 
Big Lin and Little Lin

大林和小林

Zhang Tianyi

张天翼

Translated by Ralph Lake

Cover illustration by Alicia Neal

2018
Copyright © 2018 Zhang Tianyi

All rights reserved.

Translated by Ralph Lake

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Contents

About Zhang Tianyi

Big Lin and Little Lin

A Word about the translation

Chapter One: Danger

Chapter Two: The King's Laws

Chapter Three: The Auction

Chapter Four: Foot Torture

Chapter Five: The Strength of Little Lin

Chapter Six: At Uncle Zhong Mai's

Chapter Seven: Little Lin Writes Big Lin a Letter

Chapter Eight: A Beautiful Angel

Chapter Nine: The Angel brings Happiness to Mr. Baha

Chapter Ten: The Home of Baha

Chapter Eleven: The Feast

Chapter Twelve: The Imperial Elementary School

Chapter Thirteen: Two Types of Races

Chapter Fourteen: A Misfortune

Chapter Fifteen: The Train Engineer

Chapter Sixteen: The Ocean

Chapter Seventeen: "I'm so hungry!"

Chapter Eighteen: Millionaire Island

Chapter Nineteen: What of Qiaoqiao and Little Lin?

Endnotes
Zhang Tianyi

Zhang Tianyi (张天翼) was a writer of the 1930's and 1940's who specialized in children's literature. This places him in a particularly interesting period of modern Chinese literature during which Chinese were struggling with the consequences of an uneven process of modernization, the Japanese invasion (beginning in 1931) and a large scale civil war between the nationalist forces led by Chiang Kai-shek (Jiang Jieshi 蒋介石 see note about romanization) and the communists led by Mao Zedong (毛泽东). The impact that these events had on the intellectual class and on writers in particular helped shaped the China and Taiwan that evolved after 1949. China was in the throes of an existential crisis, so it is no surprise that the writers and thinkers of the period often saw themselves in the role of artists-soldiers. It is equally unsurprising that many were left-wing and that they came to believe that China's salvation lay with socialism or its more extreme revolutionary form--communism. It's a familiar story.

To understand all this better, it is necessary to go back to the conclusion of World War l when the great powers were apportioning blame for the carnage and handing out rewards to the victors. At the Paris Peace Conference held at Versailles between January and July 1919, the Chinese delegation demanded that parts of Shandong province which Germany had held since 1898 be returned to China. Instead the Western powers handed these same concessions to Japan. The result was widespread protests in China on May 4th which became the name of a movement with very far reaching consequences for nearly every facet of Chinese life. The May 4th Movement is widely regarded as the beginning of Chinese self-determination which eventuated in the creation of the People's Republic and The Republic of China as it is known on Taiwan. One of the outcomes of this resurgence in national identity was a reevaluation of traditional esthetics which had regarded the classical language as the only serious medium for artistic expression. The first salvos of this literary revolution were fired a few years earlier by Hu Shi (胡适) and Chen Duxiu (陈独秀) who were the leading proponents of what became the Vernacular Movement (Baihua yundong 白话文运动).

Born in 1906, Zhang Tianyi would have lived through these heady times and felt their influence. He joined the League of Left Wing Writers (中国左翼作家联盟) which was formed in 1930(disbanded in 1936). His stories gained the attention and the admiration of Lu Xun (鲁迅) the league's most influential member. The league's philosophy was that literature was primarily a political tool. This short period coincided with Zhang's most productive output during which he wrote _Big Lin and Little Lin_ (1932) arguably his most famous work.
Big Lin and Little Lin

Big Lin and Little Lin (大林和小林), although a work of children's literature, a genre called in Chinese _ertong wenxue_ (儿童文学), it holds considerable appeal for the adult reader. Children, of course, find the cute (though ultimately vicious) animal characters appealing and amusing. This is a world that is essentially seen through the distorting lens of childhood where adults behave in strange and sometimes frightening ways. So too, children can readily connect with the absurdities of characters who engage in endless vocal repetitions or who are completely wrapped up in their own limited and selfish worlds. Adult readers see the work as a Swiftian satire of a world dominated by capitalist exploitation and folly. In some respects it bears comparison with Orwell's Animal Farm.

It must be remembered that this is a highly didactic tale, almost a political tract. As we would expect, there are few subtleties. The accumulation of wealth is evil and the common people are honest and good without exception. In a tradition of children's literature going back to the Brother's Grimm, evil is punished with violence, a violence that most modern fiction for children avoids for better or ill. People are killed; some are even eaten alive. Psychologists tell us that children are often able to absorb such horrors so long as there exists a certain level of justice. In _Big Lin and Little Lin_ , the justice is clear and the punishments harsh. Unlike much violence that children are exposed to today, there is a refreshing absence of gore.

_Big Lin and Little Lin_ is a socialist fairy tale. Its obvious purpose is to encourage the young reader to avoid the pitfalls of selfishness and to identify with the struggles of the downtrodden. Despite its lack of subtlety in this regard, it is not without its poignant moments. Although a member of the exploiting class, Baha is clearly fond of Big Lin his adopted son as is Big Lin (renamed Jiji by Baha) of Baha. Zhang Tianyi seems to enjoy himself more in the company of his absurd "capitalists" than in the exploited characters--the children and the railway workers.
A Word about the translation

Parts of _Big Lin and Little Lin_ pose special problems for the translator. There is a lot of silly talk and doggerel verse which defy translation, at least into English. Chinese is replete with onomatopoeia, those little sound words that seek to imitate the non-linguistic orchestra that surrounds our everyday lives. When we hurt ourselves we shout "ouch" and carelessly assume that everyone responds in the same way. The English writer very often skirts the actual expression of the sounds of pain, joy or surprise whereas the Chinese writer finds their expression essential. I chose to include a number of these such as "Wei" and "Aiya" which are slowly making their way into the consciousness of Western readers.

As for the doggerel, in one instance I made up a verse that expressed the same silliness, in others I was more literal. Translation always runs into the philosophical problem of the meaning and the usefulness of the literal rendering. Behind the words there are always realities that the words are there to convey. An example might be this: If two people are fighting and a third intervenes to breakup the fight he or she might be heard to say, "Stop it" or "No fighting". In Chinese, this is often _buyao da_ (不要打) which literally means "Don't hit". Of course, the translator avoids the literal here because it's the meaning behind the words that matters. But what about Chinese names? Do you translate them? The answer is both yes and no. There are places where the translation is helpful but this is only where the Chinese reader is also conscious of both sound and meaning. Chinese characters, as most readers aware, are almost always meaningful. In some contexts, the meaning predominates while in others it is vague and in the background. English speakers all know that the surname "Robinson" means the "son of Robin" but this fact is often overlooked or ignored. In Chinese it is harder to ignore meaning in this way but not impossible.

A last point pertains to the repetition of a character in a name such as "Baobao" and "Pingping". These are, of course, endearments. They arise during childhood play and also from the structure of the language itself. Chinese is a language of compounds. Single character names, while not rare, are often found in company with other words such as "little" or "older". Nicknames are common. Writers very often adopt "pen names" and sometimes multiple ones. Also, this is story that works best when it is read aloud. There are sections too where the briskness of the dialogue is lost to the silent reader.

The modern reader will note with some misgivings that a lot is made of how fat Big Lin becomes (and how fat his adopted father Baha is). In Chinese culture, fat people are often nicknamed " _pangzi_ " (胖子). This would be the equivalent, in English, of calling someone "Fatty". In traditional Chinese culture, where the acceptance of the other was taken as more of a given, being fat carried less stigma than in more aggressive cultures. Even today, the nickname "Fatty" carries less of a sting in Asian cultures than in the West.

Zhang Tianyi continued to work and write long after his most productive period in the 1930s. His children stories remained popular after his death in 1985, though their relevance and connection with modern China has become more and more attenuated.

Edition

The edition I worked from was published in 1958 by the Chinese Youth Publishing House (中国青年出版社). (Seventh printing 1978). This edition was illustrated by the well-known illustrator Hua Junwu. (华君武). Because this edition was published during the period of language reform it contains some interesting simplified characters that have since been abandoned. I also consulted the edition published in 2006 (2008 reprint) by the Chinese Young People's Publishing House (中国少年儿童出版社) . This edition was illustrated by He Wenxin (何文新).

Romanization

As with almost all books that have China as their subject, the issue of romanization has to be addressed. Many readers are familiar with the term " _pinyin_ ". Pinyin is the system devised in China in the 1950s for representing Chinese characters. Fewer readers are likely to know of the Wade-Giles system or the Yale system both of which serve the same function and arguably as well. For better or worse, pinyin is pretty much the accepted standard. It has the advantage over Wade-Giles in that it distinguishes for the non-Chinese reader the difference between sounds such as zhang, chang, jiang and qiang which in Wade-Giles are represented as: chang, ch'ang, chiang and ch'iang a bewildering array of look-alike syllables. However, pinyin introduces additional difficulties for the English reader with its esoteric uses of z, zh, q and x. I recall that somewhere, John Updike described the system as ugly. A similar complaint can be raised against the simplified characters which are also a product of the 1950s and 60s. The only qualification I can add from long familiarity with these language reforms is that "you get used to them."

I have used the pinyin system throughout. I think it's time that these oddities disappear as pinyin is likely to endure.

Ralph Lake

Vancouver, 2017

# Chapter One

Danger

Once there was a very poor peasant who lived with his wife in the country. They were very old, so old in fact that they had no idea how old they'd become. Suddenly, one day they gave birth to two sons. The old man was beside himself with happiness.

"I have sons!" he exclaimed. "I never thought that at this age I could still have sons."

His wife was also very happy.

"We must choose very good names for them."

But what names should they choose? The old man hadn't the faintest. So, he thought he'd flip through the "Student's Dictionary" [1] and pick the first character he came to.

One, Two, Three! The first one he lighted on was "vegetable". The oldest he would call "Big Vegetable" and the second would be "Little Vegetable".

"Hmm! We don't even have enough rice to eat, let alone vegetables, " he muttered to himself.

He flipped through the pages a second time and came up with "fat" which was just as unsuitable. The old fellow spent the whole evening flipping back and forth but he couldn't find a proper name. As dawn was breaking, the old man shouldered his hoe and started out the door. Just then, as the sun fell on the trees, the old man shouted with joy: "That's it! We'll take their names from the characters for forest.[2]"

So, the names were settled. The older one would be "Big Lin" and the younger one "Little Lin."

Ten years passed, and the old man and his wife died. But before they passed away, they had a little talk with Big Lin and Little Lin.

"There's nothing here for you. You will have to go away to look for work. After we're gone, take us up onto the hilltop behind the house. The crows on the hill will come and prepare a grave for us. Afterwards, you should take the things you'll need to look for work"

Big Lin and Little Lin carried their parents' bodies up to the hill top. Just as they were going down the mountain, the crows in the trees took flight in a single swoop. Cawing as they went and bearing dirt in their beaks, they built a grave mound for the elderly couple.

"Older Brother, said Little Lin, "Let's get our things together and set out as early as we can."

So, they went home, shouldered a small bag of rice, filled a gunnysack with their torn clothing and their crude rice bowls and set out.

Big Lin asked, "Which way should we go?"

Remembering that they no longer had their mother and father and that they didn't know which road to take, they sat on the ground and began to cry.

All around them were mountains, fields and trees and all of this belonged to other people. They didn't know where they could put up for the night. What were they to do? It was growing late. The sun had hidden itself behind the mountains and had gone to sleep. The moon dragged the stars out which were winking at them.

Big Lin and Little Lin continued to cry until the sun, after a little rest, woke up and crawled up into the sky in the east and began to smile.

Little Lin wiped his eyes and said, " Are you still crying? I don't want to cry anymore."

"Okay. I'm tired of crying too. Let's go."

The two didn't know where they were going, so they just kept on moving straight ahead. Soon the little rice they had was all gone.

"We've eaten it all. Now what do we do?" asked Big Lin.

"Let's rest for a while and then look for something to eat."

So, they sat down at the base of a mountain of black earth. Big Lin looked in his gunnysack and sighed.

"In the future I want to be a rich man. Rich people eat well and dress well and they don't have to do anything."

But Little Lin disagreed.

"Baba said that a man has to work."

"That's because Baba was poor. A rich landowner doesn't need to work. Baba said, "Having a little land is better."

"Mama and Baba were poor people but they were also good people. They were not at all like rich land owners."

"Yes, but only rich people are happy," Big Lin shouted. "Poor people are miserable, poor people have to work, and they must...."

Suddenly, there was a thunderous noise.

"Must do what? Must eat you "

Big Lin and Little Lin fell to the ground in fear. Even their pockets were shivering!

Whose voice was that?

Silence.

The two brothers clung to each other and the sweat poured from their brows like drops of rain. Their knees knocked. They looked about them but saw no one.

"Who was that?" Big Lin asked.

"I don't know."

But a second later they knew. A second later the black mountain before them began to stir.

"It's an earthquake! Run!" shouted Little Lin.

Then just as they began to run, the mountain stood up towering above them.

Aiya! It was a monster--neither man nor beast!

What they had thought was a black mountain was a sleeping monster. Now he was standing straight up and his eyes like great gongs shone with a green glow. His hands on which sprouted grass were stretched out to grasp Big Lin and Little Lin. He was going to eat them!

It was awful! Big Lin and Little Lin were the monster's meal for sure.

Big Lin thought: "Mama and Baba are gone. Our grain is all used up. We have no land nor any money. We have nothing. So, let the monster eat us!"

Little Lin was very worried. He realized that flight was futile-the monster's arms were too long. Even if they ran a long, long way--say three li--the monster could scoop them up in one hand.

The monster, seeing that he had something to eat, laughed as he looked at Big Lin and Little Lin. Little Lin asked him: "Do you have to eat us?"

"Perhaps not. But if not, you must give me some jewels. "

"What jewels? We've never even seen jewels in our lives."

"Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm sorry!"

Little Lin whispered to Big Lin.

"Run!"

"He can catch us."

"Let's split up. That way he won't be able to get either of us."

One. Two. Three! Big Lin ran off east while Little Lin headed west.

The monster wanted to chase after Big Lin but he also wanted to grab Little Lin. So, he ran a few steps east and few steps west and couldn't capture either of them.

Big Lin and Little Lin ran off leaving only their gunnysack behind. The monster was very hungry so he picked up the sack and ate it. But his mouth was too large and the sack too small and it got stuck in his teeth. The monster ripped up a tree and used it as a toothpick and finally managed to get it free.

He thought to himself. "It's best I go back to sleep."

The moon had already come out. It was curved like an eyebrow.

The monster stretched himself, raised an arm and cut himself on a corner of the moon. He spat vehemently, "This has been a bad day!"

# Chapter Two

The King's Laws

Little Lin ran twenty li[4] in a single burst. He ran down into a valley and then looked behind him. The monster was nowhere to be seen so he stopped running. He was panting frantically. He shouted. "Big brother, big brother!"

But then he realized that they had set out in opposite directions. He had no idea where his brother had run to. He wiped away his tears and was about to sob but he found he was too tired. So, he lay down in the grass and fell into a noisy sleep.

The moon came out. The tears in the corners of Little Lin's eyes were sparkling. Little Lin had slept for two hours when along came two gentlemen who stood before him.

One gentleman was a dog whose name was Pipi[5]. The other was a fox by the name of Pingping[6]. They were very neatly dressed. The hat Pingping wore was particularly beautiful as though it was made from hammered silver. Pipi said to Pingping,

"My luck has been good today. Today I came across a leather box."

"And what was in the box?" asked Pingping.

"You'd never guess. It was full of flies!"

"To find a box of flies is nothing," said Pingping. Pingping was a very learned gentleman.

Pipi said, "Well, Mr. Pingping. So, what would you consider a remarkable find?

"As I see it, a person would be a very good find."

On they went talking away until they came upon Little Lin.

The moment Pipi saw Little Lin he jumped for joy. "You see! Mr. Pingping, Mr. Pingping. I told you I would come across a person. Ha! Ha! You see!"

Pingping scratched his cheek and eyed Pipi enviously.

Pipi was very strong and grasping Little Lin lifted him up by the collar.

"Mr. Pingping. What do you think this fellow can fetch by the pound[7]? "

Little Lin hadn't woken yet and murmured in his sleep, "I want to get back to sleep. What are you yammering about?"

Pipi burst out laughing. "What? You say that we've disturbed your sleep! Ha! Ha! Ha!" I've scooped you up so now you belong to me!"

Little Lin woke up with a start. Aya! no...another misfortune!

"What? I was sleeping away pleasantly. What's that got to do with you.?"

"I don't care a fig[8]--I scooped you up." Pipi said.

"And since you've scooped me up, I've become your property?"

"Of course. If you don't believe me, ask him. Pipi pointed at Pingping.

Pingping bowed towards Little Lin so that his snow white ears scraped on the ground and came up all covered in dirt. He said, " In this world there is just such a law: Whatever is found by someone becomes his property. Mr. Pipi found you and you are undeniably Pipi's property."

Little Lin rubbed his eyes and looked at Pipi and then looked at Pingping.

"I don't believe there is any such rule in this world!"

Pipi said, " It makes no difference whether you believe. Our laws are so established. Since I found you, you belong to me. However, if you give me a thousand dollar gold brick, I will set you free."

Little Lin struggled to free himself, but it was no use; Pipi was too strong and held Little Lin firmly in his grasp.

Little Lin burst out with, " I'm not yours! I have no gold bricks to give you. I don't believe there is any such law. I refuse to accept that!"

"Let's go and ask someone and see if there is such a law."

"Okay. Let's go and see the king."

"Fine--let's go."

They set out with Pipi clutching Little Lin. Little Lin said, " Mr. Pipi I am very grateful that you're carrying me. I'm so tired I couldn't budge an inch. "

Although Pipi was very strong, after carrying Little Lin for several li, his arms began to ache. So, he loosened his grasp.

Little Lin said very respectfully, "Mr. Pipi, if you can't carry me I can walk on my own."

"Okay."

The moment Pipi put him down, Little Lin took off like the wind.

Pingping was so startled that his ears shot straight up sending his hat flying into the sky. It flew all the way up until it got stuck on a corner of the moon. Pingping was so upset he began to cry.

"Aya! My hat."

His good friend Pipi had no time to bother about someone else's hat. All he could think about was capturing Little Lin and so he ran after him as fast as he could. Since he came from a family of hunting dogs, Pipi ran faster than Little Lin. Finally, Pi Pi's hand was only a foot[9] away from Little Lin.

Oh! Heavens! Pipi's hand was now only five inches away from Little Lin.

"Run Little Lin, run!" Little Lin spurred himself on.

But Mr.Pipi's hand was now only one inch from Little Lin.

The moon in the sky ran along with Little Lin. Pingping's tall hat hanging from a corner of the moon was swaying back and forth in the breeze.

