
English: 
Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome back to another Try Not to Laugh challenge.
Alright, let's get into it!
EH!
EHH!
I'm preparing the hate in my face. I'm angry. Alright, I'm ready. Let's do this!
[In video] NO JEFF THAT'S NOT HOW YOU GET BAKED!
I'm sorry what?
I'm sorry...
W   H   A   T
I'm sorry...
ehhhhhh..
im sorry.
W̶̨̱̪̪͔̗̗͇͉͕̒̀̋̐̈́̿̀̉͘͝͠͝ͅ ̷̩͙͕̳̫͈̯͋̊̓͂̓̊́͂̕H̴̢̡̡̡̗̻͉̰̻̠̥̰̗͉̰͂̋̈́͗̎ ̶̡̣͉͈̽̑͘͝Â̷̢̛̛̩̻̖̲͈̰̼̤͑́̓͊̕͠ ̸͓͈̻̤̝̫̯͎̻̩̘̇̄̒̿̽̈́͋͜T̴̤̣̖͍͉̉̿͒̾͐̽̄́̓͒̉̈̕
Greeting fellow Americans.
Do you know how hard it is to grab a cup of coffee?
[Laughing] With the same hand that you're holding in your bread?

Chinese: 
大家好，我是Markiplier
歡迎回到我的嘗試不笑挑戰 (･ω´･ )
好的....讓我們直接開始吧
呃...!
YEE...!
我在把怒氣植入到我的臉裡面
(。益。)
呃啊~! 我現在很火大
好了，我準備好了  開始吧
不~Jeff 那不是你被烤 (註1) 的方法啊 !
不好意思，瞎咪 ?
不~Jeff 那不是你被烤 (註1) 的方法啊 !
不好意思....啥鬼??
Σヽ(ﾟД ﾟ; )ﾉ
不好意思...?
Σヽ(ﾟД ﾟ; )ﾉ
呃啊....
不好意思
啥....? (╬ﾟдﾟ)
你好阿，美國同胞們
你知道你很難能夠拿著一杯咖啡時...
用同樣拿著咖啡杯的手(笑)....拿著麵包嗎?
譯者 : ? ( ˘•ω•˘ )

Chinese: 
我....
嗯.....
那個...我....呃....
你的笑點哪來的啊 ?  ( •́ _ •̀)
還真可愛...
這真的滿可愛的
非常可愛
但沒有....
沒那麼地...
好   笑  (శωశ)
來吧 !
別想
怎樣?
你才~不是我~爸 ! 你總~是想~聽點一~些好話...
你這該~死的醜不~拉機麵~條頭

English: 
I...
Um..
Excuse me, I deh, why were you laughing?
That's cute
that's real cute
very cute!
but not...
not that
F u n n y
ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ʰᵉʳᵉ
N   O   P   E
wHAt
YoU'rE NoT my DaD!! YoU AlWaYs WaNnA HeAr SoMeThInG
UgLy AsS FuCkin NoOdLeHead-

Chinese: 
別想得逞 !
(歌名 : LOONA yyxy - love4eva)
♪ 嗨~ ♪
(歌名 : LOONA yyxy - love4eva)
你好阿
(歌名 : LOONA yyxy - love4eva)
(歌名 : LOONA yyxy - love4eva)
♪ 最後地來介紹一下LOONA~~ ♪
(歌名 : LOONA yyxy - love4eva)
(立馬關門)
♪ 最後地來介紹一下LOONA~~ ♪
(歌名 : LOONA yyxy - love4eva)
(´⊙ω⊙`) (凝視中)
(歌名 : LOONA yyxy - love4eva)
喔天...
這會是你死前的那一刻會見到的臉
這會是你死@#前的@(那一刻!@會見到的臉
我是梅根，你現在正在收看的是Disney channel (註2)
(畫米奇的圖案中......)
*碰*
(譯者 : 這後勁www)
( ^ω^)
我快昏倒了
我快昏倒了
花生省魔術 ? (っ´ω`c)
現在是怎樣 ? 這些是蛋嗎 ?
( ′▽‵)
那真的滿好笑的

English: 
NO!
*♩- love4eva by LOONA  *
Woman in Video: Hello!
*♩- love4eva by LOONA  *
Oh My
oooh
That's the face you see right before you die
I'm Megan and you're watching  disney channel
I'm gonna pass out. Hmm. Imma pass out what happened?
what the hell is going on, is this EgGs?
thats very funny

Chinese: 
蛤 ? 什..什麼 ?!
喔(Do)
喔 ?(Re)
啊~(Mi)
啊~~(??)
啊 !~(♂)
(๑´ㅂ`๑)
喔喔 !!
這還真....
喔~~♥(´∀` )
哇喔~好...好吧
嗯...這麼容易生氣的嗎 ?
Zaggle快從通便器上鬆口 !
別再去煽動牠了! (對牠旁邊的同伴說話)
快給我鬆嘴! (#`皿´)
你™的別鬧了，快鬆嘴 !
矮額.....那是尿嗎 ??
好噁 ! 我踩到了你的ㄋ一ㄠ--
停 !
給我停下來 !! (╬ﾟдﾟ)

English: 
What?
oh
oh
ah~.
ah~
Ah!~
AwWwW~
OhH!
that was..
oh~
Wow, okay. All right
Well, temper tantrum much?
Zaggles let go of the fucking plunger! Don't instigate it! Let go of it-
For fuck sakes let go EW WAS THAT PEE???
EW I STEPPED IN YOUR PEE-
STOP
STOPP

English: 
OoOoh spicy! Oh, what is this? I don't like this or wherever it's going
I
HATE
EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!
Am I alive?

