

This book is a work of fiction. People, places, events and situations are the product of the author's imagination. Any resemblances to actual persons, living or dead, or historical events, is purely coincidental.

The text of this book has been aligned ragged right for ease of reading. If you have questions about this design choice, feel free to contact us at typography@maven-books.com.

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An imprint of Maven Publishing USA.

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For permission requests, please address Maven Publishing USA at info@maven-books.com.

Copyright © 2016 by Wendy Stenzel Oleston

Cover design by Todd Simpson

ISBN-13: 978-0-9770523-0-5

ISBN-10: 0-9970523-0-9

Table of Contents

PART I: WITH

Friday, Day 1

Saturday, Early Morning, Day 2

Saturday Morning, Day 2

Saturday Afternoon, Day 2

Sunday Morning, Day 3

Sunday Evening, Day 3

Monday, Day 4

Tuesday, Day 5

Wednesday, Day 6

Thursday, Day 7

Friday, Day 8

Saturday, Day 9

Sunday, Day 10

Monday, Day 11

Tuesday, Day 12

Wednesday, Day 13

Thursday, Day 14

Friday, Day 15

Sunday, Day 17

Monday, Day 18

Tuesday Early Morning, Day 19

Tuesday, Day 19

Wednesday, Day 20

Thursday, Day 21

Friday, Day 22

Saturday, Day 23

Sunday, Day 24

Monday, Day 25

Monday Evening, Day 25

Tuesday Morning, Day 26

Tuesday Afternoon, Day 26

Days 27-47

Wednesday, Day 48

Monday, Day 53

Tuesday, Day 54

Wednesday, Day 55

Thursday, Day 56

Days 57-63

Days 64-70

Days 71-77

Days 78-84

Wednesday Morning, Day 90

Wednesday Afternoon, Day 90

Thursday, Day 91

Days 92-97

Day 99

Day 100

PART II: WITHOUT

Friday, Day 1

Saturday Early Morning, Day 2

Saturday Afternoon, Day 2

Sunday Morning, Day 3

Sunday Evening, Day 3

Monday, Day 4

Tuesday, Day 5

Wednesday, Day 6

Thursday, Day 7

Friday, Day 8

Saturday, Day 9

Sunday, Day 10

Tuesday, Day 12

Wednesday, Day 13

Thursday, Day 14

Friday, Day 15

Monday, Day 18

Tuesday, Day 19

Wednesday, Day 20

Thursday, Day 21

Friday, Day 22

Saturday Afternoon, Day 23

Saturday Evening, Day 23

Sunday, Day 24

Monday, Day 25

Tuesday, Day 26

Thursday, Day 28

Friday, Day 29

Saturday, Day 30

Saturday, Day 37

Wednesday, Day 48

Friday, Day 50

Saturday, Day 51

Monday, Day 53

Wednesday, Day 55

Friday, Day 57

Thursday, Day 63

Friday, Day 64

Sunday Morning, Day 73

Sunday Afternoon, Day 73

Friday, Day 92

Saturday, Day 93

Sunday, Day 94

Saturday, Day 100
CONTENT WARNING:

While this book is Christian in theme, it contains strong sexual content and language.
Dedication

For my husband

Being married to me is a challenge.

Thank you for making it look easy.
Acknowledgements

Mary Lanier for reminding me that God creates ALL life

Teresa Terrill for listening and getting it right

Stacie Hogue for all the brainstorming and support

Jennifer Carlson for making the name stick to the wall

Natasha Preston for the encouragement to keep going

Lisa Angel Miller for the editing assistance

My beta readers: Stacie, Lauren, Martha, Jessica, Ryan, Caren, Kristi, Deborah, Lucy

Sean and Jessica for believing in me enough to take a chance on me

"We should fear and love God so that we lead a sexually pure and decent life in what we say and do, and husband and wife love and honor each other."

"I believe that God has made me and all creatures; that He has given me my body and soul, eyes, ears and all my members, MY REASON and all my senses, and still takes care of them."

-Martin Luther
  WITH

FRIDAY, DAY 1

IT WAS A frigid Friday night. Thirty below was not a normal temperature in this portion of Wisconsin by any means, but it was the current reality. Faith stood in line at the local pizza shop waiting to buy her dinner. She shivered even though standing inside, wrapped up in her heaviest winter coat.

Her heart was strangely heavy. Feeling little to nothing was normal and had been for years. A recent medication change for her severe mental disorder made her realize the old prescriptions had been blocking her emotions. Now, with the new medicine seeping into her system and the old medicine leaving, she felt as though she were waking up for the first time in forever.

After ordering, there would be a ten-minute wait, but that was fine with her. There was nowhere to be and no one to see. The television was the only thing waiting for her at home.

After checking her phone for notifications and finding nothing new, she looked down at the floor. The tiles were white... or at least had been white. Now gray at best, with lots of dirt crammed in the crevices in between, she imagined what the floor might have looked like when it was new. How many customers had walked across it since then? As a weekly patron, she'd helped turn what had once been brand new into this filthy mess before her.

Her pizza was ready. She stepped up to the counter and reached into her purse... only to find her wallet missing. In a split second, she remembered taking it out earlier to make an online purchase. It was still sitting on the desk, doing her absolutely no good at all.

"I don't have my wallet."

Groans from the people in line behind her filled the room. After a deep breath she spoke, "I'm sorry, I guess I'll have to come back."

A male voice came from behind her. "I'll get that for you, ma'am."

She turned and there he was, ready to part with a ten-dollar bill. A smile struck her heart as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket.

"No, I can't let you do that, really... it's okay. I'll just come back later."

"It's not a big deal," he said with a gentle smile that took her breath away. He was very attractive, tall with hazel eyes and brown hair. Struck speechless, she could only watch as he paid the cashier. No one had ever done anything like that for her before.

The man stepped away from the counter and Faith followed. "Thank you so much," she said, "you didn't have to do that."

He held the pizza box out. "Really, it's not a big deal. I've been there, and I remember what it felt like, so no worries."

She took the box slowly, unsure if she should. "Thank you... I don't know what else to say."

"You're welcome. You don't need to say anything else. Just pay it forward."

She nodded. "I will."

He opened the door to the blistering cold. He was hard to walk away from, but the cold air from outside was pouring in as he held the door, so she made herself leave.

A smile found her face as she walked towards her car. A quick look back to see him one last time made her stop in her tracks. Apparently, he'd stepped out of line to help her, and the other people weren't allowing him back in his spot. Faith found herself marching right back towards the pizza shop. She pushed the door open and shouted, "Are you guys kidding me?"

The room fell silent.

"He stepped out of line to be nice and help a stranger. Cut the guy a break and let him back in line!" She creased her brow.

One of the women didn't like Faith's tone and began yelling.

The good Samaritan stepped between them as shouting filled the room. Faith's heart began to race. This is exactly why I don't like being in public; people in general suck!

He turned to her. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Faith shook her head. "No, you didn't get your pizza even though you paid for one."

"I don't need one, really. It's not worth it."

"Come on." He opened the door again and led her outside, where the wind whipped at her face, reminding her of the bitterness outside.

Even so, his voice was warm. "Thank you for coming back. That was really nice."

"Being nice doesn't really pay, does it?"

"Sure it does." He paused to look down at her. "I got the pleasure of meeting you."

A small smile found her lips. "Well, we haven't officially met yet."

"True. We should fix that."

"We should."

"I'm Lucas," he said, extending his gloved hand to her.

She took it. "Hi, Lucas, I'm Faith. It's nice to meet you... officially."

They shook hands as another burst of wind hit them, blowing fallen snow towards them. She squinted tightly and shivered as she turned away from the gust.

He shielded her with his body. "This is going to sound a little crazy, but would you be interested in sharing your pizza? That is, if you don't already have plans."

She was surprised by his suggestion and spoke without thinking, "No, no... I don't. It was just going to be me and the History Channel tonight."

Another blast of wind hit them, prompting Lucas to take action. "Come on, we better get out of this before we freeze."

Something about him made her feel safe so she went along, enjoying his executive decision. Sexy.

Once in his Chevy

Trailblazer, they looked at each other, breath frosting the air between them. "Let me get us warmed up," he said and started the truck. The engine was still warm so the heat worked immediately.

He took the pizza box from her, placing it on the console between them.

She looked at him. "Thank you so much for being so nice to me. I feel incredibly stupid."

"No, don't. It was my pleasure. Thank you for coming back."

Embarrassed at the memory of how she'd yelled at strangers, she closed her eyes and hid her face behind her hands. "Oh my, I can't believe I did that." She peered through her fingers and continued, "I'm sorry. I hope I didn't embarrass you. I certainly embarrassed myself. I'm not usually like that; I don't know what got into me."

"No, it was fine. It was nice... sweet even. Thank you."

Her hands dropped to her lap. "You probably think I'm a mess."

"No, not at all."

After taking her gloves and hat off, Faith ran her fingers through her long, straight brown hair, trying to tame it from the static in the air. Their eyes connected and words left her without a thought. "You have really pretty eyes."

He blushed slightly. "Thank you. You have a beautiful smile."

Embarrassed by the compliment, she figured he'd only said it out of obligation.

Awkward silence filled the truck; enough to make them both laugh at the same time.

He pointed to the drugstore in the strip mall. "Let me go get us something to drink, and then we can eat right here. Is that okay with you?"

"I'd offer to buy, but..." She shrugged with an uncomfortable laugh.

"No, it's my pleasure. I'll be right back." As he left on his mission, Faith thought about what a trusting guy he was, letting a stranger hang out in his vehicle with the keys like that. So she snooped, hoping to find some clues about him, but all she discovered was that he was very neat. No trash or papers anywhere, not like her car at all.

Once he returned, the questions started. "So, what does Faith do for a living?" he asked.

She took a slice of pizza as she answered, "Faith is a work-at-home digital designer."

"Nice. Working in your pajamas sounds great!" He took a piece for himself. "Are you your own boss or do you answer to the man?"

"I answer to me. What about you? What does Lucas do?"

"Lucas isn't as lucky as Faith... he has to put real clothes on, head to the office each day, and do what he is told." He changed his tone to a less stiff one. "I work for a software company writing code for phone applications. It's not too terribly exciting, but it pays the bills and I don't mind it."

Faith's eyes drank him in. His slightly curly hair was short but long enough to style, which he took the time to do. His skin was tan, probably naturally, considering it was the dead of winter. His smile was one of his most winning features, but what really struck her was a sexy dimple, which only made an appearance when he smiled a certain way. An extremely likable and gentle nature surrounded him. A smooth, soft tone mixed with confident, controlled mannerisms.

He noticed her staring at him and paused, revealing that sexy dimple with a smile.

Embarrassed to be caught, she briefly averted her eyes.

"Tell me about yourself, Faith."

She wasn't sure where to start. "I'm a hometown girl, lived here in Fitchville most of my life. I live just down the road from my parents, and I'm an only child. I went to art school in Georgia, which I loved because it got me away from the extreme weather. But as much as I hate the winter, something about it draws me in. I feel like there's this strange connection everyone in the cold Midwest has with each other. We all know what it's like to survive in the snow and ice, and that bonds the region together somehow. It's comforting in a strange way. That probably sounds weird, but that's how I feel."

"No, I totally get that."

"What about you? What's your story?"

"I grew up in Chicago, only moved here a few years ago for my job. I like Fitchville, but it's a bit inclusive. I have a younger sister and my parents divorced when I was fairly young. My father passed away a few years ago, but to be honest, I didn't know him well. My childhood was riddled with trips back and forth and parental manipulations. I tell you, having lived through that, I would never do that to my children... if I ever have any. When I get married, it's gonna be for the long haul. Whatever it takes to stay together, that's what I'll do. End of story."

What? A man who knows what commitment means? No way! "So I'm going out on a limb to say you want a family when you grow up."

"When I grow up? That's funny! I think I might already be there. I got my first grey hair at twenty-two, and I'm pretty sure it had my mother's name all over it."

"I'm well aware of the effects a mother can have on hair roots."

Their eyes met for a moment before she broke the connection. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

He shook his head. "No. My last relationship ended when I moved here. She wanted to get married but I wasn't ready."

"Ah. A heartbreaker."

"No. We weren't a good match. We stayed together longer than we should have. What about you? I know someone as pretty as you has a boyfriend."

She had to giggle. Most of the guys in town knew of her because of her mental disorder, so they steered clear, not wanting to be involved with someone so damaged. "No. I haven't met anyone worth my time. I don't get out much."

"This must be my lucky night then."

She peeked at him. Is he flirting with me?

"What does Faith like to do in her spare time?"

"I'm pretty boring. I like to read, and in the warmer times of the year, I jog. I don't know. My life isn't all that interesting. What about you?"

"A runner, huh?"

"I wouldn't call myself a runner... I jog... slowly. You can probably walk faster than I run."

His laugh was pleasant to listen to. "Running isn't easy though, so no matter how slow you are, it's an accomplishment. Me, I go to the gym almost every morning. I like to socialize with my friends over a few beers now and then. I like to stay active... biking, hiking, skiing."

"Busy man. I'm not nearly as social." She glared at her hands. "I don't really like people very much."

"Why's that?"

She peered at him, knowing there wasn't a way to explain without telling him about her mental disorder, but this wasn't the time. "I don't know. I'm a loner... an awkward type."

He smiled genuinely. "You don't look awkward to me."

What a nice thing to say. "Well, thanks." Her hands held her attention again.

When they finished eating, the clock revealed almost an hour had passed. With their conversation at a pause, it appeared to be a good time to make her exit. "I better let you get back to your Friday night. Thanks for the pizza and the pleasant conversation. It was nice."

His dimple made another appearance. Oh, he is handsome. I hope he asks for my...

"Why don't you give me your number and maybe we can talk again, if you want."

Yes! "Sure." Calmly, she gave him her number as he pressed buttons on his phone.

He called her immediately. "Now you have my number too."

She swiped the front of her phone to make it stop ringing and then stored the number with his name.

He was busy typing, so she sat in silence, awaiting his attention again.

A notification lit up her phone; a text from Lucas.

L: I don't want to say goodbye yet

She felt the same and returned the sentiment.

F: Me neither.

It was hard not to laugh at the ridiculous texting.

L: What are we going to do about that?

She shrugged. "I don't know." Without thinking, an idea spouted out. "Why don't we go over to my place? We could get a movie or just sit and talk."

"Only if you're totally okay with it. I don't want you to feel weird about inviting a stranger into your home."

She typed another message.

F: I'm okay with it, just promise you won't stab me with a fork

He seemed amused. "I promise. I'm not really a fork-wielding kind of guy."

"Okay. I live over by the dog park if you know where that is."

"Yes, I do." He put the truck in drive and off they went.

She invited him into her apartment, thankful that she'd cleaned that morning. It was a small one-bedroom with an enclosed kitchen and a large room that was both the dining room and living room. The bathroom had two entrances, one from the hall and one from her bedroom. It was a small living space, but it was everything she needed.

"Would you like a drink? I have lemonade and tea or some red wine if you're up for that."

He came in slowly, taking in his surroundings. He started to remove his coat. "Sure. You choose." She disappeared into the kitchen. She heard him shout from the living room, "Hey, you like to play cards?"

"Yes," she shouted back.

He appeared in the kitchen doorway with the deck of cards from her coffee table in his hands. "Ever played Bullshit?"

She was pouring them both a glass of wine and laughed. "Oh yes! I am the queen of Bullshit." Realizing how funny her response sounded, she glared at him. "That is totally not what I meant."

He laughed. "Oh no, you can't take it back now! Ms. Queen of Bullshit."

"That's it, you're going down!"

They went to the dining room table. He sat at the end of the table and she sat on the side. "Prepare to lose," she said playfully as he dealt the cards. A sip of wine relaxed her.

He was a formidable opponent and they played round after round, laughing hysterically at each other. Every time they touched, it felt as though lightning had struck. She wondered if he felt it too.

She noticed him scooting his chair towards her slowly, and he was touching her leg with his. Perhaps that was a sign... perhaps it was just a coincidence.

She looked at the clock and realized it was almost one a.m. "Wow, it's late. You should probably take me back to my car." She started to stack the cards.

He placed his hand on hers. "I have a confession, Faith."

She flipped her hand over so their palms were touching lightly. His fingers began to dance with hers. Electricity pulsed. "What's that?"

He looked at their hands before speaking and took his time to reply. "I am very, very, extremely attracted to you."

No one had ever said anything like that to her before. Excitement coursed through her veins even as she attempted to play it cool. It felt like a significant moment, so she took her time to respond.

SATURDAY, EARLY MORNING, DAY 2

SILENCE FILLED THE room as she took in the moment. Honesty leaped from her lips, unable to be held back. "I'm quite attracted to you, too."

His hand closed around hers as that dimple stole her breath. "Come here," he said, gently pulling her arm. He sat her sideways on his lap, guided her face towards his, and kissed her lightly.

A fuse lit within her heart the moment their lips touched. She closed her eyes and a few kisses later, he opened his mouth. Stop thinking and enjoy these moments of affection from this absolutely gorgeous man, Faith!

Their kisses intensified as his hand travelled up and down her back. Opening her eyes, she pulled away for a moment. She swung her leg over his and then sat on his lap, straddling him. He smiled briefly at the position adjustment as she feverishly dove into another deep kiss.

Never in her life had she felt this kind of fire. She liked her new medication--and this handsome stranger. They kissed for a long while.

Completely turned on, she wanted more. In her twenty-eight years of life, no one had ever worked her up like this. It was a totally new pleasure, and it had her sensibilities off kilter. Their kissing slowed then stopped. They stared into each other's eyes. She took a deep breath and bit her lip, thinking over the current situation.

After gazing back and forth between his gorgeous hazel eyes, Faith stood, taking his hand in hers. "Come here." She slowly stepped back towards her room.

She lead him down the hall, and once at the foot of her bed, she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He placed his hands on her hips, pulled her body to his, and kissed her.

She spoke between kisses, "I don't normally do things like this. Like... never." She started to pull his shirt off.

"Me neither," he replied, pulling hers up as well.

His bare chest was gorgeous, with hard, defined muscles screaming to be touched. He removed her bra as she whispered, "You have to be nice to me. I'm kind of a novice."

"Don't worry; I plan on being very nice to you."

They finished undressing each other while kissing, then he lay her on the bed. He hovered over her. "Do you have any protection?"

That thought hadn't cross her mind at all. "No. I'm sorry, I don't."

"I think I have one in my wallet."

"God, I hope so," she said.

He smiled. "Let me check. Don't go anywhere."

As if I would.

He left her momentarily, then returned with a smile and a kiss. "I knew I'd be glad I had this one day."

"You're a smart man."

"And you are a beautiful woman."

"No need to flatter, I think you're already in with me."

"Not flattery, truth."

He took care of the protection business quickly then returned to her lips.

Her heart raced in her chest. Was she really doing this? It had been a long time and she was nervous of pain or worse. What if she was bad at it? Fortunately, her passion overrode her fear. She reminded him in a sexy whisper, "Don't forget to be nice to me."

His touch was compassionate as he brushed her hair gently to the side of her face. "We don't have to. We can stop before we even start. It's okay."

Ugh. A nice guy statement. "No. I don't want to stop. Do you?"

He grinned. "Oh God, no, but..."

She pulled him in for a kiss before another word could be uttered.

"Are you sure?"

"Bring it," she replied, heart still racing.

He sunk himself into her, causing her to gasp loudly. There was some pain but it was temporary. He moved his body gently, watching her face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay."

He stared into her eyes as if to make sure.

"I'm good... really good," she said as pleasure washed over her. His gentle yet firm touch felt amazing. "I have to say, you are being very good to me." Her smile widened. "Damn, incredibly good."

He grinned proudly, continuing his pursuit of pleasuring her. "I have a good partner."

"No, it's all you. Trust me."

"Just relax and enjoy. I want to make you feel amazing."

Her eyes closed. "Oh, you are."

He shushed her sweetly, reminding her to relax. She melted in his arms and went along with whatever he did. He pulled her knee up to the side of his chest and held it there. His strong hand felt magnetic on her leg, holding it right where he wanted it. The weight of his body made her weak in the heart. She felt surrounded. Surrounded by emotion and... love. Was this what love felt like? Having never loved a man before, she wondered if she might be there already? Surely not.

Suddenly, their kissing ceased as her body flooded with an amazing burst of emotion. Her head went back and her eyes closed as he began kissing her neck. Pleasure built within her core, causing a total loss of control. "Oh God!" she shouted, barely able to breathe as a flurry of delight pulsed through her. Slowly, the sensation faded and she opened her eyes to find him looking at her.

"That's exactly what I was going for." He smiled proudly and went back to her lips, hovering closely.

She crashed her lips into his forcefully. He pinned her down and quickened everything, even his kisses. He was intense and powerful, very different from the way he had begun so gently.

He pressed his face into the bed beside hers and turned towards her ear whispering, "You feel so amazing to me." He moaned, indicating it was his turn. Faith grabbed on tight as he released himself slowly.

Stillness met them. Soon, he lifted his head to make eye contact. A gentle stroke to her face led to another kiss, after which he spoke, "Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Thank you."

"Yes, it was."

He kissed her again before rolling to her right to catch his breath. He took her hand in his and kissed her fingers. "That was a nice surprise ending to my day."

His words made her giggle.

"Come here." He pulled her to him, wanting her head resting on his chest. His hand gently brushed her hair. "Was I good enough to you?"

"Holy crap, yes! I'd say so. Now you can pass out."

He chuckled slightly.

"Isn't that the way it works? Men always fall asleep right after sex."

"I suppose it is. It's because if we have done our job properly, we are exhausted." He kissed her forehead. "Would you like to have a conversation about how to end world hunger instead?"

She giggled again. "No."

"Good. Not sure I could handle that right now."

After a short silence, she spoke, "By the way, you can spend the night."

His chest shook as he laughed. "Oh, thanks. I was wondering if you were going to kick me out when you were done with me."

"I'll let you stay, just this once."

"Thanks, you are so very kind."

She lifted her head, looking up to find him smiling just as she was. "Did that really just happen?" she asked.

"Why yes, I believe it did." He guided her mouth to his for a kiss. "Thank you."

She rested her head on his chest again. "No, thank you."

He sat up. "Excuse me for a moment. I'll be right back."

Faith threw herself back on the bed staring at the ceiling as he went to her bathroom. What the hell did you just do, Faith? Her hands covered her face, embarrassed.

"God, you are beautiful..." He said as he slid back into bed, bringing another smile to her lips. His chest went to hers as did his lips, his hands combing through her hair.

I'm the luckiest girl on the planet right now.

"What are you thinking?" he asked. He sounded concerned.

Intense eye contact and a grin made his apprehension disappear and his dimple reappear. "I'm equally enamored with you. I mean, I did just have sex with you."

"Yes, you did."

Her heart fluttered. Damn he was sexy.

There's nothing like a warm male hand on a girl's naked belly to remind her she's not alone in bed. She peeked over at him as he whispered, "Hey beautiful." Her alarm clock showed 4:00 a.m.

"Hey." She snuggled into his chest as his strong arms wrapped around her. She felt his hand gently caressing the back of her head and it made her tingle all over. "I'm glad you're still here. I thought you might sneak out once I fell asleep."

"I'm not going anywhere." He lifted her chin to kiss her. One gentle kiss turned into another, then another. Their mouths opened at the same time and their tongues began to intertwine.

A rush of emotion hit her chest as she threw her leg over his body. His nakedness was inviting, making her intensely aware of his every touch.

As their passion built, he rolled his body on hers. Chest on chest, she looked into his eyes, wondering what they were going to do about their protection problem. If only she kept something on hand for just this occasion. But nothing like this was supposed to happen to her.

He slowed their make out. "We should probably stop."

Her heart ached at the thought. "But... I want you."

"Oh God, I want you too, but..."

She interrupted him with a kiss and wrapped her legs around him.

"You're sure?" he asked.

She nodded. "If you are, yes."

With those simple words, round two began. "We are stupid, you know that?"

It felt even more amazing than the first time. "Oh, but stupid feels incredible." She moaned.

"Yes. Yes, it does. Just want you to know I'm clean. I've been tested."

"Me too." She arched her back as he pulled himself towards her. He straightened his arms, pushing his upper body above her. Both her hands reached for his incredible chest. She ran them across his pecs and closed her eyes, feeling pure pleasure as their bodies moved against each other. She could tell he truly wanted to make her feel as good as he did.

He slowly pressed his chest against hers and began kissing the area around her left ear. He whispered, "You doing okay?"

She turned her face towards him and lightly bit his ear. "I'm wonderful. How about you?"

"Never been better," he replied softly then dove into her mouth with intensity.

He was certainly amazing. It was hard to believe they had just met.

He released her from his grasp then went to his knees. He lifted her, pressing her against the headboard. Like putty in his hands, she went along for the ride. He held her in place with his strong arms and he brought himself towards her from beneath.

Damn, he knows what he's doing.

Intensity began to build in her body and she knew she was getting close to losing control of herself. Placing her head on his shoulder, it began to wash over her. She heard him sigh, and knew he was there too. Concerned he might stop, Faith grabbed on tight, not giving him the choice. In that moment, she didn't care about their lack of protection at all; the only thing on her mind was giving him something incredible to remember.

They gasped together, clinging, feeling pleasure wash over them at the same time.

When it was done, they became still and held each other as the silence of the room and their heavy breathing became noticeable.

After a few moments, he lay her down then placed himself next to her, taking her hand in his. Her head went on his chest and his arms wrapped around her. "That was by far the best sex I have ever had," he said.

It was true for her too, but that was no shock.

His hand brushed her hair away from her face. "Thank you." He kissed the top of her head.

"Do you always say that after sex?"

"When it's that good, yes. It's only polite."

"Aw, your mother raised you right. She should be very proud."

He laughed really hard. "If you knew my mother you'd be laughing as hard as I am."

Her heart soared, wishing they could stay like this forever. He was incredible.

Snuggling into him, she closed her eyes. Tiredness was creeping in. "You're not going to sneak out on me, are you?"

Both arms went around her as he kissed her forehead then closed his eyes. "Not a chance. I kinda like you."

"Kinda, huh? I'd hate to see what you do to women you really like a lot."

"I say 'thank you' twice."

A laugh burst from her mouth. "Maybe someday I'll be that lucky."

"Maybe."

SATURDAY MORNING, DAY 2

THE MORNING SUN woke her. The blankets slid off her naked chest as she rose, causing her to notice her lack of clothing immediately. She remembered again that she was not alone. Looking down at her sleeping companion, memories washed over her and she couldn't help but smile. Was this real? Had she really just slept with this guy she barely knew? Had they really just had the most amazing sexual experience of their lives together? She slid to the edge of her bed and got out. She pulled a t-shirt from her drawer and put it on as she went to the bathroom and closed the door. The mirror didn't lie. Yes, this was real. She combed her hair and then splashed cold water on her face.

Wiping her face with a fresh towel, a sobering thought occurred to her. Had he just used her? What if he left and she never saw him again? Her heart leaped in her chest, and it hurt. Only two seconds separated the feeling of being totally satisfied and being completely scared to death. This drastic emotional change made her realize she had not taken her medicine before bed. Taking her pills on time was very important.

Disappointed in herself, she shoved the pills into her mouth and swallowed. Facing him now would not be easy. She realized in that moment why they called it a walk of shame.

He was sitting on the bed already wearing his jeans, sliding his shirt over his head. He stood with a smile and walked towards her. "Good morning, beautiful." He kissed her forehead.

That was a nice greeting, or maybe he just didn't remember her name. A kiss on the lips preceded a request to use her bathroom. She nodded, and he went in, closing the door behind him.

Alone in her room, she dressed in fresh clothes.

She went to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

He joined her, leaning against the counter. "Anderson."

She looked at him confused.

"Lucas Anderson... I thought you might want to know my last name."

She nearly melted at his dimple. "Oh. Good to know. Mine is Quinn."

"Faith Quinn is a pretty name."

He had remembered her name. "Thank you." She poured coffee for them both. "How do you take it?"

"Cream and sugar."

"Me too. It's good to know we have at least one thing in common." Her tone revealed her embarrassment. "What?" she asked, feeling self-conscious as he stared at her.

"I'm just enjoying the view. You really are beautiful."

Shaking her head, she chuckled. "Even with morning hair?"

He reached for her hand. "Especially with morning hair. You see, if I'm privy to morning hair, that means I got to help make the morning hair." He pulled her towards him. "I'm going to kiss you. Is that okay with you?" His hands went to her waist.

Silence was her answer.

"I hope you don't feel too weird about what happened last night. I meant it when I said I don't normally do things like that. It wasn't a line." He looked sincere.

"I feel a little weird about it; I've got to be honest." She actually felt a lot weird about it. "You have seen me completely naked, and you can recall that thought in your mind anytime you want to, yet I don't even know where you live."

"Highland Apartments."

"Gee, thanks. That helps a lot."

"What can I do to help you not feel weird?"

She shrugged. "I don't think there is anything you can do. It just is what it is."

He brought his lips to hers and whispered before engaging them, "Well, I don't want you to feel weird. I want you to feel happy. You are beautiful and smart and I'm really glad I met you."

After a kiss, his lips remained close. "Really?" she asked, oozing insecurity.

"Really," he replied confidently.

She separated from him before he could kiss her again. "I suppose you better take me to my car."

"Or I could take you to breakfast."

She shook her head. "You don't have to do that."

"I know. I want to."

She felt a headache coming on and knew there wasn't time to wait for food at a restaurant. Eating immediately was priority if she wanted to hold the symptoms of her mental disorder at bay. She opened the fridge, retrieving an apple. "Want one?"

"Sure."

She tossed one at him then got one for herself. "You can just take me to my car and get on with your day." She closed her eyes and rubbed her face. "I can't believe I did that last night." She opened her eyes and bit into her apple.

"I wish I could make you feel better about it."

"You don't need to make me feel better, really. It's fine. I think I just need to... get my car and..."

"Get rid of me?" he offered.

"No, not like that. I just..."

"Don't know how to act?" he offered again.

She nodded.

"I can take you back to your car if that's what you want."

"Yeah, I do."

"All right, let's go."

The car ride was quiet and awkward. All these questions went through her head at once. Would this be the last time she saw him? Would he call her to ask her out? Would she totally regret the night? Was it the worst mistake of her life?

Her car was the only one in the parking lot so it was easy to spot. He looked over at her after pulling up next to it.

She felt the weight of his eyes and wanted to escape them. "Okay, I guess I'll go now." She peeked at him and then admitted what she was feeling. "I have no idea what to say to you right now." She laughed uncomfortably.

"Faith..."

She looked at him. "At least you remember my name."

His face showed compassion.

"See, you don't know what to say either." She shook her head, looking out the windshield. "I'm gonna go." She opened the door and got out. "Bye," she said, then closed the door and headed to her car. Shame caused her to fumble with her keys.

He went to her as she opened her car door. "Hey..."

She looked at him.

"When can I see you again?"

"You don't have to say that, really." Quickly ducking inside her car, she started the engine.

"Come here," he said placing his hand on her arm and bringing her to her feet. "I would really like to see you again."

She took a deep breath then sighed. "Okay. You have my number. You can call me. I'm gonna go, okay?"

"No, not okay. Not until..." He took her face in his hands giving her a simple kiss.

When it was over their eyes connected, lips almost touching. "You sure know how to distract me, Lucas," she said with a grin.

Damn he is handsome.

"Seems like you need a little distracting. Perhaps I should kiss you again."

"Maybe you should."

With that, he gave her a slow but deep kiss. It lasted a long time and reminded her of all the incredible passion they experienced together. When the stunning kiss was over, he spoke, "I will call you soon."

She nodded, dumbstruck. "Okay."

"I hope you have a great day."

Nodding again, she replied, "You too."

Stepping backwards once with a grin he said, "It has already been a great day. And Faith..."

"Yes."

"Thank you, thank you." An expression of total satisfaction revealed the dimple she loved.

"Did I just get the double thank you?" she asked squinting.

"You did!"

She grinned as he got in his truck. They waved and he drove away.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON, DAY 2

HER PHONE BUZZED. She had a friend request on Facebook from Lucas Anderson. She smiled. Okay, maybe it hadn't been the biggest mistake of her life. After accepting his friend request, she proceeded to his wall for some cyber-stalking.

A gorgeous profile picture showed off his beautiful eyes and warm smile. His info page revealed he graduated from Purdue with an engineering degree and he would be turning twenty-nine in only a few days. Each photo of him that she clicked on made her wish he was naked in her bed right at that moment.

A notification beep let her know she had been tagged in a status on his page.

Had an AMAZING evening with Faith Quinn! Pizza, conversation, and whatnot... best evening ever! Thank you, Thank you :)

Another double thank you made her grin. He was online, so she sent him an instant message.

F: Whatnot? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? LOL

L: Ha ha Can't wipe the smile off my face!

She commented on his status.

No, Thank YOU. It was AMAZING.

L: How are you feeling?

How was she? Was she happy? Confused? Overwhelmed? Totally embarrassed? She barely knew him, yet they had shared the most intimate thing two people could share. How should she feel?

Only one guy had ever made it into her bed before and he had been a huge mistake. As a result, her sex life was supposed to have waited for marriage, or at least engagement. Because of her mental issue, men weren't lining up to date her. And if she couldn't ever get a serious date, the likelihood of marriage was pretty slim. As for sex, never having it again was her expectation.

F: I guess you picked the right girl to buy pizza for

She felt like she wanted to crawl under a rock.

His response came slow.

L: :( Still feeling weird huh?

She only had herself to blame.

L: When can I see you again?

Of course he wants to see her again, what guy wouldn't after a night like that? She shook her head.

F: I don't know

L: :(

L: I like you

F: I bet you do

L: I'm not like that

Should she believe him? For all she knew, he was married or had a girlfriend and buying pizza for strange women was his way of getting laid on the side.

L: I have to go but just know, I'm not like that. I mean it. Okay?

F: Okay

L: I will talk to you soon, that is a promise

F: Okay

L: Smile :) I am

F: :)

Another notification came to her phone. He responded to her comment to his status.

I hope she will hang out with me again sometime soon. Please????

Maybe he did like her. Maybe he wasn't "like that" after all. Only time would tell. She responded, 'You know where to find me :)'

Later that evening, she continued her cyber-stalking of Lucas on Facebook. The first thing she did was look at his friend list. The majority of them were girls from Chicago. As she looked through the girls, a notification came in. It was another comment on Lucas's status from earlier that morning.

And I thought Lucas Anderson only had AMAZING nights with me

The comment from a girl by the name of Mira Grant made Faith's heart sink. Mira was a pretty brunette with green eyes from the Windy City.

Faith burned with jealousy. What an idiot. Did he not think he would get caught playing two women and then posting it on Facebook? Taking her medicine late usually made her a bit irrational, but her jealousy seemed valid. Sitting there fuming, she considered her options on how to reply. She decided to text him instead of making a public statement.

F: Who the hell is Mira Grant?

There was no disguising her displeasure with that text. It took a while for him to respond, so she sat staring at her phone, burning with fury.

L: ???

F: Look at your wall

I'm so stupid! She had let him take complete advantage of her. His reply took time.

L: Ignore that. She is trying to cause trouble. I deleted it

Faith refreshed her Facebook screen and Mira's comment disappeared.

F: Who is she?

L: No one important

F: Are you sleeping with her?

L: No

Faith knew she was acting like a jealous fool but she was unable to stop. Was it her mental problem, or was this the way anyone would feel? She had no idea.

F: I am such an idiot

L: Stop it. I'm calling you

Her phone rang almost immediately, but she declined the call.

F: I don't want to talk to you

L: I swear to you Mira is nothing but a troublemaker. Please believe me

Faith's smoldering heart began to settle as she considered he might be telling her the truth.

L: She is a drama-filled friend of my ex

Faith took a deep breath.

F: Really?

L: Yes really

She felt foolish, but for a different reason now.

F: I'm sorry

L: It's okay. I understand

Had she just let her insecurities over having sex with him without really knowing him yet ruin everything? This relationship, if she could even call it that, was out of order. How could she know if he was trustworthy? She couldn't.

L: Are you okay now?

F: Yes. I'm really sorry

L: Don't worry. Be happy

F: :)

L: What are you up to tomorrow?

F: I have church in the morning. Probably gonna burst into flames on my way in

L: God wouldn't make a gorgeous woman like you and then burn her up because she is irresistible

Her heart swooned at his sweetness. A scripture came to her mind and she typed it, not even thinking.

F: He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear

L: Throwing some 1 Corinthians at me... nice!

F: I'm impressed, you know your Bible

L: And when you are tempted He will provide a way out

F: Epic fail on our part

L: Yes. I am responsible so I will be the one to burst into flames at church tomorrow, not you

F: We are both responsible

L: Do you think your amazingness is an acceptable defense?

F: ha ha - I think not

L: And now that I have experienced the glory that is you... not sure I can stop

F: I enjoyed your glory as well, don't want to stop

L: We're in trouble, aren't we?

F: I think we are *sigh*

L: All right, I better let you go

F: Okay

L: Talk to you tomorrow

F: Goodnight

SUNDAY MORNING, DAY 3

HER THIRD GRADE Sunday school students were exceptionally naughty, making her decide to skip church and stop at the grocery store for a few things on her way home.

She parked and got out of her car, ready to face the blistering wind for only a few moments before ducking inside the store. Gathering some apples to drop in a bag, something caught her eye down at the end of the produce section. It was Lucas, and the sight of him made her heart flutter... until... a young attractive blonde woman made her way to Lucas's side. The blonde put some lettuce in the cart with a smile. The two exchanged words, after which the woman pushed him playfully.

Faith's heart sank. He was too good to be true and now she was sure of her foolishness.

Watching them banter, her stomach dropped out and nausea overtook her. Just as she was about to turn away, he looked right at her and did a double take.

He smiled immediately then quickly looked dazed. He said something to the blonde then turned his attention back to Faith.

Faith looked down, hoping he would go on his merry way. Focusing on the apples, she pretended seeing him with another woman didn't bother her, but no apple could be that interesting. Reminding herself that Lucas didn't owe her anything and it was her own stupid fault for getting involved with him in the first place, she peeked over, hoping he was gone. Instead, she found he and the blonde were headed in her direction.

Play it cool, Faith. Act like it's no big deal.

"Imagine seeing you here, stranger."

Stranger. That's right, you are a stranger. I don't know anything about you except that you're an engineer who writes computer code and you're really good in bed.

She looked at him and then at the blonde, attempting a smile. "Hey," was all she could make herself say.

He turned to the blonde. "This is my sister, Megan. She came up from Dayton yesterday to visit me." He looked at Faith. "Megan, this is Faith."

Megan laughed. "Oh... this is Faith?" Megan held her hand out. "I have to be honest with you; I thought he made you up."

The blonde was his sister? And he had mentioned Faith? Feeling foolish again, Faith shook Megan's hand. Her heart moved back to its appropriate place in her chest. "Oh no, I can't imagine what he told you about me since we just met the other night." Faith looked into his beautiful hazel eyes and wondered why it was so hard to trust him. Maybe because she didn't know him... at all.

Their shared glance lingered as his smile warmed her soul in a way she hoped he could feel, too. What could he have said? Surely he didn't tell his sister about the near stranger that let him infiltrate her bed after only knowing him for a few hours.

"I told her I met the Queen of Bullshit."

Faith burst out a laugh. She responded quickly without even thinking. "And here I've been wondering what the chances are that you're the King of Bullshit."

Lucas's concerned face showed he knew exactly what Faith was thinking. It also said he wished he could respond appropriately.

Megan smiled. "It was great to meet you, Faith, but we don't want to keep you from your shopping. We have a lot to get so we better get a move on."

Faith imagined his hands on her and it made her feel a rush of emotion. Her face flushed red. "Okay."

Her breath was stolen as Lucas peered in Faith's eyes and her heart felt his presence all over her. He remained with her as his sister walked away with their cart.

"I'm not... the King of Bullshit."

She shrugged. "Yeah, we'll see."

"I'm not. I promise. But I understand why you're questioning me."

Not knowing what to say, she averted her eyes.

"I'm glad to see you."

Faith sighed, remembering the way she had acted about Mira. "I'm sorry about last night."

He blew it off. "No, it's okay. I get it. You and I happened quick... it makes sense."

Her smile thanked him for understanding.

Megan called from down the aisle. He replied, "I'll be right there."

"Go ahead... she seems like she's in a hurry. You better go."

"Yeah, she's a little pushy, but I love her."

Megan shouted for him again.

"I'll talk to you soon... okay?"

Faith nodded as he awkwardly leaned to her to kiss her cheek, but for some reason Faith pulled away. She gave him a wave instead, and he hurried off.

All Faith wanted in that moment was to get out of there. She grabbed her bag of apples, went through the self-checkout line, and then left.

Almost to her car, she heard her name being shouted. Lucas ran up to her.

"I really need to say something to you, Faith. If you have a minute to listen."

The air was bitter cold on her face but the rest of her was warm. "Sure."

He looked nervous but his voice sounded confident. "I want... I need to apologize to you..."

She interrupted, "No you don't..."

He interrupted her in return, "Please, just hear me out."

She nodded, biting her lip.

"I know things went really fast with us the other night and I'm sorry. It's just that... I look at you and... damn... I'm just so attracted to you it's hard to control myself. But I want you to know I don't normally do things like that and I've been feeling some mixed emotions about it. Not that I regret it, because I don't. It's just that I should have had more self-control, a lot more self-control. I wish I had been more of a gentleman because I'm afraid I won't ever be able to prove to you what kind of man I really am now that I've behaved like... that. I want to take full responsibility for it and say... I'm really sorry. If you can accept my apology, I would really like the chance to take you out on a real date. The kind of date you deserve. I swear to you, my interest in you isn't just physical. I like you, Faith. I like you a lot, and I can't stop thinking about you."

She was shocked. Never in a million years would she have imagined a guy saying those things. She looked down at the icy parking lot. "It wasn't your fault. I was there too..."

"Faith," he said with urgency.

Their eyes met.

"Let me do this... please." His eyes were earnest.

She saw the truth in him and knew he truly needed this. "It's okay, Lucas. It's fine. I accept your apology." Her eyes darted across the parking lot. "But you don't have to ask me out just because of what happened. I'm a big girl; I know how these things go."

"You still don't get it. I want to ask you out."

She squinted at him.

"What do you say? Will you let me take you out on a real date?"

"Sure. I would like that."

"Good. How about tonight? My sister is leaving this afternoon and I would love to take you to dinner."

"Sure."

"Thank you." He took a step backwards with a grin. "I'll pick you up at six." He took another step backwards and waved. "See you then."

She gave him a small wave and he headed back into the grocery store.

SUNDAY EVENING, DAY 3

SHE WAS INCREDIBLY nervous as five o'clock ticked by. Her heart stopped every time she glanced at the clock. With only five minutes left to wait for him, her palms were sweaty and her head was flustered. By the time he knocked, she was exhausted from worry.

She opened the door to him standing with a bundle of red roses. No one had ever given her flowers before, not even once.

"They're beautiful. Thank you."

"They aren't nearly as beautiful as you are."

Aw, he sure was sweet. They stood looking at each other for an awkward moment. He looked really handsome with his hair styled and his black button-down shirt. A hint of cologne reminded her of the night they met and all the things they had done together. Her chest felt light as air as she imagined him naked with his hands on her. It took every ounce of self-control she had not to attack him right there in the doorway.

"Let me go find something to put these in." She disappeared into the kitchen.

He met her as she stepped into the living room and pulled her into his arms. His eyes were passionate. "I've been thinking about you all day and I have to be honest, now that I'm here looking at you... I really want to skip dinner."

"Me too."

"I don't want you to think sex is all I care about, so we better go to dinner before I'm unable to restrain myself." He brushed her hair with his hand then slowly kissed her forehead.

His lips tingled on her skin, sending chills up her spine. Damn, he is sexy. She slowly released him. "We better go or we're not going to make it there."

They left for dinner, fighting themselves just to get out the door.

The car ride was quiet. His hand flirted with hers as they drove to the restaurant. She wondered if he could feel the same intensity through their touch. It was almost unbearable. How could they have this much chemistry this quickly? It didn't seem possible.

"Tell me something important about yourself," she asked.

He looked over at her with a smile. His dimple showed and made her heart melt. "I'm a Christian," he stated.

She leaned back in the seat. "What else?"

"I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He glanced at her.

She laughed. "I said important, not ridiculous."

"Not ridiculous at all. I think you are amazing."

"You hardly know me."

"I know enough to know you're amazing."

She thought about her mental disorder and wondered if he would still find her amazing if he knew about that. The smile left her face.

"Tell me something important about you."

Her mental illness popped in her head again. That was certainly something of importance, especially to a guy who wanted to date her. Not wanting to waste anyone's time, especially her own, she had always promised to be upfront about it. But now didn't seem like the time. Or maybe she was just scared. "I'm a Christian, and I think you are pretty amazing too."

"Well, it looks like we have the important things covered. We love God and we find each other amazing."

He pulled into one of the fanciest restaurant parking lots in town.

"You didn't need to bring me here," she said, feeling bad that he would be spending so much money on dinner.

He parked and looked at her. "I told you I was going to take you out on the kind of date you deserve. If you ask me, this place isn't nearly nice enough."

Once seated at their table, he ordered a bottle of red wine.

He was a gentleman throughout dinner, putting her at ease in every way. He was docile, the nervousness she felt earlier evaporated, and she found it easy to relax and enjoy their time together. Conversation was effortless, even though a constant intensity of emotion lingered between them. Every glance was filled with affection; every touch was consumed with excitement. It felt like a dream. How could this be real? This incredible man sitting across from her seemed just as smitten with her as she was with him. How did I get so lucky?

When dinner was over, he insisted she wait for him to bring the car around. It was incredibly cold outside and she had nothing but black tights on her legs. Her heart fluttered at how he seemed to need to take special care of her.

"Thank you for dinner," she said as he drove.

"My pleasure. I'm glad we made it there."

She knew immediately what he meant. "It would have been really easy to just... skip it."

"Ah... yes. It would have been way too easy."

"Easy... like me." She was joking, sort of.

He didn't laugh; instead, he reached for her hand. "I don't think that." Her hand went to his. "I have a feeling that was completely out of character for you, just like it was for me."

She looked out the window. "Apparently, there is a first time for everything."

He looked over at her seriously and waited for her eyes to connect with his. "I want you to know, you can trust me." He squeezed her hand then kissed it. "We can take a step back. Take things slow. I just want to get to know you and I want to be near you. Is that okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, that's okay." She had a thought. "Why is it guys never worry about being used for sex?"

He laughed. "Probably because most of us wouldn't mind." He squeezed her hand again.

"What about you?"

"It all depends on the situation I suppose. If the heart is involved, I wouldn't think anyone would like the feeling of being used."

"Good point." Was his heart involved?

"Just so you know, I didn't use you for sex. If that is at all what you're thinking, I want you to know... I didn't. I wouldn't. I'm not that kind of guy."

"How many women have you been with?"

He seemed slightly shocked. "Not very many... seven... counting you."

He sure knew that answer quickly. She was glad to hear it was a relatively low number and not up in the double digits.

"How about you?"

She giggled. "I haven't been with any women."

He burst out laughing then kissed her hand again.

She decided to give him the answer he was searching for. "Only two."

His surprise couldn't be hidden. "Really? Is that counting me?"

Embarrassed, she pressed her lips together and nodded.

He squeezed her hand tightly, kissing it again. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have let things go so far between us..."

She stopped him, sounding slightly annoyed. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm an adult, Lucas. I'm fully capable of making and living with my own choices."

Hearing her tone, he replied with an apology, "You're right. Forgive me."

Liking what she was hearing, she thought back to the way he treated her at the pizza place. He not only shielded her from the argument but also from the wind and weather. "You're protective, aren't you?"

"Yes. Is that a bad thing?"

"No, it's endearing. What else are you? If you had to tell me who you are in three words, what would they be?"

"Excellent question, given our situation." He searched his mind for the right answers and slowly gave them to her. "Patient... understanding... and... passionate."

Her eyebrow went up. "I've seen the passionate part of you, that's for sure."

Slightly embarrassed, he replied, "Yes, you have. What about you? What three words describe you?"

The first word that came to mind was 'crazy'. Oh, how she hated her mental disorder. "The three best words to describe me are probably... hopeful... determined... and... sensitive."

"Determined... that wouldn't be another word for stubborn, would it?" he asked in jest.

Shyly she replied, "Maybe... but I like the word determined better."

He parked at her apartment complex and looked over at her. "I can't wait to experience all of those for myself."

She turned to him with a smile.

He slowly leaned towards her and their lips met. He gently placed his hand on the side of her face and kissed her again. He paused, looking into her eyes and around her face. "You really are beautiful."

She whispered, "And you are gorgeous."

"I've been dying to kiss you all night." Their lips met again and the soft kiss quickly turned passionate. She felt herself caving in at the core as emotion flooded her and energy surged. Their kiss went on for a long while before he finally slowed down. He took a deep breath and pulled away slightly. They stared into each other's eyes. "Let me walk you up."

"Okay," she replied. They both opened their car doors and stepped out. He met her as they walked towards her building and took her hand in his. They both walked slowly, as if trying to put off their goodnight.

Once at her door, she turned to him. "Would you like to come inside?"

He took both her hands in his and played with them. "Yes! Yes, I would, but... I'm not sure I should."

She smiled, knowing what he meant. He was trying to be the good guy he told her he was. Again, her heart began to swell in her chest. She tilted her head. "But... I don't want to say goodnight to you yet."

"I don't either," he replied, continuing to play with her hands.

She slowly pulled him into her apartment. "Just stay and keep me company for a little while."

He slowly allowed the tug then stopped. "I better not."

She nodded. "Okay. I understand." She stepped into him, kissing his cheek quickly then squeezed his hands right before letting go of them. "Thank you for a wonderful first date. I really enjoyed it."

"I did, too."

It was difficult but it needed to be done. "Goodnight, Lucas."

He stepped back, giving her a little wave. "Goodnight." She slowly closed the door, leaning her forehead against it.

I want his hands on me. I want his body against mine... I want to feel all of him on all of me.

Quickly, she opened the door again, hoping to catch him before he left. He inhaled deeply as she looked into his eyes with a pout. Opening the door all the way, her invitation was obvious. He quickly went to her, closing the door behind him. He grabbed her and then went after her with a passionate kiss.

She rocked on her feet slightly as he took control of her. His coat dropped to the floor and she grabbed onto him as he picked her up and her legs wrapped around him. He held her tightly as they kissed and he carried her to the bed. They undressed each other quickly.

He pressed his forehead to hers. "I told myself I wasn't going to do this tonight. I don't want you to think this is all I care about."

"I don't think that," she said as she unhooked her bra.

He tossed it out of the way as his lips went to her tender flesh, kissing her nipple then gently sucking.

It felt amazing.

"I want to kiss you all over, make you scream to the heavens. Oh God, Faith. Now that I've had you it's like I need you to breathe." He brought his mouth to hers and inhaled her closely. "You're like my own personal brand of crack. I have to have you."

"Take me. Do what you want with me."

His tongue invaded her mouth as he began to grind himself into her. His body was all over hers. The anticipation of having him again made her impatient. Their underwear was all that remained and she went after his, pushing them down. Pausing for a moment, she reached for her drawer. "I got us something today." She pulled out a condom and handed it to him.

He took it. "No more stupid decisions."

"No more stupid."

Reaching down to her underwear, he ended up ripping them off. "Sorry, I'll buy you new ones. I have a feeling I'm going to have to buy you a lot of new ones."

"As long as you keep coming back for more, you can rip whatever you like off me."

He kissed a line up her belly then came back to her face. "You have no idea what you do to me."

"You just ripped my underwear off, I think I have a pretty good idea."

His sexy smile turned into a passionate kiss.

She felt his excitement and wanted it, all of it. "God, I want you."

He looked deep into her eyes. "I'm not here just for this."

She nodded at him. "I know."

"I'm here because I like you."

She nodded again. "I believe you." Biting her lip, she held his face close.

"I know this happened really fast, but we're in this together, okay?"

Another nod. She liked the way that sounded. "Yes, we are."

"Yes, we are," he repeated. "Hold on. I'm taking you to heaven with me right now." He drove himself into her completely.

"Yes, you are," she exclaimed and then moaned loudly as he invaded her body and soul.

MONDAY, DAY 4

ANOTHER MEMORABLE NIGHT without much sleep. He found it difficult to keep his hands off her and they ended up having sex three times. As much as he wanted to avoid leaving her, morning arrived and it was time to get back to reality, which meant back to work. He got up early and hit the gym before heading home to shower.

Sitting at his desk he made the decision to mark what he felt was his territory, and he used Facebook to do it. Knowing she would have to approve the request, he changed his relationship status from 'single' to 'in a relationship with' Faith Quinn. He wanted her to know his intentions.

F: I feel like I'm in high school. Check the box yes or no

L: LOL Which box did I get?

F: After a night like that, what do you think?

L: It was amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you

F: A TRIPLE thank you?

L: Yes! And I can't wait for more

F: Ditto

L: Is it okay that I want you all to myself?

F: Yes, I don't like to share either. Remember, I'm an only child

L: Good! We're official. Now all the crazy girls will leave me alone because I'm taken ;)

No response came.

L: You still there?

F: Yeah

L: I just wanted you to know I don't want to see anyone else, just you

F: I think we might have made the record for fastest relationship ever

L: Are you complaining? :)

F: No

L: I'd like to make you dinner tonight at my place

F: Sounds wonderful

Her knock on his door couldn't have come any sooner. Beauty radiated from her, her skin bright pink, almost glowing, and her chocolate eyes gazing up at him as if he were the only person of importance in the world. Her petite stature made him want to scoop her up in his arms and protect her from anything that dare harm her. His lips had to feel hers, after which he took her coat and handed her a glass of red wine. He invited her to sit down on his brown L-shaped couch, then left her to go check on the Chicken Piccata.

He was proud of his apartment because it made him feel very adult. His furniture was nice, and the modern art on the walls gave him class. One of the best things about his apartment was the working fireplace. A big flat screen television to the left of it made for a perfect entertainment area. Behind the couch was a modern dining room table with four chairs.

He returned to her with his own glass of wine. "A toast..."

"To what?"

"To me being the luckiest bastard in the world." He lifted his glass to hers.

She laughed and clinked his glass before they both took a sip.

After another slow sip, nervousness arose in her. Her eyes evaded his. "Lucas, there's something I need to tell you."

He wanted to set her at ease, so he made a joke. "Oh no, you're not going to tell me you've escaped from the loony bin or something like that, are you? I knew this was too good to be true."

A sadness he hadn't expected came over her. She quickly took another sip of her wine. "No, nothing like that. I just wanted you to know..."

The distress in her eyes was pronounced and he had to make it stop. It physically hurt him to see her distraught. "Are you okay?" He took her wine and placed it on the coffee table next to his. "You look... grief-stricken. Did something happen?"

A tear escaped but she wiped it away quickly as a small smile left him confused. "I told you I'm sensitive... don't mind me. I'm just feeling a little... overwhelmed."

He wanted her full attention in the worst way, but her eyes avoided his.

Her misleading smile didn't fool him as she spoke, "I'm okay. Really. I don't know what this outburst of emotion is all about. I think I'm just really..."

His index finger raised her chin, compelling her to look directly in his eyes. "What?"

She paused and creased her brow. "I'm a muddled mixture of happy and tired and confused."

"Is it because of me... us?"

She nodded and hid her face behind her hands.

He knelt before her, wrapping her in a warm embrace. "I'm sorry."

He felt her head on his shoulder and she sank into his arms. "No, it's nothing to be sorry over."

He nestled his cheek next to hers sweetly. "Oh, Faith. I want you happy. I surely don't want to be the source of tears. What can I do?"

She shook her head slowly, closing her eyes. "I am happy, believe me."

His forehead went to hers. "I know we jumped the gun a little bit."

"A little bit?" she asked with a laugh.

"Okay, a lot. But that doesn't mean we can't make this work. I want us to work."

She looked deep in his eyes. "I want us to work, too."

He placed both his hands on her cheeks. "Good, then it's going to work."

She nodded and smiled at him.

"You are truly amazing."

She snickered. "You barely know me. You know my body, but you don't really know me."

Her words of doubt didn't change anything for him. Wanting her to stop overthinking, he decided to distract her. His lips were a proven method. "I know what I need to know, Faith." His lips touched hers briefly. "You're beautiful." He kissed her again. "You're intelligent." A slightly deeper kiss. "You make me laugh and smile." This time he just kissed her bottom lip. "I think about you constantly." His tongue dipped into her mouth briefly and he felt himself become fully aroused. "My body aches for yours when you're not around."

Her eyes opened and her face became serious.

His hands went under her rear and he pulled her to him, his torso between her legs.

"You're making me want to skip dinner again."

"Dinner can wait. But this... this passion between us, I don't think there is any holding it back." His lips went to hers.

She invested fully, closing her eyes as their kiss deepened. Her mouth tasted like sugar and he hadn't had near enough sweets to stave off his craving for her.

He stood quickly, holding her to him, heading to the bed. "I don't know what it is, but when I need you... I need you. I've never felt anything like this before." He lay her down, grinding into her forcefully. Foreplay was a formality his body didn't have time for, so his hands began to shed the necessary clothing immediately. First her jeans, then his own, along with his boxer briefs shoved down out of the way. "I've got to have you now," he said as he pushed her underwear to the side. "Right now." Even with very little prep-work, he was pleased to find her perfectly ready for him. He knew then that she was just as hot for him as he was for her.

She stopped him with one word. "Condom."

"Damn it," he replied, knowing he would have to wait just a few moments longer. He returned to her and took her fiercely, loving the sound of her pleasure as he thrust with no plans of letting up anytime soon.

"You're mine!" He was staking his claim. "And I don't share. I'll never share this; it's far too sweet and perfect. It's mine. Damn it! You feel incredible." Her body was fine, C cup breasts and an ass perfect for grabbing. Her tight shave was an immense turn on as well as her full, womanly thighs, not skinny... perfect. Nothing felt better than being in the seam of those thighs, hip to hip, closer than he ever wanted to get to anyone again.

He dove in deeper and deeper with one thing in mind... hearing her exclaim something, anything. Finally, it began to happen and his soul soared. She had been so quiet through the whole session, but her burst of pleasure created emphatic mutterings, which made him beam. It also gave him permission to erupt, which he did stretching it out long and fiercely. One word came to mind... incredible.

His wits came about him as he studied her.

A crooked grin struck her face. "I guess you weren't lying when you said you were passionate... and I guess you like to talk during too."

He hung his head, slightly rattled by her tease. "What can I say, you make me... enthusiastic."

A laugh burst from her.

"Would you prefer less gab and more tongue?" he asked, wanting her to laugh that way again.

She grinned. "I'm good with either. It's all sexy."

"Good." His lips went to hers again and they began to kiss once more. Soon he slowed. "I suppose I better feed you now."

She nodded.

Dinner was good and the conversation even better. However, nothing could stop them from ending up in bed again shortly after the dishes were done. He ended up owing her another pair of underwear. And she liked the good stuff, so this relationship might start to get expensive if he couldn't figure out how to control himself.

TUESDAY, DAY 5

F: Happy Birthday, Lucas :)

L: Thank you

F: I made you a cake, come over after work?

L: But you already gave me my cake this morning ;)

F: I guess you're the kind of guy that gets to have his cake and eat it too, lucky boy

L: LOL

She liked making him laugh.

L: I actually have plans tonight already, sorry :(

It was like a dagger in her heart. Ugh. He had plans... without her. Of course, it was his birthday and he did have a life before she entered it, but... ugh.

I can't be weird about this, not after my little jealous fit over the comment Mira left on his wall. Show strength, Faith.

L: It's a work thing

F: Okay

L: I am also going to my mom's this weekend

Ugh. Another stab. Getting along without him one night, fine... but the whole weekend? Sadness overcame her.

F: Okay

L: Would you like to go with me or is that too fast

F: Too fast? Really? Did you just say that?

L: Good point. So?

New places and new people made her extremely nervous, so her immediate thought was to decline. But the thought of spending the weekend without him created a knot in her chest she couldn't bear.

F: Sure

L: Good

F: You can come get your cake whenever you want

L: I like cake. Especially your cake ;)

Her heart fluttered at the thought of his body joining with hers.

F: And I thought it was the whatnot you liked

L: I like it all

He was definitely a man. He said he was a decent man, but that remained to be seen.

L: See you tomorrow?

F: If you're lucky

L: I hope I'm lucky. I hope I'm REALLY REALLY lucky

F: Get back to work!

L: Yes dear xoxo

F: Have a fun night and a Happy Birthday

L: Thanks :)

There was an American Pickers marathon on that night, so at least she had something decent to watch. Her phone beeped around ten o'clock.

L: I miss you

She smiled, loving the way it felt to be missed by him.

F: That's your fault for going out without me

L: True

F: I miss you too

L: What part of me do you miss the most?

F: Tough choice. What part of me do you miss the most?

L: The sum is better than any one part

Her heart swooned as she physically put her hand over it.

F: I may have to kidnap you if you keep it up

L: You are the one who keeps "it" up

F: How romantic

L: Wish I could kiss you... and do other stuff to you

F: Like I said, your fault for going out without me

L: Trust me, I didn't want to

F: You had better stop ignoring your friends

L: Just wanted to say hi

F: Hi

L: Bye gorgeous

L: PS I love your ass. It's PERFECT!

And he was gone.

Since her phone was already in her hand, she decided to take a look at her Facebook news feed to see what her friends were up to.

Becky was having dinner at Ocho Rios.

Georgia was watching the American Pickers marathon--good woman.

Alethea was frustrated with her children for not wanting to go to bed.

Lucas had just been tagged in a few pictures... of him at a bar. First picture was of him doing a shot with a pretty brunette. The next was a picture of the same brunette with her arm around him with the words "Sexy birthday boy" written under it.

You miss me, huh? I can really tell. Happy freakin' birthday, asshole!

She closed the app, throwing her phone on the couch beside her. He really was the King of Bullshit.

WEDNESDAY, DAY 6

REALIZING THE GUY she was sleeping with was full of crap made her a bit moody. More angry with herself than anyone, she decided to focus on the one positive: she didn't have to stress over telling him about her mental disorder now. He was history, so it didn't matter.

Sitting at her work desk, she logged onto Facebook to see if there was anything else of interest on his wall. Two more pictures appeared. Lucas with a blonde sitting on his lap and last but not least, Lucas with the brunette and the blonde one at each cheek, kissing him. In a purely impulsive move, she went to her friend list, found him then clicked 'unfriend'. Quickly a prompt appeared. 'Are you sure you want to unfriend?' Yes, she was sure. Asshole.

Closing Facebook, work became her focus. He'd wasted enough of her time already, so there was no sense in pouting over it. Time to move on.

About an hour later, her phone beeped.

L: Hey, you there?

She ignored him.

A few minutes later, her phone began to ring. Lucas Anderson. Decline.

Another beep.

L: Please call me when you have a moment

She stared at the text message considering her options. Why couldn't he leave her alone? Ignore. Bye bye, jerk.

Done with work for the day, she went to the kitchen to find something to eat for dinner. A knock at her door made her roll her eyes. She contemplated not answering, but figured there was no reason to prolong the inevitable. Why not just get this uncomfortable goodbye over with once and for all. A look through the peephole confirmed it was Lucas.

She opened the door, ready to fight. "What?"

He lifted his brow. "Nice greeting."

"What do you want?" she asked rudely.

"I want to know why you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you."

He huffed. "Yeah, right. Can I come in?"

"No," she said plainly.

"I gotta be honest with you here; you're acting a little crazy."

She never liked it when anyone used that word around her, and to have him say it infuriated her all the more. "Maybe I am crazy... crazy for thinking you were actually a decent guy."

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "And what exactly have I done to disprove my decent guyedness?"

She was mad but that was just... funny. She tried not to laugh, even covered her mouth for a moment.

He looked so serious.

"Decent guyedness... really? I'm trying to be mad at you and you say something so... stupid. That is not even close to being a real word."

He smiled slightly. "Okay, so you're crazy and I'm stupid and neither of us has any self-control... we've clearly established we both have issues now."

Looking at the ceiling, her head shook. "Why are you here? Don't you have some other brunette or blonde to hang out with?"

He pointed at her. "I knew it. Stupid Facebook! First of all, I did not post those pictures, Leah did. Second of all, the brunette is just a friend and the blonde is my boss's wife. Totally innocent, believe me."

She took a deep breath and exhaled. "I just don't think this is going to work out, Lucas. I don't feel like I can trust you. I hardly even know you and... it just happened too damn fast."

"But don't you see how perfect we are together? Crazy and stupid... what could be better?" he said then smiled. And there was that sexy dimple.

She laughed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "You are kind of cute. I suppose I could try to overlook your stupidedidness."

A laugh burst from his lips.

"Fine, come in. But no cake for you."

He stepped inside as she closed the door. "I don't need cake."

"Yeah, right." Sarcasm poured from her as she walked over to her couch and sat down. "All men need cake."

Scooting as close to her as he could, pushing her down to the edge of the couch, he put his arm around her. "Did we just have our first fight?"

She giggled. "I guess we did."

He pretended to be exasperated. "Thank God that's over." He leaned his head back and looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. "I've decided something."

"What's that?"

"You're banned from Facebook."

She jabbed him in the ribs, which made him buckle slightly.

"Although, you are kind of sexy when you're mad."

She glared at him. "Oh, yeah?"

He leaned towards her slightly. "Yeah. And you are a little stubborn, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry." Leaning his way, they met in the middle, lips first.

He put his hand to the back of her head, pulling her closer to give her a better kiss. "Now we get to make up."

She smiled as they kissed then took a quick break. "I'm sorry." She went right back in for another.

"I forgive you, my little firecracker," he replied.

Quickly straddling his lap, the make-up commenced.

THURSDAY, DAY 7

GLAD TO SEE Faith had repaired her friendship and relationship status with him on Facebook, all appeared to be back to normal. Women sure were complicated! As much as feminine drama disinterested him, he knew he could and would tolerate it for Faith. Damn, she was fine. Glad he was sitting at his desk and not needing to head to a meeting anytime soon, he tried to calm his thoughts... and his erection. Memories of the way she had sucked him off that morning had him aroused. He never would have guessed how new at it she was. He could still feel her tongue stimulating the most sensitive part of his body.

F: Busy tonight?

L: Yep, busy hanging out with the most beautiful girl in the world, hopefully

F: Well, tell her I said hi

L: Say hi to yourself

F: Anyhow, want to go to the Little Bean tonight for music?