Finally, Pipi's placed his hand on Little Lin's shoulder and held him fast.

Little Lin said, "We'll say you're the faster runner."

"Little Lin, It doesn't matter figs or grapes[10], we're going to the king to ask him if you're my property or not."

So, the dog gentleman dragged him back, followed by the moon with its silver hat.

Pingping continued to cry with his big red eyes fixed on his hat on the moon.

"What's to be done?"

Pipi replied impatiently, " What are you crying about? Wait until the moon becomes round again and the hat will fall off. You should have it in half a month."

Pingping said through his tears, " Okay. So, it's goodbye then. You go on ahead and I'll wait here."

So, Pipi and Little Lin headed towards the capital. In two hours they were before its gates.

Pipi knocked at the door. "Open up. open up!" he shouted.

The king had almost fallen asleep when he heard the knocking. He furrowed his brow, "Who could be knocking at this time of night?"

"Me!"

The king had no choice but to get up and open the city gates. He was very old with a very long white beard that dragged on the ground which if he wasn't careful could trip him up. Holding a candle, the king slowly walked to the gates. Suddenly, he fell with a crash to the ground and the candle went out.

"Aiyou " cried the king.

Pipi lost his patience and shouted, " Harrumph! What's taking you so long to open the gates?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Wait till I've lighted the candle. What a nuisance!"

An hour later, the king opened the gates.

"What's the matter?" asked the king.

Pipi bowed to the king and said,"

No. I'm wrong. Actually, Mr. Pipi hadn't even opened his mouth, when Little Lin burst out with:

"I was sleeping on the ground and then this Mr. Pipi came along. And then Mr. Pipi picked me up and then Mr. Pipi said I was his property. And then I fought back. And then we came to ask the king."

" And then what? "asked the king.

"And then I knocked at the door, And, then King, you fell down. And then you started to cry."

The king blushed. "I did not!"

Pipi bowed again. "King, you judge. If Pipi came across Little Lin, then Little Lin is Pipi's property. There is such a law, is there not?"

Little Lin shouted, " That's wrong!"

"Be quiet!" said Pipi. We are asking the king. King, you decide."

The king stroked his beard and said, " Pipi is right. Little Lin is Pipi's property."

"I don't believe it! shouted Little Lin.

"You have no right not to."

So, the king took from his pocket a book of laws and placing it beneath the candle began to flip through the pages. He flipped for the longest time before he found it. The King said, "Little Lin, this is our book of laws. You see: Law number 38,864: Should Pipi pick up Little Lin off the ground, then Little Lin becomes his property."

There was such a law and it was set forth in the king's book of laws.

Pipi asked Little Lin. "So what about it?"

"Okay. I'll go with you then."

"But Little Lin hated the king terribly. He said, " You definitely were crying!"

" Not the least bit shy, a red-tipped nose, a cow, a dog, a can of oil."[12]

Pipi shook his head, " That poem isn't so very clever."

He bowed again to the king. "Thank you, king."

Pipi began to drag Little Lin away. Just as the king was closing the gate he suddenly thought of something.

" Pipi, if you should see a wonton[13] stall tell him to come this way. I want to have some wonton."

"Right."

"If there's no wonton stall, deep fried stinking doufu[14] will do as well."

"Right."

"Pipi if you run into those stalls, could you pay for me?"

"No problem."

# Chapter Three

The Auction

The moon carried Pingping's hat westward as the sun in the east spit out its red light shot with gold and shone beautifully on the forest. Pipi and Little Lin arrived at a city. Little Lin asked, " Where are you taking me?"

"To my store."

"To work for you?"

"Don't ask questions. Since you belong to me, whatever I ask you to do, you will do."

Little Lin thought to himself, "Mama and Baba are dead. I don't know where older brother ran to and I've become Mr. Pipi's property. Oh! How terrible!"

These thoughts made Little Lin very unhappy. When they reached the street, Pipi called out," Horse and Carriage!" A horse and carriage swiftly appeared and Pipi pulled Little Lin into the carriage. Pipi then climbed into the carriage and called out to the driver, "Home." The cart set out. Little Lin was terribly tired and closed his eyes and after a while fell asleep. He dreamed that his mother and father were at his side and that Big Lin was giving him candy to eat. Little Lin laughed and gave Big Lin a tug.

"Big Brother!"

"What are you calling me Big Brother for?"

"What? Don't you recognize Little Lin?"

He pulled even harder at Big Lin. Big Lin pushed him away.

"Go back to sleep. What are you tugging at me for?"

Little Lin woke up. It turned out he'd been tugging at the dog gentleman. Little Lin still had nothing; it had been just a dream and he broke into tears. The gentleman pulled Little Lin down from the cart.

"Don't cry, we're already there."

It was a very, very busy street with neat little shops on both sides. Pipi brought Little Lin to the biggest of the shops which had a sign that read "Pipi's Store". On the door was painted a huge dog's head on top of which was a shiny black hat. At the collar was tied a very beautiful bowtie.

The two of them walked into the store whereupon the workers all bowed to Pipi. The manager of the store was called Miss Crocodile who had a pair of tiny eyes and a large mouth. Her skin was black, rough and hard. Her hair was like steel needles. Miss Crocodile thought herself very beautiful and she was preparing to marry the handsomest prince in the world. Every day, she would powder herself four hundred and eighty times and twice she would perm her hair. She wore the most expensive silk stockings and dancing shoes, but her legs were very short.

The moment she saw that Pipi had returned, she grabbed a mirror the size of the moon and began to powder her face and then ran to see Pipi.

"Mr. Pipi did you get the goods? What did you get?"

Pipi took a little box from his pocket and said, " This is a box of flies." And then pointing to Little Lin said, "That is a Little Lin." Miss Crocodile picked up a pen and wrote, " "Flies--one box. Little Lin--one"

Miss Crocodile took Little Lin inside and locked him in a huge warehouse which was packed full of things. There were cats, hand towels, sugar, Little Lin, mirrors, eggs, pencils and all sorts of utensils and food items.

Little Lin stayed in the warehouse for three days. Each day when it was meal time, Miss Crocodile would take him out to eat and then take him to the garden for a walk.

One day after lunch, while Miss Crocodile was taking Lin to the garden, they saw a young fellow pass by the entrance. Miss Crocodile suddenly let go of Little Lin and ran after the young man. But the young fellow ran for his life. Miss Crocodile didn't catch him and came back all in tears.

"Why were you chasing him?" asked Little Lin.

Miss Crocodile said, " I love him. But he doesn't love me. He used to work in Pipi's store. He was afraid that I loved him and cried his head off for a week and then ran away. I couldn't catch him then and today I didn't catch him either."

As soon as she said this she began to cry again. When she was finished, she brought Little Lin back to the warehouse.

On the fifth day, they placed Little Lin in a barrel. In the barrel along with Little Lin there was also a bottle of ink, a box of matches, a cookie, one painting reproduction and an iron ball. Then they took this barrel into a large courtyard. There, row upon row, were thousands of barrels of goods.

" What are you doing?" asked Little Lin.

"We're going to sell you." said Pipi.

"Okay. Thank you."

At three in the afternoon, Miss Crocodile rang a bell and the courtyard filled with people. They had all come to buy things and were pushing this way and that to get into their chairs.

Pipi announced to them: " Ladies and Gentlemen, Pipi's Store would now like to auction off all this stuff. These are high quality goods. Your attention: We would like first to auction off Barrel Number One. In this barrel you will find: One Little Lin, one bottle of ink, one box of matches, one cookie, one print of a painting, and one iron ball. All is very fine merchandise. May I have your bids please?"

The buyers all began to shout.

"I bid one cent."

"I bid two cents."

"Ten coppers!"

"Twelve!"

"Five cents!"

"Six cents!"

"Six and half cents!"

"Six and three-quarter cents!"

"Seven cents!"

I man with a great green beard stood up and said:

"I bid a dime. I bid a dime."

Mr. Pipi replied:

"Okay. Sold. Little Lin from now on you are the property of Mr. Sisige"

This was this green-bearded man's name.

Miss Crocodile walked over to Little Lin and said, "Goodbye Little Lin. Don't forget me."

"I won't forget you."

Mr. Pipi also approached Little Lin and said:

Goodbye Little Lin. Don't forget Pipi."

"I won't forget you either."

Mr. Sisige then tucked Little Lin under his arm and sat him in a green horse cart.

Little Lin asked, "What are you going to do with me?"

"Put you to work, put you to work."

"To do what sort of work?"

"Whatever it is, you must do it, you must do it."

"Will you pay me?"

"No payment, No payment."

After a while, Little Lin asked:

"How come you have to say everything twice?"

"Because my nostrils are so large, so large, when I speak, in my nostrils, there's an echo, an echo." Sisige said, stroking his green beard.

# Chapter Four

Foot Torture

Their horse cart came to a stop.

Sisige ran a very large business, one even bigger than Pipi's shop. Over the door was a sign a block long that read:

The Gurgle Works, The Gurgle Works[15]

We make all kinds of jewelry, jewelry

Pearls, Jade, Gold and Silver and Diamonds, Diamonds

Everything is first rate! First Rate! Really Good! Really Good!

"Did you notice the sign? Notice the sign?" Sisige asked Little Lin.

"Yes, I did."

"Good, good. Now you must work for me, work for me If you slack off, I will beat you, beat you."

There were eight hundred girls and boys working at The Gurgle Works. They were making things of pearls and gold and silver. As for Little Lin, the green-bearded boss had him working on diamonds. There were very few working on diamonds, only three, Little Lin included.

Sisige said to Little Lin:

"You must get up at three in the morning and go to the kitchen to fetch my breakfast, fetch my breakfast. Afterwards, you trim my beard, trim my beard. Then you go to work, go to work. Then you rest for one second, one second. Then you go back to work, back to work. Then you rest again, for one second, one second. Then you go back to work, back to work. Then at twelve in the evening you go to sleep, go to sleep. Then at three in the morning, you get up and go to the kitchen to fetch my breakfast, fetch my breakfast. Then you trim my beard, trim my beard....."

Little Lin was terribly busy. He got up at three when of course it was still not light. Only the moon stood outside his window looking down at him. Little Lin had to fetch Sisige's breakfast. Sisige ate fifty kilos of noodles, one hundred eggs and a cow for breakfast. This was too much for Little Lin to carry. Fortunately, there was a friend who helped him. This friend was called Sixizi[16], a ten-year old child who also was working on the diamonds.

Once Mr. Sisige had finished his breakfast, Little Lin would trim Sisige's beard. But Sisisge's green beard would grow back quickly. If it were cut at three thirty, by four it was as long as it had been yesterday. Sisige told Little Lin:

"If my beard is not cut daily, not cut daily, it will grow longer than the whole earth, longer than the whole earth."

After cutting Sisige's beard, Little Lin would work on the diamonds. Little Lin would go to Sisige's secret cellar where there was a pitch-black cave from which Little Lin would draw out mud-like things which he put into a barrel and then stirred. After stirring for three days and three nights, and sweating buckets he made one hundred grams of diamonds. Each gram of diamonds could sell for 100 thousand dollars. Of course, Sisige was very rich, very rich.

Although Little Lin suffered terribly, Sisige often still beat him. If Little Lin looked away for a moment or yawned, Sisisge's whip would strike his back with a snap. All day long, Sisige carried his whip and no one was safe from a beating.

One-day, Little Lin worked very hard and made more diamonds than usual. Sisige was very pleased and gave Little Lin an iron ball to play with saying:

"You worked well today, well today. I give you this iron ball as a reward, as a reward. But usually, you don't work well, don't work well. Obviously, you make no effort, make no effort. Why is it that you make no effort, make no effort? Obviously, you are bad, you are bad. Bad people must be beaten, must be beaten. Today, I must beat you, beat you."

So, Little Lin was beaten once again.

Many days went by like this. If I were tell you about all the things that happened during this time it would take too long, take too long. We'll just flip through the pages of Little Lin's diary and see what happened.

_Friday. Get up fetch breakfast. Then cut his beard. Then go to work. Then be beaten. Then cry. Then go to sleep._

_Saturday. Get up fetch breakfast. Then cut his beard. Then go to work. Then be beaten. Then cry. Then go to sleep._

_Sunday. Get up fetch breakfast. Then cut his beard. Then go to work. Then be beaten. Then cry. Then go to sleep._

_Monday. Get up fetch breakfast. Then cut his beard. Then go to work. Then be beaten. Then cry. Then go to sleep._

_Tuesday. Get up fetch breakfast. Then cut his beard. Then go to work. Then be beaten. Then cry. Then go to sleep._

At the end of the month, something suddenly occurred to Little Lin. He asked Sixizi softly:

"How come sweat and mud can be turned into diamonds?"

Sixizi said, "I don't know."

"Why are diamonds so expensive? What are they good for?"

"I don't know."

Little Lin lowered his voice:

We dig out the mud, we pour out the sweat, we stir the barrels, so _we_ can sell the diamonds too."

Sixizi thought for a moment.

"We can!"

"How come Sisige can sell them?"

"I don't know."

Another child called Mumu who also made diamonds said:

"So, let's do it ourselves!"

"Agreed!"

Little Lin asked:

"If Sisige finds out, will he beat us?"

Sixizi again thought this over:

"I don't think so. We could say to Sisige "These belong to us. We can sell them. What business is it of yours?"

None of them could sleep that day. Then they took several grams of diamonds out into the streets.

"One, Two Three. Diamonds for sale."

"One, Two Three. Diamonds for sale. Fair prices. Just fifty thousand a gram!"

An old lady approached them:

"How about a little less?"

Sixizi said:

"Grannie, fifty thousand is cheap enough!"

The old lady shook her head:

"Too much, too much."

The old lady started to walk away. Then after a few paces she turned and picked up a diamond and examined it very carefully. All of sudden she shouted:

"It's a fake"!

Little Lin didn't budge:

"How can it be a fake!"

"What's your company? How come you don't have a trademark?"

"We made these ourselves."

And just as they were talking along came a policeman. This policeman was a "four eyes". He seized Mumu, Little Lin and Sixizi:

"Don't you three little devils belong to The Gurgle Works?"

"We do."

The policeman's four eyes opened very wide:

"Very good. You've stolen these diamonds from The Gurgle Works! Come with me!"

"What do you mean stolen? We made these ourselves!"

"Not interested! Come with me!"

Just as the three were thinking of fleeing, the policeman pulled out a rope and bound them up. Then he took them before a judge. This judge was a fox and was Pingping's younger brother called Baobao. Baobao's face was black and his body was black too. Baobao said:

"Why did you steal those diamonds and try to sell them?"

"We didn't steal them. We made them ourselves."

"That's right. I am very handsome, hence you stole things and I must punish you."

Little Lin cried:

"We just said we didn't steal them. We made them ourselves!"

Baobao nodded:

"Indeed. I've just been to the Imperial Gardens where everyone praised my beauty. Since I am very handsome you have come here, and I must punish you."

Little Lin said softly to Sixizi:

"How come this judge speaks so weirdly"?

"I don't know."

Mumu asked Baobao:

"What's this punishment for? What's the reason?"

Baobao nodded again:

"Yes. I've just eaten two chickens and one rabbit. Therefore, it's imperative I punish you. Also, because the hat which was hanging from the moon has now fallen to the ground, I must lock you up for a week. Next time, you mustn't steal!"

Sixizi was about to speak when the four-eyed policeman seized him with Little Lin and Mumu and locked them up in a room.

Little Lin said:

"Why did they lock us up?"

Sixizi cried and said:

"I don't know."

At this point, not finding Little Lin, Sixizi and Mumu, Sisige lost his temper. The whip in Sisige's hands cried out:

"Huhu, I want to beat someone. Huhu, I want to beat someone."

Sisige said to the whip:

"Shut your mouth! Shut your mouth. Of course, I know that, know that. When I find them, I will whip them good and sound, whip them good and sound!"

Later when Sisige discovered what had happened to them he rushed over to see Baobao.

"Mr. Baobao, Mr. Baobao. If you lock them up for a week, for a week, who will make my diamonds, make my diamonds?" Please don't lock them up. Use another method to punish them, to punish them.

Baobao said:

"I could."

Baobao released the three and then wrote on a sheet of paper:

"Foot torture"

They were to be foot tortured. What is foot torture? It wasn't clear. Little Lin thought that if it's foot torture then it means that they their feet would be whipped. This was nothing to fear, they were used to beatings.

The policeman led them to a room at the entrance of which there was a sign that read:

_Foot Torture Room_

The policeman tied them up and removed their shoes and socks. Then the torture began. Foot torture is not done using a whip. It's...oh! my goodness...it's absolutely unbearable! Actually it's....Yikes! It's very hard to take!

Little Lin cried:

"Oh no. No way, no way! That's not right!"

Sixizi cried:

"Let me go! Let me go! Ai-you!"

Mumu's face was covered in tears:

"Aya! This is horrible--a little lighter please! Lighter please, aya, aya!"

I'm going to take advantage of this moment when they are not screaming to explain. What is foot torture? Well, it's tickling the soles of the feet!

The three of them were tied up very tightly. They couldn't budge an inch. The policemen were tickling the soles of their feet in earnest and the children's feet were itching like crazy. It was unbearable and there was no escape. The three of them laughed so hard they couldn't catch their breath and tears leaped from their eyes. But they also wanted to cry.

The tickling went on for an hour.

Later Sisige came and took them away. Grasping his whip, he said:

"You are so bad, so bad, stealing my diamonds and trying to sell them, sell them. Today I will really thrash you, thrash you!"

Pai! Pai! Pai!

This time the beating was particularly harsh. The three of them were beaten until the skin opened and the blood came streaming down. They shouted and cried. Little Lin recalled that he had neither father and mother nor Big Lin, and so he cried all the harder. Sisige didn't stop beating them until he was tired.

"I'm going to let you off easy, let you off easy. Now go and make diamonds, make diamonds!"

Their legs were so sore that they tottered this way and that as they walked away.

Pai! Another crack of the whip.

"Move it!"

# Chapter Five

The Strength of Little Lin

The cold of winter had arrived.

Unable to take the cold, the sun had dressed itself up in very heavy clothing and so was not giving off much heat.

Little Lin, Sixizi and Mumu were sleeping together in a little room with straw for their pillows and straw for their bedding. They were very cold. When making diamonds, their hands had gone all stiff. Little Lin was so cold that even his teeth had cold sores which were swollen, itchy and painful. When he talked, if he wasn't careful, he would brush against these sores which really hurt. "Ayou!"

One day just as Little Lin was going to sleep, something rolled in front of him--it was a chicken egg.

"Save me, Little Lin!"

"Who's speaking?" Little Lin looked all about him.

"Me. I'm an egg."

Mumu and Sixizi awoke and sat up.

