

### The Human Soul:

### What Is Your Treasure?

### By

### Jesus (AJ Miller)

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2015 Divine Truth

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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### This ebook is a transcript of a seminar delivered by Jesus (AJ Miller) on 16th December 2012 in Murgon, Queensland, Australia. In this seminar Jesus describes the way in which we can determine what we truly value in life, and the importance of doing so for spiritual progression.

### Reminder From Jesus & Mary

### Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

### It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

### Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

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Table of Contents

### What Is Your Treasure: Part 1

1. Introduction

1.1. Introduction to the Gospels in the Bible

2. How to determine what we treasure

2.1. Step 1: What do you think you treasure?

2.1.1. Examples of treasures from the audience

2.2. Step 2: Prioritise the list of treasures

2.3. Step 3: List what you spend most of your time doing

2.4. Step 4: Honestly examine the comparison of the lists

2.4.1. An example of not treasuring our relationship with God

2.4.2. It is possible to multitask

2.5. The benefit of determining what we treasure

3. Teachings from the Gospel of Luke regarding treasures

3.1. Luke 12: 16-21

3.2. Luke 12: 31-34

3.3. Luke 14: 16-24

4. What has the most value in our life is proven by action

4.1. How you allocate resources determines what is valued

4.2. Self-examination is required to see the truth

4.3. What value is not about

4.4. How you truly act and feel demonstrates what you value most

4.4.1. An example of valuing a relationship with a partner

4.4.2. An example of acting upon fear

5. Actions come from true sincere feelings

5.1. We need to release fear in order to have love and truth enter our heart

5.2. An example of a participant experiencing spirits' emotions

5.2.1. Fear can be released rapidly

5.3. Reasons why we treasure fear

5.4. Confusion is driven by fear

5.4.1. An example of balancing a relationship with God with supporting adult children

5.5. Fear prevents us from being logical

6. Developing treasures above our fear

6.1. A relationship with God can pull us through all fear

6.2. An example of opening our heart in a relationship

7. Self-examination is required to see the truth

7.1. Placing treasure in a relationship with God

### What Is Your Treasure: Part 2

8. Self-examination is required to see the truth (continued)

8.1. Matthew 13: 13-16

8.2. Isaiah 29: 15-16

8.3. The analogy of the human soul being a clay pot moulded by God

8.4. A lack of self-examination is evident through actions

9. Examples of a lack of self-examination

9.1. AJ's hairdresser

9.1.1. Rage impedes accurate self-analysis

9.2. Disc copying

9.3. Feeling gratitude for the gifts we are given

9.4. Demands upon AJ and Mary's time

9.5. An example of a participant treasuring his anger towards his father

9.5.1. Reasons for wanting to hold onto anger

9.5.2. Taking responsibility for our emotions

9.6. Seminar donations

9.6.1. Addictions met from having a cup of tea or coffee

9.6.2. Resistance to truth

9.6.3. Examining what we get out of our addictions

9.7. Addictions or complete denial

9.7.1. An example of a phone conversation between Mary and a man

10. Indications in our personal life that we treasure Divine Truth

10.1. Letting our light shine

11. Closing words

Appendix: Seminar Outline

What Is Your Treasure: Part 1

1. Introduction

The subject that I wanted to talk with you about this morning is part of the Human Soul series of talks that we've given. There are now about seventy or eighty, and this one is called "What Is Your Treasure?"

1.1. Introduction to the Gospels in the Bible

Many of you don't know too much about the Bible, and I'd like to give you a little bit of background. There are four accounts in the Bible, or four what are called "books" in the Bible that refer to details about my life, and they mention Mary very briefly. They only mention Mary specifically on three occasions I think. Those four accounts are called the Gospel accounts; you might have heard of that term and the reason why they're called the Gospel is that they are referring to "The Gospel of the Good News of Peace," a term that I sometimes used in the first century.

Those four accounts were by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Matthew and Mark were both people who lived after I passed from the Earth. I had contact with Matthew in the first century before I died and so he had some firsthand experience of me. Mark was a young man when I died, he was sixteen or seventeen years of age I think from memory. When I passed, his name was John Mark or Mark and I obviously knew him as well, so that was a firsthand account.

Then there was the account of Luke. Luke is my son-in-law; he married my daughter Sarah in the first century. He and Sarah and Mary lived in France for a period of time and this enabled Luke to ask Mary many things about our life, the three and a half years that I presented my ministry. Mary was with me for about eighteen months of that so Luke could ask her many questions about our life together and what I actually did say and so forth.

For that reason the account of Luke in the Bible contains many things that are not contained in the other books. The accounts of Matthew and Mark contain very many similar things. I know the Bible book of John is claimed to be written by John, but the reality is that there was also a mixture of things occurring where a lot of the material actually came from Mary as well, through her channelling and also through her memories, and they were relayed to both Luke and John; the book of John was a collaborative effort.

I bring all of this up because the Book of Luke contains many interesting things about this issue of "What is your treasure?" and I'd like to quote some of them to you this morning.

2. How to determine what we treasure

Before I do though, I would like to recommend to you that you ask yourself three things, and perhaps it's worth writing some of these things down because this will form the basis of your attempt to know what your treasures are. It's only when you know what your treasures are and know how to determine what you treasure that you can start working on the second issue which I want to raise today, the issue of how to grow desire. [00:04:49.00]

2.1. Step 1: What do you think you treasure?

I'd like to ask you a few questions. The first question's a very important one and that is, what do you think you treasure? My suggestion is that you just let yourself free-think about that question without any judgement. In other words, sit down, take a bit of time and go, "What are the things that I believe are important? The things that I feel I treat as important, what are those things?"

2.1.1. Examples of treasures from the audience

Do any of you want to list some of them?

Participant: The first thing that came to mind was learning and growing.

Okay, so the first thing for you was learning and growing.

Participant: The second thing was making a difference for humanity. Making a difference in the world.

Making a difference in the world. I'm assuming that you want it to be a positive difference.

Participant: Oh yes please.

Okay.

Participant: I've had enough negative influence.

Participant: The first thing that came to my mind was my freedom.

In what way?

Participant: I treasure my freedom.

You treasure your freedom, okay. That would include, would it not, your freedom to make a choice?

Participant: All freedoms, yes.

To choose to live.

Participant: Because as children most of us didn't have any freedom.

Yeah I agree.

Participant: And I've now realised that I've rebelled against that all of my life since then.

A lot of us are still in rebellion about the fact we never got any freedom. Yeah I agree with that. Good. Anything else that came to your mind instantly as soon as you thought of the question, "What are the things you treasure?"

Participant: Mine was a bit of a shock to me, more of an addiction. I like to make people around me happy.

So yeah, making people happy, shall we call it. There's no harm in making people happy as long as it's not an addiction, is there? It's a nice thing to treasure.

Participant: To me it's very important for me to live in my desires. To find my real desires that I need to spend most of my time in.

Okay yeah, good.

Participant: It's just that's what makes me happy.

That's what makes you happy. So, could you say, being happy is also something that you treasure?

Participant: Being happy, creating what I like.

Yeah, good.

Participant: Spending time with my children.

Okay.

Participant: Although I realise that's only when they're being peaceful and harmonious.

(Laughter) So can we say, spending time with family?

Participant: Yeah family because that does include Liam, he's not my child.

Yeah, okay. Good, so you treasure that.

Participant: I spend a lot of time creating security and avoiding my fear.

You treasure security, and it's understandable that a person would treasure security, isn't it? It's always great to be safe and secure. It's far better to be safe and secure than unsafe and insecure, don't you feel? [00:09:08.20]

Participant: Yeah, and also I'm spending as much time with God as I can.

So relationship with God, shall we say that? Yeah.

Participant: Feeling healthy and well.

Yeah, wanting some sense of physical wellbeing. Shall we call it physical and emotional wellbeing? These are all pretty reasonable things to treasure aren't they?

Participant: Living a more fulfilled life.

How would you define that though? Let's define that.

Participant: More loving.

You want to develop in love?

Participant: Yeah. More harmonious.

And harmony.

Participant: Yeah, more giving.

Okay.

Participant: Well I'm sure you're going to have something to say about this but I would say my soulmate.

Okay, in other words relationship with partner, shall we call it? Yep, and why would I have something negative to say about that? (Laughter) I'm totally passionate about my relationship with my partner. You're so used to being afraid, aren't you?

Participant: Integrity and honesty.

Could we call that developing your character? Where you have qualities such as integrity, honesty, truthfulness, openness, all those kind of things. [00:12:07.10]

Participant: Since living in the country, I've really realised how much I treasure nature.

Okay, shall we call it assisting the environment.

Participant: I think I treasure the teachings of Divine Truth.

Okay, basically the teachings about how to have a relationship with God.

Participant: I think I treasure my home and the life that I've created for myself now, when I look back on how I've lived my life in the past, to what it is today.

Shall we call that your personal environment?

Participant: Yep. And also the gifts that I receive from God.

Okay: Gifts that you receive.

Participant: For me it's mediumship, among other things.

Yeah that's good.

Participant: Assisting others.

Let's be more specific. How would you assist others?

Participant: By being an example.

You're saying that one of the things you treasure is being able to help others, to do what? To murder other people, or...?

Participant: Oh no, to grow. (Laugher) I hope I don't.

Well, there are people who do that. There are plenty of people who are in the arms manufacturing business that are just there to help a country destroy another. [00:13:46.20]

Participant: I guess to assist others to develop, be more in love and truth.

Okay, you're talking about helping others get closer to love, to love.

Participant: And also to have fun.

To have fun. Yeah, very good.

Well I think I've exhausted my board now. There are obviously a lot of things that we think we treasure.

2.2. Step 2: Prioritise the list of treasures

Now one of the interesting things to do, and this is what I'd write down as the next part of the exercise for you, is to ask yourself, what are your highest priorities of the things you treasure? In other words, we've written down all the things we treasure and now we need to put it into some kind of prioritised list as to what's the most important thing to us, and then what's the next important thing and the next important thing and so forth.

Who would put relationship with partner right up there, as one of the most important things that you'd want to develop? Yeah, quite a few. Not everyone, interestingly. Developing your own character. Who would put that up pretty high? The majority. Very good. Who would put relationship with God up there pretty high? Now is that higher than developing your own character? How many of you feel that it's higher than developing your own character? About half, shall we say? Okay, the other half feel that developing your own character is more important than relationship with God? See, this is where you have to think about what is more important when you do this. That's the whole point of doing this exercise.

The second part of the exercise is to prioritise the list of treasures. That's number two. You get the idea that basically you're making a list and then you're sorting out what's more important to you; this thing or that thing, this thing or that thing. You'll feel some items are of equal importance and if that's the case, write them next to each other. But you'll get a sort of priority list of what you believe are the most important things that are a part of your life.

2.3. Step 3: List what you spend most of your time doing

Now, the third thing is to write down what you spend most of your time doing. From the previous list that we had, you would go, "Okay that's my list of what I treasure. What do I actually spend most of my time doing on that list?" and you write that down as the priority list.

In other words, if you spend forty hours a week on your personal environment, then you put forty hours next to that. If you spend one hour a day on your relationship with God, you write down seven hours for the week on that. If you spend two hours a day with your partner generally, then you would write down fourteen hours a week for that. If you spend time learning new things, maybe one or two hours a week, you write that down. [00:18:20.04]

You'll get a picture of the things you spend the most time doing, once you get that list. If you do it with separate pieces of paper or even separate books you can look at them side by side. You'll get a picture of what you believed were the priorities in your life and a picture of what your priorities actually are.

You will have two lists - the first list is what you believed was important to you and the second list is what you spend the most time doing, which are the things that are actually the most important to you.

2.4. Step 4: Honestly examine the comparison of the lists

The fourth step in this process is to honestly examine the comparison of the two lists.

By the way, you may find in the list of what you spend the most time doing, that you may have to actually add to the list things that weren't on your first list. For many of us, we didn't see work on our first list. It wasn't there. (Laughs) Of course some of it might involve work, but that really wasn't there for forty hours a week, and it would definitely have to be on the list for most of us. Unless we're working in our passion, it'll be something that's not on the previous list. You can see that this list of what you spend most of your time doing may end up being quite different to your first list of what you think are your treasures. The key is just to be really honest with yourself about this, to have some honest self-reflection about what's really going on.

I'm going to suggest to you today that the reality is that everything you believe is important to you is actually not important to you. The reality is that what you spend the most time on is the most important thing to you, for whatever reason. People go, "But I don't like work," and I say, "Well why are you doing it for forty hours a week then? Why don't you find a job you love and do that for forty hours a week? That would make more sense. Why don't we do that? Because we have a fear associated with doing that, or we have a belief that we're not worthy of that, or that we'll never be able to attain that, that's why we do it. [00:21:44.16]

That's why we finish up choosing to spend time on things that don't matter in comparison to the things that do. When I say, "don't matter," we must believe they do matter and we have an emotional reason, usually it's an addiction, as to why we believe it matters.

For example, we could go back to this first list of what we think are our treasures. We could say to ourselves, "The most important thing to me is my relationship with God," but the reality is that if we are spending seven hours a week on that, and fourteen hours a week on the relationship with our partner, then the most important thing to us isn't our relationship with God. The reality is that the most important thing to you is your relationship with your partner because that's the thing that you're spending more time on.

2.4.1. An example of not treasuring our relationship with God

Participant: Hi, AJ. There's something that I feel I struggle with and that is I set this intention. "Yep today I'm going to connect with God, that's going to be a priority," and then I get into my garden and do my stuff and then I get to the end of the day and like, where's God then?"

Exactly, so is it really your priority?

Participant: No and I understand that.

So it's not what you treasure?

Participant: No.

You treasure spending time in your garden more than you spend time with God, so therefore your garden was more important than God.

Participant: Exactly.

Yeah.

Participant: But where I still struggle is...

You still have the feeling of the intention, don't you?

Participant: Yes. But where I struggle is where I don't feel that connecting to God means sitting down and going, "Oh I'm going to spend seven hours connecting to God", so...

I agree totally.

2.4.2. It is possible to multitask

Participant: What are ways that you've discovered where you can do your garden and connect to God in that process?

Well one thing I must state in this little exercise is that the human soul is capable of multitasking. In other words you don't have a finite amount of time of 168 hours every week available to you, you don't have that. You actually have more time available because some of the time you can do two things at the same time.

With some of those things it's very difficult to do two things at the same time. Like, it's very difficult to have sex with your partner while at the same time you're cooking. (Laughter) You might try that, maybe? But you've got all sorts of danger involved and everything that could go on there. You try it and see.

Okay, so there are some things that you'll find difficult, there are some things that you'll want to be totally committed to and there are other things that don't matter quite so much. For example, caring for your personal environment, you do want to be committed to it, but you can obviously care for your physical environment while you're praying, for example. You can do the two things at the same time, so we can multitask these different things.

However, how you spend your time is a very good reflection of what is really the most important thing to you. That's the reality. If you add into this the equation of your resources, where you spend your money is also a very good indication of what is important to you. For some of you, you hardly spend any money on clothes, you just like the bare essentials and that's maybe because you don't have a consciousness about your own appearance, or a feeling about your own appearance. You've been taught from a young age that if you care about what you wear then you're self-absorbed and other things.

2.5. The benefit of determining what we treasure

There are emotional impacts on every one of these things that happen. I'm illustrating to you that these lists expose two things. Firstly they expose the things you treasure and also the things that you think you treasure but you don't actually treasure. This is very positive; it's very positive that we do this. The reason it's very positive is that without this knowledge we will not know what addictions we have. [00:26:32.16]

We will not know the different things in our lives that cause us to focus all of our resources and time and effort onto activities that are really time wasters, or that don't benefit our happiness or our lives in any positive direction, while at the same time avoiding a whole heap of things that could help our life positively and give us much joy and happiness.

But to do it, we have to be honest with ourselves. You don't need anybody else to tell you what you value. If you are honest with yourself, you will know exactly what you value by seeing how much time you spend on specific things. If you find you spend a lot of time on making people happy, for example for twenty hours a week, and spending time with God is about two hours a week and spending time with your partner is fourteen hours a week, what does that tell you? That tells you that making people happy is actually more important to you emotionally than a relationship with God or with your partner. There's something that you get from making people happy that you can't get from God at this point and that you can't get from your partner, which tells me that it must be an addiction. There's something going on if that's the case. This is the great thing about this self-analysis.

3. Teachings from the Gospel of Luke regarding treasures

What does that have to do with what I've mentioned about the Book of Luke? Well, let me read you a few quotes from the Book of Luke.

3.1. Luke 12: 16-21

Here's one, Luke 12: 16-21:

"And he told them this parable. The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. So he thought to himself, what shall I do? I have no place to store my crops. Then he said, "This is what I'll do, I'll tear down my barns and build bigger ones and there I will store my surplus grain. And I'll say to myself, 'You have plenty of grain laid up for you for many years, take life easy, eat, drink and be merry.'"

This is why many of you go for the lottery every week; that's exactly what you're looking for. Many of you are looking for the ability to have all this money available so therefore you feel you don't have to worry anymore, you have everything that you need, everything that you could want. You don't have to work so hard anymore.

"But God said to him, 'You fool, this very night your life will be demanded from you, then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich towards God."

You see, much of our life we spend treasuring the things that disappear. Have you noticed that? Character can't disappear; if you develop your relationship with God, that will not disappear for the rest of your existence. If you develop many of these other things like relationships with people and so forth, none of those things will disappear.

What do you spend the most time developing? Usually we spend the most time developing things that disappear. Why would we do that? It's because we don't have a concept of our being an eternal being. Many of you think you have a concept that you're an eternal being but your day-to-day actions demonstrate that you don't. This is where it requires being honest with oneself.

3.2. Luke 12: 31-34

Here's another one from the Book of Luke; Luke 12: 31-34. It says,

"Nevertheless, seek continually His Kingdom and these things will be added to you."

The actual statement I made was, "Seek continually God's Love and everything else will be added to you."

"Have no fear little flock, because your Father has approved of giving you the Kingdom."

At this stage, none of you really understand what that means because none of you have lived in the Celestial Kingdom in the Heavens. You don't understand what it means that God wants to give you the Kingdom of the Heavens. You don't understand what that would actually create inside of you, if you could actually envisage that place. In fact, many of you don't understand that you're actually creating locations to get you to that place right now in the spirit world. But let's continue.

