The overwhelming majority of weapons in Fallout
New Vegas are designed to be lethal in one
way or another.
But there’s one weapon that is specifically
made to be non-lethal.
Can You Beat Fallout New Vegas With Only Boxing
Gloves?
Up first, as always about half the time, is
the character name.
I went with Rocky, after the snail that Patrick
entered into the Great Snail Race.
With Boxing Gloves being an unarmed weapon,
I drained the points from Charisma and Intelligence,
maxed out Strength and Agility, and put a
good amount of points into Luck and Endurance.
The Skills I chose were Unarmed, obviously,
Repair, and Lockpick.
I picked Wild Wasteland for my first trait
and thought for a while about whether or not
Heavy Handed would be worth taking.
It gives +20% to Unarmed and Melee damage
while reducing Critical Hit damage for those
weapon types by 60%.
I ended up deciding against it.
Despite the fact that Boxing Gloves are designed
to favor fatigue damage over damage damage,
we don’t have to go far to get our hands
in the gloves, as choosing Unarmed as a Tag
skill will result in Doc Mitchell giving us
a pair of Boxing Gloves.
They’re not in the best condition, but the
Ultimate Edition of New Vegas includes the
Caravan Pack DLC, which gives 4 Weapon Repair
Kits allowing us to take the Boxing Gloves
condition up to about 50%.
I looted Doc’s house, went outside, took
a few practice swings at the dust, sold what
I could to Chet, and met Cheyenne and her
bitch behind the Prospector Saloon.
I knocked (knock-ed) the bottles off the fence
like the lady wanted, but that wasn’t really
what she had in mind.
I shot them to advance the game and went back
inside the saloon to talk to Trudy.
At this point, I was anxious to see how useful
these Boxing Gloves actually are.
I detest all creatures named Ringo, so the
scum-fuck hiding in the gas station would
be a perfect body bag.
I hid from Ringo by hiding in Ringo and started
swinging.
To say that I was less than impressed would
be an understatement.
It took more than 50 punches to kill Ringo,
which isn’t exactly surprising since the
Boxing Gloves only do 1 damage, but I still
wasn’t at all happy about it.
The small upside is that Ringo’s body had
been rendered flaccid by my attacks, but his
eyes moving let me know that he could feel
every punch I landed.
He felt his bones shatter, his organs fail,
and the life eventually get beaten out of
him.
Every person I kill will suffer a similar
fate, including the animals, so it’s actually
not that bad.
I spoke to Trudy again, then went to talk
to Joe Cobb about taking over the town.
He had a funny feeling about me, which is
a strange coincidence since I was just thinking
about how funny it’d be to beat him to death.
The abysmal damage output made its presence
known for the 2nd time as I killed Cobb.
The one thing the Boxing Gloves have going
for them is the fatigue damage they deal.
Every creature has a Fatigue level that is
determined by their Base Fatigue value, their
Endurance level, and the level they are.
Once a creature takes enough Fatigue damage,
they’re rendered unconscious, meaning they
can’t move, defend themselves, or fight
back until their Fatigue level restores itself,
which happens automatically over time.
This Fatigue thing can give me the upper hand
in one-on-one fights.
It’s still useful when dealing with a group,
just less so.
Because I did no research on Fatigue prior
to starting this playthrough, I went to the
hills of Goodsprings to fight a few dogs before
I pressed on into the heart of the wasteland.
The first Coyote I beat lost consciousness
around the time it lost its life, and the
2nd ran off before I could finish it off.
The next 3 went the same way.
Five dogs are dead and I have nothing to show
for it.
There was a sign near the Goodsprings cemetery
that caught my eye.
It said something about buried treasure being
in the valley just over yonder.
The sign was a lie, because there was no treasure.
Or maybe the treasure was the pleasure of
a dozen giant radscoprions sticking their
tails deep into my anus and letting their
poison melt my insides like a child in a hot
car.
I survived that situation, punched another
few dogs, uppercutted the ass of a Powder
Ganger, leveled up, and had a whopping 3 perks
to choose from.
I chose Confirmed Bachelor because who cares
at this point.
As I got closer to Primm, I found some trash
on the ground and was determined to find the
culprit.
I’ll tell you now that was a massive failure,
the Mojave Litterbug is still at large as
we speak, but it wasn’t a total loss, as
I got ambushed by a family of geckos and found
out that I can in fact knock out animals.
