learned early that she hated to be splashed or rushed. She looked up at the big blue sky and all the lazy clouds hanging above. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed someone sitting on the balcony on the second level of the house. The sun reflecting off of his bald head gave Daffyd away. She had never felt real comfortable in a swim suit. Usually buying what Seanna called an 'old lady suit'. But this time she had let her daughter talk her into a one piece without the skirt. It was still modest enough for most people. The only real exposed skin was her back. The suit dipped way down to her waist in the back, while the front went almost to her throat. But she felt exposed sitting on the edge of the pool. The water isn't getting any warmer so just go for it. She stood up and jumped in headfirst. When she came up out of the water, the balcony was empty.

Soon Leal had Daffyd sitting on the side of the pool under a big umbrella, the closest he could reasonably get to 'sunning himself'. He had a tall glass of lemonade next to his chair and a big straw hat on, looking like an elderly tourist. After making sure his boss was situated, Leal made an entrance into the pool with a big cannonball that splashed everyone including Daffyd.

"You're so fired!" yelled Daffyd.

"Fire him and I quit," Trisha yelled back.

"Ok, he stays," smiled Daffyd.

Samantha and Seanna were getting a kick out the three of them. The way they joked they seemed more like family than employees and employer. Daffyd made a big deal of drying himself off on Leal's towel before he settled into the lounge chair. Samantha bobbed around for a bit and even played some water volleyball, she and Seanna teeming up against the husband and wife. After a good hit, Seanna noticed her mom was getting a little pink, and told her to re-sunscreen. Samantha hopped out to dry off and reapply her sun block.

"Do you want me to get your back?" asked Daffyd, seeing her trying to reach around each shoulder.

Samantha realized she was just standing there looking foolish, when she finally answered. "Sure, I guess my arms are just too short."

Daffyd put some sunscreen in his palm and rubbed his hands together to warm it up before rubbing some onto her back. Samantha lifted her hair so he could get under. His touch was gentle and felt almost like a caress. She could feel the blush working its way up her face and she tensed up. For Pete's sake, it's just sunscreen. She made herself relax as he finished applying it to her lower back. She was just getting ready to jump back into the pool, forgetting her aversion to plunging into the cool water when Daffyd spoke up.

"It says on the bottle that you are supposed to let it soak in for fifteen minutes before swimming."

He held up the bottle as if she could read it from where she was at the end of his chair.

"Oh... Well then I think I'll sit here in the shade for a bit."

Samantha pulled a chair over to be included in the umbrella's shade.

"You don't mind sharing?" she asked. "Now that was a stupid question. If you minded, we wouldn't be here staying in your house and swimming in your pool. Forget I asked."

"So what do you usually do on the Fourth of July?" asked Daffyd, trying to make her less self conscious.

"Depending on how it landed during the week, we usually go to a big fireworks display out at the fairgrounds. They would have popcorn and snacks, play all that patriotic music and we'd lay on blankets with all our neighbors. Sometimes when it landed on the weekend, we'd take a little trip up to Door County by the Great Lakes. Richard would leave one of the employees in charge of the store."

"Was he able to get away from the store very often?"

"He closed on Thanksgiving, Christmas Day, New Years and the Fourth of July. Other than that he only took Sundays and Mondays off. He pretty much lived there."

"You sound a little bitter about that," said Daffyd.

"Do I? I suppose I am. Richard was a good man. There are just some things I wish could have been different. I don't want to be bitter but some of the information I just got from his mother is still too fresh. I guess I am still trying to process it all. Trying to deal with this whole car thing and trying to keep a good attitude for Seanna makes it hard to figure out exactly how I feel," said Samantha.

"I am not trying to be nosy, but if you feel like talking about it..." Daffyd picked at some lint on his lounge pants.

Samantha looked out over the mountains and thought about sharing her thoughts with this strange man beside her. Would it help to talk about it? Or would she just get all worked up again? She had decided it couldn't hurt to tell him part of her story. Maybe it would do her good to talk to another adult about it, someone who was not too close to the whole mess.

"Well to begin with Richard kind of rescued me from a lonely life of being a teenage mother. He isn't Seanna's birth Father. She was two when I met Richard in his little grocery store. I was on my own and in college. He was really nice to us and before I really knew it we were a couple. I so much needed someone to talk to. He was a good listener. I didn't realize until years later that he never shared much about himself, his life or his past, but he would listen for hours to my problems and worries. We married pretty quickly. Richard was thirty-five when we got married. I had just had my twentieth birthday."

"What did your family think about him being so much older?" Daffyd asked.

"By that time my parents wouldn't have anything to do with me. When their good Christian daughter got pregnant by her good Christian boyfriend in high school, they were mortified. They shipped me off to a girl's school to get my diploma, and once I graduated I got a check for five hundred dollars, and a note asking me not to come back."

"Wow, that's crazy. What about 'Mr. Christian Boyfriend'? What happened to him?"

"He denied it all. Said the baby wasn't his. I think I realized then that he was just a jerk, a handsome jerk, but still a jerk."

"You could have done a paternity test," said Daffyd.

"I kind of figured there was no point in doing that. I'd have to deal with him in our lives, and what kind of a Dad has to be forced to take responsibility for his child? I decided we would be fine on our own. Only I wasn't. By the time Richard came along I had lost all faith in God and myself. I was barely making it financially and mentally. He rescued me."

"But now you regret it?" asked Daffyd. Before Samantha could answer, a young man came bounding down the stairs to the pool.

It was Daffyd's nephew, Bryce. He was exactly what you would expect a college student to look like. He was tall and athletic with a messy hair style that kids his age loved. His hair was a sandy brown with a few blonde tips that looked like they were from the sun and not a salon. He had green eyes and the beginning of a summer tan.

"There you are!" He said as he bent down and hugged Daffyd. "You must be feeling better."

"We didn't expect you until tomorrow," said Daffyd.

"You know Grandma; she was worried about me traveling over the weekend. So I left last night."

Bryce sat on the edge of Daffyd's lounge chair and nodded towards Samantha sitting right next to his uncle.

"You have company..." he said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh, sorry...Samantha this is my nephew, Bryce. Bryce, this is Samantha Shepperd, and that is her daughter in the pool." By that time Leal and Trisha were out of the pool and on their way over.

"Hey, where's our hugs?" asked Trisha.

Bryce got up and hugged them both, even though they got his clothes wet. They all just laughed and grabbed some towels. Seanna, feeling like the odd man out, also came out of the pool and grabbed a towel. While she was drying her hair, Bryce walked over and stuck out his hand.

"I am Bryce."

"Hey Bryce, it's nice to finally meet you. We've been hearing a lot about you," replied Seanna. "I am Seanna."

"So you've been bragging about me again." Joked Bryce as he turned back to the others.

I have to be able to brag about something," teased Daffyd.

"Are you hungry? I can fix you something to eat," Trisha asked.

"No, I grabbed a burger about an hour ago. To be honest, the pool looks pretty inviting. Were you guys getting out?"

"I think I am done," said Trisha. "I have some work to do inside."

"I'll give you a hand," Samantha offered.

"I'll stay out here and supervise," said Leal.

"I am good right where I am. I may even take a little nap out here," from Daffyd.

"I'll run and put on some swim trunks and be right back," said Bryce as he literally sprinted up the stairs.

Leal pushed Seanna into the pool and dove in after, while Samantha and Trisha followed Bryce back to the house. Daffyd snuggled into his lounge chair happy and for the first time in a long time feeling pretty content. He was glad that Bryce was here early. He always enjoyed having him around. His nephew was the only real family he had left. Of course there were his parents, but he only sent cards at holidays. They pretty much stopped calling after he was 'too busy' to talk time after time. It did him good to see him.

After a little house work and some garden weeding, Samantha headed off to take a nap. Between swimming, the sun and the fresh air she had become sleepy. Daffyd had long since retired to his room and Leal had run to town on some errands. Bryce and Seanna were in the game room shooting pool and getting acquainted. Samantha lay down on the comfortable bed facing the window. The views from the house were breathtaking. The sky was so blue in Montana. It's beautiful here, Lord. We have met some good people, very friendly. I've had few close friends over the years. It always seemed to be just the three of us. Why didn't we let people in? Were we afraid that others would see that our lives were less than perfect? Was it me Lord? Was I too proud to let others see the real me? Finally weariness took its toll and she fell into a dreamless sleep.

# **Chapter 6**

# A Day of Rest

At the breakfast table early Sunday morning Bryce asked the girls if they would like to go to church. Daffyd was still sleeping. Trisha usually took a tray up to him a little later with toast and a cup of herbal tea. She was going to stay home with Daffyd, and Leal would be going in to town with them. The girls quickly ate and then Samantha asked Trisha what they should wear for church.

"Most of the women wear dresses or slacks. In the summer some come in shorts. They are pretty casual there," she answered.

"I'm looking forward to going to church. Seanna and I haven't gone in a couple of weeks," said Samantha.

"I try to go as much as I can," said Trisha. "You better hurry and get ready; it takes awhile to get into town."

Seanna and Samantha quickly headed upstairs to change. Being that the girls were both very simple in their beauty routine, with little make up and easy hairstyles, it didn't take them long to get ready. It also helped that they had very few clothes to choose from. When they had packed in Wisconsin, they hadn't planned on staying any length of time. They both wore the dresses they had worn to Richard's father's funeral. Both were simple summer dresses. Though they were both short, they preferred flats to heels. They looked great for church and would be comfortable if there was no air conditioning.

The church was just outside of town. It was an older building that had been well kept over the years. There were stained glass windows along the sides and a steeple with a bell on top. There were people streaming up the steps into the front door and people talking on the front lawn. The bell gave one ring and everyone began to make their way into the building. Some greeted Leal as they passed and there were a few who recognized Bryce as well and welcomed him back from college.

Once inside they went through an entryway right into the old sanctuary. The room was large and had rows of wooden pews on either side of a walkway down the middle. The floors were also a rich hardwood and gleamed in the light coming in from the stained glass on both sides of the building. At the front was a simple wooden cross on the wall and a wooden podium on a raised stage. There were a few people in choir robes standing to one side and a grand piano on the other. The pianist was playing softly while they found their seats. Leal and Bryce walked up to one of the first couple of pews and the girls slid in beside of them.

After singing a few old hymns and some newer praise songs, they all sat for the message. The Pastor seemed to be in his early fifties and gave a warm message of God's love. Most of what he said was things that Samantha and Seanna had heard over the years in church. But it was the kind of message that never got old and that really blessed those that heard it for the very first time. There was no great new revelation, but it was comfortable and uplifting. After he was finished he invited anyone up to the front that needed prayer.

Seanna was up and on her way out of the aisle before Samantha had a chance to even think about it. With all that had been going on in her life, she decided that she would join her daughter at the altar. When it was her turn to be prayed for, she simple asked the Pastor to pray for direction and peace. He did just that in a simple heartfelt prayer. His wife was there by his side and laid her hand on Samantha's shoulder while they prayed. She returned to her seat feeling lighter. Seanna was already there and took her mother's hand as she sat down.

On the ride home they chatted about the service and the Pastor and his family. Soon talk turned to what Trisha would make for lunch and what to do with the rest of their afternoon. Bryce suggested hiking and Seanna was game. Leal mentioned that he hadn't gotten a chance to go since early spring and thought that Trisha would be game if Daffyd was feeling up to staying alone.

"I could stay behind. I am not a big hiker. I love to walk, but on a flat surface, preferably in seventy degree weather. Do you think that Daffyd would mind having me around instead of Trisha?" she offered.

"He seemed to be feeling pretty good. Really you'd only have to be there just in case he took a turn. We could take the walkie-talkies so you could reach us if you needed to. We'll ask Uncle Daffyd when we get home," suggested Bryce.

Trisha had lunch all set up when they got back. She had made a pile of sandwiches and a big bowl of fresh garden greens with cucumbers and tomatoes. The table was long and would fit all six of them at once. The kitchen-dining area also had windows facing the pool. The sun was facing the opposite side of the house so the rooms stayed cool in the summer and warm in the winter. There was a low vase full of fresh flowers in the middle. Daffyd was at the table joking with Trisha when they came in.

"Go ahead and change and wash up. I am just finishing up some soup for Daffyd." Trisha shooed them towards the stairs.

Soon they were munching away and Daffyd was sipping his soup. The talk was light and fun. It was obvious to the girls that their hosts all liked to tease each other. Trisha and Samantha were washing up the dishes while the rest were still sitting around the table. It wasn't long before they were full and talking about hiking. Trisha and Samantha joined them again and Bryce told his uncle about Samantha's offer to stay. Daffyd was more than willing to let Trisha and Leal both go hiking with the youngsters.

"I really don't need a baby sitter. Trisha just likes to smother. Besides I fully intend to go back to bed and catch up on some reading. I shouldn't be any bother," he explained.

"Now you have taken away my excuse for not going," said Samantha with a pretend pout.

"In that case...maybe you should stay. You never know when I might get a sudden craving for ice cream," he joked.

"That settles it then. I won't be here to 'smother' you and you might get that ice cream that the doctor's say you can't have after treatment," Trisha said.

"Well...if doctor's orders are no ice cream, then I think I would have to back Trisha up on that one," said Samantha.

"There is some raspberry sherbet in the freezer if you are a good boy," offered Trisha.

"Well, now that you've taken care of the details, can we go?" asked Bryce. "Do you have any hiking shoes, Seanna?"

"No, but would a good pair of tennies work?" she asked.

"That's what I wear. It's just too hot for hiking boots in the summer," said Trisha.

"We won't go anywhere too steep. Just around the hills," said Leal. "I better go find those walkie-talkies."

"Don't forget sunscreen," Samantha said to her daughter.

"I think ours is gone," she answered.

"I have some you can use. We keep a lot around here. I am not supposed to go outside without it," offered Daffyd.

"I'll go get some and you may want to change into some jeans. Some of the brush is pretty gnarly," said Bryce.

The hikers scattered to get changed and grab supplies, leaving Samantha and Daffyd still sitting at the table. Samantha admired the view and asked a few questions about the property. Soon the hikers made their way through, grabbing water bottles and some granola bars. Leal and Bryce loaded it all into their backpacks along with the sunscreen. Leal gave Samantha a quick lesson on how to use the walkie-talkies and they were off.

"Have fun and be careful," said Samantha.

"Call us if you need anything," said Trisha.

"Well I can hear that book calling me," said Daffyd, making no move to leave.

"What are you reading?" asked Samantha.

"I am about half way through 'The Two Towers' by Tolkien," he answered.

"Oh, I love those books. I read them the first time in junior high. Of course, most of it went right over my head, but I became hooked. I think I have read them probably a dozen times," said Samantha.

"Well this is my first time. I saw the movies a while ago. Bryce bought them for me. I kind of felt a little like poor Frodo. So for my birthday in April, Bryce bought me the whole set, including 'The Hobbit'. It seems like it is taking me forever to read them. I think they help me chin up when I am feeling sorry for myself," he explained.

"Me too. I have read them so many times, but I still cry when one of the little hobbits shows great courage or something sad happens. I liked the movies; they stayed pretty true to the story, as much as they could in a short amount of time anyway. Last time I read them was about five years ago. I was having a hard time with my job. I know it is all make-believe, but they still encourage me to hang in there and be strong," she said.

"Well, I know you aren't going to be here long, but you are welcome to read my copies while you are here," offered Daffyd.

"I could probably finish the Hobbit. I'm a very fast reader. I have loved books every since I was little. I was reading college level by the time I was in fifth grade. I think that is part of the reason I thought I would like to teach."

"Why don't you come upstairs with me and I will get it for you," said Daffyd.

Daffyd had to take the stairs very slowly. I should have had Bryce or Leal give me a hand before they left. I sure don't want to ask this little woman to help me...He faltered on the next step and Samantha reached out and took his arm. All he could do was swallow his pride and allow her to help. She ended up being stronger than he thought. Her grip was tight enough to help, but gentle enough not to hurt. Some of those nurses in the hospital practically bruised him when they lent a helping hand.

When they got into Daffyd's room he went to a book shelf and pulled out the book for Samantha. His was on the table by his king sized bed. Daffyd's room was done in dark wood, almost black. His furnishings were mostly navy blue. He only had one painting on the wall, and it was of a big ship with sails flung wide on a stormy sea. Off to one side of the ship there was a small break in the cloud with a feeble ray of sunlight breaking forth. Samantha could see a large bathroom off of one wall, and again there were the big windows with the view. Daffyd's room was on the same side as the pool. The curtains were open and the room was bright enough without the lights on.

"Thanks for the book. How will you get a hold of me if you need me?" she asked.

"I guess I didn't think of that. I should have asked Trish to leave her pager. You could read in here. That chair is pretty comfortable. Or I could yell like a banshee..."

"If you don't mind, I could read in here. It's a nice quiet place to enjoy a book," she accepted.

Daffyd crawled into bed and turned on the light that was on the table next to his bed. Samantha settled into the chair on the other side of the room putting her feet up on the ottoman. It was bright enough that she didn't need a light. Soon they had forgotten all about each other and were engrossed in the adventures of Tolkien's imagination. After about an hour Samantha was giggling, and Daffyd was sniffling.

"Let me guess...let's see, book two...they just found Gandalf?" asked Samantha.

"Nope, Théoden just took up his sword again," he wiped his eyes and blew his nose loudly. "And what's so funny?"

"Bilbo, he stumbles into the strangest things, and all he wants is his hole back in the shire," she said.

"Ok, I think I need to give my emotions a break," she laughed.

"How about some sherbet?" he asked.

"Taking a breather sounds good, one scoop or two?"She asked.

"I better just do one."

Samantha returned with two bowls, one with a lonely scoop of sherbet in the middle and the other with a generous helping of chocolate ice cream in it. She handed Daffyd his and sat in the chair closest to his bed.

"Yours looks better than mine," he noticed.

"Sorry, I guess I shouldn't tempt you, but when I saw this I couldn't pass it up. I've never been a real sherbet fan," she apologized.

"Me neither," he mumbled.

Samantha just laughed and pretended to hide her bowl from him while she took a big bite.

"Now you're just being mean," he whined.

Daffyd took his time with his bowl, making sure it was settling in his stomach. So they both ended up finishing at about the same time. Samantha got up and helped herself to the Kleenex box wiping her mouth with one. She reached her hand out for his bowl and Daffyd handed it to her. He tried to cover a big yawn, but Samantha noticed.

"I think I will go take a nap. That seems to be my usual Sunday afternoon tradition. You could just yell like a banshee if you need me," she said.

"I think that naps are my daily tradition." He said with another yawn. "I can project my voice pretty well; it's part of the territory."

"What territory?" asked Samantha.

"Being sick and having to yell for help." Daffyd realized he had slipped up and tried to cover. "Why do you think Trisha got the pager?"

Samantha just laughed and carried the bowls to the door. Then she remembered the book and grabbed that as well, tucking it under her arm.

"Sweet dreams..." she said.

"You too..." he answered, shutting off the light.

About an hour later, the hikers returned to a silent house and found both of them fast asleep.

"I guess all is well," said Trisha as she softly shut Daffyd's door.

# **Chapter 7**

# All the Worlds a Play

Monday morning dawned with bright promise of a warm summer day. Daffyd's delivery of fireworks would arrive before noon. He spent a pretty penny to get them at the last minute and get them delivered. But he was looking forward to showing off to his new friends. He had explained to Bryce, before dinner the day before, the events that led up to their weekend guests. His nephew was surprised that Daffyd had even stopped to help, let alone ask them to stay. He wasn't able to fully explain his motives because he didn't quite understand himself what had possessed him. But he told Bryce that the girls had no idea who he really was and that he wanted to continue letting them think he was just plain Daffyd Sayvage.

They had all spent a relaxed evening together outside roasting marshmallows and making some s'mores. Seanna had asked Bryce a million questions about college. They were getting along great. Samantha had been quiet and he thought it might be embarrassment for sharing those personal things with him at the pool. But he had promised himself to show them all a great weekend.

Samantha woke to the sound of her daughter's soft tapping on her door. Wow, she had slept like a baby. She called for Seanna to come in and scooted over to make room in the bed. Her daughter slipped in beside her plumping the pillow against the headboard so she could partially sit.

"Are you gonna' sleep all day," she asked.

"I thought I was on vacation," Samantha stated.

"Did you ever think our vacation would have been at such a fancy place as this? A pool, great food, great accommodations and now a hot guy. I'd say it's about perfect, minus the whole cancer issue and the cost of the car repair," said Seanna.

"So you think Bryce is hot, huh?" she asked her daughter.

"Sure, don't you? It's ok to think someone is nice looking, Mom. That doesn't mean I am in love with the guy. We just met. He is super nice and he doesn't even try to flirt or act like he's all that. He's a Christian too. He talked to me a little about his parents. They were missionaries in South America. Bryce said his dad and his uncle were both raised in a Christian home. He doesn't know exactly why Daffyd left it all behind, but he said he was standing on that scripture about raising up a child in the way he should go, and when he is older he won't depart from it. But doesn't it seem like he's already departed?"

"You can always come back. I think if the seeds are planted when you are young, at some point those seeds bear fruit. You know that I left God for a while after I got pregnant with you. It wasn't until your Dad convinced me to start going to church again that I came back to Him. It's never too late to turn back," answered Samantha.

"I still don't know how he got all his money. Bryce changed the subject when I asked and he didn't look very comfortable. Do you think he got it through something shady?" asked Seanna.

"I think that Leal and Trish wouldn't be around if that was the case. He seems nice enough. I talked to him a little out by the pool yesterday. He doesn't seem like the criminal type. But then my only experience with criminals is from watching them on TV."

"You have lived a pretty sheltered life, Mom." Her daughter laughed.

"What! No I haven't."

"Ok, so then you can tell me, let's see...what is the hottest sitcom on TV right now?"

"Seanna, you know I hate those," said Samantha with a frown.

"Who was the star of last year's number one movie?" Seanna tried again.

"Was that the one we watched on DVD about the couple that meets at the beach?" asked Samantha.

"Yep," said Seanna.

"Let me think...her name is Julie something..."

"Oh, give up Mom. You just don't keep up with what's going on in the world. But that is perfectly fine. I love you just the way you are. Old fashioned and ignorant." Samantha pulled her pillow out from under her head and smacked Seanna with it.

"Ok, get out of here so your ignorant mother can get up." With that she gave Seanna a shove and she fell out of bed laughing.

"Take your time. I am going to go have breakfast with the hottest guy in Montana."

Samantha continued to chuckle as she got up and got ready. She felt rested for the first time in months. The no pressure atmosphere of being around virtual strangers was refreshing. She didn't have to put on any kind of a show. Is that who I really am, someone who fakes her way through her day and her life? Was I ever myself around Richard? Or was I just who I thought he wanted me to be? Seanna knows the real me...doesn't she? Samantha gave herself a shake and left her room determined to just be herself, the good, the bad and even the ugly. No more faking it.

Everyone was still in the kitchen lounging over cups of coffee and glasses of juice. Trish had set out some fruit and freshly baked banana muffins. Samantha poured herself a cup and sat in the empty seat across from Daffyd. Seanna was next to Bryce, of course. Trisha and Leal were seated across from the kids. Daffyd had been talking to Leal about the fireworks delivery and Trish was discussing plans for outside grilling. Today was the big day. They planned on hanging out in the pool, grilling out and fireworks after dark. Samantha was just getting ready to take a bite of her warm muffin when she noticed the shirt that Daffyd was wearing. It said 'Beloved Uncle'.

She motioned to him with her muffin and said, "Nice shirt." Everyone looked at Daffyd and he raised his arms so they could see the writing.

"My favorite Nephew gave it to me this morning," said Daffyd.

"That's what his name means. 'Beloved.' I am just reminding him of who he is. Plus I had to replace that other one I hated that said 'Uncle Savage'," declared Bryce.

"Oh!" Seanna blurted, and then quickly covered her mouth, her eyes wide.

"What's the matter?" asked Samantha.

"Nothing...my um, coffee was too hot," mumbled Seanna.

"That's right. Daffyd or David means 'beloved'. I talk about the meaning of names with my students. My name means 'listener' or 'told by God' my middle name is Anna and has the same meaning as Seanna's and that is 'God is gracious'," said Samantha.

"I searched out the meaning of my name and it just means 'freckled or dotted'...real glamorous," said Bryce.

"And you don't even have any, freckles or dots," said Seanna smiling.

"Now I am going to have to look up our names, Leal, and see what they mean," Trisha said.

"I already know. It means 'faithful'. Mom said she purposely named me that so that unlike my father, I would grow up to be a faithful man."

"So I am the only one who doesn't know what my name means," pouted Trisha.

"It probably means 'little bossy woman'," said Daffyd.

"I say 'woman who can cook'," volunteered Bryce.

"Actually it means 'generous and likable'," corrected Samantha. "I had a student named Trisha."

"So true! That's me!" said Trisha.

"Well, miss likable, can you be generous and hand me another of your banana muffins?" asked her husband.

"You are so faithful in your pursuit of good food," said Daffyd.

Soon they were making puns out of all their names and their meanings. Nobody was in a hurry to leave the cheerful table. Once again Samantha laughed until her stomach hurt. Finally, they ran out of ideas and sat around chuckling.

"I better get out there and mow some brush down so we have a safe place to light up our fireworks tonight," said Leal as he reluctantly got up.

"I'll clean up this mess," offered Samantha.

"Me too," said Seanna.

"Didn't you want to take Seanna out for a drive to see the country?" asked Daffyd.

"That would be great! I have wanted to take some pictures of the mountains," exclaimed Seanna.

"I'll help your mom in the kitchen. I think I remember how to do dishes," said Daffyd shooing the kids out of the kitchen.

"Well, if you two can handle kitchen duty, I'll go work in the flower beds," Trisha said as she too left the table.

Bryce and Seanna took off into the back roads and mountains. It was a gorgeous day for a drive. They chatted and made small talk. Bryce acted as tour guide and told her what he knew about the area. Soon they decided to head to town for munchies. They popped into the local grocery store and stopped by a fruit stand and grabbed some fresh peaches. Bryce suggested taking them to the park and relaxing in the shade for a while. The park had several shady spots and the greenest grass Seanna had ever seen, even in rainy Washington and lush Wisconsin. Soon they were perched on a picnic table and the conversation switched from small talk to the kind that people use to really get to know one another.

"So Trish tells me that your dad passed away recently," stated Bryce.

"Yep, a few months ago. Now it's just me and mom."

"Both of my parents were killed in a plane crash three months before I graduated high school. It's been pretty hard. I am the only kid, so now it's just me, my grandparents and Uncle Daffyd. My mother's parents both passed away when I was younger. It's funny how a family can just whittle down to just a few people," explained Bryce.

"I never met my real dad. Dad, well Richard, was my step-dad. He was the only Dad I ever knew and he treated me like his own. Neither one of my parents had siblings, and I am an only child. I guess my birth father may have other kids, but it doesn't really matter," said Seanna.

"Do you ever wish that you had brothers or sister?" asked Bryce.

"Sometimes I used to...but most of the time it was nice getting all the attention. Money wise, things would have been harder if our family would have been bigger. Why, do you wish you had siblings?" she asked.

"Not any more. When I was little I did. My parents adopted me when I was eight. I was in foster care. I used to ask my parents to get me a little brother. But their being missionaries also meant money was short and it would have been harder with them being overseas."

"What happened to your real parents?" she asked.

"I don't consider my birth parents as real...my birth mom had drug issues and I never had a dad. I was five when I ended up in the foster care system. The best thing that ever happened to me was getting adopted. They started out as foster parents. I was their first placement and they decided they wanted to keep me. That was the beginning of our family and the end of their foster care."

"What happened after your parents were in the accident?"

"I was living with my grandparents during my senior year of high school. They wanted me to get a regular diploma. When Mom and Dad were killed I stayed there until I finished high school. My parents will named Uncle Daffyd as my guardian. We were all pretty surprised...including him. Uncle Daffyd wasn't exactly on speaking terms with us all. He was living his life so differently than we were. But he came to my graduation, what a circus that was...and I stayed with him until I started college in the fall. Now I visit whenever I can. He's a great guy despite being stubborn and opinionated."

"Can I ask you something about your Uncle?" asked Seanna.

"Sure..." said Bryce.

"Is he James Savage the rock star?" she asked.

"How did you find out?" Bryce asked with a worried look.

"Well...he's super rich, he looked kind of familiar, but I guess I figured it out when you guys were talking about the 'Uncle Savage' t-shirt. I still wasn't too sure. Right before I left, I asked Trisha if I could use her computer and I googled him. The article said he had pretty much gone into hiding. They were speculating everything from drug rehab to death. The pictures looked like him only with long blond hair. And just now, you said his coming to your graduation was a circus."

"Does your mom know?" he asked.

"My mom doesn't know anything about music other than Christian or Classical. She's probably never heard of him. But she does think all rock stars are slimy drug addicts and Satan worshippers. So, no, I didn't tell her. Obviously he isn't any of those things."

"No, he never did drugs, but he did allow everyone to think that. That's one of the things that he and my dad fought about. Dad didn't understand why he would allow people to think he was someone that he wasn't. He never got into the party and drug scene. The Tabloids had a hay day with him. Always trying to catch him with some groupie, or find some dirt to come up with. When they couldn't and just started inventing stuff, he never said a word about it. Even his music lyrics implied a wild life style.

He can sing and he can play just about any instrument. The rest of the family all believe that God gave him those talents to glorify Him. But Uncle Daffyd used them to get rich. He ended up wearing himself out and having terrible anxiety attacks. For awhile he couldn't even leave the house. He hated being around strangers and in crowds, which is pretty hard in his line of work. That's why I was so surprised that he asked you and your mom to stay."

"Yeah, I read some of the stuff they wrote about him, and that's why I wasn't completely sure that it was him. He just seems so opposite of all the junk they said," said Seanna.

"Now he just hides out. He didn't want anyone to know he was sick. He didn't even tell my grandparents. He fired his agent and all of his road crew and staff. The only one he kept was Trisha. She was just his personal assistant before. Now he couldn't make it without Trisha and Leal. His life has gone from bad to worse. I'm all he has. He never married and, as far as I know, never even had a serious relationship. The worst part of it all is that really he is hiding from God and he doesn't even realize it," explained Bryce.

"Have you tried to talk to him about it?" she asked.

"He refuses. It was either drop the subject or not come home. I love him and can't leave him, so we don't talk about it. I still get preachy sometimes," he smiled, "but I am hoping that between Trisha, Leal and I we can love him back to God."

"So how does he keep everyone around here from knowing who he is?"

"Well, some of the people know him as Daffyd Sayvage. That's his real name. His stage name is actually his middle name, James, and the Americanized version of our Welsh name, Savage. Those that do know who he is keep quiet because he does so much for the town. He built a whole children's wing on the hospital where he gets his treatments. He brought in all this playground equipment for this park and the local school. He gives into the community and the city father's know to keep everyone hushed up. I guess you could say that he 'buys' their silence. Quite the family secret, huh?"

"Wow, it's all crazy. Do your friends know?"

"Nope. How many friends do you think I would have if they knew who my guardian was?" He said as he shook his head.

"Tons!" she laughed. "It's kind of sad though. Don't you think?"

"Such a waste of a life," he answered. "So, how about you, is your big secret that your dad isn't your dad?"

"Everyone who knows us knows that. Not a secret at all. I was old enough to remember their wedding and everything. The only family secret is that my Dad, my step-dad, not my real dad, might have been gay," she stated.

"What? No way," he countered.

"I don't think my mom knew. But I always thought something was different between my friend's dads and mine. It's hard to explain...but I am pretty sure he was. Dad was great. He really loved me and mom, but he was not very 'manly' if you know what I mean. Anyway, I guess I'll never know for sure. But I am sure that if he was really gay, after he married mom that he did his best to live straight. He never looked at guys or anything weird. But he also never looked at women either. So that's my big secret. But yours is more fun!" she joked.

"Yeah, a blast. Being the nephew of a super rich rock star does have its advantages though."

"Like what?" she asked.

"Like spending vacations at the Mountain Home, having my college paid for, driving a nice car, not having to worry about money, you know all that stuff," Bryce answered.

