 
## Praise for The Bridesmaid's Checklist

"While this looks like a story about how to put on a friend's wedding it is also a story about personal growth... Nice HEA with a cliff-hanger ending."

— _Mixed Book Bag_

"Ms. Castle wrote a great contemporary romance (with a hint of spice/kink) that just so happens to have characters that fit the NA age bracket. I adored this book... Kass and Josh are perfect for each other... This is a great start to a series about friends and the post-college years."

— _Harlie's Books_

"I would recommend it to a lover of contemporary romance and it's a great start to a new series."

— _Romance Authors That Rock_

"Bridezillas, ex-boyfriends, and Bora Bora. Oh, my!... A quick read with humor and a sweet romance."

— _Up 'til Dawn Book Blog_

"K.T. Castle weaves an intriguing new adult romance tale that sheds a whole new light on the crazy dynamics of friendships, romance, and wedding planning... The Bridesmaid's Checklist: Laura's Wedding is an enjoyable romance tale that will leave a smile on your face."

— _Jersey Girl Book Reviews_

By K.T. Castle

## Copyright

The Bridesmaid's Checklist

Copyright © 2016 by K.T. Castle

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.

Editing by Kathrin Hutson

Cover design by Victor Alberto Rivera

Photographs: models by Jhankarlo Photography; beach by Bernardino Menabrito

Book design by K.T. Castle Books

First publication July 19, 2016.

This book is a work of fiction. Any names, events, people, incidents, and places are product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual events, places or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

Ebooks are not transferable. All rights are reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced, transmitted, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, without prior written permission of the author. The unauthorised reproduction or distribution of this copyright work is illegal. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded or distributed via the Internet or any other means, electronic or print, without permission.

This book is available in print in most online retailers.

## Thank you for downloading this ebook.

Find out about art, exclusive content, and updates by following K.T. Castle on social media and joining her mailing list.

Click here to learn more.

## Dedication

This book is dedicated to my family and friends, especially the boys in my life. Thank you for supporting and understanding me.

## Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

Author's Note

About the Author

Also by the Author

## Chapter 1

A _lways a bridesmaid, never a bride._ I'd heard that saying more than once now. And it seemed that I was about to hear it once again.

"Kassie! Kassie, wake up! I'm getting married," a high-pitched voice squealed at me at 3:00 a.m.

_Who the hell is this_? I had picked up the phone without even looking at the caller ID. _Oh, Laura. Great._ I found out that even if I was almost asleep, my brain preferred sarcasm.

Laura was one of my best friends. I was one of those lucky people who managed to keep my childhood friends throughout my life. It had always been the five of us from elementary to high school: Marisol, Natalie, Denise, Laura, and me. The perfect number for the perfect friends.

"Kassandra, are you listening? I'm engaged!" Laura screamed from the other side of the phone.

"Yeah, wow," I said. "Congratulations."

"I can't believe you, Kassie. You should be more excited. You'll get to be my bridesmaid!" The volume of her voice kept rising. "I'm the last of your friends to get married, and I chose to call you first. Show some real happiness!"

"I'm happy for you, Laura." I really didn't know at the moment how I felt. I was trying to look around to see exactly where I was. "Believe me. It's just...it's three o'clock, and I was sleeping."

After looking at my surroundings, I remembered I was in my own house. _Good, I'm home._ I had a minor headache, probably from all the drinking the night before, and my body ached a bit. I looked beside me and found the reason for my hurt.

Next to me I found the silhouette of a _no doubt_ beautiful man, probably blond—I had a thing for blonds—and I was pretty sure he was built. I wouldn't settle for anything less. The memories of the few hours before my abrupt awakening came back at me:

A bar. A blond. My home. Some sex...in that order.

Wait, we had sex at the bar before coming home. Yeah, I was sure now.

"I know it's late, but I had to give you the good news." Laura sounded as cheerful as I ever heard her. She really was excited.

"And news it is." She was the last of my best friends who was single; not so long ago we roamed all the bars in town together, looking for men to hook up with, and _suddenly_ she was engaged. "Laura, I haven't seen you for a month, and now you are telling me you're getting married. I didn't even know you were dating anyone."

"I wasn't. Until recently," she confessed. "Remember the trip I was supposed to take with my family? I met him there, and we've been inseparable since."

"For real?" I honestly couldn't believe it. "You met him a few weeks ago and now you decided to get married?" I really needed to wake up and have a little chat with my friend.

I pulled the luxurious sheets off my bed so I could go somewhere else to continue my phone call. Unintentionally, I woke up the sleeping beauty beside me.

He probably looked as confused as I'd been some moments ago. "Hey, pumpkin. Where are you going? Come back to bed," he said in a sleepy voice. I assumed he'd used _pumpkin_ because he couldn't remember my name. Just as I didn't remember his.

I hated pumpkins. "Hey, babe. Sorry, emergency call," I said as I placed my cell phone over my chest to mutter a bit of the conversation with my beautiful stranger. "Do you mind giving me some privacy?" I used the cutest voice I could pull out.

"Sure, pumpkin. Go ahead and take your call," my nameless lover said as he settled himself back into my pillows. "I'll just go back to sleep."

"You know what, I'm sorry, but I might have to step out to help a friend." There was no simple way to kick someone out of your bed. I've learned with time that honesty was the best and more effective policy. "Do you mind going back home for the rest of the night? I'd really appreciate it."

"You mean I can't stay the night?"

"You're so sweet." I really meant, ' _No, hon. Suck it up,'_ but I learned through experience that that particular phrase wasn't really polite. "It was fun."

He stood and walked to the corner chair to pick up his clothes. I was impressed, both by the fact that he even remembered where he left his clothes and because he had a glorious ass. Even in the dark, his luscious body seemed to glow, appealing to me all over again. _Maybe I should reconsider_.

"Kassie! Kassie! Kassandra, are you still there?" If I'd though Laura had screamed before, this was worse.

I placed the phone back on my ear and said, "Oh, yeah, Laura. I'm sorry. I've got company. I'll be with you in a minute."

"You're terrible, Kassandra. Can't you spend a night on your own?" She was a bit dramatic. I never had a different man in my bed every night, let alone every weekend. She wasn't any better. Laura had good taste in men, too. That made me wonder what kind of man had her so hurried to 'settle down'.

Certainly, I wasn't settling with the one standing in my room. He was good-looking—great-looking, to be honest. But he wasn't enough. His body, on the other hand, was good enough to eat. It was a shame to see it all hiding under those designer clothes.

I ushered him to my front door and gave him a goodnight kiss. He was a good kisser. Really good.

I practically melted by the door, and if it wasn't for the phone in my hand, I might have just fallen to the floor and let him have his wicked way with me all over again.

"See, pumpkin, we can still have some more fun together," he tempestuously said. His lips delicately traced my neck as one of his hands followed the same trail until he reached the hem of my camisole. It was tempting—so very tempting. My latest conquest gave me a look that only meant business. He had the most beautiful baby-blue eyes I've ever seen, with an impish glimmer hard to resist. It matched his sexy grin.

"We will, babe, if you remember my name."

His smile was dazzling, and I knew exactly what it meant: no fucking idea.

"Can I at least get your digits?" he tried once more. It was really cute when men did that. And flattering, too. It meant he'd enjoyed himself and wanted more.

"Sorry," I said as I moved my head from side to side. "Have a nice life."

"Bitch."

Well, what could I say? He might have been right.

After I closed my front door, I went back to my phone call. "Okay, Laura. I'm all ears. Tell me everything I need to know about this engagement."

## Chapter 2

I spent a good part of the night talking to Laura. I still found it hard to believe she was getting married. Very movie-like.

They'd met in a resort, and it was love at first sight. He met her family and they all instantly loved him. He was a young, successful entrepreneur, apparently loaded. And for what Laura told me, well-endowed. Not that it made a lot of difference to me, but I knew it was important for Laura. She liked big dicks—in every sense of the word.

I could hardly wait to meet her groom-to-be, who I expected to be an asshole.

What bothered me the most was the fact that my wingman—or wingwoman—was now lost to the world of freedom, about to become a tied-up housewife.

A real shame.

The following day, I received an email from Laura in which she gave me explicit details of what she expected from me in my role as her bridesmaid:

Dear Kassie,

As you know, I had to pick all our best friends to be bridesmaids and stand by my side during my wedding, but of course you are the maid of honor. Eddie and I picked out the date: Saturday June 6 in Bora Bora. I know it might sound far away and expensive, but it really isn't, especially with your wonderful planning skills at hand.

I am so excited that you get to be my MOH. You'll be throwing me my engagement and bachelorette party, and after experiencing what you did in Marisol's, Natalie's, and Denise's events, I can't wait to see what you plan for me. Of course, the rest of the girls will help you out, but to be completely honest, you're the one with the biggest role in my wedding.

With that in mind, I wanted to establish some ground rules with you. First of all, I need to know that you'll be able to clear your calendar for the wedding. If it's a problem for you, I really need to know NOW. By the end of the week, I want to discuss with you the rest of the dates for the engagement party and bachelorette party. I'm counting on you to be by my side for every one of those events. I can't depend on the rest of the girls, but I know that I can count on you. The wedding, as previously stated, will be in Bora Bora, the engagement party at home in L.A., and the bachelorette party in Vegas (I know, cliche, but I really want you to take me there).

Most of the girls live near L.A. now that they've moved out of the city to start their families. Please talk to them, because I don't want there to be any problems with them attending any of the events. Also, you know how Denise is always complaining that money's tight? Please help her out by setting a savings plan for her and that good-for-nothing husband of hers. I really don't want her whining about how she can't afford this and that. I don't have time to deal with her, I'm sorry. She needs to help that husband of hers get a job soon. Sol, too. Please explain to Marisol how she needs someone to take care of her rugrat. I can't have that toddler at my wedding. No matter how cute he is, no babies allowed on my day. Which reminds me, when is Natalie having her baby? That's going to be a problem. How fat do you think she'll get? She needs to look her best. We all do. Please consider the fact that adjustments are going to be needed on her dress after she has her baby.

Dresses. We need something really elegant and chic. I don't want cheap dresses that'll make my wedding look tacky. We'll all dress in light colors, since the wedding is at the beach, probably all white, or not? I'll think about it. I don't want to get lost with the rest of the guests on the wedding. We'll discuss colors and styles later.

I know that you have your iPhone on you all the time, so no excuses for not answering me immediately. Since I'm out of the country at the moment, I'll need all your help with the wedding planning. Don't worry, I won't call you in the middle of the night again (unless it's really important).

Ever since I can remember, I've dreamed about my wedding, and now that the day's about to become a reality, I can hardly wait. I'm so fortunate to have you with me every step of the way. I know it's going to be the most epic wedding ever.

I'll keep in touch!

Love,

Laura

And so it began.

After planning three previous weddings, I'd kind of gotten the hang of it. My concern wasn't really about wedding preparation and all the events. Those I could handle. I did, after all, have a Masters in Business and Procedure Management.

What exactly did I do? Easy. Businesses were always looking for new ways to improve themselves: reduce costs, errors, delays.... My work was simple. I was the one who told businesses how to create process solutions on a broader, cross-functional, organizational-wide scale to drive overall performance.

So planning was exactly my thing. People, however, were not.

Who exactly were we dealing with in a wedding? People. Families. A couple. But more importantly: a bride. Dearest Laura had started the "Bridezilla" phase and was already trying to enslave her maids.

Been there. Done that.

I'm surprised, to say the least, that this was her first wedding cliche (and first check on my Bridezilla list). However, I knew by now that wedding mechanics weren't really about processes and checklists; they dealt more with emotions and wishes.

Because the wedding was all about the bride and how the people around her had to make her wishes come true.

So, after sending an email to the rest of our friends (a very moderate version of Laura's), I set an appointment with them to discuss some wedding arrangements and have a video chat with Laura.

## Chapter 3

"What? Laura's getting married? No way." Denise sounded as incredulous as I first was when I heard the news.

"Yes way," I assured my dark-eyed friend.

Denise was the oldest of us, although probably not the wisest. She married her high school sweetheart when they were way too young and excited, and it hadn't been flowers and candy ever since. Not because they didn't love each other, but because they had had a series of financial problems that had them constantly worried. The latest issue was her husband's four-year-long unemployment. That's right, it wasn't completely easy when they decided not to go to college because they went ahead and got married. However, that didn't deprive my friend of getting golden highlights in her long, straight hair.

"It's hard to believe," Natalie pitched in. "She hasn't had a serious relationship since Julian."

Of all of our friends, Natalie was the sweetest. She was the listener of the group, and there was no problem in the world about which she wouldn't empathize with you. Unfortunately, that was as good as it got. You didn't go to Natalie to find solutions or any bright insight. Plus, her innocent-next-door-neighbor look always made us feel comfortable around her. Her pixie-cut, platinum-blond hair and those big blue eyes were always there when we needed a shoulder to cry on.

"And she was having such a good time slutting around with you," Marisol, the last of my best friends, added matter-of-factly.

"Hey, I resent that. I'm not a slut." Why people always judged me because I was a strong, independent woman was beyond me. I simply assumed they were all a bit jealous.

It was no surprise for me that Marisol was the one pointing it out. If we ever wanted to hear the truth about something, we'd go to Marisol. She might be disguised now as a loving mother, but whoever met Sol before her little toddler was born knew she wasn't the one to hide the awful truth. Even if she was the last to marry, she was the first to procreate. Sol, as we called her because of her shiny personality, now looked dull and exhausted. Apparently, children did that to a woman. The beautiful brunette with almond-brown eyes always wore a ponytail and comfortable clothes these days.

We'd met in Sol's house, since it was more convenient for her and her little one. Plus, she always had healthy snacks and drinks. I rarely ate any of those, and I was sure they were meant for her son and not for her friends. Still, she always had a tray of offerings for us to munch on while we talked.

"No offense. Sorry." Marisol really meant no offense at all; she simply wanted to point out what she believed was a fact.

"Well, your lifestyle might indicate otherwise." Denise sounded resentful.

When had she become so bitter?

"Why exactly is my lifestyle being discussed at the moment?" I was the only one of my friends left unmarried, and by the way they all looked at the moment, I couldn't be more grateful.

"I guess 'cause Laura was _livin' la vida loca_ with you not so long ago," Natalie chimed in without any sort of malice in her voice. If anything, she was trying to lighten the mood—as always.

"Exactly. And now she's getting married?" Denise still seemed in denial, the first stage of loss and grief. Honestly, if anyone was entitled to suffer, it should've been me. They all had husbands they could turn to. I, on the other hand, enjoyed my single life plenty, but I'd just happened to lose my partner in crime.

"Concentrate, girls," I told them all. "This meeting isn't to discuss the _why_ , but the _how_."

"Well, we all know _how_ ," Natalie pointed out. Silly observation, really.

"Natalie, you know what I mean." Sometimes even her sweetness got me crazy.

"The _when_ is more like it." Marisol tried to sound smart. Well, she at least changed her mood enough to be sarcastic instead of bitchy.

"Thanks, Sol, for your wonderful participation," I said. Could any of them just concentrate for five minutes so we could get this over with? Laura was going to call us anytime to hang out via video conference, and I wanted everyone to be ready so we could avoid any drama. "Let me talk, and you all just listen. Laura's decided to marry Eddie," I started. Once more, I was interrupted.

"Who's Eddie?" Denise quietly asked Marisol.

"Who knows." Marisol simply stated.

"Shh, Kassie's starting to get all red," Natalie warned.

Yes, even if my skin wasn't light, it responded the same way when upset or embarrassed. My late parents had a modern marriage—one that didn't see anything wrong with interracial relationships. Therefore, my heritage was African-Russian, giving me a wonderful combination of genes to create my beautiful self. Light blue eyes with caramel-colored skin, lips everyone envied, and wonderful brown-golden curls.

Paying no attention to their interruption, I continued. "They're getting married next June in Bora Bora."

"Oh, great! 'Cause getting married in L.A. wasn't fancy enough for her." As expected, Denise was the first one complaining about the location. "Doesn't she know money's tight?"

I looked at her, since I completely understood her worries, and said, "We'll discuss money later, Denise. The engagement party will be here in L.A."

"Well, thanks a lot," Denise said sarcastically now.

This time, I didn't acknowledge her. "She wants us to throw her a bachelorette party in Vegas." And that finished the plans I had so far.

"Yay, Vegas. Fun!" Natalie exclaimed.

"Fun, said the pregnant lady," Denise and her sarcasm struck back.

Natalie was three months pregnant. I easily forgot since, first, it really wasn't on my priority list, and second, she didn't show at all.

"Fun for you. I hate going to Vegas," Marisol added, her boredom more than obvious. She'd become such a drag since she became a mother. I seriously wondered sometimes how we were going to manage to stay friends.

"We haven't been to Vegas in a million years," Natalie continued.

"Regardless, it's more money to spend." Denise's complaining apparently never stopped.

Seriously, the wedding planning barely started and we were already dividing because of it.

"Calm down, girls," I said. I had to do some damage control before everything fell apart. "We're going to do things right and plan everything from the beginning to get the best deals and spend the least possible amount of money. But, yeah, it's true. Some money is going to be spent. Just as it was in all your weddings."

Marisol hadn't gotten married very long ago. Three years ago, to be accurate. And we had all spent money on every single one of their weddings. What were they expecting? Not investing a single dime on their friend's big day?

"Easy for you to say. You don't have a family to support," Denise said. She was the worst about money. I guessed she married so long ago, and so young, that she was the first to complain when someone else got married. It was as if she didn't remember how much we pitched in all those years ago, when she'd finished high school without a penny and we helped out so she could get married the way she wanted.

"You don't have a family to support. You only have a husband," Marisol finally told her. "I have a child. How exactly am I supposed to bring him to Bora Bora? Does he need a passport?"

Wow, another topic of discussion—the protective mother who needed to take her child everywhere she went. I know she needed a rest and time for herself. "It might be better if you leave your baby in the States. Think of it as a second honeymoon," I told her gently.

"I haven't thought about that." Natalie's brain seemed to finally get a grip on our conversation. "What about _my_ baby? Which reminds me," she added. "Can we have the bachelorette party after I have the baby? I'd like to drink something during our stay in Vegas."

"You won't be able to drink if you're breastfeeding. Plus, you might be so tired with the long, sleepless nights that you might not be able to handle it. It might be better if we do it before your baby's born." Leave it to Marisol, the voice of experience, to break it to Natalie that drinking wasn't in her future.

Poor girl must be suffering.

"Oh, great," Denise commented, her voice unrestrained acid. "Who's giving us a lap dance with a pregnant lady in our party?" Not a moment ago, she'd complained about money being tight and now she had a dollar for a strip club. I thought I might have to have another kind of conversation with her after all this madness was over.

"You might be impressed," was my only response. I knew for a fact that plenty of men out there were willing. Pregnant woman or not. "So, what is it, Natalie? Before or after you have the baby?" I asked her.

"Apparently before," Natalie decided, all the excitement gone from her voice.

"Great. How about February?" I put out for votes. "Does that give us enough time to recover from Christmas and New Year's, but still far enough away from Natalie's due date?"

"It seems so," Denise muttered.

"If you say so," Marisol said blandly.

"Sounds good to me." Natalie sounded defeated, now.

With all this excitement, Laura might kill one of us soon.

"I'll leave the engagement party date for Laura to choose. Probably soon. I'll try to make her choose the second week of November, so we don't struggle with Thanksgiving," I said as I finished calendaring all the dates. "Sound good for everyone?"

"It's only a month away." Denise had done her math quickly.

"Would you rather have it in December?" I knew she felt things were going to start fast, but I also knew there were some extra expenses at the end of the year which complicated everyone's personal economic situations.

"No, please. Not December. You guys know, well...not really, Santa and all that," Marisol said, begging with her eyes. I've seen the Christmas presents she bought her child. She should start saving for his college education instead of investing so much in silly gifts. How much could a toddler appreciate expensive things? I've seen the little rascal eat a booger or two, myself.

"I'd rather have it before Thanksgiving," Sol finally said.

"Although, it'll be nice to take advantage of those Thanksgiving discounts," Denise said.

"Relax with the expenses. I told you, we'll get good deals." I was going to do my best to ensure everything was perfect for Laura without affecting the rest of our friends, especially Denise's fragile budget. "What if all of us pitched in for the engagement gift?"

"Sounds nice." For the first time, Denise sounded a bit enthusiastic.

"And we'll have time to plan the rest of the events." I really needed their help. Laura was proving too challenging to please.

"I think it's better if we leave all that to you," Marisol said. "You're the one with the special brain. The planning master." Of course, she'd be the first to wash her hands of the whole situation.

I couldn't believe it. It happened every single time. I knew that eighty percent of the population struggled with planning, and I also knew I was one of the privileged ten percent fortunate enough to be born with a brain that had no problem planning. I hadn't ever even needed to learn any planning skills. But, come on, I wasn't about to be left alone planning this wedding.

"Guys, I need your help. You can't expect me to do everything on my own."

"Well, you're the one who's single." Denise then used their other weapon against me.

"So, just 'cause I'm single, I'm supposed to plan everything?" I didn't have a particular man to please, but I did please men. Probably more than they each of these women did, at least in the bedroom department.

"No, not really," Marisol finally confessed. "But you sure have more free time than the rest of us." She wouldn't even let me have one tiny win.

As much as I knew they told the truth, they all still frustrated me so easily. Even at Sol's son's birthday party, she'd left me alone to plan the whole thing for her. It wasn't fair. This time, it wasn't an event for any of them; it was for Laura. But I knew that eventually they'd all need my help for planning something else, and if they didn't help me out this time, they could all forget about involving me in their next planning charade.

"I'm really sorry, Kassie," Natalie said. "I'll help as much as I can, as long as my pregnancy allows it."

That's right Natalie, think about your baby shower. Who's going to plan that for you?

"I'll do my best, though planning is not my forte." Denise might have been some help as the only one of my friends without children. Maybe I should get her husband to help, too. After all, he didn't have much else to do. Besides looking for a job.

On second thought, that probably wasn't a good idea. I didn't want to give him the wrong impression.

I couldn't help feeling more than a little defeated. I knew they all expected me to plan this on my own, and it hurt. Regardless, I wasn't going to let it go. I would nag them until every woman gave in for just a little help.

After a few minutes, my phone rang. Laura's name and photo flashed across the screen. It was time to talk to the bride-to-be.

"Great, Laura's here. Let's tell her about our plans."

## Chapter 4

Laura was finally back in L.A. and she decided we needed to have brunch to discuss wedding details. Mainly for me, the brunch meant that I got to meet the man making all of this happen—Eddie.

I knew by now how they met and the _wonderful_ reasons of their getting together. Even so, Laura didn't have the brightest history with men, so I wanted to be sure she wasn't making a huge mistake. While her taste was immaculate—she had this magnet to attract the most handsome men in a thirty-square-foot area—the results of such attraction were not. Usually, the men tended to turn into awful beasts after a few dates (alcoholics, workaholics, jealous, you name it), all resulting in them being assholes.

Not that it might make much difference...

As soon as I arrived at the fancy restaurant, the most popular one in the city at the moment, I approached the hostess and gave Laura's first and last name. I was informed that someone in my party already arrived and that he had already been seated.

The hostess ushered me through the various tables and guests, until, in the most private corner of the restaurant, I was able to see our table and the person occupying it.

This can't be happening.

The person sitting at our table was definitely someone I knew. Someone I actually had been avoiding for quite some time.

"Well, well. Good morning, babe," the beautiful blond said to me.

I knew this guy. I'd constantly met him at bars and pubs around the city. He was always well accompanied by attractive ladies, but that didn't stop him from hitting on me. Persistently, he'd tried for the past couple years to get my number and into my panties.

This man and I had a history...well, not really. We had a history of not having a history. He was an artfully known womanizer in the circles we frequented. Knowing exactly what I'd be getting myself into if I ever decided to tap that drop-dead gorgeous body of his, I had no choice but to reject him over and over again.

One drunken night I almost caved in.

We'd kissed for a while. His kisses made me all hot and wanton, especially when his lips went to my earlobe and neck, making their way to my chest. He was a wonderful kisser. That night, his mouth didn't quite get to taste my aching nipples, as had been my desire at the time, though his skilled fingers had given them plenty of attention. His lips really drove me crazy, not only from their naughty words but from the wet trail they left on my body. He kissed even better than he looked, and that was saying a lot.

We'd made out until one of his bimbo girlfriends came up to us and asked if we were in a mood for a threesome. She was beautiful, but I would never be into that kind of scene. Been there, done that. And in my experience it never ends well.

It made me think about that time in college when my boyfriend begged me to have a threesome, and, well, if you don't agree to those kinds of things in your early twenties, when exactly are you going to? It wasn't nice, let me tell you. The experience only encouraged him into insisting I agree to just about everything else that made me uncomfortable, and after several refusals, he ended up having sex with another woman in front of me. Not exactly anything I could digest. The relationship was doomed from that moment. I never knew if that was the reason we broke up.

Probably not. But still, ménage-a-trois—big no-no in my book.

By the looks of it, though, he had no problem with it. He was totally my type, blond and beautiful. Whether he was a womanizer or not.

Laura couldn't be marrying this man.

"Oh, God. Not you. You're a man whore!"

He stood as soon as the statement escaped my lips. He didn't look offended. I guess he was used to my rejections by now. "Nice to see you, too," the handsome man said. "I like knowing that you miss me."

"Miss you? You wish! I can't believe you're marrying my best friend." And I really didn't.

"No offense, babe, but I'm not the one marrying Laura. I'm Ed's friend. Name's Josh, remember?"

Oh, right. Josh. For a moment there, I thought I had to talk Laura into canceling the wedding.

"Have a seat, angel." Josh had this habit of talking to me as if we were close. "Our friends are running a little late. I'd like to take advantage of having you all to myself."

We weren't close.

"Knock it off with the chivalry. Ain't gonna happen." I'd lost count of the number of times I'd turned him down. He kept trying to get his hands on me again after that failure of a night, but I kept rejecting him. It was a little game we played now. He probably thought I was flirting. And I couldn't say I wasn't. He was absolutely gorgeous. But I didn't do repeats, and I didn't do _that_ gorgeous.

"A man can only dream," he said playfully, smiling. Man, he had a great smile. And that hair. His dirty-blond hair looked like he half attempted to get it into style without success and gave up. As if he didn't care. But I knew just how much he cared; it showed in his eyes. Those eyes—they were as gray as steel and manifested the storm of my attraction to him.

"Kassie. Kassie!" Laura distracted me before my thoughts took me to all the wrong places. I was totally attracted to Josh, even if I wanted to deny it. Which was why I kept my distance and avoided him at all cost.

Thank God I wasn't alone with him anymore.

Laura ran to me and gave me a big hug. It was silly that knowing she was getting married made me feel protective about her. She and I had partied a lot and went clubbing regularly. Laura always ended up in someone's handsome arms. Even though I always took care of her, I couldn't remember feeling this protective over her. It was probably due to her fast engagement and my not knowing who the heck she was marrying.

"Oh, Laura! Finally, you're here." I was a bit afraid of her standing us up, and me ending up completely alone with Josh. "You look amazing!" And somehow, she looked and felt different. Not only did she come across as mega beautiful and extremely joyful, but in a way, she had an aura of maturity around her. It suited her.

