Hello, Mamaps! (Filipino slang word for female friend)
Hello, Papaps! (Filipino slang word for male friend) How are you?
Yes, and,
uh we have a very exciting video for all
of you, Mamaps (Filipino slang word for girl friend)
and,  Papaps (Filipino slang word for male friend).
And, what is that, Jec?
Sex on a first date! Oh, right?
And...Aren't we gonna be ban here?
No, as long as we keep it, what...
kosher at least. Alright...
What about sex on the first date Jec?
Well,
uh people are having...more and more people are
having sex on
the first date nowadays.
That's the fact, so, do you think, is it a
relationship killer? Or, do you think, it's okay?
So, Mamaps (Filipino slang word for female friend) and
Papaps (Filipino slang word for male friend),
I'd be able to ask Jec certain,
what, right...
racy questions.
And, let's get the opinion of a guy,
There...
So, Mamaps (Filipino slang word for female friend)
Papaps, (Filipino slang word for male friend)
don't go away.
So, Mamaps (Filipino slang word for female friend) and Papaps (Filipino slang word for male friend)
we're back in a very exciting topic, which is all about sex
sex and dating. There... And, on this video
we will, I will be able to ask certain questions
I'm always curious about
and, ask some of my male friends on what
they think about having sex on the first
date, there... Because
Mamaps (Filipino slang word for female friend)
and Papaps (Filipino slang word for male friend)
uh, if there's a flip side
on doing that, one, it can be a one-night stand,
and, the second, is
you can get into a relationship
after having sex on the first date.
There... and, I'm always curious, so,
Jec, if ever...because Mamaps (Filipino slang word for female friend) and
Papaps (Filipino slang word for male friend)
we have a conservative society
uh, but, of course, in other western culture
uh, that may not be so much of a deal breaker
but, uh in ours uh
I would like and I'm very curious
uh if for example, on this, Jec,
I'm not asking a third person
not others because
Mamaps and Papaps, let's
draw a certain truth out
from Jec. Are you all interested?
On your own personal opinion, for
example, if you are on a date,
and, you had sex on that with
that girl on the first date, majority of that
situation will you be able to have a relationship
or serious relationship with that girl?
Or,
uh you will never consider her uh in a...
in the category of having
a committed relationship? Because,
right? I don't know, if it's still
true in your generation,
but, in my generation,
those guys before, they will
think that if i was able to have sex with her
on the first date, then, they consider the girl
easy or, you know,
so, it is like they might have a relationship
with you like sexual relationship, but, they never...
they will never be serious with you.
There...
During my time,
majority. I'm not saying everything  Mamaps,
I mean, everyone my Mamaps and
Papaps, but, in
my generation,
that is the attitude of men,
so,
maybe, around ninety-seven percent, like that.
Wow, that's high. Yes, it is high because during my time,
you have to be a virgin.
You have to be a virgin if they marry you
Oh. There. But, today
it is not like that anymore
It is like the level of expectation...Oh
So, with you
personally first. There. For me, personally,
it is not a deal breaker um sex on the first date?
Yes.
Sex on the first date
because it is really happening.
Honestly speaking, huh. For those who are watching us,
because sex on the first date is
not necessarily a mistake
unless...unless it's all about physical, right?
No,
isn't it in the beginning it is really physical?
But, will you be able to consider that girl
to have a serious relationship? If the girl say yes
immediately on your first date? You can actually see if
it's going to be a serious relationship or not.
You're not going to be able to decide
on the first date, right? Just as sex on the
first date you won't be able to decide
if you're sexually compatible.
I'm asking you, Jec, huh. I'm not asking a third person, ha?
So, what you mean is, if have a sexual relationship
with a girl on a first date there is a chance
that you can still consider the girl
in a committed relationship or a serious
relationship, like marriage or something like that
later on? Oh, yes, oh, yes, it doesn't
necessarily mean it's a deal breaker.
Okay. It doesn't necessarily mean that
you will end up failing the relationship or
proceeding towards a more serious relationship
because uh one thing leads to another if
it leads to that, right?
But, unless there's really no chemistry, and,
you're just physically attracted to each other. And,
well, that has to be clear.
