 
Gravity

A Sanctuary Novel

Book Two

Amanda Miga

Copyright 2014 Amanda Miga

Smashwords Edition

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## Acknowledgements

I was especially excited to hear from Jess, my sister after she read _Gravity_ because like _Pull_ , she "doesn't read this kind of stuff," so her opinion was gold to me. She doesn't hold back and if she doesn't like something she'll tell me, which is just as exciting as seeing Blink-182 in concert (my favorite band). So when she handed me her proofed copy it was like the Holy Grail of copies. She told me what parts sucked. I went back to my writing desk and rejoiced. Opinions like hers are what I need. Took me months to repair one chapter she was disappointed in. Thanks for the extra work, Sis!

Thanks to Nisa Linger for your hawk-eyes. You've spotted more misspelled words than my spell checker, making me feel like I'm in middle school again and she's correcting my story about three boys with powers. She found things that even I said, "why did I write that?" or "what did I mean by that?" It was the first time I realized that I write much differently than I talk so sometimes I didn't make sense to her, so I may not make sense to other readers. Thank you for that important lesson!

Mom loves everything I do even if its crap, but I don't expect any less from my mom. She's knew my characters since my first attempts in writing the Sanctuary books. She's read the unreadable originals of book one to five. She can relate to my characters well. I think her favorite is Red but she also like Dash. This is the kind of stuff I love talking about with her. It gives the momentum to keep going, It makes these characters real. Thanks again for re-reading this story for only God knows how many times.

My happy husband, Miga, for taking me to concerts; for holding me tight when the pit opens up; for dancing with me at the sweet sixteen parties I dragged him too; for being my prom date; for being my best friend; for holding me when I fall apart; for being the one I fell in love with. You're the best part of my teen years. You're the romantic root in these novels.

To my family, friends and bookstore buddies, thank you for your support when book one was released.

I give thanks to music; to which had helped me bring this story to life. Years in the making, the following artists and bands had the most impact on book Two: 7Lions, 30 Seconds to Mars, Adam Lambert, Allstar Weekend, Angels and Airwaves, Armin van Buuren, Ashland High (Jealous Lover), Atlas Genius, Attack! Attack!, Awolnation, Big Time Rush, Blink-182, Blood On the Dance Floor, Bobby Darin (Beyond the Sea), Box Car Racer, Boys Like Girls, Breathe Carolina, Breathe Electric, Chris Brown, CHVRCHES, Chunk! No Captain Chunk, The Clash, Cobra Starship, Colbie Caillat, Conor Maynard, David Guetta, Demi Lovato, Devil Wears Prada (Louder Than Thunder), Ellie Goulding, Fall Out Boy, For What It's Worth (Long Island band), Foster the People, Funeral For a Friend (History), Haim, Hellogoodbye, Hit the Lights, Hot Chelle Rae, Imagine Dragons, Lesley Gore (You Don't Own Me), Linsey Stirling, M83, Maroon 5, Metro Station, Mika, Mike Beyer (solo recordings), Mindless Behavior, Mozart (Piano Sonata No. 11; Alla Turca ; Allegretto), The Naked and Famous, Never Shout Never (Time Travel), New Found Glory, NONONO (Pumpin' Blood), One Direction, OneRepublic, Owl City, Panic! At the Disco, Parachute, Parade of Lights, Passion Pit, Patrick Stump, Phoenix, POP ETC. (Yoyo), The Postal Service, The Ready Set, The Rolling Stones, Rudimental (Feel the Love), Ryan Tedder, SafetySuit, Shiny Toy Guns, Sleeping With Sirens, Smallpools (Dreaming), Solomon Burke, Thomas Bergersen, Timeflies, Tokio Hotel, Two Steps From Hell, Walk the Moon, Washed Out (Before), We Came As Romans, Wildlife Control (Different), Young London, Youngblood Hawke, The 1975 (The City).

## Chapter One

Gabriel

I maneuver quickly, keeping to the school walls before I'm cornered like a rat. The memorization of the school's alcoves, the bell timing, and avoiding the halls that carry the most traffic are more than a way for an introvert to avoid people—they're survival tactics. I perfected a system to protect my personal space from being violated. Bumping into another person is a mistake my mind can't afford, no matter what my body craves from such a clash. They will obsess over me if they're too close for too long. They will lust after me if their shoulder grazes mine. It doesn't matter if they're a boy or a girl—the monster inside me has no preference.

I take every precaution to keep from being noticed. Yet, the notorious black Ramones hoodie I wear is just about all that people recognize. It helps to cover my black hair and obscure my face. There isn't a day where I'm not wearing it. Blending into the background as a dark, blurry nobody in high school is not what a typical teenager wants to be remembered as.

I'm not typical.

I have no choice but to bear the labels given to me and try to stay invisible or I'll ruin someone's life.

I sit in the last row in homeroom just as I always do in every class. I'm the first to enter. Wait for attendance.

"Gabriel Black."

"Here." My eyes stay down. My limbs stay close to my body.

It's the same every day. My routine is the only control I have.

I'm the last to leave when the bell rings. The hallway is a battleground of fleshy mines. Like a soldier, I must try to make it to the safety of the recess beside the water fountain before my body collides with another. Sometimes a quick overlapping of my personal space and another student is realized, but the classmates that feel my aura by accident, won't see me. I swiftly disappear before an impression is made.

I take the long route to study hall, making a quick stop at the boy's bathroom where the last stall's removable ceiling tiles keep some of my textbooks and supplies. My locker is unfortunately located in one of the main arteries of the school. Stashes like this are a preventative measure—no one's usually around.

The boy washing his hands doesn't look my way and leaves quickly. No guy wants to be in the bathroom alone with the Ramones guy. Prejudice is my unfortunate friend.

I'm the last to arrive in study hall. With my hands in my pockets and my hood up, I don't look at anyone and sit in the back of class. There's no one to worry about behind me. I have to concern myself with how close someone is to my vicinity. My acute awareness of my surroundings is as natural as breathing.

A slightly warming sensation heats my right arm, warning me the kid next to me is a little too close. I slowly use my feet to inconspicuously move the desk a few more inches back until the warmth leaves my skin.

The second bell rings and my hood falls back before Mr. Hopkins mentions it. I can never shake the anxious feeling of being unveiled like a museum exhibit, but I keep my head low to avoid eye contact.

My textbook and homework are out. First period study hall is the only time to do it. If I don't do it now, then it will never get done. I reach into my backpack for a pen and take one from my supply of unopened pen boxes. I'm overly prepared because getting caught without a pen or textbook means I'll have to borrow from someone else, or worse—I'd have to share. Going over one textbook between two students is like breathing one another's breath before a kiss. It overwhelms the senses where the lesson doesn't matter. For the other student, the interest in me spikes. I don't need that kind of attention. Being inches away from another is like teasing a starved vampire with a bleeding virgin. Touching will only lead to sinful actions. Like after class is over, an obscure area of the school would be occupied with perversions, I, myself, couldn't foresee performing, but the monster inside hungers for it when it's prodded. Bodily cravings do not seize until quenched.

Once I didn't have a pen—fingers grazed—never again.

"Hey, Ramones!"

My eyes lift off the paper and look up to the girl sitting in front of me. Her blue eyes stare and she's actually smiling.

Mr. Hopkins is grading papers and doesn't pay any mind. I look back down.

"I never noticed before, you have pretty green eyes," she says.

My pulse is racing. I want to make eye contact. I want to talk to her. I want to know what else she likes.

"You have a pen I can borrow?"

Without looking at her I reach into my backpack and pull out a pen and hand it to her, but I let the pen drop to the floor before her fingers invade the thin space between us. I don't have to look at her to know what it looks like. I'm not trying to be an asshole. I have no choice but to play the part.

Sorry. The simple word would Band-Aid the situation, but that means I'll have to talk to her. I can't start a conversation that will draw attention. Making friends is impossible, so why would I even try.

She grabs the pen off the floor. "Um...thanks." It sounds like her pretty smile is gone, but I don't lift my eyes to confirm it.

Another glare prods me, taking my attention from the work that will pass the time in this God forsaken school. I look up to see one of the infamous bullying goons that make a name for himself by ritualizing the beating of chosen targets for a week. I've been under the radar for years, but now a drop of a pen has ensured an impending beat-down.

My mouth dries as Eric Anderson inauspicious smile curls. His followers turn in their seats to witness the stunned face of their next victim. I don't give them the pleasure and leaves my stoic mask unchanged.

The clock on the wall confirms the elongated torture of the apprehensive atmosphere. Homework will have to wait. Planning to leave this school will prove to be most challenging. I've witnessed Anderson and his crew parading the halls with their victim, carrying them off to God-knows-where to do God-knows-what. The idea of a group of boys setting me off makes me perspire. Being the center of attention, even for this moment, is causing my heart to race.

I habitually place my hood on. I'll keep it on as long as Mr. Hopkins doesn't notice.

The bell finally rings and the plan is in place. The room empties.

Anderson's minions rise from their desks slowly waiting for Eric's signal.

I shoulder my backpack. The others move into position as I rise from my desk.

"Mr. Hopkins?" I hate being a pussy, but asking for a teachers help is the only option here. The band of assholes has me cornered.

"What is it Mr. Black?" I make my way past the sneering teeth and fuming eyes.

I make eye contact with Mr. Hopkins. The man just stares, as the gang gets closer.

"You have two minutes Mr. Black. I suggest you speak before you're late for your next class. I'm not signing a late slip."

I hear them approaching from behind. If they leave the room and wait for me, I'll be caught outside.

"Well?" Mr. Hopkins brows lift.

I dart out the classroom and into the crowded halls. The clamor of desks and chairs behind me pumps fear into my veins. Grazing shoulders and knocking over students, sets my craving on high.

My hood peels back. Eric and the others are laughing. Everyone in the hall is looking at me.

"Where are you going, Ramones?"

"Do you ever wear anything else?"

"Yo! Get that kid!"

The halls are thinning; a sign that the second bell is about to ring.

I turn the corner and hide in a janitor's closet, where I once fornicated.

The bell rings and screeching sneakers stop at the door. I hold the handle. One of the bullies rattles the doorknob, sending their energy trickling up my arm like an electrical current.

"Emo boy! I know you're in there." One of them kicks the door. "Come out and take it like the faggot you are."

The handle rattles and my grip tightens. I can't let them in for their sake. They don't know what will happen to them if they touch me.

One of the teachers voices calls out their names. The shadows under the door leave except one.

"I'll get you asshole. I'll make you eat every single one of those psycho pills if I see your face again. You hear me?"

Eric's shadow leaves and another person approaches with clacking heels.

"Mr. Anderson, get back here!"

The female knocks.

"Hello? Who's in there?" I let go of the knob before I feel her energy. The door opens.

The light is blinding and a female figure stands before me.

I scurry away from the door, my back knocks into the shelves behind me, sending bathroom paper tumbling on my head. The teacher stares. My hands shake and my eyes water. How many people saw? I place my hood on.

"It's okay. You can come out now, Mr. Black."

## Chapter Two

Gabriel

Sitting outside the principal's office is like being an exotic animal at the zoo. For those who travel the main halls of the school, the glass window showcases troublemakers and their victims. The window tapping is excessive. My hood defends me against the glares, but it's also a dead giveaway that 'Ramones is in trouble.'

Eric Anderson is dragged in by the female teacher that witnessed the incident. I keep my head down and watch her red shoes escort Eric to an adjacent chair. His long legs indicate he's slouching and no doubt glaring me. I peek up and see him grinning. He's been in this office more often than anyone at this school. He waves humorously at the glass window and everyone that passes gives him thumbs up or an approving smile.

"Mr. Black. Mr. Anderson." The principal strokes his gray beard and lets us into his office. "Have a seat."

I keep my head low and scoots the chair away from Eric.

"Would one of you care to explain the running, cussing in the halls—causing a ruckus between periods is not permitted. Mr. Black?"

I don't utter a sound. There's nothing the principal can do for me. Anderson will only keep doing it. There's no point in even trying. "Mr. Black, I'm talking to you."

I stare at the dust ball under the desk. The fan in the room is moving it ever so slowly toward principal's foot.

"I can't help you if you don't speak up, Gabriel. What's so funny, Mr. Anderson?"

"Nothing. I didn't know it had a name."

"This is twice this month, Eric, you've caused a stir."

"He's got drugs Mr. P, look in his bag. I bet he didn't register them with the nurse."

"Eric!"

"Look!" Eric's fingers point like daggers and I can feel the heat of the fingertip at my side.

"Gabriel? Do you have anything to say about Eric's accusation?"

The dust ball rolls over Mr. P's shiny black shoe and disappears out of view.

"Mr. Black, may I see the contents of your bag?"

I place my backpack on the desk without hesitation. Or course there's nothing, but school supplies; no drugs, no meds.

"Mr. Anderson, please wait outside."

I can't find anything to focus on. The dingy green carpet is devoid of interest.

"Gabriel, I'll have to check your locker. Do you understand son?"

I nod. There's nothing in my locker.

"If you don't talk to me I can't help you. I know Eric is up to no good, but I need to make sure of it. What happened?"

I can't speak. I just can't. There's nothing I can do.

"Fine. I'll have to give you both detentions on Saturday. Do you understand?"

I nod. Detention isn't so bad considering where I live. At least there are vending machines and a clean bathroom.

Mr. P sighs. "You may go to your next class now, Mr. Black."

I leave the office. Eric is outside the door, slouching in a chair.

I wait patiently for the receptionist to sign my late slip.

"You're a faggot aren't you? I bet that's why you don't play in gym. You like watching guys."

I don't blame him for thinking that. Ever since I was little, kids often felt violated by me. Playing with others caused serious questions to arise that I was touching or making other children feel uncomfortable, provoking fights and name calling. I didn't understand why other children ran away from me, why my mother didn't want to hold me anymore and my stepfather wanted to hold me too much. I know now. Eric can see it. There's something wrong with me. I accept that.

The receptionist signs me out and I walk pass Eric.

I shut the door behind me, but Eric's last words slip through.

"Why don't you just die already?"

I've thought about it. It would be better for everyone if I was dead. It's not like I make a difference on this planet. I barely exist now.

The empty halls give some relief—no one is around to witness my release. I enjoy the distinct sound my sneakers make on the waxed floor. The free space will soon be invaded when the next bell rings. For now I'll take my precious time to enjoy the lovely silence the school brings between classes.

I exit the school. I'll skip the next few periods before lunch. There's no way I'll enter in the middle of class. I make my way to my usual spot on school grounds. The outside provides the space I need rather than sitting in the crowded cafeteria. The school has a low concrete wall surrounding it where student's hangout on during lunchtime. I choose to hide behind it rather than sit on top like I usually do. I'm not taking any chances if Eric or his friends spot me.

I used to sit alone, but recently I sit with my only friend, Joshua Masterson. Josh is considered new to the school. I had only known him for two months, which is a miracle in my book. I've never had a friend this long since elementary school. After a while, people stay away. Their assumptions about me are based on fear when they've gotten too close. Their colorful gossip created the reputation I have now. It's not their fault I'm strange. I lure accidentally. They want to run away, because it's disturbing the way I make them feel. Ever since I can remember, I've always had this effect on people. With Josh, I have nothing to worry about because he keeps a safe distance.

With my back to the wall, I drop my backpack and let my feet slide forward until the earth meets my jeans. Facing the parking lot, I think how Eric and his goons were so close to touching me. Touch would've made them helplessly attracted to me or disgusted in themselves for what I make them feel. The problem is I don't like losing control when I touch someone. My body wants to take advantage of the sexual opportunity, as if a primitive instinct kicks on. Trying to find the will to stop is very hard. I've found myself in situations so shameful I can't bear to look at the faces in the halls anymore. Being cornered, felt-up, kissed, groped, beat-up, tied down and worse—raped; all because of their curiosity or obsession from a simple touch or standing too close for too long. No matter how good it feels, the shame is all I'm left with afterwards.

I can't imagine what would have happened if Eric had gotten his hands on me. I've worked so hard to avoid situations like this but here I am worrying: What will happen after lunch? What will happen in P.E.? What about tomorrow? I can't sit out classes forever.

The bell sounds waking me from my daze. Students with the privilege to leave school grounds for lunch pour out of the school. I envy anyone with a car to escape. Cutting classes for the rest of the day doesn't seem like a bad idea, but there's always tomorrow. Where will I go anyway? Not home.

"Please don't tell me the rumor about you is true?"

"Which one?" I look up above my head. Josh is hanging over the wall with his blonde hair falling over his eyes.

"What do mean which one?"

I close my eyes. "Which—one?"

"The new one, what do you think? Everyone said they saw you at the principal's. I suppose you're hiding from Anderson. I think he's still getting an ear full." The sun hits Josh's blue eyes as he scans the surroundings. "His gang usually leaves for lunch." Josh climbs over the wall and drops besides me. "So you're safe for now."

It's never safe.

The clean smell of detergent wafts into my nose reminding me that I'm the dirty version of Josh. We're similarly dressed; black jeans, skate sneakers, but Josh's clothes are new; not borrowed. Josh's punk tee is made to look old. All of my shirts are traded in at the thrift shop. Like me, he's labeled a loner, but he's friendly and doesn't shy away from simple hellos and handing pens to pretty girls. We're more or less invisible to everyone which is what I prefer. We're content on our own, but we have each other when we want company. It's a low maintenance friendship I'm grateful to have.

We had first met at the local bookstore. Josh had approached me while reading comics and found we had that in common. I'm always polite to strangers outside of school. I welcomed the friendly conversation thinking I'll never see him again until meeting happened regularly at the store. I didn't want to come off as rude when keeping my distance. I had told Josh I have haphephobia; a fear of touching. I assume it's enough to deter any questions on my odd behavior. Josh didn't ask questions. He simply accepted the half lie.

Josh knows the rumors about me, like I'm a vampire, homeless, or that I'm mental and on meds. Hanging out with me will only bring down his reputation from new kid to Ramones' homo boyfriend. Josh doesn't seem to care what anyone thinks of him. I wish I was strong like him. He doesn't judge; he just hangs out and talks without a worry in the world.

"So what happened?" Josh reaches into his pack for lunch. The brown paper bag triggers my stomach to growl.

"Does it matter? All he had to do was look at me and I've been marked for termination."

"He'll get bored. They always do."

"It'll only get worse."

"Look on the bright side. You're a ghost. They'll have to catch you first, right?"

"They nearly did." I watch a group of girls pile into a red car. "I can just sit here all day."

"You can. I'll let you borrow my iPod. I added The Clash." Josh tears open a bag of chips and offers some. I stare at the bag with Josh's fingers wrapped around it. Is he kidding?

"I can't. I have a test in Bio." I eye the bag as Josh sets it down and unwraps his lunch.

"You're worried about Anderson. Fuck'em. I think he's on his last strike. It won't be long before he's suspended."

"There are other Andersons." I shift uncomfortably.

"Nah, you're like a ninja. Swiftly making your way through the halls, no one ever sees you. You can't catch a ninja. You just need those metal stars."

"Throwing stars."

"Yeah, so you can cut Anderson into shreds. Leave a scar on that mug of his."

"Mortally wound him." I take a chip and throw it into my mouth.

"Black Shinobi. I'll be your sensei."

"Master Jah-Sho-Wa," I laugh.

Josh has a way of making me feel better even if he's wrong. I can never escape people, because people bring rise to my burden. Joshua Masterson is different. He's the best part of my life, the only person I feel comfortable with. But even getting comfortable is dangerous.

The corners of my smile drop at the thought of losing him as friend. Having gone through so many friends in the past, I know if I'm not careful, Josh will want nothing to do with me, or worse—he'll want everything to do with me.

"Eat, Gabriel-san."

My mouth waters as Josh splits the sandwich his mother has made for him. Josh places it on a napkin in the space between us, allowing me to pick it up. I'm grateful because most days I have no money for lunch or no lunch at all.

"Hey, you can crash at my place tonight. Mom's making your favorite." Josh sets a soda can between us to share. "Spinach Lasagna."

"Anything your mom makes is my favorite." I take a good look at the deli meat piled on thick, before taking a big bite. Thank God for Josh.

The savory meat sloshing in my mouth and the fact I don't have to go home brings my heart to a great relief. I'll never ask to sleepover. It's bad enough saying yes every time hep asks. Some days I pray for the invitation. Most times my prayers are answered and I stay at Josh's house. Today of all days I need a real home to go to.

"Hey. Don't worry about it. You know my folks love having you over." Josh's sympathetic voice lures me out of the daze. I realize I've stopped chewing.

"Sorry." I swallow, feeling the ball of food stretch its way to my hollow stomach.

"I always tell you, you don't have to be sorry."

I know Josh's parents take pity on me. They know I come from a very troubled family. My clothes are filthy because my mother never washes them. I'm always hungry because she never makes me anything. I don't know my father. My older brother ran away. And my stepfather is evil. Home is not home.

I feel like I'm taking advantage, but I don't want to go home. Home is where the worst things have happened. It rivals Eric Anderson and his assault team like they're a picnic in the park.

Josh doesn't know that.

Josh doesn't know anything about home; only that I have a troubled home life and the details are off the table to talk about. Josh takes the hint and for this, I'm grateful.

***

Gabriel

My body slouches against the school's concrete wall, surrendering to a moment of bodily peace. I managed to go to every class without Anderson seeing me. Pretending to be invisible is impossible while all eyes bear witness to my existence like the front cover of a tabloid magazine.

Is this what it's going to be like every day?

I notice my jeans are ripped below the pocket. If I wear these tomorrow, people will definitely identify them as the same pair of jeans. I sigh, digging my fingers between the frayed black threads. My fingers hit the plaid boxers underneath. I'll have to go home for another pair. Maybe Josh will let me borrow his. Is that weird?

A hand on my shoulder startles me out of my trance. The heat lingers for a moment, and then travels down my spine like a warm shower.

I stagger away to see Josh is laughing. "Jeeze, Anderson has you wired."

"Asshole. What the fuck?" I rub my neck and shoulder as if I have a muscle sore.

"Come on. It's me." Josh grins. "It's a joke."

He knows better than to touch. What's with him today?

"It's not funny." My voice shakes. My body collapses against the wall. Did he touch skin? It's still warm on my skin.

"Sorry." Josh's smile slowly drops. "I didn't think it would bother you that much. I'm your friend. I thought—"

"You thought what?" I spring from the concrete wall. "—that you're not included?" I grab my backpack and sling it over my violated shoulder. "Whatever, let's just go."

My insides want to explode, but walking will release that energy. I pretend I didn't hear my only friend say under his breath, "Maybe you should get over it."

***

Gabriel

Before heading to Josh's, we stop at the bookstore to read the latest in graphic novel releases—a ritual I love. We read comics cover to cover, alone in the far corner where no one bothers us. Reading is an escape from the real world, something to get absorbed into. The fantasies are far from my mom, stepfather, school and myself.

In a story, I can be normal; an outgoing guy, the one everyone wants to be friends with. The one everybody talks to. I can be a superhero that can actually touch, save innocent people and destroy the bad guys. I can have tons of friends. I can kiss girls like a normal guy.

In reality, I'm as insignificant as the dust ball underneath Mr. P's desk. Who cares about the kid in the Ramones hoodie? I'm no one special.

Sometimes I come across a character that hauntingly reminds me of who I really am; a mutant burdened with a strange defective soul in a hyper-sensitive body. Usually it's a minor character that dies in the first chapter. An Eric-Anderson-type kills me, but the novel is really about someone like Josh. He's more of the hero type; honest, charming, exciting, all of which I don't possess. I'm a lying, frightened beast whose unquenchable thirst for others is never satisfied. I'm the one he kills.

I look up at Josh's face obstructed by the book he's reading except for his blue eyes which are already watching me. For a moment too long we stare at each other. I switch my eyes back to the comic and then back to Josh who's still lingering on me. Why did he touch me? In the back of my mind I wonder if everything is okay between us.

"You hungry?" Josh lowers his book. His blue eyes haven't blinked; their still strangely glued to me. There's an intensity that wasn't there before. Maybe it's the store lighting. I suddenly feel awkward.

"Yeah, I'm always hungry."

"Let's get out of here." Josh's smile tips up to one side. A small dimple appears. Did he always have that? Maybe I'm over thinking it.

## Chapter Three

Gabriel

I love the walk to Josh's house. His neighborhood is on the nice side of town where people walk their dogs, wave hello and tend to their yards. Passing Craftsman style homes, I smell hyacinths, moist earth and fresh cut grass. I hope one day I can start a garden of my own, maybe even get a job as a gardener or landscaper. For now, I'll enjoy what my senses pick up.

The loud buzzing of chainsaws and a truck growling causes my stomach to turn. I don't like the sound of chainsaws. The abrupt noise cuts the air unnaturally. There's always a poor tree dying from angry metal.

Just as I had dreaded, there are men in bright yellow vests, cutting away at an old oak tree. From how thick the trunk looks it's pretty damn old.

"Why are they doing that?" I clench my backpack strap.

"Who knows? Maybe it's in someone's way."

"Maybe they're the ones in the way," I mumble.

"What?"

"Nothing." I don't expect Josh to understand. Most people walk through life numb to stepping on flowers and killing trees. Being a social exile helps me see through the fog; I'm not plagued with everyday habits that subdue the senses that come so naturally. It's part of being a human to take care of the other life forms around us. A dandelion is a weed, but to me it's an edible companion plant which benefits the soil, the air and attracts pollenating insects. An unwanted flower that everyone kills is a flower I can relate to.

I can't bear to look as we pass the blaring chainsaw.

My heart aches and wishes the trees soul to leave before the metal chains dig into it further. The ground we walk on is being disturbed. I know the other plants and trees can feel it too.

I grind my teeth. Why are people so cruel?

We distance ourselves from the killing as we approach Josh's house. I'm grateful for the distraction. His house is something out of a fifties movie. A yellow house with white shutters, white picket fence and a golden retriever named Goldie. She loves me. It's obvious after my first visit that my condition doesn't hurt animals or at least Goldie. She's always interested in what I smell like which is usually pretty awful according to Mrs. Masterson. She's always kind enough to wash my clothes. Mr. Masterson always welcomes me to a seat at their table. Josh must have told them about me, since they always let me eat at the end of the table to provide distance for my touching phobia.

I love being at Josh's. The family accommodates me; accepts me without really knowing me. They provide the feeling of a real family. The Mastersons really care for me. It's the closest to affection and real love I've felt without the guilt. Still, I don't belong here. There's always the possibility of getting too close, I'll end up hurting them.

"Hi, Gabriel!" Mrs. Masterson holds up a garlic clove. "From the garden."

I like that the Mastersons have a vegetable garden. It's the vegetables they use that make everything Mrs. Masterson cooks taste pure. "With that extra special ingredient—blood, sweat and tears," Mrs. Masterson jokes.

"That's three ingredients, Mom."

"Hush! Show him the peppers, Joshua."

Josh rolls his eyes, he clearly doesn't care about the peppers, but I do. I follow Josh to the backyard.

The Masterson's yard is like the Garden of Eden. One step through their double doors is stepping into heaven. Moss devours the cement walkway. Berry bushes engulf a less pleasing metal fence. The summer plants are still growing; their high stems and their leaves are uncurling for the blooming season. When the flowers appear, we'll be able to smell them in the house. To anyone, the garden may seem overgrown, but Mrs. Masterson lets the plants take on the natural shapes and lets them break out of their spaces.

Josh kneels and lifts the leafy jungle to reveal shiny red and green finger-like flesh dangling from their vines.

"You should just garden with her. Maybe you could save me the agony. She always makes me prep the ground with horse shit." His nose crinkles as if he can't stand smell it. I don't mind it at all. I would love to do that, but Josh is probably kidding, so I laugh with him.

***

Gabriel

Four days' worth of grime washes off my body. A gray stream escapes into the shower drain as if I had been coal mining. If it had only been that, but I had slept in a number of places since I was last at Josh's; one of them being an empty train car in a junkyard.

No staring at cold metal walls or struggling to keep from freezing. Josh has a warm bed for me on the other side of the door. We'll stay up much later then what should be allowed on a school night. The late-night movies air past midnight. I'm welcome to anything I want to eat from the Masterson's fridge. Reading the comics Josh purchased makes the time tick away. Sleepovers at the Masterson's are never long enough. I'd rather stay at Josh's as long as I can before I have to go to school or worse—home.

Tonight feels off.

The filthy water coming off me finally runs clean; it's time to come out, but I feel awkward. Taking a shower never felt this weird before. With Josh just outside the door, I'm starting to wonder about our closeness. What's worst is borrowing his clothes until his mom brings my washed ones. Any other night I would've stayed in my boxers, but tonight I wish I had my own clothes.

I listen as if a presence is at the bathroom door. Why am I so nervous? It's just Josh. Turning the doorknob I see him in bed flipping through channels.

"I thought you died in there" He doesn't even glance at me. "I was about to call my mom."

Maybe I'm overreacting. "Just what I need, your mom walking in on me."

"Better than my dad."

"True."

My backpack sits between Josh's bed and the sleeping bag that has become a permanent fixture. The heavy pack is used to measure the right distance and acts as an obstacle in case Josh decides to get up in the middle of the night, which thankfully he never does.

Sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed, Josh moves beside me. A warm sensation on his arm alerts me he's too close, so I shift away from him.

Josh turns off the television which darkens the room some. He's staring at the remote. His hair hangs over his eyes.

The awkward silence is starting to worry me. My nerves are giving me stomachache.

Josh places his hand between us. The warming sensation strokes my side, so I shift away again. Is Josh doing this on purpose?

This is longest friendship I've ever had. In the past, my friends dump me. They would tell me they weren't gay, or that I make them feel uncomfortable. Most of them felt ashamed that they felt those feelings toward me at all. It wasn't their fault; there's something wrong with me—it's my fault. No one can ever tell me otherwise because it's a fact. I could only hope that Josh will keep his distance. But too many close calls worry me, the signs are all there. I don't want to believe Josh will end our friendship, but he's starting to get curious which is worst. I feel eyes on me, he persistently moves into my space knowing very well how I don't like to be 'touched'. Simple things, everyday things, friend things like walking close, arm nudges, and now he's handing me things so our hands would touch. I'm not stupid. Josh is either trying to help me or he's testing me.

I think about all the times I wasn't as careful as I should've been. What was I doing wrong? I've gotten too comfortable. How could I fix this? I can't—I can only hope I'm wrong.

"What do you wanna watch tonight?" Josh asks.

Since when did it matter? He turned the TV off anyway. "I don't know. I'm pretty tired. I'll end up falling asleep." I play with a loose string. Josh is watching me too closely, and then leans in too closely. His energy heats my left side like a growing fire.

I get up.

"What's up with you today?" Josh says.

"Nothing, I'm just tired," I massage my neck. The heat is stuck to my skin like a lingering kiss.

"All day you've been acting weird. And I'm not talking about Eric Anderson." Josh stands up.

My insides are starting to boil and my skin is vibrating. It feels good and I want to feel more, but Josh is my friend.

He steps closer examining my face for something.

I exhale deeply from the burning sensation. Josh shouldn't be this close. My hands want to reach out, but I clench them at my sides.

"I knew it. You can feel it too." Josh steps closer.

"What?" I try to look surprised, but I'm a terrible liar.

"Oh, come on, Gabriel, every time I get close, you automatically back away. There's a feeling. It isn't just about being touched is it?"

I avoid his gaze. Backing away every time Josh approaches until my back hits the bathroom door.

"Gabriel. What is this?" Josh's voice shakes.

I feel my friend's heat wash over me.

"It's like my skin is being pulled and my blood rushes forward. It's you. Isn't it?"

It's unavoidable. I'm about to lose another friend. Josh's breathing picks up and I watch my friend's eyes search mine.

"Gabriel, you know what this is, don't you?"

I don't know how to answer, my body is starting up and I can feel Josh invading.

"You're doing it. You're making this feel—"

"Josh, please—"

The sound of his voice doesn't sound friendly, it sounds erotic. I hate it.

This unwanted arousal increases like a volcano ready to erupt. He's watching me so closely. I have to look away. It's hard to hold back as tears flooding my eyes. I'm praying Josh doesn't touch me. Oh God, please not him.

Josh touches my shoulder. The magnetic force is hard to hold back, like a tsunami it's about to force itself on my best friend's body.

Josh jumps back at the sudden knock at the door, and I slip into the bathroom. I hear Josh's mom tell him my clothes are clean and if we wanted any snacks.

I sit on the floor with the door locked. After hearing Mrs. Masterson leave, Josh attempts the doorknob.

"Please let me in. I just want to—"

I feel something. With the door between us, Josh stays on the other side quietly. But I know he's basking in a chemical cocktail of curiosity and desire. Delighted in it, I lean against the door where I can feel Josh more intensely without hurting him. A rush of excitement almost makes me open the door, but I wrestle with it. I know Josh wants sexual contact. It's a physical reaction to me Josh has no control over.

My legs won't stop moving, a need for the sexual fix is making my body protest the separation. I've never cut-off the cycle when it starts. I'll have to open the door at some point. As I wrestle my urges, Josh giving in to his. I'm making Josh touch himself. My guilt begins to overtake the sexual desire and I move into the tub away from the door. The space between us will give them both a chance to collect ourselves.

An hour passes before I approach the door to feel if Josh's presence still lurks on the other side. I don't sense him. Opening the bathroom door, I see Josh sitting on the floor, in the shadows. He has his arms resting on his knees, his face an undefinable in the dark.

My clothes are just outside the bathroom, so I grab them and dress. I leave the bathroom while Josh's eyes follow me. I decide that staying here will be wrong, so I grab my backpack and leave.

## Chapter Four

Gabriel

I'm relieved to see my stepfather's truck is not in the driveway. Garden cherubs and flowers make the house look innocent enough for anyone to call home—not me. This place holds hurtful memories.

Walking into the house, more religious angels, crosses—a Jesus invasion. This isn't my home. My God fearing mother believes heart and soul that I'm not her son, but something evil. Often spitting random prayers under her breathe when I'm in the house. There have been multiple incidences she'd invited priests over to exorcise me. She claims I'm possessed with demons. I remember vividly at eight years old, strapped to a chair as they poured holy water and shoved crosses in my face assuming it would drive out whatever was inside of me.

At this point in my life, I wish my mother was right. If only the burden could be removed. I know it's my fault. She feels and thinks unnatural things for me. Unnatural mental thoughts about your son will lead you to think he's a demon. Maybe I am. I don't feel bad for her. I don't feel anything for her. She's ignored what has been happening under her roof with me for years; things that cannot be undone.

I'm older now, coming and going as I please. I'm rarely home. If an unfamiliar car is in the driveway then I have to find another place to sleep for the night. Tonight I have nowhere to sleep.

My mother immediately starts her praying ritual, following me around the house at a safe distance, splashing holy water, holding her rosary tight enough to leave an impression in her palm. My foot hits the stairs and she backs away. She never follows. She knows the devil's room is upstairs.

My bedroom is peaceful without her presence, but it still isn't what I'd call heaven. Terrible things happened to me there. Things that happened on my bed are the worst; I'll never sleep in it again. The nest of dingy pillows and unwashed blankets on the floor is my new bed, but even the floor is tainted.

My stepfather loathes me, wishing I was more like Daniel, my older brother, but it didn't stop him from comparing my beautiful eyes to my brother's. Daniel left; leaving me alone to fend off my stepfather.

I lock the door with a deadbolt. Now-a-days my stepfather doesn't bother me; he's never home. When he is, it's time to leave.

I look at myself in the mirror. My piercing green eyes are tired; I can't bear to look at them too long. Beautiful eyes are what my stepfather liked about Daniel, a characteristic he and I share. My jet black hair is damp and my skin clean for now from Josh's house.

I settle on the unwashed pile. The musty smell of a blanket that hasn't seen the washer in years is draped across my clothed body. My legs curl and my sneakers stay on to keep my feet warm.

I'm still wearing Josh's underwear.

I stuff my face in a bunched shirt I'm using as a pillow. The crying tires me to thoughtlessness until my eye lids are too heavy and my breathing evens out to sleep.

***

Gabriel

Without my backpack, and more importantly without my hoodie, I brace myself. I'm standing on Main Street well aware that I'm without the one thing that usually protects me from prying eyes—but there are no people.

The sun is a little past its peak. The street is empty of the usual lunchtime hustle and bustle.

I habitually stuff my hands in my pockets and my shoulders hunch in attempt to hide even though there seems to be no one to hide from. I glance up at a shop window only to see my reflection doing just the opposite.

My mirror image stands tall with his shoulders confidently back. The green in his eyes are too bright for it to be mine and the sinister grin doesn't display correctly my own quivering lips. My reflection's hand rubs his chest and digs his fingernails where his heart is.

I look down at my own body in which my hands have not moved from my pockets.

My reflection's hand breaks flesh and reaches into his chest. My hands retreat from my pockets and touch the area over my rapidly beating heart. My reflection pulls out his coated black hand. The blood-like substance oozes out of my reflection's chest until his jeans are dyed in the unnatural shade of black.

Instinctively, my feet move away from the window of illusion to notice that black blood is seeping out around the window frame, dripping onto the pavement at my feet.

I stumble back as the blackness pools quickly. It creeps toward me. My mirror image's black blood is endlessly flooding out of his chest. His mouth opens and more of the evil liquid seeps out.

I run.

A brief look behind me, the blood paints the walkway into tar. My own shadow is following me. The other shop windows are blackening as if the reflection is also chasing me.

I reach an intersection. All of the stores close their doors and shut their blinds. I walk into the street to watch the sidewalks change from pavement to black tar. The sun is veiled in dark clouds; the warm afternoon turns to a cold night in an instant. There's nowhere else to run without stepping into the fearsome shadows.

Everything is painted in darkness—except one door. An antique shop is untainted and the path to it unchanged. I walk to it with the dark substance pulsing at the edges of the path; frightened of the light casting from the shop's lamp.

I go into the shop and immediately feel relief in the atmosphere. Nothing is oozing anywhere. I peek out of the door window. It seems night has fallen and Main Street looks normal for the exception of no people; nothing is going on outside. All traces of the nightmarish scene have disappeared. I'm not taking any chances and decide to hang out in the shop for a bit.

A pile of bowls wobbles when my elbow hits them. A deer horn coat rack nearly takes out an eye. I'm used to places like this; often browsing to delay the time before having to go home. It's seems like an ordinary place, yet it feels not—maybe because it isn't contaminated with the black stuff.

I follow a narrow path among the disarray of items. The labyrinth of stuff leads to the back of the store where the shop keeper catches my eye. All shop keepers tend to look the same; cookie cutter old men with reading glasses, but this one is different. He looks too young and too attractive to fit the mold.

I usually avoid the counter where the shopkeeper sits. They usually watch me browse, thinking I might steal their junk. Right now all I want to do is go to the counter to take a closer look at the handsome man.

The shopkeeper is tending to another boy, so I wait patiently at the very far end of the counter. As I get closer to listen, I get a good look at the man behind the counter. His simple black clothes, black hair is a lot like mine. His eyes are the most striking—gray, no wait blue. No. I swear that they're changing color. It's so fast I miss the transition from one to the next. What's even stranger than the rainbow eyes is the attraction I feel toward him; a need to know this man like I would a pretty girl.

I approach the counter and overhear the boy's name—Alex. He reminds me of Josh with the dirty blond hair, only taller. I can tell from the way he looks, he's one of those popular boys girls seem to naturally be drawn too. He has an older look and a more defined jaw than boys my age. The way he stands shows he's a confident guy; probably plays sports. Yes, this Alex is the ones girls want. Alex browses at the various weaponry and war collectibles displayed in the counter case.

Alex points to a dark green helmet.

The shopkeeper smiles and opens the case to retrieve it.

"It's an M1 helmet; it was standard to the American military for forty years. This one is from 1941 to '42. Check the shell liner," the shopkeeper smiles. I like his voice and I want him to keep talking. The register of his voice is just as pleasing as the sight of him.

Alex flips the helmet over. I see on the fiber liner a faint double "A". Alex places it on his head. The boy's face lights up.

"I don't hear a thing. It's finally quiet."

"It should do the trick," the shopkeeper smiles.

"How much?" Alex digs into his pockets.

"You've already paid." The man hands him a photo. "Here's your receipt."

"Oh," Alex stares at the photo.

It isn't a receipt. I catches a glimpse of the photo—a girl's face. Alex seems content with his transaction and leaves.

The man behind counter looks at me, forcing my unworthy eyes to shy away. My scalp begins to prickle as he approaches. I feel weak, like crashing after a sugar rush, but I'm not sleepy. My heart is pumping a little faster and a strange sensation in the front of my body makes me want to get closer to the shopkeeper. I never wanted to obey a bodily craving before—it's a terrible thing, but this is different. This is the opposite of what I usually feel with the force between myself and another. The man has an overwhelming gravity. His beautiful eyes flicker from one color to the next like a kaleidoscope, luring me closer.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel." The man's voice is sincere, but there is an attractive quality in it that matches the personal gravity that tugs at my body.

How does he know my name?

The invisible tension subsides. I know this feeling is like my own lure, but how is it suddenly diminished? If he's like me, how come the gravity stops without him moving away?

"I'm Red," he holds out his hand for a shake. I'm afraid.

"You don't have to be frightened." His voice still has a character that makes me want Red to keep talking. My eyes switch from the shopkeeper's lips to his eyes. It's hard not to stare at such a handsome face and such other-worldly eyes. I look at his out stretched hand and shake it.

The touch is not at all what I was expecting. It feels like... nothing—a first for me and a relief. I want to ask how he made the sensation go away and how I don't feel anything at all now.

"You remind me of me." Red smiles and his eyes settle on a sapphire color.

How can that be? I know I'm ugly inside and dirty outside. My actions are perverted and so is my history as a human being. I can't even keep from losing a friend. I'm nothing. My mouth closes and tightens at my own self-loathing. Red is mistaken.

"No need to beat yourself up. You are just the opposite what you think you are." Red's eyes blink and this simple, yet natural bodily habit is beyond beautiful. "Like you, I used to think I can only be one way. But for you, Gabriel, you can be many ways. Take a garden for instance, in each season, it changes with the climate; cold and dormant; warm and blossomed.

My mouth parts, but not a word comes out. No one has ever said something so kind and something so beautiful about me in all my life. I can't be a garden. I'm more of a weed in a pretty garden.

"You know better about weeds, Gabriel." Red's brow lifts.

He's right. How does he know that? Weeds are not what they seem, yet people are always quick to pull them out of their garden. I hate that.

"I know you've adapted—survived," Red's forehead creases, "without any help. For that I'm deeply sorry. But I can see that you're strong, brave and beautiful."

Before I can oppose, Red turns away to climb a step stool.

"I have something for you." He reaches for a small wooden box on top of a book case full of strange masks. One of them is black with a strange grin that looks like the reflection I ran from. He places the box on the counter. Black birds with ornate leaves and vines carved all around it. Red pushes the box to me. For me? I open the box and see a golf ball sized orb glowing like a light bulb. Upon touching it, the ball disintegrates into my fingertips. A tingling sensation rides through my hand and up my arm until the feeling is gone.

"I'm sorry." I look up to Red. "I didn't mean to kill it."

"Those are funny first words," Red laughs.

First words? I realize I haven't said a word until now.

"You seem to understand that it's living. It's not dead, Gabriel. It's alive inside you. For now it will ensure your seasonal transition from one way to another more quickly. You'll keep it until you don't need it. When you understand who you really are, you can give it away.

"Give it away? But it's inside me." How can something be sucked into me like that? People are lured to me; I take and take but never give. Giving means getting close, it means...

"Don't be afraid to let your true self out."

The thought is frightening. Being close is the worst thing I could ever do. I can't burden anyone ever again, especially because of what I did to mom and Josh. Red is mistaken; he can't possibly understand what it's like to only take.

Blood drips down Red's forehead. His fingers touch the blood and Red looks at it with a worrisome expression.

"You're bleeding."

Red fakes a smile as if the bleeding didn't matter. "One more thing, Gabriel—" in an instant, a girl comes to my mind. An older girl with thick brown wavy hair, brown eyes and a smile to die for brings a strange feeling that I care for her, but can't place a single memory of ever meeting her. How can I care for someone I don't know?

The light in the shop flickers.

"She'll be looking for you." Red shuts his eyes. More blood drips from his forehead. "Trust her, Gabriel."

I suddenly feel sick. Something about the atmosphere changed. I look behind him. The black substance is suddenly covering everything in the shop, inching closer like black lava. Red's nose bleeds. He falls back against the bookcase.

"Gabriel, don't be afraid, it's only you." Red's voice is weak.

I clench the box in my hands, looking for an exit, but there's nowhere to go. The black stuff reaches behind the shop keeper's counter, creeping up the walls. It's going to swallow me up. The antique shop goes dark. I tremble as the substance grabs hold of my ankles and creeps up my legs. Unable to move, I shout for Red. My arms stretch out in the direction behind the counter where he had stood. The warm sticky substance covers my body until I feel it swallow my head and force its way into my mouth.

I wake up sweating and my heart beats out of my chest. I've never felt so relieved to be in my room. I can't shake the feeling someone is watching me. I search the room, but the inspection turns up empty. An instinctual feeling that something actually happened to me nags at the back of my mind. A tingling sensation runs up my arm and down my spine like that strange ball of light in my strange dream.

## Chapter Five

Gabriel

Going to school is a bad idea, but I need to see Josh. I need to explain. I need to reconnect our friendship somehow. I know it's impossible to salvage but I want to at least try. I'd run into Josh sooner or later. The whole day was a bust; Josh didn't show for his classes.

After school, I figure we'd meet at the bookstore. I'm haunted by the idea of not being friends with him. I'd be alone, talk to no one and never visit the Masterson home again. I was friends with him the longest and it breaks my heart to think we can never be friends again. How will I confront him?—Sorry I made you want to have sex with me. It sounds so stupid.

I stand in front of the bookstore like an idiot. I lean against the wall, debating on going inside because I can't go home. I decide to go in considering the odds of seeing him; dealing with Josh is better than dealing with my psychotic mom and perverted stepfather.

I drop my book bag on the floor thinking about how we could start over if we're to meet here tonight. The empty adjacent space where my best friend used to sit makes my chest hurt. I check the time. He should be here by now I scan the area for a sign of him.

Movement catches my eye behind bookcase. A small person wearing a baseball cap and an oversized hoodie is watching me. I suspect it's someone from school. From the small frame, round jaw and pouty lips, the spy is a girl. She's pretending to read while her eyes glance at me every few seconds.