Surprisingly, it did.

"I know, right? I went to my stylist the moment I got back. I needed a whole new look and wardrobe. After all, I'm a bride-to-be!" It took her a moment to acknowledge the man standing beside me. "Oh, I see you met Josh. He's Eddie's best friend."

Yeah, well, hopefully their friendship didn't reflect too much about Eddie's character.

"So where's Ed, sweetheart?" Josh hugged her and kissed her cheek politely. It was the first time I'd seen him use anything other than a hand-on approach. Weird. However, we _were_ standing in plain daylight in an open restaurant, and she _was_ marrying his best friend, so maybe he did have some boundaries.

"He'll be right here. He went to park the car." Laura couldn't keep from smiling as she talked about her fiancé. "You know how he is. No one gets to drive his car but him."

"Sure. He doesn't like people playing with his things," Josh commented as he took his napkin from the table and sat while placing it back on his lap. "Too bad for me, right Laura?" He winked at her.

There was the man I knew, crossing the boundaries however he liked.

Regardless, Laura didn't seem to mind. "Josh, you're such a flirt." She brushed him off as she sat next to me. "Have you guys ordered something to drink? How about mimosas?"

"Isn't it a little early?" I knew she was excited about the wedding, but having champagne this early in the day made me nervous.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for partying all day long. Especially when there was a good reason to do it. But somehow, this reunion was making me feel uneasy. That uneasiness bordered on turning into frustration and annoyance. I couldn't shake the feeling that this brunch meeting was fated to be a disaster.

"It's fine, Kassie. We're celebrating!" Laura was so full of enthusiasm and happiness, it was hard not to get infected. "If you'd rather have some Perrier, go for it. I don't really mind."

Seeing her this happy was really revealing. Only a really good man could make her glow like this. I'd heard her over the phone, and her excitement seemed sincere, but now that it was up close and personal, I could only think about how good Eddie must be for her.

"Have some champagne, babe. Don't ruin the fun," Josh told me.

It wasn't my intention to be a buzzkill. I just had a few reservations, namely drinking on an empty stomach and...well, Josh being so close to me.

As if reading my mind, he took my hand in his. I pulled it back as fast as I could, and after a second I realized that was ridiculously rude. Laura noticed and frowned at me. Josh didn't comment or try to hide the event with some kind of joke; he just stared toward the front door of the restaurant. Maybe he was finally getting it.

"Oh, here he comes," he said. Maybe he'd ignored me because he'd found Eddie walking toward us.

Anyhow, I was happy to not be the center of his attention anymore.

I turned around in my seat to see Eddie coming our way. Oh, shit.

I wanted my eyes to be lying to me. The moment I saw Josh, I knew the day was going to be rough, but now...him? I couldn't believe it.

"You dog. You're getting married!" Josh was the first to approach him. He gave Eddie a bear hug and a few slaps on the back. "I can't believe I'm losing my wingman."

Funny, that's how I felt about Laura. But at the moment, I could only look at Edward. And he noticed.

He and I definitely had a history. A true history. In my threesome college experience, Edward had been the M in the F-M-F group.

That's right.

He'd been my first love and had pretty much messed me up forever. It wasn't something I even allowed myself to think about—the only moment of weakness I'd ever had with a man. I thought I'd left that part of my life behind me in Massachusetts after I'd finished college and moved on.

I was so very thankful in that moment that my friends didn't know about this part of my past. They'd all stayed in California to study (except Denise, who went straight to work after getting married), but I'd been offered a scholarship at UMass and gladly left for the best education I could afford. I'd also accepted, a little shamefully, that I somehow managed to disconnect from my friends during this phase of my life, since Edward and school had been the only focus. Our relationship had lasted a little too long, exactly between Denise's and Natalie's weddings.

Apparently, today the past had chosen to come right back at me.

What a way to start this wedding adventure.

"Stop it, Josh. We've got company." Edward brushed Josh off him and went to Laura. He gave her a tender hug and a steamy kiss, then looked into her eyes and asked, "Did you order something to drink, honey?"

"We sure did," Laura said as she melted into him. "Mimosas are on the way, although Kassie didn't want to have alcohol this early. Oh, I'm sorry. Eddie, this is my best friend Kassandra. Kassie, this is my future husband Edward."

"Hello, Kassandra," Edward said as he looked at me intensely. He remembered me. I could see it in his eyes. I learned to fear those looks of his; back then I would have done anything he asked of me if he looked at me that way. And I had.

"Hi." There wasn't anything else I could think of saying. At least, I couldn't think of anything appropriate for our meet-and-greet brunch reunion.

We finally sat and took a look at our menus. The last thing on my mind at the moment was eating. I needed a drink. Whiskey sounded way more appealing than mimosas.

I could feel Josh looking at me, but I did my best to ignore him. I also felt Edward's eyes on me every now and then. Even though Josh and Laura were the ones sitting next to me, I could sense Edward the most, all the way from across the table. I didn't want to look up and run the risk of meeting his gaze.

How was I supposed to explain this to my friend?

"You won't believe this, Eddie. Apparently, Kassie and Josh already know each other," Laura lightly commented. She was completely ignorant of the fact that I knew her future husband—intimately—and I wasn't about to explain it to her.

"It doesn't impress me, to be quite honest. Josh is a total whore." He sounded cold and bored. Exactly as I remembered him.

Was that what he really thought about Josh, or was it about me?

"What can I say? Life is good," Josh commented as he placed his arm around me. This time, I didn't even move. When I thought about it, I probably wasn't even breathing right then.

"Sure it is. And because of our wedding, Kassie gets to be my maid of honor and you get to be Eddie's best man. Pretty cool, huh?" Laura was in her own little wedding world, oblivious to the hell I was living at that very moment.

"The best," Josh confirmed. "Especially 'cause I get to play around with the bridesmaids."

"Well, not much, I'm afraid," Laura said playfully. "All my friends are married except Kassie."

I knew what she was trying to do; she knew that Josh was exactly my type.

Think again, Laura.

She had no idea that Edward had actually been the one who set the trend when it came to _my type_. Edward was excruciatingly handsome—movie-star beautiful. With light blond hair and crystal-clear blue eyes, he was irresistible. Not only that, but now that he'd "grown up", now that he wasn't just a college boy, he'd gotten a lot better at showing everyone just how handsome he was. His refined suit and expensive-looking shoes screamed _money_. And that was probably the first thing that had attracted Laura to him.

"Even better," Josh said, tearing me away from my thoughts. "Can't wait to get her all hot and panting." He kept teasing me, but I couldn't respond.

"Finally, drinks are here," Edward said. He grabbed two mimosa glasses from the waiter's tray, gallantly giving Laura the first before he served himself the second.

"Great! Let's toast. For an epic wedding!" Josh held up his glass.

Everyone held a drink but me. I had the most unappealing glass of Perrier in the world before me, and at the moment I regretted not having ordered something else.

Without asking, I grabbed Josh's glass and gulped down every single drop of that mimosa.

"Oh, that's rude, Kassie." Laura frowned at me once more. "You said you didn't want one."

"I didn't know we were toasting," I said. Or that I would need one so desperately.

I knew she was about to start really noticing my strange behavior, so I needed to compose myself and act like everything was just peachy.

"But now Josh has nothing to drink," Laura stated.

"That's all right. Kassie gets what Kassie wants." For whatever unknown reason, Josh was backing me up. At that moment, I was thankful. "I wanted a beer, anyways," he added.

As a gesture of apology, I called the waiter. "I would like another mimosa," I said. "Oh, and he wants something, too." I pointed at Josh so he could order his drink.

Laura frowned at me; now she knew something was going on. "Excuse me," she said. "I need to use the Ladies' room."

I knew what she was doing. She was trying to get me alone with her so I could explain myself.

It wasn't happening.

I didn't know exactly what I wanted to say. She expected me to join her, but I didn't feel like having a conversation with her about just how wonderful Edward was. So I stayed put. Laura looked around, trying to find some company to the restroom.

Josh saved the day for the second time.

"Yeah, I have to go too. I'll come with you," he said as he stood and playfully offered Laura his arm.

"What a charmer, Josh. We'll be right back." They left, but not without Laura shooting me another one of her looks. The one that said, _'We'll talk about this later.'_

I wasn't about to be alone with Edward. I'd rather sit through Laura's questions and babbling than stay here with him.

"Laura, I'll come with you," I said lightly, as if I'd suddenly changed my mind.

Laura really surprised me when she said, "Oh, nonsense. Keep Eddie company. BRB."

Tragic, really tragic.

I should have taken my chance when I had one. Now I was alone with a man I wanted to avoid with every part of my being.

We were quiet for a few seconds before he said, "I see that you've been doing really well, Kassandra."

He loved to say my name, rolling the syllables on his tongue. I'd loved it, too, once. Now I hated it.

"Yeah, well, thanks."

"You look mouthwateringly beautiful," he added.

The man had no shame. What exactly was he trying to do?

"Why are you trying to make me uncomfortable?" I asked.

"I wasn't," he said, as if this was completely boring him, nothing more than a brunch with old friends. Which, in a way, it was. "I simply wanted to loosen the tension between us before Laura noticed."

So he didn't want to cause a scene. Good—that was good.

"I can't believe you're marrying her. I can't believe you're marrying...anyone. What am I supposed to do with all this?" At least I managed to speak honestly.

"Nothing," Edward stated. "You aren't supposed to do anything. Leave things as they are and make no comments."

I didn't exactly understand what he meant. Was he trying to make me feel better? Or was he threatening me? It wouldn't be that easy.

"No comments? How dare you—"

"We're back!" Laura surprised me and interrupted my almost heated outburst. "Were you talking about how wonderful I am and how lucky you all are to be part of my life?" She batted her eyelashes at _Eddie_ and smiled at me.

"Of course, honey," he reassured her.

The nerve.

Asshole.

I knew Laura's new paramour was going to be a complete jerk. I simply didn't have any idea how much more of a dick he could make of himself.

"I knew it. It was exactly the same conversation Josh and I had," she said, grinning, and sat down. "Oh, great, the food's here."

The waiter arrived with our food, and on his tray were Josh's beer and my mimosa. He was kind enough to take both drinks from the tray and place them on the table.

I grabbed my second mimosa and drank the whole thing in one swing before the waiter placed the hot dishes on the table.

"I'll be needing another one of these," I said to the waiter.

"Calm down, babe. There's plenty of time to celebrate." Josh patted my thigh a little too amorously for my taste. But I let it go. I was more scared about the meaning of his words.

Celebrating.

He'd just reminded me of my other pressing anxiety. Wedding preparations had just started.

## Chapter 5

I thought I would be happy once I got in my car and on my way home.

I was wrong.

The part of the equation I hadn't contemplated was that my _friends_ thought I was unable to drive due to (and I quote) _'excessive drinking.'_

Unbelievable.

As if my drinking was unjustified.

"I told you I could drive myself home," I repeated for possibly the fifth time.

They discussed how _Eddie_ didn't like anyone touching his toys, or driving his car, as was the case. Well, guess what? I didn't like my car driven by other people either. But did they listen to me? No. They just decided, and now I had to deal with the handsome blond driving me home.

"I know, babe. But after five mimosas, we didn't want to take any chances," Josh lightly said. "Besides, I'm really curious to know what happened between Eddie and you. The tension was almost palpable in the restaurant." He glanced at me.

I couldn't believe it.

Had I been that obvious?

Now that I thought about it, yes. I was possibly too apparent.

"Do you think Laura noticed?"

"Not really. She thought the tension was between you and me, not really between you and Edward." At least he _tried_ to ameliorate my shame. Regardless, Josh wanted to fish for information, that much was obvious.

"This is _so_ bad," I said.

"Not really," he repeated. "I explained to her that the tension between us was sexual. That it'll go away after we sleep together."

How did he so simply assume I would have sex with him? "Not in a thousand years."

He laughed at my response. It always got under my skin how he was so sure of himself. Problem was, he reminded me too much of Edward. Today I learned why.

"So, that's what happened, right?" Josh asked me insistently.

"What happened?" I, of course, was playing dumb. I knew exactly what he wanted to know. I simply didn't want him to know it.

"You had sex with him." This time, he didn't ask a question; he made a statement. As if it was a fact.

I hated that he was right.

I simply ignored him. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of an answer.

"Was it before or after they got engaged?" Josh curiously asked once more.

How dare he infer such a thing? "Shut up!" I had to take a deep breath. "I would never sleep with any of my friends' lovers. There's plenty of men out there for me to fool around with, and I don't need to get my picks from their drawers."

When have I ever done such a thing? Not once.

Josh had followed me around enough to notice who I'd taken home. Guys I picked up at bars and met on the spot. I rarely had the same guy twice, or even fuck buddies. My thing was one-night stands, and that was about it.

Okay, I wasn't a whore, but I was perfectly happy being single. And it wasn't as if I'd slept with thousands of guys—not really. I just fooled around more often than anything. However, I didn't do relationships. Not since Edward. He was my first and only. Been there, done that. Not interested anymore.

"But you _did_ fool around with him." Josh was really persistent. And observant, apparently. "I might not know you that well, and I have to say that that's entirely your fault, but I know him. He's had you before and he's proud of it."

"Well, _Eddie_ can blow me!" I couldn't contain myself anymore.

"That's way more information than I needed," Josh said with humor in his voice. Anyone could tell he was enjoying himself.

I, on the other hand, was not.

"It's not what you think it is." I knew it would be a better choice to explain myself after my outburst. I didn't like the idea of Josh thinking something totally inaccurate. "It happened a long time ago, during my senior year of college. Long before he met Laura, I promise."

He listened attentively and, after a moment, he asked, "Then, what's the problem?"

"I don't like him." It was that simple.

Josh gave himself another minute before he chuckled and said, "Oh, I see. He dumped you."

"He used me. I dumped him," I corrected.

No one dumped me. Not even Edward.

"Burned, I see."

This guy was so going to pay for making fun of me so much. "He plays with women. Just like you," I replied. Eat that up, Mr. Know-it-all.

"Hey, stop judging me." He didn't sound offended, per se, but at least he gave me the satisfaction of not correcting me. That's how I knew he didn't like my comment.

"Besides," he continued, "if it's any comfort, he's head-over-heels for Laura."

At the moment, it didn't provide much comfort at all, but in a way, I was glad he was really into her. Maybe this time, his feelings were real.

"Just thought you might like knowing," Josh clarified.

"Good to know." As if it mattered. It didn't change what Eddie was.

We were quiet for a couple of minutes, listening to a silly hard rock station he chose. To be honest, I let him; they were playing 80s music, and I've always been into it. Even still, I would never admit that to him.

Josh finally broke the silence with a question that caught me off guard. "What about you? Are you with anyone at the moment?"

"None of your business." It didn't take me long to respond, though. It really wasn't any of his business.

"That's a _no_." How he decided that my response was equivalent to a _no_ was beyond me. After my _answer_ , he made yet another personal question. "What about you and me hooking up?"

"Not happening."

I needed to be very clear with him. There was no _we_ or _us_ , as in a relationship. He could surely get some women of his own.

Or maybe that was the problem.

"Been having a hard time with the ladies recently?" If he was getting up close and personal with me, then I was getting up close and personal with him. Tit for tat.

"Ladies come to me on their own. Thanks for your concern," Josh explained with some kind of satisfaction on his face. "I just happen to want you."

That was a bit shocking—his sincerity. Under different circumstances, I might have considered it, but...

"Not interested," I repeated before I could even finish my own thought.

"We'll spend a lot of time together before the wedding. You'll change your mind."

I couldn't wait to prove him wrong. "Womanizer isn't exactly my type," I explained.

"Womanizer isn't exactly what I am," he defended.

Did he think I was blind? I've seen him in action. Always in the best clubs. Surrounded by the most beautiful women. Everything around him was always shiny, expensive, and extravagant.

Certain signs indicated whether or not a man was a womanizer. One just needed to be observant.

Yep. I learned all those from Edward, and I could see them all on Josh's face.

He was a womanizer.

"Doubt it. I've seen you in action," I said, voicing my thoughts out loud. Part of them, at least.

"And there's much more for you to see." He had a never-ending supply of flirting. He knew exactly what he was doing.

We stopped our conversation until we arrived to my apartment complex. I lived in one of the best areas of L.A., and even if it wasn't the most expensive, it was expensive enough. I worked hard to own a place like this one.

Josh didn't seem impressed by it.

Well, then. It was time for him to get a cab and go back to the restaurant where he left his own car.

He drove into the parking lot and passed security with a smile on his face. As if he belonged here and he wasn't only visiting.

"This is good enough. Thanks," I said after directing him to my parking spot.

He turned the car off. "Won't do, babe," he said as he gave me my car keys and a peck on my cheek. "I'd rather walk you to your door."

"You're a pain in the ass," I commented, dramatically cleaning his kiss from my face and grabbing the keys he offered. Then I got my purse and exited the car, slamming the door in the process.

It was infuriating. Treating me as a lousy drinker.

It took more than five mimosas to get me drunk.

He came up behind me as I stopped at the elevator. I ignored him, and then he whispered in my ear, "I may be a pain in the ass, but I'll gladly make it feel better."

For an unknown reason his comment made me laugh. I was used to men making observations of my ass—I had a really nice one, if I did say so myself. I worked hard on it and I was proud of the outcome.

Josh walked behind me to my door. I knew exactly what he was doing back there; he could admire as much as he wanted, because that was as far as he was going to get.

Enjoy the view, _babe_.

When we finally reached my door I said, "This is me. Thanks."

"How about a thank you kiss?" His eyes sparkled, the dimples showing on his cheeks as he smiled at me. It was really cute.

Just for kicks, I kissed him on one of those dimples. They were nice. I'd forgotten about them.

"That just made my day," Josh said. Then he kissed me back, too close to my mouth to be honest, but he kept it light and natural. When he smiled again, those dimples I'd recently rediscovered framed his cheeks.

How could they suddenly make me feel that he was too cute to believe?

He grabbed a curl which had fallen from my bun and placed it behind my ear. "I'll call you later," he said, softly exhaling.

"You don't have my number," I told him. I have never, ever given him my number.

"Sure I do," he said with a mischievous grin on his face. I stared at him. "Take it easy, Kass," he interrupted, taking me completely by surprise. "It's going to be a long wedding."

Kass. No one calls me Kass.

But somehow, it sounded nice coming from him.

## Chapter 6

After moving some stuff around in everyone's agenda, we managed to get a time and day to get together for dress-hunting. Of course, Laura had to have in mind the most exclusive (and expensive) wedding boutique.

I talked to all our friends before our shopping spree, especially to Denise, since I knew she was going to be the one complaining the most.

Like I expected, I had to be the one to get there on time, and little by little, the rest started to arrive. Everyone but Laura. It was no surprise that she wanted to make a dramatic entrance. Or, at least, I believed that was the reason behind her lateness.

Regardless of the reason, it gave us time to take a look at some of the bridesmaid dresses. Surprisingly, we found some beautiful pieces at pretty affordable prices. It was a matter of convincing Laura that she wanted them.

"I have a cousin, Maria Fernanda, who's a seamstress. Do you girls remember her? She did another cousin's sweet sixteen dress. I bet she could do our dresses for half this price," Sol commented. I thought it was wonderful that Marisol's family had always mastered a certain trade. Jewelry, shoemaking, tailor...you name it, a member of her family probably knew how to do it. I learned a lot about her family and all their businesses and trades during Marisol's wedding. It wasn't that convenient back then, but it turned out to be convenient for planning Laura's.

"That'll be wonderful, Sol. Kassie, do you think we can have our dresses made with her?" Denise excitedly said, speaking for the first time.

"I don't see why not. It's a matter of picking the color, fabric, and style."

Natalie seemed a little doubtful. "No offense, Sol, but is she good? She's just a girl." That was a real concern, right there. "I don't want my dress to fall apart after an hour of wearing it." Maria Fernanda was a few years younger than us, and we honestly hadn't heard from her in the last three years.

"Oh, no. The girl's good, I assure you." She told us about the dress Marisol wore to her child's birthday party, which the girls loved, and how inexpensive it had been. We decided that after we finished here with Laura, we'd go pick up Sol's precious toddler and visit the wonderful sewing cousin of hers. Hopefully we could share our ideas with her while checking out her creations.

"Hello, girls! You're all here. How wonderful!" Laura finally arrived at the store, and as I assumed, with a dramatic entrance. "Get together, please. I need you all to meet Eddie, my future husband."

All my best friends fell under Edward's spell and went to congratulate the happy couple. I, on the other hand, tried to keep my distance as casually as possible.

Then I saw Natalie's face change from excited, to confused, and then to disgusted. Her big blue eyes went wide with emotion. She remembered him...and I'd forgotten that.

Natalie had met Edward before.

Six years ago, when I planned Natalie's wedding, Edward came to visit L.A. with me and met her. Natalie knew about him, and I saw only that acknowledgement on her face.

I rapidly went to her and pulled her to a chaise a little far from the crowd. Hopefully, everyone would think she just got sick and I was helping her out.

"Is he... Is he..." Natalie tried to make sense between heavy pants. "It can't be him, Kassie, can it?"

"It's him, Nat. It's okay," I told her as I soothed her light, short hair.

"But him...he broke...he did...." Natalie continued.

"Don't worry, Natalie. He's crazy about Laura," I reassured her as much as I could. "I would never allow this if I didn't know that."

"But you...what about you? Are you fine?"

"I'm over him, if that's what you want to know." I didn't want Natalie to worry about all of this. It probably wasn't good for the baby.

With all the commotion, a beautiful saleswoman approached our group. "I see the bride-to-be is finally here. Should we start looking at some wedding gowns?"

"Sure!" everyone said.

Another cute and perky saleswoman came to take a look at Natalie and me, asking Natalie, "Are you okay, ma'am? Can I get you anything?"

"She's fine," I said. "She just got a little dizzy, but she's fine. Some water would be nice, thank you."

Natalie looked at me with those blue eyes. "Have you told her?" Apparently, she'd missed the whole conversation with the attentive blonde next to us.

"She doesn't need to know." I wanted nothing at the moment but to end Natalie's mortification right then. "Please, Natalie, be happy for Laura. I am."

She nodded as she took the water the blonde saleswoman offered and stood up to join our friends. I'd probably have to have another conversation with her later about all this. I didn't want her to worry.

After I got up, I turned to Edward, who stood closer to me now because he didn't follow the ladies. I asked, "Are you staying here for the wedding dress selection?"

"Of course not, babe. It's bad luck, after all." Josh's voice came out of nowhere. I followed its sound and found him quietly hanging near the entrance of the boutique, looking like a dream in a pair of tight black jeans, leather jacket, and boots.

I believed my heart skipped a beat.

But I had to stay under control. He was trouble I didn't want.

As the girls went around the store and looked at the different dresses, Edward stepped closer to me and said, "No, Kassandra. I won't stay. I believe Laura has everything under control."

His approaching me had me all nervous and jumpy. I didn't want him to get closer to me, especially with Natalie and Laura so close. I had to find a way to talk to Laura about her fiancé and my past. Our past.

I'd stopped breathing. Seconds later, I felt someone's arm going around my waist and a soft, wet kiss placed near my mouth. It wasn't Edward, because I could still see him. I turned and found Josh's sweet smile. I relaxed against his arms and was particularly thankful for his interfering. And suddenly, I didn't feel as angry about Edward being here.

"We're going to some pub to have a beer," Josh informed me. "If you need anything, let us know, Kass. We'll be close enough to come by if you need us."

"Sure we will," Edward reaffirmed with that bored expression on his face, rolling his baby blue eyes. "I need a favor from you, Kassandra."

He didn't wait to hear my response to his demand.

"I'll buy Laura's dress as a gift." This wasn't a surprise—some grooms did that as a custom. "However, I would like the price to be under..." and he whispered a supremely handsome amount of money.

"I don't think that'll be a problem," I said to him. "I believe it's a really reasonable budget."

"I believe so myself, but you know Laura better than I do, and I'm sure she'll manage to find something surpassing it." Edward apparently knew Laura well enough to know that, if it was her decision, she'd pick the most expensive dress in the place.

"Ed, man, shouldn't you be sayin' that to Laura instead of Kass?" Josh seemed to be voicing some of the thoughts in my own head. "This is between you and that woman of yours."

"I can't deprive Laura of her happiness," Edward simply answered. "Besides, I'm certain Kassandra can manage."

This is the _Eddie_ I knew—always challenging me.

I didn't want to talk to either of them anymore. I needed to get away.

"It's all right, Josh. I'll see what I can do."

I left, not before mentally adding the second entry of my Bridezilla Checklist:

With all of Denise's complaints and now Edward's restriction regarding money, I _had_ to add it to the list.

To be really honest, Edward was rather splendid with the amount of money he was considering for the wedding dress. Unfortunately, knowing Laura, she was going to make it more than challenging to stay under the budget. Josh had been completely right by pointing out that it wasn't really of any concern of mine to moderate Laura's expenses. However, he'd also presented a bait to me, and I'd bitten it forcefully. It pissed me off that he still could affect me like that.

All this made me wonder—why was Edward paying for most of the wedding expenses?

As much as I'd looked up weddings, it wasn't really in the groom's responsibilities to cover everything. That could only mean that Laura's parents weren't happy about the wedding. Yet another concern.

After all the weddings I'd helped put together, all the reading on wedding advice and how to pull off the perfect wedding, I'd figured out a general breakdown of the payment responsibilities.

After four weddings, I knew this list by heart. However, it shouldn't have mattered to me who paid for what. My only business was making this wedding perfect for my best friend.

Two hours later, we narrowed down the dresses Laura liked to three. Of course, two of them were a little over the budget Edward had established.

Laura tried on the first one; apparently, she was obsessed with strapless dresses. It was a silk wedding dress, white as white could get, elegant, and timeless. It also had an exquisite beading embellishment under the breast that emphasized her waist.

"Oh my God! You look like a princess in a fairytale." Natalie was the first one to make a compliment.

Marisol wasn't far behind. "You look so classy and graceful. You definitely need to choose that one."

Denise just smiled and probably thought of all the things she could buy with the money invested in the dress.

"It's beautiful, Laura," I happily said. "I only have one observation. Do you want people looking at your feet?"

"Why would people look at my feet?" she asked in disbelief.

"Well, I thought that since you'll marry on the beach, you'll go barefoot. Or are you planning on wearing heels in the sand?" I could see in her face that she hadn't considered that.

"I guess not. But I don't like the idea of people looking at my feet. I need a longer dress," she said.

"Or a different train," Natalie added.

"You're right, Natalie," Laura agreed. "Let me go try the next one."

The following dress was made of white satin. It had one shoulder strap that imitated flowers, reaching from her shoulder to under her breasts and once more emphasizing her tiny waist. Its full-length skirt covered her feet with a modified train. It was also the only dress right on budget.

Laura looked completely unsatisfied, probably because the dress wasn't completely strapless like her last selections. The rest of our friends wore equally disapproving expressions. "No," they all said in unison.

At the same time, I said, "It's beautiful."

