Welcome back to The Marathon Session.
This is part two, so if you have't seen part
one, here's a card in the corner, go watch
that one.
If you have, sorry to stall ya, on to Saw
V
Guys, I have wonderful news
What?
We are halfway through these movies
Ugh
We started
We started at 11:00
And it's been eight hours
And we've gone through four movies
That means for the next four movies
We'll be done at 3:00 in the morning
Oh, I sure hope not
This is the worst mistake I ever made
Saw V guys, are you ready?
Define ready
Not ready, just willing
Willing is strong
I'm only willing because of the sunk cost
fallacy
Tell me, Sheen, um, you said Saw V might be
a return to form
Do you still believe this?
No, I don't
I don't
My theory was that somehow they'd
wrap up the current characters' arcs
But somehow they've found an asinine way to extend them
Found a way to make even more loose ends
They just keep taking a minor character from
the previous movie and just making them the main
character in the next movie
All of the characters with these obsessions
have four-letter names with letters three
and four bring the exact same
Think about it
Detective Tapp, we have Jeff
Rigg
Rigg, yeah!
Oh, yeah, wow, you're right
Yeah!
That's really odd and a weird pattern to notice,
but...
I'm starting Saw V
What about Detective Sipp?
Or Detective Succ?
Detective Succ, S-U-C-C?
Matthew and I have pulled out the chardonnay
because
we hate this
Oh! There they go!
Gunshot!
Pew!
We're watching this man be literally thrown
ap-
torn apart with his intestines thrown all
over the place and we just don't give a shit
I know
We're so desensitized
I know
I'm not
I'm still sensitized
Okay, that word does not work the other way around
All I'm saying is that in Saw: The Final Chapter,
the puppet better be sentient and behind it
all
Yes!
Wow
That's the Civ V logo
Op!
Why are we still here?!
Why are we still here?!!
Did Jigsaw plan for this man to just be here?
"Hello, Agent Strahm"
Oh my GOD!
They try to make flaws out of absolutely nothing like
I swear to god, Saw VII's gonna be like, "Hello
Detective who was, like,
there three movies ago,
I see you like helping childrens in,
children in orphanages"
They needed to save themselves
Oh there's somethin' coming, guys, let me squint
real fast
What the-
Uh, you guys see, what's that, ah, ah, ah
It's the shot
Ah
Okay, but he doesn't have the rules yet
Yeah, what are the rules?
This isn't, like, a game, it's just creative killing now
Just drink it! Drink it really fast!
Okay, the little girl is okay
I mean, she's a fucking orphan
I don't think she's gonna be okay
She's the main character!
Oh, did you see that fade?
That was good filmmaking right there
Do not use the word Saw V and good film-making...
I did not use he word Saw V
He has like the exact face of like a mayor or something
He just has a punchable face
He does
As, I guess, mayors tend to do
We can skip until the very end when we get
the recap montage
Look at this Donald-Trump-lookin-ass
Okay, here we go.
We got a whole new...
--Whole new cast
--...victim pull
She's my favorite
Why?
Cuz she hasn't done anything yet to not be
my favorite
What about him? He's my favorite.
Nah, but she's pretty, so I guess she wins
--Ooo!
--Oh, okay
--Op!
--Oh shit
Dammit, she was my favorite!
This is already better than,
than 4
That's what we said about 4
at this point
One of my best friends back home's last name is Hoffman
That's so interesting, Sheen. Thank you so much for telling us this
"Boyfriend kills detective's sister"
Why would that be the headline?
Fuck
Again, one minute.
It's only ever one minute
Minute to Win It: Extreme Edition
Every time we say we like one of them, they
just die
I know
OOO HOO!
What?!
WHAT?!
No, this is a flashback
Okay, okay
You'd be surprised how easy chloroform is
to obtain
Sheen, why do you know that?
Don't worry about it
So that's Hoffman's sister, the guy that the
pendulum guy killed
Then Hoffman killed that guy, and now Jigsaw
has kidnapped Hoffman
Because he killed him pretending he was Jigsaw
But this is all in the past
This movie's actually a lot better than 3
and 4
No, I'm enjoying this so far, actually.
Sheen, I don't know if Sheen's enjoying it
because Sheen is playing Yu-Gi-Oh
No, I'm looking at a Buzzfeed article
Well, I'm so glad we have finally tracked
the fucking pen light
Oh my god
The PEN?!
If there was anything they didn't show for
better or for worse, they're just fuckin'
showin' it now
"You're assuming this is going to play out
the way you want it"
It will
"I assume nothing"
--You do 
--You fuckin' do, shut up
How they write the movies is they gather up
all the plotholes from the previous movie
and find a way to explain it
I cannot believe they've managed to somehow
get Jigsaw into this movie so prominently
when he died two fucking movies ago
Somebody has to take a bath
You were all smelly at the Smash Bros. tournament
If this took place in the past, I swear to god
We walk in again and it's just a bunch of
corpses that have like aged for years
and we're just like god dammit
"When the beaker fills up, the door opens."
"Fills with what?"
"Blood."
You could piss in the hole
Piss in the hole!
Piss in the hoooole!
Here's a fucking tip
If you see this shit, don't go in the room
Leave the fucking room!
"Hello, Agent Strahm."
How does he...
How?
HOOOOW?!
I wanted him to answer it
Hello?
Hello?
What?
Who is this?!
Now the question is how much of this are we
gonna fuckin' see
I don't under- there was no twist though!
--Oh!
--OHHHWWWOOA
NOOOOO!
NO!
Sir!
Stop that!
--That's the end of the fucking movie
--There was no twist!
There was no twist
That's fine
No, I
Now I want a twist
They ran out of twists
Well you know what,
They twisted it too many times, and they twisted
it off
The lack of the twist...
--...is the twist
--No, fuck you!
