

FLOURED

By: Lane Martin

Copyright 2015 © Lane Martin

SMASHWORDS EDITION

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, without written permission from the author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages embodied in critical articles or in a review.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

Cover design by: Rebecca Pau, The Final Wrap

Editing & Formatting by: Wendi Temporado, Ready, Set, Edit

# Dedication

For all who believed I could

#

With a sigh, I leaned against the door jam and looked around the now empty apartment. Natalie sniffled through the phone. Leave it to my bleeding heart best friend to be crying when I was the one being evicted. "Are you sure you don't want me to come over?"

"I'm fine, Nat. Gabe just took off, and I'm about to leave too." Thankfully Gabe is able to store the few things I own at his family's business until I find a new place to live. I don't feel too bad about it because I do employ them to make all my deliveries for my company. I don't know why I'm not more upset; maybe it's because I knew it was the risk I was taking when I made my decision. Helping my sister was the right thing to do, even if it had led to the bright-green notice being attached to my apartment door. I can say for sure that I never want to experience this again. The pitiful looks I got from the neighbors wouldn't be playing on my highlight reel any time soon. "This place was a shit hole. I'll find something better."

"Are you sure you don't want to just stay with us?" I've already had this conversation with both Nat and Gabe, and I didn't want to have it again. I love my best friends, but no way was I going to stay with them. Natalie was my roommate starting freshman year. We quickly became inseparable. To others, we were the odd couple, but somehow we just clicked. I'm the one from California, but she's the one with the blue eyes, blonde hair, and bohemian vibe. Natalie is fun loving, always the life of the party. Not that I'm not fun, I'm just more reserved. Not shy, just a little slow to warm up. I met Gabe in Social Foundations I, and when he asked me out, I couldn't resist his boy-next-door charm and dimples. We didn't make a love connection, but I knew instantly he was perfect for Natalie. Gabe is as easygoing as Nat, not that I'm uptight or anything. I just like things a certain way.

"I'm sure, Bridezilla." She's really not that bad, but no way in hell am I staying with Gabe and her when they have a lot of plans to finalize for the wedding, and besides, the walls in their apartment are paper-thin. I'm kind of surprised they haven't been evicted. I'm still not sure why they ever thought getting married on New Year's Eve in New York was a good idea, but it's what they want and as maid of honor it's my job to go with the flow and keep the bride happy.

"Watch it, or I'll switch your dress to the eighties throwback with the puffy sleeves, and you'll be styling crimped hair and blue eye shadow." I knew she was kidding. We both fell in love with my gray strapless dress with the perfect amount of bling the minute we saw it, just like we did hers. Yes, she had definitely experienced _that_ moment, and we all cried right along with her.

"It's your wedding." I knew images of her wedding album were running through her head when we both began to laugh.

"You're such a bitch."

"But you love me anyway." I truly did.

"You know I do. If you change your mind, you know where to find us."

"Yeah, I do. Thanks, Nat, and thank Gabe properly for me when he gets home." The little nymph picked up instantly on what I was implying, and I could tell she liked the idea.

"Oh, you so know I will. He just walked in. I'll talk to you later. Au revoir." Nat was practicing her French for the Parisian honeymoon they are taking. I hit end on the phone and took one final look around. Things couldn't get much worse, so that meant they had to get better.

Aunt Maggie practically begged me to apartment-sit while she is in California for a much-needed vacation. She said I would be doing her a favor, but I was on to her. She knew I didn't like depending on other people. It was the main reason that I moved as far away from my family as possible. It's not that I don't love them—because I do—I just never wanted to end up like my mother. She depended on my father for everything. She gave up her life for him, and what did it get her? After seventeen years of marriage, it got her nada, zip, zero, zilch. No, I will never be that woman. My sister is headed down the exact same road, and that's how I ended up in this mess in the first place. Once again, she got involved with the wrong guy. If I had a dollar for every time she said, "He's the one," I would be rich. It's not that they aren't both smart and beautiful women, it's just they both seem to still believe in white knights and happily ever after. I used to see my father that way, but when he traded in my mother for a younger model and left my sister and me behind without a backward glance, it made me see things differently very quickly. Now, I choose to believe I am the master of my own fate. I can save myself, thank you very much. Besides, who ever said I needed to be saved? This is just a bump in the road, a little setback, a wrinkle in time. You know what they say, that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. When one door closes, another one opens.

Maggie is not really my aunt, but she and my mom have been best friends since junior high. I'm closer to her than I am my actual aunt, and I know she would do anything for me, including asking her employer to allow me to stay in their home while they are traveling in Europe, and she is on the other side of the country. She is the housekeeper and cook for a very prominent couple, and from the sound of it they spend more time traveling than they do at home. Most people would probably take advantage of the situation, but not Maggie. She is one of the most trustworthy people I know. She's worked for them for years and is desperate to set me up with their son. She has assured me he has his own apartment and rarely visits his mother and father. I've read articles about him in the business journal; he's very successful and has done great things to expand the family business since taking it over, but I have no interest in dating. I don't have time for it. I've never even been to the apartment before, but based on the posh Upper East Side address I know it will be nice.

I closed the door to the apartment with my giant fake designer purse slung over my shoulder, and my suitcase rolling behind me and headed to the subway station. At least I will be able to save some money for a new place while I am staying at the deluxe apartment in the sky. Don't judge me, you sang it too. I got off at Seventy-Seventh Street and walked the quarter mile from the station to the building.

"Good afternoon, Miss." I almost lost it when the doorman greeted me in his green uniform jacket with the matching captain's hat. Why did my grandmother subject me and Libby to watching reruns of the Jefferson's when we were kids? I began to panic, hoping I had some cash in my purse, because if this guy was anything like Ralph he surely would be expecting a tip. "Miss Barnes, I presume," he said as he followed me into the opulent lobby after holding the door open for me. How did he know who I was? He must have seen the concern in my eyes. "Not to worry, Ms. Maggie said we should be expecting you." Something about the way he said Maggie's name made me wonder if something was going on between the two. "That and we don't see a lot of residents arriving on foot pulling their own luggage behind them," he said with a bright smile; it instantly made me feel at ease.

"Oh, right."

"I'm Billy. It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Barnes." He offered me his hand, but instead of shaking mine, he raised it to his lips and kissed the back of it. I couldn't help but blush at the sweet older man. I hope I'm right about him and Maggie. They would be adorable together.

"And they say chivalry is dead, Billy. Please, call me Emily."

"Very well, Emily. Welcome. Here is the key to the apartment, fourteenth floor; just use it to operate the elevator. All the arrangements have been made with Eastern Express. They will be here in the morning, and I believe you will find all of your deliveries already upstairs. If you need anything, just press nine on the house phone, and it will ring my desk."

I entered the elevator and inserted my key to allow me access to the fourteenth floor. Wow, okay, so I might not have believed in fairy tales anymore, but that apartment was magical. The elevator opened straight into an elegant gallery that led into the formal living room that boasted high ceilings, crown moldings, hardwood floors, and views of Central Park that are to die for. The room was impeccably decorated; it looked like something you would see in a magazine. I dropped my bags, raised my arms out, and began to spin around in circles like a little girl. To my right was a formal dining room. I could only imagine all the beautiful people that had sat at the long table under the massive crystal chandelier. On the other side of the living room was a library with an enormous desk and floor to ceiling bookshelves filled with hardbound books—the room shared the same magnificent view of the park as the living room. I felt like an intruder as I began to explore the apartment for a bedroom. Maggie had insisted I stay in the main apartment rather than her quarters. What I could only imagine was the master bedroom was right next to the library. Beveled antique mirrors flanked the tufted headboard. I couldn't help but run my hand over the luxurious matelassé bedding. The room boasted a closet that was probably bigger than my old apartment. No way was I sleeping in here. The next room I entered was dark and very masculine. It had navy-blue walls and rich mahogany furniture. I felt a bit like Goldilocks when I sat on the bed and decided it was too firm. I continued down the hall and found another bedroom, it, of course, was beautiful, but I decided to keep on looking. A giant family room was next. In comparison to the elegance of the rest of the apartment, this felt the most casual, the most like home. Don't get me wrong, the television was the biggest one I've ever seen and the brown leather furniture was clearly expensive, but it looked like you could get comfy under the cashmere blanket that hung off the back of the sofa. Just off the family room was an average sized bedroom. The room felt like a garden with linens that were printed with blossoms and birds in pink and green. This room was just right. A set of stairs led up to Maggie's apartment that was beautiful in its own right. It was a complete one-bedroom apartment, and I couldn't help but laugh when I saw a collage of photos of Libby and me throughout the years. I returned downstairs and entered the kitchen. It was my dream come true; a baker's delight with granite counter tops that were perfect for rolling out dough and commercial grade stainless steel appliances. I nearly fainted when I saw the two side-by-side double ovens. Maybe I _had_ died and gone to heaven. Inside the pantry, I found all of the supplies that Billy had said were delivered. I was so excited to begin baking that I ran to my earlier abandoned luggage and went to my room to change.

My beloved, cherry-red, KitchenAid mixer that my mother gave me when I gave up my "real" job to start my own business was beating when the house phone began to ring. I barely heard it over the music playing loudly from the sound system that I had connected my phone to. I decided not to answer it and put it on my mental checklist to ask Maggie about it. As far as I knew, Billy, Mr. and Mrs. Hayes, and she were the only ones that knew I was here. I got lost in the music and began to dance and sing along with Nicholas Petricca as he told me to "Shut Up and Dance."

"Wow this is one hell of a show," I heard a husky male voice that was a sexy combination of Irish brogue and New York behind me as I dropped an egg on the floor.

I screeched, grabbed a large mixing spoon off the nearby counter to defend myself with, and faced my attacker. _Holy Mary, Mother of God!_ Yes, I'd definitely died and gone to heaven, because sitting on one of the stools at the eat-in kitchen watching me, was a man that girls my age dream about.

"Who the hell are you?" I demanded once I came to my senses. The intruder wore an amused look on his beautiful face. His light-brown hair was styled in a mussed up manner, and his tie hung loosely from his expensive charcoal-gray suit. His jaw was covered with five o'clock shadow, but what really got me was his smile and his beautiful green eyes that were focused solely on my chest which pissed me off. I've only met one other person in my life with eyes that shade of green. "Keep your eyes on me," I demanded, like in the song I had just paused on my phone.

"Oh excuse me." He snapped his head up. "It's a little hard to concentrate on anything else when you are dancing around my kitchen in a get-up that even a Hooters girl wouldn't wear." Okay, yes, my tiny tank and booty shorts were a little much—or should I say not enough—but I wasn't expecting an audience.

"Your kitchen?" Fuck, was I in the wrong apartment? Billy told me to put the key in the elevator and this is where it lead me. It figures, this could only happen to me, but my supplies were in the pantry and those were definitely Maggie's photos upstairs.

"Well, it is my parents' kitchen," he corrected. "Not that coming home to a beautiful woman dancing around my kitchen isn't nice, but who the hell are you?" he repeated my question to him. I was fairly sure he knew exactly who I was. Knowing Maggie like I do, she probably set this whole thing up, but I was stunned by his words.

"You think I'm beautiful?" I asked.

"Well yeah," he answered like it was the dumbest question in the world. "Gorgeous."

He rose from his seat, removed his jacket, and hung it on the back of the chair he just vacated. He pulled his tie off and rolled up the sleeves of his crisp white shirt as he walked around the counter and grabbed a sponge from the sink. He was tall, and his ass looked amazing in his perfectly tailored slacks. I swallowed down the lump in my throat as I watched him. His eyes trailed down my body as he crouched down to wipe up the egg at my feet. I'm not normally a giggler, but I couldn't help myself as the slippery egg just moved from side to side as he tried to clean it up. He looked up at me, rose, and put his hands on his hips, mimicking my stance.

"What? You were doing it wrong," I said once I finally stopped laughing. He was so close that I could smell him. He smelled as sexy as he looked; a mix of lavender, orange blossom, and spice—probably coriander.

"Do you know of a better way?" he asked with an amused look on his face. Without breaking eye contact, I reached for the salt on the counter and began to pour it over the top of the leathery membrane. With his attention on every move I made, I reached for a paper towel. Instead of crouching like he had, I attempted the "bend and snap" move from one my favorite movies. With the salt covering the egg, I was able to wipe it up easily. I looked over my shoulder at him, and I got the distinct impression that he was enjoying the view of all my "assets" that I had shamelessly offered him. Natalie would be so proud of me.

Once I stood up straight and turned back to face him, he cleared his throat. "Maybe we should start over. I'm Declan Hayes." He tossed the sponge in the sink and put out his hand. I hesitated because I wasn't sure what my traitorous body would do when it made direct contact with him. "It's called shaking hands. I don't bite, and I think a proper introduction is in order since you are practically naked in my home." That struck me since he didn't live here.

The timer went off on the oven pulling me out of my haze, or maybe I should say "Hayes" but he moved toward the oven before I could, grabbed two pot holders, and opened the door. He placed the muffin trays down on the counter. He looked so comfortable in the kitchen. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. "Thank you. I'm Emily Barnes," I stuttered. "Maggie is my aunt. Well, I mean she is, but she isn't, it's a long story." I rambled as I shook his hand and then felt mortified by my lack of clothing. I began to cover myself.

"Oh, ballbags, I think it's a little late for that." His laugh was robust and sensual. I blushed from head to toe. Under his breath, I thought he said something about wanting to see my arse pink as he sat back down at the counter.

"Maggie didn't tell me anyone else would be here. I'll pack my things and get out of your way." I guess I would need to get some ear plugs for couch surfing at Gabe and Nat's place after all.

"Don't be silly. We have plenty of room and I didn't tell Maggie or my parents I would be here. I'm having some work done on my apartment, and I like to surprise Maggie by just showing up since she's usually the only one here. Billy did try to call you to tell you that I was on my way up. I can say that I've never caught her baking in her knickers, so this is a special treat." He reached across the counter and grabbed one of the hot muffins. He tossed it back and forth between his two hands before placing a large piece in his mouth.

"Hey, that just cost me two dollars," I teased because I would actually pay money to watch him eat. It was sexy as hell.

He moaned and his eyes rolled back in his head as he savored his first bite. "Wait a minute, these taste familiar." He took another bite. "They taste just like Mama M's muffins that are sold at Greta's in the Chelsea Market." My heart filled with pride and my smile widened.

"That's me."

He looked shocked. "Mama M is an old lady, and I pay almost four dollars for those at Greta's."

"It's called up-selling and marketing, buddy. Would you buy muffins from me?" I pointed out my inappropriate outfit.

He swallowed his last bite and licked his lips. _Good god, what else could he do with that mouth or those lips_? "I think I'd buy whatever you were selling, Miss Emily Barnes." Shit, at this rate he would have to wipe me off the floor just like that broken egg.

Declan Hayes made me feel hot and cold, or maybe fire and ice is more appropriate. I finished in the kitchen as quickly as possible and retreated to my room without saying another word to him. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. Should I pack up my things and leave? Should I move into Maggie's apartment? He had insisted that I stay where I was. Maggie said the same thing when I sent her a text earlier, and she also swore that she had no idea he was going to be here.

"What do I do?" I asked Nat after she finally stopped screaming when I finished telling her my story.

"Are you kidding me? I just Googled him. He's hot. I would so do him." I heard some noises in the background before I heard her apologize to her fiancée and promise that his dick was the only one that she would ever lick and stick again before she returned her attention back to me.

 "Lick and stick? That's disgusting. Remind me why we are friends again."

 "You know you love me. So he just set-up his laptop at the table and worked?" I didn't dare tell her that I had caught him looking at me a few times while I finished. "Go back out to the kitchen and talk to him, M, or forget talking altogether," she said suggestively.

 "He's not my type, Nat."

 "You don't have a type, Emily." I don't know how long we argued back and forth before I told her that I had to click to my other line to talk to my sister, Libby. I knew that other than promising I would leave my room in search of Declan that was the only thing that would get her off the phone. She didn't need to know that was an absolute lie and that I was going to bed.

#

 My alarm went off at three in the morning, as usual. I felt like I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. _Damn Declan Hayes._

The elevator dinged, and Matt walked out. Of course, the swank apartment had a separate service elevator for deliveries. "Holy crap, this place is fucking sick!"

"I know, right. Don't get used to it, and don't touch anything," I whispered, trying not to wake my "roomie". For the past five months, Matt, who works for Gabe and his family at Eastern Express and I have been carrying trays of muffins down eight flights of stairs five days a week. On the sixth day, it's Gabe. Gabe and Matt have been friends since they were little kids. I've never seen two families so close, and the amazing thing is that not only did they welcome Natalie and her parents with open arms, but me too.

"Relax, Lemon Drop. Why are you whispering? I thought Mag Pie was gone." Matt has a nickname for everyone. He pulled me into a big Matty hug just as Declan came hauling ass into the kitchen like he was ready to kill someone. Now it was my turn to say holy crap. He rounded the corner in just a pair of low-hung, black, Calvin Klein boxers. His chest was muscular, but not in a muscle head kind of way, and he only had a light dusting of chest hair. I couldn't help but notice the bulge in his shorts; I have to admit it looked like he had the "complete" package, if you know what I mean. Declan growled—yes, I said growled—when he saw Matt and me in the kitchen. Was he mad because we had woken him up?

"I'm sorry we woke you," I said as I attempted to pull away from Matt, who still held me in his arms. He towered over me with his six foot two frame and tightened his hold on me.

"Who the hell is he?" Was Declan angry that Matt was in the apartment?

Once I struggled out of his arms, Matt tried to step forward in an attempt to shield me from the angry, half-naked man who stood before us. I didn't need him to defend me. "I got this, Matt. Just take the trays to the truck." For once I had been able to put the trays on the rack in the kitchen, and then I covered them in wrap for the journey to Greta's. "Really, it's OK." Reluctantly, he did as I asked. If looks could kill, they would both be dead. "I'm sorry if we disturbed you. I use my friend's delivery company to transport the muffins to the market. Matt is the driver."

"You looked pretty chummy." He stood before me with his chest flared out like he was still ready to do battle. If I hadn't been so pissed, I would have been turned on. Who the hell does he think he is?

"Matt isn't just the driver; he's my friend." I didn't owe this man anything. "We will try not to wake you in the future. I'm sorry. Go back to bed, Mr. Hayes." Was it wrong that I hoped he went back to bed and tossed and turned like I had all night? With that, I left for the market to make my muffin delivery.

"So? Are you going to tell me who that was?" Matt is my friend, but I know that he wants to be more. I love him to death, but I'm not interested. It's not him; it's me. It will always be me. I think he's accepted that we aren't now, nor will we ever be, more than friends.

"Nobody, the apartment belongs to his parents. The noise just startled him."

"Yeah, right," Matt mumbled under his breath. I ignored him. What else could I say? We were early since we didn't have to make multiple trips up and down the stairs, so Matt bought me breakfast. I could tell he wasn't happy about me staying in the apartment with Declan, but it wasn't up to him. I made a mental note to ask Billy if the building had a gym. I was going to be needing it since we would be using the elevator instead of the stairs. I had a very tight dress to fit in for the wedding, and the last thing I needed was to pay for more expensive alterations.

Greta seemed okay with my larger than normal delivery. With two ovens, I was able to bake twice as much in half the time. I was thrilled with the extra cash it would bring me. I decided to buy the ingredients for a seasonal muffin and picked up two bottles of my go-to wine before I returned to the apartment.

Billy greeted me with a warm smile and offered to take my bags up, but I refused. A massive arrangement of white lilies was on the table in the foyer. They were beautiful. They made me feel happy and alive, and at that moment I decided to always have fresh flowers around, even if it was just a single carnation. I sat my things down and decided that I needed to take a nap. I walked past Declan's room, and I couldn't help myself. Now the dark furniture and the blue tones of the room made perfect sense. They screamed Declan; rich, powerful, brilliant, strong, bold, and beautiful. His unmade bed called out to me, and I crawled in. Before I knew it, I fell asleep taking in his unique sexy scent. Even in my dreams I couldn't get him out of my head.

All warm and happy feelings were lost the moment I entered the kitchen with my bags after my cat nap. I left him two muffins for breakfast on the counter and in return he left me ten dollars in payment. That bastard! I decided right then to give the jerk his change back in pennies. He was thoughtless, infuriating, intriguing, and a complete pain in the ass—a mighty fine one at that. I was fuming when I went to my room to take a shower, but to my surprise another flower arrangement was on my nightstand, and with it was a card. I was no longer sure if I was mad at him for being an ass or at myself for being unable to control myself thinking about that ass. Or should I say arse? Ugh! I ran my fingers over the top of the elegant script. My body tingled as I imagined him scrolling my name. What is this man doing to me? I sat on the edge of the bed and opened the card.

I look forward to getting to know you, Miss Barnes – Dec

Any lingering feeling of anger toward him instantly vanished. Maybe he wasn't an arse. I didn't recognize the delicate blossoms that ranged in colors from blue to purple. I had to ask myself why this arrangement was different from the other. I found it hard to believe that it was random; with Declan Hayes it seems that everything he does is intentional. I picked up the house phone and dialed nine.

"Good afternoon, Miss Emily. What can I do for you?"

"Good afternoon, Billy. By chance do you know the name of the florist that delivered the flowers?"

"Of course. That would be Jasmine's Garden; they do all of the arrangements in the building. "

"Thank you, Bill, have a good day."

"My pleasure, Miss." The line was disconnected, and I hesitated only a moment before I looked up the number on my cell phone and dialed.

"Jasmine's Garden," a pleasant woman answered.

"Hello. I'm a guest at the Hayes' apartment."

"Oh yes, Miss Barnes, I presume." I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that she knew who I was. "How can I help you?"

"Uhm, I was wondering about the arrangement with the card. Can you tell me what the flowers are? I've never seen them before."

"Yes, Bachelor Buttons. Those were nearly impossible to get. I'd say they withstood the flight very well. Mr. Hayes was adamant that we have them this morning." Flight? What the hell? Why was it so necessary that they be these particular flowers and when did he order them? We only met last night.

"I'm sorry to ask this but when did he order them and is Mr. Hayes always so persistent about his flowers?"

"He e-mailed me the order last night, and I can't say as to if he is always this particular; his mother has been ordering from me for years, but this is the first time Mr. Hayes has ever placed an order that I can recall. He came in first thing this morning to fill out the card. I hope this isn't out of line, but I must say that after dealing with his mother for so long, he was a very pleasant surprise." Apparently Maggie wasn't the only one who thought that his mother was difficult to work with.

"Oh, really?" How could I be mad at a man that signed his own card? I caressed his elegant script again. He could have easily just told them what to write in his e-mail or asked a secretary to order them for him, but it meant a lot that he had done it himself. I immediately added the words aggravating and sweet to the list of ways to describe Declan Hayes.

"I'm sorry. Maybe I've said too much."

"No, no, it's fine. Thank you for your help. The arrangements are lovely." With that, I disconnected the line and began to research Bachelor Buttons on my phone. Native to the British Isles, they signify anticipation. Declan Hayes is anticipating getting to know me? So that's what he was doing last night when he settled behind his computer at the dining room table in the only seat with a view straight into the kitchen. Having him sitting there was unnerving. I felt like he was watching me. He was busy on his laptop, but I did catch him looking at me a few times. My body overheated even in my skimpy outfit; the man didn't have to do anything and he set me on fire. I swear my heated look alone could have melted the ice in the glass tumbler filled with amber liquid that he held in his hand. I should have packed my things and left right then. Declan Hayes is dangerous. The funny thing about fire and ice is that they both can burn.

I decided to turn on some music and soak in a bath instead of taking a shower. A bathtub was a luxury I hadn't had in a while, so I decided to take advantage of it. After a good long soak, I got dressed in something a little less revealing than yesterday and got to work in the kitchen. It was five o'clock when I opened my favorite bottle of cabernet. I was so engrossed in my baking that, once again, I didn't notice him come in. I think I felt him before I saw him this time. I turned to face him with my glass of deep red-purple deliciousness in my hand. He swooped in faster than he had this morning, taking not only my glass but the bottle of wine that sat on the counter.

"What the hell?" I demanded as he poured my vino right down the drain.

"Not in my house."

"The hell with that. I saw you drinking last night. You owe me a bottle of wine!" Was he serious?

"Is that what you call that abomination you were drinking?"

I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. "That was a twelve dollar bottle of my favorite wine." He moved around me in a flourish, leaving me alone in the kitchen. He was back moments later with a new bottle.

"That is swill." He opened the bottle and poured not one but two glasses. "This is wine." He handed me a glass and lifted it to toast. "To new favorites." Hardly, the bottle he had just opened was over four hundred dollars. I knew because I had noticed it yesterday when I was snooping around and saw the same bottle this morning at the market. I tipped the glass and put my nose in it. If I was going to drink it, I was going to enjoy it. Declan seemed amused, and my foul mood lightened when he smiled. It looked like the wine class I took with Greta at the wine bar in the market was finally going to pay off.

"What do you smell?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Flowers, mint, and something else." I had a pretty good nose. Seeing him smile was like watching the sunrise—breathtaking.

"Yes, it's—"

"Don't tell me," I cut him off. I wanted to figure it out myself. I twirled the glass and watched as the legs ran down the sides before taking another sniff.

"Cinnamon and licorice," I said with a smile before I took a small sip and began to roll the wine around my mouth. Declan took another appreciative drink. This wine was like the man himself: full-bodied, elegant, and way out of my league. I pursed my lips to let in some air, but what I really wanted to do was lick my lips because watching him turned me on. He moved toward me as I took another sip.

"Were going to dinner at eight at Swayed." I nearly choked. He was telling, not asking. Did he think this was a date?

"That's not possible. It takes months to get a reservation at Swayed, and I'm working," I noted as the timer went off.

I opened the oven door and removed the batch of my new cranberry orange muffins. Declan removed his suit jacket and began rolling up his sleeves. Something about the way this man moved around the kitchen really got to me. He looked so confident, and to me confidence is sexy as fuck.

"I know people. Go get dressed, I'll finish up here." Before I could object, he was filling the tins and opening the oven.

"I don't have anything to wear," I told him as I continued to watch him work effortlessly.

"These are new," he said as he peeled back the paper and tried my latest creation. It kind of thrilled me that he really was a fan of my muffins.

"Yeah. I thought I would offer something seasonal for the holidays."

"Are you selling them at Greta's?"

"If she wants them." We hadn't discussed it, and I wasn't sure what she would think.

"Oh, she'll want them, but you need to raise the price."

"What?" I screeched.

"Greta will and so should you." I shook my head. "I'm serious. Trust me on this. It's all about supply and demand. You know that. She'll pay more. I guarantee it. She can put a limited time only spin on them." I knew that he was right, but I wasn't about to tell him that.

"And if she won't?"

"I'll buy them all." Was that confidence or arrogance I detected in his voice?

"Why?"

"Because I believe in you." My heart fluttered, and at that moment I let my guard down just a little.

"Now go get dressed. Just wear whatever you have. Maybe your outfit from last night." Yeah, right very funny. I was hungry, and I have dreamed of going to Swayed since it opened a couple of years ago. The owner, like me, has a warped sense of humor. Most people would have called it Suede. I couldn't say no. Could I?

This is ridiculous. Why am I standing here looking in my closet like something is going to change? I own exactly three dresses, and one of them is still at the bridal shop. The sundress I wore for my graduation last May, my maid of honor dress for Nat and Gabe's upcoming wedding, and the dress I bought for the rehearsal dinner. Bought being a very loose term. Nat actually got it for me. She said the dress was made for me and that not getting it would be an act of high treason. She told me, "Every girl needs a LBD." I didn't even know what that meant. I'm a function girl; my closet consists of things that I can bake in. Give me a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of Chucks and I'm good to go. Nat and I had gone to an event that a local radio station was hosting for a woman's shelter. For weeks, they collected dresses of every shape, size, and style then they had them all dry cleaned and sold them for ten dollars each. Nat left with armloads of dresses; I left with one. I kind of felt like I would be disappointing Natalie if I wore the dress tonight, so I sent her a text.

<b>Me:</b> Declan is taking me to Swayed for dinner. Will you be pissed if I wear your LBD?

I was proud of myself for using her lingo. Surprisingly, Nat had been on radio silence all day. Gabe, however, did call me this afternoon when Matt blabbed about the crazy man I am "living" with. Matt actually described him as an Irish Car Bomb. That actually made me laugh out loud; only Matt would give him such an inappropriate, yet fitting, nickname. He's lucky I love him, or I would have killed him a long time ago.

I held my phone away from my ear when I answered. That was one lesson I had learned the hard way our freshman year. Nat's a screamer.

"Are you frickin' kidding me? Swayed? How? It takes a year to get a reservation. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." That was an exaggeration, but it _is_ difficult to get a table.

"Breathe, Nat." Natalie and I are serious foodies—or we would be if we could afford it.

"You bitch, you're going to Swayed! You better wear that dress. Do you need me to come over and help you get dressed?"

"No thanks, I've actually been dressing myself since I started wearing big girl panties."

"This is huge, M. Speaking of panties...."

"No, Nat, this is just two people eating dinner. Apparently he knows the owner." I hadn't told her about the flowers because I knew she would read too far into it. I was already doing that enough for the both of us. Natalie got her white knight, and now she's convinced that I need to find mine too. She's on a mission. I have no doubt in my mind that she spent the afternoon on the Internet cyberstalking Declan. That's just who she is. Then again, she wasn't blowing up my phone which made me curious.

"Is everything OK?" I know this is a stressful time for her, and I feel like I'm a terrible maid of honor.

"Yeah, why?"

 "Because you didn't call me this afternoon and give me a crash course on Declan Hayes." Sometimes her stalking abilities amaze me. She snickered on the other end of the line.

"M, I didn't call you because from what I heard it sounds like you already know everything you need to about him." What the hell did that even mean? Every single time someone has asked me out since we met she has spent hours convincing me why I should go. Oh shit, I called her and told her I was going out with him. Apparently I didn't need her to convince me this time. "You better get going. You wouldn't want to keep that handsome hunk of a man candy waiting." Only Nat. "Put your hair up and for God's sake don't wear flats. You won't be schlepping on the subway and your legs look amazing in that dress. If anyone asks, you're wearing Herve Leger."

Shit, I hadn't thought of that. Apparently I was going to have to spend more than my normal fifteen minutes to get ready. "Yes, Mom. Anything else?"

"Practice safe sex and call me in the morning."

"I'm not having sex with him, Natalie. Goodbye."

"Yeah, right, keep telling yourself that and call me." I'm not sure that I even remember how to have sex anymore. Maybe it's like riding a bicycle and you never forget how, but I'm not planning on finding that out tonight or anytime soon. I spent more time than normal on my hair and makeup. I have to admit that I look pretty good. I put in the diamond stud earrings that my grandmother left me. Libby and I both got a pair. Next to my mixer and a box of family recipes, they are my prized possession. I wonder if she still has hers. It's funny how different yet alike my sister and I are. Nat says I'm gorgeous, but I've always been a little self-conscious of my looks. Not Libby. She knows she is beautiful and when she walks into a room she owns it. I would rather go unnoticed; get in, get out, do what I need to do, and get back to the safety of the kitchen. That's another reason why I use the image of my grandmother for Mama M's. Well, that and because I miss her every single day. I'm tempted to change back into my comfy clothes and tell Declan that I'm not feeling well when my phone beeps with a new text.

<b>Nat:</b> Don't over think this M. You deserve this :0)

How did she know? _Because she knows you, Emily._ She's right, you do deserve a nice meal with a man who went out of his way to order you special flowers and just said he believes in you. I squared my shoulders, dabbed on another coat of lip gloss and left my room before I could change my mind.

"Christ," Declan said as he quickly drank the last of his wine. "You look amazing, Emily." My mouth hung open as I stared at him. He was the one that looked amazing. He looked like he was freshly showered and was wearing a new suit. The green in his tie that hung loosely around his neck made his eyes look even brighter. I couldn't help myself, I moved forward, and without asking I began to tie the elegant silk into a perfect Windsor knot. Standing this close to him was intoxicating. After straightening the knot, I placed my hands on his lapels. I read romance novels. I've read all about the electric current that surges through two people when they touch. I'm a Californian; I know what earthquakes feel like. This didn't feel like either of those things. This felt like a connection, like I was where I was supposed to be. The corners of Declan's sexy mouth turned up as if he felt it too. I stepped away, and his smile dimmed.

"How did you learn to do that?" He sounded off. Was he angry?

"My father. He said he could never get it right. Personally I think he just told me that so that I would do it for him. It was our special thing."

His smile instantly returned. "I can see why. I could get used to you doing that for me every day." Shit, why does he have to keep saying things like that? Every time he does, I feel my resolve to keep him at a distance weaken.

"What about you? Did you have any special things with your mom or dad when you were growing up?" I miss my daddy. I wish we still had that close relationship we once shared.

"No. Let's go; the car is here." Just like that, the tender Declan with the warm eyes and smile was gone and the cold, heartless bastard that paid me ten bucks for the breakfast I left stood in his place. What did I say?

I quickly followed him to the elevator. Silence filled the air. Yeah, my sweats and the sofa were sounding better and better. The doors opened, and he ushered me toward the waiting car. The night doorman tipped his hat at us and opened the back door to the black town car.

"I can just stay here," I offered.

"Get in the car, Emily. I'm taking you to dinner." His tone wasn't cold, just distant, and his eyes pleaded with me to just get in the car, so I did. Luckily, it was a short ride to the restaurant, and classical music filled the car drowning out some of the awkward silence.

Several photographers snapped our picture as we entered Swayed. They asked what my name was, but neither I nor Declan responded. Declan put his hand on the small of my back, and I instantly felt the connection to him again as he guided me inside. I've never felt this with anyone before; I've never even wanted to. I remind myself that to Declan I'm probably nothing more than a nameless "date" that will appear once on page six with the most eligible bachelor in New York City.

"Good evening, Mr. Hayes. We have your table ready for you." The hostess looked like she wanted to eat him alive. I instantly wanted to kill her. I don't know why I felt so territorial; he wasn't mine in any way, shape, or form. Although, you wouldn't know that by looking at us. He still had one hand on my back, and he never took his eyes off of me while she spoke. I had to let the bitch know that it wasn't okay to ogle someone else's date. I was so distracted by her that I had hardly even taken in the restaurant. Oddly enough, it seemed warm and inviting. I thought it would be stuffy because it's such a popular spot for the who's who of the city. When we arrived at the table he pulled my chair out for me.

"Thank you, darling," I said as he pushed my chair in. Declan is a smart man, and he knew exactly whose benefit I was using the term of affection for.

"Anything for you, my love," he replied as he took my hand and his own seat.

"Your menus." The bitch continued to stare at him as she handed them to us. Maybe he should have a word with his friend about his employee's behavior. "Your waiter will be right with you to take your order. Please let me know if I can do anything else for you, Mr. Hayes." She slowly turned to walk away. I just couldn't let her get away with it. I quickly got up as she began to leave and channeled my inner-bitch.

"Excuse me, miss." She turned back towards our table.

"Yes?" I got close to her ear so that only she could hear.

"Do you see that man?" Of course she did, he was the only thing she had seen since we walked in the door. I didn't wait for her answer. "That man is going home with me tonight." It wasn't a lie. She didn't need to know that we would be sleeping in separate beds. "And I can guarantee he won't be calling out the name—" I looked down at her nametag "—Tasha. The next time you eye-fuck someone else's man you might not be as lucky as to get away with only a warning. Oh, and camel toe isn't a good look on you, sweetie." _Holy shit that felt good_. I triumphantly turned back to the table where Declan had a huge shit-eating grin on his face. Once again he stood and pulled my chair out for me.

"That was incredible. I thought I was going to have to..." He didn't finish, and he had an odd look on his face, but I was still basking in my glory, so I didn't dwell on it.

"You should probably say something to your friend about her behavior."

"My friend? Oh yes, the owner. I will definitely be having a word with him about her. I've never had anyone stand up for me like that." That statement made me feel two things. One, glad that I did it, and two, sad that he didn't have anyone else in his life who would stand up for him. Maybe I could be that person for him.

"Welcome to Swayed. Can I get your drink orders started?" our waiter asked as he poured two glasses of ice water.

"What would you like, love, possibly a lemon drop?" Oh shit. The way he said the combination of the pet name he just used to try a get Tasha to back-off with Matt's name for me had me concerned.

"I think we need a few minutes." Without hesitation, the waiter left us alone, and I promptly drank half my glass of water. Apparently, there was never a dull moment with Declan Hayes.

"I told you this morning Matt is just my friend."

"He called you Lemon Drop." I didn't realize he had heard it. No wonder he seemed so unsure of who Matt is to me.

"It's just Matt. He doesn't call anyone by their name. Not even you." I swear I have diarrhea of the mouth sometimes. Why did I just say that?

"Oh really? Do tell." One thing I knew for sure was that he wasn't just going to let it go. That's not who he is.

"You can't get mad. It's supposed to be funny."

"Funny?" he questioned. "What's funny about Lemon Drop?" Maybe that was a bad choice of words.

"Fine. But you can't get mad. He calls me that because he says I remind him of a martini glass. Tall, with long legs. A narrow waist and a large top." I don't know why but I pointed at my ample cleavage when I said that part. "He says I'm sweet with a little sucker punch." I didn't dare say anything about being easy going down or licking the sugar off the rim of the glass. I'm not even sure if Matt knows that I know that part, but he should know by now that anything he says to Gabe I eventually hear.

"I see, and you said your little friend has a name for me already." _Just kill me now._ My poker face sucks. I can't lie to him. He will know the minute I do.

"An Irish Car Bomb." Instantly, Declan started to laugh. I mean really laugh. People at other tables were turning to see what was so funny. Laughter wasn't the reaction I was expecting, but it was a relief.

"I guess I should be glad he didn't call me a Nutty Irishman," he finally said.

"You did look a little crazy this morning when you came in the kitchen." Not to mentioned edible. I needed a moment to collect my thoughts, so I opened my menu and began to peruse it. Declan never lifted his.

"You aren't going to look at the menu?"

"I know exactly what I want." Well, shit on a shingle, as my grandfather used to say. The look in his eyes told me that he wasn't talking about food. Thank God the waiter returned. I was going to need more water.

"Are you ready to order?" I wasn't nearly ready for any of this. I gulped down the lump that was forming in my throat.

"I'll have what he's having." That put another smile on his face.

"We'll have two of the chef specials and a bottle of the lady's choice."

"But I don't know what we're having. How can I possibly order the wine?" He offered me the wine list. Great, it had no prices in it. Whites were listed on the left and reds were listed on the right.

"I trust you. Anything on the right should serve us well." Damn, now the ice around my heart was melting and leaking out my panties. _Think, think, think._ I thought back to everything I learned in my wine class. Swayed is known for American comfort food. It was obvious by the names that the wines were listed by origin, not price. Picking the bottle at the top of the list would have been the obvious choice if you weren't paying attention. Nothing about this man is simple. I wanted an American wine. I began searching for names that sounded Californian and then I saw it, a name I recognized. It wouldn't be on the list if it wasn't good.

"We will take this bottle." I pointed to the name and quickly shut the list.

"Very good choice." the impressed waiter said with a grin on his face.

"Would it be possible to get a blind tasting?" I asked before the waiter was able to scurry away with our orders. Declan beamed with pride.

"I'm sure we can arrange for that, Miss."

"Thank you."

"Well played, my lovely Lemon Drop." Fuck, the way he said that was so hot. I am so going to get burned by this man.

#

Why does hearing him call me his "lovely Lemon Drop" affect me so much? I downed the rest of my water glass.

"Is it hot in here?" I asked as Declan watched me with a wicked grin on his face, the bastard knew damn well that he was the one making me hot. I tried to focus my attention on my surroundings rather than the beautiful man sitting right across from me. The ceilings were high, and the walls were painted a color that reminded me of coffee with cream, but what really caught my attention were the magnificent black and white photos of New York City that adorned the restaurant walls. They took my breath away.

"Do you see something you like?" I couldn't take my eyes off the images, not even for Declan. I was tempted to get out of my seat so that I could examine them closer when I was forced out of my trance by his curse. "Shite." I looked at him and noticed he didn't look happy. I looked over my shoulder, and a striking brunette woman was heading our way with a decanter filled with wine in her hand. Declan grasped my hands, leaned forward in his chair, and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Emily." He didn't let go.

"Good evening, Declan. I understand you requested a blind tasting." I was immediately on guard once again. Something about the way this woman looked at him and said his name told me that they knew each other well. He didn't take his eyes off me. It was as if he was trying to make me feel like I was the only woman in the restaurant that he could see which was ridiculous because, this woman was absolutely stunning.

"We've been over this, Marissa; I've asked you to call me Mr. Hayes."

"I'm sorry, _Mr. Hayes_ ," she said coldly. "Please forgive me for being so informal, sir." She turned her attention towards me, or should I say our joined hands. "I assume you'll be tasting." I'm not a catty person but for the second time since we got there I wanted to scratch someone's eyes out. Declan squeezed my hands; it was a sweet gesture.

"I thought it would be entertaining to see if Declan could guess what wine I ordered to go with our dinner." Take that, bitch, I get to call him by his first name.

"You let her order?" Her head snapped in his direction with the question.

"That's enough, Marissa. You're making a scene."

"You're right. I quit." Quit? Quit what? Her job? The tasting? She placed the decanter on the table and turned to walk away in a huff.

"Please excuse me," he said as he promptly got up and went after her. What the hell was that about?

The waiter arrived with two salads that looked like an edible work of art. He refilled my water glass. "I'm sure he'll be right back," he assured me. I asked him to pour me a glass of wine, which he did with a warm smile.

I'm not sure how long he was gone, but his tie was loosened when he returned, and my glass was empty. "I'm so sorry about that. I shouldn't have brought you here. I didn't expect that."

He seemed so contrite that it lifted my spirits. "You dated her?" I asked dejectedly, which was crazy because I just met the damn man, and I didn't even want to date.

"I wouldn't call it that exactly, but yes we have some history." How could he have a history with her without dating? Realization dawned on me. He was into casual hookups which are so not my thing.

"She seemed upset with the fact that you let me pick the wine."

"She was."

"Because she's a sommelier, and you never let her pick."

"You are a very smart and beautiful woman, Emily Barnes. Remind me to never try to hide anything from you."

"Trust me I will." This was good. I wouldn't bury my head in the sand like my mother had. Not ever. I poured him a glass of wine and myself another. With our glasses raised I offered up the only Irish I know, "Slawn-cha."

The sound of his robust laugh not only filled the room but my entire being "Where on Earth did a California girl like you learn that?" I couldn't help but laugh too.

"It's all I know, and I'm not even sure what it means. Gabe and Matt are huge soccer fans, so they are constantly dragging us to O'Mary's to watch Manchester United play."

"Well it means good health, and it's called football, not soccer." He took a sip of his wine. "Who's Gabe? Is he your boyfriend?" Again I thought I detected a tinge of jealousy in his voice.

"If I had a boyfriend would I be sitting here eating dinner with you?"

"I would hope not, but it wouldn't be the first time a woman did such a thing." He took another drink and sat back in his chair like he was waiting for more information. What kind of women was he spending time with? Oh, that's right, women like Marissa.

"Gabe and Natalie are my best friends—she was my roommate in college. They are getting married on New Year's Eve." This seemed to appease him.

"I can't say much for your taste in football teams, but the 2009 Pruett Syrah was an excellent choice." Impressive. "I'm surprised you don't watch Manchester at Pound and Pence."

"We used to, but they asked Nat not to come back. I didn't say it was my team; I just go for the cold beer and the company. How did you know the exact wine I picked?"

"It's what I do." His answer wasn't smug or conceited, just honest. "I'm intrigued. What exactly could your friend have done to get kicked out of the rowdiest English pub in the city?"

"You'll have to hear it from Nat. It's not my story to tell, and besides, she tells it much better than I do anyway."

"Fair enough." The idea of him meeting the rest of my friends did strange things to me. "What beer do you drink, and who's your team?" His ease with everything amazes me. He wears suits that are worth more than my entire wardrobe, yet he rolls up his sleeves and cooks muffins. He makes million-dollar deals, but he drinks beer and watches soccer—I mean _football_. I wanted to know everything about him.

"Are you a sommelier like Marissa?" I couldn't help but sneer when I said her name. I didn't like her or the fact that she had a past with Declan. I knew that he wasn't. I had read an article in the business journal on how his love for wine had led to the addition of a new division at his company.

"No, I just really like drinking it. I'm more of a wine broker." He was very humble, which surprised me. It was refreshing like the Syrah.

"Hayes." A man in a chef's coat greeted us as he reached our table with two plates in hands. Holy shit, does everyone that Declan knows look like a model?

"Wheels." Our plates were put down, and the men greeted each other with what Gabe likes to call a "bro hug". It was nice to see Declan with his friend. I don't know why, but I got the feeling that he didn't have many.

"This must be, Emily." Fuck. It was a good thing I was sitting down otherwise I would have just fallen over. He already told his friend about me? "She's even more beautiful than you said." Wheels flashed his dimples at me, and I swear Declan's beautiful green eyes blazed. He kissed the top of my hand. "Relax, Dec. I'm not after your girl. I'm not that stupid." His girl? His lovely Lemon Drop? Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

"You better not be. Emily, this is Logan Wheeler, my best friend for the time being."

"Ouch, that hurts. You just met her, and you're dumping me already. Some friend you are." Clearly the two men knew each other well, and it was fun to watch them banter. "Do you have any single friends?"

"Will you let us eat in peace? Maybe next time you see her you can ask her about her friends." Again the idea that this wasn't a one-time event made my heart race.

"Emily it was a pleasure meeting you. I hope you enjoy your meal, and I look forward to seeing you again. Bon appétit."

"Thank you, Logan. I look forward to it too." The plate before me looked and smelled divine. I couldn't wait to taste it. Logan left us to enjoy our meal, and Declan waited with baited breath as I took my first bite. The loin of lamb was paired with a variety of roasted vegetables and rosemary mashed potatoes. I closed my eyes after I took my first mouthful and put my knife and fork down. I wanted to savor every bite.

"Well?" Declan seemed both nervous and excited to know what I thought.

"It's the best thing I've ever eaten. Heaven in my mouth." He smiled and then began to eat.

"You never answered my question about your team and beer."

This man makes me feel like he really wants to know more about me. Like he cares. I don't date a lot, but it always seems that the guy has one thing one his mind—the end of the night and what he will get out of it. Declan doesn't make me feel like that at all.

I wiped my mouth and took another sip of my wine before answering. "I like Sunderland, and I'm not much of a Guinness fan, but I do like O'Hara's Stout."

"But Irish Car Bombs are made with Guinness," he playfully complained. "And Sunderland is the worst in the league."

"Look, anyone can be a fair-weather fan. We've won six division titles, and we will be on top again one day." I blushed at my choice of words.