After several _'are you crazy?'_ looks from everyone, I explained myself. "I think she looks gorgeous. The dress has a beautiful silhouette, and its shape makes her waist almost non-existent. It has the same detail under the breast that she's been looking for, plus, no one will be able to see her feet under its length."

They all stared at me as if I spoke a foreign language.

Denise was the first one to oppose me. "But what about her hairstyle?"

"What about it?"

"She wants to wear her hair loose to show off her new bangs," Natalie informed me. We'd had this conversation before. I knew she wanted to wear her hair down. I simply didn't understand how that had any relationship with that dress.

"You're completely clueless," Marisol said to me. "The one shoulder will mess with that. For this kind of dress, it's be better for her to wear a lopsided bun. We all agreed that her hairstyle should be manageable and yet relay the specialty associated with Laura."

"Okay, sorry," I said, clearly not understanding yet why the dress wouldn't do.

Laura gave me her _poor-clueless-girl_ smile and went into the dressing room to try another piece. This one was truly gorgeous. The simple wedding dress was perfect for a barefoot walk down the beach. It had a lasting beauty yet a casual feel that made it flawless for everything Laura wanted. Its crinkled white fabric had a gorgeous crisscross bustier which tightened up at the back, giving it a nice edge. The full-length skirt draped down to the floor in a beautiful silhouette, extended to a chapel train in the back.

Laura looked breathtaking.

Who cares if it went over the budget by a few hundred? Mouths were covered, tears were shed, and everyone had something to say.

"You look breathtaking."

"This is the one."

"You have to get this."

We hugged her and compliment her, gushing all over ourselves.

"I agree," she said. "This is the one."

A few minutes later we were at the register, and Laura gave the saleswoman _Eddie's_ black credit card. "You're glowing," the woman said after handing her back the card. "You're going to be the most beautiful bride."

The comment made Laura smile, but not me. I'd heard that before. I knew everyone made a similar comment to brides-to-be. I also noticed that the woman's big smile didn't reach her eyes. I knew for a fact that every single wedding-related salesperson said the same.

Nevertheless, if it made Laura happy, I'd remain silent.

It had been a very productive day.

## Chapter 7

"I thought I asked you to respect the budget, Kassandra," Edward angrily barfed at the phone as soon as I answered it. It was easy to know who it was; his name didn't appear on my iPhone's screen, since I didn't have his contact, and then he was the only person who liked calling me by my full name.

"How did you get my number?" I asked.

Edward didn't even acknowledge my inquiry, just continued on his quest. "I trusted you to help me keep Laura under control."

"I did everything I could, but it isn't exactly easy." By now, I would expect him to know that Laura liked spending money. She was the most spoiled of my friends. "Laura's used to getting her way."

"Well then, I overestimated you, Kassandra." There it was—he still always found a way to make me feel like crap. I'd forgotten that. He usually presented me with a challenge, and when I was unable to meet his standards, he made sure I would never forget.

But I wasn't the same girl anymore.

"Whatever, Edward. I just got home. I'd like to rest." I'd had enough of this conversation. I was ready to end it and dedicate the rest of my long Friday night to relaxing.

"Next time, please keep the budget in mind," he reminded me.

I wasn't about to keep my mouth shut. "Next time, stay and tell her yourself."

I hung up.

He needed to grow some balls. So did I.

Why was he calling me at 10:00 p.m. after a long day of dress-shopping to grill me about not staying inside his budget? The worst part was that a tiny piece of me still felt the need to please the guy.

The bastard. I needed to learn to send him to hell.

I went inside my room and undressed. All I wanted was a bath and some rest. Sadly, I was interrupted in the middle of my relaxing wash. My phone rang again some minutes later, and since no name displayed on the screen, I was sure it was Edward again. I was going to let him have it this time.

"You can freaking go talk to someone else about your stupid budget. I've had it with you for the night. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Well, hello to you too, babe," a laughing voice said on the other line.

That wasn't Edward.

"Who's this?" I was done with those mysterious calls. Right there, I decided I wasn't going to answer the damn phone if a name didn't display on my screen.

"It's Josh, gorgeous." _Now_ I connected the husky voice to the person on the line. "I heard Ed talking to you and completely agree that he acted like a dick. I wanted to check how you were doing."

Wow, he was concerned for me. I definitely hadn't expected this.

"Why?"

He laughed again. It was amazing how my body tingled with the sound of his laughter. Not good, really. I had to remind myself once more that he was up to nothing but trouble. "Haven't I said it enough times, already? Because I happen to like you, Kass."

"Well, I'm fine. Thanks for asking." I was more annoyed than fine. It wasn't Josh's fault, but his friend's. However, I just didn't feel like talking about it. "Goodbye, Josh."

"Hey, Kass, wait." This time he sounded serious.

"What now?"

"Would you like to have a drink with me tonight?"

Really? He'd just asked me out on a date? It wasn't that late, but I certainly wasn't in the mood.

"No," was my simple, cutting answer.

"Oh, come on, Kass. I know you need a drink." He was completely right, but I was completely drained.

"I might need one, but I'm tired," I replied.

"Then I can come visit and rub some oil on that rockin' body of yours." Oh yeah, I'd caught that tint of mischief on his voice. He was throwing bait, and he certainly wasn't going to catch me. At least, not tonight.

"No, thanks."

I didn't count on Josh persisting so much. "Come on, babe. You know you want to."

I laughed. This guy just didn't understand the words _not_ _interested_.

"Stop flirting with me. It won't happen."

"I'll stop flirting when it happens. Maybe." He was probably right. The only way for him to desist might be to sleep with me. Afterwards, he'd probably lose his interest.

I wasn't going to play that game. But he'd made me laugh. Somehow, I always seemed to relax near him, and even though we were only talking now, I still felt it.

"What about a little chat, then?" he asked.

This deprived us of any alcohol or physical contact, so, why not?

"Chat about what?"

"Your day," he said.

He wanted to know about my day? That was cute. And easy. Well then, I'd tell him about my day.

"Are you sure you want to hear about it?" I was going to give him one more chance to back down. I still couldn't see a guy like him interested in a wedding shopping spree.

"Very," came his answer.

"It's about dresses. You might get bored." At least I could be honest with him.

"You never bore me." Oh, but he sounded too honest.

"Okay, then. Don't complain later."

Per his request, I told Josh about my day, which was summarized into two words: dress shopping. After we helped Laura choose her wedding dress, we talked to her about the bridesmaid options. We had three colors in mind: pale yellow, turquoise and coral. Very primary-colors-like. Apparently, I was the only one who wanted the turquoise, so I was rapidly ruled out. There was a lot of going back and forth from the yellow to the coral, everyone undecided until one of the saleswomen practically told us that coral would be more visual with the colors of the sea and that yellow wasn't easily worn by anyone. Laura agreed that coral would be a much _happier_ and _elegant_ choice, and that was the end of the discussion. We tried different dresses in that color spectrum and took pictures. We'd drawn the unspoken conclusion that since Laura was all on board with strapless dresses, ours would also follow that rule. While the girls and I left the store promising we'd come back to buy our dresses later, Laura, on the other hand, paid for hers in full.

"I bet you look awesome in blue."

"I bet you look lovely in pale yellow."

"I bet you'll look hot in coral."

Apparently, this was Josh's only contribution to the conversation, but he was making me laugh—a lot. "So you think I look good in everything?"

"Absolutely," he affirmed. "But you know that, right?"

I didn't respond his question. I knew it was rhetorical.

"I bet you look even better naked." Josh paused. "And in my bed."

This was not where I wanted our conversation to go. We needed to have some distance, here. _I_ needed to keep my distance.

"Keep that up and I'll hang up on you, right now."

Then the line went dead.

I'd really had no intention of hanging up on him; I just wanted him to behave. I felt kind of bad, and only a little guilty, when I thought about it. He'd probably lost reception and the call dropped, but I couldn't shake the possibility that I'd finally pissed him off enough with my rejections to make him hang up on _me_ , instead. I'd actually really enjoyed our conversation.

I decided my bath was over. The call had been a very nice compliment to my relaxation time, and now I needed to get ready for bed.

A few minutes later, someone knocked on my door. It was late and I was already in my pajamas, which consisted of multi-colored boy shorts and a white camisole. Usually on weekends, I'd be wearing some sexy set of lingerie and enjoying the company of some glorious hunk. Instead, I'd spent all day shopping with my girlfriends, and I felt exhausted and without energy to go find a man for the night.

I looked through the peephole on my door before even turning on the lights. It was Josh—and this was even more unexpected than the phone call.

As I opened the door, I asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I ran out of battery and I wanted to hear the rest of your story." He stepped inside my apartment and kissed me on the cheek. He looked as breathtaking as he had this afternoon at the bridal boutique.

"That's it?" I asked, blinking back my surprise.

"Yep," he responded.

"Weren't you out someplace?"

"Yeah, I was. Then again, I wanted to hear the rest of the story." Josh found his way to my white couch and sat.

"Just like that." I couldn't believe he was here just because he wanted to know what happened next.

"I was close." Then he reached for me and pulled me to sit next to him.

It took me a moment to sit comfortably. After all, he was completely dressed and I was in my underwear.

"So, what happened after the bridal shop?" He seemed surprisingly interested in my account.

So I continued. It was a little strange, to be honest. But strangely easy.

After saying our farewells to Laura, we carried out our plan to go to Marisol's cousin to get our dresses done. Natalie drove with me and we had some time to discuss _Eddie_ , Laura, and me. She begged me to talk to Laura about it, but I wasn't sure I was ready to do that. But I knew she was right. We finally got to Maria Fernanda's shop, and all of us were mesmerized by her beautiful designs. It was so easy to select a model and the fabric; besides, she was asking peanuts for our dresses and she even gave Denise the option of making small payments a week for hers.

Maria Fernanda was the perfect person to solve our bridesmaid's wardrobe. I only had one complaint. She used one of the phrases I hate the most about weddings: "You'll definitely wear it again _." Girl, I know they're your dresses, but trust me. You never do. Haven't you seen that movie about the girl with the gazillion bridesmaid dresses?_ That single comment started a very heated argument about the whole _'wear the dress again issue.'_ Which was something I had to add to my checklist:

Because no one wants to spend a dime in a dress that they'll only wear once.

Fortunately, our seamstress superstar was the clear answer to that problem. Not only was she asking for a fraction of the cost we'd pay in a boutique in L.A., she also offered to modify the dress after the event so we could wear it again. Apparently, she already had it all figured out with slight changes here and there. She was really going to make some serious business with all of us and all the new customers we'd be sending her way after this.

Unsurprisingly, we were all pretty happy with the result of our trip. We even decided on a wedding gift for Laura that would have her smiling, and we knew she needed it. It had been a really productive day.

"Didn't you ask her to make you that turquoise dress you wanted?" Josh asked after I finished my story.

"Of course." I smiled at him. I liked it that he'd paid attention, apparently serious about getting to know me better. That simple thought made me happy.

I couldn't really remember how it happened, but somehow, Josh and I were sitting at opposites sides of my couch and he was rubbing my feet.

It felt wonderful.

He also seemed to get more comfortable as we continued our conversation. Josh placed his boots on the side of the couch, hung his jacket on one of my winged chairs, and remained only wearing his black jeans and shirt—a very greaser-like mien.

He looked hot.

"Did you get anything for the other events?" How could he be so curious about my dress selection.

"I didn't. But I might go back soon. She had wonderful ideas." I'd thought, during our visit, that I might as well choose a style; she could make me something for the engagement party only a few weeks away. "Maybe get her to make me a dress for the next event." I couldn't avoid yawning at this point. I was really tired, even if it was only half an hour after midnight. It had been a long day.

"Tell me when you do," he requested, continuing his tender ministrations. Now it wasn't only my feet he massaged; he'd moved to my calves as well. His hands were warm and so very soft. It was impressive for a man like him to have such delicate hands. It shouldn't have impressed me that he could be so smooth, but he was. This evening had been full of surprises. I couldn't concentrate in much else as his hands caressed my muscles in a slow, tender motion. "It's always good to know a good seamstress for the girls."

I probably should've made a nasty comment about his womanizer tendencies, but I didn't. I felt so tired and relaxed, I couldn't care less.

"Are you doing some planning for the engagement party tomorrow?"

When I heard his voice, I opened my eyes and noticed that I'd been falling asleep. "Yep."

"Need some help?" he asked softly, his mouth close to my ear.

"Sure." I felt him move from the couch. He was probably getting ready to leave. I did not expect his arms underneath me as he lifted me from the couch. I was so tired, I barely noticed when he placed me on my bed and covered me with the comforter.

"I'll see you tomorrow, babe," he said so very tenderly.

"Good night, Josh."

"Good night, Kass."

And he sealed our farewells with a sweet kiss on my lips.

The next morning, he came back as promised. I was a little nervous to spend more time with him, but he arrived with coffee, muffins, and doughnuts, which I gladly received. I'd invited some of the girls to finish planning the engagement party with me as well, but an hour after the appointed time, I felt hopeless. Fortunately, Natalie arrived a little later, apologizing for her morning sickness and delay.

In a way, it was a good thing that it was just the three of us there that Saturday. Josh helped me explain and reassure Natalie that Edward wasn't the insensible bastard he'd been to me all those years ago—like pushing me to make decisions I hadn't been ready for at the time. That was really beneficial, since I felt now that I didn't have to tell Laura everything right away. I had some time to think about exactly how I was going to do it and what I was willing to share.

We advanced a lot on our planning, too. I had it all mapped out already, but they helped me decide and distinguish some information I needed to discuss with Laura to get her approval before we carried on with the arrangements I envisioned.

It was almost 4:00 when Josh's phone rang. He looked at the screen and frowned before he excused himself, stood up, and answered his phone. "Hi, Mindy. How's everything going, sweetheart?"

He motioned with his hands if it was all right with me if he took the call in my bedroom. I nodded and he left Natalie and me sitting in my living room. Nat was perfectly seated and cross-legged on one of my white winged chairs while I sat on my light, soft carpet and used my big beige ottoman as a table for taking notes as we discussed the main issues at hand.

Traditionally, the bride's parents threw the engagement party. But nowadays, it's more often for the couple getting married to host the party. Unfortunately for me, that meant I had to plan it all. Laura was so terribly _busy_ with other things (such as her wedding gift registration) that it was up to me to plan everything else. So, after handing over the guest list, she basically bailed and left me to fend for myself. Everything was admittedly a bit rushed, seeing as we had less than a month to plan it all. According to my experience, it was best to send the invitations at least four weeks before the event.

We'd completely missed that deadline.

This was what we had so far:

We only had a few things pending.

1. _Go shopping for wine and alcohol._ Josh told me he could do this with Edward so _Eddie's budget_ was respected.

2. _Prepare the venue_. The day of the event, we needed to check that everything was prepared as planned. All our friends had sworn they'll be there early that day to make sure everything went as expected.

3. _Line up to help._ Basically, be there and be ready to aid as necessary.

I had very little left to sort out with Laura (and I basically knew which way she'd go on most decisions, anyways). The rest was mostly already resolved.

Josh came back out of my bedroom. "I'm really sorry, but I need to get going, Kass. I forgot I had an appointment this afternoon."

"No worries. I think we got everything figured out," I said. "Thanks for all your help." I stood up and walked him to the door.

Before he could leave, Natalie stopped us. "And thanks for the food as well," she pitched in. She'd mentioned after her normal lunch time that she was hungry, and Josh had run to get us what Nat craved for the day: cheeseburger and fries.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," he said. "Kass allowed me to join you girls today, so I was given the pleasure of providing you with your meal."

Natalie smiled at him. This time, her smile was different. The sweet smile she always carried had a pixie-ish air as she looked from Josh back to me.

"I'll see you soon, babe," Josh said, placing a kiss on the corner of my mouth.

As I closed the door behind him, I smiled.

"He's hot," said my best friend.

"I know," I replied. "But he's trouble, too."

"Some trouble is worth it," Natalie sang.

I went back to my seat and back to work. I was pleased with everything we'd done today—and even more pleased with the idea of not doing it alone.

## Chapter 8

No, no, no.

This couldn't be happening.

As soon as I entered the elegant country garden we'd selected for Laura's engagement party, I was about ready to have a heart attack.

The place wasn't ready. It wasn't organized. It was a complete disaster.

I walked around the place, looked at every corner, and identified every single detail unready or out of place.

I couldn't breathe. This wasn't right.

I arrived a couple hours before the event started to check that everything was as expected and hoping to sort a few things out, since I'd foreseen that the place might need some arrangements. But not this many. Never this many.

After I finished my short haul around the place, I stepped outside. I needed to breathe. I needed to get my head in order.

There were so many things that needed changing that I couldn't place them in order in my head.

I wrote my friends a quick text:

**Me** : S.O.S. Help guys! Place not ready yet. I need your help a.s.a.p.

As I waited for my friends to reply, I made a mental list of all the things that needed correction:

> Tablecloths were not the ones we asked for

> Center pieces weren't ready yet. Were those even the vases that we asked for?

> The menu stations weren't in the right place

That reminded me:

> Check on hors d'oeuvres

> The band wasn't there yet....

Oh my god! There were so many things, my head wasn't functioning right. None of my friends had replied yet and I really needed someone to help me.

Who could I call?

The answer was simple, really. The only other person who'd been there for me throughout all this was Josh.

**Me** : Josh, sorry to bother you. I'm @ the Garden & everything's a mess. I need help. I can't get all these done on my own.

**Josh** : No worries. What can I help you with?

**Me** : Everything's a mess: tablecloths, flowers, the buffet, the band isn't here. Please, come & help me.

**Josh** : Calm down. OMW. I'll b there as soon as I can. While I get there call the band. I'll send you the deets.

**Me** : Thanks!

As soon as he sent me the band's details, I gave them a call. Josh had hired them as his engagement present for Edward and Laura. Apparently, the band was on their way and stuck in traffic, but they assured me they'd get here fast and they only needed an hour to set up.

Thank goodness.

I finished rearranging my brain and everything needing to be fixed when my so-called friends texted me back.

**Natalie** : I'm @ the salon getting ready. I'll be there as soon as I can.

**Marisol** : Leaving child with in-laws. Might take a while.... I'll try to hurry.

**Denise** : Waiting for hubby to come back from an interview. He took the car. I might not make it on time to help. Sorry!

Great, just great.

They were all getting ready for the party while I was freaking out—wearing sweatpants.

I lived close to The Garden, so I decided to do a little exercise before the event. The plan was to run for a bit on the treadmill, come by the place to check on things (I expected most things to be right on track), and then go back to my place to get ready. Guess that would have to wait.

I was about to go back inside and talk to the person in charge of setting this place up when Josh arrived.

"I'm here. What do you need help with?"

"I was going to talk to the person in charge to get things fixed."

"Great, let's get going," he said, taking my hand, and directed us to the site's office.

After having a not-so-long conversation with the manager of the place, he reviewed everything we'd asked for and gave us his apologies for the inconvenience. Josh basically threatened him to death for not following up on my directions. He told the manager to forget the hell about whatever was written down or not, and I was pretty sure that convinced the man. Immediately, the staff working at the event started rearranging everything around us.

Josh was incredibly helpful.

He supported me in every decision I made and every word I said. If anyone dared to make a face my way or answer with anything less than an apologetic smile, they got hell from him. Plus, once more, he looked like a dream. He was dressed rather informally, but he gave the impression that he'd just stepped out of the cover of a magazine. His wardrobe was really simple, and at the same time, it emphasized all the right places. He wore a white cotton t-shirt with some black and gray female silhouettes printed on the front, black denim pants, and a black blazer. He looked as hot as a rockstar.

I, on the other hand, wore black yoga pants, a neon orange sports bra, and a white tank top. Not exactly the way I planned on looking during the engagement party starting so soon. However, my pants had been really convenient. I was constantly bending over the tables to reach and rearrange the centerpieces. The dress I planned on wearing to the party wasn't made for this kind of practice. So, in a way, my clothes worked out.

"If you keep bending over like this," Josh said as he placed himself behind me while I reached the next-to-last of the floral designs, "I'm going to have to drag you to a dark corner and take care of your teasing little ass."

My pants were so thin, I had no problem envisioning exactly what his body looked like as it pressed up against me. "You wouldn't dare," I said.

"Try me," he challenged me.

"We don't have time for this," I said as I turned around and faced him. The space between us was practically non-existent. He was all over me, and I liked it—to be really honest. But I couldn't do it. Even if Josh proved again and again how he was a pretty cool guy, I knew he was a complication I didn't need. He was interested, all right, but was he interested enough to stop fooling around with whatever woman caught his eye? It was difficult for me to trust him. I wasn't sure my heart could take it again. Edward had been enough. "We have to finish setting the place up." I continued. Besides, we didn't have time for it. We had a wedding to plan.

"Like I fucking care," was his final answer.

What could I say to something like that?

We stared at each other for a few seconds. I found certitude and decision in his eyes. Then he grabbed my butt, and as he squeezed it, he kissed me.

Hard.

I was startled for a second, but I gave in and kissed him back. My body responded completely to the small display of affection. As his hands groped my derriere, I could feel my breasts' need for attention, and in nothing less than a neon bra.

The kiss was quick. Josh ended it by biting my bottom lip. "Go get that beautiful ass somewhere else before I act on my instincts," he said with a slap on my behind.

I didn't even think, I simply followed his instructions as I tried to compose myself. That kiss had meant more that I was willing to admit at the moment.

About an hour before the party started, the place looked as expected. We were a little bit behind schedule, but nothing too noticeable.

Natalie was the first of our friends to arrive. Why had it taken her so long? She'd had an appointment at the salon. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Then again, she always looked nothing less than awesome.

It was hard to stay angry at her when she looked so adorable. The silly girl had chosen a maternity dress even though she only had a small blimp as proof of her pregnancy. She wore an off-the-shoulder gray dress, cut elegantly and demurely to her knees. It had a girly bow underneath her breasts, as if specifically to emphasize her tiny baby bump. The color of the dress complimented her light skin tone perfectly and gave her eyes a silver undertone, making them pop. Her short, platinum-blonde hair seemed carelessly styled, but I was sure there was nothing negligent about it.

"I'm here, Kassie. Sorry I'm so late," Natalie apologized as she hugged me. "Andrik left me at the salon earlier today to get my hair done. When I got your text, I asked him to come pick me up, but he was in a meeting. He's not letting me drive anymore on my own because of my dizzy spells."

I gave her a not-very-nice smile. First, because I would have liked for her to arrive earlier, and second, because her beauty made me feel as big as a roach at the moment. I was so sweaty that I didn't want her to get near me and ruin her appearance.

"Now that I'm finally here, what can I help you with?" she asked.

"There are still some floral arrangements left to get ready and place on the tables. The waiters are working on setting up the tables, and the chef is finishing the hors d'oeuvres. If you could help me with..."

"Josh! Josh! Where are you? I'm here!" Thin as a twig and tall as a tree, a very blonde young woman entered the place, running and holding a suit bag in one of her tiny hands. "I'm sorry I'm so late. The meeting kept getting longer and longer. I came as soon as I could."

"Thanks, honey." Josh greeted her with a smile on his face. "You're a lifesaver."

Twiggy-tall-blonde wore a super tight, short black dress with a pair of black pumps about as long as brand new pencils. Her hair was loose and looked silky; it reached her waist in relaxed curls.

"I'm just happy to be here for you," Twiggy-tall-blonde said.

"Kassie? Are you okay?" Natalie asked me when she noticed I'd tuned out whatever she was telling me. "You were giving me a brief on what was going on before you spaced out. Are the flowers the only thing missing?"

"Sorry, Nat." I honestly didn't know what to say at that moment. "I just... You know what?" Natalie looked at me as if I was about to give her the answer to the creation of the universe. "I really need a shower and would very much like to go home and get ready. Do you mind overseeing everything until I come back?"

"Oh, no! Of course not," Natalie quickly replied. "I totally get it. You don't have much time to get ready. Go home and be back as soon as you can."

"Kassie, Natalie, I'm here. What can I do to help?" Sol had arrived at the crime scene, now. She looked beautiful, too—another good reason to make me feel like crap. Marisol looked really good for the first time in years. Since she'd had her baby, she'd left fashion aside and opted to wear mostly comfortable mommy clothes. Sol picked up a very simple dress—shirt-like, dark red and with three-quarter sleeves trimmed in black. Her crimson heels matched the chemise exactly. Her sleek brown hair was loose and framed her oval-shaped face. It was a really good look for her.

"Kassie was about to leave," Natalie responded. "She needs to go shower and change."

"Good. 'Cause I don't believe Laura's going to let her be a part of the engagement party dressed like that." I hadn't seen Denise come in, and her comment surprised me.

Denise's attire was probably the most youthful and playful of everyone's. She'd chosen a white bodice with a flowing coral skirt, using a wide, black belt as an accent. Her hair was braided loosely at her neck in a flowery shape. I had to admit it was a really cheerful look on her, which made me happy, and I was ready to go dress up myself.

"Great, you're all here," I finally said. "So, I'll go get changed, and you follow on those details I mentioned, Natalie. Josh has been here helping me, so he knows what to do too. Any doubts, just sent me a text. I'll try to take as little time as possible."

After some encouraging responses from my best friends, I decided to part and let them finish up with the last details. I walked to the door, but not without looking back at Josh and Twiggy-tall-blonde. She now held open the suit bag, showing him what was possibly the clothing he'd wear for the party. They talked amicably, smiling at each other, and my stomach flipped at the friendly exchange.

I needed to go.

I needed to get ready.

The party was about to start.

Chapter 9

I did my best to get ready in the least amount of time. To achieve that, I rushed through my hair and makeup. For an elegant, chic look, I held my tresses up in a French twist so my golden-brown curls would display the beautiful silver earrings I wore. Adding some drama into the mix, I fashioned a really dark smokey-eye and kept my lips in a nude tone. I absolutely loved my dress. Maria Fernanda had made it, after all, and in only a few days.

Maria and I had had different ideas in mind for the outfit, but since the beginning, we'd agreed on one thing—you couldn't go wrong with a classic black and white. After that, it all became easier. We just had a minor disagreement on the length and the zone it would emphasize—she said we should take advantage of my booty, but I wanted to show off my boobs. In the end, we agreed on making the dress about the legs. It had a monochromatic palette, aiming for an extra slimming effect on top of the form-fitting cut by using sleek white, gray, and black mismatched panels along its length.

I finally felt like I deserved to stand next to my friends.

When I returned to The Garden, my friends were greeting people at the door. They made a beautiful threesome standing by the portal, smiling and showing how proud they were to be hosting the party.

"Kassie, what a change!" Denise was the first to greet me. "You look awesome, girl!"

"OMG, Kassie! That is the perfect dress for you!" Natalie complimented.

"I guess Maria Fernanda convinced you to emphasize your curves, huh? You look bootylicious!" Sol said, although I wasn't thrilled about her observation.

"This dress isn't about the booty," I reproached. "It's about the legs. I should look leggy-licious."

"Well, girl, with a booty like yours, it's difficult to look at anything else." Leave it to Marisol to make a statement like that.

"Well, thanks. I guess."

"Don't listen to her, Kassie. You look amazing." I could always count on Natalie to defend me.

"Whatever it is, now I feel worthy of standing next to you girls and receiving guests," I stated in order to end that conversation. My backside was a sensitive subject.