L: Will you be there?

F: Yes, dork

L: Then yes. What time?

F: Pick me up at 7:45?

L: I'll be there

He showed up an hour early, with a little something on his mind. He noted how willingly she headed to the bedroom, excited to be wanted by him. Damn it, she was sexy. She was tight, gripping him like a glove, hungry to be filled by him. Ugh... so eager to learn and please him. He positioned her legs right where he wanted them and hammered her. Damn, she was gratifying... warm, so wet, and luscious. Her fingers fisted his hair as he reminded her who she belonged to. "Mine. This body, these legs... it's all mine."

She ignited him further. "Yes! Yours and don't you ever forget it!"

Forget? Hell no... Never. I walk around hard for you all day long, woman.

With a freshly tousled look about her, she was able to put herself back together quickly after their horizontal diversion.

The Little Bean was a small coffee bar, but they found a table without issue. Lucas went for drinks while she sat saving their spot.

He took notice as a very handsome guy loudly called her name. Tall and thin with shoulder length brown hair, there was no denying it... he was attractive and Lucas felt threatened.

"I wasn't sure if I'd see you tonight," he heard from across the room.

Lucas watched them and found himself feeling something he hadn't expected at all... jealousy. Who was this guy who had his hands all over HIS girl? Like a new country, he wished he had his own flag so he could claim her for the world to see and know, her land was spoken for... by him. The republic of Lucas, a testosterone charged badass who didn't share. Especially terrain as magnificent as hers. Rolling hills and that deep lush valley... he had to stop thinking about it and focus on the man who appeared to want to visit that valley. Oh, hell no.

He saw them hug. My real estate.

Lucas returned to the table with their drinks and Faith looked up at him. "Hey... Lucas, this is my friend, Joshua. He is the one playing tonight." She looked at Joshua. "This is Lucas."

Joshua held his hand out. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." Lucas said then sat down next to his woman and scooted close to her. He took her hand in his. "How do you two know each other?"

"Oh, we go waaaaaay back. Small town, you know how it is." Joshua was smiling.

No, I don't know how it is, why don't you tell me?

"Well, I better go get ready. It was nice to meet you, Lucas." Joshua pointed at Faith. "Take good care of her, okay?"

Lucas chuckled to himself, wanting to poison this Fabio wanna-be with a glare. "Always."

Joshua leaned down to her, kissed her cheek, and whispered something in her ear. She smiled and simply replied, "Thank you."

Joshua stepped away and was gone.

As calmly and nonchalantly as he could, he asked, "What did he say in your ear?"

"It was nothing." She looked Lucas in the eyes with a smile that melted his core. Contentment flowed from her. She looked so proud. Leaning into him, she whispered, "If it were legal, I'd pleasure you right here. Would you choose oral or traditional?"

Instant erection. Damn it. He gave her a kiss. "Both."

She leaned into him again, putting her head in the crook of his neck. He slowly rubbed her back.

Her hand went to his leg and slowly crept up his thigh.

He had to close his eyes to keep his composure as her hand came to rest.

"Feeling a little stimulated, are we?" she asked with a grin.

"I may have been provoked by some comment about public oral."

She giggled then kissed his lips. Staying close, she spoke quietly, "I would totally do that for you."

Damn it. "You must not want to stay here long."

"Patience is a virtue, my dear."

"I sense I'll owe you another pair of underwear very soon."

She giggled again. "What's your count?"

"Three. I'll just give you some cash. Will thirty dollars do it?"

"No way... you're going shopping."

He glared at her. "Please don't make me do that."

"Look at it as an opportunity to buy a little something for yourself."

His devious mind began churning. "Thongs... edible... crotchless... paint-on... I guess I can get on board with this."

A laugh burst from her lips. "Not exactly what I had in mind."

He gripped her hair and pulled her lips to his, forcing her to kiss him. It was a caveman move, but he was feeling a bit primitive. He would have grunted loudly had he felt like it would win some favor, but he thought better of it.

While she appeared to be sitting there feeling the flutter of supposed love in the pit of her stomach, Lucas was sitting there wondering who this guy, this cute musician, was to her. She had only been with one other man sexually... in that moment he knew; it was Joshua. Of course. It made sense. She wouldn't have slept with just anyone; it had to be someone amazing. As the music started, Lucas found himself unable to relax or enjoy it. Glaring at this guy... the only other guy who had ever seen HIS woman naked. The only other guy to have meant enough to her for her to bed down with him. He felt sick to his stomach.

As uncomfortable as he was, he did a good job of pretending to be fine. Once in the car on the way home, he began to grill her.

"So, tell me again how you know that musician?"

"We went to high school together. And he took me to my senior prom."

Ah ha! Everyone knows guys expect to get laid on prom night... he certainly had. "I'm not sure I like him," Lucas said.

She gave him an odd stare. "Oh, I get it."

"What?" Lucas asked innocently.

"We're switching roles here, now you're crazy and I'm stupid."

"What are you talking about? No, I just didn't like him. He was... I dunno. And that one song... it was obviously about you... please. Could he be more in love with you?"

She laughed aloud. "You're jealous."

He felt mocked. "No!"

"It's okay. It's kind of nice. No one has ever been jealous for me before. Makes me feel... special."

"You are special, but I'm not jealous. I don't get jealous. But I was wondering... is he the other guy you slept with?"

She howled. "That is funny. NO!"

"Why is that funny?"

"It just is. He was the most popular guy in school and all the girls wanted him. He was nice to me but it wasn't romantic by any means. Unlike you, I'm not the all-American head-turner, especially back then. My high school experience sucked. People were mean to me." Her tone went somber. "People respected Joshua and he stood up for me, so... that's all. There is no need to be jealous of him. In fact, if you cared about me, you'd be thankful for him because he made my life bearable in a time when it was far from it." Her eyes were peering out the side window. The only way to describe her in that moment was brokenhearted.

I am such an asshole. I did that to her. I made her face look like that. Lucas settled slightly. "I do care about you, oh God... I do, Faith. And... I'm sorry." His voice quieted. "I guess I am a little jealous." He reached for her hand and she gave it to him with a soft expression he wanted to preserve. He kissed her hand, hoping to mend the damage he had done. "I've never been jealous before in my life. I'm sorry I didn't handle it very well. I guess I must like you or something."

"Or something. It must be the cake."

"Or the whatnot." He felt her squeeze his hand and it was comforting.

"Some good whatnot is bound to bring up surprising emotions." She grinned at him.

He parked in her lot and held the steering wheel with both hands. She thinks all I care about is sex. "Faith..."

"Yeah."

He turned his head towards her. "I... like you."

That was lame, Lucas. What girl wants to hear that? You freaking nail her constantly and that's all you have? You like her? Idiot.

"What I mean is­--"

"Stop," she interrupted him, bringing her lips to his quickly. "I know. You don't need to say it. I like you too." Her head nodded as if to tell him it was all okay.

Damn it. I do like her... so freakin' much. God, I hope I don't screw this up.

FRIDAY, DAY 8

NERVOUS ABOUT SPENDING the weekend at his mother's house? Angst-ridden was more like it. She got one of her classic you're-stressing-out-and-not-taking-care-of-yourself headaches, which came along with her mental disorder. Getting it under control was her goal for the morning, because if she couldn't manage to stop it, there was no way she could go along with him. He needed to know the truth about her brain but she was terrified. What if everything changed?

Just make it through the weekend, Faith. Get through this and then you can tell him everything.

He drove and they left right after work. Three hours in the car gave her lots of time to torment herself about how strange and uncomfortable the whole weekend would be. She didn't want him to know just how nervous she was, so she pretended all was well. She wanted to make sure he saw her as strong.

After an hour, he made a confession. "Okay, so there are a few things I need to tell you about my mother."

"Uh oh. This doesn't sound good." Uneasy, she took a deep breath.

"Well, she is... a little... overwhelming."

"Overwhelming? What exactly does that mean?"

He squinted. "Difficult. Hard to please."

"You could have told me this before I agreed to come with you, you know that, right?"

Laughing it off, he grinned, proud of himself. "Of course. But you would have said no."

"So you're lying to me already... good job, Lucas... good job! Okay, lay it on me. I want to be prepared."

"Well, she isn't very... friendly."

Faith laughed a fake laugh. "Oh, great! Just the type of person I love to be around; difficult, hard to please, and mean."

"She is an old school Catholic, so I guarantee we will be in separate bedrooms. She is very... set in her ways and might not be too thrilled with me bringing someone home who I just met."

"Is it too late for me to change my mind and have you take me back home?"

Lucas laughed. "Yes. I'm not stupid... I wasn't about to tell you all this before it was too late. Are you nuts?"

Panic smacked her hard as the inside of the truck began to cave in on her. Everything blurred. He had to be set straight immediately. "Look... there are some things you don't know about me."

"I'm sure there are a lot of things I don't know about you." He seemed to find it all very funny.

Dizziness made her tone tighten up. "Stop it. I'm being serious. I need you to take me seriously."

Instantly, he took her at her word. "Okay, I'm sorry."

She took a deep breath. "I have some serious anxiety issues and what you're describing to me is freaking me out. I really wish you had told me before we left."

"Faith... I'm so sorry."

She took another deep breath and exhaled, and then another.

"What can I do?"

"Take me home?" She felt like she might cry.

"Okay, I will. If that's what you want. I don't want you to be upset or overwhelmed. I'm really sorry."

Closing her eyes, thoughts swarmed her. Maybe she could do it. "No. It's okay. I'll suck it up and do it."

"I don't mind taking you back... really." He pulled to the side of the road. His eyes turned to her with remorse. "I truly am sorry."

She looked into his eyes and saw how sincere he was. After another deep breath, her decision was made. "You know, it's okay. I'll be okay. Just do me a favor."

"What? Anything."

"You said you were protective, right?"

"Yes. To an annoying fault, or so I have been told."

"I know you don't know me well, and you've known your mother forever... but I need you to protect me. I mean it. If you want me to come with you, you have to promise me you'll..."

He took his seat belt off and went to her with a hug, interrupting, "I promise."

She held him tightly. "I don't want you to think I'm some weakling. I'm not... I can hold my own fine. I just can't control my anxiety. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm the one who is sorry. I promise I will take care of you."

She took another deep breath as he released her fully. "Okay then, let's go."

"Are you sure?" he asked sincerely.

"Yes."

He paused for a moment before getting back on the road. "You're sure?"

"Yes."

He reluctantly went forward. His hand reached for hers as she spoke, "Why don't you tell me some more about how it's going to be, so I can be more prepared."

"Okay. If that will help." He kissed her fingers.

"It will."

"My mother is very wealthy and a straight up snob. I'm not gonna lie... she is intimidating, but not to me. I can handle her fine so just let me deal with her. She will make us stay apart though. There is nothing I can do about that."

"That's okay, I can handle that."

"She is a devout Catholic. We never missed a Sunday of church even when we were on vacation, yet she divorced my father and remarried only months later. It always confused me. I suppose it kind of makes sense though."

"How so?"

"My mother got pregnant in high school. Her parents wanted her to have an abortion, and she almost did, but the father of the baby talked her into keeping it at the last minute. That's how I came into the world. An unwanted teen pregnancy, which almost got terminated. My dad fought for me and they got married very young. I don't suppose she ever really wanted to be with him."

There were many layers to him. So much more than a hot body that was good in the sack.

"That's why I'm a very firm pro-lifer. I don't feel there is ever a good reason for an abortion, even in the case of rape. God creates life and it's God's job to end it as well. End of story. I am living proof that a mistake is not a mistake."

She could hear the passion in his voice. "You sound like you might be a little mad at your mom over it still."

He had to think. "Maybe. I never really thought about it. Getting upset with her is a waste of time though. Nothing bothers her. The only time I've ever seen her cry was at my father's funeral and I think it was just from guilt. She was horrible to him and all he ever wanted to do was love her."

"How did your father die?"

"He was in an accident driving home from work. Drunk driver hit him head on."

"I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "I didn't know him all that well. The divorce was hard for him and us kids, we just reminded him of what he had lost. He became very distant in my teen years and then I got too wrapped up in my own selfish existence to work on the relationship."

"I'm sorry." It was all she could think to say.

"As for my mom, she might very well be a stuck up prude, but she has a good heart underneath her hard exterior. Stan, my stepfather, died from a heart attack only three years after they got married. She basically raised my sister and me alone, but life is a lot easier when you have unlimited funds."

"Lucas."

"Yes," he replied, looking at her.

"I'm glad your dad fought for you. I'm really glad." She meant it with all her heart.

"Thanks." Eyes back at the road he had something on his mind. "I... I've never..." He paused as his knuckles turned white from gripping the steering wheel. "I've never felt this way before, Faith." He peeked at her quickly. "About anyone. You're... different. Really special to me."

You have no idea how different I really am.

"When I said I liked you last night, what I meant was... I really, really, really like you... a lot."

Her heart felt like a helium balloon on a string. "Pull over."

He peeked over at her.

She said it again as she unbuckled her seatbelt. "You better pull over, 'cause I'm about to kiss you and I don't want you to wreck this perfectly good vehicle."

His brakes engaged as the truck headed to the side of the road. She felt the full halt just a moment before her lips made it to his. His arms pulled her to him as his mouth fully engaged with hers. She crawled over to him as he reached down and moved his seat all the way back to give her room. She straddled him and could tell immediately, he wanted her. He was all man, and it felt amazing. She separated their mouths and bit her lip, settling her body down into his lap to enjoy what he had. "I'm not sure if you can tell, but I like you too. A lot. And since I'm not going to be able to crawl all over you the way I want to this weekend, maybe we should snag this little moment... and make it count."

He pointed to the dash. "Can you hand me my wallet?"

Her brow creased. "You don't have to pay me."

"No," he chuckled. "If we're really going to do this, there's something we need in there."

"Oh, we're doing it." She handed it to him then felt his warm hands on their way up her long skirt.

"Don't you dare rip those off!" she warned him. "Not only are they my favorites, I am NOT walking into your mother's house without underwear on."

"Fair enough."

They arrived just after 8:00 p.m.

"Don't worry. Everything will be fine. I promise." He leaned over into her space to give her a kiss. "I will take good care of you."

She nodded with a smile.

The white house was huge with large pillars at the entrance. The giant red door was intimidating to her, but when she stepped inside and saw the entryway with the grand stairway, she about fainted. She hadn't imagined this much wealth. He held her hand tightly, walking right beside her.

His mother came towards them, dressed like she was going to a dinner party. She had perfectly done makeup and hair as well as long, pointy fingernails, which looked freshly painted. She walked with a smooth glide as she called out to her son. "Lucas... I'm so glad you are here. I had to see my baby boy for his birthday." She kissed his cheek and hugged him.

Faith stood there not knowing what to say or do, so she just waited for Lucas to introduce her.

"Mother, I'd like you to meet Faith. Faith, this is my mom, Muriel Anderson."

Muriel, even her name was pretentious. Faith smiled kindly. "Hi, Mrs. Anderson, it's nice to meet you."

His mother gave her a fake hug. "Hello, dear, just call me Muriel." Muriel looked back at her son. "We were holding dinner for you so why don't we head on into the dining room and get on with it."

"Fine, Mother." Lucas took Faith's hand in his and followed in line behind his mom.

Faith looked at him and mouthed the words, "Oh my God."

His eyes got big and he shrugged at her.

His mother turned and they both smiled at her.

Once in the dining room, they realized this wasn't just a regular dinner. No, his mother had invited half the neighborhood. She went around making introductions then showed Faith and Lucas where to sit. Lucas pulled Faith's chair out for her and tucked it in under her as she sat. Taking the seat next to her, he grabbed her hand underneath the table.

Faith looked at the place setting in front of her and was dumbfounded. Why the heck does anyone need four forks? "I don't belong here," she whispered to him.

He whispered back, "Neither do I." They both laughed a little.

Dinner dragged on, five courses plus dessert. Most of the conversation was between Muriel and her friends, or Muriel bragging about her son's accomplishments. Occasionally, she would ask Faith a question, but for the most part, she didn't seem interested in her son's new friend.

After dinner, Lucas excused both of them to go get settled in their rooms. Farewells were uttered, then he led her out of the fanciest formal dining room she had ever seen.

Once out of everyone's sight, she slapped his arm as hard as she could. "What the hell are you doing to me?"

He ducked slightly and laughed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know she was going to have a big party."

Faith looped her arm around his. "Don't you dare leave me alone with her. She frightens me."

"I made you a promise and I intend to keep it."

"You'd better, or you won't be getting any action for a long while."

"You can't withhold yourself from me... admit it, you want it as much as I do."

She grinned at him. He was right, completely.

Just then, his mother called them from behind. "Darling, you'll be staying in the blue room. You can show Faith to the yellow room." "Got it," Lucas replied, continuing with Faith on his arm.

Her room was across the hall from his. Feeling petrified, she didn't want to be away from him at all in this situation. He dropped his bag in his room then came to hers and plopped down on the bed. His eyes were watching her closely. "I'm so sorry."

His mother showed up in the doorway. "Lucas, darling, have I not taught you proper manners? It is inappropriate for you to lounge on a lady's bed. Get up from there this instant."

Faith's eyes got big, laughing at him with her eyes.

"Mom, you need to relax. Not everyone needs to have a stick up their butt."

She gasped. "Lucas!"

He smiled, stood up, and walked over to his mom, kissing her on the cheek. "Seriously, relax." He went back to the bed and lounged again. He motioned for Faith to come sit next to him so she did. He took her hand immediately.

Muriel walked in slowly, looking right at Faith. "Is it true you have only known my son for seven days?"

"Eight. Today makes eight."

"Seven, eight... what's the difference?" Muriel asked.

Faith looked up at the ceiling as Lucas answered sarcastically, "Twenty-four hours, that's the difference, Mother."

"Nobody likes a smartass, Lucas!"

"Faith does. She likes me just fine."

Faith shoved him slightly, not sure why he was antagonizing his mother.

"That is charming, Lucas." Muriel looked at Faith. "I hope he doesn't have such a smart mouth with you, dear."

"No. He's a perfect gentleman."

"Good to know." Muriel looked at Lucas. "Is that true? Are you being a perfect gentleman?"

"Mostly."

Faith shoved him again.

"Mostly is not how I raised you. You can do better than that, my boy."

Faith interjected, "He is wonderful, Mrs. Anderson. You did an excellent job raising him."

"And you know this after a whole eight days! Wow. That means so much to me."

"She's just grumpy from the stick up her..."

"Lucas!"

He laughed. "I'm sorry, Mom. I shouldn't make fun of your condition. I know you have worked hard to get it in just the right place."

Faith glared, but he ignored it and kissed her hand. "Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?"

Faith found it odd for him to say such a thing right in front of his mother. With a flat tone, she responded, "Thank you." This was a very strange dynamic for sure. "Have I told you how odd you are acting lately?"

"Oh, this is normal for us... isn't it, Mother?"

"Unfortunately, it is." Muriel didn't seem amused.

Faith nodded slowly. "All righty then."

Lucas fiddled with Faith's hand. "I like to give her a hard time. Everyone else is way too easy on her. And she likes to think she can intimidate me... but she can't."

"I am standing right here, Lucas." Muriel seemed offended. "Do you see what I have to put up with, Faith?"

Faith did not want to be in the middle of this discussion. "I would love to be pointed in the direction of the bathroom, please."

Lucas scooted to the side of the bed preparing to stand up. "Come on. I'll show you." He went to his feet and pulled her up. "Excuse us, Mother."

"Lucas, I expect you to behave while you are here."

"What am I, a five-year-old?"

"I think you know what I mean. No funny stuff. You know how I feel about that."

"Oh... you mean sex."

Muriel's eyes widened.

Lucas began to leave the room with Faith's hand in his. "I know, Mother. No need to remind me."

Once out in the hallway, Faith shoved him again. "What the hell are you doing? Trying to make her mad?"

"No... okay, maybe a little."

"Is that why you brought me? To tick her off?"

"No!" he said quickly. "I brought you because I didn't want to spend the weekend without you." He flipped the light on in the bathroom. "I don't know if you know this... but I'm quite fond of you."

"I did get the double thank you, didn't I?"

"You did. And a triple." His hand went to the back of her head, pulling her lips to his gently. "I'll be in your room waiting for you."

Needing comfort, she snuggled into him and inhaled his amazing scent. "Thank you, Lucas."

"For what?"

Their eyes connected. "For everything. You are really good to me."

"You're really good to me too."

Muriel's disapproving voice boomed. "Isn't that special! A whole eight days and you two are acting like it's been years. Don't get me wrong. It's touching, but it's also a bit ridiculous."

"Be quiet, Mother." Lucas spoke loudly as he sheltered Faith in his arms, "We're happy. Every relationship starts somewhere. This is our somewhere and we like it."

"Why can't you be more realistic?"

Her heart didn't like the way this felt. Scared his mother was going to influence him away. As if he knew exactly what she was thinking at that very moment, he took her face in his hands and looked her square in the eyes. "Listen to me. You don't need to worry. You go ahead while I take care of the mother problem."

How did he know what I needed from him? She nodded then went into the bathroom and closed the door. She looked in the mirror. What am I doing? This is all wrong. His mother is right, he is too good for me and I don't fit in here at all. She hung her head sadly. Just then, she remembered his words from earlier that day. 'I've never felt this way before... about anyone... you're different... really special to me...' Stop overthinking, Faith. Just enjoy him.

She could hear them talking from the hallway and stopped for a listen.

"I would really appreciate it if you would be nice to her, Mother. She is very sweet and sensitive."

"She is awfully attached to you, don't you think?"

"Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe I'm the one attached to her. If you feel the need to be judgmental and unkind, please, direct it towards me... not her."

"Lucas the protector. Just like your father."

"Lucky for me."

"You know I love you, Lucas. Don't pretend to be offended by the past."

"Whatever, Mother."

"So what are your intentions with this young lady you brought home with you? Surely you cannot be serious about this. Did you perhaps bring her just to ruffle your mother's feathers?"

"I am not that cruel. Of course bringing someone I like here is turning out to be cruel as well. Sort of a rock and a hard place situation. Can you please at least try to be nice? For me?"

"She isn't right for you."

"You don't know her."

"Neither do you."

Faith decided it was time to stop eavesdropping and headed back in. "You're right, Mrs. Anderson. We don't know each other very well." She went to Lucas and sat down next to him. "I understand your apprehension..."

"I don't think you do, dear." Muriel's voice was annoyed. "Lucas is my pride and joy."

He looked at Faith. "That's why she wanted to terminate me."

"Lucas! That is uncalled for!"

He looked at her. "Well, it's true."

Muriel huffed. "As I was saying, Lucas is my pride and joy and I don't want him cutting himself short. He has so much potential yet lacks the confidence to bring it out."

Faith spoke up, "I find him to be very confident. More so than anyone I know."

He looked at her with a proud smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Perhaps you don't know the right people, Faith." Muriel squinted.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Faith sounded offended, because she was.

Lucas took her hand. "You're not snobby enough."

"Ha ha." Muriel crossed her arms. "I think I am going to call it a night. I expect you two will adhere to my rules and not cavort."

"I wouldn't dream of cavorting, Mother."

"All right then. Goodnight to you both. See you in the morning." She started out of the room and turned back. "I want this door open as long as you are in here, Lucas."

He went to her and kissed her on the cheek. "Goodnight."

She smiled at him. "You're a good boy."

"Uh huh. Sleep well." Muriel left and he immediately closed the door and locked it.

Faith laughed quietly, hearing his mother shout his name. "Oh my," Faith said. "You're breaking the rules. You bad boy."

"Yup," he said and then went to her, quickly wrapping his arms around her. "I need to cavort!" He kissed the side of her face then became serious. "How are you doing?"

She grabbed on tight. "I'm good."

He kissed her hair. "Sorry she is so..."

"Mean? Strict? Insensitive?"

"Yes... to all of that." He looked in her eyes.

"There is a word that starts with a 'b' that would work well, but she is your mother and I don't want to offend you. How in the world did you come from that?"

"I am my father."

"I would have liked him."

"Yes, you would have."

Faith looked down at her hands. "Your mother doesn't like me very much."

He put his hand on the side of her face gently. "Don't take it personally. She doesn't like anyone. It was selfish of me to bring you here. I'm sorry."

"Selfish?"

He dropped his hand down and touched her leg. "Yes. I wanted to be with you so bad that I didn't think it through."

Faith was touched. "Well, that was the only reason I said yes. I didn't want to be without you."

"We're pathetic, aren't we?" he asked with a laugh.

She leaned in, kissing his lips lightly. "Maybe a little. But if I'm going to be pathetic with someone, I'm glad it's with you."

SATURDAY, DAY 9

LUCAS HAD THE mind to sneak into Faith's room to have his way with her at least fifteen different times during the night but decided to respect his mother's wishes instead. He got up early to work out in his mother's small indoor gym. After his shower, he texted Faith to wake her.

L: Rise and shine, beautiful

F: Good morning

L: Miss me last night?

F: YES

L: Me too. I'm going down for breakfast, get ready and join me

F: Will do

"I didn't appreciate you closing that door in my face last night, Lucas."

"Good morning to you too, Mother." He headed for the coffee. "Don't worry. There was no cavorting. I do know how to abide by your rules, even when I don't like them."

She sat down on a stool. "You should not be having sex outside of marriage, Lucas. God doesn't approve of it. There is a reason He specifies sex is for the married."

Lucas poured his coffee, feeling the weight of judgment. Not just judgment, he felt conviction, knowing his mother was speaking the truth. Even so, he didn't want to give her any type of upper hand. "If I recall correctly, I graduated high school without spawning a child. Some people in this room can't say the same of themselves." He leaned against the counter and sipped.

She glared at him. "No, your mother is not perfect, but is it so bad that I want better for you? Should you not learn from my mistakes?"

"Great, I'm a mistake."

"You know that is not what I meant." After a short pause, it began. "You can do so much better than... that girl."

He rolled his eyes. "And what exactly is wrong with her?"

"It's not necessarily her, it's her type."

"And what 'type' is she?" His fingers quoted the stressed word.

Muriel thought prudently. "Common. She is just plain common. Nothing special."

Lucas's eyebrows rose. "That is a lovely thing to say, and quite Christian of you as well. I'm sure God appreciates you rating his creation so tenderly."

"Sometimes the truth is painful, Lucas. Even God realizes that. Remember the flood? All those people, done away with, wiped out... because they were nothing but common."

"God didn't flood the place to rid it of common folks. He did it to rid it of evil and give us a second chance. She's a good person, Mom. In fact, if there hadn't been a rainbow and God was going to do it all over again, I think she might make it on the boat."

"He wouldn't save a whore, Lucas."

His chest burned as he came to terms with the fact his mother called the woman he cared about a whore. He went to the sink, throwing his coffee cup down.

Muriel jumped at the loud crashing of porcelain. Indignant, she spoke, "That was a thirty dollar demitasse, Lucas!"

Hands planted on the edge of the sink, he sighed. "What the hell is wrong with you? You find it necessary to use a fancy word for a simple mug but instead of calling the woman I care for by her proper name, you call her whore." He turned his eyes to his mother, disappointed. "I'm glad I'm so much more like my father. It would be a tragedy if there were two of you on this planet."

Just then Faith appeared.

Muriel and Lucas fell silent.

Faith lifted her brow and spoke honestly as she headed to the coffee, "I know you're talking about me. You don't have to stop on my behalf."

Protection. That was what he promised Faith and that was what she was going to get. Even if that meant leaving this place early. His eyes followed her and he felt his heart sink. Beautiful, kind, sensitive... she didn't deserve to be considered a whore, especially since she was the most innocent of all the women he had ever dated. If, for some reason, whore was an appropriate name for her, it was all his fault. He stopped her from getting her own coffee and stepped in, doing it for her.

Her soft smile made his heart sink a little further.

He kissed her lips before handing the cup of coffee to her. You're so important to me; please don't let my mother ruin this.

"Thank you. Just how I like it."

He winked at her.

"So, what was it you were discussing before I walked in that made you both hush up so quickly?" Her eyes locked on to Lucas's, and he felt exactly what she was conveying. Desire. They both grinned.

Ignoring, or unaware of their moment, Muriel spoke, "I was just telling Lucas that your little town of Fitchville doesn't have a lot of options for career advancement, nor does it have a large pool of influential people to..." She paused.

Faith's face showed offense.

In an effort to protect her, he changed the subject immediately. "What is on the schedule today, Mom?"

Muriel ignored his new topic. "There aren't a lot of options for..."

Faith finished for her. "People to date. Maybe that's why he's stuck with me right now. Nothing else good around." Faith patted Lucas's shoulder. "Sucks for you, buddy."

Deep inside, Lucas liked Faith's feistiness. Maybe she could hold her own with his mother... but he didn't want her to have to. He had to protect her better than this. "Well, then..."

His mother interrupted, "No, dear, that isn't what I was going to say. I was just going to point out the community there is limited. That's all."

Faith nodded her head slowly. "Let's do each other a favor and not pretend you like me. I can tell you don't think I'm good enough for your son. This may surprise you since you seem to think you're so... maaavellous daaling, but I'm just as uncomfortable being here as you are having me here."

Lucas was completely floored... and impressed. "I'm sorry, Faith..."

"No, it's okay." Faith looked at Muriel. "If you would like to ask me to leave, I would be happy to oblige and have your son drive me three hours back home. Only trouble is, I doubt he would want to turn around and come back, just to head out again tomorrow."

Muriel cleared her throat, obviously not wanting her son to leave. "Fine. I admit it. I don't approve of you two. I don't think this is a good match at all. Lucas was doing fine with Melissa and then... Fitchville happened and everything changed. Now he brings you home, a small town girl with nothing to offer him..."

Lucas was done. "She has plenty to offer me. And if you would stop being a stuck up bitch for five minutes, maybe you could see that. Melissa and I are over. Done. My life has moved on, and I'm with Faith now."

"You're with Faith now? You just met her! How do you know she isn't just after your money?"

He knew far better than that and rolled his eyes. "I'm not the one with the money. Besides, she didn't even know about your money until yesterday."

Muriel took a deep breath. "I don't want to argue with you..."

"No, you just want me to agree with you."

His mother huffed.

Faith's tone softened. "Look, I'm sorry for whatever I did that made you decide I'm undesirable. I'm here because I care about him, but I certainly don't want to be the cause of tension between you. Can we just maybe try to start over and give each other a chance?"

Muriel pressed her lips together, thinking. She lifted her head high. "Fine. I will try."

"Thank you."

Muriel turned to leave. "We are having lunch at the club today with some of your friends, Lucas. Make sure you are both dressed appropriately." She left.

Damn, that is my woman. She just put my mom in her place and lived to tell about it.

"I've never wanted to throw you down more than I do right now!"

She huffed. "I'm not a total weakling."

"No, you aren't. I never thought you were." He kissed the side of her head. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"I wish..."

"I know what you wish."

One brow went up. "Oh yeah? What?"

"You want to see me in my bikini. I know this place has to have a pool... an indoor pool."

Instant erection. "It does."

She stepped away from him and slowly pulled her shirt up over her head and tossed it at him.

His hands caught her shirt as he stood stunned by the minute string bikini. Holy hell. Her perfect, round, firm breasts were barely covered by those tiny scraps of fuchsia material. And her flat belly. I want to suck orange juice out of that belly button.

She smiled coyly as she began to take her pants off. "Do you think you're up for a swim?"

"Oh, I'm up," he said with a chuckle.

She threw her jeans at him.

Her hips, rear, and thighs looked delicious. She had a little meat on her, which was a total turn on. Skinny? No, that wasn't attractive to him. Boney girls made no sense, there was nothing to grab, nothing to hang on to. She was perfect.

She turned her back to him, giving him a nice view of her backside.

He stepped into her quickly from behind, pressing his body against hers, and wrapping his arms around her front.

"Oh, you are up." She laughed.

He pressed his hips into the back of her. "How much would a new bikini bottom cost me?" His hands cupped both her breasts. "Hell, what's the whole swimsuit cost?"

"This one, it was a hundred and fifty."

"For that tiny thing!"

She turned her head sideways. "And worth every penny judging from your reaction to it."

"It ain't the bikini that's got me worked up; it's what's inside it." His hands gripped her breasts firmly.

"Let's go swimming."

"I want to dive into something, but it's not the pool." He kissed her shoulder.

She separated from him and turned around, holding her index finger up. "No cavorting, Lucas."

"No coercing, Faith."

She got a kick out of it. "Go get your suit on."

"Tease..." he said as he brushed by her, sliding his palm against her breast again for good measure before slapping her rear, causing her to jump.

How the heck am I going to spend the day with her without being able to rip everything she wears off of her and slide my nakedness on her? All I have to do is think about her and I'm hard as a rock. It's painful. It's torturous. It's unbelievable.

As he changed into his swim trunks, he considered relieving himself from the tension that was building up. It had been less than twenty-four hours since they'd had sex, but it felt like days... weeks. Being a man was frustrating sometimes. Visual stimulation made things happen inside him he had no control over. And Faith, well, forget it. Everything about her was visually stimulating to him, right down to her petite pinky toe. No, her pinky toenail. It was currently painted pink.

What the hell is wrong with me? I should not know that! Why does she have me so... whipped. I've never been whipped before. I don't think it's the sex, because Melissa and I were great in the sack but... then again, no one has ever done me the way Faith does. Ugh... I want her so bad right now. I need her... I need relief or I'm going to die a slow, painful death.

She was waiting for him in the living room, with a towel wrapped around her. "What took you so long?"

He glared at her. "You're killing me. You know that, right?"

"You poor baby."

He took her hand in his. "You have no idea what it's like to be a man."

"And I don't want to know!"

After swimming in the pool for a while, they decided to soak in the hot tub together. Her long brown hair looked so smooth when it was wet, and her eyes shimmered as they reflected the slight waves in the water. Sitting across from him, she was admiring him and he liked the way it felt.

"What's on your mind, Quinn?"

"Just curious how many girlfriends you have at the gym. I imagine you're quite popular."

He felt his cheeks heat a little. "Nah. No girlfriends at the gym. The gym is for working out, not socializing."

"I bet some pretty girls there disagree with you. I better be careful, one might steal you away from me."

He slowly floated over to her, invading her space. "The only pretty girl I'm interested in is you, so no need to worry." He brought his lips to hers and kissed her, feeling her arms wrap around his neck and shoulders then felt her thighs float past his sides, hugging tightly to him.

"What kind of exercises do you have to do to keep that fine looking chest in order?"

He felt her hand run over his pecs, pausing at his nipples, running her finger around the rim. Damn it... erection.

Her eyes brightened immediately. "You like that, huh?"

"You are seriously... killing me."

She settled into his lips and lightly bit his bottom lip.

He felt her grind into him and he immediately groaned. "You're enjoying torturing me, aren't you?"

"Maybe a little."

He took a deep breath.

I can't kiss her, no... not the way I want to, because if I do, I'm not going to be able to stop myself from ripping that bikini bottom right in two. Get her talking. Women like to talk. Yes... that's it.

"Do you have any good friends in Fitchville?" he asked.

Her arms released him but her thighs held on. She separated her chest from his and looked down into the water wistfully. She shook her head but said nothing.

"Hey," he said, hand to her cheek.

Her eyes met his.

"You okay?"

Nodding, she bit her lip. "I told you. I'm not very social. I'm not like you, Lucas. You're confident and gorgeous and could have anyone you wanted. Your mom is right. I'm common."

A pang of agony pierced his heart as he realized Faith had overheard his conversation with his mother. His hand went to the side of her head and ran down her hair slowly. "No. You're wrong. She's wrong. You're anything but common... you're exceptional."

She smiled ever so slightly, as if to thank him for attempting to appease her. Both her hands went to his chest, feeling his muscles. "I had a best friend once." Her eyes connected with his. "But that was a long time ago and we don't need to talk about that. It's not a happy story."

"Maybe I can be your best friend."

Her chin leaned towards his with a smile. "I was kinda hoping you'd want to stay my lover."

"Can't I be both?"

Her face went serious. "Yeah, I guess it does work like that for some people. Friends and lovers."

"I want to know everything about you, Faith. I want to know all about the things that make you happy and learn what makes your face look the way it does right now so I can eliminate it." His heart ached at the sight of her suffering, as slight as it was.

"You're very sweet. But don't forget something important."

"What's that?"

"There's a lot you don't know about me... and some of it might change how you think you feel."

He couldn't imagine one single thing that would change what his heart felt, so he shook his head. "Not gonna happen."

She laughed, seeming amused by his confidence. "Tell me this... have you ever been rejected by a woman you wanted?"

Now this was an interesting question. It took a little while for him to search his mind and finally he had to admit the truth. "No. I haven't."

"And that, my friend, is why you are exceptional and I am common."

"I have two words for you. Bull. Shit."

She giggled as she threw her head back.

It was right there in front of him so he had to take advantage of it. He placed his face to her cleavage and let his lips kiss and his tongue lick. Another erection.

She squeezed him with her thighs, rubbing against him again.

The tension in him built all the more as his lips went to the crook of her neck. He began sucking, wanting to leave his mark on her.

She pulled away from his suction. "Just what I need, a giant hickey on my neck to prove to your mother what a whore I am."

"I'm so sorry you overheard that. What I really mean is I'm sorry she said it. You're not common and you're not a whore."

A smirk began slowly. "You're a lucky man, Lucas Anderson. You've got yourself a common whore as a friend and lover. Guess that explains why you're getting laid so often."

They both laughed.

"I'm not getting laid near often enough for my liking... at least in the last twenty-four hours."

"Well, perhaps if you paid better..."

He went after her quickly, tickling and making her laugh as she splashed him.

It was time to get ready for lunch at the club. He saw her heading into the bathroom to ready herself. All the frustration and built-up angst from being around her sexy body and not being able to invade it made him follow her. He pushed his way in quickly then closed the door quietly behind him. He held his finger up to his mouth. "Shhhh." His hands on her hips, he walked her backwards slightly.

"You wouldn't be having naughty thoughts, would you?"

Naughty? How about completely obscene. He backed her against the bathroom counter. "Me? No, never." His body pushed up against her and he finally kissed her the way he had been wanting to.

She put her hands on the counter and pushed herself up, then spread her legs, inviting him between them. He pressed in firmly as his tongue tasted her. Sugar. Still sugar.

"What would your mother say?"

He laughed. "I can't even imagine." Quickly they were overly heated. "I just need to warn you, if you don't have a condom in that little bag of yours, I'm not going to get one. You're just going to have to deal with stupidity because I'm not waiting a second longer than I have to." The thought of going in bare excited him all the more. He in no way wanted to get her pregnant, but for the first time in his life he was turned on by the thought of this particular woman carrying his child.

"I guess we have to be stupid then. But..."

"But nothing. I'll deal with whatever happens. I need you now." He was about to start removing her bikini bottom when the door flew open and in walked Muriel.

"Lucas Brandon Anderson!" she shouted.

Oh, crap. Their kisses stopped and he stood with a very annoyed look on his face. Faith didn't move. He turned his face towards his mother. "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"You will not fornicate in MY house!"

He heard Faith holding in a laugh.

Lucas put his hands on the counter. "Mother, I am an adult. Twenty-nine years old to be exact."

"Then why are you acting like a horny teenage boy?"

Faith whispered, "She kind of has you there."

He smiled at her, loving how she was finding humor in it all and whispered back, "Shhh. You're not helping."

He stood upright as Faith slid off the counter and stood next to him.

Muriel said, "Is this the kind of lady you choose to spend your time with? One who will allow you manhandling her after only knowing you for a few days? Have you no pride?"

Another harsh insult about the woman he had promised to protect coupled with his physical annoyance over not being able to roll around on her at will made him bring this visit to its bitter end. "That's it, we're leaving. You have been nothing but unkind to Faith since we arrived and I've had it. I don't care what you think." He took Faith's hand and pushed his way past his mother into the hallway. He looked at Faith. "Get your stuff, we're leaving."

Faith went into her room and closed the door.

Muriel followed him as he threw his things in his bag. She was begging him not to go, trying to convince him of Faith's unworthiness. She brought Melissa up again and tried to prove to him that Melissa was more his type.

Back in the hallway, he took Faith's hand in his. "I'm sorry, Mom. I love you, but you really need to relax. I'm a big boy now and I think I can make up my own mind about whom I want to be with. I'll give you a few days to cool off and then I'll call." He kissed Muriel's cheek quickly then led Faith down the hall and down the stairs.

"That went well," Faith said as she buckled her seatbelt.

"Yeah, it was great. Wish I had a video." He peeked over at her only to find her head resting backwards and her eyes closed. Her lips turned down. There's that look I can't bear. "It's not your fault."

Her eyes opened and she spoke softly, "I know. She's kind of a bitch. No offense."

It made him laugh.

Yep. You nailed it. And I can't wait to nail you.

The minute their bodies were through the threshold of his apartment his hands went on her. Unable to wait a second longer, he picked her up and carried her to his room. He stripped her down quickly and took a good, long look at her flesh... head to toe. "Damn, you are fine." He stood next to the bed taking his own clothes off as he stared at her. "I'm going to enjoy the hell out of you."

"Stop talking and come do it!"

You won't get an argument from me, little lady. Dropping his last piece of clothing, he went to her with a deep kiss. Relief spread throughout his body as he knew there was nothing to stop him. One of his favorite feelings was his chest pressing against hers, spreading the fullness of her breasts out. He felt her hands on his back and her legs wrap around him; warm and inviting.

She spoke quietly, "Lucas, I'm sorry."

Everything in him paused and he raised himself. "For what?"

Her eyes were sad. "For not being who she thinks I should be."

Damn that mother of mine for making her face look that way.

"No, you're exactly who you need to be..."

Give her more than that. She deserves more than that... give her the truth! You know it's true so just say it!

"You are exactly who you need to be and..."

Say it, who cares if she doesn't say it back!

"I love you just the way you are."

She bit her lip with wonder in her eyes.

He leaned his lips down to hers. "That's right, I said it. I love you."

"I think you lust me," she replied.

"That too, but... I do love you. I know it sounds crazy but I can't help how I feel."

"Make love to me before my heart breaks at the distance between us."

That was exactly the way he felt... his heart might break soon if he didn't fulfill his need for her.

Damn it. I do love her. Completely. So much, if I knock her up... I'd be glad she is stuck with me. I'm insane.

SUNDAY, DAY 10

A HEADACHE. THE KIND that was sure to end bad. He was sleeping so soundly and after the weekend they'd had, she knew exactly why. It had been stressful in a way she hadn't expected. Confusion swarmed her as dizziness began to close in.

I don't want him to see me like this. I need to hold it together until I can be alone. He won't understand... he thinks he loves me, but he has no idea.

Her hand went to his shoulder. "Lucas... wake up."

He stirred slightly but didn't actually wake.

"Lucas... I need you to wake up." She shook him again.

His eyes fluttered open slowly and he stretched before finding her with his gaze.

Looking down at him, feeling immense pain in her frontal lobe, her eyes sagged. "I need you to take me home, please. I'm sorry to wake you."

Concerned, he went to her. "Are you okay?"

Just a nod. "I have a really bad headache and I need to go home to get my medicine." Nausea and dizziness were starting to hit her. Her heart raced in her chest as fear of going into a full-blown mental episode struck her. This was not the way she wanted him to find out about how serious her condition was. Planning to dress, she stood, but dizziness overcame her and she went back to the bed. Tears began.

"Faith, what can I do?" She felt his hand on her head then a kiss to her hair.

"Get me home. Please, just get me home."

He got himself dressed as quickly as possible then went to her to help her. "I'm not sure I like helping you dress. It's not near as much fun."

She managed to find a grin for him even through her pain. "Funny guy."

Once she was dressed, he kissed her forehead. "Come on, little lady. I need to get you home and take care of you."

No, she thought. You need to take me home and leave. How am I going to make him leave? He can't stay... he will see everything and I don't want him to see me like that.

Making quiet noises that showed her discomfort, she could barely sit up straight in the car. As soon as he parked, she hopped out of the truck. Feeling his arm go around her, she leaned into him, not sure if she could make it up the steps by herself.

Once in her apartment he flew into action. "Where are your pills? I'll get them."

"No, I will. You can just go. I need to be alone for a while, Lucas."

He replied indignantly, "Oh, hell no! I am not leaving you like this."

"Yes, Lucas. You are. You have to."

He went to the kitchen to get her some water. "What kind of man would I be if I left you in this condition? You can barely walk, Faith. Come on; let me get you into bed."

It was almost too late and she knew it. She had to make him leave... immediately. She spoke sternly, "I don't want you here right now. I need you to leave!"

His body halted as her words processed through him.

She put her hand up to her forehead and winced. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I'm sorry. But I really just want to be alone for a bit. Can you just let me take my medicine and crawl into bed?"

He nodded slowly. "Okay. If that's what you want. I'll go."

His face appeared so... wounded. Tears came to her eyes as the internal conflict raged over wanting him with her and needing him gone. "I'm so sorry, Lucas. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm just in a lot of pain and it's not going to be pretty. I don't really want you to see me like this, so please, can you just give me some space?"

"Do you get these headaches a lot, Faith?" He looked worried.

"Occasionally. But I'm okay. You don't have to worry. I'll call you a little later, okay?" She went to him, leaning her face into his chest. She felt his hand on the back of her head and a kiss to the top of it.

"Okay, Faith. But you call me if you need me and I'll be right over. I promise."

She nodded then looked into his eyes.

He wiped her tears with his thumbs then kissed her lips. His eyes were intense as he whispered, "I'm worried about you."

Nodding again, she kissed his lips.

Finally, he left. She locked the door immediately and headed towards her bathroom but she didn't make it there, falling to the floor right by the kitchen, she grabbed her head, trying to relieve the pain. Without doubt, a full episode was coming and nothing could be done to stop it. Under normal circumstances, Faith would have called her mother, but she couldn't get to her phone. Numbness overtook her and she slid into darkness, knowing it was never good to be alone during one of these. The choice was made now... it was too late to do it any way but alone.

Forehead on the cold bathroom tile, she became conscious. Standing slowly, she surveyed the area around her to see if anything was out of place. Blood. Oh crap, what did I do? Looking in the mirror, she realized it was nothing serious, just a bloody nose. After cleaning the blood up, she made her way out of the bathroom slowly to assess her apartment. Her blackout had lasted almost three hours but there was no indication she had done anything too crazy while she was unaware of herself. According to her phone records, she hadn't made any phone calls either. Just as she expected, her body ached all over and it was hard to move around. After episode feelings were never pleasant but the worst of it was over, the rest was doable. A doctor's appointment was high on her priority list, so she left a message on his answering service, asking them to get her in as soon as possible.

Her thoughts went to Lucas and the three little words--okay, the three BIG words that had exited his mouth the prior night. It made her swoon.

I wish he were here with me. I wish his hands were on me... except that my body, joints, and skin hurt so bad I can't even imagine air on me.

Her belly growled, reminding her of her need to eat. The only thing her freezer had to offer was a pizza, so she went for it. While waiting, a piping hot bath was in order, an attempt to reduce the intense pain.

Relaxing in the water felt nice. A deep sigh released some extra stress.

Does he really love me? Or does he just think he loves me because the sex is so good? Ten days... is that enough to feel something like that?

She had no idea. Romantic love had never been part of her life... ever.

Trying to define her own feelings was difficult. He was gorgeous, which made her terribly attracted to him physically, not just visually though. All she had to do is think about him and her body reacted quickly, swelling and soaring with desire. Her tummy flipped and she would have to cross her legs to suppress the tingle. Physically... it was all good, maybe too good.

Mentally, she was pretty sure this was a good match. He treated her with nothing but kindness. He seemed to want to spend time with her and listen to her words. He took interest in who she was and what she liked. He was well rounded, made her laugh, loved God, intelligent, had a good job... no major flaws came to mind. Mentally, she had no arguments against him.

But what about her heart? What did her emotional center feel? She closed her eyes in an attempt to define it. Feel... what do I feel? Her core pulsed once deeply as she thought of him and there was an aftershock extending outward through every limb.

I want to be with him as much as I can, I don't mean sex... just be with him. Sit next to him. Listen to him breathe. Share giggles and frowns. I want to know him and I never want to see him sad. Oh, crap... this very well might be love. I'm in trouble. Big trouble.

The oven timer sobered her from her thoughts. She threw her robe on and headed to save her pizza from burning.

After dressing, she stuffed her face, eating six slices with no problem. Once done, her stomach turned and a rash of heat went through her. Nausea set in and her mouth began to water. Knowing exactly what was going to happen next, she rushed to the bathroom, barely making it there in time before retching up everything she had just consumed. Sitting in front of the toilet, she took a deep breath. This episode was turning into an ugly one.

She heard her phone beep and slowly went to find it.

L: You doing okay?

F: Hey, I'm ok

L: Better?

F: Better but really sore and tired

L: Anything I can do?

F: No, just need to rest

L: Do you need someone to rest with?

F: You don't want to be around me right now, trust me. I'm no fun

L: I always want to be around you

F: That's sweet but I'm a mess

L: If you need to take a break from me, I understand

F: No, that's not it

L: Did I freak you out? With the L word?

F: No. Not at all

L: Did my mom scare you off?

F: No, Lucas, it's not you. I just don't feel well. I promise

No response.

F: I just yakked my lunch... it's not you, I swear

L: You poor thing, wish I could come take care of you

F: Honestly, I don't want you to see me like this

L: I don't care. I want to hold your hair for you

F: You're so sweet

L: I'll let you be. Wish there was something I could do

F: I just need some time and rest, but I'll be thinking of you

L: Ditto

F: Talk to you soon

L: Count on it - feel better fast

MONDAY, DAY 11

THE GYM WAS just what he needed to release some pent up tension from not being able to see or touch her. His mind kept heading to her snippet of a bikini, and to keep from embarrassing himself while working out, he had to redirect his thoughts to... Olga, the human resource coordinator at the office. Nice, friendly, and super witty, but the sheer amount of jet black arm hair this woman had was frightening. Lucas found himself doing some extra Dumbbell Flies as well as Full Body Dips in an effort to keep Faith impressed. Working out had always been about him, so he found himself surprised as he realized he had a new motivation.

Once at work, he felt compelled to check on her.

L: Good morning, beautiful

F: Hi

L: Feeling any better?

F: Some

L: Please tell me I can see you tonight

A long pause worried him.

F: I think I need to rest, still feeling pretty bad

He became worried.

L: Are you avoiding me?

F: No. I promise. You're too cute to avoid :)

Okay, maybe she isn't but... this just feels off.

L: Are you sure? You can be honest with me

F: I am being honest. I feel horrible and the last thing I want to do is give it to you

L: I will gladly take anything you have

F: You don't want this, I assure you

L: I don't think you understand how much I want to take care of you

F: Lucas, stop

He realized he was on the verge of annoying her. This was nothing new for him. Every girl he had ever dated had gotten frustrated by his need to tend to her wants. Give her space, Lucas!

L: Sorry

F: It's okay

L: You let me know when you want to see me again

F: I will

He sighed.

L: I have tickets to a basketball game on Thurs night. Will you go with me?

A long pause made him worry again.

L: You there?

F: Yes :(

L: Why :(

F: Thank you for asking but I need to say no, I'm sorry

His eyes bubbled open, shocked.

L: Hmm

F: What?

L: Just tell me if you're done with me, please, I'd rather know than wonder

F: No! I promise

He didn't believe her and wasn't sure what to say.

F: I don't like crowds, Lucas... makes me very nervous

L: I will protect you :)

Another pause.

F: I'm sorry, maybe some other time

He put his head in his hands. Had he screwed this whole thing up? Was it over before it even really had a chance to start?

F: I'm sorry

He was speechless.

F: Why don't you come over tomorrow night, I'll show you I'm not avoiding you

L: I guess I can wait until then

F: Waiting is not our forte

A smile returned to his face.

L: True

F: I'm feeling dizzy, I better lay down

L: Do you need anything?

F: No

L: Ok, let me know if you do

F: I will, have a good morning

L: I'll check in with you later

F: Thank you

He immersed himself in work, trying not to think about his fear of her separating herself from him, although he certainly could understand why she might want to after the horrible weekend with his mother. The woman had been awful to her. Faith had been called "common" and "whore". Heart sinking in his chest at the memory, he closed his eyes to escape reality.

She shouldn't want to be with me after that, even if I did tell her I love her. Oh crap, I told her I love her. It's only been a little over a week. I'm done. It's official. I'm never seeing her again. Damn it. I have to make sure that doesn't happen.

His cell phone rang, making him smile seeing her name. "Hello."

"Thank you." Her voice sounded groggy but sweet.

"For what?" He was playing dumb.

"The flowers."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

She giggled. "Really? Who else would send me flowers with a card that says 'Sorry my mother called you a common whore'? That was probably a fun message to relay to the flower people."

A laugh flew out of his mouth. "Surprisingly, they hadn't heard that pick-up line before."

"I bet."

He heard her doorbell ring over the phone and laughed a little. "You better go get that."

"What did you do, Lucas Brandon Anderson?"

"You'll just have to go to the door and find out."

"Okay, I'm gonna go. I have a feeling I'll be calling you back shortly."

"Good luck!" He heard her hang up and killed the call with a grin on his face. His phone rang again about twenty minutes later. "What took you so long?"

She was laughing. "Decoding a message written on helium balloons is a bit challenging, Lucas. They don't tend to stay where you put them, but I persevered."

"And?"

"Thank you."

"For what?" He was grinning ear to ear.

She sighed. "I'm glad you think I'm an 'extraordinarily tolerant and beautiful woman' but you really don't need to butter me up, Lucas."

"I'm not buttering you up, Faith. I'm trying to tell you how I feel. I want you to know without doubt... that nothing my mother said changed anything for me and I'm sitting over here praying, hoping... it didn't change anything for you."

She was quiet.

"Faith..."

"Yes."

"Please don't let her ruin this for us." He heard her sniffle. "Faith..."

She didn't answer.

"Are you... crying?"

She fought for breath again and he knew for certain, she was weeping.

His heart plunged downward. He spoke wistfully, "I'm sorry."

"No, you don't need to be sorry. I'm just... not at my best and I'm feeling..."

"I was trying to help you feel better, happy."

"You have. I promise you. You have."

He closed his eyes, wishing he could see her to gage the truth.

"You're very sweet. I'm not feeling like... I deserve you."

"What are you talking about? I put you through the worst weekend ever, I allowed my mother to insult the crap out of you, I've continually disrespected you by ripping your clothes off and jumping you every chance I get, and to top it off... now you're sick as a dog. Quite frankly, you deserve better than me, but I'm praying you can forgive all of that and give me a chance anyway."

After a pause, he heard her laugh quietly. "Yes, Lucas. Yes." She still had tears coming but she sounded as though she were smiling. "If you give me the same in return."

"I can't imagine you ever needing it but... seven times seventy, Faith."

He heard her doorbell ring again. The final gift was there.

Another giggle. "Oh, boy. I can only imagine."

"You'll appreciate it, I promise."

"Okay. I'll call you soon. Thank you for being so sweet, Lucas."

"Being sweet to you is easy, baby."

The doorbell rang again. "Okay. Bye for now."

"Bye."

The last present he had sent was a collection of books to help her 'deal' with the new presence he hoped would be sticking around for a while... Muriel. The first book was a fiction story by A.D. Wilson called My Boyfriend's Mother, about a Jewish mother who gives her son's girlfriend a lot of trouble. Next was a book called Mother-In-Law Hell by Patricia Bachkoff, which was a collection of real life stories of this crazy dynamic. Lastly, How to Deal with Your Mother-In-Law (Sisters and Family Included) by Dr. Bree Allinson, a psychological look at coping with an overbearing and controlling MIL. He had two purposes in sending these... practical help was the first, but the second was to indicate his intentions. Yes, he liked her enough to make her a daughter-in-law to his mother... someday.

TUESDAY, DAY 12

IT WAS THE longest workday ever. All he could think about was wrapping his arms around her as two days had been two too many to be away from her. Having no plans of allowing her to sleep alone another night, he went home after work, took a shower, and then packed a bag so he could go straight to the gym from her place in the morning.

As he walked up her apartment stairs, he reminded himself he needed to be a little more casual. Worry of scaring her off as well as concern over her thinking sex was his first priority had riddled him lately.

The smile on her face almost knocked him breathless as her door opened. She had on a long, navy semi-sheer mesh skirt, which flowed with every movement, along with a light blue scoop neck cotton top. He leaned in to kiss her cheek but she stole his lips for a quick kiss. Stepping back, she invited him in, and he watched her turn and head towards the kitchen after telling him she needed to check on dinner. He couldn't help but watch her rear as she walked away. It was shapely and had a little shake to it. He wondered if she had underwear on? It sure didn't look like it. Erection. Damn it. I don't want her to think that's all I care about. I need to get myself under control! He went to the living room trying to calm it down.

Soon she joined him, sitting next to him on the couch. They grinned at each other but the moment felt awkward. He was holding himself back from launching his entire body at her. She looked hot, amazingly so. Her hair was still just slightly damp so he knew she had showered recently. He reached over, tucking her hair behind her ear and she smiled at him kindly. Her face was made up, which brightened her features and gave her eyes a definition he hadn't noticed before. Sexy. Damn sexy.

Tilting her head, she spoke, "Did you have a nice day?"

"It was fine. How about you?"

"I'm feeling all better."

"Good. You look really pretty."

Shyly, she thanked him. It was adorable. "I hope you don't mind spaghetti."

"One of my favorites."

"I'm not the best cook, but I try."

He wanted to kiss her so bad it physically hurt him to hold it back.

She looked around the room nervously as he soaked her in. Finally, her eyes came back to his and she squinted slightly. "Are you mad at me?"

His eyes widened. "Heck no. Why? Why would you think that?"

She shrugged bashfully. "I don't know. You seem... distant."

Oh, hell no. This wasn't going to fly at all. If holding back made him seem distant then, to hell with it. He put his hand to her cheek and moved in quickly for a light kiss to her lips. A close stare ensued, then without words, he kissed her again, more deeply this time. Her tongue danced with his slowly as a rush of emotion flew through his body. "Do I seem distant now?"

"No," she grinned. The kitchen buzzer sounded. "Ready to eat?"

"Yes. Can I help you?"

She stood. "No. Just go sit your fine ass down at the table and I'll be with you shortly."

He laughed. "Yes, ma'am." He watched her walk away again... nope, no underwear. He was almost certain.

She brought over two plates and two glasses of wine and sat down with him. Her cell phone began ringing so she got up to retrieve it from the kitchen. "My mother. I'll talk to her later." She declined the call and returned to the dining room table. "After meeting your mother, I have a greater appreciation of my own."

They both chuckled.

He took his first bite of pasta and thought it tasted great, but her eyes were locked on his and he was having a hard time concentrating. She pressed her lips together as they carefully observed each other. "I'm not that hungry," she admitted quietly.

"Still not feeling well? Should I go?"

She shook her head. "No. It's not that. I just..." She rose to her feet slowly and went to him, sitting sideways on his lap and leaning her forehead to his.

His hands had to touch her face. "You look sad, sweetie. What's wrong?"

She closed her eyes tight and a tear escaped.

"Oh no, don't... it kills me."

She opened her eyes. "Do you really love me? Or were those just words?"

Oh, woman, if only you knew what was inside this chest pounding solely for you. He whispered, holding her face closely. "Yes. I wouldn't say that unless I meant it."

She smiled. "I feel it too. I've never been in love before but I think... I am. It's different from anything I've felt before. It's a bit overwhelming."

She has never been in love before? I'm... her... first? How amazing is that? One hand went to her belly, the other to her back. "Hopefully, in a good way."

She nodded with a childlike innocence.

So freakin' adorable. He wanted a kiss so he leaned in, taking control of her lips. Delicate and steady, the kiss grew along with his desire for her.

She pulled away. "I'm sorry. I should let you eat."

No way, sweetheart! You're not going anywhere! He held her where she was. "Food ain't got nothing on you." Another angelic smile melted his heart. Their lips joined again and this time he grabbed on... tight.

She made a sweet noise, a slight hum that let him know she was enjoying herself. She raised herself, turning into him then straddled his lap. His immediate thought was... underwear? He had to know. His hands slid under her skirt and he felt her warm, smooth, soft legs under it. He gripped slightly as his hands travelled up her legs, pushing the skirt up as he went.

She opened her eyes, grinning as they kissed when his suspicion was confirmed.

"That is incredibly hot," he said quickly. "Damn."

She reached down and started to unbutton his jeans. "You sure you wouldn't rather eat?"

"I'm positive." He felt completely desperate for her and could hardly wait to fulfill his need. He kissed her neck as she worked to free him from his confines.

A knock came to her door and before he could even think, he heard a key entering the lock.

She stopped their kiss immediately. "My parents!"

Her mother rushed in first, yelling her name, then in came her father. Faith hadn't even had a chance to get up off Lucas's lap, so her parents got to see exactly what their daughter was up to. Lucas was extremely grateful his back was to them, and she had that skirt on. He was able to reclose his jeans undercover and as soon as he was done, she stood up.

"Mom... Dad... you probably should have... knocked... or something."

Her mother looked at her father. "Oh, dear."

Lucas stood up and turned towards them, completely mortified. This was not the way he had hoped to meet her parents.

"I was having dinner with Lucas when you called. That's why I didn't answer," Faith explained.

"That didn't look like dinner to me," her dad blurted out.

Her mother shoved her dad slightly. "I'm sorry, dear. I thought something was wrong and I made your father bring me over. I can see now... you're fine."

Faith figured it was time for introductions so she did her best to make it smooth. "Mom and Dad, this is Lucas. Lucas, these are my parents."

Lucas stepped to them and extended his hand, first to Mrs. Quinn and then to Mr. Quinn. "It's nice to meet you."

They were kind but he could tell her dad was not happy with seeing his baby girl being manhandled by a stranger.

An unsettling silence filled the room as if none of them knew quite what to say. Finally, Faith's mother broke it. "Well, we'll just get out of here. Sorry to bother you, dear."

"It's okay, Mom, I should have answered the phone," Faith replied.

Mrs. Quinn waved at Lucas. "It was nice to meet you, Lucas."

"Likewise," he replied.

Mr. Quinn didn't say anything, just grunted and followed his wife out the door.

When the door closed, Faith closed her eyes in complete embarrassment. "I'm so sorry! My mother is really overbearing and she worries if she can't get ahold of me." Faith's eyes went to his. "I'm so glad that wasn't five minutes later."

Yes, what a difference five minutes would have made. He thought about what he might have been doing to her inside of five minutes had they been able to continue. "Maybe we should be thankful."

"Why's that?"

"I was about to be stupid." Again, the thought of going in bare totally turned him on.

She put her hands and head on his chest lovingly. "We can't be stupid, Lucas. We can't. Okay? Promise me."

He nodded as he hugged her. "Okay. I promise."

She lifted her head looking at him as though something serious was on her mind. Her mouth opened slightly but nothing came out.

"Don't worry. You can trust me. If you don't want that to happen again, I promise it won't. Okay?" He needed to remove the urgency from her expression.

She nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

"Did you see the look on your dad's face? If looks could kill... I'd be a goner."

"In his defense, you were attempting to defile his only daughter," she said with a smirk.

"What are the chances he is going to hold that against me... like, forever?"

She scrunched her face. "Pretty good odds. He is very protective. They both are."

He kissed her forehead. "If I had a daughter as sweet as you, I'd be very protective too."

She melted in his arms.

He leaned down to kiss her. "Do you want to eat now?"

Squinting and tilting her head. "You?"

"Hell no! You don't have any underwear on... there is only one thing on my mind."

"Then get to it, Mr. Anderson."

Oh, you don't have to tell me twice! That fine ass is mine... now! He threw her over his shoulder, displaying his sheer strength as she giggled and wiggled.

WEDNESDAY, DAY 13

TRYING TO WORK was proving to be difficult as thoughts of him kissing, smiling, teasing, and lying on top of her was distracting. The words she needed to say to him about the secret inside her had attempted to come out of her mouth the prior day, but something stopped them. It was getting harder to find the nerve to do it. Scared, she found herself truly missing him and wanting him close to her. Perhaps she could get a little afternoon reprieve.

F: Free for lunch?

L: Sure, where?

F: My bed ;)

L: You want me for my body

F: I want you in general

L: What's in it for me?

F: Oh please

L: LOL I couldn't even think that without laughing

F: I figured

L: See you soon

F: You'll see a lot of me soon ;)

L: Damn right

F: :)

She jumped out of her computer chair the moment she heard his knock. Without even saying hello, she attacked him with a kiss. He seemed to understand her intentions and began undressing her immediately.

They made their way to the bedroom slowly, slinging clothes off as they went. The curtains were drawn tight so it was dark. He pushed her down on the bed and went to her. All of a sudden, emotions started to well inside her as he kissed her. Lovingly looking up at him as his body lay over her, she watched his face. Safety surrounded her as they began to make love and tears came to her eyes. Not upset, just overcome with emotion for him, she could barely hold herself together.

After touching her cheek, he asked, "What's wrong?" He his body.

She shook her head. "No, don't stop."

He kissed her tears as he moved gently. Eyes on her now, he spoke quietly, "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"I'm feeling scared."

"Of what?" He kissed her cheek.

"Losing you. I feel so silly."

Nestling into her lips, he replied, "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." Eyes peering straight into hers. "Do you hear me?"

"Promise?" She was sure she sounded just as insecure as she felt.

"I promise. I love you, Faith."

That was exactly what she needed to hear. "I love you too."

Another kiss began as they continued making love intensely.

"Oh, Lucas, I love you so much."

"I love the sound of your voice saying that to me." He kissed her passionately, seeming to want to make sure she knew for sure he did love her. His body seemed to speak as he kissed her and held her.

"I need the security of your arms, Lucas."

"Every day, they are yours, Faith. Whenever you need them."

She took his face in her hands, tears falling. "How is it possible for me to feel this much love for someone I only just met?"

"I don't know but I feel it, too," he replied sweetly.

She went into a full uncontrollable cry.

He stopped completely and rolled to his side, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. She cried into him as he tried to comfort her.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry."

"Don't you dare apologize." He kissed her lips. "I want you to be who you are and if you're scared or sad or overwhelmed I want you to share it with me."

She looked into his eyes, wondering how something so wonderful also felt so frightening?

"You don't have to be scared, my dear. We're in this together."

She latched onto him tightly, not understanding where all the emotion was coming from. As understanding as he was, she knew he couldn't fully understand her fear, because her secret was still tucked inside her. Wondering if this were the moment to say it, the thought of him becoming angry stopped her. If he left her in this state, everything around her would come crashing down, so in it stayed.