"It sounds like Gabe and Matt aren't the only football fans. I have no doubt that you will be on top very soon." Shit, it's hot in here again.

"Tell me more about your work." I tried to change the topic of conversation to something safer.

"I want to know more about you. How did you end up in New York, and when did you start Mama M's?"

"Let's just say that I needed some space from my family. New York was about as far away from California as I could get without leaving the country, and I fell in love with the city when my grandparents brought my sister and me here when we were kids. I always dreamed of coming back, so that's what I did."

"You went to NYU?" he asked.

"This isn't fair. What if, for every question you get, I get one in return?"

"You really haven't already learned more than you ever needed to know about me online?"

How sad was that? Instantly, I knew I needed to tell Nat to stop researching him. How would I feel if he got to know me about reading my profile online or from some kind of background check? I wouldn't like it at all. Declan deserves better. I decided at that moment to spend some time to really get to know the enigma sitting across from me.

Our plates were cleared, and a single dessert with two spoons was set in the center of the table. It looked scrumptious. The thought of him sharing dessert like this with Marissa crossed my mind and upset me. I know I had no right, but it did.

"I never order dessert. We can order something else if you like." That put a smile back on my face.

"No, this is perfect, but I think this place has an identity problem."

"Oh really?" Declan asked with raised brows.

"Well, yes. The vegetables in the main dish were basically ratatouille and crème brûlée is French too."

"Interesting." He tapped his spoon before taking a bite of the decadent custard.

"What is?"

"The way you see things. The vegetables were roasted, and this is basically pudding with a hard caramel on top. Tell me, what nationality are you, Emily Barnes?"

"Okay, I can see your point. I'm Melting pot, or American mutt as my mother once told me, and it's not just pudding," I said as I savored the smooth cream.

"No, it's not. It's the best pudding in the city."

"What makes it the best?" I asked more like a dare.

"I'd say it's the waiting list for reservations and the price tag."

"That's an interesting view you have, Mr. Hayes," I threw his words back at him. "Some of the best things in life are free."

"I kind of like this view," he said without taking his eyes off me.

"I'm serious, Declan. Look at that photo. Do you know how many times I've walked past that very building?" I pointed toward the photo on the wall. "I never noticed those details, but the photographer saw something that I just missed. Sometimes you don't see the things that are right in front of you. Sometimes you need to look at things from a different angle."

"Really? You see all of that in that photo?" His tone changed, and I thought I detected a hint of pride in his voice. His gorgeous green eyes seemed to brighten, and his smile widened.

"I'll never see that building the same. If I could, I'd thank the photographer for showing me what I've been missing."

His smile was contagious. He took my hands in his, and I felt that connection again. "I like seeing things through your eyes, Emily. Will you show me what else I've been missing?"

"I'd love to." It didn't escape me that a bill was never brought before we left Swayed. "Does Logan own the restaurant?" I asked as we exited.

"Uhm, no, but he is a partner. Did you enjoy it?" Declan helped me with my coat that we had checked upon our arrival and then put on his own.

"Very much." We hit the sidewalk, and I noticed the car waiting for us. "It's a beautiful night. Would you mind if we walk, and maybe I could show you something you've probably just walked by before."

He took my hand. "I'll go anywhere with you, Lemon Drop." My heart actually skipped a beat. He signaled to our driver that we would be walking.

"You're sticking with that then?" I never really liked it when Matt called me that, but with Declan I loved it.

"As much as I hate to admit it, I think Matt's right. It suits you. Refreshing, sweet, and just a little deceptive." I tried to pull my hand away causing him to hold it even tighter. I have been nothing but honest. "Not like that. I just mean that you kind of snuck up on me. You're intoxicating in the best possible way, Emily." I relaxed, and we continued to walk hand in hand.

"We're here," I announced as we got in line on the sidewalk at the entrance to the park with the rest of the crowd that was assembled.

"Are you sure about this?" Declan looked unsure, but I knew without a doubt all his concerns would dissolve with just one taste.

"I'm positive, don't be so hoity-toity." We stepped forward, and I ordered through the window of the truck for us. "I've got this," I said as Declan reached for his wallet. I was tempted to say something about the ten dollars he had left in payment for the muffins this morning but decided just to let it go. Instead, I stuffed the six dollars change into the tip jar.

"Thank you. Come back again."

We walked away from the food truck and stopped when we were away from the crowd. "Open up," I demanded as I lifted the single spoon I held in my hand. I never thought feeding someone was sensual before now. He licked his lips and then opened his sexy mouth allowing me to feed him the mouthful of deliciousness that I held before him.

"Bloody hell that's good. That's better than Wheeler's." With a satisfied smile, I took a bite of the best crème brûlée in the city. A flash of heat coursed through my body as I was consumed with thoughts of my mouth being wrapping around the spoon that had just been in his mouth.

"Welcome to my world, Mr. Hayes." Why did it suddenly seem like everything in that world was about to change forever?

"Thank you for tonight, Emily," Declan said as he held my hand while we strolled back toward the apartment. "Most women would have been pissed off at me for the hostesses' behavior, not to mention the Marissa drama."

"You didn't do anything to encourage the hostess and as far as Marissa..." What could I say? It isn't as if we are in a relationship or anything.

"She obviously misunderstood my feelings for her," he replied before I could come up with something to say. "I shouldn't have left you when she stormed off." I couldn't argue with that. "She happens to be very good at her job, and I didn't want my poor judgment to affect the restaurant. It was a mistake, one that I won't be making again. Please forgive me. This is all new to me." What's new to him? Dating? Is that what we are doing?

"She's very beautiful." He stopped walking, turned to face me, and took my other hand in his.

"Like you said, I guess that depends on your perspective because from my view, I'm with the most beautiful woman in the world tonight." The blush on my cheeks had nothing to do with the cold temperature. I lowered my head, embarrassed by his compliment. He is beyond beautiful, and for him to use that word on me is arguable.

He let go of my hand and tipped my chin up. "Don't do that. Don't hide from me. You have no idea how stunning you are." He pushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear and stepped closer to me. "I have to kiss you now." Had to? Funny, I felt exactly the same way. His kiss was tentative at first as if he was seeking my permission. When I didn't protest, his tongue caressed my lips, and I opened my mouth. My hands went to his hair, and he moaned when I tugged at it. Call it cliché, but it was like one of those perfect moments like you see on the silver screen. Snow began to fall lightly, and my foot popped, just like in the movies. I was tempted to wrap my legs around him but was quickly reminded that we were standing on a city street when a car drove by and honked at us. We pulled apart breathlessly. "I guess I should get you home." Home? What would that mean when we got back to the apartment? He grasped my hand, and we continued our walk in comfortable silence.

When we walked into the apartment, I had so many things I wanted to ask, but I suddenly had no words. He took my coat from me and then walked me to my room. I don't think I have ever been so nervous in my life. As tempting as it is to fall into bed with this man, it's not who I am. Call me old-fashioned, but I don't put out on the first date.

He opened my bedroom door for me and then pulled me close to his body. He lowered his head so that we were forehead to forehead. "Thank you, Lemon Drop, for an incredible evening. I hope it is the first of many more to come." He placed a kiss on the end of my nose and then offered me the sweetest kiss ever. "Sweet dreams, my lovely." With that, he let go of my hand, stepped out of my room, and closed the door. His tender kiss and endearing words left me in a pile of mush. I kicked off my heels and slid down my door. I opened my purse and looked at my phone. I knew that Nat was anxiously awaiting a call or text from me and that if I didn't check in soon that she would send out the Calvary—otherwise known as Gabe and Matty—to find me.

<b>Me</b>: Best date ever!

<b>Nat</b>: I told you it was a date! I want all the juicy details tomorrow

<b>Me</b>: Goodnight Nat

I bumped my head against the door which caused a thumping noise. "Emily, are you okay?" The sound of Declan's voice so nearby startled me. Maybe I wasn't the only one that was so effected by our night.

"I'm fine," I squeaked. "Goodnight, Declan. Sleep well."

I got ready for bed with a huge smile on my face. My dreams were filled with green eyes and brilliant white smiles. For once, the early morning beep of my alarm clock was unwelcome.

"Shit!" I cursed as I stumbled into the kitchen only to find Matt wrapping the muffin trays while Declan watched. My eyes were instantly glued to the man that had starred in my dreams last night. He was wearing a pair of pajama pants with a white V-neck undershirt. I kind of missed the treat of him in just his boxers that I got yesterday, but at least today Matt and Declan weren't having a pissing contest.

"Look who finally made it out of bed, Sleeping Beauty," Matty teased.

"Sorry."

"That's OK; ICB and I were just getting to know one another." I glanced over at Declan, and thankfully he seemed amused at the use of his new nickname.

"Good morning, Lemon Drop," Declan offered with a kiss to my cheek as he handed me a travel mug of delicious smelling coffee. Matt raised his eyebrow but continued to work.

"I'll take these down to the truck." He pushed the carts into the elevator, and the doors closed behind him.

"Thank you," I said as I raised the mug to my mouth.

"I wish you didn't have to go so early. I shouldn't have kept you up so late last night."

"It's fine. I'm used to this. I'll catch a nap when I get back later." It didn't escape me that my drink was made just the way I like it. "How did you know how I like it?"

"I didn't. I just made it sweet like you." Was I still dreaming?

"I really need to go. Thank you again for last night." I placed my hand on his cheek. His stubble was just as tempting as his clean shave. This time I kissed him, and as I left the apartment, the only thing on my mind was going back to bed, but this time I didn't want to be alone.

"Somebody is smitten," Matt teased as he drove toward Greta's.

"What? Are you like five years old, Matt?"

"Who said I was talking about you? That guy has it bad for you, Lemon Drop." He stressed the name that he had given me.

"You're not mad are you?"

"No, Emily. We all just want you to be happy. If the ICB can do that, then that's good enough for me, but if he hurts you, I'll kick his ass."

"Thanks, Matt." Once again, we were done early. I had to remind Matt that my current living arrangements were temporary. I really needed to start looking for a new apartment.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yep, same spot as usual." He kissed me goodbye on the cheek and got in his truck.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeek," Nat screeched as Matt drove away from the crowded delivery dock. "Oh my God, you look different. Did you have sex last night?"

"God, Nat, keep it down." Unlike my shameless BFF, I didn't want everyone hearing about my sex life or lack thereof. She handed me my coffee once we sat down at the tables at the center of the market.

 "No, I didn't sleep with him. You know me better than that." She thrust one of the cups toward me. I took the lid off the mug Declan had given me and refilled the cup.

"Tell me everything," she demanded as I sipped the drink that was nowhere as good as the one that Declan had made me earlier. I told her everything. I swear she was ready to head to Swayed to kick some ass for me when I finished my recount of the night's events. "You like him, Emily. I can hear it in your voice.

"He seems so perfect, Nat, but then he says things that confuse me."

"Like?"

"He asked me to forgive him and said this was all new to him, and Marissa acted like she was a jealous ex or something. I don't understand it. When I asked him if they dated, he said they had a "history" but that he wouldn't call it dating."

"Maybe they just bumped fuzzies in the wine cellar."

"Did you really just say that?"

"What would you like me to say? They shagged, boinked, screwed, banged, humped, or fucked? Take your pick."

"How much time a day do you spend on Urban Dictionary?"

"What has my bride to be said now? Do I need to wash her mouth out?" Gabe asked as he approached us. It was sweet that my two best friends were checking up on me.

"Oh, baby, you know you love this dirty little mouth."

"God, do you two need a room?" I asked as they practically began to maul each other. "I need to grab a few things and head back to the apartment for a nap."

"Is that code for something else?" Gabe asked. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him.

"No, Gabe. I really need to go back to the apartment and get a few hours of sleep so that I can get ready for tomorrow."

"Okay, but don't forget about me, and it's not too late to change your mind about coming to my parents tomorrow. You know the invitation is always open."

"It's all good, and I could never forget about you." We said our goodbyes and I left.

I'm not sure if I walked or floated into the apartment. After placing my grocery bags in the kitchen, I headed back to bed. A fresh arrangement of flowers was on sitting on the nightstand. I was thankful that I had taken the time to remove one of the Bachelor Button's from the arrangement to dry before I left. The faint scent of apple filled the room. The flowers were delicate and varied in color from white to pink. I quickly opened the card and read.

To the promise of more to come – Dec

As much as I loved looking at his script and his words, I wanted to see if I had been given any clue as to what the flowers were. If not I would be calling the florist again. I flipped it over and written on the back were the words "Apple Blossom". Thank you, Jasmine's Garden.

I got out my phone and began my search to find that Apple Blossoms signify promise, which was exactly what Declan had said in his card. The second site I saw listed the biblical significance of the apple, the symbol of forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. Was Declan trying to warn me that he was a temptation that would ultimately lead me to disappointment? _Stop it, Emily. It's time to live in the moment,_ I chastised myself. Would it be so bad to let Declan in? To take a chance on someone other than myself?

After my nap, I made a sandwich and then got to work in the kitchen making Thanksgiving pies.

"No muffins today?" I once again jumped at the sound of his sultry voice.

"Fuck!" I yelled as I sliced my finger with the knife I was yielding to cut apples. I rushed to the sink to survey the damage to my bleeding finger.

"Oh shit, Emily. I'm so sorry I scared you. I'm such a caffler." Beside me, he instantly began checking my injury and then quickly covered it with a towel and raised it above my head.

"I'm fine, Dec. It's nothing." I began to laugh. "What the hell is a caffler?"

"You called me, Dec," he said as he pushed a wayward hair out of my face. I hadn't even noticed I had done it.

"It's how you signed your cards." He never let go of my hand, but his frantic pace slowed, and his smile grew. "You didn't answer my question."

"It means idiot. I should know how jumpy you are. You could have seriously hurt yourself." He checked my finger again. The bleeding had stopped. He let go of me and disappeared into the pantry only to return moments later with a first-aid kit. He lifted me onto the countertop and stood between my legs. With the utmost of care, he placed a Band-Aid on my finger before kissing it. "To make it better."

"That definitely helps. Thank you, and you're not an idiot."

"Give me your phone," he demanded.

"Why?"

"So that I can text you when I'm on my way up. Maybe then I won't scare the cac out of you."

"Cac? Where do you come up with this shit?" I handed him my phone, and he entered something as I laughed at my own joke.

"Are you making fun of my Irish roots, Lemon Drop?" He handed me back my phone and then moved away from me to put the kit away. I missed his proximity instantly, and I wished he had kissed more than just my finger.

"Never." I put my hands up in surrender as he began to walk back toward me. He pulled his beeping phone out.

"Please excuse me. That's a message that I've been waiting for." I loved the gleam he had in his eyes as he began to text. Seconds after he finished my phone chimed.

<B>ICB</B>: Me too. I'd love to for you to open my eyes to new possibilities. I'll pick you up at seven.

"What exactly have I gotten myself into?" I asked playfully as I scrolled down to read my message to him. It was adorable that he had put his contact name in as his new moniker, but I didn't want to call him that.

<b>Me</b>: I had a great night. I'd love to show you what else you've been missing. Are you busy tonight?

I couldn't resist. I quickly changed his contact name from ICB to Dec because I liked the way his eyes lit up when I said the shortened version of his name and sent him another text.

<b>Me</b>: Let's stay home tonight instead.

God, I wanted to kiss him so badly.

<b>Dec</b>: I can't think of anywhere else I would rather be.

#

It was probably out of line. I am just a guest staying in his parents' home. We've been out once. I regretted it as soon as I hit the send button. Shit, I'm a caffler now. What was I thinking by suggesting that we stay "home"? Although, his quick response did make me feel somewhat optimistic.

He put his arms around me. "Hey, I told you not to do that. Don't hide from me, Emily. I love that you say what's on your mind. It's sexy as hell, and I'm glad that you are here. I look forward to you being here when I walk in the door. For once it makes this place feel like a real home." What did that mean?

"I like it too," I admitted as I looked into his beautiful eyes.

"What are you baking? It smells delicious as always, by the way."

"Pies for tomorrow."

"I didn't know Greta sold pies."

"She doesn't. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, silly."

"Oh yeah, I had totally forgotten." How could someone forget the traditional family holiday?

"Don't you have plans for tomorrow?" I loved the fact that he still held me in his strong arms like it was right where I belonged.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Just headed into the office I guess. It's amazing how much you can get done when everyone else has the day off." I was saddened that such an amazing man had no plans to be with family or friends. I couldn't let that happen. True, I was planning on eating alone myself, but that was by choice, and I was also spending time with my friends continuing our holiday traditions in the morning.

"Change of plans. You are spending the day with me. Now go and change into something more comfortable."

"You're a bossy little thing, Miss Barnes."

"I warned you, sweet with a little sucker punch, remember?"

"How could I forget, Lemon Drop?" Just like last night, he placed a kiss on the end of my nose before letting me go.

"I'll be right back." With wobbly knees and a smile on my face, I returned to my cutting board. I don't know how long he was gone, but I missed him straightaway.

<b>Dec</b>: I'm coming back to the kitchen

_Smartass!_ Declan came into the kitchen with an unopened bottle of wine wearing a pair of low-hanging sweat pants and a tight-fitting white t-shirt. The man looks simply delectable in anything he wears.

"Wine?" he asked with a wry smile. I had to remind myself to close my mouth. My grandmother would surely remind me of flies getting in if she were here. Then again, she would probably be saying how handsome Declan is too.

I took the bottle from him. "I believe _I_ asked _you_ out tonight," I teased.

"That you did."

"Well, in that case, tonight we're drinking and eating on _my_ budget, not yours." I placed the bottle on the counter and removed two bottles of beer from the refrigerator. They were meant to be a gift for Gabe for tomorrow, but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, and I was still making him "his pie". He gave me an approving smile as I poured our bottles of Belgian ale into glasses that were in the chiller. "I ordered while you were changing. I hope you like pizza."

"Well pie does seem to be the theme for the night," he said as he glanced around the kitchen. Baking here is pure bliss. The granite countertops are perfect for rolling out dough, and the commercial ovens allow for getting a lot done fast. I would do anything for a kitchen like this.

I handed him his beer and raised my glass. I thought for a moment before I used his own words on him. "To the promise of more to come."

"To more," he agreed as our glasses came together. "Exactly how many pies are you baking?"

"Two each of three different kinds. I'm not a big fan of pumpkin, but Greta said you're fond of my pumpkin spice muffins, so I made pumpkin for you. I hope you like it."

"You made pumpkin specifically for me?" He seemed shocked.

"Well, I didn't know what you would like. Gabe loves my caramel apple pie, so I had to make it for him, and Thanksgiving just wouldn't be the same to me without my Grandmother's pecan pie. I can make you something else if you don't want pumpkin."

"Are you kidding me?"" Abruptly he moved toward me and took my beer out of my hand. He sat both glasses down on the counter. "Nobody has ever done anything like that for me. You amaze me, Emily Barnes." His lips crashed down on me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me close and wrapped his arms around my waist. The kiss was almost desperate as if he was trying to tell me exactly how much my simple gesture had meant to him. If this was my reward, I would make him a pie every day of my life. As much as I didn't want to, I was quickly falling for Declan Hayes, which made no sense since that was the last thing I was interested in doing.

The sound of the house phone ringing interrupted our kiss.

"That must be the pizza," he grumbled as he pulled away from me. My arms felt empty without him as he said, "Thanks, Billy. Send him up," into the phone.

"Let me grab my purse."

"I've got it, Emily," he said in a tone I had heard him use on the phone the first night we had met and when he had reminded Marissa to call him Mr. Hayes. It was the tone of a powerful man who wasn't about to take no for an answer about paying for a pizza, or anything for that matter. It was hot.

I heard him exchange words with the delivery guy as I removed the final two pies from the oven.

"I'll have to admit, I was a little bit worried when you said you ordered pizza."

I sat at the breakfast bar. "Oh really? Do tell." He put down the box and immediately the room was filled with my second favorite smell in the world—best pie in Gotham. Until a few days ago it was my _favorite_ smell, but it moved to second the first time I got a whiff of the delicious man now sitting beside me.

He raised his eyebrow. "We New Yorker's are pretty passionate about our pie," he said dropping his Irish accent for a thick New York one. It made me giggle like a school-girl.

"Trust me, I know. I'll have to admit, one of the reasons I finally agreed to stay here is because it's within Lombardi's delivery area."

"God, you're the perfect woman. You eat real food; enjoy good beer, as well as fine wine, you're beautiful and smart." My heart fluttered. Hearing those words as I sank my teeth into the smoky crust with the fresh mozzarella sent my body on fire. I couldn't help but close my eyes and moan. "Mutts Nutts," he cursed as he squirmed in his seat beside me. I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn't. Knowing he was feeling something too just excited me further.

I had no idea what he said, but it didn't matter. "Do you ever curse in English?" I teased.

"Rarely. It was the only way I could get away with it when I was a kid, and I guess it just kind of stuck."

I giggled. "I know exactly what you mean; my sister and I had code words. Only we knew what they meant. Our parents thought we were crazy. What about your parents?"

Suddenly he tensed. What was it about his parents? "We're not close," he said in his business tone.

"I'm sorry, Declan." And I was. True, things had changed when my parents divorced, but Libby and I always felt loved, and we always had each other. "Are you an only child?" I don't know why I asked a question I already knew the answer to.

"Yes." Something about his answer seemed off. "Are all of your pies done?" _OK, I guess we were done talking about his family._

"Yeah." How had the heat that had radiated between us turned icy cold with one simple question about his parents?

"Let's take this into the family room and watch a movie." He got up, and I stayed in my seat unsure of how I felt about the change in his demeanor. He had a look of worry on his face. "If that's all right with you, since you are the one that asked me out, after all." Just like that, my Declan was back. _My_ Declan? _Shit!_ I had to stop thinking of him like that. Yes, I'm attracted to him. Who wouldn't be? But, I was thinking things and feeling things nobody should ever feel after just three days of knowing someone.

"A movie sounds great," I said as I stood and grabbed two more beers from the fridge. While I sat down on the sofa, he looked through the vast collection of DVDs that were housed next to the giant television.

Declan seemed thrilled with his choice as he joined me on the couch. It was an older film, starring a sexy career bank robber and an equally attractive female US Marshall. We finished our pizza and beers, and then I found myself cuddled up next to him. It just felt right, and it wasn't because of the worn leather and cashmere blanket.

As the two main characters, played by George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez, sat at a hotel bar, she alluded to him playing a game. He insisted it wasn't. She asked if "this" made sense to him—"this" being whatever it was happening between them. The funny thing was, that's exactly the same question I had for Declan. It's often said that life imitates art, and, in this case, I decided to adapt art to my life. Sometimes things just happen. You don't plan for them, but somehow you just know it's right. It's almost like you recognize it. You can't deny it or make sense of it, if you do, you'll always question it. You will always remember that feeling and wonder why you let it pass you by. Life is full of "what if" moments. This was certainly one of mine. Was I willing to miss out on something because it didn't make sense? Because it happened too quickly, or because it didn't fit in with what I believed my life should be? The answer was simple: No.

He told her that, "It'd be worth the risk," and I knew that Declan was too, so I took one. A big one. I turned off the movie and straddled his lap.

His hands went to my hips, and my hands tangled in his hair. I kissed him with urgency as I ground my body against his. I could feel his hard length against me.

"Emily," he said breathlessly when he pushed me away. "You have to stop now, or I won't be able to.

"I don't want to stop. I want you Declan." No sooner had I said it then his lips were on mine. Effortlessly, he rose from the sofa with me wrapped around him. He carried me to his bedroom and carefully placed me on his bed. Heat radiated between us yet my skin was covered in goosebumps. He hovered over me and looked deep into my eyes as if asking me for permission once again. I reminded myself not to let this moment pass me by, and I reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, and then he did the same thing to mine. With a Cheshire grin, he unhooked the front clasp of my bra.

"Beautiful," he murmured before he buried his face in my chest. Never in my life had I been so desperate to have a man inside of me, but Declan appeared to be in no rush. It was like I was a fine meal, and he wanted to appreciate every bite, every taste. And taste, he did.

He kissed along the line of my panties from hip to hip. I bucked against him, seeking more. The bastard cackled. The lace was soaked, and I nearly came from him sucking and licking on my tits alone. He was driving me to the edge, and he knew it. I thought for sure his next move would be to strip me bare, but instead he lowered his face to my crotch and inhaled deeply. If I hadn't been so turned on, I would have been embarrassed.

"I didn't think it was possible, but that smells better than the kitchen when you are baking." Before I could respond, he clamped down on me right through the soaked fabric, and I fell apart.

"Oh God," I screamed and before the waves of the most intense orgasm I have ever experienced subsided he finally divested me of my underwear and entered me. If I were into music and had to describe Declan's love making skills, I would probably say something cheesy like he played me like an instrument. That each move was a note, and each note together made for a perfect melody. But, I'm a baker, so let's just say he whipped me to firm peaks and then folded us together until we were perfectly blended. My legs began to quiver, so I squeezed them tighter around him. I clawed at his back, desperate to take him with me. I felt him begin to throb inside of me and screamed—yes screamed—his name as we both came.

He collapsed on top of me. "That was incredible, Emily." Tenderly, he kissed me before he pulled out of me. I missed him instantly. "I'll be right back." I heard the telltale sign of him removing a condom as the bed dipped. _Oh shit!_ How could I have been so stupid? So reckless. I rolled over on my side; at least one of us had been thinking clearly.

Minutes later he returned, wearing just a pair of boxers and a smile. He had something in his hand. His face fell the moment he saw me. He sat on the edge of the bed and caressed the side of my face with the back of his hand before he leaned forward and kissed the end of my nose. Every time he did that it made me feel so cherished. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I feel so stupid. I didn't even ask you about protection. I just got so caught up in the moment." He kissed me again.

"Let me clean you up." The tenderness he showed me as he wiped me with the hot wash cloth that he held in his hand made me feel so....? _Loved? Oh, shit._

He tossed the cloth on the floor and climbed onto the bed behind me. He pulled me as close to him as possible. "Please don't do this. I had it covered."

"Pun intended?"

"Yes. It's just as much my responsibility as it is yours, and I liked that you got lost in the moment. I just hope it's a moment that you would like to repeat."

"Yes, sir," I teased, and I instantly felt him harden against my backside. _Holy hell._

#

His scent filled my nose as I startled awake. I was sprawled across his bare chest. Oh shit, I'm probably drooling. I tried to move off of him, but his arm clamped down on me.

"Stay with me." It was a plea, and I got the feeling he wasn't just asking me to stay for now. A chill ran through me. I don't know if it was because of his words or the sound of his sexy morning voice. Either way, I didn't mind.

"I'd love to stay here all day, but we really need to get going if you're still planning on spending the day with me."

"Don't you ever sleep in?" he grumbled against the top of my head but I could tell he was smiling.

"Mondays, because Greta's is closed, now we need to get going." I sat up. "Wear something comfortable and warm. We are going to be outside. And good walking shoes."

"Do we have time to go to my apartment? I really don't have much here. I wasn't planning on being here very long." A dagger pierced my heart—this wasn't his home, and he had no reason to stay here once the repairs at his place were done. _He has his own apartment and life_ , I reminded myself. Suddenly feeling very vulnerable, I pulled the sheet from the bed and wrapped it around myself. "OK, but we need get moving." I fled from his room; I was being a stupid girl.

<b>Me</b>: Change of plans. We will meet you at the hotel.

<b>Nat</b>: We? Hell yes! I expect details, biotch!

I piled my hair on top of my head and jumped into the shower, trying not to overthink things as I quickly got ready. Declan was waiting for me in the kitchen when I emerged. He had two travel mugs in hand and looked as handsome as ever in his gray slacks and crisp white dress shirt.

"Ready?" he asked as if he was unsure of how I was going to react. I couldn't blame him with the way I had left him earlier.

"Ready." We rode to the lobby in silence, drinking our coffee. His car and driver were waiting for us. He took my hand in his once we were safely inside the warm car.

"How did you do that?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"Get your car and driver here so fast? You make everything look so easy."

"It comes with a price, Lemon Drop." _Perspective_. I reminded myself that things are not always what they seem; and just because things look easy for Declan, it doesn't mean they are. I didn't respond with words, but I held his hand a little tighter.

"We're here," he said as we pulled up to the brick building on Eleventh Avenue. "It's called the Lifesaver building; they used to make mints here." I loved the fact that he knew the history of his building.

"No wonder why you're at Greta's so much." The apartment was a quick walk to the market. The elevator took us to the fifth floor. I was kind of surprised it didn't take us to the top. Declan was grinning from ear to ear.

"She has the muffins I love." For a girl that isn't interested in hearts and flowers, I was surprised to find myself hopeful that he would come to love more than just my muffins.

"We're going to have to hurry. We need to get to the hotel."

"You still haven't told me what we are doing, and now we are having clandestine meetings at hotels."

"It's not a secret; it's just a surprise. I promise you will have fun." I was so excited to be sharing this with him.

He opened the door to his apartment and motioned for me to go ahead. It was beautiful; early morning light reflected off the Hudson which was visible from the large windows. I loved the open floor plan with the hardwood floors, cast-iron columns, and exposed brick walls. If I had dreamed of the perfect place to live, this would be it.

"I'll be right back. Make yourself at home." His furniture looked expensive but comfortable. An oversized chair sat in the corner next to the window, and I could imagine myself curled up with a good book and a glass of wine. The kitchen boasted black granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. I got lost in thoughts of sharing this place with him.

"How's this?" He wore the perfect pair of distressed jeans, and I'm not talking about faux distress. These jeans were made for him and had been worn well. He had on a red and white plaid flannel shirt with a t-shirt peeking out from underneath. Other than his sweats last night, I have never seen him so look casual. It made him look so young and carefree. For the life of me I couldn't remember his age.

"How old are you?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"I'm twenty-seven," he said as he shrugged into a charcoal-gray pea coat. "How old are you?"

"Didn't your mother teach you to never ask a lady that?" He tensed, and his smile faded, but it returned quickly when I held out my hand to his. What is it with his family? He always grows so cold and distant when they come up. I always thought Maggie's complaints were just because they are her employer. How many people do you know that don't complain about their boss or co-workers? I'm really beginning to re-think that assumption.

He shook his head. "So, it's okay for you to ask but not me. That's a double standard."

"I'm twenty-three. Just don't ask me how much I weigh," I teased.

"I've already seen you naked. You're perfect, and I'm not stupid." He grabbed what looked to be a camera bag as we left the apartment.

We entered the elevator. "I thought you were having renovations done." I had expected to find a construction zone at this apartment, but it was in perfect condition. "The place looked great to me."

He didn't answer my question. "You liked it? I should have given you the full tour. Next time." It warmed my heart to hear he wanted to have me back in his home again.

"It's amazing. When are you moving back?" I couldn't imagine staying at his parents' place without him. I didn't know them, but I didn't have a very good impression of them, and the apartment would be empty without him. I didn't want him to leave.

"Trying to get rid of me already?"

"No." Would he read too much into it if I told him I dreaded it?

Because it was still early and a holiday, traffic was light. We made good time to the hotel, but we were still running late. We held hands as we made our way to the staging area. I was so excited to share this experience with Declan.

"Emily, you're late, and who is this tall drink of water?" Kiki has no shame.

I turned to look at him. "Just go with me on this."

"Sorry, Kiki. This is...." Shit, how do I introduce him? It pained me to think of him as only my friend, but boyfriend didn't seem right either. Would he be upset if I introduced him by his first name?

As if he could sense my uncertainty he jumped in. "Declan. It must be my lucky day to be surrounded by such beauty." He took his free hand in hers and kissed it.

"Charmed, I'm sure, but you know the rules, darling. He can't be here." I knew this was a risk, but I thought I could literally pull some strings. You need to be an employee, be related to an employee, or be sponsored by an employee to volunteer for the parade, and then you need to be trained. As soon as I saw my first live parade I knew I had to be a part of it. Convincing Nat to get a part-time job with me wasn't difficult once I told her we would get employee discounts. We've volunteered every year since. We aren't employees anymore, but since we know everyone, finding a sponsor is a piece of cake.

"I was hoping I could just take pictures. I have a friend who works at The Post." Declan opened up his bag and took out an impressive camera. Oh, he is good. "Can I get some of you in action?" he asked with a wink. Kiki practically melted, and before I knew it, Declan was given a costume so he could walk with us and was snapping pictures like crazy. We finally made it outside where we met up with Nat, Gabe, and Matt. Matt and Gabe greeted Declan like they were old friends, and Nat was almost as bad as Kiki with the way she swooned over him. Seeing how well he fit in with them did things to my heart.

"That was amazing. Thank you so much for including me." The smile he wore was infectious. "Your friends are great."

"Yeah, and we got the perfect spot this year." I was so excited that we got to make it back to the square in time to see the end of the parade.

"Should I be jealous of the old guy in the red suit?" he teased as he took my hand. Alone for the first time since handing off the pies to my friends, he took my hand as we walked toward the subway station. I liked the way he playfully teased me.

 "Should I be jealous of Kiki?" Our laughter filled the air. I loved the sound of it and this jovial fun side of this complicated man.

"I have another confession to make." His earlier confession had been that he had never seen much less been to the parade, but he always wanted to. Apparently his parents' idea of an enjoyable Thanksgiving had always been spending it somewhere tropical with no turkey in sight. Drama and all. Hearing that made me grateful for my family.

"What's that?" I asked with a raised brow as I purchased our tickets.

"I've never been on the subway before." I put my hands up to my face to cover my surprise when he continued. "You're making two of my childhood dreams come true today." The revelation just about broke my heart. How could his parents have deprived him of something so simple that seemed to mean so much to him? At that moment, I wanted to make all of his dreams come true. I couldn't express it in words, so I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the shit out of him.

We rode the number six train toward the Brooklyn Bridge in comfortable silence as Declan seemed to take in everything around us. We got off on Spring Street and then walked the short distance to the mission. I suddenly felt nervous as we stood in front of the "skid row" building.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked tenderly as he looked into my eyes like he was searching for answers.

"I should have asked you if you were OK with this."

"I'm sure you have a reason for bringing me here. I'm fine with anything as long as I'm with you, and you are safe. I told you I believe in you, Emily, and I wasn't just talking about your muffins." A lump formed in my throat as tears formed in my eyes. He lowered his head to mine, and we stood in silence.

"Are you coming in or staying outside in the cold, Muffin Lady?" We heard from the doorway.

Declan lifted his head and winked at me. "Yeah, we're coming inside.

"Welcome to the Bowery Mission, Mr. Hayes."

"Thanks for bringing me, Muffin Lady." I tossed him an apron playfully.

"I'll get you for that."

"I look forward to it." Quickly we were put to work as it was one of the busiest days of the year for the kitchen. Declan rolled up his sleeves and did anything that was asked of him. Having him with me made it even more rewarding than usual.

"Ready to go?" I asked after we served the last of the lunch crowd.

"Yeah, just a second." He handed me his dirty apron and walked over to Joe, the man in charge of the kitchen. I couldn't hear them, but several words were passed between the two men and then Joe pulled Declan in for a big hug. It seemed to catch him off-guard.

"What was that about?" I asked as we walked back toward the subway.

"Just a little donation to the mission." I had already learned Declan Hayes didn't do small, so it made me instantly wonder what he meant by "little".

On the way back to the apartment, Declan told me all about The Bowery. He was like a kid talking about a new toy. How the man had found out that they served over three hundred thousand hot meals and over ninety-five thousand nights of shelter so far this year was beyond me. It was nice to be in the quiet apartment after having been surrounded by so many people all day.

We were both in desperate need of a shower. As tempted as I was to "save water" by taking one with him, I needed some time to myself to think. Who was I kidding? The entire time I was in the shower and then getting ready, I was thinking of him, of how nice it was to share this with him. I found myself rushing to get ready, just so I could be with him again.

When I entered the kitchen, I frowned when I found myself alone. It was crazy to miss him. He was just in his room. I busied myself with preparing our meal. It was quick since I had done everything yesterday before Declan came home. _Home, there was that word again, or was it more of a feeling I got when he was around?_

"Would the Muffin Lady care for a glass of wine?" I hated that nickname almost as badly as the one my father used to call me. I scowled at him, and his beautiful smile dropped. "I'm sorry. Let's try that again. Would my lovely Lemon Drop care for a glass of wine?" My frown turned instantly upside down into the biggest smile ever. Not only was I Lemon Drop, but I was "his" and I liked it.

"I'd love one. White, if you have it." He gave a "no duh" look and left the room. I continued to get our feast together while he got the wine.

"This looks great," he said after he pulled my chair out for me and sat down beside me.

"It's one of my favorite things about Thanksgiving."

"Sandwiches?"

"No, silly. Leftovers." He took a bite of the fully loaded turkey sandwich and moaned in appreciation.

"Oh my God. That's so good. No wonder why it's one of your favorite things about today, but what is your other?"

I took a sip of the perfectly chilled white wine before I answered. "Tell me yours first."

"I really don't know. It all seems pretty great so far, but I'd have to say... spending the day with someone so special. Someone who seems to like me for me and not what I can do for them or what they can get out of me." It made me mad to think he had been used in the past for personal gain. The walls around my heart crumbled for this man who had never been given a real Thanksgiving.

I gulped down a large drink of wine before I spoke. "Thank you. That is so sweet. My other favorite part is hearing what everyone is thankful for." I know it's silly because everyone always says the same things, but I really wanted to know. "What are you most thankful for Declan?"

Without hesitation, he answered with one word, "You."

#

I'm deliciously sore in places I didn't know I could be. After we had enjoyed our pie, Declan helped me in the kitchen with my baking before he took me to bed and had seconds of "dessert". It was an exhausting day, but one of the best of my life.

"Fuck!" I screeched when it dawned on me how much light was coming into the room and I was alone. I looked at the time. Nine a.m. flashed on the alarm clock. Panic overtook me. I've never missed a delivery. Greta is going to kill me, not to mention the loss of revenue and the wasted product. How the hell could I have slept through my alarm? What the hell happened to Matt, and why didn't Declan wake me up? That's when I noticed the note in the elegant script I have come to recognize and look forward to seeing.

Thank you for showing me that it isn't how much we give, but how much love we put into giving. I will always treasure our first Thanksgiving. Please enjoy your day; your transportation will pick you up at 10:00 for a much deserved day of rest and relaxation – Dec

Our first? Does that mean  he thinks we have more Thanksgivings together to come? What has he done? I fumbled for my phone. I had three new text messages.

<b>Matt</b>: ICB is a pretty cool guy and he moves faster than you do at o' dark thirty.

<b>Greta</b>: Love the new delivery boy! I tried to hire him. He said that I couldn't afford him. What are you paying him with?

<b>Nat</b>: Oh my God! He's a total keeper. I'll see you when you arrive. Dress casual :0)

I pressed his beautiful note against my chest and fell back in his bed. How did I become this girl? You know the one. The girl that smells his things, swoons, and goes weak in the knees at just the thought of him. I've always hated that girl, and I certainly never wanted to become her, but I do like the girl with drenched panties and multiple orgasms. I never knew it could be so incredible, and if I'm being honest with myself I know it's not just about the "O". I got ready at a leisurely pace with a giant smile on my face.

"Good morning, Billy."

"Good morning. Emily. Your chariot awaits." He motioned toward a beautiful horse and carriage waiting directly across Fifth Avenue for me. Yep, swoon-worthy. _Damn it._

"Good morning, Miss Barnes." The coachman extended his hand to me as I stood in front of him completely bewildered.

"Yes, it is. Thank you." I took his hand and climbed into the ornate carriage. He handed me a blanket, and I cuddled under it as we began our ride down the East Drive of the park. It was a beautiful day. The water in the reservoir was beginning to freeze, and a handful of children that were bundled up in scarves and mittens played in the Ancient Playground. The only thing that could have made the ride more perfect was if the man responsible for it was with me. Half an hour later, we came to a stop across from the iconic Ritz-Carlton Hotel. I took the hand that was offered to me and climbed down from the carriage. I walked to the front of the carriage to pet the majestic white horse.

"Her name is Kelpie. It means water spirit." The kind old man had an accent very similar to Declan's. He continued to tell me that water horses were believed to be mythological creatures that lived in the lochs. "If you see a white horse in the morning you will have good luck. You best be gettin' now." A tinge of guilt came over me as I searched through the only pocket I had, hoping it would be one of those lucky days when you discover a forgotten bill.

"It's all been taken care of, Miss Barnes. Please come back again." Does Declan always think of everything?

"I will," I offered with a grateful smile still unsure of where to go now.

"Right inside the hotel, Miss," he offered with a tip of his hat. Crap, I wish I wasn't wearing my favorite oversized NYU hoodie and yoga pants. I could kill Nat for this. She should have warned me.

 "Welcome to the Ritz, Miss Barnes. Right this way." How the hell does everyone know who I am? I followed the immaculately-dressed woman through the lobby. I swear the click-clack of her heels made everyone in the lobby stop to look at us. Yeah, right, it has nothing to do with the homeless looking woman she is escorting. "The rest of your party is waiting for you," she said as she opened the double doors to the spa.

"Finally," Natalie announced as she tipped back her champagne flute. That's when I noticed both her mother and Gabe's mother with her. Not only had he included my best friend in my day of rest and relaxation but two wonderful women who have always treated me as one of their own. My heart swelled; nobody had ever done something so nice for me. I longed to talk to him. To thank him, but I had already left him a voicemail message while I was in the carriage.

I wanted to scold my best friend for allowing me to arrive at the Ritz dressed like I was going to Walmart when a team of ladies approached us. Nat and I were escorted to the massage rooms while Gwen and Marion were taken to get facials. Once I was on the table and my masseuse began to work on me, I forgot all about my outfit. I have never been so relaxed in my life. A small fountain trickled in the corner, new age music played softly, and the scent of lavender from the oil used on my body filled the air. Just like the carriage ride, the only thing that would have made it any better was if the hands that touched me belonged to _him_.

"That was amazing." Nat said with a stretch and a yawn as we were shown to another room where Gwen, Marion, and a delicious lunch were waiting for us. "I can't believe we're having a spa day at the Ritz." Natalie practically squealed between bites. It was kind of absurd that we were sitting here in the middle of the day in plush robes and slippers eating a lunch fit for royalty.

"Tell us about your young man, Emily."

"I wouldn't call him mine. We only met five days ago. He's just very generous."

"Ha!" The sound from Nat was most un-ladylike, and her mother rolled her eyes at her. "What? I've seen the way he looks at you." Part of me wanted to protest, but the other part of me was glad that Natalie had seen something between us too. I was worried that I was reading more into things than I should.

"Well anyone that would go to this much trouble to plan a special day must be completely smitten," Marion told me with a squeeze to my hand.

A small knock and then the door opening interrupted our delicious lunch. "Delivery for Miss Barnes." I stood and was handed a beautiful bouquet of yellow lilies.

"He got you flowers too? I need Declan to talk to Gabe."

"Don't be ridiculous—Gabe treats you like a queen." Nat didn't argue because she knew I was right. From the moment I introduced them they have been head over heels in love. I smelled the buds and pulled out the card.

What are you doing to me Emily Barnes?

Whatever it is, please don't stop. – Dec

I flipped the card over. Apparently I wasn't the only one interested in Declan's choice of flowers because on the back of the card was written, _Yellow lilies signify walking on air._

"Oh my God. Emily, you are so falling in love with him." I shook my head to try and clear the fog. "Don't even try and deny it. Enjoy it. You deserve it." Love? My mother loved my father. What did it get her? A broken heart, and an empty bed. She never speaks badly of him, but before I moved out, I heard her crying every night from my room. My sister Libby has fallen in love more times than I can count. What has it gotten her? An ugly tattoo that has a perfect match on a guy she never wants to see again and a STD scare. Shit that's probably not even everything. And me, what has love ever gotten me? I've only claimed to be in love once. I was sixteen when my dad left my mom. My boyfriend, David, used my emotional state to convince me to finally have sex with him. I was foolish to believe he wanted anything more than my cherry because as soon as he popped it, he was gone. I decided then that nobody could shatter your heart into a million pieces if you didn't give it to them. "Earth to Emily." Who was I kidding? My head was telling me to proceed with caution, but my heart was already in his hands. I looked around the table. Nat loves Gabe. They complete each other and are starting to build a life together. I have no doubt that they will be together forever. With the right person, couldn't I have the same thing? Could Declan be that person for me? Gwen and Marion are both happily married.

"We don't find love. It finds us and sometimes it finds us when we aren't looking for it. Don't be afraid to let it in." I wiped a tear from my eye as Marion's words sunk in. She and Gwen hugged me before we were shown to our next treatment. Every inch of me felt pampered, refreshed, and most importantly cherished.

"Thank you, ladies, for coming. Mr. Hayes wanted you each to have these." Each of us was handed a gift bag; of course Natalie tore right into hers.

"Oh my God, he booked us appointments for the wedding. Hair, makeup, the works. This is frickin' amazing." How could I thank him for giving me such an amazing day? I thought about his note, "It isn't how much we give, but how much love we put into giving." If I gave him all of me, would it be enough? Would he toss it away like David, my first and only love, had done? Would he grow tired of it like my father had my mother? Would his love not be returned like all my sister's men? I guess I would never know unless I took a chance.

The car was waiting for us outside. I asked to be dropped off first. I had baking to do and a man to properly thank. I still had not talked to him all day. As crazy as it seemed, I missed him, and I couldn't wait for him to get back to the apartment.

**Dec:** I'm on my way up

Both nervousness and excitement overcame me as I waited for him. I felt a little ridiculous as I waited for the elevator doors to open. I did the best I could with what I had. I wore my black four-inch sling-back heels and the blue kimono robe my sister made me buy when we visited Chinatown the one and only time she came to visit me here. She told me that one day I would thank her. I've never really felt the need for lingerie before. I like my tanks and booty shorts, but tonight isn't about me. I reminded myself that he has seen me naked before. The door pinged open, and out he came. He loosened his tie as he walked out, and his mouth gaped open the moment he caught sight of me. It looked like today was the day I was going to be thanking my sister for being a pain in my ass.

"Wow," was all he said as I untied the robe and stalked toward him and let the silk drop. His briefcase hit the floor with a thud.

"Welcome home, handsome," I said as I ran my hands through his already tousled hair. He wrapped his arms around me and crushed his lips to mine. I licked the seam of his lips, and he opened his mouth greedily. Our tongues dueled, and I felt him harden against me. Knowing the effect I had on him made me wet. When the kiss was broken, he picked me up— good thing, because I was as limp as a wet noodle. I sucked on his earlobe as he carried me toward his room.

"There's no place like home." He groaned as I bit down on the tender flesh. I couldn't agree with him more because that is exactly where I feel when I am with him. He lowered me down on his bed. Every inch of me was on fire for him as I lay naked, splayed before him on his Egyptian cotton ready to give myself completely to him. He quickly began to undress. I moved to take off my shoes, and he caught my hand. "Leave them on," he growled with a heated gleam in his eye. This was going to be fun.

