 
# SCORNFULLY YOURS

### TORN SERIES: BOOK ONE

## PAMELA ANN
**Copyright © 2013 by Pamela Ann**

**All rights reserved.**

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

edited by alizon & kristin
"All the diversity, all the charm, and all the beauty of life are made up of light and shade."

Leo Tolstoy _, Anna Karenina_

### Contents

Prologue

Quote

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

The Torn Series Order

Also by PAMELA ANN

I ♥️ Heart Sexy Reads

33. UNAPOLOGETIC

34. PROLOGUE

35. CHAPTER ONE

36. CHAPTER TWO

37. CHAPTER THREE

38. CHAPTER FOUR

39. CHAPTER FIVE

Acknowledgments

# Prologue

It was official! I had fallen hopelessly in love with Carter after dating him for only a couple of months. It wasn't easy to come to terms with this realization knowing, with full certainty, that Carter Mason would not like this fact. He'd most likely just drop me like a hot potato the moment he found out.

In the very beginning, he was quite clear about emphasizing his feelings on love and relationships. "I don't do any of the hearts and butterflies shit, Em. I don't do love or the happily ever after shit either."

_Yep_ , that's what he said, and I went ahead and jumped into bed with him anyway.

What woman would fall for a playboy who loathed the idea of love? I sure wasn't going to. Or so I thought.

Carter was the University of California–Santa Barbara's (or USCB) star forward on the soccer team. He was only a junior, but scouts from professional teams all over the world had already come to watch him play. They said he was the next 'big thing.' He was _that_ good!

Carter was tall, dark and handsome. He had thick, killer thighs and the nicest bottom you'd ever see. Not to mention the fact that he was dynamite between the sheets and the sweetest—if he was in the mood—boyfriend. Everyone adored Carter and when he wanted to date me, there was no chance in the universe that I would even consider saying no.

Lindsey, his sister and my roommate, was over the moon when we started dating. Although, I didn't mention what her brother's 'terms' were in our relationship. I was sure that if she knew, she wouldn't think it was 'love at first sight,' but more like 'lust at first glance.'

In the beginning, his rules were great—perfect even.

I mean, I couldn't have agreed more to them.

Who would want to be tied down with a serious relationship when you were in college anyway? I certainly didn't.

I'd seen many women drop classes or quit a semester because they were too hurt and too heartbroken to continue going to school. I certainly didn't want to become one of them, so Carter's _thing_ made sense.

_It did_ , until I fell in love with him.

Now, I wasn't so sure anymore.
**Who Ever Loved That Loved Not at First Sight?**

It lies not in our power to love or hate,

For will in us is overruled by fate.

When two are stripped, long ere the course begin,

We wish that one should love, the other win;

And one especially do we affect

Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:

The reason no man knows; let it suffice

What we behold is censured by our eyes.

Where both deliberate, the love is slight:

Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?

_~Christopher Marlowe_

# Chapter 1

"Love is not a force between a mind and a body, but a force between two hearts. Your mind and eyes will never tell you when you feel true love, for only your heart can receive the true love that another heart sends directly to it."

~Dr. Laurence J. Peter

My phone vibrated and I fished it out of my purse.

Carter: _Baby, want to meet me for lunch?_

Crap, this was not good since I hadn't decided what I was going to do about him yet.

Me: _Sorry, can't. I have school stuff to do._

It was a half lie, technically, but what was I to do? I was still coming to terms with how I felt for him and I would probably freak out if I saw him right now.

My Human Sexuality class ended with a yawn. My teacher, Mrs. Crowley, was a total bore. To think I was ecstatic to enroll in this class. What a laugh!

I was surprised to see Lindsey outside, waiting for me when I got out of class. "Hey, what's up?"

"I need a 911 emergency therapy session. Let's do lunch then I'll tell you _all_ about it!" Her pretty pink, glossed lips pouted. I loved Lindsey to pieces, but she could be so emotional sometimes.

"Oh, okay, I'm starving anyway. What do you feel like having?"

"Tacos and margaritas!" she exclaimed.

We ended up at Los Agaves and ordered our usual However, after we'd ordered Lindsey stayed busy on her phone. She had waited on me outside of class before, _twice,_ actually, and both times were quite interesting. I was her emergency therapy person, which was why I was wondering what was taking her a while to speak up.

Lindsey Mason was not your average chick. She was a straight forward, no-nonsense kind of gal. She was quite smart, like MENSA kind of smart. We immediately got along when we became roommates and were best friends now. She was a sexy brunette and adored her brother more than anything.

Carter and Lindsey's parents died in a car crash seven years ago and their aunt and uncle adopted them. I knew she was close to them, but Carter didn't speak much about them at all. He rarely ever opened up. Well, actually, he _never_ did.

My relationship with Carter was mostly based on well, _sex_ and not much else; and oh my, _the sex..._ it was scorching hot and _so_ good! Just thinking about it made me blush.

Lindsey finally pushed her phone aside and clasped her hands on the table, trying to look serious, but failing because her eyes were twinkling with enthusiasm. With a big grin she spoke, "Brody wants to date me."

Brody Thompson was Carter's best bud—and quite a sweetheart—a smoking hot sweetheart to boot.

"And?" I dragged out my question, my excitement from her announcement evident on my face. I _knew_ it! I even teased her about it before. I saw how Brody had been checking her out, but she always played it off like I was imagining things.

"And... I'm thinking of saying, no?" Linds bit her full bottom lip while tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

Okay, I didn't expect her to say 'no.'

"Um—why not Brody? I can't think of a reason why you wouldn't want to date him. He's nice... and cute!"

Lindsey leaned back and huffed. " _Why_ not _Brody?_ Okay, let me break this down for you. First, he's my brother's best friend. Second, we grew up together and I was friends with some of his ex's. Third, Brody's just not my type."

Not her type? _Was she crazy?_

"He is _so_ your type, Linds! Admit it—you don't have to be all coy." She was interrupted from responding when our waiter delivered our food. I took a lengthy sip of my refreshing strawberry margarita, letting my words sink in as I gave my friend a simpering smile.

"Fine, I was lying. I think Brody's hot, but he and I aren't happening. I know you're wondering why, but we just aren't, okay? I just wanted you to know because I might be skipping a few parties." That was odd. So, what if she was turning him down? Brody was not going to be a sore loser, was he?

"That's a little extreme, don't you think?" I took a big bite of my chicken taco and my tummy did a happy little merengue. God, I was starving!

She merely shrugged. "It is what it is, doll." Lindsey wiped off a little sauce from the side of her mouth with a white linen napkin and focused on me. "How are things between you and Carter? Still going strong? We were almost like sisters, if you thought about it." I coughed at her sentiment, _seriously?_

"It's not like _that_ with Carter and me. In fact, that's far from what we are. Truth be told, it's like having an exclusive bootie call with a dash of party scene involved," I bravely admitted the true nature of our relationship. It sucked to blurt the truth out, but no more hiding from it. It was black and white with no gray in between.

Lindsey finished her margarita and grabbed mine. _That was quick._ She held the stem of the glass and spoke with disdain. "Fucking Carter! I don't get why he's so afraid of commitment. I just want him to be happy. He could be great with women, but he's a complete shit to them instead. Are you happy with him, Em? I mean, with this cold, technical arrangement?" she asked as she annihilated my drink.

GAH!

I _was_ , but not anymore. I loved Carter, but shit would hit the fan if he knew. Carter was known to bounce out of a relationship for less. Ask the long line of broken-hearted females who made that very mistake.

"I am... I mean I _was,_ but I'm not too sure anymore. Carter's a great guy, Linds, but I don't think I want to be that girl anymore." I had always been a free spirit—not having a care in the world—I just wanted to have a good time, but now, things had changed and I wanted more out of my life.

Lindsey caught the waiter's attention and ordered two more drinks. Hmmm... why the need to get wasted during lunch time, girlfriend? She usually only had one drink in the middle of the day.

"I support you in whatever decision you choose, but to be honest, if my brother can't give you his all, why the heck would you want to stay, _you know?_ " I nodded.

Good point. Yep. _Why should I stay?_

_Let's see, because you would go mad without him? You've been living and breathing the scent of the very sexy Carter Mason for the last three months; how do you figure on surviving without his ambrosial enticement?_

Fuck! Fuck! Could __ I really do it? It would go down in history, surely. I would be the first female to dump the hot jerk. Hot, but a jerk all the same!

Carter was not my first love. I had been in love before. His name was Lewis Grand and he was my high school sweetheart. It was cute and sweet—totally opposite of what I had with Carter. Lewis had been accepted to Harvard to study medicine, but before college, he planned to take a year or two to work with the underprivileged in Africa. Lewis was a great guy, but we both agreed that a long distance relationship wouldn't work for us. I was devastated and so lonely when we broke up after being together for four years, and I wasn't sure how to be single.

The summer before college, I became depressed. It was a dark, debilitating depression that kept me secluded from the world. In my moment of darkness, I realized that I wasn't mourning my relationship with Lewis, but the end of something that was sweet and comforting and familiar.

By the time I started college, I was slowly pulling myself from the darkness and I knew that I was ready to try to start living; to be happy again. Lindsey talked me into attending my first college party. I was wary about going, but I wanted to try and _live._ That's where I met Carter. Since I had been with him, I had slowly pulled out of my funk.

Dating him became a perfect solution to my loneliness; I didn't need another serious relationship. I just wanted something fun and jumping into bed with him seemed like the perfect thing to do. Carter was great and _hot damn_ the sex! He took me places that I didn't know existed. Lewis was good, but compared to Carter, he was mellow and tame. Now, though, my 'perfect idea' had just become a perplexing quandary.

After lunch, Linds had to get back to school for her class, which left me with a lot of unanswered questions. I wanted to know what was going on in that pretty, little, dark head of hers. At times, she could be very closed off; much like her brother. However, like the good friend I was, I didn't want to push the issue and pressure her into answers, knowing quite well that she was conflicted. I knew that when she was ready, she would tell me.

I was free for the rest of the day, so I decided to hit the beach and try to clear my head. It was a warm, glorious September afternoon and the beach looked heavenly. Santa Barbara was a nice, little, charming town that had a rustic Spanish feel to it. I had good memories of this town from trips with my family and friends growing up. That was why UCSB had been my first choice when I applied for college. It was close to home and at the same time, it gave me enough space to find myself and figure out what I really wanted to do with my life.

I grew up in Ojai, a mere forty-minute drive from here. My parents didn't argue much when I decided to study nearby. I think they were relieved that I didn't plan to tag along with my boyfriend, Lewis, to Boston. My mom and dad adored Lewis, but they wanted their baby girl to stay close to home more than anything.

I parked my car and opened my trunk to fetch a beach towel—it was necessary to have a beach towel and extra clothes with you at all times when you lived around here. With my purse and towel tucked under my arm, I trotted towards the shore and found a spot to lie out; somewhere not too close to the buzz of people, but somewhere not too far either because my imagination tended to run wild—I feared getting stabbed to death or being kidnapped. Weird really, but I blamed it on watching too many _Bones_ and _True Blood_ episodes.

I made a blissful sigh before I spread myself out across my beach towel. The sun greeted my face and I basked in its delightful warmth. I loved the beach; it was the perfect escape from life. I wished that life was as easy as being here with the peaceful waves and the warm sand. I wished I could find the answer to my complicated situation with Carter.

It was a good thing I was wearing a faded denim skirt with a fitted, sleeveless cotton shirt because the sun's rays were beaming down from a cloudless sky and I wanted to consume as much sun as I could before fall rolled in. My tan made my cornflower blue eyes more noticeable and I thought that it made me look much better. As much as I loved being golden-hued though, I would never get an artificial one from a tanning bed. I had nothing against people who used them; it was just that some of them went overboard and managed to look like an Oompa Loompa. I would _so_ not look as good as an Oompa Loompa, so I'd rather stick to the real thing.

My ringing phone brought me out of my reverie. Grabbing it, I checked who the caller was.

_Carter._

Clearing my throat, I answered it, "Hey."

"Hey, I just saw Lindsey and she said you two had lunch. Why wasn't I invited? I would have loved to dine with my two favorite girls," he drawled and I couldn't hold myself back from rolling my eyes.

_I'm your favorite girl,_ _for now_ , I wanted to voice out, but held my tongue.

"Yeah, she wanted to have some girl time. What's up, Carter?" I wanted to sound bored and irritated, but my voice ended up sounding breathy.

"Just wondering what you're up to 'cause I'm free for the rest of the afternoon. Feel like _coming over_ to chill a bit?" His voice deepened when he said, 'coming over.' It was basically his come-hither term for 'let's fuck.'

"Um, I don't know about that, Carter," I whispered. Sex would be a very bad idea. It would be like piling more shit on top of an already enormous pile.

I wanted to kick myself—if I could—for falling for the man. _I mean, come on, Emma!_ I scolded myself.

_Where the hell is your brain, huh?_

It was probably somewhat brain dead from mind-numbing orgasms.

As much as I loved Lewis when we were together, I always wondered what it would be like to be with someone wild and unrestricted—someone without limits or boundaries—who didn't have a care in the world. Carter fit the bill and I was sucked into his world the moment our eyes met. I was screwed; in more ways than one. Literally.

He grunted on the other end, frustrated.

"I haven't seen you in two days, Em. TWO DAYS! This is the longest I haven't seen you," Carter started to sound irritated.

I guess two days without sex could really make a man grumpy.

"I've been... busy," I said hesitantly, but he wasn't buying the crap I was spewing.

" _Busy?_ You've been busy? Get real, Em. We both know you haven't been busy. Why don't you come over? Maybe it's high time we talk."

_And here it is_...

Doomsday was here.

I waited a beat or two before I replied, "I'll see you in an hour." Yeah, an hour would be enough time to come up with some kind of a plan and recharge my battery. Maybe.

"In _an_ **** hour and not a second longer, got it? If you keep hiding away from me, I will scour the entire campus to look for you." He was heated. Carter was angry and his underlying threat was quite clear. My time was up and it was time to face the music and dance.

"Got it," I responded and quickly ended the call.

I knew Carter had a mean temper. He wanted to see me pronto and I needed to show up. I didn't doubt for a second that he would follow through with his threat.

He was notorious for his bar fights and his road rage. One time, we were stopped at a stoplight and when the light turned green, the driver in front of us didn't move because he was too caught up in his phone conversation. Carter didn't even blink twice before he got out of his SUV, cussed the guy out and managed frighten him so badly, the man was on the verge of tears.

Yep, Carter had a problem with his temper, and I didn't want to push his buttons further to see how far he'd take that temper of his.

# Chapter 2

"I can usually tell if a man is emotionally unavailable by my instant attraction to them."

~Author Unknown

After another forty-five minutes, I decided it was time to leave. I gathered my belongings and headed out to see Carter.

Carter had bought a four bedroom villa that overlooked the beach where his friends, Brody and Cooper, rented rooms from him. It was quite close to Main Street where the bars, clubs, restaurants and all types of shops were located.

I parked my car just outside his house, killed the engine and took a deep breath. "Showtime," I muttered under my breath as I opened my car door.

The guys never locked the main door so I turned the doorknob and pushed the heavy, white door open. The house was actually quiet for the first time since I'd known the trio. They usually had a crowd of people lounging and hanging around.

_Where was everyone?_

"Good of you to finally show up!" Carter announced from atop the landing only wearing a pair of cargo shorts. His tanned, sculpted torso and abs were out on display and his dark hair had droplets of water in it like he had just come out of the shower.

I salivated like a bitch in heat.

_Fuck, this is not going as planned!_

"I'm five minutes early. What more do you want?" I asked, in a mere whisper. The emptiness of the house made my hushed tone quite loud.

He took his time coming down the stairs, using his usual lazy, care-free swag as he walked towards me. It sucked! The man didn't even have to _try_ to look hot, he just was. Like air equaled breathing, water equaled drinking; Carter Mason equaled SEXing. It was quite absurd. I despised the fact that he held such power over me and was mystified as to how I had let that happen.

He continued his lazy saunter until he was right before me, his _almost_ bare-naked, glorious body stood only a foot away as he studied me quietly. "What more do I _want_ , Emma?" he parroted my question back to me. "I want you to be honest."

He wanted honesty? Right, then I'd give it to him... somewhat.

"I don't think I can do this with you anymore," I managed to whisper. His gaze was penetrating, never leaving my eyes.

" _Why_? What's changed? You were fine the last time we were together. If I recall correctly, you were _more_ than fine. You were insatiable and didn't want me to leave your side—you even followed me into the shower. What was it that you said? _Oh right_ , 'because you missed me.' So, from that type of adoration to 'I don't think I can do this anymore,' tell me, _what's changed?_"

My brows furrowed. _Fuck!_ Dammit, was I really that pathetic the last time we were together? That was sickening.

_What do I tell him?_ I was panicking and couldn't conjure any reason at the moment other than the real truth. I wasn't a raving idiot, I was not going to confess my undying love and humiliate myself.

"It's just not working out, Carter." God, that was the best I could do? I really sucked at this.

He moved a little closer. "That's not really telling me much, Em. Do you expect me to let you go," he snapped his fingers, "just like that?"

Well, yeah. "Sort of," I uttered.

I gasped as he moved closer. His masculine scent hit me like a brick. Fuck, my body was shaking and my senses were taking over.

_This is so bad, stop it_ , I scolded my lascivious body.

"That's where you're wrong. This body," the back of his forefinger grazed the tell-tale outline of my erect nipples, "responds to me. You may not notice the changes, but when you entered my home, these weren't visible." He pinched my nipple and I gasped at his crass boldness. "But the second I stood before you... your body betrayed you... it acknowledges the kind of power I have over you."

So my nipples, had what... a _Carter detector?_ I groaned.

He moved in on me, his hand immediately went under my short denim skirt and he caressed the inside of my thighs as I stared at him wide-eyed. "Carter..." I hesitated, knowing full well where this was going.

"Let's stick to what we're good at Emma and that's indulging each other's needs, hmmm?" His wet, hot tongue ran along the back of my ear to the base of my neck. Fuck! My entire body shivered and broke out in goose bumps. In the time it took me to process what was happening, he had squatted down and parted my legs. His expert finger pushed my thong aside and his tongue found my wet folds.

Panting, I whispered, "Carter... someone might come back! We can't do this out here for everyone to see!" I tried to be the voice of reason but _hell..._ my traitorous body loved the feel of him; loved being with Carter like this again.

Love totally sucked. Not only did it make you feel powerless, but it made you stupid, too.

Carter's tongue was heated and rushed then his finger found my hot entrance and toyed with it. Dammit, his gifted tongue was like a whirlpool, full of ferocious intensity and it most definitely sucked you in. It had the capability to pull me into its dark depths, free-falling without a life raft to hang on to. My fingers found his dark hair and grabbed on to it while I moaned and writhed during his artful ministrations.

He hooked my left leg over his shoulder, making me even more frenzied and incoherent. At that point, I could not have cared less if his friends walked in on us like that. I was past modesty and restraint. My body was tightening and my insides started to simmer from the brewing force of my orgasm. I was mere seconds away from convulsing when he stopped.

_God dang it! What now?!_

Carter unbuttoned his cargo pants and stood in the foyer butt naked. _My beautiful Adonis_ , I thought as my eyes devoured the creature before me. His throbbing cock was gleamed in the sun's rays that filtered through the windows. I licked my lips when I gazed at his sheer masculine beauty. The energy between us was charged, aroused with pure and potent sexual ardor.

It was always like this with him, with us.

It was just sex and more sex and nothing in between. No talks about the future. No hearts and butterflies, just as he had promised.

My eyes looked deep into his... _I love you_ , I thought.

He didn't even bother with kissing or words. Since my legs were parted already, he jammed his cock inside me with haste. _Damn_ , my body exulted at the very feel of him. Carter's passionate fucking bordered on fervid, senseless mating. He had a way of setting me ablaze, burning me up with heat and need for him.

Him alone.

I hooked my leg up on his thigh as he pummeled deeper inside me. His hands gripped my hips as he hammered me into oblivion. I gripped his shoulder when he lifted me off the floor and roughly pushed me against the wall as if I weighed nothing. With each powerful, hard thrust of his hips, my mind shattered into euphoric ecstasy.

"Caaaarteeeer!" I screamed over and over again. My screams vibrated throughout the house, maybe even the entire neighborhood, but I didn't care. What mattered was the hard pounding I was getting.

I panted as my orgasm convulsed through my body, tightening around his thick cock. My vaginal walls squeezed the length of his manhood, driving him even further with an intense need for completion, his release. His climax was a heavenly act in itself. The feel of his rigid body, the moment he screamed my name when he unloaded his seed inside me. He grunted and grumbled something incoherent. My mind was blank as he pulsated inside me. With another final push of his cock, he lowered me back onto the marbled floor.

He buried his head deeply into the crook of my neck as I listened to the heaviness of his breathing and fought the urge to cry—from loving him so much and wanting something I could never have.

Doom and gloom.

I tried to move, but he wouldn't let me. Both of his hands were securely planted against my fuzzy head, his cock impaling me and preventing me from moving. My blue eyes searched his darkened depths, but I couldn't read them.

"There will be no talks of you leaving me, Em. The only way this ends is when _I_ say it ends. You got that?" Bossy. Domineering. I wanted to just punch him.

I got that, loud and clear, mister. It was pretty apparent that this relationship I had with him changed the moment I fell in love with the jackass and I couldn't keep hurting anymore.

"Lewis and I are thinking of getting back together," I blurted out, a technical lie. True, Lewis wanted to try again, but I never wanted to. At this point, though, I'd do and say anything to get away from this insensitive man.

" _I beg your pardon?_ " he uttered in his most deadly tone. He moved closer and I held myself back from moaning.

I didn't care if I made him angry anymore. I was past caring. "You heard me. Don't make me say it again."

"Was this your goodbye fuck then?" He nudged his hips forward, making me unconsciously moan. His cock was semi-hard after our session, but I could feel it growing rapidly to its full length and girth.

_OH. MY_.

"You're the one who started it, but sure, if you want to call it _that_. You can _un_ - _sheath_ yourself from me now," I ordered as his wicked eyes twinkled.

"Oh no, my luminous beauty, I have yet to satiate myself before I can _un-sheath_ myself." He smiled as he unceremoniously picked me up and carried me up the flight of stairs and into the master bedroom.