How awkward. I hope I didn't accidentally graze her in the hall at school. I don't need another stalker. If I ignore her, she'll eventually go away. But after an hour she doesn't. Every once in a while I'd peek up from my comic book and there she is, pretending not to spy. She's terrible at it. I stay until the store closes. Thankfully, the girl keeps her distance. It's dark when I leave the store and of course the girl follows me. I was extra careful today at school; it was clear of any close calls and touching, so why is this girl following me? Even if I did graze her, her curiosity would've withered away by the day's end. She's smaller than me, so if she's trouble, I can out run her. Knowing these streets better than anyone, I'll lose her.

I turn down an alley swiftly and darts to the end and hide behind a dumpster.

The stalker pauses at the alley opening, but decides to walk pass. I wait before leaving my hiding spot, exiting the other end of the alley. She isn't around; she must be still prowling on the main street.

Turning the corner quickly, I smack in to someone. My body vibrates like the hum of a drum. The sensation doesn't settle but builds far too quickly for me to get a handle on my equilibrium. I'm pulled forward by an unseen force. This is far different and far more powerful than the usual sensitivity. It peels away just as quickly as it came. I advance to the stranger in pursuit of gratification, but to my surprise the person steps back. I've never been resisted before. People always obey the body's requests for pleasure.

"Stop!"

It's the stalker. She backs away, breathing heavily from the contact. Her heart must be beating as fast as mine. I want gratification. I want her. She must have an appetite. She notices my hand grasping my belt and her distressed eyes look to my face. A soft peep from her mouth alerts me that's she's frightened. I've only seen that face on my brother when that monster went after him. Am I just like my stepfather? Am I about to hurt her? I'm overwhelmed with shame. I can't believe what I was about to do. I quickly hide behind the dumpster to fight my body needs to finish. I listen for the girl, but it's quiet. Did she leave? I'm afraid of facing her. I don't want to find out even if my body is begging me to. I don't trust myself. My hands tighten around my backpack straps to push back the desire to please myself. It's the second time I've held back.

I look down the alley. I can run... or I can find that girl and we could do it right here in the alley. She'd want to. I recall her expression. She didn't seem to want it. I would be hurting her for sure if I seek her out. I grip the backpack straps. I look down the alley. I have to run. I have to shake this off.

Before my body changes my mind I get up and run. The tension releases and I feel lighter because of it. Footsteps follow behind me. I can't believe it. It's her.

"Gabriel!" the girl shouts.

She has to be from school. How else would she know my name?

I quickly turn down an alley and hide behind another dumpster to catch my breath. She's surprisingly fast.

"Gabriel, please I am not going to hurt you." She shouts down the alley.

I want to laugh. Of course she isn't going to hurt me. I'd be the one hurting her.

"Red sent me to find you."

Red?—It sounds familiar.

"He said you met him in an antique shop in your dream."

The shopkeeper? How does she know that? Is she the girl Red said to trust? But I can't remember what she looks like. My body's reaction to her has settled. I smile for the small victory. What are the chances of her throwing herself at me and rebooting the whole situation again? I'll take the chance and hear her out since she mentioned Red.

I come out from behind the dumpster and the girl seems to keep a cautious distance between us, something I've never seen before with people I've accidentally collided with. I take a good look at her; her face is still obscured by the ball cap and her baggy clothing reveals nothing. She's small. I could've really hurt her. She's nervously fiddling with her fingers trying to sum up something to say.

"What do you want?" I help her out.

"I need you and you need me."

Which need did she mean?

"I know about your burden and I can help."

"What burden?" I test.

"The one that sexually lures people."

Hearing her say it like that makes my cheeks burn. She couldn't have known this with our collision.

"What do you want?" I clutch my backpack strap.

"Red sent me. I can help you, but you have to come with me."

How is it that Red is real? He is a dream. How does this Red person know me? How did she know about my 'burden'?

"Gabriel, we can help each other. If you help me, Red will help you. He knows what you've been going through. Please come with me."

It sounds good not to go home, but I don't know her. I can't trust a total stranger, but in the end it doesn't matter, I will never get close to anyone. I have nothing to lose; I've already lost everything else. "Okay."

"I'm Violet." The girl smiles under the shadow of her ball cap.

It's difficult to get a good look at her when every step I take, she steps back. Good.

"Gabriel, you have to stay this distance away from me. It's safer for the both of us."

If I touch people, they go crazy. Maybe when I bumped into her, it scared her into being overly cautious. Twelve feet seems like overkill.

"Why?" I test again.

She hesitates at first, "Because we both have abilities, so the pull is stronger." I assume the pull she's referring to is the magnetic feeling when we bumped into each other.

"What do you have that makes it happen like that?"

She ignores me again. "There is one more thing...." she begins, "well, maybe two more things. We have to meet two others like us."

"Wait, there are others like me?"

"Not like you exactly. Just people with abilities."

Abilities? More like a condition.

"I know this is asking a lot but. I won't hurt you. Will you come with me?"

"Yeah. I don't want to go home anyway," I say like it's no big deal but it means a great deal. It means I'm not alone.

## Chapter Six

Alex

I open my test booklet. The first question is barely read when the voices of the minds around me sound off one by one with the answer.

_Answer is... B. Majority rules_.

I pencil in the oval with the letter _B_ and listens for a tally on question two.

I can remember most answers if I tried, but it's easier to listen then to think. I can hear thoughts all day. It doesn't make sense to study when I'll hear the answers anyway. Cheating doesn't seem so bad when everything is based on memorization. How much of this shit will I care about when I'm running my own music label?

Telepathy is useful this way. It helps me say the right thing when I'm called on in class to answer questions. Teachers love me because I'm always _'paying attention'_. But I have no choice. Voices flood into my head where I can barely hear myself think. The volume can be too much sometimes, but once in a while the voices soften just enough so I can actual focus on at least one person. Sometimes it's the wrong person. Garrett Kellerman, for one, has the hots for our homeroom teacher, Mr. Woodrow. How a guy sees another guy's ass, as far as attraction goes, is not what I want to hear first thing in the morning.

Most of the time I want to turn it off—if I knew how, I fucking would. Playing sports is no fun when I know every God damn move of my opponents. That's no fun. My lacrosse coach loves me for my _'uncanny sense'_. It does have its perks; my team loves the victory parties and I love the attention. Reading minds is like serving life on a silver platter. But using my ability this way isn't how I want to win championships, earn grades, and keep friends. It reminds me every day, how I haven't earned anything on my own. I feel bad about that. Sometimes I don't feel like the MVP; I feel like a total loser—a cheater. I don't do it 'cause I like it. I do it out of habit. Habits die hard—mine doesn't die at all.

I complete my test without reading the questions. Once the answers are heard, it's hard to stop. I aim to please and the straight A's are addictive.

'A' for addictive.

I hand the booklet to the teacher, who smiles approvingly—he doesn't expect any less from Alexander Aisling.

At my desk, I wait for the bell with the high achievers that finished early. Another reminder that maybe I'm not like those kids, I don't study. Looking around the classroom, Madison catches my eye—one of the _smart ones_ , but also a pretty girl. That's a hot combo. She smiles at me with her nice full lips I'd love to chew on. I give her a wink. She averts her eyes like she doesn't care, but her flustered cheeks and her mind tell me I've caught another one. I love doing that to girls and best of all I love listening to them.

Did Alex Aisling just wink at me? Oh my God! Is he still looking...

Madison briefly looks my way. I smile and mouth _'Hi'._

He is! He's looking at me!

I have about a minute before the bell rings.

Bet he'll be at Jake's party.

I'm always at Jake's parties. You're nobody if you don't show your face even if your face is denied entry. Jake is one of my best friends and what kind of a friend would I be if I couldn't make it to one of the hottest nights before prom.

The bell rings and I wait outside of the class for Madison.

"Hey, Madison!"

She looks behind her as if there's another Madison. Her surprised sky-blue eyes nervously avert away.

"Hey." _I can't believe he's talking to me right now._

"Are you going to Jake's party tonight?" I invade her personal space; reach for the heart charm dangling from her bracelet. She flinches and her face turns red, but I finally got her to really look at me.

"Uh, y-yeah are you going?" she hugs her books to her chest. _Oh my God, his eyes are amber._

"Yeah, what kind of a friend would I be if I didn't?"

"Oh, right." _He's Jake's best friend. I'm so stupid!_

"I was hoping maybe we could meet up there," I lower my voice and look at her lips briefly, "and get to know each other better."

Madison's mouth parts and her arms squeeze her books tighter. "Yes, definitely. Yes!" _Am I going to get to run my fingers through that blonde hair?_

"Alright. I'll see you there." I allow my eyes linger in hers for a moment to savor the glory of another easy lay. I display my notoriously sexy smile and walk away listening to Madison's mind explode as her friends nag her for details.

At my locker, I can hear Jake and Pete already making fun of my inflated ego. It's easy for me because my telepathy puts me at the top of the fuck-food-chain, but to my friends, I'm just the pretty boy.

"Poor girl doesn't know she is just a notch in Alex the Great's belt. You'd think they'd learn by now." Pete slams his back into the locker next to mine. "You're like the new ecstasy. If you were a pill I'd sell your ass to Jane Griffin."

I cringe. "Jane has a beard."

"And Madison?"

"—Doesn't."

Pete snickers.

"What? I like her." I glance back at Madison with her gossipy friends. One of them squeals when I look.

"No you don't. You like her sweet ass and her enormous—" Pete hands motion to his chest like he's handling two melons.

"Eyes." I finish. "She's got nice eyes."

"If what you mean by her 'nice eyes', you actually saying her 'tight ass' then yes—she's got a nice tight ass."

"As longs as you're not in my dad's den again. I got shit for that last time." Jake nods at a group of girls giggling past. "I had to clean that up you know."

I smile, recalling the last party Jake had. I left his dad's desk in shambles. Heather Walker's ass slid straight across the desk. My hands shoved everything from the desktop to the floor, trying to grab something for leverage.

Jake's thoughts interrupt the sex with Heather, wondering when I'd pay him for the alcohol. I reach into his pocket and change my mind. I have to remember to pay him later. I have to be careful about reading their minds and responding to them so quickly because they don't know I'm a telepath. The trouble is I'll probably forget. It isn't that I don't care. It's that my head is overloaded with voices and remembering something just adds to the load.

The bell rings and we reach for the packed cafeteria. At the center, an empty table reserved for me and my buds. No one will take our seats; or sit in a seat you haven't sat at in the last three years in Rembrandt high school. It's assigned by clique—the natural order of high school culture. Like a band taking stage all eyes rest on us; beautiful faces and friendly conversations keep us at the top of everyone's friend lists. My table is the one everyone wishes they could sit at. It's a joy to be loved and I love the attention. 'A' for attention.

Lunch is loud today; too many voices usually sends me to the bathroom or outside for some peace. I can't pass up lunchtime even if it hurts. My reputation is too important. Tonight is Jake's party and showing my face at lunchtime marks tonight _the_ night. I'll have to make do with the migraine.

I plop in the seat next to Pete's girlfriend Cheryl Warren. The sixties tune 'You don't own me' instantly plays on repeat in my head every time I see her lethally sexy face. She's a hot addition to the center table. Her cool seductive gray eyes see right through me. Her long strands of her hair fall to her back like a sheet of black silk. Her slender legs cross like the hot guidance counselor who's rumored to not wear any underwear. I know Cher wears underwear—the black lacey kind.

"Hey, Cher."

"Hey Blondie. Heard you tried out for the summer play. The Tin Man? That hot bod shouldn't be covered in some fake cardboard costume."

I try to ignore her comment, but this is just a punishment for sleeping with my best friend's girl. "No tin for Tin man. They're modernizing it. I'm not sure I'm getting the part anyway."

"Oh, you got the part. I'm sure of it." Cher's foot rubs against my leg. "You always get the part."

I move my leg away from hers as Pete sits on Cher's other side, his arms claim her waist.

"Hey Babe," Pete kisses her long and hard for the whole lunch room to watch. She's more like arm candy than a girlfriend to him. Cher knows it and doesn't care. Her teasing eyes shift my way, making it difficult to forget all the times Cher and I were 'bored'.

"I'll see you tonight." Jake takes a few handshakes and fist bumps. "All of you." He invites the entire wrist-slitters table. "551 Harrison Street, Seven o'clock."

Jake finally takes his seat after his party advertising tour around the lunchroom. "You okay, man?" Pete asks.

"I just have a headache." I stare at Cher's hand rubbing Pete's inner thigh. She's good with her hands.

Cher's lips pull away from Pete. "They won't come. Not all of them and half of them won't make it inside anyway. Why do you bother inviting them?" Cher pouts.

"You said so yourself. Half of them won't come." Jake smirks.

"As for the other half, Hunter's crew will drop kick them at the door," Pete laughs. "He's like our crowd control."

"Exactly." Jake pops open a soda. "But at least the others could say they were there. It's not like I didn't invite them."

Cher pulls away from Pete completely. "Don't pretend you're doing them a favor by inviting them. The football morons you invited discriminate. It's like you do it on purpose."

"What? I invite everyone. It's not my problem if they can't get in. What do you care? It's not like you're friends with those emo-losers anyway."

"But you raise your beer and hi-five when they're beat up on your front lawn like a pay-per-view event."

"It kinda is. That's what makes it so entertaining." Pete chimes in. "What's a party without someone taking a beating? There's nothing like the football team doing what meatheads do best."

"You're an asshole." She grabs her bag; a threat she'll leave the table.

Pete rolls his eyes. "Sit down, Cher?"

"You're just a bunch of hypocrites pretending to be all buddy-buddy with everyone."

"And that's news to you? You've never complained before. Matter of fact I remember specifically you laughing you ass off when Lucas Reiner was running around with a half shaved head and boxers over his pants," Jake says.

Pete chuckles. "I remember that. He actually made it into the house."

"I let him stay since he was following Kate Pierson around. I hate that bitch."

"Alex?"

The sound of my name makes my temple throb.

Cher clenches her bag. "Tell him inviting Hunter's crew is a bad idea."

"You can't _not_ invite the football team, Cher." Jake twists his mouth.

"Then don't invite the people that won't get in. Alex? You can't possibly agree—"

I can't look at her. Why does she keep pulling me in like I'll take her side? If my answer makes her leave, than maybe it won't ruin my friendship with Pete. "Get over it. It's just the way it is."

Cher stalks off. Pete curses under his breath. Her leaving from the center table might start some gossip, but it's not something Pete can't bounce back from.

"Someone isn't getting laid tonight," Jake sings.

"Shut up!" Pete's voice fades as I shut my eyes.

My headache has reached its limit. Nausea has taken up residence and its rising. I'll have to leave the center table for fresh air, but Cher had just left. It's too suspicious and it would start a lot of gossip. Luckily Madison's voice emerges from across the cafeteria. Focusing on her for purpose and pleasure will hopefully make the other voices fade. Sinking my mind into hers, I'm like a thought vampire, feeding my ego with her foolish girly thoughts; the sound of her voice mulling over what she'll wear to the party, how her friend Christine is _totally jealous_ , _Alex Aisling wants to hook up_ and she can't eat because she's too excited. Her voice is soothing to my mind's ear. The sick feeling leaves me as the other voices soon soften like a distant hum of a highway.

## Chapter Seven

Alex

Cher appears in my peripheral when I shut my locker. She's standing near the end of the hall. Our eyes connect. I know to follow her. The second bell rings when I leave the building and see her get in her white VW. I quickly sweep the parking lot for a sign of Pete before I step into the car.

"You're such an asshole." Her tearing eyes don't leave the steering wheel.

I stare at her. I know what she wants when we meet in her car, but she's crying. She wants to know why I didn't defend her at lunch. If she wants to talk then I'd rather be in class. She isn't my responsibility. Why would she think I could console her? Cher looks at my hand, which still rests on the release handle. She's scared I'll leave. She doesn't look as pretty when her brow wrinkles.

"Why didn't you say something?" She grips the steering wheel.

"What did you expect me to say? I'm not agreeing with you over my best friend. You know how suspicious we'd look? And I don't appreciate you singling me out like that."

Her forehead rests on the steering wheel. Her thoughts start rolling in like a storm. _I used to be like them; those outcasts. Some of them are still my friends. I thought he cared about me. Doesn't he care about me?_

Fuck me! I shouldn't have gotten into this car. I grind my teeth. I don't want this. I don't want my best friend's girlfriend to get attached. I don't want to get to know her any more than I already know. For as long as I've known her, she's always been separate from those other groups; she's a part of our circle. But now, she's rehashing some old shit; revisiting all of her insecurities. She's scared of what will happen to some of her old friends. She still talks to them. What would they think of her if they're messed with at the party? She scared to be with Pete and she thinks she loves me. I don't want to be part of her identity crisis. She knows the deal—we fuck—that's it.

"You're basically saying you don't care."

"Why would I?" She's thinks she loves me. Fuck that shit. "They're right, Cher. Who cares?"

"I care."

Why am I still in this shitty car? "Well, I couldn't care less." I pull the door handle.

"No." Cher leans over and her hands grab my thigh. There's desperation in her eyes, I've never seen before. She doesn't want me to leave. I still haven't given her what she wants, but caring for is her boyfriend's job. "Please." Her voice sounds anxious. She's always so beautiful and composed, but now her face is red and seems so vulnerable, she's falling apart. Who knew she'd be attractive when she begs.

No. I have to get a grip. "I can't do this anymore. Pete's my best friend."

"Then you don't want me to tell him." Her cat eyes are staring hungrily. The weak girl from a moment ago vanishes. Her hands are like claws digging into my thigh. "I was going to tell him if this doesn't work out."

This? This isn't anything. Bitch.

Cher reaches under her skirt and pulls off her panties. She's still offering herself even though she'd rather talk about her problems. She wants me to be close. She'll do anything. I can only get so close. She should know by now I don't roll like that. I glance at her panties which she throws in the backseat. I can't think of a reason anymore. She still wants to do it.

I shut the door and shift over on the seat to make room for her. I unzip my jeans and pulls them down a bit. She climbs on top of me.

She's trying to not to cry; trying to hold it together. This isn't what she wants; she wants to talk and she wants me to listen. I can see it in her eyes, she wants me to care for her, but I can't. A serious relationship with me is impossible—she knows that. I look away from her eyes and thrusts inside of her even though she's silently crying. I turn my lips away when she attempts to kiss me. She'll give her all to me anyway. I will still get what I want without giving her what she needs in return. If this is what I have to do to keep my best friend, Pete from knowing; if this is what will shut her up, then I won't stop.

## Chapter Eight

Alex

After school I head to the music room. It's the one thing I don't do with Jake, Pete or Cher. It isn't hanging out at the coffee house, drinking beers behind the school or fucking in the parking lot. It certainly isn't like Jake's parties.

It's a sanctuary from everything that's supposed to matter. Mrs. Rubio allows free range on all the band instruments and stereo equipment. It's not a club—at least not officially, but it should be. It's more like a music lover's paradise; a place to share ideas, to collaborate, to make music, sing and dance. If I could be myself, it's here in the music room with these students and Mrs. Rubio. Evenings here are long and it's usually a party in itself. Today, I'll stay as long as I can before Jake's party. I need to clear my head.

Walking down the noisy hall is the only thing between me and the sweet sounds that drowns out everyone's thoughts including my own. Mrs. Rubio's piano calls to me like the Pied Piper. The noisy hallway of students and teachers soon leave my ears as I open the door to sweet relief. The large room echoes the musical bliss in such a way it refreshes my mind from the burdening static of living outside of this room.

The same faces smile when I enter. Music lovers tuning their instruments; singers warming their voices; dancers stretching their bodies; Mrs. Rubio bouncing hands play Mozart's piano sonata number eleven; Alla Turca (Allegretto).

Her face lights up as I enter the room. "Ah, Alexander!" I love the way she says my name with her heavy Spanish accent. Her fingers, swing into a less choppy, familiar tune. The key strokes are slowed down and they connect smoothly together.

"That's beautiful. What is it?"

"Rolling Stones." Her brilliant teeth bring me to smile. "Tony let me borrow his CD."

"I've never heard them like that." I look closely at her joyful expression. Her face looks thirty-something, but the minor lines around her eyes reveal she's older. Her smooth skin and dyed red hair trick the eyes. "Have you looked in to the schools I recommended?"

"Ah..." I avert my eyes.

Mrs. Rubio presses her fingers down like a child throwing a tantrum, the keys blare out noise, destroying the song. "Alexander!" I've seen that penetrating gaze before. My adoptive mother does it when my grades aren't to Aisling standards. "You must stay with your passion. Your dancing, your singing, your music, Alexander. Isn't it what you want?"

"Yes. It is, but—"

Her slender frame gracefully rises from the piano bench. "No. No. No, _but!_ You listen here," She points to my heart. "Not here." Her finger springs off my forehead. "You're parents give you trouble?"

"No, not exactly."

"Then you are de problem, Alexander. De head."

She's right. If she only knew how much of _de head_ is a burden to me. Sometimes I want to tell her I can read minds because she's the only one that gets me. It sounds pitiful just to tell my teacher and not his friends.

Her painted fingernails daintily motions to the piano. I don't hesitate and place my books down. I know what to play for her. Mrs. Rubio motions to another student to dance with her. I begin to play a popular love song I always thought Bobby Darin sung best. I don't need the music sheet; I know it by heart.

I'm good at this. I have to be if I want to stay sane. I can feel everything fall away from me like I'm a bird lifting off the ground. It's the only time I can focus and not hear thoughts; my parents' thoughts; my friends' thoughts and my own thoughts; only music makes me feel at peace.

Everyone is dancing and singing; some grab their instrument and play along.

Mrs. Rubio and the other students who love to dance take a partner. She scoots me off the bench and she takes over flawlessly. "Go Alexander! Show me your stuff," she winks.

She told me I move passionately like Fred Astaire. She thought I should pursue a music and dance career. I've always thought that would be a new beginning for me. Music seems to be the only option anyway. It's a no brainer. But it always changes the moment I leave the music room. It's like that dream only lives there. Leaving it, I become a different Alex—the one that has to pretend to be an honest student, a good athlete, and a loyal best friend.

In this room I don't have to act or lie.

I walk over to Beth, a violinist who usually taps her feet as far as dancing goes. She's stunned when I offer my hand; I broke the social barrier between seniors and freshmen. I pull her up and cradle her stiff little body into my arms.

"Don't worry. I got you."

I can't hear her; the music blocks all the voices I would normally receive. There isn't a need to use my ability to know that Beth is nervous. I start out slow and show her the steps.

"Follow me."

She tries her hardest and she begins to loosen up once she gets the rhythm down. I swing her around and she smiles frightfully. I sing to her which makes her blush. I would normally find her vulnerability useful to what I usually want from girls, but dancing with Beth, I want her to be comfortable and enjoy what music does for us both. It isn't about getting another notch on my belt, as Pete always says. It's about Beth and sharing this sacred place with her. For this moment, she's precious to me. Gently gliding her across the music room floor, I listen to her laugh, and feel her soft hands in mine. Her eyes are bright behind her glasses, her curly hair bounces like bedsprings, and her smile lights up her face beautifully.

I kiss her hand as the piano echoes the last few notes. Beth turns red. I'm just doing what feels right for the moment. My action surprised me as well. The room full of voices rushes into my head for just a few seconds, until a blaring vibration of a trumpet rips the voices away.

***

Alex

The definition of home is an empty house. The smell of homemade cooking permeates the air, but it's not welcoming. There's no one home to share it with. The housekeeper had left me dinner as per my parents' instruction. The meal is still warm with plastic covering it. It's not the same as a hot meal made by someone who loves you. The substitute meals don't have that special something. I sit and eat my meal quietly. One thing about being home is there's no one to bombard my mind. But that's the problem, there's either too many or no one at all.

"I hate spaghetti."

The red blinking light on the answering machine flashes. A message from my parents no less. I press the button and immediately hear my father.

"Hey, Son, Florence from the guidance office called. What's this about not showing up for some of the extracurricular activities you signed up for? Your commitments to those activities are what the college boards will look at. If you can't commit yourself to those clubs than..." My father audibly sighs. "Florence doesn't think you're being consistent. She wondered if anything was going on at home. Alex, I don't like being called a bad father..."

"Right, I'm sure that's exactly what she called you, Dad." I play with my food.

"...You know what I do for a living and I do it for you and your mother."

"Alex, this is Mom. Honey, I know this is strange on the answering machine..."

"No shit." I twirl the fork to see how big I can get the spaghetti around it.

"... but I want to call you later and discuss the things Florence suggested."

"Right, call when I won't be here." I drop my fork into the bowl. "It's not like I didn't tell you about Jake's party."

"...we'll be home on the 25th."

I drag my hand down my face. The 25th is three weeks away. I hate that they're never here. It's like I have ghost parents and they only talk through the answering machine. "Shit." I push the unsatisfying bowl away from me.

"... on a happy note, she informed us that your grade point average—"I turn off the answering machine, cutting away Mom's delighted tone. I can't stand this shit anymore. I know where the one sided conversation is headed. The car I'm dying to have will be mine. I've been meaning to lower my average so it doesn't look so much like a lie, but again attention gets the best of me and the car is hot. I hate how happy they are when I'm on the ball; it only makes me feel bad that I've never earned it fairly. Listening to their praises makes me sick to my stomach, but so does their disappointment. Sometimes the car doesn't matter. Today the car doesn't matter.

## Chapter Nine

Alex

Jake's lawn smells like chemicals. A large hand nearly covering my crown shoves my head further into moist soil. "I don't know what's funnier," Hunter's voice spits into my ear, "you thinking you could get in or this sad-ass sweater you're wearing. Did you time warp from the eights?"

I press my lips shut and attempt to turn my head to avoid eating dirt. I huff out grass blades. "Get off me!"

"What's your name pee-wee?"

Pee-wee?

A boot heel digs into the center of my back.

"Fuck!" I mumble into the ground. Hunter takes my arm and pins it to my back while my head is pulled away from the grass. "You know my name, asshole? What the fuck are you doing? Get off."

"You hear that guys? He thinks we know his name." He presses my arm hard into my back, "How would we know the name of some piss-ant I've never seen in my life. Even if I've seen you, which I haven't, why would I even bother to ask your name? How do you even know Jake?"

"I'm Jake's best friend."

The Crew laughs. "Jake's never mentioned you. Matter of fact I've never seen you at the center table."

"Find Jake and Pete!"

"Pete? Jake's best friend is dead."

"What?"

"Pete's dead, asshole and you don't look like Pete to me."

My cell rings. Hunter snatches it out of my pocket.

"Greetings, this is Random Douchebag's phone. Douchebag's not available may I take a message?"

I hear Mom's distant _'who is this?'_

Hunter throws the phone at Davis. "Take care of this bitch, will you?"

In which Davis chuckles, "Hello... ah—your son?... He's tied up right now.... Yeah, he's sucking some guy's dick... yeah, he's really into it... Alex? Who's Alex? ...oh you mean Douchebag... " Davis hits end and throws the phone over Jake's house.

"Who did you bag this time, Hunter?" Jake calls out from the porch.

Hunter lets me go. I get up slowly, holding my side where the boot dug into me. My fingers feel a funny material and I look down at my clothes. It's an ugly over-sized stripe sweater hanging off my body. I'd never wear something like this—ever. My boxers are over my jeans like the prank on Lucas Reiner. I would never leave my house like this. Hunter and his crew are laughing as I make my way past them.

"Jake!" I shout. "What the hell is going on?"

"It's okay I know him." Jake sips his beer in one hand and the other is around Cher's waist.

Hunter and his crew back away from me. "Serves you right freak." I hear one of them say.

"Are you with him now?" I ask Cher.

"What was I supposed to do? You didn't want me." She rubs Jake's chest.

"Of course she's with me, Pete's dead." Jake smirks.

"Pete's dead?" I look down at my feet to find Pete's body beaten to a pulp. Hunter's Crew bashed his head in. "How could you let this happen?" I approach the porch.

"I'm sorry. You can't enter." One of Hunter's Crew blocks the way. "You're not on the list."

I've had enough of this shit. Everything's backwards. "Jake, what's going on?"

"I don't let freaks into my parties. You are the biggest freak of them all. To think I was your friend. Friends don't lie and they don't take their friend's girlfriends."

"But that's what you're doing." I clench my fists. I hate seeing her at his side.

"Pete's dead. And you're still a liar. And you owe me money for the alcohol."

A sudden high pitch sound brings me to my knees. I cover my ears and open my eyes. Everyone is staring, laughing and their mouths are moving, but nothing I can't hear anything except the ear piercing ringing.

Someone grabs me. Their fingers tear holes into the ugly sweater. I slip from their grasp and run across Jake's front yard, passing the line of cars parked to the corner. The Crew is after me. I can't shake off the ringing sound in my ears. I make a quick turn on to a busy street. Somehow the Crew is still close at my heels. I dart into an alley and hop the fence. The damn sweater gets caught. I slip it off, leaving it hanging like a dirty rag. The Crew hit the fence like fish caught in a net and start climbing like rats. I flee out of the alley and head to the school.

The ringing seizes. The sound of my breathing and silence confirms there's no people; no sign of Hunter's Crew. I'm not taking and target the school doors. They're locked at this time of night but the windows in the music room aren't.

I jog around the building and climb in. I land on a desk, but not a school desk; an old fancy desk like the one in Jake's dad's den. Mrs. Rubio doesn't have a desk like this. Perhaps I entered the wrong classroom. I slide off the desk when something sharp hits my cheek. I lean away from the object to find my eyes adjusting at a taxidermy falcon. Its beak is open; the huge wingspan takes up my entire vision and its talons just inches from my neck. Perhaps this is one of the labs or science rooms. I slip by the still-life. There's cluttered things unrelated to school piled everywhere like a storage unit.

I follow a narrow and dimly lit path beyond a stack of chairs. I hear the type of bell that chimes when one enters a store. I proceed out of the strange packed room and it open to the outside. It should be the school hall but what I see is an empty town street and lamp posts. Outside of the door is a sign: _Antiques_. I'm in a store. There's no doubt this is a dream; the ugly sweater, Hunter's crew, Pete's death can't be real. I chuckle to myself—thank God.

Out of the shadows, across the street, Hunter and his crew appear. I back away into the shop and shut the door. I peep out of the window and watch the gang search the street. I have no choice but to stay in this smelly place.

I would never make the choice to enter an antique shop. Who in their right mind would go voluntarily and buy useless shit. The only thing I'd consider is vinyl; music and films are timeless, but who the hell needs a stuffed bird—really? The smell reminds me of Grandma Aisling's house where everything is old; stinks of dead flowers and mothballs. This place sucks.

Walking up the aisle I hear I'm not alone. A young scrawny boy with glasses and dark brown hair writes on a black board _'I will follow the leader'_ repeatedly _._ A man too young to run an old shop stands behind the counter. He clearly looks out of place with his trendy style jeans, simple black t-shirt, and a wicked looking belt buckle. He could model definitely. I can picture him at a hardcore rock concert not an old-hole-in-the-wall antique shop. The man's hair is incredibly black which reminds me of pen ink that once exploded, ruining a pair of my favorite jeans.

"What's that kid doing?" I approach the counter.

The attractive guy's smile is incredible. "Carver, you may go."

The boy pushes his glasses up and the man behind the counter hands him a photo of a girl. "Don't forget your homework." The boy nods and leaves without a glance in my direction. I try to listen to their thoughts, but I can't pick up anything. This is definitely a dream.

_Hello Alex._ The man's soothing voice calls to me like a lullaby. Like a mood ring his eyes change too quickly to recall the colors. I stare into the rotating color wheels for eyes. The man's smile is just as impressive. He's handsome enough to be a celebrity. I like him instantly.

Alex, you can hear me and I can hear you.

I'm confused. How did he know my name? Is he a telepath?

_Yes I am._ The man smile widens. _Let's converse this way_.

That's easy. Talk without talking. _What did that kid do?_

_His path is none of your concern. I'm Red by the way._ He holds out his hand. I take it. A strange current like a magnet clamps our hands together. It startles me so much, I let go.

_Sorry about that._ But Red doesn't look sorry at all. The glint in his eyes looks more like he's testing me.

_What was that?_ I massage my palm.

I suspected you to be a certain way and now I know that you are.

I'm what.

Able.

That word means a lot; able to do; able to be; But I'm not able. I'm not anything. I find the word comforting for some reason. Perhaps is the messenger not the message that makes me feel this way. I'm not sure.

There is nothing in your life you don't have influence over, Alex. You've made plenty of choices where you reign supreme, but your burdens are yours to bear. It's the only thing you haven't chosen to master.

_If you're like me, then maybe you'd understand how overwhelming it could be. All the lies, so many lies my head feels like it's gonna explode._ I rub my head. Finally talking about myself to someone feels liberating but it's also makes me want to cry. I'm not sure why. Maybe I've held it in for too long.

I watch his eye color stop changing, rest on an ocean blue.

We are similar in respect to telepathy, but we're different, you and I. Where I've chosen control, you've relinquished your will to do so.

Are we talking about the same thing?

Yes. Telepathy and your ability are the same.

There's too many other things—outside things that interfere with my head, I can't control that.

_You will._ Red reaches under the counter and places a shiny gold box before me. _I have something for you_. The box has an open top to reveal smooth metal disks lined up like a cylinder. The inner workings look like clockwork; with gears that would move, but the parts are still. The outside has a lever in which to rotate the metal disks inside.

_A music box._ I'm proud I identified the object. _Can I try?_

Red nods and I crank the lever. A long rod with comb prongs wait to be set off, but there is no raised area on the disk for the comb prongs to pluck.

I look up at Red disappointed that it doesn't play. "Such a pretty thing and it doesn't even work."

"You'll have to fix that, Alex."

Hearing his real voice suddenly zaps my nerves to life. The atmosphere of the dream seems real. Red seems real.

"But I don't know how?"

"You write music. Write a song."

_A song._ If I wrote a song the music box would work again. The prongs would play a song. I wonder what kind of a song I should write.

_Maybe something... Romantic?_ Red tilts his head.

_Yeah, for someone special._ I add. _But for who?_ Cher isn't special in that kind of way. I can't think of anyone, all the girls I know are just... girls. Maybe that's the problem. I don't have anyone to inspire such a song. It's sad. There's really no one I have in my life that I can call special.

_I don't think I can do it_. I close the lid.

_What about for her?_ Red's eyes turn in colors again.

A brief image of a young woman comes to mind. It's someone I have never met before. She has a bright smile; the kind that's not afraid to laugh. Innocent brown eyes I could stare into all day. Her wavy hair bounces and her eyes smile just like her pretty lips. There's gentleness to her face; kindness radiates from her. I think she's beautiful. I could see myself with her. I'm sad to see her happy face disappear from my mind. If I were to write a romantic song, then it would be for that girl, but I don't know her.

I look at Red who pushes the music box toward me. "When you meet her, trust what she says. It's the truth."

"You mean I'll meet her? She's real?"

"Yes. Very real. Now wake up. You don't want to miss Jake's party."

***

Alex

I take great care in what I look like, making sure I won't be missed. The gold strands in my hair, shine, make my amber eyes stand out. No ugly sweater, only a crisp new shirt, new dark blue jeans, new sneakers, even new underwear. My parents left me a credit card which I use frequently. The spending can get out of hand. But I'm used to getting my way. My parents can't say no to a straight-A-student. 'A' for Aisling. My father says I'll pay it all back when I enter a good school. My future will pay them back all the money I've spent when I'm making the big bucks. I don't care about that. All I care about is right now. I spritz on cologne and I'm ready to kill. 'A' for awesome.

I jump into my car and my cell rings. Shit!

"What do you want, Cher?"

"Pick me up."

"Where's Pete?"

"What do you mean? We broke it off."

"Find another way." I end the call. There's no way I'm showing up with her—is she crazy? I smile in the rearview. I feel more confident than usual. I have a feeling my dream has something to do with it but I can't remember at the moment.

When I get to Jake's, I park in my reserved space in the driveway. Herds of girls head to the front door. Most of them won't be leaving with their friends. One of them will come home with me later—if I'm lucky, two. I leave my car and retrieve the extra beer out of my trunk. Hunter's Crew immediately greets me. My stomach flips recalling a part of my dream I was humiliated by them.

"Alex!" Hunter's broad smile and hard pat on the back centers him.

"I got a little extra for you guys." They surround me but not to beat me up, but to praise me for extra beer. They leave howling and I make my way to the front door.

Jake's parties are known to go all night, attracting college hotties and occasionally cops show up and tear it down. His parents are never home, leaving Jake a giant empty house to trash every other weekend. The loud music is my focus most of the time, drowning out everyone; making a crowded room worth it. I'm able to enjoy the drinking, dancing, hijinks and focusing on individuals better. Individuals like Madison.

I spot her with her friends pretending not to care that I'm watching her; pretending to enjoy the beer which she hates the taste of; pretending to love the song played while moving her hips; and pretending she is hard to get. Like the others, she's not hard to get. Her off the shoulder top accentuated her breasts and reveals nothing to the imagination. Her short pencil skirt was picked it out especially for me.

She bats her eyes and sips her beer—which she hates, but it's the only thing to gets her drunk fast enough to shut off her annoying conscience. Only then will she be ready for me. Her thoughts are little, but loose which I like. She's buzzed enough, giving me an early start on the night incase college girls show up.

"No den!" Jake shouts from across the room.

I don't waste any time, making my intentions known. I approach her from behind and lower my lips to her ear, "Hey."

"Hey", she sips her beer.

I lightly caress her waist. "Upstairs," I whisper.

She separates from her circle of friends as I take her hand and head upstairs. Except for the line for the bathroom, it's quiet. Listening to Madison's unwound mind run on half drunken thoughts, I find an empty bedroom and close the door behind us.

She's nervous. I ignore it. She won't be for long. She's just another girl who wants the same thing I do.

My lips meet hers without a single word. I will get to know her and she'll let me. Her submission is my addiction. There's something about wanting it and the thrill of getting it.

Her hands find their purpose. I gasp as she reaches below my belt.

Pete is right. She's as much of a notch in my belt as I am to hers. I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I think being young isn't about love; it's about living in the moment and seeing how far I can push it. Knowing everything about everyone, I can see their flaws; their dirty laundry makes them not worthy to love. It's not like the movies and romance novels; they're pretty much lies. Madison wants what I want. No one loses.

"Alex!" She murmurs. They always call my name.

Sexual gratification is everything. A good reputation is the reward. Who you are is what you do and who you fuck. Madison isn't top shelf, but after tonight she will be. She can thank me for that. There's nothing more important to a Rembrandt high school girl than to say she hooked-up with Alex Aisling.

She proves her worth by going down on me. The act makes me feel like a king.

I reward her with a kiss for her efforts and I place my hands under her skirt. No underwear is helpful. It's pleasing to think she went through all of this trouble for me. They always do.

She's wet and ready. I lure to the bed. Lift her skirt and slide down my jeans. I rush our connection. I thrust deep without hesitation. I watch her face as I do what I do well. She tries to kiss me but I bury my face in her neck and press deeper into her. I can't be distracted.

I make no effort to please her and instead focus on my own peak. Pleasing her involves emotions which I have none for her. She can take what she wants and I can take the same. There is no heart in the matter. I'm absorbed in my own pleasure and ignore hers. I listen in on the actions of my neighbors in the room next door acting on similar instincts.

It isn't long before I release. I suddenly want nothing to do with her.

She kisses me, but my lips don't respond back as the whole act is still incomplete somehow. I pull out of her and stand to adjust myself. She lies on the bed, enthralled in her own thoughts, replaying what transpired.

I kiss her once more to ensure her I'm not completely heartless. I don't care what she thinks once I leave the room. She's history.

## Chapter Ten

Gabriel

I'm still wondering what this is all about. I haven't said a word to Violet, just followed her across town. _'We can help each other'._ Her words feel like they have weight to them. Maybe she can help. Maybe I'm being hopeful. I'll stay with her because I have nowhere else to go and nothing better to do.

"Alexander Aisling is in there." She glances at a piece of paper and folds it back in her pocket. I wonder if my name was on it too. I wonder if Alexander has the same condition as me. By looking at the loud house party, I figure this Alexander must have a different problem. I can never be in a crowd without everyone attacking me.

Violet takes her sweat shirt off and her ball cap, revealing her face. I recognize her from a memory that unveils from the depths of my mind. My heart skips as emotions for this complete stranger build up in my chest. I don't know her, yet these feelings are hard to ignore. Red must have done something to me. Maybe the clash into her messed me up.

"I can't go in looking like a bum." She drops her sweater on the curb. "How old are you?" The question takes me by surprise as I eye her figure.

"Ah, s-sixteen." Without an oversized sweat shirt hiding her body, I'm distracted by her curves. She's definitely older.

"So young," she says under her breathe.

"What?"

"I thought you'd be older." She adjusts the hem of her top.

"Why? Does it matter?" I try not to sound desperate, but my hands fumble my backpack to the ground.

"I'm not sure." She combs her fingers through her hair. "I'll be right back. Promise me you won't leave." She fluffs her dark hair.

"I promise." I try not to stare. She's really pretty. I can't believe I could have done it with her if I hadn't held back. I should scold myself for thinking it. I could've hurt her.

I want to go with her, but the party is packed with people and I would be touching everyone. I wonders what's so special about Alexander Aisling and why does she need him? Why am I _'so young'_? She doesn't look that old. Watching her walk to the house, I already miss her. I take her sweatshirt, bring to my nose for a whiff.

***

Alex

Jake nudges me. "Dude, look what just walked through the door."

I catch sight of her. No one can miss her. She's more beautiful than all the girls at the party—any party; all the girls in my school; this town, this... world. A whole flood of memory comes seeping back—my dream; the one with Red; the one with _her_. Holy shit!

"There's your college girl," Pete raises his beer.

"No way. This is my house." Jake backs away, flipping us off. I'm awestruck by my own walking, talking dream girl as she gets corned by my best friend. Jake introduces himself to her. I try to focus in on the girl, but my mind's ear is too distracted by the God damn music. The one time I wish this place to be empty—just me inside of her head.

I saunter over, but Jake pulls her into the corner—the bastard. He must be trying his best lines, but she doesn't seem interested in him as her eyes wander the room.

He offers a beer and she doesn't take it. She's asks him something, but he shrugs. She walks away disappointingly. Jake stops in front of her for another try. I hope his persistence doesn't pay off as it usually does with hot girls. Thankfully she's not falling for his charm and walks away. Jake rakes his hair in frustration. My eyes follow her while my peripheral sees Jake tell Pete something to make his jaw drop. I wish the music would stop to give me a leg up with her thoughts. I feel nervous which is not what I'm use to feeling. I want to approach her, but I convince myself, _not yet,_ I need something to bait her.

Pete appears at my side. "Dude, Jake just told me that the girl was looking for _you_. You know her?"

"No. I mean—I don't know." I watch her cross the room. I'm too shocked to move. "She's looking for me?"

"Go, before she leaves." Pete shoves me. My legs bring me behind her. I raise my hand to her hair where her chestnut tendrils hang a little past her shoulders. I imagine entwining my finger around one of those soft curls. She turns suddenly and I swipe my hand away as she looks curiously up at me. Her kissable lips part, a reaction I'm used to with females who find me attractive. She has the kind of face I could stare at all day. She's beautiful, but I can tell she's the type that doesn't know it. Her clothes scream practicality, not personality. The lack of make-up is surprising since I usually prefer it on girls; they're usually unattractive without their faces on.

So this is natural beauty.

Her arms cross over her chest like she's not used to dressing in tank tops. She can't hide that cleavage anyway—she shouldn't.

The music fades suddenly. I can now focus on the jackpot—her thoughts.

"Are you looking for Alex?" I sip my beer. She's older, but a soft glow to her fair skin makes her look younger along with her big brown eyes which suddenly shrink to a suspicious stare.

"Yes. You know him?" She's aggravated and somehow she knows I'm Alex.

"No. Do you know what he looks like?" I eye her lips.

"No." She seems willing to play the game, but I don't see why if she's irritated. How does she know I'm him if Jake didn't tell her?

"I need to talk to him. I need his help."

"Maybe I can help?" I can't tear away from her dark eyes. There's something innocent there. Something I want to ruin so badly.

"Only if you can read minds?" She tilts her head.

"Maybe I can, Violet." Saying her name is so sweet in my lips I can only imagine what she must really taste like.

Her forehead wrinkles. She's not impressed. "Can we not play anymore? I really need your help. Red sent me."

So that guy is real? I remember Red from the weird dream, but the details are fuzzy. Her face is all I really stands out. Staring at her now, it's like I'm dreaming again. Jake's house fades away until all I can see is her standing before me. I feel lighter than air and then I realize all the other sounds are gone; only her thoughts are audible. A moment of bliss in one head, finally. What triggered this? Her thoughts hover around a dominating emotion—worry. What is she worried about?

The music interrupts the quiet like a fire alarm, forcing me to resurface out my focus. It feels like my temple will burst.

"Are you alright?" She steps a closer. Her hand hovers close to my shoulder. "Maybe we should go outside. You don't look so good. Come on." She takes my arm. Hot blood rushes to my face. A teasing sensation tickles my groin. I crush my beer can from the sudden wave of unidentifiable emotions washing over me.

"I'm sorry, Alex." Violet drops my arm and the sensation subsides. She steps away, but the air around me seems to be pushing me towards her. "Please, let's go outside. It's kind of noisy in here."

I look around the room and spot Jake and Pete raising their beers, mouthing the word _'score'_. Violet heads for the door and my body is leashed along like a dog. Maybe it's the alcohol but it's the same piss water I drink at every party and getting hit like it's the good stuff has never happened before. We step outside and Violet walks away from the house. "Are you going tell me how you know me?" I attempt to close the space between us.

"Your dream with Red." She backs away. "He sent me to get you. Red can help you with your telepathy. There's a lot you can control, Alex."

"Control?" I'd like to lose control on top of that perfect body.

"Red told me you can't control what you hear. You must be hearing everything all the time. How can you stand it?"

I feel the cord between us fizzle away.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" I look away from her and at the guys on the porch who are getting louder. I don't want to talk about that.

"Alex?"

Her voice is muddied with the voices of others and the filter is gone. The music isn't loud enough to focus and the voices are causing my head to throb. I rub my forehead, but there's no relief. "What?"

"Alex..." Violet's voice fades and my eyes blur. My stomach feels awful. The urge to vomit is so overwhelming I lean over the bushes beside me and lets it all up. How embarrassing. I never vomit.

"I don't know why you do this to yourself. This place has too many people, Alex."

"Music," I wipe my mouth. "The music drowns everything. Sometimes I can just do one person, but it's rare."

