

I Found Grace

Published by Oyeniyi Miriam at Smashwords

Copyright 2017 Oyeniyi Miriam

All Scripture quotations are taken from the Amplified version of the Bible, unless otherwise indicated.

Front page art by Ponmile Oluwapelumi (+2378038293349)

Smashwords Edition Licence Notes

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DEDICATED TO GOD,

THE CUSTODIAN OF SAVING GRACE.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Even after the making of the hard copies, I knew there were some people I would still love to mention in the eBook version. God, the Number One (but of course!), my parents, my best friend Ponmile Oluwapelumi, My brothers Daniel and Michael, the book crew members, my grandma, the Oluwatosins, the Fabunmis, the Ikeobis, the Dipeolus, the Fafiolus, the Oyinloyes, the Ekundayos, the Fayokuns, the Gbadebos, the Ayo Ajasas, all my amazing friends and everyone who trusted me with their personal stories. If I had to tell about each of you, the entire book would not contain it. So for your care and ever constant support, I say thank you. May the good Lord Who sees you in secret reward your good works openly.
**PROLOGUE**

Hello, condemnation, it's over between us.

Hello, guilt, it's over between us.

Hello, fear, _adieus!_

Hello, shadows of the past, we have come quite a long way,

Hello, y'all the negatives feelings, bye!

I'm putting this call through from under the wings of Christ,

I escaped from your camp last night,

When Jesus Himself came to rescue me from your fangs!

Yeah, that's how it is now!

I've finally found the friend of friends,

I found His grace too!

Now, let this be the last I hear from you!

I've given all over to my Savior!

I've told Him I can't handle you all alone anymore,

It was He Who gave me the courage to face you,

Let this be the very last I hear from you!

I'm so done letting you steal from me!

If again you ever think of dialing or visiting,

Remember something for your own good:

I now have something in my life you can't handle:

Faith!

I was blind but now I see,

Now I know I don't have to be hit.

As I hang up, you listen real well,

It will never be mine to attend to you again,

Faith will be there to answer henceforth,

That's how it is now!

I've escaped and the best part of it is,

There's nothing you can do about it!

Hello, shadows from the past,

So long and sour but now I'm free,

I'm happy goodbye has finally come!

I have now the substance of things hoped for,

I have now the Spirit of adoption

And I'm hanging up...now!  
P ART 1
CHAPTER 1

LET GO OF YOUR PAST !

He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past.

George Orwell

Talk is cheap. Yeah, I know talk is cheap, but then you still need to let it go. Cry if you need to, then clean the tears and be up.

The following story is not exactly a favorite, but to make my points clear and well cut out, I'll share it. You may be familiar with it.

After David fell into the slippery sin of adultery in 2nd Samuel 11, a curse was placed upon his family, and this happened to change the course of his biography forever. You see, my problem with it was that his innocent daughter became a victim of that curse.

David had many sons and his only named daughter was Tamar. Tamar took after her daddy in beauty, she was beautiful, robed in purple, shielded from common eyes and was being groomed to marry some glamorous prince. This beautiful daughter of David was soaking her feet in the warm tub, taking tips from her mother and awaiting the arrival of a befitting suitor, had to be a young outstanding warrior of sound reputation or some other exceptional kind of man. That day, when the daughters of the court would come around, they would sing for her with envy in their cheeks and her own mother would draw cam wood patterns on her fair skin in preparation for the ceremony that would initiate her into her husband's home. Tamar was awaiting that day when she would bring honor to her father's noble house by getting married to the man he approved of, for this is the dream of every young woman; the majority, and I bet Tamar was not an exception. I introduce Tamar, and she is no ordinary princess, I assure you, she belongs to one of the bravest warrior-kings who ever lived and who would not permit an ordinary man to cast a thought on his beautiful daughter.

Just then, the story takes an awkward turn. Right under the breath of David awaited something terrible for his daughter, and for them all...

"Absalom son of David had a fair sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon [her half brother] son of David loved her. And Amnon was so troubled that he fell sick for his [half] sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and Amnon thought it impossible for him to do anything to her."

"Amnon...loved her"? (Scoffs), he did not love her. Wait a minute, did he? Nah, he did not. I believe you understand what the Bible meant by _love_ in that text, yes, it is the very same _intense_ feeling of lust which many still suffer from today. Amnon had known Tamar since she was born, I believe. They probably played hide and seek together in kindergarten and fought over soya milk. Perfect siblings you see, but at some point, something happened. Tamar cut the feminine curves and stopped being just a girl. Everybody noticed, including Amnon.

Can you relate with this? I think I can. I see some of those old playmates today and cannot believe it is them. You almost don't feel in their _league_ anymore, they are now so cool and classy. The problem with Amnon was that he did quite more than noticing. In our time, we call this 'crush', or whatever, but usually, you crush on movie stars, your favorite celebrities, well, cool classmates, nice neighbors, bla bla bla. No. Amnon was crushing on his own sister. So tough it became for him that he fell sick. Now, that is terrible.

It would only be hypocritical to sit and judge Amnon while we eat fish and sip wine. Many of us are just like him. Some of us are worse. If that is you, it's okay, I was probably far worse than you are. We sometimes let our minds play tricks on us, back and forth from one unlikely imagination to another, and the reason why some of us are not yet in physical phase with Amnon is because we do not have the Jonadab to cheer us on.

"But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab son of Shimeah, David's brother; and Jonadab was a very crafty man."

Jonadab was cousin to Amnon and Tamar.

"Jonadab said to him, Go to bed and pretend you are sick; and when your father comes to see you, say to him, Let my sister Tamar come and give me food and prepare it in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand."

Jonadab was quite a _thinker._ I kind of like to call him Jonabad, not Jonadab.

The devil has a knack for giving bad advice when you request for it. He has _perfect_ plans in bank, ready on demand. Amnon had one of those delivered to his dining table and he followed it to the letter. At his request, King David sent for Tamar to come quickly. Nobody suspected a thing. Not the king nor Tamar's mother, not Tamar nor anyone. Think about it, really, why would anyone of them have had to be suspicious? Try this scenario: Daddy's boy suddenly fell very ill and lost his appetite, but he was saying that if his sister could come make him some food, he would eat. What do you think? Tamar could have been a really good cook, maybe the special touch of a meal prepared by her would help him eat, maybe they were even quite _close_. Oh, whatever, the prince was ill and his loved ones were naturally anxious to have him get better.

Sweet young Tamar rushed down.

"She took the pan and emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, send everyone out from me. So everyone went out from him."

Amnon asked for everyone to leave the house for his sister and him, and 'everyone' would have meant his servants and maybe his friends- but had to be people he had control over. At this point, you would have thought that Amnon had something which he wanted to share only with his sister. Anybody who stayed behind would have been playing with his life. We all know how important it is for a sick person to eat. David would probably have been the one to bury the offender alive, for disobeying the wishes of his eldest son who was terribly ill and was trying to eat something at least. Even if anybody did suspect anything (which I doubt they did), Amnon's servants were meant to obey him and they dared not raise an objection, except they were ready to lose their jobs and lose their lives. Besides, _Jonabad_ was probably somewhere around, making sure everything went according to plan, and this young woman simply walked into the enemy's trap. Brother-sister relationship is one of trust, which was why nobody would suspect such ordinarily, which was why David himself (a master at women affairs) did not suspect. Amnon simply betrayed the trust anyone would have for a sibling. So, if you think I should call Tamar a whore or an idiot, I'm sorry, I won't. That she was naive may only be to say, but except you are experienced or sensitive to the Holy Spirit, you will not suspect a thing.

"And when she brought them to him, he took hold of her hand and said, Come lie with me, my sister. She replied, No, my brother! Do not force [and] humble me, for no such thing should be done in Israel! Do not do this foolhardy scandalous thing!"

Did Amnon listen to her? It would have been heroic if he did. It was a critical moment and Amnon's storm of passion was at its peak. There was simply no stopping. It was not said that Tamar shouted or screamed, but what's the use of judging? She learnt her lesson.

"Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that his hatred for her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, Get up and get out."

That's what I thought he'd say, actually.

"Now Tamar was wearing a long robe with sleeves {and} of various colors, for in such robes were the king's virgin daughters clad of old. Then Amnon's servant brought her out and bolted the door after her."

She was devastated, who wouldn't be?

"And [she] put ashes on her head, and tore the long sleeved robe which she wore, and she laid her hand on her head and went away, shrieking and wailing."

On getting home, somehow, her other big brother did not need her to tell the long story.

"And Absalom her brother said to her, Has your brother Amnon been with you? Be quiet now, my sister. He is your brother; take not this matter to heart. So Tamar dwelt in her brother Absalom's house, a desolate woman."

A most grievous story, I tell you. If Absalom were a woman, he could have broken down in tears on seeing his sister, but then, the ending of that story; that was what got on my nerves.

_So Tamar dwelt in her brother Absalom's house, a desolate woman_.

Ay, I'm not comfortable with that ending! Her life was over in what, fifteen minutes?

Truly, maybe nobody would want her now. Dream prince was gone down the drain, the most cherished part of her physical beauty was stolen from her, she would struggle with the memory of her brother's betrayal, and her father would not even punish Amnon or fight for her. She would no longer be able to walk with the virgin daughters of the land. She would not anymore be carried in the golden chariots meant for the virgin princesses. Her colorful robe was torn out; she was in a big mess. Alright, that's a lot, a real lot to handle, but I don't like to accept that there was nothing else to this beautiful woman.

Virginity is crucial, honor is important, but what do you do when you are caught off guard in the race of life? If you trip and fall so hard that you _die_ for minute, when you realize where you are, do you still stay fallen?

Maybe this looks like your story too.

You have probably been hurt by someone who was supposed to be looking out for you. You may have lost something very precious to you. It may be that you were careless or maybe it was not your fault at all. Maybe you are so disappointed in yourself because of your failure to present yourself as a living sacrifice unto God and you feel God has rejected you and won't accept you back, listen, all these feelings are to be expected, but please do not write yourself off like Tamar did.

"Come now, let us settle the matter, says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool." Isaiah 1:18.

Maybe it is about a grave mistake you feel you made, maybe you got into yourself into what you were not supposed to or maybe you are just experiencing something very unpalatable, God does not have any joy in your death or falling away, but that you should come to repentance, why not receive the Grace of God that is extended towards you, so that you can fulfill your God-given destiny despite all? This is the point where you get to be better and smarter for all that happened. Tamar's rape wasn't the end of the world, obviously. I mean, life went on after that and life would still go on even now. If she had come out of it, we would have been saying a different story today. She would probably have created the thirtieth chapter of that book, and verse one could have read something like:

"But behold, Tamar daughter of David who was humbled by her [half] brother Amnon arose early in the morning, on the first day of the week, and she purified herself and went into the temple of the Lord. And Tamar prayed with great heaviness in her spirit."

What would follow? We know God will not ignore her. It would have been something like:

"And God heard the cry of Tamar, and behold, the Most High did not ignore her weeping, and He had compassion on her."

How about that? I'm a good dreamer, I know, but, how about? I know it is easier said than done, but Tamar needn't have been forgotten, no matter how you slice it. Excuse me; if you are presently in Tamar's shoes, there is restoration in Christ. I'm sorry for what you have been through. I'm sorry for everything that happened to you, but I can't let you sit around for too long, pitying yourself. It's time to get up.

The name, Tamar, means 'Date tree' or 'Palm tree'. Let me take you back to Grandpa's farm where there are plenty of palm trees. Once grown, palm stays rooted. It's rugged, wound it, it will come around again, no matter how long it takes, all these give the tree its most prominent quality: fruitfulness. Tamar did not answer this powerful name. She went desolate which means she remained barren (unfruitful), laid waste, crushed by grief, inconsolable... You can be sad for Tamar but don't fall into the same trap.

It is time to get up.

Tamar was stuck! She was defiled! She was stained by incestuous rape. Don't you see how helpless she was?

Yes, being a princess and a Jew, things must have been quite tough for her after that, but I also see that she had a future she could have lived for. Princesses were expected to be virgins. It was their default sexual state before marriage and that is the way things ought to be, princess or not, but I did not read it anywhere that God said, "Let the young and prominent men marry only virgins."

There was hope for Tamar, even if she had lost one thing about a princess. I only wish she had not given up at the first knockdown. I wish you wouldn't give up at the first knockdown, or at any knockdown for that matter. It is time to get up.

When I got to that full stop up there, I stopped this book for a while- about two days, and through those very few days, I had an experience that made me understand a little better what Tamar must have been through. Think, maybe Tamar could have had a breakthrough, if her mother had stood by her.

My own mother has been my most cherished human adviser; she has trained me to be strong and to put God first in all things. Perhaps, the fact that she has been through so much makes me want to see her happy all the time. When I first left home for the university, she came to my campus to see me and I remember how I cried all the way back to my room that day because I was going to miss her. Mom is wise. She is not always right but she has a good sense of judgment. A few days ago, we had a little argument. I really hurt her and did not know it until later. By then, a very unattractive "gap" had grown between us and when I tried to say something, I did not make too much sense. That left me disconcerted and sad. I shed bitter tears at the fear of losing my coolest confidant, (of course that was just an unreasonable fear). And today, I remembered I was writing about Tamar.

God had to let me really understand what this young woman must have gone through, with the eyes of all of Israel upon her, and none of her parents coming to shield her. How did she feel, not getting some drastic support from her father? David with all his influence and affluence was not able to fight for his one and only princess, or at least it was not recorded, that's because he never did.Was he too busy to worry a0bout a girl? Was it that Tamar was not valuable to him? Or was he just plain insensitive? I'm guessing that he saw his own weakness (of sensual looseness, that is) in his first son and he did not want to be a pot calling kettle black, that kind of thing. For whatever reason it was, Tamar would have been deeply hurt because if she were his only child, he would have done that much, and more. Whatever explanation there was to it, for all we know, Tamar was just not worth the stress to them. The only person recorded to have been there for her was her brother, Absalom, who housed her after the incidence, she couldn't even return to the palace. Then Absalom, after two full years, murdered Amnon in cold blood for what he did. This was wrong too, but it was David who refused to act first. Absalom's revenge did not end there; for he went on to despise his father, and one thing led to another, till he too, dropped dead while trying to fight his father, who was a heavily anointed king. Tamar carried the hurt for the rest of her life and Queen Maacah, her mother, was not even mentioned through her crisis. That is b-i-t-t-e-r. Don't argue that the queen was _just a woman._ Deborah was just a woman, so was Esther, so was Rebekah, so was Miriam the sister of Moses, and so was Jochebed, who defied Pharaoh's orders and hid same baby Moses for months. If anyone was _just a woman_ , it would have had to be Jochebed, not Maacah.