That was better than the other ones
It was better than the other two
Not by like a ton
Here's an interesting bit
The original screenplay called for the two
main female characters to be in their underwear
the whole time
but the production team decided against this
when they realized
how committed and serious the two actresses
were about the roles
--I hate that SO much
--I hate that SO much
--What the hell?
What?
This is also the first film in the series
where a character does not say "game over"
at the climax
And I gotta say
I miss it
Shut the fuck up
In Saw V, it picks up directly after Saw III/Saw IV
and follows the FBI agent from Saw IV
He's trying to find the accomplice of Jigsaw
from Saw IV,
Detective Hoffman,
and then he dies
Cuz of course, Jigsaw knew that the FBI agent
would discover that Hoffman was actually the
other accomplice
so he planned a whole other thing specifically
to get Agent Strahm
and he had that planned out
on his deathbed
A decent amount of this movie was showing
them set up, setting up the traps for the first couple
Saw movies, which was not very...
There's no point! There's no point in that
No
I did like the main Jigsaw trap
The five people that were supposed to trust
each other?
Oh yeah, yeah
That was actually pretty cool
Yes
Saw is better when we just introduce new characters
Jigsaw is in this movie so much
He has a lot of screentime
He's been dead for two movies
He's been dead for two movies
Wh- wh- wh- what was in the fucking booooox
There wa, he gave his widow a box
The box
Well I'm sure we'll find out all about the
box in Saw VII
Not the next movie, Saw VII
Wait there was a fucking part where they show
the goddamn guy who showed up, who showed up already a corpse in the first Saw
Ugggghhh
They really gotta bleed this franchise dry,
don't they?
--Get out of here, Tristan, you're not even in
--♫Bleed it out, digging deeper
--fucking frame
--just to throw it away♫
♫I bleed it out!♫
Bleed it out
I'm so tired
This series has just become shit's happening
and characters are just going along with it
And then they die
And then they die, yeah
--It's like...
--And then it goes
♫buh-deh-duh
buh-deh-duh
buh-deh-DUH
buh-deh-duh
duh-deh-duh
buh-deh-DUH
DUH-DUH-DUH
DUH-DUH-DA
DUH-DUH-DAAA
Saw V was not as bad as Saw IV and III
Wait, which one was...
2 is the one with the terrible plot twist
Yes
No, sorry, 4 is the one with the terrible
I hate this
4 is the one with the terrible plot twist
3 is the one that was just bad and boring
5 is nicer because it doesn't have the crappy plot twist
There was a lot of boring stuff in it
It wasn't good by any means
But the actually thriller death trap part
Was actually pretty interesting
Maybe it was the chardonnay
but at the same time
I didn't mind watching this movie
I would never watch it again
So I think I am gonna give this--
No, this is bullshit, I'm giving this a three and a half
Get up here and rate Ho-
Saw fucking V
Ah!
I've only watched snippets and yet I feel
like I'm less confused than you guys
Because it focuses on like the FBI agents,
it feels even more like a cop drama than like
it did before
And it always felt like a cop drama
It was boring
But it wasn't, like, awful
It's also a 3.5 from me
I don't wanna keep talking about it
Here you go, Marcie, now talk about it
The game with the, with the multi-room puzzle was very...
I don't know, I liked them a lot
It made the other two movies better in retrospect
Did you like the backstory?
Well, yes, actually
I'm gonna be giving this, uh,
a seven
A seven! For Saw V.
Justify it, Marcie, I am shocked
First of all, like,
I may be ti-
First of all, I understand that, like,
The thing is that this movie actually REA-
This movie was as intriguing as the first one
--if I'm being perfectly honest
--Really?
Honestly, in terms of tying up the loose ends,
it was a good job, honestly
They tied up the loose end of the fucking pen
Goddammit
I'm so tired
Sheen!
You gonna fuckin' say anything?
These movies can suck my dick
--...is not a good movie! 
--It's not a good movie!
You, you, you're tired!
That is a 4 at MOST!
IT'S NOT A GOOD MOVIE!
--Follow the rules!
--You're wrong!
Your opinion is wrong!
Make your choice! Live or die!
I will make my choice!
I'll make my choice to know
that it's a fucking 4 at most!!
Can I do my review now?
You don't get a fuckin' review
You haven't--
You see this?
I'd like to give it a 10 for my humor at watching
you guys watch
Fuck off!
Let's get the pizza, let's just...
we're late, let's just get the pizza
Hey, so like, uh, what the hell is going on right now?
Can we get the pizza?! Can we?!
I'm loo...
I don't know if it's ready yet!
What time is it gonna be ready?
Let's go get the fucking pizza
Did we add it yet?
You're a disciple?
YOU'RE a disciple?
--I'M a disciple! 
--Seventeen, it's seventeen!
-We're all disciples!
-It's seventeen, my god
Oh you're on of those guys that puts the little
line through the seven?
No, I wrote a seven here, before
Then why'd you put a line through the seven that time?
Because I was trying to make a point
Sorry, I stopped filming, but Marcie just
said that 5 tied things together
What the
FUCK
did you mean by that?
Look, 4 was like, OHH, hoo-de-doo,
the detective guy's the, the, bad guy now, duh
Even if it was a little bit coming off of
a shaky basis
A little bit?!
Little bit
A little bit?!
Little bit
A LITTLE BIT?!
Listen
Just because a building can have, like, kind
of like a crappy interior so long as it's
got a strong found--
Well, you know what, actually, I'm talking
about Saw here
Obviously there's a crappy foundation and
it's a well-made building
I will break this TV if we don't get pizza
Okay
Let's go get pizza
To the batmobile!
We took like a 10-minute reprieve from this bullshit
and we're about to watch Saw VI
Wish us luck!
Is that all you gotta say?
--That's all I gotta say
--This one won't be done til 11:00 at least
I'm excited
Let's start it!
No, we can't just say that, that can't be
it
--That's all I wanna say
--I'm gonna put a whole fuckin' gong sound effect
and all that
It's good pizza
No it's fuckin' not, it's Pizza Hut
Pizza Hut is the Saw...
is the Saw IV of pizza
Not, not, not with stuffed crust
The soft what of pizza?
