- In the battle royale,
no one ever really dies.
They are simply... eliminated.
Well, except for this guy.
We're not even to take off
his helmet to show you,
But his face really got messed
up after being run over by
that 80-K, like, closed
casket funeral and everything-
Oh my god, no, aw that's so disgusting!
Anyways, there's always
been a special beauty
about new beginnings, and
that's precisely what this is.
(Male scream)
(Royal upbeat music)
- [Man] Thank you!
- [Man2] Y'all welcome!
- [Woman] Thank you!
- [Man2] Y'all welcome!
- [Robotic Man] Thank you!
- [Man2] Y'all welcome!
- [Fishsticks] (thankful gibberish)
- [Man2] Ya'll welcome!
Alright guys here we go.
Squad Season 3 back and ready for action!
(Chicken noises)
(Male scream)
- [Calamity] Wait, didn't
we have a 4th squad member?
- [Robotic Man] Hey guys, yeah
sorry I didn't drop with you.
I'm not tilted. But I highly
think I'm gonna find some good-
(Gunshot)
Oh my god my face! He
shot my f***ing mouth off!
Oh my god, my jaw! My jaw's
literally hanging off my face!
Oh my god, oh I'm in so
much pain! Please guys!
(Gunshots)
Oh my god my kneecaps! Jesus!
Oh my god, no, is that a chainsaw?!
That's not even in the game!
Oh no, no no no no!
- [Man2] Welp, looks
like we're a 3-man squad.
- [Calamity] Excuse me?
- [Man2] Sorry, 2 man 1 woman squad.
- [Fishsticks] (gibberish of protest)
- [Man2] Okay sorry, a 1 man
1 woman 1 fish monster squad.
Heads up, squad looting at motel.
- [Man2] Here Calamity,
you take the shotgun.
- [Calamity] Alright!
- [Man2] en garde! Sorry
fishstick, just hold onto
this for now.
- [Fishstick] (Sad gibberish in agreement)
(Sad Piano music)
- [Man2] Alright guys, we
looted up. Let's move south and
Get some mats.
- [Mary] I wanna kill!
Let's find some defaults
and make em bleed!
- [Man2] Whoa! Chill Mary!
That's dark dude, real dark.
Alright, on my mark,
we're gonna ambush them.
1... 2...
- [Fishsticks] (angry gibberish)
(Death and gunshots)
(Dance music)
- [Man2] You know, it's really
hard for me to gather my
thoughts with this music blasting.
- [Mary] Alright fish-boy,
time to meet the deep fryer
Mother-f***er!
(Mary screams)
- [Man2] Roach! You saved us!
- [Roach] Of course!
You know we go back to
playgrounds my dude!
- [Calamity] Aww you guys
knew each other as kids?
- [Roach] No, I mean
playground mode. We used to
play it all the time!
- [Man2] All I know is
this is going to be the
best battle royale yet.
Isn't that right fish-face?
- [Fishsticks] (angry gibberish)
(Heavy rock guitar music)