#

"Go back to sleep," I told him as I placed a kiss between his shoulder blades.

"What are your plans today?" he asked in that sexy sleepy voice of his.

"I was hoping to come back from the delivery and crawl into bed with a sexy Irishman."

"Can't Matt handle the delivery without you?" he whined. Yes, whined.

"It's my business, my responsibility, Declan. It's not something I just do for fun." He rolled over on his back and placed his hands behind his head. My eyes trailed down his chest. The sheet pooled at his waist. It took everything for me not to lick his six-pack abs, but he needed to know I was serious.

"I know this is important to you, Emily. I respect that you own your business and the plans you have for the future." I loved that he was so supportive of me. In fact, he had offered to finance me. He said he understood when I told him that I had to do it on my own even though I could see the hurt in his eyes. I was beginning to believe that we could have a future together, but I'm not a damsel in distress, and I certainly don't need him to rescue me.

"Thank you. I do need to go out shopping this afternoon for a shower gift for Natalie." I've been slacking on my maid of honor duties, so I'm hoping to make up for it by getting her something sexy for the honeymoon.

"I'll go with you." Heat rose through my body and colored my cheeks. "You're blushing. What are you planning on getting her?" he asked as he tickled me. He was relentless and quickly had me pinned under his body as he continued to tickle me.

"Stop. Stop," I begged, but deep down I wanted more.

"Tell me and I will." He stilled above me. Fire smoldered in his eyes as he leaned forward and kissed my neck.

"I'm getting her lingerie," I said breathlessly as I seriously considered his request for me to come back to bed because of the look he gave me.

"Hello?" Matt called out. Declan didn't take his eyes off me.

"She'll be right out, Matt." He lowered his voice, "I'm going with you, Lemon Drop, and Natalie won't be the only one getting new lingerie today." I hadn't even realized I was biting on my lip when he rubbed against it with his thumb which caused me to release it. The kiss he gave me didn't feel like goodbye. Instead, it felt like a promise of things to come later. Reluctantly, I got out of bed and went to work.

"Are you OK?" Matt asked as we rode down the elevator.

"Yes. Why?"

"You seem a little flushed. You aren't getting sick, are you?"

"Nope, I'm all good."

"I'll bet," Matt said under his breath with a twinge of jealousy in his tone.

"Do you like it?" He held up a beautiful, long, soft-pink, silk nightgown with spaghetti straps. Didn't men usually go for skimpier? The whole less is more thing? "It's not exactly what I thought you would go for." He raised his brow. "I just thought you would pick something different. Sexier." We were standing in one of those exclusive lingerie shops on Madison Avenue. I would never dream of shopping in a store like this, but Declan insisted. The dental floss underwear are one-hundred-and-fifty dollars a pair. I'm definitely in the wrong business if they get this much for a little frilled edge lace.

"This would look amazing on you. I like to think of it as a present. They look pretty, but the best part is unwrapping it and getting what's inside. That's the true gift." My heart raced, and desire burned in me until we were interrupted by the sales clerk. She spoke to Declan like she knew him. My temper raged as I imagined him doing this before with other women. Had he done this with Marissa? With others? I'm a fool. Of course he has. He's sexy, he's smart, he's rich, and he's fantastic in bed. I know he's been with other women. According to Gabe he has a reputation for being a player, but that just doesn't seem like the Declan I know. _How could I trust that this "player" wasn't playing me? Maybe I'm no different than the other women he shares a "history" with. He was so cold to Marissa. He insisted that she call him Mr. Hayes. Would he dismiss me like that when he was done with me?_ I was so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't even realized I had walked away.

I felt his strong arms around me from behind, but instead of melting into him like normal, I tensed. "What's wrong?" he asked as I tried to get away. It was hard to think with him so close.

"Let me go." People were beginning to look at us.

"Never." What the hell did he mean by that? He was playing tricks on me.

"Do you bring all the women you fuck here?" My question cut through the air like a knife, and I knew I hit my target when he released me from his hold. Before I could get away, he grasped my hand and pulled me into the dressing room that the sales clerk had started for me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I hissed as he locked the door and pinned me between it and his body. His lips crashed down on mine. I tried to push him away, but he was unmovable. His tongue parted my lips, and I gave in to him. I'm not sure if it was my anger or my desire for him that fueled the flames, but I was about to spontaneously combust when he pulled away.

He placed his thumb and finger on my chin and forced me to look at him. "I don't want to hear you ever refer to what we do like that." He placed a tender kiss on my lips to keep me from talking.

"But...."

He kissed me again. "I mean it, Emily." I tried to look away, but he wouldn't let me. "You are different than..." He stopped abruptly and took a step back as if trying to think of the right words to say. I was free of his grasp, but I didn't move. I was desperate to hear the words he was searching for. He took my hands and placed them over his heart. "I'm different because of you. You do this to me." His heart was racing. "You make me feel things I've never felt before." He brushed his nose back and forth against mine. It was a simple gesture, but one that I have come to love. Nobody has given me Eskimo kisses since I was a little girl. It made me feel so special. "You make me want to feel more." He kissed my forehead.

"I do?" I squeaked out like a mouse. That's exactly how he made me feel too.

"Yes, you're making me acting like a complete plonker."

"A plonker?" I asked with a schoolgirl giggle.

"Yes, an idiot. You're making me soft."

"I thought I made you hard," I teased. Before I knew what was happening, he had me facing the full-length mirror and was pressed against my backside. His erection poked against me. His hand trailed up from my hips to my breasts.

"I'd eat chips from your knickers," he said in my ear as he looked at me in the mirror. His sexy tone spurred me on. I pushed my tits further into his hands and ground my hips against his cock.

"You're playing with fire, Lemon Drop," he practically snarled against my neck.

"I'm a baker, I can take the heat, and I'm not wearing any knickers," I purred in response. I have never done anything like this before in my life, but stopping wasn't an option. I needed him. Here and now.

We heard a light knock at the door. "Is everything okay in there?"

"Bloody hell," I cursed, and Declan burst out laughing. Bastard. "Yes, thank you." We heard the click-clack of heels walking away.

"I think I'm rubbing off on you."

"I wish," I said as I teased him by rubbing up against him again. Although the moment had been ruined, I still needed him. Declan let go of me, adjusted his slacks, and then gathered all of the things I had planned to try on and left the room. Feeling dazed and confused, I left the dressing room. Declan was pacing back and forth as the nervous clerk attempted to check us out. Apparently he was buying half the store.

"This is going to take forever," I complained. I was tempted to take him back into the dressing room.

"Pish," he said with a kiss that left me yearning for more. He looked out the window. His driver, Eric, was waiting for us right outside with an amused look on his face. Traffic was at a typical standstill. He handed over his credit card and quickly gave the woman instructions before grabbing my hand and practically dragging me out onto Madison Avenue. "Wait for the packages and then leave them with Billy." Eric just laughed as he nodded in agreement. If it weren't for the slush on the sidewalk, I think we would have run back to the apartment. It was probably just over a half a mile. As we turned the corner onto Fifth Avenue, I slipped on some ice. Declan caught me before I could fall. He hoisted me over his shoulder and carried me that way the rest of the way. "By the way, I've never been in that store before. I won't lie to you. I've seen my share of silk and lace, but I've never purchased a piece of it before today." My pussy tingled with need. I wasn't like the others. I was _more_.

"Good evening, Mr. Hayes." Billy is a professional, but I could still hear the amusement in his voice as Declan carried me through the lobby over his shoulder.

"Hello, Billy. Eric will be dropping off some packages soon. Please tell him we are in for the night." I was so glad that I had done my baking for tomorrow before we left.

"Yes, sir." Declan continued through the lobby with me over his shoulder like I didn't weigh an ounce.

I looked up and gave the friendly doorman a wave. He waved back and shook his head back and forth with a massive smile on his face. "Don't see that every day." I squirmed in embarrassment, and Declan's large hand came down across my ass with a sting. It should have enraged me, but instead, it _excited_ me. The words he had said earlier, the way that I longed to have him, and the excitement of being at his mercy all had me more worked up than I had ever been before in my life. I couldn't help myself. The temptation was too great. I sank my teeth into his perfect ass as the elevator door shut behind us.

Just as quickly as the car began to move it stopped. What now? Declan slid me down his body. "I can't wait any longer," he said as he turned me so that my back was against the wall of the car. Thank fuck, because he wasn't the only one. I was never so glad to be wearing a dress and thigh-high stockings. He pushed my jacket off of me as I fumbled with his belt and zipper. My body burned for him, and if his hardness was any indication, he felt the same way too. "If I don't get inside of you soon, I'm going to pull the pin." He lifted me and pushed my dress up above my waist. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around him tightly. Without hesitation he plunged deep inside of me. "You feel like heaven," he grunted as he set a rhythm that was hard and fast. It was the first time he had been inside me without a "Johnny" as he called condoms. After several near misses we had had the sex talk and decided that we would rely solely on my pill or, as he said, "smarties", once we both got checked. Just this afternoon we had both gotten the all clear from the doctor that Declan paid extra to rush our test results. "Your gee-box is making me into a header," he practically cursed as he hit that spot inside me that only he has ever been able to find.

"Oh yes. Oh god." I clamped my "gee-box", as he called my pussy, around his thick cock. My head fell against his shoulder that was still covered in a beautiful handwoven cable sweater that fit him like a glove. "Declan," I whimpered as I began to tremble. He wasn't the only one that was crazy, I was a header for him too.

"Not without me, you don't." Somehow he hit me deeper. One, two, three pumps. "Now," he commanded, and then I felt him fill me as wave after wave of unparalleled pleasure ripped through me. My pussy clenched his cock, and he didn't stop pumping until we were both completely and totally satisfied. "Incredible," he said with a kiss before carefully setting me back down on my feet. He pushed a button and the car began to move again. I began to laugh.

I pointed at the emergency phone. "I'm surprised Billy didn't call to make sure we were all right."

"I'm pretty sure he knows that we are more than all right."

"Oh my God. He knows we just had sex in here. It smells like sex." I pushed Declan aside. The mirror behind me was covered in his hand prints and _oh my God._ "Is that...?"

"Prettiest one I've ever seen," he confirmed with a look of complete and utter satisfaction on his face. The door dinged opened. I slapped the finger that he was using to outline the print of my ass that was left on the mirror away.

"Don't you dare let this car go back down to the lobby. If you do, I swear it's the last time you'll ever see that ass." I ran inside the apartment to get some cleaning supplies and air freshener. When I returned, Declan and the car were gone. I was going to kill him.

I crossed my arms over my chest. It seemed like a long time, but I'm sure only minutes had passed when the chime announced the arrival of the car. Declan emerged with several bags of overpriced lingerie and a smug look on his face. "Was that a dare, my lovely Lemon Drop? Because I can guarantee you, I plan on seeing a hell of a lot more of your sweet ass cheeks." With his free hand, he slapped my rear-end again which inflamed the cooling embers of passion that still burned inside of me. He began to walk past me, and I noticed the mirror was now ass and handprint free. "Billy says hello," he said with a wink as I gawked at him. _Bastard_.

Shock.

Anger.

Embarrassment.

"You didn't?" I quickly followed him. He just kept walking. "I'm never going to be able to leave this building again." His shoulders began to shake. No way. The rat bastard was laughing at me. "This isn't funny, Declan Hayes." He turned to look at me, and I placed my hands on my hips. "What's your middle name? I need to use it."

"Kieran. God, you're sexy when you're cheesed off. It's getting me chubbed up again." He licked his lips and began walking back towards me. He looked at me like I was his prey.

"Stop!" I commanded as he reached out to touch me.

 "Stop what?" he asked as if he was innocent.

"I can't think when you touch me. I'm mad at you." Who was I kidding? I couldn't stay mad at him.

"And the only thing I can think of is touching you." He ignored my request, took the cleaning supplies away from me, and then took me in his arms. "What are you doing to me, Emily Barnes?" He asked breathlessly. _Me?_ He rubbed his nose against mine, and I swear if it weren't for his arms being around me I would have been on the floor in one giant pile of mush. "I cleaned the mirror, Lemon Drop. As much as I want everyone to know that you are mine, I would never embarrass you like that." I wanted to protest that I would never be _his_. I didn't, because, in that moment, I wanted to be _his_ more than anything. The desire to punch him was overcome with the need to kiss him, so I did.

"Was that our first fight?" His green eyes twinkled with amusement.

"I think so, why?"

"Make-up sex." _Oh hell yes!_

#

After we thoroughly made-up, we fell asleep in one another's arm. Gabe met me at the apartment for the Sunday delivery, and I was able to sneak out without waking Declan. Sadly, he wasn't home when I got back. I undressed, but instead of slipping into one of the beautiful silk gowns he bought me, I put on his Trinity College t-shirt. It was soft and smelled like him. I fell back asleep and dreamed of dancing under the stars with a gorgeous Irishman.

My body was on fire when I opened my eyes. I was face down on the bed, and I was no longer alone. Soft lips brushed against my neck. His hand trailed down my rib cage.

"Beautiful," he mumbled against my skin. I couldn't help but moan when he flicked his tongue against my earlobe before he sucked it into his mouth. With his body pushed against me I could feel him growing hard against me. I turned against him and threw my leg over him. He was only wearing a pair of boxers. I've never needed anyone the way that I need him. To say that it is a little overwhelming is an understatement.

"I missed you." I ran my hands through his hair. "Where were you?" I'm not the type of girl that needs to keep tabs on her man, but I really was disappointed when I didn't find him home in our bed when I returned. I know I shouldn't think of it as ours or him as _my man,_ but I just can't help myself.

"I didn't get you flowers yesterday," he said as he placed feather-like kisses along the collar of his shirt that I was wearing. "I like you wearing my clothes." His hands found the hem and he began to push it up and off of me. "But I like you naked better." With my foot, I pushed down his boxers as his magic tongue laved at my breasts. I turned my head to the side and noticed for the first time the beautiful bouquet of all white flowers on the nightstand.

"They are gorgeous."

"Not nearly as gorgeous as you."

 "What do they mean?" I could tell by the look in his eye that he was pleased that I was on to him and his flower choices.

 "The tulips are for forgiveness." The head of his hard cock was poised at my entrance.

 "I believe my 'two lips' forgave you after my third orgasm last night," I teased as I wrapped my legs around him tighter, trying to pull him inside of me. "What about the lilies?"

He put his hands under my ass and lifted me. "It's heavenly to be with you," he hissed as he sank deep inside of me.

"Oh God," were the only words I was capable of getting out. If this was Heaven, I never wanted to leave.

We both fell asleep after another sex marathon, and I was really running behind.

"What are you doing?" I nearly dropped the cupcake I was icing. It reminded me of the egg I dropped the first time we met. Sometimes it is hard to believe that it was less than a week ago.

"I'm decorating cupcakes for the bridal shower."

He sat down on one of the bar stools. "You amaze me. It's the one day you don't have to bake, and yet here you are in the kitchen baking. Why? You could have just bought cupcakes."

I put the cupcake down. "Nat." I wasn't sure if he would understand this. "When I got here I was so closed off. I would never have made it here without her. I thought that I could just go to class, graduate, and start my own life, but she made me see that I wasn't really living at all, and when I decided not to use my degree in the way that it was intended for and start Mama M's, she believed in me. She believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself so yeah, I could have just bought her cupcakes, but this is me telling her that I love her and that I believe she's worth the time and effort." I shrugged. "I guess we all have different ways of showing love. I do it by baking. Nat, well she does it by acting like her namesake—a pesky little bug that gets in your face and won't leave you alone." He smiled but didn't say anything for several minutes.

"Nobody has ever loved me like that." What little was left of the walls around my heart I was trying to keep up came tumbling down. I loved this beautiful, damaged man, and I knew in that instant that I needed to show him what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. "My father always seemed to distance himself from me, and my mother has always hated me." How could his parents be so cruel? Every child—no, every person—deserves to know that they are loved. "All my life I've been surrounded by people that want something from me." He was finally opening up to me, but the timing was awful.

I moved from behind the counter so that I could be closer to him. This time, I rubbed my nose against his before I kissed him tenderly on the lips. Now was not the time for this conversation but no way was I leaving him alone. "Come with me today. You can hang out with the guys."

A smile crossed his beautiful face. "You mean it?" The truth was that I never wanted to be without him again.

Matt's parents, Mel and Tami Medina, have been best friends and next door neighbors with Gabe's parents, Ed and Gwen Sutherland, forever and now Seth and Marion Chapman, Nat's parents, have been added seamlessly to the group. Justin, Gabe's older brother, is married to Cassie, and they have two adorable kids, Tyler and Reese. Matt has two older brothers, Mark and Mike. I love them all, but it can get a little nuts around here when we all get together. I hope Declan can handle it.

"Who's the hottie?" Amber, Gabe's eighteen-year-old sister, asked as she watched him descend the basement stairs to the man cave with the guys.

"Oh my, he's even more handsome in person," Marion, Nat's mom said as she fanned herself.

"That's Declan, Emily's new boyfriend," Gwen told her daughter with a grin on her face.

"Stop drooling, Mom, that's gross," Nat yelled as she grasped my arm and pulled me out of the room and down the hall.

"What are you doing? I need to finish getting everything ready." She pulled us both down on the bed in Gabe's childhood bedroom.

"The moms can finish up. Gwen just called ICB your boyfriend, and you didn't protest." Nothing ever gets past Nat. What could I say? She was right, I hadn't. "Oh my God. You're in love with him."

"I'm...." I began to deny it.

"Save it, Emily. I know you, and you are so falling in love with him." Before I could say anything else she threw her arms around me. "This is so perfect."

I was finally able to pull away from her. "What's perfect?"

"Come on, M. You know I've got a thing for men in kilts, and Gabe won't wear one. You have to ask Declan to wear one to the wedding." Thoughts of me being able to answer the age old question of what men wear under them filled my head before I remembered something.

"He's Irish, Nat, not Scottish."

"Blarney," she cursed as we both fell back on the bed laughing.

Once we calmed down, I was finally able to admit something to my best friend. "I'm scared, Natalie."

"He's not your dad or David, Emily. Give him a chance. I've never seen you this happy. You deserve this."

"But he could have anyone." I like to consider myself a strong and confident woman, but Declan is way out of my league.

"And he picked you." She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "Why can't you see what everyone else sees?"

"What are you talking about, Nat?"

"When I think about the type of person I want to be, I see you. You are the most selfless person I know. You lost your apartment because your sister needed your help. You didn't even hesitate. You volunteer at the Bowery every chance you get. Everybody loves you. Declan Hayes just won the lottery, and I'm not talking about money and you know it."

"Nat..."

"No, let me finish. I know you say that I saved you, but that's not true. Not only did you introduce me to the love of my life, but you inspire me to be a better person, to deserve to be your best friend. I love you, Emily."

"I love you too, Nat." A knock on the door interrupted our love fest.

"You guys better get out here, that Rebecca girl is about to go down to the basement. She said something about needing to eat some sausage, and she hasn't even seen your man yet."

"Oh shit!" Natalie declared as we scrambled off the bed and out the door past Amber. We became friends with Rebecca our second year of college. She's hilarious, but a total praying mantis, if you know what I mean. Luckily we caught her before she went down to the man cave. I'm the only one that gets to eat my man.

All the guests were gone. Natalie loved the shower. Declan's arms came around me from behind. "I love the way you smell," he said against my neck. He inhaled deeply. "Like home."

"I hope he's not driving," Gabe teased as he also wrapped his arms around Nat. "The old man broke out his twenty-one-year-old Bushmills as soon as he heard ICB's accent." I barely heard what he said because I was still reeling from Declan's comment about my scent.

"We've been trying to get him to drink that with us for years," Matty said with a pouty lip as he began looking into all the gift bags that were sitting on the table. It was obvious they had all indulged, so I tried not to read too much into Declan's earlier remark. "Holy shit," he said once he found something of interest. "Bow chicka wow wow." Matt slowly pulled the baby doll that I had given Nat out of the bag. She loved the pale-pink tulle that was embroidered with black spots. Matt held it up. "I need to get laid," he said before Gabe ripped the delicate material away from him.

"Get your own girl," Gabe said with a smack to his best friend's head.

"Don't look at mine," Declan added before we all started laughing. _His_? I liked the sound of it. Maybe Nat is right. I do deserve it, and so does Declan, my Irish Car Bomb.

#

Fifteen thousand thread count cotton being ripped away from you is no way to be woken up on the one day you get to sleep in all week, until you get a glimpse of the sexy culprit who is responsible. He's dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a thermal Henley with the sleeves pushed up his muscular arms. "It's time to get up, Lemon Drop," Declan says playfully as he grabs my foot and begins to pull me off the bed.

I grumble, "Don't you have to go to work?" I'm not sure which look I prefer, Declan in his Brooks Brothers or casual Declan. I think I love them both.

"R.H.I.P." It was much too early for this, and I was in desperate need of coffee.

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked as I attempted to take the covers from him. He released his grip on the sheets, and I went flying back against the mattress. I rolled onto my stomach and covered my head with my pillow.

"Rank has its privileges; I'm the boss, and I'm taking the day off. Now, as much as I love to have you naked in my bed, we really do have to get going. I picked out your clothes. They are in the bathroom. If you aren't up and ready when I get back, you'll be sorry." His hand came down on my bare ass, and I jumped. "Now move that pretty little arse."

"This better be good," I yelled as he left while I rubbed my backside. I should be mad at him, but I'm not. Not that I would ever admit it to him, but that kind of turned me on. I entered the en suite to find he had supplied me with my own pair of jeans and a shirt that was very close in color to his. I quickly showered, dressed, and put my hair up in a ponytail. I put on some mascara, a little blush, and a nude lip gloss. Obviously wherever we are going isn't formal, and Declan has told me over and over again that he likes the fact that I don't cake on a ton of makeup.

"Happy now?" I asked as I entered the kitchen.

"Almost," he said as he took me in his arms and kissed me. Kissing Declan Hayes is like nothing I have ever experienced before. It's not just our tongues, lips, and mouths. I feel his kisses everywhere, and the thing that makes it even better is that I think he feels the same way too. As usual he ended it with an Eskimo kiss. Something about it grounded me, giving me a moment to collect myself. We both opened our eyes and Declan ran the back of his hand tenderly down my cheek. "The happiest I've ever been." _Me too._

Declan handed me a coffee and grabbed his and a white bag that hopefully contained our breakfast. The elevator ride was quiet; I don't think I'll ever be able to ride in this car again without thinking about being pushed up against the glass with my legs wrapped around him. He squeezed our joined hands, and I could tell by the grin on his face that he was thinking about it too.

"Good morning, Mr. Hayes and Emily. Your car is waiting for you. Have a nice day." Billy said with his trademark nod. I was expecting the town car, but instead a black pick-up truck was waiting for us at the curb. A white logo with the word H.I.P., which I know stands for Hayes Investment Properties, in all capital letters was on the door. Declan opened the passenger side door for me and helped me up into the truck.

Declan raced around the truck and hopped in. He handed me the white bag and buckled up. "Your breakfast, my lady."

"Thank God," I said as I opened it and handed him one of the bagels it held. "Where are we going?"

"Where we are going is a surprise." I'd never liked surprises before now. Declan weaved his way in and out of traffic like a pro, and soon we were headed north on I-87 out of the city. We spent the next hour playing twenty questions, and when he pulled into the nearly empty parking lot of a "cut your own Christmas tree" farm, I was thrilled. Not only had I learned a lot about Declan, but we were doing something that I have always wanted to do.

"Welcome to our farm," we were warmly greeted before Declan was given a handsaw and directions to cut down our tree.

"Thank you. I've always wanted to do this. Mom never let us have a real tree," I said as I snuggled against him in the wagon that was taking us around the farm before dropping us off.

"You're welcome. It's a first for me too."

"A real one?"

"No, picking it out. Cutting it down. Decorating it. The whole shebang."

"You never had a Christmas tree?"

"I didn't say that, Lemon Drop. The resort or hotel we were at always had a beautiful tree. We just never had one where we lived at the time because we were never there." I couldn't help but notice that he didn't call it "home" just the place they "lived at the time". His comment about me smelling like _home_ hit me a little harder. How is it that the man that seems to have everything could have missed out on so much as a child and turned out so normal. Yes, his parents might have given him anything money could buy, but they sure as shit didn't give him anything else.

Picking the perfect tree was an experience I will never forget, and the video I shot of Declan cutting down our tree will probably go viral if I ever post it. Apparently dabbling in the lumber industry isn't part of the Hayes portfolio. Once we finally got the tree baled and loaded into the truck, we stepped into the little bakery and shop. A bell chimed when we entered holding hands, and a robust older woman greeted us like we were members of her family coming home. "Aren't you two the cutest couple? Where are your babies, they must be adorable." I never planned on getting married or having kids, but for some reason I could see Declan and I coming here for years to come. Just the idea of sharing this amazing experience with generations to come should have terrified me, but oddly enough, it didn't.

"Oh, we aren't...."

"We left them at home with Grandma. They seem to be coming down with something, but they can't wait for the darn Elf on the Shelf to show up," Declan answered before I could tell her that we weren't married and that we didn't have any children. What was he playing at?

"He's...." What could I say?

"What my wife is trying to say is that I'm just as bad as the kids are, and I just can't wait to start wreaking havoc with that Elf again. Right, Lemon Drop?" We spent the next few hours sipping hot cider and tasting every delicious treat that Mrs. Stuart sold in her family farm's bakery. She even shared some of her recipes with me.

"I still can't believe you named our kids Buck and Bruce," I said with a laugh as we rode up the elevator to the apartment.

"What? Those are good strong names for our boys. Next year we might need to rent some kids." So I wasn't the only one that was thinking about future trips back to the farm. We entered the apartment, and it was like we walked into my Christmas fantasy.

"When? Who? How did you do this?" The apartment was perfect. Before he could answer, Billy arrived in the freight elevator with the tree.

"In the corner, Mr. Hayes?"

"Yes, let me give you a hand." The two men struggled to place the giant tree we had selected in the stand in the corner window while I tried to take it all in. The table lamp had been replaced by a replica of the famous leg lamp from a Christmas Story. Even the dining room table was set with Christmas China. "Thank you, Billy," Declan told him once the tree was standing straight before he left us.

"Well? Do you like it?" he asked with giddy anticipation.

I still couldn't believe that he did this all for me. I didn't quite know what to say, so I stated the obvious while I pointed at the poinsettias. "You got me more flowers."

With a playful smile, he told me. "Actually those are just for decoration, but I did get you this. You can call it a flower if you want." He guided me to the doorway, placed his hand under my chin, and tipped it back to show me the mistletoe that hung above us. This beautiful man overwhelmed me in every way. Tears filled my eyes as I kissed him.

"Why the tears, Lemon Drop?" he asked as he wiped them away. I didn't want him to think for a moment that he had done anything wrong.

The truth was that I was scared. Terrified, really—it was all too much. Of course, I couldn't tell him that, so I told him what I could. "I've never seen anything more beautiful. It's perfect." He assumed I was talking about the magical Christmas wonderland he had somehow created while we were away, but my answer really had nothing to do with any of that. He was everything I never knew I wanted or needed in my life.

"C'mere," he said as he pulled me in for another kiss and for a moment I considered that I wasn't the only one who was scared.

I couldn't see him from the kitchen, but I could hear him singing along with the Christmas carols that were playing while also cursing out the strings of lights. After I had placed the last batch of muffins in the oven, I watched him without him knowing before I entered the room. He looked so young, so happy. I can't give him expensive gifts, but I can give him this—holiday memories that I hope can last a lifetime. I know that I will never forget this, but I have to remind myself that Maggie and his parents will come back soon. Declan will return to his apartment, and I have to find a new place to live. What will happen then?

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" he bristled, and I immediately regretted the words. I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him from behind. "I'm sorry. I was kidding." He took a deep breath. Maybe he would open up to me more about his parents. Why does the sheer mention of his parents hurt him so much?

"I don't want talk of her to ruin our perfect day." He was right, today belonged to us, so I reached for two boxes of ornaments, handed him one and began to sing. We ate Chinese food with chopsticks out of to-go cartons on the floor and then we made love in front of the fireplace and our perfect Christmas tree.

#

As I entered Swayed, I was both excited and nervous. When Declan told me that he showed my business plan to Logan Wheeler, I was furious until he told me that he thought it was brilliant and that he wanted to talk to me about it. You see, I don't want a bakery with a storefront of my own, but I do want Mama M's to boast the most sought after muffins and specialty desserts in the city.

"Emily, thank you so much for coming by," Logan offered with a kiss to my cheek. He really is handsome, and if it weren't for Declan, I would probably be attracted to him.

"Thank you for asking. I was a little surprised when Declan said that you wanted to meet."

He burst out laughing. "Surprised?" he asked when he was finally able to speak. "I heard you were pissed."

"Well, that too," I said with a smile.

"You shouldn't be upset. This is a great opportunity for both of us." Just eating at Swayed was a dream come true and now I was meeting with the executive chef and partner. I followed him into the kitchen. "I love your plan. I'd like you to come up with a dessert for our new menu."

"Me?" This couldn't be happening.

"Yes, Emily. You. I love your muffins, and I know you know what you are doing."

"But this is Swayed. You have a waiting list and a pastry chef."

"Yes, and we have crème brûlée that isn't as good as the stuff off the food cart down the street." I buried my head in my hands in embarrassment. How could Declan tell him that?

"Don't be embarrassed. I'm glad that he let me know, and the sneaky bastard did it with a blind taste test, so your pick won fair and square. We are fixing it by revamping the entire dessert menu and Swayed needs to be the first restaurant in the city with an exclusive Mama M's creation on its menu."

"I don't even have a kitchen yet."

"That's the beauty of it. We do. All you need to do is come up with the perfect recipe. Something different, uniquely you, and we do all the cooking here. We'll pay you for the recipe."

"And the use of the Mama M's name," I added.

"You've been hanging around Declan too much. Of course we will pay for the name too."

Ideas began to flow through my head, and Wheeler knew he had me. "You've got a deal, Logan. When do you need it by?" I didn't even think about a contract or fees. This was an opportunity I couldn't pass for any amount of money.

"I'd like to have it on the menu in the next two weeks if possible." Sure it's not like I have the holidays, or my best friend's wedding, or an apartment to find. What's one more thing to add to the list?

"Why not?"

"Chef, I'm sorry to bother you, but we have a problem with a delivery."

"I'm sorry, Emily, but I need to go deal with this. I look forward to tasting whatever you come up with.

"Thank you, Logan. I won't let you down." We shook hands, and he began to walk away.

"Oh, Emily, thanks for putting a smile on the asshole's face. I've never seen him so happy." He turned to walk away, and my heart skipped a beat. Declan wasn't the only one that was happy. As I walked out, I was once again drawn to the photos on the walls, so I stopped to look at them. I was attracted to them for reasons that I could not explain.

"What are you doing here?" Her snarl broke me out of my daze. Marissa. The bubble of happiness that was around me burst. I should have just left without speaking to her, but I couldn't help myself.

"I had a meeting." I've never hated someone instantly like I did her.

"And Declan said you were different," she said as she rolled her eyes at me. "I guess we're more similar than he thought."

How dare she? "For your information, I didn't ask Declan for anything," I told her. Why do I feel like I have to defend what Declan and I have together? Thinking of him being with her makes me want to vomit. The first time I met her, I did not press him. I had no right; we were on our first date. We haven't discussed her since. I tried to focus back on the photos, hoping that she would just scurry away like a cockroach when you turn on the lights.

"They are amazing, aren't they, just like Declan." Well at least we agreed on that. "But I like the ones in his apartment better. Especially the one above his bed." _What? She was in his bedroom? In his bed? Insert knife and twist_. I needed to get out of there before I bled out all over the floor, but somehow I knew I couldn't let her have the last word. I wish I were more like Nat, she would know exactly what to say.

"That's Mr. Hayes to you," I said before I slapped her so hard that my hand stung.

I didn't know who I was madder at Declan or Marissa. She definitely took pleasure in hurting me, but he had a _history_ with her, and I wasn't naive enough to believe that they hadn't slept together. For god's sake, the woman had been in his bedroom. Yes, I sleep in his bed at his parents' home, but he didn't even ask me to come into his bedroom when we visited his apartment. The thought of Marissa in his bedroom—in his bed—made my stomach curl. I entered the apartment in a fury. I didn't even open the card on the fresh arrangement of flowers. My heart couldn't take it. I was too mad to go back to bed, so instead I made my way to the kitchen and baked all the muffins for tomorrow. I even made extra; the sooner I had enough money saved, the sooner I could get out of here. I reminded myself that I barely knew Declan Hayes and that I didn't need him or any man.

I knew two things for sure: One, I didn't want to be at the apartment when Declan came home from work. I chided myself for thinking of this place as a home for even the briefest moment. Two, it wouldn't be fair to bring Nat and Gabe into this. They had enough going on with the wedding right around the corner, but I really had no place to go, so grabbing his keys, I decided to go to the one place I couldn't get off my mind.

What the hell was I doing? This was a mistake, and I knew it the second I unlocked the door to his empty apartment. I just didn't know where else to go. Nobody would think to look for me here. I put the groceries down on the counter and ran my hand along the granite countertop. I couldn't help but again wonder what type of work was being done on the pristine apartment that would cause Declan to stay at his parents'.

The light snow falling outside soothed me. I found myself standing in front of the photos that hung on the wall. Unlike the ones at Swayed, which were architectural in nature, these were all of people, in shades of black and white. Each was a different scene that you might see on any Sunday while strolling through Central Park. A man and a young boy putting a model boat in the water at the Conservatory; a woman placing a child on the back of a carved wooden horse at the carousel; and a family of three sharing a picnic on a blanket by the lake. They weren't the same people. They almost seemed like the photos that are often placed in frames as fillers before you put your own in, but they were too artistic, too personal to be that. In the short time I have known Declan Hayes, I know these photos mean something to him, and the longer I look at them, the more I become convinced that they were taken by the same person who took the photos at Swayed. Could it be? Declan had taken what seemed like hundreds of photos the day of the parade. He often had to catch up with us as he walked the parade route because we stopped to capture something. His camera was one of the few personal items he now had at his parents' besides his clothing. I had caught him taking photos of me more times than I could count, yet he hadn't shown me a single image. How could Declan share this with her? I fought the urge to open his bedroom door and see what photo hung above his bed. It was hard enough as it was. Why had I decided to come here? Oh, that's right, to hide. I sent Natalie a text.

_Going radio silent. Don't worry. Meet me at our spot in am for java. ILY <3 TTYT_

I hit send, turned off my phone, and then got busy in the kitchen. I knew if I left it on, she would just blow it up. It was easier just to turn it off and apologize in the morning. Gabe and Nat weren't perfect and on more than one occasion she had needed time to "think" herself. I knew that she would understand.

I had a recipe to perfect, and since I couldn't get Declan out of my head, I decided to make the dessert about him. It needed to be luxurious, decadent, and sexy just like the man I couldn't get off my mind. While I was shopping, I thought about Declan, the Irish Car Bomb, and I decided the cocktail was the perfect inspiration. I filled my cart with Guinness, whiskey, Irish cream, cocoa powder, and the remainder of the ingredients I would need. Declan had confessed that Maggie was responsible for making his kitchen usable, so I had no doubt in my mind that he would have everything else I would need for my creation. True to form, Maggie did not disappoint. The cakes were chocolatey and tasted of stout, and while they baked in the ramekins, I worked on the whiskey ganache and Irish Cream buttercream. As the oven timer buzzed, I couldn't help but notice that the sun had set. A glance at my watch told me that Declan should be arriving at the apartment. What would he think when he found I wasn't there? Would he even care? Maybe he would enjoy the solitude of the empty apartment, or maybe he would call Marissa for a date or invite her over to the apartment. Would they sit in front of our Christmas tree? I was making myself crazy. He isn't my boyfriend. He's the man I'm fu.... No, it wasn't that. I know he feels it. For god's sake, yesterday he told Mrs. Stuart that we are married and have two boys named Buck and Bruce. As the cakes cooled, I once again stood mesmerized in front of the images hanging on the wall. What did they mean to Declan? Would he shut me out if I just asked? Would the subject be like that of his parents?

I sliced each cake through the middle and added a dollop of the buttercream before lightly frosting the sides so that they would be smooth. Once that was done I put them on a wire rack and spooned a generous amount ganache over the top until it began to spill over the edge, and then I placed them in the refrigerator. Happy with the results, I decided to leave the mess for the morning. Exhaustion from not returning to bed after making the morning delivery and from my earlier emotional state set in, and I nearly passed out on the expensive leather sofa the moment I hit it.

My alarm clock went off, and I stretched remembering the wonderful dream I had. In it, Declan was there and had carried me in his strong arms to his bed. The memory of the dream was so strong that I could almost feel him lying next to me. The bed was so comfortable, and it smelled of him. _Wait a minute!_ I suddenly sat up in bed. The bed sheets fell, exposing my naked body. Bed? I fell asleep on the sofa. Shit, it wasn't a dream. I was in Declan's bed, and I wasn't alone.

 "Good morning, Lemon Drop," he said with a stretch as he opened his beautiful green eyes. I gasped and tried to get out of the bed, but quickly found myself pinned beneath him. "Why are you running?" he asked before he put his forehead against mine and rubbed our noses together. It was too intimate. I couldn't look at him, so I closed my eyes. He kissed my lips sweetly, but at the same time I could feel his hardness against me. I didn't open my eyes—I couldn't look at him yet. He kissed me softly. Tears I tried not to shed rolled down my face. "Talk to me. What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" Waking up with him there, naked in the bed that he shared with her and who knows how many others was too much.

"I need to go. I'm meeting Matty at Greta's." Declan didn't move.

"No, he's taking care of it this morning without you." He tried to kiss me again, and I turned my head to the side.

"Nat is expecting me for coffee. If I don't show up she will call the National Guard," I said as I struggled to get free.

"She's aware of the change in plans," he said with a satisfied grin on his face. "Are you out of excuses yet?"

Nat was officially on my shit list with Declan and the wine bitch. "I should go. I don't belong here." He actually looked hurt by my comment.

"I like having you here in my bed."

"Ha!" I belted out.

"Ha?" he copied me. "What does that even mean, Emily? Why did Nat yell at me like I had done something wrong? She told me if I hurt you she would kick my ass. The last time I saw you yesterday, everything was fine." He released my hands and ran his hand down my cheek. He looked at me so tenderly. "You scared the gick out of me, mo chailín shárálainn. Just tell me what happened so I can fix it."

I couldn't help but smile. He knows it drives me crazy when he says words I don't understand. "What did you say?"

"I missed that smile, and I said that you scared the shit out of me, my gorgeous girl."

Every time he called me _his_ , it did things to me. This time, it reminded me that I wasn't _his_ at all. "I can't be here in your bed, Declan." When he shifted off of me, I sat up, taking the sheet with me. Yes, he had seen me naked plenty of times, but now I felt like I couldn't expose myself further to him. It would hurt too much. I can't just be another notch in his bed post. That's not who I am.

"Why the bloody hell not? The only thing that would be better than having you naked in my bed is having you naked beneath me in my bed."

"Like all the others?" I asked as I tried not to start crying again.

"What others? What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I ran into Marissa yesterday at Swayed. She told me how much she loved the photo over your bed and the others in the living area." He let off a string of curse words that I didn't understand as he ran his hands through his hair. As mad as I was, I couldn't help but look at him. He was naked, and it was probably the last time I would ever see him that way again. I still hadn't looked at the photo. I knew it would probably break me. "I'll just go. I'll be out of your parents' apartment by the end of the day."

"You are the only woman I have ever brought to this bed." I began to refute him, but he placed his fingers over my lips and continued. "I have always been honest with you. Yes, Marissa and I have had..."

"Sex," I finished his sentence. I think he was actually blushing.

"Yes, but you are the only woman that has ever slept with me in my bed in any of my homes."

"Are you trying to get off on a technicality by using the word "slept"?" I made air quotes when I said the word.

"God, you can be a pain in the arse! No, I have never slept, had sex with, been intimate with, fucked, or made love to any woman but you in any bed that I consider to be mine." There was that word again.

"But she has been here." He seemed a bit confused and then realization seemed to come across his face.

"Yes. For a business dinner that was here. Wheeler cooked for an important client that I was trying to woo by inviting them into my house. Marissa served the wine and dinner. She must have snooped around while she was here. Why didn't you just talk to me, Emily?"

"I'm scared." I believed him. He had never been anything but honest with me and now it was time for me to do the same.

"Of what?" he asked as he moved closer and took my hands in his.

"Of everything. Maggie and your parents coming back, you moving back here, finding a place to live, my business, and...."

"And?" I wanted to say that I was scared to death that I was falling for him, but I couldn't.

"And knowing what's in the photo above your bed." It wasn't a complete cop out. I was nervous as hell about it. Maybe I was wrong, but somehow the images seemed like windows into Declan Hayes very soul, and I feared that the photo would be the thing that made me completely fall in love with him. I wasn't sure that I could ever recover from him breaking my heart so never giving it to him in the first place seemed like the only logical thing to do, the only problem was that it was probably already too late for both me and my heart.

 "Why is the photo so important?" He tried to play it off, but I could tell by the look on his face that it mattered.

"You know why," I said barely above a whisper as I turned to look away trying to hide the tears that began to well in my eyes. Like me, Declan had built up walls, but the photos were pieces of him that he couldn't hide. More than anything, I wanted to believe that I was the only one that saw it, but I wasn't. Marissa saw it too, and knowing that just about killed me.

"What am I going to do with you, Lemon Drop?" he asked as he rose from the bed pulling me with him to face the photo. I closed my eyes, afraid to look. "Open those beautiful brown eyes," he said against my skin while he wrapped his strong arms around me from behind. Why was I so afraid to look? Probably because I had a feeling that this one image would tell me so much more about the man I was falling for. I opened my eyes, and all the air left my lungs as I looked at the image. It was amazing, beautiful, and it broke my heart. Was this how he saw his life? I turned in his arms, and he held me. Our naked bodies pressed together made something primal take over. I had to have him. I had to have him now, in the bed he had never shared with anyone else. My lips crashed against his. He lifted me as the kiss intensified, and I wrapped my legs around him. He laid me down on the bed—his bed—and made love to me like I was the only woman in the world. His world.

Being in his arms never felt so good. "Tell me about it?" I asked as he raked his fingers through my hair. Our limbs and sheets were tangled together.

"It's just a picture."

"No it's not, and I'm pretty sure you are the artist who took it and the photos in your living room and the pictures at Swayed."

"How did you know?" he sounded surprised.

I sat up so that I could look at him and so I could also take another glance at the photo. "Maybe because I'm drawn to them just as much as I am to you." This time, I made no attempt to cover my bare skin. I didn't want to hide anything from him so that he wouldn't hide from me.

"You are the first person who has ever figured it out." I wish that were true. "It's like you see me. Really see me." I should have told him that Marissa seemed to know about the photos, but I didn't. I wanted him to feel the connection between us, so I leaned forward and brushed my nose against his like he always does to me.

"Which ones did you take first?" I was pretty sure I already knew the answer, but I wanted to know for sure.

"The ones in the other room." Just as I suspected. Those were vulnerable. As if they displayed something he longed for in his life; a father, a mother, and a family.

"You don't take pictures with people in them anymore." It was a statement, not a question.

"Until I met you, those were the last photos I took with people in them." My heart fluttered as I looked up. The image was of the famous Bow Bridge in Central Park. I've loved that bridge since I first saw it. It's so romantic. Although, I've never seen it captured like this before. The details of the bridge are what most people would say the focus is if looking at the image—the connecting circles that spans it or the urns filled with flowers—but for me it is the image of the blurry couple walking away hand in hand in the background. This hurt man feels so alone but still sees the beauty in things that others wouldn't. I've seen the proof of that in his images at Swayed.

"Maybe they aren't walking away from you." Open mouth, insert foot. Sometimes I really have no filter. I shouldn't have said that. He shook his head.

"Everybody walks away. They take what they want and then they are gone." His entire body tensed.

"Not everyone," I told him before kissing him softly until I felt him relax. I could never walk away from Declan, and I wanted to kill his parents and scratch out the eyeballs of anyone that had ever used him. Morning light filtered in the room. Normally I would be freaking out about not being at the market for the morning delivery, but at that moment I knew that Declan's arms were exactly where I wanted to be. I was beginning to realize that I couldn't expect Declan to let down his walls if I didn't do the same. Would it be so bad to let him in? Could two broken hearts heal one another? Maybe, just maybe. As I snuggled against him, my stomach growled loudly, and we both began to laugh.

"I think that's my cue to feed you." Declan leaned over the bed and tossed me his wrinkled dress shirt. I lifted it to my nose and took in his amazing scent before putting it on. "You know that's weird, right?" he asked with an amused smile.

"Whatever, perv, I've seen you sniff my panties." He slipped on a pair of boxers.

"Touché. Let's see what we have to eat in this place before I decide to just eat you." Goosebumps rose on my arms at the thought of Declan buried between my thighs.

"That can be arranged," I teased as he tugged me towards the messy kitchen. I didn't realize I had left it in such disarray the night before.

"What happened in here? You're usually so tidy."

"Sorry, I'll clean it up." I began moving things to clean up.

"I don't give a fuck about the mess, Emily." His voice was firm but not angry. He turned me to face him and pinned me between his body and the cluttered counter. "Why did you come here?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. I just..." He placed his finger under my chin and tipped my head up so that I was forced to look at him. _Let him in, Emily_ , I reminded myself. I took a breath. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. This probably sounds stupid, but I wanted to be close to you, but I didn't want to see you."

He pressed his lips against mine. The kiss was tender and sweet. "I was so scared when I got to the apartment, and you weren't there. I thought something had happened to you, and then when I couldn't get you on your phone, I really started to panic." My heart started to break for him. Hadn't I done the exact thing he feared by just leaving him without even a word? How could I be so stupid? He started to shake his head as if he had read exactly what I was thinking. "Don't do that, Lemon Drop. You didn't do anything wrong. I talked to Nat. She assured me that you were all right and that sometimes in relationships timeouts are a good thing. I've never had one like this, so I have to take her word for it."

He pushed some dirty dishes out of the way before he lifted me up onto the counter and stood between my legs. "I'm sorry. I should have a least sent you a message to tell you that I was OK." I pushed his sexy wake n' wear hair out of his face so that I could see his beautiful green eyes.

"It's fine as long as it was just a timeout and not a break," he teased as I began to laugh uncontrollably. I could just hear Natalie trying to explain the difference between a timeout and a break to Declan using "Friends 101" as her teaching aid. Poor baby. "What were you baking?"

"I was working on the new dessert for Swayed. The only problem is that I couldn't stop thinking of you," I admitted, and it felt good.

"So what did you come up with?"

"An Irish Car Bomb cake," I said with a blush. "It's in the fridge if you want to try it." I was excited for Declan to try the chocolate concoction that he inspired. He moved to the refrigerator and took out the cakes but quickly returned to his spot between my legs with a cake on a plate and one fork. I watched him as he took his first bite.