The Saw IV
The softcore?
Saw!
IV!
What else would I be talking about?!
Kill me
But preferably not in a Jigsaw trap
I hate their stupid logo
I hate this fuckin' font
I do think I'm going to have some pretty
disturbing dreams tonight
This is a great weight-loss method
I don't, I don't think so
Well, I don't think Strahm is coming back
from this
Ooo.
That's fuckin' gross.
You know what? It is.
What the hell was that device?
It's a fingerprint device, obviously
Oh, we didn't get to see what was in the,
uh box.
What's in the box?
What's in the box?
What's in the crate?
I think someone should tell the writers and
producers that he died three movies ago
Cuz I don't think they noticed
Okay
Wait, so that autopsy happens now
In Saw VI
Why?!
I hate every actor in this series
Even Cary Elwes now
They didn't give him rehearsals and they used
the first take
No one's gonna do good under those circumstances
They call me one-take Sheen
Who's they, you?
No
Real quick, I just wanna say, this guy has
a gun
--Oh yeah, he does have a gun
--And he's not shooting.
I would- okay,
If somebody just walks into your fucking office
do you just fucking shoot them?
There! See, this guy does
Did they take his fucking kidney?
413?
413 that's the Homestuck number!
That's the HOMESTUCK number
I'm so tired, I feel like I should just retroactively
rank every movie a point down
There it is, oh, jumpscare, oh whoa
I'm so scared
Sooo spooked
I love that fucking, like, pouty lip this guy does
Bleh bleh bleh
I'm gonna go kill these guys
I hate this guy's face so much
I know, I wanna punch it real bad
"But you're not taking into consideration
the most important human element of all"
And that's that, Jigsaw?
The will to live
"The will to live"
Whoa!
Woo!
Sheen's fuckin' asleep
--Marcie hasn't said anything in the last goddamn
--I'm awake!
--two hours
--I'm awake
Yu-Gi-Oh's under maintenance right now
What would be the worst twist they could pull
He's actually alive
I don't know how they would do it
I told you, fuckin' necromancy
At this point if Jigsaw isn't just the puppet
Oh my fucking
I'm going to be very upset
You need to shut up about the goddamn puppet
Watch me be right, watch me
You're not gonna be fucking right!
"In the far East, people pay their doctors
when they're healthy"
Just go East
Just go East?
What the fuck does that mean?
--He said, he said in the East
--I'm on board. I'm on board
He said, like, like,
You telling him to move to fucking, like, Japan?
Yeah
Hey!
What are you tryin' to say about Japan?
Nothing!
But like you want him to--
What are you trying to say about my people, Matthew?
I didn't know you were Japanese
Are you Japanese?
I'm half
I didn't know that
I've seen, like, shows where people will have like
a dead best friend that only they can see
And they get less screentime than this
This is actually pretty fuckin' sick
Yeah, no, this is interesting
The kills have been way more interesting this
movie
Yeah!
I feel like there's some kind of joke I can
make about this being a metaphor but I'm honestly too tense
I don't know, I think their relationship is
pretty steamy
--AaaaAAAA
--There it is!
He gets stabbed every time he saves someone
The point he's trying to make is sometimes it's good to
sacrifice something to save a life
Like the monetary, money in the company
♫ How to save a life ♫
Fuck you Sheen!
Fuck you Sheen!
Fuck you Sheen!
Fuck you Sh--
Nobody else is gonna join in that?
Fuck, no
Stop shooting!
--28 stab wounds
--Come on, don't
Who is left to be the fucking protagonist now?
28 stab wounds!
"Kill Lynn Denlon
or I will tell John what you did"
I know what happened
No, yeah, we all know what happened
Nah, what, no no no no, say it
What happened?
Well, I'm paying attention to this
Nobody will fuckin' tell me what happened!
Now they all die
Yeah, you idiots
Oh no, wait
--It's going, it's going into him!
--Fuck!
Fuck!
"Game Over"
Agh!
Okay can somebody just tell me the twist?
Please, please let him die
I don't wanna see him anymore
Oh my god, he's alive
Come on!
Come
the FUCK on!
So the twist was
when, in Saw III,
Just say it!
In Saw...
Just SAY IT!
I'm saying it!
In Saw III, when, when, Amanda
shot the doctor
she didn't want to shoot the doctor
She only shot the doctor because
Hoffman knew that she was the one who
encouraged Cecil to go get the drugs,
which led to the death of the
unborn child
That was-- I knew that.
--And that was Amanda's letter
--That was the twist
That was the twist?!
That was it
Why didn't you just say that?
--Because...
--Well, Amanda's letter
I couldn't focus on the last ten minutes of
the movie
cuz I was thinking about what the twist could
be
when I knew what the twist was!
I'm writing my fucking score right now
--Wait, hold up, hold up
--No, I'm not,
I'm mad I'm writing my score right now
You can't write your score when you're mad, hold up
Sheen are you okay?
I don't think he's okay
Sheen are you good?
Why is it a 3.5, Sheen?
No, no, no, no, no no. I'm not--
Oh it's a 4!
Okay, why's it--
Is that three... is that a smaller 3.5?
Why-- you gonna tell us anything about--
I'm done with these fucking movies!
The other part of the twist, though, was that
Jigsaw knew this... no.
(Kyle) So Jigsaw isn't dead
No, he is.
He's still dead
--The other part of the twist...
--He still has
an ungodly amount of screentime
in this movie considering he's fucking dead
And he died three fucking movies ago
It's been three movies!
What happened to the Hammond dude?
Uh, Hoffman?
We found out that he was screwing with Jigsaw's
plans before because he was,
had a feud with Jigsaw's other disciple
And then Jigsaw's ex-wife found this out
And
Jigsaw also kind of knew this for some reason
Cuz he wanted to kill Hoffman
Or he wanted to put Hoffman to a test?