Because, sometimes if
you rule out immediately the long term relationship
after the sex on the first date, which is totally...
I don't really agree, that...
it's not good that way.
So, so, in your generation
or, the generation now
um that is nothing already? I mean it's
not. Not really.
So, if you will advise a girl uh which... I mean
uh will you still uh say uh...
you shouldn't have sex on a first date?
If you can wait,
if both of you can wait,
then, it's good if you can wait, right?
But, uh reality is .... reality versus
expectation, especially now. Okay
Right?
After the long
ECQ or quarantine...
Right? Right?
It saved a lot of things.
Yes, right. There's so much saved.
Yes. It's actually up to you.
So, case to case basis.
If I am speaking as human, I will not say I am safe
and not capable of having sex on a first date.
Or, I can have sex on the first date.
But, if you decide if to have sex on the first
date you have to be able to discuss it openly.
There should be trust, right?
On both sides.
Don't be too hard on yourself
because, I mean, if both of you have the same values
or, you have the same...
or you're on the same page,
then, it's okay. But, if you're not on the
same page, and, you didn't meet
like you forced her
well, naturally, the woman will not agree.
Or, men normally initiate
usually
But, the...the...my question, Jec,
is that in... in your generation now,
will the level of the guy
thinking that the girl is cheap
if she allows herself to have sex with him on
the first date, is how many percent? The way you see it.
I think when you are still both young,
yes. It will be high.
Ah, it will be high? So,
if the guy is still young, it won't be serious?
Something like that? Yes., because...It's like around
90%. Yes because, of course,
95%, like that? Yes.
Because, right? At that age, men will have a
lot of options.
They have opportunities
right? Yes.
So, from what age this percent kinda goes down?
From what age? I think, when
you're in your 30s
or towards mid-30s.
You don't want to beat around the bush about it, right?
You don't want to beat around the bush, and, mostly
you do honest and straight talk
when it comes to that. Okay. So,
Mamaps (Filipino slang word for female friend) and Papaps (Filipino slang word for male friend)
I always ask this question to some of my
male friends
because, for me, Mamaps and Papaps,
sex is in conjunction with love.
For me,
because I grew up on that generation
that I can only imagine myself uh
having sex with someone if I'm in love
with someone. Now, my question to you, Jec,
when you get, like for example, if it
becomes a one night stand,
what is the expectation of a guy to the girl
like for example, the following
day? Should the girl already leave or is she
going to be brought home? These are the
protocols, right? Like okay,
#1 protocol Mamaps (Filipino slang word for female friend)
and Papaps, #1, Jec?
How will a guy know that the girl is okay
with sex on the first
day or on the first time that they went out?
When it comes to those things
when you ask certain questions...personal
questions
like uh
For example, like
what do you wear when you sleep?
Okay
Normally, it's a
trust thing
right? If you feel you trust this person,
you can tell personal things about yourself.
Then, the other person is also the same
especially with women,
when she starts telling you really, really personal things,
I think this opens up the opportunity for you to
understand if you can go on a different
level other than being trivial because
first dates are usually trivial but when, then,
again, there are those who goes into
the date on the first date, but, they have
been talking to each other for a long time so, it's like
just a physical uh connection alone
because they have emotional connection prior to the
to the first date,
Ah, so, it's like phone pal or text mate?
Yes, that's really how it is.
Right? Yes, that what's happening now
Text mate, right? Yes
Okay. There are others who are already
talking but have not met each other yet.
Okay. For example...when they meet
a validation just occurs
in person, if
there's really sexual attraction.
And, more than sexual attraction,
normally,
when there's emotional connection,
it's easier to talk to the person,
it's easier to bring up the topic about
intimacy. Okay. Personal questions, like what is your
favorite brand of perfume, right?
There. I wanna smell...
personal uh...something like that, right?
Ah, for me...So...
those style because Mamaps and Papaps, it's like...
Not so good to hear
when you say style. No.
What I mean is, personally,
like for example one of the styles
of the guy
to make suave moves, for example,
you cross the street, then he will hold you
to assists you, right? While crossing
then, he will not let go anymore your hand.