Little Lin said to the egg:

"What? You want me to save you?"

The egg, on the verge of tears, replied:

"Save me. Sisige wants to eat me. I wasn't always an egg."

The three of them didn't know what to make of this. Sixizi said:

"Mr. Egg, please have a seat and tell us all about it."

"I can't--I wobble."

So, little Lin placed the egg on some straw. The egg had cold sores too with a red spot on its shell.

The egg told its story:

"Thank you. I am so cold. You see I was originally a person, my name was Qiaoqiao[17]. I too worked at the Gurgle Works making diamonds. Sisige is the most rotten of rotten eggs. I made diamonds for him for two years. And then, Sisige said to me:

"One, two, three--You're a chicken egg."

"One, Two, Three--You're a chicken egg!"

So, I was transformed into an egg. All the children at The Gurgle Works will be changed into eggs and then Sisige will eat them."

Hearing Qiaoqiao, the egg's tale, they stared at one another shivering in fear.

The egg lowered its voice:

"There's no point in being scared. We've got to think of a way out this."

Little Lin thought, "Yes, we must first save Qiaoqiao."

"Qiaoqiao can you still change back into a person?"

"I can. Qiaoqiao, the chicken egg said. "Little Lin, you have an iron ball, don't you? All you have to do is give me a tap and break me into pieces and I'll become a person again."

"That won't hurt you, will it?"

"It won't. Quick, do it!"

Little Lin gave the egg a tap with the iron ball. Pai! The egg changed into a round-faced girl. This was what Qiaoqiao used to look like.

Qiaoqiao gathered the three of them around her and whispered:

"Tomorrow, Little Lin, when you get Sisige's breakfast put a little of the mud from the dark cave into it. When he eats this he will fall asleep and we can make our getaway."

These words were immediately picked up in the next room and then the next and the next until all the children of The Gurgle Works knew. So, everyone came and squeezed into their little room.

They wanted to beat Sisige to death.

Little Lin jumped to his feet:

"Yes. Once there is no more Sisige, life will be better for us."

--Oops. He'd brushed against his cold sores--"Ai You!"

Qiaoqiao with several others went to the place where Sisige stored the eggs and struck them with the iron ball. Some were real eggs, but others changed into children.

At three o'clock, Little Lin did as Qiaoqiao said and put some of the mud from the dark cave into Sisige's food. The moment he ate this he went noisily to sleep.

Everyone shouted.

"Okay. Now we can get to work!"

Qiaoqiao said:

"We have to throw the ball so it lands on him and then he's finished."

"What's hard about that?"

"But the ball has to be thrown a hundred feet in the air before it works. If it isn't thrown that high, then it won't kill Sisige. It will just wake him up and then he will eat the lot of us."

Sixizi blurted out:

"That's dangerous! What if we don't throw the ball and don't beat Sisige?"

"In that case, one day, sooner or later we will all be turned into Sisige's eggs."

"That I'm opposed to! I agree that we throw the iron ball."

"Who has the strength? Who will throw it?"

"Little Lin! Little Lin!"

"Okay. I'll do it." Little Lin agreed.

Everyday, Little Lin brought Sisige his breakfast and that breakfast was heavy. He brought it day after day which made Little Lin very strong. So, Little Lin picked up the ball and got ready to throw it when--Ai! Aiya! He bit the cold sore and his arm went limp from the pain.

On his second try, Little Lin got ready--he must throw it very high, the higher the greater the force--One, Two, Three!

But the force was too great, and the ball just kept on climbing until it disappeared.

Everyone craned their neck to watch it, but they couldn't see it. They waited and waited.

Little Lin grew anxious:

"What do we do now? How if we beat him with a stick?"

"You can't kill Sisige with a stick."Qiaoqiao said.

Only an iron ball would do.

"Okay, so we'll make one!' Little Lin suggested. "The ball that I threw just now is gone."

"Good. Let's make a new one."

So, everyone got busy making an iron ball which took them late into the night. What about Sisige? He was still asleep.

Suddenly, at three in the morning an iron ball fell from the sky and dropped next to Sisige's feet. Sisige was snoring away, his green beard rising with each snore.

When Little Lin had thrown the ball, he'd only paid attention to the force but not to the aim. He walked over and picked it up.

"Another throw!"

This time he used only half the force, but he was much more careful and aimed it properly.

Once the ball reached the hundred-foot mark, it started to fall and fell right on top of Sisige.

Everyone, seeing that Sisige was dead and that they wouldn't be changed into chicken eggs, was delighted. They shouted:

"Wonderful, wonderful!"

Little Lin burst out laughing. He was so happy. When suddenly--

"Ouch!"

"Huh?"asked Qiaoqiao.

"My teeth! My teeth!"

# Chapter Six

At Uncle Zhong Mai's

Everyone said:

"Sisige is dead, the company belongs to us. What should we do now?"

Qiaoqiao made a suggestion:

"We go back to work each doing his own task. Then we take the things we make to market."

"Agreed! Agreed!"

Sixizi said:

"From now on no more beatings."

"Of course,"Sisige is dead, who else can beat us?"

"No more tickling of feet!" Mumu suggested.

"I am also opposed to sleeping on straw."

Qiaoqiao took up a pen and wrote as she spoke:

"No more beatings, No more tickling of feet. No more sleeping on straw. Is there anything else?"

Little Lin said in a big voice:

"We must have frostbite medicine."

Having made their proposals, they brought in Sisige's breakfast and started to eat. Everyone was very happy.

However, today there still many things they needed to discuss.

"We must choose a leader." said one.

"And we need people to manage things." said another.

"We need some rules..."

There were so many problems.

During a break everyone started singing, while others struck up a beat and began to dance. But just as they were enjoying themselves, disaster struck!

They were singing and dancing away when in strode a figure. The instant they saw him, everyone froze. Some of the children were trembling. Many of them began to shout.

Who was this?

My God, It was Sisige!

No doubt about it, it was Sisige!

Sisige with his green beard and a whip in his hand.

But when Little Lin looked over to where the dead Sisige had been, he was still clearly there, lying on the floor.

"Who are you?" Sixizi asked the living Sisige.

"Me? I'm Sisige the Second."

After a pause, Sisige the Second continued:

"You think that everything's solved by killing Sisige? Hm! There's me, Sisige the Second! I'm going to call the monster and he's going to take you away. Each of you will be sentenced--you've committed murder!

Qiaoqiao shouted:

"It's Sisige who's committed murder. He worked many children to death."

"Hm! Sisige the Second replied: "In a word: You've killed your boss!"

While Sisige was busy talking, Little Lin stealthily picked up an iron ball, aimed carefully and brought it down on Sisige the Second killing him.

Qiaoqiao cried:

"Everyone run. Everyone run!"

Just as they all about to run out the door, in walked another Sisige!

"Halt! I am Sisige the Third. If you run, I will call the monster!"

"Run!' Mumu shouted.

So everyone rushed towards the door, knocking Sisige the Third to the floor.

Sisige the Third shouted:

" _Help! Come quickly. Monster come quickly!_ "

He shouted and shouted. Suddenly the sky went completely black. The ground began to shake. The monster was on his way! He was so very big that he blackened the sky. And who was this monster? Why the monster that wanted to eat Little Lin and Big Lin--that monster!

And with him came a great crowd of policemen. They were there to arrest the murderers because the children had killed the two Sisiges.

Little Lin remembered that day he and Big Lin had split up so the monster couldn't pursue them. So he cried:

"Split up! Split up!"

The monster didn't know what to do. He grabbed a few of the slower runners and ate them. Sixizi was eaten and Mumu disappeared.

Little Lin and Qiaoqiao ran together and fortunately they were fast, otherwise they would have been in big trouble.

Little Lin was running along and not paying attention when all of a sudden he ran into a tree and knocked his ears off.

"Hold on! I dropped something."

Qiaoqiao picked up Little Lin's ears.

"Okay, let's get going!"

"Let me wrap the ears up so they don't get dirty."

Qiaoqiao gave Little Lin a sheet of newspaper to wrap up the ears. Little Lin stuffed them in a pocket and they set off again. In a flash they ran fifty li. Looking back they saw that the monster had not caught up with them, so Little Lin and Qiaoqiao sat down on the ground to rest.

Qiaoqiao started to speak to Little Lin....

But just as Qiaoqiao was about to open her mouth, Little Lin suddenly shouted:

"Qiaoqiao, there's something missing from your face!

"What's missing?"

"I don't know. There's something missing from your face. You don't look yourself. What about my ears?"

Qiaoqiao took the ears from his pocket and Little Lin reattached them. Then she asked:

"So what have I lost? Is it my ears?"

"I guess so...." And then a moment later:

"No. I see it. You've lost your nose!"

Qiaoqiao felt her face. Yes, the nose was gone. She was very upset.

"What am I to do?"

They looked around on the ground, but they couldn't find it. They looked all night long.

On the second day, they gave up looking and continued on their way.

They hadn't gone two li when they came to a train station. Beside the station there was a little house. On the door to the house there hung a sign on which read:

_Notice:_

_Yesterday I found a nose. Would the person who has lost this nose, please come in and claim it._

_Respectfully_

_Zhong Mai_

Qiaoqiao, we've found your nose!

Little Lin and Qiaoqiao went into the house where they saw an old gentleman who was eating. The old gentleman said:

"I am Zhong Mai. Have you come to claim the nose? What does your nose look like?"

"It's pointed and has two nostrils."

"That's it. Take it away."

They took the nose and were about to leave when they felt hungry. They looked at the food on the table and then at Uncle Zhong Mai. They were famished!

Zhong Mai had already noticed this and asked them:

"You haven't eaten?"

"Not yet"

"Come quickly and eat or it will get cold. Where are you children from?"

On hearing what this old uncle had asked them, they realized they were homeless. They started to cry. Qiaoqiao and Little Lin cried as they ate and cried as they spoke:

"We worked at the Gurgle Works. Then Sisige beat us. Then he turned us into chicken eggs to eat. Then we killed Sisige. Then there was a Sisige the Second. Then there was a Sisige the Third. Then the monster chased us. Then I lost my ears. Then she lost her nose. Then we came here. Then you asked us a question. Then we said: 'We worked at the Gurgle Works. Then Sisisge beat us. Then he wanted to turn us into chicken eggs to eat. Then we killed Sisige. Then..."

"I see, I see. You've no home, no place to go to. So, you can stay here with me."

Zhong mai gave Qiaoqiao and Little Lin a hug. Qiaoqiao and Little Lin smiled through their tears. Zhong Mai's eyes creased into a smile, and then he let out a little sigh. At that, Qiaoqiao and Little Lin couldn't hold back their tears.

# Chapter Seven

Little Lin Writes Big Lin a Letter

Big brother, I really miss you. Where are you? Qiaoqiao and I looked for a nose, we found Uncle Zhong Mai. The nose has been reattached. We call Zhong Mai uncle and baba. Baba Zhong Mai loves us.

Baba Zhong Mai drives a train. Baba Zhong Mai is teaching me to read. Baba Zhong Mai says:

"I am old. I am old. I'll teach you to drive the train. Then you can help me drive the train."

Then we said:

"That's wonderful."

So, we are learning to drive the train. We must study hard. We must learn how to do it.

Big brother, how are you really? Do you miss Little Lin?

And then, Qiaoqiao's nose often falls off. When Qiaoqiao's speaking if she's not careful, her nose will "plop" right off. When Qiaoqiao is riding in the train, her nose can come off. And then. And then big brother--can you guess? Do you know what happens next?

Ha! You didn't guess right. Next--Qiaoqiao puts her nose back on.

One day, Qiaoqiao and I were skipping rope. Qiaoqiao skips very well. So, she's skipping away and then suddenly her nose comes off again. Next we take the nose and...."

Next Baba Zhong Mai said:

"I must take Qiaoqiao to the hospital and have that nose treated."

But he didn't take her to the hospital, because Baba Zhong Mai didn't have any money.

Later, I remembered you, older brother. One day I had a dream. I dreamed that you had come. I was happy, and I asked you how you'd got here.

You said:

"Baba Zhong Mai asked me to come."

I was happy. I gave you a hug. Then, you and me and Baba Zhong Mai beat the monster. The monster cried:

"I want to eat you up!"

Then Qiaoqiao tied the monster up with the skipping rope. I gave the iron ball a throw and the monster died just like that.

Then the moon came out. The moon smiled at us and we also smiled at the moon. Then Sisige and Pipi suddenly came along. Pipi picked you up, but Qiaoqiao drove him away. Sisige suddenly took his whip and started to beat me and Baba Zhong Mai hit Sisige with the steel ball.

Then you and I and Baba Zhong Mai were very happy. Then we all drove the train. Then the moon invited us to dinner. Then all of sudden we drove the train to the home of the moon. Sixizi and Mumu were there in the home of the moon.

Then suddenly I woke up.

It was just a dream. Baba Zhong Mai was at my side, Qiaoqiao was at my side. But you weren't there.

I am still looking for you.

"Where's big brother, where is he?" I cried.

Big brother come quickly. When you reach the train station, ask where Uncle Zhong Mai lives. They will bring you here. You must come! Please do not fail!

Baba Zhong Mai hopes you will come. Qiaoqiao hopes you will come. When you come, we will all be happy.

Big brother, there's something else I want to tell you.

Before you come, write me a letter and tell me when you are arriving. We want to buy you a balloon and an apple. You must write me. You mustn't forget.

Just as I wrote this, Qiaoqiao's nose fell off again. Baba Zhong Mai is looking for it right now. I'm going to help them look. Just a sec.

A-Ya--so annoying!

Then what happened? Then we put her nose back on.

Now Baba Zhong Mai is telling me to go to bed and to stop writing. Tomorrow I have to get up early.

You must come. You must write. You must write and tell us where you are now and what you are doing. If you don't tell us, I will penalize you with twenty slaps to your hand.

I miss you every day.

Do you miss me?

Come quickly, come quickly....

The above is the letter that Little Lin wrote to Big Lin.

The envelope was addressed as follows:

_Express_

_Mr. Elder Brother (recipient)_

_From Little Lin (sender)_

# Chapter Eight

A Beautiful Angel

Do you think this letter made it?

Of course, it didn't.

Little Lin hadn't asked for Baba Zhong Mai's help. He hadn't discussed it with Qiaoqiao. He just posted his letter, He waited and waited--but he never received any word from Big Lin.

Every night, Little Lin dreamed of Big Lin but when he woke up Big Lin was nowhere to be seen.

"Big brother, where are you?"

And really, where had big brother gone to? Readers of this story all want to know.

Big Lin? Well, Big Lin was at this moment at home. He was in his own home eating. And this is when things got annoying for him. There were two hundred men standing at his side....

At this point, you may ask:

"How come you won't start at the beginning? How did Big Lin get here? How is that Big Lin has his own house? That day when the monster wanted to eat Big Lin and Little Lin, and Big Lin and Little Lin split up, we lost sight of Big Lin. Why not start from there?"

Okay, I will start from there.

On that day, the monster didn't capture Big Lin nor Little Lin. Big Lin ran, just like Little Lin, as fast as he could. In a flash he ran twenty li. But when he looked around the monster was gone and so was Little Lin.

Big Lin was completely worn out. So, he sat down beside a tree and began to think. Big Lin thought:

"Where has Little Lin gone to? If we were millionaires that would be better. If we were millionaires, we would have jewels to give the monster. And then the monster wouldn't eat us. And then we wouldn't have to split up."

Thinking away like this, Big Lin closed his eyes. He lay down on the ground and went to sleep. He dreamed a big dream. He dreamed that he and Little Lin had become millionaires. They gave lots of jewels to the monster, so the monster went away nicely. The monster even bowed to them. He also dreamed that he and Little Lin lived in a very, very fine house, that they ate well and that they didn't have to work. Big Lin was so happy.

"Being a millionaire would be very good!"

Suddenly, a voice said:

"Would you like to be a millionaire?"

"Who's speaking?"

"It's me," the voice replied. I am called Baobao.

Big Lin thought:

"Am I dreaming?"

Big Lin wasn't dreaming. Big Lin was awake. He opened his eyes and saw a fox gentleman standing before him. This fox gentleman's face was black, and he was formally attired. On his feet was a pair of crystal shoes, shining in the moonlight, dazzling to behold. This gentleman, Baobao, was Pingping's younger brother. Baobao asked Big Lin:

"Do you really want to become a millionaire?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm Baobao. Hey, do you want to become a millionaire?"

"No need to ask!" Big Lin said with a yawn.

"I'm called Baobao. I can think of a way to make you a millionaire."

"What?" Big Lin sat up with a start.

Big Lin thought he'd got something wrong. So, he asked again:

"Please say that again. What are you talking about?"

Baobao answered:

"It's true. I can help you become a millionaire."

Ha! Really! Big Lin got right to his feet and said to Baobao:

"You're a swell person! So, you can make me into a millionaire? Do you want something in return?"

"Of course, I do." Baobao laughed.

"What then?"

"We'll talk about that another time. Now, come to my place. Today is Monday. By Saturday, you'll be a millionaire."

Baobao took Big Lin by the arm and they departed for his home in the city. Baobao's home was protected by policemen and policemen were there to run errands for him.

Baobao said to Big Lin:

"I'm very good at high jumping, you know."

"I didn't know that."

"At our last sports meet I took first place."

After a little while, Baobao said to Big Lin:

"There's a millionaire by the name of Mr. Baha. Did you know that?"

"I didn't know that."

"Mr. Baha is by far the richest millionaire in the world. The American coal kings even ask Mr. Baha for loans. Also, Mr. Baha does not have a son. If you were to be his son, then you'd be a millionaire."

After a little while, Baobao said to Big Lin:

"I'm an official. Did you know that?"

"I didn't know that."

"I'm an official, but a minor one. I wish to be a big official, a really big official. I want to be a great lord. Mr. Baha and the king are on very good terms. The king listens to Mr. Baha. If Mr. Baha says to the king: "King, make Baobao a great lord", then the king will make me a great lord. Do you understand?"

"I do." Big Lin replied.

Babao looked Big Lin over and nodded his head.

"So, you should ask your father to go to see the king..."

Big Lin was confused.

"How can I ask my father? My father is dead."

"I mean Mr. Baha. Once you become Mr. Baha's son, wouldn't he be your father?"

"But how can I become Mr. Baha's son?"

Baobao laughed:

"Of course, I have a plan. You see, I'm going to dress myself up as an angel."

Baobao then took some white powder and started applying it to his face. Baobao's face was originally black, but after applying the powder it turned gray. Baobao added a little cream and then put on a dress. Once everything was complete he swayed back and forth in front of Big Lin.

"Am I beautiful?"

"Beautiful!"

Speaking in a feminine voice he asked Big Lin:

"Do I look like an angel?"

"You do!"

Later Baobao fetched a paper package from a closet.

