Today on LetThemTalkTV we're going to
look at five books that will expand your
mind
and change the way you think and how you
see the world.
however these are not books about
abstract
concepts but rather they offer practical
information
that you can apply to your personal or
professional life.
In bookshops they may be categorized in
the sections about
social psychology or business
but these are very vague terms, Certainly
you don't need to run a
business to appreciate them. They all
touch on
human nature itself and they cover a
wide range of topics such as
how to influence people, how to negotiate
and how to succeed. Things that embrace
all of our lives. So whatever you do,
whatever your situation, I'm sure you'll
enjoy them
and learn from them so stay tuned.
Before i start you'll notice that all
five books have been written by
male authors. Now the vast majority of
books available on the subjects
of business and social psychology in
general
are written by men that's excluding
those written for women
specifically. I'm sure there are many
great books on these subjects written by
women.
However, none of the ones i read made the
short list but i'm sure they're out
there
so do let me know your recommendations
for great books on these subjects
particularly those by female authors and
i can include them
in a future video. Now i have a link to
all the books I discussed below these
are affiliate links but you can find
all these books in good bookshops
I'm sure. I remind you also that I've
also made a review of
six classic works of modern fiction
and you can check out that video from
the link up here.
so without further ado, let's get started.
And the first book is
"Getting More: how to Negotiate to Achieve
your Goals in the Real World"
by Stuart Diamond. Stuart Diamond is a
negotiator that has advised
governments and business on negotiation.
However what he says is that the rules
for negotiation
are the same whether you're negotiating
world peace
or trying to get your kids to do their
homework,
or trying to get a discount for a hat.
In fact he says that negotiation is at
the heart of almost
every interaction and he breaks it down
to 10 rules
and if you apply these rules to any
negotiation
you will get more - you won't get
everything every time
but it will work a lot of the time. Now i
followed these rules in the book and
incredibly,
it really works. i paid about 10 pounds
for
this book and it must have been the best
investment I've ever made because
it's paid for itself many times over.
I've got discounts in shops I've got
upgrades in hotels,
I've got better results in business
negotiation
just because of this book. It gave me a
framework that
you can adapt to every interaction.
Now let me just give you one rule of the
ten he gives in the book.
Now start thinking that the negotiation
is about
them, it's not about you, it's about them.
Think that you are the least
important person in the negotiation.
start by seeing the scene
from the other's perspective, show that
you value the other person,
this will help you frame the interaction
with the person and put them at
ease.
If you are engaging with them they'll be
more
open-minded to your requests.
For example you're in a noisy hotel room
it's small, doesn't have a nice view. You
want to change.
Now you could march down to reception
and
make a complaint and demand a different
room. "I wish to see the manager
this room is too noisy please move me
immediately."
and it might work but it could be
a lot of work for them, a lot of
inconvenience
and hassle. They are busy and they could
say something like
"I'm afraid the rest of the hotel is full
so i'm afraid there's nothing i can do
madam." However if you went to the
reception said
and said "you look rushed off your feet,
it must be
tough working here during peak season"
and after a few friendly exchanges it's
much easier to ask for something.
"hey, i know you're busy but can i ask you
a question? My room's a bit noisy is
there any chance i could
change it for another one on the
other side of the building?
I haven't touched anything in the room
and i'll move the luggage myself.
I can even come back later this
afternoon if that helps."
Of course you should show genuine
interest in the other person,
anybody can spot a fake but by showing
respect for the other person from the
beginning
and being able to anticipate any
inconvenience for them
it might work. So this book is full of
examples and, as i said,
I use his techniques all the time and it
doesn't always work but it often
works and Stuart Diamond says
communication is the biggest reason for
negotiation
failure and i see now that that's true.
I could talk about this book for hours
and give you many examples as how it's
helped me but you'll have to read it
yourself.
It's time to move on and the second book
i recommend is
Influence the Psychology of Persuasion
by Robert Cialdini here it is.
Now how do you convince someone to say
"yes"
what are the factors involved to get
someone to buy your product,
join your organization or vote for you?
Cialdini brings it down to six basic
principles and these are: Reciprocity,
commitment, social proof, liking,
authority and scarcity just like the
Stuart Diamond book what I love about
this one is that it's a very practical
book that you can apply
to your everyday life. When you are aware
of the rules
then suddenly you start seeing them all
around you.
So for example, you're booking a hotel
on a hotel booking website and you see
a message pop up
saying 'only one room left at this price'
that's the law of scarcity and you're
more likely to buy something
if it's in short supply. You're given a
free sample of
some soap in the market and you end up
going into the shop and buying lots of
their products.
