[SIGHS]
You know, if there's one thing the internet needs, it's about 20 to 30 more hot takes
on why the new Ghostbusters no one's seen is bad.
Oh, wait, what's this?
[DRAMATIC STING]
Oh, it's a Davis Aurini video.
I said I wouldn't do any more stuff about him, because people who focus on the same thing over and over are really weird, you know?
You know, I just realized I *am* really weird.
Plus, I've been looking for an excuse to open the vodka.
As they say in Russia...
"Nazdarovya, SJWs."
♪♪
That's right— when he's not busy diagnosing his former business partners with serial killer,
or acting entitled to other alt-righters as they try to distance themselves from him,
Davey Reeny has some deep, analytical thoughts
about a Ghostbusters film he hasn't seen!
I wonder what amazing insights he'll bring to the table. Let's check it out, shall we?
DAVEY REENY: "The problem with Ghostbusters 2016
is that the main cast is all female."
You've gotta love the guy's honesty!
AURINI: "The reason Ghostbusters doesn't work with a female cast
is because at the core, it is a male story."
Yeah, only men can hunt for ghosts. I'm sure he's about to justify this.
AURINI: "Now, I'd like to step back for a moment..."
No, he just leaves it hanging! Okay.
Davis then goes into detail about how the term "strong female character" is a misnomer, because women are less physically strong than men.
AURINI: "Strength— physical strength—
is one of the defining aspects of masculinity.
When you contrast the sexes, there's no contest."
Ignoring for a moment that the Ghostbusters' physical strength has never been one of their central characteristics—
in fact, they're mostly characterized as science nerds.
"I collect spores, molds & fungus."
AURINI: "The average man is stronger than 95% of women.
This is why I find the phrase 'strong female characters' so interesting.
It sets women up to fail, competing in an arena where men are the superior sex."
And as we all know, that's the only definition of "strong" there is. There's no alternative meanings.
Dictionaries are part of the reptilian agenda to make people understand what words mean!
AURINI: "Or, it requires that they be 'empowered' by the director,
who winds up giving superhuman abilities to 120-pound Scarlett Johansson.
This results in cognitive dissonance for the audience."
[SNICKERS]
That's right, cognitive dissonance.
Davis has finally done it! After years of testing,
he's finally found the most unbelievable, unrealistic member of the Avengers—
THE WOMAN.
And as we know, presenting women as strong and good at fighting is a recipe only for box office disas—
[HORNS.AIFF]
See? She's weak! So she, like all weak fools, has to compensate by using a gu—
[HORNS.AIFF, AGAIN]
AURINI: "Someone who's strong is someone who's powerful, but strength isn't the only form of power.
In Game of Thrones, neither Tyrion nor Varys are strong physically,
and yet both of them are powerful and admirable despite physical weakness."
Ah, I see. Davis finally recognizes that the term "strong" has multiple meanings.
You can be "strong" without being physically strong.
But... Wait a second.
If— If you don't have to be physically strong to be "strong", why do you have to be male?
AURINI: "Men are good at some things; women are good at different things."
What are women good at? Davis doesn't say here,
but I think he addressed this in his Star Wars article.
"WOMEN BLEED ON THE BIRTHING BED"
This short documentary is pretty hilariously self-defeating,
but it's not quite perfect, because it's mostly still images interspersed with footage borrowed from someone else's music video.
It's lacking what most of the rest of his videos have; namely, a long uncut shot of Davis
gesticulating to the camera while pretending to sip his whiskey every time he thinks he's made a hot take,
or needs to stop to think of what he's going to say next.
"Why is it a problem now?"
[OBNOXIOUS LIP SMACKING]
For someone who manages to never go 30 seconds without taking a sip, he doesn't seem to actually consume much of it.
I've pointed this out before, but it's a truly amazing talent.
You'd think you'd absorb some through osmosis if you touch it with your lips constantly for 20 minutes, but no.
This is just how real manly men drink alcohol—
by... not drinking it.
I'm a big boy now.
And maybe I'm crossing a cultural boundary here, but
who puts four or five huge pieces of ice in a nice whiskey like that?
That completely removes the taste and the aroma. You might as well be drinking water.
AURINI: "So let's return to Ghostbusters— the *real* Ghostbusters."
AW YEEEEAAAH!
Oh man, I love The Real Ghostbusters!
It was my favorite show when I was growing up!
I was born a year after it went off the air, but I've been nostalgic for other people's childhoods my whole life!
...Oh.
No, he just made a very poor choice of words when describing the original Ghostbusters film. Oh, okay. Fine.
AURINI: "What's this movie really about?
