Can I help you find anything?
Yeah. I'm looking for a book.
You probably need more than that.
I want a book about, you know... relationship stuff.
Ooh, relationship stuff.
No, not 'ooh, relationship stuff'. Just relationship stuff.
In the self help section.
Thanks.
Best of luck.
This is worse than buying condoms.
Okay, let's see.
'Why relationships fail'.
'Smart women, foolish choices'.
Thank God for those gals.
Excuse me.
- Sorry.
Oh, 'Embracing your soulmate'?
Oh, 'soulmate'.
I thought it was 'cellmate'.
You know, a prison love story.
I see.
Not that I'm into prison love stories.
I like the girls in prison stuff.
Oh, who am I kidding.
I'm looking for some help, okay?
Well, you're not alone. There are millions of people out there looking for help.
Gee, thanks for making me feel special!
Let me ask you something.
What would you change about yourself if you could?
I don't know. Little things, I guess.
Like what?
Well, I guess I'd like to be a little happier.
Maybe find a way to sustain a healthy relationship with a woman so I don't, you know... grow old and die alone.
Incontinent and unloved.
Ah, yes. The little things!
Can I recommend a book for you?
As long as I'm here.
'Breaking barriers: finding the intimacy you deserve'.
I don't know, I was hoping to do better than I deserve.
Give it a chance, I hear it's helped a lot of people.
For 25 bucks it better wash my car.
Wait a minute. Is this you?
Armor All is extra.
Cool!
Will you sign it for me?
I'd be happy to. What's your name?
Charlie.
Okay.
Great! Now that it's autographed I'm not a loser, I'm a collector.
Here you go.
'To Charlie. Reading a self help book doesn't make you less of a man'.
Okay, back to loser!
You're not a loser, Charlie. Like most men, you're just afraid to be vulnerable.
Excuse me, but what sane person wants to be vulnerable?
If you're not vulnerable, you can't feel anything.
Yeah, and?
Read the book.
Wait!
Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
Why?
I'd like to talk to you some more.
Are you still gonna buy the book?
I have to, you wrote all over it.
Then sure, why not.
Great.
If I give you the money, will you pay for it? I don't need any more sympathy from the help.