Look, this movie didn't make any sense in
the end
Saw VI had good traps
Yes, no, it had the
The scenarios that they put it in were exciting!
--Oh, wait 
--Wait
There's a fucking after-credits scene?!
"Don't trust the one who saves you"
She's gonna be a main character
You're fucking kidding me
--Oh my god
--They're bringing back the little girl from
Saw III
Hm!
Have there been after credit scenes the whole
fucking time?
I, I, I don't know
Well, do you wanna check?
No!
So, yeah, the situations that the guy was
put in were honestly,
all of them were really interesting
They were so not Jigsaw's MO though
because so many random innocent people died
Everyone is supposed to have a chance
This is the only Saw film to have a post-credits scene
Okay
--Okay
--So we didn't miss anything
I'm glad I just left on the credits
then
Yeah
Hoffman hasn't fucking died!
And he's so boring
and I don't wanna see him anymore I want him
to die so they can change the character who's running the show
I guess it's now the wife that's running the
show
Yeah, I would much, I would much rather watch
something about her
--She's boring too
--The only--
She's boring too, but the only reason we are
more interested in her is cuz we haven't seen
--fucking six hours of her
--Amanda is the most interesting character in
--this series
--You just think she's hot!
But she's also the most interesting
And that makes her hot
Three-dimensional characters are hot, Matthew
All the weebs would argue with you
I will argue with you
Saw VI was better than Saw V because the traps
were interesting,
(laughter off-screen)
Once again--
What are you fucking laughing at
I've lost all grasp
What are you laughing at you piece of shit?
Fuckin' Tumblr meme
Get the fuck outta
Shut the fuck up
I'm trying to explain what the difference
between Saw VI and Saw V
Is there one?
Cuz I don't give a shit
Saw VI is about the same as Saw V in my brain
The Hoffman stuff and the Jigsaw stuff is boring as shit
But the traps are interesting
That's a 3.5 for me
The distributor for the film in Spain is Disney
(Mickey Mouse voice) "Hello, friends!
I want to play a game!"
Alright, Boz
I like the traps and nothing else, 3.5
Nope, 3, I want Hoffman to die
Okay
I like 3 a lot more because of 6
Because now Amanda's weird frickin' behavior
actually makes a shred of sense
That doesn't make 3 better
--Okay 
--That makes 6 better
because there is no way in hell they were planning that out when they did 3
You know, that's fair
I thought it was good
(thunder)
What? I don't know what else to...
Y'all are...
You could say it's bad, you know!
But, like, I don't think it's bad!
--Honestly
--Why not?!
Saw movies, they have structure. They have rules.
Yeah?
They don't have structure, they break their
rules all the time
Yeah, that's where it's cool
No, it... no it isn't
it makes it frustrating to watch!
Okay, okay, but look!
There's usually a character arc within, like,
the, the, the sequence of things
There characters have arcs?
Yeah, they do
The rating is gonna be 7
cuz I liked it just as much as I liked six
Bosdet, what's the matter?
It's just not right
It's not,
It's like when fucking Garrett said that he
rated Home Alone 5 the same as Avengers: Endgame
Low-- above Avengers: Endgame
Above Avengers: Endgame
It irritates me because like, you know,
sure everyone's entitled to an opinion
But it just feels so wrong
This is wrong!
How is it wrong?
Cuz it wasn't a good movie!
Don't shame me for the movies I like!
I will absolutely shame you for the movies
you like as long as we're talking about Saw movies
I feel like opinions are one of the few things
we can shame people for
Yes!
Oink, oink
We gotta add this up
17 Again
17 Again
With Zac Effron?
Marcie, you can't tell me Hoffman is a good chracter
I don't think he's as good as Amanda
But the thing is is that his position in there
kind of makes sense
What is, what is Hoffman's motivation?
Mmmm
Hoffman's motivation? I don't know, actually
That's kind of a bit of a tough one
But!
You think this movie is good but you don't
even know the main villain's motivation
Well I mean his motivation is he, he hates
people
What?!
Okay, look
Don't deepthroat my tripod
It's 11:30!
We still have two more movies!
He used his position to exact revenge, pretty
much
On,
Yeah on one guy
Yeah, on one guy
What is he doing now?
Why is he still doing it?
Sake of consistency? Basically --
So he's just doing it to be consistent?
Like "Oh man, I've been doing this I may
as well just keep on doin' it"
I'll still be thinking on that one
Yeah, keep thinking, um.
Get, get back to us on that one
-- the Golden Compass sometime
-- What the fuck are you doing?
Where's the remote?
There's fucking pizza and wine and chips all
over the goddamn place
Hey, we didn't open the chips and salsa yet!
What? Oh, we should do that
--You got any more fuckin' rum?
-- I guarantee, if we watch
-- I do have rum, I'll take a shot
-- I guarantee, if we watch
-- I do have rum, I'll take a shot
-- If I watch the movies again, I will be able to
WHY?!
Feelin' better?
I wish this was moonshine
That's fuckin' disgusting!
Oh, shit!
Somebody has to have the remote
Somebody's gotta have it
It's over there, I think
Sheen, your fat ass is on it
Your fat fucking ass is on it
You mean the controller?
Yeah!
It's right there
Oh no, that's not it
Well it's not under my fat fucking ass!
I'm gettin' water
Are you glad you've joined us so far?
No
Sheen, you just have the Malibu now
We're at that point
Sheen, you don't have mono, do you?
Sheen.
No, you can't get it again
Saw VII
This is, for the record, Saw VII: The Final Chapter
Just before the last movie
Also known as Saw 3D
Oh, are we gonna get, like, really in your
face 3D? That'd be hysterical.
This bottle is empty
Can you, like, hit me over the head with it?
Please.
♫Bah-dah-dah♫
Yeah this is glass, this could do some damage
Alright, let's go
I'm excited, let's go
We're saying let's go about different things, Marcie
No.