I took the long way around Primm, discovered
some Canyon Wreckage and some signs with strange
symbols on heaps of garbage, threw a Teddy
Bear farther than anyone ever has before,
and did significant damage to a Convict on
the road to Mojave Outpost.
The Convicts were weak, but the Jackal Gang
Members, especially their disgusting leader,
were tough.
And by tough, I mean once I got them on the
ground they took a long time to die.
A series of rights and lefts were all it took
to end the Mantises being held in lockup.
Closer to Mojave Outpost, I faced my biggest
challenge yet, Radscorpions.
Instead of running, I stood my ground, readied
my Sock Em’ Boppers, and was more than willing
to go down swinging.
I nearly died of boredom from the amount of
time it took me to kill a single Radscorpion.
If I had to kill the rest I’d have broken
out the Drain-O and let the party begin.
I eventually made my way to Mojave Outpost,
got some fresh foam stuffed into my boxing
gloves, got a job from Ranger Ghost, then
another from Ranger Jackson, and was off to
kill more of God’s creatures.
The Giant Ants took far more damage from my
attacks than I expected them to, making it
trivial to slaughter the entire family of
insects.
I returned to Ranger Jackson who rewarded
me for a job well done with trash that I can’t
use.
With the NCR now being all but dead to me,
I put my eyes on the prize and marched towards
Nipton to see what the profanity was going
on there.
A lot more ants died on the way out there,
and when I say “a lot of ants”, I mean
a lot of ants.
I wouldn’t have said “a lot of ants”
if I didn’t mean “a lot of ants”.
At Nipton Road Pit Stop I became intimately
familiar with something that would annoy me
to no end throughout this run: melee weapons.
Specifically, people wielding melee weapons
and blocking my attacks with them.
I wish I could just kill whoever I want with
no consequences without having to worry about
them fighting back.
This would be so much easier if people just
killed themselves as soon as they saw me like
people in real life want to do after they
see my face.
I was inches away from Nipton, ready to see
what went wrong, but once again my overwhelming
desire to beat Oliver Swanick to death got
the better of me.
I’d like to tell you that I killed him then
and there just outside of Nipton, but that
would be a lie.
I chased him for miles, across the Mojave,
through deserts, until I finally caught up
to him and got the least satisfying kill of
all time.
It looked like he tripped on a rock and died
rather than being beaten to death.
His soul may be free from my wrath, but we
can still have some fun with his body before
he goes cold.
I stripped him naked, nice, and carried him
back into the dry dry desert as an offering
to the scorpions.
They did not accept, in fact, I think they
found it quite offensive.
I used their anger to my advantage by luring
an army of Radscorpions back to Nipton to
wipe out the Legion.
That was a lie.
I tried to lure one Radscrorpion back to Nipton,
but it lost interest before I got anywhere
near the town.
I was determined to rough them up, though.
I wasn’t going to leave Nipton without Wolf
Boy’s hat.
The Legionaries are formidable as fuck in
one-on-one scenarios.
In a five-on-one situation where the one would
be better off with Hulk Hands than boxing
gloves, they are just about the worst thing
ever.
Vulpes in particular was troublesome to kill.
I don’t know how many times I punched him.
I lost count when the numbers started getting
big.
I’m talking well into double digit territory
here.
It didn’t help that half the time I couldn’t
even hit with because one of the Legion Recruits
would get in my way.
After a while, I escaped with my life, returned
to Ranger Ghost to let him know about the
unspeakable horrors that transpired in Nipton,
fast-traveled back to Nipton where the Legion
had gotten smart and high-tailed it out of
there, and was off to Novac.
I took a different route to Novac than I normally
do because I had an opportunity to partially
fulfill a childhood dream of becoming a train.
I followed the train tracks for a good while
until I found Primm Pass.
I knew a Blind Deathclaw lurked nearby, and
I was anxious to face my toughest challenge
yet.
I feel confident in saying that I was seconds
away from certain victory when the game froze
then crashed.
I got fucked up real bad in Round 2.
The Deathclaw hit me so hard my gloves fell
off, which is why today’s Mitten Squad Boxing
Pro-Tip is to dunk your hands in glue before
you put on your gloves to ensure a snug fit.
I wasn’t going to let there be a Round 3
because as far as I’m concerned it’s a
draw.