She pulled herself together and looked into his gorgeous eyes, feeling embarrassed. "I'm sorry I'm being such a baby. Forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive. I'm here for you, whatever you need."

Relief overcame her. "You are such a good man, Lucas. I'm very lucky."

"I'm pretty lucky, too."

They began kissing again and finished what they had started.

THURSDAY, DAY 14

BASKETBALL GAME NIGHT had arrived. Faith had seen him that morning briefly after waking up together. Coffee and a kiss goodbye and the next time they'd be together was a day away. Still emotional, she wished she hadn't declined. But his best friend, Donovan, was joining him for the game, so she told herself it was good they would have guy time. Late on her meds several times this week, a lot of interrupted sleep, stress from a crazy weekend, a full-blown episode already, and not eating timely was creating a perfect storm within her brain. Her mental disorder was sure to surface and cause her mental condition to crash... she just hoped she could hide it from him, or at least keep it together enough not to scare him off.

Around six o'clock he texted her.

L: Hey sweet thing

F: Hi

L: I wanted to let you know that Donovan had something come up and he can't go to the game with me

Faith smiled, hoping he would ask her to reconsider.

L: But my friend Leah took his ticket, so I'm going with her

Faith's eyes burned. He was taking a girl.

L: Are you there

Livid.

F: Yep

L: Just wanted you to know

F: Yep

L: I will miss you

She didn't reply. I have to hold back my sarcasm.

L: You still there?

F: Yep

L: I love you

F: That's nice

L: Are you mad?

She didn't want to be ridiculous or mad but... honesty won.

F: Yep

L: You didn't want to go

Her stubborn streak rose and nothing could contain it.

F: Enjoy your date

L: It's not a date

Furious.

L: Don't be mad

Enraged.

L: Do you want me to cancel?

F: Do whatever you want

Her heart ached in her chest as she typed a message. She hated herself even before she sent it... this was not her... this was her illness.

F: Do me a favor. If you decide you want sex tonight, just ask Leah to help you out

Why did I do that? I'm going to screw this up.

L: Come on, Faith. I don't deserve that

Knowing he was right didn't matter. When unstable stubborn hit her, it was like an impenetrable force.

L: You don't trust me

F: Why should I?

L: Why shouldn't you? Have I given you a reason not to?

F: You slept with me the night we met

His reply came slowly.

L: I believe you were there too

There was a long pause.

L: I don't want to argue, you know how I feel about you

F: I thought I did

L: Stop it

Wanting to stop behaving poorly and trust him was stolen by completely irrational conduct. After a very long pause, she forced herself to reply.

F: I'm sorry

No response came.

F: I'm just mad at myself for saying no in the first place and I miss you

L: I wanted you to go with me

F: I know

L: Leah is just my friend

F: Okay

L: You are my girlfriend, only you

F: Okay

L: I love you

F: Even when I act like this?

L: Yes. Even when you act crazy

Ouch. Crazy... I'm acting crazy because... I am crazy. He deserves better than me, better than this but I love him.

L: I gotta go, are we good?

F: Yes

L: You know I love you, right?

F: Yes

L: K - bye

As soon as she was sure he was done, she began sobbing. Her bed was her comfort for the next few hours, worrying about what he was doing with another woman by his side. Thinking about her earlier text, anxiety of him sleeping with this Leah person reduced her to a new emotional low of the day.

F: Please don't sleep with her

There was a long wait for a reply.

L: Don't be ridiculous. I would never

F: Promise?

L: Yes!

Feeling a little better, the couch called for her. The television kept her mind occupied for several more hours until it was time to take her medicine. The game had been over for quite some time so she wondered what he was doing. Why hadn't he messaged her? She held off until 11:00 to check in with him.

F: You there?

Again, it took a while for him to respond but he finally did.

L: Yeah, what's up?

F: Just wondering what you're up to

L: At Jackson's Bar

Great. Out with another girl while drinking. This had recipe for disaster written all over it. This time, she wasn't mad. She became panic-stricken.

F: Okay

She started to cry.

L: You okay?

F: :(

L: Why :(

F: IDK

F: Scared

L: About what?

F: Never mind

L: Faith, you're kinda driving me nuts. I don't know what to say to you

F: I'm sorry, I'll let you go

She was crying really hard now.

L: I love you

F: I'm scared I'm going to lose you

L: Stop

F: I'm sorry

L: Don't be sorry. Be confident

F: You don't understand

L: You're right, I don't

F: If you're going to leave me, just do it now

L: Stop it!

F: I'm serious

L: So am I. I'm not going anywhere, I promise

F: Can you stay with me tonight?

L: You've gone from pushing me away to asking me to stay. Which is it?

F: I'm sorry

L: Yes, I will stay with you tonight. I'll come over when I'm done here

F: I'll leave the door unlocked

L: See you then

F: Bye

After crawling into bed at 11:30, sleep eluded her. Tears flooded her eyes on and off as she waited. At 12:30, he finally arrived.

Not sure how he would react to her, she lay still as if sleeping. Soon, she felt the bed dip as he got in.

"You awake?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," she replied. After some silence she said, "I'm sorry."

He snuggled in behind her and squeezed. "I know it's hard to trust me, but you have to try, Faith."

"I know; I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed by my behavior. I'm new to all of this and I didn't expect to feel so... jealous."

She felt his lips touch her neck and it made her tear up.

"You made my life difficult tonight. I know this is a unique situation, but I don't want to stop trying to make it work. I love you, Faith."

Rolling herself over, she looked in his eyes. "I don't want to stop trying either."

His face looked serious without a hint of smile. "I don't like worrying or feeling stressed out, especially about love. It should make us both feel wonderful; it should be fun and easy."

She nodded as a tear went down her cheek.

He swiped it with his thumb. "The only way we can succeed is if we make the decision to trust each other. Unfortunately, amazing sex doesn't equal trust. I guess love doesn't equal trust either." He took her hand in his and sunk his fingers between hers.

This was the moment, the time to finally tell him about her messed up brain. It would explain so much to him about her behavior and maybe it was just what they needed to achieve the trust they were longing for. "There is something I need to tell you."

He kissed her forehead gently. "I hope it's not anything too heavy... I think my head will explode if I have to deal with anything else tonight." He sounded completely spent. "It was just kind of a bad night in general."

"Why? What happened?"

He took a deep breath. "If trust is what we are shooting for, I guess I need to tell you what happened... with Leah."

I knew it! Her heart began to drum heavily.

"She kissed me."

Not wanting to overreact, especially after his big speech about trusting each other, she forced herself to speak calmly. "What happened?"

"At the bar we were just hanging out with a few friends. Leah pulled me aside and thanked me for finally asking her out on a date then confessed she's had feelings for me since the day we began working together." He played with her fingers, avoiding her eyes. "Right when I opened my mouth to explain it wasn't supposed to be a date, she started kissing me." His eyes met Faith's.

She swallowed. "Did you kiss her back?"

"No, I pushed her away as quickly as I could."

Faith nodded slowly.

"I told her I didn't mean for it to be a date, told her I was seeing you and that's when she slapped me." He felt the side of his face. "It kinda hurt."

Faith removed his hand from his face and stroked his cheek gently with her own hand.

"I already knew how mad and upset you were at me over me going with her, then she gives you a reason to be mad and upset. Then I get slapped. I don't know, maybe I deserved it."

"I'm sorry I made it worse."

"I just want things to be easy. I want you to trust me. I want us to be happy. And I don't want anyone getting mad at me or slapping me. I especially don't want you crying. Is that too much to ask?"

"Maybe. I cry over everything."

His hands smoothed her hair. "It kills me." He kissed her lips slowly. "Do you think you can decide to trust me, for real?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes."

"Good. I promise I won't give you a reason to stop."

"Okay. Thank you for being so patient with me. I'm sorry I got so upset and ruined your evening."

"Patience is easy for me, Faith. I have plenty and I don't mind using it. I just want you to know, I would never hurt you, not on purpose. When you sent me that message asking me not to sleep with her, it was like a dagger in my heart."

"I'm sorry. My mind was churning and I couldn't stop thinking about what I said to you earlier. I was... an emotional wreck tonight and..." She wanted to tell him why but... he said he couldn't handle anything heavy. "All I can say is I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Do you realize, just the thought of you crying breaks my freakin' heart, and I was sitting there all night imagining you crying. Made it hard for me to even try to have a good time. Was I right, were you crying?"

Shyly, she nodded.

He pulled her as close to him as he could. "Oh, Faith."

"I was being ridiculous," she replied, feeling dreadful for making him feel horrible.

"No, I get it. I shouldn't have gone with a girl. If I had to do it over again, I'd do it differently."

"Me too." She grabbed on tight. "I'm glad you're here now. Thank you for coming."

"I'll always be here for you, Faith. All you have to do is say the word." He brought his lips to hers and began kissing her with the kind of kiss she knew was going to lead to a full-blown make up. "I love you."

"I love you too."

FRIDAY, DAY 15

HE ROLLED HIS naked body onto hers the minute he awoke, not caring what time it was. A dream had him aroused; a dream of her and the family he hoped for in the future. Four children at the least, they had six together in this fantasy. Even after six children, Faith still had a hot little body and knew exactly how to turn him on and get him off. In his dream, she had been wearing a sexy little nightie and had gone to her knees while he had been getting ready for work. Damn, she did him right.

He wasn't the type of guy to ask his woman to pleasure him in that way; he thought she should only do that when she wanted to, but he hoped she'd want to this morning as his dream had him primed for it. How can I get her there? He had an idea, and to his surprise, it worked. He told her about what she was doing in his dream and she immediately took it as a challenge to try to outdo what her dream-self had done. Damn. That mouth, those lips, that tongue... all perfect. All... flawless at polishing him off.

After a short break, he needed to satisfy her as well, so he took care of business in the traditional way. Shy, nervous, and apprehensive, she wouldn't let him near her orally. He hoped in time her feelings about it would change as he wanted to... in the worst way. Off to work.

L: Good morning beautiful

No response.

L: Hello, are you there?

Still no response. Maybe she was busy or in the shower. After twenty minutes passed, he began to wonder...

L: Are you still mad at me?

Nothing.

Irritated, he took a deep breath.

What the hell did I do this time? I swear... if this is the way it's going to be with us, it's going to be really difficult.

L: Stop ignoring me

Still nothing.

L: I thought we were past this

He shook his head throwing his phone on his desk.

An hour passed and still nothing. Obsessed by her lack of communication, he attempted to focus on work but found it difficult to concentrate. After another hour, frustration turned to worry. What if she was mad at him to the point she didn't want to talk to him ever again.

L: Please talk to me

After no response was received, head hung low he combed through their last interactions trying to figure out why she was upset with him. He had to fix it.

Almost lunch time, his phone buzzed... three times in a row.

F: Sorry, I was at the doctor all morning. Had to turn my phone off

F: I'm not mad at you

F: I love you

Relief went through him. Ahhhh... she's not mad at me.

L: I'm sorry. I thought you were ignoring me

F: No. I promise I won't do that again

Good. Wait a minute... she went to the doctor? Why didn't she tell me?

L: Dr? Are you okay?

Concern surrounded him.

F: Just a check-up

A three plus hour check-up? His unease remained.

L: Are you feeling ok?

F: Mostly. Too emotional

Yes. He had to agree. Her emotions were heightened from what he could tell.

L: What did the Dr say?

F: Not much

L: Anything I can do?

F: Just be patient with me

L: Done

F: Come see me tonight?

L: I'm there

F: Good. Anything else you'd care to share with me about your dream this morning?

Erection... and a chance to talk about his dream.

L: We were married and had 6 kids. You were still smokin' hot!

No response came.

L: You there?

F: You really want kids, don't you?

L: Is that a bad thing?

F: You're jumping ahead, we barely know each other

L: That is a good point made by the woman I hope to marry

After a short pause, she came back.

F: There is something I need to tell you, Lucas

L: Oh come on, our future children are counting on us and you'll be glad to know my mother said something positive about you, at least we would give her nice looking grandchildren

No response came for a long while.

L: You still there?

F: Maybe we need to... step back

Oh shit! I went too far. I'm scaring her off.

L: I'm sorry, Faith. I was joking. Don't step back, please

His heart pounded out a military rhythm as he awaited her reply.

F: Idk

L: Don't, please

Another long pause.

F: I'll see you tonight, Lucas. I need to go

L: Okay. I'm sorry

F: It's fine

As he readied himself to go to her place, he took special care wanting to look extra nice. Nervous about his slip earlier in the day, he didn't want anything else to go wrong.

He knew right away, the minute his eyes fell on her. "You've been crying."

A dismissive smile came as her eyes darted away. Stepping out of his way so he could enter her apartment she spoke, "You look really sexy tonight."

He went to her with a hug.

"And you smell just as sexy. What are you trying to do to me?" she asked.

He laughed. "Just wanted to look nice for my woman." He released her, looking into her eyes. "I'm glad it worked. Now tell me, why have you been crying?"

Ignoring his question, she escaped his hug. "You always look sexy... even when you don't try."

"Thank you." He was glad to hear she thought so but he wasn't about to give up. "What made you cry, Faith?"

"You're welcome. I ordered a pizza tonight, I hope that's okay?"

"Of course." He understood clearly that she didn't want to talk about what was bothering her, but that was not okay with him. "Come sit with me," he said, leading her over to the couch.

He was glad to feel her snuggle into him. Silence fell on them as he kissed the side of her head. "You okay?"

She nodded.

"What's going on?"

She answered timidly, "You freaked me out."

"I know. I'm sorry." He squeezed her.

Silence persisted.

Finally he spoke, "I don't want you to step back, Faith."

Pressing her face into his chest, her cry became real. "It's not that. It's... I don't want to lose you."

Arms enclosing her fully, he had to settle her mind and heart. "You don't have to worry about that. I swear to you. I'm not going anywhere." He wanted her eyes on him, so he pulled away, raising her chin up. "Do you hear me? You are stuck with me. I'm totally yours."

Her eyes were so sad. "What if..."

"There are no what ifs."

"But..."

"No what ifs and no buts. Okay?"

"Okay."

He slowly kissed her lips. "I'm yours. All of me."

"And I'm yours."

"I like the sound of that."

"Me too."

He pulled her lips to his for a kiss.

The pizza arrived. He smiled at her as he ended their kiss. "All better?"

"Yes. Thank you."

Glad to see a genuine smile he spoke, "I'll get the pizza. You stay here and look beautiful."

They lay on the couch together watching television and talking while cuddling and kissing, kissing and cuddling. It was perfectly relaxing and just what she seemed to need.

Bedtime approaching, he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. She was opening a prescription bottle when he came in. Stopping shyly, seeming to hide it from him, he became concerned.

"What's that you're taking?"

"Just a prescription the doctor gave me to help with my headaches."

"I didn't realize you were having more of them. How often are you getting them?"

"Not that much."

"Then why do you need medication?"

She pressed her lips together. "It's preventative."

If he could keep her from ever feeling pain, he would. Simply amazing, this woman before him. He sighed.

"What?"

"You. I'm... just so... you're beautiful and sweet." From behind, he began kissing her neck as he whispered, "Sexy and you make me so freakin' happy."

She turned around so she could face him. "I just need to look at you for a moment."

He smiled, giving her a view of his dimple. "Look as long as you like." Her eyes showed deep reflection with a glint of woe. "What are you thinking?" He stroked her hair, loving the softness on his palms.

"I... I don't feel like I deserve you." Pressing her forehead to his chest, she sighed. "But I'm glad you're here."

"I'm here and I love you." He picked her up quickly, loving the sound of her laugh.

Damn it, she's sexy. I can't wait to sink myself into her, listen to her moan and scream my name. Nothing sounds better than my name leaving her lips in the throes of sex.

SUNDAY, DAY 17

HER SUNDAY SCHOOL kids were funny about the guy she brought to class. Questions about him trumped the lesson as they were fascinated by the idea of their teacher having a boyfriend.

Very aware of Lucas's eyes watching her every move, Faith tried to behave normally as she taught the kids. She felt very gifted in her ability to communicate with these little people and proud they seemed to really like and relate to her. Using her own personal experiences to tell them about Jesus and His love for them made her feel useful.

"I loved seeing you with those kids today, Faith. You were amazing."

She scooted into the Olive Garden booth, grabbing a menu. "Thanks. I enjoy it. It's definitely one of my gifts."

"You are going to be an excellent mother someday." Seated across from her, he seemed well pleased with his choice in women.

He has no idea. Her smile faded slightly but then she made herself restore it.

He smiled at her. "I love kids and hope to have four... maybe five someday. Is that too many?"

"No, not if you want that it isn't."

"No, I mean for you. Is it too many for you?"

"Probably," she replied quietly, taking a sip of her drink. He has no idea... I will never be able to give him children.

Lucas reached for her hand. "Two would be okay, but there is plenty of time for all of that."

Did he want kids so bad that it would change his feelings for her? She pictured his future life empty without children while her heart boomed in her chest and the area around it constricted. The air felt thin so she excused herself from the table, not wanting him to witness her breaking down a bit. This was getting harder. He needed to know the truth, but she loved him so much already... what if it changed everything.

MONDAY, DAY 18

AN EVENING AT Lucas's apartment was just what she needed. By the time she arrived, two glasses of red wine were ready, the fireplace was lit, and Beef Stroganoff was underway. After thawing by the fire, she went to the kitchen just to be close to him. Watching Lucas cook made her smile... he was a natural.

They sat at the dining room table eating; the food was incredible... then he took her by surprise.

"Faith, do you mind if I ask you about the other guy you slept with? For some reason not knowing details really bothers me. I find myself looking around wondering... was it that guy... or that guy. It's unnerving."

"Are you serious?" She found it humorous.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Jealous or just curious?"

He gave her a playful glare. "Both."

"Well, think how I feel... you have six others. Times what you feel by six. Ugh."

"Why do you suppose it bothers us? It was in the past and we are together now, so why does it matter?"

"I know why it bothers me, but I can't speak for you."

"Tell me."

"I hate even thinking about it, Lucas. It's because I want all of you."

"You have all of me."

She had to laugh. "No, I don't! You already gave part of yourself to those other women. They all know you in a way I feel should only be for me... of course my thinking is skewed because I'm not even supposed to have that part of you yet. Even so, I feel cheated out of a gift I wanted to be mine." She looked down at her hands. "Part of me feels bad because whoever you marry will feel that way about me too. I'm stealing part of her gift every time we have sex."

"Faith..."

"Yes."

"I want that woman to be you. You can't steal from yourself."

She smiled at his sweet sentiment but she also knew he didn't have all the information. "What about you. Why do you think it bothers you?"

"I think it is a little more primal, but not entirely different. Just the thought of someone else touching you, seeing you, making you feel pleasure, just makes me... want to punch them. You're mine and I don't want to share you."

She laughed. "Well, let me put your mind at ease. My one and only other partner was a complete disaster... there was no pleasure and I don't think he even looked at me, not the way you do anyway. I was a bet."

Lucas's face changed to one of anger. "What? Did you say you were a bet?"

She nodded as though it were no big deal. "His name was Chris and his friends bet him a hundred dollars he couldn't get me to sleep with him. He pretended to be interested in me for months and then started to pressure me for sex. I was young and stupid, thought he was going to leave me, so I went ahead and slept with him. It was awful. Painful, very impersonal, and quite frankly bad in any and every way something can be bad. He broke up with me shortly after that, and then I found out about the bet."

She could tell Lucas felt awful for bringing up such an unpleasant memory, but she took it in stride.

"Now I want to kick his ass for a different reason."

"It's okay," she said. "I threw a chair at his head and broke his nose."

Lucas was quickly amused. "Good for you."

"I wish I had just waited. For you, I mean." She smiled genuinely. "It would have been nice if you had been my first. I bet it would have been much different."

"Do you think you still would have slept with me that first night?"

She thought for a moment then wrinkled her nose and nodded quickly. "Yeah, I am that attracted to you. Never felt that way before... ever." She looked into his eyes and spoke honestly, "I haven't had too many men in my life. In fact, I can count them on one hand. You... well; there was just something about you the minute our eyes met. It was like time stopped or something. And the attraction I feel for you is like something out of a romance novel. The way you looked at me when we were done playing cards that night, the way you asked me to come over to you... I just couldn't make any other decision. I was done."

His smile was brighter than ever. "I know exactly what you mean. I felt it, too."

She rolled her eyes a little as she thought of the other six women.

"What was that eye roll for? Do you not believe me?"

That's not what she had meant at all. "No. I was just thinking about something else."

"What?"

She looked into his eyes, afraid to know the answer but asked anyway. "Did you love all six of the other women?"

"There has never been anyone like you, Faith. I swear."

Her face showed skepticism.

"I was a stupid, horny boy in high school. My first time was with an older girl and it was just a one-time thing. The second one was a girlfriend and we dated for a year but it was silly high school love. Three of them were serious relationships and I had a one-night stand once, which was a stupid, drunken mistake. I don't even remember her name."

"Nice," she replied.

"I know. It's terrible to admit. I guess I'm a jerk."

She shook her head. "It was a jerky thing to do, but you are not a jerk. Of course what we did was jerky too."

"Oh, but we are in love!"

"We weren't in love that night! We were just hot for each other and unable to control ourselves."

He squinted.

"You're not going to sit there and tell me you were in love with me that night, are you?"

One eyebrow rose as he spoke, "The minute my eyes fell on you, I knew you were the one for me. It was instant and it was different from anything I had ever experienced before in my life."

"You really think you loved me the minute you saw me?"

"Not fully, but on some level, yes."

Doubt painted her face.

"Seriously," he replied, trying to convince her. "I don't know how or why, but that's what I felt."

Standing, she went to his lap and sat sideways. "Fine, I believe you."

"No, you don't. I can tell!"

A smile was all she had to offer him.

He lifted his brow. "You could have been a completely deranged, psychotic, crazy girl and I still would have loved you in that moment. Although, once I found out you were insane, I'm not sure how long it would have lasted between us, even with the great sex."

Her smile disappeared.

Noticing her expression change, his heart stopped. "What?"

"Nothing." She stood up from his lap but he grabbed her, pulling her back to him. "Let me go!"

Teasing, he responded. "No, you're mine. You're not going anywhere."

Stubbornness arose in a shout. "Stop it! Let me go."

He released her immediately. She stood up and turned away. Lucas spoke her name sweetly.

"What?" she asked, not looking at him.

"What's wrong?"

A deep breath expanded her chest as thoughts divided them. I'm going to lose him no matter what I do. I need to get out of here.

"What are you doing?" he asked as she went after her coat.

"Leaving."

He stood. "Why?"

Her face showed distress. "I think we need some space. Maybe we should just cool it for a while."

"I don't understand. You're scaring me. Just come over here and talk to me."

Shaking her head, her eyes avoided him. The thought of what they had coming undone was too painful so she tucked her head down, opening his front door. "I gotta go," she said as tears filled her eyes and she left. Home... her bed... safety is what she craved.

Startled by his forceful hands grabbing her waist from behind in the middle of the parking lot, she heard his voice. "Faith, I don't understand." He quickly pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her.

"Just let me go, please," she begged as she struggled.

"Not until you tell me why you're leaving. I don't understand. What did I do?"

Her struggle continued, but he didn't give in. Knowing the strength required to get away from him wasn't in her, she turned towards him, pushing to get an advantage.

"You can't leave me without telling me why."

Contesting him was futile. Tears flooded her; all this crying was getting old.

He grabbed on tight, hugging her as though it were the most important thing he had ever done.

She spoke into his chest, "You don't know me at all... I need to go."

He begged. "If you really think I don't know you, then show me who you are. Show me so I can know you. Leaving isn't the answer."

Looking sadly into his eyes, more tears fell.

He tightened his hold on her then brushed her hair with his hand. "It's way too cold out here for you to be crying... will you come back inside with me?"

She didn't respond.

"If you want to leave, that's fine, I won't stop you. Just know that I don't want you to go."

She took a deep breath, pulled back from him and pulled herself together. "I don't know what to say. I'm sorry I keep acting like this. I'm just really... nervous. This happened so fast and my feelings for you are so strong. I'm so scared of losing you I'm not even letting myself enjoy you. And I know if I keep acting like this, I will lose you. It feels hopeless."

"You're making yourself crazy over nothing. Just relax and enjoy what you feel for me. Please."

Crazy... yes. But it wasn't over nothing. "I'll try."

She went back inside with him and they ate dinner in silence.

TUESDAY EARLY MORNING, DAY 19

FOREARMS PRESSED TO the bed looking down into her eyes, his body moved in rhythm with hers. The feel of her body against his had him fired up and fervent, giving her all he had with great intensity. "Damn!"

"Why are you cursing at me?" she asked with a grin.

"It's a damn good damn, sweetheart. You feel incredible." His eyes went to her breasts then he glanced down to see where their bodies were joined. "Damn!"

"I deserve a better curse word than that."

"Oh damn-hell-effing-shit-yeah you're sexy as hell... is that better?"

"Much better." She reached up, bringing his head down so she could kiss him.

He dove into her mouth deeply as his body did the same. Her hands stroked his back as her thighs wrapped around his hips. Passion infiltrated him as he thrust harder than he ever had before. "I want to hear you scream my name," he whispered in her ear then bit her lobe. He felt her breasts rear up into his chest as she arched her back.

"Don't you dare stop." Her voice was serious and sexy.

"Stop is not in my vocabulary when it comes to you." He became even more impassioned, taking one hand and grabbing her under her rear, pressing her to him as he drummed himself into her forcefully. "Oh, Faith, you feel so good wrapped around me, like you were made for me; tight and perfect. And the way you move your body to show me what you want from me, I love it."

"I love this, too, Lucas. Nothing makes me feel more loved."

"You are loved. You are."

"What can I do for you? What will make you feel even better?"

"I wish I could take this condom off, I know I can't... but I wish I could paint your insides with myself. You're so hot, Faith. I want you all to myself. I want to mark you as mine."

"I am yours."

Hearing her words, he started slamming himself into her vigorously in short strides, almost brutally. There was no doubt, he was becoming rough. "I don't want to hurt you, don't let me hurt you."

Their eyes connected. "You won't hurt me. You do what you need to do to feel what you need to feel."

Damn, she even knows the exact words to say. She just might be the perfect woman for me. I love her. I love her so damn much.

"Please don't ever let another man touch you like this! Only me. I want you for the rest of my life. No more running out on me like you did earlier. Don't ever do that again, Faith." He was close to his orgasm but she hadn't gone yet.

"Take it off, Lucas. If that's what you want, take the condom off. I'll do anything to make you happy."

She'll do anything for me. I can take it off, I can go in bare, I can ejaculate inside her, I can make her the mother of my children, I can... No. I can't do any of that.

"I made a promise and you need to know, I keep my promises. I want you to trust me with your life. I love you... damn it, I love you. I can't wait any longer, baby. Oh God, you feel too good." His eyes closed as he detonated. "Holy Lord, Faith!" he shouted with an explosive stride inward. He felt her hands on his face and he opened his eyes. She was right there wanting to kiss him so his mouth plunged to hers as the remainder of his explosion blasted forth. He felt it rush through him, tingling every nerve long and hard as a few more strides of his hips brought things to a close.

Deep within her, stillness arrived as he heaved a breath and lifted himself with his forearms. "That was amazing. Oh my God, Faith. You are amazing." His head hung and eyes closed. Her hands touched his chest and his eyes opened. "Don't ever run out on me again, please. It scares the crap out of me and then I act like this. I'm sorry I was so rough." He gently kissed her cheek then rolled to his back, catching his breath.

She turned into him immediately, bringing her lips to his for a passionate kiss that surprised him. "You can be rough with me whenever you want, Lucas. I'm yours to do what you please with. Anything you want, it's yours."

His erection returned at the sound of her words and his hand went in her hair as they kissed and he felt her straddle his tired body.

"What do you want from me right now?"

"I want you screaming my name in pleasure, Faith."

She removed his condom and quickly replaced it with a new one. He felt her lower her body onto him as she sighed. She sat up swinging her hair back and beginning to ride him. "Then that's what you shall have."

He sat up, taking hold of her hips. "Oh damn-hell-effing-shit-yeah... I'm hot, sweaty, and tired as hell, but we're not done yet."

"No, we aren't," she agreed with a devious smile.

I could sex her all night... I just might. And work might have to wait tomorrow... I sense a sick day coming. Hell yeah... I want to be deep inside her as much as I can right now just so I know where she is. She's not running away from me... not anytime soon. It's obvious to me after her outburst at dinner... she has a secret and she's scared to death of it. I just need to show her she can trust me. I need her to know for certain, I'm not going anywhere, unless she's with me.

TUESDAY, DAY 19

HE TURNED HIS alarm off before it rang and sneaked out of bed to make his call to work, letting them know he wouldn't be in. Since he was "sick", the gym was off the schedule, but he felt the need to do a little workout in his living room. Not sure if it was the pushups or the memories of the amazing sex they'd had that night, but he ended up a little sweaty and breathing heavily. A drink of water to rehydrate and back to the bedroom.

He sat on the edge of the bed watching her sleep. So beautiful, like an angel. Yes, she was keeping a secret from him, a fact he could not deny bothered him. His mind wandered to all the things it could be and each thing he imagined was worse than the one before.

Is she deathly afraid of commitment? Or is it the opposite... is she married? Is she buried in debt and embarrassed? Is she sick... herpes or something like that?

He tucked her hair behind her ear. His heart stopped then throbbed in his chest. Is she really sick... terminal cancer? He couldn't bear it and had to kiss her.

She began to stir at the light lip touch. A pleasant smile found her mouth as her eyes fell on him. "I love waking up to you."

"How about for the rest of your life?" He grinned.

"Is that an option currently on the table?"

He nodded with a sigh, kissing her lips again. "As far as I'm concerned, you never have to leave this bed again."

All of a sudden, she thought about work. Her face went serious as she shot up. "What time is it? You're late!"

"Relax. I decided neither of us is working today, so call your slave driver of a boss and tell her you're taking a sick day."

"Ohh... I like a man who makes executive decisions. Very sexy."

He brought his mouth to hers. "You were... incredible last night. I mean... beyond unbelievable."

"I'm just trying to keep up with you."

Keep up with me? Hell, she has become the teacher.

"Will you take a shower with me?"

Her face changed, looking really nervous.

"You don't have to. But I would love to wash your body for you. Shave your legs and other parts." His eyebrows raised.

She nestled into him. "Only if you let me shave your face."

"Deal. But there is something I need to do first."

"What?"

He pushed her naked body back and lay on top of her. "You."

Her legs wrapped him quickly as she giggled. "You can do me whenever you want."

Impressed with himself, he made her scream his full name not once, but twice, after which he carried her to the shower to fulfill the fantasy he had requested. Shaving her legs was erotic for him. Something about her trusting him with a sharp razor gave him a high. He washed her, taking in every curve of her body. It was divine, even that little bit of extra she had in her thighs. Perfect.

After their shower, he had to make good on his part of the deal. She sat up on the bathroom counter with him standing before her. "I've never shaved another person before. And never a face."

"Well, I've never shaved the most feminine part of a woman before today either, but I did okay. Thank you for trusting me."

She grinned as she began her first stroke of the razor down his cheek. "Thank you for trusting me."

They sat together naked on his bed, relaxing in each other's arms.

"I want to know more about you," he said as he kissed the side of her face.

"What do you want to know?"

He pressed his lips together, knowing what he wanted to ask. "Will you tell me your best friend story? The one you said was sad?"

Her eyes diverted.

He lifted her chin. "I want to know everything about you, Faith. Even the sadness. Especially the sadness."

"Why?"

"Because it's my goal to make you happy."

She nodded with a soft smile and nestled into his arms. "Her name was Stacie and she was the first girl to ever want to be my friend. She lived down the street so we saw each other a lot. We didn't go to the same school, but we would meet every day after the bell rang and run around the neighborhood together. Stacie always had a smile on her face, even though her life was difficult. Her mother was severely mentally ill and it made for a rough environment at home, so we would go to the park and play... swing... do anything to keep her mind off the things happening at her house."

"That's sad. I've never known anyone with mental illness, but from what I've heard, it's pretty rough."

Faith was quiet for a moment. "I bet you have and you just don't know it."

"I imagine I'd know it. I'm pretty perceptive."

She looked into his eyes. "What do you think? Everyone with a mental illness has a sign on their forehead that says 'watch out, I'm crazy'?"

"No. But severe mental illness is easy to spot."

"Really?"

"Sure. Crazy people tend to talk to themselves." He laughed a little.

She smirked. "This may come as a surprise to you, but many severe mental illnesses can be taken care of with medication and the people afflicted can live perfectly normal lives."

"Sounds like you know someone who has taught you about it."

Faith nodded. "You could say that."

"Well, I stand corrected." He squeezed her. "What happened with Stacie?"

"We were very close, shared everything with each other. She totally understood me, related to who I was, and I became very attached to her. We were best friends for over a year and then one day... she just disappeared."

"What do you mean? She moved?"

Faith shrugged. "One day she was gone with no explanation. I went to her house but no one answered. She didn't come to our meeting spot anymore and there was nothing I could do about it. So, just like that, the only friend I ever had was gone."

"How old were you?"

"Ten. The next week I saw a news report with her picture. She had drowned at the lake. I was devastated and shut myself off, never wanting to be hurt like that again. She was the only person who'd ever cared enough about me to invest herself and... it hurt like hell to lose her."

His heart hurt at the sound of her voice. "I'm so sorry, Faith."

She looked into his eyes. "I suppose that's why I haven't had any good friends since then. I've been afraid. Maybe that's why I'm so scared of losing you. You're the only person I've allowed myself to get close to in a very long time."

He felt more than lucky. Overwhelmed that the stars aligned in such a way that she chose him. "Well, I'm glad you opened up to me. I can't imagine my life without you."

"Your turn. Tell me something I don't know about you. Anything."

There were so many things she didn't know about him, it was hard to find just one. As he thought, she sank into his arms again. Her hand swept back and forth over his chest.

"You are so sexy." She grunted then kissed the center of his chest.

He chuckled slightly. "Thank you. One of the reasons I started working out was my sister."

Surprised she looked at him. "Please don't tell me anything disturbing about forbidden love."

"Oh God, no! I was so annoyed by her when she was little. I liked being the only child, and when she came along, it cramped my style big time. But when she started to change from my annoying little freckle-faced sister into this semi-woman complete with big boobs, I became protective. I was at a party one night and she showed up. A guy from a different school started messing with her, but he was three years older than me and very large. I wanted to kick his ass but I didn't have what it took. I was able to distract him long enough for her to get out of there, but I ended up getting pummeled. I made a promise to myself that night not to ever lose a fight again... for my sister's sake. I can't even imagine something happening to her and me not being able to stop it."

She turned her back into him and leaned on him. His arms wrapped around her and she settled comfortably. "You are really sweet."

"Shh, don't tell anyone."

"It's our secret," she replied.

A perfect opening to try to find out what she's been holding back. "Do you have any secrets you've never told anyone?" I hope you tell me whatever it is. Please tell me.

"I don't know. I'm not really a good secret keeper. I kinda have a big mouth."

He tickled her. "And I like your big mouth. It's very talented." She wiggled a little as she laughed. "But seriously, got any secrets?"

"Do you?"

A deflection. I have to think of a good one... then maybe she will tell me hers. "Actually, I have a few. But if I tell you one, you have to promise to tell me one of equal proportion."

She took his hand in hers and played with it. "Deal."

He sighed. "I can't believe I'm going to tell you this... I've never told a soul."

"I won't judge. I promise."

"Okay... here it goes." He paused. "My mom made me learn... to... crochet."

She leaned forward and slowly turned to look at him. "Are you kidding?"

He shook his head.

"You, the most manly man I've ever met... knows how to crochet?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes. It's horrible, isn't it? I understand if you want to run for the hills."

She laughed. "I know there has to be a story."

He nodded. "Of course. After my stepfather died, she was really sad. Everyone told her she needed to get a hobby and the big thing at the time was crochet. She learned, but then it ended up making her feel lonelier, so she asked me if I would do it with her. How could I say no? I mean, really. I made her swear not to tell a soul though. To this day, you are the only one who knows... my sister isn't even privy to that info."

"Aw, that is so sweet. And I feel special. Will you make me a scarf?"

He poked her for teasing him. "No way. No evidence."

She settled back into him and sighed. "You really are a sweetheart."

He kissed the side of her face, hopeful she would trust him enough. "Your turn."

A sigh opened up a long silence as she bit her lip. "Lucas..."

"Yes."

"I lied to you about something."

Not expecting to hear those words at all, he was taken aback. "Okay."

"Please don't be mad at me." She turned her head into his neck and closed her eyes.

He rubbed her arms but didn't say anything.

"That medicine you asked me about..."

"Yes." His heart skipped a beat as fear prickled him. Medicine... illness... terminal cancer... please, God, no.

"It's not a preventative for my headaches."

He leaned his head into hers and closed his eyes. "Okay."

"I take it for..."

He hung on every syllable.

"Depression."

He could breathe finally as relief saturated his very being. "Oh. That's not that unusual, Faith. Many people take medication for depression. Why didn't you just tell me?"

He felt her shrug. "Are you mad?"

"No, baby. I'm not mad, but you don't ever have to lie to me. I want you to be comfortable telling me anything and everything."

She turned into him with a hug. "I'm sorry. One of the reasons I have been so emotional lately is that... I've been missing my medication and that really messes up my chemical balance."

"Why aren't you taking your medication?"

"I'm supposed to take it every night at 10:00 when I go to bed, but ever since you came along, my schedule has gotten off and sometimes I forget or take it late."

This totally made sense. He kissed her forehead. "Well, don't do that anymore. You've got to take care of yourself."

"I know. I think I'm going to switch to taking it in the morning. That might work better, although it makes me kind of tired which is why I take it at night."

"Or I could just help you remember," he offered.

She smiled. "Taking it at night really is much better for me, so if you're willing to help me, I'd love that."

Immediately he grabbed his phone off the bedside table and set a daily reminder. "I am going to be your medication Nazi from now on."

"I am so sorry for my behavior of late. Please, don't give up on me."

He shook his head. "Not a chance."

"Thank you for all your patience."

"Patience is my forte so you don't need to worry." He smiled at her. "I guess there are a lot of things we don't know about each other yet." He kissed the top of her head.

"Do you think we know enough about each other?"

"What do you mean?"

"Enough to make it?" she clarified.

"Oh, we're gonna make it. As far as I am concerned, there is no choice. You know my deep dark secret now... so it HAS to work."

Leaning her head to his she grinned. "I love you."

"Right back at you."

WEDNESDAY, DAY 20

IT WAS DIFFICULT to go back to reality after spending such an incredible day with Lucas doing nothing but telling each other stories of their lives and having incredible sex. Nothing felt better than his hands on her, his lips on hers, his hips pressing between her legs.

As wonderful as it was, disappointment surrounded her.

Depression? Did I really tell him I have depression? What the hell is wrong with me? I covered a lie with another lie. I'm only making this worse... once the truth comes out... he is never going to trust me again.

THURSDAY, DAY 21

THIS WAS GOING to be the first time Lucas saw Faith's parents since the night they walked in on him and Faith making out. Lucas would probably never forget the look on her father's face and that memory alone made him nervous for this dinner.

She assured him they would be nice to him and she was correct. He received a warm welcome, even from her father. All of them just tried to pretend the last meeting had not occurred, although there was no doubt it had.

All the normal questions were asked of Lucas; where he worked, where he was from, what he liked to do in his free time and such. Lucas even got to answer the question of how they met. He liked telling that story as it made him look like a hero. Lucas could tell her father liked it too.

When dinner was finished, Faith went to the kitchen with her mother to help with the dishes while George invited Lucas to the living room to relax with him. Completely at ease, Lucas was surprised by the private man-to-man conversation George decided to initiate.

"Lucas, you seem like a really nice guy. I mean that, but I can't pretend I didn't see what I saw the other night."

Embarrassed and not quite sure what to say, he went with an obvious choice in his response. "Yes, sir, I understand and I apologize."

"My daughter is very special to me and I need you to understand that. She isn't like everyone else, she's different. She's sensitive, even though she acts tough, and I hope whatever is going on between the two of you is on the up and up."

I'm getting a dad lecture. "I understand, Mr. Quinn. I want to assure you I have nothing but the best intentions with your daughter. She is amazing and I would never do anything to hurt her."

"Good intentions are great, Lucas, but it's what you do that matters. And sometimes it's what you don't do which matters most."

Faith and her mother returned before he had a chance to respond.

Faith sat down next to Lucas. "I hope my father was being nice to you." She looked at her dad. "Were you being nice, Dad?"

Lucas nodded his head. "Yes, of course."

"I was just telling Lucas here what a special girl you are."

Faith cut him off quickly. "I'm not that special, Dad!"

"She graduated from high school a year early. Did you know that, Lucas?"

"No, sir, I did not." Lucas looked at her. "You are just full of surprises."

Her dad couldn't stop himself from being a father. "I hope you two are being smart."

Oh no! A safe sex lecture. Please, God, not that!

Luckily, Faith interrupted, "Well then... I think we should be going." She stood up, taking Lucas's hand in hers. "Thanks for having us over for dinner."

"Yes, thank you very much. It was really nice to get to know you." Lucas held his hand out to George to shake.

Faith rushed them out, looking embarrassed.

Once in the car, he heard her breathe a sigh of relief. "Thank God we're out of there. My dad was about to start a lecture... I would have died."

Guilt washed over him. "I don't know, maybe we need a lecture. We haven't been behaving very well lately, have we?" Turned out what her father said to him had him feeling remorseful. Those words passed through his head... Sometimes it's what you don't do that matters most. "I haven't been very respectful to you and... I'm sorry."

Stunned she spoke, "You're kidding, right?"

"Actually, I'm not."

Her face went forward, her jaw tightened, and her eyes narrowed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to upset you. I just..." He reached for her hand.

She interrupted him, slapping his hand away from her. "No, it's okay. We don't ever have to have sex again. I'm sure my dad would be proud." And there she went being stubborn again. Eyes on her parent's house, she spoke sarcastically, "Thanks, Dad, for making my boyfriend not want to have sex with me! You're the best!"

"That's not what I meant."

"Whatever," she said, looking forward. "Just take me home."

He put the car in drive and pressed the gas pedal. "Sometimes I think you like being mad at me."

Tears filled her eyes.

Damn it! "I was just... trying to say if you felt like I didn't respect you, even if just a little bit deep down inside, I'd understand. Your dad was right... you are special and you deserve to be treated that way."

Her voice quivered and it pained him. "Just being with you makes me feel special. The way you look at me, the way you talk to me, the way you smile. YOU make me feel special, so if that's what you're going for, you've hit your mark." He watched her wipe tears out of the corner of her eyes. "But when we make love, that's when I feel the most special. I feel loved and cared for in a way I've never felt before. I'm sorry if it makes you feel sleazy." She wiped a few more tears and turned away from him. "And just for the record, I don't like being mad at you at all. I hate it."

Now he really felt sleazy. Sleazy for wanting to sleep with her, sleazy for not wanting to sleep with her. He couldn't win. The one thing he did know for sure was she was crying and that made his heart hurt.

It was snowing and the sun was almost gone for the day. He looked to the horizon and saw beauty in the midst of their argument. He realized there was a kind of beauty in the midst of their sin as well. Why did this have to be so difficult?

"I'm sorry I'm so stubborn and get mad so easily."

Her apology surprised him. He reached for her hand again and this time she gave it to him.

She continued, "I do understand what you mean, it's just hard not to take it personally. I love being with you; having sex with you. I love feeling and knowing I'm loved by you."

He kissed her hand. "You are loved. Very much." He ignored her request for him to take her home and parked in his apartment lot. "I couldn't stop making love to you even if I tried. It's just something I have to do. And I love it."

"I don't want to make you feel sleazy."

He leaned into her personal space. "You don't. I promise." He kissed her gently. "I love you and there is no better way for me to let you know."

FRIDAY, DAY 22

LUCAS WAS INVITED to join his friends at the bar. He wanted Faith to join him so his friends could meet her, but he understood her anxiety a lot better now than he had in the beginning. He invited her but wasn't surprised when she declined. Hoping she wouldn't be upset with him for going without her, he texted her before leaving work.

L: You sure you don't mind?

F: Not at all, have fun with your friends

L: Leah might be there but you don't have to worry

F: I know, I decided to trust you, remember?

L: I remember :) Thank you

F: Will you come stay with me tonight?

L: Try to stop me

F: Don't drink too much, if you need a ride, call me

L: No worries, not a big drinker

F: See you later tonight

L: Bye, baby

He missed Faith, but had to admit it was nice to hang out with his friends for a little while. Since meeting the love of his life, he hadn't made much time for other people. Knowing this wasn't really the healthiest way to live didn't matter, as his focus was clearly her. He saw his best friend, Donovan, every day as they worked together. In fact, he worked with most of his friends.

They ribbed him about the new woman in his life, saying he was whipped by an invisible girl. The teasing went all the way from him having an imaginary friend, to Faith being a blow-up doll, to her being so fat and ugly he didn't want anyone to meet her.

Around 11:30, he received a strange text message from her.

F: Don't come over tonight. Just go home when you're done

Oh no. Did I make her mad?

L: Why?

F: Just trust me and go home. I love you. Have fun

L: Are you okay?

F: Yes. No need to worry

Ha. Yeah, right. She doesn't get to change plans like that and tell me not to worry.

L: Where are you?

F: With my mom. I have to go. I love you

With your mom? What? He knew something was wrong.

L: Wait - what happened?

She didn't answer.

L: Where are you? I want to come to you

Still nothing. He looked around the bar feeling overwhelmed with worry.

L: I'm worried, text me when you get this

He had one last thing he needed to say.

L: I love you

Midnight hit and he wasn't in the mood to be with his friends any longer. All he could think about was Faith. Excusing himself from the bar, he drove to her apartment hoping she would be there, but no one answered the door. He waited for about an hour then decided to go home and wait to hear from her. He fell asleep on the couch waiting for a text or call.

SATURDAY, DAY 23

HER EYES OPENED. A woman rushed to her side as she attempted to sit up.

"Just take it easy, honey."

Intense body aches invaded her. She looked at the woman. "Where am I? Who are you?"

"I'm your mother, dear. Just try to relax."

Faith was confused and felt irritated. Scared. "I don't know who you are. Where the hell am I? If you're my mother... why don't I remember you?"

"Take a deep breath, Faith. You need to stay calm or they'll strap you to the bed. You're at the hospital and you'll remember everything soon. Just be patient."

Anger and fear rose in her core as panic spread through her limbs. "I need to get out of here. I need to..." She started to get out of bed but the woman tried to stop her.

A struggle ensued. "Please calm down, Faith."

"No! I will not calm down. I don't know who you are or where I am... I want out of here!"

The door flew open and two men dressed in white rushed in. One took control of her arms, the other her legs, and forced her to lay down on the bed. She kicked and screamed, fighting as hard as she could, but they were too strong. Quickly, they restrained her with the leather straps on the sides of the bed. A nurse rushed in with a needle in hand, but Faith's mother stopped her. "Please don't. She just needs to remember and she'll be fine. Give her a few moments."

"Mom!" Faith yelled as she began to cry.

"See, she remembers now. Let's just see if she can calm down without that." Faith's mom went to her side and looked down into her eyes. "It's okay, sweetie. I'm here."

Sobbing, her muscles went limp. "Please let me out of these. I don't need them. I swear."

The two orderlies stood looking down at her.

"Just relax, dear. Calm down and they will let you out. Just breathe."

Several deep breaths later, the two men in white removed the straps from her wrists and ankles. Faith sat up slowly then went to her mom for a hug.

"It's okay, sweetie, just relax."

Faith nodded then released her mom. "What happened?"

"You called me last night to let me know you were having symptoms. I got there as fast I could and you were already in the throes of it. It was a bad one, so your father and I brought you here, hoping they could manage it. Dr. Guiley came right away, and luckily the sedation worked."

Faith looked in her mother's eyes. "Thanks, Mom. I'm sorry."

"Oh, sweetie. You don't have to apologize. It's nothing you can control." She looked at all the extra people in the room. "She's fine now, you can all leave. Please tell Dr. Guiley she's awake."

A panic went through Faith as her thoughts went to Lucas. "Where's my phone, Mom?"

Mrs. Quinn dug it out of her purse.

Faith grabbed it. Seeing his unanswered messages made her heart sink.

L: Wait - what happened?

L: Where are you? I want to come to you

L: I'm worried, text me when you get this

L: I love you

What am I going to tell him? I have to answer him but what do I say?

F: Hi Lucas

There was a slight pause before he answered.

L: Holy crap, Faith! Are you okay? Where are you?

F: I'm fine

L: I'm coming over right now

F: No, I'm not home

L: Where are you then?

She paused, not wanting to tell him but she also didn't want to lie.

F: The hospital

L: WHAT? Why... are you okay?

F: I'm fine, really. I'll come over as soon as I can

L: I'm coming to the hospital, now

F: Please don't, I'll be out of here soon, I'll come to you

L: No! I'll be there in ten minutes

F: NO LUCAS! I'm serious. Don't you dare come here

L: Why?

F: I'm getting ready to leave

L: Fine. I'll head to your place

She had no idea what condition her apartment was in.

F: No. Stay home. I'll head over as soon as I can

L: You better

F: I will

L: Oh, Faith, I love you so much. I was so worried

F: I love you too, don't worry, I'm fine

Dr. Guiley entered the room.

F: I need to go. I love you

L: I love you too. I better see you soon

F: You will - bye

It took some convincing, but Dr. Guiley finally signed her release papers after keeping her under observation for another hour. Getting out of there to see Lucas was the only thing on her mind and the longer it took to make that happen, the more explaining she was going to have to do.

Her mother drove her home where she found her apartment completely wrecked. Her body ached like hell and a long hot shower helped a little. Once dressed, exhaustion hit her. Cleaning up would have to wait. Driving over to Lucas's apartment was priority. Getting out of the car and climbing the stairs felt inconceivable, but she managed it slowly. Once outside his door, she pressed the doorbell and prepared to hold him off from grabbing her.

The second the door opened her hands went up. Stepping back from his lunge to hug her, she spoke, "I'm really sore, Lucas. You have to be gentle with me, okay?"

Nodding, he looked her over as though checking for missing body parts. "What the heck happened? Why didn't you call me?"

"I'm fine, Lucas. But I need to sit down."

"Of course..." He held his hand out to her.

His touch felt nice as he gently led her to the couch. Sitting down slowly, pain overcame her. She closed her eyes and leaned back.

He sat close, taking her hand back in his. "What happened?"

She sighed, wishing the truth could just come out. "Can we just... I mean... I'm exhausted. Can we talk about it later?"

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't want to bother you while you were with your friends. It wasn't a big deal."

"That's ridiculous, Faith. I was so worried. You scared me to death." He slid to her and gently kissed the top of her head. "Can I hug you?"

"Gently, yes."

Even though his touch was light, her skin felt crushed. Tolerating the discomfort was difficult but needed to be done. Oh God, help me hold him off. Help me keep him from trampling me.

He spent the day being overprotective of her, but she welcomed the attention. No one had ever made a fuss like that over her before. Special... I feel so special to him.

SUNDAY, DAY 24

LUCAS WOULDN'T LET her leave his sight. Just an oversized t-shirt, which smelled like him, draped her body. He was eagerly awaiting the relief of her pain so he could take advantage of her lack of underwear. Just as she was about to give him the go ahead, her phone rang. The screen read "Dr. Guiley". Her heart raced. What would cause him to call her on a Sunday afternoon? It was no doubt something important.

"Hello."

"Faith, hi, it's Dr. Guiley. I'm sorry to bother you on the weekend but I have something I need to discuss with you. Can you come to my office first thing tomorrow morning?"

Faith didn't like the sound of this. "Is it something you can tell me now?"

"I'd prefer to speak to you in person, dear." He was a sweet man and they had worked together for years, since she was a child.

"Okay, I can come in first thing. Is everything okay?"

"Your test results from yesterday showed something I need to discuss with you. I will see you in the morning, Faith. We'll talk about it then. Try to relax and have a good day."

"Okay, thanks, Dr. Guiley." She hung up, feeling complete dread.

Lucas was right there and asked her what the doctor wanted, but she didn't have any real answers for him. Preoccupied with fear for the rest of the day, her heart throbbed dully. Was it a relapse? Would this be the end of her and Lucas? Scared to death, making love to him filled the rest of the day and evening.

MONDAY, DAY 25

F: I need to see you

L: Feeling frisky again?

F: No. I have to talk to you

Lucas began to worry.

L: What's wrong? Are you okay?

F: No, I'm not. Can you come over?

L: I'll be there as soon as I can

F: I love you, Lucas

L: I love you too. You're scaring me

F: I'm scared too

His boss was fine with him leaving, but he had to finish what he was working on first. He arrived at her place about thirty minutes after their last text. The door was unlocked, so he walked right in. She was pacing with her finger in her mouth. "I came as quick as I could, are you okay?" The door closed behind him.

Her eyes were pained and close to tears. Quickly, he wrapped himself around her. Damn it! I can't take it when her face looks like that. I have to fix it. "What's wrong? What can I do?" He held her tightly, his hand on the back of her head.

"I have to tell you something." She pushed herself away, and he saw tears in her eyes. "I have to tell you something, and I'm scared it will change everything."

He wanted to hold her in his arms, but she pushed him away.

Her hands went over her face. "I don't know how to tell you this."

Touching her waist, he begged for resolution. "Just say it. Whatever it is, it will be fine. I promise."

Her head shook. "No, it's not. It's not going to be fine."

"You're scaring me, sweetie. Just tell me."

"I'm pregnant."

Her words hit him hard. Letting them bounce around in his head for a moment before looking at her, many thoughts came to him.

Pregnant. A part of me wanted this... but not for the right reasons. I wanted it so she would have to be mine, so she would never be able to escape the bond we have... but... it's not what I really want. Now that it might be real, damn it, it's not what I want at all. I'm not ready.

He placed himself in her shoes momentarily; she thought he was going to leave her. No wonder she was scared. Regardless of what he felt, he had to settle her mind. He took a deep breath then touched the side of her face. "It's okay. We will figure it out. Together."

Crying, she stepped into him. His arms went around her as he stood stunned by this game changer.

"We're in this together, remember?" he said supportively.

"I can't have a baby, Lucas."

His heart ached for her. Support was what he had to offer. "I know it seems that way right now, Faith. It's not what you wanted, but you can. I promise you, you can do it. We can do it together. It's not what we planned but it will be fine."

Pushing him away forcefully, her eyes narrowed. "It's not that simple!"

"Yes it is. Some things are that simple." His arms enveloped her again. "We'll get married. Yes, we'll get married and we'll start our life together as a family... earlier than we thought."

"I don't want you to marry me out of obligation." She pushed him away again.

Damn it, I hate when she shoves me away. It pisses me off. He spoke sternly, "It wouldn't be out of obligation, Faith. You know how I feel about you. I love you."

"You think you love me... but you don't know. You don't know who I really am."

"Have we known each other for years and years? No, but I know you enough to know I love you. I know you, Faith. You're strong and stubborn, you're sweet and sensitive, you're beautiful and filled with life. I know you."

"No, you don't." Wiping tears from her cheeks, her head shook. "There is something I still haven't told you about me. I've wanted to tell you so many times but just couldn't find the right way or time."

Another secret? His heart began racing.

"It all developed so quickly between us, and I didn't mean for this to happen..."

"Tell me, Faith. Tell me." Begging her, he wanted it over with.

"I'm not well."

He felt the blood drain from his face. Petrified for himself as well as the woman he loved, his worst fear was becoming real. She was ill.

"I have an illness that will never go away."

He spoke very calmly even though he was scared to death, "What is it, Faith?"

"It's my brain, Lucas."

Terror consumed him.

"I have a severe mental disorder." Her eyes looked into his. "It's called Oneirophrenia Somatization Psychotic Disorder and the only thing that keeps me sane is my medication. I lied to you. The pills I take... they aren't for depression. They are very strong narcotics that adjust my brain chemistry and make it so I can try to live a normal life."

"What does that mean, Faith? I don't understand."

"It means... it means I will be on medication for the rest of my life. It means even on medication I could lose touch with reality at any time. It means you are dating someone who is extremely unstable and essentially... crazy."

He closed his eyes while he processed her words. "Faith, slow down. This... disorder... is it something that can kill you?"

"No. It's not fatal."

A sigh of relief went through him at first as he realized there was no danger of death. Placing his hands on the sides of her face gently, he spoke, "It's okay, sweetie, you're okay."

"No, I'm not. I'm not who you thought I was. I lied to you. I am... crazy."

"You are not crazy!" He understood she was trying to tell him something serious but he found himself not as concerned with it as she was. "I don't care. I love you. Do you hear me? I love you."

More tears came to her as he told her he loved her again. "I love you too, but you don't understand."

She is killing me! I have to make her stop crying. It's ripping my heart out. He leaned his forehead into hers. "Then make me understand."

She closed her eyes. "I can't promise you I'm going to be same person you think you love even tomorrow."

"I don't care. I know you and I want to marry you and have this baby with you."

She shook her head. "No, you still don't understand."

"I do understand, Faith. It just isn't going to stop me from wanting you. It doesn't change anything."

Pushing him away, she finally came out with it. "I... can't have this baby."

He was quiet for a moment. "What do you mean, Faith?" His heart began to race in his chest as he realized she might not be willing to have the baby they had made together. This was definitely a concern. Was she considering something he absolutely could not get on board with? Could she be considering... abortion?

"I have to make a choice, Lucas. My medication... or... the baby. I can't have both."

Oh, shit. She is thinking about abortion... but not for selfish reasons. His heart was beating faster than it ever had before in his life. "Well, it's simple. You stop your medication while you're pregnant and then after the baby is born, you start up again. Problem solved."

She shook her head. "No. I will lose you. You will see a different side of me and I will lose you. I might even lose myself. The last time I stopped my medication, I nearly went insane. It..." She paused. "It took six months in the psychiatric unit to get me right again. I was trapped inside myself and I don't ever want to feel that way again, Lucas. It was horrible."

Abortion for medical reasons. No, God, please, no. "There's got to be something they can do, a different medicine or therapy that will get you through the pregnancy."

She shook her head. "No, there isn't. And if I take these drugs while pregnant... the baby will not survive. I have to choose and I have to do it fast. I'm running out of time."

I can stand by her. I won't fail her. Eyes to hers, he begged. "You won't lose me, I promise. I can take whatever happens. I'll stand by you, knowing you will be better after it's over when you get back on your medication. Please, trust me. Please, give me that chance. I won't give up on you and I won't give up on us."

More tears flooded her eyes. "I don't think I can do that to myself, Lucas. I don't think I can survive it again. It's horrible."

I can't let her do this to our child! "Faith... there is one thing I know for certain. If you..." A tear escaped his own eye at the very thought. "If you kill our baby, because that is what it would be... murder. If you murder our child, I won't be able to stay with you. You WILL lose me." As the words came out of his mouth, he finally got it. He understood why she was so upset.

A long nod showed her full understanding. Tears flowed freely. "I know, Lucas. I know."

They stood looking at each other, both in tears. His heart ached in his chest as he watched her torturing herself. He felt helpless to fix things.

"I'm so sorry, Lucas. That first night I wasn't even thinking about that, and then when I realized how important it was for us to be careful, I told you we couldn't be stupid but I guess it was too late."

He reached for her and she went to him quickly, sobbing into his chest.

Again, he wrapped his arms around her. He cried with her, knowing one way or another, things were never going to be the same. One of them was going to have to sacrifice greatly, and their new, unfamiliar love for each other might not be strong enough to withstand it.

"Oh God, Faith. I don't know what to say."

She clung to him like she never wanted to let go. "I'm so sorry."

He remembered all of the times she had tried to tell him her secret and his heart sank. Remembering some of his comments made his chest burn. The one that stuck out the most was the night he told her he wasn't sure if their relationship would have lasted had she been crazy. "You tried to tell me... I just... was so stupid." He closed his eyes.

"No. I should have told you before then. Before anything happened between us. I never should have let us go unprotected. It's all my fault."

He kissed the top of her head. "No, sweetie, we're in this together. Please know I love you with all my heart."

"I love you too, Lucas."

MONDAY EVENING, DAY 25

THAT EVENING, THEY sat on the couch holding each other, watching reruns. She longed for simpler days. Her heart ached at the decision she made the night they met; the decision to sleep with him. Had she known then what she knew now... things would be different.

She watched him for a while. He was staring at her belly and running his hand across it lovingly. What a good father he would be. Even if their baby had a crazy mother, it would have a wonderful father. Tears filled her eyes as she thought about what life would be like without Lucas by her side. Sane, yes, but her heart would be destroyed. It seemed like an impossible decision.

Oh God, what is the answer? Help me make the right choice. I am sorry for my sin.

Time to go to bed, they headed to the bedroom. He stripped down to his boxer briefs and t-shirt, then went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Pajamas on, she joined him.

He stood behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her cheek. He whispered in her ear, "I love you, my sweet Faith. I love you more than you can ever imagine. I will always love you, this I know for certain."

She closed her eyes, loving his comforting words. She turned and kissed him. An amazing, sweet, meaningful kiss. When it ended, they looked at each other, both smiling briefly, until they remembered and the smiles disappeared.

They released each other.

As was routine, her hand opened the drawer where she kept her three medicine bottles.

His eyes went to her hands, and she realized her habit was being watched. She stopped herself from opening the first bottle and looked up at Lucas.

I can't live without him. The drawer closed; her decision was made. Quietly, she confessed to it, "I choose our baby. I choose you. But, I'm scared."

He came to her an wrapped his arms around her. Leaning his head into hers, he spoke, "Thank you, Faith. Thank you so much. I'm going to be beside you every step of the way. I promise you, I won't let you down. I won't give up no matter what happens."

"I need you to promise me something. Look me in the eyes and promise me."

"Anything."

"Promise me that if I lose myself... if I go off the deep end and don't return, promise me you will move on with your life." She found it hard to speak through her tears. "Promise me you will find someone else to love and live a long and happy life. I don't want you sitting around waiting for me."

He shook his head. "That's not going to happen, sweetie. You're going to be fine."

"Promise me!"

"If something happens to you, I will not abandon you. I will wait as long as it takes, even if that means waiting forever."

She spoke even more directly, "Lucas, I can't do it unless I know you'll have what you deserve in life no matter what. You have to promise me this. You HAVE to."

He looked deep in her eyes. "It is completely against my will, but I promise you I will do as you asked."

She wiped her tears and pressed her face into his chest. "Will you make love to me and hold me so close I forget where you end and I begin?"

"You couldn't stop me," he said as he lifted her. Her legs wrapped around him as he kissed her lips and carried her to the bed. He lay her down gently and rested himself on top of her. "Your sacrifice means everything to me. I promise you, I won't let you down. I'll do whatever it takes."

After making love, they lay in each other's arms as she had asked, so close it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began.

He twirled her hair in his finger and kissed the side of her head repeatedly. "Can I ask you what it's like? When you're not on your medication?"

She sighed. "My brain starts to hurt, and my arms and legs twitch. I just get cloudy. Soon, I start to imagine things that aren't there, and it's hard for me to know what's real and what isn't. I hear voices. Sometimes I can filter them out, but sometimes I can't. I get really confused, and I can be perfectly rational one second and then completely off the next, so I tend to not make much sense. When it's at its worst, I become trapped inside myself. On the outside I kick and scream and am very irritable, but on the inside I'm in there with no control over what is happening on the outside."

He ran his fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry you have had to deal with that."

"You don't have to be sorry. It is what it is. I've lived with it my whole life so I don't know any different. But I've got to be honest and say I am scared. I like feeling good. I like feeling normal, and when I'm having troubles, it's very painful... physically and emotionally. I don't want to feel that way again. And now that I know..." She looked into his eyes. "Now that I know what it's like to truly love someone and be loved back... I'm terrified of losing it. I've never had that before. Never. If I'm going to lose it, I'd almost rather never have experienced it."

His eyes were sad. "Oh, sweetie, don't say that."

"Why? It's true."

He shook his head. "I'm so thankful I met you. It hurts my heart to think you regret it."

She saw tears come to his eyes and she had to hug him. "I didn't mean it like that. I don't regret meeting you at all. I just don't want to have to be without you, it will hurt so much because I know how incredible life is with you."

He held on to her tightly. "Be honest with me..." He released her slightly so he could look into her eyes. "Is there any chance at all you'll be okay without your medications?"

She could see that he was close to tears, but she couldn't lie to him. She just shook her head.

"What are the chances you'll come out of this exactly the way you are, as good as you feel and are now?" A tear fell down his cheek.

"I asked Dr. Guiley that today." She looked into his eyes and told him the truth. "Based on my past experiences and my rate of escalation... there's only a two percent chance I can get back to where I am now."

He closed his eyes as several tears escaped. "That's so low," he said quietly. "I don't want to lose who you are."

"We just have to have faith that things will be okay. That's all we can do."

He grabbed her, pulling her into a hug as more tears fell down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

"Maybe it won't be too bad. Maybe with you around I'll be able to just be happy and healthy." She smiled at the thought.

"I promise I won't let anything bad happen to you, or to us."

Looking up at him, she knew he had no idea what he was in for. "I wish I'd told you. I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry you've been carrying that secret around with you all this time. I'm sorry about all the things I said that made it worse. Can you forgive me?"

"Of course. It's done and I love you. Can you forgive me?"

"Yes. Not another word about that. It's erased."

"Thank you."

He pressed his lips to hers with intensity, as if to seal their commitment to move on together in freedom from the secret.

TUESDAY MORNING, DAY 26

HIS T-SHIRT FELT nice on her body and smelled of just a hint of his cologne mixed with his scent. She placed her head on his chest, waiting for him to wake. Soon, he was playing with her hair. She sat up. "Get your phone out, please."

He reached for it on the bedside table and sat up next to her.

"I want you to make a video of me. To remind you of who I really am just in case things get difficult."

He held up his phone and started to record her.

"Hi, Lucas, love of my life." She blew a kiss at him. "You and I have had an amazing time together and I don't ever want you to forget it. You have rocked my world time and time again, yet you are still able to surprise me, like you did last night. I want you to know your eyes drive me wild... and your smile... ugh... it gets me right in the center of my chest, especially when your dimple shows. I love your dimple. Just makes my heart melt. You are an amazing man and not a day goes by that I don't wonder why you chose me. I'm the luckiest girl alive and I hope I'll always know it and be able to show you that I feel it." She started to choke up a little. "I love you more than I can say and I promise you, I will fight for us. I will fight to stay with you and get back to you with every part of me. You have my heart, my whole heart, so look at this when things get rough and you're not sure who I am. Hopefully, it will help you remember me and see who I can be. Hopefully, it will help you to keep loving me." Unable to hold her tears back anymore, he dropped the phone down and went to her with a kiss and his loving arms.

