

The Human Soul:

Emotional Processing

By

Jesus (AJ Miller)

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2015 Divine Truth

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed. If you enjoyed this book, please return to Smashwords.com to discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

This ebook is a transcript of a seminar delivered by Jesus (AJ Miller) on 17th October 2009 in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia, as part of the Human Soul series. In this seminar Jesus describes practical ways to open the soul to become more emotional, including daily, weekly and monthly practices. Jesus also discusses the layers of emotions within the soul, how to release emotions, including fear, and how addictions are a major way of avoiding deeper emotions.

Reminder From Jesus & Mary

Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

Many other ebooks have been published by Divine Truth, including ebooks translated into a variety of different languages.

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Table of Contents

Emotional Processing: Part 1

1. Introduction

2. Connecting to our soul

3. Practical ways to open up our soul

3.1. Change our environment

3.1.1. Examples of children telling their parents they need to feel their emotions

3.2. Change our diet

3.2.1. Drink water

3.2.2. Eat vegan

3.3. Daily practices

3.3.1. Pray

3.3.2. Drink water and eat vegan

3.3.3. Examine feeling list

3.4. Weekly practices

3.4.1. Anger list

3.4.2. Fear list

3.4.3. Desire list

Emotional Processing: Part 2

4. Practical ways to open up our soul (continued)

4.1. Weekly practices (continued)

4.1.1. Truth vs. error list

4.1.2. An example of AJ's erroneous beliefs about shopping centres

4.2. Examples of changes in AJ's life as he released emotions

4.3. Monthly practices

4.4. Make an emotional priority list

4.4.1. "Where your treasure is, your heart will be also"

4.4.2. God's priority list of love

4.4.3. Using our free will in harmony with God's priority list

4.4.4. An example of an emotional priority list

4.4.5. AJ's past emotional priority list

4.4.6. Example of a love list out of harmony with God's Love List

4.4.7. Using the priority list as a tool to access emotions

4.4.8. Using our free will in harmony with God's priority list (continued)

4.4.9. An example of prioritising parents over children

5. Audience questions

5.1. Understanding respect and love

5.2. Free will can be used in any way but has consequences when used out of harmony with love

Emotional Processing: Part 3

6. Recognising causal emotions

6.1. Changes in the Law of Attraction

6.1.1. An example of AJ and Mary driving from Kingaroy to Brisbane

6.1.2. An example of a participant who was zenned out to Law of Attraction events

6.1.3. Creating a life to avoid our Law of Attraction

7. Layers of emotions within us

7.1. Childhood core emotions

7.1.1. The two types of childhood core emotions

7.2. Capping emotions

7.3. Denial of experience

7.4. Tools of denial

7.5. Emotions of self-deception

7.6. Only releasing capping and core emotions changes our lives

8. Fear is the primary blockage to feeling casual emotion

8.1. Fear of going crazy and that we are alone

8.2. Addressing fear

8.3. Blockages to the full expression of causal emotion

8.3.1. "I don't want to"

8.3.2. "I'm afraid to"

8.4. Working through blockages emotionally

8.4.1. An example of a woman who was angry with AJ for stopping her using candles

8.4.2. Working through "I don't want to" and "I'm afraid to"

8.5. Recognising blockages towards feeling emotion through the Law of Attraction

9. Audience questions

9.1. An example of a participant who was afraid to feel when sexually projected towards

9.2. An example of managing others' anger

10. Addictions are a major way of avoiding causal emotions

10.1. An example of feeling that receiving gifts equates to love

10.2. Anger usually indicates an addiction is not being met

10.3. Common addictions

10.3.1. Needing to be touched

10.3.2. Needing a man's praise and agreement

10.3.3. Receiving attention and being heard

10.3.4. Feeling appreciated

10.3.5. Being addicted to negative attention

10.3.6. Reading and exercise

10.3.7. Needing to be right

10.4. Identifying addictions to access causal emotions

10.4.1. Being addicted to being busy

10.4.2. An addiction to giving to others

10.4.3. Being addicted to truth

Emotional Processing: Part 1

1. Introduction

Today is going to be a bit more of a continuation of a discussion about emotions. One reason why I wanted to do this is: many of you are still struggling getting into the core emotions. So we then go down this line of, "Oh is this a capping emotion or this a self-deception emotion?" Or, "Is this a core emotion or what's going on with me?" And then after a while you get so frustrated that you just throw it all up in the air and say, "I give up." Then you come along to one of these sessions in two or three weeks' time and you get all enthused again and you go home and you try for the next two days, "Is it a capping emotion? Is it a capping emotion? Oh I give up again!"

So what we want to do is we want to really focus on some practical things that you can do in your life that will really help you access and know what's going on for you at any one point in time with regard to your emotions. So these are all practical things that I've had to do - I've mentioned them to groups before - but what I wanted to do is put them altogether. [00:12:07.07]

2. Connecting to our soul

Now what's the soul?

Participant: Your emotions, passions.

Oh you're getting sick of this aren't you! (Laughter) This is sounding like brainwashing now isn't it? I'm the master brainwasher. Another thing to add to your fear list.

Passions, desires, aspirations, inspirations, emotions, and so forth.

The soul is a container or our emotions, passions, desires, aspirations etc.

Now if I want to connect to my soul I've got to start connecting to these things. That makes sense, doesn't it? If I really want to be who I really am inside, I've got to start connecting to these things: so I've got to start connecting to my emotions if I really want to know who I am inside of myself; I've got to start connecting to my desires and my passions as well if I really want to know myself; I've got to start connecting to all of this wonderful stuff that's inside of me so that I can begin to grow and when I start receiving Divine Love, I'm going to grow more and more of these things. [00:13:46.03]

In fact I'm going to grow my emotions, my emotions are going to get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. So at the beginning sometimes we start with our emotions that are tiny - we've got to really look at it with a microscope. There's an emotion. That's where we start a lot of times. I know that's where I started. It's like walking around in a black room trying to find an emotion. (Laughter) That's how many of us feel.

The same often is with our desires, but a lot of times with our desires we're walking around totally clueless of what our personal desires are. We don't know how to even follow a desire either. Later on down the track we'll be talking about the Law of Desire (20100221 God's Laws - Law of Desire) because there is actually a law that God created about desire, and it's just as powerful as the Law of Attraction. We've talked a lot about Law of Attraction, but we've talked nothing about Law of Desire yet, and the reason why is that to actually feel a desire you've got to have some emotions. You've got to actually feel some emotions inside and work your way through them.

Now remember there are two primary influences on the soul, what is that? Truth - so these are truth-based emotions - and error-based emotions. These error-based emotions influence our passions and desires. Error is always everything in disharmony with love and truth is always everything harmonious with love.

Truth and error are the two primary influences on our soul

When we have error-based emotions and error-based desires, error-based passions and so forth, what's happening now is our soul is filling up. You can think of it like: imagine you all had a bucket of mud, we're standing here and that's AJ's soul. So let's say when we came on to the planet everyone decided to throw mud at AJ's soul. So all of you got out your buckets of mud and away you went, splat, splat, splat and eventually what happens is this soul got covered over like an egg shell with all this mud.

Now does the mud define you? No. But we think it defines us. This is the problem that we have in dealing with a lot of our emotions. We are so afraid that the mud defines us that we don't even want to wash the mud off anymore. That's what happens and yet this mud needs to wash off before we start feeling the true love-based desires and passions and longings that we have inside of ourselves. [00:17:19.24]

We're this soul with all these suppressed passions, desires and emotions inside of the soul, and what we need to do is work out how we can start accessing these emotions, passions and desires. When we are starting out it's like the beginning of a long, long, long, long, dark, dark, dark tunnel. That's what it feels like a lot of times. Just this very long, long way away from any light when we start looking down this tunnel.

It's like looking down a great big sewer. Did you ever do that when you were a child? Sometimes when you are a child you sort of investigate things a bit too much, and mum and dad don't want you to. I don't know if you've ever looked down a long sewer pipe and then decided to go for a walk or a crawl up it. Of course in Brisbane that's a little dangerous because there might be a flash flood and all of a sudden people get caught in it; but when you do that you get up to a certain way and then the fear kicks in, because you can't see the light one end or at the other end anymore. And unless you've got a light on you, it's very, very difficult to see your way and you start worrying about what's there around you, and all these fears kick in.

It's like that with our soul often when we start off this process of emotional work. Because the first sets of emotions that usually come up are some of the reasons why we shut everything down, and a lot of those emotions are quite terrifying at times, so that's what it's like.

3. Practical ways to open up our soul

We want to start looking at practical ways that we can start opening up this soul - some practical things that we can do.

3.1. Change our environment

The first practical thing that we can do is change almost everything that is around you so that you can open up and grab your soul. So what I'm saying here is "change your environment". So that's the first thing. So what do I mean by that? I mean have an environment or create an environment around you (and later on we're going to do a talk about creating a soul space for you to grow), so that in the end you can enjoy working on your emotional condition. So that's the first thing. [00:20:46.17]

Let's look at changing your environment. What kind of things should I do? Well firstly I need to have an environment that is set up so that when I get to an emotion, I can process it straight away. So this means in my own home, changing around my home a little so that I've maybe got a room that I can actually go into without getting bothered by the rest of the family and in that room there might be a great big pillow or hard bag or something like that on the floor. You can buy these plastic type baseball bats now, and you've just got to be careful about the light when you swing it. Then you can buy a tennis racket that's quite cheap and then you can get a hose, and set up this room in such a way that you can at least start allowing and processing through your anger.

But also have some nice comfortable things in it too. You need a towel in it, trust me, you will need a towel because tissues are not going to be enough for you. (Laughter) When you really get involved in your processing tissues are definitely not enough and so you need a towel. All I do with it is I just fold up the towel into three or four on the floor and I just cry and then you don't have to worry about blowing your nose or anything like that, it just all goes on the towel and then when you're done you just chuck it in the wash. (Laughter) It's really simple and it's also good use of the resources in your environment too. So set up with a towel and also anything else that strikes you as something that will work. [00:22:59.00]

Now if you live out in the bush a little, sometimes having a nice little enclave with a heap of old crockery so that you can throw it at the wall and just really let that rage flow and if you live out the bush and you've got an old car in the back yard that hasn't been taken down the dump yet, well you get a baseball bat and what you do is you bang every panel till it's totally beat up and then you get it taken down the dump. Don't laugh - these are things that people are doing. Milly's got that haven't you, Milly? Yep. So these are ways that you can help get into some of this emotion.

In the middle of a city, like in Brisbane or in Sydney or up in the Sunshine Coast or whatever, you can still process a lot of emotion quite loudly if you've got the room set up properly and you don't have to worry about your next door neighbour coming in and asking whether you're getting murdered inside, or a policeman coming a long or something like that because you're already processing. You don't have to worry about that but you can be fully involved in the emotion.

The beauty of doing that too is you can also teach the family, particularly your children, how to handle their anger and they know where to go if they're angry. So instead of them getting angry with their sibling, they go in the room and bash, bash, bash, bash and then connect and after a while what will happen is they start to learn how to do all of this as well if you've got that thing set up, if you've got that environment set up. But if you don't set up that environment, what happens? No one's got anywhere to go to express their emotion except at the person who's standing in front of them.

And remember for us as an adult, the person in front of us didn't create our emotions, they didn't create our stored emotion - they are only the trigger of our stored emotion. The person who created our stored emotion sometimes might not even be alive on Earth or they might be our father or mother or school - something happened when we were in our childhood. And quite often, because we haven't got the mechanism to express this emotion because we haven't created a location close by that we can just easily get to, what we finish up doing is we finish up projecting that emotion on the people around us, which is a damaging thing that we do to our own soul as well as to theirs. [00:25:21.24]

So change you environment. It doesn't cost very much. Set up some things that help you connect to your suppressed emotion. You don't have to go in there fifteen minutes a day and try to get to your emotion, trust me, once you set your intention your Law of Attraction will just ramp up a bit. Many of you have had that happen already, where your Law of Attraction has ramped up a bit. You're going to have some daily things that happen that will help you get into the emotion. And if you've got a room set up so you can get into that emotion without feeling embarrassment or shame and all those other things then what's going to happen is you'll get to your emotion a lot more rapidly. So that's my suggestion to you.

At home we've got a few areas around our house that we've done that with. We've got a boxing bag with a couple of baseball bats and a few gloves, then down the backyard there's a couple of very old fridges and stuff like that and a baseball bat down there so that you can get into that. The key is to allow yourself to connect emotionally and express the emotions. Now because we've got forty acres, it's a little easier to yell and scream without having to worry about locking yourself up inside perhaps. But you won't be able to do that in a town without somebody complaining. So create a room that is a bit more soundproof than the rest of your home, that allows you to connect to and express your emotion but also allows you to be in a degree of comfort after you connect. So while you're crying you can just lay on the floor and all the snot and all the dribble and everything can come out and you can just not worry about having to tidy it all up because you've got it all equipped already so that it's easy to tidy up afterwards.

When you do that you're actually setting your intention. When you actually build this location you're actually now setting an intention, and there's a lot of power in setting an intention. A really good book, if you haven't read it, was written by Dr Wayne Dyer and is called "The Power of Intention". Have a read of that if you haven't had a read of that book. It's a lovely book and it talks about the effects of setting your intention. It's very, very powerful. It's a bit of natural love stuff that he's got in it too, but look at it from the point of view of how powerful setting your intention is. So set you intention to fix up your environment. [00:27:57.12]

The other thing you'll have to do with your environment is you'll need to look at the people who are surrounding you. If you are surrounded by a heap of people who do not want you to access your emotion, it's going to be very, very hard for you to access your emotion. If you are surrounded by people who are more willing to access their emotion or have a desire to access their emotion, you're going to find it much more easy to access your emotion. You've heard of "Birds of a feather flock together"? Well you could also, if you want to get all religious about it, say, "Bad associations spoil useful habits," which is a quote from the Bible; but either way whatever the people are around us is usually what we've attracted because we have desires in ourselves that are very similar.

So if I have a desire to shut down my emotions, Ken has a desire to shut down his emotions, Mary has a desire to shut down her emotions, we're all going to get together and we're going to help each other shut down each other's emotions. Now is that going to help me access my emotion? Obviously not; but if I know that there are other people who are actually more open emotionally that I am, then spending a bit of time with them is going to help you. So allow yourself to make some choices to spend some time with people who are more open emotionally. Allow yourself to do that.

Also look at - in your home environment - is your partner and the living arrangements in such a way that they allow you to deal with your emotions? Now what I've done every time I've lived in somebody's home, which - when I've travelled - I've done that quite often, is I explain to them up front, I am going to process my emotion. That means sometimes I am going to cry in your house and it means sometimes I am going to scream in your house, and I'm going to beat the pillows in your house if that's alright and if I break them I'll replace them for you. And I explain to them why - what's going on. Now when you do that with your family, you are automatically making it all more acceptable. You're also making it more acceptable for your children to hear it, and they just say, "Oh mum's off again processing her emotion." Then after a while you'll find your children will come to you, "Mum, you need to go and process your emotion." [00:30:30.19]

3.1.1. Examples of children telling their parents they need to feel their emotions

We have these friends overseas and one child I'm thinking of in particular is a nine year old girl. She goes up to her mum and says, "Mum you need to process your emotions about this, this, this and this; go now." The reason why is the daughter's got pain in certain areas of her body that she knows is connected with mum's emotions. She just goes straight to mum and tells her.

We've got another friend who's now moved down to New South Wales and her five year old son comes up to her and tells her what emotions she's denying and when she basically needs to process them. He's also telling her what she needs to do when he's processing his emotions because she tries to hug him and he says, "No that doesn't work, mum. You've got to stop trying to hug me." This is a five year old by the way - "You've got to stop trying to hug me mum because if you hug me I can't get into the emotion like I need to. You've got to wait until I'm finished, and then you can hug me." And he's mediumistic so he's got these spirit friends talking to him about how to access his emotions. So he tells mum what they're saying about how he's going to access his emotions. So it's very powerful. You want to say a bit more about Zen?

Mary: That it's worth mentioning that his guides changed after mum dealt with some emotions.