"Sell the things belonging to you and give gifts of mercy, make purses for yourselves that do not wear out and never-failing treasure in the heavens, where a thief does not get near or moth consume. For where your treasure is, there your hearts will be also."

That's the scripture that I'm using as the basis of this talk today. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be. And where you spend your time is a reflection of where your heart is, so if we put that together, where you spend your time is where your treasure is.

If we want to grow, and we really truly want to have a everlasting existence that's happy, whether we're on the Earth or in the Spirit World doesn't really matter, we need to change what we treasure. In other words we need to put our time into the things that are going to bring us the largest long-term benefit for the rest of our existence. We need to start being very frugal with our time with the things that are unnecessary for our existence, but are things that feed our addictions.

This little exercise allows you to go through the process of that reflection. It allows you to see what's really going on, not what you believe is going on, not what you think is going on, but rather what is actually happening. How you spend your time tells you what is actually happening, not what you imagine is happening, but what is real.

3.3. Luke 14: 16-24

Here's another verse I'd like to read to you, Luke 14:16-24. It says,

"Jesus replied: A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited."

You see there was no email or phone, so you had to get somebody to go out and tell everybody, "Look come, ready, let's go."

"Come, for everything is now ready. But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, 'I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.'"

How many of you people buy a field without seeing it first? No one. I suggest to you, this man had already seen the field, probably fifty times before he bought it. And now he's invited to a banquet, and he doesn't want to go and he uses the field as an excuse. Is he very sincere about his excuse? No - he can't even be honest about it.

"Another said, 'I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I'm on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.'"

Again, I don't know about you but if you went and bought some cattle, wouldn't you first have checked them out to see whether they're any good for your purpose? Why does he need to go? It's only one night, it's not like it's for the rest of his days or existence that he has to go. So again, an excuse. [00:35:45.26]

The third one said,

"Still another said, 'I just got married, so I can't come.'"

Well I'm sure the man would have allowed him to bring his wife, but that aside, back then when we got married, we usually spent thirty days with our partner first and then there was a marriage ceremony. That's how you got married. The thirty days that you spent together was an indication that you were married but you weren't married yet, you were basically betrothed, if you like, to each other, and then you got married. You had a ceremony. So this man had already spent his thirty days enjoying the company of his woman without any interruption, and he's already gotten married to her and yet he still can't go to a one night banquet. Did he want to go? Definitely not.

"The servant came back and reported to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, 'Go out quickly into the streets and the alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.' 'Sir,' the servant said, 'what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.' Then the master told his servant, 'Go out to the roads and the country lanes then compel them to come in, so that my house will be full. I tell you, not one of those who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.'"

I gave that illustration for one primary purpose, and that was to illustrate to every person who was listening that we were being offered something from God and we did not appreciate it. In fact in our day-to-day life, we demonstrate the lack of appreciation we have for the gift of God's Love that God began to offer in the first century through my coming, and has still been offering for two thousand years.

We did not and we do not appreciate it. We do not even understand it to appreciate it, and yet there will be some people who come along afterwards who do appreciate it. Often it's the people who are downtrodden, poor, hungry, emotionally disturbed and other people like that who really start to appreciate what God is offering them, before the people who have something. That's often the case.

In fact there's a description in the Bible that says that God chose the noble things of the world to put the wise men to shame. There are many wise men over the last two thousand years who have been offered the truth and offered Love from God and have rejected it because they believe themselves to be so wise that they don't need it. There are many people who are just the average down to earth people, what many of us would refer to as the salt of the Earth, who have received it and who have far exceeded the intellectual and physical capacities that are available to those so-called intelligent people because they realise one thing, and that is, what God is offering you is better than anything else you could ever have. And that's something that the majority of us still do not appreciate, and our daily life demonstrates we don't appreciate it. Our daily life, because of how we use our time, demonstrates that we don't appreciate it. [00:39:35.17]

4. What has the most value in our life is proven by action

We need to do ask ourselves some basic things. If we can list our treasures, we obviously know what they are. If we can list our time and how we spend our time, we can obviously see what is the most important to us in terms of the use of our time. The main problem that we then have is the lack of self-examination, the lack of ability to see ourselves as we truthfully are, that's our problem. That's what I would call denial, it's like the top layer of most of our existence; we deny what is true to ourselves.

Honestly, if you deny what is true to yourself you have no hope of ever discovering truth while that condition remains. You're only going to discover more truth if you no longer deny the truth to yourself. It doesn't really matter what anybody else says to you about truth, if you deny it to yourself it is impossible for change to occur. Impossible. It doesn't matter if Jesus tells you the truth, Mary tells you the truth, other people tell you the truth, it doesn't matter if any angel comes to you and tells the truth. It doesn't matter if any Celestial spirit comes and tells you the truth, it doesn't even matter if your child tells you the truth or a wicked spirit tells you the truth, or some kind of malevolent person tells you the truth, or some angry person tells you the truth.

It doesn't really matter where you get it from; if you are in denial of the truth yourself, you'll never receive it from any of those locations. It doesn't matter how good or bad they are in terms of people or beings, you are still not going to receive the truth. We are only going to receive the truth if we treasure it, and I'm suggesting to you that that requires self-examination. The real question then becomes, and it's something I'd like to raise with you, how do you know what is now important to you, how do you know what is important in your heart? [00:42:01.21]

4.1. How you allocate resources determines what is valued

Well, you know by the time you spend on it. That's how you know - the time you spend on it. If that's the way we know, then we could look at the time we spend on all the different things we do. How do you allocate your energy, money and time? Well, currently you allocate it to the things that are the most important to you. I'm suggesting that it's great because it tells you exactly where you are in your own development and in your own relationship with God and it even tells you exactly where you are in your relationship with your partner and with your family. It tells you exactly where you are in developing personally with love, teaching truth, gifts that you receive; it tells you everything, just by knowing how much time you spend on everything. It tells you everything.

You have the ability to be completely self-aware just through one exercise. How many of you have ever done that exercise? Many of you still are not being honest with it because we can often do the exercise and then completely ignore the results as well. To do it, we're going to not ignore the results of the exercise; we'll actually take steps to correct the seeming imbalance between one thing and the other.

Having done this first list, we can say that these are all very, very good things to treasure.

When we did the time list, now we can see the difference between what we treasure and what we actually do; now we can be honest with ourselves and say, "Okay, this is telling me what I actually treasure. It is not the first list; this list is not what I actually treasure." Once we start writing the times next to everything, we really start seeing what we treasure. And we are often ignoring things that we think we treasure because we feel it's too hard to ever get them.

How many of you are not in a relationship at the moment? Leave your hand up if you treasure the thought of a relationship. Okay, most of the people still have their hand up and I'm saying you don't treasure the thought of a relationship. There's something blocking you from treasuring the thought of a relationship. Otherwise you'd probably be in one, that's what I'm saying.

4.2. Self-examination is required to see the truth

Participant: How do we allow for our own self-deception? We might say, "Oh I spend four hours a day praying," but if we're praying for a Mercedes and a good job that sort of stuff, how do we allow for our self-deception, where we think we're doing something but we're not?

This is the problem with a lack of honest self-analysis - you can deceive yourself for the rest of your existence. There's nothing you can do about it unless you are willing to see things more honestly. Most people are totally unwilling to see themselves honestly and through these discussions about love, lessons in love, ethics, morality and all these other discussions I've been trying to help you to expose a lack of honesty because it's only by being completely self-aware and honest that you'll actually have any idea of what's really going on. [00:46:02.16]

The other thing that needs to be considered is that God's relationship with you never lies to you. If you are not receiving specific things you're asking for from God, God's not lying to you, God's not withholding them, God's telling you there's something wrong. A relationship with God can greatly expose your lack of personal awareness, but to be honest, if you desire to remain completely closed to the concept of truth, you will remain completely closed as long as you stay in that condition, until you tire of that condition. That's how God created you, with free will.

You are allowed to make the choice to lie to yourself. You are allowed to do that. Most of us do that regularly; most of us do that out of preference. Many of you, when you come to me and ask me a question and I give you an answer, you lie to me almost instantly. You say, "Oh no, I don't feel I have that problem," or, "No, I can't agree with that," or whatever, and that's fine. It's no skin off my nose if you choose to continue to believe what you currently believe. None whatsoever; it doesn't affect me at all but it does affect you. It affects the rest of your existence; it affects how rapidly you are going to develop in your relationship with God.

At some point a person has to go through this place of stopping self-deception and getting into a place where they actually want to know the truth about themselves. Remember right at the beginning when you heard the Divine Truth, it was a lot of external truth and you really loved hearing it; it resonated with your soul. You could feel a lot of things in that and you really loved hearing it. Then you began to have to self-reflect about what's personally going on. That's when you had the most trouble. That's where the self-deception begins.

I speak on a daily basis to many people who are totally unaware of their own condition because they want to be. Many of you fall into that category, that you want to be completely unaware of your own condition; you want to be. People give you opportunities every day when they tell you the truth, to expose your own condition and you deny it completely because you want to. That is a lack of self-examination. To benefit from this exercise you need to be able to truly examine yourself the way God sees you and that is certainly not the way you see you because if it were, you'd already be at-one with God.

When you see yourself exactly the way God sees you, and you're working through the issues with God, you'll eventually become at-one with God. But if you do not see yourself the way God sees you, you can never become at-one with God. In fact when you become at-one with God, you'll see yourself exactly the way God sees you, exactly. That'll be the first time in your existence that you've ever seen yourself truthfully, and we need to be conscious of that.

4.3. What value is not about

What are the things that you actually value? Many times we think we value words but words are not valuable and I've got some quotes here that I wanted to read to you. Words are often empty, hollow, just said to prevent the truth from being known, isn't that a fact?

What about fanfare or show? Many of you are addicted to that; show is about creating an inaccurate impression of your soul. You're trying to have other people not see you when you do things for show.

What about facade or image? Facade is a costume for the undeveloped soul. Facade is a costume for the undeveloped soul. [00:50:37.07]

What about fake feelings? Well these may fool others but do you think they fool God? Of course not. There's a great verse that I'd like to read to you. It says (this is from Isaiah by the way) in the Bible 29: 15-16:

"Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the Lord, who do their work in darkness and think 'Who sees us? Who will know?' You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay. Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, 'You did not make me?' Can the pot say to the potter, 'You know nothing?'"

Many of you feel that way with God; as if God knows nothing about you and that you can carry on a facade. You can't. Give it up. What's the point of having it? If facade does not work with God, the primary relationship that you'll have that will benefit you for the rest of the life, when are you going to give it up? When are you going to give up the facade that you're wanting to maintain? When are you even going to give up the reasons why you want to maintain it?

Value is not about not fake holiness. You know what fake holiness is - it is being good without having any goodness inside. How many people are like that? You meet a lot of people even in day-to-day life who outwardly have the showy appearance of being good but there's no goodness inside. That's why I said to the Pharisees, "You are like whitewashed graves, inside you are like dead men's bones." What I meant was that not only were they personally tainted by the rotting flesh of their own souls, if you like, but they also had caused deaths of many other people and the penalties of those deaths were inside of their soul as well. That's what we do when we have fake holiness. [00:53:00.22]

The most dangerous people on Earth are the people who think they are right and are willing to be violent to prove it. You think about it, the most dangerous people are the people who are willing to be violent just to prove they are right. They'll do almost anything, they'll murder, rape, pillage. Why do you think the holy wars happened all through the Dark Ages? Because of people like that. Why do you think the Spanish Inquisition happened? Because of people like that. Not self-righteousness, feeling better than another just demonstrates arrogance, not love.

4.4. How you truly act and feel demonstrates what you value most

If we truly, truly want to see ourselves accurately, it is going to require of us a much deeper sense of self-reflection than what many of us have been engaging up to this point. What can we do about that? That's the question. I'm suggesting that you can grow your treasure in different areas than it currently appears. But to do that will require actionable change by you.

4.4.1. An example of valuing a relationship with a partner

What do I mean by that? Well, let's say you do this list and you find that you're spending time making people happy. Let's say making people happy is twenty hours of my time, my relationship with God is two hours and relationship with my partner is fourteen hours of my time. I can go, "Whoa, there's something way off here. I actually value the addictions that I get from other people more than I value my partner, that's pretty disturbing." What can I do to change that? It is the next obvious question, isn't it?

Now many of us do not ask the next obvious question; we don't go further. We see it how it is and then we either go down a hopeless road where we say, "It's like that but there's nothing I can do about it." Or we say, in this case with our partner, "It's like that but the reason is that my partner really doesn't want to spend much time with me. It's like that but my partner doesn't really want to engage sexually with me," so all we have is the other time available. Or, "It's like that but my partner has their job, their work and they like the family better than they like me, and that's why I don't get to spend much time with them." We often list a lot of reasons for why it is like it is, without considering our part in the creation of the truth. That's what we do - we blame the other or we blame the circumstances or situation rather than examining our own desires.

You see if I really wanted to change that situation with my partner, I wouldn't be putting up with my partner only wanting to spend fourteen hours a week with me. And to be honest, if they didn't have a similar priority system as me I'd be saying, "Well you need to go and find yourself a different partner, because this is what I want my priority system to be, this is what's going to make me happy, this is what's going to make us both happy in the long run. And if we're ever going to be at-one with each other as soulmates..." if you believe you're soulmates with the person, "...then there's going to be a need for there to be some kind of adjustment." You can't force your partner into making the adjustment but you can certainly change your own decision to sit in it as it currently is. [00:57:16.01]

Can you see, you have to take an action? Many of you don't want to take an action; many of you would not be prepared to leave your partner if they refused to further develop your relationship with each other. Many of you wouldn't want to do that because you want to maintain the status quo, you want to keep it as it is, and you don't want to lose what you've already got. You don't want to make it better or you want to make it better but not at the cost of losing it and that's a fear, that's an addiction.

Participant: What if you're not in a relationship because your partner was unloving but your partner is your soulmate?

I feel that the same thing applies. There are obviously things going on inside of yourself that you're not seeing that still cause the repulsion of your partner because the reality is that if your partner was strongly drawn to you, they would actually feel, "I want to be with that person," and then they'd start feeling, "I'm going to have to change to be with that person." That's what they would feel in the end, so there are obviously some emotions inside of the individual who's not with their partner that is causing the partner to be resistive to going through that process.

The alternative of course is that they're not your soulmate and somebody else is but you won't accept it. You want to hold on to that particular person; I did that for years, where I held on to one particular person thinking that they were my soulmate, unwilling to address the emotions involved with the release of that relationship. Once I went through the emotions, I knew exactly that she was not my soulmate, and I had believed that wholeheartedly up to that point. But as soon as you work your way though the different emotions that block, either your real partner will be drawn to you or if the person who's blocking you at the moment is your soulmate, they'll be drawn to you, they can't help it.

We're not trusting God's Laws - like, Mary couldn't help it. (Laughter) She would have like to have helped it, by her own admission. But she couldn't help it. You know, she'd run away, three months later she's going, "Oh I have to go back," because they won't be able to help it once you work through the actual blockages that open you up to your soulmate. That applies to every single one of these issues actually.

I'm not saying you're to blame, what I'm saying is that there are emotions inside of us that we are unwilling to feel that cause the stagnation of the development of the soul. Remember that the soul is the two halves, not just one half. It's two halves, so when I'm talking about the stagnation of the soul, I'm talking about both halves, not just the one half. If both halves aren't coming together, there's a very good reason in both halves.

Many of you are not prepared for the level of honesty you are going to need in order to develop your relationships. You're just not prepared for it at all. You're not prepared for the level of openness that you're going to need. Because in the end, to become one, you're going to need to know everything about your partner, everything - their thoughts, their feelings about every subject, what they've felt about all the different people in their life, everything. Many of you would be so emotionally challenged by that experience, you wouldn't handle it emotionally at the moment. You don't want to know and because of that you block your partner, and because you block your partner, you can't have a relationship. You're not going to have a stable relationship in that place.

These are all things that are telling us what our treasure is; what is our treasure under those circumstance? We are afraid; we are treasuring our fear. [01:01:17.20]

4.4.2. An example of acting upon fear

You know what I find very interesting about fear? What is the number one subject that I have discussed with you where I have consistently said to you over and over again that I don't know the truth about this particular subject but I'll tell you what I feel currently? What's the one subject that I've done that with?

Participant: Your identity.

My identity? No, I know for certain my identity.

Participant: Oh sorry, I meant us.

Oh no, I'm talking about what I said I don't know.

Participant: Earth changes?

Earth changes. That's the one subject. What's the one subject that most of you have acted upon? (Laughter) Can you see my point? The one subject that I have said that I'm not certain about is the one subject that the majority of you have acted upon. How logical is that? That's one of the most illogical things in a group of people that I've ever seen. It's like you don't hear what I'm saying to you. I'm saying, "I'm not certain about this subject." I open the discussion with, "I'm not certain about this subject but here's what I feel at the moment."

By the way I still feel they're going to happen but not any time soon, I feel at this point. I still feel that but the point is I have said to you over and over and over again, and I've prefaced every discussion that I don't really know the truth of this subject and yet many of you have changed your entire lives based on what I have said about that subject. Do you know why? Because it's certainly not logical is it? And whenever there's not logic, there's always an emotion driving something. So why do you think it is? [01:03:35.30]

Participant: Because we're really, really afraid.

Ah, isn't it interesting that I talk about a subject that you're afraid of and you listen more to that than when I talk about a subject that you're not afraid of and you don't really listen much at all to that? Isn't that interesting? This is a collective problem.

Do you know why the television media and the newspaper media and all of these different forms of the media love giving you bad news? Because you love receiving it. It's the thing you'll act upon. It's the thing that will change your motivation; it's actually the thing you treasure. You treasure nursing your fears, that's what you treasure, you treasure nursing your fears and your life is demonstrating that to you; for many of you right now your life is demonstrating that to you.