"Coodle, I'm a jammy client," he said after he swallowed. His sexy accent is always thicker when he speaks Gaelic, which I've found he often reverts to when he curses.

"What the hell does that even mean?" As I looked at the beautiful man, I couldn't help but think that I now understood the meaning of the expression "Irish eyes are smiling".

He placed another bite on the fork and fed it to me. "I said, 'Shit, I'm a lucky fool.'" I licked the chocolate from my lips as he took another bite. "God you're sexy," he said in almost a growl as he pulled me to the edge of the counter. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist pushing his boxer-covered erection against my bare flesh. He lifted the fork to my mouth again, and I refused it before taking the plate and utensil from him.

"That's not what I'm hungry for, Mr. Hayes." I almost didn't recognize my own voice.

"No?" he asked as he rubbed against me, making me even wetter than I already was.

"Not even close." He trailed his hands up the inside of his unbuttoned shirt I was wearing and cupped my breasts in his hands. My head fell back, and I couldn't help but moan when he tweaked both my nipples.

I felt his hot breath at the base of my neck before he trailed it with his tongue up to my ear. "But that Irish cream was delicious." I swear I almost came when he clamped down on my earlobe.

"True, but I'd rather have some authentic Irish cream filling."

"Fuck, Emily," he cursed through gritted teeth. With my feet, I pulled down his boxers, and in one swift thrust he filled me completely. No, it was more than that. He didn't just fill me, he possessed me, everywhere; body, mind, heart, and soul. Instead of continuing to fight it, I decided to let it go. It dawned on me that Declan and I could tell our own story, or in our case, take our own picture. It was time for me to stop letting the failure of my parents relationship dictate my relationships. With the weight of the past let go, I soared. My entire body trembled as I reached my climax while he emptied himself inside of me. Maybe it was just the euphoria I was feeling of just having the best sex of my life, but I swear I felt a change in Declan too. It seemed like hours had passed, but it was probably only minutes when he lifted me off the counter. I looked down at the counter and couldn't help but laugh at the new mess we had left. Flour had spilled on the counter. My backside was probably covered in it. Declan began to chuckle too and then with the tip of his finger he traced a heart in the flour before he carried me back to his bed where he made sweet love to me again.

I felt completely sated with my head on Declan's muscular chest as he ran his hand up and down my back. I ran my hand across his tight pecs and down his washboard abs before I trailed my finger down the V that would lead me to the promise land. I couldn't hold back the schoolgirl giggle that escaped me.

"Should I be hurt?" he asked as he grabbed my wrist.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing at you. I promise." I kissed his chest, and he released his hold on me. I sat up, propping my head on my left hand while I continued to touch him with my right.

"You started laughing just before you got to my lucky charms?" I couldn't help but giggle again.

"Lucky charms?" I asked with a snort as I covered my mouth. "I can't believe you just said that."

"What can I say? They're magically delicious." He pulled my hand away to reveal my smile. "Do you need a reminder?" Holy shit! His flaccid cock began getting hard again.

"Oh, trust me, I know firsthand that they are, but I'm always hungry for more of you." He pulled me down and pinned me with his body.

"I'll give you as many servings as you want, but first I want to know what had my lack in fits and giggles."

"Lack?" I asked as he brushed up against me.

"Just tell me before I tickle it out of you." What the hell is a lack? He didn't seem like he was going to tell me, but I swear he blushed when I asked him. He began to tickle me, and I couldn't handle it. I think he was trying to distract me from my question, and it worked.

"Okay. Okay. I'll tell you. Roll over." He did what I asked, and I sat up. Once again I trailed my finger down the side of his V that was closest to me. "Promise you won't laugh at me."

"You were the one that started this by laughing at my family jewels."

"First of all I wasn't laughing at your manhood. I was thinking about Natalie."

"I don't know if this is getting any better, love." He's called me lovely before but never love. I swear my heart skipped a beat. "You were thinking about Natalie while you were in bed with me. Should Gabe and I be worried?"

"Stop," I said as I playfully hit him. "Nat is always complaining that this needs a name." I ran both of my pointer fingers down his sexy V lines. "I mean come on, love handles aren't even sexy, and they have a name." I was tempted to lick the area of topic, so I did.

"I don't care what you call it as long as it makes you want to do things like that to me." I smiled as I bent forward and licked the other line. He groaned as his phone began to ring. "Forget it." It stopped, but before I could continue, it started ringing again. "It might be important." It stopped again.

"Nothing is more important than you." Where did this man come from? His phone rang again, and I bent over to retrieve it for him. I looked at the screen.

"Oh, shit, it's Nat." I passed it to him like it was a hot potato.

He glanced at the screen before swiping his finger across it. "Good morning, Natalie." I strained to try and hear what she was saying. "Yes, she's fine." He paused again. "Yes, I will tell her. Oh and Natalie—" he winked at me "—it's called an Apollo's belt or Adonis belt." I think I heard her laughing. "Goodbye, Natalie."

"I can't believe you told her that." I pouted. "What did she want?"

"She told me to remind you that you have a fitting at the bridal salon in forty-five minutes."

I jumped out of the bed. "Son-of-a-bitch. I'll never make it. Call her back and see if she can change it." I scrambled around the room looking for my clothes. Declan just laced his hands behind his head and laughed at me.

"You'll make it." If I had the time, I would kiss that sexy grin right off his face.

"I need to clean up the kitchen, and I don't have any clean clothes."

"I had Kiki make up a bag for you and send it over last night after I found you. I'll clean the kitchen before I go. Eric will take you to your appointment." I was overwhelmed. "Hop in the shower, and I will bring you your bag. Nat is likely to kill the both of us if you don't make it." I had so many questions for him, but I knew that he was right.

"Fine, but only if you let me take care of that little problem for you in the shower." He was naked and still rock hard. I couldn't just leave him hanging like that. It would have to be quick, but I was up for the challenge.

"Little? That's twice in one day, Lemon Drop." Nothing about Declan Hayes is little. Nothing.

#

Part of me was sad that Declan didn't join me in the shower, but the other part of me knew I would never make it to the dress fitting if he did. When I stepped out of the shower, I saw the Louis Vuitton overnight bag sitting just inside the bathroom door. I knew instantly it wasn't a fake from a back alley in Chinatown. Good lord the man has expensive taste. From my time in retail I knew this bag cost over $3,500. I lifted it up on the counter, and when I began to unzip it, I noticed the monogrammed tag with my fucking initials. Holy shit. With shaky hands, I opened it, almost afraid of what else I might find.

I didn't have time to dwell. Nat would kill me if I were late, and I was already failing as her maid of honor. Plus, I hate girls that get so wrapped up in relationships that they forget their friends. I shimmied into the barely-there matching lace bra and panties and then slipped into the perfect pair of skinny jeans and V-neck cashmere sweater, the green color reminded me of a certain Irishman. Everything fit perfectly, even the boots which I knew Nat would be drooling over the second she saw them. The suitcase contained everything I needed including a brand new hair brush, makeup, and even a large bottle of the perfume I normally wear. It is a luxury I can't afford, but one that I also can't live without, so seeing the biggest bottle they sell almost brought tears to my eyes. It's like no detail passes him by—I think it's the photographer in him. I needed to ask how he did all of it and how he even found me in the first place. With that thought, I put the final touches on my makeup and left the bathroom.

Declan was whistling a tune that I didn't recognize while washing dishes at the sink. _God, the man makes everything look sexy_. Just the sight of him made every part of me tingle. "You look great, but I think I like you in my shirt better," he said with a playful wink. Of course I looked great—I was wearing labels that most girls only dream about. I wanted to argue with him about the expensive clothes and toiletries, but I knew I didn't have time. "Eric just called; he is downstairs waiting for you."

"Thank you," was all I said when I kissed him goodbye. I think he understood that I was thanking him for so many things. It was hard to imagine that ten days ago I didn't even know the man that now filled my life. I couldn't help but chuckle at myself on the way down in the elevator. I had come to his apartment to try to escape him. That is laughable. Declan is with me everywhere and finding me here, in his home, had only served to bring us even closer together than before.

"Good morning, Miss Barnes," Eric said as he opened the door for me. I felt bad that I had never asked him his name before.

"Good morning, Eric. Please call me Emily." He closed the door behind me after I slid into the warm town car. I had to admit that it was nice not to have to ride the subway.

I arrived at Enchanted Bridal right on time. Nat, Gwen, Marion, Amber, and I did that "as seen on T.V." thing while looking for her perfect dress, but we had left the bridal store giant without having had that "moment" that every bride dreams of, so we decided to try somewhere else. That's when we found Enchanted Bridal, or should I say Becca and Bonnie. Apparently, the shop had been in the family for generations, and the mother/daughter duo were not only hilarious, but they knew what they were doing. Before they even showed Nat one dress, they asked her to close her eyes and imagine her wedding day. With a huge smile on her face, she described exactly what she saw. I had to admit that the image she detailed was beautiful. Bonnie did one of those little golf claps when Nat was finished, and then she looked at Becca and at the very same time they both said the name of the same dress. Nat figured it was a sign that it was meant to be. I never believed in that "moment" until we all had tears in our eyes when Nat came out with the dress that the dynamic duo had suggested. They were right; it was perfect.

The bell chimed above me as my best friend put her lips together and whistled when I walked in the door. "Wow, look at you. I thought I was supposed to be the one that was glowing."

"I think that's only if you're pregnant," I retorted.

"Who's pregnant?" Bonnie asked as she came out from behind a curtain. "Mom, we've got another one with a bun in the oven," she yelled over her shoulder.

"Shit, Nat, way to go. Nobody is preggo, Becca," I yelled just like Bonnie had at her mother. From the first time we met them, it was like we had known them forever. Maybe it was because they treat everyone just like they are family.

"Sorry, but look at you. I've never seen you look this happy." I was happy, and I couldn't hide my smile.

"Oh my God, you're in love," Bonnie said as she bounced back and forth like she was going to do a cheer. "Mom, get that new Wang out; it's perfect for Emily."

A thud and several curses were heard before the mother hen appeared from the back of the store with an "I told you" so look written all over her face. During my last visit, she had asked me when they could expect to see us back for me. I had scoffed at her and told her in no uncertain terms that I would never be the one getting married. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride was the perfect mantra for me. Now the idea of getting married wasn't so repulsive to me, as long as it was Declan standing at the other end of the aisle, of course. The thought of not having Declan Hayes in my life forever was scarier than any walk down the aisle could ever be.

"We just met," I told them all. If I didn't do something quick, these three would have the entire wedding planned before I could get out of the store.

"Fiddlesticks," Becca told me. "When you find the one, you just know." Bonnie and Nat both nodded in agreement.

"I swear to God, Emily, you should have seen him last night. He looked more like a Flaming Doctor Pepper than an Irish Car Bomb."

"He came to your apartment?" I asked. I guess I hadn't been very good about keeping Nat and Gabe out of it after all. I should have just sent Declan a text before I turned off my phone. Guilt for my actions flooded me again. I wasn't trying to hurt Declan, but I had.

"Of course he did, M; he's in love with you." Becca and Bonnie watched like they needed a big bowl of buttered popcorn. "He probably would have torn the door down if I hadn't opened up for him. Declan Hayes is used to getting what he wants." Our audience gasped when they heard his name causing both Nat and me to look at them.

"What? He's all over page six," Becca said with a shrug.

"And he's hotter than Hades," said Bonnie as she and her mother gave each other a fist bump. The idea that they both found him attractive was a little disturbing.

"Are we going to try on dresses or talk about my boyfriend?" I wasn't sure which idea I liked less—Declan on page six for all to see, or my friends crushing on what was mine. _Is he my boyfriend? I haven't really thought about it. It just kind of came out, but it feels right. We haven't really talked about it, do people even do that? What would we even say? Will you be my boyfriend? Shit, that sounds so junior high. The man did tell me that I'm the only woman he has ever had in his bed. Do we really need to put on a label on what we have together?_

"Both," all three women answered simultaneously before breaking into a round of thunderous laughter.

It felt good to be back at the apartment. I rushed through my baking after I talked to Declan. He asked me to go out with him to dinner. I was cautious when I complained that I didn't have anything to wear. I didn't want Declan to spend any more money on me than he already had. He told me that it was casual and that I could wear jeans if I wanted to which was funny because I never wanted to take the jeans he had given me earlier today off. They fit like a glove. I knew the moment I slipped into them that my standard forty-dollar pairs from Gap would never hold a candle to the overpriced pair. It was beginning to seem like since meeting Declan, nothing in my life would ever be the same again.

Declan sent me a text that he was running late and said that Eric would be downstairs waiting to pick me up. I decided to pair my new jeans and boots with a three-quarter sleeve, white, chiffon blouse that had black piping around the neckline and sleeves. It was casual but dressed up the jeans. Billy smiled and did his customary hat tip. "I'm glad you're back, Miss Emily." Apparently Declan had been a bit of a bull in a China shop last night when he couldn't find me.

"I'm sorry if I caused any trouble, Billy."

"I've known him for a long time, Emily. I don't think I've ever seen him like that before. I know people think he's got everything and..." Billy trailed off. I knew exactly what he was trying to say.

"I know you can't judge a book by its cover, Billy." He smiled again but before he closed the car door, I added, "Thank you for caring about him, Billy."

"It's not just him that I care about." Yeah, Billy was a keeper, and once again I found myself thinking that he was perfect for Maggie. Eric was playing the radio station I requested this morning; it seemed that Declan wasn't the only one who paid attention to details. Eric pulled into an alley that was behind Swayed. I don't know if my pulse increased because I was excited or because I was dreading the thought of having another run-in with Marissa. Eric opened my door for me and then opened the back door of the restaurant for me. I loved everything about it; the movements of the people rushing around the kitchen, the sounds of dishes being washed, the sizzle of food being cooked, and don't even get me started on the amazing smells.

"There she is," I heard Wheeler say before I even noticed that Declan, Nat, and Gabe were all seated at a table in the kitchen. _Holy crap, the chef's table at Swayed. Fuckity, fuck, fuck_. Nat looked like she had just won the lottery, and Gabe, well, Gabe is happy if Nat is happy. A happy Nat with the prospect of great food, great booze, and good company was even better.

"I hope you don't mind. I figured I owed them after I almost got them evicted last night," Declan said as he guided me into the booth and kissed my cheek. I couldn't speak.

"To the Irish Car Bomb," Gabe said with a raised pint glass. Declan handed me a glass of wine, and we joined in the toast.

"Here, here," Nat added as we all clinked our glasses together.

"Slawn-cha," Declan added, and also it reminded me of the first time we were here. I took his hand and held it under the table as we both took a drink of the delicious Syrah that I knew Declan had ordered just for me. Maybe I wasn't the only one thinking of that night.

"I'm so glad we are doing this," Nat said after she practically downed her entire glass of wine. I shot her a warning glance, and she smirked back at me.

"I'm just glad it's not another blind date. I was running out of single friends," Gabe said as I groaned and shook my head.

"This sounds like a story I've got to hear," Declan said with a squeeze of my hand.

I knew I liked Wheeler, because just at that moment, he arrived at the table. He welcomed us to his kitchen and told us all about the tasting menu he was doing for us. Everything sounded delicious, and when he got to dessert he mentioned the star of the show would be a new creation created just for Swayed by Mama M's. Declan had dropped off the cakes to Logan once he left the apartment. I hadn't heard anything from him yet, so I was already thinking of other things to try or changes I could make if he didn't like what I had come up with.

"I knew he would love it," Declan whispered in my ear. My five senses were on complete overload. It reminded me of a poem that Libby and I had learned in elementary school by an unknown writer.

**_I see with my eyes_**

_**I hear with my ears**_

_**I taste with my tongue**_

_**I smell with my nose**_

_**I touch with my fingers and my toes.**_

_**  
**_

Our teacher had given us an assignment to draw an imaginary creature. We had to show how it smelled, saw, heard, tasted, and touched. I had completely forgotten about it until that moment. The only thing that could make the night more special would be having my sister with me too. Then again, maybe the sensory overload was just making me overly emotional.

#

"I'm pissed as hell at you, missy." Greta has that look on her face, and her arms are crossed. I've never been on the receiving end of her scowl, and it scares the shit out of me. Mama M's would be nothing without her. She has supported me since the day Maggie introduced us. I can't afford to lose her business let alone the encouragement she has always given me. I can't for the life of me figure out what I could have possibly done to upset her. Maybe she's mad that I've been bringing in so much more product. She always used to tell me to bring as much as I could. I never even asked her, I just start making more when I moved into the Hayes' apartment. I assumed she was happy about it. I guess that's what happens when you assume. I've made an ass out of me and well, me. It seemed like minutes of silence passed between us, but I'm sure it was only seconds before she doubled over and started laughing. _What the hell?_ When she finally righted herself, she was actually wiping tears away from her eyes. "Oh my God, you should have seen the look on your face. I thought you were going to shit yourself." She was still laughing. Customers were looking at her.

If I didn't respect her so much I would have told her to kiss my ass.

"Oh come on, Emily. Lighten up. I really had you." I'd never seen Greta like that before. She was right, she did get me pretty good. I instantly relaxed, and she hooked my arm to walk toward her office in the back of the bustling store. "I wasn't kidding, though, I am mad at you."

"Why?"

"You stole my best customer." He had told me stories of nearly getting into fights and bribing other customers for the last Mama M's muffin in the bakery case. I thought he was messing with me. The smile that crossed my face was instantaneous. _Declan_. I can't explain the reaction because I had never experienced it before. Just the thought of him had me smiling like a header. _Shit, I'm even starting to think like him. A header, yes I'm definitely becoming a nutcase. This is completely crazy. I'm using Irish slang._ I'd known the man for less than two weeks, and he consumed my every thought. When I slept, I dreamed of him. When I was away from him, I started counting the minutes until we could be together again. And when we were together, I never wanted to be away from him. When did I become this girl? I'd becoming one of the "clingers" that Matty was always complaining about. "Hello? Emily?" I heard a tap, tap, tap and turned my gaze toward a concerned-looking Greta. "There you are. Where did you go?"

"I'm not sure." I never wanted this. Maybe I was a fool to think that I would never feel this way. My mother had told my sister and me repeatedly that she doesn't regret a single moment of her life with my father. I always just thought that she was trying to protect us. Like she didn't want us to think she wasted her life. She always used the classic Alfred Lord Tennyson quote "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I didn't believe her until right then. _Is that what this is? Love? Is that what I feel for Declan? How can it be?_ Tap, tap, tap. I shook my head to try and clear it. Greta's closed hand was inches from knocking on the wood of her desk again. Shit, I did it again. "Sorry." I gave her my best smile.

_Humph_. She fell back in her chair with an amused look. "Well, I'll be damned. Looks like I owe Maggie twenty."

"What? You had a bet? What was it?" Maggie would be back in a few days, and as much as I missed her, I was afraid of what her return would do to the bubble that Declan and I were in. My phone disrupted our conversation. Greta was just saved by the bell. "Sorry, I need to take this. Hi, Logan." I couldn't be more excited about his phone call and by the time we disconnected I was practically doing cartwheels. "Thank you so much. Yes. You bet. OK. Bye."

"I take it that was Logan Wheeler." She had a grin on her face like she knew exactly what I was so excited about.

"You knew?" I was too happy to be mad that she didn't tell me the second she saw me. It was great news for all of us.

"Yes, I got a call this morning, but Logan wanted to be the one to tell you. I'm so proud of you." I couldn't help but cry. It was a dream come true. She passed me a tissue, and I wiped my eyes. _Great, now I'm a cry baby_ and _a clinger_. Could anything be worse?

In the past, I would have called Nat and my mom to tell them my fantastic news, but this news I want to share with Declan. None of it would be happening without him. I decided to celebrate by making him a special dinner. After making all the purchases I needed, I left the market. Declan's building was right across the street. Snow was lightly falling, and I couldn't help but tip my head back, close my eyes, and open my mouth to collect some of the delicate snowflakes. It was when I opened my eyes back up that I recognized a familiar car parked in front of the building. Eric was leaning casually against it and for a moment I wondered if he was waiting for me, but before I began to move toward him, he righted himself and stiffened. I followed his gaze until it landed on Declan. Declan and the beautiful blonde woman that he had his arm around. They were coming out of the building and they were laughing. How ironic that they were coming out of the Lifesaver building? He sure as hell wasn't saving my life. I gasped and stepped back so that I wouldn't be seen. Eric opened the car door, and they both slid in the same warm back seat that we rode in last night. Was he holding her hand too? The entry to the market was busy, and I wasn't paying attention to anything but the black town car across the street, so when I was bumped into, I lost the grip on my bags, and the contents scattered all over the sidewalk, just like the broken pieces of my heart. I scrambled to try and pick up my belongings, but Eric caught a glimpse of me as he rounded the car. I shook my head at him, and then I held my breath, but seconds after he got in the car it moved into traffic. I don't think I breathed until it was out of sight. I walked in a daze the three and a half miles that separated the market from the Fifth Avenue apartment. I was numb. I tried to convince myself that it was because of the cold, but if I was being honest with myself, I knew that wasn't the reason. Tennyson and Mom are wrong. If you never love, you can never feel the loss of losing that love. I was tempted not to go back to the apartment, but that didn't get me very far last time. I decided the best way to handle it would be to return to the apartment, thank Declan for everything he had done for me, pack my belongings, and leave. Happily ever after? I didn't need a man or anyone else to get mine.

"She's here," I think Billy said before putting down the phone and rushing toward me to take my bags. _Shit, I forgot I even had them._ Numb. Everything was numb. The elevator dinged and seconds later I was floating. Everything was a blur.

"Mac soith!" he cursed as I nestled into him. I couldn't help it. He smelled so good, and he was so soft and warm yet strong and muscular at the same time. "She's freezing." His voice was panicked. "I've got you, Lemon Drop."

"Should I call someone? An ambulance? "

"No. I've got her." The sound of his voice sent a chill through me. He sounded as desperate as I felt. I knew I shouldn't be taking comfort in his arms right then, but I was just so tired. I just couldn't help it. I decided to close my eyes. _Five minutes. Just five minutes, and I'll do exactly what I planned. I've got this._

My eyes closed. I was naked, he was naked, and he was touching me everywhere. It felt so good, so right. As usual his touch ignited something inside of me, but it was different. Usually, we combusted, but this was a slow burn. The ice that ran through my veins was replaced by fire. A fire that was sure to scorch me. My eyes fluttered open. Sunlight flooded the room. Good, not much time had passed. I was alone. I wasn't naked. I was in my favorite pair of jammies, the ones I knew I should get rid of, but I couldn't because they were so damn comfortable. It was just a dream. An amazing dream, where he told me over and over again how much he loved me, but in my dream he didn't just say it with words. He showed me with his actions. He touched every inch of my body. He warmed me to the depths of my soul. It was a dream that I would never forget. A dream that I would take with me to remind me of what it felt like to be his. To be loved by a man who said that he didn't know how to love.

I stood looking out the windows that overlooked the park; it had stopped snowing. The afternoon sun was shining, and a light dusting of snow still covered everything. It was beautiful. For a moment I wished that Declan was there to take in the view with me, and then I remembered the gorgeous woman he was laughing and smiling with. All the warmth I was feeling suddenly left my body. A chill ran down my spine. They looked so comfortable together, so happy. How could I be so wrong? Declan had called me his lack, his girlfriend. He told me he had never had one or wanted one before, and with his confession the last wall I had up around my heart came tumbling down. For once in my life I accepted a title I never thought I wanted. Not only was I his, but he was mine. It was a first for both of us. Knowing that we were both new to it seemed to make things a little bit easier. Just as quickly as it began, it ended, and that totally sucked. I needed to get out of here, move on with my life, and never look back. At least Declan would be gone this time of day. I didn't even remember making it back to the apartment. Walking back in the snow probably wasn't my best idea, and honestly it did little to get him off my mind. The dream I had didn't really help either. It was like he made love to me, but without the sex. I'm not sure that even made sense, but it was the only way I could describe how the dream made me feel. It was like he was giving himself to me completely. For a moment, I felt like the couple in the photo above his bed, but Declan was no longer capturing them walking away from him. We were the couple, and we were walking toward something. Our future, maybe—together, hand in hand. It didn't feel like an ending, but like a beginning. _Ugh! I have to get out of here._

I walked out of his room on a mission. "Oh good, you're up."

"Holy shit!" I screeched out as I covered my chest with my hands. My heart was racing. He scared the crap out of me, just like the first time I met him. It was a good thing I didn't have an egg in my hand this time. "What the hell are you doing here?" I couldn't help but notice how sexy he looked as he stood from his spot behind his computer at the kitchen counter with a smile. Fuck, he looked delicious. He didn't have a shirt on, and the top button of his jeans was undone. That damn Apollo's belt was mocking me from the top of his low-rise jeans. His hair had that wild just-fucked look, and he was wearing glasses that I had never seen before. _Christ, is it hot in here?_ It took everything in me not to fan myself. He had a wicked look in his eye. I swear the prick got a thrill out of terrifying me—so much for leaving him a note. "What are you..." I didn't finish asking him what he was doing there. He had every right to be there. I was just a guest. "I just took a little power nap. I'll be out of your hair soon."

The bastard began to chuckle as he strode toward me. "A nap? You're kidding, right? You've been asleep since yesterday, and I love it when you're in my hair." Thoughts of me pulling on his hair and him groaning in satisfaction as he pounded into me almost made me miss his comment about my nap. Almost.

For the second time, I screeched, "What the fuck?" I began frantically looking for my phone.

He followed behind me with the damn chuckle. "It's in our room." _Crap, crap, crap._ Our _room?_ I turned toward him and narrowed my eyes as I passed by him. He caught my wrist and pulled me into his bare chest. So much for a quick and painless exit. I could barely breathe, let alone think being this close to him.

I tried to push away, and I swear as much as my brain wanted to fight it, my body just automatically melted into him. "Why the hell did you let me sleep that long?"

"It seemed like you needed it. Are you going to tell me why you walked over three miles in the snow in those damn shoes and a cotton hoodie?" Okay, walking from the market to the apartment in a pair of Chucks with no jacket in a snowstorm probably wasn't my best decision ever, I already admitted that to myself, but I'm an adult, and I didn't need him or anyone else to tell me what I should or should not do . I would make my own choices. He was not the boss of me. I didn't need him treating me like I'm an errant child. How did he know I was at the market anyway?

I pushed away from him. "No, I'm not. I need to call Greta. She's probably not too pleased with me right now." Yes, Greta was my friend, but this was business, and she depended on me.

"Why?" he asked like I had no reason to call Greta. I didn't think I should have to explain since he was a professional.

Didn't anyone ever tell him that hell hath no fury? "Because not all of us were born with a silver spoon in our mouths. I have a commitment, and I take my commitments seriously." I regretted my words as soon as they came flying out of my mouth. Declan worked hard, and I knew that he cared about the people that work for him. It's one of the things that I loved about him. _Love? Shit, shit, shit._

"Ouch. That hurt, Lemon Drop. Exactly what commitment do you think I don't take seriously?" He looked like I just ran him over with Matt's delivery truck, and it killed me that I had said that to him. Then her perfect smile flashed before my eyes, and I couldn't feel bad for him. I let him in. He held my heart in his hands. He didn't cherish and protect it. He stomped on it. I suddenly remembered that what I thought we shared was all a lie. He wouldn't be crushed when I walked out the door, hell he would probably have a good laugh with his beautiful blonde in our bed the second I left. _Fuck! It's not_ ours _!_ It was all his, everything but me, that is. If only I could convince myself of that.

"You really want to know that answer to that?" I yelled as I bypassed his room and entered the guest room I barely occupied. I ripped my old suitcase out of the closet and began haphazardly shoving clothes in it as quickly as I could. I purposely left the designer overnight bag behind.

"Yes," he said through gritted teeth as he just as quickly began removing items from my suitcase before he grabbed my wrists to make me stop what I was doing. "Would you just tell me what has you so cheesed off so that I can fix it?" Why was it that every single time he used a saying I had never heard before I couldn't help but smile? Where did he come up with this stuff? In that briefest moment I relaxed, and he pulled me on the bed beside him. "I can't fix it if I don't even know what I did." His words were so tender, and he still had that hurt look in his eyes. I took a deep breath, and he put his forehead against mine. "I've never done this before, Emily. Talk to me." He rubbed his nose against me, and it made me melt.

"I saw you outside of your apartment yesterday." A tear fell from my eye as I said the words. Why did it hurt so much? _Because you trusted him_ , the little voice inside my head told me. What happened next was a shock. The fucking bastard started laughing again.

He forced me to get dressed. I swear for a guy that wears a suit and tie he's strong. "Where are we going?" I demanded. He didn't answer. After I dressed, he left my room. I didn't waste any time and quickly started re-packing when he re-entered and tossed me over his shoulder to carry me out of the apartment. He refused to put me down as we descended to the lobby, and I heard several gasps and more chuckles as we made our way through the lobby.

"Good morning, sir. Good morning, Miss Emily. I think I'm starting to see more of your back side than your front," Billy said with a full belly laugh as Declan practically tossed me into the back of his waiting car. I moved as far away from him as possible.

"To the scene of the crime, Eric," Declan said like he found this all so amusing. Eric looked up at me in the rearview mirror with regret in his eyes.

"Why don't you just tell me where we are going, you big jerk?" I said with a pout and my arms crossed over my chest.

"Because this is so much more fun. Why don't you tell Eric and me exactly what you saw yesterday?" Nothing. "Eric? How about you? Do you know what Miss Barnes thinks she saw yesterday?" _Oh, shit_. I didn't want Eric to get in trouble because of me.

"This doesn't have anything to do with him, Declan." Eric winked at me in the rearview mirror. _Ugh! Men!_ Luckily, it was a short ride.

Eric stopped the car right outside of Declan's apartment, but instead of entering the building we walked down to one of the street-level storefronts. The windows were covered, so I had no idea where we were going. A bell rang when he practically pushed me through the door. She was the first thing I noticed, and she had a massive smile on her face. _Really? What the fuck?_ I tried to turn to leave, but Declan's strong arms came around me as he forced me farther inside. I always had a good idea how Mom felt the few times she has been forced to be in the same room as dad's plaything, Shelly, but now I knew exactly how she felt. The feeling made me hate the woman _and_ Shelly even more than I already did before. Why was he torturing me like this? First, I felt his breath against my ear, and then he whispered, "I wouldn't do that to you. Ever." He squeezed me tighter that I thought possible. "Ever." If he hadn't been holding me, I probably would have fallen.

"You're going to break her, Dec." Other than Wheeler, it was the first time I ever heard anyone be so informal with Declan. As she came closer, I realized she was even more beautiful than I had first thought. Her pale-grey, wool coat fit her perfectly, and her makeup was done to perfection. Everything about her was expensive; even her perfume that I recognized from my days behind the perfume counter. She was exactly the type of woman you would expect to see on the arm of Declan Hayes. I was so far out of my league. Declan released his grip on me and before I knew what was happening, she was hugging me. "Thank you," she whispered so that only I could hear her. _Maybe this was all just a dream_. The weirdest dream I have ever had in my entire life. What the hell was she thanking me for?

"That's enough, Brit." Declan pulled me back into his arms.

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't help myself," she explained as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on. "She's gorgeous, Dec," she said as she looked me over from head to toe which I found totally amusing because I didn't have on a stitch of makeup, my hair was up in a messy bun on the top of my head, and I was just wearing a pair of jeans with my favorite sweater.

"Am I awake?" I asked, and they both started laughing at my odd question.

"Do you want me to pinch you?" the woman who was apparently named Brit asked with a sparkle in her eye.

"Hands off my woman," Declan told her playfully. "You're awake, Lemon Drop, and I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine, Brittany Klein. Brit, this is Emily Barnes." Friend? It was hard to believe that a man like Declan could be just friends with such a beautiful woman, but the vibe I was getting off of them was that they were really just friends. In fact, it seemed like Brit was more interested in me than Declan. His words bounced around my head, "I wouldn't do that to you." He knew what my father's betrayal had done to me, and more than anything I wanted to believe him. No, I _had_ to believe him.

"Oh my God, I need to meet Matt. I need a nickname. I love Irish Car Bomb and Lemon Drop." Obviously Declan had been talking to Brit. I thought only girls did that. Why was it that she knew about me, but I knew nothing about her?

"Focus, Brit," Declan scolded as he let me go, but laced our fingers together, keeping us connected. It was only then that I took a look at the space we were in. It wasn't large, but it was cute. The floors were set in a white and black checkered pattern. Some tables and chairs were stacked up in the corner. On the other side of the room was a glass display case and counter and behind it was a set of swinging double doors.

"Oh yeah." Brit took my free hand in hers and began to pull all of us farther into the space. She baffled me. Her appearance was one of an uppity Fifth Avenue Stepford type, but her behavior was one of a teenage girl who was just told she was going to meet the members of her favorite boy band. "Do you love it?" she asked. "Don't worry, we can change anything you don't like. Lickety Split." _What_? "This is so much fun," she told me as we rounded the corner, and Declan and her each pushed back one of the double doors to reveal a commercial kitchen. All the air left my body. It was perfect. I should have taken up Brit's offer to pinch me because there was no way this wasn't a dream.

"Do you like it?" Declan asked as I stood and looked in awe. A six-burner commercial gas range with dual ovens was in the center of the kitchen. To the left was a walk-in refrigerator and a convection oven. Brit and Declan released my hands as I took several steps forward. The space held every kitchen gadget a baker could ever dream of. What could I say? I placed both of my hands on the top of my head and began to pace back and forth. "I think we need a minute, Brit."

"Did I get something wrong?" Brit asked with concern in her voice. Call me crazy, but I missed the excited school girl. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Declan's phone began to ring.

"Excuse me. I need to take this," Declan declared as he looked at the screen on his phone and left Brit and me alone in the kitchen. The doors swung closed behind him. A mix of emotions whirled around in my head.

"Before, what were you thanking me for?"

Brit approached me and took both of my hands in hers. "You have no idea what you've done, do you?" She wasn't angry, so I didn't think it was a bad thing. "I never thought I would see him like this," she added with a squeeze of my hands. "Don't take this away from him," she pleaded. "I haven't seen him this happy since before his Noni passed away when he was thirteen. I don't want to lose him again. Let him do this for you."

"I'm sorry about that." Declan's mood had definitely shifted. He walked into the room like he was prepared to do battle. The Lord knows that's exactly what I was gearing up for before my conversation with Brittany. Now I didn't know what I was going to do.

"Oh crap, look at the time. I need to meet my girlfriend, Sadie." I guess I wasn't wrong about her having more interest in me than in Declan. She air-kissed me on both cheeks and then did the same to Declan before demanding we meet for drinks later this week and that I had to bring along Matt, Nat, and Gabe.

"Wow," I said once she was gone. Brit was a force of nature, a hurricane.

"You can say that again," Declan agreed with a chuckle.

"Wow." I tried to formulate what I wanted to say.

"Before you say anything, let me tell you that this is a business proposition. You need a space, and I have it." I had almost forgotten that he owned the building. Yes, this was part of my five-year plan, but the first thing I had to do was find a place to live. Maggie was due back the next day, and Declan's parents wouldn't stay away forever. "Once the piece runs in The Post, you'll need the space." How did he know about that? I hadn't told him about the call I got from Logan yesterday. Apparently a critic tasted the Irish Car Bomb cake by Mama M's and wanted to run a piece on it. Logan also asked me to create another dessert inspired by a cocktail. It might just be my new signature line. Declan might be right, but I can't afford this. Not yet.

"I need to find an apartment. Maggie will be back tomorrow."

"First off, Maggie won't be back tomorrow. I sent her and your mother on a well-deserved cruise." His admission blew me away; those two have always talked about going on a cruise together. "Secondly, you belong with me in our bed." Talk about a one, two combination. I literally had to bend over to try and catch my breath. I swear my life flashed before my eyes while I was bent over. My grandmother and I were in her kitchen, music was blasting, and she was telling me to dance like nobody was watching and to live each day like it was my last. Then my mom was wiping my tears when my dad didn't show up for something. She told me that love is complicated, but that as long as the happy tears outnumbered the sad tears that it was worth it. The next image I had was of two little boys; I'm guessing Buck and Bruce, making snow angels at Mr. and Mrs. Stuart's Christmas tree farm with Declan at my side. At that moment, I realized that tomorrow isn't promised, but that what I had today was pretty spectacular, and that I was going to enjoy every moment of it. You see, Brit wasn't the only one that got something back. When Declan came into my life, I got me back too, and I had him to thank for that.

Declan watched me carefully as I stood back upright. "Since this is a business arrangement, Mr. Hayes, I'm sure you won't mind me insisting that we sign a lease agreement."

"Of course not, Miss Barnes." He looked relieved. I'm sure he was prepared to fight me.

I began to move toward him or maybe I should use the word stalk. "I don't seem to have my checkbook on me, so I hope you will be agreeable to other forms of a down payment to secure the property." I almost lost the seductive look I was trying to give him when he raised his brows up and down before replying to my offer.

"From you and only you, all forms of payment will be accepted." Suddenly he lifted me and planted me firmly on the counter. I spread my legs, and he stepped between them and pulled me to the edge of the counter so that we were pressed together. My hands went to his hair while our mouths met. I wrapped my legs around him as he parted my lips with his tongue. The kiss was deep and hot. My body was on fire. I needed him, and based on the hardness that I could feel pushed up against me, I knew that he felt the same way. My hands moved to the hem of his shirt.

"I'm pretty sure this is against health department regulation," Wheeler snickered from his spot just inside the kitchen doors. _Fuck_. We broke the kiss, but Declan only moved slightly. He put his forehead against mine. Both of us were panting.

"Remind me next time to lock the door." The promise of a next time did nothing to cool me down. This caused Logan to burst into laughter while Declan scowled at him.

"Priceless, buddy. I'm just glad Gary and I didn't show up a few minutes later. That would have been an entirely different story for the paper. Holy shit, this was my life, and it was all because of Declan. One thank you was never going to be enough.

#

Declan excused himself so that Gary could interview Logan and me for the paper. I certainly wasn't expecting this kind of attention, but I had to admit that the timing was perfect since I was going to insist on paying rent for my new kitchen. It occurred to me that I might be able to subsidize my rent by subleasing the space to others when I wasn't using it. After all I couldn't be the only small business in the city in need of commercial kitchen space with limited funds available.

Gary was a robust man, who looked like he thoroughly enjoyed his job of reviewing eateries all over the city. As we talked, I decided to move forward with the idea of a drink-inspired dessert line. Gary left Logan and me alone after letting us know that he felt he had everything he needed for his article.

"Logan, are you okay with another chocolate-based dessert for your menu?" I asked hesitantly once we were alone.

"You're kidding me, right? Who doesn't like chocolate? What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking about doing a Nat-inspired drink as kind of a wedding gift."

"So, I know that you're Lemon Drop, and Declan is Irish Car Bomb, but I don't think I've heard Nat or Gabe's nicknames yet," he said with a questioning smirk.

"Gabe put the kibosh on Matt's name for Nat pretty quick and Gabe doesn't have one since he and Matt have been friends since they were kids." Gabe and Nat fell for each other hard and fast. I think it's sweet that he didn't want his best friend to call "his girl" that.

"Do tell, Emily." He must have seen the blush on my cheeks.

"He called her Screaming Orgasm," I said quickly and quietly without making eye contact. His laughter filled the air as soon as the words left my mouth. When I looked up, he was doubled over. I can say one thing is very true about Matty's nicknames; he calls them as he sees them, or, in this case, hears them. He and I know for a fact that Natalie is a screamer. It's another one of the reasons I didn't want to stay with her and Gabe. I value my sleep too much. Not that I'm getting a lot of sleep with Declan, but it's different when you are the one receiving the orgasms instead of listening to your best friend. I don't know how their neighbors put up with them.

"Now that I've got to taste," he said as he wiped a tear from his eye.

"She's taken, but I'll be happy to let you taste mine," I teased without thinking first. "Oh shit, that didn't come out right." It sounded like I was flirting with Logan which wasn't my intention at all. His laughter once again filled the room.

"Oh my God, you are precious. No wonder why Declan is totally in love with you. If that bastard screws this up, I'll be waiting to scoop you up." I didn't know what caught me more off-guard: his second friend in one day saying that Declan is in love with me or that Logan would be interested in me if Declan weren't in the picture. I admit that Logan is hot—I'd be blind if I said that he wasn't—but he is a little rough around the edges for me. He's got this rocker, bad boy vibe going on that my sister would probably die for. I never realized I was a suit and tie girl, but something about Declan with his tousled hair, loose tie hanging around his neck, and five o'clock shadow melts the panties right off of me. Maybe it's just him because that happens when he's wearing jeans and a Henley too. No maybe about it, it's just him.

"I'm not ice cream that can just be scooped up, Logan," I scolded him with my hands on my hips.

"No, you're certainly not. Let's get out of here so that you can work on that orgasm," he teased. _Ha-ha, very funny._

After a quick stop to apologize to Greta, which she said was not needed, I returned to the apartment and did my baking for the next day before starting on my latest creation. This cake is simpler than the other, but the mixture of the Kahlua liqueur, vanilla pudding, sour cream, and chocolate are a delicious combination, if I do say so myself. It is decadent, but still not scream-worthy, so after recalling my earlier conversation with Logan I decided to play with the ice cream maker that I spied in the pantry. The addition of the Amaretto-flavored sweet cream and then the topping of toasted almond brittle had me giddy with anticipation. Declan came in the door. He had those sexy as fuck glasses on again. _Yep, it's totally him_. My panties didn't melt off, but I swear they were instantly drenched. He dropped his briefcase and continued toward me with a predatory look in his eye. I couldn't help but lick my lips as he got closer, and I shit you not, he growled and then he picked me up.

His lips crashed against mine. We devoured each other as he carried me toward the bedroom. He tossed me on the bed like I didn't weigh anything. "I need to be inside of you now." I don't know if the tone of his voice or the look in his eyes was hotter. We both quickly began to strip. His cock was harder than I've ever seen before. He climbed on the bed and instantly flipped me over. I guess he wasn't kidding. "My langer has been hard all day thinking about this arse. This is going to be hard and fast, Lemon Drop." Langer, I loved the way it rolled off his tongue. It sounded so much better than dick. He no sooner said the words than he slammed into me, filling me completely. _Holy shit, he wasn't kidding._ His pace was frantic, and I swear I was going to have bruises on my hips where he was holding me, but I didn't care. I could tell that he was close. "Touch yourself," he commanded, and I immediately obeyed without question.

"Oh god," I cried out as I circled my clit with my fingers while he rammed into me from behind. I clenched down on his dick as waves of pleasure coursed through me.

"That's it," he said with a strain in his voice as he began to jerk erratically while filling me with his cum. The only thing separating us now was three little words, and just because I wasn't ready to say them out loud didn't mean that I didn't feel them. I chose to believe that he felt that way too. We were both panting. He released his grasp on my hips and ran his hands over the cheeks of my ass. "Love this view," he mumbled as he slowly pulled out of me. I collapsed on the bed, and then he flipped me over. The look of pure lust that had been in his eyes when he first came in was replaced by something else, something I wasn't sure I recognized yet. He looked me over, and I tried to hide. He caught my hands as I moved them to cover my nakedness. "Don't," he said with a smile. "I like this view even better. Especially these diddies." I liked it when he called my boobs diddies; I couldn't help but smile back. He cupped my breasts before leaning forward and licking around both of my pebbled nipples. His flaccid cock began to harden between us. My girlie parts were doing a cheer. "I'm going to make love to you now, Emily." My heart skipped a beat as he slid inside of me. He whispered in my ear in a combination of Gaelic and English, but I only understood one word. _Home_.

#

"What's the plan for today?" he asked with a still sleepy voice as I attempted to crawl back into bed without waking him. The idea of him wanting to spend the day together sent chills through me. I didn't want to automatically assume that he would want to spend the day with me, but I had been hopeful. He must have felt it because he pulled me close and asked me if I was cold. At that moment, his strong arms were where I wished I could spend the entire day. I placed a kiss on his bare chest and tipped my chin up so that I could look into his sexy green eyes.

"I was going to spend some time volunteering at the Bowery today and see if Nat needs anything done for the wedding, and I think Manchester is playing Liverpool tonight so we will probably watch it at O'Mary's." Do I need to invite him? We live together, sort of, kind of. _I hate this_. I hope he knows I want him to join us. I've never done this before. I don't really know how to be someone's girlfriend.

"Would it be all right if I invite Brit and Sadie to join us? She's not going to leave me alone until she gets a nickname from Matt." His response sent another chill through me, so he pulled me tighter against him. I love that it is so simple between us. The idea of Brit in a place like O'Mary's is amusing. That I have to see, plus I really want to get to know her better.

"Invite Logan too. The more, the merrier," was all I could think to say, and the smile on Declan's face told me that he was happy. The idea of _my_ friends and _his_ friends becoming _our_ friends made me happy too.

The water wasn't the only thing that was hot in our shower together that morning. Who needs a gym when you have Declan Hayes giving you a workout? He never even asked if he could come with me, he just put on a pair of jeans and a Trinity College hoodie that made him look delicious. We almost didn't make it out of the apartment.

He held my hand as we walked into the crowded room at the shelter. "Thanks for letting me come back with you." It seemed like so much had happened since the last time we were here. We each held a large bag of muffins in our free hands. I could hear rumblings about the arrival of the "muffin lady" begin to ripple through the room, and Declan gave my hand a little squeeze. I don't know why it mattered, but I wanted him to be proud of me and what I did for this place. It wasn't a lot, but I liked to think that I made a small difference. I was still curious about the donation that Declan made after our last visit, but I figured that if he wanted me to know about it that he would tell me.

"Emily, Mr. Hayes, it's nice to see you both again," Joe said in greeting as we were divested of our bags.

"It's good to be back, Joe, please call me Declan and put us to work." Joe showed us to a room full of boxes.

"Just put one of everything in each bag." Joe left us alone in the room. Declan began to look at the boxes while I took off my coat and started to play some Christmas music on my phone for us to enjoy while we worked.

"Are you ready to put together Christmas stockings?" I asked when I turned to face him. Declan looked bewildered. Yes, it was a big job, but it wasn't like Joe was expecting us to do all of it by ourselves.

Declan picked up one of the bags that Joe had instructed us to fill. "These aren't stockings, Lemon Drop, and what the hell is this?" He motioned toward a stack of boxes. I knew what they were filled with because I had done this before. Joe and his team of volunteers worked hard every year collecting what was needed.