"Red can help. But you need to come with me. I can use your help."

I glance at Jake's front door. Pete and Jake are still watching, but they're not as excited as before. They saw me puke. I never leave parties early, but she is no ordinary girl and I'm no ordinary guy. Jake will have other parties and maybe I'll have a better story to tell about tonight. I want to go with her. This is odd because there's someone named Red involved. If he's real, then what does he have to do with Violet? Even if they are involved, it won't stop me from trying to hook-up with her.

"Alex, I'm asking you to come with me. You don't have to, but I know Red can help you. He needs your help and he must have chosen you for a good reason."

There is something inside of me that is making me gravitate toward her. Not her words, not her looks—something else. Maybe it's something Red had said in the dream. Why can't I remember? Either way it doesn't make sense. I have a migraine developing. I need to get into the party to refocus on the music that's getting away from me or leave for somewhere quieter.

"I'm drunk. You're hot—let's get out of here." I pop a mint into his mouth. She gives me fake smile.

As soon as we across the street, the voices fade, leaving my mind to dive into Violet's.

"One more stop, then my place."

I like the sound of that.

"We can take my car—" I immediately picks up disturbing images. Someone else is nearby; someone awful to cause my stomach to churn again. I've never experienced thoughts like these before. My food comes up again as the vile images continue to infiltrate my mind. Hands on flesh; ripping and tearing of clothes; someone is applying too much pressure around someone's neck; blood; someone is sobbing; the flashing images and sounds are like clips from a horror movie with a close up of the nasty parts. A feeling of despair along with them is so sickening I lose my grip and vomit again.

"Alex, are you ok?" Violet is at my side, but she keeps a noticeable distance between us.

The strange thoughts continue. Misery has never made me feel so sick. It doesn't seem like normal thoughts, but things that had happened in the past. It's repulsive.

"I'm... okay."

I've never vomited twice in one night. I compose myself and refocus on her troubled face. Girls usually squeal and runaway when someone pukes. Violet doesn't seem disgusted at all, but sincerely concerned. It's rather comforting.

A kid, probably a grade or two under me, stands up from the curb. His dark hair and dark clothes make him look like a shadow that's come off the ground. The only thing that stands out are his eyes which sparkle from the reflection of a street lamp.

"Alex, this is Gabriel Black. Gabriel, Alex Aisling. Gabriel's special too."

I back away as the images that made me lose my dinner replay again in my head. It's from the strange kid. Gabriel's eyes look to the ground like he's being punished. Did he do those things or did someone do those things to him?

"It's okay Alex, just stay away from him, okay?"

"Stay away? Does he bite?" I cringe. "Holy shit."

"No—"

"I bite." Gabriel interrupts Violet.

I glare at him. Gabriel pulls his hood over his head. The kid definitely bites. He's also been bitten as a child. The haunting things I see in him are a history of torture. He's a victim, but he's also dangerous.

I don't quite understand it. Violet and Gabriel's thoughts are wide open; more shit filters through than anyone else I've read. Honing in on each of them is easier than it's ever been with anyone. I've never had a connection this strong before.

Violet called me special like them. Maybe that's the reason for the intense telepathy. There's something strange about Gabriel that warns me to never touch him. What I've seen him do is disturbing and what had been done to him is tragic. I pull out of Gabriel's head before I puke again.

Violet puts on sweat shirt that hides her body. If it weren't for her face, I probably wouldn't look twice. Her mind is riddled with holes, no past just recent history. She possesses something that's gotten her in trouble. From what I can tell it has to do with touch. She's been alone for a while. Only now she's seeking the help she needs. All under the direction of the person she's seeking—the shopkeeper—Red.

## Chapter Eleven

Dash

The sunlight captures my full attention as it absorbs the pen lines on my drawing. Staring at the sketch paper's blaring white surface blinds my retinas. The disappearance of my art is temporary as the sun makes its way across the late morning sky. Nature produces the most fascinating anomalies. It's an honor to witness such a moment where the sun prevents me from drawing.

It won't be long before the sun will pass the classroom window so that I can resume my sketch. Freeing my eyes away from the light, I've forgotten I'm in Algebra II. I don't bother listening to Mr. Brown talk about polynomials. Instead, I take interest in watching the sun eclipse my work.

A kick in the back of my seat startles me. Paper is being handed to me from the classmate in front of me.

"Dude, you mind?" The one who kicked my chair is impatient.

I take the papers rattling in front of me; take one for myself and pass the rest back.

It's last year's test to use as a study reference for the upcoming one next month. It's completely unnecessary since I've never studied in my life. I shove it under my textbook to resume my sun gazing. During wasted seconds when I was rudely interrupted, the sun receded from the corner of the paper. The best part of watching is the shade gaining back its domain.

My eyes rest upon the faces around me. Half of them are asleep or bored to death at the monotonous voice of Mr. Brown.

I wonder if life will be like this forever; just waiting for something to happen. There is so much I want to do, so much I want to express, but no time, no energy, no power to do it in this lifetime. Choose one college, one major, one career path and be one person. I can't do that. To choose one path sounds crazy. 'You can be anything'—they say it to everyone. Well, grant me everlasting life and I will be anything. I smirk as I shade the eyes of my Great Horned owl drawing. I'd fly away.

"Mr. Carver, since you've been paying so much attention why don't you find the solution." Mr. Brown shoves a marker in my face.

I hate being put on the spot. The things expected of me are a waste of time. I just want to experience life my way. These things will just keep me from my own plans. I want out, but there is no way out, only to follow—what a mundane life.

I take the marker and walk up to the dry erase board in the front of the classroom. I roll my eyes. This problem is too easy.

I write out the work Mr. Brown would be expecting and walk away with my head down. My answer is correct of course. Making an example of me won't work. Mr. Brown is just a fool, but I'm not paying attention. I know this stuff, like one would easily know what day of the week it is. Mr. Brown goes on explaining how I had found the answer—at least how he thought I found it. I never solved it—it was always there. I wrote out work that was expected of me. There is more than one path to a solution. Everything there is to know I can see in plain sight when it comes to math. Like a mother breast feeding a child, it's just comes naturally. I still had to learn math like a normal child. Once the basic knowledge of a subject took root, it grew into its own dynamic form.

I look up at the clock. There's still time left. School is a joke. Sitting through every class is time wasted. Everything I'm told I need to know I already memorized permanently. The work is boring. The teachers are uninspiring. Curriculum is not challenging enough. I could've been placed differently. College courses and various advance placement programs, but the same amount of time is wasted. The end result is the same.

The sun has completely passed my desk revealing my life-like owl peering back at me. The creature's hooded eyes drill into mine. I can imagine him circling the classroom creating a much needed disturbance.

I turn a page in my drawing pad and decide to draw my Goddess. She's beautiful, of course; not like the cookie cutter females around me. I sketch the outline of her round face; hinting the areas for her brow, nose and lips. I pencils in the dark tendrils for her hair. I envision her smiling, playing shy violet with me. She's soft when I fantasize touching her. Her lips taste like strawberries. I visualize taking her small hand into mine. A Goddess of my own creation is real in my world; my queen in a world without limits.

I smile as I imagine our first kiss. I've imagined kissing before but with this drawing I can almost taste her.

I wince at her eyes. I have to use an eraser for them. I try not to whenever possible but I never make mistakes like this. Her eyes are all wrong, and I can't seem to get them right whenever I draw her.

"Mr. Carver?" A hand swipes my pad away as the pencil skims across the paper, leaving a scar that destroys her face.

Mr. Brown's forehead wrinkles. "There are classes for this, Mr. Carver. I'm afraid this isn't one of them."

The class giggles and hits a nerve. My back sinks down into the seat as my face heats up like kindling. The boring lesson suddenly has excitement—unfortunately it revolves around me.

Mr. Brown takes the pad and places it on my desk, flipping through my private work before continuing his nonsensical teaching.

The line across her face—she's ruined—the nerve of that guy. My fingers curl tightly. I snap my pencil in half with my thumb. I watch Mr. Brown now occupying the board while the classes' eyes are still on me. It makes me incredibly anxious. My peripheral vision is blurring. All I can focus on is my drawing pad. Would he keep it? I need it. I need it now. Looking at the clock, there's fifteen minutes left. Fifteen minutes is too long without my sketchbook.

Too many eyes on me. Eyes touching me.

Mr. Brown turns from the board to face the class.

"Is there still a problem, Mr. Carver?"

Everyone turns their heads.

My chest is ready to cave in. My hands shake so I place them under my legs.

There's more giggling.

It's not funny.

Shut up.

Why is he calling attention to me?

Stop looking at me.

I shut my eyes. Brick after anxious brick, I imagine a wall to divide me from this classroom. The whispering begins. I open my eyes to see Mr. Brown staring. The kids in front of me turn around and gawk.

Don't look at me.

"Hey, you have asthma or something?" The kid next to me chuckles.

"Leave him alone!" The blond girl in front of him says. "He's freaking out."

Freaking out? Am I freaking out?

"Mr. Carver, do you need to use the restroom?"

The class burst out laughing.

I grind my teeth. The lights go out for a moment. I can't tear my eyes away from my drawing pad.

How dare he look at my private sketches. He ruined my work.

The clock's minute hand spins faster and faster. The lights flicker again. Mr. Brown and the class look around and whispering voices becomes a heavier burden to my ears.

"Settle down it's probably an energy surge," Mr. Brown sighs.

There's a loud crack from one of the windows. The glass explodes sending it's shards inward, raining over the classroom.

I get up and snatch my drawing pad and leave the classroom. I walk down the hall as quickly as I possibly can to my locker. The commotion continues behind me with doors swing open and students flooding the halls. My anxiety does this. The anger I hold inside still needs to be released. Crying in school will only show how weak I really am.

My lock rips itself away from my locker like soft taffy and hits the floor. The locker swings open violently before my hand reaches to open it. Loading my back pack with other drawing materials I start to feel overwhelmingly explosive. The water at the edge of my eyes begins to flood my vision. My heart is drumming like death metal music.

Too many eyes on me.

I head to the exit as quickly as I can before someone sees me crying. I head home. Holding back the real tears I'm so close to letting go—but not yet; no one can see me like this.

They know it was me. He didn't have to take it away. I think ahead to what the next day would be like. Mr. Brown stole Dash's pervy drawings. The weird kid freaked out. They wouldn't have known it was me who blew the windows out, would they?

I run into my house, still holding back what fiercely wants to come out. I pass my mom feeding my two younger siblings.

"Dash, are you alright?"

"Feel sick," I barely manage to say it without a shaky voice. The closer to my bedroom I get, the more painful my throat feels.

Closing the door and I let go.

I sob because I'm angry. My self-worth shrinks into a microscopic nothing; reminding me of how alien I really am; a piece that does not fit. Reaction was never my strong suit. Knowing how to act, what to say, what to really feel, isn't part of me. People are expectant of me, too cruel to understand and too in-with-the-crowd to empathize with an alien like me.

I punch the wall making a fist size hole. I stare at it, listening to my shallow breathing. My head is still pounding. I look around my room for something—anything to break. It has to be something I love. I look at the computer, I would shove it off the desk but it's isn't good enough. My telescope—I would throw it out the window, but it's not enough to really hurt. I want the pain to punish myself for being this way; for being weak.

My backpack. I rip it open, snapping the zipper off its track. The drawing pad, I'll rip each page out. Tear each one in half.

That will hurt.

I sob uncontrollable as I await my own punishment for being so different. Opening the pad I rip the first page out. The beautiful scenery I've worked on for days is torn in half in seconds. The sound makes my hands shake. The next page again, and it hurts my chest to do it. I break with every rip and tear. My head throbs as I do the next page and the next. This is what I get for being this way.

The page I drew of my Goddess, a line across her face, her eyes still not complete. I stare at her eyeless face. Without them, it's a face without a soul. My hands pull at the paper's edge.

I can't do it.

I grab a pencil from the floor and start to erase the deep imbedded line that scars her. She'll be okay. The motion of the erasing makes my breathing even out. Wiping my wet face and sweeping the eraser shavings away, I soothe her, "it'll be okay."

Taking my glasses off to clean the tear stains, I see the blurry image of her. This allows me to see her differently. It always surprises me the way things look without my glasses. I glance into the full length mirror leaning against the wall. Without my glasses, I see a blurry mess—just the way I feel. Placing them on, I see myself. Light brown hair flopping over my face—I'm in dire need of a haircut. My olive green eyes look brown from the distracting glasses. I'm not even born to see in this world the way others do. Ironic I'm legally blind. Life looks like a Monet painting; shapeless colors blending together like it's been raining all my life. Lots of people have glasses, but I'm sure I can fix myself. I promise that one day my eyes will match the mind behind them and see a new world. Right now everything is broken.

"Hey, you feelin' okay?"

My older brother, Cedric removes his shirt and leaves it on the floor adding to the eyesore that is his side of the room.

"The laundry basket is just inches away." I admire my brother's body and wish I was more toned. I'm nothing more than a bag of skin and bones.

"Yeah, you're fine. I thought I was walking in on another one of your dramatic fits."

My face heats up. So what if I'm sensitive.

"Well, I guess I just missed it." Cedric points to the hole in the wall. "Dad's gonna freak when he's sees that hole."

"No he won't. He hasn't step foot in this room since I was eight."

Cedric digs out another shirt in the clean folded pile our mom placed for us to put away but we never do. The pile eventually shrinks until our mom demands our dirty clothes and I have to collect my brother's things because he's never around to do it himself.

Cedric sees the torn pages littered around me. He picks up a half torn page of the owl I worked on earlier. "This is awesome. Did you show Mom and Dad?"

"Why would I show them? They're too busy."

"Yeah." Cedric takes a tack from a playboy poster and pins the two pieces of the owl together. "It's pretty sweet, Dash," he smoothes out the wrinkles.

My cheeks flare up again. It's not often anyone sees my drawings, unless it was stolen from under my mattress or taken out of the garbage. My brother is the only one that's ever sees my work and compliments me.

Cedric begins to scavenge for something under his bed.

"Hey, I was wondering if maybe you and I could—"

"Have you seen my wallet chain?" Cedric says, pulling out more clothes from under his bed.

"Yeah, it's on the dresser. Um, I was wondering if we could talk. I kind of need someone—"

"I was supposed to tell you something." Cedric eyes squint. "Oh yeah, Mom said dinner's up if you're feeling it. If not she'll bring it up for you."

"No, I'll go downstairs. Where are you going?"

"Out." Cedric loads his pockets with a few items from what I like to call the sex draw. "And no you can't come."

"I wasn't going to ask." I collect my torn pages off the floor.

"But you were thinking it."

That's true. I've hung out once but only because Cedric was too drunk to notice he dragged me into his friend's car. I got to ride around town with his friends while Cedric made out with his slutty girlfriend, Charlotte, in the back seat. I saw her boobs. It was the best night ever. "Is it Charlotte?"

"Nope. Don't worry I'll tell you about it when I get home," he smirks.

Cedric always says that, and I'm always asleep when he gets in. Sometimes I wake up to find Cedric not in his bed at all. No one ever seems to notice but me. It must be his way of dealing with a big family—disappear.

Cedric opens the window and climbs on the sill.

"Hey? You didn't hear anything weird happening at school, did you?"

"I don't know. I cut today. See ya!" He disappears and leaves the window open.

My stomach growls while shutting Cedric's escape door. I brush my finger over my goddess before putting the drawing pad under my mattress. Too many kids in the house means things that I don't want discovered get discovered. I'm lucky to have the room to myself most of the time because Cedric's never around. It's the only sanctuary I have, but even being alone takes its toll.

I head down stairs and see dinner started without me. I'm adopted along with my six siblings. My parents have two of their own, plus one on the way. I'm the second oldest son out of the three girls and three boys; all adopted. The table is always crowded and noisy at dinner. With everyone talking all at once, no one ever pays any attention to one another. I have nothing to share. Even if I did, no one would listen. My parents have their hands full with their lifelong dream of a big family. An extra chair for Cedric isn't placed, like they forgot he even exists. I wonder if I didn't come down for dinner would my mom forget to bring dinner up for me. Cedric is the lost son and I'm the invisible one.

Staring at my dinner plate, I don't feel so good. My sister is shouting at my younger brother across from me. Dad is laughing at a joke I didn't hear while feeding the baby who is throwing food at another sibling, who then cries that her new skirt is ruined. Mom is super pregnant yelling across the table at someone or everyone.

My chicken is dry and cold; I've waited too long to come down for dinner. There's nothing to drink and my corn is half eaten by someone else.

Imagination takes a lot of focus around a noisy family. But I've learned the art of tuning them out. The corn kernels change from buttercup to canary yellow. The blue budded flower design on the plate blooms. Pollen floats out to season my potatoes. At least it looks real. I swear that sometimes I make things happen. Like school today, the windows imploded and the lights flickered, the lock and my locker moved without me touching them. I did those things. I've done it before.

I wish it to be quieter, but I can't will everyone to disappear.

"Put it away." My sister tells my twelve year-old brother, Brian, as he tucks a book under the table. The wire spirals look familiar. I reach over the table and grab the notebook. Brain tugs it away.

"Were you in my room again? This isn't yours, Brian."

"Dad! Look what Dash drew! There are naked girls in it." He waves the book around, opening it to one of my nude sketches.

"Ew!" My younger sisters say in unison.

"It was for class," I blurt out.

"Your face is red, liar," Brian shouts.

"Shut up, Brian."

"Dash, we don't say 'Shut Up'!" My mom shouts.

"Ha! Ha!" One of my sisters sings.

My baby brother Lucas laughs with them, splashing gravy all over the place.

"There's nude models in class?" My dad takes the drawing pad and adjusts his glasses.

"Uh—um.."

"Busted. You're a perv," Brain says.

"Shut—" I hiss.

"Dash! What did I just say? Brian, stop instigating."

"Daddy like naked girl." My sister Ashley points.

"Oh, my God! Put that away." My mom shoos the notebook away like it's the most hideous thing she's ever seem. My dad's still eyeing the sketch like he's never seen a naked woman before.

"Boobs!" Ashley, points to the picture on the reverse side. My dad flips it over.

"Dad, j-just close it," I beg.

"The good stuffs on the other side, Dad," Brain smirks.

I stumble my way to my dad before he turns the page. Ashley tugs at my shirt and Baby Lucas smear gravy on my arm.

But it's too late.

"Oh my Lord!" My dad shuts the notebook. "What kind of class let's their students watch—"

"Dad, the notebook. I'll put it away." I stretch out my hand.

Mom wipes the mess off baby Lucas' face. "George, they don't have classes like that in school. Your son is just at that age."

"My son! Well, I don't remember being this... imaginative at sixteen."

"Maybe Dash is just horny as hell," Brian chuckles.

"Shut up you little asshole." I shout across the table.

Brian stops laughing. Baby Lucas stops crying. Ashley's mouth forms an 'O'. Everyone is staring at me.

"You go to your room without finishing your dinner," my dad clears his throat.

"That notebook goes in the trash," my mom says. I don't bother watching her dump it into the garbage. It doesn't matter how beautiful I think the female body is; how much time and effort I put into those pages; how much imagination it took to draw the acts depicted. Humans have sex not just to have babies. My parents should know that.

I run upstairs and slam the door imagining it rocking the entire house. If it were an earthquake it would take out the entire block. The door shuts and nothing shakes—nothing but my body. How embarrassing. They think I'm just a horny teenage. They're so wrong about those drawings.

I lay on my bed and think of my Goddess. Thank goodness the drawings of her aren't in that book. I wish I can make her come to life. She'd come over and come up to my room. I'll show her my telescope; the stars; Saturn is out, and the moon will be full and bright, lighting my bedroom enough to make each other out. We'll kiss. Oh God, what would that feel like? A real kiss.

## Chapter Twelve

Dash

She's sitting on Cedric's bed. Her face is veiled by shear fabric, only her pouty red lips are noticeable. Her dress is so long, it covers the entire floor of the bedroom. I can't help stepping on it. She's waiting patiently for me. I'm supposed to be prepared. I go to Cedric's dresser and pull the sex-draw out. There's nothing in it, but candy wrappers. I glance back at my Goddess waiting for me. I can't do it without protection. I close the draw, thinking maybe I really don't need one. I love her so it shouldn't matter. I kneel to the floor and I gather enough of her dress to slip my hands under to feel for her feet. She smiles when I slide my hands up from her ankles. Shoving aside the dress material I slide my trembling hands up her leg. I've never touched a girl before. She's soft. I'm getting hard. I reveal her shapely legs and lacey underwear.

"Hurry," she says. "I have to go soon."

My hands reach for her panties, but it's not any material I've ever felt before. It's cold and hard like metal but it looks like cotton. I try pulling them off, but it seems glued to her.

"You need a special key," she says.

A lock appears below her navel. Right. A key. "I can get one from town. I'll be right back."

"Hurry," she says. "I don't know how long I can wait."

I climb out the window like Cedric does and run to town. It's dark and I know I can't take too long. I have to take her home before her father gets angry. I check the hardware shop, but they're closed. All the shops are closed. I glance at my watch. I'm running out of time. I shake the door handle at the locksmith. I can't believe I'm going to miss my first time to make love with my Goddess. I peek in the window—the key I need is hanging on the wall. I ball my fists. If I breaks in and leave money on the counter it would be okay, right?

I look at my watch—it's too late. She's probably left by now.

A light turns on behind me.

An antiquities shop appears with a large painted We're open sign in the window. They might have the key. I can get a key for next time.

I enter the shop and my vision blurs. I remove my glasses. Somehow it's the opposite when I have them on; I can see without them. I fold them into my pocket and take a look at my dream environment. Suddenly looking for a key seems to be of no importance. Figuring out the strange environment feels like a priority. A lamp flickers with every step on the creaky floor. The ticking of wall clocks nearly cover the wall if it weren't for the landscape paintings dominating the other half. Cluttered table tops on either side of me make a narrow aisle. I like antique shops. They hold objects that were once precious to someone. Generations of history held in such a small space. I wonder about how far some of these objects came to sit on these shelves. How many hands they pass through to get here?

I pass a large mirror and for a split second I thought I saw someone else staring back at me, but looking again it's my own reflection without my glasses. I can see myself clearly. My eyes are the same color as before, but there's something there like they're deeper than they seem. I touch my face to make sure the perfected version of myself is actually me. Wish I was like this in real life. I move a few hairs from my face. Even in a dream I need a haircut.

I continue down the aisle were a boy around my age looks at a broken hand mirror. Seven years bad luck, but maybe the seven years ended with the old object. I notice the reflection of the boy's face in the mirror. Abstract from the cracks, the boy's green eyes are very attractive.

A man I hadn't noticed before appears behind the counter. He looks up and smiles at me. The man's eyes are out of this world; changing colors like a pinwheel. I approach the counter, watching the transaction between the beautiful people. They look like mirror images of each other only one older than the other. The texture of their black hair reminds me of feathers. An image of a crow comes to mind.

The boy smiles and decides he'll take the mirror. The man gives him a photo. The boy thanks the man and brushes pass me. Our eyes meet briefly. A strange sensation washes over me. A force pulls me to follow, I almost lose my balance.

The black haired boy turns around and thankfully waves at the man. The attraction is instant. That face something I must sketch. The boy leaves and I'm left with a longing that lasts only for a moment. I want to follow him, but the man behind the counter speaks.

"Don't worry, Dash you'll get to meet him soon." His voice is soothing, yet there's a depth to the sound that makes my chest thump.

The haze from the boy dissipates. I take in the details of the man. He looks young, but for some reason I can't explain, I know he's much older than he looks. I focus on the man's dilating pupils. He knows things. The strange eyes hold knowledge unknown to me.

I want to know these things.

The rest of the man's face is beautiful—if a man can be beautiful, this man certainly is. There's an aura about him. He's a figure of authority of some kind. He's to be feared for his power, yet there's a gentleness and kindness about him. Grandeur superseded this man's body.

"You do that well."

There is something in the shopkeeper's voice that calls to me. Its pleasing sound travels to an embarrassing area of my body. Only my Goddess has ever affected me in that way.

"I call it scanning."

That makes sense to me because my eyes take everything detail in with precision and its copied to memory like taking a picture, only its more than what an average person remembers. I can also draw from a person a conclusion; hints and clues about a person just by looking close enough at the details within the details. It's similar when I sketch too. I can see things three dimensionally without having to see the other parts. I'm able to invent the rest to perfection.

"All of your senses are hyper-sensitive. You observe and absorb more than others. You see the world differently. You can use more cognitive training, though. With that, you'll be able take the information you receive and make them absolute. Eventually you'll manifest what you imagine easily and precisely. You're very special Dash."

I know that I'm different, but not special. I'm always in my own world and cause things to happen when I get emotional. I never imagined I'd get better at it.

"I'm Red." The man has a handsome smile. "You've been obsessing about a drawing of yours recently—your _Goddess_."

My face burns up. How does he know about that?

"How would you like to meet her in real life?"

The drawing in my thoughts suddenly appears with eyes. I've never drawn her with eyes. I could never get them right.

"I'm not done," Red smiles. My imagination explodes when the memory of my drawing turns into a real person. Her eyes are so captivating. Lips so kissable it makes my mouth water. Her soft chestnut hair bounces when she moves. She smiles and it's gentle; a kind face that sends my heart racing. She disappears from my thoughts like wind blowing delicate petals away.

"She's real, Dash. I need you to trust her when she comes for you. She needs your help."

I nod. I'll meet her. I'm excited but I have to contain it or I may break an object in the shop. I place my hands in my pockets. It's a little hard to breath. My body is so hot.

"Tell me how do you feel?" Red says.

I shrug.

"Don't be afraid to express yourself outwardly. You'll be very good at it, I promise."

I used to keeping to myself. I'm not sure what to say to this magnificent man.

"I have some things for you. Check your pocket." A hard circular object is suddenly at my fingertips. Smooth on one side and etching on the other. I pull out a pocket watch. "Objects tell stories, Dash. The very essence of them will help you collect the information you need."

"What?" I open the ticking watch.

The lights flicker and Red closes his eyes. "One more thing."

I suddenly have a headache. A dizzy spell forces me to shut my eyes. My hand clamps the watch. Something feels like it's pushing through my head. The pressure is so sudden. A second wave of repeated pressure crashes inside of my brain. A force makes its way through, filling my head like when I haves a panic attack. The pressure subsides when my skull reaches its limit. I open my eyes. I oddly feel lighter for having gained something.

"What was that?"

"I won't be contacting anyone for a while. The last of my ability is yours to use." Red's eyelids look heavy. "You'll find your senses sharper."

"I don't understand."

"Yes, you do, Dash. I've given you what little I have left. Make use of your power. The other things are in my journals. Violet will show you."

"Violet. Is that her name?" My lips curl at the real image of her in my mind compliments of Red. "Journals? You want me to read them?"

"I think you would get a lot of use out of them." A trickle of blood blooms on his forehead. The lights flicker and Red falls back behind the counter and hits the wall.

"Are you okay?" I lean over the counter.

Blood drips down his face and Red's body goes rigid. "You better get ready because she'll be here soon." Red's eyes close and his face dissolves with my surrounds into a white void.

I open my eyes. My body is over-heated and my t-shirt is drenched in sweat. My tongue is too dry to lick my chapped lips. I sit up and comb my fingers through my damp hair. The clock on the nightstand says I've only been asleep for a few minutes.

Violet.

I reach for a drawing pad. My Goddess has eyes after all.

My pencil moves upon the paper, shading in her big earthy eyes. Not a single stroke is a mistake; every line I make is where it should be. She's come to life with these eyes. She's real. There is nothing more beautiful than this girl.

"Violet. I love you."

## Chapter Thirteen

Alex

Gabriel is preoccupied with the smell of flowers perfuming the air. I watch him peel back his hood and his nose sniffs the air like a dog. He likes flowers? —pretty weird for a kid who smells like the locker room after practice. A row of pine trees lining the street takes his interest. Someone named Joshua lives up another block. This Josh person was his friend, but something happened. I see a door dividing them in his thoughts, but can't see why this image is the source of the broken friendship.

His mouth twists and his brow knots between his eyes as another image of Joshua comes, only this time Joshua is reaching for him. This kid wanted to touch him and Gabriel doesn't want him too. Things happen when Gabriel touches people. My eyes widen—this freaky kid has done lot of things with a lot of people. At a young age this kid was doing some nasty shit. Maybe his friend knew that. Maybe his friend wanted a piece of the action. Is Gabriel Black gay? No, he's not, but he's done things anyway without wanting to. This kid is confusing.

I recede out of his head when our eyes connect. His hood is pulled forward to hide his face again. My presence noticed like a burglar setting off an alarm. I've got to learn to tip-toe, especially around a mind like Gabriel's—there's so much to look at.

"This is it." Violet stops in front of a large suburban house with all the lights on. The front door isn't even open and I can hear the voices from the street. From the look of all the toys scattered across the lawn, I assume this was either a day care or the family causing the racket inside is a big one.

I follow Violet's climbing the steps while Gabriel sits at the bottom of the porch well away from us. I keep close to Violet since Gabriel weirds me out. She smells nicer anyway.

A small child, no more than four years-old opens the door in a yellow dress with one red shoe and one black shoe. Behind her, family mayhem; a table filled with food and no one eating. It looks like its dinnertime only everyone is out of their seats. I thought I saw someone throw a chair.

"Hi, is Dash home?" Violet asks the little girl.

Dash? Is that a real name?

"Yep." The child says as she closes the door.

"Don't worry she's getting him." I reassure Violet.

A slim weak looking kid with untidy brown hair flopping over one eye and lopsided glasses opens the door. He looks familiar.

Violet recognizes the boy but in a way I've never seen in someone's mind before. She sees light around bodies. There something about the aura that she sees confirming that they are who they are. That's how she recognized Gabriel and me.

"Dash Carver. I'm Violet Reyes."

The kid stares at her blankly. The lack of emotion on his face is the opposite of what's happening in his head. I'm surprised that Dash recognizes her too. He had a dream with her just like I did. He remembers everything. My dream was vague, but this kid experienced it more vividly.

He admires how beautiful she is using words like symmetrical and well-formed. I'd just say she's hot. The kid assumes he loves her, which is ridiculous—they just met. I'm not worried because he's a nerdy sad kid. I try suppressing a laugh but it slips out as I sway a little closer to Violet.

Dash spots Gabriel and recognizes him from his dream too. Gabriel looks at him, but no recognition is indicated. The kid doesn't seem to think the same for me, but I can swear that I've seen Dash before.

The awkward kid pushes up his glasses. "I assume Red is real too?" The kid feels unworthy and averts his eyes from Violet. He wants to move his hair but he decides to hide behind it. This kid has no self-esteem.

"Yes, he's the reason I came for you. Will you come with me tonight? Red needs your help."

"I'll help." Dash takes a backpack from behind the door like he's been expecting her. While I was partying, this kid was packing his bag. I fold my arms across my chest. How does Violet need this kids help?

"This is Alex Aisling."

"Hey." His chin rises. I do the same.

"And this is Gabriel." With a slight nod of his head, Gabriel slings his backpack on his shoulder. His eyes search the street; he's anxious to leave Joshua's neighborhood.

"So do you have to ask your mom if it's okay—" Violet's funny. He's sixteen not six.

"No." Dash looks at the family circus playing out behind him. It's the norm for him; the total opposite of my house.

"Are you sure?" Violet clasps her hands together. "I don't want you to get you into trouble. I mean we are strangers..."

Dash closes the door behind him and stands in front of Violet. He's taller than her. He straightens his shoulders on purpose to show her he's not a kid. I cover my mouth before I let a chuckle slip.

"I'm old enough to leave without asking for their permission." It came out harsher than he wanted. I can barely hold in in.

"Okay." Violet backs away from him. He strolls down the porch steps and stops as Gabriel backs away with his head down. Dash moves his hair to the side and stares at Gabriel.

"Won't they notice you're gone?" Violet asks. "I'm sure your parents will worry."

"I doubt it." Dash sighs and looks at his sneakers like he's suddenly afraid to look at her.

I unfold my arms. Dash is feeling what I have often felt when my parents abandon me for their business trips. The funny thing is this kid has an ever present family and still feels forgotten. I can relate to this because of the long stretches between seeing my parents. I often feel deserted too. With so much family, no one seems to notice him or even care about the things he cares about. He doesn't even have friends to confide in.

"Okay. This is everybody. Let's go to my place. I'll explain there."

I like the sound of that and swiftly walk beside Violet with Dash following close behind. Gabriel tags along but with distance behind us. Violet turns around once in a while just to make sure he's there. I still don't know why she needs the other two. They don't seem to be as special like me. I can read minds, so what does she need with a pervert and over-imaginative nerd for.

***

Alex

I recognize the part of the city we're walking through. My mouth waters when the smell of spices invades my nostrils points to the long line outside of Hell's BBQ. I hadn't eaten much at Jake's party and my buzz is long gone. The deep rumbles of heavy bass rattle the glass of a blackened building with a neon yellow sign flashing The Basement. Lots of artists and musicians play in these clubs and bars. The street festivals are amazing and the live concerts free. There's even a record label in this area; a music studio I dream of recording at one day. One of the schools Mrs. Rubio recommended is blocks from here; a perfect area to jump-start my music career if only my parents would let me make my own decisions. A guy sitting on the window sill stroking a cat's back catches my eye. He's chilling with a beer in his hand, listening to the sound of the city. I could live here.

"So where are we going?" I look up to admire the red lit Rise & Fall Studio sign across the street.

"My home. I need to show you so you'll understand some things."

"I know, but I can't seem to figure out where. It's not clear when I try to read your mind."

"You can read minds?" Dash pushes up his glasses.

Gabriel perks his head up.

It's the first time I've blurted my secret out to anyone.

"Red made it so it isn't easy to find. It's hidden and kind of nowhere at the same time. It's hard to explain. Red made it that way." Violet's apologetic smile makes me want to dig deeper into her mind.

"What do you mean Red made it that way?" Dash takes the words right out of my mouth.

She pauses for a moment to collect the right words. "Red is special. I'm sure you've all experience that in your dreams. Where I'm taking you is a place he made and I don't mean built."

Dash looks just as confused as I do. I don't understand the pieces of information floating around in her head. I hope she's not crazy. She stops in front of a large abandoned building. Gabriel is taking note of the location as if it will be a potentially good place for shelter when he needs it. Since Violet lives around here, that's a plus for him. His thoughts are pretty pitiful.

Gabriel must've felt me poking around in his head because he's wondering if I can see other things in his mind, but he won't dare ask. I can pretty much see everything. I wish I couldn't.

Violet goes into the decrepit building.

"Here?" I cringe.

"Come on, it's nicer inside, I promise." Violet opens the overly creaky door.

Broken glass crunches under foot. "Doesn't look like it." I sigh when I kick up dust and brittle old newspapers. I grind my teeth when I hear Gabriel snicker. The weird kid is used to filth. He's slept in a number of places that rival this dump. Gabriel can't help but smile as I attempt to try not to get my new sneakers dirty. I'm so kicking his grimy ass.

We follow Violet up a flight of stairs and down a hallway corridor. From the fancy molding, this place has been around a long time. The window glass is wavy which I remember from a school trip to famous mansion that it means it's as old as fuck. Violet goes into one of the rooms and stops in front of a full length mirror. It looks out of place among the gray garbage. Brand new mahogany wood frames a pristine mirror.

"Why would someone leave such a beautiful piece?" I say.

"This is the entrance." She put her hand through the mirror. The three us stare at how Violet's hand disappears. "Come on." She walks right into it and she's gone.

"Dude, did she just—"

"Well, it is the entrance." Dash pushes his glasses up.

"Thanks for enlightening me on that," I say sarcastically. "This is getting weirder and weirder." I approach the so-called entrance. "What the hell am I doing?" I was partying one minute then following a hot chick walking through mirrors. Maybe I'm still dreaming. Maybe I'm tripping.

I step through first. My sneaker hits earth. It's dark. But I can tell I'm outside, but in the country side. The chirping frogs and noisy insects remind me of the vacations in the country my family use to take before work became priority. I hadn't heard nature like this since I was little. It's too dark to tell my surroundings completely, but the night's starry sky is bright, something I hadn't seen in a long time. I can make out trees that surround the place.

Dash comes through, bumping me away from what looks like a gate.

***

Dash

"Sorry." I adjust myself from clashing into him, but I don't think Alex heard me. He's too busy staring ahead of him. I can see why.

There's something unusual within the dark landscape. At first I thought I saw fireflies, but I pushes my glasses up, and see lines that remind me of glow-in-the-dark markers I had when I was younger. The lines move as if someone is drawing them; leaving tiny lit streaks in the air. The stars are brilliant without the use of a telescope. I recognize the triangle constellation immediately, but the season is wrong. It's late spring and the sky is showing Lyra, Cygnus and Altair which are most discernible in the summer.

"Dash, are you okay?" Violet asks. I hadn't noticed I was breathing hard. All I can do is nod; it's a bit overwhelming by the traces of the hyper-intelligence enveloping my senses.

Violet steps away pulling me by my backpack to make way for Gabriel.

***

Gabriel

Stepping through, I smell the air and instantly feel at ease. I flop back my hood and drop my backpack. I'm a rock settling at the bottom of the ocean from a seemingly endless sinking journey. It's so serene, I stand for a while taking in the fresh air and strange darkness. I realize the rest of them are walking toward a cabin at the other end of the field. Its light glows like a lantern in the distance.

Walking through the grass, there's luminescence among the blades, but it isn't from the moon or the stars. It's coming from the grass and plants. A halo like coloring surrounds each leaf and each blossom. It reminds me of how radiation is illustrated in comics. Searching the horizon, a forest of trees surrounds the dreamy place. It's beautiful even in the darkness of night. I'm comfortable here—where ever here is. Maybe stepping into the mirror was stepping into a portal like in the sci-fi stories I've read.

"So what can you do?"

Dash startles me. I was so in awe of my surroundings, I didn't feel him enter my personal space. I veer away as I follow Violet. I don't know how to answer him. "I'm not sure." Violet had said we all have abilities and as far as I'm concern, I have none. "It's more of a condition then ability." I place my hood back on.

I can feel him watching me. I don't like it because it feels like Alex's telepathy.

"What about you?" I ask, diverting the conversation away from me.

"Not sure." Our eyes meet and I feel heat on my side. Dash is too close again. I lengthen the gap between us. I look down at my feet and notice the flowers are all closed for the night. "I wonder why they glow."

"What?" Dash asks.

"The plants and the flowers—they glow."

"Which ones?"

"All of them. Can't you see it?"

"No, I don't." Dash pushes the hair out of his eyes. "I guess you can't see the glowing lines darting around this place then."

"Glowing lines?"

"Interesting. Maybe that's part of your ability."

I don't want to talk about myself.

"This place is amazing," Dash says. "So, you had a dream, too? You've seen Red?"

"Yeah."

"You were in mine. Was I in yours?"

I look at Dash. This is weird. This total stranger had a dream with me in it. "Alex was in it. He was just buying a helmet."

"Buying a helmet?" Dash walks a little closer. I instantly veer away. If we keep doing this walking dance, we'll end up in the woods. He's one of those clingy people; the ones who don't know the meaning of personal space. Those are the worse kind of people.

"You were leaving the antique shop when we brushed shoulders by accident." Dash combs back his hair, for it to only move back over his face. "It felt... different."

I swallow hard. How can that be? There's no way he could know about me. I don't remember him. I walk a little faster like each step will get me farther away from what Dash had just said.

***

Alex

Gabriel and Dash catch up as they pass a lake which looks like glass. The reflection of the moon lights the surface, giving it the illusion that the water is glowing. I imagine the water is cool in contrast to the slight warmth of the recycled light of the moon.

I'm unable to understand Dash's mind now. Like a mosaic of thoughts, it's too cryptic to decipher. Gabriel's is clearer and still much too dark for my taste. Violet has too many holes to comprehend an actual story. They weren't like this before the mirror. There's more, too much more now. At least Violet isn't scientific or horrifying. She's all I want to listen to anyway. She's nervous about talking to us; wondering what to say and how to say it. Every so often, her thoughts would veer off into a memory that doesn't make any sense. It always includes Red and some other guy—Grey. It's too quick to see because she shoves it so far to the back of her head. Whatever it is, it seems to make her very sad; the corners of her mouth fall a little.

"So you live here." I confirm with her.

"Yep, with Red..." She trails off like she wanted to say 'and'.

"And Grey?" I fill in the blank for her. I have to admit, I want to impress her with my ability. She looks stunned, but doesn't deny nor confirm it. It's a touchy subject. Her mind springs back to thinking of Red. It seems to be her main focus, but I can see this Grey person is much more than someone that used to live here with her. They were close. She wants to cover that up. I know what that feels like. I always hid my connection to Cher. Cher isn't anything to me, but for some reason I can't explain, my chest hurts to see her with Pete.

I shake off the thought of Cher as we approach the modern cabin with a peaked roof and windows lining the front. There are more angles and lines then the typical cabin I remember I used to build with my toy logs. I gaze over at Violet. She lives here with Red, but it doesn't seem like their married. I wonder if they're together. I wonder if he's inside.

***

Gabriel

I would look at the cabin more if I wasn't so distracted by the blackness next to it. Nothing seems to be glowing near the edge of the forest; even the moon doesn't penetrate the area. The more I stare into the dark hole, the more it absorbs my attention. My eyes are transfixed to the deep pit as it swallows up my peripherals. I'm no longer standing with strangers in the grassy field. I'm floating in the depths of something destructive. Something deep inside me hums to life. That dark place... my body... it wants—

"Gabriel?" Violet's lovely voice calls my name and pulls me out of my trance.

She waves to me with the others on the porch of the cabin. They're going inside.

## Chapter Fourteen

Alex

I can see everything from the doorway. The living room with a stone fireplace, kitchen open to the living room, stairs leading up to a second level in which you can look down from and see everything. The dark wood floor spreads throughout the cabin, a line of windows and double doors bring the outside in. The cathedral ceiling is absolutely breathtaking. I imagine how awesome it would be to have a party here. It's enough space for a band and even a dance floor. The acoustics would be phenomenal with the high ceiling. I take a deep breath filling my lungs just like I do when I sing. I slowly let my breath escape. I try to pick up Violet's fragrance, but the place is bombarded with aromas unfamiliar to me. My eyes wander the space wondering where her bedroom could be.

***

Dash

The moment I steps inside, I sense a presence within the cabin. I feel it all around me. I'm torn between Violet and my surroundings. I'm in awe of its aliveness as well as Violet smiling face. It's like she went from paper and pencil to flesh and bones. It's hard to take my attention from her. Even though I can feel the cabin calling me, it's hard to pay it any mind with my heart beating out of my chest every time she enters my vision. This nice place doesn't compare to her. But she lives here, and it must have clues about her life; what does she like to do? What are her hobbies? Where is her bedroom?

Prying my eyes away from her, I notice the glowing lines connecting like tree roots along the floor and walls, moving like tiny rivers. Even the furniture it connected to this nerve system. It reminds me of the sci-fi movie with Keanu Reeves where the life he lives is all an illusion. Symbols; not scrolling numbers reveal it's make-up. I recognize its complexity and its majesty are connected to presence I felt when I walked in. How the creator did this is beyond my comprehension, but somehow I understand what I'm seeing.

Red made this place. That's what these lines illustrate. This is what Violet meant. Every tangible thing was inspired from something Red had seen or experienced. The roof structured similarly to a church Red's been too as a boy. The nearly black floor is taken after a relative's eyes. I can tell it isn't built the same way as one would build a cabin. It grew like anything else in nature, but how could that be—a man-made structure is not organic. These lines speak and say otherwise.

I place my hand on the wall and my eyes stray. As beautiful as this place is, every time I steal a glance at Violet, I'm reminded that she is what's so incredible. My Goddess drawing has come to life and is now she's showing her amazing home to me. This is something out of a dream. No, this is better than a dream—it's real this time.

"Is there anyone else living here?" I surprise myself that my question came out so boldly. Everything is too interesting to ignore.

"Right now? Just me." Violet's smile weakens. Her shoulders slump and her stance sways.

"It feels like someone else lives here." I brush my finger against the wall. "Besides Red."

Violet's smile comes undone with a thought. I want to know why she suddenly looks sad.

***

Gabriel

I'm the last to step through as Alex and Dash are welcomed to take a closer look at things. I don't feel as welcomed. Heavy pressure pushes me on all sides like a lemon being squeezed. My head is ready to explode. It subsides as I step further inside. I'm afraid to look around, as if someone is watching me closely, punishing me if my eyes veer away from my sneakers. I stand close to the wall, waiting for instruction. Why I am I even here?

***

Alex

I'm staring, but I only realized it when Violet's eyes connect with mine. She gives me a fake smile, but of course hiding the reason doesn't make sense around a telepath. She hides anyway, as if it helps to ease the thought that I can see everything.

But I can't see everything. Her head is like Swiss cheese—too many holes.

"Please make yourself at home." Violet walks to the living room area. The stone fireplace is massive. Its stones reach all the way to the top of the cabin. Three seats are close to the fireplace makes the area smaller than it is. I like it because it feels cozier. I especially like the flat screen TV above the fireplace. I love watching movies. It's watching people but without their thoughts interfering. It's close to being normal unless I watch with friends, which is extremely annoying. I picture myself with Violet in my arms by the fireplace. Close, real close. I wouldn't mind her at all. We wouldn't be watching the movie anyway.

She sits in a red armchair. I sit on the sofa with Dash eagerly sitting beside me for closeness to Violet. Gabriel is the last to join us, sitting the farthest away isolated on the love seat. He's clinging to his backpack as if someone will take it. There's nothing, but school shit in it. At least I don't have to smell him.

"Well, this is my home," she nervously fiddles with her hands in her lap. She's so cute. "Red calls it the Sanctuary. He created this place. It's a place in between places. It's nowhere yet somewhere; a safe place for people like us—people with abilities. The three of you have triggered abilities. From what Red had told me, you three can help me find him."

"Find him?" Dash rests his elbows on his knees.

"He told me in a dream that he needs your help. He chose you three."

"Did he say where—" I ask.

"I'm terrible at remembering things." She pushes her hair behind her ear. "I'm surprised I remembered everything about you guys. Most of the dream was about you three—that you'll help me find him. "

"Red chose us?" Dash pushes up his glasses.

"How are we supposed to help? No offense, but I barely know the guy," I say.

"Red knows you—all of you very well. Alex Aisling, you're a telepath. You can hear and even see the thoughts of others; enter dreams and communicate beyond words."