"This is a pair of chicken wings. Last night I ate a chicken, but I saved the wings." Saying this, Baobao attached the wings to his back.

"What's that about?"

Baobao was startled.

"Oh my! Don't you know? Haven't you read any children's stories. In foreign children's stories, all the angels have wings, so that's why I've attached them to my back. That way I'm just like an angel."

Baobao looked at himself in the mirror.

"I'm truly an angel and so beautiful!"

Baobao began to perspire causing the powder and cream to wash off in places so his face now was black and white and red like an actor in a Chinese opera.[18]

This beautiful angel looked all about him. She whispered to Big Lin:

"Don't run off now. Just wait here patiently. If you're hungry, open the window and inhale some fresh air. I'm off to get this done. Bye-bye."

"Bye-bye."

"But you must keep today's business a secret. If the secret gets out, there's no way you'll become a millionaire. And I won't become a great lord. Remember!"

"Yes, I'll remember."

So Baobao prepared to leave. When he got to the door, he turned and took a egg tart from the cupboard and then locked it up. Baobao munched on the tart saying:

"It's important that an angel be able to sing. But this is no problem for me."

Big Lin heard Baobao singing "The Angel's Song" as he departed--

_"Eating an egg tart._

_Baobao looks so smart._

_Eating an egg tart._

_Baobao looks so smart._

_Eating an egg tart._

_Baobao looks so smart._

_Eating an egg start._

_........................."_

The sound grew fainter and fainter until it was gone. All of sudden, Big Lin felt dizzy and his eyes went blurry. He hurriedly opened the window, but there was a policeman standing just outside:

"What's this? Thinking of running away?"

"Who says I'm thinking of running away? I can hardly wait to be Mr. Baha's son."

# Chapter Nine

The Angel brings Happiness to Mr. Baha

Baobao swayed back and forth as he walked out the door and placed himself in his horse cart. He said to the horse:

"Dear, take me to Mr. Baha's. I have to jump over the wall, so just outside the wall will do. Do you understand?

"I understand."

They were off in a flash and raced on until they reached the wall. On the wall in black letters was written:

_"This is the home of Mr. Baha."_

_Graffiti strictly forbidden._

_If you paint anything here_

_I will tickle the sole of your foot 120 times."_

Next to this was written in six large characters:

_Writing anything here is strictly forbidden!_

Baobao dismounted and regarded the wall. The wall was made of silver and was about ten feet tall. It was as shiny as a mirror and looking at his reflected face which was red, black and white, the multicoloured Baobao couldn't help exclaiming:

"I am so beautiful. So cute. At the moment, I'm not a great lord, but if I become one, I will be cuter yet. I must get Big Lin to become Mr. Baha's son. I must jump over the wall. Here we go, here we go!"

Baobao got ready and one, two, three--he jumped. But the wall was too high. Mr. Baobao couldn't jump over it and fell on the ground. The horse who had been watching burst out laughing.

"Nay, nay, nay! Master Baobao has had quite the fall!"

Baobao lost his temper.

"Pei! You think it's funny that I failed to clear the wall. Just watch this!"

Baobao put all his strength into it. He got himself ready--one. two, three and he was over in one bound. From the wall, Baobao managed to climb onto a tree and from there he climbed through a window and into Mr. Baha's house.

Baobao took a little rest sitting on the floor. When he opened his eyes and examined things carefully, he noticed Baha asleep in his bed. Baha's bed was made of gold. His beard was green and when he snored he sent his green beard flying. Baha's tummy was a big as a mountain. His covers were made of bills all stitched together. Baha's lips were very thick--extremely so. People say that a bedbug once lighted on his lips and it took it hours to crawl from his upper lip to his lower. Later, Baha fearing that the bedbug had worn itself out called a doctor to give it an injection as this bug had been raised by Baha. Baha loved raising bedbugs and had raised a total of more than thirty thousand. In the evening, the bedbugs would vacation in the workers dormitories where they'd play hide and seek. This time a bedbug had crawled into one of Baha's nostrils and made it very itchy.

"Ah----Ah----Kechoo!"

Baha sneezed and woke himself up.

Baobao then quickly got to his feet and swayed to and fro towards Baha's bed. Baobao screeched:

"Baha, wake up! Wake up!"

Mr. Baha asked:

"Who's shouting at me?"

"It's me. I'm an angel from heaven."

Mr. Baha thought to himself:

"I've heard that angels are beautiful and that they have wings. If someone meets an angel, they will lucky. Let me see if this angel is pretty."

Mr. Baha opened his eyes very wide and looked the angel over very carefully until his eyes went blurry.

"Ah!" Baha announced. This really is my angel, really my angel!"

Baha got right up and kneeled on the bed.

"Beautiful angel, beautiful angel! Why have you descended to my place? What orders do you have for me? Are you here to bring me happiness? Do you love me? Why do your wings look like chicken wings?"

Baobao replied:

"That's what angel wings look like."

"Ah, yes of course. Seeing is believing. Angel, what is it that you wish to say to me?"

"Something very important. There's no need to go on kneeling like that. Sit up and we'll talk."

"How nice! Please sit down beautiful angel. Would the beautiful angel like a cigarette?

"Okay, give me one then."

Baha quickly passed a cigarette to Baobao and lit it for him. He sat down in a chair and crossed his left leg over his right and smoked as he said:

"This is a nice cigarette. We can't get these in heaven. But let's get to the point, Baha--you don't have a son, isn't that so?"

"Oh yes, the very thing on my mind."

"Would you like one?"

"Of course, I would. Of course. Can you, Angel, help me in this regard?"

Baobao drew hard on his cigarette:

"That's why I'm here. I see that you're a good person. So, I'm going to send you a son."

Baha was so happy he couldn't catch his breath:

"Really? Where, where? Did you bring him with you?"

Baobao replied:

"Don't be so hasty! Angels don't do things in a hurry like that. Baha, I'm hungry. Do you have anything to eat? Any wine?"

"Yes, yes!"

Mr. Baha gave a bell a ring and several servants appeared with a tray of meat and wine. Baobao talked as he ate:

"On Saturday, you will have a son. Saturday, at three in the afternoon, a child will come to your door. He will be dressed in black. That child will be your son. Now give me a ring. On Saturday that child in black will be wearing this ring. That will be the proof."

Upon hearing this, Baha cried with delight. Then he kneeled down before Baobao:

"Oh! Thank you, Angel, thank you. Ha! I have a son, a son!"

"Quiet down and listen to me. You son is already ten years old. He is very smart and you must do what he says."

"Of course, of course."

"Okay, I'm off."

Baobao stood up and swayed along to the window. He was about to jump down, when suddenly he remembered something:

"You've got a cartoon of cigarettes and bottle of wine here. I'd like to take these to heaven and give everyone a sample, what do you say?"

Baha gave the carton of cigarettes and the bottle of wine to Baobao who then jumped down from the window. Baha remained kneeling:

"Thank you, Angel, thank you."

# Chapter Ten

The Home of Baha

The days passed until finally it was Saturday. Baobao ordered Big Lin to dress in a black outfit:

"At three you go to Baha's home. I will also give you a ring which you will show to Mr. Baha as proof. From this day, you're going to be a millionaire. If Mr. Baha asks where you're from, just say that you came from the sky. Do you understand?"

"I understand,"

"Very good" Baobao patted Big Lin on the shoulder. "Let me repeat: from today on you will be a millionaire. But you mustn't forget me. You must repay this kindness."

"I certainly will."

"You must keep our secret safe."

"I certainly will."

When three arrived, Big Lin put on the black outfit, took the ring that Baobao had given him and set out for Baha's home. The door to Baha's house was made of steel and was encrusted with diamonds. At the entrance was a sign a block long:

The Home of Mr. Baha

Standing at attention as though they were made of stone were twenty-four foxes dressed in formal attire. The moment Big Lin entered the twenty-four foxes bowed respectfully to Big Lin:

"Are you Mr. Baha's little master?"

"I come from the sky. I'm Mr. Baha's son."

"The ring?"

"Got it."

At this the twenty-four foxes bowed to Big Lin:

"Ok then, you're the young master. No question. Please come in."

All of a sudden, a horse cart rode up bearing a sign on which was written in four large characters:

" **Welcome my son"**

The twenty-four foxes bade Big Lin climb into the carriage which was driven into the property. This place was so large that it took an hour to reach the house. Baha was there in person to greet Big Lin. When he saw the ring, he shouted with joy:

"I have a son. I have a son! Quick, call me "Baba"!

"Baba!"

Baha wanted to give his son a hug, but he couldn't do it. His tummy was too big. When he stretched out his arms he could only reach to the middle of his tummy. Still, Baha was extremely happy and gurgled his delight, his big tummy rising and falling. He said:

"I am the richest millionaire in the world. Now that you are my son you are also the richest millionaire in the world. I am the fattest person in the world and I will help you become fat too. I have a son, what joy! Tonight we shall have a great dinner to celebrate this event. I must give you a name, a beautiful name. I shall call you "Jiji"[19] and I will send you to school."

So, from that moment on, Big Lin was no longer called Big Lin but Jiji. We will be doing the same. Jiji said:

"I am really happy. This is a really happy moment."

"My good boy, come, give me a kiss, good boy."

Jiji ran over to Baha, struggled his way up over his great belly and gave Baha a kiss.

Baha then called two hundred very neatly attired servants to approach:

"You are now to serve and obey Master Jiji. Go and dress him in the finest clothing."

To Jiji, he said: "These two hundred servants are to wait on you and you alone. They are all numbered, so you can call them "Number One, Number Two, Number Two Hundred. There's no need to remember their names, that would be too tiring."

The two hundred servants changed Jiji into his new clothes and then brought him into a room that was brilliantly lit and wonderfully scented:

"Master Jiji, this is your study."

It was really very nice. The table was made from chocolate. The chairs were made of walnut flavoured candy over which was spread a layer of cheese. The floor was made of glass which was as shiny as a mirror. On closer inspection, it wasn't glass after all, but rock candy. Jiji said:

"Good. From now on I'm going to live a happy life. I'm a big millionaire now. From now on I'm going to eat well, dress well and have no need to work. Yippee! I'm definitely going to love this Baba."

Later, the two hundred servants took Jiji to Baha's room where they found Baha listening to the instructions from a doctor:

"Mr. Baha, there is nothing to worry about. This illness is minor. I'll give him three more shots today and he'll be fine."

Baha stood up:

"Okay. Now we'll go and have a look at the patient. Jiji, come with me."

Baha took Jiji by the hand and the three of them went into another room to have a look at the patient.

There were eighteen nurses gathered around the patient. They spoke in hushed tones to the doctor:

"He's sleeping."

"He's handling the cold?"

"He seems to be handling it okay."

"Good," said the doctor rubbing his hands and smiling. "Now I'll give him an injection."

Jiji thought this odd:

"Where's the patient? There's no one in the bed. Are my eyes deceiving me?"

Jiji ran over to take a closer look and discovered there was indeed a patient there, but he was very small and easy to miss.

The patient was nothing other than a bedbug.

Having given the bedbug his injection, the doctor turned to the eighteen nurses:

"Let the patient get some decent rest now. He mustn't be disturbed by noise of any kind. When he's slept to fifty-eight seconds past six forty-seven, wake him up and given him some milk. After that move him to the table for a stroll."

With these orders completed, the doctor hobbled away.

Baha took Jiji by the hand and exclaimed as they left:

"This doctor is world-famous. Just for a single diagnosis he charges twelve hundred dollars. Now I want to show you the bedbug recreation centre.

They entered a room where there were many, many bedbugs and immediately Jiji burst into a fit of sneezing. Standing near the doorway there was a gentleman who was the bedbugs' trainer. When he spotted Baha he called out:

"Stand at attention!"

At that all the bedbugs formed into lines.

Mr. Baha nodded with a smile and lead Jiji away.

Jiji asked Baha:

"Baba, why do you wish to raise bedbugs?"

"I have no need to work all day, so I raise bedbugs. Bedbugs are the cutest things in the world. And if someone doesn't obey me, I have the bedbugs bite him."

At five o'clock, a monster came to visit Baha. This monster's eyes were the size of cymbals and gave off a green light. There was grass growing from his hands and on his right hand there was a bandage.

The moment Jiji laid eyes on the monster he took to his heels. It was the same monster that had wanted to eat him and Little Lin.

Baha cried:

"Jiji! Jiji! It's okay! It's okay. This monster does what I tell him." To the monster he said:

"This is my son who was given to me by a beautiful angel."

The monster bowed to Jiji:

"Let's be good friends."

Baha asked the monster:

"What's up?"

"Nothing's up. I just wanted to know if Mr. Baha had any orders for me."

"How come your hand is bandaged?"

"I scraped it on the moon."

"I see, well, I have nothing for you. You can go. Tonight, I want to hold a feast."

The monster bowed and departed.

Baha told Jiji:

"The monster comes to see me once a day."

The thought of this made Jiji very happy:

"This is wonderful! Once I'm a millionaire everything is going to be terrific. Why did Little Lin say that being a millionaire was bad? Where is Little Lin now? Has he become a millionaire? Baba says he's the richest millionaire in the world. Baba is the fattest person in the world. It won't do unless I become fat too."

Later, Baha said to Jiji:

"Jiji, there are two things I want to tell you. First, you must do as I say. Second, you mustn't do any work yourself. Whatever

you want done call a servant to do it for you. Are you with me?"

"I am with you."

"Oh, good son. Come give me kiss."

Jiji used all his strength to climb up onto Baha's stomach to give him a kiss. Climbing down, he broke into a great sweat.

# Chapter Eleven

The Feast

At nine that evening, there was a great feast at Baha's. There were many guests including Pipi, Pingping, and Sisige. The moment Sisige spotted Baha he said to him:

"You've got a son, a son. Congratulations. Congratulations."

The long-bearded king was there too. Behind him a princess who was very short. She was called the Rose Princess. Behind the Rose Princess there were two hundred female servants each of whom had something in their hands. Some held vases, some held packages, some were carrying little purses, some had large packs on their backs and still others had great bundles and boxes.

Sisige whispered to Pipi:

"What does the Rose Princess need with all that luggage, luggage? Is she moving, moving?"

"What luggage!" Pipi said. "That's the Rose Princess's makeup."

"Aha! No wonder the Rose Princess is so lovely, so lovely."

Pingping approached. Pingping was a very learned fox. He said:

"Look how beautiful the Rose Princess is when she walks. Just like a duck. Her face too is that of duck. And her voice as well. Ducks are the most beautiful birds. In my view, there was a duck somewhere in the king's ancestors."

The king heard this and was very pleased.

"You are indeed a very intelligent fellow. I must give you an official position. Come see me tomorrow."

"At your majesty's service!" Pingping bowed with great reverence.

At this, a crowd surged forward admiring the princess and offering praise. Some even bowed to her. But the princess paid no attention to any of this because the princess believed she was the most beautiful person in the world. To her, everyone else was ugly. In fact she never even looked in their direction as her eyes were always directed towards the heavens.

Sisige squeezed himself forward and tried a little chitchat with the princess:

"Princess, today's weather is so fine, so fine."

Suddenly realizing someone must be talking to her, the Rose Princess politely replied:

"Indeed. No, no, no one is as beautiful, beautiful, beautiful as I am."

Actually, the Rose Princess never paid any attention to what others were saying to her. You're saying what you want to say, and I say what I want to say. So she had never learned how to make conversation.

Baha grasped Jiji by the hand and walked over to the princess:

"Let me introduce my son --a newly arrived product."

The Rose Princess politely nodded and said:

"I, I, I sing, sing, sing, better than anyone."

"Of course, of course, I really admire your singing." Baha nodded. Then looking about added:

"What's this? The prince hasn't made his appearance. I must introduce the prince to my son."

"His majesty." A voice called out.

The crowd rushed over to greet him at the entrance. Pipi asked Jiji:

"Master Jiji, do you find the Rose Princess pretty?"

"So cute, so cute!" Jiji replied.

"And the prince? Is he handsome?"

"Yes, very. And he's so tall too!"

The prince was in fact very tall. A few days previously when the prince was out for a walk, he noticed some clothing that had been hung out to dry in the sun. So, he reached up and walked away with it. The prince's nose was red.

The prince said to Pipi and Jiji:

"Yes, I'm handsome. And my nose is red."

"How is it that your nose is so red?"

"Because I'm so tall. It's very cold higher up in the sky which froze my nose red."

On and on they talked until a very formally attired fox ran up announcing:

"The prince has arrived."

The prince strode in, nodded to everyone present and bowed to Mr. Baha.

"Congratulations! You now have a successor."

This prince was the king's younger brother. He was called...his name is so long, that is it's hard to say it all in one breath. His name was:

_Prince there once was a king who had three sons, then when the king was older he told his three sons to go on adventures, then the three sons returned from their adventures, then the king was very pleased and then this story came to an end._

Baha asked the prince.

"Why do you have such a long name?"

"I am a prince. Princes are aristocrats. The names of aristocrats are very long."

"Your name is very hard to remember."

"You've nothing to do all day so why don't you commit my name to memory. It would be a good use of your time."

Baha bowed respectively:

"Much obliged, your highness."

Later they ate dinner which was set on a table that was twenty city blocks long. There were guests filling every space along its length.

Sisige said as he drank and ate:

"This dish is delicious, delicious. Better than the eggs I have, better than those eggs."

Sisige ate seventy-two cows, one hundred pigs, six elephants, one thousand two hundred eggs and thirty thousand roosters. He ate until his green beard was dripping with oil which rolled drop by drop onto The Rose Princess's feet making them all shiny like a nicely steamed ham.

Jiji sat beside Baha. Those two hundred servants were there to assist Jiji while eating. If he wanted something, he didn't have to lift a finger. Servant Number One would place that item in Jiji's mouth, while numbers two and three would take hold of his upper and lower jaws. Then:

"One, two, three."

They opened and closed his jaws until his food was finely chewed, all without Jiji making the least effort.

At this, Numbers Two and Three let go allowing Number Four to approach who pried open Jiji's mouth. Number Five then had a look inside Jiji's mouth with a mirror.

"It's all properly chewed."

Numbers Six and Seven grasped Jiji's upper jaw and chin and pulled his mouth wide open. Number Eight shoved a long stick into Jiji's mouth and pushed all the finely chewed food down into his esophagus so there wasn't any need to even swallow.

Jiji thought to himself:

"This is the life! This is the life!"

Pipi then got to his feet.

"Ladies and Gentleman, today we celebrate the arrival of Mr. Baha's son. Now let us congratulate Mr. Baha. Allow me to do so with a poem I wrote."

"Very good." Everyone clapped.

Pipi then began to recite his verse:

_A large pumpkin hangs from the pine tree._

_The Rose Princess is covered in flowers._

_When I'm finished eating, I return home_

_Actually, I wish ------_

Pipi then sat down as everyone clapped and cheered:

Such genius! Such genius!