Oh yes, that's right. What happened was that like many of you mothers, you will find that when your little boy runs around with a machine gun thing that he's made out of wood going, "Rrr" at everybody you start getting a bit afraid that you've created this monster that wants to kill everybody. What actually happened was that Zen had a spirit with him who loved guns and Zen then got influenced into loving guns but the reason why was because mum had an emotion about it all. When mum worked through that emotion, the spirit who loved guns left the child and then a different group of spirits came to the child. Zen the child, he's five years old and he told mum what had happened. He told mum, "When you were angry with me, there was this little boy with me who loved guns all the time. But when you started dealing with that emotion, that little boy went away." So he's telling her moment by moment what she's doing, what she's denying and what affect that's having on his Law of Attraction. So it's very powerful once you understand all of that to see what's going on. [00:33:17.13]

So changing your environment has this beautiful effect of firstly bringing all of your intention together - you're now actually doing something that's in harmony with love for yourself. So that's the first suggestion.

3.2. Change our diet

The second thing is to change your diet. These are all just practical things.

3.2.1. Drink water

Number one thing here: drink water. I know that might sound funny, but nowadays a lot of people don't actually drink water very much. What do they do? They drink a cup of tea or go and get a can of coke.

Now I drink five litres a day on the average, and when I drink five litres a day, every time any spirits come to me they've told me that I should be drinking more. So that gives you an idea. Now the reason why drinking water is so important is because water hydrates your physical body. In hydrating your physical body the emotional adjustments you make when you release an emotion cause physical changes in your body; those physical changes cause a lot of releasing of toxins in your body, so a lot of toxins get released and water is the mechanism by which all toxins in your body get processed.

So when you're on the Divine Love Path you need to drink a lot of water. You're processing emotions which are causing a whole heap of toxins to hit your system and you need to drink a lot. So ever since I've began doing it, I've drank around five to six litres of water every day. So if I haven't polished off two of these bottles that are 2.4 litres by about 5pm, then normally I'm saying, "Hmm I wonder what I was doing today, why didn't I love myself?" You will find that after a while your whole body will get used to that. You will also smell a lot better because water hydrates all of your system, all the toxins get pushed out as you go. So change your diet, first thing is with water.

I was going to tell you about this lady: we were having a discussion, there would of been about forty or fifty people in Florida in the US, and this lady put up her hand and she said, "Are you telling me that I can't be at-one with God while I drink diet coke?" And I said, "Yes actually, you are not going to be at-one with God by drinking diet coke." That is by the way a valid answer because you are not loving your body if you drink diet coke. So it's all about lack of love of self. And she said, "I don't want to be at-one with God then." (Laughter) Fair dinkum. She got up and left the discussion. Yeah. It's amazing what people will do to sacrifice their relationship with God, and drinking diet coke for her was the critical point. [00:36:58.17]

So change your diet, drink a lot of water. Now I'm not saying you can't have a cuppa or whatever you want to do but water is processed completely differently by your body than any other drink. So you can have water in something and that's totally different for your body than having just water by itself. Your body processes it completely differently because all the other processing has to go through the filtering system of your body whereas water can be just absorbed immediately without needing to be processed, so that's why it's really important to drink water.

Drinking water also has the effect of challenging some of your emotions and you'll find that when you start drinking a lot of water. One of the first emotions is: I need to go to the toilet too often! And you'll start understanding that you don't care about yourself enough, you're not in contact with your body enough. You'll start actually realising that most of the time your body is dehydrated.

Now your body is seventy something percent water. Now you think about your mass, many of us are in between the fifty to one hundred kilogram bracket, and seventy percent of that, if I am one hundred kilograms, its seventy kilograms. So seventy kilograms of my mass is water. Now that's a lot of water circulating around your system and that needs to be hydrated, kept going, that system needs to be kept going. So drink water. Now when you start drinking water you'll find that a lot of emotions will start getting triggered because of it. That is something that's a natural by-product of drinking water.

3.2.2. Eat vegan

The next thing to do with your diet is eat vegan. Now these are just suggestions, you don't have to do any of them. Eat vegan. The definition of vegan is no animal products in your diet: so no meat, no eggs, no milk, no animal products at all in your diet.

Participant: Hi AJ. I'm struggling with protein.

Yep, good. Good question. By the way, your body works this way, there are nine different amino acids that you need to construct protein, there are two different things that affect your bodies' construction of protein: one of them is whether you get those nine amino acids; the second thing is your emotions.

Now your emotions have much more of a determining factor than even the ingestion of amino acids but if you have a variety of greens and fruits and vegetables in your diet and they are all raw, you will not have trouble with protein. In particular if you also have nuts and legumes - you know what legumes are? So things like alfalfa sprouts, mung bean sprouts, and all those kind of things. If you have nuts and legumes and fruit and vegetables, you will get the nine essential amino acids to construct protein.

So then there's only one thing that can affect your body's losing protein or losing muscle mass and that is your body's own ability to construct muscle mass from those amino acids, which is all an emotion - it's all to do with an emotion. [00:40:38.00]

What I found when I went and started eating vegan was I lost nearly thirty kilograms before I dealt with the emotions that caused me to continue to lose weight; once I dealt with those emotions that caused me to lose weight, I started putting that weight back on again.

By the way one thing I must say with drinking water, if you drink the amount of water I'm suggesting, you will need to have salt in your diet, not table salt, but mineral salts. I love salt. So have mineral salts in your diet and that will sort out a lot of things when it comes to drinking so much water.

If you have nuts, legumes, fruits and vegetables, you can put on muscle mass actually. In fact the fourth strongest man in the world four years ago, I think Josh told me, was totally vegan. So there is no reason why you can't eat that way and still retain muscle mass.

Now eating vegan is going to really challenge you. Now when I say vegan I'm going to also suggest another thing, and that is make sure a lot of it or most of it is raw. You will find as you give up processed food, lots of emotions get triggered. You will find that you'll be so addicted to some of these things that you've been having every day that you think are a normal part of your diet. You'll be so surprised, trust me. When you actually connect with the emotional reason why you eat it, you'll be surprised what the emotional reasons are.

Now getting back to the emotional reason about protein: most of the time it comes from a relationship issue with either our father or our mother and their belief system and how much we want to please their belief system; so look at that particular issue if you're having a problem keeping muscle mass on a vegan diet. If you change your diet - this is just a practical thing you can do - you will find it gives your whole body a shakeup. When it gives your body a shakeup you'll find emotions start coming up because we use food and drink a lot to suppress emotion.

Now many of us in the past have come home from work, get out one beer, first beer goes down really well, so that's one gone pretty quick. Second beer you can enjoy, sit down and enjoy. After two beers you're starting to feel relaxed a bit - what emotion just got dealt with? So there are a lot of emotions that just got dealt with in that process you see? And if you come home and instead drink some water you'll notice the emotions that are still there that you can suppress using the alcohol.

When you get up in the morning and you go for that first cup of coffee, there are some big emotions in there between your sleep and your awake state; there are some big emotions going on there - let yourself start triggering them - you'll find that they're related to emotional issues.

Now by the way you could also go down the track of saying, "I'm just going to do everything that's love of self or love of others or love of my environment." Now if you love your environment you will definitely eat vegan because if you knew what happened to animals to give you all the other products, including of course the animals' deaths, then of course if you loved them you wouldn't want to do that.

The truth is also if you love your body you will always drink water. So if you can't drink water and you're finding it difficult to drink water, look at how much you don't love yourself because there's a whole big range of emotions in there generally. You see if I have a focus of love of self and a focus of love of others and a focus of love of my environment, these things would automatically be happening for you anyway. So let's look what else we can do. [00:45:03.15]

3.3. Daily practices

So you can say that's something you can practice daily. So what I might do is break down some things in to daily, weekly, monthly. And what I want to do is give you some suggestions that don't take too much of your time because I know many of you are busy during the day, you've got kids to get off to school, you've got work to go to and all these things. So we want to give you some practical things to access your emotions that are not going to take big chunks out of your day.

3.3.1. Pray

So let's look at daily, what can I do daily? Number one, pray. Remember what prayer is? Prayer is a passionate longing from your feelings, from you, directed towards God. It doesn't require your thought very much - it requires your feelings. So practice praying during the day as you're doing other things.

You're walking around doing something, you might be doing the vacuuming, practice praying, feeling your emotions towards God, practice doing that. Long for God's Love to enter you, practice praying as you're doing everything, just as a normal part of your life. We can do that without even changing a lot of our time.

One thing that I feel myself though is that if you can have at least a half an hour of time during the day where you can have some privacy to pray, that's a really good thing if you can arrange it. So for many of you who've got children, that might be difficult to arrange, or maybe when they get off to bed, maybe you can have a half hour where you just lay down and just feel the longing for God in that half an hour. Just give yourself time to pray. That's really, really important.

3.3.2. Drink water and eat vegan

We've already said drink water and we've already said eat vegan. These are things daily.

3.3.3. Examine feeling list

What else can we do on a daily basis? Well in the seminar outline that I'm going to put on the internet, I've got on the last page a list of dis-satisfied emotions. They are the emotions you experience when something's going wrong in your life, when things are not feeling good for you. There's a whole list of them, a whole page, and what I used to do myself is every single morning I would get up and just briefly scan over the page and put a ring around, or a tick next to, or write down on a separate page, the emotion that I woke up with. So if I woke up afraid, there's a whole list of emotions under fear, and I'd look at them - yes that one, yes that one, yes that one. Then I would carry that with me, and then I'd just pull it out during the day and remind myself that I woke up this morning in that emotion. [00:48:22.00]

And then what I do is I take notice of my Law of Attraction during the day and I pull out my piece of paper and say, "Oh that's that emotion again being triggered. Oh that's that emotion again being triggered, there we go, it's being triggered through the day as well." So allow that to happen.

You see a lot of dealing with your emotions is about awareness, becoming aware of what we're feeling. If we don't know what we're feeling how can we feel it? So we need to become aware of our feelings, we need to connect with our feelings, and if we've got these little tools or mechanisms to connect with our feelings, it's really great. So what I had to do for quite a few years actually is do that just to help me connect with emotion because I was very, very, very disconnected from emotion and I needed something to do to connect me with myself.

So examine the feeling list. Now you could do that two times a day, three times a day or just once a day or whatever. Soon as you get up just have a brief look; you could have it plastered next to your bedside table if you wanted. I used to just have a few printouts and I used to just ring around the emotion so then I didn't even have to write it down; then I'd fold up the piece of paper and whack it in my pocket and just take it around with me all day and then look at it occasionally; then I would give myself a bit of time each time I looked at it and just say, "Am I still feeling that?"

Now it could have been a dream that caused it, couldn't it? You woke up with a dream that caused that particular emotion. But I know what a lot of your lives are like, you wake up in the morning by the sound of a bell, it goes off and you bolt upright in bed, and then all of a sudden you're in action almost. Within a few moments - you don't give yourself time to wake or anything - within a few moments everything's in action. Well that doesn't allow you to feel that emotion that you woke up with, and it causes you to distract yourself from that emotion.

Participant: Are you saying that we pre-empt every emotion, every experience we're going to have from dream time to that day?

Not every experience, no, but a lot of times in our sleep state there are two things that are happening. One is that we might have a dream of all the things that we were denying the previous day.

For example if you had a feeling the previous day during the day that was getting shut down a lot during the day, you will actually dream about it generally overnight. This is why sometimes people in your previous day were in your dreams that night. The reason why is that there are often a whole set of emotions that we're suppressing in these interactions with people over days or weeks. So take notice of your dreams because they tell you the things you're not processing in your awake state.

The second thing they could be doing is just sleep state experiences that you're remembering but even they are Law of Attraction events that you're attracting in your sleep state; so either way you wake up with an emotion, connect with the emotion, allow yourself to connect; even if it's the middle of the night, but if it's not the middle of the night and it's the morning, allow yourself to connect with the emotion. [00:51:45.02]

But what often happens when we wake up in the morning is we wake up to the sound of a bell and then we're in action, which gets us way away away from that emotion and gets us away from a lot of truth. If you can adjust your life so that you wake up naturally without an alarm clock it's going to do amazing things for your life. So that's just a bit of side advice - throw away the clocks. You'll notice I don't wear one and we don't have them at home either. Oh there is one in our kitchen. But in our eco tent where we live and wake up and go to sleep, there's no clock there at all. So throw away the clocks and allow yourself to start waking up naturally. When you wake up naturally you'll wake up a certain time, and you can even pre-program the time the night before so it's not like you can't wake up ready for work but you can wake up naturally out of the alpha state and also know what it was that you were denying emotionally.

Okay, so start off in the morning with the feeling list.

Now if you just do those four things in a day you'll become far more aware of what's going on inside of you emotionally. That's all you need to do really in the day. Then you'll start getting quite connected with yourself and then of course you need to deal with these emotions, but we're not going to talk about that until a bit later - these are just some practical things.

Participant: Hi AJ, on that water one and being a vegan, once every year, or sometimes several times a year, I do a fast and Joy does one with me as well. Emotions do surface in the first five days but I never knew what to do with them, so I just suppressed them.

Exactly.

Participant: So I'm planning on starting one on Monday so hopefully today I can glean what to do with those emotions when they surface.

Your body is totally capable of surviving a lot of days actually without food.

Participant: Well we do forty days and over that period of time, yes a lot surfaces for you.

Yeah, so the key is connect with it emotionally otherwise nothing's really benefiting.

Participant: Other than you lose a few kilos.

Yeah, you lose a few kilos but you put them back on again as soon as you start eating, that's the trouble.

3.4. Weekly practices

Let's look at the weekly thing, once a week. What can we do weekly?

3.4.1. Anger list

First thing: make a list of everything that you can remember during the week that made you angry. It might range from a dog next door barking all night to your husband cheating on you or something like that. List all the things that made you angry in that one week.

Your anger list is a very important thing you need to do because remember anger is the choice to avoid the next thing, which is make a fear list. You get into anger because you're choosing to avoid experiencing your fear. There might be another reason and that is you have a heap of expectations that you're also ignoring that are unloving but we'll talk about those separately. Generally your anger is your choice to avoid your fears. [00:56:04.15]

3.4.2. Fear list

So if I have an anger list of all the things that I was angry about during the week, I am now able to identify the things that I am afraid of from that anger list. See a lot of times we don't equate fear with anger do we? When somebody makes us angry we say, "Oh that was an idiot, what an idiot there." Driving along, "Oh look at that idiot! I think I'll go right up to his bum, sit on his backside just to prove to him that I'm really upset with him!" Or, "Look at this guy tailgating me, I'm going to slow right down and slow right down and see what he does then!" (Laughter) We have all of these responses without really noticing what's driving them emotionally.

So anger list, fear list. Now the anger list is not just the things that made you frighteningly angry; they are the things that you were just a smidge annoyed about during the week because there are big things under that - big emotions under the smidge of annoyance.

So the fear list is not just the things that you're terrified about - it's the things that you were afraid to do or you arranged yourself around to not do. You know how we do that during the week? In the Western world we have so many resources at our fingertips, that what we finish up doing is we start constructing our environment in such a way to avoid all of our fears, and we don't even notice we're doing that after a while. After a while we feel, "Yeah, I've got a really comfortable life, it's so lovely, we get up and do this in the morning we get up and do that." And how do you feel when something changes? "Quite annoyed actually," but anyway we just skip over that bit and we get back into, la ta dah ta dah and away we go, living a certain life that's all being modified around my fears so that I don't have to feel my fears anymore. [00:58:30.13]

So when you make a fear list you can actually start saying to yourself, "Ah, I could challenge this fear this week." So what's the fear? So during the week the fear was that whenever I talked to my mother she always said something to me and I got really annoyed with her. So I got really annoyed with what my mother said to me on the phone this week. That was in my anger list. Remember annoyed is the choice to avoid my fear. What's my fear? I'm afraid of actually facing my mother and saying, "Actually mum that doesn't feel very good at all, you're not loving me while you do that. I felt quite angry about it and I'm trying to get underneath and look at what is the real emotion but I do feel that you are not being loving." Now most of us would be very afraid to say that because that will trigger the reason why we avoid it. And the reason why we avoid it is she might then get angry with us and then we feel mummy's disapproval and we're so afraid of feeling mummy's disapproval you see because it means that we're not very loveable, and we're avoiding the emotion of being unlovable. So there's a long chain of events.