She looks at Dash. "Dash Carver. You have an eidetic memory; vivid recall; decipherment of objects and environments. You have the ability to form virtually anything and even worlds like this."

Dash's face flushes. I purse my lips. That's a lot of bullshit I don't even understand.

"Gabriel Black, you have aura that is magnetic; you can attract people or repel them. You have an ability to see other auras, identify others like us, and decipher people's moods and environments." Her hands tighten on her lap. "These abilities make you extraordinary; they make you Hybrid; half human."

I stare at her. I know the others are too.

"What's the other half?" Dash asks.

"Um, alien." Her smile twitches.

"Alien?" I suppress a laugh. "You must be joking."

Violet stares at me as my smile slowly deflates.

"You're telling the truth," I lean forward.

"Red said she would." Everyone looks to Gabriel. His hood is up and only his mouth is visible. "Speak the truth, I mean."

"Thank you, Gabriel." Violet massages her hands nervously.

I remember now. Red had said that. Shit, I hope I didn't offend her. It's that word; alien. It's far crazier than me sitting on a 'place between places' with a mirror for an entrance. Alien?

"I'm adopted. So that explains a lot." Dash brushes the long hair out his eyes. The kid needs a haircut and a reality check.

I peer deeper into Violet's head. She was told this by Red, not that she hasn't any proof of the alien half—our abilities are proof. As long as I've lived I have never met anyone like me. Sure, I've visited plenty of psychics, but their crystal balls are bullshit.

"I'm adopted too," I've always felt different, but not alien different.

"My dad's dead. My mom's insane." Gabriel finally places his backpack between his legs. "I don't remember him. He died after I was born."

Jesus, this kid is a mess.

"The alien gene is carried on your father's side." Violet straightens her shoulder. She's cuter when she's confident. "Your fathers are hybrids. Hybrids don't last long in the real world once their abilities are triggered. Most times they go crazy."

"I've had to deal with telepathy since I could remember. I'm fine." I shrug.

"You're not fine, Alex." She rubs her thighs. "None of you are."

"You're the only one here." Dash pushes up his glasses. "Where are the other people—I mean—Hybrids?"

"Out there in the real world. Not everyone makes it. Triggered abilities can ruin a Hybrid's life. They're more accident prone with abilities they can't control. Sometimes it leads them to suicide. Some powers are hard to live with. You three have survived your abilities against the odds."

Gabriel shoves his hands deeper into his hoodie pocket. I look down at my sneakers. Dash shifts uncomfortably beside me. My life is starting to make sense and it's scary as shit.

"Red's missing and I'm not powerful enough to find him. I need help."

"And you think we're powerful?" I ask. "I mean, this sounds crazy. I have mind blowing migraines, this one has an overactive imagination and that guy is repellant, no one would go near him anyway. How's that going to help?"

"Red sees something in each of you; something that can help the situation. Your powers are not fully developed. Red can help you, but we must find him first."

"What's your ability?" It's a surprise to me to hear the emo kid speak again. His hood is back to reveal his green eyes that aren't as dark like the rest of him.

Violet fiddles with her fingers nervously. Her mind is repeating a word over and over again. _Aura, aura, aura..._ seems to be a mantra to hide something else. It's working. I can't hear or see anything else.

"You don't want us to know," I reveal.

"I'm weak, but I can see auras. I'm pretty much useless though." Her shoulders droop.

"What are you hiding?" I mumble.

"Please don't." She whispers to me, pleading me with her eyes to stop poking around. "There's a reason I can't do this on my own."

"So, we help you find Red and he helps us with our abilities?" Dash leans forward with interest in his eyes..

She nods.

"Who is Red anyway?" I ask. "Is he like the leader?"

Violet smiles and then bites her lip. The way her lashes flutter I wish I hadn't asked. "He's our Guardian; the one that protects us from ourselves and others; teaches us our abilities."

He wasn't around for me. I hear Gabriel's interesting thought loudly.

Violet contently continues. "He's a lot older than he looks—not sure how old. He knows about all of us and his abilities seem endless. He came to me in my dream telling me exactly who you are and where to find you."

"But he couldn't tell you where he is?" I probe.

"I don't think he knew. I felt that there wasn't enough time for him to say. I think his powers are weak or he'd be here now," she sighs.

"Who's Red to you?" Dash asks.

I know the answer. I don't care if she doesn't want anyone to know. "Her boyfriend, but you're not even sure if he's even that..." I trail off, watching her chew her bottom lip. "I'm getting images, but I don't understand your story. There's, um... dark areas. I've never seen that before."

"My story is irrelevant." She gets up from the chair, eager to move the conversation forward.

Dash's thought calls me an insensitive asshole. "Relax, it's necessary." I say under my breath. He flinches.

"Come with me I want to show you something."

I follow her closely, but she veers away from me as if I was going to kill her. I must have really offended her from what I blurted out before. The fear in her eyes offends me. She's afraid to be near me.

## Chapter Fifteen

Dash

Violet leads us down a hallway with lines marking the walls like the ones I saw in the great room. They grow brighter, leading to a room in which Violet opens. She and Alex don't seem to notice they've walked right through a web of light. A tingling sensation makes my arm hairs stand when I pass through. Gabriel is behind me, but when he walks through he suddenly doubles over; holding his stomach like someone had punched him. The lines that no one but me can see start to collapse around him.

I try to approach, but Violet grabs my sleeve to stop me.

"I can't." Gabriel weakly says. "It hurts."

"Back away into the hall." Violet says franticly. She let's go of my shirt.

Gabriel does what he's told and immediately looks relieved when his back meets the wall in the hallway. The lines move back into position, flowing naturally like before they were attracted to Gabriel like a squid.

"Go sit in the living room and rest. We'll only be a minute. I'm so sorry, Gabriel." Violet presses her hands to her chest.

"The lines. What happened?" I ask.

"What lines?" She looks puzzled.

"I can see everything here is connected like the human nervous system—especially in this room. It clung to him as soon as he entered."

"I figured you'd see things." She smiles as if it's a relief.

My heart aches just thinking a moment before she grabbed my shirt. I wish we can repeat it so I can take in the details of those precious seconds.

"Poor Gabriel. I should have realized. Red's energy can be overwhelming for someone like him." She presses her palm to her forehead. "Poor thing."

"Someone like him?" Alex folds his arms.

"He must be hypersensitive," I say.

"Sensitive? Yeah, right." Alex rolls his eyes.

I thought because he's telepathic, he'd be more empathetic. It doesn't seem to be the case with him. The thought must have filtered through by the dirty look he's giving me. I ignore him. I touch the door frame. The lines don't react to my touch. I sense that it hurt Gabriel like hundreds of needles to the skin. Why?

The presence of the cabin is thick in this room. I assume this was what made Gabriel feel ill. I look closer at the wood grains of the door. Tiny traveling lights look like an aerial view of a highway at night. The room has so much to read. It's dark but not because it's night. The walls are the color of the sky at twilight and old books nearly cover the wall. There are no windows for light, only a terrace door. I assume the room is dark even in the daytime. An antique writing desk has nothing but a book and inkwell.

"This is Red's room," I access.

"Yes, it is," she's says gleefully. "I wanted to show you his room because he left a lot of things behind. Maybe clues to where he intended to go." Violet sits on the bed. "He's the Guardian of Hybrids like us so he leaves often."

I see traces of someone else using this room—Violet. I notice a few things that don't belong like a pink robe and flowery hand mirror. She must be sleeping here.

"Not a single outlet insight; no TV, no stereo. How boring," Alex assessment is so typical of his type.

"He's got a gyroscope." I spot on a shelf.

"A gyra-what?" Alex says over my shoulder.

"Gyroscope. It's defies gravity in the way it moves." My finger rotate the circular metal wheel. It spins on its axis without interruption on its mounted parts. With the laws that bind us the universe, perhaps there are things that liberate us. Have I been bound until now?

"Isn't that a toy?" Alex lifts an eye brow.

"A toy used in jet planes."

"Whatever." He folds his arms. I smile. He can't see everything after all.

"Looks like university professor lives here," I grin.

"Looks like my grandpa lives here." Alex stares at the old books like he's never seen such a thing. "I remember Red being a young guy, not some seventy year-old professor."

"Red is... older." Violet taps her lip.

"Very old." I say under my breath while my finger touches the edge of the century old writing desk. A pair of pink slippers beside the bed catches my eye. I envy Red because she obviously misses him enough to sleep in his bed. I wonder what their relationship is to each other.

Recalling my dream of him, Red said his journals where accessible and on queue Violet goes to a bookcase behind the old writing desk. It's full of leather bound books. From the top of the bookcase to the bottom, the books go from dull and wrinkly to richly colored and firm.

"These are Red's journals. They're as old as he is." She takes the journal on top of his desk, flipping through with a puzzled expression. "I can't read it. It's the last one before he left. It might have a clue to where he was headed." She wipes her watery eyes, quickly composes herself. She stops on a page. Alex looks over her shoulder.

"Looks like a page out of my math textbook," Alex's brow arches.

"His script is so old-fashioned I can't read it." Violet fiddles with her fingers. "Believe me, I've tried."

I stare at the page in question. Violet slowly hands it to me as my eyes rapidly move about the page. The 'math page' pops out at me like a three dimensional model. It explains their last conversation took place in Violet's dream. It's strange how the page explains it without a single word. The written page opposite it is clear even with the long loops and tiny mid-sections; the words seem highlighted when I read them. Golden strings cross the pages like the web in the door way. Red made it so Violet can't read it on purpose. I remove my glasses then put them on again. I can see with and without them. I look at Violet. "I can read this."

"What does it say?" She folds her hand to her chest.

I turn another page. Violet waits wide-eyed.

A name appears repeatedly. "Who's Ryan Grey?"

Violet steps away with her hand on her stomach, like she ate something bad.

"He was one of us. He was a telepath." She shakes her head like she doesn't want to talk about it. "Did you read anything on the last page? Maybe about where Red was headed?"

"It says he decided to leave the Sanctuary. It doesn't say where he was going. A lot of it is him feeling guilty—"

Violet snatches the book out of my hands. Her cheeks turn rosy. She looks up at Alex only to look away quickly. Whatever she's hiding Alex must have caught it. I exchange looks with him.

"What about this?" She points to the large framed drawing on the wall. The ink lines don't appear solid, but float above the actual paper itself like a three dimensional illusion. As I approach the lines move; repositioning themselves to form lines that appear to be roads and blocks with buildings. Slightly discolored dots act like pins marking various areas.

"This is a map of the city. It doesn't say where he is, only where he's been."

Violet sighs disappointedly. It's like I'm on stage before an audience and everyone is waiting for me to perform. Of course, Violet is in the front row. But there's nothing for me to do and nothing else to say. I place my hands in my pockets as Violet walks away. It seems my spotlight turned off.

***

Alex

The more questions we ask the more I can see. Though the pieces are bits of Violet's story they don't make sense, it's still about her. The fact there's more than one guy involved only entices me. "So what if this Ryan Grey has something to do with Red's leaving? It's obviously important enough that he left it on the last page of the last journal he wrote in."

Violet looks ill. "Red left the Sanctuary. Ryan Grey left the Sanctuary to find him. They never came back. Red sent me a message in a dream to look for you three. That you could help. I don't know where Grey went. Violet places her hand on the exposed skin below her neck. "I'm not looking for him. I'm looking for Red." She looks as though she's holding back a flood of tears. This Grey person was someone special. Guys make girls cry. I know. I've made Cher cry recently. Violet isn't anything like Cher; being with two guys doesn't seem to be this girl's style. She too sweat and innocent, but I've been surprised before.

She composes herself. It's enough of her story to know that Ryan Grey is a big part of this. Clearly, Dash is thinking the same thing I am. Ryan Grey is someone we need more information about.

"Don't you think maybe Ryan Grey has something to do with his disappearance?" Dash asks.

"No. I don't. It's something else." She shakes her head and folds her arms. I know she's not even fooling herself. Even she's not convinced. "Something else..." I see a dark black cloud in her thoughts, but the image is so blurry I can't make out what it is.

"There is this thing..." she begins, but she truly doesn't know what to say. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm talking about. This all must sound crazy to you." She sits on Red's bed.

"It's okay. You said you need our help. I'll help." I approach cautiously. She's uncomfortable by the way she wraps her arms around herself. The reason is unclear, but I have a feeling she doesn't want me that close.

Dash is staring at the map.

"You want to take it home?" Violet's eyes come alive again. "Maybe there's something in it."

"Really?" Dash looks so nerdy with his crooked glasses.

Violet takes down the map and they carefully roll it up. "I know you have school so don't neglect that for me. I don't want you to get in trouble."

Dash's eyes look hungry. The idea of neglecting school is no stranger to the kid.

"You trust me with this?"

"Yes, of course."

She's a terrible liar. Dash adjusts his glasses and for a split second it seems like he actually heard me.

"You don't even know me," Dash says passing glances at me. "Are you sure?"

"Red trusts you. You trust me and here you are. Anything to help find him. Take it."

Take it before she changes her mind, Dash. Again Dash's eyes briefly look at me as if he can hear me tell him these things.

Can you hear me, Dash? I try to project it directly.

Dash nods while Violet's back is turned. Holy shit!

"Um, Violet? Do you think it can be turned off? You know the hearing everyone thing?"

"I don't know. I think it's permanent, but I'm not sure. I know it hurts you. But there are ways of controlling it. Red knows how. Once we find him, he'll help all of us."

"So Red is a telepath."

Violet nods. "Come. Let's check on Gabriel."

I follow Violet back to the great room where Gabriel is sitting on the floor with his head between his knees.

"Gabriel, are you okay?" Violet approaches, but stops besides the sofa like there's an invisible wall blocking the way into the intimate area. At first it seemed like she's scared of him; he's a strange kid. Maybe Violet picked up on it too but for some reason I get the feeling she's overly cautious because of her ability. It's clearly more than she says it is.

Gabriel nods, keeping his head down.

"Red's energy has a way of overwhelming the senses, much less his residual. I'm sorry I should have known this would happen to you." She clasps her hands to her chest.

So Red has many abilities; he made the Sanctuary, he's telepathic and has whatever Gabriel has. Gabriel's ability seems strange, like it has no real purpose. I feel bad for the kid. Yet, seeing the things he's done it's hard to think it isn't his fault. What part did he have to play in helping Violet?

"Alex, I need to talk to Gabriel alone. Why don't you and Dash look around the cabin."

Dash and I look at each other. He's eager to explore the cabin. I couldn't be more excited to find out where her room is. He doesn't waste any time and motions for me to follow. Walking down an adjacent hall way Dash senses a foreign presence to his left. I follow his lead and open the door to a bedroom.

"This must be Ryan Grey's room. The room is just as I imagined it would be," Dash says. The word Ryan Grey scrawled in ink in Red's journal told me a lot more than a name."

We step inside and the floor creaks.

Dash continues, "Ryan Grey is the one Violet is avoiding talking about. But from that moment, my eyes connected to those pages, a story was coming to light."

"We're supposed to be looking for Red."

"Ryan Grey is still important."

The details of his room show an exciting personality and a talent for drawing like Dash. Dash pictures who this person is and I'm learning from what he pieces together. He looks beside the bed on the floor. He kneels, combing his fingers through the rug as if something happened there. I can't grasp the images but Dash feels like something bad had happened on the floor. His fingers brush against every object as he passes.

"Why are you touching everything?"

"Brief feelings are attached to them—sorrow, depression, anger..." Dash's fingers drag along the bed, "love."

"You're like psychic, but with objects." I'm impressed with Dash but I'm not saying it out loud. The massive vinyl collection on the wall captures my attention. Ryan Grey has good taste. "It's hard to see the guy's face in Violet's head. Do you think there's a picture somewhere?" I pull out an album by The Stones.

"There's one in Red's room," Dash says. We go to leave, but Dash stops to look at the room again.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just taking it all in. This guy is someone Red trusted."

We walk quietly not to disturb Violet who I can hear talking to Gabriel.

"Hey." I whisper. "You heard me before, right? I mean, I didn't say anything out loud."

"Yeah, I heard you. It's pretty cool that you can project your voice into another's head like that."

"No, not cool. I have no idea how I did that. How do I know I'm not thinking my thoughts into someone's head that I don't want to be heard?"

"You mean it's never happened before?" Dash stops at Red's door.

"No. Maybe it's this place. Gabriel got zapped and you see weird shit. Tell me you've seen things like this elsewhere?"

"My senses seem to be sharper here." Dash slowly opens Red's bedroom door.

"Bet you could smell dumpster boy right now."

"Yep."

"Sucks to be you."

"There on his nightstand." Dash points to a framed photo of the unforgettable Red, Violet in the middle and an attractive guy with light brown hair and gray eyes. They're all smiling. Ryan Grey and Violet have their arms around each other. Red stands next to Violet with distance between them. She looks different; younger and happier—an expression I have yet to see. Dash snatches up the photo. His pupils shrink and enlarge repeatedly like a camera lens. I have never seen eyes move so strangely.

"I'm trying to understand what you're doing with the photo, but your thoughts look as bad as Red's journal. I hope it's not perverted." I snatch the photo out of his hands breaking his concentration.

"Let's find her room." Dash proceeds out of Red's room.

He moves quickly like drug sniffing dog. He goes to a door across from Grey's room. We open it to find an empty closet. "That's weird. I can feel this is her room."

"No wonder she sleeps in Red's room."

Dash strokes the door frame like some visually impaired person trying to find a door knob. "There used to be more of it but it's like she shrunk herself."

"English!"

"I think she doesn't think much of herself so her room got smaller. I think this place reacts to us."

"Reacts to us, how?"

"I'm not sure. But Red is truly amazing. I'd love to meet him for real. I have a million questions for him"

"Well, I only have one. Is Violet taken or not."

***

Gabriel

She saw me freak out. How embarrassing.

I flip my hood back on. Violet keeps her distance like she should, but it doesn't help that I'm sitting here quietly. What am I supposed to say? Sorry, going into Red's room felt like I was being punished for being the monster that I am. It painfully overpowered me. It could have been very embarrassing. Pain often feels good when I'm in that state. I could've easily lost control finding myself with an audience as I explore the exciting energy. Arousal is a private thing.

"You're like Red. You both have the same ability."

I peek up from my hood. When I first approached Red in the dream, it wasn't this intense. Red had said 'I'm sorry'.

"I know." I wish she could understand what makes me feel this way. Why am I like this? What purpose does it have? How can someone like me help her?

"What's wrong with me?" I ask.

Violet doesn't answer. Instead she looks to the floor for a possible answer. She can't help me. "You don't know do you."

"I know Red can help you. He knows everything."

"But he's not here." Basically she is telling me I'll have to suffer until we help her find Red—her boyfriend. My mouth twists when I think of the word.

"There is something I can help you with? I can show you how to see energy auras. You can tell a lot about someone by seeing the color around their body." She tries to smile. My big problem will have to wait. What is the point of looking at people's auras if I can't even go near people? I know she's only trying to help. It's nice to have someone who cares about me. She is too beautiful to have such a sad face. I must have been staring at her too long because her cheeks turn red. I'm surprised I could do that.

"I'm sorry you have to be so far away from everyone," she says.

"I'm used to it."

"How did you live out there?" She says 'out there' like it's a different planet. Maybe it is to her. She lives here where's there's no one. It must be heaven.

"I don't know." Thoughts of my life are like a nightmare I wish to forget. All the things I have to go through each day. It isn't a normal life. There is nothing human about it. My tearing eyes betray me. I'm such a waste of space.

Violet grasps the seam of her top. She wants to console me but she can never touch me. I'm a predator with an insatiable lust for taking what does not belong to me. She's far away and I yearn for a different connection. Comfort and love are long lost feelings thrown away by my mother. I'm a different person now and have no feelings left for that woman, yet, the first experiences of love is something I thought I wouldn't yearn for again.

"I'm sorry." She quickly wipes her eyes. How is this stranger crying for me?

"Don't be. I'm sorry, Violet. I know you need my help but I have nothing to offer you. I think I might be useless. Red made a mistake."

"No. Red was specific." Her eyes light up. "I believe he picked you for a reason like he did the others. Red is particular in everything. You are not a mistake. If Red believes in you, I believe in you."

"I can't do anything."

"That's not true. Things will fall into place. They have too." Her eyes flutter.

What if they don't?

Alex clears his throat and Violet composes herself, smiles cheerfully at the other two.

"It's getting late and it's a school night. I hope you'll help."

I rise to my feel and see Dash place a long rolled paper into his back pack.

"Please bring it back when you're done," Violet's hand reaches out slightly toward the object.

"What is that?" I wipe my wet face.

"A map. Dash can read it. Just be careful with it." She folds her hands still eyeing it.

"Don't worry I know where he lives," Alex jokes. A smile appears on her face, but only for a few seconds.

I feel a little left out. I'm not sure what I missed but it doesn't matter anyway. I swing my backpack on his shoulder. I contemplate sleeping in the abandon building. It seems pretty safe and Violet is near.

Alex leans into Violet's ear. I can hear his low voice say, "he has nowhere to go. He's not homeless; he just has it really bad at home."

"How bad?" she says.

I'm shocked and ashamed to hear them talk about me.

I hear Alex continue with the word "...disgusting."

I glare at him. Why doesn't he mind his own business?

Violet nods and Alex's face contorts. "Wait I didn't mean here—"

"It'll be fine. You know the way." She dismisses him. "Goodnight Dash. Goodnight Alex."

Alex glares at me. You better not touch her! I hear his voice clearly without his mouth moving. His threatening expression softens when he looks at Violet. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I can't look at her. "What did he say?" I don't mean to growl at her, but Alex is beginning to piss me off.

"You're staying here with me." She tilts her head.

With her!

Alex stares daggers before shutting the door. If you can hear me, asshole, I'll be back tomorrow. His voice is loud and clear in my head.

"I want you to stay here." Violet blocks the path to the door.

My jaw drops. "I can't."

"Yes you can. I know you have nowhere to go and you'll be safe here. I have a room you can stay in. Food. You need to stay here." I avert my eyes away from her. This is inconceivable. She doesn't know what's she's asking. What does that asshole know?

"Come, I'll show you where you'll sleep." Violet heads toward the staircase. "Gabriel."

I sigh and follow her up the stairs to the top and look down to see the whole layout of the cabin. She stops in front of a door I swear wasn't there before. Violet steps inside walking to the other end of the bedroom to give me space to enter.

"I have a secret." Violet says. I walk into the room, listening to her intently. "You might as well know." She turns on a lamp. "This is your room. You weren't supposed to move in until you're old enough. But Red warned me and Alex—"

"My room?"

"Yeah. Well you might as well live here now as long as you... want to." She stands awkwardly by the window as I look around at my room. It's exactly how I'd have it. Large queen size bed with black sheets; a writing desk with various writing pens; a leather bound notebook to write in. The walls are painted a deep red and the wood flooring is dark. There are pictures of trees framed on the wall. A gold framed painting of a crow catches my eye. As I approach for a closer look, the feathers on the bird glisten. Its eyes look so real, I swear they follow me. The space is clean and neat unlike my room at my mother's house. A shelf of graphic novels I'd been meaning to read lay in colorful neat stacks. I have my own bathroom.

"You like it?" she fiddled her fingers.

"Yes." It's like someone read my mind and created my dream room.

"The Sanctuary is made by Red and everyone in it helps create a part of it. This part is you. As you change, the room will change with you."

Violet glances beside her at a leafy arrowhead vine. "You like plants?" She looks at the leaves curiously.

I sit on my new bed, touching the sheets. It's been so long since I've used a bed. "Yeah, I like plants." I can't believe Red knows this about me. "There is something Zen about growing a life form out of the earth."

"Your voice is different. It seems to have a lighter tone to it." She smiles.

"Really?"

"You have a nice smile when you're happy, Gabriel."

I blush. I'm not used to pretty girls complimenting me. She turns back to the plants, tapping her finger on her bottom lip. I wonder what she's thinking.

"What's old enough?" I can't seem to meet her eyes. "You said I wasn't supposed to move in until I'm old enough."

"When Red knows you're ready to learn the truth about yourself," she looks away from me, "or when a hybrid needs his help."

Disappointed, I asked, "I'm too young to know the truth. Is that why you commented on how young I am?"

"Usually Red tries to get people like us when they've reach a certain age. Sixteen is a young age. You're still in school and teenagers are dependent on their families. He wouldn't have taken you now."

"But I'm not dependent on my family." I realize I sound bitter.

"I don't know why he didn't retrieve you earlier. I'm sorry. I don't know the exact reasons he picked you three. He has reasons for everything."

I have a million other questions but my eyes are tired. I want Violet to stay and talk. I'm so eager to explore the rest of my new room.

"I see you're tired. Your clothes are in the dresser." She proceeds to the door. "You'll see that Red provides everything you need."

"How much does Red know about me?" My hand skims the black sheets.

"Probably everything," she smiles.

I hope not.

"How much do you know about me?" I'm afraid to look at her.

"Nothing I already expressed."

It's a relief to hear. She doesn't know my history; unless Alex told her. I hope that she won't ever find out about the monster I truly am. If I'm to live here I want to leave that all behind.

"Goodnight, Gabriel." She says kindly and closes the door leaving me to myself. My lips grow to a wider smile. I give my bed a bounce and letting out a laugh. Before writing about it all in my new notebook, I peek out of the door and watch Violet turn out the living room lights. She goes into Red's room and closes the door. I thought about what she might be doing in there. She must have a room of her own. The light under the door goes out. She must really miss Red.

## Chapter Sixteen

Gabriel

I'm used to getting up with the sun. Always on the move to avoid going home, I often leave where I've slept for the night as the sun comes up. This morning my internal clock forgot I'm in a safe place. Rising with the sun is an old habit. My body feels particularly heavy this morning, I don't want to move. Beneath my head is the softest pillow I ever rested upon. I bury my face to whiff the smell of washed the linen. I'll stay in bed a little longer.

I make myself at home at the kitchen counter for breakfast. I snack on an apple while writing about the only thing I've thought of all night—Violet. The girl that stalked me, chased me, bumped into me and invited me into her home—all in one night. I don't know her, but there's definitely something about her. Maybe, it's because we briefly touched each other, but usually that would make her the one to swoon over me. It's not the case with Violet. She seems pretty normal as far as girls go. Maybe it's me? I'm the one crushing. That's the weird part. I've never had feelings like this.

"You write?"

I slam my journal shut.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." She's wearing a loose fitted t-shirt and jeans like she's hiding herself on purpose. Her hair is a bit wild, like maybe she forgot to brush it. Maybe she doesn't realize no matter how much she tries to hide, she's still nice to look at. There goes that ache in my chest.

I realize I have nothing to worry about with Violet keeping her distance. She won't be able to read my secret thoughts. "It's okay." I'm too embarrassed to look at her after what I had written about her.

"Writing about everything, huh? Are you any good?"

"I've been told I am, but I'm not so sure. I love writing, though."

"Plants. Writing. Is there other talents or hobbies I should know about?" she asks with a big grin.

"No, not really." This is about the longest conversation I've had with a girl. She makes herself comfortable on the other end of the counter. To see her big brown eyes connect with mine brings an instant smile to my face. I blush at the question and shake my head.

"I wish I was good at something."

"I thought you said you could see auras?"

"Yeah, but I'm not good at it." She rubs her arm as if it were painful. Then her head perks up. "Hey, I could teach you that today!"

Both her eyes and lips smile together. It's contagious. "Yeah, that would be awesome."

"How about now? ...or when you're done writing." Her smile falls slightly.

"Actually, now would be great. I can write about it later." There's slight bounce in her heels when she goes to the door. It makes her seem like a kid. She's so cute.

"Come on we'll do it outside." I can't keep my eyes off her. She's so excited, it makes me excited. I follow her to the lake, keeping the appropriate distance.

The Sanctuary is alive. I can feel it in my being like when birds sing to announce the arrival of spring. The city parks and suburbs are not as lush as this. There's no one but us here. It's like a dream I never want to wake from.

"I'm sorry for acting like an idiot it's just..." She swings her arms slightly displaying another child-like quality about her. "... it's been a while since I practiced with anyone. Actually I've been alone so it's nice to have someone around. This is going to be fun." She clasps her hands. "Red used to help me practice." There we go again. Red. Being compared to him isn't bad if he's her boyfriend. I could be that.

Violet plops in the grass and I do the same. It's particularly annoying to have to be so far apart. She shows me how to relax and breathe, and focus on lifting my energy. I like listening to her voice describes what it looks like to see an aura of light around living things. I've seen the auras she described, but only around plants. I don't want to interrupt the heavenly flow of her voice with my questions. She tells me practice makes perfect. It takes a lot of eye training to adjust the eyes to see auras. Once I get it down, I could learn to decipher what the colors mean.

"So what color am I?" I ask.

"Well, you have mostly red, with gray and some blue mixes here and there."

"What does that mean?"

"The red means, you're very physical. You're very conscious of your body that is. Makes sense because of your ability."

I can feel my face heat up. "The blue means you're sensitive and affectionate."

Affectionate—that's strange to hear. "And the gray?"

"The gray's not good. Its mix with the red, looks kind of pink in areas," she hesitates. "It's murky which is negative; a disturbance or maybe its immaturity. I'm not sure. I told you I suck at this." Violet hugs her knees to her chest. "What happen to you?" she says softly.

I don't know how to respond. Immature, maybe because I'm sixteen, but the disturbance is a whole other story. Things happened to me and I did things.

"Alex told me that you're home life is not safe. You know you can talk to me, Gabriel. I'm here. That murkiness could be an unresolved issue that maybe talking about would help. Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head. It's upsetting that the colors she sees shows my _disturbance_. Like a scar, it's there for her to see. I will never talk about those _things_ with her—ever. It would mean reliving those nightmares.

"You know I can see your mood change too," she pouts.

Great.

"Your red is brighter. You're thinking physical thoughts, about your body. I know you hate your ability."

I'm physical. Keenly aware of my body in relation to others is a constant in my life. The monster that lives inside of me is part of this body—I'll never tell her that. I'm not going to confirm it.

"What about you? What color aura do you have?"

"I'm not telling. When you get it down, you can tell me." She hides her smile behind her knees. I can't help, but smile too. That will be nice to see what she's feeling or thinking through her aura. If Alex can read minds, then this is a step in that direction.

"So you said you're not even good at this?"

"No. I suck. Sometimes I can't and sometimes I lose the sight. And sometimes I don't know what the color means. Red never had a chance to show me much." Her smile droops followed by an awkward silence. She's thinking of Red, I'm sure of it.

"So how do we do this again?" I ask to distract her thoughts from thinking about Red.

"Relax your eyes, and look at me, but not directly at me. Look to either side of me. Remember relax your eyes. Kind of like those 3D pictures."

I'm good at those.

"Your eyes may go in and out of focus but that's okay. Your eyes are looking for the aura. You might see wavy lines—that's the energy. You might only see the aura color for like a second and it disappears. That's okay too. You'll get better at it. You're a lot stronger than I am."

"How do you know that?"

Violet looks guilty all of a sudden like she said something she shouldn't have. "Bumping into you on the street... you felt like Red a bit. Red is strong."

I always wondered what it feels like for the other person. Sometimes they seem to enjoy me and sometimes it seems I'm hurting them. I remember feeling Red in my dream. It was an intense touch for only few seconds. What would if feel like for her to touch me? Do I feel dangerous or do I feel enticing. "What does Red feel like?" I'm really asking 'what do I feel like'. I want to know. It may give me a hint of what she might think of me.

She slouches and bows her head. She can see through my words by the way she hides her smile.

"Overwhelming."

## Chapter Seventeen

Alex

I meet Dash at the street corner where we had left each other the night before. I know a mouth full is coming when Dash takes a deep breath.

"Don't say anything to her, but I took the journal on Red's desk. I didn't go to school—I played sick. It's the end of the school year anyway and testing is done. I couldn't put the journal down. I know it's wrong but I had to. Red said it was okay."

"You only just met her and you're stealing shit? It better be interesting."

"It was." He's drowsy and his crooked smile looks way too content. "Don't tell her I took it."

"Did you find Ryan Grey stuff?"

"Yeah and then some. I can't imagine what's in those other books." His eyes widen like a mad scientist.

"You read about Violet?" I pretend not to care.

"Yeah." Dash blushes.

Bingo. I dive into his head to pick off the Violet info, but it's a complete mess. I stop walking. "This sucks. I can't read your mind to see any of it. It's all cryptic."

"It's the journal. But I think there could be a way for you to see what I read. Red has the ability to come into our dreams and Violet said you have the same ability."

"Yeah, but I can't do that."

"Yes, you can. Your mind is always open so that can work in your favor."

"Dude, how much do you know? I'm trying to tap into that thought, D-man, but I don't see what you mean."

"I think I might know a way where I could share what I've read. But you're not going to like it."

"Whatever. If I can get to help Violet this way then I don't care."

"You mean get to know Violet?"

I have to give it to him. My flaring cheeks are a dead giveaway. "Yeah." I clear my throat. "So how do we do it?"

"Red is a telepath. That means he can go inside your head. When the other person is sleeping, he can enter their dream."

"I told you. I can't do that."

"Actually you can. You're telepathy is open and kinda out of your control so it'll be easy for you to slip into my head. The thing is I need to be close."

"How close?"

"Like in your bed sleeping close."

I rub my chin. Violet is so worth it. "Okay."

"Really?" Dash is surprised.

"Hey, man if sleeping with a guy will get me closer to Violet then so be it."

Dash turns flaming red.

"Ugh—that came out wrong. You know what I mean. So, my head is open?"

"Yeah, I could help you with control if you want—"

"Nah, I'll pass D-man. We'll let Red do that."

We see the abandoned building in the distance. It looks just as God-forsaken as it did last night. I follow Dash as he recalls exactly what floor and room the mirror is, like a mouse sniffing his way to the cheese. It's amazing that we'll enter a mirror to see the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. Dash is grinning because he feels he's created her. What a weirdo. He's got some strange ideas. Whether it's a premonition that he'd meet her, Dash isn't sure, but he's just as happy as I am to see her again.

"Telling from the grin on your face, you're thinking about her. I don't have to read your mathy mind to know that."

"Mathy?"

"Looks like Einstein took a shit in your brain. Do you know how old Violet is?" I ask before taking the step into the mirror.

"She's nineteen."

"I'm seventeen. Nineteen isn't old at all." I block his way through the mirror with my arm. "What else?"

"You can read her mind." Dash adjusts his backpack on his shoulder.

"She's hiding things. Her brain has dark spots. I want to know everything. "

"She's got a boyfriend." His stare challenges me.

"So what?"

Dash is debating on retracting his offer on viewing the journal with him. He doesn't need me knowing everything about her. He sees me as a rival. I smirk. He isn't sure his thought filtered through. I nod, "I heard you just fine. Tonight, we're doing this."

We walk through the mirror.

In the day light, the Sanctuary looks more like a meadow in the middle of a forest. The field of wildflowers I had not seen last night blooms in rich reds and yellows. Their fragrance slips into my nose. The breeze welcomes me. Violet walks to us from the cabin, rivaling the scenery. Her bouncing chestnut colored hair and her smiling face greets us. It warms my heart just like when my parents used to come home from their business trip. It's been a while since I've felt full in my chest.

Passing the lake I notice a black void that's oddly out of place in the lightness of the day. It's like a huge hole in the middle of the long line of trees that surrounds them. The sun doesn't penetrate the line of trees there.

"That's the Black forest," Violets says. "Don't ever go in there because you'll never come out. I can't even get you out. It's seriously creepy."

Dash grins at me.

Bastard, you already know about the forest, don't you? _I'd wipe that grin off if I were you. You don't want to hint you had read Red's journal without her consent._

Dash bites his bottom lip.

I almost didn't see Gabriel. With the hood up he looks like a black shadow casted from the forest. He's sitting on a log staring into it the dark abyss.

"I'll catch up with you guys in a bit." I break away from Dash and Violet. I know too much about his history, but I don't know what he's going through now. What kind of a person is living with Violet?

I sit on a log well away from him like Violet had said. I feel bad when he takes notice I've purposely keep my distance. It's a constant reminder that something is wrong with him. It hurts even if he's used to it. It hurts him even now.

"Hey, what's up?" I try to sound casual.

"Nothing." His hood hides his face well. He can't really hide, not from me.

"It doesn't look like nothing."

Gabriel is wondering why I'm making conversation with him if I hate him.

"I don't hate you," I say. "I just didn't know you. That's all." I shift on the log. "I'm sorry. I don't know if what I see is—"

"Can we not talk about it? I thought being here I wouldn't be questioned."

We sit in silence staring at the eerie Black Forest until I can't stand the awkwardness any longer. "What is it about this place you like so much? I'm a little freaked out just sitting here."

Gabriel lets out sigh. "Not sure. I feel like it has a purpose besides scaring everyone. Why would Red make it?"

I look at the blackness but I avert my eyes elsewhere. It feels like its staring right back at me. "Maybe it was an accident."

"It feels alive; like a living, breathing thing." Gabriel's head turns. I watch his face and his mind work into a greater curiosity for the dark trees standing before us. He sees himself in it, or that he is similar to it. Like an unintentional reflection upon himself. The forest is a living, breathing nightmare like Gabriel.

"I agree." I surprise him. He turns to face at me. His green eyes are a striking contrast to the black clothes. He looks as haunting as the forest; dark and surreal, yet memorizing like the Sanctuary itself. "I think there must be a purpose for it. It might look horrible on the outside but maybe inside it's nicer." I shrug my shoulders averting my eyes so I don't rudely stare into Gabriel's.

"I have a feeling it's just as bad as the outside. Violet said it's completely black in there and you don't know which way is which." Gabriel says disappointingly. "Even she's afraid of it."

"Maybe deeper there's something?" I try to help. But Gabriel still looks disappointed. "You're right. Why would Red make it if it didn't have a purpose?"

"What if its purpose is evil?"

"You're not evil, Gabriel."

He cringes. It's hard to manage thoughts, even if they are metaphoric. "How do you know?" He sneers. "You've seen what I've done. How could you say that?"

"You're not evil." I repeat. "You're just lost. Like all of us."

His lips purse firmly. He doesn't care what I think. He thinks I'm wrong. I'm not sure myself. I didn't know what evil looked like until I met him. He's remorseful for what he's done. The man that's continuously hurt him isn't. There's a difference. I don't think he should entertain the dangerous ideas he's contemplating in his head. We've all had those suicidal thoughts. Dash. Violet. Me. He needs to know that he's not alone, but for some reason I don't want to tell him that. I don't want to get involved.

I rise to my feet. I don't feel like being around him. "Don't think about going in there if you don't want to worry Violet."

Gabriel lowers his head. "What do you care?"

"I don't," I lie and walk away.

## Chapter Eighteen

Dash

Asking for water is a good idea to distract Violet while I take the opportunity to place the journal back. I quickly skim the more recent journals and pulls out one with Violet's name repeatedly in it. I quickly place it back on the shelf when Violet enters the room with my water. "I was putting it back, just curious." I point to the rolled up map sticking out of my backpack to distract her. "I read the map."

"Did you find anything?" She's so excited I wish I had found something.

"No. It doesn't mean anything." I lied. It's not that it doesn't mean something. I just don't know what. I'm ashamed to tell her that.

"Oh." She sits on Red's bed. She's so disappointed it looks like she's about to cry.

"Maybe there's something else in the room. I could take a look at."

"Yeah, okay." I can barely hear her. I place my hands in my pockets as she starts to cry. I don't know what to do with myself. I've never been alone with a girl—ever and to have one crying is awkward. I contemplate putting my arm around her until Alex steps in the room.

"Dude, what did you do?" He sits next to her without hesitation. "Hey, look at me, Vi."

Alex has a nickname for her? I roll my eyes as a hiss escapes my mouth. Alex glares at me. Violet wipes her tears away.

"Maybe there's something else Dash could do." He leans closer to her. "He could touch some of Red's things. Maybe he could get a feel for something."

That's what I said. I purse my lips.

Alex is too close, whispering "its okay" into her ear.

I could've done that. I grind his teeth.

Alex is one of those guys that charm girls and somehow their ears miraculously can hear again. His hand inches closer to her thigh and his eyes capture her attention. "We haven't been here long. It's just the first day."

The way he's acting sensitive makes me sick. Violet looks like she's about to melt into his arms. Telling from his open sitting position he's counting on it.

You must practice a lot.

Alex ignores my poor attempt to insult him and continues swaying Violet as if I'm not even there.

"I'm sorry it's just I don't know what to do next. I have you all here but..."

"It's okay." Alex says. "We'll find something to work off of. He's got plenty of stuff that's for sure. There's got to be something, right? Its obvious Red has a lot of faith in us to work this out. We'll find him."

The way Alex says that, I feel he's sincere. But I hate that she is comforted by him. It could've been me comforting her, but I'm too awkward. Alex inches closer while his greedy eyes take her in.

"I thought with the three of you, Dash would be the first to find something. I figured with all that he can see..."

My shoulders slump and my hands start to sweat in my pockets. She's counting on me. The weight of the task before me is bearing down now. How can I help her? I glance at the map. She was so looking forward to me finding something. The marks on it aren't meaningless like I had told her. It meant something. Like everything I see in that cabin I have no idea what it all adds up to. She's waiting on me. Red is waiting on me. Maybe I don't know anything. I don't know why Red chose someone so stupid to help someone so wonderful. I'm useless to her. I'm useless. Useless. Useless. Useless...

Dash? Alex's voice breaks my spell.

"What?" I open my eyes. Violet is across the room picking up a framed picture of an owl that looks like it had fallen from the wall. It resembles the same owl I drew in school the day I made the windows shatter.

"You made everything on the walls shake." Alex's brow wrinkles. "It was creepy dude. Seriously it was like Carrie up in here."

"Are you okay, Dash?" Violet approach cautiously. She instinctively reaches out to console me, but a thought must have interfered as she retracts her hand. I don't feel worthy of her sympathy anyway. She doesn't have to worry about me. She has Red to worry about. I only add to her worries with my incompetence.

"I'm okay," I say softly.

"Does that happen often?" She asks gently as if I'm growling dog.

I'm still. I'm unable to speak, wanting to tell her Yes, it happens often. It's worst when I'm upset. Things fall, crack and fling across rooms, but all I say is, "Not really."

Alex's brow creases. I forgot he can hear.

I can't look at her pretty face when I lie. How could I? I broke one of Red's pictures. I don't want to burden her with my problems. I'm supposed to be a chosen Hybrid. I'm supposed to be special. I'm not.

"I'll fix the picture." I stare at my sneakers.

"I'm worried about you, Dash. Are you really okay?"

No. I don't want to talk about it. "Don't worry about me." My eyes harden to keep from crying.

"Hey, Vi let's give Dash a few." He nods at me. "Maybe he could pick up something in the room. I bet he's more focused when he's doing his thing alone."

I nod back appreciatively. I need to get my bearings.

Thanks.

No problem. Violet doesn't care about the picture, so no worries.

The tension eases as they leave the room. Alex reminds me as he closes the door; remember you're not doing this alone.

## Chapter Nineteen

Gabriel

"Yo, we're leaving." A pillow hits my face. Alex and Dash have their backpacks on. "Tell Violet goodnight for us. See ya tomorrow."

I give them a wave as they leave. I sit up on the couch. It's quiet. Alex must have turned the TV off. I glance over at Violet on the sofa. Her pretty head rests on a pillow, her small body curls in the fetal position. Watching her breathe, I focus on the area around her; shifting my sight the way Violet told me to. I practiced outside on flowers and trees. By the afternoon I was seeing glowing red squirrels and orange bees.

Materializing out of thin air, a sapphire flame engulfs her. The color resembles the blue wildflowers I've seen in the Sanctuary field. Her aura strangely seems larger than normal from what she explained. I swear its expanding before my eyes.

"Violet?"

Violet whimpers in response.

"That is so sexy."

She whimpers again.

"Violet?" I hear another small sound escape her lips. This is funny. She responds to me. This will be an easy conversation. "I can see your aura. It's blue. I don't know what that means." I rise off the couch and approach the blue aura before me.

Her soft voice responds with a long sigh.

"It's bigger than mine. That's not fair." I chuckles to myself.

My red aura is only inches from hers. A warm sensation heats the front of my body alerting me I'm too close. "When people are too close, Violet, it gets warm." It's so easy to talk to her with her eyes closed. "I want to thank you for letting me stay here. It's peaceful. I think this is about the best thing that's ever happened to me. I know we don't know each other that well but... I think you're amazing." I lift my hand and hover it by the edge where our auras wait to meet.

She mumbles again.

"If I wasn't so messed up, I wouldn't mind sharing my space with you."

Violet shifts, turning her body slightly.

"Shit!" I fall back tripping over the coffee table. I scurry away on the floor before her aura collides with mine. For some reason the heat is still warming the front of my body. I lose my sight ability and regain focus quickly. Her blue flame is dangerously closing in on mine. It moved and it's still moving. Can auras do that?

"Violet?" My voice shakes.

She whimpers in response. Her aura inches toward me.

"Holy—" I scurry backwards until my back hits the wall. Slowly her auric atmosphere presses into mine like two bubbles joining. I try to fight the urge to immerse myself in her space entirely; pressing my back flush against the wall like it would help pull mine back.

I slowly rise from the floor, trying to avoid totally emersion. She has to be feeling this too. Would she remember this feeling? If I stay in this too long, it will be harder to fight the monster inside of me. For some reason it seems to be slow at waking. I try to convince myself that I can get closer as long as she doesn't wake. How much of her can I take? There's no one else around to stop me if my body gives in. I don't want to hurt her.

Suddenly, her aura overlaps mine. The merge is instant. An electrical charge shoots through me. My physical body tenses up. It's magnetic, like she's pulling me to her. I stagger forward like there's a rope around me. My blood is running hot just thinking about her doing this to me—it's so erotic. I've been with many people, but I never felt this.

Violet's body moves again, making a soft sound as she does. Is she having a bad dream? Does she feel me? Her aura tugs again. The sensation is similar to the night we bumped into each other. I thought that was all me. Clearly I'm not the one doing this.

I obey her gravity and move toward her. It's strong enough to release my alter-self which miraculously has not come out. If I let go, I'd have no problem taking what my body craves. My monster ego burdens my thoughts; she won't know, she's sleeping. If she wakes, she might give in. She might... like it. But I can't do that to her as much as I want her. Violet is someone special, I can't ruin her.

I curiously inch closer addicted to the spell she put on me. Praying I can keep this up, I kneel besides her wondering why she has this force. She's a hybrid, but what kind? She tosses and turns. Beads of sweat bloom on her forehead. Her lips are plump—so kissable. My body shakes and perspires just thinking about what it would be like to have her.