"It's what they need, Declan." I had felt exactly the same way the first time I had seen what would fill the stockings. For my sister and me, our stockings always held some of our most treasured Christmas traditions. Even long after we stopped believing in Santa Claus, every year our stockings were filled. I know it's silly, but Mom still sends me my filled stocking every year, and every year it has one piece of fruit. We still laugh about the year we got coconuts. Neither Mom nor Dad had any clue how to open one. The memory made me want to call my sister so that we could have a good laugh. We also always got one of the ornament shaped Coke's and Pez candy, too. For the longest time, we couldn't figure out how we got the same candy dispensers every year since our dispensers seemed to magically disappear each year after the holiday passed. Moms are sneaky like that. Now every January, I ship my empty dispenser back to my mom with a note that tells her how much I love her. The other contents have changed over the years, but those have always remained the same. I can't imagine not having those things, but I also can't imagine not knowing when I will have my next hot meal or if I will have a warm bed to sleep in at night. That's reality for everyone here. Reality sucks.

"It's not good enough," Declan declared as he stormed out of the room. I didn't know what to do, but a job had to be done, so I started filling the plain brown paper bags. He wasn't wrong; they weren't stockings. I'm not sure how much time had passed, but when Declan returned with Joe, he had a determined look on his face with his phone up to his ear. Joe was smiling like I've never seen before. The next three hours were a whirlwind. When we left the Bowery, my heart was overflowing. The storage room would be transformed to a free store. If you needed a toothbrush or a pair of socks without holes in them you would no longer need to wait for your birthday or your Christmas stocking bag, actual stockings were ordered, and would be filled and delivered this week. What really got to me was that it wasn't about the money, Declan talked to a bunch of the kids and with their input; we came up with lists of stocking fillers for both boys and girls, ranging from children to adults. It was incredible.

Declan fished his phone out of his pocket and made a call as we sat in the back of the car on our way to for him to drop me off at Nat's. His side of the conversation was abrupt and cold; it wasn't a side of him that I liked. "I need you to plan a fundraiser. Yes. As soon as possible. For The Bowery, I'll send you the contact information." Without a goodbye or thank you, he slipped his phone back into his pocket. I swear the temperature in the car dropped instantly.

"Who was that?" I asked as he looked out the window like he was deep in thought. I suddenly felt like Nat. She is the one who never lets things go, but I had to know. I wanted my happy, carefree Declan back.

"My mother," he replied coldly. "She's good at two things." I took his hand in mine to try to get him to relax. I rubbed the top of his hand with my thumb. It seemed to work a little because he turned his head and tossed it back against the headrest while Eric continued to drive us across town. "She's good at spending my father's money and getting her so-called friends into spending money on her latest cause." He took a deep cleansing breath. I was proud of him for trying to let it go. It's funny how parents can make us feel like children. Suddenly I felt the need to protect the little boy who was sitting beside me. I unbuckled my seatbelt and straddled his lap. Without a single word, he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in the crook of my neck. No space existed between us. I couldn't say the words yet, but I hoped that he felt them. I did.

"He walked you to the door?" Nat said as she tossed a look over her shoulder at Gabe.

"Hey, I thought you were a feminist," he said as he raised up his hand in surrender. "Je te aime."

Nat walked back across the room and placed a tender kiss on his lips. "I love you too, but it would still be nice if every once in a while you at least acted like a gentleman." It is true. I like to think of myself as a strong woman who doesn't need a man, but I love that Declan opens doors for me, helps me with my jacket, and helps me be seated. His chivalry isn't lost on me. Apparently, it's not lost on Nat either. Score another point for my boyfriend. _Wow, I have a boyfriend_. A charming, giving, sexy, broken boyfriend with a mother I might just kill when I meet her in person. "Would it be silly if I sent Declan flowers?" I asked as I thought about our car ride.

"I think it would be sweet," Nat said. "Lord knows that he's sent you enough of them already." I looked at Gabe for a male perspective.

"I wouldn't know. My woman has never bought me flowers," he said as he smacked her playfully on the ass.

"Who needs to send flowers with blowjob skill like mine?"

"True," Gabe said as he shifted in his seat. "But I can't sit here if you ladies are going to talk about BJs."

"You just don't want to finish the seating chart for the reception. You love BJs."

"You know me so well. I love _getting_ BJs, not _talking_ about them, and you're right." He adjusted his pants again, and I couldn't help but giggle. "I'll even deliver flowers to another man if it gets me out of that damn seating chart."

"OK, but don't bitch at me if your Aunt Linda is mad because I put her next to Cousin Darla, who won't stop talking about her latest book boyfriend." Darla always has a list of hot book recommendations for me whenever she sees me since I "don't have a man". I can't wait to see her face when she sees Declan. I guess I should ask him to come to the wedding with me.

"Fine. But only if we can finish the BJ discussion tonight when we are alone."

"Oh, I'm sure we can finish it. I just won't be talking very much because my mouth will be full," Nat said as she licked her lips. I kind of felt sorry for Gabe, because no amount of adjustment could hide the bulge in his pants at this point.

"Very full," Gabe said as he thrust his hips towards Nat.

"Gross," I said as I pretended to gag.

"Spitters are quitters," Nat said with a wink.

"I gotta go take a cold shower now, ladies."

"You better go now, or Emily is going to be working on this seating chart alone."

Gabe left the room shaking his head. "You better go take care of your man."

"Really?" Nat knew it always bugged me in the past when she ditched me for Gabe, but now I understood. I could never leave Declan hanging like that. She needed to finish what she started when she brought up her blowjob skills.

"Yeah. I'll figure out what kind of flowers to get while you do your thang. Just don't be long or I'll seat Ashley with Sam."

"You're evil," she said as she practically raced down the hall towards her man.

While I tried to block out the noises from the other room, I decided what I wanted for Declan. I called Jasmine's Garden since they had been so helpful with the flowers that Declan had sent to me. They had what I wanted, and I made arrangements for Gabe to pick up the order. I decided against cut flowers. I wanted his gift to be alive and growing, just like our relationship. I wanted to give him roots. It was probably silly, but after I had found a blank card and envelope in with the wedding invitations, I wrote down a quote from The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien that I thought was perfect for him. I ran the paper across the skin at my wrists in the hopes that it would smell like me and then I sealed the envelope with a kiss.

I struggled with how to sign it, so I asked my good friend Google for Irish terms of affection. I decided to simply go with, A Chroi – M. He had to know already that he had my heart, didn't he?

"Stop worrying so much. Gabe said he loved it." Nat and I spent the rest of the afternoon finishing the table assignments for the reception. Well, Nat worked, and I daydreamed about Declan. The guys decided they were going to hang out and meet us at the bar later.

He stood from his stool at the bar the moment we walked in. I didn't even know he had seen me yet. Maybe he felt me like I felt him the moment he was near me. He was still wearing his sexy jeans, but he had changed into a button-down shirt. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his top button was undone. The look he gave me made me gasp.

"Holy hotness," Natalie said as she squeezed my arm. Yeah, my man is H-O-T. My panties were about to combust. Or flood. Maybe both. Definitely both.

Ever the gentleman, he gave up his seat for me and then ordered us both drinks. "An O'Hara's stout for the lady and another Guinness for me." I felt warm all over, and I'll never know if it was from the way that he rubbed a small circle on my back or because he had remembered what beer I liked to drink. I know Gabe and Matt miss the rowdiness of the Pound and Pence, but I love O'Mary's. It's the kind of place that you can't help but feel comfortable at. The walls are lined with autographed jerseys, and the ceiling is covered in those tin tiles. The food is great, the beer is cold, and the owner is a Summerland Black Cats fan too.

Gabe offered his seat to Nat, and she lit up. Paul, the owner of the pub, also poured a beer for Nat and another for Gabe. If I knew my best friend, and I did, Gabe's display of chivalry was probably going to earn him another blow job. Logan arrived next, and he and Matt began talking like they had known each other forever. It all felt so right.

"Holy shit!" Matt said loudly as he stared at the two women walking toward us. Brit looked as beautiful as she had the other times I've seen her, but the woman at her side was seriously drop-dead gorgeous. She reminded me of Betty Page in a black and red striped dress with black lace that started at the waist and covered the otherwise backless dress. I was glad that I had raided Nat's closet before we came over. "I'm going to marry that girl," Matt added causing Declan, Logan, Gabe, Nat, and I all to burst into a course of drunken laughter. Obviously everyone in the group beside Matt knew that the two beautiful women were together. Hearing Declan laugh was the best sound. Ever.

We moved to a table and began to get to know each other. To say that Matty was devastated to find out that Brit and Sadie were a couple was the understatement of the year. Although, he cheered right up when they promised to act as "wingman" for both him and Logan. Brit was still intent on having a signature Matty nickname, so they decided to make a game of it. Declan and I decided to stick with our beers while the rest of our friends proceeded to get fucked up beyond all recognition. The game was that for every name he offered up to Brit, they all drank one. They decided against; bee's knees, crouching tiger, iron butterfly, flaming gorilla, grasshopper, and rum chata. I believe silk panties eventually won, but Matt said he would need to see her actual panties before he would agree. I had to give it to the guy; he wasn't giving up without a fight. This started a conversation about Matt being more than willing just to watch Brit and Sadie. We closed the bar down. I didn't even want to think about the tab, which Declan took care of before anyone could argue the point with him. Logan knew a restaurant where a lot of restaurant workers went after work. Apparently breakfast was needed, but Declan and I decided to go home instead. I think we were both hungry, but it wasn't for food.

_What the hell?  _I woke to the sound of shouting. Declan wasn't in bed. As quickly as possible I dressed in the shirt he had been wearing last night. This wasn't the way I was planning on waking up on the one day of the week that I can sleep in.

"Christ, Ma and Da. What the hell are you doing here?" His accent seemed thicker than normal. _  Oh shit, Declan's parents._

"Us? Last time I checked, son, this was our home," a male voice replied, obviously _  the _Mr. Hayes. "Why are you here? You can't be redoing your apartment again already." I had wondered about that too. Declan told me the first night he was here that work was being done at his apartment, but it looked like it was in perfect condition to me.

"Where on Earth is Maggie? I need some herbal tea and a cold compress. You know what long flights do to me," a woman, Mrs. Hayes I assume, complained. _  Oh shit, Declan had given Maggie more time off. Didn't he discuss it with his parents?_ I had to do something. It was my fault she wasn't here. I cleared my throat and walked into the room before giving it another thought. That probably wasn't smart since I wasn't wearing a bra or underwear and had only done a few of the buttons on Declan's shirt.

"Really, son?" Kian Hayes said as he looked me up and down before Declan took a step in front of me.

"Please tell me you're not using our home as your fuck pad for your flavor of the month." I instantly hated his mother more than I already did. His father wasn't far behind her. I had to do something. I could feel the anger radiating off Declan.

I scrambled to fasten more of the buttons before I took a step around him and offered my hand to his mother. "I'm Emily Barnes, Maggie's niece, thank you for letting me stay in your beautiful home." She didn't take my hand, so after a minute too long, I let it fall to my side.

"Oh good. You're still here." For a moment I thought I might be able to salvage this unbelievably awkward meeting. I smiled my brightest smile at her. "Be a dear and get me a drink." My smile fell instantly. Okay, that wasn't exactly what I was hoping for, but I began to move towards the kitchen, but Declan grabbed my hand before I could escape to the kitchen. He pulled me to his side and put his arm around my waist.

"She's a guest, not the help," Declan practically snarled as he tightened his hold on me.

"Oh for the love of god. Did we walk in on a scene in a movie?" Mrs. Hayes put her hands on her temples like she had a headache before she turned her attention back to me. Fuck, she wasn't the only one. "At least you picked the right month. You'll probably walk away with one hell of a Christmas gift."

Declan lunged at his mother while his father remained silent and motionless. This was not good. I couldn't do much. Why didn't I put on panties? The last thing I needed to do now was to flash his parents. I didn't know what to do, so I repeated the words Google had taught me the day before. "A Chroi." It was barely a whisper, but I know he heard it. Hell, they all heard it. The 'a' was pronounced like 'uh' and 'chrio' was like 'khree'. I knew I was saying it right because Declan had said it over and over again as he made love to me last night. Yeah, we were both drunk, but we both knew exactly what it meant. I had his heart, and he had mine.

All the color drained from their faces, and Declan took a step back, once again took my hand and announced that we were leaving. The only other things that he grabbed were our coats and his plant before we fled that apartment that had become our home. As we rode barefoot and silent in the back of a cab, I didn't feel like I would miss that place. It was Declan that made it feel so special, and he was by my side, right where he belonged. Then a terrible thought jumped into my head.

"I need to go back. I forgot my mixer." Declan burst out laughing.

#

Declan carried me to bed, but I no longer felt hungover or tired. My emotions were all over the place. My head rested on his bare chest while he ran his fingers through my hair. "Can I ask you something?"

He pressed his lips against my head before answering, "You can ask me anything."

"When you came to stay at your parents', you said some work was being done on your apartment. Your dad said you remodeled last year." He tensed, and an awkward silence fell between us. "Aren't you going to say anything?" I finally asked when he resumed his tracing on my skin.

"Is that your question?" I tried to pull away from him because I was getting pissed, but he tightened his hold on me.

"Why did you come to the apartment?" My tone was angrier than I intended it to be. I just really wanted to know the answer.

"Maggie was worried about you. She asked me to come and check on you." He began to chuckle. I wasn't sure if I should be upset or grateful to my pseudo-aunt. She had been telling me that I needed to meet Declan forever. I didn't ever see the point. For one, I wasn't interested in dating and for two; I didn't think we would have anything in common. "She's a little hard to say no to." He wasn't wrong about that.

I changed my position so that I could look at him while we talked. "But you stayed."

"Yeah," he said with the biggest smile I had ever seen. He brushed my hair behind my ear. "I couldn't leave once I saw your little outfit." My cheeks flushed. Would I ever hear the end of that? He leaned forward and kissed me ever so lightly. "And when you broke that egg, I felt as if something inside me cracked too." I wasn't mad, but still he needed to know that lying to me wasn't OK, so I pushed him back on the bed and straddled him. I could feel him harden against me. He tried to put his hands on my hips, but I grasped them and held them above his head. He didn't fight me as he easily could have.

"That's ironic because since meeting you, I feel like all my broken pieces are starting to fit together again." I leaned forward, but instead of kissing his lips, I kissed his chest, where his heart seemed to be rapidly beating. "You have my heart, Declan Hayes. Please don't break it. I don't think I could survive it." A single tear rolled down my face and when I let go of his hands to wipe it away he moved faster than I thought was possible, intertwining our fingers and rolling us so that he now hovered over me. He kissed away my tears as he made sweet love to me.

I clumsily put on a pair of Declan's gym shorts as I tried to get to the door. They were huge on me, but my only other option was to put my coat on over his shirt that I was still wearing. Declan had left to go gather our things from his parent's apartment. I was expecting him back, but he wouldn't be knocking at his own door, so I had no idea who it was. Nobody knew we were here.

"Good morning, Miss Barnes. Mr. Hayes was called into the office and asked me to drop off your belongings."

"I've told you it's just Emily. Come on in, Eric." I opened the door farther so he could enter with a cart full of luggage. I was tempted to hug my mixer when I saw it on top of the cart. I know it's silly since Declan's kitchen is very well equipped and since I have a full commercial kitchen at my disposal downstairs, but it's important to me. My mother bought it for me when I told her that I wanted to start my own business selling muffins. It was her small way of telling me that she believed in me.

I hadn't even closed the door when I heard. "Where do you want this stuff?" Unlike Eric, Matty didn't have a cart, and his arms were loaded with heavy bags of flour. I moved aside so that he could enter the apartment. "I thought you had a fancy new kitchen on the ground floor."

"I do, but I have a license for a home-based business not for a commercial kitchen." I guess I should have spent the morning researching what I needed to do instead of grabbing a book from Declan's impressive collection and lounging in that big comfy chair by the windows and reading. Who am I kidding? I was day dreaming about Declan.

"Do you have more stuff?" Eric asked Matt as he unloaded the luggage from the cart.

"Yeah." And without another word the two left together to get the rest of my baking supplies. People back home in California seem to believe that I'm here all alone in this big city, but really I'm surrounded by people who care about me and would do anything for me. After several more trips, Matt and Eric had everything in the apartment. While they were lugging stuff in, I opened my laptop to check my e-mail. I squealed when I saw a message from an event planner whose name I instantly recognized because I am obsessed with her television show. Nat and I never miss an episode.

"Oh my God, you sound like my mother when she is talking about her favorite author," Matt said as he imitated his mother's voice. If I weren't about to pee my pants, I would have been rolling on the floor laughing.

"Suzie Morgan wants me to create a cookie for a Christmas party she is planning." I probably sounded just like Matt, only my voice wasn't fake. It was a total fangirl moment.

"Seriously? That's big, Emily." Matt picked me up from my stool and spun me around. When he put me down, Eric looked like he was ready to kill. I had seen a similar look in Declan's eyes the first time he ever met Matt, and that was before I was even his. His? Matt must have noticed, because he stepped away and gave Eric a look that said, "Seriously dude, I know she belongs to your boss."

"What kind of cookie?" Eric asked as he refocused and seemed to let it go.

I turned back to the e-mail. "She wants something cocktail-inspired like the stuff I've done for Swayed, but she also wants me incorporate the company color which is blue." I shook my head. This wasn't good.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked as I re-read the e-mail.

"The only blue alcohol I know of is Curacao, and she said Christmas. If I give her a blue cookie, it will look like Hanukkah. What am I going to do?"

Eric moved across the apartment with a purpose. He opened up a cupboard that was on the wall behind the dining room table. "It's a good thing I used to tend bar," he said as he continued to look for something. "Ah ha!" he exclaimed as he clearly found what he was looking for. He came back and presented me with a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue. It was absolutely perfect!

"Hey, I know one too." Matt was not one to be outdone, especially when it had to do with booze. He made his way to the fridge. Eric and I listened as he moved things around. "Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about." Matt emerged with a bottle of beer in his hand, a bottle of Blue Moon.

"Yes!" I said as I did a victory dance. I knew instantly what I wanted to do for Suzie Morgan. "You two are hired. I need you to go to the store for me," I said as I jotted down what I knew I would need. At that point, I don't know who was more excited, the guys or me.

"These are fucking off the chain, Emily." It was odd to hear Matt calling me by my name instead of Lemon Drop, but it also felt right. I'm not _his_ Lemon Drop anymore; I'm Declan's. With the help of my new sous chefs we had made cream cheese stuffed, chocolate cherry stout cookies and eggnog whiskey balls.

Eric popped another ball into his mouth in agreement. "Seriously, will you marry me?"

"I think we'd have to get in line," Matt told him as he looked around the apartment. I never thought I would want to get married. Now, I'm not so sure because I can no longer imagine my life without Declan.

"True. Oh, Emily. I forgot to give you something." It was nice to see Eric so much more comfortable around me. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an envelope. I opened it cautiously. The paper was thick and at the top it was embossed with a decorative H. The cursive was almost as impressive as the paper it was printed on.

Please join me for tea.

3 pm

The Pembroke Room

Abigail Hayes

I looked at the clock on the oven. "Fuck!" I cursed. As much as I dreaded the thought of seeing Declan's mother again, I knew that I had to go and meet her and that I didn't have much time.

"What's wrong?" Matt questioned as he plucked the paper out of my hand. "So, you've been summoned to meet with the Ice Queen." Apparently that was the name that had been deemed appropriate by both Matt and Eric as they had been busy assisting me. I was trying to have an open mind, but somehow I knew that the name fit Mrs. Abigail Hayes perfectly.

Rather than watch me scramble around the apartment trying to figure out what one wears to "tea", Eric and Matt left me to freak out alone. Eric was actually doing me another favor by dropping off a box of our creations to Suzie before heading to pick up Declan at his office. Matt had to make a delivery in Brooklyn. It's probably a good thing that he works for his best friend since he spent the better half of his day baking with me.

I hate being late. I probably should have just taken a taxi, but I'm not used to having spare money in my bank account. My balance had gone up quite a bit since I met Declan. I could certainly afford the fare, but I refused to pay the over twenty bucks that I knew it will cost me for the four-mile ride when I was perfectly capable of walking a few blocks and hopping on the "C" train. Of course, when you need to get somewhere on time it always seems to take twice as long.

"You're late," she said with a hint of distaste as I handed the hostess my coat. At first I had been surprised that the invitation wasn't for the Ritz Carlton, but as I looked around the room, I knew that the Ritz was much too "touristy" for Abigail Hayes. The Pembroke Room was on the second floor of The Lowell Hotel, and it was elegant with a capital E. I caught a few glimpses of other women watching me. Under their scrutiny, I found myself pulling down the hem of the white cardigan sweater that I had put on over my black bandage dress. I really did need to find another dress to wear to the wedding rehearsal. The last time I had worn it was the first time I had gone on a date with this angry looking woman's son. Sometimes it is hard to believe that I've only known him fifteen days. I feel like I know so much about him, but at the same time I know that I have so much more to learn. This woman is a part of him; that's why I was there. For Declan.

As I took my seat, I placed my napkin on my lap. It was the first time I'd really had a good chance to look at her since the apartment was still dark when we left this morning. She would be a beautiful woman if it weren't for the permanent scowl she wore upon her face. Don't they have injections for that? "Two Royals," she told our server without even giving her a second glance. _Bitch, much_? I hoped she at least tips well. I hoped they didn't spit in the tea. Two crystal flutes of something pink and bubbly were almost immediately poured for us. I took my first sip and, of course, it was delicious while my host continued to glare at me. What had I ever done to this woman?

"So, you're the baker." It wasn't a question. She knew damn well who I was.

"Yes. I own a baking and specialty dessert company." She actually rolled her eyes at me, and I instantly knew why the alpha male in one of my favorite book series hated the annoying habit. I didn't want to spank her, but I wouldn't have minded bitch slapping her. However, that was probably frowned upon in The Pembroke Room.

"Yet, you were homeless and needed to stay at my apartment. Maybe that was just a ploy to get your hands on my son." OK, so maybe verbal slapping is allowed. How dare she? I wasn't going to allow her to act like she was better than me. I never intended on meeting Declan. Who is she anyway? Mrs. Hayes? Had she ever worked a day of her life? After the sting had worn off, I felt the need to defend myself. We were interrupted when our server returned with a three-tiered silver tray and our tea.

I watched Abigail as she placed an assortment of tea sandwiches, canapés, scones, and French macaroons on her plate before pouring herself a cup of tea. I also filled my plate and poured my tea. I was tempted to ask for another glass of bubbly, but I didn't. I took a sip of tea and tried to calm myself before speaking. "I can assure you, Abigail, that, may I call you Abigail?"

"No. I insist that you call me Mrs. Hayes." Was that supposed to be slap number two? I could play her game.

"Oh, I just assumed that since I'm so intimately familiar with your son that we would be on a first name basis. Maybe you would prefer Abby," I said as I popped a delicious piece of a cucumber and watercress sandwich into my mouth. Her mouth gaped open in a very unladylike fashion. I stirred my tea, making sure to break every etiquette rule my dear friend Google had given me while I rode the subway over here. Then with a satisfied look, I took a sip of my tea. _Pinkies up, Abby_! It felt fab-u-lous. I sat forward in my seat. "You see, my dear, I'm not... what was it again?" I tapped my chin as if I was searching for the words. "Oh yes, the 'flavor of the month'. I was valedictorian of my high school class; I graduated Summa Cum Laude from NYU, and let's just say that I was personally offered a job before I even graduated from Stern by someone you might know. He's pretty well known for saying the words 'you're fired' but to me he said 'you're hired.' " I think I actually heard someone choke from a nearby table. I wasn't finished yet. "But you see, I quickly learned that I didn't want to be a slave to my job, so I quit. Maybe you know what it's like to have a job that takes over your life." This time, I heard several gasps, and I couldn't help but smile. Our audience was eating it up.

"You're still a nobody. You might be smart, but my son doesn't do relationships. You might be his shiny new plaything, but just remember, Miss Barnes, all that shines isn't gold. You'll tarnish quickly and then he'll put you out with the trash." As a last ditch effort she added, "Like day-old muffins."

"That's funny because The Post and Suzie Morgan both seem to think that I'm somebody, and as far as your son, I have something that you will never have..." Yeah, dropping Suzie's name was the icing on the cupcake. I took another sip of my tea. It was no wonder why Declan seemed to hate his parents. How could Maggie work for such terrible people? How did Declan become such an amazing man?

"Well?" she asked as I savored my delicious tea.

"I believe you already heard it this morning." Her color paled. "But since you seem to be having memory issues." I put a dollop of Devonshire cream on my still warm scone before taking a delicious bite. "A woman of your age, maybe you should get that checked out."

She tossed her napkin onto the table. "For the love of God." She rose, and I swear the entire room went quiet. I guess her constituents had decided that it was pointless to pretend that they weren't all listening. She began to walk way.

"A Chroi." She froze for a moment. That's right, Mommy Dearest. I have your son's heart and unlike you, I don't plan on breaking it or throwing it away. I sat and reveled in my glory for a minute before I realized something. That bitch left me with the check. Yes, she was Royal all right, a. Royal pain in the ass.

"Can I get a to-go box, please?"

#

I'd never really understood the term whirling dervish before, but I was sure that's exactly what I looked like right then. I was relieved when I got to the apartment and found that Declan still wasn't home. I kicked off my shoes, tore off my sweater, and began to bake. Baking wasn't only my passion, but my refuge. My grandfather always said, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." But my grandmother always said, "As long as you know how to bake, life is sure to be sweet."

I turned when I heard the door. Declan's hands were full with what looked to be an overflowing bag of Chinese food. His hair was messier than normal, his tie was undone, and his jacket was draped over his arm. It looked like I wasn't the only one having a bad day. Maybe Eric had told him about my tea with Cruella de Vil, after all but then when our eyes met, he smiled and took what seemed to be a deep cleansing breath. Okay, maybe he didn't know. Having him there seemed to stir up the emotions that I had been trying to bury since my run-in with this mother this afternoon. I hated crying, so I turned away from him and tried to focus my attention on filling muffin tins. I heard him put down his things and then he was behind me. He placed his hands on the countertop on each side of me. I lowered my head, and then I felt his lips press against the exposed skin on the back of my neck.

He moved closer to me. Our bodies complimented each other perfectly. "I'll never forget the first time I saw you in this dress." I hadn't bothered to take it off, but I did take off the sweater and put on an apron. First he untied the tie at my waist and then he loosened the tie at my neck, and the apron fell to the floor. He kissed along the collar line of the dress. "I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life." My body flushed with heat, and I began to feel the tingles in places that Declan Hayes seemed to have a secret portal to. "And that first time I kissed you..." His hands moved slowly onto my hips and then up. "It took everything I had to walk you to your room that night and to not do this." As the zipper descended, he continued to kiss me. Goosebumps covered my body as he pressed his lips against every inch of my exposed skin. Once the zipper was all the way down, his hands moved back up to my shoulders, where he pushed the cap sleeves down, exposing more of my skin to his soft lips. I stepped slightly away from the counter, allowing the dress to fall to the floor. I should have felt exposed, standing in his kitchen in nothing but my bra and underwear, but instead I felt both desired and precious as his lips continued to explore my body. "I might have thought it that night, but now without a doubt I know it to be true." He turned me to face him. "Every part of you is beautiful." He pressed his lips to my forehead. "Mind." My entire body trembled as his lips traced down to my lips. "Body." It's a good thing that I was being supported by both the counter and his arms because my body felt like jelly as his lips continued their journey. "Heart." Just like our first kiss, my hands fisted his hair, and he let out a groan when I tugged. "I need to make love to you now, my lovely Lemon Drop." And then I was in his arms and he was carrying me to his bed and all thoughts of Abigail Hayes and whatever seemed to be bothering Declan when he arrived were forgotten. He need to make love to me, and I just needed him, period.

Declan and I sat on the floor eating reheated Chinese food from cartons. I fed him Chow Mein while he offered me bits of Kung Pao chicken. I missed our Christmas tree and I resolved to get another one tomorrow. It wouldn't be the same, but I could still make Christmas special for the sexy man sitting in front of me, and we would always have our memories of our day at the Stuart Farm. "What did you do today?" he asked casually between bites.

"Well, I came up with two recipes for a party and had tea with your mother." It wasn't like I could keep it from him, and not telling him was the same as lying to him in my book.

He put down his carton before he said anything. "You what?" he was angry but it wasn't directed at me. His reaction was one that I was becoming accustomed to him having when his parents were involved, and now I was beginning to understand it myself.

I put my carton down too and stroked the side of his face. He leaned into my touch. I'm not sure if it gave him or me more comfort. "Your mother invited me to join her at The Pembroke room. I've never been to tea before. I brought home leftovers. They are in the fridge."

"You had them pack you a to-go box at The Pembroke?" he barely got out before he actually fell back and began to literally roll on the floor laughing. I couldn't help but laugh too. After we could finally control ourselves, he asked me if I was okay.

"Let's just say that I don't think we will be exchanging Christmas gifts anytime soon." I wanted to add that she owed me seventy-five dollars for her tea, but I kept that to myself because I didn't want Declan to feel obliged to pay for his mother since he had already given me so much.

"I just don't understand why you would even want to meet with her after the way they both treated you last night, or should I say this morning." I got up from the floor and picked up our cartons. Declan followed me back into the kitchen. He poured us each a fresh glass of wine while I tried to figure out what I still had to do to finish my delivery for tomorrow and how to best answer his question. One thing I loved about Declan was that he seemed to understand my silence. It wasn't that I was ignoring him; I just like to think about what I'm going to say before I say it. Sometimes I wish I could be as impulsive as Nat. Hell, if I were I probably would have already said those three little words by now. Apparently the way I felt about him was written all over my face anyway according to my friends, and I wouldn't withhold them if he said the words first, but I wouldn't just say them because that was expected of me. I would say them because I felt them too.

I began to melt chocolate as Declan patiently awaited my response. He had a wicked gleam in his eye as he watched me stir the decadent dark chocolate. "Don't look at me like that," I teased.

"Like what?" he asked as he licked his bottom lip in that way that he knew drove me crazy. It would have been easy to distract him with sex, but I wanted to tell him why I went to meet his mother.

"Like you want to dip me in chocolate and eat me. You asked me a serious question." I went to the pantry and handed him a container with some of the cookies and whiskey balls from earlier. He popped a ball in his mouth and fuck, the sexy noise he made almost made me lose all resolve. "Christ, don't do that, babe." Forget the noise, the look on his face when I called him 'babe' almost dropped me to my knees. I don't even know where it came from, but it did feel good. I hope it made him feel as good as it made me feel when he called me 'his Lemon Drop."

With twinkling green eyes and a beautiful smile he said, "Say that again."

"Babe, I'm trying to be serious." Yeah, he liked it and so did I. He tried to change his expression to that of a serious one. It was adorable. I couldn't stand it, so I turned off the flame and walked around the counter. At this rate, I was going to be up all night trying to finish tomorrow's muffin order. He turned in his chair, and I stood between his legs and kissed him. Our tongues dueled, and just like that first kiss, my foot popped exactly like in the movies. When we finally broke apart, I put one hand on his shoulder to steady myself, and I brushed back his hair with my other hand. "Where were your parents when you called them to ask them about helping with The Bowery?" I asked. I had been thinking about it a lot.

"Somewhere in Europe," he answered like it didn't mean anything, but it did to me.

"Declan your parents were half way around the world and yet they were home in less than twelve hours after your call." That didn't equate to me. If they didn't care, they wouldn't have rushed home to help him. I kissed him again and then returned to the stove. He needed time to process what I had just said. I understood his silence too.

He finished his drink and enjoyed several cookies before he said anything. "If they cared about me or my happiness they wouldn't have treated you so poorly this morning." I knew my situation was different than his was. My father had hurt me, but it hadn't erased all the love he had given me the rest of my life. Abigail and Kian had done the opposite. I wanted to believe in the good in people, that maybe they wanted to erase some of the hurtful things they had done to Declan. How could I make him see that maybe they were just trying to protect him? They didn't really know me, and as Declan said himself, people always wanted something from him.

His phone rang, and he answered it tersely. I continued to bake while he pulled out several documents and his laptop from his bag and retreated to his office. From what I was hearing, I could tell that it wasn't good. That must have been why he looked so troubled when he came in since he didn't know at that point about my tea with the Ice Queen. I placed the chocolate muffins in the oven and set a timer before going to see if everything was okay. Declan was sitting behind his desk and papers covered it. Damn, he was wearing those sexy glasses again. He pushed away from his desk when he saw me. I had changed into his favorite outfit after our earlier trip to the bedroom. I took it as an invitation and sat down in his lap. "Anything I can help you with?" His chuckle kind of pissed me off. I was ready to remind him of my grade point average and job history when he began to tell me. His problem at H.I.P. was fascinating and challenging. It could also cost him a ton of money and a lot of people jobs if he didn't figure it out and quick.

The oven timer buzzed. "Could you go take those out for me?" I asked as I continued to read the documents he had shown me. He shifted me so that he could get out of his chair.

"I put in the next batch for you," he said upon his return. I was so engrossed in his work that I almost didn't hear him. I gave him a little wave of my hand, and he left me to work.

I was in bed, and it was morning. _Shit! How did that happen again?_ I never even finished my baking last night and I don't remember coming to bed. The last thing I remember is finding what I thought would be a solution to Declan's work problem. I sat up and looked at the clock.

"Shit!" It was almost nine. Greta was going to end our partnership for sure if I didn't get my shit together.

"What's wrong Lemon Drop?" Declan asked as he came out of the bathroom with shaving cream covering half of his face and a towel around his waist.

"I need to get over to Greta's!" I scrambled out of bed and attempted to find some clothes although, ripping that towel off him crossed my mind. I was already late; at least I could start the day with an "O" for outstanding.

"No, you don't."

"I don't?"

"Nope," he said with a pop of his p.

"Greta's going to murder me."

"Why?" he asked like I wasn't making any sense at all.

"I'm late for my delivery." The bastard was laughing at me now. "This isn't funny. This is my business, Declan."

"I know. That's why I finished your order and made your delivery this morning," he said with a wink as he wiped the remaining shaving cream off his face.

"You did?" I asked as he sat down on the bed and pulled me down into his lap. His lap was quickly becoming my favorite place to sit.

"Yes." With his arms wrapped around me, he placed a kiss on the top of my head. "You saved my arse on this deal. I want you to come with me to H.I.P. this morning so that I can show off my brilliant lack to the schmucks who I pay a fortune to. You figured out something the lot of them missed." It still sent chills through me every time he referred to me as his girlfriend.

I don't know what made me happier, the fact that Declan had baked and made my delivery for me, or that I had figured out something that would save both his deal and the jobs of hundreds. We weren't perfect, and we still had a lot to learn about each other, but somehow our broken pieces just seemed to fit together. "Anything for you, babe." I meant every one of those four words. I would do anything for Declan Hayes.

#

"How's this one?" I asked as I stood in front of the mirror inspecting my third outfit change, not that I had a lot to choose from. Giving up my "professional" wardrobe had been easy; I didn't need them and what I hadn't sold at consignment stores I had given to Nat. They would have come in handy today. I want to look like I belong with Declan, because I know all eyes will be on me. I can just hear the faint whispers following behind us as we walk down the hall, "Did you see the woman with Mr. Hayes?" Will I ever be good enough for him? His mother certainly doesn't think so.

"You could wear a potato sack, and you would look perfect to me," he said as he wrapped his strong arms around me from behind me before kissing that spot on my neck that drove me crazy. "You don't have anything to be nervous about. It's just a conference room with a bunch of overpaid stuffed shirts sitting around it." The meeting wasn't what was making me nervous; it was the fact that I was walking into his office on his arm as his girlfriend. I haven't exactly been forthcoming with Declan about my employment history. He knows I graduated from NYU and that after I had graduated I went to work, but that I decided that I wanted to be my own boss. It's not something that I intentionally hid from him; it just never really came up. It was just a job, a job that taught me a lot about not only business but about myself. He pulled away from me. "Now, let's get out of here before you decide to change again." I guess my gray wool pencil skirt with the ruched plum top was going to have to do. It didn't escape me that Declan was wearing a gray suit and that his tie had plum accents. The fact that we matched made me giddy.

Eric was beaming when he opened the door for us. "Good morning, Emily. Good morning, Mr. Hayes." Something passed between Declan and Eric. I didn't know what. Declan seemed angry, but it appeared that nothing was going to sour the great mood that Eric was in. He actually hummed as he drove us to the office. Declan must have notice it too, not that Eric wasn't normally happy; but this morning he was bursting at the seams.

"Spill it, Eric," Declan said as he smiled at me while rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand that he was holding.

"I met the love of my life yesterday," he blurted out like a little kid. "Suzie and are getting married, and we're going to name our first daughter after you, Emily." As ridiculous as it sounded, he was being completely genuine. Suzie? Suzie Morgan? _The_ Suzie Morgan?

"Wait a minute, you asked me to marry you yesterday." Declan tightened his grip on my hand and actually growled. Some women might be bothered by his possessive behavior, but truth be told, I think it's sexy as hell. I know Eric was just kidding with me yesterday, but I couldn't help but tease him because I could tell this time he wasn't kidding at all. He seriously believed he was going to marry Suzie Morgan.

"Well, I do love your balls, but I love Suzie more." It would have been hilarious if he weren't absolutely serious. "It's kind of busy for her right now, and I know you need to be up early to get your muffins to the market, but we were hoping you two would be available Sunday. We want you to be our witnesses." Holy shit, they met yesterday.

"You're getting married on Sunday?" Declan asked his friend and driver.

"To a woman you met yesterday," I added as we both looked at each other and then at him. He was watching us in the rearview mirror.

"Absolutely."

"She's one of the most sought after wedding and event planners in the city." Because of her television show everyone knows her, everyone wants her. People actually planned their weddings and parties around her availability, that's why it was such a huge deal when she reached out to me. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be responsible for bringing Eric and Suzie together.

"And she's seen enough marriages fall apart to know that it's not about a single day. It's about a lifetime. A lifetime we want to spend together, and the sooner we start living it the better." How could you argue with that? In reality, I've only known Declan a few weeks, and I can't imagine my life without him in it. "Plus, she just wants it to be about us. If people hear that she is getting married, they will be expecting a huge production. That's really not who she is." I could see that. After all, Mama M isn't really an elderly an old woman, and it made me wonder how she compared to her TV persona.

"So I guess I should forgive you for not picking me up last night," Declan said as he clasped Eric on the shoulder. I guess that explains why Declan didn't know about me going to tea with his mother. Maybe his business deal wasn't the only thing that had been bothering him when he got home last night. I've noticed that Declan isn't exactly a fan of taxis and with his lack of experience on the subway he can get easily frustrated.

Eric pulled up to the impressive Hayes Investment Properties building. He got out and opened the door for us. Declan never let go of my hand. "Congratulations," I told Eric. My lips had just barely touched his cheek when Declan pulled me away. I couldn't help but laugh at my Neanderthal boyfriend as we entered the lobby. Just as I expected, all eyes were on us. I liked it when Declan released my hand only to replace it on the small of my back. His touch made the awkward glances we were receiving feel less intimidating. We entered a crowded elevator. Several people wished the boss a good morning while some of the women openly eye-fucked my man as if I wasn't standing right next to him. I couldn't take it. Game on.

"Babe?" I practically purred because I knew he liked it when I called him that. He didn't seem embarrassed by me using the term in public.

"Yes, Lemon Drop." Strike one, terms of endearment.

"If lack is girlfriend, what is boyfriend?" His hand moved down from the small of my back to my ass. It's a good thing we were at the back of the elevator car.

"Technically it's buachaill, but most people would just say me fella." Strike two, I basically just told them all I was his girlfriend, and he didn't even flinch.

I turned toward him; suddenly it wasn't about the women who were gawking. Declan and I were the only two people in the car. I placed my nose against his, our lips were almost touching, and then I tried it out, "Me fella." I liked it. Declan's breath hitched and then his lips were on me. If someone hadn't cleared their throat to alert us that we had reached our destination, we might have stayed in that elevator with our lips locked together all day long.

"Good morning, boss," a very pretty woman greeted us with a warm smile in the very busy lobby. She was petite, with flawless skin, not a hair on her head was out of place, and the smile that Declan returned to her would have made me jealous if she wasn't obviously very pregnant. "The team is waiting for you in conference room A." She handed him a stack of messages and immediately turned her attention to me. "You must be Emily," she said as she flung her arms around me and hugged me as tight as she could with her belly between us. I think her baby actually kicked me.

"Let her go, Monica." His words were firm but filled with amusement.

She pulled away. "I'm so sorry. I'm just so happy for him." She wiped a tear from her eye. "These damn pregnancy hormones." She cursed as she placed her hands on her bump. "It's so nice to meet you finally. I feel like I know you already because _somebody_ talks about you all the time." A blush rose in Declan's cheeks, and it was the cutest thing ever. Brit had practically said the same thing when she met me. It is plain to see that these people really care about him. I just wished that he would realize he's not as alone in this world as I know he believes. He is surrounded by people that truly care for him, and it has nothing to do with his last name, his address, or the amount of money in his bank account. Declan Hayes is very easy to love.

"Please clear my schedule after our meeting until after two." Declan began to lead me toward what I assumed was conference room A.

"Sure thing, boss. It was nice to meet you, Emily." I could hear the smile still in her voice. "Get back to work," she scolded someone. "What's wrong with you? Haven't you ever seen a man in love?" Yeah, I really liked Monica.

I missed Declan's hand on my back, but he was busy thumbing through his messages when we entered the room.

"Son-of-a-bitch," I heard a familiar voice curse under his breath as we walked in the room. I looked around the table for the voice that instantly had the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Declan must have felt me tense because he dropped the papers on the table and put his arm around me.

"Nervous?" he whispered in my ear. I wasn't nervous about sharing my findings with the team at all, I could do that in my sleep. What I wasn't looking forward to at all was Everett James, a man I never wanted to see again in this lifetime and Declan being in the same room.

Declan followed the death glare that I was aiming straight at Everett, and he tensed too before offering me a chair. He took the seat beside me, rolled it closer to mine, took his hand in mine, and then placed our joined hands on the table top. The anger that Everett originally had on his face when he saw me quickly changed to something that looked a lot like fear to me. Yeah, I was afraid too. Afraid that Declan might just strangle him when he found out about our history. I wondered if you need to be married to get conjugal visits in prison.

Declan obviously wasn't happy with his team, but he was also very proud to tell them that I had saved all of their arses. Everett wisely decided not to voice his opinions when several questions were raised. I felt good, but it wasn't because I missed the board room or the rush you feel when you make a big deal. It was because I had helped Declan. That felt wonderful. As we left the conference room, several members of the team suggested that I needed to come to work for H.I.P. I was flattered, but at the same time knew that I was doing exactly what I wanted to do. I'm one of the lucky people that can actually say I love my job. I wished that Declan could say the same thing.

Declan hadn't let go of my hand since he saw the interaction between Everett and me. His office was huge and had a view that was to die for. When I heard the lock, I turned to face him. He had already tossed his jacket on a nearby chair and was loosening his tie. "Did you fuck him?"

I couldn't speak, so I just shook my head no. "Sit down in my chair, Lemon Drop." The tone of his voice told me that he was in no mood to be challenged, so I rounded the sleek glass and chrome desk quickly and sat in his oversized black leather chair. "Good girl. Now put your legs up on the arms." I don't know if it was his instructions or the tone in his voice, but I was instantly wet. I began to toe off my heels, but he stopped me. "Leave them on."

Fuck! I licked my bottom lip and looked him up and down. He was still standing against the door. I could see the outline of his hard cook in his trousers as I inched up my skirt so that I could follow his instructions. Slowly, I lifted one leg and then the other. I was spread out before him. He was angry, but I knew that I was safe with him. Besides, being fucked to death seemed like a pretty good way to go to me.

He stalked toward me. I wanted him naked so when he stood between my open legs I leaned forward and began to unbutton his shirt, after fumbling with one I said fuck it and grasped it with two hands and pulled it apart until buttons went flying in every direction. It was the first time I had seen him smile since we walked in the conference room.

"I love your knobs," he said as he placed both hands on my tits and gave them a good squeeze. "One of these days I'm going to fuck them."

"Promise?" I asked as he lowered himself before me. I had no doubt that one day very soon he would do just that.

"Yeah, but right now I need to taste you." He moved his hands up the backside of my thigh-high, silk-stocking-covered legs and then pulled my ass closer to the edge of the seat. He leaned forward and pressed his nose against my soaking wet panties and then inhaled deeply. I tried to squirm away, but he held me steady with his large hands. Moments later he ripped them off my body and then his nose was replaced by his tongue.

"Oh god," I moaned as he flicked me and then sunk two fingers inside of me.

"You can just call me Declan," he told me as he looked up at me while he continued to fuck me with his fingers. I still wanted to call him God, because I was surely in heaven.

Somehow I had been transported from his chair to the sofa that was by the door. I must have been in an orgasm induced coma. I was leaning against Declan's muscular bare chest, and he was stroking my arm softly with his finger. Declan still had his pants on, I was completely naked, but he had covered me with a cashmere throw blanket. "Welcome back," he said as I stretched muscles that were now sore in all the right ways.

"It's a good thing you paid for those panties," I teased as he inhaled deeply again, this time in my hair.

"Best investment ever." He chuckled, and I was glad that he no longer seemed angry, but we needed to talk, and I knew it wasn't going to be good.

"Everett went to NYU too, but I'm sure you already knew that." He didn't say anything, but he kissed the back of my head, and I took that as a sign to keep talking.

"We had a class together, we were partners on a project, and he asked me out." Everett was well-liked by our professors, and I felt a connection with him since we were both studying the same thing. What I felt for him wasn't anything like what I feel like with Declan, but we worked well together on our project, so I thought we might be compatible. Hell, I never really believed that two people could just fit together perfectly like pieces of a puzzle until I met Declan. "He was nice, so I went out with him once, I could tell that wasn't what Declan wanted to hear. "But I wasn't interested in more than friendship with him." I brought his hand up to my mouth and kissed the back of his hand. "We went out again with a group of classmates; I didn't even think of it as a date." This was the part that I knew would make Declan crazy. "He asked me to go with him to hear a CEO from a social media company speak, and I jumped at the chance. I really wanted to hear him, the man is brilliant. I guess Everett thought of that as our third date." I don't know where the three date rule came from, but I sure as hell wasn't planning on having sex with Everett. I hadn't even kissed him other than a peck on the cheek. Let's just say that he didn't take my rejection very well.

"I'm going to knack the ballix out of him." Declan tried to move me to get up, but I twisted in his lap and straddled him. He placed his hands on my cheeks, and I rested my forehead against his. He closed his eyes, and I closed mine. He took a deep breath as he attempted to calm himself. "Please tell me he didn't hurt you," he practically begged.

I placed a soft kiss on his lips, and he opened his eyes. "Not physically and you don't need to kick his ass because Gabe and Matty already took care of that."

"That hoor's melt. I should fire his arse. Blacklist him for life." I couldn't help but giggle. I never know what's going to come out of his mouth, and I have yet to hear that one.