We all need our parents. Even grown and married folks still tell us that they need their parents. Good parents are priceless, but what happens if they are not there? Does this excuse you? Will you just give up? If you have a problem with your parents, reconcile with them. Seriously. Throw away the pride and let them know that you need them. Your parents have feelings too, they love you and desire that you heed their counsels, but you hurt them when you try to prove that you do not need them. Often times what we need do is to let them know that they are important to us, and act so. I just love my mom and dad, and I care about them. I do not know what sort of relationship Tamar had going with her father. Maybe she used to enjoy the glean of approval in his eyes when she walked through the palace courts in her colorful robes. We can imagine now how Tamar must have felt when her father would not even call for her once after all that happened.

If your parents are not people that care for you in the way they ought to, (I am really sorry about that), you are going to have to find your way without them, but not on your own. There are responsible adults who are Christians and who would be willing to help you, to teach you what you need to know and encourage you through your challenges. You can prayerfully find them. Mom and Dad could be the most wonderful pair of people in this world, and on the other hand, they could be a painful pair of thorns in the flesh. If you have the former, get on your knees and thank God. If you have the latter, it is not the end of the world, you will be fine. What I am saying is, whatever it is that has happened, or is happening, don't let it end your life. I'm telling you that no matter what has happened to you, there is a good future, if you will rise up and be strong.

Several things could be going on with you right now but there is nothing about your situation that is strange to God? I have seen from people around me what it means to be in a mess by getting entangled in parasitic relationships, having troubled homes, problems at school and even falling victim of human trafficking. I have seen many that got up and took their stances again, but I have seen many others who never recovered. Do not let this be you. If you realize that you have made a mistake about something, learn from it and let it go so that you can move forward. If you are going through something agonizing right now, be strong, it is going to be alright. Learn from the Bible characters we will be talking about shortly, as well as from people around you who have been all bruised and hurt. It is only one thing I want from you: Do not let your past tie you down. God's grace is available for you, do I hear Amen?
CHAPTER 2

COME HOME TO LOVE

One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful."

Sigmund Freud

At a time, Heaven zoomed focus upon a nice family in the small town of Bethlehem, the family of Elimelech. The man, Elimelech had to flee with his family so that the harsh famine which had recently come upon the land will not wipe them out. The entire family moved to the country of Moab where they met something called...the irony of life. (See story in the book of Ruth).

In a painful turn of events, Elimelech died and his wife, Naomi was left with her two sons, Mahlon (invalid) and Chilion (pining). I have no idea why they gave their kids such names, but that's not our concern right now. The family began to get comfortable in Moab and continued for at least another ten years during which the boys themselves got sweethearts from among the Moab folks. Then again, Mahlon and Chilion died. Naomi lost what we would call everything; her husband and her children. The wives of her sons, Ruth and Orpah had become widows too, after at least ten solid years of marriage. Old Naomi couldn't take it anymore. She began to think she had overstayed her welcome in Moab. Time to go home.

We do not hear of Orpah again after she kissed her mother-in-law and sister-in-law goodbye, but Ruth refused to let Naomi be alone. She was determined to stay with her. A daughter-in-law we all wish for, right?

Back in Bethlehem, Ruth did not dwell in her mother-in-law's house, a desolate woman. She did not get drowned in self-pity or dejection... _who is going to marry me now?_ She did not become desperate or wayward. Full of life, optimistic and strong, with firm hands she took care of Naomi. She was not desolate.

I think I hear you mutter, "Ruth only lost her husband, she was not raped and disgraced". Really? Do you know anyone who has lost a spouse before? How nicely did they come around after the loss? After years of marriage, picking up the remainder of your life following the demise of someone you loved is not exactly a splendid bed-time story. You'd have nightmares if someone told you such a story right before bed-time. I know a few people who have had problems with their marriages (divorce or death), and have still not found their balances even as we speak, years after their painful losses.

Then again, the Moabites were not in any way Israel's favorite people. They were believed to be the product of an act of incest between Lot and his older daughter. They were sometimes at bitter wars with each other, but Ruth did not let that stop her. The death of three men in this story left three women with a no-longer balanced life. You still don't get it? In the New Testament, we come across independent women like Martha; Mary Magdalene and Anna the prophetess, who were not doing too bad without the men, but the older times were not so easy for women without their husbands. Ruth displayed a lot of courage and strength. She would not be pushed to the back of the yard because she was a Moabite or because she was a widow. Her presence in her mother-in-law's life gave the woman something to live for. Naomi could have been reduced to begging or farming in her old age but for strong and kind Ruth. She did not know for sure if she would ever be married again, but she faced the task at hand; to take care of herself and Naomi. She did not live the remainder of her life, a quiet bereaved widow, just surviving. What's that again? She was not desolate.

Ruth took to gleaning, a Jewish act of charity for the less privileged groups of the society such as the orphans and widows. The workers who harvested grains in the fields knew to leave some little portions here and there so that gleaners could pick them up. This was the low job that Ruth took up, and she was not going to be looked down upon, even at that. As it was planned by God, Ruth came to glean in the field of Naomi's rich relative, Boaz, a pleasant man, and an eligible bachelor. He did not waste time to notice Ruth, the Moabite who had followed Naomi down to Bethlehem, The rest, as they say, is history.

Does it sound like some fantasy story that could never be true? No. In fact, there is nothing to be seen as a fantasy about this story. This is a raw story of a young woman's suffering and pain, and also about taking the right actions during the tough days. What do we know? Ruth ended up being the mother of the great grandfather of Tamar, our same Tamar of David, who unfortunately refused to borrow a leaf from her ancestor. Ruth took care of herself and made her hands firm. She was not desolate and I will say that fifty times more.

Yes, coupled with her optimism and determination, Ruth had God's favor upon her life, but believe me, if she had gone desolate, it would have been easy to take the camera off her. Imagine, Ruth, who, centuries ago was weeping and almost dying inside, is today the woman we are talking about, admiring her courage and thanking God for. That is something for you to think about. Time will pass and history will be written, either you like it or not, life will go on.

I am not asking you to try to survive. Actually, anybody can try to survive. I am asking you to break through, on grand scale. Don't let whatever nasty thing it is keep you down. It is true that we are sometimes the catalysts of some horrible things that happen to us, but then, not really. At times, we just find things happen to us. What could Tamar have done, for instance, to prevent her own brother from raping her? The ladies will understand what Tamar could have been feeling, love (healthy) for her own brother. Amnon was _ill_ and she would never in her wildest dreams have thought he would force himself on her, and do not forget this important fact that a curse was actually running in the family as at that time (2 Samuel 12). Now if Tamar had not been at Amnon's house when she was, who knows what could happen to her at some other place that she would be? A situation may not be pleasant but look on the bright side, what if it had been worse? Do I hear you ask, _what could be worse for me than this?_

If Amnon had been killed by a lion while he was out hunting a week to the time he raped his sister, the whole town would have gone mourning. David would have been very sorrowful and Tamar would have cried her eyes out. If at that time, Prophet Me had visited King David's palace and told him while trying to comfort him that the alternative to his present situation could be worse, he would probably have had me flung into his dungeon, but truly, a week later, Amnon was going to rape his virgin sister and bring shame upon the entire land. Let us thank God for this reality that we see, presently pleasant or not. I'm sorry for everything that happened to you, but you have to be strong. Once more, talk is cheap, but it is possible not to let the past stop you from doing great things. Gather the shattered pieces of your life and let Jesus strengthen you.
CHAPTER 3

CLEANING UP

Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.

Cicero

It's hard, but you know what they say, nothing good comes easy. I remember fondly this story about a certain teacher who wanted to teach her fifth graders the value of forgiveness. Each pupil was instructed to gather potatoes. On the potatoes, they were to write the names of everyone that had hurt them in the past, one potato for one name. Each pupil was then to stack his or her own potatoes in a bag and seal. Here is the game: the bags were to be kept close and taken everywhere they went to for the rest of the week. They were to bring the bags to school and take them back home every day along with their school bags and lunch packs, hold them safe when on the playgrounds, in the school bus, in church, while out at picnics and everywhere else they could possibly be. They were to report their experiences at the end of the week.

The bags were heavy. Then, they had to carry them everywhere they went to. They also had to go through the stress of watching over the bags and taking care not to leave them behind in unseemly places. This explained to the fifth graders how stressful it was not to forgive. They realized that the potato bags were loads they should have thrown off the minute they even had them. They were eager to dump the bags at the end of the week, as well as to let go of those they had been holding in their hearts for even longer. They were eager to dump off the loads of dirt.

To forge ahead, you need to clean up. There are scars from the past that you may not be able to totally evict, but there are issues that can and should be worked upon. There are heavy burdens that beg to be thrown off you and I liken them to those needless heavy bags of potatoes which only make your journey stressful for as long as you carry them. I describe them as weights that only increase the pain of their bearer and which need to be dealt with if the past would stop haunting you. As you read in that story, the first of them is:

The People that Hurt

The subject of forgiveness is something that we all almost always have something to do with. That is not alarming, because people hurt one another every day, and we need to forgive continuously, though it may be hard.

Kathryn Kuhlman's father, Joe Kuhlman was coming through a revolving door one night when he was pushed aside by a staggering man who was drunk. Another man standing close by thought Joe was nuts to keep calm and he blurted, "Are you going to let him get away with that?" Joe, who at that time was the Mayor (and the richest man in town), said quietly, "I can afford to".

Kathryn herself took up this character from her father and she exhibited it while responding to her critics. In her biography, 'Daughter of Destiny', her writer, Jamie Buckingham penned down her response to a certain newspaper columnist who had openly mocked her gift of the Word of Knowledge by calling it psychic. Kathryn had said and I quote:

"Two things I shall always remember- your kindness in taking the time to send the personal note, and your hearty laughter (just once) during our interview in the office. Remembering these two incidents, I can forgive you for anything."

In case you saw this issue of forgiveness coming and have been trying to put off thinking about it, you have to face it now. Between the time I started this book to the time I pressed the final key on it, I have had more than one person offend me in major ways. At the same time, I have hurt people too. I can afford to forgive those that hurt me and I can only hope that they will forgive me too. You need to forgive all those that hurt you and made things harder for you. Why? In the long and the short run, it is for your own good.

Corrie ten Boom's family had been using their home as a hiding place for Jews for about eighteen months during the Holocaust; a bloody period of war during the 20th century which started with discrimination against the Jews by the Nazis, and then persecution, then mass murders. Corrie and her family had given up their home to hide as many children, women and men as they could. When the German police found out, they raided their home in February 1944. Those who had been hidden remained undiscovered but Corrie, her father, her brother and her two sisters were taken along with a group of friends, resistance workers and other family members, a group of thirty. The rest of the ten Boom members were released except Corrie, her father and her sister, Betsie. Her father fell sick and died within ten days of arrest and the two sisters remained in prison till June. They were then transferred to an internment camp where they remained till September and then they were finally moved to Ravensbruck Concentration Camp in Germany. This was where Betsie died just ten days to Corrie's own release on December 31st that year. Corrie became a travelling missionary preaching God's forgiveness and reconciliation. She faced a true test of her words when she came face to face with one of her former tormentors in 1971. She narrated the experience in her autobiography, "The Hiding Place".

I remember reading about how she met this man again, her former guard at Ravensbruck, where she had suffered and where her sister, Betsie had died, thin and frail. She related to have sighted his familiar sight by his gray overcoat and visored cap. He did not even remember who she was exactly, but because she mentioned Ravensbruck in her talk, he had felt he owed her an apology. She recalled how the man had stood and confessed to her that he was once a guard at Ravensbruck and that he used to be cruel back then but had repented and since become a Christian. Corrie expressed how she was temporarily transfixed when the man put out his hand and asked for her to say that she had forgiven him, being a guard at the camp where she had suffered. Although he did not recognize Corrie even when he came to stand face to face with her, Corrie remembered him perfectly well. How could she forget the guard who watched her sister and her suffer horribly? She did not want to believe she could forgive him so easily. Corrie fought the battle fiercely in her heart until she finally came to terms with the truth and took the man's outstretched hand. She cried, "I forgive you, brother! With all my heart!"

Well, two pennies for your imaginations, as I read through the story and got to the point where Corrie took the man's hand, I said to myself, _Maybe I can do what Corrie did in a situation like that, but I definitely will not call him "brother", and I most surely will not say, "With all my heart"._ Yeah. I don't know how I would have forgiven that man. But for the Mercies of God upon me, that is just who I would have been. Corrie made it clear that it was not a natural for her, but by the Grace of God, she was able to do what she did. We all know we need to forgive, but the doing is the itch. By the Grace of God, you can afford to forgive anyone, anyone who hurt you.

Meanwhile, forgive yourself too. Don't let your pride get in the way. Cut the whole _I can't believe I was so foolish, I'll never forgive myself for being so careless..._ Enough! Enough now! You have learnt your lesson so stop beating yourself up about it. A newsletter was sent to my mail box some time ago. It was about a missionary family who had been through countless perils on the mission field, and was being miraculously rescued every time. Their home was in the midst of Gospel haters and they had to avoid all the trouble they could. On that evening, the family sat down to dinner, all except the young daughter who wanted something more. I remember this part only dimly now but the young girl wanted some kind of meat to go with her meal, which the father decided to go and get for her. Unfortunately, he went out of the house and never came back, for he ran into the hands of his enemies who had been warning him to stop preaching the Gospel. He was killed.

After the shock and a painful funeral, the young daughter carried the guilt of her father's death and could not imagine that she could forgive herself, for she felt she was the cause of her father's death, and so it seemed, but was she? Something, anything else could have taken her father out of the house that evening, or any other day, the father could have run into the hands of his resistors and got killed. Worse still, they could even have come over to their house, burnt it down and murdered the entire family. Her mother and other believers let her know that it was not her fault, for the deceased was a child of God and it was only time to go home. He died, a hero of the gospel, and it was that simple. It had nothing to do with his daughter, it was just that simple.

When she finally came to understand that the devil will take hold of every situation you give him to try to annul the liberating "No More Condemnation" work of the Lord upon the Cross, she experienced release that was beyond words. She was able to testify at a youth camp and she swore to live and die for the Gospel just like her father did.

Even if you really hurt somebody else, deliberately or not, the question is, if you do not forgive yourself, what then? What does it change? Does it make your mistake any lighter? Does it make you justified and guiltless? No, it doesn't. It in fact makes you commit more sin. You are as precious as that other person that you need to forgive, if you don't forgive yourself, you are still in the act of unforgiveness all the same. Diligently seek the forgiveness of whoever you have hurt, forgive those who hurt you, and continue with life without some stinking bagged potatoes.