Stupid me, I hadn't voiced a word because his dangerous demeanor excited the hell out of me. I was hopeless, wasn't I?

After two hours of long ardent lovemaking, he finally relented. What a blissful two hours they were, too.

Carter licked, kissed and fucked me to make a point. He was harsh and tender at the same time. His dark eyes never left me. Whatever was going through that beautiful head of his, I would never know.

We lied naked against the sheets and both stared blankly at the ceiling. He didn't even bother holding me like he usually did after sex. It was break-up sex, I knew, but it still hurt all the same. His distance hurt me. It was just sex to him—nothing more. I guess, a small part of me hoped he'd beg me not to end this and show me some kind of emotion.

Carter sat up and planted his feet on the floor. His rippled back looked so enticing. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and trail kisses along his spine, but my legs, which were still slightly parted, were vibrating and quivering after being stretched and used to capacity for the past couple of hours.

Not once did he kiss me today; it was not really his thing, but he had obliged me a few kisses here and there before. I sighed with sadness; the heaviness on my chest never left me the entire time I was with him.

He suddenly stood up and headed to the bathroom, but stopped mid-stride. Without looking at me, he spoke, "You can gather your things and go now, Em. Thanks for the great sex. I'll see you around." His voice was curt, deadpan, uncaring.

_Thanks for the great sex?_ Mother Fucker! The nerve! Why couldn't he just say, "I'll see you around?" Cold, but I'd rather take that than him thanking me for great sex. Fuck, I felt like a cheap tart. I couldn't even muster a good comeback because I was beyond hurt and in utter shock. I mean, I knew he was an insensitive prick, but I hoped to have a civilized parting.

Stupid, stupid asshat!

Hot, salty tears threatened to spill from my azure orbs and it took all of my inner strength to keep them at bay. The stupid prick didn't deserve my tears. Even one drop would be too much to bestow upon the horrid rat!

I shot out of bed and immediately searched for my discarded clothing. "FUCK!!! Where the hell is my underwear?" I screeched as I scampered around, hunting down my tiny thong.

Ugh, the miniscule piece was on the foot of the bed, ripped to shreds. _Huh, I didn't recall them being torn,_ I thought, annoyed.

I'd die if he came out of the shower and found me still waiting here, pondering about him, about us, like a good little rabbit. Not a chance in hell! I haughtily left his house and slammed the door so hard I was surprised it didn't come off its hinges.

With my gloom and doom demeanor, I drove back to the dorms.

UCSB was not only known for its good programs, but was also notoriously known across the nation as a top party school. _Oh yeah_ , I planned to hit the party circuit hardcore, not tonight, though.

Tonight, I planned to lick my wounds, recharge and shuffle the riotous order that was racking my brain.

I had dumped him, hadn't I? Then, why did it feel like he was the one who dumped me? Damn him! That farewell parting sealed it for him. I guess you could say he won. Carter was insufferable.

News of my break-up with Carter would spread like a bad wildfire on a windy California day. The women would rejoice once more. Their famed stud was back on the market. I'd have to mentally prepare myself for what that would entail for me. I'd have to watch him find his new fuck buddy amongst the onslaught of awaiting women who wanted a piece of our school's hottest athlete.

Carter Mason was now single and ever so ready to mingle.

Would my heart be able to bear it when he found someone new?

# Chapter 3

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."

~William Shakespeare

Rise and shine princess!" Lindsey pulled the down comforter off me.

I groaned. _Not today, Lindsey! I can't bear to face the world. Let me just wallow for a few more days_ , I silently begged my friend.

"Leave me alone, Linds!" I turned the other way, curling up with my favorite feather pillow.

"Suit yourself." I heard a thud on my side table.

The smell of coffee hit my sleepy senses. _Oh, darn it_. She knew me well; I couldn't resist my morning cup of Joe. Evil, evil woman.

Lindsey sat on the side of my bed and squeezed my arm. "The news is out babe. You're officially axed! Now we should get you in good condition to come party tonight, bueno?"

I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. Her words sunk in and my gut started to churn. Carter and I were no more.

_Finito._

_Kaput._

_Dead._

I guessed I should have been thankful that I got out of that relationship in one piece? But it didn't feel like it.

"What time is it?" I sat up and greedily grabbed the hot coffee. My palms cradled it as I took a cautious sip. I smiled when I saw Lindsey wearing her usual house garb; a skimpy thong and a long fitted cami.

"It's almost noon. The girls plan to head out later tonight and party in Hollywood. I already booked us a suite at Chateau Marmont for our little getaway." She winked with a mischievous smile plastered on her face.

"You're on, lady!" I tried to sound excited. Just because Carter Mason and I were done, didn't mean I was going to let him push me into the darkness again. Maybe going out of town would be the best solution.

"Good, 'cause I'm not letting you mope around here while my stupid brother runs around town looking all chummy and unaffected," Lindsey muttered and left my room.

_I bet he was_ , I thought angrily. Carter wouldn't be known as a notorious playboy if he weren't an insensitive jerk.

With a heavy heart, I got up and headed to the bathroom to shower. I wasn't going to let him see me hurt. I was going to try to live my life like he didn't matter. It would be hard, but I could do it.

The old soppy and nostalgic Emma was gone. That Emma ended last night.

It was Saturday and I decided to treat myself to a mani/pedi at the nearest spa. If we were hitting the joints of Hollywood tonight, I couldn't appear raggedy and have that _I'm broken_ look' hanging on me. Carter certainly didn't deserve that. Even though my heart made a huge mistake falling for a man like Carter Mason, I certainly would not allow my pride to be trampled by him. At least in that, I got to have a choice.

Carter was not the only man on this planet and I was quite positive I would get over him. Life was about stages and phases. I wasn't going to dwell on my mistakes. Didn't we have to kiss tons of frogs before we ended up with the prince?

By six, I was ready to go. I was wearing a black, short, frilly skirt that I matched with a red, skintight, halter-top. I finished my ensemble with my favorite Louboutin lace booties. There was nothing much I could do with my short, blonde hair so I left it alone. For my make-up, I went for the smoky-eyed look and swiped soft pink lipstick and lip gloss on.

I used my pinky to touch up a spot on the outside of my lip that had a little smudge of color. Eyeing myself from side to side I mumbled, "I suppose this will do."

"You're a knockout, Em. No need to double check it," Lindsey spoke from behind me. I grinned at my friend, who I could always count on to bring my spirits up. "The other girls already left in a separate car. I thought it would be best that we drive there by ourselves and meet them at the restaurant. They tend to go a little crazy when we're all together and I don't want to have any fights tonight." "The girls" consisted of Amber, Trista and Cece. They were cool party friends, but Cece had a jealous streak, and Linds and Cece went _way back_ from high school.

"Uh, thank goodness. I don't think I can deal with you and Cece sparring with words all night," I said, agreeing with her.

Oh, and did I mention Cece had a thing for Carter? Yeah, she didn't seem too keen on me either. However, Amber and Trista were pretty cool and fun to hang out with. Lindsey introduced me to their little group and I became friends with them, too; well, except for Cece, _of course_.

We took Lindsey's BMW X5 and joined the chaos that was the 101 Freeway. It was Saturday and traffic was usually dreadful on the weekends. What should be an hour drive to Los Angeles could take two or three hours.

"We should've left earlier and checked in at the hotel rather than drive at this hour," Lindsey, frustrated, agreed with my thoughts.

Why didn't we think of that ingenious idea earlier?

I picked up her iPod and scrolled through her songs. "Play 'Ooh Ooh Baby' by Britney," she requested with excitement.

Another revelation, we jammed to Britney Spears. I mean, Britney did have some good party songs, _Toxic_ anyone? As much as I loved my mainstream pop music, I liked the 'trip-hop' genre and lots of alternative rock more.

I checked my phone for the umpteenth time with disappointment. Sullen, I leaned back and closed my eyes. _What did I expect?_ Carter wasn't the groveling type. He didn't chase women. It was the other way around.

It took us an hour and forty-five minutes to arrive in L.A. A feeling of excitement rushed through me as we exited Sunset Boulevard. The plan was for us to dine at a famous sushi restaurant and go clubbing at the Greystone Manor Nightclub then check-in at the hotel after.

Lindsey left her car with the valet outside the famed restaurant and I waited as she joined me. "Damn, Linds. I didn't realize your dress was so revealing!" She just waved her hand carelessly at me.

Her dress was super tight and had one of those diamond shaped-cut holes in the middle, exposing her belly button. If Cece would have worn this dress, she would've looked like a tart, but on Lindsey, it looked amazing; she looked like one of those snobby fashionistas. She carried herself with great certainty and a classy air of which I was jealous. I honestly didn't think she had any insecurities. I applauded her for that. Sometimes, it rubbed off on me and I _loved_ it!

The girls were already seated inside the restaurant and it didn't take long for us to get rowdy. Dinner took about two hours and even Cece was playing nice and being civilized. It was a relief to see the other side of her; her bitchiness was starting to bore the hell out of me.

By the time we got to the nightclub, we were in high spirits. The club was a celebrity hotspot and the line to get in snaked around the building, but thanks to Amber's connections, we didn't have to wait in it. Our fake I.D.'s weren't even checked.

It was almost midnight and the place was starting to get crowded. We were seated on one of the lounge's damask covered couches. The club was decorated in a neo-Renaissance theme that had a gothic-like feel. It was like the old and new Hollywood meshing together. The outcome was outstanding; it was stylishly posh and had a decadent atmosphere. I studied the place in wonderment. The décor alone probably cost millions. It was luxurious and sexy. Even the people here were sexy and beautiful. _What did I expect?_ This was Hollywood territory after all.

There was a commotion on the other side of the room. Trista blushingly whispered that Bass Cole was here. Everyone became excited, even Lindsey. I just shook my head at Cece's overeager enthusiasm. The poor woman looked like she was hyperventilating. I could just tell what was going through that head of hers.

Okay, maybe I was a little piqued. Okay. Total lie. _I was super psyched!_ Fucking Bass Cole in the house! Gah!

_Who wouldn't be?_ Bass Cole was one of Hollywood's most sought after movie stars and an everlasting heartthrob. His movie career blew up a couple years ago when he made one of those vampire movies and he's been a household name ever since. I admit, I saw the movie a few times, but don't remember much of it. _Was he a good actor?_ I didn't know. _Was the movie any good?_ No clue either. The only thing that stuck with me was Bass Cole was a hot piece of yummy handsomeness. All blond hair, tanned skin and the most striking blue eyes I'd ever seen were all I could conjure in my head. That about summed it up, I believed. Pathetic, wasn't it?

"God, I have to meet him! I love his movies and he's just _so_ hot!" Cece squealed and started to fan her cheeks furiously.

Uhm, I was sure she was going to try in earnest to get past all the people around him; good luck with that! Cece loved attention and she would do anything to be in the spotlight. She was, after all, an aspiring actress and she actually had a part as an extra a few times on some TV shows, but nothing major. I once joked that if she auditioned for _Playboy_ , she would be instantly hired. I remembered her murderous glare when I made that statement. _I mean, come on!_ Cece has 34 DD implants so when you spoke to her, all you saw were those big, hard jugs.

We were served a bucket filled with a large selection of bottled alcoholic beverages. Trista opened the bottles and started to mix drinks for everyone. By the looks of things, we were all going to get hammered tonight. Trista handed us her concoction.

Amber stood up. "I just want to make this toast to my newly, single friend, Emma. No guy is worth moping over, baby!" she screamed through the blaring music.

Oh, dearest! Did we need to make everyone here aware of that?

The rest of them hooted in agreement. "CHEERS!!!"

I cringed when I tasted the concoction Trista made. _Holy crap_ , this shit was deadly! I wasn't planning on puking my way out of the club tonight, thank you. Placing the potent mix back on the table, I glanced at my selections. I chose a bottle of champagne and poured a glass for myself. I made a satisfying sigh when the bubbles worked their magic. _Light, fizzy bubbles I could do_ , I thought contently.

Trista and Amber went dancing and Cece left to go manhunt. It was a typical girls' night out. Except Lindsey was stuck to her phone. Not typical.

"Brody again?" I asked just loud enough for her to hear me.

She nodded. "He's pissed off at me. He's drunk-texting." She waved the screen at me. I mouthed an "Oh" and she merely shrugged. She looked a bit bothered. _Maybe she felt something more than she let on?_ I wondered.

I hate those. I used to do that a lot... with Carter. I would send hateful and spiteful messages and he would always end up at my doorstep. I would open the door and he would just barge in there and take me to my room. It was crazy, but at the same time, I lived for those exhilarating moments of madness.

Amber came back with two cute guys. Trista, on the other hand, grabbed my hand and ushered me to the dance floor. I glanced back at Lindsey to invite her to come with us, but she was talking to one of the men.

The club was playing some popular dance music and it didn't take long for Trista and I to start swaying and dancing to the beat.

Trista leaned over and yelled in my ear. "I'm glad you came out with us tonight. I'm sorry about what happened with Carter, _but you know_ , it's Carter." She smiled.

Yup, it was Carter. No need to emphasize what that meant.

"Yeah, good riddance! It was starting to become mundane." I fibbed with great confidence. Trista smiled; the lights making her red hair and green eyes light up. I didn't think I had ever seen Trista sad or angry. She was always so damn cheery. How could anyone be so fucking cheery all the time? That must be exhausting, surely?

When my favorite song came on, I let loose and danced my hips and ass off. _Tonight was going to be my night!_ I thought ferociously.

Fuck Carter Mason. Fuck his hot tight ass that made me drool. Fuck his stupid swagger and sexy smirk. _No more!_ I screamed in my head as I danced with my eyes closed, feeling the beat vibrate through my body.

My breath caught when I felt a big hand capture my side.

I immediately tensed.

OH NO. DID CARTER FOLLOW US HERE?

"Can I dance with you?" a deep voice asked from behind me—a hot, masculine drawl that made my toes curl and my insides melt and quiver.

_OH._

My eyes snapped open.

# Chapter 4

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching."

~Randall G. Leighton

I hastily turned around and found the one and only Bass Cole staring me down with his azure eyes. I stared back, star-struck and dumbfounded.

With my mouth wide open, I thought wildly, _Bass Cole is right in front of me!_

TALKING. TO. ME.

_Wow_ , just wow! His sheer beauty totally caught me off guard. His movies didn't do him justice. My heated gaze landed on his soft, full pink lips. _Does he bite just as good as it looked in that movie?_ I wondered. His lips looked tempting.

He was tall; about six foot three. His dirty blond, bed-head hair looked so _deliciously_ sexy. Bass Cole was armed with the most sultry, lazy smile I had ever encountered, topped with some fucking adorable dimples. I was drooling on the spot.

_My, I'm tongue-tied. Can anyone be allowed to be this arrestingly beautiful?_

I stood frozen, not comprehending what the fuck Bass Cole just asked me. _Holy shit!_ He was even more perfect up close. _Get it together before you embarrass yourself!_ I chided my brain to fully function.

I was still reeling, but recovered a bit from the initial shock. Not saying a word, I spun around and held his hand that was clutching my hip. My soft hand held his large, masculine one. The touch sent electric currents up my arm. _God, I'm dying here!_ I thought as Bass firmly held me as we danced in synchronization, grinding and swaying erotically. His hand tightened on me as his free one started to caress my other side. _Goodness_ , _the man moves in quickly!_

_And man, doesn't he feel perfect. Argh!_

_Fuck you, Carter!_ I thought as I danced with Bass.

With his heated body grinding against mine, I got a whiff of his cologne and wanted to die on the spot. You see, I had a thing for a man's scent. I hated how some men used crazy strong cologne or a strong repulsive deodorant—it was a total turnoff. Bass Cole smelled like... well... perfection?

I knew you couldn't smell perfection, but I knew if you could, it would smell just like him. It was pure masculine with a hint of... citrus? I wasn't sure. All I knew was that it was an intoxicating blend of pure heady perfection.

When the song ended, I hesitantly moved away. _Time to let go of my erotic fantasy_ , I begrudgingly thought as I gave him a great big smile and a little wave. "It was great to meet you. Have a lovely night!" I called out to his taken aback expression.

Bass immediately grabbed my hand and pulled me close. "Wait. Do you want to join me and my friends at my table?" he invited, gesturing where his friends—who had all witnessed our intimate impromptu dance—were located.

Err, no. As hot as he was, flirting with Bass would not be the greatest idea. I knew I wanted to have fun tonight but Bass Cole... was, well... Bass Cole! It was rather overwhelming.

"I'm good. Thank you though." I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't budge.

"Okay, well can I invite myself to join you then?" Bass gave me another lazy smile.

God, his smile was freaking blinding! It was simply melting my resolve. "If you want to, I guess," I replied, unsure.

What he did next seriously made me smile and tingle all over.

"I'm Bass Cole." He gave me his hand to shake. _Really?_ I was sure he knew everyone in the club knew who he was. _But still_ , he was being nice. Darn, this guy was a total charmer.

"Emma Anderson." When I gave him my hand, I had expected him to shake it, but instead, he took it to his lips and kissed it. I gasped at the mere brush of his soft lips.

_Easy there, Lucian the hot vampire!_ I swooned. No wonder this man was one of Hollywood's finest! He went in for the kill without qualm.

Bass Cole's eyes looked entertained. I was sure this was quite the norm for him. Unexpectedly, he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I want you, Emma Anderson."

I swallowed, hard.

Wow. He was really, _really_ forward! I supposed things were done fast-paced around this town. I wasn't accustomed to it and I didn't plan to start tonight.

"I'm not going to have sex with you, you know. If that's what you're after, you're going to have to look elsewhere," I said with all seriousness and I meant it.

His eyes gleamed with pure amusement. "As much as that thought appeals to me right now, Emma Anderson, I don't have sex on first dates either."

His lazy smile got wider at my confused expression. Huh? A date?

"What date? We just met. This is obviously not a first date!"

"Oh, but it will be, Emma. It definitely will be," Bass whispered in my ear. The thumping music immediately vanished around me, his touch and voice dominated my senses. He softly chuckled at my frozen state. "So, want to introduce me to your friends?" He pointed a finger at my table and I saw that my friends were gaping at us with avid curiosity.

He was coming on to me _so hard_ I barely had time to think. Not a very good sign, if you asked me.

"Sure. I know someone who will be _very_ interested to meet you." I thought of Cece and how badly she wanted to meet him. Maybe those two could get together. Bass certainly wanted to hook-up with someone tonight. _Why not Cece?_

With my hand still intertwined with his, Bass guided us towards my table. When we got there, all the girls were giggly and excited to meet him.

"Guys, this is Bass, as all of you know already." My heart sped up when he squeezed my hand. "This is Cece, Trista, Amber and my good friend, Lindsey."

"Hello, ladies. Glad to make your acquaintance." Bass gave them his mega-watt smile and Cece and Trista sighed. I looked at all of their faces, a little embarrassed and a little amused by them. Bass definitely had fans at this table.

I slid inside the booth and Bass followed suit. Cece, who was sitting across from us, got out of her seat and sat next to Bass. _Here goes Operation Shameless Cece_ , I thought amusingly. I thought these two would get on _just_ fine. 'Player meets player' equaled perfect harmony.

I tried to pull my hand away from his grasp, but he clutched it tighter. What was it with this man? I needed some sort of privacy—even if it was just for a second.

Cece was talking animatedly about her plans of being a movie star to Bass and I caught Amber rolling her eyes; bored from listening to Cece's blabbering. Amber immediately got up and took Trista with her; the guys they met earlier were outside smoking and they were heading out to find them. I wished I was that brazen when it came to men, but I was known to get shy at the most uncertain times. Maybe it was because I wasn't really that experienced. I mean, apart from Lewis and Carter, I hadn't dated or had sex with anyone else.

Lindsey nudged my arm. "Total upgrade from my brother. I approve." She winked.

"You're crazy. I'm not hooking up with an actor who has a playboy reputation. Don't you think your brother traumatized me enough?" I quipped back, just loud enough for her to hear me.

A cell phone flashed brightly on the damask couch and I saw Brody's name on the screen. I glanced at Lindsey, who was nervously biting her lip. "Doll, Brody's here. Outside. He wants to talk. He's being very persistent and I just agreed to see him. The hotel room at the Chateau is under both our names so you can check in anytime; that is, if you get back before I do. Call me anytime, okay?" She leaned back and looked anxious.

With my free arm, I gave her a quick hug and kiss. "Give him a chance. He's a good guy, babe," I urged. I wanted her to see reason, but something was holding her back.

"It doesn't matter." She got up and gave Bass and Cece a quick goodbye and sauntered towards the exit.

I glanced back at the two people who were left with me as they chatted animatedly. I almost choked on a laugh when I saw Cece push her fierce boobs forward, giving Bass a great view of her rack. The two seemed to be getting friendly. They even shared a laugh or two when I was talking to Lindsey. _Maybe they are hitting it off_.

Time to move it, I supposed.

I didn't want to see them in action. _Why's that?_ _I thought you didn't want Bass?_ my fucking thoughts countered. Who knew really? What I _did_ know, though, __ was that I didn't want to watch it happen. Bass Cole was my wet dream come to life and I had gladly handed him to Cece—or she jumped on the opportunity more like it. Given my circumstances, I couldn't just throw caution to the wind and sleep with Bass, as he had hinted at earlier. It felt too early for me; I needed a time-out.

Imagine my frustration when he wouldn't let go of my hand when I tried to pull away, yet again. "Bass, I have to go to the bathroom."

"Let me take you," he suggested. I looked at him like he had grown horns.

"No, thanks. I'm good." He let go of my hand and I instantly scrambled to my feet.

Since I really didn't need to use the restroom, I opted to seek out Amber and Trista. Why did I feel the need to excuse myself from Bass' presence? Well, it could possibly be that he was way too much of everything for my palette. _Sure_ , he was drop dead gorgeous, but hadn't I just gotten out of a hot mess?

When I finally found the girls, they were already engrossed in conversation with their chosen men. I would have felt like an intruder if I had joined their cozy tête-à-tête. Without Lindsey as my side-kick, I felt like a fifth wheel.

I sighed, feeling lost and defeated. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. _Maybe it was a bad decision to come out tonight,_ I thought sullenly.