Baha asked Pipi:

"I don't understand that last line. What does it mean?"

The meaning is: _Actually, I wish I could stay and not have to go_. But because I needed the line to rhyme so I cut it a little short.

"Pipi you're very smart, very smart."

The king's son was sitting right next to Sisige. He noticed that there were many eggs on Sisige's plate so he snatched one. Sisige said in a loud voice:

"Why did you steal one of my eggs, one of my eggs?"

The prince said softly:

"Don't make a fuss, aren't we good friends?"

"Who says we're good friends, good friends?"

With that, Sisige reached over and snatched the egg back. The prince then grasped Sisige by the arm:

"You thief!"

"That was mine originally, originally."

"But since it's in my hand, it is legally my property. You stole it and have broken the king's law."

Sisige popped the egg in his mouth and mumbled:

"What king's law, king's law! If we want to have a little fun, what of it? What of it?"

The prince was about to say something when through the window, they heard a woman's voice:

"Red-nosed prince you are so handsome. I am very fond of you."

And who was this? Everyone was startled and got up to have a look out the window.

There stood a young woman who was called Miss Crocodile. Miss Crocodile climbed through the window.

At the sight of Miss Crocodile, the prince quickly hid himself behind Baha. The prince pleaded:

"Do the right thing, do the right thing. Don't like me."

Miss Crocodile replied:

"No matter what you say, I will always love you."

Then she jumped down from the windowsill and ran after the prince. The prince ran for his life. The two of them ran circles around Baha's great tummy.

The king said:

"Get Miss Crocodile out of here. Get her out of here. Paragraph _three thousand six hundred and eighty-seven of the law states: Should Miss Crocodile pursue the red nosed prince, she is to be expelled._ Out with her, out with her!"

The king, then, started to haul away Miss Crocodile who grabbed the king by his beard. This caused the king to cry out in pain.

The Rose Princess let out:

"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

And then she fainted.

Then the prince began to haul away Miss Crocodile.

"What are doing? I love the king's son. Why are you doing this to me?"

The prince lost his temper and striking his chest cried:

"I am the uncle of the king's son. Naturally, I wish to help him. You look down on me? You look down on _Prince there once was a king who had three sons, then when the king was older he told his three sons to go on adventures, then the three sons returned from their adventures, then the king was very pleased and then this story came to an end?_

Miss Crocodile gave her body a twist and freed herself from the prince's grasp and then ran after the king's son powdering her face in her mirror as she went.

The king was crying:

"Pipi, get Miss Crocodile out of here right now! You're her boss. She only listens to you."

Pipi gave his hand a simple wave:

"Miss Crocodile, out!"

Miss Crocodile had no choice but to leave in tears. She didn't get far when she stopped and said to the prince:

"Red-nosed Prince, you don't know my feelings, you don't know my feelings."

Only then did she leave.

With that everyone sat and got down to the business of eating. Sisige ate seven hundred head of cattle, on thousand six hundred and fifty pounds of noodles and eight hundred and thirty-two pigs. When he was finished he sighed:

"I'm not full, not full."

The Rose Princess came to her senses at this point and replied:

"Yes, yes, yes, I...I....I am the most beautiful, beautiful, beautiful person in the world!"

Later the guests departed. Baha called for his accounts keeper Jishi. Baha asked Jishi:

"How much did we earn today?"

"I have the number right here. This is the total to this afternoon."

That number was:

23,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

And how much is that? It's a number with 41 places: ones, tens, hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions, tens of millions, hundreds of millions, thousands of millions....

Mr. Baha said to Jiji:

"We earn an enormous amount of money. We have many, many mines and railways and we've opened many, many factories."

Jiji thought to himself:

"This Baba is truly amazing!"

# Chapter Twelve

The Imperial Elementary School

A few days later, Baha sent Jiji off to the Imperial Elementary School to begin his studies. This school was extremely large. You would have to walk fifty li to get from the front door to the back door. It had twelve thousand classrooms and six thousand teachers. There were twelve students and with Jiji now enrolled there was a total of thirteen.

The principal was an old scholar. He greeted Jiji:

"Come on in! Let's get our classes underway. Jiji, do you have your servants with you?"

"Yes, I do."

"Are they all here?"

"They are."

The principal walked over to the entrance to take a look. Indeed, there were the two hundred servants that Jiji had brought with him. Wherever Jiji went these two hundred were always at this side. The principal said:

"Order your two hundred servants to take your class with you."

"What's the first class?"

The principal was startled:

"You aren't familiar with the school's regulations?"

"I'm not."

"Let me tell you then."

The principal held a copy of the Regulations of the Imperial Elementary:

"This school does not have a class schedule. Students study whatever they like."

_"This school's rules are really nice,_

_Study if you like, it's up to you_

_Or go off and play, no one minds"_

"Those are the rules."

Jiji laughed:

"That song is terrible!"

The principal blushed:

"I wrote that song. It's very good. Keep your mouth shut and hear me out. This school has six thousand teachers. If you want to take someone's class that's up to you. For example there are one hundred and thirty classes in arithmetic. If you want to take Mr. Wang's class or Mr. Zhang's that's entirely your decision. The fees though are different."

"What fees?"

"Fees are fees. Mr. Wang has his fees and Mr. Zhang has his. If you take Mr. Wang's class in arithmetic, that will cost you one hundred dollars. If you take Mr. Zhang's arithmetic class that's only one pearl. Tuition fees are paid directly to the teacher class by class."

Jiji was delighted:

"I love these rules. Let's get started. I want to start with arithmetic."

Jiji and his two hundred servants set out and walked to a large door over which there was a sign that read:

_"This is where you study arithmetic. Everyone is welcome."_

"There are so many arithmetic teachers" Jiji said as he entered the room.

This place was an enormous playground. Alongside the playground were five hundred classrooms and a hundred and thirty-four arithmetic teachers marching back and forth. One of these spotted Jiji and rushed over to him:

I am Mr. Yang. My arithmetic is first rate. Take my course, it's only ninety-six dollars.

Another ran up and pushed Mr. Yang aside:

"Don't take Yang's class, his arithmetic is no good. I'm Mr. Tong. My arithmetic is the best."

Mr. Tong broke into a song:

_Brother and sister eating their cakes_

_Two cakes and three cakes make seven cakes_

_Seven cakes and eight cakes are ten in all._

_Three people wearing ten hats._

_Seventy seconds in a minute._

_My arithmetic is really good._

_My fees are very fair._

_Each class only one pound of fine jewels._

Mr. Tong hadn't finished his song when another arithmetic teacher jumped in and declared:

_Mr. Tong's arithmetic isn't good at all._

_One minute is eighty seconds,_

_Mr. Tong's is only seventy_

_Don't you see it's such a mess!_

_My surname's Mao_

_And only Mao's arithmetic is up to snuff_

_Tuition is very fair_

_Each class just one egg tart._

_One egg tart, one egg tart._

Jiji said:

"I'm taking your class, Mr. Mao

Mr. Mao was very pleased. Scratching his head, he laughed:

"Ha. Some business! Okay, Jiji let's start the class."

When the class was over, Jiji gave Mr. Mao an egg tart. Jiji said:

"I want to rest now. I don't want to study."

"Don't go, Jiji! My arithmetic is a great product at a reasonable price. Absolutely the fairest price. However, you can't short change me like that."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean you gave me two tarts short."

"I gave you one egg tart. As you said, " _Each class just one egg tart_."

Mr. Mao burst out laughing. He scratched his head:

"I said----

_"Each class just one egg tart,_

_One egg tart, one egg tart."_

Isn't that three in total? So, Jiji gave Mr. Mao two more egg tarts and then went home.

From then on, Jiji took one class per day. The two hundred servants were with him from the start of the class to the finish. Jiji never had to do anything himself, his servants did everything for him. For example, composition was taken care of by them. As were all the arithmetic questions. Every day, Jiji ate well and had nothing to do so he began to grow fat.

Mr. Baha said:

"Very good, my son. You're getting fat and more handsome."

Jiji's classmates also said he was getting handsomer. A female classmate waddled up to him and said:

"Ji..Ji..Ji..Ji..You are so, so, so, handsome. Handsome!"

Ji asked her:

"Why don't you come to my place to play?"

She replied:

"I...I...I...have just finished my Chinese class."

That student was the Rose Princess. The Red-nosed Prince was also a classmate. The weather day was colder that day and the prince's nose had gone from red to purple.

Days went by. Each day for Jiji was the same -he went to class, came home and ate. When he saw Baha he would climb up his stomach to give him a kiss. Each day was the same with nothing much to say about it. There is one thing though I wish to mention which is that as Jiji grew older he also grew fatter. He grew fatter day by day and there was no knowing where this would stop. It was hard to say how heavy he was, but even three thousand people couldn't budge him. At first Jiji lived upstairs but this was no longer possible because there was a worry that he would bring the floor down. If you smiled at Jiji, Jiji wouldn't smile in return. His face was too fleshy to make a smile. If Jiji wanted to say something, his gums were squeezed right out of his mouth.

Mr. Baha was very pleased:

"Jiji is becoming very good looking. But it would be better if he were a little fatter."

After a while Jiji was much, much fatter. During the winter, Jiji's fingernails began to be covered in flesh.

He was also now doing better in his studies. He was doing well in sports as well. Jiji was good at running races which made Baha love him all the more:

"You're such a good son. Good at your studies, good at running. There's a sports meet today where you'll come in first for sure. You should practice every day."

Jiji replied, "I work out every day." But because this sentence was so long--five words in all--he was out of breath spitting it out all at once. Usually, when Jiji wanted to say something his servants did the talking for him so it was effortless. But this time while talking to his father he had no choice but to use his own mouth.

Baha said, "At the sports meet if you run well enough, the Rose Princess will be impressed and the two of you could become engaged."

Jiji was delighted to hear this and wanted to smile but he couldn't. He made a signal to his servants which meant:

"Come! I want to smile."

So, Servants One and Two stretched his mouth into a smile.

A little while later, he made another signal which meant:

"Come! I want to sing."

When Jiji wanted to sing, he didn't have to take any pains about it. Servant Three sang in his place.

_"Three sevens are forty-eight_

_Four sevens are fifty-eight_

_There's a chrysanthemum growing on my Baba's head_

_There are insects crawling around the floor._

_The Rose Princess ate ten pumpkins"_

Baha applauded:

"Jiji's singing is very good."

Baha and Jiji were very happy. They were even happier at the end of the school term because Jiji had placed first in his exams. Another cause for happiness was that the Imperial Elementary School was about to hold a sports meet. Baha said:

"Jiji will definitely place first in the races."

# Chapter Thirteen

Two Types of Races

The day for the meet had arrived.

The sports grounds were bustling with activity. There were many spectators. Baha had arrived very early. He was very happy, his face wreathed in smiles. The king was there. There were so many people there that some of them trampled on the king's beard which caused him to cry. Everyone was looking at the Rose Princess who was beautifully dressed. Behind her were two hundred servants who at the nod of her head would rush forward to apply cream to or powder her face.

Looking at herself in a mirror, she smiled:

"To...to...today is really fine. So, so, so much fun."

At that moment, Baobao arrived. Ever since that tiime at Baha's, Baobao had been applying powder and cream daily. When his face was dripping with sweat it became very pretty with its reds, blacks and whites. Baobao was wearing very attractive crystal shoes and a formal outfit made of iron which was completely wrinkle-free.

Spotting Baobao, Jiji shouted:

"Mr. Baobao!"

Jiji was so fat that Baobao didn't recognize him.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Jiji."

"I don't know anyone called Jiji."

"I'm the one the angel sent down from heaven."

Baobao was so happy his ears stood up on end.

"Ah. I've found you. I went to your place many times telling Mr. Fox that I was there to pay a visit to the young master of the house, but he would never let me in. I wrote to you as well but the letters were all returned. I was very hurt thinking that you had perhaps forgotten me."

"I could never forget you."

"In that case, you must repay my kindness."

While they were talking, an argument broke out in front of them. What had happened was that the Red-Nosed Prince had stolen an old gentleman's hat. The moment the old man complained, the prince punched and kicked him. The old man's chest was even bloodied.

"You steal someone's hat and then you go and strike them!

The prince said:

"Take this old fellow away!"

Three or four policemen seized the old man and hauled him before Baobao because Baobao was the official that looked after things like this. The police said to Baobao:

"This old man was quarrelling with the king. He struck the prince's fists and feet with his chest."

Baobao asked the old gentleman:

"Why did you strike the prince with your chest?"

"I did not strike the prince. The prince stole my hat and struck me..."

"I see. Well, since you struck the prince I must fine you."

"It was the prince that hit me. You ought to fine the prince, not me."

Baobao nodded:

"Indeed. Today the Rose Princess is very beautiful. And since the Rose Princess is very beautiful today, I must fine you."

The old man became very agitated:

"Didn't you hear me? I said I never hit the prince."

Baobao nodded again:

"Of course. Master Jiji has become fat, so I must fine you. Don't you know that today is the day of the Imperial Elementary School's sports meet? For this reason, I must lock you up, lock you up for a month. Next time, you mustn't hit people."

The policemen then took the old man away and locked him up.

Baobao said Jiji:

"Okay, that's taken care of. Let's return to what we were talking about. Master Jiji, you must repay my kindness."

Jiji answered:

"Yes, indeed."

Baobao bowed to Jiji:

"You are truly a fine person. The king is approaching. Go and speak to Mr. Baha and have him talk this over with the king. Mr. Baha could say to the king: 'Make Baobao a great lord.' That should do it."

"Okay"

Jiji spoke with Mr. Baha and the king immediately made Baobao a great lord. Again, Baobao bowed to Jiji:

"I am very grateful to you. Okay, I'm a great lord now. I want to be of service to you and Mr. Baha. The king listens to Mr. Baha. The king is also a good person. Master Jiji, you're a good friend to me, we..."

Baobao hadn't finished speaking when a physical education teacher came running up:

"Jiji, hurry up! The race is about to start."

Jiji said a quick "see you" to Baobao and was carried off to the sports ground by his servants.

This race was the five meter race. There were three participants--Jiji, a turtle and a snail.

One, two, three! Jiji, the turtle and the snail were off and running.

Baha was on the sidelines clapping:

"Jiji, Hurry and catch up. Hurry and catch up."

Baobao also called out:

"Run! Run! Master Jiji pour it on! Go for first place!"

Others were shouting:

"Come on turtle!"

The spectators began to clap and shout:

"Already at the one meter point. Come on, come on!"

"Run. Pour it on!"

The turtle stretched his neck out and crawled with all his might. His shell was glistening just as though he were sweating. Jiji put everything into it trying to get in front of the turtle. His mouth was hanging open and the folds beneath his chin swung back and forth. The snail was really trying hard and had stretched out its antennae as far as they would go.

The spectators crowded forward to watch this five-meter race. Everyone was shouting and clapping. After three and half hours, the shouting was piercing:

"Only one meter to go! One meter!"

"Come on snail!"

"Jiji, put more into it!"

"Turtle, don't ease up. Throw your heart into it!

"Run hard! Come in first!"

The Rose Princess cried:

"Ji...Ji...Ji...Ji...! Run! Run, run, run, run, run, run!"

The Rose Princess shouted herself breathless and passed out. Baobao ran off and got ten doctors who were able to bring her around. The moment she regained consciousness she said:

"Ji...Ji...Ji...faster, faster, faster!"

Baha and Baobao were clapping for all they were worth to urge Jiji on.

The king was laughing and shouting:

"Jiji will be first for sure. Jiji will be first for sure!"

The prince was sitting beside the king. When he clapped he accidently pulled the king's beard which made him cry. The prince said:

"You're such a cry-baby."

"My dignity has been insulted. Of course, I'm hurt!"

However, a moment later, the king wiped away his tears and resumed shouting:

"Jiji, at least come in second, at least second!"

They continued running for another two hours before they reached the finish line. The clapping grew even louder. There were so many watching and no one knew who had come in first.

"Who was it?"

Then someone brought out a sign with the results.

Five Meter Race

First Place: Turtle

Second Place: Snail

Third Place: Jiji

Race time: Five and half hours

**A New World Record!**

Everyone broke out into more applause and shouting.

The king announced:

"Jiji placed third. Not bad at all!"

Baha was so happy he went to give Jiji a hug but he couldn't because their stomachs were too big.

"Jiji, I love you even more. You came in third. Really very good."

Many people came over to congratulate Jiji. The Rose Princess said:

"Ji...Ji...came in...came in...came in third. Ji...ji...I...I...I...love! Love! Love...love...love!"

The Rose Princess passed out again. The doctors quickly revived her again and she picked up where she left off:

"Love, love, love, love! Love you!"

Jjji replied:

"You are so beautiful. Even Miss Crocodile can't compare with you."

Mr. Baha said:

"You and the Rose Princess should get engaged."

Everyone shouted:

"Congratulations! Congratulations. Jiji and The Rose Princess are engaged."

Baobao said:

"In my capacity as Great Lord, I wish to congratulate Master Jiji and the Rose Princess on their engagement."

The king tapped Jiji on the shoulder:

"You are a true son-in-law of mine. You're handsome and fat. You do well at your studies, you can run very well and you are a wealthy millionaire."

The Rose Princess's face broke into a smile. As a rule she was always very reserved and wore a rather severe expression. But now she was beaming:

"I...I...I...I...am truly hap...hap...hap...happy. HAP...PY!"

The Red-Nosed Prince, however, began to cry:

"Everyone is loved but me. No one loves me."

"Red-Nosed Prince, I love you."

Who spoke? Everyone turned to see--It was Miss Crocodile.

The prince cried:

"I don't need your love. I don't need it."

With this he was off with Miss Crocodile in hot pursuit. And as she ran she powdered her face;

"It's as clear as one, two three--I love you."

The prince wailed as he ran:

"I don't care if it's three, two, one, there's no way you can love me."

"Even if it's two, one, three, I must have you!"

The king cried:

"Then I'm done for!"

The faster the prince ran, the harder Miss Crocodile pursued him. The crowd began to clap and shout:

"Faster. Let's see who can come in first!"

"Red-Nosed Prince, Miss Crocodile said. "Think about it. No matter how fast you run, I will catch you. Why not save yourself the trouble and just love me?"

The prince panted:

"This is a terrible situation. Okay, I'll make a deal with you: if you can catch me, I'll marry you."

Miss Crocodile was very pleased with this and ran all the harder. The prince was running out of steam and couldn't go much longer.

"Faster, faster!" shouted the crowd.

Miss Crocodile was now just two paces behind the prince. She put all she had into it and caught up to the prince:

"Now what do you say? Do you admit defeat?"

"There's no way out. I'm a goner."

