Good Morning Hank! It's Tuesday.
So on Friday, we asked Nerdfighters to share their 
problems with us and with each other.
And they did so and I am here to help!
As the poet hath wrote,
"If you got a problem, yo, I'll solve it."
Let's get right to it!
"My laptop overheats so I can't play games."
You probably just need to clean your laptop stand 
but if that doesn't work -
Behold! A beautiful twenty dollar cooling pad!
"I feel that spiders are a big problem in the world."
Well,  the lack of spiders would be a much bigger problem.
But anyway, the solution to your problem is
192 pages long and it is beautiful 
and it's called 'Charlotte's Web'
Read it immediately.
"I'm scared of the dark."
Yeah, as well you should be. It's terrifying. 
Just be grateful you're not a vampire.
"My biggest problem is my sister. 
She is annoying and a vampire."
Yeah well to be fair she's probably annoying 
because she's a vampire.
Vampires don't have it easy. 
Even the sparkly kind have their struggles.
So you have to find a way to put yourself in 
your sister's vampiric shoes.
The two keys to sibling vampiric relationships,
Number 1, empathy. Number 2, no biting.
"I hate when you're about to sit on the one seat left on 
the bus but someone takes the seat."
Right, so the thing to do with that situation is to assume
Even if it's improbable that that person needs 
the seat more than you do.
It may not be true but it will be very helpful to you 
in terms of keeping sane
Particularly in like parking lots around Christmas.
"My clothes dryer just set off my fire alarm. Dear alarm, WORK BETTER!"
Okay, so I'm just going to throw this out there
I'd be more worried about the dryer than the alarm
Because it seems to me that the alarm is working perfectly.
"I never know what to do and I always invent a reason not to do stuff."
Yeah this is a common problem because the easiest thing for us to do
Is the thing that we're currently doing which is usually nothing.
But I have 3 quick suggestions
1) Go to an art museum by yourself
2) Read some poetry
3)Using Google Maps find a nearby park that has some walking trails
and then walk around them doing amateur birdwatching
but inventing names for each of the birds you discover.
"MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS BROKEN!"
OH GOD, PANIC! No just kidding. 
If you have a Mac you can disable
your Capslock button in system preferences
And if you have a PC you should get the free application 'Key Tweak'. Link in the doobly doo.
"I have stairs that have an open space between the steps and I'm scared someone's going to grab my ankles."
Yeah  I'm not sure I see that as a problem. 
Let's suppose somebody does grab your ankes
All they have is your ankle. You can still reach into your pocket and call 911.
And if in the meantime they want to come get you, they have to come out
From under the staircase and run up the stairs during which time you can run up the stairs
Lock the door on them and leave them there until the police come.
Frankly of all the possible home intruder outcomes, grabbed by the ankle is like the best!
"The book store in my mall closed down and 
it was replaced by an eyebrow design store."
Wow, that is depressing. I have 2 solutions
First, design your own eyebrows
And second, buy books at bookstores!
If you want bookstores to exist, support them.
The way that you spend your money shapes the world in which we live.
"Hufflepuff discrimination"
Yeah I know right but Hufflepuff don't care.
"My problem is a lack of community for beginning writers."
Check out figment.com. Link in the doobly doo.
"It's much easier to watch from afar than to participate in things."
That's true but it's a lot more fun to participate so here are 3 easy ways to be nerdfightastic
1) If you haven't joined Kiva.org, you can still make your first loan to an entrepreneur in the developing world  for free
There's a link- woah woah woah woah woah- link in the doobly doo.
I almost went down there but I didn't.
2)You can read Fahrenheit 451
And 3) Why not take a few minutes to respond to some comments? With niceness.
Being nice is surprisisngly entertaining.
"I have spelling problems that limit how nerdy I can be."
I totally disagree with your premise. My brother is a terrible speller and a tremendous nerd.
"I'm an older Nerdfighter."
Yeah so am I. To help you less alone I have created a facebook group for us. There's a link in the doobly doo.
"I can't find Nerdfighters who live in my area."
You should look on facebook and the ning and in your pants, context is everything
because there are a lot of location specific Nerdighter  groups.
"I have a slight fear of being drowned by mermaids."
Aah don't worry about that, you'll be fine.
Well, until the human voices wake you.
Hank, I'll see you on Friday.