--Wait, what?
--Yes
Cary Elwes?
Cary's back?!
That is a loose end
His leg is at least
Booooo
Oh shit, this is actually a place
Oh wow, yeah
What?
This is a place
What the hell?
Like, this is like, a location
Yeah
Did they really have to do it like that?
Does she really have to be wearing, like,
the most insane croptop?
With the leather between the tits
Okay, that's... that was weak
Here comes Jigs--
No, I mean here comes the puppet
Not Jigsaw,
--Jigsaw is not the puppet
--Stop using the flat of the suitcase!
"Proving for good who is indeed the Alpha
male"
Oh, what the?
--The Alpha male? 
--Oh my fucking god
--Fucking hell
Oo!
Why is it so pink?
I know
Yeah those are really bad effects
It's Danganronpa!
Oh! There!
There was a moment
Aw, that's a 3D moment right there
Oh, god, I don't wanna see any more of this
piece of shit
"The body of Umbrella Health CEO William Easton
has been identified"
How?
Every woman in this set wants to fuck him
I can't relate to that
Don't high-five him
"Then I just yanked! And I yanked!"
And I wanked! And I wanked!
I hope
Jigsaw reveals that
it was the puppet the whole time
(Bosdet snickers)
Don't laugh at that, he's said that at least,
like, 10 times
I know, but, like,
after about 10 hours
it's finally funny
It's blue, guys
Wow it is fucking blue
Da-ba-de-da-ba-die,
--am I right?
--Oh man
Now it's so yellow
It's so yellow
♫ And it was all yellow ♫
I really hate how they make the women, like,
that are tied up and bring tortured wear skimpy
dresses
--OH!
--OH MY--
WHOA
Fuck!
She's dead
Oh, okay
Oh boooo!
Chester Bennington, yup,
-- that's Chester
-- That's him!
Now he's crawling out of his skin, am I right?
♫ I've become so numb
I can't feel my back ♫
I bet he wishes he'd become so fucking numb
-- Gnomes?!
-- Fucking Gnomes
-- You got gnomed!
-- Why are there so many fucking gnomes?
You just got fuckin' GNOMED
Why is this internal affairs guy the...
He's about to have an internal affair if you
catch my drift
Ohhh
"That was left for me, and YOUR fingerprints..."
And YOUR fingerprints
I gotta take a shit
Too bad
You mean you've gotta take a Saw III?
This is the longest we've gone in a Saw movie
without seeing Jigsaw
I know, we haven't seen Jigsaw yet
Cuz hes pulling the strings
Is he pulling the strings?
Well, yeah, he's a puppet
Fuck off
Oh my -- goddammit
Why is he wearing a backwards hat?
Because he's so cool
"I don't need it.
We've met."
I don't know about you, but if that happened
to me
I'd be like "Yeah I think that was fucking
Jigsaw"
I don't care about any of these people
I don't care, like, movie-wise
Nothing matters, dude.
Nothing matters
I don't think that's what Jigsaw's trying
to teach you, Sheen
You need to learn your lesson
You need to play by the rules!
I hope he just like opens the door and there's
like a room with like thousands of people
and he,
"This is all of the people who bought your
book!"
There's like three people in there
"These are all the people who bought your
book"
"Wait, what?"
"If you want to survive you must write
another one in 60 seconds"
Ugghh
Ogh, oh wow, it is just pouring out
Wow
What a hole
Oh he just got attacked by a homeless guy
See, that's what I want you to do to me
How was the combination put on the teeth?
You do not do that
It's not that you couldn't do it
You'd need like that constant stream of anesthetic
Where does he get it all?
I don't know
Where-- How does this man have the resources
to do literally anything,
he's on the run from the police
56, 93
Wait, wait
Don't ask me how he did that
Those were on the fucking roots of his t...
-- There were
-- Those were on the parts
of his teeth that
are inside his gums
How?
What?
How?
I don't know
What?
This is fucking stupid!
Why is he wearing like a cool leather jacket now?
Because he's cool
God, I hate him
Why does he have a 5 o'clock shadow?
Cuz he's cool
Oh, oh my god
Really? Okay
I mean it's a fuckin' machine gun
Yeah, no, that's just
Buildin' a sentry!
Please, fucking stab him, I just, I want him
to
FINALLY!
He's just chillin' with that big hole in his neck
He's cool, he's just chilling
It's also not bleeding
Where..?
It's also, his wound is not bleeding
Where's...?
He's totally fine
His wound isn't there
His wound --
It was just a little wound, it's gone, it's
healed
He's better now
What?!
Don't do the horror violins, this isn't scary
Pft
That was so anticlimactic
Are they finally gonna give it to us?
Yeah, everybody has escaped this so far
OOO!
Oh!
There it is!
Oh
That is fucking nasty
But they finally fucking
"Game over"
AHAHAHA
-- And he closes the door
-- MMM! (Bosdet anger noises)
What, did you think they weren't gonna say
it?
No, it's just
I... (sigh)
-- ♫ Cool guys don't look at explosions ♫
-- Imagine if a piece of shrapnel hit him
Wait, what?
Who are these pig people?
-- Yeah
-- There's three of them here
-- Who are they?
-- I think I know who one of them is
Name names
This guy's about to take off his mask
And it's going to be...
Cary
I'm okay with that
Are you okay with that, that's fucking stupid
You're fucking kidding
No
He was there
the whole time?
Are you fucking kidding me?
You know what, scratch that, I'm not okay with this, I hate it
Who are the other two people then?
I - I don't know who they are
3D!!
3D!
That was just a CG effect
They didn't even throw a real fuckin' wrench
"Game over"
See, one time was already a lot
Congratulations, folks
You survived
If we did this three years ago this would
have been the end
But that was the end of Saw for a very long time
Yeah
How was it?
I'm putting up a 1 right now
I wanna go to bed
You got to watch Jigsaw first
We have to watch Jigsaw
You know what?
