I just remember looking up and everything
kept getting brighter, and brighter, and brighter,
and I just all of the sudden said, "Why can't
I see?"
I was just like, "Oh my God, oh my God, my
head hurts.
"I'm seeing flashing lights."
I just had this sense that I've never had
before that I was going to die.
Because I had an emergency C-section during
my first delivery,
I had a planned cesarean section for the second
pregnancy.
I saw three doctors the entire time.
Nothing alerted them to anything going wrong.
So at 40 weeks, they started the operation,
opening me up for the cesarean section,
and at that time I got a splitting headache.
I was just like, "Mom, my head really hurts.
"My head hurts."
I just started holding my head.
I started to see rotating lights in the ceiling.
And then right at that time I started to panic,
and I blacked out.
My family says that I went into a full seizure,
and the doctors quickly delivered my baby.
I lost a lot of blood.
They sewed me up.
And when I came back to consciousness, my
OB-GYN kissed me on the forehead
because he did not think that I was gonna
come back from that.
My delivery and pregnancy seemed totally
normal until my placenta didn't detach.
It ruptured when my doctor attempted to help
me deliver it, and some was left in my uterus.
I wasn't informed in terms of warning signs to look for,
and as a result at two weeks postpartum I became extremely ill,
developed a uterine infection
and was nearing septic shock.
I just felt so guilty because I just thought,
"Why did I not see these warning signs sooner?"
And I just felt, you know, like I've got three
kids here,
and you just, I didn't want to leave them.
I suffered a massive postpartum hemorrhage.
Our pregnancy was textbook.
When we got home, I kept saying, "I feel awful."
I never actually voiced that to my doctor,
but I'd voiced it to friends and relatives.
I said, "I really feel awful."
And the response was always, "Well, you just had a baby."
Eight days after we came home from the hospital,
my husband and I were sitting on the couch,
and I suddenly had a really sharp pain, and
a blood clot the size of an orange came out.
It took every ounce of energy I had to actually
physically walk into the ER
by the time we got there.
I just remember looking up and everything
kept getting brighter, and brighter, and brighter,
and I just all of the sudden said, "Why can't
I see?"
And everybody in the room got dead quiet.
You could have heard a pin drop.
We learned later that that happens when you
have massive blood loss,
'cause it's your body trying to push blood to more vital systems.
I don't think we communicate with new moms
enough on what a "normal" level of awful is,
and what a "you need to talk to your doctor"
level of awful is.
We tend to focus on taking care of the baby,
but not so much taking care of Mom afterwards.