"Which reminds me, Kassie," Denise interrupted us, "Laura's been looking for you. She definitely noticed that you weren't here when she arrived."

Oh, great. What now?

Hopefully, she was excited and super grateful that everything was exactly as she'd wanted it to be.

"Oh, sure. I'll go look for her." I left my spot at the door next to the girls and walked inside. Now I could really appreciate its beauty.

The Garden was a really successful spot for events in recent months. When we'd attended Marisol's civil wedding all those years ago, we hadn't imagined it would become this successful. But Laura had her eyes on the place, even if Edward wasn't part of her life at the time. It consisted of a series of terraces surrounded by the most beautiful landscaping. For Laura and Eddie's party, we used the whole place, unlike in Marisol's.

The higher terrace was used as their seating area; in it were an dining table for the engaged couple and two other tables on either side—one held a beautiful, three-tiered fondant cake, and the second held their gifts. Its placement gave them importance and a view of everything happening at the gathering.

The largest central terrace was used as the dancefloor, and around it were tables for the guests and the buffet stations. Overall, the place had an amphitheater vibe, mostly covered by majestic canvasses. Christmas lights hung in almost every tree of the place, and all centerpieces included white floral arrangements and candles at different heights. It felt magical, and I really thought the soon-to-be-married couple must be happy with the results.

As I approached Laura, I noticed how beautiful she looked—really breathtaking. She'd selected a white, satin, heart-shaped fitted mini-dress with gorgeous lace detail all around. The lace covered her arms and back, which was mostly bare, so it didn't look completely like a wedding dress—which was totally what she'd had in mind. She wore nude pumps, and had kept her hair and makeup classically understated. She left her hair loose to show off her ombré highlights, and her face looked angelically natural. Laura was the perfect bride-to-be.

Edward didn't look so bad himself. In fact, he wore exactly what I imagined he would if we'd ever gotten married—a three-piece, light gray suit with a silver, silk tie. I had to admit, he really looked handsome. What I didn't expect in my juvenile fantasies was that he'd wear black leather gloves and dark lenses. That seemed a bit over the top. It reflected his arrogant and overbearing personality perfectly.

"Laura, you look wonderful!" I approached her, looking for a hug that never came.

She just glared at me reproachfully and said, "Why, exactly, are you this late, Kassie?"

Was I hearing correctly?

"I wasn't exactly late, Laura. You must have been misinformed." I didn't know what to say. I was speechless. The last thing I imagined was Laura scolding me after I'd spent nearly two hours running around to make her party perfect.

"Well, I arrived fifteen minutes ago, and you weren't here." She continued, "There were several things that needed correcting. If it wasn't for Josh being here to help out, I have no idea what I would've done."

Josh was here helping? Of course he was! Who did she think had called him in the first place?

I was so angry at him. I couldn't believe he'd used this as an opportunity to place himself as the hero of the day. Sure he helped out—and he did help out a lot—but all of this didn't happen only because of him. Had he not even mentioned my part in it at all?

Now where the hell was he?

"The poor thing didn't even get a chance to go home and change," Laura said as she pointed his way. Josh stood next to one of restrooms available for guests, and Twiggy-tall-blonde struggled with his tie. "He'd be here wearing jeans all night long if his date hadn't brought him his suit. And where exactly were you, Kassandra?" Laura babbled nonstop about how Josh saved the day, all the things that went wrong before the event started, and how I hadn't been here to make it happen.

I was furious.

The moment Josh felt my heavy gaze on him, he turned and looked my way. There was a playful smile on his face, and he absentmindedly made Twiggy-tall-blonde let go of his tie. He then walked our way and joined our little heart-to-heart.

"Oh, Josh! You look incredible," Laura complimented. "You would definitely be on my list if I wasn't already engaged," she added shamelessly.

Edward, as usual, stood boringly next to her.

Josh didn't acknowledge either of them. He kept looking at me and said, "Kass, wow! That dress looks totally sweet on you."

I completely ignored his comment and looked at the door. Laura's parents arrived.

"Eddie, my mom's here," Laura said. "Let's go greet my parents at the door."

"Sure, honey," he replied.

Laura and Edward walked behind me. I could feel Ed staring at my ass. He'd constantly told me I needed to work out to make it look good when we'd dated. Well, I worked out a lot to keep the area in excellent condition. So now, I'd give him the opportunity to look. Later on, I would kick him in the nuts for it.

Josh kept looking at me—or I guess I should say admiring. His gaze held a certain quality of adoration I wasn't used to receiving from him. But I was so angry at him, I wasn't processing that information at the moment.

"Stop staring. It's uncomfortable."

"Sorry, babe. You just look fucking awesome," he said, hungrily keeping my gaze.

"Well, at least you appreciate it. Because apparently, those thirty minutes I took to get me looking like this got me in trouble," I said. He looked really confused. "So, now you're playing dumb?" I wasn't about to fall for his handsome face, his perfect body. He looked unbelievable in his outfit.

He wore an outfit similar to Edward's but without the obnoxiousness. And he looked way hotter. His suit was a darker shade of gray, only a two-piece, with thin silver stripes along the sumptuous fabric. The silk tie with which he still struggled was of the same silver. In all honesty, Josh looked like one of my wet dreams.

"Why would you having gone home to get ready get you in trouble?" he asked. Even his voice sounded genuinely confused.

"Well, I can only assume that _someone_ told Laura I wasn't here to help out during the whole engagement party crisis," I responded simply. I was tired of playing silly games. If he wanted someone to spell it out for him, I could do it.

"I'm not sure I'm following, babe." Josh reached for my hand. "But if it makes you feel any better, I haven't talked to Laura since she got here."

He seemed sincere, so why didn't I believe him?

Someone had to have told Laura that I wasn't here to do my part, and he'd been the only one who'd both shown up early enough to know what had happened _and_ been appointed the 'party hero'.

I took a step back, retrieved my hand from his grasp, and inquired, "So you didn't tell Laura that you did this all on your own."

"Of course not. Why would I? That's a shitty move." Again he looked completely honest. It was really confusing. " _You_ were the only one here all concerned about their stupid, conceited party."

The rage quieted inside me a little, and I felt a bit better about him at that moment. I briefly took the time to give his outfit more credit, which it definitely deserved, looking him up and down for any signs of dishonesty.

Josh eventually noticed my reluctance in believing and stated, "If I had anything my way, we'd be at my place. In bed. Certainly not playing party planner at The fucking Garden."

His total honesty caught me by surprise, and my body prickled as it remembered our earlier flirting. Then he reached for me; it wasn't only my hand this time. He pulled me to him with full force, plastering my body against his in all the right places.

"What do you say, gorgeous? Wanna bail on them?" he whispered in my ear. His hot breath made me shiver.

I wasn't falling for this. I wasn't twenty anymore.

"Shut up," I playfully pushed him back. I really didn't know how he did it. One moment I was ready to choke him, and the next I found him adorable. He was a dangerous charmer.

He gave me one of his alluring smiles, took one step toward me, and entrancingly kissed my cheek. I think he understood I wasn't playing any games tonight. Besides, he had that beautiful blonde with him, and she looked like a handful.

"Do you mind helping me fix this stupid tie?" he asked, slathering on the charm.

He was shameless.

"You were doing all right a minute ago with that girl in the corner who's staring at us," I reminded him.

"Mindy? Oh, no. She's crappy at it, babe. Could you please do it for me?"

That name caught my attention. Mindy. Had he mentioned that name before? I wasn't sure, but it sounded so familiar.

It didn't really matter. I had to get back to my friends and he had to get back to his.

How could I get rid of him without been a total bitch?

"Here, give me a minute," I said, reaching for the hem of my dress and turning a bit so I didn't face possible observers of our little conversation. I lifted it up to reach for my cellphone, which was safely tucked in the black lace garter on my left thigh.

I heard Josh giving a series of forced breaths. It wasn't really my intention to tease him at all; I just needed my phone to help him fix his tie. How-to videos and all. Only after I'd grabbed my phone did I realize reaching for it and showing a bit of leg may not have been the best idea if I wanted to get away.

I stepped back and hid my iPhone's screen from him. I needed a minute to complete the task, and he needed a minute to calm himself down.

"Here," I said. "I found a video on YouTube that explains it all for you. I'm sure you can manage."

He kept looking at me like a starving animal. I was positive I didn't want to be alone with him right now, so I gave him as guilt-free of a smile as I could manage, turned around, and left.

## Chapter 10

I went to the restroom for a minute to myself. It was still difficult to accept that things sometimes didn't go as planned.

After getting here early and arranging everything that had been completely wrong, I went home, got ready for the party, and came back to a place set up exactly as planned. Everything was perfect, from the flower decor to the buffet tables, the band, the waiters, and even the guests. It was a major relief, even if Laura wasn't happy with me and believed I wasn't as responsible as she'd expected. That, I could handle, but not what happened next.

I'd planned and explained to everyone the order of events and how everything should go. Even still, no one seemed to care. At exactly 6:00 pm, I was supposed to open the floor for speeches by welcoming everyone, followed by Laura and _Eddie_ thanking all their guests for their presence. Then, some family and friends were to say their congratulations to the couple.

Needless is to say, it didn't happen like that. At all.

For several minutes, I tried to get Laura and Edward to join me on the main floor to start the celebration, and they completely ignored me. Apparently, they still resented the fact that I _'wasn't there early to help out with the party's details.'_

It was until Denise went to the band and grabbed the microphone that the welcoming started, only then Laura and Edward decided to follow the program. That was how Denise took my place as the event's host. In a way, I was grateful to her for standing up and taking that pressure off my shoulders, but a little part of me still resented her.

Her welcoming words were really fantastic, to be honest, and she looked gorgeous. So in control of the situation. She smiled and maintained her charisma throughout the speech. It was so easy for her to handle an audience now—nothing like the eighteen-year-old Denise who married as soon as she graduated high school.

The transition from Denise's speech to Laura and Edward's speeches went smoothly as well. Of course, Laura said most of their words. It was like watching an Academy Award thank-you speech. She basically thanked everyone in her life for their support to make this all happen. Edward looked handsomely sharp next to her, not a hair out of place nor a crease in his suit. He still wore those ridiculous black leather gloves for some unknown reason; the only things to add to the ensemble were the cane, top hat, and a pocket watch.

After that, their parents gave them their blessings. Natalie and Marisol started crying from simply talking and giving big hugs, and then it was finally my turn to speak. When the mic was handed to me, I had nowhere to run. I felt completely unprepared and, once on the spot, I froze, sensing everyone looking at me. The words I'd prepared were meant to be shared at the beginning of the event, not after everyone else spoke. So I couldn't use those. As a result of the pressure and my own annoyance, I said the only words which came to mind—and I didn't even think.

"When a man steals your last single best friend, there's no better revenge than to let him keep her." And then I smiled at both of them.

Of course, it was meant to be joke which only some people laughed at. But it felt tense. Laura looked tense. Or maybe I was just so tense I couldn't tell. Hoping to redeem myself, I looked at my best friend and said, "Laura is a beautiful woman on the inside as well as on the outside, but she's high-maintenance. _Eddie_ ," I gave a look and a big smile as I addressed him, "I hope you're ready for her, because everything she does is great, big, and expensive." Some more people laughed, and I tried my best to close my words with something positive that made me sound less bitchy. "Take care of her. I love her. She's the best."

I meant every single word. I probably should have kept my speech light and sappy, but I couldn't do it. Edward only stiffened in reaction; he knew exactly what I was saying. Natalie's big blue eyes looked at me in what was possibly shock, but I kept staring fiercely at Edward. I didn't know if anyone else noticed. Then Josh took the microphone from me and I realized what was happening again.

"It isn't easy being a groom, nowadays," he said. "Especially with a set of beautiful bridesmaids to take care of the lovely Laura over here. So, of course my pal Edward had to look for the best man available to help him out."

Josh moved from his place at the very left of the stage to stand between Edward and me before really getting into his speech. "The first thing Ed did was to go to the smartest man he knew." He looked all around the audience and smiled before he continued. "When that guy said no, Eddie asked the most handsome man he knew." He made another dramatic pause and winked at me. "When _that_ guy said no, Ed asked the most popular man he knew." He paused once more and looked at the spectators. "And finally, after being asked three times, I agreed."

People cracked up laughing at his joke, and I even saw Twiggy-tall-blonde clap at his silly recount. Josh shrugged innocently and said, "I mean, _someone_ had to help him out."

He'd managed to keep his speech charming and light. Everyone was smiling now, and people were invited to help themselves to the food. Then the party really started.

I stood there in silence for a minute. I saw Laura and Edward go to their table, Marisol and Denise reunite with their husbands to grab something to eat, how Andrik, Natalie's husband, went to her and ushered her back to their seat—as I stood there all alone. I had no one with me. I had been so busy planning the whole thing that I didn't even consider who was going to be my date for the event. At some point, I thought I could sit with my friends, but I'd completely forgotten that they all had someone. Then I turned to look at Josh and saw him with Twiggy-tall-blonde. Laura had said that Mindy was his date; it was silly of me to pretend that Josh would come to the party without one. Apparently, I was the only one standing solo.

How did this happen?

I haven't been without a date since...since...Natalie's wedding. After I broke up with Edward and got my Masters. And even then, I managed to get hooked up with someone.

Natalie approached me and said, "Kassie, are you all right?"

I didn't answer back. I honestly didn't know what to say.

"Come with me," she added. "Andrik went to get us some food. We saved a chair for you at our table. Marisol and Denise are sitting there too with their husbands. We're all together. Just as you planned it."

"I need a moment. I'll be right back," I said.

I don't know how long I stayed in the restroom, but I knew I couldn't be there forever. I had to go somewhere else before Natalie came back and found me.

Between the restrooms and the open bar, a path of stone steps probably led to a storage room. No one was using it just then, and it served as a great hiding spot. It partially hid among the various plants, which were truly the main attraction at The Garden. It was also close enough to the bar that I could quickly get a drink if needed but far enough that the music didn't disturb me much.

I decided I'd spend some time there to calm down and compose myself before I returned to the party and faced the world smiling.

## Chapter 11

After some time on my own, I did feel better, though I still wasn't ready to return to the party. I decided to stay in my hiding place for a little bit longer.

Sitting there, I unintentionally overheard a private conversation. I really didn't mean to listen, but I had to admit that it was my right to do so, since, in a way, it was mainly about me.

A few people came and went from the bar, and one couple lingered there a little longer than the others. It took me a moment to figure out those voices, but a minute into their conversation I was completely sure it was Edward and Josh.

"Everything seems quite all right for this pompous-ass engagement party of yours," Josh said in an amused tone. "Are you enjoying the spotlight?"

Edward, as usual, sounded bored even as he snorted before responding. "I don't give a shit about the party or the attention. The point is, it makes Laura freaking happy. So be it."

I didn't like his response much, but at least he was willing to please my friend.

Josh didn't seem happy with the groom's response, either, saying, "Well, you should be less of an asshole about it. Everything around you was planned to please that spoiled fiancé of yours, _and_ you, of course. Show some real gratitude."

"I'm paying for all this crap." As always came that conceited, juvenile thought that money bought everything. It was silly, really, especially since he'd shown a bit of resistance to spending too much on the wedding. "There's no reason for me to be fucking thankful," he added. "I pay for a service and I receive it. Simple as that."

"You dick," Josh said. I hadn't expected that. "You aren't paying the person organizing it all, so stop being an asshole and show some real fucking appreciation."

Where was he going with all of that?

If he'd actually spent a long time being Edward's friend, he must have known that the guy didn't do humble—or apologies.

"Sorry, Josh. Am I hurting your fragile feelings?" That sarcasm was all too familiar. "I never knew you were such a pussy."

"I'm not talking about me, you idiot." Josh's kept his voice low and composed, but I could sense the anger behind his words. "I didn't organize all this shit. Kass did. And you know it."

Wow. Josh was actually defending me. I could hardly believe it. Did he actually care that much?

"Kassandra, Kassandra, Kassandra," Edward whined, and for a moment my heart stopped; I thought he saw me. I looked around and reassured myself that I was still safely hidden in the cloistered stone pathway. "Everyone praises that silly girl like she's a fucking genius party planner."

That ass. He so knew I was good at this. He was just too proud to admit it.

"She isn't a silly girl. She's a wonderful, intelligent planner." I thought maybe Josh would have stopped defending me by now, and it surprised me that he hadn't. "Kass planned all this for you. Be. Fucking. Thankful." This time, his tone sounded the exact opposite of friendly and calm.

"Whatever," the groom said, brushing him off. "I'm tired of all the attention Kassandra's getting for doing all this shit. I told Laura you were actually the one getting everything ready all the way up until the party started."

Oh, no, he didn't! He was the one who told on me?

"Wait a goddamn minute. Why would you tell Laura that?" my chivalrous defender asked.

Edward sounded exasperated, as if the answer was self-explanatory. "You respected the damn budget I provided and went with me to get the alcohol. You were the one running all over the fucking place getting this location ready for the idiotic party, not her. I didn't see her. She wasn't here."

Huh, he was still going on about the stupid budget. What about at three o'clock when I was out of the gym and running all around the place trying to sort out everything on my own?

I didn't pay much attention to what Edward told Josh until I heard him say, "She was probably getting that big ass of hers into that tiny cheap dress."

"Shut the fuck up about Kass," Josh all but roared at the same time I jumped out of my hiding place.

They didn't notice me, but I could finally see what was going on. My ears grew hot. Edward looked smug as hell, as usual, and Josh looked furious.

" _She_ planned this, fucktard," he spat, shoving his face closer to Edward's "She's the one who spent her weekends organizing all this shit. She arrived hours before you showed your sorry ass, and she doesn't deserve this crap from you."

Edward simply breezed away from Josh, as if this happened all the time between them. He then stated, "Oh, so that's what this shit is about. You want a piece of that ass?" He gave an obnoxious laugh. "Go ahead and fuck her out of your system. You'll feel better. She isn't even that great of a lay."

"You sorry-ass motherfucker." Josh grabbed him by his expensive grey suitcoat before I realized I was running toward them.

I couldn't stop myself—I had to break them apart. As angry as I felt, I was even more terrified of having a scene in the middle of this engagement party.

"Let him go, Josh," I said.

"Kass...how—"

"Let. Him. Go," I said as clearly and surely as I could muster with all the anger boiling inside me. Josh finally did as I said, and I felt him tense beside me; he wasn't happy with my request.

"See?" Edward said with a sneer. "Even she knows she's not worth it."

I'd intended to stop them from fighting, but I just couldn't help it. I slapped Edward as hard as I could. I never knew I actually had the courage I needed to finally do what I'd always wanted.

"You're a bastard," I told him with all the spite I could summon. "I can't believe I ever had anything to do with you. You never deserved me, and you certainly don't deserve Laura. Don't ever talk to me again. I despise you."

I was thankful that the bartender remained the only witness to our little argument. I was also thankful that I had someone defending me, giving me the courage to defend myself for once.

I turned to my white knight, grabbed his face, and kissed Josh like I may have always wanted. It made my lips hurt a little, but I didn't care. Then I turned and headed for my purse and jacket. This party wasn't for me anymore.

"I'm sorry about that. Ed's a dick," Josh called from behind me.

Why was _he_ apologizing? "Yes, he is." I couldn't agree more, and there was no way I'd say the opposite.

"Apparently, _he_ was the fucker who told Laura I was the hero of the day and not you."

I found it cute that Josh seemed to be making excuses for his behavior, oddly enough, especially since I was the one who'd really acted out of turn.

"So I've heard," I admitted. What else could I say? I grabbed my jacket from the coatroom, made sure I had my purse with me, and headed toward The Garden's front door.

"You heard?" Josh seemed disconcerted.

I stopped walking and turned to face him. "Yes, I did." No point in denying it. "I was right there when you guys started talking." I pointed to the stone stairs. "I heard all of your conversation."

He kept looking at me as if I was about to break, or maybe he thought I was already broken. It took a few seconds for him to say, "I see. And how do you feel?"

Fucking amazing, I wanted to say. But I thought it might be too crude and wouldn't help me feel much better around Josh. Instead, I decided to go with an understatement, "Not good."

"I'm sorry," he said. "He shouldn't have said the shit he did."

I wondered if Josh even realized that he didn't have to keep apologizing.

He didn't have to defend me.

He didn't have to follow and check on me.

He didn't have to ask how I felt.

"Why are you here, Josh?" I couldn't hold back my curiosity any longer.

"What do you mean?"

He seemed completely caught off guard by my direct question, and I had to remind myself that he couldn't see inside my head, after all. I really didn't know what I wanted to hear, but Edward's words kept coming back to me. Maybe Josh only wanted to sleep with me, nothing else—although it seemed like a lot of trouble for only a night of pleasure.

"Do you really only care about getting into my pants?" I asked, bordering somewhere between a pleading glance and a glare.

Josh seemed to relax a bit before he answered me. "You _know_ I do. But not in the way that moron phrased it. I don't want you thinking about it like that."

"You have no idea what I'm thinking," I quipped, trying to get the image of Edward's face out of my head.

"I don't," Josh said quietly. "I wish I had a clue." Then he stepped closer to me and tilted his head. "And obviously you don't know how I feel about you, either."

"Then explain it to me." I didn't try to back away from him this time.

This time he looked at me with different eyes. I didn't see myself broken in them anymore. "I'm insanely attracted to you," Josh said. "So fucking attracted to you. Everything about you completely melts me. And I want more." He gazed intently at me. "Those gorgeous blue eyes of yours. The caramel color of your soft, perfect skin." He raised the back of his right hand to trail it down my cheek. Then he tenderly brushed my lips with the pad of his thumb. "These lips. God, I want these lips all the time. The words that come out of them, so intelligent...so completely you...always finding a way to say the truth without hurting people's feelings."

Josh sounded so sincere that I wanted nothing more but for his words to be true and for my attraction to him be reciprocated.

"And you've got the most perfect body I've ever seen," he added, slipping a hand around my waist and pulling me toward him. Josh tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, then cupped my cheek and bent down to place his lips to my neck. I sighed and could hardly move while he covered my neck and collarbone with slow, hot kisses. His other hand slid down my waist to grab my ass, and his kisses turned from playful to charged with intensity.

He pulled back, stared in my eyes, and said, "You're perfect. Fucking perfect." Then he covered my mouth with his.

At that moment everything felt perfect—his hands all over my body, his gorgeous mouth moving from mine to every available inch of my skin again, the hardness of his body as it pressed against mine. We seemed to mold together.

It was too much.

My senses were in overload.

I needed to calm down before we had sex right here by the coatroom.

While I tried to get some oxygen into my brain, his wandering fingers made their way up my thigh to reach beneath my dress and delicately trace the black lace garter I wore. "This thing has been driving me crazy since I saw it," he confessed. "I want to take it off with my teeth and—"

"Oh, God. Josh, stop." I held his hands with mine and begged him again. "Please stop." I tried to turn away, but he held me in place with his strong hands.

"What's wrong, baby? Tell me what's wrong." For the first time, he sounded agitated. So was I. But his words and actions were tender; clearly he didn't want me to leave.

To be honest I didn't want to leave, either, but I had to remember the reason I stayed away from guys like him. I wanted to believe his words.

"Nothing's wrong," I said. "You're saying all the right things, but it's too much right now."

Josh looked me in the eyes and asked, "You don't want me?"

"I do want you, but...." How could I tell _him_ that as much as I wanted him, I didn't want to end up heartbroken? Not again. "I can't do this right now."

"Why the fuck not?" Josh leaned away from me and finally let go of my arms.

God, I didn't want to be rude or hurt his feelings, but I couldn't just lie to him. "I've seen you with girls. Lots of girls," I said. "I don't want to be played around with."

"That's what this is about?" he asked with a frown. "You think I'll play with you?" His voice lowered when he said, "I want you and only you."

"You've been seeing Mindy, too," I replied, finally letting it out. "I know, so don't try to deny it. She's your date tonight."

"Mindy? You're jealous because of Mindy?" Josh was almost laughing, and his concern seemed to lift all of a sudden.

"I'm not jealous."

"Mindy's my P.A." he explained. "She works for me. So, yeah, I've been seeing her, too. But not in the way I want to see you. Not at all." He took a deep breath and calmly continued his explanations. "We had a meeting today. When I got your message, I left as soon as possible and left Mindy to take notes for me. After the meeting, she brought my clothes. I was supposed to change at the office, but I forgot my suit and she brought it for me. I thought it'd be rude to send her back after doing me those favors, so I asked her to stay and enjoy the party." He looked like he found it particularly difficult not to burst out laughing. "I believe I saw her flirting with the bartender."

I stood there and frowned at him, folding my arms and trying to find something to say. My assumption may have been a little embarrassing, but I'd seen him with so many other young, beautiful women in so many other bars, I still wasn't completely convinced.

He seemed to read my thoughts before he combed his fingers through his hair, exhaled, and asked, "Kass, do you know what I do for a living?"

The question took me off guard. I had no idea what he did, and at the moment, I had no idea what that could possibly have to do with this conversation. "No."

"Well, that's our first problem, babe." He stepped a little closer. The tension in his limbs appeared to be loosening. He'd been clearly worked up but he still tried to get through to me anyways. "I work for a modeling agency. So, yeah, every weekend I go out to trendy places to scout new models. That doesn't mean I fuck around with them."

It felt the color drain from face. Apparently, there actually _was_ a reasonable explanation for his lifestyle. Words completely failed me.

"I won't lie and tell you that I never have," he added, "but I've learned that scouting plus sex is not always a pretty equation."

I had no idea how I felt about any of this; I couldn't think straight. While I was ashamed of and embarrassed by my own assumptions, he seemed a little upset about them under his attempt to keep it lighthearted.

"I don't know if I have anything to say," I told him. Apparently, that wasn't what he'd wanted to hear, and I saw the anger flash behind his eyes.

"It's not like you've been saving yourself, Kass," he said, sounding way more upset than I'd expected. "We met in the first place because you were at all the same bars, doing all the same things I did. Looking for someone to take home with you. None of that has made me think any less of you, and I don't see why you should think any less of _me_ for it, either. I suggest you figure out how to look past whatever it is you've thought of me before, because I think I've made it pretty obvious that I actually want a relationship with you, not just a fuck."

I was speechless again, feeling like I'd just been run over by a train.

Josh stared at me for a few seconds, then gave me a pained frown. "Still have nothing to say?"

I literally could not find my voice.

"Goddammit!" he said through clenched teeth, then turned around and walked away from me.

I was astounded by his reaction, but I only had myself to blame. Everything he'd done had been in reaction to how I'd handled things. And I'd pushed him too far.

## Chapter 12

Without telling anyone, I left the party; there was nothing keeping me there. When I got to my apartment, I sent a message to my friends, telling them that I felt sick and asking them to excuse my sudden departure.

Laura called me the next day. After quickly asking me how I felt, she told me how wonderful her party had been and how much everyone had enjoyed it. I was happy for her, really. She was my best friend, after all.

I realized I needed to find a way to let her know that I'd had a relationship with her husband-to-be while I'd lived in Boston, but I had no idea how to do it. After several minutes, her conversation gave an unexpected twist. She claimed to be concerned about me, that she'd seen the stress getting to me, and she confessed it might have been because of all her wedding preparations. Then she informed me that Denise had stepped up after I left the reception, saying she thought it would be great if we both worked together to prepare the rest of the events.