Like that. There...
So, just the way
he held you, there's already something different.
One can actually sense
the touch of a friend
versus the touch of intent.
Tell us, Mamaps and Papaps, then,
do comment below if what i'm saying is true, right?
Like for example, if a guy
will uh give me
give me the drink, then,
there's graze...what's that? Graze?
Glance. No. It's when his hands will slightly
touch your hands while your holding a glass. Right?
While you are getting it.
Like that. There...There's sexual tone.
Right?
There...What's important
For me, what's important is that it's clear
from the very start.
Because it has to be clear to the woman
Well, because, usually, it's the guy who initiates.
And, I will not deny the fact
that men will always want
to get into into her pants.
Ah...The soonest
possible way...the soonest possible way
There...That's true.
There, Mamaps and Papaps, do watch
10 lies that men often say in order to get
into your pants...There
Okay, it's up to the girl if she determines
if the guy is sincere. Or,
enough for her to trust the guy to be intimate with him.
Okay. Now, second protocol.
Okay, so, uh for example you
are ...how do you... how do you define
the location to do it
Location? Location
Because you are in a date, right?
How do you? Google serch, huh? What I mean is
very casual, like uh for example, uh
to your place or do you go somewhere
where there is like this...This one doesn't
exists anymore, right?
Before, there are these during my time.
None already because
I think they went clean
For me, probably
I think you shouldn't immediately
bring her to a motel, right?
Right? So,
on location, normally...because I'm curious
where do you bring the person?
If you have your own place.
Or, in a hotel. Or, in her place?
Ah, okay.
It really depends, but,
there's something about
sleazy motels.
Because, there's something not so good about it.
I mean...
When you try to
make an impression
for example, with a woman
then, you actually want to be intimate
if you are going to bring her on a sleazy motel, it is like,
it has different feeling.
But, do you decide or the girl decide?
I think
you have to. Make the girl decide as well. So, you ask?
So, men normally ask? That's the protocol?
Well...Or, the girl
can suggests?
Yeah, probably, the girl can suggest
Okay. Unless the girl
is embarrass, right?
Okay. So, the third... the third protocol,
okay, after uh after doing it
Let's just say, because, for me, Mamaps and Papaps,
I don't think that
you know you are in love with the person when
you know on a first date or even if you are already
texting or calling each other, so, it is basically
physical desire, so, my question now is
after doing the deed, okay
normally, because, right? The girl tends to
like, you know, hugging and stuff like
that, but, it's like, should... should she expects a
certain caring gesture afterwards or does it really
depends on the guy? Normally, it depends on the guy.
Then, again if I would like
to tell the Papaps out there
for example, given a certain
situation,
try...try to
make it a wonderful experience for her.
And, not she will feel that you want to kick
her out immediately
out the door. Right?
Do you...
And, normally, is that like, isn't it sometimes
after doing the deed, you
become tired and you end up sleeping, right? So,
how about you, normally?
Should the girl...
How does the girl
you
know, how do you part ways
when you are in that situation?
For example...
you... you met and both of you have cars or for example
you asked her to leave her car, so,
she'll ride with you and
she ended up hitching a ride with you going
there, so,  what's that? Is it... is it uh
an obligation? Or, is it a protocol
that the... the the guy will
bring the girl to home or to the car or whatever
or, uh the girl can just go down and leave you
at peace? So, what's that?
What's the general?
Generally, I think
it's totally up to the girl
how she wants it. Because on the first date, you
should have talked about it
Either, are you
going to pick her up? Or,
she will bring her own car?
right? Yeah. Right? But, if...When it's like that, I think
If you think, there's really nothing
magical about it. Yes
except doing the deed.
It's best to be honest with each other.
Okay, but, let's just say, there's no magic,
do you bring the girl home or
the girl has to bring herself home?
Well, you have to, well, personally, just
personally speaking
if I am the one on that situation,
you have to give certain respect to the woman.
At least, bring her home, right?
Okay. You should at least bring her home.
Make sure that she's okay because if you plan
not to see her again. Okay
Make it...
let her sleep well first
and, then, just turn her down later
Okay. Next... next expectation. The
level expectation of the girl because
right?
