MOVING ON.
HOW ARE WE ALL DOING TODAY?
IF YOU HAVE BEEN WATCHING THE
SLOW THE LAST FEW NIGHTS, IAN,
ONE OF OUR HEAD WRITERS WHO
USUALLY JOINS US ON THE SHOW IS
NOT IN TODAY.
HE ATE SOME UNDERCOOKED SHRIM
AND HAS FOOD POISONING.
NOT SURE HOW THAT HAPPENS.
ONE OF OUR WRITERS IS FILLING
IN.
NATE.
HOW YOU GOING DOING?
HE LOOKS SO FIRED UP TO BE HERE.
>> GOOD.
>> James: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
UP TO.
>> BEING MY USUAL WILD SELF, YOU
KNOW.
THREW ON SOME ROCK AND ROLL
RECORDS THIS WEEKEND, GOT A
SIXER OF BEER, BECAME A TOTAL
STAMP TRAMP, YOU KNOW.
>> James: BECAME A WHAT?
A STAMP TRAMP.
>> James: I DON'T KNOW IF I
CAN HEAR YOU.
YOU SAY YOU GOT A TRAMP STAMP?
>> NO, A TRAMP STAMP IS A
SUGGESTIVE TATTOO IN THE LOWER
BACK.
WHAT I AM IS A STAMP TRAMP.
>> James: I DON'T THINK
ANYBODY HERE KNOWS WHAT A STAMP
TRAMP IS.
IS A STAMP TRAMP A THING?
>> OH, BELIEVE ME, IT IS, JAMES.
I GET OUT MY CREDIT CARD, I GO
TO USPS.com AND I ORDER A
BUNCH OF STAMPS -- I'M TALKING A
NAUGHTY AMOUNT OF STAMPS, IF YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
( LAUGHTER )
>> James: BUT I DON'T.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I DON'T THINK I WOULD EVER CALL
ANY AMOUNT OF STAMPS "NAUGHTY."
>> WELL, OBVIOUSLY YOU
>> WELL, OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVEN'T
SEEN THE POSTAL SERVICE'S MORE
ADULT STAMP SELECTION.
>> James: I HAVE NOT.
I HAVEN'T SEEN A STAMP IN YEARS.
>> I BOUGHT THIS STAMP.
THEY ARE PRETTY STEAMY.
I'M NOT SURE WE CAN EVEN SHOW IT
ON TV, BUT I'LL TRY.
>> James: IT'S TOMATOES.
>> JAMES, IT'S A BUNCH OF JUICY
FRUIT AT SOME SORT OF NAKED
PARTY.
>> James: IT'S VEGETABLE-THEMED
POSTAGE.
>> I KNOW, IT'S PRETTY SHOCKING,
I KNOW.
BUT THIS IS THE KIND OF HARDCORE
THING I'M INTO NOW, JAMES.
BECAUSE I'M A STAMP TRAMP.
>> James: I NEVER THOUGHT I'D
SAY THIS, BUT I MISS IAN.
( LAUGHTER )
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
>> I DIDN'T STOP THERE.
NO.
I DIDN'T STOP THERE.
I GOT A WHOLE PACK OF THESE
BOYS.
>> James: THAT'S ARNOLD PALMER.
>> IT SURE IS.
AND THIS STAMP MAKES ME WANNA
MIX SOME ICE TEA WITH LEMONADE,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
>> James: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
YOU MEAN.
>> THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A PRUDE
AND ME?
I'M A GRADE-A STAMP TRAMP.
I JUST DROPPED FIFTY BUCKS ON
THESE SAUCY LITTLE STICKIES.
>> James: SAUCY LITTLE STICKIES?
WHAT?
>> YES, THESE LUSCIOUS LITTLE
LICKABLES.
>> James: LICKABLES?
NATE, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE
BUYING EXTRA STAMPS TO HELP THE
UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE.
THIS IS YOU JUST BEING A GOOD
CITIZEN.
>> OH, REALLY?
WOULD A GOOD CITIZEN DO THIS?
AAAHHH!
, AHHH.
>> Jams: YEAH, GOOD PEOPLE
LICK ENVELOPES.
MAYBE NOT LIKE THAT.
>> DON'T SHAME ME, JAMES.
>> James: THAT'S NOT WHAT I
HAVE TO MEAN.
>> Reggie: I HAVE TO AGREE
WITH NATE, THOSE ARE SOME TRAMPY
LITTLE STAMPIES.
>> James: NOT YOU AS WELL,
REGGIE.
>> BASICALLY, JAMES, THESE ARE
TOASTY LITTLE TOASTIES.
>> James: OKAY, TOASTY
TOASTIES!
>> THEY'RE SASSY LITTLE
SQUAREYS.
>> James: STOP.
I ALSO CALL THEM (  BLEEP  )
STAMPS.
>> James: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
DOING.
YOU'RE BUYING STAMPS, THAT IS A
TOTALLY NORMAL, WHOLESOME THING.
>> SURE, SURE.
I GUESS BUYING STAMPS IS A GREAT
WAY, TO YOU KNOW, SUPPORT THE
POSTAL SERVICE AND, YES, THE
POSTAL SERVICE PLAYS A HUGE ROLE
IN PROCESSING VOTE BY MAIL
BALLOTS AND, OF COURSE, I'M
WORRIED THAT THE CURRENT
ADMINISTRATION IS UNDERMINING
THE POST OFFICE IN AN ATTEMPT TO
SUPPRESS THE VOTE IN THE
UPCOMING ELECTION.
>> James: YES, THAT'S WHAT I'M
SAYING!
>> BUT THAT IS NOT WHY I BUY
STAMPS, JAMES.
I DO IT BECAUSE I HAVE TO.
I DO IT BECAUSE I'M A SICK
LITTLE BISCUIT!
I DO IT BECAUSE I AM A TRAMP FOR
THE STAMP!
READ IT AND WEEP, JAMES!
( LAUGHTER )
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
YOU GET IT?
BECAUSE --
>> James: NO, WE ALL GET IT.
BACK HAS TWO MEANINGS HERE.
>> James: I UNDERSTAND.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> IT'S A HOMONYM.
>> James: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH MAYA RUDOLPH AND FRED
ARMISEN, EVERYBODY!