In the famous series, _Spiderman,_ Spiderman had put in for a combat game to earn some quick money so he could impress Mary Jane, his crush. He won the contest alright but, back in the office, the game's host refused to give him his prize. After much fruitless argument, Spiderman left the office, hurt. As he was about to leave the building, a man came speeding through and was heading for the exit in a hurry.

"Stop that man! Stop that man!" A voice cried from inside the office.

In a flash, Spiderman realized that the running man was a thief who had just robbed the organization and that the voice shouting from within the office belonged to the host, same cheat who had just refused him his hard-earned prize. Spiderman had all in his power to stop the thief and bring him down but do you know what he did? He clenched his teeth together, stepped aside and let him through. The thief even said "Thanks!" to him in gratitude as he slid away. Little did Peter Parker know that the man whom he let escape from that building in his moments of resentment would be his favorite Uncle Ben's murderer in the evening of that same day. Somebody asked, "If revenge is sweet, why does it leave such a bitter taste?" Parker found out the answer.

Somebody hurt you and it hurts, but you will forgive them, you hurt somebody and it hurts, but you have to forgive yourself. Two wrongs will never make a right, and that resentment of yours may cost somebody else something. You may not be able to imagine how possible that is, but Peter Parker could never have imagined too, that his uncle would lose his life that day and the thief he let escape would be the murderer.

Unforgiveness is first of all a sin, before even being an emotional weight. The devil seeks ways to accuse you before God, perhaps you do not know. It is a dangerous thing to keep a person tied in your heart.

"Do not judge or you too will be judged...' Matthew 7:1

When you decide a person is not worth your forgiveness, you have damned the person in your heart, and that same thing will be done back to you-- by God Himself. See something down here.

"And having said this, He breathed on them and said to them, Receive the Holy Spirit! [Now having received the Holy Spirit; and being led and directed by Him] if you forgive the sins of anyone, they are forgiven; and if you retain the sins of anyone, they are retained." John 20:22-23.

That's some heavy authority. You have got so much power as God's child that if you forgive a person, no matter who they are, God will forgive them, and if you retain a person's sins, so be it, but you will also like to know that while you are trying to drag someone into the mud, you will get dirty too. Question is, is it worth it? Is it worth it to spend eternity in hell, taken far away from the face of God, because you were basking in the fact that somebody owed you one? Jesus could hold you down and make you to pay for the wrongs that you have done too, you know, but He forgave you. Your sins got Him to the Cross and He forgave you still. Don't rub salt in His wounds and don't make Him unable to forgive you by you hating those He has forgiven. Jesus has forgiven them, forgive them too. If it gets tough to release a particular somebody from your heart, know that it is the devil trying to establish the root of bitterness in you. Stop him in his tracks! Go on and ask God for His Grace, and He will help you to forgive, and even forget.

Let it be your _motto_ : I can afford to. Yes, you can, because His Grace is sufficient for you (2Cor 12:9a). Forgive and continue yet, to forgive. Dump the bag(s) and do not, so much so, accumulate another one.

Second bag of potatoes:

Stolen Stuffs

When my mom got married, she still had those things in her store, and she knew she had to return them. While she went through life as a struggling youth, she had met somebody who hurt her a lot and when she was able to get back at him, she took plenty of his merchandise worth a lot of money. Even after being a Christian for years, she still had those things and she often said to me that she needed to get rid of them. She prayed severally about it and asked God for strength. She kept on doing this until the day she woke up in the morning, and knew that those stolen goods will not spend another twenty-four hours in her store. She set the car into motion after church that Sunday and drove to the other part of the country where the owner lived with his family. She returned every single one of those things.

When she came back home, we were delighted. We giggled over how awkward it was approaching somebody you stole from and giving it all back, "I'm now a Christian and I can't keep these anymore."

She showed me through that how well she understood her good fight of faith and was working out her salvation indeed with fear and trembling. I would never forget that. I'm hoping that with this example, I can explain to you how glad you too, as a saved child of God will make Him if you return everything you took unrighteously. If you are looking forward to complete healing, you cannot keep anything you stole.

I don't know what you regard as stolen goods but let's make it clear here. Any item or service which cannot be accounted for as a gift or as something you bought or took rightfully is something stolen. Once you know you are not supposed to have it with you, don't struggle with it. If it's something you can no longer return, pay up for it, or seek the owner's forgiveness.

The Bible says: "Thou shall not steal", Exodus 20:15.

For years, my mom argued in her heart and struggled with the fact. She wanted to believe that those goods, though stolen, were her right, and that it was the least that the man who had hurt her could pay but those things were not worth carrying a grudge over. Come to think of it, there is nothing you steal that is inexhaustible. A man's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he has (Luke 12:15). In a little while, everything will be gone, and even if you steal a fortune's worth, what quality of life do you intend to have with it, here, or at the other side of life when your spirit has no use of the material? Think about the future. Think about the implication of building your life around what is not yours. From a small little penny that you regard as nothing to a huge property or an amount of money, you will account for every single one. You may not be able to return what undue privileges you stole in person, but you can send them back to the rightful owner, with a simple note of apology. How about that? Let love be the only debt you have to pay to anyone (Romans 13:8). Return everything you know you are not supposed to keep. You'll be really glad you did.

The third bag of potatoes:

Some Relationships

More often than not, we allow the wrong people into our lives. Close relationships with the wrong people will only hurt you the more and grossly inhibit your healing, This may be the hardest potato bag to part with but since we are on a clean swipe exercise here, we can't neglect it. Sinful 'friendships' and lies are deadly worms that eat a person's destiny up faster than you can say hello, and you just have to set your priorities right at this point.

I said _some_ relationships and you know what relationships. It may be with someone of the same sex or of the opposite, it may be with a set of people, or with a certain family member. Any close relationship with a person who does not absolutely uphold biblical principles should be cut off completely. If there is anyone there in your life who has the tendency of drawing you back from your faith in God and complicating things for you, there, you have the first person on your "Out of my Way" list. Do not hesitate. It may be hard, I know, but do it. If you have already disengaged from somebody, or a group of ungodly friends, stick to your decision and don't turn back. It may be difficult, but don't compromise. Some people are hard to forget. Some relationships are really tough to let go of, but if you are sincere, God will help you.

A simple advisable method is to focus on why you are breaking off the relationship, and that will carry you on. I'll tell you this story. The other day when I ran into an old friend, he was with another friend, who knew about us, (when there was still an "us"). His friend who was standing beside him looked at me with eyes that said, "You made a bad choice by breaking up with my friend, you know". And the former was staring like he would say, "Why, why???" You can imagine how I felt running into these "important" people.

We exchanged hellos and I stepped out of the scene. What was I feeling? Great? Not quite. As I walked back home, that voice said to me, "You are going to call this guy when you get home, and you are going to tell him that you miss him."

Oh, that was what I would have done some few months ago. I would have felt guilty, stupid and I would have felt like a bad person, the bad person who broke up a "soaring" relationship. I smiled and said to God, "Thank You, Father, because I am not going to call him. I feel so much peace just knowing that I won't call him to tell him that I am sorry for breaking up." I felt God smile back at me. End of discussion!

Was I missing him? You bet! You bet, you bet, you bet! But there was a reason why I broke up. It was either my spiritual growth or this relationship; either my purity in Christ or this relationship. Why did I say that? I could not have my cake and still eat it. That was what drove me on and kept me out of that relationship: my reason, my reason for breaking up.

I don't know what circumstances surround you or any of your relationships, but you can do without anyone who would have you compromise your purity to satisfy her or him. Once they are not encouraging you to be in right standing with God (in all areas), then you should not be with them in an intimate relationship. Be it the wrong guy, the wrong girl, or the wrong set of friends, know that you cannot hold on to them and still please God. They will only drive you into deeper problems as time goes on. It may not seem like it now, but it is only a matter of time, and the thing is, by the time you are ready to turn back, it may be too late. Let the values of God and His laid down rules be your guide. Let the Holy Spirit help you. God's Grace is sufficient to keep you and provide for your needs. Clean up well, and God will help you.

When you are sure you have done your part, you can then boldly trust the Lord to help you through whatever you are going through. You know the funny thing? Despite whatever it is that is happening right now, in another two weeks from now you may be wondering why you were so afraid when it happened. There is no night without its dawn (simple law of nature), but through the night, you have got to be careful what you do, so that the dawn will be worth the wait when it finally comes. What has happened or is happening may be terrible, but you will overcome through Jesus. I loved it when Paul said:

"I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:12-13 (KJV)

You can do this.
CHAPTER 4

YOU WILL BE FINE

" _Though our feelings come and go, God''s love for us doesn't_

C.S. Lewis

Perhaps there are other areas of your life where you need to clean up, please go on and do so.

Let's talk a little more about Ruth. The actions she took during her period of trials are worthy of note, and they are applicable in any form of situation a man may find himself in: a case of a broken marriage, a pregnancy that was unprepared for, problems at school or at work or any other of those life things. I enjoyed reading the Ruth-story in the characteristic easy style of the Message version of the Bible, and I will like us to use that version in this part. Let us examine more closely, the choices Ruth made that are worthy of praise.

She chose to stay true to a friend

"But Ruth said, Don't force me to leave you; don't make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live I'll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I'll die, and that's where I'll be buried, so help me GOD- not even death itself is going to come between us!" Ruth 2:16.

Now what is that? I've seen this kind of love too, only it is really rare. Jonathan and David were another example of such fine knit of hearts. Ruth had made up her mind that not even death was going to keep her from Naomi... _so help her God._

Ruth had a devotional love for her mother-in-law. In actual fact, it would have been just normal for Ruth to do exactly as Naomi had advised, to go back to her own people and continue with life there. Orpah did so, and we are not taking it against her, because it was just the logical thing to do. Ruth stayed, I wonder why. She stayed where it seemed there was absolutely nothing left for her. She chose to stay where hope seemed all dry. Naomi had to remind them that she had no more sons that they could marry and that even if she were to bear sons at that time, they couldn't possibly wait till the sons grew old enough to get married. She had to explain that there was nothing for them if they stayed with her. Orpah reasoned with Naomi, Ruth did not.

What Ruth did is still today one of the most remarkable acts of loyalty in history, so much so that couples have begun to quote her defense speech in toasts..."Where you die I'll die..." Ruth and her mother-in-law had developed a bond through the years, they, in a way, had become friends. After the calamity that befell them as a family, Ruth stayed strong and true to her good friend. This helped Naomi's grief, as well as Ruth's. She stayed close to the only person she knew she could still trust.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labour; For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Listen, it will be good if you, at every point in your life recognize those whom you ought to stick with, because it would make all the difference in the world. You cannot bear the burden of this world alone; you need people (quality people) to be around you. They are the ones that will hold your hand, be your pillar and defend you when you are too weak to carry on. Ruth realized that Naomi needed her as much as she needed Naomi and she did the right thing by not leaving either Naomi or herself to bear the grief on her own. Stay true to a friend who loves God and loves you, a child of God who will be strong for you when you are weak, correct you in love if you put a foot wrong and encourage you when you are discouraged. If you do not have one now, pray for one, and be good yourself.

She chose to be with the true God

"Naomi said, 'Look, your sister-in-law is going back home to live with her own people and gods; go with her." Ruth 1:15

And that was when Ruth gave her legendary reply, "Do not force me..." Through their relationship, Ruth had come to learn about the God of Israel, and she turned entirely to Him when the moment of decision came. You know what, she could have well chosen to keep worshipping her gods like Orpah chose to, but she did not, and this was but the beginning of her historic breakthrough.

What did she do? She served the Lord. He was not yet come in the form of The Son, Jesus then, but she served Him. She served the God of Israel. If you knew Him before, stay true to Him and don't let your Faith slip through because of the situation in which you have found yourself, you are hurt but He knows it all and He is the One to restore you. If you have never really known Him before now, I guess it is time to choose who you will serve.

You have come to the valley of decision,

Calm Salvation calls out your name, Darkness appeals its ugly frame,

The man has come to a road divided,

To whom will he be attracted?

Think, man, think!

Weigh, man, weigh!

Heaven waits to celebrate,

Hell waits to celebrate!

Consider carefully the Way,

Who calls out with passion,

He will never strive with you,

Make your choice, O man, make!

The other side growls and grunts:

You can't just leave!

But indeed this choice is yours,

You will have what you choose,

_Calm Salvation will not strive with you_.

If you don't have a personal knowledge of Christ yet, you are still joking around. In fact, you are not really ready for anything serious yet. Sorry that came out hard but it is true. Without Christ, life is just going to be a matter of fry pan to fire every time. Without Christ, we would finish up one stress and just plunge into another, sometimes having a new stress overlap an old one. Today, you have the opportunity of finding a new life, like Ruth, becoming a new person, a citizen of a better land, and if you don't do it today, only God can say if you will have another opportunity to come to Him. Ruth had only one opportunity presented to her to become an Israelite (by adoption), and she took it up diligently.

So, what will it be? That same God of Israel is still today the true God and will always be the true God. Choose well.

She chose to be courageous.

Ruth was not fearful as was expected. She chose to be bright and strong. Usually, people who find themselves in her shoes grow timid about launching out again, meeting people again and sometimes even develop an ugly low self-esteem. If that describes you, quit it! It happened and it happened. Now, somebody needs to take courage. Ruth was ready to move on. She grieved, yes, she did. She wept and wailed, but she did not let life pass her by. Gleaning in the fields as a young woman in those days had its pros and cons. The woman could be faced with the danger of having one of the young men molest her sexually and if she is unlucky, she may not even find the favor of the harvesters. Ruth worked diligently among complete strangers and when Boaz inquired about her from his workers, the foreman replied,

"...Why, that's the Moabite girl, the one who came with Naomi from the country of Moab. She asked permission, 'let me glean,' she said, 'and gather among the sheaves following after your harvesters.' She's been at it from early morning till now, without so much as a break." Ruth 2:6-7.

The little description was powerful enough to move Boaz into action, he treated her exceptionally well. Sure you'd like to hit some sort of good favor as that, (why not, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride), you will not if you sit there and wish from now till eternity, but you will if you pull yourself together and do what you need. You want to go back to school? Get going, God will supply your needs. You want go to work? You want to take that examination again? Do it! You want to pray about it again? Go on and do just that. As long as it is the right thing, God will make a way for you. Just be courageous.

There are remarkable men and women in our generation who have also been dealt real heavy blows in life and are still standing. A classic example is Abraham Lincoln. How about Sonya Carson, (the mother of Ben Carson whom you know as the best pediatric neurosurgeon today), whose _darling_ husband was unfortunately a married man with another family someplace, and who when Sonya found out, left her and her two boys to face the storms of life all alone? How about my own dear mother who had to see herself through school after she had a baby she was not prepared for? Time would fail me to tell the full stories of these people; I just want you to know that you too can be courageous like Ruth and like the many more faithful Christians around us today.