"You can't fire him because of me. It happened a long time ago. He's a prick, but he's smart. Shit, he probably pissed all over himself when he saw you holding my hand. What's a whore's melt?"

"A son-of-a-bitch, and I swear if he even looks at you again, I'll knock his pan in." I knew this wasn't the end of this conversation, but I was glad that Declan seemed content to let it go for now.

"Remind me to never piss you off. Now, me fella needs to take me to lunch. I could eat a farmer's arse through a blackthorn bush right now." I swear he laughed so hard that he nearly tossed me off his lap.

"I think I'm rubbing my Irish off on you," he said with a lopsided smirk, and I hoped he never stopped rubbing me. Call it the luck of the Irish.

"A farmer's arse, aye?" Declan teased as he led me by the hand to whatever nearby restaurant he was taking me to. I was so mesmerized by his playfulness that I hadn't even noticed where we had entered until we were greeted by the hostess. The place was packed and loud, but when he gave his name, she began to show us directly to a table. If looks could kill, we would both be dead since others were clearly already waiting to be seated.

"What's wrong?" He asked once we were seated.

"We cut the line," I told him but that was only a fraction of the truth.

"It's called a reservation, Lemon Drop. Time is money, and I don't like wasting time or money." I guess it was a good thing that he was back in business mode because we had a lot of things to talk about. Important things that couldn't continue to be cast aside because neither one of us could control ourselves.

"Are you ready to order?" Our server asked with a heavy Asian accent. Declan looked up at me over his menu and then told the young woman that we needed a few more minutes.

"What's that face for?" I didn't even realize I was making one until he mentioned it.

"I'm not really a fan of sushi," I explained as I glanced back down at the menu trying to find something that I would like.

"I thought everyone from Cali ate sushi."

"Cali? What are you, like fourteen?" I teased.

He snickered at me before putting down his menu and suddenly turning serious. "Have you tried it?"

"I have, and I'm just not a fan of raw fish. Now, battered and fried with a side of fries is a different story." His eyes lit up at my admission, and before I knew what was happening, he was out of his seat and pulling me out behind him.

When we got to the curb, he hailed a cab. "O'Mary's", Declan directed the driver as I tried to keep myself from laughing so hard that I wet my non-existent panties. When I stopped laughing, he pulled me close to him. "It's chips, Lemon Drop, and as soon as I can I'm taking you home to Dublin for the best fish you've ever had, but until then O'Mary's is pretty close." He kissed the top of my head. With his lips still pressed against me he said, "Perfect", and I wasn't sure if he was talking about fried cod or me. The thought of Declan wanting to take me to Ireland—his home—made my heart flutter. _Perfect? No, but he is._

Before we even sat down, Declan ordered two baskets and two pints. "I'm not sure if this is a good idea," I said as he raised his glass. "I have a lot to do today, and we need to talk business."

"Come on, Emily. I believe it was Benjamin Franklin that said 'in wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria'. I couldn't live with myself if you got sick." His bottom lip jutted out. I couldn't stand to look at his sexy, sad puppy-dog eyes, so I lifted my glass to his.

"Happy now?" I asked after taking a small sip of the frosty ale while he continued drinking his.

"Delighted." He sat back in his chair. "You said you have a lot to do today."

He knew I did, and his relaxed attitude toward it was kind of pissing me off. I began spouting out a list of things that I had to get done. I was completely overwhelmed, and as I continued to rant, his smirk grew, which just set me off. "I'm glad you find this amusing, but nothing about this is funny to me, Declan. This is my life."

"It's not your life. It's your job, and you do this adorable little thing with your nose when you get upset." He moved forward to touch my nose, and he's lucky I only batted his hand away because I wanted to clobber him. His reaction was to take my hands in his and sit forward in his seat. "I'm sorry, but you don't need to worry about this," he said calmly as I tried to pull my hands away from him. "The inspection was completed on the kitchen this morning. Your applications with the city are being filed now, a copy of the insurance policy is probably in your inbox, and I have the lease agreement that you wanted. You just need to sign it."

The only thing that saved his life at that moment was the arrival of our food. I had a new understanding for the term "boiling blood", and Declan was just about to see me go from zero to bitch in 2.3 seconds flat. The idiot actually began to shake malt vinegar on his food like nothing was wrong. I pushed my food away, and that finally seemed to get his attention.

"What's wrong?" Seriously? My appetite was gone.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Several people looked over at us, so I lowered my voice. "Did you really think that I wouldn't have a problem with this?"

"You're going to have to give me a clue here, Lemon Drop. What's got your knickers in a twist?" he asked as he also pushed away his food.

I stood on shaky legs and leaned to whisper in his ear. "Matt should have named you the Irish Mule instead of Irish Car Bomb because you are the biggest ass I know, Declan Hayes. I don't work for H.I.P., and I sure as hell don't need you or any man managing my business or my life. I'll be out of your apartment by tonight. Don't bother getting up. Goodbye." And with that, I left O'Mary's. The cab wasn't even a block away before my phone started blowing up.

Declan's ringtone, music from the boxing scene in Sherlock Holmes, changed to the Dixie Cups harmonizing about going to the chapel. He must have called her, and if I weren't so pissed off, I would have been thrilled to know that Declan knew enough to call my bestie. I wasn't ready to talk, but I had to answer Nat's call, or she would just come and hunt me down. I put on a smile before I answered. "Yes, bridezilla."

"Nice try." I guess my phone trick was no match for Natalie, who didn't sound very happy either. "I just got off the phone with ICB. He's a wreck, Emily."

"Good. He should be!" I yelled, which wasn't fair to do to Nat. I took a deep breath before apologizing for bitching at her.

"When will you be here?" she asked without skipping a beat.

"I just told him that. I'm not going anywhere," I lied to her. I refuse to add any of my crap to her plate right now. She is stressed out enough.

"Oh good, Emily." Her sigh of relief caught me off-guard and shocked me a little. "I was so afraid that you would put those walls of yours back up and vow never to fall in love again." Nat and I are close, she tells me everything, and she knows me better than anyone besides my sister, but I always tried to keep my disdain to relationships to myself. Apparently I wasn't fooling anyone but myself.

"I..."

"You didn't think that I knew what your dad did to your mom played a number on you? Give me a break. You're a serial first dater. You always find some excuse, and you know it. His fingernails are longer than mine. He says, 'that's weird' a lot. That is until Declan came along. He's perfect for you," she said as she imitated me perfectly. She wasn't wrong; I had said all those things in the past.

"You're right," I admitted

"I can't argue with that. So, you're going to stay and work things out with him?" she didn't let me answer before she continued. "I'm so glad, M. I've never seen you so happy."

Happy? I swallowed down that thought. "I need to go, Nat. I'll talk to you later."

"OK, but promise you'll tell me all about the make-up sex tomorrow. Hell, I think I might pick a fight with my man, just so we can compare notes."

"OK."

"Argot au revoir." When she hung up, I turned off my phone. When I arrived at the apartment, a woman was standing by the door holding a large bouquet of bell-shaped violet blooms mixed with white tulips. Jesus that was fast. It must be nice to have money growing on trees.

"You must be Emily," she said with a smile as I nodded a confirmation. "It's so nice to finally put a face to the name." I opened the apartment door and gestured for her to follow me in. After I put down my purse and keys on the counter, she handed me the beautiful flowers. Their fragrance was already filling the air. She cleared her throat before speaking. "You know, I've met a lot of men in this business over the years, but I've never met one before that is so committed to getting it right before. Most men in the dog house would just send a dozen roses when they screw up, but not Declan Hayes." The shocked look on my face told me she knew exactly what I was wondering. "The hyacinth tells me that he's asking for forgiveness and the tulips say I'm sorry."

"They're beautiful." They really were, but what kind of message am I sending if I just forgive him because he ordered some meaningful flowers. I opened my wallet to hand her a tip.

"That's already been taken care of." She refused the money; of course he had already tipped her, "Just remember that it takes a strong person to say they're sorry and an even stronger person to forgive." With that, she left. Could I just forgive him? I didn't even realize I was crying as I packed a bag. I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do; I just knew that I needed to get out of his apartment.

Eric was leaning casually against Declan's car at the curb when I came out. He quickly traded me my overnight bag, yes the damn Louis Vuitton he bought me, with a small white bag he was holding. What can I say? It's a great bag. "He knows that you didn't eat," Eric said once we were both inside the warm vehicle. I opened the bag and found a delicious looking sandwich that I had no appetite for. "Where to, Emily?" I flopped my head back against the seat. That was the million dollar question.

"Anywhere, a hotel I guess." I closed my eyes, but the gears in my head wouldn't stop turning. Nat thinks I'm the happiest I've ever been. Truth be told, I think she's right, but I didn't ask him for his help. Ugh, this is exactly why I didn't want a man in my life. I make my own decisions. If only I could get my heart and my head to agree. The car came to a stop, and I opened my eyes. We were in a parking garage, not at a hotel. "Um, Eric?"

"Hey, you said anywhere. Just trust me on this." _Trust? Ha, that's a good one._

Suzie Morgan is even prettier in person than she is on television, and her apartment is amazing. However, it was nothing like what I was expecting, since her home is often shown on her show since that's where her office is. If I wasn't so busy checking out the surprise digs, I might have been embarrassed by the greeting she and Eric were giving each other. Apparently they couldn't get enough of each other. It's hard to believe that they just met and that they are getting married this weekend. Shit! Declan and I are supposed to be their witnesses.

"Emily, it's so nice to meet you in person." Her attention turned from her man to me, and she enveloped me in a hug like we've known each other for years, oddly enough it felt right. Maybe Suzie is one of those people that has never known a stranger.

"Thank you. It's so nice to meet you too. Congratulations on your engagement." Eric moved to her side with his arm around her. They are a striking couple. She's tiny, but next to him they seem to fit together perfectly. That thought made me think of Declan because I was starting to think that way about us. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I don't need anyone to make me complete.

"Oh, sweetie, I've seen that look before. Darling, would you please put Emily's bag in the guest room while I make us some tea?" He kissed her temple before doing as she asked.

"I hope you don't mind, but Eric told me about your spat with Mr. Hayes." Of course he did. First Nat, then the woman from the flower shop, then Eric who also told Suzie, and I'm sure by now we can add Gabe and Matty to the list. Oh, I can't forget everyone at O'Mary's. Maybe I should just put it on a billboard in Times Square. Hell, by now Mommy Dearest, Abigail Hayes, is probably doing a jig or some shit like that. Crap, I should probably tell Greta. She's really is going to kill me if I don't get my shit together.

"That's OK. Excuse me while I make a call." I turned on my phone and found a text from my mother. I have to admit that it hurts to see that I don't have any missed calls or text messages from Declan.

<b>Mom:</b> Thank that wonderful guy of yours for me. We had a fabulous time! We are both home. I love you M.

In the attached photo of Maggie and Mom, they both looked deliriously happy. I couldn't help but smile. I should probably call Maggie and make sure everything is all right with the Ice Queen.

"And I thought a good cup of hot tea was a cure all. Obviously whatever is on your phone is it for you."

"Sorry, it was a text from my mom. She just got back from a cruise with her best friend." I held up my phone to show her the picture and couldn't help but to smile again. It's nice to see Mom look so happy after all this time. Declan did that for Maggie and her. I need to stop this. Declan also did it for himself. With Maggie gone, he had me all to himself. Why? Because he wanted to keep that bubble around us. _Yeah right, it was probably because he couldn't fuck you on the dining room table if Maggie were in the apartment._

Suzie snapped her fingers in my face. "Where did you go, Emily? What happened to that smile?"

"Sorry, can I ask you something?" I wanted to ask her about Eric. I wanted to know how she could possibly know that he was "the one" in less than twenty-four hours' time.

"You can ask me anything." I liked Suzie. On television, she seemed so much bigger than life, but in person she was just so nice. She seemed so real, so down to Earth. It really was hard to believe that we just met.

Instead of asking her what I really wanted to know, I chickened out and asked, "What happened to your apartment?" She must have gotten that a lot because she didn't seem surprised at all.

"Follow me." She turned off the kettle, and I followed her across the hall to another apartment. She opened the door, and we were instantly transported to the apartment I was expecting to see in the first place. "As seen on T.V.," she said with a flourish in her best infomercial imitation voice. "Everything isn't always what it seems, Emily." I got the distinct feeling she wasn't just talking about the apartment. She went to the refrigerator and took out two bottles of water before motioning for me to join her on the couch. "I know we just met, but I feel like our stories are similar. I went to college; I have a degree in Art History. I hate art history, but my parents weren't paying for me to go to college for a future career, I was there to find a husband." My mouth dropped in shock as she took a drink of her water. "Can you believe that shit still happens? When I tell my daughter that she can be anything she wants when she grows up, I will mean every word of it."

"I didn't come from wealth," I told her. Not that my family is poor, but I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth by any means.

"I know, but you decided to forge your own path. Just like I did. I couldn't stand the idea of another match with a trust-fund brat. I was expected to land a man, who could 'provide me with the life I was accustomed to'." She used air quotes. "I was supposed to _hire_ the wedding planner, not become one. Everyone thought I was crazy. Sometimes I even thought that. I was finally able to convince one of my sorority sisters to let me plan her wedding, and as they say, the rest his history. But without using my resources I never would have landed that job or any of this."

"Didn't it feel like a hand out?" I could see her point, but Declan already introduced me to Logan, which got me the article in the paper and ultimately to Suzie too.

She snorted. "Are you kidding? I worked my ass off for that job. Let me ask you this? How long would it take you to get a permit for your new kitchen?"

I thought about it before I answered, "Probably months."

"Exactly. Yes, he probably should have talked to you before he did it, but he just saved you months. You see those?" she asked as she pointed to some camera equipment. "Total pain in my ass, but you'd be amazed what people will say yes to when they think they might be on my show. Is it wrong? Maybe, but if it gets my client something they have always dreamed of, I consider it a win. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I think you need to pick your battles. You could have it worse than your boyfriend wanting to help you grow your business. I'm not saying what he did was right. I'm just saying that you might want to think about why he did it. I know you have a lot to think about, so I'm going to go see my handsome fiancée. Let me know if you need anything. We are just across the hall.

I could see Suzie's point. Pick your battles? It was beginning to feel like I had lost the war, but in admitting that, was I losing a part of myself? Maybe I wasn't losing it; maybe I was giving it freely to someone who means the world to me.

I was dreaming of two little boys with little red noses from the cold running through a field of Christmas Trees. Strong arms were wrapped around me from behind, and we were both laughing at the sight. _Declan_. When I awoke with a start. I looked at my phone, still no calls or messages from the man. It was then that I heard a knock at the door. I opened it reluctantly since only Suzie and Eric knew I was here.

"Delivery for Emily Barnes." He passed me a piping hot pizza, from my favorite pizzeria. The kid left before I could even think to get my wallet. I never did eat the sandwich that Eric gave me earlier. The first time we shared this we had lifted our beers and drank to "more". I lifted the lid as my stomach protested loudly. Written on the top of the carton were the words.

You are my more

I ate the delicious pie—I was hungry, and not eating it would be a crime. Maybe Declan remembered that moment because it meant as much to him as it did to me. Forty-five minutes and a full belly later, someone knocked on the door again. Was I ready to face Declan? I opened the door cautiously, still unsure of what would happen if it was him.

"Delivery." It was the same kid again.

"Thank you," I said as I took the bag from him. On the bag, a globe had been doodled in blue ink. Inside was a white Styrofoam container. On the lid the words:

I would give you the world if you let me.

Still warm inside the carton was a crème brûlée. _Our_ crème brûlée. Tears streaked down my face as I remembered the night we shared this, I welcomed him to my world. It literally took my breath away because at that moment I knew without a doubt they were _all_ right—I was being an ass, or an arse as Declan liked to say. He wasn't trying to take over my business or tell me how to run it. He was giving me what I needed to make my business successful. He just wants me happy; the funny thing is that's exactly what I want for him too. I took a bite, but it didn't taste as sweet without him, and I knew nothing ever would.

Someone knocked at the door again. I opened the door, and it was the same guy again. "I take it your being paid well," I teased, and he beamed at me before he handed me a small white box. My pulse raced when I saw the word "A Chroi" on the lid. _My heart._ I wasn't sure if I should curse or cry when I opened it and found a black velvet box. My hands trembled as I opened it, of course, it was beautiful. It also showed just how well Declan Hayes knows me, because although it probably cost more than I cared to know it was simple and something that I would wear every single day. My hands were still shaking as I removed the silver heart from the box. It wasn't perfectly shaped. Again, I knew that Declan had probably picked it for that very reason. It was a little askew, just like us. In the center of the design was a knot that I knew represented him and his Celtic heritage. The chain was long, and when I placed the necklace over my head, the pendant fell right where it was meant to—right next to my heart. It was then that I noticed another message inside the lid of the box.

My heart is in your hands

That was it. I needed to see him. I quickly rushed across the hall to ask Eric to take me back to Declan's apartment. I was shocked by what I saw. Eric and Suzie weren't alone. The delivery guy and Declan were standing at the large kitchen island. When I had arrived earlier, it was clear, and now it was covered with all sorts of stuff.

"Thank God," Eric quipped as Suzie began to clap her hands and bounce up and down like an excited little girl. I rushed to Declan. It didn't matter who else was in the room with us. He was all that mattered. I crushed my lips against his. My hands instantly tangled in his hair, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me. I licked the seam of his lips, and he instantly opened for me. We consumed each other with the kiss. "Get a room," Eric said playfully before we broke away from each other.

"Hi," I said shyly as Declan continued to hold me close. He kissed the top of my head before pulling away slightly so that he could see my face.

"Howya?" He fingered the heart pendant, and then I placed one hand over his and the jewelry, and then I placed my other on his chest directly over his beating heart.

"You have mine too." He closed his eyes before leaning forward, pressing his forehead to mine.

"I thought I lost you," he whispered. "This is all new to me, Lemon Drop. I knew I would fuck it up."

I pulled away from him so that he could see how serious I was. "It's new for both of us, Declan. I shouldn't have overreacted the way I did. I screwed up too."

"Mistakes are inevitable," Suzie shared with us before adding, "Sometimes the comeback is more important than the setback."

"Wise words, sweetheart. Will you remember that when I screw up?" Eric asked as he wrapped her in his arms from behind and placed a kiss on her neck.

"If you ask for forgiveness like him." She giggled as she pointed out all of the stuff that cluttered the counter top. I couldn't help but laugh as I began to examine what else he had planned.

I pointed at a boom-box that I didn't think even existed anymore, except maybe in the Smithsonian. "John Cusack?" Declan confirmed with a nod before I held up what looked to be a journal of some kind. I thought about it before guessing, "Bridget Jones?" Declan confirmed with a nod again.

"Oh, I like this game." Suzie was such a cheerleader in person. She reminded me of Bonnie; she was so different from what I expected. Real Suzie is fun and sweet, while as seen on TV Suzie is all about making everything Fabglam—her trademark. I liked the guessing game too, so I continued. I lifted up one of several pieces of plain white poster board before I also noticed the Sharpie.

"Love Actually." Declan nodded.

"You're good at this."

"Do I need to revoke your man card, boss?" Eric teased before Suzie playfully slapped him on the arm.

"You should be taking notes, darling." I couldn't argue with that; me fella was good.

I came to some kind of food tin. I tried to think about other foods that we had shared, but nothing specific was coming to mind, so I peeked inside. Meatballs? They smelled delicious, but we had never eaten meatballs together. I racked my brain for a movie that they might correspond with, but I was drawing a blank. "You really don't know this one?" Eric asked in awe. I shook my head no. Declan's grin widened. "Even I know this one."

"Need a hint?" Suzie asked before quickly giving it. "Bella Note." Eric actually started singing; he had a beautiful voice that surprised all of us in the room.

It suddenly came to me. "Lady and the Tramp." Once again I was in his arms. "You are so getting laid tonight," I said quietly.

"Let's go home," he blurted out as quickly as the promise left my lips. _Home_. He began to pull me toward the door as Eric and Suzie just laughed at the sight.

"Hey, what about your flowers?" Suzie screeched. More flowers? When I turned back to look at her she wasn't holding a bouquet of flowers like I was expecting to see, but instead she was holding a flat cardboard box that held several different brown bags inside of it.

"Keep them," Declan said while he continued to pull me behind him. My heart burst as I remembered that Will Ferrell's character, Harold Crick, had bought Ana, a baker played by Maggie Gyllenhaal, bags full of different types of flour in the movie Stranger Than Fiction. We reached the street, and Declan hailed a cab without ever letting go of me.

"You bought me flours?" I sighed as I took in the scent of the man who not only surrounded me with his arms but his entire being.

"Yeah. I bought you flours, Lemon Drop." The man really would do anything to make me happy. I had to admit that it felt pretty nice to feel so....loved?

"Oh shit!" I cursed as the bubble of happiness that surrounded us was instantly burst when I remembered that I had never called Greta.

"What's wrong?" The concern in his voice was evident.

I looked at my watch; it was later than I thought. I'd be baking the rest of the night. "I need to get my order for tomorrow done," I said with a sigh. I was really looking forward to making good on my promise to Declan, but I also had a commitment to keep.

I didn't think it was possible for him to hold me tighter, but he did. He kissed the back of my head before he spoke, "Don't be mad at me."

"What did you do?" I asked cautiously.

"I called in reinforcements to do your baking." I should have been upset but honestly I was too excited by the idea that I was going to be able to take my man home to bed to be the least bit angry. "Maggie and Greta are down in the new kitchen," he continued.

"So—" I turned in his arms to face him "—you're telling me that—" He cut me off by placing a finger over my mouth. He really thought I was mad at him. I held back a laugh.

"Can we just consider it another setback?" he pleaded at me with his beautiful green eyes. "I'll show you my comeback when we get upstairs." I couldn't help but smile at that idea.

He removed his finger from my lips and replaced it with a gentle kiss. When the cab came to a stop in front of his building, he pulled me out and tossed a wad of cash at the cabbie. "I was hoping you would show me more than one way you come back." I smirked suggestively, and in a heartbeat he had me over his shoulder like a sack of flour. He seemed to enjoy carrying me like this, and I had to admit, I had a pretty great view.

It was a beautiful morning. We didn't get much sleep, but Declan was very thorough with his show of "comebacks". Delightfully so. His arm was around me, and my head was on his chest, our legs were intertwined, and the blankets were everywhere. "Tell me about the necklace," I asked as I traced figure eights with my finger on his skin. Would he know it was really an infinity symbol?

"What do you want to know?" he asked as I shifted so that I could look at him.

"I recognize the Celtic knot in the center, but I'm not sure exactly what it means." He reached over me to the nightstand where I had placed the necklace the night before. He kissed the metal before he placed it over my head.

"It's timeless. It has no beginning and no end." He paused to push a lock of my hair behind my ear. "I know we just met and that it might seem crazy, but it feels like my life began when I met you, Emily. I've always had to be what other people wanted me to be, what people expected me to be, but you just want me to be the best version of myself that I can be." It's a good thing that he kept talking because for once in my life I was speechless. "This is a Trinity Knot. To some, it represents the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit. To others, it represents the three feminine powers; Mother, Crone, and Maiden. I guess it could also represent mind, body, and spirit, but to me it means something else for us."

"What's that?" I asked barely above a whisper.

"Faith, hope, and trust. I think you know what the heart represents." I did. It didn't bother me that he didn't say the word. We both felt it, even if we couldn't say it just yet.

#

I had a ton of stuff to do, so after stopping by to thank Greta for her help the night before, I headed over to The Bowery. Joe seemed confused to see me, but happy all the same. He was more than willing to help me with my request, and I was feeling rather giddy as I walked out with my phone to my ear. Unfortunately, my phone call did not go as well as I had hoped, but I would just have to make do.

My arms were overflowing with bags filled with Christmas decorations when I arrived back at the apartment, and I was shocked by what I saw at the curb—a late model pick-up truck. Mr. Stuart was wrestling a tree out of the back while Mrs. Stuart stood on the sidewalk holding what looked like several pie boxes. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. I had called the farm earlier to see if they had a tree lot in the city. It wouldn't be our tree, but it would be close. When Mrs. Stuart asked why, I had only told her that due to a family rift, we suddenly had to relocate and left our tree behind. She also explained that the only way to have a Stuart tree was to get it straight from the farm. I barely knew these people, I hadn't asked them to come to the city with a tree, and worst of all, Declan and I had lied to them.

"What are you doing here?" I asked like a complete idiot. For that matter, how did they know where here even was? "How did you...?"

"Are we going to stand at the curb or get this tree into the apartment?" Mr. Stuart asked before I could finish my sentence.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. What was I thinking? Follow me." I lugged my packages while he hauled the tree, and Mrs. Stuart talked. Apparently Declan had added our names to their mailing list, and she told me that I had sounded rather desperate when I called this morning.

Without a word, Mr. Stuart looked around the apartment, placed the tree in the exact spot I imagined it, left the apartment, returned moments later with a tree stand, and before Mrs. Stuart could even finish her tale of the drive into the city he was done. It was perfect. I couldn't help but begin to cry. "Why the tears, dear?" I didn't deserve the tree or the kindness of these near strangers. Declan and I are going straight to hell for telling them we were married with children.

"We lied to you." I sobbed as the woman wrapped her arms around me like only a mother can do. She laughed as she led me over to a seat at the table, then she went to the kitchen, started a fresh pot of coffee, and served us pie like I hadn't just confessed that I was a big fat liar to them. All the while, Mr. Stuart began to string lights from the bags of decorations I had brought in on the tree. He made it look so easy compared to Declan and me. She took her husband his coffee and pie, before returning to the table to me with ours. "Why are you being so kind?

"Because, we already knew you weren't married. Your sweetie called us the day after you visited the farm." She patted my arm and gave me a warm smile. "He said that he wanted to be able to come back with you again in years to come, but that you would fight him because you wouldn't be able to face us."

"Said he had to set the record straight. Don't find a lot of people with that kind of character this day and age," Mr. Stuart added before finishing off his cup of coffee. "Time to go now, before we get a parking ticket. We'll see you and that fella of yours next year."

"Merry Christmas, Emily." She gave me another hug and then they were gone. It was a Christmas miracle. Not only did we have a perfect Stuart Family Farm tree in the apartment, but we could go back again next year, and maybe one year in the future year we would return, and hopefully it wouldn't just be the two of us.

"A little higher," Maggie directed as I put the finishing touches on the tree.

"I think you got a little spoiled on that cruise."

"Damn it smells and looks great in here," Nat announced as she came through the door. I was making a traditional Irish meal for Declan. She opened the oven to see what was cooking before I could shoo her away.

"Back off, that's for my man." The lack of sleep must have been getting to me.

"Your man?" Nat asked with a knowing wink to Maggie. Yep, I was going to hear it.

"The man you could have had a long time ago if you had just listened to your Auntie Mag." Actually, I was never going to hear the end of it. Maggie had tried unsuccessfully for a long time to get me to meet Declan.

"Doesn't anyone work around here?" I deflected.

"As a matter of fact." Nat sat at the table and opened her laptop. "Are you ready?" Nat was launching the new and improved Mama M's website. Mama M muffins would continue to be sold exclusively at Greta's, but since the article was published in the paper, I was completely overwhelmed with requests for "Signature Desserts by M". Apparently Gary had decided that my desserts were sexy and that the words "Mama" and "sexy" didn't belong in the same sentence so he had just referred to me as "M" in the article. Nat told me that it was time to lose the grandma image and Fabglam my site. Suzie would die if she heard her use the word she was known for, the word she hated.

The site was amazing. Nat ran with the idea of "signature", but instead of a signature cocktail, you could have a signature dessert crafted to your liking. The front page was antique bronze in color and had a relief design that was similar to the tiles on the ceiling at O'Mary's in the center was a circle, and in the middle of that was a capital "M" in a script that I loved. On the main page you could then select pages for muffins, desserts, special orders, a merchandise shop, or about M. Yes, this was exactly what I always hoped for, but it was something that I thought would take a lifetime, especially when less than a month before, I was evicted from my own apartment. Meeting Declan had truly changed my life. Nat clicked on the muffin page—it had the picture of my grandmother that was most often associated with Mama M's, and I couldn't help but smile, knowing that she would be proud of me. I had told Nat that my Grandma's muffins weren't sexy. Declan disagreed with me and proved his point by peeling a muffin liner off while he straddled my naked body in bed. I couldn't argue because it was sexy as hell, but Nat agreed to keep the sex appeal on that particular page down to a minimum. Declan had happily snapped what seemed to be hundreds of photos once Nat told him what she needed. They were exactly what she wanted. His photos were amazing. The page then directed you to Greta's site. Greta was so excited about it that she hired Nat to re-design her page too. The next page looked like tufted leather in a sleek gray that Natalie insisted I call silver to go with her theme. It was overlaid with photos that were beyond sexy; they were almost erotic, at least to me. Maybe it was just the memory of the photo shoot or the photographer.

_Wheeler was in the kitchen styling plates, Declan was setting up equipment, and Nat was doing my hair and makeup. "I don't know if I can do this," I complained as I batted my best friend's hand away._

_"You can. Trust me. It will be amazing once you get started." Declan and Nat had talked about what she was trying to create, but they hadn't shared much with me, and Nat wouldn't let me look at myself or what I would be wearing for the shoot. "You're perfect. Get dressed. I'm headed home."_

_That took me by surprise. I thought for sure she would want to stay to direct the shoot. She left faster than I could question her. It's actually a good thing she left so quickly, because when I saw what she wanted me to wear; I was ready to kill her._

_The sexy red corset was accented by a black lace applique—my boobs practically popped out of the top. The panties, if you could call them that, were black with black fishnet thigh high stockings attached to a garter belt. Oh, and who could forget the shoes. Red patent leather stilettos with a five-inch heel. Five inches! I wouldn't be able to kill her because I would be dead when I tried to walk in them. I decided to send my ex-BFF a text._

_Me: Are you fucking kidding me?_

_Nat: You're alone with a delicious piece of man candy & you look hot. ;0)_

_I didn't even know how to respond. I was still shaking my head when another text arrived._

_Nat: You're welcome_

Let's just say that I'm surprised he got any photos that she could use, let alone see. I didn't even realize I had begun fanning myself with the memory. "Care to share with the group?" Nat teased once I broke out of my lustful stupor.

"It's hot in here."

"Uh hum, right. It's hot in here." I looked at the photos again. The image of my lips with the fire engine red lipstick biting into an Irish Car Bomb cake had me licking my lips. Another link directed you to the website for Swayed or the special order page to have your own "signature" creation. I had already been contacted by several other restaurants and hoped this page would soon feature multiple restaurants offering exclusive desserts by "M". The special order page was black and white with a photo of a bar, it was actually the bar at Swayed, but it could have been any bar. The liquid in several of the bottles were tinted with color causing them to pop. The page basically explained that "M" would work directly with the client and provide "top-shelf" flavors and a dessert that was "made to order". Nat also included a quote from the one and only Suzie Morgan. The shop page was still under construction, mainly because Matt and I couldn't agree on any of the merchandise. I had agreed to let him run it. He had big plans. He was even convinced that I was going to be so "big" that he was going to have to turn the front of the downstairs area into a retail shop. I just don't know that I want my name associate with t-shirts that say stuff like "best muffin tops in NYC". Like I said, Matt and the web store are still a work in progress. Declan actually wrote the "about M" text, but I hadn't been allowed to read it yet. I had seen the picture, and I loved it. It was me at the Bowery; I was smiling, and handing out muffins. Muffins that would have otherwise been wasted, thrown away, as some of these people had been. It's so true what they say about one man's trash being another man's treasure. Along with the photo and my bio was a link for people to make donations and examples of what the cost of just one muffin could do to help others. If I could only be known for one thing in this life, I hoped that it would be that I had made a difference.

I decided that I wanted to be alone when I read what Declan wrote about me. I managed to convince Maggie to get off her throne and help me finish the decorations. Before we headed downstairs, I sent Declan a text. I loved his new contact name.

<b>Me:</b> I'd like to request a meeting

I was being serious. We still had things to talk about. His response was immediate and made me wet as I imagining him fucking me from behind as he pressed me against the glass in his office.

<b>Me Fella:</b> You want to play office again? I'm UP for it anytime

I had never been so wanton in my life. Before I met Declan, sex was no big deal. I quickly reminded myself that it was never as good with anyone else either.

<b>Me</b>: Talk first, and then we'll see what you are UP for.

Apparently the Ice Queen and her husband had gone somewhere warmer for a few days, so Maggie said she would finish my baking for me. Greta was joining her and bringing a bottle of wine, plus Maggie let it slip that Billy was visiting family in Albany for a few days. I knew those two were up to something. I'll have to ask my mom about them since they are both being so tight-lipped. If I had known that earlier, I might have talked Matty into helping me reclaim our first Christmas tree. But, I am a believer that everything happens for a reason. If I hadn't called the Stuart's, I wouldn't have seen them again today or found out about Declan's call to them until next Christmas.

Nat was right, the apartment did smell amazing. It wouldn't be long before Declan got here. I was just about to read the "about M" page on my beautiful new website when he walked in the door. He reminded me of the first time I ever saw him. His tie was hanging loosely around his neck, and his hair was a sexy mess.

I had to remind myself that we really did need to talk. He got a mischievous twinkle in his eyes once he took in the apartment.

He came straight to me and wrapped his arms around me, gave me a squeeze, and buried his nose in my hair. "I don't know what smells better, you or whatever it is you are cooking. Thank you for the apartment. It's beautiful just like you." I guess my reading was going to have to wait.

"Thank you. Why don't you go and change into something comfortable while I dish up our plates? Maggie and Greta are baking for me again." He placed a chaste kiss upon my lips before doing just that.

I set the table and cut the loaf of soda bread before opening a bottle of wine and dishing up our bowls of Coddle, a recipe that I found online. It was the perfect recipe for me because after I had put it in the oven, I forgot about it. The dish was hearty and warm, a great combination for this cold, dreary day. As good as it looked; Declan was far more appetizing to me than anything on the table. He was wearing flannel pajama bottoms and a short sleeve white t-shirt with a V-neck collar, and he had his glasses on. Lord have mercy, it's hot in here.

"I could get used to this." I wasn't exactly sure what he was referring to. Declan poured us each a glass of wine. "This is one of my favorites, Lemon Drop. Thank you." He lifted his glass, and I did mine as we said our usual toast and then began to enjoy our dinner.

"I think you're trying to distract me," I said after several minutes as I put my spoon down.

"What? I didn't say anything." He placed another spoonful in his mouth and moaned again.

"That right there. I told you we need to talk, and you are trying to distract me with those sexy noises." I pouted.

He winked and set down his spoon. "OK, I'm listening." Damn him. "Before we talk about the lease, can you tell me two things?"

"Yes," I answered without hesitation.

He took several more bites of his dinner and emptied his glass of wine while I waited for him. He then refilled both our glasses before he asked, "What's your address?"

I don't know why but without thinking I gave him his address. His smile grew as I backpedaled. "Shit, I didn't mean that. It's just where I'm staying right now. You know that." His face was impassive as he asked his second question.

"How much cash do you have in your purse right now?" OK, I wasn't expecting that one.

"I don't know. Does it matter?" Apparently it did because he stood and brought me my purse. I wasn't sure where he was going with this, but I emptied my wallet and counted my money. I had more than I thought I would, and Declan helped himself to seconds as I counted my money. "I have eighty-eight dollars and ninety cents."

"Perfect," he left the table again and returned moments later with some papers and a pen. He wrote something on the document, put down the pen, and steepled his fingers. "I love that fact that you gave me this address. This is where I want you to be." Before I could get a word in he continued, "It pisses me off that you've run off twice. Maybe it's time you start to understand that I don't think of this as a temporary arrangement."

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" He tossed his head back laughing.

"I'm not asking you to do something that's already been done. I'm just asking you to admit it to yourself. You live here, Lemon Drop, and I'm glad that you do. Next time you think you feel the need to run talk to me."

_My heart is in your hands._

"OK." He was right—if I wanted things to work between us, I had to be willing to stay and talk things out when I was upset, and he had to do the same. If my dad had talked to Mom before he acted, things could have been so different for all of us.

"Come here," he said as he pushed his chair away from the table to make room for me on his lap. I needed to be closer to him, so as much as I was tempted to tell him not to boss me around, I didn't. He pulled me as close to his body as he could before he spoke, "This is the lease for the kitchen space. You could have had a penny in your purse, and it wouldn't have mattered to me. We can re-negotiate the price after the first year." I examined the lease agreement. He had filled in the amount of eighty-eight ninety in the previously blank space for the annual lease amount and signed the document. His lips descended upon me before I could argue with it. Just like last night I felt everything in that kiss, and I couldn't tell him no. Not ever, because I was completely and totally—head over heels—in love with Declan Hayes.

#

I'd been thinking about something Joe at The Bowery asked me about the day before. "Declan?" I asked as he spooned me from behind. Last night and this morning had cemented the idea further in my brain. His response was to pull me closer to him and to kiss the back of my head. "I like this."

 "Me too," he said as he showed me how much he liked it by pressing his hard length into my backside. Yeah, waking up together definitely had its perks. Huge perks! Perks that I couldn't wait to get my hands and other parts of my body on. I sat up on the bed, and he groaned in frustration, but I quickly made my intentions clear by turning around and straddling his thighs. "Have I mentioned that I loved your knobs?" he asked as he took my breasts in his hands and gave both my nipples a tweak. It hadn't escaped me that both of us seemed to be using a certain four-letter word more frequently.

"FUCK," he moaned as I followed the trail of his Adonis belt with my tongue while I pumped him with my hand. I loved that I could make him incoherent with just a touch of my hand or a flick of my tongue. When I reached his tip with my tongue, I circled his crest and enjoyed the taste of his pre-cum on my tongue. I loved the taste of him. His grunts and groans became more animalistic as I took him deeply into my mouth. I circled the base of his cock with my thumb and index finger and twisted them back and forth as I massaged his nuts with my remaining fingers while I bobbed up and down. I looked up at him. He was propped up on his elbows, and he had his head thrown back in sheer pleasure. The sight caused me to suck harder, and within moments I felt him tighten in my hand. Ever the gentleman, he looked down at me and groaned. Declan always asked before he took. I loved that about him too. No way in hell was I stopping, and I think that was pretty clear to him when I took him even deeper than I thought possible. His pleasure was my pleasure, and I wanted everything he had to give me. With one final twist of my wrist, he lost it. My name rolled off his lips like a prayer and then it was my turn to start lifting his name up. Yes, waking up with Declan certainly had its privileges.

"Are you sure about this?" Declan had asked me this morning for what seemed like the hundredth time since I told him my plan. I needed time to work on signature creations and special orders, but I also needed to keep up with the muffin orders, and I loved sleeping by his side, and waking up with him in the morning. I needed time for life. That day at the Bowery, Joe had asked me if I knew anyone that was hiring. With Declan refusing to accept any rent money for the apartment and with the ridiculously low amount of rent I paid him for the kitchen lease, I found I had the funds to hire a baking assistant. I liked Hope the instant I met her. Something about her called out to me. Call me crazy, but when I looked at her, I knew she needed my help. Declan hadn't been pleased when I agreed to pay her under the table. I knew he was just trying to protect me, but I also knew it was the right thing to do.

"Are you headed out?" Hope asked as I dried my hands. She had spent the last few days with me; she was there even when she wasn't working because she said she liked hanging out. I liked having her around, and she was picking things up faster than I could have ever imagined. She was obviously very comfortable in the kitchen. Maggie would be coming by to supervise her, and it was just one night. I also knew that Matt was there to "keep her company". He had been there a lot too. He said he was working on stuff for the online store, but I saw the little glances he gave Hope and noticed he wasn't being as obnoxious as usual. He also kept bringing food and things to share which was very un-Matty-like. He was the friend that was always raiding your fridge and complaining that you didn't have anything good in it. Hope was quiet and shy. She had striking blue eyes and long blonde hair that fell in ringlets when she had it down. She was a few years younger than me, but she was what my grandmother would have called an "old soul". I got the feeling she had seen things in her life that one should never have to see. She also seemed to be wearing the same clothes every time I saw her. Don't get me wrong, she was very clean and tidy. Joe didn't know much about her, but he suspected that she was homeless. Said she had been showing up at The Bowery every day to "volunteer".

"Yep." I wasn't so sure of my plan anymore. Part of me wished she would tell me that she wasn't ready and beg me to stay. She didn't. "But if you need anything at all, I'm just a phone call away." Even though it had been my idea, and it was really for just one night, it was hard to leave. This must be how parents felt when they left their children at home with a babysitter.

 "She'll be fine, Mom," Matt said as he helped me into my coat and practically pushed me out the door. Yes, Hope was in good hands. Declan was waiting outside in yet another car. It was Saturday, and he was driving us out to the Hamptons for Suzie and Eric's wedding tomorrow. Declan raced around the car and opened my door for me.

After Declan had buckled in, he took my hand in his and raised it to his lips for a kiss. "It will be fine," he echoed what Matt had said as we pulled away from the curb. He never let go of my hand. Christmas carols played on the stereo system, and soon I drifted off.

"Wake up, Lemon Drop, we're here." My eyes fluttered open, and when I looked at him, he had an amused look on his face.

"What?"

"You've got a little drool." He wiggled his finger toward the corner of my mouth and laughed at me when I moved to wipe it away.

"You suck," I said as I playfully slapped his finger away.

With a salacious grin he said, "Well not right now, but I'm sure we can remedy that rather quickly."

"Is that a promise or a threat?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"Both." I liked the sound of that.

Suzie had made all of our arrangements, and the hotel had been thrilled when we asked them if they had a room available for tonight as well. The hotel actually looked like two older houses that had been joined together at some point by a sun room. I could completely picture Declan and I sitting on the front porch of the charming white house with the green shutters watching the sunset. He opened my door for me and carried our bags inside. The inside was nothing like what I was expecting. It was very vibrant and eclectic. Vivid patterns, turquoise walls, photos and art on every wall, a variety of live plants, sheep hides piled haphazardly, and knick-knacks everywhere. Nothing seemed to go together, and yet it all did. A bell above the door must have alerted the owners of our arrival, and we were welcomed warmly by not only them but a very friendly Bernese mountain dog.

"Velkomen," a large man greeted us as the woman scolded what I hoped was the dog since I really couldn't understand either one of them very well, although what he said sounded a lot like welcome.

The dog rubbed up against us, and his tail wagged back and forth. "I'm so sorry. He's just so happy to have guests this time of year that sometimes he forgets his manners. He gets so spoiled during our peak season." She snapped her fingers and said, "Hund" while looking at the dog, and he immediately obeyed her command and went down at our feet. "I'm Alva, and this is my husband Theo, and you've already met Hund." Declan chuckled as Theo divested him of our bags.

"Dog the dog. Clever," Declan said as I bent down to pet my new best friend. "Is your cat named cat too?" he asked as Theo began to chuckle along with him.

"Don't give her any ideas. Let me show you to your cottage." I read online that all of the rooms were named after famous Swedes; we were staying in one of the three cottages. Theo told us to make ourselves at home before he went up the stairs with our bags. The cottage was warm from the fire that was burning in the fireplace, a chilled bottle of bubbly and what looked like some kind of sweet bun were on the coffee table—it was all very welcoming. "Please don't hesitate to tell us if you need anything," and with that we were alone. Wasting no time, Declan popped the bubbly with a flourish and began to fill our glasses. As lovely as the sitting area in front of the fireplace looked, I had other ideas, so I picked up the plate of sweets and with an extra swing in my hips I ascended the stairs, where we enjoyed the very large and very comfortable bed completely.

With his camera around his neck and his gloved hand in mine, we strolled the sleepy coastal getaway. We ate chowder at a shack and perused quirky little antique shops, and then I drank hot chocolate while I watched Declan snap photo after photo. I was entranced by him. I was amazed every single time he showed me an image on his camera. We were looking at the same things, but he saw things so differently, so beautifully. It made me wonder. "What do you see in me?"

It seemed that my question caught him off-guard. To be perfectly honest, I was a little shocked by it myself. This man has everything. What could I possibly have to offer him? I was perched on top of a park bench that he had cleared the light dusting of snow off of. My ass was freezing, but up until I had opened my big mouth, I hadn't even noticed. Now I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. He came to stand between my legs. He kissed me on my forehead, and I closed my eyes. He trailed his warm lips down my nose before kissing the tip of it. Then his lips were on mine, and he gave me the sweetest kiss I had ever received. I missed his lips instantly, but I didn't open my eyes because I was afraid of what I might see. He moved away from me, but I still didn't dare to look. He hadn't said a word.

Snap.

The click of his camera forced me to look at him. He had a perplexed look on his face. He lowered the camera around his neck, and he took both my hands in his. "You have no idea? Do you? I guess I'll just have to show you." Without another word, we walked back to the inn. His stride was so brisk that I could barely keep up with him. We took off our coats and gloves, and he directed me to sit on the sofa in front of the fire. My pulse was racing. What on Earth could he possibly have to show me? I nervously fingered the necklace that he had given me while I waited for him where he had told me. Just as quickly as he had gone up the stairs, he came down with his laptop in hand. He sat next to me and booted it up. Once the machine came to life, he clicked on a folder that was on his desktop. It was simply titled "Lemon Drop" after a few clicks of his mouse he moved it in my direction and placed my hand on top of it. I didn't move. I couldn't. He pushed my finger down, and a photo appeared on the screen—it was me. I clicked again, and again. Every image was of me. I don't know how many times I clicked or when exactly I started to cry. Is this really what he sees when he looks at me? I didn't even know he had taken most of these pictures. Declan silently caressed me as I continued to see myself through his eyes. When I finally came to the end of the file, he took the memory card out of his camera and placed it in his computer. He downloaded what must have been the photos from our outing today. He clicked the image he wanted, and it filled the screen. My head was tilted up slightly, snowflakes had landed in my lashes, my nose and cheeks were red from the cold, and my lips were slightly parted. L-O-V-E. That's what I saw, and that's certainly what I felt, and at that moment I understood that I wasn't the only one that was utterly, truly, hopelessly, and completely in love. It's silly to think that something so big comes down to one four letter word. I didn't say it and neither did he. We didn't have to. We both felt it.

My stomach rumbled loudly, we never left our room to eat last night, and while the cream and almond paste that filled the buns that were in our room when we arrived was delicious, eating it off each other had really only left us wanting more. Declan picked up the phone on the bedside table. "Good morning, Alva. Yes, we will be over in just a few minutes." I loved how Declan's accent seemed to come out more when he spoke to someone else with one. "As much as I'd like to stay in bed with you all day, Lemon Drop, it's time for me to feed you." Staying in bed sounded delightful. Unfortunately, my stomach didn't feel the same way.