Pipi offered his encouragement:

"Get engaged to Miss Crocodile! She's actually from a very high-class family. The match is perfect!"

Everyone clapped and shouted:

"Today's been a wonderful day--we held a sports meet and four people got engaged."

Baha was very happy. His heavy mouth hung open in a constant smile. But when he and Jiji got home, Jishi was in a panic:

"Mr. Baha, terrible news! Mr. Sisige has been killed. Someone has killed him."

Baha was alarmed:

"What! Did they catch the murderer? How come the monster hasn't been sent out to get him?"

"The monster did catch some and ate them but the others escaped. This is awful! But, don't worry, there are other Sisiges. The Gurgle Works is still running under the management of Sisige Number Three."

A few days later, Baha and a few friends held a memorial service for Sisiges Numbers One and Two. Jiji was also present and he gave a speech. Of course, the speech was given by his servants. At the end of the speech, Jiji made a gesture to his servants which meant:

"I wish to cry."

The servants then stretched his face to allow Jiji to cry. Everyone else began to cry too. This went on for a while and then Baha commanded: "One, Two, Three! No more grieving!" So, everyone wiped their eyes and went home.

When the New Year arrived, the prince and Miss Crocodile got married. Baha and Jiji went to the reception. Once she was married, Miss Crocodile was very happy, but the prince was not so happy. Miss Crocodile was the manager of Pipi's business and was very rich. The prince wasn't happy until Miss Crocodile gave him half of her money.

Once the winter break was over, classes began again at the Imperial Elementary School. As before, Jiji took one class per day. It was at this time that Little Lin wrote his letter to Big Lin. However, Big Lin never received Little Lin's letter.

# Chapter Fourteen

A Misfortune

Baha often thought about Sisige which made him very sad. Sisige had been killed. Perhaps one day someone would kill Baha. This made Baha a little afraid. He said to Jiji:

"This is a terrible thing when you think about it. Maybe someone will kill me. If someone were to throw an iron ball at me, I'm done for."

"Baba, no one will kill you. Everyone loves you."

"Sisige and I are both good people. Just like Sisige I love to eat eggs. These eggs were originally children. I have the bedbugs bite anyone who disobeys me, or I get the monster to eat them. These are things I must do. It's a rule that once the children are transformed into eggs that we must eat them. There's nothing wrong with that. And yet someone killed Sisige."

Baha began to cry.

It was a fact that the eggs that Baha and Sisige ate were originally children.

Jiji said to Baha:

"Baba, don't be afraid. There are people who can protect you."

So, Baha sent for the monster:

"Protect me. Come and live with me in my home."

"Sure"

The monster moved into Baha's home.

But that evening, an awful thing happened. That sick bedbug had not been doing so well lately. And that evening, his sickness became even more serious. Baha brought in the world's best doctors. But the doctors only shook their heads:

"There is no hope for him. He's going to die."

That night at eleven o'clock, the bedbug did indeed die.

Baha sighed:

"That bedbug was a favourite of mine. I am truly devastated. I shall hold a memorial for him tomorrow."

Baha felt unwell. He gave an order to Jishi:

"Tomorrow we will be holding a memorial for that bedbug. Get everything ready. Right now, I want to sleep."

Jishi ordered everyone to prepare for the memorial. Everyone knew that if a bedbug died there would a memorial. Even the cooks in the kitchen knew this. A young cook said:

"There's to be a memorial for a bedbug tomorrow."

An old cook replied:

"Baha only cares for his bedbugs. If one dies, then there's a memorial service. But us? Alive or dead, it's all the same to Baha. He never gives us a thought."

As the old cook spoke, he was caring a plate of raw eggs and was placing them beside a pot when he stumbled on something that almost caused him to fall. It was an iron ball.

"Who put that here?"

The old cook kicked it aside. One of the mess cooks sighed:

"I wish I were a bedbug. Bedbugs have it good!"

The old cook went on as before:

"When a bedbug dies, he gets a memorial. Pei!"

In his anger, the old cook slammed the plate of eggs onto the table causing one of them to roll off.

Oh No! An egg was broken!

When the egg rolled over the table it struck the iron ball. The moment it did that it turned into a person. Then that person picked up the iron ball and threw at the other eggs in the plate which all turned into children--some boys, some girls. There were twelve of them in all.

The cooks were terrified and started to run but they were stopped by the twelve who said to them:

"Tell us where to find Baha?"

The cooks were so frightened they could hardly speak.

"Tells us now! Where is Baha?"

The old cook stammered:

"Baha..is probably..I think..asleep."

"Take us to him."

"Who are you?" the young cook bravely asked. Are you friends of Baha or enemies?"

"We've been oppressed by Baha for ages. Now he's getting ready to eat us. What do you think--friends or enemies?"

The cooks now understood:

"Okay. Come with us. We'll lead the way."

The twelve carrying the iron ball were led by the cooks to Baha's bedroom. They saw Baha's stomach was a high as a mountain and that he was covered in a thick blanket made of bills. As they entered Baha's room, Baha woke up. Seeing the twelve of them rush in with the iron ball, he cried:

"This is not good. Help!"

The twelve said to Baha:

"Do you recognize us? We slaved for you and were about to be eaten by you. You deserve death, you dog!"

"That's the rule. Baha cried. "Why do wish to scold me?"

"We have many brothers. Where are you keeping them? Out with it!"

"They're fine! They're all at work. It's just the twelve of you--I'm deeply sorry. In a moment of carelessness, I turned you all into eggs..."

"You are lying! Out with it! Tell us!"

Baha cried out:

"Help me! Monster come quickly."

Suddenly the ground shook and that fearsome monster rushed in. Hearing the approach of the monster, the twelve hurled the iron ball at Baha's head. Then at the count of three the twelve of them all ran off in different directions. The monster ran after them and grabbed the five slowest of the twelve and ate them. The others got away. Several cooks who were not able to get out of the way were trampled to death by the monster.

Everyone was shocked and rushed to have a look at Baha. Jiji knew that Baha had been struck and wanted to run over to see him but he was so weak he couldn't move. Fortunately, the monster was able to take him on his back.

Baha was not yet dead, but he was seriously wounded.

There were five thousand eminent doctors at his bedside attending to him. The doctors said:

"He's in danger. It's bad."

The doctors used a bowl of flour to make a paste to cover Baha's wound. On top of this they placed a sheet of paper on which was written:

" _The flow of blood will stop_

_If not, the patient will die,_

_If he doesn't die, then he will live."_

Jiji asked the doctors:

"Will Baba get better?"

One doctor who was the best in the country and one hundred and twenty-five years old replied:

"Your father's sickness will be cured for certain. Whether your father lives or dies, his sickness will be cured. Don't worry."

A while later, the king brought the Red-Nosed Prince, Miss Crocodile and the Rose Princess to see Baha. After them came the Great Lord Baobao and later still Pipi.

Baha said to Jiji:

"I'm going to die. When I'm dead, you and The Rose Princess must get married right away. I have a Glass Palace at the seaside. This is where I was married, and you should be married there too. This is the rule. After I'm dead, you and The Rose Princess must take the train to the Glass Palace. I leave you all my property. You are my son and should become a man like me. The king is my good friend and he will trust you. The monster will obey you. Baobao is your good friend and is now a great lord so he will also be of help to you. Jiji, remember, you are my son and you must become a man just like me."

The moment he was finished speaking, Baha died.

Jiji immediately motioned to his servants:

"I wish to cry."

The servants pried Jiji's mouth open and Jiji cried very hard.

The one hundred and twenty-five-year-old doctor clapped and said:

"Very good, very good. Mr. Baha's illness has been cured. As I said, his illness would be definitely cured."

The Rose Princess replied:

"Yes...yes...yes. We...we...we.. will get...get...get..."

The Rose Princess then passed out.

Baobao said to Jiji:

"Very good. Jiji you'll be getting married. Congratulations. Congratulations. Jiji, you are now the wealthiest millionaire in the entire world."

# Chapter Fifteen

The Train Engineer

Jishi had Baha buried and held a funeral service for him. He also looked after the preparations for the wedding of Jiji and the Rose Princess. These things kept him busy for half a year. The king and Lord Baobao often come over to help out.

Once all the preparations were done, Jiji and the Rose Princess went to the railway station to board the train that would take them to the seaside Glass Palace where they would be married. The king also went with them as did the prince and Miss Crocodile. The monster went along as well for protection. In addition, there were two thousand servants and eight hundred cooks. Jishi had things at home he had to look after so he was not able to go. The prince and Baobao were also not able to go.

At the railway station there were hundreds there to see them off including Baobao, Pipi, and the prince. It was a lively scene.

Lord Baobao said:

"You've got to be careful on this trip, there are many poor people now. I wish you a safe journey,"

The king said:

"With the monster along, we have nothing to worry about."

Lord Baobao patted Jiji on the shoulder:

"Congratulations to you! I will be your friend forever."

"I'll never forget you," Jiji said.

The prince came over to speak with Jiji:

"I've helped you numerous times. You also mustn't forget _Prince There once was a king who had three sons, then when the king was older he told his three sons to go on adventures, then the three sons returned from their adventures, then the king was very pleased and then this story came to an end._

"I won't forget you." said Jiji as he boarded the train.

This was a private train. Apart from Jiji and the others there were no other passengers. Behind them trailed twenty cars that held all their luggage.

The locomotive hadn't been attached yet. It was on a siding and was being gradually brought up. The engineer poked his head out to get a look at things. A railway worker called out to him:

"Hello, Little Lin!"

"Hello, uncle!"

"Little Lin do you know what cargo you are carrying on this trip? There's an odd fat fellow on board."

"Right! So, I've heard. Haven't seen him with my own eyes though." Little Lin turned to the stoker and asked:

"Qiaoqiao, have you seen him?"

"No, I haven't." returned a young girl's voice. I've only heard that that fellow weighs at least eight hundred kilos."

As they were talking, the locomotive happened to pass slowly by Jiji's car. Jiji heard someone call out "Little Lin" which got him to thinking:

"Little Lin....Little Lin. That's a familiar name!"

Where had he met this "Little Lin"? But he couldn't remember.

Ever since he'd been the Little Master, Jiji had never had to use his brain. His thinking had always been done for him by others. Now, he found that remembering and thinking things was very hard.

"Little Lin...." Jiji found himself running the name around in his brain. He seemed to recall that he and this Little Lin had some sort of connection.

"But what was it?" Jiji thought. Still, nothing came to him.

After a while, Jiji began to snore. But he didn't stop mumbling:

"Little Lin.... Little Lin."

Pipi who was sitting next to Jiji heard this:

"What? How come you're mumbling about Little Lin?"

"You know this person?" Jiji asked Pipi.

Pipi cried:

"Yes, I do know this fellow. I do! He's a bad lot and he's been that way since he was little. He stole some of the products of The Gurgle Works and tried to sell them. He was tried by Baobao. People say that it was Little Lin and his group that killed Sisiges Numbers One and Two, but there wasn't any proof. Little Lin definitely had a hand in the harm done to your father."

Jiji went all weak the moment he heard mention of his father and Sisige. He said:

"An evil enemy for certain!"

As they were talking, they heard the prince's angry voice carried from the train platform.

"No way! No way!"

No one in the train car paid any attention. They assumed it was the prince stealing something. This was nothing out of the ordinary. But the sound grew louder and louder and the voice of the station master could also be heard.

"Don't argue, don't argue!" said the station master. If the prince says, "No way" then it's no way."

"Go and ask the king," a voice cried.

So, the station master ran to see the king. He told the king:

"It's like this. A famine has broken out at the seaside. People here have put together four cars of grain that they wish to send to them. They have asked if these four train cars could be added to the rear of the train. However, that's not possible because this train is already too heavy. The engineer said that four of the luggage cars could be detached and then fetched later by the next train. The prince says, "No way" so I've come to ask the king."

The king had no opinion in the matter.

"What can I say? The railway belongs to Jiji, the train is also his. How can I make that decision?"

The station master then had to ask Jiji if they could detach four of the luggage cars and come back and get the luggage later.

The engineer called out from the other side of the window:

"The seaside farmers are eating the bark they've scraped from the trees. Are you aware of that? We've got to get this grain to them right away."

Jiji was very puzzled by the sound of the engineer's voice:

"That voice is very familiar? Who is that?"

Of course, that engineer was none other than Little Lin. But Jiji couldn't remember that.

Just then the prince complained:

"What's the all the hurry about the grain! The luggage is important. Those last four cars contain the face cream, face powder and perfume of the Rose Princess. A delay is completely unacceptable."

The Rose Princess had been listening very closely. She was very offended:

"Ah Ya. My per...per...per...perfume! My face...face...face powder!...."

The Rose Princess passed out.

This was a disaster. Everyone was in a panic. Twenty doctors crowded around the Rose Princess and brought her around.

Jiji issued a command:

"Detaching the Rose Princess's makeup cars is prohibited."

The king turned to the station master and said:

"Detaching the Rose Princess's makeup cars is prohibited."

The station master said to Little Lin:

"Detaching the Rose Princess's makeup cars is prohibited."

Little Lin and Qiaoqiao approached the station master:

"Who issued that order?"

"I did. What of it?"

"Are we taking the grain?"

"That's none of your business!" The station master walked away.

"I ask you," Qiaoqiao said as she followed the station master. "Which is more important perfume and face powder or grain to relieve the famine?"

"What's that go to do with you? You're to obey the order and that's it! You do as you're told!"

Little Lin spoke up:

"In that case we are not going to do it. If you won't allow us to send the grain and force us to send on this garbage, we simply won't do it."

Qiaoqiao piped in. "We are not going to do it! We are going to send the grain to the people!"

Little Lin and Qiaoqiao returned to the locomotive and drove it out of the yard ignoring the private cars with their beautiful decorations.

The station master glared at Little Lin and Qiaoqiao.

"Humph! I will punish you for this! If you refuse --so what? -- I'll get others to do it!"

The station master issued an order for other locomotives to be brought up.

However, the other engineers agreed with Little Lin and none of them was willing to obey.

"Aiya! What's to be done?" The station master was very upset.

Pipi said:

"There's nothing to worry about. Master Jiji has lots of money. He only needs to spend a little money here and there and the problem's solved."

An announcement was put up at the station which said that whoever was willing to drive the train would receive a raise and fifty dollars in gold as a bonus.

But many days passed, and no one was willing to come forward.

Jiji was furious:

"These workers are disgusting! Order the monster to eat them!"

The prince immediately approved:

"This is a good idea. I'll go and wake the monster."

The monster was lying across two of the luggage cars and was snoring away.

Miss Crocodile pulled the prince aside:

"You fool! If all the workers are gobbled up, who will be left to work for us?"

"Then what do we do?"

Just at that moment, The Rose Princess passed out again. Everyone was hurrying around trying to revive her and to find someone to drive the train. It was complete chaos on the station platform.

The monster was disturbed from his sleep and rolled over causing the whole train to shake and tremble. He then went back to sleep again.

Pipi suddenly had an idea and went to wake the monster:

"Get up! Go and frighten those workers. Tell them, "If you are not willing to drive the train, I will eat you." Tell them to obey immediately and if they obey they will not only not be eaten but be given a bonus."

So, the monster yawned and got to his feet. He then went about shouting and roaring. Jiji and the others sat anxiously waiting.

Three hours later, the monster returned, his head hung low in disappointment.

"It's no use. I couldn't get any of them to come. Not a single one."

The station master's face was covered in sweat. He asked Jiji for instructions:

"Master Jiji, what do we do? If we don't unload the makeup cars and load the grain, then none of the workers will drive the train. Could you ask the Rose Princess....?

At the mention of her name, the Rose Princess complained:

"You are so dis....dis...dis...disrespectful to me!"

This frightened Jiji so much that he made a gesture to his servants to quickly kneel before the Rose Princess.

"No one would dare be disrespectful to you! Your luggage is sacred and can't be touched. No one would dare move it. You can relax. There's no need to pass out this time."

The Rose Princess thought this over and then replied:

"Okay. I agree. This time, I won't pass...pass...pass out!"

"Thank you, Princess!"

Although the princess had promised not to pass out, the problem remained unsolved. Pipi said:

"As I said earlier, Little Lin is not a good person. None of them are our people."

"We also have people on our side." Jiji thought to himself. He said:

"The monster is one of us."

When the monster heard this, he made a bow:

"Exactly. I am your most loyal slave."

Jiji then made a gesture to his servants which meant:

"Have the monster think of way of moving the train."

"I shall obey!" replied the monster.

The monster got right to work on driving the train. However, "driving the train" is a little inaccurate. The monster couldn't drive the train and there was no locomotive, but the monster did have brute force. He could push the train. So, he rolled up his sleeves and asked everyone to sit up properly. Then he went to the rear of the train and pushed with all his might.

The train shuddered for a moment and then began to move along the tracks.

"Very good, very good!" the prince happily announced. "The monster is perfect--he's reliable and he can drive the train."

When the monster heard the prince praising him like that, he pushed all the harder. After he had pushed the train ten kilometers[20], the monster ran to catch up with it and gave it another push. In this way, pushing and shoving he managed to push it a hundred and twenty kilometers.

Once the train reached the summit of a mountain, the monster gave it one more mighty push.

With that the train flew down the hill. There was no stopping it.

"Aya! So dangerous!" cried Miss Crocodile.

There wasn't a single worker on board, however, so no one had any idea how to apply the brakes. The monster didn't know either and as he stood by watching the train rushing down the hill he burst out laughing.

It was moving so fast that no one knew for certain whether the train was on the tracks or if it had been just tossed through the air.

And the ocean lay straight ahead.

At the seaside, there were all kinds of officials, gentlemen and policemen waiting to greet Jiji and the king. But seeing the train racing towards the sea they were in a great panic. There was nothing they could do but at the same time they didn't dare leave.

The train kept coming, flying along until it dropped right into the sea.

Jiji, the Rose Princess, the king, the Red-Nosed Prince, Miss Crocodile and all the others plunged into the sea.

The officials and the policemen stood on the dock in a stupor. They didn't know what they should do.

On the surface of the water many bubbles began to appear looking like so many assorted pearls.

# Chapter Sixteen

The Ocean

This was a deep-water port and it was at high tide. The officials and the gentlemen began to discuss what they must do.

The mayor of the seaside city was called Pingping who was the older brother of Lord Baobao. Pingping was a very learned official. He was the first to speak:

"The way I see it is this: The king and Master Jiji have fallen into the sea and if we don't save them that would be quite improper. Why is this? First, because the king is the king after all, and Master Jiji is Master Jiji. It is doubtful that the two of them are comfortable sitting at the bottom of the ocean. Secondly, the ocean, I'm afraid, isn't entirely clean, and the air not so very good. For that matter, there isn't any air there at all!

"Yes, yes." The other officials nodded.