A lot of guys will tell you uh
I'll give you a call or
I'll see you...I'll see you soon but
he's not really saying when
You know, or
do you know?
and, should the girl, if for example,
the guy doesn't call
the girl uh within that day,
for example, they already part ways
and, on that day, he didn't call you anymore,
is there a meaning on it? Or, what
because women generally
likes to hope
you know, and,
especially, in a our conservative
society
Still, I believe uh unless you are really
you know, you're young or whatever or
you're into it, normally, because the girl will expect
a certain, you know, response from
the guy after that night, right?
So, the...
what is...what is...
the period of time
that the girl can still expect
that the guy will still call
or, something like that, the follow through
something like that. That when that time passes,
she shouldn't expect anymore.
You are really putting me on the spot, doc, huh?
Oh, no.
We are speaking in general
Oh, normally? There...
Because we are not psychiatrist,
not psychologist, we are not writers.
So, we withdraw from our own experiences
and, through the experiences of our
friends, so, uh what's the typical
that you will say...
"Girl, don't expect anymore, he will not...
that is it...
That's already a one night stand versus on what..."
Well, if there's inconsistency
I don't think...
You will know prior and after
Right? Prior to the deed and after the deed.
If there's a significant difference in consistency
and interest, the level of interest, you should know
right? There's some sort of denial,
denial stage when it comes to women. Right?
That's why.
So, what I mean is, probably,
because what if actually the guy just really got busy
Right? It is possible. For example,
Right?
So, what's the
duration of period wherein
you will say, "Girl,
forget it." Right?
"He is not into you anymore." I don't think there's a
certain time frame, but, if
if the inconsistency is consistent
they should know.
Because with me,
I believe, huh? Because...
uh I know when a guy really loves you or
has a at least an emotional attachment
on you versus physical
Because, for me,
on those situations, Mamaps and Papas
if you agree, with what I'm saying give us a thumbs up
and, uh you know, please hit that subscribe button
and, click that...what Jec? Notification bell
Yes, notification bell uh
so, that every time we upload the video
you will be notified. There...so
For me,
if a guy doesn't notify you
even on the day itself, just for me unless
he got into an accident or something
like that. If the guy really enjoyed the night with
you. I don't think it will go beyond a day.
That's for me.
Because whether...like
for example,
he like what happened
he will be faster than a speeding bullet
that he would like to repeat it again
So, I don't think
he will wait another 24 hours
before he will contact you. Now, Mamaps and Papas,
let's just be clear, there's a difference between, you
know, having a serious relationship
and, follow through with what happened
For example, if the guy retains his interest on you, then,
there is a chance, but, if the guy doesn't even
text you or uh, you know,
in the entire day after you
separated, I don't think the guy would like to
do it again.
At the least. Like that...Oh, so,
Let's say, for example
What...What will uh bound you uh
to have a relationship with the girl?
If you had sex with her,
it is like, you
already had the cake, so, and, you eat it too.
So, what is the
what is the factor besides the physical desire
for the girl...you... for you to build
relationship with the girl
if you already had it. So, yeah, well, yeah yeah
No, it's not...
sex on the first date strategy or
is the best circumstance
that you should go.
I think, it is really better
that you have emotional connection
So, it just happens probably
that you have emotional connection
that's why you had sex on the first date.
But, after the first date,
after the first sex on the first date,
and, you still don't have chemistry,
I think it's not the most ideal situation you're gonna be in
because you already had your cake and you eat it.
That's it. You just said, right?
And, then, what else is there to be curious about
right ? Okay. Except trying to get to know
the person inside out.
So, what... so...we will end in a positive note, right?
I'm curious. Let's just say, how do you get from the guy...
How do you know that it is not just about
sex, but, you really care for the girl?
Because it is like, for example, you had the date,
let's just say, the scenario Mamaps (Filipino slang word for female friend)
and Papaps (Filipino slang word for male friend)  is you
started with the text...call... call
then, you, you met for the first time had sex
and, then,
uh you did it again, you know, so
when when do a guy really knows that this
is not just sex, it's really about you know uh
loving or caring for this person? What,
what is the distinction?
