 
# Destroying the Wrong

~*~

Copyright © 2013 by Evelyne Stone

Cover by MGbookcovers

Edited by Angi Black and Amanda L. Gordon

Smashwords Edition

Boy-crazy Alissa Sullivan has got it made – a supportive, loving family, a cause she believes in, and her new boyfriend. With her best friend Kat at her side, she was counting the days until the end of high school when they could go away to college together. The she met Scott, a man who wouldn't touch her but would turn her life upside-down.

Katherine Horne is perfectly content being in the background. All she wants is to graduate and get out of the town she's grown to loathe. She'd do anything to avoid confrontation but when she finds herself in increasingly humiliating situations, she realizes some things can't be ignored. Especially when it comes to protecting her best friend.

With their carefully planned futures suddenly unraveling, Kat and Alissa will come to realize one thing: fate has one plan for them... karma has another.

## Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

## Chapter 1

### Alissa

"How's the bullying story coming along?" Katherine asked as we headed toward the lunchroom. Neither of us had a car yet, so we were stuck eating on campus. Our high school sat in the middle of a residential neighborhood so all of the socially acceptable places to eat were too far away to walk.

"Good. I still don't know what angle I want to use, but hopefully going to the anti-bullying meetings will help." My journalism teacher asked us to write a story on something related to our high school experience. I hadn't experienced bullying first-hand, but walking down the halls at school, you couldn't help but see it.

"The group is called _Let's Stand Against Bullying_ , or L.S.A.B. I really wish I'd been there to help them come up with a better name." Katherine nodded as I kept talking and checking emails on my phone. "My teacher introduced me to a couple of the seniors in the group and holy hell is one of them hot!" I could feel the heat of my blush just thinking about him.

Katherine rolled her eyes. She knows I'm boy-crazy enough for both of us. Her radar isn't even on. She never noticed boys.

I lagged behind my best friend to make sure her outfit was straight because my fashion-victim-friend never pays attention. _I wish I had her butt, though_. I could never have a butt like that, no matter how many squats I did. I've heard people call her fat, but I chalked that up to everyone thinking only skinny is attractive. The only curves I have are thanks to expensive push up bras. My parents are thin, so I'd lost hope years ago that I would be any shape but straight. I do have great hair though, thank goodness.

"All right, so tell me about this hot guy," Katherine said with a sigh as we approached the food line.

"Well," I began, but stopped short when we reached the back of the line. He was standing right in front of me. Matt Ryan, senior, with dark eyes, dark curly hair and huge arms. He looked over his shoulder, saw me and turned around.

"Matt. Hi. I was telling my friend Katherine how excited I am to get involved with L.S.A.B." _Ugh, did that sound fake?_

"Great! Nice to meet you Katherine." His smile was gorgeous. "You're welcome to come to the meetings with Alissa if you'd like."

"Umm, okay, thanks," Katherine said, turning a slight shade of red. I was shocked to see her reaction to him. Maybe her radar wasn't as offline as I'd been led to believe.

"So, Matt, do you like what they're serving for lunch today?" _Okay, now that sounded ridiculous. If I could slap myself, I would._

Matt smiled and if I wasn't mistaken, suppressed a laugh. "I usually have lunch meetings but today my new friend Walt here," he nodded towards the pudgy guy standing in front of him, "asked if I would sit with him." Walt nodded but kept looking around the room like he was expecting something to happen. As if on cue, the lunchroom doors opened and the _Disorder Alliance_ walked in.

Kelly Martin, the head of the D.A. led the pack toward the front of the lunch line. Katherine and I had come up with the group's name because we're positive they all had disorders that make them act less human then the rest of us.

"Hey, Walt, you don't mind if we just go ahead of you, do you?" Kelly actually patted Walt's head like she would a dog.

Walt just stared down at the ground and I looked at Katherine who gave me the "don't you dare say anything" look. I looked at Matt because I really didn't know if I should say something or let it happen. Usually I just walked away because I was as intimidated by confrontations as Katherine, but I just met Walt and it was obvious he wasn't going to stand up for himself. Matt was already in her face before I could muster something to say.

Matt threw back his shoulders and pointed at Kelly when he said, "Actually, he does mind and so do the rest of us, so take your ass to the back of the line like everyone else." _He sounds really pissed_.

Kelly didn't skip a beat. "You used to be less of an asshole before you started standing up for losers like your stubby friend here in his thrift store clothes." Her body shook with anger.

"Fuck off, Kelly." Matt's arms and neck flexed.

No one in her little group said anything. They all just stood behind her, pissed off looks on their faces. Kelly broke eye contact and shoved herself behind Katherine, paying no attention to the other people in line. As we moved forward, I had to remind myself to breathe and keep my head forward. _Don't look at them._

I didn't know how I would handle being the focus of the D.A. I'd want to stand up for myself. I'd try to cleverly get out of the harassment, but I fear I'd start to cry and they'd know they got the best of me.

As we moved our way down the line of foods that look like they'd sat there all week, I saw Kelly push Katherine just enough to throw her off-balance. Katherine reached out to steady herself but her palm hit the corner of the tray and one of the bowls went flying into the air, hitting Kelly in the chest. I almost laughed but stopped myself soon enough to make it sound more like a gasp.

Kelly just stood there staring at Katherine like she was about to pounce.

"I'm so sorry. I slipped," Katherine said. Kelly lifted her hand like she was about to slap her but Katherine quickly bent down to pick up the bowl. "I slipped... I swear."

"She knows that." I stared at Kelly to make sure she didn't try anything, standing close enough to block her fist. Kelly glared at me, threw her food on the ground next to where Katherine had squatted to clean up the mess with a handful of napkins, and stomped toward the bathroom. A couple of the D.A.'s followed her but the others stayed in line, glaring over at us.

"Well, that went well," I laughed. I'd help Katherine up but my hands were shaking. I grabbed a clean tray for her and we finished getting our lunch. Matt and Walt followed us outside to an empty table where they sat across from Katherine and me.

"She's going to get back at you," Walt whispered to Katherine while looking down at his food.

"I'm sure she'll forget about it soon. At least I hope so," Katherine whispered back to him. She picked at her food and I could tell she was shaken up. I felt awful for her but didn't want to make her talk about it anymore in front of the guys.

Matt smiled at me between bites, but I couldn't smile back. I was always conscious of food sticking in my teeth.

I took a moment to look over his features, trying to keep from swooning. His skin was almost as dark as mine which surprised me since I spent as much time in the sun as possible. We have a pool at my house and even when it's cold, I'd sit out in the sun since I refuse to have pale, white skin just because I live in upstate New York.

We talked a while about classes but it stayed mostly silent. Not how I had imagined spending time with a hottie like Matt. I was too uncomfortable to even flirt.

~*~

Feeling like I needed to make a better impression, I made up an excuse to meet with Matt, just the two of us. I wanted to do an interview with him before attending some of the L.S.A.B. meetings, that way I could get an insider's view on bullying. My excuse worked and I was on my way to my favorite coffee shop near my house.

I dressed up a little more than usual, in a casual black dress with my favorite beige boots. Matt was tall and I thought if my heels brought me closer to his height, he'd be more comfortable. I got the idea from a magazine that said something about how guys respect a woman who looks them in the eye. I loved heels anyway.

Matt texted me a couple of minutes before my mom dropped me off asking what I wanted to drink. When I walked in, he was sitting at the small table in the back with two cups of coffee. _How sweet is he?_

"I'm sorry I'm late."

"No problem." His smile made me blush.

I took a sip of coffee so my mouth wouldn't get dry. I nearly moaned tasting the mixture of melted caramel and espresso. Being alone with him was making me much more nervous than I had anticipated. I pulled my pad and pen out of my oversized purse. I'd jotted down a couple of questions before I left but now looking at them again, I realized how stupid they were. I had no clue what to ask.

"What made you interested in getting involved with L.S.A.B.?" I glanced up at him a little surprised that he was asking me a question since I was the one that was supposed to be doing the interview.

"Bullying is an issue at pretty much every high school and I thought it would be a good topic for my journalism paper. Why did you join the group?"

"After I blew my knee out playing football, most of my friends stopped inviting me to parties and my priorities changed." His face showed his disappointment. "I started going to a gym instead of working-out with the guys at the school and I met some other kids. They workout in groups and I joined in. One Friday night, they told me about the L.S.A.B. meetings our school organized. I decided to check it out and have been going ever since." He shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

"So, why do you guys meet at the gym instead of at the school?" I moved my leg under the table and bumped up against his leg. One of my lame attempts of flirting. He smiled, which I hoped was a sign he didn't mind.

"The gym was built in an old warehouse, so there's a large room in the back. The new owner lets us continue to use it because the room isn't being used for anything else."

"Have most of the people who attend the meetings experienced bullying first-hand?" I started jotting down some notes.

"Yes. When we get a bunch of new people, we'll have volunteers go up to the front and tell their stories." He reached for his cup at the same time as me and our hands brushed against each other. We both smiled and I think he blushed a little.

"Did they welcome you even though you haven't experienced what they have?"

"What makes you think I haven't?" That question caught me off guard.

"Being a football player, I assumed you wouldn't have anyone messing with you." My stomach clenched. I didn't know if I'd just offended him.

"We all have our stories," he replied, sadness in his voice. "What about you?"

"I have my best friend, Katherine, and really don't hang out with anyone else, so I guess I've been lucky enough to stay out of the drama most groups seem to have." I shrugged. "I try to avoid confrontations. Always have."

"So you play it safe?"

"Yeah, I guess. When Kelly gave us a hard time the other day, I freaked out a little." _That was embarrassing to admit._

"Well, you didn't look like you were freaking out." He winked at me. My heart rate increased thinking he just flirted with me.

"Do you miss playing football? I'm sure you had girls hanging all over you." _Please say that wasn't the case._ I think I embarrassed him because he blushed.

"Yes, I miss playing football and no I didn't have girls hanging all over me. I had the same girlfriend for two years. She dumped me after I got hurt." He didn't show any sign of emotion over the mention of the break-up.

"Her loss, I guess." I flashed my best smile but moved my leg a little too fast and hit the table leg. My coffee cup fell over, spilling all over my paper.

Matt jumped to grab some napkins and we both laughed it off.

He asked me for my number while we were saying goodbye so I waited to text my mom for a ride until he was gone. I needed a couple of minutes to cool my hormones back down. The last thing I needed right now was my mom to notice how flushed I was. If she knew I was into a gorgeous guy like Matt, she would make me re-count every second of the conversation.

~*~

After our coffee date, Matt and I had talked or texted the entire week. He asked me out the next weekend and we went to the movies. He kissed me after the credits started rolling. It was my first "real" kiss. He kissed my cheek, then my nose and finally my lips. His lips were so soft. I opened my mouth, letting my tongue sweep over his. I didn't want him to stop. The theater ushers in charge of clean-up eventually asked us to leave, which was more than a little embarrassing.

It was perfect until we realized someone had taken a picture of us and posted it online. Everyone knew about the kiss before it was even over. The rumors at school ranged from a simple to kiss to us having sex in the back of the theatre. I just ignored the classmates who thought I should know what everyone was saying and concentrated on school.

Needing to get serious about the article Matt had sidetracked me from, I decided the next week to finally attend my first L.S.A.B. meeting. I had my mom stop by Katherine's place on my way. She lived with her mom in an apartment about ten minutes from my house. The spring weather was mild, so I decided to wear a sundress, hoping Katherine would approve of my choice. I was nervous and she always managed to calm me down somehow.

"I'll be right back." I left my mom in the car knowing I would only be a couple of minutes. Her front door was unlocked like always, so I let myself in.

"Kitty Kat, where you at?"

"In my bedroom!" She never seemed surprised when I just showed up unannounced. I walked around the hallway corner and stopped in her doorway. She looked me up and down, tilting her head to the side.

"Don't you think you're a little dressed up for a meeting that's held in a gym?"

"Says the girl already in her pajamas. What are you doing tonight?" I already knew the answer. She started writing fictional stories a few years ago and used it as her excuse to not do anything else except go to school.

"I just started writing a horror story. It's gonna be a good one!" She clapped her hands in excitement. "Why did you stop by? Aren't you going to be late?"

"I'm nervous. I need some best friend love."

Katherine rolled her eyes and pulled me in for a hug.

I glanced at her computer screen and saw a chat window up. "Are you still talking to that Robert guy?"

"Please don't judge me," she said, still holding on to me.

"You better not be telling him anything personal. You don't know who he is or if he's trying to reel you in so he can slash your throat," I warned.

"Yes, mommy."

I knew she wouldn't take my advice but I didn't like the fact that she would rather talk to some guy online versus someone she actually knows isn't a psycho.

"Thank you for almost approving my outfit. I should go. Tell Mom 'hello' for me when she gets home." She sat back down in front of her laptop as I left the room. "Love you," I yelled before shutting the front door.

"Love you, too!" I could hear her through her open bedroom window that faces the front parking lot.

It only took fifteen minutes to get to the gym and the parking lot was packed. The building had been empty for so long, I hadn't even bothered to notice it was being renovated. The gym had only been open a few months. Matt mentioned a back door would lead straight into the room where the meetings were held. I kissed my mom on the cheek and walked around the building.

The door was propped open and I could hear voices. The gravel was hard to walk on with my wedges. I kept my hand against the building in case I needed to steady myself.

"Having trouble walking tonight?" Matt laughed as he poked his head around the corner and watched me walk towards the door.

"Next time I'll wear sneakers."

He held out his hand and led me into the room. There were people standing all over the place in little groups. A pile of chairs was stacked up against a small stage along the far wall. A man jumped up on the stage and started clapping his hands.

"Excuse me, everyone! Please grab a seat and get settled."

"Looks like you made it just in time." He grabbed a couple chairs from the pile, unfolding them both. We picked a spot in the middle of the room while everyone else sat scattered around us.

The man up on stage was very unorganized. He didn't have any type of agenda and it was hard to keep up with what subjects he was talking about. I didn't hear much about bullying at all during the half hour talk. It was mostly about how he wanted to spread the word about the group and get more people involved.

After the man talked, Matt turned to me and faked a yawn. "I guess this was a bad meeting to give you your first impression. The guest speaker canceled last-minute and we didn't have a back-up."

I smiled at him politely. "Who's your main organizer?"

"The owner of the gym said he would start helping us get it together, but he's been concentrating on making the ownership transition. So as of now, we don't have anyone."

"Why isn't anyone at school helping out?" I asked.

"Unfortunately the school doesn't have the resources to help right now. We get to use this place for free and the guy that talked tonight is a parent volunteer." Matt stood up and excused himself. He walked around and talked to a couple of people. I was not the type to mingle, so I stood by the door and waited. He looked over at me a couple of times and put up his finger signaling "one more minute." I loved how he was paying attention to me, even if was just a small gesture.

~*~

Matt gave me a ride home from the meeting. I decided to bring him in to meet my parents so they felt comfortable letting him drive me home. I had never brought a boy home before because sometimes my mom doesn't know when to shut up.

They were sitting in the living room watching TV when we walked in the front door. My mom immediately jumped up to introduce herself.

"It's very nice to meet you, Matt. Come on in and sit down." She led him towards the couch, pulling him by his arm. "So, you played football? You're built like it!" His cheeks turned pink.

My dad stood up and reached his hand out. "Nice to meet you, Matt." They shook and everyone sat down. I didn't sit too close to him just in case they were paying attention.

"How was the meeting?" my mom asked.

"Good," Matt and I answered at the same time. I looked over at him and smiled.

"Let's not beat around the bush here. Matt, how old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"My daughter just turned seventeen, so I assume you can respect the laws of dating a minor?" It shouldn't have surprised me that my dad would get legal since he's a lawyer, but I thought he could at least be friendly first. I glared at my mom, hoping she would tell him to shut up but she didn't notice. She was the only one ever brave enough to put Dad in his place.

"Yes, sir." Matt's whole face was bright red now. It was almost funny watching them stare at each other.

"Good."

"Ummm, if we're done here, I think I'll show Matt the backyard." I bumped Matt's knee with mine in a subtle move of reassurance. He bumped mine back.

My mom flashed me a smile and we both stood up to go.

"It was very nice to meet you both," Matt said before leaving the room.

I took his hand and led him to the back patio. We sat down on the steps that lead out to the pool. The back light turned on, surprising me. I looked back at the door and my mom was standing there. She waved before going back into the living room. I just rolled my eyes. "Sorry about my parents."

"Your dad is scary," Matt said with a straight face. I started laughing and he soon joined me.

"What are your parents like?" I asked as he brushed his thumb over the back of my hand.

"Not like yours. My dad drinks a lot and my mom is super quiet. Not fun company to be around." He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it softly. I couldn't help but feel there was more about them he wasn't sharing. I was usually one to push for information, but I held back.

"So tell me the story about this house?" Matt asked.

"This was my grandma's house before she passed away. She had eight kids, but my mom was the only one that hung around. Everyone else moved to the west coast, so she inherited the house. We added the pool and spa in the backyard. I talked my mom into knocking down the wall of the bedroom that was next to mine so I could have a bigger room. My brother likes his smaller space upstairs because he thought it was cozy. He turned one of the rooms into a weight room. I don't think anyone's gone in there since he joined the Army last year."

"Do you miss your brother?" He squeezed my hand lightly.

"Yes, even though he was such a pain when Katherine would come over. He used to pull the heads off our dolls. When we would watch scary movies, he would put a mask on and jump out from behind the couch to make us scream. He comes home when he can. We always joked that we should just give Katherine his bedroom since she's over so often."

"She always looks so lonely. Is she an only child?" I like that Matt was interested in my best friend and not jealous of her like the last guy I tried to date.

"Yes she is and her mom works a lot. Her dad left a long time ago. Our moms worked together before we came along. They were pregnant at the same time and have been friends ever since, just like me and Katherine. I'm a couple months older than she is, though."

Matt put his arm around me, pulling me closer. I put my head on his shoulder. "Kids began making fun of her in middle school because she developed faster than most of the girls. I tried telling her they were just jealous. She got a "screw everyone" attitude and because I'm her best friend, I did, too."

I looked back at the window to make sure my mom wasn't watching before I leaned up and kissed him. Our lips stayed together as we breathed each other in. I sighed and opened my mouth, allowing his tongue to sweep against mine.

I walked him to his car and waited until he was out of sight before going inside. I kissed my parents goodnight and climbed the stairs up to my room. My cell phone started ringing before I reached the top step.

Matt's name on the screen made me smile. "Hello?"

"I missed you already so I figured we could just talk until we fell asleep." Sometimes Matt's more of a girl than I am, but I'm pretty sure I could be falling hard for him.

## Chapter 2

### Katherine

My phone rang, making me jump out of my writing trance. "Hello?"

"Hey, Kitty Kat. I'm running a little late. I ordered pizza for delivery and it should be there soon. You know where I keep my money." Mom had stuck me with the nickname when I was little and besides her, my best friend was the only other person allowed to refer to me as such. My stomach rumbled and I was suddenly glad she'd thought ahead to order dinner for us. I hadn't noticed in the thick of writing how starving I was.

"No problem. Thanks, Mom."

"See you soon. I have to go because my phone is about to die," she said.

I was trying to count out money from the very unorganized stash when the doorbell rang. I answered the door and was surprised to see Walt standing there with delivery boxes.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting to see you," I said, surprised.

"I just got this job. Cool, huh?"

"Sure. Let me just count out the rest of the money. Give me one sec," I left the door open and walked back into the kitchen.

Walt followed me in and put the boxes down on the kitchen table.

"Thank you. Just one more sec," I said.

"I'm in no hurry," he replied and sat down on one of the table chairs.

I didn't want to be rude and ask why he was making himself at home so I counted fast and hoped my mom would be home soon. He was giving me an "off" feeling and I wanted him out.

"So, are you from Rochester?" he asked.

"Yes, I was born here."

"Me too. Do you like it here?"

I hated answering questions about myself. "I don't mind it but I can't wait to move to the city someday. I need change."

Most people only associate New York with the city, which is full of life and always busy. But the state – the rest of it, anyway – is old-fashioned, full of trees and doesn't change. In the almost seventeen years I have lived here, Rochester in particular seems content to stay exactly the same. At least, that's my perspective.

"Are you going to come to a L.S.A.B. meeting sometime?" he asked.

"I'm not a joiner," I answered, handing him the cash. He put it in his pocket without counting. I wanted him to just get up and go. I wasn't asking him questions, which should have made it obvious I wasn't interested in learning more about him.

"I noticed that. I heard someone make fun of your last name when I was asking about you. Is that why you don't like anyone at school?" he asked.

"No one really notices me at school, which is how I prefer things," I replied.

The most attention I got was when someone decided to make fun of my last name. I couldn't go one day without someone giggling. It's pronounced "Horn-eh" not "Horn-ee." Katherine was a great first name that fit my old-fashioned sensibilities but my last name was more like a curse.

"Thank you for delivering my food," I said. I walked to the front door and opened it up for him to leave. He stood up and looked at me, pausing before he left.

"I'll see you around," he said, patting me on the shoulder. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was definitely something about him that made me uncomfortable. After shutting the door behind him, I did something we never did at our house and turned the deadbolt.

I went back to the kitchen to put the pizzas in the oven to try and preserve the heat and shuffled back to my room, trying to shake the sense of unease I had from Walt being in my house. When I saw the light from the computer and the last message on the screen before I'd gotten up to answer the door, I couldn't stop the smile that lifted my lips. My anxiety evaporated.

I'm not sure if it's possible to be in love with someone you've never met but if the movies are right when they describe being in love, then I was. I chatted with Robert Stratton on Facebook for over a month and really, it was the only thing I had to look forward to at the end of the day. My junior year of high school was anything but interesting. I suppose it was my fault since I didn't go to any school events and I didn't really care for local community activities either.

I didn't become "friends" with anyone other than Alissa and some of my favorite authors on Facebook, but there was something about Robert's smile that made me "confirm his request" without any hesitation. He'd been following a post from an author we both liked that I'd made a comment on and he noticed I was from the same area and sent me a quick greeting through the chat feature. The rest was history.

We chatted about our current reads or how my day was but he had never suggested that I send him dirty pictures or other perverted things I've heard people do on TV. Maybe it was naive of me, but I really felt like we connected.

I heard someone at the front door and felt a momentary stab of alarm until the muffled cursing and jangle of keys drifted to my room from outside through my open bedroom window. The door opened and then slammed closed. That meant my mom had a bad day at work. Her deep sigh heralded the countdown before she let loose on a new rant but I'd been waiting to eat until she got home, so listening to her would be bearable as long as I could chew while she did so. I shut my laptop to avoid any accidental viewings of who I'd been talking to.

Meeting my mom in the kitchen, I pulled the pizzas out of the oven and brought two paper plates down from a cabinet for us, loaded up my plate, and sat down at the table.

"What was with the locked door, honey?" Mom asked. Then, because she couldn't apparently contain it anymore, she threw up her hands. "My boss is making me work weekends for the rest of the month. He didn't give me a choice as usual. I guess it's too hard to ask if I already have plans! Oh, no! Just assume!" My mom got sarcastic when she was upset, much like Alissa did, which is probably why I handle my best friend the way I do when she's stressed out.

I listened and added in my opinion or empathy when needed. My mom was a nurse and had worked with the same physician since before I was born. The doctor never kept the same schedule at the hospital, so it should never surprise her when her schedule changed, but it did.

"Well, on the bright side, we didn't already have plans and now you don't have to hang out with your grumpy daughter," I said with a huge smile. What I really wanted to say was, "Oh, good, I can write all weekend."

I love my mom but since it had just been the two of us as far back as I could remember, we didn't have the typical mom and daughter fights. The arguments were generally about how she worried about my being such a loner or how she didn't want me growing up alone with lots of cats and no lifetime experiences.

I didn't want to tell her about Robert because I was afraid of the lecture she would give me about how you can't trust anyone online and you should never share personal information with anyone you don't know. I'd already heard it from Alissa.

My mom was still going on and on about how her boss was the prime example of how not to treat your employees. I half-listened while I ate my pizza and planned my schedule for the upcoming parent-less weekends in my head. I always knew what she was going to say before she said it, so there really was no reason for me to fully listen. My mom's social life was as nonexistent as mine.

"Not that I need to say this, but I hope you don't plan on getting into any trouble while I'm at work and you're here all alone." She couldn't sound any more sarcastic.

"Bad joke, Mom. What kind of trouble could I possibly get into with a laptop and an iPod? Alissa has a boyfriend now who is a senior and he's talked her into helping with some of the anti-bullying campaigns he works on, so she's been staying busy. I'll ask if she can keep me company but I doubt it." I tried not to sound jealous, but time with her boyfriend meant less time with me and I did miss the distraction of having her show up unannounced. She always entertained me and I love her.

"I'm glad you aren't one to get into trouble my Kitty Kat, but please try to at least have some fun while you're still young. Trust me, getting old is _not_ fun, so enjoy it while you still can." She gave me a little hug and walked the five steps into the living room so she could get her daily dose of the news. I sat at the table alone finishing my pizza wishing my mom was more traditional, for instance, eating with me at the table like Alissa's family did almost every night.

I cleaned up after myself and took one last look at the unused paper plate next to the pizza box before turning on my heel to go back to my room.

Crossing the threshold into my small room always relaxed me. I kept everything picked up and all my books were organized, covering one entire wall. I never wanted toys or games for presents, just books, so my room was void of anything else for decoration, unless you could count my dark red comforter.

I picked up my cell phone and saw a message from Alissa.

Alissa: It's Friday night so let me guess... you're sitting in your bedroom?

Katherine: You know me so well.

Alissa: You really should come to one of these meetings. Anti-Bullies are HOT.

Katherine: A meeting on a Friday night? You're losing your coolness.

Alissa: Ironic coming from you. Hanging with the boyfriend and getting some good coverage for my article... that makes me an awesome multi-tasker.

Katherine: No comment.

Alissa: That was a comment.

Katherine: Have fun!

Alissa: Whatever... see you tomorrow!

Spring break was coming up, which meant midterms were right around the corner. English class was my only consistent impressive grade. My lack of perfect grades and community involvement were two of the many reasons I would be going to a community college before university. I argued with myself on either doing homework or writing. Writing always won.

~*~

Alissa invited me to watch a movie at her house and I decided to walk over, taking advantage of the perfect spring weather. My skin appreciated time out in the sun, making the half-hour walk tolerable. The contrast between my apartment complex and her neighborhood always left me in awe. The feel of old houses reminded me of how I imagined London. Someday I would go there and write, while sitting at a corner coffee shop, and let the city inspire me.