"Now having college paid for, that would be nice. I am still trying to figure that all out. I did get some grant money and one small scholarship, but Mom and I are both going to have to scrimp to make it work. Just my books alone cost more than what she makes in a month. I feel sorry for her, but she insists that not going to college is not an option. If Dad had been smarter about money, or just not been so soft with everyone with a sob story, things might have been different. By the time he died, the store was going under and he had even put a second mortgage on the house. We basically lost the store. There was only enough money to bury him and for us to make this trip. We called this trip our last hurrah before tightening up the belt for fall."

"I am sure it will all work out. Just keep your chin up," he said.

"Wow, it's getting late. We better head back," said Bryce looking at his watch. "And, hey, can you just pretend that my Uncle isn't anyone famous?"

"Sure, to me he is just that rich good Samaritan that helped us in a scrape," she said.

Samantha and Daffyd got to work cleaning off the table and putting things in order. Daffyd moved a little slower than Samantha but they worked side by side. Standing at the sink, one washing, and one drying, Samantha commented that Daffyd was looking better. It had only been two days and he already had some color back in his cheeks. There was something comforting about standing two at the sink and setting things right.

"You are looking better," said Samantha.

"I feel better. Usually the treatments knock me down for a week. It's nice to be able to be up and moving around. Even sitting by the pool yesterday was a treat. I'll probably have to take a nap before we go out to celebrate, but that is better than spending the whole day in bed."

"How often do you have to take the chemo?" she asked.

"I have to go back in two weeks. They have decided to be more aggressive with it."

"How long have you been fighting this?"

"It's been over two years since I first got sick. At first I just thought it was the flu. I was run down and just couldn't seem to get over it. Trish insisted I go to the doctor. They did a bunch of tests, and the rest is history."

"Is it curable?" asked Samantha.

"If caught early enough. I was already stage three when the doctors found out. Now I am stage four. I did go into remission for a while, but it didn't last."

"I am really sorry Daffyd. Have you ever been prayed for?"

"Trish, Leal and Bryce say they pray for me daily. Much good it does," Daffyd bit out.

"Sometimes God allows us to go through some things that in the end will benefit us. We don't see the big picture," she said.

"Look, Samantha, I know we don't really know each other, and you may have strong faith, but I just don't buy all the crap. I was raised by Christian parents who loved us and were great parents. My brother was a Christian and even served God as a missionary, but God still took him and his wife and left Bryce without parents. He still gave me cancer despite all the time my parents spent on their knees praying for us boys. So just keep your beliefs to yourself." Daffyd tossed the towel on the counter and left the kitchen.

Samantha finished drying the dishes. She was close to tears. She had offended her host, now things would be uncomfortable the rest of the day. How sad that anyone could believe that God caused cancer, or 'took' people by a horrible accident. Lord, he just doesn't know you. I pray that he comes around to you and that you would heal his body. Make a miracle Lord, so that there is no doubt that it was you. And God, help me to make things right so that the rest of our stay here will be as nice as it has been. Give me the words to say.

Samantha finished up the kitchen and went to find Daffyd. He was in a big stuffed patio chair watching Trisha working down the hill in one of the flower beds.

"Can I sit?" she asked.

Daffyd motioned to one of the chairs, but didn't answer.

"I just wanted to say I am sorry. I disagree with you, but I shouldn't have pushed. Seanna says that sometimes I can be pushy. And you're right we don't really know each other and I have no right to speak into your life. Can we agree to disagree on this and just not talk about it for the rest of the day? We should be leaving tomorrow and it would be nice if we can just enjoy ourselves. You can forget all about us after we are gone." Samantha apologized.

"Samantha, I shouldn't have blown up at you. I am pretty touchy about that subject. In fact I have asked Trish and Leal not to discuss religious matters at all around me. Bryce is harder; I don't pay him to stay. There's no excuse for being rude. So I'll forgive and forget if you can do the same," said Daffyd.

"Agreed. But I do have to say one thing more, it's not religious," she held up her hand to stop him from commenting. "I don't think Trisha and Leal stay because you pay them. You guys seem like a family to me. Seanna even mentioned it."

"You're probably right. I don't think you could pay them enough to put up with me. I am just used to people wanting something from me, or sticking around for the benefits. I guess I forget that all people aren't 'users'. That's one reason it has been so refreshing to have you and Seanna around. You aren't here to get something from me."

"Well...I think that's very nice of you, but we are getting a great deal from you. You've wined and dined us since we've been here. And now you've included us in your Fourth of July fun."

"But you didn't come looking for it. It was all by a freak chance. You didn't come here with any expectations. I can just relax and be myself," Daffyd explained.

"You know I was just thinking the same thing this morning! I don't have to be 'fake' around you all," said Samantha.

"You don't seem the fake-y type."

"That's because you haven't seen the fake me. At home I am the teacher, the good wife, the perfect mother. Before that I was the straight 'A' student and the perfect daughter. I was never given a chance to make mistakes or just to be human. Then when I did make a mistake all hell broke loose. I decided this morning that no matter what happens, I am going to be real. The good, the bad and the ugly!" Samantha explained.

"So we are more alike than we thought," said Daffyd.

"I guess so..."

"Are you excited about finishing the rest of your trip home?" he asked.

"To be honest, only a little. I am not in a big hurry to get home. Seanna and I were just talking about that. If we had just gone straight home we would be in the empty house and reminded of Richard. Not that we have forgotten him or anything, but at least we are occupied with other things. And since I am not being fake anymore...I am not looking forward to teaching this year."

"Why's that?"

"I think that I never really loved it. I just picked a major in college. I was so young and was trying to raise Seanna by myself and was thinking of summers and holidays off with her. Don't get me wrong, it is rewarding and the kids are great...but I don't think it's what I am really meant to do."

"Then don't," said Daffyd.

"It's not that simple. I have to support myself somehow, and now Seanna is going to college. She plans on working, even with the scholarship and grant; it will still be pretty tough. Plus, it would take a while for them to find someone to replace me. I work for a small Christian school. Funding isn't huge and they can't pay a lot. I have debated over the years about going to work for the public school system, but that's almost scary these days. If I have to work at teaching at least I'd like to be where the kids are better behaved and the parent's are on the same page we are," she said.

"I guess I have gotten used to having my own way so often that I forget everyone doesn't have as many options as I do."

"Can I ask you something personal?" asked Samantha.

"Is it a religious question?"

"No," said Samantha laughing.

"Since you're being open and honest I guess I can to. What do you want to know?" asked Daffyd.

"Obviously you have money...and I was wondering ...how..."

"How I got it? I guess you could say I marketed an idea and some talent and got rich off of it," he answered.

"Do you have to work at it anymore, or are you retired?" she continued.

"Well I guess you could say I am in a forced retirement until my health improves, but I am still making money off of my venture. You look like you don't like my answer," David said with a frown.

"I guess what I really wanted to know is if you came into it all legitimately and honestly. Sorry that sounds so rude."

Daffyd just laughed and said, "A lot of hard work and sacrifice earned me this money and it was totally legit."

"I really am sorry... we were speculating and I guess I let my imagination get away with me. I didn't think you looked like the gangster type. You just never know these days. Does it bother you to be away from work?"

"Not really. I mean, I love what I do, but not all the crap that goes with it. Before I got sick, I was pushing myself too hard, trying to live up to all the expectations, just like you were talking about. I was having pretty bad anxiety attacks and some days I couldn't even perform...um at work," Daffyd caught himself.

"So you have a career that you love, and you're not even thirty... I am still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and I am pushing forty. My perfect put together life seems to be coming apart at the seams. Maybe it has always been a mess and I just pretended it wasn't. Why do people do that, do you think?" asked Samantha.

"For me it's a two sided sword. On one side I don't want to disappoint. On the other I don't want to admit that I might have made some bad choices," said Daffyd.

"I think you are right. I made a choice all those years ago to be a teacher. Then I made a choice to marry the first man who was kind to me. Both were probably not the best choices for me. Now Richard is gone and teaching is getting old, and I have to face up to those choices. It all started with the choice to ignore the warnings and getting pregnant in high school. Of course I can't regret that one, because of Seanna. I wouldn't change having her for anything. But my life was suddenly on a course that I didn't seem to be able to control. Doing what I thought was right ended up being a compromise." Samantha was thinking all of this through for the first time.

"Was your marriage...bad?" asked Daffyd quietly.

"No, well...I guess that depends on how you look at it. Richard was so kind. He was a good listener when I first met him. I told him about my problems and he seemed so much older and wiser than me. He was good to me and accepted me for who I was. He also was completely smitten by Seanna right from the start. But after we were married I started noticing things that I hadn't before..." Samantha paused, not sure if she dared speak it all out loud.

"Was he cheating?" prompted Daffyd.

"Oh, no. He was faithful...I guess it was just that he never talked about himself, how he was feeling or what his life was like growing up, nothing. Our conversations all evolved around me and Seanna or the store. I practically knew nothing about him. Oh, I could tell you his favorite movie, or food, where he liked to get his hair cut, that kind of stuff. But I never knew the real Richard. After a few years I ended up just like him. I stuffed my feelings; we pretended everything was ok and just put on a happy face."

"You're sure he was pretending. What if he just didn't know how to talk about himself?" asked Daffyd.

"I guess I was willing to believe that for a long time. But when we went to his father's funeral, Richard's mom told me some things that made it all clear. He was living a life of lies. Pretending to be someone he wasn't. I just can't talk about it. Not yet it's still all too painful..."

"I am sorry..." said Daffyd as he handed her a Kleenex.

Samantha hadn't even realized she was crying.

"Look at me, blubbering like a baby. You probably think I am silly," she said.

"Not at all, you've been through a lot," he said.

"So have you and you're not blubbering on."

"I save all of my crying for bed. What else am I going to do when I can't sleep?" He joked.

"Thanks for listening anyway. I think I am going to go and help Trisha in the garden," she said. "So...I guess I'll see you later."

"Yep, grilling and fireworks!"

# **Chapter 8**

# Fireworks

Later that day, they all spent a relaxing evening around the pool. The air was still warm and they ate and swam until everyone was tired. Just before dusk Bryce, Seanna, and Leal brought out the fireworks. There were boxes and boxes of them. Leal put the kids in charge of reading through all the instructions and hauled them all over to the area that Leal had mowed down. Samantha and Trisha moved chairs and snacks to the viewing area and last of all, Leal helped Daffyd to get comfortable in one of the lounge chairs. Trisha fetched a warm blanket for Daffyd for the evenings tended to get chilly. Bryce and Seanna had a grand time planning out which fireworks to start with and which ones to save for the grand finale. Leal drug a garden hose out, just in case, and they all watched as the two youngest lit some small 'snakes' and 'poppers'.

Soon the sun was setting. Daffyd, Trisha, and Samantha got comfortable and allowed Leal to supervise the show. Bryce was quite the gentleman and allowed Seanna to light the first one. Soon they were ooh-ing and aah-ing over the beautiful colors and different shapes and sounds. Even though Daffyd was tired beyond belief he didn't want to miss a thing. The air was finally cooling. Trisha had run for some more drinks earlier and had thought to grab herself a light sweater. The three firework handlers were staying warm with all the excitement and moving around, and Daffyd was snuggled into his blanket. Daffyd noticed that Samantha was chaffing her arms and curling up in her chair trying to stay warm.

"If you are cold, you could scoot your chair over. There is room for both of us under the blanket," Daffyd invited.

Samantha pushed her lounge chair right up against Daffyd's and he handed her one side of the blanket. In short time they were both covered with their perspective halves. She was much warmer and was able to enjoy the night without shivering. Conversation was limited with all the noise and the flashing of the fireworks, but Samantha was enjoying the night, especially the closeness of sitting next to Daffyd. Why is it I feel more intimate with Daffyd under this warm blanket, than all the years I shared a bed with Richard? We aren't even touching. Samantha spent a few minutes analyzing her feelings. She wasn't attracted to Daffyd. She definitely was not looking for romance. So why the comfortable feeling of intimate companionship? Was she that starved for affection that just sitting next to a man felt so good? A cancer ridden, exhausted man at that? She finally decided it didn't matter why, she was going to enjoy her evening!

Daffyd on the other hand knew exactly why he was enjoying Samantha snuggled in on the other side of his blanket. From the moment she came into the movie room the first night, he had been intrigued by her. She was so much different than the women he ran into in his line of work. She was simple and honest and totally refreshing to be around. He knew they would have to leave soon, but he was determined to enjoy their company for as long as he could. As the fireworks continued, Daffyd's mind was running at full speed, despite his tired body. When all was done and the grand finally had played out its last spark, Leal and Bryce had to practically carry Daffyd back to the house and put him in bed. That left the three girls to clean up. Many hands make quick work, and by the time the garbage was picked up, the guys returned to help shift the chairs back to pool side. It wasn't until Samantha was tucked in bed that she realized she hadn't even asked about her car.

# **Chapter 9**

# The Confession

After such a long evening, Daffyd slept late the next morning. Samantha and Seanna had done a quick load of laundry and packed up their bags. They were all sitting in the living room having finished up their breakfast of fruit and toast. Things weren't as comfortable and free as they had been. Knowing you'll be saying goodbye soon and maybe never seeing each other again, made conversation a little stilted. Soon Bryce and Seanna took off to make sure they had gotten all the remnants of the fireworks disposed of and Samantha sat with the couple.

"Are you looking forward to getting back on the road," asked Leal.

"I am trying to believe that we won't be having any more problems with the car. There are a few places that we wanted to see before getting home. But it will be nice to be home and back to our church," she answered.

"I know how you feel. We don't get to go very often with everything going on around here," said Trisha.

"Daffyd doesn't mind your going?" asked Samantha.

"Probably," said Leal, giving his wife a look, "but we aren't going to let him keep us from church. If he is too sick or there are other things going on, we still have our jobs to do. But if we are able, we go. If not we try to catch some good preaching on the internet. We can always listen to our Christian music."

"Is it hard working for Daffyd with his bitterness about all things Christian?" Samantha asked.

"Sometimes, but we do really love Daffyd. Leal and I believe that God has called us here to be with Daffyd. We are praying that he turns his heart to God. So until God tells us different, we stay," answered Trisha.

"The money and the perks aren't bad either," Leal joked. Just then Trisha's pager buzzed.

"It's Daffyd, he must be up now. I'll go see how he is. He put in a long day yesterday and I know he was feeling rough by the time he went to bed."

"I better go too, in case he needs some help," said Leal.

Samantha was left to herself. She had mixed feelings about leaving. She knew she had to get on with her life, but somehow being here was like a vacation from reality. Knowing that the vacation was over also meant that she would have to get back to that reality and face the issues that she was struggling with. She certainly wasn't looking forward to going back to her old life and all of the expectations that went with it. All those years of pretending all was well, pretending to be the perfect wife, that they had the perfect marriage. She wasn't exactly sure if she even knew who she was anymore.

God, is this just part of the grieving process of losing my husband? Or am I really facing a drastic change of life? I know you are the God of second chances, is it really possible to start all over again? I guess I haven't been too sensitive to your voice or I wouldn't have gotten things so messed up to begin with. Help me to let go and let you lead. Help me to be who you really want me to be. She prayed.

It wasn't long before she had the opportunity to test that prayer. About forty-five minutes later Trisha came down and let her know that Daffyd was too tired to come downstairs, but that he wanted to talk to her. She followed Trisha to his room where he was propped in bed and drinking some tea. He indeed looked pale and tired. The past few days of company and celebration had taken a toll on him. Samantha sat in a chair close to his bed and Trisha excused herself.

"Thanks for meeting me here. I'm afraid I overdid it yesterday," said Daffyd.

"It probably hasn't helped to have the extra burden of unexpected company either," ventured Samantha.

"Actually, other than this morning, I think it has helped. This is the best I have felt in a long time, especially during a treatment week. I just should have taken a longer nap yesterday to make up for the late fireworks show. The two of you haven't been any trouble and like I said before, it's been nice for all of us to have some company..."

"That is really the reason I asked you up here. I am afraid that I haven't been completely honest with you. That first night when we had our pajama and comedy night, I decided that Trish and Leal were enjoying having some extra guests, so the next day when I talked to the mechanic...well...I sort of told him there was no hurry. He actually had the part and could have had it done on Saturday. I should have told you, but I knew you wouldn't stay. You were so worried about taking advantage of us." Daffyd didn't know what else to say and was looking at his tea cup.

"So you lied," Samantha stated.

"Yes, I lied," said Daffyd, finally raising his eyes to hers. "But it was for a good cause and I guess I wanted to let you both have some fun and rest after all you had been through. Will you forgive me?" he asked.

"Well, I have to admit I hate lies, but I also have to admit it has been a nice little vacation to spend the long weekend here. We have been quite spoiled and I know Seanna has had so much fun the past few days. So, yes, you are forgiven. I assume the car is ready now?" she asked.

"Yes, I just got off the phone with the garage and it is ready to roll. I had him check out everything and make sure that is was road worthy. I also paid your bill..." He put his hand up to stop her from objecting, "It was the least I could do for the good it has done for Trisha and Leal. Even Bryce has had someone his own age to hang out with. So can you agree to let me do that for you?"

"You know I just prayed about that this morning. I know how you feel about prayer, but I have to say that part of my past was letting my pride stop me from doing what I should. So already I have the chance to swallow my pride and to allow myself to admit that I needed help. I also have to allow others to help me when they can. So...yes. I will let you pay my bill and I will thank you, not only for your great hospitality, but for taking care of my whole car issue. Now, if you don't mind, I am sure Seanna would like to thank you herself before we go. We are already packed and Trisha has even packed our little ice chest full of goodies for the trip. Thank you again Daffyd." Samantha couldn't think of anything else to say so she rose up to leave.

"Wait!" Daffyd reached up to grab her arm and almost spilled his tea, while Samantha quickly sat back down. "There is something else I wanted to talk to you about. I also have had to swallow my pride and learn to ask for help. When I got sick, it was hard at first to have to have someone take care of me like a child again. Well...now I need to ask you to help me. Would you be willing to do something for me if it were in your power to do it?"

"Of course. I'm not sure I could do much of anything for you, but I would be willing to try."

"For the past couple of years Trisha and Leal have been my constant companions. They have worked and cared for me in a way that most family members wouldn't and certainly above and beyond what any employees would. They haven't been away since day one. No vacations, days off or even time away from me, at least not both at the same time. One of them always stays behind, just in case. Since you and Seanna have been here, they have had a little more time to spend together with the two of you pitching in with all that has to be done around here. I was thinking about that after talking to the mechanic and had a pretty good idea. Just now, I mentioned it to Trisha and Leal and they agreed it was a good plan. First let me ask, are you in a hurry to get on the road?"

"There isn't any big rush if there is something you need me to do here," she answered.

"Here's my plan. I was thinking that if you and Seanna could stay another week, that Trisha and Leal could take a little break and get away from here for a few days. Between the two of you and Bryce there wouldn't be much that would need looking after. Granted there may be some days that I would need more help than others. Would you mind playing nurse maid to a big baby occasionally? I won't be having another treatment for a few weeks, so that wouldn't be an issue," Daffyd explained.

"Wow...I don't know what to say. Are you sure you trust us to take Leal and Trisha's place?" she asked bewildered.

"No, not to take their place, just cover all the basics until they get back. I am not sure if anyone has the energy or the will to do all those two do for me. But I trust you and we all seem to get along well. So if you have the time, it would mean a lot for those two to get away. Of course I would have to pay you both for your help," he said.

"No! You've done so much already and you just paid to have my car fixed!"

"But you just said that you would accept that as a gift of help, you know all that stuff about pride..." he reminded her.

"Ok...then you can give us room and board for our help, and you can pay Seanna. She could use the money for books this fall," Samantha countered. "Deal?"

"Deal," Daffyd agreed. "Do you need to ask Seanna first?"

"No, I could tell she really didn't want to leave. She and Bryce have really hit it off, and not in a romantic way at all. They are treating each other like brother and sister. I guess it's because they both were the only child in their families and they are enjoying having a 'sibling' if only for a while. She'll be thrilled to be staying longer and happy about the book money," said Samantha.

Daffyd buzzed Trisha and Leal and they went over all the plans. Seanna and Bryce were both pleased about the arrangements and started making plans for the week. Samantha and Trish spent the rest of the day going over everything that would need to be done while they were gone. Daffyd stayed in bed and with everything settled he was able to drift off to sleep and catch up on some much needed rest. By late afternoon he felt well enough to join them all for dinner.

"I am glad to see you are feeling better. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving tomorrow if you were taking a turn for the worst," Trisha commented.

"I won't let him stay up that late while you are gone," said Samantha.

"And I thought I was going to get a break from smothering for a week," said Daffyd as he rolled his eyes.

"And I thought you said that it was Trisha and Leal that need the break," teased Samantha. Everyone laughed at that, including Daffyd.

"We sure are grateful that you two are staying. It'll be nice to get away for a few days and enjoy each other's company," said Leal.

"Where are you going?" Bryce asked.

"We are going to drive over to Yellowstone and stay in one of their cabins for a few days. Just relax. If my wife remembers how to do that," answered Leal.

"More than likely she'll have you hiking all the trails, so I'd pack some hiking shoes if I were you," said Seanna.

"I just hope that those of us left behind aren't going to miss your cooking too much. I am afraid that I am not as talented in the kitchen as you are," Samantha said.

"I am sure you'll do a fine job. Daffyd can't always enjoy my cooking and Bryce will eat anything. You and Seanna are used to your own cooking, so just make yourself at home and fix whatever you would in your own home," replied Trisha.

"If you need us, we can be back in a couple of hours. We didn't want to venture too far from home just in case. But we're believing that all will be well," said Leal.

"We'll be fine. Uncle Daffyd won't admit it, but God is setting everything up so that we all will have a great week," said Bryce.

"Amen!" said three other voices.

Daffyd just shook his head. He knew when he was defeated.

# **Chapter 10**

# A Helping Hand

Leal and Trisha lost no time getting on the road for their get-a-way. By eight o'clock it was down to just the four of them at the Savage Compound. Daffyd was still in bed, and at nine Samantha was on her way to bring a tray of toast and tea to his room. Bryce had surprised the girls with his famous stuffed omelets for breakfast. Breakfast being the only thing he was good at cooking, he figured he would take the first kitchen duty shift for the week. Samantha, per Trisha's directions made some dry toast and herbal tea for Daffyd. He still seemed to be recovering from the long weekend. She softly knocked on his door, not sure if he had gone back to sleep after letting her know he was awake. He called for her to come in and she found him sitting at a desk next to a big window with another great view of the mountains.

"Good morning, I see you are up and about. Would you like this over at your desk?" she asked.

"Sure..." he seemed a little preoccupied with something he was reading. But by the time she got to the desk he had stuffed the papers into one of the drawers on the side.

"Did you all eat?" he asked.

"Bryce had breakfast ready for us when we got up," she answered.

"Let me guess...he made eggs of some type?"

"Yep, a great omelet. He said his specialty was breakfast but I think he might have been afraid of my cooking after all," she laughed. "So how are you feeling today?"

Daffyd took a big bite of his toast and answered, "I finally feel like I caught up on my sleep. In fact Bryce's omelet sounds pretty good right now."

"I can go and see if he'll whip one up for you," offered Samantha.

"No, I better not push my luck. I'll stick to the toast and tea for now," he answered.

"Is there anything you need me to do this morning? I am not sure exactly what I am supposed to be doing other than house work and some cooking."

"Not anything right now. If you could send Bryce up there are some things I need his advice on. He's not a fully fledged lawyer yet, but he can help me make some business decisions," said Daffyd.

"Then I think I will go do some work in the flower beds and garden. I have Trisha's buzzer if you need me." Samantha said standing to leave.

"Ok, and thanks again for staying," Daffyd said with a smile.

Bryce and Seanna had the dishes done and the kitchen in ship shape by the time she got downstairs. She let him know that his Uncle wanted to see him and asked her daughter if she wanted to go out for some fresh air. Soon the girls were pulling weeds and chatting away. They had a wheelbarrow that was standing by for all the unwanted plants. Samantha had on Trisha's straw cowboy hat, had her hair in a ponytail and hadn't bothered with any makeup that morning. She looked younger than her thirty-five years in shorts and a tank top. This would have been one of the times that people would have mistaken the girls for sisters.

"So how come you look so young, Mom?" asked Seanna.

"I like to think that it's something I have done, but honestly, you know I don't get as much exercise as I should and I don't eat that great. So, I guess I have just been blessed. My Mom looked pretty young. I also think that it's because I am short and have a sort of 'baby face'. When I was in my twenty's I used to hate it that everyone thought I was a teenager. Now I just enjoy it. I think you're going to be the same way. Even though people think we are sisters," answered her mom.

"Bryce said he thought I was sixteen when he first saw me," said Seanna. "I guessed him at exactly his own age, twenty-two. How old do you think Daffyd is?"

"I am not sure. It's hard to tell when people are sick. But if Bryce is twenty-two, then his Uncle has to be at least forty," said Samantha.

"I am pretty sure he's not that old," said Seanna, thinking of the information she had read about him on the internet.

"What makes you think so?"

"Well...Bryce told me that he was adopted when he was like seven or eight. So we can't really use his age to gauge how old his Uncle is," answered Seanna. "I bet he was kind of good looking before he got sick."

"We'll never know since he doesn't have any pictures of himself anywhere. I am guessing he was probably skinny and geeky looking," ventured Samantha. "You know, the nerdy kid with the tape on his glasses."

"Why do you say that?" laughed her daughter.

"We still don't know how he got rich, and I was thinking maybe he invented something, or started some internet company. Those guys were usually the nerdy kids in school. I should know... those were the ones I was friends with. That's why I was so thrilled that your father was interested in me. He was super 'hot' as you say and one of the 'in-crowd' at school."

"It all sounds like a made-for-TV drama to me. I'm glad he left us. He's probably selling cars somewhere with a big boobed blonde wife and rowdy boys," stated Seanna.

"You're funny, but truthfully, you're probably right. The girl he dated before me was blonde and well endowed," remembered Samantha with a laugh.

"I think it is getting too hot to be out here! Let's dump this load and head in," said Seanna, standing and stretching her back.

"Sounds good to me. Daffyd hasn't buzzed but maybe I should see if he needs anything. I feel like we aren't earning our keep," Samantha replied.

"I don't think they expect us to slave away. We are just making it possible for Trisha and Leal to take a break. We are lending a helping hand to someone in need. So don't get all stressed about it," said Seanna.

"Me! Stressed?" Samantha jokingly said, but she knew Seanna was right. She did tend to let things worry her too easily. "I am turning a new leaf, no more stressing. God will take care of what I can't. So, no need to worry. Right?"

"Right!"

Daffyd and Bryce were busy while the girls worked outside. Daffyd had come up with a plan and shared his ideas with Bryce. Though Bryce could give advice, Daffyd would need his lawyer to get everything set up. Bryce completely agreed with his Uncle's plan, especially because it would help his new friend. Soon they had the lawyer on speaker phone and were laying it all out for him.

"So can you get that all set up as soon as possible?" asked Daffyd.

"I'll get right on it. Now what did you say the girls name was?" he asked.

"Her name is Seanna Sheppard. She starts school this fall at the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee. Just remember that this has to be set up in a way that it won't come back to me. Create an organization to help with college for children of teachers. Find a few more to help as well so that it will look legit. These people don't like to ask for help and I want to keep it completely anonymous," Daffyd explained.

"Got it. You just want to help a few less fortunate's get a good education. Ok, I'll give you a call when it is all set up. I will have the information come right from the financial aid office at the school. Take care Daffyd."

"Thanks Mike, you too," Daffyd replied.

"Well, that's that," said Bryce. "Man, I wish I could see her face when she gets the call from the school."

"If Mike gets to it quickly enough you just might. We have a whole eight days left with them here," said Daffyd with a smile.

# **Chapter 11**

# Tender Care

The first few days of Trisha and Leal's vacation went smoothly for all those that were left behind. Samantha, Seanna and Bryce got into a routine. Bryce did breakfast; Seanna lunch and Samantha made dinner. They took turns doing dishes and they all pitched in with the house work. Daffyd even helped with a few small chores like folding laundry. He felt a little weird letting them fold his underclothes. The second afternoon Samantha was in the kitchen washing up some vegetables that she had just picked out of the garden. Daffyd came in and offered to help.

"I am just about done. Why don't you sit down and I'll make you some tea," she replied. "Is there anything special you'd like for dinner? I was thinking of making a soup out of all these fresh veggies and some chicken."

"Sounds good to me. Chicken soup is always good comfort food. My mom used to make it whenever we weren't feeling good," said Daffyd.

"Are you having a rough day?" she asked.

"I am feeling a little ill today. It's the nature of the beast. Sometimes I get the chills and the aches. That's how this all started. I thought it was just a case of the flu...but two years later it's the same old, same old," he answered.

"What can you do for the symptoms?"

"Not much, with all the other junk they pump into me, I just have to tough it out. But it's not too bad today. So can you make biscuits?" he asked trying to change the subject.

"I can do a pretty decent cat head," she said.

"A what head?" he asked with a frown.

"Cat heads, they are a cheaters version of a rolled biscuit. I've never been able to get the hang of the super soft round biscuits. So I do the ones that you mix up and drop them on the pan. They are kind of lumpy and bumpy and my dad always called them 'cat heads'."

"Then would you mind serving some cat heads with your soup tonight? I think there is some more of Trisha's homemade strawberry rhubarb jam left in the fridge too," he asked.

"Oh, that does sound good, hot biscuits with real butter and homemade jam. I think I'll skip dessert and just make extra biscuits," she said.

"I think I'll go and take a short nap before we eat. If I am not down before dinner is done, can you send Bryce up to wake me?" Daffyd asked.

"Will do. Sweet sleep," she said.

Samantha had just put two pans of biscuits in the oven when Bryce and Seanna came in from the pool. She shooed them up to change and forgot to ask Bryce to wake up his uncle. She took off her apron and decided to run up and do it herself while the biscuits were baking. The soup was about done, and the table was already set. She quickly headed upstairs and knocked on Daffyd's door. When no one answered, she cracked the door and peaked in. Daffyd was tangled in the blankets on his big bed. She could see that he was soaked in sweat. She hurried over to the bed and felt his head. It was hot. He was still sleeping but was tossing in the bed. She laid her hand on his chest and tried to wake him.

"Daffyd, can you hear me?" He opened his eyes, but they never focused in on her.

Samantha stuck her head out the door and yelled for Bryce. He came running, pulling his shirt over his head. Seanna came out of her room close behind him and they hurried down to Daffyd's room.

"What's wrong?" asked Bryce.

"He's burning up. He said he felt fluey earlier and he came up to take a nap before dinner. He isn't responding to me," she said with her voice full of concern.

"This has happened before. I'll call the doctor and see if we can give him something to reduce his fever. Could you get some cold water and a wash rag and try to cool him down. We need to get him out of those blankets too," he said as he picked up the phone.

Seanna ran downstairs for a bowl and some ice, while Samantha untangled Daffyd. Then she went to his bathroom for some wash rags, running one under cold water. By the time she got back into the room, Bryce was trying to get his uncle to swallow some pills. Bryce had obviously done this all before. He was able to get the pills in his mouth and Daffyd's reflexes took over from there. The pills were down.

"That should help bring his fever down. The doctor says he can take these every four hours as needed. Did he eat anything today?" he asked.

"He had some tea and toast again this morning. But I can't remember him having anything else," she answered.

"We should see if we can get him cooled down and then try and get him to drink something. When he gets this hot he can dehydrate real quick," said Bryce.

Seanna returned with the bowl and ice. She set it on the table and Samantha wasted no time dipping the cloth in, wringing it out, and laying it on Daffyd's forehead. Bryce grabbed a dry pair of pajamas out of the dresser and started taking Daffyd's wet clothes off. Seanna offered to go and make sure dinner wasn't burning not wanting to get in the way. Soon they had Daffyd in dry pants and opted to leave off the shirt.

"He'll go from hot to cold. So if he gets cold we can just wrap him in the blankets again. But for now we can cool him down better without his shirt," he explained.