I'm jolted as the atmosphere changed; her aura retracts back to normal size. My energy wants to follow hers. I want to fully connect with her. I brace myself waiting for her receding energy to leave me. As it peels away, I'm disappointed it didn't last long. My body was triggered without causing her harm. I've relieved and exhausted. I've lost something in the connection. It feels an awful lot like sex.

Violet's whimpering stopped and her breathing is normal. The blue halo settles closer to her skin.

I didn't start this, it was her. She pulled me. I was the receiver. I've never felt it that way before. It's always me that lures. Somehow, I harnessed the monster inside. No. She pulled me apart from it.

I have to stay far away. Violet is like me.

## Chapter Twenty

Dash

"I did something bad." I walk faster to match Alex's long stride. He's stares at me and stops at the corner where we'll go our separate ways. It's weird feeling him in my head. It's like when I'm in my room and Cedric there' it's kind of reassuring that I'm not alone, but it's nerve-racking that he can see everything.

"Again?" He arches his brow. "Klepto."

"I took a different journal. This one I think something big happens in it. I just had to take it."

"Skipping school, stealing shit. I wouldn't have taken you as a rule breaker."

"Only when it's important. I feel guilty, but it's what Red wants me to do."

"Guilty. Yeah, you should be. You can just ask her next time. I'm sure with some convincing she'd let you take, but you didn't even try." Alex snickers. "You didn't think twice about taking it."

"Red wanted me to take it."

Alex shakes his head. "I see you, Dash. You don't care what people think as long as they don't bother you when you're in your own little world. You took it 'cause you wanted to, not because you wanted to help."

"That's not true."

"I tell it like I see it, even if it hurts. It's what people need. If you lie about this now, you'll keep lying and it'll get bigger. Violet won't forgive you."

"Is that coming from experience? You don't see it like it is. You only scratch the surface when it comes to people. There's only so much seeing you can do."

"Not according to Violet." He shifts his weight.

"You're a wolf in sheep's clothing; charming your way into her panties like she's one of the bimbos I'm sure you're used to sleeping with."

"At least I socialize. Maybe if you opened up, people won't think you're so weird."

"I don't care what people think of me."

"That's why you don't have any friends." He leans in close. "If you don't care about what people think, then you don't care about people. You break the rules thinking, 'fuck, them they're idiots'."

"That's not true." I push my glasses up.

"Who's the telepath, Dash?"

"Well, what about you?"

"What about me? You're going to read me?" He snickers.

"I can figure you out just as easily. You think by following the rules you can have control of what people think of you by performing; swaying the crowd like the actor you are. If you're not seen in a certain light you advertise. You're a player. You don't mind following the rules just as long as you're the one making them."

"I don't make all the rules. There's shit I have to deal with. Shit you don't know anything about." He stuffs his hands into his pockets.

"Like what? Being popular? Poor you."

"You have no idea."

"Just because you can read minds doesn't mean you know people. There's more than the brain when it comes to humans."

"Hybrids." Alex corrects me with smirk. "Look, just be careful with the books."

"I know. I care about her, too."

"You're holding the book like it's the Holy Grail of unlocking Violet's panties."

I release my grip around the journal and stuff it into my back pack.

"I'm right though. You're not so innocent." Alex bites his lip. "So, are you reading it tonight?"

"Yeah. Like you said, I like my own little world." I slink my bag over my shoulder and walk pass him.

Alex grabs my backpack and I'm tugged back. "You want to make a friend?"

I sneer. I hate that he's right about me. "Whatever."

"Your place or mine?"

"Yours. There's no privacy at my house." We both look awkwardly at each. But the idea that we will learn more about Violet overpowers the awkwardness.

"I guess we're both doing it for the wrong reason," Alex grins.

"Maybe." I comb my hair out of my eyes. "It doesn't have to be."

***

Dash

"All you have to do is sleep."

Alex gets comfortable in his bed. "Easy for you to say. I've never slept with a dude in my room."

I clear my throat. "I'll just be reading Red's journal while a connection is made between us."

"Connection between us? Can you not say shit like that?"

I ignore his homophobic comment. He's making such a big deal about this. Hasn't he ever had a sleepover as a child?

"Yeah, I have, when I was six. No one slept in the same bed." He sighs. "Just get on with it."

"With the lack of control, your mind is wide open to receive whoever is closest to you."

"Okay I get it. You're the radio, I'm the receiver."

"Actually, the radio antenna is the receiver. The transmitter creates radio waves through the air in which the antenna receives, making you both the transmitter and receiver."

"Who cares about the technicality shit! This is so gay, you know that?" Alex bashes his pillow with his fist and plops his blonde head down.

"Not for long." I try reassuring him.

"Alright, just watch TV or something." He waves his hand for me to leave.

"I don't watch TV."

"What? Who doesn't watch TV?" Alex winces. "Go do something 'cause I don't think I could sleep knowing you're about to lie down next to me."

I roll my eyes, leaving Alex to try to sleep. I wander the Aisling's large vacant house.

I check out the Aisling's mantle. Alex is an only child. I'd liked that. It's lonely having eight siblings and two parents who are oblivious to my existence. Alex must get a lot of attention. The family of three in each photo shows Alex growing taller. I pick up the latest one. The family photo taken in the front yard shows Mr. Aisling and Mrs. Aisling's smiles are the same as the last sixteen photos. But Alex's smile seems to have gotten smaller and smaller as time progressed. I'm wrong to assume Alex is perfectly alright. Withdrawn eyes with a goodbye expression like he knows this will be the last time he'll see these people.

My fingers rub the back of the framed photo. A feeling arrives with every touch—loneliness. Alex's parents are never around and when they are, they hound him to be the best—the best at everything. This is the toll Alex takes with following the rules—someone else's rules. I'm surprised I can tell this much about him from a picture. I place the portrait of their lying faces down.

A massive movie collection catches my eye. I skim my fingers across them and know from touching their spines that Alex has seen them all. From the titles, he isn't bias to a particular genre or period. Classic epics; foreign romance; fairytale animation; it seems he enjoys anything and everything, watching them alone for the full effect and peace of mind. It makes sense. He hears voices all day, so to watch actors in a movie without hearing their thoughts must be a relief. It's what he does to feel normal.

I chuckle a little at movies I would've never thought he'd watch, but in fact enjoyed. A guy like Alex watching chick flicks is priceless.

I make myself at home on an oversized sofa and begin sketching what Alex would look like sleeping. I put a lot of care into what his eyes might look like closed. His blonde hair is perfect in real life and so he's perfect in the drawing. He's flawless in every visual way; symmetry at its best. I wonder if it has something to do with being a hybrid; I'm not blessed with beautiful hair, an impeccable face and ideal body. Alex is so attractive. I begin to feel even more alien than before, staring at the image. Why are all my new friends beautiful? Why did I get the short end of the hybrid stick? Maybe I'm more human than alien? It would explain why I feel so common next to him. Maybe Red made a mistake? I'm no one special.

I finish my rendering of Alex. It's so flawless, it makes me sick. I'll have to hide it from him or he'll get the wrong idea like everyone else.

I check on Alex, who's finally asleep. He's on his back with one arm behind his head and the other occupying the empty space he left for me. I slowly move his arm away to lie beside him. His long fingers are perfect, and his nails are shiny. I look at my bitten ones disappointingly. Alex doesn't work with his hands like I do. The chalk, paint and clay do a number on my fingers. They'll never be as clean and soft as Alex's. He's just as impressive as the drawing. I props my head up on a pillow, giving him one last look before I read the book of secrets.

## Chapter Twenty-One

Alex

It's like any dream; foggy, blurry sometimes, it even skips like an old record and yet understandable and to the point. Time passes quickly like a flip book. I first observe the Sanctuary come to life. Like massive puzzle, the land shifts into place. The forest shoots up and the flowers emerge from the ground like a time lapse video. The seasons change just as quickly and the colors transfer from one to another like a mood ring. The sky moves from night to day; sun down to moon rising again and again.

Hovering within a body I have no control over. I identify the subject immediately as Red. I'm anxious as my floating self is trapped observing through Red's eyes. All the emotions Red feels, jumps from one to another quickly. It reflects the dream's immediate state of constant action.

Like an apparition solidifying, two figures kiss and hold hands between the trees. In the shadows of the forest Red watches from above. I think he's perched in a tree which is a strange notion. Observing the couple makes my chest ache. I can see the reason is clear. Violet is kissing. The simple fact is unsettling. _She's too young for this_ , Red's thought commentates. Ryan Grey is very attractive, but much older than I would've thought to be Violet's boyfriend.

She's sixteen. Red's soft voice sends a chill down where my spine should be. There's an overwhelming need to protect her as I watch the two. I realize this emotion is Red's and not my own. The distinction between us takes a bit of analyzing. Moment to moment passes and I can't define what is me and what his him.

We watch together and so we feel together.

Ryan Grey looks sad but his smile is genuine when he looks down at Violet. There's an aura of intensity about him. He has a full history at such a young age. Watching them closely, I receive information that this is their eleventh kiss. It's strange that Red is counting; an immature emotion I remember doing in elementary school. Its surprises me that Red is inexperienced in these sort of things.

A knot in Red's chest tightens, and like the first kiss Red wants to pull them apart. The scene changes again and again, multiple kisses over time. The pain increases.

Grey is with her. I wonder why Red would put himself through such torture, watching another man be with the girl he loves. It hurts like hell. Red's emotion tears through his chest like a knife every time we see Grey touch her. These are Red's burning emotions I feel. It's painful to keep from coming apart. I know what envy feels like. I've felt something mildly like this when Pete and Cher touch. For Red, it's more intense. The feeling is rooted deeper than I could ever feel for Cher.

The season changes and the feelings for Violet are the same. Red can't be without knowing what's she doing every waking moment. How far will Grey go with her? How much did he touch her today? Red is so pre-occupied with them, he neglects his other duties. Seeking out Hybrids comes after Violet. That is not allowed.

The dream environment shifts into a park with massive city fountain. Red's heart has settled a little. He looks away whenever they embrace. He's reevaluating the obsession he has for their love. They're happy and it is all Red ultimately wants for them. It's all he can give. Defeat is familiar to me. I've given up plenty of times just to please others. It's a sacrifice I make to remain the Alex everyone loves. The ache in my chest comes back when I see them kiss again. Watching the water fountain doesn't distract Red enough. He's is trying to endure it, but he can't help but feel with them.

I want out of this dream.

I want out now.

The environment goes dark and view through Red's eyes changes to the city.

I'm overwhelmed. My heart is pounding and it's hard to breath. Red is freaking out. He runs through the city streets at night looking for his missing Violet. Grey has taken her without his permission. He's been wandering the city looking for them, but something catches his attention in a dark alley. He senses something is there, what Red calls an entity; a being not categorized as anything human or Hybrid.

Sudden pressure at his temples sends me in a haze. Something is in the dark alley with us. Something brushes by Red's body taking energy from him. It causes everything to turn to black.

I'm in dark for a moment. Red wakes. Something is different; I feel even more emotional than before; hypersensitive and very awake. A dark fog obscures my vision. Nothing looks clear. He continues his frantic search through the city, obsessing over how much he finds Grey disgusting. Red is a negative bomb ready to explode and I can't escape the anger. This is not the feeling he had before. Something else, some other presence is disturbing all his emotions. I realize I may not be alone with Red after all.

He finds them outside of a club. Grey and Violet have become targets as Red's love for them turns sour. Red changes drastically, flipping his mind and emotions every second. Grey and Red argue and Violet is upset. It's confusing for me; a schizophrenic view at best. I'm trapped; consumed with intense emotions I want to get away from.

Everything cuts away into a choppy complexity of passion and rage. Red's last feeling could not be described as an unreadable mess. This insanity is going on longer than I'm comfortable with. I want to get out of the dream. I want to call Dash to stop, but I have no voice.

The environment darkens. It's hard to tell it's the Sanctuary, but the summoning of a storm. Red's heart is pounding for different reason. He's fighting to clear the fog. I observe Red reveal his feelings for Violet through a small window through the darkness. Her brown eyes plead him to stop hurting Grey who's on the ground curled up in a ball. It's hard to see her cry, but foreign presence taking up residence with me in Red's head, forces his sympathy to dissolve like it's nothing. Red wants to hurt Violet.

A flash of lightning makes my head hurt.

Red's running. The view of the Sanctuary shifts to a view of the city. The air pumping in and out of his lungs sounds like a machine rather than a human. His muscles burn from moving so fast, it feels like flying. When he lifts off the ground his leg muscles seize and the back and arms take over. He's flying but not as a man; as a cawing bird.

Violet and Grey are spotted on a roof top. The view flashes forward to Red drawing Violet from Grey to him like a magnet. She's hovering between them. The need to have her is great and I can feel the grasp he has on her aura, but energy explodes out of her. She's moving against Red's pull and has created her own. Her love for Grey triggered her power. It's beautiful. Violet fights to be with the one she loves. Red's heart breaks. It hurts so bad I want to cry but this isn't my body. Red doesn't cry but his presence emerges stronger than before. The instinct to protect Violet turns on like a light switch. The dark cloudy vision clears. Something feels like it wants to crawl up Red's throat and out the mouth. Red heaves and something comes out. The substance is black and slimy. The negativity leaves Red's body with the black vomit. The realization that the entity in the alley had entered his body is now being ejected. The dense shadow-like thing slithers after Grey who stands on the ledge. Red is scared that his friend will die. Grey jumps off the roof with the entity following and Red's heart explodes in pain.

The cityscape transforms into the great room at the Sanctuary. The connection to Red is lost and I feel more like myself pulling away from the dream. I'm now in my own dream, in my own body. Violet is smiling up at me as we dance. The song is faint and it's slowing down. The music box Red gave to me sits on the coffee table. The prongs pluck the notes until the last sound hums with Violet's face fading into blue dust.

## Chapter Twenty-Two

Gabriel

I rest my head back against the wood porch pillar, savoring the smell of the morning breeze as it triggers thoughts of walking to school. The decision to not go makes me feel a bit guilty. I should go. I'm supposed to. I haven't gone since Violet allowed me to stay in the Sanctuary. For some reason, she hasn't mentioned it.

There's only one reason I'd go back and that's Josh. I don't know what I'd say if I see him. I'm sure the reason he didn't show at school is he resents me. After that night, he must feel ashamed. Maybe it's good I don't go back to school. Josh doesn't need someone like me around.

I shift my outstretch legs and look down at my written work. Last night brings a smile to my face. Violet has an aura like mine and its strong. I'll keep the experience to myself. I'll enjoy the retelling in my journal to rekindle the feeling that gives my body pleasure again and again every time I read it.

If she's like me, than why doesn't she stay away from Alex and Dash? Did they not feel her aura? Maybe because we're alike we're double the trouble. She called me 'overwhelming'. Though last night, she felt strong, but that could be related to her dream. I wish she would tell me about herself. Knowing we're alike makes me feel less lonesome. We can talk about it together. Explore it together. I'd like last night to happen again. I live here now, so what's to stop me from a small kiss. Can I pull that off?

"What are you smiling about?" Violet sits on a rocking chair on the shaded porch. She makes jeans, a loose t-shirt and bare feet look so sexy. I'd love to see her in something more feminine. "It's beautiful today." She looks out on the Sanctuary. "I guess that's something to smile about."

"Today? It seems every day here is beautiful." I've never spoke openly to anyone other than Josh and his family. She makes me feel normal, comfortable in a natural kind of way. I gaze at the sunlit landscape. The warmth here is nothing like the overbearing one in the real world.

"You look nice without your hoodie. I can really see you." She rocks in the chair with on foot on the floor and the other propped up on the arm of the chair. I veer away before my eyes stare. "Did you have breakfast?"

I pick up two apple cores beside me. "Sorry, I'm used to just grabbing and going."

"Next time I'll make breakfast."

No one except Josh's mom has made breakfast for me. "That would be great."

"You want to sit by the lake?" she asks.

"Sure." I feel awkward when we leave the porch. We have to walk so far apart it's ridiculous, when only last night we shared the same space. The breeze hits my skin and I feel naked without my hoodie.

"Why do you stay farther away from me than everyone else?" I stuff my hands in my pockets.

Violet stares back at me as if I sprouted wings. It's a simple question, but she is in a tug-of-war in her own head. We're the same. I just want her to say it. I understand she maybe too embarrassed to.

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. I remember her ignoring my question before when I asked what her ability is. Dash and Alex are allowed closer. The more I think about it, the more I want to know if I'm right. "Why?" I repeat.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel. I don't want to talk about it. We can talk about anything else."

I nod. I respect her wish because I wished the same with Josh. I don't want to push her. I understand she doesn't want to share something that personal. I have my own demons I'd never share with her for as long as I live.

"Tell me what you know about Red." I change the subject as we sit beside the lake. Bugs skip on the water and the sound of them buzzing is relaxing. It feels like summer here.

"I've known Red for a long time, but my memory was affected in an accident so some of my memories are lost or scattered. I'm still regaining some of them, mostly through dreams. What's your first impression of him?"

My cheeks heat up. "He's interesting to look at. He seems pretty cool. It feels like he could kill me with just his eyes. He has a wicked presence."

"I know what you mean. When he first brought me here, I was frightened of him. He's dark and his eyes are incredibly beautiful, there's something behind them; something big. You can feel him when he's in the room. You're body tenses like there's danger, but Red isn't dangerous that way. He's gentle, sweet and kindhearted. When he smiles my heart melts. We..." Violet touches her lips. Her blushing cheeks make me uncomfortable. I wonder if they were ever intimate. "I know he works hard to keep us safe." She continues. "He's the Guardian; the only one watching all of us. It's ridiculous really. I mean just one Guardian to protect all of us. He's overwhelmed, I know it. But now he's out there..." Her eyes settle on the lake.

"What do you think happened to him?"

Her eyes flutter like she's going to cry. It's the wrong question. I don't want to see her look so sad. I scratch my head and change the direction of the conversation. "Um... he has powers. I've felt it in my dream."

"I know. You and Red share the same ability. The energy that surrounds you is your aura. The thing is..." She crosses her legs. "The energy is particularly strong in you, so strong that it has its own gravitational pull. It operates on a nature stronger than human."

I wince. Stronger than human? "Alien."

Violet nods. "Red had told me in my dream that your compelling aura is an alien characteristic. We all have auras that can affect others but because of the alien genes, your aura can be manipulated and manipulate other. You lure, Gabriel, because it's your nature to use it for prey and..." her eyes dart away to her hands picking grass, "and other things."

"Other thing?"

Violet blushes.

Oh! My face is burning up. Is she talking about mating? "That explains a lot."

"I don't know anything about our kind. I'm afraid Red will have to explain things to both of us."

I like the way she smiles. It brightens her face. If only she did it more often. "What about Alex and Dash?"

"It's the same with them only they inherited different aspects. Dash and Alex are more cerebral ours is more... primal."

Ours? She just admitted it! But then that means... She's primal too. That's what makes me tick. That's what makes me want to devour everyone. It's sick. What about her? I watch her chin rise to greet the warm sun. My gaze travels to her neck. The urge to sink my teeth in makes my heart race. If she was closer, I think I could lose control easily.

"Is that why you're always farther away? You're afraid of me because I'm dangerous?"

She lowers her head. "I'm not afraid of you." She ties a stray thread around her finger. There's more she wants to say as she chews her lip.

She's afraid of something. "You said I look like him." I confess.

She smiles slowly in a way that makes me wish she sat closer so I can take in the details better.

"Yeah, you really do. But your eyes are different." The corner of my mouth twitches into a smile, which I hide from her with my hand.

"Why does his eyes look so...," I try to explain but words escape me.

"Beautiful?" She swoons. "The way his eyes change color."

"It's so unreal. I've never seen anything like it."

Violet's face slowly goes from a happy thought to the most sorrowful frown. What did I say wrong? Oh, that's right... he's missing. "You must really love him?"

Violet nods. "Yes, I do. Very much." She folds her hands.

I wish she'd talk about me that way; but I'm nobody and Red is... Extraordinary. Even though it was a dream when we met, there was something magnificent about him. A part of me wants to meet Red in real life, but the another part wants to replace him. I look like him. I want to use that.

"We'll find him." I say just to make her smile and she does but a part of me doesn't mean it at all.

## Chapter Twenty-Three

Alex

I wake to find Dash next to me with a puddle of drool dampening my clean bed sheets. I shove him off the bed. Dash hits the floor with a loud thud.

"Ow!"

I stare down at him. Dash rubs his side.

"Dude, totally gay! Why are you still here? I thought you'd leave afterwards."

"I was tired." Dash furrows his brows. He combs back the hair that covers his eyes.

"Jesus, your bedhead is horrible. Get a haircut."

"You saw everything right?" Dash grabs his sneakers.

"Yeah, but why did you stop? There had to have been more." I rubs my eyes.

"I got tired and fell asleep. Plus it stops when he leaves. There's no more after that."

"When he leaves? I saw up to when Grey jumps. I got to tell you. It was a nightmare. I think I was possessed."

"We can go over it again. I don't mind."

"Grey and Red were close but why doesn't she talk about him. Grey was her boyfriend. She didn't seem torn between them. It was obvious she loved Grey. I'd read her mind but it has holes, like, memory loss or something."

"I think the holes in her memory have to do with the trauma Red was 'fixing'. Dash grabs his glasses off the nightstand.

"Fixing what?" I rub my head. "Wait, is this another book?"

"Yeah. Sorry." Dash stands. "Red took her memories away. If Red can go into her mind and take away her memories, what else could he do? It seems he hid a lot from her."

"He did what? How many books did you read? I thought this makes two." I point the journal.

Dash averts his eyes. "I took a glance at some of the others."

He scans books and that counts as reading somehow to Dash.

"Red can do a lot more than what we saw." He pauses for a moment but hesitates, to say any more like it's a secret between him and Red. "So, what are you doing today?" He changes the subject.

"If you think we're hanging out you are sadly mistaken my friend." I leave my bed to check my reflection. In the mirror, Dash lowers his head, and rakes his hair. This kid is always lonely. Even with a large family, he has no one. He doesn't have any friends. He spends a lot of his time on his own in his room, drawing picture of naked chicks and calling it art.

"Whatever." Dash grabs the journal and his backpack. He expects this kind of an answer and shrugs off the let down like it's the norm.

"Wait." I roll my eyes. "We might as well grab something for breakfast."

He tries to fight a smile. I hear the celebration inside of his head like he finally got what he always wanted—a friend to talk to.

***

Dash

I finish my pancakes, trying to fill Alex in on what I've read thus far, but it doesn't keep his eyes at the table. The cute redhead named Laurie, waiting on us, distracts him again as she passes to take another table order.

"What do you think about the whole roof Grey thing?" I place my fork down.

Alex's eyes follow Laurie as she makes her way across the diner.

"Alex!" I kick him from under the table.

"Ow! I'm listening. It's just a lot of story to take in." His gaze reluctantly makes it back to the table. "Remind me again, Grey came back fine after the jump, right?"

"Right. Don't you think it's weird that Grey came back fine? What happened to the thing that was in Red?"

"I wouldn't call it fine. You said he flipped on her. Maybe it went into Grey." Alex rubs his forehead. "But Red scanned him. He was reading fine. I don't know. I would need to see for myself."

"Yeah, maybe you can pick up more information."

"That Grey guy didn't seem so bad, but from what you told me he seems... off... " Alex trails off as Laurie comes back to fill our mugs that don't need filling. She seems interested in him since her eyes never meet mine. He displays a charming smile I've seen him use on Violet. It so fake I want to point it out to the stupid girl. At least Violet isn't as bad as Laurie. Though, he gets her to bite her lip. I wish I had that effect on girls—especially Violet, but without being fake. He pulls his eyes away from Laurie when she walks away.

"I can hear you, remember?" Alex grips his coffee mug.

"I haven't forgotten," I grin.

Alex stirs his coffee. "I think that the journal isn't showing everything. It felt like I was being rushed through the whole thing. Did you speed read or something?"

"No. But I know what you mean." I put my fork down. "I don't like not knowing everything. It bothers me that Red could be filtering what we read. It's genius and it's annoying."

"None of this is logical; it's all fairytale magic and shit." Alex sips his coffee. "The deeper we go the crazier it sounds. I can't believe any of this stuff is happening to us." He shifts in his seat. "What else can Red do?"

Red can do a lot. I don't want to share it with Alex. Things I saw elsewhere. Things I don't think were meant to be shared. I have a gut feeling it's for my eyes only.

"I can't see your thoughts as clearly when you think about the journals. It kinda freaks me out," Alex narrows his eyes. "It's mathy and shit." His eyes squint just trying to see into my mind. I'm glad he can't see everything.

"Stop thinking about it, it's actually hurting my head. Feels like I'm in school."

I snicker until he's is distracted once more when Laurie makes another appearance with two pieces of pie.

"On the house," she says leaning in close to Alex. "I hope you're hungry." She bats her lashes at him. I'm pretty sure she had unbuttoned the top two buttons on her waitress uniform to reveal her fleshy cleavage. Alex and the waitress eye fuck each other for a moment, like a private conversation is taking place. I try to look away but there's nothing but the damn pie. Laurie finally leaves the receipt in front of him. His eyes follow her backside as she walks away.

"Alex, what did we agree to?" I push the pie away. "I mean are we in over our heads?"

Alex snaps back to the conversation like Laurie doesn't exist. Surprising, he picks up where they left off. He's been paying attention.

"Violet, is why we do this. She's what we all want, right?" He simply says, flipping over the receipt His smile is a devious one. He digs one finger into the pie and puts it in his mouth. "You pay for this and I'll handle the tip."

I look at the receipt as he leaves the table. In large girly handwriting, Laurie leaves a message when she'll be getting off. Alex goes through the same door Laurie had a moment before. I pay for breakfast, but he still hasn't come back. I go to check on him and find the door locked. I press my ear to it. It sounds like Laurie has gotten off early. From the sounds of her moaning voice, Alex is leaving a generous tip.

## Chapter Twenty-Four

Alex

The crumpled sheets and pillows in the center of the bed are obvious—the bed was slept in. The room reeks of the other guy—Grey. Did she sleep in his bed? Dash would know just by looking. Why did this guy leave her? Why would I remind Violet of this guy? Maybe it's because he loves music just as much as I do; or maybe it's something else. This guy was her real boyfriend, the one she had fun with. The one she... I look away from the bed. I hate the bed.

I saw through Red's envious eyes the love they had for each other. Not being the one that she reaches for hurts like hell. It ripped a hole in Red and I felt it. To recall the rooftop scene makes me envious. This guy loved her. Did she do it with him... here? Dash will have to cough up that info later. I gaze out of the windows to the dark view of the forest. Creepy as hell.

I turn to the music collection. This guy has good taste in music. Maybe that's why I remind her of him. I grab an LP off the wall.

The door creeks open.

Violet stands awkwardly in the doorway. Her brown curls are tied back. It's the first time I notice her bare neck. That's where _Grey's_ _necklace_ used to be; the one Dash told me about.

"Oh sorry, Vi. I couldn't find you so I—" I place the LP back on the shelf. "It's just his music collections is massive and the vinyl... God, he's got some rare stuff."

"It's fine, Alex." She doesn't mind that I'm looking around or even touching the music, but the room itself is Grey. She doesn't want me to ruin anything. I can see the sadness in her eyes as she approaches the bed and sits. She doesn't come in this room much, but when she does, she cries in the pillow in the center of the bed. She's the reason for the unmade bed.

Her hands skim the sheets and she begins to cry.

"Vi," I sit beside her, I don't hesitate to place my arm around her. I don't care what the rules are. I know I shouldn't because she's triggered or something. I touch her. My skin feels like it wants to connect with her. I would if I had more hands. She doesn't seem to notice because she's thinking about Grey. I don't like seeing girls cry. The first thing I usually do is take advantage or run from them. Touching is consoling and consoling makes them feel they can trust me with their pain. Of course, I know the right things to say and the right way to touch. But Violet is different; for some reason I can't go all the way. I can't lure her.

All I know about her is from what Dash told me from Red's journal. Even when I had first seen her in my dream, the image Red had forced into my mind, I instantly felt something for her. I have a feeling she's more to me than just a hybrid girl I'm helping. The music box without the prongs to make music I recall from my dream, I have to fix it for her. What does it mean? That part of the dream doesn't make sense. The part where Red said to trust Violet is all that makes sense to me.

I rub her shoulder as I listen to her sniffle. The last time I rubbed a girl's shoulder like this was so she would be coaxed into having sex with me after her mom died.. I won't do that. Not to her.

I let my arm fall away from her and instead I listen to Violet's mind as she recalls moments I had only saw in the journal. Grey is her boyfriend and she misses him so much. The new vision the repeat of pulling off of her necklace is something that torments her. I'd try to sympathize with her pain, but I don't know how I should feel. Part of me is happy she doesn't have that guy in her life. I'm hoping we'll never get around to finding Red.

How selfish.

"Thanks for sticking around to help." She wipes her tears away.

Great, now I feel bad.

She places her hand on mine. A slight haze falls over me like when I've smoked weed, but I try not to react. I like that she is touching me. She must have forgotten she shouldn't touch.

"Yeah no problem" No problem? What the fuck did I just say? The Alex thing to say is _'sure baby, you know I'm here for you'_ touch her cheek, give the sparkling smile they all swoon for. I can't do that to her. She's different. Great, now I actually care? Why do I care?

I avert my eyes from Violet and her hand slips away.

Shit.

"You're welcome to listen to his music. I do."

She's so sweet. It's hard when that's the thing she did the most with Grey. That wasn't what I thought they might've done the most. What I'm thinking is what _Alex the Great_ does the most. Has she slept with Grey? I search her mind, but I see them doing everything else except for that _one thing_. It brings some relief to me for some reason. She's still a virgin. It's nice to sit and chill with her, but she'll only be thinking of _that guy_.

"I have an idea." I get up and grab a forty-five record off the wall. I set the record player up and place the needle on the vinyl. Grey never danced with her. This is my thing. I walk over and offer my hand when the sixties slow groove starts.

"Oh Alex, I don't know." She hesitates and places her hand in mine. I swiftly pull her up and swing her around. Violet smiles unknowingly giving off her subtle energy which is hard to ignore. The energy is like a warm breeze. I'm not about to point it out to her. I want to touch her. She's mild compared to what I've seen with Gabriel.

The sound of music clears the air of every thought including mine. Making her smile is enough. That's what she needs. It's what I need. I lead with easy steps and she follows. Her foot step on mine and her giggling warms my heart.

"Who's this?"

"Solomon Burke, the King of Rock N' Soul."

I gaze down at her, singing the lyrics about loneliness and crying on someone's shoulder. I hold her closer when she gets the steps down. She giggles as I continue to imitate Solomon and his soulful voice. I twirl her around to make her laugh. For the first time I wish I could drown out the music just to hear her thoughts. Not because she turns me on, but because she makes my heart skip a beat, letting me know that something different is happening. She gazes up at me in a way that makes me so nervous I have to pull my eyes away. Her body is giving off that vibe—the subtle sensation that pulls my body closer.

Am I doing this to her? What is she doing to me?

Girls don't do this to _me_ —I do this to girls. Her head rest on my chest. Our steps slow and the song changes. Solomon sings about beautiful brown eyes. We rock slowly to the song, until the only sound is the static from the needle. The energy field I'm immersed in is more noticeable. As I pull away I feel lighter, like she's left me entirely empty. Has she taken something from me? She had a grasp on me. What does that mean?

I listen to Violet's mind as I place the vinyl back into its sleeve and carefully back on the shelf. Her thoughts confirm that she noticed she was using her aura, but decides not to say anything since it's _too mild_ for me to feel. That was mild? She's embarrassed she liked dancing with me. She's embarrassed because she liked it too much.

I felt that.

I don't mention it so that I can continue to be as close as I like.

"That was nice, Alex." _I've never dance with any one like that before._ "You like dancing?" she asks.

"I love dancing and singing."

"Is there anything else your good at?"

_Kissing._ "I can play a few instruments." _I've kissed tons of girls._ "My favorite is the piano." _I'd love to kiss you_ _._

"I wish I had a keyboard or something. I'd like to hear you play." There's an awkward silence that has her nervous for a topic to talk about.

She's nervous... because of me? "You have any talents, Vi?" _Bet you're a good kisser._

"No. Maybe you could teach me a few things." _Piano sounds romantic._

I smile at her thought. I want to follow that thought, but I don't want it to lead to Grey or to Red. I want it to lead to me. _I could teach you so much._ "I'll teach you the piano. I've got a keyboard at home." I walk over to her, with my suddenly sweaty hands in my pockets.

Violet tilts her head to look up at me. "I'd love that."

I'm surprised as her thoughts describe the light catching yellow flecks in my amber eyes. She thought they make my face look kinder and more down-to-earth. She wonders how much more of me will surprise her. I try not to smile at the fact that she must've forgotten I read minds. She's forgets a lot. "The piano is probably the easiest." I clear my throat.

"Good because I have a feeling I would suck as a student." She takes notice of the light hitting my hair making strands look gold. Looking over my face, she thinks I'm attractive.

Yes!

"I'm sure you'll be fine." My heart flutters for the first time. Again, she makes me do things girls never have done to me before. I don't want her to stop her thoughts on me. I'm staring and I know it. I want to kiss her so badly. She pushes her silly thoughts on how interesting I am aside because she doesn't want to spoil anything. Shes hard on herself like she's doing something wrong by having interest in me, questioning if it's right and calling herself stupid.

I wince at her negative thoughts. She's not like other girls.

She looks at the clock on the nightstand. I'm disappointed that it's time to leave. I just want to keep staring into her beautiful brown eyes. Dance with her all night. Sing to her. Kiss her all over.

"Thanks Alex." It felt really nice. She heads for the door.

"Wait." For a moment I question myself but she makes my nerves crazy. "If you ever need to just get away; stop thinking for a while; or if you just need to talk, I'm here. I know what's it's like to want to escape."

"I don't want to escape. I don't want to..." Hurt anyone again. She averts her eyes away. "Thank you, Alex."

"I mean it. Any time." Anytime you need me, I try my best to project these words in her head. I know she heard me by the smile she has leaving the room. My words worry her. The connection to Violet slowly pulls away. I think I got to her ...or maybe she got to me.

## Chapter Twenty-Five

Gabriel

It's getting harder for me to see what I'm writing when I'm drawn to the sun's blaze brightening into red to end the day. The heat that suddenly rides my back moves slowly from my spine and spreads across my shoulder blades. My pen slips from my hand as the source of the erotic sensation backs away reluctantly; the presence that can only be Dash ignoring the personal space rule. I swear he's doing it on purpose.

"Hey!" I turn to find him backing away, stopping mid-way. He licks his lips and stands with his hands in his pockets like he had been caught with a hand in the cookie jar.

"Hey." Dash's eyes peek from behind the flop of hair guarding his excessive staring. Their accessing me again, debating something. I'm not sure I want to know. I stand to complete the correct distance.

"Distance. Remember?"

"Ah, yeah." He rubs his shoulder. "Right."

Liar.

"I have something to show you." He looks down at his sneakers. "If you're not busy."

"No, not really. What is it?"

"Red's room." He finally brush's his hair from his eyes making intense contact with mine. "I fixed it."

I'm puzzled at what he means.

"Come. I'll show you."

I'm not sure what makes me more uneasy, Dash's smile or him wanting me to go to Red's room with him. I follow him and quietly sneak past Alex and Violet in a conversation in the living room. Dash opens the door and invites me inside. My skin prickles recalling the horrible feeling of being skinned alive.

"You won't feel anything, I promise."

I brace myself and step through the threshold. I feel nothing except Dash's eyes on my backside.

"How did you do this?"

"I found a way to remove Red's residual energy."

"You didn't have to do that. There's no reason I should be in this room anyway."

Dash closes the door behind me. "Well, I had something in mind."

I swallow hard. I should leave.

"I mean it is Red's room and he is missing so..." Dash pushes his glasses up and folds his arms. "I mean you are here to help. You should have access."

"Right." He has a point. I can't help in any way. I have a condition, not an ability.

I try to ignore his gaze and take in Red's room. Red is the guy I met in my dream. The guy Violet loves. The guy that I look like; the one she compares me to.

"Violet's going to be pissed. He's all she talks about. You took away something she loved about this room."

"I think it would be better for her to lay off the Red high for a while. His residual is strong and she needs a clear head."

High? "What gives you the right to do that?"

"I left the bed untouched. She'll sense him there. I'm not insensitive." Dash walks to the wall of journals. His finger skims the lower shelf as if he's looking for a specific one. He looks comfortable in this room, as if it were his. His eyes squint reading the spines even with his glasses on. He grabs a book from a shelf. Is he allowed to do that? "There is another reason I brought you here. This would be a perfect place for it. We wouldn't be found for a while, especially if Alex keeps Violet busy."

I'm afraid of what he might say. Dash is curious enough about me. I don't need another obsession. Not here in a place where I'm supposed to feel safe. Not in the Sanctuary.

"You up for an experiment?" He brushes the hair out of his eyes. They're a deep pine needle color. The way they're affixed on me like I'm dinner creeps me out.

I swallow hard. "Experiment?"

***

Gabriel

"Are you sure about this?" I handcuff myself to the iron railing. If I'm to change my mind, now would be the right time. The sun is setting behind me. It'll be too dark to tell what Dash and I are doing on Red's terrace.

"Trust me. This will work." His eyes flash up from measuring the chain length that will hold me at the correct distance. I look down at my handcuff to avoid his lingering eyes. They always look at me in a way that makes me feel exposed. Like he's trying to figure me out.

"Why are you doing this for me anyway?"

Dash takes a moment to answer. He making sure his chain is long enough to move forward to my personal space and short enough so our bodies won't physically touch.

"You want to be able to get closer to people, right?"

"Yeah but—"

"It's just the beginning. It'll get easier. Red can manipulate his energy; pulling it within himself. You're both similar. If he can control it, so can you. I think with practice you'll be able to do that without... you know, turning people on."

My cheeks burn. How does he know that much?

"Gabriel, your key." Dash holds out his palm to receive the cuff keys. He's asking 'Do you trust me?'

I look down at the hand hovering close to my personal space like a gun pointing to my face. I'm not falling for that trick. Josh already tried that. I don't trust anyone except Violet. Once the keys to the chain and cuffs are in Dash's hands, he'll have the final word on what happens next.

"You didn't answer my question. Why are you doing this for me?" I clutch the keys.

"Because I can."

"That's not good enough?"

"We're Hybrids. We should help each other."

He doesn't have to help me, but I'm grateful for it if it's for a selfless reason. I have a feeling it's not. I don't want to assume, but I've seen the signs a million times. I've lost too many friends. I don't know Dash very well. He's been nice to me to say the least. Even the first day we met, he didn't seem scared or weirded-out by me as people usually are. Instead, he seems fascinated. Even walking too close to me the first night we all met. What's in it for him?

Dash sighs. "If we can't help each other, how are we to help Violet?"

Violet. I toss the keys to him.

He has the keys. What have I done?

Our eyes meet as if Dash can hear me, confirming my thoughts. Even though he isn't a mind reader, he has a keen sense of things. His attention to detail is worrisome. Hiding and being ignored is what I'm used to. Not being a focus of someone's attention.

Dash handcuffs himself to the long chain, which is chained to the bed. He throws the keys to our handcuffs across the room. Hearing keys hit the floor, I question if this is a good idea. We're locked so we can't touch, but the moment he enters my aura space there will be no turning back. I fear whatever friendship we would've had is now out the window. I hope for Dash's sake he knows what he's doing.

"First, you need to relax."

"I am relaxed." My heart is racing like the Indie 500.

"I can see you're not. Just try to meditate. I know you're good at that."

Jesus, has he been watching me?

"You remember how your body feels when you do that? Find that."

I can't relax with Dash's eyes staring at me.

"I don't feel anything. It's hard because I'm usually alone when I meditate."

"Gabriel, you need to try harder. The whole idea is to be able be near people. You can't do that with no one around. Focus on your aura, the space around you. You should be able to make it shrink back. Move the energy inside of you. Pull it back."

I close my eyes and after few minutes of silence my body relaxes.

"Let your breathing slow."

I sink into my state, drowning out the world, except for Dash's lulling voice.

***

Dash

His chest rises and lowers slowly and more evenly. His brow is no longer knotted. His jaw is lowered slightly and his hands aren't balled up. The details tell me that Gabriel is completely relaxed. "Now with each breath, imagine pulling your energy inside of you. Breathe it in with each breath."

I study the micro details of Gabriel's body which display he may be successful in the task. I slowly step closer not to disturb his focus. I take a final step forward confirming his aura had indeed moved.

Taking another step, my nervous breathing breaks his concentration. His eyes flash open and his aura expands like a wave crashing over me.

Gabriel's face changes; his eyes turn dark and hungry. He attempts to step forward, but his handcuffs won't allow it. His intensity shoots a vibration through me like an electrical shock. Struck with desire I couldn't have conjured myself, I obediently come forward as far as the chain would allow me. A fire burns within Gabriel's eyes. A fire I want to feed. I read the details in his body language, taking in every muscle movement, allowing the pheromones to intoxicate me. I'm love drunk and below my belt aches. I have an overwhelming need to unlock our handcuffs and bath in more of Gabriel. But I remember I threw the keys across the room. I scurry for the keys and reach helplessly.

The clingy sensation leaves my skin as I leave Gabriel's aura space.

"This wasn't a good idea." He crouches with nowhere to hide.

I give up on the keys. My body is still reacting to Gabriel, so I sit still not to disturb the front of my body any further. "It's fine." My breathing is a giveaway that I'm not.

"I'm sorry." Gabriel says. "I'm hopeless. I feel like it came out stronger."

"No. You did it." My voice is not quite my own. I watch him drag his fingers through his black hair. My ability to see detail adds to my new obsession—Gabriel is fascinating. "Whatever you did, do it again." I pull on my jeans a little for some relief.

"I don't think I can. I don't think I should."

"You have to. You have to be able to suck it in even when you're distracted."

"I can't. I-I need a moment."

"Yes, you can. Now is better. That energy can be manipulated. Use it. Pull it in," I say firmly.

Gabriel's eyes are weary and his body is limp from the energy burst.

"Do it for Violet. You'll be able to be closer to her—close enough to touch her."

He closes his eyes and smiles.

"Whatever you're doing right now keep doing it." My hand reaches out in front of me. "It's working." I can hear his breath has purpose. His breathing staggers out and he lets it go.

"See? You did it quicker this time. Did you feel it? Where your aura went and what you were doing to keep it there?"

Gabriel nods. His smile is amazing. "I can feel it gathering in certain places, my chest, forehead, my middle..."

I comb my hair out of my face. "Practice. More practice." I scan Gabriel's happy face. There's brightness in his eyes that lights up his entire being. I'm helping him. The ache below the belt returns. "Again." I order.

***

Gabriel

"Again," Dash says. I uncomfortably cuffed to the railing with my hand is above my head. I'm exhausted. My aura pulsing in and out of my body takes a lot out of me. Not to mention Dash's greedy eyes. I know he's helping me but those eyes. He's not okay.

"You don't look good." I watch Dash move his leg like someone with too much caffeine in their system.

"I'm fine."

"I know what happens after, Dash."

"What do you mean?" He pokes at the keyhole in his cuffs with a paperclip.

"People get weird."

"Well, you're in luck, I'm already weird." He blows his hair from his eyes.

I can see that. "I mean usually people tend to get obsessive or embarrassed. I make them feel—"

I don't know how to tell Dash I know the real reason he's helping me. I left an impression. Just like Josh, Dash will no longer be a friend, but see me as something more.

His intense stare keeps threatening me. It makes me uncomfortable. I wonder how much longer it would be before Violet or Alex will find us? How long until he picks the lock?

"I don't think you have to worry about me." Dash says cooly.

"It's never works out that way."

"Why not?"

"Bad things happen."

"Like?"

I want to hide. My eyes are welling up; I'm trying to hold back before tears make their claim on my cheek.

"Gabriel, it's okay. I'm not like other people. Nothing bad is going to happen. We're still friends, right?"

I nod. I'm not convinced Dash wants to be just friends.

The door opens. Violet and Alex stand dumbfounded at the scene.

"Whoa! What's going on? Why are you chained to the bed?" Alex picks the keys up and unlocks Dash. He stops in his tracks before he gets too close to me. Dash takes the keys from him and walks straight up to me. My front is on fire. The intensity is too much but Dash must be repressing himself and so am I. How can he do that? It takes every part of my being to hold myself back with Alex and Violet watching. Dash stares into my eyes for a brief moment. His breathing is heavy. Is he doing this because he wants to prove something or my aura did damage. When the lock clicks open he leaves the room quickly.

Violet is still staring with her mouth wide open. Alex awkwardly frowns, uneasy about what he must be picking up with telepathy.

"Gabriel?" Violet covers her mouth.

It's too embarrassing. What does she think happened here? I rush out of the room instead of answering her.

Dash is sitting on the sofa. His legs move nervously about, while his hands rub his thighs.

"You are not okay," I say.

He nods without looking at me. "I'm okay."

He isn't. What we did in Red's room proved it's gotten to him. I know all too well what will become of this. I'm hoping Dash is right, that I have nothing to worry about; that Hybrids are different. But instead of helping me, the situation hurt Dash.

"We have to stay away from each other, okay?"

Dash looks up bewildered. "What? No!"

His tone surprises me and it hurts.

Alex and Violet enter the room and I exit to my bedroom. Peeking through the crack of the bedroom door, Violet sits beside Dash. Alex looks up at me. It's safe away from them where I can't hurt or embarrass anyone.

***

Dash

"Dash, are you okay?" Violet asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She looks to Alex, who only shrugs.

Her presence slows my heart rate. But then she puts her arm around me and a similar sensation like Gabriel's only very subtle. The energy enters me soothing my nerves and yet still stimulating. I'm surprised by the sensation. There's nothing about this in Red's journal's.

She pulls away. She must remember she shouldn't touch. What a disappointment.

"What were you doing?" She composes herself.

I'm ashamed because both reasons are secrets. I've been reading the journals. The other reason is I'm fascinated by Gabriel.

"We were..."

You were trying to fix Gabriel. Alex's voice interrupts my thought.

"We were trying to fix Gabriel." I lower my head. I hate to lie to her. I wasn't trying to fix him. I was trying to help him control his ability. There's nothing to fix. Gabriel is already perfect.

"What makes you think you can 'fix' Gabriel?"

He wanted to be fixed.

"He wanted to be fixed." That's true.

