Welcome to this special edition of
"Planet Netherlands" - the Dutch Election
Edition - in which we examine the truly
bizarre nature of dutch self-rule.
In a tiny country of only 17 million people
there are approximately 17 million
different political parties.
Let's take a look at a few.
This is the VVD, the
center-right party currently leading the
Netherlands. Oddly, they have chosen not
to put their party leader on the
campaign poster, but instead this image
of a posing man-child, pretending to be
king - which, as it turns out, is the
perfect description of their party
leader Mark Rutte.
This is the centre-left Labour Party PvdA.
Their slogan was "Samen Vooruit"
or "Forward Together."
And part of that prediction was correct.
"Samen?" No...
"Voor?" No...
"UIT." Ah, yes. That's it.
Next, PVV
the party of Geert Wilders, known as
"The Freedom Party."
Can I be a Muslim? No.
Can I wear a headscarf? No. "Freedom!"
Which is ironic, because if anyone could
benefit from wearing a headscarf,
it's Geert Wilders.
His slogan "Make the Netherlands Ours Again"
turned out to be
"the wrong kind of populism."
"If you don't like it here then you should leave"...
is apparently the Right Kind of Populism.
The CDA are the Christian Democrats.
Their slogan? No slogan. Just the name of
their party leader Sybrand Buma.
Because, like Christianity, it's basically
a cult of personality.
This party has chosen as its symbol
a pair of upturned butt cheeks with a
pink 'sterretje' in the middle.
Hey, it's Dutch.
D66 are the "Democrats of 1966,"
The year of free love, free drugs... and now the
most sober, boring poster imaginable.
GroenLinks are the Green Party, in this
case "green" as in "young." Their party
leader is so young that his slogan
"Vote for change" means that his voice has not
yet changed.
"Plan B - When you only have one vote,"
"We're your second choice."
And "Jezus Leeft,"
or "Jesus Lives," which is promo for a
movie with Zombie Jesus.
And so, as the
Dutch election billboards are taken away,
Dutch voters congratulate themselves on
negotiating an impossibly complicated
range of political parties, ending up
with exactly the same party in charge as
they had before the election.
 
 
 
