Top of the mornin to all -
Well, it's actually- uh- the night times.
In Minecraft,
right now. What's up Sam!?
You kickin' ass?
You takin' names?
Oh - people told me that I could dye Sam's collar...
Although it's... red right now
and the only dye I have is red.
So maybe that's why I ended up punching you instead of loving you. Like the sweet baby boy you are!
the way I should have.
I'm sorry, Sam.
Sometimes, sometimes a mines got a crafter, you know?
You know, dawg?
He knows!
Uhhh what are we doing today? I want to go on a little bit of an adventure.
I want to explore more! I want to get more the-a bones! I want to go out into the big bad world!
I also want to go on a trip with Sam, and we got to build you something.
We got to build you, a nice little tower. I want to build, a Sam castle.
I'm building a castle anyway, I'm building a castle for myself-
-but I really should be building a castle for my dog first, because dogs are more important than people.
Sam?
It's gonna be our first adventure together. We're heading out into the world together, okay?
(breathing)
Please be careful! I-I don't ask for much, Sam.
It's the first time you're gonna be let out of the house except for the time when you were out in the wild and you
were living free and doing your own thing and now you're sequestered in here, and I don't really know what I'm doing with it so
LET'S GO!
Come on, Sam!
Okay, maybe you should make some bread first.
Okay, SAM GET INSIDE-
People getting mad at me because I was walking through my crops.
I don't really know how-wha-how else to do it.
Is- Is this right? Is this the right way?
Or is this another wrong way?
You, shut up and burn.
WHA- WHAT DID I SAY!?
GET OFF MY CROPS! You're gonna burn them all down!
This is MY LAND!
This is Ireland! This is my farm! I'm not gonna have any ZAMBOS coming in, and messing up my crops!
This is a great harvest this year.
Let me get a TINY little bit of dirt again.
Just a little bit, just a little smidge!
You know what, a cocaine addict is like; "just gimme be a tiny bit more!"
It's all I want, j-just a tiny bit more.
I am drowning-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
JESUS!
OH! LORD!
OKAY... OKAY
(heavy breathing)
You're not allowed to jump-scare me!
Alright, you freaking Minecraft!
Look at this Minecraft right here!
Craftin' his way! What are you doing?
Ohp-
I missed your head.
What'd I get?
I don't know, a dumb block from a dumb Minecraft?
I'm a farmy girl~
In a farmy world~
Life is plastic~
Life IN plastic.
...It's fantastic.
messed up the lyrics...
They give me a Nautilus Shell?
What a Nautilus Shell do? Is that important? Can't be that important if a-
if a FREAKING DUMB gave it to me...!
Alright, I don't need these things. I don't need that. I don't need Obsidians, logs...
Ah yes, I'm gonna bring some sticks!
Anyway, in case just need to make some more torches, you know, it's all about efficiency!
It's all about being a man of outdoors and out in the wild!
I got three Iron Pickaxes, a Bow, some Arrows, an axe, a sword...
and a
fRiCkIn
GO-GET-EM attitude! I can accomplish anything that I want to do right now.
I got some food...
WAIT-
Let's put that in there and let's take out a lead.
Because I'm, kind of worried that Sam's gonna get away from me.
Alright, Samblie!
Let's head on out! Come on out, Sam!
Sam, close the door behind you. We're not animals!
Sam, this is my Nether Portal!
Everywhere on the other side of that is the Netherlands...
Don't go in there.
Dutch people are scary.
Hop on in, Sam! Hop on in the boat!
'Atta boy!
Okay, you're with me right?
Yes!
All right, Sam! We're off in an adventure. I haven't explored half of this world yet,
I've kind of just stayed in my own lane, and haven't done anything else.
It's gonna be a big bad world out there Sam, there could be-
O T H E R
P E O P L E
We could find other people and other dogs!
None of them are as good as you though. Don't worry about it.
You're my- You're my good boy.
You're my BEST good boy.
...who the freak is that?
Sam, stay in the boat.
...What are you...?
(p A I N)
AAAAAA-
OH IT HURTS-
SPECIAL BLOCK-
ATTAAAACCCCK!
What do we get?
(It be the Magma Block, my friend-)
Magma Block?
W  o  w  .
Special- oh I'm gonna drown-
SAM-
Sam's fine.
(sHOOKETH)
I see smoke.
Smokestack?
People?
Sam I was only- I was only fluting around! I was only joking!
Hey, it's another Sam!
a BAD Sam, don't look at 'im.
(o u c h)
He's a scary boy.
Oh god, there's so much world to explore.
(bIG sHOOKETH)
t h e r e ' s  a n o t h e r  l i t t l e  h o u s e-
Theresanotherlittlehousewithanotherlittlepeople!