That's the law of reciprocity if someone
does or gives something for you
you're more likely to return the favor
the law of reciprocity.
their website says that their real estate
business
has been around for 30 years
so they've got lots of experience so
that's where you go to buy your house.
That's the rule of social proof.
You're searching on youtube for a
chocolate cake recipe
and two videos pop up one with two
hundred views and the other with two
million views which one
do you watch? Yeah probably the one with
two million views.
You're following the law of social proof.
We prefer things
that are liked by a large number of
people.
Then what if Jamie Oliver has a similar
recipe?
uh well you might prefer his because he
has
authority. You might think well that's
all common sense
but is it? We end up following these
rules
even if they go against logic. So for
example a
homeless guy stops you in the street and
asks you for a euro.
You might or might not give him one
depending on how you're feeling
at that moment. If you've already been
asked for money
by 20 beggars that morning then you're
less likely to but then you're stopped
by a guy
who is impeccably dressed as a pilot
and is standing by his expensive car and
he says,
"I'm sorry to disturb you madam but i
need a euro for the parking meter
you couldn't help me could you?" logically
you should give the euro to the needy
person
not the rich person who's got lots of
money but in fact
the research tells us the opposite is
true. We are
following the rule of authority. We do
what people
who seem to have some kind of authority
ask us to do. So this book will
make you aware of how your influenced and
sometimes
how we are manipulated. If you use the
rules
in an ethical way then it will give you
an
extra power
so check it out. The next book is a
biography
it's King Camp Gillette by
Tim Dowling Here is Ii have it right here.
it's a short book in fact the publisher
is called Short Books
it's only 93 pages long you can read it
in one
afternoon, in one sitting but the story
is inspiring
and the book itself is very well written
which i like it tells the story
of Gillette, the inventor of the
disposable razer and the background to
the story of the
invention. Now Gillette was a traveling
salesman,
he sold bottle caps his politics could
be described as
utopian socialist in 1894 he wrote a
book called
'The Human Drift' which advocated that
industry should be taken over by
the public. so this is the extraordinary story
of how a socialist
bottle-top salesman came to become
a millionaire businessman and inventor
in a field he had no experience of
and no knowledge of is what inspired me.
Nowadays we forget but the invention of
the disposable razor was
revolutionary. It was a life-changing
invention,
even a life-saving invention. Now look at
all the photos from the 19th century
most men wore beards. Shaving
was time consuming and difficult
so most men would only get shaved
at the barber perhaps once or twice a
week if at
all. Shaving yourself with a razor
was dangerous the razor could slip
and people died, yes men
men died from shaving. Gillette saw a
need for a cheap,
disposable safety razor but he had no
idea
of how to do it and no money. This is
a story of
perseverance and determination. Experts
told
him, no, it can't be done. You can't make
a razor like that but he stubbornly
persisted
with single-minded determination. He
would not
accept what the experts had said
and here is a a quote from the book i'll
read to you:
"No matter what he tried the thin steel
would not
take an edge engineers at the
Massachusetts
Institute of Technology had already told
him he was wasting his time
while traveling for Crown Cork and Seal
Gillette consulted cutlers and
machinists in several cities
but he found no one who could make his
razor for him
or offer the least encouragement.
'those whom I went to or consulted
invariably advised me to drop
it. They told me I was throwing my money
away' " then he goes on to say 'i didn't
know enough to quit
if i'd been technically trained i would
have quit
or i would never begun.' By 1926 the
Gillette company was producing 2.1
million blades a day Gillette knew he
was onto something
he knew what people wanted and he
believed
in what he was doing. He was already
45 years old when he produced his first
razors.
So if you're not young yourself and you
think you missed
the boat think again. His story is a
lesson to us
all about how, in the right hands a good
idea plus determination
work and perseverance can change the
world.
my third book is
Outliers: The Story of Success
by Malcolm Gladwell here it is.
This book looks at key factors that lead
to success but it's not a story about
successful people it's a book about
situations and how many factors,
including coincidence,
can all contribute. Bill Gates
for example, is no doubt a very talented
person
but a lot of talented people are out
there and they don't all become
Bill Gates but he was in the right place
at the right time, why?
Another example - he he looks at how
ethnicity could influence the safety of
a flight,
he looks at why The Beatles were so
great. Was it just raw talent
or were there some other factors
involved
and one of the things he discusses is
the 10,000 hour rule now I've discussed this
in another video in the context of
language
learning and if you want to know how
long it takes to learn
a language you can check out the video
up here. Now what the rule says
is that to become an expert in any
complex task
whether it be learning a musical
instrument
a language a profession it takes
10 000 hours of practice ten thousand
hours of practice to become great at
something.