"How did you think you would do that, Dash?"

I don't wait for Alex this time. I can't lie to her.

"I thought maybe, if he focused enough he'd be able to keep it inside of him." I was going to mention Red, but that would reveal my other secret.

Violet looks very sorry. "Dash you can't fix him. This is who he is."

She's right about that. If Red can do it Gabriel can. He can't be fixed but rather I provide him with encouragement so he can manipulate his energy. This is what I found in Red's Journals which I've read without her permission. She won't believe me anyway.

"Do you understand me, Dash? There's nothing you can do."

She's so wrong about that. She's just saying this because she's just like him. She thinks there's nothing you can do. It's not her fault Red hadn't taught her enough about her ability. She has the pull problem, too—maybe not as strong as Gabriel and Red. Red did nothing to help her, but in fact neglected to tell her on purpose. I'll prove it to her. Gabriel just needs practice.

"Dash?"

"Yeah, I get it."

"I think we should call it a night," Violet stands.

I hastily grab I backpack. "Goodnight." I briefly look up at Gabriel's green eyes peeking through his bedroom door. "Goodnight, Gabriel."

## Chapter Twenty-Six

Gabriel

My fingers run along the journal spine. It's smooth but wrinkles slightly every time I open it. The pages fan out revealing I have a few empty pages to fill. The spine rests flat on the writing desk, opening loyally to receive my pen.

A row of three identical ink pens are lined up at the corner of my desk top. A strange habit of keeping things in rows and stacks helps me feel I'm keeping from destroying the room's perfection. I must continue to do this until I can emulate the person Red think's I am—a clean, pristine soul that deserves to be comfortable in such beautiful surroundings. Until I can be like Red, I'll keep my practice of coordinating the items in the room to make up for my flaws.

I contemplate carefully what to write. But I'm distracted by the wood grain on the desk. My hand rubs down the surface. This used to be a tree but it wasn't cut down. This must have been waiting in the forest to be utilized. I smiles when I think of these stories. They seem true. I can't imagine Red being as awful as the ones destroying trees like they're a nuisance.

My desk. My room. I don't deserve this.

I can't believe this lovely space is a representation of me. Maybe Red doesn't know me at all. This can't be me.

But the journal—Red knows I need to writes everything down. It's one way I can express myself. Josh used to be an outlet, but with him, I couldn't tell him everything. There is no one to talk to about the terrible things I've done. Writing is a way to let it out without getting close to anyone. Red knows this or he wouldn't have left the journal for me to write in. Even having successes in holding my aura back, I can never really be close to anyone. Being close includes touching which is something I can never do.

Dash knows a little—but we can never be friends.

The incident in Red's room yesterday is replaying over and over like a bad song. I wrote about it, thinking about how successfully I held in my aura and how Dash helped. I find myself oddly thinking about Dash. Why did he really help me? Is it because he wants to help me tame my ability or is it something else? He wants to help me get closer to people without being afraid of setting them off, or setting myself off. Is Dash that generous? He cleared Red's room of the strong residual energy. How did he do that? We could've easily done it outside.

There's a knock at the door. I don't hesitate to open it, anticipating Violet's pretty face on the other side. My smile drops to the pit of my stomach and my excitement fizzles out. Speak of the devil.

"Can I come in?" Dash peeks up from the top of his glasses.

I hesitate. Dash helped me and I never thanked him for it. But he must be affected by me. Why else would he be at my bedroom door? If Dash steps through the threshold, there's a chance it won't be the last time. I can't let that happen in a perfect place like this. It will ruin everything.

I must have thought too long because Dash sighs disappointedly, and places his hands awkwardly in his pockets. Some of his untidy hair swings over his glasses when he bows his head.

"I don't think it's a good idea." My arm firms-up across the entry.

"I see." Dash's brows scrunches up.

He looks hurt. "I'm sorry but—"

"No. It's fine. I thought you'd help me practice my ability."

"Your ability to what?"

"Decipher. I can read the objects in your room match them to your personality. I thought you'd be a good subject."

"What about the rest of this cabin? Don't you need to study that for Red's sake?"

"I already have. Your room is the only place left." His Adam's apple drops and rises. Why is Dash nervous?

"Maybe I don't want you prying into my things. I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me. I'm sure you have tons of friends that you could do that with."

"I—I don't have any." Dash averts his eyes. I think that's strange considering he doesn't have a condition like me. He seems normal otherwise. "I thought maybe we could be friends." Dash's eyes beg like a stray cat.

Shit. I look away. "Maybe—"

"We can be friends!" Dash finishes. He ducks under my arm without hesitation even though my hands are still gripping the door. Heat briefly brushes my side. What Am I doing? I'm totally asking for it.

Dash is a hazard. Every friend I've had, I can't trust myself, but in this case I can't trust Dash. He makes me nervous because his eyes do more than look at things. I won't put it past him to examine the details of my room for personal purposes. The way he's been looking at me raises concern. Josh looked at me the same way. I can only hope that Dash being a hybrid won't ruin anything.

His olive eyes are more perplexing every time I see them. They move quickly, like he's reading a book; left to right; up and down, but it's just the empty wall. Violet explained what Dash's gifts are. He sees objects and can tell just about anything about the person. His visual memory is like a photo copier. He keeps to himself, which is more nerve racking. I never thought I'd be the subject of interest to a mind like Dash's. Hopeful Red's perception veils my dark secrets.

Dash leans close to the painting of the strange moving crow.

"Yeah, that thing's pretty creepy, right?" I leave the door open.

"Actually it's very... you." Dash lifts his glasses for a closer look.

"What does that mean? I'm creepy?" I joke. I don't doubt it.

"I wouldn't call it creepy." Dash moves on to my book shelves.

"What would you call it? Forget it. I don't want to know."

Dash's crooked smile curls a little more as he continues to my writing desk. His fingers skim the surface which gives me tingles down my back.

Dash looks down.

The journal is open.

I dart to the desk and shut the journal. "This is off limits!"

Dash walks away, wearing a smirk worth worrying about. I can't put it past Dash to see what I've written about him. He can scan things, but I'm not sure how quick.

He goes to the window. The green plants don't seem to surprise him and neither does the view. He briefly takes his glasses off and rests them on his head. He moves the plants without asking, opens the window wide and sits on the ledge. He places his glasses back on and stares at the room.

"This is an interesting view."

"I think the view behind you is more interesting." I fold his arms. He's so weird.

"No." He shakes his head. "This is the real view. Red put a lot of care in this room. He took everything about you in consideration.

What does Dash know about me to know that? My stomach twists a little.

"The window is the real entrance to your room." He hops down from the window and moves the plants back.

"The window?"

Dash walks across the room to the door. "This is your window." He points to my door. Come look."

I shrug and look out of my so called window that's actually a door. My eyes go straight to Red's open bedroom where Violet is sitting on his bed. At a distance she's framed by Red's door and the hall entrance. She's a beautiful moving picture.

"You like her." Dash says in my ear. The sound of his voice sends a shiver down my spine. The back of my neck warms. Dash is too close.

I rub the back of my head. Is it that obvious? "She's nice."

"That's why this is your window. And that..," Dash points to across the room. "...is really your entrance."

"Right and I have wings on my back." Like that makes sense. "So, are you done?"

Dash backs away from the door and shakes his head. "You're not getting rid of me that easily. I'm just getting started."

"Great." I give Violet a quick glance and then shut the door. It's weird if she hears Dash in my room. He might be right about the window thing. I like to watch before she turns out the light or closes the door. Sometimes when I look out of the window I imagine flying over the forest. How does he know this?

"This box." Dash points to the wooden box on my nightstand. I recognize from my dream but hadn't seen it before in my room until Dash pointed it out. "Did you open it?"

"You tell me?" I challenge.

"There's a lot going on in that thing." Dash puts his face really close to it.

I take the box and open it to show Dash it's empty inside.

"See? Nothing."

"No, it's there." Dash walks away.

I look again and shrug. There's nothing inside the box, although in my dream there was a glowing ball inside of it. When I touched it, I absorbed it. "What do you see?"

Dash doesn't answer. He's preoccupied by the bed. His fingers touch the sheets and to my surprise he sits on it. His forehead looks like the leather journal when its spine wrinkles.

"I'm sorry." His eyes flutter close.

"About what?"

Dash pulls his fingers off the bed and folds them between his knees. He takes his glasses off and rubs his face. I wonder what my bed has to do with being sorry.

"You can sleep in a bed again."

Air staggers out of my mouth. The embarrassment kicks me the chest. He can see that.

Dash eyes move up from my sneakers to my face. I never noticed how different Dash's eyes look without his glasses. His dark green eyes somehow make him look older. Something about them reminds me of Red. Something behind those eyes can see deep into me. It scares me.

"You're still worried about me, aren't you?" Dash says.

"What do you mean?" I'm really nervous all of a sudden. Like the air in my lungs was stolen.

"You're afraid of me."

"Afraid. I wouldn't call it that." I give him the same dose of vagueness. My fingers fiddle with the pen from the desk.

Dash smiles. "I'm not like your human friends."

"I don't have any friends." I don't need reminding of that.

"I am. We're Hybrids so—"

"So what." I don't mean to be so abrupt. Dash is starting to get on my nerves. He knows too much and it's too late to take it all back. It's too late. He's in my room sitting on my bed, checking out my shit; knowing all of my business. "Being Hybrid has nothing to do with it. Just because we have that in common doesn't mean anything."

"I thought—"

"You thought wrong. I can't be friends with anyone. It's impossible. You should know that from what you've already seen."

"I told you I'm not like other people."

I wish I can forget about my problem. It seems I can never escape a conversation about it. Every person I've become friends with end up hurt or they've hurt me. Dash isn't any different. The signs are there. His eyes continue to scan me. I'm sick of being the object of his attention.

"You expect me to believe that after Red's room." I unhitch from the desk. "Why are you really here, Dash?"

"I told you."

"Right." I take my journal and wrap the leather strap around it. "I'm not stupid." I toss it back on the desk. "And you're wrong if you think I'm going to let you ruin my life here with Violet. This is supposed to be a sanctuary. I'm supposed to feel safe, away from people like you."

"People like me?" Dash stands. "I'm sorry you feel that way. We're Hybrids. We can be friends. The rules are different—especially here. I don't see why we can't—"

"You're right about one thing, Dash. You're not like my human 'friends', you're worse." His ability allows him access to me in more than just the five senses. I insist all the signs are there. Dash is using his ability for pleasure because I've affected him.

"I don't understand what you mean?" He doesn't look me in the eye. His hair moves across his forehead when he looks down—he's hiding.

"Of course you do. You happen to use your ability at my expense. I can see how much you like getting off entering my space, teasing me, and putting yourself in my personal space on purpose. I'm just a challenge to you; a project. You think you can romance me. Is that what friends do?"

A sound escapes Dash's mouth, but he reforms a new sentence while straightening his shoulders. "So what?" He moves his hair away from his eyes.

I'm surprised at his confident tone. Is he confessing?

"I thought we both needed something real. I know you're lonely. So am I. I thought maybe I could show you how use your ability; how it's far from a burden and more like a gift. You have no idea how special you are."

I snicker. "You've got to be kidding me."

"No, Gabriel you're perfect. I could show you how amazing you really are." Dash takes a step toward me. "How perfect you are. I see it here." He motions to my room with his eyes glued to mine. "Red obviously thinks highly of you, I can see why."

Delusional. "How can you say that knowing how fucked up my life is?" I approach Dash carelessly. "I've let so many people take advantage. So many people hurt me and now you're telling me some bullshit about how perfect I am."

Dash's breathing is uneven and my aura slips, but my anger anchors me. I had enough. I will defend this new home of mine from people like Dash.

"Look at you. Admit it. You're affected by me and you love it. Even now you can't even be a real friend. So what is it Dash? Lust or envy? You either want me or my ability. Maybe you're greedy and you want it all. Go ahead Dash take it. You wouldn't be the first."

Dash snickers. His breathing slows and evens out. "My heart is pounding. I feel dizzy. You've let yourself out completely. But I'm still standing right here. What did you expect to happen?"

Oh my God... My aura is out, but he's somehow holding back. No one has ever been able to control themselves.

I step away. My anger is shrinking but the need to devour is growing within me. I started a domino effect.

"Who can't control themselves?" Dash verbal stab makes me hate him even more. He takes a step toward me. "Remember what I said. You can pull it back."

"I can't. Once it starts..." My voice shakes. I hate him. "I'll hurt you. Go. Get out!"

"You can't hurt me. And I'll never hurt you." He inches forward.

My fingers ball up. "Idiot, I can't hold it any longer. Just Go! Before I—"

Before the words come out, Dash presses his lips to mine.

My body is frozen as Dash kisses me. I hold the aura tighter than I've ever held it before. Dash slowly and gently moves his lips. The sensation teeters on the edge of heaven and hell. Only I have a choice I've never had before; use what Dash taught me or not. My aura is clawing to get out full force, but my nerves keep it aura at bay for Dash's sake. I can't believe it.

Dash pulls away too soon to fully feel out the experience. In response, my aura pushes out and I lean in for another kiss. I'm not about to lose the heavenly emotion of my first real kiss.

My first is not what I expected—it's better. I can't tell if it's Dash's first kiss from how cautious his lips move. Maybe it's because he's a guy. My aura is making him breathe heavier. Our warm bodies replace the dead wasted space between us. I can hear him trying to hold back and not fully come apart. Because of this, Dash isn't like the others. For the first time someone is thinking about how I feel. He isn't thinking of one thing. He is taking the real me in consideration.

I'm startled when Dash takes one of my hands. He squeezes to let me know he's trying not to come undone. We break away and our hands unlock.

Dash backs away, raking his hair back. "Holy shit. Holy fuck! Oh my Hod!"

"Why did you do that?" I touch my lips.

"I-I wanted to." His breath hitches.

I'm not sure what happened. I like the way a real kiss feels and it's something I've never felt before. Kissing is usually a way to eat the person before I devour them with the other parts of my body. Dash has left a different feeling; not a need, but a desire for more. I wouldn't mind doing it again. I don't know if it will happen again and I'm not sure if it's okay. I'm in love with Violet and it seems that Dash is just a distraction. I don't want to give him the wrong idea.

Dash is watching me closely again.

"You don't have to label anything. I'm not one for labels." Adjusting his glasses back on, he's the old Dash again. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth as he runs his fingers through his brown hair.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He leaves with a mischievous smile.

All I can do is nod. My body doesn't want him to leave, and my mind is foggy but my heart is finally loud enough to say no.

## Chapter Twenty-Seven

Violet

I sit by the lake admiring the evening sun's reflection off the water. My emotions well up in my throat. I'm not sure if this place would disappear if Red dies. A cool breeze brushes my face erasing such a frightening thought. Red is still very much alive.

This place is him. Everything you see is a part of him, Grey's words remind me. I'm hypnotized by the sound of summer buzz in the tall blades of grass as they sway in the breeze. The scent of flowers is carried out taking my attention with it across the rippling lake.

A few peaceful moments pass before I feel a presence sit beside me. I turn to find the most incredible green eyes I've ever seen stare back. The eyes blink and rest of his face comes to view; inky black hair, fair blemish-free skin and young face with a smug expression I don't recognize.

I move away from the pretty boy. "Gabriel? This is dangerous. How could you be so reckless." But there is no pull. There is no energy moving between us. I place my arm out and feel nothing.

His smug smile widens.

"How?" I cautiously inch toward him.

"Dash, fixed me."

A tingling sensation moves down my spine slowly like spiders crawling on my skin.

"He was right. He taught me to transfer my energy to something else. I can hold it here." He taps his chest.

With every word spoken the more the sensation spreads down my neck to my limbs. Similar to the pull, my ears want him to keep talking. His voice is tricky like Red's.

I'm stunned. This can't be true, could it? I shift toward him; still keeping in mind my own aura. Nothing but the breeze is felt between us. I settle beside him. It's strange because I have never been this close to him. He looks so different up close. His limbs look longer, he's sits taller and he looks older with that confident smile. His presence is real than the seemly absent one before; he's a boy who was always too far away. The details of his face still resemble Red; too terribly cute for his own good. I can't help but smile.

"How did Dash—"

"Hey, did I hear my name?" Dash joins us in the grass and sits on my other side.

"How did you guys do this?"

Gabriel's eyes dart away.

"Promise you won't get mad?" Dash pushes up his glasses.

"Why would I get mad?"

"I read some of Red's journals. I ...took a few home with me. That's how I found that Gabriel's problem can be helped. Red told me in my dream I could read them. Please don't be mad." Dash looks to Gabriel who exhales deeply.

"He wanted you to read them?"

"Yeah, I think he knew I would do this."

I don't know what to say. Red wanted him to read the journals. What else did Red want them to do? Why didn't Red tell me? Why didn't Dash tell me?

"Violet? I'm sorry. I should have told you." Dash twists his body so he's facing me. "It's just that you didn't trust me, so I took them. I had to—"

"It's not that." I bring my legs to my chest.

"Then what's wrong?" Gabriel looks to Dash who removes his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Shit." Dash mumbles.

"Am I missing something here?" Gabriel asks.

I shut my eyes. Dash knows about me. He must know everything about me. How embarrassing.

"Violet." Dash puts on his glasses and leans into me like he's going to reveal a secret. "We could teach you."

I feel sick. Whatever he read was because Red had written it. Why do I feel left out of Red's plan? Dash knows more about me than I do.

"You know about her?" Gabriel's tone confirms he knows about me, but the knowledge wasn't shared.

"Oh, my God." I teeter in the spot I'm sitting. My eyes are on the brink of tears.

"Violet, it's nothing to be embarrassed about." Dash's voice is close to my ear. He must know about my aura. He must know more than me. "Matter of fact it explains a lot about you and Grey. You and Red."

I shoot up and head toward the cabin as quickly as I can. Why do they know my business? Gabriel knows more about how to handle the ability than I do. Dash was able to teach him from Red's journal. How come Red hadn't bothered to teach me?

***

Gabriel

"Shit." Dash covers his forehead.

"You know about her?" I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. He must know everything.

"How do you know about her?" Dash glares at me.

"I just know. Why didn't you tell me?" I can feel myself letting go, like a leaky balloon. My emotions trip and the front of my body start to heat up. Dash is pissing me off.

"Violet happens to share the same ability as you, only Red hadn't bothered to show her how to manipulate her energy. She was left thinking she had to live with her ability as is. For Red, he left her untrained so that her ability would draw Grey and her closer together."

"What else do you know about her?"

"Almost everything." Dash rubs his thighs nervously. "Gabriel, your aura..."

"Too bad. Spill it." I snarl. I'm testing his will power. As much as his body should obey the gravity, Dash doesn't move.

"Alex and I have been having our own readings."

I can't look at him. I might punch his lights out. "When were you going to let me in on that?"

"It would have been hard considering you live here now. Violet wouldn't have let me read the journals. You saw her the first day; how nervous she was when you asked about them."

Dash and Alex have been secretly reading Red's journals. Every detail about Violet and Red's life—their history; information about them would shed some light on my own life, on my own powers.

"The information could've helped me, Dash."

"I know and it did."

I gain control over my aura. Dash's shoulders relax.

"Every time you do that I don't know if I'm relieved or sad."

I ignore his comment. "She's embarrassed, you know. She'll probably never come near me."

"I have no idea how I'm going to fix this." Dash throws a stick in the lake.

"Easy. Find Red. And she won't have to deal with any of us ever again, right?"

Dash massages his forehead. "Right."

## Chapter Twenty-Eight

Gabriel

"Let's go out tonight. It's Friday and Gabriel's trained." Alex kicks back on the sofa.

"I heard that." I come down the staircase and give him the finger while Violet settles next to him. I hate that she always chooses the seat next to him. Alex grins and leans a little closer just to annoy me.

"What did you guys have in mind?"

To my contentment, she moves over a few inches. I collapse on the loveseat. She looks worried. I want Alex to forget about it. I don't think I go out anyway.

Shut up! His voice startles me. She needs to leave this place. You guys aren't hermits you know. Dash said you're good.

I liked it better when you didn't talk to me. I scowl.

"Gabriel, are you okay?" Her voice is so sweet. I want to sit beside her, but I'm not feeling so confident at the moment. The idea of leaving the Sanctuary makes my stomach hurt.

"He's fine. Concert. Ever been?" Alex scoots closer to Violet's side.

What are you doing? You aren't her lap dog.

Since when did you get so brave, asshole? Alex places his hand on the sofa back behind Violet.

I'd have to ask the same about you. I grind my teeth.

"I wouldn't remember." Violet folds her hands in her lap.

"Sorry Violet. Alex must have forgotten about your amnesia." Dash sits beside me. The heat to my left side alerts me he's too close. I shift over a few inches, but his hand slides closer to me.

"You'll love it," Alex turns his entirely body to face her. He looks ready to take her hand. If he touches her, what will happen? Will she react like I do when I'm touched? Alex would love that. I will his hand not to touch her.

"Let's face it; you need to get out for a while." Alex's smirk is meant for me.

Violet's hands nervously find their home under her legs. She's not sure. He should leave it alone.

Going out is really bothering her. Alex commentates. She's worried about something bad happening—monsters or something. She's been sheltered in this place way too long. "We'll all be together and it's for a little while."

"I think I've hear that before." She smiles. "What about Gabriel?" Her gaze lands on me. "Will you be comfortable?" Her big brown eyes make me want to throw myself in her lap.

"Ah—"

Dash's hand pats my thigh. "He'll be fine. See?"

It isn't entirely true; I won't be comfortable in a crowd of people.

"Gabriel, I'm not going unless you're comfortable." She confesses.

Alex rolls his eyes. Say yes, idiot. She wants to go. Alex glares at me.

"I'll be fine." I take Dash's hand and toss it aside. "See?"

***

Gabriel

I'm not confident enough to walk beside Violet, but I'm more worried that I'll collide with strangers while Alex smothers her. The heat that announces Dash's closeness is becoming an everyday occurrence. It's the only clash I accept because Dash doesn't listen and my body is getting used to him at my side. I never thought it was possible, but it's probably because Dash is a hybrid.

"You're okay." Dash says under his breathe.

"This isn't a good idea. There are too many people."

"You could've said no for your sake, but you said yes for hers. Have faith in yourself. Remember who you're doing this for." Dash motions to Violet.

I stare at the back of her head which seems to be moving about like a child visiting an amusement park. Alex is walking next to her with a huge grin on his face. I hate that he be in her head. The corner of his eye checks me.

"The city looks like a bright and colorful carnival at night. I always thought so with all the lit signs and glowing store fronts. It reminds me of..." Violet stops walking. Her eyes look beyond the street corner to where a large fountain is centered in a small park.

"Vi, are you okay?" Alex's lowers his mouth too closely to her ear, it makes my chest hurt.

"Yeah," she gives him a fake smile, but Alex's frown doesn't budge. I wait to hear Alex reveal what's wrong, but the bastard says nothing.

"Can we stop there for a moment?" She points to the fountain.

"Of course." Dash leaves my side for Violet's and now I see the back of all three heads.

We make their way to the fountain. Dash digs into his pocket for a coin to throw in. Alex follows Violet like a puppy as she walks around the massive concrete structure. I stand on the ledge looking into the water.

"Here, make a wish?" Dash holds out a penny.

I hold out my hand and Dash smirks as he drops it into my palm. He knows. It's like a thing with us now.

"You have any idea what she's thinking?" I ask.

Dash can see things just as Alex can hear them. They're also ahead of the game since they read Red's journals.

"Yeah." The fountain lights put a glare on his glasses so I can't see his eyes. "She's been here with Red and Grey. It was the first time she'd been out of the Sanctuary."

"So this place is," I rub the penny, "... is special?"

Dash nods. I want something like that with her. Something special for her to think of me with but how could I compare?

"Don't worry. You'll get your chance."

"How do you know?" I jump down from the ledge and Dash's eyes are visible.

"You haven't made your wish yet." He discards a penny into the fountain like it meant nothing to him. I look at my shiny penny. I'm supposed to make a wish.

Dash joins Alex and Violet while I throw my coin in and wish for the only thing I've been thinking about since meeting Violet.

***

Gabriel

We stand in line waiting to get into the theatre. The stickers and fliers plastered to the billboards beside us advertise the music Josh often raved about. The smell of cigarettes triggers memories I want to forget. The world outside of the Sanctuary hasn't changed, but I have. I fear it. I haven't kept up my survival routine so my awareness is not as sharp.

"Vi, we're celebrating remember?" Alex is still trying to comfort her. After seeing the fountain, her smiling face hasn't reappeared.

She hugs herself. "It's hard to celebrate when we should be hard at work trying to find him."

"A little fun can't hurt. Plus, being cooped up in the Sanctuary wouldn't do any good to Red or you for that matter."

"Yeah but going to a concert would?" Violet folds her arms. "Not sure I get the logic in that, Alex."

"It's what I know. Clears my head." Alex says. "Sometimes you need a break."

Dash snickers. "With the music blasting in your ears how could you think?"

"Are sure he even thinks at all?" I laugh. The comment brings a slight smile to Violet's face. I did that.

"You'd do the same if all you heard were voices. The music drowns it out. It centers me." Alex stands with his shoulders back.

"Well, it was proven that music does calm the insane," Dash smirks. "Especially people who hear voices in their head."

Violet tries to hide her chuckle behind her fingers. Alex's mouth twitches. Seems he isn't used to being the butt end of a joke.

If it makes Violet feel better I can take it. "Assholes." Alex shoves his hands in his pockets.

Now, if your hands can just stay there... I cock my head up.

My hand will do as they please. At least I can touch her.

You can't touch her.

Well I have.

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

"Hey! Is there something I should know?" Violet folds her arms standing between us. LI've seen this before. Please, no secret conversations. Whatever it is, spill it."

I avert my eyes. The line starts to move. I hate to hear Violet sigh. The sound of a zipper brings me back to her. She's opens her purse taking out a wallet, flipping through wads of cash. "We can eat inside, can't we? I have enough for everyone."

"I'll pay Violet," Alex says.

"That wallet. It's not Red's but his signatures all over it. May I see it?" Dash nearly knocks me over as he approaches Violet.

"No Dash. It's not exactly mine." None of us can ignore the sudden cloud of sadness that made it back over her face. She doesn't want to give up the wallet but not because of the endless cash inside of it, but because it's Grey's. Dash quickly places his hands in his pocket and looks at Alex who nods.

I hate the secrecy between the two. I'm the only one left out of the soundless conversations.

"Here, take this for food and drinks, not alcohol. Got it?"

"I told you, Vi, I'll pay for it."

"You kinda need ID for that anyway," Dash reminds her.

"Maybe you could get some for us?" Alex unveils his charming smile and hooded eyes.

I roll mine.

"I'm not old enough either." Violet doesn't fall for his charms and looks straight into his eyes. "I wouldn't if I was. Come on. Alcohol makes you do stupid things." Alex and Dash look at each other again.

Fuck, what does that mean?

Dash, as if to some ability knew what I was thinking, says in my ear, "She was drunk when she kissed Red."

"What?" I say it too loud. It feels like someone punched my gut just thinking of her kissing Red.

"I'll tell you about it later." Dash says under his breath. No I want to know now. Violet looks a little paranoid. Dash leans and tells me. "I noticed her looking around a little too often. She's afraid this was a mistake. She's afraid of the entity."

Entity? "What does that mean?"

"I'll tell you later."

Why does everyone know shit except me?

She's anxious, fiddling with her jacket and looking around impatiently. Kissing Red, entities, old memories; I don't know anything about her. If she's so scared and this is uncomfortable for her, I wouldn't have said yes to going out.

"Vi, chill. You're freaking out for no reason," Alex says.

"I have every reason to freak out, Alex." Her eyes scan around them but I don't know what she's looking for anyway. The line starts to move again when Alex invades her space. I clench the inside of his pocket.

"You'll feel better inside I promise." Alex says while lightly stroking her arm.

"Alex!" She says squirming away from him. "Don't."

But Alex just stares at the back of her pretty head. He smiles when she's not looking. I bet he doesn't regret touching her lovely skin even for a second.

You're an asshole. You can't touch her.

No harm done, although, my body is on fire after that hot touch.

I want to punch the satisfaction off his face.

Dash gives Alex a look which removes his grin I'm grateful for that but I still out of the loop as to what he could have thought to make Alex's grin disappear.

***

Violet

Inside the rock music is booming loud enough that it reverberate through my stomach. Alex is right. The music is just what I need. The constant stream of music triggers memories of Grey. Somehow I smile. We made memories of listening to music for hours in his room. It's something we shared, a love for music. Alex loves music just as much as Grey. He's been telling me all along how therapeutic it can be. I'm so glad I said yes to come out.

I make my way through the crowd. My energy responds to the sound as my heart pulses with the bass. The excitement fills me as I dance among the people. I'll give energy rubbing shoulders and bumping into bodies, but it doesn't matter—everyone here is feeding off one another anyway. Moving my body with the ocean of people, I don't feel like a hybrid; I'm no different than anyone else. My mind is at peace and carefree. My thoughts fall away as I meet Alex who gives me nod and an even wider smile that read 'I told you so'.

***

Gabriel

"You want a beer?" Dash shouts over the music.

Alex peels his eyes away from Violet in the crowd to Dash flashing Grey's wallet.

"Did you steal that? How did you—?"

Dash pushes up his glasses and grins. He proceeds to whip out three valid I.D. cards.

"How?" I'm astonished. Everything is correct: the address to the abandon building; my picture and my birthday with the year altered. I'm apparently twenty-one. How does he know my birthday? I'm impressed. I look to Dash whose cheeks flare up.

"I made them. I read in journals that I am an architect type like Red," Dash smiles.

"There's types? What does that mean?" I look to Alex.

"It means he just became my best friend," Alex says, taking his new ID and wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

"Drinks are on me," Dash smiles.

"I've never had a beer before."

Dash and Alex chuckle, but I don't think it's funny. There's a reason I don't drink. I hand back the card.

"Just have one." Dash pushes it back.

"One is like water," Alex examines his card. "Have two. Live a little. It won't get you drunk."

We head to the bar in the back of the theatre. Hand our IDs and drink our beers. As I drink my beer I notice it's always full. Dash looks at me with those eyes again. It must be his ability that made it possible that our beers, no matter how much we drink, our bottle are always filled. I try to measure but I loose count and I have a good handle on myself. I'm proud. Alex starts placing his arm around Dash telling him he's the best. Dash wobbles and I'm slightly lightheaded but my aura is in check.

The band plays a million and one songs and each one is my favorite. Clanging our beers and constantly spilling them, we laugh and enjoy what music has offered us—a good time with new friends and time with a happy Violet.

Moved by the flood of sounds, we surrender to the music and after too many beers we lose each other.

I can easily enjoy the band where I stand. There's no one to worry about because just about everyone is in the crowd, but me. My ability to hold my aura in is not the problem, but having people bump into me constantly is. I wander away from the perimeters and decide to join the party. I think I can take it. I think people are too into the band to find me anyway if I touch them.

I enter the crowd like a warm bath. It feels incredible. No one is paying any mind to me, but they feel me. They don't know I'm the source of the sudden pleasure. Jumping and moving with everyone, I feel normal; I'm anybody but Gabriel Black.

Before long, I spot Violet enjoying herself. Into the tight rhythmic crowd of people, I watch her. Her closed eyes are just as beautiful as when they're open. Her shiny wavy hair captures the flashing lights like fireworks over water. Everyone around me is in their own trance, pushing into each other, rubbing against each other, sweating all over each other like one big organism swaying. The crowd takes her away like a message in a bottle, floating in the ocean of people. I surrender my body as the crowd around me compresses and take me too. Hands are raised in the air but I'm still, I'm wedged between singing voices and jumping rebellious bodies.

I squeeze my way, my personal space rule is already broken and now my aura flexes like wings. Buzzed and centered only on her, I push recklessly towards her, setting off auras around me. I ignore them. I want only her. My Violet.

I shift my sight to see her aura; a radiant blue flame surrounds her. Even among the rainbow of color blooming in my sights, she stands out with a red surface that looks as if it's on fire around her sapphire aura. The crowd nearly takes me off my feet as they advance me to her. I suspect if my body is just inches from hers, our auras will touch. I want to touch. Curiosity and longing propels me forward through the orgy of people.

I make it to Violet, but she's unaware I'm just feet away. I'm entranced as our Hybrid auras touch just for a second. I step back feeling a rush of ecstasy spread throughout my body instantly.

Her eyes shoot open and turn to look among the faces. She doesn't see me, lurking behind others. She has an uneasy expression on her face, so I patiently wait for the music to take her away again. I can be patient as the auric touch still lingers in my body to savor. The overwhelming sensation of arousal is so addictive, hunting her makes me feel impossibly lustful. It feels right. It feels natural. I move so my approach will be from behind. I wait for another gap of people so I can swoop in to her aura entirely. It doesn't take long and I enter her personal space.

***

Violet

An overwhelming force merges with my being; forcing its way into me, wanting to possess me; the feeling that could only be Red, but Red isn't here. My thoughts slip away and I'm lost in a haze making me limp. The music rhythmic sound matches my heartbeat and prolongs the high as I let the surroundings drown me.

The crowd compresses and moves again. Grabbing my waist, the distinct body pushes into me. I place my hand on his. The touch is so magnetic. The vibration between us intensifies, striking my womb like an instrumental chord. I try to think, but it's impossible to; all I can do is let him take over.

***

Gabriel

My heart is pounding out of my chest. My heavy breathing only elevates as I bask in her aura. The instinctual lure that's gotten me into trouble so many times before is making an emergence once again. Only now, I want this. I want this more than I wanted anything in my life. She is what I crave; what my body needs. But I need more than my body flush against hers; I want to consume her; take her for everything she possesses. It might hurt, just for a second, but she'll surrender. They always do.

Violet leans back resting her head under my chin. I lower my nose to her neck and breathe her in. Her scent is strong but I want to own the part of her that will be the main source of my appetite. Her essence will be stronger there. I drag my hands to the front of her waist, reaching under her top and down her jeans. Touching her skin will give me an orgasm if I think about it too much.

The crowd compresses and moves again, pushing me hard into her from behind. I groan. Her hips move as the song changes. My heart continues to pound in my chest as her every movement teases me below. My face presses into her neck. The need to devour her is great. My mouth opens and my teeth graze her skin and I bite. Her body shutters in my grasp.

Her body relaxes as my hands travel further down. The crowd sways, grinding us together. My fingers dig into her skin. Violet's hazy eyes flutter as I press suggestively into her, hardening as I nibble her. My hand reaches down, down to the thin fabric the separates my lust from her innocence.

The crowd shifts violently. We separate.

Violet opens her eyes. She's alert. I try to make my way to her, but she sees me and pushes her way through in the opposite direction, melting into the crowd.

Still in predatory mode, I sense she's near, lurking between the bodies. I'm so close to having her. I will not let her go so easily. Finding her in a disoriented state, I creep closer for my advantage. Our auras clash and I forcefully pull her to face me. Her weak will allows it. I grab hold of her waist and bring her in. "I love you." I lean in to kiss her. The crowd disconnects us and Violet runs away.

***

Violet

I push desperately through people to the exit, but find a wall. I press my back to it, watching for Gabriel. I crouch down so he doesn't see me.

How could I let this happen? He's only sixteen, how could he be this strong? Feelings arise within me, dangerous ones. He feels like Red. Warm and hot; soothing and arousing. I can't believe I let him touch me. My mind is stuck on it. He said he loves me. He has a crush on me. I'm so stupid! I have to let him know I'm not interested. I hesitate on the thought and scold myself. He's just confused. I smelled alcohol. Maybe it was an accident.

I sit flush against the brick wall through two songs before heading to the back of the theatre. I can't be alone with him anymore, it will be dangerous.

I spot Alex, who's so into the music, he doesn't even notice me holding his arm tightly. I bury my face in his side. I don't care if my aura affects him. It couldn't possibly do what Gabriel did to me. The violation triggers tears.

"I'm sorry Alex."

"Violet?" He says over the music, placing his arms around me and leads to the exit doors where the music won't cover my thoughts. I don't look up from the ground; I don't know if I can look at Gabriel right now. Dash's sneakers appear into my view.

"Get that asshole for me, we're leaving." Alex rubs my back. It feels nice. It's not right but he feels safe and he can read me without me saying a word. He's quiet and his presence in my head is reassuring. I let him pick my brain. His arms tighten around me, a comforting feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I'm almost ashamed I like it. He's protective and right now that's what I want.

It's time to go home and it's my fault that I agreed it would be safe to come out and have a good time. I should have known. I should have known. I'm sorry, Red, I'm so stupid.

Alex's is so soothing; it actually quiets my mind some. Dash exits the club with Gabriel. My eyes accidentally connect with his. His eyes are red. He's crying. He knows what he did was wrong.

Alex arms hold me tighter. My eyes dart back to my feet. We stand here quietly, but I know the dirty looks Gabriel is receiving.

We walk home. Alex's voice in my head soothes with things like we're almost home and I got you, don't worry. _I got you._ I'm grateful he can do that and embarrassed at the same time. Maybe I should let him go. Every time I think it his arm squeezes.

Before I knew it I'm lying on the sofa with Alex sitting beside me.

"Vi?" Alex says softly, stroking my hair behind her ear.

I look around for Dash and Gabriel.

"Dash went home and Gabriel's outside."

The outside is pitch-black, it must be late.

"It's 2:00 AM."

"Past midnight?"

"Vi, don't worry." He places his hand on mine. "It's not even a school night, remember?"

"But your parents. You'll get in trouble." I slide my hand away from his and realize I'm practically in his lap. I shift away from him.

"They're not even in town. They never are." He shifts closer to me. "Besides I can't leave you here alone after what happened."

Why did Gabriel do that? Why did he purposely seek me out?

"He likes you, Vi. Once Dash helped him with his aura thing, it seems he got it in his head he can do whatever he feels like. But still he's dangerous. He's done some fucked up shit. I'm not leaving you alone with him tonight."

"No, it's okay. I'm sure the alcohol I smelled had something to do with it."

"Sorry about the beer. That's kind of our fault. But seriously Vi, he's fucked up. I've seen what he's done. It's like Dash opened Pandora's Box. I'm not leaving you here alone."

I agree I don't want to be alone tonight. But there's no way I'm sleeping on the sofa.

"You drank too?"

"Yeah." Alex purses his mouth.

"Goodnight Alex." I get up and go to Red's room, safely locking the door from the hormonally drunk teenagers running amuck in the Sanctuary.

## Chapter Twenty-Nine

Gabriel

My reflection comes together in the calming lake. I can make out the details of my eyes, nose and mouth on the surface.

"I hate you."

Another pebble is dropped in, distorting my likeness again into a blur. I run my hands through my hair. My face—where do I begin and end. This is the face Violet saw coming after her. There is no difference between me and demon inside me. We wear the same face. It's destroys everything I love and it's continues to kill the new things I've come to enjoy. Slowly it will eat me from the inside out.

'You can be many ways.' The words Red had said still make no sense. What does that mean? Maybe I'll be burdened with this forever—a double life—many ways. I can't be a normal person. There's isn't definition to my life. The many ways Red's referred to are starting to blend into each other. I can't be just Gabriel; I'll be the monster too.

Last night was a nightmare. What I did to Violet is shameful. I expect to be kicked out as soon as she wakes. She wouldn't want someone like me living with her. I'll end up hurting her.

But...I want to. So badly, I want to.

I sit back and wince from brightly lit ball in the sky. The unforgiving sun bears down on me. The blackness in my peripheral catches my eye like ghostly presence. Violet doesn't know enough about the Black forest. Maybe I'll find out myself. She said it was off limits because you could get lost and there is no way of anyone finding you after you enter. I can use a little getting lost. The darkness is probably where I should be; far away from Violet. She has no need for me. I proved that at the concert. Sex craved monsters don't have a purpose. In the real world, I have no purpose and here in, the Sanctuary, I have no purpose.

The blackness calls to me. It's only natural for a dark soul to live in a dark place. Whatever the forbidden area holds must be meant for me. I'm a bad person. The lustful burden, the hungry part of me won't sleep. To bury myself in the darkness is what I need; like lying in a coffin to die. This is where I can't hurt anyone—especially Violet.

I approach hearing strange things teasing my ears. Living things scurry and dead things scratch. The forest speaks.

In the first step, I'm swallowed whole by the blackness. I can't see my hands in front of me. I turn around and the light is gone; all around me there's nothingness. I hear trees creaking and echoes of ghostly whispers. I walk forward with hands in front of me feeling between trees, hearing the crunch of dead leaves beneath my sneakers.

My eyes adjust until I'm able to see the outline of leafless trees. In between them, their trunks start to glow. The trees are alive, not dead. Small creatures that move about leave a residual light trails. My peripheral view is littered with phantom mists; dark spots the appear and reappear. Walking deeper, I become comfortable in the strange demimonde. This is my new lair.

I hear my name. I follow the soft cry. A figure with a blue flame around them passes between two trees with her hands out in front of her.

"Violet."

"Gabriel?" Sapphire flame comes towards me.

She came in here for me?

"Gabriel!" She's frightened when she calls my name, but I don't respond. I'm in awe of her lovely aura, the colors change from blue to lavender. The surface shimmers in a reddish hue. "Gabriel, I've been calling you. What are you doing in here?"

I realize I have no idea. Seeing her makes me forget why I came into the forest at all. She stands the usual safe distance away from me even though it isn't necessary anymore, but after what I did at the concert I don't blame her.

"Follow me okay?"

I nod, but I'm sure she can't see.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Gabriel. I understand, just please never come in here again."

"Why?"

"This place is terrible." She's trembling and her aura looks dense like she's trying to protect herself from the darkness. I realize I'm part of the darkness she's so scared of.

"I like it." The words come out. It's true. There's something about this place that makes me feel comfortable. I feel like myself.

"There's nothing in here."

"There's us." Us—I'm alone in the dark with her. I smile. Somewhere deep inside me vibrates. The monster is clawing to come out. I'm hungry again. I walk into Violet's personal space. My heart races and the desire that makes my body move toward her, transforms into appetite. I hear her whimper as my aura forcibly tries to merge with hers again. My hands search the flame and find Violet's arm. I pull her weak body toward me. She's breathing heavy and so am I. I find her hips, and with a firm grasp, I command her closer. I can feel a rope around her waist.

"What is this?"

"So we can make it back out." Her voice is so small, like a helpless animal. "G-Gabriel... please let go."

I ignore her. She's stiff in my arms, her hand presses against my chest, but she isn't really trying to push me away. Her will is weak. I smell her scent. It makes my mouth water. My hand caresses her cheek and my finger glides across finding her quivering lower lip. I tease myself with how soft and wet they are.

I bring her chin up to meet mine. I open my mouth and very slowly saver her. Her trembling lips are delicious. One kiss. I pull away. My craving for her overwhelms me. I kiss her again, more vigorously.

Her unresponsive lips whimper once more before they open slightly. "No."

I respond quickly to her, walking her backwards, pressing her against a tree in the darkness. My tongue naturally pries her mouth open.

"No!" Violet pushes me away. "Gabriel, No!"

I'm quiet and the forest is very still.

I kissed her. I touch my lips.

She grabs my arm aggressively and starts walking. I snatch her hand to hold it, she lets me. Her will is on the brink of breaking again, I can feel it in her sweaty hand.

She had to have liked it. She must want more.

The light stabs my eyes. Violet shoves my hand away. When my eyes adjust, she throws down the rope tied to her waist and the other end to a tree. She doesn't say a word and hastily makes her way to the cabin. Dash is standing beside the tied tree. His mouth is a straight tight line and his eyes glare at me above his glasses.

"She has a boyfriend," Dash says firmly.

I don't care. I'll do it again... and again... and again. "No labels," I smirk.

Dash's hands ball up into tight fists. My smile disappears. Something in Dash's eyes tells me to run before he decides to use them. I don't waste any time and rush pass him. My blood is hot and I need to finalize my contact with Violet. Her body must be longing for me just as mine is for hers. My soul is full and my body is exhilarated. I'm running on high.

She's locked herself in Red's room. I knock. "What do you want?" She sounds just as vulnerable as the others I've had.

"It's me." I see her shadow under the door, pacing. She takes a while to decide. I'm patient in hunting mode. They always come to me. I lean into the door ready to place my foot there in case she changes her mind. I know what she really wants. We're both made for it. Our auras joined, feeling her body react to me—that can only be desire. She wants me too. This is how it works. This is how it always works. It will take another interaction for her fall into my arms.

Violet finally opens the door and just as I suspect she changes her mind. I quickly shove my foot in the door. Our eyes meet. It feels like it's for the first time. I hold her gaze as long as possible. We are the same. She will want the same thing there's no denying it.

"You're different." Her eyes dilate.

"What do mean?" I entice her.

"Your eyes. Your confidence... it wasn't there before. What happened to the frightened, worried boy I know?"

I glance at her trembling bottom lip. "He's... inside me." My mouth waters thinking about another kiss.

She pushes the door but my foot wedges in pretty good. "Violet please," I beg. "You can help me finish this."

"I can't do that." She attempts to avert her eyes from me, but manages to bite her lip causing her eyes to well up. "You don't know what you're saying."

"Yes, I do. You can open this door." My words can be convincing if I let my ability come through my voice. I've used this talent before. "You wouldn't have opened the door at all if you didn't want something. You don't have to fight this. I know what you want. I can smell it."

Violet eases the force on the door.

"Gabriel!" Get away from her! Alex's growl painfully applies pressure to my temples. It rips its way to the top of my skull. I give Violet one last look before removing my foot from the door and collapsing to the floor.

***

Alex

Holy shit! What did I just do? Gabriel's still body is at my feet. His mind is dead quiet.

"What did you do, Alex?" Violet kneels in the door way.

"I-I don't know. It just happened. I got angry."

"Is he—?"

There's activity. There's presence. He's still alive. "He's fine. I think I knocked him out. I've never done that before." I step over Gabriel to approach Violet. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

I kneel beside her. There's something stronger about being near her. She makes my heart race. Rummaging through her thoughts as she crawls closer to Gabriel, my chest tightens. Violet's hand reaches for him. I snatch it. "He kissed you!"

She wipes her tears away and brushes her lips as if it shows on her face. "It was an accident. I set him off in the Black forest."

"It wasn't an accident. He pursued you, Vi."

"No. It's not his fault."

"Why are you defending him?" I tighten my hand around hers. "He's a terrible person who doesn't care who he hurts."

"He's not a terrible person! It was an accident. He's trying to understand his ability. And I wouldn't talk if I were you. You're still learning yours."