Okay, park the boat...
Park the boat- right-
Park-
Uh- good enough.
Okay. Sam, out of the boat.
I haven't trained him how to get out of the boat yet, but this is good enough.
Did I get my boat?
I got my boat. Okay, put that Magma Block away. Sam, gear up for battle.
It's time to go in. You don't have any armor though. Can I-can I build you armor?
Hello knock knock, it's me. Tiny Irishman.
(lE SHOOK-)
Ahh you guys got a-
(sHOOKETH ONCE MORE-)
pOTATOS-
(p O P !)
(YAAAYYYY!)
Yeah, that was another part of my journey today and I forgot! Oh my god, the Irish land is coming home!
(YAAAYYYY!)
Yeah, that was another part of my journey today and I forgot! Oh my god, the Irish land is coming home!
Sam, we got Taters! We got Spuds!
Those people are scary though, I don't know if I like them.
All they have trees-
(You could just kill them people though but uh, maybe no?-)
Sam, get out; it's not our house.
Sam?
(Whistle)
(Whistle)
There he is. There he is, the man of our town. Alright, come on Sam, let's go say hi to some people.
(n O-)
With my sword.
W  H  O  A-
This house is dope!
Hey, not as cool as Ireland!
In my castle, but you know what-
good-
(le clap-)
Good try for some small brains, but my big brain is way better than yours. Come along, Sam.
(lE SHOOK)
He's got a little hat on!
I want a little hat!
I mean-
I- I've-
I've armor...
I guess that's fine.
Hello, small brain people!
(Hello-)
It is I!
Irishman, I am the Gaelic Gladiator,
pleased to meet you guys.
Wh- What are you?
(laughter-) You got big noses?
You all look like Squidward-
(Laugh-)
You SOUND like Squidward!
(Imitating Squidward/Villager Mode-)
Oh no, he's hAWT-
Okay is that all you guys do, just go around humming and hawing about things?
I like your bell! Your well bell-
(bELL SOUND-)
What does that mean, what did I do?
Oh no, did I summon the cult?
Oh, it's cause it's night time. HAH-
These guys' afraid of night time? What a bunch of babies-
What a bunch of small brains-
Hi, is this your house?
you don't have anything cool.
(wheeze-)
Even in sleep, you're weird-
Sam
Don't chase the chickens or any of you guys have some cool stuff to steal. That's the only reason I'm here
You guys are awesome and all
But my big brain needs big big bounty I need I need cool stuff. Can I take your bail I
kinda wanna just steal all their stuff and bring it back to my place Oh
Baby zombie, what the Freak?
Sam oh
God oh this is the worst side of the world. Oh
No, don't you don't you dare Sam Sam Sam sit. I'm
Good boy Sam!
Yay, what a good Boy. Where's that chicken? Oh, no, his tail is low. So have your tail is low
I don't want you to die
Sam I took you out on this adventure because I thought it was gonna be easy and I thought we weren't gonna do much
I'm sorry chicken, but it's for the greater good. It's for me Sam Sam. I brought chicken. Are you able to eat that?
His tail went back up yay, okay
Another dog Sam Sam come here. I need to put my dog in the lead
Here we go, okay
Sam don't pay attention to the other dogs. Okay. We have to be a good boy
Guys, you think a skeleton knows it's made out of bones
God these heck and Minecrafts try to kill me all the time turtle
Okay, I gotta eat cuz I'm not getting my health back unless I'm at full health
You see guys I get minecraft now I get how it works look at me going learning full health Sam there's a creeper
Sam you're supposed to say oh man after it. Come on. Don't break the chain dude. Yeah
Did you hear a cat I
Heard of me out a second ago. Hey kitty cat. Oh
No, the cat's afraid of Sam Wow, it's fine I have Sam I have my special dog
Are they're here. Oh god my booty I perfectly gloriously sculpted ass
Sam
This time still alive
Please tell me Sam still 'like a creeper just blow up behind me
Sam get him Sam SiC him fight him at the booty
Good job Sam, I really don't think he did anything, but I'm going to give you all of the praise anyway
Cuz you're the best dog does that music let's play music
Okay, I need a chicken. I need a chicken. I need a chicken for Sam
Only for Sam though a spider Sam don't get killed
Oh
No is the help. There you go
Okay, because they helped your village and because I'm a decent person and I don't demand money. I'm only going to demand your crops
Is there a faster way of digging these yeah an ax now and also because I'm a nice person
I'm going to walk on all your crops and
Just jump up and down in them and just make sure that the ground is on tillable again time. You want to help out?
Now, what did we learn?