So the anger list, which was the annoyance with my mum – listed - identified it was a choice that I got into: a choice to be in a rage with my mum or just even be a smidge annoyed with my mum; it was a choice made because I avoided the fear of living in truth with my mum; it's a way for me to get out of living in truth with her. So instead I make a list. My fear list is: I'm afraid of my mother, I'm afraid of telling my truth to my mother.

So next week I could then make a goal - tell the truth to my mother. If my mother rings this week, I'm going to tell her the truth. Last week I was really upset with what she said. And when she doesn't want to listen to that I'll say to her, "Mum you don't want to listen to that I'm going to hang up now, and the next time you call me I'm going to raise the same issue with you again and we're going to just hammer this issue till it's done." And that would then be facing the fear of what mummy feels with you?

The fear list is a very, very good way of accessing your underlying emotions. Even if you don't access an underlying emotion, at least you'll know what you're afraid of. Now unfortunately your fear is like a prison. If you can imagine every single fear you have is like a bar in your life. You can think of it like you're in a round cage, like one of those bird cages, with all these wires. You imagine that every single fear you have is like this wire in a cage that you're just sitting inside. Now I'm sure the bird feels fairly safe inside of this cage when a cat's right outside the cage pawing at the cage but that's about the only time the bird enjoys the cage, really, isn't it? Aside from that it's a very constraining and confining location. And this is what our lives have become in many cases because we're so used to working around our fears that our fears have become like this cage that we're just sitting inside of, sitting there terrified, and we can't move except when we don't have one of those fears. [01:02:01.10]

When you've got a fear list happening, remember if we do this once a week, you'll see your fear list change if you process emotion. Now if you have a journal, a diary or something like that, you can just have a little book: this week's fear list, write it all down, and just the act of writing it down actually causes some changes to occur inside of you because you're now wanting to know what you're afraid of rather than ignoring what you're afraid of. You're wanting to know what you're angry about rather than ignoring what you're angry about, and that has an expansion of your awareness.

3.4.3. Desire list

The third thing to do is a desire list. A desire list is forward looking. So what you do is you look at last week, did you actually do anything you really wanted to do last week? That's the first question to ask yourself and if you didn't, why? You will make lots of excuses like, "I couldn't because..." and every one of those "because" has a huge emotion in them. Every one of them has a huge emotion in them because if you're not doing what you desire there's always an emotional reason - an emotional reason that's disharmonious with love of yourself.

So allow yourself to look at your desire list. Make a desire list for the next week and do at least one of those things on your desire list, at least one of them, because if you're not doing at least one of them, you're not loving yourself very much.

So let's say one on your desire list might be, go for a walk in a rainforest. So organise it: do that during the week. Your desire might be: lay in the bath with all the kids gone, husband out. Just lay there, relax: do that. Make sure that happens this week. Your desire list might be have sex with my partner every night this week. Do that. Of course you'll need their agreement, but do that.

Make a desire list and then at the end of the desire list, look at how much of it wasn't satisfied because you know where the source of many of your dis-satisfied emotions comes from? From not getting what you desired.

Now everything that you desire that you don't get: there is a Law of Attraction emotion in. So if I'm desiring to get my bath time this week and the whole of the week I don't get my bath time, there's a Law of Attraction there where I'm not getting what I desire, and I need to look at why. You'll find it might be love of self, it might be that no one around you wants to give you the time, so you're going to need to address that with your family and your partner and your children: why can't I have some time for myself?

Do you see what I'm saying? Every one of those things that you don't get that's on your desire list has an emotional reason for it and if you can allow yourself to look at it emotionally. [01:05:22.22]

You don't use this to go and blame someone and say, "I wrote a desire list, I wrote down five desires, that's all I had this week, five desires and I didn't even get one of those desires." That's not what I'm suggesting. What I'm suggesting is look at the desire list at the end of the week, look at what you didn't receive and then emotionally access why you're not receiving.

Now you may need to at some point have a chat with your family about that because maybe one of the reasons why you're not getting what you want is because you're doing everything for everyone else and nobody wants to do anything for you and you may need to address that emotionally; but deal with it emotionally first before you talk about it with somebody outside.

This desire list will help you look at emotional reasons why you avoid your desire. Now some of your desire list will be just a desire for the week. Some of your desires that start appearing on this list you'll find will be universal type desires that affect your entire life. It will just dawn on you one day: oh my whole thing that I enjoy the most in my entire life is ... and then put whatever you put in there. You start connecting with your personality and what you desire the most and then you start seeing yourself differently. It's a really important part.

Now usually you can do an anger list in ten minutes. Fear list, well it's based on the anger list so usually you can access that in ten minutes or so, and a desire list you can do that. Or you may do it a bit differently. Sometimes what I do, and what I have done in the past is just had a book open, on the table or somewhere and whenever I'm working during the day or thinking during the day and I realise oh there's a desire, I go to my thing and just write it down. Then I look at that at the end of the week. So a lot of times you can do these things and fit them quite easily into your life and still be what the world wants you to be - this nice productive individual. Of course that's also something we need to look at in the lists. [01:07:54.17]

Emotional Processing: Part 2

4. Practical ways to open up our soul (continued)

4.1. Weekly practices (continued)

4.1.1. Truth vs. error list

So see how you go making those three lists and I also add a fourth list for myself: a truth versus error list. This is a really good little exercise to do if you can get the time to do it in a week; so again it's something that you can do each week. Now one of the main reasons why most of us have a lot of difficulty accessing emotion is because we have a lot of beliefs inside of us that are erroneous beliefs about emotion and about ourselves in fact; it's really important even intellectually to be able to see that there's a difference and that will help you actually access the emotion.

So let me give you an example of a few of these types of emotions. The error emotion is, "I cannot cope with this emotion." How many of you have felt that? "I just can't cope with this emotion." Well that is an error belief. So the thing is if we don't identify a lot of these beliefs that are errors that just pop up into our awareness, what's going to finish up happening is that we're going to keep allowing them to exist within us. What's the truth? God made me able to experience everything: that's the truth, that's the truth I'm aiming for. [00:07:43.27]

Now remember that truth is not going to enter me in my mind, it can't enter me in my mind, it's going to enter me emotionally eventually. It can only enter me emotionally when this error is released from me, this feeling that I have that I can't cope with this emotion. But if I have at least my mind going, "God made me able to cope with this emotion; my error belief is I cannot cope with this emotion, that's going to shut down the experience of an emotion." But if I have this truth belief also flicking over of God made me able to experience every emotion, then there's a higher likelihood I'll get to the emotion.

So if I say I cannot cope with these emotions, what would I do emotionally to do that? I would go into that emotion, "I can't cope, I can't cope, I can't cope and I'm crying and crying and crying because I can't cope, I can't cope." That's actually a release of a causal emotion because this casual emotion is actually controlling my access to other emotions. A lot of our blockages to causal emotion are causal emotions that we need to release that are belief systems that we have about ourselves. So this belief system "I cannot cope with the emotion" is false. God made you able to cope with absolutely everything within you.

So what I'm suggesting to you is every week, notice some of the belief systems that you have that are false, that if you were in an at-onement state you probably wouldn't believe; beliefs that you wouldn't believe if you were connected with God one hundred percent of the time.

How about this one: error belief, I can't trust God. Many of us have that belief by the way. "The only person on this planet or anywhere in this universe that I can trust is myself." That's what we believe, so we don't go and trust anyone. What's the truth belief? God is the most trustworthy being in the universe. God is the most trustworthy.

So if I notice this "I can't trust God" come up during the week, I can then go into that emotionally; I can actually start feeling what that feels like to not be able to trust anyone else but myself. I can actually connect with that emotionally and the truth belief is where I'm headed for. The beauty of knowing where you're heading for is it's like all of a sudden there's clarity, even when you're in the midst of a terrible emotion. You can have clarity sometimes because you know that the truth is the flipside if you like.

Now the danger of doing this by the way is that you use it as an intellectual exercise to avoid the emotional belief. I'm not saying you do that. All I'm saying is list your errors and then write down next to them what you believe the truth is if you were connected with God, one hundred percent of the time. That's what I'm suggesting and that'll help you deal with the error because a lot of times we have these terrible beliefs in us that are not true that then dominate our life. [00:11:16.02]

How about this one: I cannot cope with pain.

The whole headache tablet industry is based on that belief. I've got a headache, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang; that's just too much, I've got to go and get my tablet you know. Pop the tablet and it's all good for a little while and the next day, bang, bang, bang. It's far better if we can deal with the emotional cause.

So how can I get into this emotional cause? I actually don't take the headache pill and what I do is I feel this bang, bang, bang, bang thing going and I allow myself to connect with my sadness about this pain. I allow myself to connect to this fear that I have about this pain, because I can. The truth belief is: I can cope with everything. God made you able to cope with everything including pain.

Do you know - down the track in your existence - you will have something painful happen to yourself and you'll heal it straight away. You won't even consider pain in your life anymore. You think of how many times in a day-to-day life that you consider pain right now. You think about it. Why do you wear certain clothes, why do you do certain things? Why do you drive a certain way? Why do you put on your seatbelt? There are all these different things. I know you need to put your seatbelt on from a law perspective but what is driving you with everything you do? Why do you avoid going and doing some fun things? Because I might get hurt. Why do you cross the road a certain way? I might get hurt the other way. There are all these things that we do, most of the time unknowingly, that are actually driven by this belief that I've got to avoid pain.

Now obviously if I have got this belief going on, I'm like in a prison, at its extreme I won't do anything, and this is why some people don't do anything. Because they are so afraid that they feel that anything they do is going to create pain, so they don't do anything. So we need to allow ourselves to look at this belief system. So write down these belief errors. Now you will notice if you deal with causal emotions, your belief systems will change and you will look back through your diary and you'll go, "Wow, I had that belief a year ago, and I don't even think of that now."

4.1.2. An example of AJ's erroneous beliefs about shopping centres

I'll give you an idea of some beliefs I had. I could not go shopping. This was when I was in my twenties. I was married and we had two children. I could not go shopping. I was so afraid to go into a shopping centre. The reason why I was so afraid is every time I walked into the shopping centre it felt like there were thousands of eyes looking at me all the time and I just got freaked out about it so much that in the end I used to stay in the car and I used to do some work or I'd read a book while my wife went shopping. I was that uncomfortable going shopping. My wife loved shopping, so it was a mixture of error-based emotions.

So what did I do after that? After I'd broken up from the relationship, I realised I was in such a mess emotionally and I was in such a dark place emotionally, I didn't know what to do. Then I realised I just had these huge fears, like these bars that were my prison - I just had this prison of my own making. So I decided I had to start challenging my fears.

So what I did was I decided twice a week that I'd go to a shopping centre. The biggest shopping centre near the place that we lived was one of these great big centres, similar in size to Chermside, down the road from here. I decided I'd go there twice a week for four hours at a time and all I would do was I would have to stay in the environment for four hours. Now whether I shopped or not was immaterial, I had to just stay there. I just made myself stay there. [00:15:51.01]

Lots of emotions came up, because initially when I stayed there I couldn't walk in to the shops to even get my clothes. I would only ever buy clothes where there weren't any shop assistants. Who's ever done that in their life? Yeah, there are probably a few. All I would do is I would only go into a shop where there were no assistants because I was so afraid to even ask for someone to help me find something.

Initially it took a few months, and all I did was I sat on a chair in the shopping centre. After a while - and it didn't take long - that became quite scary because someone would walk past me in their shopping, and even in a big shopping centre eventually you get to walk past again at another time. Then I'd start noticing people notice me sitting in the same place two hours later and looking at me and projecting at me, "What's that idiot doing?" And so I was so sensitive to that emotion I'd then realise: I'm in the same place, I can't stay in the same place here, so I have to work my way through this projection. Then I started walking around a bit and then all these people were still looking at me and I was trying to hide and whatever else and then after a while I could walk comfortably.

During this time, twice a week I went to a fellow who did mind/body work, and he would a lot of times actually trigger emotions that the next week I'd notice that I had let go when I went to the shopping centre. So I got to the point then by the end of a few months that I had dealt with all of my shopping phobias. And as Mary will tell you now, I'm a shopaholic, but that's a different story.

Now when we go shopping it's really fun. I really enjoy shopping now. So when Mary's shopping for women's clothes I go in the women's shop and pick up all the stuff off the racks and put them in for her to try them on, and so Mary spends all of her time just sitting in the booth putting on different clothes and coming out basically and I just really love the whole experience - it's really joyful.

Mary: And women really project at you when you have an attentive male in a shop. It's really different for me.

So you get these shop assistants that are women, some of them like the fact that I do it for Mary, others are going, "Rrr" at Mary. So there are all these different projections that happen now as a result but I really enjoy the process. So now it's really joyful for me shopping.

The other problem I had is I would never go up to somebody and ask them where something was. How many of you feel the same way? You'd never go to somebody and ask? A few of you. Well I was terrible with it. I would never ask anybody. What I would do is I'd get on the Internet, I'd check this out, I'd check that out, I'd read books, I'd do everything but ask somebody who might know - everything, if you could imagine that. So often it took me months to find out how to do something that I could have just gone and asked somebody or phoned them, but I didn't want to, so that really triggered me. So what I started to do then was every time I went into a shopping centre I started just asking people - even when I already knew - just to challenge this emotion in me, and it brought up lots of emotions for me of not being worthy, being misunderstood, and lots of other emotions. So lots of emotions came up as a result. [00:19:21.21]

4.2. Examples of changes in AJ's life as he released emotions

So what I'm suggesting is, with the fear list that you have, start doing things to challenge some of those fears. Next week I'll give a talk about fear again (20091024 The Human Soul - Fear Revisited), and we'll talk about fear in a lot more detail - psychologically and also physiologically what's happening inside of you with regard to fear, but then I will start looking at how can we challenge these fears emotionally. And what I'll do is I'll make a heap of suggestions of movies to watch, books to read and so forth, to trigger these fears, to help you feel them and release them inside of you.

The beauty of the journal for me was that I could look back and a year later I could say, "Wow, I don't even have that feeling in me anymore." It's a beautiful thing to not have a controlling feeling in you anymore and to notice it. And after a while you'll notice you'll drop one, two, five, ten. I'm not scared of my mother anymore. I'm not scared of my father anymore. I'm not scared of somebody's anger anymore. I'm not scared of what a spirit might do to me anymore. I don't worry anymore about an accident happening to me.

I was insured to the hilt at one point in my life. You know what it's like - you go and get all this medical insurance, you get all this accident dismemberment coverage, I got that as well. You know the coverage if you get sick \- disability coverage, I got that as well. Life and death cover, of course you know I got that as well. And so I was literally spending over a thousand dollars a month on insurance, just on personal insurance; over twelve thousand dollars every year just on personal insurance because that's how worried I was about my life.

So why is that all happening? Because there's all this fear and it all needs to be worked its way through. Of course my Law of Attraction was that some of those things would happen to me because I was afraid of them happening. And so I was sick quite often, when I say quite often, usually once a month, usually for a week or so, I was sick. The answer to that was - get more insurance. Not deal with the emotion. It wasn't until I started dealing with the emotion that I'd go, "Oh, I haven't got asthma anymore, wow!" And all that was a few months of crying about some causal emotional things, but it just disappeared completely, like gone.

I used to take permanent anti-histamines. Who's a permanent antihistamine user? None of you? What's wrong with you? (Laughter) I was permanent with it though. I used to take Zadine and all these other types of things back in my day when I was taking it. I would go almost anywhere and I would get allergic to it. A cat, or if we drove down past a wheat field, bang, I'd be allergic to that and my eyes would be streaming, my nose would be running. The reason why I still carry hankies around with me is because I've just got into this physical habit now because if I didn't have a hanky with me I was dead. I was a goner. Now I cry all the time so it's handy. [00:23:11.08]

But the beauty was once I started crying, all of those disappeared, all of them. And I had my journal so I know that - I know all of that happened. I know what I was like and of course my mother and father know what I was like too with regard to all of those things because they had to put up with my years and years and years of having these ailments. I don't have any of them anymore, at all. And I know what was the release, the release was a lot of crying, there were a lot of tears and each thing had certain things involved in it: my allergy to cats linked to my father's hatred of cats and there were all these other things that happened. And once they were released, they all disappeared. And the beauty of your journal and also looking at your error list and also doing these things every week is you keep a track of that.