When you strip away all of the makeup, the setting,
- [LAUGHING]
- the jokes, the gags, and the big-name actors..."
If you ignore everything about the film, apart from the fact the main characters are male,
then Ghostbusters is about being a man! Beat that, feminists!
AURINI: "What is the kernel of narrative that you find?
It's a movie about four friends putting together a small business, and the difficulties they have to deal with.
This is a masculine story at its core."
He doesn't even say what made the original film good.
He openly admits he's ignoring everything about the film except the physical sex of the principal characters,
then makes a vague statement about the story being about four friends starting a business together.
That isn't even accurate, either.
The film's about three friends starting a business, and Winston is a new recruit they hire later.
So even his summary of the original film is wrong!
But based on this reductive, misremembered plot outline,
he then concludes that this premise simply could not work if they were women.
Women don't start businesses!
AURINI: "The reason it's a masculine story is because of the psychological inheritance we received from our ancestors.
Men evolved go out and prove themselves to women, to take big risks, to bite off more than they can chew.
Women evolved to find security in the home environment, so that they could raise their children successfully."
Oh, of course it's about having children!
That's what women are for, am I right, guys?
AURINI: "Because of this, our ancestors were the risk-taking men who would do something like
gamble on ghostbusting being a successful business model."
- We weren't evolved to be ghostbusters, Davis!
- [AURINI CONTINUES SPEAKING ONSCREEN TEXT]
Ghosts do not exist!
Etsy?! WHAT?!
[LAUGHING]
Women were evolved for Etsy, and men were evolved to be ghostbusters!
[LAUGHING]
Stop it!
I gotta go back...
Ghosts and magic nuclear proton packs I can suspend my disbelief about, but...
...opening a ghost hunting business? Come on.
Where'd you study evolutionary biology, Davis? The university of your own mind?
Roosh "Legalize Rape" V's internet forum?
Now, I'm sure that's my academic bias. You don't have to have a degree to know this stuff.
I'm sure he cites his sources to support the idea that running a business is an evolutionarily male thing in the descri—
No, he doesn't. He just links to his Twitter.
Gosh, he's so rational. He's a true free thinker.
He's free from having to provide evidence or reasoning for his claims.
Davis has always had a devil-may-care attitude to proving his point using evidence.
In a previous video where he claims women are depressed because of feminism,
he cites precisely one source, which links to a dead page,
prompting you to have to Google it for him and eventually discovering it doesn't say what he says it says.
So even when he does cite his sources, you have to go out of your way to find them,
just to realize he's making it up.
Davis then goes on to diagnose Paul Feig,
a successful and critically acclaimed millionaire film director who's done more than Davis ever will,
with some kind of weird mother complex.
AURINI: "It is clear that Feig is a man who's deeply confused about the sexes.
He never learned about masculinity from a father, who was always working.
He was a boy raised to be a woman."
If you don't agree with me, you have a mental disorder!
He claims that Feig is just projecting his beliefs onto the world.
AURINI: "He takes his malformed, stunted understanding of masculinity and projects it onto the other sex."
Wow, the man literally fantasizes about everyone not like him being completely crazy.
And when he's not doing that, he's accusing them of projecting.
In fact, he makes this kind of claim all the time with people he doesn't like.
She's projecting!
He's projecting!
You're projecting!
That's right, Davis. Everyone's projecting.
AURINI: "They manufactured a problem to be upset with.
Just constantly finding problems to bitch about,
that only he can find the solution for."
[READING COMMENT]
"SJW really is a mental disorder, and you're a part of it."
Remember when he kept comparing Jordan Owen to Elliot Rodger just because they had a slight argument?
By the way, it's not a good look to openly admit you work with people who even you think have the makings of a violent outburst.
AURINI: "In another interview with Hollywood Reporter, he made a point of saying that his favorite color was purple."
[KLAXON SIRENS]
Oh, the color purple, am I right, guys? Clearly the man's deranged! Might as well lock him up right now!
Davis loves to diagnose people with made-up problems, in order to then prescribe his own ideal solution.
Looking back through the article where he shills for testosterone cream the company AndroPlus gave him for free...
Davis diagnoses the entire male sex in the modern day of having
"an epidemic of low testosterone".
His main point of evidence being "your own eyes", or rather, his personal opinion.
The world is sick, and the cure is this topical cream I was given for free by my sponsors!
To be fair, though, he does give recommendations
for natural solutions to men's lack of testosterone.
1. Fix your diet.
3. Work out.
2. Supplements.
4. Lifestyle.
Hey, shilling for this testosterone cream stuff sounds like a nice racket.