John 16:33: "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace {and} confidence. In the world you have tribulation {and} trials {and} distress {and} frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

Take heart, be courageous, and with this assurance of God's backing in His Word, launch out again, this time more carefully and more prayerfully.

Ruth did not become a tongue-lashing disrespectful woman. If she had, Naomi would have dumped her real fast and Boaz would not have even thought a minute about her. Nobody wants a troublesome person around, especially not a disrespectful one. Many let go of their character when storms arise. On account of being a rape victim, many lose all connection with chastity and would not hesitate to blame it on their misfortune. Forget it, you are wrong. After losing a marriage, some go haywire and begin to sidetrack commitment. That will only make things worse for you. Some men resolve to alcohol after a hard blow. That will only make things worse for you. I have mentioned a few instances that I can, you know what yours is and you know what you are doing wrong, please stop it, if you really want to get better. Ruth maintained her good character, and displayed it even more, calamity or not. Remember, through Christ, you can do all things (Philippians 4:13).

She chose to marry the right person

It may look odd in the list but I assure you, it is not. After Ruth lost her first husband, she realized she was still quite young and naturally, she wanted to be married again. Interestingly, God had some very special package in store for her. By the way, except on the occasion of infidelity or death, you have no business divorcing your spouse (Matthew 5:32). May the Lord help you with that.

At every stage of the story, we see that Ruth chose to do what was right and as we all know, the right things to do are usually the toughest. From choosing to follow her mother-in-law back to Bethlehem instead of going back to her own people, to choosing to serve the God of Israel, and now choosing to marry Boaz! Realize that all these were choices that she made. If she had chosen otherwise, no one would have blamed her. Listen to what Boaz said:

"...God bless you, my dear daughter! What a splendid expression of love! And when you could have had your pick of any of the young men around..." Ruth 3:10.

Boaz was, according to Jewish tradition a close relative, a next-of-kin who had the power to redeem whatever Elimelech had, including the wives who came into their family, if the widow so wished. Naomi had obviously been waiting for Boaz to say something, but when he was wasting time about talking, she took action.

"One day her mother-in-law Naomi said to Ruth, 'My dear daughter, isn't it about time I arranged a good home for you so you can have a happy life? And isn't Boaz our close relative, the one with whose young women you've been working? Maybe it's time to make our move..." Ruth 3:1.

Since Ruth had come to live with Naomi, the old woman knew that it was sort of her duty to find a home for Ruth to settle in, and she put in her best, but what struck me was the obedience of the younger woman.

"If you say so, I'll do it, just as you have told me." Ruth 3:5.

The choice of whom to marry outweighs every other choice you may have to make in life, after the decision to serve God. Ruth took her counsel from her best friend, who had introduced her to God. She could have chosen to marry somebody else, but she chose to marry Boaz who though rich and pleasant is not your typical example of young, tall and handsome. From the record, it even seemed he was not married before, but the Moabitess chose to marry this man, who felt much honored and put an end to all their troubles. Ruth became a key person in the genealogy of our Lord Jesus Christ Himself; tell me what better describes grass to grace...

If you lost a spouse (I'm so sorry about that) and you are considering choosing again, it is a good thing but be careful. Do what Ruth did: be patient, stay connected to God's own people and listen to their wise counsels...plus all the rules of it, you know, those can make up an entire book.

Finally, the woman Ruth was a woman of virtues.

"...Everybody in town knows what a courageous woman you are- a real prize!" Ruth 3:11.

Did you just hear that? She made herself the right person. We do not exactly know if she was attractive, fat or slim, but we were told what we needed to know: she clothed herself in godly virtues, she was courageous, she was courteous, she was a believer! For boys and girls, men and women out there, here is an example of a world's finest!

You can take time to read the book of Ruth on your own. The Moabite wrote history in red as the great grandmother of David, and ancestor of our Lord Jesus. God indeed is no respecter of persons, even if they have been dealt with rock-hard blows.

I do not expect you to just throw the past behind you and move on like you are a car. If you could do that, it would have been nice, but what I am saying is that you can't spend all of today thinking about yesterday. It is the best to learn from others and avoid learning from personal mistakes as learning from your own mistake is usually too expensive, but if you have made a mistake that could have been easily avoided, stop beating yourself up, learn from it and become thrice shy. No great person today will tell you that they had it all smooth and glorious, so take the challenges you face as blessings and learn. Who hurt you like Amnon hurt Tamar, or like circumstances hurt Ruth? Listen, they meant it for evil, but if you will hear me, I'll tell you that God meant it for all the good in this world.

God's Grace will see you through this, my precious reader.

PART 2

How are you running your day???

If you keep looking into the past, you will keep wasting the precious irredeemable seconds of TODAY.
May the grace of God illuminate your every day, and bless you.

Dena is the girl from West Africa, or not. Dena is the girl from among the beautiful Indians. I know what you are thinking. Dena is the lovely Mexican woman living with her family next door. For all you know, Dena could be the American singer on TV or the sweet French speaking girl who has come to attend college in Ghana. Maybe Dena is even a boy. He is the basketball person the cheerleaders love or he may be the talented drummer from the coasts of Alabama. That's funny. Maybe he's the cool person from Yankee, or the humble church guy from China. How about a cowboy, ever with a cute smile and a sweet song? Okay, I'll tell you who Dena is.

I'm Dena. You're Dena.

Dena is the imperfect boy or girl, in my case a girl that is searching out what this place is, and what the purpose of being here is. Dena has known hurt, but she has got enough strength to understand that happiness is on the menu for her. So Dena will not give up, Dena will be strong. Dena will not be discouraged. She understands that the journey will be tough, but in the end, the reward, she knows, outweigh the sacrifices. She will take the journey, she will be prepared.

Welcome to the amazing world of Dena.

Hello, welcome to your amazing world. If you are the Dena from France, hi, I'm the Dena from Nigeria, and I'm honored to meet you. Have a seat, and here is a drum of tang, let's talk about this: The gift of this present day and what you should do with it.
CHAPTER FIVE

TOMORROW HAS BEGUN

To what shall I compare the beaming rays of the early sun through my window blinds?

No matter how heavily I had ached the night before, these powerful rays will refresh my views, and I'm renewed with hope, hope for a better day, a better day ahead.

Usually, by the time my own natural alarm sounds (my convenient time), it is already past the official wake-up time. The other alarm had sounded about an hour ago and I had just reached over to bang it quiet. I dash out of bed without even saying my prayers and head straight for the bathroom. While I take my less-than-fifteen-minute-bath, I let my mind wander through my wardrobe for the best colors and scarves that will suit the day. I say a prayer in my heart while I get dressed and I think of how my day will be...

Typically, I always plan to have a nice day. I grab my bag and phone with hope... _God help me get that paper signed today..._ Days don't always go as fantasized, but usually, if I plan to have a good day, I have a good day. If I plan to?

Today had started when you began some things yesterday. What I am doing right now will reflect on my tomorrow, meaning my every day is a part my future. There is no other future somewhere waiting for some divine wave to appear, every single day that I live now is the life I've got. If that is so, shall I not let the experiences of yesterday shape up today's actions to make tomorrow even better? Either I permit or not, yesterday will tell on today; so why don't I get yesterday's stuffs working, letting everything I have gone through make me wiser and smarter, so by tomorrow I'll have a testimony? Maybe yesterday, I hurt somebody, today I know better, so I won't do that today. If I had a bad day yesterday and I go drinking today, still feeling bad about yesterday, then, by tomorrow, I'll have a bigger problem to solve.

Days are slippery as fish and you only have one shot at a time. Soon, today becomes yesterday, yesterday becomes last week Thursday, and in no time, it becomes "when I used to be a youth". All activities I engage in with each passing minute come together at the end of my twenty-four-hours to define how my day went.

Today is a gift. With today, we make history of tomorrow. Whatever you've got to do, do it right now because very soon, "now" will become "then", and it's gone forever. Every new day brings fresh understanding and perception with it. What you did yesterday that was such a big secret could next year become the top news of BBC, and you won't really care. Imagine how David tried so desperately to cover up his mistake with Bathsheba. Imagine how he could not sleep all night as he thought about it. Now, imagine the entire world, generations after him talking openly about a secret which once upon a time, David killed to protect.

Make good use of this present day. Take all the time you need to heal, only make sure you are moving forward. Healing is a gradual process, but make sure you are progressing. The days before may have been tough, but now, it's up to you to write the rest of your story. No one knows tomorrow so today is your best bet.

God does not leave people who make mistakes; He leaves people who are unrepentant. I have found myself doing the very thing which I swore to God I would never do again, and all scriptures that I have read and taught would come into my head: "When a righteous man sins, his righteousness will be forgotten...", "If any man backslides, My Soul shall have no pleasure in him...", "Be sober, be vigilant...", but then almost immediately, I would remember the other ones... "My little children, do not sin, but if any man sins, he has an advocate with the Father". God can rescue you too. Jesus has actually forgiven you long ago, when He suffered on the cross. Asking Him to forgive you is necessary but He has forgiven you long ago. Ask Him to take over your life, and seriously let go of what sin you used to indulge in. There is peace on the menu for you.

If I want to have a good day tomorrow, I know that I have to live my present day properly, and tomorrow, I will prepare for the day after. Even then, if things happen that I do not plan, I'll know they did not happen because I was not living right, so I let Jesus cover up my mistakes and errors with His precious Grace.

There are three basic things that you need to be conscious of, as you progress in your healing journey for these three things help sum up the totality of a man's day, and by extension, his life.

1. WHAT YOU THINK TODAY

2. WHAT YOU SAY TODAY

3. WHAT YOU DO TODAY

We'll take a closer look at each of them.
CHAPTER 6

WHAT YOU THINK TODAY

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment

Jim Rohn

If you think this: "I am a clumsy person", then maybe you are. If you think, "I have a terminal disease", then you may end up having it, and if you think, "I'll never make heaven", then you may not.

On the other hand, if you think, "I am not a failure", then you most certainly are not, and if you think, "I will be alright", then you will be, by the grace of God.

The power of thoughts is wonderful, and have been described as "penetrating all time and space". God respects your thoughts. Believing that God exists is faith, and that has got to be a thing of the mind. No matter how far away anyone tries to run from himself, he's still going to have his thoughts with him. The thoughts produced by a man generate high amount of energy, yes; even in the sciences, the thoughts produced by a man have been recognized as hyper-potent. The Silicon Valley Company Nerosky launched a device in 2007 that lets you control a computer game by using your thoughts. Isn't that just amazing?

Proverbs 4:23 says: "Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it

are the issues of life."

In the heart, a man is defeated. Before we see defeat in the physical, it has at one time or the other been concluded in the heart. A successful person is first successful in his thoughts. What are you letting yourself think?

Our hearts are the threshold of everything that comes out of us. Tamper with them, all is tampered with. I was once told, "The most sensitive part of a woman is her heart"...and then that's for all of us, man or woman for if you have the heart of somebody, you have the whole of him. The devil knows about the power of thoughts, and he does not hesitate to use it against those who let him. The potency of thoughts lies in the fact that our thoughts dictate our actions. How a man is thinking will usually determine how he will handle a situation in which he finds himself. That is the reason why we need to be very careful what we let ourselves think. Our thoughts affect what happens to us and how we live.

The power of choice is a gift given to man. He has the ability to choose what he wants and nobody can really force him against his will. So thankfully, we can decide what we let ourselves think about. Your thoughts and the imaginations of your heart will either please the Holy Spirit or grieve him. Thoughts sometimes appear as 'not easy to control', but what comes around your heart is determined by what you expose the windows of your heart to. Let's examine these closely

Your Eyes and Your Ears

As incredible as it may sound, your eyes and your ears are really the windows to your heart. You cannot watch or look at the wrong things and expect your heart to be pure. At the same time, you cannot have your ears plugged into the wrong songs and expect your heart to be pure.

Proverbs 6:27: "Can a man carry fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned?"...Question for you.

Listen, guard your heart. You have got to be mindful of what you read, what you watch, and what you let your ears listen to. Guard your heart, it is your duty.

The heart is the one place where you can do anything you want. In our minds we imagine greatness, in our minds we do all the impossible things of this world, in our minds, we believe this and disbelieve that, in our minds, we can hate, in our minds we love, and before we are able to cry or smile, something gives away in our minds. A poor man can live in a mansion in his mind. A pilot can be a doctor in his mind, little Jenny can be President in her mind. You can travel all the planets of this world without an aircraft. The mind is faster than light. The issues of this life, every situation, every reaction, wisdom, knowledge, choices, and every other life element you can think of are all matters of the mind of a man. That is why you have to guard your heart above everything else. Determine what you let your heart do.

Pornography destroys by first weakening its victim's conscience, and you cannot fight what your mind has lost to. The result is always that you find yourself doing what you should not. Your mind's eyes are smart, they remember what you think you have forgotten, that's why as you read now, if you close your eyes, you can still see this particular page in your mind. You must be very careful what you feed your eyes with, what you let them run over, ranging from movies to books to pictures...

You can't plug your ears into a pair of earphones that are blasting music that fix your mind on parties, sex or past relationships, and expect your thoughts to be clean and free. How will you read the Bible and understand well if as you try to read, you can't stop thinking about something that disgusts God? Any song or sound which does not connect you to God will only move you away from Him, and that is bad for you! I don't need to use facts from Silicon Valley to back up the point that there is no life without God. It makes you _old-school_ , but then it is good to be old school and pleasing to God. The heart on its own could be "naughty", let alone when you get to feed it with the wrong things.

Do what you must to protect your heart. Do anything it takes to filter out wrong sounds. Your mind is the storehouse of what you hear and see. If you are listening to great people, chances are that you will end up like them. If the person whispering in your ears is fine with being a nobody, you may end up just like them. Whoever it is that you are going to be in this world and the next, begin from your thoughts. You have to fight that battle every day.

Sometimes, you find strange thoughts popping out of nowhere. These thoughts just pop over and watch to see what you will do. When the devil does all he possibly can to make you give up and he fails, he has one more trick he may pull. He may begin to present thoughts that you may not really mean. When you find yourself thinking unlikely things such as, "I'm such a foolish person", "I can never amount to anything!" you should be in a hurry to say, "That's a lie, I know that's not true." When you get a bad thought like, "What if I lose the only one person I have left in this world?", "What if I lose my health?" be confident and say, "I know that is not going to happen to me", and do believe it.

Once a man is caught up thinking and ruminating about the wrong things, he is beginning to slip. I have been challenged a lot of times by horrible thoughts, and I have let myself ruminate on a few of them. They never did me any good. I have found myself many times acting on things I had thought about and imagined, the way I imagined them, but now I choose to serve the Lord and my heart has got to agree. Everything that surrounds our happiness and sorrows alike are all functions of the states of our hearts.