They each had a cold rag. Samantha bathed his face and head, while Bryce did his torso and arms. Soon Daffyd calmed and he stopped tossing on the bed. Seanna returned with a bottle of water and let her mom know that she had taken the biscuits out of the oven and turned the soup way down. It took Bryce and Samantha to lift up Daffyd's head as Seanna held the bottle to his mouth. They were able to get him to drink about a fourth of the bottle, before he pushed it away. No sooner had they laid him down and he started shivering. They bundled him up in the blankets and tucked them in around him. After a bit he was lying still and he seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

"He'll probably sleep for awhile now. The fever hasn't broken but the meds will kick in soon," said Bryce.

"Why don't you two go and eat and I'll sit with him," offered Samantha. "I can call you if I need you. I'd hate for all that food to go to waste. He asked me to make the biscuits earlier, now he won't even be able to eat."

"We'll put some away for him. He loves them. These episodes can last a couple of hours or a couple of days. He may be feeling better before the night is over," Bryce explained.

"Should we bring you something, Mom?" asked Seanna.

"Sure as long as he is sleeping, I can have a cup of soup. Butter me a biscuit and put some of Trisha's jam on it too," answered Samantha.

Soon Bryce brought up a tray for Samantha. Seanna had included a thermos with just plain broth for Daffyd for later. Samantha ate at Daffyd's desk, keeping her eye on the patient. He continued to sleep. When the kids were done eating, they came up to see how everything was going. Bryce offered to stay with his uncle while the girls cleaned up and did the dishes. He ran to his room to grab something to read while he was sitting with his Uncle. Samantha left the broth for Daffyd and reminded Bryce to call if he needed them. As the girls finished up dishes, they talked about the events of the afternoon.

"Bryce seemed so calm and I was freaking out. Were you scared, Mom?" asked Seanna.

"When I first saw him I was. But after Bryce came, I remembered what Daffyd said this morning about his cancer having flu like symptoms. This has obviously happened before. Mostly I just feel helpless. Whenever you used to get sick, when you were little, I always felt the same way. All you can really do is make them comfortable and pray. When I was bathing his head I prayed for the fever to leave," answered Samantha.

"That's what I did when I came down to check on dinner too. I knew I could pray out loud and Daffyd wouldn't hear me," said Seanna. "So...now what? Do we just leave Bryce up there to take care of him?"

"I feel like I am not doing my job by letting him do it. I think I'll go talk to him. You two could watch a movie or something tonight and I can stay with Daffyd," Samantha offered.

"Daffyd has tons of movies in his media room. I can make some popcorn and smother it in butter while you go talk to him. If he doesn't want to leave, then you come and watch one with me. Ok?" Seanna asked.

"Sure, one of us will be meeting you there then. Thanks," said Samantha. When Samantha got back to Daffyd's room, Bryce was pacing and Daffyd was still sleeping.

"How is he doing?" she asked.

"I got him to drink some of the broth earlier and a little water. Now he's sleeping like a baby again. He started getting hotter again, so I gave him the meds again. It was half hour early, but that should be fine," he answered.

"Seanna wanted to know if you were up for a movie and popcorn. I could stay with your Uncle," said Samantha.

"If you're sure you don't mind, that would be great. I haven't been able to read much and I am tired of just sitting. I'll check in after the movie."

He made a quick exit while he could and Samantha checked their patient again. She tucked the blankets up around his chin and felt his forehead. He wasn't overly hot so the meds must have kicked in. She picked up the book that Bryce had forgotten and saw that it was a bible, so she sat down and opened up to Psalms ninety-one and started reading.

Bryce and Seanna were in the media room and Seanna was curled up on one of the couches, holding a pillow in her lap, while Bryce was browsing the selection of movies. They were carrying on a running conversation as Bryce held up DVD cases. Seanna would shake her head 'no', make a face, or say 'maybe' to each title. The maybe pile was growing, but they hadn't chosen anything. They were talking about their families again. The conversation started with Seanna remembering going to one of the movies with her dad when she was little.

Soon they agreed on something and Bryce popped it in the player. Seanna had eaten most of the popcorn, so they went back to the kitchen to pop another batch. Before long they were both comfy on the couch and Bryce had the remote in his hand. Just before he pushed play, Seanna asked if he minded waiting for a bit.

"Sure, what's up?" he asked.

"There is something bothering me and I guess I need to talk to someone about it. Talking about Dad has it all bugging me again. Do you feel like letting me unload?"

"Shoot," he said.

"Well it's about Dad." Seanna said as she picked at the pillow in her lap. "I remembered something else."

"And what did you remember?" asked Bryce.

"When I was in grade school I used to walk to the store after school. Mom always had papers to grade and I liked hanging out with Dad. One day I had gotten an 'A' on this science project that he had helped me on, so I ran almost the whole way there. When I got to the store, Dad wasn't at the counter. Whenever he wasn't there, it usually meant he was in his office in the back. So I headed back there and I could hear voices coming from the office. The door was cracked so I peaked in. I shouldn't have listened at the door, but I did."

"There was this guy there and he was sitting across the desk from my dad. He was saying that he had made a mistake and that he wanted Dad to come back with him...somewhere...the guy was crying. Dad was just shaking his head and he looked like he was about to cry. I remember thinking, maybe it's his brother. I had never met any of dad's family and thought that maybe the whole time I had had an uncle or something; you know how little kids think. Then my dad was telling the guy that he had to leave because his daughter would be there soon. The guy said 'you have a daughter!' Like my dad just told him he was an ax murderer or something. It was just weird!"

"Dad told him that he was married to a wonderful Christian woman, and he emphasized both those word. Dad stood up and told him again that he had to leave. He asked him not to come back, that he wished him all the best but that he was not the same person that he used to be. I ran and hid behind one of the racks and watched the guy leave. He was real good looking and looked like the typical gay guy on TV, and he was still crying... a lot."

"How old were you?" he asked.

"I think about seven or eight," she said.

"Maybe you've made a mountain out of a molehill," he suggested.

"Maybe... I don't know. I never talked to him about it. I just felt sick, kind of embarrassed, like I caught him doing something wrong. But if it was what I think it was, then it was all over before my mom...and he told the guy to leave...that should count for something, right?" she said.

"I never met your dad, Sea, so it's hard to say. But I do think that being gay is a choice and if your dad chose to leave that life and then married your mom, that you shouldn't hold it against him. Maybe your mom already knows and just didn't want you to think any less of him. I think maybe you should talk this over with her. Maybe you just misread something all those years ago, or maybe it was just a friend from before he met you guys."

"But what if I bring it up and Mom doesn't have a clue. I just think that would be too much to handle after all that she's gone through," said Seanna.

"I think you should ask God, he'll tell you what you should do. Have you prayed about it before?" he asked.

"Most of the time I'm just asking God for it not to be true, pretty childish I know," she commented. "Why is it hard to deal with this junk about my dad, but so easy to accept your uncle?"

"I guess it's always easier when it's not your family. I'm pretty much feeling the same way about your dad, but have a hard time with Uncle Daffyd."

"I think you're right. Thanks for the advice. I feel better just saying it all out loud. You'd make a great big brother, you know that?"

"Yeah, and you'd be a pretty cute little sis, telling your big bro all your problems, and letting me talk some sense into you," he teased.

"Ok, big bro how about that movie?" she laughed.

Samantha had been reading next to Daffyd for some time when Daffyd finally stirred. "Trisha..." he whispered

"No, it's Samantha," she whispered back.

"Oh...where's Bryce?" he asked a little disoriented.

"He and Seanna are watching a movie. He has been sitting with you most of the day so I told him I'd stay for awhile."

"What are you reading?" Daffyd asked sleepily.

"Bryce's Bible," she answered.

"Can you read Psalms twenty-three?" he asked.

Is he really asking me to read him the Bible? She wondered.

"Of course..." She quickly back tracked to Psalm twenty-three, and softly read, "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever."

"You can keep reading..." he whispered.

Samantha read several Psalms until she realized he was sleeping soundly. She reached over to feel his head. He was completely cool. Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to read your word to Daffyd tonight. I thank you that it will not return unto you void, but it will do what you have set it out to do. Thank you that the fever is gone and that Daffyd will have sweet sleep the rest of the night. Speak to him in his dreams, Lord. Heal his body and his spirit. Thank you for the opportunity to care for Daffyd in his time of trouble. I thank you also that you are keeping me and Seanna in your tender care.

# **Chapter 12**

# Unmasked

The next morning Daffyd woke up to find Bryce asleep next to his bed. The poor kid had tried to scoot two chairs together and stretch out a little. Daffyd's heart warmed at the sight of his nephew's care. He could see by the clock that it was still early, barely five o'clock. What a rough night that was. I remember lying down to take a nap before dinner...guess I missed out on those biscuits I asked for. Then I remember someone reading to me?

"Bryce," he croaked.

"Um...what," answered the sleepy boy.

"Go to bed," laughed Daffyd.

"Uncle Daffyd, how are you feeling?" asked Bryce.

"Just peachy. You can go sleep in your own bed. Thanks for keeping me company, but I'm sure your back is going to complain about it later," said Daffyd. Bryce untangled himself from the blankets and chairs and stretched like a cat. He quickly put everything back where it belonged.

"Do you need me to get you anything before I go?" Bryce asked.

"I have some water here, maybe you could hang around for a second while I see if I can make it to the bathroom without some help..." answered Daffyd. After a few minutes, Daffyd returned to bed and propped himself up with some pillows.

"Did you read to me last night?" Daffyd asked Bryce as he was leaving.

"Nope, maybe Samantha did. She sat with you for the first half of the night," said Daffyd.

"Thanks, was wondering if I just dreamt it or not... now go to bed!"

After Bryce left, Daffyd reached for the water on his night stand and saw that there was a Bible laying there. Was that what she read to me last night? Daffyd opened it up and saw that it belonged to Bryce. He flipped to the psalms and read the same verses that he remembered from the night before. I asked her to read this...man I must have been out of it. How long has it been since I have even opened a Bible? Daffyd took his drink and then settled into his pillows and continued reading while the rest of the household slept.

Samantha came into Daffyd's room later that morning with his usual tea but instead of toast she brought a couple of buttered biscuits with jam from the night before. The girls had let Bryce sleep, finding a note that he had left early in the morning saying that Daffyd was better and that he was going to bed. They took his kitchen turn and cheated having leftover biscuits and coffee for breakfast, making sure to save some for him. The morning was looking dull and overcast. Samantha figured they would have rain before lunch. Daffyd was sleeping and Bryce's Bible was lying next to him on the bed. I thought I put that on the table, thought Samantha. Leaning over to grab the Bible, she laid her hand on his head to check for a fever. Daffyd opened his eyes to find Samantha face to face. He smiled wide and she quickly backed up and gave him a sheepish grin.

"Sorry, was just checking to see if you were normal..." she stammered.

"Is that how they check for that now days?" he joked.

"I meant your temperature," she said clearly embarrassed.

"Well I am glad you didn't have a thermometer in your hand. I hate waking up to that!" He continued to add to her embarrassment. "You are turning a lovely shade of red so I will stop teasing. Actually other than being a little tired, I feel pretty good."

"I'm glad. You gave us quite the scare last night. Well, Bryce wasn't too worried, but Seanna and I were. In her words, she 'freaked'. My daughter isn't cut out for nursing, that's for sure. Now how about some of those biscuits you wanted, do you feel up for that?" she asked.

"At this point I would eat them even if I couldn't keep them down. They even factored in my fever induced crazy dreams last night," he answered as he scooted up into his pillows again. As he pulled up the blankets he acted as if he was looking for something.

"Are you looking for this?" asked Samantha holding up the Bible. This time it was Daffyd's turn to blush.

"Um...I just wanted... Bryce forget he left it in here..." he replied lamely.

"You asked me to read it to you last night, even specifically asked me to read Psalms twenty-three," said Samantha completely enjoying herself.

Daffyd got real serious and told her, "My mom used to read that chapter to Gareth and me when we were scared. I used to have pretty nasty dreams when I was a kid and would be afraid to go to bed. She read it to us so many times that we got to where we could say it along with her. I hadn't heard it for years."

"I find comfort in a lot of the scriptures. There seems to be something for every situation," said Samantha quietly.

"I wish it still worked," said Daffyd.

"Wish what still worked?"She asked.

"Having a verse take away all the fears like it used to," he answered.

"God's word hasn't changed, Daffyd..."

"No, but I sure have. I just can't buy into all that stuff anymore," he said sadly.

"That's where you have it wrong. We don't 'buy into' anything. We just let go and let God speak to our hearts. When we try to figure it all out, we mess things up. I was trying to figure out all this new information about Richard and it has been driving me literally crazy. I decided to just let it go. He was good to us, and he loved us. That's all I need to know right now. I am trusting God to help me work out anything that I need to and to just let the rest go."

"You make it sound so easy," he said.

"It isn't though. The hardest thing is to get past myself, my bitterness and confusion," she explained.

"I decided years ago, that if I needed anything, I would have to get it or do it myself," he stated.

"And how is that working out for you?" she asked quietly. Daffyd just looked at her. She got up and purposely left the Bible on the bed and walked out of the room. I can't argue this with him. You talk to his heart, Lord. Help him to see how much he needs you.

When Bryce finally woke, he made his way to the kitchen, stomach growling. Seanna was there with his laptop on the kitchen table. He had let her use it the day before. She was totally engrossed in what she was looking at and didn't hear him come in. He quietly stepped up behind her to see what could be so interesting. She had a picture up of his Uncle Daffyd. It was an older picture from his early years. He was on a stage, holding a guitar, long hair wet with and flying around his head, his body sweaty, and he had on the tightest possible shiny pants you could find. Seanna had her face all screwed up and he heard her whisper 'gross'.

"Pretty nasty huh?" he said, making her jump in her seat.

"You almost made me pee my pants! What are you doing sneaking around?" she exclaimed.

"I was hungry, and I'm not the one sneaking. What would you have done if I would have been your mom, or Uncle Daffyd?" he asked.

"I'm just curious, that's all. It's all so weird. He just doesn't seem the type. I was just bored and decided to google him again. There are a couple of biscuits left, and I fried some bacon and left it in the oven," she said.

"Thanks, I am starved. I think I'll fry an egg to go with," he said, heading to the fridge.

"You and your eggs," she laughed. "Hey, I should be able to find some videos on here shouldn't I?"

"Tons, but if you wait until I eat, we should go somewhere else, if you don't want your Mom finding out," he offered.

"Your room is too close to his, mine's too close to Mom's. Will we get a signal on the patio?" she asked.

"Yeah, Daffyd made sure that we get it anywhere close to the house."

"Fry that egg, Boy, you can eat it on the patio!" said Seanna.

Samantha left Daffyd and went to her room to pray. After pouring out her heart to God she felt better about her conversation with Daffyd. She looked at the clock and saw that the morning was about gone. Peeping into Seanna's room and finding it empty, she headed downstairs. Walking through the open downstairs, she could see the two kids out on the patio. They had their backs to the house and were looking at Bryce's laptop screen. As she opened the glass doors leading out to the patio, she could hear some loud music coming from the computer. She stood quietly behind them and saw a sweaty young man prancing around a stage, whipping his long blonde hair around as he sang. She stood there for a few minutes until she had enough.

"What in the world are you listening to, Seanna," she asked. Seanna and Bryce both cringed. How had they not noticed the door? They both just sat there not knowing how to answer.

"They are listening to me..." said a voice behind them. All three of them spun around and saw Daffyd standing in the door. Seanna shut the laptop and gave Bryce a quick glance. He just looked his uncle in the eye with a determined look on his face. Daffyd took a seat at the table across from Seanna and Bryce.

"Please, Samantha, sit down with us. There is something I need to explain," Daffyd said wearily.

"You don't look so good, Daffyd, we can wait until you are feeling better, "offered Seanna.

"No, it's something I have to do. I was coming to find your mother to explain it all anyway, and you have just presented an opportunity. I would like the two of you to stay as well, even though you already know the whole story, Bryce," said Daffyd.

"Go ahead..." said Samantha.

"What you just witnessed on that computer was me. I am known to most of the world as 'James Savage' or just plain 'Savage.' Until recently I wrote and recorded that kind of music. You wanted to know how I got my money...well...now you know," he explained.

"You're kidding, right?" asked Samantha, confused.

"No, I am not. I started singing in my teens and had my first number one single at the age of twenty-three. I lived the life of a rock star, touring, recording and concerts, until about three years ago when I started having panic attacks and couldn't go on stage anymore. I was just getting back into the recording studio when I met my new friend 'Mr. Hodgkin's'."

Samantha just sat there. She couldn't take in what he had just said. She looked at Bryce and Seanna. Bryce was still watching his uncle and Seanna nodded her head slowly. How can this be! Can this man that I've spent the last few days with be that man on the screen?

"Do you have anything to say...any questions?" asked Daffyd.

"Exactly what kind of music did you write? What is a 'life of a rock star'?" Were you drinking and doing drugs and all that," she spoke every question that was streaming through her head all in a rush.

"Most of the music I recorded and performed was what I thought my audience wanted to hear, what would sell records. They were what are considered your run of the mill rock song; you know 'sex, drugs and rock and roll'. But no, I did not do drugs, and I gave up all alcohol before I recorded my first album."

"So...you sang about that lifestyle, but didn't participate in it...is that what you are saying?" Samantha was still very confused.

"What he is saying, is that he pretended to live that life, he allowed others to think he did drugs and was the wild rock star," said Bryce's level voice.

"The important thing is that I didn't do the things I sang about," Daffyd defended himself.

"No, the important thing is that you contributed to the ruin of a generation of young people who idolized and worshipped you," countered Bryce.

"Wait Bryce," cut in Seanna, "Why didn't you do the things you sang about?"

"I just didn't see how it would benefit my life," he answered.

"But, by glorifying the lifestyle, you benefitted your life right? You did it to sell records and concert tickets, so you made money off of something that wouldn't benefit them!" Samantha was beginning to understand what Daffyd was saying.

"Yes, I did."

"And that doesn't bother you?" she exclaimed.

"I can't undo what has already been done," Daffyd answered.

"And once again, we are back to square one. Uncle Daffyd doesn't really think he has done anything wrong. There are plenty of other bad examples out there, one less wouldn't have mattered. Right?" said Bryce.

"You will be held accountable for what you do, not the others," said Samantha.

"That's what you believe, I happen to believe differently," Daffyd stubbornly held on to his view.

"Not believing it won't happen doesn't change the truth. You probably never believed you'd get cancer, but you did," stated Samantha.

"Are you going to return to your career when you get better?" asked Seanna trying to take some of the heat off of Daffyd.

"I had already written some new stuff that reflected who I really am. I had only started recording when I got sick. I am not sure if I will ever get it finished. I know I would be more comfortable with the new material, but I am not sure if it would sell," he answered honestly.

"So...if you never recorded another song, would you be able to live off of the money you already made?" asked Seanna.

"I would never have to work another day in my life, but...I love music. It's what I enjoy more than anything else. I love writing it, singing it and playing it. If I thought I would never do it again, I wouldn't have anything to live for," he continued honestly.

"You have me, grandma and grandpa...wouldn't we be enough?" asked Bryce with pain in his voice.

"Bryce, we've been over this...so many times...I love you all, you know I do. I would like to say that it would be enough, but it wouldn't."

"You're right, we have been over this. I love you Uncle Daffyd, and I can't change you. The only thing that will make your life better is God, and you've given up on Him long ago. I'll let you finish this conversation without me. I've already heard all of your excuses. We will continue to disagree." Bryce left the patio and went back into the house.

"I think that I have heard all I need to as well. I am not judging you Daffyd. I think you are a good man, and that your past is in the past. It's what you do in the future that will matter," said Seanna. "I think I'll go check on Bryce."

Samantha and Daffyd sat silently for awhile. Samantha was praying and Daffyd was pondering what Seanna had just said.

"You should have told us up front," said Samantha finally breaking the silence.

"I have had some bad experiences with people knowing who I am. That's why we moved out here, away from it all," he explained.

"Ok, that makes sense. You didn't know us and we could have been crazy fans. But once you knew us, why didn't you say something?" she asked

"Because, once I knew you, I knew you wouldn't stay," he replied quietly. "I suppose I'll need to call Trish and Leal and ask them to come home early."

"No, Daffyd, what you just told me doesn't change what's happening right now. They deserve their vacation, and unless you're going to start singing that kind of junk around the house," she pointed at the offending computer, "then I can finish out what I agreed to. Just one more question," she said. "How did you ever get Trisha to work for you, you know being what you represented and what she believes."

"Trish worked for me before she got religious. Then she decided it was her job to save me."

They sat again for awhile both looking off at the mountains. Finally Daffyd stood up and shakily made his way to the door. Samantha could see that he was not feeling well and stood and took his arm. Daffyd just gave her an apologetic smile and allowed her to help.

"I think this has all been too much excitement for me. I don't want to ask Bryce to help right now, but I think I need to go back to bed..."

"I can help you Daffyd. That's what I am here for." Samantha knew in her heart that that was the truth. Somehow, she was supposed to help Daffyd find his way back.

# **Chapter 13**

# A New Day

The next day Samantha went through her morning duties as usual, but refrained from saying anything personal to Daffyd. There was no joking and teasing, no easy conversations, just simple questions and simple answers. Daffyd stayed in his room the whole day, eating little and sleeping most of the day. At dinner Samantha voiced her concern over Daffyd's health, worried that his lack of food and fluids might be making his condition worse. Bryce hadn't been in to see his Uncle that day at all. He didn't want to say anything he'd regret. The whole thing with Seanna and Samantha yesterday had stirred up some old hard feelings.

"I'll go and check on him. I never can stay mad at him anyway. We may disagree about life, but we still love each other. And he has been good to me. Has he seemed feverish at all?" asked Bryce.

"No, when I went to get his lunch tray, he hadn't touched his soup or tea. He was sleeping so I felt his head and he felt cool. But unless he has been getting something to drink out of the bathroom, he hasn't had any fluids since the small glass of apple juice this morning. When I asked him how he was feeling last time I checked on him, he said he was tired," she answered.

"He did look pretty tired yesterday, and after being so sick before, maybe he is just catching up on some rest," suggested Seanna.

"I'll grab a few bottles of water and head up right now," said Bryce. Soon he was back down sliding right in to help do the dishes.

"So...?" asked Samantha.

"He was awake and to answer your question about the drinking, he used the bathroom sink, not wanting to bother anyone. There was no sign of a fever and he was reading the books I got him for his birthday," he filled them all in. "He just said he was really tired. I think maybe he's been pushing himself a little too hard. It is something he tends to do, sick or well."

"Did he say if he wanted anything to eat?" asked Samantha.

"His stomach is not so hot, so I just told him to keep drinking and to buzz us if he gets hungry," said Bryce.

"So what's the big plan for tonight?" asked Seanna.

"I think I would like to follow Daffyd's lead and lay in bed with a good book. He loaned me the Hobbit," said Samantha.

"Ok, so what about you, Bryce, do you have some book calling your name?" Seanna asked.

"Actually I was thinking of hanging in the pool for awhile. You feel like joining me?" he asked.

"Fresh air and water...better than a book any day," she laughed.

"Pop in and say goodnight before you go to bed, Seanna. And you two behave yourselves," said Samantha. "I'll take the pager in case Daffyd needs anything."

Bryce popped Seanna with the towel he was drying with and said, "Beat you to the pool!" Samantha stopped Seanna before she could run after him.

"I don't have to worry about you two...do I?" she asked her daughter.

"Oh please, he's not even my type. We are just having fun, Mom. He's the perfect gentleman, and I think he has the hots for this girl at school he's always talking about. So no worries. Now, he's gonna rub it in that I am last in the pool," she said shaking her head.

Samantha let her go, and let go of her worries. She heard the hobbits and elves calling her name, so she grabbed some water and headed off to her room. As she went up the stairs she passed Bryce flying down with a big smile. She just shook her head and smiled. The energy of those two!

Seanna had thoroughly enjoyed having a pool close at hand. She'd always loved the water, and had never been big on reading for fun. Seanna read the papers, her school books and the ingredients of food containers, and that was the extent of her reading. Her idea of fun usually included the outdoors. Samantha on the other hand loved more quiet activities like reading, writing, old movies and art. Soon she was engrossed in the timeless story that she was reading and forgot about everything else.

In the pool Bryce and Seanna played a rowdy game of water volley ball. Soon they were hanging on the edge of the pool taking a breather. They were talking about Daffyd and Samantha and how they thought it would all turn out.

"I think my mom kind of likes your uncle," said Seanna.

"You mean she likes his personality?" he asked.

"Well, that too, but I think she might really like him, you know romantically..."

"No way, your dad's only been gone a while and even after what you told me about your Dad, I still think it would be too soon. Besides...Uncle Daffyd has issues," answered Bryce.

"I told you that things were kind of weird between my mom and dad. I don't think they ever loved each other that way. I know they loved each other, but there are different kinds of love, and well, they never loved each other," she tried to explain.

"What makes you think she is interested?" he asked.

"She talks about him a lot and she prays for him every day...I don't know, I just do."

"Don't you think that it's because he is sick? Maybe she just feels sorry for him," he suggested.

"I don't think that is all. She was pretty upset yesterday and I don't think it was just some self-righteous thing of my mom's. I think that she had been thinking pretty highly of him and...well...her bubble has burst," she answered.

"I don't think your mom could be seriously interested in anyone who wasn't saved," countered Bryce.

"Wasn't your uncle saved at one time? He could come back to the Lord couldn't he? Maybe she is expecting to help him find his faith again. She told me that she had lost faith when she was pregnant with me, and my dad helped her find her way again...or maybe that's all she's trying to do for him, and that's what all the prayers are for," said Seanna.

"Either way, I'm ok with it. Your mom's cool and Daffyd does need to find his way back. So whatever happens, it's going to be good right? But if he doesn't turn his life around, it would just be a big mess for both of them."

"Yep, you're right. I'm gonna believe that God will work it all out. I really like your uncle and if they hooked up, we'd be related! That would be cool. I always wanted a brother or sister and you said you did too. We'd get to see each other all the time. Because once we leave here, that will be the end won't it?" she mused.

"It wouldn't have to be. But truthfully...yeah, we probably would just be email friends...otherwise if my uncle and your mom hooked up, we'd see each other every break from school," he said.

"I probably wouldn't be so worried about mom while I was away at college either. I hate to leave her this fall after all that's happened. And the money is going to be really tight for her. It's taking a big bite out of her small paycheck just to help me with tuition and books," she said.

"How about we pray for both of those issues, your school tuition and your mom and Uncle Daffyd's future?" he suggested.

"Sure."

They headed to the shallow end of the pool, where their feet could touch. Bryce grabbed both of Seanna's hands and they bowed their heads. In simple terms, with loads of faith, the two young hearts brought their concerns and desires before God.

Samantha had been reading for hours. She looked at the clock and it was almost ten. Deciding to go and see if the kids were still in the pool, she headed downstairs. Finding the pool empty, she tried the kitchen and movie room. Both were empty, so she figured they had called it a night. Peeking into Seanna's room proved her right. Her daughter was sound asleep, hair still wet on the pillow. Content that all was well, she thought she should peek in on Daffyd also.

When she listened at his door, all was quiet. So she silently cracked the door. The room and the bed were empty. Crossing to the bathroom, worried that maybe he had fallen or something she found it empty as well. She quickly headed to the rail overlooking the living area below. There was a dim light coming from the kitchen so she headed down to check. She found Daffyd, with his head in the fridge, rummaging.

"I guess your stomach has settled," said Samantha. He stepped back from the fridge and sheepishly held up the cheese and mayo. "Sit down I'll make you a sandwich," she said reaching for the ingredients in his hands.

"Thanks, I thought you were all asleep. I fell asleep reading again, and woke up starving," said Daffyd.

"I must have just missed you. I came down looking for the kids. I was reading and lost track of time. They must have worn their selves out in the pool and went to bed early," said Samantha.

"I am glad they are having fun," he said.

"Me too," said Samantha as she handed him a cheese sandwich. She sat down at the bar with him with a sandwich of her own. He gave her a look eyeing her plate.

"What? It sounded good," she said.

"I didn't say a word," said Daffyd, glad that she was teasing again. They ate in silence, enjoying the late snack. Then Samantha put the dishes in the sink and rinsed them off until morning.

"Can I offer an arm for the trip back?" she asked.

"I guess I didn't think about the return trip, that's always the hardest. Several times I wished I had put in an elevator."

Samantha helped him up the stairs and walked with him to his room. She helped him to the bed and automatically reached forward to feel his head. He took her hand and held it for a minute. They stayed that way for a bit looking into each other's eyes. Then Daffyd smiled and let go of her hand.

"Good night Samantha, and thank you," he said softly.

"Good night Daffyd," she answered as she turned to leave.

After she left, Daffyd lay there for a long time, unable to go to sleep. He had slept so much the past few days that he had gotten his days and nights mixed up. Familiar with the pattern, he picked up his book to read. After a couple of pages, he realized he wasn't paying attention. His mind was wondering. How different would my life be if I had followed another path? What if I had been like Gareth and been able to live the life that contained faith and hope? Things wouldn't be so weird with Samantha if I hadn't taken the low road.

Daffyd hated to admit, even to himself, that his career was not what he had hoped for in the beginning. He had just allowed himself to be swept away with all the fame and glory, never really objecting to the course that others encouraged him to take. If I just would have been stronger. Gareth was always the stable one. I could have told them that I wanted to keep my music real. It was never my intention to write about such worthless things, let alone sing about it all over the world. Maybe Seanna is right. If I could do things differently in the future, maybe all the bad decisions of the past can be erased. Will anyone ever see me as anything other than THE SAVAGE? Daffyd allowed his imagination to go. Dreaming of a different life...

Samantha too had trouble going to sleep that night. She refused to pick up her book again, and instead paced her room praying. How can I help him, Lord? I can't even get past his past! Show me how much you love him, and help me to see him the way you do. If our being here was not an accident, then you have a purpose for Seanna and I to be here in this house. Holy Spirit, lead us and help us to overcome our own thinking. Father, I pray that you are speaking to Daffyd's heart, Holy Spirit, lead him back to the Father. Continuing in this fashion, Samantha prayed for hours. She prayed for Seanna, herself, Richard's mother, her parents, Bryce and finished up with Trisha and Leal. Finally, her heart at peace, she crawled into bed and slept.

# **Chapter 14**

# Unexpected Blessings

When Samantha brought a tray up for Daffyd in the morning, she found him sleepy eyed and on the phone. She set the tray next to the bed and intended to go back to the kitchen to figure out something for lunch that day. There was getting to be slim pickings. Obviously Trisha usually did the shopping. Daffyd held up a finger asking her to wait. She sat in the chair next to the bed and waited for him to finish his conversation.

"No, don't worry about it. We are fine, I am sure that we can work it all out. Just tell Leal not to worry and to go and see his grandmother...sure thing...ok, just call and let me know...bye." He put down his cell and leaned back in the bed. Finally he looked at Samantha and told her that it had been Trisha on the phone.

"Leal's grandmother is sick. He is really close to her and hasn't seen her for a couple of years. His mom called and let them know that she is in the hospital and asked if they could come and see her. I couldn't say no. Now before you get all worked up, I am fine here with Bryce. This isn't your problem and you won't have to stay any longer than the two more days we agreed on," he explained.

"Daffyd, I am not in a hurry to leave...and of course, they should go see Leal's grandmother. We can stay as long as you need us..."

"I thought after yesterday that you would be ready to run," he said, picking at a thread on his comforter.

"Yesterday was an eye opener, but it doesn't change the fact that you've treated us well. Now that I know a real live Rock Star, I guess that maybe I've been judgmental about the whole subculture. I may not like your choice of lyrics or what they represent, but I do like you Daffyd. I think that you are not what you sang. Plus the revelation of your career can't change the fact that you need more help than just Bryce can give you. Unless you want Trisha to come home and find that you've let the place go to wreck and ruin." Samantha lifted her eyebrows, knowing that would get his attention.

"No, I do not want that...thanks Samantha...for everything. I hope that we can all just make this work until Trisha and Leal get back," he said.

"We can do better than that I think. We can continue to get to know each other and enjoy the company while we have the chance," she countered. "Deal?"

"I like that idea better, so...deal!" he said.

"Well, now that that is settled, I think that someone will need to make a trip to town for some groceries. Though Trisha keeps a well stocked kitchen, I am afraid my culinary skills do not match her own and I have used up the ingredients that I do know how to use," said Samantha.