She grabbed him tightly and held on for dear life.

He left to get them donuts. She tried to look pretty, even had a little makeup on. Hoping things would feel normal despite the dysfunction.

After they ate, he went to one knee right next to her, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a ring. "It's not at all out of obligation that I ask you to make me the happiest man alive... will you marry me?"

She was speechless.

After several moments of silence, he made a joke. "Would you like to text me your answer later?"

Laughing, she pulled her phone out and sent a text.

F: Yes I'll marry you, now get up you big goofball

His phone pinged. "Hold on a second, I think I have a message."

He read the message and then typed one back.

L: You won't regret it

"That's what they all say."

He stood up, put the ring on her finger, and then kissed her deeply. So deeply that he got distracted and kissed her a lot longer than he meant to. By the time he realized he was getting a little too intense, it was too late.

She pushed him away gently. "You're going to be late for work, and if you stick around here, I'm not going to get any of my work done."

"Already bossing me around and we're not even married yet."

She laughed and pulled him close for a hug. "Thank you for making me laugh... thank you for wanting to make an honest woman of me."

He kissed her forehead. "I'm the one who needs to thank you. I'm eternally grateful for your sacrifice. We are going to have an amazing life together."

An amazing life... together. Those words made her heart feel as though it had wings. The thought of always being with him was overwhelming.

TUESDAY AFTERNOON, DAY 26

HE FOUND HIMSELF very distracted at work. Instead of doing his work, he was reading internet information about Faith's condition. Oneirophrenia Somatization Psychotic Disorder was a very rare combination of multiple severe mental disorders. Oneirophrenia was a hallucinatory, dream-like state, similar to Schizophrenia. It caused prolonged sleep states, delusions, and hallucinations. Somatization was a neurological disorder that caused symptoms such as headaches, joint pain, and twitching, as well as high anxiety and an array of intestinal problems, which usually resulted in major malnutrition. The psychotic piece of the puzzle was a blanket to cover the other symptoms caused by an unknown illness of the mind. Hallucinations, delusions, catatonia, and something called 'Thought Disorder' were bundled under that. Thought Disorder was a term used to describe the disturbance of conscious thought, which affected speech and basic thought processing. It caused loosening of associations, or disconnecting of control of speech and reality.

He read as much as he could about it and found himself feeling scared. There was one website with real, personal stories on it. Some were good and told of how the right medication made all the difference in having a normal life. Other stories weren't as encouraging though. Some people with these disorders never found the right medications, or they did but the meds stopped working. In most of those cases, the person affected had to be institutionalized for life because they were a danger to themselves or others.

One story was about a woman who had been fine for years on medication and then had to go off them because insurance would no longer cover them and she was unable to afford them on her own. Her condition worsened quickly and she slid into a mentally paralyzed state where she had no quality of life at all. She sat in a chair staring out a window for years. Finally, her family was able to get her meds for her again, but even with the reintroduction of medicines, she never came back.

As he thought about Faith and the time he spent with her, she seemed completely normal. Not a hint of all of those symptoms other than some headaches.

The more he read the more he understood why she hadn't told him. It was a fairly serious disorder. When he thought about the night they met, he wasn't sure there had been a good time to tell him that night. And she had tried to tell him many times after. He just said the most insensitive things at the worst times. She was probably scared to tell him after all his insensitive comments, and then the longer it went on, the harder it had been. He understood.

What would it have been like had she told him early on? If he had barely known her and found himself reading what he was reading now, would he have been able to continue seeing her? Or would he have been too afraid and run away? He honestly didn't know.

The symptoms described online were just as she had explained them to him the night before. Thoughts that quickly went from totally normal, sound, rational thinking to the exact opposite. He couldn't imagine her like that. For the most part, she had always been so normal. It was obvious the reason she had seemed okay was because her medicine was working. Her medicine was why she had been the person he had met and fallen in love with. And now that was going to change. His heart became heavy as he realized he wasn't sure she had made the right decision. Shockingly, he wasn't sure he wanted her to choose the baby.

And then there was the further unknown. Would their baby be born with the same disorder? It had no known cause and couldn't be proven if it was genetic or not. And still further, if the baby was born healthy and Faith made it through the pregnancy okay, there was still the possibility that her medication could stop working for her and she would eventually fall apart anyway. Would he ever fully trust her to be alone with their child? Would her illness leave him alone to be the only normal parent?

His phone beeped.

F: If we are going to get married, we should probably do it soon

The thought of marrying her right then scared him, and he was angry with himself for feeling that way.

L: Why?

F: I want it to be a good day, a happy day. For both of us

His heart pounded in his chest. Could he do this? Did he still want to marry her after learning all of this information? Did he still want to marry her if his goal was to have her change her mind and not have the baby? He bowed his head and prayed quickly and hard.

L: Is tomorrow soon enough or shall we head to Vegas tonight? :)

Yes. He could do it. He loved her. He knew who she was and he loved her fully. He had to be the man she deserved him to be. He might even need to be the man who loved her enough to make her change her mind.

F: Vegas? Sounds fun

L: Take the rest of the week off. We're going on a trip!

F: Thank you, Lucas

L: We're in it together

His boss wasn't very pleased when Lucas requested the rest of the week off. In fact, Lucas didn't even really request it. He mostly just told his boss he wouldn't be there. Having been a really good employee, he wasn't too worried about his job though. Reality was, his job situation might need to change soon anyway as Faith might need him to be around more.

After spending a ridiculous amount of money getting their flights to Las Vegas that evening, he packed a bag then headed to her place to pick her up. Covertly, he went to the drawer where she kept her medication and put them in his bag. He was pretty sure he wanted to talk her out of having the baby, even though that meant doing something he couldn't bear.

He sat holding her hand tightly on the airplane.

"I can tell you know," she said.

"Know what?"

"You've done your due diligence and you know all about OSP." She let go of his hand, pushing it away.

He quickly took her hand back in his but he didn't know what to say.

She let go of his hand again. "We don't have to get married. It's okay if you don't want to. I'll understand."

"Stop it!" He took her hand back in his again, this time holding so tight there was no way she could escape him. "I hate it when you push me away like that, so please stop."

She looked at him. "I'm serious. I would totally understand if you want to change your mind. I know it's scary."

He exhaled slowly, looking at her seriously. "You're not getting rid of me. I'm not going to lie; I'm scared. It is a lot more serious than I thought it would be, but the bottom line is I love you. We made this baby together and I can't imagine my life without you. I will do whatever it takes. Even if that means making my own sacrifice."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, I'm not entirely sure... you should have this baby. It means I brought your medication with me hoping to change your mind."

Her face was a mixture of amazement and confusion. "I won't do anything that will make you leave me. I can't."

"I'm not leaving, no matter what you decide." He looked into her eyes as seriously as he could. "That's why we're getting married. Not because of the baby, but because I want you to know without a doubt, I'm not leaving you. So, baby or not... the rings are going on our fingers. I don't want to continue living a sinful life and there is no way I can stop sleeping with you."

Her face went soft.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "You're a good man."

He kissed the top of her head and they sat in silence, awaiting their arrival in Nevada. Damn it, I love her.

DAYS 27 - 47

THEY SPENT A week in Las Vegas and were married. They did their best to have a good time, but some of her symptoms began to surface right away. Mostly twitching and headaches. As he saw her struggle, his desire for her to change her mind grew, but his requests went unanswered.

Returning from Vegas, they both had the very unpleasant task of telling their parents the news.

Lucas called his mother and explained that he and Faith had gotten married. She immediately asked him if she was pregnant and then admonished him for throwing his life away.

Faith's conversation with her parents was only slightly better. He went with her in person to tell them. Her parents became very hurt not to be involved in the wedding. Already upset, news of the pregnancy infuriated them.

Her mother freaked out, demanding she reconsider her pregnancy options immediately. Faith didn't want to hear it and stormed out of their house, saying she didn't want to talk to them again until they could be supportive.

His apartment was bigger. It made sense for them to live there, so they relieved themselves of her place and consolidated their lives into his.

He checked on her many times throughout the day, mostly by text and phone. Coming home at lunchtime every day was normal too.

She progressively declined as the medications left her system. She became unfocused and forgetful. The twitches, which had begun in Las Vegas, worsened. Severe headaches were common as well. He massaged her head whenever they came on, and that seemed to help. In addition, her appetite was nonexistent, so he had to make sure she ate. Ten pounds dropped off her quickly, then five more. The extra weight she carried in her rear and thighs, which he had found so sexy, was gone. She was emotional but it was hard to tell if that was due to the medication void or the pregnancy. In the end, it didn't matter what the cause. He just had to be supportive.

Despite their new challenges, they found themselves enjoying married life. He liked sleeping next to her every night and her sweet greetings when he got home from work. They made love often, since exploring each other was still at the top of their list of things to do. Their passion for each other had not died down at all; in fact, he found himself all the more protective and passionate for her, knowing that she was carrying his child and making such a huge sacrifice to do so.

Dr. Guiley required an appointment every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and made no bones about not agreeing with her decision to remain pregnant. Lucas went to most of her appointments, wanting to make sure he knew what to expect and what to do for her. Occasionally, Dr. Guiley would ask to speak to him privately so they could discuss how things were progressing without her in the room. So far, discomfort was her only symptom. They were hopeful it would stay that way.

Their first ultrasound was a bit anticlimactic. Lucas wanted to be enthusiastic, but found himself more concerned with Faith's well-being than anything else. The baby just didn't seem like a proper priority to him. Lucas desperately wanted Faith to change her mind.

His life had once been fairly simple, filled with normality and trips to the bar or the movies with friends with not much to worry about on any given day. He used to go to work with a smile on his face and had very little to be concerned about, and now... well, now his life was filled with stress and worry. He felt helpless to stop it. Yes, he loved her, and while he didn't regret meeting her in the least, he did regret the way they had begun. He wished he could go back and do it just a little bit differently.

WEDNESDAY, DAY 48

IT WAS WEDNESDAY and they were lounging together on the couch, watching television. Lucas was massaging her temples.

During a commercial break, she suddenly shouted, "No!"

"No what?" he asked.

She shouted again, more intensely. "No, I said no!"

He raised his voice to match her intensity. "No to what, sweetie?"

"You asked me if I took the garbage out, and I didn't. So stop asking."

"I didn't ask you anything, Faith. I haven't said a word."

"Yes, you did... you asked me if I took the garbage out like three times just now." She paused then sat up slowly looking at him. Sadness invaded. "Please tell me you did, please."

He stared into her eyes, wishing he could say that he had, but he couldn't. He reached out to her, but she pushed his hand away. Agitated, her hands went over her ears.

Not knowing what to do, he leaned over to try and comfort her, but she screamed, "Don't touch me! Just give me a minute." Soon, she began to ramble. "No, no, no, no, go away, no, no, no, no."

His heart pounded in his chest, sitting immobilized watching her fight something he couldn't see.

She continued to repeat the phrase, "No, no, no, no, go away, no, no."

He sat helpless, as the minutes seemed to tick away like hours.

Finally, she stopped repeating the words and opened her eyes. She pressed her face into his chest. His arms went around her quickly. "It's okay," he said supportively.

"The voices are starting." She crawled into his lap for shelter and clung to him.

"I've got you, it's okay." Having never experienced anything like this before, he was frightened for her but wanted to show strength. "It's not real, sweetie. Just focus on what's real. Me and you."

After a deep breath, she nodded. "Just me and you."

He wanted to make her laugh. "That's right. You know I'm real because I'm the one who makes you cry out loud to the Lord every night."

The sound of a slight laugh was music to his ears. "You do, that is true."

"If it will help you feel better, I'd being willing to do that for you now."

Another magical laugh. "You're so kind to offer yourself up that way."

He made her rest her head in the crook of his neck. "Just relax. I've got you and you have nothing to worry about."

Another deep breath. After a few moments of silence, she spoke again, "Lucas?"

"Yes, sweetie."

"I know this is new for you and it's probably going to freak you out. But... please don't leave me," she begged. "Please don't give up on me."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, see?"

She slowly looked up at him and wiped her cheeks.

"You're stuck with me." He showed her his wedding ring. "Forever. Any time you think you need me to distract you... you let me know and I will do my best to get you screaming to God as loud as you can."

She laughed as she nodded. "Right. Ring. Forever." She was dazed and he could tell.

"You okay now?"

She nodded slowly and looked around the room. "I think I better take the trash out."

She already forgot. Oh, my poor, poor Faith. "No, I did it already. You can just sit here and relax with me."

She looked into his eyes, nodded, and laid her head back into his neck. He brushed her hair with his hand to soothe her. He felt her relax against him.

I need to show her support and calmness, but holy crap... I am anything but that. I'm terrified and I want her to change her mind right now.

"Sweetie."

"Yes."

"Don't get upset with me, but I really think you should consider going back on your medication." He spoke as sweetly as he could, "I don't want you to have to go through this."

"We've already had this conversation, Lucas. I will handle it the best I can, for the baby."

Oh boy, here we go. "I don't want you to have to handle it. I want you to be happy and healthy, and your medicine does that for you. I think we need to... let the baby go."

She separated from him, sitting straight. "I can't do that."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Me? You think I won't love you anymore?"

Her arm twitched and pain came to her brain. Grabbing her head, she squinted.

He pulled her to him quickly. "Just relax. I don't want to stress you out by talking about this, but trust me when I tell you, I'm not going anywhere." He pointed to his wedding ring again. "I want you to go back on your meds. I want us to... terminate. I think it's the best thing for all of us."

"You said it yourself; you wouldn't be able to stay with me if I did that."

"That was then. This is now. I changed my mind," he replied.

"So, you don't want our baby?"

Oh, Faith, I want our baby more than anything... but I want you more. "That's not what I said. It's just that if I have to choose... I choose you. I love you." Tears came to his eyes as he gritted his teeth. "I hate to see you hurting. You deserve to be happy." He paused, getting his emotions under control. "Please say you will consider it."

"You love me that much?"

He couldn't hold his tears in when he heard her question. "Yes, I do. I don't need to have babies, I just need you."

She nodded.

"So you'll think about it?"

"I'm just afraid of what God will think. He creates all life, and He never makes a mistake. It's His job to decide who stays and who goes."

"We had no business doing what we did the night we met. It was outside of God's design, it was sin. Our sin has created our circumstances."

"But it is wrong to sin just to cover another sin. I can't see how terminating this life in my belly isn't murder, no matter the reason. If God doesn't want us to have this baby, it's His job to terminate it, not ours."

Lucas knew she was right, but felt there were extenuating circumstances. God would understand and would forgive both of them. "Just promise me you'll think about it."

She nodded. "I'll ask God what He wants."

That was when Lucas realized something important. He had prayed about what he wanted many times, but he had never asked God what He wanted. That needed to change.

MONDAY, DAY 53

WHEN LUCAS LEFT for work, she seemed fine. He gave her a kiss just as he always did and told her he would see her at lunchtime.

He texted her at 9:00 a.m.

L: How's my girl?

F: I don't know, why don't you ask her?

L: I am asking her

F: No, ask your OTHER girl

L: I only have one girl, you

F: You are a liar

His heart pounded. Oh, crap. She's not well and I'm not there to help her.

L: What's going on, my love?

F: You're cheating on me

L: I would never cheat on you, I love you

F: Liar. He told me what you did

L: Are you hearing voices?

There was a long pause.

L: Are you there?

F: I'm so confused. My head hurts really bad

L: I'm coming now. I love you

She was on the floor in the living room holding her head when he came in the front door. After attempting to wake her for several minutes with no success, he carried her to bed. Having never been unable to wake her, the absolute worst went through his head... catatonia.

On his knees on the floor beside the bed, he began to pray.

Please God, I am begging You... wake her up. Give me the chance to love her for another day.

She began to stir. He popped up from his knees and sat at her side. Eyes closed, she mumbled something and then began talking about random nonsense. He sat listening, holding her hand, hopeful she would be okay in a few moments.

Her eyes opened slowly.

"Hey, sweetie." He kissed her hand. "I'm here. How do you feel?"

Yanking her hand from his grasp, she struggled to sit up. "I want to go home. I don't want to be here with you."

He tried to get her to lie back down. "You are home, Faith. We live here together."

She started to cry. "No! I don't want to be here. I want to go home."

He took her face in his hands making her look into his eyes. "Faith, focus on what's real. You and me. Just you and me."

Her eyes closed as sobbing began.

"Oh, sweetie, what can I do?"

She shook her head. "I don't know you. I don't know what's real."

"Look at me," he said intensely. Her eyes opened, her face close to his. "I'm real, Faith. Me... I am real. My love for you is real." He kissed her lips several times. "See... I'm real. Focus on me."

She nodded. "You're real."

"Yes. There is no one else here but you and me. So anything else... is not real. It's just you and me."

"There's a voice. He said..."

"It's not real, Faith. It's not real."

"He says you don't love me. He says you're cheating on me and you're going to leave me."

He shook his head. "That is not real. He is not telling you the truth. I love you more than my own life, we are married and I would never cheat on you or leave you. Do you hear me?"

She nodded. "He is not real."

"That's right. I'm real. He isn't." He kissed her lips again, still holding her face close to his.

Her attitude changed quickly. "You are very handsome. I'm glad you're real."

He smiled. "I'm glad I'm real too."

"Are you sure I'm married to you? You are far too good looking for me."

He chuckled as he showed her his wedding ring. "I'm sure." He took both of her hands in his. "Do you know my name?"

She stared blankly at his face for a moment. "I do, but I can't make myself say it. It's in my head but it won't come out." She tried again. "Don't tell me. I know it."

"How are you feeling?"

Looking around the room, her mind seemed to clear up a little. "Lucas."

"That's right. Lucas."

She smiled. "Don't you need to be at work?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm right where I need to be. Don't you worry about that."

"I'm sorry." Embarrassment made her cheeks flush. "I don't know what happens to me. I don't know why..."

"Stop it, sweetie. You don't have to apologize or explain."

She leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around her.

"How's your head feeling?"

"Tingles a little, but it's okay." Her hold strengthened on him.

Relieved she was coming back, he closed his eyes. "Good. Did you eat breakfast yet?"

"I don't know. I'm not hungry though."

"Well, you're never hungry. What do you think you could force down? You name it and I'll get it for you."

Thinking made her pause. "Nothing even seems remotely appetizing to me."

This was a conversation which plagued them often; one he didn't understand at all, but he managed to pull his patience forward to remain supportive and calm. "Try to think of something. Anything... even if it's not good for you."

She inhaled his scent and sighed. "I love you."

"I love you too, and that is why you have to eat. You might disappear if you don't eat."

"I'm not going to disappear." Releasing him, she tried to get up. "I think I'm going to take a bath. You can go back to work if you want to."

He stopped her. "No, you are going to eat before you do anything! And I'm not going back to work today. So... food... what do you want?"

"Fine. French fries and pecan pie."

It made him grin. "Seriously? I guess you are pregnant."

She smiled, sweetly rubbing her belly. "Yes, I am. With your sweet little baby."

Surprised how her words affected his soul, for the first time he felt happy about the possibility of there being a child born to the two of them. Damn it, I love her. She is carrying my child, our child. A child we created in the throes of passion... my body on hers. Her lips pressed to mine. Her naked glory joined with mine. Amazing. Passion overwhelmed him.

TUESDAY, DAY 54

I HAVE TO SEE him. I have to. I have to apologize.

Faith drove madly to his office building and then ran inside without even stopping at reception. The insatiable need to tell him exactly what was happening in her head made her unable to think rationally.

There was an African American male sitting across the desk from Lucas but Faith ignored him. "I am so sorry, Lucas. I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!"

Lucas rose from his chair while looking at the gentleman across from him. "Pardon us, Donovan. Can you give us a moment?"

Faith went to Lucas, begging for forgiveness. He closed his office door. Then his hands were on the sides of her face. "What's going on, sweetie? Slow down."

"I made you do it... It's my fault and I want to fix it."

"I don't understand, Faith. What did you make me do?"

"Forgive me, please. I was so selfish. I made you do it. We can fix it and you can get what you really want. I'm so sorry."

"Slow down. What are you talking about?"

"You... and me."

"What about us, Faith?"

Her eyes filled with tears. "I made you marry me. It's all my fault, and now you won't ever be able to find someone better. You're stuck with me. You'll never love again. I ruined everything for you. Please forgive me... I'll ask for an annulment... I will make things right."

His arms wrapped around her. "Oh, Faith. Stop. You didn't make me do anything."

Crying into his chest, more spilled out. "Yes, I did. I trapped you in this sham of a marriage and you don't deserve this."

"Stop, Faith. You didn't trap me. Our marriage is not a sham... I love you and I wanted to marry you."

"You have to say that."

He forced her to look at him. "No. I don't have to say anything. I am a man with free will. I didn't have to marry you and I don't have to tell you I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

Feeling embarrassed, she nodded, getting her tears under control. "I'm such a mess, Lucas. My head... it just... I'm sorry."

He kissed her forehead then hugged her. "No apologies."

WEDNESDAY, DAY 55

"PROMISE ME YOU will eat every last thing on that plate!" Lucas said as he prepared to leave for work.

She looked at the clock. "You're leaving early today."

"Promise me you'll eat it all."

"I promise."

He smiled. "I'll be back at lunch. If you start feeling weird, I want you to contact me right away. Don't wait. Okay?"

She stared.

His coat was almost on. "Okay?"

She nodded with a hint of irritation. "Yes, sir."

"Why are you displeased?"

"Sometimes I feel like I'm living with my parents again."

Her comment could have annoyed him. But instead, he put his hand to her chin and laid a passionate, deep kiss on her. "Did you experience anything like that when you lived with your parents?"

"No, I did not."

"Okay then. You have a good morning and I will see you in a few hours."

She grinned. "Now I don't want you to go."

He zipped up his coat. "Hold that thought, my dear. I'll be happy to give you a little more when I come home for lunch... but only after you eat." Winking, he gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Well, that's one way to make sure I eat; sexual bribery."

"Whatever it takes. Love you."

"Love you too."

Hoping the day would prove to be uneventful for Faith, he did all his normal check-ins with her on the hour. At home for lunch, he watched her eat a sandwich before making good on his promise from the morning. She quickly sequestered him to the bedroom for the remainder of his lunch break.

Back at work, he checked in on her again.

L: I enjoyed lunch today, and I don't mean the sandwich ;)

She didn't answer.

L: You there?

Still no answer. He wanted to give her a few moments before calling.

His phone rang. It was Faith. Odd. She always texted first.

"Hi, Faith. You okay?"

"I'm so sorry to bother you."

"You're not bothering me." He could hear panic in her voice.

"I know I'm the only one here but..."

"Are you hearing someone?"

"Yes. It will probably be okay but you told me to call if anything happened."

"I'm glad you did. I'm coming home so just relax. Okay?"

"What about work? Aren't they going to get mad?"

"It's fine. I want you to go lie down in bed right now and relax. I will be there soon."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"I'm glad you called. See you soon."

As he was getting in his car, his phone rang again. It was Faith.

"Yes, dear."

"I don't want you to come home."

Concerned, he shook his head. "Why?"

"I don't want to see you. He told me what you did and I don't want to see you." She started to cry. "How could you?"

The doctor said the voices would combine with paranoia but Lucas hadn't thought it would be about him cheating. He had never cheated on anyone in his life and he certainly wasn't planning to start... not on her. He loved her more than he could possibly say. "Faith, he isn't real."

"I don't want to see you. Tell the truth, you were just with her, weren't you?"

He sighed. "No, Faith. I'm not cheating on you. I promise." She hung up on him.

Once there, he ran into their apartment. "Faith," he called as he looked around, but he couldn't find her anywhere.

Finally, he found her in the second bedroom, also known as the empty baby's room. Sitting on the floor curled up with her arms around her legs, she was rocking herself with her back to him.

"Faith." He knelt down beside her.

"I told you I didn't want to see you. I know where you've been and I know what you did. Don't even try to lie to me. I know."

He had no idea how to react.

She yelled, "How could you do that to me? How could you?"

"What did I do, Faith? I don't remember. You will have to tell me."

Glaring at him hatefully, she shouted, "You say you love me but you're a liar. You want to get rid of me so you can be with her."

He decided to play along. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe he's the liar, and not me?"

After a quick comprehensive look, she shook her head. "No, he tells me the truth. You lie. You're a liar."

"What did I do, Faith? What did he tell you I did?"

Hands to her ears, she shook her head while screaming. Suddenly, it stopped. Her eyes filled with sadness, she reached for his hand. "I'm sorry."

In her right mind for a moment, he took her hand and squeezed it, pulling her into his chest and wrapping his arms around her tightly. "It's okay. I'm here."

"I don't know what's happening in my head."

His heart ached for her in a way he had never thought possible. In that moment, he was done messing around. If he had to shove the pills down her throat himself, he would do it. He held her tightly and spoke sweetly, "I know. I've got you."

Agitated Faith returned. "Don't touch me! Let me go! You're a liar! He told me about her. He told me how you've been making a fool of me."

Lucas held on to her as tightly as he could as she struggled. "I think he is the liar."

She shook her head and pushed her way free of him. "No, he tells me the truth." Moving away from him, she sat on the floor looking in his direction.

"Tell him he's wrong. Tell him you don't believe him."

She glared. Quickly, she took her wedding rings off and threw them at him as hard as she could. He ducked. "Get out!" she screamed.

"No! I'm not leaving you."

She stood and paced. "Well, if you're not going to leave, then I am."

He stood and followed along, matching her every move, blocking her from leaving.

She started to hold her head again and scream, after which she looked at him with sad eyes. "I'm so sorry, Lucas. I can't make it stop."

He stepped into her, wrapping his arms around her again.

"Don't hate me, don't give up on me, don't leave me."

"Never, sweetie!"

Another struggle began and he knew she was gone. He turned her around, holding her arms down so she couldn't swing at him. It took all of his strength to restrain her. Screaming at the top of her lungs for him to let her go, he held on tight, waiting for her to stop struggling. Eventually, he placed her face down on the floor with his knee in her back.

Her screams changed to sobs and her body shook. When he finally released her arms, she slowly rolled over to her side and covered her face. He gently brushed her hair out of her face.

She nestled into his chest crying. The worst of it seemed to be over and once her tears stopped, she just lay still and silent.

Finally, he made her sit up with him. "Are you okay?"

Confusion covered her face. "I think so."

"Do you know who I am?"

"Yes and no." Her eyes closed. "You're important and I know I know you but..."

"I'm your husband."

She shook her head, eyes opening wide. "No, I don't think so. Someone like you would never marry me."

He laughed. "Why do you say that?"

"Men like you... won't even give me the time of day because I'm broken."

Those words hit his heart like a wrecking ball and he almost lost his breath. Gathering her rings, he spoke, "I am your husband... we got married in Las Vegas and you are pregnant with my baby. Do you remember?" The rings slid on her finger as he kissed her hand.

"An obligatory marriage."

He laughed shaking his head. "No, not at all. I am totally in love with you. And you're pretty hot for me too."

"Hence the baby," she said looking down at her belly and laughing.

He had to laugh too. "Yeah. We kinda got carried away the night we met."

Finally, he saw some recognition as she tilted her head.

"Remember anything yet?"

A nod and then her cheeks reddened. "This is humiliating. I'm sorry. I hope you know how much I love you and I would never really forget you."

"I know, sweetie. Don't even worry about it."

"I know you aren't cheating on me."

"You don't have to explain."

She took a deep breath. "I'm okay now. You can go back to work. I don't want you to get in trouble."

Work was the least of his concerns. Convincing her to choose herself, now that was at the top of the list. It was time for action. Raising her to her feet, he led her to the bathroom. After filling a cup with water, he took her prescription bottles out of the medicine cabinet.

She pulled away from him. "No!"

"Why?" he asked, feeling frustrated.

"It's God's choice!" She stormed out.

He prayed for patience and direction, begging God to take this burden away.

THURSDAY, DAY 56

HER BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAM woke him immediately.

Sitting up rocking herself, she cried, "It hurts, the pain is unbearable... make it stop."

Was she herself or was this an episode? He saw blood as her hand reached for his and panic set in. "What did you do to yourself, Faith?"

"I don't know, but it hurts so bad."

He pulled the sheets back and saw the bed soaked in blood, so much blood he became truly afraid for her life.

He grabbed his phone and dialed 911. The paramedics arrived quickly, but the wait for them seemed never-ending as he sat with her screaming and bleeding profusely. He tried to get her to tell him what she had done to herself but she wouldn't answer.

Once at the hospital, all he could do was wait. After several hours, a doctor finally came out to see him, along with two police officers.

"Lucas Anderson?"

"Yes? How is my wife?"

The doctor spoke, "She's stable."

Relief went through him. "Can I see her?"

Officer Richards spoke, "We need to ask you a few questions, Mr. Anderson. About what happened this evening. Can you come with us?"

This didn't sound good but he wasn't going to argue. "Sure."

The officers led him to a private room and they all sat down at a table.

"Can you tell us what happened tonight?" Officer Richards asked politely.

Lucas spoke carefully, trying to remember it correctly, "There isn't much to tell. We went to bed and she was fine. She woke up screaming and there was blood everywhere. I called 911 and now we're here at the hospital."

"So, you didn't put your hands on her? You just woke up and there was blood everywhere?"

Lucas nodded.

"Your wife told us a different story, Mr. Anderson. She said you beat her and threw her down the stairs."

Wow, she has lost her mind completely. "I... I can't believe this..." He shook his head. "I didn't do anything to her. You have to understand, my wife has a mental disorder and she is going through some episodes right now."

The officers looked at each other.

"I'm serious. Why don't you have the hospital pull her records and you'll see. Or I can call her psychiatrist and he will explain it to you. I swear to you. I didn't touch her. I love her and would never hurt her."

"Can you give us the doctor's number please, so we can check it out."

After giving them the number, the officers left.

What the hell has she done to herself? he wondered. And why is she saying I hurt her? At least she's okay, physically anyway. I had no idea it was going to be like this.

As he sat waiting, her treatment of him bombarded his thoughts. The hateful looks, the physical attacks, the accusations of cheating and lying when all he had ever done was love her. And now interrogated by police. Anger consumed him.

How could she do this to me? How could she have been so careless back in the beginning... she knew her condition and went forward with sex without protection and now I am the one paying for it. I live my life with constant fear and stress while she just sits back being her crazy self.

The video. He grabbed his phone and opened the video she made him record of her so he could remember who she was in the hard times. This was definitely a hard time.

Her smile was so sweet. "Hi, Lucas, love of my life." She blew a kiss at him. "You and I have had an amazing time together and I don't ever want you to forget it. You have rocked my world time and time again, yet you are still able to surprise me, like you did last night. I want you to know your eyes drive me wild... and your smile... ugh... it gets me right in the center of my chest, especially when your dimple shows. I love your dimple. Just makes my heart melt. You are an amazing man and not a day goes by that I don't wonder why you chose me. I'm the luckiest girl alive and I hope I'll always know it and be able to show you that I feel it." She started to choke up a little. "I love you more than I can say and I promise you, I will fight for us. I will fight to stay with you and get back to you with every part of me. You have my heart, my whole heart, so look at this when things get rough and you're not sure who I am. Hopefully, it will help you remember me and see who I can be. Hopefully, it will help you to keep loving me." She began to cry, the phone dropped, and he saw himself going to her with a kiss and loving arms. The video froze. With tears in his eyes, he remembered the woman he loved and let his anger slide away.

Officer Richards returned. "I spoke with Dr. Guiley and he confirmed your story. We'll get you over to see her as soon as we can. Just sit tight."

It wasn't long before he found himself following Officer Richards. They went down one hallway to another then up some stairs and came to an enclosed area with security. Lucas looked at the sign that read, "Psychiatric Facility".

The door buzzed open and then slammed loudly behind them. Down another hall, around a corner and finally, they were there. An orderly opened the door to her room with a keycard and Lucas went in accompanied by the officer.

Faith was lying on the bed seemingly asleep. Her wrists and ankles were strapped in leather restraints with large silver buckles. "Is this really necessary?"

The orderly answered, "Yes, sir, I'm sorry. I know it's hard to see, but she is quite strong and also unpredictable. We have her sedated right now, but when it wears off she will most likely be agitated."

Lucas understood but still didn't like it. Wanting to rip her out of there to take her home, he brushed her hair around the side of her face. So peaceful. "Can you tell me what all the blood was from? What did she do to herself?"

"I will send the doctor in to speak with you about that. Let me go get him."

About five minutes later, the door opened and in walked a doctor. He held his hand out to Lucas and introduced himself as Dr. Eagins.

Lucas spoke as Dr. Eagins reviewed her chart, "I don't know if you know this, but she's pregnant. Whatever you used to sedate her is probably not good for the baby."

Dr. Eagins very matter-of-factly spoke, "I am sorry to tell you this, but your wife had a miscarriage."

Eyes welling with relief over God's answer, Lucas ran the back of his hand against her cheek. "Is she okay?"

"Yes, physically she's fine, but as I'm sure you're aware, she has a very serious mental condition and we cannot release her until we have it under control. She needs to go back on her medication immediately, and we can see if it will still be effective. How was she doing before she stopped taking them?"

Lucas's heart felt warm. Finally she had the chance to get back to the woman he had fallen in love with. "She was fine. Great even. You'd have never known she had an issue."

"Okay. Let's get them back in her system right away and hopefully she'll improve quickly. I can't promise you they'll still work for her, but it's our best bet. If they don't work, we can try a different combination. I will order the meds now and we'll make sure she gets them timely. With any luck, we'll start to see an improvement in two weeks."

Two weeks! Are they going to keep her here strapped to this bed for two weeks? His heart sank. "When can I take her home?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Mr. Anderson. I'm not going to lie to you. It could be a while. According to her records, her last stay was six months. We just have to wait and see."

DAYS 57 - 63

LUCAS FELT DISCOURAGED after three days of Faith screaming at the top of her lungs while kicking and thrashing to get out of her restraints. Each time, the solution was a nurse with a needle full of sedatives. He watched the video of Faith repeatedly. In ways, watching it hurt him all the more, as he feared she would never be the same. He prayed hard and often.

Telling his boss of what had been happening in his life made him feel more stability at work. In addition, he told his mother, but the support he had hoped for was not to be found. As for her parents, he had called them, but when her father had answered the phone, Lucas had lost his nerve and hung up.

The morning of the fourth day, his phone rang. "Hello."

"May I speak to Lucas Anderson, please?" said a pleasant female voice.

"You've got him."

"Hi, Mr. Anderson. This is Jessica; I'm a nurse at the hospital. How are you this morning?"

Lucas's heart began to race in his chest with fear. "I'm okay. And you?"

"I'm fine. I wanted to let you know that your wife is awake and very lucid. She is asking to see you. We don't know how long this will last, so if you'd like to come see her, now is a good time. Shall I let her know you're coming?"

His heart soared with hope. "Absolutely!"

SLAM!

Lucas hated the sound of that door closing behind him.

Faith smiled at him the minute she saw him through the small window in the door. Disappointed to see she was still restrained, the first thing he did was ask the orderly if they could release her temporarily. No.

He took her hand in his as best as he could with the restraints where they were and felt a burst of electricity at her touch. He had missed that feeling terribly.

He leaned into her, looking down into her glassy, sedated eyes. "Hey there, beautiful," he said sweetly, giving her a peck on the lips.

"Hi." She squeezed his hand. "You look terrible."

He hadn't shaved in a few days and certainly hadn't been sleeping well. It made him laugh though. "Yeah, I know." He stroked his stubble. "I need to do a better job of taking care of myself without you around."

She spoke slowly, with difficulty from the drugs, "I miss you."

"I miss you too, sweetie."

"I'm sorry." Her eyes began to well with tears.

After brushing her hair gently around her face, his lips met hers. "No, sweetie. Don't say that. I love you, don't ever forget that." He kissed her again.

"I want you to know... I'm fighting." Eyes closed, she finished her thought. "For us... I'm fighting."

He wasn't sure what she meant but guessed she had some sort of awareness or ability to struggle with her circumstances. "Keep fighting, baby. Keep fighting," he replied.

She opened her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek. "The floor... it's white."

Worried she was slipping into silliness, he looked down at the floor to see it was white. "This floor? Yes, it's white."

Shaking her head, she started to shiver. "No... the floor. It's white and dirty."

Tucking her blanket around her, he spoke, "What floor?"

Still shivering, she continued to try, "The night... we met. The floor... it was white... and dirty."

Trying to warm her, he realized she was trying to tell him something and wasn't just rambling foolishness.

"Pizza... pizza place."

"Yes," he said quickly. "The floor at the pizza place. Was it white?"

She nodded. "And dirty," she added with a slight smile.

Why is she talking about the pizza place floor? "What about it?"

"I make myself... think... about the... floor. And then... I can fight."

Oh, I get it, he thought. She's telling me how she's coping.

"Dirty floor."

He took her hand then kissed her lips. "Dirty floor where we met. I paid for your pizza because you forgot your wallet."

She closed her eyes nodding. "You should have run away. But I'm glad... you didn't." She smiled, opening her eyes as another tear trickled down her cheek.

He wiped it away. "You keep fighting. Think about that dirty floor, and when you get out of here we'll go clean it together."

She laughed slightly, causing him to do the same. "I love you, Lucas."

"I love you too."

Suddenly, her body jerked and she yanked on her wrist and ankle restraints. It startled him, but a nurse came in with the sedation needle.

Relieved to have her back for just those few moments, he felt hope return. And that was all he had to hang on to. Hope.

DAYS 64 - 70

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON, LUCAS received another call from the hospital. To his delight, Faith was awake.

The minute she saw him she tried to sit up but the wrist restraints held her back.

"Just relax and lay back, sweetie," he said.

"I want to sit up so I can hug you." She looked at the orderly and begged him. "Please, let me hug him just once."

Lucas's eyes implored as well. "Please... just let her out for a moment."

The orderly slowly went to her bedside and unbuckled her ankles. When he was done, he did the same with her wrists. She sat up quickly and flung herself at Lucas immediately. He held her tightly, sitting her on the bed. Her chest was pressed tightly to his and it felt wonderful. He never wanted to let go.

"I want to go home," she said. "I want to be with you."

"I know you do, sweetie, but you can't yet."

"I know."

Looking at her, he touched her cheeks then kissed her lips. "Soon, okay?"

She nodded. "You look very handsome today."

"Thank you."

She grabbed on to him tightly again. "They keep sedating me, even when I don't need it. How will I ever get out of here if they never let me be awake?"

Lucas looked over at the orderly. "Is that true?"

"We do what the doctor tells us to."

Lucas looked into her eyes. "I will talk to the doctor. I don't want you in here any longer than you need to be."

She leaned in to him. "I'm feeling better. I'm feeling more like me. The voices are fading."

This made him smile, as it was the best news he'd heard in weeks. "That's great, Faith." After running his fingers through her hair, he kissed her lips lightly. "You keep it up. Keep fighting."

She nodded her head.

The orderly stepped over. "I'm sorry, but I need to put the restraints back on her."

She looked at Lucas with tears beginning. She grabbed on to him for one last hug.

"I love you so much, Faith. Don't ever forget that."

"I love you too," she replied as she released him and slowly lay back down.

It was hard, but Lucas released her and watched her be confined again.

"How are things for you, Lucas?"

He smiled at her as she was being strapped down. "I'm doing okay. Just trying to stay busy with going to the gym and work. It's hard not having you around."

Her eyes started to blink a lot and he could tell she was getting tired.

"You should rest."

"I rest all day. I don't get to see you much so I want to keep my eyes open as long as I can."

The orderly finished with the restraints and looked at Lucas. "You have about five more minutes."

Lucas took her hand in his as best he could and leaned in to her. He gave her a long, sweet, closed mouth kiss. "Look at me as long as you like. I'm right here."

Soon, she lost the fight and drifted off to sleep.

Lucas kissed her cheek and left to find Dr. Eagins to discuss the sedation. After a heated debate, the doctor agreed to cut her sedation back just a little.

Over the next few days, with her awake more often, he was able to visit her more frequently. She seemed to be doing really well, and hadn't had an episode for days.

DAYS 71 - 77

AFTER TWO SUCCESSFUL weeks back on her medication, the doctors decided to take her restraints off. Lucas stood next to her bed, waiting as the orderly unbuckled her. They embraced and tears flowed from Faith's eyes.

Words could not describe how much he had missed having her in his arms. All he could do was smile as he kissed her.

"How are you feeling, Faith?" Dr. Eagins asked.

"Good. When can I go home?" Faith asked, sitting next to her husband on the bed as close as she could, with her head on his shoulder.

"I think we need to give you another week, Faith. Just to make sure everything is okay. The last thing we want is to have you relapse before you're out of the woods."

"I'm ready to get out now. I feel fine."

Dr. Eagins smiled. "I'm sure you do, but it's too soon."

She closed her eyes and leaned in to Lucas's neck.

Lucas spoke, "How about we compromise. Four days... if she doesn't have any symptoms in four days then you'll consider letting her come home."

Dr. Eagins took a deep breath. "We can probably do that. She has to be symptom free though."

Faith looked into Lucas's eyes, ecstatic. "Okay! I can handle four more, especially unrestrained."

Lucas nodded. "Thank you, Dr. Eagins. We appreciate your concession."

Day one and then day two went by successfully... Day three was long but also uneventful. All that was left was to make it through the fourth day, and Lucas was confident it was going to happen. He prepared for her return home by cleaning the house and making sure everything was in its place. He couldn't wait to have her home.

The orderlies let him into her room early, and they sat on her bed like excited children waiting to go to recess. He played with her fingers gently, thinking about how wonderful it was going to be to sleep next to her again.

Her arm jerked. Oh no. Was that what I think it was? It happened again. He looked at her face and saw a slightly glassy stare. "Faith."

She didn't answer.

Oh, crap. Please tell me this isn't happening. Please God, let this not be happening to her when we are so close to getting her home.

He pulled on her arm slightly to get her attention, saying her name again.

This time she looked at him. "What?"

"Are you okay? Your arm... it twitched... I just want to make sure you're okay."

The smile on her face changed and her eyes shifted. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Look at me," he said seriously, so she did. "Tell me the truth. Are you okay?"

Pressing her lips together, her answer was delayed. "I want to come home, Lucas. Just let me come home."

His heart pounded. "I want you to come home too. But I need you to be honest with me. Are you still having symptoms?"

She bit her lip then swallowed hard. "I... I've had a few little things. But it's not a big deal. Nothing I can't handle."

His eyes slowly closed while disappointment washed over him. "What things?" he asked and opened his eyes again.

She rolled her eyes and kicked her feet. "It's nothing, really."

He put his finger to her chin, raising her head up. "Tell me."

"Lucas, I really want to come home. Just let me come home." Tears were building behind her eyes.

"Tell me," he repeated.

She took a deep breath. "Some twitches... and I have heard the voices a few times. But it only happened a few times. I think I just need more time on my medication and it will go away."

Just then, the doctor and a nurse came into the room with smiles on their faces.

Faith looked down at her hand being held by Lucas's and squeezed.

Dr. Eagins spoke, "Well, it looks like we're all set here. I think we can let you two get on your way. But if any symptoms return, it's really important you get back here as soon as possible. We might need to adjust medications or make some dosage changes. The sooner we catch any symptoms, the better chance we have of fixing them before they get bad again. Understand?"

Lucas sat, his heart in his throat. An important decision needed to be made. He stood up, putting his hands on the sides of her face. After a kiss to her forehead, he looked into her eyes. "I love you. I love you too much to let anything else happen to you."

Tears welled in her eyes. "No, Lucas. Don't do this to me, please."

"I'm sorry, sweetie."

"No," she spoke softly. "Please don't."

Lucas looked at the doctor. "She's been having symptoms. Voices. I think she needs to stay until you can get it worked out."

Crying, she buried her head in her hands.

Lucas turned and stepped towards her, trying to hug her but was rejected. After several tries, he forced his way to her, able to break through. She cried into his chest as he hugged her.

"I want to go home."

"I know. And you will. It will just be a little bit longer."

Yanking herself away from him, she curled up on her bed.

His heart ached as he watched her become alone right in front of his eyes. "Oh, sweetie. Please know this is for your own good, and I only told them because I love you."

"Just go." She was sobbing.

He took a deep breath, putting his hand on her hair. "I love you, Faith." He had made some serious errors in judgment with her in the past and he wasn't about to do it again, especially over selfish needs or wants. This was her life, her sanity, and their life together.

Dr. Eagins had the idea to add a fourth drug to her regimen. It would take a week to see if it helped but at this point, Lucas was willing to do whatever it took, even if that meant making her really angry with him.

DAYS 78 - 84

HE SHOWED UP at the hospital the next morning before heading to work, hoping to see her for a little while. The nurse called his name. He looked at her.

"I'm sorry, but Faith doesn't want to see you. I can't let you go back."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. She's angry, but trust me, she'll get over it. You just have to give her time."

He took a deep breath. "Well, that's a great start to my day. My wife, who is institutionalized, hates me."

"She doesn't hate you. She's just upset. If you were in her shoes, I imagine you might feel the same way."

He nodded. "Yeah. I'll call before I come again and make sure I'm off the naughty list."

She laughed a little. "Okay. Try to have a good day."

He left in a rush.

He decided to swing by the hospital on his way home, just in case she was willing to see him. There was a different nurse on duty. "Hey there. My wife is back in your unit and she didn't want to see me this morning. I was wondering if perhaps she lifted my ban."

The nurse grinned. "Are you sure? I don't see how anyone wouldn't want to see you."

Great. Just what I need. A flirting nurse. "Faith Anderson, my wife... can you find out if she'll see me?"

The nurse looked down at the computer screen. "Lucas?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"You must have made her mad. No go. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

He closed his eyes feeling disappointed. "Can you give her a message for me?"

"Sure," she started to gather a pen and a piece of paper. "What did you do to make her mad at you?"

He was annoyed by the question so he didn't answer it. "Tell her I'm sorry and I really want to see her. And I love her more than she knows."

She wrote it down, put Faith's name at the top, and then looked at him. "Lucky girl... I'll make sure she gets the message."

"Thanks," he said, and then turned to walk away.

"Lucas..."

He stopped and looked back at the nurse.

"Would you like to go get some coffee and talk about it? I could take a break."

Knowing she was flirting, the thought occurred to him that it might be nice to have someone to talk to. Disregarding this inappropriate thought, he replied very matter-of-factly, "Thank you but the only person I really want to have coffee with right now is my wife and that isn't going to happen. Have a nice night."

The next morning he called the nurse's station before going to the hospital, but Faith still didn't want to see him. He was disgusted and went to work, hoping that by the afternoon she would change her mind. Unfortunately, she hadn't, so he didn't even go to the hospital at all that day.

He overslept the next morning and had to go straight to work. After work, he attempted to see her again.

"Lucas!" said Jessica, a very helpful, friendly nurse. "I think your wait is over. But let me go check and make sure. I don't want her getting upset."

Finally. Praise the Lord. "Yes, I don't want to get her upset either, but I do really want to see her."

Jessica went through the heavy door, and it slammed behind her. While waiting, flirty nurse returned to the desk. "Hi there."

"Hi."

"Are you feeling better today? You looked really sad."

"Sad?" he said. "My wife is locked up behind those doors and won't see me... I don't think I will be feeling better until she's out of here."

The door opened and he looked over hopefully. Jessica smiled at him waving him back.

SLAM!

"She said you can come in, but she's still kinda mad at you, so don't expect a warm welcome. I really want her to be able to leave soon, so please... don't get her upset. If she freaks out or even gets a little riled up, they're likely to extend her stay."

Lucas appreciated her concern. "Thank you. I don't want her to get upset either, and you know I want her out of here so... thank you."

"You bet." She stopped just outside of Faith's door. "I have to stay in with you. If I think she is getting upset, I will be the bad guy and require you to leave."

He nodded. "Thanks."

Faith was sitting on the bed holding her knees.

He went in slowly and their eyes met. "Hey." Stopping short of the bed, he gave her space.

She spoke quietly then turned away, "Hi."

"Are you doing okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I'm okay."

After a short silence he spoke, "I guess you're mad at me."

"I was mad at you. Today I'm just... disappointed. I feel like you don't want me to come home. Like you wish you hadn't married me." Still refusing to look at him, she fought tears.

His heart ached. "Faith..." He waited for a moment, hoping for her attention. "Faith, look at me, please."

With giant tears in her eyes, their gazes met.

"I want you to come home more than anything..."

"Then why didn't you just let me come home?" she asked quickly, interrupting him.

He took a deep breath. "It's because I love you, sweetie. Trust me... I want you home, and I am certainly not feeling any regret over marrying you. I love you."

A large tear fell down her cheek. "Sure. I'm so easy to love. What a joke. I don't know what I was thinking when I convinced myself I could have a normal life." A few more tears fell down her cheeks. "I'm better off alone so you can just go."

Lucas gently put his hand on her arm.

Leaning her head on his hand, tears came.

I can't take it when she cries. It hurts me so bad. He pulled her into his body. "Oh, Faith, we will have an amazing life together, I promise you. I just have to do everything possible to help you be well. I haven't always had your best interests in mind and I'm sorry, but I am not going to make that mistake again. I am going to be the man you deserve, whatever it takes."

Crying long and hard into him, she spoke, "I'm just having a pity party, don't mind me."

"You're allowed."

"Thanks."

They stared in each other's eyes. "May I kiss my beautiful wife?"

"I wish you would."

Leaning his face to hers, their lips touched. "I love you, with all my heart."

"I love you too."

He gave her one smaller kiss then smiled at her. "You will be back in our home, in my arms... in my bed, where I will show you how much you are loved... before you know it." Forehead to forehead, his eyes closed. "That is a promise."

"Okay." She closed her eyes too. "I'll hold you to that, especially that bed part."

"I can't wait."

Jessica spoke up, "I'm sorry you two, but I need to get back to my station, and I can't leave you here alone."

He groaned in disappointment. "I hope you will let me come see you tomorrow."

Faith laughed. "Yes. I'm sorry."

He put his hand to her cheek. "Don't be sorry, just don't do it again."

"I won't."

One last kiss, then it was time to go. "I love you."

"Ditto," she replied.

He took a deep breath, stepped away from her, and waved.

He left feeling renewed. Soon she'll be back where she belongs... in my arms at home.

On day five, he came to see her first thing in the morning and she was better, although still a bit frustrated.

Day six was better still. No symptoms.

The seventh day arrived. No voices, no symptoms. But one more day was necessary, just to make sure all was well.

WEDNESDAY MORNING, DAY 90

SLEEP ELUDED LUCAS, excitement and anxiety pumping through his veins. Praying that Faith had been fully honest with the doctors and with him, he longed for her homecoming. It seemed they had been apart forever, which was funny, since they had only known each other for a little over three months. It was amazing to think about the drastic life changes that had showered him.

Only four months ago, he had been not only single but also completely unattached. He had gone out with his friends often, enjoyed work, had a relatively good relationship with his family, had a strong connection to God, and been joyful and not very stressed. Now... Now he was married to a woman who was institutionalized for mental illness, rarely saw his friends, being at the office was truly work, disappointment had ruined his relationship with his mother, he felt sinful and far from God, and life was filled with stress and anxiety. All because of one thing: sex. Oh, how I wish we had done things differently.

Hopefully, his last security desk sign-in was underway. Listening to those doors slam behind him was not something he would miss. Sitting on the bed looking very calm, faith greeted him with a sweet smile.

He was overcome with emotion. Oh, how he loved her. He gazed at her with tear-filled eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for? This is a happy day."

He leaned his forehead against hers. "I feel responsible. I should have listened to you when you said you wanted to choose yourself."

"And I should have never allowed us to go unprotected that first night."

"That was in the heat of the moment though, and we weren't thinking clearly. I just didn't listen. You told me you couldn't handle going off your meds and I pushed you. I made you feel like you would lose me if you didn't do what I wanted. I'm sorry."

She smiled as her fingers ran into his hair at the base of his neck. "You don't need to feel guilty. We're in this together remember? I love you and I don't blame you at all."

He smiled.

"I'm sorry you're married to a crazy lady!"

"You're not crazy."

She whispered, "Crazy for you."

"And I'm crazy for you too." One kiss turned into another, and then another, and he found himself forgetting where he was.

The door opened loudly, breaking their lips apart.

Dr. Eagins and Dr. Guiley stood looking pleased.

Dr. Guiley spoke, "Are you ready to go home today, Faith?"

"Please tell me I can."

He smiled. "Yes, you can."

Faith squeezed Lucas's arm. "I promise I will let you know if I have any symptoms. I won't hide it. I'll be honest and come back. I don't want to be sick anymore, I want to feel good."

"I trust you, Faith. And I know this man is going to take good care of you."

"I will," Lucas replied. I will take care of her the best I can for the rest of our lives.

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON, DAY 90

WALKING OUT OF that room felt amazing. Just having shoes on felt amazing. When Lucas took her hand in his, it felt like they touched the first time all over again. He led her down the hallway and through the locked doors.

With every step she took, freedom saturated her soul. The air smelled better, her heart felt lighter.

Winter had faded to the slight beginnings of spring. The ice melted and the snow was mostly gone. The sight of grass lifted her spirits even further. Inhaling the fresh, brisk air as though it were her first breath of life, she squeezed her husband's hand. She looked at him as they walked, amazed he had been able to stick by her through the worst of the worst. Sinking her fingers through his, she held on to his arm. Freedom... and she wasn't alone. This was pure bliss.

Walking into their apartment made her realize that she was married. And not just to anyone, to Lucas, the most gorgeous guy to ever cross her path.

The first thing she wanted to do was take a long shower. The water warmed her body, and it felt nice to be alone with no one watching her.

Hair still wet, she put on some comfortable clothes and then found Lucas. He was on the couch watching television, eagerly awaiting her presence. She snuggled into him, and his arms went around her.

As nice as it was to be home, it was also a bit awkward. Wanting things to just go back to the way they were wasn't going to make it happen. Not sure how to speak her feelings, she texted him.

F: I want to ask you something

His phone buzzed. He peeked at the screen and let out a small chuckle.

L: Ask me anything you want, my love

F: Do you feel differently about me now? If you do I understand

L: Yes

Reading the reply hurt her heart. Ouch. Then another message came in.

L: I love you more

Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Really?"

"Really." He hugged her. "You don't have to text me. I'm right here now and nothing can stop us from being together. There are no walls or slamming doors or giant buckles, and I am the same person I've always been. It's just me and you... it's us."

She sank her face into his chest and inhaled his scent. Nothing was better. Nothing.

He gently lifted her chin and kissed her.

"I missed you so much," she said.

"I missed you more."

Their gentle kisses turned deep and soon he stood to lead her to the bedroom.

They undressed each other slowly, watching every move. He lay her down with kisses that made her feel as though he needed her in order to breathe. His body felt warm and natural to her. "I don't want to wait any longer, Lucas. I need you."

"I need you too, more than you know."

Just as he was about to begin, a discomfort built within her. Heart palpitations along with a hot flash, and then panic set in. Gasping for breath, she pushed him away with all her strength.

He went to her quickly, trying to find out what was wrong. She latched onto him trying to breathe.

"Did I hurt you? You feel so frail, Faith. I'm so sorry if I hurt you."

Still struggling to get air, she gasped. "No, no, you didn't hurt me. I don't know what's happening to me."

"Just relax. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do. It's okay."

"But I want to," she said through her heavy breathing.

"Just relax."

After several deep breaths, she was breathing normally again. "I think I'm okay now."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm okay."

He leaned in and kissed her once, then twice. He laid her backwards, obviously excited to be this close to her again. "I love you, Faith. I love you so much."

"I love you too." She looped her arms around his neck. His kisses felt wonderful, as did his body.

They began making love and everything felt wonderful. She was relaxed and at ease as he moved. Quickly, it happened again. Dizziness and panic set in. Her chest constricted and she couldn't breathe. Sitting up, her hands pushed him away. He told her to relax again and she tried. This time it was more difficult to get herself under control, but once she did, she spoke, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry."

"I just want you to be okay."

She leaned her head into his. "I don't know. I've never felt anything like this before. It's total panic."

"It's just me. I'm not going to hurt you. You know that, right?"

"Yes, I know that. I'm not afraid of you, I promise," she panted. "I love you, Lucas. I love you with all my heart." Her lips pressed against his even though she wasn't completely calmed yet. "I want to feel your body on mine, I want this."

"Maybe I'm too heavy on you. You've lost a lot of weight, sweetie." He brought her body to him and tried again, this time upright.

This seemed better. Her eyes closed as he took full control of her. Quickly he became extremely passionate with her.

"I need to feel your whole body against me, baby." He laid her back, pressing his chest against hers. A moan came from him and she knew he was close. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I can't hold back. You feel perfect."

"It's fine, Lucas. I love you and I want you to feel amazing."

"I do. Oh God, I do."

Oh no, not again, she thought. I have to hold it together for just a little bit longer... for him.

She inhaled deeply and held her breath wanting to hold off her panic attack. Then another deep breath as he continued his sounds of release. The panic set in again, but this time, she held on tightly. Not able to hold her breath any longer, her struggle for air returned.

The worst state of panic set in but he reacted quickly, giving her room to breathe. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Trying to catch her breath, she reached for him and he leaned in telling her to relax again.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated.

She started to catch her breath and wrapped her arms around his neck loosely. He picked her up and pulled her towards him, holding her close as she took several deep breaths until she was able to breathe with ease.

A little later, they tried making love again with similar results.

She had to check in with the doctor every day for two weeks, so the doctor would surely know about this new development.

THURSDAY, DAY 91

HER APPOINTMENT WAS at nine in the morning, and they waited nervously in the waiting room, holding hands. Finally called back to Dr. Guiley's office, they sat across from his desk.

He came in and sat down with a smile. "How are you feeling today, Faith? How did yesterday go?"

Faith smiled, still gripping Lucas's hand. "Good... I feel good."

Lucas spoke up, "Everything has been fine, except..."

She interrupted Lucas, "I had a few... panic attacks yesterday. I don't know why. Is that a symptom? Or possibly a reaction from the new medicine?"

Dr. Guiley turned to his laptop and began to type. "I don't think it's either, but let me take a look and make sure." They watched him closely as he did a little research. Finally, his eyes came back to them and he said, "I don't see anything that would indicate a reason for panic attacks. Why don't you tell me about them."

She took a deep breath and tried to explain how it felt.

"Yes, that sounds like a classic panic attack. When did they occur, what were you doing?"

Lucas and Faith looked at each other then she answered, "We were in bed... having sex."

"Oh," Dr. Guiley replied. "How many attacks? Did they happen at any other time?"

"I had five or so." She thought for a moment. "Only happened in bed." She looked at Lucas and asked him for clarification. "Right?"

"Yes."

Dr. Guiley sat back in his chair, thinking. "Interesting."

Lucas laughed. "Not so interesting from my perspective."

"No, I would guess not. But I think it's probably just a reaction to fear. You see, Faith didn't have any problems until she had to stop her medication. And she had to stop her medication because..."

Lucas finished his sentence for him. "She got pregnant. I get it. She's afraid it will happen again."

Dr. Guiley nodded. "Yes, that's my best guess. What are you using for protection against pregnancy?"

Faith replied, "Condoms."

Dr. Guiley replied, "98% effective."

"What are we supposed to do? There's only one way to be 100% safe and we don't want to abstain... do we?" Lucas said, looking at Faith as though he wasn't sure of her answer.

She shook her head quickly. "No, that's not an option. Not for us."

Dr. Guiley looked at Faith. "Faith, I think you need to consider having the sterilization procedure. I know we discussed this years ago and you weren't interested, but given the new circumstances, I think it might be your best solution. If you know you can't get pregnant, then you'll be able to relax. Plus, even if the panic attacks aren't related to sex, let's face it, another accidental pregnancy is not preferable."

She looked at Lucas. "What do you think?"

"It's your body, sweetie. I can't make that decision for you."

"But it's our decision. If I do it there is absolutely no chance of having a baby... ever."

"I'm fine with that. I don't want you to have to go through this again. I wouldn't want you to get pregnant."

Faith looked at Dr. Guiley. "Okay. I'll do it."

DAYS 92 - 97

THE DAYS LEADING up to the surgery were calm and easy. It gave them time to get acclimated to their lives together again. It had been such a whirlwind it was kind of nice to just relax and settle back into a normal, boring life of simply having dinner, watching television, and just being together.

They attempted to make love often, doing everything they could to have a relaxed experience, but Faith didn't have control of her fear, and more times than not, they weren't able to finish. It was completely frustrating for both of them. He felt as though she were afraid of him, and he knew she felt terrible for making him feel terrible.

The unfortunate part was that when all the medical bills started piling in, his stress grew. Lucas had great health insurance, but even with it, the bills were astronomical. He didn't want her to worry about it or feel guilty, so he kept it to himself. He had a plan to resolve it, but it was a plan he knew she wouldn't like at all.

One day, she found out.

F: Why didn't you tell me about the bills?

L: What bills?

F: Medical. I found them and... it's bad

L: I didn't want you to worry

F: What are we going to do? We can't afford this

L: We will be fine; I'll figure something out

F: We can't afford any more... maybe I should cancel the surgery

L: No! You're not cancelling. Don't worry

F: It's all my fault

L: I didn't want you to feel that way, that's why I didn't tell you, so stop

F: How can I stop? I feel awful

L: You're home, you're healthy, it's going to be fine

L: I promise

F: I wish you had told me

L: Why? So you could be stressed out like you are now?

F: No, so you didn't have to worry about it alone

F: I thought we were in this together

L: Fine, I should have told you, I'm sorry

L: Don't be mad, but I spoke to my mother

F: NO! You know how much she hates me

L: She doesn't hate you

F: Then what would you call it?

L: Strong dislike :) But I love you and she loves me

F: What did she say?

L: She agreed to give me part of my inheritance early

F: She will think she owns us

L: No, it's not a loan, besides; this is no time for pride

F: Agh

L: Can we talk about this later?

F: Yes

L: Please don't stress, you need to relax

F: Fine

L: I love you

F: I'm mad at you

L: Just remember how cute I am

F: You are cute

L: See, works every time

F: You're lucky you're cute

L: You're lucky I'm cute too :) gotta go

F: I am lucky xoxo

F: Thanks for taking such good care of me

L: Always

DAY 99

IT WAS THE night before the surgery and they were both feeling nervous and excited. On the one hand, it meant a step closer to a normal life, but on the other hand, any surgery had its risks.

Faith couldn't eat since she was having surgery, so Lucas teased her a little with his food. The playful teasing resulted in a tickle fight, which she lost as he tackled her on the floor and pinned her down. This was what he remembered life being like before all the drama.

She surrendered to him as he smiled down at her. One simple kiss turned into a very special moment for them. They made love right there in the living room in front of the fire and Faith didn't have any reaction other than pleasure. He finally felt fully trusted.

He had a hard time falling asleep. She was resting peacefully in his arms but his mind was churning. He realized he was worried about losing her. Things were just starting to feel right again, they were having fun together and smiling. No symptoms since her release from the hospital and as of that night, they had even had some successful intimacy. What if the anesthesia did something to her brain to make her symptoms return? What if something happened during surgery, and she didn't make it? He started to wonder if it was a good idea to go forward with it.

He decided to do something he hadn't done in weeks. Pray.

Why hadn't he been praying? He used to pray every single day, usually multiple times a day. He also used to attend church regularly. Why had that changed? Lucas had become completely distracted from his relationship with God when he fell in love with Faith. But why? Looking at her, he realized what had gone wrong. He was certain that God had intended them to be together. She was a gift from above.

But instead of doing things the right way, selfishness had overwhelmed him with a need to have her, emotionally and physically. Being sinful had made him feel guilty, but he hadn't wanted to stop his sin. It had felt too good, too right. The guilt had driven him away from God. He hadn't wanted to face his failure to be obedient. Even though they were married now, the guilt persisted, and he had become the type of Christian that only cried out to the Lord in times of need. Not only that, but he had aided Faith in becoming that same type of Christian.

If morality could be gauged like the temperature outside, Lucas was certain he and Faith would be stuck in the dead of winter, just like Fitchville had been when they had met months ago. Not the norm, but thirty below nonetheless. He vowed in that moment to do whatever was necessary to raise their mercury and get back to God. As she lay sleeping, he prayed for forgiveness for himself and for her. Repenting wholeheartedly, he found himself in tears. Faith awoke and asked him why he was upset. He explained and then asked her to join him in making a new commitment to the Lord together. She agreed and hugged him tightly.

DAY 100

MORNING CAME EARLY. Lucas awoke to the sound of his alarm. Once awake, he asked Faith if they could start their day with a prayer. They prayed out loud together, holding hands and asking for protection over her in surgery and thanking God for all their blessings; especially the blessing of each other.

The surgery went well. It took a little bit longer than it was supposed to, which made Lucas a little nervous, but in the end, the doctor came out with nothing but good news. The surgery was a success and she was fine.

When he was finally able to see her, she was in a lot of pain but lucid. Relieved it was over, he held her hand in his and thanked God for giving them this second chance to make their lives right.

He sat at her bedside with her hand in his, feeling more hopeful than ever. Certainly, there would be hard times in the future, but everybody had those. They had a mountain of debt to tackle and a lot of relationships to repair with family and friends. But they were right with God and each other, probably for the first time since they had met. They were going to make it; there was no choice.
  WITHOUT

FRIDAY, DAY 1

IT WAS A frigid Friday night. Thirty below was not a normal temperature by any means, but it was the current reality. Lucas had been going to the local pizza shop every Friday night for over six months now so far and had nothing to show for it. Last summer he had seen the most beautiful girl there and was trying to run into her again. She was gorgeous in a way he had never noticed in a woman before. Something had radiated from her, and it was hard to explain how he felt when he thought about her. So far, his pursuit to recreate history had left him with no rewards. Planning to finally give up, he decided to give it one last try.

The line was long when he parked. Once inside, he looked around. Damn it. I guess it's not meant to be. Disappointment washed over him as he got in line.

The slow line moved forward and then it happened. There she was... sitting in one of only four chairs waiting for her order.

His heart raced as he watched her put her phone in her pocket. Sadness was all over that beautiful face.

A girl that pretty should never have to look sad.

Crap, how am I going to make sure I meet her this time? There are so many people in here. I can't just walk up to her and say 'Hi, beautiful, my name is Lucas and I've been dreaming about all the naughty things I'd like to do to you for six months. Wanna go back to my place?' Idiot! Why didn't I think this through?