We Do Not Lose Heart

"...we do not lose heart..." 2 Corinthians 4:1

Before she finally told me about this one, she had told me a brief story of how she had been challenged in school, a few disappointments here and there, but I told her that that was not the sort of story I was looking for. Everybody has been disappointed at one time or the other in life, but some few people have received heavy blows and are still pressing on, the sort of theirs were the testimonies I was looking for.

This one really hurts. Ana was the first child of a loving sweet mother. They communicate well. She loves her dad, mom and siblings, and then all of a sudden, Mom developed an ear inflammation which continued to worsen till she went totally deaf. If you don't understand, you can read again. All this while, she was young and did not have too much to tell mama, now she's big with a lot to tell Mama, but then, Mama can't hear. I did not realize how painful this was for her, until when I said to her, "God is in control", and she replied quietly, "I hope so". That was just about when I looked at her and got to understand what she was going through. This is one of the happiest girls I have ever known, and she's struggling not to faint about it.

Don't lose heart.

Jesus would usually ask first, "Do you believe I can do this?" If you do not believe it, He could do it anyway, but that tells us something: Jesus cares about the condition of your heart.

As you go through this life and all the situations you find yourself in, you have got to keep a positive mind, and you have to keep a constantly renewed mind. A positive mind is not pessimistic. After a blow in life, you are prone to letting in the likes of doubt, hatred, envy, insecurity and most dangerous of all, pessimism, which once they come, they don't leave until you actively send them out using the Word of God. A pessimist always only sees the closed doors. "I don't believe in pessimism. If something does not come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will," says Clint Eastwood.

Don't just say, I wish I could... Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be, (Clementine Paddleford). Believe you can, and you will find out that you can. You have got to think, "I will make it through, by the Grace of God, I will make it through". Do not lose heart. You can achieve that lofty old dream if you believe you can. If you have a situation at hand right now, don't worry, pray about it and you will be alright. Philippians 4:6-7:

"Do not fret {or} have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance {and} in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God's peace [shall be yours...]".

Whatever it is that you want to do, you must agree with me, you have to start from your mind. It is the easiest thing to think along with circumstances and it is the toughest to think positive regardless of situations. Well, realize that if you do not get your thoughts together now and rise ahead in life, you really may not be pitied, because there are people who have gone through what you are going through and have emerged heroes. Take Joseph for instance, (Genesis 37-50).

A seventeen year old taken out of his father's intensive care unit of life and sold as a slave to someone in a faraway country seems to me like a near-horror movie. Don't mind that. Well, I'd say Joseph's life was pretty much over, what do you think? In a long time of thirteen painful years, Joseph was being moved from one degree of challenge to another. I don't know if Joseph's dream of stars and satellites bowing down to him seemed so cool anymore then. One thing I know though is that in all these, Joseph was not defeated in his mind. How? If he had been defeated in his mind, sleeping with Potiphar's wife wouldn't have been such a big deal. And even in prison, he would not have been magnanimous enough to notice when some fellow inmates were down emotionally, I mean, being down emotionally in prison would have been a normal thing...

The big prime minister must have had his tough days. There must have been days when he looked at his beard, remembered his childhood, and swooned with grief. _Judah must be somewhere making waves by now, Dan and Naphtali too. Benjamin must be a successful farmer,_ but here he was, rotting in prison. He must have had his moments of confusion, anger, loneliness, temptation and fear, but no matter how hard this wonderful youth was pressed, he refused to be crushed. His heart became stronger and stronger as a matter of fact, until God blessed him with an excellent spirit, having tried him, and seen his faithfulness. He was ready to become a leader like no other. Please, that is a sweet way to end a story.

Do not lose heart.

You've got to be disciplined and you have to let the Holy Spirit help you. What you fill your mind with is what you get in return. So, go for the gold.

"Your Word have I laid up in my heart, that I might not sin against You", Psalm 119:11.

Renew your mind everyday with the Word of God.

Everything that has happened, it's okay. You are here today, and that is what is important. Ultimately, you are to keep your thoughts clean so you can fulfill your purpose. Stay upbeat in your mind. Do not believe anyone who says that you are too weak to be excellent. Re-course your thoughts by listening to those who tell you that you can make it and by the daily study of the Scriptures. By these you will help yourself think right.

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is fair, whatever is pure, whatever is acceptable, whatever is commendable, if there is anything of excellence, and if there is anything praiseworthy, keep thinking about these things."

Philippians 4:8.
CHAPTER 7

WHAT YOU SAY TODAY

A word fitly spoken and in due season is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Proverbs 25:11

Having all these thoughts, ideas and feelings all crammed up inside of one with absolutely no means of letting them out is something kind of worse than a prison in the middle of the Dead Sea. Right? No matter what a man is going through in life, one of the most important things is for him to be able to communicate. We all have the need to be able to express ourselves somehow.

Words, written, demonstrated, spoken or let out in any other way are the elements of communication, and what you communicate to somebody may kill you or preserve you.

I'm reminded of the story about the Tower of Babel, (Genesis 11:1-9). Some of the earliest set of human beings decided to come together and build a tower that would touch the heavens, could have been the first skyscraper, you know. Everybody was speaking the same language. It didn't matter that technology was at a low stage of advancement, the Bible recorded that God saw that they were unstoppable, because they spoke as one. Now, there was unity, and that unity was fostered by one thing: the fact that they could all speak and understand one another. God knew what to do. He did not have to turn them against one another in violence or do any of that, all He did was to divide their languages. He-he, some people started to speak native Spanish, some Hindu, some Greek and some Latin. They could no longer communicate with one another as one group, so the project stopped. If it were possible that they foster unity despite their communication barrier, they would have, but they could not. Thank God for our own days, with our many other means of communication, and official languages.

Behold the importance of words; in any form that they come, we cannot do without them. They are important, they are in everything. So what kind of words do you speak, and why? People will remember your words and as a matter of fact, they'll quote you. What are the things you say about yourself and about others?

Words have always carried power in them, and will always do. We use this scripture and that scripture, the world was made by the spoken word, the Law is the written Word and everything centers on words, this is why words are powerful. Let me rephrase that. Words are powerful because everything centers on them. Something somebody says today may cause somebody to think about something, and eventually act about something. You can always trace an event to something said sometime ago. The windows of the heart, the eyes and the ears, are both affected by the words they come across. Words, written or spoken will continue to have effect, and once said, cannot be unsaid. Thoughts are hidden and words are used to reveal them. When you have a dream that you have been thinking about, the day you begin talking about it, you give that dream a whole new level of force. Words are used to express anger, grief, joy, contentment, and every other feeling possible. A word spoken today thrusts forward into tomorrow and affects it somehow. The tongue, though small, is fierce and forceful. Time in, time out, the world has been affected by proverbs, quotes, speeches and books of men and women who know how to align the right words in the right order. By word of mouth, this world was made, and by the written code of words, it will be brought down when the time comes. Words also, express a man's thoughts and what his thinking resembles. Words happen to carry that power and force like hail stones, and they can kill the bravest king, after all, the pen is mightier than the sword.

The use of words has so many dimensions to it but let's take a summary of those rules in two phases. Use words:

...CAREFULLY

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]." Proverbs 18:21.

Over your tongue lies the power to deliver, to set free, to destroy and to rip. I encourage you to engage that power well in the place of prayer and in your everyday talk about yourself and about other people. Be bold, but be careful. Words change things. David was going to wipe out the entire household of a man called Nabal once, but all it took for a change of plans were the right words of Abigail. Words change things.

Words have the ability to defile your heart because as you speak them, you hear them too, and don't forget that your ears are windows to your heart, besides that, they actually proceed from your heart. Before you speak, first try to listen to yourself; see how your words may affect your listener. Would they minister grace unto them? Will they affect them positively? I'll tell you, you speak better when you avoid some words, and if you don't know the meaning of a word, you better don't use it, so you don't find out only later that the meaning negates everything that you live for. The question is what are the words that you let out of your mouth? What do you use your words for? When a word is sent out, it has to be useful somehow. If you are bad at speaking, you will suffer for it. What kind of words do you use? I keep on asking you! Do you filter your words before you speak? Typically, when you turn over your life to Jesus, there are some words you should find real hard to use, but then again, there are some words that you must deliberately decide you will not use. That choice is up to you. Your words are either going to make things better or make things worse. God is concerned with the kind of words His children use. Do you care about honoring God with your words? If you are concerned about destiny, and you wish to please God, then you better do.

...SPARINGLY

Sometime ago, God took me on an amazing exercise with my always-wagging tongue. I had desperately prayed that God should help me control my tongue, to talk only when I needed to, and to say only the truth even then. He was listening. God began to teach me to keep close track of every word I say each day by counting the words that I say. Yeah, He meant counting literarily, like one, two, three, four... At first, it seemed unimaginable to think that it was possible. Sometimes I want to talk fast and rough at somebody I'm really angry with, or chatter away excitedly about something that just happened, or say "Hello, how do you do?" to some guy that's taking away all my breath, but how are you supposed to know how many words you use in that sort of conversation? I told God, "At this rate, You are going to make my life very boring." But guess what, I found out that I could actually count them. I had daily targets, like only fifty words _today_ , or seventy words _today_ , and from the minute I woke up, I would begin to strive to not exceed it. I began to learn how to use actions in place of words. I learned firsthand how useless many of the words we say are. Careless comments, murmurs and all such fill most of the statements that we make daily and if you try out this exercise, you will be surprised at what you find out. By the time I was let off that strenuous exercise, I had realized that we do not need to use so many words before we make sense, and the good thing is that I never recovered from it.

"Even a fool will be regarded as wise if he keeps quiet and does not speak", Proverbs 17:28.

Story time: Simple Yes Or No

I watched an interesting movie about a group of detectives who were on this murder case involving a woman named Claire. The officer in charge of the case was asking a relevant question at some point, and it was very simple too.

"Is Claire dead or alive?"

It was a simple question, demanding only a simple answer, at least, that's what I thought, but his colleagues seemed to be a little too sophisticated and they were babbling around the answer. They did not say, "We don't know", nor were they saying yes or no. It sounded fishy, and it got on the nerves of their leader real fast.

"Aaalright!" He yelled. "Am I asking a hard question? Alright, I'll speak slowly so those of you with PhD's in the room can understand." He picked up a chair and walked to the computer system. "Here's a monitor, right?" Bang! He broke the chair on the monitor. "Now, the monitor is broken, it's dead! It's not temporarily transitioned into another state of entropy, it's dead! Right? Now, is she alive or is she dead?"

What does the Bible have to say about too many words?

"Let your Yes be simply Yes, and your No be simply No; anything more than that comes from the evil one", Matthew 5: 37.

It's written for us in black and white. Spare the other words. Don't swear or curse. Words are sacred and we will give account of every idle one.

Doing this may get difficult, so then you have to everyday pray that God takes over your tongue. In a multitude of words, sin is not absent (Proverbs 10:19), and this is another reason why we ought to use as few words as possible. When you get on with some friend, you may find yourself talking for hours and then realize at the end of the day that most of the things you said were false. The tongue rolls off and enjoys it. People have, by needless words of mouth destroyed their own destinies, and some others have, by the words they spoke fulfilled destiny. If you don't need to talk, don't talk, keep quiet. In the art of writing, when you are editing and fine-tuning your write up, you find that you may need to let go of some lines that you initially thought were hits, you may need to erase some of those words that you _liked_ , just to keep the whole thing simple. You are advised to use as few words as possible, so every word can count. In reality anyway, less is actually more.

Lies and Deceit

Perhaps, one of the most easily besetting sins for a great percentage of people is lying. It seems convenient to bend the truth one way or the other, or to even tell outright lies. If you flip to Proverbs 6:16-19, you will find out that there are seven things that the Lord hates and two of them are:

"...a lying tongue,...a false witness who breathes out lies [even under oath]..."

If you come across a liar who is not willing to change, or who does not see anything wrong with lying and tries to justify himself, I admonish you to have nothing to do with them, or they will teach you soon how to tell lies. Lying is an abomination to the Lord, and by the grace of God given to us, we should not lie. When a statement is not absolutely true, don't sweat it, it is a lie. The devil himself is the father of lies, and it is only scary to learn that they who tell lies are of the devil himself; John 8:44:

"You are of your father, the devil, and it is your will to practice the lust and gratify the desires which are characteristic of your father..."

You have not seen anything yet, look down below:

"When he speaks a falsehood, he speaks what is natural to him, for he is a liar [himself] and the father of lies and of all that is false."

Watch out so the devil does not adopt you while you are not watching. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the life, let him help you so you do not indulge in the abominable things the Lord has warned us about.

My close friends have this important quality: they are people of their words. If they say they will be somewhere at a certain time, they will, otherwise they will call early enough to apologize if they won't; otherwise we will not have stayed as friends. Be a man of your words. Don't say, I'll do this, when you won't. If you have given your word for somebody and then you find out you cannot meet up, be nice enough to call and apologize, for he is no man at all who is without word. Jesus left His Word for us, and we hold on to His Words because we know He is a man of His Word (a man, as it were), and that is why we have the courage to quote the Scriptures and believe them, knowing that our God cannot not lie. Come to think of this, God honors His Word more than He honors His Name, which explains how important words are to God. He cares about your words too, as His child; you have authority, including the one of your tongue. You fight the warfare with the Word, the Word is the Sword of the Spirit spoken about in the book of Ephesians, chapter 6. From now on, I'll be more careful of the things I say. What about you?

Say the truth, only and always.
CHAPTER 8

WHAT YOU DO TODAY

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

Abraham Lincoln

"Do you take this man as your husband, in sickness and in pain, for richer, for poorer, in bla bla, for bla bla?"

"I do."

The priest takes up the ring slowly, "Are you sure?"

I'm the honorable priest and you are the one standing before me with plenty of butterflies in your stomach. You are the one getting married so I'm asking you for the last time if you are sure of the vows you are about to take because after saying them, your life will not remain the same, Amen? Whatever you do right now will affect the rest of your life, so think well.

You will reason easily with that one because it's about marriage. Marriage is heavy enough, but what about those issues that seem entirely trivial and ordinary? What about things like, "I'll use the shopping mall down the road and not the other one across town", "I'll see Penny today and not tomorrow", "I'll take the red car and not the white one"...? Every single step you take in life, I mean every one single step, you move closer to or farther away from your goal. Our every day's smallest actions and choices affect our lives in ways that we do not even know. Everything that you do today will come around in the future. What you let your fingers curl around and where you let your feet go, are all things you have to note, they are part of your deeds. Let's talk about Esau, I think I can fry his bacon better. See story in Genesis 25: 29-34.