"Then you go ahead. Why don't you take Seanna and you two could pick up your car while you are there. Bryce can babysit me now that we kissed and made up. There are a few things I need his advice on anyway. We can get it done while you two are gone. If there is anything left for sandwiches, we can fend for ourselves for lunch. Ever since that cheese sandwich last night, I have been craving another," suggested Daffyd.

"Yep, there is half a loaf of bread, some cheese and you may be able to scrape out a little mayo, we pretty much used the last of it last night. But if your stomach can handle it, Trisha has some kind of creamy brown mustard in there that is pretty good," she answered.

"You can take the VW. The keys should be hanging by the garage door. Trisha has an account at the only grocery store in town. There is some petty cash in a bank bag in the desk drawer in the kitchen as well. Lunch will be my treat."

"Is there anything you need? Toilet paper, shampoo or maybe ice cream...?" she asked.

"Now you're just being mean. I am good on TP, I don't use shampoo and there is enough sherbet in the freezer for a kindergarten class. I would like some orange juice and even though it is summer, I have been dreaming of cream of wheat for breakfast. I think I can drop the tea and toast for a while. Oh, and maybe one other thing. Do you know how to make a pot roast?" he asked.

"That I can handle," she answered.

"Buy what you need for that. My mom used to make that every Sunday and we came home from church to the house smelling of meat and potatoes. She used to put carrots in with hers too, maybe we can have that after you guys get home from church tomorrow?" asked Daffyd.

"Sure, but unless you will be joining us for church, I'll be staying home and letting the kids go," she replied.

"I think I will be ok for a couple of hours," he said.

"Trisha already told me that unless you are up and about, that one of them stays home with you," Samantha insisted.

"She's a worry wart," said Daffyd. "And today I am feeling pretty good, other than sleeping all day and staying awake most of the night."

"Well take a nap, and try to stay up today. Then maybe you'll feel like going to church," she said.

"If you promise to make pot roast for dinner, and I am feeling as well tomorrow as I am this morning...I will consider it," his words surprised even himself.

"Oh, you are getting your pot roast, and I will pray that tomorrow you will be walking in divine health!" she said with a smile, heading out the door.

"Go and get us some food, woman. I need a nap." Daffyd yelled after her as she left. "Oh, and tell Bryce to wake me up in an hour."

Samantha let the others know what was going on with Leal's grandmother. Then they made a shopping list of the things that they needed. Seanna was helpful, reminding her mom to check on laundry and cleaning supplies as well as paper goods. After her joke with Daffyd about toilet paper, she would have been embarrassed to run out. She had added the special request items, but didn't mention her deal with Daffyd about church, not wanting to get her hopes up. Daffyd had left himself a pretty good 'out' all he'd have to do is say he was too tired or not feeling well. Who would question that with all that he'd been going through?

They had just finished up their shopping and had stowed all the cold items in the ice chest that Bryce had suggested they bring along. Samantha was a bit worried about how much she had spent on everything, but the girl at the counter didn't bat an eye. So she figured she was safe. Now they were sitting in a little 'mom and pop' restaurant sharing each others lunches.

"Who am I going to share lunch with when you go to college? I'm getting so used to us each ordering something and then eating off of each other's plates. I'll have to go back to boring old one choice lunch," she joked.

"Maybe you won't have to eat alone, you might make a new friend," suggested Seanna.

"Not unless we get some new people at church. My whole life revolves around there, teaching and attending, plus volunteering...I don't think I'll get an opportunity to meet any new women," said Samantha.

"Well...maybe you will make a new friend who isn't a woman."

"Oh please!" said Samantha turning her daughter's own words on her.

"What? You're young, still pretty hot, and any man would be happy to have you," said Seanna with a smile.

"True...I am pretty hot," she laughed, "but seriously, Seanna, I just don't see that happening. Besides, your Dad and I were married for a long time. I don't think I am ready to just jump back into that again."

"Mom, can I ask you something, about you and Dad?"

"Sure, honey, you can ask me anything."

"Were you in love with Dad?" asked Seanna.

"Of course I loved your Dad," Samantha stated. "Why would you ask that?"

"I know you loved him, Mom, I mean were you ever in love with him. You know, the racing heart, sweaty hands, can't wait another minute to see him, kind of love."

Samantha waited to gather her thoughts before she answered. She took a bunch of fries and methodically dipped them in the ketchup, chewed slowly and swallowed before she answered.

"Seanna, Dad and I had a different kind of relationship. We loved each other very much, but to be honest, no, we never had that kind of love. It wasn't anybody's fault; we just weren't looking for that kind of love. We were happy and content to have a mutual companionship, and our joined faith. We cared about each other very deeply, but there weren't any of the things you talked about in our relationship," she finally answered.

"Don't you feel like you missed out on something? I mean, didn't you ever wish that you had had those things?"

"Maybe a little, but remember, I thought I had felt those things for your birth dad, and look how that turned out. Passion and butterflies couldn't last, the first hard thing that came along destroyed it. The love your Dad and I had was the lasting kind," Samantha explained.

"I think you can have both! I think that it might start as butterflies but if that person is the right person for you, if God is in the choosing, it will turn into that comfortable lasting kind. But who wants to be married for twenty years to someone you aren't passionate about?" said Seanna.

"You may be right. I certainly am not an expert on relationships," Samantha admitted.

"Bryce said that his mom and dad, until the day they died, were like that. I had a few friends in school whose parents seemed to be in love, even after kids and everything," she said.

"Why are you suddenly interested in all of this? I thought you said that you thought of Bryce as a brother," said Samantha getting worried again.

"I do, I was thinking of you...I would love for you to be happy Mom. Maybe I am just a little worried about leaving you and running off to college. I'd feel better if you had someone...you know..."

"Well that certainly isn't going to happen before fall. My word, child, trying to marry your poor mother off in a few months! And I don't even know any single men," she laughed.

"How about Daffyd? He's single?" Seanna asked, looking at her plate.

"Are you serious? Seanna, Daffyd is nice and everything, but he is in the battle of his life, and I don't just mean the cancer. He isn't ready for a relationship any more than I am."

"What if he got that all straightened out? Would you ever consider someone like Daffyd?" asked her daughter.

"You mean an aging egotistical rock star, who made his money from glorifying a sinful lifestyle?" countered Samantha.

"No, first of all he's only thirty, I asked Bryce. He just had his birthday. Secondly, I mean someone who is kind and generous. He donated the money to build that park in town. He has also given tons of money to the hospital where he gets treatment. And he insists that nobody knows that the money comes from him. Does that sound egotistical to you? Not to mention, that despite his choice of material, he is at least passionate about something. I loved Dad, but what was he ever passionate about, even the store, where he practically lived could hardly be called a passion."

"Daffyd is only twenty nine! He's barely older than Bryce. I thought he was closer to my age, or even older. So how long ago was his career?" exclaimed Samantha.

"Actually I think he was going pretty strong until about three or four years ago. And you talk like you're old. That's only an eight year difference. What does age matter anyway? Dad was twice your age."

"Look Seanna, I just don't want to talk about this. Daffyd is a good man, and I do think that God is working in his life, but I am not looking for a relationship. Ok?"

"Ok...whatever... But will you promise to have an open mind, and allow God to work it out in your life too?" asked Seanna.

"Yes, I will let God lead. Now, we better get these groceries home, or all our frozen food will be thawed, ice chest or no ice chest." Samantha gathered up her purse and the bill and ended the conversation.

Daffyd and Bryce had been busy while the girls were enjoying their lunch. They had contacted the lawyer to check up on their special project. Daffyd had also asked Bryce to take a look at all of his recording contracts, looking for a way to make changes without hurting any of the other parties involved. After several hours, Bryce said that it was all pretty solid. He admitted he wasn't an expert at business law and suggested that Daffyd allow his own lawyer to handle it.

"I am still not sure exactly what I want to do...I am just speculating," said Daffyd.

"Have you had a change of heart?" asked Bryce.

"I guess maybe a little, after all the questions that came up explaining things to Samantha and Seanna, it has started bothering me more than usual. Honestly, it has always bothered me a little. Over the years I guess I got calloused about it all. I don't want to jump into anything. I am just looking at my options," Daffyd explained.

"Well, I am proud of you. Maybe you are growing up," Bryce teased.

"I figured you might be getting tired of parenting me," Daffyd teased back. "Well, I think I better take a nap. Can you run the tray from lunch down for me?"

"Yep, I'll clean up the kitchen before Samantha and Seanna get back. Then I think I will get the grass mowed. It's starting to look like a jungle. Plus I love Leal's mower. It's more like play than work!"

The girls came home to find Bryce on the big mower with protective headphones on making big swaths in the ankle high grass. He gave them a big wave and Seanna gave him a thumbs-up. They quickly unloaded and put everything away. Samantha went up to change and checked on Daffyd. He was sound asleep. She put away the things that needed to go upstairs and headed back down. Seanna was on Bryce's computer by the time he came in. He went to the sink and filled a huge glass with water, downing it like he would never get another drink. Samantha grabbed some work gloves and was going to head out to the garden when Seanna called her over.

"Mom, I got an email from the school," she said.

"Well, what does it say?" asked Samantha.

"It's from the financial aid department. I wonder what it's about." Seanna pondered.

"Open it and see," said Bryce from the sink with a big grin.

He was standing facing Seanna at the bar and silently thanked God for allowing him to witness the whole thing. He had assumed that she would be getting a phone call, but now days everything seemed to be handled by email.

"Oh...my...word..." she whispered.

"What Seanna?" Samantha leaned in to read over her daughters shoulder.

"I got another scholarship...Mom. It says that it is a 'full ride'. I won't have to pay for anything. It even covers my room and board!" she exclaimed. She was totally in shock.

"Is that true? Is that what it means?" Samantha looked to Bryce.

"I'll come take a look, but yeah, usually that's what it means," he answered coming around to look. "Let's see, yep, right here it says full tuition, room and board, and even your books are covered. Wow, Seanna you must have impressed somebody!"

Suddenly she jumped up and grabbed her mom, laughing and crying at the same time. They jumped and hugged and before he knew what hit him, they had grabbed him and propelled him around with them.

"Who won the lottery?" yelled Daffyd down from the top of the stairs.

"Well I guess I did!" Seanna shouted back.

"She just got a full ride scholarship!" said Samantha.

"Well we did just pray about that didn't we, Sea?" said Bryce.

"We did, thank you Jesus! Now I won't have to worry about Mom. Wow, what a surprise. I thought that all my applications had been reviewed. Talk about just in the nick of time," she just could not stop smiling.

"Seanna, Dad would be so proud of you," she said quietly.

"Yep, he sure would." She smiled and gave her mom a hug.

Bryce looked up at his uncle and Daffyd gave him a slight nod and a wink. Bryce had never been so proud of his uncle. Daffyd slowly came down the stairs and joined the group. He took a look at the email, confirming everything that they had just read. He gave Seanna a sideways hug with one arm around her shoulders.

"I think this is cause for a celebration. What did you girls bring for a treat?" he asked.

"I don't even remember. I can't really think straight right now," answered Samantha.

"I can find something! You guys all sit down," offered Bryce.

Seanna had to re-read everything a couple of times. Samantha kept patting her daughters hand and smiling. Daffyd and Bryce just enjoyed their joy. The rest of the afternoon went quickly. Bryce fixed sandwiches again, and they all sat around the table talking and joking until bed. As Daffyd retired for the evening, earlier than the others, Samantha reminded him that they were having roast beef for lunch after church. He turned and smiled at her, and allowed Bryce to help him up the stairs. Lord, he better keep his end of the deal.

# **Chapter 15**

# Baby Steps

Samantha got up early Sunday morning to get the roast in the oven and get the potatoes and carrots cleaned, pealed, and in the pot. She prayed the whole time that Daffyd would be feeling well enough and be inclined to go to church. She finished up in the kitchen and hurried upstairs to get dressed. Her options were much smaller this week, only having brought the one dress. She went for a pair of nice jeans and one of her dressier summer shirts. By the time she headed downstairs, Daffyd was coming out of his room. He also had on some dark jeans and a light weight cotton dress shirt. Both were a little big, but he was definitely not in his pajamas.

"I see I am just in time to accompany you down the stairs," he said.

"Yes, you are," she gave him her arm and didn't mention church.

Bryce and Seanna were both downstairs finishing up some juice and muffins. When Samantha nonchalantly asked Daffyd if he would like some tea before they left for church, Bryce choked on his last swallow and Seanna absentmindedly gave him a pat on the back. Both were staring at Daffyd as if he just grew a new head.

"I think I would just like a small glass of juice, if my nephew hasn't spewed the rest of it all over the counter. Bryce, do you think you could load up the wheel chair for me? As much as I hate it, I don't want to tire myself out on the way in and out of church."

"Um...sure, I'll get right on that. Seanna, could you give me a hand? That thing can be a bear to get into the car. Should we take the limo, so you can lie down if you need to?" Bryce asked.

"I think we'd better. Thanks." He answered.

Seanna jumped up to help Bryce, and Daffyd just shook his head and chuckled.

"Did you see their faces? Priceless, poor Seanna two shocks in just as many days and Bryce almost choked himself.... Good thing they're young and have strong hearts!" he continued to chuckle.

"Well, you have to admit, it is a big deal. How long has it been since you went to church?" Samantha asked.

"Too long...I've gone to the odd service, mostly at holidays over the years. But I think it has been about six years since I have been in a church, not counting Gareth and Elizabeth's funeral."

"Thanks for coming," she said.

"You do have that pot roast in the oven, right?" he teased.

"Pot roast, what does that have to do with church?" she teased back. Daffyd just raised his eyebrows and looked at her.

"Maybe there does happen to be a pot roast in the oven, and possibly a strawberry rhubarb crisp for dessert. Of course yours will not be alamode," she said.

They made it to church and got Daffyd situated. People came and introduced themselves and made him feel welcome. It seemed that Trisha and Leal had said very little about their employer and Bryce even less about his uncle. Daffyd smiled and nodded, but obviously was feeling a little anxious. Samantha remembered what he had said about his previous anxiety attacks and sat down next to him. Daffyd grabbed her hand and held it like a life line. Soon the service started. Daffyd let go of Samantha's hand and sang with the others, following the lyrics on the overhead to the songs he was not familiar with. Several heads turned when Daffyd sang, and Bryce puffed out his chest with pride.

The assistant Pastor gave announcements and he reminded them that they would be holding an all night prayer vigil beginning that evening. When they passed the offering plate, Daffyd threw in a big bill without batting an eye. He was more relaxed during the Pastor's simple message on hearing God, and applying His word. Samantha would occasionally glance his way out of the corner of her eye to see his facial expressions. Though sometimes he looked a little perplexed, most of the time he was just attentive. She on the other hand had issues trying to pay attention being so concerned about what Daffyd was thinking. Finally she just told herself to pay attention and left him in God's hands.

While the Pastor was giving his closing and opening up the altar for prayer, Daffyd asked Bryce to go and get the wheel chair out of the car and wait at the bottom of the steps. By the time the last person was prayed for Bryce was back in time to help his uncle to the car, hiding his disappointment at finding him in the pew and not at the altar. Heading straight to the car they didn't get a chance to talk to anyone. They could see that Daffyd was taxed. Soon he was lying in the back, and they were on their way home.

Bryce drove and Seanna sat up front with him. They chatted about the prayer vigil. Seanna had never taken part with one before and asked him what it was for. He explained that it was a night to pray for whatever was on the hearts of the people. They would have a big bulletin board where people would tack up their requests and their praise reports, and during the course of the night, people would take shifts praying for whatever was on the board. They both agreed it was something they wanted to do. Samantha sat in the back and listened to their conversation, keeping watch on Daffyd.

When they got home Daffyd decided to change into his pajamas and just lie down on the couch until lunch was ready. He insisted on having roast beef. As he took another cat nap, the rest changed into more comfortable clothes and got lunch on the table. Seanna helped her mom get the crisp in the oven and soon the smell of dessert brought Daffyd to the table. They had an enjoyable meal, and it seemed that they all had an unspoken agreement not to grill Daffyd about church. They simply ate and chatted as if there was nothing special about the day.

The kids excused themselves wanting to get a hold of someone at the church to see about the meeting that night. Daffyd thanked Samantha for a great meal, and she thanked him for going to church and they both left it at that. The kids were back shortly and told them that they had signed up for the ten to midnight shift. They were used to staying up late so they didn't think they needed to sleep before. Samantha offered to clean up so the kids could head out to the pool, their favorite place in the afternoon. Daffyd wandered out to watch them, sitting under the umbrella, while Samantha did up the dishes. As soon as she was done she donned Trisha's straw hat and grabbed the gardening tools to go and work in the garden.

When she had been at it for about an hour, Seanna came over to let her know that Bryce was taking Daffyd upstairs to rest, and she was going to put on some clothes and help her mom. While Samantha pulled a few weeds and hoed around the potatoes she thought of Richard.

If he had been raised like Daffyd and his brother, would he have been different? I know that being gay is a choice, not something that you are born into. What happened in Richard's life that caused him to choose that lifestyle? Obviously his family hadn't had a problem with that, but they did have a problem with his becoming a Christian. He may have never ventured into that life had he had a sound Christian upbringing. But then, look at Daffyd. His brother was raised in the same house, and he became a missionary and raised Bryce in church, while Daffyd chose a completely different life and turned his back on God. Look at me for that matter. I was raised in a Christian home, granted a legalistic one, but still I grew up with the Word of God. I still chose to sin and, for a season, also turned my heart away from God.

If I had never met Richard, would I have ever turned back to God? Or if I had never had premarital sex and gotten pregnant would I have stayed in that legalistic church and raised my children the same way. All the bad things in my life seem to always come out better in the end. I have had to lean on God to help me out of messes that I didn't know how to fix. Though our marriage wasn't perfect, or all I had ever dreamed, it was what got me into a good church and led me back to the Lord. Seanna had a good father, who loved her very much and did the best that he knew how to parent her, when her own father couldn't step up to the plate. Maybe God will turn all of Daffyd's problems around for his good. People's lives can change. Richard and I are both proof of that.

Seanna found her mom hoeing away with a look of concentration on her face. "Those must be some serious weeds?" she teased.

"All weeds are serious. They'll choke the life out of the good plants if we let them," countered her mom.

# **Chapter 16**

# What a Night

Later that evening after dinner and a rousing game of Monopoly, Bryce got Daffyd settled in for the evening. Samantha decided to read for a bit. The air was nice outside, so she brought her book out to the patio. The kids stopped by to let her know they were leaving and Bryce left the pager with her just in case Daffyd needed anything while they were gone. The two of them were just as excited as if they were going to a college ball game. Samantha was proud of them, as they walked to the garage with their Bibles in hand.

After reading for a while and deciding that popcorn sounded good, she threw a bag into the microwave and plopped a couple of tablespoons of butter in a cup. While the corn was popping she rummaged around until she found the honey. She poured it into a big bowl and then melted the butter, stirred in the honey and drizzled it over the hot popcorn. As she was heading back outside Daffyd buzzed her. She grabbed the bowl and her book and went to see what he needed.

"I knew I smelled popcorn!" he said as she came in.

"Is that why you paged me?" she laughed.

"Actually, no, but if you are inclined to share, I wouldn't object."

"I am pretty good at sharing, but I have to warn you, I put honey in the butter," she said.

"No way..." he looked at her with wrinkled brows.

"Yes...there is honey on the popcorn..."

"That is just the way I like it. Trisha and Leal think it is gross, Bryce will eat it. But he'll eat just about anything, though he prefers it without the honey. I think I have finally met someone who is as weird as me," he said.

"No offence...but I think that it would take more than liking honey on my popcorn to make me as weird as you," she teased.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Hey, I can't share with you way over there. Come and sit on the bed and we can put the bowl between us." Samantha looked uncomfortable and just sat there.

"What, you think I can't control myself, that I might try to seduce you over a bowl of popcorn?" he said sarcastically.

"No, don't be silly..." she said still not getting up.

"Maybe you don't trust yourself. You are so into the anemic, anorexic, bald cancer ridden man that I am, you're afraid you won't be able to keep your hands off..." he joked.

"I think I can control myself," she said dryly as she stood up and got on the other side of the bed.

At first she was stiff and uncomfortable, but after a few minutes of sharing the popcorn and munching away, she relaxed and propped a few pillows behind her, mimicking Daffyd's posture in the bed. Before long the bowl was empty and they were wiping their hands on some Kleenex that was next to the bed. Samantha then remembered that Daffyd had paged her and there was a reason other than popcorn for her being in his room.

"So what was it you wanted when you buzzed?" she asked.

"It really was the popcorn...but now that you are here...maybe you can answer a few questions for me?"

"...ok" she said.

"What kind of church were you raised in? Was it like where we went today?" he asked.

"In some ways it was. We had the stained glass and the building was quite similar, but the church I was raised in was very legalistic," she answered.

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Well... they spent a lot of time telling us what we shouldn't or couldn't do. We heard all about sin, and little about redemption, or how to live above our own flesh. I don't remember hearing very much at all about God's love or forgiveness. Altar calls were sort of a 'turn or burn' thing, never a 'come home to a loving Father'," she explained.

"Is that why your parent's wrote you off when you got pregnant?" he said quietly.

"Yep, I'm pretty sure that they just didn't know how to forgive me. I tried contacting them a few times over the years, even sent some pictures of Seanna. They never wrote back. I still pray for them. It has to be a hard life to live in bitterness and regret and not allow the freedom of forgiveness to work in your heart."

"So when did you discover this 'freedom'," he asked.

"After I met Richard. He was going to a smaller community church. They were big on love, almost to the other extreme. There they didn't teach much on sin at all, or living righteous, just God loves us. There I finally gave my heart to the Lord. I had accepted Jesus as Savior as a child, but I had never let him be Lord of my life, do you know what I mean?" she asked.

"I think I do. I was raised in a great church. They taught us all about the sinful nature of man, and God's plan for redemption. I guess I did the same thing you did. As a kid, I asked Jesus to come into my heart, pretty young. But over the years I just went through the motions. I never allowed anyone other than myself to be in control of my life. I wanted things my way."

"Once when I was about thirteen, we had a guy come to our church, he was supposed to be a Prophet or something, and he told me that God had a call on my life. It wasn't what I wanted to hear. I am not sure if I was just scared or angry. From that day on, I shut myself off to God and just did what I wanted. I was still a pretty good kid until high school, but after a while I guess I just gave into the world."

"How old were you when you started singing professionally?" asked Samantha.

"I was already singing for money, mostly in bars, when I was in high school. My parents didn't quite know what to do with me. First they said I couldn't go, so I started sneaking out. Then they took the car away, and I just bought my own. I was already making good money then. The last straw for them was when I started drinking. They finally told me that I couldn't live in their house and live that way. So I got my own apartment and continued with the singing. By the time I was twenty one things were already crazy."

"That's when I stopped drinking. I was pretty proud of myself that at the age that others were starting to go to bars, I stopped. By that time I was playing in better places and just decided that the whole drinking thing wasn't for me. I liked being in control and I wasn't when I was drinking. I started touring so young and then everything just seemed to steamroller by. My old life was completely gone. My parents always tried to stay in touch. Eventually I stopped going to family functions and lost out on being with Gareth and Elizabeth. I didn't spend much time with Bryce, that's why I was so surprised when they had me as his guardian in their will."

"My life was spinning out of control. Someone else made my schedule, ordered my food, bought my clothes...pretty soon I had very little control of my life. That's when the panic attacks started. I had to stop the tours, and we cancelled everything. I couldn't even go into the studio to record. When I built this house I had them put one in the basement hoping that I could do it all on my own. But then all of this happened," he said indicating his own body, "and the rest is history."

"So what you're saying is that in trying to control your own life, you lost everything..."

"Well, not my money, and I still have Bryce, but yeah...Gareth and Elizabeth are gone, my relationship with my parents is crap, my body is wasting away, my career is pretty much over and...I think...my time is running out, and I don't know how to fix it," he answered.

"It's never too late to change our lives, Daffyd. Sometimes we just have to throw up our hands and say 'I give up', we can't change our lives, but God can,"

"I'm just not sure if I believe that anymore. I can't handle one more let down. I guess I am plain scared. If He doesn't come thru for me, then what? I am running out of options here. If I 'give up' as you say and it all stays the same, I'd have to put a bullet in my brain!"

"I am not saying that if you let go that He would take you out of all the mess! But He would certainly give you the strength to go through. It isn't easy Daffyd, trusting God can be hard. It takes work to live spiritually and to let go of our own way. It isn't a one-time thing; we have to decide every day to follow him. And sometimes we just screw up. We aren't perfect. If we were, we'd be in heaven. But He will be there with you no matter what happens," she explained. "Look, you don't have to decide right this minute; I am not trying to pressure you at all."

"I know, I am just so sick of my life, but too scared to do anything about it."

"Would you mind if I prayed with you Daffyd?" she asked. When Daffyd held his hand out to her, she took that as a yes. Grasping his hand in both of hers she closed her eyes and prayed.

"Father, I thank you for your love for Daffyd. You see his heart and You know what he needs. I ask that you speak to his heart, Lord, that your perfect love will cast out all fear. I thank you, Father, that every good seed that has been planted in Daffyd's life will bring forth fruit and that every bad seed will be rooted up and burnt. Thank you for touching his life. In Jesus name, Amen."

"Amen," Daffyd softly agreed. "Can I ask you another question?"

"Sure, you've been open with me. I think I could do the same thing."

"When you first got here, we were sitting by the pool and you told me about getting pregnant when you were so young. You said that you had lost your faith for a while. How did you get to the place you are now?" he asked.

"That's a long story. Are you sure you are up to it?" she asked.

"What else do I have to do, I took a long nap and am not tired at all, unless you are?" he answered.

"No, not yet. Well, I don't remember exactly what I told you earlier."

"You said that your parents wrote you off, and the guy took off..." he reminded her.

"Yep, that pretty much sums that up. I moved to Wisconsin to go to school and Seanna and I lived in a tiny apartment. I paid a neighbor lady, a nice grandma type, to watch her while I was at school and while I worked part time in the school cafeteria. Life was hard for us. I hadn't been to church since I graduated from the girl's school, and I only went there because they made us. I still believed in God, I knew He was real, but I didn't think He cared about me. When I thought of God as a parent, I could only see my parents and felt like I had just screwed up so bad that I was on my own."

"Looking back now, I am sure if I had been raised with forgiveness, that it would have been different. I couldn't forgive myself, so I wasn't expecting God to either. I went on this way for a long time, over a year. During that time I had met Richard. He was running a small grocery store close to the college at the time. He was very nice to us. At some point we started dating and he was a good listener. I ended up telling him everything and for the first time I felt like I wasn't being judged. He just accepted me and all my baggage. He kept inviting me to go to church and I finally caved. That was my first experience in a church that taught about the grace of God."

"Not long after that, we got married in the same church. I had rededicated my life to the Lord, and had been able to forgive not only my parents and Jeff, but myself as well. Richard was very patient and understanding through it all. I don't know if I ever would have made it without him. After college we moved to a town that had a larger store for sale, and our Pastor knew one of the Pastors in the area. I eventually got a job teaching at their small school. I think working at the church has helped keep me centered. But in a way it has also contributed to my learning to hide behind that mask I was telling you about. I somehow felt like I had to have it all together to be on staff there, and that was all my own thinking, probably still from all that legalism when I was little. I am going to have to face all of that when I go back," Samantha finished.

"It sounds like your husband was a great guy," said Daffyd.

"He was. Sometimes I didn't appreciate the good things in him, and got stuck on the things that bugged me. Just talking about it just now reminded me of how great he was in the beginning when I was so messed up, and mad at the world," she answered.

"So your marriage wasn't perfect?" he asked.

"Of course not! Richard and I had our differences. I can't say that we ever fought. He just wouldn't participate in that. If I raised my voice or started to get angry, he took what he called a 'time out' and waited until I calmed down. Or sometimes when I tried to talk to him about something that was really bothering me, he would break down. I am afraid his self confidence was pretty low. Richard was a pretty insecure man. I know he fully trusted God, but he had problems trusting people with his emotions. That's part of what used to make me so mad. He believed every sob story of the people who wanted to charge their groceries, or even wanted a hand out, he trusted people that way. I think he thought that people were mostly honest, but that they wouldn't like who he really was. You know what I mean?" she asked.

"I think I do. Now I hardly ever expect people to be honest...but I also don't trust people to accept the real me. From what you just said about wearing a mask, it sounds like you don't either..."

"I never thought of it that way. Richard and I were maybe too much alike for our own good. We both had things from our past that we just couldn't seem to get completely over," she said.

"What was in Richard's past that he struggled with?" asked Daffyd.

"I had suspected for years that there was something different about Richard, but I didn't get confirmation until his father's funeral. His mom told me that Richard had been gay, apparently for years. Sometime before we met, he had moved away from his home town where his family lived, and gave his life to the Lord. From what I can figure out, he started his whole life over. His family never really accepted his change as real. Richard never said a word about it to me, and never told anyone at our church. Our Pastor found out from me. I think he lived with that guilt until he died. I believe he confessed to God, but he never faced up to his past," she explained.

"Wow...so you two...well...you know, were you intimate?" asked Daffyd, his face red.

"At first...rarely, and then not for years. (I can't believe I'm telling you this). It didn't bother me at first, but eventually I just figured that it was probably better that way. I didn't want another baby and we just got comfortable. But I knew that a real marriage had to have intimacy. We never did. After the first few years things changed a lot. He was such a great listener, that's one reason I married him, but he never shared anything deep with me, his own dreams or fears. Just 'how was your day?' and stuff about Seanna. I've talked with you more in the past few days than in the last ten years with Richard."

"So you just...what...lived with it?"

"My life wasn't horrible," she laughed. "We had Seanna, church, the store, I guess I just did the best I could with the choices I made. I loved Richard, just not the way I had always hoped it would be. I think he really tried to be a good husband. I think he was scared that if I knew I would leave. Who knows, I just might have," she said. "Maybe I was scared too, afraid that my life could have been much worse."

"So do you forgive him?" he said looking her in the eye.

"I have chosen to forgive him. Forgiveness isn't an emotion. I choose to forgive, and let my emotions catch up later. Right now I am feeling a little betrayed. I just pray that God comforts me and allows me to continue to love Richard," she answered. "Ok, enough about me...now tell me all your past love stories."

"Not much to tell," he said.

"Come on! I was honest with you!" she exclaimed.

"Honestly, I don't think I've ever been in love. I was always caught up in my music, then my career. Most of the women I met all wanted something from me, money, their picture in the papers, you know all that junk. Now I am an old man and quickly running out of time," he said.

"Ok, first you're still a baby, you're barely thirty. Secondly, you will have plenty of time to find someone special and have a family."

"I'm no baby. The family part is probably out, one of the side effects of the treatments that I have had to take. And where am I supposed to meet her, and even if I did find the right woman, who would want to deal with all of my issues?" he asked.

"You could probably meet a wonderful woman at church. And some people are happy with adoption, your own brother for example. Bryce is wonderful," she answered. "Besides we all have our issues. If we waited to find the perfect person, we'd already be in heaven, and I'm pretty sure we are not going to be married there. You have to just wait until someone really grabs your heart," she said.

"So does that go for you as well?" he inquired.

"We aren't talking about me..." she stalled.

"I am just saying...are you going to practice what you preach?" he said with a grin.

"I think I'll just be single for a while, maybe a long while, you forget I spent fifteen years with Richard. That's almost half of my life."

"Do you think you would recognize the right person when you first met them?" he asked.

"You mean like 'love at first sight'?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess that's what I mean."

"I think you'd have to be sure that it wasn't just a physical attraction. I guess deep down, I'm still a bit of a romantic, so yes, I'd like to believe in love at first sight. But I also believe that love can grow out of a beautiful friendship too," she answered. "I would hate to be in the whole dating scene again. I think I'm gonna just be one of those old women who have a bunch of cats and lives alone."

"Now who is talking like they are old? Besides, I see you as more of a dog person," Daffyd replied.

"I am," she laughed. "I haven't had one for years. Maybe I'll get a little lap dog when Seanna goes off to school."

They continued to talk for hours, both of them gradually getting more comfortable and eventually ending up each lying on one half of the bed, facing each other. Neither Samantha nor Daffyd had laughed that much and yet had such a serious conversation in their whole lives. Before they knew it the night had grown old and they were so wrapped up in each other, they didn't hear kids coming home from their prayer vigil. They were both laughing so hard that Samantha was crying into the pillow, when Bryce and Seanna poked their heads in Daffyd's room.

