[jazz music starts playing]
♪ ♪
[clears throat]
- OH, HONEY,
I AM TIRED.
I AM GOING TO BED.
GOOD NIGHT.
- UH, WELL...
[laughs]
- IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
- WELL, THAT'S, UH--
IT'S--IT'S JUST
THAT I WAS HOPING THAT--
WELL, THAT WE COULD--
AND I-I WANNA MAKE
THIS CLEAR.
I-I-I WANNA
BE STRAIGHTFORWARD.
I WANT TO HAVE A--
- OKAY.
UH, LUTHER?
ARE YOU AVAILABLE
TO TRANSLATE?
- YES, MA'AM.
[clears throat]
- I REALLY WAS HOPING WE COULD
SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER.
- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
WE HAD SEX, WOMAN?
REELECTION NIGHT?
WHAT DOES A BROTHER
NOT NAMED "BILL CLINTON"
HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME [bleep]
IN THIS HOUSE?
- WELL, YOU HAVE BEEN
VERY BUSY LATELY.
- MM-HMM.
MM-HMM.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF I COULD J--CAN
WE GET YOUR TRANSLATOR?
- OH, YES, CERTAINLY.
UH, CATENDRA?
- YEAH, HONEY?
- COULD YOU PLEASE TRANSLATE
"WELL, YOU HAVE BEEN
VERY BUSY LATELY."
- SURE.
- HM.
- MY [bleep] AIN'T
ONE OF YOUR LIMOUSINES
THAT YOU CAN JUMP
IN AND OUT OF
WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE.
I DON'T SEE YOU
ALL DAY,
THEN YOU WANT
A BOOTY CALL?
I NEED AN EMOTIONAL
CONNECTION, [bleep].
- THOUGHT THIS WAS ROMANTIC.
- I'M [bleep]IN'
TRYIN', BITCH!
CAN'T YOU SEE?
I'M PLAYIN'
THE ROMANTIC MUSIC.
I GOT THE PINOT
IN THE GLASSES.
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
FROM ME?
AN ENGRAVED INVITATION
FROM MY NUTS?
- MAYBE WE SHOULD MAKE
A DATE.
- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO,
JUMP OUT OF MY CLOTHES
EVERY TIME
LITTLE BARRY STANDS
AT ATTENTION?
YOU AIN'T MY COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF,
MOTHER-[bleep],
AND MY VAGINA AIN'T SOME CAVE
IN THE MIDDLE EAST
YOU CAN FLY
YOUR HEAT-SEEKING MISSILE INTO
WHENEVER YOU FEEL
LIKE IT.
- WELL, I-I DIDN'T MEAN
TO CALL YOU,
BUT I-I HAD MEETINGS
ALL DAY LONG.
- I'M DEALIN' WITH THESE
MOTHER-[bleep] REPUBLICANS
HEARIN' "NO, NO, NO"
ALL DAY LONG.
THEN I COME HOME,
AND YOU AIN'T GONNA LET ME
GET MY JAM ON
UP IN HERE?
- WELL, YOU KNOW,
I HAVE HAD A BUSY DAY TOO.
- YOU ACT LIKE I AIN'T GOT
NOTHIN' ELSE TO DO, [bleep].
I GOT
THESE OBESE MOTHER-[bleep]
ON MY ASS 24/7.
WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT--
YOU GETTIN' YOUR WICK DIPPED
OR SOME EIGHT-YEAR-OLD FAT-ASS
COLLAPSIN' IN HIS BUNK BED?
- OKAY.
- YOU SEEM TO BE FORGETTIN'
JOB NUMBER ONE.
YOU ARE MY SECRETARY
OF [bleep], BITCH!
GET TO WORK!
- YOU.
[chuckles]
[groaning and moaning]
- LUTHER?
CATENDRA?
- OH, YES, YES, SIR.
- WE'LL--WE'LL TAKE IT
FROM HERE.
- ABSOLUTELY--YES, SIR.
- YES, MA'AM.
- GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.
- [laughs]
[chuckles]
- COME HERE.
- OH, THIS FEELS GOOD.
- UM, MOM?
DAD?
I KNOW YOU ALREADY SAID
THAT I CAN'T GO,
BUT CAN I PLEASE GO
TO THE PARTY TONIGHT?
- MALIA, USE YOUR TRANSLATOR.
- IF YOU DON'T LET ME GO
TO THIS PARTY,
I WILL GET A TATTOO
ON MY FACE.
- HAVE FUN.
- YEAH.