You see a lot of times, many of us don't realise that we're changing and so when we go through a hard time, we give up; because we don't realise that actually, the other hard times we went through, we got through and we changed and we released some things. So it's really great having these mechanisms, if you like, to keep track of the fact that you're changing. And sometimes it's so interesting reading the journal of a person who's on the Divine Love Path, really interesting. You'll see the areas that you haven't dealt with in a year, you'll see the areas that you've dealt with in a year and you'll see what's going on inside of yourself. And you can't fool yourself when you have a journal happening. You can't fool yourself that you've dealt with something when a year ago you wrote down about it and yesterday you wrote down the same thing: so you can't fool yourself with that. [00:25:01.14]

4.3. Monthly practices

Monthly: just one thing on your monthly list - plan something once a month that you really love and make sure you do it. So this is all if you're having trouble connecting with your emotions. When you're not having trouble connecting with the emotions, a lot of these things will happen automatically by the way. You won't have to plan once a month to do something that's loving to yourself because you'll be starting to do it every day. You won't have to every week look at your fear list because every moment you'll know what you're afraid of but initially it takes a bit of effort to get from this place where I'm totally in the dark with regard to all of my emotions, and what I want is total exposure with all my emotions: that's what I want and I need to get from one place to the other place, and what I'm suggesting is the different methods that I've used, to get from one place to the other place.

Now I don't need to make a list anymore. I know what I desire; every single moment almost I know what I desire. I know what I'm afraid of right now. I know what makes me angry - very little now - but I still know what makes me angry and I know it moment by moment and I connect with the emotion that's underneath moment by moment, just about one hundred percent of the time - not all the time - but almost one hundred percent of the time I can feel the emotion and connect to it straight away, and it doesn't worry me where I am.

4.4. Make an emotional priority list

Participant: Could you share some of your desires?

Some of my desires? Well what I want to do is actually list God's priority list for you and then I'll talk about my desires with that list.

Let's look at this next thing first, which is a priority list. This is another thing that I do. You can do this once a month or once a week or up to you. I actually call it my love list, or my love priority list.

4.4.1. "Where your treasure is, your heart will be also"

In the first century I said these words, "Where your treasure is, your heart will be also." Do you know what I mean by that? Where your treasure is, your heart will be also. You see what you finish up doing most in your life is telling you what you really want. Most people don't realise that; most people don't realise that because many of us are working forty hours a week, which is a fair slice of our life. How many hours are there in a week? I think there are 168. 40 over 168; that's about one quarter. So for around about one quarter of my life I'm working. Now that job better be a damn good job that I really love because that's one quarter of my life that's just disappearing down the tube if it's not. Can you see that? [00:29:16.07]

How many hours do I sleep? Let's say eight a night, seven eights are fifty-six - we now are looking getting very close to one third. I sleep for one third of my life.

Why haven't you got a comfortable bed? Why isn't your comfortable bed this king size thing and just like heaven to sleep in - you just love going in it. Why isn't it just this awesome place for you to reside in? And why isn't it in this room you just love being in? Can you see that you're spending one third of your life there? So why isn't it something that's really, really good? Why is it this $100 bed that you got from the second hand store that's got all these little rods going up the back of it and you roll over and you've got all these aches and pains when you wake up, and you say," I must get a new bed", and you never do. Why is it like that?

Now all together you're looking at more than half of our life is gone on just those two things, agreed? Okay. If you're not loving yourself, then you can see that your work is going to show it and your bed is going to show it.

4.4.2. God's priority list of love

Okay, so let's look at the love list from God's perspective. What did God create you to love that will bring you the most joy and bliss? You can think of it as this is God's priorities for you. This is how God created you. The first thing on your love list God created to be God. You can totally deny it, that's fine, but that's what God created.

The second thing God created to be on your love list is yourself. Now when I'm talking about yourself I'm not talking about yourself as this being, this physical flesh thing, remember I'm talking about the soul, which is the two halves of the soul is self. That's our self. You are one half of yourself right at the moment. So when I'm talking about self I'm talking about self as including your soulmate. [00:31:56.18]

God created us to love God first and then ourselves, including our soulmate because we are one half of a soul (right)

A lot of you don't even want to meet your soulmate: so there's a big issue. You don't want to meet half of yourself; that's a big issue emotionally. Why would I not want to meet half of myself? I must have some big emotions tied up in that. Let's say I'm a male and I think the other half of myself is a female and I don't want to meet her, gee whiz I must have quite a lot of emotions about females to actually not meet the other half of myself. There are big emotions in that.

Next on the list is "others". We'll break others down into a list. The first set of others is the children, I don't mean your children - I mean all of the children. Why don't I mean just your children? Because in the end all children, we are a part of their environment, I have a responsibility towards all children to help them grow in love of their true maker, their true parent, not me, and it's not even their mum and dad. These children are just developing souls and that's why they should form part of our highest love priority, and then other people.

Now I just don't mean people, I mean people whether they are here on Earth, a mortal, or a spirit because they're all people. So I have just as much love for you as I do for the spirits at the moment who are here, who I can see, and by the way there are far more spirits here than you who are here. I would have just as much love for them in the presentation I'm giving as well, if I'm putting things as God's priority. What comes next? From God's perspective do you think?

Participant: All the other creatures.

Creatures, okay; by creatures we're talking about living and moving creatures. So creatures. Now from God's perspective there are two types of creatures: there is the type of creature who has a central nervous system and that has a spirit body, and then there's the type of creature that doesn't have a central nervous system and doesn't have a spirit body.

So to give you an illustration, some creatures on the planet don't have a central nervous system, like a mosquito for example - but they're still a living creature - so when we swat a mosquito, we just got rid of that creature. I wouldn't be able to do that so easily if I loved them and if they're biting me - something I love bites me - there's an emotion in that.

You'll find when you deal with a lot of these emotions the creatures won't harm you. If you don't deal with the emotions, the creatures reflect back at you the emotions that you have yet to heal within yourself. So if you're a person who gets eaten alive by mosquitoes, there's a lot in that for you emotionally.

But this is God's love list. Creatures are next, with either a central nervous system creatures (CNS) and then non-central nervous system creatures (NCNS).

What would come next? All the flora: trees, plants, vegetation, food; all these different things - all part of this thing. So am I loving something if I destroy the whole thing? I've got to look at things like that - that's part of my whole love list.

4.4.3. Using our free will in harmony with God's priority list

I would not sacrifice something lower on my love list for something higher. In other words, I never ever sacrifice my love of God in my entire life; even if it means me dying I will not sacrifice my love of God if I have my priorities right. This is my priorities of love; I will never sacrifice God if I've got my priorities right.

So if someone asks you to deny God - just a simple question - all you've got to do is deny God or get shot, what would you do? You'd get shot because you wouldn't deny God, that's your priority list. This priority list by the way is going to create the most happiness in your life that you could ever imagine. But it's a lot of challenge. [00:37:26.27]

Let's look at the next priority: self. You've just been captured in a war and they're going to force you to get into a truck where they're going to take you to a prison. They're going to force you to get into this truck, if you don't they're going to shoot you. What would you do? You would get shot because you love yourself more than that. You have free will and that person has now just broken the Law of Free Will and you can't agree with that. If I love God I can't agree with it and also if I love myself I can't agree with it. So I will not do it, so it will mean I'll get shot.

Participant: I would probably think that if I love myself and I'd like to continue living which many of us do, then why wouldn't I want to get into the truck?

You just expressed an emotional injury. Let's look at the emotional injury. I would like to continue living.

Participant: I don't want to be shot, if it's a choice between get into a truck or be shot, I'm likely to choose the truck.

But you don't want to get in the truck either.

Participant: No. But if the other alternative is to be shot I'd prefer more to avoid being shot than getting into the truck. Why would that be?

Why?

Participant: Because why would I want to die at that point?

But you're not dying.

Participant: Well I will.

This is the underlying emotional injury.

Participant: But why would I want to leave the Earth? Why would I want my body to die even though my spirit's not going to?

You don't want your body to die; they're making the choice, not you. You're making a choice as to what you want for yourself. What you want for yourself is to never have you free will harmed and you're allowed to make that choice. The truth is you're just expressing an emotional injury in that you don't believe there's an afterlife, you don't believe it's just as good if not better than here, and you're willing to compromise your free will in order to extend your life, and that is an act of hatred towards yourself. [00:39:50.21]

Participant: I'm a parent and I lost a parent when I was young. Why would I want to be shot?

Now you're starting to identify the causal emotional reason why you feel the way you do and you're just about to connect to it, so go with it. You did lose your parent and that's the feeling that you're avoiding. With every single thing we say that's out of harmony with this priority list, there is an emotional reason why we're choosing to do it out of harmony with that list that God created.

What I'm saying is very confronting because basically I'm saying if someone has got a gun to your head, if you honoured just the Law of Free Will, you wouldn't do what they asked just because they've got a gun at your head. Now that's pretty challenging to face.

Participant: The way our society is structured, our free will gets impinged upon daily.

No. You choose to allow your free will to get impinged upon daily. Why do you do that? Because you're afraid of something: what are you afraid of?

Participant: Well just to take road tolls for example. If I decided to say sit at the bridge and not pay the road toll, that feels like just being ... I agree to the impinges on my free will because it seems ...

Yeah but the example you're giving is not impinging on your free will. See many of you have very, very distorted viewpoints of free will. Someone charging you a road toll to go over a bridge is not impinging on your free will because you can go on another route. You can choose to go in a different direction. You are choosing to go in that direction because it's the most expedient, because you've got other reasons for going in that direction, so you pay the toll. Somebody built that bridge and you're actually thanking them for that bridge by paying the toll. So to me that's not impinging upon your free will. [00:42:07.29]

Participant: Okay I feel that we pay too much taxes.

Okay so that might be impinging on your free will and certainly there's no need for any of us to pay tax. The truth is we could rearrange the entire economic system so none of us have to pay tax. So certainly that's an area we need to address with our free will. Did you know actually there's not even a law that can force you to pay tax?

Participant: It's voluntary.

Yeah, it's interesting what we voluntarily do because we're afraid. See a lot of times what's happening is that we don't have God's list of priorities with regard to love, and so we start compromising; when you compromise these priorities, you will create pain for yourself, every time.

So for example whenever you put others before yourself, in other words if you have to not love yourself to do something for someone else, you're going to hurt from that; at some point you will hurt from that. Whenever you put your dog ahead of your child, you are going to feel some pain about that in the future because there are a whole lot of laws you break doing it, believe it or not.

So this is the love list that God has for you. You don't have to believe me with this; you can put this in to practice. If you live your life like this, you'll find you'll be the happiest you can possibly be. You start breaking the laws in any of these areas, you'll find your happiness will degrade; you can put that in to practice at any time and test this out. But this is the list of love, if you like; that God created for you to live if you want to, although because you have free will you're allowed to do that or not do it, it's up to you. [00:43:59.06]

4.4.4. An example of an emotional priority list

I know this is God's list, and this is how I've exposed lots of my own emotional injuries. What I've done is I look at my last week and look at what I did. So last week what did I do? How much time did I spend communicating and feeling, doing things with God? This is fictitious of course because it's totally different for me, but let's say I did half an hour Monday, three hours Tuesday, nothing Wednesday Thursday, Friday's too busy; Saturday I did an hour or two: so let's say I did six hours.

How much time did I spend caring for myself; doing stuff for myself? Well I slept, so that was about fifty-six hours. Then I ate, so that was like brekkie was only ten minutes, lunch was about fifteen minutes, so let's say the whole thing was about an hour a day: so there's seven hours there. Can you see straight away I'm obviously feeling a lot more for myself than I am for God?

How much of that time did I do for others? Well I work for others mostly. Let's say I hate this job but I do it mostly because I have to bring home some pay for the family. So really I'm not doing that for myself - I'm just doing that for my family - I'm doing it for others: so there's forty hours.

What else did I do for others this week? Well I dropped off the kids at school, picked them up. Oh that's right, on Wednesdays and Fridays they go to music class, and then my daughter's got ballet class and then I picked them up from there and ran around: by the time I add all that up it's another seven hours let's say, and so forth.

Can you see by the time we start adding some things up, we start seeing what our real loves are all about, what our real priority list is? And when you start comparing your real priority list with God's priority list, for you, you start being able to see very rapidly why you're unhappy. So it's a great way to expose emotional injuries within yourself; you can start seeing things about yourself. [00:46:33.26]

Mary: AJ for me when you were writing that list, I was thinking, I'm not sure those hours quantify it correctly for me. Like when I'm picking up my daughter from ballet for example, I can be doing that while I'm communicating with God and really loving myself in that exchange.

Of course, this is why I called it an emotional priority list. So if we start looking at it from an emotional perspective, I can actually be praying to God every single moment of the day that I do everything else. I could actually be praying every waking moment because remember praying is a longing inside of your heart for God; a longing for God.

So of the 168 hours I could actually be doing it 168 hours in a week, because I could do it in my sleep state as well as my awake state: in fact that's the ideal condition, where emotionally I'm longing for God's Love for 168 hours out of 168 hours.

But the issue with the time - the real hours - is it gives you an indication of where you're compromising yourself. Remember I said at the start of this that it's all just tools to help you access your denied emotions: these are all just practical tools that you can use to help you access and see what's going on.

4.4.5. AJ's past emotional priority list

What I did was I wrote down my overall priority list right at the beginning: now for me God has always been emotionally at the top of my list; then came others - my children, my partner; then came birds, the feathered variety - I wasn't that keen on a lot of animals except for native animals - and then of course flora was my next, these are my loves: the plants and everything, I've always loved plants. [00:49:11.10]

I've never really gone for like domestic animals. I would have to say at the beginning I definitely didn't love any domestic animal. I didn't love dogs, I was bitten by four of them when I was young so I didn't love dogs; I had an emotional issue with dogs. In the first century part of my face was eaten away by dogs when I was twenty and so since then I have had emotional issues with dogs that I had to work my way through: so I didn't love dogs. With cats, well my father hated cats so I couldn't love cats and get my father's love, so cats were a problem, so I never really loved them: they didn't even make the list, so there are things that didn't even make the list.

Then I'd have to say things like inanimate stuff: I haven't put inanimate stuff on this but that's even underneath; so things like my house, my home, things like that came next.

Then right down the bottom was this person called self but actually it was just the half of the self because the soulmate half of the self came way up here.

So that was my list and do you know that list has taken me years of emotional work to undo, particularly putting my half self that down there has taken me years to address; I've had literally hundreds and hundreds of emotions to deal with. Every emotion that I dealt with made it go up one and then up some more and then up some more and eventually I got to the point where self was there second on the priority list, where it should be. To be frank even now I'm still fluctuating between self and others, particularly when it comes to my soulmate: so the other half of self still comes before me, which is not what's correct to do, but that's still happening. So I am just in that mode now of just fluctuating there but it's taken me years of emotional processing to face up to the fact that self was right down the bottom.

4.4.6. Example of a love list out of harmony with God's Love List

Now the beauty of having a list like that and writing up what it's like this week for you: Where did self come this week? Where did caring for the animals come this week? Did it make your list at all? It you're eating meat, caring for the animals didn't come anywhere on your list this week. Okay. You've got to stop being untruthful with yourself. [00:51:48.04]

By the way - just a side comment - the Divine Love Sanctuary that some of you have set up is not a Divine Love Sanctuary if you don't implement Divine Love Laws and principles. If people go there eating meat it's no longer a Divine Love Sanctuary, you know it's no longer a natural love sanctuary even, it's just become the block of land out in the bush now; because if it's a Divine Love Sanctuary you would be wanting to implement Divine Love Laws while you are present on the sanctuary. So it is quite hypocritical for us to call something a Divine Love Sanctuary when we're not actually putting in place the Divine Love Laws at the sanctuary; so either stop calling it a Divine Love Sanctuary or start implementing the Divine Love Laws at the sanctuary.

And the Divine Love Laws are going to incorporate this kind of list of priorities for every single person on the property because they are not your laws they are God's Laws and if I'm on the Divine Love Path I'm not interested in what my opinion is anymore I am only interested in what God's opinion is and all I'm looking at is bringing my loves and my life and my laws and the principles that govern my life into harmony with the Divine Love Laws and the beauty of a love list is it is telling you what should make your list of loves.