"Hey, why are you all sad?" a man's voice asked, a stranger.

I counted a few times before I fluttered my eyes open. An attractive, dark male was smiling down at me. I lifted my brow. "What makes you think I'm sad, _stranger?_"

He gestured his palm over his face. "You have this look about you. Guy problems, isn't it?" HUH? Was I that obvious to onlookers? _I really am officially PATHETIC_ , I thought with disgust.

"Possibly," I shot back. What was the point in lying? Didn't they say it was easier to talk to strangers about your problems because you'd never see them again?

"I think that you're too caught up with your emotions and you can't see the truth behind the façade. I think you should talk to him and clear the air, but once you do, a set of forbidding forces will be working against you. Another man or _two_ will seek for your love and attention. Be prepared; I am warning you. Your heart's pure, but know that this world sets out to taint the purest ones. Be strong and remember never to lose faith in yourself once it happens," the dark stranger voiced out grimly.

_What in the world is he talking about?_ How the hell did he know these things? Did people randomly say these things to strangers? So freaky and odd. "You don't know what you're talking about." I warily eyed the dark man who seemed to be full of knowledge.

"Maybe I do. I'm a psychic. It's what I do for a living and I can tell what's bothering you. I advise that you talk to him and go prepared. Your life is about to change; it will knock you back a few times before you see the truth. The man who will wholeheartedly deserve your love is the man who will be there at your lowest, the one who loves you in all your shades—the light, the hued and the dark." He gently squeezed my arm and left.

_What?_ After all that shit load of crap, he left? My mouth was gaping open as I watched him walk away and join the mass of the dancing crowd.

_What the hell just happened? Were psychics even real? Wasn't Miss Cleo a big hoax? She was... but that didn't mean they didn't really exist..._

_Weird_ , this entire evening was getting so freaking weird! It was like being in a low budget horror film, with me starring in the role of the unsuspecting victim about to be eaten by a zombie. _That was it!_ Surely this weirdness was a tell-tale sign to 'get the fuck out of here?' I didn't want to be eaten by zombies. Maybe it was time to get a move on and go back to the hotel. I could just nurse my broken heart for another night watching _The Notebook_. I felt totally drained and depleted.

Resigned, I weaved my way towards the entrance of the building. There was a heavy crowd tonight and it was difficult to move past the throng of people without bumping into them. I almost sighed with relief when I saw the exit, but a strong arm gripped me and tugged me into a darkened corner.

"What the fu—" I halted mid-sentence when Bass turned me around and placed a finger on my lips, hushing me. I swallowed. I bit back my tongue from snaking out and licking his finger.

His close proximity wasn't helping my jumbled brain. His eyes darkened as he studied my lips. _Shit, he's killing me here_. His thumb grazed my bottom lip and I held back the urge to wet my suddenly dry puckers.

His breathing hitched and when he did speak, it was raspy and seductive. "Call me crazy—call me _anything_ you like—but I want to get to know you, Emma. Give me the rest of the night to get to know you. The moment my eyes spied you tonight, I was mesmerized and I can't let you walk away." My eyes looked into his, seeking answers, seeking reason.

"I don't know about that, Bass." Was this about sex again? Hadn't I declined him?

"Tonight, _just tonight..._ that's all I ask, Emma. I know you barely know me, but I give you my word, I will not do anything you don't want me to do, I promise," Bass assured me.

He would be an honorable gentleman? Hmm.

Was I crazy? This hot movie star wanted to get to know me and here I was contemplating whether I should agree or not. What was wrong with me?!

"Why? What do you have in mind?" I asked, needing assurance. I was still mending my broken heart. I couldn't possibly let loose and be with another man straight away, even if it _was_ Bass Cole who wanted me to lose it with him.

"All I want to do is talk and enjoy your company, nothing more." The heartthrob even managed to look desperate. _Damn_ , he was a good actor.

"Fine, as long as you _keep_ your promise, okay? No sex of any kind or shit will turn very ugly," I warned him, but he just gave me his mega-watt smile.

"Thank you, Emma Anderson. I promise you won't regret this." His finger traced my bottom lip again, ever so slowly.

_Shove me in the burning furnace, why don't you?_

"You better," I croaked back.

His gentle brush made me a little breathless. _Wasn't I in love with Carter? Then, why did Bass make me feel like this and make me forget that Carter existed?_ Carter Mason. He was possibly somewhere in Santa Barbara... quite __ possibly nestled in between a woman's legs.

My thoughts were diffused as Bass held me tighter. He pressed his hard muscled body against mine. His delicious scent overpowered me, making me think of his skin, his taste and those unforgettable lips. My whole body shivered from being this close to him.

"Exquisite beauty," Bass rasped out, staring at me with dilated eyes.

Slowly, his hand caressed my neck and jaw with soft gentle strokes. It was driving me senseless with want and need. His touch utterly seared me; my skin was on high alert and sensitive to his touch.

_Oh, fucking hell,_ I freaked _._

I gulped down what little saliva I had when he pressed against me, his face next to mine.

"I told you we would have our first date tonight," he whispered intoxicatingly into my ear. His hot breath brought a soft moan from my lips.

_Dear Almighty, what have I gotten myself into?_

# Chapter 5

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."

~Herman Hesse

Bass was on his phone when we emerged from the club, but he stayed close to me with his strong arm holding my hips. A black Escalade pulled up in front of us almost immediately and a few cameras flashed out of nowhere, nearly blinding me.

Paparazzi were everywhere.

"Bass, who's your date tonight? She's hot!" a guy asked and flashed his camera at us.

"Good choice tonight, Bass. Is she fresh meat?" another one from the annoying goodbye party asked.

"Bass!" someone yelled at the top of his lungs.

Christ.

"Bass Cole, over here! Is she your new girlfriend?" another man asked.

A few security men came over and ushered us towards the waiting SUV. Who would have thought that getting into a vehicle a few feet away would take forever?

I was relieved once I got in the SUV. Once inside, Bass profusely apologized. "Sorry I didn't warn you about the paparazzi. They can be very obtrusive sometimes. I should've prepared you for that."

"It's all right. I mean, you're a celebrity; that comes with the territory, I guess," I mumbled back to him.

"Where do you want me to take you, Sir?" the chauffer asked.

"Just take me back to my place, Lou. I need to pick up my car."

"Right away, Sir," Lou replied and focused on the traffic.

_Shit_ , _we're going to his house to get his car. Shit._ I had no fucking clue where this night was heading. I certainly didn't expect to end up with a fucking celebrity, let alone with Bass Cole of all men! Hell, I was super nervous. With the leather seat and my short dress, I could feel my legs start to sweat.

Bass' cell phone was constantly ringing and beeping. How did he live his life like that? It was disconcerting.

"Hey, Turner!" I heard him say as I watched the passing cars before me. "No, dude, can't join the crowd. I'm with Emma." I smiled at the way he said my name. He sounded like he'd known me for a while and not just a couple of hours.

I could just imagine this Turner dude asking, ' _Who the heck is Emma?_ ' because Bass replied, "My date for the evening. Now, if you don't mind, go hassle someone else. Gotta go. Bye."

"Are you okay?" he murmured as he moved closer, not touching me, but close enough that I could feel the heat of his body.

"I don't know. I'm thinking 'what the fuck' right now," I answered him with honesty.

He chuckled at my retort.

"Try to relax. I won't let you down," Bass promised with seriousness.

I muttered 'uhhmm' and reverted back to looking through the glass absentmindedly. He was silent the rest of the ride and I was quite thankful that he was. I needed to gather my thoughts.

Lou drove up a long winding driveway and stopped in front of an impressive house made almost entirely of glass. When he opened my door for us to step out, I suddenly felt anxious. _I am so out of my league here_ , I thought with a moment of insanity.

When Lou bid us goodnight and left, Bass held my arm and pulled me towards his home. Once he managed to open the door, the lights immediately flickered to life.

Wow, I thought as I took in my surroundings.

An entire glass wall panel was made into a waterfall. The open space was done elegantly in black, white and silver with cerulean blue accents that meshed quite chicly. It was all very masculine and I was impressed.

"I want to tell you that your house is gorgeous, but you probably hear that all the time," I said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Thank you. I do, but it's a first from you. So, it counts." With his arm around my waist, he nudged me forward. My heels echoed loudly against the black marbled floor. "Come on, I want to show you the view from the patio."

The view before me was simply amazing. Situated on a hilltop, the bright lights of Los Angeles sprawled before our eyes, vast and mysterious. It was utterly captivating. The famous Hollywood sign could be seen in the distance. Magnificent, was all I could think. My eyes took in the sight before me with great fascination.

"It's marvelous, isn't it?" he asked from behind me. I merely nodded in agreement. It was truly majestic. Bass cleared his throat and his dark, toe-curling voice asked, "You're a new guest in my home, Emma Anderson. What can I get you for refreshments?"

"Red wine and water, please."

Bass smiled lazily. "Right away, Miss."

Charming, just charming... and he was disturbing my lucidity.

I followed him further inside the house and watched as he moved about his impressive kitchen. I leaned over the island as he gathered my drinks. He was nice to look at and I couldn't seem to drag my eyes away from him. _Okay_ , I conceded. He was _more_ than nice to look at—he was epic. I could look at his smoldering eyes and his lazy smiles all night long.

" _So_ , where did Cece go?" I lightly inquired. Did they exchange numbers? I wouldn't put it past Cece.

I caught him hide back a smile. Goodness, that smile of his... _Shit_ , why was it that I felt the urge to just jump on him and kiss him? Wow, I was really crushing on him big time.

"I knew what you were doing, you know. I have to tell you that I feel insulted—truly and deeply insulted—that you would ditch me and hand me over to someone else, but you weren't that slick." Bass shook his head, smiling. "I caught you at the right moment." He made an emphasis of the word 'caught.'

Ha! _If only..._

Bass handed me a bottle of water then opened a bottle of red wine and took out two wine glasses.

_Such a yummy, fascinating specimen to look at..._

"Whoops. Thought it was a match made in Heaven," I jested back at his grinning face.

"Not even close. Not. Even. Close," he murmured as he left for the patio, barefoot.

I followed him and watched as he placed the items on the table and turned on the huge outdoor marbled fireplace. He then went back inside to get something else. I walked towards the rattan chaise lounge and rested my aching feet.

The ambiance around here was getting cozy and downright romantic. Bass Cole, a true romantic? I wished, but I guessed that acting had taught him a thing or two about romance. This was a step more than what Carter had ever shown me. I should just bask in it and not over-think it.

My phone rang inside my purse and I instantly reached for it. Maybe I shouldn't have because I gasped when I saw who my caller was.

Carter Mason's name was flashing manically at me.

After a few more flashes, it stopped.

I had nine missed calls and two text messages from Carter. Curious, I hastily opened my messages.

Carter: _Where the fuck are you?_

_Great, so_ now _he's worried?_

Carter: _Cece just posted a video on Facebook of you and some celebrity guy dancing. What the fuck were you thinking?_

_What the fuck was I thinking? You have got to be kidding me!_

Carter: _Pick. The. Fuck. Up!!!!!_

_Bastard!_

I didn't even bother responding to his stupid texts.

A big part of me was delighted that he was affected by this. What girl wouldn't be? It was a big slap in his face. Did he really think I would sit back and cry over him after how he treated me the last time I saw him? How he didn't even have the decency to look me in the eye when he left me bedraggled and naked on his bed? It took him, what? Like a whole three minutes to fucking ditch me for a shower after he came? Prick.

No! Carter Mason was history.

He was, wasn't he? Then why did I feel a sudden pang of sadness?

My thoughts of Carter went on hiatus when Bass came out with a tray of food and placed it on the table. It consisted of fruits, brie and crackers, cold cuts, black and green olives, cherry tomatoes, dark and milk chocolates, a slice of strawberry cheesecake and chocolate cake, and a bag of Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream chips.

I laughed. "This is a very interesting mix you've got here, Bass."

He blushed and placed his hands in his pockets. "I didn't know what you wanted so, I, uh, guessed." He really blushed! Maybe he wasn't the playboy the tabloids portrayed him to be? Didn't they like to exaggerate to get more sales?

Amused, I graciously thanked him as he handed me a glass of wine. He sat on the larger rattan outdoor couch to my left. Leaning back, he popped a cherry tomato in his mouth _. So fucking hot_ , I thought and quickly looked away, a bit bothered.

"So... what do you want to talk about Bass?"

"You, anything and everything about you." His magnetic gaze studied me. My throat went dry as I felt the heated scrutiny of his blue eyes. _God, help me. Why did this man affect me so much? I just met him for Pete's sake!_

I took a careful sip of the wine and savored the smoothness as it went down before I went on. "Let's see, I'm a college student at UCSB, major _undecided,_ for now. I love cheesy movies and have a thing for athletes. I get emotional—especially a week or two before my period. I treasure those who are dear to me and eject the people who aren't. I stock up all of my fortune cookies until I have over twenty of them and eat them all in one sitting. I come from a loving home so I'm not emotionally crippled in that sense. The only issues I have with my parents are their persistent nagging for me to become a doctor. We have a family cat named Tumble, who I am chronically allergic to, but I love all the same. I have a ten-year-old pillow that I wash constantly, mind you, but can't let go of. And yes, it is a tad ratty, but I just can't part with it."

He chuckled. "Ratty pillow, emotional, undecided and allergic to cats, gotcha. And you have a thing for athletes? Say, David Beckham?"

"Uh, who doesn't have a _thing_ for him?" I countered back, aghast at his question.

Becks was _the_ prime hotness. Show me a single soul who didn't pant and ogle at those delicious Armani ads, especially at that sexy _package_ of his? Right? Exactly my point.

"So, actors... you don't have a thing for?" he asked, his eyes peeked at me through his lashes, smoldering like the hot man that he was! His sex appeal was off the charts. If I got to see his hot, naked body, I would devour this lovely creature and lick every ridge of those dang abs of his.

_Wait_ , was the great Bass Cole fishing for compliments?

"No, not yet." I pressed my lips together, hiding a smile.

He grinned. "You are something else, aren't you?" He placed his hands behind his head and I couldn't help gawking at his muscular arms. "Are you dating anyone, Em?"

Being forward, wasn't he?

I shook my head. "No, not anymore. It ended yesterday actually, if you really want to know."

"Oh, wow. I didn't expect that," he muttered.

"Expect what?" I glanced at his boggled state. What did he mean by that?

"That you're on the rebound."

Uh, what the hell?

" _Who said I was on the rebound?_ " I exasperatedly asked the mysterious man across me. Cece? It had to be Cece.

"That's just a given. A person is on the rebound for a month after breaking it off with someone, especially if the person they broke it off with actually meant something, then that's another shitload of shenanigans."

_Okay..._ he was complicated and odd to say the least.

"Can I just say that... _you're weird?_ I never thought Bass Cole would be weird until this moment."

"Ha. You are too cute sometimes."

Gee, thanks. Looking cute was what I had aimed for tonight—not. _Cute?_ Cute was for kids, not a grown almost twenty-one-year-old woman!

Diverging from the touchy subject, he continued on. "What are your favorite films?" he asked as he prepared crackers with cheese and olives on them. Placing them on a cocktail napkin, he handed them to me. I murmured my thanks. The man had such gracious manners—so unlike Carter.

I took a small bite and spoke, " _Eurotrip_ was a blast. _The Notebook, Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, Kingdom of Heaven, Defiance_ and _Closer_ to name a few."

"Interesting choices you have there. I like it. So, what did you like about _Closer_?" he inquired as he watched me eat and talk.

I shrugged. "What's not to like? It was a great film with great actors. The story was moving and relatable."

"So, you _condone_ cheating then?" he pressed, figuring me out.

"No, I never said that. I don't condone it. I meant it was relatable in a sense that our society has made it somewhat okay. If a famous celebrity cheats on someone, they publicize it to the hilt and it's portrayed as acceptable to some, I supposed. I wish they didn't though because it sets a bad example to others."

"Good answer."

"Thank you," I murmured and downed my drink. Excellent choice of wine, I thought to myself.

_This was surreal..._

"Tell me, why _The Notebook_?" He was still pressing for answers.

"Because that movie was hella awesome!? But to answer your question, I loved how committed the hero was to his love. His unfaltering dedication to the promise he made years back was astounding. I mean, he truly, deeply loved her. It's that kind of love that stays with you, you know? The kind where it haunts you and there is nowhere to hide..." I trailed off, my thoughts on Carter and my wasted love. My heart gripped me for a second. I thought back at how cold he was when he told me to gather my things and leave his house. I was instantly brought back to the present.

"Have you had _that_ kind of love?" he inquired, pressing me further.

"I thought I did once, but it was a mirage... there was no point on holding on to it. Maybe one day I'll get to have it. I would consider myself lucky if I ever did, not a lot of people can say that they have though." I glanced at him and asked, "What about you? Have you ever had it? _That kind of love,_ I mean." I had to clarify it just in case he took my question as an innuendo.

He smiled at my inquisition as his eyes glittered at me.

"No, not yet, but if I do, I will embrace it and hold onto it for as long as I can. I haven't loved a woman before. It's not that I'm hiding from it, it just hasn't happened. I do know that once I do, this woman would consume me and I would gladly surrender to it, _to her_. I would be enslaved to it and love her wholeheartedly, no holds barred." Bass spoke with utmost depth and conviction.

_That was quite intense and deep._ That woman would be very lucky indeed. Imagine all this hot goodness as yours to conquer and behold.

_Jealous much, Emma?_ I cringed at my stupid thoughts. Was I drunk already? Surely because my mind couldn't be tamed. It just kept on wandering about.

"Do you want to drive somewhere, Em? We can go wherever you like," he asked softly. His question was much appreciated, but unnecessary.

"It's okay. I kind of like it here; it's very peaceful. I'd like to stay here, if you don't mind?" I didn't want to leave the beautiful scene before me.

The scene was 'the view on the patio' and the beautiful man beside me.

# Chapter 6

"Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. This person is one you could forever talk to. They understand you in a way that no one else does or even could. This person is your soul mate, your best friend. Don't ever let them go, for they're your guardian angel sent from heaven above."

~Author Unknown

It was six in the morning and we were still on the patio, lounging and talking. The fireplace was still burning strongly, giving us enough heat to fight off the chilly morning air that had settled in.

Bass was kind enough to grab two blankets to help keep us warm. He moved another chaise lounge and placed it next to mine. He even arranged them facing the view of the city as we tucked ourselves in the nice warmth of the blankets, side by side. He took the liberty of brewing us coffee and we drank it quietly. It was a comfortable silence.

Until I died, if we became friends or not, I would never forget that sweet moment with Bass Cole. The man sure knew how to make a first impression. He kept to his word and he was a true gentleman. The entire time we just chatted on and on about whatever subject we could think of. I didn't know there was a guy out there who liked to talk. Most men I knew didn't care for idle chitchat. Imagine my surprise when this hottie turned out to be different. Bass certainly was in a league of his own, unlike all the other guys I knew.

"The sun should be rising soon. I want you to see it. It's really beautiful," he murmured out of the blue.

I glanced at him, wondering if I heard him right. _He loved watching sunrises?_

"I can hear you thinking, you know. On nights I have a hard time sleeping, I come out here and wait for the sun to come up. _And no_ , I haven't shared my sunrise with anyone else. You're my first, Emma Anderson." Bass gave me a quick glance and I gave him a smile. I wasn't sure what that meant, but it felt good.

The sun was brimming behind the mountains. Its blinding yellow heat glistened from afar as it slowly moved upwards towards the sky. This was Mother Nature at her finest. How many times had I enjoyed a sunrise or a sunset?

Bass took my hand, placed it inside the comforter and held it against his chest. I didn't mind it because it felt, comfortable? It was as if we had done this before, it was an odd feeling really.

After the sunrise, we were still cuddling and I wondered why I didn't feel a bit sleepy. "Aren't you tired, yet? Don't you have a movie to shoot or whatever things actors do?"

"I just finished filming two weeks ago and got back in L.A. about a week later. I have no plans on this very bright, sunny Sunday. Feel like joining me on my lazy day off?" he invited.

_As tempted as I was, I should say no. I barely knew him. Surely, spending too much time with him so soon would be a bad idea?_ "I don't think so. I bet my friends are wondering where I am."

"Don't worry. They know you're with me. I told Cece I was taking you somewhere."

Oh. He was that sure I was leaving with him?

"Are you always this forward? Towards women, I mean." I wanted to figure him out, to find out what his motives were.

"Of course. I don't have to work all that hard to get women, to be honest, but you're the only one I've had to chase after. When I noticed that you had been gone for a long time—too long to use the bathroom—I realized you had ditched me and dumped me on your friend, Cece. I had to find you. I couldn't let you walk out of the club without me. I don't know why, but I just couldn't. That's crazy, isn't it? There I was, I had barely spoken a few words to you and yet I was captivated."

His words... made me feel _something_. Scared wasn't the word, no, it was more like... _safe?_ Yeah, along the lines of safe.

"Could it be your rejection or aloofness that made you different? No clue. One thing I do know—your pure beauty compelled me to seek you out. Your honesty and depth pushed me even further. It's frightening and at the same time, fascinating. Knowing that, I couldn't let you walk away."

Oh my God, what a fucking speech! Who _said_ those things? _An Oscar winner, perhaps?_

"What do you want from me, Bass?" I asked, eyeing him as he silently studied me. His azure eyes locked with mine and wouldn't let me go, their powerful intensity pulled me while their spell weaved through my defenses.

"I want to get to know you, Emma."

Okay, that was easy. I could work with that.

"So, you want to get to _know_ me only, right _?_ And this is not some ploy to get me into bed?" I turned to my side, looking at his face that was inches away from mine. My eyes studied his profile. And what a fucking profile! His face was perfectly sculpted. Each curve was honed to perfection. His full lips, straight nose, perfect brows. He even had thick, long lashes. I even thought they were a tad longer than mine! How annoying was that?

If there were a man who could make me get over "The Carter Mason Fever," Bass was it and I knew it, too, but that would be using him, wouldn't it?

_People do it all the time_ — _Yeah, but why question the dating karma cycle? Good point._

Bass cleared his throat before he spoke, " _Hell_ , I do want you in my bed, but I wouldn't want to insult you by trying to get you to sleep with me. Not only that, the idea that you might be on a rebound doesn't sit well either. Apart from that, I do want to get to know you. The _real_ you; what makes you tick and stuff. Simple as that—nothing scary or anything."