I rang the doorbell and Alissa's mom answered the door.

"Katherine, so great to see you," she said, pulling me in for a hug. "Come on in. Alissa and Matt are in the game room waiting for you."

"She didn't mention Matt was here."

Alissa's mom rolled her eyes at me, not needing to say anything.

The game room was the first room on the right. I waved at Alissa and Matt but followed her mom into the kitchen. "I'm going to grab some water before the movie." I never felt uncomfortable making myself at home.

"Sure, honey. Take whatever's in there." She walked over to the counter, pulling some microwave popcorn out of the cupboard. "How are things going?"

"Good, I guess."

"Are you doing okay with Alissa and Matt dating?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I just want to make sure you don't feel awkward, is all," she said.

"I like Matt," I replied, not wanting to tell her how jealous I actually was. I wasn't sure if I would ever have a boyfriend, especially one as good-looking as Matt.

"Okay." She looked unconvinced but she'd known me long enough that I didn't respond well to prying. "Well, enjoy the movie." She handed me the bowl of popcorn before I walked towards the game room.

Alissa and Matt were cuddling under the blanket we always shared. I sat down on the recliner. "What movie are we watching?"

Alissa giggled and said, "We can't decide. You choose."

Matt kissed her on the nose and I sighed, reaching for the remote. The selection of movies on during the early afternoon were slim. I decided to stay away from a girly movie, not sure Matt could stomach them. _The Avengers_ had just started and I decided that was a good one.

"I could beat up the hulk," Matt said, causing Alissa to giggle.

"I'd like to see that happen," I replied, rolling my eyes at him.

Not much else was said during the remainder of the movie. I lost track of how many times I heard kissing noises. Matt did get up to bring us back drinks. I left after the movie ended, leaving them alone to do whatever it was they do when no one was around.

## Chapter 3

### Alissa

_Another L.S.A.B. meeting with my man_. Not exactly the ideal Friday night activity but I loved hanging out with Matt no matter what we did. His arms were definitely my favorite part of his body. He made me feel safe. I wanted to touch him all the time. I constantly held his hand, ran my fingers through his short black curls or kissed his soft lips.

Matt got in touch with some of the other high schools around Rochester to invite their anti-bullying groups to the meetings. I was truly impressed he was so successful in attracting so many people. Everyone in the room had a story, some inspirational and some that would make me cringe. Kids don't just punch, trip, or give each other wedgies anymore. Social media had taken bullying to a whole other level. Everyone had their phones out waiting for something to happen to someone so they could record it and post it online before anyone else, like it was some sort of twisted game. _Like that picture of us kissing at the movies. Ugh_.

The guest speaker spoke about emails and texting responsibilities. I wasn't really paying attention to anything other than Matt. The room was packed tonight and we were sitting in the back so I pulled out my phone and played games.

After the meeting, Matt jumped up, grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the front of the room. "Come on, I want you to meet someone," he said, practically vibrating in his enthusiasm.

"Really, because I was hoping we could just go make out in the car?" I pulled on his hand and pointed towards the exit.

He stopped and gave me a quick kiss. "Oh, I still plan on doing that."

He hurried us over to the guy that was speaking earlier. The guy waved and said, "Just a second." We waited until he was done talking to a group of girls that seemed excited to have his attention.

"Matt, great to see you." They shook hands.

"Scott, I would like to introduce you to Alissa Sullivan. Alissa, this is Scott Benson. He's the owner of the gym."

Scott hadn't looked so big when I'd been sitting a few rows back but standing next to him, I felt very small. He was taller than Matt and looked solid as a rock. "Nice to meet you, Scott." He shook my hand and I felt a jolt of electricity. He didn't look much older than us. His blue eyes were mesmerizing. I had to blink a couple of times to stop myself from staring.

"Nice to meet you, Alissa. Matt only mentions you in every other sentence." His smile was gorgeous.

"Hopefully nothing but good things." I blushed and Matt put his arm around me like the proud boyfriend. I leaned into him but couldn't take my eyes off Scott. His goatee matched his light brown hair. It was clipped and perfectly shaped so you could still see his defined jaw and pink lips. _Stop staring at his lips, Alissa! Great, now I'm probably blushing more!_

"Scott is going to start a self-defense program."

"Why do you need a self-defense program?" I gave Matt a funny look because he hadn't mentioned anything about this before tonight.

Instead, Scott answered. "Some of the guys want to learn how to fight and how to defend others. It's a physical and mental program I took part in a while ago."

"I thought the point of these meetings was to learn how to avoid getting into fights?"

Scott looked over to Matt to answer. "Of course we want to avoid fights but it's better to be prepared, just in case."

"That sounds interesting. Maybe I could tag along for some of the training?" I looked at Scott hoping he would give his permission.

"Sounds great. Come by next week. Anytime." He smiled at me but quickly looked back to Matt. "Matt, nice seeing you, man."

We both said goodbye and Scott walked away. Matt grabbed my hand and we left.

"What do you think about Scott?" Matt had a look on his face like a child would just after receiving a new toy.

"He seemed nice. What's his story?"

Matt smiled at me then kissed my cheek. "I don't know. He seems really dedicated to the L.S.A.B.'s cause. He's working with Mr. Bird, one of the parent volunteers, to organize topic ideas."

_I want to know everything about him. Wait, no I don't, I have a boyfriend!_ I shook my head as if that would clear my mind. "I'm sure you'll get to know him the more time you spend together."

~*~

As promised, Matt made out with me in his car before taking me home. He pulled to stop around the corner.

"Thank you for coming tonight," he said, leaning over to kiss my neck.

"Uh-huh." My body felt hot as he lightly moved his tongue around in circles.

He slowly kissed my neck, my jaw and finally my lips. "Your skin tastes so sweet."

I replied by running my hands through his hair and pressing my lips against his. My hips involuntarily bucked against the middle console and I could feel myself getting wet the harder I kissed him. I had to stop myself from crawling over onto his lap.

"Let's slow down," he said, out of breath. He sat back against the door, looking at me in a way I couldn't explain. His eyes were dark but his face looked hungry for more.

I knew he was right but I wanted him to touch me more. I grabbed his hand and placed it over my breast, moving closer and pulling his head with my other hand. Our lips crashed together and our tongues danced, making it almost painful.

I pulled back, knowing if I kept it up, I would be on top of him within seconds. "We need to slow down."

"Yes, we do. Not that I don't want to touch every inch of your body, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," he replied, adjusting himself with a wince and starting the car.

"You don't want to talk about this more?" I asked.

"Alissa, if we talk about it more, I'm afraid of what will happen. I need to get you home."

He gave me a chaste kiss after we said goodnight. I ran my fingers through my hair before opening the door. I hoped my skin didn't look flushed because I felt like I was on fire inside. I waved to my parents before going upstairs to hop in the shower and wash away any traces of my body's reaction. All I could think of was being back in his arms though so sleep didn't come easy.

~*~

Working out had never been my thing. In fact, anything that would make me sweat was not my thing. I'd never felt the need to exercise because I'd always been thin and didn't really care about being toned.

I told Matt I'd really like to start going to the gym so I could learn some good exercise techniques before attempting any type of self-defense training. What I left out was that I wanted to see Scott. There was something about him that wouldn't get out of my head, so I hoped that doing something I hated while being around him would make me hate him by association.

I borrowed workout clothes from my mom who exercised about as much as I did, so they were basically brand new. Matt picked me up and we drove to the gym after dinner. I didn't eat too much just in case. He held my hand during the drive and I tried to convince myself that I was the luckiest girl in the world. The moment he parked and we got out of the car, I had already forgotten how lucky I was because my excitement to be around Scott surfaced again, making me feel like a horrible person.

Matt stopped me in the hall after we signed in at the front desk. "Now don't take this the wrong way, but if you can't keep up with cardio today, you can stop at any time." He always looked so cute when he was worried about me.

I grabbed his hand to reassure him that I hadn't found that comment offensive. "I'll be lucky to last ten minutes. For the record, if you laugh, I won't give you a goodnight kiss." As we were walking, I started feeling slightly intimidated. Most of the machines looked like they could be used for torture.

The cardio machines had their own room. Scott was standing next to a treadmill, talking to a woman using some machine I had never seen before. As soon as Scott noticed us, he ended the conversation and she did not look happy we'd taken away his attention.

"Alissa, Matt, so great to see you again!" Scott looked excited to see us like we were old friends.

"You, too. Unless you plan on working me hard tonight, in which case I'm not happy to see you at all." I winked at him in case he thought I was serious. Matt jumped on the middle treadmill, which I was thankful for since I didn't want to sweat next to Scott.

"Matt, you take one of the other two because Alissa is in the middle today. How else do you expect me to gauge her abilities?" Matt didn't even hesitate moving machines. _Well, shit._

I jumped on the middle treadmill and stared at the screen in front of me. I hit the start button but nothing happened. I looked over to see what Matt was doing to his screen but he was punching buttons so fast, I couldn't copy him. Scott jumped on his machine but before he started on his settings, he leaned over to mine. "Don't worry, I won't start you out with anything too fast," he said. I stared at the screen trying to memorize which buttons he'd punched.

"When you're ready, just hit the start button. I'll increase the speed in a few minutes. Don't worry about the incline just yet."

I pushed the big, green button and began moving. I kept up with the slow walk just fine but Scott reached over and increased it after a couple of minutes. My calves began protesting and I mentally slapped myself for not stretching first. I looked over at Scott who was sprinting. He just smiled at me and I knew he had to be laughing in his head. I looked over at Matt and he gave me a thumbs-up. _Oh my lungs burn!_

Forty-five minutes later, I was internally begging for the torture to be over. I could only keep up a fast walk and was embarrassed by how out of shape I was. The guys got off their machines, so I powered mine off and followed them down the hall into an empty room with mats piled up against the wall. They started stretching so I followed suit, not knowing what else to do with myself.

"Not bad for your first day," Scott said.

"Thanks. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that I can't run since I avoid all physical activities." A quiet, nervous laugh escaped my lips.

"You'll get used to it the more you workout." He looked up at me when he said that and I felt my body heat up looking into his eyes. I looked over at Matt and thankfully he was concentrating on stretching and didn't see my reaction to Scott.

Scott's body moved so gracefully, I was in awe. He walked over to where I was sitting and grabbed my hands, standing me up. "Let me show you how to workout the cramps in your legs." _How did he know I had cramps in my legs? Oh, who cares?_

I could see sweat running down the side of his neck and I wanted to lick it off. I'd never had that urge before. For someone who had run as hard and fast as he had, he smelled amazing. He showed me how to stand on my tiptoes to stretch out my calves. He sat in front of me, pulling me down and we stretched out our legs, pushing our feet together. He reached out for my hands and we rocked back and forth, taking turns pulling each other forward into the other's space. Our eyes were locked together. I wanted to look away but couldn't.

Matt came up from behind me and started rubbing my shoulders, breaking me from my trance. "Sorry to hurry you up, but I've gotta get home."

I didn't want to leave but got up and grabbed my towel and water bottle. I had to take a huge sip of water to wet my dry tongue, my eyes on Scott the entire time. His eyes never broke away from mine, either.

"Thanks, man. I'll see you tomorrow, right?" Matt asked Scott who was still looking at me.

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow." Scott stood up and walked out the door without saying goodbye to me. _Did I do something wrong?_ I certainly hadn't accomplished my goal of getting Scott out of my head. I think I'd made it worse, actually. I looked around for him as we walked to the front door and was left disappointed I didn't get one last glance.

"You'll want to take tomorrow off from working out to let your body rest. Maybe the next day you can come back and try running a little longer," Matt said as he put his arm around me and walked me out to his car.

"Okay. Sure." I kissed his cheek feeling guilty about my thoughts straying to Scott.

## Chapter 4

### Katherine

Robert usually didn't chat with me on Friday nights, but tonight was an exception. He had taken this weekend off to study for midterms. I should have been doing the same, but I never passed up the chance at a good conversation, especially since they were few and far between now that Alissa spent most of her time with Matt.

Robert: Have you ever made out with a guy before?

This question was the most personal question he had asked me so far. I felt the need to answer bluntly like I had every other question, I just hoped he wasn't going to run the other way when he saw my answer.

Katherine: No.

Robert: A kiss?

Katherine: No.

Robert: Well maybe I can be your first.

No question mark could mean that was a statement versus a question. Now is not the time to over analyze, Katherine. Play it cool.

Katherine: Maybe.

Robert: Well maybe we should meet tomorrow at the mall? I want to finally see those blue eyes of yours in person.

I should have known the day would come when we decided to meet, but I hadn't thought it would come this soon. I felt like I knew everything about him but meeting in real life would change everything.

Robert: Don't over-analyze it, just say yes.

Katherine: Yes.

_Oh my gosh, I actually said yes._ My mom would be at work tomorrow so I could take the bus and be back before she ever knew I was gone.

Robert: Okay, we'll meet at the Park Mall, at noon, by the Pretzel Place.

Katherine: Okay. I'll be the one carrying the backpack with the books I mentioned I want you to read.

Robert: Then I'll be the other one carrying the backpack.

Katherine: Goodnight.

Robert: Goodnight.

"Ahhhhhhh!" I screamed. I texted Alissa.

Katherine: Meeting him tomorrow at Park Mall.

Alissa: Who is this?

Katherine: You know who this is.

Alissa: No, the Katherine I know would never meet a guy off the internet.

Katherine: It's in a public place.

Alissa: You better hide your phone in your bra just in case. Want me to come?

Katherine: Yes, but be invisible.

Alissa: What time?

Katherine: Noon.

Alissa: Okay, I'll be at your house at 11:30.

Katherine: Love you.

Alissa: Love you back.

I couldn't sleep that night. I picked my favorite outfit to wear but made a mental note to do some shopping soon. I'd never cared too much about how I looked but if I had a boyfriend, I should start caring. Checking my alarm for the tenth time, I stared at the ceiling and let Michael Bublé's crooning lull me to sleep.

~*~

My reflection didn't ease my nerves, despite the time and effort I'd taken to making myself look nice. The cut of my shirt showed my upper curves but the neckline was perfect, making me feel covered up. I kept thinking I should have let my hair grow past my shoulders but it was thin and I had to keep it layered to make it look like it had body. I didn't wear any other make-up except powder so my face didn't glow and then, of course, lip gloss because I couldn't stand dry lips.

_That's about as good as it's going to get._ I stuck my tongue out at my reflection.

Alissa walked in and rolled her eyes. She didn't bother saying anything about my appearance because she had tried many times before to convince me that eye makeup in particular would help accentuate my beauty. My reply was always the same, 'I don't want to accentuate anything.' Alissa was born with a natural beauty that was flawed only with a couple of pimples. She chose clothes that made her thin frame look amazing. Her black hair with natural curls flowed past her shoulders with a shine I'd always admired. I really should've let her help me but it was so much easier pretending I didn't want her help.

"Are you ready for this?" Alissa asked with entirely too much enthusiasm.

I looked in the mirror one last time. "Ugh, why couldn't I be taller?"

"Remember, being five-four is easier than being taller so that you can have a short or tall boyfriend and you won't look funny." She used her horrible fake English accent, which made me giggle.

"Easy for you to say since you're two inches taller. Those two extra inches would stretch out my fat."

"You're not fat, you're curvy and it's way better to be curvy than flat-chested with no butt. Now are you ready or do I need to point out more of my flaws to make you feel better about yourself?" She put her hands on her hips like mothers do when they are scolding their children.

"Yes, but please don't talk too much because I have to mentally be prepared and talking will just distract me." I wasn't just feeling nervous anymore, I sounded it, too.

"This isn't a test, Kitty Kat, it's you coming out of your box and even though I'm skeptical about this boy, I'm very proud of you for trying something new!" She patted my back.

"Even I can be full of surprises." I winked at her.

My mental checklist was done and we were out the door walking toward the bus stop.

Alissa kept quiet the whole ride to the mall. I felt so lucky to have a best friend that actually respected my idiosyncrasies. The nervous feeling I'd been able to keep hidden reared its ugly head as I stood in front of the main entrance to the mall. My skin started to burn and my mouth went instantly dry. Alissa didn't even need to look at me to know how I was feeling. She grabbed my hand and walked me through the double doors.

It was a Saturday, so the mall was packed. Holding Alissa's hand not only calmed me down but also ensured we stayed together while dodging bodies. Even though it was sunny outside, the mall always seemed dark inside. She stopped in front of the store directly across from the food court entrance.

"I can see the pretzel shop directly ahead. Make sure you grab a table in front of it so I never lose sight of you." Alissa sounded just like my mom, but I had never been more grateful. I was beginning to think this was a stupid idea and we should just go, but I caught sight of a backpack and my curiosity won. I looked at Alissa and smiled.

"Thank you. Wish me luck!" She gave me a thumbs-up as she walked into the store.

The boy wearing the backpack and the same blonde hair I had memorized was sitting with his back towards me. _Okay, Katherine, you can do this._ I was almost within touching distance of him when someone grabbed my arm and yanked me around to face them.

I was briefly blinded by a flash and once my eyes adjusted, I saw half the D.A. and their current boy toys. A couple of them had their phones out pointed at me. I'd stayed out of their way for years and they picked now to give me a hard time?

"Wow loser, I don't know what surprises me more, the fact that you're out in public or that you thought a boy would actually be interested in you?" D.A. number one screamed, attracting a crowd.

"You are so pathetic! No one could like you! I mean, have you looked in the mirror? Who would want to touch you?" D.A. number two said, getting some laughs.

"Wait, what?" That's all I could muster up to say because the situation had me confused. Looking around at the growing crowd, I turned around hoping the boy I thought was Robert hadn't left so I could escape and we could just pick another spot to study.

Then I was nose to nose with Kelly Martin. She stood in front of me with her arms crossed and a huge smile spread across her face.

"Look, Kelly, if this is about the food thing, I'll let you spill some on me and we can move on."

"Don't act stupid, fatty. I have all your secrets right here." She held up her hand containing computer paper and began reading. I just stood there in shock while my dislikes, my dreams, my fears were read out loud. Phones recorded and pictures captured my humiliation.

The room began spinning and I gasped for air. A large arm went around my waist, snapping me out of my haze. "I'll bet $50 that I bang this little virgin by spring break!" I was pulled into another set of arms. "No way dude, $100 says I bang her!" I slapped whoever he was and he let go. I tried to push my way through the crowd that cheered on the bets being thrown out. There were so many people and flashes kept blinding me.

Finally a security guard began yelling into a megaphone telling the crowd to break it up. I tried to follow the voice but arms kept coming around my waist and hands kept grabbing my butt. I screamed as loud as I could, "Just stop!" The security guard finally pushed through with Alissa right by his side. She ran up and hugged me. "Do not cry. Whatever you do, do not cry." She kept whispering it over and over into my ear as she dragged me toward the exit.

We rushed past stores and customers made their way towards the entrances to see what all the commotion was about. _Go back to shopping, people! Don't pay any attention to the loser over here!_

Once I got outside, Alissa led me to a bench and sat me down. I didn't know what to say. So many emotions ran through me and my mind couldn't decide which one to grab onto. Alissa knelt in front of me, looking straight into my eyes. "Talk to me. What the hell just happened?"

"I don't know." I was being honest. I told her what the D.A.'s had said and about the papers Kelly had been reading from. Then it clicked. "There is no Robert Stratton. It was them. They tricked me. I let them trick me. I'm so stupid! How did I not see this coming? How could I let them do this to me?" I didn't think I was screaming, but I wasn't quiet either.

The exit door opened and out poured Kelly with the other D.A.'s. I wanted to run, but I stayed there frozen hoping they wouldn't see me if I didn't move.

"Oh, look, there's the virgin."

"Hey virgin, I just sent out the video to everyone I know!" Kelly's voice sounded like someone running their fingernails down a chalkboard. "Just think of how many dates you'll get now!"

"Yeah, I almost feel sorry for you because you can't help how ugly you are! Cover Girl can only cover so much, right?" Everyone laughed.

The flood-gates opened and I did exactly what Alissa told me not to do. Tears poured out as I sat there, unable to move. "Oh, cry baby virgin! Oh, how sad!"

"You're such a loser!"

Alissa grabbed my arm and we walked away while they kept screaming at us throughout the parking lot. We jumped on a bus not even caring where it would take us. I just had to get out of there.

~*~

The bus drove off in the opposite direction from my house, but it didn't concern me. All I cared about was getting away from the mall. I concentrated on breathing to stop my body from shaking. My adrenaline always seemed to kick in full blast after being faced with stressful situations. All the good comebacks ran through my mind after the fact and I knew I would be thinking about what I should have done differently for days, if not weeks, to come. The only one that stood out right now was why the hell I'd gone in the first place.

"Instead of blaming yourself, you should be mad at those jerks," Alissa said in a very calm voice. I didn't even bother denying my thoughts because she knew me all too well.

_Calm down, Katherine._ Watching all the people we passed going on with their normal lives made me even more agitated. I wished I could share my pain and humiliation so I didn't feel like I was the only one experiencing it.

After I was able to stop my body from shaking, it dawned on me that we were still traveling in the opposite direction of my house. "We should get off at the next stop and figure out how to get home."

"We can just find the nearest coffee shop and I'll call my mom," Alissa said, still calm. I could feel her staring at me but I was too ashamed to look back at her. I just nodded.

We walked into a Mom-and-Pop coffee shop and I went directly to the bathroom. I splashed water on my face and dried off without looking in the mirror. I wasn't ready to face myself yet.

I felt my cell phone vibrate in my back pocket and fear was the first thing I felt. _Why can't everyone just leave me alone?_ It physically hurt to pull it out. I squinted at the screen through my burning eyes.

Mom: Just checking in.

Katherine: All is fine.

Mom: Glad I don't have to worry. Love you.

If she only knew what her stupid daughter did, I don't think she would ever leave me alone again. There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Occupied. Be right out." _Time to face the world again._

Alissa was sitting at a small table for two ending her phone call. "My mom is on her way."

"Did she get mad that we are nowhere close to the mall?"

"No, I told her I would fill her in later." Alissa had a relationship with her parents that I envied. They trusted her and she had managed not to lose that trust. They had always supported her as well as her older brother, even when he decided to join the Army. They all sat down together for Sunday dinner and shared stories about their week. I couldn't remember the last time my mom and I sat down for a full meal together.

I finally had the nerve to look up at Alissa. She gave me half a smile and I could tell she was trying to find the right words. Finally she said, "So, I guess we won't be double-dating any time soon unless you want me to hook you up with one of Matt's friends?" I let out a nervous laugh, "Um, no. I don't think so." She smiled and said, "You know, no one will even remember this in like a week, right?" She almost sounded convincing, but we both knew better. This stunt would follow me through the rest of my high school career.

Alissa's phone beeped after fifteen minutes of uncomfortable silence to let us know her mom was outside. I climbed into the back seat keeping my head down so her mom wouldn't see my broken expression.

"So, did you girls have fun?" Her mom always sounded happy.

"Oh, you know, just another drama-filled day in the lives of high schoolers!" Alissa tried to match her mom's happy tone but it came out really sarcastic.

Taking her cue not to ask any more questions, her mom turned up the radio and hummed to the music the rest of the ride back to my place.

"Thank you so much for the ride, Mrs. Sullivan. I really appreciate it and hope we didn't pull you away from anything important." I always tried to be polite even though she always told me to call her mom.

"You two pulled me away from my fictional book boyfriend but don't worry, he isn't going anywhere." Alissa got her boy craziness from her mom. I just smiled.

"Hey, Mom, I'm going to hang out here until Kitty Kat's mom gets home from work if that's okay?"

"Sure sweetheart, just text me when you're ready to come home. Oh, and thanks for texting me when you got to the mall safely," she said sarcastically because Alissa always forgot.

"Sorry," we both said in unison.

She just rolled her eyes. "Bye, ladies!" We both waved as she pulled away.

I felt better walking into my room until I saw my laptop. I stared at it and held myself back from throwing it out the window. Anger was setting in and I felt a panicky need to erase all things Robert Stratton.

"I'll make some coffee. You write down all the authors you follow so we can re-friend them on your new Facebook account." Alissa freaked me out sometimes the way she could read my mind.

A couple of minutes later, Alissa returned with two coffee cups and a half-eaten bag of chocolate kisses. I was still staring at my laptop scared to log in for fear of seeing some of the pictures taken of me at the mall. Alissa grabbed my laptop and sat down on the floor, motioning for me to sit down next to her. She opened it up and began reading off names of authors. I wrote them all down. After that she made some clicks, turned my laptop towards me and made me watch her click confirm to delete.

"Okay, time for a fresh start." I just nodded in agreement but felt the tears wanting to fall because despite the treachery it had ended up being, I would miss the fake guy who'd become a very real friend to me. That got me thinking. "Who do you think that was in those pictures?"

"Who cares? I always thought you could do so much better, but I didn't say anything." I rolled my eyes at her because I recalled her calling him a hottie at least once.

"I'm assuming we're going to use a fake name?" Alissa looked at me for confirmation.

"Yes, and it needs to be Kat Bing." I smiled thinking about my crush on Chandler Bing from the series _Friends_ that my mom loved to watch on DVD when her day had been extra awful.

Alissa snapped her head up and gave me a very intense look. "Ummm, how are you going to explain to your mom what happened? Did you even tell her you were talking to Robert?"

"No, I did not tell her and no, I am not going to tell her anything," I said before she had a chance to ask.

"Do you really think you should hide something like this from your mom? What happens if my mom talks to her about it?"

"Alissa, you better not tell your mom what happened! Do you have any idea what my mom would do to me if she found out?" I used my authoritative voice.

"Well, it's not like grounding you would teach you a lesson since you have no social life." She flashed me her huge sarcastic grin.

"Let's just tell them both that I got so stressed out about midterms, I led you to the wrong bus to get us home?" It sounded better in my head.

She rolled her eyes. "What if they see the pictures or videos online?"

"Unless they frequent our classmates' Facebook pictures, I highly doubt they will ever come across anything."

"Alright, but Kitty Kat, you better pray to the God of Luck."

"Oh, don't worry," I sigh, "I'll just add him to my list."

My text alert sounded, scaring us both. Alissa started laughing and said, "Ah, maybe that's him now!"

I looked down at the screen and opened a text from a number I didn't recognize. As I read it, I could feel my face turn red. Alissa grabbed my phone and read it out loud. "How about a date tomorrow night?" She texted back, reading it out loud to me before she sent it. "Who the hell is this and how did you get this number?" We both sat there staring at the phone waiting for a reply. One minute later the reply was a link to someone's Facebook page.