And if I am eating meat, I am not loving animals and a lot of people say to me but I love my pets and they eat meat still but they love their pet: I'm sorry you do not love your pet; if you're eating meat still you do not love your pet, you need your pet for another emotional reason that you need to address because you are not loving your pet if you are eating meat around your pet. They can feel your soul's intention to harm animals, don't you think that? Of course they can feel everything; dogs and cats in particular are so sensitive to your emotions they can feel everything you feel. Why do you think your cat wants to go out and murder 182 birds or whatever it is a year? It's because of your desire to eat meat and you not working through all of that emotionally and some other emotions too of abundance and so forth. That's why these animals that are close to us do these things.

So if I didn't have any love of others during this week, then others wouldn't even be on my list. If I didn't have any love of animals during the week, because I ate meat during the week, then creatures are not on my list. If I can get a block of land and totally bulldoze every plant on the property, then a love of flora was not on my list this week.

4.4.7. Using the priority list as a tool to access emotions

I need to address these loves if I want to bring myself into harmony with God. What I'm saying is to not be critical of yourself about all these things - the key is to just use this list as a tool to access your causal emotion. Use it as a tool. [00:55:27.02]

Say to yourself, "Alright, well this week I had alcohol, am I loving myself if I have alcohol?" What's alcohol to your body? It's a poison! "So I'm ingesting a poison. Is that loving my body? No. So I'm not loving myself when I did that. How many hours a week did I do that? How many hours this week did I have my beer?"

Now in my case I used to have a whole collection of red wine. It was a very expensive collection of red wine that took me thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars to put together, and once I realised that law, that I wasn't loving myself anymore, you know what I did? I still compromised love because you know what I did? I gave it all away, which helped every other person who I gave some of that red wine to, to compromise the law of love as well. Now I didn't think of that at the time. I realise that now. I probably should have smashed them all because that would have meant that nobody else was also harmed with their love of self. But I gave it all away, and had a big cry afterwards as well. (Laughter) No I didn't actually; it was an easy thing to do. But there are some things you'll find are really hard to do when you realise that.

4.4.8. Using our free will in harmony with God's priority list (continued)

Now what I'm suggesting to you is that if you know that your love list is out of harmony with God's Love List, then when you break it, there is more of a penalty for breaking it. If you know what to do and you don't do it, it is worse for you than if you didn't even know what to do; and then a lot of people go, "Oh alright, okay, so AJ's basically telling us that we shouldn't bother coming along to any of his seminars anymore because the more he tells us, the worse it gets for us." No I'm not saying that, because in the spirit world there's this whole location in the first sphere in the hells, where all the people have wanted to remain ignorant. They used their ignorance as an excuse to not do anything in harmony with love and that has a large penalty associated with it as well, a large consequence to your soul. So what I'm suggesting is become informed about what makes you happy. [00:57:54.12]

Remember I said at the beginning of this love list that if we bring our loves into harmony with God's Loves that will mean you are the happiest possible person you could ever be. Now eventually if you do that you'll become at-one with God, guaranteed. The only reason why we're ever not at-one with God in fact is because we have our love list out of harmony with God's Love list. Can you see that if I'm going to be at-one with God, I'm going to need to love the same things God loves - in the same order even - then I'll be in harmony with God's Love. So this is an essential part of me becoming in harmony with God's Love in the end. So look at your love list.

4.4.9. An example of prioritising parents over children

I use the love list quite often for me, and Mary and I together have used it quite often too to identify what's really going on at the emotional level. It can help you so much too, "Ah okay there I put my mother ahead of my partner." Many of you do that on a daily basis; put your in-laws or your parents ahead of your partner or your child even. Many of you go around with your little children to their grandparents and all of a sudden treat your little children differently because you're with your parents because you know they'll be unhappy if your child does this or they'll be unhappy if your child breaks that: so you treat your child differently. What's that doing? That's putting your grandparent ahead of your child. Which way round was it meant to be? The child has to come first because the child is the one who is developing and you're assisting the child to develop, so that has to come first in your loves, and yet often we reverse that.

You see every time we reverse something, we create a disharmony with the Law of Love. Every time we reverse a priority in our love list we create so much disharmony with the Law of Love, that there are penalties associated, or consequences associated upon our own soul about what we've just created. So do you know what will happen when we've done that with our child and our parent, if our child is now treated differently when we go round to our parents? Do you think your child's going to want to go around to your parents anymore? No. That's why half the time we say, "Oh we're going around to visit Nanna now." "I don't want to visit Nanna." By the time they get to fifteen, sixteen, do they want to visit Nanna? No. They don't want a bar of Nanna - "Nanna's just there to control my free will. I don't want any part of it." But we created that; we created that by actually putting our parent's laws ahead of God's Laws for our child. [01:00:48.08]

So when we bring our love list in harmony with God's Laws you'll find that's when you create the most harmony and so it's a really good way to identify what's going on inside of you emotionally.

Mary: It's also fair to say that we would never actually be unloving to creatures if we love God and we love our self and we love others. So we are never actually going to sacrifice any - it's never right to say; "I can't love others because I have to love myself," because that would never work.

Yes we don't sacrifice one for the other necessarily but we understand that every time I sacrifice one that's lower on the list I'm actually sacrificing myself anyway.

There's a lot more complexity than what I'm describing in this love list. What I'm describing is very basic. It's just as a way of helping you; it's a tool to help you get in touch with some emotions. I'm not saying don't love creatures; or I'm not saying don't sacrifice a creature in order to love others; what I'm saying is use the list to see how you prioritise things in your life in terms of love because in the end you will love all of those things, but you will certainly love your soulmate more than you will love your children; and you'll certainly love your children more than you'll love animals in the end. But it doesn't mean you don't love animals; so in other words, my love of animals would mean that I couldn't kill one even if my child was starving. So I'm not going to sacrifice the love of one for the other. [01:02:36.17]

5. Audience questions

5.1. Understanding respect and love

Participant: When you were talking about grandparents, I'm just wondering where the virtues of respect and all those other things come into it?

If I respect people, I will automatically respect my grandparents, but I'll also respect my grandchildren. I'll also respect everyone. You as a grandparent are not more important to me than my children, and my children won't be more important to me than you but from a love perspective I need to take care of how I love my children and I would not sacrifice my children's will just for you.

Can I just point out something about the word respect? Every time a person asks the question about respect, it means that they feel unrespected. So there's a casual emotion inside of you that you need to deal with.

Participant: It's not in me because I'm not a grandparent for a start.

It doesn't matter, you asked a question about respect. The truth is that with regard to the issue of respect, if I respect and love myself and I love God, I will not need anyone else's respect or love. I will not even complain when somebody else disrespects me but the likelihood of it occurring is going to be very low because I already respect myself.

Participant: I don't think I asked that very well, maybe I misunderstood what you were saying. It just seemed to me that you were talking about children visiting their grandparents or whoever, and them having their own free will, but there's a place in society where we do have to follow certain rules. That's what I'm asking you. This is what I teach and now I'm wondering what I should be teaching.

Can I just talk about the rules that we have to follow? If we want to be happy, the only rules we have to follow are God's Rules and all of God's Rules revolve around love; and love naturally incorporates respect; but I can't demand respect from another - respect is something that needs to come from a love space within them. I also need to look at my Law of Attraction if I'm not respected; if I'm not respected by the other, I need to ask myself firstly the question, "How much do I not respect myself?" Because the more I respect myself, the more respect I will automatically command from others and I don't mean command in terms of verbally, "You must respect me," I mean that you'll feel the feeling inside of myself that I respect myself and you will automatically want to respect me as a result of that respect that I have for myself. It's very similar about the Laws of Love of Self. So with regard to teaching children, the only thing we need to teach the child is God's Laws of Love and in the end if they love they will respect but they won't respect the person more than they will respect their own desire, for example. [01:06:19.16]

So in other words let's say I have a desire that's harmonious with love and you want me to not have that desire. So let's say my desire harmonious with love is I want my soulmate to be a part of my life; that's my desire harmonious with love. Let's say you're a friend of my soulmate's, and you just don't like me very much, and you just feel I'm the wrong person for her; now I can respect you but disagree with you completely and I don't have to live my life by what you feel should happen.

Participant: Yes. I do understand all of that.

But if I love you I will tell you your desire for me to not be with this girl is about your emotional injuries and I'd be happy to tell you what those emotional injuries were even - I would be happy to do that - if I loved you. If I love and care for you, I wouldn't be angry with you for you telling me that I can't be with her, I wouldn't get upset with you for that but I would say to you, "Well I'm sorry but what you're asking me to do is out of harmony with my desires, out of harmony therefore with my love of self and I'm allowed to love myself whether you think I am or not." And this is where if we teach children God's Laws of Love then in the end they'll automatically be respectful. But I've seen so many parents; for example, think they know more than their children when their children know far more than their parents and their parents are not respectful of how much their children know.

5.2. Free will can be used in any way but has consequences when used out of harmony with love

Participant: I teach little children and one of the things is we teach them virtues, as I've mentioned before. Responsibility, cooperation, respect, amongst a whole heap of other things. It just seemed to be contradictory to what you were talking about before, that was all, but I do understand more what you were meaning.

Yeah be careful when I talk about free will, a lot of people think free will means I can do anything I want even if it means harming you: that's not what I mean; that's not free will anymore because actually if I'm doing whatever I want even if it harms you, I'm actually harming my own soul, which is actually constraining my own soul.

Teaching children virtues is great because that is part of the natural love principles. If they receive Divine Love in their heart, a child won't need to be taught the natural love principles because they'll feel pain whenever they break the Divine Love principles, and so they don't even need to be taught the natural love principles. [01:09:08.27]

But free will is often misinterpreted nowadays. God gave you the free will to do anything you want but there's an "if" associated with it and do you know what the "if" is? Or you could say there's a "but"; what's the "but"? There are consequences: we need to teach our children the same things; the truth is that when they break the laws of love there are consequences and we need to teach our children there are consequences for that.

I'll raise that after the break we have in a minute because the truth is that when we deal with things appropriately with God's Laws, you'll find that free will fits in perfectly and it's always loving in the way that God describes it to be but a lot of times here on the planet we think free will means doing whatever you want to wherever you want, to whomever you want, and you should be able to get away with it - but God doesn't do that; God doesn't let you get away with it; so why do we let it happen?

Participant: There's still also a large problem where we feel that we can be the ones to give the consequences instead of them actually coming automatically from God's Laws. So demanding a child to have virtues and then when they don't display them giving them consequences ...

So in other words punishing them for not having a virtue doesn't help them have a virtue. Yep.

Alright, well what we'll do now is have a break. We'll come back at four and what we'll do is we'll start discussing some of the actual things that happen at a childhood level about emotions and see how we can deal with them.

Emotional Processing: Part 3

Let's get back to our emotions: the problem with all of our emotions is that the more I can tell you about emotions the more tempted we are to intellectualise the emotion. I feel this is a difficulty that we're facing at this time - that a lot of times people are wanting more information about how to access emotion and so forth, but the more information I give, the more we're tempted to go into the mind and intellectualise the process, which actually gets us out of experiencing the emotion. So sometimes I look at the whole situation with regard to emotions and think is it better to say more about them or say less about them?

6. Recognising causal emotions

In the end what we're trying to do is get you to settle underneath in the causal emotion and to do that at the end of the day we need to recognise what the causal emotion is and how it feels: that's the issue that most of us face; most of us often get into emotion but we're not actually knowing if this emotion is actually an emotion that's something to do with my childhood.

6.1. Changes in the Law of Attraction

It is quite easy to know when something is a core emotion: so let's call it a core emotion, or a causal emotion if you like. Remember it's your core emotions that create your Law of Attraction; your core emotions create your Law of Attraction because your core emotions are a part of your soul condition, and remember it's your soul condition - which is the sum total of all of the passions, desires, longings, emotions, feelings, your beliefs and everything inside of your soul, the sum total of all - that creates your Law of Attraction.

So if we deal with core or causal emotion our Law of Attraction will change. If you have children you'll notice your Law of Attraction will change the instant you connect. If you don't have children and you have pets you'll find your Law of Attraction will change the instant you connect. The truth is your Law of Attraction does change the instant you connect but unfortunately for many of us if we don't have children or we don't have pets around us, close by, we don't notice it 'till a few days later generally, or a week later or when new events occur.

6.1.1. An example of AJ and Mary driving from Kingaroy to Brisbane

Mary and I were driving down today: we drove all the way down here and it was such a smooth trip, it was unreal. I said, "I must have changed a few emotions since the last time we drove down," because the last time we drove down I got stuck behind every slow person you could possibly think of between Kingaroy and here. So I'd slow down and we'd wait, thinking, "What's the road up there like? It's a bit windy and there are not many passing lanes or anything," so you get stuck for a while, stuck for a while, then you pass one, and then get stuck for a while. That's what it was like last time all the way.

This time there was nobody in front of us all the way until we come up to this semi, and the semi pulled off just in the town that we came up to him on, and then we were off again, and there was no one in front of us all the way to here. It was really different compared to before and I could feel some of the emotion that I'd dealt with that allowed that to happen. Some of this emotion I dealt with was this feeling that I had inside of myself of: "Oh boy I can never really get things how I want them to be, nothing's ever going to run smooth." How many of you've got that emotion? "Nothing's ever going to run smooth in my life, it's never going to be exactly how I like it, there's always going to be something wrong." And I've been dealing with some of that emotion, big picture type emotion for me over the last few weeks and so that's good to notice that Law of Attraction change. [00:06:21.16]

6.1.2. An example of a participant who was zenned out to Law of Attraction events

Your Law of Attraction is your measuring stick if you like. Now remember you can construct your life by constructing it with your fear barriers. The Law of Attraction will expose your fear barriers. Josh was at our house during the week filming. He was doing some interviews with us, what you'd call casual interviews I suppose, which will probably be put on a DVD at some point and he was asking us all sorts of questions and I'm all dressed in my ponytail and my bandana, so I look a bit different to what you see me normally - warts and all sort of thing. He interviewed us quite a lot over the last three or four days, and in one of the discussions we were talking about Josh's life where Josh went through a period in his life where he used the Zen out method basically. "The power of now" methods, I suppose you could call them, where he'd been taught to actually detune from his life so much that even though the Law of Attraction events continued to occur, he felt completely calm and peaceful through the entire thing. So his computer would break down and he'd be completely calm and peaceful all through the entire thing. These events would still occur but he felt calm and peaceful through the entire thing.

Now is he dealing with the causal emotion? No. Because the Law of Attraction is causing the events to still occur. The truth is the events will not occur when you deal with the emotion. You won't even have to Zen out of them because they won't even happen.

That's the big difference between the Natural Love Path and the Divine Love Path. So use the Law of Attraction to show you what you're tuning out of.

6.1.3. Creating a life to avoid our Law of Attraction

Now many of us still avoid our Law of Attraction by creating our life to avoid it; now what I mean by that is, we know we've got a whole list of fears so what do we do? We work around all of them. I'm afraid of people, so I don't go anywhere where there are people. I'm afraid to go out dancing, so I don't go out dancing. I'm afraid to drive from here to Sydney by myself so I don't drive; I always get somebody to drive with me. We do all of these things to avoid dealing with the emotion.

My suggestion is to not do that, but rather allow yourself to start accessing your core or causal emotion because it's only by accessing your causal emotion that you're going to get closer and closer and closer to God. Love or desire for God's Love is an emotion, it can be passionately felt, but it's not going to be passionately felt if you don't feel like you've got any passion about anything; if you've detuned yourself from all of your passions you can't passionately feel it, so this is why emotion is so important. [00:09:20.12]

7. Layers of emotions within us

7.1. Childhood core emotions

Now we start with the core emotion at the base - by the way core emotions can be positive too, you can have positive core emotions, as well as ones that are harmful to you in the sense of what they generate - but here we have our core emotion at the base, and now the core emotion is generally covered over by lots of events.

There are two types of core emotions that generally get created inside of us. One type of core emotion is where we become very inflective or self-reflective: in other words we blame ourselves for everything. Now who had a life growing up where you finished up blaming yourself for everything that went wrong because your parents blamed you, so you blamed you?

Participant: Consciously or unconsciously?