.1
You're giving this a .1
It was awful
Come sit down, and hold your .1
I hated this
I hated this so much
It's the most frustrating movie I think I've
ever watched
It irritated me to, like, no end
I hated it
A lot
The final accomplice
is Cary Elwes' character from the first movie
Which... why was...
Why did we not know about him?
Why did none of the other people know about
him?
And there were two other people with him for
some reason?
Let me just put up my...
Wait, wait, hold up. Sit down first
No, I just wanna
I'm gonna fuckin' stretch
So essentially this guy who pretended to be
one of Jigsaw's victims
becomes one of Jigsaw's victims
That's the trap storyline
Then the other storyline is Hoffman
just goes full Terminator
And, yeah.
And just kills an entire precinct
And then
of police
And then Gordon from the first Saw shows up
and kills him
What disappoints me the most is the fact that
like Hoffman has been doing all this shit
and I wanted like some horrific ending for
him, because
He is going to starve to death slowly
Yes, but, like, I wanted something more brutal
It's strange how connected I feel to these
characters
in how much I despise all of them
If
Gordon is like a Jigsaw person, then this
doesn't end anything
I think Jigsaw's just like a remake, dude
I --
I mean, I have no idea what it is I hope
it's just about the puppet
Can we do individuals? I'll put mine up
Yeah, I'm so sick of this shit
Hi, me first this time
You know what it is
.1
No, not Sheen, sorry,
-- You're not Sheen
-- Wrong place, there.
It frustrated me so much...
(sigh)
Each of these movies has just continued to
make less and less and less sense and this
movie makes like the least sense of all
I'm done
Thank you
Sad boy
I'm gonna go and just cry
Just gonna look up the runtime of, uh,
Jigsaw?
Yeah
I wanna know how long we have to sit in this hell
Hour 32 minutes, so it's not that bad
They've all been around that
Well, not the first two
Yeah, well, and Saw III was really long
-- What are you doing?
-- Saw III was painful
Oh no no no no, don't you, what are you doing?
I'm changing my answer
You can't change any fucking answers!
No, because...
I'm changing my answer
You can't --
We just told Marcie she couldn't change her
answer
I'm changing my answer, Matthew!
You have to follow the rules, Sheen
You have to...
I'm changing my answer
It's done, it's done,
-- you can't do anything, it's done 
-- What made you change your answer, Sheen?
I just kept on thinking about it, and as much
as I hated this movie,
I think I still hated Saw IV more
Really?
So I couldn't justify
Do you hate this movie because it's that bad
of a movie,
or do you hate this movie because it is the
7th Saw movie we have seen today
Both, it's both
I think the context of all the other movies
makes it so much worse
You're right
I almost went out and bought an edible before
this to take
And
I really regret not doing that
Uh, Saw 3D was really bad
Um, and the plot twist at the end makes me
so angry
because it literally just makes no sense,
it leaves more doors open than it closes
Cary Elwes was great in this
When he walked out with his cane and he was
all menacing
It was really good
He was really great and that was tons of fun to see
There was one other thing I liked about this
and I can't even remember what it was
So I'm literally gonna give it a 1.5 and the
.5 is solely because Cary is great
None of the traps were...  like I mean they were fine
Who took the fucking marker
I threw it on the ground
Man, I ain't a part of your system
The only time I felt tension at all was when
he was climbing with the pec
things in his thing
and that was cuz he had...
yeah it just wasn't good
Uh, yeah
Marcie if you rate this a 7 I will murder
you
You can't tell me that this was an above-average
movie
No, no, no
Marcie, what did you think?
This movie sucked! I'm so sad
The traps sucked
Like, they had little relevance to do with
anything it was just like
Oh, we're gonna put this one on public display
and it sucked and it had nothing to do with...
Yeah why was it on public displa--
who were those people?
Yeah!
There's like a public track, at the,
trap at very beginning and it angered me so
much because,
like, they're screaming "hey, call the police,
try to break the glass"
One woman uses the flat side of her suitcase
to like
lightly tap the glass
And like
Nobody else tries
And even worse, unlike the other Saw movies,
this cold open one doesn't, like, come back
at all later
They literally just don't even mention it
It was so
I also hate that there's the existence of
a Jigsaw support group
And it shows us murders that we haven't seen
before
that, with victims that have nothing to do
with the overall story
and we've seen that every other victim has
to do with the overall story
And everyone buys into Jigsaw's shit
The one-armed lady from
Saaaaaaaaw
6!
6.
The one-armed lady from Saw VI, she's the
only person
(Tristan) Guys, I feel like you've all scarred,
you're all Saw experts and you're
Who... who the fuck is talking over my goddamn
speech about fucking Saw VII?!
Either way I'm the only one in this living room anymore
and
2 will be my rating
Is Sheen okay? Hold up
No, he's dying
This is gonna be in single digits
Is this what you wanted?
What's the total score, Marcie?
It's low
4.6
This is lower than any of the Home Alone movies
we watched
1-6 existing is fine. 7? No.
Just put on, put on the last one
No, we gotta
No, no, just put on the last one
Just put on the last one, please
Do you guys feel like now, after watching
these movies, do you feel like going through
torture has taught you something?
No
So far
I haven't learned anything
Well then maybe you haven't had enough torture
If the puppet isn't behind it all,
I'm going to be even more upset
I don't know if I can handle Sheen even more upset
If it's the puppet behind it all, I will give
this movie a 10/10
I'm trying to put it back on the thing but
I keep laughing
I'm going insane
-- Well, are you guys excited for Jigsaw? 
-- Just start, start the fucking movie
Just start the fucking movie
Oh my god, I don't wanna think about it at all
I just wanna watch it
so I can say I watched it and then go to sleep
You know, I feel like
Robby and Garrett may
have,
may have been onto something not coming
When was Jigsaw filmed with relation to the others?
2017
So this is seven years after the last chapter
Was the last chapter 2010?