Wow. I was speechless.

I hadn't asked for anything more than my friends' help since this whole feat started. Only one of them had helped, and that had been Natalie despite her morning sickness and dizzy spells. Now, apparently they were commenting on my seeming inability to do it myself and had decided that Denise should help me out.

It was great, really, not because I couldn't do everything on my own, but because I was definitely relieved to have some of the burden lifted from my shoulders.

So preparations for the bachelorette party started.

Most of it included Natalie, Denise, and me; Marisol seldom showed up.

Laura decided we all needed to have a chat to be in constant communication for the rest of her wedding preparations She called the chat: _'Eddie + Laura = Love.'_ For real. The group's picture profile was a selfie of Edward and her in a passionate kiss—she looking sexily at the camera, of course.

How more high school could we get?

We really didn't use the chat very much at all. At the beginning, Laura shared with us pictures of Bora Bora and the resort where the wedding would be held. After the first few days, she stopped commenting. Denise continued Laura's trend of sharing pictures, but in this case they were mostly sex toy pictures in preparation for the upcoming bachelorette party. Her ideas for the party we were throwing in Vegas were funny and a bit wild; I kinda liked them. It surprised me that Laura agreed to have all of these things going on, but, then again, she and Denise had also been in constant contact. I guessed she wanted something Vegas worthy.

Besides Edward's and Laura's infrequent posts—Laura actually just sent messages under Eddie's name "for him"—the best man posted _'hello'_ once, and that was it.

I wasn't willing to admit it, but I did miss Josh. I missed his showing up at my place with coffee and doughnuts and his insight while planning all the wedding preparations. Now that more of my friends were involved, it was easier for me to push him out of my mind and concentrate on Laura's nuptial needs.

Thanksgiving and Christmas passed. I couldn't believe how quickly time flew. I also couldn't believe that it was New Year's Eve and I didn't have a date. I didn't want to think much about it, but the last time I'd had a 'date' was the day Laura called me to tell me she was getting married. I wouldn't do the math, but I knew it was a long time.

Regardless of me being dateless, I had my pick in parties to attend. Several of my clients invited me to their business' New Year's events. There was one in a really nice, trendy location, so I picked that one.

Without thinking much, I got ready for the celebration, deciding to wear a simple, black, sleeveless palazzo jumpsuit. I didn't accessorize much—delicate platinum-and-diamonds hoops and a thin silver belt to emphasize my waist. My pumps were black and nine inches tall, of course. And to finish my ensemble, I chose a white blazer with a heavy, silver, embroidered detail on its rectangular-shaped lapels. The sleeves were only three-quarter-length, and they too were adorned with the lapel's detail on the cuffs. I left my hair down in a curly, messy look, giving my attire a bit of a rock-and-roll effect. I decided to add that to my makeup. It was New Year's, so why not be a little dramatic? I felt good, and I was pretty sure I could manage to get to know someone a little bit and finally put an end to my dry spell.

The new year party held by my client was a total blast. People had so much fun, drinking and dancing all over the place. Moet was offered in every corner, followed by any other cocktail and beverage for those who wanted a different poison. All around, everyone laughed and enjoyed themselves. Everyone but me.

After I arrived, I went straight to my client, Mr. Spencer. He was a twenty-three-year-old entrepreneur with an excellent eye for economics. We talked for a long time, and the conversation was actually rather interesting. Even if his eyes weren't light in color, his hair was. He reminded me too much of the type of man I'd set for myself, but we were having fun. Then he got a little too touchy-feely. Right then, I decided it was best I excused myself and roamed about the party instead. Getting too comfortable with Spencer wasn't going to be good for our business relationship.

Thirty minutes later, I decided I'd leave. It was almost eleven and still early, but I was done with the party and the whole single-girl situation. Guys were hitting on me, all right, only I wasn't interested. I'd rather be at one of my friend's houses than at a party full of people I didn't care about at all. I might try Natalie's house. She was hosting a party in her place with both her and her husband's families. I knew I was welcome there; she _had_ invited me, after all.

I went to my car, unlocked it, and turned on the engine. I definitely felt a little relief after getting out of that place. Why didn't that scene appeal to me anymore? Was I getting too old for it?

I didn't have the chance to get too deep into my feelings and thoughts because I almost lost control of my car when one of my tires went flat. Unfortunately, I was closer to downtown L.A. than to Natalie's house, so it was time for those expensive extra car services I paid for to do their job and get my butt out of this mess. I totally hadn't counted on all lines being busy, and I gave up after ten minutes of being on hold. Apparently, a lot of people were using such services tonight.

So I did the only thing I could think of—I sent a message to my friends to see who could come to my rescue. I decided to use the wedding chat, since they were all on there—killing more than two birds with one stone.

**Me** : Hey, guys. Sorry to be a burden. I got a flat tire and I'm in the middle of Hollywood Fwy close to exit 11B. Can someone come help me out?

Sadly, as expected, no one answered my S.O.S. They were all probably busy with their different engagements, enjoying their night.

I kept trying to get in touch with my road support, completely unsuccessful. I seriously considered calling a cab and getting myself home. The highway felt peculiarly lonely, most likely because it was New Year's Eve and just before midnight. Then my cell phone beeped out its text message alarm.

This message didn't come from the group chat.

**Josh** : Did you get anyone to help you out?

**Me** : No. Guess they're all busy. I've given up on waiting for road support and I'm calling a cab to get myself home. Thanks, anyway.

**Josh** : Hold on a sec. I'm close. Be there in 5.

**Me** : That's all right. No biggie. I don't want to impose. I'll be fine.

**Josh** : OMW. Stay put. 2 min away.

**Me** : Ok, Thanks. I'll wait.

Before I could think of anything else, a red Challenger parked behind my car. A dark silhouette exited the fancy sports car, and I easily recognized Josh. As he approached, I got out of my car and took a moment to breathe him in. He looked gorgeous.

He wore a very interesting mustard coat which covered his dark outfit underneath—a black and gray scarf tied up in European style around his neck and a dark fedora hat, making him look movie-star striking.

"Vixen can't change a tire?" he asked, followed by, "Afraid you might break a nail?" I looked into his deep gray eyes. Something I couldn't place boiled inside them. "Want me to google a _'how to'_ video and send it to you so you can learn?"

To be honest, I didn't know why he was being so vicious with me. I clearly remembered how well things hadn't ended between us the last time we'd seen each other; but, had it been enough of a reason to make him behave this way?

When he stepped closer to me, he gave me a shy smile, changing my perception. Maybe he wasn't being heartless with me; maybe it was just his sarcasm. I knew him well enough now to know he had a dark kind of humor, and realizing this reminded me how bad I felt for the way things had turned out at Edward and Laura's engagement party.

" _Vixen_ knows how to change a tire. _Vixen_ doesn't have a jack," was the response I gave, just to lighten the mood.

What was he thinking? I was a single woman living in L.A. Of course I knew how to change a tire. Regretfully, I'd lent my jack to one of my dates around six months ago and never saw it again. Couldn't really complain, though, because I never saw that man again, either.

"Well, Vixen's lucky. I have a jack she can borrow," Josh told me as I looked in his eyes again, trying to decipher his mood. He leaned against my BMW Coupe before he asked, "Now the question is, is Vixen changing the tire?"

"I don't really care." I didn't mind doing the job on my own, but the new nickname he'd given me had started to get on my nerves. "But can you please go back to using my name?"

"Sure, Kassandra."

Well, it wasn't _Kass_ or _babe_ , as he used to call me, but it was better than _vixen_.

"Thanks," I said as I leaned next to him alongside my vehicle. "I don't mind changing the tire on my own if you lend me your jack. If you have to go back to whatever party you were at, it's okay." He tilted his head and looked at me, probably deciding if I was bluffing or not. "Can I borrow it, please?"

"Don't be silly, Kassandra. I can help you out." He turned and walked the short length to his classic American muscle car. I followed him to get the tool, completely unable to gauge how he felt. I myself felt uncomfortable, tense. It wasn't right. I'd always felt so at ease with him around and I wanted to mend things between us. I didn't want that invisible distance to be a barrier in our relationship. Even if it was only supposed to be friendly.

Josh looked around in his trunk to find the much-needed device. I reached for his hand and stopped him. "Wait," I said.

He looked back at me. I was sure I saw doubt behind his eyes, like he wondered why I stopped him instead of getting the deed done so I could leave. "I don't like this," I told him honestly. The uneasiness around him drove me crazy.

"I don't understand," Josh pointed out as he crossed his arms.

"This. How we are," I tried to explain, apparently without much success. After a second of silence, I tried again. "We need to talk first."

Josh just looked at me. I reached for one of his hands, getting him to uncross his arms so I could get some strength from his warm touch. I breathed in and finally said what I needed to say. "I'm sorry."

It wasn't enough. Even if his stance was a little more relaxed and I felt like a huge weight lifted from my body, I needed to apologize correctly. "I...I'd assumed things about you with the little information I knew about your life, because I'm afraid to have more than a fling with anyone. I've told you this. That fear just got worse when I found out you and Edward are friends, and I turned you into everything _he_ represents in my past. I wasn't fair. I'm really sorry."

"Thanks," was Josh's only verbal response. He stood beside me, unmoving as a statue. Even if his body displayed all the beauty and strength inside him, I couldn't reach him. Josh had always made himself approachable to me, but now it felt different—he felt different. Guarded. Distant. I realized, sadly, that this must be how he perceived me all the time. I didn't like this invisible distance between us, because as close as we were, it felt as if his heart was miles away from mine now.

After a few seconds of staring at each other in silence, he finally added, "You should give Ed a chance, too. He's changed."

I hadn't expected _that_ request, giving him a lopsided smile as I remembered the conversation they'd had about me.

"I know what you must be thinking, but he _has_ changed," Josh said, as any good best friend would. "He _was_ a player. We both were. But now, he's so in love with Laura, and I—"

I shook my head, saying "You heard what he said about me. It's a little difficult for me to accept that Edward's changed."

"I know," he accepted. "I also know him. He was being territorial."

"I'm not his for him to be territorial over me."

"No, you're not," Josh agreed.

We just stared at each other; neither one of us wanted to agree to disagree. Admittedly, I was most likely being the stubborn one. I was barely patching things up with him now; I wasn't about to risk making him upset with me again. I could only feel my own breathing and hear his. Then, in the darkened background of the sky around us, fireworks splashed through the blackness, announcing the arrival of the New Year.

It was the last night of the year, and for the first time in my adult life, I wasn't at some party having fun and kissing guys.

"It's midnight," I announced.

"Yeah, it is," Josh agreed, turning around to see the colored sky before us.

I didn't want him to look away. I wanted him to look at me. Only me.

"Happy New Year!" I said with little excitement in my voice, as I launched my body toward him in a big hug. I definitely acknowledged that all I'd been waiting for was an excuse to touch him.

For several seconds, I felt his warmth against mine. My traitorous body had given away the profound feelings I realized I had for him as it molded to Josh's in our embrace. I looked up at him and the fireworks reflected in the silver of his eyes.

Our gazes locked before he closed his eyes and lowered his lips to mine. His kiss was sweet and full of emotion, stirring sensations in me I didn't know I had.

My hands went to his shoulders. Moving up to the hair at the nape of his neck. His hands went inside my coat and around my waist to remain on my lower back, where his fingers tentatively massaged me there threatened and to move lower.

All good things came to an end. A loud horn, some laughter, and a, "Get a room," scream awakened us from our short interlude.

Josh cleared his throat and I lowered my hands to place them at my sides.

"Probably not the best idea," he said, hugging my waist with his left hand as his right tucked some of my curls behind my ear.

"Probably not," I agreed. Even if I wasn't sure. I knew perfectly well that I was the one keeping our relationship from going anywhere, but the idea of not having Josh in my life really upset me. "Friends?" I asked tentatively. Hoping for the best.

It took a minute for Josh to answer me. "Sure, friends."

I thought I saw some brittle, broken look behind his eyes. I didn't understand.

He didn't let me get a closer look before he quickly took my hand and said, "Let's change this tire so you can get home safely."

## Chapter 13

The third Friday of February had arrived, and with it, Laura's bachelorette party. As instructed, all the attendees showed up at the Beverly Hills Hotel at 10:00 am sharp, where Edward and therefore Laura were staying. Denise's instructions had been to wear a colored tank top, a comfortable, short black skirt, and _'fuck-me heels.'_

That's right, Denise was a little too excited for my taste—at certain moments, even more so than Laura, which could be a bit concerning in my opinion. Still, I was really glad she was enjoying herself. The party's theme was 'pink and black lace'. Absolutely everything about the party stuck to that theme.

She received us with pink Piper-Heidsieck Bodyguard Rose Sauvage Champagne, courtesy of the groom, followed by a 'sexy bitch bag' containing a red-pecker lipstick, strawberry lube, several colored condoms, a candy g-string, and, most importantly, a customized rhinestone t-shirt. All ten ladies going to Las Vegas to celebrate Laura's last night out with the girls received theirs. The other five celebrating with us were Laura's ex-sorority friends, and their shirts read _'Bride's Entourage'_. Ours read _'Bridesmaids'_ , and Laura's said _'Bride.'_

Certainly, the most interesting writing on our clothes wasn't what it said in the front, but on the back. Laura's said: _DIVA—likes to take if from behind_ ; Natalie's: _PRUDE—likes to get loud_ ; Marisol's: _BITCH—likes to get drunk_ ; Denise's: _SLUT—likes to swallow_ ; and, well, mine read: _WHORE—likes it hard and fun_.

It was difficult not to get offended, but I knew the idea was to play the game. I was totally on board for a little distraction. Laura seemed to be the one enjoying it the most, which was basically the main idea. To be honest, Natalie looked hilarious; not only was her face completely red, but her baby bump made a statement of its own under her shirt. She was seven months pregnant and had gained ten pounds. Completely not fair. If I ever got pregnant, my butt would most likely get so big that it'd need a bed of its own. And, why would I suddenly be thinking about babies?

After finishing a couple of bottles of champagne, we were ready to have some fun. Denise arranged transportation to and from the airport. We left for the airport to take our flight.

An extremely ostentatious pink limo hummer with a banner that read _'Bachelorette on board'_ was there to pick us up from our terminal. The interior of the vehicle was equally ridiculous. It had black and pink leather interiors, a karaoke and a wide-screen, a mini bar with multiple beverages (including more Piper-Heidsieck), some bread, fruit, and Denise's naughty touch—penis-shaped cupcakes and cookies.

The trip to our hotel felt short and certainly entertaining. I didn't know much about the women coming with us, certainly not as much as I did my girls, but I soon learned they all were married. Laura and I were the only 'single' ladies of the bunch.

The objective of a Bachelorette party was for the bride-to-be to have one more night with the girls before tying the knot. Its concept had changed over the years, but whatever the decade, it was all about girl talk, getting drunk, and maybe getting jiggy with the stripper.

Nowadays, the most trendy bride-to-be celebrations were:

And, well, we might have done a little of all of them.

I was pretty proud of Denise, to say the least. She had mainly planned everything on her own. She came to me when she needed some advice and talked to Laura to see if she was on board with her ideas. It had been really nice and it gave us all time to get together and bond in a very different way. I was also thankful for the brief respite. It had given me time to talk more to the wedding planner in Bora Bora about what Laura was expecting during the rehearsal and wedding reception. The beginning of the year was incredibly busy in my line of work, especially if I wanted to leave the month of June free for vacations.

Laura inconsistently attended our gatherings, like Marisol. Although I understand that with her toddler it was difficult for Marisol to stay tranquil for more than an hour. We shared several meals together as in old times. Sometimes, Edward showed himself briefly, nodding a greeting at me before picking up Laura. I had to get over the image I'd concocted of Edward in my head and give him a little break. So I greeted him verbally and was courteous, as much as I could be. I wanted to show Josh that I'd grown, too.

Josh.

After our New Year's encounter, he had brought us lunch every Saturday. I had a feeling that Natalie was behind it somehow, because everything he brought was exactly what she craved at that moment. Only once, I convinced him to stay. It had been so nice to have him close. He even saw a movie with us that day, _My Best Friend's Wedding_ , a chick flick, no less. He'd sat next to me and allowed Natalie and I to snuggle next to him as Julia Roberts made a mess of Cameron Diaz's nuptial plans. Funny how much Cameron reminded me of Natalie.

Natalie made faces at me the few times Josh was near. I wish I could explain to her just how badly I'd messed things up with him. She knew the whole story, of course, but she disagreed with me completely. Still, she hadn't been there and she couldn't understand everything that happened between us from October to December.

No one did. Not even me.

When we finally arrived to Vegas, our rose extravagant ride left us in our hotel at The Palms. We had reserved a two-bedroom suite for us, counting on Laura sleeping in Edward's suite once he arrived. Apparently, he'd have his bachelor party the next day in Vegas, too. We also counted on her sorority friends riding back in the limo later that evening.

As soon as we arrived, a lady from the hotel's personnel greeted us and took care of our luggage. Denise placed a tiara with a white veil attached to Laura's hair, complemented by a pink sequin bachelorette sash that read, _'Last fling before the ring.'_

Thankfully, we were immediately guided to the best of the hotel's restaurants. I was starving, and if we continued drinking as much as we were, it wouldn't take long for us to get trashed before the party really started.

After our brief meal, Denise gave us the details of our getaway. There was going to be a scavenger hunt. The idea was for us to wander around the hotel to get as many of the objectives listed in the hunt throughout the day to win a prize. A private room near the bar would be our base. There, we'd have karaoke and a DJ for added fun and to burn some calories dancing. Later in the early evening, a 'passion consultant' would join our party to give us applicable sex advice. We were going to play some party games like 'quiz the bride', 'drink if...' and a few others I'd never heard of before. And, of course, there was a special surprise before the gathering ended.

I could only imagine what Denise had in mind—stripper for sure.

And so the party started.

## Chapter 14

Everything felt so soft around me. It was so nice and quiet that I didn't want anything to disturb the delightful feeling. I hadn't felt so warm and relaxed in a long time.

I felt movement next to me and realized I needed to move my own body. Where was I?

Oh, right—Laura's bachelorette party.

They were all a little foggy, my memories of the night.

I knew we'd played games—lots of games. I also remembered the 'passion consultant'. When one found out they already practiced most of the tips a 'passion consultant' gave in Vegas, one tended to discover they must be _amazing_ in bed. Had there been a stripper? I remembered dancing with _someone_ , and shots—lots of shots. In a neon pink, penis-shaped glass.

That I clearly remembered. All the drinking. Oh, God, I'd had a lot to drink.

Surprisingly, I didn't have the hangover which usually followed. Unusual, but welcome.

The body next to me stood and moved around the room. I wasn't scared this time, because I knew it was Natalie. We'd rented a premier guest room with two queen beds. Then again, why had Natalie slept in my bed? Had the hotel messed up and given us one king bed?

I opened my eyes to the very dark room. It wasn't easy, but I knew there was a lamp beside me, so I turned it on.

"Oh, thanks. I couldn't see a thing," a husky, male voice said pleasantly.

Shit. That wasn't Natalie. When I turned toward the voice, I found a very naked Josh standing at the foot of the bed.

Oh my God.

I wasn't sure if I was more surprised by what had apparently happened between us or by the proof that he had the most gorgeous body I'd ever seen. With a full hard-on on display. Wow!

After looking at him for several moments, assessing every ripped muscle, my hands automatically lifted the white comforter covering my body.

Naked. I was naked, too. Double shit.

I covered my nakedness and sat as best I could, covering my face with my hands.

"Are you feeling sick?" he asked. "I gave you some Motrin before we went to bed last night." He came back toward my side of the bed. "I have some more, in case you need it. I left it on your nightstand with a glass of water." He lifted a big crystal glass of cold water. "You should probably have some."

I stopped looking at the white comforter; it wasn't giving me any answers. I would probably get more insight from the naked divinity standing next to me and who offered me something to quench my thirst.

Josh was close. Too close. Man, his body was so tempting. I took the water he held out for me and drank it all. He patiently waited, then offered me another Motrin.

Since I didn't know what to do, I took it and asked, "What happened last night?"

"You don't remember?" I shook my head as I swallowed the pill. "Figures. You got completely trashed."

I knew _that_. I didn't need him to clarify that bit. "How did we end up together last night?" That was what I really wanted to know.

"Well, babe, I really don't know much of what happened at that bachelorette party, but at some point, you and Laura had some sort of argument."

With his words, a few images came to mind. I remembered Laura getting upset because I'd won all those games Denise had made us play. However, none of that explained how I'd ended up with Josh.

"Apparently," he continued, "you left the party and went to the bar next door. Natalie tried to convince you to come back, but you didn't want to know anything about Laura or her party...."

As I listened to his explanation, my eyes wandered around the room, scanning its contents. The room looked beautiful enough—elegant, modern furniture, posh chairs in rich colors, and a vast window stretching from floor to ceiling and wall-to-wall, covered by an affluent drape. It was impressive, but what impressed me the most was how it was peppered with our clothing.

Everything I assumed we'd worn yesterday now lay scattered across the room. To add to all the information I currently digested was the fact that we were both naked. I could only assume we'd had sex before passing out, but I had no other indication, and Josh wasn't giving any away. In all honestly, I had a hard time concentrating in anything besides his body. His perfect, sculpted body, and that massive stiffy he didn't seem to notice.

Josh didn't mention anything about how we ended up naked—not even anything close to having sex. Maybe we hadn't done anything. Yeah, sure. As if I was going to resist him under yesterday's conditions—drunk, horny, and alone with him—everything I needed to make my nightly fantasies of him a reality.

"Anyway, I'll get ready in this giant walk-in closet," Josh informed me. "Your friends should be here soon for breakfast."

Apparently, Josh had gotten my suitcase from Natalie's room at some point during the night. I was really thankful for that. After getting ready, he gave me some privacy to compose myself and prepare for my friends' arrival.

He informed me that Edward and Laura had a room in the villa which he'd rented to celebrate Eddie's bachelor party, so they were close by and they knew I was staying here with them. Natalie knew it, too. I wondered if Marisol and Denise knew about it, but it didn't really matter at this point. They all probably thought that I was extremely attracted to Josh and had just chosen to deny it.

After I inquired about why they were coming to have breakfast at his suite instead of going to a restaurant, he told me that the room came with a chef, a butler service, and a full bar. It was easy guessing that Laura wanted to take full advantage of all those amenities. Later, I learned that this suite of his was the One Story Sky Villa at The Palms—probably the best luxe room the hotel had to offer.

It didn't take long for the girls to arrive. Natalie, as sweet as always, had prepared some bachelorette hangover kits, which she passed to all of us. I had to admit, the girls all looked pretty good; I was probably the only one who's gotten that trashed.

Laura and Edward enjoyed the cantilevered pool which extended from the balcony while the rest of us had breakfast at the table nearby, enjoying not only the wonderful food but the impressive view of The Strip.

Josh was a wonderful host, offering us beverages, fruit, and a tour of the villa. My friends and I definitely appreciated his charisma and good nature. He was a complete charmer, and I still couldn't believe that I didn't remember the night I'd spent with him. He even called reception so my friends could check out from their own rooms without leaving. They'd brought their luggage and were ready to leave whenever our ride arrived.

In a few hours, we were about to leave Las Vegas and go back home to L.A. Before we left, I reserved a pamper day at the spa for all our friends in Laura's name. We were going to indulge in manicures, pedicures, massages, and the like. I believed we all deserved it. Drift Spa and Hammam waited for us with champagne and raspberries.

It was definitely the girl-bonding time we all needed.

They were probably going to drive me crazy with all the questions they had about my night with Josh, but I didn't mind. We needed the chat.

That reminded me I needed to get my things ready to go back home before we left. I went back to Josh's room—he'd turned the main room of the villa over to the future groom and bride—to get my things together without noticing he'd followed me.

"Are you repacking your luggage, babe?" Josh asked as he stood in the doorway.

"Well, yeah. We don't have much time after the spa to get ready to leave. We'll probably grab a late lunch and head back home."

"Laura's staying, though."

I already knew that; we'd all discussed it over breakfast. "Yep. She said she wants to be a part of Edward's bachelor party. Silly, if you ask me, since he wasn't involved in hers." My best guess was that she wanted to make sure he didn't fool around with any stripper. If Laura knew him as I did, she'd know how he liked to play around. "But, well, Laura usually gets what she wants."

He chuckled as he approached me and sat on the bed next to my suitcase. "Apparently you don't remember, but Ed was definitely at Laura's bachelorette party." Yeah, he was right. I didn't remember. "It was a little before you left the party."

Another reminder that I didn't recall most of the party or the night. "Well, that's okay. I guess. If it's what they both want," I replied, shrugging off his comment. I didn't like the fact that he had more information than I did.

"I might have been part of the party, too," he added. "If I wasn't taking care of you at the adjoining bar, that is."

"Yeah, well, sorry about that." I walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the counter, retrieving my makeup and toiletries.

"Don't be sorry, Kass. I loved spending time with you last night." I could hear Josh moving around behind me, but I didn't want to turn around to see what exactly he was doing. "I'm sure you would too, if you remembered it."

He must think I'm the worst. We probably had sex last night, and I remembered zilch about it. If I could remember just a tiny bit... It must have been good.

"Which is what brought me here in the first place," Josh said as he brought me back to the present. I felt his hands on my waist and his body behind mine. I raised my head and saw our reflection in the mirror before me. His eyes fixated on mine through the looking glass. "What if you stayed tonight and came to the party with me? As my date."

"Go to Edward's bachelor party with you." It actually sounded more like a question. I didn't know how I felt about attending Eddie's bachelor party, much less now that he was with Laura.

"As my date," Josh confirmed.

"Are girls even allowed to the party?" I had the idea they were going to a strip club.

"Laura's going."

"Laura's the bride."

"You're the Maid of Honor," Josh added, as if that position gave me the right to follow Laura around as it pleased me.

I turned around and looked him in the eye. "Is Eddie going to be okay with this?"

Edward and I weren't on speaking terms, not since the engagement party.

"He is." I looked doubtfully into Josh's eyes and he added, "If he's not, we'll go somewhere else."

"You're ditching your best friend's bachelor party to go on a date?" It was a silly idea, especially knowing how tight they were.

"No," he answered with an air of certainty. "I'm throwing away the opportunity to go to a bachelor party to spend time with you, Kass."

Oh. "That's sounds nice." The words left my mouth before I even had a chance to process my thoughts.

"It _will_ be nice. I promise." Then his lips closed on mine.

Once again, I acted without thinking and kissed him back. I loved how it felt; his lips were soft, and mine molded perfectly against his. Then his hands were under my shirt and cupping my breasts before my brain even registered what was happening.

Josh lifted me in his arms, and my legs automatically closed around his waist, the inside of my thighs pressing against him as his hands groped my ass. He carried me to the end of the bed, turned to sit, and placed me in his lap. I couldn't keep from exploring every inch of his muscular arms with my hands as he massaged my tights. I felt him get hard beneath me; nothing was stopping us now.