We learned the jack is the best. What is this thing? I want it I
Want I want all of your things are these campfires what I'm gonna need these for the beacons of Gondor
Kitty oh
So cute
Haha use a real boring. Well, you guys got some freaking caves - Sam you wanna go explore a cave
Don't you have enough food for you though? I barely even have enough food for myself. Okay, you know what Sam?
We're gonna do it
We're going down into the cave. All right, here is the pumpkins. I don't wanna accidentally eat them get rid of this
Ow
Ow, ow, ow. Okay, Sam murder is afoot
Where's my trusty Beast
Where's my trusty beast? Not down here helping me Sam?
You need a little help
Good. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're still the best boy and I love you Oh God
Take your dog out on a trip once and this is what happens
Sam this is irons. And if out the rest of it sniffer diamonds
I'm gonna make my dog a diamond sniffer
They don't like that or pity, oh my god, it can make two but I can make a baked potato
Okay, sell us some other potatoes. I'm gonna plant those potatoes when I get home, but for now
I'm just gonna make a baked potato because I need to taste what it's like to be back in, Ireland
The Gaelic gladiator doesn't have his warrior spirit if he's not eating baked Anders. Ah, what Sam I'm not
I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed
That's not what I meant to do Sam do you want a baked potato
Sam don't eat the baked two taters. Oh, is this a mine? Is this a minecraft out here?
See other people would call them a mineshaft, but I know better this is minecraft
Mmm, it only gets snuck up on again. Okay
Baked potato power. Sorry Sam. I kept you sitting I was running away. We're blocking up this area because there's nothing in it. That's
Where my stuff is back there? Okay, we're making progress somewhere. This is the the hole into the abyss got it
Okay. Oh
God Sam, there's ombos
Get in there sell it stuck it fearsome beast. Okay. I need to really need to feed the hell
Missing chicks
Baby inside that Oh God. Oh that spawns them
Okay, I gotta get rid of this
Boom baby
Okay, Oh more zombies Sam. It's fine. You can you can stop. All right. Is there any food in here for you a saddle?
diamond horse armor a
Music disc, okay. I'm very paranoid if there's zombies coming after me
Dude what the
Frick
diamond horse armor I
Didn't even know there was any horse armor. Are you telling me they're a frickin diamond?
Can they cook any of this meat and give it to Sam?
We're giving you this meat hurt you
Can I even give you this meat?
Nope I can't
Okay, sometimes it don't work though
Tails up again. I have your back to full health. Goody. I need to find me a horse
No offense Sam. You're still a really good companion. Um
The charcoal and Dericks. I won't eat it unless um, you're here
Can I want to put this stuff in here just to keep it safe?
Because I'm afraid that I'm gonna die down here
He lied not
Go straight I'm not scared at all. I think the Gaelic gladiators afraid of a few babies
Nah-ah
I
invented
minecraft him wait
He says as he goes to use his hand to break that down. Maybe I should break these I need a music disc
What are we doing?
Being a silly man
Hey Sam, Sam, I love you. You're my buddy
You are my dad boogie woogie woogie, but you need to get out of here who the best boy
Yeah, shake that footwork work for the people
Attaboy Sam down into the minecraft we go where we will stop Sam. I honestly don't know
I'm actually kind of scared cuz I've never done this. I am 100% gonna get lost down here
Since that lapid stuff was this lapis? Lazuli? Yeah. I think I need this to enchant things later, but
I ain't got a frickin enchantment table yet, or maybe I needed this to build it. I can't remember which one it was Sam
I could really do with your help. I'm actually
Really worried. I thought he would just teleport to me eventually, but now I
Haven't seen him in a little bit
You better not be playing this sad music cuz something happened to my dog oh
It's all connected
Oh who knew it's another monster spawner no, good. Okay. Okay. Oh god, I'm poisoned. Yeah God
Eat eat eat I need to destroy this I
Need to destroy it fast
Yeah, what destroys it faster. There we go. Oh chest I
Really hope Sam's okay
I'm getting very paranoid now that he's he stuck somewhere and I don't know how to get out of this place. Are we good gold?
gold an Apple
Redstone dust rails
Melon seeds guys. I just hit the frickin jackpot a Rooney
It's like they call me jacksepticeye there you are Sam, what are you doing?