"What's so funny? We could hear you all the way down stairs," said Seanna. Both kids came in grinning and plopped themselves on the bed.

"Daffyd was just telling stories about when he was a kid and some of the stupid things he and Bryce's dad did," explained Samantha. "I am so glad I had a girl."

"What stories? I'd like to hear some," said Bryce.

"First how did the prayer meeting go?" asked Samantha.

"It was great. There were quite a few people there and we prayed for tons of stuff. I feel pretty awake after all of that praying. So let's hear it Uncle Daffyd. Start with something I have never heard," said Bryce.

So Daffyd regaled them with some other funny tales and they all laughed and stayed up way too late. Finally, they were all yawning and Samantha was almost asleep.

"Ok, off to bed all of you. You have worn out your welcome. I am not used to sharing my bed!" Daffyd joked.

# **Chapter 17**

# All Good Things Must Come to an End

Over the next couple of days, Daffyd regained most of his strength, at least to the point he had been before his last treatment. The four of them spent hours together laughing, talking and just enjoying each other's company. Daffyd was content to watch them in the pool or working in the garden, while sitting in the shade with some lemonade. On one occasion he even wore a pair of shorts and sat on the edge of the pool and kicked his feet in the water. They were all pretty shocked at how thin and frail he looked, including Daffyd. Seanna discovered Daffyd's love for board games and they spent time gathered at the table in the kitchen or on the patio.

Soon the week rolled past and it was Sunday again. They had all gone to the morning service, including Daffyd. Though he had not made any big decisions, they were all pleased that he had attended another service. When they got home, it was to find Trisha and Leal's vehicle in the drive. No sooner had they parked and the two came out of the house with excitement and hugs.

"Where have you been all morning? We have been home for hours!"exclaimed Trisha.

"We were at church," said Bryce.

"All of you..." said Leal with eyes wide.

"Yes, Leal, all of us. As a matter of fact, this is the second time I have gone to church while you two were gone," said Daffyd.

"Wow," whispered Trish.

"Since you have been here for hours, what did you fix us for lunch?" asked Daffyd.

"My lovely wife exaggerated. We've only been home for about forty-five minutes. And since we didn't know where you were, we ate without you," answered Leal.

"Well I am hungry again, so let's go round something up," said Trisha.

"That's because you hardly picked at your sandwich. She was a little worried that maybe Daffyd had to go to the hospital," he explained.

"Nope, in fact I am feeling pretty chipper today," said Daffyd. "So let's go eat!"

In no time Samantha, Trisha and Seanna had the table laden with good food. Leal and Trisha were telling them all about their trip and about Leal's grandmother's recovery. Seanna shared her good news about the scholarship, not without some raised eyebrows from Trisha and a quick look Daffyd's way. Bryce told them about the prayer vigil and that they had both prayed for Leal's grandmother. Soon they were all caught up on the events from the past few weeks. Trisha bit her tongue to keep from grilling Daffyd about church. After all the years of praying, she wanted to know if he had finally surrendered himself.

"So, Daffyd, how did you like church?" asked Leal.

"It was...pleasant...I didn't burst into flame when I walked through the door," Daffyd answered.

"Everything doesn't have to be a joke, Daffyd," said Trisha quietly.

"Well, I haven't signed over all my possessions to the church if that's what you wanted to know. There was no emotional teary outbursts, I did not see angels or hear the voice of God, and surprise, surprise...I still have cancer!" said Daffyd angrily.

"Ok, just calm down. It was a simple question. You answered and now we are done," said Leal, giving his wife a look.

"Right, change of subject. So Samantha and Seanna I guess you'll be leaving us soon," said Trisha.

"Um...I guess you're right. Now that the two of you are back, there isn't any reason for us to stay." answered Samantha, sounding a little hurt.

"I wasn't implying that you had to leave right away...Look, I think I am tired and need to go take a nap. I am feeling a little cranky and I don't want anyone to be offended. It is great seeing you all again, including you, Samantha, and Seanna. I am gonna catch a few winks and will be like new again." Trisha gave her husband a kiss on the cheek and gave Bryce a pat on the head as she left the kitchen.

"You know, she was right. It is time that we take off. We should get packed up tonight Seanna and get an early start in the morning," said Samantha. "If you'll excuse us."

Seanna looked at Bryce with a sad smile and got up and followed her mother upstairs. Bryce looked at Daffyd as if he expected him to call them back or do something.

"What?" asked Daffyd.

"Nothing," said Bryce shaking his head as he too got up and left the table.

"All good things must come to an end," whispered Daffyd.

"Why are you in such a big hurry to leave, Mom?" asked Seanna as Samantha was packing her suitcase.

"Seanna we've been here long enough. We never intended to stay in one place so long and the only reason we stayed is to allow Trisha and Leal to take a break. They are home now and there is no reason to stay."

Yeah, but they just got home today. I doubt that Trisha was trying to tell us it was time to move on. I think she was just disappointed in Daffyd's attitude about church," said Seanna.

"Honestly, so am I. That's one of the reasons that I am ready to leave. I guess I had hoped that our being here might change his attitude, but obviously it hasn't. He just went to church as some kind of a show, or a game. He isn't going to change. He could have said something when I said it was time to go, but he just sat there," she sounded hurt.

"What are you so worked up about?" asked her daughter.

"He just makes me so mad. Look Seanna, the summer is halfway over. We both have things to do before you have to leave this fall, so I say let's be thankful for the time we have had here and get on our way. I hate long goodbyes, and I think it would just be uncomfortable for us to stay any longer."

"Ok, I still think you are overreacting, and you never know what may come of our being here. I think that good seeds have been planted," said Seanna.

"I sure hope they bear some fruit, but in the meantime, we all need to get back to our own lives," said her mom.

"Then I better get packing. What time do you want to leave in the morning?" ask Seanna.

"How about right after breakfast? We can load up the car before we eat, say our goodbyes and then get back on the road."

That night Daffyd stayed in his room. He sent a check for Seanna and Samantha down with Bryce and asked him to thank them for their help. Trisha woke up from her nap back to her old chipper self and apologized to the girls for her grumpiness. She didn't try to talk them into staying. Bryce and Seanna both looked sad, but they exchanged email, phone numbers and made promises to keep in touch. Dinner was a subdued affair. Samantha helped Trisha clean up and answered a few questions about the time that they were gone. The two young people spent their last night in the pool and talking until the wee hours on the patio under the stars. Samantha went to bed early after letting Trisha know that she would be leaving after breakfast.

The next morning they loaded up the car and sat down to a big breakfast of buckwheat pancakes, sausage and eggs. Daffyd again did not join them for the meal. They finished eating and lingered over the table for a bit, nobody really knowing what to say. Trisha said she would clear up and the girls finally said they better get going. The other three walked them out to the car. They were just getting in when Daffyd showed up looking tired and pale.

"Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?" he asked.

Seanna got out of the car first and went around giving Daffyd a hug. Samantha followed close behind. Samantha put out her hand, and Daffyd pulled her in for a hug as well. He held on to her just a bit longer than he had Seanna, and just before pulling away he leaned down and gave her a soft warm kiss on the forehead.

"I am sorry," he whispered.

Samantha looked up and smiled.

"Thanks," she said.

She reached into her shorts pocket and pulled out a folded up piece of paper and handed it to him.

"I was going to leave this for you, but I chickened out..."

"I have one for you too..." he said pulling an envelope out of his robe pocket laughing.

"Ok, then. We better get going," said Samantha as she gave all the others one last hug.

Soon they were off and Daffyd was back in his room reading the note from Samantha.

Dear Daffyd,

I am writing this note knowing that I am leaving and will probably never see you again, but I wanted you to know that I think you are a wonderful, if stubborn, person. I think that you have a big heart and that you are a generous and loving man. I am pretty sure that you are somehow behind my daughter's big scholarship and I appreciate it so much. Just a few weeks ago I would have been offended and refused to accept this most generous gift. Thankfully I have had some time to do some soul searching and our talks together have helped me to swallow my pride and to be able to be grateful for the blessings however they may come. I will continue to pray for you, body and spirit, and only wish you the best. I have come to care for you and the rest of your household in a way that I haven't felt for years. I know now that I have held myself apart from others and have not allowed any close relationships with anyone other than Seanna in my life. You were all so kind and open with us that I never even realized what was taking place until suddenly it felt like we had all known each other for years. I will always remember your hideaway in the mountains and the time that we were there. Thank you for everything and please don't give up on God, Daffyd. Allow him to speak into your heart.

Your Friend, S

Samantha

Daffyd read the letter and read it again, looking for something that wasn't there. He finally went to sleep with a lump in his throat and a heavy heart.

Samantha had tucked Daffyd's letter into her purse, not wanting to read it until they stopped for the night. Seanna was taking the first driving shift and Samantha was watching the scenery and thinking about what she would be coming home to. They had decided not to dawdle too much and to make the rest of the trip pretty quickly. After living in a modern mansion the past few weeks everything else sort of lost its excitement. Seanna was obviously sad about leaving Bryce and was saying little and concentrating on her driving.

They stopped for the night at about nine and got settled into their motel. Seanna plopped into bed and went right to sleep. Samantha took the opportunity to retrieve Daffyd's letter out of her purse. Her heart was beating a fast rhythm and her palms were sweaty when she opened up the envelope. There in a long flowing hand Daffyd had said the things that he had been too afraid to say to Samantha in person.

Samantha,

Let me start off by saying that I am sorry for the way I behaved yesterday. I still have some anger issues with God. I am trying to work through those, and I shouldn't have let Trisha's question set me off. I want you to know that I have never met a woman like you before. You really threw me for a loop. I did not and do not know how to handle someone like you. For the first time in years I wanted to be a better person, to feel like my life meant something. You accepted me for who I am, even though you disagreed with so much of my mindsets and my lifestyle. Other than a small amount of people, and you know most of them, I haven't been treated like a human being for years. When I first saw your car, I told Leal not to stop no matter what. But as soon as I saw the two of you on the road, I was compelled to stop! I can't really explain it, I am sure you would say it was God, and you may be right, because it was one of the smartest things I had ever done. Having the two of you here has changed my life so much. I took a good look at who I was and who I wanted to be and decided I wanted to be someone that you would be proud of. I am going to miss you terribly. I don't think I can be so open with anyone else. You truly are a 'good listener' as your name says.

Please consider keeping in touch, and allowing me to pour out my heart to you as I was able to while you were here. Continue to let me ask you hard questions and to let me be stupid and stubborn and not hold it against me. I am giving you my personal number and would like you to call anytime and frequently. I can't possibly explain to you how I am feeling now that you are leaving, not understanding it myself. I could not come down last night because I was on the verge of tears and didn't want to embarrass myself. But I can say that I care for you deeply and will miss having you here. If this is all just too much and too weird for you, then forgive me and write it off as the ramblings of a sick man. But if you can find it in your heart to stay in touch, call me to let me know you made it safely home. I will do as you suggested and try and find my way back.

Daffyd

Samantha finished the letter with tears streaming down her face. She did not want to admit that she had any feelings other than concern and 'brotherly love' for Daffyd. But her heart welled up with emotions that she had never experienced before. She blew her nose, wiped her eyes, grabbed her phone and went into the bathroom. She added Daffyd's number to her contacts, put him on speed dial, right after Seanna, and called before she could chicken out.

"Hello," said a sleepy voice on the other end.

"Daffyd?"

"Samantha...is that you?" he asked suddenly fully awake.

"Yes...I just read your letter Daffyd and I have to tell you that it touched my heart," she started crying again.

"Are you crying, Samantha?" he asked.

"I am sorry, Daffyd...this is all such a shock to me. I am not sure what I am feeling, but I know that I am happy and sad all at the same time...What do we do now?"

"Are you saying that you feel the same way that I do?" he sounded confused.

"I guess I'm saying that I care for you too, and that we live so far away from each other and have separate lives and that I'm supposed to be a grieving widow and I feel like I am dishonoring Richard somehow," she rambled.

"Samantha wait," he interrupted, "let's just agree that we care for each other."

"Ok," she answered quietly.

"And we can agree, that though we live separate lives, and we live so far away, we can call each other daily and stay in contact and just see where it all goes from there. I would love to have you turn around and come right back, but you need to go home and back to your real life and see if you still feel the same way. I don't want to find out that what you really feel is pity for my messed up life, or feel like you need to fix me. Does that make sense?" he asked.

"Yes...I feel like an emotional basket case, but I think I understand what you are saying. Even though I feel like I have known you forever, we probably should take some time getting to know each other better. But honestly, Daffyd, I feel like with your being sick that maybe we don't have a lot of that...time I mean," she said.

"Where is my woman of faith? I thought you were praying for me to be fully recovered!" he joked.

"Oh, Daffyd, you know I am. Please, this is hard enough as it is for me..."

"Samantha, now that I have something to look forward to, I am determined to beat this thing. You just keep praying for me and promise to always be completely honest, even if that means telling me that this just won't work. Ok?" he asked.

"Only if you promise to do the same, I am so much older than you Daffyd and if that wasn't enough on its own there are all the other obstacles," she said.

"I am happy right now to just be happy. Can that be enough for you?" he asked.

"Yes," she laughed, "It can."

"Ok, I am going to let you get some sleep. I am exhausted. I didn't sleep a wink last night, debating with myself about writing you that letter and I have been laying here feeling sorry for myself since I read yours, thinking that the feelings were totally one sided."

"I guess they never were, but I couldn't admit to myself how I felt. I am so used to keeping my feelings to myself, or just not allowing myself to feel at all, that it took my reading your letter to see it," she explained. "But go to sleep, Daffyd, and know that I do care for you and that God will work this all out. You'll see."

"Good night, Samantha."

"Good night, Daffyd. Sweet sleep."

# **Chapter 18**

# And Life Goes On

Seanna had gone off to college and Samantha had returned to her teaching job. It had been several months since their vacation in Montana. Daffyd and Samantha had managed to talk at least once a day on the phone and occasionally sent cards and letters by mail. Daffyd had sent a few gifts to Seanna at college and as well as Samantha. They had gotten into a routine and life went on.

At first Samantha and Daffyd wanted to keep their feelings a secret, but due to the fact that Bryce and Seanna talked or texted almost as much as the older two, it didn't take long for them to figure it all out. Both were pleased with the way things were going. Seanna had never seen her mother so happy, and Daffyd was doing better and better. He had begun going to church whenever he was well enough, and that was more often than not. Though he hadn't made a personal confession, he was asking the right questions. Bryce was sure that it wouldn't be long before he made a real commitment.

One cold Saturday morning in October, Samantha got a phone call from the people who had purchased Richard's store. They had been doing some remodeling and had found a box of Richard's belongings. That afternoon they dropped the box off and visited a few minutes explaining their plans for the store. Samantha was truly happy that things were working out for them there and that they were even making enough profit to update things. As soon as they left, she made herself a cup of hot cocoa and took the box into the dining room. She wondered what they could have missed when they had packed up everything.

Inside the box were some old photos of her and Seanna, a few drawings that her daughter had colored for her Daddy and what looked like an old leather book. Samantha looked over the photos and pictures with fond memories of Seanna as a little girl. She was feeling warm and cozy with her hot cup and old memories until she opened the book. It was a journal, and it had Richard's familiar chicken scratch covering every page. Samantha put down the book and paced the kitchen praying, before she had the courage to open it up and begin to read.

The first few pages were from when Richard had first come to Wisconsin. He talked about wanting to change his life, missing his family. Samantha read on about his struggle with overcoming his homosexual tendencies and his sadness over the breakup with his former 'partner'. At this point she felt so angry that she tossed the book on the table and started cleaning house like a mad women. After exhausting herself, she took a long hot shower and changed into her pajama's planning on going to bed early. But lying in bed with her thoughts going every which way, she went back to get the book.

As she was going back to her room, her phone rang. Knowing it was probably Daffyd, she just couldn't answer. She couldn't pretend all was well, and she just didn't want to talk about what she was feeling right now. It was the first time that she knowingly missed a call. Samantha read on...her emotions going from pity at his plight, to anger at what she felt as his betrayal. When he described his salvation, she cried again at how he explained this wonderful experience. Several pages after this were filled with hope and wonder. Not much had been written after that just a few updates, with the dates getting farther apart, until the entry on the first day that Samantha had brought little Seanna into the store.

Today a young woman came into the store with the prettiest little girl I have ever seen. The mother looked sad and was very withdrawn. The little one smiled at me and I think my heart melted. I was afraid of scaring them off, so I didn't say too much. I hope they come back. I would love to have a little girl like that someday, God willing.

Then a few days later-

That pretty little mother came in today with the angel of a daughter. I think the girl must be about one or two. The mom can't be more than eighteen or nineteen. She was looking for some notebooks and had to ask me for help. After helping her locate them, I just casually asked if she was a student at the college. She opened up a little and even allowed me to give the little one a tootsie roll. I find myself praying for her now...she seems to be like a lost little sheep, the mother not the baby.

Samantha had to stop reading again and sobbed into her hands. She was seeing the Richard that she first met, so kind and caring. Using up her whole box of tissue, she ended up bringing back a roll of toilet paper in anticipation of more tears to come, and she continued reading. He was elated the day she told him their names, mentioned that they came in more often. He described Seanna's clothes and the shape of her face, the color of her eyes. Several pages were filled with conversations that they had, the day she explained her situation was followed by a prayer written out for her and Seanna. Just when she thought she couldn't read another page she came to a place that had her glued to the page.

Praise God, I think I am in love, and with a woman! She is beautiful and smart, she has been hurt and needs someone to take care of her. Do I dare to think that she could be interested in me? I am practically old enough to be her father...and I would have to tell her about my past. I am asking her to go on a date with me, and then...we'll see.

Another entry on the night before their wedding-

I have decided not to tell Samantha, I just can't take the chance of losing the two of them! How could I ever go back to my life the way it was before they walked into my store? I never thought that I would be so happy, or so in love. I want to love and protect them and make their lives sweet. Samantha has trouble trusting others and I still am not sure that she loves me the same way I love her, but I am willing to take whatever she can give. I will do my best to care for her and keep her from ever getting hurt again, even if that means keeping my past a secret. God forgive me.

The last entry was several months after they were married-

I know I am not the man that Samantha wants me to be. Despite my strong love for her I am not able to carry that over to sexual intimacy. What a letdown this must be for her yet she hasn't complained, but I can see that she is hurt by my excuses. I can't exactly say 'I'm just not attracted to you', that wouldn't be true anyway. I do find her attractive, but somewhere between here and there my past flashes back and I am sickened by it all. I have almost confessed to her, but losing her would kill me. I think that I have made a big mistake. I have been so selfish! I have allowed this young woman to marry me based on the promise of intimacy and honesty and I am living a lie. How will I ever make it up to her? How will I keep her when she wants a real man?

The last few lines were written dark and large, showing the emotion behind the words. Samantha had no tears left. But she grieved for the hurting man who only wanted to love someone and be loved back. He had married a woman that had closed herself off to that love stupidly thinking that real love always had a corresponding intimacy. She finally realized how much he loved her and that he had been struggling with it all as much as she had. If they only could have been honest with each other, how different things could have been. Her sleep that night was a dreamless sleep of one whose mind was too frazzled to even dream.

Sunday she did not go to church, but stayed in bed feeling ill and depressed. Finally she was able to fully grieve over Richard's death in a way that her bitterness had not allowed her to before. It hadn't even been a year since his death and so much had happened. She was feeling guilty for her new found feelings shared with Daffyd and agonized over the whole situation. After much soul searching, she finally called Daffyd.

"Hey, Beautiful, I tried calling you last night," said Daffyd as he answered the phone.

"I know. I am sorry I didn't pick up, but things were pretty hairy over here," she explained.

"Are you ok? You sound like you've been crying, is everything good with Seanna?" he asked.

"Seanna is fine...Daffyd, there is something I have to talk to you about, and I need you to just let me say it all without any interruptions. Can you do that?" she asked.

"Samantha what's up?" he asked concerned.

"Can you do that Daffyd?" she asked again.

"Yeah, just tell me...what's wrong?"

"Well I have spent the last day reading a journal that belonged to Richard. The new owners of the store found it and thought that I might want to have it. I almost wish that it had stayed lost forever...anyway, Daffyd, I need some time to think, and I need you to let me have that time without phone calls or letters. I'm really confused right now and I can't trust my own feelings," she said.

"Samantha, what are you talking about?" he asked.

"I just found out that Richard loved me," she whispered.

"Of course he did, Samantha, you already knew that," Daffyd reminded her.

"No, Daffyd, he really loved me. I cheated him out of a happy marriage all because of my doubts and fears! Because I had some warped sense of what love was supposed to be, I never saw the real love that he had for me! How can I trust myself to love again?"

"Samantha, just calm down. Let's talk about this. You're just going through a hard time right now because of the new information," he said trying to calm her down.

"Daffyd, please...I just need you to leave me alone for awhile. I can't keep doing this...whatever we are doing...I need some time to think," she said crying into the phone.

"Ok, Samantha, I'll give you some time. In a few days you'll feel better and you will see this all differently. You just call me whenever you are ready and I'll be here. Ok?" he said.

"Goodbye, Daffyd."

The phone went dead and Daffyd sat there feeling like the carpet had just been pulled out from under him. He thought of calling Seanna but didn't want to worry the girl. You'll just have to be patient...and pray.

# **Chapter 19**

# The Storm Tossed Ship

Daffyd stayed true to his word and gave Samantha her space. October rolled into November, and by then Daffyd had spent hours praying to a God that he wasn't sure was even listening. He went through all the motions that he remembered as a child, and he made it to every church service. He even asked Trisha and Leal to pray for the situation. Finally in mid November he received a letter from Samantha.

Dear Daffyd,

Let me begin by saying that these past few weeks have been some of the hardest in my life, but I have finally come to a decision concerning the two of us. Thank you for allowing me to work through this on my own. I do still care for you more than you can ever know, but I see no future for us. Though we have confessed mutual care and affection for one another, we did not at any time profess to love one another. I spent fifteen years in a relationship with a man who loved me deeply and through my misunderstanding I made both of our lives miserable. I am in no way ready to begin or to carry on a serious relationship again. Because of my strong feelings for you, I also feel that I can't ever just 'be friends'. I ask that you remember me fondly, but that you go on with your life without me in it, just as I will be making my way here without you. Please do not try to convince me otherwise, my mind is made up. I ask you, please, not to call or to contact me. It would only make this all harder on both of us.

I will forever keep you in my prayers,

Samantha

Daffyd sat in shock for a long time before he reread the letter. He had waited all this time and she made her decision without even talking it over with him. She had made herself perfectly clear. She had no time for a sick man with too many problems, and she was just plain afraid! Soon he was out of bed looking for his phone. Of course she never answered but he left her a message.

Samantha, I totally disagree with you! So you have made up your mind. Well what about your heart? If you cared so much then you should at least have the decency to talk to me about it! So much for your loving God...once again He has let me down!

As soon as he hung up the phone he threw it across the room and watched it hit the big ship picture, the phone and the glass shattering into pieces. It didn't take long for Trisha to come rushing in asking what was wrong. She found Daffyd on the floor sobbing and saw the remains of the picture and the phone scattered across the floor. When she tried to help him, he only yelled at her to leave him alone. Quietly she left him there and went to find her husband.

When Samantha got the message, she almost didn't listen to it, but against her better judgment she played it back. After hearing the hurt and anger in his voice she only felt numb. This should have been a warning to her, but she allowed her heart to harden even more. She just couldn't deal with it. It was time that she got on with her life and left all love out of the equation. All I have ever done is make a mess of my life, and ruin other, by my bad choices. I will not ruin another life. Daffyd is young. He'll fall in love with some beautiful young woman and forget all about me.

Trisha and Leal left Daffyd alone for several hours, praying together. They had seen his hold on his new found hope slacken over the past few weeks. They agreed that his supposed life change in the area of religion was just that...religion. Though they had hoped for a complete surrender and a desire for a relationship with God, they only had proof of someone 'playing church'. Not knowing what had set Daffyd off all they could do is pray for God's will. Leal was the one who finally peeked into Daffyd's room. He was sitting in the dark by the window.

"Daffyd, can I come in?" he asked.

"Is Trish with you?"

"Yes, she's right here," Leal answered.

"You can come in, but tell Trish I'm fine. I really don't want to see her right now."

Trisha heard every word and just gave her husband a pat on the arm as he entered the room. He turned on the light after he had shut the door and he could see the scraps of plastic and hardware scattered across the carpet. Daffyd looked haggard. He sat down on the chair opposite the small table in front of the door.

"What's all this about?" he asked motioning to the mess.

"It was either shatter the phone or do something I'd really regret. Phones are cheap," Daffyd answered.

"I meant, why, Daffyd."

"I just snapped. You know I have been giving Samantha some time to work out some new issues with her husband's death and she finally sent me a letter today. It was the big write off! She's done, and you know what, so am I! I'm done! I don't care if I ever get better, I don't care if I ever see her again, and I don't care about the God you all keep telling me about. I have lost everything that ever mattered to me, and now he has taken her away too. I AM DONE."

"Daffyd, man, I am sorry. You're upset right now, but give it some time. God isn't the one who had done all of this..." Leal tried to explain.

"I don't want to hear it!" he interrupted. "From now on, we go back to the way things were before the Sheppard girls ever came. No preaching, no praying and no church. I mean it. If you two can't do that, then leave. I'm going to go and take a long hot bath. Ask Trish to clean this mess up for me. Then I'd like something to eat," he ordered.

"You're the boss," said Leal sadly.

"Let's all try and remember that," said Daffyd as Leal walked out the door.

Leal went down and conveyed it all to his wife, who calmly went to work making a light dinner for Daffyd and set it on a tray. They both went upstairs and quickly cleaned up the mess and let Daffyd know through the closed bathroom door that his dinner was on the table. He didn't answer, so being a little worried; Trisha knocked softly and called his name.

"I heard you," came the terse reply.

"Ok, if you need us we'll be downstairs," Trisha volunteered.

By the time they got back downstairs Trisha was crying. Leal took his wife into his arms and they stood at the bottom of the stairs for a while, just holding each other. Trisha was the one to pull away, wiping her face on her sleeves. She looked up into Leal's concerned face and knew what they had to do. "It's time isn't it?" she asked.

"Yes, I think it is, Honey," he agreed.

"Well, I'll call the hospital and see if they can get someone down here to take care of him. I guess I better call Bryce as well and let him know what is going on. That boy has been through enough. I hate to abandon him now," she said sadly.

"You know we've discussed this all with him before. He knows that the time would come when our time here would be over. We had all hoped that it would be because he'd be healed in body and spirit, but we also discussed the possibility of us needing to leave if that wasn't happening. We can't help him anymore, Trisha, other than through our prayers. Let's take a couple of days to take care of everything. Then how do you feel about going to stay with Grandma Sally for a while?" he asked.

"I think I'd like that, Leal. She is just what we need right now," she said as she reached up and kissed her husband.

# **Chapter 20**

# I Now Am Found

Samantha settled into her life again and went on as if nothing had changed. She taught school, came home to her empty house, and after a little cleaning and a little food, she would read for hours until she would finally feel sleepy enough to go to bed. During the day, or whenever she talked to her daughter, she put on the old familiar mask, telling the world that all was well. But at night, especially when the house was so still and quiet, she would let it slip. She had lost weight and was beginning for the first time in her life to look her age.

The first week of December, Seanna would be home for her winter break. She got a whole month off from school. Samantha was so looking forward to seeing her, but she dreaded it just the same. She didn't want her daughter to see what her life had become, or worse yet to feel sorry for her and refuse to go back to school. She had decorated the house and done some baking forcing herself to at least make the effort to behave like the holidays meant something to her. Finally Seanna was home. She was shocked to see how tired and ragged her mother looked. But she had not bought into the fake happiness that her mother had tried to convey on the phone.

Bryce and Seanna had stayed in touch and he had updated her on the fact that Daffyd had pretty much given up on everything, and that Leal and Trisha had left. The two of them had agreed not to mention it to her mother for now. Seanna knew that her mother could easily be motivated by pity, and though that was an admirable thing, it wasn't a good basis for a love relationship. They also both agreed that the two adults in their lives were stupid. So Seanna ignored the signs of depression and didn't mention Montana at all.

Two weeks before Christmas, Seanna was on the phone with Bryce. He was finally at his uncle's after visiting with his grandparents for a week. For the first time ever Bryce sounded scared. She had heard him mad, irritated, and sometimes even a little despondent, but never afraid.

"Bryce, what's going on?" she asked.

"I just called Trisha and Leal and asked them to come back as soon as possible. I can't handle this all by myself. Sea, things are a mess here, a real mess," he rambled.

"Slow down. What's a mess?" she said.

"When I got here the house was so quiet. There is some kind of a nurse here, but she's weird and she's not much older than you. Apparently she knew I was coming. As soon as I got here, I went looking for Daffyd. She met me on the stairs and ushered me back down and asked if she could talk to me. She proceeded to tell me that Uncle Daffyd didn't have much longer and that she worked for an organization that helped people with their passing. She also said that Uncle Daffyd didn't want to take me away from school, so they hadn't called me."

"Then it really started getting weird, she put her hand on my leg and told me that she was there for the whole family, not just the person who was dying. It was creepy, Sea, it made me feel like I had just had a snake slither over me. So I just got up and practically ran upstairs. When I got in Daffyd's room..." Bryce broke down in tears and couldn't continue.

"Bryce, it's ok. It's all gonna be ok," Seanna soothed.

"Sea, you wouldn't believe it. The place smelled of medicine and...I don't know...disease. The room was dark and I could barely see Daffyd. I was just getting ready to turn on the lights when that woman came in and stopped me. She said the lights bothered his eyes. She turned a lamp on over on the other side of the room so I could at least see him. I thought he was dead, that I was too late..." he had to stop again, "It's awful. He is so out of it, he didn't even know I was there. I had to leave the room. She followed me out and handed me this book that's supposed to help me let go so Uncle Daffyd can become one with the universe or some kind of crap like that. Sea, can you come? I don't have anyone else. I know I should call Gran and Gramps, but I can't have them come with all of this mess. I need my Little Sis," he begged.

"Look, Bryce, I'll figure something out. Are Leal and Trisha on their way?" she asked.

"They said they'd drive straight through," he answered.

"Ok, you just hang tight. I'll be there come hell or high water. Love you Big Bro."

"Thanks, Sea!" he said sounding relieved.

Seanna quickly concocted a plan and went online and purchased two airline tickets for the next morning. During her first week of school, Daffyd had sent her a credit card and told her to use it whenever she needed to. She hadn't felt right about spending his money, but today she was so thankful that she had it. Next she went to find her mom, praying as she went.

"You're sure that Daffyd won't be there?" Samantha asked.

"Mom, you already asked me that three times. He is in the hospital for some new treatment. He has to stay there for a full thirty days under constant watch. Come on, Mom, I told you that Trisha and Leal went to see his Grandma Sally for the holidays and Bryce is up there all alone. He begged," Seanna was only half lying.

"And he bought the tickets already? That wasn't very smart, but I hate to waste money..." Samantha reasoned. "Ok, but I am telling you, Seanna, this doesn't change a thing. I will not be going to the hospital to visit Daffyd...You said he is doing well, right?"

"Yep, he's doing great. He won't be home until after the first week of January. He wanted to do it some other time, but that was the only time available for the specialist," Seanna continued in her plot, asking God to forgive her lies.

"Then we better get packed up if we leave in the morning. And we only stay for one week. I want to be in our own home for Christmas, and if Bryce doesn't want to be alone, he can come back here with us," said Samantha.

"Thanks Mom! You're the best!" squealed Seanna as she practically picked her mom up in a bear hug.

"Get going you," laughed Samantha almost feeling like herself again.

Shortly after three in the afternoon the next day the girls got off the plane and Samantha was totally caught off guard when Trisha and Leal met them at the airport. Trisha promised to explain everything on the way, but warned that it was starting to snow again and that they should get on the road. Leal grabbed their bags and ushered them all out to the four wheel drive SUV. Samantha felt like she was being hijacked and knew that something was not right. As soon as they left the parking lot she cornered her daughter.