Always consciously, everything is conscious, no unconscious. When you say unconsciously, that's really just suppressed core emotion. So anytime we use the word unconscious, that's emotion that we could be conscious of, but we're in denial of being conscious of. We don't want to be conscious of yet. So be careful of the word unconscious because what it does is it suggests to us that it's not under our control but it's all under our control.

Participant: I guess what I meant is I didn't have any feelings that I was aware of as a child that I was to blame for anything. But since processing, I've felt heaps and heaps of I'm to blame. So in relation to what you're saying ...

So what happened is you had a layer of denial that was quite strong that caused you to not even be aware that this other emotion was underneath. With the layers of emotions, you were up in the top layer. Then as you settled down into the next layers and next layers, you started opening up and so you start addressing - "Oh I do actually have this emotion." A lot of people are worried because they say all you're doing is creating emotion; that was one of the questions in fact that Josh asked this week. You can't create childhood emotions that are already in you because they were already created in your childhood. All you can create as an emotion is an emotion that's as an adult right now.

So you know when you go into anger as an adult, well you're creating that emotion, guaranteed - but when it comes to a childhood emotion, if you're feeling a childhood emotion, that's an emotion that's stored already within you, you can't create it; all you can do is become aware of it. There's a big difference between those two states.

So you can say the core emotion is always going to be childhood generally in nature. When I say generally, it's a bit different if you're reincarnated, but we'll look at it from a first incarnation perspective. Core emotion is always going to be childhood in nature. So if I'm feeling causal sadness, there's a high likelihood that the sadness I'm feeling will feel like I'm two years old, or will feel like I'm five years old or feel like I'm seven years old. If I'm feeling sexual shame, it will feel like I'm a little child, like maybe three years of age feeling ashamed of its body - if I'm in a casual childhood type emotion, a core emotion. [00:12:57.21]

Then what happens is our environment through lots of different aspects causes us to suppress a lot of this core emotion.

7.1.1. The two types of childhood core emotions

By the way, I said there are two types of core emotion: one type is this type where I'm looking intrinsically at self and blaming self, the other type is where I look extrinsically and I blame others. Our parents created that; many parents now have injuries emotionally inside of their soul where they for example feel controlled; when I say feel controlled they don't have very much self-worth, and in fact many of our children have more self-worth than we have, inside of ourselves; so what happens then is as our child grows up it knows it can manipulate our self-worth, or our guilt, or our shame, or any of the other types of emotions that are still stored within us: it learns to manipulate us into getting what it wants. Now the problem with that is the child learns how to break laws of love straight away through that interaction.

Now there are two type of injuries, there's the damage that we do to our children in terms of causing them pain or suffering with regard to sadness or other types of emotions but then there's this other side of the coin, the other damage that we do to our children, which is allowing them to get away with murder, basically. It's not an intellectual thing in us, there's this soul thing going on inside of us where we allow other people to harm us and we let ourselves be manipulated by our own children. Now our children are so sensitive emotionally they know every single chink in your armour, trust me. They know exactly how to manipulate every single thing inside of you.

So there are two sides of this coin and the two sides are: the times when I'm breaking the free will of my child, and then there are the times where I allow the child to break my free will. Do you see the difference? That creates two separate types of emotional injuries. One type of emotional injury is where the child blames itself for all of the things that it's doing and the other emotional injury is where the child blames its environment for everything that goes wrong.

Now you imagine we're grown up now, what do we do? Whenever something goes wrong in our life, if you're the type of person that blames yourself all the time then you have childhood casual emotions relating to a lot of stuff where you've been hammered as a child or you've had your free will manipulated and controlled as a child, and you will need to feel a lot of grief and sadness about that; but if you're the person when you grow up and something goes wrong in your life, you blame everyone else but yourself, then you've got a whole separate set of emotional injuries inside of yourself where the unloving actions you take towards others need to be accessed and released inside of yourself. Do you see the difference between those two states? [00:16:15.26]

Mary: I just wanted to say that in my experience, because I have both sets of injuries depending on the emotional set, and that was quite important for me to recognise.

Yeah so I want to just point out to you that you may have one of these types of injuries in each place for every different emotion. So for example, I might have one set of emotions to do with sexual shame where I was blamed by my parents, so I have that - that I'm to blame - but I may have another set of emotions about abundance where my parents gave me everything that I ever wanted and now I think the world owes me something. Do you see the difference?

So on one set of emotional injuries when it comes to my sexual shame I'll blame myself but on the other set of emotional injuries when it comes to getting abundance, I want the world to provide me, so I blame the world. So we can even blame the world in one instance or ourselves in the other instance. It just depends on what happened in that particular emotion in our childhood as to what we do: that's all core emotion.

7.2. Capping emotions

Then we've got what you'd call the capping or blocking emotions. They're the emotions that were constructed inside of us to help us suppress the core emotion.

So you know when you were little you start crying, mum and dad on one hand might go, "Oh there, there, you're alright now, you're alright now," and just get you out of your emotion like that. In other words they nurture you out of feeling the emotion. That creates one set of capping emotions. You see what that does is it says, whenever I get hugged it means I don't feel the emotion anymore, so I become addicted to the hug in other words. "I'm feeling bad, so I get addicted to the hug. Once I get a hug I feel good, I'm right now." And with a lot of people who are very needy, you can feel they are addicted to the hug if you like.

On the other side our parents could have yelled and screamed at us. "Shut up you!" and off they go yelling and screaming at you. What does that do inside of yourself? That creates a whole separate set of emotions. Some sadness comes up: "I'm going to get punished". Sadness comes up: "Punishment emotion is going to result." That creates a whole layer of capping emotion at the childhood level. [00:18:41.18]

7.3. Denial of experience

The causal and the capping emotions, or the core and the blocking emotions, are all going to get suppressed in some way through a whole separate set of denials \- let's call it denial - in other words what I'm going to do is become resistive. Let's call this emotion underneath denial: the castle of hurt, the castle of pain, some of which is directed inwards, towards our self, in other words a whole group of emotions where I blame myself, and then some of it which is directed outwards, towards everyone else - in other words a whole set of emotions - that I blame other people for. They're the groups of emotions.

Then what I do is I deny they even exist. I deny not so much even their existence but more their experience. I deny the experience; I don't allow the experience of it. So the next layer is the denial of experience.

Now the way God made us was to feel emotion. God made us to naturally feel this emotion; you look at a child and a child does naturally feel emotion. If it gets hurt it cries. Somebody hurts it, or hurts it's feelings, it generally cries until it starts getting some capping emotions placed on top, and then it starts getting shutdown. So what it learns is to deny the experience of both sets of emotions.

Now that's a pretty hard state to maintain: so what we then do is we create all sorts of things above that, that all get placed on top of that, which is a part of this castle that we build and by the way the more we go outwards in the layers above the capping emotion, from the core childhood emotion, the more we're away from ourselves. In other words we're denying ourselves more and more as these emotions get created.

7.4. Tools of denial

So then I start creating. I've got to start denying my experience, how do I deny my experience? I've got to choose mechanisms that work for me. Now usually the mechanisms we choose are very much the mechanisms we're taught from our parents. So if you have a good look at your parents, what do they use to deny their emotions? You'll find that many of their denial tools are tools that are within you; this is a natural consequence because we're learning how to deny as we're growing up; so it's a natural consequence that many of their denial tools become ours.

So we construct a heap of tools of denial: and by the way for every single emotion it's a different tool.

So let's say I'm growing up as a young lady, I get abused as a child by my step-father and I'm growing up now I'm in my teens, and I start developing sexually; I start feeling my body, and I start feeling really uncomfortable about my body being a sexual shape, that starts attracting sexual energy from men, and that connects me to this core emotion and capping emotion that I don't want to feel. So what I do then is I work out that I need to somehow get away from my body being like this so what could I do? [00:22:18.23]

Participant: Eat.

Eat, so start eating, eating, eating and I get bigger and bigger and bigger. The eating is just an emotional response to the desire to get large. So I'm there just getting larger and larger and larger because I don't want to be sexually attractive. Now that's a tool of denial that I'm using. That's a tool I'm using to get away from these emotions that need to be healed inside of me.

We can construct all kinds of tools of denial: we can even construct false emotions in that state; emotions that are not even real, just in order to help us avoid these emotions. So we can say, "I feel so unworthy," when in reality what we're saying to ourselves is we don't want to act because if I'm responsible for my actions I'll feel bad. We can create all sorts of emotions.

7.5. Emotions of self-deception

So you could even say we could create a heap of emotions of self-deception, and we've talked about those (20090627 The Human Soul - Emotions of Self-Deception).

7.6. Only releasing capping and core emotions changes our lives

So what are the only emotions that are going to change our life? It's only these capping and the core childhood emotions. These childhood emotions are the only ones that if I experience, my life will change. All of the other layers, no matter how much I experience it, no matter how much I work through it, no matter how much I cry, no matter how much I feel ashamed, no matter how much I feel guilty, nothing will change.

This is the problem today with a lot of progression - people start getting into their emotions and they say, "AJ, look nothing is changing." Nothing's changing because we're not in the right emotion. We're in an emotion that we might be creating to avoid the emotion that we need to be in. [00:24:21.11]

Now this is all very intellectual, isn't it? This doesn't help me a damn really does it? Really because at the end of the day I need to feel the capping emotion and feel the core childhood emotion: that's really where it gets down to.

8. Fear is the primary blockage to feeling casual emotion

Now what I've done earlier is give you a heap of tools that will help you identify these things and it will help you identify when you're avoiding those things; but in the end it's not going to help you experience those things because there is one primary belief that sits inside of most of us about emotion. Do you know what that is?

Participant: Fear.

It's a fear, yep.

8.1. Fear of going crazy and that we are alone

"I'm going to go crazy if I start this emotional process." Now it's a False Expectation Appearing Real to you if you believe that. In other words, it's not God's Truth - God created you to experience your emotion. You are totally able to deal with every single emotion within you, anything that comes along: you can deal with the emotion of even getting murdered; you can deal with the emotion of being raped; you can deal with the emotion of being abused as a child sexually or physically or violently; you can deal with every single emotion. God created you to be able to experience them.

There's one other thing that we need to remember, but we often feel this way instead - "I am alone". The belief we have often is "I am alone in this process." This is one of the worst possible things you could believe and by the way I'm talking to the spirits here who believe they're alone as well. It is one of the worst possible things you could believe and it is totally untrue, totally untrue.

If you could know how many people are with you when you're experiencing an emotion from a spirit perspective for a start, you'd be blown away. A lot of times there's ten, twenty, thirty, forty people with you who love you, helping you through this emotion when you're on the Divine Love Path; and of course that doesn't even take into account that God is with you through the entire process. [00:27:15.16]

That gets down to another core belief: "that really in the end there is no God". Most of us at some point feel that way when we're doing this emotional work because that is a core emotional belief we'll have to face at one point. "Is there a God or not?" Many of us are totally afraid of going into our emotion because firstly we believe there is no God to help me, "I'm totally alone and if I do this process and I'm going to go nuts."

The truth is there are many times when you'll feel nuts on the process and progressing this way, but you won't go nuts. You know the only way you'll go nuts? By not feeling your emotions. The world's asylums are full of people who are nuts because they tried to get away from their emotions. The spirit world in the lower spheres is full of people who have spent all of their life on Earth and much of their life in the spirit world trying to avoid their emotions. It's the only time you're going to get harmed is by avoiding them, not by experiencing them. However I want to say there's one proviso on that, it has to be the causal or the capping childhood emotions that you're experiencing because you can construct with your mind all sorts of other things that are crazy in many cases and you can connect to spirits who are crazy by the way, really easily, by not dealing with the underlying causal or capping emotions.

Can you see that it's the fears, and we'll talk more about the fears next week (20091024 The Human Soul - Fear Revisited), that actually cause you to stop your processing, that cause you to not be able to get to the underlying emotion? And it's only by getting to the underlying emotion that I'm going to be able to grow.

8.2. Addressing fear

So what I need to do is start addressing these fears. How do I address the fear of: "I will go crazy?" There are only two ways I can address that fear. Remember all fears are False Expectations Appearing Real. So how do I address this emotion in me that I will go crazy? It's a belief system within me. It's not something I'm going to be able to change with my mind, because nothing changes in the soul with your mind. When I say nothing it's not probably true because you can change an awareness, but the emotion has to come out of you for the real change to occur. [00:29:58.26]

So how do I deal with that emotion? I am going to have to feel crazy to actually release that emotion. Can you see that? I'm going to have to feel like I am nuts.

How do I release this emotion that I am alone? I'm going to have to feel like I am alone. But what did I say when I started this little discussion? You are totally capable; you have been built to experience every single emotion, God made you that way. So in reality you have nothing to fear, and in the end in your development when you become at-one with God you'll realise that actually yeah, there is nothing to fear. You will not have a single fear within you at that point but before then you'll have many fears to deal with.

So what we're going to do over the coming week or so is we'll start giving you some practical ways in which you can start really facing your fears; your fears are masked by so many different things; they are controlled by so many different things within you; but primarily one thing, and that is the desire to avoid emotion is created by your fear of what will happen when you hit the emotion. So the reason why we desire to avoid so much is because we are so afraid of what will happen when we connect to it.

8.3. Blockages to the full expression of causal emotion

Participant: Hi. I felt an emotion earlier this week and I cut it off and then I haven't been able to get back to it. I don't know whether it's the fear of getting back because today I felt an emotion that I didn't experience when I was a little girl of a tragic event. It came up just like that and I've been trying to get back there but I can't. So how do I get back?

Okay how many of you are having times when you start connecting to the emotion, and within five minutes you're out? You start connecting to another one, and within five minutes you're out again? Okay. There are fears there. You need to look at the fear.

So let's say you start feeling the emotion, you start having the fears rolling down, now right at this point if you're longing for God to help you through the process, you can actually keep spirits away from you by just longing to God to nurse you through this process; you can stay in this emotion for as long as you want. There are a number of external influences and internal influences that cause you to get out. So if you start, and do it for a few minutes and then it all finishes, we need to look at these particular possible causes. [00:32:54.07]

8.3.1. "I don't want to"

The first possible cause is "I don't want to. I don't want to feel this emotion." So I'm starting to feel the emotion, I don't want to. Why would I not want to? I've come along to these seminars now for a while, I do believe in emotional work, I do understand the relationship between soul condition, emotion and Law of Attraction, I want to change my Law of Attraction, I feel really positive about that and yet why am I kicking myself back out of the emotion?

With all "I don't want to", begin with a fear. So at the moment that you stop crying, ask yourself what am I afraid of? What am I afraid of?

Also when you go into "I don't want to", there may be some anger over the top of your fear. So let's say you start to feel your emotion and you start crying, you might find as part of the emotional experience this childhood anger starts raising in you, the childhood avoidance, if you like. Now what you're doing is you're trying to cry when in reality you should be yelling and screaming and swearing and hitting something and you need to allow yourself to do this in a fluid way. So this is where you need this space I was talking about at the beginning.

You see "I don't want to" either is born out of fear but it may be also covered over by anger, so I need to experience this anger of not wanting to feel this emotion. I need to feel it. Feel angry with God if that's what it's about, or angry with your parents that they created this emotion in you, or angry at your abuser, or angry at whatever: but feel the anger, don't project it - there's a big difference between the two: projecting it is going around to the person and yelling and screaming at them; feeling it is actually sitting in your room and feeling the rage and anger that you have and owning it, feeling it as a part of the childhood experience.

Now "I don't want to" is one of the reasons why we start and then stop - because we don't want to. And "I don't want to" in the end is always a fear but it may be covered by anger. [00:35:35.06]

8.3.2. "I'm afraid to"

The second thing is "I am afraid to." In a way it's really the same as "I don't want to", it's just with one less layer on it.

You see "I don't want to" is a very angry place. Like if you come up to me and say, "AJ can you give me a glass of water?" And I say, "I don't want to." Why would I not want to? Like if I had a glass of water with me, why would I not want to give you one? Usually there'd have to be some anger of some kind behind that.

So whenever you go into "I don't want to" in terms of your emotions usually there's anger, so deal with the anger. Feel the anger of "I don't want to" and then you'll step into number two, which is "I'm afraid to" and afraid to could have all sorts of attachments.