Now people talk about talent and, yes it
exists,
but talent is overrated there are lots
of talented people
the difference between a good musician
and a great musician
or a good athlete and a great athlete
or someone who speaks a language well
and someone who's fluent
is the number of hours they put in.
And studies show this time and time
again
and, as I said, he mentioned The Beatles
The Beatles went to Hamburg
in the early 60s and played for several
hours a day
together for seven days a week.
They reached their 10 000 hours at a
young age
that was why they stood out. No other
group of young musicians
came anywhere close to that. Now if i
could
go back in time and speak to my younger
self and tell him
one thing I would tell him about the 10
000
hour rule I often gave up too early
because i thought
I didn't have the talent for something
I often listened to the negativity of
others telling me that I wasn't good
enough
but now I know it takes time to become
good
and young people are much more likely to
be
discouraged by failure. I would tell
myself
that you know you can do it if that's
what you really want.
You can do it, it requires lots and lots of
hard work and lots of practice but it's
it is possible.
I've read several books by Malcolm
Gladwell and what I love about his work
is that he explains
complex ideas complex concepts about
business economics and sociology
through storytelling his books are never
dry and factual
they always alive with great
anecdotes that get you to to rethink
your
assumptions and if you haven't read any
of his works before then
outliers is a good starting point.
The final book on my list is
Hit Makers: How Things Become
popular by Derek Thompson.
There you are. This is a fascinating
story about what makes
something a hit and it's really is a
phenomenal
book. Now whether it's a song
a film, a design for a car, a new product,
a fashion item,
new piece of technology such as a
smartphone,
what are the factors that make it work.
Surely there must be something
in common and this is what Derek
Thompson studied. So why do some songs
become hits and others
that are equally good or even better
fail?
Sometimes marketing can play a part in
success but it's not only that
sometimes a film that is heavily
promoted fails
while others that are on a low budget
rise up
and become hit. It's the same in business
why does one product sell millions
while others flop? what makes one video
become viral on youtube while millions
of others don't?
Why do some politicians succeed in
getting elected
better than others? Thompson looked at
lots and lots of different spheres
looking for the connection.
Look at these two statements "I love this
because it's so popular", "I hate this
because it's so popular" consciously or
subconsciously, no doubt you've
experienced both these
feelings before and this is important in
our study of popularity.
What is cool what is interesting and
what is desirable
in fashion in music
in the name of something is that it's
original but
familiar, original but familiar and this
theme
goes through and through all the things
that he looks at
we like surprises but familiar ones.
Now looking at baby names gives us a
clue because names are not influenced by
marketing. Now Nike can sell millions of
trainers because they spend millions of
dollars on
advertising and marketing but names are
free
and everybody has a name.
We need to talk about Kevin. Now Kevin is
not in the book by the way it's my own
interpretation.
In 1973 there were
58 Kevins born in France.
In 1991 a total of 14,087
French children
mostly boys i think were given the name
Kevin.
by 2013 there were 213
Kevins born in France the name had
disappeared
again. If you name your child i don't
know
whatever flobdib or ukulele
it's going to  sound weird, really weird, just
as naming your son Kevin was weird in
1900.
There is a point when the name becomes
a little bit familiar to prospective
parents.
In France in the 1980s perhaps then
at that time it becomes different but
not too different,
so interesting. Kevin Costner was a
popular actor
at the time. No doubt they were thinking
"yeah i like that name
i know it but it's different there
aren't many kevins
there are a few but not many so let's
call him Kevin our
little brat Kevin" but once it became the
most popular name in France, as it did
in 1991, it became
"oh god i hate it i hate the name Kevin
it's so popular everyone's called Kevin
every boy in France is called Kevin
so common definitely not." That's why
the popularity of names rises and falls
in the uk Sharon was a popular name then
it went out of favor
Jack was once very popular then it went
out of favor
and now it's popular again. Now this is
not just
about names this observation comes up
again and again.
We like things that are new and
different to some extent but retain some
level of familiarity.
If you played hip-hop song to an 18th
century audience
you would have been taken away to a
mental hospital.
We have a fear of something that is too
new.
hit music is never revolutionary it's
evolutionary.
It borrows from well established genres
and familiar sounds with a slight tweak
of originality of course this is just my
summary in a couple of paragraphs but i
do recommend
reading the book in its entirety
Thompson
shows us that from popular music to
political speeches
we like things that are familiar but
different. A little new but not too new
and if you could hit that curve
you're on the right track. But read the
book if you want to know
more it's full of factual references and
interesting observations
and it's well written too. Well I hope
you enjoyed that video
if you have any recommendations of your
own on books about business
and psychology we'd love to hear them.
Put them in the comments
and if you want me to make more videos
like this on book reviews then let me
know in the comments.
Thank you for watching stay healthy
bye.