While the pastor makes the closing announcements, I have my mind on the pack of sandwich in the fridge. That's not right, I know, but I probably took after somebody, that would be Esau. I used to be just like him when it came to food.

Esau had done a hard day's job, was worn out, tired and hungry. All sense of judgment and rationale had left him. Remember the story of the two women in the days of Elisha who came together during the Samarian famine to cook their babies in turn for food? Oh, bleh, but that's what hunger can do to a man. Esau was very hungry that day and unfortunately for him, gentle, home-loving Jacob was just adding finishing touches to a delicacy of fried rice and grilled turkey, actually, it was a delicacy of red lentil stew.

_Mmmmmm_ , red; means something.

Where I come from, if you cook a meal that was meant to have a red outlook and it ends up looking flat or unattractive, we assume that the cook either did not have enough of the required ingredients, or was just plain clueless. "Red" in there signified something well-cooked, saturated with spice, and definitely attractive, such as can be used to hook in a convalescent who is refusing food. By the time Esau came in, he was in his most vulnerable state and that thing was at its reddest and hottest. He was set up by the devil.

Have you ever been that hungry before? I have. Only a few months ago, while we were still working on this book, the book crew ended a meeting late in the evening after we had fasted all day. When I got up on my feet from where I laid to pray, I found out I was so hungry that I thought I was going to collapse. My eyes began to turn around, you should get the picture. I stayed macho though, till everyone said their goodbyes, then I started my journey back to my room. No taxi was pulling over when I so needed one the most and I almost crawled on all fours. Thankfully, God had prepared somebody for me in a certain taxi, to tell the taxi driver to pull over for me at a very unusual spot, and yet not bill me. God had to rescue me; I was certainly near death, (that was the feeling). I was not new to fasting and was embarrassed by myself, but I believe that that day, God wanted to caution me so I don't go ranting off carelessly about Esau. When I returned to my hostel, I fell onto my bed and began to eat everything I could grab, which was not even much. In one moment there, I heard God say, "If you had to give over your birthright at this minute to get some food from somebody so you don't die, would you?" What was my answer? That's private.

Now, let me say something carefully, without judging Esau. I'm sure that there was some other food somewhere in the house that Esau could have chosen to eat that day, maybe not as fine as the one Jacob had cooked, maybe some fruits or maybe food not even as healthy as required, maybe something even very little, but there must have been something. When I got back to my room that day too, feeling close to death, it felt like there was no food anywhere else in the entire world other that whatever I was seeing at that time and if anyone had offered me some food then, it would have been presented as my only life-saver. Do you understand? Hunger is dangerous; don't think it was light for Esau. The devil tempted Jesus too, pretty much in the same way.

"And He went without food for forty days and forty nights and later He was hungry. And the tempter came to him and said, If You are God's Son, command these stones to be made [loaves of bread]." Matthew 4:2-3.

Why? Because he knew that Jesus was hungry. What was the difference between Jesus and Esau? As God continued to teach me that day, I began to understand that the problem of Esau was not really his hunger. The problem was that he had no idea what his birthright was. If he did, he could have mustered even his very last strength to give Jacob a slap on the cheek for being so ridiculous. Jesus was able to hit the tempter in the face, not just because He was God, but because he had sound knowledge of His position as Firstborn. He answered,

"...It has been written, Man shall not live and be upheld and sustained by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God." Verse 4.

Jacob had been in a power-struggle with his twin brother since before their births and now he was asking for Esau's birthright like you would ask for candy. It's only too bad that Esau was more ridiculous than Jacob was. He, in a moment of weakness, traded his future over some pottage. If he had known what he was about to do, he would have been open to divine strength needed to resist the devil, just like our Saviour Jesus was. The problem with Esau did not begin in one day, he had never before that time understood what his birthright was, never discovered what grace he carried, so it was easy to trade it off, forget the excuse that he was hungry.

Pity Esau, but don't fall into the same trap as you go about your day. The devil is still very much in the business of fooling people with bowls of red lentils. They only don't always come in the form of dished recipes anymore, they are now well upgraded: one bottle of drink, a handful of drugs, a little ten-minute sex thrill, or a tiny adjustment of the account statements. The whole thing is all the same. Every time we let ourselves get into something wrong with our eyes wide open, we toy with the sacredness of our priesthood in Christ.

"It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to desire strong drink." Proverbs 31:4.

Paul says something powerful too,

"All things are lawful unto me, but not all things are expedient; all things are lawful unto me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Meat for the belly and the belly for the meats, but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body." Romans 6:12-13 (KJV)

If you are challenged, I am too. I am challenged to be careful, to be really careful. Everyday pray, that the good Lord will guide your way. No man knows what taking the blue car instead of the green car will come to mean for him; we can only commit our ways unto the Lord, and believe Him to make good His promise:

"In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:6.

Give your ways to Jesus Christ, so you don't end up losing out, for either we take it or not, every man will receive the reward for what he does in the body. As you look unto God to help you through life's challenges, be careful what you do every passing day.

Thou Shall Not Get Caught?

If you believe in the so called eleventh commandment, get ready, I'm about to cut your seat from below you.

For you, destiny-man, it's not about getting caught by the police, or by Mom and Dad, or by the school authority. It's about getting caught by God and every single time you do something wrong, you get caught. I think I just gave you the biggest piece of my mind about this. Jesus says I should tell you that He has His eyes on you, and He doesn't ever take them off. Tomorrow hangs upon the things you get yourself into today, remember that.
PART 3

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour,

whatever he does, whoever he is

C

LOOKING

AHEAD...

_.S. Lewis_
I would have loved to encourage Ben Carson on his way to Med School (Have I mentioned the Carsons once?), I would have loved to tell him, "No, you are not a dullard!", "Yes, you can be a doctor!", "No, you must not nurse the spirit of anger!"...and so much that I would have loved to say to he, who only then was a boy from Detroit.

Today, I'm encouraging you, on your way to greatness. It doesn't matter where this part of the book has found you; it is not all about where you are coming from, it is about where you are going. It doesn't matter if you are thirty-nine or fifteen, you can be who God wants you to be, no matter what may have been in the past.
CHAPTER 9

GRACE'S MESSAGE

Those in glass house do not throw stones.

Grace is sufficient to keep us. Although we face hurts and uncertainties in the world, God has made provision for us, for even the darkest of times. There is grace available to carry us through anything: the Christian race, trials of life, blows, hurts, even our mistakes.

To define the wonder-word, Grace, I'll like us to see a Scripture:

Romans 5:15: "But God's free gift is not at all to be compared to the trespass [His grace is out of all proportion to the fall of man]. For if many died through one man's falling away (his lapse, his offense), much more profusely did God's grace and the free gift [that comes] through the undeserved favor of the one Man Jesus Christ abound and overflow to and for [the benefit of] many."

Let's jump to verse 20.

"So that [just] as sin has reigned in death, [so] grace (His unearned and undeserved favor) might reign also through righteousness...

According to the Scriptures, grace is the unmerited favor of God. We cannot have a better definition. The new question now is what is favor? If you look in a dictionary, you will see favor represented by words such as preference, goodwill, the enjoyment of an uncommon benefit and so on, which mind you, is FREE.

If you add up the long talk, you would now understand that grace, the unmerited favor of God is lovely and oh my, it is as crucial as the air you breathe, it is in fact, the silver coatings of the gift of salvation.

There is one thing that keeps a man, no matter how fierce life gets. There is something beyond the ordinary that God has released to keep a man- God's grace that never fails. Who can condemn he who the Lord has justified? (Romans 8:33) When the grace of God liberates a person and calls him innocent, who will declare that person guilty?

Nobody is worthy of being anything good that they are, but the minute we become Christians (and even before), something gets to cover for our lapses, giving us good lives in the midst of our slacks, keeping us from dropping dead as consequences of our sins, protecting us from the judgments that we deserved, and that is the grace of God. If you recognize what God's grace means for you, you will rise up every day, go out and come in, and you will have joy. The message of grace to a rotting world is the theme of the Cross.

I love the sound of grace. I know then that I do not have to worry, everything will be alright. No matter what comes along, I will overcome every challenge by the grace of God. God's grace will keep me from doing that which I should not, and His grace will keep me if I fall. Grace is God's gift that helps us finish well, even though we were not perfect. Tell you what; don't be afraid, you have something the devil is scared of: God's grace. It is one thing he cannot compete with or even understand. Not to be bought or won, we all have received from the bountiful grace of God. God's grace cannot be questioned, it doesn't play _fair_ , you don't get qualified, you don't become deserving, you only receive.

Grace is not meant to be an outlet for excuses or carelessness. You had shackles and have been loosed by the Blood of Jesus, you had trials and have been given power to overcome them, you had bad falls but have been helped up again by the Lord of grace Himself, you have also been given grace and are begged not to take it for granted, ever. You are blessed but also called to responsibility, you are crowned but also required to be wise, you live in a glass house and you are implored not to throw stones. When you become a child of God and begin to walk in His ways, you also become entitled to His grace, but if you take His love for you for granted, you will have Him to answer to. Colossians 2:23 says clearly that we are not called to a life of bondage or a life of don't touch, don't taste, don't look, don't, don't, don't..., but we are also called to a life of responsibility. The unmerited favor of God is available for all who obey Him, but you must be responsible as a child of God, as the consequences of taking grace for granted can be really grave. Hebrews 10:31, "It is a fearful (formidable and terrible) thing to incur the divine penalties and be cast into the hands of the living God!"

UNGRACED?

Perhaps you have read all that above and feel, _Yeah, Miriam, it is good to think that way, but maybe it's not for me, my life is a far cry from grace at this moment, not everyone has grace extended to him"_ , well, the fact that you are even reading this is an evidence of His grace working in your life. You have not been able to stay alive (physically or spiritually) by your own power. You can slice that any way you want but it is the truth. Now, everyone has a right to the place called The Throne of Grace, but it is only too bad that not everyone employs this great privilege.

"Let us then fearlessly {and} confidently {and} boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God's unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it]." Hebrews 4:16.

Paul's opening words in that verse _(Let us then...)_ shows that we must first put some things in perspective, before we can _then_ _boldly draw near_. The people that have satisfied the conditions he stated by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit are those who can draw near to claim up what is truly theirs in Christ. Let's see three important facts about His grace.

The High Priest is not unsympathetic

"For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand {and} sympathize {and} have a shared feeling with our weaknesses {and} infirmities {and} liabilities to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning." Hebrews 4:15.

Jesus, our Lord has perfect understanding of every sort of situation a man may find himself in. Don't forget that He was tempted in the wilderness and out of it, He was tempted by the devil through the Pharisees on different occasions, He had a swarm of women around Him and could as well had begun to take advantage of them, He was opposed on several occasions till He was finally made to die a shameful death on the cross, and many more awful situations that He endured. He is not a Priest that is out of touch with our reality, He understands everything. To draw near, you must believe this. You must accept the truth that Jesus knows about all you may be going through, you must have the understanding that He learned of our plight willingly, and now He has the more reason to extend His grace to us.

Faithlessness can hinder you

"...but the message they heard did not benefit them, because it was not mixed with faith (with the leaning of the entire personality on God in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness) by those who heard it..." Hebrews 4:2.

Paul continued to talk in this chapter about how the Israelites of old could not receive their rest at the intended time because they did not believe. These old Jews spent forty years on an eleven-day journey, can you imagine that? (Deuteronomy 1:2) God hates faithlessness and He spoke against it severally:

Romans 14:23: "...For whatever does not originate and proceed from faith is sin."

Hebrews 11:6: "But without faith it is impossible to please Him and be satisfactory to Him..."

If you do not believe, you may end up falling short of grace. You may feel that God has been extra cruel to you, you may feel that you don't deserve to be in the situation you are in, but do not let that turn you out of Faith. Listen; do not let that make you to begin to be a die-hard analyzer, ever doubting and rationalizing. If you do not believe that grace is available for you, it may as well be all you ever know about grace. Only the believers (those who believe in His Being) are qualified to _draw near._

Disobedience can hinder you

"Let us therefore be zealous {and} strive diligently to enter that rest [of God, to know and experience it for ourselves], that no one may fall {or} perish by the same kind of unbelief {and} disobedience [into which those in the wilderness fell]. Hebrews 4:11.

Every form of disobedience to God is sin. We have all sinned and are all sinners, right, but that has to do with what the real definition of a sinner means.

"No one born (begotten) of God [deliberately, knowingly and habitually] practices sin, for God's nature abides in him..." 1 John 3:9

We have all sinned, but those who have repented have been forgiven, and being born of God CANNOT sin anymore. This means no one born of God sins: deliberately, knowingly or habitually disobeys the Law. You may make mistakes, but because you are born of God, you will retrace your steps very quickly and repent. You did not do it intentionally, and you are not in it habitually. A sinner, someone who deliberately and unrepentantly engages in grieving the Holy Spirit cannot draw near.

By God's most holy devotion to our well-being, He has permitted us to receive of His grace one way or the other. Our works do not entitle us for grace, "...for it is not of he that willeth nor of he that runneth..." (Romans 9:16 KJV). Still, you should do your part, to obey and to believe, so that in your time of need, you will be able to approach that Throne, where you can find grace and help in good time as He promised.

So, if you are feeling _ungraced_ , maybe what you need do is stand in front of a mirror: Are you a believer? Have you first accepted His offer of grace through salvation? Do you acknowledge that Jesus knows what you are going through? Have you been truly born of God? Are you deliberately engaging in sin? Check yourself; you may be the one holding yourself back from being able to approach the Throne of grace. If you realize that you have only been ignorant, it is time for you to get up and boldly knock on the door of the Throne Room. God's grace is available for all His children at all times.
CHAPTER 10

SUCCESS AND PRINCIPLES

If you want something, go for it...

" _Never, ever, underestimate the power of 'I'd like that' "_

John Mayer

God is very much interested in seeing you succeed, I know you are too, and you will if you so move in the right direction, but I think we need to clear our minds first about something: the meaning of success.

The world's definition is a disaster, so don't even think about it. The world talks about wealth, influence and affluence as the indicators of a successful person. If you have _dollar bills_ to fling around, you are getting there. It is good to be famous and privileged, why, I'd love to be famous, but good success is even far more than that. Success, according to God's definition is the fulfillment of your destiny. No more, no less.

God has expectations of us. It is His will that we do well in life, that we attain our goals and be glorified in Him, but the limitation of man, generation in and generation out, is that we fail to discover what God has in His plan for us. Least often do we stop to ask the infamous question, what am I doing on earth?