Why would I be afraid of crying for more than two minutes do you think? What might be a causal emotional childhood reason? Afraid of judgement. So whenever I started crying, if I cried for longer than two minutes dad came along and said to me, "Oh you're a wuss, aren't you? Boys don't cry like you cry. Gee I'm ashamed to call you my son." What do you do with a few comments like that when you're a child? You just go straight into, "I can't cry. Cry for a few minutes, that's all I can do."

Another one might be most parents let their children cry for a few minutes, five minutes, but by the time ten minutes comes up what are most parents feeling now? They're starting to connect with their own sadness, which they can't deal with, and they don't want to accept. So what do they do instead? "I'll give you something to cry about!" They just get angry with the child and project all this anger and rage on the child. So if we're crying for a few minutes, and then getting to the point where we're not going further, it could be that we have some childhood causal emotion about fear of pain. So we're afraid of physical pain by going ahead and crying, physical pain of getting punished. [00:37:48.28]

Your parents learn how to control you through many different means. Smacking was only one of them. In fact in some ways smacking is sometimes the least damaging in terms of some of them because some of the others are so hard to get rid of because they're so hard to recognise as unloving behaviour. Anybody can recognise that when you get a belting by somebody that it's violent and unloving but how do you go about dealing with something like guilt? Half the time you don't know whether it's your guilt, their guilt, who's guilt. It's so confusing, but your parents could have used guilt. So you could be afraid of getting more into your emotion because of all the guilt that might come or the shame that might come.

Imagine shame. Shame is a method many parents use to control their children from experiencing their emotion; they just shame them into it. All you have to do there is if your child's out with some of their friends and the parents tell a funny story about the child, about them crying or whatever else that makes them feel mortally shamed, they're not going to do it again. There's going to be a huge amount of rage the child has towards you and they're not going to do that same thing again to risk that. So we could be afraid to feel the emotion because of the capping emotion of shame.

So whenever we stop the processing of a core emotion, it's because generally there is a childhood capping emotion there or there is a tool of denial there, and we've got to sort out which one's which. [00:39:35.00]

8.4. Working through blockages emotionally

Mary: You've already alluded to it but I just wanted to point out from my own experience that with the capping emotions, the fears and the childhood anger, I used to beat myself up a lot because I feel like I have to do the causal but now I'm stuck in this other place until I realise that they are emotions that I do need to process as well.

Yep.

Mary: You can't jump.

Remember everything needs to be processed emotionally. So even if I have an emotional denial I need to process that emotionally. Why do I want to choose one emotion over the other? There's an emotional reason why. So everything needs to be processed emotionally. But oftentimes as Mary points out, it's the capping emotions we're avoiding. See a lot of times what I notice with people when I'm talking with them is they're trying to get to the causal emotion when the capping emotion is hitting them right in the face. Have you noticed that?

8.4.1. An example of a woman who was angry with AJ for stopping her using candles

Perhaps we can give some examples during the week. During the week we had someone come and stay with us and I banned her from using candles down in my eco tent. Where's AJ with free will now, hey? Well she had free will, she could stay in my tent or not. And ironically for my friend who stayed, of all the things that she loves, candles would have to be one of the things highest on her list. And I banned her from using them down in a tent. Mind you they look more like a palace I reckon but it's a tent. [00:41:19.26]

Now she came up the next morning in a rage with me. "You're harming my free will, what's going on here!" really quite upset and angry. She'd actually said she'd processed the anger but when she was telling me the story there was still quite a lot of anger coming at me. And so I said, "That's not a problem." And she said, "No it is a problem, you're a hypocrite." She was getting into me about how much of a hypocrite I am because I was harming her free will. I said, "I'm not harming your free will. You can be here or not be here so you can go and find another tent and put a candle in that. I created this tent and so I'm allowed to ask you to not put a candle in my tent." She couldn't get that at all.

I said, "That's not the problem anyway, what the problem is, is that you're not grateful. I'm giving you access to this tent for free and all of my time for free and you're now projecting anger at me for controlling you having a candle. Does that sound like a causal emotion to you?" She was feeling emotional at this point but not crying very much. She was feeling emotional, she was angry with me and upset with me and everything and saying all these things that I'd done that were wrong and I'm a hypocrite and so forth, but underneath that was this emotion that she expected to get what she wanted and when she didn't get what she wanted she felt unloved.

See oftentimes when something's taken away from us when we're a child we start equating love with getting things, or when things are given to us when we're a child we start equating love with getting things. So when I'm given something; "Ah somebody loves me." This is where people go with gifts a lot of times. Try not giving someone a gift at Christmas; you see what happens then. What will often happen is this emotion will be triggered in them: "That person doesn't love me anymore." They're equating love with being given something. It's exactly what's going on.

Now when I said just those words, she just went off and cried and for the next four hours cried, just connecting to that emotion of feeling that love meant getting something. If you didn't get it then it meant that you weren't loved. And underneath that of course was "I'm not loved unless you give me something", which is a big causal emotion for many people by the way. [00:44:01.00]

Now before then we were in this "You harmed my free will" thing. Now whenever you do this, and this is a good secret to remember, whenever you're blaming someone else, no matter how much, you are not in your causal emotion. Whenever you're blaming someone else, whenever you're angry with someone else, whenever you're frustrated with someone else, whenever you feel upset with someone else, whenever you feel hurt by someone else, you are not in your causal emotion. Because do you think the child is worried about who hurt it? When you're feeling that emotion you'll find that you'll get into this state of childlikeness when you feel an emotion. When you're in that state now you know you're dealing with something that is causal.

8.4.2. Working through "I don't want to" and "I'm afraid to"

So if I stop crying, the first thing is, "I don't want to", which is an anger based projection about dealing with the emotion. "I don't want to have to deal with this emotion, I'm sick of having to deal with emotion. F' AJ telling me about emotions and all that kind of stuff." We get really upset about dealing with emotion. So that's the "I don't want to" place. We even get angry with God in that place, "Why did you make us deal with these emotions!" We really get frustrated. If you let yourself connect with it you'll connect with some really big emotions.

In that state a lot of anger is covering over a lot of fear but you need to experience it, so experience it. But understand that it's covering fear, so that will help you step down into "what are you afraid of". I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to cope with this emotion. I'm afraid that if I start feeling this emotion that it will never end, it will never end and I'll be a mess. I'm afraid that somebody's going to look at me dealing with this emotion and they're going to take one look at me and say, "They're crazy; we'll just chuck them in an asylum because that's where they belong." That's what I'm afraid of. We go through many of these emotions because we're just so afraid of what will happen when we connect emotionally.

To be frank with you if the majority of you saw me processing some of the emotions I've had to process, you would have put me in an asylum. I wasn't harming myself or someone else but you would have thought that it went on for too long, trust me. Some of my emotions that I've had to deal with have taken months and months and months of crying, five hours a day. That looks like depression to you, doesn't it? It didn't feel like depression to me but that's what you would think and so you would do something about that.

You see a lot of times we are so afraid of how the world is going to view us doing all of these things. Mind you for most of you, you will not have to process for months and months and months to deal with an emotion. You've got to remember there's two thousand years stuffed in here somewhere that has to be dealt with. That's a bit different than dealing with eighty years or less.

8.5. Recognising blockages towards feeling emotion through the Law of Attraction

So allow yourself to connect with the emotion, allow yourself to experience the emotion, allow yourself to say, "It's okay to be a mess when I'm feeling this." You see we become afraid to because we have all of the judgements that our parents imposed upon us in the end and our environment imposed upon us.

Now a good way to identify the fears is to see what's projected at you by others. So in other words, if you start getting into an emotion and your partner says, "Oh you're crying too much", what's that? That's a Law of Attraction event telling you what your fear is. If your partner's saying you're crying too much, it's because you believe maybe I'm crying too much. There's a Law of Attraction in that, look at your Law of Attraction. [00:47:54.15]

If your parents ring you up and say, "I'm really, really concerned about you." "Why's that?" "Oh because I heard that you're crying quite a lot now." "Yeah." "Well there's a problem with that, don't you think there's a problem with that?" What are they doing? They're just reinforcing one of the beliefs they taught you at a young age that you now have inside of you. That's your Law of Attraction. Can you see that? There's your block; just telling you. You see a lot of times our Law of Attraction tells us exactly the block that we're experiencing that we're trying to get away from.

Mary had one last night, didn't you darling? She couldn't get into an emotion, and then she just had to cry about the fact that there was too much emotion to deal with. Once she cried with that, this morning there's been three cries dealing with causal emotion, and yet being blocked for a few days because just not allowing yourself to feel like it's all overwhelming. Allow yourself to feel overwhelmed. I have cried lots of times about feeling overwhelmed about how much emotion I've had to process. Allow the emotion to flow. But what will happen is your Law of Attraction will bring to you the blocking emotion if you're not in the actual causal emotion. So even your Law of Attraction will tell you what kind of blocking emotion there is that you're not allowing yourself to experience and that's a fantastic thing if you're aware of it.

Often you'll find somebody will phone you and you'll pick up the phone and they say, "You know today I just realised such and such and such about shame and about sexual shame." "Oh yeah, okay, what do you do with that? Oh isn't that interesting" and you have a chat about his emotion or her emotion. I don't do that. What I do is I think, "This is a Law of Attraction event for me. What about this particular issue aren't I dealing with?" You see? There's my blocking stuff all just in this conversation somewhere.

Can you see how even your Law of Attraction works really, really easily?

9. Audience questions

So if you can't start processing, if you're in the anger state, process the anger state. Don't worry about trying to get to the causal emotion again, process the reason why you stopped. Let yourself feel the reason why you stopped and if the reason why you stopped was fear, let yourself work through your fear. [00:50:24.08]

9.1. An example of a participant who was afraid to feel when sexually projected towards

Participant: What if it was shock?

Shock is terror. It was shock?

Participant: Yeah it was shock; I shocked myself out of feeling anything.

You want to shock yourself out of ...

Participant: No, no I was shocked. The situation was that I was in work and I'd actually asked God for a Law of Attraction for a superior thing; for a superior to treat me like crap basically. And my boss approached me - I work with men - and he did the sexual projection at me. And then he told me to kiss his hand. I just went red and then nothing. Then I wanted to feel the feeling but I wasn't angry, I wasn't anything. I was just like now, going red. I just felt going red and I wanted to go home and feel that emotion.

What did you want to do? Right in that moment what did you want to do to him?

Participant: I just wanted to shut down and close my eyes.

Okay, so you wanted to avoid.

Participant: Yeah.

Okay. Why?

Participant: I don't know how to act in situations like that.

No you do actually.

Participant: Okay.

You're just scared to.

Participant: I'm too scared to. I guess I am afraid.

Yeah you're scared to. You see what was happening in this situation, and by the way many of you women need to have a listen to this one because this is something that's very common with sexual projections at you; when people sexually project at you, you will have one of two separate reactions. Usually one reaction will be either anger or rage or the other reaction will be withdrawal like you're doing.

Now if I loved myself, what would I do in this situation? If it were me getting sexually projected at by a woman boss, I would say I don't care whether you're my boss or not, the truth is that you were just sexually inappropriate with me and the truth is that I don't deserve this. In other words I would stand up to this situation and state the truth. "Your sexual projection is out of line and to be frank with you if you do it again I'm going to write down this instance in a diary and if you do it again I am going to do something about it." Do you follow me? Why didn't you do that? [00:52:43.02]

Participant: I froze.

You were ...

Participant: Not in love with me.

You were afraid. What were you afraid of? Want some help?

Participant: Yes please.

What do men do when they don't get what they want? What's your belief?

Participant: They get angry.

So you are afraid of a man's anger, and particularly a man who is "superior" in quotation marks, because there's no one who is ever superior to you, but you're afraid of a man's anger because you're afraid of the power that he might have over you.

So what do you do? You go into management mode. Management mode is one of two things. You either give the man a little bit of what he wants so that he doesn't do it worse. So some of you will flick into giving him a bit of a sexual projection in return so that he doesn't get worse with you, so that now the control comes back to you; that's one option. Or the other option is to withdraw, go within yourself, rather than actually standing up for yourself. And the Law of Attraction event is saying to you, you need to have more love of yourself when it comes to relationships with men. [00:54:15.09]

Now if you had told him that the sexual projection was out of line, you would have then confronted this fear that you had, but instead what happened in this particular instance is you withdrew, which didn't confront the fear; it just reinforced the fear as valid and that's why you stopped crying.

Whenever we do something that's out of harmony with love of self we will often then react towards ourselves in a negative way; in other words punishing ourselves and so forth. The key is to not punish yourself; the key is to see that actually what was being triggered was your fear of a man's possible anger about not getting what he wants; and the key for you is to go into that emotionally; and now you're starting to connect to some of that. So let yourself connect to some of that.

So in almost every situation that we can come up with there are usually reasons why we do different things. A lot of the reasons are to do with either fear or anger, or a fear of other people's fear, or a fear of other people's anger. A lot of times that's what shuts us down.

I've had terrible emotions to deal with about people's anger. At one stage when I was doing these talks, giving these talks for free, and there would be some women in the audience who would go home and talk to their husbands. You notice most of the audiences are fairly mixed, a good mixture of men and women in most audiences? But early days there were a few more women than men in the audiences and they would go home and tell their husbands what they were getting taught and their husbands would ring me up, threatening to kill me if I spoke to them - their wives – again: my Law of Attraction.

So I would feel all of these terrible feelings of fear about a man's potential violence towards me. And I went through lots and lots of emotions about that, working my way through those things emotionally. My suggestion is allow yourself to deal with those emotions.

Now one way you can address a fear is to actually do the opposite of what the fear dictates. So the fear dictated to you to leave the situation. If you do the opposite of what the fear dictated, you would have stayed in the situation and said to him, "What you've done is very inappropriate, what you've done is actually out of harmony with the work policy for a start but also it's out of harmony with the fact that I don't want your sexual projections. When you sexually project at me like this you are actually out of line when you're working with me. You are harming me and I don't want you to do that anymore and if you do it again I'm going to do something about it." That's what you didn't want to do. [00:57:05.23]

This is what we often do with our family, our parents, our siblings, all sorts of people with whom we have emotional issues - we avoid doing something, and that's the emotion that's getting triggered. The emotion's that's getting triggered is the fear that you have within you because we need to release these fears, and get them out of you, because when you get them out of you for a start you won't attract a man who's an angry man who's a sexual sleaze to come up to you, you won't attract that kind of man anymore because he will feel from you - oh this person's not able to be manipulated sexually by me being angry with her, she's just going to be more resistive. So he won't feel the need to even project at you in most cases. And if he does and you address the issue, do you think he's going to do it again? Highly unlikely.

9.2. An example of managing others' anger

Participant: On that AJ, most of my life with that situation I've stayed there but I've made a joke out of it. So I've continued in the conversation and the dialogue but I've always turned it into a joke.

You manage the man. It's a pattern you've learnt from childhood, how to manage the man.

Many of us do this with anger. See anger is one of the most damaging emotions you could ever project at another person, it's one of the most controlling emotions that you have within you. The reason why we use anger towards other people is so that we can control them and manipulate them.

Now what we learn in return often is how to manage other people's anger and the way we manage it is by a large variety of things. If we're a man it's different to if we're a woman. If you're a man oftentimes you manage another man's anger by doing the he-man thing you know, and if you're bigger than him you can get away with that but if you're smaller than him, you probably won't. [00:59:06.05]

If you're a woman, how do you manage a man's anger? You're not going to he-man him, you're not going to be able to impose yourself upon him and make him scared of you very much, so what you do is you learn a lot of other techniques: one of the techniques is to give him a sexual projection; you give him a sexual projection, he gets something in return and there's a high likelihood you can manipulate him a little through that interaction; or you joke with him, turn the situation into a light hearted situation that diffuses anger in many cases and causes their mind to go somewhere else instead of what's made them angry. So that's another method we often use.

Many people use sadness; they go into a cowering type sadness hoping that will actually trigger the person into feeling compassion or mercy. We use all sorts of things when another person is angry. The key is to look at the mechanisms we use and to feel the underlying fears involved in each mechanism.