The Deathclaw scared me shitless when it appeared
outside a cabin I’d broken into.
I killed a group of Viper Gunslingers and
finally arrived at Novac.
I tried to learn a new move from Captain Cripple
but he wasn’t interested in sharing, got
a job from Boone, and tried to get Jeanie
to follow me out to the dinosaur.
But for some reason even after reading the
Bill of Sale, I didn’t have the option to
ask her to follow.
So I did the next best thing and got NCR’s
least favorite cripple to follow me outside
to die.
Boone was less than thrilled with my idea,
so I gave him the kind of honorable death
he’d always wanted: being knocked unconscious
then beaten to death in a dinosaur’s mouth
by an idiot wearing boxing gloves.
My next stop was The Strip.
Legion Assassin’s tried to assassin me,
which led to me resurrecting my Radscorpion
plan from earlier by luring the Legion to
Helios One where they could fight the NCR.
Unfortunately, Lieutenant Haggerty lost her
life during this little scuffle.
The good news is that Lieutenant Haggerty
is, in many ways, like Edgar.
Lieutenant Haggerty can be anyone.
Whoever wears the armor and calls themselves
Lieutenant Haggerty is Lieutenant Haggerty.
More Vipers died, some fire ants died, some
weird shit happened in the back of a truck,
and I went inside Vault 11 for the first time
maybe ever.
The mantises inside did far more damage to
me than I thinkeded they would.
I knocked out a mouse, taunted a few more
mantises with possible dinner, and left the
Vault to find 188 Trading Post.
The Strip can wait.
I recruited Veronica and headed for Hidden
Bunker to take care of the Brotherhood ahead
of schedule.
I passed by Snuffles because I’d probably
end up choking him with his foot if I tried
to help him.
Inside the Bunker, once again the small things
prove to be troublesome as Veronica just stood
in the doorway doing nothing.
After I pushed her inside she got us inside
the Bunker proper, I spoke to Power Armor
Guy, bought some Stimpaks, and met the Overseer,
uh, Elder.
Same thing.
I tried to kill McNamara, predictably failed,
the reloaded a save and took a gander inside
his pockets.
Turns out he has a key card, and I snagged
it.
How he didn’t feel my boxing gloves in his
pockets is a mystery we’re not meant to
be able to comprehend.
I figured that if I already got the keycard
from one guy, there was no reason to not get
the other two and fuck the entire bunker into
Hell.
Veronica didn’t appreciate my efforts to
exterminate everything and everyone she’s
ever loved.
So I left her down there too, and blew up
the Bunker.
I then returned to the train tracks, but only
temporarily, because I had a Boulder City
to find.
Lieutenant Monroe was similar to Lieutenant
Haggerty in that they were both Lieutenants.
I bopped him one, then stood there taking
dozens of shots from him.
Watching him fire shot after shot into my
chest to no available was the most adorable
thing I’ve seen in a long time.
I gave him a right and then a left and he
went down.
I don’t know if it was my fist that knocked
him out or him smacking the side of his head
on the table that did it.
Either way, I took advantage of an unconscious
military officer and beat him to death.
I made it look like an accident by making
him sit in the chair completely normally.
The troopers inside were unhappy.
I thought with the Great Khans being renowned
for their toughness they’d do well against
the the NCR.
They did not.
I tried to talk to Jessup, who was distracted
by an NCR soldier who interrupted us rather
rudely.
I aided them outside by knocking out a few
of the Troopers then beat them to death.
Jessup gave me Benny’s Lighter, I got my
first somewhat useful perk, and this time,
for realsies, I was going to The Strip.
I got distracted by a hole in the ground,
ventured inside a sewer, knocked out a few
Feral Ghouls, then a rat, emerged through
some sort of pipe, and arrived at the Gun
Runners.
The sexy robot inside the hut didn’t sell
any Stimpaks, so I bought some from Mick and/or
Ralph, spent longer than I should have fighting
some Thugs, scared off some little shit, replaced
him with a beautiful trash can, and realized
that I don’t have enough caps entire the
Strip.
I sold an assortment of stuff and then got
inside the Strip.
My first stop was Gomorrah where I was stripped
of my weapon.
I’m not lying when I say that I legitimately
thought for about 3 minutes about how I’d
proceed in dealing with the casinos without
my Boxing Gloves.