" _Like friends_ , then?" I double checked.

"Sure, as friends, _for now_. My intentions are much more geared towards another path, but if that's what you want to start out with as a platform—a common ground—then so be it. Whatever makes you feel comfortable, Em, and I really mean that."

How was it that I didn't have to explain myself fully to him? He seemed to just know and get it.

It was disconcerting to say the least.

"Good. I'd like that very much, Bass." I glanced at him as he stifled a yawn. "You should sleep and I should head back to my hotel," I suggested.

Bass shook his head. "No. I love having you here with me and I like holding your dainty hand very much. Don't go yet." He tried to hide another incoming yawn.

_Gosh_ , he even makes yawning look sexy. "All right, I'll wait until you're passed out and then I'll leave."

He handed me his phone. "Program your number, please, and set the alarm two hours from now? I promise I will call my driver to come get you and take you back to your hotel."

I consented, "Two hours. Tops." _You sure you're not just staying because you don't want to leave his side?_

"Thank you," he murmured and finally closed his eyes. Since my hand was on his chest, I felt his heartbeat slow down.

With one free hand, I programmed my number in his phone. I didn't dare browse through his contacts. I was tempted, but willed myself not to.

Whoa! I didn't even think about Carter over the past few hours. _How the heck did that happen?_ I thought happily. Bass Cole's charms were amazing, indeed!

I studied his striking profile and wondered how such a fucking beautiful man like him could see something in me. How the hell did I get myself into more trouble? Carter was enough of a problem as it was. Now I had added another man into the mix. _This shit could get complicated as hell_ , I thought as my heavy eyes closed.

# Chapter 7

"When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life."

~Jean Shinoda Bolen

I could feel the heat of the sun starting to scorch my back. I groaned and tried to rollover to my other side, but my hand was tucked somewhere. Bass was still holding it. Slightly opening my dreary eyes, I squinted at the bright surroundings. I shifted a bit and heard Bass grunt something as he started to wake up.

"Good morning sunshine."

"Good morning..." I said in between yawns then stilled. _Shit, what time was it?_

"Oh my God, I have to get back!" I got up and hunted down my purse. When I got to it, I fished out my phone. Carter and Lindsey each called a few times and there were a few messages from both of them. Ignoring Carter's messages, I scrolled to read Lindsey's.

Lindsey Mason: _Em, I have to get back to SB. Sorry, this was unexpected. Could you get a ride from the girls? Thanks, babe._

_Oh, no way._ Why did she have to leave so soon? Wasn't this her bright idea to begin with? No, no, no, no, no!

I was not going to ride back home with the girls. I honestly didn't feel like being interrogated by them. _This totally sucked_.

"Is everything all right, Em?" Bass sat up from the lounger and scrambled to his feet.

"I, um..." My voice trailed off as I watched in total fascination as he stretched. His black shirt lifted up, showing off his famous abs.

I licked my lips as I stared.

Why did he have to be so... _hella sexy?_

" _Yes,_ Emma _?_ " Bass caught me admiring him and now he was teasing the heck out of me.

Blushing and a tad mortified, I excused myself to the bathroom. Once inside the house, I realized I didn't have a clue where the bathroom was. I quickly turned around to look for Bass and found that he was right behind me—with a massive smile on his face."Where is __ the bathroom?" I reddened a little more as I asked the question.

"Come here." He pulled me towards him and gave me a hug, enveloping me in his large, muscled body.

OH. MY. WORD!

My senses were on full alert as I inhaled the scent of him _. Boy did he smell fantastic!_

He pulled back a little and looked at me, our faces merely inches away. "You know you look even more beautiful when you blush like that?" Bass whispered.

The cat got my tongue. My mind went blank and all I could see was Bass and his amazing eyes, dilated and very much locked on me.

Compelling me...

Calling me...

I snaked my tongue out to wet my lips and his eyes zeroed in on them. He pulled my face a little closer and I closed my eyes, readying for his kiss, but his lips landed on my jaw and he nuzzled his nose all the way to my ear then he whispered, "You're not ready for my kiss yet, my darling Emma. _When I do kiss you_ , I will be the _only one_ you can think of, the _only one_ that can possess you and no one else. You, madam, are certainly _not_ ready for that kind of possession."

His words weighed heavily on me. Bass was right, though, I wasn't ready and I appreciated him being noble about it because if he had chosen to kiss me, I wouldn't have pulled away and I might've ended up regretting it later on. He was merely a stranger and yet, he respected me.

He was simply remarkable.

Bass kissed my forehead and squeezed me tightly. "Go freshen up while I make us some breakfast. Take two lefts and the bathroom is on the right. See you in a bit." With another kiss on my head, he strolled towards his enormous stainless steel kitchen.

I just stood there and watched him walk away.

_Oh My God! What was going on?_ My nerves were all over the place! I was confused as hell. This was like an odd dream or one of those movies where the plot was too good to be true and then out of nowhere an axe murderer joined in and killed the happily ever after.

Mentally shaking my head, I followed the directions he gave me and found the bathroom without difficulty.

"I look like a bedraggled cat," I voiced out loud as I stared at my reflection.

I fished out my phone and called Amber. After two rings she picked up. " _Girl_ , you are getting it on!" Amber announced happily.

I groaned. Did I expect anything else? They were going to tease the hell out of me until they get some juicy info. Shit. Here we go. "Listen, Linds left and went back to the dorms and I was hoping I could ride back with you guys."

"Oh no, we left like an hour ago, doll. We're like around Summerland, babe. Sorry, cupcake." Amber did sound sorry.

_Oh crap, what the hell was I supposed to do?_ I groaned. Uh, this is what I got for being so idiotic. Why didn't I figure this out last night? Since when had I ever been so unprepared? The old me would've made sure I had a ride before I left the club last night. The _new_ Emma was obviously too star-struck to think coherently

Ugh!

"You know, why don't you ask the bad boy BC himself? I bet he has a hot ride!" Amber suggested with tons of innuendos in between her words.

Bad boy BC, _was that his nickname?_

"Emma! Was he good in the sack?" I could hear Trista in the background. I guess the entire car could hear me. Damn speaker phones!

"Good God! I didn't sleep with him!" I countered back. This was still unchartered territory for me, dating and the like. _I was still learning here, I wasn't going to just start sleeping around._

"No fucking way, why not? THIS is _The_ Bass Cole, Emma! You're such a bore whore!" Amber sounded aghast.

Thank you, I guess?

"Need I remind all of you that I just broke it off with Carter? Yeah—exactly! I am a bore whore, whatever."

"Carter's pissed as shit. You better watch out for the angry monster when you get back in town," Cece added with derision.

_Yeah, because you posted fucking videos on Facebook! Who fucking does that?_ _Of course_ , she's friends with like the entire campus. _Of course_ , each person who saw it would mention it to Carter. Carter Mason was like their freaking school hero. They simply loved him.

"Gee, thanks for the heads-up. Anyway, I have to go and look for a ride elsewhere," I muttered.

"Damn straight! And that ride better be Bass Cole's warrior! You better tell me the deets and how he is between the sheets. Please, please, please!" Amber begged. She was obviously going bonkers.

"There's no point in arguing with you, _is there?_ See you later, girls!" I laughed and cut off the call before they threw any more innuendoes my way.

After I washed my face, rinsed my mouth out with some mouthwash I found and applied some lip gloss, I came out of the bathroom. How would I bring up my dire ride situation to Bass? What if he has other plans? Maybe I could call a taxi to take me or better yet, I could just rent a car somewhere.

As I entered the kitchen, Bass gave me a dazzling smile. "Come sit and talk to me while I cook. Which hotel are you and your friends staying at again? I'll drive you there myself."

I strode towards the kitchen island, sat on one of the stools and watched him master the kitchen. "That might be a problem. It seems that they all left already and I'm stuck alone in Los Angeles."

"No problem. I can take you back to campus." He shrugged and continued to chop mushrooms like a Michelin star chef. Impressive.

"Where did you learn how to cook?"

"I was a chef in one of my movies and I had to train with this five-star chef for three months before shooting."

"Wow, three months? What movie was it?" I hadn't seen any of his films except for that first vampire movie. Amber and Cece had told me there were two more and another one was in the works.

Bass smirked at my innocent question. "How many films of mine have you _seen_ , Emma?" He cracked four eggs in a bowl, peppered them, added a dash of salt and rapidly scrambled them. His large hands were even nice...

" _Knights of Cimmerian_."

"Did you like it?" he inquired as he drizzled olive oil into the heated pan.

"Sure, it was great!" I fibbed.

"What did you like about it?" he pressed on, again.

Shoot.

Your rock-hard abs and that sexy, crazy, erotically charged sex scene that had gotten me so aroused in the movie theater. I clearly remembered how his sculpted, firm ass looked as he made love to the woman in the movie.

"Everything... it was... great." I bit my lip as I looked at him through my lashes.

He barked out a loud laugh.

And what a... _fucking stop it, Emma_ , I scolded myself as I lusted from afar.

"It's either you didn't like it _or_ you weren't paying attention. So which is which?" Busted! I suck at lying.

"I wasn't paying attention. Sorry. When you asked, I didn't know what to tell you to be honest."

"Don't worry, babe, I'm not offended." He winked at me as he prepared our breakfast.

I made toast, coffee and cut up some fruit while he cooked.

We ate at the island counter and I noticed how his eyes looked even more spell-binding in the daylight.

It was past noon when we left his house and drove back to Santa Barbara. His bright blue Lamborghini Gallardo weaved through the traffic and I couldn't help looking at his hands when he shifted gears. I loved men that could drive a stick.

He looked so fucking edible in his aviator shades, wearing a simple white shirt and dark jeans. He looked like every bit of the heartthrob that he was. I was crushing hard on Bass.

As we got closer to school, my stomach nose-dived at the thought of seeing Carter again. Did he hook up with another woman last night? Quite possibly; it didn't take him long to jump in bed with me after his conquest before me. It was what? Two days, three maybe? We had sex on our second date. We almost did it on the first date, but we were at a party with our friends and got too drunk to do anything.

Carter didn't talk about his feelings at all. Instead, he expressed them through his actions, usually during sex. When we fought or he was angry, he would take me hard and fast. When he was happy, he teased me and tickled me and left me begging for him to take me. Yeah, I think I fell hard during his happy phases, sadly.

I still hadn't read the rest of his messages, but I couldn't fathom going over them right now. I bet he's just angry that I was with Bass only a day after I dumped him.

What else would he be so angry about?

# Chapter 8

"Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid."

~Fyodor Dostoevsky

When we exited the freeway and were closer to my place, I gave Bass directions to my dorm.

He parked the car and killed the engine then looked at me silently.

The silence stretched for a good minute before I spoke; unsure how to take it from here. "It was nice to meet you, Bass. It really was. I had a great time; bizarre, but enjoyable nonetheless." I grinned at the studious man beside me. My smile faltered when he didn't smile back. Why was he so serious all of a sudden? We were fine when we left his house.

"I have this dinner thing on Tuesday night for a film I just signed up to shoot this summer in Greece. Would you come with me and be my date?"

"Oh, don't you all discuss work details? I don't want to intrude on that." Not to mention, I would look like a complete idiot and so out of place.

"You won't. It'll be fun. The director is my godfather, actually. So it's going to be laid-back; don't worry. You're going to have a blast. Say you'll go with me?"

"Do people ever tell you _no_?" I cocked my brow at him. I somehow doubted he ever got a 'no,' especially from women.

A lazy, gorgeous smile etched on his face as he responded, "Well, there's this girl... she's stunning and funny and she has these beautiful blue eyes and golden hair and she doesn't seem to be interested in me, not one bit. I, on the other hand, feel compelled to be with her and to see more of her."

I nudged his arm. "Now you're just being silly, Bass."

"I'll pick you up at five, Tuesday afternoon?" He reached up to my face and his thumb grazed my bottom lip. His eyes darkened as he studied my slightly parted mouth.

_Why doesn't he just kiss me already?_ He was always looking at them.

_Oh, hell yeah_ , I knew he was staring at me; my skin would prickle every time he did. His gaze was that powerful; it affected me even if I wasn't paying attention to him.

"Bass..."

He looked at me, his eyes unreadable. "Did you love that guy you were with, Em?"

My throat ran dry. "Unfortunately, yes."

"I knew you did. I just needed confirmation. Thank you for your honesty." all right... then.

He got out of the car and opened the door for me. I cleared my throat as I stared at him; the sun was glowing behind him, almost blinding me. "Bass, I think you're great, but I don't think I'm what you're looking for. Everything's complicated with me right now."

He held my chin and forced me to look deep into his eyes, powerful in their passion, acute in their force. They reached something inside me.

"Aren't we starting out as friends as we agreed upon? Don't worry, Em." Bass gently kissed my forehead. "Be ready by five come Tuesday afternoon. I'll see you then." With that parting, he slid back inside his car, gunned the engine and raced out into traffic.

I was standing on the pavement, rendered speechless.

What a man...

With my purse in hand, I strode toward my building and into my dorm. Thoughts of the night spent with Bass raced through my mind. The sunrise... each time I saw one would forever bring me back to the night I spent with Bass.

I was about to unlock the door to my room, but before I could even get my key in the lock, it was yanked open by an angry looking Carter.

_What was he doing here? Probably to see Lindsey, they were siblings after all._

"Uh... hello," I said lamely as I started to walk towards my bedroom.

Carter jumped in front of me. "Is that all you have to say? A fucking hello!" In my sleep deprived state, it annoyed the hell out of me. What a drama queen! I was not in the mood to be bombarded by him at that time.

I looked up to face him as I folded my arms across my chest. "What do you want, Carter?"

Carter pulled me inside my room and shut the door loudly. He shoved me up against the wall and placed his hands on each side of my head, caging me in. "What I _want_ is for you to explain what the hell you're doing? The entire school knows about your little getaway and your little stunt with that actor dude." So what? Who cares about the entire school? I had fun and that's all that mattered.

"That's none of your business, Carter, and certainly not the entire campus's either. I couldn't care less about what they think. Now, will you please move? I need to rest. I'm exhausted." It was too late to realize that that was the wrong thing to say. It set off something in Carter. He looked downright murderous.

"You're exhausted? _From what_ , _Em_?" Carter's voice had gone low and deadly. I swallowed hard as I studied him. He _looked_ _deadly_ ; his eyes were so dark and dangerous. _Had I pushed him too far?_ No matter how angry he was, I knew for a fact that he would never, ever hit me.

"I said. That's. None. Of. Your. Business. Got it?" I spat the words back at him. If he was angry, I was angrier.

_How dare he march in here and act like this?_

"Don't do this to me, Em... this is driving me insane!" he spat out, wretchedly. I wasn't expecting that. Never from him.

I felt a spring of hope... _maybe_... just maybe... "I thought we were done?" I asked, watching him with uncertainty, trying to gauge his thoughts.

He closed his eyes and whispered, "I know, but I can't stomach the thought of you with another guy. I just can't. I'm going crazy here, Emma."

_Oh fuck, I feel torn. Did he have a change of heart?_

_Oh, fuck it! It's now or never._

Emboldened, I went for the kill. " _Do you love me?_ " I throatily asked.

His eyes instantly opened with my damning question, searching and pensive. "I told you I don't _do_ love, Em," Carter responded with distaste.

His words gutted me all the same. What was I thinking? He wouldn't just change after a few days. "Then there's no point of you being here, _now is there, Carter?_"

His dark eyes penetrated mine and my heart stopped when he spoke. " _Are you in love with me_ , _Em_? Is that what this is all about?" His hand cupped my cheek. The sudden contact of him almost undid me.

For some odd reason, I wanted to cry. I loved him so much, it was crazy. I felt crazy for wanting him to love me, even if it was just a small fraction of what I felt for him.

But alas, it was not meant to be.

"I don't." It was the biggest lie of all, but I wouldn't back down knowing he didn't feel the same way about me.

"You don't sound convincing to me and _if_ that's the reason why you broke it off, then I don't mind _that_ as long as you're with me again," he emphasized. How embarrassing was that?

He didn't mind that I loved him, did he? Well, great. Good for him because _I fucking minded!_ I minded that he didn't feel shit about me.

Romantic, was he not?

"Well, that's _your_ problem. Now, will you please get out of my room? I didn't sleep much last night and I need some rest."

"Em, is it true? Did you _spend the night_ with him?" His voice sounded pained again.

Was it pain, really? Or was it his bruised ego because I ended our stupid relationship? The question was a Catch-22 and I didn't know which answer to give him.

Did I spend the night with Bass? Yeah, I did. Did I have sex with him? That was a definite no.

"He took me back to his home. We spent the night together, if that's what you want to know." I pressed my lips together as I watched all kinds of emotions run through his eyes... his face. The way he looked at me, sliced me in two. There was so much hatred there, I felt pained and wretched. I wanted to reach out to him, but I didn't. We were past that.

He punched the wall next to me hard and growled like a maniac. I was surprised that the wall didn't have a hole in it. His knuckles—from what I could see—were cut open and bleeding, but it didn't seem to faze him.

"Goodbye, Emma," Carter whispered and marched out of my room, my life.

_What a stupid mess this was. I guess this really was goodbye for us._ It was the conclusion, the ending.

Why wasn't I crying? The night we officially broke it off, I felt every single pain that wracked through my body. Now, there was still pain, but not as intense or numbing. It was bearable. Heavy on my heart, but bearable.

It took me a good five minutes before I was able to move. I stripped off my clothing and jumped into bed in my underwear. I just wanted to hide inside my comforter and curl up. I definitely needed my brain to shut down and dream away. It took an hour for my pressing wish to happen and I was more than relieved when it did.

# Chapter 9

"Sometimes you need a second chance, because time wasn't ready for the first time."

~Author Unknown

I barely made it to my literature class the next day. I slept so soundly that I didn't even hear my alarm clock. When I did wake up, I didn't want to get out of bed.

Lazy bones.

For one thing, the rumor mill was probably going viral about Bass and me after that video _evil_ Cece uploaded; God only knew what the gossipers were whispering about. The break-up with Carter was big news around campus. Actually, it was probably MAJOR news. Second, I knew Carter would be around school and from our heated encounter yesterday, I honestly did not want to see him so soon.

After an hour discussion on Leo Tolstoy, the class was dismissed. As I got up to gather my belongings, two girls stopped in front of me.

"Is it true? That you're the _mystery woman_?"

_I'm a what?_ "I beg your pardon?" I questioned, looking wholly baffled at the two enthusiastic women.

"You're Bass Cole's _mystery_ woman. You're all over the gossip blogs and gossip magazines." No. Fucking. Way.

"Sorry, I have somewhere I need to be," I excused myself and left them whispering to each other.

Later, I was at the coffee shop, enjoying my macchiato, when Trista and Amber walked over to my table. Trista slapped a magazine down as they both sat across from me, each with a mile wide grin on their faces.

My eyes immediately darted to it. 'Who is Bass Cole's Mystery Woman?' it said in bold blue lettering. There were two large, grainy pictures of us on the front page. The first one was a picture of us leaving the club, Bass's arm clutched on my hip as he guided me towards the SUV. The second picture, on the other hand, was something else entirely. The picture was taken through the gates of his home and it showed him opening the car door for me—I was dressed in the same clothes from the club picture the night before—and as I looked up to his face, I was smiling and looking rather... well, _happy_. It looked like we had a great night fucking each other's brains out.

Pictures could really be deceiving and from what little I read in the article, it seemed like his fans were going on an online rampage trying to figure out who I was. "This _is_ bad," I muttered, freaking the hell out.

I wasn't worried about my parents because they barely had time to watch the news, let alone read a gossip magazine. Still, how was this going to affect me? What were people going to think of me?

"You think? This is awesome, babe! You're like Bass Cole's girlfriend!"

"I _am_ not! Stop saying that; people might hear you," I hissed at her as I looked around the coffee shop.

I warned her off, but she was grinning like she had won the lottery. "Oh, shut up! This is great! You should enjoy it! I mean, you should really enjoy Bass Cole... I would happily sell my grandmother if I could spend a night with him in my arms. What I wouldn't give to be with him for one night..." she trailed off, day dreaming her heart out.

Even if I wanted to "enjoy Bass" and all his glorified scrumptious body, the man wouldn't even kiss me, knowing the kind of emotional rut I was in.

"It's not like that with us. _Trust me_. I admitted that I had just broken up with Carter and stuff so that put him off a bit, I think."

Trista's eyes bulged out. " _For real?_ Emma! You're crazy! What woman would say shit like that when she was out with the hottest demigod in Hollywood?" Trista looked stressed out as she frowned at me. I couldn't stop the bubble of laughter that threatened to crack. Her expression was just too hilarious. "So, did he, like, dump you already? He's quite known for his one-night stands! I guess it's a good thing that he did dump you; it's not like you need another Carter in your life, _you know?_ Yeah, Emma, you're better off without Bass." Trista looked like she was trying to convince herself more than me.

Poor thing, she was so invested; I felt bad seeing her that way. "Actually, I am seeing him for dinner tomorrow. He signed onto a movie and some of the cast members are going to be there as well; to get to know each other and whatnot."

She jumped out of her seat and lunged at me with a big hug. Her shrieking caused some of the people to look at us to see what the ruckus was all about. I did say she was always damn cheery, didn't I?

"Trista Stevens, did you forget to take your anti-psychotic pill again?" Amber's question made Trista laugh so hard she started to tear.

"This is why I love you, Amber. Your twisted sense of humor never fails to entertain my boring life."

"Love you too, Tris." Amber blew Trista a kiss. "This is crazy!" she added enthusiastically.

It certainly was.

I was lost in thought, staring at the magazine cover when I felt Trista freeze next to me. "No dolls, this is about to get insane. Carter Mason just walked in and he doesn't look happy."

_Oh no. Not yet. I'm not ready to see him yet!_

Too late, when I looked up, he had just barely arrived at our table. Fuck my life!!! God, he looked so—so dark, dangerous and sexy; a total opposite of the blond hair, blue-eyed Bass.

"Can we talk outside?" He sounded ominous as usual; no nonsense or pleasantries, no 'Hello' or an 'Excuse me'.