Now isn't that so interesting how the one thing that I'm not certain about is the one thing that everyone acts upon? All of these other things I am dead certain of; I am dead certain you can create a relationship with God, I am dead certain that God's got Love to give you, I know exactly how you can consistently receive it, I've talked to you about this hundreds and hundreds of times. I know exactly what the soul is like, I have memories about my own life, my own soul, Mary's life, her own soul, all these different things, I'm so certain of those things, they are concrete for me. And the one thing I'm not certain of is the one thing everyone listens to, and not only listens to but acts upon. That's an interesting thing. That shows you how much fear still dominates your decision-making process, doesn't it? [01:05:19.00]

Participant: Just out of curiosity, if you suddenly became certain, would we be less afraid? Or would we still act? (Laughter) Would we still act from a fear-based thing, because then you are certain? Because I know that you've talked about things you're dead certain about and you know for a fact and they address some fear in me and I struggle with those things anyway.

I agree. Because the fear exists in the individual, they will always respond to that subject in a very illogical manner.

Participant: Is it just driven because we really don't believe it's a seamless existence, that we are eternal?

Yeah.

Participant: And that there is no death?

How many times have I asked you to put up your hand if you believe that you're not afraid of death and then most of the audience puts up their hand? Yet your very life is demonstrating to me at that time that that's not the case. Why do you think I ask you these questions? Because I know you're lying to yourself, that's why I ask you them. I know the majority of you are still lying to yourselves about your fear of death. You're still lying to yourselves about it; your very life is demonstrating you're lying.

Do you think a person who's afraid of death goes and thinks they are a limited being with a limited resource, with limited anything, limited life? No. This is a demonstration of your fears. I ask you the question and still 90% of you put up your hands and say, "No, I'm not afraid of death anymore." I'm sorry but can't agree. Your very life is demonstrating to me that you are.

This is why self-deception is so dangerous. You can be asked the question from somebody and you go to me, "Why is he asking me that question again? Man, it's like a broken record sometimes." Do you understand? Does that make sense? Does that make sense? Does that make sense? (Laughter)

I'm asking you that because it doesn't make sense to you, do you understand? I can feel it doesn't make sense to you, that's why I'm asking you that question and this is what is happening most of the time in many of these discussions. You do not realise what I know yet, you don't. Because if you did, you'd take a lot more notice of what I said than you currently do.

If you think of the average four hour discussion I give to you, they are pregnant with life-changing material, every single one of them. For most of you, your life doesn't change afterwards so that indicates to me that you don't value what's being said. It tells me that you think you already know it and I'm saying that if you knew it, you would already be practicing it. You would already be doing it if you knew it. Don't tell yourself you know something when it is all just in your mind, it's just a figment of your imagination. When you know it, you will be acting it, you'll be doing it. Then you'll know it. You'll go through the process.

Many of you have yet to touch your fear, for example. Many of you have yet to even feel what it feels like. You can talk about fear until you're blue in the face but you're not going to know what I'm talking about until you start feeling some of it. That's the reality; you won't know what I'm saying. You will not know what it feels like to have a releasing-based emotion and receive a heap of Divine Love unless you go through that process at least once. You won't know. And you won't know what's blocking you unless you come face to face with the fact that unless you're at-one with God right now, there's a block. There has to be, unless we come face to face with that.

You see, we tell ourselves many stories and I would like to ask you: if you're going to tell a story, tell yourself a truthful one (laughs) instead of the lies that you've told yourself many times.

5. Actions come from true sincere feelings

Let's look at this issue of our treasure more closely because it's so important to address. Remember I said, just earlier, that your actions need to change. The only way that your treasure can change is for your actions to also change. Many of you are so terrified that you do not wish to change your minute-by-minute, day-by-day actions. You're terrified of all sorts of things; you're terrified of losing your relationships, you're terrified by being ostracized by people, you're terrified of feeling humiliated or controlled or manipulated or powerless, or any of this long list of feelings. The underlying real issue is that you're terrified to feel. You do not believe that you can cope with the feelings that are inside you.

That's one of the primary issues that you face. To have change, you must choose a different course of action. What are your actions based upon? They are based upon what you treasure, so the only way you are going to choose a different action is to confront the fear by treasuring something more than you did before.

Our treasure is where our heart is

So if I'm not addressing the relationship issue, if I learned to treasure a relationship more than I currently do then there's a higher likelihood that I will actually deal with my relationship issues. Many of us are not connecting with God every day. If I valued and treasured my relationship with God more than I currently do, then there's a higher likelihood I would connect with God more every day. Your heart will be where your treasure is, as I stated in the first century. [01:12:41.05]

So here's our treasure, let's say that it's the gold that's buried in our back yard. That's the lottery. If you treasure the things that we listed initially, then of course it would motivate certain heartfelt actions. It'll change what you feel in your heart.

So you say to yourself, "Alright, I spend fourteen hours a week with my girl but she doesn't really want to spend more time than that with me. If I confront her about that she'll probably go into some feeling that I'm being controlling and manipulative and all of these other things and she'll accuse me of different things and I don't want to feel what it feels like to be accused of those particular things." So I decide to not act and the reason I'm not acting is that in my heart, fear is actually more important to me and a greater motivator than love or truth should be.

5.1. We need to release fear in order to have love and truth enter our heart

Now can you see that if my heart is full of fear, love and truth is going to really struggle to enter it, isn't it? If you think of your heart like a bottle of water that's full, if I get my bottle of water and I try to pour something more into it while it's still full of something else, it makes sense that not much is going to go in. Logically, that's the case. This is what my heart is like. If my heart is full of fear and I'm unwilling to release that for some reason, then how can more truth or love enter while I've got all this fear in my heart? I must at some point value or treasure love and truth over fear before I'll be willing to release the fear that's in my heart.

Love and truth cannot enter our heart until we release our fear

That's what I need to do. I need to treasure the thing that is closer to God and closer to happiness more than the thing that is preventing my relationship with God and preventing my happiness. But most of us don't, most of us treasure the thing that's preventing our relationship with God and preventing our happiness more than we treasure the thing that could be creating our relationship with God and creating our happiness. Now you can see that that's not very logical but we are often not very logical beings because we are full of emotions that dictate a different set of logic.

That's why people came up with the whole concept of subconscious. Over history, many very powerful and very good intellectual, logical thinkers have looked at humanity and thought, "This is very interesting; they say they want to do one thing but they do something completely different every single day. They say they want this but they do that. Why?" And so you know what they did then? Instead of looking at it as a fear problem, they decided to create a second entity inside of you, called your subconscious. [01:17:08.14]

Instead of just thinking, "Well maybe there's a fear associated with everything that they're saying," compared to what they're doing, they say, "No, there's a thing called subconscious." They created a part of you that they believe is locked off from you that dictates most of your action. This is why I do not believe in subconscious. I believe that everything that is conscious is because you want to be conscious of it and everything that is unconscious is because you want to be unconscious of it. Quite simple. We have this problem where large amounts of fear have been developed over many millennia and have been ingrained in humanity for such a long period of time that now most of us believe that fear is the thing we need to honour above all other things. That's why we don't treasure anything else because we treasure our fear. We treasure our fear.

5.2. An example of a participant experiencing spirits' emotions

Participant: I struggle with that diagram, just because I feel that I'm feeling so much fear but that bottle of fear seems massive and all the negative emotions, the anger and fear, come up in every situation.

What do you call massive? The problem with such terms is that they're not really quantifying terms. To an ant, massive is your foot.

Participant: Okay. Alright, when I did my list of what I am doing each day, I look at how much time I'm releasing emotion; I feel, I believe, my fears, my anger and...

Now can I just stop you there?

Participant: Yeah.

What have I said to you almost every time I've discussed something with you?

Participant: What we believe might not be true?

No. I've said something about spirits and you and your emotions. What have I said specifically to you?

Participant: Oh okay, for me. That often in the past I've been experiencing spirits' emotions and not my own?

Yes, and why do you think I said that?

Participant: Because I was getting over-cloaked a lot?

No, you know why I said it? Because it's true.

Participant: Yeah, okay.

That's why I said it. You don't believe it's true. Remember I also said to you that you need to look at the reason why you allow this to occur.

Participant: Yeah.

Yeah. And that's what you need to do, still.

Participant: Still? Yeah, okay. Well I did feel I went through some of those blocks.

Yes, you believe that you did enough to get beyond that point.

Participant: Yes, sure.

5.2.1. Fear can be released rapidly

But I'm saying to you that honestly, most of you do not have the same level of fear that I had to release. Most of you have not been tortured to death. Who of you have been tortured to death? Mary, myself and Corny were tortured to death. (Directed to a participant, who put up her hand:) You were tortured to death? Physically or sexually? Okay, so there are four people in the room that have that level of extreme feelings to feel. And I processed through most of that fear in three months, so if you're taking longer than three months to process through your fear, what's happening? You're obviously not processing through your fear. [01:21:14.20]

You see, you don't want to think it's that easy. You want it to be hard. This is one of your addictions, Jen - you want it to be hard, you want to say to everybody, "You haven't been through what I've been through so it's going to take me years and years and years." You want to believe that it will take you years and years and years. You want to believe it and that's what stopping you from processing it. What I'm suggesting to you is that this fear inside of you is not as great as the fear of Cornelius, Mary or myself. Each of us have had quite difficult lives in the first century for us to work our way through about how we died.

If you're taking longer than three months to process through your fear, then what I'm saying to you is that you're not processing through your fear. You're either living in it or you're processing somebody else's.

If it can take a person who's been tortured to death three months to process through it, then logically it means that a person who's not going through it in three months obviously isn't experiencing the truth of their own fear. No, I'm not going to keep on answering your personal questions about this matter; I'm making a statement about what's going on inside of yourself. What I'm illustrating to you, Monique, is that you haven't listened to me about that. That's what I'm saying. I understand why you may not want to because you obviously have some emotional investments in processing other people's fear. Or in the case of Jen, you have emotional investments in not processing fear at all; of completely ignoring it, because it makes you feel like everyone should be sorry for you and things like that.

What I'm stating is that your treasure is your fear. Your treasure is your fear. You like doing it - why? Because it might give you a feeling that you're getting somewhere, it might give you a feeling that at least you're doing that. You don't want to feel hopeless feelings that you need to feel at some point, you don't want to feel those, you want to feel like you're progressing every day and so you place yourself in a position where it doesn't matter whose fear you're feeling, as long as you feel like you're doing something. And there are layers of rage that are inside of you that you're unwilling to process as well, for the same reason. But that comes from this treasuring of your fear.

5.3. Reasons why we treasure fear

What I'm trying to illustrate to many of you is that firstly love and truth can't enter a heart that's full of fear. If you treasure your fear over love and truth, you will never process through your fear.

Many of you are not looking at why you treasure fear. There are a lot of emotional reasons why a person might treasure fear. Some of the emotional reasons are going to be things like: it gives you a feeling of sorrow that you get from other people when you talk to them and they give you this lovely feeling that they understand. You like that feeling and if you have to give up your fear and release it then people won't project that at you anymore. You want people to feel sorry for you, that's the addiction. Many of you want a great fanfare. You want to have a great big emotional experience and have doctors and nurses and people and all the other people fussing over you so that they all know how hard it is for you. All that's fake. It's all just facade. [01:25:08.26]

Participant: I know that sometimes when I've dabbled and experienced some fear, I've felt completely powerless and I hate that feeling so much.

Yeah there's all sorts of reasons why a person will hold onto their fear or even nurse it. Some of you actually like it being there, you like the fear in your soul. It gives you all a sense of justification that you like to hold on to, such as the justification of "I shouldn't have to tell people the truth because they'll get angry with me." That justification. What's that about? Holding onto your fear of other people's rage, that's what that's about. You want to hold onto it, you want to tell yourself these things, why? Because then you get to avoid situations, you get to avoid truth, you get to avoid the actual emotion, there's lots of what I would call self-justification techniques that we use to avoid the actual emotions.

5.4. Confusion is driven by fear

Participant: I'm wondering how we can differentiate when we're genuinely confused and just really holding onto a fear? For instance, I want to work towards my relationship with God, I'd like to give up everything, all of my material stuff and just basically take that path but I'm concerned about the security of my children, I mean they're grown up really now. They might just need financial support from me. So how do we know whether we're just confused about what was the right thing to do or whether we're just really frightened? (Laughs)

Well I think your statement is good that confusion is always a sign that there's a fear associated because when we have no fear we almost automatically know what is the right thing to do. There is a very direct course of action when there's no fear. Confusion is fed by fear. Confusion and doubt are indications of fear still existing that cause us to not see the complete picture.

5.4.1. An example of balancing a relationship with God with supporting adult children

In the case of looking after children, particularly when children are grown up, I had to go through a lot of emotions with my two boys where I had to give up this idea that I was responsible for their lives. Tristan now is twenty-eight, Caleb's twenty-six. When they were eighteen or nineteen I was still in this mode of thinking that somehow I was going to have to provide what they needed in their life for them. [01:28:02.00]

After a while I realised that I had a fear and it was based around some feelings of guilt that I had to work my way through. I worked my way through some guilt, then I realised I had a fear of what might happen to me if nobody came to my support. Once I worked though that, I realised that I didn't need any personal support from anybody, ever, and that I'd be fine. Once I worked through a couple of other emotions similar to that, I started realising that I did not have to support both of my sons ever again. I could give them a gift if I wanted to but I did not ever have to support them.

Now both Tristan and Caleb initially felt a fair bit of resistance to that, naturally, because they were getting things before then. I bought them cars and I paid for their house; I'd done a number of things for them. Now they weren't getting those things from me and they had to contemplate their own fear of creating those things for themselves. So now they had to work out what they treasured, they had to start working out whether they were capable of creating those particular things in their lives, and in a very short period of time for Caleb, and a bit longer for Tristan, they eventually worked though the issue and decided that they could control their entire life by themselves. They didn't need me or anyone else at all and that freed them completely from a lot of fear-based actions.

I've found I was helping them stay in a place where they didn't have the confidence in God or themselves to create their own life. I was actually assisting them to do it. I realised in that process that my assistance of them doing it was based on my fears about God not supporting my life. I had to work my way through that and once I worked my way through that, I now felt completely open to the guys looking after their own lives, so much so that when I first met Mary, one of Mary's primary condemnations of me, I suppose I'd call it, was that I wasn't connected enough to my family and I'm saying, "But I am connected to my family, I love my boys, we get along together great, we have a great time together." [01:30:36.25]

But Mary's family would often ring her two or three times a week and expect her to live with them and all sorts of things. She was over thirty at that point in time and I'm going, that's not the kind of relationship I'd want with my boys anymore. We have a grown up relationship, where the boys, well I call them my boys, but the boys are completely self-sufficient in their life, they do not need me at all. Isn't that wonderful for them that they do not need me at all? But it's also wonderful for me because it allows me freedom to do the things that I want to do and it's not like I'm going to not spend time with them, because I do, but we now have complete autonomy. Again, it's only a fear that would cause the confusion.

Like yourself, I was confused about that decision back then. At the time I made that decision I felt like I'd like to do things for my boys. One of the reasons I was developing some property was that I wanted to be able to give the boys a house each and a car each. It was one of the motivations, one of many motivations, but after a while I realised I had to give all of that up because I was actually teaching my own sons that they were not capable of looking after themselves, and what a terrible thing to teach a person.

There are many of us who are fifty or sixty or seventy who still feel totally incapable of looking after ourselves, still wanting a backup plan. Why do most people in Eastern countries and in third world countries have families? Not because they love their children. For many of them it's because it's the source of their welfare in their old age; it's their backup plan. You know why they have boys? Because boys have a greater ability to earn more income and other things in those locations than girls, so they don't want girls because it doesn't help their backup plan. It's sad but true.

So my assumption whenever I have confusion is that I have got some fear that I am not seeing. It's just a general assumption I make every single time I'm afraid of something. [01:33:14.22]

5.5. Fear prevents us from being logical

Participant: When you're afraid, is it always best to be logical? Like, the best way you can?

Well it's impossible to be logical while you're afraid.

Participant: Okay well, I feel like I really struggle getting into my fear, logically.

Well it's impossible to be logical while you're afraid.

Participant: Well, I kind of make myself have a panic attack.

Amber, it's impossible to be logical while you're afraid; that's not sinking in.

Participant: Okay.

Why do you want to be logical while you're afraid? Because you're afraid and you don't want to feel you're afraid. You don't want to feel your fear. You want to nurse your fear and have it controlled; that's why you're attempting to be logical while you're afraid. I'm saying to you that it's impossible for you to be logical while you're afraid; you're going to have to release fear to be logical.

Participant: Okay, what is the best way to release fear?

What's the best way to release anything?

Participant: Feel it.

Yes. Fully, feel it. The fact is that you don't want to do that.

Participant: Okay.

So be honest.

Participant: I don't want to feel my fear, that's the truth.

Yeah, you don't want to. You would rather have children, you'd rather have a relationship with the same guy, when he's proven to you time after time that he doesn't really care about you and love you; you'd rather do all of these other things than feel your fear. That's the truth and I'm just stating what the truth is, I'm not condemning you for it, I'm just saying that there is a reason you're unwilling to feel your fear and you're willing to choose addictions in order to not feel it, that's your treasure. [01:34:56.09]

Participant: And the reason I'm not wanting to feel my fear, is that because I'm afraid of my fear?

No it's because you treasure your fear.

6. Developing treasures above our fear

Participant: How do I get rid of that?

I'm just telling you how to get rid of that. You have to take a personal choice inside of yourself to treasure something else more importantly and you're not doing that. You treasure your fear and your mum does the same thing; your mum is exactly the same as you, she treasures her fear beyond everything else as well. That's where your fear came from; it came from your mother. So she treasures her fear above everything else, you treasure your fear above everything else; at some point you've got to make a different decision.

Participant: Well I'm getting over having the fear so much.

Are you? Are you getting over it enough to go and feel it?

Participant: No.

Exactly.

Participant: So what's the best thing to do when I don't want to feel my fear but it's wrecking my life and in my head I really want to get rid of it, I'm over it.

That's the first step; the first step is to recognise the truth that the fear is the thing wrecking your life. It's not anything else that's wrecking your life, it's your desire to hold onto and nurse your fear that's wrecking your life. It's not the feeling of your fear that's wrecking your life, it's your desire to nurse your fear that's wrecking your life. There's a big difference between those two states. But now we're getting off the topic. Now we're talking about fear rather than talking about treasure, and I don't want to do that in this discussion because there are so many good things to share with you.

What I feel you are doing is treasuring your fear and what I'm suggesting to you is that you need to make a different choice, something else has to be treasured higher than your fear before you will feel your fear. [01:36:48.22]

Participant: Like a passion or something?

