Thank you so much for being here.
People in Chicago love you.
Love ya.
Yeah, they're nice, they're nice.
They're nice people here.
They are wonderful people.
You've got a wonderful state here.
Absolutely.
First of all, I wanna say...
(laughing)
I wanna say I'm a huge fan of your name.
Your name, you have the best name.
Barack Obama.
When I first heard it, I
thought I was sure it was Irish,
when I first heard it.
It is...
There's an apostrophe after the o.
[Conan] I knew that, I knew that.
And Barack is actually
an ancient Celtic name.
Very nice.
So we're ancient cousins,
is what you're saying.
That's exactly right.
You and me, we're right there.
I'm taking you to Ireland someday.
This is my brother here.
(audience laughing)
Now, there's a lot I have to ask you,
first of all, you live in
Chicago, your wife is from here,
any advice for me?
I'm a guy, I don't know the area,
what would you tell a guy?
Well, you know-
[Conan] Where should I go?
What should I do?
The key is to get into the neighborhoods.
You know, Millennium Park is beautiful,
and Wrigley Field everybody knows about,
but you know, going out
into the neighborhoods,
visiting some local restaurants,
for example, my favorite
restaurant in Chicago
is a place on the west
side called MacArthur's.
(audience cheering)
Some folks know MacArthur's here.
Some of the best soul food in Chicago.
Soul food.
And I mean, you'll stand out a little bit.
(audience laughing)
I will not.
There aren't that many, six
six guys in the restaurant.
It's about time they saw a
giant red pompadour in there.
I want my soul food.
Bring it on.
Now, is it true that you've
gone to the same barbershop,
is it true, here in Chicago, for 20 years?
The Hyde Park Hair Salon.
[Conan] Hyde Park Hair Salon.
Hyde Park.
Hyde Park?
Okay.
Do you tell people I'm
going to the barber shop
or it's time for my
trip to the hair salon?
No, no, the...
It's called hair salon,
but when you go in there,
it's more shop than salon.
Right?
And it sounds like a nice
kinda down to earth place,
not too fussy.
You know, you sit down...
The first time I went there
was with a guy named Wally.
He's an old grumpy guy.
And he's day, "Sit
down, what do you want?"
And I'd say, "Well, I'm not sure."
Okay, just shut up.
And he'd start cutting your hair.
That's a great service
technique, just shut up.
But now I've got a guy who's...
He and I, we've been
together for about 10 years.
Very brave of you to come out with this.
Listen, let me say, the
relationship between
a man and his barber, that's...
It's sacred, it's a real bond.
It's serious business.
Where do you get your hair cut, Conan?
I don't, this isn't real.
This is, scientists work on this.
(audience applause)
This is a high density
polymer that NASA invented.
Hair.
Hair is for wimps.
This has robotics in it, it can do things.
Ah, there you go.
(audience laughing)
I'm an ass, by the way.
I wanna talk about something.
First time that you had real
intense national exposure,
and the first time I think you came to
a lot of people's attention,
2004 democratic national convention,
you gave the keynote address.
You blew everybody away.
People are still talking
about that speech.
Brilliant speech.
(audience applause)
Thank you.
And I was thinking, do you ever use...
You have such oratorical
power, have you ever,
do you ever go home to your family
and try and use that oratorical power?
I'll tell you a quick story.
You know, we have dinner together,
my wife asked my two
daughters, seven and four,
Malia, how was your day?
She'll say, "Tell us about it."
Four year old, Sasha, how was your day?
They ask my wife, how's your day?
Then finally, my wife says,
"Well, let's ask daddy how his day was."
And my four year old will say, "Boring."
And my wife will say,
"Well, that's not nice.
You know, actually, people come
and listen to daddy speak."
And the two of them fall
out of their chairs.
They think that is the funniest thing.
The notion that somebody
would be interested
in what their father has to say.
Kids just don't care, yeah.
But have you ever been tempted to just
jump up behind a podium
in front of your kids
to tell them, you know, go to your room?
Using the great Barack Obama voice.