"Hand me your laptop." Alissa typed it in and seconds later went very pale.

"Do not show me. Just tell me how bad it is." I began to feel bile rising up into my throat.

"Well, let's just say the betting is over five hundred and your phone number is written across the top of a picture of you." She looked up at me, cringing.

"Do something! Take it down!" I started shouting out of panic.

"I can't take it down! The best I can do is report it."

"Can't we call them or something?"

"Call who?"

"Facebook, Alissa, or someone! What the hell?"

As if on cue, my text alert went off again.

"It's never going to end, is it?" Tears started pooling in my eyes because I already knew the answer to my question. I opened the keyboard up and snapped the phone in half. "Walk with me to the dumpster?" Alissa just nodded and followed me outside.

"How are you going to explain this one to your mom since you can't get out of not telling her?"

"I'll say I lost it and I would feel more comfortable getting a new number."

"Wow, Kat, the lies are just rolling off your tongue today. I would be impressed if I wasn't so worried for you."

"I like Kat. A lot better than Kitty Kat. It suits me better. Let's stick with it." I was desperate to change the subject.

"Alright, Kat it is, but whoever you decide to be, please promise to tell me the truth, no matter what."

"I promise, Al."

"I am in no way an Al."

"I had to try." I flashed a fake smile and hugged my best friend. _My only friend._

~*~

A little luck was on my side because my mom bought the phone story. I felt bad for not telling her what happened but she had enough to worry about, or at least that's how I justified the lies. Alissa's mom must have bought the lie as well because she hadn't mentioned anything either.

School, however, had become my personal version of hell. Where I had been invisible just last week, now everyone was looking at me. The looks varied from person to person. Some were sad, as though they were embarrassed for me, but most were smirks. I found notes stuffed in my locker and boys passed me their phone numbers in the hallway. I didn't even look at what I was being passed, only holding it long enough to find the nearest trash can.

I met Alissa in our usual spot before we headed into the lunchroom.

"It's Friday, it's lunchtime, and we only have to get through half the day before spring break!" She seemed very excited even though I knew she didn't have anything fun planned besides sleeping in all week. She probably needed a break as much as I did from all the attention we'd been getting.

Alissa had been shooting down questions all week from guys inquiring how to get me to go out with them. I lost count of many guys she told to "kiss her ass."

Matt had stayed by her side as much as possible and even "stood up for" me himself. Any time someone would approach me, he would protectively put his arm around my shoulder. He was so big, no one dared to say anything. _He really is a nice guy._

"Hey! Hey, you!" I looked up at some girl dressed in black with black hair and black eyeliner. She was staring straight at me and I just stared back. Nothing about the girl screamed friendly.

"Yes, I'm talking to you, you little slut. You better stay away from my boyfriend or STDs won't be the only thing you have to worry about."

I had no idea what to say so I just kept staring at her.

Matt spoke for me. "What makes you think she'd even talk to your boyfriend?" _How does he stay so composed?_

"Yeah, what the hell is your problem?" Alissa asked. Matt had to pull her back down as she tried to stand up. She ignored them, though.

"Don't play stupid. I saw him stuff a note in your locker and if you think for one second I'll lose him to your slutty ass, think again." She turned and walked away leaving me still speechless. Her two friends greeted her with high fives and one of them flipped me off before walking away.

"Ummmm," was all I could muster up.

"You know, what I don't understand is, everyone knows you're a virgin but now they're calling you a slut? How can a virgin be a slut?" Alissa laughed her nervous laugh and Matt just shrugged.

"Matt, what is the deal with guys wanting to be with a virgin?" He looked at her with an "oh shit" expression. "Don't you boys have any self-respect? How about respect for girls?" She pushed Matt's hand away and turned to face me. I appreciated her trying to take the attention off me, but my stomach started to gurgle.

"Are you okay, Kat?"

"I think I'm gonna be sick." I grabbed my backpack and hurried towards the bathroom with Alissa right on my heels.

## Chapter 5

### Alissa

I followed Kat into the girl's bathroom needing to make sure she was okay but also to deter anyone from following her in to give her more grief. She slammed the stall door shut and began dry heaving.

"Kat, you need to calm down. Just breathe slowly." The dry heaves turned into quiet sobs. The stalls were too small for me to crawl in with her so I settled for standing on the toilet in the stall next to hers, looking over the separator. It broke my heart to watch Kat leaning over the toilet on her knees. "I could tell you all day not to care about what others think, but I know you wouldn't listen. No one knows you like I do, so please trust me when I say, you are none of those things people are saying behind your back." I was trying to sound sympathetic, but I was angry that I had to watch her go through this.

"I'm trying really hard not to care. I really want everyone to just leave me the hell alone. I'm so mad I let this happen," she cried out, smacking her palm down on the toilet seat.

"Kat, you didn't do this, they did. You did nothing to deserve this bullshit." I felt like going out there and punching something or someone.

"Being invisible was lonely sometimes, but I want that back," she choked out, looking up at me with her blotchy face covered in terror.

"You know, we could get back at them somehow. Make them feel all the emotions you're feeling. Give them a taste of their own medicine."

"Then what, Alissa?" she asked shaking her head. "There's no way to get them all back. If they found out it was us doing anything to them, they would just make our lives that much more a living hell."

"It would make you feel better though. I know it would make me feel better." I tried to smile at her, but I was just too angry.

"It wouldn't make me feel better being like them. It would make me feel worse knowing I sank down to their level." Kat stood up, blew her nose one last time and walked out to face herself in the mirror. "Ugh. Well, at least I don't wear mascara," she said with a small smile.

"You always try to be positive but you've got to remember that we don't live in a perfect world, Kitty Kat." I went to hug her but she stopped me.

She glared at me. "Don't think I won't pull out my Kung Fu if you call me that one more time."

"Sorry." She let me hug her until the bell rang.

~*~

I met Kat after school in our usual spot. I texted my mom to let her know we were going to be a little late because I wanted to talk to our guidance counselor.

"I can just walk home if you need to talk to Ms. Hill."

"Nope, we are both talking to her," I replied.

"If this is some scheme to get me to talk to someone about what happened, you can just stop now." Kat stopped walking in the middle of the hallway.

"Remember when we had that assembly on getting ready for college entrance exams last semester?"

"I think I only half listened," Kat said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I listened and the advisor said the community college has a program that lets seniors graduate a semester early. It would require us to go to summer school but it would be online. Let's do it."

Kat's eyes got wide and she looked stunned. "How did I miss that? Oh my gosh, we could get out of here a whole semester early? Let's do it!"

"I just said that," I said sarcastically.

"Oh, this is perfect!"

"And that is why we are going to talk to Ms. Hill."

"Hurry up," she squealed, pulling on my arm. That was the most excited I had seen her in months.

We only had to wait a couple minutes before Ms. Hill called us in. She went over our transcripts and explained the summer program. It would be extra work but watching how happy Kat was, made it a no-brainer.

"You ladies do need to realize, though, that there is not a graduation ceremony during the winter break."

"That's okay," we both said in unison.

"All spring activities, including prom, are also not going to be available to you."

I cringed on the inside because I had been dreaming about going to my senior prom the last four years. Kat didn't seem fazed by it at all.

"Thank you, Ms. Hill," Kat said, grabbing the admission forms.

We walked out of the office and saw my mom's car parked in the front.

"You have no idea how much this means to me," Kat said, pulling me to a stop before we reached the car.

"I'm just sorry I didn't mention it before. We could have had more time to prepare, mentally for summer classes." I stuck my tongue out at her. She smiled, making the thought of the next few months of hard work seem less torturous.

~*~

A couple of weeks later I was still using my anger about what happened to Kat to push myself harder at the gym. I stuck with the cardio machines when I went alone. Matt would spot me with the weights when we came together. He had Scott spot him since there was no way in hell I could lift that much weight.

Scott and I didn't have much to say to each other. He would give me random workout tips and I'd make up stupid questions just to get his attention. I'd overheard him telling a couple of the girls from our meetings that he only personal trains those of us in the L.S.A.B. group. He'd hang around, talking to them during their sessions while all I got was directions and then he'd walk away.

I found myself becoming jealous of the way Matt seemed to bond to him. They acted like brothers while I stayed almost ignored in the background.

"Do you have plans in a couple of weeks, say on a Saturday?" Matt was using the free weights while Scott was helping me adjust the leg weight machine.

"Probably not. Why?" I didn't even know what I was doing next weekend much less in a couple of weeks.

He smiled his big goofy smile. "Do you want to go to prom with me?"

Scott rolled his eyes at him. I just smiled because he looked so cute asking me even though it wasn't very romantic. "Sure," I replied trying not to look at Scott.

He pouted. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I know it's coming up fast."

"I would love to go. Thank you for asking." Matt walked up to me and gave me a kiss. I felt uncomfortable every time he kissed me in front of Scott. Thinking about Scott so often and not wanting him to see us kiss made me feel so incredibly guilty.

Scott finished adjusting the machine and just walked off. I looked at Matt who didn't seem to notice. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sure he just has other things to do. Hurry up and finish your legs so we can start on cardio."

Scott seemed somewhat moody but he had never been rude before. _I wonder if I did something wrong?_

~*~

I dragged Kat out to go prom dress shopping with me. We could both be going as juniors but there was no convincing Kat.

"I can't believe you're ditching out on prom," I whined. Honestly, if this wasn't Matt's senior prom, I wouldn't be going either. Kat sat in one of the big, comfy chairs next to the large mirror. I had tried a couple other stores but couldn't find anything, so I figured I would give bridesmaid dresses a shot. Future brides lined up along the floor-to-ceiling mirrors trying on dresses.

"Walt doesn't have a date yet," I said.

"Look, I know Matt is friends with Walt and I didn't want to say anything, but he gives me the heebie-jeebies," she replied.

"Okay. I'll stop bringing him up. I don't really pay attention to him, anyways."

Walking out of the dressing room, trying on my fourth dress, I saw Kat's expression and knew this was the one. Her mouth formed an "O" and her head tilted from side to side looking at me from different angles.

"Holy hell, Alissa! You look amazing!" She stood up and twirled me around. The dark red dress was sleeveless and looked perfect against my black hair. The top had material crisscrossing across the bust and then tied around the back. The rest of the material just flowed down to my knees. It was so soft against my skin, I wanted to keep twirling around.

"This is definitely the one." I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror. I hoped Matt would think it was fabulous, too.

"Alissa? Wow, you look amazing!" I turned to my right and saw a girl who went to our high school, but I couldn't remember her name.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Mary," she said with a smile.

"Thank you. This is a great dress," I said running my hands down the soft material. I heard some laughing from behind me. A small group of girls from school came walking towards us.

"Great dress, Alissa," one of the girls said.

"Hey, Mary, shouldn't you be shopping at the plus-size store?" one of the girls asked, laughing with the rest of them.

I looked back at Mary. She turned red in embarrassment. I couldn't keep my mouth shut or my anger suppressed any more.

"Being that you're all bitches, maybe you should go shop at the pet store." I crossed my arms and stood there unfazed as they shot daggers at me with their eyes.

The sales woman approached and stood in front of me. I couldn't tell if she was worried about the dress getting hurt if one of them attacked me or if she thought I needed back up.

"Ladies, I don't like my customers being insulted and would appreciate it if you would please leave," she said in a sweet yet slightly intimidating tone. My mouth dropped open as I watched the girls' expressions change from mean to shock. They didn't say anything else as they turned around and exited the store.

Mary looked like she had tears in her eyes. "Thank you everyone. I'm really sorry you had to step in. I should probably go." She turned around to leave.

My sales lady stopped Mary before I could. "I know the perfect dress for you. Why don't you sit down and I'll bring it right out."

Kat patted the chair next to hers and Mary sat down while the saleslady went through the velvet curtain that led to the stock room.

"People suck," Kat said with a straight face. I laughed while my adrenaline flow eased up throughout my body. Mary just smiled and relaxed into the chair.

"People do suck, but this dress does not and I must have it." I winked at them both and went back into my dressing room to change back into my clothes. I took a picture in the mirror and sent it to Matt.

Matt replied, "You. Are. So. Gorgeous." _Yep, this is definitely the dress. Too bad Scott can't see me right now. I wonder if he would like it too? Stop it, Alissa!_

~*~

Junior year was finally over. Kat stayed under everyone's radar and I didn't have to kick anyone's ass. Boys were still trying to ask her out, but she got really good at ignoring them all. Matt graduated and decided to go to tech school in Rochester for some sort of program that had to do with computer systems.

We celebrated the last day of school by having dinner with my parents. Even though the weather was warming up for the summer, the nights were still chilly enough for the warm water, so we sat in the hot tub after dessert.

"I'm really sorry about prom," Matt said. He got the stomach flu the day before and we didn't end up going.

"Don't be sorry! I feel really bad since it was your senior prom. I would have enjoyed seeing Kelly and her hoard getting kicked out because they started acting crazy." We both laughed. "Someone posted a picture of one of the D.A.'s knocking over the punch bowl. I guess that's what happens when you're high as a kite!"

Matt's smiled faded. "I'm mad I didn't get to see you in that dress."

"I can put it on later," I joked. He still looked sad so I decided to change the subject.

"How's it going working out with Scott?" I tried not to ask about Scott because I was afraid I would sound too enthusiastic. I hadn't told anyone, not even Kat, but I was having dreams about him even though the only things I knew about him were what I learned hearing him talk at the meetings.

"Good. He's been working with me on upper body strength so I don't re-injure my knee. The dude has some serious skills defending himself."

"So, what exactly is he mentoring you on?" I started rubbing his thigh with my foot.

"Right now it's mainly physical defense."

"I thought the whole point of the meetings was to teach you to be mentally prepared so if you are bullied, you can have the strength to walk away and report what happened."

"Ideally that is what you're supposed to do, but Scott wants to prepare me if a situation ever gets out of hand." He brought his arm up out of the water and flexed, showing off his muscles.

"Kat wants to come to the meeting this Friday. You should introduce her to someone. Maybe a single guy?"

"Walt is single. Maybe we should hook them up?" he asked with a huge smile.

"Umm, no. I think he gives her the creeps." I pushed off the step I was sitting on across from Matt and moved right in front him. His arms wrapped around me and I ran my hands up and down his biceps, feeling his muscles. He pulled me in closer so I straddled his lap. Kissing him wouldn't be satisfying enough right now so I let my hands wander across his chest and around to his lower back. I closed my eyes and ran my nose along his jaw line, inhaling his scent but it was Scott's face I imagined.

"I don't know how much longer I can take being this close to you and not pushing myself inside you." He groaned quietly as I kissed his neck.

I pressed my body up against his as close as I could. "I know how patient you've been and I promise I'm almost ready but I can't have my first time be in a hot tub." I used the same excuse when we were making out in his car and things started to heat up between us.

He looked right into my eyes and whispered, "I'll wait as long as you need me to." He kissed my nose and brought me in for a hug. Matt was so wonderful and that's why I had to get Scott out of my head.

"I know this is a weird question, but can I touch it?" I ran my hand up his thigh.

He wiggled his eyebrows and smiled. "Of course."

My hand moved up his shorts. I kissed his neck as my hand explored him. I wrapped my hand around his cock, tugging it a little.

"Don't hurt him!" Matt chuckled and I gave him a glare.

"I don't know what to do with it." I was completely embarrassed because it was my first time touching one.

"Just play with him and he'll get bigger," he whispered in my ear.

I pulled a little lighter and used my fingers to pump up and down. It got bigger and harder. Matt was moaning in my ear, which made me want to stroke him harder. My whole hand fit around it as it became big and solid. He grabbed my hand and showed me how to touch him. I felt empowered as he moaned louder in my ear.

"You need to stop or I'm going to lose it right here. I don't think your parents would appreciate that." He winked at me and adjusted himself.

"Does it hurt leaving it like that?" I pulled back off his lap and sat across from him again.

"It's not comfortable but after a couple of minutes, it'll go away. I will have to take care of myself in the shower later, however." He smiled at me but I still felt bad. "I like your touch." He leaned over and kissed me.

"Soon, I promise." He nodded and stood up, reaching for our towels. He was still hard and I couldn't help but stare at it, smiling. _I did that to him._

## Chapter 6

### Katherine

Words could not explain how happy I was walking out of my high school the last day before summer vacation. That night I slept so deeply, knowing for two months it would just be me, my laptop, online classes and my best friend.

I heard Matt honk his horn outside in front of my apartment. I wasn't excited about going to this meeting but Alissa was so sidetracked with Matt, I'd decided to suck it up so I could spend some time with her.

When we walked into the meeting room, I was shocked at how many people were attending. Matt was swarmed with people giving him fist bumps. Alissa stood back with me, people-watching connoisseurs that we were.

Alissa pointed to a guy standing on a small stage, surrounded by people. "That's Scott, the main organizer."

I couldn't get a really good look at him because every time someone walked away, there was someone else taking their place. I noticed Alissa roll her eyes while we watched him giving some of the girls hugs. "Something wrong?"

She looked at me, her cheeks turning pink. "No. Nothing. Let's find somewhere to sit."

"Can we sit in the back?"

"Sure. Let's go grab a seat. Matt will find us when he's done talking to everyone." Alissa said, grabbing my hand, leading me over to the chairs. No one spoke to us but we got a lot of smiles as we passed by little groups of people chatting.

Scott took the stage not long after we sat down. He began going over some new workout schedules for the summer, followed by asking for volunteers to help do some community awareness. Every mom in the crowd raised their hand to offer their help.

I couldn't help but notice how good-looking Scott was. He kept everyone's attention with every word he spoke. Even I got a little amped up listening to him speak words of encouragement for anyone dealing with any bullying issues. His confident voice filled the room and no one dared to even whisper the whole time he had the stage. He didn't speak long because he wanted to use the remainder of the meeting time to allow people to fill in the sign-up sheets for various summer activities.

"I know you were probably bored, but thank you for coming with us tonight," Alissa said as she linked her arm through mine and led me back out to the car. She used me as her excuse to not hang around after the meeting with Matt. He didn't even argue when she asked him to take us home.

"Actually, it wasn't boring. I can see why you enjoy these meetings. Scott is a very good speaker. It seems like he really enjoys working with the group and is excited about growth opportunities." I climbed into the back seat of Matt's car.

"So, you want to volunteer?" Matt asked, giving me a wink from the rearview mirror.

"Ummm, no," I replied, getting a laugh out of Alissa.

"I'll work on her. Don't worry," she said to Matt. I rolled my eyes at her. "The meeting was so short, I don't want to go home yet. We should go get ice cream!"

"Could you take me home first? I don't really feel like being social right now," I said. The ice cream place near our neighborhood would be crawling with kids from school at this time on a Friday night.

"Lame!" Alissa hollered back to me.

"You know, if anyone tries to mess with you they will have to go through me first?" Matt asked, turning around to face me at a red light.

"It's so much easier to just hide in my room, but thank you," I replied.

Alissa took the red light as an opportunity to lean over and kiss Matt. She laid her head on his should, much like she used to do when we sat in the back seat together. I knew it would eventually happen but I felt like I'd been replaced.

~*~

Alissa's mom let her hang out most days at my house while my mom was at work. Alissa was sprawled out on the couch while I sat on the floor with my laptop. The online classes we were taking required a lot of reading and answering multiple-choice questions. I read out loud and we would take turns answering the questions. I don't think we were playing by the rules of summer school, but our system worked.

"I know we're supposed to be growing up and getting more mature, but is watching the news really helping with that process?" I was half kidding because I didn't really mind Alissa watching the news, but she was getting slightly obsessed with trying to stay informed.

"Everything that is happening around the world affects us and it wouldn't hurt you to stay more informed either," she says not breaking eye contact from the TV.

"I do want to stay informed, but it's making you a stress ball watching the news all the time! Then when you're not watching it, you're worried you're going to miss something. Call me crazy, but I don't think it's healthy." I don't know why I felt the need to let that come out so sarcastically, but I was really annoyed. "What is up with you lately? You've always been passionate about school politics or what's happening in other people's relationships but ever since you started meeting with Matt and that Scott guy, you seem moodier and not in a good way." I stuck my tongue out hoping it would soften the blow.

"Let's just say they are opening my eyes to the world, and yes, it's not all good. You can't relate because you always have your nose stuck in fiction." She stood up and I thought she was going to stomp out the door, but her expression quickly turned apologetic. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. It's just, well, it just makes me so mad that good people get hurt by these horrible human beings that have their heads so far up their own ass, they lose all compassion for others."

"Do you not remember what happened to me? I get it, really I do, but we can't do anything about it." I shrugged not knowing what else to say. Time to change the subject. "So, how are things with Matt?"

"Good! Great, even. It's getting harder to refrain from sex, but he's being super patient with me. Especially when we start kissing and he..."

"Ewww! I don't want to know!" Actually, I did want to know but, I was jealous that Alissa had landed such a great, patient guy and didn't want to hear more that would only reinforce my opinion so I interrupted whenever she started with the details.

"Okay, fine, but I do need your opinion on something."

"Okay," I replied with hesitation.

"Matt has really big hands. I have small boobs. Do you think he thinks they're smaller just because his hands are so big?"

I wasn't sure how to respond without making her feel worse. "I'm sure his hands don't care what size your boobs are as long as he's touching your boobs," I said. I didn't want to know but I had to know. "Has he touched your boobs?"

"Of course. It's just, these bras are fantastic for making them look bigger," she said, looking down her shirt. "I don't like being a B-cup."

"Better than an A-cup," I said. She stuck her tongue out at me.

"You know Walt asked about you the other day." She winked as I rolled my eyes at her.

"Not going to happen."

"I'm pretty sure he'll wait forever if he thinks there's even a chance." Alissa made gagging sounds in between the kiss noises. She didn't even deserve a reply.

~*~

I had avoided going anywhere with my mom after the mall incident. I came up with every excuse in the book, but I was quickly running out of them. She'd noticed how anti-social I was being, even more than before but I was afraid someone would mention what had happened and I desperately wanted to keep it a secret from her.

"You've been studying all week. I don't want to sit around tonight. Let's at least go get ice cream," Mom said.

"Why don't you go to the store and bring some home?"

"Okay, enough. We're going out. No excuses," she demanded. I watched her walk into her bedroom, coming back out with her shoes on.

"Fine," I gave in. "Can we go to that place we found out by the lake?"

"You mean the one that is forty-five minutes away? I think not," she replied.

We got in the car and my stomach flipped. I said a silent plea that no one from school would be at the shop. Mom plugged in her iPod and Adam Lambert's voice blared through the speakers.

"You're still not over him?" I asked.

"Nope. It's true love, even if he's not into girls," she said, winking at me before turning the corner. She was a horrible singer but it didn't stop her from rocking out.

I looked through the front window of the shop as we parked. It didn't look too busy. We walked to the counter and I felt my face heat up when I noticed the guy behind the counter. He was one of the assholes who'd passed me a note at school. I think his name was Mark.

"What can I get for you today?" he asked, not giving any indication he recognized me.

"I'll have pralines and cream in a waffle cone," Mom ordered.

"Chocolate and peanut butter, please, also in a waffle cone," I ordered, keeping my eyes on the menu.

"Coming right up." He pulled out two waffle cones and began scooping my mom's first. He handed it to her and just as he bent down to scoop mine, our eyes met. "Do I know you?"

I said the obvious answer, "We go to school together." I quickly looked away and walked over next to my mom. She was paying at the end of the counter.

Mark walked my cone over and before he handed it to me, his smile got big. "Oh yeah, I remember you. Katherine, right?"

"Yes," I replied. I grabbed my mom's hand and pulled her towards the door.

"Make sure you call me," he hollered as we exited.

I started shaking. I didn't respond or look back at him.

"Well, well, well, Kitty Kat has and admirer," my mom said as she got into the car. "Why didn't you say anything back? He was cute."

"He's not cute, Mom, and I would never call him. He's a jerk."

"Maybe you just need to step out of your comfort zone," she said.

"Ugh, can we please just go home?" My stomach felt like it was twisted in knots. I looked at my ice cream and wasn't positive it would stay down if I ate it. I hated that I couldn't tell my mom what happened but I couldn't bear her looks of disappointment. I fought back tears during the ride home. If my mom noticed, she didn't say anything.

My stomach eased up when I got back to the apartment. The cone was a little soggy from the ice cream melting into the bottom. I put it upside down in a bowl and crushed up the cone, mixing it with the ice cream.

"What movie do you want to watch?" Mom asked.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings because we never got to spend time together between school and her work schedule. "You pick, but please no love stories."

She looked over at me with concerned eyes. "Does your attitude have anything to do with a certain boy? I know it's hard sharing your best friend, but you'll find a great guy, too."

"No, I like Matt. I just don't fit in at school. Never have, you know that."

She sat down on the couch and patted the other side, hinting for me to sit next to her. "Is someone being mean to you?"

I plunked down, holding my bowl. I couldn't look her in the eyes. "I feel like everyone is mean to everyone. I don't know how to explain it."

She leaned into the couch and began scratching my back. "Being young is hard. I've told you that for a long time. It can only get better, right?"

"I hope so," I replied. I stood up, not wanting her to stop scratching my back, but I needed to stop talking. I picked an action movie and put into the player. We sat next to each other until half way through when I laid my head in her lap and fell asleep.

## Chapter 7

### Alissa

One of Matt's old friends was visiting for the summer and invited us to a pool party. Normally, I would have declined but I didn't want Matt hanging around the pool with a bunch of girls in skimpy bikinis alone. I trusted him but the thought made me uncomfortable.

My first mission was to find a perfect fitting bathing suit. I didn't know who would be there, but it was safe to assume most of them would try to look as hot as possible.

I settled on a hot pink bikini that looked amazing against my tanned skin. I took a picture of it and sent it to Matt, hoping he would approve. He texted me back two minutes later confirming it looked great. A minute later he sent me another text saying, "Scott thinks it looks hot too." I knew they were working out together but I never imagined he would show the picture to Scott. I had to admit that I liked Scott thinking it was hot.

I called Kat after doing a happy dance in the dressing room.

"Hello," she answered.

"Hey. I know I said I would come over Saturday night, but Matt got invited to a pool party and I agreed to go with."

She paused for a moment. "Okay. Maybe next week?"

"Sure. I'll see you for our regularly scheduled homework date."

"Sounds good," she replied.

"Bye. Love you."

"Love you back. Bye." She hung up before I could make my kissing noise.

~*~

Matt picked me up late in the afternoon for the party. He came in to say hello to my parents while I finished getting ready. I looked over myself in the mirror about ten times before I was confident enough to be done.