Like a passion, like a desire for God, desire even to have your kids grow up healthy, there has to be a higher feeling towards something else that's more important to you before you'll feel your fear.

Participant: Okay, and I don't have that.

No, but you can develop it, because every single person can develop it.

Participant: Alright, so I need something that's more important than my fear to focus on.

Yes, something that's so important to you that you'll go through your fear to get that other thing.

Participant: (Laughs) That sounds really good, thank you.

You have to have something that's going to pull you through this fear so that for every single fear that you have, that's going to pull you through, something that's so important to you that you would not give it up, even for the sake of your fear. That's the main thing.

You see it's what we treasure that will determine what draws us. That's the thing we need to bear in mind, it's the thing we treasure. Now once we treasure something and the treasure of that thing is inside of our heart, we will not give it up for the sake of any other emotion, for the sake of avoiding another situation or emotion. We will hold onto that thing for dear life. We'll be stubborn and we will not move on that particular thing once we've got something we treasure more than our fear, we will just hold onto that and it will draw us through.

6.1. A relationship with God can pull us through all fear

I'm suggesting that to have a complete relationship with God, the only thing that I have found strong enough to draw me through every single fear, and that's a fear of what happens in my relationship, a fear of what happens with my family, a fear of what happens with my friends, a fear of what happens with my life, a fear of what happens with my welfare, a fear of other people's opinions - I can go on and on about what those fears are. The only thing I've found that draws me though every single one of those fears is my relationship with God. My relationship with Mary doesn't cut it because if I focus on my relationship with Mary, it'll draw me through a lot of fears until I get to the point where our relationship is confronted and because that fear of our relationship being lost is greater, it will not draw me to the next step.

You see, your heart will be where your treasure is, and where your heart is will draw you through anything as long as it's greater than the thing it's drawing you through. The only thing I have personally found that is greater than everything is a relationship with God.

Now you may discover something else. I doubt that but you can try. I've seen many people try. Honestly, why do you think the sixth sphere of the spirit world is full of people? Because they don't treasure their relationship with God; there are other things they treasure and therefore they're not drawn to the point where they become at-one with God, because they still have fears. They are completely in harmony with the expression of their natural love, their human-based love but they do not receive Love from God because of certain fears. For some of them it is a fear of being controlled, a fear of those kinds of things that many of you are still afraid of.

6.2. An example of opening our heart in a relationship

Many of you are even afraid of love because you think love will be controlling. How many of you ladies do not want to enter a relationship with a man because you think he's going to control you? How many of you feel that way? Ladies, you could pretty much all put up your hand. Can you see the self-denial? How many ladies are there in the audience? Please put up your hand. You all have a fear of opening your heart. How many of you believe that? No I'm sorry; very few of you believe that. Very few, and this is something that you've got to bear in mind; very few of you believe that. Because if you believed that, you'd be wanting to address it as a high priority, wouldn't you?

Wouldn't you want to be going through the process of opening the heart and actually addressing the issue as a fear that you have? The fear of being controlled, the fear of being manipulated, the fear of the man having more physical power than you, the fear of him sexually overpowering you. We could list quite a few. You'll find that many of you, if not all of you, will have it. Why? Because it's something that's in most of humanity and it's something that needs to be released.

Participant: AJ, I had the experience recently where I felt my heart opening a little bit and I realised how terrified I was of that actually happening. Does it get to the point where the feeling of your heart opening and the feeling of love is so much nicer than the terrifying feeling.

Of course.

Participant: Does it overwhelm?

It gets to a point where you honour, or you could say where you treasure the feeling of love that comes from an open heart more than you treasure your fears of losing the relationship or having some problems of losing yourself in a relationship. Once your treasure is in the love-based feelings that you're now enjoying more and more, you'll say to yourself, "I do not want this fear to be in me anymore and I know I've got to feel it so I'm going to feel it." As I said, once you treasure something more than you treasure your fear, you will go through it. You will. [01:43:29.00]

Participant: It's so much more appealing to want the love feeling than to nurse the fear.

Yeah. But for many of us, we haven't felt love for most of our life, if not all of it. We've never even had the feeling of being loved so we don't trust. At some point we're going to have to treasure trusting God even though we don't know what the outcome's going to be. We're going to have to treasure the relationship with God more than we treasure holding onto the emotion.

For most of us that is not what is happening; most of us are treasuring holding onto the emotion more than the actual relationship. Many of us treasure holding onto the emotion more than our relationship with our partner. That's why we fight all the time with our partner, if we do, because we treasure holding onto the relationship more than we treasure developing in love. We need to be aware of these things.

7. Self-examination is required to see the truth

I would next like to speak about this very important issue of self-examination. Without it, without honest self-examination, you are not going to be able to even see what you treasure. It's very important that you see what you treasure, as we've pointed out to you. Whatever you treasure is where your heart will be and wherever your heart is, is what you will do.

It doesn't matter whether you think you value it or not. Wherever your heart is, that's what you value and you need some self-honesty, self-examination to know that. This is why I suggested that process at the beginning of this discussion with you, the process of listing all of the things you think you value and then of listing all of the things that you actually value with your time and comparing the two things. This is the start of self-examination.

Once you go through the start of self-examination, you can see what you actually treasure and you'll stop saying to yourself, "No I'm alright with that, no I'm alright with that." You'll go, "I'm not alright with that and I'm not alright with that and I'm not alright with that and basically I'm not alright with anything." Instead, many of us are saying, "Yeah I'm alright with that, yeah I'm alright with that, yeah I'm alright with that, yeah I'm alright with that. Why don't I have a relationship with God?" Because you've just ignored all the things you're not alright with. We want to tell ourselves so many things. We need to give up telling ourselves things and want to know the truth instead.

To actually progress, each of us is going to need to have a personal desire, not a desire that involves anyone else but a personal desire to actually know what the truth is. Nobody else is responsible for this desire. The reality is that Jesus can come along and say, "I know everything about you," and you could listen to him for years regarding everything about you and still not get anywhere. And you know why? Because unless there's a personal desire, no change will occur. When you have a personal desire, you do not need Jesus or anyone else to show you what to do because you've got a personal desire and through your relationship with God you'll be told everything you need to know. God's Laws are there as much for you as they are for me.

How did I progress in the first century and now? Not by listening to everybody else but by listening to what God was telling me through the Law of Attraction and through my own conversation with God. You can do exactly the same thing. You do not need another person to do this.

However, if you are not honest with yourself you'll get nowhere, you'll get nowhere. If you do not know how to examine yourself, you'll get nowhere. After this break I am going to go through issues of self-examination, and what the purpose of these issues of self-examination are, to help highlight what really is our treasure, because remember; what is really our treasure is what will motivate our heart. If our treasure isn't what we're saying it is then our heart will be motivated in completely different directions than where we'd like it to go. [01:49:22.05]

7.1. Placing treasure in a relationship with God

To truly change in a positive direction towards God we're going to need to have our treasure in that relationship. That is very difficult for many of us because we've not had that relationship before; we don't know how important it is for our future development and so we don't treasure it. Most of us have had a relationship with a person before, or we have a relationship with our family or with our friends or our workmates or other people on the planet, and so we finish up treasuring that more than our relationship with God because we've never had a relationship with God and we don't know how to value it.

But I'm suggesting that for our progress to continue exponentially and also continuously in our existence, the relationship with God needs to be our greatest treasure. For many of us, it's nowhere near our greatest treasure if you analyse the amount of time you put into it each day. For many of us, the amount of time we put into our relationship with God each day is driven by frustration, annoyance, a feeling of disconnection and many other emotions that we're going to have to release in order to work through getting to have God be our treasure, and many of us are not prepared to work though those emotions.

So we give up the concept. We like hearing about it because the soul sings, and it's a lovely thought. We like hearing about it but we don't really believe it's possible, and because we don't really believe it's possible we don't put much time into it.

What I've personally found is that many of the times I don't believe something's possible; I very rarely invest any time doing it. Have you found that? How many of you ladies or guys have gone out to your car, turned on the ignition, and your car doesn't start. You've got no idea about a car, so you don't even bother lifting the lid. What do you do instead? You ring for help. Someone else has bothered lifting the lid and understands those things and so you ring for help and you get them over and they help you. They don't teach you anything in that process though do they? And so the very next time your car doesn't start what do you do? You ring the firm up again.

Many of you are like that with me. Why are you like that with me? There are things I don't know so why are you like that with me? Why do you reckon you're like that? [01:52:46.29]

Participant: Because you've already bothered to lift up the lid.

Ah, you want to rely on my knowledge without having to go through the process of knowing how to learn this knowledge yourself. That's an emotional investment in an emotion, a desire to rely on somebody else, rather than on yourself.

After the break I'd like to talk with you specifically about how to go through more processes of self-examination and what we can do in that process to try to flip over some of our treasures, to try to get from one place with our treasures to another. When we look at our time, we see that our treasures are out of balance and get to a different place with our treasures where we can see, "Yes, this is the balance that I really intellectually and emotionally want to have in terms of my time now matching what I think are the most important things.

That's really where we want to go, isn't it? It doesn't really matter in the long run if you want to not try God as your treasure and try something else. As long as you're spending more time on that particular thing; you're having more integrity, are you not? It's one thing to say you honour this and you treasure this but if you're not spending much time doing it then I suggest to you that you don't really honour and treasure it.

We need to at least bring our treasure and our perception of our treasure into harmony with each other in order to be people of integrity. I'm suggesting we can even go further than that and I'd like to discuss that with you after the break.

Thank you. (Applause)

What Is Your Treasure: Part 2

Okay, are you finding this an interesting discussion about treasure? It's a very simple principle, isn't it? It's interesting that quite often we do not think of the simplest things. Our life gets so complicated that we finish being drawn up into all this conundrum and drama in our life without reducing our life back to some simple principles that would actually make it easier and simpler to handle and manage, if applied. This is one of them, I feel.

8. Self-examination is required to see the truth (continued)

8.1. Matthew 13: 13-16

I want to read you this section to start off, a verse. This one comes from Matthew though, not from Luke. This is Matthew 13:13-16, another Bible verse. It says,

"This is why I speak to them by the use of illustrations, because looking, they look in vain and hearing, they hear in vain, neither do they get the sense of it."

Does that sound like somebody? (Laughter) Okay.

"And toward them, the prophecy of Isaiah is having fulfilment which says, 'By hearing you will hear but by no means get the sense of it; and, looking you will look but by no means see. For the heart of this people has grown unreceptive, and with their ears they have heard without response, and they have shut their eyes, that they might never see with their eyes and hear with their ears and get the sense of it with their hearts and turn back, and I heal them.'"

Now that was a quote that I actually used in the first century from the book of Isaiah. I used to like reading the books of the prophets quite a lot, the reason being, of course, that prophecies were inspired by spirits and I used to love being able to read what different people on the Earth had written down from what spirits had said in the past. Isaiah was a medium or a prophet and he received a lot of inspiration from spirits. He wrote a lot of it down just as did many of the other prophets like Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Daniel and so forth. [00:08:19.08]

I mostly enjoyed reading those particular books of the Bible in the first century. Of course it wasn't a Bible then, it was just like records that were kept in the local synagogue. I used to spend as much time as I could in the local place of learning to learn about what these particular verses had said. I learned a lot of them in my first ten years of my life in the first century and they formed the basis of many of my quotations later in my life.

This particular quotation appealed to me because I could see how closed people were to the process of self-examination. It's the process of self-examination that is going to lead you into changing your treasure. You see, if you can't accurately measure what is currently your treasure (and I'm a poet and I didn't even know it), you will never adjust your way or your desires to have a new type of treasure, a different form of treasure.

For example, in the previous illustration I gave when I was talking about fear, if you don't know that you're afraid of a certain thing and you don't realise that that particular thing is driving all of your behaviour, then of course it's highly unlikely you'll change anything that you do in order to adjust that particular behaviour. So self-reflection is a very, very important part of progression.

8.2. Isaiah 29: 15-16

There's another verse that I'd like to read to you from Isaiah 29, verses 15 and 16. This one I read to you earlier.

"Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the Lord, who do their work in darkness and think, 'Who sees us? Who will know?' You turn things upside down as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, 'You did not make me?' Can the pot say to the potter, "you know nothing?'"

8.3. The analogy of the human soul being a clay pot moulded by God

Now I would like to focus on those verses where we have this concept in the scriptures, and particularly in the book of Isaiah, where Isaiah likened the human soul to a clay pot being moulded by God. That was the analogy that the spirit who guided Isaiah would often use. He was trying to get across to people that he was doing this mediumship for, that most of us have this basic understanding that we have the right to self-determination. We think that because we're given free will, that means we become self-reliant. That's what we believe and so many of us have become extremely self-reliant. We feel that we're the only person that we can really rely upon in our life.

Now we are the clay pot, in other words we are the person being moulded by God. Think about the process of moulding. If you imagine yourself as a potter and you've got this clay in front of you, you usually have a turning wheel. I don't know if you've ever seen that done but normally they sit down with a turning wheel and in the old days you used to have these pedals that would turn it for you. Back in our time they used to do a lot of moulding like that; you'd have some pedals that drove the process of rotation and you would then mould clay. Nowadays of course you've got a nice little electrical motor buzzing around with an adjustable speed and everything, that allows you to not spin it too fast because it'll fly apart and not too slow because otherwise you have all sorts of other problems occurring. So you've got this moulding process, which is like a platter with a lump of clay in the middle and it's spinning around.

Now imagine you're the potter. You're sitting down on the stool, moving your feet back and forward. You're adjusting it and around it goes. For those of you who have done it you know that if you spin it too fast, what happens? Whatever shape you're attempting to make just flies apart, collapsing and you have all sorts of problems. Now of course God does not want that to happen to your soul. God's not interested in destroying your soul while he's trying to create something.

You also know that if you don't go fast enough there are all sorts of abrasions that occur, the surface starts coming off, you get all sorts of stickiness occurring and it's not a smooth operation if you don't use enough water. If you use too much water it all becomes floppy and flies apart, so there's quite an art to the whole thing. Eventually if you do things right, you end up with something that is useful. And then of course you might put that in some heat to dry out all the moisture so it retains its shape and so forth. [00:14:29.11]

Now that's what God's trying to do with you; God's trying to mould you into what God created the potential of you being in the first place. The issue is that most of us have very little trust in that. We believe that our concept of who we are is better than God's concept of who we could become. In other words, as that verse said in Isaiah, we believe we know better than the potter who made us.

God is trying to mould us from a lump of clay (left) to the best we can be, by analogy a vase (right)

That's our problem; our underlying problem is one of arrogance. That's the underlying problem in the human race really, this arrogance developed right at the very inception of the colonisation of this Earth. When I say colonisation, two people came to this Earth through the creation process with God; they went through the process, their soul enveloping bodies that God had created. When you talk with those two people, Amon and Aman, you'll find that they felt that they could usurp the potter; that they could actually determine for themselves what their own pot should be. That's basically what they'd decided. They decided that they wanted to become even more than a pot; they wanted to become God, who had the right to determine everything.

They believed, because of their own internal power and what they could do in terms of manipulating matter and so forth at the time, that they could become like God and not have to be governed by God's Laws that are placed on the universe. That's what they finished up believing. This arrogance grew in them to the point where they decided that the best choice they could make was to ignore everything God was saying, in other words they became self-reliant. They were now relying on themselves.

In that process they took the person who was forming the clay out of the equation and now it's like the pot trying to make itself. How successful would that be if we were talking about a piece of clay? You just lump the clay on the potting wheel and watch. (Laughter) One hundred years later, still watching. One thousand years later, still watching. By now it's all dried out and crumbly and two thousand years later it's all shrivelled and dried out; there would still be bits of it there.

This is what's happened to the human soul. We've shrivelled up, we've become so constrained by our own belief that we have the power to do everything ourselves that we have gotten to this condition where what we believe is real is just so destroyed compared to its original creation. We've cut out the hands forming the clay. That's what we've done. We did it because we have a sense of arrogance and fear about God as well; we have a lot of fear associated with God. [00:18:30.20]

Many of you don't realise it but one of your primary fears about God is a fear that God will tell you what to do all the time. Many of you have not embraced any religion in the past because those religions tell you that you have to do what God tells you to do all of the time. That's one of the fears that many people have about embracing religion. I'm not suggesting we should embrace religion, I'm just saying that we have been in some of these fears for most of our lives. Now before we can have the potter involved in our life again, in other words, before we can have the hands of God moving over our soul, moulding our soul back into its potential creation, the clay has to determine one thing and that is, "Does he or she want that to happen?"

We have all sorts of reasons why we don't want that to happen. This is where self-examination is such an important process because if we do not examine ourselves, logically we can see that if we take away the hands of the potter who's forming the clay, in the end we're never going to end up being the thing that God designed us to be. That makes logical sense, yes? We need to get the hands back in the process; we need to invite God back into this process. That means to start honouring all the ways in which God can be involved in the process of moulding us. Obviously God has laws that help us to be moulded, that helps Him to mould us.

But there's also other people who God has already connected with who can help mould us. There are spirits who are in a good condition who can help mould us. In fact all of you have a guide who is there to help mould you, or if you think about it, to help God mould you back into what is the potential of what you can be.

The problem is that many of us are resistive to this process because we don't want to look at the reasons why we don't want the hands of God involved in our life. We don't want to examine ourselves to see why we are rejecting God most of the time. We don't want to know why. We're constantly trying to avoid God while at the same time telling ourselves that we want to connect to God, which is again a very illogical thing to do, but it's something that we do again and again because of the emotions that we do not wish to feel.

8.4. A lack of self-examination is evident through actions

A person who's truly into self-examination would not continue in this state. A lack of self-examination is evident through how we act. Here are some things that I've written down that I'd just like to state to you as lines:

Many of us are still trying to cover over badness and error that exist within us; do you know what I mean by that? We're trying to make out that the thing that God's exposing through the different laws and through His own hands isn't really there. We're trying to cover over the fact of what our true condition is. [00:22:31.00]

Many of us think that God does not see and many of us actually believe that God doesn't even care enough to see.