"Kassie, the butler's back here waiting for us to get ready for the spa," came Natalie's voice, but my brain decided that whatever she'd said was unimportant. "You're the only one missing. Oh! I'm so sorry." She sounded like she stood in the doorway. "I didn't know...I didn't mean.... I'll wait for you guys outside." Yeah, Josh and I hadn't intended on jumping each other, so of course we'd left the door open.

We stopped kissing to look at each other and crack up laughing. "It's a date, then," I confirmed.

"Yeah, babe. It is." He spanked me, and I jumped off him to go look for my friends.

## Chapter 15

Spa day was a dream. We totally drifted into complete relaxation. When we first arrived, we made some jokes and relieved a few silly moments of Laura's bachelorette party during our mani-pedis. During the massage, we relaxed so completely that I think most of us fell asleep.

It was exactly what I needed. My brain still worked hard trying to remember what had happened last night with Josh. I remembered some, especially the part when he'd come to my rescue at the bar, drank shots, and danced with me. After that, I couldn't remember anything. The next thing I knew, I'd woken up next to him in his room, naked.

The girls didn't pry much. Natalie kept giving me knowing glances that only made me more upset about not remembering my night, although she was probably the one enjoying her massage the most. Anyone could see the goofy smile on her face. I had to remember that she needed pampering the most, as she'd just entered the last trimester of her pregnancy. I also had to throw her a baby shower. She really deserved it, and now that she'd been helping me out so much with Laura's wedding preparations, I could pull it all together.

Marisol and Denise seemed uninterested in anything other than their own relaxation. We all deserved the masseuses' kind ministrations. Laura talked the most, first about the highlights of her bachelorette party and then about the bachelor party we were to attend tonight. I wasn't at all interested in Edward's bachelor party, but I had to admit that I was excited about my date with Josh.

After finishing our Spa Day, we accompanied the girls for a light lunch. As soon as we finished, Josh brought down their suitcases and we saw them depart for L.A.. In a sense, it was a shame they weren't staying. We needed more weekends like this one. Granted, I didn't remember much of last night's events, but I'd immensely enjoyed our morning together. We could make a spa date once a month—girls only.

It was early afternoon by the time Laura, Josh, and I went back to the suite. Edward was having a drink at the bar when he welcomed us back. Laura gave him a quick summary of our Spa adventure as Josh prepared us some cocktails and tuned the villa's sound system for some background music. I didn't stay long. It had been nice to have time for a small conversation in the beautiful room provided for us, even if Eddie was there too. It was the first time I'd had some sort of relaxing conversation over drinks with Laura and him, and it felt as if we were a couple of friends getting together for a double-date. I'd had double dates before, but the surprising part was how easy it felt—how comfortable I was with the idea that Laura and Edward were a couple and that Josh and I could potentially be one. I wasn't about to dwell on it too much, but it felt harmonious.

Then it came time for us to get ready for the rest of the night. Laura excused herself soon after I did for the same reason.

Josh followed me to the room we apparently shared now. I hadn't given much thought to the fact that we'd once again be in the same room and bed. It was fine; after all, nothing that I didn't want to happen would happen, even if I was extremely curious about what went down between us the night before and the possibilities today offered. He followed to inform me where he had placed my toiletries and carry-on and to tell me that he'd be in the main room watching sports until I was ready. To be completely honest, I hadn't foreseen sharing the same space with him as we got ready for the night. It was an intimate act that I hadn't shared with anyone in a long time, and I honestly didn't know how to handle it at the moment.

Unexpectedly, it was extremely comfortable and simple. It felt as if we had done it before. I had time to take a shower and get dressed before he stepped back in. While I finished getting ready, he took a quick shower, and by the time he came back out, my hair was done and only my makeup was missing. We were coordinated, as if we'd done this a million times before. It felt good, especially since he just flirted with me almost the whole time. Josh wasn't a shy guy; he was very much comfortable in his own skin and got dressed before me without an inch of diffidence. I certainly enjoyed the show. I'd seen him nude that morning, watched him get ready for the party in the evening, and I couldn't wait to see him naked and on top of me later that night. This time, I wouldn't forget what happened under the sheets.

I was just about to finish getting ready, putting on my hoop earrings and looking at the final outcome in the mirror. For a last-minute ensemble, I looked pretty good. My grandma always said we should pack an extra outfit whenever we traveled, that we never knew what could happen, so I'd picked up the habit of over-packing. Since we were in Vegas, I chose a black little dress. It was a sheath, off-the-shoulder mini-dress that did wonders for my curves. I complimented it with my anklet-boots, since it was the only pair of shoes I'd packed, having in mind to wear them with jeans on the trip back home. They matched really well. I didn't have much in the accessory department, since it was an unplanned event, so my only pieces of jewelry were my silver hoops. Instead, I got a little creative with my makeup and enhanced my light blue eyes, letting my hair down, loose and wild. I liked the way I looked. I felt comfortable _and_ sexy.

Josh stood behind me in the mirror, looking like a dream himself. He kept his image very simple with a tight, gray t-shirt, dark blue designer jeans, and black boots. The guy didn't need much to look absolutely amazing. His reflection smiled at me, his steel gray eyes looking directly into mine. Without looking away, he rearranged my hair to lay over one shoulder, then ran his thumb from my ear to my shoulder. Kissing me behind my exposed ear, he whispered, "You look beautiful."

I didn't need much more encouragement than that.

He then turned me around, kissed me sweetly, and offered his hand, saying, "Let's go."

It wasn't my first time at a strip club, so that didn't surprise me. It was probably the nicest, or maybe classiest, strip club that I'd visited (and L.A. had some good ones), but that also wasn't that surprising. The thing that really blew me away was the fact that I was going on a date in a strip club. My first date, nonetheless, with Josh. The first man that I'd been truly attracted to in a very long time.

I guess that my desperation to go out with him was getting the best of me. Or probably the fact that I had sex with him the night before and couldn't remember a single little bit of it got the best of me and pushed me to accept his invitation to my ex's bachelor's party. The ex-boyfriend who had hurt me so deeply and who was soon marrying my best friend.

For whatever reason, I was there, at Edward's bachelor party, on my first real date with Josh.

He was so sweet to me. Even if the party occupied most of the main stage where some of the most beautiful girls I'd ever seen danced and removed their clothes for every observer's enjoyment, Josh ushered me to the bar counter at the end of the club, talked to me, and ignored most of the girls pacing naked around us.

It was a weird setting for a first date, to be honest. Josh made a huge effort to make me forget about everything around and concentrate on us and our time together.

"Do you want something else to drink?" he asked me after I finish the first cocktail of the night.

"I'm fine, thanks," was my only reply besides a sweet smile.

"I'm betting you don't want to drink as much as you did yesterday," he said with a sexy grin, then added, "You were fun yesterday, babe. All those shots. Tequila, no less. And the dancing, of course. You're a criminal dancer, Kass."

His statements made me smile a bit. "If dancing is what you want, I'm sure I can manage."

"Oh, you sure can. Problem is, I don't think you'll want to dance like we did yesterday in this scene." He put a hand to my waist, bending down a little to whisper, "And as much as I would like to dance with you like that again, I really don't want to get into a fight when someone asks to be next on your list of lap-dances."

Josh laughed as he made this last analysis. I had to laugh with him. Every day, I got to know him a little better, and definitely understood now that he didn't say that to ridicule me; in his twisted, dark sense of humor, Josh meant it as a compliment.

"Then I'll refrain from dancing. Don't want to place you in that position," I said, definitely amused. The idea of someone asking for a lap dance was hilarious to me; dancing with Josh, on the other hand, was a completely different matter. Then again, if I really wanted to remember tonight's events, drinking was not on my list of activities. "So, no drinking tonight."

"Too bad, babe. Drunk Kass was really fun," he said as he held my hand and placed a kiss on my cheek. "The lap dance was fun, too. The highlight of my night, I must say. Yet another reason to beat down anyone who wanted to get one from you."

Lap dance? I gave him a lap dance? How did that happen?

The uncertainty was probably all over my face since Josh promptly said, "Your face is priceless, Kass. You don't remember the lap dance you gave me last night, either?" My shy smile must have been answer enough. "Exactly how much do you remember?"

The million-dollar question with a fifty-cent answer—not much.

Some sort of commotion broke out in the center of the stage, hooting and hollering all over the place. I automatically turned to the source of agitation and saw that Edward was being dragged by a stripper to the center of the stage.

Josh pressed for my answer, plastering his body to mine in a gesture to demand my attention. "Kass?" he asked again.

"Not much," I voiced.

"How much?"

"Shots at the bar."

"And?" he pressed.

I was really embarrassed by my answer. I didn't want him to get upset with me because I didn't remember our only night together. "I'm sorry, Josh. That's the answer. Not much. I definitely remember getting here and heading to the bachelorette party. We were drinking a lot—at least, I was. I was drinking non-stop since the party began. I can't even remember what I fought about with Laura. I do remember leaving the party upset and Natalie trying to convince me to go back in." I also remember asking her not to follow me around and to mind her own business. I apologized to her this morning as soon as I remembered.

"From there my memories are...just a little fuzzy," I said, giving a sheepish smile and shaking my head. "I remember getting to the other bar on my own. Flirting some. And then you." Unfortunately, I didn't remember much of what I did with him. "I remember doing shots with you, and some dancing. I honestly don't know how I got back to the hotel room with you, much less what we did afterwards."

"So you don't remember the lap dance?" he asked again.

"No, I don't."

"It was a good dance," he stated with a nod.

I gave him a lopsided smile and shrugged a little.

Averting my eyes from his, I turned to the main stage, where Edward received a hell of a lap dance. By two girls. There was a very naked woman behind him, rubbing her tits on the side of his face, and there was another girl, wearing a red dress, between his legs. I remembered that dress—it was Laura's red dress. And Laura's hair flipping all over Eddie's lap.

Oh my God! Laura and a stripper were giving Edward the time of his life, probably fulfilling a lifetime of fantasies.

Josh burst out laughing, attracting my attention, and a few others looked our way, too. Thankfully, he wasn't angry by the fact that I didn't remember the night before. I doubt he even noticed what was going on onstage with his best friend.

I loved his attitude about the situation. The way he reacted was a breath of fresh air. Some other guy would get angry that I'd been so wasted I didn't remember anything, or even offended because I didn't remember sleeping with him. But not Josh. He just laughed.

"Sorry, Kass, I'm not laughing at you. I just find the whole thing so amusing," he said. "I knew you were really drunk, but I thought you got hammered with _me_ at the bar. Now, I know you were already smashed by the time I'd met up with you. No wonder."

"No wonder what?"

"Well... Let me tell you my side of the story," he said as he turned to the bartender and asked for more drinks. "Natalie sent me a text, right? To help her out with you since you were being unreasonable. I caught up with you at the hotel's bar and you were really happy to see me. I knew you were tipsy, but now I have a clearer picture of it." The barman gave us our drinks, and Josh stopped to thank him. "Apparently, you remember some of that part. We had shots and danced. You were driving me mental with the stupid dick-shaped shot glass you kept using, and you kept finding it hilarious." He shook his head and continued. "All that dancing. You drove me wild with the dancing. Me and every other guy who saw the way you moved." He smiled and combed back his dirty-blond hair, his grey eyes fixated on mine. "I had to drag you to a dark corner so I could take our make-out session somewhere more private."

I wasn't finding any of that surprising. Once before, we'd ended up hiding from the world during compromising situations. What I didn't know yet was how we'd ended up in his room.

Josh looked intensely at me, his gaze hot and bothered. "Thank God you suggested we take our asses somewhere else, because I was dry-humping you like a dog. I certainly found your suggestion the brightest idea in the universe. Honestly, I was beginning to think there really was no future for us."

He was absolutely right. I was the one always detaining our relationship to go any further. He repeatedly came at me, I stopped him, and last night it had been me the one asking him to get it done.

"I was so turned on. Well, I guess you were too, babe." He smiled at me and winked. "Anyway, we arrived at the villa and as soon I closed the door you basically tore my clothes off. By the time we got in the room, I was already half-naked, and you made me sit as you gave me the best fucking lap-dance I've ever had. The rest is kinda history."

I could certainly imagine the rest of that myself.

"I knew we were both pretty drunk, but I didn't know how much you'd actually had. Now I understand why you fell asleep on me before we could actually do anything."

"I fell asleep?" I incredulously asked.

"Yep," was Josh's simple reply.

"So we didn't..."

"We didn't, babe."

"But I thought... We woke up naked, and I thought..." I'd actually passed out on him?

"I totally thought we were going to," he added with a huge grin, his eyes sparkling. "But—"

"We didn't," I completed for him.

"Sadly, no."

I laughed.

"Why the hell are you laughing, Kassandra?" Josh asked, unable to keep from chuckling himself.

"Because we didn't, and I was beating myself up 'cause I thought we did and I couldn't remember," I said.

"Oh no, baby. If we did, no matter how shitfaced you were, you'd remember."

I'd been waiting for that kind of macho statement. I laughed even harder now. "I'm so relieved."

"That we didn't?"

"No," I explained, "that I didn't forget."

"You did forget some," he replied, stepping closer with his smartass expression.

"Yeah, I did," I accepted. "But I didn't forget sleeping with you."

"No," Josh agreed. "That hasn't happened...yet."

"Not yet."

"But it can happen," he assured me.

I so didn't need the assurance.

"It can."

"You want it to happen?"

I saw that challenge in his request. "Do you?"

"Babe, do you even have to ask?"

I smiled. I certainly didn't need to ask.

"I've been hard all day for you," he added. "Just thinking about you does that to me. It's even harder waiting, now that I know exactly how hot you look under that short black dress." Then he pressed a hot, wet kiss to my lips.

"Then let's go," I said breathlessly as soon as he pulled away.

"You don't have to say that twice."

## Chapter 16

We didn't excuse ourselves from Edward's bachelor party, just held hands and went back to the villa.

We definitely took our time, and once we were back in our room, Josh offered me something to drink and I accepted. He put on some background music and we sat at the table next to the bar inside the suite. We talked for a little while as we enjoyed our time together. I, of course, took the chance to admire him. I loved how he seemed to put so little effort in dressing for any occasion, and he always ended up looking smoking hot. His attire was rather simple, uncomplicated, but the result was mouthwatering. He wore a thick, gray cotton shirt, designer jeans, and boots. He seemed as if he'd just walked out of one of my wet dreams—yet again.

Our conversation was really pleasant, as was his company, and I was more than eager to get to the next part of the night. Then again, why rush? We were together, we were spending the night together, and no one was stopping us this time.

As he sat next to me, I gazed at the view before us. The lights of the Las Vegas Strip definitely played their part in adding to our romantic evening. It was a reminder that we were in a magical place, one which called for romance.

"You're beautiful," Josh said at some point in our conversation. He then kneeled before me and placed his hands on the sides of my face. Even if I was sitting in one of our hotel's chairs and he was on his knees in front of me, our heads were almost at the same height. Josh gently pulled my face into his to reach for a kiss. It was delicate and slow, then picked up quickly as my hands explored his arms and back. His fingers moved from my face to my shoulders, pulling down my black dress.

"God, baby, you're not wearing a bra." He stared in surprise as my clothing pooled around my waist. His hands automatically covered my breasts in a tender, needy caress.

"I couldn't," I explained, enjoying his ministrations. "The bras I brought for the trip weren't meant for this dress. I thought you'd noticed downstairs."

"No, I didn't." Josh ran his soft lips and tongue from my neck to my shoulder, then teased one of my nipples with tiny, playful nibbles. His hands seemed to be everywhere on me at once.

"I was trying to be a gentleman, looking only at your eyes instead of your body," he added. It took me a second to understand that we were still talking about my lack of a bra. "Although, to be perfectly honest, it was your legs in that short little dress that demanded most of my attention. Not that your tits aren't fucking perfect, 'cause I've been obsessing over them for as long as I can remember."

"Oh," was my only reply. I wasn't able to create a more intelligent one. The only other thing I could think to say, "Yeah, well. I didn't pack the right bra for the dress, or panties, for that matter. So I had to be a little creative."

Josh made a noise that sounded close to a roar, grabbed two handfuls of my ass, pulled me to him, and stood. Looking at me in the eyes he said, "I've had enough trying to be a gentleman. I want you, and I fucking want you now."

I nodded and closed my legs around his waist.

He took us to our bedroom and threw me to the bed. My body only had the chance to bounce once before he was on top of mine. Josh grabbed one of my shoes with one hand, doing his best to undo my boot and remove it from my feet; his other hand got a firm grip in my hair and held my head in place as he kissed me breathless. Finally throwing my boot against the wall, he finished our kiss and said, "You better not fucking pass out on me again."

I laughed. He stood and grabbed my other leg, making much quicker work of the second boot. Then he slid the thong from my hips and laughed as he catapulted it to the other side of the room. My black dress had bunched up around my waist, and he pulled that off too, leaving me completely naked on top of the white bed.

"I'll never get tired of this view," he whispered.

"You didn't have enough last night?" I asked in a tease.

"Kass, I could look at you naked every day for the rest of my life and it might never be enough."

That was more than what I was expecting.

"Come here," I said, sitting up to wrap him in my arms. I kissed him, noticing his hands moving slowly over my back, my waist, my ass, as I reached for the hem of his shirt to pull it up and away.

"I love this booty. Can I have it?"

"You're getting greedy," I said. I pushed his jeans and boxer briefs as far as I could reach. "Take the rest off."

Josh did as I requested and then said, "On your back, babe. Your ass and feet by the edge of the bed. I intend to finish what I started yesterday."

I followed his instructions. Josh kneeled by the bed, took one of my ankles in each of his hands, and brought them up to his shoulders. His kisses started at my collarbone, trailing downward along my chest, stopping at each of my nipples, nibbling and biting his way in between my legs.

"I love that you're waxed," he said, and before I could answer, his lips went straight to my pussy, his tongue flicking in hot, fast circles around my clit.

I could only lay back and try not to be too loud, grasping the bedsheets for purchase. One of his hands pinched my nipples, playing steadily as his fingers and tongue worked together between my legs. He took his time with me, slowing down the aching rhythm of his fingers to momentarily pay attention elsewhere, sucking at my breasts, nibbling between my legs, and teasing me with a pleasure I hadn't received in what seemed like forever. Two of his fingers made their way toward my asshole. When I didn't stop him, he read all my cues, turning me to liquid in his hands.

Without removing his fingers, Josh reared up with a satisfied grin. "Now it's my turn," he said, leaving my sweat-soaked body to grab a condom from the bathroom counter. He came back with the rubber already on, and I pushed myself back up to the wooden headboard. Josh joined me, crawling toward me before hovering over my body for a moment, breathing heavily.

I couldn't stop myself; I grabbed his dick, just to feel it in my hand, and placed it exactly where I wanted it. With a quick, hard plunge, Josh entered me, not bothering to wait before drawing out and thrusting back in again. My toes curled and I clutched his arms, thinking I'd never found a rhythm so easily and so quickly with anyone else before.

Missionary style didn't last long before his arms encircled me, lifting me as he turned so I straddled him, riding him as he seemed to penetrate me even deeper. He paid the same amount of brilliant attention to my breasts, kissing my neck, and I took my time to give him what I wanted. I wondered then why I'd ever tried to put this off—why I'd not taken him up on his offer for a night like this the very first time.

"Tell me when you're there, Kass," Josh rumbled as he gazed at me. "I want you to finish."

As if on cue, my body trembled in its second orgasm, and Josh changed our positioning in such a way that it lasted even longer. As I was about to beg him to stop his sweet torture, I felt him come inside of me.

We lay on the bed, spent, and then Josh kissed me tenderly before removing himself and stepping into the restroom. I so wanted to follow him, but my body felt like jelly and didn't respond to my will.

"Here, babe." He came back with a wet towel and handed it to me, watching as I cleaned myself. In that moment, I felt like I couldn't possibly have found the energy for anything else. But I was wrong. Josh got me worked up more than once that night, officially starting our relationship with a bang.

## Chapter 17

After Vegas, my life became completely unrecognizable. I was finally in a relationship with a guy who I found absolutely amazing. Even if I'd thought he was a womanizer in the beginning, Josh constantly proved he was everything I'd always desired in a man. He was kind and considerate, always thinking of what was best for me and placing me first before anything else. Besides, he was incredibly hot.

The next few weeks were ridiculously busy. I had to get ahead with work so I could leave for my vacation and Laura's wedding. Thankfully, all the girls—and Josh—helped me out a lot. Josh even helped plan the baby shower for Natalie. She really deserved it, not only because she was one of my best friends but because, as Josh constantly reminded me, she'd been the cupid in our love story.

My routine completely changed with Josh in my life. Every afternoon, we met after work, either at his place or mine—any place, really, as long as we were together. Sometimes, it was hard to juggle our time together with work, and I wasn't used to dividing my attention like that. But I quickly found just how worth it sharing my time actually was. Some nights, I had to ask Josh to give me some space; I needed to really get my business together if I wanted to actually take that vacation. I couldn't remember the last time I'd taken some downtime. Sure, I had some weekend getaways, but no more than three days off since Sol's wedding. Laura's wedding was going to offer a huge breath of relief and relaxation. And, most importantly, it was going to be my first vacation with Josh. My first romantic getaway—one that, so far, stemmed from a three-month-old relationship. That was definitely a new personal record.

I was also looking forward to actually bringing my _boyfriend_ to a wedding. I brought dates to all of my friend's weddings, sure, but for the first time, I was taking someone important with me. Someone who mattered. Not a friend, or a fuckbuddy, but a man. My man. My Josh.

"Are you ready, babe?" Josh asked as he stepped behind me. I could see his reflection in the mirror; he looked like a dream in the white linen beach shirt we'd picked together for the occasion.

"Give me five more minutes," I replied. I was still in my panties, getting ready for Laura's rehearsal party. Since I wanted to look my sexiest for Josh, I selected a halter-top, backless, canary-yellow mini-dress with a deep V neckline--probably more suited for clubbing than rehearsal party.

He grabbed my ass and slapped it, eliciting from me a happy yelp of surprise. "Kass, if you don't hurry up, we might not leave the room at all," he stated. "All I wanna do is fuck your brains out when I see you half-naked."

"Didn't you have enough this afternoon?"

"Beautiful, I never have enough. I'm addicted to you."

"You're terrible. Give me five minutes, then we'll leave. Later on, we can decide what happens with your _addiction_."

"I can't wait until this is over and I have you all to myself. This stupid wedding is ruining my Kass time."

I laughed and pushed him away. If he kept hovering around me, it would only be a matter of time before we ended up exactly as he wanted us—naked and panting on every surface of our hotel room.

We arrived in Bora Bora last Tuesday. Laura, Edward, Denise, and her husband Clay arrived with us, and so far, we'd enjoyed three wonderful days in this tropical paradise. Most of our days we spent on the beach and under the sun, relaxing and taking every romantic moment possible.

Of course, I also had to spend some time talking to the wedding planner now that we finally met in person, and I helped Denise out with planning the rehearsal dinner. Thankfully, Denise continued her assistance in all wedding-related matters, and after her success with the bachelorette party, all her hard work let me focus a lot more on the wedding.

Traditionally, the groom's family organized and paid for the rehearsal dinner. Why Denise planned it under Laura's direction instead was beyond me. I could only guess that Edward's parents weren't actually paying for anything—Edward himself was, which is how Laura got complete control instead of involving her future in-laws. Sometimes, both sets of parents chose to do the honors together, but in Laura's wedding, it was all of her doing and choosing. Frankly, I didn't know for sure why only Laura called the shots, but I could admit that she'd most likely become a bridezilla. If Edward's and Laura's parents had anything to do with the bill, I felt they needed to have some say in planning the whole thing. But nobody wanted my advice on _that_.

## Chapter 18

Laura and Edward's rehearsal dinner party was held the night before the wedding, Friday, June 5th, at 8:00 p.m. Two hours after it started, everything seemed to be going perfectly. It was the best opportunity for both their families to get to know each other and relax before the wedding. We all could relieve some of the wedding tension, and Josh and I enjoyed it immensely.

Everyone important in Laura's life was there. Natalie, Andrik, Marisol, and Michael arrived in the early evening that same day. Marisol had left her baby with her parents and used this vacation as a short "second honeymoon". Poor Natalie had tried to leave her baby with her mother, but that didn't work out for her.

From my vantage point, everything developed exceedingly well. Laura decided that since she would have her wedding on the beach, the rehearsal dinner would take place on the beautiful terrace next to the hotel's pool, the astonishing view of the sea an added bonus.

The venue started with Laura, Edward, and Denise greeting and welcoming everyone at the door, where they were ushered from the activity center to the swimming pool. Since I wasn't hosting the event, Josh and I went directly to sit at our table at the Hurricane Bar. It didn't take Laura and Edward long to detach themselves from the door and catch up with their guests inside.

Waiters walked around the bar, offering beverages and appetizers on trays. At exactly 8:30 p.m., the buffet opened, and dinner was absolutely wonderful. All of the rehearsal dinner guests experienced Polynesian cuisine, combined wonderfully with beachside dining experience under an open, starry-night sky.

Before long, all relatives and friends made their toasts. Edward's parents were the first to begin. It took a moment for their speech to become a series of compliments towards Laura and how wonderful a wife they knew she would be. Then Edward took over. After thanking his parents for their kind words and good wishes, he too talked animatedly about Laura and his feelings for her. Laura shed some tears and stood up in the middle of Edward's loving words to kiss him profusely right there in front of everyone. Someone shouted and suggested they get a room—okay, it was Josh—and then Laura took over the microphone, gave another academy-award-like thank you speech, and managed to slip in a few last-minute reminders about the following day.

Some of the older guests left the reception after dessert, but most of us stayed for some dancing and drinking. Josh and I opted for the dance floor and enjoyed ourselves immensely. My man was shamelessly flirty, definitely doing everything within his power to make sure he got lucky as soon as we headed back to our overwater bungalow. Natalie and Andrik joined us in our dancing after Nat's mom left with the baby for the night. Marisol and Michael decided to go back to their room and get some rest for the following day, although, if you asked me, I figured they just wanted to get some great sex in while they didn't have anything else to worry about. Good for them.

The rest of our friends had completely disappeared. Laura and Edward were probably going around talking to their guests. I believe I saw Clay by the bar having a few beers, and my instinct told me that Denise was somewhere around the bar handling event issues. Aside from that, everyone at the party seemed to be having an excellent time.

After some more dancing and calorie-burning, I needed a restroom break. I excused myself from my friends and walked around the bar to where I assumed the restrooms were located. I only found Denise and Edward in what sounded like an argument.

"We've been through this before, Denise," Edward said to her. "I don't want any extra expenses."

"I did everything possible to avoid it, Eddie, but unfortunately there are situations when it's not that easy." She seemed really ashamed of the situation, but despite her apologies, Edward was clearly unhappy.

"It _is_ easy. You simply say no."

"To Laura's parents?"

"To anyone," the groom said, folding his arms.

"Well, I can't deny them anything," Denise confessed.

"Then you're useless."

I really didn't understand why Edward complained so much about money. It wasn't like he didn't have any. Then again, I guess he wouldn't have such a large sum if he spent it carelessly.