They called her name but he missed it. Damn it. He watched her step to the counter to pay for her pizza. When he heard her say that she didn't have her wallet, he knew exactly how he was going to meet her. It was perfect.

Stepping out of line, he walked up behind her and made himself speak. "I'll get that for you, ma'am."

Her eyes went to him as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket. Careful to make full eye contact with her, he smiled. A ten-dollar bill was sufficient, although he would have gladly paid more.

Heart racing, he managed to remain calm. She tried to get out of him paying for her pizza, but he insisted and then handed the box to her as she thanked him.

There were so many people in that small room he didn't know what to say next. For some reason, he opened the door out to the blistering cold and held it for her.

That quickly, she was gone. He couldn't believe she was slipping through his fingers again. Damn it.

The two people who were ahead of him and after him were not happy when he tried to get back in line. The woman behind him put her hand up to his chest. "Oh no, buddy. You stepped out of line, so now you go to the end."

He frowned. "Are you serious?"

"Yes!" she said. "No one told you to go help that crazy girl out. You're on your own."

Just then he heard the door open again and then a loud voice. "Are you guys kidding me?"

He turned to see who it was and was surprised... the pretty girl of his dreams had returned. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked over at her.

Her brow creased as she spoke, "He stepped out of line to be nice and help out a stranger, cut the guy a break and let him back in line!"

The woman who had told Lucas to go to the end of the line shouted back some very unkind things.

This beautiful girl was feisty and he liked it! It took some convincing, but he was able to talk her into dropping out of the shouting match. Then he led her outside into the blistering cold. Once outside, gratefulness overcame him...

Thank you, God, for placing me right here next to her even in this cold weather.

Soon, he knew her name. Faith.

Going out on a limb, he asked if they could eat her pizza together, and to his surprise, she didn't have plans so they ate in his truck.

She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Not only that, she was funny and seemed very intelligent. The more they got to know each other, the more he wanted to make sure not to mess it up. It had been several years since a girl caught his eye, and this one seemed special for some reason. Yes, he was terribly attracted to her, but it was more than that. A combination of brown eyes, which matched her brown hair, and an amazing smile that took his breath away. A light, smooth complexion highlighted her rosy, shimmering lips.

The evening passed like a blur, and before long, he found himself sitting in her apartment at the dining room table immersed in a heated game of Bullshit. At 1:00 a.m., she began to pile the deck, indicating their evening was coming to an end.

He couldn't keep what he was feeling in anymore. Reaching his hand over to hers, placing it on top, their eyes met and he smiled. His heart pounded. "I have a confession."

Flipping her hand over, their palms were touching lightly and his fingers danced with hers. It felt amazing.

"What's that?" she asked.

Looking at their hands, he forced the words out of his mouth. "I am really, extremely attracted to you."

Her face showed complete surprise and indicated this moment seemed important.

SATURDAY EARLY MORNING, DAY 2

HIS WORDS HAD ignited her soul. "Wow, that is quite a confession."

"I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

Her smile attempted to set him at ease. "No, it's okay. I like honesty. I'm actually very attracted to you too." Removing her hands from his grasp, they went to her lap where she stared at them nervously. "But there is something I need to tell you about myself before we go any further."

"Okay." His tone seemed a little confused and worried.

"I'm not just any girl. I'm different."

"I haven't met a girl yet that wasn't different," he replied with a laugh.

She laughed too. "No, I'm serious. You'll probably never meet anyone like me again." Her hands stole her attention again with that same nervousness.

I like him, she thought. He is nice, and handsome... what if this makes him walk away? It's a chance I have to take.

"I have a fairly serious mental disorder." She looked for a reaction. "I'm currently on medication which takes care of it, so I'm able to live a relatively normal life. But that could always change. Some people who have this get worse, or their medication stops working... it's just unpredictable."

A look of surprise covered him.

"It's called Oneirophrenia Somatization Psychotic Disorder, but please don't let the name of it totally freak you out. I'm not a serial killer or anything."

He chuckled lightly.

"There, I said it. Now you know. You can take that and think on it and decide if I'm still someone you find yourself really, extremely attracted to."

She saw his mind churning and knew he would probably need some time to process the information. "Why don't you just take me back to my car now? You can think about what I told you, and if you decide you want to call me... you have my number. If you don't, I understand."

He nodded at her. "Yeah, okay. Thank you for telling me."

"It wouldn't be fair not to."

He smiled, showing his dimple as he took her hand in his. Passion radiated from their touch. They sat hand in hand, looking at each other for a long while.

Finally she spoke, "How about you take me to my car now?"

"Sure." He winked at her. After releasing her hand, they both stood up. He spoke as he put his coat on, "Anderson."

Confused, she retrieved her own coat.

"Lucas Anderson... I thought you might want to know my last name."

Damn, that is one handsome man. "Oh, good to know. Mine is Quinn."

"Faith Quinn. That's a pretty name."

"Thank you," she replied sweetly.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON, DAY 2

AFTER GETTING SOME good sleep, Lucas awoke and made some coffee. Faith was on his mind and he couldn't make himself stop. Nice and funny... and beautiful. And the chemistry he had felt just being near her was astounding. It must have been hard to tell him about her mental disorder, and his heart pounded in his chest thinking of her honesty. It was a shame that things like that happened to good people, but that was just the way the world was. As a Christian man with strong faith, he knew God never made a mistake when He created life. Faith's life was no different. Whatever this disorder was, God had placed it there for a reason.

Armed with a cup of caffeine, it was time to do some internet research on OSP. The more he read, the more he understood why she had been so upfront about it; it was a fairly serious disorder.

It was overwhelming to say the least. So many symptoms and ways it made itself known; involuntary body movements, headaches, other bodily pain, anxiety, malnutrition, hallucinations, delusions, possible catatonia, memory and speech issues... separation from reality. It was a lot to imagine one person having to deal with, but it was also something medication seemed to be able to control in a lot of circumstances.

While he was thankful that she had told him, he found himself fearful of getting involved with her. She was beautiful and had seemed to be doing well last night, but that could change at any time. What if he invested himself and then things went south for her? There were plenty of normal, healthy ladies in the world; there wasn't a reason to purposely choose one who was troubled in this way.

Thinking even further ahead, what if they became involved and fell in love, then marriage... would her condition keep her from being able to have children? Probably. She wouldn't be healthy without taking her medications, yet she wouldn't be able to take those strong drugs safely during a pregnancy. Chances were if they ended up together, they wouldn't be able to have their own children. Children were something he definitely wanted... lots of them.

It was certainly a lot to think about. He imagined that she probably hadn't met too many men willing to take a gamble on her. Prayer was the answer; worrying about what to do wouldn't fix anything.

That afternoon, he made his decision. A Facebook search for Faith Quinn resulted in a friend request. The privacy level on her page was high so he wasn't able to see anything about her other than a few pictures. To his delight, his friend request was approved by her almost immediately. Time for a status update:

Had an amazing evening with Faith Quinn! Pizza, conversation, and whatnot... best evening ever! Thank you :)'

After that, her wall was calling him. Click.

Damn she is sexy! Look at those eyes and her beautiful smile.

He saw she was listed as Christian and Republican, which made him smile. His stand on abortion was very Republican. As he was reading about her, a Facebook instant message popped up.

F: So I guess OSP didn't scare you off

Scared? he thought. Yes, a little... but not scared enough to walk away from you, sweetheart.

L: No, it takes a lot to scare me :)

A reply to his status came in:

No, Thank YOU. It was amazing.

He smiled. I'm glad she thought so too.

L: How are you today?

F: Good, and you?

L: Good. Happy. Glad I met you

F: I'm glad you met me too

Beautiful and a sense of humor. Yes. I need to see her again. I want to know more!

L: Would you mind if I asked you some questions about your disorder

F: Not at all. Ask me anything

L: Not on here. Can we get together?

F: Are you just trying to weasel your way back into my apartment?

Beautiful, sense of humor, and intelligent.

L: LOL I am so busted!

L: Seriously, I would like to ask you some questions

F: Okay, when would you like to come over?

L: Would tomorrow night be okay?

F: Sure, I will make you dinner. 6:00?

L: Sounds great. Thank you!

F: My pleasure, I do owe you dinner anyway :)

L: No, you don't owe me anything

F: :)

L: TTYL

He looked at her profile picture.

L: BTW - you're beautiful

F: Thank you *blush*

F: BTW - you are very handsome

L: ;)

At 10:10 p.m., his phone beeped. With his sister visiting, he didn't want to be rude, but he checked it anyway.

F: Can I ask you a question?

Glad he had checked, he grinned.

L: Anything

F: Are you seeing someone or are you in some sort of relationship already?

L: No. Why?

F: Look at your wall. It confused me

He pulled up Facebook right away and saw what Faith was referring to.

And I thought Lucas Anderson only had amazing nights with me.

Mira. Ugh... You crazy bitch. I will not let you ruin this for me! Delete. He went a step further and blocked Mira.

L: Ignore that. She is just trying to cause trouble. I deleted it

L: She is a drama-filled friend of my ex

F: Okay

L: Sorry about that

F: No need to be sorry. No big deal

L: My sister is visiting, I better go

F: Okay. Talk to you later

L: Bye

His attention went back to his sister. Of course, the subject of discussion was Faith, as he couldn't stop thinking about her. Megan seemed pleased he had finally met the mystery pizza girl.

Turning in for the night, he wanted to say goodnight to her, hoping she wouldn't think it was strange.

L: Bedtime yet?

F: Crawling in now :)

Mental image... Faith in bed... divine.

Instant erection.

L: Did you have a nice day?

F: I did, you?

L: Only one thing could have made it better

F: Oh yeah, what's that?

L: You

F: :)

L: I'm totally letting my bros down on the no contact for three days rule, aren't I?

F: Ha Ha I won't tell on you

L: Good, I'd hate to lose my man card

F: I doubt you could ever lose that, you are quite manly ;)

L: Thank you :) You are not manly at all

F: LOL I hope not

L: You have a nice rack

F: BAH!!

L: I had to earn my man card back somehow ;)

F: Well, I guess you are a man and men like boobs

L: Yes we do. And yours are nice!

F: I'm glad you like them, I grew them myself

L: LOL well done

F: I didn't even notice you checking them out

L: I'm stealthy

F: LOL

L: *sigh*

F: I know... time for bed

L: Yes

F: Thanks

L: For what?

F: For not running away

L: You're too pretty to run away from ;)

F: Aw

L: Goodnight you beautiful thing, sleep well

F: You're sweet

L: Only because you have nice boobs (gotta keep my man card)

F: Understood... g'night

His phone went to the night table and he stared up at the ceiling. Memories of meeting her flooded his thoughts. Her face, her eyes, her smile, those boobs... that ass! All gorgeous. His little man stood at attention again.

Oh, what I would like to do to that body! It's been two years since I've had sex and six months of fantasizing of her... but... I need to be respectful. God help me be respectful. I am so attracted to her but I want to do this right.

SUNDAY MORNING, DAY 3

TEACHING SUNDAY SCHOOL had been very challenging! The kids had been exceptionally naughty, which had made Faith grumpy. She decided to skip church and stop at the grocery store for a few things on her way home.

Once inside out of the horrible cold, the produce section came first. She needed apples... Which kind would she choose this time? Something caught her eye. Lucas. The sight of him made her giddy and her heart fluttered instantly. He was with a young attractive blonde woman who Faith assumed was his sister. As she was walking in Lucas's direction, he noticed her and smiled immediately.

He was only a few feet from her when he said, "Imagine seeing you here, stranger."

"Hello. I'm a bad girl and ditched out of church early today."

"Well, I'm worse. I didn't even go." He looked a little embarrassed to admit it.

"I'm making someone dinner tonight, so I'm here to get a few things."

He showed her his dimple as he spoke, "Someone is really lucky to get to have dinner with you tonight."

He turned to the blonde. "This is my sister, Megan. She came up from Dayton yesterday to visit me." He looked at Faith and continued the introduction, "Megan, this is Faith."

Megan laughed. "Oh... this is Faith?" Megan held her hand out to Faith. "I have to be honest with you; I kinda thought he made you up."

So he had talked about her. What would he have said? 'Yeah, I met this really great girl who is bat-shit-crazy; do you think I should go out with her?' She looked into those beautiful hazel eyes of his and couldn't help but smile.

Their glance lingered, suspended in time as his smile warmed her soul in a way she hoped he could feel too.

Megan noticed the way they were looking at each other and laughed. "Wow, it's getting a little warm in here."

Lucas looked at his sister. "What? It's like twenty-five below outside right now."

Megan giggled. "You are such a dork." She looked at Faith. "It was great to meet you, Faith, but we don't want to keep you from your shopping. My brother's head might explode if I don't make him move along."

Face flushed, Faith uttered, "Okay."

Lucas's eyes met hers and nearly took her breath away. "I'll see you tonight, then?"

"Yep," Faith replied. "See you then."

They ended up crossing paths with each other in every aisle, which was a little awkward, but mostly funny.

SUNDAY EVENING, DAY 3

LUCAS SHOWED UP at Faith's door right on time with a bundle of long stemmed red roses. He looked really dashing and smelled even better, with just a hint of cologne. She could tell he had put some effort into himself, which made her feel special. No one had ever given her flowers before, so it was a really nice surprise.

She placed the roses in a small vase on the dining room table. She had him sit down at the end, just like he had Friday night. Then she brought the food out and got them some wine before sitting down next to him.

They ate together, having a really easy, fun conversation about all sorts of things. He made her laugh numerous times, which she loved, since laughter was a little new to her. Her new medication was working out well.

It was a bit awkward to move from the easy, light conversation they were having to the more serious one, which was the reason for their get-together. She did it as smoothly as she could though. "If you're done with dinner, we can head over to the couch and let the grilling begin."

He laughed. "Sure."

She brought the wine bottle with her and filled his glass. She tried to relax, hoping he would relax too. They sat on opposite ends of the couch, facing each other.

He started. "I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you being honest with me about your disorder. That had to be really hard and I want you to know, I respect that in a big way."

She smiled. "I always told myself I would be upfront about it, so that's what I do. Thank you for not... running away. That's usually what happens." She laughed. "Who am I kidding? That is ALWAYS what happens."

He gave her sad eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't do that. If you're going to sit there looking like you feel sorry for me, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," she said in a light, joking manner.

"Well, I don't want that, so I better cut it out!"

"Yes, you better." She pointed her finger at him. "So lay it on me, what do you want to know?"

He took a deep breath. "How long have you had it? Were you born that way?"

She sipped her wine. "As long as I can remember. I had my first episode at three years old. The assumption is I was born with it but no one really knows. No one else in my family has it so it's kind of a mystery."

"That was going to be my next question," he said, "if anyone else in your family had it. From what I read, they aren't sure if it's hereditary or not."

"Oh, so you did some research, did you? I'm impressed you're even here. Most of the information on the internet about it is pretty scary. You're a brave man."

He laughed. "It was interesting for sure. Perhaps a little scary... but that's why I wanted to talk to you. I know how the internet can make everything sound worse than it really is. You have cold symptoms but it tells you you're dying of cancer."

Faith looked down into her wine glass. Unfortunately, the information on the internet about her condition was pretty accurate, so she wasn't sure what to say. It was scary because... it was truly scary. She took another sip of her wine and waited for his next question.

"What is it like?" he asked sincerely.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what is it like... for you... living with it?"

People had asked her many questions about her illness over the years, but never what it was like for her. His interest was touching and made her heart swell and flutter. Pondering how to reply took some time, as she had not ever tried to explain it before.

"Well, I've learned to live very moment to moment. I used to worry a lot, worrying if each moment was going to be the moment I would fall apart. It was dreadful. A few years ago, I finally figured out how to just let go and accept that it's not in my control. I don't know when my next episode will come, or even if it will, but I don't live in fear of it anymore. I try to just be happy for what I have. I have a good life. It would be a shame to ruin that with worry."

"And what is it like... physically?"

"Well, when I'm medicated and feeling good... I just feel good. I feel normal, I guess. My old medication took all my emotions away so I was like a robot for years. Numb. I just switched one of my meds a month ago, and it has been really amazing to actually feel again. Happiness, sadness, anger... the warmness that comes along with the lingering look of a handsome guy." She winked at him and smiled, as did he. "But even on meds, I have a little twinge now and then."

"What's that like?" he asked, taking another sip of wine.

"My brain will start to hurt a little bit and tingle. I have small twitches in my arms or legs. It happens mostly when I'm overtired, really hungry, or under a lot of stress. So if I rest or eat or relax, it usually goes away."

"So you have to take really good care of yourself?"

"Yes, I do. I have to take care of myself and remember to take my three medications every day at the same time. It's imperative."

"When do you take them?"

"At night, before I go to bed. 10 p.m. like clockwork."

He smiled.

His dimple showed and she looked around his face. So sexy, so amazing, so... far out of my league. She decided to tell him more without him having to ask. "When things aren't going well with the meds, it's a different story. My brain hurts a lot, tingles like pins being poked in it. The sound of silence hurts my ears because I am so aware of it... if that makes sense."

He nodded.

"Then the voices come. They start simple, like asking me if I remembered to make my bed or wash the dishes. Then they change and start telling me what to do. I get really confused about what's real and what isn't, because my thoughts toggle between the mess in my head and the real world. So I end up talking crazy, going from one thing to another, not making any sense. I'll drop into a sleep mode, seem to be sleeping but I'm not really. Inside I'm awake and on fire, trying to break out. When I come back to conscious thought, I'm usually pretty out of it and have trouble with my memory, but it all comes back pretty quickly." She watched his face for a reaction.

Sadness.

She pointed at him with a smile. "No. I will kick you out, I promise!"

His smiled returned. "Sorry. I'll be good."

"The next stage is the worst. I get trapped inside myself, like I'm in a tiny prison cell. I'm aware of my actions... I scream, kick, hit... but I'm unable to control it at all. I'm in there, but I'm not the one making the decision. It's kind of like watching myself from above and not being able to do anything about it. That's when I have to be sedated. My body sleeps, but my brain is awake... The real me is awake inside this sleeping body, wanting more than anything to get out and be me again. It feels like an impossible fight to survive. I would imagine it's probably a lot like being buried alive. It's dark and I'm alone." Just thinking about it made her eyes water slightly, but she fought it off.

"Wow. I can't imagine."

"I've had that happen to me three times in my life, and I can tell you, I don't ever want to feel it again. Never. It's horrible."

He reached out for her hand, and she slowly gave it to him. His simple touch stirred her emotions in an instant.

"I'll just tell you so you know and it isn't a surprise to you. I've been institutionalized three times. One time for three weeks, one time for six weeks, and the last one was six months. That was a few years ago, but they were able to change my medication and get me back to feeling good. I haven't had anything major happen since then."

His fingers played with hers and it was electric. He looked at their hands, dancing together. "You're a very strong woman."

"I'd like to think so."

"You are. I'm impressed."

They stared at each other for a long while, smiling and enjoying the simple touch of their hands. Finally, he broke eye-contact and squeezed her hand, then released it. He took another sip of his wine. "So what about your future? What are your dreams?"

She shrugged. "I don't really have any. I live in a one-day-at-a-time kind of mindset. Just makes life easier."

"Marriage?"

She wrinkled her nose. "I don't know. I can't really imagine someone wanting to marry me given the situation. But even if the right person did come along, I don't know if I'd want to put him in that situation."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I think about my parents. They're in a constant state of worry over me because they love me. They've done an amazing job of taking care of things and getting me to the right doctors and whatnot, but I don't think a day goes by where they don't worry about how I am or if I'm going to be okay. Each day the question looms... will this be the day Faith loses her mind? Quite honestly, they're pretty stressed out most of the time, and it makes me sad because I just want them to be happy. If I ever got married, I'd feel like I was putting another person I love in the same position, and that is just not what I want for anyone, especially someone I love."

"If someone loves you, shouldn't they get to decide for themselves?"

She smiled. "I don't know. You make a valid point but... I just don't know."

"Well, think about it," he said. "What about kids?"

"Oh, Lord. That is not happening. I made peace with the fact I can't have children a long time ago."

"Can't?"

"No, I guess can't isn't the right word. Shouldn't. I've actually considered having a sterilization procedure so it couldn't happen. An accidental pregnancy would be a tragedy. But since there haven't been any men knocking at my door, it just hasn't seemed necessary."

"You could always adopt."

She gave him a funny look. "Are you kidding? No agency in their right mind would hand a baby over to a woman with my condition."

After a pause, he replied, "Well, there's nothing wrong with not having children. I hear they're kind of a pain anyway." There was his dimple again. "All those diapers... then you have to pay for college and weddings. Might be better just to get a dog."

She laughed loudly, loving how he was able to make light of such a heavy conversation.

He leaned towards her slightly. "I just have one more question, if you don't mind."

"Not at all, shoot."

He took a small breath, looked deep into her eyes. "Would it be okay... if I kissed you?"

It made her giggle like a teenager, and he laughed.

"I don't get you," she said.

"What don't you get?"

"I just sat here and told you all this horrible, scary, crazy stuff about myself, and you... still... want to kiss me? I don't get it," she said seriously.

"I'm a man of faith, and I've prayed about this; about you. God doesn't make mistakes when He creates life, and He puts people together for a reason. I can't explain it, but... I'm not scared... at all."

She pinched her fingers together. "Not even a little bit?"

He rolled his eyes slightly. "Okay, maybe a little tiny dash... but it's minute."

She looked into his eyes for a moment, checking them for the truth. It was there. She leaned towards him slightly, slowly, and he did the same. She put her hand on his cheek, their lips almost touching and said, "You might be just as crazy as I am."

He spoke in a whisper, "You're not crazy... and neither am I."

She closed her eyes as the feeling of his warm lips covered hers. He gave her several, slow, sweet, closed-mouth kisses, which made her heart melt. Then he opened his mouth, placing his hand on the side of her face, and guided a deep kiss that she felt in the depth of her soul. The kiss grew and became quite passionate. She loved it. Having never been kissed like that before, it felt like he really meant it. Soon, his passion began to slow, and the intensity died down. He closed his mouth, kissed her lips softly, and then looked at her. "You are beautiful... and that was an amazing kiss."

He certainly told it like it was. She liked hearing him say how he felt; it took away any doubt she might have about what he was thinking. "You... are gorgeous... and yes, it was."

They sat looking into each other's eyes for a long while until he looked down and took her hand in his. "I would very much like to take you out on a date. A real date." He returned his eyes to hers. "What do you say?"

"As long as it's not pizza."

He chuckled. "No pizza. Got it. I'm going to visit my mom this coming weekend, and I don't want to wait till next weekend, so how does Wednesday night sound?"

"I'll pencil you into my busy schedule."

"Excellent." He leaned in and kissed her lips again and then gazed at her. They looked into each other's eyes for another long moment. "I better go. Gotta go to work in the morning and you need to get your sleep."

"Okay," she said, not really wanting him to leave.

He leaned in, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for dinner and another amazing evening."

"Thank you," she replied, then took his wine glass and grabbed her own. She stood as he did. She took the glasses to the kitchen and returned to find him putting his coat on. The sight of him sprinkled her with excitement. How did I get so damned lucky? Thank you, God, for bringing this man into my life!

She walked over to him as he spoke, "I'll pick you up at six on Wednesday? Is that okay?"

He put his gloves on as she replied, "I'll be ready."

He opened the door and leaned to her quickly to kiss her cheek again. "Goodnight, beautiful."

"Goodnight." She felt completely satisfied as the door shut behind him. I couldn't have asked for a better evening... too good to be true.

Her phone buzzed as she cleared the dishes from dinner.

L: FYI I didn't really want to leave

F: I didn't really want you to leave either

L: Take good care of yourself until Weds

F: I will

L: Goodnight

F: Goodnight

MONDAY, DAY 4

FAITH WAS HARD at work and enjoying her solitude when a message came to her phone. She grinned.

L: Good Morning

F: Good morning. How are you?

L: Antsy

F: ???

L: I have a date with a gorgeous girl on Wednesday and it seems too far away so... I'm antsy

She couldn't have smiled any bigger.

L: I'm a very patient guy but she is really amazing

F: Maybe you should see if she's available tonight

L: I hadn't thought of that, excellent idea. Can you ask her for me?

F: Sure... I'm not making any promises, but I'll ask her

She waited a little bit and then texted him again, laughing at the little dance they were doing.

F: Okay, there is good news and bad news. Which do you want first?

L: Good, of course

F: She is available tonight and would love to go out with you

L: Excellent! Bad news?

F: She is unwilling to release you from your Wed night obligation (she is kind of stubborn)

L: Damn it!

F: I know, she can be a bitch sometimes

L: LOL

F: :)

L: Pick you up at 6?

F: That will be fine

L: Can't wait

F: :)

Wanting to look sexy for him, Faith chose to wear her little black dress. A v-neck to show just the right amount of cleavage and a hem right above the knees to give a nice view of her legs. Her three-inch heels might have been a silly pick considering all the ice on the ground, but they made her calves look amazing, so it was them or nothing. Simple silver jewelry finished the look. There... ready.

He showed up right on time, looking very handsome again with a hint of cologne, which about drove her wild. She grabbed her dressy coat, knowing it wouldn't be nearly as warm with the temperature hovering at twenty-four below.

The car ride was quiet, just a little small talk and weather complaints. When he pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, she was embarrassed. He had chosen the nicest place in town, and she didn't want him to spend that much money.

She looked at him. "You did not need to bring me here!"

He laughed as he parked. "You said you didn't want pizza..."

Glaring playfully, she retorted, "Just for that, I'm getting the lobster!"

He winked. "Stay right there." He got out of the car and walked over to her side to help her out. The parking lot was icy, so his arm around her waist and the way he held her hand as they walked to the restaurant entrance was appreciated.

Once they had been seated, he ordered a bottle of red wine and told her to order whatever she wanted... even the lobster. She laughed, knowing that was not going to happen.

They got their wine, ordered their food, and were left to wait. He held his glass up to hers. "A toast."

"To what?"

"To me being the luckiest bastard alive!"

She laughed as he clinked her glass and they both took a sip.

"Okay," she said. "You got to ask me a bunch of questions so now it's my turn."

"Fair enough, I'm all yours."

"Facebook... that girl Mira. You said she was a drama-filled friend of your ex."

"Yes."

Faith took a sip of wine. "Spill it. There's a story there and I want to know it!"

He made a face showing his embarrassment. "You picked up on that, huh? And to think I was hoping to get out of that without having to explain."

"Yeah. I don't think so. Spill it."

He took another sip of wine. "I might need two bottles to get through that story."

They laughed together, and then he began to tell her the story of why Mira felt compelled to mess with his Facebook wall.

"Mira is the best friend of my ex, Melissa. Melissa and I dated for two years but broke up after I moved here. Melissa was really my mother's pick for me, and I guess I kind of just went along with it to make her happy. My mother is kind of an interesting character... but that is a completely different story for a different time."

"Mental note, ask Lucas about his interesting mother."

He laughed. "Come to think of it, you might be the one running away from me soon."

Fat chance... I'd never run away from you. "I doubt it. You're pretty cute. Cute makes up for a lot of things."

He was amused. "Good to know."

"Go on... Melissa was your mother's pick..."

He took a deep breath before continuing. "My mother is very wealthy. My stepfather was the one with the money though, not her. Anyway, my mother set Melissa and I up because her family is wealthy too, and my mom wanted to keep the wealth flowing. I personally don't care about that, but she put a lot of pressure on me, and to be honest, I just got lazy and let her convince me it was the right fit. Melissa and I never really had anything in common, but there were parts of our relationship that were really good."

Faith read between the lines. "You mean the sex."

He choked slightly. "Why would you say that?"

"I can't think of anything other than sex that would keep a man in a not-so-great relationship for two years."

"Fine," he put his hands up, gesturing surrender. "It was the sex."

"That's what I thought," Faith said, proud of herself for figuring it out.

"Anyway, the sex was good but we fought all the time. We didn't like any of the same things, and when I moved here, she wanted to move in with me. I didn't want that, and she said she wouldn't move here unless we lived together. I really don't want to live with anyone until I'm married, and I told her that so then she started bugging me..."

"To marry her," Faith filled in.

"Right. But I knew I didn't ever want to marry her, she just wasn't the one. Then one day it dawned on me... Why am I with someone I don't want to marry? I told her I wasn't interested in marriage with her, and I wasn't interested in a long distance relationship, so the only thing left to do was break up. I tell you, my mother was more devastated than either of us were."

"Nice," she replied.

"So two years of my life, down the drain... just like that."

"Well, at least you got some good sex out of it," she said with sarcasm. Her thoughts turned to him having sex with a random woman. Ouch. Why does that bother me? I barely know him! "Where does Mira fit in here?"

"Oh yes, Mira. She started to pursue me after Melissa and I broke up. She told me she'd always had feelings for me and begged me to give her a chance. Honestly, I think she just wants the money, not that I personally have any, but I'm not interested in her at all. She's been a bit of a stalker ever since. Harmless, but annoying. She's convinced we belong together."

Discomfort surrounded Faith. Sex. Such a simple thing, yet so very complicated in today's society. She looked at the man sitting across from her... he was gorgeous. It was obvious that he worked out. His arms were probably delightful... but how many women had been wrapped in those arms? How many naked bodies had he rubbed up against? How many pieces of his intimate self had he already given away? Was there any left for someone like her?

"I'm sorry... did I say something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No... it's just..." She didn't know how to explain it. "It's just weird to hear you talk about... that."

"You mean the sex?"

She laughed a little. "Yeah... the sex." She shrugged. "It's crazy how the world is now, everybody just running around having sex with everyone they bump into like it doesn't mean anything. I guess I just have this hope... that... it does mean something. At least to someone other than me. I probably sound old-fashioned and silly. You can laugh at me if you want to."

His eyes were serious as he reached across the table and took her hand. "No, I would never laugh... that's not silly at all. I think it's a nice hope to have. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I don't care about sex, or that it doesn't mean anything to me. It does. I suppose I just haven't used it properly. I've never been married, so the sex I've had has been outside of God's design. I don't suppose it's supposed to work well when it's done outside of His design."

That is exactly what I mean. Exactly. She smiled slightly at him, shocked. "I'm glad to hear you say that. Don't get me wrong, I was young and stupid once... and I paid for my stupidity. Now I just... hope. That's all I can say. Hope."

"Hope is good." He squeezed her hand. "Speaking of hope, I hope you don't think I'm a jerk now."

She shook her head. It was time to change the subject and since the discussion was already a little heavy, the next topic would fit right in. "I spoke to my mom today."

He let go of her hand and sat back in his chair.

"I told her a little about you."

"Uh oh, was it a good conversation or a bad one? I know how parents can be."

Faith tilted her head. "She had some interesting things to say... that got me thinking a little."

He was very attentive.

"She doubts your intentions," Faith said. "She told me to be careful because, and I quote, 'What kind of normal man would choose you?'." Faith stirred her water with her straw. "What a lovely thing for a mother to say, right?"

Surprisingly, he didn't seem offended. "She didn't mean it the way it sounded," he said, defending a woman he had never met. "She loves you and wants to protect you."

"I know. But still... What a doozy."

"Well, I can assure you that your mother is wrong. My intentions with you are honorable. I just hope you'll give me the chance to prove it. Besides, you have to go out with me again Wednesday night even if you don't want to because I am not releasing you from your obligation."

She giggled. "Is that so?"

"Absolutely. I take my schedule very seriously!"

Damn, he's adorable, she thought. That look on his face... that grin. I could dive across this table and kiss those lips right now.

"You do recall you were merely penciled in, right?" she said.

That made him laugh loudly. "Well, it's pen in my book, so there's no disputing it now."

"Damn it!"

"I know, I can be a real jerk sometimes."

"I bet you can."

They both laughed as the food arrived.

The rest of dinner went really well. The food was excellent, and their conversation turned to fun, laugh-worthy subjects. By the time dinner was over, Faith was wishing they could start all over, just so she could spend more time with him. But it was time to leave.

Back at her apartment complex, he parked and assisted her inside again. Once at the door, she invited him in, but he declined, saying he needed to get home. He kissed her cheek sweetly. Leaning into his chest, she laid her head right over his beating heart. His arms went around her and she could feel his strength. She thanked him for dinner, then released him and said goodnight.

Only a few moments after she had returned home, her phone beeped. She dug her phone out of her purse and looked at the screen.

L: I didn't really need to get home

F: So, you're lying to me already

L: LOL No... was just afraid to go inside

F: Why?

L: Afraid I wouldn't want to leave

F: Oh, terrifying!

L: I know! :)

F: You better not be texting and driving

L: No - just sitting in your parking lot trying to decide if I should come up and request a kiss. Afraid I'll be rejected

That made her smile, big.

F: No need to be afraid, outlook is promising

L: Oh yeah?

F: Come find out

She was waiting for a response and then realized he was probably on his way up. She stepped out into the hallway and heard someone coming up the stairs... He walked quickly and with purpose directly to her. Right there in the hallway he took hold of her, bringing his lips to hers. A passionate kiss began, and his tongue danced with hers. She was lucky he was holding her tightly because her knees went completely weak.

She felt an amazing flutter in the middle of her chest, which grew with intensity the longer he kissed her. His lips were soft, but his intention was strong. Breath officially stolen!

After a deep breath, he slowed their kiss. A small closed mouth kiss followed. Then he took another deep breath as though it were completely necessary.

Looking into his eyes, her heart swelled. "Please don't let go... I might fall over."

He smiled, showing her his dimple. "Don't worry, I got ya."

They looked at each other for several moments. "Now I better go."

"If you must," she replied.

"I must, but not because I want to." He gave her one more kiss before going.

TUESDAY, DAY 5

F: Happy Birthday, Lucas

L: Thank you

L: If I didn't already have plans tonight, I would want to spend it with you

She was a little bummed to hear that he had plans but it was okay. He had a life before she met him, and it was his birthday.

F: Aw, you're sweet

F: Is your visit to your mom's this weekend for your birthday?

L: Yes, she said she NEEDED to see me

F: I forgot to ask you about her :)

L: Thankfully :) She is... difficult

F: How so?

L: Uptight, snobby, stern, basically has a stick up her ass

F: She sounds lovely

L: LOL she has her moments

F: I'm sure she does :) She is your mom and you love her

L: I do... most of the time :)

F: She probably won't like me very much, sorry

His response came slowly.

L: She doesn't like anyone

F: She likes Melissa

L: But I don't like Melissa - I like you

F: I like you too

L: :) Guess what

F: What?

L: Your kiss kept me warm last night

She loved that mental picture; it was sweet.

F: It was a very nice kiss

L: I need to stop thinking about it right now while I'm at work ;)

F: LOL

L: I better go, work and all

F: Have a great birthday - bye

L: Thanks

The day went by quickly, and she was glad to see there was an American Pickers marathon on the History Channel to keep her occupied while the guy she couldn't stop thinking about went out to celebrate his birthday without her. Around ten o'clock, her phone beeped.

L: Don't forget to take your meds

It was cute, him checking up on her like that.

F: Just did - Having a good time?

L: Mostly

F: Mostly?

L: Someone is missing

F: Absence makes the heart grow fonder

L: I'm already pretty fond

F: Do you think the word fondle is rooted in the word fond? ;)

L: Oh my... don't get me started on things I would like to fondle. I may show up at your apartment

F: Bring it

L: I'm trying to be a good boy with you. I have to pray A LOT

That was the sweetest thing he could have said.

F: I'm sorry. I will behave

L: I better go

F: Go be with your friends

L: See you tomorrow

F: :)

Since her phone was already in her hand, she decided to see what was happening on Facebook.

Becky was having dinner at Ocho Rios.

Georgia was watching the American Pickers marathon, good woman.

Alethea was frustrated with her children for not wanting to go to bed.

Lucas was tagged in a few pictures... of him at a bar. First picture was of him doing a shot with a pretty brunette. The next was a picture of the same brunette with her arm around him with the words 'Sexy birthday boy' written under it.

Faith sat looking at it thinking... thinking... she wished she was there. Or maybe not. I don't like bars, or crowds, or people, or shots. Perhaps it's good I'm not there. She felt a little twinge of jealousy over the pretty brunette, but rationalization won. There were no dibs on Lucas; they had just met. The girl could be anybody... maybe even a date, which she didn't like the idea of, but it was his right.

She clicked on the 'Sexy birthday boy' picture. She wanted to leave her mark.

'Yes he is'

That would do it. Nothing wrong with that.

WEDNESDAY, DAY 6

HE WOKE UP with a slight hangover.

Ugh... I hate this feeling, he thought. Why did I do those shots? I should have hung out with Faith instead. I hope she isn't mad at me. She's hot, smokin' hot, and I'm an idiot for leaving her home last night. Oh, the things I could have done to her... No! Respect. I need to respect her. I need to respect her magnificent ass and her splendidly large tits. Oh, what I wouldn't give to... No! Respect. Damn it. She deserves my respect.

After chugging some V-8, he made his way to the gym for a half-hearted workout. First order of business once at work was Facebook. Yes, an excellent use of my time at the office.

Slight panic set in when he saw the pictures Leah had posted on Facebook, and then the comment 'Sexy birthday boy'. If Faith sees that, she is going to get the wrong idea. Thanks a lot! Then he noticed... Faith left a comment. Oh no... she is probably so pissed.

'Yes he is'

A smile hit him. Wow. She's not mad. Beautiful, sexy, intelligent... and cool. He commented underneath. 'Not as sexy as Faith Quinn'

A Facebook instant message popped up.

F: So you think I'm sexy?

L: Incredibly so

F: Have fun last night?

L: It was a work party, fun enough

F: My boss never lets me have a party

L: LOL You're not missing much

F: I didn't think so

L: Still want to see me tonight?

F: Eh, maybe

L: Yeah, I could go either way too

F: :)

L: How about dinner and a movie at my place

F: Twist my arm

L: Consider it twisted

F: Ouch, not so far

L: I'd never hurt you

F: That's what they all say, right before they rip your heart out

Oh hell no, he thought. Someone hurt her. How could anyone ever hurt her? She's delicate, like the wings of a butterfly. As much as I want to throw her naked body down and make her scream my name repeatedly... I've got to respect her. I have to because if I don't, I might hurt her and if I did... I don't know how I'd live with myself.

L: I'm serious. I'll never hurt you. I promise

After a pause, her reply came.

F: You can't make a promise like that, Lucas

L: You bet your ass I can

Another pause.

F: I'll see you tonight - one problem though

L: ???

F: I don't know where you live

L: We can fix that

Apartment cleaned: check. Dinner started: check. Wine opened and breathing: check. Fireplace lit: check. Nicely fitting jeans and shirt that subtly shows off body: check. Dab of cologne: check. Toilet paper in bathroom: check. All prophylactics removed from apartment: check.

Yes, getting rid of his condoms was a way to ensure he could and would respect the woman he was having over for dinner. It was only their second official date and he already knew she was worth waiting for. It was going to take some serious God-guided self-control to do this right, but Lucas was ready.

After the knock came, his eye went to the peep hole. Adorable... she had removed her knit hat and was trying to tame her static-filled hair.

He opened the door with a smile, then gave her a hug. After taking her coat, he placed a glass of wine in her hand. "Welcome to my home. Have a seat while I go check on dinner."

"This place is incredible, Lucas."

Not near as incredible as you, my dear. "Thank you. I'll be right back."

He returned to her with a glass of wine in his own hand and sat down next to her, totally relaxed. "Now you know where I live."

"I can stalk you now," she replied. "And you'll have two stalkers. You're popular."

He laughed. "Oh yes, just what I always wanted."

"I aim to please."

He held his glass out to her. "Here's to you, making stalking seem hot."

She giggled.

Oh, how I love the sound of that giggle.

"You have a nice place here," she said. "I love your fireplace. Good score!"

"I know. I saw it and I had to have it."

"Is that how you roll? You see something you have to have, then do whatever it takes to make it happen?"

He thought about it for a moment. She had no idea that he'd seen her in the summer and had been trying to meet her since then. He would tell her, someday. "Yeah, I guess it is. Is that creepy of me?"

"Nah. I'm kinda the same way. So if it is creepy, you're in good company."

"Great, we're both creepy."

"I'm your dream come true; a mentally unstable, creepy stalker." She laughed aloud then paused. "I might have to rethink this. Any guy who would willingly jump into what we've got going on here might be a little loonier than I am."

I get it, he thought. As long as she's in control of the comments about her condition, it could be funny, and humor is her way of tackling the uncomfortable subjects.

He wanted to tread lightly though. She seemed truly okay with herself, and he liked that, a lot. So many girls he met were so terribly insecure they just put on an act to impress. Faith wasn't like that at all. With her, it all hung out.

"I'm sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable joking like that?" She looked concerned.

"No, not at all. I was just thinking how nice it is, your confidence in who you are. It's refreshing."

"Well, I am what I am," she said. "Can't change it so why fight it?"

"Very true."

"I saw on Facebook that you're a Christian?" she said and then sipped her wine.

"Yes. Recovering Catholic," he said, and she laughed. "I go to a Methodist church now," he continued. "Been going there since I moved here a few years ago. Church was a big thing for my family growing up; we never missed. I didn't really get it back then, so as soon as I had freedom, I stopped going. As a result, my college days were a little wild. I got that out of my system and felt like something was missing. Felt kind of empty and something inside me told me to head back to church. I didn't want to do the Catholic thing, so I shopped around till I found something I liked. Now, I don't feel empty."

She smiled. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment.

"You're adorable," he said.

A light shade of pink invaded her cheeks. "Thank you. You're pretty adorable too."

He wanted to kiss her but held back. "Thanks. Are you hungry? Should we eat?"

"Yes, we should."

She followed him to the kitchen and helped him load up the plates and bring them to the dining room table. He said a prayer before they ate.

Dinner conversation was light and easy. They talked about their high school years and how different their experiences had been. He had been popular in school, played football, dated a cheerleader, and gotten good grades. She had been the opposite: an outcast, not involved in any activities, decent grades but had accelerated her program so she could graduate a year early.

Then their current lives. He had lots of friends, she had few. His parents were divorced, hers were still married and very much in love. He was easy going, and she was set in her ways. He had never been seriously ill or spent any time in a hospital and well, she had. A lot. He wanted children and even though she would like to have them, she wasn't going to ever be able to.

"I guess it's true what they say, opposites attract," he said.

She nodded.

He made his confession from the first night they met again. "I don't know what it is, but I have never been so attracted to anybody in my whole life. It's like... a magnet."

She blushed again. "One of those giant magnets they use to pick up cars with."

Reaching for her hand, electricity pulsed through him. "Bigger than that."

Their eyes locked and silence fell. He leaned to her slightly. She did the same and soon their lips met for a long, light kiss. His body filled with intensity, tingling from head to toe.

He pulled away from their kiss as he finished it. "I probably shouldn't have done that."

"Why?"

He slowly went back to sitting straight in his chair and sighed. "Because I might not be able to stop."

"I'm not complaining."

He took a deep breath. "Yeah... I gotta be careful with you. It takes every ounce of my self-control not to... ugh. You just might be the death of me."

She laughed.

Oh, it's not funny, woman, he thought. If I didn't like you so much I'd strip you bare, bend you over, and give you the surprise of your life. And you'd beg for more. Stop it! Respect. Lord... help me respect this woman. She is incredible and I am terribly attracted to her. I know she takes sex seriously and it's not that I don't... I do, but this is very difficult. My body wants hers in a way I've never felt before. I need Your help because I can't do this on my own. I will fail.

They finished dinner and she helped him clean up. They joked as they washed the dishes together. Then they went to the couch to watch a movie. Getting to know each other became more important, so the movie case never even got opened. He held her hand and played with her fingers as they spoke. Restraining himself was challenging as exploring her lips more was on his mind, but there would be time for that. Talking would have to do for now.

When it was time for her to go home, he put his coat on and walked her out to her car. He opened her car door and she started her car to warm it up.

She got back out and looked up into his eyes. "Thank you for dinner and a wonderful evening."

"You're welcome. Thank you for coming over." His hand ran up and down the sides of her arms.

She grinned shyly. "I have to be honest and tell you I was a little bit nervous about coming over here tonight. Is that weird?"

He leaned into her slightly and whispered, "No, 'cause I was a little bit nervous about you coming over tonight too."

"Why were you nervous?"

He stuck his hands in his pockets. "Probably because... oh, let's see here... you're beautiful and sweet and nice and I'm so attracted to you I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you... Yeah, I think that's why."

Blushing again.

"What about you? Why were you nervous?"

Her face turned playful. "I was afraid you would notice how beautiful and sweet and nice I am and then you'd have a hard time keeping your hands off me. I was just nervous for you really."

He laughed. "Thank you. That's very kind of you."

"I'm a giver."

He took his hands out of his pockets and reached for her. "Come here," he said. He brought his face close and pressed his lips against hers.

The warmth of her mouth on his ignited him. Should I give her a kiss more like the one we shared the other night? I better not. He ended the simple kiss then kissed her cheek softly. "It's icy out there. Text me when you get home so I know you're safe."

She nodded. "Will do."

It had been a wonderful evening and he was sad it was over. The smile on his face seemed permanently affixed.

F: I'm home. Thanks for a great night :)

L: It was a great night, thank you

F: I think I like you

L: I don't think I like you at all. I know I like you ;)

F: You make me laugh

L: You make me laugh too

L: You make me smile

L: You make me want to...

F: Want to what?

L: Fill in the blank

F: Milk a cow? Eat raisins? Shovel snow? So many options

L: Yes, you make me want to eat raisins... that is totally what I was going to say. How did you know?

F: I'm smart

L: Can I tell you something?

F: Of course

L: I had to tap into God's control over me tonight... not to ravage you

There was a pause. Uh oh, should I not have said that?

F: And here I thought you just wanted to eat raisins ;)

L: LOL

F: In all seriousness... it was difficult for me too

L: You make dating hard :)

F: Would you rather I were easy? LOL

L: I refuse to answer that question on the grounds I may incriminate myself ;)

F: I could try to be medium-easy

L: LOL No, I like you just the way you are

F: Ditto

L: *sigh*

F: What?

L: Just kicking myself for not giving you a real kiss tonight

F: I could kick you for that too :)

F: I'm not complaining about the two I got though, nicely done

L: Thank you

F: Feeling a little weak in the knees just thinking about it, good thing I'm in bed

L: You... in bed... ugh... I need a cold shower now

F: Or maybe you should just eat some raisins

L: I am literally laughing out loud

F: Good, your dimple is hot

L: Glad you like it

F: I do, very sexy

L: I could chat with you all night but I better let you get some sleep

F: *sigh*

L: I know... hard to say goodbye

F: Very :( You make my heart soar

L: I know EXACTLY what you mean

F: Talk to you tomorrow?

L: Count on it

F: Okay - go eat some raisins

L: I am a little hungry :) Goodnight, sweet thing

F: Goodnight

Damn it, I like her.

THURSDAY, DAY 7

FAITH WAS FEELING really good about her relationship with Lucas when she woke up in the morning. He had been so sweet to her last night, and oh were his kisses, even the small ones, amazing. A part of her wanted more, but she knew it was just the product of lust. Curiosity over what was under that shirt had her feeling a bit... flustered. But she knew nothing good would come from them getting physical. Chances were they would never be physical. It was probably best that way.

Her Facebook friend Joshua had messaged.

Hey Faith! How are you, chick? I'm going to be playing at the Little Bean tonight at 8 and I wanted to invite you to come. I wrote a song I think you'll like; you inspired it. Come out and see me if you can. Later - Joshua

Wow, she had inspired a song. This must be her lucky week... First, an amazing, handsome stranger and now a song written about her by one of the cutest men in town. Going out alone was a source of complete stress so she wasn't sure she wanted to go. But wait...

F: Busy tonight?

L: Yep

Bummer!

L: Busy hanging out with the most beautiful girl in the world, hopefully

Oh, he's being funny.

F: Well, tell her I said hi

L: Say hi to yourself

F: A friend of mine is playing at the Little Bean tonight. Will you take me?

L: I would be honored

F: Pick me up at 7:45?

L: I'll be there

Lucas showed up right on time with a present in his hands. Grinning, he held it out to her.

She gave him a curious squint. "What did you do?"

"Don't get too excited, it's one of those gifts that is really for me, but I've disguised it as one for you."

At least he's honest. "Great, I love gifts like that." Laughter turned into hysterics as she unwrapped the largest box of raisins she had ever seen. "Where did you find this? It's huge!"

"Sam's Club. I figured if we were going to be hanging out, then I needed to have a stash since you really make me want to eat raisins."

"I have to hug you!" His arms felt so nice. Secretly, she loved getting gifts, especially ones like this that weren't worth much money but had a lot of personal meaning. It was silly, but this box of raisins made her feel like he really cared about her. As she broke away from their hug, she looked up, raising herself towards his face. She placed a kiss on his lips because she had no intention of letting him get away without giving her a real kiss this time.

Their kiss was slow and sweet, filling her with warmth. Feeling his hand go to her cheek, she placed her hand on his chest. She ended their kiss and looked into his eyes with a smile while she rubbed his chest softly. I really want to see that chest. It feels amazing.

"Okay, now I need the raisins, hand them over."

Her giggle made him smile as she handed him the box.

The Little Bean was a small coffee bar, but they were able to get a seat at a table without issue. Lucas went to get them drinks while she saved their spot.

"Faith!" Joshua came over to her. He hadn't changed a bit. Still one of the most handsome men in town, aside from Lucas of course. He hugged her where she sat in her chair. "I wasn't sure if I'd see you tonight," he said.

"I don't normally like to go out--"

Joshua interrupted, "I know and I get it, but I'm glad you did. Thank you."

She smiled and he hugged her again.

"Who's the lucky guy with you?"

She blushed. "The first guy willing to date me in over eight years! We met last Friday night at the pizza place. I accidentally left my wallet at home and he paid for my pizza." Just then, Lucas returned with their drinks. Faith looked up at him. "Hey... Lucas, this is my friend, Joshua. He's the one playing tonight." She looked at Joshua. "This is Lucas."

Joshua held his hand out. "Nice to meet you." They shook hands.

"Likewise," Lucas said and then sat down next to Faith.

"Faith was just telling me how you guys met," Joshua said.

"What can I say, Friday was my lucky night," Lucas said, smiling.

Faith looked into Lucas's eyes. "Joshua and I went to high school together. He was kind of my guardian angel. The kids weren't very nice to me... It's a small town so everyone knows about my disorder. Joshua helped my life be a little less horrible because he stuck up for me. I am eternally grateful."

Lucas took her hand in his.

Joshua smiled, looking a little proud himself. "Ah, it was nothing. You didn't deserve the way everyone treated you." He looked over at the table next to them. "Funny thing about growing up is, all those jerks grew up at the same time we did and... a lot of them are still jerks."

Lucas followed Joshua's gaze and saw the surreptitious glances and whispers. He looked frustrated and embarrassed for her, and she hated that look of... sympathy.

Joshua spoke again, "Well, I better go get ready. It was nice to meet you, Lucas." He pointed at Faith. "Take good care of her, okay?"

"Oh, I will." He looked towards another table. "If anybody wants to mess with her, they're gonna have to go through me first."

Joshua smiled and stuck his fist out to Lucas. "That's what I'm talking about."

Lucas bumped Joshua's fist.

Men, she thought. What's with the fist bump anyway?

Joshua leaned down to her, kissed her cheek, and whispered, "It's nice to see you with someone special."

"Thank you." Joshua stepped away then left.

"He seems like a nice guy," Lucas said after Joshua had gone. The look of pity was also gone, thankfully.

"He is. Like you." She smiled at him. She didn't care about all the former schoolmates surrounding her, still whispering and wondering who this brave man was.

He kissed her hand. "I'm sorry..."

She stopped him immediately. "No, you don't have to do that. They have to live with themselves; that is punishment enough."

"Well, I feel like the luckiest guy in the room."

"Thank you," she replied as the music started.

On the drive home, she had an agenda.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow for your mom's?"

"Right after work."

"May I ask you something?" she asked shyly.

"You can ask me anything, anytime."

Staring out the passenger side window, it came. "Were you planning to tell her about me? If you weren't that's fine. I was just wondering."

"Actually, I am going to tell her about you. Why? What's on your mind, Quinn?"

Quinn... that was funny and made her laugh but quickly her thoughts went back to heavy as she squinted in discomfort. "Were you going to tell her about my... my brain?"

"I was planning on it, but I'll leave that up to you."

She looked over at him. "I would prefer if you didn't. Sounds like she is going to have a hard enough time liking me as it is."

He spoke proudly, "I am not ashamed of you at all, Faith."

"I get that, and your intentions are touching, but the reality is most people aren't like you. Most people hold it against me even if they don't mean to."

"I'll do whatever you want. If you don't want me to tell her, I won't. If you do, I will."

"Please don't."

He reached for her hand. "Okay, I won't. But I want to make sure you know, without doubt... I am not ashamed of who you are. You are perfect just the way God made you."

She squeezed his hand. "I'm not perfect, trust me. Just wait until the first time you see me mad."

His lips turned up. "I can't imagine you ever upset."

Now, that was funny.

FRIDAY, DAY 8

HER WEEKEND WAS going to be completely normal. Just her, in her apartment doing the things she always did. Reading, eating, watching TV... nothing special. It was a little sad to think how exciting the previous Friday night had been, meeting Lucas and playing Bullshit into the wee hours of the morning. But sadness turned to joy quickly as God reminded her of how fortunate she was. Lucas seemed to really like her and he didn't care about her disorder. It was an amazing turn of events. Hoping he had a nice weekend visiting his mother was partnered with a hope that he would miss her... even if just a little bit.

Around eight o'clock, her phone buzzed.

L: Please... shoot me!

F: What's wrong?

L: Surprise dinner party, people I don't know, ugh

F: You'll survive

L: So you don't want to come rescue me?

F: Hmmmmm... no! I'm staying FAR away from your mother!

L: LOL Smart woman

L: I better go, chat with you soon xoxo

F: K, may the force be with you

L: LOL

SATURDAY, DAY 9

LUCAS WOKE UP around 8:00 a.m. without the assistance of an alarm clock. His stiffy brought back memories of the dream he was having. Faith... crawling slowly down his naked body, her mouth headed for...

Stop it! Respect her, damn it! She is not a sex toy... Although I bet having sex with her would be one of the best things I've ever experienced in my life. How many times could I make her... Stop it! God help me. Guarding my thoughts from going straight to my crotch is laborious. She is so sexy. I want her so bad. I want her so bad I'm willing to wait. Help me wait, God.

L: You awake?

F: Yes. I see you survived the night

L: Yes, barely. It was touch and go LOL

F: Poor baby

L: What are you up to today?

F: Nothing special, buying a dress for the Oscars, trip to the Vatican

L: Sounds exciting ;)

F: Oh yes, I am very busy

L: You are very cute, love your sense of humor

F: You are cuter

L: Thanks

F: How's mom?

L: In rare form. Trying to talk me into moving back to Chicago

F: Oh my

L: I told her I couldn't because there was a new girl in my life

F: Great! Now I'm the reason you won't move back to her. Excellent!

L: LOL

F: Would you ever go back?

L: Hell no! I escaped!!!

F: Sometimes I wish I was brave enough to escape

L: You are brave! But I'm glad you didn't escape... yet. Maybe we can escape together

F: :) Sounds lovely

L: It does. I gotta go, breakfast awaits

F: Enjoy

The shower gave him a welcome relief from his sexual frustration. While many Christians believed masturbation to be as horrible as murder, Lucas had spent time thinking and praying about that very subject... especially these days. Conviction over his past sexual sin had consumed him after Melissa. This was the reason for his two years of abstinence. It certainly wasn't due to a lack of women willing to have sex with him. In fact, he got offers from women at the gym nearly every week. Not to mention the ladies at work who made it obvious they'd be available at a moment's notice. Easy women didn't interest him though. His libido was well under control and had been for almost the whole time since Melissa. He could count on one hand the number of times he had pleasured himself in that time.

Faith's entrance into his life had thrown his libido a curveball, though. All of the sudden, he was ravenous and found controlling his thoughts and body quite problematic. He knew if he was going to try to behave in a way that was pleasing to God in his relationship with Faith, then something had to give.

From everything he read about it and discerned from the Bible, he knew it was best not to play with himself... however, if push came to shove he felt releasing his sexual tension would have to be okay, as long as what was happening in his mind as he did it wasn't creating lust or becoming disrespectful to another woman. That was the tricky part, keeping his mind clear while doing it. He failed at times, but that was what being a Christian was all about. Failure and forgiveness.

At breakfast, his mother sprung horrible news on him. Melissa and Mira were joining them for lunch at the club.

"Mother, you need to stop trying to put us back together. It's not going to happen."

"Oh, hush," she replied. "I'm not trying to do anything. Just getting some old friends together, that's all."

"I'm seeing someone in Fitchville, Mother. I told you that last night."

"Yes, I'm aware. What is this person's name again?" she replied, seeming already disinterested.

"Her name is Faith. She owns her own business in digital design and she is amazing."

"What do her parents do?"

"I honestly don't know, Mother. I didn't give her a background check. I just met her last week and we're taking things slow. What I do know is I like her. I like her a lot, so I'd appreciate it if you would cease and desist on the Melissa thing and let me live my own life." He kissed his mother's cheek and then left her to her own thoughts in the kitchen. It was going to be a long day, especially if he had to see M&M... the ex and the almost-stalker.

At the club, he went to the bar and ordered a fancy beer. To assist with getting through lunch. While he was waiting, Mira approached him.

"Hi, handsome!" she said.

"Hi, Mira," he replied dryly.

She stepped close to him. "I did some research recently, and I discovered something interesting, something I bet you'd like to know."

His beer came and he paid the bartender. "Oh, yeah, I can barely take the suspense."

"Faith..."

She had his attention now.

"That girl you've been palling around with... well, she has a secret. A big one." Mira was smiling, very proud of herself.

Knowing what was coming, he prepared himself mentally.

"Apparently, everyone in Fitchville knows, except you. You'll thank me for informing you." Mira leaned into him and whispered, "She's crazy." Her index finger circled around her ear. "She has some mental disorder that has put her in the loony bin a bunch of times."

Total disgust washed over his face. "Mira, mind your own business... please." He started to walk away.

"Oh... I get it... you already knew."

He turned to her but didn't say anything.

"I wonder how your mom would feel about you dating a complete lunatic?"

Slowly stepping up to Mira, he spoke harshly, "You really need to mind your own business, seriously."

She cackled in delight. "I tell you what, I'll make a deal with you. I won't tell dear old Mom, but you have to do something for me in return."

He just stared at her in disgust.

"Melissa has told me stellar things about you and your abilities... in the sack. You spend one evening with me and show me your skills, and I promise I won't say anything about your head-case girlfriend to your mother."

He rolled his eyes and looked away.

"Do we have a deal? I'm free tonight."

He looked into her eyes and spoke very calmly, "Do you hear how asinine you sound? Why in the world would I do something to endanger my relationship just to protect it? Mira, you need to grow up." He stepped away from her. "You do what you have to do, and I'll do what I have to do."

He walked out of the bar and into the lobby fuming mad, which didn't happen often. Guarding Faith's secret was highly important to him, but there was no way he was going to be sexually blackmailed. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes.

Melissa stepped up to him. "You doing okay there? You look a little stressed."

He frowned at her. "You think?"

"What's going on?"

He shook his head. "Your best friend is a train wreck."

"Yeah, I know. She's a mess. Let me guess... This has something to do with Faith?"

Lucas softened a little. "How did you know?"

Melissa rolled her eyes. "That's all I've been hearing about for the last week. Lucas this... Faith that... Life isn't fair... Wah." She looked into his eyes. "So, did you know already?"

He looked down at the floor. "Yeah, Faith told me."

Melissa chuckled kindly. "I kinda figured you did. You're the kind of guy that wouldn't mind something like that. A good guy."

"Thanks."

"I'll tell you what, I'll talk to Mira and get her off your back."

"How are you going to do that?"

Melissa shrugged. "Oh, I have some dirt on her that will shut her right up, trust me."

"And you would do that for me?"

"Sure. Things may not have worked out between us, but I still want you to be happy. I don't think there is one of us women walking around that isn't at least a little crazy, and I know how your mother is so... you... and Faith need all the help you can get."

That brought a small smile to his lips.

She patted him on the back. "Okay, I'm gonna go talk to Mira before she starts running her mouth. Don't worry. It's all under control."

"Hey, Melissa," he called out to her.

She turned and looked at him.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Lunch turned out to be uneventful. In fact, Mira didn't end up saying a word at all. She sat in her chair with a look of total humiliation. Whatever Melissa had on Mira, it must have been good.

L: How was your day?

F: Dandy, and yours?

L: Interesting

F: ??

L: Let's just say I'm looking forward to coming home

F: When you heading back?

L: Tomorrow morning

F: Drive careful, no texting while driving :)

L: Of course not

There was a lull.

F: Are you okay?

L: Frustrated. Sad.

F: :(

L: Yes :(

F: Do you need me to beat someone up for you?

The thought of her scrapping made him chuckle.

L: Ha ha - nice mental picture

F: I can be pretty feisty

L: I bet you can

L: Do you ever wish things were different, I mean in general

F: All the time, but it doesn't do any good

F: God never gives us more than we can handle with His help

L: Very true

F: Just trust Him. He knows what He's doing

L: Beautiful and smart

F: Handsome and sensitive

L: Shhh don't tell anyone

F: Don't worry, it's our secret ;)... I know - I have nice boobs, your man card is safe

L: LOL I might drive back right now just to hug you

F: Don't give your mother another reason not to like me

L: LOL

L: Faith... I'm really glad I met you

F: I'm glad you met me too :)

SUNDAY, DAY 10

WHEN FAITH WOKE up Sunday morning, her heart hurt a little bit. Lucas had said he was frustrated and sad. And that made her sad. It probably had something to do with his mother, and the only thing she could think to do to help was pray.

F: Good morning, handsome

L: :) Good morning

F: Sleep well?

L: Not really

F: I'm sorry :( Are you awake enough to drive?

L: Yep, I gotta get out of here. Leaving now

F: Feel free to come see me when you get back, if you want to

L: I'm there :)

F: I'll be home from church around noon

L: Then I will see you at 12:01

F: LOL

L: I'm not kidding

F: Good, be careful

L: I will. Leaving now xoxo

Her Sunday school class went well, but she still fought the urge to skip church and go home afterwards as anxiousness to see Lucas consumed her. But not going to church wouldn't make him arrive any faster. The service was long but good. The message was about how God gives us exactly what we need. God certainly seemed to be giving her what she needed lately.

Thank you, Lord! Thank you for taking such good care of me. Help me be pleasing to You in all I do.

She arrived home at 11:45 and sat on the couch to wait for Lucas. Her heart felt charged.

Finally, his knuckles rapped against the door. She stood and called him in, and he came in looking as fine as ever.

She grinned at him. "I almost forgot how good looking you are. Almost."

He seemed relieved to see her and his dimple showed that he missed her. Slowly, he removed his coat and tossed it on the chair. "Well, your beautiful face hasn't left my thoughts since I last saw you." They hugged for quite some time and the intensity of their embrace did not go unnoticed. "I'm so glad to be here."

She released him slowly, and their eyes met. "I'm glad you're here too." He looked tired and weary. "Come here and sit with me." She sat on the couch and patted the cushion next to her.

Moaning slightly as if exasperated, he lay with his head in her lap, gazing into her eyes. Her fingers instinctively sank into his brown locks while he closed his eyes. "I will give you three hours to stop that."

She giggled. "Feels good, huh?"

"It feels amazing."

Playing with his hair was fun. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes. And no."

After a pause, he sat up, looking a bit melancholy. "It was a rough trip."

"I'm sorry."

"It's my mom. She's... impossible."

"I'm sorry," Faith repeated.

Her hand went to his cheek. His face turned towards her palm and she felt a kiss on it as his eyes closed briefly.

"You look exhausted." She grabbed a pillow and put it on her lap.

"Yeah, I am." His head went to the pillow in her lap. He rolled onto his side, facing the television while her fingers played in his hair again.

"It will be okay," he said. "I don't have any doubts. Everything always just takes time with her."

"Just relax. Take a nap."

Lucas was asleep in only moments.

The television kept her company while he slept, head in her lap. Stroking his hair may have felt nice to him, but she was convinced doing it for him was just as valuable.

He was still asleep when 1:30 rolled around and the realization that she hadn't eaten yet hit her. A headache was brewing and the only way to resolve it was to wake him. A gentle kiss to the side of his face was sufficient to cause a stir. The second kiss was because she wanted to. "I'm sorry for waking you, but I need to eat."

He took a deep breath and then sat up, smiling. "That was a damn fine way to wake up. Thank you. I needed that."

"My pleasure. You can sleep on my lap anytime." Food. I must eat!

She returned with sandwiches and sat close to him, making sure they were touching. His hand went to her leg. Just that small touch caused her entire body to tingle. After they ate, she rested her head in the crook of his neck.

His arm went around her. "I feel like I've known you a lot longer than a week," he said.

"Ditto," she said. He smelled really good. A combination of some sort of soap and a touch of cologne. It was a perfect mix. Intoxicating.

Her arm twitched. Eyes closed, she hoped he hadn't noticed. Heart racing, another twitch occurred. She pulled away from their embrace as her leg twitched.

His hand gently stroked her leg. "It's okay."

"I didn't eat early enough so I..."

He stopped her. "You don't need to explain. What can I do?"

I'm so embarrassed, she thought. He's going to realize how broken I am, and it will be over before it even had a chance. Stupid OSP.

"Nothing," she said. "I'll be fine." Willing her body to stop never worked, but trying wouldn't hurt.

Pulling her close again, he placed her head to his neck where it had been. "You don't have to hide it from me. It's totally okay."

Eyes closed, her face went to his chest, inhaling the scent that defined him. Her arm twitched again. A gentle stroke of his hand went from shoulder to wrist, then back up.

"Don't ever let me keep you from eating again, please. I want to make your life better, not worse."

"I didn't mean to. And... I don't want to make your life worse either."

"What does that mean?"

"Your mom. Is she upset because of me?"

"Oh, Faith, no. It's not you. It's her. Trust me."

She didn't respond.

"She already has my life mapped out for me. A career in high finance, marriage to the wealthy stuck-up woman of her choice, three children... one girl and twin boys, a house down the street from hers... it's ridiculous. Anything outside of that is a disappointment. Obviously, my career choice doesn't have her approval, so I'm already a disappointment. I'm not upset about you. I'm upset that I'm never going to be what my mother wants or expects. I recognize it, and I accept it, but it makes me sad."