A dear friend said one day that being successful in school is not the attainment of our overall purpose, but academic success is a means to achieving our purpose in life; being rich does not signify the attainment of purpose, but it can be useful in achievement of purpose. She defined every material thing and temporary things of life as means to her true end. Beloved, God-given purpose is larger than wealth, deeper that fame, or position, or even privilege. Purpose is destiny; the reason why God sent you here, and believe me, it is never about amassing wealth or building the best of mansions; it is deeper than that, and the achievement of you God-given purpose is good success.

I love to tell people about why I love destiny. Destiny, which can also be called Assignment, or defined as the divinely pre-arranged destination of a man is simple, straight forward and unique. Once you discover your destiny, things become easier for you, life becomes better, you now know where you are going and why things that are happening to you are. In the Faith, as you may have come across the teaching, destiny is divided into two broad arms: The general destiny of man, and the specific destiny of a man.

Generally, we are called to do good works, but what you are specifically made for, that has to be found out by you. Whatever your specific assignment is, it must be well founded on the Word of God; otherwise, it will be an error from the devil. Beware, so that you do not fall into his snare, for he tries always to present the counterfeit of God's plan, and I assure you, he is skilled at forging the original. If you refuse to accept ANYTHING that has questionable motives, you are well on track.

To discover your specific purpose, you should ask from God, draw to the Throne of Grace, and He will make it clear to you, though in bits and strata, but you will gain better and clearer understanding of it as you commit yourself to Him day by day and fix your heart on obeying Him. God loves us and He places His desires in our hearts when we yield to Him. So, remember, riches are good, privilege is nice, but the achievement of God's divine will is good success.

DARE TO DREAM

While you are at it, you will be required to set goals, to dream, and to desire. Saying, _I will be the president of this country_ or _I will become a lawyer or this or that_ is not bad, as long as you have it all well knitted in the destiny God has given to you and your motives are to please Him.

"...we pray for God's power to help you do all the good things that you hope to do and that your faith makes you want to do..." 2 Thessalonians 1:11.

See that? God is absolutely in support of your plans and goals, as long as they are rooted in faith, so do not be afraid to dream. Beloved, I encourage you to dream, desire grand things, for desire is a gift from God, a powerful emotion that is needed in your race, don't be afraid to decide you want to be an achiever, only remember that your true success is in whether you are in right standing with God or not. My point is, if God has given you a desire in His Will, track it down. Dreams are good. Joseph had a dream (he had it first while sleeping but on waking up, it still motivated him), Elisha had a dream to become Elijah's successor, Esther dreamed of becoming a queen when it dawned on her that she could be, Nehemiah dreamed of rebuilding God's temple, Zaccheus dreamed of meeting with Jesus, Jesus had a dream: to save the world from their sins. I tell you, dreams are good.

If dreams are good, then there will be a resistance from the popular bad guy, yes, the devil, the father of lies will try to stop you. Achieving your God-given desires means you are fulfilling destiny, which is exactly what he doesn't want. He opposes everything good. There are a few tips I have learnt, that have been of great help in tracking down my God-given visions and dreams, and they could help you too. There are only quite a number of them.

  1. WATCH OVER YOUR DREAM

... or it will die...

When you step out of your shell and maybe find yourself getting bruised, rough-handled and cheated, by the time you get it tough from a person or two and get stones of disappointment hurled at you real fast, you may want to forget that vision. Man, you may want to throw that dream in a dustbin far away from where you live, and that is how the devil wants it to be. It is tough job watching and keeping your dreams alive, but once your vision is solidly locked in your heart, you have a half-won battle already. If you have a vision, and you know it is what God wants you to do, you've got to keep your eyes on it. Don't change it when you have a challenge, because that's what you are most likely to do. There are at least two ways to do this:

Don't inform the wrong people.

In fact, share it with only one or two carefully selected persons at the early stage, for when it is still tender and fresh, it is at a very crucial condition- most easy to be killed.

It is important that you are bold enough to talk about your dreams, but you may have it killed, no matter how great or full of life it is, when you tell the very wrong people. _You? A doctor?_ They'll scoff... _How in the world do you think someone like you will ever make it through the medical school?_ They'll laugh you to scorn. And as if that is not enough, some people may actively begin to work against it with all they have. Try Joseph's brothers for size. Even if you eventually make it, they will have made your journey longer and tougher. There are already enough mountains to scale over on your way, you will only do well to not add more that could have been easily avoided. It's up to you to ask God to lead you to tell only the right people, if you need to tell at all. The easiest way to get your dream killed is to tell it to the wrong person, to somebody who does not see anything good in you or to somebody who sees you as a threat. You may hear them ask you to dream within your means and stop being immature, or to face your studies and stop being childish. It is true that you cannot do this alone, you cannot achieve it all by yourself, nobody ever did, and nobody ever will; so we all need people, including even those people who think you are nobody, you need them to push you so you don't get too comfortable with too little, but be careful still about those you confide in. When God gives you a dream, He will send those who will help you if you let them, but simultaneously, the devil too will send those who can discourage you if you let them. As informing the wrong people can kill your precious dream, informing the right people can give it good momentum, because these people will pray for you and support you. Somewhere along the line, even if your dream does not seem so super to you anymore, they will believe in God for you, and they will keep asking you how it's going. Patiently ask God to lead you to the right people to talk to and ask God to help you resist the scorn of mockers as you go along.

Repeat it to yourself.

I have had a lot of fun writing this book. There were some chapters I cried and the tears dropped on my jotter. Some pages got me giggling, and there were some that got me thinking. As I write this, I'm just glad, seeing I'm about to achieve a long awaited dream; but when I started, it was not so cool. At a point, I was not really sure what I was doing anymore. I was wondering if anyone would ever read this. For a while, I was getting confused, and through those times, I stopped writing and started praying. When God finally made His vision for me clear, I wrote it down very carefully in more than one place, and I repeated it to myself every day until I had it inscribed in my memory. I had something like this:

"I'm writing to Joseph on his way to Egypt's throne"

To make it clearer to myself, I wrote:

"I'm not writing to the youth who has everything going for him and is just too lazy to get out there."

Personally, I did not start sharing anything about this book with anyone until I knew exactly what God wanted and had it written down. This saved me a whole lot of trouble from people who felt they could re-programme my ideas and _help_ me write about something 'better'. I had already got my direction clear and was repeating it to myself in speech and in writing. If anyone did not click with it, there was nothing I could do about it. It was either you got it or you didn't. If I wrote any statement that was getting me to digress from my mission, I crossed it over with my ink. God had given me a focus; I had known it, mastered it and was following it.

Repeat your vision to yourself, say it, confess it to yourself and you will be able to remember it. Say it continuously, say it and imagine it till it makes plenty sense, write and rewrite it till you get it right. Resound it until it is reverberating with your heartbeat, so that when storms arise, when somebody questions it, mocks it or it begins to seem impossible, even if you cry for a moment there, you will not throw your dream in with the passing storm.

  2. GET YOUR MUSCLES TOGETHER

My mother and I needed to go to a very busy part of town one day, but on getting there could not get a parking space, so she decided we use the other motor park close downtown. The problem was that the public motor park was not exactly public, only recognized users had access and we were not recognized users. My mom drove in defiantly; she, as far as she was concerned, was not in a public park, with emphasis on _public._ I told her that she was very brave, not fearing the thugs that could come over to harass us. Well, nobody came to harass us at all. I observed the environment. Those _thugs_ were on my mind. As we walked past one of their spots, I wondered to myself, would any of these people ever read my book? Would they even ever be close enough to know that somebody carries them around in her thoughts all day? I did not get my answers, but their rough life became a part of my thinking; the youth living a hard life.

My mom's slippers came loose and we were directed to the downtown cobbler. His small work-table was all he had, and a bench on which sat his friends and co-workers. He was not as young as the others, he was much older. One of those sitting on the bench stood up and asked my mom to take his seat. She declined, saying she had been sitting all day. I enjoyed watching these people live their lives. Not the thugs. I'm talking about the traders, drivers and the lawful workers. They did not have enviable jobs, but they were living through and as incredible as it may sound, one of them was probably a Joseph, working his way to Egypt.

Sometimes when I sit by Mom in the car and we drive past slowly, a youth who has been sun-beaten and tired may turn to admire the car and its occupants. I would quickly lower my gaze, I'm not interested in making him feel inferior, I want him or her to know I care. Once in a while I do not lower my eyes, and I make eye contact. I maintain it strongly; I want him, her to know that I care. A part of town was blocked today because there was a political struggle going on in the state. I'm waiting for a leader that God will raise for our land, a godly intelligent person, and it may be the _outcas_ t reading this.

As I write, a Ballard filters into my ears from the TV:

Every rose has its thorn

Just like every night has its dawn...

And the actor is saying, "Maybe this is the rags part of my rags-to-riches story". You know that movie? An adventurous young bunny had left home because he wanted to be a drummer while his father wanted him to take over the running of the family's chocolate factory, and now that he has run away to get his dreams fulfilled, he had to realize that it was not going to be as easy as he thought.

You may not get to find things so easy. You will need to work, real hard. I encourage you to work, work, scratch, run, fight, and just achieve that dream to God's glory.

"Seest thou a man diligent in his business, he shall stand before kings, he shall not stand before mean men." Proverbs 22:29 (KJV)

The Contemporary English Version says it this way,

"If you do your job well, you will work for a ruler and never be a slave."

Sometimes you wonder why somebody who does not know the Lord at all plants and gets good harvest, it is simply the law of sowing and reaping. You reap what you sow. If you sow sparingly and work lazily, it will reflect on your harvest, God does not do magic. This law applies to all. When God blesses you, your reward will outweigh the work you put in, but either way, you just must have worked.

Your dream will remain a dream, flowing and flourishing in the land of stars, flowers and meadows, until you get your fingers picking things up in the real world, and get your skeleton to business. I'm asking you to work towards the vision you have, and work stubbornly too. Talk to those you need to talk to, ask the questions you need to ask, do what you have to do, bring that dream alive, let's see it and admire it. Let us wow at it.

Jesus asked if men ever light a candle and hide it under a bowl.

No. Here is where they put it:

"...on a lampstand, and it gives light to all those in the house."

So?

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your moral excellence {and} your praiseworthy, noble, {and} good deeds and recognize {and} honor {and} praise {and} glorify your Father Who is in Heaven."

That's Matthew 5:15-16.

What has happened to you in the past is no yardstick to measure how great you will do in the remainder of your life, but it all depends on you to believe that and get to work. Permit your light to shine now.

Ah, yes, now I just remembered something that will help me drive this point home.

In one of my church youth meetings some years back, our teacher was talking about this same topic: hard work. He was encouraging us to read books about great men, to do the things that they did, to stop sleeping away our time, and so on. At a point, he began to lament about himself, how he knew he had the potentials to write a book and has never written one, how he knew he had great songs to sing but has never got himself to work that hard, on, on, and then he began to exhort us powerfully; "If you want something, go for it! If you desire something, go get it, you want something, go for it!"

It was a great sermon, the church was warm. Suddenly, he stopped and decided to test us. He decided to see if we were just enjoying the sermon or if we were really getting his message. Here's what he did. He brought out a five hundred naira note, raised it up for us all to see and asked, "How many of you will like to have five hundred naira just for lunch today?" We all raised our hands and began to get our hopes up. Maybe he'll ask a question and the smart pupil that answered correctly will get the money. Maybe it will be a matter of luck or favor, we did not know, but we were hoping, I was hoping I'd get it. There was silence in the church for almost forever, until somebody stood up from behind, walked up to the front without a word, took the money from our teacher, and went back to sit. Everyone suddenly screamed, realizing what had just happened. We all had wanted the money, everyone had wanted to be lucky, but only one person had wanted it, seen it and gone for it. After we settled down, our teacher beamed in conclusion, "If you want something, go for it."

Oh my God, that got me laughing. Really, if you want something, go for it, get up and get it. It may not be as easy as just walking up front to get a naira note, but trust me, it's that simple. Get a move in the right direction and stretch out your hand just in time to grab your goal.

When I got to typing this current page, my monitor flashed 'Page 99', wow, only some months ago, I was on page 1, not too sure if I would continue, not sure if anyone would read my work or if I'd ever get published. I did not have money, and I did not know where I would get the money from. Well, it was written, edited, and the only sensible thing was that it should be published.

"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and green and tomorrow is tossed into the furnace, will He not much more surely clothe you, O you of little faith?" Matthew 6:30.

"If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:11 NIV.

Now, Paul rounds it up in Romans 8:32.

"He who did not withhold or spare [even] His own Son, but gave Him up for us all, will He not also with him, freely and graciously give us all [other] things?"

In Genesis 22:16, God asked Abraham to deliver his only son Isaac for a burnt offering and...you know that amazing story of all time. When Abraham did not hold his son back, God was so impressed that He said:

"...By myself have I sworn, says the LORD, that since you have done this and have not withheld [from me] {or} begrudged [giving me] your son, your only son, in blessing I will bless you and in multiplying I will multiply your descendants like the stars of the heavens..." Genesis 22:16

Hannah did a wonderful thing too, but what Abraham did (or was going to do) was simply incredible. God knew that if Abraham could give his only son over to Him as sacrifice, then there was nothing else in his power that he would not give if God had asked. And so, if God has given you His one and only Son when you did not even ask, what else do you think would be hard for Him to give you when you ask? Every other thing needed for life, and for physical and spiritual comfort, I don't know about you, but I believe I have them all. I remember God said to me when I just began this book and was worried about money, "Are you ready to publish? When you are ready, tell me." I realized then that I was worrying about how I would publish when I had not even written anything. I had to do my work first and then let God do His. That's the way it is. Do your part and then see if God will not do His. Start writing if that's it, start painting if that's it, start reading if that's it, start practicing if that's it, do something, how to prosper in what you do, oh, you don't worry about that, you surely will. Let's go on, there is another principle that follows this closely.

  3. DUMP DISOBEDIENCE

"This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night..." Joshua 1:8

Open your eyes wide now, you are about to discover the very secret to success. I like to tag it "secret", but I also like to quickly add that it is an open secret. It lies all the while in that book you ca

rry around always, to church and back, to school and back. It is forever lying on your table, and forever sitting in your cellphone. So, this is not exactly a secret, it's only something you did not know.

When Joshua took over the position of Moses after his death, this was the first instruction God gave to him. From the first verse in the book of Joshua, God began to tell the fine warrior about the great things He is going to accomplish and how his dream to lead the people to the Promised Land will come to pass...but He said:

"Only you be strong and very courageous, that you may do according to all the law which Moses my servant commanded you...that you may prosper wherever you go." Verse 7.

It was the SOLE instruction God gave to Joshua. Notice the repetition God made in verse 8:

"...but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe {and} do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely {and} have good success."

There is an equally profound verse in the book of psalms.