"I thought you said that Leal and Trisha were visiting Leal's grandmother," she said.

"Bryce called and asked us to come back. He's in some kind of trouble. We just got off the plane ourselves about forty-five minutes ago and he asked us to wait and pick the two of you up as well," Trisha explained.

"What kind of trouble?" asked Samantha.

"He's having some spiritual trouble and said he needed some prayer warriors," answered Leal quickly, "I guess he's getting four of them!"

"I think it has something to do with a girl," said Seanna staying as close to the truth as she dared.

"Well, I hope we can be of some help. He's such a nice young man," sympathized Samantha.

Trisha started asking them questions about school and what had been going on with the two of them since they last saw each other and the rest of the trip went quickly with no mention of Daffyd or the truth of the situation. As soon as they pulled up, Bryce was out the door to help with the bags. He looked like the cavalry had just arrived in the nick of time. Bryce and Seanna were whispering as they followed behind the others.

"Where is she?" Seanna asked.

"Upstairs with Uncle Daffyd, she's playing some kind of new age meditation music in his room and probably didn't hear you guys pull up," he answered.

When they had all come into the house Bryce asked them to come to the media room right away, saying that he had something he needed to show them. Samantha gave her daughter a questioning look, but Seanna just shrugged and followed him down the hall. They came inside and he shut the door and asked them to all sit down. Nervously he paced around in front of them for a few seconds until Seanna got up and grabbed his hand, keeping him in one place.

"Mom, we have a confession to make. I lied to you about Daffyd to get you here. He needs all of us right now," she stammered.

"What exactly did you lie about, Seanna?" she demanded.

"My Uncle is here and if we don't do something, he is going to die," answered Bryce.

"You two sit down, and I'll try to shed some light on all of this," offered Trisha.

She proceeded to tell Samantha all about the way Daffyd took her letter and how they had left the house. Then she told her about the hospital's answer to Daffyd's condition, sending someone to help him give up and 'die in peace'. Bryce took over then and filled them all in on the new young woman who had taken over the house and his uncle. He was at a total loss at what to do.

"I know that I am a grown man and that I should be able to handle this, but you'll see...something more is going on here than what it seems. She has brought all these crystals into his room, but she shuts out all the light. She plays this weird music in his room all the time, and keeps him so doped up, he doesn't even know what's going on. Something stinks about this whole thing...you'll just have to see..." he finished lamely.

"So where is this woman?" demanded Samantha.

"She is upstairs with Uncle Daffyd," Bryce answered.

"I'm going up there right now," Samantha said as she got out of her chair.

"Mom, shouldn't we pray first," asked Seanna.

"You guys pray. I'm going to see what's going on. You dragged me here and got me in this mess, and I for one, am going to see, for myself, what is happening," she stated.

Samantha got to the top of the stairs with the others close behind her, deciding to pray on the way. Not even knocking, Samantha swept into the room, turning the light on as she came in. It only took a second for her to take in the condition of the room. The curtains had been replaced with some dark thick material so no sunlight would come in. There were both candles and incense burning on the end tables and there was a young woman sitting cross legged on the end of the bed. Her eyes flew open and she jumped up all flustered like a wet hen.

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?" she demanded.

"We, young lady, are his family. We belong here. You on the other hand are not needed anymore. Take all of this...junk and get out," said Samantha using her best 'teacher' voice, as she stormed across the room and opened up all curtains.

"My name is Miss Marsh, and I am not finished here," said the woman, standing her ground.

"You've done more than enough. It's time for you to leave," said Samantha as she walked around the room gathering up the offensive items.

"You don't understand. My job is to help Daffyd accept his passing and move on..." the woman tried to explain.

"No, you don't understand. We don't accept death. We rebuke it! This man is not dying," said Samantha as the others looked on in shock.

"Amen!" said Seanna.

"You can't tell me to leave. I was hired by Mr. Sayvage and only he can tell me to leave," she countered.

Samantha went to the edge of the bed, took Daffyd's hand and gently rubbed his arm. "Daffyd, I need you to wake up," Samantha gently commanded.

The nurse tried to stop her, but Seanna and Trisha both grabbed her by an arm and held her back. She shook them off, but stayed where she was. Finally, Daffyd got his eyes opened and tried to focus in on the face before him.

"Hello, Daffyd," said Samantha with a smile.

"Samantha?" he croaked.

"Yes, Daffyd, I'm here and I need you to wake up. Can you do that for me?" Samantha continued.

"I'm so tired, Samantha...so tired...you didn't come..." he whispered.

"I'm here now, Daffyd. I've come for Christmas and Seanna is here, with Bryce. Can you wake up?" she crooned.

"Where is Trisha and Leal...they're gone Samantha..." he cried.

"Oh, Daffyd," said Trisha as she came to the side of the bed with tears running down her face, "we are right here. We are home again."

"You're all here...all of you, and it's Christmas?" he asked confused.

"We are all here, and we all love you, Daffyd," said Samantha with a catch in her voice.

"We will all be here for Christmas, but right now there is something we need you to do. We need you to tell Miss Marsh that she isn't needed now that we are here," Bryce spoke up.

"You're right, Bryce, we only need each other..." he smiled with his eyes closing again.

"Well, you heard him," said Samantha. "Now Seanna and Bryce you help...Miss Marsh was it...gather up her things and get her on the road before that snow builds up." The girl turned and walked out of the room knowing that it was no good to argue. Her big plans of comforting the hot young nephew and getting in on some of the old man's money were over.

"Leal and Trisha, you help me move Daffyd into my room until we get this one cleaned out!" she reached down and touched Daffyd's sleeping face. "We are home."

Seanna and Bryce escorted the released care giver to her room. She assured them that she didn't need help with packing, but Seanna had a feeling that their ordeal with Miss Marsh wasn't over. Sure enough they found several items stashed away that didn't belong to her. Bryce found his inner-lawyer and told her to keep the things as her final payment for services rendered and to count herself blessed not to have to face criminal charges. He was just thankful that the scheming young woman had never figured out who his uncle really was.

# **Chapter 21**

# It Was All a Dream

Over the next few days, they all cleaned the house, beginning with Daffyd's room, while at least one person stayed with him at all times. Soon he was back in his sunlit room that had been aired of all things unwelcome. They played soft inspirational music at night when he seemed to be the worst. Samantha had taken control, bossing everyone around like she owned the place. They all happily did what she asked, amazed at the change.

She even called the hospital and demanded they send a replacement nurse over. She specified an older, Christian nurse who wanted to see her patients live. When the chief of staff tried to defend his earlier actions she just interrupted him and said, "Dead men don't make donations unless you are in their will, and I'm pretty sure you're not mentioned!"

It took two days for the right nurse to be located. When she showed up, Samantha was so relieved to see a no-nonsense woman in her fifties, that she greeted her with a hug. She got, Mrs. Mallory settled and ended up telling her the whole story from when they first met Daffyd to the most recent events. The woman listened patiently with no emotion on her face whatsoever. When Samantha was finished, Kate, as she asked to be called, wanted to know more about the patient. Samantha went out on a limb and told her the whole truth about Daffyd's identity, his illness and the problem with the heavy medications that he was taking.

"He can be quite the bully when he isn't on drugs. I'm afraid he is not going to be easy to handle getting him off," Samantha explained.

"Honey, I grew up on a cattle ranch with three brothers and I raised two boys of my own. I know how to handle a bully! Let's go take a look at my patient and see what they have him on."

Kate reduced Daffyd's meds right away deeming him strong enough to handle the stress. It didn't take long for him to become more lucid. He still was confused most of the time and was in and out of sleep for the better part of the day. Soon though, he was sleeping peacefully through most of the night. He repeatedly asked if they were 'all really here', not believing his eyes. Several times he mumbled, "it was all a dream."

Kate took a nap during the day and insisted on being the one to sit with him at night, telling the other's she was used to it and that they needed their strength. She was a blessing to them all not just her patient. She was quick with sound advice and just as quick to laugh at something that would tickle her. Time went on and Samantha had to call her principal and ask if he could get someone to fill in until January, telling him that it was a family emergency and asking him to pray.

Once Kate stopped giving him all of the medications, except for the actual treatment of the cancer, Daffyd finally woke up completely. He behaved like a sullen child demanding that they give him the pills that they had taken away. Finally Samantha had had it. Even though Kate was true to her word and handled Daffyd quiet professionally, Samantha snapped. They had been at the table eating a late supper and could all hear him yelling from downstairs. Samantha stood up and mumbled under her breath, 'That is enough,' and rushed upstairs. The others looked at each other with raised eyebrows, Bryce was grinning, and all in one accord they followed her up. She went through the door and found him sitting on the edge of his bed yelling at Kate to leave him alone.

"Daffyd James Sayvage, that is quite enough!" Samantha said using her teacher voice again.

"This...woman is trying to kill me!" Daffyd yelled.

"Stop yelling, Daffyd, we're right here, and no, this woman is trying to save your life. The other one you allowed to come in and take over was the one trying to kill you, and she almost succeeded. Stop behaving like a spoiled rock star, Mr. Savage, and start behaving like a human being," Samantha said calmly as the others came quietly into the room.

"Oh great, now she's gonna tell everyone who I am and ruin everything..." he cried.

"For your information she has known all along who you are. Do you honestly think she would still be here if it mattered to her at all? Of course not, she'd be selling her story to all the tabloids and be sitting pretty, not standing here letting some petulant child try to bully her," countered Samantha.

"Samantha you don't understand, I have cancer and am hurting! I need something to take away the pain," he tried a new tactic.

"I understand perfectly. You sang for years, making money off of your songs that glorified drug use, and now you are getting firsthand experience of what that is like. This isn't the cancer, Daffyd, it's the drugs...you're going through withdrawals," she tried to explain when he interrupted her.

"Oh, and you're all ecstatic to be able to watch me suffer through this...what...divine retribution, is that why you are here?" he said sarcastically.

"Is that what you really think of us Daffyd? You need to grow up! We are all here because we love you. If you can't see that...well, then I am done. Kate stays or I go." Samantha looked over her shoulder to where the others were standing and said, "Do you feel like making a trip to the airport, Leal?"

"Ok..." said Daffyd quietly. "She stays."

"No more bullying, of Kate or anyone else. You all will not let him ride rough shod over you. Trisha and Leal, you are no longer employees here, so he can't fire you. You will pray for this man and you will be yourselves. Bryce, no more walking on eggshells and Seanna...you just do what you always do," she finished with her steam running out. "Now we are going to go and finish our cold meal, and, Kate, you come and eat with us. Daffyd will be fine for a few minutes alone. It might do him some good."

"Samantha, wait..." said Daffyd. She turned back and stood in front of the bed waiting with her hands on her hips. Daffyd was looking up at her face.

"Did you just say that you loved me?" he asked quietly.

"Oh, for goodness sake, Daffyd, of course I love you, why else do you think I would stay here and put up with your foolishness. Grow up!" and with that she stormed out the door while he sat there smiling.

# Chapter 22

# Peace on Earth

Things began to look up at The Mountain Home. It was two days before Christmas and Daffyd was eating well, walking around a bit, and was completely finished with all withdrawal symptoms. They had all discussed his treatment options, all six of them, and decided that Daffyd was not going to have anymore treatments for a while. He hadn't yet surrendered his heart or asked Jesus to be his Lord, but with all the prayers and Bible reading, he believed that God could heal him. The rest of them agreed that it was a good beginning. In fact Kate had gone home to spend the holidays with her family, now that Daffyd had become more stable. She told them she could come any time to help out. Samantha had taken the role of the head of the house and had told Daffyd that Trisha and Leal were back on the payroll.

Bryce, Seanna and Leal had gone out for a Christmas tree. Trisha was in the kitchen doing what she did best, preparing all sorts of holiday treats. She even made some old fashioned Christmas cut-out sugar cookies and was letting them cool for everyone to decorate together. Samantha was with Daffyd in his room wrapping a few things that he had ordered months ago over the internet.

"I feel so bad, I don't have anything to give out," said Samantha.

"I just feel blessed that I have someone to give gifts to," said Daffyd. "If you all hadn't come back to rescue me, I would be all alone with that crazy woman, or dead."

"I don't understand how you allowed her to take over the way she did," she said.

"At first, I guess I really didn't care. When you wrote me that last letter...well...I guess I just lost all hope. My life had been so much different since meeting you... and I guess I just couldn't face going back to the way it was before," he explained. "Then once she upped the dosage of all those drugs, I was too out of it to notice. I remember her asking me a lot of questions about Bryce, how old he was and if he would inherit everything. Now I can see she was scheming from the beginning. I think she had plans to live here nice and comfy until I died and then somehow snag Bryce and 'win the lottery'."

"I am sorry Daffyd for the way I handled all of this, you know...between us. I guess we both fell back to our old standbys, me and my mask and you and your anger at God. We both just let our hearts harden again and were behaving selfishly."

"You're right. Why do you think we are so slow to learn? I'm surprised that God continues to have any patience with us. Sometimes I feel like I've just screwed up too much for him to ever want me back," he confided.

"I guess we are no different than all the people in the Bible. They certainly weren't perfect. David, the 'man after God's own heart' had an affair with a married woman, and then had her husband killed. Abraham and Isaac both lied about their wives, saying they weren't married just to protect their own hides. Peter denied Christ three times after Jesus even warned him. I could keep going, but the point is that forgiveness is just His nature. He is Love. He doesn't just have it, or use it," said Samantha.

"Sometimes it just seems so overwhelming. I feel like I can almost hear Him, and then...I don't know...I guess I get scared," he said.

"What are you afraid of?" she asked.

"I don't know...rejection, maybe. Maybe that I will expect too much and be let down..." he said quietly.

"I wish I had some easy answer for you, really I do. But we all have to come to the place where we need Him more than anything else, when nothing else will satisfy. I guess that's where my problem was. I expected Richard to fill a spot that only a relationship with God could. Then when I discovered my feelings for you, I put those first. We need to love God more than anything and anyone, and that isn't always easy," said Samantha.

"Don't give up on me, Samantha. I may be taking a long time to figure this all out, but I want it to be real."

"I won't give up on you, but seriously, you don't have to 'figure' anything out Daffyd. You just have to believe. I don't understand it all. I just know He loves me, and that's enough for me," she explained.

"I guess that's where I am having trouble, getting around my head and letting my heart take over," said Daffyd.

"Well...you've been able to let your heart lead with me, haven't you?" she said with a smile.

"I just couldn't help myself!" he smiled back.

"You'll get to that place with God, too Daffyd. You will see who He really is, and you won't be able to control it. You'll fall madly in love with Him," she promised.

"You know, I've been thinking about my parents a lot lately. I guess I'm feeling guilty for shutting them out all these years. They are great people; they raised me in a home filled with love and acceptance. What I saw as controlling was really an attempt to protect me from all the junk that I ended up going through. I've been thinking of calling them and trying to repair all the damage I've done."

"Will you tell them that you've been sick?" she asked.

"Before, I thought that I didn't want to worry them, but now I think I was afraid that somehow their knowing would make it more real. That sounds so incredibly stupid, but it's true. So...yeah, I think it's time to come clean about it all. I wish I would have done it sooner and maybe they would have been able to come for Christmas. Now it's too late, they always put on a big dinner at their house and invite people who don't have families around. Every year they invite Bryce and me, but I have consistently turned them down. Bryce of course stays with me, so I won't be alone, which also sounds very selfish. I'm starting to make myself sick thinking of the way I have treated the people who love me," he said sadly.

"Then don't think about it! Let's finish up this wrapping and go see what that wonderful smell is coming from the kitchen. Then later, if you want, I'll sit with you while you call your mom and dad."

Not much later Leal and Bryce were dragging a huge tree into the house. Leal had already made a makeshift tree stand big enough to hold it. The boys set it up right in front of the big windows and it went up as high as the bedroom balcony. It was no sooner up and well watered when they realized that the few decorations that Daffyd owned wouldn't begin to cover the tree. Samantha camped Daffyd out on the couch, close to the fireplace and covered him with blankets, then went to pop popcorn to string. Bryce and Seanna went looking for scissors, glue and paper, and Trisha and Leal started hanging the lights. Fortunately Daffyd had strung some lights outside the house a few years back and had enough to cover the tree from top to bottom with pure white lights. They all moved to the kitchen table and decorated the cookies, made paper chains and strung popcorn.

"Um, Daffyd, I think that the frosting is supposed to go on your cookie, not in your mouth," said Seanna seriously with her eyebrows raised.

"You frost what you want to, and I'll frost what I want to, little girl," said Daffyd as he piped more red frosting into his mouth.

"If we run out of frosting, we'll have to cut out your tongue and hang it on the tree for a decoration," warned Bryce.

"Ok, ok! I am putting the frosting on this fat red Santa...see?" he said holding up the finished cookie.

"That's better," said Seanna in a perfect imitation of her Mom's teacher's voice.

"Don't you think you should take a break and get a little nap in before dinner?" asked Trisha.

"If you will promise to wait and decorate the tree after I wake up."

"Deal," said Trisha.

Bryce walked with his uncle up the stairs, just to make sure he didn't need some help on the way. Trisha and Samantha cleaned up the cookie mess, most of it Daffyd's, while Seanna and Leal continued to string popcorn. Samantha felt full. A week ago her heart was empty and hard and now she didn't think she had room for another drop of happiness. Well maybe a little more...if Daffyd was cancer free and if he could once and for all surrender himself to God. I could handle that!

"What are you smiling about?" asked Trisha.

"I am just happy," said Samantha, "to be back here and for Daffyd to be doing so much better. I'm so glad you two came back. I feel like we are all a family and I'm so grateful that God has given me a second chance at that."

"I have to admit, this is going to be the best Christmas that we've had in years. I only wish that Daffyd's parents could be here. He is so stubborn about that. You'd think he would want to spend as much time as he can with them," said Trisha.

"Actually, we were just talking about that this morning. He plans on calling them today, but said that it would be too late for them to change their plans and come," Samantha said.

"Mom, Trisha, come here for a minute," said Seanna. "I heard what you said about Daffyd's parents and I thought you should know...they will be here for Christmas."

"What?" Trisha and Samantha both exclaimed.

"Well, Bryce invited them. He sent them a letter asking them to come for Christmas before he left school. His plan was to surprise Daffyd and force him to reconcile with his grandparents. Then when everything happened, he kind of spaced it off. They called him yesterday and...well...they'll be here tomorrow, you know for Christmas Eve..." she trailed off.

"How in the world are we going to explain everything to them!?" asked Samantha as she slumped into the nearest chair.

"We don't have to," said Leal.

"You're right, Hun. We'll leave that to Daffyd," agreed Trisha.

"But...what will they think of Seanna and I being here? What if they think we are like that woman that we just rescued Daffyd from?" Samantha worried.

"Oh, please, Mom. Any person in their right mind would be able to see how much you love Daffyd," said Seanna.

"But how could I ever possibly explain that I have only been a widow for less than a year, or that I am so much older than him! If I was his mother I wouldn't trust me," exclaimed Samantha.

"Ok, now you aren't even making sense. Take a deep breath," suggested Trisha. "We can both vouch for you."

"Nobody could have planned this all out. With all that has happened the past few months, it's been like a made for TV series. It has to be pretty obvious that it all just happened, probably orchestrated by God. Daffyd would probably be dead by now if your car hadn't broken down that day," stated Leal.

"Leal's right, Mom," agreed Seanna.

"About what?" asked Bryce as he returned to the table.

"I told them about your grandparents," Seanna admitted.

"I almost told Daffyd just now, but he was so tired...and I guess I'm a big chicken," Bryce replied. "So what was Leal right about?"

"Mom's freaked that they are going to think she is a cradle robber or a grave robber or some such bologna."

"I already told them about the two of you breaking down this summer and I also included the fact that your being here got Uncle Daffyd to church."

"Did you also tell them that my husband has only been gone for a few months and that I'm five years older than Daffyd?" asked Samantha.

"No, they don't even know that he's sick, and I had no way of knowing that you two would be here right now. Honestly, you kind of broke things off with Daffyd so I didn't have a need to explain. I asked them to come before I left school for winter break never imagining all that would happen," Bryce explained.

"You're right...I'm sorry, Bryce. I guess I am just nervous about meeting them," Samantha said.

"Why don't you think about Daffyd and forget all the other stuff. He's going to have a lot of explaining to do, and he will probably need you there beside him for support," suggested Trisha.

"I did just offer this morning to be there with him when he called. Bryce, Daffyd had just talked to me this morning about coming clean to his parents. Do you think he should still call?" asked Samantha.

"They wouldn't be home. They were driving in and staying the night with some friends before their flight. I have to pick them up at ten tomorrow morning."

"Well, then do you think we should tell Daffyd?" asked Leal.

"You know the way he is, Honey. He'd get all mad that Bryce went over his head and freak out," said Trisha.

"Maybe not, he has changed so much the past few days," said Seanna.

"I say just let them come and let him deal with it," offered Samantha. "He needs to make this right with his parents, and this will force him to handle it once and for all."

"I agree," said Trisha.

"That was my point all along," said Bryce.

# **Chapter 23**

# All I Want For Christmas

Later Samantha went to see if Daffyd felt up to watching them put the last few touches on the tree. She slipped into his room and quietly lay down next to him on the bed. He was all curled up with the blankets tucked up under his chin. Samantha lay facing him and just watched him for a few minutes. He looked peaceful, much better than when they had first gotten here. He still looked unwell. His cheeks were sunken in as well as his eyes. He had dark circled under his eyes that almost looked like bruises. Samantha reached out and ran the back of her hand across his cheek and Daffyd slowly opened his eyes. He blinked a few times and then a lazy smile came to his face.

"Hi there," he said sleepily.

"Hey," said Samantha with a smile.

"You're beautiful, did you know that?" said Daffyd.

"You're pretty beautiful yourself," she answered.

Daffyd laughed and shook his head. "Did I mention you're also a little touched in the head."

"I'm serious. You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met," Samantha insisted.

"Well at one time, I was lauded as one of the "Most Beautiful People of Rock". But that was before I lost fifty pounds and lost my blonde mane of hair."

"Oh, but I was talking about the inside. Those people never saw the person you really are. They only saw the person they wanted you to be. I love you, Daffyd Sayvage, not "Savage" the rock star. In fact I'm pretty sure I don't like him at all." She smiled.

Daffyd reached up and smoothed her hair back from her face. They looked at each other for a few minutes until Daffyd pulled her closer. Samantha's face was just inches away from Daffyd's. "Samantha."

"Yes, Daffyd."

"I think I know what I want for Christmas."

"What do you want for Christmas?" she asked.

"I want a kiss, a real kiss, you know...like on the lips."

"Oh, so the kiss you gave me on the forehead doesn't count? Or the kisses I have given you on the cheek or on the hand?" she teased.

"As lovely as those all were...I feel like there is more. Will you give me a kiss for Christmas?"

"Sure...on Christmas morning."

Daffyd laughed. "Ok, on Christmas morning. Promise?"

"Promise! Now sleeping beauty, how about we go downstairs so they can finish up the tree and light it up for you?"

"Ok, but how about one of those forehead kisses before you get up off my bed."

"Oh, no. I have more sense than that. First you get up, then I will give you your forehead kiss. I am not kissing you while we are lying together in your bed."

"Well, technically you aren't in the bed, and I am offended that after all we've been through, you don't trust me," he said pretending to be hurt.

Samantha jumped up off the bed and said, "It's not you I don't trust."

Daffyd threw back his head and laughed again. Finally he got up out of bed and Samantha brought him his warm robe and slippers. When he was ready to go downstairs, he stood there looking at her expectantly. So Samantha reached up with both hands and tilted his head down, stood on her tippy toes and planted a big kiss on his forehead.

"Ok, now I am ready," said Daffyd.

When they got downstairs, Trisha had made open faced sandwiches in the oven and some homemade soup. They were already sitting around the table waiting for the two latecomers.

"Wow, something smells good," said Daffyd.

"Of course it does. I knew it would take something special to bring you two downstairs," teased Trisha.

"Yep, Samantha just didn't want to come down..." said Daffyd.

Samantha just gave him her teacher look. "Let's pray so we can eat this while it is still warm."

"Father, thank you for this food and the wonderful hands that made it. Thank you for friends and family and for a beautiful Christmas tree. Amen," prayed Daffyd before anyone else could.

"Amen!" said everyone else.

Soon they were stuffed and ready to finish up the tree. Daffyd once again was made comfortable on the couch wrapped up in a blanket. Samantha hung a few decorations and then sat down next to Daffyd, snuggling into his blanket with him. They watched as the other four hung the cookies and the strings of popcorn. Seanna's hand cut paper decorations looks lovely in the green boughs. When all was finished, Bryce ran upstairs and told them all to wait. When he came down he had an old box in his hands. When he opened it Daffyd gasped.

"That's Mom's star...she always puts it on her tree.

It's from Wales. What's it doing here?" asked Daffyd.

"Grandma gave it to me this summer. She said that she wanted you to have it for your tree. I told her you don't always put one up, but she insisted. She said that she had a feeling that this year would be different," answered Bryce.

"Well she was right and it is beautiful," said Samantha.

"Daffyd you should be the one to put it on the tree! Can you help him up the ladder Leal?" asked Seanna.

"Sure, do you feel up to it?" asked Leal.

"If Mom could give up one of her prized possessions for my tree, then I can climb a ladder to put it up there," said Daffyd.

It took some maneuvering to get it done. Bryce and Seanna held on to the bottom of the ladder to keep it stable. Shortly Daffyd and Leal both had their feet planted firmly on the ground once again and Daffyd stepped back and gazed up at the tree. He looked sad and happy at the same time and had tears rolling down his face. Samantha soon was there for a hug and the others just couldn't resist. When the huge group hug was over they all sat down while Bryce finished up with the grand finale. He plugged in the lights and they all "ooohed and aaawed" over the wonderful spectacle.

"We need some Christmas music," said Seanna. "You're a musician, Daffyd, certainly you have something for Christmas."

"No," Daffyd laughed, "I don't own a single Christmas CD. How about you Trish?"

"We left in such a big hurry, I never grabbed our CD's," answered Trisha.

"Who needs a CD? We have a gifted musician and singer in our midst. You can start us out and we'll follow," suggested Bryce.

"Yes, sing for us, Daffyd," said Seanna.

Daffyd started singing -

"Ave Maria..." he sang.

As the last noted died, he opened his eyes to see everyone around him sitting silently. They all either had tears in their eyes, or were crying outright. Samantha gave Daffyd another big hug as the others wiped their eyes and self consciously smiled or hid their faces.

"That was so... special," Seanna said in awe. "That didn't sound anything like your stage voice."

"Thank you, I think..." said Daffyd.

"No offence, Daffyd, but wow, you can sing. I love that song, and I have never heard it sang like that before," she said.

"I don't think I've ever sang it like that before. I wanted to play a joke and just picked a Christmas song that I thought you wouldn't be able to sing along with, but when I sang that first couple of words; I just thought about how wonderful it is to have you all here and how thankful I am that you are." Daffyd said looking at them all.

"The joke was on you," chuckled Leal. "Now we're gonna make you sing that every Christmas." That caused the girls to start sniffling again.

"What, you don't think I'll be around another Christmas?" asked Daffyd in mock surprise.

"Of course we do, Daffyd, don't be a jerk!" grouched Trisha, which made them all laugh, including Trisha.

# **Chapter 24**

# ' **Twas the Night Before Christmas**

Christmas Eve day dawned bright and sunny. The snow covered landscape looked like mounds of sparkling diamonds in the early morning light. Samantha gazed out of her window as she asked God to bless this day and to bring reconciliation to Daffyd and his parents. She had spent several sleepless hours the night before worrying about meeting them today, but finally she heard that still small voice asking her to put her trust in Him. This morning her mind was at peace and she was resigned to deal with whatever happened today with the grace and love that she hoped to receive.

Bryce and Leal had already left for the airport by the time Samantha made it downstairs. Seanna was at the bar munching on a huge muffin still warm out of the oven. Trisha was humming 'Away in a Manger' as she puttered around in the kitchen. She had a big pair of sweater slippers on that went almost up to her knees.

"Hey, nice slippers," said Samantha as she sat down next to her daughter.

"You like?" she asked as she pranced around the kitchen. "They were an early present from my love this morning."

"My feet are always cold, so yeah, I like," Samantha laughed.

"Is Daffyd awake yet?" asked Trisha.

"No, he was still sleeping peacefully. I figured with all that is going on today, I better let him rest as long as he can," answered Samantha.

"Yeah, I prayed last night before I went to sleep and again this morning when I got up," said Seanna.

"Are you still nervous, Samantha?" asked Trisha.

"I sure was last night, but now I feel pretty good about it. Daffyd and Bryce both talk highly of his parents and I know that we are all here because it is where God wants us. So I am leaving it in his hands and believing that this will be a time of breakthrough for Daffyd," answered Samantha.

"Isn't it all kind of crazy...you know all that has happened in the last year," said Seanna. "It's like we've been on this huge rollercoaster ride! First Dad dies, Mom and I are left struggling with bills and we end up at another funeral. Those would be the lows. Then we meet you all, I get a full ride scholarship and Mom and Daffyd fall in love, that's definitely the ride up. Next, Mom freaks out and that causes Daffyd to lose it. Leal and Trisha leave and Daffyd almost dies, down we go again, hanging on for dear life. Now here we are all together again and I just know that everything will be wonderful with Bryce's grandparents here for Christmas," explained Seanna.

"I have to admit, this has been a hard couple of months. I really had my faith tested! But God is good. And here comes Daffyd..." said Trisha as she saw Daffyd coming down the stairs. "Good morning sleepy head."

"What do you three beautiful ladies think of our winter wonderland out there?" he asked.

"It's beautiful! We get lots of snow in Wisconsin, but no mountains. It looks like a movie set out there," said Seanna.

"Come sit Daffyd. Would you like some tea and a muffin?" asked Trisha.

"So that's the lovely smell. I have to admit Trish, when you were gone I missed waking up to the smell of good food, well when I was aware anyway."

Daffyd sat down next to Seanna and snitched a crumb off of her plate.

"Patience is a virtue," she said not even turning her head.

"Well then I must be real virtuous," he stated.

"Why?"asked Seanna looking at him with lowered brows.

"Your mother is making me wait for my Christmas present," he replied.

Samantha almost choked on her coffee.

"Daffyd!" she exclaimed.

"Ok, that's all I need to know," said Seanna shaking her head.

Daffyd just laughed as he took his plate from Trisha. "Where are the boys?"

"Oh, they had to run to town, I forgot something I needed for our Christmas feast and figured everything would be closed after noon today," said Trisha.

"Speaking of feast, what's on the menu?" asked Seanna, changing the subject.

"Daffyd likes turkey and Bryce likes ham, so I am making both. Then I have a great recipe for stuffing that has fruits and nuts. Homemade sourdough rolls, sweat potato casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy. For dessert I am making pumpkin pie and Leal's grandma's recipe for pecan pie."

"That does sound like a feast and maybe a few extra pounds," laughed Samantha.

"I don't want to ruin my fine figure," teased Daffyd.

"You're hilarious," said Seanna dryly.

"I happen to think so. What about tonight? I want to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Miracle on 34th Street" and we'll need some good Christmas treats for that," asked Daffyd.

Before Trisha could answer, Seanna huffed and rolled her eyes.

"What?" asked Daffyd.

"Mom has issues with "It's a Wonderful Life"," stated Seanna.

"No I don't!" said her mom. "I like both of those movies."

"Every time we watch it she goes through the whole speal of how angels aren't dead people and how God made angels and man, one doesn't turn into another. But whenever we watch her favorite Christmas movie, "A Christmas Carol" does she ever point out that there is no such thing as Ghosts? Noooo...."

"I never thought of that! Thanks, now I'm gonna have an issue with that one as well," Samantha said truly surprised.

The other's laughed at her disappointment.

"But I will continue to like both of them, and just overlook the parts that aren't Scriptural," Samantha conceded.

"Ok, so change of plans, we will watch "It's a Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Carol" instead of "Miracle on 34th Street". But the most important thing is...what will we be eating when we are watching them?" asked Daffyd, trying to get back to his original question.