I met him in the kitchen, interrupting another legal story my dad liked to share with him. I wasn't completely sure, but I had a sneaking suspicion he used bragging about the cases he'd won as an intimidation technique to keep Matt in line.

"You look beautiful," Matt whispered in my ear when I greeted him with a hug.

"Well, Mom, Dad, we need to go."

"Make sure you're home by midnight," my dad warned.

I smiled my best good girl smile. "Of course."

I hugged them both before we left. Matt held the car door open for me and I climbed, taking a moment to glance in the mirror one last time.

"I still don't think your parents like me very much," he said once we pulled out of the driveway.

"Don't be silly, of course they do."

He smirked, not totally believing me. "So, I don't know who all is going to be at this party but if you're having a horrible time, we can leave early."

"It's just some kids that graduated last year, right?"

"Yeah, but you never know who else might show up," he said, reaching over into my lap and locking my fingers with his.

We pulled into the driveway of a house twice as big as mine. It was a beautiful, Victorian style house. Cars were lined up around the half circle driveway that surrounded a flower garden.

"Wow," I said, feeling terrified by the number of parked vehicles.

"I know. Jason's family has owned this house for over a hundred years."

I opened my door and stepped out, feeling intimidated. I heard screaming and the splash of pool water. Matt threw my bag over his shoulder and held out his hand. We only took a few steps before someone was running out of the front door towards us. I didn't recognize him.

"My man, great to see you," Matt said, giving a half hug to the guy. "This is Alissa. Alissa, this is Jason, one of my oldest friends."

"Nice to meet you, Jason," I said, shaking his hand.

"You, too," he replied. "Come on in and go grab a beer in the back. Everyone is already in the pool."

Matt took my hand and lead me through the enormous entry-way. We walked through an open living room with cathedral ceilings, through double doors and out onto the patio. About fifteen people were already in the pool. A group of three girls were lounging by the pool on towels, soaking up the sun. One of them sat up the moment she spotted us.

"Matt! So great to see you," she yelled over the noise of music and people talking.

Matt waved at her. "That's Jason's older sister, Chelle. They're going to the same college."

I held on to Matt's arm as we made the rounds, saying hello to everyone. I didn't recognize a single person. We walked to the other side of the pool near Chelle and put our bags down.

"So, Matt, who's the girl?" she asked. Her friends looked like they were asleep under their sunglasses.

"This is Alissa," he said, sitting down on the edge of the pool, dangling his feet over.

She smiled at me but didn't say anything else. I smiled back and sat next to Matt. The water felt cold but fantastic.

"Should we get it over with?" Matt asked.

"Get what?" I looked at him for an answer and he smiled while pulling me down into the pool with him. Matt greeted me at the surface, laughing. "I still have my cover on, dork."

"Just take it off and throw it by the bag," he said, pulling me in for a hug. He kissed me and everyone started whistling.

"Looks like someone's getting lucky tonight," Chelle said, getting even more whistles.

I felt my cheeks heat up as I looked around at all the people watching us. "I'm getting out."

"Okay, I'll get out with you," Matt replied, seeming unfazed by the attention.

I pulled myself up onto the side. My terrycloth suit cover was drenched in water. I began pulling it down from the top and stood up to let step out of it. I looked to my side and noticed Chelle was watching me. She smirked as I finished taking it off. I saw her eyes scan over my body, the smirk never leaving her face. I had never felt more self-conscious in my life.

I quickly grabbed my towel and wrapped it around myself. Matt was standing next to me now, pulling me in for a hug. The last thing I wanted to do right now was give them another affection show.

"I'm going to go inside and use the restroom. Can you give me directions?" I asked.

"Through the double doors, to the right. Go down the hallway and it's your first door on the left."

I pulled my towel up to face, pretending to dry off so he wouldn't try to kiss me. I looked back before heading through the doors as Matt jumped back in with a large splash. Chelle got up and was walking in my direction. I hurried inside, towards the bathroom.

The door was shut and when I knocked, someone said occupied. Not sure what to do except stand there and wait, I leaned against the wall.

"You can come use my bathroom," Chelle said, still smirking at me.

"Oh, that's okay. I'm sure whoever is in there will be done soon," I replied, hoping she would just walk away. I didn't like the way she was staring at me.

"It's just down here," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me down the hall. The room she directed me into was a dark shade of red, with black furniture. "It's right in there."

I looked to my side and saw the bathroom. "Thank you." I walked in and locked the door behind me. I hurried, looking at myself in the mirror, adjusting my wet hair. I hesitated opening the door but I didn't want to be in there longer than necessary. Chelle greeted me the moment I walked through the door.

"You know, Matt's ex is going to be here soon. She's one of my best friends and if you try to mess with her, I'll fuck you up."

I looked at her stunned, not moving an inch. "I don't know why you think I would want to mess with her."

"Uh-huh. Maybe you should go," she said and left the room.

I waited a couple minutes before I left the room and made my way down the hall. Matt jumped out of the pool when he saw I'd returned. He scooped me up and twirled me around, puckering his lips.

"We should go," I said.

"Why? We just got here."

I looked around to make sure no one was listening in to our conversation. "Chelle told me your ex is coming."

He put me down. "Oh, Chelle told you that, huh?" His face went from happy to angry.

She was standing next to the cooler when Matt walked up to her. "What the fuck, Chelle?"

She batted her eyes but didn't flinch. "What?"

"You invited her even though you knew I would be here?" he asked.

"I didn't know you would be here with some other skank," she replied.

Matt turned away, grabbed my hand and walked me to where my bag was. He picked up our stuff and wrapped his towel around himself. Without saying a word to anyone, we left the house and got in the car.

"What just happened?" I asked.

"Chelle's a bitch is what happened."

"I'm sorry if me being here caused problems," I said, grabbing my extra shirt from my bag.

"No, don't be sorry. It's not you, it's them. I don't know why I even considered giving them another shot. These people were my friends back when I was a football player but they're nothing to me now." He started the car up and drove me back to my house.

My parents were surprised when I walked in but I used the excuse that Matt wasn't feeling good after eating a bad hamburger. They bought it and we spent the rest of the night watching movies.

~*~

Matt picked me up before heading to the gym. He wanted me to get more training time in with Scott during the summer. I hadn't spent much time with Scott on purpose. After Matt left the pool party for me, I promised myself that he would be the only guy I would dream about.

He never explained what happened with his ex to cause him to become so angry. I forced myself to stop thinking about it once we entered the gym. The place was packed but we found a spot to work on pull ups. My arm strength was so pathetic that I had to use a box to help me get up on the bar.

Scott walked up after I pulled myself up a couple times. "Do you want help?"

"Sure. Can you give me some of your muscles?" I asked, trying not to blush. The moment he'd walked up to us, my body felt like it had been set on fire.

He put his hands on my hips and helped guide me up and down. I'd watch him helping others, wishing his hands were on me, not them. My palms got so sweaty from him touching me that I had to take a minute to wipe them off. I moved to the side, letting Scott show me the best way to do the exercise.

Matt watched him, too, while moving to my side. He put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. In that moment, Matt's touch made me want to push him away.

"Okay, I'm ready to try again," I said, moving away from Matt.

We took turns using the bar. Every time it was Scott's turn, Matt would hold my hand or put his arm around me. I was so confused why being around Scott was making Matt's attention feel like torture. I pretended to pull my arm muscle and used a treadmill the remainder of the session. I had to get away from both of them.

## Chapter 8

### Katherine

The summer flew by entirely too fast for my liking. The heat and humidity were brutal. Not that I was looking forward to the snow, but cooler air would've been nice. The stress of school starting again made me break out and encouraged my mom to ask me what was wrong a million times. I replied with an excuse about needing to start preparing for college entrance exams and applying for scholarships. Those excuses seemed to pacify her. What I didn't tell her was that I feared how everyone would treat me this year after the mall incident.

Alissa and I had a traditional sleep-over at her house the last weekend of summer vacation every year since first grade. Her brother, Dillon, would always try to scare the crap out of us. It didn't always work but we secretly enjoyed watching him try. When he joined the Army last year, he'd been at basic training during the last sleepover and we both missed him. He just happened to be home on leave this year and I couldn't wait to see him.

"Mom, I'm leaving for Alissa's! See you tomorrow!" I yelled even though I didn't need to because in our small apartment, we had no trouble hearing everything, including the neighbors.

"Be safe and tell everyone hello for me!" she yelled back.

I had been walking to Alissa's all summer since it was the only time I got any exercise. As I turned the corner towards her house, I caught sight of Dillon washing his car, with no shirt on and it stopped me in my tracks. I couldn't move. I just stared at him, watching his muscles flex as he cleaned the windows with a soapy sponge. I had never wanted to be a sponge so badly in my entire life. He moved to the other side of the car and must have seen me from the corner of his eye because his head turned directly at me and he smiled while I stood there motionless, staring and probably drooling.

"Hey, Katherine!" He waved, but I didn't wave back. His eyebrows lifted and he walked towards me. "Umm, Katherine, is there something wrong?"

My hand reached up to my cheek and I slapped myself. _Oh my gosh! Could you be more pathetic?_

"I thought I saw a bee. And I'm allergic." I'm not sure if I actually am allergic to bees, but it was the only excuse I could come up with.

"I don't see any bees so I think you're safe." He chuckled and I'm pretty sure I experienced a pre-menopausal hot flash if the heat in my cheeks was any indication.

"Wow, Dillon, it's so great to see you!" I reached out my hand like a dork for a handshake.

"Come here," he said and pulled me in for a hug. He smelled like sweat and soap. I had to refrain myself from licking his shoulder. _Ugh, Alissa must be rubbing her boy crazy on me._ "Look at you, Katherine, all grown up." His eyes roamed over my entire body, making me blush.

"Look at you! All muscular and stuff." _I need a hole to crawl in._

His grin got even bigger. "Yep, I had to workout so I didn't get my ass kicked." _Would it be wrong to run my hands over his chest?_

His face turned serious and I was afraid he could read my mind for a second. He ran his hand over his buzzed black hair and got so close I had to look up at him. "Alissa kind of filled me in on what happened and I just want you to know I'm sorry you had to go through all that crap." _I'm going to kill her._

"Yeah, well it happened. I'm over it." I'm sure he could tell I was lying because I'd grown up alongside Alissa, practically an unofficial extension of his family.

"I'm sure you are. You've always been strong and won't take any crap." His smile was reassuring and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Well, hey, we should catch up. I'm only in town for a couple more days, but maybe we can talk tomorrow or sometime."

"Umm, yeah, that would be great. I better go in before Alissa thinks I ditched her." _Unless you need help washing the car?_

"Okay, just let yourself in and I'll see you later." He started walking back towards the house and I couldn't help but watch the muscles in his legs flex. _This is going to be a long night._

The first thing I did when I walked into Alissa's room was smack her on the arm. "Why did you tell Dillon what happened? Like I'm not embarrassed enough," I said, seething through my teeth.

"Hey! Why would you care if I told Dillon or not? It's not like he'll repeat any of it," she said rubbing her arm.

"That's not the point and you know it!"

"Then what is the point? He's my brother and..." She tilted her head and stopped mid-sentence, studying me. "Oh, oh, oh, hang on a second!"

I felt my body blush when I realized she was on to me.

"You have a crush on my brother!" She started jumping up and down clapping her hands together like we were back in kindergarten.

"Do not!" If it wasn't obvious before, it was now. I giggled and hid my face in my hands.

"It's about damn time! Do you have any idea how long I've waited for you to crush on someone so we can talk about boys?" She stopped jumping and threw herself on her bed. "Eww, why did you have to pick my brother, though?"

"Oh, stop," I said moving her curtain just a little, hoping I could sneak a peek at Dillon down in the drive way. "I mean, who wouldn't notice a tall, built, sweaty guy washing his car without a shirt? His buzzed dark hair all wet? Not to mention his grey eyes," I sighed and fell to the floor in the most dramatic way I could muster up.

"So, do you want to hear about what Matt did to me the other night?" Alissa flung her head over the bed and flashed me a huge smile.

"Nope." I covered my ears.

"Oh, come on! I thought we were gonna talk about boys?"

"Your version of talking includes way too many details that my virgin ears don't want to hear."

"You're no fun, Kat." She grabbed my hand and pulled me off the floor. "Let's go downstairs, raid the fridge and find a movie to watch."

~*~

Just after midnight, we finished my all-time favorite movie, _So I Married an Axe Murder_. Actually, it was my mom's favorite movie first, but it makes me laugh so much, it never gets old.

Alissa yawned and said, "Man, we are getting old! I can't believe how tired I am." Her phone started playing some stupid song. "Hey Matt!" I couldn't hear what he was saying, but she had a goofy grin on her face. "Don't you remember me telling you Kat's here for the night?" I strained to hear what he was saying. "Okay, be down in a second, but only for one kiss." She ended the call and looked at me with the puppy dog face she always used when she wanted something or was about to talk me into doing something. "Matt is here for a kiss."

"Okay. You're not going to leave me up here all night by myself are you?"

"No! I'll just go give him a kiss and be right back. I promise."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Fine, but us old ladies need our sleep, so don't be too long."

Alissa jumped up, threw on her sneakers, opened up her window and started climbing down a small ladder that hung just below her window.

"What the hell are you doing? And where the hell did you get that ladder?" I grabbed onto her arm so she wouldn't fall.

"It's not like I can just go out the front door. It's fine, I do this all the time. I told my parents I wanted a ladder just in case our house caught on fire." She wiggled her eyebrows and smiled, proud of her deception.

"Alissa, we are on the second story!" I looked out onto the grassy lawn and didn't see anything that would break her fall if she missed the ladder.

"There's plenty of things to grab onto and like I said, I've done it before. Just watch." She climbed down so fast she looked like a professional stunt woman. Once she was down, she gave me the thumbs up and ran around the corner.

I can't believe I just watched my best friend climb out her window. What was up with her lately? I suddenly had to pee.

Walking out of the bathroom, my face hit a wall. No, not a wall, just Dillon. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry."

He grabbed both my arms to steady me. "Don't be. Totally my fault."

I giggled like a dork. "Hey, you didn't try messing with us tonight! Did you run out of good ideas?" I was so thankful we were in a dark hallway so he couldn't see how short my night shorts were. Being alone with him was making my heart race as I pictured him pushing me against the wall and kissing me.

"I never run out of good ideas. But I figured if I did anything to make you mad, you wouldn't want to talk to me the rest of the time I'm home."

"I would talk to you no matter what." _Ugh, I'm so cheesy._

"Better to be safe." I could almost hear his smile. He walked towards his room. "Well goodnight, Katherine."

"Goodnight."

I walked back into Alissa's room just as she started to climb back into the window.

"I told you I wouldn't be gone long. What were you doing?"

"I went to the bathroom and ran into Dillon, literally. Hey! What is wrong with you, jumping in and out of second story windows? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Alissa just shrugged and climbed back into bed. "Someday maybe you'll be as awesome as me."

"Oh no, you're not getting out of this that easy! Spill it! What's going on with you?" I sat myself down on the chaise lounge next to the bed.

I watched Alissa pull her hair into a bun on top of her head as she stalled answering. "Scott is teaching Matt and me how to defend ourselves. That way we can protect ourselves and anyone else that needs help."

"Defend yourselves and others against what?" I asked, concerned.

"Against people like Kelly and all the other creeps out there doing things to people who can't defend themselves. Everywhere you go people are taking advantage of each other." She stood up from her bed and started pacing back and forth on her carpet. "We haven't gotten to the mental part yet, but that may be my favorite part." She moved her eyebrows up and down like she always does when she has a bad idea.

"Okay, I get the physical part but mentally, how?" I looked at her like she was crazy, but really I was worried she could get hurt doing something stupid.

"I'm not really sure."

"So, what does climbing in and out of your window have to do with anything?" I was trying to keep my voice down but it was difficult because I wanted to scream at her.

"I have to work on training myself to be brave." Her face was serious, not scared at all.

"Just know if anyone messes with you or makes you do something you don't want to do, I'll break out my mad fighting skills." I punched my pillow and it barely made an indent.

We both started laughing. "You? Fighting skills? That'll be the day." Alissa kissed my cheek and we both crawled into bed.

"Goodnight, love you," I said in the middle of a yawn.

"Love you, too. Don't drool on the pillow when you dream about Dillon," she joked while making kissing noises.

"Shut up." We both giggled.

Sleep came easy. I really was getting old.

~*~

I never got to talk to Dillon because he had to go back a day early. I tried to convince myself that it was better that way because I didn't need any distractions while I was getting ready for the first day of school. Not having Matt there anymore was nice on one hand because I would get more Alissa time but he had come in handy when it came down to warding off people looking to do verbal harm.

Only one more semester, Kat. One more semester.

Alissa always dragged me along for school shopping with her and her mom. It was fun because the two of them looked more like sisters than mother and daughter. They tended to act that way, too. It took hours for them to shop. I, however, tended to shop in one store for my entire wardrobe. I did occasionally change up where I bought my underwear but only because I followed the sales. Alissa liked brand names and even if we had been the same size, I would stick with comfort over style.

Only one more semester, Kat. One more semester.

## Chapter 9

### Alissa

I got a car over the summer, but Kat and I decided to stay on campus for lunches anyway. It took too long to drive, order, pay for food, eat and drive back to campus. We'd venture out for special occasions, but not every day.

"Why do I feel like we spent all summer doing homework?" Kat asked while she stuffed a corn dog in her mouth.

"Probably because that's all we did. I'm just glad I got plenty of workout and pool time in, too." I emptied five mustard packets onto my plate. The corn dogs at school only tasted good when they were drowning in the stuff.

"I feel like I barely got to see you." She pouted while chewing, which made me laugh. "How's the man?"

"Good. He's getting a little clingy though." Kat just shrugged at me. It's hard to talk to her about boys because she doesn't know anything about them.

"Clingy, how?" she asked.

"Everywhere we go, he has to hold my hand or have his arm around me. Even at the gym."

"As I recall, you couldn't keep your hands off him in the beginning. He loves you. You should be happy about that," Kat said.

I really wanted to tell her about Scott but he was my secret and I still wasn't entirely sure how I felt about him.

"I'm really excited about my journalism class this semester. I'm hoping I'll get a really great story and maybe you could co-write some with me!" Kat wasn't a joiner but she loved to write, so I gave it a shot.

"If you find a story worth writing about, maybe I'll help you," Kat said between mouthfuls.

"How are you ever going to get into publishing if you don't have any stories to show off?" I scolded her.

"I think I'll get into editing first and then use that experience. It may take longer, but..." Kat shrugged.

"You could start now?" I didn't want to push her, but why wouldn't she want this opportunity to see if it was the direction she really wanted to go in?

"If it's that important to you, I'll help but I'm not going to any meetings or getting roped into any clubs." She was getting irritated. I could tell because her voice always went up two octaves.

"Okay. Is something bugging you Kat?" I asked raising my brow.

"No," she grumbled. "I just don't want to write about stuff that has anything to do with school or the people here."

"All right, I get it." I held up my hands in defeat.

"Hey, you never told me what you got on your bullying story."

"I got a 'C' thanks to being sidetracked by Matt. I was late turning it in and it wasn't detailed enough," I rolled my eyes remembering the teacher giving me a very disappointed look after he handed me back my paper.

An announcement came over the intercom reminding us to go to the gym instead of the classroom after lunch.

Kat growled under her breath. "I'm really excited to be a senior, but all these pep rallies and crap really should be optional."

"Maybe you should steal the spirit stick." We both laughed.

"I'm sorry I'm grumpy, but this place really feels like a jail," Kat said.

"That's how my dad feels about his job sometimes. Do you think it'll get better when we're older?"

She shook her head. "I'm beginning to think we're only in the first level of hell," she groaned.

"At least we'll be there together."

Kat smile. "That's for damn sure."

~*~

Wednesday night I met Scott at the gym for the first time without Matt. I grabbed a bottle of water before I left the house because my mouth had a tendency to go dry when I got nervous and I would definitely feel nervous being alone with him. I shaved my legs and wore my favorite yoga pants, hoping he'd pay a little more attention to me. Why he would, I don't know, but just in case.

At the gym, I showed the front desk my membership badge.

"Miss Sullivan, Scott asked you to meet him in the meeting room instead of the weight room." The guy behind the desk said with a smile that stopped every girl in their tracks. Unfortunately my nervousness wasn't giving me the ability to smile back.

The meeting room was in the back of the gym across from the entrance to the pool. Scott didn't look that much older than me and I wondered how he could afford to build and run this place. I opened the door and there he was, standing in the middle of the room pacing back and forth, talking on his phone. The door shut behind me making a loud sound within the quiet space and he looked up and waved, not pausing his side of the conversation.

I walked over to a lone table that had been set up to put all of my stuff down. As I was turning back toward Scott, I felt a hand on my back and I froze at the contact, my eyes sliding shut at the sensation. He turned me around and led me to a door that he unlocked with a set of keys he pulled from the pocket of his gym pants. Inside there was a staircase that led up to a second story I hadn't even realized was there. He led the way up the steps, ending his call just as he opened the second door at the top of the stairs.

"I hope you don't mind if we take a break from the norm today?"

"No, of course not." It didn't even dawn on me to question why, just being close to him left me in a daze. Thank goodness no one was around to notice my reaction to him: sweaty palms, rosy cheeks, and I couldn't stop smiling.

The office looked like it could be an apartment, aside from the large desk. There was even a huge flatscreen TV mounted on the wall with a couch facing in its direction.

"I hope this doesn't sound too rude, but how old are you?" I asked shyly. "I'm only asking because you look so young, especially to have built a place like this." I didn't look at him because my eyes were wandering all over the place searching for pictures of a possible girlfriend.

He laughed at my question. "I'm twenty-four. I worked hard to get this place. I'm glad you're impressed."

"Why did you decide to buy the gym?"

"Exercising has always been a release for me that turned into a passion," he replied, not leaving me satisfied but I didn't want to get pushy.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" I said turning to look at him. He was sitting against his desk, smiling.

"First, I apologize for the phone call. It was rude not to say hello when you walked in the room. As to why we are in here? I just thought we could finally talk without any interruptions." He motioned towards the sofa and said, "Please, have a seat."

"Oh, okay, sure. What did you want to talk about?" I started to reach down for my purse, but remembered I had left all my stuff in the other room, including my bottle of water. My mouth was bone dry.

"How are things going with Matt?"

"Good," I said, not sure where this line of questioning was going.

"I don't know what Matt's told you, but if we are going to be working together, I would like us to get to know each other better," he said. His past actions hadn't given me any indication of his request.

"He doesn't seem to know too much about you. He hasn't shared anything other than that he enjoys working with you on the meetings."

Scott smirked as if he was surprised by my answer. "I usually don't work with couples because you normally would distract each other." He paused for my reaction.

"What do you mean? Have I been doing something wrong?" I'd finally asked the question that I'd been thinking every time he made an abrupt departure. The relief that came from saying it out loud made me glad I was sitting down.

"No. I just don't want Matt to get uncomfortable while I'm helping you. Sometimes, while working out, I have to touch you and I don't want him getting the wrong idea," he explained. "The testosterone can run a little high in gyms, if you hadn't noticed."

I didn't give myself time to think before I answered. "Oh, no, don't worry. He knows how serious I am about being able to protect myself. He seems to trust you and I'm a virgin, so he trusts me too." _Why the hell did I just share that?_ I tried not to close my eyes in mortification.

He lifted one eyebrow in confusion and looked at me for what felt like eternity. "I'm sorry, I just assumed since you two are dating... are you not serious about each other?"

"We are a couple. It's just that we haven't, you know, gone there yet." Opening up to him was incredibly easy, especially about something so personal. I was really hoping the conversation would end soon though, before I shared something really stupid.

After all, he was our trainer and he needed to know me better in order to know what would work best for me as an individual before I started in on the self-defense program. That was why I felt the need to explain myself. It had to be.

"Are you afraid he's with someone else?"

_Where the hell did that come from?_ "No." I got queasy. "Why, has Matt said something that would make you think that?"

He went from leaning up against his desk to sitting next to me on the couch, angling his body so he could look directly into my face. "No, he hasn't said a thing and I'm sure you have nothing to worry about, but I was his age and I don't know how he could control himself around you without some other form of release." His voice was so low, it was nearly a whisper.

I inhaled slowly to calm the acid that was making its way up into my throat. _What am I supposed to say to a comment like that?_ I just sat there looking at him, completely dumbfounded.

He leaned in closer and whispered, "If you were older, I know I couldn't control myself around you."

"You think I'm too young?" I asked without thinking.

His lips were inches from my ear. "Seducing a minor would get us both in trouble."

I felt a throb between my legs as I inhaled his scent. His body, the energy around him, positively electrified me and I felt my thoughts of Matt slide into a muted, selfish place inside. A small part of me knew this was incredibly inappropriate, that I was treading on unfaithful ground, but the rest of me was hoping Scott would take charge like I'd seen him do at the anti-bullying meetings and solve my virginity dilemma right now.

He pushed back from me and I was finally able to exhale the breath I'd been holding onto. Standing up, he reached his hand out to me and pulled me up on my feet, but then didn't let go. I stared at our hands instead of looking at him because I was afraid he would see the disappointment flash across my face.

He used his other hand to tuck a little piece of my hair behind my ear that had escaped my pony-tail. "The next few months before you're eighteen will be a test of my willpower." He pulled me towards the door. "Let's go run and let out some of this energy."

Two steps ahead of me all the way down the stairs and walking through the gym, I had the perfect opportunity to appreciate the view. His body was solid and gorgeous with wide, muscular shoulders and large hands that I could imagine being capable of pleasure I couldn't imagine. I had to look away and tamp down the urge to throw myself at him.

He picked two treadmills, side-by-side. I didn't need to warm up, so I started in with a steady jog and let me thoughts run loose.

Why would he have that conversation with me? I mean, he could be some creepy guy that goes after young girls but if that were the case, why hadn't he tried to make a move on me? His expression had been serious the whole time and he'd probably noticed the effect of his nearness on my body. Was he trying to tell me to move on from Matt because he was sleeping with someone else? Wouldn't he have just told me straight out, if that were the case?

Maybe it was a test to see what my reaction was to him hitting on me or to see if I would cheat on Matt. As close as he and Matt seemed to be, this seemed to make the most sense which meant I'd done the right thing by not doing anything.

The whole situation made me a little mad, actually, now that I was sure I'd nailed down the reason for our private meeting.

