[MUSIC]
>> All right.
Here we go, Michelle.
There's coupons because you're gonna
need these probably, it's been a while.
And you push the basket because
nobody's gonna push it for you.
>> [APPLAUSE]
>> CVS of course.
>> [LAUGH]
>> CVS stands for cotton,
vaseline and stuff.
>> No it doesn't.
>> [LAUGH]
>> And-
>> That's not true.
>> It does.
Do you want anything from the-
>> What are these?
>> That's a personalized fan.
>> This is a fan?
>> It seems like it is.
Let's open it and see.
>> [LAUGH]
>> This is new.
Wait, don't!
Ellen, don't open these up in the store.
>> Why not?
What if I don't like it?
Well then let's put it back.
No, don't do that.
>> Do you need coins?
Because there's a Coinstar over there.
Ok?
See this is so good, I'm preparing you.
Let's take a few.
>> There.
>> Ok, put them-
>> Wait!
What if it's- Ok,
what are we gonna do about this money?
This is, we got $21.
>> The first lady is now up to $22.
$24.25.
>> How do you know when it's done?
Wait don't touch anything yet until this.
$45.17.
This isn't cash.
>> This isn't cash.
This is a rip off.
>> [LAUGH]
>> What are we supposed to do?
See, I told you.
You shouldn't have put all
those coins in there.
>> Yeah, yeah, you're right.
>> We should have started with like this.
>> You're right.
Is this the cash voucher?
>> No, no, I know what that is.
This is a debit thing.
>> Do you have a debit card?
>> Ma'am, can you help us?
>> Hi, I'm Michelle.
>> This is Michelle.
>> I'm Sapay.
>> Nice to meet you.
>> What did people, they called you
Michelle before the First Lady?
>> Yes.
>> Okay, Shelley.
We're gonna call her Shelley.
>> [LAUGH]
>> Shelley.
You slide it in, and
then you put your PIN number in.
>> [LAUGH]
>> Turn around.
>> PIN number nine, five-
>> Stop it!
>> [LAUGH]
>> Yeah, it was just hard to cover-
>> Okay, checking?
>> Michelle?
>> [LAUGH]
>> [MUSIC]
>> Wait.
Bernie Sanders.
No.
>> [LAUGH]
>> It's not.
No.
That didn't look like
Bernie Sanders to me.
>> Not at all.
>> No.
You can't get in here.
This is locked.
>> What's so special about this stuff?
We might break it.
>> How do you-
>> I didn't realize they got some.
Let's see.
It doesn't make a noise.
Hello?
Hello?
We need help on aisle 2.
>> [LAUGH]
>> Customer service on aisle two.
Hi!
>> Hi.
>> Good, hi!
How are you?
It's nice to see you.
>> Hi, it's Shelly.
Hi, it's Ellen.
>> There you go.
>> You know what?
Sasha needed some earphones.
I'm gonna get some for her.
How much are these?
I'm just picking up stuff.
What are you doing?
>> I'm just scratching your back.
>> I'm trying to focus.
>> Okay.
>> [LAUGH]
>> Okay, I'm not really itchy.
I am looking for headphones though.
What do you think?
Do you think, could you chill out on
the itching and help me with this here?
>> [LAUGH]
>> Don't scratch him.
>> You know this is,
this is not how you behave in a CVS.
Stop scratching him.
>> [LAUGH]
>> Stop it.
>> He likes it.
>> [LAUGH] It's good.
>> Did that feel good?
>> Yeah, it sure did.
>> It was annoying to me.
>> We are gonna get it cheaper.
[MUSIC]
>> Okay.
>> All right, here we go.
>> Now, do you entertain trick or
treaters at your house?
>> No.
I turn all the lights out
and I-
>> Man.
>> I-
>> You should-
>> Close all drapes.
[MUSIC]
>> All right, magazines.
Let's see, who's on it?
Are you on the cover of anything?
>> Let's see if they have Essence
here, okay?
>> Here I am.
>> There you are, with Rachel.
What are you doing with Rachel?
>> Do you have a magazine
I could be on with you?
>> I thought you were my best friend,
no I have a television show.
>> Here I am here we go.
>> Do you want any of this?
>> Wine in a box.
>> Yep, wine in a box.
>> How does this work?
>> You just
>> How do you get it out of here?
>> Like that.
>> Wait really, where is the tab?
>> Back here.
>> We're not going to open it man.
We need cups.
[LAUGH]
>> Get this one.
>> No.
[LAUGH] That's not a cup,
that's not an official cup to use.
>> I think it is a cup.
>> All right, six weeks after, you can
drink this for six weeks after opening?
You are really not a good
person to shop with.
>> [LAUGH] I'm a great
person to shop with.
>> Does anybody know how
to open wine in a box?
>> How do you open wine in a box?