"Therefore, I believe that we should give this some study. And what should we study? We should study this question: Is it not somewhat better that we ask the king and Master Jiji to come out of the ocean than to leave them there?"

However, this was a very complicated problem and many of the officials weren't clear what Mayor Pingping had just said.

So, Pingping had to repeat himself.

The other officials all nodded:

"Yes, yes."

Seeing they were all in agreement, Mayor Pingping waved his hand and made an announcement:

"Okay, so let's get down to studying this."

A big fellow with a great green beard, a Mr. Shang who was the head of the Commercial Bureau of the seaside town said:

"You're saying you want to dredge up the king?"

"Not dredge up. We wish to beg his majesty..."

The bureau chief interrupted Pingping:

"It doesn't matter whether you beg him or dredge him, you are going to have send someone down there and that is going to cost money."

"Of course, of course." Mayor Pingping quickly followed up. "That's the crux of the matter--who is going to put up this money?"

"Yes, who is going to put up the money?" the other officials chimed in glancing at one another.

One of the gentleman conferred for a moment with Mayor Pingping. The mayor then addressed the group:

"We have some news. There's a shipment of four cars of grain that has not yet been dispatched to the countryside. We could sell this grain."

"Sell it me!" said the Commercial Bureau Chief, patting himself on the chest. "Just so long as the price is good."

"Name your price. How much are you willing to spend?"

"I wish to speak with the mayor, "cried the Charity Bureau Chief. "That grain is famine relief. The peasants in the countryside have absolutely nothing to eat, they are waiting for our help...."

Mayor Pingping didn't wait for him to finish and waved him off:

"Not important, not important. As I see it, if someone has nothing to eat, that's not so serious. I, for example, have nothing to eat at the moment and will have to wait until lunch time. In the meantime, my food needs to be properly digested. The principle works the same for peasants. You can't say that you should eat at any old time. Convince them that this grain should be used to save his majesty. This is what we are going to do--we are going to sell it."

"That's no good!" The Charity Bureau Chief said in a loud voice. If you sell that grain and do nothing to help them, the peasants will revolt. Are you not afraid of that? I know I am."

Everyone grew silent. All eyes were on Mayor Pingping who ground his teeth and hemmed and hawed.

"Yi, Revolt!" The Mayor mumbled. "Who invented that nonsense?"

The Charity Bureau Chief suggested a way out, something he'd been mulling over for some time.

"How about this? Each of you should donate money-- some more, some less and then turn that money over to me and I'll settle this matter properly."

"Humph! You're always asking us for donations!" The Commercial Bureau Chief said.

The Charity Bureau Chief replied:

"Are you saying there is no advantage in that for you?"

"What advantage?"

"Ha! Don't you realize that if those donations are used to dredge up his majesty, the money won't be wasted. Once the king is brought up to the surface, won't he present you with a reward?"

Mayor Pingping nodded:

"That makes sense. Donations are the best solution."

But the Commercial Bureau Chief remained suspicious. Facing the gentlemen, he said:

"You should think this over carefully. Is spending money on bringing the king up a sensible investment?"

"That's true. Is it really a sensible investment?"

At that moment a head popped to the surface and shouted, "not a good investment" and then disappeared.

The people on the shore were shocked to see this. And then the head appeared a second time"

"Aya! It's the prince!" Someone cried.

It was indeed the Red-Nosed Prince and behind him was Miss Crocodile. The two of them were swimming towards the shore.

The officials and the gentlemen were falling all over themselves as they welcomed the prince and Miss Crocodile at the wharf.

"Your majesty, it's been such a long time!"

"Your majesty, how did you do down there? Are you still happy?"

"Your majesty, would it please the king to come ashore?"

The Red-Nosed Prince scolded them:

"Rubbish! What's the point of bringing the king up?"

Miss Crocodile glanced at herself in the mirror and wiped the water from her face:

"It's not important if the king comes ashore or not. There will always be someone who can carry on the line. Kings are not all that important. But, millionaires are another matter. You should get right to saving Jiji."

The Commercial Bureau Chief wormed his way to the front:

"What would Master Jiji be willing to put up as a reward?"

"A big reward, of course. Jiji is not short of money."

"Hmm, that's not so certain! I would definitely like to have a talk with Jiji on this. First, if we save him is he going to reward us? Second, how much is that reward going to be? After our talk, I would then want to think it over."

Mayor Pingping cut in:

"I'm afraid that's not workable. As I see it, it would be better if we talked on the shore, because on the shore there is something called air. This something is unavoidably scarce in the ocean. So for this reason, if we hold our talks in the ocean, it's possible that this will lead to an unhappy conclusion."

"What? Negotiate with Master Jiji on the shore?" Asked the Commercial Bureau Chief. "Rescuing him without first discussing the reward is not the smartest approach."

"Well, what is then?"

Miss Crocodile said:

"We could invite Jishi here to talk with us. Jishi is in charge of Jiji's household and could act as Jiji's representative."

"Very good. Send off a telegram to Jishi."

Mayor Pingping drafted the telegram. It read:

"Disaster. Ji. Ocean. Dredge. Hurry."

What did that mean? The full message was:

_"There's been a disaster. Master Jiji's train has plunged into the sea. Now we must dredge it up. Please come quickly."_

Telegrams are expensive. If the deal didn't work out well, there would be no point in wasting a lot of money on telegrams. So the simpler the better.

When Jishi received the telegram he answered right away:

_Gram. Too. Not. Please. Again._

Which meant:

_The telegram you sent was too brief, I couldn't understand it. Please add some details and resend._

Mayor Pingping read over the telegram for the longest time but only scratched his head in confusion. A number of learned gentlemen studied the telegram and consulted each word in their dictionaries. In the end they suggested:

"Perhaps Jishi should be asked to come here."

The Commercial Bureau Chief was very impatient with this:

"Forget Jishi! Jiji can wait a little longer at the bottom of the sea. We ought to first get those grain cars to the surface, they're worth a lot of money."

"That's going to mean spending a lot of money!" Mayor Pingping cried.

"I'll put up the money!" The Commercial Bureau Chief raised his hand. "If you invest, you get to reap the reward."

Miss Crocodile said:

"I'd like to buy some shares."

Several of the officials and gentlemen also wanted to buy shares so it didn't take long before the needed money was collected.

At the same time, many people began floating to the surface and a group of sailors set out in boats to save them and divers dove down into the sea.

Seeing this the Commercial Bureau Chief shouted:

"Don't bring them up, don't bring them up! It's more important to bring up the things we want. Look, come over here. I'll hire and direct you." But the sailors and the divers paid no attention. Jiji's servants and cooks and many others had already been saved.

But others had already drowned such as the king and The Rose Princess....

When Miss Crocodile learned that the Rose Princess was dead, she burst into tears:

"Ai, ai, the world's most beautiful person is no more. Now all that remains is the world's second most beautiful person."

Mayor Pingping asked:

"Who is the world's second most beautiful person?"

Miss Crocodile stopped her tears and stared at Mayor Pingping. She laughed:

"Aiyou, you idiot! She's right in front of you and you still need to ask!"

Suddenly they heard a piercing sound:

"Slow down! Where are you off to?"

Miss Crocodile had spotted the Red-Nosed Prince running away and was off in hot pursuit.

"Where are you going? At least say something!"

The prince continued running and answered from the corner of his mouth:

"I must hurry back to the capital. The king's throne can't remain vacant."

The officials all reverently bowed and didn't straighten up until the prince and Miss Crocodile were some distance away.

The Commercial Bureau Chief was running back and forth on the dock shouting and screaming. But the sailors and the divers continued their search.

Mayor Pingping asked:

"How come Master Jiji still hasn't come ashore. If you fellows see him down there, give him my respects and tell to come up--it's drier here"

However, the divers didn't find Jiji. Two days and nights later, the whereabouts of all those who had fallen into the sea were known, all except Jiji.

Later too, those finely decorated train cars were brought to the surface.

But there was no sign of Jiji.

At this point, the Red-Nosed Prince had become the king. The new king sent out people to search for Jiji. He also wanted to put up missing person posters done by himself personally. He got a sheet of paper for the purpose and was getting set to write "missing person." He wrote "missing" without any problem but he forgot how to write "person". Luckily Lord Baobao was sitting opposite him. The king asked:

"Baobao, how do you write "person"?

Baobao took up the brush and wrote "person" beside "missing". But because Lord Baobao was sitting on the other side of the table the word "person" was upside down.

The text of the poster was done by a poet:

_"Fat he is_

_And walks with a waddle_

_His double chin is five inches long_

_Whoever finds him_

_Earns ten thousand pearls."_

Many policemen and many adventurers went out in search of Jiji. But none of them learned where he'd gotten to.

So where, after all, had Jiji gone to?

# Chapter Seventeen

"I'm so hungry!"

The day the train plunged into the sea, Jiji crawled around in a state of confusion and somehow managed to crawl out one of the doors.

Slowly, Jiji's body rose to the surface. But just as he was to break the surface, he was struck by a great wave and his head was driven back under water. This happened over and over and Jiji floated further and further away.

Jiji made a gesture to his servants but this caused him to lose balance and forced him back under the water.

But Jiji wasn't afraid. He thought to himself.

"What have I got to fear? I have my money."

Baha had taught him this. Baha had said to Jiji:

"So long as you have money, you can handle any problem and have nothing to fear."

Also, the Chinese teachers at the Imperial Elementary School had often told Jiji stories about the advantages of being a millionaire. One of these stories called "Buying the Elixir of Immortality[21]" explained very clearly that even the Elixir of Immortality could be obtained with enough money.

What were these stories like? Let's have Jiji tell us. Okay?

That wasn't possible though. Jiji had heard those stories more than once but he couldn't remember even one. This wasn't because he hadn't memorized them but because he had no need of memorizing them himself. That was done by his servants. If someone wanted to hear him recite one, he only had to make a gesture to his servants:

"I wish to tell a story!"

The servants then would tell the story in a very lively and coherent manner. The following day the newspapers would report that Jiji was an excellent story teller. And the next day various gentlemen would invite Jiji to give a talk on the art of story telling.

But now----Jiji was in the ocean without a single servant at his side. Not a good situation.

Although, Jiji did not need to remember those stories himself, and although Jiji had forgotten the plots of those stories, they'd had a profound effect on him: After hearing those stories, Jiji had come to love money even more and wanted to have more and more of it.

Jiji continued to be tossed about by the waves. One moment he would bob to the surface, the next he'd be pushed under. He was drifting further and further away.

"Where am I going?" Jiji thought to himself.

Wherever he was going, Jiji had no say in the matter.

Fortunately, Jiji's clothing was full of pockets which were full of gold coins, diamonds and pearls. Wherever Jiji was going, he would be able to use these to buy things. He wouldn't have to worry about food and clothing. On this matter, Jiji was completely certain.

"It doesn't matter where I'm going" Jiji thought.

But just as he thought this, he suddenly felt a change in the sea as though there was a noise building. Jiji's ears were under water and he could hear a "hua hua" sound. It seemed that there was a great wave rolling towards him from a distance. The sound was getting louder and louder.

"Is an immortal[22] actually on his way?" Jiji thought. "Does the immortal wish to do business with me?"

Just then Jiji's head popped above the surface. As he looked ahead he saw an large black object rolling towards him like an avalanche.

It was a huge whale.

"What's that called? Jiji asked himself.

Jiji seemed to remember that in one class or another this thing had been mentioned. The teacher had even made it a subject for a test, a test on which Jiji had scored one hundred percent. Of course, his servants had answered the questions for him. Now Jiji simply couldn't recall the name of this animal.

It turned out that this whale was hungry. He'd been swimming all over the place when he suddenly spotted Jiji. He was delighted:

"What good luck! I'll eat that to tide me over."

So, he swam over to Jiji, opened his mouth wide and sucked in Jiji along with some sea water. He swallowed Jiji and expelled the sea water.

Then the whale swam on for who knew how many sea miles.

The whale wasn't very particular what he ate. Whenever he could, if spotted something he could eat, he would take it in sea water and all and then expel the sea water. Anything he couldn't expel--fish, shrimp, crabs, starfish, jellyfish, regardless of size went pell-mell into his stomach. He never chewed anything because his teeth were useless.

However, he had never eaten anything like Jiji before. It had an unusual taste and made him uncomfortable. But it was already in his stomach.

As the whale swam along, he thought to himself:

"What does that animal live off? How is that it tastes so strange?"

So, he continued to stroll along. But his stomach grew more and more uncomfortable. He was beginning to feel nauseous and wanted to throw up.

Jiji was still in the whale's stomach and hadn't even started to be digested.

"Where am I?" Jiji asked himself.

The only thing Jiji remembered was being pushed by a great wave and rolling into this strange place where everything was pitch black. Jiji wanted to crawl out but he always slid right back. Moreover, there was this very strong fishy smell.

Jiji could feel all kinds of things crawling all over him shouting and screaming:

"Let's get out of here. This guy stinks."

"Who are they talking about?" Jiji thought.

Suddenly there was a great shaking like an earthquake. Jiji was violently tossed about as were all the little animals with him.

Jiji wanted to call for his servants. But someone pushed and squeezed him, and he was thrown out of the whale's mouth on to a beach.

The whale had thrown up.

At first the whale had hoped to digest his food properly, so he was strolling along for all he was worth. Although he felt nauseous, the whale did not want to throw up something as good for him as Jiji.

"This morsel must have some nutritional value. I should keep it down."

But it was no use. He couldn't digest it and as he swam by an island his stomach gave a heave. After this he felt better and swam slowly away having thrown Jiji onto the island.

"What place is this?" Jiji thought.

Jiji had gone from pitch blackness into bright sunlight and couldn't open his eyes.

The air was very pleasant and there was no fishy smell. A flowery scent wafted by from time to time.

Jiji thought over the events of the day:

"How did I get here. Where are my two hundred servants? What happened today?"

But he couldn't remember.

He felt quite uncomfortable. His legs and arms hadn't any strength. Sweat was pouring off his face. His stomach was absolutely crying out. He closed his eyes. He seemed to see plate after plate of glistening chicken, fragrant smoked fish and all sorts of sweets, cakes...

Jiji suddenly remembered: This is what is called "hunger".

He muttered to himself:

"It seems that I've been hungry before at some point." But he couldn't recall when.

He could hear a buzzing sound, but he couldn't tell if this was something his ears were doing or whether it was some kind of insect. He opened his eyes wider and saw some little dots floating in the air. He wasn't sure if there really was something flying around or if it was his eyes.

He looked a little more carefully and discovered a type of insect something that his teacher had mentioned in class and even had made the subject of a test. But only his servants would remember what it was.

"Wei! He cried, "What are you called?"

But the insect paid no attention and flew over to a flower and wiggled inside.

"What's that about?" Jiji thought it very bizarre.

After a while the insect emerged and flew over Jiji's head and dropped some pollen on his face. The smell was very pleasant.

"Oh! I know now!"

Jiji suddenly remembered something. That type of insect could make something very tasty.

"But what is that called? Can they really make it?"

He was very confused. He didn't know if he had heard this in class or in a story. Perhaps he hadn't heard it at all. Maybe it was just a dream...

"Haya! I'm really want to eat something!"

Lowering his head, he saw that there many ants crawling on the ground. It seemed that he'd seen them before with their tiny waists and six legs. But he couldn't remember what they were called.

What were they up to moving things around. They looked really tasty. Jiji swallowed a mouthful of saliva. He asked them:

"Wei. Where are you from?"

"From Locust Tree Land." replied the ants as they hurried about.

"Locust Tree Land..." Jiji ran the name around in his mouth. It seemed that he heard of that place in a story. He shouted at them:

"Stop moving around. Stand still."

"What for?" An ant stood still.

"I wish to buy something from you to eat."

"What?" The ant didn't understand.

Jiji had no choice but explain things himself.

"I'm hungry. I need to find something to eat."

"Go look for it yourself." The ant replied and walked away.

"What? Have me look for it myself?" Jiji was confused. "What does that mean?"

A nearby ant told him:

"Go and find a job."

Jiji was very displeased:

"Don't you know who I am?"

Another ant gave Jiji a look and then walked away muttering:

"Who cares who you are. Everyone is the same"

Jiji turned his face away in disgust:

"I don't have to work."

A large ant approached. Looking up at Jiji he asked:

"How do you get by then?"

"I have others to look after me."

"A tiny ant came limping up. He was puzzled:

"You don't do anything. You just have other people do everything for you?"

"Of course."

"How can you enjoy a life of ease like that?"

"Because I have money."

The little ant didn't understand.

"Money? What's that?"

The big ant asked:

"Where does your money come from?"

"I earned it."

"How strange!" The big ant looked at all the other ants.

"And how did you earn it?"

Jiji didn't answer. He simply demanded:

"Enough talk. Quickly get me something to eat. I'll give you money. Suddenly there was that buzzing sound again. A little ant cried:

"Bees! Bees! Have you heard anything like this before?"

The bees flew closer.

"I was listening to what you were saying. Don't pay any attention to him and don't let him get into the nest. Treat him like a drone!"

The little ant laughed. As he was walking away he turned to address Jiji:

"You should try to make yourself useful to others."

"I can't." Jiji cried, angry that no one understood him.

But the ants and the bees paid no attention to him and got back to their work.

"The more he thought about it the more Jiji felt he'd been wronged. He cursed them:

"You little misers! I ask you for a little to eat and even that you refuse me. Quite unheard of! You're a bunch of losers, that I know."

The ants continued to ignore him. Some even laughed.

Jiji continued in a loud voice:

"Wei! Do you have any millionaires here? I wish to visit the home of one of your millionaires. Millionaires are very generous. They will look after me. They'll treat me to roast leg of lamb, roast chicken, even some cheese.... I will have anything I want!"

A bee buzzed:

"Humph! You think you can find a millionaire here? This isn't Millionaire Island."

"What?" Jiji quickly asked. "What did you say? What Millionaire Island?"

At that moment, an ant with a giant head walked past Jiji and said offhandedly:

"Millionaire Island is Millionaire Island. There's nothing but Millionaires there."

Jiji was beside himself with happiness.

"Where is it? Where is it?"

"A long way away."

"How do you get there? It must be a lot of fun there!"

"We have no idea if it's fun there. None of us have ever been."

Another little ant interrupted:

"But we've sent people there. If someone wants to go there, we send them."

A bee asked:

"That's right. Did the one we sent that time ever write to us?"

"No." the little ant replied. "We even told him: Once you're there, don't forget to write and tell us what it's like." But he never wrote."

The ant with the big head said:

"It must be that things are so good there that he forgot about us."

Jiji said:

"My good friends, take me to that place."

At that, some of the ants and bees put their heads together to confer. One of the bees asked Jiji:

"Do you really want to go to Millionaire Island?"