You okay oh
Alright bring these rails
And make my own a roller coaster out of them we have down here. Is that gold? Oh hi
Hi, haha you see I pulled a little sneaky on ya I think that is gold
It's ow ow ow ow ow ow. I need my trusty beast
Trusty Beast Sam. Oh god, you're stuck
don't know if you actually are stuck I blocked you in
No wonder you couldn't find your way out, ah, god I can't even see
Okay, that's fine you don't need to see what you have to kill
Come on sam
*whistle*
Hey boys, good Lord, Sam, ow, Oh
Oh my sword broke, oh now it is go time now it is crunch time. It's time to get out of here Sam
Real quick. Ow, ow. Ow, come on, Sam
Sam come along now
Don't don't. Oh god Sam Sam's fight in the skeleton
Yes, Sam drive it back. Oh
What a beast. What a monster the greatest dog that ever lived. Oh sweet sanctimonious
salvation Oh
Lord what an ordeal wait I should probably smelt
Some gold ore out of all of this
Boom baby, that's how you make a Minecraft
I got my gold I can make a golden pickaxe a light weighted pressure plate golden axe
I don't think I'm gonna make anything gold out of... I don't think I'm gonna use the gold for anything yet
A gold clock why would anyone make a golden clock
Noteblock a dropper. What's a dropper? Where are we drop it?
I do want to go back and mess around with my house a little more. So I'm gonna take the stuff that I really need
uhhhhh I don't need bones what the what? Hey!
Oh. my. god. Oh, yeah. I don't have a sword anymore
No, Sam!
Oh my god, oh my god. You almost killed my poor little dog. How did you spawn here? It's bright
Did you spawn in there?
I don't know where you spawn. Sam, I'm so sorry Sam here have little food
Come here, Sam
There you go, there you go, good boy, how's your tail is your tail doing good? Okay good
My boy is good
Um, I need to bring some wheat. oh I need to bring all these armors with me
What can I leave behind Oh have another iron sword. What am I talking about?
I can leave a shovel behind
kind of want my pumpkin seeds
I want the diamond horse armor and the saddle. Sam, We're leaving. We're heading out. How wait
How did I actually get in here in the first place, why did I think it was easy to leave? Oh it's through here
Oh, is it raining?
Was it through here?
Oh god is this gonna be a pain in the ass get my dog out? Okay. I got out but can Sam even follow me?
Sam?
Sam!
Oh no, where is Sam?
Oh-oh! Yes!
NOOOOO!
Oh, oh, what does that mean? What does that mean for me?
Sam!
Now ow, ow, ow I forgot I don't have a shield. I don't have armor. I don't have anything
You better not touch my dog! You better not hurt my dog! I'm coming back Sam somewhere over here. Yes
Yes yes, smokestacks. Yes. This is good. That's a good start. It was right next to that yes here it is. Here it is
Let's get our stuff and bail wait where the hell is Sam. Oh
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, what else what else what else helmet helmet. I have too many things
God damn it! god, damn it!
I don't know where Sam is
Im very worried can I sleep can I sleep in one of these beds? I
"You may not rest now; there are monsters nearby." Oh goddamnit
Where's my helmet did I put my helmet on I did
Okay, let me just recogiger some stuff
SAM!
Ya made it little buddy!
Yes
Sorry, I got a little excited. I thought he was gone forever. I thought I was gonna go on a mission.
Oh Sam
Sam my good little Sam my good ol boy sit there, please.
I kind of want to try and kill these guys
Yes!
Oh god
That was crazy
Still, have my gold I want to go back and check what I lost. Oh, man. I need food. Okay, come on Sam
There's my shield Sam. Come on. Oh, I have you sitting down. I'm sorry. I'm sorry little boy. I'm sorry
where we go our adventure continues Sam we never
Ever speak of this again.
I almost lost you once I'm not going through that again that was like a mother losing a child
Okay, it's Park my little boat here. I need to really up my
Up my game with the rest of my buildings
A dolphin!
Hi,
Oh my god, can I have pet dolphin? I have an idea. I have an idea
Sam, I made this to trap the dolphin. Not you
Dolphins right there. I can trap him
Crap crap crap
Okay, I'm sorry don't die it's it's for a reason
It's it's to love you later
No!
No!
Did the dolphin die :c
All I did was trapped him and killed him. No! I was coming back.
Now all the Dolphins in the game. are gonna hate me
They're going to rally up against me and they're gonna destroy me Dolphins are scary
All right, Sam.
I got very worried because I almost lost you that one time
I'm not letting that happen again. I'm gonna have to build Sam his own
Area Im gonna have to build Sam his own room. We do have this
Super-sweet area out here. Oh, hey
A merchant dude
I wouldn't stay around here too long, dude. You don't want to you don't know what happened to the last guy
He comes over he's like "What happened? What happened to my friend my brother Billy?
He came here to to trade and now he now he'd no come home no more" I killed him
I killed him and ill kill you too. If you're not careful,
I Won't though. I've learned I've learned. I've learned the problems of my past. I learned not to be so violent
can you guys move?