"The whole idea of having you help with the wedding was so Laura would feel more at ease and so you could earn some extra money to afford the trip. At the moment, I only see the downside of me investing more money in all this. I should have kept Kassandra planning the whole thing herself. You obviously don't have what it takes to do all this on your own."

I couldn't take it anymore. Ed was being completely unreasonable with Denise, and someone had to stop him. I probably should have told someone else to save myself from what was coming.

"Don't talk to her like that, Edward. You need to apologize." I surprised both of them when I spoke up. "Denise has done all in her power to give Laura everything she wants. If there's an issue with _your_ budget, _you're_ the one who needs to speak with her about it."

"This isn't about you, Kassandra." As expected, Edward couldn't care less about my perception of their argument.

What really surprised me, though, was that Denise seemed far more upset by my abrupt interference. "Kassie, it's okay," she said. "Eddie and I had an agreement on the budget, and I took it to the limit. He has a right to be upset about it, and I take responsibility for making it right."

Why did this girl feel it was okay to take crap from anyone, her husband included? Clay should be the one here defending her and asking for Edward to at least show some respect.

"He knows perfectly well how much money weddings cost, Denise," I told her. "He needs to give you a break, here. We both know how hard this kind of planning is."

Edward snorted. It was totally unattractive of him. "She's certainly getting more than fair treatment from me as a friend of my fiancé. I'm paying for all of her and her husband's expenses, and because of that arrangement, Denise guaranteed me that she would minimize the bachelorette and rehearsal party expenses. She would keep Laura happy _and_ respect the budget."

I couldn't really tell if that was a good deal or not. It was certainly good that Denise and Clay got to join us as a result of the bargain, but at what cost? Denise seemed mortified that I'd overheard their conversation—were things so tight that she thought putting up with Laura and Edward just to come to the wedding in the first place would be worth it?

"He's right, Kassie. Don't worry. I'll solve it with him." She seemed focused on reassuring me that they would indeed figure it out. However I couldn't get my head around it.

"See? I know she's not as worthless as her husband," Edward added.

That did it. It was one thing for us, Denise's friends, to worry and comment about her and Clay's situation. But what gave this pompous asshole the right to voice his observations out loud?

"Edward, do you have no respect for _anyone_?" I shouted.

"How is it disrespectful to voice exactly what I think of her husband? What you all think of him?" Edward snarled back at me. "I'm only being honest."

"You're being an ass," I replied.

I was completely losing it. As usual, Edward's words just got under my skin more than they should have, and I knew I'd overreacted. The worst part was that he'd just made us all look like hypocrites—we _did_ talk about Clay behind Denise's back, and Edward had been the honest one in saying what he thought out loud.

"Kass, what's going on?" Josh ran his hand up and down my arm as he stepped up behind me, trying to calm me down.

"Your friend's giving Denise hell over his stupid budget," I replied. This wasn't the first time Edward complained about the money invested in his wedding, and I really didn't feel like mincing words. That time, though, Josh had been the one defending _me_ against Edward's ridiculous claims. "I'm only asking you, Edward, to treat people with dignity. What you pay for or not isn't my concern, but how you treat Laura's friends definitely is. You like overstepping people's boundaries and humiliating them, and I don't want to stand by and watch it."

"Stop talking like you know me, Kassandra," Edward barked back.

"Oh, I certainly don't know you," I agreed. "And I don't want to. I just hope Laura knows who the hell she's marrying."

"Calm down, Kass." I felt Josh beside me, doing his best to stop the uncomfortable altercation—he pretty much knew the main highlights between Edward and I at this point. I'd spoken with him about wanting to confess everything to Laura, too, but I'd just never found the right time. "This isn't the place or the time for this argument," he added, and he was definitely right.

"I don't care, Josh," I told him, even though I still faced Edward. "My conversation with Laura is long overdue. It's time I told her who Edward really is."

"Well, you can shove your warning elsewhere, Kassandra," came Laura's voice from behind me. "I don't want it or need it. And I'm tired of you acting like everything's about you." She obviously had no idea what was going on, and the fact that her first reaction would be to assume I just wanted all the attention just shattered any intention I'd had of leaving this alone.

"I'm sorry, Laura," I said, knowing full well that I'd turned this into a spectacle now. "I have to tell you what a terrible human being you're marrying."

"To tell me _what_ , Kassie?" She raised one of her well-maintained eyebrows and folded her arms. "That you had a relationship with him and never told me about it, or that he _abused_ you and _forced_ you to do things you didn't want? Like that threesome you always regretted?"

No, I hadn't expected that at all, and I just stood there, dumbfounded. I didn't know Laura had that information; I'd never given her any of the specifics. I was too embarrassed about them. She hadn't covered the complete story, but she certainly hit the main highlights.

"Come on, Kass," Josh begged. "You said what's on your mind. Let's stop this, calm down, and talk about it later when we're all thinking a little bit clearer."

"What are you afraid of, anyway?" Laura asked, folding her arms. "Are you such a prude that you can't conceive of the idea that I like kinky stuff? Or are you just so envious that you can't accept I've finally found love? That Edward loves me, and that I get to enjoy everything he gives _me_? We have an open relationship, and we like having fun. What's wrong with that, Kassandra?"

I wasn't surprised that she sided with Eddie—they _were_ getting married, after all—but I'd never expected her to attack me in his defense.

"Nothing," I answered. "There's nothing wrong with that. You're right."

"Great!" Josh rapidly interjected. "Now that everything's settled, let's call it a night." He kindly placed his arm around my shoulders and turned me toward our room. "Let's leave, babe."

"Laura," I added, turning around and pleading with her one final time. I couldn't let this go; I had to say my peace and make sure she understood me. "I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone. I just believe that you deserve someone better than him."

"Someone like who? Like Josh?" Laura asked with blatant sarcasm. "Oh, honey." The words came out far more than condescending and tinged with anger. "Who do you think we've been having threeways with?"

Time stopped.

"Fuck," Josh exhaled frustratedly beside me.

Surprisingly, Edward interfered in an unexpected way. "Laura, you're blowing this out of proportion."

"Kass, babe, we need to go." I heard Josh calling me, but I didn't hear him deny any of it. "Let's talk about this."

I couldn't move as I felt my heart shatter into hundreds of little pieces.

"Why?" Laura had apparently turned on her future husband now, too. "She wants to tell me about her secret past, but I can't do the same? I don't think so."

I knew this was all my fault; I'd pushed Laura until she felt the only way to get back at me for questioning her relationship was to expose mine. She'd acted defensively, I was caught completely off guard.

I stared at the floor and tried to find a way to get air inside my lungs. They burned. I saw Josh's shoes in front of me and felt his hands grab my arms. I could even feel him trying to reach my gaze with his own.

I didn't want to look at him.

I didn't want his hands on me.

"Don't touch me," I said as I stepped back and placed an arm to distance myself from him. "I can't breathe." I walked away from the hotel and toward the beach. I needed to process the information. I needed to be alone.

As I headed toward exile, I could feel I wasn't alone.

"Don't follow me," I told whoever it was.

"Babe, let me—"

"Don't call me that."

"Kass," Josh tried again, "let me explain. It's not what you think."

So then, let's look for the answers which would destroy me completely, shall we?

"So you didn't sleep with her? You never had a threesome with them?" The _only_ thing I needed was for Josh to tell me none of that happened. He didn't sleep with them. He never touched Laura. He was only interested with me.

But he didn't say anything and I wanted to die.

"This conversation is over," I said. I knew enough now. I didn't need more information.

I didn't need to know that he'd touched my best friend. I certainly didn't want to know that he had enjoyed it. Most of all, I didn't need to know that I wasn't enough for him.

"We need to talk. It's not a big deal," he pleaded.

"It's a big deal for _me_." I turned on him with my fists clenched. "Remember why I didn't want to have a relationship with you in the first place? Because of shit like this."

I couldn't do it. Not even for him.

"Because I have a past or because I slept with your friend?" Josh asked, the hurt beneath his words ringing loud and clear. "'Cause, babe, I believe you've been in both situations yourself."

He was right. I was being a hypocrite. I had also slept with his best friend, had done plenty of things without him, and we both knew it.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?" Josh had known my history with Edward before we even hooked up, and I couldn't understand why he hadn't returned the honesty.

"Because I didn't want this to happen." I heard the genuine regret in his voice, but it wasn't enough.

I wasn't enough.

"I should have listened to my gut since the beginning. Save us all a headache. Good night, Josh." I wanted to end this. I wanted this terrible night to end so I could just move on with my life.

"This is what you wanted all along. Right, Kass?" he said, and I stopped walking.

"What?" I asked, incredulous, as I turned to face him. "Do you think I wanted you to sleep with my best friend?"

"No," Josh explained. "You wanted a fucking reason to end our relationship. You wanted to prove that you were right all along and that I'm not good enough for you. You wanted to end us before we even started."

"No, that's not it at all."

"Well, it doesn't feel like that." Josh exhaled and stepped toward me. "Look, Kass. I know that I'm a shithead. You've called me a womanizer since we met each other and you're right. I used to get around, and I didn't really care that much about who I hurt." I could hear nothing but frankness in his words. "I like girls and I like having sex with them. I also like experimentation and I've had experiences in more kinds of fucked up situations and places, and with more people, than I'm willing to admit to you. Not because I'm ashamed of who I am or what I've done, but because I'm afraid you'll judge me and leave me. Like you are right now."

Josh combed his fingers through his hair, then dropped his arms to his sides. "I'm not afraid to talk about my fucked-up past, if you want to hear about it. Some stories are plain-ass stupid, some might even be funny. What I'm really afraid of is losing you. I love you, Kass."

Honestly, it hurt a little that he'd choose to say those words for the first time now, in a situation like this. I was confused; I didn't know what he was trying to achieve by saying all this. My head had gone into complete overload with all that information.

"I never thought I would fall in love," he continued. "I never thought I would leave behind all the crazy shit the world has to offer. But I don't care about them. I care about you. And I would do anything life has to offer as long as I do it with and for you."

I was speechless and didn't know what to do anymore. My first instinct told me to run away and try to digest everything that had just happened. Now, I also had to deal with all this new information from Josh.

Apparently, he wasn't finished. "I know you have reservations when it comes to certain aspects of life. I'm aware of them, or at least some of them. You've been clear enough. You've placed your boundaries, and I'm doing my fucking best to respect them."

I was unmovable and untouchable before him. I didn't want to listen to him, not at the moment. We stood together, both hurting and completely unable to meet each other in the same place.

This had to stop.

"But I can't do it alone, Kass. If you're unwilling to try, unwilling to give us a shot, I can't do it anymore."

I really didn't want to look at him and find the disapproval I was so used to staring back at me. I could hear it in his voice. I wasn't enough.

"I see where you stand. I wanted to let you know where I stood," he said as closure. "You want me gone, I'll grant you your wish. I'll be out of our room as soon as I can and let you be."

He didn't reach for me again.

He left me there, standing alone on the white sand, under the starry night, surrounded by the cool breeze. I had finally obtained what I had asked for.

I was left alone.

How did everything get so messed up?

I had a really difficult time putting my brain back together as I sat on the beach. Everything that had happened. Everything I'd learned.

Even more difficult was realizing that I was still the only one to blame for everything.

Why did I have to meddle in other people's affairs?

Why did I feel such an urge to interfere with Edward and Denise's private conversation?

Why did I have to suddenly come _'clean'_ to Laura—just to find out that she'd known all along? My confession had only made matters worse.

I messed up. Big time.

I couldn't believe I had to be the one to start a public confrontation like that in the middle of Laura's celebration. I'd added another check on the Bridezillas Checklist:

Never did I imagine it would be me.

Then again, since it was Edward marrying my best friend, if I look at it just right, it would only seem natural. Just not like this.

Laura hadn't hesitated at all to remind me how unsuccessful I was with the men in my world—in a very open way, culminating this wedding ordeal with a magnificent, imaginary bitch-slap. She'd even picked up on the fact that, yes, sometimes I wish my life could be as wonderful as hers seemed to be. That effectively checked the final item on our checklist.

Green with envy.

What did that even mean?

I certainly didn't want what Laura had specifically—her possessions or her life—and certainly not Eddy. The wedding, even, and everything it represented...I wasn't envious of that. It wasn't as if I wanted such a glamorous wedding, but if I did, I certainly had the means to do it. If I ever found the right man to marry.

I was jealous of her relationship, of how she'd found a love which fulfilled her enough to make her settle. A love which made her see 'forever' with someone. I had to be honest with myself—I envied Laura for having found the love of her life.

It was silly of me to believe that I would ever find anything of the sort.

The only person that I have allowed myself to have a relationship with walked away from me. I had pushed Josh away, over and over, until I actually was successful and he'd left. He'd said I always judged him. I didn't want to admit it, but he was absolutely right.

From the first few hours that we knew each other I labeled him as a Casanova and nothing else. I never gave him the chance to really prove me wrong, like I was digging for the perfect excuse not to let him into my heart at all.

Sure, he had his share of women and his own experiences, some were more colorful than mine. But he'd put all that aside, taking a major leap of faith in me. Risking his heart to be with me.

And there I was, making a disaster out of the whole thing.

I couldn't blame him for walking away from me. Especially when I asked for it.

Everything was even worse because he had admitted his love for me. He'd just said it, and I couldn't get the echo of those words out of my mind.

He'd said he didn't want to keep fighting so hard to be with me anymore if I wasn't ready to let him in. I didn't blame him, but God, just the thought of a life without Josh hurt more than I ever expected.

Because I was in love with Josh.

The moment that thought formed in my head, I jumped from my seat on the salty sand. "What the hell am I doing here?" I mumbled.

I had to find him. I had to tell him. I was in love with him, too.

## Chapter 19

No matter where I looked, I couldn't find Josh. The first place I visited after my revelation at the beach was our hotel room. He wasn't there.

I tried his cell phone without success, only reaching his voicemail. I left several messages, none of which he returned. Then I returned to the restaurant where the disastrous rehearsal dinner took place. Nothing. It occurred to me that Josh probably went to the hotel lobby and asked for another room. But due to guest privacy policies, no one could give me any kind of information when I asked.

It also occurred to me that maybe Josh had specifically asked the receptionist not to give me that information. However, after the petite brunette manning the hotel's front desk during the night shift saw tears welling in my eyes, she decided to tell me _'off the record'_ that Josh hadn't asked for another room and, therefore, was probably crashing with a friend.

I thanked her with all my heart.

So, I sent messages to all my friends except Laura, asking if they knew anything about where Josh had gone. No one could tell me anything. Natalie and Andrik even offered to help me out, but I told them I looked everywhere without success.

At that point, I was sure he was hiding from me. I couldn't blame him.

As I sat in the hotel's lobby, Andrik found me. He decided to help me out, regardless of my refusing his help. "I looked everywhere I could think of and couldn't find him," he informed me, surprising me with his concern for my situation.

"Thank you, Andrik." I wasn't very responsive; this kind of physical and mental exhaustion hindered any show of emotional reaction whatsoever. "You didn't have to."

"I did find Clay," Andrik said, as if the information represented any kind of hope for me. "He told me Josh was drinking at the hotel's bar not so long ago, probably a little more than an hour ago." Which was around the time I'd started to search for him. I probably missed him just by a couple minutes. "Clay also said Josh had his suitcase with him." Oh, God. That wasn't good at all. What if he'd left? "He was also completely wasted," Andrik finished.

So, Josh had left and I missed him. Shit.

I was sure Andrik saw the pain and hurt on my face, and he was even more hopeful than I. "I don't think Josh left, Kassie. He was drunk, and Clay told me that one of the waitresses helped him out of the bar. Plus, I checked the departures from the island, and there isn't anything back to L.A. until after midday tomorrow. Or today, I should say. The first boat back to the mainland leaves at 8:00 a.m." Yep, Andrik was definitely hopeful. "It means he's here," he added reassuringly.

It sounded as if Josh was here indeed, although I didn't know where.

"Besides, Josh is here because his best friend is getting married," Andrik continued. "He's the Best Man. Do you think he'd ditch the wedding and leave Edward standing alone at the altar?"

I didn't know the answer to that question, but I _did_ know I wouldn't ditch Laura, even thought I certainly didn't deserve to stand next to her on her wedding day.

My best friend's husband put a kind hand on my arm. "Think about it, Kassie. If it were you, where would you go?"

Easy answer—I'd be with my friends. Which was exactly what the hotel's hostess tried to tell me, now that I thought about it. I took the chance on deciding both she and Andrik were probably right. Problem was, the only friend here Josh might reach out to would be... "Edward," I said.

"Exactly." Apparently, Andrik had been well aware of his own efforts to herd me toward the right answer. "Do you want me to give him a call?"

"No, thanks. I'll do it on my own," I answered. "I think it might be better if I go there personally."

"I'll go with you," he said, rising from the seat next to me.

"Thank you, Andrik. Thank you for everything. But really, I think I should do this on my own."

I thankfully kissed Andrik's cheek and made my way to Edward's bungalow. I was really thankful that he and Laura had decided to go the traditional route and were sleeping in separate quarters until their wedding night.

A few minutes after 4:00 a.m., I reached his room and tapped out a knock. Eddie opened the door quicker than I expected, as if he'd been waiting for me.

He was shirtless and wearing only his pajama pants. It didn't take me long to notice the cell phone in his hand, and his surprised and a little haggard expression made me think he already knew most of what was going on.

"Kassandra, come in," he said as he stepped aside for me to enter.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Edward. But I'm sure you know I've been looking for Josh. I was...hoping you knew where he is."

"I'm afraid I don't know," my friend's fiancé replied. "I could give him a call. Do you want to wait and see if he answers his phone?"

If Josh was avoiding my calls, he might not do the same with Edward's. So I nodded and waited next to the door for Ed to make the call.

At this point, all I wanted to know was that Josh was okay. I didn't care if he didn't want to talk to me, but I needed to know he was somewhere here on the island, in the hotel, and nothing bad happened to him. Or anything worse than his night had already been.

"Shit, voicemail," Edward said to me as he exhaled and then left his message. "Josh, man, we're looking for you. Where are you? Get your head out of your ass and let us know. I have your woman here with me, and she's all sorts of worried about you. I'm also expecting to see you tomorrow next to me at the end of that aisle. Don't you pussy out on me!"

I inhaled deeply. I didn't know what it meant that Josh didn't answer his phone call, but I hoped for the best.

"Well, I guess that's it," I said. "Please, let me know if you hear anything from him. I'll be at the hotel's lobby to see if he takes the first boat back to mainland." I let myself out of Ed's room. I didn't need directions or him to bother to be polite to me.

"Wait, Kassandra." Edward quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me back inside his room, closing the door behind us. "I...I want to apologize."

"I don't understand." I was so tired and could barely function.

"Yes you do," Edward tried to explain. "And I don't only mean about last night."

"I'm not following." I really wanted to understand and leave the room to follow the next part of my plan, but to achieve it I needed Ed to spell it out for me. My head was an absolute mess.

"When we were together, you were everything I ever wanted."

I realized suddenly that this was a conversation long overdue. Even though it definitely wasn't the best moment to bring this up, I could only be fair and listen to what my ex had to say after all the mess I'd made lately.

"You've always been beautiful, and smart, and have one of the most amazing bodies. Not only that, but you were sweet and so devoted to our relationship." His breathing was really slow and comforting at first, but as his monologue advanced, Ed seemed anything but relaxed. "I've always been a spoiled son of a bitch," he continued. "I can't tell for sure why I always wanted things, persons, to represent a challenge, a risk, an adventure to get me excited and interested in anything and everything I feel I need."

I listened attentively as I leaned against the room's entrance wall. I honestly was having a difficult time believing what my ears picked up. I'd waited so long for Edward to say something like this to me, and now that I listened to his apology, I couldn't avoid feeling as if I was dreaming.

"I knew I was pushing you too far too fast," he said, his brows drawn in a heavy line of regret. "I knew you weren't cut out for the kind of relationship I wanted to have, but I thought that if I showed you—if I convinced you to try it out—I'd change your mind. After all, what was there not to like?" He chuckled, apparently finding that revelation amusing in some way.

His eyes remained on me, measuring my reaction. My ex-boyfriend gave a few steps back and forth, waved his hands to emphasize his speech, but mostly he just stood remarkably close to me. He even tried to reach for my hand but stopped himself midway.

"To be honest, I was impressed that you even allowed me to take you as far as you did. Don't get me wrong, I had no desire to lose you under any circumstances." It was then that he finally took my hand in his, and we were now as close as two people could get without their bodies touching each other. "And the more you tried new _stuff_ for me, the more I convinced myself that I could mold you to what I yearned. I really, really, wanted you to accept everything I laid out before you."

I sighed, blinking slowly to refocus on his face. I barely registered his hold on my hand.

"I'm sorry I did," Eddie said, taking my hand in both of his now. "I'm sorry I pushed you. I'm sorry because I changed you in a way you didn't want or deserved. And I'm mostly sorry because, in the end, I lost you." As he said the last sentence, Edward made the space between us nonexistent and kissed my cheek.

My head spun with all the beautiful words he'd just presented. "Wait, what?" I asked, completely confused as I placed my lonely hand on his chest and lightly pushed him back.

"Oh, God!" Ed gave a little jump backwards and explained. "Don't take this the wrong way. I'm so fucking grateful I finally found the woman to stand by all my crazy shit. I can be thankful enough that Laura is in my life now." Edward walked backward until he sat in one of the high-backed chairs. I followed suit. "I...fuck. I always knew an apology was way overdue."

I didn't know what to say. Honestly.

I knew I should say something. After all, _it takes two to tango_. I finally accepted that, yes, Edward might have pushed me way past my own boundaries when we were together, but at the end of the day, I'd been the one who had accepted the requests. I'd been the one who decided to resent those decisions for a good part of my life. My happiness had always been in my own hands—my own choice.

"You see," Ed interrupted as my brain decided to join the conversation, "Josh's been asking me questions about you. About how you were back then... He hasn't said anything, but I know by his expressions that you've changed. Honestly, it can be a lot of different things. I guess we're all grownups now and shit. I guess it wasn't necessarily me, but when it comes down to relationships, I've been told I really messed you up."

I could feel heat spreading all over my body. I regretted so much the way I'd decided to behave after my relationship with Edward, and now I found it embarrassing—childish.

"Oh, shit. No." He felt the need to clarify once more, probably confusing my blush with anger. "What we talked about isn't anything sexual. God, no. Josh would definitely kick the memories out of my brain if he could, even worse if I ever decided to go deep and purposeful that way. It's mainly about the way you act or react to certain things. He wanted to know, only with the best intentions."

I definitely didn't see Josh going to Edward for sexual advice, especially if the topic turned to my past relationship with Edward. Josh had mentioned a couple times how he wasn't crazy about Edward and I having a history, but he'd told me he'd accepted. It had brought he and I together.

"I feel like I'm just babbling right now." Edward stood up and came close to me once more. Holding both of my hands, he said, "To sum it up, I'm sorry. I really hope you and Josh can be happy together."

I didn't think he'd intended for his words to make me sick. I'd momentarily been distracted by his words, his sweeping apology, but the moment he mentioned Josh again, I remembered with full force how royally I'd screwed that up. I tightened my hold on his hands.

"I see how you've been around him, and I see both of you happy," he said. Then he let my hands go and stepped in for a hug. "I'm fucking glad."

"I don't think I'm good enough for him either," I whispered against his ear, voicing my worst fear.

Edward held me at arm's length and looked directly to my eyes. "Kassandra, you've gotta be shitting me. Even worse, yourself. Josh is crazy about you," he continued. "Lately, all his conversations start and finish with your name. He talks as if you were the most precious thing in the world, as if you walked on water or some shit like that." He laughed a little. "If it wasn't for Laura in my life, which helps me relate to his feelings, I would assume Josh had completely lost it."

If we both were going for honesty, I supposed I had to seize the moment, and my following comment wouldn't hurt much. "The thing is, I don't know if I can make him a hundred percent happy. I'm not as audacious in private as you and Laura."

"Hey." Edward narrowed his eyes at me. "Has Josh asked you for anything you didn't wanna do?"

I answered quickly and without a doubt. "No, not really."

"Then, there's your answer."

It couldn't be that simple, could it? God only knew I would like to forget the knowledge that both Josh and Edward shared certain preferences in the bedroom. "I'm afraid I'll run away from him if he asks me to be _that_ bold."

"We're not the same, Kassandra. Josh isn't me," Edward said. I was grateful I didn't have to spell it out for him; he knew what I was talking about. Thank God, because finding even this level of reassurance from him was the last thing I'd expected. "Sure, he likes kinky shit, but I don't think he needs it the way I do."

I just frowned at him and bit my lip.

"Look," he continued, "I know you're cautious with your heart and your body. I completely get it now. The only way to know what Josh wants is to ask him, and if you don't give him a shot, give _yourselves_ a shot... Well, are you ready to let go of him?"

"No," I said without hesitation.

"Well, if that's not good enough for him, he's a complete asshole. Just like me." Edward folded his arms and smiled at me.

"Thanks, Edward." He would never know exactly how much his words helped me understand—more than that, how they helped me heal.

"What for?"

"For finally accepting that you're an asshole."

I smiled too as I gave him one last glance before running to the hotel's lobby. There, I waited for Josh to come back into my life.

After waiting for hours, I inevitably fell asleep in the white wicker couches adorning the hotel's entrance. My petite receptionist friend woke me when her shift ended and the eight o'clock transportation to mainland was about to leave. Josh wasn't there, either.

I wanted to stay hopeful that he was here somewhere and had decided to stay for the wedding. If that was the case, I'd at least see him there—at Laura and Edward's wedding and the reception.

The mass would be held at 6:00 p.m. on the beach. I had around ten hours to do everything included in my personal _'fix this trip'_ checklist. First was getting a shower and some coffee. In that order.

After I got ready for the day, choosing comfortable clothes and shoes, I went to the main breakfast restaurant and ordered to-go coffee—the black miracle which would be my first peace offering. Then I headed off to find Laura. I had to fix things with her.

After knocking on her door for a few minutes, I figured she was still asleep, and it didn't surprise me. It was still early, and I believed the appointment with the beauty staff, which would make her absolutely perfect for her wedding, was more than an hour away.

Almost in slow motion, the door opened, and I heard her say, "You're early."

Apparently, she thought I was the glamour squad, but I wasn't letting go of the opportunity. As soon as I could react, I placed the coffee before her and said, "Laura, I'm so sorry."

"Oh, it's you." Her tone was as cold as I'd expected.

"Yep. I brought you a latte."

She took the celestial lure from my hands and gave it a sip, then told me, "Coffee's not going to make everything magically go away."

"I know, but it's a start."

"It is." At least she agreed with me.

"I came to apologize," I said in the sweetest voice I could manage.

"I figured." She took a sip. "You made a disgrace of yourself last night, not to mention how you judged Eddie and me for the way we handle our relationship."

"You're right, and I'm sorry about that," I said. Sorrier than I could explain. "But that's not what I came here to apologize for."

"What do you mean?" She'd obviously expected me to express my regret over my actions last night and nothing else.

"I wanted to tell you that you were right. I've been jealous of you," I confessed as I walked behind her to her suite's living room. "Of your relationship with Edward. I'm envious of what you have with him. You guys complement each other in a way I can't even explain. You're perfect for each other."