Many of us feel like we're going to be quite solid when we die; many of us feel that when we die, everything will be pretty predictable. However that's not the case for the majority of us actually and the reason is that we can't see ourselves as we truly are yet. The only time your future becomes more predictable in terms of its safety and security is when you see yourself more accurately. Otherwise, you're going to have a life full of very negative surprises. In other words, you'll see things happening after you pass that you never expected to happen because you never wanted to see the emotion that created it in the first place.

There's only one type of development that's really going to help you change and that is development of your character and nature. If I am very invested emotionally in my current character and nature, I am going to hold onto that. If I hold onto that, I am never going to be able to expose my true character and nature. Many of us don't even want to see our true character and nature. Many of us get it pointed out to us every day, and we want to remain completely oblivious to what is happening. In other words we're telling the potter, "Hands off." (Laughs) That's what we're doing, we're telling the potter, "Stay away from me, I want my own concept of me." [00:24:32.17]

That is not a place of self-examination. It's amazing how many conversations I have had with many of you individually where I have eventually had to remove myself from the conversation because everything I say is rejected by you, the person who's receiving the information. It's, "Oh no I'm not doing that, no I don't feel I'm doing that." Okay, I'm a pretty easygoing person, I'm okay with you believing that if that's what you want but I don't feel drawn into helping people who have a lack of self-examination.

I've had to have a lot of self-examination in my life in order to change. A lot of the things haven't been that pleasant to see, and even more difficult, they haven't been very pleasant to feel, but I've gone through the process that I'm encouraging you to go through. But it's very hard to encourage someone to go through something that they're not even aware of, and do not want to be aware of, and this is where it gets down to that sincere treasure. If my treasure is my relationship with God, I will automatically be drawn into self-examination.

9. Examples of a lack of self-examination

Now I would like to read some accounts out to you. These are all things that have been happened in the last few weeks to Mary and me. You might know some of the people involved and I'm sorry if I embarrass any of you as a result of this. I'm not going to mention the names of the people involved but unfortunately some of you may know them and there's not much I can do about that. I want to list a number of different things that have gone on, just to give you an example of a lack of self-examination because you'd be surprised how often in the course of any conversation self-examination is just not at all present.

9.1. AJ's hairdresser

I went to my hairdresser to get a haircut a few weeks ago. She's a person who's heard the Divine Truth and knows about it. She has an arrangement with us where we give her a gift rather than her asking for money to do our haircuts. She usually does a very good job of our haircuts. As usual, I sit down to have my haircut and she starts asking me questions about her personal life, and she stated that she felt that she had a very low sense of self-worth. How many of you feel that you have a low sense of self-worth? Quite a few. She was trying to convince me that she had a low sense of self-worth and I finished up having to say something to her about it.

I just said, "Well I'm sorry but I disagree. I feel that you believe you're more valuable than most other people who you meet and that you actually believe you're more valuable than I am." And she goes, "What? I can't agree with that," and she wanted to protest at that. And I said, "Would you like to know how I know that?" And she said, "Yes," as she often does.

Well this is the first way; here is a bit of maths for you. When I go and get my haircut from her, I normally give her from between $38, which is the minimum I've given her for my haircut, to around $50. That's what I normally give her for my haircut. [00:28:26.11]

Now it takes her around twenty minutes to half an hour to do my haircut. Let's say it takes one half an hour, that means that I give her the equivalent of $100 per hour of her time for doing my haircut. Okay. Many of you are thinking that's a fairly pricey haircut, but it's not a pricey haircut if it's a good one. In addition, while she's doing my hair, she asks me a heap of questions about her personal life, which I answer straightforwardly, so I'm actually giving her a consulting session on her personal life for one half an hour as well, which of course I do not charge for; I give it as a gift. So that's the value that I place on her. I asked her what she normally charges per hour for her haircuts and she says she normally charges $40 per hour.

So I value her at two and a half times what she values herself in terms of her time. That's not the value I've placed on her soul, that's the value I've placed on her time. I have valued her time at two and a half times more than she values her time, so I love her and value her even with her time at two and a half times what she values herself. These are my actions and they prove, as I said earlier, that what you do proves your value. What you do proves everything. Once I pointed that out to her she had a bit of a cry and of course there was a bit of a slip up with the hair, but that's what you get when you're having your haircut. [00:30:30.05]

I then asked her about when she gives me a gift for my time. Many times we have discussions about her personal life and so forth. During those times she does not give me anything at all but she does come along to the seminars sometimes. She told me that she gives me around $30 for four hours of my time. What does that work out to be? $7.50 per hour, that's how she values my time. So I value her time at $100 per hour and she values my time at $7.50 per hour.

Then I said to her, "What do you value more? Can you honestly say you value me when this is the equation? Now how many of you would be pretty confronted with that conversation? Yeah? Well there were a few more slips on the hair, understandably perhaps. (Laughter)

You see, she is actually demonstrating what she values in her personal life. This is not a judgement; it's just a statement of truth about what I've already taught you today. Remember I said at the beginning of this to look at how you spend your time, what goes on with your time. The beauty of doing an equation like this is that you start seeing the reality of how you feel, and you also start seeing a lot of reasons why you feel how you feel. If I took offence quite easily, you could see that I could take offence there, couldn't I? She's valuing me at around twelve times less than she values herself. That's pretty significant, isn't it?

This is why I couldn't agree with her that she had low self-worth; because in the equation it would appear that I had the lower self-worth, because I continue to give her things that she does not value as much as she values her own activity. It also tells me that that was the value that she was placing on Divine Truth and this is what I said to her: $7.50 per hour is how she values Divine Truth. By the way that's higher than many of you value Divine Truth, ironically. Many of you value it less than that, in terms of what you actually give. It's still higher than many but in comparison to how she valued Divine Truth, it was about twelve times less than a haircut.

Can such a person then claim that Divine Truth is the most important thing in their life? Of course not. Can such a person even claim that they honour me as much as they honour themselves? Of course not, because they don't. They don't honour my time as much as they honour their own time. What I'm pointing out to you is that she had the belief that she honoured me more than she honoured herself, but the reality just in looking at that one equation of how she values time proves that that's not the case.

I then asked her, what she gets from her haircuts that she does not get from Divine Truth; because that's the reason she values it more. She gets approval. She's quite a good hairdresser, a lot of people go to her, they honour her time, she gets to feel honoured, she gets to feel loved though the process, gets to feel a bit special through the process, gets a whole lot of emotions.

Now the trouble with Divine Truth is that it doesn't give you any of those emotions because it's often quite confronting. You see, it's the emotions that drive the value; where the heart is, that's where the treasure will be. The treasure and the heart are linked together. Her treasure is feeling the emotions that giving haircuts gives her and that is more important to her currently than the Divine Truth and what that gives her. That gives her a lot of thinking problems, having to work things out, having to act differently, having to confront her own behaviour, they're things she doesn't get any addictions met from, so of course she's not going to value it as much as she values giving haircuts. How are you going to value whom you hear the Divine Truth from if you don't actually value the Divine Truth itself? How am I going to value my hairdresser if I don't value the job she does for me? You can see it's impossible, isn't it?

If I value my hairdresser then I will value the time she spends doing my hair, I will value the job she does. If you value Divine Truth, you'll also value where it came from. Where it came from might not be from me by the way. It might be other people who shared it to you; you'll value them the rest of your life. Do you know what I mean? How many of you are here because Peter invited you to come to something? There's a good ten or fifteen, so you could say Peter has multiplied himself through his desire to share. You can see that? Many of you for a long time in the future will value the fact that he brought you to the truth that you now appreciate. What do you feel about that equation? Any comments?

Participant: If the hairdresser had some technology where she could cut one hundred people's hair at the same time, would you still give her a $100 per hour?

I would value her at what I feel it is worth. See, I feel she is worth $100 per hour at the moment, that's what I feel a good haircut's worth to me.

Participant: But if she was doing ninety-nine people at the same time as she was doing you?

I'd still give her $100 if it were the same haircut, yeah.

Participant: Okay.

Why would I not? Just because she's bought a mechanical device that doesn't cut off your ears in the process or something, why wouldn't I? You see to me it makes no difference; it's my value that I'm placing on it, not theirs. Do you follow that? It's my value that I'm placing on it. My personal feelings about a haircut are that it's a lot less valuable than Divine Truth; that's my personal feelings but it's not hers. I pointed out to her that it isn't hers even though she was claiming that it was, you see? She was also claiming that she valued me more than she valued herself and I said I couldn't agree with that and I had proof. This equation is proof that she doesn't value me more than she values herself. That's okay with me, I'm not saying that she needs to change or anything, I'm just pointing out the truth of the fact to her.

9.1.1. Rage impedes accurate self-analysis

Participant: I haven't touched upon any abundance emotions or issues at all but I find it highly offensive to compare someone's worth to a piece of paper. I realise that I have a rage towards money, so I'm finding it resistive.

Yeah, and I don't have a rage towards money so I can actually do this. I also don't have a rage towards her for valuing me less than she values herself. She does have a rage towards men about not valuing her as much as what she values herself but I don't feel that towards her.

See, a lot of this rage prevents even this kind of analysis. Do you understand? We get so embroiled in the feelings that we have about it that we're not even able to logically think about what's really going on half the time. We need to get rid of that rage. I feel you need to get rid of the rage towards money and once you do you'll recognise the reasons why it was created. There are a lot of positive reasons why it was created. It's just being misused a lot but there are positive reasons; it allows all of us to have a sense of how something is valued or what it's worth. It even helps me make this comparison, ironically. And that in itself, if somebody learned from that and went, "Wow that's the comparison," then wouldn't it be a wonderful thing that money's been very helpful in helping them grow?

I don't feel any of those feelings towards money, riches, fame; whatever a person wants to have, it's up to them what they want to have. I feel, though, that it is very valuable to compare the sense of worth so that a person can see the truth about themselves. That's what I'm pointing out. [00:41:21.23]

Participant: It just highlights for me with a lot of clarity how emotionally invested we can be in the addiction, whether we're being paid for it or not.

Yeah, but the thing that really struck her when I was speaking with her about this was how emotionally invested she was in being a hairdresser and how large that investment was in comparison to growing her own soul. The comparison just struck her instantly and for that reason it was a great conversation, I thought, yeah.

Participant: AJ, I'm just wondering if the haircut would be for free, would you still go to her?

The haircut was for free.

Participant: (Laughs) Yeah, but you still paid some money for that right?

Because I appreciate her.

Participant: She didn't ask that money from you?

No, she never asked any money from me.

Participant: She's not a professional hairdresser?

She is.

Participant: Is she working in a salon, or...?

No, she has her own salon.

Participant: Ah okay, thanks.

She's a professional hairdresser; she never asked any money from me. Would you ask money from me when I'm paying two and a half times what you would normally ask?

Participant: No, I just didn't get it.

Yeah. You see no hairdresser ever asks money from me because I always give them more than what they'd normally ask.

Okay, are you alright with that example? Can you see that I'm making the point about self-examination? We resist self-examination so much that we cannot even logically analyse what is actually going on in any situation. We want to tell ourselves that we appreciate things when we don't; we want to tell ourselves that we have a huge amount of gratitude when our actions demonstrate that we don't.

How many times does that happen in a relationship between man and a woman (or between a male and a male, female, female, it doesn't really matter)? In a relationship, how many times do you say, "Yes, I really do appreciate that," when your action is demonstrating in that moment that you do not? It's very frequent, trust me. [00:43:46.00]

Okay, let's go on. We could pull out heaps of examples, but I just wanted to give you some kind of illustration of the different kinds of analysis you can do to help yourself work through the issues of why you don't want to analyse yourself and grow and change your treasure. You see, if you can't see what your treasure is currently, it's highly unlikely that you're going to change it. If you can't be honest about what it currently is, how are you ever going to know what to do to change it?

Now that my hairdresser is aware that she actually values herself more than another, she can contemplate that. She can examine that, she can feel about why, she can work out what the haircut's giving her in terms of emotions that she can't get from Divine Truth, what kind of addictions are being fulfilled through the process, and she can also work out why she feels much stingier towards me than what she expects me to give her. What she would expect me to give her was $40 an hour or $20 for my haircut. That's what she would expect from me but she doesn't expect the same thing from herself when she's coming to one of my seminars, so there's an ethical issue there as well. There are so many issues she can look at just in that one equation, issues of self-examination that could help her grow towards God, that's what I'm saying.

9.2. Disc copying

Okay, let's look at number two. Now myself and a number of others, Luli, Igor and Lena, are often given discs to copy. Lately I've been doing a lot of the disc copying, and often the discs are given with data on them. We're providing a free service but then we've got to get the disc, we've got to go through the disc and see what data is on it and then we've got to work out what we're going to do with this data; do we take the data off? We can't format the drive; if we've got 500GB of data that we've got to put on it and it's only a 500GB drive and there's already 150GB of data on there, then we really have to copy things individually, or email the disc owner to say, "What do you want copied because we can't put all of the files on there?" and so forth and so forth, it just goes on and on and on. We're providing a free service and many of you believe that because we're providing a free service, it means we should also do a heap of additional work for you in order to make that service happen. [00:46:31.08]

This is an illustration: I had an interaction with another member of our audience where a disc was given to me. It had 500GB of space. On our website it says to only give us discs 750GB or larger but this one was given to us with 500GB. Now at that time I could just fit our entire system on that drive, however on the drive was 130GB of private data, so I had to look at the drive, I had to make a decision, was I going to delete everything on the drive, but what if they were using it for other things. I don't want to delete their information and so forth, so I had to choose what I'm going to selectively copy on the drive. This is a process that normally takes me about five minutes of my time because I've automated the entire process, but now it's already taken me fifteen minutes to work out what's going on.

I then had to email the person back, ask them what they want to do, wait for their reply, and on it goes. Anyway I decided that instead of doing all of that, I would email the person about their unloving behaviour. Now this person responded really well to my email. This was my email:

"I am now doing the hard disc drive copying service. You left us a hard disc drive to copy but have not followed the instructions on the net about it. For example, you gave us a drive with the total space of 500GB and with over 130GB of space used, which means that there are only 370GB free. This means that we must delete everything on the drive or selectively copy to the drive."

Deleting everything on the drive wouldn't take a long time but selectively copying the data takes a long time because you have to be there copying each file; when it's finished, copy another file, copy another file, it could take you a whole day. Remember we've got 500GB of data; we're talking about something like four hundred and eighty videos, and about two thousand sound files. There's huge amounts of data and if you've got to selectively copy it one by one it's going to take you forever. I said,

"Of course would take a very long time and I cannot do it for you. In addition, I do not know if the data on this drive is important to you or not so I don't want to delete it. You need to think of the lack of consideration and therefore lack of love in the manner in which you gave me the drive."

"This necessitates me using my time to analyse the drive, ask you what to do about the drive, communicate with you about the problems with the drive, wait for your response, enquire about how the drive is to be returned to you, and use my time writing this email to you and travelling to the post office in order to post it back to you and so forth."

Imagine if you had to do all of those things, how much time would you be using? The donation at the time was $20 along with the drive. I'm not sure what that was for and I haven't asked the person involved and he doesn't need to worry about it either. This is how I feel; he doesn't need to worry about it.

"If you had provided written instructions then I would not have had to ask these questions nor had to waste the use of my time. If you wish to receive the disc update then please make sure that you follow the instructions about it on the net. You have also not left instructions about how you are going to get the drive back. You are placing a lot of work onto people who are giving you a service for free. Even if you consider your donation of $20 is a fee for service, I have already used up that amount of time just looking at the drive and writing this email to you. Some things for you to consider. Cheers mate."

Now the man involved did consider those things and I got a lovely email in response from him. I actually finished up taking the drive to his home because he lived in Kingaroy and our post office is in Kingaroy, so it's pointless me posting it, I might as well just drop it off at his house. So I left it at his house.

What's going on there, do you feel? Where's the lack of self-examination there?

Participant: An expectation of others doing for you, it's lack of self-responsibility?

Yeah. Isn't it also not considering what might be involved, not even wanting to know?

Participant: Yeah.

Here's a disc and you do it for me and here's $20 and that should cover it for the postage. Sure, it would cover the postage but not any time or effort or anything else. Nor will it cover any issue to do with the interaction that then had to go on.

Participant: And it totally disregards any value for the material.

I agree, it does, yes. Mind you, the material is for free and we're happy to give it for free.

Participant: When you were saying it, it feels to me that when we are offered something for free, it wouldn't have any value in it for a start.

Oftentimes.

Participant: But it didn't cost us anything, there was no effort required on our part to accumulate and it highlights to me just how much we're consistently willing to take.

Yeah.

Participant: Especially from those people who offer their time and their service.

Especially from the people who are willing to give.

Participant: Yes.

9.3. Feeling gratitude for the gifts we are given

This is something that I'd actually like to address with you from a point of self-examination. Oftentimes we pay people who are not willing to give while at the same time not giving anything to the people who are willing to give. Do you know what my opinion is? It would be much more ethical to give money to the people who are willing to give and to withhold money from the people who are not willing to give; that would be more ethical. It would actually also confront their emotions more, but often we respond the most to the rage or anger in people who are demanding, and the people who are friendly, easygoing and do things for us without thinking, we often don't value what they do as a result.

So there's some self-examination there. This will all interfere, won't it, with our relationship with God because if I'm doing that, if I'm treating you like you're worth less than me, then I don't have God's opinion of you and if I don't have God's opinion of you, I can never become at-one with God, ever. [00:53:35.28]

Participant: Just you saying how that interferes with our relationship with God, I recall a time down at the learning centre at Wilkesdale once where I saw you receiving God's Love and I saw you giving back love to God and it made me question in myself; I'm forever asking God for Love but how often do I actually from my heart, genuinely love God back?

Yeah.

Participant: And voluntarily, not because it's been given to me and I feel overwhelmed by it so therefore I have gratitude but how often do I walk around with the feeling of gratitude and love for God in my heart?

Yeah. In particular, most of us would like to be loved by other people before we love them. That's the reality; we want to be loved by somebody before we will love anybody. Now God loved us first. There's a lovely verse in the Bible that speaks about the fact that God loved us first, hence we need to consider taking action to love in return, but we often don't. We often don't consider those particular things. What does this say? It says that a person's convenience is more important than the truth. In the case of this example, the convenience of the individual involved was more important to him than the truth itself was to him. If you reflect upon your own life, that's often the case too.