Then I remembered that I could just go in
arms blazing.
So I left and went to meet Mr House who gave
me a little insider info on Swank, then I
tried and failed to use that info against
Swank.
My only remaining option was convince Benny
that I’d meet him in his suite because I’d
hoped to do things to his fanny thanks to
the Confirmed Bachelor perk.
That didn’t work, of course.
So I had to politely leave, then immediately
return and start beatin’ bitches.
The Chairmen weren’t especially tough.
Most went down in fewer than 8 punches.
A few gamblers ironically fled from me by
following me into Benny’s suite, where they
died.
I leveled up after I killed a gambler and
took arguably one of the most important perks
I could get, Stonewall, which prevents me
from being knocked down.
This will come into play later on.
I talked with Benny for a bit, he sent a few
goons after me, I thought for the briefest
of moments that maybe things would go my way
and I’d be able to VATS all 4 of them and
kill them each with a single punch.
Didn’t work.
This old bird had some fight in her.
Before I left the Tops, I spent a little while
going through all the rooms I could find and
killing anyone who wouldn’t fight back.
I killed people who did fight back too, I
just prefer those who don’t make me put
any effort into it.
Back outside the casino, I fast traveled back
to 188 Trading Post to begin the long march
towards Cottonwood Cove.
Not a whole heck of a heap happened on the
way out there.
The only thing of note was that I killed 2
Golden Gecko’s.
Someone smarter than me would be able to pull
a golden gloves comment out of that.
At the Fort, I told the Roman losers that
nobody comes between me and my gloves.
They tried to kill me, I pretty much ignored
them all on my way into Caesar Salad’s Tent,
only to discover or remember, the phrasing’s
a bit of a gray area, that Caesar has the
Platinum Chip, not Benny.
Then I remember that I’d be able to get
my weapons back after Caesar gives me the
Platinum Chip to destroy whatever’s in the
bunker below him.
I didn’t do that, I’m a loyal courier,
I installed the upgrade for Mr House, lied
to Caesar about it, set Benny free, left him
to die on his own terms, or mine, again, gray
area, returned to Cottonwood Cove, got a face-full
of Malcolm Homes, and retreated into the river
which allowed me to fast-travel back to the
Lucky 38 and receive my payment from Mr House.
Oh, you’re probably wondering about the
robots in the bunker.
They can be damaged, but they can’t be knocked
out because Fatigue damage doesn’t effect
them in any way.
Mr House took me down to his basement, well,
he was about to when I decided that I didn’t
want to watch that demonstration for the 8,000th
time.
So I went down to Mr House’s real basement
where he spends most of his time these days.
It took a few swings, but he eventually died,
I stuffed a fork in his chest cavity, and
left the Lucky 38 to go get Yes Man nonsense
started.
He took me down to the basement, I left the
room to do something probably food related,
and when I came back I’d been swept off
my feet and was back at the Penthouse with
a giant smiling face staring into my soul.
I then had the usual assortment of tasks to
complete: meet the Boomers, Great Khans, Omertas,
White Gloves, and Brotherhood.
The Brotherhood has long since been destroyed
and the Omertas want nothing to do with me.
I went to the Ultra Luxe first to kill as
many of them as was necessary to ensure that
I’d never have to deal with them again.
Next were the Great Khans.
I took the road from Goodsprings rather than
going north of the Strip and following the
road south.
Along the way I fought a family of Cazadors,
managed to knock one out and pummel it to
death, then escape the rest of the hive by
seeking shelter in Bonnie Springs.
Almost.
The game crashed before I reached the town.
Upon loading my most recent save, I spent
longer than I should have killing the Bighorners
and Mantises across the way from the entrance
to Red Rock Canyon.
I could have just ignored the Khans, but instead
I chose to do something different.
Not only did I not kill them all, I went to
work for them.
My first task was simple enough: find Anders
and report back to the Great Khans about his
well-being.
They thanked me for freeing him, I delivered
a mildly suspicious package to Don Hostetler,
there was another crash, I delivered the package
again, and was sent to Vault 3 to deliver
some happy drugs.
I think I fucked up somewhere between arriving
at the vault and beating Motor-Runner to death.
Before I left Red Rock, I’d been given some
Great Khans armor.
I’m now thinking that I was supposed to
wear that to get inside the vault peacefully.