It's different between the genders too. So if I'm a man and I'm used to angry women, my mother was angry with me all my life, then I'll manage women a different way. What I'll do is I'll always placate the woman, in most cases, or I'll be more angry than they are: so I'll do one of those two things. Often in my case I would placate the woman, I would make her feel comfortable so she didn't have those angry emotions and then I'd feel I could relax.

Oftentimes what we're doing with all sorts of our interactions is managing the other person's unloving emotion. When you become at-one with God you no longer manage anyone's unloving emotions. You always have the goal of confronting an unloving emotion, of actually exposing it. So to get between that place and the place where we are now means dealing with a lot of our fears.

To be frank, fear is the single most largest problem we face on the planet, let alone individually. It's the fear that causes the battle of your own soul. If you didn't fear anything, you'd be experiencing your emotions just like a child would who had nothing to fear. So in reality all of your blockages to emotion are fear-based. They are all False Expectations Appearing Real. They appear real to us because they happened to us, they happened to us when we were little, and so we believe they are going to keep happening.

So when daddy came along and he was angry, what did we have to do with daddy? We had to joke with him, we had to placate. What about when the schoolyard bully came along and was angry with us, what did we have to do with him? We had to this, we had to do that. We learn these techniques that we then carry through the rest of our life. As you release your emotions you will find you'll come up with all the fears that are blocking your emotion and it's really great to be able to access them. [01:02:16.12]

So in your case the issue is managing the other person's anger through humour. Many men have this by the way and they use it quite well. This is why many women love a man with a good sense of humour. What do you find attractive in a man? It doesn't matter how he looks, it doesn't matter how he does this, it doesn't matter what character he has, it doesn't matter how much honesty he has or how much faith he has or how much love he has, any of those things don't matter; what matters is he's got a good sense of humour. So what's going on there? There's some avoidance of some pretty big emotion in there. This is the trouble with a lot of our attractions - we think a lot of our attractions are harmless, but actually they're addictions.

10. Addictions are a major way of avoiding causal emotions

And that brings me to addictions. This is the last thing I'd like to discuss today. One of the best ways to avoid your causal emotion is to get another person to fix it for you. I'll say that again - one of the best ways to avoid experiencing your own causal emotion is to get somebody else to fix it for you.

10.1. An example of feeling that receiving gifts equates to love

So let's look at this: "I feel unloved." There's a high likelihood my addiction will be that everyone around me has to love me. Do they have to love you? No. No one around you has to love you; no one around you has to love you at all. Love is a gift. Can a gift be expected? No. So if love is a gift and a gift can't be expected, does everyone around you have to love you? No. But what happens is if I feel unloved inside of myself and I can't love myself, in other words I have so much self-loathing that I can't love myself, I will then become addicted to somebody else loving me. So my addiction becomes them loving me.

Now let's say I'm a lady and a part of that addiction is when I was young the only time daddy ever loved me was when he gave me a gift. Now what's going to happen in this connection? Not only do I feel unloved when I don't get a gift but now if a man gives me gifts all the time, I'm going to think he loves me, when in reality all he could be doing is just wanting to get into my panties. But I'm going to think he loves me because I have that emotion. [01:05:37.24]

So I'm feeling unloved, and then on top of that have the emotion that gifts mean love, then all of a sudden I have a group of addictions. So what do I find? I find a man in this case who gives me gifts and that's love to me. And you know what happens after two years of getting gifts? The man forgets sometimes. So he's out working or whatever else and he wants to get a bit of extra cash together then he makes a mistake maybe of going off with his mates to the pub or something and he doesn't get the gift. So he comes home and there's no gift. What am I feeling now? I'm feeling unloved. Is this man any good anymore? No, he's no good anymore. Give him to somebody else; he doesn't know how to love me.

10.2. Anger usually indicates an addiction is not being met

So what happens with almost every emotion within us is we set up these addictions with other people. Remember last time we talked about addictions, these addictions are like these big tentacles, you could think of them like octopus tentacles with all these suckers on the end, coming out of you, waiting to actually wrap somebody up in the other end of the addiction. Eventually it connects and it's got you, and that's the addiction and usually the other person has the opposite addiction of course; that's how the interaction occurs. If the other person doesn't have the opposite addiction, you'd get angry with them because see - addictions must be satisfied.

We see this a lot with addictions that are physical in nature. So if you take away a drink from a man who's addicted to alcohol, what happens? He gets upset, he gets angry - he needs the drink. You have a man addicted to heroin and you take away his heroin without any methadone or whatever other process there is, what happens? He gets upset, he wants that stuff because that's the addiction - you've got to have it and you get angry when you don't get your addictions met. You get a man who wants sex all the time and you take away his sex, what happens? Well you'll find in a few days, man, he's an angry man now, which is his real nature by the way.

The key thing to remember with your addictions is if you're getting angry it's because you're not getting an addiction met in most cases. The only case where that's not true is where you have a fear, but even then most of the time you're getting angry about it is still related to you not getting an addiction met. So addictions are a very, very good way of actually helping you access a causal emotion, a very powerful way.

10.3. Common addictions

So let's look at some addictions. Can you think of some addictions that a person may have? [01:08:53.24]

10.3.1. Needing to be touched

Participant: Touch.

Touch. I'm addicted to touch. This is a very good one. What will I do if I'm addicted to touch?

Participant: We'll have an expectation from those close to us, partners especially, that I need to be touched.

So I'll have an expectation that I'm always getting touched. From your children as well; an expectation of children and partner and so forth. So what will happen as soon as they don't touch me, what am I going to feel? Unloved. I'm not loved anymore. Just by them not touching me I feel unloved. Now that's a really insidious one because that can have a lot of sexual connotations to it can't it? See a lot of times women in particular swap sexual contact with touch. So I'm addicted to touch, the man when he gets touched gets all horny, so what I then do is I make a compromise. The compromise being that I get involved sexually with the man in order to have that lovely nice nurtured touched feeling, so I'm addicted to the touch feeling and I'll do anything for it. [01:10:29.15]

We'll do anything for all addictions. Just like the man with, "Give me the drugs, give me the drugs, give me the drugs!" It's like that. "Give me the touch, give me the touch, give me the touch!" And when it's happening I'm happy. As soon as it doesn't happen I'm very unhappy. And this is something to look at with addictions because they are very powerful ways to avoid causal emotion. Just trying to think of some of my addictions.

Participant: Maple syrup.

Huh? Maple syrup? That's not really an addiction; I don't have it much anymore. I've lost most of my addictions and now I can't remember the ones I had.

Mary: I've got plenty.

I used to love ice cream.

Mary: I've still got lots.

You've still got lots; do you want to mention one?

10.3.2. Needing a man's praise and agreement

Mary: The man should agree with me, praise me, in order for me to feel loved. If a man points out a fault in me he doesn't love me.

Okay if he points out faults. So if he praises you he loves you, if he points out a fault he hates you now and you're not feeling loved anymore. [01:11:49.29]

Mary: When really it's almost the reverse. It's so far in error.

Yeah. Like when he points out a fault it's just devastating.

Mary: But if I were in harmony with love it would actually be a loving thing for my partner to point out where I was in error.

Exactly. So you can see how you can be way, way down the road of error if you do different things.

Mary: Yeah it depends on how he does it.

On how he points out the faults. If he yells and screams at you it's not very loving obviously but if you're addicted to not even having the fault pointed out to you, and only the praise. Let's say I'm a woman, that will often come from my father only ever praising me - he just thinks the sun shines out of my bottom and he just worships the ground I walk on all of my life. So of course I'm going to be addicted to praise me, that's love. It's not love though is it? But I'll feel that's love. [01:12:50.06]

Mary: It can be a loving act but to equate one with love and one with not love, that's where the error is.

10.3.3. Receiving attention and being heard

Participant: A lot of people just crave attention of any sort.

Attention - yeah that's a very good one. You see most of the time the reason why we have terrible cravings for attention because most of the time in our childhood we went completely unnoticed. Lots of us went completely unnoticed. That was particularly the case for the older generation; the more unnoticed we were probably. Remember there was this whole thing of be seen and not heard. "You're a child - be seen and not heard." So of course you're going to crave attention.

Or if someone doesn't hear you - hear me is another addiction. "Hear me, hear me, hear me, hear me!" And so what happens in that one I'm starting to talk to everybody, this is the time when I tell my long winded story and half the people are not even listening because the Law of Attraction is already at work in that the more I say, the more I open my mouth, the more they're not hearing me, they're off in some other land. So I feel, "They weren't very nice, they never heard me, I don't like them, I don't get along with them" and so forth. That's what happens. These are all covering childhood emotions we need to feel. So our addictions are really, really good tools to help us access underlying emotions.

Any other ones you can think of?

10.3.4. Feeling appreciated

Participant: I know this is mine - not being appreciated.

Okay being appreciated.

Participant: You know you do everything and nobody ever says thank you and a bit of appreciation.

Okay so you cook every night and nobody says thanks for the meal. You wash up the dishes afterwards, nobody says thanks for that. Do you know what that means too? You notice with all of these it's because we don't do it to ourselves. You see if I don't appreciate myself then I'm going to put myself night after night after night after night in a situation where nobody else appreciates me either. But see if I appreciated myself I wouldn't do that.

See most of our addictions are born from the fact that it's not within me already. So if I have an addiction - praise me, praise me, praise me, it means that I don't think I'm praise worthy. It means that I don't think I'm really any good and I need you to tell me I'm good so that I feel good about myself. The same goes with attention - if I need your attention it means that I don't take any notice of myself. I don't feel like I'm worthy within myself to have attention being given to me so I want you to do it for me. [01:15:39.23]

10.3.5. Being addicted to negative attention

Participant: On the line of attention there's a negative attention. Negative behaviour.

Being addicted to negative attention?

Participant: Addicted to negative attention.

Certainly. You can see how that addiction occurred, hey. When you were little, the only attention you got was when you got a belting or when you got in trouble. So after a while what happens is you're seeking trouble. So if you're the man you become the troubled man, the troubled teenager, the troubled adult and you're just always in trouble. Really in the end all you're doing is seeking love through the trouble but you're addicted to it and you don't know how to let that go.

10.3.6. Reading and exercise

Participant: I was just going to say that lots of things that aren't negative within themselves can be addictions too. Like reading and exercise.

Yes true. So reading and exercise, I'm more talking about emotions here but that's very true. There are actual activities that we can become addicted to as well. The test to see whether you are addicted to anything is: "do you get angry or anxious or fearful when it's taken away from you", because that's a good indication that it's an addiction.

10.3.7. Needing to be right

Participant: AJ I was hoping you could tell me what the underlying emotion is to needing to be right all the time.

So need to be right. What do you think it might be?

Participant: Not feeling stupid.

Exactly. With almost all emotional addictions it's the opposite emotion that we're avoiding. You can see with praise me, I'm avoiding that I'm not praiseworthy. Being appreciated, I'm avoiding the fact that I'm unappreciated. Wanting attention, I got none. Can you see the pattern? There's always the flipside. What we're doing with addictions is we want the other person to actually fulfil something within myself that I am not already fulfilling within myself or that I don't feel God can fulfil within myself. So what I'm doing is when I say praise me, praise me, praise me, please praise me, I'm actually saying to everyone else you've got to praise me because I can't praise myself. I can't feel good about myself unless I receive your praise. And it's the same with all of these addictions. [01:18:11.21]

10.4. Identifying addictions to access causal emotions

Now the secret is whenever you feel angry or rage, it is usually because you are avoiding the fact that whatever it is you're angry about is an addiction that you're not getting satisfied. What you're doing is you're projecting it as an expectation to people around you. If you look at addictions it's a really powerful way to really hone in on some causal emotion. Addictions are so simple to access a casual emotion because it's always the opposite of what you're addicted to that you're avoiding within yourself. So it's really simple.

Participant: When you say whenever you're feeling anger or rage, that's likely to be an addiction that you're not getting satisfied. Are you talking then also about the slight annoyances?

Yep, slight annoyances right down into the little smidge of annoyance. So annoyance, I'm annoyed, I'm frustrated, all of that is all part of the addiction, so allow yourself to see them as addictive behaviours. When you connect with that, you can do some really powerful things with your emotional work. [01:19:35.05]

10.4.1. Being addicted to being busy

Participant: AJ what's workaholism?

What is it? It's an addiction to be busy. Why am I addicted to be busy? Why do you think you would be addicted to be busy? So you don't have to feel, you don't have to stop and feel yourself. I was addicted to being busy, trust me. I was running four companies; I was just addicted to being busy.

Participant: Isn't that the same as what Paula was saying - it doesn't matter what our addiction is, it's a distraction to not feel.

Here I'm talking about emotional addictions, whereas Paula raised the issue of actually physical addictions.

Participant: And is that the same as a workaholic?

Workaholic is a physical addiction, yeah, which covers an emotional addiction. So, all physical addictions do cover emotional addictions. The key is to hone in on the emotional addiction, when you hone in on the emotional addiction, the flip side of the addiction is the emotion you're avoiding. So it's quite simple then to access the emotions. [01:20:54.10]

10.4.2. An addiction to giving to others

Participant: What about time? I want to give people so much time and then I don't want the time back.

So you're giving away your time all the time?

Participant: Well when I spend time with people, I give them all the attention, I give them all this time, but then I go through periods where I can't have that back at all.

You can't or ...

Participant: I can't, I don't want it.

You don't accept it back?

Participant: No, no, no, I just want my own time; leave me alone, it's the addiction of wanting to give time and the addiction of not wanting any time.

So what do you think is happening?

Participant: Okay, exhaustion.

So what happens is you give and give and give and give until you're exhausted, and then you say, "Alright I've got to stop now, I just need my own time, please don't anybody demand anything of me now." [01:21:48.14]

Participant: Okay but what's the addiction? If time is my addiction, then what's the opposite?

Now we're talking about a physical addiction and it's very similar to the workaholism that Sven brought up.

Mary: Or a desire to be loved.

Yeah well in the end all of them are a desire to be loved, noticed or whatever. I was addicted to be a workaholic so that I could feel good about myself. I felt I never created enough. So what I did was I just worked and worked and worked myself into the ground in order to create enough so that I could just feel good about myself. It didn't matter what anybody else said to me, people were saying, "Oh it's amazing what you're doing, I don't know how you get the time," and all that. I didn't notice any of that. All I noticed was I wasn't doing enough yet because I wasn't happy with how much I had achieved yet. So I had a lot of judgements about that.

So physical addictions are always covering over emotional addictions, and my emotional addiction was unless I was a super achiever I couldn't feel good about myself. So my addiction was I want to feel good about myself through what I achieved. The flip side is what I needed to feel - "I can't achieve anything that is of any worth," which is what I've had to feel. So it's always the flip side in the end that you'll need to feel. [01:23:13.24]

10.4.3. Being addicted to truth

Participant: AJ can you be addicted to truth?

It's a wonderful addiction. In a negative sense are you asking? Can you be addicted to truth in a negative sense?

Participant: Yeah can there be negative aspects to it?

I don't feel so. If you're talking about God's Truth, I don't feel so.

Participant: What about man's truth?

Well man's truth is very different to God's Truth, and if you're addicted to man's truth it can become a nightmare. Usually the reason why we're addicted to man's truth is because we have a deep feeling within us that we're not intelligent enough, we don't know enough, and we only feel good when we know more. So if we're addicted to man's truth it's usually because of those kinds of emotions.

Being addicted to God's Truth is a really good thing to do, to have a strong desire for God's Truth. And when you say having an addiction to God's Truth, when you are addicted to God's Truth if we use the term "addiction", you won't ever get angry about not having it. So if you're getting angry about not having it then there's another emotional addiction and it's certainly not for God's Truth, it's for something else. [01:24:34.23]

Participant: And so that's sort of tied into honesty?

An addiction to honesty? Well if we're expecting honesty from others then we're addicted to honesty for personal reasons, and we need to look at that, certainly. Because in the end I cannot expect honesty from you because honesty is a gift of love that you would give me, but I can't expect it. As soon as I expect it I'm out of harmony with love myself, so I need to look at that inside of myself - why am I addicted to honesty and how do I react?

Now remember a sign of an addiction is that we get angry, annoyed or frustrated, if it doesn't happen. So look at anything that makes you angry, annoyed, frustrated if it doesn't happen, look at those addictions.

Now it's already 5:30pm so we need to finish. Thank you very much for your time again today guys (Applause).