Looking over at his machine, I noticed enough time had passed that he'd started his cool-down, so I got right off mine and bolted for the doors without saying goodbye. All of that running hadn't helped calm me down at all. A cold shower was definitely in order.

I decided to talk to Matt about getting our first time together out-of-the-way. I'd make it sound more romantic, of course, but it needed to happen. I also decided not to tell Kat or anyone about my conversation with Scott. Matt would say something and I wanted Scott to think his talk had no effect on me. After thinking about it more, I was totally confident his talk had been a test. _A test I passed with flying colors._

## Chapter 10

### Katherine

The new school year had barely started and I was already yearning for graduation. That's a bad sign. I hadn't been in the greatest of moods lately and I felt bad for taking it out on Alissa. She seemed to be sidetracked lately, and wasn't talking to me as often as her typical behavior dictated. I suspected she was hiding something. We needed to have a girl's night at my house so we could stay up and I could get to the bottom of what was eating at her.

"You do know I can't read your mind," I said, hinting for information. Alissa was sitting across from me at the lunch table, lost in thought, picking at her food listlessly with a fork.

"I'm just thinking about Matt and how we need to take our relationship to the next level."

"I'm not very experienced but when contemplating having sex, shouldn't you be smiling, or at least the tiniest bit excited?" I eyed her. She looked like she was thinking about putting her dog to sleep, not having sex for the first time.

"Yeah, but it's stressing me out," she sighed.

"And?" I took a big bite of my applesauce, spilling some down my shirt.

"And, what? I'm under a lot of pressure," she yelled a little too loud. She reached across the table with her napkin to blot my shirt.

"Alissa, maybe that's a sign that you're not ready? I'm sure Matt is perfectly fine waiting a bit longer." I tried to sound confident, but I had a good idea of how boys were. Their little brains between their legs got way more screen time than the one on top of their shoulders.

"I can't make him wait longer. He's not even in high school anymore so if I don't give it up, I'm sure he won't have any trouble finding someone who will." She pinched her upper nose and I knew she was genuinely stressed out.

I was about to reply when I noticed a guy sitting further down the bench looking over at us. Instead of being mad that he was eavesdropping, I smiled because not only was he cute, he was smiling back at me.

"I'm not listening, if that's what you're worried about. I just don't know anyone and you're in my third period history class and the only face I recognize," he drawled. He scooted closer to me and held out his hand for a shake. I was about to take it, but then I remembered the only guys that talked to me were out to take my virginity.

"I don't know who you are, but that was the worst pickup line I've ever heard. Just scoot away and leave us alone." I looked back at Alissa who looked somewhat confused as her eyes traveled back and forth between the mystery guy and me.

"I'm sorry about my friend over here. She's really bad at introductions. I'm Alissa and this is Katherine." My mouth dropped open as I stared at my traitor friend.

I didn't move my eyes away from her as I heard him say, "I'm Jamison. I just moved here from Montana. I really didn't mean to interrupt."

"Not at all," Alissa said looking back at me.

"I'm sorry. I'm not much a people person." I peeked over at him and he chuckled.

"I noticed. Well, Katherine, I will see you again tomorrow. Alissa, it was nice to meet you, too." He got his stuff and went over to the trash to throw the rest of his lunch away. My eyes stayed on him until he walked through the exit doors.

Alissa reached over and smacked my arm. "Why were you so rude? He was smiling at you, dummy!"

"If you recall, the last time a guy smiled at me, he was trying to take my ladyhood. Excuse me for being slightly paranoid," I whispered.

"Ladyhood?" Alissa laughed until tears fell down her cheeks. I didn't even crack a smile because she was laughing at my expense and I felt bad for talking to Jamison like I had. Not a good first impression for the new guy.

I ended up sharing my last period with Jamison as well. I sat in the back row next to him, intending to apologize again. The teacher hadn't entered the room and everyone was talking amongst themselves. I looked over at him and he was looking at me, too.

"I'm sorry about lunch. Maybe someday I'll explain why I said what I said. Not that you would be interested, but I'm not usually like that and I just wanted you to know." I talked really fast and I had no doubt I was blushing.

He shrugged. "It's no big deal. I've been to so many schools and, trust me, you're not the first gal to assume I'm hitting on them right off the bat." His smile was so friendly and I loved his red hair. He wasn't gorgeous, but there was something about him that made my heart flutter. The teacher walked in and brought our attention back to the front of the room. I spent the rest of class trying to look at him from the corner of my eye. He was a little skinnier than I normally liked but what excited me the most was that he had no clue what had happened last year.

~*~

The rain was coming down a little harder than I liked considering I'd decided to walk home, but luckily it wasn't too far. I noticed my mom's car parked in our spot and instantly got a bad feeling. I ran inside the house and immediately screamed, "Mom? Where are you?"

"In the bathroom." She made horrible noises and I knew better than to walk in when I heard those kinds of sounds.

"Do you need anything?"

"No, stay away! I think I caught the flu."

"All right, let me know if you need me." She started gagging. _Ugh, I better not catch it._

My phone started ringing almost as soon as I laid down on the bed. It had to be Alissa because the only other person most likely to call me was camped out in the bathroom for the rest of the night.

"Hey."

"I'm coming over," Alissa belted out.

"You probably shouldn't. Mom is sick."

"Okay, then can I come pick you up so we can go talk at the coffee place?" She sounded frantic.

"Sure, I just need to change. How far away are you?"

"I'm parked outside your apartment." She hung up.

I quickly changed my shirt and walked silently toward the bathroom. I couldn't hear anything so I knocked.

"I think I'm dying." My mom sounded horrible.

"I'm going to get coffee with Alissa. Do you need me to pick up anything while I'm out?"

"No. Don't be late. I'll probably be in bed by the time you get back. Love you."

"Love you too, Mom." I ran out to Alissa's car, dodging rain-drops.

I barely had a chance to get buckled in before Alissa started ranting.

"You know, I've never understood why sex is so important. There are plenty of other things to do besides have sex. Why isn't being in my presence enough? If someone doesn't want to have sex, why is that an excuse to break up with me? Sure, I need some practice using other methods to make sure I take care of him, but it's not like he can't do it himself. It's just pathetic to cheat on someone just because you need a piece of ass. It's not like I don't have other options. I look older than I am and I'm hot, damn it!" Her car into an open parking space and if there hadn't been a curb, she would have hit the car parked on the other side.

"Wait, what? Matt cheated on you?" I was still trying to make sense of what she'd said.

"No! At least, I don't think so." She turned off the car and twisted to face me. "Scott said something the other day. I don't remember exactly what, and now I'm freaking out because we haven't slept together and he's not a virgin, so I'm sure he's frustrated. When boys get frustrated, they cheat!" She tried to calm down by taking long, deep breaths but it didn't seem to be helping.

"All right, I'm going to stop you right there. Do not be one of those girls who thinks her boyfriend is cheating all the time without knowing for sure. I know you're freaking out about the sex thing, but it's not going to be good the first time. In fact, it will probably hurt. There aren't any fireworks and no matter how hard you try to make it unforgettable, you're going to want to forget it because it'll suck. At least that's what my mom keeps telling me." I took a breath and reached out to hold her hands in mine. "If you want to have sex, then have sex. And if it's so unspectacular that it makes you consider becoming a nun, then find another guy who can give you what you need. I don't think Matt would cheat on you, for what that's worth." I looked over at her shocked face and then she busted out laughing.

"Oh, you are so right, Kat. That's why I love you." She reached for the door handle and I grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Wait, did I hear you right when you said you had other guys to move on to?"

She looked at me for a few seconds, obviously debating how to answer that question. "No. I mean, I'm sure I could find someone else if I really wanted to, but I don't want to."

I'm not sure I believed her but if there was one thing I knew about Alissa, it was that she would only share information when she was damn good and ready. "All right. Let's go get us some caffeine, woman."

The shop was dead, probably because of the rain. I stood looking at the menu above the cashier's counter when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned and was face-to-face with Jamison.

"Fancy meeting you here. Howdy to you, too, Alissa." Standing next to Jamison, my heart raced. He wasn't not attractive in an oh-my-gosh-you're-so-gorgeous kind of way but he had a definite charm and he wore cowboy boots. We didn't see that around here too often.

I stared at them a little too long because he looked down and asked, "Is there something on my boot?" He sounded worried as he looked at the tops and bottoms.

I chuckled and smiled at him. He really was too cute. "No, I was just wondering why you're wearing cowboy boots when there isn't a farm anywhere close by?" Alissa giggled at that comment.

"It's my style. Are they not cool?" He pouted and I wanted to nibble that lower lip of his.

"I have a table over there if you two want to sit with me. Maybe you can give me some good info for surviving Rochester?"

He looked so pitiful that Alissa and I couldn't help but answer, "Yeah, sure," at the same time.

I ordered my vanilla latte and Alissa got the most confusing-sounding drink, as usual. "Can I please have a venti, iced, nonfat, caramel macchiato, upside down, no whip?" she asked, digging in her purse for her wallet.

I was surprised they knew how to make it the right way. It was like hearing another language being spoken and not having a translator present.

I looked out the window on my way over to the table. The rain had stopped and the sun was shining. One of the annoying things about New York was the weather seemed to change every five minutes. I loved rain and how it made me feel so comfy. Snow had the same effect on me but there was something special about the sound of rain hitting glass windows and pattering against roofs that I found very relaxing.

Alissa talked the most during our hour-long conversation with Jamison. When we started warning him about the D.A.'s, I got a little nervous that Alissa would tell him what had happened but she kept her mouth shut, thank goodness.

What I knew more about was what varying teachers expected in their classrooms but I didn't talk on that subject for too long because I noticed two sets of eyes glassing over.

"So, I know Alissa is dating Matt, but who are you dating Katherine?" He took a sip of his coffee, looking at me over the rim of his cup.

Alissa giggled and answered for me. "Kat doesn't date. She's a writer and feels like boys are a distraction."

"I didn't say I would never. I just haven't found any guys I've wanted to date." I kicked Alissa under the table.

"That is what we would call useful information, back in Montana." Jamison pulled out his vibrating cell phone and typed out a text. "Ladies, it's time I headed back home. It was really great talking to you both. Maybe tomorrow I can join you in the lunchroom?"

"Sure, anytime." Alissa looked at me and nodded her head towards him, encouraging me to say the same.

"Of course. See you tomorrow in history."

"I'll be there." He smiled at us while putting his cell phone back in his pocket. I was disappointed he didn't ask for my phone number. We watched him walk out the door and I couldn't help but check out his butt, which was a little flat. He seemed otherwise proportionate, so I decided to overlook that flaw.

Maybe I'm a snob. It's not like I've got a long list of options.

Alissa was looking at me with a huge, goofy smile. "I don't think he looked at me but maybe twice the entire conversation," she said.

"Whatever. Am I the only one that didn't really learn anything about him?"

"Hmm, I guess not. Maybe he doesn't like to share things about himself." Alissa shrugged.

"Or maybe I'll have to go all Sherlock Holmes on his Montana ass." I looked at the time on my phone. "Let's go. I need to make sure my mom didn't pass out on the bathroom floor."

## Chapter 11

### Alissa

So far senior year hadn't sucked as much as I'd expected after what happened to Katherine. The D.A.'s stayed away from us and I imagined that was because most of them had cars and either ditched or left campus for lunch. Either way, it was for the best because I seemed to be running off of pure adrenaline since I'd started working out and I would have hated to find myself in the middle of a fight.

I avoided being alone with Scott because I really didn't want him to realize I was becoming more and more attracted to him. Matt kept him occupied, spending more time in one-on-one sessions, so I was able to do my workouts alone. It was a self-preservation method that I was finding very effective. I still couldn't make up my mind regarding our last conversation, and whether it had been inappropriate or not, but the more I thought about what he'd said, the more I wished I'd shown him just how grown-up I really was.

Matt was coming over to my house to take care of my virginity problem. I convinced my dad to take my mom out for dinner. It was a huge step and it needed to be done but the closer five-thirty came, the more nervous I felt.

_Why does this feel like a mission? I should be sharing this with someone I love, right?_ I shook my head at the girly indecisiveness trying to rear its head. _That's not the way it works, Alissa._ _Stop thinking so much about it. It's not like it's a big deal._

Matt had been with only one other girl, or so he said. He dated some girl his sophomore and junior year until he blew out his knee. I wasn't worried about him comparing us in bed because I had studied enough sex scenes online and in movies to have more than a good idea of what I was doing. I was self-conscious about my breast size, though. Push-up bras made them look bigger and although he had felt them up before, he hadn't seen me naked.

The doorbell echoed throughout the house. I looked around my room one last time, hoping my lights were dim enough. I'd decided earlier not to dress up for the occasion, knowing my clothes would soon be off.

I opened the door, greeting him with a smile. "Hey." I had no idea what to say to my boyfriend that came over so we could have sex.

"Hey," he replied, pulling me in for a hug. "Let's go upstairs," he whispered in my ear and then moved his lips to my neck, leaving little kisses.

One of the things I loved about Matt was how gentle he was when we made out. He never pushed himself on me and always made me feel loved, but my nerves were getting the better of me and I wanted to get this over with before I changed my mind.

We held hands walking up the stairs. He smacked my butt playfully with his other hand, making me squeal. I shut my bedroom door, taking a deep breath as Matt turned me around, passion burning in his eyes.

I started taking my own clothes off as we kissed, but he stopped me after I took my shirt and bra off and began unzipping my pants.

"Let me do that," Matt whispered.

"Hurry up and take your clothes off." I was getting tense thinking about how much it could hurt.

"I want to enjoy this, Alissa. I want both of us to enjoy this." He pressed up against me, kissing me deeply and I could feel his erection against my stomach.

I lifted his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor, pausing. His muscles were so well-defined that I had to take a second to appreciate them. I reached out and ran my fingertips lightly against his skin, down to his waistline, feeling the rises and indents of his musculature as my hand traversed his torso. I couldn't get the button on his pants undone, so he reached down and did it for me but I stopped him from pulling the zipper down. I wanted to see what was under there and as I dragged the zipper lower, the tip of his cock peeked out.

"No underwear, eh," I teased.

"I only wear them when I'm working out." He reached down to unzip my pants.

I wrapped my hand around his length and the skin was so soft, my hand easily glided up and down. He pulled me closer, opening his mouth against my neck to kiss me there again. His hand cupped my breast and he brought his mouth down to suck on my nipple. I felt a corresponding throb between my legs and his cock got so hard in my fist that I knew we were both ready.

He reached his hand down between my legs. His middle finger easily glided over the wetness between my folds. I held on to his arms as his finger moved around in circles against my clit.

"I love how wet I make you," he said, smiling down at me.

Matt pulled my bedspread off and laid me down on the bed slowly and positioned himself between my thighs. He handed me a condom and said, "I want you to put it on." I opened the wrapper and then looked back up at Matt. "I don't have a clue how this thing works." We both giggled but tried to stay quiet. I watched him roll it over the head of his cock. Hovering over me, he looked like he wanted to say something and I nodded "yes" assuming he was worried I wasn't ready.

He eased himself in slowly, but it hurt so bad that my hips jerked back away from his a couple of times. When he was in all the way, he paused to kiss me and said, "I love you so much." Without waiting for my reply, he pulled out a little and I held my breath as he eased himself back in all the way. He did that a couple more times and my muscles began to relax. I raised my arms over my head and he brought his mouth down over my nipple, sucking and licking.

I lifted my hips and felt his cock rub up against a part of me that felt amazing. "Oh my..." I whispered.

His face scrunched up and I felt his cock throb inside of me. He laid still for what felt like forever before pulling out and rolling on his side.

I stared at the ceiling. Just when it had started to feel good, it was over.

"How do you feel?" He looked concerned as I kept my eyes on the ceiling. I'd hoped he couldn't tell how disappointed I was.

"It hurt a lot, but then it didn't." I wanted to stretch out my aching muscles.

"No, I mean about me telling you that I love you?" He bit his lip waiting for me to reply.

_I don't think I love him but if I don't say it back, I'll hurt his feelings_. I smiled and touched his chest over his heart. "I love you, too."

He kissed my cheek. "I'm going to grab a towel. Just stay there and I'll bring you one."

I glanced down between my legs and saw a mess of blood.

Gross! I hope it isn't like this every time.

~*~

Matt left my house not long after he helped me clean up. He kept trying to cuddle so I used the excuse that I didn't want to risk my parents coming home and catching him in my room when really all I wanted was to get away from Matt. I felt smothered.

He asked me a million times if I felt okay or if he'd hurt me. Even after he left, I received a couple of texts asking me the same questions. I finally just answered, "Yes, I'm fine." I didn't want to stay home so I jumped in my car and drove to Kat's after throwing my sheets in the washer.

I was relieved when I didn't see her mom's car in the driveway. I tried letting myself in but the front door was locked, which meant she was either in the shower or taking a nap. I knocked and rang the doorbell at the same time. It didn't take long for her to open the door.

"Really? You trying to be a one-woman band?" Kat had her phone up to her ear. "Jamison, I'm going to have to call you back." She pressed the end button and threw her phone on the couch, an annoyed expression crossing her face.

"I didn't mean to interrupt. I just really needed to talk to you." I knew I sounded a little too panicky, but I wanted her full attention.

"Where is your jacket?" She looked at me like I was crazy.

"In the car, why?" She pointed out the window and I realized it was snowing. It was falling lightly, but I hadn't noticed on the way over. _I must be really out of it._ I turned back to face her with a huge smile on my face and couldn't stop myself from blurting out, "I just had sex."

Kat pulled me into a hug and held on, squeezing me. "Holy shit, how do you feel?" she squealed.

"I feel like I had a cock in between my legs that made me bleed." I wish I could have said something more meaningful, but I was frustrated. Matt had been so sweet and gentle but I couldn't help but feel cheated. "It lasted less than five minutes and just when I felt like what movies make you think it is going to feel like, _he_ was done."

She just shook her head. "I tried to tell you it would suck the first time."

I rolled my eyes and slumped against the back of the couch. "Oh, how would you know? Have you even kissed Jamison yet?" They had been talking every day since she'd gotten the nerve to ask for his phone number a week after he had been at school.

She rolled her eyes. "We've only been talking a week. And I know because mom warned me that it probably won't be great until I get older and find a man with real experience, which means the same applies to you." I knew she was right, but I had hoped it would have lasted longer. "I don't want details, but I highly suggest taking a bath. That's what they suggested in that magazine I read." She took my hand and led me into the bathroom. Kat was already wearing pajamas so when she handed me a pair, I didn't feel weird putting them on just a little after sunset.

The bath did feel good and I waited until the water turned cold before I got out. I could hear Kat laughing on the phone and had a feeling things were going well with the new boy. I dried off, got dressed and headed into the kitchen. Her mom always brought home pizza, so there were usually mounds of leftovers.

Kat joined me at the table and grabbed her own slice. "Do you feel better?"

I nodded. "The bath was a good idea. I didn't know how bad my muscles would end up hurting." I rubbed my inner thigh, still feeling the sting.

"Don't give me romance novel details or anything, but was there screaming and moaning of names?" She winked at me and stuffed half the slice in her mouth.

"It wasn't even good enough for a couple of breathy moans." I shrugged it off.

"Jamison and I went out for coffee yesterday and we had a great conversation. Well, we always have great conversations, but I noticed he looked at his phone a lot. I asked him if he was expecting a call and he just brushed it off like he was checking the time or something. Then at the end when he was walking with me back to the apartment, his phone rang and he answered it and I swear I heard a girl on the other end. He asked her if he could call her back and said he was in a meeting. I don't know why he didn't just say he was out with a friend. So, I looked at him funny, but he didn't elaborate. He dropped me off in front of my door and as he was walking towards his car, he was back on the phone."

"Have you asked him if he has a girlfriend?"

"Why should I have to ask him? Isn't that something that people generally share? Especially when we spend so much time talking?" She threw her crust on her plate.

"He's a guy, Kat. They don't share anything they don't want to unless you make them." _Mmm, this pizza is good. Sex made me hungry. So weird that I can say that now. I had sex._

~*~

A couple of days after I gave up my virginity, I felt different, more confident and definitely more empowered. Matt and I skipped out on our Thursday night workout with Scott because he wanted to spend alone time with me to talk. I didn't really want to talk, so I distracted him with kisses. We had sex again in my room while my parents were out to dinner. He probably only lasted six minutes and I still didn't have an orgasm. I began to wonder if I would ever have one with him.

I also decided to skip the Friday night meeting so I could enjoy some _me time_. Honestly, I needed a break from Matt's constant attention and phone calls. I made him promise not to text me during the meeting. That's why I rolled my eyes when I heard my text alert go off. Kat was going to the movies with Jamison, so I figured it could only be Matt.

Number unknown: Why are you not here at the meeting?

I didn't recognize the number and was not in the mood to play games.

Alissa: Who is this?

Scott: Scott. Where are you?

Alissa: How did you get my number?

Scott: I've had your number, just never needed to use it before.

Alissa: I needed a night off. Am I missing something important?

Scott: Seeing me.

Oh my gosh, play it cool, Alissa.

Alissa: Don't flatter yourself.

Scott: Well, you are missed.

Alissa: I doubt that.

Scott: Send me a picture so I can look at you.

Alissa: I just had sex for the first time with my boyfriend so I don't think sending you a picture would be appropriate.

_Why did I just say that?_ I wanted to rub it in his face the minute it happened, but I couldn't figure out why. There was something about him that drew me in and I was having more trouble fighting the need to be around him. Especially now that I wasn't afraid of sex.

Scott: Trying to make me jealous? I'm sitting here looking at Matt, thinking it would be fun if his girlfriend sent me a picture. Our secret.

Alissa: What makes you think I won't tell him?

Scott: If you were going to tell him, you would have stopped coming to the gym and told him about our last conversation.

I knew he was testing me, but why was he still flirting with me, and why was I smiling? I was supposed to love Matt, but Scott was right. It was fun flirting, knowing Matt wouldn't have a clue. It was just harmless flirting, anyway.

Alissa: I'll send you one if you send me one.

Scott: I'm at a meeting and you're teasing me.

I knew how bad it would be to send him a picture, but I walked into the bathroom and took one anyway. I left my head out of the picture just in case someone else saw. I took my shirt off, leaving me in only my black bra. When I hit the send button, I giggled to myself. He hadn't specified what type of picture and I liked that he thought I was a tease.

Scott: You have no idea what you do to me. Make sure you erase these texts. Goodnight beautiful.

He thinks I'm beautiful?

I laid in bed for hours before I finally fell asleep, thinking about how badly I wanted to talk to him. Scott, not Matt, was in my dreams that night.

## Chapter 12

### Katherine

"Did you like the movie?" Jamison asked me on our way back to my apartment. He'd taken me on our first movie date. We held hands towards the end of the movie after I'd shamelessly kept my palm up on the arm-rest separating our seats, hoping he would get the hint.

"It was okay. Not the type of movie I usually watch." I tried not to sound disappointed, but I swore to myself that I would never watch another movie with the word "die" in the title.

He laughed. We didn't have any trouble talking on the phone but in person, it seemed a little awkward. We pulled up to the apartments and I was glad my mom was home. I didn't want the pressure of inviting him in. I really liked him, but I couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding something.

"Can I walk you to the door?" He turned the car off and looked over to me for a response.

"No, it's fine. It's only a couple of feet away." I smiled at him as he was looking down at his phone. "I know this sounds weird, but do you have a girlfriend?"

His head snapped up with surprise. "What makes you think that?" He shut his phone off and gave me his full attention.

I waved it off, embarrassed that I'd even asked him. He leaned over and before I knew it, his lips were covering mine. He tasted like buttered popcorn. The kiss started with a couple of pecks, but then he parted my lips with his tongue. I tried not to laugh, but I giggled softly. I had never kissed a boy before with my tongue and it felt a little weird.

"Is something wrong?" he asked in response to my little giggle.

I knew I was turning all shades of red and felt mortified. "No, nothing's wrong. I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting a kiss."

He shook his head and smiled at me. "You're so cute when you blush." He lifted my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles.

"Thank you for the movie," I whispered.

"My pleasure."

I got out and walked up to my door. Turning around, I waved goodbye. I watched him pull away before going inside.

_He never actually gave me a straight answer about a girlfriend_.

~*~

Winter break was a month away and the snow was beginning to fall more often. I'd actually written out a Christmas list for my mom this year, not having needed to before because all I'd wanted were books. I was trying to put more effort into my appearance, so I added clothes and some other girly things to my list. My mom seemed surprised and did a little dance because she now had an excuse to go shopping for scarves, shoes, and even hair clips.

I heard the front door open and Alissa yelled, "I'm here!"

"Can you make a pot of coffee before you come back here?" It was Saturday and my mom had to work, so I'd invited Alissa over to watch a movie to pass the time before I went to dinner with Jamison.

Alissa walked into my room carrying two cups of coffee. Her dark hair was pulled up into a bun on top of her head and it looked beautiful. My best friend really was a knock out. "Thank you," I said taking my cup.

"Do you ever wear anything other than pajamas?"

I looked down and shrugged. "Not when I'm home. It's not like there's anyone around to care."

"I can't believe you don't dress up for me," she said sticking out her tongue.

"Oh baby, you know I look sexy in this old t-shirt." I used my sultry voice while batting my eyelashes, but I'm sure I sounded more like an elephant. "Where's Matt? He's been sticking to your side lately. Are you really that good in bed?"

"Yes, yes, I am. He's at his house studying, thank goodness. The guy is driving me crazy! Every time I turn around, there he is! I'm shocked he isn't coming by the school to try and eat lunch with us."

"Well, once you gave the boy some lovin', he couldn't help but want it all the time."

"It would be sweet if it weren't so irritating. I need space." Alissa got out her phone and typed a quick text. A second later, her text alert went off. I watched her type a reply, smiling like a school girl.

"Am I right to assume that was Matt?" I asked giving her an inquisitive look. I had a feeling it wasn't. Since Matt had been so clingy, Alissa's reactions to his attention had not been very lovey-dovey.

"No, it's just Scott. You know, my trainer?" she said while walking out of the living room toward my bedroom.

"Scott the trainer is making you smile like you just saw Justin Timberlake?"

"Shut up, that's not what I look like." She rolled her eyes at me and walked away, toward my bedroom. At that point, I knew I couldn't push the subject any farther because she wouldn't talk. I followed her instead.

"Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you Dillon is coming home for the holidays! He asked about you the other night and I told him I was sure you couldn't wait to see him." Alissa started flipping through the clothing magazines I had sprawled out across my bed. I wasn't sure if she realized, but every couple pages she would stick her tongue out, take a deep breath and say "ugh" on the exhale. I really did love her.