Feeling like a complete disappointment to her own parents for being such a drain on them, she understood how he felt. Nestling in closer felt natural. "Thank you for being honest with me, for showing me your sensitivity."

"It's our secret. Can't have everyone out there thinking I'm a big softy."

She giggled. "Your secret is safe with me. Do you need to grab my boobs or something so you can feel super manly?"

After a big chuckle, he spoke, "Ha. Best offer I've had all day."

I need to hear more laughter... "Well, if it makes you feel any better, you can be whoever you want to be around me... As long as you do exactly what I want, when I want it!"

Goal accomplished. "That sounds like a great deal, thanks!"

"You're welcome."

"What would you like me to do right now? I mean, if you expect me to do stuff, you have to at least tell me what you want. I know you women think we're mind readers, but... I don't have that skill."

I must pinch him for that comment.

"Ouch!"

She giggled and then bit her lip. What do I want him to do? Oh yes, I know! "I'm sorry but I have a very unpleasant task for you." She lifted her head to look into his gorgeous eyes.

"Uh oh, you're not going to ask me to clean your toilet, are you?"

"No, it's worse than that."

His eyes brightened.

"A kiss."

He closed his eyes, pretending to be annoyed by her request. "Oh no. I don't know if I can do that. It's horrible for you to even ask."

"I know." She wrinkled her nose. "I hate myself for asking such a terrible thing."

His laughter was rousing. "What kind of kiss are we talking about here? A kiss on the cheek?" He kissed her cheek. "A peck on the lips?" He gave her a long peck. "Or a full-blown, holy-crap-I'm-being-kissed kind of kiss?" He began to kiss her fully and did so for a long while. When he was done, he looked into her eyes. "So, what's it gonna be?"

Stunned, she said softly, "The last one. Definitely the last one."

"I was afraid of that, but... a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!" He took hold and began kissing her again. His kiss was intense, and his strong hands took control.

My heart is melting, my chest is aching, my head is dizzy. Amazing. Don't ever stop.

Each kiss turned into another, his tongue wrapping with hers. His eyes opened with hers and he smiled.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" he asked.

"No, not at all. Thanks for asking."

"Good." He dived right back in.

Her body was on fire for him; a raging, roaring, inferno. I hope he feels it too... I want him to feel it too! The blaze fueled with each stroke of his tongue, the impact of his touch bringing her closer and closer to what felt like a total collision of souls.

He laid her back on the couch and placed himself carefully on top of her. She had only made out with a handful of guys, and it had never felt anything like this. This was overwhelmingly tense and stirring. His excitement for her was obvious, and it made her smile. Yes, he feels it too!

Bending her leg then wrapping it around him so she could feel closer to his body, she sighed. It seemed to ignite him further as he pressed himself to her more. To her surprise, his hands were respectful, not grabbing at her or making her uneasy at all. Even with all the excessive energy between them, he managed to be gentle and sweet. There was no pressure from him to go further as they lay together kissing.

Taking a pause, he looked into her eyes, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You are so beautiful. How did I get so lucky?"

Nobody has ever felt lucky by being with me. I think I'm the lucky one. "You've only seen the good parts of me so far. Give it some time. Just wait till you see stubborn Faith! She's a real winner." She laughed with him.

"Wait until you see me try to fix something or try to find my way around town. I couldn't find my way out of a wet paper bag."

What a mental picture! Her head went back in laughter. "What else can I look forward to?"

He thought for a moment. "I'm a bit overprotective; aka smothering. I've been told it's annoying."

"You're annoying, huh?"

"Apparently. And you? What can I look forward to other than stubbornness?"

"You mean besides the severe mental illness?" she grinned.

"Yes, besides that."

"I'm not very skilled with patience. I must have gotten tired of waiting in line for it when God was doing the creation thing."

"Nice, you got impatient while waiting for patience! That's okay; I have enough for both of us." He brushed her hair with his hand again.

"And lucky for you, I have an excellent sense of direction," she replied.

"See, we're a perfect match." He kissed her lightly. "Faith Quinn, you are amazing."

She pressed her lips together, feeling a warmness overcome her as he began kissing her again. Their make-out session continued, getting extremely heated. Her body cried out to be closer to him than she already was. The attraction and passion were incredible.

Oh Lord, I want him so bad. I know I shouldn't, but I do.

In a moment of complete shock, her brain shot a wave of tingling pain through her head and both her arms jerked. She let out a cry of pain, causing him to stop immediately.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his tone instantly serious.

She put her hands to her head and closed her eyes, wincing in pain.

He sat by her side. "What can I do?"

"Nothing... I'll be all right. Just give me a minute."

He took her hand in his. "You've got quite a grip there, little lady."

"I'm sorry... too tight?"

"No, I can handle it." He squeezed back. "But it must be painful."

She took some deep breaths, made herself calm down, and before long, it was gone. She opened her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

He kissed her hand. "No, don't be."

She slowly sat up with his help. "Probably just the eating thing. It's gone now, but I'm feeling a bit tense. I need to relax."

"How do you do that?"

"Hot bubble bath."

"Okay, well... I can get out of your hair and let you do what you need to do," he offered.

"You can stay if you want," she offered, not really wanting him to leave.

"Are you giving me permission to watch?" He snickered, raising his eyebrows. "Just kidding. I should probably go home and get some more rest."

She looked into his eyes feeling completely connected. "I don't want you to leave, but... thanks for coming over."

Leaning to her ear, he whispered, "I don't want to leave either." She felt his lips on her cheek for a moment. "But... I must. Thanks for inviting me. I'll call or text you later to make sure you're feeling okay."

Their eyes connected.

Slowly, his lips made their way to hers and another sincere kiss began. Her belly quivered with emotion as his strong arms encircled her.

No, I don't want him to leave. I want him to stay right here... forever. Is that wrong?

He ended their kiss. "Yes, you might be the death of me, young lady."

Her forehead went to his. "No, this is merely the beginning, and it's all good."

His eyes pierced her soul as he smoothed her hair. "Yes, it is. I can't wait for the rest. You don't know how bad I want to fast-forward, but I can't. I better let you get that bath."

She nodded as he stood up and helped her to her feet.

After a peck at the door, he was gone.

Later, while soaking in a hot bath, she was glad her little "attack" had not been worse. The long dunk in the soapy water infused tranquility through her body. Afterwards, with some comfy clothes on, the rest of the day was devoted to relaxation. Thoughts of his lips on hers continued to sashay upstairs causing the downstairs to swelter and tremble.

Around six o'clock, her phone buzzed.

L: How are you feeling?

F: Good. Hot bath did the trick :)

L: Excellent!

F: Did you get some sleep?

L: Yes, just woke up

F: Long nap

L: Yes, aren't you glad I didn't stay?

F: No. Wish you were here now

L: Did you have some more 'work' for me to do?

F: LOL Yes!

L: Toilet?

F: If you want to, go for it

L: I think I'd rather do something else

F: I'd rather you do something else too

L: :)

F: You are a very good kisser

L: *blush* Thanks, you're not so bad yourself

L: I like you

F: I like you too

L: I like your boobs too ;)

F: You are definitely a man

L: Yes I am

F: Can me and my boobs make you dinner Tues night?

L: YES!

F: 6:00?

L: I'll be there

F: My boobs look forward to it

L: LOL Maybe I will get to meet them someday

F: Maybe ;)

L: I have tickets to a basketball game Thurs night, will you be my date?

F: Would love to

L: Dinner first?

F: More time with you, yes

L: More time with you, excellent

F: Speaking of dinner, I need to eat

L: Okay, sweet thing, go eat. Talk to you soon

F: Hope so

L: It's a certainty

TUESDAY, DAY 12

HER PHONE RANG while they were eating dinner at her place. It was her mother.

"I haven't spoken to her in a few days, so she's probably worried about me." She declined the call and then looked into his eyes. "I'll call her back in a bit."

Her eyes staring straight into his made his body feel heat like never before.

How the hell am I going to keep hanging out with her... without... uh, God! Help me! Make her stop looking at me that way... Oh, but I love it. I take it back, don't make her stop. Just help me control myself. I want to behave.

He adored the way she cuddled closely into his chest on the couch as they settled in to watch the movie he had brought. His arm around her felt very natural and comfortable but also very intense. Toying with her fingers, he turned his attention to the television.

Ten minutes into the movie, Faith's laughter tore his attention from the TV.

"What?" he asked.

She radiated embarrassment. "I... I'm so lost. I have no clue what's going on."

"Do you want me to start it over?"

She shook her head. "No, it's okay."

Attention back on the movie, he continued flirting with her hand.

Soon, her laughter disrupted him again. "What are you laughing at?"

"You're driving me crazy!" She looked so serious.

Oh, crap, he thought. I'm irritating her. What did I do? Whatever it is, I need to stop or she's not going to want to see me again.

"See," he said. "I told you I'm annoying! I'm so sorry; tell me what I am doing and I'll stop. I don't want to annoy you."

Her face was adorable. "No, you're not annoying me at all, silly. You're... making me... CRAZY! Like... ugh... I wish he would throw me down and kiss me crazy!"

I'm such a moron. "Oh... That kind of crazy."

"Yes... That kind of crazy," she replied with a giggle. "We can watch the movie; you just have to stop touching my hand like that, okay?"

There's no choice here, woman... If you want to make out, then I'm going to have to make out with you. He leaned into her. "Are you nuts? Watch this stupid movie or listen to you make the sexiest noise I've ever heard while kissing? Easy choice." Gripping her emphatically, control was all his. Her mouth tasted like sugar, absolutely unforgettable. The way her fingers sank into his hair gave him immediate rise.

Ugh, I want to grab her ass! I want to snatch her up and yank her to me hard. What I wouldn't give to strip her down bare and taste every inch of that skin. Feel her exposed breasts all over me... Oh, but I can't. I have to fight it. I've got to respect her. Kiss her. Just kiss her. Hard. If that's all I can do, damn it, she needs to know I mean it.

His hand went to the back of her head, deepening their kisses. She leaned back. She wants me to lay on her again. Oh God, I want to. I want her to feel how hard I am for her. I can't give it to her, but I want her to know it's there. He lay on her, grinding himself into her intently. Then he felt her open up to him, placing her legs around him, their bodies fit together in near perfection. The combination of her mouth kissing him so fiercely and their bodies rubbing together so intensely made him realize that even though sex may not have been officially occurring, his body was not aware of that technicality. Oh God, is this wrong? It doesn't feel wrong. It feels incredible.

A knock on her door stopped them abruptly. They looked at each other and in an instant, she seemed to know exactly who it was. "I hope you're up for meeting my parents because I'm ninety-nine percent sure that's gonna be them. Damn it, I should have answered the phone!"

Oh, crap... I'm so turned on right now, only a few moments from blowing my load. How am I going to pull myself together?

"Oh boy," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said, once more radiating embarrassment.

He sat up. "No, it's okay. I just need to... ya know... calm down."

Up she sat as well. "You and me both."

Another knock sounded as both Faith and Lucas got up from the couch. Her fingers straightened his hair then ran through her own. Hand on the doorknob. "Are you ready?" she asked.

"Yep."

And there they were, Mom and Dad Quinn looking very worried.

"Hi, Mom and Dad," she said sweetly.

"Faith! Thank God, you're okay! I was panicked when I didn't hear from you, and you didn't answer your phone. I just knew..." Just then her mother became aware of Lucas' presence. "Well, hello there."

"Mom and Dad, this is Lucas. I had him over for dinner. That's why I didn't answer the phone."

Her mother seemed embarrassed.

Lucas stepped up to Faith's mother and stuck out his hand. "Hi, Mrs. Quinn, Mr. Quinn. It's nice to meet you."

They both shook his hand. Mr. Quinn told him to call him George.

Faith invited them in, but they refused at first, saying they didn't want to intrude, but were easily convinced that they weren't interrupting--even though they most definitely were.

Faith told them to make themselves comfortable on the couch while Lucas brought two chairs from the dining room table over.

"What were you kids up to?" asked Mrs. Quinn.

Faith and Lucas looked at each other and smiled. "Watching a movie," she said, looking back at her parents.

"Oh, which one?"

Faith has no idea what it is; I better answer. "It's called In Time. It's about a world where instead of having money, they use time as currency." She'll owe me for that one.

Her father was very blunt, so he came right out and asked what he wanted to know. "Is this like a date or...?"

Faith frowned at her father. "Dad!"

Ha! He's hilarious. Does he not realize she's twenty-eight years old? Laughing, Lucas answered for them, "Yes, sir. It's a date."

"I'm not sure it's such a wise thing to have a date in your apartment, Faith."

Faith's face had never been more adorably red. She leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I'm so sorry."

Mrs. Quinn looked at Faith. "He's very handsome."

Faith squeezed her eyes shut, turning even redder.

Lucas grinned. This is hilarious! I can totally see Faith in her mom... And she thinks I'm cute. I'm in with her.

"What?" Mrs. Quinn asked as though totally unaware of her daughter's embarrassment. She looked at Lucas. "Well, you are."

"Thank you, ma'am." There was no way to stop the laughing.

George spoke with a stern voice, "Lucas, I don't know if you know this or not, but my daughter is a very special girl--"

Faith stood up, interrupting her Dad mid-sentence, "All right then! I think it's time for you two to go." She went to her mom, lifting her up to her feet and started to the door. "It was lovely seeing you and having you embarrass the crap out of me, but I would like to get back to my date now if you don't mind."

Her dad followed as Faith opened the door to push them out. He said, "What? What did I say?"

She pushed her mother out the door and then her father. "Thanks Dad. Talk to you later."

Her parents both leaned in to say bye to Lucas.

She closed the door and then flung herself on the back of it.

Lucas was putting the chairs back up to the dining table, grinning ear to ear.

"Oh. My. Goodness," she said, covering her face with her hands.

Lucas sat down on the couch. "They seem sweet."

"Sweet? It's times like this when I know exactly where my mental illness came from!" She laughed as she headed in his direction.

He reached his hand out to her and she took it and flopped down next to him. "It's nice to know your mother thinks I'm handsome," he said, teasing her.

Faith closed her eyes with her hand over her mouth. "I'm so embarrassed. I'm sorry about that."

"There is nothing to be sorry about. It was cute."

She smiled at him.

"Like you, cute." His lips found hers. "Now, where were we?"

She wrapped herself around him, giving him a deep kiss. He lay her back down and tried to pick up from right where they left off. Yes, this is more like it. I would much rather be deep inside this mouth than to be--

Another knock at the door.

Their kissing stopped. "You've got to be kidding me!" she exclaimed.

She saw her mother's purse on the way to answer the door. She grabbed it with a huff and stomped to the door. "Here, Mom." Her mom apologized and then Faith closed the door.

She's actually frustrated right now. It's quite amusing. It's nice to see a little different part of her personality. I like it.

She returned and met his lips with hers. "I think maybe we need to do all our making out at your place from now on."

"You might be right," he replied and then went after her, laying her back down for a third time.

She took a few deep breaths to calm herself from the parental disruption as he kissed her neck softly.

Oh, this neck, he thought. She smells like... vanilla. Her mom thinks I'm cute... Uh, no, I don't want to think about that right now.

Looking into her eyes, they both began laughing.

He sat up, then helped her up too. "I think the mood has been lost and has been replaced with hysterics."

"Sadly, I think you're right," she replied. "Let's just watch the movie."

He kissed her lips lightly. "I'll start it over."

"Good idea."

Remote in hand, the menu screen reappeared. Before the movie even got going, Faith quickly straddled his lap on her knees. She aggressively clutched his shirt. "You smell amazing. I don't think there is any way I can leave you alone." Her mouth dove into his.

This time, there was nothing funny about it. This time, he was completely consumed with her--her tongue, her lips, her hips, her body--and he wasn't going to let her go anytime soon.

Soon, his strong arms picked her up for a fourth time that night and lay her down on the couch. There was nothing gentle about her in those moments. He could tell she was seriously overcome with passion for him.

Stay respectful. I want to touch those magnificent tits but I better not.

As if she knew exactly what was on his mind, she grabbed his hand and placed it on her breast.

"Okay then," he said with a smile.

She opened her eyes. "You don't have to be shy. I told you, you were making me crazy!"

"Now you're making me crazy!" he replied. "And it's not about being shy. I'm doing my best to be respectful."

"Maybe I don't want you to be respectful."

Oh my Lord, You must help me. I truly don't know if I can stop myself if she is going to give me the green light.

His hand began to creep under her shirt... a palm full of fullness and lacy bra. Her nipple is hard, nice. Imagining himself deep inside her, his kisses intensified.

She ran her own hands over his chest. "Wow, that's a nice chest you've got there."

He smiled. "Thank you. I'm fond of yours as well, but you already knew that."

I need to be closer. If I could give her all of this, I would. Right now. I'd make her wail.

Removing his hand from under her shirt, it ventured down her side and took hold of her leg and then slid up under her rear. Her leg bent and he pressed himself into her all the more.

Sex is a wonderful thing, Oh Lord. Thank You for creating it. Thank You for this woman, but make us stop...

She reached for the bottom of his shirt, but both her arms jerked at the same time and she let out a cry. Oh no, she's in pain again. My sweet Faith. He quickly went to his knees and grabbed her hand, pulling her up to a sitting position and wrapping his arms around her. She pressed her face into his chest.

He kissed the top of her head. "It's okay, just relax."

Finally, her grip loosened on his hand and he started to feel her gain some strength in the rest of her body.

"Are you okay?" he asked, worried.

She nodded her head and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I'm okay," she said.

He relaxed a little and sat back but left his hands on her back. "I'm so sorry. Did I do something to cause that? Was I too intense?"

"No. I don't know what that was. I ate, I'm not tired, I don't feel stressed." He could tell she was embarrassed. "I feel good. Really good. Happy. Intensely attracted to you, like ready to rip my clothes off attracted to you. I'm sorry I killed the moment."

"You don't have to apologize." He leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"I'm gonna go see the doctor tomorrow and see what he says. That one kind of scared me." She seemed sad as she leaned into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her.

He had to be honest; it had scared him too. His heart pounding in his chest and his throat was dry.

I know she can't help it, he thought. I want to be supportive, but can I really handle this? What if she has a relapse? What would that be like? Can I be the kind of guy to stand by her? It's only been a few weeks since we met, and there are no strings attached yet. Maybe this is the time to get out. Maybe she was right from the beginning and we never should have tried to do this. Maybe all the other guys had it right all along not to get involved. Oh, but there are strings... I like her, a lot. If I leave, it will hurt. Both of us.

Tearing him away from his thoughts, she leaned away from him, breaking free from his hug and spoke as if reading his mind, "I give you permission to rethink this whole thing with me if you need to. I understand." She looked into his eyes with a sad smile and pressed her lips together. "I've had an amazing few weeks with you and I will never forget it. I know this is scary, and I get it if you need to exit. No hard feelings."

She's been through this before, he thought. I was just considering having sex with her, yet here I am thinking of leaving. What's wrong with me? We aren't ready for sex. It could ruin everything and hurt her deeply.

"You can leave if you want. To think things over."

He looked into her eyes and saw her completely for who she was; sweet, beautiful, feisty, strong... NO FREAKING WAY. His heart raced in his chest. "Not a chance. I'm not going anywhere."

WEDNESDAY, DAY 13

SHE CALLED DR. Guiley's office first thing the next morning, but they weren't able to see her until Friday, so she went ahead and made the appointment.

F: Hi

L: Hello, sweetie

F: I'm tired today

L: Not sleep well?

F: Not really. Was thinking

L: About what?

F: Someone really handsome

L: Don't tell me about your other men, it will make me sad

F: My other men? That's funny

L: I'm not laughing :(

F: You're my only man

L: Okay, I feel better now :) I don't like to share

F: Me neither

L: You don't need to, I'm all yours, if you want me

F: I do want you, all to myself

L: Okay, done. I'm yours

F: Are we official now?

L: I think we are

F: Excellent start to my day

L: Call the Dr yet?

F: Yes, appt on Friday am

L: I'll just have to take extra good care of you till then

F: I like the sound of that

L: Me too - Better go

F: OK Bye

She settled in and started work. It was comforting to feel more secure in her relationship with Lucas. If she was going to be honest, from time to time she found herself worrying about him meeting someone else. Even knowing how much he liked her, it wouldn't be too difficult for another woman, without the types of issues Faith had, to step into the picture and steal his attention away.

Daydreaming much of the day, thinking of him and how he kissed her, combing over their last night on the couch together and how heated it was, she found herself feeling the same way right then. Completely turned-on by the way he had touched her, the way he had kissed her, the way he had made her feel so cared for.

Will I be able to resist going further? she wondered. I want more. I desire him. I want to have sex with him.

Sometime in the afternoon, the thought of him with another woman came to her. From her own conversations with him, she knew he'd been with at least one woman, Melissa. What were the chances he'd been with others? She tried to stop thinking about it but couldn't. She didn't really want to know about his past; it hurt her heart to think about it.

If only I could pretend it was only ever me and him.

Just then, her brain started to hurt. This time it started slowly. Little pins and needles began to build in her head, so she called her mother right away. No answer, so she left a message.

She waited ten minutes and still no call from her mom. The pain worsened and she started feeling dizzy. Then she heard the voice that lived inside her. "Don't forget to get the mail today, Faith."

No... not the voice. Please, no!

This was bad. The voice was an indication that things were really not right.

I can't be alone right now but what can I do?

F: Lucas, are you there?

L: Yes. How are you this afternoon?

She paused, not sure she wanted to do this, but it hurt and she needed someone.

F: I hate to bother you but... can you help me?

L: You are not bothering me. What do you need?

F: I can't get my mom

L: Are you okay?

F: My body is telling me... I shouldn't be alone... I can't stop it

L: Okay. I'm coming over right now

F: Oh, Lucas, I don't want you to see me like this

L: It's okay, Faith. Don't worry

She started to cry, afraid this would ruin everything but she knew she needed him.

F: I'm so sorry

L: Nonsense. I'm honored. I'll be there in a few

She was lying on her side on the couch with her hands over her ears when he arrived. The voice in her head had only spoken the one time.

He knocked and came in, going to her side immediately. "Faith," he said quietly.

She was crying softly. "I'm so sorry," she repeated a few times.

"Shhh, it's okay. Don't be sorry. I'm glad you texted me." He put his hand on her back. "What can I do?"

"Just be here. And don't hate me if I say something crazy," she replied, still crying softly.

"I'm not going to hate you," he said, stroking her hair. "Just relax."

His words reminded her of exactly what she needed to do. Relax. She closed her eyes and took slow, deep breaths. Her arms and her legs relaxed. The feel of his hand on the side of her head, smoothing her hair, comforted her greatly.

Her arm tensed up, even though she was trying to relax. She watched him take her arm in his hands and stretch it out and then stroke it.

The pins in her brain intensified, bringing more tears. "It hurts," she cried as she raised her hands to the sides of her face.

He went to the bathroom quickly and retrieved a washcloth soaked in cold water. He placed it on her forehead. "Just relax," he said calmly.

Again, she released the tension in her arms and legs. The washcloth felt so good on her head, instant relief. Numbness arrived and a haze went over her. She knew this feeling... It was ending, but she was going to go into a sleep state. She had to warn him before she went out. "My memory... you..." was all she got out before passing out.

I'm inside myself... I want to get out. Oh God, help me get out. Just when panic began to set in, she heard a voice.

"Just relax Faith. It's okay. Relax and you'll be back soon."

Lucas, that's Lucas. He's here, and I am not alone.

"Oh, Faith. I can't believe how lucky I am that you even looked at me twice. You make me feel alive. I'm so glad I met you. I don't care about your issues; I just want to be near you. Relax, sweet thing, just relax."

I'm the lucky one, trust me. Oh, Lucas. You're amazing and I like you so much. Please don't give up on me. Please stick this out. Please be the one who stays.

Oh, crap... Where am I? Someone is touching me. Who's touching me?

He smiled, stroking her hair. "Hi."

Who the hell is he?

"How's your head?"

Do I know him? Damn, he's attractive. He's probably my brother. Gross, I just said my brother was attractive. I'm disturbed.

"Hi," she replied, putting her hand up to the washcloth and lifting it slightly. Pain returned the minute she lifted it so she put it back and the pain subsided.

"Sorry about the wet head, I was winging it."

She pressed her lips together and squinted. "I'm sorry, but--" She looked around. "I know I'm supposed to know you, but I don't know how or why."

He looked very surprised. "Oh... I'm Lucas. We're dating."

Do I look stupid to you, buddy? "That's funny."

"Why is that funny?"

She looked into his eyes. "Oh... You're serious."

"Yes, of course."

She closed her eyes and scrunched her face up for a second. "I thought you were making fun of me. Are you sure? You're dating me?"

He nodded. "Yes, very happily."

It started to come back to her. Pizza place, no wallet, Trailblazer... "Yes... Lucas... You like my boobs."

He laughed. "Yes, I do."

"And you're a really good kisser. Something about... raisins."

More laughter, louder. "Yes, that's me. You got it."

As her memory returned to her fully, embarrassment washed over her. She sat up, slowly removing the washcloth, and recoiled from him a bit. She let her hair hang down to the side of her face, shielding her from his view.

"Don't do that," he said.

She couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Don't do what?"

"Hide from me." He reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear, and she looked at him. He smiled. "You don't ever have to hide from me."

Her heart went light as a feather for a split second. "Sorry about all that," she said, and then her phone rang.

He grabbed her phone from the coffee table. "It's your mom."

"Will you talk to her? Tell her I'm okay."

"Sure." He answered, "Hi, Mrs. Quinn, it's Lucas."

"Where is she? Is she okay? Do I need to come?" Pure panic mode.

"She's fine," he replied very calmly. "I'm here with her now, and she's fine."

"I'm coming over."

"No, you don't need to. She's fine."

Faith reached for the phone, and he handed it to her. "Mom, I'm fine, so don't come over."

Faith's mother freaked out for a few minutes, but finally Faith said, "Mom... I've got to go. I'll call you later. Everything is fine." She ended the call and took a deep breath.

"You okay now?" Lucas asked.

She nodded and held up the washcloth. "Genius. Can you believe I've never tried that before? Where have you been all my life?"

He kissed her forehead. "I don't know where I've been, but I'm here now."

She leaned her head into his. "Thank you for coming. I hope you aren't upset with me." She cringed. "Did I say anything crazy?"

"No, not at all." He closed his eyes. "You thought I was teasing you about us dating though."

Embarrassed, she shook her head. "I'm sorry, I don't remember. Anything else?"

Hand on the top of her head, he gently brushed her hair to the side. "No."

Looking into his eyes, his relief was easily seen. "Congrats, you just survived your first crazy episode with Faith."

THURSDAY, DAY 14

IT WAS BASKETBALL-GAME night, and as much as he wanted to spend time with Faith, he was a little worried about taking her out to such a rowdy event. Keeping her safe, calm, and stress-free was of utmost importance. But she had insisted that she would be fine so they went ahead with their plans.

Keep her safe, Lucas! he thought.

His foggy mirror looked back at him.

She's my responsibility tonight. I must keep her safe and I must refrain from groping her. Respect! Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll look like hell tonight. Who am I kidding, she could be a week without a shower, wearing plaid pants with a shaved head, and I'd probably still want to plow her field... Twice.

After picking her up, they headed to dinner. They went to a little Italian place and had a nice, quiet dinner. She looked beautiful as always, had definitely showered, and was not wearing any plaid. She actually had a little something extra going on with her beauty. He wasn't sure what it was but... He saw it in her smile. It was as if she were completely happy and fulfilled. His heart soared at the thought that he might be making a difference in her life. He remembered the sadness he had seen in her the night they had met, and the woman he was looking at right now seemed to be a different person.

Their seats at the game were mid court about six rows back. He'd been to plenty of professional basketball games, since his company had season tickets, but this was her first. He was becoming more aware of her dislike of being in public, and he honestly didn't blame her. The way that people who knew of her stared and treated her as though she were damaged infuriated him.

He wondered if she might be happier living somewhere else, somewhere where no one knew her and she could just start over as a normal person. But her parents were here, her doctors were here... She probably wouldn't be willing to leave. He wiped the thought from his mind and focused on having a good time.

The game started, and it was loud! He held her hand non-stop and kissed her whenever the mood struck him. I want people to know she's mine. I want her to know I'm proud to be with her. There was no mistaking that they were together. Really together.

During one of the breaks in the game, she needed to get up to use the restroom. He wanted to walk her out, but she insisted on going alone. No sooner had she walked away than a guy two rows behind leaned over the row between them to tap Lucas on the shoulder. Lucas turned.

"Dude, you are brave."

Lucas was confused. "Why's that?"

"Your girl... She's crazy. You're brave to be hanging out with her."

Lucas had to take a deep breath as the words soaked in. Who did this guy think he was? Talking about Faith like that.

"I went to high school with her and... woohoo... loony."

Lucas turned back around in his chair. It took a lot to get him angry, but this did it. Punch him in the face.

He thought about it, then realized a big scene wouldn't be good for Faith. Ignoring it seemed to be the better option... For her.

She returned with a smile that broke his heart. She was completely unaware of what had been said about her, and his heart hurt over people seeing her that way. He took her hand, squeezing it tightly.

She looked into his eyes. "What? Why are you looking at me like a sad, wounded, baby bunny right now?"

He didn't say anything, just tried to adjust the look on his face to be less obvious.

"Fine, I'll figure it out myself. Someone said something to you about me."

She was good. She'd obviously been in this situation before.

"You want to kick some ass, but you're holding it in because you don't want to upset me."

He let out a laugh, amazed at her astuteness.

"So now it's just a matter of who." Her eyes darted, first to the left and then to the right, but she didn't see anyone she knew. Turning around she laughed aloud. "Oh, you can't let asshole Mike get to you. He's totally not worth it." She looked into Lucas's eyes with the type of expression that would light up an entire city block at night in a new moon.

Amazing, he thought. Simply amazing!

She turned to Mike and waved at him. "What's up, asshole Mike?" As if it was his real name. "You big, drunk loser."

"S'up, Faith," Mike replied.

She returned her attention to Lucas and winked. "You know, you don't have to feel sorry for me. I'm used it and it doesn't bother me anymore."

He leaned in, kissing her lips warmly. He stayed close. "You are an incredible woman."

"Why, thank you, sir."

He kissed her again, this time longer, and when he was done, all he could do was smile because she was smiling at him as if nothing else in the world mattered but them.

FRIDAY, DAY 15

DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT DAY had arrived. After a physical, a battery of blood tests, and two hours of brain wave measurement, all that was left was to nervously await Dr. Guiley's opinion on why her symptoms were giving her trouble. To her great relief, relapse was not a concern. He seemed to think her recent symptoms were the result of stress. He asked her if there was anything unusual happening in her life. Lucas. He was out of the ordinary for sure. After giving her some advice, he sent her on her way.

When she got to her car and turned her phone back on, a message from Lucas appeared.

L: Text me when you're done at the Dr.

L: Thinking hopeful thoughts for you :)

She smiled and replied.

F: I'm done

L: And?

F: Everything is okay

L: Oh good

F: Yes. I am relieved although still embarrassed

L: Stop it. No need to be

F: Thank you for being so understanding

L: Thank you for trusting me

F: I need to talk to you about something. Can I see you tonight?

L: My night was already reserved for you, my dear. Come over for dinner?

F: :) Sure

L: See you tonight, 6ish?

F: Okay

L: xoxo

They sat down at his dining table to eat together. She felt nervous about what they needed to discuss, so she was putting it off.

He came right out with it though. "I've got to be honest, I need to know what you wanted to talk to me about. It's killing me. My experience with the 'I need to talk to you' conversation is that it's usually not good. So, can you put me out of my misery quickly?"

She laughed, realizing how worried he was. "It's nothing to be concerned about, so relax."

He squinted at her. "I don't think I'll be able to relax until you tell me."

"It's embarrassing."

He reached for her hand and touched it gently. "You don't have to be embarrassed about anything with me, Faith."

Her nerves tingled and she took a deep breath. "My doctor asked me a bunch of questions today, and I think we figured out why I've been having some troubles with my symptoms lately."

"Okay," he replied.

"It seems to always happen when we're..."

"Making out?" he finished for her.

"Yeah."

"I noticed that too. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?"

She shook her head vehemently. "No. You're fine. In fact, making out with you is one of my favorite things to do." She meant it with all her heart.

"I like it too. Then what do you think it is?"

"Stress... caused by fear."

"Fear? Do I scare you?" he asked, seeming really concerned.

"No! It's not you at all. It's that the way I feel when we're together fooling around makes me want to go further with you. I've thought about it a lot, and even though I know it's not wise or righteous, I really want to."

"Sweetheart, you're not the only one."

Their eyes locked for a moment. "But the thought of going further, as nice as it sounds, totally stresses me out. My brain fast forwards past the sex to a really undesirable result that has scared me my whole life."

"Pregnancy."

She nodded. "Yeah. Then subconsciously I get scared. My stress level rises and my brain freaks out."

He nodded his head slowly. "It makes total sense, Faith. I understand completely." He reached for her hand. "So what are we going to do about it? I don't want you stressing over that at all. I want to be a source of only happy, good thoughts for you."

She took his hand and shrugged. "I don't want to stop. I absolutely love being close to you, kissing you, having your body on me, but I don't know what to do."

"Okay, let me be honest with you."

"Please."

"I'm not going to lie and say I haven't ever thought about having sex with you, because I have. Many times. Many, many times."

She laughed.

"You are completely amazing," he continued, "and I am so damn attracted to you it hurts me. It physically hurts me."

She laughed again.

"But I always end up feeling bad about having those thoughts. I think the fact I feel conflicted about it tells me I should be respecting you more than I have been. When I think about God's design for sex, it's not meant to be a part of a relationship until marriage anyway, and I made a commitment to try to do it right after Melissa. You... well... you torture me."

"Oh no! I don't want that."

"No, I don't mean it in a bad way. I mean... Damn, you're fine in every way a woman can be fine."

She bit her lip.

"Sex is supposed to be an act of love, not lust. I like you enough to really want to do this right, so let's do this: let's officially take sex off the table." He paused and looked into her eyes before adding a little caveat. "Unless, of course, we get married. Then all bets are off. You're all mine, and you won't be able to keep me off you!"

Heart palpitating at the thought of marrying him, she shook her head. I can't marry him. I can't marry anyone. I'm too broken.

"I will do my best to respect you more, and if we decide we want to fool around and we start getting too... heated... we'll just slow things down. But as of now, you do not need to worry about sex. It's not happening. That is a promise from me to you. What do you think?"

She just stared at him.

"What?" he said.

"For real? You--a man--are willing to take sex off the table?"

He laughed. "Yes. This may be difficult to believe, but men do not require sex to breathe."

"I know but..."

"But what?"

"You're really willing to..."

"Abstain? For you? Yes! Absolutely." He stole a kiss. "I'm not with you hoping for sex. I'm with you because you are an incredible woman and, Faith, I'm totally falling for you."

Her eyes widened slightly.

"Yes, that's right. I said it. I'm falling for you." He squinted. "Is that okay with you?"

She nodded slowly.

"Good. Because I don't think I could stop even if I wanted to."

She sat staring at him.

"What?" he asked again.

"I have never been more attracted to you than I am right now." She went to him quickly, straddling his lap and leaned her forehead into his. "How ironic is it that I totally want to make out with you right now?"

"If you think about it, it would be a shame not to test out our theory, right? We owe it to ourselves to make out a little and see if taking sex off the table will keep your symptoms at bay."

"Absolutely."

He stood up and pulled her towards his bedroom. They bounced when making contact with the bed, and she kept her arms wrapped around his neck. He said, "Just so we're clear here, sex is not happening. It's off the table. No matter what."

She smiled. "No matter what."

"Even if you beg for it."

"Even if you beg for it," she replied right before his mouth dove into hers.

Her soul was completely relaxed as they kissed each other passionately, his body on hers.

"You smell so good, Lucas."

"You taste so good."

Both their eyes opened as their mouths hovered and their body's blended.

"Being with you like this, it's a piece of heaven." She lowered her chin, biting her lip.

He began kissing her neck. "Vanilla, you smell like vanilla, and I want to eat you."

His teeth gripped her flesh lightly, causing a chill to shoot through her core. She found herself wanting him closer and gripped him with her legs. "I want to rip my clothes off and feel you all over me." She closed her eyes, reaching under his shirt to that incredible chest. She moaned.

He pulled himself away from her, sitting up. "We need to stop."

Surprised... her feelings were hurt... bad. Tears built in her eyes.

He turned and looked down at her. "Oh, my gosh, Faith. What's wrong?" He went to her, his face close.

She creased her brow, looking into his eyes. "Are you... not attracted to me? Is that why you suggested we don't have sex? Because you don't want to?"

Eyes wide, he said, "No! Faith... you don't need to worry about that! I have never been more attracted to anyone in my entire life. Please believe me."

Really?

"At the risk of being crude..." He reached down, pulling her left knee up to his waist, pressing his hips to her. "Do you feel that? Tell me you feel that. You've got me hard as a rock."

She closed her eyes tightly, laughing with embarrassment.

"I am too attracted to you. That's why I suggested we stop. I suggested we take sex off the table because I don't want you to be worried or stressed. I want to do this right. I don't want there to be anything you regret when you think about us, and I want to please God with our relationship because you are truly a gift to me, from Him. Please tell me you understand."

She opened her eyes. "Really?"

"Really. I think my body kind of speaks for me though... I'm definitely attracted to you. More than you can possibly imagine."

She smiled.

He nestled in, giving her a light kiss. Then another. And another. Then it became passionate again. She brought her other knee up to his waist and wrapped her legs around him, moaning again.

He kissed her neck and then raised himself up slightly to look down at her. "You doing okay? You believe me now?"

"Yes, I believe you. I gotta be honest, I'm feeling a little frustrated." She felt his excitement pressed into her, and it was like torture not to be able to have more.

"We should stop," he said. "As much as I don't want to... I think we need to."

"One more kiss," she requested.

He gave her what she wanted but apparently couldn't help but grind himself against her again. She moaned through their kiss, and he smiled as he pulled away. "Yeah, we need to stop. That sound you make is making me crazy, because I know exactly what it means."

Her body was on fire for him. "What do you think it means?"

He lifted himself off her while looking down. "It means you want what I want. But I made you a promise and I intend to keep it, so we have to stop."

"Stopping sucks."

He laughed and hung his head a little. "Yes, it does. But we'll survive."

"You're a good man, Lucas."

"I want to be the kind of man who deserves you." He leaned into her to give her one more quick kiss then got up from the bed and held his hand out. "Let's go pour cold water on each other or something."

She laughed, taking his hand.

Their make out session was officially over and her brain never hurt once. No symptoms at all. Success.

MONDAY, DAY 18

F: Warning!

L: Uh oh, What?

F: Feeling overly emotional :( You might want to steer clear

L: Nah, I can handle you

F: Don't say I didn't warn you

L: Is it 'that time'

F: Don't be THAT guy

L: What guy?

F: The guy who thinks being emotional is always because of 'that time'

L: Oh, THAT guy ;)

F: I took my meds late last night

L: FAITH!

F: I know. I'll be okay, just wanted to warn you

L: Would you like to come over tonight and sit by the fire with me? I'll get wine and hug you lots

F: Sounds wonderful

L: See you tonight xoxo

Faith snuggled into him on the couch as the fire danced in front of them, warm and comforting, making her feel right at home, even at his house. She inhaled his scent and felt her emotions stir.

"May I ask you a question?" he asked.

"Sure."

"Have you ever... had sex before?"

His question totally shocked her. After a double take, she took a deep breath.

"You don't have to tell me," he said. "I was just curious."

"Once," she replied. "But it was a huge mistake, one I regret terribly."

"What happened?"

She sighed and leaned into him. "I was in college, and this guy, Chris, started courting me. He seemed nice and sincere but I was skeptical. It took a long time for me to agree to go out with him, but when I finally did, he was really nice. We started dating and after a few weeks, he started to pressure me a bit, for sex. I didn't really want to, but he was the first guy to want to date me, so I felt like I needed to do whatever I had to keep him interested. It kind of felt like my only shot at a relationship. I decided to go ahead and do it. After, he treated me very different, as if he wasn't interested in me anymore and I found out, the only reason he had dated me was because of a bet. His friends had bet him a hundred dollars he couldn't get the crazy girl to sleep with him."

Lucas's voice was appalled. "Faith, that's horrible. Is he here in town?"

"No, so you can't go find him and kick his ass."

"I love when you read my mind!" He stroked her hair sweetly. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay; I threw a chair at his head. That's got to count for something."

"Did you hit him?"

She scrunched her face up. "Broke his nose."

"Good! He deserved worse."

She shrugged. "I was young and stupid." She nestled her head into the crook of Lucas's neck and began to think. How many women were on his list? Did she really want to know? It was the past and he was with her now, so maybe it would be a good thing to be aware of. "What about you? How many women have you been with?" she asked, her heart beating in her chest already aching at the thought. And just as she was about to retract the question, he answered.

"Six."

Heart. Stopped. Chest. Frozen. She wished she hadn't asked.

He continued speaking, unaware of how she was feeling. "Two girls in high school, three serious relationships and unfortunately... I had a one night stand once, which was a stupid, drunken mistake and I don't even remember her name."

Tears, oh God, no. I don't want to cry over this. He'll think I'm more insane than I already am. But they came anyway. Her heart hurt in a way she had never felt before. Doing her best to hold it in, she held her breath. I don't want him to feel bad about his choices. I certainly don't want him to think I'm judging him, but God, it hurts. So bad.

Apparently, he had noticed her distress. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." He squeezed her tightly, leaning his head into hers.

"No, it's okay." She took another breath still trying not to cry. She held her breath, embarrassed to be reacting this way. She tried to speak. "I'm... I'm just emotional today. It's not a big deal. I... don't want... you to... feel bad," she said, trying to keep from crying. "It's just..." She started to sob.

His arms wrapped around her tightly as she curled into herself. "No, don't pull away from me, Faith. I'm so sorry."

I need to be alone for a while to get my feelings out without worry of how he will feel. I don't want him to feel bad, but I need to get out of here.

She stood up and went to the closet to get her coat. "I need to go home, I'm sorry."

He stood up. "No. Please don't."

"I'm not mad at you; I just need to be alone. I'm sorry." With tears in her eyes, she put her coat on.

He walked over to her.

She kissed his cheek sweetly. "It's okay. I'll call you later."

Once home, she went straight to bed and curled up inside her blankets. She cried for hours. Knowing that she was being overly emotional didn't make it stop, because she also knew it really did hurt her heart. Thinking of this man, whom she cared about so deeply, sharing himself with other women cheapened what she felt they had together.

I don't want to just be another girl in his life, she thought. I wanted to be special. How can I be special if he's already done all there is to do? How can I be special if he's already given himself away? Oh my God... I'm falling in love with him.

Some hours later, her phone buzzed. She lifted herself out of her covers and slowly went to her phone, wiping her tears away so her eyes could focus.

L: I am so sorry

She took her time to answer, not really knowing what to say.

F: I don't want you to feel bad

L: I know, but I can't help it, I feel horrible

F: Don't

L: I'm sorry

F: Stop

L: Are you still crying?

She didn't answer.

L: I am so sorry!

F: I'm over sensitive right now

L: I care about you so much, please believe me

I don't want to hear that right now! How many girls has he said that to?

She started to cry harder.

F: You're making it worse, just give me some time

L: I'm sorry

F: I'll talk to you soon, gotta go

L: Okay

He did his normal thing at 10:00 p.m. and texted her a reminder.

L: Don't forget your medication

I don't want to talk to him, she thought. But I don't want him to think I'm mad.

F: Thank you

L: Are you okay?

No, I'm not okay. Not at all. You have nothing left for me. Even if you wanted to give me something special... it's gone! It makes me sad... and angry, but mostly... heartbroken.

F: My heart hurts

L: So does mine

F: Goodnight, Lucas, it will be okay

L: It's not going to be okay until it's okay, not for me

F: I'm sorry your heart hurts, that is not what I intended

L: No, I'm the one who is sorry. Deeply. Please believe me

F: I do. Goodnight

L: Please talk to me, Faith

F: I can't, not right now. Goodnight

L: Okay. Goodnight

TUESDAY, DAY 19

SLEEP? LUCAS THOUGHT. Who the hell needs sleep?

Lucas lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.

Women. Damned overly sensitive, dramatic women. If only it were that simple, I could toss her out and just find someone else to dote on. But, if I'm going to be honest with myself, I have to admit that I kind of get where she's coming from. I hate the thought that some other guy has been with her, even if it was as horrible as she said. That might even make it worse... He'd had her and hadn't appreciate her at all.

Damn it. I feel like she's slipping right through my fingers and I'm powerless to do anything about it. I wish I could take it back, but what's crazy is that it's not the telling her about it that I would take back. It's the doing it that I would take back. Not one of those sexual experiences is worth losing her. But it might be too late. Damn it! Please, God, don't let it be too late.

His heart ached within his chest and sorrow consumed him. Faith had said she needed time, so that was what he would give her. He had to let her figure it out on her own and just hope she would come to him once she sorted out her feelings. The past couldn't be changed no matter how much he wished it could.

He didn't hear from her all day.

That night, he sent his standard message.

L: Don't want to bother you, but don't forget your meds. I'm thinking of you

About five minutes later, she answered.

F: Thank you

L: You're welcome

He waited for a while but she didn't respond. He had one last thing he wanted to say, just to make sure she knew.

L: Faith... I care for you more than I can say. My heart is yours. I hope you can forgive me

She didn't respond which made him all the more sad and worried.

What if this is it? What if my behavior in my prior relationships ruined my chance to be with the woman I care for more than I've ever cared for anyone? This is torture.

WEDNESDAY, DAY 20

HIS PHONE BUZZED early, waking him from a very inconsistent sleep. He hoped it was Faith.

F: You said you really care about me

L: Yes

F: Did you mean it?

Oh God in heaven, yes. Make her believe me.

L: Yes

She didn't respond.

L: Are we okay?

F: My heart still hurts. I can't explain it. I wanted to be special to you

L: You are, very

F: How can I be when we don't do things you've already done

L: You mean more to me than anyone ever has, please believe me

Again, no response.

L: Please forgive me

F: It's not about forgiving you; you have done nothing that requires my forgiveness

L: Then what can I do?

F: Can you make my heart stop hurting?

L: I can try, if you let me... Can I see you? Can we talk? So I can try?

Another long pause.

Please God, let her say yes. I'm begging.

F: Yes

Thank you!

L: I don't want to lose you

F: I don't want to lose you either

Plans were made to see each other that night. He would be going to her place and hopefully everything would work out fine.

He felt nervous as he knocked and even more nervous when he saw her face through the opening door. Sadness persisted in her eyes as she invited him in.

He took his coat off, and she hung it up for him.

He went to her immediately with a tight hug and was quite relieved to feel her hugging him tightly in return.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't want you to feel bad. That was the last thing I wanted."

I'm not letting her go! "I know but I'm the one who's sorry. I really truly am. If I could take it all back, I would."

"I told you I'm stubborn."

He laughed slightly. "I don't think you were being stubborn. I think you were legitimately hurting."

She started to release him from their hug. "It didn't help that my meds were late the night before."

"I know, but I think you would have been upset anyway."

She nodded her head. "Probably, but I don't want you to think I'm just being a silly jealous girl. That's not it."

"I know, Faith. I know it isn't that simple. I get it more than you know."

She looked into his eyes.

"It's about righteousness and God's plan and the intimate gift that isn't there anymore. Am I right?"

She nodded. "But I'm no different, so I don't know why it hurt my heart so much. I'm sorry for making you feel so terrible. I didn't mean to."

He put his hands to her face, one on each cheek, and looked deep into her eyes. "I don't want to see you hurt, especially because of me. I truly regret my past indecencies, and I wish I could go back and make the decision to wait for you, but I can't. I just need you to believe that if I could, I would. In a heartbeat. That's how much you mean to me."

"You've only known me for a few weeks."

"And you've only known me for a few weeks. You must feel something for me, something pretty strong and important, for you to be so upset."

Her face showed he was correct, but she didn't admit it.

He wrapped his arms around her again, holding on tight. "So, are we okay now?"

She nodded into his chest. "Yes. We're okay. Just please don't ever talk about that again. Even if I ask, shut me down. It's not something I can handle."

"Never. I promise." He closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head.

"And can you do me a favor?" she asked seriously.

He looked down at her. "Anything."

A sly grin covered her face. "Keep it in your pants from now on."

"Sure thing," he replied chuckling. "Until I'm married, that's where it will remain."

THURSDAY, DAY 21

FAITH'S PARENTS WERE having them over for dinner for the first time. Lucas wasn't the type to get nervous around parental units, but he had to admit there was a little twinge of uneasiness. Getting in good with Faith's parents was important to him. He hoped to be sticking around for a long time, maybe even permanently.

It went well. Dinner was good and the conversation was easy. Her parents asked him all the normal questions about himself and seemed to really like him. Her mother commented on how handsome he was several times, each time causing Faith to blush and Lucas to laugh.

After dinner, Lucas and Faith's father went into the living room while Faith and her mother cleaned up in the kitchen. It was then that George took the opportunity to give Lucas a little advice about his daughter.

"I really like you, Lucas. You seem like a nice young man."

"Thank you, sir. I'd like to think I am." Although I hope I'm not about to get a Dad lecture.

"Faith told her mother and me that she explained everything about her condition to you."

"Yes, she did. She told me everything before we even went on our first date."

George shifted in his seat slightly. "I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but do you mind me asking why you're here?"

"What do you mean, sir?" Lucas felt confused.

"I mean, if she told you everything, then why are you still here?"

Lucas was surprised to hear such a question from her own father. Oh, hell no! "Mr. Quinn, can I be honest with you?"

"I wish you would."

Lord, help this come out correctly. After a deep breath, he spoke confidently, "I find the fact you would even ask me such a question to be an indication that you don't have the slightest idea how amazing your daughter really is. She is a person, a person with an illness, yes, but she is so much more than an illness. She's smart and funny, strong and sensitive, beautiful and giving, stubborn and set in her ways, and even though I have only known her for three weeks, I can tell you honestly, I can't imagine my life without her."

George was speechless.

There, he thought, I've put you right in your place, Mr. Quinn, and boy did you deserve it.

Just then, the ladies joined them in the living room. Faith went straight to Lucas and sat on his lap sideways. "Is my father being nice to you?"

Lucas nodded. "Of course he is. Why wouldn't he be?"

"Oh, he has a tendency to be a bit overprotective... Right, Dad?"

George just nodded.

The room was quiet. Faith looked at Lucas with a squint, as if to ask him what happened. He returned a grin.

She stood up. "Okay, I think we're going to head out. Thank you for having us for dinner." She went over to her dad and gave him a hug.

Lucas held his hand out to George for a shake. "Thank you, sir."

George shook his hand. "No, Lucas. Thank you."

Once in the car, Faith looked over at Lucas. "Spill it. What happened between you and my father?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes, I would," she replied as he drove towards the gorgeous sunset in front of them. "He gave me an extra long hug and told me he loves me. Those words rarely exit his mouth. Something happened and I want to know what."

"It's nothing you need to worry your beautiful mind over," Lucas said, reaching over for her hand.

She took his hand. "You're not going to tell me?"

"Nope!"

"Not fair. I have never seen my dad silenced like that. It must have been good."

"Oh, it was. It sure was, little lady."

FRIDAY, DAY 22

IT HAD BEEN a long time since she'd been to a bar. Probably since college. There had been no reason to go because she didn't have friends and didn't drink often. Meeting new people or letting people who already knew her stare or whisper about her wasn't high on her priority list either. Being at home was much more comfortable, but Lucas' friends were getting together, and he had asked her to join him. It was time to step out of her comfort zone. For him.

He picked her up at 7:00 p.m., looking ridiculously fine. Jeans, black shirt, black boots, and damn that cologne. Whatever it was, it was powerful stuff, even though he only wore a little.

"Thank you for agreeing to come tonight. I know it's probably not your favorite thing to do. I'm excited for my friends to meet you, and I want you to know that I'm proud to have you on my arm no matter where we go."

He deserves a hug for that comment. "How about a glass of wine before we go? To settle my nerves a little."

"Absolutely."

He followed her to the kitchen where she poured them both a glass of Merlot. She gave him a coquettish smile.

"Watch it, little lady, that is the kind of smile that makes me want to keep you here at home to do stuff that is off the table."

If only we could go roll around naked for a few hours, she thought. He just might be the sexiest man alive. I mean, he deserves to be on the cover of People magazine. He might even be able to kick that blue-eyed, dark-haired, Vampire Diaries hunk of a bad boy's ass right off the page. Nah... Nobody is hotter than Ian Somerhalder. Sorry, Lucas.

Her hand in his, they headed inside the bar to meet his friends.

The first of Lucas' friends that she met was Donovan, a tall, attractive African American with blue eyes. Donovan was a transplant to Fitchville, which was one of the reasons he and Lucas had become friends. They had a lot in common trying to fit into this small town. Donovan was from Minneapolis and was extremely friendly. In fact, he was a bit flirty, teasing Lucas about how Faith would be leaving with Donovan that night instead of Lucas. Faith knew he was just teasing, but it was fun to pretend not one attractive man wanted her, but two.

Next, she met James. James was shorter, with blonde hair and brown eyes. He was a little bit rounder and was really funny. A transplant also, from a small town in Iowa. He kept Faith laughing, usually at Lucas's expense. The three friends got along well, and she could easily see why Lucas liked hanging out with them. They were fun.

Donovan was a touchy-feely type of guy, touching Faith often. He put his arm around her trying to get Lucas jealous. He even kissed her on the cheek. But Lucas drew a line in the proverbial sand when Donovan pretended he was going kiss her for real. Lucas stepped in and kissed her himself right in front of everybody. And not just any kiss, he gave her one of his incredible weak-in-the-knees can't-stand-up-on-my-own kind of kisses.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"Just in case you're falling for all of Donovan's charm. Wanted to make sure you still wanted to leave with me."

Wrapping her arms around Lucas's neck, she gave him another coquettish smile. "I came with you, I'm leaving with you."

Just then, a girl she hadn't met yet joined the group. Leah. She was the attractive brunette from the pictures on Lucas's birthday night. Lucas released Faith and went to Leah, giving her a hug, and then introduced the two women.

Leah seemed surprised to see him with a girl, but she was polite to Faith. Lucas came back to Faith and put his arm around her as he chatted with his friends.

Time for a bathroom break. I need to get away from the crowd for a moment. Lucas kissed her quickly on the lips before she left him. As she walked through the crowded bar, a few people she recognized from high school noticed her. She quickly turned her eyes away, tucking her head down and dodged into the ladies room.

Much quieter in there, she was able to hear herself think. The mirror helped her primp. The door opened as she was gliding on some lip-gloss. Leah appeared through the opening door.

"Oh, hey... Faith? Is that right?" she asked.

"Yeah, you're Leah," Faith replied just to make sure she had the name correct.

Leah started fixing herself in the mirror next to Faith. "So, you and Lucas, huh?"

"Yeah, we've been seeing each other for a little while." Her smile was unstoppable.

"Does he know?" she asked, then pressed her lips together for lipstick reasons. Leah looked Faith in the eyes, waiting for an answer. "Or should I tell him?"

A threat. Great. Faith huffed and smiled. "You like him, don't you?"

Leah grinned. "I've been working on him long before he ever knew you existed."

Faith took a deep breath. "You know, Leah, I don't really give a shit what you do. Tell him, don't... Makes no difference to me. I'm comfortable with who I am. I'm sorry you aren't." Faith turned and left the bathroom, heading back to Lucas.

The guys were laughing loudly over something. Faith went straight to Lucas, and he pulled her into him, wrapping his arm around her. She tried to smile, but it was difficult.

He turned to kiss her cheek and noticed her discomfort. A whisper, "Are you okay?"

A straight-faced nod was all she gave him.

Whispering again, "Someone said something to you."

She glared at him.

"Who was it?" he asked angrily.

She continued her glare at him. "Don't worry about it."

"I am worried about it. Tell me who it was."

Donovan saw that Lucas and Faith were talking seriously. "Hey, man, what's going on over there?"

Faith looked at Donovan. "Nothing. It's fine."

"No, it's not. Someone here did something to upset her, and she won't tell me who."

She glared right into his eyes, praying he would drop it.

Leah walked up. "It was me, Lucas."

He turned to Leah. "What are you talking about?"

Leah smiled. "I think she's just upset because she's about to be busted and the truth hurts."

Lucas deepened his stare into Faith's soul and seemed to know exactly what happened without a word being spoken. Faith said, "I'm sorry," and then looked away from him. He was about to get completely embarrassed in front of his friends and it was all her fault. This is why I don't like going out.

He pulled her into his chest, kissing the top of her head. Index finger up, he spoke to Leah sternly, "You better think before you speak."

Leah gave him a confused look, as did Donovan and James.

Leah said, "What? I'm not the one who's crazy."

And there it was, the true colors of a person with no tolerance or compassion. Faith was close to tears.

Lucas looked directly into Leah's eyes. "Now I'm done with you. Don't ever talk to me again. Do you hear me? Ever."

"Dude, what's going on?" Donovan asked.

Leah was stunned and looked over at Donovan. "I guess he's lost his mind too. His little girlfriend there, she's mentally ill. Like for real."

Faith broke herself away from Lucas. "Yep, that's me. Lucas is dating a mentally ill, bat-shit crazy, loony girl. Now you all know."

Conversation between them fell silent although the bar was still very loud.

James broke the silence. "Hey, well, that's okay with me. Crazy girls are more fun to be around."

Donovan grabbed a shot. "I'll drink to that." Down it went.

Lucas pulled Faith to him and looked at Leah. "Just to be clear, I'm done with you."

Leah turned and walked away without a word.

Lucas kissed Faith on the forehead. "Sorry about that."

Donovan smiled at Faith. "Girl, it's all good. If my man Lucas thinks you're good people, then you're good people."

Faith smiled into Lucas's chest as he hugged her with his arm.

Exhausted by the time they got in the car to head home, Faith leaned her head back on the headrest as she peered at Lucas. "Your friends are nice. Most of them anyway." She laughed slightly. "Leah likes you. She told me she's been 'working on you' for a long time."

"Yup, I'm aware."

Faith smiled. "But she can't have you."

He pulled into her apartment complex and parked. "That's right." He leaned into Faith. "I'm already taken by the prettiest girl I've ever seen." He kissed her.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON, DAY 23

FAITH WENT TO his apartment to watch some football, which wasn't her favorite thing to do, but he seemed to appreciate her willingness to watch with him anyway. She brought a book with to read, just in case she became too bored by the game.

They sat together on the couch, making sure they were touching at all times. She leaned into him slightly and his arm went around her. Soon, she got her book out and started to read.

"Whatcha reading?"

"Second Chance by Natasha Preston." She held the cover up for him to see. "It's about love, loss, and moving on."

"A chick book, huh?"

Laughing, she said, "No! Just read the first line... You'll be interested."

He grabbed the book from her and began reading aloud. " 'Lift your leg higher,' Logan said..." Lucas's eyes went wide. "Oh, it's one of those books."

She grabbed it from him. "I thought you'd like that."

Just then, the Wisconsin Badgers stole his attention. He stood cheering and then shouted loudly.

Men, she thought. If you want to see them passionate, just put a large man wearing lots of gear dropping a ball in front of them. Or the opposite. A petite, naked girl on top of them willing to fondle balls.

As the game continued, he would jump up and shout, disturbing her from her reading. Funny man.

During a commercial break, he got up to get a couple of sodas from the fridge. She watched him walking away from her. That is one fine rear. As she watched him, she began to feel dizzy. She closed her eyes. Uh oh. I know this feeling. Something is not right. Is this... is this going to be an episode?

She waited a moment to make sure. Yes. Oh no. Yes, I'm going into a full episode. She blinked a few times and called to him quietly. "Lucas, can you come back."

I need to warn him, she thought. He's about to experience another side of me. I'm scared. What if it's too much for him? What if I scare him off?

"Lucas," she called his name again, just a little louder.

He stepped out of the kitchen and looked her way.

She motioned for him to come.

He went to her quickly, kneeling before her. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head as her book fell from her hands. "I'm gonna... pass out in a minute. I'm not gonna make sense... I'm sorry."

He held her hand in his and squeezed it. "Just relax, Faith. It's okay. I'm here."

"Call my mom," she said as her brain became fuzzy and dull. "I'm sorry," she repeated and then closed her eyes.

SATURDAY EVENING, DAY 23

LUCAS CAUGHT HER as she passed out.

Oh shit, he thought. What do I do? Breathe. Breathe. Call her mom. She said to call her mom.

Frightened but still calm, he laid her on the couch gently and then retrieved her phone from the coffee table. Find Mom. Dial. Ring.

Tapping his foot nervously, he listened to the line ring. After three rings, her mother answered, obviously thinking he was Faith, "Hi, dear, how are you?"

Lucas spoke calmly, "Hi, Mrs. Quinn, this is Lucas. I'm using Faith's phone and I'm sorry to bother you."

"Oh, hi, Lucas. Is everything okay?"

"Um, no. She's over at my place. She told me to call you and then she passed out."

When Mr. and Mrs. Quinn arrived, they greeted him quickly and then went straight to their daughter's side. Lucas was feeling very protective and wanted to be the one to help, so he made sure he was right there next to her.

Her mother started to try to wake her.

At first, nothing happened, but soon Faith started to wake.

Her mother looked at Lucas. "I don't want you to be surprised. She might be agitated."

Faith stirred and her body jerked a bit. Crying, her hands went to her head. Soon, the cry became panicked screaming. Lucas remembered how much the cold washcloth had helped the one night, so he went for a repeat. Her mother tried to stop him as he was placing it on her forehead, but he insisted. Within only a few seconds, she calmed down and rested herself back on the couch quietly. Her eyes were open now, staring at the ceiling, fixed and glassy.

She began rambling about needing to sharpen all the pencils at her desk. Her mother just appeased her and soon her mind went to another topic. The need for a hike in West Virginia. Finally, she looked at Lucas and reached for him. He grabbed hold of her. "I'm sorry, Lucas," she said. "I've ruined our date."

He smiled and kissed her hand. "Nonsense. Just relax."

She closed her eyes and released Lucas.

A moment later, without warning, she flailed her arms and yelled. "Get off of me! Don't touch me!" No one was touching her at all but she repeated it over and over, getting ever angrier.

Her parents decided to take her to the hospital. Lucas stepped in when her dad was getting ready to pick her up. "I'll get her." Her body was almost limp as he lifted her.

She whispered, "I'm so sorry," then went unconsciousness again. It was the strangest thing he had ever seen. I'm so glad I took the time to ask her all those questions in the beginning.

He didn't put his coat on or even lock his door, just headed out of the apartment. Lucas knew he had to be the one to pick her up if he wanted to remain involved with her care, and confirmation of this came when her mother tried to talk him into putting her in their car. He knew they would exclude him, send him away, so he insisted his car was best.

At the hospital, he gave her over to the staff. Only one person could go with her and it made sense for it to be her mother. Lucas sat with her father doing the only thing they could. They waited.

"Lucas, you can just head home if you want. Her mother and I have been through this many times. It's going to take a while."

Lucas shook his head. "I appreciate it, Mr. Quinn, but I'm not going anywhere. Not until I see her and know she's okay."

"Please call me George. Mr. Quinn sounds too... official."

"Sure."

"You must care for her a great deal," he said.

Lucas nodded. "I do, sir. I do."

"Well, you have a long road ahead of you if you think this is a relationship you want to stick with. I would suggest you be as honest with yourself as possible, as soon as possible. The longer you're with her, the more it will hurt her when you leave."

Lucas knew her father was just trying to protect his daughter. However, he also knew that he wasn't just some guy in her life. "With all due respect, sir, I've thought and prayed about this a lot." He stood up. "And I'm not going anywhere. Since I'm going to be sticking around, I would appreciate if you wouldn't exclude me, because I need to learn what to do for her. I'm going to go get some coffee. Can I get you one?"

George looked up at Lucas. "Sure. Black, please."

A tight nod and off he went to find the closest coffee station.

The two men sat together sharing small talk. Football was an easy topic to keep their minds occupied. A few hours later, a nurse came to get George. It was obvious she knew him from the familiarity in their conversation.

"You can come back and see her now, George."

George stood. "Lucas will be coming with me."

"Family only."

George lied. "He is family."

Lucas was pleasantly surprised.

The nurse knew it wasn't true but gave George a wink. "All right then, let's go see her."

As they walked through the hallways, the nurse updated them. "We had to strap her down. I know how much you hate that, but Dr. Guiley didn't want to fully sedate her since she was mostly lucid. She was in a real panic for a little while, but she's calmed down now. We should be able to take the restraints off soon."

They made their way down another hallway and soon were at a station with high security. Lucas looked at the sign. "Psychiatric Unit". Oh, shit. What have I gotten myself into? I was not prepared for this.

They were buzzed in and the door slammed loudly behind them.

When they arrived at Faith's room, George peeked in the small window and then put his hand on Lucas's chest to hold him back from seeing. "Why don't you stay here just for a moment, Lucas. I don't think my daughter will ever forgive me if I let you walk in there without giving her notice."

Lucas nodded and then stood against the wall outside the door.

The door closed behind George, leaving Lucas in the hallway alone with his heart pounding.

How rude would it be to run away right now? he thought. I mean, they strapped her down for God's sake. She must have been behaving like a complete lunatic. I've never seen her like that, and I really don't want to. He closed his eyes. God, please help me. The shallow man in me wants to forget about this whole thing. It's scary. Who am I kidding? It's terrifying! Deep inside I know I care about this woman, but right now, I want to run. Keep me here. Please.

Just then, the door opened and the nurse invited Lucas in.

Faith was in a hospital gown, sitting on the bed with her arms wrapped around her knees, head tucked down. The restraints on the side of the bed were unforgettable. Luckily, they weren't on her. He assumed her father had insisted they remove them before he came in.

"Faith... Lucas is here to see you."

Faith lifted her head slowly. Her eyes were glazed over but she looked in his direction. She spoke softly with a small smile, "Fun date, huh?"

In a flash, memories of every sweet look she had ever given him, every laugh she had forced out of him, every sexually frustrating feeling she had stirred disintegrated his selfishness and ignorance.

A gentle smile breached his panic as he stepped her way. "Always an adventure with you, my dear."

She laughed.

Sitting on the bed next to her, he turned his body towards her slightly. She reached her hand out to him and he immediately kissed her fingers. She laid her head sideway on her knees while looking at him.

"You're even beautiful in a hospital gown." A wink lightened the mood considerably.

A look of disbelief was followed with one of appreciation.