My fellow Obamas.
The time has come.
I'll try that out.
That would work for you.
You will clean your room in this century.
Have you always been a gifted speaker?
Have you always...
No, no.
Was it something that
you developed over time?
No, you know, I have
flopped so many times.
I think it's like being a comic, you know,
you get up and every...
And sometimes it's working for you,
but you know that time
where everybody just--
I don't know what you're talking about.
You start getting kind
of hot flashes and...
No.
No?
(laughing)
Yeah, yeah.
Is this one of those moments?
No, no, no.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
Anyone who's a...
And so how do you handle when you...
Because people, I think, just assume that
you're such a gifted speaker,
that you've never had those moments.
Describe what it's like for
you when you're up there
and you feel like it's not
working, you're not getting them.
It's not working, and the
main mistake everybody makes,
and I do the same thing, is you
just keep on talking, right?
' Cause you think, well,
eventually I'm gonna
come up with something that they like,
and that makes it worse
because what happens is
not only are you bad,
but you're long winded.
Right, right.
Do you just throw out random
words at a certain point?
Corndog, onion, blueberry.
Anything here, people?
Yeah, yeah.
But I think that's what's been happening
in the White House lately.
(audience cheers and applause)
Throw anything against the refrigerator,
see if it sticks.
Yeah.
Well, let me ask you something.
I know president Bush
is famous for nicknames.
Has he tried to give you a nickname?
He loves to give everybody...
You know, the thing...
I can't tell whether he's
trying to give me a nickname
or whether he just
can't pronounce my name.
(audience laughing)
[Conan] Give him the benefit of the doubt.
Sometimes he calls me Bama.
[Conan] Bama?
Bama.
Sometimes he calls me Rock.
He calls you what?
Rock.
Rock.
Rock is cool.
Rock is not bad.
Bama, Rock.
I like that, yeah.
Yeah.
(laughing)
I just picture him going Bama.
Get Bama, get Bama, get Rock.
Mr President, are you all right?
They're gonna think he's
having a fit or something.
Now, I'm curious, you
have been very successful,
you've had a lot of success
and a lot of adulation.
You've been very successful, I think,
at remaining humble and
having a sense of humor
about yourself.
Does that come naturally to you?
It's my wife.
It's your wife.
It's nice when someone
else does it for you.
Yeah, exactly.
She tells me about my ears.
She talks about my ears a lot.
That's an old standard, how big they are.
Oh really?
That's nice.
So your kids are saying boring
and she's like, "Yeah, big ears."
This is a horrible home life you have.
It's basically, you know...
Often I come home feeling
pretty full of myself
and they knock me down pretty quick.
Yeah.
I think that's what
our loved ones are for.
That's why we marry.
I feel good, oh yeah?
Thanks mom.
Now I have to ask you, I
wouldn't be doing my job,
that's not true, I'm a
comedian, not a pundit,
but I'm gonna ask anyway.
So many people are speculating,
you hear Barack Obama is gonna be
a presidential candidate in '08
or he's gonna be on the ticket.
And I just wanna say...
(audience applause)
I just wanna say,
if there's something
you'd like to say here,
there's probably never a
better venue than right now.
This is the kind of thing you wanna say
just after Chewbacca has
made out with George Wayne.
(laughing)
I was thinking about
you as my running mate.
Oh, hey.
(audience cheers)
Me and Conan.
It sounds good, Obama O'Brien.
Obama O'Brien sounds amazing, yeah.
Obama O'Brien.
It would be the worst thing you ever did.
You'd think it was funny
and then like a day later
you'd be like, this guy is an idiot.
Barack, come on over, let's talk.
It's been a thrilling week for us,
but it was a real honor to have you be on
our last show here in Chicago.
And I know you're a busy person,
but we were thrilled when
you said you'd stop by.
Listen, I love Conan
O'Brien and most of all,
I love the audience here.
(audience cheers and applause)
The guy's a pro.
Thank you so much, Senator Barack Obama.
Coming up, we'll be right back.