"Great! I know how much your parents have missed him." I tried to hide my smile.

"And I'm sure you haven't thought about him once, eh?" Alissa knew about my crush, but I didn't think she had said anything to Dillon. At least I hoped not because if I knew he knew, I would be mortified. "He promised to go to the L.S.A.B. holiday event. You should come too since you ditched out on Homecoming and I know you're gonna skip out on the school Winter Formal."

She was right. I bailed on every school event. We were going to miss our senior prom and walking with our class during graduation, too. I knew how much the group meant to Alissa and it wasn't like anyone would torment me at an anti-bullying party. "Ok, I'll go, but I don't want to hear one more word about it." Alissa jumped off the bed, nearly spilling her coffee so she could hug me.

"Thank you so much! It'll be fun, I promise. Bring Jamison if you want. Maybe if Dillon sees you with him, it'll make him jealous? And, hey, Walt will be there so you'll have to save him a dance." I pushed her off of me and onto the floor so she landed on her butt.

Needing to change the subject before I over-thought my capitulation and made myself sick, I said, "I'm going out for dinner with Jamison tonight and I still think he's hiding something from me."

"Okay," Alissa said, "this is what you need to do. Leave your phone here on purpose and in the middle of dinner, ask to use his phone to call your mom. Step into the ladies room and after you hang up with her, look at his text messages."

"That's brilliant. Where did you learn that trick?" I sat down on the floor, sipping my coffee.

"Scott says the best way to catch a cheater or liar is to get really good at it yourself."

I didn't know how to feel about this Scott guy. I'd seen Alissa change over the past few months and originally I'd thought it had to do with her relationship with Matt, but I was starting to think Scott had an even bigger influence on her. I really wanted to spend more time around him. "Okay, any more advice?"

"Yes, if you look at his iPad or computer, make sure you close down all programs that you open and leave the screen looking exactly the way you found it. If you leave a program open that he hasn't used, he'll know someone was snooping." She said all of this with a straight face, like everyone should know this information.

"Thanks for the advice, creeper. Let's go watch the movie."

"You could at least say it like you mean it," she said, pouting. "And I'm not a creeper."

"Oh stop, I was kidding. But really, you know so much more than you let on."

~*~

It was entirely too cold outside to even attempt to dress up, so I threw on my snow boots and a nice sweater with my favorite pair of jeans. I was nervous sitting next to Jamison in his car, not because I was with him but because I would pull off my first detective job tonight. Also, I was afraid my gut instinct would be right and I wouldn't get to hang out with Jamison anymore.

I guess it didn't matter at this point because if he had a girlfriend, I couldn't trust him. He'd never actually asked me to be his girlfriend. I'd just assumed since we had kissed a couple of times that we were becoming official. _Maybe I should ask?_

I blurted it out before I lost the nerve, "Do you consider me your girlfriend?"

He took his time answering the question, looking both ways multiple times before making a left into the restaurant parking lot. He parked the car and looked over at me with an expression I couldn't quite read. "I really want to get to know you better. Are you okay with the way things are right now?"

I wasn't really sure how to answer that. My gut told me not to rush into anything. _Do I?_ "Yes." As soon as I said it, I knew it was a lie.

He took my hand and brought it to his lips for a quick kiss. "Good, then let's go eat."

Jamison had picked one of the nicer Italian restaurants in town. I loved it here because they had the best bread sticks. We'd never held hands except at my house or in a dark theater, so we just walked side by side up to the door. _Maybe I embarrass him?_ He opened the door for me and I gave him a smile because I thought it very gentlemanly of him. The restaurant had soft Italian music playing and candle-light danced on every table from inside oversized votives. The yummy smells of bread and spices made my mouth water.

Jamison asked the waiter to seat us in the corner. "It gives us more privacy," he said. We ordered our dinner and I started telling him about my day.

"I've never met Scott, but I really don't think I like him. I'm afraid Alissa is getting a little too close to him, if you know what I mean. It's weird to me that he's talking to her so much, knowing she has a boyfriend."

"Well, we _are only_ in high school. Scott is new so it's probably exciting. I like experiencing getting to know new people. Things are so different here compared to back home."

His attitude was so cavalier about the whole situation that I finally made up my mind. I, scrunched up my nose and said, "Oh my gosh, I just realized that I left my phone at home. Can I borrow yours so I can call my mom? She should be getting off work soon and I don't want her to worry about me."

"Sure, of course."

I gave him the number and watched him open his phone and punch it in before he handed it to me.

It started ringing so I stood up and said, "Excuse me for a minute." I walked away toward the bathroom before he could object. Mom answered on the fifth ring.

"Hey, Mom, I just wanted to let you know that we made it to the restaurant safely. I left my phone at home on accident."

"Are you feeling okay? You never leave your phone. It's practically surgically attached to your hand."

"I know, but I was in a hurry to leave. Talk to you later, okay?"

"Thanks for calling to let me know. I love you, Kat."

"Love you too, Mom."

As soon as the screen lit up to show the call was disconnected I started pushing buttons. I looked at the last phone calls made and saw my number a few times and a few calls to a Kimberly. I didn't recognize the area code. He had never mentioned her but for all I knew, she could be a family member. I quickly opened up the texts and there was Kimberly again. The last couple texts were all I needed as my proof that my gut was officially spot on.

Kimberly: Miss you. Love you. xoxo

Jamison: Miss you and love you more.

Acid started creeping up into my throat, burning so much that I gagged. Thank goodness I hadn't eaten yet. I stared at the floor trying to control my breathing so tears would stay away. I needed to go home and I needed to leave right-fucking-now. There was no way I could sit at that table and eat knowing what I knew. The restaurant was too far away from home for me to walk but there was no way I could stay. I refused to make a scene and relive the mall all over again.

I walked back over to our table and handed Jamison his phone. "I'm not feeling very well. Please, take me home." I held my stomach like it was upset, which it was.

"What's wrong? We haven't eaten yet, are you sure we need to leave?"

"Yes, I need to go home. Right now." I walked away from the table toward the front door and the hostess held it open for me as I stepped into the crisp night. When I got to the car I took a couple of deep breaths, the air cold but perfect against my flushed cheeks. Jamison came out a couple of minutes later with a worried look on his face. He unlocked the car but didn't get into the driver's side. Instead, he walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"What is it? What hurts?"

I wanted to throw him off me, but I just stood there frozen. "Please, just take me home."

"Okay." He looked devastated as he walked to the other side of the car and got in. I didn't say anything the entire ride home and neither did he.

He parked the car but didn't turn it off. "Are you going to be okay? Can I call you later?"

"Why don't you just call Kimberly. She's the one you really miss, right?" I reached for the door handle, unable to bring myself to look at his lying face. Actually, I was proud of myself for being able to say anything at all.

He pushed the lock button, stalling my exit.

"What are you talking about?"

I wasn't going to let his sweet voice soothe this situation. "Look, Jamison, I know I shouldn't have, but I looked at your text messages and I know that you're in love with Kimberly. So please just leave me alone. I'm going inside and I hope you respect my feelings and never call me again."

"Katherine, it's not what you think. When my dad moved us here, Kimberly made me promise we would try the long-distance relationship thing. I can't do it but I don't want to hurt her. I really want to hang out with you more."

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

He hung his head. "I like you and didn't want you to get upset."

"I can't trust you. Next time, try being honest." I got out and didn't look back.

~*~

"Hey! How did your date go?" Alissa answered her phone on the first ring.

"He's in love with some girl named Kimberly." I could practically feel how unemotional my voice was.

"Did you kick his ass? Break his phone? Make a scene?"

"No," I sighed. "I told him to take me home."

"You didn't even ask about her?" Alissa sounded like she was scolding me.

"I did and he told me she's his girlfriend from back home. That's when I got out of the car." Irritation began to creep in.

"You let him off without so much as a fight?"

I held the phone away from my ear because she'd almost screamed that last bit.

"Fighting won't fix anything." I fell back onto my bed. "You know I don't like confrontations. If he wants to talk about it, I'll just email him and tell him to leave me alone because once he lied to me, I can't trust him. Even as a friend, I couldn't trust him."

"You can't express your anger through emails. You know that! You really need to grow some balls or people will just keep on doing this to you."

"Not what I wanted to hear from my best friend. Can't you just say you're sorry and you won't ever talk to him again either? I just want a little sympathy right now." I threw myself back on my bed.

Alissa sighed. "I'm sorry you had to go through that and next time I really hope you kick his ass and I won't ever talk to him again. In fact, if he tries to talk to me, I'll kick his ass myself. Better?"

"Better."

"I'm really proud of you," she said.

"Why is that?"

"You had your first date, first almost boyfriend, and first break up all in one night and survived."

"Yeah, I suppose I did. Now on to the next one, right?" I asked, knowing that's what she was thinking.

"Exactly. I'm glad you listen to me."

"Love you, dork." I giggled at my best friend standing up for my broken heart. "I'm going to bed."

"Love you, too. And don't forget Dillon is coming home and would make a great rebound." I ended the call because I couldn't disagree more. Dillon was too good for that.

That night I didn't cry myself to sleep. Jamison was not worth crying over. The company was the only thing I'd miss.

I shifted my thoughts to Dillon. I couldn't wait to see him again. I decided to let Alissa dress me up and do my makeup. She would have fun with that and hopefully, _hopefully_ , make me look beautiful.

## Chapter 13

### Alissa

Scott and I had flirted shamelessly through texts after I had sent him the picture. I even volunteered to help organize the L.S.A.B. Christmas party so I could be around him more without Matt flipping out. Matt had been so jealous lately of any guy I spoke to or even looked at. I felt smothered.

Scott warned me that we needed to be careful. He always reminded me to erase texts or not to call him unless he sent me a text back to give the all clear. I did feel bad flirting so much with someone other than my boyfriend, but at the same time, knowing how wrong it was excited me and pushed me to do it more.

I'm such a bad girl.

I felt weird walking through a gym with a winter jacket and boots on while everyone already inside was wearing workout clothes and sweating. I left my jacket on until I got to his office since my shirt was so low-cut. God forbid Matt was here because I knew he would freak out in front of everyone and drag me to my car before anyone even realized what they were looking at.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the office door and walked in on a shirtless Scott talking on his phone. His shirt was draped around his neck and his back was facing me, giving me the perfect view of a tattoo running from his left shoulder blade across to his lower right back. It was a weird design that I couldn't explain, but I had to stop myself from reaching out to trace the design with my fingers. _Or my tongue._

I stood there watching him, unable to hear either side of the conversation because I was lost in a trance. He ended his call and turned around, catching me staring at him, with a smile on his face. It was obvious he liked my stare.

"Hey, doll. How are you this fine day?" He moved in closer to me but I stood still. No one had ever given me such a sexy nickname before and coming from him, it made me want to taste the word on his lips as he said it.

"Hey, yourself. I'm great. How are you?" I was shocked I sounded coherent. He was now just inches from me so I could smell the scent of his cologne and sweat. I forced my eyes forward because looking up into his blue eyes would give away the pure desire spiking my blood for him to damn the consequences and kiss me.

He put his finger under my chin and pushed up, forcing me to look at his face. "I don't want you to be afraid of me. Just because we can't touch until you're eighteen doesn't mean we can't use other ways to enjoy each other's company."

I didn't understand what he was saying and instead of asking and looking stupid, I tried to change the subject. "Are you ready to go over how much this party is costing you?"

He chuckled still holding his finger under my chin. "No, I don't want to go over numbers and I told you, I trust you not to go over and beyond. What I want is to enjoy the time we have together. You flirt with me on the phone and drive me crazy. Now put your bag down, take off your jacket, and come sit with me on the couch."

I nodded and complied with his demands. I didn't want to take my eyes off him because I was afraid if I looked away he wouldn't be there anymore. My body started feeling very hot so I sat down on the side opposite him so what we weren't touching at all. He threw his arm over the back of the couch and angled toward me. I copied him because I wasn't sure what else to do. Every nerve in my body was begging to be touched. I had never wanted to throw myself at anyone before so desperately.

He jumped up from the couch not saying a word and my eyes followed him as he walked over to his desk.

"I have a gift for you but before I hand it to you, I want you to promise me you'll only think of me when using it. Only me. Can you make that promise?" he whispered darkly, lifting an eyebrow.

"I promise." The words barely came out of my mouth.

"Good." He reached in a drawer and pulled out a small box. As he walked back over to the couch, my eyes drifted all over his body. I wanted to beg him to let me feel every inch of him, but I didn't. Begging would be childish.

Scott held the box out for me but when I reached for it, he pulled it back. I gave him a devilish smile, liking his little game.

"Tell me you want me first." He stared at me, slightly sticking out his tongue and licking the inside of his lips.

"But you already know that." I reached my hand out and he relented, giving me the box.

I waited until he sat back down to open it. Inside this little, silver box was a bullet looking thing with a metal tip and black base. He must have sensed I didn't know what I was looking at because he chuckled, a soft, low sound that went straight between my legs. "Doll, you look so sexy when your naiveté shows all over your face."

_That is not how I want him to see me!_ "I'm glad I amuse you. Now, could you please explain what this is?" I inspected whatever this was, turning it around in my hands.

"It's a vibrator," he said seriously while keeping his eyes right on me.

I laughed because he had to be kidding but his expression remained serious and I saw something in his eyes I didn't recognize. I wasn't scared, but I felt a little uneasy.

"You want me to use this and think about you?" He was certainly taking our flirting to a higher level. I felt my body turn red from embarrassment, not because he'd given me the gift but because it turned me on so much.

"Have I insulted you with my gift?" He leaned over as close as he could get to my face without touching me. "I was going to ask you to use it in front of me, but I wouldn't be able to keep my hands to myself."

His face was still right in front of me, and as I looked into his eyes, my heart stopped. Needing to stay in control, I brought my mouth inches away from his ear and whispered, "I have no idea what you're doing to me, but I don't want you to stop." I inhaled slowly, catching his scent once more. He breathed out with a quiet sigh. I pursed my lips together and slowly blew air right below his earlobe, watching with pleasure as goose-bumps formed along his jaw line and neck.

I leaned back against the couch, putting space between us again. He slowly opened his eyes, smiled, and nodded. Turning him on made me feel sexy.

"Matt told me your brother is coming into town?" Scott's facial expression went from lust to serious as fast as I blinked. The last thing I wanted to talk about while being turned on was my brother. "Yeah, and I think Matt's a little nervous about meeting him."

I couldn't believe we were talking about my brother and my boyfriend after the moment we'd just shared.

"So you and your brother are close?"

I nodded. "Very close. It was always him, Kat and I as far back as I remember." I started giggling. "Kat actually has a crush on him now. It's really cute."

"If he doesn't like Matt, what will you do?" He ran his fingers through his hair, still looking at me intently.

I wasn't sure where this discussion was going, but I felt weird talking to Scott about Matt. I wasn't sure if he was asking me in order to gather details about my relationship or if he was hoping I would tell him that I was dumping Matt to be with him. "I don't know. He's been acting so strange lately and smothering me, it may be time to take a break anyway." Now I was testing him. All it would take was him asking me to break up with Matt so that we could be together and he'd own me.

"Matt is just young and he's trying to figure out what to do with his life. I think he loves you and it's stressing him out." _Now he's defending Matt?_ I didn't get Scott at all.

"I guess time will tell, but I don't think I could be with anyone that my brother doesn't like." I picked up my stuff from the floor so I could leave. The discussion was making me mad. He came on strong and then backpedaled by asking about my family?

Scott noticed and put himself between me and the door. "Don't forget, that gift is only to be used when you're thinking about me."

"Is this some kind of game?" I hadn't thought before I'd blurted out my question but I had to know if he was playing with me.

His smile actually got bigger. "Life is just a game. A game between fate and us. I guess you could say I'm playing a game to see if I can keep my hands off you until you turn eighteen. I'm playing a game with you to see if you feel what I'm feeling. But it's fate that will answer the question if we really belong together."

I nodded. He stepped away. Once I was through the door, I wanted to scream in frustration. _Why do guys insist on being so confusing?_

~*~

Matt came over to my house later that night and we decided to watch a movie in the family room. I didn't want to be alone with him in my room.

I couldn't get comfortable sitting next to him. I don't know if it was because I kept thinking about what had happened earlier with Scott or if I just didn't feel the same about him anymore. I kept wiggling around, trying to find a comfortable position. He took that as me trying to flirt and started tickling me.

"Get off! I'm trying to watch the movie," I said trying not to laugh because he was hitting all my ticklish spots.

He threw me on the floor and pinned me down. "You're such a little flirt. If you want me to pay attention to you instead of the movie, all you have to do is ask instead of being so squirmy."

"I was trying to get comfortable. Now let me go." I tried moving my whole body to throw him off but didn't realize just how strong he was getting.

"Give me a kiss first." He leaned in and puckered.

"No way! You have popcorn breath, and I'm sure I have kernels stuck in my teeth."

His cell phone beeped and when he reached for it in his pocket I took the opportunity to sneak out from under his grip.

"That was Scott. He wants to talk to me first thing tomorrow morning." He stuffed the phone back in his front pocket.

"I wonder what he wants." My stomach clenched thinking about Scott telling Matt about what had happened. I relaxed a little almost immediately when I remembered how much Scott liked this thing we had going. There was no reason he would end the fun, I assured myself.

"You know Walt asked about Kat again the other day. I really think he's into her."

"Ugh. Not going to happen. Besides, with Dillon coming back into town, she'll be totally sidetracked." I put my head on the armrest and threw my legs over his lap.

"What about Jamison?"

I'd forgotten to tell him about Jamison so I gave him a brief summary.

"What an ass." Then, "Maybe if Dillon and Kat are consumed with each other, it'll give your brother less time to not like me." I knew by the way his brows dipped that he was really worried.

I laughed knowing that Dillon knew all about my trials and tribulations with Matt, since I shared everything with him. Well, nearly everything. I hadn't told him about Scott because that was my dirty little secret. "Are you really that worried?"

"Well, yeah. Especially since I feel like you've been distant lately and I hope everything is okay between us." He pouted and I realized that the expression that used to turn me on now just made me want to smack it off his face.

"Stop worrying. Besides, why don't you just ask me what's bugging me if you think something's off," I challenged.

"Okay," he turned his whole body towards me. "What's bugging you?"

"How about the fact that since we had sex, you are interested in my every move and in every conversation I have with someone. A girl needs to breathe, Matt."

"You're _mine_ , Alissa. In more ways than anyone can ever imagine. You have no idea how badly I want to hold on to you and protect you from the world." That would sound romantic if he didn't have an "I'll kill you if you leave me look" in his eyes. He was starting to scare me. Being clingy was one thing, but telling me that I was his was downright obsessive.

"Just give me a little space, okay? I promise everything will be fine." I hoped he couldn't tell that was a lie. I knew our relationship wasn't going to last much longer. I'd even told Dillon to be nice but not waste his time getting too close. I had bigger fish to fry.

I pretended to fall asleep toward the end of the movie. Matt didn't wake me up because he thought it was a rude thing to do so he gave me a kiss on my forehead and told me he loved me before he let himself out.

## Chapter 14

### Katherine

The last couple of weeks before Christmas break went by entirely too slow. I signed up to take three online classes during the spring semester at the community college and Alissa was able to sign up for a workout class at the gym she already went to, along with a couple of online classes. I was excited about starting my new academic chapter.

Alissa used my heartbreak over Jamison as an excuse to spend more time with me, away from Matt. I didn't really notice much of a change in him because he'd always been moderately clingy but Alissa seemed to think he had changed tenfold. I just wanted my best friend happy.

We were eating lunch together at our normal table when I noticed Alissa kept checking her phone. "Are you expecting to hear from someone?" I asked around a mouthful of food.

"No," she pouted. "I'm just making sure I don't have any new texts or emails."

"Are you still going to come over and help me get ready for the party?" I gave her my pathetic puppy dog face. "I really want to look my best for Dillon."

"Yes, absolutely!" She clapped her hands in excitement. The fun Alissa I knew and loved had been hiding lately, and she wouldn't talk to me about what was really going on with her. What I did know was that not all of her distractions were based on Matt.

"When does Dillon get into town?"

"Tomorrow night."

I was about to ask her another question when I felt something hit the back of my head. I reached around to touch the spot and felt something warm and mushy.

"What the hell just hit my head and who hit me?" I turned to the side while Alissa jumped up from her seat. I thought she was going to wipe off whatever was in my hair, but she walked to the table behind us. She grabbed Kelly's lunch tray and spilled what was left over her head. Kelly jumped up and took a swing at Alissa, but she was fast enough to dodge Kelly's fist.

"Alissa, come back!" I tried to scream but the D.A.'s were talking all at once and she couldn't hear me. Kelly tried to punch her again, but this time Alissa grabbed her arms and held them behind her.

"If you ever throw food at my friend again, you'll be walking home on crutches. Got it?" she warned, getting right in Kelly's face. I had never seen Alissa so mad before and certainly had never heard her threaten anyone.

Kelly just laughed and tried to kick at Alissa, but Alissa's grip on her was so tight she couldn't move. One of the lunch ladies walked over and told both girls to go to the principal's office. Alissa let go of Kelly and walked toward the exit. Kelly grabbed her stuff and looked over at me.

"Nice hair, loser." She laughed as she followed behind Alissa.

Jamison, of all people, walked up to me and asked, "Do you need help with anything? Are you okay?" He stood there with his hands in his pockets.

"No, thank you." I said, not wanting to look at him.

"Can we talk about what happened between us?"

"There's nothing to talk about, especially when I have food in my hair," I replied.

He nodded and walked away.

I gathered my backpack and Alissa's before heading to the bathroom to clean up my hair. It had all happened so fast, my mind was still trying to process what had actually happened. Alissa must have been out of her mind to stand up to Kelly. It was pretty awesome to see, though. I smiled through the anger.

~*~

Alissa got off lucky with only a warning at school. The principal pulled me into his office so that I could explain what had happened to Alissa's mom after she'd somehow convinced him that it would help. Her mom was still mad, but hearing my side softened the blow and she wouldn't ground my fierce protector as long as she promised to stay away from Kelly.

Getting ready for the party had activated every nerve in my body. Alissa kept smacking my bouncing legs as she tried to put on my makeup.

"Sit still, woman! If you don't calm down, I'm going to end up stabbing you in the eye with this liner. It's just a party and you've known Dillon since we were both in diapers."

I took a couple of deep breaths and placed my hands under my butt to help with the shaking.

"Besides, you're going to look fabulous. I'm almost done with your makeup which means you can put your dress on." Alissa already had her makeup on and had gotten her hair done at a salon. "And... finished. Now go look in the mirror and tell me what a genius I am."

I walked over to the mirror and didn't recognize the girl who was staring back at me. My hair was shiny and straight, framing my face. My smoky eyes looked amazing and my lips had the perfect amount of gloss. "Alissa, wow! Even I think I look hot!"

"Now that is a compliment. Go get dressed so we can get there before everyone else and make sure the room looks perfect." She pushed me into the bathroom where my dress was hanging on the curtain rod.

Alissa's dress was a beautiful red empire cut gown that looked amazing with her black hair. Mine was a dark blue pencil straight dress that really showed off my curves with a slit going up one side that was a little high. I made a mental note to hold onto the dress so it wouldn't open up very much.

We both piled into Alissa's car and drove over to the gym. Scott had closed it early for the party and the boys would all be meeting us there.

Walking through the side doors of the gym into what was usually the L.S.A.B. meeting room was like stepping into a magical fairytale. The room was full of sparkling blue lights and the tables running along one side of the room had mountains of food on top of glowing platters that changed from red to blue to green, each with a small centerpiece that had dry ice steaming over onto the white tablecloths. Half of the high school orchestra was set up on a high-rise, all dressed in tuxes or gowns, quietly tuning their instruments.

"Alissa, this is beautiful," I said wide-eyed. I was truly impressed by my best friend's efforts.

"Thanks. Hopefully Scott will feel the same way and not freak out over how much I spent." She looked around the room then shrugged at me and mouthed, "Oops."

"From the sounds of it, you may have him wrapped around your finger," I whispered, holding up my pinky.

"Oh, I hope so." She smiled bigger than I had seen in a while and crossed her pinky with mine, though she must have seen how her words confused me.

"What does that mean, exactly?" I looked over at Alissa but she didn't reply because a gorgeous man had come to stand next to us.

"Good evening, Alissa. This must be the Katherine I've heard so much about? I apologize for not taking the time to meet you the last time you were here." I didn't think I could manage a reply. I was on the verge of drooling all over myself.

"You're right. Kat, this is Scott." Alissa nudged me a little when I didn't say anything back.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Scott." I had not expected Scott to look like he had just stepped out of a magazine, all Photoshopped and gorgeous. It was no wonder Alissa had been distracted.

Matt and Walt walked in, snapping me out of my daze as Matt walked straight over to Alissa, gave her a kiss on the cheek and started complimenting her on how gorgeous she looked tonight. I couldn't help but notice that Alissa wasn't taking her eyes off Scott. Walt walked up to me and took my hand, kissing my knuckles.

"Wow, Katherine, you sure dress up nicely." His leering smile was even more disturbing than the suggestion in his voice.

"How's college going, Walt?" I attempted to take his attention off my dress and pulled my hand from his.

"Good, but I miss having lunch with you and Alissa. It was the highlight of my day. Make sure you save me a dance." He actually winked at me like that should have impressed me. I looked around the room hoping Dillon would show up soon. I couldn't get the butterflies in my stomach to stop fluttering.

"Matt, Kat and I are going to go backstage to make sure everything is set up. Could you please keep an eye out for my brother? He'll be dressed all Army-like." Alissa grabbed my hand and pulled me away, looking very annoyed.

"What's wrong?" I could always tell when something was bugging her even when she tried to hide it.

She rolled her eyes and grumbled, "I just wish Matt would lay off the touchy stuff in public."

"You never had a problem with it before and now that he's a college guy, I thought you would be happy to show him off."

"I just don't like it when he has to show everyone that we're together. Everyone here knows we're a couple so why doesn't he just lay off?"

"Does this have anything to do with Scott? Or how he was standing there watching the two of you?" I already knew the answer to that because no matter how hard she denied that nothing was going on with Scott, I could tell that at the very least she had a crush on him. I didn't want to think about it going farther than that.

"Just forget it. You don't understand."

"Then help me understand! I'm your best friend we used to tell each other everything, but lately you've been holding back on me." I pulled her to a stop so she would look at me.