How many times have we held a seminar at a location that you don't like? Remember when we were over on the coast? We had that lovely venue where people could come to at Buderim? That was a generous donation of the Patella family and it was just such a lovely venue to come to, but most of us didn't appreciate it; that's the reality, and that's pretty much the reason you don't have it anymore. We don't appreciate these things, we don't appreciate the gifts, we often even think, "Oh the person's rich, they should give it," or, "The person knows how to do it, why don't they do it? The person knows what to do, why don't they do it? I'd have to find out, I don't want to find out, they know already, why can't they do it for me?" These are all demonstrating unloving conditions. [00:55:59.25]

9.4. Demands upon AJ and Mary's time

We gave one lady around two hundred DVDs over a period of a year or so for her personal use. We answered many of her very demanding emails and when I say we, Mary, Luli and I were involved in answering many of her emails. She donated a total of $80 over that entire time so our costs in DVDs without our time involved far exceeded the donations that we received from her.

She wrote to Mary and me and she wanted us to answer some interview-based questions. We told her that unless she was willing to do it in a public setting with videos we couldn't do that because we wanted to use our time more wisely. We couldn't just keep on answering individuals' questions over and over again without it benefiting more than just the individual - we want it to benefit a lot of people.

Mary explained all of this to her. She absolutely ignored everything Mary said to her and actually requested again, this time sending the list of her questions that she said would only take ten or fifteen minutes to answer. However she asked nearly seventy or eighty questions I think it was; I can't remember how many questions but it was quite a lot, and she expected us to answer them all in writing in fifteen minutes. Mary wrote back to her and said, "No we cannot do that, we've told you before we cannot do that and the reason why; we've told you the reason and now you're just ignoring what we're saying and ignoring the fact that we have our life and we're allowed to choose what we do with our time. [00:57:53.24]

The lady of course didn't respect any of this. She wrote an angry email back, attacking us and saying that now she'd found out our real character and nature. She said that she's never going to listen to Divine Truth again and she's going to get on forums and tell other people about how bad her interaction was with us and so forth. So I wrote back to her and told her how selfish she was (laughs) and that I was actually now going to put every single interaction that I'd had with her on the net. Because she was willing to go public with all of these things, I was willing to go public with the truth. So I did that. She then wrote back to me and she actually started to take legal action against me for placing the record of her actual transactions, the actual things she'd said on the internet. This is not a person who's very interested in openness and truth.

Now because of the different legal things that happened, I had to remove the record of what actually happened from the website. It didn't worry me too much because all I did was put in its place my own writing of the truth of what actually happened. (Laughs) So I don't think she accomplished much in the end. But why did she do it? Why did she do all of that? She now dislikes Mary and me intensely. She has gone to some effort to slander us and so forth; she's talked to other people about us and how bad we are and how disappointing it all is and all that kind of stuff, after personally watching more than forty videos. I would suggest she hasn't learned very much in watching those forty videos. But what is the underlying problem?

Participant: She values herself above everybody else?

Yes, we told her that actually. We even were loving enough to say to her that this is what is happening.

Participant: And she values herself and her own needs above God and God's Truth?

Yes. What else?

Participant: Her addiction was not being met.

Yes, so what was her addiction?

Participant: Demand to have it her way.

You know what her addiction is? It is her desire to maintain the facade that she was a loving person. As soon as first Mary confronted her and then I confronted that desire of hers to maintain the facade, she went into this huge panic and rage as a result. Her desire to maintain a facade was so important to her that eventually I exposed her facade on the internet in a Law of Attraction event, just in a place of truth and she even attacked that exposure in order to avoid her facade. What did she value? Her own opinion of herself above what the truth was demonstrating to her, that's what she valued. Where was her treasure? In her own opinion of herself, that's her treasure. [01:01:29.28]

You know, many of us can learn from that because we have a very similar viewpoint that our own opinion of ourselves is our treasure. We're holding onto that for dear life and we're going to hold onto that till the end of time, we're going to hold on. Do you know how many spirits there are in the hells doing that? I've got friends from the first century who are still doing that, sitting in the hells in all this torment, still holding onto their own opinion that they're right.

Participant: Just going back to the hairdressing person for a moment, you said that her belief was that she had very low self worth and then you demonstrated to her that she didn't.

Well no, I didn't say she didn't have low self worth, I'm just saying to her that she felt other people were worth less than her.

Participant: So then with this lady is it fair to say that she believes that her demands and needs are justifiable because I want to grow and learn in maintaining the facade?

She also believes that she can demand our time, that she should be able to manipulate how we use our time. She believes that she should be able to control our lives because otherwise she would never have gotten upset about us saying no. She would have gone, "Oh yeah, it was an opportunity and no worries." If I come to you and I say, "Nat can you help me this week doing some work at home?" And you say, "No AJ, I don't want to." I'd go, "No worries." I wouldn't get angry with you. That's what she's done in return.

What she's done is the same as if she's come to Nat and said, "Would you be able to help me this week with something at home?" and Nat's gone, "No." And she goes, "You terrible bitchy person," and all this stuff comes out of her. What is that? That is a feeling that she should be able to control your life. She should be able to tell you what to do. She's not asking you for your help, she's telling you to help her otherwise...

Participant: "I'm going to get mean and nasty."

She's going to get really nasty instead. That's what she's telling you. Many of you do this, many of you do this. "You have to help me; if you don't help me I'm going to get nasty with you." That's not a request; what's that? That's not only a demand, it's an order. Many of you ladies, by the way, have done that with me, because you think that you can get away with it and you're not going to get away with it much anymore. (Laughter)

I'm saying to you that you think you can do it and you believe you should be able to do it. Many of you have that relationship with your husband's; you believe that you should be able to order him around, tell him what to do and in fact, if he doesn't, you lay down the law. That's it, no sex for you, no this, no that. (Laughter) You know what I mean? It's all cut off, and of course it gets them back into line many times. I don't get back into line. (Laughter) Sorry. Once you cut these bridges, you're going to have to re-establish them at some point in the future, not me. I'm not getting back into line for you.

What I'm illustrating from that is the lack of self-examination. Mary gave her opportunity after opportunity to reflect upon her own demand. No self-examination whatsoever, just total ignorance, total desire to ignore any truth. We can't grow like that; we're never going to grow like that. [01:05:11.26]

Participant: Is it all about our mummy and daddy emotions that we've sort of concreted down, but now we've got Jesus and Mary, we feel that you'll give us what we need and when you don't, there's just this apocalyptic rage.

Yeah.

Participant: Oh no, you know. Not again, you know?

I agree.

Participant: We're just projecting.

There are a lot of those projections at us of mummy and daddy-type emotions. However can I say, no matter how many mummy and daddy problems you have, there's no justification for your rage. We're trying to get across that there is no justification for this poor behaviour; self-analysis is required. If you're really angry with myself or Mary, you need to sit down and ask yourself some pretty good questions because all we've ever done is provide things to you with no demand in return. You've got some big issues to work your way through with your mum and father, obviously, if you're pretty angry with us. [01:06:15.11]

A lot of you want approval or acceptance from mummy and daddy; you want to know that you'll be loved, but they're not just what you want anymore, these are the underlying grieving things. On top of that is all this rage that you expect it now, you expect people to do this for you, you expect them to act in a certain way towards you and when they don't, it's like a big explosion. There's no self-reflection in this, none. There needs to be more if you're really going to grow to God, you know there needs to be more self-reflection in that.

9.5. An example of a participant treasuring his anger towards his father

Participant: AJ, can I ask a question about your treasure?

Sure. It's definitely on topic. (Laughs)

Participant: Let's say my partner and I decide, "Okay we're in addiction, we need to go to God, work through some blocks to God." The first thing I feel is that I can't connect to God, I've no connection to God. That's generally how I feel.

How do you feel about that?

Participant: It's what I do? I get angry about it so I start...

Why do you get angry?

Participant: Because I feel abandoned, I feel that I can't have a connection to God.

You feel abandoned?

Participant: I feel like He's playing peek-a-boo with me.

Yeah. This is something many of us do by the way, you feel abandoned by God. What's the truth?

Participant: Well God hasn't abandoned me.

That's the truth.

Participant: And then I go into anger and I realise it's about my dad. So I let him have it.

(Laughs) Yeah.

Participant: And then usually I drop into grief.

That's not the truth either.

Participant: Okay.

Your "letting your dad have it" is not the truth, is it?

Participant: What do you mean?

Well you feel abandoned, that's the feeling, yes?

Participant: Yeah, he wasn't there for me as a kid, yeah.

Ah okay, he wasn't there for you as a kid; do you know why?

Participant: Yeah, because he loved alcohol more than he loved his family and me.

Okay. That's your angry position.

Participant: Yeah.

And you're sticking with it.

Participant: Well no, but I have memories.

Because that's not the real reason why. Why does a man love alcohol?

Participant: He doesn't want to feel his pain?

He doesn't want to feel grief. What is the grief usually about?

Participant: Feeling unloved?

Feeling unloved. That is his real feeling, he feels unloved. He couldn't give you any because he feels unloved and he didn't want to feel that. That's his real reason, that's what I'm pointing out to you. I'm not saying don't do all the things you did, I'm saying the truth is, your dad has a huge amount of grief about feeling unloved, that's the reality. [01:09:08.24]

Participant: Yeah, no doubt.

No, see can you feel the anger with you?

Participant: But...

Can you feel the anger with you?

Participant: Yeah.

Recognise it, it's not bad. I understand why you feel it; I'm saying you've got to feel that anger with you. [01:09:25.05]

Participant: I do, constantly.

And you want to hold onto it.

Participant: Yeah.

9.5.1. Reasons for wanting to hold onto anger

Why do you want to hold onto it?

Participant: Sometimes I get into grief and sometimes it comes out.

Sometimes, but the fact is that you've still got the anger so you're still holding onto it. Why do you want to hold onto it?

Participant: I don't know, wanting to see that he created all of this?

What's your treasure here? You would rather hold onto anger because anger gives you something that going into the grief about being abandoned does not give you, and going into the feeling that your father was unloved doesn't give you. Your anger gives you something that you will not get another way; what does it give you? Many of you have the same issue.

Participant: Position of strength probably.

Well, what does it give you? It does a lot of things. You have an emotional investment in remaining angry; what is the emotional investment? What do you get to feel? You get to feel right, you get to feel powerful, what else? You get to feel? [01:10:36.28]

Participant: Blame.

Yeah, you get to blame someone else.

Why would you want to feel all of those things? Because they prevent you from feeling the grief of feeling abandoned. So I would be working on my treasure, this being to know myself. That's one of my treasures. I would go, okay, every time I want to be right, I want to be powerful I want to blame someone else, I want to do all of this kind of stuff, I am not engaging my treasure, I am engaging the blockage of my treasure, the blockage of my treasure. If my treasure is my feelings, my true feelings, which is 'being abandoned,' then these feelings block me from feeling my treasure. I need to feel their presence but I need to understand that if I am invested in them being there; I am not ever going to get to the deeper grief. Most of us have deep investments in rage. We want to stay angry because staying angry gives us a lot of things that if we got rid of the anger, we would not have the ability to go back to. [01:11:49.06]

Participant: But where do we start?

Well my feeling on this issue is, "Why do you want to stay so invested in your dad and being in a rage with your dad?" You've got to ask yourself why.

Participant: I just feel like that's where I always have to start; when I want to connect to God I feel like I can't connect to God and then it goes into my dad emotions, every time. And then usually when I spend a bit of time in anger, it gets into the grief of it.

Yeah but as we're talking, you've still got the anger. That tells me it's not relieving your anger so that means you're on the wrong track. You've got to be on the wrong track. What I'm saying to you, Alex, is that you have an investment in being angry; you want to remain angry with your dad. What does this give you? It gives you something; it gives you things that you are addicted to. They're the addictions that you need to address, what does it give you? What things does it provide for you? These are the things you are treasuring at the moment; you are treasuring what your rage is giving you.

Once you give that up, you'll find you'll be able to get into the feelings of abandonment, you'll have a much more childlike feeling of rage inside of you with your dad. In fact, most the time a child doesn't feel much rage towards their parents; generally they just feel huge amounts of grief and fear. Rage also gives you an inability to go towards your fear, what you're afraid of, like this feeling, "I'll never be loved. If my father couldn't love me, then God will never be able to love me." There are all these kinds of feelings and beliefs that can be exposed.

While you want to be angry with dad, you need to face that you want this. You need to be honest. "I want to be. I want to keep this anger in me for the rest of my life until he changes, until he apologises to me, until he tells me that he did the wrong thing. Even then I'm going to make him have a good bawl about it first and do some correction before I'm going to forgive him. I want that to happen." Until we recognise these emotions inside of us, we won't find the addiction, which is the addiction to remaining in a rage. Many of us have strong addictions to remaining in a rage. [01:14:27.16]

Participant: Yeah, well the reason I'm asking is that I've gone through that process a number of times and I still don't feel any closer to God. So I'm thinking there's got to be something wrong here.

Of course, that's what I'm saying; you cannot go through a process of untruth with God. You have to face the truth that you want to be in a rage with your father, you want to be, that's the truth. That's the truth you need to start with, with God.

Participant: I've felt like I've had to be to get into the grief.

You want to be.

Participant: Alright.

There's a big difference between 'have to' and 'want to.' You want to be in a rage with your father. How many of you honestly feel like you would love to be able to stay angry with people that have hurt you? We need to be honest - most of us feel that way. We'd love to stay angry with them. To be at-one with God, you'll get to the point where you're not going to stay angry with them, but how many of us want to give that up? "Not me, I'm not giving it up. God's going to come around to my way of thinking." (Laughter) "What? Did you say the potter and the clay? No, I'm the potter. I want God to be the clay; I want God to come around to my thinking."

God can't come around to our thinking. This is where many of us are not being honest about the feeling, the true feeling within us. We select a group of feelings because we're told that we need to feel. We select a group of feelings that we prefer and we avoid a group of feelings that we hate, that we prefer to not have to feel. We avoid them, and we go into the feeling, go into the feeling, go into the feeling, go into the feeling and we repeat ourselves for a year and after a year we go, "We're not changing." No, you're not changing because you're on the wrong feeling. [01:16:33.18]

The Law of Attraction's telling you that if you're not changing. If you've not changed once you've got into some of this emotion, if something hasn't changed inside of you, then it's not the right emotion. It's a different emotion. Most of us have a huge feeling that we want to remain in a rage with the people who have harmed us. By the way, we even want to maintain a rage with the people we imagine harmed us, not just the people who have actually harmed us.

9.5.2. Taking responsibility for our emotions

Participant: I totally recognise that rage you're talking about and it's a very punishing... I feel like I want to punish the people that have hurt me. Yesterday I had an experience where I felt for the first time, I just didn't want to punish my mum anymore, I accept that she's hurt me, I accept that she didn't know any different, it doesn't excuse what she's done but the pain is mine.

Yes, and only you can feel the pain.

Participant: Yes, and no amount of suffering that I cause her is going to ease that pain in me.

That's right, yeah. You can return as much suffering as you can imagine and many people, by the way, do this in their life. They return as much suffering to the people who cause them to suffer as you can imagine. Many of them do even more than that. [01:18:05.18]

Participant: So through that self-examination process, you go from a place of making someone else, all women in this case, responsible for your pain, to actually just accepting, "Well no, it's just my pain and I need to deal with it."

Yes. Every time we are placing the burden of our emotion on somebody else, whether it's a neediness, rage, anger, blame, whatever it is, we are avoiding the fact that they can't feel our emotion. No matter what pain somebody has caused you, it's highly unlikely that they will ever be able to feel it because they can't feel you. They can't feel your emotion. Even when they become a Celestial spirit they're not going to know what it feels like to be you in your current state after they've worked through all of their emotions about what they've caused you. Of course they have to go through repentance and all of those kinds of things. During that process they'll eventually be able to imagine what it might have caused in you and as they go through that process they'll have a contrite heart about that but you can't expect any of that, you can't expect any of that at all.

Many of you expect this even now; you want everybody who has ever harmed you to come to recognition of their harm of you, you want to go through the entire process with them, you want them to do that before you're willing to go through the connection of what they've done. What I find is much easier is to actually go to the feelings of what they've done.

Now there might be some rage in that but mostly there'll be fear and grief in that as well. It'll be very fast through your rage in that state. You won't go over it and over it and over it for months and years and years. It'll be like bang, bang, bang, thirty seconds; you're into the next step. You might have that happening a fair few times if you've got extreme amounts of damage that's been done to you; you might need to do that for a week or two weeks or three weeks at the most, generally, where you go bang, bang, bang into the rage.

Now it just depends on how much you do it in a day as to whether you get there in the end. Most of us don't go there because we can't even admit to ourselves that we really want to kill our mothers, for example. Or better, do all the things they did to you back to them and a bit more, so that they can feel it. That's what many of us have in us, that kind of emotion. We need to recognise that that is an addiction to avoiding a lot of our personal feelings. [01:20:42.06]

Participant: It's a nice feeling to not want to punish someone too.

Yeah, once you get to that state, it's also a very soft feeling towards yourself. You start having a lot of compassion for yourself, you can actually grieve a lot of things in that state because you can feel inside yourself, what my father and mother did was terribly wrong, they had no right doing it but you also have a very strong feeling inside of yourself of love for yourself that you had to endure that terrible behaviour. And once you allow yourself to feel that, then you connect to your own feelings of grief and so forth. All Mary had to say to me the other day for me to go into an emotion was, "How you get treated is brutal." And I was in my emotion, just one statement, because if you're soft to it all, you don't have to go through all the rage and all those kinds of things in this adult rage. There is childhood rage that you're going to have to experience but it won't be like the adult rage.

9.6. Seminar donations

Okay, can we proceed? Because there's more. It sounds like a television ad now doesn't it? You know those ads that come on at midnight or whatever it is and go, "But wait, there is more." (Laughs)

We have to be very careful of dishonesty with ourselves. This is the worst possible thing for your development.

Okay here's another one; this one is for most of you to contemplate. We've mentioned this yesterday but I'll put down some figures. The average person would pay around $10 when they go and get a cuppa, I don't know but do you still like a soy chai latte or whatever it is? - a hot drink, or you might get a cool drink.