I stopped gawking at his beauty and managed to quickly gather my thoughts.

"All right." I got up. "See you ladies later," I murmured, looking at Amber and Trista. They both looked like they were going to burst from curiosity. The other students in the coffee shop watched our exchange and stared at the unfolding drama we were causing before their eyes.

Once outside, he walked towards his black Escalade and opened the door for me. As I sat, the familiar scent of Carter permeated my senses. His fragrant essence made me nostalgic, amongst other things. I tried to calm my nerves, but it was pointless; I was extremely anxious, on edge.

Suck it up, Emma.

When the other car door opened, he slid inside and locked all the doors. The engine was running with no music playing and the silence was deafening.

"I thought you wanted to talk. So, _talk,"_ I commanded, aggravated at his silent state.

His large hand ran through his disheveled hair making him look even sexier.

GAWD!

My blue eyes met his dark fathomless depths. Without breaking eye contact he spoke with evident strain and torment, "I really want you back, Emma."

_Steady, my shattered heart._

"We've been here before. Yesterday, in fact, if you don't recall."

"I know. I was an idiot. I haven't slept because every time I shut my eyes, you're all I see. When news broke about you and Bass spending the night together, I couldn't take it, Em. This is fucking killing me. You're _killing_ me and I'm going insane. I can't think straight!"

Tempting... how fucking tempting...

I leaned back against the leather headrest and contemplated what to do. Could I really be with someone who didn't love me? It was obvious that the more time I spent with him, the more intense my feelings for him got. At the end of the day, going back to him wouldn't solve anything, not really. I would have him physically, but I'd never have his heart, his love. Knowing how I was, I would not be happy with that nor would I be content with a half-ass kind of commitment. If I stayed with him, when the inevitable end came, I would be sorely hurt and I would regret it sooner or later.

"I can't do that."

"Why the hell not? You and I were great together, Em. We were... and you know it!" He sighed heavily and stared at the car ceiling. "Are you guys dating now or something?" he challenged, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as his eyes moved to mine, searching for the truth.

_Or something..._ that's what Bass and I are... the connection was there. I felt it, Bass felt it, but the timing was all wrong.

"No. It's not like that. The gossip you hear is just, well, gossip." That was the truth.

"Why are you doing this now, Carter? Is this about your pride and ego? Because I honestly don't buy the shit you're telling me. We both know that you've had some crazy wild rides around town. Sex with me isn't exceptional. You've done more questionable sexual exhibitions with other women. So, what the hell is going on?"

"Un _fucking_ believable! I fucking miss you! That's what's going on. It's the entire truth!" he barked out in frustration.

_He missed me?_ That was a first. All he ever said was, 'I need you' and the other infamous line, 'I want you.'

"Don't shut me down without some thought, Em. Just promise you'll think it over before you give me an answer? I'd rather take that than your immediate rejection."

_Astounding_ , I thought. Had the world tilted on its axis or something? Had aliens abducted Carter Mason's brain? There had to be some bizarre answer to this. This was so unlike him; he was the most insensitive, callous, demanding, detached jerk that I had ever met.

"Emma?" his voice pleaded.

His tone was melting my purpose; my sole objective of staying away from him. Fuck love! "I'll think about it. No promises though, just so we're clear," I clarified with total nonchalance.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me." I barely nodded because my mind was going through a battle of sorts.

"It's past one already; want to grab something to eat? Or better yet, why don't I take you out tonight? I haven't taken you out on a date for a while," Carter suggested, hopeful.

_Yeah, amongst the other deficiencies you have,_ I wanted to add, but couldn't muster the energy for another lengthy argument. When was the last time he took me out properly? I couldn't even remember.

"I'm fine. Do you think you could just drop me off at my dorm?" I didn't think I could muster enough energy to endure a meal with him.

"Yeah, of course."

When he got into traffic, he turned to me. "It's our second to last game of the season against UCLA. Will you come and wear my jersey?"

How about not? I'm not going to be your jersey girl, buddy! "I can't. I have things to do." Carter just nodded.

Student housing was pretty close to the café so the ride back was quick. I didn't waste a moment's time getting out of his SUV. "Thanks. I'll see you around," I muttered before slamming his door shut, not giving him a chance to respond.

# Chapter 10

"I'm intimidated by the fear of being average."

~Taylor Swift

With another grunt of frustration, I lightly hit my forehead on my closet door a few more times before I heard Lindsey clear her throat. "Oh honey, that's not how you say a prayer. You should try the floor; it clears your mind like no other." Smartass!

I glared at my smirking friend. "How does one dress amongst Hollywood folks?" Lindsey barked out a shrieking laugh and I gave her a death stare.

"This weird upheaval is for _tonight's outfit?_ " She looked at me, her head askew. I threw a discarded shirt at her and she laughed even harder.

She was certainly not helping the situation.

"I was fine about it until Bass texted me that it was going to be held at Martin Lombardo's home." That statement made her laughing rampage halt. Her mouth hung ajar.

"No shit, and you don't have an outfit?!" she said, purely horrified. Now it was her turn to freak the fuck out.

"Now's not the time to give me a lecture, Linds. I have an hour before Bass gets here!" I gave her a quick retort, my eyes filled with pure dread.

Martin Lombardo was a producer and director. Most of his films were Oscar-worthy and he had won a crap load of them. He was an icon, a legend. I was impressed that Bass was going to make a film with him. However, that amazement turned into trepidation when Bass mentioned I was meeting the director himself tonight.

"Give me a second to run through my closet. Go get yourself something to drink. You look like you need it." She was about to leave, but she stopped mid-stride. "You know what? I'll bring you a bottle of tequila. You just wait and sit here!" Linds departed my scattered room as my phone beeped.

Bass Cole: _Am leaving the house. Be seeing you very soon!_

I smiled. Why did I grin like a silly idiot every time I saw his name? _Oh gosh_ , he was starting to worm his way inside, way too quickly for my liking, much to my dismay.

Linds was back with what looked like ten outfits and a bottle of tequila which she threw to me. I caught the bottle before it landed on the bed.

"Okay, now strip!" she commanded like a lieutenant.

She was browsing through her chosen outfits while I stripped my clothes off, leaving my bra and underwear on. Thank God Linds and I were about the same size.

"How about this one?" She held out a flashy red skin-tight, silk dress. It was gorgeous, but the narrow top would make my breasts look squashed. Not the kind of attention or 'wow factor' I was looking for tonight.

I shook my head. "Too vulgar."

" All right... How about this one?" She held out a simple A-line dress.

"That's too plain Jane, doll," I said and she scampered to hold out a few more and I declined them all.

She was getting annoyed, I could tell. I didn't want to be a pain in the ass, but none of them really appealed to me.

" _That!_ I want to try _that_ one on!" I ran to her and grabbed the dress from her hand.

"Finally! You're such a pain, Princess Emma!" Lindsey rolled her eyes and helped me with the dress.

"I love you more, baby!" I kissed her cheek to which she replied, 'yeah, yeah' with a cute pout.

The dress was simple, elegant and it was sexy. It was a body-hugging, nude lace, short dress with short sleeves. It was _perfect!_ I thought as I studied my reflection. I loved that it gave me a good amount of cleavage, but not too much.

"Okay, okay. Let's get your make-up started. Do you want to go for a smoky sex-bomb, absolute goddess, or delicate ethereal look?" Lindsey asked as I sat and browsed through the make-up selection before me.

"Absolute goddess, definitely!"

After twenty minutes of priming and brushing, she was done. She used a lot of gold and bronze creamy hues. It made my eyes look divine and quite stunning. My cheeks were bronzed and highlighted to perfection. She teased my hair and put some mousse and other hair styling products in it, making it look playful and sexy.

I went back to my closet and took out my three and a half inch, rose-gold metallic pumps and slid them on. "How do I look?" I asked as I moved sideways to give her a good view.

"You look, like, scorching hot, doll! Bass will fall at your feet and worship you until he's out of breath!" How she exaggerated, but I basked in it all the same!

"That's pushing our luck, don't you think?" My phone started ringing and I didn't even need to check it to know who it was. Bass was calling me to let me know that he was right outside.

"Shit, I haven't even gathered my purse and stuff!" I freaked, scouring my room for the needed items.

"Let me go downstairs and get him." Linds was halfway out the door already and didn't even wait for me to respond.

Thank God for my awesome friend!

Once I got everything in my tiny clutch purse, I heard Bass and Lindsey enter the apartment. I gave myself another once over just to make sure my eyeliner wasn't smudged or my mascara had flaked. Nope, I was all set!

I was a nervous wreck when I strode out of my bedroom and into the living room. Bass, looking totally delicious dressed in all black was talking to Lindsey when I entered the room and he did a double take when he saw me. His azure eyes glittered. My heart sped up at his slow, heated, admiring gaze.

"Hey, Bass! Ready to go?" I asked as the apartment door suddenly swung open. Brody strolled in and Carter was behind him, the dynamic duo. Fucking shit, what luck!

" _What are you two doing here?_ " Lindsey asked in annoyance.

Brody saw me and his gaze landed on Bass. "We, uh, thought you guys would like to go and get something to eat." Poor Brody looked perplexed and Carter looked like he was about to blow-up any minute now. I could seriously hear him grinding his teeth together.

_Calm it down, caveman!_ I wanted to yell at him.

"Didn't you guys have soccer practice?" Lindsey asked again, eyeing both men in question.

"It was cancelled, Linds," Carter's deadly voice noted.

No one bothered with introductions because the atmosphere in the apartment was so strained and tense. Bass wrapped an arm around my waist, a tad possessively. "Let's go," he said. Carter simply growled like a raging bear. His fists were clenching and unclenching at his sides. I could feel Carter's hatred. I felt bad and wanted to comfort him, but I immediately scolded myself to snap out of it. As much as I loved him, it wasn't enough. Being with him wasn't enough anymore. _I wanted what he couldn't give me,_ I reminded myself.

"Let's go," Bass urged again and I nodded in agreement.

Turning towards Lindsey, I spoke, "Linds, thanks for the help and everything. I'll call you later." I gave her a quick hug before Bass and I exited the place.

Brody was silent and observant. Carter was brooding with contempt. As much as it bothered me that he was pissed off as hell, there was nothing I could do about it. To be honest, I was actually surprised that Carter held himself back. I expected him to go ape-shit about me going out with Bass.

I tried to push the thoughts away as Bass led me towards his parked car.

Seated and buckled, Bass turned to me before he started the engine. "That was your ex, wasn't it?" Always forward, wasn't he?

"Sorry, I didn't know they were coming over. I feel really bad..." What happened at our place was something I hadn't anticipated. I was not prepared for it.

Bass just shrugged. "No worries. I would've acted the same way if I saw my ex—who I'm still hung up on—looking so sinfully beautiful." He cocked his head and gave me a breathtaking smile. A smile that made me forget about Carter—even if it was for only a moment.

_He thinks I'm sinfully beautiful? Gah, melt me even further, why don't you?_

Bass gave my left thigh a quick, tight squeeze then started the engine and joined the traffic. Even though he took his hand away from my thigh, I could still feel it on me. Butterflies fluttered about in my stomach.

During the ride, his cell phone rang like it was possessed. It was nonstop! His agent, his publicist, his friends, the list went on and on. Everyone seemed to want a piece of him and he complied with patience.

When my phone vibrated, I fished it out of my purse, a little relieved for something to do.

Carter Mason: _You just broke me apart, Em. It took all my strength not to yank you away from him and keep you for myself. But what good would that do? You don't want me. I guess I have to accept that, huh? I get it. The message is loud and clear. I'm not going to wait for you anymore. I guess good things always slip away. You were special to me, Emma._

I was special to him? What? _Since when?_ Was he just trying to say something so that I would comeback as his exclusive bootie call? So. Not. Cool.

I was lost in my own thoughts when Bass spoke again. "There. I turned the damn thing off. My phone's not going to kill our enjoyment tonight," he declared.

"You don't have to do that for my benefit. What if you miss an important call?" I looked at him.

He grabbed my hand and held it. The gesture was sweet and I indulged in his warmth. "What could be more important than my time with you?" He cocked his head back in question, decided and sure of himself.

_A whole lot of shit_ , I wanted to add, but I didn't want to ruin the mood. "If you're sure..." I trailed off.

"Never been so sure of anything in my life," Bass exclaimed, letting his words hang in the air.

We both knew he wasn't talking about his phone.

I remained silent not knowing what to say. For I did not know how to respond to a man who was so handsome and rather determined to have a piece of me. A piece that had already been taken by another man.

# Chapter 11

"There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me."

~Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Here we are."

_Here_ was a palatial home in Holmby Hills. Bass turned off the engine and got out of the car as the attendant opened the door for me. I graciously thanked him.

"Good evening, Mr. Cole. I'm Steven, the attendant for tonight," a uniformed man introduced himself. Bass greeted him and handed his keys to him.

My eyes scanned the estate and found that there were five uniformed men; three of them were the valet attendants and two of them were dressed in dark clothing who—I'm assuming—were there for security because they looked way too serious.

The Italian Renaissance-esque garden had parterres that were created in artistically perfect geometric shapes. They were laid out in symmetrical patterns and adorned with fountains, Romanesque statues–angels, naked men and women–and other exotic plants and bushes. There was even a labyrinth. The outdoor pathway that led to the main door was lined with plum crystal vases on both sides with rose scented candles in them.

I swallowed. If I thought I was nervous before, I was a double wreck now. Martin Lombardo was an icon—a legend. What the hell was I doing here amongst these people?

"Don't be nervous; my godfather will love you." Bass's right hand nestled on the base of my spine as he ushered me towards the daunting palatial home.

" _Your godfather?_ I thought we were going to Martin Lombardo's house?"

"The one and very same." He chuckled as he guided me towards the massive home.

"You're _godfathe_ r is _The_ Martin Lombardo?" _DUH, Emma! One plus one equals two, right?_

He stopped us and turned to me. "Listen, there's nothing to be anxious about. I'm with you; you're going to be fine, okay?" he gently reassured me as he softly pecked me on the cheek. Bass stilled as he inhaled my scent, breathing me in.

My world stopped spinning.

He moved closer, held my hips and enveloped me into his large muscular body and my body shook against his. The sexual charge was loaded with violent acuteness as his lips brushed against my ear. He held my palm against his heart. It was beating frantically, wildly thumping in his chest. "Do you feel what you do to me? Being _this_ close to you affects me this much. There is no greater explanation but to show you how electrifying you make me feel."

"But we only met Saturday..." I was simply dumb-founded.

"Precisely."Precisely what, exactly? That _this_ was madness? That it didn't make sense at all?

Whatever this was with Bass, it was definitely moving way too fast for me. I knew I wasn't ready to be with someone else. I couldn't be with Bass knowing that Carter still held my heart. He was a great guy and he deserved a woman who could give him her all. That woman wasn't me, but at the same time, a teeny tiny part of me wished I was.

"Let's get you inside and enjoy the rest of the evening. Hopefully, with you in my arms. So, how about it Emma?" Bass winked at me, giving me his to-die-for smile.

I blushed at his innuendo. "Well, if you put it like that. Why waste time?" I quipped back at his wicked, grinning face. He was way too gorgeous for his own good.

_What does a man this good looking want from me?_

As it turned out, there was no need for my anxiety. Martin was a charming man and his wife, Miranda, was a lovely, stunning woman. Their home was absolutely gorgeous and from what I could see, everything looked expensive or like a priceless artifact. Needless to say, I didn't touch a thing.

There were ten of us, including Martin and his wife. Some of the actors couldn't make it because they were out on location, filming elsewhere. The main cast was there, except for the elusive Samantha Knowles, the lead actress.

I learned, during the five course dinner, that the movie was going to be filmed on some privately owned island in Greece, as Bass mentioned before. It was a story of a family who lost their father from the 9/11 Attacks. The mother and son leave the big city and move to Greece to start anew. The son—Bass—still recovering from the loss of his father, turns to alcohol and drugs to cope with his pain and loss. The son meets a woman who turns his world upside down. He falls in love, but in the end, finds out that she is married to another man.

It was actually an interesting plot, but I didn't get to hear the rest of the story, told by Ross Maitland—the mother in the movie—because Martin and his wife moved us to the game room.

Before we entered the red and black themed room, Bass pulled me aside and pushed me to a room that was dark and cozy. It was obvious how familiar he was with his godfather's house.

I was a little thrilled that he wanted some alone time. All night, I felt his gaze on me. Randomly, he would find a way to touch me; a brush of my hair, a squeeze of my hand, a massage on the back of my neck or one of his cute, toe-curling whispers. He managed to make me feel connected to him.

"Having fun, _my_ darling?" _I'm his darling now?_

"Actually, I am. Thank you for inviting me." I bit my lip as his closeness made my breathing more pronounced.

"Did you know that you have this glow about you when you drink? Your cheeks get all flushed and your eyes sparkle luminously. It's very enchanting..." His voice trailed off as his nose found my neck, breathing me in like I had the most beautiful scent.

Dear God, that was intoxicating... beautiful... excruciating... My thoughts were wiped from my mind when I felt his hot kiss sear my skin; soft, gentle and burning, making me shiver in anticipation. How did he taste? I wanted to feel his kiss...

I gripped his shoulder as he pushed me against the wall. His arousal was hard against my hips. "Emma, Emma, Emma," he whispered against my heated, sensitive skin, "what are you doing to me?"

Good question because I had no fucking clue.

"Bass? Emma? Are you two lovers ready to join us?" Martin's voice called out.

"Get your nosy self back inside, Martin!" Bass's playful tone made me laugh.

"He better not think we're doing something bad here," I chided. It was the last thing I needed tonight.

"The things I want to do to you are way past that. _Bad_ is putting it mildly. I want to take you up against this wall, come inside you and walk back to the rest of the party with you marked by me. I want to smile at you from across the room while I talk to someone, knowing full well that I unloaded my seed inside you. I want you to feel it drip from your mound all through the night, reminding you that you are mine and _only mine._"

HOLY.

MOTHER.

He was one graphic man.

He gently pushed against me as he studied my expression. "You like me. You're even attracted to me," his finger pointed at my heart, "but this is taken. As much as I want to take you and your exquisite body, I don't think I could bear it if you were imagining another man buried inside you. Even if the only thing I can think of lately is... _you_. There is no other woman in my mind, no one else but you, Emma." I was incoherent and voiceless as I stared back at his azure eyes, packed with emotions far too intense for me.

"Bass, I do like you... but what you're asking of me... it's just too much—"

"I know," Bass cut me off. "That's why I'm not doing much about it."

_How could he feel this much already?_ I thought as we strolled back towards the game room to join the rest of the party.

I was sipping my espresso and was about to take a bite of a mini Napoleon when someone directed their attention to me.

"Do you act, Emma?" Martin Lombardo asked as he twirled his amber colored drink around his glass.

Flushed, I placed the small Napoleon back on my dessert plate. "I was in drama class back in high school. It was nothing big or anything, a small play here and there." Martin's dark eyes perked up.

"Small play? Come on, show us some of your craft!" he avidly suggested as the others joined along, encouraging me.

_My craft?_ Was he serious? Everyone here, except for his wife and I, were actors. I'd rather get hit by an eighteen wheeler than perform my mediocre high school acting skills in front of all those professionals.

"Bass, help me out here!" I hissed at his smiling face. Sigh.

"Martin, stop putting my darling on the spot. I promised to give her a good time."

"We are having a good time, aren't we all?" he asked everyone. Amused, he asked again, "Why don't you read lines together? See how it goes? Come on, run along, kids!"

Apparently, Bass conceded and he got up and held out his hand. "What do you say, baby? Let's give these folks a show they'll never forget!"

_Ah, shit_ , I thought as I let myself be pulled up by his strong arms.

Martin got up and handed us each a paper. Bass was to be Logan—the son—and I, Angela—the married woman. My eyes skimmed through the lines as I heard Bass clear his throat.

"Ready for me, baby?" Ha!

"As ready as I'll ever be!"

David Shilling got up and jovially said, "Three, two, one and ACTION!"

**Logan:** _You're married?_ _How could you keep this from me?_ He growled, clearly pissed off; his emotions rolling off of him.

**Angela:** _I_ — _I intended to, I swear, but there was never a good time. You were persistent and wouldn't let me think for a second. It was too hard to resist you. I don't have the power to say no to you, Logan._ My voice shook as I looked at the man I loved. I went closer to him—felt his warmth—this man who arrested my soul and my very being.

**Logan:** _But you should have! You're fucking married! You've had plenty of time to say it. You could've said it when I was fucking you! You could've said it any fucking time, but you chose not to!_ He cussed as he paced back and forth, distraught.

**Logan _:_** _I don't believe this. The woman I fell for is married to someone else. How could you do this to me? To us? You've betrayed me, Angela!_ He stopped pacing and yelled at me. His eyes pained, but full of love. For me and only me.

**Angela _:_** _You love me?_ I whispered as my heart soared, lifting me higher and higher.

**Logan:** _I have fucking loved you all this time. Since the first time you smiled at me, Angela. How could you not see that?_

**Angela:** _Maybe I was afraid to look because your love would complicate things. God, I've been so stupid, Logan. I love you, too, but I don't know how this will work out. My husband will kill me if he finds out that I've cheated on him._ Logan moved closer and he held me in his arms.

**Logan:** _He doesn't matter as long as we have each other. I would kill for you. I would die for you, Angela. That's how much I love you._

"And cut!" David Shilling called out.

Everyone applauded, much to my relief! I just smiled at Bass. He embodied the role quite well. _Well, duh?_ He was an actor—an Oscar winner!

"That was amazing, Em!" Bass beamed at me and gave me a huge hug, picking me up and twirling me around.

"Thank you." I shyly looked at him and his beaming smile. For a moment, we held each other's gaze, something passed between us, but it was interrupted by everyone who wanted to chitchat.

"Wow, Miss Emma Anderson! I am impressed," Ross Maitland gushed. The older woman was an acclaimed actress, one of the highest paid in the industry, yet she was gushing at my mediocre acting and seemed to mean it, too.

I warmed at her sentiment. "Thank you. That's very sweet of you to say."

"You did a splendid job, Emma!" Martin expressed as he double-tapped my shoulder. I murmured my delighted thanks. "You both did quite superbly well..." I heard Martin trail off as I was taken by David Shilling into another conversation.