Hund and Alva welcomed us warmly as we entered the kitchen through the back door; Hund with his wagging tail and Alva had fresh hot coffee. "I hope you don't mind a traditional Swedish breakfast?" Alva asked as she filled our cups. My mind instantly watered as I thought of the pancakes that I was sure to indulge myself in, sadly IHOP's version of Swedish pancakes wasn't what I got. Alva offered us a smorgasbord that consisted of; butter, cheese, ham, pâté, cucumber, tomato, and bell pepper. Without hesitation, Declan made himself a sandwich on some type of cracker-like bread while I added a bunch of dried fruit and nuts to what I hoped was yogurt. It was a little runnier than what I'm used to. When Declan squeezed something out of a tube onto another cracker, I nearly gagged.

 "That's disgusting." Caviar was just gross, but seeing it come out of a tube like toothpaste just made it that much worse. He tried to kiss me on the cheek, but that was so not happening.

Alva had left us to eat. "OK, I'll brush my teeth first, but then I will be collecting that kiss. I think you'll much prefer Irish breakfast when we visit. We normally eat like kings for breakfast, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper." The thought of going to Ireland with Declan was overwhelming. I forgot all about the nasty caviar and planted a big juicy kiss on him.

After breakfast, I helped Alva with a "princess" cake while we waited for the happy couple to arrive. Suzie had a VIP event last night that she had to attend. Due to her hectic schedule they only had today to get married and celebrate their union. Tomorrow they would be back in the city, starting their life together as man and wife. Alva was a great teacher, and I was excited to see how I could transform the traditional celebratory dessert into a Signature creation. Layers of yellow sponge cake were filled with lingonberry jam and vanilla custard before we topped it with a heavy whipped cream and then covered it with white marzipan and pink sugar roses.

 "They just arrived," Theo announced as we put on the finishing touches. A limousine sat at the curb, and we all went out to welcome them. When the driver opened the door, he directed Eric out first. It was then that I noticed he was blindfolded. Eric reached back inside the car and retrieved a little fur ball I was excited to meet. I was so preoccupied with Declan the other night that I had forgotten all about her adorable white Teacup Maltese named Gidget. Gidget has almost as many followers as Suzie. Hund went crazy when he saw her. Eric handed the pint-sized dog to the driver and reached in and to take his bride's hand, she was blindfolded as well, keeping up the tradition of not seeing one another before the wedding. At Suzie's request, the driver put the tiny dog down. I feared for her life, but clearly Hund was a fan of Gidget's too. It was adorable. Warm welcomes were shared before we all went inside. The men stayed in the main house while Alva and I joined Suzie in the cottage where she and Eric would share their first night as husband and wife. Suzie was as cool as a cucumber as she and Alva discussed what needed to be done before she became Eric's wife at sunset. It was then that I learned that Suzie and Alva had been friends for many years. I was glad she had friends that she considered family to help her celebrate her special day with since her family was otherwise absent. Maybe they never got over the fact that she hadn't done what they expected of her. Maybe it was fitting that Eric didn't have family here either. They were starting a new journey, together.

The ceremony was performed by both Theo and Alva at sunset at the edge of the Atlantic. Instead of holding flowers, I rang a bell to ward off any evil spirits with Gidget nestled against me in a sling. Declan quickly stopped laughing when Eric mentioned that Suzie originally wanted him to wear the contraption instead of me. The exchange of vows was short but very sweet, and when Eric cried, I nearly lost all composure. The restaurant was closed except for our party, and thankfully the meal was more tailored toward Eric's Midwest roots than Suzie's Scandinavian ones. Eric and Suzie could barely keep their hands off one another during dinner, and when they took to the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife, they asked that we all join them. Declan took me in his arms. I felt like I was floating as he guided me across the dance floor while he sang the lyrics of the song softly in my ear. My heart swelled as I placed my head against his beating heart. When he sang of kissing me under the light of a thousand stars, I was breathless. I didn't even know when we stopped dancing. He continued to sing softly as he wiped away the tears I didn't even realize were falling. I didn't know when I became a crier. I seemed to do it all the time lately. Luckily, most of them are happy tears. I wasn't looking for love, but like the song and Declan said, maybe we had found love right where we are. The reception broke up rather quickly after that, but I don't think we were the only couple that had other places they wanted to be. Declan made love to me on the floor on those sheepskin rugs in front of the fireplace in our cottage. It was the perfect way to end an unforgettable day.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Declan boomed into his phone as we made our way out to the car to drive back to the city Monday morning. My plans to ravage him before forcing him to feed me a big American breakfast were foiled when his phone started going off shortly after eight. He was so preoccupied by whatever was going on at HIP that I think it barely registered when I took the keys away from him and got in the driver's seat. I miss driving, although driving in New York is nothing like driving in California. So it was a welcome treat, except that I would much rather be singing off-key with the radio blasting than listening to Declan yelling into his phone. I've heard Everett's name mentioned several times. Part of me wonders if Declan is especially unhappy with him because of our past. I like to think that Declan can separate his professional life from his personal life, but I've seen firsthand how protective he can be of me. Not that I need his protection, but a part of me likes it. It makes me feel precious which is also confusing. I'm not made of glass; I won't break, but I also like that feeling of being treasured and valued. "Fine, I'll be in shortly." Tension radiated off of him.

 "Anything I can do?" It's a lame attempt, but I didn't know what else to say.

 "No, but I need to get to the office as soon as possible. Do you mind if I just drop you off and go?"

 "Nope, that's fine." I wanted to work on his Christmas present anyway. I pulled up to the curb in front of the building, kissed him goodbye, and headed into Mama M's HQ as he sped away. The door was unlocked, I love the sound of the bells that chime when you enter, but it reminds me that I need to talk to Hope about keeping it locked when she is here alone. I would hate for anything to happen to her. As soon as I walked in, I was overpowered by her scent. Good lord, for a woman of impeccable taste, she should know that wearing that much perfume is in no way appealing. Hope stood frozen with a deer caught in headlights expression, and Abigail Hayes strummed her fire engine red acrylic nails on the table.

 "Well look what the cat dragged in," she snarled as I took in the scene before me. "What kind of business are you running here?" I didn't think that my crappy morning could get any worse than it already was. Apparently I was wrong. I ignored her snide remark and turned my attention toward Hope. She had no reason to be here at this time of day, but I also still had the sneaking suspicion that she had nowhere else to be which made me sad. It also made me glad that I could be the one to help her.

 "Hope would you please go wait for me upstairs while I speak with Mrs. Hayes?" At first she didn't respond to me. It was as if I hadn't even said her name at all. It wasn't the first time that had happened either. Abigail actually had the nerve to snap her fingers at her. What a bitch, but the action did catch Hope's attention.

 "I can stay in the kitchen if you like." I could tell that she was scared to death, so it was sweet that she didn't seem to want to leave me alone with Declan's vile mother.

I handed the apartment keys to her and told her that I would be right up and that I wanted to talk to her. Before leaving she made sure to tell me that Matty was on his way. I don't know if it was true, but I was grateful that "Evil Abby" thought he would here soon. Normally I would offer my guest something to eat or drink, but she didn't deserve my courtesy or any idle chit-chat. "What can I do for you?"

"I see you're making yourself right at home. I'm not sure what my son sees in you, but I'm sure it won't be long until he comes to his senses." She wanted a reaction from me, but I wasn't going to play into her hands. I held my tongue, and I think that got to her more than anything I could say. "My son has asked me to help with your little shelter. He's insistent that this be done before the end of the year." Declan had asked for his mother's help, and they had come home immediately. I tried to tell myself that it meant something. Declan told me that his mother was good at two things: spending money and getting her friends to spend money. Not that I needed to explain this to Abigail, but doing the event before the end of the year was smart. Many businesses have budgets that need to be spent before the end of the year. If he was right, with his mother's help, The Bowery could stand to gain a very large year-end donation, and for that I would do anything, including groveling at the feet of Abigail Hayes.

"What can I do to help?"

"How much would it cost to make you go away?" Was she actually trying to buy me off? She must really hate me. Instinctively, I put my hand on the heart necklace that Declan gave me. It's a symbol of what we have; faith, hope, trust, and last but not least, love. I have all of these things with Declan, and they are priceless. It's evergreen.

"I thought you said he would come to his senses soon. Why bother wasting your precious money on me? After all, I'm just the... What was it?" I place my finger on to lips as if I'm trying to think of the words she used when we had our lovely tea, "Oh that's right, 'his shiny new plaything'. I guess I haven't tarnished just yet."

 "Yet," she said as she abruptly got up to leave.

I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help myself as I tossed more of the spiteful words she said to me at tea right back at her. "Since you're on your way out could you take this with you?" I handed her a bag of trash. Hope must have been taking it out. She refused it, of course, and stormed out. What a bitch! This day could suck it!

#

After my run-in with Mommy Dearest—good Lord I had a lot of nicknames for this woman; I've heard of "monster-in-laws" before, but Abigail Hayes was in a league of her own—I went up to the apartment to find a very worried Hope. She obviously doesn't handle confrontation very well; she's so guarded. She doesn't like to talk about herself or her past. I'm fairly certain that Hope isn't even her real name. Sometimes I have to say it several times just to get her attention. I don't really care what her name is. All I can do is be here for her when she is ready; I know she will open up to me. Declan says that I shouldn't be so quick to trust her. I know his concerns are more about him than her. In the past, people have let him down. It's hard for him to trust. Hell, I have obvious trust issues too, but I can't let the actions of others in my past change the course of my future. That's what makes the necklace that Declan gave me so meaningful. I have his heart and the Celtic knot in the center of it represents faith, hope, and trust. I have faith that if I give Hope my trust, and hope that she will return it to me. The same is true for Declan too. Hope seemed content with spending the day with me. I'm surer than ever that she doesn't have anywhere else to go. I need to talk to Matt about her. I'm feeling a little off-kilter. I think it's a trifecta caused by my visit with Abigail Hayes, PMSing, and my twintuition going off. That fact that my sister isn't answering my calls or texts isn't helping either.

Declan's hair was a disheveled mess when he arrived, but he had a smile on his face and a large, beautiful bouquet of white flowers. His smile fell immediately when he saw me. "What's wrong?" he asked as he quickly crossed the room. I was sitting in the comfy chair near the window drinking a hot cup of tea. Hope had already gone downstairs to bake, and dinner was ready in the slow cooker. I must have looked as bad as I felt. I had on my oversized NYU hoodie and a pair of black yoga pants. The hood was up. The apartment wasn't cold, but putting the hood up is what I've always done when I need to feel comforted. He removed the cup from my hands and enveloped me in his arms. I think maybe he was a spy or a ninja in another life because sometimes his moves are so stealth-like. Maybe it's an Irish thing. Aren't Leprechauns fast? Before I even knew what had happened, he was sitting in the chair, and I was curled up in his lap. It was the most comfortable position ever. I never wanted to move. He tightened his arms around me as we both inhaled deeply. His delicious scent, the flowers, the Christmas tree, and the dinner filled me. It was more than just a smell, like the hood on my head, and being held in his arms, it was home. Love surrounded us, the thought of it overwhelmed me, and tears burst from my eyes as I was overcome by my emotions. He placed a tender kiss on my forehead before he spoke. "You are scaring me, Lemon Drop. What's going on?" The concern in his voice and on his face made me realize how foolish I was acting. Damn hormones.

"It's nothing." I attempted to scramble off his lap, but he didn't let me go. He looked like he had a long day, and he didn't need to come home to this. I stopped struggling to get off of him, wiped away my tears, and put my hands on his chest. "I'm just being a silly girl." I leaned forward to give him a peck, but as usual, things quickly heated between us. My hoodie was off and on the floor in seconds, and I had shifted to straddle him. He was rock hard as I ground against him. His right hand left my hip and began to slip inside the front of my yoga pants before I pulled away with a whimper. The funny thing is that I think he actually whimpered louder than I did. "I can't do this. My Aunt Flo is visiting."

 "Your aintín is here?" he asked as he began to actually look around the apartment for someone. I couldn't help but giggle.

 "Uh no." This was embarrassing and new for me. I felt like putting it up on a billboard in Times Square would have been less awkward. "It's arts and craft week at Panty Camp."

"What?" he seemed amused and slightly confused.

"It's shark week. You know, surfing the crimson tide and all that." Understanding finally crosses his face, and I couldn't look at him any longer. I feel just like I did when I told my mom the first time I got my period. She, of course, made a big deal out of it. She said that we had to celebrate me becoming a woman. Libby had joined the club six months before I did. I should have known how Mom would react. She meant well, but I never want to see red velvet cupcakes again. I swear I'm scarred for life.

He tipped my chin up so that I was forced to look at him. "You are adorable, Lemon Drop. Can I do anything for you while you're wearing your jam rag?" Now it was my turn to laugh. I thought I had heard them all before, apparently not. "If I wasn't the jealous type, I'd offer to page that Cullen fella for you." I loved this playful side of Declan. I shifted in his lap when I began to laugh again, and that's when I realized he was still hard. I crawled off of him onto the floor in front of him and reached for his belt. He grasped my hands. "What are you doing?"

"I may be having the garage painted, but I can still take care of you." He shook his head while he pulled me back into his lap. "What are you doing?" I returned the question he had just asked me.

"If you're out of commission then so am I." It was one of the sweetest things he had ever said to me. According to Nat, Gabe never missed the opportunity for a BJ, and I was glad that Declan didn't seem in a hurry to earn his "red wings". I know it shouldn't gross me out since we've shared other bodily fluids, but blood just grosses me out. "Dinner smells delicious." Declan seemed ready to move on, which I was more than fine with. With me in his arms, he stood and then placed me on the ground. "Please just tell me it's not tomato soup." God, we were both almost as bad as Matty.

"Thank you for the flowers. They are beautiful. What are they?" I knew whatever they were that they meant something.

 "They are freesias," he said before putting another spoonful in his mouth.

 "What do they signify?" I asked without thinking. We have never talked about the meaning of the flowers that he has bought me before, but I am certain that he knows I am on to him.

 "Trust," he said simply before returning to his food. My thoughts from earlier flooded me. Being twins, Libby and I share a bond that is hard for others to understand. I never thought I could feel this connected to another human being, but I do. It's not that he completes me because I know that I'm whole without him. He enhances me; he makes me a better version of myself. He lifts me up, and I like to think that I do the same thing for him.

We are sitting across from each other at the table. He puts his spoon down and takes both of my hands in his. "You make me a better man, Emily Barnes." How does he know that that is exactly what I was just thinking about him? I don't want to cry again, so I don't say anything. Words aren't needed, so I respond by simply squeezing his hands. Moments of silence pass between us, none of them uncomfortable. Christmas carols play softly in the background. It's everything I never knew I wanted.

 "Christmas is in ten days. What's the plan?" I've both dreaded this conversation and looked forward to it. I delight in all of the firsts we get to share together, but he has his parents and so far, my interactions with them have been anything but pleasant.

"Can you make that face again?" His tone is playful. I hadn't even realized I was making a face. "You make it whenever my parents come up in conversation." I open my mouth to refute him, but I can't so I close my mouth and attempt a smile. His parents are assholes. I don't want to spend time alone with them, let alone celebrate a holiday that is meant to be shared amongst loved ones. "Should I tell them to make reservations for four this year?" He's teasing, but it's sad that he's never had a home-cooked meal. His mother doesn't cook and "the help" have the day off. According to Maggie and Declan, Abigail can't even boil water. I wish Declan could have what I have with my family. Maybe they don't know what a true family Christmas really is, but I do. I can't give him much, but I can give him that, or at least try to.

"Why don't you invite them here for Christmas dinner?" He's shocked. Hell, I can barely believe I just uttered those words myself.

His head is thrown back as laughter fills the air. It's rich and robust. I think he expects me to be laughing right along with him because he seems stunned when he realizes that I'm not kidding. "You're serious?"

"It's your home, and they are your parents, Declan." My response seems to upset him.

"What's your address?" It's not the first time he has asked me this and his question makes me smile because I love the fact that he thinks of this as "our home". I find myself thinking that little four letter word more and more every day. I love his laugh. I love his smile. I love his sexy glasses. I love the way he seems to know what I'm thinking. I love the way he makes me feel. I guess I simply love _him_. A little voice in my head sometimes asks if love is enough. It wasn't for my parents, but it's all that I have. Would I trade what I have with Declan right now just to risk not being hurt somewhere down the road? No. I wouldn't trade what I have with Declan for anything in the world. I'm hanging on to the idea that with great risk comes great reward. Imagining my life without this sexy Irishman is impossible. At this point, even a day without him would be like a day without sunlight or air. The bottom line is that I need Declan in my life, warts and all, and, unfortunately, his warts are named Abigail and Kian Hayes. For him, I can do this.

"Invite them, but I want you to myself Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. I have plans for you," I say as suggestively as possible. He raises an eyebrow, and a salacious grin crosses his face.

"How long exactly will your aintín be in town?" Yeah, he's definitely worth the risk.

"Tell me why again I agreed to this?"

"Because you were sick about Nat complaining about the Bachelor party, and I was tired of Gabe's ridiculous guidelines for what us girls could and couldn't do at the Bachelorette party. It's called compromise." This was my first time officially hosting a party at "our" apartment, and I was a nervous wreck. Declan left to take a shower and get ready while I nervously checked everything for the hundredth time. Matt, my co-host for the evening, had come in with a frown on his face. Hope had insisted that she couldn't come because she had to work, and I know that it bummed him out. He still won't admit it to Nat and me, but we think he's really into her.

"That truly is ugly," Matt said as he checked out my sweater. Normally I would be offended, but it's just the reaction you want when you are competing in a fierce ugly sweater competition. Nat's matches mine because let's face it, how many times in your adult life do you get the chance to dress up with your BFF as twinsies? My mother never dressed Libby and me alike as kids. She said that although we looked the same and shared the same birthday, that was where our similarities ended. My twintuition is still telling me something is off with her, but she did text me that she is fine. I know from experience that she will come to me when she is ready. Until then I just have to remind her that I am always here for her. She's in Nashville right now with her current loser boyfriend. Apparently he's going to be the next "big thing". Yeah, right. At least she got a job tending bar. It's not ideal, but at least she's behind the bar and not on it. That's progress. "Oh shit," Matt cursed before he doubled over laughing. It was a good thing I didn't have anything in my mouth because I would have either choked on it or sprayed it everywhere. Instead of a sweater Declan wore jeans, a crisp white button-down shirt, and the ugliest jacket and matching tie that I have ever seen. "I didn't know Brooks Brothers did fugly." Matt snorted as we took in the monstrosity before us. The jacket was bright blue with red stripes that broke up altering rows of white snowflakes and reindeer.

"I nailed this, Lemon Drop," Declan boasted proudly as he brushed his lapels. I had offered to help him, and I had seriously doubted him when he said that he could manage without me. I didn't think the man was capable of making anything look bad, don't get me wrong, he's still gorgeous, but his outfit is hideous.

"You totally did, babe." As usual, his smile grew when I called him that. "And if you play your cards right, it won't be the only thing you nail tonight."

"Gross, I think I just threw up in my mouth," Matt said, apparently I wasn't as quiet as I thought.

"Pussy, you're tossing your cookies already," Gabe said as he and Natalie walked in together. "Do I need to replace you as Best Man with ICB?" Declan's arms wrapped around me from behind, and I felt warm and tingly all over. I'm not sure if it was from his proximity or the fact that my friends so easily accepted him so completely. I never realized before how much their approval mattered, but it does, and I got a thrill out of watching them interact.

"I like seeing you smile so much," Nat said as she interrupted me from admiring me fella from across the room. I can't deny it, I like it too. "I thought Suzic would be here?" She questioned with a pout. Nat asked if we would invite Suzie and Eric. To say that she is a little star struck is the understatement of the year.

I quickly turn on my best friend and cross my arms in anger because I can't stand the "Suzic" portmanteau the press has given Suzie and Eric. Apparently they were seen leaving city hall when they got their marriage license, and everyone is now on bump watch since Suzie ran off and eloped rather than spending over a year planning the "wedding of the year". Nothing could be further from the truth, the sunset wedding was magical. I hope that when we share our vows, Declan has the same look that Eric had in his eyes. Shit! Where did that come from? I need another drink! I don't know who I'm madder at, Nat or myself so I just walk away shaking my head in search of that drink.

We've rented a party bus for the evening, and now I just have one more person to get on the bus before we can get this show on the road. The bell above the door chimes as Maggie and I enter Mama M's. While part of me feels guilty for asking Maggie for so much help lately, I know that she loves giving it. Both she and Declan have mentioned several times that his parents are rarely home long enough to justify even having live-in help. For Abigail Hayes, it probably had more to do with status than need. Hope is surprised to see us. "What are you doing here?"

"Kidnapping you," I say as I toss an ugly sweater at her.

She catches it but shakes her head. "I'm working."

"You were," Maggie says as she approaches her while signaling for her to untie her apron and put on the sweater. It's awfully hard to say no to Maggie. Hope doesn't put up much of a fight. Smart girl.

Matt's somber mood changes the instant Hope and I join everyone on the bus. I just pray that whatever secrets Hope is keeping don't hurt Matty.

Our first stop is O'Mary's. Matt and I decided that Gabe should have all the things that he wanted for the wedding that Nat vetoed and that we would also do some things that Nat loves. Before we enter the bar, I place a tiara and bride-to-be sash on my friend while Matt clamps a plastic ball and chain around Gabe's ankle. They look ridiculous. I love it!

The boys versus girl's game of flip cup is epic. If we weren't all feeling warm and fuzzy from the drinks and the heated competition, we might have some upset men on our hands. I believe a rematch has already been thrown down. Suzie and Eric joined us, and thankfully Nat has yet to use the dreaded nickname. The bus takes our noisy group to our next destination. The business is normally closed this time of day since their normal clientele should have been asleep hours ago.

"Holy shit! You guys are the best!" Gabe is jumping up and down like a kid. The smile on his face is contagious.

"I always wanted to come here when I was a kid," I can hear the awe in Declan's voice as we enter the large building, and I love it. It makes me sad to think that he missed out on stuff like this. I'm glad that I get to be a part of making another one of his childhood wishes come true. The warehouse is large and full of things to explore. Gabe wanted a ball pit at the wedding, but Nat didn't see the need since it's an adult event on New Year's Eve. Maybe she forgot that she was marrying a big kid at heart.

We spent hours acting like children. We drank Jell-O shots that were of the adult variety, went down giant inflatable slides hand in hand, and hit each other with oversized boxing gloves. The giant Twister game had me looking for places to sneak away with Declan. Unfortunately, we still had Nat's surprises waiting. When we walked out of the building, one of them was waiting for us. Nat's favorite food truck in the city was waiting for us and it was a good thing, because we all needed something to soak up the alcohol if we were going to make it to our final destination.

The bus was silent except for the moans of pleasure coming from everyone as we ate our grilled cheese sandwiches. A passerby would probably think we were having an orgy in here. I went with the classic cheese only version that reminded me of my childhood while Declan went with a cheesy mac and cheese that was paired with pulled pork and caramelized onions that looked out of this world. "Just like mom used to make," I said without thinking after swallowing my last bite. How could I be so insensitive? "I..." I didn't even know what to say to the man.

"It's OK, Lemon Drop. I'm glad you had a mom that made you grilled cheese sandwiches. Our kids will be lucky to have you as a mom." _Holy shit!_ Our _kids?_ I know that we've joked about Buck and Bruce, but he said it with such sincerity. Maybe it was the Jell-O shots talking. He squeezed my thigh and smiled, but it did lessen the guilt and shock I felt. He leaned over and kissed me softly. I decided at that moment to give Declan all the things that he missed out on as a child. All the things I would someday give our kids too.

 "Oh my God, how did you do this?" Nat is almost as bad as Gabe was earlier. When I told Declan where I wanted to go and the problem I was having, he told me he would get us in. When I asked him how, he told me that he "had his ways." Dimple is small, and it's always packed. They take karaoke pretty seriously in here. I've seen the bartender snatch the microphone right out of someone's hand because they were taking too long to pick a song or because they sucked. Trust me that's a mistake I won't make again. Ever. Seats were waiting for us to arrive, and I felt a surge of pride because Declan had really delivered.

 "You are so getting laid tonight," I tell him as I sit in his lap while our friends start to look over the song selections. The only response I get is a deep growl that makes my panties wet. Eric and Suzie are the first to take the stage. It's hard to believe that they haven't known each other longer. They are totally in sync as they sing together. What they lack in talent, they make up for in cuteness. It's obvious that they adore each other. Nat is next; the crowd goes crazy when she pulls Gabe up on stage and makes him sit in a chair that has been placed center stage. Nat tells her "Dear Future Husband" what she expects from him, and everyone is eating it up. Sometimes I still wish I could be more like her. She's so certain that Gabe is her one true pairing or OTP, as she likes to say. I never really believed in the notion before, but I find myself wondering more and more if Declan can be that for me. The crowd goes crazy as Gabe dips Nat on stage and then proceeds to kiss her like they don't have an audience. The host tells Gabe he can go next, and before I really know what's happening, I'm being shifted off of Declan's lap and Matt, Eric, and Declan are joining Gabe on stage. Nat flops down next to me, breathless and giggling like a schoolgirl. The host hands them all cowboy hats and bandanas that they tied around their necks. The only thing that would make it any hotter would be chaps. I think a little roleplaying might be in our future.

 "Do you know about this?" Nat asks, but all I can do is shake my head. I have no idea what they are about to do, but it's obvious they had this planned. The familiar beat starts and Gabe and his entourage start clapping along with the tune, getting everyone else going. Gabe sings the first verse. When he gets to the point about his baby having all his love the guys make hearts with their hands, and I swear panties are melting off every woman in the bar. It doesn't escape me that Matt seems to be singing straight to Hope. The guys join Gabe in the chorus. "I think I just got pregnant," Nat yells as she swoons at her man on the stage. It stings a little when they reach the point where they promise to "stay true". Nat doesn't take her eyes off Gabe, but she takes my hand in hers and grips it. She knows me so well. In the middle of the chaos that surrounds me, I'm reminded of something my grandmother used to say about her best recipes coming from trying new things. If I never gave him the chance to stay true to me I would never know what could come of trying. Hell, if I was honest with myself, trying was the only option because at this point I couldn't imagine not having Declan in my life. I thought of the flowers— the freesias. Declan was asking me to trust him, and I was going to.

 "Save a horse, ride a cowboy," Suzie yelled at our men as they once again told everyone that they would stay true. If I wasn't thinking the exact same thing, I would have burst out laughing. The song ended, and the bar went crazy as the guys re-joined us on the large leather sofa we were occupying. I hadn't even noticed that Hope was up next until she started to sing, and the loud bar went silent. The only sound that could be heard was her amazing voice. 

#

Declan and I had become tourists in our own city. While he considered himself a New Yorker, he did spend the vast majority of his childhood at a boarding school in Ireland, and his family was always away for the holidays. Even if they weren't, his mother was too busy with her social calendar, and his father was too busy at work to be bothered to spend time with his son. It's amazing that he is so well-adjusted. Wheeler and Brit had both told me on multiple occasions that Declan never seemed to have much of a life before meeting me. It seemed as though he was resigned to following in his father's footstep of focusing all of his attention on HIP. Me, I'd only called New York home for a brief time, and while I'd seen some of the things the city has to offer at this great time of year, I never had any money, or I was busy picking up any extra hours at work to enjoy it. When you work retail, the last thing you want to do is spend your free time window shopping or surrounded by crowds of people. This year I was enjoying everything the city had to offer; the tree at Rockefeller, window displays along Fifth Avenue, and all the decoration on Avenue of the Americas, ice skating in Bryant Park, frozen hot chocolate, and being sick from eating too much candy at FAO Schwarz. Tonight was the cherry on top, tickets to Radio City Music Hall. After all, nothing says Christmas like thirty-six Rockettes doing high-kicks.

Declan took my gloved hand in his. I was smiling from ear to ear. I couldn't help it. I stopped walking and turned to face him. "Thank you for tonight. That was a dream come true."

_The evening hadn't started off on the best foot. Declan had asked me to meet him for dinner. Traffic was a nightmare, so I was late. I was glad to find out that our table wasn't ready, and happily I tried relaxing with a glass of wine while we waited at the bar, Declan, on the other hand, kept checking on the table, like irritating the hostess would get us a seat sooner. It wasn't his usual style. Without explanation, he rushed the waiter by ordering for both of us as soon as we were seated. I was thrilled with what he ordered for us, so I decided to let it go. I reminded myself that I needed to pick my battles, and since I really wanted what he ordered, it wasn't worth an argument. As usual, the food was delicious. However, Declan still seemed agitated and rushed. When I couldn't decide on a dessert, he looked at his watch and told the waiter that we didn't have time. This pissed me off because desserts are what I do. I was intrigued by the choices and was hopeful that we would each order something different and share. "What's wrong with you?" I asked as he practically pulled me out of the restaurant._

_"I have a surprise for you. It's time sensitive," he told me without even stopping. My fella was on a mission, and my anger instantly turned into excitement as I stopped dragging my feet to get to my surprise._

_"Are you kidding me?" I asked once we reached our center stage seats at Radio City. They had to have been the best seats in the house._

_"Only the best for you, Lemon Drop," he said before placing a soft kiss on my lips just as the lights went down. No wonder he had been in such a hurry. I've heard horror stories about people being stuck in theatre lobbies watching shows from television monitors instead of from their seats because they were late to the theatre, and I was thankful that hadn't happened to us. The show was everything I thought it would be and more. I could picture us bringing our kids here to see the show someday. What the hell? I was thinking about our kids again. The thought should have made me nervous. Instead, it made me warm and tingly all over as I pictured many Christmases to come together. I wore a humongous smile on my face throughout the entire show.  _

"You naked in my bed is a dream come true," Declan said with a grin bringing me back to the present.

"Hum. Are you sure you aren't thinking about all those luscious legs you just saw on stage?"

He pulled me close and nuzzled my neck as we waited for Eric and the car. "The only legs I am imagining are yours, wrapped around me, as I make you scream my name while I fuck you against the wall." My panties were instantly drenched from the combination of his words and his hot breath against my exposed skin, but I liked toying with Declan, or shall I say igniting him.

"Darn. I thought some of those Santas could have really rung my bell." At one point, the stage was full of young male dancers costumed in Santa suits. Of course, I had no idea what they looked like because of the costumes and the only man I had any interest in was the green-eyed Irishman, who growled in my ear. Mission accomplished.

"I think you've been very naughty, Miss Barnes." Declan had no idea how just how naughty, but when he unwrapped me from my dress when we got home, he would certainly find out.

"Do you think I'll get coal in my stocking?" I asked as I nipped at his ear. He pulled me closer against him and even through our winter coats I could feel him hard against me. I moved my hips suggestively against him. "You know, a big, giant, lump of hard combustible carbon?"

"You're playing with fire, Lemon Drop."

"You know what they say... If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." Eric needed to get there with the car before we both got arrested for indecent exposure and disturbing the peace. As if he timed his arrival perfectly with my thoughts, Eric pulled up to the curb.

"Aye, it's a good thing you stopped arsing around, you chancer," Declan grumbled at his friend and driver as he pulled me closer to him in the back seat.

I couldn't help but giggle at the two men. "What's a chancer?" Eric and Declan both laughed because I asked my question in my best imitation of Declan. Once the pair stopped laughing, Declan explained that it was a person who was pushing their luck. Eric just shook his head and continued to laugh.

"Sorry, I was taking care of that other errand you had me running." I wondered what else Declan could possibly be having Eric doing at this hour. When we arrived at the apartment, Eric handed Declan a large bag and wished us both a good night. I was tempted to go check on Hope, but my desire to be fucked hard against the wall and find out what was in the bag was stronger. Hands down, I made the right choice. This night was one for the record books. Wall sex. Front row seats at Radio City. Declan unwrapping me to discover my very naughty lingerie. Using Declan's body as a dessert plate, because the bag Eric had given him contained one of each of the desserts from the restaurant we ate dinner at. Let's just say I was feeling totally wrecked but completely inspired by the end of the night, or should I say morning.

I startled awake when Declan sat up in bed. I wasn't exactly sure what was going on, so I flipped on the bedside lamp. Even in the low light I could see the sheen of sweat that covered Declan's body. Worried that he had a fever, I moved towards him, placing my hand on his forehead like my mother had done for me and my sister so many times. Thankfully he didn't seem to have a fever. His eyes were closed, and he took a deep breath the moment I touched him like it was his first. His reaction to my touch did something to me. He took my hand in his and kissed it tenderly, and when our eyes met, I saw something, felt something. I can't describe it, but I know without a doubt that Declan felt it too. He crushed his lips to mine as he pulled me from beside him until I was straddling him. He was wearing nothing but boxers, and I was wearing one of his well-worn Trinity College t-shirts. I ground my hips against his already stiff cock as he swiped the shirt over my head. The brush of the soft cotton against my hardened nipples made me tremble in anticipation. I didn't have to wait long because as soon as the shirt was off his strong hands landed on my breasts and were quickly joined by his mouth. He sucked one nipple while he teased with the other with his fingers. We both groaned as I rolled my hips against him. Suddenly I found myself on my back. I clung to Declan as he entered me. It was as if neither of us could get close enough to each other. It was about more than just being inside me. It felt almost primal. Possession is the only word that comes close to what I felt, but it didn't feel one-sided. It was as if he needed me to own him too. Other than moans and grunts of satisfaction, neither of us had even spoken since we woke. Our bodies rocked in rhythm, and with my legs wrapped around his thighs he hit my clit perfectly. I'd never felt so connected to one person, which is saying a lot because I'm a twin. Libby and I had always been so in tune with each other, but this was so much bigger than that. I can't begin to describe it. My orgasm was so strong and so long that I didn't just see stars when it hit, I saw the entire galaxy. As tempted as I was to keep my eyes closed as the waves of pleasure rolled through me, I didn't. I opened them and gazed into Declan's beautiful green eyes. As he gazed at me while he reached his climax, I swear those Irish eyes were smiling.

I don't know how long we stayed there—still connected—before he finally got up and went into the bathroom. I winced when he pulled out of me, and he looked at me with remorse. I wasn't sorry one bit. I had never felt so united in my life. He returned moments later and still without words he tenderly cleaned me up with a warm washcloth. Never in my life had I ever shared such intimacy with another person. He tossed the cloth on the floor and pulled me to his chest. I loved how he lifted me as if I didn't weigh anything. I traced infinities on his bare chest with my finger, because I wanted to feel this connection to him forever.

"I had a bad dream." I didn't say anything because I wanted him to keep talking, but I wanted him to know that I was listening, so I placed my hand flat over his heart. "At first I was a just a kid asleep in my room, but it was so hot. When I woke up, I started looking for something. The hall seemed so long when I opened the door. I don't know maybe things just look bigger when you are a little kid." He tightened his arm around me. "I think I was looking for you. Maybe I've always been looking for you." What could I say to that? Instead of words, I replaced my hand with my lips, and I kissed his chest where his heart was rapidly beating. He responded by pressing his lips against the top of my head.

Declan was gone when my alarm went off. He left me a note that said he was sorry, but that he had to get to the office for an early meeting. I hoped that he wasn't avoiding me or what had happened between us. I got dressed to meet up with Nat for coffee. I'm surprised I ended up with matching shoes and socks on because I certainly wasn't paying attention to anything when I was getting ready.

"Yee haw, you look like you were rode hard and put away wet," Nat said as she handed me my much-needed cup of caffeine.

"Peanut butter," I simply said to Nat as her warning to back off. I love my best friend, but she can be a little over the top sometimes. When we were roommates we decided to establish safe words of sorts. I don't think Natalie has told me aardvark more than twice since we started while I've told her peanut butter more times than I can count. It's simple but effective.

 "Oh shit," she exclaimed before taking several sips of her drink which allowed me also to enjoy mine. She was tapping the side of her cup, which was a clear indication to me that she was thinking about something. She stilled before asking, "Have you told him yet?"

"Told him what?" I asked nonchalantly.

"You might be fooling yourself, but you're not fooling anyone else, and neither is he. It's so obvious that you two are both in L-O-V-E." Just hearing the word made me shutter.

"What is this, kindergarten? First comes love..."

"Oh my God, then comes marriage. Then comes baby in the..."

 "Peanut butter, peanut butter, peanut butter!" I practically yelled like a child having a temper tantrum. If I hadn't been holding my coffee, I would have been covering my ears like a five-year-old too. People were starting to look at us.

 "Are you done?" she asked me.

 "Are you?" Nat knew I was freaking out.

 "I can't, Natalie." I never her call her that unless I mean business.

 "For fuck's sake, Emily. When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that you deserve to love and to be loved?" We've had countless arguments about this over the years. One of the only reasons why I ever even dated in college was to just shut Nat up, which is kind of ironic because she was the only reason I ever agreed to go out with Gabe and then they ended up being perfect for each other. To Nat, that just proved her point that everything happens for a reason.

 "I don't want him to break my heart. I don't think I could survive it."

"It's a little late for that." She pointed at the necklace from Declan that was hanging around my neck. She had a point. "Do I have to remind you that he's not your dad, and he's not David? Emily, I know that your dad hurt you, but your mom told you that the marriage had been over for a long time. Yes, he should have made it official before he hooked up with someone else, and Declan's not a sixteen-year-old boy who will say anything to get his dick wet." I had to give her two more points. "You, Emily Barnes, are the smartest and most amazing person that I know. Stop acting like an idiot and in the words of Emerson, 'obey thy heart'."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Still working on your vows?"

 "Yep, but you've got to admit that was pretty good." That I did. We finished our drinks off in silence. "What spooked you?"

As worried as I was to share this with Nat, I knew she might be able to shed some light. She's one of the crazy people that actually keeps a dream journal right beside her bed, and she's attended several seminars on dream interpretation. "He had a dream last night." He had finally shared what had woken him up after we made love.

"Do tell." I could tell that she was intrigued by this.

"You can't say anything to him or the guys." I knew she wouldn't, but I still felt better having said the words out loud. She held up her pinky, and we latched them together before I told her what Declan had told me about his dream.

 "Warmth is good. It means he's happy where he is in his life right now. I'm not sure about him being a kid. You said he's not close with his parents. Maybe he's stressed about something at work." She placed her index finger over her lips. "Or maybe he wants you to care for him like he should have been by his parents when he was a kid." I never believed in all this before, but that did make sense.

"What about the long hall?"

"He's in a transitional phase."

 "Brit has said that she's never seen him like this before." Nat elbowed me and smirked.

"It could also mean that he's trying to escape from a repetitive situation. Like he doesn't want the same kind of relationship with you as he has with his parents. That's probably why he was looking for you. I think he's afraid of losing you."

"You think?"

"Absolutely. What happened when he woke up?"

"I can't describe it."

 "Try," she urged.

 "We had sex, but it was so much more. It was like we were woven together." Just like the Celtic knot he gave me. Just like our hearts. Yeah, she was right: it was too late.

"Holy crap, you had tantric sex." I shook my head because it wasn't kinky. "It sure sounds like it. It's not like you have to buy an Oriental rug, shave your head, or listen to Sting to do it. It's like you worshiped each other, it transcends physical sex. That is so f'ing hot." Yeah, maybe she was right. Woven together was exactly what that connection had felt like. I guess it was time for me to go search my old friend Google.

#

"Are you sure that you're ready for this?" It was Christmas Eve, and we were standing at the door of Gabe's parents' house. I'd tried to prepare him, but it was just one of those things you had to experience yourself to understand.

The door flew open before he could answer me. "It's about freakin' time. We were just about ready to send out a search party for you." As usual, my best friend was exaggerating. She'd been a part of this madness for as long as I had, but she's an only child like Declan. I hoped he could handle the chaos better than she did. "Halleluiah, you brought more wine." Declan snickered at her as she not so gently pulled the bottles out of his hands and turned back inside. Declan gestured for me to enter before him. After I had put down the bag of gifts I was carrying, he helped me to remove my coat before removing his own and hanging them on the coat rack. He looked yummy in his pressed, white, dress shirt and black cords, and he seemed very appreciative of my red sweater dress. I had recently added several new dresses to my closet.

"Last chance." We were alone in the front entry, but from the noise level it was clear that everyone else was right around the corner in the family room that was open to the kitchen and dining area.

He placed his palm up, and I placed mine in it. I didn't know why I was so nervous. They were my family, not by blood, of course, but that was one of the reasons I loved them. It was understandable when they welcomed Nat and her parents since she was marrying Gabe, but they accepted me too, and I know without a doubt they would do just about anything to see me smile and love me no matter what. I guess that's why I was so nervous. I had a strong feeling that Declan was about to be grilled by the three other Medina men: Justin, Gabe's older brother, and Seth, Nat's dad. He couldn't say that he wasn't warned.

"Nollaig Shona Duit," Gwen and Marion said in unison as we entered the room.

Declan beamed as he wished them Merry Christmas in return. It was sweet that he didn't embarrass them by correcting their awful pronunciation. While I was prepared for glares, we didn't get them. I'd have to ask Nat about the talking to they all got from Gwen before our arrival.

"Did you bring me a pwesent?" Tyler, Justin and Cassie's four-year-old asked as he launched himself at me. Luckily, my hands were now empty because the little guy was built like a tank. I struggled to pick him up.

"Tyler James Sutherland," Cassie admonished as she approached us with Reese, the newest addition to the tribe in her arms. "Here. Hold her," she said as she passed the tiny pink bundle to Declan before he could disagree. Damn he looked good holding a baby. She took Tyler from me, and placed him on the ground and knelt before him. "That was very rude. Do you remember what we told you about Christmas?"

Tyler was almost as red as my dress. His bottom lip was jutted out, and he lowered his head as his eyes brimmed with tears. "Jesus is the weason for the season." Cassie smiled as she tipped her sons chin up so that he would see her face.

"That's right, Tyler. Now give me some sugar and apologize to your Auntie M." He gave his mother a big sloppy kiss before turning his attention to me. He wrapped his arms around my legs before quickly being sidetracked by his auntie Amber, who was shaking presents under the tree. Apparently he wasn't the only one with presents on his mind. Cassie just shook her head as she stood up and apologized for her son before formally introducing herself to Declan.

"Looks like you found yourself a natural," Tami said as she joined us. Declan had met Tami the day of the shower. Declan was swaying back and forth still holding Reese in his arms. And I thought he was sexy naked, this view beat that hands down. "I'm so glad you scooped this one up. We were beginning to worry that she would never find someone." Now it was my turn to turn red. "That's my husband, Mel. That's Mike, and that's Mark." She pointed to each of the Medina men, and they lifted their glasses. Declan hadn't met Mel at the bridal shower because he was at work. Mike and Mark both lived and worked in Syracuse, and didn't make it to the city very often.

 "So you have a Mel, Matt, Mark, and Mike in your family?" Declan asked in disbelief.

 "Yep, a bunch of M&M's." Reese began to fuss. Declan moved her to his shoulder and began to pat her back. I swear my biological clock started ticking the moment I saw him holding the baby. I began to worry that everyone in the room could hear it.

 "I think she wants something you can't give her," Justin said with a wink as he joined his wife and daughter.

"True, I don't think I've got the right equipment." Declan carefully handed the not-so-happy baby back to her mother.

Nat handed me a glass of wine, and as I put it to my lips she whispered, "That's not what she said," in my ear. I nearly launched wine all over Tami. Declan gave me a knowing look before also accepting a glass of wine. We heard the front door open behind us.

 "That must be my baby boy and his girl." I had been so busy since we arrived that I hadn't even noticed Matty was missing.

"What girl?" I asked Nat, but before I could answer, Matt entered the room with a visibly nervous Hope.

"Uncle Matty's here! Let's eat so that Santa can come and bring me my pwesents!" Tyler obviously was aware that we were waiting for everyone to get here before eating.

 "He's all yours this time, Daddy," Cassie told Justin from her place on the sofa where she had covered herself with a blanket to feed their daughter.

The men were all in the kitchen cleaning up dinner. While you could tell Declan was somewhat overwhelmed with the large group, Hope seemed right at home with it. While I had tried numerous times to get her to tell me more about her family, the only times I had been successful was when she talked about recipes. When she talked about things her grandma and mom baked, I would notice a slight twang in her voice. I still felt she was hiding something, but if she trusted me she would tell me when she was ready, and in the meantime she had one of the greatest guys around looking after her. As reluctant as she was, I often caught her smiling when she looked at him. Matty is pretty irresistible.

 "We've got pie," Mark, the eldest of the Medina brothers announced as the men entered the room.

 "And banana pudding," Matt proudly proclaimed as he smiled at Hope. Apparently, she had insisted that she couldn't come empty handed, and made her Granny's famous pudding. I knew that girl was from the south.

Plates were quickly passed around as the men joined us around the tree. Tyler was tired and about to lose his mind if he didn't get to open his one present before he went to bed. I glanced at my watch, and as much as I was enjoying our evening, Declan and I didn't have much time either.

"Oh my God, bro, if you don't marry this girl, I will." Mark, the eldest Medina sibling moaned as he finished off a serving of Hope's dessert. The room broke into laughter because Mark swore he was never, ever getting married every single time Tami pestered him and Mike about settling down and giving her grandbabies. Tonight, she was relatively quiet about it, but she had a gleam in her eye whenever she glanced at Hope.

Hope blushed, and Matt looked like he was about to deck his brother. It wouldn't be the first time a family gathering ending in a brawl between the brothers. "Back off my girl, besides that's what you always say when you eat Emily's pie." Declan made that low guttural sound he does when he's feeling territorial towards me and pulled me closer to his side. I never thought possessiveness was sexy before. Boy was I wrong.

"Pwesent time!" Tyler declared. Amber began handing out a gift to each one of us. Declan looked shocked when she handed him one. Earlier in the week we had made tins of cookies for all of our friends and my adopted family. Besides helping me with the baking, Declan insisted that we pair each tin with several bottles of very nice wine. We had also agreed on how much we would spend on each other. OK, so it was more of a compromise after a rather heated argument. We set the maximum at two hundred and fifty dollars on each other. The make-up sex made the exchange worth every penny. It was more than I would normally spend, but I wasn't paying rent and Mama M's was doing very well.

"Who's this from?" Declan asked quietly so that only I would hear. The only gifts that he knew I had bought for tonight were for the kids and I told him that the adults didn't exchange gifts which was kind of a fib, because Gwen, Tami, and Marion always go crazy on all of us "kids".

"Me," I placed a kiss on his cheek. "Open it." It was fairly obvious from the size and shape of the box what it was, but I hoped he would think it was special.

He ripped the wrapping paper like he was the same age as Tyler, who was busy doing a victory dance around the room with his new toy hoisted above his head.

"Oh, wow." I took that as a good sign as he held the tie up to admire it.

"A tie for the big time business man? That's original." Amber said like the sarcastic teen that she is. I buried my head in his shoulder. She was right it was a really stupid idea.

"This isn't just any tie Amber," Declan said as he pressed his lips to the top of my head before explaining. "This happens to be the Hayes family tartan. It's also one of the most thoughtful gifts I've ever received. Thank you, Lemon Drop. I will always hold this dear." I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. It was then that I noticed everyone in the room with the exception of Tyler had stopped what they were doing and were focused completely on us.