"Your right. I'm sorry, but he's not." I lean toward her with my hand still wrapped around hers. "I see what's in his head. He's not as innocent as you think. The kid was molested and it fucked him up."

"What?" She looks back at Gabriel. I tug her closer, my hand locks around hers.

"Don't. Don't feel bad for him. He thinks he can relieve himself like a cat in heat. What he did to you is wrong, Vi. I'm worried about leaving you with him. He's not right."

I don't like seeing her cry but she's so hot even when she's upset. I move a stray hair on her cheek. "I worry about you." My finger grazes her skin and my breath catches. Her aura is intense. The sensations running up my fingers must be what Gabriel had started. She's so magnetic my fingers never want to leave her skin. My breathe catches again when she closes her eyes. My hand gently caresses her cheek. She looks so relieved. Her body sways slightly. I let go of her hand and slide it up her arm. I lean in to kiss her. My breath enters her parting mouth and she turns away.

"Alex, don't." She backs away.

"Don't what." I feel lightheaded.

"You know what."

"That's not fair. It's okay for him to do it?"

"Of course not. What's this have to do about being fair?"

"Well, from your memory you didn't seem to mind _him_ —"

"I think you should go." Violet stands, folding her arms.

"Fine." I stand and step over Gabriel.

"We can't leave him here." Violet says.

"Why not? We can't touch him. He'll wake up and go to his room. I'm not touching him." Who cares about what happens to him.

"We can't leave him."

"I'll move him." Dash appears behind me. "I don't mind. I'll put him on the sofa."

"Are you sure?" Violet asks.

Dash brushes pass me, hitting my arm. He watched the whole thing, absorbing it all like an addiction to the pain. Dash likes her too and to be the only one that hasn't connected with her in some way pisses him off. He does it a lot; letting people do things while he lets himself get angry and bottles it up. He holds it inside like he's collecting all the shitty things people do. I would hate to see the kid explode. He drags Gabriel to the sofa just as he said without a reaction to his aura. It's not like he doesn't feel him—he does, but unlike Violet, there's pleasure in the self-denial.

"How does he do that?"

I ignore her and block her view of a masochistic Dash pulling Gabriel up on the sofa. "I'm not leaving you in this cabin with him." I touch her chin.

"Yes, you are." She bats my hand away. "I think it's time for you two to head out."

"But it's early." I take her hand. "I thought we could—"

Violet pulls away. "Please leave." She goes into Red's room and locks the door.

"What did I do wrong? I only want to protect you. Vi! Vi?" I shout at the door. It's a lie. I don't want to protect her as much as I want to keep her away from everyone else.

## Chapter Thirty

Alex

"Violet?" I throw my backpack down on the sofa. The cabin is silent. Gabriel's mind is usually preoccupied in his room. Her precious thoughts usually lead me to Red or Grey's room like bread crumbs. But my reading tells my there's no one in the cabin. There's more to the Sanctuary than just the cabin. If Gabriel isn't in his usual place then Violet must be with him.

I moves quickly to the porch and scans the landscape. I didn't see anyone when I came in through the gate. The lake is still and the forest edge is motionless. Where would he take her? I jump off the porch and runs to the Black Forest side of the cabin. Distant laugher catches my ear—Violet's laugh. She's not alone which means _he_ is with her. The first thing I can think of is how a girl laughs when she is tickled. Is he touching her? I strain my mind ear to hear. But they're too far away. My feet kick the tall grass—tall enough to lie in and not be seen. She giggles again and it wrenches my heart. After yesterday, there's no telling what he's doing to her. He has a persuading aura. I've seen it in Gabriel's memory. They all fall for it. Violet was going to fall right into his lap if it I hadn't knocked him out. He's had all day to entice her. I should've skipped school.

Two figures sitting by a fallen tree face each other. They're not far apart, but they're not close either. They're just talking. Violet giggles again. Gabriel is smiling but his relaxed body is not a good sign. He's usually slouch and too afraid to even look at her. I dive into their heads and their voices tune in and out so badly I know it's because of the stupid weight in my chest. From what I can read she's too content with his company. It makes my eyes burn to see her lean close to him. So what if he looks like Red. So what if his ability is identical to Red's. He isn't Red. I want to let him know that he isn't welcome to be that close to her after his attempts. Why does she forgive him so easily when all he wants is one thing?

"Are you okay?" Dash startles me.

"No, I'm not. Look at them. It's like nothing happened. He must have another ability that's causing her to think she's safe with him."

"Dude, calm down." Dash places his hands in his pocket.

I pace like a caged tiger. I rake my fingers through my hair as Violet laughs. She's interested in whatever lies he's telling her. His greedy eyes covet her. There's something new that twinkles in her eyes. I hate like it. That creep isn't hiding anymore. I want to shove my fist into his pretty face so he'll have a reason to hide in his hoodie again.

"He calmed down after your telepathy zapped his brain. I think they're just talking."

"Look at him. This is what he does. He uses people, Dash. I know because I've seen everything in that kids head. He can't be trusted."

"I think you're reading him wrong."

"Excuse me?" I face Dash. "Who's the telepath? I can see he's just one touch away from foaming at the mouth before he humps more than Violet's leg. That kid is an animal. Why don't you just grab him Dash, keep him occupied or something."

"What?" Dash says in an offensive tone.

"Oh, come on! I know your little secret. Everyone seems to just fall to his feet. He knows what he's doing. You haven't seen what I've seen in that sick brain of his. Look what he's done to you and look what he's doing to her." I point to Violet.

"He hasn't done anything to me." Dash takes his hands out of his pockets.

"Yeah, right. From what I knew of you before, you weren't such a faggot."

Dash charges me, grabbing my shirt. We slam to the ground. I roll on top of him and threaten him with my fist. Dash already has a bloody nose and lost his glasses in the scuffle. He sneers. I hesitate to punch the wrong kid.

"Go ahead! Hit Me! You know only half of what you read."

"He's got you so tight around his dick; you don't even remember why you're here." I want hit for that reason alone.

"Fuck you!" Dash shouts as the ground beneath us quakes. I clamp Dash's flailing arms. The grass around us turns yellow. He's trembling in my grasp and his formidable glare makes me think twice about fighting someone who tends to keep everything inside.

"Alex!" Violet's voice seizes the shaking ground. Dash looks shamefully away from me. His mind simmers down to a more calm and collected state for Violet's sake. It makes me feel like a raging animal in comparison.

"What is going on? Alex, what are you doing?" She pulls my arm. A light sensation runs through me and places a reassuring feeling to my heart. Gabriel comes to her side. Her hand slips away taking the sensation with her as I let Dash go. The impression must have been a leftover from being with Gabriel. It wasn't meant for me.

Dash gets to his feet, wiping his bloody nose. I walk away before I reveals too much of how I feel on my face. It's too much for me to handle. Violet catches up to me. I turn my head away from her direction, I don't want her to see me this angry.

"Alex, talk to me? What was that about?"

I pick up the pace. "Nothing." I search around for anything, but her face to look at.

"Alex, stop! Talk to me." I stop, but I can't look at her. But I fail when her pretty face moves into my view. "Alex, tell me."

I shake his head. I can feel the pressure around my eyes. "It's all bullshit! How can you let him take advantage like that? It's obvious he has a stalker-crush on you. He's sadistic, Vi."

"Alex, he's not sadistic. He's adjusting that's all."

"And you're going to forgive him? After what I saw in his sick head?"

"Gabriel's not sick in the head, if he is then so am. Have you forgotten we have the same ability? He's stronger, had a hard life, but he has someone to talk to about it. I understand."

"You're nothing like him. Your thoughts aren't evil."

"He's not evil, Alex. How could you say that?" She takes a step away from me like I disgust her.

I shake his head. "I'm not the one you should be disgusted in. I'm trying to protect you. The way you look at him because he looks like Red. I can see you compare the two. I can't stand it. He's not Red, Violet."

Her mouth drops and her arms wraps around herself.

"Vi, tell me I'm wrong. He's using that to his advantage."

She shakes her head and looks down at the ground. She's ashamed.

"I know you like that he looks like Red just like I remind you of Grey. Call me jealous because I am. But I can't let you be with that beast over there."

She looks back at Gabriel and then Dash. Her tearing eyes look back at me.

"I didn't mean to—"

I suddenly regret everything I just said. This is the same as the journal; the same as Red and Grey fighting. I'm making her feel guilty again.

"Violet? I—" I reach for her, but she resists me. "I didn't mean—"

"I'm so sorry." Her fingers grip her arms like she's trying to hold it all inside.

"Vi—"

She runs to the cabin thinking she could never be friends with any of us.

My hands want nothing more than to hold her. My feet want to run after her. But I'm stuck in place, thinking she needs be as far away from me because I made her remember everything that happens is her fault.

## Chapter Thirty-One

Dash

"You wanted to see me?" I stand awkwardly in the doorway. I can't count the times I've been in Red's room, but for some reason Violet's presence changes the atmosphere.

She wipes her wet face with the back of her hand. "Yes. Come in." Her voice tries to sound steady. I take a step into the room but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to sit on the bed or at the desk. Something tells me this conversation will be brief, in which case I stand with my hands in my pockets. Violet sits on the edge of the bed, grabbing a tissue for her red eyes.

"I think we need to hurry." She doesn't look up from her tissue. "Have you found anything?"

She folds the tissue into a square on her lap. I'm afraid to tell her I've found nothing relating to where Red may have gone. Even Grey's leave, comes up empty.

"No." The word comes out in barely a whisper.

Her tears fall again. Her hand trembles. "I thought if anything, it would start with you... that you'd find something. All this time we had. I feel like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. I don't even I know what that even is. I left you to your own devices. I figured something would happen."

"Maybe there's a way to contact him again."

"No." She crumples her tissue. "I used to feel his presence in my dreams, but now there's nothing. Something is wrong." She looks up at me. Her helpless face is proof of my slacking. I've wasted time.

"Violet, I'll look again. There's got to be something I missed."

"I don't know what else to do." She continues. "I don't know. I just don't know. I've let you all get so close... I must have done something wrong—"

"No, Violet. You haven't done anything wrong." I cautiously step forward.

"I've done it again. I've ruined everything... you're friendships... you were fighting. This can't happen. We have to find Red and this will be all over."

Over? This? I can't fathom a day without coming to my new favorite place. To go back to my old life would be such a nightmare. I won't be needed. My Goddess won't need me. My chest hurts just thinking about such a loss.

I kneel before her. "Violet, please don't say that."

"We're wasting time. Maybe it's me. I'm wasting..."

"Violet." I place my hand on hers. A light vibration is ripped away when she shoves me.

"Don't touch me!"

I fall back to the floor.

Violet covers her mouth. "I'm sorry." She gets up.

I rub where she pushed me. The delightful sensation spreads across my chest. An accidental smile forms on my lips.

"Oh, my God. You should leave." She rushes to the door.

"Violet, it's okay." I erase my smile and rise to my feet. "It's fine."

"No, it's not. I've touched you. Please, leave," she cries holding the door open.

"Violet—"

"Get out!" She sobs.

I do as I'm told. The door behind me shuts accompanied by a cool breeze to my back. My fingers are still vibrating. I close my eyes and feel it slowly fade. My heart sinks and my breathing picks up, beating like I've run a marathon. My hands begin to shake as the anxiety inflates.

I failed her. She must... hate me.

I make it to the door leading outside. The knob rattles and the door swings open. I stumble out of the cabin. The wood porch planks vibrate beneath my feet. I want to run away, but where? I sob and collapse to my knees. The subtle rocking motion slows the wood clacking and doorknob seizes it's rattling.

Violet hates me.

## Chapter Thirty-Two

Dash

Sitting on the edge of the forest I gaze at the great wonder that Red created; the Black forest, the lake, the gate and the cabin in one breathtaking view. There's so much more to I want to explore. There are more journals to read. I want more time with Violet. This new life in the Sanctuary will end sooner than later. According to Red's journals, I'm not of age to stay. I still have school and a family that cares for me. No more deciphering the hidden secrets of Red's cabin and no time to explore the peculiar forests surrounding it. Violet will be with Red and that's the end. It seems I'm too young for everything—especially Violet.

The conversation with her was quick and straight to the point—we need to hurry. The friendly aura she gave off is now locked away; reserved only for Red. I saw in her eyes she was purposely putting distance between us. I wish I had spent more time with her. My time with her is next to nothing. It's consumed with the journals, the Sanctuary and Gabriel. I neglected the sole reason for my happiness. I didn't sit with her to talk like Alex and Gabriel had, until now. But it wasn't a good talk. It felt like it was a 'hurry up and find Red and get out' conversation; it hurt.

I failed her; not finding what I needed to find; what Red wanted me to find. What did I miss?

"Hey." Alex says behind me.

"Hey. Come to finish me off?"

"No. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I'm an asshole."

"Yep, you are. And a douche," I grin. I can't be mad at him.

"Yeah, I know. I hope we're still friends?"

I look up at Alex like I've never heard of such a thing.

"Yeah, so still friends?" Alex looks like he's awkwardly waiting for confirmation before sitting.

I nod. Being Alex's official friend is pretty awesome, even if he did make my nose bleed.

"So what did Vi want to talk to you about?" Alex settles beside me as the slight high of being his friend simmers down.

"Red. She wants us to hurry."

"I get that. She needs us to leave so she won't feel she's hurting anyone. I'm such an idiot."

"I know."

Alex nudges me.

"I'm going to look over at a few more things before I leave today. We can't keep wandering away from what she asked us to do for her."

"When you're done, stop at my place. I'm having a party... maybe forget about this for a while. You should come."

"Seriously?" The last party I went to was my baby sister's sixth birthday party. Most of the time there were four year-olds running around the house smearing cake on everything. Somehow strawberry icing made it into my hair.

"It won't be like that." Alex chuckles. "Well maybe, if you like seventeen year-old girls doing the smearing." He bites his lip. "They'll be music, beer... other girls. You gotta come."

I smile at all three.

"Come on you need a break from this place... from Violet."

"I could never need a break from her," I confess.

"I do. She's messing up my head pretty bad."

I want to go but my confidence is low. I wouldn't know anyone there. I thought of Gabriel. If Gabriel goes, it would be a big help. I peer up at Alex baring the guilty thought in mind.

"No way. It'll end up making the party into a homo-erotic orgy. Besides you can make friends. You know, talk to people."

"You want him around Violet... alone?" My brow lifts.

Alex purses his lips and his eyes narrow. "Fine. But tell him to keep it in his pants."

I try to contain my excitement. A party—being friends with Alex is awesome.

"Keep the gay down to a minimum." He adds.

***

Dash

"Are you sure about this? I thought he hated me."

"He doesn't hate you and yeah, I'm sure you'll be fine." I grin thinking about the last time Gabriel asked about how sure I was. We were in Red's room and he was handcuffed to the terrace. "You make me feel comfortable."

"I make you feel comfortable?" Gabriel purses his smile. "You really are weird."

"Yeah, I don't really have friends." I shrug. "We kind of have that in common."

He smiles awkwardly. "My social skills suck." He frowns as the music from the party is reaching his ears.

"Another thing we have in common. Besides, we can always talk if we chicken out."

I make him smile. It gives me a thrill.

We walk quietly while I think about Violet and what she told me. With so much on my mind an hour or two won't hurt to stop thinking about what will happen after we find Red, that is, if we find Red. I sigh.

"This house is huge." Gabriel gapes blowing my thought away.

"Every house on this block is huge."

Gabriel rubs his arm like he's cold. I bet he wishes he had his hoodie. He's having second thoughts.

"You're okay. You've got yourself pretty contained. As long as no one touches your skin, you're alright."

"What if I'm set off?" The light from the street lamp makes one of his green eyes glow.

"You'll be fine. I doubt anyone here comes close in comparison to Violet. Besides, I'm not leaving your side."

Gabriel swallows staring up at the house. The music is loud and all of the lights are on. People are moving in and out with drinks in their hands. I almost feel bad that I dragged him here for my own comfort—almost. He's a beautiful distraction. I slowly drag my hand down his back and lightly press him to move with me to the house. I'm glad he's used to me touching him. I don't think I could ever stop.

"D-Man." Alex greets us immediately at the front door, bombarding me with a drunken hug. Gabriel backs away before Alex brushes against him accidentally. I grab his shirt before Gabriel steps too far away for comfort.

"I'm psyched you came." I get a whiff of his beer breath as Alex places his arm around me. He waves as if he were presenting the party to me. "Yo, Jake. Pete!" Alex shouts over the music. Two guys Alex's age and just as tall come over.

"D-man, this Jake and Pete, my besties." Alex tugs his arm around my neck affectionately. "Jake, Pete this is Dash. He's wicked smart and shit, so watch-it. And that's Gabriel." He points without looking at him. Jake and Pete nod, raising their drinks.

Jake grabs some beers and hands them to us. I take both and hand Gabriel his.

"Beer pong?" Pete reaches in his pocket, glaring at me and Gabriel for a challenge.

Alex starts raising his hands up as if he made a goal. "Beer Pong! Set the table!" He shouts to the room.

I know beer pong from my brother Cedric and I know there's no way Jake and Pete will win. I've got a knack for precision throwing.

Setting up the table, Gabriel inches closer. He's staring at his bottle, worried about drinking. He went overboard at the concert chasing Violet around. "You're alright, trust me. I'm here," I say under my breath.

"Well, at least I know this won't fill itself." He says under his breath.

I feel bad about the night of the concert. I just wanted us to have fun. I hold the ping pong balls in my hand as Jake places six red cups into the usual triangle on each side of the table; three, then two then lastly one pointing towards the table center. Alex fills the cups a quarter of the way, spilling a little because of his unsteady hands. I concentrate on the balls in my hands feeling their weight and calculating. I bounce them one by one placing more and more of my energy with the ping pong balls. I grin at Gabriel. He sees the aura around them as I leave my own energy trace upon them.

"Cheater." Gabriel nudges me. My grin disappears as I realized that it is cheating. I will have control of the balls this way. I frown and hand them to Gabriel to let the energy dissipate.

The game begins and even in their drunken state Jake and Pete are tearing us a new one.

"Shit!"

Pete's throw lands in another cup. Gabriel has to drink another. The beer is punishing him hard. I feel okay. Somehow the alcohol isn't as effective with me as it is with Gabriel.

"You okay?" I say under my breath.

"Barely." He's reaching the point where he will no longer will be able to hold back his aura if we don't slow the other two down.

"You're doing great, Gabriel."

"And you're playing like shit."

I take the ball on my turn and feel it out again, grinding my teeth. Jake points his finger at me like a gun. Alex bobs his head to the music as he watches his old friends battle his new ones. Girls cling to him like bees to honey. He seems to be getting bored as his attention is drawn to the big breasted one filling his cup.

I rub the ball, giving it my energy for the perfect bounce straight into the first cup. With each game, Jake and Pete's triangle is knocked out one by one. Their ball throws are not as direct as before; spinning off the rims or missing them entirely. The beer is affecting their game and their spirit is plummeting.

For Alex, the game isn't as exciting as sucking face's with a girl wrapped in his arm. Gabriel notices after his turn, looking at me with the same puzzled look. What about Violet? Gabriel shrugs contently at the idea of Violet leaving Alex's mind. But I'm not as dismissive as Gabriel. Alex likes Violet. What he said before about her messing with his head. It seems she's really effecting him. The random girl in his arms must be the distraction but then again I remember at the diner he did the same thing. It seems Alex is an 'in the moment' type of guy. At the moment Violet isn't here.

***

Alex

Dash eyes me. The mind numbing music I'm used to escaping away with subdues and Dash thoughts come through like an FM station.

What are you doing Alex?

Forgetting, I project my thought to him.

Forgetting what?

I ignore him and look at the pretty brunette I have my hands on. She isn't remotely as beautiful as Violet, but that's the problem. Someone better than Violet will be able to destroy her hold on me. It seems like an impossible task for the poor girl. Her blue eyes play coy but her hands aren't as bashful, running up my abdomen. Violet never touched me and she probably never will. I'm pissed at that. I take the girl's hand and head to my parent's bedroom. She doesn't waste any time which I like. We kiss. She tastes like cherry flavored vodka—too sweet.

Oh my God, I can't believe this, she celebrates.

I avoid kissing her too much to avoid her overly-sweetened flavor. Her hands annoyingly hold my face in place. I push her on my parent's bed and take my shirt off. She watch's me like she's won a prize—a facial expression I let my ego feed on. The boost reminds me that I'm free to do what I want and I can have anyone I want. Right now I want to fuck. I climb on top of the blue-eyed cutie claiming her as mine for now.

Oh my God. Oh My God... Her voice is trying to make sense of reality. I get that a lot.

I kiss her overly candied mouth, listening to her mind; she's unaware of my eavesdropping. Her mind is more distracting than I wish as I pull out a condom and prepare to take her.

He's so hot. She looks up at me. Her compliments are on repeat.

She really wants this. She's wanted this with me since eighth grade. I don't know her, but she knows me. We share classes together. I'm uncomfortable knowing this and try listening to the surrounding room activity as I wedge between her thighs, but her overjoyed thoughts are making me think twice. I've never thought twice. Her big blue eyes stare up at me in awe as her thoughts parade around in celebration.

I can't believe this is happening. This is really happening.

I find my entry.

I thrust into her fully as her last thought comes out as a deep exhale into her agape mouth, paralyzing my body.

My first time... Alex Aisling.

I look down at her huge black pupils. A Virgin? This never bothered me before.

My conscience rise out of the depths of my drunken mind telling me this is not right. I look away from her face closing my eyes. I can't look at her. I can't listen to her talk about me like this. I'm anything but Amazing, Alex the Great, Alex the Greatest. But I can't say no to this. This is who I've always been.

I penetrate her carefully, her mind is busy experiencing me and I can focus more on my bodily sensations. The feeling of breaking her is not what I want, but she wants me and I need her. She has to help me recover.

My guilty thrusts make me angry at myself for using the innocent girl to erase the fact I'm losing myself. Sinking deeper into the girl, I'm sinking deeper into regret. Violet had fucked with my heart; I've fallen for her bad. I have no idea if fucking this poor girl will help erase that.

With my eyes shut I refocus on the girl under me. I imagine Violet beneath me. The blue-eyed cutie becomes my brown-eyed desire. My hand brushes her cheek as I feel the girl around me. Would she feel like this? I savor the feeling. My imagination gets me excited too quickly.

"Oh, Alex!" The girl cries out.

Violet!

The sound of her name echoes through my mind as I pour forth my offering. It leaves me empty as my eyes open to the girl whose name is not Violet. She smiles up at me in worship. I realize what I had done is far worst then having sex with a girl I don't have feelings for. I used her and taken something I had no right to take.

I regretfully look into her eyes. "I'm sorry." I remove myself from her.

"Why? Alex?!"

I put my clothes back on, leaving her on my parent's bed alone.

## Chapter Thirty-Three

Dash

Jake and Pete are hammered from beer pong. I'm still pretty sober, but I decide not to play anymore. Instead, Gabriel goes against someone else without me. He's doing well as he has a feel for his new talent, throwing ping pongs in cups. His confidence makes him move his body more openly which keeps me watchful for his sake. I feel odd keeping girls away from his side of the table as he plays and wonder if it looks like there's something between us.

Finishing another winning game, we decide to let someone else play.

"That was so much fun." Gabriel says, wide-eyed. "I'm so glad I came."

"Me too." I say. "You got me worried for a while there."

"I'm fine. I feel great." He places his hands in his back pockets standing straighter than I've ever seen. "What else can we do here?"

"Yeah, man nice game!" A guy opens a bottle of beer and hands it to Gabriel.

"Thanks!" Gabriel takes it without flinching. He's got himself contained.

The party keeps on going like a well-oiled machine. Non-stop music and a steady flow of new faces appear. I stand glued beside Gabriel who makes conversation with another comic enthusiast. It's interesting to hear the things I already know about him just from his bedroom. I feel lucky to confirm those things.

A new face catches Gabriel's attention. He ends his conversation with the comic guy and awkwardly backs away, removing his hands from his back pockets and into his front pockets. His eyes are glued across the room. I follow his gaze. Another guy across the room is staring at him. A smile of recognition registers with the stranger.

"Dash, I need to get out of here, now!"

I hear the panic in his voice. "What is it?" I ask, but Gabriel heads for the door.

"Gabriel!" The guy from across the room walks over.

Gabriel halts and reluctantly turns to meet him.

"Josh." He says in a nervous sigh. His eyes avoid looking at him directly, but Josh is more than excited to see Gabriel—he's enthralled.

"What happened? I haven't seen you in like forever." A hint of devastation is in his tone. I observe Gabriel's body beginning to slouch. Whoever Josh is makes Gabriel very uncomfortable.

"Hey. I'm Josh, Gabriel's best friend." Josh gives a weak smile and his eyes quickly access me from head to toe. I do the same. I notice that there's something about Josh that seems constrained. Gabriel nods confirming what Josh is saying.

I thought Gabriel didn't have any friends. Gabriel's eyes meet mine and I read him instantly. _'Sorry for lying'._

"I'm Dash. Gabriel and I met through Alex, a mutual friend."

"Mutual friend. How'd you meet Alex?" Josh aims his question at Gabriel. He's not convinced.

Gabriel's head bows.

"Through another friend." I answer for him. "You wouldn't know her. She doesn't live around here."

Josh's lips purse.

"So, I'll talk to you later." I smile at Gabriel as if to end a conversation we were having before Josh interrupted. Gabriel's eyes tell me 'please don't leave me'. I nod reassuringly and walk away, but not to too far. I will stay close to listen and to come to Gabriel's aide just in case. I'm curious about this Josh. If he is Gabriel's best friend, he should tie that end—especially if he makes him feel so uncomfortable.

"What happened?" Josh asks again as his eyes shift everywhere in the room and lastly Gabriel. "Did you leave school?"

"Yeah. I left school."

"Look, it's kinda noisy in here. You want talk outside?"

Gabriel nods. Not that he looks any better for leaving the party. I give him a reassuring nod. I'll be close.

Josh and Gabriel find a quieter spot on the side of the house. I'm around the corner, out of Josh's sight, listening.

"About that night?" Josh says.

"Lower your voice." Gabriel's hands come out of his pockets and his eyes meet mine for a split second. It seems whatever they're talking about Gabriel doesn't want me to know. Luckily I have high sensitivity to my five senses thanks to Red.

"What about it?" Gabriel's tone changes slightly. His breathing is a little faster. It takes me a moment to notice, but Josh's body shows every sign of interest in Gabriel—not as a friend.

"I can't stop thinking about you."

"Josh—"

"No, let me finish." Josh moves closer. There are only inches between them. "I know it's you that makes me feel like this. After that night, I can't stop thinking about you."

Through the branches of the bushes I watch as Gabriel's eyes redden with grief.

"I didn't mean to—" His voice trembles.

"What ever happened, Gabriel, I've been waiting to feel that again. You have no idea—" Josh takes a step toward him. Gabriel holds out his hand to stop him. He touches his chest and retracts quickly. Josh's breathing has quickened. Gabriel's eyes tear and he says something I can't pick up. Gabriel suddenly walks away and Josh follows him.

Where are they going? I keep Gabriel in sight and follow them as they walk along the side of the house. They go into the detached garage. What is he doing? I approach slowly, listening. I hear heavy breathing and things being moved haphazardly.

Shit!

Heavy petting—sounds that told me to come back later.

***

Dash

I pace anxiously, eyeing the garage. Should I interrupt? Should I wait? It's too embarrassing to knock, what would I say? Hey, stop touching Gabriel? "Agh, God that's so—"

Gabriel comes rushing out, pulling his shirt down. He combs through his hair, his face is red and his cheeks are wet. I swiftly catch up to him as he hastily leaves the property. Josh leaves after hurrying back to the party without a second glance at Gabriel.

"Gabriel!" I catch up with him. His expanded hot aura heats the front of my body like a furnace. I back away. Gabriel turns around as I try to collect myself from the exciting state it puts me in. I'm getting better at resisting his auric pull, but this time his aura is worked up. There's anguish in his eyes. Whatever he did with Josh is something his aura wanted, not what Gabriel wanted. He's his own abuser.

"Sorry." He mutters. He stops walking.

"You don't have to apol—"

"This is useless. I'm hopeless." Gabriel sobs. "I can't help it. It just comes out." He walks off again.

"Gabriel, wait!" I grab his arm.

He pulls away, but I hold tight. Gabriel tries to tug away from me as if I was coaxing him to do it all again. "Please don't. I don't want to."

I pull him to me, face to face with my hand clamped to his wrist. "It's okay."

Gabriel pushes me away not realizing I'm trying to console him, not ruin him.

"Stop!" Gabriel shouts. "I know you're affected by me—you're around me too much."

"Gabriel, I'm not affected. Not the way you think."

"Yes you are. I'm like a virus. I thought we were friends. I thought—" Gabriel rubs his face in confusion. Is he talking about me or Josh? Maybe both.

"We are friends. You are my friend. I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do." I approach, but Gabriel steps back.

"I can't have friends. Josh used to be my friend... I should be put away. I should be alone."

"No. Gabriel you're perfect."

Gabriel laughs as tears continue to wet his face. "God, you're so delusional." He walks away. I follow.

"Don't follow me." Gabriel growls. "If you follow me, I will hurt you."

***

Violet

I put down my book when I hear Gabriel rush in and bolt up the stairs to his room.

His stressed aura leaves a muddy and dull trail behind him. I knock on his bedroom door and Gabriel doesn't answer. When he doesn't answer, I take a chance and open the door.

"Gabriel?" I cover my eyes for a moment in case he is changing. But I lift my hand and find him sitting on the floor in the dark with his back to the wall. His head is between his knees. I hear him sobbing.

My heart breaks to hear such a sound.

I enter and sit at a safe distance. I watch his shoulders shake and listen to his weeping. "Gabriel, what is it?" I want to reach for him and hold him. Rock him in her arms and give the comfort he so deserves. But that is impossible. He's drowning and I can't do anything about it.

Gabriel doesn't say a word. After a while he stops sobbing and I watch him with my head resting down on the floor. Gabriel lies down; his body faces to mine. I can see his precious green eyes glisten from his grief; his eyelids look heavy and weak. He's vulnerable lost Gabriel again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Gabriel shakes his head no.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No," he whispers.

We watch each other until we both fall asleep.

***

Dash

The music is still loud. Alex's neighbors must be used to it. Who knows what Alex is doing now—or who? I sit on the curb with the house at his back, wondering if going back to the party will make me feel better. Watching Alex numb himself, trying to pretend the other world doesn't exist for a while. Maybe that's what I need. And for a while it worked—with Gabriel. Who am I kidding? No matter what I do, I always feel like the wrong piece to the puzzle. I don't fit with Alex, we're polar opposites. I don't fit with Gabriel who now sees me as another so-called friend who wants to be more than friends. I don't fit Violet, as much as I want to. She has someone she already loves—two of them.

Who am I? Alex summed it up perfectly the first day—'a kid with an overactive imagination'. I can't even find anything to help Red. What good am I to anyone?

I decide to take a stroll through the city to help clear my head. I don't want to go home and I don't want to go to the Sanctuary. I let my feet take me anywhere.

Tonight they take me to a location I feel is familiar, but can't place why. The theatre is like any other. It's flashing lights and the long line to get in tells me it could be like the one we took Violet the other night. Passing it, I recall nothing, but it bothers me. Its presence is shouting something. I try to recall why it feels important. I stop to pass it again and again. Even cross the street to look at it from the other side. Nope, it just another music venue. I walk on with the nagging notion that it means something. Perhaps I've seen it somewhere; the local paper? I go through the inventory; everything in the Sanctuary I've taken to memory until I think of only thing I couldn't.

## Chapter Thirty-Four

Dash

I creep into the cabin. Violet and Gabriel must be asleep. The map is in Red's room. I have to see the map. Red's door is open. Red's bed is empty.

"Violet?" I walk in. I turn on the light. She's not here. I look out into the great room and Gabriel's door. It's closed. I climb the stairs with an ache in chest. I don't hesitate to go inside. Violet is curled up on the floor and Gabriel lies on his side under the window. They're both sleeping. I drag a blanket off the bed and cover Violet's sleeping body. I kneel beside her so he can memorize her sleeping face. I caress her cheek. My fingers tingle like they do with Gabriel, but it's very mild. I want to kiss her, but I'd rather her want me too.

I remove my jacket and place it on Gabriel. I watch him for a moment. If there's anything I can do to fix this for him, it will be to find Red. He's the one that can help us all.

I head back down to Red's room and spread the map out on his bed. I don't remember it quite like this. There seems to be something different about it. Something's changed since the first day Violet let me look at it. I'm usually great at remembering things exactly. I close my eyes and recall the memory of my first day here. Opening my eyes, I compare the two. The venue I passed earlier is a location marked on the map. That's why it's familiar. Now, there's an extra dot since the last time I scanned it. Within the information in the paper, I can see signs of an ongoing process. The map is active.

Red not only marked it, he's _still_ marking it.

Why mark these places? The black ink lines of his travels trace back to where Red had started. There's no particular pattern to it, nor did they point to a certain area. It must have been marked for a reason. I decide to see for myself what else besides the theatre is marked. I leave the Sanctuary, to walk the maps marks. I hope a clue within the alleys and streets surrounding each location will give me a clue as to why Red flagged the new location. Nothing speaks to me.

I travel to each dot. A bar, a club, theatres, another club; places you go for a good time or places you go to forget. Red doesn't seem to be the type that would drink his sorrows away or go out for a 'good time', but after leaving Violet maybe he would. No. Red is not like that. He loves her and was devastated he had to leave her. Why would he hang around so close to the Sanctuary and not see Violet?

Grey fits the type.

I recall a journal entry about Red's not being alright about venturing outside of the Sanctuary with Violet, but Grey wanted to. After ditching Red, Grey took Violet to a club. He likes to dance, drink and enjoys music. But why would the map mark him? What if the marks are someone else? Red is a Hybrid tracker. Maybe another Hybrid is involved.

Reading the signs on the brick wall doesn't get me anywhere. I can't pick up anything through the building; it isn't easy like Red's Sanctuary where the invisible are visible. The Hybrid way of seeing is easier in the Sanctuary. The human made buildings are harder. They are just piles of bricks telling me nothing. I decide Gabriel will have to come with me. If anything, he'll be able to see what type of energy is in the area.

It's getting late and I'm exhausted. The need to finish what I've started is great. I'm no use to Violet sleep deprived. I turn myself in for the night and go straight to the Sanctuary the next morning.

I don't want to make a big deal about what I've found. Pushing aside the events from the night before, I explain to Gabriel and Alex that not telling Violet is important. She could become very anxious and make a hasty decision to take matters into her own hand. We agree to keep our investigation a secret for now until things are clear.

I want to take a look at the clubs and bars at night in hope that something will stand out in the activity. We start with the newest marking on the map, the venue that had opened not too long ago; the one that caught my eye last night—Gravity.

***

Gabriel

The focus to help Violet, obliterates everything pitiful thing in my life. She stayed with me last night. She wanted to embrace me. I wanted her to. Her being near me at a weak moment like last night rests my anxiety. There's something about her that calms my soul. I want to do everything I can to help her find Red. I hear a sigh that could only be Alex listening to my thoughts. He hates that she was with me and he was with someone else.

"Get on with it," Alex growls.

It makes me smile that I'm needed for my ability. The sight comes quickly every time I think of who I'm doing this for. I let my energy rise up to my crown and I open my eyes. The world changes into a dark world of shadows; man-made objects become gray mass. Only people and plants glow in intense colors. Moving and floating in and around the building like strings of Christmas lights. I have a hard time reading the residual energy left by so many. It's a beautiful mess.

"I don't know what I'm looking for."

"Anything unusual," Dash says.

"Everything looks unusual. I've never really done this outside of the Sanctuary."

"We'll walk and take a closer look," Dash says. "Are you okay walking in this state?"

"I think so." I swallow.

"Why don't you hold his hand?" Alex teases.

Dash ignores him and so do I. I'm not about to lose my cool.

We walk to the theatre, right through the residual river of energies. I hold my breath thinking it will affect me. The left over energy is too weak without the actual aura hitting me. The energy moves like smoke as mine mingles with others. Alex and Dash's auras stand out among the lights. Alex's color is a flaming copper, glowing like hot embers. Dash's color is a shimmering citrine, bright enough to blind like the morning sun. There's a strange color around them like mine and Violet's. The strange color resembles close to the color red but it isn't red at all.

"Hey, your auras are different." I stop walking.

"I know. We have a weird color around ours right? We're Hybrid. Look for that, Gabriel. Whatever this location means have to do with a Hybrid." Dash pushes his glasses up.

"This one is silver and sticky." I splay my fingers out in front of me. "I've only seen that color on us. Is it Red?"

"No, Red's aura is red. Grey is silver though." Dash brows crease.

"You think it's him?" Alex says.

"It could be another Hybrid with a silver aura." Dash watches me closely. I walk around the invisible thing, trying to avoid walking through it. "What do you mean by sticky?"

"Like thick and clingy, smoky, not like regular aura energy which moves away like mist. This one's got a texture." I wipe my hand on my shirt. "It goes into the venue."

"We need to talk to some of these people and take a look inside this place." Dash says.

"They won't let us in. We're under age?" I say.

"Dash can make us IDs. It'll be sweet." Alex rubs his hands together, eager to get inside.

"Just remember we're here to find Red." Dash leads the way.

"Yeah, looking forward to that." Alex says sarcastically.

"If we do find Grey, maybe he can help us," I follow them to the end of the line.

"No way. The guy is probably mad that Red took his girlfriend," Alex says.

"He didn't take her." Dash corrects him.

"Borrowed, whatever. The guy is a key to this." Alex says. "I can't help but think he has something to do with his disappearance."

"Well, isn't Red like more powerful? How could Grey do anything to Red?" I say as the line moves.

The silence between all of us is obvious—how are we going to do this? Whoever took Red had to be pretty powerful. None of us are even remotely close to that power.

"Violet will have to help in some way. But her involvement is questionable. Her feelings for Red could get in the way, she's a lot weaker than we are and she could get hurt. So let's play this by ear."

I nod with Alex.

We have to figure out what's going on before devising a plan. Red picked us. For now we have to trust his judgment. We have to have faith in ourselves, something Dash always tells me.

Dash whips out IDs out his pocket like a magician. I don't understand how he does it out of thin air. It's obvious he did a lot a reading.

We pass the scrutinizing eyes of security. The place is loud with live music and people wall to wall. Alex closes his eyes and nods his head to the music. He's now deaf to his ability. I slide my hood over my head and hide my face. Bodies skim me and I'm thankful I remembered my hoodie.

"Gabriel, I need you to find the hybrid." Dash says in my ear.

We walk together through the theatre. I attempt to keep my aura inside, trying to avoid collisions and touching. Dash notices my heavy breathing because of the closeness to so many auras skimming mine. It's impossible to avoid anyone. "I'm sorry." I say as one by one, people make shoulder to shoulder contact.

"It's okay. You're doing really well." Dash encourages. Clubbers unknowingly look around for what has captivated their body's attention. We move more quickly as I naturally head to the exit door.

"Gabriel!" Dash takes my arm and tightly grips my arm and pulls me to the wall. Dash's hands tighten with every breath I take. His grip prevents me from escaping. My head hangs low to hide my shame. My labored breathing is evident that I'm about to lose control.

"I can't."

"It's okay. You're okay." Dash repeats over and over for me. Soon his grip loosens. "It's just you and me." Dash's protectively occupies the space between me and crowd behind him. "If you really can't do this, tell me." He searches for my face in my hood.

I hide. I don't want to give up.

"I think you guys should quit it." Alex approaches. "Do that shit at home."

Dash's jaw flexes and he whips around. "If you were even listening you'd know what's going on, Alex. Stop drowning yourself. You can filter out the music if you want to."

"Fuck you! You know I can't."

"You're not even trying." Dash shouts. "Look at Gabriel, at least he's trying."

Alex looks my way, "Gross."

"Fuck you." I say in one breathe.

"No thanks."

"I hate you so much."

"The feeling is mutual." Alex turns to Dash. "We don't need him."

"Yes we do. And I need you to focus, Alex."

"It's too loud!"

"Stop making excuses." Dash sighs exasperatingly. "Thank God Violet isn't here."

A silvery spark catches my eye. I stare pass Alex. Alex and Dash stop arguing. Alex turns around to follow my gaze.

"He's over there." My breathing levels out. "Sitting at the bar. A Hybrid."

## Chapter Thirty-Five

Alex

I spot him immediately. He sitting alone, staring at his drink. His expression looks empty, like he's been drinking all evening. His blinking eyes go from his glass to my face. My scalp prickles when those gray eyes glare at me.

"He's reading me."

Grey's presence infiltrates my mind aggressively; pushing and shoving my thoughts around like a blender. "I can't block him. I don't know how."

"I feel him too." Gabriel's green eyes peek up from under his hood.

"Me too." Dash rubs his forehead.

"I'm going to go talk to him." I leave them as I remotely hear Dash protest.

I don't see colors around bodies or see anything that hints his personality. I go straight to the source. I sit next to him. This is the guy Violet loved; her boyfriend.

The music slowly drowns out and then the chattering fades. From this moment on, this is for Violet. Silence is complete. It's a fucking miracle. There's nothing except Grey.

_Drink?_ Grey raises his glass.

I nod, staring at someone I only saw in a dream. Like a character in a book come to life; Grey is a real person—too damn real for comfort.

_Yeah, I'm real._ Grey nods to the bartender who slides a dark brown drink in front of Me. I listen to Grey, but his mind is as tight as the secret service. I don't want to pry right away. Grey raises his drink, and I take mine and do the same.

_To Violet_ , Grey says.

I hate his smirking face. I sip the alcohol; its way stronger than any beer I've tasted. I cough and Grey smirks again.

I want to ask him straight up where Red is, but before I even form it into a full thought Grey says, _You think I know where he is?_ He finishes his drink. _Sorry to tell you, Alex, I tried looking for him too._ Grey shakes his glass. The ice shuffles around in circles. _I gave up a long time ago._

_I see that._ _You also gave up and left Violet all by herself. What kind of a boyfriend would do that?_

_The kind that was dumped for Red._ His voice is firm. I hit a nerve.

You weren't dumped, asshole. She unfortunately loves you.

Grey chews his bottom lip.

_Loved, Alex. Past tense. Besides she'd be looking for me, not Red, right?_ Grey swivels on his stool to face me.

I take that information in for a moment. If she does love Grey, she would be looking for him too, right? The bartender fills his glass.

_Right_. Grey confirms tossing back another drink.

But if you love her—

_Loved._ Grey corrects as his jaw tightens.

_You're lying._ _You wouldn't be this close to the Sanctuary. And you do love her so what's keeping you from her?_

Grey stares at his empty glass. _You're not very good at all at this are you, Alex? Is that what you see?_

I question myself. Is that what I seeing? Grey's thoughts on Violet are confusing. They resent her in every way. Yet, most of his thoughts of her are blocked; forced to the back of his mind like a traumatic event. Only remnants of their love flash, but not enough for the thoughts to confirm he still loves her. How could he not love her?

I, for one am glad you're not in her life. She's better off without you. It's probably why she's looking for Red and not you.

Grey slams his glass down. I see his tattoos on his forearm flex. My words sting. Grey looks to Gabriel and Dash. _You all have a little boy crush on her. Sorry to tell you this, but she'll break each and every one of your hearts as soon as you find him. Maybe you're better off giving up your search._ Grey gets up and adjusts his pea-coat.

Well, unlike you I love Violet even if it means finding Red.

Grey suppresses his laugh. _Right. What do you know about love, Alex Aisling?_ A forced montage of my many flings bombs my mind. Asshole.

"Good luck competing." Grey walks away. Giving Gabriel and Dash a last look before disappearing in to the crowd.

***

Alex

The high of being that close to someone so dangerous makes my adrenaline pump. We leave the venue behind us as quickly as possible. Gabriel turns around once in a while to make sure we're not being followed. I think the kid can see better in the dark like some nocturnal animal. If it weren't for that, I'd think I'd be running down the street.

Dash and Gabriel listen carefully to every word I say. I'm impressed I can replay the whole conversation perfectly.

"He's a liar." I smile thinking about the thoughts he hid in the dark corner of his mind. He couldn't hide all his thoughts; some seeped out when I angered him. He got the hints when I mentioned her looking for Red and not him. "Everything out of his mouth was a lie. He still loves her and he lied about looking for Red. He said he stopped looking for him a long time ago. That's a lie."

"So he's either still looking for Red or he knows where he is," Gabriel walks backwards to looks behind us and turns around again.

"I'm betting he's got him. I can feel just by sitting next to him how powerful he is. He's not what I thought at all. Maybe he found a way to weaken Red or something because he was... I don't know.... crazy powerful."

"Maybe we need to follow him." Dash stops walking.

"No need. I know where he lives." I grin, shoving him forward to continue our walk. "Shit! I can't believe we found Grey."

"We'll tell Violet tomorrow and figure out a plan." Dash says.

We reach the corner for us to go our separate ways.

Gabriel lets out a long sigh. "I'm tired. That took a lot out of me."

"Well, you did a great job, Gabriel. It took more energy to control then to let go. I'm proud of you," Dash smiles.

"Yeah, you spotted Grey." I clear my throat. "Nice."

"What was that" Gabriel grins.

I clear my throat. "Yeah, go home."

Gabriel snickers and puts his hood up. "See you guys tomorrow." His figure blends into the shadows. When he walks away it looks as if he completely disappears into the night.

"You too, Alex. You focused just when we needed you," Dash grins. He looks like such a kid, but he certainly doesn't act like one sometimes.

"Thanks, I even surprised myself. And you're like the leader of this plan. Without you, we wouldn't have any idea about the map."

"I'm no leader." Dash places his hands in his pockets bowing his head.

"Sure you are."

Dash looks up above his glasses at me; I give him a genuine smile. "Thanks." He says, shrugging his shoulders.

"Hey, don't hide the confidence. It looks good on you." I say giving him a hard pat on the back that nearly pushes him over. "We'll continue tomorrow. Alright?"

He nods turns to head home. The street light above me flickers. I'm afraid to leave this spot. I don't want to be alone.

"Hey!" I shout at Dash, who comes rushing back like a stray dog.

"You want to sleep over." I avert my eyes elsewhere. I feel like a loser asking, but I know he'd want the same thing. "I hate sleeping in an empty house."

"Yeah." Dash cheeks flame up.

"Ah, shit. Don't blush, man."