After an hour of talking and drinking, Bass finally sat next to me. He had been busy with Martin for the last hour; I guessed talking about the movie and the trip to Greece.

"Hanging in there?" Bass whispered in my ear making my entire body shiver.

"Of course, everything okay?"

"There seems to be a problem with Samantha Knowles. Martin just got a call, I'm not sure yet what is going on. Anyway, everything seems to be winding down for the evening, want to head out soon?"

"I thought you'd never ask." As fun as it was to be surrounded by these lovely people, I just wanted to chill and relax with Bass.

# Chapter 12

"Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can't hold back."

~Unknown Author

I told you tonight would be entertaining," Bass said as he maneuvered the car into traffic.

It was an epic night!

"It was and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Thank you."

"Do you have class tomorrow?" Bass quickly glanced at me as he shifted gears. He looked totally hot. He _was_ hot!

_What did he ask me again?_ Class tomorrow... Wednesday...

"Yeah, I have one at two in the afternoon. Why do you ask?"

"I was hoping you would spend the night with me again. Nothing crazy or anything, I just liked how our last date went and frankly, I want you with me." Direct. Forward. I liked that.

"Sure, what do you have in mind?" Another memorable night with him, why the hell not?

"I was thinking along the lines of movies and such. Are you game?"

"Definitely game," I responded as my eyes studied the man beside me.

How was I going to fight this drawing, pulling power that this attraction had over me? Sure, he kept refusing to kiss me, but if I turned on the heat and advanced on him, would he still refuse? I better not put myself in that position because what the hell would I do once Bass demanded things that I wasn't able to fully comply with?

_Yeah, exactly. You better behave and keep those lecherous thoughts at bay._

We were in his fifteen seat movie theatre, looking through his movies.

"What do you feel like watching?" he asked as he scrolled through the menu. "How about _Tristan and Isolde_? Have you seen the film?"

"Nope, but have you seen it?" I looked back at him as I took off my pumps and sat back on the luxurious seat.

"I've wanted to. So, I guess we'll watch this one. Do you need something comfortable to wear?" he asked as he eyed my clothing. "You look hot, but I'd rather you wear something that doesn't push my imagination into overdrive."

"Oh, so you find me HOT then?" I smiled, flirting.

He groaned and got up. "That's it! Let's get you changed and out of that sexy dress you're in." Bass offered me his hand.

I laughed at his obvious discomfort. "I don't have any clothes to change _into._ Well, unless you want me to walk around naked."

"YOU. ARE. A. TEASE," he declared and swept me off my feet.

He carried me out of the theatre and up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. _My word, he's strong,_ I thought as I hooked my arms around his neck. He gave me a smile, totally erasing any thoughts of anyone other than the very man himself.

Bass quickly took me into his dark room. He carefully placed me on his bed and the only sound was the crisp ruffle of his sheets and our shallow, harsh breathing. In the dark, his silhouette was quite alluring, but his searing eyes probed into my soul.

"Why does a person want what they can't have?" he rasped out. His sudden question bewildered the hell out of me.

"It is human nature." My response, though lame, was the truth. I knew that; I was in that position with Carter.

I sat up, trying to bring back sanity from my inconsistent thoughts of Bass. I knew I loved Carter, but I wanted to fucking kiss Bass. His lips were enticing, making me want and think things I shouldn't even be considering. I wanted to taste and feel those sexy lips, to see if they promised ecstasy because they certainly looked like it.

Bass got up and pulled a shirt and a pair of boxers from his dresser drawer. "Here, try these on. The boxers are brand new."

"Thank you," I murmured as he strode towards the bathroom and turned on the light.

"Here you go. I'll be downstairs. Call me if you need anything, okay? _Anything_." I nodded in response as I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down, my throat too constricted to utter a reply.

His dirty blond hair was all over the place and, by God, he just looked absolutely to die for! His azure eyes spoke volumes; desire and lust etched in his dilated orbs.

"Thank you, Bass," I croaked. When he left the room, I sighed with relief.

My phone wasn't with me so I couldn't make a quick call to Lindsey. I didn't know what was going on anymore; nothing made sense and I was at a loss for words.

Once I was out of my dress, I put on his white shirt and black silk boxers then I went to study my reflection. I looked flushed and totally turned on. My senses were on high alert and I felt like my body was strung out with anticipation.

_Anticipating what, exactly?_

_I have yet to find out_ , I thought wickedly, shaking my head. Hastily, I left the bathroom and sought out Bass.

While I had been changing upstairs, he was busy making popcorn and getting all sorts of snacks for us to enjoy during the movie.

"You look good in my clothes, Emma," he commented as his eyes flowed from my dainty, candy pink toes all the way up to my braless state and my flushed cheeks. "I got you a comforter and a pillow. Come sit with me." He patted the cushioned seat next to him.

"This is quite the dessert feast, especially after the meal we had at Lombardo's," I noted as my eyes roved over the food before me. There was wine, popcorn, grapes, chocolate-dipped strawberries, chocolates, chips, mini brownies and Hot Cheetos. I loved how he threw something in the mix that stood out from the rest. Last time it was the Ruffles chips, now it was Hot Cheetos.

"I take it that the Hot Cheetos are yours?" I smirked as I sat next to him, legs crisscrossed as I cuddled under a soft down comforter.

"I am more than willing to share them with you, my beautiful miss." Bass beamed as he took out a remote and with one click, the lights shut off and the large screen before us came to life.

I took a lengthy sip of my wine when he gathered me close and I rested my head on his chest. _It was definitely comfortable_ , I mused.

When the movie rolled on, I was so engrossed by the star-crossed lovers that I felt gutted along with Tristan. What fated luck! To love someone the way he loved Isolde and to watch his beloved marry someone else. What luck indeed!

By the time the movie ended, I was crying and out of sorts. I felt Bass tighten his hold on me as he lightly chuckled, his chest vibrating. "Oh, baby, you are the most adorable thing!" _I just bet._ I lightly punched him, but he kept on laughing at me. "You know, had it been another girl with me in here, they would've been busy feeling me up, trying to seduce me to get me into bed, b _ut you_ —you don't care much about me at all. You were stuck to the movie. I don't know if I should be happy or insulted with that. You seem to have a knack for not making me feel so special and it's invigorating."

I suddenly looked at Bass and wondered out loud, "Do you wonder what it would be like to kiss me? Because I am dying to know what it's like to have your lips on mine, Bass."

His jovial demeanor vanished and changed to that ever so popular smoldering look of his. And boy, it was deadly... that look alone captivated me. "I have been meaning to, _wanting_ to since the night I met you. Why do you ask, Emma? Are you ready to move on? Are you ready for me?" What a heavy loaded question... didn't he do anything in small measures?

"You know I'm _not,_ Bass, but what's wrong with kissing? It's only a kiss. I'm sure you've kissed hundreds of women without much thought. Why can't you do the same with me?" I countered.

"That's the difference, my darling Emma. A kiss with you will never be considered 'one of many' and never ordinary. I can't explain it without sounding irrational, but I can't shake this intensity that's taken hold of me. I'm fixated by you, for reasons I cannot fathom or distinguish, for that matter. It's disconcerting and demoralizing to my psyche."

My sentiments exactly.

I gathered him in my arms and hugged him because he just looked like he needed it. He was so deep in thought and so bothered as he spouted the words out. He really was beyond confused. I would have been, too, if I was freaking Bass Cole and could have any woman I wanted. And yet, here he was, fixated on me; a woman who loved another man. Didn't make sense, did it?

"This totally sucks, BC," I murmured against his chest.

"Totally... anyhow, feel like going for a night swim?" Bass asked me huskily.

"I don't have my swimsuit with me, genius!"

He gave me a devilish smile. "Who said anything about clothing?" Bass continued, his question loaded with innuendo. He then cocked his eyebrow at me.

Hmmm, swimming naked in the moonlight? Bass's hot body for all my senses to devour?

_Sounds_...perfect.

"Are you trying to get a peek at my goods, Mr. Cole?"

He opened his mouth to respond, but closed it. "You know what, that's not a great idea after all. You __ naked _and_ wet __ will seriously kill any restraint I have."

"Oo, Bass Cole, unbridled and impetuous. I am curious and rather provoked."

"You're _my_ sweet torture do you know that, Emma? Put your imagination to rest because I think we should try to sleep." He got up and made three of the seats lean backwards until it made some sort of bed.

Wow, super neat.

"So, we're sleeping here, I take it? Why not in your bed, huh?"

He jumped on our makeshift bed and gathered me in his arms. "The only time you will share my bed is when you're willing to give me what I'm after. Until then, we stay away from it."

Odd, but I understood.

"Are you always like this with women, Bass?"

"Always like _what_?"

"This _difficult._ I mean, how do you even manage to get laid if you don't want women in your bed?"

"I get women in bed just fine, Emma. The big difference is _my_ bed. I go to hotels if I need to fuck. It's cleaner that way, faster to get away."

HAH.

"Wham-bam thank you ma'am? Hm, I knew the playboy side of you was in there somewhere. For a second, I thought you were lost." I smirked.

"I love women, Emma. What can I say? I love every fucking thing about a woman. That's why I can't figure out why I'm so fixated on you. You're beautiful, don't get me wrong, but there are tons of beautiful women around me and I want to fuck them when the opportunity arises, but with you, it's not as easy. I want to fuck you, but I can't seem to even manage to kiss you. Isn't that the most absurd thing you've ever heard?"

"That _is_ kind of weird," I mumbled. "This might sound weird, but how old are you?"

"I am twenty-three. Why, how old are _you_ , Miss Emma?" His brows wiggled in question.

"I am a woman of twenty." For such a young age, he was quite accomplished.

I was honestly a tad jealous about that. I guess my indecisiveness about what I wanted to do about my future took a toll on my self-esteem. I hated how other people knew what they wanted to do when they grew up. The only thing I knew growing up was that I didn't want to be a doctor. Period. Apart from that, I was so lost and admitting it didn't make me happy at all.

Bass stroked my hair. "Hey, I didn't know my age would make you look so sad," he tried to joke. "What's wrong?"

Shrugging, I sat up, opposite of his laid-out, relaxed position—looking like a sexy Abercrombie model. "It just dawned on me how jealous I am of you. I mean, in the sense that you seem to know what you want in life. I, on the other hand, have no fucking clue what my future holds." Biting my bottom lip, I continued, "Do you think that's pathetic? I'm twenty-years-old; aren't I supposed to have had an epiphany by now or something?"

"What did you love doing when you were younger? The only thing that helped you escape your reality and feel that you'd found solace and happiness in it and through it?"

That's easy to answer. "Reading and I loved my drama classes in high school."

"So, there's your answer. Pursue a career that has to do with reading or drama. Why wait and ponder like a lost puppy?"

"It's not that easy, Bass! Not everyone has freaking connections like you do!"

He looked offended. "Hey! I know I have good connections in the industry _now_ , but that doesn't mean I didn't have to work hard for it. Do you think I didn't have to work from the ground up? I had to start somewhere and had to build up my acting credibility by taking odd jobs here and there; like getting paid minimum wage to be an extra in an Indie movie wearing a hotdog suit for twelve hours or being ridiculed for being an amateur from hotshot directors and well accomplished actors.

" _But you know what_ , Em? I took it in stride and brushed it off. As much as I hated it, I knew where it would lead me. All that hard work paid off in the long run. I didn't give up because it was what I _wanted_ to do. _Passion_ is the fire that drives us to do the things we do. The _reason_ we do the things we do. So, if your passion is reading and acting, _then there it is_. Go write or act without hesitation. Put your foot forward and give up your soul to your passion. It makes life worthwhile when you give your heart and soul to the things that are gratifying and priceless to you."

So much depth and profound meaning...

"Gee, that was something. Thank you, though; I might just do that. Write or act, I mean. I'll think it over."

"You should because life is meaningless if you live it half and half. Being whole should be your sole goal and ambition."

Half and half _, is that what I'm doing?_ Weeding through my life... half and half?

"So... you feel _whole_ then?"

"Career wise, yes, but personally, I am getting there. One can't have everything in life at the same time, but I am a patient man and I will figure it out sooner or later."

He was confident and knew what he wanted...

"For such a young man, you seem to have it figured out."

"I had to. My parents were almost never there for me so I had to figure shit out on my own, you know?"

"Oh, that must have been hard. Growing up in itself is hard, but having to figure out everything on your own must have been challenging."

Bass boyishly grinned at me. "I like that."

Dumbfounded, I asked, "Like what?"

"That you didn't say 'sorry' about my parents being absent. Most people do when I tell them." His hands pulled me down next to him.

We were lying down, face to face and I watched his azure eyes sparkle. "I really like you, Emma," he declared.

Oh, man. He was going in for the kill, yet again.

"I really like you, too, Bass. I really do, but I'm not ready for anything more."

His eyes searched mine, without blinking. "Because you're in love with the man from the apartment right?"

An _angry_ man to be precise.

"Yes," I whispered back to him.

"Why are you in love with him? What makes him special?" His gaze still probed, seeking answers.

_Fuck, what do I say to that?_

I've asked myself that before and couldn't seem to find one good reason. _Sure_ , Carter was dynamite in bed, but apart from that, what? He was sweet—from time to time—which wasn't a consistent trait. So, what then? His rock-hard body and asshole attitude? We didn't really talk much about anything in depth. For reasons I couldn't fathom, though, I did love him.

When he got hurt once during a soccer game against UCLA, he blacked-out for a good minute and I thought of never being with him again. I knew then that I loved him, much to my dismay.

There was a lot of truth about what people said about falling in love with the wrong person. Your brain might have told you it was a horrible idea, but your heart ruled everything. _It just did_ , plain and simple.

"I can't explain how or why I do, I just do. I remember that it just dawned on me one night. It's been hell ever since."

"You don't seem very happy about it," this wise man observed.

"No, I'm not. He's not an easy man."

Hell no, Carter Mason was not easy! He was a walking contradiction, for reasons about which I had no clue.

"I understand." He sighed and closed his eyes.

"Bass, let's go for a swim? I feel restless."

"Seriously? It's like three in the morning, Em." I got up and left the movie theatre.

"Last one there has a sore, hairy butt crack!" I yelled after him.

"Whoa, there!" Bass uttered as he saw me wiggle out of his boxers and hastily place them on the pool lounge.

The moon was high and the City of Angels glittered before me; thriving, alive and so full of life! It really was beautiful here, especially at night. It looked downright riveting. The huge swimming pool looked too enticing to resist. The color matched Bass's azure eyes.

What was he waiting for anyway? The known bad boy was hesitant.

"What's wrong, Bass? Admitting that you have a sore, hairy butt crack?" I teased, but he was too stunned to reply. His blue gaze stuck to my skimpy thong-clad bottom. A jolt of excitement coursed through me as Bass took me in with his eyes. It was intoxicating and it made me feel beautiful. " _Hello_ , earth to Bass Cole?" I waved both hands at him.

Bass cleared his throat. "I don't think this is a good idea, Emma."

_Yeah, right. I'm only young once and I want to live and let live._ Who cared if I had my heart broken? Who cared if Carter didn't love me? At least I was alive—alive and breathing and enjoying Bass Cole's arousing countenance. _I am grateful for life's good blessings,_ I thought mischievously.

"Why not? It's not like this is the first time you've swam naked. In fact, it was your suggestion to skinny dip, if I recall correctly." I pouted at him.

Seriously, Bass looked like the epitome of a sex god. The way he would brood when he was in deep thought or the way he held his hands on his hips when he didn't agree on something. Every single move he made just oozed of sex. Bass was potent with masculinity and I found it erotic and stimulating. According to most females, they felt this way about him, too. Furthermore, all that fame and power didn't seem to get into his head. He was quite grounded and not stuck up, surprisingly enough.

I didn't know what precisely triggered my audacious attitude, but I felt like I had some kind of clarity. Maybe it was the tiny stint of acting in Martin Lombardo's home or the talk I had with Bass or quite possibly the wine talking, but it didn't matter because I felt fan-fucking-tastic!

# Chapter 13

"Beauty is only skin deep. If you go after someone just because she's beautiful but don't have anything to talk about, it's going to get boring fast. You want to look beyond the surface and see if you can have fun or if you have anything in common with this person."

~Amanda Peet

Emma, I'm telling you again, this is not the wisest of ideas," Bass croaked out.

I merely shrugged as I pulled the hem of my shirt, lifting it upwards and off.

I turned around to face Bass. "Ready to swim?"

"Don't say I didn't warn you, Emma Anderson," Bass taunted me as he placed a bottle of vodka and his phone at the edge of the pool. I just gave him a seductive smile.

Without breaking eye contact, he took off his clothes—all of them. What was a skinny dip if one didn't take it all off?

I gasped as Bass pulled down his boxers and stepped out of them.

"Is it up to your approval, my darling?" he amorously asked me. Cocky.

I couldn't help but lick my lips and I tried to drag my eyes away from his...

He actually laughed at my embarrassment before diving into the pool. I watched him __ swim a few laps before he came up for air. I made sure to stay in the deep end, choosing distance. We were on opposite ends of the pool.

"Scared of me already?" he called out as his hands leisurely skimmed through the warm water.

"Hell no; should I be?" I asked. He was daring me to come closer, so I did.

I watch his Adam's apple bob up and down as he guzzled the bottle of Vodka. "You're not going to share that? What a greedy man you are, Bass," I teased and then settled myself right next to him, our arms touching.

"I'll share whatever you want me to share, little lady," he retorted back as he handed me the bottle of vodka, eyes zeroed in on my lips as I placed the bottle opening to them, threw my head back and took a quick gulp.

I couldn't help but shiver. "Argh!" I muttered as I placed the bottle back on the white cobbled floor, next to his phone. "Bass, are you nervous?" I leaned close to him. Wanting him to kiss me, touch me, something!

Without answering me, he went under water and swam away from me. When he came up for air, he swam towards the middle side of the pool and stared out at the city.

I couldn't help following him. He let out a soft moan when I pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He grabbed my waist and drew me into him, pressing my back against the pool wall.

Face to face, we stared at each other, both hearts on a wild stampede. With the searing power of his eyes, he caressed me—slowly, decisively and acutely.

Then, he said the sweetest thing.

"Exquisite, so lush and pure

Will you taste as sweet as I have dreamt you to be?

I'm staggered by your magnetism, your beauty and your truth—

Will I captivate you as you have done me?

Sweet Emma, your name alone, spoken from my lips gives me enough sweetness

Savored and cherished as one should be."

He buried his head in my neck and softly bit it. I moaned and threw my head back, exposing my neck to give him full access to it.

"Bass," I gasped out his name.

From the base of my throat, his hot tongue snaked out and licked my wet skin all the way to my chin. His hand found my nipple and he placed it between his thumb and finger, twisting it back and forth as he sucked on my neck and bit into it as my legs locked on his hips.

"I want... Bass... your lips... _kiss me,_ " I pleaded, breathless. MY hips grinded against him and my scantily covered, hot mound rubbed against his naked cock. He panted against my neck and I became determined with my grinding.

I felt the hazy lust-filled moment that blanketed us; leave him when we heard his phone ring. Bass cursed. Kissing my forehead, he unlatched my legs from his waist and swam towards his ringing phone. I heard him say, "This better be important, Papa."

Bass pulled himself out of the pool and walked out of earshot. I drug myself out of the pool and laid in one of the lounge chairs, awaiting his return.

"Emma?" I heard Bass call out.

"Yes?"

Strolling towards me, Bass sat on the edge of the lounger. "That was Martin. He's wondering if you're interested in replacing Samantha in the film."

I sat up. "Shut up!"

Bass shrugged and smiled. "If you say so."

My mouth hung open. "Martin _wants_ me? But I fucking suck compared to other actresses. I'm an _amateur_ , what could I possibly offer?" "Chemistry, he said we crackled with it." He reached out and stroked my calf. "Martin is known for picking out fresh faces and he has an eye for making a hit. He thinks _you and I_ will be a hit. That alone proves how much he wants you to be onboard. Will you do it, Em? Filming doesn't start until summer time anyway."

"Bass, are you crazy? _Of course, I want to do it!_ It's a fucking Martin Lombardo film. I am not dense; I recognize that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but what I'm worried about is... I don't want to disappoint any of you guys. This is major for me. I'm psyched and freaked out at the same time."

"Baby, look at me," he requested. "You're great. I'm not saying this just because I feel like I should, but you were fantastic. Didn't we just speak about you following your dreams? Well, this is it. It's the universe calling out to you and handing you this amazing opportunity. What other fantastic way to debut your acting skills other than being the lead actress in a Martin Lombardo film?"

"I don't know." I shook my head and let out a long breath. "Can you guys give me until the weekend to think it over?"

He shook his head. "Martin needs your answer by nine this morning."

# Chapter 14

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it."

~Danny Kaye

Nine in the morning?! That's like five hours from now, _more or less_!

Bass was right on one thing though, what better way to debut myself than to do _a_ Lombardo film?

However, amazing as the idea was, I couldn't help feeling frightened. What if my acting was subpar? What if they hated it? Would I be able to handle acerbic reviews and comments angled towards me by critics?

My heart was galloping. It was already heightened from making out with Bass, but _then_ it had skyrocketed to an unparalleled level. I was agitated and in dire need to speak to someone other than Bass. First, I needed to be alone to soothe my nerves then I would call Lindsey.

Yes, I would call my friend even at this ungodly hour.

I was in dire need of a 911 emergency therapy discussion.

"Do you mind if I go shower?" I asked Bass. He looked a bit confused about my question. I was sure he wasn't expecting me to say something so random, but I felt like I needed a hot shower. _Right now. PRONTO._

"Go ahead and feel free to use my bathroom upstairs. You know where everything is. There is an extra toothbrush in the second drawer on the left and there are soaps and shampoos in the shower, use whatever you need."

I hesitated a second before I leaned over and gave Bass a peck on the cheek and hastily left the pool area. I knew it was stupid to hesitate after what we were doing a few minutes ago, before we got interrupted by Martin, but I was beyond confused.

Why wouldn't Bass kiss me? It seemed like the more I pushed him to do it, the more he hesitated. Well, he could keep his kisses 'cause his licking and biting sure as hell got me hot and bothered in no time. I knew girls shouldn't compare, but I couldn't help doing it. Carter was awesome, but I felt like with Bass, it would be explosive. I had concluded this after that teeny, tiny stint in the pool? Hell yes!