"How about if we do an early dinner and have it in the media room while we are watching movies? I can do snacks and hors d'oeuvres. Your stomach has been doing pretty good Daffyd, so how about I make a Mexican Wedding Cake with cream cheese frosting? That would be great with some of my salted caramel hot cocoa."

"I do love the Mexican wedding cake...but I kind of had my heart set on making popcorn balls today. My mom used to always make them with Gareth and I. She'd color the marshmallow stuff green and red," said Daffyd hopefully.

Samantha and Trisha looked up at each other, both thinking how great it would be to make those with his mom in person today.

"Sure, why not," replied Trisha.

"I am sure Leal and Bryce would want to get in on that too," said Seanna catching on.

"Why don't we wait until the guys get back from town. Daffyd, didn't you have a phone call to make? Why don't we go up to your room and do that while we are waiting?" offered Samantha.

"Yes," said Daffyd with a heavy sigh, "I guess there is no point putting it off any longer. You two pray for me while we are up there. I decided to call my parents and tell them the truth...about everything."

"Sure, Daffyd, we'll pray," said Seanna.

As Daffyd and Samantha got up and headed towards the stairs, Trisha called after him, "Daffyd, I am proud of you!"

He turned and said, "Thanks, Trish, that means a lot to me."

When they got upstairs, Daffyd stood there stalling. Samantha led him over to sit at his desk and handed him the phone.

"Wait," he said, "shouldn't we pray first?"

"You're right, Daffyd. We most certainly should pray first. Heavenly Father, we thank you for bringing restoration to our lives. We thank you that, today; you are bringing restoration to Daffyd and his parents. I ask you to bring a peace to Daffyd's heart and forgiveness and understanding to his parents. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Samantha sat down on the bed and waited for Daffyd to dial. He took a deep breath and punched in the number. After several seconds, Daffyd spoke into the phone.

"Hi...It's me, Daffyd. Just wanted to wish you both a Merry Christmas and tell you how much I love you. I have something I want to talk to you about, so when you get back after the holidays can you give me a call?...Well...love you, bye." He managed to look relieved and discouraged at the same time.

"They weren't home, and they said they would be gone for the holidays. They never leave for Christmas, and they never even called to tell me Merry Christmas..."

"Well, it's not Christmas yet. Don't worry about it you'll get a chance," she said trying to comfort him.

"You prayed today, that we'd get reconciliation today. I was all pumped up. Now it's just going to be harder the longer I wait."

"Daffyd, sometimes things don't happen the way we want for a reason. God knows better than we do. His way is always better. So let's just trust that it's all gonna work out. Ok?"

"Ok," he said as he got up and walked over to her. "I know what would make me feel better."

"Popcorn balls?" she asked.

"No," he said as he took both of her hands in his.

"A Christmas movie and some hot chocolate?" she said smiling up at him.

"Wrong again."

"Ok, I give up."

"My Christmas kiss," he said as he gently pulled her to a standing position.

"It isn't Christmas yet..." she whispered as she put her head down, afraid to look him in the eyes.

"Samantha, look at me," he said. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Are you sad?" he asked.

"No...I just feel so happy right now Daffyd. I never thought I would ever feel this way about anyone. I thought that my life was pretty much set. I have even decided that I was comfortable with the way my life had turned out."

"Then you met me, and all hell broke loose," he smiled.

"As true as that may be, meeting you has also brought heaven closer."

"I love you, Samantha, more than I ever thought was humanly possible."

"I love you too, Daffyd, more than I had ever hoped for..."

She lifted her face to his. Daffyd kissed her, soft and sweet, letting go of her hands, holding the back of her head with one hand and placing the other under her chin. Samantha opened her eyes and gazed into his with love and longing. They kissed again with her arms entwined around his neck, a longer, slower kiss. When they broke apart, they both felt weak at the knees.

"I think that we better head back downstairs," said Samantha weakly.

"As much as I would love to stay right here...I think you are right."

They came down the stairs hand in hand. Samantha even blushing, when her daughter looked up at them with her eyebrows raised and a big smile on her face. Trisha was still in the kitchen and Seanna was on Bryce's laptop. As Daffyd and Samantha got close, Seanna quickly closed the page that she was on.

"The guys should be here soon, maybe we should start popping some pop corn," she offered.

"We have to do it on the stove, no microwave popcorn for Mom's traditional popcorn balls," stated Daffyd. "We always used this big pot with a lid."

"Well then come right over. I'll get the pan and the popcorn, and you, sir, can pop the first pan full," said Trisha as she rummaged around for just the right pan with a lid. "I hope I have enough butter..."

"I think I saw some more in the freezer in the garage, Trisha," said Samantha. "I'll go get it."

Before Samantha could get back with a couple of pounds of butter, Daffyd had the first pot popped. He insisted that it was put in a brown paper bag until they had enough popped to make a pile of popcorn balls. Trisha was getting a kick out of Daffyd bossing her around in the kitchen like she was a novice. Seanna took over on the fifth pot of popcorn so Daffyd could sit for a bit.

"Are you sure we need this much?" asked Samantha looking into the paper grocery bag that was over half full.

"Mom always used a full bag," said Daffyd.

"How many brothers did you say you had?" teased Seanna.

"It was just the two of us. But I do vaguely remember us giving a few away,"

"Like maybe to your whole Sunday school class?" ventured Seanna.

"Now that you mention it..."

Just then they could hear the door from the garage open.

"We are in the kitchen," yelled Daffyd.

"Do I smell popcorn?" came a female voice behind them.

Daffyd looked confused and turned around on the bar stool right as they all came into the kitchen. He jumped up out of the chair like it had burned him and stood there staring.

"Well, son, aren't you going to come and give your Mother and I a hug?"

"What are you two doing here?" he asked as they all hugged.

"We were invited," said Daffyd's mom.

"Surprise?" said Bryce, unsure of his uncle's reaction.

"That it is!" laughed Daffyd. "I just tried to call you this morning. When your answering machine said you would be out of town for a while, I never dreamed you were on your way here."

"Why don't I take your coats," offered Trisha.

"Hi, honey, nice to see you and Leal again," said Daffyd's mom as they both handed over their jackets.

"Why don't we all have a seat," said Bryce as he motioned to the table.

"And who are the two pretty girls in your kitchen, Daffyd?" asked his Dad.

"Oh man, where are our manners? Grandma and Grandpa, this is Seanna and Samantha. Remember the ones I told you about who broke down this summer? Seanna and Samantha, this is my Grandma Lucille and Grandpa Bryson," introduced Bryce.

Lucille Sayvage was a woman who looked like a grandma. She was plump and had white hair and a ready smile. A little shorter than her husband she was still taller than Seanna and Samantha. Bryson too had a full head of white hair. He looked like an older healthier Daffyd.

"Nice to meet you," said Samantha.

"We are so glad you are here to share Christmas with us," beamed Seanna. "In fact, Daffyd insisted we make your popcorn balls today and he has been popping corn like a fiend."

"Would anybody like some tea or coffee?" asked Trisha.

"I would love a cup of coffee," said Lucille.

"I could drink a cup," said Bryson.

"Tea for me, Trish," said Daffyd.

"We have some muffins left over from breakfast this morning, since the two biggest eaters weren't here. Trisha made them fresh this morning..." offered Seanna.

"I never pass up homemade anything," laughed Daffyd's dad.

Daffyd's parents tried not to stare at their son, and Lucille was fighting back tears. Samantha stood in the kitchen praying silently for the whole situation. Daffyd was playing with the tablecloth and trying to avoid his mother's eyes.

"So how was the flight?" he asked.

"It was just fine. We were a little worried about flying in with all the snow, but the runway was clear and dry as well as the roads out here," answered Bryson.

They made small talk back and forth while Trisha got the coffee made. Just as she put the muffins on the table and Samantha left the cups of coffee for their guests, Daffyd's mom gave up all pretence of normalcy.

"Daffyd, I can't pretend like everything is fine...you look awful...your hair is gone, you look like those pictures from Auschwitz..." stammered Lucille.

"Why don't we all take the bags upstairs and give them some space," suggested Leal.

"Samantha, could you stay please?"pleaded Daffyd.

"Sure, Daffyd," she answered quietly as she took the chair next to his.

Daffyd proceeded to break the news of his physical condition as gently as possible. Once he got started, the dam broke and he shared all the mixed up feelings and circumstances from when he first started his professional career and ended up almost dying alone. He apologized for his behavior, his lying and for letting so much come between them. By the time he was finished, they were all crying.

"Can you forgive me?" asked Daffyd through his tears.

"Oh, Daffyd, of course we forgive you and our love for you has never wavered," answered his Father.

"What kind of treatments are you taking?" asked his mother.

"We discussed this when everyone got back here and rescued me from that awful girl, and we decided that I am not going to take anymore treatment."

"We have agreed to stand in prayer and believe that Daffyd will be cancer free," offered Samantha.

"So...you're a Christian?" asked Lucille.

"Yes, Mrs. Sayvage, I am."

"Please, just Lucille and Bryson. I started praying for my boys, when they were just babies that they would find good Christian wives. Gareth found Rebecca and they were perfect for each other. And I never gave up hope for Daffyd. You must really love him to put up with all of this."

"I do," said Samantha squeezing Daffyd's hand. "But I am afraid when you hear the whole story; you may change your mind."

"Samantha, you don't have to qualify yourself, and nothing you would say will un-qualify yourself," said Daffyd's dad.

"Thank you, but I still want to be honest... I am a thirty-five year old widow of less than one year. I am almost flat broke and though I am a Christian, I still make a lot of mistakes. Like leaving Daffyd to fight his battle alone..."

"Thanks for sharing, honey, but truly, I am usually a good judge of character. It's a gift, and I have nothing but peace in my heart when it comes to you. Bryce spoke highly of you and your daughter, and just the fact that you were willing to share says a lot. The fact that you are older than my son makes no difference at all. In fact your added wisdom has obviously done him some good. And who are we to judge when someone is ready to begin their life over after a death?" answered Lucille.

"Thank you for being so understanding," said Samantha.

"No, thank you for taking care of our prodigal," said Bryson.

"I am afraid that all of this excitement has made me a little tired...I hate to lose out on even a minute of your time here, but if I don't rest now, I may pay for it later," said Daffyd disappointed.

"Go and rest son. We can stay as long as you want. There isn't anything we can't reschedule or find someone else to take care of back home," said Bryson.

"Actually I wouldn't mind having a short nap myself," said Lucille. "And then we can tackle those popcorn balls."

"I'll show you where you'll be staying and give the others the 'all clear'," laughed Samantha.

"I'll walk you to your room, Son, then I am coming back to eat these muffins!" Daffyd's dad said, eyeing the plate that sat untouched on the table.

"Just don't ruin your appetite, I am sure that Trisha has something tasty planned," warned Samantha.

Later they all had butter up to their elbow and several piles of popcorn balls cooling on waxed paper. Bryce was eating as much as he was forming. His lips were staining red as he was not eating any of the green treat. Lucille and Bryson were sharing stories of when Daffyd and Gareth were growing up and some funny ones from Bryce's younger years. Seanna laughed the hardest, having to even run to the bathroom at one point, afraid she'd pee her pants. Samantha was enjoying learning more about Daffyd. He went from laughing to blushing and back again depending on how embarrassing the stories were. Bryce never once got embarrassed but laughed at his earlier antics as if he was hearing stories of someone else's life.

"Do you remember the time Gareth and I hid Dad's paddle in the basement?" asked Daffyd.

"Yes, somehow you boys figured that you wouldn't get a paddling if I couldn't find the paddle," laughed his Dad.

"Do you remember what happened right after that when I caught you two taking money out of my purse?" asked Lucille.

"Yep, we got it with your wooden spoon since Dad couldn't find the paddle. It hurt so much worse that I ran down and retrieved the paddle and handed it right to Dad," said Daffyd.

"Your Dad thought it was so cute that he didn't have the heart to punish either one of you," his mom laughed.

"So who gave you the most problems, be honest?" asked Daffyd.

"Well if you are talking about while you were all still little, then it would have been Gareth. He was daring and headstrong and not afraid of anything. Needless to say he probably had a few more paddlings than you," answered Bryson.

"But you get the prize for the hardest adult," said his Mom.

"Do you think I'm more like mom or dad?" asked Bryce.

"Well...if we are being honest...your personality is a lot like your Uncle Daffyd's," laughed Lucille.

"How can that be, we hardly spent very much time together, and it's not like it could be genetic," said Bryce as Daffyd covered a chuckle.

"You're both very strong willed. Where Daffyd's comes out as stubbornness," they all looked at Daffyd and he managed to look contrite, "You just stand firm on what you believe. You're not easily swayed or moved. Also, when you love, you love with your whole heart. Daffyd was always tender hearted growing up."

"What happened?" asked Trisha with a smirk.

"You'd have to ask Daffyd that," answered his mother.

"Well, Daffyd, let's hear it," said Seanna. "Some girl in sixth grade break your heart, some bullies in eighth grade call you a long haired hippy, what was it?"

"Nope, nothing so obvious. I'm not really sure. I guess if I knew that half of my battle would be won. Somewhere along the way I became more interested in me than in anyone else. Then every choice I made just fed the selfish monster inside," he tried to answer truthfully.

"But now you know better and you can live the rest of your life unselfishly," stated his father.

"I am sure gonna do my best, Dad, no matter how quickly that passes."

"Oh, hush that talk. You have a long life ahead of you!" said his mom.

"Amen," said a few others.

"From your mouths to God's ears," said Daffyd.

"Of course, that's exactly the way it works," smiled Seanna.

**Chapter 25**

Between The Rock And A Hard Place

They all enjoyed each other's company over the holidays. Daffyd and his parents spent hours talking, catching up and sharing old memories. Samantha and Lucille also spent time together talking and praying. Bryce was deliriously happy having all of his family together in one place, after years of strain and separation. Seanna was enjoying the whole thing! For the first time in her life she felt like she had an extended family. Her whole life had been lived without siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins.

Now with Leal and Trisha as aunt and uncle, Bryce as a brother and his grandparents behaving like she was one of their own grandchildren, she finally knew how wonderful family was. They all put off discussing what the plan would be now that the New Year was passed. The two college kids had a few weeks left of their winter break and Samantha was supposed to be back to school in just a few days. Finally one evening Daffyd broached the subject.

"So, Bryce, when do your second semester classes begin?"

"I have to be back on January 26th. When do yours start Sea?"

"Actually, the same day," Seanna answered. "Mom, your class starts next Monday. Did they find someone to take your place?"

"Last time I checked they were still looking," she answered.

"If they can't find someone, you could always go back and finish out the year," suggested Daffyd.

"I am not leaving you again, Daffyd," she stated.

"What about those kids?" Daffyd asked her quietly. "Don't you have a responsibility to them?"

"That's not fair Daffyd, you almost died!" she exclaimed.

"Only because I was stupid and stubborn," he laughed.

"Oh, and now you are smart and flexible?"she laughed back.

"Smarter than I was, and maybe a tad less stubborn. But stubborn can be a good thing if I am stubbornly refusing to die, right? Besides now Trisha and Leal are back to watch out for me and you made me promise to let them tell me when I was being stupid."

"Yeah, but if I'm not here, what's gonna keep you from firing them the next time you get mad?" she countered.

"I guess we'll have to stick around to make sure that doesn't happen," said Bryson giving his son a stern look.

"Honestly, Samantha, I learned my lesson. I love them like family and I'll never take them for granted again. I promise."

"I think you should finish out the year. It's less than five months until the end of your school year. It'll go by fast and you can always come home for spring break," said Daffyd.

"I don't want to talk about this, Daffyd. I am not leaving," she stated firmly.

"Why don't you just promise to pray about it?" asked Daffyd.

"I have prayed about it. I'm believing that God will send someone to take my place," Samantha answered.

"I think what my son is trying to say, honey, is that he wants you to pray for God's will in the situation. Sometimes when we are between a rock and a hard place we tend to let our feelings lead, instead of God's Spirit," said Lucille gently.

"Ok, I promise to pray. But when I hear from God, then this is settled," she demanded.

The next day Samantha spent some time in her room praying. She called out to God from her fear of losing Daffyd. She prayed earnestly for God to heal the man she loved and to give her discernment for the decisions she needed to make. Lord, I can never go back to my old life again. I have changed so much in the past few months. I am not the same person that I was when I lost Richard. I've been able to have a taste of the life that you always wanted for me. I would have chosen a little less drama, but I now know what love really is. And, Lord, I now know what a real family is supposed to be like. I need these people.

Samantha gazed out over the snow covered mountains with tears flowing. Superimposed over the view of the mountain, Samantha saw a large cross with her Savior hanging in agony. It lasted only a second, but Samantha sank to her knees and wept. I see now Father, sometimes we have to let go. It would be so much easier, Lord, if I knew that he was surrendered to you before I go, not my will but yours, Father. She dried her eyes and washed her face and went to find Daffyd.

Daffyd was in his room resting when Samantha walked in. He was reading the last book in the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy.

"How's Frodo?" she asked.

"Sad and tired, totally unaware of how brave he is," answered Daffyd patting the spot next to him on the bed.

"Sounds like me, only without the brave part," she smiled as she sat next to him, leaning against the headboard. "I wanted to talk to you about staying..."

"Let me go first." He interrupted her. "I have been thinking about this for some time and I didn't want to say this all in front of everyone. So if you would just let me say it all, with no interruptions."

"Ok, you first," she allowed.

"I feel like I wouldn't be able to handle it if you leave...but I know that's probably the best thing for me. I know that sounds crazy, but I feel like as long as you are here that things are just too easy for me. It is so easy to just let you make all the hard decisions and to do the praying and believing for me. It's a crutch for me, a way out of ever making a solid commitment. It's so easy for me to believe when you are here and so strong in your faith. But I need to know that it's all me. That I am making this decision, to allow God back into my life, because it's what I believe. When I was little I believed because my parents did. I have never had any personal belief of my own. It's not like I want you to leave. It tears me apart. But I think I may need you to leave so that I can be a man and do this on my own. Can you understand that at all?"

"Oh, Daffyd. I hate to think of leaving you...especially since it's only been such a short time. But I do agree with you. Well...at least I think it is God's will. I did what you asked and prayed about it...and I guess that it's all part of His plan for us," she replied. They hugged and both of them cried.

"So I guess that means I need to book a flight and pack," she said as she stood. "Can Seanna stay here until the end of her break? She won't stop telling me how great it is for us all to be here."

"You know she is welcome as long as she wants. You should ask her though; you know she loves you more than most girls love their mothers."

"Yeah, I guess I am blessed."

Seanna decided to go back to Wisconsin with her mom. Neither one called it "going home" as they felt like home was the place they were leaving. Lucille and Bryson decided to stay at least until Bryce had to go back to school, but Daffyd was just as insistent that they needed to allow him to work through his spiritual condition on his own. It was a sad day for them all when they had to say their goodbyes. Leal and Bryce were driving the girls to the airport, so Samantha and Daffyd said goodbye in his room.

"So you promise you will be nice to Trisha and Leal," she teased.

"I promise," he said sadly.

"If you've changed your mind I can just call the school," she offered.

"No, we are doing the right thing. It just is very hard," he said pulling her close.

She stood with her head tucked under his chin while he kissed the top of her head.

"See you in the spring?" she asked.

"And a phone call every night, right?"

"I was thinking about that too, if you are going to try to do this alone, maybe we shouldn't do the every night call."

"See what I mean, you had to point that out to me. I should have said that, but I was weak. So, yeah, as hard as it will be, then not every night. How about Sunday evenings and we limit the call to one hour?" he suggested.

"You're the boss," she smiled up at him.

"Well, we better get you downstairs so you can tell everyone else goodbye," he said without moving a muscle.

"We should," she said burying her head in his chest again.

Daffyd cradled her there for a little while, then pulled back and looked into her eyes. "We can do this."

She rose up and kissed him, full on the mouth, thinking of all the time they would be separated. Somehow a kiss on the forehead just didn't seem enough this time. Finally they pulled apart and walked down the stairs for the last time, hand in hand.

# **Chapter 26**

# The Cure?

By the end of February Samantha had gotten back into the routine of her classroom. She had more patience with her students and even enjoyed being at school. She looked forward to the weekly calls from Daffyd and the weekly updates from Trisha. The two of them decided to keep those calls between the two of them, but Samantha had peace of mind hearing from Trisha every week. Those weren't the only calls she got. Seanna called at least every other day and she heard from Lucille occasionally. Bryce even called once to chat.

She had joined a ladies Bible study on Tuesday evenings and was taking a writing class on Monday and Thursday nights. Her life was busy and comfortable and most of the time she didn't get a chance to feel lonely. On her bad days she went to God and cried on his shoulder, or asked him for strength and her relationship with Him grew stronger. Daffyd seemed to be still struggling with his surrender to God, but was improving in health. He chalked it up to having something to look forward to and had already purchased Samantha's ticket to come in the spring.

That's why she was surprised to get a call from Trisha one March night at shortly after two in the morning. Daffyd had had a relapse and was in the hospital. Samantha was ready to hop on the next plane but Trisha got her calmed down enough to listen. Daffyd's parents were on their way to come and get Daffyd and fly with him to a cancer treatment center in Mexico. It was run by Christians who treated with natural remedies and prayer. They had heard about it from some friends of theirs in the mission field.

"Where is the closest airport, I'll get a ticket right away?" asked Samantha in a panic.

"Well, the thing is...they will only allow one family member to stay. Lucille will be staying and Bryson will be coming back," answered Trisha.

"Oh, Trisha, how am I supposed to stay here knowing he may be dying again," she lamented.

"The same way that you have been, in God's strength, Samantha. You wouldn't be able to pray any better in Montana or Mexico than you can right now. You need to put your faith in Him. He loves Daffyd and is able to take care of him," encouraged Trisha.

"You're right, as usual, but it's so hard," she cried.

"Let's pray and I promise to keep you posted. Lucille also said she will call you as soon as they get settled in Mexico."

"Can you pray, Trisha ..."

"Father, we thank you that you love us and that you care about us. Thank you for safety while Daffyd and his parents are traveling. Thank you for healing him body and soul. Thank you, Lord, that Daffyd will surrender his heart to you. And we thank you, Father, for giving us a peace that passes all understanding. In Jesus precious name, Amen"

"Amen. Thanks, Trisha," said Samantha tearfully. "Call me as soon as you know anything."

"Lucille promised to call and let you know when they get there. Just hang in there. And Samantha, they did say that if they thought Daffyd wasn't improving, then they call the family so that they can come to be with their loved one in the end."

"I'll keep my cell phone charged and on me at all times then," she replied tearfully.

As soon as Samantha hung up she called a few ladies from her Bible study and asked them to call a few more to pray for Daffyd. She prayed until she finally fell asleep exhausted by the strain. She woke the next morning with a headache from crying so much the night before. She called in to work and asked them to give her the day off. About a half hour later, her pastor showed up at her door.

"Mrs. Hoffman told me what is going on with Daffyd, Samantha. I didn't want you to just stay home and fret and worry. Do you feel like taking a walk with me?" he asked.

"Sure Pastor, just let me grab a jacket and my cell phone," she replied.

They walked together in silence for a few blocks. The weather still had a Wisconsin chill. Their spring hadn't quite arrived yet. The snow had melted, but the warm weather hadn't begun. Spring was always a hard time for Samantha. At least the few weeks between the thaw and the budding of the trees, everything just looked sad and forlorn.

"So tell me what you are thinking, Samantha."

"I was thinking how much cheerier it would be when the leaves begin to bud and the grass greens up," she answered.

"Spring is my favorite season. After a long cold winter, it's always a welcome sight to see the new growth," said Pastor Shane. "It's a reminder that no matter how barren and cold things may seem, there is always a new beginning. We may not see the growth that happens during the winter, but under the ground the roots are going deeper and getting stronger."

"Are you trying to tell me that something good is going to come out of all of this?" she asked with a sad smile.

"You got me figured out," he said with a chuckle. "I know that doesn't make any of this easier."

"It's just so unfair. You know how things were between me and Richard, and I've told you about how I grew up. It has taken all these years and all of these struggles to get to the place where I have a family. I finally get to experience true love and that may all come to an end," she cried.

Pastor Shane handed her a Kleenex and gave her a minute.

"I can't pretend to have all the answers. But I do know that God loves us and he wants what's best for all of us."

Samantha laughed, shaking her head. When Pastor Shane gave her a concerned look, she shook her head and waved her hands.

"That's exactly what I told Daffyd when he was struggling. I guess I get to take some of my own medicine," she laughed.

"Did it help him?" he asked.

"I think it did..."

"I am asking you to trust God. Go on with your life, teach your classes, and go to college, all of your normal activities. If you feel overwhelmed, just call a me, or a friend. Better yet, talk to God. Just don't allow yourself to feel defeated. You need to be strong no matter what happens. His grace, His strength is sufficient. Suffering is a part of life. God never promised to keep us from it. He did promise to give us the strength to come thru it. You'll come out on the other side with deeper roots and with more faith, just like these trees."

"Thank you, Pastor. My head is feeling better from all this fresh air and my heart is feeling better from our talk. I'll be at work tomorrow. I think I'll spend the rest of the afternoon making a few phone calls and in prayer."

During Samantha's second period her cell phone rang. She had already explained to her students that she was expecting an important call so that she could take it in the hallway right outside of class. It was Lucille.

"Samantha, I just wanted to let you know that we are in Mexico. We got in late last night and it took us a while to get to the Treatment Facility. Daffyd is all settled in now and the place is wonderful," she said.

"How is he doing?" she asked.

"He seems to have stabilized. I have to admit, I thought we were going to lose him. He passed out and went into convulsions. We didn't even bother to call an ambulance. Leal drove us all to the hospital faster than we could have ever made it waiting on them to come out. He had a high fever that took them a while to get under control. They weren't going to let him leave, but we insisted. Trisha ended up getting a hold of Kate Mallory and asked her to accompany us, that allowed us to get Daffyd out of there and on our way. She is a wonderful woman," explained Daffyd's mom.

"Do you get to stay right there with him?" she asked.

"They let me stay right in his room as long as I don't interfere with any of his treatment. I don't see that happening. They are great here. Everyone is saved; they don't use traditional medicine at all. Everything is all natural and they pray over Daffyd every time they come into his room. When I left his room he was sleeping peacefully. He isn't very lucid right now but he is comfortable," Lucille answered.

"They really won't let anyone else visit?" Samantha asked hopefully.

"Sorry, Honey. Bryson and Kate got a couple of motels rooms nearby and are flying home this afternoon. They can't even come back to say goodbye. They are trying to keep their patients as calm as possible without too much excitement. Samantha...how are you doing?"

"I'm doing better than I had thought possible. I have friends praying for us and I am trying to stay busy, on some good advice from my Pastor."

"Good girl! Stand in faith in His Word."

"I will sure try my best. Call me anytime day or night to keep me informed and tell Daffyd I love him," said Samantha.

"I will go one step farther and give him a hug and a kiss from you!"

# **Chapter 27**

# Healing

Spring came with a burst of color and warm weather. Samantha found herself at The Mountain Home for Spring Break with the whole family...except Daffyd and Bryson. Daffyd was still fighting his battle in Mexico and Bryson had flown down to give Lucille a break. Instead of going to her home, she came to spend time with them all. Bryce had arrived the week before Seanna and Samantha, getting an early start on his Spring break. Seanna had arrived the day after her mom. The Montana weather was much warmer than Wisconsin and the kids were in the pool. The rest of them were on the patio soaking up the warmth and chatting when Samantha's cell phone rang.

"Everybody! It's Daffyd!" she yelled before she answered. "Hello...Daffyd," she said excitedly.

"Samantha can you hear me?" Daffyd asked.

"Yes, I can hear you!"

"Are you close to everyone?" he asked.

"They are all right here, Daffyd. We are out on the patio."

"Can you put me on speakerphone?" he asked.

"Ok, Daffyd. We can all hear you now. The kids are out of the pool and are here with your Mom and Trisha and Leal."

"Dad is here with me and I have you all on speaker phone too," said Daffyd.

"Hi Bryson...Hi Honey...Hi Grandpa," said several voices at once.

"Hi everyone!" yelled Bryson in the background.

"I have something pretty important to tell you," said Daffyd.

Everyone in Montana looked at one another with varying degrees of hope and excitement. Oh, Lord, please let this be good news...let him be cancer free, thought Samantha.

"Last night at ten thirty I asked Jesus to come into my heart."

"Oh, Son. I am so proud of you!" said Lucille.

"That's great Uncle Daffyd," said Bryce.

"It's about time," said Trisha.

"I have met so many people here with such great faith. I know all of you have plenty to spare, but these people are in the same boat as me and some of them a lot worse off than me, but they still trusted God. Then this sweet young girl passed away yesterday with all of her family around her. I just couldn't believe how calm and loving they all were. No one was panicked or afraid. It was so peaceful and...I just can't explain it, but I knew right then that I was ready to just give up and let God in."

"How are you feeling Daffyd," asked Samantha trying not to sound disappointed.

"I feel wonderful! I have never felt so un-anxious and un-worried in my life!"

"No...I mean physically," she clarified.

"Oh...quite a lot better, but I'm not scared anymore. I'm not afraid to die," he answered.

"Good for you, Daffyd," said Samantha as she got up and went in the house.

"Mom!" yelled Seanna with a frown.

"Let her go, Sea. She's just scared...give her some time," said Bryce.

"What's going on?" asked Daffyd.

"Mom's having a meltdown again," said Seanna, totally disgusted.

"I thought she'd be happy..." said Daffyd confused.

"Daffyd, this has been really hard on Samantha. Being away from you for so long and worried about your health. She has been doing pretty well, but I think she was hoping that your good news was more about the physical than the spiritual. I'll talk to her later after she calms down a little," said Lucille.

"Well, the rest of us are thrilled. We are really a family now, Daffyd!" said Seanna.

"Yep...Brother Daffyd," laughed Leal.

"I hope to see you all soon. Keep me in your prayers. We are starting a new phase in the treatment tomorrow," he asked.

"We will," they agreed.

"Well I better go, thanks for seeing after Samantha, Mom. And Seanna cut your mom some slack, girl."

"Ok, Daffyd," she agreed.

"Promise?"

"Promise!"

Lucille found Samantha lying in bed with a pile of tissue on the pillow beside her. The room was dark and she could hear the quiet crying from the door. "Honey, it's Lucille...can I come in?"

"Ok..."

Lucille sat on the bed next to Samantha and patted her on the shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"I feel awful. The most important thing that can possibly happen in a person's life has happened for Daffyd and I can't even be happy about it!" she choked out.

"Why is that, do you think?" asked Lucille gently.

"It wasn't what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear him say that he was healed, that he was cancer free and coming home," she sobbed.

"Honey, that's something we all want to hear. But as his Mom, I am so happy and relieved that Daffyd is saved. I am convinced that Daffyd will be healed...whether here or in heaven. But had he not gotten saved then I wouldn't be confident of his healing. He could have, like so many others, died and spent eternity separated from God."

"Oh, Lucille, I feel so selfish. I want Daffyd healed for me, so I can be happy and feel fulfilled. I prayed more for Daffyd's healing than I did for his salvation. What kind of a human being does that make me?"

"Just that, human," Lucille answered her.

Samantha sat up in bed and blew her nose loudly. Lucille got up and grabbed the small garbage can and brought it back to Samantha. After Samantha had picked up all the evidence of her childish pity party, she looked up at Lucille with a lopsided grin.

"I guess Daffyd is pretty disappointed in me," she stated.

"I think he'll get over it. Besides, when you first get born again, it takes a lot to bring you down. I'm thinking he'll be flying high for a while. And I want you to think about how much stronger his faith will be now when he confesses his healing," stated Lucille with her eyebrows up.

"You're right. He really believed that God could and would heal others, now he should be able to believe that God will heal him," said Samantha. "What else did he say after I ran away?"

"He asked us to pray for him. They are starting some new treatments tomorrow."

"Sounds like perfect timing."

"Sounds like God's timing!" said Daffyd's mom. "Now, go wash your face and maybe change your shirt. You've managed to just about soak that one and let's go see what Trisha has whipped up for dinner.

"No matter what she made, I think I will be eating some 'humble pie'," said Samantha.

Samantha apologized to everyone around the dinner table without making any excuses for her behavior. Leal mentioned how hard it had all been on everyone and told Samantha that that was what family was all about.