"It's just..." He stuffs his hands in his pockets. "I thought you hated gay stuff—"

"Shut up! We're friends, idiot." I shove him. "Come on. You're sleeping on the floor."

## Chapter Thirty-Six

Alex

"You found Grey? Where is he? Is he okay?" All of her thoughts fall in my head like an avalanche. I wonder if it was a bad idea to tell her. She might run off and try to talk to Grey without our help.

"I don't think you should worry about him, Vi. We think he has Red." I say.

"What?" Violet gets up from the couch and I settle my hand on her shoulder to pull her down beside me.

She asks as if it that were impossible. She has no idea how much Grey changed. There's something unsettling about the guy. Everything out of his mouth was a lie, even with his mind blocking the way; I know he isn't the same guy she fell in love with.

"We're going to check." Dash eyes me as he sits on her other side. He's not entirely convinced Grey is crazy like I do. "Alex has a feeling he might have something to do with Red's disappearance."

"More than a feeling," I correct him.

"I can't believe this. You found Grey and you think he has something to do with his disappearance? Grey wouldn't!"

"He would, Vi." I remove my hand from her shoulder. "I read his thoughts. There's something not right about him."

She's looking at me like I'm the crazy one. Her thoughts are offensive, she doesn't believe me. I'm a telepath. Why is everyone fucking skeptical?

_They don't know him._ She clenches the hem of her shirt.

"Grey hates Red for stealing your heart—plain and simple." I hate to clarify it to her. It's afflictive to see the one you love choose someone else. Cher's face comes to mind briefly. My best friend's girl isn't anything to me. I shake my head to disregard such a senseless idea. I never loved her.

Violet's thoughts interrupt my confusing one. Her mind jumps quickly from disbelief that Grey is unstable to the heartbreaking moment when Grey ripped off her necklace. She still wants to know why he left her. Why didn't he come back? She doesn't want to believe Grey would hurt Red.

"Vi, he's dangerous."

"No, that's not Grey." Her eyes are starting to water. Reminding her of what he did to her, will only bring more tears. There are two sides to the guy and Violet is in denial.

"We don't know anything for sure." Dash glares at me. "We'll check his room for clues. We found where he's been staying."

"He can't hate Red that much. They loved each other like brothers. They're best friends."

I can't hold it back. She needs a wake-up call. The guy is holding a huge grudge against Red. He's the prime suspect. Is she blind? "Face it! They're not friends anymore!" I shout.

Violet gasps.

I didn't mean to say it so harshly. Grey is not what she thinks. I hate confirming her heartbreak, but it's the only way to move forward.

"So are we just breaking into his room?" Violet cries. "I have to talk to him? I can't believe he would do anything to Red. I mean he might be angry but accusing him of having anything to do with Red's disappearance is ridiculous."

"Right, so I'm the liar? Thanks Vi."

"Alex!" Dash scolds. "We don't know that."

"Why don't you believe me? I spoke with the guy. He's suspicious."

"I'm going to talk to him." Violet stands.

"No way!" I grab her arm. "We can't trust that he won't hurt you. He's not the same person."

She shakes me off. "You don't know him!"

Violet isn't listening. She doesn't want to believe me. It hurts; she doesn't trust my judgment. She insists that she can talk to him and everything will be okay. I look at Dash and Gabriel, aggravated that she refuses to understand that Grey is a totally different person than the one she remembers. What's worse is she still loves that guy. _That fucking guy..._

"You're right, we don't know him," Gabriel steps in front of her. "But if Alex talked to him and Grey didn't seem right to him. I think we need to trust Alex, Violet. Red chose him to help."

My mouth twitches. Gabriel of all people. Shit.

Violet purses her lips. "You don't know him like I do."

I feel another stab to my chest.

Dash shifts in his seat. He's afraid of angering her. "I think its best Grey doesn't know, Violet. If he's as dangerous as Alex expresses, then interacting with him might be a bad idea. If we break into his room, we can see what he's been up to."

Violet folds her arms and looks away from all of us disapprovingly.

Dash clears his throat and continues, "If he's not in the building, we'll check the room for clues. It isn't much of a plan, if we can even call it that."

"Fine. Let's go." Violet walks away, hastily putting on her jacket. None of us trust her.

_We'll have to keep him away from her; or her away from him—whatever it takes_ , I say in their thoughts while Violet anxiously waits at the door. _There's something wrong with that guy. I'll be damned if he lays a finger on her._

***

Gabriel

I'm glad the club isn't as crowded as the other night. There's room to move which gives me the confidence to focus on keeping my aura in check. Most of the people are hovering by the bar until the live music starts, making it easier to scope out the area for Grey.

"I got nothing." Dash makes his way to Alex from searching the other side of the club. "I asked the bartender, he said he left hours ago. It'll be hours until he gets back. He said he's usually out all night."

"Out all night?" Violet perks up hearing the information about Grey.

Alex rubs his necks. "You don't think he would slip pass us, right?"

"The trail I saw outside was old." I watch Violet when I know I should be watching for Grey. She's anxiously scanning the room again. I wonder why such a guy would leave her all by herself in the Sanctuary. She seems so worried about him. It must be nice to be missed by someone.

"Let's give it a once over again. We'll split up." Alex says as Violet starts walking away.

"Follow her." Alex says to me. I'm astonished he trusts me that much.

We walk the perimeter of the club. I don't even think she's notices I'm trailing her. She stares up at the staircase leading up the second floor. She touches the railing.

"Violet!" I reach out to her arm and retract before I touch her. "Violet, we can't just leave." I look back at Alex and Dash who also part ways.

"You see that?" Her eyes are affixed at top of the staircase. "Gabriel, do you see?"

I shift to my auric sight. A dulled silver mist floats up the stairs. "Grey."

Violet's eyes light up and she darts up the steps.

"We can't just go without—"

"I have to see him, Gabriel." She says as she jogs up the stairs. "Please understand. I can't wait another minute. You can go tell the others, I don't care."

I look to where Dash was, but I can't see anyone with glasses. The lights have dimmed for a band to play. The crowd at the bar begins to spread across the floor, making it even harder to spot Alex and Dash. Shit. I clutch the banister. "I'm coming with you."

She's already nearing the top of the stairs. I follow her up. The live music begins to vibrate under foot. Alex is going to be pissed and everything seems more dangerous without Dash by my side. They'll worry about Violet for sure. I never needed a cell phone. I wish at this moment I had one.

I follow closely behind her down a narrow corridor. I concentrate to see the silver auric trail end at a particular door. It doesn't feel right.

"Violet, what if Alex is right?" My stomach feels sick.

It's seems she didn't hear me. She clutches the door knob and hesitantly raises her fist to knock. She had to have heard me. She's ignoring me. She knocks and the sound makes my body stiffen. Should I run and get Alex and Dash? What if he's inside?

"I guess he's not here." She says disappointingly.

A sigh of relief escapes my mouth. I don't have to defend her from her crazy ex-boyfriend. An adult telepathic Hybrid living above a bar is probably a scary guy; more threatening than Eric Anderson. I think Dash said he has tattoos too. I'd definitely get crushed.

"How are we supposed to get in?"

She's probably regretting leaving Alex who would just break the door. Dash would probably take a part the whole damn handle. I reach in my pocket and whip out my lock picking tools.

"There were times when I needed shelter when the weather was bad." Gabriel says softly. "I never thought I'd have to use them again."

"Hopefully this will be the last," she smiles. "Thank you."

It takes a few seconds before the distinct clicking sound tells me the door is unlocked. Violet pushes it open to a small dark room. We step inside.

Scarlet dust hovers in the air like a thin mist. The origin of the trail seems to be coming from the corner of the room. "Um... Violet?" She's not listening. She's heading straight to the dark corner where the red aura emanates.

The sound of metal on metal squeaking echoes through the room. "Caw! Caw! Caw!" The bird doesn't sound right. The call sounds stressed. It makes me want to cover my ears. I feel the wall and find the light switch.

There he is; a large crow crammed in a small swinging birdcage. I recognize him. His kaleidoscope eyes shine brightly while his weak aura pulses like a dimming light bulb. His feathers are ruffled. He looks like he has a broken leg dangling between the cage bars. Blood drips off the edge collecting in a small red puddle beneath it.

Violet whimpers.

"Red?" She approaches frantically. The crow squawks sounds like it's crying out like baby birds do when they've fallen out of their nest. They make those horrible sounds because they know they're going to die.

My backside alerts me; someone is too close. Before I can turn around, a painful knock to my head makes my vision light up like a camera flash. My body hits the floor with Violet's scream ringing in his ears.

***

Violet

A tattooed arm locks across my neck and a hand muffles my mouth. His body closes in from behind. A familiar chill creeps slowly up my spine. Grey is strong and his grip tightens as I try to push away. My body gives way to the floor as my energy is stolen from me. I'm a doll in his arms once again.

Grey sniffs my hair and my neck.

My eyes focus to see him. "Grey..." I say weakly.

He lets go and my body collapses to the floor.

"Your little friend here looks an awful lot like Red." Grey's black boot kicks Gabriel's leg, but he's knocked out.

Red squawking is deafening. The metal squeaking is torture to my ears.

"Shut the fuck up!" Grey hits the cage. It swings from its chain. "I've tried killing him." He kneels beside me. His face looks worn and foreign eyes are as cold as granite. He's the Grey that tried to hurt me once. He was so angry with me for kissing Red, he almost violated me. Now he's furious. Now, he knows that I love Red. There's no denying it.

"I tried setting him on fire, tried ripping his wings off, I shot him, stabbed him hoping he'd bleed to death, but he just won't die." He sneers. Those toxic eyes look so unfamiliar, so insane. His menacing smile waits for me to respond. I cover my mouth at the sight of Red reduced to an injured animal. All this time he was here, in that cage. The thought of Red enduring the agony of all those things makes me furious enough to stand up. I hold my shivering body up by leaning against the wall. Grey took so much energy from me I can barely stand on my own.

"Oh, tough now, are we?" He snickers. "Don't worry about him. He's caused more pain to me then you will ever know." He snatches my arms with his icy hands and placing them at my sides. I try to clench my fists and pull back, but I'm starting numb. He pulls me from the wall and throws my down on his bed.

Red squawks and the cage swings.

"Fuck you!" Grey throws a book at the cage. What is Red saying? He gives Red another stare and Red stops his noise. There's no telling what this Grey will do.

He climbs on top of me. His noxious stare corrupts my will. Great satisfaction curling his lips as his cold energy spreads across my body, sweeping my skin just like the he did on his bedroom floor.

"How old are you now?" He examines my face. "You're not so young anymore." His smile grows deviously from ear to ear. The crow in the cage is making an awful lot of noise.

"Why did you do this to Red?" I whimper.

"He ripped my heart out." His forehead wrinkles.

"He saved your life. He's given you everything."

"Only to take it away." He growls.

"This isn't like you. Where's the Grey I know and love?"

"He's fucking gone. Don't you get it?" He caresses my cheek with his icy finger. "Who you were in love with died when you chose him. If you even were in love with me."

"I still love my Grey."

With those words, the darkness recedes from his face like a fog lifting. Clear gray eyes gaze back at me. His silver aura shimmers without anything clouding it. For a moment, he's here with me—my best friend; my lover; my Grey. I smile. It's been so long since I've seen his face. I've dreamt of him every night since he left.

"You still love me?" His gray eyes tear and the corners of his mouth twitches.

"Get off her you son of a bitch!" Grey is pulled off of me. Alex stands at the foot of the bed looking down at him. His murky aura returns quickly.

Grey tackles his legs and Alex hits the floor hard.

"Stop fighting!" I try to prop my weakened body up.

Dash is helping Gabriel to his feet. They back away from Grey and Alex rolling around on the floor.

"Red!" I point to the squawking crow. Dash nods. Gabriel starts picking the lock. His hands are trembling so much he keeps dropping the pins.

Grey straddles Alex with his hands firmly around his neck. "Grey, no!" Violet shouts. "Stop it! You'll kill him."

"That's the idea." Grey grinds his teeth.

This can't be happening. This isn't Grey. My Grey isn't a killer, but there he is, with his hands wrapped around Alex's neck. Red is nearly dead. Alex was right—he dangerous. It's strenuous inching to the edge of the bed. It feels like my muscles are still asleep. How am I going to stop him? Tears blur my vision. "Grey, please!"

Dash takes a wooden chair and swings it hard over Grey's back. I feel the pain twinge at the bottom of my spine. His hands loosen from around Alex's neck. Alex gasps for air.

Grey rises off Alex and stands before Dash.

"Grey, stop!"

My plead falls on deaf ears. Grey's fist plunges into Dash's stomach, sending him the floor.

I clench the bed sheets as he eyes Gabriel trying to pick the lock. His trembling hands drop the pins to the floor when Grey takes the broken chair leg as a weapon.

The feeling of the floor is nonexistent beneath my feet, only pins and needle sensations tingle throughout my body. There's no way I can stop him. There's nothing I can do except for beg. I feel so powerless.

"Grey, he's my friend." My out stretched hand reaches for him. I can't imagine what he'll do to Gabriel's thin body. "Please, please, don't hurt him."

"Your friend?" Grey raises an eye brow. "They just want to take you away from me like Red did. I don't think you can have friends like these." Grey aims the chair leg at Gabriel. "This one here is about to piss his pants."

Gabriel backs away like a frightened animal. What have I gotten us into? Why did Red want these poor boys to face Grey?

"They are my friends." I shiver in desperation.

"Red used to be your friend." Grey approaches me. It's a relief he's not near Gabriel but I'm anxious he'll flip again. His knuckles turning white from gripping the chair leg so tightly. "He's not your friend now is he?"

I look pass Grey. Alex and Dash are still on the floor. Gabriel is cowering in the corner. Red is squawking so loudly I wonder what he is saying.

"Answer me!"

My body shakes with his shouting.

"Say it!"

I rise off the bed. If I could just look him in the eyes and reconnect with him again, my Grey will understand. My Grey never forgot I still love him too.

"I love him....but I love you too."

He shakes his head in disbelief. "You can't love both of us." Grey pushes me into the wall. "There isn't room for both." His hand slips under my shirt and press over my beast. His fingers dig into my flesh.

"Grey, it hurts." My hand covers his.

"Not as much as you hurt me. You know what it's like to know, feel, see your soul mate love another? How much they love each other?" His teeth grind. "How long you've loved each other—it haunts more than anything."

His eyes are too painful to look at. I can't turn away from them, they tell the truth. Red has been in my life for a long time and we share a deep love for one another. I love Red, but it's also true that I love Grey. If he's hurting this much, I should be punished. It's my fault he's turned out this way. I've hurt a loved one and he's tortured Red and he's tortured himself, all this time because of me.

"I'm sorry—" I gasp. It's hard to breathe. My chest tightens.

"That's what it feels like—a broken heart." Grey applies more pressure. If he doesn't stop, my ribs will be crushed.

An arm comes between us. A hand grabs Grey's wrist. The instant warmth takes over the chill in my bones and puts strength into my limbs. Grey's hands are pulled away and a body blocks my view of Grey. A familiar sensation pulls me forward. My body meets up with the disarmer's back. I lean into the strong red aura—Red, I whimper. I press my hands on his shoulder blades, but the form is too low to be Red's.

Gabriel stares intently at Grey. Grey backs away shaking his hand of Gabriel's touch as if it were hot.

"You have no right to make her feel bad."

"You're like _him_." Grey sneers. "No wonder." I retract my hands from Gabriel. I know what it looks like. He knows what I feel. He knows everything in my head. Gabriel feels like Red. Grey glares at Gabriel in disgust. His fingers grasp the chair leg and raises in the air. "Violet can't have friends—especially one like you."

Gabriel's body goes stiff. The warm aura he emitted is sucked away like a vacuum.

"Gabriel, get away!" I try to push him away but he's got me pinned to the wall.

The chair leg flies out of Grey's hand and hovers above us. Grey turns around and Dash has his hand up.

"Get away from them." Dash's fingers flex and the same time the sharp wooden spikes of the broken chair leg threaten to take out Grey's eye.

"Gabriel." Dash summons Gabriel forward. I grip the bedpost so I don't obey his gravity. For every step Gabriel takes toward Grey, Grey takes one back, cautiously eyeing him and Dash's weapon.

"He's got a knife in his pocket." Alex rises to his feet.

A folded knife flies out of pocket and into Dash's hand. "The closet." He says to Gabriel.

"You're going to let your so-called friends do this?" Grey glares at me.

I don't know what to say. He won't listen to me.

The lock on the cage rattles before bending like taffy and falling to the floor.

Alex removes his jacket and goes to the squawking crow. Blood spills out on to the floor as he frees Red from his prison.

"Careful." I quickly limp my way to Alex. His jacket is absorbing the blood quickly. I cover my mouth. There's so much blood around the pile of black feathers; it's hard to tell it's a crow.

"You came for him not me." Grey's voice trembles with such anguish it tears my heart apart. It's true, I came for Red, but I wanted to talk to Grey. I have so many questions, but he was being so unreasonable. Right now, all I want is for Red stop bleeding.

"You don't want me, you want him." Grey backs up into the closet.

"Vi," Alex touches my shoulder. "We need to get him out of here, now!" Alex looks to Dash. Dash nods.

I stare down at the pitiful bird and then back at Grey. "We can still talk." Grey pleads.

"You had your chance." Gabriel shuts the closet door. Dash places the rest of the broken chair under the handle.

"He should come with us." I approach the closet.

Alex pulls my shoulder back. "Are you crazy!" He shouts. "The guy will kill us all."

"Violet!" The closet handle jiggles.

I don't want to leave him like this. His mind is confused, like two parts of him are battling. This has happened before. He just needs time to cool off. My heart is torn in half by the two I love the most in this world. If Red were okay, he'd know what to do, but Red is... My eyes suddenly can't see through the tears. My body is getting too heavy for my legs.

I hear him calling my name over and over. The voice I've longed to hear again is screaming my name. We just need to talk; connect.

Alex takes me arm.

"Violet!"

I'm pulled from the room.

"Violet!"

He's locked away in the closet, just like my Grey is locked away in that body. That other Grey hurt the boys and hurt Red. That other Grey hurt me and is keeping my Grey prisoner. This is what heartbreak made him do. This is what I did to him. The sound of him banging on the closet door, calling out my name can't be the last thing I hear of him. He needs my help. I need to make this right. I still love him.

"Grey..." I feel dizzy. There are a number of hands taking me away from the one I love. His voice is crying out now in such heart ripping agony, it poisons my ears. My body falls weak like I've been injected with venom— _My Grey's_ call for help.

"Violet! Violet! Violet! Don't leave me!"

## Chapter Thirty-Seven

Violet

Re-entering the Sanctuary is a nightmare. A storm blows hard enough to knock us over and the torrential rain floods the lake, making a muddy mess wherever we step. The storm is Red's tangible pain and it hurts us all. The icy rain and wind stings my skin as I cradles the helpless crow wrapped in Alex's jacket as close to me without hurting him.

"What's happening?" Gabriel calls out over the storm.

"The Sanctuary is reacting to Red." Dash tries to cover his face from the rain beating him.

"Alex!" I lose my balance. He catches me, leaving his hand on the middle of my back to steady me. I'm still getting my bearings on my legs after my energy was stolen.

When we make it to the cabin, I remove the broken crow from the jacket. I whimper at the blood that soaked through to my drenched shirt. Losing all this blood from a bird, how is he still alive.

"He said he's fine and to put him in his room," Alex rakes his wet hair back.

I place Red on his bed. He squawks in pain and he can't sit right like a crow should. His body flops on its side. His claws try to grasp the air. A wing unfurls lazily from his little body. The bleeding wounds reveal his fleshy organs, spilling from his gut. I cover my mouth in horror before I cry out for him.

"Oh, my God!" I sob. Alex catches me when my knees buckle.

"Violet, you can't be here."

I push him away and kneel beside the bed, trying to grab sheets to surround Red. I know it's a poor attempt to make him comfortable. What can I do? I have to do something. This is my fault he's like this.

Alex, with Dash's help, grabs my arms and drags me out of the room. Gabriel locks the door so I can't get in.

"What are you doing?! He needs me! Let go!" I thrash. "Let me go!"

"Hey look at me." Alex cups my face tightly. "He said he has to regain his strength before he can change back. You need to leave him, okay? Do you understand?"

"But he's hurting."

"I know, but he'll be fine." Alex's shaky voice doesn't reassure me. "Just give him space okay?"

I don't respond. I still feel the overwhelming need to help him. I need to fix this. Alex embraces me tightly. I sob uncontrollably in his wet shirt. The night's event replays through my mind. Grey's hatred for Red; Red suffering—how is he still alive? Red... Red... my mind is a reel of pain. I'm lifted and cradled on the sofa and slowly I'm calmed by the rocking motion.

"You can't touch her like that." I hear Dash say. "She's too open."

I press ear listens to Alex's deep voice say, "I don't care." His hands hold me closer.

***

Violet

I wake to find Alex's arms wrapped protectively around me. He's asleep and his face is so close to mine, I can feel his breathing at my temple. I move his heavy arms from across my chest and wiggle away. Something is on my legs. Dash fell asleep slumped over my thigh with his arm woven through my legs. Gabriel is in Red's chair, well away from our tangled bodies. He looks like Red only much younger. I remove Dash's hands from my body and slide away without waking them. I carefully go to Red's room. The door is unlocked.

Red changed back. His blood-stained bed sheets barely cover his discolored body. I approach and sees how severely battered he is. He's breathing harder than normal and is holding his side. His eyes crack open and the tiny bit of eye I see isn't the blue, but black. I kneel without disturbing the bed.

Red says nothing. His labored breathing and non-existent aura are heart wrenching. I reach for his hand which doesn't respond to my touch. His cold hand has no feeling, no power, and no pull. I take his dead hand and bring it to my face. I kiss it and rub it along my cheek. I close my eyes remembering the last moment before he left. His magnetic touch when he caressed my face was warm and alive. He loved me. He's always loved me.

"I love you, Red. Please don't leave me again." I sob.

His finger moves ever so slightly.

"What are you doing?"

Gabriel's voice startles me. I know the sound of jealousy. "Go back to bed, Gabriel." I'm a little angry he ruined the moment.

"You're aura's covering him."

"Gabriel—"

"It's clinging to him as if he's wearing your aura like pajamas. The color is different than usual; blue and lavender. I think it's... helping him."

"Try placing your hand on his ribs." Dash walks in behind him rubbing his sleepy eyes.

I look to Red who blinks. I place my hands on his ribs and he immediately inhale deeply, and his eyes wince in pain. I want to pull away. I maybe I'm hurting him. His breathing normalizes. I want to move my hand elsewhere. I look to Dash.

"Keep to his torso." Dash sits beside me and places his hand on mine showing me where to keep them. "Work your way out from there."

I do what I'm told around the wounded areas, his skin clears up and his wounds starts to shrink. His body is looking less like a bruised apple.

"How do you know about this?" I turn to Dash as I place my hand over his heart.

"I don't know. When I look at him I feel like Alex, only it's not his thoughts I read; it's him telling me in a different way. I can look at him and I know. It's so weird."

"Maybe you have a connection with him in a different way." I smile.

"I don't even know him. But I think you're right."

"When he's better you'll be closer."

Dash sheds a tear.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." Dash pushes up his glasses.

"It's not nothing." Alex enters the room. "He's afraid like the rest of us."

"Shut up for once, Alex." Dash wipes his wet face.

"Afraid? He's looking much better than before." I caress Red's skin.

"Not Red."

"Shut up, Alex!"

"You shut up!"

"We'll have a chance to talk later."

"We're not going to have a chance to talk about it when he wakes. You know it. We're finished here!" Alex leaves the room.

"Dash, what is he talking about?"

Dash bows his head, hiding his face in his hands. The terrace doors rattle. "Dash, you're doing it again." I place my hand on his shoulder to comfort him. He jumps to his feet. "I-I'm sorry I just need some air." He runs out the room.

"He's afraid of losing you." Gabriel stands at the far end of the room. His eyes seem to purposefully avoid Red. "Things will change."

"Losing me?" I look to Red whose eyes are closed and breathing sounds like he's asleep. I wonder if he's listening. "Dash shouldn't be afraid." I place my palm upon Red's cheek. "When he's better, he'll fix everything. Things will be better for everyone. He'll help each of us. We have so much to learn from him."

"It's not that, Violet. It's not that at all," Gabriel says.

"What do you mean?" I look to Gabriel, but he's left the room.

***

Gabriel

Maybe it's me. I'm too afraid the alpha male will kick me out. If I hide, maybe Red will forget I'm living in his home. Who am I kidding? Now that he's awake, I can't face the man who will see every thought I had about his girlfriend. Not to mention I kissed her and pursued her.

I want to talk to Violet, but she's preoccupied with him, she probably forgot I live here too.

Red is sitting up in his bed, able to move his head and turn his body on his own. That is too much. Even though he's silent, it doesn't stop from Violet rabbling on and on about what's happened. I tried being in the same room, but I'm unworthy to be in his presence. I stay away from him as his residence grows within the Sanctuary. When he spots me peeking from the door crack, I run back to my room like a scolded child. He's too significant to look at. Those eyes will know my secrets if I let them linger on me. His greatness is something I can never contend with.

I keep to my room because he's all over the cabin, putting an unreasonable fear into me. He isn't even walking or talking and his power strengthens with every touch Violet places on his perfect body. She will never look at me the way she looks at Red. I'm a filthy thing she let in to his home. Maybe I'm to be exterminated.

Alex and Dash stop by but their visits are short. They don't to stay long. It seems Red is too much for them too.

Violet is so pleased and even trance-like as Red finally recovers enough to stand. She worships him. I know because it's happened to me. He has that aura about him that's ten times more attractive than my own. I often wonder if I can persuade Violet, then Red must be able to do the same. Is she under his spell?

I want to pass the time quickly by writing about Red's recovery. I stare at the leather bound journal contemplating whether I should pick up the pen or not.

Violet's cry alerts me.

Peeking out from my bedroom door Red sends Violet and her things out of his room. She's crying her eyes out, carrying a few things she's kept in his room. She makes her way to a door down the adjacent hallway. I think the room is a closet from how small it is. She drops her things on the floor and falls to her knees. I can hear her sobbing. It only makes me angry how Red is treating her after all she's done for him. The light in Red's room goes out.

Violet crawls to Grey's door and upon opening it she cries hysterically. She doesn't have a room and Grey's room is too painful to sleep in. Does he expect her to sleep in there?

I'd offer my bed but I'm afraid he'll punish me for helping her from whatever reason he's dismissing her. I don't know what to do. I feel like a coward closing the door, listening to her cry.

I keep to my bed; unable to bring myself to help Violet. I stare at the ceiling for a long time. I can't sleep.

A knock at the door startles me. I don't want to leave my bed. I don't want Red to come in. I don't want to leave my room.

Dash opens the door and lets a fresh air escapes in with him.

"It's late." I contain my excitement to see him but he could probably tell.

"Sorry. I couldn't sleep." Dash drops his backpack and closes the door.

"Did you see Violet? Is she alright?"

"She's sleeping on the couch." Dash approaches the bed. "I was going to sleep on the loveseat..." He eyes me.

I move over on my bed. It was instant. I give it a second thought as his weight settles beside me. For a moment, if feels like it's the Josh situation all over again. The only thing that's different is I want Dash next to me. I don't want to be alone with Red home.

"Do you feel it?" I ask.

Dash nods. "I know you feel it more. I'm sorry I can't do anything about it."

I like that he always wants to remedy everything. It's probably why I feel comforted by him. It's been days since we talked.

"Your aura is held in so tightly. I can barely feel a vibration."

"I'm scared he'll want me to leave. I can feel him watching me. I can feel him everywhere. He can destroy me."

"Why do you say that? He invited us."

I rest my head back on my pillow. "He knows everything about me—everything. I'm a threat to Violet."

Dash's sigh is not reassuring. He removes his glasses and rests his head on the pillow beside me.

"What's going to happen to me? I don't want to be separated from her, but I don't think I want to watch them as a couple either."

"Give it time." Dash turns on his side to face me. "What you're feeling is his power gaining back quickly. You might be overwhelmed by that. I don't think he's a threat to you like you think. As far as what he knows about you, I think he'll help."

Dash leans closer. The warmth of another body feels like heaven; not my mother, not Josh, not Violet—it's Dash of all people. After all this time, lying with him in my bed, I feel at home. The combination of a friend to talk to and a pleasant place to sleep is heaven. I don't want to leave it.

"Promise me no matter what happens we'll stay... friends." I turn my head and Dash is closer than I thought.

"I promise." His lips say the words gently as his intense dark eyes say something else.

## Chapter Thirty-Eight

Gabriel

I feel out of place in my room. Being with Dash last night helped me forget about everything, at least for a while. Red must know what we were doing. He must have seen Dash leave for school this morning. I want to write about how I feel but using the things Red gave me to write with feels wrong. Will he take away the journal that was gifted to me? There's so much about Violet in it; things another guy shouldn't say about another guy's girlfriend.

I want to pass the time quickly, but I can't bring myself to do anything. I'm a prisoner. Dash told me it's my own doing. Maybe he's right.

My head prickles and I'm startled out of my chair. I search the room for someone but there's no one. My gut tells me Red wants to see me. The idea gives me a headache. I look at my door. Is he on the other side?

I go to check. I peek out of the crack of my door and find Red on the first floor, gazing out of the window. He's standing on his two feet without any help. Violet is on the sofa sleeping again. She seems to sleep more often than she should. I bet that's Red's doing.

His colorful flickering eyes dart up in my direction. I've been caught spying. I can't take my eyes away. A weird sensation like a string tied to my core tightens as Red moves away from the window with his eyes glued to mine.

Gabriel.

I gasp and close the door and the string feeling disappears. His voice is like it was in my dream. He's real and he wants to talk to me. I can't face him. I back away from the door. I hope he won't come to my room, even if it is his Sanctuary.

I need to get out of here.

I climb out of my window to escape the cabin. The leader's presence is still strong enough to make me sick, but I'm able to curb the reaction. Being outside is a great relief. I miss the warmth and nature. I spin around to make sure he's not following me.

I sit by the lake's edge facing the cabin, just in case he decides to come out. I can get a head start and run. I snap some sticks and throw them in to the water. Some sink and others float. If I run, will I run away for good? No, I can't. Maybe I'll go into the Black forest. Violet would hate that.

"Violet." Her name rolls off my tongue like a song.

If I feel like this, what does Violet feel? I'm concerned with her happiness. Hearing her cry is hard. Being afraid to help is harder. I miss the conversations we had and her laughter. I wish she'd come to see me in my room and talk to me. Instead, she sits by herself waiting for Red's door to open.

Red locks himself in his room all day and night. I wonder sometimes if Red ever eats or uses the bathroom. What does he do anyway? Dash says he writes like I do. What does he write about?

Maybe he writes about Violet too. I don't see why if he has her. Maybe he's angry or sad and he writes about that? What does he have to be upset about? The guy has everything. Violet waits at his door like a slave. She's under his control. That's what it looks like. The idea sickens me.

The floating twigs in the lake are slowly circling. From the corner of my eye Alex and Dash walk in from the gate. I've missed them.

"What's up?" Alex says as they sit beside me.

I try not to smile as Dash's leg presses against mine. I quickly refocus before I disgust Alex.

"Red isn't at all what I expected him to be. I can't think of anyone else's shoes I'd rather be in. Violet loves him. But the way he's treating her, he's become such a disappointment."

"Disappointing, huh?"

"He ignores her. She practically throws herself at him and he pushes her away."

"Is he angry?" Alex asks.

"I don't understand why?" Dash pushes up his glasses.

"He's treating her like an annoying child." I snap a twig in half.

"Kinda how she treats us," Alex sighs.

"So, what's happened?" Dash asks.

"He won't let her near him. He doesn't even talk to her. He treats her like she's not here."

"He's not her boyfriend." Dash's words bring my heart to a flutter. "I think she's still infatuated with him."

"Sounds familiar?" Alex says also looking briefly at Gabriel.

"Oh come on." Gabriel throws another twig in the water. "I'm not the only one who likes her." I glance at the cabin and then back at the lake. "I just don't want him treating her like shit."

Alex winces. "Watch what you say about him. He's a telepath remember. Besides it's kinda his place. I'm glad he's here. I was hoping he could teach me a few things about my telepathy. Frankly, I don't mind that he pushes her away. It's nice that maybe she doesn't have a boyfriend."

"Well, I don't like it." Gabriel's fingers snap a stick.

Alex and Dash look at each other.

"Just don't mess with him. I'm pretty sure you'd lose." Alex says.

"It's not that I don't like him... I don't know. Now that he's around, I don't exist to Violet." I throw my broken sticks into the lake. "Violet doesn't think twice about anyone else. I had a feeling that was going to happen. I don't like to see her unhappy. It's painful." I rub his forehead. "He's... scary."

"I don't think he means to hurt her. But I don't think he intends to be with her either." Why does everything Dash says, a surprise to me? I meet his eyes with this new revelation. "He wants to fix what happened between the three of them." Dash continues. "I read in his journal that Grey was meant for her."

"Meant for her?" I shake my head snapping another twig. "That's bullshit."

"Wish I could confirm that. I tried to read Red, but he's locked like Fort Knox. Wish I could do that. I feel like an open book when I'm around him." Alex says.

"Join the club." Dash says.

"Maybe Grey's out of the picture for good. He's truly more fucked up than you, Gabriel." Alex says.

"Thanks." I bow my head.

"If I were Red and Grey's out of the picture, then I'd take Violet." Alex says.

"Why is he pushing her away?" Gabriel says.

"He's the Guardian. It's his job to protect us." Dash says disappointingly. "He can't be with her, it's forbidden."

"What?" I perk my head up.

"No shit. Are you serious?" Alex's eyes widen. "That's awesome!"

The prickling feeling spreads around my head again. "You feel that?" I drag my fingers through my hair.

Dash and Alex rub their heads too.

"It's Red." Alex looks to the cabin. "He wants to talk to us."

"He must have heard us." Dash frowns.

"Great. Time to pack my backpack."

***

Violet

One by one they're called into Red's room. Each one comes out more distressed than when they went in. Without talking to each other and without a glance at one another, they go to separate areas of the living room. Alex is looking out of the window biting his fingernails and zoning out into the glass. Gabriel is face down on the sofa with his face mushed into a pillow. Dash sits on the stair with his head down between his knees. What did Red say for such worrisome auras? I'm finally called in and I'm relieved. He hasn't said a word to me yet.

The atmosphere in Red's bedroom feels dramatically different. There's heaviness to the air and his strong presence takes residence again. The light pours through the terrace door but he rests just out of the sun's ray. His black clothing blends cleanly into the shadow. His belt shines as he moves out of the darkness and into the stream of light, revealing his unreadable gorgeous face. His eyes are flashing in a kaleidoscope of color, a clue that his emotions are hidden away behind those Guardian eyes. I long for the Red in my memories to appear as I remember; his voice to speak to me; his eyes to turn back to the lovely sapphire color I loved since I was a child; his arms to embrace me once more so we can be together forever.

"Sit."

The stern sound of him brings back so many memories but not the right ones. I've been scolded by this tone before. I sit in his chair at his writing desk. I'm in awe of him even if he seems not pleased. My dark angel stands tall and majestic before me. I want to reach out to him. I inch to the edge of my seat.

"You'll have to leave tomorrow."

I wait for the words to translate into something endearing; something different, but instead the words sink in deep to the pit of my stomach. Uninvited tears flood the rim of my eyes. I'm terrified of what the words mean. Maybe I heard him wrong.

Red's stoic expression is an indication of the nightmarish meaning of those words. They unfold in my mind. His arctic stare stabs me without a single spark of warmth, cutting into me. My heart is now bleeding out. What have I done to deserve such a cold Red.

"I don't understand," I whimper.

Red is emotionless. There must be a reason for the icy demeanor.

"Red?"

"Arrangements have been made. You'll be on your own." He says this while looking me in the eyes.

I sob, confirming my understanding of what he means. He's decided to throw me away. "I have to leave? What arrangements? I-I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you did everything right. I thank you for that." Red steps into the sunlight, but he's so luridly unsettling that even the sun can't erase the darkness he emanates. His overwhelming strength is hotter than the sun; more commanding than I've ever felt him before. "Your leave is what's best for everyone. You need time, Violet. We all need time. This is my solution."

"Solution? Am I a problem?"

He doesn't answer. I sob, waiting for his eyes to turn back to blue, his face to soften, but the Guardian is overruling his human side. "The boys?"

"I will keep my promises to them."

Promises?

He turns his back on me, receding into the shade. "You'll need to pack tonight. The sooner you go the sooner you can be."

Be what? I can't form another word.

"Just be, Violet." He turns his head slightly. "You may go."

I take a step toward him. Alex wraps his arms around me. He pulls me away as if Red summoned him to do so. I reach out to Red, but Alex drags me out. I wrestle in his arms. "Let go of me! Please, don't do this! Please, don't do this!"

Dash and Gabriel stand helplessly crying in the living room. Were they ordered to do nothing?

"Violet, calm down!" Alex continues to drag me to Grey's room, where he lets go. My body collapse to the floor. Alex kneels beside me. "Violet—"

"Go away!" I curl up into a ball on the rug Grey once touched me—the fur rug Red held me safely in his arms. My fingers dig into the soft fur. His embrace—will I ever feel his love again?

## Chapter Thirty-Nine

Violet

I open the door a crack. The boys are sitting except Gabriel who's pacing. I've never heard Gabriel shout before. "This is ridiculous. There's nothing out there." Gabriel stops to face Alex who sitting on the sofa with his arms crossed and Dash with his head down. "She can't go. Grey will go after her."

"Red will watch her. He said it was for the best." Alex sounds confident as usual.

"He's fucking out of his mind to let her go," Gabriel shouts.

"Gabriel, your voice," Dash raises his head.

"I don't care if he hears me," Gabriel growls.

"Keep it down for Violet's sake," Dash sighs. "Have faith that Red knows what's best."

"Why?" Gabriel voice trembles. "Anything she does out there she can do in here. Is it because of me?" Gabriel rubs his elbow.

Poor Gabriel; he always thinks everything is his fault.

"Red says she needs the time on her own to grow." Dash says softly. "I agree with that. She hasn't experienced the real world on her own. Red said it's necessary. She needs something linear."

Linear?

"It will be good for her."

What else did Red tell them?

Gabriel shakes his head. "I don't believe this. It looks like he could care less what happens to her. It's obvious he doesn't want her." Gabriel's words hang in the air. Dash and Alex are unable to hide the hopelessness on their faces. They want me to stay.

I shut the door. It's obvious he doesn't want her... Could Gabriel be right? Has Red changed his mind? Maybe he doesn't want me. Maybe I'm too much trouble. Maybe that's the real reason why I have to leave.

A knock at the door makes me jump back.

"Vi, it's me." Alex says. "I know you heard us."

I let him in with tears streaming down my face.

"I'm sorry." Alex says. His amber eyes glisten in the light. He's holding back. He looks to my bed where my packed bags sit.

"I'll get them." He walks pass me. "So this is your room..."

"Yeah, my room." I turn to Alex. The empty room I hadn't seen since Red and Grey left had come back just for me to leave it again.

"You know, it won't be forever, Vi"

"Did Red tell you that?"

"Not exactly."

The little hope for ever living in the Sanctuary again is doused. I leave the cabin with Alex close behind. Red and the others stand outside. Dash stares down at the dirt and Gabriel hides in his hoodie. I worry that Red's unreadable face seems to be the only face I get to see. It's just as terrible as Grey's cry for me, which I'm haunted by.

We begin our walk to the gate. Alex places his hand on my shoulder, but his warmth doesn't reassure me anything. The sight of Red's back to mine feels so uninviting. I stare at the side where he bled and I healed him. Those arms at his sides wrapped around me once, will they ever again? We pass the lake reflecting the clear sky. There is no sign of an unhappy Red. Is he not sad to see me go?

I turn to see Dash and Gabriel dragging their feet. They don't want this either. Gabriel looks up briefly and the sight of tears on his cheek brings me to tears. This isn't fair. Alex walks at my side. His golden hair and his amber eyes bring a small smile to my face. His warm smile says it's okay. But is it? What will I do by myself? Who will help me out there? I'll be alone again and that's so frightening.

Red halts at the gate. His eyes are blue but don't hold that special sweetness. Why is he doing this?

I know what comes next. I have to say goodbye to my new friends so soon. Their somber faces look back at me. It tears my heart to pieces.

Gabriel resorts to disapprovingly crossing his arms. His twisted mouth is the only thing I can see. I don't want it to be that last thing I see of that beautiful boy.

"Gabriel."

He unfurls his arms and removes his hood. His face softens for me and his eyes grow expectant. I turn to Red for approval to approach. He shakes his head. I can't touch him and he can't touch me. Looking back at Gabriel, our eyes lock. He begs for something, anything. I approach anyway.

"Violet." Red's cold deep voice warns me with a chill up my spine.

I stop in my tracks. I mouth to him I'm so sorry. Gabriel turns to Red with a resentful glare.

Red sighs. He's touch me before. What's one more hug going to do? Gabriel goes to move to me but Red stops him and pulls him back. Gabriel yanks free of Red's hand. For a moment It feels like the pressure in the atmosphere changes. Red's blue eyes flicker darkly.

"But he's hurting," Violet says.

Red says nothing.

Gabriel scornful eyes Red as another reason to resent him makes his list.

My heart aches for a proper goodbye as Gabriel places his hood back on. He quickly walks away heading straight for the Black forest.

"Gabriel." I whimper. Gabriel runs until he disappears into the forest.

He'll be fine. Alex tries to soothe.

Dash stands with his hands in his pocket. He looks as awkward as the day I first met him. But behind the glasses his hidden olive-green eyes meet mine and I can see he holds so much inside of him. Red will help him bring that out. I go to him and I don't hesitate to embrace him. He trembles. I squeeze him tighter. A tiny whimper and kiss on his cheek before I pull away. His cheeks are flaming red. He quickly places his hands in his pockets and his body stiffens again.

"Goodbye Dash."

He blinks and his tears fall down his cheek. "Bye."

"Violet." Red's voice is softer than it has been. The hardness in his eyes are been replaced with sadness. He takes my hand pulls me closer but it's not close enough. I want to fall in his arms. I want an embrace, but he keeps me at arm's length, ignoring everyone that's watching. I melt instantly. "You'll always be a part of this family. You will always be part of me. I'll never leave you." He strokes my cheek, "But you must understand I want you to grow."

All the doubts vanished. He loves me still. I can see it; feel it under my skin. I smile up at him. He wants me to see people, life, he wants me to live, to work and play. "How long?"

"However long it takes." His lips kiss my forehead gently. The energy serge is more like lighting striking my skin; a fast burn and a pleasurable after shock. I forgot what I was sad about. His kiss sends me waves of comfort. I refocus.

"What about Grey?"

"Don't worry about him. I will be watching over you. You'll be protected." He sweeps hair from my face with an adoring smile. "Grey will be protected."

It's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Alex picks up my suitcases, displaying a curious smile. It isn't a goodbye smile. His lips curl as if he can't wait to tell my something. His amber eyes widen with excitement. I can't help but smile back. His happiness is contagious but not lasting. The emptiness inside of my chest is growing by the second. I'll need another kiss from Red, but that will be impossible.

"Come on I've been assigned to show you your new place."

I look to Red who nods. With one last look at Dash, Red and the beautiful Sanctuary as the backdrop behind them, I can't help but wonder how long will it be until I see it again? It seems in the back of my mind I won't be here for a long time. Enough time for things to change. This makes me sad. When will I see Gabriel smile again? Dash's kindness? Alex's sweetness? Red. When will I see him for more than two days? It doesn't seem fair to leave, yet I feel I have to. The reason is so unclear. Can't I grow in the Sanctuary? I believe that Red has a purpose for me. I trust him. I love him—even after this.

Red's face has become unreadable again. All hints of emotion have vanished from his beautiful face.

One last wave and a kiss to the air for Gabriel, I walk through the gate and out of the mahogany mirror. The Real world. The magic is gone. I can feel the weight on my shoulders get heavier with every step I take behind Alex. Making my way through the building, the pain grows in my chest. Alex stops and turns to me.

"Vi, Look at me." He places my bags down and places his hands on my shoulders. "It's okay. It's going to be okay." His eyes are sincere. He's smiling as usual. "You can do this. You have nothing to be afraid of."

"I'll be alone."

"You'll never be alone."

***

Violet

Alex pulls up in red car I have never seen before. Alex drives? It's strange because I don't remember ever riding in a car. What other things will I do that I don't remember ever doing before. The memory of my past is still lost. I have questions but how will I ask him.

We start moving and Alex takes my hand. It's comforting for a while as the drive across the city, but Alex won't be coming with me. I'll be living alone. I hold on tight until we pull up to an apartment building. After climbing the stairs Alex opens door 22-D. "This is it." Alex places my suitcases on the bed. The studio apartment is small and perfect for me. One room with everything I need, except people. They'll be no one again.

"So you know rents paid first of the month. Red covered five months so you can get settled in a job."

Five months! He expects me to be here five months?

"Here's some important cards, docs you'll need, cash and he opened a bank account for you." Alex let out a long sigh.

Bank account? What do I do with that? What am I supposed to do?

"Violet, it's okay."

It's easy for him to say. He's lived in the real world. I look at his sweet face wondering when will be the next time we'll see each other. We only just met and now I have to say goodbye.

"Just take one day at a time. He'll be watching every step of the way." Alex tilts his head.

I manage a smile but it turns on me. "Okay." I wipe my tears.

"I'm not happy to see you go, Vi. It's just I got a glimpse of what's ahead that's all."

"Glimpse?"

"Red. He shared a few things with me."

"And..."

"And you'll see." His smug face makes me feel a little better. This must be the reason why he's seemed happier than the others. He's not so sad to see me leave.

"Vi, of course I don't want you to go."

I hug him, squeezing the air out of his lungs. "Thank you. I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too. I miss you already." We embrace and I'm glad Red can't tell me that I shouldn't or that we're hugging too long. Alex kisses the top of my head. He hands over the key to my new place.

"Bye, Alex."

He goes to leave but turns around with a curious smile. "No. Sweet Dreams, Violet."

# # #

## About The Author

Amanda Miga lives on Long Island, NY with her husband, John Miga and her two cats Smudge and Cricket. When she's not writing she's watching movies or listening to music, finding inspiration for The Sanctuary series and other fictions in the works.

Connect with Me Online:

Blog: mandyswritingdesk.blogspot.com

Twitter: @MandyMiga

www.smashwords.com/profile/view/mandymiga