_I felt it_ —in my bones and in my core. God only knew what would've happened if we hadn't gotten interrupted. I wanted to see Bass lose control. Crazy, wasn't it? I wanted the real him unleashed and unbridled. I wanted the real man behind the controlled restraints. I had a quick glimpse of it and I wanted to see more. _I thought_.

I made a quick stop at the movie theatre to fetch my belongings. It was weird that I felt right at home here. I barely knew him and yet here I was—not feeling awkward at all.

Walking upstairs in my barely clad state, my mind boggled as I went to his room on auto-pilot. Per his instructions, I found a toothbrush and immediately took care of brushing my pearly whites while I went to turn on his shower, making the water as hot as I could stand it. When I jumped in, my eyes surveyed the selection of hair care products and shower gels I had to choose from.

Amused, I scoured for his scent amongst the scented selections. After a few tries, I figured he was a Lime Basil & Mandarin kind of guy. You'd think lime and basil would be an icky combination, but nope! It was alluringly sexy and zesty at the same time. The smell was so _him_ and I contemplated inhaling the damn scented shower gel until I passed out. I'd much rather smell it on him, of course, but that was a close second.

After my quick shower, I wrapped my head with a towel and covered my body with another one.

The screen on my phone read 4:24 am. I bit my lip nervously before I hit dial. I was about to give up after a few rings, but thank heavens, the woman managed to pick up before I ended the call. "Do you need someone to bail you out? Which station?" Lindsey grumbled as she made a loud, noisy yawn.

"This is _not_ Amber calling, babe. I know you're probably half asleep, but I need to talk to you. It's a 911." After a full minute, I thought she passed out on me.

"Sorry, had to pinch myself to wake up. What's up?" Lindsey asked with another yawn. _Yeah_ , buddy, thanks for making me feel guilty for waking you up!

"Okay, well, we both know I went to Martin Lombardo's place tonight, right?"

"Who would forget about tonight after Carter's impersonation of a growling bear?" Lindsey asked amusingly.

_Right_ , Carter's growling. What the hell?

Mentally shaking my head, I continued my story, "Well, Martin insisted for Bass and me to read lines tonight and half an hour ago, he called out of the blue and offered me the lead in a movie that he's going to be filming this summer with Bass. Martin needs my answer by nine in the morning, that's in a few hours. I'm calling because I don't know what to do, Lindsey! I mean, _I want to do it_ , but I don't want to embarrass myself either. You know?"

"Hold up; Martin Lombardo offered _you_ to star in his movie _with_ Bass and you're fucking _thinking_ this over?" Lindsey asked hysterically. She started blabbering, "Okay, I get why you're hesitating, going from your high school drama classes to the big screen. I get that this is a big, BIG **** deal for you, but Emma, Martin Lombardo himself offered you the role! He must believe you're good or _good enough_ for him to even consider you. So do me a favor and stop it with this boo-hoo party you're giving yourself because you're going to be a movie star, BABY! Get that? A. MOVIE. STAR. Ahhhh! I knew you were going places with that angelic beauty of yours, Em, _but an actress?_ That's incredible!"

"It's great and all, but what if I embarrass myself _or_ my family? Do you know how much this is scaring me? I would be devastated if I became an embarrassment to everyone I know. What if I let Lombardo or Bass down?" I voiced out my fears. "I don't want to give it my all and not be good enough. I don't think I have it in me to be butchered by the rest of the country or better yet, _the rest of the world_! God, the thought alone sends me into overdrive and I might just end up in a mental hospital."

"That overactive imagination of yours will really send you into a psych ward if you keep going on like this! I don't know why your confidence lacks sometimes because you fucking ROCK, girlfriend! Besides, if you ditch this, do you want to go on forever wondering 'what if?' Think about that because I sure as hell don't want a big fucking 'what if' in my life." Lindsey, _the voice of reason_.

"Geez, a big 'what if,' huh? Well, maybe you should check out Brody Thompson then, girlfriend, because from where I'm standing, the man is a big hot 'what if' to me."

Lindsey huffed on the other end. "Whatever. I have to go back to sleep 'cause I have a stupid quiz first thing this morning. Just remember that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Emma. This is like one of those opportunities that are life changing and can undoubtedly alter your universe. This is it, Emma Anderson. It's your time to shine. I just want to tell you— _either way_ —that I'm proud of you. Okay fuck it! I will be _prouder_ if you do take the damn role, woman! Imagine all those award shows and the free goodies that come along with it. Accept the role before I smack some sense into you, comprende?"

As Winston Churchill said, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Heck yes, failure is not fatal. _Yet_ , I don't want a big 'what if' haunting me.

"All right, Lindsey Mason, you've finally gotten through to me. Now, go sleep and ace that quiz of yours. I will call you tomorrow after the meeting, okay?"

"Damn straight! Now you owe me some tacos and margaritas. Over and out."

_I so do_ , I thought with a smile. After a quick goodbye, we ended the call.

Feeling convinced and assured, I strolled towards the bedroom to get a new shirt and boxers. I chose all white this time. I mean, there was only black and white to choose from. Why didn't he wear any other color? I bet he would look gorgeous in blue, especially with those eyes of his.

I found Bass in the theatre on the makeshift bed he made earlier, lounging in a pair of white drawstring pants and nothing else. His blond hair was wet and when I got closer, I breathed in the scent of his intoxicating shower gel. Dammit, it smelled much more delicious on him.

Without thinking, I traced the ridges of his tanned, steel abs with my forefinger, feeling the smoothness of his skin that was hot on my skin. Boy, he felt wonderful in all his steely, hard muscled goodness.

Bass groaned as my finger went a little lower, an inch above the top of his pants. He immediately grabbed my hand and kissed each of my fingers as he laughed. Tingles reverberated all through me.

"As great as that feels, I can't let you go on. Tell me though, have you thought about it?" Bass inquired. He sure was eager to know.

"Well..." I teased, smiling at him.

"Yes? _No?_ Come on, Emma. You can't miss out on this opportunity! Not only will it be awesome, but imagine spending all that time with me in Greece. We can explore the islands when we aren't filming; get to know the culture and the history. You're going to love Greece, it's beautiful. I've been there once and it was marvelous! I want to see it again, _with you._

_Bass Cole, I think you've just disarmed me._ The picture he just painted was pure bliss. "How long will we be out there?"

He grabbed my hand and started to caress it. "Three months—possibly four–depending on how well it goes. I believe the privately owned island is somewhere on the Aegean Sea and is small. I think it has a population of roughly one thousand."

Three to four months with Bass. That's ninety to a hundred and twenty days with him. That's a long... _long time_... on an island... a beautiful Greek island... with a beautiful man. Hmmm, what to do?

"Well, that's quite a long time, you know?" I teased as he shifted me onto my back and positioned his super sexy body atop mine.

_Yes, yes, yes!_ my mind rejoiced.

"Say yes!" he commanded with a lopsided grin, exposing his sexy dimples. Gah!

"Um," my voice trailed off when I felt his hand slide inside my shirt and caress my side. Was it wrong of me when I 'accidentally' opened my legs a tad wider to accommodate him better?

His blue eyes became dilated as they looked into mine. "You feel like silk," he rasped out as his hand moved a little higher. I pushed my hips against his and found out how aroused he really was. Bass hissed from my bold gesture. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't be touching you this way. It's too early for you."

Are you for real dude? Come on! "Don't you think that's for me to decide?"

Bass kissed my nose and held my chin. "No. I'm not taking you while you're in love with Carter."

Well, there goes my sex drive, thank you. If that's how he felt, then there was no way we were going to have sex anytime soon. Bummer.

"I see... then I guess it would help if you didn't make me all aroused then?"

"Promise it won't happen again." He moved to the side, got the remote, turned off the lights then gathered me in his arms.

How could he just turn me down like that? He was all relaxed and here I was, uncomfortably wet and turned on. How annoying was that?

"Tell Martin 'yes' when he calls."

His strong arms pulled me tighter against his chest. "You won't regret this, Emma. This will open a lot of doors for you, just you wait and see."

I didn't doubt it. I just hoped that I could handle all of it.

"I'm going to call my agent first thing in the morning and take care of that for you. Barbara will take you on and she has a great team with her. So, go to sleep. I'll figure everything out before you wake up tomorrow morning."

Sigh, I couldn't continue brooding while he was being all nice.

"Thank you. You don't have to, really, but still, thank you for arranging it for me."

"No worries. Just don't forget to thank me when you're accepting your first statue though." Bass chuckled.

Ha!

"I'll be leaving for Canada in a week to film the third KOC movie. I really needed the good news."

He's leaving in a week? What?!!! "You never once mentioned that. How long will you be gone?" I felt hurt for some reason. He never said a word!

"Six months," he grunted and nuzzled the crook of my neck. "Saying it out loud would have made it real. I like spending time with you and I'm not ready to go, but _I have to_. I apologize for not telling you any sooner."

Shit. I guess it was a good thing we didn't have sex or anything to complicate things. He was leaving after all.

"That's your job, _your life_ , Bass. You don't have to say sorry about that." I knew how much he loved his job and I sure as hell wasn't going to interfere.

"I know; that's why I wanted you to get the role Martin offered. I think it would be the best thing for us both. You get to see if acting is something you'd want to pursue and I get to be around you every single day." _Man, he was really serious about me._ _How long would that last_ , I wondered.

"Trust me, Bass. You'll get bored seeing me every day after a week. You'll be running in the other direction afterwards." I smirked at the thought, picturing him running away from me like he did when he was trying to avoid his fans. I guessed only time would tell...

His arms squeezed me tighter as he let out a long sigh. "May you have the sweetest amongst the sweetest dreams, my dear Emma."

Sweetest dreams, indeed.

# Chapter 15

"Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It's our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit."

~Mary Lou Retton

I've read through the contract and let me just say that you've been given an excellent deal." Barbara Schwartz eyed me through her gold-rimmed glasses.

How she read through hundreds of pages in such a short time was beyond me. Barbara was at Bass's house at eight in the morning, looking like an agent straight out of that show _Entourage_. She was quick, sharp, and straight to the point. She also brought a lawyer with her named Sammy Chang, a hoity-toity stunning Asian woman. Sammy never once cracked a smile. And she was to be my lawyer? Bass assured me that she was as sharp as shark teeth. _That_ I did not doubt for a second.

"You're to be paid a million dollars and might get more if the movie does great in the box office," Sammy Chang stated.

" _One million?_ " I parroted. That's a lot of money for an amateur like me. Shit, I better not let Martin and the studio down.

"Samantha Knowles was going to be paid ten. You got half because you're new in the industry and most people like _you_ usually get half a million max. To say this deal is excellent is an understatement," Sammy said matter-of-factly.

I was new and inexperienced, so I understood. I nodded and took a big gulp of my lemonade.

"Let's go over the important details of the contract." Barbara looked at me as she opened a portfolio. "Do you have any reservations about being filmed in the nude?"

I shook my head. _I guessed not?_

Barbara gave me a curt nod. "Good, because this film is centered around the woman cheating on her husband. They want the scenes to be as erotic as they can get. After all, the title of the movie is _Blasphemous_ so nudity is to be expected.

I agreed, "Of course."

Barbara paused for a second while she stared at me. Blinking a few times, she shot out, "Moving on; your hair needs to be longer _so no haircuts_ , just an itsy bitsy trim. There's a mandatory health screening to make sure you're not going to drop dead once filming starts. Three months before the shoot, you have to see a fitness trainer and a yoga instructor twice a week. The yoga will make you more limber for the sex scenes. Speaking of which, there'll be five sex scenes and you will be baring all your naked glory. So you see why they indicated it in bold lettering that you see a personal trainer? They don't want any love handles. That would kill the film. If you still have _any_ , we can do liposuction, but from what I can see with your figure, you're in good shape. I'd rather be safe than sorry, though.

"You will also be assigned an acting coach during this time—if you so wish it. I advise that you also hire a dietician for your daily intake of calories. You are obligated to do all the promotional tours—radio, magazine and television interviews. If you don't comply with that, you will get sued. Do you have any aversion to waxing all the hair on your groin?" Barbara inquired in such a serious tone; you'd think we were plotting to invade Iraq.

I wanted to laugh but instead, I shook my head. "No."

"Good. Since you're _new_ , I advise that you comply with each and every demand they make and do everything they ask of you. You can make your own demands later on when you've made it in the industry. Do you have any questions, Ms. Anderson?"

A whole fucking lot! _Five_ —FIVE SEX SCENES! How did that escape Bass's notice? Instead I said, "I think you've covered all the bases. Where do I sign?" I grabbed Barbara's expensive gold pen. By the looks and feel of it, the pen was probably made of real freaking gold.

After what seemed like an endless amount of paperwork, we were finally done. We had been at it for more than an hour and I was ready to sign on the dotted line to get it over with.

"I will also need you to sign one more contract that states I will be your agent and so forth. I'll call you later on next week."

"Yes, that would be good," I responded as both women got up.

"I would stay longer to go over any questions you may have, but I have a plane to catch. I need to save one of my clients from joining a cult in Ohio. I don't normally accept _just_ anyone, but you were recommended by Bass so it was already a done deal." No smiles here. What was wrong with these women? They were both so automated and stuck-up. Were they acting like this because I was no one special? More than likely.

"Thank you for that." _Sort of_.

Barbara Schwartz nodded as we shook hands. "Welcome to Hollywood." With that, they both strutted out of the house and off to Ohio.

I sat back down and stared at the horizon. _I just signed! I WAS IN!_ All sorts of emotions washed over me. I hoped that I would rock this Angela character because if I _didn't,_ I didn't think I would ever be able to forgive myself.

Sighing, I got up and looked for Bass.

"Hey!" Finally, I found him in the kitchen making a protein shake.

"Hey, yourself! Did it go well? I didn't want to interrupt—that's why I left you alone out there."

I didn't know if it was the time to bring up the sex scenes or not. Maybe I was overreacting; maybe if I weren't an amateur this would be a piece of cake. The thought of being in the scenes with Bass made my temperature rise.

"It was good. Lots of paperwork." And lingering thoughts of your hot bod on mine and all sorts of illicit ideas... I didn't know if I'd be able to handle it.

Bass gave me a dimpled smile. Too hot... _he was too hot_. "Martin just called to congratulate you, but you were still out on the patio with the ladies. He'd like to meet us for lunch to celebrate. Do you feel like going out?"

"I'd love to, but I have to get back to school. I don't want to miss class. Can I get a rain check for next week?" Not really, but I wanted to be alone for now. This was a massive deal to me. I needed to make a quick visit to see my parents to tell them about this.

"Sure, that'd be great! Let me know when you want to leave. I'm ready whenever you are," Bass said as he kissed my forehead.

Gawd! I wanted to hang on to him for another second, but he moved away.

After class, Lindsey and I agreed to meet up at the coffee shop because she was in between classes and couldn't wait to get back to our place before I spilled all the details. So, I spilled. Everything.

"One mil? And you have Bass Cole hot on your heels? I hate you!" Lindsey came over and rained me with smacking kisses. "You're going to kill that role; you know that, right?"

I sure hoped so. "I will try _or_ die trying," I said sheepishly. Lindsey's overexcited bubble was contagious.

"There's a party tonight at Carter's house. I think we should go and celebrate.

"Um, have you forgotten that your brother despises me?"

"Pft. Yeah, right! He doesn't despise you, _he wants you_ all to himself. It's a big party tonight, so you might not even run into him." That was plausible.

I had planned to drive back to Ojai and see my parents... but... I guessed I could ditch that idea and do it later this weekend.

"All right, but don't tell anyone, okay? Let's just keep it between us for now. I'm not ready to be bombarded with questions and gossip."

Lindsey pinched my cheek. "Your secret is safe with me. Party starts at eleven. We should grab some dinner somewhere fancy-shmancy tonight. I'll be back by six and we'll leave at seven. Ta-ta!"

After Lindsey left, I stayed and finished my coffee. I couldn't help -feeling great! I supposed Bass was right. It was my time to shine.

"The girls aren't joining us?" I asked Lindsey as she studied the menu with intensity.

"We'll meet up with them later on. Tonight's just our date night. We have so much to catch up on and I doubt you'd appreciate me grilling you about your new movie role with Cece around. Ah, can't wait to see her reaction when she learns about it!" She gave me an evil smile and went back to studying the menu some more.

"What's the story between you and Cece, anyway?" I asked after the waiter took our orders.

"Would you be shocked if I told you that Cece and I used to be best friends, but ended our tight knit friendship during freshmen year?" I choked on the little piece of buttered bread I just swallowed.

With a big hefty gulp of water, I asked flabbergasted, "You and Cece were BFFs? That's like mixing oil and water. I don't believe you!"

She merely shrugged and looked thoughtful for a moment. "We were—until she slept with the guy I was so in love with."

Ouch. What a back-stabbing bitch!

"That does sound like good ol' Cece to me."

"Yeah, she was always like that, but I didn't think for a second she would go for mine. I mean, she knew I loved him for so long, you know? And she was my best friend. When rumors flew that they hooked up, I was heartbroken. Not only did I lose my best friend, but I lost my first love, too—unrequited love—but still, it counted to me."

How stupid could that guy be? He chose Cece over Lindsey? Come. On. That was like choosing good quality over used goods. Gah, men and their stupidity.

"Good riddance to both of them. It's not like the guy was worth it. In fact, he was downright obnoxious."

With a strawberry margarita in hand, she smiled at me. "Precisely, that's why Brody is out of the question."

Brody sexed it up with Cece _over_ Lindsey? What a douche lord! Maybe he needed to get his eyesight checked.

"Well, color me shocked. I didn't think good boy Brody cranked his tractor towards _whore-aholic_ women." Mean of me to say, yeah, but everyone that knew Cece knew how much she got around. I was just calling it like it was.

"Enough about me, let's talk about you and your exciting life! Have you concocted a plan yet?" I looked at her confused. She smacked my hand that was on the table. "Hello? On how to get him into bed? Don't tell me you haven't wanted to? A nun would be tempted to leave her convent for a quick roll in the hay with that _fine_ man."

"What's the point? He's leaving a week from today." That thought alone sobered me up. No more Bass and his toe-curling smiles. Or his deep husky laugh. Or his smoldering eyes. Yeah, I was going to really miss him.

"Fuck. That seriously sucks! Maybe you two can figure something out, you know?" she enlightened me.

"We'll see. Let's not talk anymore about Bass or the movie—"

"Good, idea! It's already forgotten!" she interjected without letting me finish my sentence. One of the finest things I liked about Lindsey was that she just _got me_.

So, for the next two and a half hours, we discussed everything else, catching up with each other's lives and enjoying each other's company.

By the time we got to Carter's party, the alcohol in my system was working in full-swing. I was swaying my hips to the loud music before I even managed to get inside. I did have something to celebrate, after all.

"Oh, fucking shit!" Lindsey cursed as I was breaking through the crowd behind her. I stopped as soon as I heard her.

"What?" I asked, looking at her before I followed where her eyes strayed.

_Oh fucking shit_ was just about right.

It was Carter, sitting like a fucking mighty king in his own kingdom while some insipid bitch gave him a lap dance. The music of Pitbull __ thumped loudly from the speakers and the bitch was moving her ass in the air, jiggling it exaggeratingly. I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry. The whole thing was fucking unbelievable! It was, _until_ Carter saw me. While the bitch was humping and grinding herself all over him, Carter's unwavering eyes were trained on me.

"Let's go!" Lindsey spoke next to me.

I knew I needed to move, but __ for some odd reason, I wanted to watch and see how far Carter would take the scene he had going on for everyone to see. "I'm fine. You go and look for the girls. I want to see where your brother will take this nice demonstration of his."

Lindsey's jaw hung ajar. "You're insane!" she hissed. I merely shrugged. When she realized that I was serious, she left me to watch the _real_ Carter in action.

I thought the teeny, tiny skirt was enough display but _no, no_ the woman actually took off her top and skirt and was only wearing her matching fire-engine red bra and thong. She then hooked her flimsy skirt around Carter's neck as she pulled him to her breasts. The guys hooted and clapped while the bitch became deliriously excited. Disgusted, I decided to stop looking when the hooker took off her bra.

When I got outside to get air, I received a text message from Bass.

Bass: _You may be out of my sight and far from my reach... but you are certainly never out of my mind... Goodnight, my sweet Emma._

Oh, my word. I think I was hyperventilating. Why the hell didn't I meet him _before_ Carter came along? I would've jumped on Bass's bones in a heartbeat.

"Emma!" I stilled when I heard Carter yell my name. What did he want? If he was looking for a quick lay, he'd be better off with the skank inside.

Without turning around, I asked, "What do you want, Carter? If you're looking for a lap dance from me, you're shit out of luck."

"I followed you out here because I wanted to see you. How are you doing?" Carter inquired.

Was he for real? _How am I doing?_ WTF!

"I am doing fan-freaking-tastic. Now, will you leave me be?" I screeched, immediately walking towards the beach. I knew it was dark and all, and probably not a great idea to walk around alone, but I needed to get away from him. Carter was simply infuriating and I couldn't stand being so close to him.

"Why do you keep running away from me?" the dense man asked from behind me.

Sigh. Honestly? "You're an ass. You're selfish, inconsiderate, cold, infuriating, insensitive and the list goes on and on. Now, will you please go away?"

Carter hurried his stride to catch up, then stood before me, lifted my chin with his forefinger and gently kissed me. Before I had time to think, he pulled away. "If that's what will make you happy, then I'll leave you alone, but I am going to watch you from here because it's dark and I don't want a bunch of drunkards anywhere around you while you're all alone, understood?"

I nodded as I considered his suggestion. Carter kept to his promise. He did leave me alone but I could feel his searing gaze from where I sat, staring across the Pacific Ocean.

# Chapter 16

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."

~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Wake up, Emma!" Lindsey shook me. God, how many times did this woman need to wake me up during the week?

"Go pester other people, Linds," I grumbled against my pillow as I tried to shut her giddy tone out of my mind. _Sleep.... please come back to me,_ I pleaded.