>> Have you ever had wine in a box?
>> You with the baby, come over here.
You need wine more than anybody,
you have a brand-new baby.
>> So put the cup under so
it doesn't start to pour on the ground.
>> That's a good-
>> And then you just turn it.
>> Turn it.
>> All right.
>> Yep, there you go.
>> Okay, here you go.
Who wants wine?
Anybody, anybody, all right.
>> [LAUGH]
>> That's good, that's good.
What's your name?
>> My name is Jacquelyn.
>> Jacquelyn.
>> Yeah.
>> Sign this.
>> All right, Jacquelyn.
>> Shelly and
I just signed the box of wine for you.
>> You're so nice.
>> Ellen, look at this baby.
>> Let's sign the baby.
>> [LAUGH]
>> Just sign the baby.
>> You want us to sign the baby?
>> [LAUGH]
>> Aw.
>> Avery is beautiful.
>> [LAUGH].
>> [LAUGH] She's out of control.
>> Don't you want me to sign the-
>> You were about to head for
the forehead.
>> And then I go down, like that.
>> [LAUGH]
>> My, thank you.
Not, not no, don't do that.
>> Go to sleep.
Go to sleep.
>> You should go now.
She's up, you woke her up.
>> Go to sleep little baby.
Go to sleep.
>> [LAUGH]
>> You're scaring her.
>> No.
>> Thank you.
>> Thank you.
>> You open it, you-
>> Michelle what kind of cream do you need
for that rash that you
were telling me about?
>> [LAUGH]
>> [LAUGH] The rash?
>> [LAUGH] We need a rash for
a rash that Shelley has.
Where is the rash?
What area were you telling me about?
>> My shoulder.
>> Lower than that.
>> [LAUGH]
>> A book.
>> Get this.
Lindsey Sands, Lady Pirate.
>> Wow, look at this.
>> Let's read some.
>> The water was flat as a looking
glass capturing the moonlight and
stars that twinkled down from above and
reflecting just enough light that
the ship gliding ahead- I don't know.
>> Alright, we're gonna head
to self checkout over here.
>> Alright.
Well wait.
Do you know what you're doing?
>> No but I guess you scan it.
>> Do you have your extra care card?
>> Where are you?
>> Do you have an extra care card?
>> Jose?
Jose.
>> Alright, we're checking out now.
>> Jose, can you see?
>> Yes, I can see.
>> Jose, can you see if you can help us?
We don't know what we're doing.
>> I've never done self checkouts.
>> Can you just give it to us?
We are both very busy with...
>> No, we're going to pay!
We're going to pay.
No!
No, we can't take bribes,
I work for the government.
>> It's not bribes,
it was just a question.
>> And you could just set it here.
>> I'm good at this, this is good.
>> I'm good at bagging!
>> Alright!
>> Please place your item in the bag.
Please do not place your
item in bagging area.
>> I think you're too
close to the bagging area.
>> Okay.
>> How do we know that we got?
Okay, we got Macy's card in,
but I don't see the stub.
[SOUND] Okay, here we go.
>> There you go.
>> I don't wanna be too close.
>> [LAUGH] Don't be too close.
You're messing it up.
You have to put the amount in.
>> Sure.
>> $10.
>> $10, okay.
>> Zero, zero, zero.
>> Enter.
>> Yes.
>> Good job.
>> Are you bored Ellen?
>> I sure am.
>> Come on it's fun, this is the process.
>> OK.
>> There it goes!
>> Alright.
>> I'm getting tired, I'm so confused.
>> Just hit no!
>> Skip bagging?
>> What are you doing?
>> I don't know, I just...
>> We're not done yet!
>> I was angry.
>> [LAUGH]
>> [LAUGH]
>> Sorry.
I just got sick of it.
>> Finish and play.
Okay.
Why am I the only, did we pay for that?
>> Uh-uh.
>> [LAUGH]
>> Man!
I'm working really hard here, Ellen,
and you're just standing around.
I'm really exhausted.
Here, take these.
>> [LAUGH]
>> Okay, let's put the magazines here.
All right, who's paying?
I don't have any money.
>> Man.
>> You have money?
>> Yeah.
This is a lot of work!
>> Can you get my face on money?
>> No I can't.
>> Why not?
>> We don't do that, you would
have to have done something grand!
Like Harriet Tubman.
>> I make the world happy every day.
>> You should have freed some slaves.
You know you're really annoying.
It's like taking
a three-year-old to the store.
>> Not everyone does everything for
you anymore.
>> Well obviously not!
I mean this was hard!
Here just take this stuff.
>> Thank you all.
I'm gonna be back, 2017.
I'm coming alone without Ellen.
>> No, I'm gonna come back with you.
>> [LAUGH]
>> This was so much fun.
>> I'm not taking you anywhere, you're.
>> [APPLAUSE]