Sliding his fingers in between hers, they both watched their hands combine.

She looked over at her mother. "It's coming back."

"Okay, dear. Lucas, you should probably go."

George spoke up as Faith leaned into Lucas, "No, he can stay." He looked at Lucas. "Put your arms around her and don't let go. Hold her tight."

Her mother protested but George quieted her quickly.

Lucas did exactly as he was told. He wrapped his arms tight around her as she began to shake and moan.

George spoke, "Don't let her go. If she gets loose they'll strap her down again."

Lucas was determined not to let that happen, so he held her with all he had.

Soon, the fighting stopped and her painful cries turned to soft whimpers. Her body went limp in his arms, so he held tightly for a different reason.

"You can lay her back now if you want," George said.

No way, he thought. I'm keeping her right where she is, where she belongs. In my arms. God made these arms just for her.

He kissed the top of her head. "Why does this happen? Is something wrong or is it just normal for her?"

Her mother spoke, "No, not really normal but not necessarily abnormal. Chances are she was late on a medication or forgot to take one. It could be a sign of relapse, but I don't think that's what's happening since she isn't hearing any voices. I think she just messed up on her meds."

Lucas felt Faith gaining her strength back. Her arms found him with a slight squeeze. He loved the way it felt to be there for her like this, even though he hated that she was going through it.

It happened several more times, but he was able to keep her in his arms and out of the restraints. Finally, she fell into a deep sleep. He laid her back gently, and her mother pulled the covers up to keep her warm as a nurse requested they all leave for a little while.

They went back to the waiting room where Faith's mother had plenty to say to Lucas.

"We appreciate all you've done for her today, but you should probably just head home. There isn't much more to do but wait."

Lucas shook his head. "Thank you for your concern, but I'm staying."

An untrusting glare. "Why? Why would you do that? What's your angle? Do you really think the two of you have some sort of future together? Because if you do, let me just set you straight. The day will come--it will--when you won't want to or be able to handle her anymore. Then what will you do? You'll break her heart and she'll be far worse off than when you met her. I suggest you just cut your losses now and move on. She's my daughter and I love her, and I can't bear to see her hurt."

Lucas pulled his extreme patience forward and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Mrs. Quinn. I know you love your daughter, there's no doubt about that, but maybe in trying to protect her heart you're actually hurting her more. I know you don't know me well, but your daughter does. If she's willing to give me a chance, then why shouldn't you at least try, for her sake? I'm not going to hurt her."

"I'm sure you wouldn't mean to, but it will happen. Mark my words."

Lucas shook his head. "You're wrong, and I'm sorry you have such little confidence in me. But mostly I'm sorry you have such little confidence in your daughter and her ability to have a normal life. She isn't broken, she just has some troubles. We all have troubles. I'm gonna go take a walk to clear my mind, but I'll be back. I'm not leaving until I know she's okay."

He walked the halls for a while till he ran across the hospital chapel. He sat down in the dark, quiet room, staring at the cross. Tears filled his eyes as he thought about the sweet girl he'd been spending so much time with and how this disorder ravaged her brain. It felt so unfair. He knew from his research that each time she experienced an episode like this, the more likely she was to have a full relapse, and a full relapse could very well be the end of who she currently was.

He bowed his head and made a plea for God to bring her out quickly and painlessly.

I'm begging You God... entrust her to me. I promise I will do my best to care for her, if given the chance.

The three of them were back in Faith's hospital room when she woke up. Her father was sitting across the room, allowing Lucas to take a front seat, while her mother seemed to want him to leave. Lucas didn't care though, he was staying. No matter what.

He stood next to the bed, looking down at her when she opened her eyes. He knew she wouldn't remember much, so he was ready.

"Hi there, beautiful," he said and took her hand in his. "You're back."

She blinked and tried to sit up, but dizziness overcame her, so he helped her lay back down slowly.

"Where am I?"

"We're at Kindred Hospital."

She gave him a blank look.

"I'm Lucas, we're dating."

She laughed. "I must be dreaming, but I don't mind if it means I get to date someone who looks like you. You're gorgeous!"

"You're not dreaming, sweetie."

Her smile faded slightly. Then she looked around the room and saw her mother. "I know you very well, but I'm not sure why."

Her mom smiled. "That's okay, sweetie. You'll remember soon. Just give it time."

Faith looked back at Lucas with a wide grin. "Are you sure? I'm dating you?"

He laughed. "Yes, I'm sure. I am very sure."

"If you're sure, then kiss me."

He laughed loudly. "Of course, I never pass up an opportunity to kiss those lips." He leaned down and kissed her lips a few times.

Her expression was fairly serious as she looked up at him. "You smell really good."

"Thank you."

She closed her eyes briefly, putting her hands up to her head. Pain returned.

"Are you okay, Faith?"

She rolled to her side away from him and started to cry.

He looked over at her mother. "What's going on? I thought she was coming out of it."

Her mother shrugged. "So did I." She came up next to Faith and said, "Faith, honey, what's happening?"

Faith didn't answer, she just continued to cry.

Her mom put her hand on Faith's side, and Faith screamed, "Don't touch me!"

Her mother retracted her hand.

Faith cried on her side and spoke quietly, "Lucas."

"I'm right here, sweetie."

She rolled over, reaching out to him. He stepped up to the edge of the bed and helped her sit up. She clung to him and cried. Her grip was so tight that he found it hard to breathe.

"Don't leave me, please, don't leave me."

He hugged her tightly, feeling her chest firmly against his. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Just relax."

Then she began to ramble unintelligibly, but he knew she was trying to say something to him; something she found important.

He pushed her away so he could put his hands on the sides of her face. He made her look into his eyes as he hushed her sweetly. It took her a moment to stop ranting but she finally did as her eyes met his.

"Take a deep breath."

She inhaled, then exhaled.

"Now slow your thoughts down and speak slowly. Tell me what you're trying to say."

She stared into his eyes for a few moments. "I... I need some... water... please."

Lucas smiled at her. "That's good, Faith. Perfect. I will get you some water."

She tried to say something else, but he couldn't understand her at all.

"Shhh... breathe." He spoke calmly, still holding her face. "Slow down. Think slowly so I can understand."

She stopped and paused. "Don't... don't leave me. No water."

"You don't want me to get your water?"

"No. You... stay please."

"Do you still want some water?" he asked.

She nodded and started to cry again. "Yes. Water, please."

Her mother spoke quietly to Lucas, "I'll go get her some."

He released Faith's face, placing her forehead into the crook of his neck. Holding her, he encouraged her to relax in a calm, smooth, tender voice.

Her mother returned with water and tried to give it to Faith, but she became agitated, not wanting to have anything to do with anyone but Lucas. Lucas could tell 'Mom' was not pleased, but he wasn't going to upset Faith just to make her mother happy.

He held the water as she sucked it through a straw, drinking nearly the whole thing. Immediately, shivers coursed through her body, so he did his best to warm her.

Afterwards, he could tell she was getting sleepy, but she refused to lie down, not wanting to let go of Lucas even though he promised he wasn't going to leave. She rested her head on his chest and fell asleep. He lay her down and pulled the blankets over her. He looked at her parents, and they all stepped quietly outside.

Out in the waiting room, Lucas could tell that Faith's mother was extremely upset.

"She sure is attached to you," she said, seemingly offended.

Lucas felt like he needed to apologize but didn't really want to. "We spend a lot of time together, Mrs. Quinn, so I suppose that's natural."

George spoke up, "I think it's a good thing. You didn't want to spend the rest of your life being the only one to care for her, did you? I mean, if it happened that way, what would she do when we're gone, dear? She deserves to have her own life. She deserves to have a chance at normal."

"You're not helping, George!" she snapped. "She isn't normal and she never will be!"

"Normal is a sliding scale, ma'am." Lucas sat down in the waiting room, needing to get off his feet for a little while.

George sat next to him. "Very true."

Faith's mom crossed her arms over her chest and frowned down at the two men.

Lucas looked at George. "I see where Faith gets it from."

George laughed. "I know, right?"

Mrs. Quinn didn't find it amusing at all and her face showed it.

"Sit down, dear," George said. "Just chill. I know you don't like sharing her need for you, but that's the reality of the situation now. You need to try and accept it."

"But how do I know this guy is going to stick around, George? He's just going to leave her and then we're going to have to pick up the pieces."

Lucas raised his hand. "I'm sitting right here! I can hear you."

George smirked. "Sit down and hush up. That's enough, woman!"

She huffed and then sat down next to George.

All was quiet for a time. Eventually, Lucas decided to try and sooth Mrs. Quinn's mind a little. "I'm sorry you don't like me, and I'm sorry you feel threatened by my relationship with your daughter. But I'm not going to step away from someone I really care about just to appease her mother. If I were going to quit on her, don't you think I would have done it already?"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't know. I don't know what you've seen or been through with her already. This might be the first experience you've had and you might go home and think it over and decide it's too much for you. How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"I think that's a great point," Lucas replied. "You don't know, so please don't assume the worst. I'm well aware of her condition. I've experienced enough with her at this point that if I were the type of guy to run, I would have." He leaned forward and looked over at Faith's mom.

George spoke, "Did you see him in there? The way he got her to calm down and speak clearly? No one has been able to do that. No one. Not even you!"

She huffed again. "Yes, I saw. It was... amazing. I didn't even know it was possible to get her to make sense when she was like that."

Lucas sat back in his chair.

It may have been amazing, he thought, but this is a lot to take in. Maybe I do need to rethink this. Maybe George is right and I need to get very honest with myself very quick. Her mother might just make me crazy, and her dad... he seems to be okay but they are wearing me out. How long will I be stuck here? Days? Weeks? Lord, help me! His head went to his hands as he stared blankly at the floor.

He was jarred from his thoughts by a buzz from his cell phone. When he saw who it was, he was baffled by his immediate reaction: Saved by the buzz.

After taking the call, he stood up. "I'm sorry, but I need to leave."

Mrs. Quinn got her dig in. "So you are leaving her after all. I knew you would."

"Quiet, woman!" George scolded. "You do what you have to do, Lucas. We'll take care of things here."

"Thank you, George. I'll be in touch soon." Lucas shook hands with George, then looked over at Faith's mother and nodded. "Bye, Mrs. Quinn."

She glared at him but didn't speak.

SUNDAY, DAY 24

FAITH'S PARENTS DROVE her home when she was released. They didn't speak at all of the giant woolly mammoth parked on her lap... Lucas's absence. Some things were best left unsaid. Wanting to be alone, she convinced them she was fine and they could leave. All she wanted to do was sleep. She neglected to tell them of all the crying she was planning to suffer through.

After a shower, she put some comfortable clothes on her aching body and crawled into bed. As comfortable as her own bed was after being in that hospital, nothing was going to make her feel comforted, not for a while.

The prior evening was a blur. Not sure exactly how everything happened, the one thing she did know was Lucas saw it all. Nope, it was no surprise to hear he left. She guessed the hospital wouldn't be the only thing he would be leaving soon. Trying to mentally prepare herself for his exit from her life was difficult. She cared for him a lot... she even relied on him. Their daily interactions and the way they laughed together made her feel alive. A deep sadness grew within her, one she wasn't sure she would ever fully get over. It was official, she felt something for him she had never felt before in her life. Love. She was thoroughly in love with Lucas and now she would need to learn how to live without him.

Her phone buzzed at 10:00 a.m. Shock washed over her to see it was him.

L: Are you still at the hospital?

F: No, I'm home

L: Sorry I left

F: It's okay - it was my fault, I missed a pill sometime in the last week

There was a pause.

F: Sorry I made you miss the game

Another pause almost made her cry.

L: How are you feeling?

He doesn't really care. He's just saying what he thinks he's supposed to.

F: Tired. Drained. Sore.

L: I'm sorry

Another long pause.

L: I think we need to talk

And there it was. The talk. Her heart hammered in her chest as she responded.

F: You can just tell me whatever it is now

L: No, I think it would be best in person

Great. He wants to be a gentleman even when he breaks my heart.

F: Okay. When?

L: Depends on when you're feeling up to seeing me

She just wanted to get it over with.

F: I'm fine. Come whenever you want

L: Okay, about an hour?

Apparently, he wanted to get it over with too.

F: See you then

She put her phone down with a sigh. It had been fun while it lasted. Plopping herself back into bed and staring at the ceiling, tears filled her eyes. She rolled over on her side, curled up into a ball, and proceeded to cry like an infant who could not be comforted. He was going to be missed terribly.

His knock at the door came right when she expected it. She tried her best to smile, but it was arduous. He looked nervous. No hug. No kiss. That's when she knew it for sure; this was the goodbye talk.

She invited him to sit on the couch, and then she plopped down next to him with a sigh. "So, what's up?" she asked.

"You doing okay?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Nothing I haven't been through before. Nothing I won't go through again." She smiled at him. "Sorry I ruined our night." What she really wanted to say was 'Sorry I ruined our life', but that didn't seem appropriate.

"No. No apology needed. I'm sorry I had to leave. I--"

She interrupted him, "Look, I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to say so just go ahead."

"Okay." He scooted over to her slowly and put his hand on her gently and kissed the side of her face as he closed his eyes. "I wish things could be different."

Her body ached so bad, his simple touch was excruciating, but she didn't care. She closed her eyes, bracing herself for a broken heart. This was going to hurt bad, especially because he was being so sweet. Gentle and caring. Tears collected in her eyes as she thought about just how much she was going to miss him.

He leaned his head against hers, eyes still closed. "I've been thinking a lot. In fact, I haven't been able to stop thinking... All these feelings and thoughts rolled through my head." He paused and took a deep breath. "Just seeing you struggle like that, it was so... troublesome."

She nodded, eyes still closed. "I know."

He lifted his head and opened his eyes. Hand to her chin, he turned her face towards him. As he did so, she opened her eyes and a tear slowly dropped down her cheek.

His thumb wiped it away gently. "Seeing you like that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. And it made me realize--"

"It's okay," she said, trying to save him from having to explain it aloud. "You don't have to say it." She closed her eyes again as another tear escaped.

"No, I do have to say it. I can't go another day without saying it. Look at me, please."

She opened her eyes.

"Seeing you like that, it made me realize that I am totally, completely in love with you. And it hurts me that things can't be different for you. I want so bad to take it away for you, to make you better. But I can't and it hurts my heart."

Her eyes were right there with his as his words began to process through her mind. She squinted. "Wait a minute... What?" She wiped her right cheek with her palm. "You mean... you're not here to tell me you don't want to see me anymore? To tell me you can't handle this thing between us?"

He looked surprised, dropping his hands to his lap. "No. Is that what you thought I was going to say?"

She wiped her other cheek with her hand. "Ah... yeah. I kinda did."

"So, you thought when I left the hospital... I really left?"

She nodded as a few more tears dropped down her cheeks.

His forehead creased. "Oh, you poor thing. You thought I was going to break your heart." He wrapped his arm around her neck and pulled her to him. "Come here, you silly, beautiful girl."

The relief flowing through her made her all the more emotional. Tears started streaming for a different reason now. Did he just say he was in love with me? Did he just change everything for the better instead of the worst?

He tightened his hold on her. "I didn't come here to break up with you. I came here to tell you I'm in love with you."

She wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed him as she cried. Her heart felt completely full, as though it might burst from all the emotion it felt. "Oh, Lucas, I love you too."

He kissed the top of her head. "Then it's settled."

She lifted her head up slowly to look in his eyes.

"We are in love. And you're not getting rid of me." He wiped her tears and then kissed her lips lightly.

A stronger kiss ambushed her heart. His lips were incredible and his tongue, insatiable. Several passionate kisses later, their lips separated and she nestled into the crook of his neck again. "Why did you leave?"

He stroked her arm. "I forgot that I had a date."

Shock came over her.

"Kidding."

He's gonna pay for that one. She slapped him on the shoulder. "Trying to make me cry again?"

He flinched. "Oh, goodness, no! As far as I'm concerned, you should never, ever cry again."

"Ha, fat chance. I cry over everything."

He kissed her again. "My boss called. There was a major problem at work, so I had to go take care of it." He leaned his forehead to hers. "I didn't want to leave you... but I had to. Although, your parents were driving me a little crazy. Your mom doesn't like me at all. I think she's jealous that I want to take care of you."

She frowned.

"I can handle it though, for you."

A smile returned.

"Oh, I almost forgot... I brought you a present." He got up to retrieve a small, long package from his coat pocket, then returned to her promptly. "Again, don't get too excited."

"Another present for you disguised as one for me?" she asked.

He smiled. "Ultimately, yes. And it's practical. I don't think girls usually like practical gifts very much."

She ripped the paper to see a daily pillbox.

"I figured it was time for an update. Just taking your pills out of the bottle each day seems to be a problem waiting to happen."

She squinted. "How is this a present for you?"

"I want us to spend our days and evenings together doing things we want to do, not hanging out in the hospital with your overprotective, Lucas-hating mom. Promise me you'll use it."

She wailed. "I promise. This is really sweet. Thank you."

He kissed her hair. "You mean everything to me, so you've got to take care of yourself."

"I will," she replied. "I will."

MONDAY, DAY 25

SHE TOOK MONDAY off work to recuperate a bit more even though she had rested nearly all day with him Sunday. She got bored early in the day and went to her desk to go ahead and do some work. A text came in from Lucas right when she was getting ready to start.

L: I hope you are resting

F: I am busted, was getting ready to do some work

L: Do I need to come over there and hold you down

F: Yes please ;)

L: I didn't mean it like that... but now that I'm thinking about it...

F: Too bad you have to work

L: No kidding. How are you feeling today?

F: Pain is gone, but tired. Kinda bored

L: You should rest, go get in bed and dream about me

F: Can I invite myself to your place tonight

L: Only if you let me pick you up, don't want you driving late tonight

F: I'm not an invalid

L: I know, but I want to take care of my woman

F: Can I ask you... was it bad? The other night? I don't remember much

L: It wasn't bad

F: Did I say anything crazy?

L: Not really, although you did say something odd yesterday

She didn't remember anything strange from the prior day, so her heart began pounding in her chest.

F: What?

L: You said... YOU LOVE ME

She sneered as she read it.

F: Ha ha... That is odd!

L: I didn't mind

F: You might have said something odd too

L: There was nothing odd about what I said... I LOVE YOU

F: Well, I love you too... so there

Her heart fluttered in her chest as she thought about her feelings for him... and his feelings for her. Love. I'm in love for the first time in my life.

L: As much as I like talking about this, I need to go. Now go rest

F: Yes, sir

L: I will pick you up on my way home from work

F: Thank you xoxo

L: xoxo

They sat on the couch eating dinner and relaxing. He took care of everything, not letting her lift a finger. Her job was to sit, be calm, and unwind.

They were watching his favorite movie, Caddyshack, when she decided it was time to give him a surprise. "You have given me two presents now, so it's my turn to give you something," she said happily.

"You were supposed to be resting today, not shopping," he scolded as he took the wrapped rectangle box from her.

She laughed. "Now don't get too excited."

He gave her a skeptical look and then ripped open the paper and burst out laughing. "You see, this is one of the reasons I love you. You make me laugh!" He tore the rest of the paper off the large box of dark chocolates. "I know you love dark chocolate, and I assume these are your favorite?"

She nodded her head as she bit her lip.

He handed the box out to her. "Enjoy them, my dear."

"For me?" she asked playfully.

He wrapped his arms around her laughing. "I can't wait until my truck needs new tires."

She hugged him in return. "Oh, tires, I love new tires."

He looked into her eyes.

"Sorry. I couldn't resist," she said. She reached into her purse taking out a little box. She put it in the palm of her hand. "Here is your real gift."

He looked at it, then at her. "What's this?"

"Just a little something for this really great guy I know."

His dimple appeared and she swooned. Shocked to find a very simple silver cross necklace in the box, his face beamed.

"I'm not sure if you're a necklace kinda guy, so if you aren't, I can get you something else... but there's a reason I picked it."

"No, I love it."

She took it in her hands and then placed it around his neck. "Now don't get too excited."

He gave her a funny look, knowing exactly what that phrase meant. "How is this cross necklace a gift for you, especially since you already put it on me?"

She smiled, seeing the cross lay exactly where she hoped it would on his neck. "Perfect," she said. "You know how I was going in and out of consciousness the other night when you were holding me on the bed?"

"Yeah."

"I'm actually very much awake through that, but only on the inside."

"Yes, you told me that before."

"Yeah, well, if I want to be able to come out again I have to choose something to focus on so I can fight to break out. That night, when you were holding me on the hospital bed and I had to choose something to focus on. It was easy because every time I opened my eyes, I was looking right at you. Right here." She pointed to the center of his collarbone, right where the cross was now hanging. "Just knowing it was you was enough, but I thought..."

"I get it," he replied. "Throw a little Jesus in there and it's all the better."

She smiled. "Yes, exactly."

"I guess this means you didn't mind me being there."

"I was really afraid for you to see me like that, but having you there, the way you were holding me and looking at me, it was perfect. I wouldn't want anyone else near me. You made it so much more... doable. Thank you from the bottom of my heart." She looked at the cross around his neck. "Damn, it looks hot on you. Is that wrong?"

"Nah, everything looks hot on me."

She knew he was kidding, but he was right, everything did look hot on him.

"I love it. Thank you, Faith," he said, kissing her hand. "Wish I had something special to give you."

She tilted her head. "You already gave me the best gift you ever could."

"The raisins or the pill box?" he asked snidely.

"You gave me you. You didn't run away, you stayed. No one else has ever even given me a chance. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart." Her heart swelled with love for him as her eyes watered.

He pulled her into him slowly for a hug. "I want to be the one holding you when you're in need, and you don't have to be afraid. I'm not going anywhere." He kissed the top of her head.

TUESDAY, DAY 26

FAITH RECEIVED A nasty email from one of her clients asking why she hadn't answered her messages the day before. It started her day off all wrong, and breaking free from that mood when it hit her hard was nearly impossible. She decided to warn Lucas instead of having him accidentally stumble into it, since he had never experienced her like this before.

F: Fair warning - Faith is in a bad mood ;) Don't say I didn't warn you

L: What happened, my dear?

F: People happened - nasty client email

L: I'm sorry :( Want me to beat him up?

F: You don't have to try to fix my problems

L: Wasn't trying to fix it, just trying to make you laugh

F: Sorry, I'm snippy

L: I see that

F: You probably want to stay away from me today

L: Nah, I can handle you - the good, the bad, and the ugly

F: You're sweet

L: So are you... most of the time ;)

F: Definitely not right now

L: I'm sorry your day started out sucky, maybe it will get better

F: Maybe. I'll let you go

L: Bye, baby

F: Bye

She felt better after their exchange, but it wasn't long before her mood was worsened by another client who hadn't paid their bill in three months but expected her to drop everything to do something right away. She was able to be professional, but on the inside, she was burning with anger.

A little while later, there was a knock at her front door. She ignored it. The knock came again. Annoyed, she tore herself away from her work and went to find out who was bothering her. She opened the door to see a very large flower arrangement held by a delivery guy.

Lucas was trying to improve her day. She took the flowers and then realized the delivery guy was someone she had gone to high school with. Great.

"Faith Quinn. Wow. When I saw the name I wondered if that was you, but then I thought... who would be crazy enough to send that crazy girl flowers. Probably your parents, right?"

She glared at the guy. "Asshole," she muttered then slammed the door in his face. She was livid at that point. She put the flowers on the dining room table without even opening the card and grabbed her phone to text Lucas.

F: Next time you send me flowers make sure the delivery guy isn't a complete jerk

He quickly texted back.

L: What happened? What did he say?

F: Forget it, not important

L: Yes it is, what did he say?

F: Don't you dare call and yell at them

L: WHAT DID HE SAY

She didn't want to tell him so she didn't answer back. Within a few minutes, her phone rang and it was Lucas. She picked it up with a very snippy tone. "I don't want you to do anything, okay?"

Turned out she wasn't the only one irritated at this point. "Faith, tell me what he said."

"You do NOT have to fight my battles for me! I did fine fighting them on my own before I ever even knew you existed."

The phone was quiet for a moment. Finally, he spoke lightly, "Nice. Stubborn Faith really is a charmer, isn't she?"

"Stop it, I don't want to laugh. I want to be mad. Just let me be mad," she replied, trying her hardest not to break from her internal need to lash out.

"Tell me what he said and you can go on with your day and be as mad as you want to be. Heck, you can even be mad at me if you want to."

She took a deep breath and lowered her voice. "Why do you care what he said?"

"Why don't you want to tell me?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm fine."

"You are not fine. You're upset, legitimately upset. Why should that be okay? What did he say?"

She was quiet for a moment.

"Faith, if you want to be in a relationship with me then we need to be partners. I won't sit on the sidelines when things like this happen. It's just the way I am. Now, what did he say?"

As she thought about actually telling him the words, her eyes closed tightly and tears built up. "I don't want to tell you. It's embarrassing."

"Sweetie, you're having a bad day. I know you, and I know that whatever it was wouldn't have normally bothered you if you weren't already having a bad day. I sent you those flowers to make your day better, not worse. And now you're crying. Who was it and what did he say?"

She paused and then quietly told him. "John Tiedall. He asked me who was crazy enough to send a crazy girl flowers."

The phone fell silent again.

"You don't have to do anything. I'll get over it. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Finally, he spoke, "You wouldn't think I was a very nice guy right now if you knew what was going through my mind. I need to let you go. I have a phone call to make."

"Lucas, please don't make a big deal out of--"

He interrupted her, "You need to trust me. I will make the right sized deal of it. I love you but I need to go. I will talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay," she replied quietly. He said goodbye and was gone.

She slumped in her chair, putting the phone down on her desk. Why do people have to be so... mean? Deep inside, she was glad to be with the kind of guy who would not let something like this go. She felt safe and protected.

Turning to the flowers, she realized the card was unopened. Retrieving it slowly, she read it: 'You totally make me want to eat raisins! Hope your day gets better, I love you!'

He was so sweet. God only knew what he was in the middle of saying to the owner of the flower shop right at that moment.

F: Thank you for the flowers and thank you for being you. I love you!

An answer didn't come right away. She imagined he was a little busy right at that moment, but soon her phone buzzed to let her know he responded.

L: You are my everything, Faith. Everything. Even when you're grumpy :)

After reading that, her day felt perfect.

THURSDAY, DAY 28

SHE HAD KNOWN about it for the last two weeks but that didn't make it any easier to deal with. Lucas was attending a bachelor party that evening, and Faith wasn't a fan of the types of things that happened at bachelor parties at all. Being honest with him about how she felt from the start was great, but she understood, just because she didn't like it, didn't mean he should change his plans.

She woke up with dread, knowing this was the night. The day dragged on as she tortured herself over it almost every moment.

Naked boobs rubbing up against him. He'll like it. Of course he'll like it, he's a man. It'll get him excited. Oh, it makes me so... ugh! A naked stripper is going to make him hard. She'll probably be pretty too, and she'll no doubt think he's cute. She'll whisper in his ear while straddling his lap. She'll slip him her phone number or address and then he'll slip her something... He'll remember how much he likes sex and then I'll be history. Ahhhh. Stop it! I have to stop it.

He stopped by to see her on his way home from work and brought her a bundle of flowers as a peace offering. She smiled as he handed them to her. "Flowers. Twice in one week, aren't I lucky? You don't have to butter me up, I'm not mad at you. I'm not happy about what you're doing tonight, but I'm not mad at you."

"I know," he replied. "I just wanted to do something nice for you since..."

"Since naked girls will be rubbing themselves all over you tonight? Yes, the flowers almost make up for that, thank you."

He smiled at her sarcasm.

She went to the couch and flopped down as she sniffed the flowers.

He followed but instead of sitting, he knelt in front of her. He took the flowers, placing them on the coffee table, and then moved himself between her legs. Hands on her hips, he pulled her towards him. "You do not have to worry."

He was so strong, he could do whatever he wanted with her body at any time and she knew it. It was a complete turn-on, but being in a funk kept it from stirring her loins. "I'm not worried in the sense that I think you would do something stupid like have sex with a stripper. But I'm also not stupid enough to think that half-naked girls who like to turn men on for money are going to completely leave a guy like you alone at a bachelor party. Furthermore, I'm not delusional enough to think you want them to leave you alone, especially since you and I don't... you know, get it on. I'm crazy, but I'm not that crazy."

"I hate it when you say that about yourself. You are not crazy."

She rolled her eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me," he said with a grin.

She pouted, looking into his eyes.

"Oh, you're killing me with those beautiful eyes and sad face."

She smiled a little. "I don't really want you to go, but I don't want you to not go because of me either... So go. Have a good time and don't worry about me."

"Can I have a kiss?"

She nodded with a smile and leaned into his lips.

He opened his mouth and kissed her deeply. Okay, loins stirred. He made a quiet sigh as they kissed and she knew he was feeling exactly what she was feeling.

She ended their kiss abruptly and leaned her head into his. "It wouldn't be smart of me to send you there all worked up, so cut it out!"

"You do not need to worry, not even a little. Okay?"

She rolled her eyes again. "I'm just at a huge disadvantage here and it's tough."

"Why do you say that?"

"Oh, you know that thing you don't like me to say about myself. The 'C' word. You are this totally gorgeous man and it would be easy for you to find someone to spend your time with that isn't... that 'C' word."

He looked at her as though she were ridiculous. "Do you seriously think I would dump you so I could date a stripper?"

"No, I guess not."

"Good. Just FYI, strippers don't do it for me. Not the way you do. Yes, men love naked women, I'm not even gonna try to lie about that. But that's lust and it doesn't hold a candle to what I feel for you."

She didn't want to talk about it anymore. She closed her eyes briefly and shook her head. "Just go and have a good time. Don't even think about me... please."

"Would you like me to come here afterwards instead of going home? Would that make you feel better?"

She made a horrible face. "Gosh, no... Go home and take a long, hot, antibacterial shower. I don't want to see you or hear from you until tomorrow. Trust me; I'll be mad if I do. And I don't want to be mad at you."

He laughed. "Okay, I don't want you mad at me either. Text me if you need me."

"No way, mister. I'm on my own tonight. I wouldn't text you even if I was in cardiac arrest."

He glared at her. "Faith... Promise me you'll text me if you need me. I'm serious."

"I'm serious, too. I don't want to be that girlfriend who calls you away from your buddies. Not gonna happen. If I need anything, I'll call my mom." She grinned. "And I'll be sure to tell her you aren't around because you're at the strip club. She'll love that!"

"Not funny!"

"A little funny," she retorted.

He sighed. He placed both his hands on the side of her face and looked into her eyes. "I'm going to make you three promises right now, so listen well." He dropped his hands and took both her hands in his. "First, I promise you I will behave myself tonight. Second, I promise I'll politely decline any future invitations to the strip club."

She pressed her lips together wondering what the last promise was going to be.

"I promise, when we get married I will not have a bachelor party, at least not one like this. Okay?" His eyes were completely sincere.

She thought about his last promise... He hadn't said 'If we get married.' No, he'd said 'When we get married.' "You've thought about that?" she asked with a big smile on her face.

"Getting married to you? Yes, of course. Haven't you?"

She made a face that let him know she hadn't.

"Then what the heck do you think we're doing here?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I know you want kids, and I guess I just figured we would stay together until... I don't know."

"Until I met someone else?" he asked, slightly offended.

"Yeah," she answered, feeling bad for offending him. "I'm sorry."

"Okay, well, let me set the record straight once and for all. I don't want anyone else, I want you. I'm not going to ditch you because I want to have kids or for any other reason. I'm dating you because I see a future with you. If you don't see a future with me, then... I guess I need to know that... like, yesterday."

She quickly leaned into him and kissed his lips. Her heart melted as she realized for the first time just how serious he was about her.

"So? Are you going to break my heart, Quinn?" he asked anxiously.

"No. My future just got a lot brighter," she replied with a smile.

"Excellent." He pulled her lips to his and started kissing her again. This time there was no stopping their groping when it became passionate. Lucas pulled her body as close to him as he could, pressing his chest against hers. She wrapped her legs around him tightly, feeling his excitement for her. Oh, how she wished he would stay, but it wasn't an option. He had plans, horrible as they may be; he needed to go.

She made herself push him away. "I told you it was a bad idea for me to get you all worked up and then send you into a strip club, so cut it out."

He put his hands under her rear and lifted her quickly and then lay her on the couch, placing himself on top of her. "Shush," he said then dove into another kiss.

His body pressed into her. Her fingers sank into his hairline and gripped his locks.

Both their eyes opened at the same time. "Oh, Faith, you make me crazy. The things I want to do to you."

Oh, the things I want you to do to me, Lucas.

His hand went to her rear, giving him more control over their grinding. "I'm going to marry you, and then... holy hell, you're not going to get out of bed for a month."

She giggled as their kisses continued. He wants to marry me. She became consumed in that moment, wanting to keep him there, wanting to solidify what they had. "I want you, Lucas. I want you now. I don't want to wait."

He ignited, ravenously kissing her. His phone reminder alert started to go off. He broke away from her for a moment to retrieve his phone then turned the alarm off and tossed it to the floor, diving right back into a kiss.

"Stay with me. Stay and make love to me... all night."

His eyes opened and their kissing slowed as he touched her cheek. "Is that what you really want?"

She nodded with serious eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Passionate kisses resumed and his grip went back to her rear, this time with both hands. He was rubbing her in just the right spot. A tingle began to run through her body and she let out a noise indicating her pleasure. The feeling built as he continued to beat rhythmically into her fully clothed body.

She was starting to lose control. "We've got to stop, Lucas."

"I want you so bad, Faith."

Another reminder went off. She stopped their kissing then looked at him. "You better go. I don't want you to be late."

He hung his head. "Are you kicking me out?"

"Yes... I don't want your friends thinking your girlfriend has you completely whipped."

"Oh, but you do!" he replied with a laugh.

She pushed him playfully. "No, I don't."

"You have no idea how whipped I am." He kissed her lips once and looked at her seriously. "I love you."

"I love you too. Now go get hammered and gawk at naked women. Just be sure you remember my name."

He got up and held his hand out to her to help her up too. She retrieved his coat, holding it out with a look of disgust. "Seriously, antibacterial soap. Got it?"

"I got it," he said, giving her one final kiss.

He texted her at ten o'clock.

L: Take your meds, my lady

F: I told you not to message me. Might make me mad :)

L: Couldn't stop myself

F: How horny are you now?

L: VERY - but it's all for you, my sweet

F: That's so romantic

L: Isn't it?

F: Go. Don't be that guy texting his girlfriend ;)

L: Love you

F: yeah, yeah - see you tomorrow

She took her meds and went to bed. Surprisingly, her thoughts weren't obsessing over where he was and who was rubbing against him. Instead, she was thinking about him... and marriage. She'd never thought it was a possibility for her, but maybe it was. Only time would tell.

FRIDAY, DAY 29

L: Mad at me?

F: No, but I should be

L: :) But I'm so cute

F: It's your saving grace, my dear

L: Well... you might be mad at me after I tell you this...

F: You better not have kissed a stripper... I'm telling you!!!!

She was only half kidding.

L: No, it's worse than that

Her heart sank. Had he done something unthinkable with a stripper?

L: My mother will be in town tomorrow and she wants to meet you

F: LUCAS! You scared the crap out of me!!! Not funny!!!

L: I'm sorry :( But aren't you glad I didn't kiss a stripper????

F: Gross. You had better not have

L: I didn't, I swear

F: Does she really want to meet me or are you making that up?

L: Who, the stripper?

F: LUCAS!

L: LOL - Yes, she said she wants to meet you

F: Is there any way out of it for me?

L: You could dump me until Sunday

F: That's it, we're through! I never want to see you again... (until Sunday)

L: :(

F: Fine. I'll meet her

L: You're the best

F: You suck

L: But I'm cute

F: Again, it's your saving grace, Mr. Stripper Lover

L: How long will I be hearing about the strippers?

F: weeks... months... years... not sure yet

L: Will it cut my sentence down if I told you I took a lot of heat from the guys because I refused a lap dance that was paid for?

F: NO!!! It just got longer... decades

L: Why?

F: Because you just typed the words 'lap dance' in a message to me, not cool

L: I guess I should shut up and go buy you some dark chocolate

F: You think?

L: Will you come over tonight? I'll make you dinner and we can sit by the fire

F: Did you use antibacterial soap?

L: Ha Ha Please?

F: I guess so... if I have to

L: You are mad at me, aren't you?

F: Maybe a little, but I still love you

L: I love you too. I'll get the chocolate, don't worry ;)

She glared at him as she entered his apartment, and he handed her a very large gift bag, which made her laugh immediately due to its sheer size. "You did not fill this with chocolate, did you?"

"Oh, I did!"

It was heavy! Peeking inside the bag, she had to laugh. It was absolutely full of different kinds of chocolate. I can't be mad at him after this, not even a little bit. She hugged him as she laughed.

"I'm sorry I went to a strip club," he said. "But thank you for being understanding about it. It would have sucked if you had acted the way you really wanted to act over it."

She released him. "I've got to be honest with you; it was very difficult not to be a brat."

"I know, but you managed and I thank you." Tucking her hair behind her ear, he had one more thing to say. "Thank you also for stopping me yesterday. I want it to be really special for us when it finally happens. But just know, if I could rip your clothes off right now I would. And I'd make you scream my name at least ten times before I let you put your clothes back on."

Lower Faith was now throbbing with desire. Thanks, Lucas. Now I'm hornier for you than ever. At least I have some chocolate.

SATURDAY, DAY 30

ALL THE HYPE over Lucas' scary mother had Faith just a little freaked out. Lucas tried to be positive about their inevitable meeting, but Faith knew the chances of gaining Muriel's approval were pretty slim.

Lucas had arrived a little bit early for moral support. He had promised he wouldn't leave her side for even a moment, unless she needed to go to the bathroom. In the event he needed to use the facilities, he would just have to wait. The final promise he had made was that even if the dinner blew to pieces like the Hindenburg, it wouldn't have any effect on his feelings for her. He assured her, their relationship would be fine even if dear ol' mom completely disapproved.

Lucas led her into the lobby of the nicest hotel in town, holding her hand tightly. After checking their coats, they headed to the restaurant. Faith's heart surged as she saw the maître d' waiting to seat them.

When Faith saw Muriel for the first time, she almost did the forty-yard dash in the opposite direction. The woman oozed pretension. Standing by a perfectly set dining table, Muriel waved stiffly to her son. The only way it could have looked more pompous was if she had been wearing white gloves.

"Here we go," Lucas said under his breath.

Faith faked a smile as they headed towards Ms. Priss.

Once there, Muriel hugged her son. "Lucas, darling, I'm so happy to see you." She kissed his cheek then looked closely at his face. "You've gained some weight, my boy. You must be happy."

He smiled. "Hi, Mother. Thanks. I am happy but I don't think I've gained any weight at all." He released his mother from their hug and took Faith's hand back in his. "Mom, I'd like you to meet Faith. Faith, this is my mother, Muriel Anderson."

Faith held her hand out to Muriel, but instead of a shake, she got a stiff, simulated hug. "Hello, darling," Muriel said.

Faith smiled sweetly. "Hi, Mrs. Anderson. It's a pleasure to meet you finally. I've heard a lot about you."

Muriel smiled. "Don't believe a thing the boy says, he doesn't have nearly enough respect for his mother!" She laughed as though putting her only son down were actually charming. "Come now, have a seat. I'm starved."

Lucas pulled out a seat for Faith and tucked it in under her as she sat. He sat down next to her, across from his mother, and took Faith's hand in his and squeezed it.

"I hear you own your own company, Faith. How many employees do you have?" Muriel asked.

The grilling has already begun. Fabulous! She cleared her throat. "It's just me. I work alone and take care of everything."

"Oh. That must be... lonely."

Ugh. She was a piece of work. "No. I like it that way."

Muriel turned her attention to Lucas. "And how is work going for you? Still doing the same job?"

"Yes, mother. Same company, same job. I'd tell you if it changed," he replied.

The waiter came, took their drink order, and brought them a basket of bread. Not in the mood to eat at all, Faith wondered how she was going to make herself order something she didn't even want from an exorbitantly priced menu.

After the waiter left, Muriel put her elbow on the table and her hand up to her mouth. "How long have you two been seeing each other now?"

Lucas and Faith both blushed, giving each other a long stare. This was a question they didn't mind. At the same exact time they both said, "A month." A joint laugh followed.

Muriel's eyes darted back and forth between them. "Well, Faith, you must be doing something right. He certainly gushes over you every chance he gets. After seeing you two together, I suppose his added weight makes sense."

Faith's mind did a double take. What does that mean? "Pardon me?"

Muriel clicked her perfectly manicured bright red nails against her cocktail glass. "Oh, you know how men are, dear. They tend to gain a few pounds when all of their carnal desires are being attended to."

Did she really just say that? Is she seriously making assumptions about our... sex life? Faith's nerves prickled like a porcupine's back.

Lucas decided to deflect and ignore. "We met a little over four weeks ago, but it seems like a lot longer than that." He looked at Faith again. "Doesn't it?"

Faith's attention went back to Lucas. She nodded and smiled. "Yes, it does."

Lucas looked at his mother. "I feel like I've known her forever. We had an instant connection."

Faith took a sip of water as Muriel spoke, "Well, yes, sex will do that to you."

Faith choked slightly, not believing what she had just heard his mother say.

"Mother!"

"What? It's true." Muriel's eyes went to Faith's. "Spreading your legs for a man too early in a relationship puts the fast-forward on, dear." Eyes back to Lucas. "You kids today just fling yourselves at everyone, and unfortunately, those types of relationships don't tend to last. So I don't imagine you two will make it. It feels like love now, but you just wait. I give you three months tops."

No longer prickled but ferociously inflamed, Faith swallowed hard and looked at Lucas, seeing total embarrassment. Faith couldn't remain quiet. "Ma'am, with all due respect--"

Muriel interrupted, "You can call me Muriel."

Faith started over. "Okay, Muriel, with all due respect, not that it's any of your business in the least, but Lucas and I are not having sex. We decided we weren't going to, unless of course we get married, but that's something far off in the future."

Lucas was shocked by Faith's tone as well as her honesty and bravery.

Muriel took a long look at Faith. "Is that so?"

"Yes," she replied indignantly. "Not that it is any of your business. At all."

Muriel looked at Lucas then back at Faith. "Seems to me you may have found yourself a nice young woman here, Lucas." She looked Lucas in the eyes. "Don't screw it up!" She returned her eyes to her menu. "Now, what shall we order? I'm famished."

Lucas was in complete shock as he looked over at Faith. Faith's eyes were big as they shared a slight smile and an invisible high five.

The rest of dinner was exceptionally pleasant. Muriel asked a lot of questions about Faith and actually seemed to appreciate the answers. Faith was thrilled to hear how she had even pulled Lucas aside at the end of dinner to tell him he needed to be a perfect gentleman with Faith. She had told him to be on his best behavior and, again, not to screw it up.

It was a wonderful turn of events. His mother had never liked anyone other than Melissa, so for her to have such a drastic change of heart, all because of sex, was incredible. Lucas told Faith he was proud that she had the type of personality to be comfortable confronting his mother with that type of statement. No one had ever impressed his mother. Ever. Not like this. He'd said, at this rate, his mother might end up liking Faith more than she even liked her own son.

SATURDAY, DAY 37

HE HAD A surprise for her, which required a blindfold. He picked her up at 11:00 a.m. and blindfolded her before getting her in the car.

The winter had been brutal thus far. In fact, they hadn't had a winter like this in over twenty years. A normal temperature would have been about three or four degrees, but this winter the double digit negatives were normal.

He knew from his own experience that winter could get kind of depressing as the days would seem dark and minutes could stretch out for what seemed like days. No new life could be found anywhere. Even seeing the green of grass was impossible due to the piles of snow everywhere.

And then there was being stuck inside. Too cold to even try to enjoy the fun things the snow did have to offer, like sledding, skiing, or an old-fashioned snowball fight. The winter's effect on a normal person could be extreme, so he had figured that someone who struggled with mental illness might be even more bothered by it.

They drove for about forty minutes before he parked the car and helped her get out, still blindfolded.

Once inside, the temperature changed dramatically.

He removed the blindfold, hoping she would like the surprise of being dropped into the middle of a plant-filled conservatory. The temperature alone should be enough to completely renew someone's winter spirit. But it was so much more than that. Green plants, gorgeous orchids of every size and color, the sound of water running in a manmade stream. It was like being transported into spring.

She turned to him and hugged him immediately.

He smiled at her. "I know I needed a little winter pick-me-up, and I figured you might too."

She released him. "This is incredible, thank you so much!" Taking his hand in hers, they explored the garden together, letting the warmth soak in and the fresh-plant-infused-air invade their lungs.

Eventually, they sat down together on a bench at one end of the conservatory, right next to a small waterfall.

Her happiness to be in a different environment was written all over her face.

I did a good job! he thought. See how happy she is. I wish she could always be that happy.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked.

"Of course. You can ask me anything."

"Have you ever thought about leaving Fitchville?"

Her eyes bulged. "You're not trying to get rid of me, are you?"

"No! Not at all... I just wonder, with the way people treat you, why you stay?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. It's my home. I got used to it and now it doesn't matter anymore. People are going to think what they want and there's nothing I can do to change it, so why be bitter?" She looked into his eyes. "I'd have the same problems anywhere I went, because like it or not, I'd be taking myself with me."

He didn't say anything, just looked into her eyes.

"People call me crazy because I am. I don't blame them. I freaked out at school a few times, so most of them have seen me at my worst, and I'm sure it's not something a person on that side of things forgets easily. You've seen some of it, but you haven't been there fully, and maybe you never will be there seeing it for yourself in its full glory. But chances are, as much as I hate to think about it, you will. And once you see it full force, I think you'll understand."

He took her hand in his and squeezed it. "You know it wouldn't scare me off, don't you?"

"I hope not."

"It wouldn't."

"We'll see, Lucas... Let's not worry about that. Let's just focus on what we have right now. We have happiness and smiles. We have hugs and amazing kisses that make my heart melt. We have freedom to do what we want and a God who loves us more than we can imagine. We have you, and we have me. And we fit together pretty damn well." She brought her face close to his.

"We do fit together pretty well, don't we?"

She nodded. "I bet we'd fit together perfectly if we ever... ya know."

He grinned. "I bet it would be a perfect, made-for-one-another fit. Why was it we decided to wait?"

She snickered. "For God."

"Oh, yeah, that's right. A man can have dreams even if they're far off in the future dreams, right?"

"Right." She leaned her head into his. "And now you're going to kiss me."

He brought his lips to hers. "Oh yes, I am. Bring those lips here this instant."

They sat on the bench in the warmness of the conservatory sharing a slow, sweet kiss for a long while.

They finally separated. "I bring you here to refresh your soul and you end up refreshing mine. Thank you, Quinn."

"Anytime, Anderson."

WEDNESDAY, DAY 48

LUCAS WAS NERVOUS when the phone rang. He didn't speak to his mother very often, but he needed to have this conversation with her before she found out about Faith's condition from someone else. Things had gone so well at their first meeting that he didn't want to chance messing it up by allowing the truth to be a surprise to her.

"Hello, darling," she answered. "To what do I owe the honor of your call?"

"Hi, Mom. How are you today?"

"I'm good, just getting ready to head out to the club. What can I do for you?"

He took a deep breath. "I need to tell you something... about Faith."

"You didn't screw it up already, did you? My heavens, dear, what did you do?"

"No, Mother. I didn't screw it up. I just need to tell you something, but first let me say I am really glad you like her. She's very special to me and it means a lot to me that you accept her. It really does, so thank you."

He heard the smile in Muriel's voice. "Well, of course, dear. She's a lovely girl."

"Yes, she is... and... well..."

"Just spit it out, Lucas, we don't have all day."

"I really think she's the one for me, and I'm going to ask her to marry me. I would like to have your blessing. Of course I'm going to do it either way, but I prefer to have it."

"Dear, if you think that's what you want for your life then who am I to stop you? I just don't know what the rush is."

Fine, he would just say it. "Mom, Faith has a fairly serious mental disorder."

"Oh," Muriel replied.

"I hope you won't think less of her as it's not something she can control. I knew about it from the start, and I've seen some unusual things with her for sure, but I can't help how I feel. I love her."

His mother was silent.

"She's on medication and lives a completely normal life--"

She interrupted him, "I still don't understand the rush."

"It's not a rush, it's just, I know what I want and I don't want to waste any more time. The truth is, she's great right now, but things could change. Her condition could regress and I could lose her, but I've prayed about it a lot and... well... I don't know what the future holds for us, but what I do know is that I don't want to wait around and regret it."

"Well then. It's settled," she replied. "Keep me posted."

"I will."

The phone was quiet for a moment, then she spoke again, "Lucas..."

"Yes."

"I'm proud of the man you've become, dear."

That floored him. She had never said anything even remotely close to that before. "Thank you," he replied in a tone that he was sure showed his surprise.

"All right, if that's all, I do need to go. Give Faith my love."

"Yes, that's it. I will."

"Okay then. Goodbye, dear."

"Bye, Mom."

He couldn't believe how well it had gone. He texted Faith right away.

L: It's official, my mother likes you more than she likes me

F: What?

L: I told her about your OSP and she didn't care

F: You're joking, right?

L: Nope - and get this... she said she is proud of me

F: NO!

L: Yes. I almost fell out of my chair

F: I have fallen out of my chair ;)

L: Thank you, Faith

F: For what?

L: Everything

FRIDAY, DAY 50

HE ONLY FELT a little bit nervous as he knocked on Mr. and Mrs. Quinn's front door. This would be his first time visiting them without Faith by his side. He hoped it went well.

Her mother answered with a smile. "Well, hello, Lucas, what a nice surprise!" She looked around to see if Faith was with him. "Where's Faith?"

"Hi, Mrs. Quinn. I'm sorry for dropping by like this but I wanted to talk to you and your husband if you have a few moments."

She looked a little worried but her everything-is-fine facade was clearly up. He imagined this was a skill she had honed over the years. "Sure, come on in. I'll go get George."

George came down the stairs a few moments later.

He held his hand out to Lucas for a shake. "Hello, my good man. How are you?"

Lucas loved that Faith's dad liked him; it was what he hoped for from the beginning. Life was always so much easier when he had parental approval. Getting Mrs. Quinn on board had been a little trickier, but he'd persevered and eventually she had realized that he was the real deal. "Good, and you?"

"Not too shabby," George replied and then invited Lucas to take a seat in the living room.

Mr. and Mrs. Quinn sat on the couch while Lucas sat in a chair across from them.

"So what's on your mind, Lucas?" George asked.

Lucas rubbed his hands together as he began. "As you know, Faith and I have been seeing each other for a while now and I wanted to talk to you about something, but I didn't want her to know. It's not that I want to keep secrets, it's just--"

Mrs. Quinn interrupted, worry washing over her face. "Oh no. She's not having symptoms again, is she? I knew it. I knew she had been doing too well. You were right to come to us." She stood up and started towards the kitchen. "I'll call the doctor and we'll get her in right away. It's important to catch it early--"

"No! No, it's nothing like that."

A look of relief and embarrassment stopped her in her tracks. She took a deep breath. "Thank God."

George looked at Lucas. "Excuse her. She's a bit of an over-reactor. Come sit back down, honey, and let the man have his say."

Lucas smiled. "I guess Faith comes by it honestly then."

George nodded. "Yes, definitely." They laughed together.

With Mrs. Quinn back on the couch, Lucas began again. "As I was saying, we've been seeing each other for a while and I wanted to come over here and ask you... well, not really ask, because I've already made up my mind about this. It's more that I really would like you to have the chance to say what you need to say to me about it because I'm sure you will have your opinions." He took a deep breath. "I'm going to ask your daughter to marry me."

They were obviously shocked by this. They looked at each other, then back at Lucas.

George spoke first, "Well... I guess I don't really know what to say." He looked at his wife again. "I think that's very noble of you but... probably not the best idea. I don't think you know what you're really getting into, son."

"With all due respect, sir, I've thought and prayed about this a lot, and I'm confident I do know what I'm getting into. The bottom line is, I love her and I don't want to waste any more of my life living without her. I want her next to me. I want to take care of her. I want to spend the rest of my life waking up next to her. I've done my research. Faith has told me all about her disorder, and I've experienced some of it, as you know. I know there are risks, but I believe the reward of being with her is worth the risk."

George spoke again, "And with all due respect to you, Lucas, there's a tremendous difference between reading about it and living through it. We've lived through it, and it's no picnic. In fact, it's downright... it's like hell, to be honest. It's horrible to watch someone you love fall away from you, not knowing if they'll ever return, and I can guarantee you, it will happen again. It will."

Lucas understood what George was saying, so he took a deep breath. "Well, I already love her, sir, so what would you have me do? I can't walk away. I don't want to walk away. So my only other option is to jump all in, and that's my choice. All in."

Mrs. Quinn finally spoke up, "Lucas, we know you mean well, and you have certainly been good to our daughter. I mean, no one else has ever even given her a chance to be normal and we truly appreciate that. She's happier than we've ever seen her, but she's also better than she's ever been. I don't want you to think just because she's doing well now that she will always be this way. She won't. It will happen again, and then what will you do? If you marry her, there's no walking away, there's no escape. I'm afraid a divorce would kill her, literally. It would break her spirit completely and kill her."

"Mrs. Quinn, I understand what you're saying, but you need to understand something about me. I don't believe in divorce. God gifted me with extreme patience and understanding, and I honestly believe the reason He did was so I could be with your daughter. If and when it happens again, I will be there every step of the way. I'm not going anywhere."

They were both silent for a moment, but then Mrs. Quinn had more to add. "You know you won't be able to have a family with her. No kids of your own. You won't even be able to adopt."

He nodded. "Yes, ma'am, I know that. And I'm fine with it."

George looked at his wife again and they shared a long stare. He stood and walked over to Lucas. "Sounds like you've already made up your mind."

"I have, sir," Lucas said, standing up.

George stuck his hand out for a shake. "I'm going to hold you to your word. I'd be honored to have you as my son-in-law."

"Thank you, sir. That means a lot to me." Lucas shook George's hand and then looked over at Faith's mother, who was crying. "I'm sorry, ma'am, I didn't come here to upset you."

Through her tears she said, "Just do two things for me, please."

"Anything," Lucas replied.

"Don't have a big wedding. I don't think she could handle the stress. I know it's every girl's dream but she's different and we have to protect her."

Lucas nodded. "Done. And the second?"

"You have to talk her into the sterilization procedure. An unplanned pregnancy would be awful."

Lucas had already considered that. "Obviously, it's ultimately her decision but I agree with you. It would be the wise way to go. I'll do my best to convince her."

She nodded, then slowly stood up. "You're a good man, Lucas. Our daughter is very lucky to have you." She walked over to him and gave him a hug.

"I believe I'm the lucky one."

SATURDAY, DAY 51

"YOU KNOW WHAT we haven't had since we met?" he asked as they drove.

"What?"

"Pizza... you know... from the place we met."

She laughed. "We should go there tonight, for nostalgia's sake. Let me just make sure I have my wallet first." She looked over at him as he grinned. What a beautiful smile he had. And his eyes, they pierced her soul in a way that made her soar.

He pulled into the parking lot, parked, and then they met at the front of the truck as he took her hand in his and led her inside.

As usual for the weekend, the line was long. Turning her body to him, giddiness filled her as her eyes connected with his. So gorgeous, so amazing. She didn't say it often but couldn't help herself. Up on her tippy toes she whispered, "I love you, Lucas."

His head turned slightly to the left with a mischievous grin. "But the question is, do you love me enough?"

Brow furrowed, Faith's eyes squinted. "Enough? For what?"

He took a step back and went down on one knee.

"What are you doing?" she asked. But when he reached into his pocket, she knew exactly what he was doing. Lord in heaven, is this really happening?

He held out an absolutely gorgeous square cut diamond ring in a platinum setting. "I thought it only fitting to do this in the place where it all began."

Hand over her mouth, she hid her smile.

"Faith, you've made my life so happy since we met, and I just can't imagine a day without you, so I want to get this show on the road. I love you with all my heart and would like to know if you would do me the honor of being my wife?"

She was speechless. Her thoughts whirled.

Does he mean it? Has he really considered all the options? Is he aware of the risks? Can I put a person I love this much in the position he is asking for?

Apparently her response was taking too long for him. "Would you like to text me later with your response?" he asked, grinning.

She took her phone from her pocket and began to type a message.

F: You just want to marry me so we can have sex ;)

His phone buzzed. "Hold on, I think I have a message." He laughed. "I'm not going to lie, that's part of it! But you know me better than that."

"I don't know if I can do this to you, Lucas. You're a wonderful man and you deserve everything you desire. Marrying me... well, you'd be giving up some things you really want, not to mention the stress and worry."

"Faith! I know what I want and I know what it means. All I can say is... I still want it. So... what do you say?"

Her eyes filled with tears. "Really? You're serious? You have no reservations about this?"

"Not one," he replied. "I love you and I want to get started with our lives together as soon as possible."

A tear fell down her cheek. "Yes, I will marry you. Yes! Now get up off that dirty floor!"

He stood up and slid the ring on her finger, then leaned in to give her a kiss. That kiss turned into another, and then another as the people in line clapped for their happy moment.

She hugged him. "My parents are going to flip out!"

"Nah, I already spoke to them and they're fine with it."

Surprised and touched, she stood on her toes and kissed his lips, then looked down at the gorgeous ring on her finger. Did that just really happen? A gorgeous man asked me to marry him... and I said yes?

His next words surprised her and confirmed she'd made a good choice. "I know exactly what you're thinking. Yes, it did just happen, and yes, you are going to be my wife."

He's a freaking mind reader. And he said he didn't have that skill. Bah!

Back at his place, they sat on the couch eating pizza and watching television. She couldn't stop smiling and looking at her ring.

"Do you like it? Did I do a good job picking it out?"

"Yes, aside from one thing."

His face showed worry. "What?"

"You spent way too much money on it. It's gorgeous."

Relief washed over his face. "I spent just what I needed to, my dear, and you are worth every penny. Besides, I got a huge bonus last month. So don't you worry about the money."

"Bonus? For what?"

"Remember how I needed to leave the night you were at the hospital?"

She nodded.

"Well, when my boss called, that's one of the reasons I left to go fix the problem. I knew he would pay me well for it, and I also knew I wanted to buy this ring for you. So, as hard as it was to leave you that day, it made sense."

"You left me so we could be together forever. And I thought you were breaking up with me."

He hugged her. "You're stuck with me now. And forever is forever." He paused a moment. "I was thinking. I don't really want to have a big wedding. What would you think about just doing something small."

"Ugh, I'm so glad to hear you say that. I don't want a big wedding either, it would totally stress me out!"

He smiled. "That's what I figured. How about a destination wedding and honeymoon rolled into one, just the two of us?"

"Sounds divine! As long as our parents are okay with it." She stopped quickly, dropping her hands down to her lap. All the excitement in her left. "Oh no... What about your mother? She's not going to be happy. Us getting married and not letting her throw you a huge braggy soiree."

"Don't worry about her. I already told her I was going to ask you and she was fine. As for the gala she'll want to throw us, I'll explain why it's not a good idea, and she'll just have to deal with it. No worries."

Her excitement returned quickly. "We are going to get married!"

"Yes, we are."

"I'm going to be your wife."

"Yes, you are."

"I'll be Mrs. Anderson. You won't be able to call me 'Quinn' anymore."

"Oh, I will still call you that, Quinn."

Her heart felt so full as she gazed at him. She crawled over to him on the couch and planted a strong kiss right on his lips. She stayed right there and turned their kiss into something far more intense than what it began as.

She straddled his lap, grabbing hold of his shirt in the front with both hands. "Are you sure you want to be stuck with me forever and ever?"

"Oh, I'm sure. Are you sure?"

"Hell yeah," she said then dove into him with another deep kiss.

MONDAY, DAY 53

IN ONLY A week's time they had decided where they wanted to get married: Grand Cayman Island. Excited to have the decision made, an intense make out session was underway. Not too long after its onset, Lucas sat up quickly. "Okay, we need to stop or I'm going to rip all your clothes off and hold you captive in this bed for a week straight."

She laughed and then pouted, reaching for a handful of shirt to bring him back for more. "Well, we are engaged. Maybe that's sufficient."

I can't deny her kisses when she looks at me that way. Sexy little grin, adorable pout, perky tits staring straight at me. "I think God specifies marriage for a reason, my dear, but I'm happy to love on you some more."

Pulling him to her, she spoke, "I love the way you love on me."

His lips went to hers and his hips followed, finding just the right place yet again. "I can't wait to love on you... naked."

She stopped him with a frightened look. "What if I'm terrible at it? What if you're disappointed? Then you'll wish you never married me and you'll be stuck with bad sex for the rest of your life!"

He laughed heartily right in her face.

"I'm serious."

"I know you are, which is why I'm laughing. Is our making out time unpleasant?"

She puffed her lips out then shook her head.

"Are we attracted to each other?"

A nod.

"Are we in love?"

Another nod.

"Okay then, don't worry about the sex. It'll be great. I promise."

"What if it's not?"

His eyes went wide. "Stop it! It's going to be wonderful. I have no doubt at all." Perfect opportunity to bring up the uncomfortable subject he'd been putting off. "Since we're discussing 'what ifs,' what if I got you pregnant?"

She just blinked at him.

"To be clear, I don't want to get you pregnant. My question is what are we going to do to prevent it? I have a feeling we're not going to be able to keep our hands off each other, and I don't want things to... change."

She pushed him off her and sat up. "My mother made you promise to talk to me, didn't she?"

Oh, boy. Is she mad? I can't tell. "Yeah, she did, but I had already thought about it before."

She slid off the side of his bed. "This is stupid. What are we thinking? We can't get married--"

"Hold it there, little lady!" he shouted, scooting after her quickly. He snatched her hand and pulled her into his lap. "Don't be that way. It's a legitimate question, don't you think?"

He could tell she didn't want to look at him.

"Faith, what's happening in your head? Tell me."

After a short silence, she looked directly into his eyes. "You can't marry me, Lucas. It will ruin your life. I love you too much to do that to you."

Words weren't going to work so he went straight for the panty melter. Smile, dimple, smoldering eyes, followed by a slow, incredible kiss.

When he was done, she replied, "I should probably have the procedure."

"I agree." He ran his fingers through her hair. "It's your decision though. I support you whatever you want to do. I just know I'm going to want to be all over you. Like every day for the rest of your life." He pulled her in for another kiss. "Just giving you fair warning, I'm a patient man, but keeping my hot, writhing, naked body off of yours has been very difficult."

"I think that might be the most romantic thing you've ever said to me!"

"Better than 'I like your boobs'?"

"Yes. Better than that. I have a check-up with Dr. Guiley this week, so I'll talk to him and see what he says." Her face saddened. "Are you sure you're okay with not having any kids? I know it was something you wanted."

He looked into her eyes sweetly. "Things change, Quinn. I will be perfectly happy with a life spent with you."

"Really?"

"Absolutely!"

WEDNESDAY, DAY 55

SHE TEXTED LUCAS as soon as she was done at her doctor appointment.

F: My check-up was good

L: Good!

F: I decided to have the surgery

L: You're sure?

F: Yes, it's the best choice

L: Any idea when?

F: Not sure but will know soon

L: You don't have to do it for me

F: I know. I'm doing it for us

L: Can't wait to marry you

F: You can't wait to have sex with me ;)

L: Very true!

F: I'm looking forward to it too

L: The marriage or the sex?

F: Both

FRIDAY, DAY 57

THEIR PLANS CAME together once the surgery was set for a week later. There would be a three-week recovery time, so they decided to give recovery a full four weeks before getting hitched. Lucas found the perfect place in Grand Cayman for them to stay for a week. They would be married on the beach the Saturday after they arrived. It was all set. Now all they had to do was wait.

THURSDAY, DAY 63

WITH THE WORKDAY over, it was time to go pick up the little woman to spring the surprise of her life on her. Dinner first though, as he knew the importance of eating timely.

On their way to the surprise, she grilled him constantly.

Amused by her lack of patience, he teased, "You're the kind of person who reads the last chapter of a book first, aren't you?"

Looking like a ten-year-old caught packing to run away, she replied innocently, "Maybe. Can you give me a hint?"

"I should have paid for dinner with quarters."

She gave him a playful glare. "That's your hint? You suck at this."

He laughed and tried again. "Would you like me to write it on a note?"

"You bought me some cheap post-its with change? Seriously, you're terrible at this."

He laughed again. "I made an executive decision about building our lives together."

"Forget it. I'll just wait." She crossed her arms and huffed. Peeking over, she whispered, "I do like a man who isn't afraid to decide. It's very sexy... even if you are horrible at giving hints."

He stopped the car on the street and turned to her, but didn't say anything.

"What?" she asked, looking at him.

"This is your surprise." He pointed to the house the car was parked in front of. "It's our new living quarters, I took out a note to pay for it. It's a building. Get it? It's ours. I hope you like it."

Her eyes bulged. "Are you kidding?"

"Nope. I hope you don't mind I did it on my own. The negotiations when buying a house can be really stressful, not to mention the emotional attachment you can have to a place you might not get, and I didn't want to put you through that."

Her eyes were misting as she stared at the older, one-story bungalow. It had a front porch spanning the entire face of the house.

"It needs a little work," he said, "but I figured we could do it together."

She was still staring as a tear meandered down her cheek.

"Faith, are you okay?"

Oh no. Did I totally screw up? Can't really return a house once you buy it. I might be looking at my new rental property.

Finally, she looked at him. "You didn't want me to be stressed?"

Uh oh. I can't tell what she's thinking. Am I in trouble?

"Uh... no," he said.

"You didn't want my head to get messed up."

"No. I want you calm and smiling. Happy and headache free. Is that a bad thing?"

She buried her face in her hands and began sobbing.

Oh, man. What have I done?

"I'm sorry, Faith. I didn't mean to leave you out. I just wanted to protect you..."

She dropped her hands as she launched her face into his chest, wrapping her arms around his midsection, crying all the more.

Surprised, he paused, arms straight out like a zombie with a highly emotional giant leech attached to him.

"I love you so much, Lucas."

His arms squeezed her. "So you're not mad?"

"No. I'm not mad." She rose up, looking into his eyes. "You're the most wonderful, thoughtful, amazing man in the world. And you... love me. How is that possible?"

"Have you met yourself?"

She snickered as she playfully slapped his arm. "Thank you."

He cleared her tears gently. "Wanna go in and see it?"

"Yes! Yes, I want to see it!"

"Okay, let's go then, but first you have to give me a kiss."

Her lips struck his, and he was sure.

She loves me just as much as I love her. Life is good!