Laura dramatically exhaled as she sat on one of the puffy white couches. "Well then, I guess I accept your apology," she said, smiling in affection for me and a little bit of personal victory.

I knew my friend well; I'd just made her feel sensational. "It still doesn't mean I'm down for all the super kinky stuff." We both laughed, and it was such a relief that we could joke about it.

"Don't worry," Laura added. "Not everyone is as _evolved_."

"I guess so," I conceded. "I'm sorry about judging you, too. I'll grow to accept it...just spare me all the dirty details."

"Deal," she said, offering her hand. I shook it, and then she pulled me towards her for a hug and a kiss. I laughed in relief. I'd won my friend back.

"And I'm really sorry for ruining your rehearsal party."

"Are you kidding?" she asked. "It'll be the most commented-on wedding rehearsal in history." She always saw a way to shine under a thunderstorm.

I still regretted the spectacle I'd made of myself, but I know she'd been just as genuine.

"Don't worry, Kassie. It was mainly just us. All the other guests were back in their rooms or otherwise occupied. And I'm sorry, too. I was a bitch."

I hadn't expected that, either. "I deserved it," I said with all the truthfulness I could muster.

"I'm sorry I told you about...about what we did with Josh." She worried her hands as she said this.

"I'm sorry, too, though I guess I needed to know at some point."

Laura held my hand as we sat together on the couch. "Yeah, you did."

I could have heard it from someone else and not from her. I would have preferred for Josh to tell me about it and not my best friend. Laura seemed to have tired of my seriousness and musing, because she chose that moment for some comic relief. "You're invited next time. We can all swing."

Again we laughed.

"I just want you to know that ever since Josh hooked up with you, he refused to have anything to do with Eddie and me." She got closer to me on the couch. "After my bachelorette party, I was trashed and horny, Josh was there, and yeah, I did offer. But he refused. He made it really clear that he was interested in you and you alone, and he wasn't up to messing around with us anymore." When she finished, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "I hope you guys had a chance to talk about it last night," Laura added.

I shook my head. "No, we kinda broke up instead," I informed her.

She immediately made a comforting noise and cradled me in her arms. "Oh, Kassie. I'm so sorry."

"Again, I deserve it." I exhaled as I let the bride-to-be soothe me. "Besides me judging him, he told me he was tired of chasing after me."

_Chasing after me._ I regretted that he felt he had to do that instead of being with me. As if I was some sort of unattainable prize. I was so far away from being a prize.

"So, yeah..." I continued. "Josh left, and I haven't seen him again. I've been looking for him unsuccessfully all over the hotel."

"I guess it's your turn to chase _him_ , now."

As if on cue, I received a text that answered half my prayers:

**Edward** : Josh w/me. Completely shitfaced. No condition 2 talk. I'll sober him up.

"You might be right," I told her.

"I sure am." Laura smiled at me and kissed me on the cheek. Then someone knocked on the door. "But first things first," the bride finally said. "We need to doll up."

"Sure."

At that moment all the pieces of the puzzle seemed to be fitting together.

**Me** : Thnx. I'll c u both @ wedding.

## Chapter 20

It was probably from the relief I felt after apologizing to all of my friends, but I really enjoyed our wedding glam session. I talked to every single one of my friends. Apparently, only the girls, their husbands, two more of Laura's closest friends, and the hotel staff had witnessed our heated conversation. No more than twenty people. So, yeah, around ten percent of the wedding attendees. Not that bad, when I thought about it. So the rest of the guests were probably discussing our argument and qualifying it as a drunken amenity. Hopefully.

Regardless, I gave apologies to all my friends and asked them to share it with their husbands. They all seemed relieved that Laura and I had managed to reconcile, although they worried about my relationship with Josh. Natalie, of course, was sure that I'd talk to him and fix everything—as usual, the endless romantic. Marisol didn't comment much; she had a goofy look on her face and I was pretty sure it meant she was taking a lot of advantage of her one-on-one time with her husband. She simply said that if it was meant to be (and that she saw the spark in us, whatever that meant) it would happen.

Denise was the one who remained quiet throughout it all. She didn't say anything, she didn't accept or refuse my apologies—she simply stood and looked at me. Maybe she was mad at me about interfering in her debut as a wedding planner, or that she found out how we all talked about her husband behind her back. I'd apologized for that, too.

When we had just about finished our beauty session, she approached me, gave me a big hug, and simply said, "Thanks."

I honestly didn't know where it came from so I only said, "Thank you." I'd have to talk to her later to find out what that was all about.

There were no words to describe Laura. I had to admit that out of all of us, she was the most beautiful bride. Her hair, makeup, and dress were perfect. She looked like a model—a bride straight out of a movie. It made us all shed a tear or two when they gave her the natural flower bouquet as the final touch on her attire.

"Oh my God, Laura. You look so beautiful!" Natalie said.

"Wait!" Marisol screamed and got all of our attention. "It's the perfect time to give her her gift."

"What are you girls talking about?" Laura asked in confusion.

"I didn't know it was finished on time," Denise commented.

"Of course Maria Fernanda finished them on time," Marisol added. "Besides, we can't let Laura walk down the aisle like that." She grabbed everything out of her vanity bag. I went along and helped her find a burgundy fabric bag at the very bottom of her large purse. "Found it!" Marisol victoriously said. "Here, Laura, this is a gift from all of us."

Laura took the present and pulled the white strings that closed it. With a silly face, she poked her hand around in the back until she revealed its contents. "Wow, you guys!"

It had been hard, but we managed to convince Laura to go barefoot to her own wedding. Mainly, we'd told her that any kind of shoes were going to sink in the sand or get ruined and that going shoeless was a very romantic gesture. I really don't know how we pulled it off, but we did. And now our gift was more than perfect. It was necessary.

"When we went to Maria Fernanda's shop to have our bridesmaid dresses made. Kassie noticed that she had some jewelry," Marisol explained.

"Yeah, I did," I continued. "When I asked about it, turns out Maria Fernanda costume-made the necklaces and earrings to match whatever dress her customers bought from her or brought in to match."

"We knew we couldn't match any kind of jewelry you decided to wear on your wedding," Natalie pitched in. "We were pretty sure you would have chosen real diamonds."

We were completely right. The earring studs and simple choker Laura wore on her wedding day were both filled with white diamonds and pearls.

"But we formulated a plan. To give you something that would complement your wedding gown, dress your feet, and enhance your pedicure," Denise finished for us.

"And they're perfect!" Laura said as she pulled all of us in a group hug.

Since we hadn't found her the perfect pair of shoes, we'd all decided that our gift to her would be a beautiful pair of Swarovski beach sandals. They were really more of a jewelry accessory than shoes. The intricate, elegant design went around Laura's ankle and from there to her second toe. They looked so lovely on her feet and really showed off her classy French pedicure.

"I love them!" Laura said as she looked at her reflection in the mirror.

"In that case, I hope you don't mind that I ordered some for all of us," I said as I pulled out of my own duffel bag the sandals I'd had made for the rest of us. "Ours are far simpler than yours, but they match your style."

Laura was so tempted to cry that it made us all worry about her makeup. After a minute of breathing in and relaxing, she said, "This is the most perfect moment to finish my life as a single woman. I love you guys!"

"Good!" I said. "Now let's go get you married to the man of your kinks."

We all laughed at my attempt at comic relief, although on the inside, I was nervous about the conversation I needed to have with Josh.

The wedding was otherworldly. Everything was elegant and perfect and beachy. So was Laura. The hotel had an altar-like structure facing the sea, adorned with lacy fabric, starfish shells, and giant pearls. It looked amazing—the perfect scenery for my best friend's wedding.

The ceremony itself was beautiful, too. The priest was candid and funny. Edward and Laura's vows to each other came from the heart. And at the end, everyone present rejoiced in their love for each other.

I was really happy for my friends. For the first time throughout this whole ordeal, I was sincerely delighted about their relationship. It might have been because I finally had gotten some closure with Edward, or even because of my really honest conversation with Laura. Mostly, I think it was because I finally had a goal in my mind—to get Josh back. But from his behavior during the wedding, it wasn't going to be easy.

As Josh and I walked down the aisle together to join Edward and the priest, Josh never even looked at me. During the wedding ceremony, I shyly looked at him every now and then, especially when the priest mentioned words related to love. Not once did he look my way. I assumed that, while we signed the certificate as Laura and Edward's witnesses, my luck might change, but it didn't. Not even as we stood next to each other, as our hands touched, as I handed him the pen.

I couldn't breathe anymore.

Thankfully, it was time for us to move to the next scenery of the night, and champagne was handed to us in celebration. I gulped down my glass and breathed as best I could.

Natalie and Andrik got close to me, and Andrik said, "Don't worry. He'll come around."

The photographer gathered us for some pictures. The bride and groom; the bride, the groom, and their families; the married couple with their friends; the married couple and anyone else.... Eventually, Edward mentioned that he wanted a picture with the maid of honor and his best man.

"I'd rather not," Josh replied as my heart broke into a million pieces.

But Laura always got what Laura wanted, and the picture happened. It didn't make me feel any better, but I guess the memory was going to be there.

The party eventually moved to the hotel's main terrace, where white tables with beautiful flower-and-crystal centerpieces waited for us. Most people were already seated and having a drink. Only the wedding party and close friends had been held back for pictures. After our photo session, I walked to the terrace, where there were only four seats left, and I definitely wasn't about to sit at the married couple's table. I knew the seating chart showed Josh and I were to sit next to each other, but it didn't happen.

Josh was a few steps behind me. When he realized we were bound to sit next to each other, he turned around and went to the bar. Avoiding me at all costs.

I reached our table and took a seat, holding the little piece of paper displaying Josh's first and last name.

"I'm sorry," Denise said.

"Let me go talk to him," Anrik offered.

"Don't worry. It's okay," I said to no one in particular and all of them at the same time. I could feel their attention on me, feeling pity; I wasn't about to give up.

Clay suddenly stood up and said to his wife, "Baby, if it's all right with you, do you mind if I go join Josh at the bar? Make sure he holds his drinks? I don't want him to go MIA like last night."

"Sure." Denise seemed not to understand where her husband was coming from, but she agreed anyway.

I looked at Clay before he left and said, "Thanks." It'll give me some time to figure what to do next.

Toasts came once more. I was learning to dread toasts. For once, they weren't as awful, or maybe I was perceiving them differently. Their parents said loving words and gave them their blessings. The best man had his chance, too, although this time, his speech was monotone and generic. I could feel very clearly how he didn't make an effort because he was in pain, but he didn't want to let his best friend down. I could completely understand, and unfortunately it was my turn to take the microphone now.

"Good evening, everyone. I hope you are all enjoying this wonderful night, celebrating my best friend's wedding," I said with a shy smile as I held onto the microphone for dear life. "It's a difficult night for me personally, for many different reasons. First, because Laura getting married means that I'm the only one of my friends left single." More than a few people chuckled. "Second, because Edward has proven he isn't the jerk I imagined him to be and that he's worth all Laura's love." Edward's guests found my comment particularly funny. "Also because it's bittersweet to celebrate my friends' love when my own heart is waiting to find forgiveness from the person who matters the most to me—the man _I_ love." Yeah, the mood of my speech went from lighthearted and comical to seriously introspective. It wasn't my intention to make such a declaration, but there were things I needed to say, and maybe the right people were listening.

"For such a long time, I felt inadequate and protected myself from the idea of love. I became judgmental of myself and the people around me. But now that I stand in front of Laura and Edward on their wedding day, I can't believe I'm refusing myself the opportunity to love and be loved in return. Now I understand that, even though we're all different and we have varied tastes and kinks," I said as I turned to Laura and winked at her, "we can find the person who makes us whole. Now that I see my best friend and her husband in a different light, I recognize their love, their commitment, and how perfect they are for each other.

"There's much more I would like to say, but I know we must continue with the celebration." I raised my glass and finished my monologue. "So, I just wanted to thank them for being part of my life, to thank them for everything they taught me about love's many shades and colors, and to tell them how so very happy I am that they found each other. Cheers."

As I finished my speech, I went to Laura and Edward and gave them both a hug. I hardly paid any attention to the applauses and glee I received after my toast.

"That speech was epic, Kassie," Laura said to me.

"And honest," Ed commented.

"Thanks," I told them both. "Maybe one day you'll get to return the favor if I _ever_ get married."

"Oh, Kassie, you will," Laura said as she tried to soothe me.

Servers provided the wedding guests with their French cuisine as I talked to Laura and Edward. I should've gone back to my table to have a seat, but food didn't appeal to me at all.

"I hope so."

"Yes, you will," Edward assured me. "You should've seen Josh's face when you mentioned your heart was in his hands."

"She didn't say that," Laura gave him a small slap on the chest.

"It was implied, honey," the groom clarified. "And I'm sure he understood."

"Are you sure?" I asked him.

"Go look for him. He's ready to listen to you," Ed said with appropriate seriousness as he held my hand and gave me a small peck on the cheek.

I gave him my most sincere smile, kissed Laura quickly, and walked towards the man I loved.

I lost track of him, but with a little help from Clay, I was able to locate Josh. He sat drinking a beer at an empty table in a secluded area of the hotel. As I approached him, I said a little prayer so my words might tell him exactly what I intended. I was really nervous.

"Hey," I said, but he didn't reply. I needed to break his defenses. "May I have a seat?" Once more, I got no answer from him, but he did look at me before he went back to his drink. "Then I guess I'll say it standing up." I needed to seize the day. "I'm sorry."

I felt the need to continue since _I'm sorry_ didn't seem to cover it. "I'm sorry for judging you, because you didn't deserve it. I'm sorry for not being completely _in_ our relationship, for having my armor up, for having my fight or flight defense mechanism on at all times. And I'm sorry for not telling you how much I love you, too." I had to take another deep breath before continuing.

"I know it's stupid, but half the time, I feel so inadequate for you. Like I'm not enough. And it seems so easy, now that I think about it, to simply ask you for the things you want and expect from me, and I feel so stupid. I didn't want our relationship to end. Life is painful and seems pointless without you, but I didn't know how to keep you by my side.

"I heard you when you said you're tired of chasing after me and I'm so sorry I made you feel that way." He still didn't look at me. Not the response I'd been hoping for at all, but I couldn't give up. Not until I'd gotten all my thoughts out. "If you're tired of chasing after me now, it only means I'll have to chase after you. I can't let you go. You have my heart with you and I can't live without you both."

I didn't know what else to say to get a reaction from him. Any reaction would be good, really, not this cold disinterest. The heavy silence between us was about to make me explode, so I gave a small and sad little laugh. "I guess I'll go back and leave you alone for now. I ran out of things to say."

As I turned around to leave, I felt his hand reach for mine, stopping me from stepping away. "I thought you said you were going to chase after me." He was finally speaking to me and I couldn't help the tears running down my face. I still had nothing to say, so I nodded. "Then I don't understand," he added. "Why you would go away if I'm still here?"

"You're still here?" I asked him. "For me?"

"I don't see anyone else here but you."

I smiled. My chest felt suddenly warm after his words, and I could breathe again.

Josh pulled my hand, made me trip on my own feet, and I landed on top of him. "It'll be fun watching you chase after me."

"It will," I said after his surprise comeback. "I will."

I probably got a little too comfortable sitting on his lap, but it didn't seem as if he minded. One of his hands caressed my back while his other still held mine. It felt divine.

"Why would you feel inadequate, Kass?" he asked, interrupting the silence surrounding us. "When have I ever said or done anything to make you feel not enough?"

"Never," I honestly answered as I remember last night's conversation with Edward. "It's all me and my insecurities."

"I can't believe that inside all this beautiful exterior," he said, rubbing his hand over my back and all the other curves of my body, "there's an inch of insecurity. You always portray yourself as a strong woman, so sure of yourself and everything you are."

That's how people usually see me, but the reality was different. I was vulnerable, especially where Josh was involved. "I feel differently when it comes to you. Your opinion matters," I told him. He needed to hear just how much he meant to me. "It matters the most."

He dropped my hand and gave me a warm hug. I never wanted to let go of him. We stayed in each other's arms for a moment, listening to the sounds of the beach. "And you're sure you love me?" he asked.

I looked him directly in the eyes as I held his face and stated once more, "I love you. Without a doubt."

He held my gaze for a couple of seconds before breaking the moment and accommodating the both of us to look at the sea and not at each other.

I was sure there were a bunch of things going on inside that pretty head of his, but Josh didn't say much. I didn't dare question him, not at the moment. I had to enjoy his apparent willingness to forgive me and try again.

Josh cleared his throat and said, "I'm sorry that your past relationship made you feel controlled and submitted. I can imagine that you felt forced, humiliated, and abused." I appreciated that he was trying to understand how I felt, even though at this moment it didn't matter anymore who I was in the past, but who I was willing to be in the present. "I'm mostly sorry that you felt as if you didn't have control over what was happening with you and your relationship." I watched the sea while his fingers ran up and down my arms. "It must have been difficult," he added.

I felt compelled to reply. "It was."

"Is that how you feel with me?"

I understood then just why he'd been so careful during this conversation. He wanted to make sure I didn't feel that way with him. "No," I answered and looked at him.

"No. Good." He seemed relieved. "But you feel inadequate."

I breathed out before giving my answer. "Most of the time." It was difficult to be so honest.

"Well, babe, that needs to change."

"Sure." Josh seemed completely sure; maybe I should give it a try. "I guess it's just a matter of talking about what you want in our relationship."

He exhaled and ran his hand through his hair. "I want you."

"You want me?" For some reason it felt there was more to that statement.

"I want you," Josh repeated. "Only you." Then he pulled my hand once more, forcing me to stand with him. He stood up beside me and held me in his arms. "I guess we're good for now, don't you think?" He winked at me, took my hand in his, and started walking back to the wedding reception.

After a couple of steps, I stopped and asked, "But don't you want to talk a little bit more about what you'd like from our relationship? What you'd like to get from me?"

"Honestly, babe, if I start that conversation with you right now, I'm going to get even more worked up and we're going to end up having sex on the beach." He grinned at me. "I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want to ruin my clothes and I hate to feel sand up my ass. Plus, we gave enough of a performance yesterday. I believe some things are better left in private." We stared at each other.

"So, that's it?" I asked. This whole thing felt too easy, and I couldn't just let it sit without asking. "We're good now?"

"Oh, no. We're definitely not," Josh said, wearing a playful frown. "I was promised a good amount of chasing. And I can't wait to make you beg and convince me to take you back."

"You're an arrogant ass," I said and laughed.

"And you love that about me." He pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

"I do love you." I had to say it. I didn't want to stop saying it.

"Well, come on. We have to go tell everyone that you're working on convincing me to get back together." Interlacing our fingers, we headed back. "Eddie was bitching at me this morning about how much of a fucking loser I was to let you go."

"He did?"

"Can you believe that motherfucker?" Josh interjected. "Suddenly, now he's defending you. He even threatened to haul my ass to your door and make me beg for your forgiveness if we weren't back together by the end of the night."

I couldn't believe Edward said that. Since when were we on the same team?

"Really?" I asked. "I could have waited a couple more hours to have you at my door?" It would've been so much easier to keep playing victim and wait for Edward to drag Josh to me.

"Babe," Josh explained, "I wouldn't have let you go off this island until I sexed you up and convinced you that I was the only thing you've ever wanted in your life." I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "But you know? Having you chase after me is going to be so much fun."

We finally kissed and made up. His frantic hands ran up and down my body, his lips lowering my defenses every second. My body, of course, responded to his amorous assault, my hands tearing at his golden curls, and for a moment, I was afraid I could hurt him. so I placed my arms around his neck and took the opportunity to jump at him. Josh held me up by my ass, and a mocking comment brought me back to reality. Someone shouted at us to get back to our room, and as I finally paid attention to our surroundings, I noticed there were cheers and glee celebrating our getting back together.

I rapidly jumped back and placed my feet on the soft sand. Josh didn't let me go far. He held me back a fraction of a second after my sudden movement. He cradled my face in his hands and gave me a loving look. I know he wanted me to concentrate only on him and forget everything around us. It was our moment, and he wanted us to enjoy it.

"I love you," Josh said.

"I love you, too."

I knew our love wasn't perfect and we had to work on it to make it functional, but it was our love and it was perfect for us.

We were perfect for each other.

## Epilogue

Some weeks later...

We'd had night after night of sex. I had pictured this imaginary checklist I was sure Josh secretly kept hidden from me. In my head, it contained all types of sexual scenarios he made us perform in order to be certain of what we liked and didn't like to do together. So far, we'd enjoyed every single item.

Tonight was not an exception.

He had made sure I kept my promise of chasing after him—but only when we were alone and mostly in the bedroom. He was enjoying it a little too much. But so did I. Physically, Josh was everything I ever wanted in a man. His body was perfect—strong, muscular, and lean—and the sex was always amazing. I understood then what everyone meant when they said it was better when you loved the person.

It took some minutes for us to catch our breath after our performance. The task became easier once we lay our bodies on the bed, completely satiated and exhausted. Time for us to take a shower.

"Come on" I said as I stood up and arranged my hair. "Time to get cleaned up." I pirouetted around the room and headed to the bathroom.

Josh laughed behind me, following just close enough to take advantage of his position by spanking my butt. "One day, babe," he said. "One day, I'll have this ass of yours."

"Maybe." I kind of agreed with him. "Not today, though."

"No, not today," he clarified.

I was about to turn on the water, when he grabbed me from behind and kissed my neck. His hands rapidly advanced to my breast, and if I didn't move, we'd end up having sex again and maybe never taking a shower. Then again, what was the rush?

The doorbell rang and stopped us from getting any further.

"Tell you what, gorgeous. Hop inside the shower and let me see who it is," Josh said. Not exactly what I had in mind, especially after the way he'd just kissed me. But sex could wait for later. It was about six o'clock in the afternoon, and we hadn't even eaten dinner yet. Or maybe Josh had ordered takeout and was going to grab it at the door to feed me.

He made those kinds of gestures all the time.

So I agreed to let him answer the door before I walked into my shower.

I turned on the water and let it cool my body. If it was a visitor, and not a delivery driver, they were probably looking for me, since it was my apartment. So I had to hurry.

I'd just started washing myself when Josh came back inside the bathroom. He took of the pants he'd donned to answer the door. My eyes roamed over his body, starting thoughts which would only get me on my knees in front of him all over again.

"It's Marisol," he explained with a concerned look, making me completely forget about my recent plans to rock his world. "Hurry up, babe. I don't know what's going on, but she needs to talk to you."

This was unusual. "What do you mean? What happened?"

"Kass, I really don't know," he said. Josh took the soap bar and foamed my back. "She's in your living room, crying her heart out, and her son's with her."

I couldn't see his face, but he sounded worried, which only made me wonder more about what was going on. "I'm going to get showered and dressed as fast as I can, then take the kid to the park so you and his mother have some privacy. All I know is that she needs you."

"Oh, okay. Thanks."

I didn't understand what was going on, but it sounded serious—and Josh sounded seriously concerned. He'd even offered to take Sol's little boy to the park, and as far as I knew, he didn't like toddlers much.

Why would Marisol come crying to my apartment on a Thursday afternoon?

I planned to hurry and find out.

## Acknowledgments

I can't believe that I wrote and published my first book! There so many people who helped me during this exciting process.

First of all, my husband. Your love and support gave me the courage I needed to take the next step and finally publish some of my work. Thank you for taking care of our family, for all the meals you prepared, and for being so patient with me. I'm the luckiest girl in the world for having you in my life. I love you.

To my wonderful son. Thanks for understanding me. Thank you for giving me the time and space I needed to work on something that means the world to me. You and your father fill my life with happiness and love every single day.

Lindy, Cristina, and Rose, there's so much I need to thank you for. Thanks for reading my book. Thanks for telling me that you liked it. Thanks for the encouragement you gave me through the whole process. Your faith is priceless. You girls make me feel like a rock star!

My amazing editor Kat. It's difficult for any writer to share their work with anyone, to find the validation we need to carry on and get the job done. You made all of this so easy. Since our first email, I knew there was a friendship in the making. I can't be thankful enough for everything you taught me. Your advice and guidance mean so much to me. Many thanks to you.

Special thanks to James and Noriko Keating. You are an important part of my writing life and family. Thanks for your kindness. This book is a fraction of everything I've learned through you. Many blessings to your family.

Thanks to my wonderful family and friends. There's always someone next to me who's proud and giving me unconditional love. No matter how far or close you are, how old or young, I can always count on you. If I name all of you, this book will never be finished, but be sure that you're in my mind and I love you. I'm blessed because you're in my life.

## Author's Note

To all my wonderful friends and readers:

Thank you for reading my book. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. Please take a moment to leave a review.

Join my mailing list and get first access to the exclusive excerpt of The Bridesmaid's Checklist 2.

If you would like to contact me, feel free to do so. I would love to hear your comments about the story. At my blog, you can sign up for my newsletter, read my posts, and find me on social media.

Kind Regards,

K.T. Castle

## About the Author

K.T. Castle is an author/artist in progress. She's on a quest to find the words, forms, and colors to materialize the worlds and people of her imagination. She never saw herself as an incurable romantic, but lately, that's what she finds herself musing about. Love is found everywhere, regardless if it comes from a nice person, an ass—mundane or even vampire.

When she's not busy with work, in front of a computer placing many thoughts in order, she makes her best to be creative or relax with a good book and a snack. Some of her favorite characters are Sookie, Rule and Shaw, Bella, Edward, Clary, Jace, Wrath, Hollywood, Blaire, Woods, Ethan, the Sleeping Beauty, and Ariel.

Get to know her more on her social media pages.

Facebook: @KTCastle.author

Google+: K.T.Castle

Twitter: @KTCastle_author

Instagram: K.T.Castle

Goodreads: K.T. Castle

Pinterest: KTCastle_author

Website: http://www.ktcastle.com
Also by the Author

### The Bridesmaid's Checklist: Marisol's Wedding

**Kassandra's** last single friend got married in the summer. But even if she's the only unmarried girl in the pack she isn't single anymore. Now that all her friends are married and all the wedding planning is over, she has a chance to concentrate in her relationship with Josh. Or so she thought until **Marisol** visits her with a major life changing crisis. Helping her friends plan their wedding was no problem─dealing with an unexpected pregnancy is a whole other thing.

**Kassandra** is unable to decide the best way to help **Marisol** , specially when her relationship with Josh reaches a level of commitment she wasn't expecting. Both girls will have to remember the past in order to move their relationships forward.

**Kassandra** is a single, independent woman who prides herself on her own success. Now her life seems complete when Josh─a thoughtful, handsome, and the worst kind of charmer─leaves his womanizing days behind and can't seem to stay away from her. **Kassandra** keeps wondering if their single days are really over and they're ready for a monogamous and committed relationship.

**Marisol** is a married woman with the perfect life─A wonderful husband and a beautiful son. Life gets even better when her little boy is finally ready for school and Sol can go to go back to work.

Destiny is full of surprises for both girls, and sometimes the plans that you have aren't the ones in the path before you.

Join **Kassandra** and **Marisol** as they remember how they planned Sol's wedding while they solve together the difficulties in the present.

Visit my website to read an  excerpt.

### Natalie's Wedding coming soon!