You pay about $10 if you get a snack and a drink together, or something like that. How long does it take you to polish it off? Usually fifteen minutes max? Fifteen minutes and you've got a cold cuppa, as it'll be in fifteen minutes. If we did it as an hourly rate, we're basically saying that a cuppa is worth $40 an hour to us. That's pretty pricey. Most of you probably hadn't analysed it that way; that means it's worth quite a lot. How many of you earn $40 an hour? Hardly any of us here. That means that most of us are willing to pay more for a cuppa than we are willing to pay for our time. That's an interesting statement about an addiction and a sense of worth. [01:23:47.11]

Okay, we value a cuppa at around $40 per hour, yes? And this is without expenses. The average person donates around $10 for four hours of Divine Truth, so what's that per hour? That's $2.50 per hour. Okay, so most of us value a visit to the coffee shop sixteen times higher than what we value hearing Divine Truth.

Isn't that interesting? Why? Can you tell me why? Where is our heart? Where is our treasure? Want to have a stab, even?

Participant: My first observation is that they often do it more than once a week anyway and the second is because it's an addiction.

Okay, the cuppa is often happening more than once a week and the reason is that it makes us feel certain things that Divine Truth can't make us feel. It's the same thing. Can you see our willingness to even pay more than what we think we're worth for something that is perishable? - As I said in one of the quotes in Luke. Perishable - here today, gone tomorrow, here today, gone in fifteen minutes. In your case you might get a few more minutes of satisfaction out of it and bang, she's gone out the other end. (Laughter) Nothing now can come from it and we're willing to pay sixteen times more for that than we are for Divine Truth. Why is that? Because there are obviously heavy addictions involved in getting the cuppa.

9.6.1. Addictions met from having a cup of tea or coffee

This tells me that there are a lot of feelings that I'm getting from my cuppa. What do you get from your cuppa? What draws you to go to the coffee shop? I'm not saying don't do it, I'm saying what do you get from it?

Participant: The social aspect where you're connecting with another human being.

Big thing, isn't it? Social connection, a feeling that I belong somewhere, that I'm sharing my life with somebody. We're doing something together, it makes us feel together, it makes us feel like we're wanted, it makes us feel like we're needed, it makes us feel like everything's fun together. [01:26:39.13]

Participant: Relaxation.

Relaxation. Okay, we have such a stressful life that we badly need that fifteen minutes of relaxation. We can't do without that. (Laughter)

Participant: It's been my experience in the business that if you give something to somebody for free, they always seem to value it or question it, to them it's questionable.

Yes.

Participant: I think that if you give your time and all your effort for free, I can't help presuming that a lot of other people just find that questionable, whereas if they go and buy a cup of coffee they feel they've paid for it so they deserve to enjoy it.

So there is a suspicion with Divine Truth that doesn't exist when you go and get a cup of coffee?

Participant: It's because they've paid for it.

They've paid for it so there's no suspicion for it anymore.

Participant: Yes.

It's not like, what's he going to want later? You don't go to your coffee house and go, "I'm paying $40, what are they going to want from me next?" Because you've paid for it and you don't have a feeling of suspicion about it. But with Divine Truth, people give it for free and you go, "What do they really want?" So Divine Truth has a heap of negative connotation to it, doesn't it then? A heap of suspicion, whereas a cuppa has no suspicion. "I know that I pay my money, I get my result, there's no strings attached. And that's what I want," so there's a fear of strings being attached to this other, yes? [01:28:13.14]

Participant: I get to disconnect from how I feel and have a more energetic feeling and feel happy.

Okay, need to get a bit pumped up, don't you? Gives you that feeling but also there's some good feelings that come from it because you have a feeling for fifteen minutes that you're looking after yourself, that you're caring about yourself.

The trouble when you come along to Divine Truth and you hear all this stuff, there's another self-examination, another self-examination and after a while you start to feel you're self-attacking. And then you feel you're not caring about yourself anymore. With a cuppa you get to feel like you're being cared for and that's a good feeling, I think it's very good to be cared for but you can see we obviously have an addiction to that, we're willing to pay more than we are worth for that.

Participant: Yeah, you might need to treat yourself because you had a bad week?

Yeah, sometimes you have a heavy week and it's getting heavier and heavier and you get to a point where you go, "Ah stuff everything, I'm just going to go out and spend some money on myself and make myself feel good again." That is an avoidance of quite a lot of pretty negative emotions that you'd probably be better off crying about and then you'd probably feel pretty good anyway.

I'm illustrating (because there are more I'd like to cover with you) that there is this whole group of emotions that get satisfied. You get to feel this whole group of emotions from the payment of that $40 per hour. They are not the same emotions you get to feel when you pay this $2.50 per hour for Divine Truth, and therefore there is far less willingness to give the gift towards Divine Truth than there would be towards your cuppa. That tells us what we treasure. What are we treasuring? Our addictions. [01:30:15.09]

We treasure our addictions. We've got to be honest with ourselves, we treasure and nurse them. We treat them like little babies. We rock them in our arms, our addictions. Now many of us think, "Ah, I want to get rid of that addiction." No, no it's not like that at all - what we want to do is rock the addiction in our arms and go, "There, there. There, there," and that's what we want other people to do to us too. Rock in their arms: "There, there."

That's the way we are with a lot of our feelings and whoever will do that for us, we give them the most things, we give them more of our time, we give them more of our resources, we give them more of our funds, we give them more of ourselves many times because they're giving us that feeling. How many of you have paid $5000 for a weekend course? Any of you done that? How about $2000 for a weekend course? If we just keep your hands up, yeah. I've done both of those things. How many of you have paid $1000 for a weekend course? $500 for a weekend course? Why did we do that? Because the addiction involved in what we got from it, we felt was worth that.

Divine Truth is free; that's how much you have to pay. Free. It's going to change your life forever and yet we're willing to spend $5000 or $2000 or $1000 on a weekend course and $2.50 per hour, $10 for a Divine Truth course. I'm not suggesting you have to pay any more, I'm just saying, compare it for the sake of looking at your treasure - what do you treasure? You see, it's demonstrating your treasure. [01:32:14.26]

9.6.2. Resistance to truth

Participant: I can appreciate what you're saying but AJ there have been times where Divine Truth does not reveal treasures about myself.

(Laughs)

Participant: And so if coffee were to reveal the same thing, I'm pretty sure I would start to devalue it pretty quick but there are also times when that does reveal really beautiful things that I didn't know about myself.

Well isn't that part of the problem? With Divine Truth, we're often getting to hear things that we believe are so negative that we'd just rather not hear it, so who wants to come up and talk to AJ? What a terrible thing to do. We get people very regularly knocking on our door shaking with terror. They knock on our door and they go, "Can we open the door?" and they're shaking. We say, "Why are you shaking?" "I'm terrified to be here." "Well go somewhere else then." (Laughter) They're just shaking.

We are often so terrified to receive truth, but my feelings when I've received truth are, "Thank you for telling me something that's true, it could have taken me years to find that out." Why would I not want it? If you feel about the personal interactions you've had with me, many times you have a deep amount of fear about what I'm going to say, "What's he going to say to me now? What's he going to do now?" Did you have that earlier when I mentioned about the examples here? "Is he going to use my example?" (Laughs) Isn't that how it is? We are so worried about hearing the truth about ourselves because we're used to being very much judged about it. I don't feel any sense of judgement for any of these things. I do feel a strong sense that I need to state the truth of them because if I state the truth, there is the ability for the person to change. But I don't feel any judgement towards the person.

I understand in many cases I'm feeling their feelings far better than they do, why they feel the way they do or why they're acting the way they do, but exposure of the truth is an important thing. If I am resistive to personal truth, how am I ever going to change? If you're afraid to hear about yourself honestly and truthfully from anyone then you might as well just say, "Alright, I'm giving up any growth." Because the reality is, you'll never grow unless you hear the truth from someone, usually. Or you could hear the truth from yourself; that's sometimes a bit more pleasant an opportunity. But can you see how many of us are so afraid of doing that because we're afraid of what we'll see? That we don't even want to see the truth from ourselves? [01:35:10.20]

Now can I suggest to you that hearing the truth from God is the easiest thing to do, not the hardest. Hearing the truth from yourself is the next easiest thing to do, and hearing the truth from other people is a lot harder, generally. Yet the majority of us never listen to the truth from God, and so God's got to send us another person. We never listen to the truth that can easily come to ourselves through some self-examination and so God's got to send us another person. So we finish up causing a situation where we are putting ourselves in a position that is the most difficult for us to absorb the truth. We could be choosing to look at ourselves more honestly and truthfully individually rather than having to go all through that process.

Participant: When looking at personal truth you sometimes discover things about yourself that shock you and rock your very core.

I agree, but I don't ever see the reason to be afraid of them because it is always going to end up with me in a better state, with a better character.

9.6.3. Examining what we get out of our addictions

Participant: Of course, but why is it then that I find some of those yucky things about myself are easy to accept but then when I am asking for God's Truth, I'm struggling to accept how God sees it because that is the truth, the Divine Truth you're talking about. I would rather hold on to the negative aspect.

Look at the addiction to holding onto the negative aspect. A lot of that comes from the addiction to please mummy and daddy, to take on their opinions rather than taking on God's opinion. What do you get out of that? You get mummy and daddy's approval, you get their acceptance and you get them not projecting rage at you. You get a lot of things out of that. That's the addiction, that's your pay-off.

Participant: Okay.

Many of you have probably done some psychological work at some point or read some books about psychology, and you understand there is such as thing as a pay-off. You get pay-offs for all sorts of things. My suggestion is to look at your pay-offs. Why do you want to only accept the bad things about yourself for example? There's a pay off. Why do you only want to accept good things about yourself? There's a pay-off. There's a pay-off in either direction.

9.7. Addictions or complete denial

Let's look at the next situation shall we? I've repeatedly said that any feelings you have of frustration, annoyance, anger, rage, resentment indicate an addiction that is present inside the person that still needs to be satisfied. You've probably heard that from me in fifty different discussions in maybe one hundred different ways. Now many still get angry with Mary and me whenever you hear a grain of truth from us. Whenever we even hear a grain of truth from anyone, we get angry with them. This is an indication that many of us still treasure our addictions more than we treasure the truth.

9.7.1. An example of a phone conversation between Mary and a man

I'll give you an example: here's a phone call with Mary that happened last week. A man called and said, "I'm facing my fears, asking you to channel for me." Mary said, "I don't feel like doing any channelling for you because there's so much demand and expectation coming out of you towards AJ and me all the time, I just don't feel I can comfortably channel for you." The man goes, "Okay," and then Mary says, "Now you're angry with me as well."

He says, "Well I don't feel that I'm angry with you, I'm shaking like a leaf and I'm afraid." And Mary says, "Well I don't feel like you're afraid at all, I feel that you're angry." And he said, "Well I'm afraid and I'm facing my fears calling you." And Mary said, "Well, we'll have to disagree on the emotion that you feel; I don't agree with that at all. We're allowed to disagree and I'm going to go now."

He came along to the seminar yesterday and when Mary began speaking and was talking for a while, he projected rage at her for the first fifteen minutes. I felt it coming through the back of me when I was sitting down listening to Mary. For that reason, I said to Mary that we need to remove him from our audience and we asked him to leave. Now what's the problem? What's the treasure? [01:40:29.07]

Participant: The justification of anger. That anger's okay.

There's a justification of anger, yes. What else?

Participant: The feeling that we can always get what we ask for, that we deserve? An expectation that others do for us?

Sorry, enlighten me again?

Participant: The treasure is that I always get what I ask for?

Ah yes. The demand that I should get what I've asked for. It doesn't matter what the other person's doing in their life or what they feel, I should still get it.

Participant: Yes, and in that I'm more important than them.

Yes. You actually believe that you're more important than them. That is very much what this man feels; that he's far more important in this case than Mary.

Participant: The feeling, "I know what my emotions are?"

Yes, the feeling, "I know what my emotions are, how dare you say to me?"

Participant: "And you're wrong."

I have a different emotion than what I'm saying. Yeah, good.

Participant: I can relate to this one, his feeling that anger's not acceptable so I'm telling you it's fear. (Laughs)

Yes. He's feeling that he knows from his own past and development that anger is not a good thing to project to somebody so he denies that he has any anger at all when he's full of rage, and this man has very regularly been in a rage with either myself or Mary or both of us, yeah. There's a huge desire to deny the truth of one's emotions. Why would we desire that? Because we treasure our current viewpoint of ourselves over anything else.

Now I suggest to you that a person who treasures their own viewpoint of themselves over somebody else's or over what somebody else is saying has no opportunity to grow, they are not open to growing even. We've actually told this man that he's not open to personal growth at all; he doesn't believe it. [02:43:02.28]

He spends hours listening to videos and presentations, he spends hours listening while he's working, but there's no pure desire inside of the man to grow. Why does he do all of those things? What's the emotional investment? What's the treasure? He gets to feel that he's doing something when he's doing nothing; how many of us want to do that? Where you get to feel like, "I am doing something, at least I'm good at that, at least I'm good at this, or whatever." These are often emotions that we're avoiding.

Sometimes we feel so hopeless about ourselves that all we need to really do is feel that for a day or a few days and we'd be over that feeling, but we don't, we don't want to do that. Instead we want to do this other thing where we want to close down completely to the fact that we have any negative emotion inside of us, while wondering at the same time why our life isn't changing, why we're not happier, while we're still having huge arguments with everyone around us and while we're still not connecting with God. It's like the evidence is banging us in the face sometimes and we're going, "No, no it's not me, it's not me, it's not me. It's got to be someone else, it's got to be something else," and for many of us, we actually believe that God's got it wrong. We actually feel, "You should love me, I don't want to love you on your terms." That's the feeling that we have towards God. We feel that God should love and care for us under all conditions and God actually does but we're not going to feel that love while we have these kind of emotions, we just can't feel them.

10. Indications in our personal life that we treasure Divine Truth

I think perhaps I've given enough examples. The question I'd like to ask you is, "What would indicate that you actually treasure Divine Truth in your own life? What would you expect to see if you were looking at your life from an external perspective, looking in?"

Instead of you being in your body looking out, now you're like somebody else watching you. Imagine for a moment that somebody's videoed your entire day and everything you've done in that entire day, right the way from having a shower in the morning, what you've done during in your shower, when you made love to your girl or guy, what you've done there. They videoed everything and then they played it all back to you. What would you expect to see from that video if you as a person were engaging the principles of Divine Truth in your life and actually viewed it as a treasure? What do you believe you would expect to see?

Participant: Well, first of all we'll see relationships with people improving, with your partner to start with.

If I can be more specific Igor, let's say during the day somebody came up and confronted you, what would you expect to see on the video?

Participant: Your not acting back in rage.

Okay, so there's no longer any rage in return to truth.

Participant: Yeah. You can see for yourself if it's truth or not.

Yeah. You'd be humble wouldn't you? You would notice your own humility. That would be wonderful, you'd watch yourself and go, "There I am being humble again, wow isn't that so good?" Sometimes I say to Mary, "There I was being humble again, wow, that was so good, that felt good." And you notice these things. You would notice these things about yourself if you were truly reflective. [01:47:01.11]

Participant: You would see yourself preparing meals that were loving to yourself and perhaps caring for your environment.

Okay, in the care of your environment you'd notice, "Wow, I did another thing that cared for me there and another thing that cared for me there and another thing that cared for my partner there and it felt really good." I didn't feel resistive, like, "Oh, I have to do this for my partner." You would see all of those things and the facial expressions, the love that you felt. You know how when you photograph faces, you can usually see the feeling a person has at the time? Well you'd see all the way through the day these lovely feelings coming out of you; anybody watching would go, "Wow, this person's a lovely person to be with." That's what you'd see.

Participant: I'd see myself being responsible for myself.

Okay you'd go, "Yeah there I was again, I took responsibility for that emotion, I felt that, isn't that great? And there I was again, look at me there, I actually paid for my own meal instead of expecting somebody else to do that for a change," and you'd notice about yourself wouldn't you, through the process? Yeah.

Participant: You would become like a little child, laughing.

Yes, you would actually see the passion and aliveness in yourself. Instead of walking around like a zombie, "Ah, what did you say? And desire, what's desire? Can you make my desire happen for me?" You'd never see any of that would you? You'd be looking, "There I was again, that's something that I love. And there's another thing I loved," and you can see that I loved that. You'd be able to see the expression of joy in your own face at those things that you actually desire and love, yeah?

Participant: I think you'd be very sensitive to any kindness or good deeds or anything that came your way and you'd feel genuine gratitude and appreciation.

Yeah.

Participant: And I think, if you really love Divine Truth, you'd be on fire and you'd want to share it with everybody, any chance you got, if there was even the faintest chance that they could be even remotely interested, you'd just go for it.

There's an interesting verse in the Bible that says that, the fire in my belly was so strong, I couldn't stop from speaking. How many times have you felt that? That feeling that you just can't shut up. You'd see that present in yourself as the videos being taken. There's another example where that feeling of the fire of the truth that's inside of you just burned brightly, that it was a sign of the condition. [01:50:17.15]

Participant: You'd see a commitment of time and energy to have time for prayer, time for talking with God, time for feeling stuff.

Yes, you would look through the time slots and you'd go, "Yes, see there it is again. I'm demonstrating that the thing that's most important to me is my relationship with God and there I'm demonstrating the other thing that's most important to me is my relationship with my soul and the other half of my soul. And there we are again, see there I made a choice where I put my soul before I put other things, there I made another choice where I put my relationship with God before I put other things. There I made a choice of integrity of character where I had integrity and strength of nature and character inside of myself," you'd see all of these things.

How would you feel after you'd seen that video? You'd be walking around going, "Gee, I'm getting so good now." It wouldn't be like a feeling of pride so much but just a humble state of recognition that you're progressing. Wouldn't you feel joy in that state? You'd feel a lot of joy, compassion for yourself, you'd feel a lot of pride in a sense of the fact that you're engaging the principles of truth that you want to engage and your life is reflecting it. It would be so wonderful; it would give you a lot of positive feedback in terms of what is occurring. [01:51:46.13]

Participant: I also feel then that I wouldn't be so self focused, that I'd be wanting to be more loving towards others and want to show and demonstrate love to others.

Yeah, you would be seeing, "Ah there I am again, showing that person how I really feel about them and how much I care for them and they didn't even realise. They thought that I was upset or something but I wasn't. I was showing that I cared about them and cared about their life and cared about their livelihood and so forth."