It was a grey house with white details and a brown roof, which reminded him of the house his mother and father had shared before they divorced. Once inside the empty home, he showed her the dining room to the right and a living room with a huge fireplace to the left. It had beautiful original trim, old doorknobs, and creaky hardwood floors.

"Do you like it?" he asked.

She turned to him in awe. "I love it!"

"Really? You don't have to say that unless you mean it."

"I mean it. I love it!" She went to him with a hug and a kiss.

Continuing their walk through the house, they stepped into a big kitchen with countertops and cabinets that needed some love. There was a small, full bathroom off the kitchen and then three bedrooms. The master had a full bathroom as well, but it needed some serious work.

"Some paint, a little hard work, and it will be fine," he said with a smile.

"It's perfect." Stepping into him, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you."

"I will never tire of hearing you say those three wonderful words." He smiled at her. "I love you too." An eyebrow went up. "Wanna make out in our new house?"

"Heck yeah!" She attacked him forcefully.

FRIDAY, DAY 64

SURGERY MORNING.

I'm not looking forward to this day, Lucas thought. I just want it to be over. Although the days following aren't going to be much fun either as I have a feeling I won't be seeing her much while she's staying at her parents. Oh, God, please be good to her. Please bring her through safely and with as little pain as necessary. I feel responsible, like she's putting herself through this just for me. Me and my need to have sex with her. That seems so selfish. She's having integral parts of her insides ripped out so I can use her body as my own personal carnival. I'm such a jerk.

"What are you thinking about?"

His eyes went to her sweet face. He stroked her cheek as she lay in her hospital bed awaiting the inevitable. "Just praying for God to be good to you."

"He has been good to me. He gave me you."

Lucas kissed her lips.

"I want to tell you something, Lucas." Her eyes piercing his, holding him captive right at her face. "I want you to know, these last few months have been the happiest of my life. And I mean that."

Oh no, she's going to give me the just-in-case-I-don't-make-it speech. I don't think I can handle this without a Faith-style meltdown.

"If something happens, I need you to know my life has been perfect since you arrived. I'm happier than I've ever been and I regret nothing. I love you with all of me and what I want more than anything is your happiness."

"You're going to be fine, sweetie..."

"Just listen. I need to say this."

He nodded and she continued.

"If things change in my brain as a result of the anesthesia--I mean my OSP--you don't have to marry me. I don't want you to marry me if I lose it. I want you to move on with your life and be happy, okay?"

He stared into those brown, doe eyes. "I understand what you're saying, but I don't think I could ever be happy again without you, Faith. So let's just have faith that you're going to be fine. Okay?"

It took a moment, but finally she nodded.

"I love you, my sweet Faith, and I'll be right here waiting for you when you're all done."

The surgery went well, although it a little longer than expected. The surgery was technically a hysterectomy, leaving the ovaries so she wouldn't go into menopause at such a young age. He could tell there was a lot of abdominal pain but she handled it fairly well. Lucas and Faith had never spent the night together, and didn't want to until Grand Cayman, so Faith stayed at her parents' house for several days after the surgery so that someone would be around to help take care of her. After that, she went back to her apartment and took care of herself.

SUNDAY MORNING, DAY 73

FAITH LOVED SITTING in church with Lucas. It felt so adult to have him sitting next to her, taking in the service with her, especially now that they were engaged. They sat holding hands as usual while the service concluded.

As they rose from the pew, someone Faith didn't recognize called Lucas's name. It turned out to be one of his coworkers along with her family.

"I thought that was you, Lucas. Is this your fianceé?"

Lucas smiled. "Oh, hi, Emily. Yes. This is my fianceé, Faith."

Faith and Emily shook hands as the rest of the introductions were made. Emily had four children, two boys and two girls from ages two to ten. The two-year-old girl took a shine to Lucas immediately and pulled on his leg, wanting to be picked up. He picked her up sweetly and started talking to her.

Faith watched with a smile, loving the way he looked with a child in his arms.

"So, Faith, I've heard a lot about you. Lucas and I work together often on projects so we see each other a lot. He told me how he popped the question and you said yes. That is so exciting!"

Faith smiled. "Yes, it is. I was very surprised. It's not like we've been seeing each other all that long, so I had no idea he was even thinking about it."

Emily reached out to Faith's hand, wanting to see the ring. "That is gorgeous! He is so romantic. What a beautiful couple you are."

"Thank you," Faith replied and then turned her attention to Lucas who was making eyes at the adorable two-year-old in his arms.

Emily smiled. "He looks good like that, doesn't he?"

Faith nodded. "He sure does."

"Well, it won't be too long and you guys will be popping them out. Just make sure you enjoy some couple time first. Life gets crazy once you add the kids, and from what Lucas told me a while back, he wants a lot of them."

Faith felt like she had been stabbed in the heart with a knife but she smiled through it, not wanting to be rude. He really did want kids. Lots of them, so much that he had told his co-worker and she had remembered it as something important about him.

Lucas passed the toddler to her mother and began to rub Faith's back. She knew he was feeling sorry for her. "It was good seeing you, Emily, and meeting your family, but we should probably go," he said.

"Oh, yeah, sure. By all means, don't let me hold you up."

Lucas leaned into the sweet little girl and tickled her nose then waved goodbye to Emily and her family. Taking Faith's hand in his, they headed out to the parking lot.

Oh, how I hate that look of pity he gets when he's feeling sorry for me.

"You don't have to say anything," she said, not wanting to look at him. "It's fine."

"It was a long time ago that I said that to her. Way before I met you."

"I know. It's fine."

They got in the car and started driving. "I was thinking about going over to the house today and doing some more work on the kitchen. I don't want you doing anything since you're supposed to be resting, but I would love for you to come and keep me company. What do you say?"

"I don't know. Why don't we go have lunch at your place first."

"Sure," he replied then grabbed her hand.

He was very attentive to her during lunch, and she was able to pretend she was fine without much problem. The truth of the matter was that her heart hurt more than she could ever imagine. She felt like she was keeping him from having what he truly wanted out of life. Guilt washed over her, but knowing he would just tell her everything was okay kept her from talking to him about it.

He wanted to head over to the house to take the kitchen cabinet doors off to have them refinished, but she wasn't very interested in going. She wanted to be alone to get her emotions out.

"You go. I'll stay here and wait for you."

He gave her sad eyes. "I want you to come too."

"I'm not really feeling up to it, but you should go."

"Please come with me?" he begged.

She glared at him playfully. "I tell you what. You go now while I rest for a bit, then I'll meet you over there in a little while. How does that sound?"

"Sure, that will work. I'm gonna go change." He kissed her lips then headed off to his bedroom.

Lying on the couch staring at the ceiling, she heard Emily's voice in her head. "It won't be too long and you guys will be popping them out... and from what Lucas told me a while back... he wants a lot of them."

Lucas returned to the living room and sat down on the edge of the couch by her side. "You okay?"

She nodded, doing her best to fake it.

"I love you," he said as he leaned down bringing his lips to hers.

She kissed him then smiled. "I love you too. Don't work too hard."

"I won't." He stood up and went to get his coat. "I expect to see you in a few hours, okay?"

She nodded.

He waved and left.

Tears flooded her eyes the moment the door shut.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON, DAY 73

HE WAS WORKING hard, sweating as he took the last cabinet door from its place. He looked at his phone and realized that Faith should have been there already. He decided to text her.

L: Hey there, sleepyhead... wondering where you are

He waited about five minutes but there was no answer.

L: Come on, Faith

Another five minutes went by and he still didn't hear from her. Afraid something was wrong, he texted again.

L: I'm worried about you so I'm coming home. Stay there

Rushing into his apartment looking to the couch first, he found nothing but the blanket she usually liked to curl up with. He called her name with no answer, checked every room, but she wasn't there.

Back in the living room, he noticed a piece of paper on the dining room table. Ah, she's explained herself in a note. It's probably fine. As he stepped closer to the table, he saw... her engagement ring sitting on top of the note. His heart hammered in his chest as he thought about the only reason she would have left her ring with a note. She had left. She had really left.

He picked up the note and read it quickly, wanting to get what he knew it said over with as fast as possible.

Dear Lucas,

I love you too much to let you give up something you want and deserve to have in life. You need to find someone who can give you everything you desire, including children.

I love you too much to put you in the position to have to spend your life constantly worrying about what the next day will hold. You need to find someone who isn't so broken and can give you the stability you deserve.

I love you too much to put you through more hospital visits and the stigma that goes with being involved with someone who everyone thinks is crazy. You need to find someone who is happy and healthy and free to give you all of them.

I love you too much to stay. You need to let me go and trust me that this is best for you. Thank you for being so good to me, thank you for showing me what love really is, and thank you for making me feel so normal for the first time in my life.

I will always love you... but we need to say goodbye... I'm sorry...

Love - Faith

He grabbed his phone immediately, feeling completely betrayed.

She pretended she was fine just to get rid of me. She sent me over there without her just so she could leave me.

L: Just read your note. It's ridiculous. Call me NOW!

Grabbing the note and the ring, he headed to her apartment hoping she would be there. He marched up the stairs, went straight to her door, and banged on it hard.

"Faith, it's me. Let me in now. I'm not kidding."

He banged again, harder. "I'm not leaving until you talk to me. I'll stay out here all night if I have to."

She opened the door slowly.

Surprised the stand-off was already over, he looked into her eyes. "How could you do that to me?" Furious and hurt, he watched her step out of the way of the open door, letting him know he could come in. He briskly entered her apartment. "I was worried about you, Faith. When you didn't show up, I thought you were hurt. I thought you were in need, so I rushed home, only to find this..." He took the note out of his pocket and held it up. "What the hell?"

She closed the door and looked at him with a tear-stained face.

He spoke loudly, "I've given you everything, every part of me! I've been understanding and patient! I've done nothing but love you and take care of you! I've sacrificed for you--"

She interrupted him timidly, "You shouldn't have to sacrifice what you want in life for love... not for me."

He stepped up to her and his voice boomed. "That is my choice, Faith. Not yours! You don't get to make that choice for me!"

She shrank back as tears came to her eyes. "I wasn't trying to choose for you--"

He stepped into her again, backing her towards the wall. "But that's what you've done. Don't you see that? You think you're protecting me but you're not." He stepped towards her again. "You're ripping my still beating heart out of my chest and handing it to me."

Tears filled her eyes as she looked up at him.

"I love you!" he said loudly. "I bought this ring for you! I bought a house for us! I planned my whole future in my head around you... and us. You don't get to take that from me, Faith! You don't get to take that from me without it at least being a discussion with me!"

He backed her against the wall and looked down at her. His hands went to the wall on either side of her, boxing her in.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked up at him.

"You can't leave me." He slammed his right hand into the wall with a force that made her whole body flinch. He growled and then said it again, "You can't leave me!"

Reaching up to his face, her hands went to his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Lucas. I'm so sorry."

He leaned his head into hers, softening slightly. "I love you so much. You can't leave me."

"I love you too... so much that I don't want you to give up having what you want."

"What I want is you! Don't you get that? All I want is you and that's enough. It's everything. Don't take that from me. Please, don't take it from me," he begged.

She held his face. "Okay. Okay. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

He nestled his lips up to hers. "I can't breathe without you."

"Okay. It's okay," she said quietly, tears still flowing.

He pressed his lips to hers with passion. He kissed her deeply, as though his life depended on it. He separated from her and took his coat off quickly and flung it to the floor, then went right back to her with a very aggressive kiss.

She's mine! Damn it, I will never lose her, not if I can help it. She's the reason God made me, and I will not be without her!

He felt her hands drop from his cheeks and go to his sides. He pressed his body against hers into the wall. The kisses were deep, perhaps deeper than they had ever been.

I need to dominate her completely. I need to own her, now.

He grabbed her under the thighs and yanked her up, spreading her legs while holding her rear and pressing his excitement into her firmly. He leaned his forehead into hers. "You are mine. This body belongs to me, and I'm not ever giving you up."

Her eyes were reflective, settling somewhere between pained and desirous.

"Don't ever leave me. Don't ever write me another note like that again. Do you hear me?" His mouth was just over hers, waiting for an answer. "Never again."

"Never," she replied quietly.

He dove back into another hard kiss, driving his tongue deep into her mouth. "Oh, Faith, I love you so damned much." He growled. "I've got to have you. I've got to make you mine once and for all."

He carried her to the bedroom, quickly placing her on the bed. His body quickly covered hers. He went to his knees. "I am going to ravage you," he said as he started to take her shirt off. Her bra remained as he pressed himself back into her.

"Lucas," she said faintly as he began kissing her neck, sucking long and hard at each spot he kissed.

"What," he replied gruffly.

"I think we need to stop."

"No. I love you. I have to have you now. I can't wait any longer." He ground himself into her forcefully.

Tears collected in her eyes.

He reached down to the fly of her jeans and began to release them, then dragged them down a bit. "Your body is perfect. I want it all." He removed them completely then went back to her neck, kissing and grinding with fury.

Now in a full cry, she spoke his name again, "Lucas."

"Yes," he breathed into her neck, one hand on her bra covered breast.

"I'm scared. I'm scared you're going to hurt me. Please stop."

Still not hearing the emotion in her voice he answered, "I would never hurt you. Never. You can trust me with all you are."

"But if we do this, you will." She had to stop to breathe through her tears. "My surgery... it's only been ten days."

His eyes closed and everything in him stopped as he processed her words. It took him a moment, but finally he collected his thoughts.

What am I doing to the woman I love more than anything? I'm forcing myself on her, and she's right... I would most definitely have hurt her.

He raised himself up and looked into her eyes with total remorse. The tears he saw nearly stopped his heart. He lifted himself off her body, but wanted to stay above her. "I'm so sorry, Faith."

Eyes closed, she wailed. "No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have done that to you."

He sat up and grabbed for her immediately. "Come here, baby. Come here and let me hold you."

She came to him as he gently wrapped his arms around her shaking body. "Please know I would never hurt you. Not on purpose. I'm so sorry."

I lost control of myself. It rarely happens, but I did. I lost myself for a little while and she was smart enough to bring me back to the man I really am. She saved me from ruining everything. She saved me from breaking my promise and from causing her pain.

He took a few deep breaths and then kissed her lips. "See, Faith, you're not the only one who loses herself sometimes." He reached for her shirt and helped her put it back on. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

Hugging him tightly, she sniffled. "I'm fine."

They found each other's eyes.

"Why would you leave me like that?" he asked quietly. "Don't you know how much I love you?"

Tears gathered in her eyes. "Seeing you with that little girl today... you were so sweet. And then... Emily... and what she said... It hurt my heart so bad."

"Shhh... it's okay."

She leaned her head sideways on his chest. "I'm so sorry for getting you so upset. I didn't mean it that way. I meant it as a sacrifice. I thought it would make you happy in the end. I'm sorry."

"There is no way for me to be happy without you." He reached into his pocket and pulled out her engagement ring. "I'm not going to feel better until I see this back on your finger where it belongs. Please tell me I haven't ruined everything. Please say you still want to marry me."

She nodded, trying to stop her tears. "I do. More than anything."

He took her left hand and slid the ring back on her finger. He kissed it then wrapped his arms around her again. "I love you. Please don't ever do that to me again. You have to believe that I wouldn't have asked you to marry me if I wasn't okay with what we could have together."

"Okay. I believe you."

He took a deep breath and released her. He took her hands in his and looked at her. "I'm sorry about my behavior. I must have scared you."

She didn't reply.

He leaned his head to hers. "I know it was intense, but I need you to know I would never hurt you, you know that, right?"

She nodded. "I know."

"You brought out a part of me that doesn't come out often. I know I seemed mad but it wasn't that. It was fear."

"I'm so sorry."

"Thank you for stopping me. I wasn't thinking clearly."

"I know. Thank you for coming and fighting for us. I don't want to live my life without you. Thank you for being willing to give up having children for me."

"Dogs are easier anyway."

She smiled slightly. "No college."

"Or weddings," he replied.

"I guess fear really makes you want to eat raisins."

Embarrassed, he took a deep breath. "Fear of losing you, yes. I'm a passionate guy sometimes."

"I liked the passion, Lucas. I didn't like you not listening to me."

He closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry. It won't happen again."

She nodded.

"I can't wait until you're really all mine and you can't run away."

"Lucas, I'm already all yours. There is no one else in the world for me but you."

FRIDAY, DAY 92

THEY WERE BOTH really excited as they waited in the airport terminal to board their flight to Grand Cayman. She was reviewing their relationship silently in her mind. Only a little over three months had passed, yet they were sitting together holding hands on their way to get married. They were totally in love, he was fully aware and accepting of her condition, she got along with his friends, their families were supportive for the most part, her symptoms were almost non-existent, and they were going to get to have sex soon without worry of pregnancy.

Suddenly, panic struck her. Sex. They were going to have sex for the first time and it was going to happen soon. Probably, almost definitely the next day. Her heart stopped in her chest and a feeling of complete dread came over her. She squeezed his hand hard.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She shook her head, not wanting to tell him what she was thinking. He kissed her lips lightly then turned his attention back to the cell phone screen in his hand.

A woman sitting across from them was staring at Lucas.

Darn it, I know he's good looking but does she have to imagine him naked right in front of me?

An announcement was made about their flight, so Lucas raised his head up to look around the room. His eyes caught hold of the blonde bombshell in heels who was staring at him. This should be good. The blonde flashed a come-hither grin at him. His expression remained pleasant, but he gave her nothing.

Lucas turned to Faith, leaning into her slightly. "I need a kiss," he said.

Had he noticed the woman and this is his answer or is he clueless?

Faith leaned in and gave him what he had asked for.

Blondie's smile disappeared as her attention went to her cell phone.

Ha! Faith thought. Take that! Go find your own man, with those heels and short skirt. Shouldn't be too hard for you, you're gorgeous.

Lucas's attention went back to his phone as well.

Sex. Oh, crap. We're gonna have sex! He has experience, probably knows how to do it while hanging from the light fixtures. Me, I know how to lay there. Ugh. He's probably really looking forward to it. Me, I'm scared to death. My only sexual experience was totally horrible. I honestly don't know what all the sex hype is about.

She looked at him. He was so sexy.

Never mind, I get it.

Sex. Oh, crap. Only four weeks are separating the surgical removal of my girl parts and the Lucas-&-Faith-Sex-Fest. Is it going to hurt even worse this time? I don't want to cry; I don't imagine painful bawling during sex is very sexy to a man. It would make him feel horrible. Maybe it won't hurt. Maybe I won't have to cry. But... what if it's just... bad? What if... I'm bad? Of course, if it's bad it would be my fault. I'm sure he's extremely talented. What if I disappoint him so much he regrets marrying me? Oh gosh... no! What if that's the only reason he's marrying me, so we can have sex? He joked about it the day we got engaged, but what if... it's true? If he's disappointed in our sex, it would ruin the rest of his life!

She looked down at the ring on her finger and then at him as silliness for even considering that he was marrying her just for that washed over her.

He's a gorgeous guy so if all he cared about was sex, he'd be able to find that easily without agreeing to marry someone with my condition. In fact, he has an option right here across the aisle. Blonde bombshell sure looks willing. Maybe I should concede and just let them go at it like rabbits and live happily ever after. They could make lots of babies, or at least have fun trying.

Babies. Oh, crap! He really wants babies. Is it wrong for me to marry him knowing that? And then there's... my condition... ugh. Does he really know what he's getting into? Am I doing the right thing putting him in the position to have to worry about me for the rest of his life? His life in a nutshell after marrying me: a disappointing, potato-sack sex-life with a non-child-bearing crazy woman with insecurity issues. Yeah, that sounds fun.

Faith took a deep breath and sighed loudly.

He looked to her again. "You okay?"

"Just got crazy thoughts going through my head," she admitted.

He turned his phone screen off and tucked the phone in his pocket so he could pay attention to her instead of it. He sat back in his seat and asked her to tell him what types of crazy thoughts she was having.

"The devil. He's trying to ruin this for me. He's telling me you only want to marry me so we can have sex."

Lucas laughed loudly. "Yes, that's the kind of guy I am."

She laughed too, then continued, "He's making me wonder if you've really thought this thing through."

He let go of her hand and put his arm around her shoulder. "Here's what you need to do. Tell him the truth."

"And what's that?" she asked.

Lucas brought his lips close to her ear and whispered, "He's a liar."

She smiled.

"I want to marry you because I love you, and yes, I have thought through the whole thing. All of it. Every scenario that could present itself in our future, I have combed over it and prayed about it, and I can tell you with certainty that I'm all in."

She was touched. "Really?"

"Really," he answered. "So kick him out and smile."

She leaned into his shoulder. "Thank you." Faith glared at blondie, catching her taking another peek at Lucas.

He's mine, lady! See that? He wants to marry me even though I'm a certified nut job and I'm terrible in bed, ha!

She considered sticking her tongue out at blondie, but decided against it.

Boarding began, and they got to get on first since he had splurged for first class seating. They sipped champagne to the point of being a little tipsy on the plane, then they both took a nap. The connecting flight in Miami was a seamless transition, aside from the very flirty flight attendant on the second flight. Faith wasn't sure if Lucas was ignoring the vixen or if he was just clueless. Either way was fine with her. Before they knew it, they landed at their destination in Grand Cayman.

Their rental car was waiting for them at the airport entrance. Grand Cayman roads were opposite those of the United States, so there was a learning curve in not only driving the car from the left side but also driving the car on the left side of the road. Lucas handled the adjustment very well, and Faith was glad he was willing because she had no interest in attempting it. Just thinking about it made her brain hurt a little.

The Turtle Nest Inn was on a more remote part of the island. It was a long drive, but completely worth it. They weren't interested in the touristy stuff, as solitude was their goal... and from the looks of this place, that was just what they were going to get.

Their suite was a little apartment with one bedroom, a living room, a bathroom, and a small kitchen loaded with tons of amenities. The balcony provided an amazing ocean view. After unpacking, it was time to take a walk on the beach together.

As they walked, her mind began churning again... about sex. All the things she had tortured herself over earlier were plaguing her again. Finally, the worry took its toll. Her arm jerked. Darn it! I hope he didn't feel that. A few more steps down the beach it happened again.

She let go of his hand and rubbed her arm.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, probably just all the excitement." Why am I lying to him?

He took her hand back in his. "You wanna head back? I'll run you a hot bath."

"No. I like it out here. Let's keep walking."

It was beautiful! The sand was almost white and there were palm trees lining the beach. No one else around as the waves lapped the shoreline. She looked out to sea and saw some dark storm clouds. "Looks like it might rain on us... we should sit and watch the storm come in."

They sat down on the sand together to watch nature's show.

Her hand in his, her arm twitched again, and then her leg. She looked over at him as she played with the sand with her other hand.

"Really, Faith, are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry." She looked down at her fingers, fiddling with the sand.

"You never need to apologize. I want to take good care of you, and if you don't tell me what's going on in your head, I can't."

She gave him a small smile but didn't say anything.

"You're stressed about something. I can tell."

She scrunched her face. "Can't hide anything from you, can I?"

"Nope, and you shouldn't be trying to." He wagged his finger at her with a tsk.

She paused then admitted it. "I'm nervous... about sex."

"Why, sweetie?"

"A multitude of reasons." She laughed, completely embarrassed about it. "Shall I list them?"

"Yes. Please do. I don't want you to be nervous or afraid, I want you to be excited."

She nestled into him as they sat on the sand. His arms felt firm around her. There was such safety in those arms. "Reason one, you're going to see me naked for the first time. What if you don't like what you see?"

He laughed slightly. "I really don't think you need to worry about that. You're gorgeous to me. I can guarantee you I will love what I see. Men love naked. But I will love it all the more because it's you."

I'm so glad we are talking about this, she thought, even if it is silly.

She continued, "I don't know what I'm doing. What if I'm terrible and you're disappointed."

He chuckled. "I'm not laughing at you, sweetie, just so you know."

"I know."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes! I love you more than anything. I love you with all my heart," she replied emphatically.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes, fully!"

"Then you don't need to worry about that either. There is no right or wrong way, and we'll be figuring out what works for us together. I will take good care of you, I promise."

She closed her eyes, pressing her face into his chest.

"What else," he asked, kissing the top of her head.

"I don't know, I'm just nervous in general. We've waited so long and now I'm just scared because it's like it's on a schedule. Like a planned colonoscopy or something. It's an appointment instead of it being something that just happens naturally. Get married at 12:00, have sex at 12:30."

He laughed aloud. "Really? A colonoscopy? You couldn't think of anything else?"

"It's not funny!" But she laughed. It was hard not to. "Okay fine, a haircut."

"That's a little better," he said with a grin. "I understand what you're saying and I don't want you to feel like it's an appointment or something you have to do. So, let's take it off the schedule."

Releasing him, their eyes locked. "What?"

"After we get married, we'll just relax and see what happens. Maybe take a long walk on the beach or go eat. Whatever you want to do. No pressure." He kissed her hand. "Problem solved. Anything else?"

May as well tell him her last concern. "Afraid it's going to hurt, because of my surgery."

He took a deep breath. "Is this because of what I almost did?"

"No, not at all. My other time was really painful and surgery was worse. I'm scared four weeks wasn't enough."

"I promise I won't do anything that hurts you. That's the last thing I want. If it hurts, we stop. Period."

"You'd be so disappointed."

"We'll get there, babe. I'm not worried at all. I want you to feel safe, comfortable, and loved. And if sex doesn't make you feel that way, then we're doing it wrong."

She leaned her head into his and closed her eyes. "I love you. You're amazing."

"I know," he replied. He pulled her back into his chest and squeezed her. "Now just relax and know I love you. No more worry, no more stress, no more symptoms. Just enjoy life."

"Okay," she replied, holding on tightly. Soon, she started to stand up. "We should head back now. Maybe go to the grocery store."

He grabbed her hand, pulling her back towards him and tossed her on the sand. Rolling his body on top of her, he spoke, "Not so fast!"

Oh, that dimple, that smile.

"I want to remind you of why you should be excited. I have wanted to make love to you since the day I met you and I, for one, can't wait." He moved in slowly, kissing her excitedly.

She lost herself in the moment. His lips so soft, his tongue so tasty, his body heavy on her, but not too heavy. And his hips. Those glorious hips right where she liked them, pressing into her, stirring her emotions as well as her desires. No, this wasn't something to fear. Not at all. This was definitely a highlight of life. She moaned.

He raised himself up a little. "Still feeling scared?"

"Ummm. No. Feeling much better now."

"Good, my job here is done. That's all you get! Let's head back." He jumped up, holding his hand out to her.

"You're gonna leave a girl hanging like that?"

He answered proudly, "Yep!"

Taking his hand as if to stand up, she yanked hard, pulling him towards her. He lost his balance and fell into her. Just as planned! Another kiss began.

His mouth sank into hers as the rain made its way over them.

The light sprinkles were refreshing on her face. He looked into her eyes with a smile as it began to rain harder. It was much colder than they expected but it didn't stop their passion. Before long, they were both drenched and she began to shiver.

"Come on." He helped her to her feet and they ran down the beach hand in hand, heading back to their suite.

Once inside, their very wet clothing combined with the air conditioning made for a very frosty environment. He grabbed a towel for her, immediately wrapping it around her as she told him how cold she was. Her jaw began to chatter. The towel was a nice thought, but it didn't really help. What she needed to do was get out of her wet clothes.

Staring in his eyes, she dropped the towel. Her arms lifted her shirt over her head and drop... on the floor it went. "You're going to see me sooner or later, why not now?" Next were her shorts.

He stood there looking amazed as she stood before him in only her bra and underwear. "I just have to ask," he said, "do you wear that caliber of undergarments every day, or is this a special occasion?"

"Every day. You like them?"

"Just when I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world, you go and make me luckier. Yes, I like. I like them a lot." He bit his knuckle.

Grinning, she reached behind her back to unhook her bra. Next, she slowly removed her last piece of clothing... her underwear.

She stood in front of him completely naked for several moments before reaching for the towel he gave her. She wrapped it around herself.

Slowly stepping into her, he kissed her. She grabbed onto him as the towel fell to the floor again. His wet clothes against her made her start to shiver again so he stepped away, breaking their lips apart.

"I wish I could rip my clothes off right now and take you to bed, but we've waited this long. I think I can wait one more day." He picked the towel up off the floor and wrapped it around her gently. "Thank you for the preview."

She tucked it under her arms and closed the front, pursing her lips. "Do I look okay?"

"Oh, dear Lord, yes! You look more than okay. You look amazing. I'm seriously the luckiest man on the planet to have you and that body willing to marry me. I think I need some raisins."

Oh, thank the good Lord. Total relief washed over her as she giggled. "Well, we better go to the grocery store to get you some raisins then."

Once dry and dressed, they headed to the only grocery store on that side of the island. They got everything they needed for the next few days, planning to eat in, guessing their interests would be focused on indoor activities.

Dinner passed, and then a movie on the couch. Soon it was time for bed. They had never spent the night together before, very much on purpose. They both knew if they did, it would be hard to stick to their no sex commitment. This night was going to be challenging.

They considered splitting up, him on the couch and her on the bed, but decided neither of them would get much sleep. Instead, they crawled into bed together, making a promise not to kiss. Not even once. They wrapped their arms around each other and just held on. Sleep came eventually, for both of them.

SATURDAY, DAY 93

HER EYES FLUTTERED open. Waking up in his arms was a dream come true. His lips pressing against her forehead made it real.

"Happy wedding day." His voice alone made her heart flutter.

She couldn't contain her smile. "I don't know what I'm going to do with myself until noon."

"You can stay right here with me and tell me how sexy I am and how glad you are you're about to hitch yourself to my wagon."

She laughed at his choice of words. "What is this, the old west?"

"Oh, how I love the sound of your laugh." He kissed her hard. "I suppose this is as good a time as any to tell you a little secret I've been keeping from you."

She shot up in bed looking down at him. "What? You're keeping a secret from me?"

He pinched his fingers together. "Just a little one."

She grabbed her pillow and smacked him with it. He blocked it with his arm. "It's nothing bad. It's just something... I told myself I would only share with you if I ever ended up lucky enough to marry you. And here we are."

"We aren't married yet."

"Okay, I'll just wait then." He turned away from her slightly.

"No! You have to tell me now!"

He laid back, arm behind his head. "I hope you find this sweet and not... creepy."

"Oh, please, you don't have a creepy bone in your body, Lucas."

"So, you know the day we met? The most wonderful day of my life?"

"Yes, the most wonderful day of both of our lives. I recall it fondly. I really wanted to throw you down on my bed that night... but something stopped me. I wonder what life would have been like had I done it."

"I don't know, but I'm glad we waited. As hard as it's been, I'm glad."

"Me too." She laughed, thinking about how into each other they had been the moment they met. "Back to your secret, do tell."

"Well, the night we met... it wasn't... the first time I saw you," he admitted shyly.

Her eyes widened and her chin went down. "What do you mean?"

He squinted slightly, as though nervous to explain. "I had actually seen you at the pizza place six months earlier... in the summer."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I saw you and thought you were so beautiful. I wanted to talk to you right then but I just couldn't. You left and I kicked myself for letting you walk away from me."

She was shocked. He saw me?  "Really?" Her head tilted.

He nodded. "I dreamt about you, a lot."

She pushed him lightly. "Shut up!"

He nodded again. "I started going there every Friday night just on the off chance I'd see you again, but each week was a disappointment. No you."

"No way."

"The night we met was going to be my last try. If I didn't see you, then I was going to give up because I really don't like their pizza very much."

Her hand went over her heart. "You're like my very own tall, sexy, handsome stalker. That's so sweet."

He laughed. "I was so relieved when you said you'd left your wallet at home because I had no idea how I was going to make myself meet you."

"I thought I was completely invisible that night."

"Not to me," he said. "So, do you still want to marry me now that you know my secret?"

She laid herself on his chest, looking into his eyes. "Nothing could stop me." She kissed his lips lightly. "I think your secret is really sweet, and it makes me feel even luckier. God works in mysterious ways, and He did a lot of planning to get us together. I feel blessed." She listened to the beat of his heart. "Thank you for telling me. It means a lot to me."

He ran his fingers through her hair. "You mean a lot to me. You always have and you always will. No matter what the future brings." He paused. "I have a confession."

"Another one?"

"Yes, you aren't the only one who's a bit nervous about our first time."

Surprise covered her face. "What do you have to be nervous about?"

His face showed some embarrassment. "Well, you've been torturing me sexually for three months now."

"Torturing?" she shouted, playfully slapping his shoulder.

"In a good way."

"Ha!"

"I suppose I'm nervous our first time might disappoint you. It won't be my best work, I can promise you that."

She shook her head, feeling amused. "I don't think you could disappoint me."

"Well, I won't last very long, and I don't want you to think that's the way it will always be. Pleasuring you is of utmost importance to me, and I don't think I'm going to be able to do that, not the first time. Oh, but the second time... watch out!"

"Duly noted," she replied with a smirk. "No need to be nervous. I understand your special circumstances with me torturing you and all." She lifted her head, bringing her lips to his. Their kiss was light, just lips touching with emotion driving them. Another kiss started, this time their lips opened and they breathed each other in fully.

She stopped abruptly. "I have something to tell you too."

His face showed shock.

"I got you a wedding present, but don't get too excited."

Laughter confirmed he knew exactly what she meant.

"While I did get it for you, it does belong to me. Plus... I'm not going to give it to you. You're going to have to find it on your own. It's hidden."

"Oh, this sounds intriguing. I will definitely keep my eyes peeled."

He moved in, tilting his head sideways to kiss her as deeply as he could. Quickly, her body heated up, tingling at the thought that later that day they weren't going to have to refrain from going too far. They would be able to do whatever they wanted, and it would be legal, morally responsible, and totally safe.

Noon finally arrived. They stood on the beach with the pastor of a local church and two people they didn't know as witnesses. Faith had on a white eyelet sundress she had purchased just for the occasion. Her long brown hair was down, blowing softly in the breeze. Lucas wore tan pants and her favorite fitted, black cotton shirt. She loved the way he looked in that shirt.

Soon it was time to begin. They stood facing each other hand in hand, both smiling as though it were impossible not to. His dimple had never been sexier and was driving her mad with desire.

The pastor began reading the ceremony, but it seemed to be taking forever. Finally, he got to the good stuff.

"Lucas, do you take--"

Lucas interrupted immediately, "I do!"

Faith laughed at him for cutting it short.

The pastor smiled. "Okay, moving on. Faith, do you--"

Faith interrupted just as Lucas had, "I do!"

"You guys are making my job easy today," the pastor said with a grin. "Do we have rings or do you want to skip that too?"

"No, we have rings." Lucas took the rings from his pocket and handed them to the pastor.

The pastor blessed the rings, then handed Faith's ring to Lucas telling him to put it on her finger and say, "With this ring, I marry you, Faith."

He did so with a smile.

Then it was Faith's turn. She laughed, having trouble getting the ring past Lucas' knuckle.

After the "I do's" were said and the rings were on the proper fingers, all that was left was the kiss. "All right, you may kiss your bride, Lucas."

Lucas stepped into her and put his hands to the sides of her face. "You ready to make this official?"

"Born ready," she replied.

"Just so you know, this is forever... till death do us part... no matter what. I won't ever give up, no matter what happens. Forever."

She nodded, showing her appreciation of his intention to never give up on her, even in the worst-case scenario.

He brought his lips to hers. The kiss was slow and sweet, making her heart float within her chest. He finished with a small kiss to her lips then looked at her. "Now... you're mine."

"And you are mine," she replied.

And it was done.

They signed some papers, paid the pastor, and then were free to do whatever they wanted for the rest of the day... and week.

He told her to sit down, right there in the sand, and he would be right back. She watched him head off towards the Inn. When he was gone, she turned to watch the waves. It was gorgeous. And she couldn't believe they were finally married. She didn't feel any different, but she hadn't thought she would. Her finger sparkled with the beautiful engagement ring and now the wedding band with inset diamonds next to it. Closing her eyes, she bowed her head in prayer, thanking the Lord for giving her so much. She felt completely unworthy of this kind of happiness and she was humbled by its reality.

Lucas returned with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. He sat down next to her and popped the bottle open.

"I see, you're gonna get me drunk so you can have your way with me."

He gave her a sly grin. "Oh, I'll have my way with you... but I don't need to get you drunk. I just have to smile at you a certain way, then give you the right kind of kiss, and you'll be begging for me."

"Very true."

He knows exactly what makes me tick.

He handed her a glass of champagne and held his up to hers. "To us... together forever."

"Yes, forever."

They both sipped, and then they kissed each other.

They sat on the beach together watching the waves and enjoying their champagne.

"Lucas, you do realize there's a possibility that I won't always be so together, right? I could--"

He interrupted her, "Become catatonic. Yes. I know."

They looked at each other. "I give you permission to move on with your life if that happens. I want you to be happy, Lucas. I don't want you sitting around waiting for something that might not happen."

He shook his head. "Nope." He held his hand up and pointed to his ring. "Forever. Till death do us part."

"And I thought I was the stubborn one."

"Perhaps you've rubbed off on me," he replied. "If something happens, and you're in there fighting, I want you to know without doubt that I'm waiting for you on the other side. But I don't want to talk about what ifs. All you need to know is that I've thought through everything and I'm at peace. So you should be too." He smiled just the way she loved, showing his dimple. "I would like to kiss you now."

His assault on her was beginning. First, the smile. Now, with just the right kiss... she knew she would be begging him to take her to bed in only a matter of minutes.

Her heart pounded in her chest, nervous but also excited. "Maybe we should head back to our suite before you start tempting me with your excellent kissing skills. I would hate to start something here we wouldn't be able to finish."

"That is an excellent point," he said. "We could just go for a walk if you want."

She shook her head. "No way. I want what you want."

"Raisins?"

She nodded, bringing her face to his. She meant for it to be just a simple kiss, but it didn't end there. Another started as soon as the first was over, but the second one was far from simple. Something came over both of them at nearly the same exact time and their kiss just wasn't sufficient anymore. He took a deep breath as he started a third kiss.

A sigh escaped her and he pulled away abruptly. "We need to relocate. I've told you this before, but that sound you make... it is by far the sexiest thing I have ever heard... and I'm feeling tortured!"

Jumping to her feet, she teased, "Then come on, slowpoke. Why are you making me wait?"

He got up, took her hand in his, and they headed towards the Inn, almost running.

She opened the door to their room with the keycard and went in. He followed close behind her and closed the door.

No words were needed as they kissed passionately, slowly walking towards the bedroom. She separated from him long enough to pull her sundress over her head and toss it to the floor. Back to his lips, her hand pushed his shirt up. He pulled it over his head.

She ran her fingers over his muscles. "This chest is divine. And it's all mine." Mouth to mouth again, they took a few more steps towards the bed.

He unhooked her bra with ease. Finally, their bare chests came together for the first time. "Speaking of divine chests, I've been waiting to meet these girls for quite some time."

"They are pleased to make your acquaintance."

She unbuttoned his khakis. He removed them and then laid her back on the bed, placing himself on top of her. Her legs wrapped around him immediately.

He looked into her eyes. "You doing okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. You?"

"I'm excellent," he replied, making her smile widen. Kisses began again, this time more sweetly. She could tell he'd shifted gears to be gentler in order to appease her nerves.

She reached down to push his boxer briefs off. He took over, removed them, and came back to her with more kisses. She felt his hand pull her underwear and she gave him the green light by helping him.

We're naked, she thought, totally and completely naked. I love him so much. Why am I so nervous? This is a natural part of life and love. We've done this the way it was meant to be done. God approves, so why am I still so anxious?

Their lips separated as he looked around her face. "I don't want to do anything that will hurt you so you let me know, okay?"

She nodded as her heart pounded in her chest like never before.

"Are we okay?"

She nodded and then felt his body come together with hers as he very carefully began making love to her. Total discomfort with a sharp soreness shot through her.

He stopped. "I'm sorry, sweetie."

"No, it's okay. Don't stop."

"You sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

He continued slowly.

The pain persisted for a moment, scaring her a little, but then gradually melted away.

"You okay?" he asked quietly with his lips hovering over hers. Just the sound of his voice was comforting.

She nodded again.

They watched each other closely as he continued slowly and carefully. "I love you so much." His eyes closed. "Oh, Faith, you feel so good. It's amazing. Better than I ever imagined."

Her heart became overwhelmed as a new type of pleasure washed over her. It was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. "I love you too," she replied, grabbing on to him and bringing her head up into his neck.

She felt his hand on the back of her head, holding her closely to him as he spoke, "Do you feel me? Do I feel good to you?"

"It feels incredible, Lucas." She brought her head back, wanting to look at him.

His lips went to hers and his tongue dove into her mouth, just as his body dove into hers. With every move he made, the pleasure increased. The tingle of delight she was enjoying changed into a full body thrill with each push of his body towards her. It pulsated up her spine as her heart floated and her head rushed with emotion for him.

His eyes opened, gasping. "I'm so sorry... I wish I could wait, I wish I could hold off, babe, but..."

Her hands went to his face. "It's okay. It's amazing. It's perfect. I understand."

With that, he closed his eyes again and then sighed. Pressing his face into the bed beside her, he exhaled and groaned in pure gratification. It was a sound she hoped to hear often and never grow tired of. Just knowing that her body created the sound he was releasing gave her a type of joy she had never experienced before. She squeezed him, leaning her head to his.

He fell still and silent.

That was the most amazing feeling I have ever felt in my life. I want more! Oh my goodness. I want so much more.

She turned her head towards his and kissed the side of his face. "I love you."

He lifted himself onto his forearms, meeting her eyes. "Oh, Faith, I love you too. More than you will ever understand. Thank you, that was amazing. I'm sorry..."

"No apologies. It was perfect."

"No, you are perfect. And it wasn't perfect... not until I hear you scream my name."

She grinned. "I don't really think I'm a screamer."

"You will be when I'm done with you!"

"Oh, really?" One eyebrow rose.

"Yes, really!"

"Hmmm. I can't imagine it, but if you say so."

His head turned to the side slightly. "Have you ever... had an orgasm?"

"I'm not sure."

He rolled to his side, staying close beside her. Propping himself up with his elbow, he reached for her hand.

She pulled the sheet up to cover her naked breasts.

"Oh, don't hide those from me. They're glorious."

She laughed, releasing the sheet to him. He pulled it down slightly, getting an eye full. "But seriously, you've never gotten yourself off or anything?"

"No, I don't do that."

His jaw dropped. "So, what I'm hearing is... you've never felt the most incredible feeling in the world? Ever?"

"Well, what we just did was the best I've ever felt. Does it get better than that?"

His eyes wide, he leaned in with a chuckle, getting ready to kiss her. "Oh, Faith, you have no idea." He kissed her passionately.

She stopped him, hand to his chest. "How will I know if it happens?"

"Oh, you'll know, my sweet. You'll know. Trust me." He nestled into her lips, giving her a sweet kiss. "I will be right back, okay?"

Oh, crap, where is he going? Was he disappointed?

"Relax, sweetie. No need to panic. I'm just going to get some water for us. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." His hand slid down the side of her face. "You are amazing." Another kiss, and then he got out of bed.

She watched him walk away.

What an incredible rear he has. I mean, I figured it was nice but dag. That is model material.

She threw herself backwards on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Her body ached slightly from what they had just done.

I hope he wasn't disappointed. I hope he doesn't regret marrying me.

A few moments later, he returned with a large glass of water. "We're going to need this." He crawled under the covers, taking hold of her body and immediately hovering over her. "You are so damned beautiful." His lips went to hers as she giggled, wrapping her arms around him. "I have so much more to show you."

"Can't wait."

He lunged at her mouth.

His chest flattened hers out as he smoothed his body up hers. She felt his hardness on her thigh. Oh, how I want him again. I need him. She spread her legs, allowing his body to drop down between them.

He raised his body up above hers, arms straight, looking down. With a hip adjustment, he found what he was looking for and went for it.

Her eyes closed with the feeling of him becoming one with her. Every move he made bringing his body to hers made her gasp a little more. Her eyes opened to find he was watching her. He grinned and lowered his body down to kiss her. "How's my beautiful wife doing?"

I'm his wife. He's my husband. We're making love and it feels fantastic. I'm the luckiest woman alive.

"Your wife is excellent. How's my husband?"

His mouth covered hers as his rhythm increased slightly. Her body went along with his, intensifying every move, every tingle, every nerve. "Your husband has seriously never been better in his life. Ever." He kissed her neck.

"Good to know. What can I do to make him better?"

Raising his head to look into her eyes, he reached down, pulling her leg up to his side, and held it there. He pushed himself as close to her as he could, then went just a little further. "You can't make me better. This is as good as it gets. Amazing."

They were completely connected and more than just physically. They were emotionally and spiritually connected as well.

"I don't know why I was so scared. I trust you fully, and this feels absolutely incredible."

He straightened his arms again as he changed his thrusting to a more forceful approach. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to bring you pure satisfaction."

She got into rhythm with him, bringing her body to his with each stroke. The pleasure intensified.

He placed his hand under her, tilting her hips slightly, guiding their stride.

She whispered with her eyes closed, "Oh, Lucas, I've never felt anything like this before. Please don't stop."

"I'm not going to stop until you scream my name." He released her rear. "Keep your body right there, baby. Don't change a thing." He took both of her hands in his, sinking his fingers between hers, and held her arms down. "Just relax and let me have you. All of you. Every inch of you."

She pressed her lips together, looking into his eyes. "Oh, Lucas, you have me."

"Yes, I do. And I'm never giving you up." He kissed her as he drove himself into her even more vigorously.

Oh, dear Lord, she thought. I feel overtaken by him. I surrender control of my entire being to him, and I will continue to do so as long as he can make me feel like this.

Suddenly, something different came over her. Her breathing quickened and everything in her started to rise. She wanted her hands free to place them on his sides, but he held them down.

He looked into her eyes, released her hands, and placed his on the bed beside her, lowering his body closer to her. She grabbed onto him and brought her body towards his, raising her chest up off the bed into him. He wrapped his arm around her back. She tightened her abs and the tiny tingle that had begun deep in her core grew feverishly. With every movement of his body, the flame of desire was fanned.

The intense fire built momentum until its frenzy was too hot to touch, raging so ravenously there was no stopping it. Her body filled with a brilliant heat that fluttered wildly throughout her, teasing her on the edge of delight until finally, all the yearning and excitement she could ever imagine bound together, culminating in rapture-filled ecstasy. Her lips opened and she breathed his name, "Oh, Lucas." She arched her back, throwing her head backwards as she lost herself in a moment of complete pleasure, doing exactly what he said she would... she shouted his name in the throes of this awe-inspiring sexual arc.

Her exclamation brought a satisfied grin to his face, but he wasn't done yet.

The intense sensation began to pass gradually. Her body began to relax; arched back lowering, eyes opened and fixed on the man who had brought her to a place she had never visited before, a place she hoped to return to often. Every muscle in her body went weak and she felt as though she could collapse.

He whispered, "I told you you'd know, and I told you you'd scream my name."

She laughed slowly, catching her breath. "Yes, I'll have another please. That was... astonishing."

He brought his lips to hers and kissed them. "We aren't quite done yet, Mrs. Anderson. Do you think you can handle more?"

Some of her strength returned so she grabbed onto him. "I can handle whatever you want to give me, Mr. Anderson."

"Sweetie, I've got so much to give you, it's gonna take a lifetime."

"Yes, please," she replied with a very satisfied smile.

He slowed things down. He went deep and remained there, only moving slightly.

A different sensation came to her. "Oh, Lucas, it's sensational. You feel amazing," she told him as she closed her eyes involuntarily. "Please tell me you feel it too."

"I do. I've never felt better, Faith. Never. And it's all because of you." He continued his small, deep movements breathing her in.

She took a lesson from him, tilting her hips into him slightly. And there it was, he was touching something deep inside her that had never been touched before. Each time he collided with that tiny spot, she felt a luxurious nudge--towards what she wasn't sure, but she had a feeling it would be something worth waiting for.

Nudge. Oh yes. Don't stop.

Nudge. Holy Lord, it feels like heaven.

Nudge. I'm close to needing to scream.

Nudge. Hanging... on... the... edge...

Nudge. That's it, one more time...

Nudge...

She reared up as pure bliss pulsed through her body. She spoke involuntarily, having no idea if she made sense or not. One thing she did know for sure, he was right there with her. He buried his head in her hair and gasped right before repeating the same sounds of release he had made earlier. Heavenly. The conclusion stretched out steadily as they yielded to each other in a way they never had before.

Their bodies became still as they breathed together. He kissed the side of her face as she relaxed her upper body. He lifted himself slightly, looking down at her. "You're flushed."

"I wonder why."

Proudly, he grinned then kissed her lips lightly.

He rolled over onto his back, catching his breath. "Come here." He brought her to his chest.

His heart was beating fast. What a man he was... flesh and blood, real, strong, passionate, sensitive at times, and damn he was good in bed. Bravo, Lucas. Bravo.

They enjoyed their wedding bed until five o'clock that evening, when dinner called to them. They chose a romantic restaurant on the water, requesting a table on the open porch. The sun was beginning to set as they were seated at their table.

She watched him as he ordered a bottle of wine from the waitress. Her heart fluttered in her chest just at his sight.

I need to touch him, she thought. Oh my goodness... I'm too far away. I can't even believe what he's done to me. Those feelings he's given me, the chills and the glory. Oh, heavens, he's too far away!

He saw her staring and stretched out his legs towards her while he perused the menu.

He was spinning his wedding ring on his finger with his thumb.

"Is it bothering you?"

He looked up at her and she pointed to his ring.

"I've never worn a ring before. It just feels strange." He reached across the table for her left hand and she gave it to him. "Yours look beautiful on you. You're not allowed to take them off... ever."

She grinned as she held his hand in hers. "I wouldn't think of it."

Holding her hand, his eyes went back to the menu. She continued to watch him, unable to look away.

Gorgeous. His brown hair and hazel eyes brighten my world. So masculine but also patient and sweet when he needs to be. Like in bed, so sweet.

Excitement coursed through her as she thought of making love to him again. It occurred to her that she wasn't aware of any huge flaws. He was by no means perfect... but what were his flaws? He'd either done an amazing job hiding them or he truly didn't have many. Now they would be living together, she was sure they would come forward.

"What do you think our first fight will be about?" she asked.

He looked up at her with a grin. "I don't fight. I discuss. I imagine you're a fighter, a loud fighter."

He was correct. "What makes you say that?"

"Just a hunch," he replied and released her hand as the waitress appeared to take their order.

Faith had no idea what to order since she had spent the entire time staring at him. Looking down, she pointed at the first thing that caught her eye.

They sipped their wine together. "I'm a fighter and you're a discusser, so I'm going to guess our first fight will be about how to fight properly."

He chuckled. "Maybe we should set the ground rules for our fights now to avoid that fight."

"Good idea." He is a discusser.

"I'll tell you this," he said. "I don't yell unless I'm extremely mad, and if you get me there, you'll probably want to hide for a little bit. Remember that day at your apartment after you wrote me that letter?"

"Oh yes. It's permanently fused into my brain."

He flushed with embarrassment. "Sorry about that... that is a glimpse into my worst state of being. I usually do a lot of thinking instead of reacting though, so I can respond instead of overreacting to things that are upsetting to me. I'll most likely be quiet, which will probably make you think I'm not listening or that I don't care, but I assure you, I am and I do."

"Good to know." She sipped her wine again, ready to tell him her style in the argument arena. "I'm more of an over-reactor." She laughed, as he was already aware of that. "I do get loud, and I rush to judgment. I make decisions based on emotion unfortunately, so... I'm not always super rational when I'm upset. But I'm not mean and I don't attack or say things I might regret. I've been with people who do that, and it's very difficult to get past."

"I too have been with someone who did that, and you're right, it is hard to get past. Typically, I don't do that either."

"Maybe we'll get lucky and we'll never fight!" she said jokingly. "I'll give you a tip though, if you want it."

"Sure. I'll take all the help I can get."

"Don't ever call me crazy when I'm mad. If you do, you truly will see crazy. That's what happened the day you sent me flowers. I kinda lost my mind."

Lucas reached across the table and took her hand again. "I would never call you that anyway, so you don't have to worry. I don't see you that way at all. I don't even like it when you say it about yourself, but I've told you that."

"What ended up happening with the flower shop anyway? How mad were you? I'm curious."

He let go of her hand and sat back in his chair with a grin. "I was pretty mad. Let's just say Mr. Tiedall had to find a new job, and I got free flowers for a year."

She laughed. "Who are you sending all these free flowers to? I haven't gotten any."

"Oh, you will!"

Their food came as the sun was just hitting the horizon. The beauty of the golden colors turning to pinks and reds awed her. It was a perfect moment, one she hoped to remember forever. She thought the memory of that sunset would be an excellent memory marker for her should she need something to focus on in her mind someday. She committed it right at that moment.

"Here's how I imagine an argument happening with us," Lucas said as he put his napkin in his lap. "You yell for a little while, I listen but don't say anything, you get mad because you think I don't care, you yell some more, I walk away, you get madder because you think I don't care, you yell more, I finally start to get mad because you won't let me have my space... I finally yell very loudly, maybe slam my hand against something, you cry, I feel bad for making you cry and try to take it back, we make up having some really hot sex... then nothing gets resolved."

She laughed loudly. "Sounds about right."

"Let's make a deal," he requested.

"Okay."

"I think we can avoid that ugly mess if we just try to understand each other's personality better. I'll let you yell... you let me be silent... we give it a little time then we discuss calmly. Of course, we can still have the really hot make-up sex... But if we do it my way, things will get resolved instead of building up. What do you say?" He squinted hopefully.

"I will do my best. But I have one more thing to add."

"What's that?"

"Never go to bed mad."

He smiled. "Agreed."

They toasted to it as an official agreement.

A band began playing in the bar area of the restaurant while they were eating their dinner.

Oh, how I love the sound of live music outside with the ocean waves. What an absolutely magical day. It couldn't be better.

Lucas excused himself from the table to go to the restroom, leaving her to take in the breezy moment alone. She took a deep breath and looked out to sea as the sun disappeared before her.

Soon she felt a tap on her shoulder. Looking, Lucas stood holding his hand out to her. "You have to dance with me," he said. "I made a special request."

The song he had requested started. I'm Yours by Jason Mraz.

He led her to the dance floor where a few other couples were already dancing. He wrapped himself around her as they danced close.

She listened to the lyrics, him looking deep into her eyes.

He mouthed the words at one point as if he was saying it directly to her.

It's our God forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved.

I won't hesitate, no more, no more, it cannot wait, I'm sure.

There is no need to complicate, our time is short, this is our fate, I'm yours

She smiled at him, leaning her head into his.

Yes, she thought. It is everyone's right to be loved, even mine! I never believed that before now. The good Lord knew I needed this love and He gave me this amazing man. Thank you, God, for making him willing, keeping him from hesitating, keeping him from wanting to wait, for making him want me even though our time might be short. Thank you, Lord, for giving me this fate. I am certainly his.

Just then, Lucas whispered in her ear with a kiss, "I'm yours... I love you."

"And I'm yours. I will love you always, Lucas."

Their lips met and they ended up kissing until the song was over, then stood there still for a moment, head to head.

The band began another song, a fast one, so he led her back to the table.

He had her full attention again, her legs searched for his under the table and her eyes were on him. Finally, he noticed. "What's that pretty look for?"

She shrugged. "I'm just so happy. And I can't stop thinking about you... us... in bed. It's incredible. Everything inside me is just... awake and alive. All I have to do it look at you and I feel like we have this special secret no one else knows about. It's so intense and special. I love it!"

He showed her his dimple. "I'm thinking it might be time to get back, what do you say?"

"Yes, please," she answered without hesitation.

He quickly started looking for their waitress to settle the bill.

SUNDAY, DAY 94

THE SUNLIGHT AND ocean breeze woke her from a deep sleep. Their first night as a married couple had been wonderful, but not very restful. She slid over to the side of the bed, trying to rise without waking him. One of his t-shirts went over her head to drape her body. He smells delightful.

She closed the bedroom door almost all the way, wanting him to finish his restful sleep. He deserved it; he had worked hard making her feel amazing. After her first trip to O-land, they went out to dinner, after which, he took her back to the Land-of-O to go house hunting. Sometime in the wee-hours, they visited again, purchasing a vacation home they planned to visit often. Yes, amazing.

She started a pot of coffee, turned the radio on, and then searched the fridge for some fruit to cut up for breakfast. Midway through slicing a couple pineapples and a mango, she went to the sliding glass door in the living room and opened it to let in some fresh air. The sound of the ocean joined the music in the room. I couldn't be more at peace.

She realized her body felt different, just a little discomfort let her know they had been behaving like normal newlyweds. Smiling to herself as the thought of him making her feel wonderful captivated her.

A total shock hit her. Her brain spasmed with a shooting pain piercing her frontal lobe and she cried out, falling to her knees with the knife in her hand.

Lucas rushed in.

She was curled in a tight ball on the floor, holding her head in pain. He went right to her kneeling. "Faith, are you okay?"

She cried. "I didn't take my medicine last night. I forgot."

He got up quickly, returning with her pill case. "Yes, Saturday pills are still in here. Damn it! It's my fault, Faith. I'm so sorry." He got a glass of water from the tap then handed her the pills. After swallowing them, she grabbed hold of her head again.

He got her a wet washcloth and made her lay her head in his arms so he could place it on her forehead. He repeatedly told her he was sorry and told her to relax.

The pain started to subside so she was able to relax more, and she found herself almost completely limp in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie," he said.

"It's not your fault so stop saying that," she said drowsily. "I should have remembered."

She sat up on her own, took the washcloth off her head, and took a deep breath. "I'm so stupid sometimes," she growled.

"No, you aren't, we just forgot."

She snapped at him irritably. "It's not your job! You can't fix me!"

He put his hand on her hair to brush it away from her face. "I'm not trying to fix you, sweetie."

"Yes, you are! You think you can make everything right and you can't!" She was almost yelling.

He went silent.

She stood up slowly. "I made coffee." She wouldn't look in his eyes as she tried to return to normal. "I'm gonna go take a hot shower."

He didn't speak as she headed for the bathroom.

As she showered, remorse for snapping at him set in. He is so good to me, why did I get so mad? Then she realized... her words weren't just words said in aggravation, she meant them. He did try to fix everything for her and it wasn't appropriate. If she allowed this to continue, he would no doubt be hearing her snap quite often and that wasn't something she wanted. He needs to let me be responsible for me. I have to talk to him about it.

He was sitting on the couch in a t-shirt that she was particularly fond of when she came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Two cups of coffee sat steaming on the coffee table. Reading a magazine, he didn't look at her.

She sat down next to him. Still no recognition of her, oh, but he was surely aware of her presence. "I'm sorry for what I said. I know you're just trying to help."

"Uh huh," he replied aloofly, still looking at his article.

She wasn't quite sure what to say next, but the one thing she was sure of was that she wanted his attention. "Are you mad?"

"Uh huh," he replied again and turned the page.

Oh no. I upset him. I'm a jerk.

"Okay, I guess I'll leave you alone then. I'm sorry." She stood up and started for the bedroom.

"I'll forgive you right now if you drop the towel and bring me my coffee," he said jovially, looking past his magazine with one eyebrow raised.

She stopped in her tracks and met his eyes. Was he just teasing me about being upset? She glared. "Counteroffer... you lose the shirt, I keep the towel, you forgive me because you're not even mad at me to begin with, and you bring me my coffee."

He grunted. "There is nothing in that deal for me! Counteroffer... you drop the towel, I pretend to forgive you because you're right... I'm not even really mad. And we forget the coffee all together because we won't need it for what I have in mind."

She smiled slightly, enjoying this banter in the wake of what could have been an argument. "Final offer... we forget the coffee, you lose the shirt and the boxers, I drop the towel, and you meet me in the bedroom. Now."

He thought for a moment. "Deal!" He stood up and pulled his shirt over his head.

She dropped her towel.

"Damn, you're fine," he said as he quickly grabbed hold of her naked body, picking her up and carrying her to the bed.

"You haven't lived up to your side of the deal. I'm the only one who's fully naked," she said as he laid her back.

"I'm working on it, woman, patience."

She laughed aloud. He was so good at that. Turned out, he was good at a lot of things. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I've already forgotten about it, my sweet!"

They made love for a long while, longer than they had before, and she loved every minute of it. Having his full attention, mind, body and soul, made her happy to be alive in a way she had never felt before. It was heaven. Pure heaven.

Afterwards, she lay staring at the ceiling, fully aware of his gaze.

He reached over. "Seriously, the most gorgeous woman I have ever met."

She giggled and then looked at him.

He seemed to remember something important. "Wait a minute. Where is this wedding present you got for me that isn't really mine?"

Completely naked, she rolled onto her belly, giving him a sexy, sly grin. "It's not my fault you haven't been paying attention. Trust me, you've been all over it since about twelve-thirty yesterday."

He squinted. "What the heck is it? I promise you, I've been looking. Can you give me a hint?"

"I'm giving you a hint right now." Her smile grew as she kicked her legs slightly.

His eyes caught hers and he became distracted. "You have an amazing body, my dear." His eyes began to cast down the length of her body. She watched them go down slowly. Neck, shoulders, back, small of her back, her rear, upper legs. His eyes paused then went back up her body. Completely shocked he spoke, "Faith, you never told me you had a tattoo!"

Her smile went crooked.

"How could you not tell me that? You don't really seem like the tattoo type."

Another giggle.

He dove towards it to see what it was. "Holy hell, Faith. I can't believe what I'm seeing."

Her grin could not be contained. "Do you like it?"

His eyes went to hers after running his fingers over the words permanently affixed to the small of her back. Property of Lucas Anderson "Are you kidding me? I freaking love it. When did you do that?"

She shrugged. "The idea popped into my head after the letter incident. You were so intent on me being yours that day, I figured I'd remove all doubt."

He quickly kissed her. "You're the best."

"No, you are. And I am yours, all of me... forever."

"Did it hurt?"

Her eyes widened. "Hell yes! But I didn't mind."

"Aw," he went to it and kissed it, making her squirm a little. "I'll make you feel all better." After a few kisses he turned his attention back to her eyes. "Thank you, Faith. That was really sweet and I love it. I can tell you really understand me and the way my mind works. It means a lot to me."

They sat on the balcony happily eating breakfast together.

He looked out at the ocean. "I've thought a bit about what you said. About me trying to fix you."

"Yeah, I have too."

"I think you have a valid point."

She was surprised he agreed.

"Me saying everything is okay, doesn't make it that way, and I think if I were you, I might get a little annoyed with me too, because I do try to fix things for you. You've been on your own for a long time and the fact is you don't need me. I want you to need me, but you're a strong woman, which is one of the reasons I love you."

She smiled.

"I have this need for you to need me though, and I guess I have to figure out how to balance that while allowing your independence. I don't want to stifle you so... I'm the one who is sorry."

She got up and sat on his lap, looking him in the eyes. "But I do need you. I may not need you for some things, like taking my medicine or dealing with the way people treat me. But I do need you in lots of other ways. I need you to take care of me when I can't take care of myself. I need you to be there to help me escape. I need your arms around me to make me feel safe and loved. I need your kisses to fill up my heart. See, I need you plenty."

He nodded.

"But... I will say that if you try to be in control of the things I can handle myself, you will drive me a little nuts."

He laughed. "Fair enough. Do me a favor and let me know if you need me to back off, and I'll work on trying to achieve that balance. Okay?"

"Absolutely. And I'll try not to snap at you. You don't deserve that."

He nestled in for a kiss. "I've never been happier, Faith. We are going to have an amazing life together."

An amazing life together. Yes...we...are.

SATURDAY, DAY 100

IT WAS HARD to leave paradise, especially the bed they shared, but it was time to get back to the real world and officially start their lives together. Once on the ground in Wisconsin, he asked her if it was okay for them to stop by their new house, just to make sure everything was okay there. She didn't think anything of it, so off they went.

When they pulled into the driveway, she was surprised by what she saw. Her parents, Lucas's mom and sister, and a bunch of their friends were waiting on the front porch. Faith looked at him, knowing he had planned yet another surprise for her.

While on their trip, Lucas had arranged for their things to be moved into the house for them. It was another way for him to reduce the stress in her life. In addition, he knew she would want to celebrate their wedding with the people closest to them, so he thought a welcome home party would be a good way to accomplish that.

As they walked towards the front porch, she felt completely blessed in every way. She had a husband who loved her, an amazing sex life that had happened exactly the way it should have, supportive family and friends, and a God who had answered her every prayer in ways she never could have fathomed on her own. Life was more than good in that moment, even with OSP. She looked into Lucas's eyes and thanked God for giving her exactly what He knew she needed.
About the Author

Wendy Stenzel Oleston currently lives in Janesville, Wisconsin, with her husband Ryan, and their two children, Brett and Caroline. She is a very proud recovering alcoholic who thanks God every day for the freedom she has found through Him. Wendy has a very specific goal in her writing: to give something of value to the world instead of taking something valuable away.

Wendy is a digital designer and enjoys running. She loves to travel and has been all over the world. She is a dynamic public speaker and welcomes any opportunity to share her life story with those willing to listen.

www.wendyoleston.com

Friend her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/wendy.oleston

Wendy welcomes contact from her readers:   
wendy@wendyoleston.com
Other Books  
By  
Wendy Stenzel Oleston

Standalone:

As Is

Little Black Dress:  
A short story in the Birds of Passage Anthology

Fruit of the Vine Series:

Seeds
Wendy's Next Book  
Conceptions

Sex is fun. Everyone is doing it... right? The church says to wait for marriage, but why? Parents say don't do it... you might get pregnant and then you'll be in trouble... leaving young ladies in total fear when it actually happens. So, what happens when the truth of an unplanned pregnancy enters the life of a young lady due to premarital sex? The answer is... a lot.

Take a journey with three young ladies forced to face the reality of a pregnancy they didn't plan.

Three young ladies... Shanna, Joni, & Tabitha

Three different choices... Abortion, Adoption, & Parenting

The amazing thing the reader will discover with this book is that even though there are three very different choices... there is not one perfect answer. Each choice comes with extremely similar baggage to carry for a lifetime.
Coming Soon From Wendy

Degrees of Discernment Series:

Above 60  
2016

360 Degrees  
2016

Fruit of the Vine Series:

Conceptions  
2016

Prunings: Thinning Black and White to Gray  
The Continuation of Cory and Shanna's Story  
2016

Pruning: Hard Cuts  
The Continuation of Holden, Joni, and Blaine's Story  
2016

Pruning: Transplanting Roots  
The Continuation of Lawrence and Tabitha's Story  
2016