"Of course"

The bee then said:

"We have a way to get you there, but there's a condition. Are you okay with that?"

"Okay. What's the condition?"

"When you're there do a survey of what Millionaire Island produces. Make a note of the climate, what plants grow there and what flowers"

"Sure, sure."

"Once you've done your survey write us a letter and fill us in."

"No problem, no problem."

The little ant cut in:

"But don't fail to keep your promise. That person the last time made the same promise but never wrote to us."

"I'll keep my word, I promise." Jiji immediately answered.

The bee and the big-headed ant said that they had to talk this over with everyone else.

"If everyone agrees, we'll treat you to some honey and then see you on your way," the bee said and then flew away.

The big-headed ant said:

"If everyone agrees, we will look after you."

The bee and the ant went back to talk it over with their people. Then they returned with all sorts of things to eat. They said to Jiji:

"You have such a large appetite, it isn't easy for us to provide you with what you want. However, don't be too concerned about that, just eat your fill. We will very grateful so long as you keep your word and do what you've promised."

Jiji completely forgot his manners and ate until he was stuffed, eating up a third of all that the bees had stored up and a half of all that the ants had stored.

Jiji ate until he couldn't eat anymore. He let out a great belch, closed his eyes and prepared to take a little nap.

At that moment, the bees gathered together in a great swarm in the sky. The ants gathered together in great columns. The bees began to sing:

_Let the East Wind blow_

_Let the North Wind blow_

_Carry this fat fellow to Millionaire Island._

The song was sung many times and although the words remained the same the melody kept changing.

Jiji was fast asleep and had begun to snore.

The bees and the ants continued to sing and dance until a wind came up. The wind grew and grew until it carried Jiji into the air.

Jiji was blown by the wind across the ocean for many miles before he was dropped onto an island. The wind then stopped.

This was Millionaire Island.

# Chapter Eighteen

Millionaire Island

When the wind blew Jiji up into the air, he woke up and shivered. On and on he floated until he saw a very tiny island. On the island there were colourful things sparkling in the sunlight.

"So beautiful!" Jiji cried.

And just as he said that, he dropped down onto the island. He recognized it immediately:

"This is Millionaire Island, for sure."

The ground was covered in gold and silver coins. Scattered all about were glittering diamonds, shiny red rubies and brilliant green emeralds. Even under foot one found brownish coloured stones which on further inspection turned out to be amber.

There were three very finely dressed people sitting at the island's edge. These were clearly millionaires. One was splashing about in the water with some gold coins to pass the time. Another was throwing pearls into the sea to hear the sound they made as they hit the water. A third was playing around with a piece of jade about sixty pounds in weight. Jiji saw him fling it into the sea where it dropped with a great thunk.

Each ignored the other. Even Jiji with his great bulk seemed to be invisible.

Jiji walked on a little further where he spotted a number of the millionaires lying on a pile of pearls. They didn't make a move. Some were using large gold ingots as pillows. Others had their feet up on forks of red coral.

Jiji was extremely happy.

"Things are wonderful here, not so poor like on that last island."

Jiji felt that last island was ridiculous.

"Such misers. What Locust Land! And there was nothing good to eat. They want me to report to them what Millionaire Island produces. As if Millionaire Island would have them here nosing about!"

Jiji walked a few more paces and then sat down on a gold brick to rest. His eyes were dazzled.

"Who owns all these jewels and gold?"

Suddenly, he saw in front of him a great pile of dark jade. Embedded in the jade were four large characters made from diamonds. They read:

_This is all yours._

Jiji cried aloud:

"Wonderful! Wonderful! All of this is mine. I'm certainly not going to let any one else come here fishing around or take away any of my stuff."

He looked about him standing very proudly. He approached one of the reclining millionaires.

"Wei! Who are you and what are you doing using my gold ingot as your pillow."

He didn't move an inch and didn't make a sound.

"I'm speaking to you!"

Jiji waited but there was no movement. He felt there was something very wrong.

"What the...?"

He touched him. Haya! Frozen! He was dead!

He went and looked at the others. All the same!

Jiji was terrified and wanted to get away but then he thought about it and calmed down:

"If they're dead, then they can't steal any of my wealth."

However, the three millionaires who were sitting on the shore of the island were alive and....

"And throwing my money into the sea for the fun of it," Jiji turned around and walked toward the shore.

"Wei, you three! What do you think you're doing throwing other people's wealth into the sea?"

They ignored him. Only the one who was tossing the pearls lazily answered:

"There's nothing to do. I'm bored."

"Do you know whose money this is?"

"Whose?"

"It's all mine,"

"Okay." Said the millionaire in his lazy drawl. "Let's say it's all yours then."

Jiji asked:

"Aren't you a little envious. Wouldn't you like some?"

The pearl tossing millionaire looked Jiji over for a moment and then said very slowly:

"You've only just arrived, naturally you'd ask a question like that. I was just like you when I first got here claiming that all the wealth here was mine. I too was afraid other people would take it. Now, though I don't care at all. You say it's yours, then it's yours. Take it away."

"Haya! You sir are very generous!"

The pearl tossing millionaire continued:

"When I first arrived here, I got into arguments with the other two. Each of us said: "The wealth on this island is all mine." We wouldn't give in and fought among ourselves. We even wanted to find some place where we could sue one another. But we never found it. Later we stopped fighting and you could take whatever you wanted."

"Why was that" Jiji asked.

The peal tossing millionaire asked:

"Have you eaten today?"

Jiji replied:

"Not a meal. I did eat something but it wasn't very good."

The other replied listlessly:

"So you don't understand. Let me explain it you. This island's good side is very good. There's money here and all kinds of precious jewels. The people here are also good people--that's because they're all millionaires. But the island does have a shortcoming? Have you noticed what that is?"

"No. What's the shortcoming?"

"It's this: there's no one here to do things for us?"

"What?" Cried Jiji. "We have money. Surely we can just hire people to get them to work for us?"

"But on this island there are only millionaires and nothing else."

He paused for a moment and then the pearl tossing millionaire asked:

"Do you have any rations on you?"

"No, I haven't."

"Ai! There's nothing I want right now other than a little to eat. Even a little bowl of congee[23] would be okay."

The pearl tossing millionaire had nothing more to say. He just lay across his pile of pearls resting with his eyes half closed.

Jiji stood there staring for some time. He thought to himself:

"What a shameful thing to say! Is he really a millionaire?"

Gradually, though, Jiji began to realize that staying on this island was not so ideal.

When Jiji had drifted to Millionaire Island his stomach was full. For a while he'd not felt hungry. Now, however, he was unbearably thirsty. But he had no idea where he would find water to drink. He knew that somewhere in the world there was a person who could dig a very deep hole and from it draw water. But that person wasn't to be found there.

He seemed to remember that there was also a person in the world who could dig a ditch and bring water from somewhere. There was also tap water which it was said was produced by some sort of worker or other.

But these people were not around to serve him.

He went and looked at the millionaires. They were no longer throwing things. They were just lying on piles of coins and pearls.

"Ai! If only I could go somewhere and buy a cup of water."

It wasn't just thirst. After a while he began to think of food.

What's more, there was no comfortable place to make home. There were no houses, not even a cave. All he could do was stand out in the open exposed all day to the sun or the rain. On the whole island there wasn't a single proper chair. If he wanted to sit down, there were only gold ingots or gold bricks which were cold and hard.

So day after day Jiji stayed on Millionaire Island. The three millionaires who tossed jewels into the sea for fun were already dead of hunger. Jiji was all alone.

"All this wealth is now truly mine alone..."

Jiji's mind was a muddle. So he climbed onto a pile of money and never got up again.

The sun continued to cause the jewels covering the ground to glitter. The dark green sea waves lapped on the white shore and as it struck the rocks scattered in a myriad of droplets.

# Chapter Nineteen

What of Qiaoqiao and Little Lin?

And so what about Qiaoqiao and Little Lin? Where had they got to?

They were still working on the railway. One day, on their day off, a writer of children's stories came to interview them. The railway workers told them:

"They are in the library."

The moment the writer of children's stories entered the library, he spotted Qiaoqiao and Little Lin who were reading children's books:

"How are you, Qiaoqiao and Little Lin?"

The librarian wagged a finger at him. The writer of children's stories stuck out his tongue and asked in a softer voice:

"And the king? What happened to the king?"

Little Lin softly replied:

"Ha! That's all you're interested in--the king! Once upon a time there was a king..."

The writer of children's stories went red in the face:

"Who says I'm only interested in "once upon a time there was king"! I am just interested in you two. Really, what happened that day when you drove the locomotive away?"

"That's another story. You could write a whole book about it." Qiaoqiao said looking at Little Lin.

"Tell me what happened!"

"Let's not talk here. Other children are trying to read."

The writer of children's stories had to remain silent. But Qiaoqiao and Little Lin were so absorbed in their books they didn't want to leave. The writer of children's books found it boring just sitting there so he left the library to go look for the railway workers.

"My dear friends! The writer said. "Please tell me what happened to Little Lin and Qiaoqiao afterwards."

An old railway worker started into his story for the writer of children's stories. He spoke in great detail about the Red-Nosed Prince becoming king and how this new king put Little Lin and Qiaoqiao in jail...

"What? The writer of children's stories couldn't contain himself. "They were locked up in jail?"

That's right. That's what happened.

Why were they locked up?

Lord Baobao had explained it to them this way:

"The old king and The Rose Princess had drowned in the sea. Master Jiji had disappeared. If Little Lin and Qiaoqiao had been willing to drive the train that day none of this would have happened."

Also, many railway workers were arrested.

"Because they had been unwilling, just like Little Lin, to drive Master Jiji's train." The station master had said.

The Mayor of the seaside town had come forward as a witness proving that the king and The Rose Princess had in fact fallen into the sea and that after going into the ocean nothing more had been seen of Jiji.

Jiji's chief of staff, Jishi was also a witness stating that Baha had been killed and that Master Jiji after taking the train that day had never returned home.

Pipi and Miss Crocodile were also witnesses stating that Little Lin had never even since childhood believed in the king's laws.

There was an additional witness with a full green beard who was called Sisige Number Three. This witness stated that Sisige and Sisige Number Two had been killed by a number of children who were their employees.

The monster too was a witness. He stated that Qiaoqiao and Little Lin had wanted to overthrown the king.

Pipi made a statement:

"Little Lin and Qiaoqiao were born in the wild. When Little Lin was born, he was like a wild dog. He was found lying in a ravine by a good-hearted gentleman who brought him to the Gurgle Works where he was put to work. Neither Qiaoqiao nor Little Lin had actual homes. They only had a foster father, a certain Zhong Mai who was a miserable fellow who refused to obey the law. But Zhong Mai died years ago so we needn't go into that."

These witnesses jabbered away looking for a way to condemn Little Lin and Qiaoqiao for one crime or another.

"But we couldn't allow them to harm any of our people!" said the old story teller, indignantly, as he reached this point in his story. "Of course, we couldn't! None of us railway workers would allow that. There was no way we were giving up on Qiaoqiao and Little Lin. Nor would we give up on the arrested railway workers."

And it wasn't just the railway workers. Other workers also joined in calling for the king to immediately release the railway workers.

"Release them now!"

The farmers from the seaside town were also very angry:

"The train drivers were trying to save our lives by bringing us grain. For this they are being tried. We are not going to let you off so easy!"

When they learned of this, farmers from other places added their voices:

"It's not right to harm good people. Release all the railway workers you are holding right away!"

Others stood up including teachers, writers, artists and scientists:

"Release Qiaoqiao, Little Lin and the arrested railway workers. They mustn't be found guilty of any crimes!"

Even a number of foreign organizations expressed their opposition. They sent a telegram to the Red-Nosed King which read:

"These improper arrests are shameful. Ordinary people around the world call for the immediate release of the arrested railway workers."

The Red-Nosed King and Lord Baobao were alarmed:

"What should we do?"

At first they thought of waiting a few more days, but the people's anger was growing and growing. So, Lord Baobao had no choice but to let all the railway workers go.

Pipi said to Lord Baobao in small voice:

"You see how terrible these people are! We haven't many good days left."

Sisige Number Three sighed:

"Ai! It won't be long before they throw us out. We won't be in charge much longer."

After a pause, Sisige Number Three added:

"Ai. Let's wait and see. At least for now we are still the bosses and can still make our money."

And so, Qiaoqiao, Little Lin and the railway workers were all set free.

And that's the story that the old railway worker told the writer of children's stories.

Zhang Tianyi 1932
Endnotes

[1] The Student Dictionary 学生字典 Xuesheng Zidian. There are in fact many dictionaries with names such as this. The most popular dictionary published of this type (showing mostly "head" characters and a limited number of compounds) is the 新华字典 Xinhua Zidian. That the peasant is literate and has such a dictionary is perhaps a little surprising but not impossible, of course.

[2] Forest To readers not familiar with Chinese, a clarification is in order. First, in selecting the word "lin" or "forest", the old peasant was using a mnemonic device peculiar to Chinese. The word for forest is both "shulin" and "lin" depending on usage. Words are identified by common compounds. In English, this is a little like saying, "I will call him Bob. Bob as in Bobwhite." Secondly, "Lin" is a common surname in Chinese; to translate it would create the wrong impression

[3] Must In order to render this at all clearly, I have had to substitute "must" for "want". Big Lin has just said that "they have to work." Zhang Tianyi has used "yao" here to express the sense of necessity. However, in Chinese the verb "yao" contains both the idea of "wanting" as well as the idea of necessity expressed by "must". When the giant speaks, he picks up on the idea of "want" from this verb. Hence there is a pun here that English cannot capture.

[4] Li 里 This is a measure of distance. Readers of Russian literature will be familiar with the verst which is a little over a kilometre. The li is about a half a kilometre or about 1/3 of a mile. The mile is expressed as the "English li" (英里). The kilometre is the "metric li" (公里).

[5] Pipi 皮皮 A name for a pet. Literally 皮 means "skin". However, it is not meant to sound unpleasant as the English "Skin Skin" would.

[6] Pingping 平平 This a common endearment. By itself it can mean "very ordinary" or "impartial". As with Pipi above it is more sound than meaning.

[7] Pound As with the li above, there is a particular Chinese measurement for weight called the jin. One jin is approximately half a kilogram. This is sometimes called the "market jin" (市斤). As in the case of the kilometre, the kilogram is the "metric jin" (公斤). In this case I translated the jin as "pound" since it fit the English expression "by the pound" better and is roughly the same weight.

[8] "I don't care a fig." The Chinese here is "It doesn't matter if three sevens make twenty-one" 不管三七二十一 which is a common expression for "not caring" or "paying no attention to". See footnote number 10

[9] Foot Chinese has the chi (尺) for the foot. A chi is quite close to the length of the English foot. Each chi is divided into 10 cun (寸), and ten chi make one zhang (丈). Although I did not translate the li above, I chose to do so with the chi and the cun.

[10] "I don't care figs or grapes." Here, Zhang Tianyi is playing with the expression above. This time he turns it into: "It doesn't matter if four sevens makes twenty-eight."

[11] Ai-yo As in many languages, Chinese possess a repertoire of sounds to indicate anger, surprise, disappointment, pain etc. I have usually given these in the original form as sounds (without tones). Some however, I have translated. There are for example sounds such as ai-ya (well-known to most English readers), a-ya, ai-you, ai-yo (to express pain or shock) and pai to express the sound of something being struck.

[12] This bit of cute doggerel rhymes in Chinese.

Bu pa xiu, 不怕羞

yige hong bitou, 一个红鼻头

yitiao niu, yitiao gou, yiguan you" 一条牛, 一条狗, 一罐油

Literally this reads:

Not shy

One red-tipped nose

One cow, one dog, a can of oil

This all rhymes in Chinese (each phrase ends with a sound like an English long "o")

[13] Wonton In Mandarin wonton are called "huntun". Wonton comes from the Cantonese though the characters and meanings are quite different. In Cantonese wonton is 云吞 or "cloud swallows" (In Mandarin "yuntun") as they resemble floating clouds. Wonton are usually served in soup. In Mandarin the characters for "huntun" are 馄饨 and suggest 混沌 or the original chaotic state of the universe.

[14] Stinking Doufu 豆腐 This word for bean curd has come into English from the Japanese toufu. Stinking Doufu (the name is apt) (臭豆腐) is a fermented doufu snack which is often served deep-fried at sidewalk stalls. (lubian tanzi 路边摊子). Although the request is meant to sound funny, it also illustrates a fact of Chinese culture: street food appeals to everyone regardless of social status.

[15] The Gurgle Works In Chinese the name of Sisige's factory is the 咕噜公司 or the "Gulu Company" where "gulu" is onomatopoeia for various sounds including the sound of hunger in the stomach or "gurgling". This name could be treated as just a silly sound or to suggest the hunger the children feel while working.

[16] Sixizi 四喜子"Four Happinesses" The four causes for happiness cited in a poem by Du Fu (杜甫) are: Rain after a prolonged drought, running into an old friend in a far-off town, the first night in the bridal chamber, placing first in the imperial examinations.

[17] Qiaoqiao 乔乔 This is an actual name and means "tall and stately". Generally, it is not good practice to translate names though almost all are meaningful.

[18] Chinese opera The actual term used is hualian (花脸). The hualian or "painted face" is a major category of stage performer in Beijing Opera. There are many types of hualian but the thing that unites them is that they are powerful figures and must sing in a voice that illustrates their power and station. Baobao on the other hand is something of a pathetic figure.

[19] Jiji 唧唧 This name given to Big Lin by his adoptive father Baha (which is the Chinese rendering of Bach) is an onomatopoeia for the sound of insects "chirping". In particular it can refer to the sound of cicadas. We learn later that Baha has a peculiar affection for bedbugs.

[20] ten kilometers The author switches to kilometer here from simply li. The kilometer is the metric li or gongli (公里).

[21] The Elixir of Immortality 仙人丹 One of the fascinating paradoxes of Daoism (道教) is that alongside acceptance of mortality there is also the search for immortality. The latter is inconsistent with the original teachings and is product of what we could call corrupted Daoism as Daoism moved from a philosophical teaching to a religion. The same process occurred with both Confucianism and Buddhism. That you could buy the elixir is of course outrageous and funny.

[22] immortal 仙人 Xianren could refer to one of the Eight Immortals or simply to any of a number of mythological figures who sometimes descend to the world of mortals to render assistance or fight evil. Unlike Western figures with a similar function they are not tiny fairy-like creatures but human-sized.

[23] congee 粥 The word congee seems to exist nowhere in the English language outside Chinese menus. The word is Tamil in origin (see the Wikipedia article on congee) and of course does not resemble the Chinese which is pronounced very much like the English name "Joe". (Zhou). Zhou is often a breakfast food served with peanuts, green onion and youtiao (油条) often called "Chinese doughnuts."