"Please just let it go. I'm going to talk to the orchestra. Could you go back out front and look out for Dillon? Make sure Matt doesn't say anything stupid." She turned on her heel and headed towards the riser without another word. I looked back at the boys and didn't see Dillon, so I decided to head to the ladies room for a quick make-up check.

When I walked back out, the room was glowing with Christmas lights. I was looking up at the ceiling, lost in the glow, when I felt a hand cup my cheek and realized Dillon stood before me. We locked eyes like we hadn't seen each other in decades and he pulled me in for a hug, but instead of the bear hugs he usually gave, this was softer. He held me like I could break.

"Katherine, you look amazing. I've never seen anyone so beautiful."

I felt myself blushing but didn't care because Dillon had just called me beautiful.

"Look at you. So official and handsome."

"Official wasn't exactly the look I was going for, but I can't help that." He chuckled and took my hand. "I had the pleasure of meeting Matt and Scott but the only person I want to be around right now is you." He looked down, blushing the moment he said that to me.

I could have melted right there on the floor. I smiled and squeezed his hand. "We'd better find Alissa or she'll never forgive me for stealing her brother all night." I looked around the room and saw her standing by the drinks talking to Scott. Matt was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Walt. _Thank goodness._

Alissa met us halfway almost in a run and threw her arms around her brother. "Thank you so much for coming! What do you think?" She pointed all around the room.

"You did an amazing job, sis. Thank you for the invite. Scott, I hear you're quite the Drill Sergeant. Think she'll be ready to join the Army, soon?"

"No way, Dillon. I'm just learning how to defend myself. Scott is a great teacher." She looked at him the same way she used to look at Matt. Scott didn't seem to be returning the look, though.

More people arrived and I grew excited as the band started playing, thinking maybe Dillon would ask for a dance. The next song was a slow Christmas melody. Dillon excused himself from the table and I was about to lose hope but he faced me, grabbed my hand and led me onto the dance floor without a word.

Our bodies pressed together, fitting perfectly. I could feel him breathing in my ear as our cheeks pressed together. We moved to the music, staying as close as possible. When the song ended, I looked into his eyes. Something between us had changed. I didn't think I could want any other man but him for the rest of my life.

The next song was a little faster so I excused myself. I had to go wash the sweat off my hands. I hated that I got sweaty when I was nervous. On my way back to the table from the ladies room, Walt stepped out in front of me.

"Hey, Katherine. I was wondering if I could have the next dance?"

"Thanks, Walt, but I think I'm going to sit a few out and catch up with an old friend."

He didn't move. "Can I at least steal you for one second to show you something I made?"

I didn't want to be rude around Christmas so I agreed. He led me behind the orchestra, through the curtains. "What are you showing me? Is it a present for your girlfriend?" _Oh please have a girlfriend._

"Nope. It's something special just for you." He walked to the very back where it was dark and all I could make out were boxes.

"You didn't have to make me anything." My arm hairs started to stand up.

"I haven't made it yet. But I'm about to." He threw me up against the wall and pinned me back with his large-framed body.

"Walt, what the hell are you doing?" He covered up my mouth with his hand.

"If you scream... if you say one word, I will snap your neck. Do you understand me?" I nodded. I had no idea what to do. My body was shaking. He ran his hand up and down my leg where the slit I had been aware of all night was now torn open.

"You're so beautiful. I've wanted to touch you since the first time I met you. I've dreamed about touching you and kissing you and making you scream my name." His lips kissed my neck and he ran his tongue up and down like he was tasting me.

"But you had to go and be with someone else, didn't you? I tried to be patient because I know I'm the only one that can make you happy. Why can't you understand that? Why do you keep ignoring me?" He grabbed my butt and pressed against me harder. His hand left my leg and moved up my dress. His fingers started rubbing me through my panties. I wanted to scream, but his threat was still ringing in my ears.

"You know you want this too, Katherine. You know you want me right here." He pushed his finger under my panties and rubbed all over, and I was ashamed that my body reacted to his revolting touch. "See, already you're getting wet for me. You should only get wet for me, no one else. Do you understand that?"

Tears started running down my cheeks as I nodded to keep him from getting angry.

This can't be happening. Please someone help me!

## Chapter 15

### Alissa

I saw Kat walk out of the bathroom and I was about to catch up with her to get the scoop on that dance she just had with Dillon, but Matt showed up. He was grinning.

Why is everything about him irritating me?

"What's that smile for?"

"I'm just happy." His smile diminished slightly. "I don't think your brother likes me very much."

"What makes you think that?" I know I sounded sarcastic, but I was not in the mood for his insecurities at the moment.

"You know what I'm talking about. Even you are being cold tonight. Let's go sit down next to him and you can see what I mean." I followed him over to the table.

"Alissa, do you know where Katherine went?" Dillon was looking around with a worried look on his face.

"I just saw her. I'm sure she'll be right back."

"I saw her go into the back with Walt." Matt's smile returned which made me feel uneasy.

"Walt? Why didn't you go save her? I told you he creeps her out." He was such an idiot. "Come on, Dillon, let's go find her." Matt stood up with us and led the way without being asked.

The moment we passed through the curtains to the back, I could feel something was wrong. I quickened my pace, passing Matt, but Dillon was faster. He must have felt it, too. When we reached the back, I couldn't really see anything, but I heard soft crying. Two shadows were hidden behind a stack of boxes. "Kat? Is that you," I asked, squinting my eyes hoping to see better in the dark, but she didn't answer. Dillon threw the boxes aside and reached for one of the figures, throwing someone down to the ground.

Kat pushed herself around Dillon and ran into my arms sobbing. "What happened? Why are you crying?" She couldn't answer as her crying intensified. I looked down at the ground and watched Dillon punch someone. The back lights came on and Matt turned the corner rushing over to Dillon and Walt. Walt was on the ground, his face covered in blood as Dillon continued to rain blows down on him. Matt wrestled Dillon off Walt, pinning him against the wall, but only barely.

Scott and a couple more guys came running towards us. "What the hell is going on back here?" Scott was looking between all of us, anger and confusion warring on his face.

"I don't know what happened. We came back here looking for Kat. Is he dead?" I pointed to Walt but held on tight to Kat with the other arm.

Scott bent down to check on him while Matt was holding Dillon back against the wall.

"That son of a bitch was hurting Kat! Let go of me, damn it! Let go!" Dillon had a murderous look on his face and I wanted to run to him, but Kat needed me more. I knew Scott could handle the boys, so I rushed Kat out and straight to the bathroom. Everyone was watching us and the music had stopped.

I sat down on the bathroom floor with Kat and let her cry. I knew I could get answers later but adrenaline was rushing through my veins and I couldn't sit still.

"Kat, we have to go back out there. We need to call the police. I won't leave your side, I promise." She grabbed me tighter and cried even harder.

"He tried to hurt me but didn't. Please don't call the cops. Please? Please don't make me have to tell anyone. Please?" I didn't answer her because I couldn't do what she asked.

I wouldn't let Walt get away with this.

I heard sirens and there was a knock before Scott opened the bathroom door, waving at us to come out.

"Kat, the cops are here and we are all going to need to make statements. I promise I will stay with you. Okay?" She nodded slightly and let me help her up but hid her face in my shoulder as we walked straight out to the ambulance. One of the EMT's wrapped her up in a blanket and had her sit on the back of the vehicle. Another ambulance pulled up and rushed through the doors with a stretcher in tow, returning just moments later with Walt strapped in.

I looked around for Scott or Dillon but didn't see either of them. Matt came rushing out of the door toward us. He had blood stains on the front of his shirt.

"What is going on? Where are Scott and Dillon?" I knew I sounded desperate. He looked at me like I'd punched him in the gut.

"Scott is in there with Dillon while the police question him."

I nodded and got back to consoling Kat, trying to wipe off the mascara that was running down her cheeks. One of her dress straps was torn, and the slit over one leg in front that had been a slight tease earlier had been ripped open almost to her waist.

A couple of minutes later, an officer walked over and asked to speak with Kat alone. I took the opportunity to go inside and find Dillon. He was sitting down handcuffed while one of the EMTs was putting bandages on his knuckles. Another officer stopped me before I could get any closer to my brother.

"You need to leave, Miss."

"That's my brother and I want to know what's going on."

"I'm okay, Alissa. They are going to take me down for questioning. Call Mom and Dad and have them meet us there."

"Questioning for what, exactly? He just saved my friend from being attacked."

"Miss, he beat another man unconscious. He needs to go to the station for questioning."

After his bandaging was completed, the officers stood my brother up and took him away, leaving only Scott and I standing there, bewilderment hovering in the air between us.

"I have to go." I turned to walk away, but Scott stopped me and pulled me into his arms.

"Call me if you need anything. Anything at all." I didn't want to let go. I wanted to close my eyes and make this all go away. _Get it together, Alissa. This isn't about you._

"Thank you, I will."

I ran back to where Kat was being loaded into the second ambulance and said, "I'll meet you down at the hospital. I'm calling your mom."

She nodded at me. I had never seen her look so scared and it tore at my heart.

~*~

Kat's mom arrived at the hospital only a couple of minutes after I did. The staff wouldn't let me go back into the room, so Kat's mom promised to call me when she could have visitors. I left the hospital without bothering to get any information about Walt's condition.

Pulling up to the police station, I spotted my dad's car and parked next to him. I had never been in a police station so I wasn't even sure where to go. Luckily, my mom was sitting in the waiting area just inside the front door. She pulled me into a hug the moment she saw me.

"What's going on? Have they let Dillon go yet?" My voice was shaking.

"Not yet. I think they may want to ask you a few questions as well just to back up his side of the story." My stomach knotted up. Any time I knew I could get into trouble, I started to feel nauseous. Not that I'd get in trouble for any of this, but the feeling was the same.

"I'm not even sure what Walt was doing to Kat. It was dark and I know I saw Dillon jump on Walt and punch him, but I didn't see anything else. Kat didn't tell me anything, so what am I supposed to say?"

"Tell them what you just told me. That's all you can do." My mom sat down and pulled me into the chair next to her. We sat there silently, holding hands until my dad approached us and we both stood up at the same time. He did not look happy.

"Walt still isn't awake and they need to talk to Kat, but she's in with a counselor and Walt's father put his lawyer in contact with ours. We need to go home and wait for updates." My mom nodded at him and they turned towards the door.

"Wait. So, Dillon has to stay in custody until they get their shit together? He's not the bad guy here!" I said a little too loudly.

"Watch your language. I know you're upset, but we have to play by the rules. Let's go home and wait until we figure out what's going on." Dad gave a sharp jerk of his head and then was walking out the exit.

How can he be so calm right now?

I got to my car and called Scott. I explained to him what was going on while still sitting in the station parking lot. He tried to reassure me, but I was still too agitated to go home. I decided to go back to the hospital, hoping Kat's mom would have an update.

I asked the nurse sitting at their station to let Kat's mom know I was there. Waiting in a tiny room with other families that were crying and making phone calls did not help my out-of-control emotions. I was so tired I ended up falling asleep in my chair. Kat's mom woke me up a while later to let me know Kat was ready to go home. She asked me not to follow her home so that Kat could try and get some sleep. I made her promise to call me first thing in the morning.

I cried myself to sleep for the first time in a really long time.

~*~

The first thing I did when I woke up was check my phone. I had a couple of missed texts from Matt asking for updates but no calls. I didn't remember seeing him after everything had happened but I hadn't been looking for him, either.

Alissa: Where were you last night after the cops showed up?

Matt: I was with Walt.

Alissa: So after what he did to my friend, you stayed with him? Not me?

Matt: Let's not do this over text. Can I come over? I feel really bad about what happened.

Alissa: No. You should feel bad.

I threw my phone on my bed and walked downstairs to see if there was news about Dillon. Passing by the hallway window, I could see snow falling. New York got a lot of snow, and during each snowfall, Kat and I would sit for hours, talking or just enjoying the quiet together. I fought back tears as I climbed down the rest of the stairs.

She'd better be okay.

My dad was on the phone when I reached the kitchen and my mom was making a pot of coffee. Neither of them looked like they'd gotten any sleep. I walked over to my mom first and gave her a hug.

"Anything new?"

"Your father is talking to one of his partners at the firm. Dillon is still at the station and Walt hasn't woken up." Her hand was shaking as she tried to put water in the coffee machine. Water spilled everywhere and my mom gave a broken sob.

"Go sit. I'll finish that."

I heard a knock on the door. My temper started to boil because I could guess who was probably on the other side. I looked through the peephole and sure enough, there stood Matt. I put on my jacket and slippers before opening the door. I didn't want to let him in, so I walked outside and stood on the porch with my arms crossed.

"I know you told me not to come over, but I really need to talk to you." He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Make it fast."

"I know I should have stayed with you last night but you have to remember, I've been working with Walt for a long time and never did I think he was capable of hurting someone. I thought maybe Dillon was over-reacting to Walt being alone with Kat. After I left the hospital, Scott called me and told me what happened. He told me to leave you alone for the rest of the night so you could have some space." He looked down avoiding my stare.

"Don't use Scott as your excuse not to call me. Do you have any idea what I'm going through right now? What my parents and my brother are going through? Kat and her mom? You don't just stay away when people need you the most." I choked on my angry tears, forcing them not to fall.

"Okay, you're right. I get that, but Scott has been really pushing Walt to go after what he wants. I think Walt may have taken it the wrong way. Then I encouraged him to ask Kat to dance because I wanted more time with your brother so I could make a good impression. I don't think it is all Walt's fault."

"No." I shook my head and took a couple of steps back. "No. Don't you dare blame anyone other than Walt. No one can make you do things like _that_. No one can make you hurt someone. Now go home and if I feel like it, I will call you later." I walked back inside and stood by the door until I heard his car pull out of the driveway.

"Was that Matt?" My dad was off the phone, finally.

"Yes, he needed to get going." I sat down at the table and held on to my coffee cup until my hands stopped shaking.

"Are you okay, honey? Maybe you should go back to bed for a while." My mom looked at me, concern pushing additional strain across her face. She was the one that needed to go back to bed, but I didn't want to say that in case it upset her.

"I think I'll go take a shower and then check on Kat. Call me, text me, whatever you need to do once you hear anything about Dillon?"

"Of course," my mom and dad said in unison.

## Chapter 16

### Katherine

I wasn't sure what was worse — freezing up when Walt had attacked me or having to re-count the story over and over. The nurse at the hospital ran tests and gave me my first "woman" exam, even though I told her he hadn't gotten that far. Their protocol overruled everything I had to say. It didn't help my mom's freaking out when they asked to run extra tests. The counselor thought I may have been hiding information or not wanting to share things because I was in denial. Honestly, I think I was the only sane person in that room.

I wanted to call Alissa when I got home, but my mom crawled in bed with me and made sure I fell asleep right away, even though I didn't. I heard her crying at one point but nothing I could say would make her feel any better.

I didn't dream about the attack like the counselor had warned I would.

The next morning I woke up alone and could finally breathe again. I was a little sore where Walt had tried to force his fingers and along my back where he'd pinned me against the wall. I was lucky nothing else had happened, though it would take a while before I was no longer embarrassed. The stupid classes on what to do if you faced an attacker they offered during P.E. had ended up being completely useless in the face of what had happened last night.

I walked into the kitchen and found my mom staring into her coffee mug.

"Do you need a refill?"

Her head shot up straight and I knew I had startled her. "Actually, I need to make another pot. Do you want a cup?" She looked like she hadn't slept a wink and I felt guilty for not consoling her when I'd heard her crying.

"Sure. Please." I sat down at the table and watched her fumble around the kitchen. The smell of coffee perked me up some. My mom stood by the coffee maker watching it trickle down slowly into the pot. "I'm sorry I scared you last night, Mom. I know I shouldn't have followed him into the back room, but it never crossed my mind that he would end up being a perv," I smiled a little trying to use humor so I wouldn't cry.

She looked over at me and I could see the tears forming in her eyes. "Kitty Kat, this was in no way your fault. Why would you apologize? I just can't stop thinking about what _could have happened_." She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose fiercely.

"I froze up. I know I'm stronger than that, I could have stopped him from getting as far as he did, but I froze. It was stupid and really, I just don't want to ever talk about it again." I played with my fingernails to have an excuse to look down, aware that my mom was standing next to me, but I couldn't look at her. She looked like she had been through hell and I couldn't take that back.

She leaned down and hugged me from the side. "If I hear you blame yourself one more time or say how stupid you were, I'll start drawing pictures all over the covers of your beloved books. No one deserves what you went through, Kitty Kat," she said, pulling me in for a full hug. Mom and I had never been good at expressing feelings out loud, so whenever we had something deep to talk about, we typically wrote each other letters.

I wanted to ask about Walt and find out what had happened to Dillon but by the time she set my coffee down in front of me, I realized the discussion would only upset her more. I made my mom go back to bed and promised not to leave the apartment or even open the door unless I was positive about who was on the other side. Once I was sure she was asleep, I went back into my room and called Alissa.

She answered on the first ring. "Oh my God, Kat! Are you okay? Where are you?"

I smiled at the sound of my best friend's voice. "I'm home. Mom just went back to bed and I need to take a shower, but I wanted to make sure you're okay. Is Dillon okay?"

"Get in the shower. I'm coming over. I need to get out of this house and I need a Kat-hug."

She didn't even let me answer before she hung up and I figured I would have a good fifteen minutes before she started pounding on the door. I took a quick shower even though my muscles were begging me to stay under the hot water longer with just enough time to put on a robe and throw my hair up into the towel before my text alert went off letting me know Alissa was outside.

"I didn't want to knock because you said your mom was back in bed." She didn't knock her boots off outside, leaving a trail of snow through the entryway.

"How thoughtful of you." I closed the door and double-checked the locks. I normally didn't remember to lock the doors, but I promised my mom. Once I turned back around, Alissa wrapped me up into her arms and we stood there until my towel slid off my head.

Alissa stepped back and looked me up and down a couple of times.

"What are you looking at?" I looked down to make sure my robe hadn't opened up.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Tears started pooling in her eyes. I brought her in for another hug even though my wet hair was probably cold against her cheek.

I whispered in her ear, "I'm fine. Really. I just froze up and now I feel stupid, but physically, I'm totally fine." I pulled back and wiped away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. She smiled at me, but the creases in her forehead told me she was still worried.

"I should probably get dressed. Why don't you grab a cup of coffee and meet me in my room?"

She nodded and I handed her my empty cup from the table.

I looked at myself in the mirror before getting dressed and didn't notice any marks or bruises, thank goodness. _Walt wasn't even strong enough to bruise me and I still couldn't stop him? Ugh!_ I made a mental note to talk to Matt about asking Scott if he could start me on an exercise program. Maybe not a lot of cardio, but I needed to be strong enough to at least throw a guy off me.

My hair was still somewhat damp, so I threw it up in a bun. Some of the layers were too short and fell back around my face. It wasn't like anyone besides Alissa and my mom were going to see me today.

Alissa strode into my room, set the coffee cups down on my desk, and pitched backward onto my bed to look up at the ceiling.

"Feel free to sleep. I know we didn't get any around here last night."

"Yeah, right. I can't stop thinking about how one night can change things. Everything."

"Did you see Dillon before you came over or was he still sleeping?"

Alissa lifted her head up and looked at me like I was crazy. "Kat, he's still at the police station. Didn't anyone tell you what has been happening?"

"No, they just kept asking me questions and checking me for things. It was really embarrassing. Why is he still at the station? I would think Walt would be there, not him."

"Walt is still in the hospital, unresponsive as of this morning, and they're holding Dillon," she said, her face turning flushed in anger.

I wasn't quite sure what to say to that, having a hard time processing all of this new information. "How badly did Dillon hurt him?" My muscles trembled as I thought about how much trouble Dillon could be in.

Alissa shrugged. "I don't know," she sighed.

"Should I go down to the station and talk to them again? Maybe if I explain what happened, they'll let Dillon go?" I was standing in the middle of the room and Alissa jumped off the bed to give me a hug.

"I don't think that would do any good, Kat. We just have to wait for Walt to wake up. Trust me, I asked my parents about a million times what I could do and they didn't have any suggestions either. Besides, shouldn't you be concentrating on yourself right now?"

"Unless you have a way to make me feel less stupid or any less guilty about Dillon, I really don't know where to even start." We both plopped down on my bed, lying side-by-side. I reached for Alissa's hand and we both held on in silence.

~*~

We had fallen asleep but woke up when my mom came in to tell us Alissa's mom was looking for her.

"It'd better be good news." Alissa rolled off my bed and onto the floor, stretching.

"Mom, what time is it?" I asked, too lazy to look at my phone.

"A little after one. Alissa, make sure you call your mom. She sounded anxious." Mom walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek before she left the room.

Alissa called her mom and I tried to listen in but couldn't really make out what was being said. She kept a straight face throughout the conversation and I couldn't tell if that was good or bad.

"Okay, I'll be home soon. Love you, too." She hung up and tucked her phone into her back pocket.

"Well?" I tried to keep my rising anxiety in check.

"Dillon is being released. Walt woke up and they're keeping him at the hospital for observation. Something about his brain swelling? Walt's family wants to press charges, but I don't understand all the legal crap, so I'll let my parents worry about that part." She sounded annoyed, but I felt relieved Dillon was being released.

"I'm so glad Dillon gets to go home now, and I'm glad Walt isn't dead, but..." I could only shrug. What nice things could I possibly say about Walt? "Wait, you haven't even mentioned Matt. How's he doing with all of this?"

"Who cares? He actually went to the hospital to see Walt and then didn't call me, blaming Scott for what happened."

"What does Scott have to do with any of this?" I didn't remember much after I ran into Alissa's arms. I was too embarrassed to hang around and make sure everyone else was okay.

"I'm not sure, but I think Matt just used him as an excuse for his actions and also Walt's. I was too mad at him when he tried to talk to me earlier to care what he had to say. I really am sick of his shit." Alissa tugged hard on her bootlaces, her shoulders going tight.

"Sometime soon you're going to have to explain to me what is going on with Matt. You don't seem into him at all anymore."

"He's changed. I need space and he can't seem to give it to me."

"Are you sure it isn't you that's changed?" I said that with my soothing voice so she wouldn't think I was attacking her.

"Maybe I have, but that doesn't mean he should be smothering me!" She walked out of my room to the front door, obviously angry. I followed and grabbed her arm before she could leave.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I love you, don't forget that. But is there something going on between you and Scott?"

Alissa put on her jacket and reached for the door. "There's nothing going on. I'll call you when Dillon gets home and I know more. Okay?"

"Give me a hug before you go!" I demanded. She rolled her eyes but gave me what I asked for. "Please tell Dillon I'm so sorry for what happened."

"I will. Love you too, Kat."

~*~

"Are you ready to go to your appointment?" My mom peeked her head in my bedroom, showing me the time on her cell phone.

"Why do I have to do this again?"

"Because it'll make your mother very happy. And because it'll be good for you," she replied.

After the Walt incident, my mom let me have some time before insisting I go to a therapist. She thought it would be good for me to have someone to talk to about life and what I'd gone through. I was skeptical.

The therapist's office was on my bus route but mom insisted she go with me to the first appointment.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Horne, you can't be in the room during her session," the therapist told her as I was directed into the room.

I looked back at her, shrugging because I didn't really want her in the room anyway.

"Please, have a seat, Katherine."

I sat down across from her. Her office had a desk and two oversized chairs. There was some scent that I couldn't identify but it was pleasant.

"For our first session, I would like to invite you to speak about whatever is on your mind," she said, crossing her left leg over her right.

She seemed very professional but I couldn't take her seriously. I didn't want to talk to a stranger about anything. "What would you like to know?"

"Whatever is on your mind, Katherine."

"My best friend, Alissa, is seeing this guy, Matt. But then there's this other guy, Scott, that she talks to on the side. He owns the gym she goes to and I'm convinced there's something going on between them but she won't admit to it."

"Why do you think she won't open up about it to you?" she asked.

"I don't know. We used to tell each other everything."

"Have you shared with her how you feel regarding Walt?"

Just his name made me cringe. "No. I don't like to talk about it."

She jotted something down on her notepad. "Why?"

"Because it's my problem, no one else's. I just want to forget about it."

"Maybe she feels like you have a lot already on your plate and doesn't want to give you something else to concern yourself with?" she asked, writing on her notepad.

"It's different."

"Different how, Katherine?"

"My experience was physical. I felt sore after it happened but once that went away, there's nothing else to deal with. What she's going through is emotion, I assume."

"You don't feel like you have anything emotional to deal with?"

"No."

"Are you currently in a relationship?"

"No, but there's this guy, Dillion, who is Alissa's brother. I really like him."

"Do you feel awkward when he touches you? Even on the hand?"

"No, why would I?" I asked.

"Katherine, someone hurt you. It's perfectly natural to become uncomfortable around other men. Memories can be a very powerful thing, even when you're not aware of them."

"Well, since I don't have memories about what happened aside from feeling stupid and angry that people I love were hurt, that won't be an issue," I said. I wanted to walk out. She didn't know what she was talking about.

"Why do you feel angry with yourself?"

"Because I walked back in that room with him. Because Dillon had to defend me and he got in trouble for it. Because my mom cried herself to sleep all because of my bad decision. Because I froze up and couldn't fight him off." Tears began to pool in my eyes. I hadn't cried about it in a long time. I sat in the chair, crying for what felt like forever. My therapist handed me tissues but she continued writing on her notepad. She asked me a couple more questions but I didn't want to answer.

"We'll continue with this next week, Katherine," she said before walking me to the front.

My mom put her arm around me and we walked to the car.

"Time heals everything, Kat. We'll get through this together, okay?"

"I love you, Mom."

~*~

Christmas Eve tradition had always included going over to Alissa's house for dinner with her family. We all opened one present, ate until we were stuffed and then watched whatever Christmas show was on. This year, I was nervous because I hadn't seen Dillon since the party. Alissa said he wasn't mad at me at all, but I was having a hard time figuring out how to thank him for stopping Walt.

My mom had taken the last week off from work because of what happened, so Alissa's mom used it as a good excuse for the two of them to spend time together. Alissa's mom was over at our apartment almost every day and they went shopping or out to eat while Alissa stayed with me. Alissa hadn't talked to Matt yet and I was beginning to think she was using what happened as an excuse to push him even further away. Actually, I was positive that was what she was doing. She had not been back to the gym but talked to Scott on a daily basis.

Mom and I walked up to the porch and I was in awe at how beautiful the house looked. The blue lights flashed all around and reflected off the silver stars hanging from the porch ceiling. I could smell the fire burning from inside and closed my eyes for a second before anyone answered the door, memorizing the sounds of music and the smell of the season.