Participant: I feel I'd be more experimental with life instead of the way that I feel most of the time, cocooned in a comfort zone. I feel like I would be embracing and taking risks and engaging life.

Taking chances.

Participant: Yes.

When you live your life without fear, it's like some opportunity comes up and you don't go all suspicious for a start. You don't go, "Oh I don't know about that, it doesn't feel right, no I don't think we can go with that." You also don't do things like convincing yourself out of doing what you love, you don't do that either. "Yes I probably would like to do that but when I look at it, it might cost me some money and I might lose some money here and I might lose that friend if I do that. That other person really wants me to do something else, even though I don't really want to do that." You wouldn't do any of those things in the course of this day, you would be actually working your way though those issues rather than just pandering to the addiction. [01:53:32.03]

Participant: You'd see yourself growing within your desires. They would be shining from you as you walk.

10.1. Letting our light shine

Yeah, let me read you another Bible verse from Luke 8, 15. It says,

"But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it and by persevering, produce a crop."

Here's another one, from Luke 8: 16-18:

"No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed."

Back in our day we used to light lamps. Nowadays you just turn on a light. But you wouldn't hide it under a bed whatever it is, because you wouldn't have any light then.

"Instead they put it on a stand so those who come in can see the light. For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed and nothing concealed that will not be known or bought out to the open. Therefore consider carefully how you listen."

Good statement, hey? Gee, I said some good things back then. (Laughter) I would often illustrate back then a feeling that we can only let our light shine to other people if we have a light., and the only way we're going to have a light is to recognise what's dark within us and remove it. Nobody else can remove it for us, that's the problem. We have to remove it from ourselves by feeling it. These are the steps we need to take.

If my treasure is to get closer to God, I will take the steps to remove from myself what causes my own darkness and then I'll automatically be alight. If I'm automatically alight, now I'm putting my light on a lamp stand, I'm putting my light out for everyone to see, everyone will be able to see it automatically. They'll notice it. They'll go, "Gee, you've changed a lot. You used to be a depressed, morose individual and now look at you; you're so joyful and happy, what happened?" And you'll say, "You know what happened to me? I learned the truth about the soul, I learned the truth about God, it's just amazing what's happened to me. It's taken me two, three or five years, or whatever it has been, to work my way through a lot of the issues but man, I feel like a different person, I feel like a different being, I feel totally aware of what's going on around me now, I feel totally connected with what's happening, Before I wanted to just die half the time, now I feel like I want to live, my desires are engaged."

And they'll go, "Well how did you do that?" And then of course - you're letting light shine - you'll say, "Oh well I met this Jesus dude, and he just said..." whatever, however it is. Or that you met one of you guys who taught the truth to them," you'd say, "And I read this and I read that and I saw this and I saw that and this is what I did. Why don't you give it a go? Why don't you try?" This is what I feel will happen once our light shines.

11. Closing words

There are the parts of the seminar outline that I could mention but I'm going to skip over them. The outline will be present on the internet for you so that you can read some of it. I've also asked the question in the outline, "What would indicate that you treasure Mary's and my time or effort that we spend with you?" There's a whole series of things there that we could go through but I will leave that for your own contemplation.

One thing I'd like to say though, any sincere feeling that you have inside of you needs to be nursed and treasured and grown and any insincere feeling that you have inside of you needs to be removed if you are ever going to become purely happy and also in a very close relationship with God and yourself and your mate.

My suggestion to you is to just stop what you're doing for a day or two and allow yourself a few days of reflection. Ask yourself the questions that I've put to you at the start of this discussion, the questions like, "How do I believe myself to be, in terms of "What are my treasures compared to how am I actually with my treasures? What are the things that I spend the most time on?" Give yourself sometime of reflection, allow yourself to contemplate. If you do this, you will become aware. If you become aware of where your treasure is, you'll start to contemplate putting your heart there, in a new place of treasure. Instead of keeping your treasures as they've always been, you will adjust your treasures and start looking at other places where you can put your heart. [01:59:30.04]

My suggestion is that if you put your heart first with God, all these other things that you are seeking will be added to you. Now I know that many of you have not experienced that and the reason is that you've yet to do it. I'd like to encourage you to give it a go, put your heart first in these things, the things that are the important things, not only your heart because if you put your heart there first, the rest of you will go along for the ride and you'll spend your time doing it. You won't avoid spending your time doing it or do other things that are less important. I believe that if we made this our focus, as a group of people, we have the potential to create great things, things that currently most of us can't even imagine as our potential. But it's only going to happen if our treasure changes and that's why I want to ask you the question that I've been asking you all day and that is, "What is your treasure?" And that's the end of my chat with you today. (Applause)

Now we had also prepared a lovely discussion about desire, which is, you could say, the next step to engaging your treasures. What I would suggest is that we have given a talk about desire before called "God's Laws - The Law Of Desire." My suggestion is that many of you review that material about desire.

The reason we wanted to discuss desire is that we believe that many of you are not yet engaging your true desires or even know what they are. If you don't know what your desires are, you don't know where your heart is, your heart becomes like, as one verse in the Bible says, tossed about on the waves of the sea. You go from one thing to another thing with no definite purpose.

So we'd like to encourage you also to contemplate putting at least one or two desires into action in the coming months. Things that you've been scared about doing, frightened of doing, that you just need to go ahead and do and see what happens. Let God refine you like the potter refining the clay and turning it into something.

There are a lot of things we'd like to talk about on that subject because I feel it's such an important subject to understand about the rest of your life. It's important to know that without desire you're not actually going to accomplish much. You're going to have a very mediocre life and I'd hate to see any of you have a mediocre life. You want to have a passionate, desirous, joyful life full of creation.

We would love to thank you for your time again and the energy you spend engaging with us in these discussions. Thanks, guys. (Applause)

Appendix: The Human Soul – What Is Your Treasure S1 Seminar Outline

### Introduction

Bible Book Of Luke

It contains many sayings of mine in the 1st century, albeit modified

Because it was written by Luke, my own son-in-law, who married my daughter Sarah

He wrote it with my lovely soul-mate Mary, and she recounted many of my teachings to him

Today's discussion contains many of my comments recorded in the Bible book of Luke

### What is important to you?

Does the time you allocate to such things indicate these things are actually important?

Do the resources to allocate to such things indicate these things are important?

What is the only subject I have ever spoken about where I have been uncertain?

The subject of earth changes; I have constantly prefaced with "I do not know for certain"

What is the only subject that most people who listen to me act upon; earth changes

This is an indication that most treasure and honour their fear more than anything else

It indicates that honouring fear is the most important thing to many

Luke 12:16-21

16 And he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. 17 He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' 18 "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. 19 And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry."' 20 "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' 21 "This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God."

What do we learn from this parable?

How does it apply to our personal life?

How does it apply to the subject "What is your treasure?"

Luke 12:31-34

31 Nevertheless, seek continually his kingdom, and these things will be added to YOU. 32 "Have no fear, little flock, because YOUR Father has approved of giving YOU the kingdom. 33 Sell the things belonging to YOU and give gifts of mercy. Make purses for yourselves that do not wear out, a never‐failing treasure in the heavens, where a thief does not get near nor moth consumes. 34 For where YOUR treasure is, there YOUR hearts will be also.

Everything we do based upon love is being rewarded in the heavens as we do it

Everything we do that enhances our character demonstrates where our treasure really is

Where is the life you treasure? For most, it is here on earth.

Luke 14:16-24

16 Jesus replied: "A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. 17 At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, 'Come, for everything is now ready.' 18 "But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, 'I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.' 19 "Another said, 'I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I'm on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.' 20 "Still another said, 'I just got married, so I can't come.' 21 "The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, 'Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.' 22 "'Sir,' the servant said, 'what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.' 23 "Then the master told his servant, 'Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full. 24 I tell you, not one of those who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.'"

What do we learn from this parable?

How does it apply to our personal life?

How does it apply to the subject "What is your treasure?"

How do you know what is important to you, what is really in your heart?

### What has the most value in your life is proven by action

How you allocate resources (time, energy, money) determines what is valued

Value is placed upon the things you spend your time doing

Value is placed upon the things you spend your resources (energy, money, time) on

What do these things indicate are your treasures?

Value is not about:

Not words - Words are often empty, hollow, just said to prevent the truth being known

Not fanfare or show - Show is about creating impression, fanfare, an inaccurate impression

Not façade or image - Façade is a costume for the undeveloped soul

Not fake feelings - These may fool others, but they do not fool God

Not fake "holiness" - Being "good" without having "goodness" in the heart

Not self-righteousness - Feeling better than others just demonstrates arrogance, not love

How you truly act and feel demonstrates what you value most

Truth, Love and Humility are not what is valued. Most instead value:

Approval, acceptance, glory, attention from general society

Approval and acceptance of family and friends

Creation and maintenance of a life meeting addictions

Creation and maintenance of a false concept of oneself

Where do actions come from?

### Actions come from true sincere feelings

Luke 12:34

34 For where YOUR treasure is, there YOUR hearts will be also.

Luke 6:43-45

43 "No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. 44 Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. 45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

How are sincere feelings created?

### Self-examination is required to see the Truth

Must learn to treasure ones true character and nature

Examine the reasons for the choices and decisions they make in their daily life

Examine the reality about how your own soul feels

Must learn to treasure relationship with God FIRST

Examine the reasons for a lack of relationship

Examine whether you have a true desire to know, feel and be with God

Examine whether you really believe all these other things will be added to you

Matthew 13:13-16

13 This is why I speak to them by the use of illustrations, because, looking, they look in vain, and hearing, they hear in vain, neither do they get the sense of it; 14 and toward them the prophecy of Isaiah is having fulfillment, which says, 'By hearing, YOU will hear but by no means get the sense of it; and, looking, YOU will look but by no means see. 15 For the heart of this people has grown unreceptive, and with their ears they have heard without response, and they have shut their eyes; that they might never see with their eyes and hear with their ears and get the sense of it with their hearts and turn back, and I heal them.'

Isaiah 29:15,16

15 Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the LORD, who do their work in darkness and think, "Who sees us? Who will know?" 16 You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, "You did not make me"? Can the pot say to the potter, "You know nothing"?

Lack of self-examination evident in many of you through how you act in your lives

Many of you are still trying to cover over the badness and error that exists within you

Many of you think that God does not see; or perhaps that God does not care

Many of you are going to be very surprised when you die; when you see what you attract then

Only development of your character in Love will help you

This development can only really occur through your relationship with God

Treasure this relationship above all things; it will bring you everlasting happiness & fulfillment

### Examples of a lack of self-examination

My hairdresser

Stated that she felt that she had low self-worth

I disagreed; said that she felt she was more valuable than the value she places on me, and often feels she is more valuable than other people

Of course she stated she did not really believe that, and asked how

The 1st way:

I always give her a gift for her time, anywhere from $38 to $50 per half hour

In addition, I answer her personal questions while receiving the haircut

She normally asks $40 per hour for her time per person

I value her time at more than 2.5 times the value she places on herself

The 2nd way:

When she gives me a gift for my time, she gives me around $30 for 4 hours of my time

She does not always give me a gift for my time; in fact, it is generally only at seminars

Over the same period (4 hours) she would normally ask $160 for her time

She therefore values my time at less than 1/5th of the value she places on her own time

Her treasure is in financial security, and a sense of self-worth money gives her

This is more important to her than expressing gratitude to a person she learns from

A haircut is more important to her ($38) than 4 hours of instruction about Divine Truth

Her treasure is in her haircuts; or more accurately, in the emotions she receives

Disk copying

Often given disks to copy, but with data on them, not following instructions

We are providing a free service, and you make us work harder to provide the service

I am now doing the hard disk drive copying service. You left us with a hard disk drive to copy, but have not followed the instructions on the net about it. E.g. You gave us a drive with total space of 500GB, and with over 130GB of space used, which means that there is only 370GB free. This means that we must: 1. Delete everything on the drive or; 2. Selectively copy data to the drive

This of course will take a very long time, and I cannot do it for you. In addition, I do not know if the data on the drive is important to you or not, so I do not want to delete it. You need to think about the lack of consideration (and therefore lack of love) in the manner in which you gave the drive.

This necessitates my using time to: 1. Analyze the drive, 2. Ask you what to do about the drive, 3. Communicate with you about the problems with the drive, 4. Wait for your response, 5. Inquire about how the drive is to be returned to you, 6. Use my time writing this email to you

If you had provided written instructions, then I would have not had to ask these questions, nor waste the use of my time. If you wish to receive the Disk Update, then please make sure that you follow the instructions about it on the net. Also, you have not left instructions as to how you are going to get the drive back. You are placing a lot of work onto people who are giving you a service for free. Even if you consider your donation of $20 as a fee-for-service, I have already used up that amount of time just looking at the drive, and writing this email to you.

Some things for you to consider. Cheers mate

Demands Upon Mary and My Personal Time

One lady we gave her over $200 of DVD's for her personal use

We answered many of her demanding emails over a period of one year

She donated a total of $80 for those DVD's

Then she wanted us to answer her questions in writing

When we stated that we felt it was a waste of our time, she became angry and demanding

She ignored our statements, continuing to demand our time in the manner she wanted it

We stated very clearly that she was demanding, and ungrateful

She then became angry, and wanted nothing more to do with us

We posted all of our interactions on the internet because she threatened to share her "experience" with others on forums

She then legally forced us to remove all of the interactions of Truth

All this because she did not wish to see herself, and her own unloving demanding actions

Her treasure was in maintaining an opinion of herself, and wanting others to see her in a manner that far exceeds the truth of her own lack of ethical behaviour

Seminar Donations

The average person would pay around $10 when they go and get a cup of coffee

The cuppa lasts for around 1⁄4 to 1⁄2 hour

So they value the cuppa at $20 to $40 per hour

The average person donates $10 for 4 hours of my instruction

The average person values Jesus' time at $2.50 per hour (including expenses I incur)

The average seminar attendee values a cuppa at 8 to 16 times the value of my time

It's a good thing I do not get offended easily

Their treasure is in their local coffee house, personal comfort

When Mary Met Me

She valued her family's approval as more important than her relationship with me

She sacrificed her own desires in order to have her family's approval

At Christmas time in particular, a lot of people do this

So I was not worth having a negative emotion projected at her from her family

This situation lasted for 1 year, until Mary addressed the lack of value

It took another 4 years for her to openly address the issue in public

Her treasure was in having the approval of her family

Addictions Or Complete Denial

I have repeatedly mentioned how frustration, annoyance, anger, rage and resentment indicate the level of addiction present that a person still desires to be satisfied

But many of you still get angry whenever you hear a grain of truth from anyone

This is an indication that many of you still treasure your addictions over your relationship with God

Example: Phone call with Mary

Man called, said; "I am facing my fears, asking you to channel for me"

Mary said; "I don't feel like doing a channelling for you because there is so much demand and expectation coming out of you towards myself and AJ all the time."

Man said; "Oh, right."

Mary said; "And now you are angry with me."

He said; "Well you can say that Mary, but I'm shaking like a leaf, and afraid."

Mary said; "I don't feel like you are afraid at all. I feel that you are angry."

He said angrily; "Well, I'm afraid. I'm facing my fears calling you."

Mary said; "Well, we can disagree, that's OK. I'm going to go now."

Then projected rage at Mary during Mary's presentations

### What would indicate you treasure Divine Truth in your personal life

Act upon Truth rather than talking about it

Luke 8:15 15

But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

Talking about it does nothing except feed addictions to be heard

You demonstrate gratitude by acting upon the truth you receive rather than talking about it

If you have this gratitude, you will produce a crop of your own (E.g. Sharing with others)

E.g. How many of you are here because of the direct result of Peter Heibloem's actions

Developing a relationship with God rather than relying on Mary & Jesus

John 17:26 26

And I have made your name known to them and will make it known, in order that the love with which you loved me may be in them and I in union with them.

I am here today is because I wish to help you with your relationship with God

I would like you to do what I do; that is, rely on God rather than any other being

You demonstrate you value Divine Truth by developing the relationship with God

E.g. Stop relying on Mary or myself to give you answers; grow in relationship with God

E.g. Stop being unloving and untruthful with each other; develop desire for personal growth

E.g. Stop expecting things without contribution; without personal pure sincere desire

Let your light shine (if you have a light)

Luke 8:16-18 16

"No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. 17 For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. 18 Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what they think they have will be taken from them."

If you truly appreciate what you have received, then you would develop

Then your body would be bright; people will come asking for your assistance

In addition, if following your desires, you would attract people to share with

You will not have to force the "Truth" upon people, as many of you are doing

### What would indicate you treasure Mary & my time & effort

Listening rather than resistance, denying, attacking, minimizing, justification, blaming us

Most come along to a seminar, or event without participation

Most spend the time listening, only to apply most of the information to others

Most ignore the indirect counsel received in the event

Most then demand personal time for the personal queries

Why would we want to do this when you have already ignored the indirect counsel?

Most demand or expect personal attention, then get angry when we do not give it

Why would we wish to give more to a person who is already in a rage with us?

Then many donate to us expecting this will cause us to change our response to the lack of love

This behaviour indicates that you do not treasure our time and effort

This behaviour also indicates you have no integrity of character; thinking you can bribe us

This behaviour indicates you treasure maintaining the façade more than treasuring truth

Spend a lot of time in self-reflection

Most come and expect instant gratification and answers to their own questions

Most do this without consideration of the other participants, nor the material being delivered

Most after being given answers do not self-reflect; do not spend time allowing analysis

To have a relationship with God; will require pure desire on your part

This behaviour indicates you want quick answers gained by other people's perceptions

This behaviour indicates that you do not really want a relationship with God

Most only value material that gives you immediate personal benefit

Most are in complete denial of what they receive; not understanding how well we see you

Most do not treasure truth; rather they treasure their own perception of themselves

Act upon information given; rather than wanting your own addictions & perceptions met

Stop expecting us to give you answers that you think you want

Start spending much more time developing a desire to feel your true feelings

Spend more time working through issues regarding your desire for God

All answers come from God

### Once you have sincere feelings, then treasure them

Sincere feelings are the link between yourself and God

If you treasure these feelings, no matter how difficult, you will definitely grow

These feelings are the underlying motivation for all of your growth

These feelings will result in the supreme happiness that comes from God's Love

These feelings will result in you knowing and understanding all Divine Truth