Yeah
It was every year from 2004 to 2010
That's an insane production schedule
Yeah
Yeah
My god
No wonder they're so shit
Seven years later they made Jigsaw and everyone
made a big deal out of it
So, um, we'll see...
Do you think this one's gonna be good?
-- No
-- Fuck no
-- I hope so
Hey this looks like a, a movie
That's true, this one looks way better shot
Hey it's Saw
Jigsaw!
Ohh
Where's the fucking green?
I'm so glad they've cleansed this of the rest
of the fucking series
Yeah
But that, we still don't know if that's
gonna make it good
Why do they keep picking actors with the same
fucking haircut
Or, and the same fucking face
"Someone's been studying up on John Kramer"
"Hope not. Kramer's been dead for ten years."
So this is not a reboot, this is in the same
continuity
Goddammit
Well, now I am hoping the puppet's haunted
I hope it gets up off the tricycle and starts
walking around
I, I just, I'm sorry
Think about it. That would be the best way
to revamp the series though
"Three dollars and fifty-three cents"
Choose the one that you said, three dollars
and fifty-three cents!
Fuck
It's tearing her apart
Oh
OHH
Oo
It dissolved her insides, holy fuck
"Fucking asshole!"
Whaddya mean?!
Yeah, whaddya-
-- that is not his...
-- You would have all died if he hadn't done
That is NOT his fault
I'm mad at just how dumb these characters
are
"You guys aren't helping!"
This guy's amazing!
I love this guy
I feel like I'm the only one watching this
goddamn movie
I mean it's not like we really want to at this point
They keep acting like Jigsaw's back and that's
starting to confuse me
He is very fucking dead
Press play
They really upped the technology
Yeah
It's a TV remote
Someone's on the other side of that wall digging
really fast
It's just grain, though, couldn't they just...
it's not easy when you're being buried
Couldn't they just eat it?
"Home.
Alone."
Home Alone?
Home Alone??
Home Alone???
Home Alone?!
Hey wait a goddamn second
What?
The post-credit scene to Saw VI
meant nothing
That little girl?
Never came back
That didn't come back
"The blood under the fingernails of our first
victim is John Kramer's blood
The Jigsaw killer"
What the fuck?
I'm just so goddamn tired of this shit
It just better be the puppet
I feel like Sheen's sanity hinges on the fact
that it's the puppet
It really does
oOO hoo hoo hoo!
OO!
Oh, sliced
OOOhooooo
Did you see that?
Yes, we were looking at it
Is this her place?
Yeah
Oh it's the thing that like, um, that detective 
died in
It's the box
Yeah
That that guy almost died in
Look, it's one thing to be obsessed with a
fictional serial killer
It's another thing to be obsessed with a real
one
Do you think there have been more limbs lost
in this or in Star Wars?
Oh!
-- OHH OHH!
-- He's dead
He just got blended
Oh shit
-- Ouch
-- Holy shit
Man just...
This guy's ugly so I don't care about him
What is wrong with you, Sheen?
Oh, through his belly button? I don't like that
No, that's not the,
-- that's the bullet hole
-- It's a bullet hole
Fuckin' dumbass
Are you gonna put that in?
I am definitely putting that in
Oh my god
It's Jigsaw
I am going to throw
How?
the phone at this TV
I think something's going on with the timeline
I think they're pullin' a Saw II
Look at just the upgrades in technology
Wht's the upgrades in technology?
Fuckin' TV remotes?
No, they all have fuckin' smartphones, Matthew
My thought is that this is taking place ten
years ago
No
And the bodies are only turning up now
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Those were not old bodies
No, no, no, no, also
Those were not 10-year old bodies
You've seen the cars they're using
That-- they went through the autopsy
Listen to me, Sheen
I'm saying that the police is happening ten
years after the test is happening
But Deegan, Deegan look at the cars they have
This is the police
-- No, I'm saying -- 
-- I'm saying that this here
is taking ten years
after the scene with Jigsaw
Ogh, please don't be that
Okay, I can think of one more explanation
What?
It's the puppet?
She's awful
She smothered the baby
Because it was annoying
I guess that's fair
It was a pretty annoying baby
Look at what this has done to us
I'm so glad he didn't say game over
Oh my god
I still gotta take a shit
Wanna pause it?
Just shit your pants, man
No, that'll take too long
It's not that urgent, it's not [indistinguishable]
Oof!
If this was any of the other Saw movies that
would have hit her
Look, I don't understand what's happening
right now
The only explanation is that Kramer is being
possessed
By the puppet
By the spirit
By the puppet, yeah
Of the puppet
Yeah, yeah, okay
The puppet is able to animate
Is it by the puppet?
It's by the fucking puppet
It's able to not only animate, but recompose
a dead body
Oh, they killed him
Oh
That is shocking
Oh
What?
"Ten years ago, in this very barn"
Oh my god
I told you
I told you!
What?
-- Are you kidding me?
-- Another accomplice?
-- He's had like five disciples
-- No, no, what the fuck is this?
Yup
oooo
Oh shit
Oh, oo, that, mmm
That's gross
"I speak for the dead"
I thought it'd be game over!
Yeah I was waiting for game over
I prefer that to game over
Wow that was...
dumb!
Congratulations, you have won the game
I don't feel like I won anything
Cary Elwes wasn't even in this
Yeah, it was disappointing
There's so many just loose threads in this franchise
That was some nice fanfiction
Puppet should have been alive
Are you, where you going?
Why is Sheen, where you goin?
Puppet should have been alive
Sheen
Puppet should have been alive
Puppet should have been alive
I --
What are you writing up here?
I, I don't, don't know
He's writing a lot though
You know, he's right
We're so close
Puppet should have been alive
These movies are stupid
Nobody should watch 'em
I don't understand how a 9th one is getting
made
They're so bad
I hate 'em so much
Don't ever do this
What about Jigsaw, like the movie itself,
before we get to our overall experience,
Jigsaw itself
Jigsaw, the movie itself?