"We get to be real around each other without worrying if they are going to stop loving us. My grandma always said 'Home is where you can act the worst and still be loved the most.'" said Leal.

"I'd sure like to meet that lady some day," laughed Bryce.

"I think by now we can safely say that the 'rose colored glasses' are off," said Trisha. "We've gotten a chance to see the good and bad of each other."

"Nope, not yet. You haven't seen the really bad me," said Seanna shaking her head.

"Oh, really?" asked Bryce.

"She's right, it takes a lot to get Seanna riled up, but when she does, watch out!" warned Samantha.

"So what 'riles' you up?" asked Bryce.

"One time she punched a boy in the mouth for saying something about her best friend," said Samantha.

"He called her a heifer," said Seanna with a shrug.

"So you get mad when people get picked on?" asked Leal.

"Only if they can't defend themselves, some people can handle it, Sara couldn't. She was a little chubby but she was also the sweetest person I knew and didn't deserve to be treated mean by those boys."

"Remind me to never get you mad," laughed Bryce, "I kind of like my smile the way it is."

"Don't worry about your teeth, I'd have to stand on a chair to reach your mouth. I'd worry about your ribs," said Seanna.

"Point taken. So what else don't we know about each other. Anything else we should be warned about?" asked Samantha.

"I'm afraid of mice and rats, well, I guess rodents in general," shared Trisha.

"I hate watching the news," said Lucille.

"I tend to feel sorry for myself," said Samantha.

"I sometimes get up in the middle of the night to sneak cheese and crackers," offered Bryce.

"That explains a lot..." said Trisha.

"What about you, Leal. Anything we need to know?" asked Bryce.

"Cabbage makes me pass gas," he volunteered.

"Honey, you're supposed to tell us something we don't already know," said Trisha as they all laughed.

"I don't give up very easily. I know that can be a good thing, but sometimes we need to be able to know when we've done enough," said Leal.

"That's what you have me for," said Trisha.

"And that is exactly my point about families. God puts us all together because we need each other," explained Leal.

"Well, I for one am happy to have a family, even if we are a little nutty!" said Seanna.

# **Chapter 28**

# Metamorphosis

Samantha was finishing up her school year in Wisconsin while Daffyd continued to grow better physically and spiritually in Mexico. Lucille and Bryson were both at home since Daffyd seemed to be doing well and the clinic suggested they allow their son some time alone with God. Part of their healing process was working through things with the Lord one on one. Daffyd was getting to know God in a way that he never experienced before and was becoming a new man. His body was not yet cancer free but Samantha still had faith that the call would come.

She was on her way to visit Pastor Shane's office after school to talk to him about the next school year. With much prayer and some council from her "family" she had decided not to teach the next year. Daffyd had invited her to move to Montana and stay at Mountain Home until his return. Though they hadn't discussed any long term plans, they frequently talked about the next few months. With summer fast approaching and summer break for the two college kids right around the corner, they were all making plans to be together. They didn't know when Daffyd would be joining them, but they wanted to all be together when he did.

Samantha was a little nervous about sharing her plans with her pastor, not sure if he would see things the same way that she did, but knowing in her heart she was making the right decision. She said a quick prayer before she knocked on the door.

"Well, Samantha, why don't you have a seat and tell me what brings you to see me today," he said gesturing to a chair.

"Thanks, Pastor. I guess I'm here for a couple of reasons. First of all, I wanted to let you know that Daffyd has invited us to come and stay at his home in Montana for the summer."

"Oh, is Daffyd coming home soon then?" he asked.

"We are hoping," said Samantha with a smile. "But we all want to be there when he does get to come home. Seanna and Daffyd's nephew, Bryce, have become very close. He's like the big brother she always wished she'd had. Bryce is also an only child, so he likes having a little sister as well."

"That sounds like a good plan for the summer. You enjoy it out there don't you?"

"I do. It isn't just the mountains and the peacefulness at Mountain Home, but Seanna and I have become a part of a family there. I know I have told you about Daffyd's two employees that have adopted him. Between them and the two college kids...well, it feels like home," she tried to explain.

"We aren't always born into a family. There are plenty of people who live in the same household, and share the same blood, who live completely separate lives. Then there are people that God brings together, and binds them in love, and they become a family. It sounds like that is what you are experiencing. Have you thought about what you will be doing once the summer is over, Samantha?" he asked.

"Well, that brings me to the second reason I'm here. Daffyd and I haven't discussed any long range plans right now. I guess we both wanted to wait and see how this all plays out. But I don't intend to come back here. As you know, Seanna and I don't have any family here, other than our church family of course. And to be completely honest, if it wasn't for God's strength and grace I would have left the classroom years ago. I really want to write. That has been something on my heart since I was a child. Life just got away with me and it got put on hold. But now Seanna is grown up...and I don't have any more excuses not to try."

"Sometimes God has us do something for a season. I think your season here with us is coming to an end. You are not the same person that you were when you and Richard first joined us. I think that everything you've been through has made you stronger," said Pastor Shane.

"Sometimes it feels that way, other times it scares the daylights out of me! So you don't think I'm crazy?" she asked.

"No," he laughed. "I would be concerned about your moving to Montana without being married if it was just you and Daffyd. But I trust you to live right until that day comes. And I expect an invitation to the big day when it happens."

"Just keep believing with us for a complete healing for Daffyd," she asked.

"Samantha, I fully believe God will heal Daffyd..." he began.

"But...I know what you are going to say, Pastor. We have talked about this a lot, Daffyd and I. We believe his healing can come two ways. Here on earth, or in heaven. We are content with either, but so hoping that we can live a long and happy life here together."

"Well, I wish you the best. If there is anything we can do to help you make the transition, just let us know. I think it's best if you don't mention this to your students until the end of the year. Even though a few of them will be advancing to the next class, most will be sad to know that you are leaving."

"Thanks for making this easy. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I plan on enjoying the last few months of school and will be able to look forward to a new start without feeling like I didn't finish up well."

Daffyd closed his Bible and knelt down next to his bed. Father, I thank you for finding me, for having the patience to wait for me, and for loving me despite my stubborn selfishness. Help me Lord, to put others first and to not think about my happiness first. I ask you to show me how to live for you instead of for myself. I am ready now to come home to you if that is what you want, but if not, if there is something else you have for me to do here, then I ask that I can live long enough to marry the woman I love. Let me be the man she deserves. Help me to be a true 'new creation'. And please help me to do what you want me to do, no matter how hard it might be.

Though Daffyd missed Samantha more than he had ever thought possible and though he missed them all, his Mom and Dad, Bryce and Seanna, and even Trisha and Leal, he was content to wait on God. He felt stronger every day, not just physically, but also spiritually. He wanted to grow as much as he could while he was here so that he could go home a new man. Through much soul searching, he came to realize that most of his weakness had nothing to do with a disease. His flesh was weak, not his physical flesh alone, but his heart and mind. The only answer to the problem was to feed his spirit by filling up on scripture and to practice listening to His voice.

The stronger he became in his spirit, the more he came to know God, the stronger he felt and it was reflecting in his health. He was learning so much through his independent study as well as the group Bible study he attended twice a week. Sunday service was mostly praise and worship, which he loved, with some simple preaching by several local pastors. For the first time in his life, he felt like he really knew God, not just knew of him. What a difference that made.

"Daffyd," said a tall young man at his open door.

"Max, come in. I was just finished praying," invited Daffyd.

Max came in and sat in the only chair in the simple room. He was one of the young helpers that volunteered at the clinic. Daffyd had become friends with the earnest young man over the past few months.

"I wanted to talk to you about something...I guess I need some advice. Your brother and sister-in-law were missionaries right?" he asked.

"Yeah, they were."

"I have been invited to go on a mission trip for three months. I am just not sure if I'm strong enough, spiritually, to go."

"How strong do you have to be to go?" asked Daffyd.

"Stronger than me, I'm thinking," the young man said with a smile.

"Max, I know I'm pretty new at this, but you have been here for over a year fighting all kinds of demonic stuff. You've been strong for us when we couldn't be strong; you helped us to lean on God and to put our trust in Him. I'm thinking this is a mission field! What difference does it make if you change location?"

"Yeah, you're probably right. I guess I just feel comfortable here," he explained.

"Do you feel like it is something God wants you to do?" asked Daffyd.

"I do. I just guess I was scared to think about going. I kept trying to think up some excuse. I talked to them here and they will allow me to come back and continue my work here. The money to go is even already paid for...so I guess I'm out of excuses," he said with a smile.

"My brother loved it. They died doing what they loved and doing what God asked them to do. The things that they gave up to go didn't seem important compared to those they helped and the ones that came to the Lord through their work."

"Did you ever think about going?" asked Max.

"No! I was much too selfish and wrapped up in my own plans to even think about it. At the time I thought they were both crazy. And after they died, I was just mad at them for leaving their son behind," answered Daffyd. "Now I'm proud of them for doing what God called them to do, and for the sacrifices they made. Their unselfish lives touched so many people."

"Well, now that you're a changed man, and have renounced your selfish ways, maybe you want to come with me."

"No way. Not my calling. I'll just pray for those of you who are sent out and be content to touch the few people I can," laughed Daffyd.

"Thanks, knowing you'll be praying makes it so much easier," Max answered sarcastically.

# **Chapter 29**

# We Know What We Are, But Not What We May Be

June fifteenth found Samantha on her way to Montana with Bryce and Seanna in Leal's truck. After months of planning and packing she was finally closing a chapter in her life. Over the past few months she had sorted and sold, donated and trashed the few belongings she had left. Most of the boxes in the back were filled with her books and some of Seanna's keepsakes from her childhood. Bryce had driven over to help them load up and to bring them back home. The two kids had been joking and ribbing each other since Bryce showed up. Samantha couldn't help wishing that Daffyd would be there to meet them all.

"So what do you think, Mom?" asked Seanna.

"About what?" she asked back.

"Have you been listening to a word I said?" asked her daughter.

"Honey, I've quit listening to the two of you a couple of miles back," she laughed.

"We were talking about taking a trip while we are waiting for Daffyd to come home. What do you think about going to visit Leal's grandma in Oregon? She only lives a couple of hours from the beach and we could maybe book a place on the beach for a few weeks."

"This has been such a crazy year with Uncle Daffyd and school, it would be great to just be lazy at the beach for a while," offered Bryce.

"Do you think Trisha would leave her garden for two weeks?" asked Samantha.

"Maybe we could get someone to come and take care of the place while we're gone," suggested Bryce.

"It would have to be someone Daffyd trusts, right now that isn't too many people. He still doesn't want anyone to know that he is "Savage"," said Samantha.

"He trusts Kate!" said Seanna.

"You're right and I bet she'd like to come and bring a few of her grandkids to hang out in the pool," said Bryce.

"I feel guilty taking a trip without Daffyd," said Samantha.

"Uncle Daffyd made me promise that I wouldn't allow you to sit around and mope all summer waiting for him to come home," said Bryce.

"I don't mope!" Samantha exclaimed.

"...um...whatever," laughed Seanna.

"Anyway, I made a promise to him to keep you girls entertained and busy. He has more money than he knows what to do with and gives more away than he spends...so no excuses!" Bryce insisted.

"I'm gonna call Trisha right now, she can get everything rolling while we are on our way," said Seanna.

By the time they got home Trisha had it all arranged. They were going to fly into Bend and rent a car to drive to Leal's Grandma Sally's house. She insisted she had enough room for them to stay a few days with her before they all set out to the coast. Trisha had a whole itinerary set up along the coast for sightseeing and lollygagging. Then she had rented a house on the beach for two weeks farther south where the weather would be warmer. Kate had agreed to come and stay at the house for a couple of nights a week with some helpers to tend the garden, mow the yard and play in the pool. Everything was all set for the first week in July. They would be celebrating the holiday with Grandma Sally with a big backyard barbeque with friends and neighbors. Samantha could hardly believe that it had only been a year since they celebrated here at Mountain Home.

"Wow, Trisha, you missed your calling. I think you should have been a travel agent," said Seanna.

"I used to schedule quite a few get-a-ways for Daffyd when his life would get too crazy, so it's kind of old hat. Besides who would take care of the bunch of you if I was working in an agency somewhere?" she teased.

"She's absolutely right! We are blessed to have you!" said Bryce giving her a big hug.

"Ok, ok, you can just make it up to me by hiking the trails with us when we get there," laughed Trisha.

"I, for one, will be lying on the beach with some cold lemonade and a good book. I will designate myself as company for Leal's grandma," volunteered Samantha.

"Good to hear that. Grandma is seventy-something and she still gets around like a much younger woman. She won't be doing any hiking, but she loves to walk on the beach and through all the little tourist shops in town," said Leal.

"Sounds great. I guess I like my adventures to be a little tamer," smiled Samantha.

"Mom, you are going to at least go with us once. You're only thirty-five. You need to stop acting like an old woman," insisted Seanna.

"I'm not acting. This is who I have always been Seanna. I will go on a short hike with you, but you know that I intend to start writing and I plan on spending some time doing just that while you are all doing what you love to do."

"Don't be too hard on your Mom, Sea. You and Uncle Daffyd will get along fine. He's not very adventurous either. He's more a movie and book kind of guy," said Bryce.

"How is it that he's a rock star? He is so not the typical stereotype," said Seanna.

"I think the word should be 'was', it's been years since he recorded anything," Trisha reminded them.

"That may be, but you can still buy his cd's and his music is played on movies and commercials all the time. He still has quite the following on UTube," Bryce commented.

"Still, I think we can all agree that he isn't what his fans would expect," said Seanna.

"Daffyd's been talking about that lately. It has begun to bother him that the world thinks he is someone he is not. He's been praying about how to change that," said Samantha.

"Being honest is a great way to start," said Bryce.

"That's true, Bryce, but think about how most of them will take the news that the person they worship is a fake," Leal countered.

"That's the problem. He wants to do this in a way that might help them, not just get them so mad that they won't listen to what he has to say. This is going to take some wisdom," Samantha explained.

"I guess I never really thought about it that way. If he just loses all of his fans, he won't be able to influence them at all," conceded Bryce.

"And if he does it in a way that keeps at least some of his fans, he may be able to influence them in a good way," mused Seanna.

"That's our hope," said Samantha.

"That's what we all should be doing. Maybe we don't have as many people that we can influence, but Bryce and I have other students and we have the town's people here. I'm gonna try to be more open about my faith this next school year," vowed Seanna. "Just wearing my cross necklace and my 'expect a miracle' bracelet isn't enough."

"Oh, that reminds me!" said Trisha jumping up from the table and grabbing a box off of the counter and handing it to Samantha. "Daffyd had this made for you, I just picked it up yesterday."

"Well, open it, Mom," suggested Seanna.

Samantha opened the box and there nestled in some dark blue velvet was a thin gold bracelet with some familiar markings on it.

"Is this Hebrew?" she asked.

"The outside is, but the translation is written on the inside," said Trisha.

Samantha looked at the fine script written on the inside. My Beloved Is Mine, And I Am His.

"It's beautiful," she said with tears in her eyes.

"Get it...Beloved!" said Bryce with a big grin.

"That's right! That's what Daffyd's name means! It's from the Song of Solomon in the Bible. That's one of my favorite books. Isn't that romantic," Seanna stated.

"If you will excuse me, I think I'm going to go and lay down for a while," said Samantha quietly. "Make sure you wake me up if Daffyd calls on any of your phones."

"I'm pretty sure he'll try yours first, now that we are all together," said Leal.

Samantha had slept for less than twenty minutes when her cell phone rang. Sure enough, she could see that it was Daffyd. "Daffyd," she answered sleepily.

"Were you sleeping?" he asked.

"Just taking a cat nap," she replied.

"Did you get my gift?"

"I am wearing it as we speak," she answered. "It's beautiful, Daffyd. It means a lot to me."

"I knew it would be hard for you to get there and have me be so far away, so I wanted you to have something to remind you how much I love you."

"When do you think you will be coming home?" she asked wistfully.

"Well...actually I got some good news today," he never got a chance to finish.

"Daffyd! Is it gone?" she asked hopefully.

"I am officially cancer free."

"So you can come home soon?"

"Well, they want to wait a few weeks and will do some blood work before they say I am good to go."

"Thank you Jesus!" exclaimed Samantha. "Do you want to tell the others? I can go downstairs and put you on speaker phone."

"Not yet. Samantha, I called you first because there is something else I wanted to talk to you about..."

"Ok..."

"You know how we have been talking about how I want to do something to help change the way people think of me?" he asked.

"Sure, in fact we were just discussing that earlier today," she replied.

"Well, I have been praying about it...and I think that I know where I am supposed to start,"

"Daffyd, I'm listening..."

"I want to go on a mission trip," he stated.

"I think that is a good idea. You could probably get hooked up with someone that Pastor Bill or Pastor Shane knows."

"Actually, I already am hooked up with someone from here. You remember me talking about Max? Well...he's going to South America."

"When is he going?" she asked.

"Well...that's the thing. He is leaving in three weeks."

"Good for him. He can check it all out and later you can take a trip knowing you have someone who's already been there," said Samantha.

"Samantha, I'm going to go with him now..." he heard her choking on the other end. "Please just hear me out. I know this is something God wants me to do. I have a peace in my heart and the timing is perfect."

"Daffyd, are you crazy! You are just getting over a major disease! What if it comes back?"

"It's not coming back," Daffyd answered calmly.

"Do you even have any idea how hard this has all been for me? And now when we can finally be together you are talking about leaving the country!" she sobbed into the phone.

"Samantha...please. You know I love you, and this has been hard on every one. You think I don't know that! But for the first time in my life I am putting God first. I want to come home to you, that's all that kept me going before I gave my heart to Christ. But now I can't just think about myself..."

"Then think about me," she interrupted.

"I am thinking of you. I'm thinking about a great future with you as my wife, living to a ripe old age with our grandchildren running around us. I want Bryce's and Seanna's children to have a godly grandfather, even if I won't be blood related. More importantly, I want to be the man that you deserve. I have nothing in my life to be proud of and I want to be able to do this one thing before we start our life together. Can you understand?" he pleaded.

"Oh, Daffyd...I just don't know if I can do this..."

"Of course you can! You're one of the strongest people I know, and believe me, I know a few!"

"You're surrounded by strong people," she couldn't help chuckling.

"Well, now it is my turn to be strong! No more letting everyone else fight my battles for me. That's what I have learned here. I have to stand in my own faith with God's strength. Honestly, it scares the crap out of me to think about going where Gareth and Rebecca were killed. But I know that I will come home safely to you. I am confident in that!"

"How long will you be gone?" she asked, knowing he had made up his mind.

"They plan on being gone for a little less than a month. So I would be home by the first week in August. Trisha tells me you all won't be back until the third week in July, so it will all go by so fast you won't even find time to miss me."

"That's so not true, Daffyd," she replied grouchily.

"Ok, but still, it'll all be over before you know it and we will be together again. Can I have your support on this? Because I'm pretty sure you're not the only one who is going to freak out."

"Yes...you have my support on one condition."

"What's that?" asked Daffyd.

"You have to promise me that once you get home, we'll never be separated for more than twenty-four hours again!"

"A whole twenty-four hours!" he teased.

"Well, maybe not that long..."she laughed.

# Chapter 30

# Out of the Frying Pan

Samantha loved the ocean. All those years in Wisconsin, miles away from the ocean, never knowing this feeling of something so vast and powerful, yet so beautiful, I wish Daffyd was here with me. They had settled into the rental house on the coast of Oregon and Samantha had to admit that Daffyd was right about the time going by so fast. They had been hiking, shopping, lounging and eating while time quickly sped by. Samantha was grateful for Sally, Leal's grandmother. She was such a blessing. Sally was a tall regal looking African American woman in her seventies. Her simple ways and her genuine love for life were contributing to a time of reflection and anticipation for Samantha.

The two of them were sitting on the front deck of their rental. The rest of the clan were biking some trails along the ocean. Sally was reading her Bible and Samantha was thinking about her future. "Sally, can I ask you something?" asked Samantha.

"Sure you can. Let me just mark my spot," she answered as she tenderly laid a faded ribbon in between the pages.

"Do you think that God gives us the desires of our hearts, or do you think He gives us the desires of our hearts?"

"Are you asking me if God places His desire for us in our hearts or if He simply gives us what we want?" Leal's grandmother questioned.

"Yes, I guess that is what I'm asking."

"Well, in all my years of going to church, I've heard it preached both ways. Personally I think it is a little bit of both. I think we are created with some desires built right into us. Like wanting to love and be loved. Wanting to know we are safe and protected. Then the world puts some desires into us. Desires to maybe have more than we need, or the desire to be famous, or to leave some kind of legacy behind when we pass. When we love Him and get to know who He truly is, what we want can drastically change. We aren't so selfish anymore and we are more willing to let Him deal with our hearts," said Sally.

"I was just thinking about how my whole life I wanted to have that 'true love' that you read about in fairy tales. Do you think that is the love that God wants us to have?" asked Samantha.

"Nothing less, but what most of us don't realize is that type of love only comes from God Himself. Those longings for a love that passes all bounds and drives us with a passionate flame can only come from Love Himself. God is Love."

"But what about the love between a man and a woman?" Samantha asked.

"That is a holy love ordained by God to show us a type and a shadow of Christ's love for His Church. It can be a wonderful thing, but it can never replace the longing that God placed into each one of us for His love. The mistake that most people make is that they expect another human to fill that empty spot in us that only a relationship with God can fill. The happiest marriages are the ones that allow God's love to flow into their marriage to strengthen the love they have for each other," explained Sally.

"So are you saying that if we expect too much out of a relationship with our loved ones, that we will just be disappointed?" Samantha wanted to know.

"That happens every day. But God never intended for that to be our first love. He wants our love for Him to be first, and then the love we have for our spouse and children, family and friends. Whenever we seek to build our relationship with God first, all the other ones get better. What are you thinking?" asked Sally seeing a slight furrow between Samantha's brows.

"I guess I'm wondering if these feelings I have for Daffyd are ok with God," she finally admitted.

"Did you hear what I just said...God is Love. If He is love then don't you think He wants us to love others? You and Daffyd have been brought together in God's love. So if your real question is 'will God give you Daffyd' the desire of your heart, my answer is He already did. You wear the proof on that wrist of yours."

"It just seems like the whole thing with Daffyd has been so hard. We go from one battle to another. Now he is down in the jungles of South America and we are still not together," Samantha said.

"You do believe we have an enemy?" she waited until Samantha nodded her head. "Well now, he's the one who is trying to keep the two of you apart. But he can't separate what God has joined. You just keep praying for your man's safety while he is away. The two of you will be having a wedding soon! Mark my words."

"Thank you Sally. I have been a little worried that we haven't heard from Daffyd since he left."

"He warned you that he wouldn't have cell phone service, right?" reminded Sally.

"He did more than that," she laughed. "He made me promise not to worry even if he couldn't reach us at all the whole time he was down there."

"Then you just lean on God and keep that promise," demanded Sally.

"Yes, Ma'am," laughed Samantha with a mock salute.

Samantha got ten chapters written while they were in Oregon. As much as she hated leaving the beach and saying goodbye to Sally, she was glad to be back home in Montana. Daffyd would be returning to the states soon and they would be able to start their new lives together. First they would need to make it official. Though Daffyd hadn't proposed or anything, Samantha knew that neither of them would be content to continue living and sleeping in separate bedrooms. While they were in Oregon, Trisha and Seanna had dragged her into a formal dress shop to look at the wedding dresses. Seanna had decided that since her mom and dad had gotten married quietly without all of the normal folderol that this wedding needed to be different. Samantha had finally put her off saying she was waiting for a proposal first.

Now she was sitting on the patio under the umbrella and typing those ten chapters into her new laptop, another present from Daffyd. He had purchased it online before he had flown out. I think maybe I'm getting spoiled, she thought. She was actually finding it harder to concentrate now that they were home. It's because I keep thinking of Daffyd. Finally she gave up and did a search for "Savage" online. Skipping the videos, she went right to the photos of Daffyd. In every one she saw a young man, tall and thin, with long blond hair. There were photos calling him one of the top ten most beautiful people and she had to agree. The young man in the pictures was beautiful. But none of them were her Daffyd...

"Mom, can you come here for a minute?" Seanna called through an open window.

Samantha could hear something in Seanna's voice that made her heart start beating faster. She quickly gathered up her notebook and laptop and headed in the house. Leal was holding Trisha who was crying on the couch. Bryce and Seanna were holding hands standing in front of the fireplace. Seanna let go and quickly met her mom, taking the things out of her hands and setting them on the table.

"Mom, come and sit down, there is something we need to tell you," said Seanna as she gently led her mom to the living room.

Oh, God, no...

"Samantha, we just got a call from the people that are sponsoring Daffyd's trip..." said Bryce.

Please, God!

"There has been some kind of an accident..." he continued.

Daffyd!

"We don't know much right now, but they think that they may have been kidnapped," he finished.

"Kidnapped?" she asked confused. "You mean he isn't dead?"

"They aren't sure, but they are hoping that everyone is still alive. Reports have come in that a group of missionaries from the United States have been taken hostage by some guerilla group. They are going to let us know as soon as they get more information."

"I don't understand, how could they have been taken hostage. They were there to help people..." Samantha asked weakly.

"Mom, it doesn't have to make sense. Apparently this thing happens quite frequently, Most of the time they either release the hostages or it turns out it was all just some ploy and they never had them to begin with. We just need to be patient and wait and see what happens," said Seanna calmly beside her.

"Do they want money? We can send some, Daffyd has money..." she asked grasping at straws.

"So far the only demands have been for the release of some drug lord that is being held by their own government," said Bryce.

"So we just...wait?" she asked in shock.

"No," said Trisha pulling away from her husband and wiping the tears angrily from her face. "We don't just wait, we pray!"

After praying together as a family, they each grabbed their phones and started calling prayer warriors. Soon Bryce and Seanna were on their laptops and emailing and social networking as well. When they had run out of contacts, they prayed together again. Within two hours people from their church started arriving. Daffyd's cardinal rule of no outsiders in Mountain Home had for the second time been broken. Soon the house was full of people praying. Trisha found herself in the kitchen coping the best way she knew how, making food for friends and family. By ten o'clock that evening Lucille and Bryson were there as well. They prayed all through the night with no further word of Daffyd's whereabouts.

# **Chapter 31**

# The Promise

A week passed before they got any word on the hostages. A blurry Polaroid came in the mail that clearly showed eight dirty people crowded into a dark hut. They couldn't be sure that Daffyd was one of those people, but they were doing their best to negotiate a release. Soon August was gone and leaves began to change and fall along with Samantha's hope. She continued to pray daily for Daffyd's safety and release. She prayed that his health still remained and that his faith stayed strong. But slowly weariness was creeping in. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" was a scripture that frequently ran through her head.

Bryce and Seanna had returned to school. Trisha and Leal continued in their normal routine. Samantha tried to settle into a life that was so different than what she had planned. With no school year beginning for her for the first time in years, and no Daffyd home, she found herself rambling around the house, sleeping too much and eating too little. By October Trisha and Leal sat her down to talk to her about their concern for her.

"Samantha, you know we love you...that's why we think you need to find something to do outside of the house," said Trisha. "You can't just walk around like a ghost waiting for your phone to ring. You're making yourself sick."

"I know...I just don't know what to do! I can't concentrate long enough to put a whole sentence together and the days seem to get longer and longer. At least when I was in Wisconsin I could stay busy at work."

"Why don't you see if you can volunteer somewhere, or take some pottery classes ...something," suggested Trisha.

"I keep thinking of doing something like that, but I get drained just thinking about it. How will I ever find the energy to actually do anything?"

"You have to find something to keep you busy, Samantha. Why don't you start by doing something here? Daffyd was always talking about getting his videos organized. You know, sorting them by dates, or genres, something that made more sense," said Trisha.

"Or I can teach you how to drive the truck with the snow plow," offered Leal.

"I think I'll start with the videos. Thanks Leal. Tomorrow I'll get up early and see what needs to be done."

"Why tomorrow?" asked Trisha.

"Ok...you're right; I'll go down there right now and start figuring out a plan. Can you help me to get started, Trisha?" she asked.

"Sure thing. I think we should clean as we go, so I'll grab some dust cloths and we can wipe them all down before you put them in order," said Trisha. "And tomorrow you can start asking around about some volunteer work."

By Thanksgiving Samantha had the media room organized and had all of Daffyd's books in alphabetical order. She was also working with the three and four year old Sunday school class at church and helping with the Christmas concert. All contact with the kidnappers had ceased and they had all decided not to jump to any conclusions. Leal reminded them frequently of another of Grandma Sally's sayings. No news is good news. They made plans for Christmas knowing the kids would be on their winter break from college. They even planned to decorate the tree the same way as the year before and planned on making popcorn balls for Daffyd.

Finally, Christmas vacation arrived, most of them had faced their demons and had come to grips with the fact that Daffyd may not be returning. Samantha quietly went on with life, eventually accepting God's peace. She had started writing again and her story had taken a whole new journey. She was writing about true love, the strongest force to be found. Knowing full well that having tasted it, she would never be the same again. Moments of weakness still found her, usually late at night when sleep wouldn't come. The only solution was to find her knees and pour out her heart to her first love. In the morning she would find the strength for another day, and was enjoying her time with her Sunday school class. Her little ones were given the honored place of the last performance during the annual Christmas Eve concert at church. They had been practicing for weeks.

The night of the concert there was a gentle snow falling. Lazy flakes taking their time to make their way to the tree branches and roof tops. The church looked like something out of a Thomas Kinkade painting with the lights shining through the stained glass windows. They had sung along with Silent Night and O Little Town of Bethlehem. They had seen the wise men bring gifts to the baby Jesus lying between Mary and Joseph. And now it was time for Samantha's sweet faced darlings to sing Away in a Manger. Samantha stood in front with all the faces of her class turned towards her, smiling. The bright stage lights making some of them squint and sang the familiar song. As the last note faded a strong voice took it up in the back of the church. It rang true and clear. The voice of an angel drawing the heads to turn to see...

"Ave Maria"

"Daffyd?" whispered Samantha.

"Gratia Plena"

Slowly the Samantha turned and took a tentative step towards the back of the sanctuary. "Daffyd!" she said a little louder her face eagerly searching the form walking toward her out of the shadows.

"Mariea, gatia plena"

As the voice came closer Samantha took a few steps towards the person walking out of the dark. They stood less than six feet apart. Samantha's face lit up in glorious rapture and Daffyd's voice full of love for His Savior and the woman he loved. Samantha stood as if transfixed until the last note echoed off the high ceiling. Then the spell was broken and she ran to embrace the beautiful man standing in the isle.

"You're here...it's really you," she whispered against his chest.

"Of course I'm here. I made you a promise to sing that song for you every Christmas."

# **Epilogue**

Christmas morning they all sat around the tree and opened presents. Lucille and Bryson were there, Trisha and Leal, Bryce and Seanna and Samantha and Daffyd. They had all slept in since they had been up until late at night, as Daffyd had explained what had happened to them in South America. Though they had been taken hostage, they had also escaped with the help of some of the local people whom they had led to the Lord, just a few weeks before. The journey had been long and hard to get to a place of safety. They had hidden out with kind people who fed them and cared for them until the authorities could be found to help them get back to the states. There were stories of bravery and sacrifice that made them all the more grateful to have Daffyd home with them once again.

Now the presents were all opened. Daffyd, once again had no presents to give...except one. He reached into the pocket of his robe and pulled a small black box out. Kneeling in front of Samantha he opened the box and pulled out a beautiful gold band with word 'BELOVED' inscribed on it. She looked into those blue eyes she had come to love. That was the only thing that was still familiar to her. Gone was the young boy of the internet pictures. Gone was the cancer ridden old man. Before her knelt a handsome man in full health. His hair had come in darker and was about chin length. His jaw line was strong, his face gentle and those blue eyes were filled with love.

"Samantha, my love, with God and our whole family here to witness, will you agree to be my wife?"

"Daffyd, with God and family to witness, yes, I will marry you." She pulled him to her and they shared a special kiss. "I guess singing Ava Maria won't be our only Christmas tradition."

"No?" asked Daffyd, smiling at her with eyes full of happiness. "What else will be our tradition?"

"Our Christmas kiss," she said kissing him again.