"Good Lord, is it warm in here?" Marion asked as she began to fan herself.

"Shit, is it that late?" I asked when I saw the time.

"Shit," Tyler parroted me.

"Tyler James, Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice. I think it's time for you to say goodnight and go to bed." Cassie might have been scolding her son, but with the look that she was giving me, I knew I was just about to go on the naughty list too.

"Sorry," I mouthed.

"We really need to get going." Declan seemed confused, but we really did need to go. We said a hasty goodbye, and as we walked hand in hand to the car I asked him, "Do you trust me?"

"Without a doubt."

"Good because I need you to hand me the keys and put this on." I handed him a blindfold. He opened the driver's door for me before handing me the keys and settling into the passenger seat with his eyes covered.

 "Only in New York," I quipped when I pulled up to the curbside valet.

"Ma'am", the attendant said as he opened my door for me. I told Declan to wait for me. He had no idea where we were, and it was making him crazy. I opened his door for him and told him that he could take off the blindfold. Saint Patrick's Cathedral was a light as a mass of people entered the ornate build for midnight mass.

"We need tickets, Lemon Drop." Declan said when he realized what I had in mind, and that's when I held them up. I kind of felt like Charlie with a golden ticket.

"How?" Tickets are free, but if you don't order them in September, you can forget about getting them. I took his hand in mine and began to pull him towards the majestic church. "Wait a second." He stopped, reached into his inside jacket pocket, pulled out his new tie, and placed it around his neck before asking me to tie it for him.

Tears filled my eyes as I took in the full choir singing Christmas hymns in matching green robes, surrounded by thousands of candles, wreaths, red ribbons, and poinsettias, but that wasn't what brought tears to my eyes—it was the amazing man beside me and the intimate moment we just shared when he bowed before me so that I could tie the material that represents his family and us in a knot. A simple knot. A knot that binds us together by faith, hope, trust, and maybe if what everyone else says is true...Love.

#

I'm awakened Christmas morning to something very soft caressing my face. My eyes fluttered open when the delicate surface passed under my nose, and I took in the sweet fresh scent that was mixed with the smell that was uniquely Declan. I was actually shocked that I slept at all. Mr. and Mrs. Hayes had agreed to come to dinner, and I was nervous as hell about it. Declan would never admit it, but I think he was nervous too. At least we had last night and this morning.

"Good morning, my lovely Lemon Drop. Merry Christmas." His mischievous smile brightened the room that was devoid of sunlight. It was very early, but he seemed so excited to start the day. He was all man, but I loved times like that when he had the enthusiasm of a child.

I tried to put my hand over my mouth to cover my dragon breath, and he caught it in one hand. He tapped the end of my nose with what I could now see was a rose with the other. He'd never bought me roses before. This one was white with red around the edges, and I was instantly reminded of a poem about pure white roses with the flush of desire on its petal tips.

"Kiss me," he pleaded as I attempted to get out of bed so that I could brush my teeth and kiss him properly. He was taunting me because he knew I didn't like to kiss before I brushed, so to shock him, I lifted my head and placed a chaste kiss upon his lips.

"Well, that's a start," he said with a slap on my ass as he let me out of bed. "Get moving, it's pwesent time." Did I happen to mention just how adorable he is when he acts like a kid?

I met him in the kitchen where he was filling up our coffee cups. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and pressed my lips against his neck to wish him a Merry Christmas. That's when I noticed the giant bouquet of fire and ice roses that belonged with the single one he had in the bedroom. It was at least three dozen, and they were absolutely breathtaking. I had no idea where they came from; they weren't there last night when I snuck out of bed to put out his presents. He abandoned our drinks and turned to face me to kiss me properly. It was the kind of kiss that made me glad his strong arms were wrapped around me, holding me up. "Thank you for the roses." _Is it wrong that I secretly hoped that's not my gift? I do love them, but...._

"Those are just because. Let's go open presents." It was amazing that he knew exactly what I was thinking. _Just because? Because he loves me?_ I used the excuse that I needed to get breakfast in the oven to give myself a moment. I prepared the breakfast casserole my mom makes every Christmas morning yesterday before we left; I just need to put it in the oven and let it bake while we open our gifts. I was nervous about what I got him and excited at the same time. Declan took my hint and went about starting a fire and turning on some music.

Sitting in front of the tree that has way too many presents under it, I was suddenly worried that he didn't keep to our two-hundred-and-fifty-dollar maximum. "Scout's honor, I only spent what we agreed on."

He did it again. It reminded me of just how connected we are to each other. "You were never a scout, Declan Kieran Hayes." He sat with his legs crossed on the floor in front of our tree wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants and a white undershirt. It took everything in me not to push him back and have my naughty way with him at the base of the tree.

"True, I wasn't a scout, Emily Grace Barnes, but a promise is a promise." It reminded me of the card he sent me with the apple blossoms after our first date, "To the promise of more to come". It seemed like yesterday and like a lifetime ago all at once. That first dinner at Swayed was exactly one month ago today. I'd experienced more in the last month than I ever imagined possible, things I never knew I wanted. He pulled me down to sit right in front of him. He licked his lips as he took me in. Who knew Christmas trees were such a turn on? He actually shook his head back and forth as if he was trying to clear some image out of his head. "You go first since I already opened one from you last night." He handed me a small box that was beautifully wrapped. I shook it, but it didn't make any noise.

Hidden under a layer of tissue paper was a business card. The card was for Nathan Bristol, the owner of Bristol Books. They were huge. It confused me. Declan took it out of my hand and flipped it over. On the backside of the card was a message. "Please contact me next week for an appointment. I would love the opportunity to publish you." _What the hell? Two fifty my ass._

Declan grasped both of my wrists before I was able to get up. "Simmer down, Lemon Drop. I didn't do anything. Do you remember Monica, my assistant? Her husband is Nate," he quickly explained. "She kept telling him all about you, and I gave her one of the cookie tins we made together as a gift. Well, she took it home, and Nate went crazy. He wants to start with a cookie cookbook. She's still pissed at him for eating all of her biscuits. God, I hope you're not as crazed when you're pregnant." _What? Did he just say that? Holy fuck!_ I don't know what's more shocking, that fact that I'm going to have my own cookbook or that Declan mentioned something about me being pregnant again.

_Ding_.

Talk about saved by the bell. "Breakfast is ready." I didn't know it was possible to get up that fast. Declan followed me to the kitchen.

"Are you okay?" _OK? Hell no I wasn't OK._

"It's just a lot to take in. A month ago I was practically homeless. Why the heck does Monica even work for you if her husband owns Bristol?" I couldn't look at him. I focused on taking our breakfast out of the oven and serving our plates.

"Wouldn't you still work if you were married to me?" _Son-of-a-bitch!_

"Ouch!" I said as I shook my hand because I burnt my finger on the edge of the hot pan. Declan raced towards me, and pulled me over to the sink and turned on the cool water.

"Keep it under the water. I'll be right back with some ointment." He kissed me on the temple. _Marriage? Babies? In truth, hadn't I been thinking of the same things? Hadn't I hoped he felt the same way? Yeah, apparently I wasn't the only one. I'm sure his parents would love this_.

It turned out that my finger wasn't that bad. I almost forgot about it once Declan kissed it to make it all better. We ate our breakfast in silence. That, of course, had me worried that he had realized what he said. Maybe he hadn't meant anything at all. "Let's finish opening presents," I said to fill the silence.

"Here." I handed him his stocking. It was then that I realized this was the first year my mom hadn't sent me mine, and it made me sad. I know I'm an adult, but I still need my mom, and that reminded me that Declan had never really even had his parents at all.

"Is this one of the stockings from The Bowery?" I nodded my head, and he pulled me onto his lap. "I love it. This is the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me." Tears filled my eyes because once again it made me upset that he never had anything like this before. The stockings were simple red felt with a band of white at the top. I had Declan's name embroidered in the white and adorned the stocking with things that represented him that I found at the craft store. A soccer ball, a bottle of wine, an Irish flag, a camera, and a muffin. "This one here is my favorite," he said as he rubbed his finger over the top of the muffin that was plastic and about the size of a quarter. "It's the best part of me." My heart skipped a beat.

"Wait 'til you see what's inside," I offered because my emotions were getting the best of me. Filling his stocking was a lot of fun, I included a Pez and an ornament-shaped Coke bottle because they were always in mine, but the rest of the stuff I had never heard of before.

"Where on Earth did you find all this?" he asked as he pulled out all of his Irish treats. "Tayto crisps and Tooty Frooties. These are my favorite; my Granda used to sneak me these. What the hell is this?"

I couldn't help but giggle as he held up the horned melon that was in the bottom of the stocking. "I told you we always got a piece of exotic fruit every year. It's horny just like you."

"Speaking of horny, you need to open your next present." He lifted me off his lap and placed me back down before he retrieved a massive gift. "Don't freak out on me when you open this. I got it for free." Was he just saying that to make me feel better? I ripped the paper skeptically.

"How the hell did you get this for free, and how is this horny?" Under the paper was a beautiful piece of luggage. A very expensive piece of luggage that matched the overnight bag he had given me before.

"Marketing 101, the press is always hanging around the airport, and when they see you with this bag, the sales will go through the roof." He did say that he wanted to take me to Ireland.

"Wrong. If I'm with you at the airport with this bag sales will go through the roof. I don't think I like this Declan. I can't compete with this. It's not fair."

"I'm sorry, Lemon Drop. It's not a competition. What you've already given me is worth so much more." His placed his hands on the sides of my face and kissed me tenderly before resting his forehead on mine. "You better not be at the airport with anyone, but me and the horny is inside."

"Please tell me you didn't get the horny for free."

"Nope. And it was worth every bit of my two hundred and fifty bucks." What on Earth had he spent all of his budget on? I wearily opened the suitcase. Inside were at least thirty thong panties in every color you could imagine, and he went to Victoria's Secret instead of getting me two pairs from the other place that he would probably just rip off me anyway. "Nothing says I love you like lace." _Boy, he must really love me then. Wow! Maybe I should just say it. Get it over with. Shit, that's no reason to say I love you for the first time. Now is not the time._

"I have one more present for you." I really hoped I made the right decision. It felt like the right thing to me. I hoped Declan agreed as I handed him the flat gift. I borrowed his camera one day while he was at work. It was incredible how many moments he captured in the last month. I was so glad he was taking pictures of people again, not that his architectural stuff wasn't beautiful, because it was, but I loved to see how he saw people. I didn't frame them because I wanted it to be his decision, but I did have them printed in the same size as the black and whites that currently hung on the wall. These ones were full of color and life. I didn't want Declan to feel like he was missing anything in his life anymore.

He went silent when he saw them, and I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing when he got up and walked straight to the existing pictures and took them off the wall. _I'm confused. Is he upset?_ "Declan?" He doesn't answer. After placing the frames and the new photos on the table he powerfully strode to the kitchen and quickly returned with a butter knife in his hand. He flipped over the photo of the man and the young boy with the model boat and loosened the back of the frame with the knife. He took it out and replaced it with a picture from the parade. It's of Matt, Gabe, Nat, and me. We looked ridiculous in our jumpsuits with noses that were red from the cold, but more than that we looked like we were having the time of our lives, because we were. He then replaced the picture of the woman putting the child on the back of carousel horse with a picture that he took when we were volunteering at The Bowery. We had hours of stocking stuffing to do, but everyone was singing carols terribly off-key—you could feel the joy in the room, and he had captured it on our faces. Declan hadn't taken the last photo, it was one of the few on his camera with both of us in it, and I absolutely loved it. I was sitting on Declan's lap, and we had just come down the giant inflatable slide together. We were both laughing. Honestly, we were both drunk, but it didn't matter because he wasn't alone. They were _our_ memories, ones _we_ made together, and as he hung them back up on the wall, I knew more than anything that I wanted a lifetime of memories with Declan Hayes. I'm not sure how long we stood in front of that wall. He was standing behind me with his arms wrapped around me. Neither one of us said anything. The pictures said a thousand words.

"Wait here. I have one more gift for you."

"You spent your allowance," I reminded him as he went back to the tree.

"This is something I already had so it didn't cost me anything." He returned to me carrying a small gift bag.

"But you've already given me panties, that's pretty hard to top," I teased in an attempt not to get emotional as I pulled out a black velvet box from the bag. He took the box from me and opened it.

"It belonged to my Nana Hayes, and I want you to have it." He held it up so that I could see it before he took it out of the box. It looked like two hands clasping a heart with a crown on the top. "It's a Claddagh." He slipped it on my right hand with the heart facing toward my body. "You've captured my heart, Emily Barnes. Please don't ever give it back." Unfortunately, we were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Who could that be?" I asked because it was still pretty early in the morning.

"Reinforcements," Declan said with a smile as he took me to the door.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" I could hardly believe that my mother was standing on our doorstep.

 "Do you want me to go?"

 "Of course not," I said as I pulled her into my arms. "That's not what I meant, and you know it." My mother lived a simple life without a lot of thrills. She was a stay-at-home mom until the divorce, and now she worked as an office assistant. I worried about her, especially since I was so far away from her. I kept telling her she should move to New York, but she wouldn't. California was her home. Part of me wondered if her excuse had something to do with my father. They do say that home is where the heart is, and I don't know why, but she still loves him. I think she always will.

 "I couldn't very well say no when a ticket arrived, but I'm just here for today since I just got back from that amazing cruise." She gave Declan a smile. I knew it was her way of saying thank you again for the trip. My attention returned to Declan for another reason, and he knew it.

With his hands up in surrender he said, "I have a lot of frequent flyer miles, so it didn't cost me anything. A deal's a deal." I was too happy to be upset with him. My mom was with me for Christmas.

"Well, you probably used them up with sending me to Nashville as well. Are you sure I can't give you some money for the ticket?" _Holy shit, Mom gets to see Libby too_. I couldn't contain myself as I launched myself into his arms and began kissing him all over.

"Best present ever," Mom said with a sigh. I'm glad she said something because usually when we start kissing like that it quickly changed into something more. I couldn't help but smile when I pulled away and noticed that Declan had to adjust his pants. Yeah, great minds think alike. I'd be thanking him properly later. I had a sneaky suspicion that Mom wasn't talking about the trip as the "best present ever", but what she saw between Declan and I. For as long as I could remember, my mom had told us that her greatest wish in life was for both of her girls to be happy and healthy. I couldn't speak for my sister, but for me her wish had come true.

I was completely embarrassed when I realized that she was still standing at the door. "What was I thinking? Come in, come in. Do you want some juice or coffee? Are you hungry? I made your casserole." Declan helped my mother out of her coat and pulled in a small suitcase from the hall.

 "I'm fine. Let's sit down; I have presents for you both." I loved the fact that she included me fella. I knew for a fact that Mom had never bought Christmas gifts for any of Libby's boyfriends. None of them had ever sent her on a cruise or bought her plane tickets, but still.

 "You being here is a gift. You look great, Mom." She got some color, and her eyes were sparkling. I hadn't seen her look that happy in a long time. I'd missed that look on her face. I guess my wish for her was the same—I just wanted her happy and healthy too.

"Nonsense. Bring me my bag, dear," she told Declan as she and I took a seat on the couch. As we sat, she raised my hand to examine my ring. I knew she knew what the ring was. "Maggie sure knows how to pick them," she said with a nod toward my sexy Irishman. _Yes, she does_. "Maybe she can find one for your sister." Now that would be another dream come true.

Declan joined us with her bag, and as he took a seat next to me, I was overwhelmed that she was there with us. "I can't believe you're here. I missed getting my stocking from you this morning, but this is so much better."

 "Did you really think that I wouldn't send it?" She flipped the lid of her case and inside was my overstuffed stocking, the one that I'd had for as long as I could remember. Our grandmother made them for us, and like the one I fashioned for Declan, it was adorned with little things that represented me. It was funny that although I'm no longer a young girl, the symbols still represented who I was today: a pair of red lips, a glass slipper, a rolling pin, a slice of pizza, and the Statue of Liberty.

Declan clearly noticed the resemblance because he pulled me closer and told me, "They'll look good hanging next to each other." Then he kissed me on the cheek, and I swore I saw my mom wipe a tear away from her eye. As usual, my stocking was filled with all the things I had come to expect it to, including a banana.

"Sorry, but I wasn't sure if I could bring fruit from California, so I had to grab what they had at the airport."

"At least I know how to eat this one." All three of us laughed, and I knew Declan was agreeing because he held up his horned fruit with raised brows that caused us all to laugh again.

 "Here, Declan." Mom handed him a gift bag. "Merry Christmas, and thank you for making both me and my daughter so happy." Now it was my turn to fight back tears.

 He pulled a large leather pouch out of the bag, opened it up, and begins pulling items out of it. It was very thoughtful gift, and I could tell by the look on Declan's face that he appreciated the contents of the shaving kit. "Thank you, Mrs. Barnes."

 "Oh, that will never do. You can call me Mom." It should have freaked me the hell out—we had only been dating for a month—but it was about more than that. This was about Declan and my mother, who had just done something his own mother had never done; she made him feel loved and wanted. I didn't know who I wanted to kiss more at that very moment. My mother, being the brilliant woman that she was, picked up on the emotion that was bubbling over and broke the tension by telling me, "It's not pink so don't you dare use it to shave your legs." _God, how I loved this woman._

 I'm not sure if it's nerves or intuition, but Declan left my mother and me alone to work on the dinner in the kitchen. I'd missed doing this with her. He was right when he said that he was bringing in reinforcements. My mother probably knows more about Abigail and Kian than I know, or will ever want to know. Maggie and her are best friends, and let's face it, the housekeeper knows everything. I didn't have a good feeling about dinner. "Calm down, you're making me nervous." I'd probably looked at the clock twenty times in the last thirty minutes. They would arrive at any moment. _I'm as ready as I will ever be_. I'd noticed Declan made several trips to the bar, and he wasn't not drinking wine. I was tempted to join him, but I tended to get loose lips when I drank, and tonight I needed to keep my wits about me. I didn't know why what they thought of me mattered so much, but it did.

I'd checked the table setting again, and everything else was as ready as it could be in the kitchen. I felt like a caged animal. I just hoped I didn't attack like one. "Relax. Dinner will be delicious and you, my darling daughter, are a bright, beautiful, and amazing woman who makes their son happy. That's more than they deserve." Her tone was notably cold when she referred to our guests who had just knocked on the door. Declan stopped to kiss my cheek before answering. I wasn't sure if it was for him or me.

"Mother, father," Declan greeted his parents as my mother and I watched from the kitchen. His father shook his hand and his mother air-kissed him on both cheeks. I come from a family of huggers and kissers. In my entire life, I'd never seen anything so awkward. I was glad Mom was there because let's face it, so far my interactions with Abigail and Kian had been far from good. "Let me take your coats." They didn't have any gifts with them. Not that I expected anything from them for myself, but they only had one child, and no other family from what Declan had told me. _What assholes!_

"It's nice to see you again, Mr. Hayes. Welcome," I said with a fake smile. I could see where Declan got his good looks. His father was a striking man; they had the same tall, muscular frame and hair. "This is my mother, Cheryl Barnes." I was actually grateful when he offered his hand to her.

"It's nice to meet you. Maggie speaks very highly of you." Charming. Maybe Mr. Hayes isn't so bad.

"Well Maggie should spend less time talking and more time working," Abigail inserted snidely. "Is it too much to ask for a drink?" That was when I noticed Declan take a large swallow of whatever he had in his tumbler.

While Declan poured wine for the rest of us, I served the appetizers. "This looks amazing, Lemon Drop."

"How domestic." Declan emptied his drink and got up to pour himself another. "Lemon Drop, that's the most ridiculous pet name I've ever heard." I could see him physically tense, but he said nothing and just took another swig from his fresh drink.

"I think it's adorable," my mother offered in defense of Abigail's comments. "Your son was just saying how much he enjoys Emily's cooking. Cooking with love is food for the soul." _I'm not sure the bitch has one._

It seemed that she had her own agenda. "What happened to your old photos? Those are so garish." I put my wine glass down so hard that I was surprised it didn't break. Declan's only response was to take another swig of his drink. I wish I had known we were playing a drinking game. "I ran into Julia Campbell the other day at the club. Have you seen or talked to her lately? She was such a great girl for you. I told her that she should really call you."

_Oh my God, the fucking nerve of this woman._ "Mother," Declan finally warned while I excused myself to the kitchen to try to compose myself, but with the open floor plan of the apartment, it was difficult to have a moment to myself. Thanks to the help of my mom, everything was ready. Mom joined me in the kitchen.

"Does New York have the death penalty?" she asked so that only I can hear. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You'd have to go to the end of a very long line, but thanks, Mom. Weren't you the one that taught us to kill others with kindness?"

"I think that only works with people with a heart."

 "Oh she has one, it's just frozen." I plastered a smile on my face and announced, "Dinner is served."

 "This looks delicious, but I can't wait for tomorrow." Declan was slurring his words slightly, but I can't say that I blamed him. Although I'd miss my mom, I couldn't wait for tomorrow either, because that meant this dinner would be over. The Irish celebrate Saint Stephen's Day on December 26th, so we'd invited our friends over for leftovers, and to watch the horse races.

We ate in relative silence. The tension in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Declan pushed his plate away. "I'm stuffed. That was delicious. I'm so glad you made it here to celebrate today with us, Mom."

Two things happened at once. My mom smiled brightly, and Abigail Hayes pushed away from the table, stood up, and tossed her napkin down. "Mom? Really, this is ridiculous. Let's go. I've had enough of this." Kian stood to follow his wife's order.

"That's right, Da, fuck!" Declan was furious. He stood, and his chair fell behind him. "All my life I've waited for you to stand up to her. To stand up for me, but no, all you've ever done is send me away or do as she says. How dare you come into my home and treat Emily like crap? And in one day Cheryl has given me more of a mother's love than you have in my entire life." _Oh shit!_

"She's not good enough for you!" Abigail screamed as Kian stood between her and Declan. "I've given everything to you. You are just like your father, you ungrateful little bastard." Mom and I both gasped in unison.

 "That's enough Abigail!" The hurt and anger in Kian's voice was evident. "Let's go!" he said as he forced his wife toward the door. Did that really just happen? I'd always heard all these horror stories of family holidays, but I'd never experienced anything like that in my life before.

"Declan?" I needed to know that he was ok, but how could he be after what just happened? He shook his head and poured himself another drink.

"She's gone. Let's get you to bed." After Mom and I had cleaned up, I took her downstairs to show her the bakery. Declan decided the bottle of whiskey he was drinking would be better company. It was probably better that way.

Me fella was now three sheets to the wind. The apartment seemed so much larger while I was trying to get him to the bedroom. "I'm so sorry, Lemon Drop," he said as he stumbled. Thankfully, he landed on the bed. Without any help from him, I took off his shoes and belt and then rolled him so that he was on his side in case he vomited. "You are toooooooo good for me," he said as he pushed my hair behind my ear with a smile. "Is breá liom tú," is the last thing he said before he passed out.

  _Holy shit, Declan just told me that he loves me_. I knew because I'd been learning how to say those words to him in Gaelic. _He loves me_. Maybe today wasn't so bad after all. "I love you too, babe." It felt so good to finally say the words out loud, even if he didn't hear them. 

#

Strong arms surrounded me from behind by surprise, causing me to jump and him to laugh. "Sorry, Lemon Drop, I didn't mean to scare you." He moved my hair aside and began to kiss my neck. It felt so amazing that I briefly stopped what I was doing to delight in sheer bliss before I realized that I was already running behind and had a ton of shit to do today. We overslept a bit after last night's rehearsal dinner for the wedding. It was nice to see everyone welcome Declan even though he wasn't a member of the bridal party. I'm sure he would have been included had we met sooner. Gwen and Ed hosted an amazing dinner at a small family-owned Italian restaurant in Little Italy they'd been going to with the Medina's since the kids were little. The owner and his wife filled the night with stories about Gabe, Matt, and their brothers. We laughed so hard we cried, and we drank way too much wine. "Can I help you with anything?" he asked as he pressed his lips against my temple.

"Can you help put these in the boxes?" I was cutting up a cake and putting small pieces in gift boxes for guests to take home from the wedding tonight.

He sat on a stool across the counter from me and popped one of the pieces into his mount. "Fruitcake?"

"Yeah, it was Nat's grandmother's recipe."

"So why are you cutting up a perfectly good cake?" Apparently Declan liked the cake that had a reputation for only being good as a paper weight because he popped another piece in his mouth before I could answer.

"It's just one of those silly wedding traditions," I tried to play it off because I didn't want him to know that I was actually looking forward to participating. He urged me with his eyes to continue. "It is said that if you put it under your pillow you will dream of the man you are going to marry." Your one true love. Declan had yet to repeat those three little words he had told me right before he passed out on Christmas day, and I'd been too chicken to say them to him. I turned away as he began stuffing boxes, but I swore I heard him mutter something about me dreaming of him. His phone began to ring. It wasn't his normal ringtone, so I knew it belonged to someone specific.

"Aye," he answered curtly which told me two things. One, he wasn't happy to hear from whoever it was, and two, they were probably Irish. "This is he." He listened to the person on the other end of the line as he got up and began pacing the apartment. His tone had changed from that of being bothered to that of being concerned, and his body language was a clear indication that something was very wrong. "Where?" he asked after a long pause. "Yes." He nodded even though the person on the phone couldn't see him. "I will be there as soon as I can. Thank you."

 "What's wrong?" I asked as I made my way towards him. He pulled me into him arms.

 "Ma and Da were in a car accident. I need to go to the hospital." He kissed the top of my head. "I'll have to meet you later." I had never heard him call his mother "Ma" before, and I knew that although he is a man, he is still just a little boy in his heart who just wants to be loved by his parents.

I pushed away so that I could look at him. "I'll go with you." The words rushed out of my mouth without any hesitation. I didn't even think about it. It wasn't about his parents; it was about Declan. About me being by his side where I belong.

He tenderly kissed my forehead, then my nose, then my lips. "No, Lemon Drop, I can't ask you to...."

 "You didn't ask."

"And I love you for that." That was a four letter word I could get used to hearing him say. "Nat and Gabe need you today. I don't even know how serious they are injured." I wasn't so sure that I believed him about that. "You can take my tux, and I'll meet you wherever you are as soon as I know anything. My mother knows that your best friends are getting married today. I wouldn't put it past her to make this entire thing up to try and ruin this day for you." That was true; Mom and I were talking about the wedding plans at Christmas. According to Declan, his mother had been trying to reach him all week. She even showed up at the office several times to try to speak with him. He had managed to avoid her thus far. Kian had also reached out to him; according to Declan, he was still defending Abigail.

"I wouldn't put anything past her. Can you imagine her reaction if I were to catch the garter, and you were to snag the bouquet?" His smile didn't reach his eyes. I wasn't sure what that meant. "You have a lot to do today. I promise; I'll be along as quick as I can." He kissed me one last time before disappearing into our room to gather his things before he left for the hospital.

 "I didn't tell him that I loved him when he left." I regretted it the second the door closed. I'd had it all planned out. Of course, I knew I would change my plans instantly if he looked into my eyes and just said "I love you", but he hadn't. The first time he was drunk and earlier he had said that he loved something _about_ me, so the plan for me to tell him on New Year's Eve after our first kiss at the stroke of midnight with fireworks lighting up the sky was still my plan. In theory, it was a good plan, but he was at the hospital with his parents, and I was not. I was desperate for him to know.

"He knows, M, everyone knows." How ironic that Nat, who should be the nervous bride, said that in an effort to calm me.

"So don't say it to Gabe tonight because everyone knows." I am a terrible friend. I regretted it the moment I said it. I covered my mouth and shook my head.

"You're lucky it's my wedding day, or I'd kick your ass."

 "I'm such a bitch. I'm sorry, Nat. You know I didn't mean that."

 "Stop. I know you didn't mean it. He's still not answering?" I had given up on calling him when it kept going straight to voicemail because I didn't have my charger, and I didn't want my phone to die. She didn't wait for my answer. "He probably had to turn it off in the hospital. You know how they are. I'm sure he'll be here soon."

 "Thanks." Natalie was sitting in front of the mirror making a few adjustments to her makeup. Her hair was done in soft curls, and her dress was stunning on her. "Gabe is so lucky to have you. I'm so happy for you." It was time for me to put on my big girl panties and be there for my best friend on her special day.

 "Don't make me cry," she said as she fanned her face to prevent her tears from falling.

Two hours later, I scanned the room full of people for Declan. I didn't see him anywhere in the crowd, but the moment I saw Gabe watching his bride walk down the aisle toward him I put on a smile. Yes, they had decided to ditch tradition and see each other for pictures before the wedding, but he still looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time. I don't know that you can describe what joy looks like, but as clear as it was to everyone that I love Declan, it was clear to see that Gabe was filled with complete and utter joy.

Natalie had everything planned down to the second for the reception, because she wanted everyone on the roof at midnight for the fireworks, which was a good thing because I didn't have a lot of time to worry or think about my missing fella once the I dos were said.

"Gabe warned me not to mess this up," Matty said as he ended his toast that had us all laughing and crying. Gabe gave him a thumbs up. Before he handed the microphone to me he searched out his date for the evening. "I hope—" Nat and I both giggled because we knew exactly who he was talking to "—one day I get to give him the same words of advice at my wedding. To Nat and Gabe." We all lifted our glasses, and then I took my turn.

"You are a tough act to follow, Matt Medina. As most of you know, I'm a baker. With that said, I think Nat and Gabe have found the recipe for a perfect marriage; romance, humor, joy, trust, respect, tenderness, friendship, and patience. Just remember that it's not always about the ingredients, it's about the way you mix them together. I love you both. Here's to a sweet life, Nat, and Gabe."

 Nat and Gabe had already cut the cake and fed one another. They were surprisingly tame. No cakes were harmed at their wedding. "You hardly touched your food, and I refuse to be one of those brides that says she never even tasted her wedding cake." Nat sat down beside me with a huge slice of wedding cake and handed me a fork. It was almost time to go up to the roof. The food was great, the drinks were flowing, and everyone was having a great time, ready to ring in the New Year. Everyone but me that is.

I took a bite of cake. It really was delicious. "I'm sorry, Nat. I don't mean to be such a Debbie Downer at your wedding.

She didn't respond to my comment. "You've got it too, you know."

 "Got what?"

 "A winning recipe. Total blue ribbon," she said around a bite of cake. "You've done your duty. Go find your guy and tell him already."

 "Are you sure?" The last thing I wanted to do was to flake on her at her wedding.

"Ab-so-fucking-lutely." That was good enough for me.

Traffic in New York City on New Year's Eve was a real bitch! I didn't even know what hospital to go to, and I was wearing a bridesmaid gown, so I decided to go to the apartment to change and to make some phone calls. Maybe Declan would go to the apartment too since the reception was now over. When I opened the door and turned on the lights, I was devastated by what I saw. Every one of the Christmas decorations had been removed from the apartment, and every available surface was covered in flowers—small blue flowers with yellow centers. I fell to my knees as I drowned in a sea of Forget-Me-Nots. This was a mistake. It had to be a mistake. I don't know how long I stayed frozen in that spot weeping until I finally saw the envelope with my name written on the outside in his beautiful script. My hands trembled as I opened it. The letters were smudged from tears, both mine and his.

_  
_

_My Lovely Lemon Drop –_

_You once told me to write my own story, or better yet to capture it in my photos, but I don't even know who I am anymore. Today at the hospital I found out that Abigail Hayes is not my biological mother. I feel like everything I ever knew about myself was a lie. I need to know who I am, and not just for me but for you too. This is for our future. I know what you are thinking right now, and I want you to stop, I'm not your father. I know I should have told you this sooner but, I love you. Somehow the words just never seemed like enough. Those three little words aren't big enough to tell you how I feel about you. I've tried to show you, tried to make you feel it. I think that you have. I hope with everything that I am that you have. More than anything I wish I could do this with you by my side, but I know that I can't. I'm asking you to trust me even though you probably feel like I have betrayed your trust by leaving. I believe in us and am doing everything I can to figure this out so that I can come back to you. I can't be the man that you need me to be until I know who that is. I' promise you that I am coming back for you, please don't doubt that for a second. Please don't hate me for leaving. I don't know how or when, but I will return. My heart will always bring me back to you. You are my home. You are my everything._

_Faith, Hope, Trust, and Love_

_We have all of this, please never forget. I love you more than I ever thought was possible. You have given me the greatest gift in my life and it is only because of your love that I have the strength to leave you now. I have faith that you will be here when I return. I hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I trust that you will still love me when I figure out who I truly am. Love, well I love the way you loved the unlovable me and I promise to be worthy of that love when I come back to you._

_A Chori,_

_Declan_

#

# Declan

When you grow up privileged, it's hard to know what's real. Until I met Emily Barnes, I used to believe that everything in my life was fake. Now I know that wasn't exactly true. I did have people who really did care about me; it was just hard for me to see. I think that's because I never saw it from the two people who should have always made it abundantly clear to me: my mother and my father. Last night was the wedding rehearsal and dinner for Nat and Gabe, and I didn't feel like Emily's date, I felt like part of the family. They are loud, maybe even crass, but the love they feel, the love they share, without expecting anything in return is like nothing I've ever experienced before. I'm so grateful for the wonderful woman who was indecently dancing around my parents' kitchen for making me a part of it. She's not only real, but my dream come true at the same time.

I watched her for several minutes before I couldn't resist her any longer. She was standing at the kitchen counter cutting something, and she was only wearing my dress shirt from last night. In the past, this was something I detested in women I slept with. It was like they wanted to prove that they had a piece of me by wearing my shirt; with Emily I want her to have every piece of me. If she wore nothing but my shirts for the rest of our lives, I'd be a very happy man. She jumped when I put my arms around her but immediately relaxed into my arms. She tilted her head to the side when I moved her gorgeous auburn locks so that I could kiss her neck. If we weren't already running late, I would have taken her right then and there. "Can I help with anything?" I asked after placing one last kiss on her temple before prying myself away from her. I sat on a barstool across from her and snatched up a piece of the cake she was cutting into small pieces and popped it into my mouth. She asked me to put the pieces in the small white boxes that were also on the counter. "Fruitcake?" I asked after swallowing the spiced cake that was full of nuts and fruit.

"Yeah, it was Nat's grandmother's recipe." I asked her why she was cutting it up before I put another piece in my mouth. She explained that it was a wedding tradition to put a piece under your pillow and that you would dream of the man that you were going to marry. More than anything I wanted to be that man. The image of Emily in a beautiful white dress walking toward me was rudely interrupted.

"Aye," I answered harshly when my phone rang and displayed a call from my father.

"Declan Hayes?" a voice that I did not recognize asked.

"This is he," I said as I stood up from the stool. Why was a woman I didn't know calling me from his phone?

"I'm sorry to bother you sir, but you were listed as an ICE contact on a cell phone that was found at the scene of an accident." She was calling from my father's phone, so that had to mean that he was involved. "Did you hear me, Mr. Hayes?" the caller asked.

"Where?" was the only thing I could think to ask. She told me that a man and woman, who I assumed was my mother, had been rushed to Lennox Hill after being involved in a serious car accident. She also explained that she was unable to tell me the nature of their injuries over the phone. "I will be there as soon as I can. Thank you." Lemon Drop was instantly by my side with a concerned look on her face asking me what was wrong. I was overwhelmed with the urge to hold her, so I pulled her into my arms and thanked God that it wasn't her that was hurt.

"Ma and Da were in a car accident. I need to go to the hospital." I hadn't called them those names in years; they didn't deserve the term of endearment. I kissed the top of her head, but then she pulled away from me so that she could look into my eyes. She wanted me to not only hear her words but to see and feel the truth in them. "I'll go with you." It made me love her even more. My parents had been awful to her, but she was still willing to come to the hospital. This amazing woman would stand by my side despite my parents. I kissed her forehead before trailing my lips down her nose and placed a kiss on the tip, and then I kissed her chastely on the lips.

"No, Lemon Drop. I can't ask you to...." She cut me off before I could finish.

"You didn't ask." I wouldn't tarnish this day for her or her friends because of my parents.

"And I love you for that." I loved her for so many reasons. I was a fool for not just saying those three little words. I. Love. You. People say it all the time, but Emily isn't just anyone, I need her to know that I mean it with all of my heart, and I plan to tell her tonight. Our love is like a firework, the sky is dark, and then BAM, it explodes, it lights up the sky, and it is beautiful. Emily brought light to my darkness. She is beautiful inside and out, and I want her to light up my life for as long as she'll have me. I assure her that I will meet her at the wedding and tell her that this is probably just a trick by my mother to try and ruin a day that is important to her. To us. My mother always encouraged me to go to weddings before, she said they were a perfect place to meet someone who was ready to get married. Of course, they were all weddings where I would be surrounded by women that were a "suitable match". If only she knew what I was planning for tonight. This would certainly be a wedding she would do anything to keep me from. I kissed my lass one last time before packing my tux for her to take with her.

"My parents were brought here by ambulance," I told the woman sitting behind the glass at the front desk at the hospital.

"Name?" she asked as she began to type.

"Hayes. Kian and Abigail."

"Yes. It looks like your father is still being treated in emergency and that your mother is up in surgery."

"Thank you," I said as I quickly left, following the arrows that would lead me to the emergency room. "Kian Hayes," I said as I pressed the button on the doors that would lead me to my father. This is why I hate hospitals; first a woman behind glass, who barely looked away from her computer screen and now a faceless voice behind locked doors. "I'm his son," I added before she could ask my relation to the patient.

The door buzzed as she instructed me to follow the yellow line on the floor to the end of the hall to bay number eleven. I could hear my father complaining before I saw him. A sense of relief coursed through me as I pulled back the curtain. If he was complaining, he was going to be all right. A man in scrubs was tending to a nasty gash on his head. I immediately thought of my mother; if she were here, I knew she would insist that the doctor stitching up my father's forehead was the best plastic surgeon in the city. God forbid he be scarred for life. That would never do for Abigail Hayes. "Declan?" He seemed surprised to see me. "I'm sorry to drag you down here."

"Father," was my only response.

"That will do it," the doctor said as he removed his gloves. "We're going to get you moved up to a room for observation, Mr. Hayes."

"Thank you. What about my wife?" he asked with a pained expression. It was the same look he always had whenever he spoke about my mother. I never could understand why they were still together after all these years. It certainly wasn't for me. It never had been.

"I'll see what I can find out." Once we were alone, I sat in the rolling stool at the end of his bed.

"What happened?"

"Does it matter?" I should have been prepared for his curt response since I'd been avoiding them both since Christmas. All of my life, I had longed to be close to this man. Every time we seemed to take a step in that direction he pulled further away from me. My mother had always seemed to resent me, but I'd seen and felt glimmers of something from my father. A longing of some kind. Maybe it was love. I don't know. It was like he was afraid to care about me. I gave up trying to understand my parents a long time ago. Emily kept reminding me that it does matter. We sat in silence as we waited for news on my mother and a room for my father.

They moved my father to his room relatively quickly. I'm sure our last name and the donations they made every year to the hospital had something to do with the speed at which he was moved to a private room. I left him so that he could get some sleep. I exited the elevator on the surgical floor.

"Can I help you?" an older woman in pink scrubs asked.

"I wanted to check on my mother, Abigail Hayes." She entered something in the computer and then gave me a sad look.

"She's still in surgery." The doctor had told us that she was in critical condition when he came back to give us an update. "Would you be willing to donate blood?"

I didn't hesitate. "Of course." It was the least I could do, and the one thing my mother had taught me in life was to be generous with my donations. She was always raising money for some cause. On paper, my mother looked like a saint. Too bad she was never as generous with her heart as she was with my father's money.

"Great. You'll need to go back down to the laboratory on the first floor." I thought of nothing but Emily on my way down. "They are your parents," she had reminded me. "They may not be good parents, but they are the only ones you have." I was tempted to call her. I knew she would be by my side instantly without me even asking. Just knowing that eased my mind. She would do anything for me, give me anything, and without question I would do the same for her. Who knew that your life could change so much, in so little time?

I gave my information and rolled up my sleeve. "Is this your first time?"

"Yes. My mother is up in surgery. I'm hoping that I'm a match."

"Yes, they called down. She O positive, which is very common. But all donations are needed. What is your father's blood type?" I think she just kept talking to divert my attention to what she was doing to my arm.

"They told us down in the E.R. that he's B positive."

"All done. Drink this while we confirm your type," she said as she sat me up farther and gave me a juice box to drink.

"Interesting," the nurse said when she returned.

"What is?" I asked as she continued to look at something on her clipboard.

"Well, you came up as AB negative. Which is uncommon enough, but..."

"But what?" I asked as she looked at me with regret in her eyes. I was starting to get irritated with the lack of straightforward information I was being given. Just add it to another reason to dislike hospitals. "For god's sake, just spit it out," I demanded.

"Is it possible you're adopted?" It was a good thing that I was already lying down because I suddenly felt faint. Adopted? I couldn't be. Everyone always says that I looked just like my father, the only difference was my eyes are green, and his are blue. My maimeo always told me that my eyes were magical and reminded her of Ireland. Then again she also said they reminded her of my mother, which always confused me because my mother had brown eyes, or at least I always thought she did.

"I need to go," I said as I tried to get up. My legs were still shaky. I'm still not sure if it was from the news I just received or because I had just given blood. I returned to my father's room. He was asleep. I sank into the uncomfortable chair and tried to process the fact that I had been deceived by my parents my entire life. Was anything they told me true? A nurse came in to check on my father, or should I say, Kian Hayes. He grumbled about not being able to get any sleep in this place. I stood once we were alone and began to pace the room.

"Sit down, son. You're acting like a nutter." He was right because I was about to go crazy on him.

"Son? Is that what I am? Tell me, Da, who am I really?"

"What's this nonsense about, Declan?"

"It's not nonsense, Da. It's genetics. You see, while you weren't getting any sleep I was donating blood for Ma. The only problem with that is my Ma isn't in this hospital, Da. Is she?" I watched as the numbers on the monitor that they had on him skyrocketed. "Is she!"

"Declan! This isn't the time or place for this. Your m....Christ almighty! Abigail is upstairs fighting for her life. She is the only mother you have ever known. We will tell you everything but not here, not now. Please, son."

"Am I even that? Am I your biological child?" No way in hell was I waiting for answers.

"Yes, I swear you are my son. My biological son."

"And who is my mother, Da?" I was tempted to call him by his given name, but I wanted him to keep talking.

He whispered her name like it was a secret. Hell, it was a secret. "Brianna Bailey." A tear rolled down his cheek, but he didn't wipe it away. I'm not sure what emotion he was feeling more, guilt or relief. Guilt that they had lied to me my entire life or relief that now I knew the truth. Whatever it was, I didn't care.

"All my life you've looked at me with regret in your eyes and she always looked at me like she hated me. I hope you both burn in hell for this," I cursed as I bolted out of the room.

I didn't know where to go or what to do. Emily had been trying to call me and text me while I was at the hospital, but I had it on silent. I didn't know what to say, I knew without me even asking that she would be by my side, but she was where she needed to be, plus I had no idea what to even say so I deleted all of her texts and messages without listening to them. I didn't know who I was anymore. Somehow I ended up back at the apartment. I stood at the end of our bed and stared at the photo I had taken. I had started to see what Emily saw in the photo. Maybe it was us, and maybe we weren't walking away from something, but rather toward something. The only problem was that now I no longer knew who I was. How could we have a future when everything in my past was a lie?

I felt lost and alone. I didn't know what to do, so I called the hospital. Kian was going to be released, and Abigail was still in the ICU in critical condition. I sat at my computer. I typed in, "Who is Declan Hayes," and hit enter. If only it were that simple. I clicked on the Wikipedia and nearly laughed when I read my history. I scrolled down and read the business history; I had forgotten that my grandfather once had a business partner named, Conor Bailey. I clicked on the link for Conor Bailey and sure enough, under children, Brianna Bailey was listed. She was six years younger than my dad. Based on the information given, that would have made her seventeen years old when I was born. _Son-of-a-bitch!_ I guess I wasn't the only bastard in the Hayes family.

Everything I believed about who I am was a lie. How can I be the man that Emily needs me to be when I don't even know who I am really am? Apparently the fake in my life was me. With all of my heart, I knew that Emily would say that it didn't matter, that she loved me anyway. At least I hoped she did. It felt like she did. I had to believe that she did. My gut told me two things. One, I had to find out who I really was, and two, that if I saw Emily I would never have the courage to leave her side to find out who that was. I had to do this for us. I called the florist and ordered the flowers I hoped I would never have to order. I hurriedly packed away all of our Christmas decorations. The stockings were the hardest. Cheryl had left Emily's here when she left and told us that it belonged in her "home". I hoped with all of my heart that she still considered this place her home after I was gone because I was going to do everything in my power to come back to her—to be the man that she deserved. My tears soaked the paper as I wrote to her. I told her that I loved her. I asked her to believe in us, to believe in our love. Faith. Hope. Trust. Love. They had to be enough. They were all I had left.

I packed a small bag and my camera, and before I left, I took a chain from amongst her jewelry, put the ring on the chain, and put it around my neck. Right next to my broken heart is where her two-carat, platinum engagement ring would rest until the day I could place it on her finger. 
Watch out for the next installment in Emily and Declan's story

#

# Sifted

## Coming in 2016

# Acknowledgements

Thank you for reading my debut novel. I never could have written it without the love and support of a lot of amazing people.

To Danielle Wright and Jacqui Melville, I am beyond grateful that I had you two with me during this journey. You were the 1st to fall in love with Declan, even when I wasn't sure he was Declan. You loved him anyway and you let me try other names, thank you for indulging me. You were right, he was always Declan.

To Jennifer G. thank you for encouraging me to do this. Your reviews and support while I was writing Fanfiction mean more to mean then you will ever know. I never imagined when I posted that 1st one shot on Fanfiction that it would lead me to this. I was blessed to have the most amazing readers ever! For all of you who read those stories, thank you. I learned so much from all of you and grew so much as a writer. I also made friendships that will last a lifetime. I wonder if EL James has any idea what she has done for so many of us.

To Sheri for being my BFF and for teaching me the right way to clean up an egg. I'm so proud of you for making the change you needed in your life.

Rebecca, you keep me sane in our crazy world and you've always supported me and given me great material to work with. I don't know what I would do without you, and I never want to find out. You will always be my #1 book bitch!

Thank you Erin with Southern Belle for being my biggest cheerleader, I always thought that writing the book was the hard part. That just show how little I know. In a time of stress, you made things easy.

To my Controlled sisters, thank you for indulging in my strange questions and for letting me rant when needed. I feel so blessed to have you all in my life. You are an amazing group of women who I am honored to call my friends, especially Wendi and Rebecca who helped make Floured "Fabglam". You ladies are truly amazing.

And last but not least, to my family, thank you for putting up with me. I love you like crazy! 