The door opened and Alissa's dad was there to greet us. He helped us with the packages we carried and kissed both of us on our cheeks. No matter what had happened during the last few months, this time of year was always special and everyone was in good spirits.

Alissa came running down the stairs and launched an assault of kisses and hugs upon us. Her mom was next in greeting us. My mom always asked if she could help in the kitchen, but we all knew she couldn't cook very well, so she was in charge of drinks. Dillon came down the stairs just before we all headed into the kitchen. He looked fantastic in a cream-colored sweater and jeans. I looked down at my clothes and giggled because we were wearing the same colors.

"Hey, Dillon." I forced a smile because seeing him got me so emotional, I was on the verge of crying.

"You look beautiful, Katherine." He hugged me tighter than he ever had before.

I looked to my side and realized that everyone else had left the room, leaving us alone. I had no idea what to say, so I just stood there staring at him.

"Can we go out onto the porch and talk for a second?" he asked.

My stomach knotted up and all the bad things I feared hearing ran through my head. "Um, sure. Let me just put my jacket back on." I turned around and grabbed my jacket off the coat hanger in the entryway. Dillon put on his and held the front door open, following me out. I took a deep breath, afraid he would tell me to stay away from him. That it was my fault he'd spend time in jail.

"Katherine, I'm so sorry about what happened. I hope you know that I am not a violent person, but when I saw him pinning you up against that wall, I just lost it." He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly.

I was not expecting an apology. I looked at him confused. "Why are you apologizing to me? I should be the one apologizing to you! You saved me, Dillon. I can't even begin to express how sorry _I_ am." He stopped me from saying any more by grabbing my waist and softly pressing his lips against mine. He stepped back and I stared at him, with the lights shining all around his gorgeous face. I had imagined kissing him for so long. I lost control, my emotions ruling the moment.

Closing the gap between us, I put my hands on either side of his head and brought his lips back down to mine. I kissed him hard and held him against me, afraid this would be our last kiss. He opened his mouth, letting my tongue brush up against his. His hands ran up and down my back and I pressed against him but still didn't feel close enough. My whole body tingled, desperate to not let go.

There was a discreet cough. "Your mom needs some assistance in the kitchen, Dillon." We both turned around and his dad's face turned beet red. He ducked his chin, smiling before going back inside.

I looked at Dillon. His lips were red and he was out of breath. "Sounds like we'd better go back inside." Smiling, I reached my hand out for him to take.

He took my hand but stopped me and pulled me in close so we were nose to nose. "This conversation is not over, Katherine." He didn't let me respond as he pulled me back into the house after him.

I couldn't have responded anyway. Dillon had kissed me and I couldn't wait to do it again.

~*~

Alissa's dad stood up, his spoon clinking against his wine glass and said, "Before we start eating, I would just like to express how proud I am of Alissa and Katherine for graduating early. They're not walking up on stage with their class for the ceremony or having a graduation party so I decided now would be a great time to let you both know that we love you and look forward to what you'll achieve in the next eighteen years." He held up his glass and everyone toasted each other.

Dillon looked over at me with a huge grin on his face. I was so embarrassed. "You know, high school graduation really isn't that big of a deal."

My mom's mouth dropped open. "How could you say that? Don't listen to him, Kat. You finished high school and now you two are going to college. You both have every right to be extremely proud of yourselves." She pointed at both of us to emphasize her point.

"She's right," Alissa's mom chimed in, finishing off her glass of wine.

"Mom, really, you're cut off. You're such a lush," Alissa said, laughing.

We all started eating and attempted to keep up with all the different conversations going on. Dillon kicked me softly from under the table and I felt the blush in my cheeks.

Could life get any better right now?

~*~

Dinner was perfect and we decided to take a break before eating dessert. Our moms sat by the tree giggling as they drank their eggnog with rum, Alissa's dad and Dillon went into the study to look at some website her dad couldn't stop laughing about, and I pulled Alissa up to her room, far enough away no one could hear us talking.

"Dillon kissed me," I whispered through a haze of giggles.

"Really? Oh my gosh! What does that mean?" Alissa laughed along with me and smiled bigger than I had seen her do in weeks.

"I don't know, but I want to do it again. Like now. Oh, it was so perfect! You aren't mad, are you? For kissing your brother?"

Alissa hit me on the arm. "Don't be stupid. You're my best friend. If anyone is kissing my brother, I would prefer it be someone I actually like." She pulled her phone out and I saw a faint smile.

"Is that Matt gushing some Christmas love stuff?" I jumped onto her bed still smiling.

"Uh, no. I haven't talked to Matt in days. Let me tell you, it's been nice not dealing with his clingy crap on top of everything else." She waved her hand in the air.

"If you're so unhappy why don't you just break up with him?" I asked.

"It would be rude to break up with someone at Christmas time."

"But ignoring him isn't rude?"

"Yeah, I guess. I'll just send him a quick text and then I'll talk to him after New Year's." I heard her phone swish, indicating the text went through. I stood up to leave, skipping towards the door.

"Wait, I have to text Matt."

"Who did you just text?" I turned around, my eyes narrowing on her.

"Scott. Don't look at me like that. It's Christmas and I want to spread the Christmas cheer."

"Is that all you want to spread?" I wiggled my butt around trying to be silly while Alissa just rolled her eyes, clearly not amused.

Her phone swished again. "Okay, my good deed for the day is done. Let's go downstairs."

I was about to turn the corner towards the stairs when I heard a phone beep. I turned around and Alissa shrugged at me. "Not me." I knew it wasn't my phone either because I left it at home. When I hit the bottom stair, I stopped in my tracks. Matt was standing there, looking at his phone with a smile on his face.

He looked up at us and smiled even bigger. "You ladies look lovely tonight. I just came by to give Alissa her present. I didn't mean to intrude."

"Oh don't be silly, Matt. Come in and have some pie." Alissa's mom gave him a hug and steered him into the dining room.

I looked back at Alissa who was seething. I pushed her into the hallway and whispered, "Are you okay? Did you know he was coming by?"

"No, I'm not okay, and no, I didn't know he would just stop by uninvited." She pushed past me.

"Maybe because he's your boyfriend?" She glared back at me before stomping into the dining room.

Matt was sitting down with everyone at the table, talking to Alissa's mom. Alissa took a seat on the other side of the table and pushed her phone under her leg. I was about to sit down next to her, but Dillon patted the empty chair next to him. I felt myself blush as I took the seat. He took my hand under the table and gave me a small smile. I looked over at Alissa who glared at me and mouthed, "Traitor."

I mouthed back "Sorry," but I didn't mean it at all.

We ate pie and talked about random things. No one mentioned what happened at the gym, which I was thankful for. Matt kept looking at Alissa with a warm smile, but she would just look away. I felt bad for Matt because he was really trying.

Alissa's dad kept kissing her mom's hand. My mom looked at them with envy and I made a mental note to try and show her a little more affection. I couldn't imagine how lonely she felt being around Alissa's parents.

My favorite part of the night was opening presents. I never had enough money to buy anything extravagant for anyone, but it was fun trying to be creative. I bought Alissa a journal for her writing and in the front, I wrote a short story about the two of us. She hugged it and said it was perfect. Alissa bought me a couple new outfits, along with some new boots, all of which were trendy and probably expensive. She wanted me to try them on immediately, but I promised later.

I wasn't sure if Dillon would think my present was lame, but when he opened the photo album decorated with Army stuff he leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. It made me happy and he seemed to like it. _I would do anything for another kiss._

"Now, it's your turn," Dillon said, handing me a small box. I looked at what appeared to be a jewelry box in my hands, afraid to open it. I never wore jewelry, so it took me a minute to plan the perfect reaction as to not look disappointed. Inside the box was a small diamond necklace. It was so simple, but so beautiful. He took the box from my hand and slipped the necklace over my head. "Now every time you look down, you'll think of me," he said.

"It's perfect, Dillon." I meant it, too. I loved the way it felt around my neck and I didn't plan to ever take it off. Alissa watched our exchange, grinning, her dad winked at me, and our moms said, "Awwww!" at the same time.

"My turn," Matt said. I looked at Alissa who was sitting on the other side of the room. She didn't move from her seat, so Matt got up and walked over to her, handing her a large bag. "I hope you love this as much as I love you, Alissa."

Alissa opened the bag and pulled out a blanket. She stood up and the blanket unfolded, revealing a large picture of Matt and Alissa looking very happy. "You fall asleep on the couch so often, this will keep you warm and this picture of us is my favorite." Matt's smile was warm.

"Thank you, Matt. That's very thoughtful," Alissa said as she folded the blanket back up. She didn't even look at him when she thanked him.

I watched Matt's disappointment spread across his face and couldn't bear to watch that Christmas spirit die in front of me. "That was such a great idea, Matt. So cute!" I sounded a little too peppy, but I was trying to make him smile and ease the pain.

Everyone joined in with the compliments and continued opening presents. Alissa bought Matt some books. I got a new purse from Alissa's parents and decided to save it for a special occasion. Before I knew it, it was time to go home.

Matt left first after Alissa gave him a hug but she refused to kiss him in front of everyone. My mom and I were saying our own goodbyes when Dillon offered to walk me to our car. She gave me the keys so I could start up the car and get the heater going but I suspected she knew I wanted a couple minutes alone with Dillon. He helped put on my jacket and opened the front door for me. When the cold air hit my skin, I almost ran back inside from the shock but Dillon grabbed my hand and walked me to the car.

"Thank you again for the necklace, it's beautiful." I kissed his cheek.

"Listen, Kat, my leave is almost over and I'm not sure what's going to happen after that whole thing with Walt. Promise me you'll keep in touch no matter what?" He squeezed my hand.

"Of course. It's not like we'll never see each other again soon. I mean, you are my best friend's older brother." I winked at him. "You'll have to come visit us at college when we get all settled in. It may be a couple of years, but it will happen."

"Can I call you sometime?" Twin flags of color raised to his cheeks that had nothing to do with the cold and I had to keep from making a comment about how cute he looked.

"I'd really like that. Call, text or email anytime."

He pulled me in and kissed me. It was so cold outside in the snow, but his lips were warm. His arms went around my waist as our tongues flicked teasingly at each other, mouths open in our ardor. I couldn't stop my hand from reaching up and grabbing his head to pull him closer, my fingers curling around to the back of his neck to prolong the contact. Dillon groaned softly, the sound ricocheting from the bottoms of my feet to the top of my head and pooling somewhere deep in my belly.

For the second time that day, a delicate cough ended our moment and we broke apart to see my mom trying valiantly to look down the road and give us time for a little composure. I don't think we would have stopped kissing if we hadn't been interrupted.

Dillon waved as mom backed the car out of the driveway and began the short drive home.

"The two of you look good together," my mom said very matter-of-factly. She reached over and squeezed my hand, smiling at me.

"I think so, too. It feels good." I watched Dillon in the mirror until we turned the corner. I held on to the necklace around my neck and let the joy wash over me.

## Chapter 17

### Alissa

Christmas Day was relaxing at my house. We all sat around the windows with our coffee, watching the snow-fall. I thought about Scott a lot, wondering what he was doing and who he was spending the day with. We texted back and forth, flirting with each other. Dillon stayed on the phone with Kat for a couple hours and my parents took a nap, so I had plenty of time to think about what to do about Matt.

I knew I needed to break up with him because I couldn't continue feeling angry at him all the time. I didn't want to deal with the breaking up part, though, and wished he would just leave me alone and disappear without an argument. Talking to him would be pointless because I knew he would beg for me not to leave but doing it over email or text wouldn't work either because he would just show up at my house. I needed to make him break up with me so I could guarantee he'd leave me alone.

The next day I decided to go to the gym, taking the risk of running into Matt. He'd been giving me my space by not calling, but he did text occasionally. I wore my best-looking workout outfit knowing I would run into Scott. Black was always my favorite color to wear because it didn't show sweat. I learned after the second day that even though I looked good in red, it showed the proof of my exertions in high definition.

The new girl at the front desk of the gym was having trouble with the computer, so we had to use a sign-in sheet. The name above my signature belonged to Kelly Martin and I stopped to stare at it. I'd never seen her around here before and the thought of running into her made me nauseous. We were required to stay away from each other after our little argument at lunch. Maybe I could talk to Scott and have her banned from the gym.

I turned the corner past the entry-way and there she was, standing up against the wall, laughing with Scott. I stopped in my tracks and glared at her. I wasn't close enough to hear what they were talking about, but she obviously thought he was funny because every time he spoke she laughed out loud.

Kelly looked my way and her smile disappeared the moment she saw me. Scott followed her eyes and saw me, too. I stood in my spot and watched him end the conversation. The moment he turned his back to her and walked in my direction, she flipped me off and walked into the weight room. I wanted to run after her but getting kicked out of the gym for smacking someone wouldn't make me happy.

Scott came up real close to me and smiled. "Hey, doll. I was wondering when I would see you again."

"Well, here I am and there you were talking to Kelly." I looked at him with my eyebrows arched up to let him know I was not happy. He looked back at me with a blank expression and I immediately felt stupid. "I'm sorry. I can't tell you who and who not to talk to. I just don't like her at all and I know she doesn't like me. I was just surprised to see her here and even more surprised she was talking to you." _I wanted to punch her in the face._

"Part of my job is to talk to everyone." He gave me one of his gorgeous smiles. "I kind of like seeing you jealous."

"I wasn't jealous," I said, trying to sound convincing. "I just don't like her. She makes my life hell and she bullies Kat, which I could strangle her for."

"Would this be the same Kelly from school that you almost fought in the lunchroom?" He looked amused.

"One in the same. I should probably go so we don't make a scene. We can't be in the same room together without at the very least arguing."

"No, don't go." He grabbed my hand but quickly let go. "How about we just go talk in my office?" he said.

It probably wasn't a good idea but it beat sitting at home. Besides, maybe I could ask his advice on what to do about Matt. "Lead the way." I said, but he waved me on to go ahead of him. We walked with a few steps between us, as not to make it obvious.

I walked into his office and threw my bag down by the door. I felt Scott come up behind me and I got chills all over my body. He grabbed a section of my hair, putting it up to his nose and inhaling.

"You smell amazing, doll. You have no idea how much it turned me on seeing you get jealous. Now you know how I feel every time I see Matt touch or kiss you. It drives me insane knowing I can't touch you, but he can."

I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing. Being that close to him made my body feel like it could explode from the energy generated between us. I was so aware of his closeness that I could feel the wetness gathering between my legs.

He moved around me without a touch. I opened my eyes and tried to breathe normal, but acting natural around him was beginning to be a real challenge. The more time I spent near him, the more I wanted to throw myself at him.

Get it together, Alissa.

"Do you have big plans for New Year's?" I walked over to the couch and sat on the far end.

"I got invited to a couple of parties, but I may just stay home and read. I'm not a drinker. How about you? Big plans with _Matt_ for the midnight kiss?" He always tilted his head slightly when he asked me questions. However, when he asked about Matt, he kept his head straight, like he was uncomfortable.

"Actually, I was going to ask you for some advice about Matt. Have you ever broken up with someone but in a way that makes the other person think it's them breaking up with you?" I hoped he understood what I was trying to say without actually having to explain it in detail.

"Yes," he said without elaborating.

"Okay. How did you manage that?" I crisscrossed my legs and leaned forward, nodding at him to keep going.

"Everyone is different in how they handle situations."

"Okay, not helping," I said, throwing my hands in the air.

"If you want to break up with Matt, it needs to be your decision. How you do it needs to be your decision as well." He looked down and I could tell by the way he pursed his lips that he was trying not to smile. "I'll help with whatever you decide, but I can't make decisions for you."

"I know that makes sense, but I was really hoping you could help me figure out how to do it." I pouted hoping he would feel sorry for me but he didn't say anything. He was so hard to crack. "He hasn't done anything other than drive me insane. That's not something I can tell him without starting an argument or a begging session," I said in a frustrated tone.

He crossed his arms and chewed on his lower lip for a moment. "What could he do that you would not forgive him for, no exceptions?"

"Cheat on me. Lie to me." I looked Scott directly in the eye so he knew I was serious. It was a warning to him for future reference.

Scott nodded. "Can't blame you for that."

"I wish I knew what happened to his last long-term girlfriend," I said.

"He never told you?"

"Nope. He never brings her up. When we went to a party, the moment he found out she was going to show up, we left," I replied.

He sat down on the other end of the couch. "She broke up with him after his football career ended. He started drinking after that," Scott said, rubbing the space between his eyes.

"How do you know?"

"Matt and I are close."

That surprised me because Matt never mentioned him unless he was talking about his training sessions.

"He began hanging out with some unsavory guys. They were into drugs."

I looked at Scott, not sure how I felt about this new information.

"He still blames her for pushing him over the edge," he added.

"The last thing I want to do is cause him to do something stupid," I said.

"Don't stay with someone just because you're afraid you'll hurt them. He's a big boy who makes his own decisions."

I nodded in agreement. "You're right. I'll wait until after the new year to break it off."

He smiled at me.

"Thanks for letting me know. I promise I won't repeat any of it."

"Time to move on to better things. You come first, don't forget that," he stood up. "I need to get moving, Alissa. If I don't see you, have a very happy New Year and I expect we'll be keeping in touch," he said, giving me a wink.

I nodded in agreement while smiling like a goofball. "I hope you do as well. Where are you going so fast, though? Sick of me already?" I used my flirty voice hoping it would keep him from leaving. It was much harder flirting in person versus over the phone.

"I'll never be sick of you, doll." He turned and walked out of his office.

I sat in his office, gathering my thoughts. The scent of his cologne still lingered in the air, masculine with a hint of sweetness. Taking a deep breath, I tried to memorize the uniqueness of it before I grabbed my bag and headed home, thoughts of Scott heavy on my mind.

~*~

Kat and I decided to order pizza and watch a movie for New Year's Eve while sitting around in our pajamas. My parents took Kat's mom to one of my dad's lame work parties and Dillon decided to have a video game marathon with his buddies, so it was just Kat and I.

A lot of kids our age like to sneak drinks and party, but I don't like the taste of beer or wine. Matt had asked me to go to some party with him, and of course, I said no. He was so disappointed, he'd shown up at Kat's place on his way to the party to give me a kiss.

Fifteen minutes to midnight, my text alert went off. We paused the movie because Kat needed to use the bathroom and I used the opportunity to look at my phone.

Scott: Check your email.

Alissa: Okay. Happy New Year's by the way! If some girl kisses you tonight, I hope she has bad breath.

He didn't respond back.

I yelled at Kat through the bathroom door that I had to borrow her laptop for a second. I only had one email from one of my former journalism classmates. It looked like he'd sent a mass email and my initial thought was that something had happened to someone we'd gone to school with. I was wrong, though. The email was just a bunch of pictures from the party with funny quotes. I recognized most of the people but couldn't care less about how much fun they were having. The second to last picture was the only one that caught my attention. The picture captured Matt holding a bottle of beer in one hand and his other hand was tangled up in Kelly's hair while they kissed.

Shock and anger suddenly boiled through my veins and I thought I was going to puke. It was the excuse I had been waiting for, but it still stung. Part of me hadn't thought Matt capable of ever cheating on me and I'd resigned myself to the thought that I would be the one to end it, but the proof was right in front of me.

And he'd cheated on me with Kelly of all people.

"What are you looking at?" Kat came up behind me and gasped when she looked over my shoulder at the picture of Kelly and my former boyfriend. "Oh, hell, Alissa! What is he doing kissing _her_?" She grabbed the laptop out of my hands and stared at it like I had been doing. "Is this real? Is it from tonight?"

"I think it is."

Remember, Alissa, you wanted a good excuse.

Kat closed the laptop and pulled me in for a hug. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe he would do that to you!" She stood back up and paced back and forth on the floor.

I couldn't make myself cry, but I could play the stunned role to perfection. There was no way I could tell Kat I had wanted it to happen.

But shit, it still hurts.

"Alissa, say something! Do you want to go kick his ass? No, really, I will." Kat got back down on the floor with me. I still hadn't said anything. "I don't know what to say or do. Please, tell me what you're thinking." Her voice cracked as if she was about to start crying.

I shook my head, snapping myself out of my thoughts. "I'm fine, Kat. Really, it was bound to happen anyway."

"What does that mean?" Her eyes widened because she was a little taken aback by my statement.

"He's just a boy, Kat. Boys do that crap until they grow up and finally know what they want. He obviously didn't want me anymore." I shrugged.

"Don't give him excuses. He's dumb and Kelly deserves him if he's going to do crap like that. I'll go get the chocolate." She stood up and stopped in the doorway. "If I ever see him again, I will kick his ass, don't think I won't."

I opened my phone, hoping to see something from Scott, but I didn't have any new messages. Had he been behind this, or was it just a coincidence that it had happened so soon after our recent conversation?

Kat came back with chocolate and a noisemaker for each of us.

"One minute 'til midnight." She pulled her phone out and stared at the time, counting down the seconds until it hit 12:00. We both blew into our noisemakers a couple of times, laughing at how pathetic they sounded.

I laughed so hard I began tearing up and from one second to the next, the tears turned sad. I sat on the floor with my knees tucked under my chin. He had cheated on me with the one person I truly hated.

Utter betrayal.

"I'm just so sorry, Alissa." Kat pulled me up off the floor and we got into bed. Usually she would be nagging me to express my feelings. Instead, we cuddled. Surely he'd know I'd seen the pictures. If he even attempted to confront me, I decided not to feel bad about anything that came out of my mouth.

"With all the shit that's happened, it hasn't sunk in that we're no longer high school students," I said, breaking the silence I could no longer stand.

"We are now college girls. No more high school drama. We can officially put all that bullshit behind us," Kat said. I could hear the smile I knew was plastered on her face.

"I need to start shopping for cute college outfits."

"The beauty about college is you can go in your pajamas and no one cares."

"Kat, if I ever see you in pajamas walking around campus, I'll run the other way," I said, smacking her leg.

"We should set regular lunch dates."

"You mean coffee dates. College kids drink lots of coffee. Speaking of, I'm going to go make some right now," I said, jumping off the bed.

I walked back into the room a few minutes later, holding two mugs and turning the light switch on with my elbow.

"Hey! A little warning would have been nice," Kat moaned, covering her eyes with her arm.

"Drink your coffee and quit complaining."

She moved into a sitting position and I handed her a cup, sitting next to her.

"Here's to new beginnings," I said.

"To new beginnings," Kat carefully clanked her mug against mine.

"And to hot college boys."

Kat rolled her eyes. "No college boy is cuter than Dillon."

"Oh great... and so it begins."

## Keep your eyes peeled for book 2, coming soon!

Alissa Sullivan has high hopes that the new year will bring a fresh start for her and her best friend as they strike out into their first semester in college. After learning her boyfriend cheated on her, she sets her sights on Scott, the mysterious gym owner who has promised that when she turns eighteen, everything between them will change, and she can't wait to become the kind of woman he wants.

After enduring the year from hell, Katherine Horne is ready to put her emotional turmoil behind her. Alissa's brother, Dillon, has found a way into her wary heart even as she grows more suspicious of the goings-on in the anti-bullying group that Scott has taken management over. Whatever comes of her tentative investigations, she only knows one thing – she may have to step in and save her best friend from herself.

Friendships will be tested, love will be a wolf in sheep's clothing, and good deeds will need to be punished. It's too late to tread softly – karma's been keeping track and it may be too late for fate to intervene.*

*Subject to change by wrathful gods, the whims of slave-driving (but loved) editors, or the arm-flailing freak-outs of this author.

## Destroying the Wrong

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author.

The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author's rights is appreciated.

Destroying the Wrong is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Contact the author via

Facebook page: Evelyne Stone

Twitter: @evelynestone78

## Acknowledgments

When I decided to write a book, I had no clue what I was getting myself into. If you are reading this, I hope it's because you read the whole book and enjoyed the story as much as I do.

I would like to thank my best friend, Amanda L. Gordon, for introducing me into the writing world. She helped me edit, dealt with my freak-out sessions and kicked my ass into gear while smiling and cheering me on. I love her.

Michele Stratton and I had coffee one night and we sat for hours, dreaming up stories. We still meet every week to brainstorm and bitch about how hard it is to write a book. I feel so lucky to have her by my side as we live out our dreams.

I read a book last year that touched my soul and decided to stalk the author on Facebook. I had my first fan-girl moment when J.M. Hill wrote me back. She is such an inspiration and I love that I can call her my friend.

Jennifer Short Benson allowed me to become part of her Indie author group a few months ago. She has gone out of her way to help us on a daily basis. Without Jennifer, I would have pulled out every hair on my head and jumped off the bridge, screaming like a girl.

Chelle Bird is one of those friends that will stick by your side even if it means getting into trouble. She makes me happy when skies are gray. Thank you for all the times you picked me up and made me laugh my ass off.

A huge thank you to all my Indie group girls: Jennifer, Michele, Louise, Chelle, Soaching, Antoinette, Melissa, Carey, Julie, E.K., Anna, Megan, Miranda and Mindy. I wouldn't have survived without you all. No words could express how much I appreciate you all.

My beta girls volunteered their time to help make my story better. Thank you: Paige Maroney Smith, Tiffani Henry Drake, Lynne Gallimore-Ayling, Crystal Glenn, Laurna Hamilton, Heather Young, Kendra Gaither and Genevieve Aho. They made me laugh, cry and scream. I love each of them and can't wait to work with them on the next book.

Melissa Gill with MGbookcovers, it was such a pleasure to work with you. You made my cover look fabulous. Thank you for not firing me after all the changes.

Thank you Louise with Ltmk Hooked on Books who coordinated my cover reveal. You are such an awesome person who goes out of her way to help. Love you!

Thank you Melissa with Feisty Girls Book Blog for coordinating my blog tour. You work so hard and I appreciate you.

A huge thank you to Angi Black, my editor. You accommodated all my needs and put up with so many of my questions with patience. Our long-term relationship will only get stronger and I promise to be less of a pain.

Now the sappy stuff...

My parents have loved and supported me my whole life. I love you both more than you'll ever know.

Thank you to my Aunt Claudia for the constant reminders that magic does exist and anything is possible with a little imagination.

My kids: Eric, Julianne, Trinity and Abygail. Every day I love you more. Thank you for putting up with my time on the computer and the many nights I didn't cook.

Last, but not least, my better half, Steven. You never let me give up and I am forever grateful. You let me keep the light on so I could see the keyboard while you slept. You sat with me brainstorming for hours. I love you so much.