So...
boring
I think it's better than the last couple Saws
Well, again, that's not much of a feat
The ending was fucking weird though
There was some funny moments actually, we laughed a couple times
Yeah, there were a couple funny moments
And I feel like, if I was not watching this
from 1-3 in the morning, I would have liked
it a lot better
No, I think
-- I still would have not liked it
-- I don't know
Here's the, here's the thing
Yeah
Jigsaw should have been the puppet
Fuck off!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, let me saw my
piece
I don't, you've said your goddamn piece
No, let me say my piece
You've said it every goddamn 20 minutes for
the past fuckin...
These movies lost all their horror potential
as soon
as we put a face
to Jigsaw
I--
The puppet is the iconic horror imagery
And he is by far the scariest thing
That comes to mind
okay?
Making this supernatural and having
the puppet behind everything
would have changed the entire way we view
the entire franchise
and made every movie before it
creepier
thus making it
better
I so wholeheartedly disagree with this
How could you possibly disagree with this?!
I don't fully agree with this, but at the
same time
I would have so preferred it to Saw 3D
Saw 3D was really bad
It was...
I completely stand by my statement
I gotta be serious, I think Saw 3D is, like,
the worst movie I've ever seen
You've watched
The worst?
so many terrible movies
I've watched a lot of bad movies
I have seen some utter garbage
This is one of the worst movies that I've
ever seen
I mean, objectively The Room is a worse movie
I disagree, because I think another, like,
another value when I'm judging things is entertainment
value
Like, The Room is, if you judge it just straight
as a movie, it's an awful movie
It's a masterclass in bad movies
It's a masterclass in bad movies, but it's
fun to watch
The artist's intent is not necessarily the
most important part when you're making a movie
No, I'm saying I don't care about the artist's
intent
But I do not want to get into a debate about
the death of the author right now
No
You wanna go first, Sheen?
I'm not changing my rating
-- If you had to put a numeric value on it what would it be?
-- Sheen, we can't, we can't
add that to the rest of the scores
Okay, fine, and this is my rating for the
whole franchise
You're giving Jig--
You're giving Jigsaw a 0
I'm giving
every Saw movie a 0
No, you can't do this
No
No, stop it! Stop it!
You're ruining the integrity of the system!
You're ruining the integrity...
You're breaking the rules!
You're breaking the fuckin' rules!
You're breakin' the fuckin' rules, Sheen!
You fuckin... what are you doing?
So I'll go next
It was okay
I would rather watch paint dry than watch
Saw 3D again
If you compare it just to that it's, like,
amazing, but
compared to the rest of the movies,
it was like...
meh
The traps were neat, I thought
They were...
not super interesting or anything,
but they were better than some of the other
ones I've seen
They kept more in line with, like, what Jigsaw
was actually like and what he thought, which
a lot of the movies didn't
The ending was confusing and I didn't like it
I'll give it like a 4.5
Sheen, do you wanna give it an actual score?
No
I'm really exhausted, but
the movie wasn't horrible
It felt kind of like strange fanfiction to
me if I'm being honest
The ending was weird for me, I didn't really
like the fact that oh, again
He was in on it from, the thing, from the
beginning, but um
If you were to like introduce someone to the
Saw series, it wouldn't be,
that one wouldn't be a horrible one to do,
but it's just
It was just a little unusual to me, I
I think I'll say 5
Again, it's not horrible, but I wouldn't go
far to say it's great, though
I just wanna, I just wanna point out, Marcie
You have rated this movie lower than Saw V
and VI
Yeah
Which I think is still wrong, but I'm not,
I'm too tired to bother like contesting you on that
Jigsaw was...
dumb
I liked a couple things
That's it
There isn't anything else to say
Bosdet said it, ending was stupid, there was
some okay traps
It was shot like an actual movie
The color palette didn't make me wanna barf
Oh yeah
I'll give this a 4
That brings us to...
13.5
Which means
that the rankings of the Saw movies goes
Saw 3D
Saw IV
Saw III
Jigsaw
Saw...
There's, there's so many.
There's so many
I don't care
Oh no!
Saw V is that what's next?
Saw V is...
Saw V and VI are tied
Saw
and Saw II
That's it, that's it
That's the fuckin
That's it
We did this
We did it
We did it
Can'tcha like play, like, the Dora the Explorer,
like, like
We did it theme, you know?
No, what we need to play is
duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh, duh
Okay
Now usually I ask this
I wanna go home
First off, how we feelin?
Nooooo
It's 3:02 in the morning
I think it's just cuz it's late, but
No it's cuz we stayed up for over like, like
-- 14 hours watching Saw movies 
-- I don't think it's just cuz
That's what it is, that's what you're feeling,
it's pain. suffering
Um, does someone wanna average these?
No, no right now
Do that later
If you care, which I'm sure you do in the
YouTubesphere, I'm putting it right there
That's the average, ain't that a great average, guys?
Oh man, what an average
Bosdet and Marcie, this is your second Marathon Session
How did this compare to the first?
It was so much worse
Yeah, I agree, this was so much worse
Don't clap it's so much worse
What are you clapping for?
What are you clapping for you son of a bitch?
I, I had more fun
You son of a bitch
What are you doing?
You masochistic
This fucking sucked
I know
I hope you're happy
Sheen
This was your first Marathon Session
Popped your Marathon Session cherry, how does it feel?
(choking noises)
So when you agreed to do this, were you imaging
anything like this?
Did you imagine it would get this bad?
I hate you so much
No more Saw
No more Saw
We're a fuckin' wreck
So,
when's the next one?
I don't know, Sheen
Sheen, when's the next one?
You wanna go see the new Saw movie in May,
Sheen?
You wanna go?
Those are the rules
I'm gonna be there!4
Well, in high school my friends and I hotboxed
a car and then we went to see The Bye Bye
Man
and that was one of the greatest experiences of my life