Chinese: 
(標題 : 我的油量計跟氣量計打了起來)
嗚~~也太酷了
呃喔...這又是什麼東西 ?
看上去不怎麼討喜，反正還是來看看吧
(歌名 : Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You)
♪ 我憎恨關於你的一切 ♪
(歌名 : Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You)
♪ 為何我會深愛著你 ♪
(歌名 : Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You)
(歌名 : Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You)
♪ 我....
(歌名 : Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You)
我還活著嗎 ?(  °ﾛ°)

Chinese: 
我看的這東西是什麼阿 ?
*噴飛*
喔不w
喔不 (›´ω`‹ )
我的大腦阿...
我的大腦啊啊 !...
(歌名 : Kirin J Callinan - Big Enough)
RRRRRRRRRRRR
(歌名 : Kirin J Callinan - Big Enough)
(歌名 : Kirin J Callinan - Big Enough)
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
(歌名 : Kirin J Callinan - Big Enough)
(歌名 : Kirin J Callinan - Big Enough)
RRRRRRRRRRR~~RRRRRR
(歌名 : Kirin J Callinan - Big Enough)
(歌名 : Kirin J Callinan - Big Enough)
o(☆Ф∇Ф☆)o
好了~夠了......
呃....靠北了
呃嗯...

English: 
what am I looking at?
oh no
oh no
My brain...
MY BRAIN!
aaaa
AAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Chinese: 
老兄....我.....
它配的太完美了 ╮(╯∀╰)╭
太™完美了 (๑´ㅁ`)
ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ
好吧...挫賽了，就這樣輸了
隨便了.....我們繼續吧
繼.....繼續吧 (  °▽°)
不管你要做啥...快停下來...
( 我彈! )
(๑¯∀¯๑)
嘿! 我彈!
(　ﾟ∀ﾟ)
ㄉㄨㄞ~
我討厭它，喔不 我討厭這種的
喔不，這一定會發生壞事的
媽的智障欸...
(前面的人) 別鬧了，八七嗎你 ?
多注意點 ! 多注意點啦 !!
GAN欸....
( 自己直接撞上 )
థ౪థ
(  ′▽‵)
準備好了嗎 ? 直直往上喔~直直往上 !

English: 
Okay, all right, ah fuck man, I it's just so perfect
So fucking perfect!
Well shit, that's a loss. Oh, well, let's keep going man. Let's keep gOiNG!
Whatever you're gonna do don't do it...
heh boop
ᵇᵒᵒᵖ
i hate it, oh no i hate this oh no this is gunna be bad
(Video) - Fuckin idiot...
(Guy in front)Come on you fucking idiot!
Pay attention! pay attention!
fuck..
(Video) - Straight up straight up.

English: 
I'm so stupid
(Video) - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
(Video) - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I dunno why that is happening
I dunno why any of that is that thing (Wut)
And how can people not laugh at that
Dear diary...
Dear diary...
Thank you- everybody so much for watching. If you want to see more try not to laugh
They're available in the description and the suggestive videos over there
There's a playlist there's tons of stuff, and if you want me to see more funny videos that you got
Get them to me however, email... uhhhhh
Twitter...

Chinese: 
我也太蠢了吧(笑點方面)
( 一腳踩在樂高上 )
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
(破音)
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
( 影片重播中 )
我不....我不知他為啥會這樣叫
我也不知為啥他這樣叫時
但其他人卻沒笑出來
親愛的日記...
(≧∀≦)
親愛的日記...
( ° ▽°)
非常感謝大家的觀看
如果想看到更多的嘗試不要笑挑戰
連結會在說明欄裡
然後那裡有推薦影片(指)
還有播放清單和有的沒的東西
如果你要我看你有的更多好笑影片的話
就傳給我吧，用像是....電子郵件....

English: 
Instagram whatever. Thank you buddies. That's it :DDD
And uhh, as always, I will see you in the next video. Bye-bye!

Chinese: 
或推特....
或IG...都行啦
謝謝你們的...
@#)....!(*%(#
(ﾟ皿ﾟﾒ)
還有...呃...一如往常地.....
我們下部影片...再見吧 !
[ 完整字幕翻譯 by DCX(某個火氣太大弄破舌頭的人) ]
我們下部影片...再見吧 !
巴~掰 (　ﾟ∀ﾟ) ﾉ
( 若影片有任何內容及時間點的錯誤 )
( 麻煩到字幕 -> 新增字幕做修正 )