That's why I've decided to get in on that business.
[BOUNCY MUSIC]
Are you living in constant fear of losing your one source of pride—
your #MANLINESS?
Worried you'll lose your sex partner to someone with a greater libido, or who's... nicer?
Are you embarrassed by the male pattern baldness that, combined with your shitty philosophy,
causes everyone to keep comparing you to Kane from Command & Conquer?
Or are you just looking to get conned out of money by people who know how to play on your insecurities?
Well, new from Oxymoron Productions, it's—
It'll make you feel like the fictionalized version of man you think exists!
Man-spread some on your toast today!
Or, if you're trying to cut down on the unnecessary bread carb gluten tutens,
just pour it directly into your gaping mouth hole, you...
Finally... manhood!
MANnestrone: it's not sponsored by Davis Aurini.
It can be yours for the extortionate price of $15,000 a month.
In fact, at one point, rather than quote the actual feminists he's trying to criticize,
he quotes the villain of Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead" and says, "yeah, they're basically just like that!"
Taking this in consideration with his poor and reductive understanding of the re— I mean, original Ghostbusters
and his admission that he didn't actually watch most of Anita Sarkeesian's work when he made a documentary about her,
something very clear unfolds.
Davis is just making shit up.
The reason he cites no sources, except ones that contradict him,
and talks only in vague statements about every subject he's ever covered,
is because he doesn't actually engage with any of the material he's discussing at all.
The only people he ever consistently cites or quotes in detail are people he already agrees with
from his personal corner of the manosphere,
and even then, that list changes over time as more and more of them reject him.
You might notice that Davis's overall style has altered a little,
and I'm not just saying he's finally become ashamed of poor old McCarther and hidden him.
In previous videos and articles, Davis wouldn't censor himself.
He would be quick to point out that women are the real cause of the world's problems,
and they need to be forced to submit.
But now he's saying women are good at some things.
He doesn't say what exactly, besides having children,
keeping a house clean, and running an Etsy store.
But that's at least progress.
He's no longer claiming their sole purpose is to bleed on the birthing bed.
Which brings me to the question of the day—
has our good friend Davey-Wavey actually improved as a person in the time since I last looked at his stuff,
or has he simply learned how to cloak his beliefs behind slightly more coded language?
I'll let you decide.
But it's the latter, and if you disagree, you're wrong.
On some days, Davis will diagnose people he's never met
with a whole heap of mental disorders from the safety and complacency of his literal armchair,
and then on others,
he'll tell you that psychiatrists just make problems up where none exist.
Well, someone is.
You know, 60 years ago,
the people we now refer to as neo-reactionaries were the mainstream— the actionaries.
Saying that women really shouldn't be in any kind of working roles, and pointing to the fact that there weren't any,
and asking, "have you seen any women doing good jobs lately?"
But then women started working, and proved that they were just as good slaves to the capitalist nightmare as men,
and that whole argument went out the window.
Nowadays, we call them neo-reactionaries, and
they mostly just make shitty documentaries barely anyone watches about the misandry in Bioshock,
or films they haven't seen yet.
Occasionally, they go out to their car or the woods
to film themselves diagnosing far more successful men than them that they haven't met with mental disorders,
so they can feel better about how their ideas have failed them.
I call that progress.
I could tell you that I don't like Davis, that he's a bad guy and needs to be stopped,
but the honest reality is, I like him very much. He's hilarious.
He's provided me with hours of amazing content that I can't stop watching.
His petulant, incoherent whining and the air of mirth with which he's received, even by his own guys—
and it is mostly guys—
will never stop being funny to me.
And Davis...
please never, ever stop.
Please continue writing free associative rants on your website for me to read and enjoy.
And please don't go outside too much, because
if you meet too many feminists who you can have a real conversation with, you might change your mind on some points,
and then I would lose a source of comedy.
That said, I know in my heart you will come around one day.
We'll kill you with kindness, and your ghost will be a feminist.
That wasn't a threat, that was a metaphor?
Look...
the people on your side might hate you for making them all look bad,
and question your masculinity through your constant need to stock up on testosterone cream,
but you'll always be my man, Davis.
Here's to you.
Cheers.
You'll notice I only use one piece of ice...
because I'm already cool enough.
[CRACKS UP]
♪ ["The Real Ghostbusters" Theme Music]
I'd like to say an extra special thanks, in no particular order except alphabetical, to:
[SLURRED SPEECH]
For a donation of only $2, you— yes, you— can see outtakes like this one.
[LAUGHING]
What a terrible shot! I'm awful at this!
♪♪