I think that because I didn’t wear the armor
and ended up killing most of the Fiends in
the Vault.
And some were tough, especially those who
used melee weapons, which were, like, a lot
of them.
When I approached Motor-Runner, neither him
or his dogs seemed to happy to see me.
He died, I failed the quest, went back to
Crimson Caravan to kill Alice McLafferty,
killed a few Brahmin, and arrived at Nellis
to meet the Boomers.
After the wasting all that time with the Great
Khans, I opted for the simple solution to
the Boomers problem where I just kill Pearl
and then run as far away as I possibly can.
And good news, I found more train tracks.
I returned to the Ultra Luxe because believe
it or not I hadn’t killed Mortimer yet,
then returned to Yes Man to get the show on
the road, installed the thing at the place,
and was off to Hoover Dam.
The push inside was less of a push and more
of a slip n’ slide because I ignored those
shooting at me on the way inside the offices,
bonked the hell out of 2 NCR soldiers, installed
Yes Man, flipped a switch, and eventually
arrived at the Legate’s Camp.
I’ll go ahead and tell you now that I went
into the rather unprepared.
I actually didn’t prepare at all.
The Praetorian Guards are tough ,deal a lot
of damage with their Ballistic Fists, and
without the Speech check to fight the Legate
1v1 quickscopes only, there are a lot of Guards
to content with as well.
I fucked up again, big time.
It quickly became abundantly clear that I
had no hope of beating the Legate.
X-Men would become an Emmy Award Winning film
franchise before I ever killed the Legate.
So, I succumbed to my baser instincts and
went back to square one.
If I ever hoped to have a chance of beating
Linus, I’d need a stupid amount of Stimpaks.
So I took my near 12,000 caps to New Vegas
Medical Clinic and bought all the Stimpaks
they had.
Then I waited a few days and bought more,
then more, then more.
By the time I left, I had 58 plus 19 total
Stimpaks.
But I still wasn’t ready.
I wanted to level up before I faced the Legate
again.
Mick and Ralph were first, then an assortment
of Freeside residents, then I arrived at the
Old Mormon Fort.
let me tell you, the people there put up one
hell of a fight.
If it’s any consolation prize, they didn’t
suffer for very long.
From the time I landed my first punch to when
all the bodies lie naked on the ground, less
than 5 minutes had passed.
I was almost ready, there was just one more
thing I needed.
Well, actually 2 things.
Like many weapons in New Vegas, the Boxing
Gloves have a unique variant that are better
in every way.
The Golden Gloves are located in the Lucky
38’s Casino.
I snagged them, saw how shiny they were, returned
to Yes Man, went back to the Hoover Dam, fought
my way inside the Offices, flipped Yes Man’s
happy switch, pushed through the Centurians
to the Legate’s Camp, killed a good amount
of Legion soldiers with the normal Boxing
Gloves, then finally donned the Golden Gloves,
pumped myself full of drugs, and took the
fight to the Legate.
Even with the Golden Gloves, an asshole full
of drugs, Strength at 10, Unarmed at 100,
and the Piercing Strike perk that makes unarmed
weapons ignore 15 points of an enemy’s Damage
Threshold, this was by no means easy.
The Golden Gloves do help a lot, though.
The improvements they provide over the standard
Boxing Gloves are not just cosmetic.
They’re twice as likely to land a critical
hit and do 40% more Fatigue damage, which
means knocking out Praetorian is much easier
and they die much quicker.
Still, there’s a lot of them to deal with
in addition to the Legate, who’s Fatigue
level is among the highest of any creature
in the game.
I decided to focus on the guards before I
dealt with the Legate since they’d have
to be killed anyway.
After several minutes of glorious beatings,
it came down to Rocky and the Monster of the
East.
He put up a hell of a fight against me, but
he was knocked out just like everyone else.
And even with him lying unconscious on the
dirt, it still took nearly 90 seconds of nonstop
punching to kill him.
I got a few glamor shots, used almost every
drug I had left because nothing says victory
like over-dosing after a war, confronted General
Oliver beat him to death, and beat Fallout
New Vegas With Only Boxing Gloves.
And that’s gonna do it for this video about
whether or not you can beat Fallout New Vegas
With Only Boxing Gloves.
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My name is Paul of Mitten Squad.
Have a wonderful day.