Because if you're talking about,
you are talking about
like establishing something long-term, right?
No, but, what is your
distinction to know... like, for example.
I think, I'm confusing Papa Jec.
Like, for example,  for me, Mamaps and Papas
I have a lot of male friends
and, I know that a male friend is just
gonna be a friend
and, not anymore, you know, something else
if i cannot imagine kissing the friend
For example,
if i have a male friend and
no matter how handsome he is
you know, if I cannot imagine
kissing that guy, I know for sure that we
are just friends.
That's my question to you.
If you already had sex with the girl, you
know, you have repeated it more than
more than once, then, how do you now
know that it can lead to a more
serious relationship?
My question to you, Jean
Why will you date someone
if you cannot imagine
that you can kiss him or something
possible can happen to you both? Right?
Because, on male friends, I know when
we will be just friends because I am not
physically attracted to him.
So, you don't, you don't date him?
That's why, that's why I know that he
will just be a friend ever and ever.
That is my question to you.
What is it that will let you know
this is just for sex and you, you know, if
you are already seeing the girl
for example, you... you had sex and then
you are you continually date, but, how do
you know as a guy that this can be
something else. You know what I'm saying?
I'm just
I'm just comparing the... the situation
When the guy introduces you to his friends,
family...Ah
Okay
there's something more personal
about everything
So, you're not secret anymore
Yes, you're not a secret
He is not
I mean, there are certain things that he's very vocal
in telling you without you asking for him to
tell you something about himself
There....Openness, I think a man being open to a woman
Okay, so, there Mamaps and Papas
that's the tip, when you have sex
on the first date and then you do it
again and then you're trying to figure
out if it's gonna, it's going to be
a more committed relationship, there...
If you are not being introduced to friends
to the family
Nothing. It's only up to there.
There.
Blame yourself as you had sex on the first date.
but, if you are introduced, then,
you won.
Okay, so, Mamaps (Filipino slang word for female friend)
and Papaps (Filipino slang word for male friend)
please, give us a thumbs up if you like
this topic and do comment below
uh on what you think about uh having sex
on the first date. Because, for me,
personally, Mamaps (Filipino slang word for female friend),
and Papaps (Filipino slang word for male friend), what...
I would like to try.
Because I'm... I'm in the age that I can try
There... I'm curious.
Oh, there, all right.
Okay, Jec, what's your parting ways to
the Mamaps and Papaps, what can you advice
when it comes to that?
Don't berate yourself too much
if you've done it on the first date, right?
Because sometimes it is not your fault.
It is both your choice as an adult
So, we are talking to the adult audience
This is just for adults, huh?
if you are like very,very young in your early 20s, I would suggest
not to do it on a first date because most men
would be really...really trying to explore.
Okay. It is like you are a notch
on their bedpost. There...Alright. So,
So, but, if you're lucky...
if you're lucky, it could be something
new, because it's a start of really sharing
yourself to someone.
But, in many cases, if it is no, then, it's just a
really a one night stand.
Yes.
But, I agree with you... don't, for women
especially
Mamaps (Filipino slang word for female friend) especially
that they might end up blaming
themselves, why they did that. For me,
if you do ...if you did the deed
then, just you know, just enjoy.
Just enjoy the ride, right? Right?
Especially, if you're already an adult. There...As I've said
Jec and I are the same. Those who are in their twenties
25 below, don't do it yet.
That's for me, huh? Enjoy first
the real dating first, right?
there...
But, for those, who are of age already
they can be responsible and
my advice, often is
when I'm being asked by my nieces
In regards to sex, what I tell them is one, if
you have a baby,
unexpected pregnancy and it is okay with you.
Second, if you have a disease
that came there due to that, it is okay as well with you.
Third, if you don't see the guy ever again, it is also okay with you.
When on these 3 questions, your answer is all yes, Mamaps then,
Okay to have sex on the first date.
Okay, there, Mamaps and Papaps
Thank you so much for staying.
And, we hope that you enjoyed this topic
Okay. Bye-bye
Be safe. Be safe.
Bye-bye
