Hello Puzzles & Pieces, it is Jessica
from MultiplicityAndMe, a channel
dedicated to ending the stigma of D.I.D.
with authenticity at the heart of what
we do
I'm going to swear and say the *whispers* I word *
what is the dreaded I word? The I word is
integration of course! Today we're going
to talk about integration and fusion
what the differences are, and what's so
taboo about it?  Well, if you understand Dissocation, which is the disconnection
of parts, you'll want to know more about
integration, which is the bringing
together of parts. Makes sense, right?  If we
go back to my orange analogy to sum up
the leading theory on structural
dissociation: we are all oranges with
segments of the self that come together
slowly over time when we grow up. When
we're born, these pieces of ourselves are
separate, but as we grow older, pieces of
our personality integrate and finally
fuse to make the people that we are
today. However for those with D.I.D. the
process of this is interrupted and the
segments of the self remain separated we
learn to live life as a peeled parted
orange---I'm actually wearing orange today
that was good thinking! Our quote-unquote "multiple
personalities" is a failure to integrate
from this young age.  We are all parts of
one whole, even if we don't feel that way
and that was a very difficult message
for me to- for all of us - to initially
kind of absorb.  Integration is the
process of bringing these parts closer
together and bringing down the
dissociative barriers that separates us
just by communicating and learning about
our parts, that is considered integration
because it is bringing down these walls
and building parts closer together. A lot
of people in the D.I.D. community may say
something like 'oh I don't want to
integrate', what they're mistaking that for is
that 'I don't want to fuse' because
integration is going on all of the time.
So anyway, how can that all be done you
ask? Well I'm here to tell you!  Safety and
stabilization is step one of DID
recovery, you can achieve this with self
work to a certain degree, but this
process may be much easier with a
therapist that understands dissociative
disorders.  Sidran.org states that
survivors often feel that integration
of personalities is disrespectful of the
important role they have played in the
persons survival and the integration
should not be discussed with clients
until the later stages of therapy for
this very
reason. However there is often a
misconception of what integration means
and what fusion means, and the terms
often get overlapped. I said earlier
integration is literally about bringing
these parts closer together and lowering
these barriers and fusion is where parts
kind of blob together. Hang on--I'm gonna
get an example--okay, here's my example.
These two little playdough pieces right
so these are alters... parts... right?
Integration is literally bringing these
parts closer so they can maybe co-front,
they can be co-conscious, so you can do a
lot of good stuff together, and fusion is
where parts
mush together like this they are
essentially now a bigger part of the
overall whole.  But some systems choose to
stop at the safety and stabilization
stage without moving for final fusion
where the whole system, ends up looking like this
this is what the is ISSTD calls the
resolution stage: we've plateaued in
terms of our self recovery and self
monitoring which is why then we sought
specialist therapy to help progress us on
to step two which is about working
through our trauma. DID-research.org goes
on to state that people may remain at
this stage for several reasons so let's
have a little look at this list
not wanting to or understanding exactly
what fully integrating or fusing means
being afraid of not having alters--
because let's be fair, this life is all
we've ever known, uncertainty on how to
navigate the world if a certain part is
lost,
keeping alters close as an escapism or
for company and entertainment, not
wanting to lose associated attention
support or uniqueness, and even if
someone wishes to integrate this can be
made impossible by certain things such
as still being in an unsafe environment
with lots of life stressors; the parts
aren't going to stay together if there's
too many life stresses and they can fall
apart again
cannot bring themselves to fully accept
their trauma history can't access or
afford treatment from specialized
professionals, which i think is such a
common issue, or whereby comorbid
conditions override and interfere more
so than the DID, and did you know after
all of that, some therapists even
question whether or not once
somebody has
integrated, if it truly is like a fully
integrated person, and even some
therapists who push the client integrate--
which is a big no-no can I add-- permanent
integration cannot be forced if parts
are not ready and it may do a lot more
harm than good to recovery.  Parts need to
integrate at a pace that feels right to
them.
if you can imagine raindrops running
down on a windowpane, that gives you an
idea of what Fusion entails.  Neither
parts are gone or new but they are now a
larger part of the overall self, this
newly made part may be made up of
several others in the system with
several little bits of others in the
system, or just two bits.
the newly fused part may not even feel
like they've changed that much, or they
may identify completely differently than
the parts that have made them, them.
either way alters do not die, although
some people in the system may feel a
mourning period if those alters weren't
ready for those alters to integrate, or
to fuse, see even I'm getting my words
mixed up. Healthy fusions aren't forced
aren't rushed and are right for the
system should feel very joyous and
momentous because it is a platform for
healing, it is another way to say 'hey
we're becoming more whole than we
originally were', this brings down
dissociative barriers, helps with amnesia, and ultimately helps a person
function better.  The more you heal, fuse
and integrate, the less likely you are to
split again and even if a system decides
they don't want final fusion as an end
goal, which is becoming one over all
hole, sporadic fusions may happen over
time anyway with natural processing and
life experience of learning to adapt and
live with the  parts that you have. And on
a final note, it may take some time for
the dust to settle so to speak once a
fusion has happened. The
newly adapted skills and emotions and
sensations may kind of take a little
teething time to get by and if again the
fusion wasn't quite right the fusion can
fall apart and again may even end up
looking like this, so the
parts take away different parts of the
self again
and kind of in different ways, and again
may take some time to be put back
together again.  Parts may fall apart and
separate again under stress, newly fused
parts may take some time to stabilize
and that is 100% A-OK, because it's all
on the process of recovery.
Personally for us, we're not looking at
that bigger picture whether or not we're
going to finally fuse, for us it is one
day at a time, we want to recover from
the PTSD aspects to stop having those
horrible side effects that do come
obviously with having DID due to the
past trauma that we faced.  Healthy
multiplicity is also a choice, which is
essentially living as multiple but
without any trauma or PTSD issues
cropping up, so you've gone through all
that trauma therapy, and you end it on
the other side as multiple but without
anything kind of lingering and
unprocessed in your past. But that is
another video for another day. And that
is another puzzle pieced together! We hope
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thank you guys, bye-bye-bye!