My violent past almost led me to losing Sam
But no more
No more we built our Sam castle
Move, please it's getting kind of annoying to walk over the water every time
Whenever I want to get to the seeds and stuff. Okay. I have to go all the way down here. Oops
my bad
Is there a way?
If I put some slabs there
Dose It's still count like the stuff that's on my roof cuz a flat does it still count as getting water then that work?
Is it still water underneath
I don't know.
I Might have to test. Okay, I'm gonna destroy this
Hup
Then do this and let's see if it gets watered
Well, I guess you get water from the other side. Dang it. Okay. Maybe this is a better test
Destroy you and then do that if that changes again
Haha
It works still counts as water
Heck yeah
Don't mean to swear but heck yeah
This saves me a lot of pain and it actually has a use for these things now that I made way too many of
to begin with
Oh yes. Redstone Redstone Redstone Redstone... Diamond!
Boom baby,
Oh, that's awesome.
I Was just digging out coal, whoa
There's a bunch of stuff in here
Look at all this Redstone
Just random little caves propping up all over the place. I'm a lucky little Irish man. This is gonna be awesome
I've extended out my base at the site. There's a gap here
For that guy. Apparently hi
Hey, ouch!
ouch!
Nope that's what you get that's you get
Okay. Well, that sucked. I don't want that actually there though
Or do I
okay, so the gap is here so we can still go down into our
thing
You know where we were before?
Yeah, okay good you you know it. Um, I might I'll do something with that later
So it's not just a thing sticking out or will I who knows? You never know what I'm gonna do in this game
I'm one step ahea- Boom!. See im one step  ahead of you never know what's gonna happen
I wanna build like a hole staircase
Going all the way up. I want an actual
Sam castle I want a whole tower going all the way up. I kind of made this a little long though. It's not really
How it goes I want this to look like an Irish castle of old. It's got to look really good
No, God
Let's maybe not do that, let's maybe just stab from here boom then they go all the way down cool
I didn't realize what I was getting myself in for
I've been here for an hour trying to build this fucking thing. It's okay
It's gonna be awesome when it's done it and it's all gonna be worth it. It's gonna be for you Sam
It's gonna be your own specialized little Sam castle
It's gonna be for you and only you
You
mother time to put the finishing touches on the top see
these came in useful
for a reason
After all this time all of you dummy dumbs at home thinking Jack made all these walls for no reason. Nope
I had an epic plan all along
That only came to fruition now that I thought about using them for a specific purpose
But it's gonna look awesome this is the top of the wall top of the wall to ya
But I'm also gonna do this Oh
Hmm, you know what it's an odd shape so I can't really do but you know what, this is good enough
This is gonna be epic for my little poocher.
You're gonna put oh I cant mount these to here
Oh, that's bad.
Oh, that sucks. Oh, I don't like that. Okay
Then in the four corners, alright Sam, are you ready to see your new abode?
Hey ready to see where you're gonna be from now on. Come on Sam. Let's show you your new house. Come on in
Come on in. This might be a death trap for you actually because all the way up
Whatever I should get rid of this floor. I don't know. I wanted to show it off Sam. Come on
There he is, come on Sam all the way up
This is kind of just a buffer floor so that if you fall you don't die
He has a beautiful balcony here that he can see all the way out through. Yes all the way out through Sam
Sorry, I didn't give you all of your windows yet
There we go now you can see all the way around isn't it nice
I like it a lot and then you come all the way up to the roof. And then this is where your battlements start
If a raid happens, we're gonna be able to see if anything comes out of that nether portal
We're gonna be able to see it Sam. We're gonna be ready to attack. Don't you like it?
I think it's delightful and then you come over here and
There's still a trapdoor to get down into there so we can still go down into the under ocean if we want
down into our basement
All right. Let's let's go take a look at it from distance. Oh my god
That's so obnoxious Oh
Lord
It's so wide its way wider than it needed to be
Jesus Oh
Sam I'm gonna have to put two more windows up here somewhere
I don't think I can cuz I think that's where the stairs are Oh
Oh lord
Everybody else in Minecraft look at my nice house. Jacksepticeye. I built a castle for my dog. Oh
It's so awesome. I think I can make the walls on the top a bit better though Oh Lord, okay
Well, I'm gonna leave this episode here. We had some trials we had some tribulations
We went down into dark deep mines when we came out stronger than before and we built a castle. This is a long one
I've been recording for like two and a half hours, but
So totally worth it. This game is amazing and I'm having an absolute blast Sam
Can we see him? He's up there somewhere on top of his castle
We salute you, Sam.