Psalms 1.

"Blessed (Happy, fortunate, prosperous, and enviable) is the man who walks {and} lives not in the counsel of the ungodly...But his delight {and} desire are in the law of the Lord and on His law (the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God) he habitually meditates...by day and by night."

You have just resumed work in a top firm, say Unilever, for example. A set of instructions is given to you the day you walk in with a nice suit to assume your post, and very clearly, your very success in that firm is dependent on how diligently you heed the code of conduct. In the Christian race, your success is directly proportional to your KNOWLEDGE and OBSERVANCE of the laid-down rules.

Back to Psalm 1.

"And he shall be like a tree firmly planted [and tended] by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not wither; and EVERYTHING he does shall prosper [and come to maturity].

Let's take a minute with that. This verse (verse 3) says that the meditating and obedient man is like a tree planted and nourished by streams of water. Does something catch your eye? The tree is not tended by a stream, notice, but by streams (with an 's'). What does this mean? At the east, west, north and south, this _tree_ has _streams_ tending it. It occurred to me by the revelation of the Holy Spirit that there is only one place since creation that has trees which are nourished by pairs of streams, the ancient Eden itself. Good old Eden has four rivers nourishing her trees, The River Pishon, Gihon, Tigris and the River Euphrates. Are you following? Now, try to imagine a man as a tree planted in Eden. Apart from the important fact that he has all provisions made available for _him_ all the seasons of the year, _he_ is also secured. This is what I mean: Eden is our dream, so to say, as Christians. We hope that someday soon, we will be able to live in the new Eden with God, just like it was in the days of the first man and woman; we are fighting hard so that by God's mercies, we will be in Paradise with God at the appointed time. Psalm 1 says that the man who thinks about God's Word day and night and conducts himself according to His counsels is already a man in Eden, already a man in Paradise. Smack down! What's the deal? Obey the Word, and Heaven is already in you! Sir, if you study the law of the Lord and obey His instructions without wavering, you are not going to fail on earth as well as in Heaven. How do you get to obey the Law? Start by meditating on it day and night.

"...The words (truths) that I have been speaking to you are spirit and life." John 6:64.

Don't get it all mixed up. The Bible doesn't mean you will have it all cool and dandy, even Eden trees are made with roots so they could fetch their food. You will have to work hard, but you will not have to starve or beg. In all that you do, you shall prosper, but that does not mean you will not face challenges. As a tree surrounded by streams, you have needed resources made available, with full protection, in the Garden of God Himself, so spread out your branches and grow. It is simply two principles that you need apply, and those are to study and to obey.

  4. PRAY THROUGH

....that simple, yes. Pray.

What relationship would you have with a person who you don't talk with? That will be kind of awkward. The act of prayer is a privilege God extends to men, an opportunity to be able to pour our minds to a faithful and reliable Father. One of the most important lessons I got from a book by Dudley J. Delffs, "The Prayer Centered Life" was that prayer is not supposed to be a burdensome obligation or something that needs to be done and gotten over with at a specific period of every day to fulfill all righteousness, and then if you don't do the exercise, you feel terrible. God is not delighted in foolish sacrifices and mindless repetitions, He is concerned about you, not just your offering. He wants to communicate with us, know how we feel, know why we want what we want and to show His love to us through His Word and His Holy Spirit.

My little cousin used to enjoy writing with me when she was younger and she wrote me a few short stories some years ago. One of them was particularly intriguing, written in a child's innocent style with full stops almost everywhere and although she did not complete it, God still passed the message to me. This is what the first few lines looked like:

"Once upon a time, there was a man. The man had a wife. The man and his wife did not have a child. The man prayed to God."

She then drew a man with face raised and hands stretched forward, talking to God. I'm sure Tenny has forgotten all about that story. It might not look like much, but for me it tells the story of somebody who knew that there was Someone he could talk to when he had problems. The man had a problem and he knew to pray. He knew to pray because he knew his God. There's something about men who made it through life; they prayed. Queen Esther did, Deborah did, David did, Nehemiah did, and so did Jesus.

"Then he told them goodbye and went up to the side of a mountain

to pray." Mark 6:46.

Communicating with God is your sure bet to peace in a world of ups and downs. What will a man do, who does not know to come to God in the Name of Jesus? That is how to request the Will of God be done in every situation and avoid making grave mistakes.

I know the question on your mind: Must I always get into a locked room? Should I pray three times a day? How long, two hours? Must I speak in tongues?

What should your prayer life look like? Prayer, first, is an all-day-long communication with the Spirit that resides in you. You are aware of the presence of God with you all day, asking Him for direction over every decision, meditating on His Word and receiving instructions. You go about your activities, pay bills, talk to those you love, have fun and learn, yet carry that consciousness in your spirit that God is with you. This is true prayer.

"Keep your foot [give your mind to what you are doing] when you go [as Jacob to sacred Bethel] to the house of God. For to draw near [and] obey is better than to give the sacrifice of fools [carelessly, irreverently] too ignorant to know that they are doing evil." Ecclesiastes 5:1.

God is not interested in demonstrations that do not come from the heart.

"For You delight not in sacrifice, or else I would give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering. My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise." Psalm 51:16-17.

Setting time apart to pray is very necessary as a child of God, I must say. When you spend time praying, you see more of God, you learn more about Him, the longer you stay, the more you learn. If you spend an extra one minute, you get something extra. Spending time away from everyone else and in solace with your heavenly Father regularly and consistently is not just a nice thing to do, it is important.

"...Get up and pray that you may not enter [at all] into temptation." Luke 22:46.

Well, how often you go into seclusion to pray depends on you, but I would advise you are consistent about it so that you will not just fumble around life, not sure if God is involved with what you are doing. If you will get to know God, you should want to communicate with Him. We do not have any strength of our own, we do not even know how to pray, but the patient Holy Spirit helps us to pray. I asked God to help me so that my set-apart time of prayer does not degenerate into some kind of empty routine. I asked Him to lead me to spend quality time with Him always. The true sacrifice He desires is that of obedience to His Word with repentance of heart, and even when we draw close to talk to Him, He is not interested in our so many words. Prayer does not have a technical approach to it but we are to do it in sincerity and with respect for the One we approach. This way, you will grow in a true relationship with God. You do not know what the Father has on the menu at your meeting _today,_ maybe you will be singing all through your prayer time, or discussing, or speaking in tongues for the most part of the time you spend away alone with God. You are only sure of one thing, you will express yourself. God always looks forward to having you all to Himself again after a long day. It is as simple as that sort of relationship we have with somebody we cherish. We talk and think about them all day, carry them in our hearts and all, even send them messages and e-mails, but at some point, we want to get together with them and talk for long, alone, you get the picture now.

Pray through as you chase your dreams down. Pray for spiritual and physical strength, pray for grace, pray for favor, pray and covet the presence of the Lord. Pray when you are faced with a challenge, pray when everything is all fine and dandy.

"Pray without ceasing", 2 Thessalonians 5:17.
CHAPTER 11

WHAT YOU SHOULD EXPECT

If you do not know the laws of right conduct, you cannot form your character.

Swami Sivananda

Thus far has God helped you, and now even after getting yourself together to launch out again, you must keep the facts in mind so you do not find yourself all hit one more time. You will be fine, that's sure, but as much as we would like to tell fairy tales, laugh and say sweet things, we must be ready to say the truth. You will meet some things on the go, either you like it or not. They are what I call the inevitable components of life and we'll break them into two.

1. Trials and Temptations.

2. Transition into eternity.

TRIALS AND TEMPTATIONS

Blessed (happy, to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial {and} stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test {and} been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12.

The devil will constantly attempt to make you go off track for he is ever looking for what to steal from you. First of all, we must know this; that none of us, none, can resist temptation by herself or himself. The devil will set traps in those areas where we are weak and those areas where we are somewhat strong.

Galatians 5:19: "Now the doings (practices) of the flesh are clear (obvious): they are immorality, impurity, indecency, idolatory, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger..."

The other day I jammed this handsome guy. He was really cute, and guess what, he was asking me out. I was lost in his face for a moment there, I just wanted to stretch out my hand for a warm handshake. I have a thing for beauty and when I see a really beautiful person, I admire. Okay, if it's a handsome guy with a cool car, I'm in the third heavens. Please, let me just describe it the way it is, let me be sincere. Thank God for His grace, the point of the whole thing. In another moment I had to remember that the way that looked all smooth was a straight route to destruction. I love God, I love His law, so what did I do? I walked away from his face.

Obedience is the proof of your love for God. All temptations you will face in life will be to make you disobey God's law. It is the Lord Who helps us overcome temptations but your willingness to obey is very important. You must stand your ground and show that you truly love God by resisting temptation. John 15:14: "You are my friends if you keep on doing the things which I command you to do."

To resist temptation, we have a biblical instruction in the book of James 4:6-7:

"But He gives us more and more grace (power of the Holy Spirit, to meet this evil tendency and all others fully). That is why He says, God sets Himself against the proud and haughty, but gives grace [continually] to the lowly (those who are humble enough to receive it). So be subject to God, Resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from you."

The key is humility.

Our God does not tempt us with evil (James 1:13), the devil does, so if you submit yourself to God and let Him know truly that apart from Him you will fail, you will surely receive His grace to overcome every temptation that comes your way.

Let me just say it again: all you have to do is to be humble, for pride is always the precursor to a man's downfall in temptation (Proverbs 18:12).

As for trials, only the grace of God can see us through that one. God lets us get tried in our faith so we can grow, so He can bless us the more. He will never allow any actual evil to befall us, He does not try us to fail us. Our attitudes during trials are very important and so is our praying to God when we experience unpleasant situations. We must know that when we pray, when we reject something, nobody can force it on us. One of those days when I was in a kind of panic attack about the kind of trial I may be made to face as a test of my faith, I came into the book of Psalms. Chapter 91 had all the answers for me.

"You shall not be afraid of the terror of the night...nor of the sudden death that surprise {and} lay waste at noonday." Verse 5-6

...and so does Jeremiah 29:11:

"For I know the thoughts {and} plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts {and} plans for welfare {and} not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome."

Do not be afraid of what is not real because God will not permit any harm to come to you, If you ever experience something you feel is strange, reject it in prayer, using the irrefutable Sword of the Spirit (the Word), and nobody will be able to force it on you.

Why trials then?

Our God does not do bad things but He did not say we would pass untested, this is what He said:

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you...When you walk through the fire; you will not be burned or scorched..." Isaiah 43:2.

You may face flood and storms, there may be fire, but in all these, you will come out stronger, unharmed, as long as you know your God. And that's the purpose of it: to make you stronger. Trials have a way of toughening us up, just like school exams, they are meant to promote you, to move you to a new level of spiritual maturity and experience. God is going to test your faith to prepare your mind and get you ready for the next thing that is coming your way. The devil will tempt you to make you fall short of the glory God is willing to crown you with. Who is on the Lord's side? May the good Lord guide us through.

TRANSITION INTO ETERNITY

Inevitably, sometime in the future, you will experience physical death or to save you the stress, the second coming of Jesus Christ. Physical death is certain if Christ does not come for His saints before your time on earth runs out, but if Christ does come, you will need to be prepared for the rapture.

The reality of eternity should never leave your mind, even if the journey of life becomes overwhelming and tough. Do not forget that the main thing is to prepare for eternity and take as many people as possible with you. If rapture meets you on the wrong side of life, you are done for. When the call to eternity comes, you had better be ready to go to the right place. If not by rapture, death will surely come around when God permits. Do not be afraid; only be prepared to give account any day.

"...He who overcomes (is victorious) shall in no way be injured by the second death."Revelation 2:11.

Only one thing will help us in this life, that is the grace of the Lord. He who obtains God's grace has everything and look how beautiful God has done it that He made it available for us all, (1 John 3:1),

As you go along, do not be ignorant of these things, for you will absolutely not escape them, and you must not fail but succeed when they come. I am so talking to myself too. May God keep us all.
CHAPTER 12

WHEN YOU GET THERE

There are no traffic jams in the extra mile.

Zig Ziglar

You will achieve your every set goal to God's glory if you keep on keeping on. God has provided everything you will need to fulfill destiny (2 Peter 1:3-4). When you begin to notice yourself doing fine in one thing or the other, and the sorrows of yesterday are well turning to be testimonies today, when you see yourself enjoying one privilege or the other and realize your days are getting better in Christ, you must take care, because even then, you will not be infallible.

In the bestseller Rich dad, Poor dad, Rich Dad told his kids, "It's not really about getting the money, it's about what you do when you get the money", and that is so true. We have discussed how to get out of the ashes you may have found yourself in, to wash up and look back into yourself to remember all those dreams you have given up on, and then to surge forward with new hope and stronger courage in Christ. I know you will come around in good time but the question is what will you do when you finally attain the goal you always prayed to? You will do well to remember that it is God who gives promotion and it is He who can demote a man whenever He so likes. So even then, you will still have work to do.

Listen, to stay healed, do not back down in doing what you were taught to do, **keep doing all the things you have been doing.** Yes, everything you did, everything good you did as you fought your way to good success, keep doing them, do them even more and you will please God. As you climb the ladder, you are taught to be humble, to pray through, to work hard, to be patient, to watch your words, to make every day count, to do this and that, now just keep doing those things. If you stop, you may fall back with a louder crash and nobody wants that. It may be hard getting there, but it is harder staying there.

There is so much to talk about, but can books ever end? The Holy Spirit will teach you all you need to know as you stay in fellowship with Him.

May God's unfailing grace keep you as you journey on, and keep me too.
EPILOGUE

Welcome Grace,

The house is set for you to settle in,

All inhibitors have been sent packing,

Come, come dwell in me.

I know of Your charity,

And Your patience,

I have heard about it,

Please Jesus let me see it.

Mercy, love and peace,

Welcome into my life,

The lamp has been trimmed and oiled,

Darkness is no more.

How is a man to find grace?

Look unto Jesus Who came down,

Obey His instructions in love,

And you will be in awe of His love.

Welcome, saving grace,

Never to leave again,

O my God, giver of grace,

Dwell in me for all of eternity.
CONNECT WITH MIRIAM

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I'd love to hear from you. Can't wait actually.

Thanks for downloading this eBook. Do watch out for more by books by the author.

God bless you.

The glowing coin in the cover page is a logo of the More Minas Worship Group, a Christian organization based in Nigeria with the vision of encouraging writers and gifted folks to put their talents to use. The group also has the vision of engaging writers in raising funds for charity homes and for the less privileged.

This is us.

Feel to join in? All the qualification you need is to be a child of God and be ready put your talents to use, maximally.

Watch out for our second annual writers' convention later this year too. We are all so excited.

The group is headed by Miriam.

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