"You're such a grump! I need a favor and you have no choice but to say YES," Lindsey Mason demanded in her own cute way.

I ducked under my pillow and yelled, my voice muffled, "You want to borrow my car, go ahead. You need to borrow something from my closet, I don't care. Honestly, do whatever you like as long as you leave me alone so I can sleep!"

"Sorry, doll face, but my favor will take up your entire weekend. We're going to Lake Tahoe."

"Lindsey! Look at me!" I sat up with my eyes barely cracked open as I pointed at my sleepy face. "Do I look like I want to go on a road trip? _No?_ Good because I don't want to go. Lake Tahoe is like an eight-hour drive. Nothing you could say or __ do would make me change my mind—well, unless it's a 'do or die' situation, then I just might reconsider." I flopped back on the bed and sighed as I closed my eyes.

Finally! Sleep! I rejoiced, but it was short-lived.

"I've been sleeping with Cooper for the last six months, but I accidentally slept with Brody last night. And all of us are all going to Lake Tahoe, as we've been planning for, like, the last three months. I need your help _like_ so badly!" she rambled.

_Like_ , she really loved using that word— _wait!_ Cooper Haze and Brody Thompson? Whoa! Talk about double hotness overkill!

"Like, holy shit, Lindsey Mason! What? _What!!!_ Cooper? Cooper is like even worse than your own brother! Does Carter know? He's going to murder him. And my God! You slept with Brody? What the hell are you going to do now?" My mind ran through a few scenarios, none of them were any good.

"I know! This is something I wasn't expecting, Em. I mean, Cooper was just a good lay, but lately he's been wanting to make it official. He's even willing to talk to Carter about it. I think that happened because Brody spoke to Carter about wanting to date me and Carter gave Brody his seal of approval. Now Cooper is, like, jealous about it."

What a holy mess.

"Wow—just wow. I knew there was some inner prowess in there, but I wasn't prepared for Lady Godiva. Wow, I am in a state of shock, babe." I really was shocked beyond comprehension. Lindsey Mason and Cooper Haze? Hold up. "Hey, weren't you the one who said Cooper Haze had the 'triple ew' factor?" She rolled her eyes and smacked me with a pillow.

"God, Emma! Come on, let's admit that Cooper _is_ hot. I was a little tipsy and he just looked way too delicious to refuse and from then on, it just kept going, you know?" Uh- huh. Of course it did.

"Are you in love with Cooper?" Lindsey shook her head no. That was a good sign, right? "Okay, who do you like best then?" I asked as she chewed on her nail. I lightly smacked her hand away from her teeth. I hated the sight of chewed up nails; it was a total pet peeve of mine.

"I don't know. I've always had a crush on Brody, you know. I don't even remember how old I was exactly when I realized that I loved the man. So, I guess I've always loved him. _I mean, always_ —to the point where I threw myself naked at him—but he refused me and told me I was a 'little girl.' Now that Cooper wants to see where this is all going, Brody wants to date me, but the whole Cece thing kind of kills it for me. It's really confusing, Em. I don't know what to do." Freakin' Cece!

"I guess I should say, may the best man win! Ooo, how juicy is this? Your life is officially a soap opera." Lindsey just rolled her eyes at me. If I had to guess, I bet she was feeling like she really was in a soap opera. Two hard-headed males vying for her, pulling her in all sorts of directions. How hot and frustrating would that be to watch? Uh... _sort of sounds like your life, too_ , _right_? Shit. I forgot for a second. Ha!

"You're going with me, right?" Lindsey pouted, looking at me all doe eyed, pleading and begging for me to say yes.

Damn. Those eyes were quite convincing.

"Sure, what are friends for?" I mumbled.

A very long weekend with Carter, how taxing could that be on my sanity?

"All set, doll?" Amber asked as she took a peek in my room.

"Almost, give me a sec," I called without looking back to Amber as I folded my clothes and placed them in my small getaway bag.

She threw something and it landed on my bed. "Bass has called, like, twice now. Go pick it up. We'll be waiting downstairs when you're ready. Don't be long though, and _oh_ , tell him I said hi." Amber winked and left me to get the call.

Picking it up, I spoke, "Hello?"

"All packed and ready?" Bass asked.

I smiled at the sound of his voice. "Yes, you could say that. Are you all packed for Vancouver?" I couldn't believe he'd be gone for six months. I was saddened knowing I wouldn't be able to see him for such a long time.

"I'm not leaving until Wednesday, Em. I still have a few days to pack and stuff. Anyway, I just called to say have a safe trip and I will see you before I leave for Vancouver."

"Great, I'll see you then. Be safe and have a great weekend." He would be hitting the Hollywood party circuit, no doubt. Bass got invited everywhere and he'd probably hit it a little hard this weekend before he left for Canada.

"I want to say the same, but I honestly don't want you to have _too_ much fun with your ex. Just be safe, all right? Do take care, my sweet Emma. Bye."

"Bye," I whispered, feeling a little deflated.

I knew it was crazy, I'd known him barely a week, but he seemed to have grown on me. Bass's approach to life was different and I found it invigorating. He was such a remarkable man.

I grabbed my things and headed out the door. There were about twenty people meeting us in Tahoe. I looked around for Amber, Trista and Cece to ask if I could ride with them so I didn't have to ride with Carter. They were parked behind Carter's black Escalade and I could tell that there wouldn't be any room for me. I guessed I was riding with Carter, Lindsey and her sexy boy toys.

The man himself was in the driver's seat and the seat next to him was empty. Brody, Lindsey and Cooper sat in the back—all three of them were silent and broody. _Ha. I guessed I would be sitting in the front seat then?_ Sigh.

"Sorry I took so long," I apologized as I opened the door. Carter immediately got out of the car and took my bag. "Thank you," I said kindly as he went to the back of the SUV and shoved it in the trunk.

After four hours of a completely silent ride, I knew some serious stuff was brewing in the back. Carter tried to engage Brody or Cooper to talk, but none of them were speaking. After several attempts, Carter cranked the music up to fill the silence. It was better that way, I supposed. He, himself, barely glanced at me.

Still mad, was he? Well, tough.

I could ignore him all the same. Although his nearness was almost killing me, I could pretend that he didn't bother me one bit.

When my phone vibrated, I was relieved to have something to do. It was a message from Bass. He sent me the picture of us that had been on the cover of the gossip magazines, the one where I'm looking up at him with a huge smile pasted on my face, the one I looked happy in. There was a silly caption underneath it.

Bass: _I guess someone is finally 'star- struck'?_

Ha. Sure.

Me: ****_Wishful thinking, aren't we, Mr. Bass?_

Smiling widely, I typed the message. I loved the playful side of Bass.

Bass: _Indeed, Ms. Emma. Indeed, I am... can't get your smile out of my mind. Did you cast a spell on me? For there is no other alternative reason for this raging delirium._

I bit my lip as I tried to conjure a response. Did I cast a spell on him? Ha.

Me: _No witchcraft involved. Sorry to disappoint. Indeed, it is all crafty me, the one and very same. Maybe it's been a while? Suppose you need to get laid or something?_

Yeah, I was hella fishing for information, but I couldn't help it. I was curious.

Bass: _Why, Emma? Do you want me to stop?_

Stop what? Stop him from having sex? Shit, who had he been sleeping with?

Me: _No, Bass. Your life is your own. That's solely up to you._

I searched for him the other night on Google and there hadn't been any news of him hooking up with anyone. Who had he been sleeping with? I guessed he could get laid without having it splashed online. I mean, he could easily hook-up with another pretty actress without getting caught.

My phone vibrated.

Out of nowhere, Carter snatched the phone out of my hands and shoved it in his pocket. "Give it back!" I furiously demanded of the man next to me.

"No." His lips pressed together in a straight line, clearly determined and not budging an inch.

Dickwad!

"Give Emma her phone back, Carter! Stop being such a tool!" Lindsey chimed in. Her brother was unyielding.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to sit here idly while you talk to another guy, Emma? Try to be a little sensitive here. I'm trying to drive, but I can't help being distracted when you smile stupidly at his messages. I fucking hate it!"

Okay, maybe I was being a little insensitive, but confiscating my phone was going overboard. "I apologize. That was rude of me. Can I have my phone back now?"

"No." Carter's eyes were stuck on the road, not even bothering to glance at me.

"What the fuck, Carter!" I yelled at him, but he was unmoving. What the fuck!

FML!

Oh, he was definitely going to face my wrath once we got to his uncle's cabin in Tahoe. My anger was brewing fiercely. Once we were out of the car, I was going to erupt like Mount St. Helens!

# Chapter 17

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

~Erica Jong

Finally! My butt is killing me! I hate long car rides! They're the most uncomfortable things, like, ever!" Lindsey declared as Carter finally parked right outside cabin McMansion, which was big enough to hold all twenty guests for the weekend. It was beautiful. I'd seen pictures of it before, but they didn't do it justice. I remembered Carter promising to take me here, but again, that never happened.

It was almost eight at night and the long drive was beyond exhausting. I was ready to unpack and unwind.

"Hey, Lindsey! I need to talk to you for a minute," Carter yelled out to his little sister, as she headed toward the other parked cars on the driveway.

She halted. "Sure, what's up?" Lindsey asked as Carter pulled her off to the side to talk.

"I'll get the rest of the things, Em. Go on up and relax," Cooper said. He sounded a little sad. His usual flirty self was nowhere in sight. Guess he really was fighting for Lindsey and trying to be on his best behavior. Well, I wasn't on anyone's side. I used to be on Team Brody, all the way, but that went down the drain the moment I found out he ran his tractor through Cece's rotten infested field. I was a little reserved now.

"Thanks, Coop." I stretched my body and yawned. The smells of fall were floating in the crisp autumn air. Sleep was calling me, but from the looks of things, it would be hours from now before I would get any. I followed everyone towards the house.

_When am I ever going to catch up on my much needed sleep?_ I wondered.

"Who's up for some hot tub?" Brody asked everyone.

It had been three hours since we'd arrived and everyone seemed to have the same goal—to get wasted.

At ten, I decided to call it a night when a few drunk girls—I had no clue where they had come from—took off their clothes and ran naked towards the lake. Of course, some of the guys from the soccer team followed them. _Ah, living the good life!_ I shook my head towards the screaming crowd, amused.

I scoured the party looking for Lindsey and was relieved to find her in the kitchen. "Hey! Can you tell me where my room is? Cooper took my bag to _a_ room, but I don't know where it is, unfortunately."

Lindsey stopped smiling then. "Um... I have no clue. I'm rooming with Amanda."

HUH?

"What do you mean? You dragged me here! Now, who do I have to room with?" There were like twenty random people here and I only knew a handful of them. The thought of sharing a room with a stranger seriously freaked me out. I should've just stayed home. Maybe I'd have been with Bass right now...

"You have to ask Carter and the boys. They're the ones that arranged it." I stared at my friend, not knowing what to say.

"How could you invite me and not room with me? This just doesn't make sense at all!"

"I know and I'm sorry, but it was just such a last minute thing and I had been paired with her months ago. I'm so sorry!" Just then Brody joined us with a bottle of beer in his hand.

"Want to join me in the tub, pretty ladies?" Brody grinned at us. Hmm... was he trying to score some with Linds? Well, he'd have to try harder than that.

"Actually Brody, do you think you could show Emma to her room? She doesn't know where it is."

"I will, but I need you to stay put. We need to talk," Brody spoke to Lindsey. Her smile wavered.

"Yeah, of course," Lindsey murmured. Brody looked like he meant business and he seemed to be very determined to talk to her.

"Here you are. Everyone's been looking for you." Carter strolled in the room in nothing but a pair of jeans, displaying his tanned pecs and rigid six-pack. My cheeks burned when I stared at his body a little longer than I should have. _Nice..._

Dammit!

"Oh, great, man! Emma wants to turn in. Can you show her to her room?" Brody asked.

What? _What?_ He's handing me over to Carter?

"You're ready to sleep? It's still early." Carter's dark gaze landed on me, burning holes, searing right through me.

"Yes. I want to sleep. I'm exhausted."

Carter nodded. "Okay, then. Let me show you to your room." He exited the kitchen and climbed up the wooden stairs. I followed silently behind him, not wanting to make unnecessary chitchat.

The house was humungous and I would've easily gotten lost by the time I got to the second floor. There were three wide carpeted hallways that were adorned with black and white abstract paintings. They were a striking contrast amongst the woodsy theme. I followed Carter as he turned right and made another right down a long hallway. There were two large, dark, wooden doors at the very end of it.

"Here you are, Emma." Carter opened the doors and he ushered me into a massive room with a fireplace and a big king-sized bed with a large bay-windowed lounge area that overlooked the lake. It was gorgeous! When I looked back, Carter was just standing in the middle of the room, observing me.

"Can I have my phone back?"

He pulled out my phone from his front pocket. "You mean this?"

"Yes. Can you hand it to me now?"

"No. I'll give this back to you once you set foot back in Santa Barbara. For the time being, though, you're phone free."

Incorrigible man! I just wanted to kick him in the nut-sack!

I went over to him. "What the hell is your problem, Carter? I don't get why you're acting like a petulant kid!" With another angry whine, my finger poked his hard muscled chest. "You. Are. Being. Ridiculous." I emphasized each word with my finger poking on his skin before I withdrew my finger, his hand caught it.

"You ask what my problem is?" He leaned forward, closing the gap between us. "You. You're my problem."

I swallowed. "You have to let this go, Carter."

"It's not over until I say it is." Arrogant jerk!

"Well, fuck you! We broke up already. You kicked me out of your house!"

"You wanted out. I didn't. It was my ego talking." We stared at each other. Carter gently reached out and caressed my cheek with the back of his finger. "You're beautiful, Emma. You don't know how lonely I've been without you."

Carter was lonely? What a joke! There were rumors flying that he got it on with Amanda. I wasn't stupid.

I licked my lips. Wrong move because his eyes darted there and he stared at them. "I think you should go. I want to rest."

Carter hesitantly dragged his eyes away from my lips and brought his darkened gaze to mine. "If you want to, go ahead. You can use the right cabinet to unpack, mine's on the left."

I froze.

We were _sharing_ a room? Dammit! I should've known Carter would pull something like this.

"You're sleeping on the couch. I'm not sharing a bed with you!"

"Too bad, I'm sleeping in the bed. Don't worry; I'm not going to touch you, if that's what you're worried about." Carter just shrugged and strode towards the bathroom. Within minutes, the shower came on.

Well, great, just great. I groaned. How was I going to handle sleeping in the same room with him for two nights? TWO NIGHTS! This was insane!

I strolled towards the bay windows and stared at the moonlit lake before me. Immediately, my thoughts went to the movie I just signed up for. The thought was daunting, but at the same time, I felt ready for the challenge. I mean, what if I did nail the role? My life, as I knew it, would be gone. Things would drastically change for me. I wouldn't feel so lost anymore. I would have a direction, a goal to achieve, a passion. _My passion_ , something to give my heart and soul to, as Bass described it. If there was one thing I felt I could put my soul into, this would be it. I didn't doubt it.

I turned around when I heard the door crack open. "Bathroom's all ready for you."

Without responding to the infuriating man, I just strolled past him, gathered my things and locked myself in the bathroom. This was going to be one hell of a long night for him because I sure as hell wasn't going to waste a blink of sleep over Carter! Hell no.

"Gotcha!" I exclaimed when I found my make-up bag. It was located in the very bottom of my clothes. I popped a Benadryl before I hopped into the shower. The tiny pink pill not only helped with my allergies, but put me right to sleep. After a ten minute shower, I got out and dressed in a pair of white cotton shorts and a large, soft pink, cotton shirt with a huge heart in the middle. Once I was done, I walked towards the bed. Carter was on his side, dressed in his sweatpants and nothing more, staring idly at the ceiling.

HUH.

I went over to my side and slid inside the sheets. Without a word, I turned off the light and sighed when my head hit the pillow. This entire week had been hectic. I'd lost a lot of sleep over Bass, Carter and the movie. Now, though, I was so ready to just knock the hell out.

Why didn't he go downstairs and party with the rest of his friends? This was their wild idea to begin with and now their Captain was already in bed, ready to sleep—or brood—and it wasn't even midnight yet.

Semi-unconscious, I heard him say, "I've missed you. Goodnight, baby." With another sigh, he rolled over and scooted closer to me, but not close enough to touch me. I think I dozed off after he sighed the second time.

When my eyes finally fluttered open, I found myself face-to-face with Carter. He was sleeping soundly. With his relaxed features, he looked like a fallen angel. My eyes traced his naked torso and slowly made their way back to his face. I wanted to reach out and touch him so badly. It had been so long since I had seen him so peaceful.

It caught me off guard when Carter opened his eyes and gave me a beautiful smile. If I hadn't been so surprised at getting caught, I would have smiled back. "G'morning!"

"Morning."

"Guess you slept well, huh? You snored— _sort of_ —they were like these tiny little noises coming from you, it was adorable. I stared at you doing that for hours, I think." Carter's eyes twinkled as he smiled down at me. Moments like that... I forgot everything. He was being adorable.

"I did not!"

"Did, too! Don't worry; it didn't turn me off, if that's what you're worried about. I thought it was sexy— _cute sexy_ —but still sexy, you know?"

"Shut up, Carter!" I smacked his face with a small throw pillow. I tried to do it twice to shut him up because I was starting to redden from embarrassment. Carter caught my arm and rolled me over to my back, leaving him on top of me and almost nestled in between my legs, they were barely apart.

Our eyes clashed—dark met blue. "Baby," Carter grunted when he pushed his hips against my pelvis, I unabashedly moaned. His erection was palpable, hard and hot against me. "Can I make love to you?" Carter rasped out.

Shit cakes.

I stared back at him while my breath escaped me, fully. Did he just say _make love_? Love. Carter NEVER, EVER used that word when it came to women he had sex with.

He didn't even give me a chance to reply because his lips caught mine. And hell, I reveled in his kiss, drowned in it while wishing for things that were unreachable.

His hands were quick as he pulled up my shirt and grabbed my breasts, kneading and squeezing them. My legs quivered as he pushed himself on me, grinding his cock on my mound. I moaned when he lowered his mouth to my breast and bit my nipple as his left hand sought entrance in the leg of my soaked shorts, pushing them aside so his hand could have full access to my wet silken flesh. The back of his fingers stroked the outer part of my wet folds and the act itself made me quake in anticipation for his assault. My torso lifted off the bed as I pushed my breasts out more for him to take. His hand toyed with one while his teeth and tongue lavished the other. When his tongue circled and bit my nipple, I buckled.

"Carter..." _You're driving me crazy!_ I thought as his fingers finally separated my silken folds and rubbed against my nub. My hands found his hair and I pulled it and brought his lips onto mine. Our tongues fought as his fingers continued to ambush me. I gasped when he stuck his fingers inside.

"Exquisite," he murmured. I blinked a few times. Exquisite? Bass. He uses that word—Bass.

Fuck, I needed to stop this. I didn't know why, but I felt like if I went through with this, Carter would just think I'd be back to being his permanent bootie call. _I think not_. "Stop! We have to stop."

Carter stilled. _Stilled_ —inches away from me, eyes searching mine, fingers still inside me.

"You're not serious? I'm so fucking hard, Em. I'm ready to combust here and you want to stop? What the fuck? I don't find this funny."

"Well, I don't either. Can you please take your fingers out of me?"

Carter kept staring at me and, much to my annoyance; he still hadn't pulled his fingers out. "Fine, I will stop... after you come apart on my fingers."

WTF? "No!"

However, he was determined and within a heartbeat, two fingers stroked me as his thumb massaged my nub. I thrashed and whimpered. Loving and hating what he was doing to me; hating him for making my body his slave, but loving him because I just did.

"Look at me!" Carter commanded as his fingers continued their onslaught. My body heightened and exalted. Climbing, reaching higher, for the ultimate quaking nirvana. My eyes searched his. I tried to catch his gaze, but it was hard to focus. His assaulting fingers were twirling and sliding in and out of me.

"Look. At. Me. Emma!"

"Carter," I whimpered.

"Don't hold it back. Just let go. I want to feel your juices gush like a dam on my fingers," he ordered as his fingers became serious. He took hold of my womanhood, hooking his fingers inside my walls with his thumb on my clit. His other free hand was pressed on my abdomen, pressing me down on the bed as his fingers, rubbing and flicking with purpose, obliterating any thoughts in my mind. I was locked down and didn't have a choice but to savor the sweet torture he was giving my body.

"Look at me!" Carter ordered again when he felt my muscles contract. His eyes consumed me as an orgasm hit my body. It rippled and pulsated through me and my mind went blank. I had to blink a few times before I looked at him.

Carter beamed at me as he studied the satisfaction on my face. "Shall we see how you taste this morning?" His fingers slid out of me and he immediately placed them on his tongue. He licked them without tearing his eyes off me. "You still taste like heaven, Emma."

I opened my mouth and shut it again. I couldn't believe I let him do that to me after I told him not to. Okay, I got that I didn't reject the idea much when he started to finger fuck me, but still, I was a little bothered right now and more than a tad confused.

Sitting up, I glared at his grinning face. "You shouldn't have done that!"

"Why not? You loved every second of it. If I really wanted to take you, I could've done it with ease, but I didn't. Look at my cock, it's still hard. Want to give it a go? I promise to make you come a few more times."

Arrogant son of a bitch!

"Fuck you, Carter!"

Still grinning, "Well, that was the idea, baby."

"Ugh! You're hopeless! I don't even know why or how I tolerated your absurdity for the last few months!" I exclaimed and made a move to get out of bed, but he caught me and pulled me back to him and I landed on my back.

Hovering on top of me, he spoke, "Don't leave. Stay."

Stay here... for now or _stay_ with him until he was done with me? "I'm sorry, but I can't. I have to move on." He could take that any way he wanted to, but I was done yo-yo-ing with my emotions over him. _I think_.

I had my future to think about and that was what I should put first. Messing around with Carter would be great. I mean, he was great in the sack, but then what? Have my heart broken all over again? I thought not. It would be better to just let him go now.

Pushing him off me, I scrambled to my feet. Heading towards the bathroom, I stopped midway. "Oh, by the way, thanks for the orgasm." I smiled at him and headed towards the bathroom.

Hardy har har. His expression was priceless. _Take that, jerk!_

# Chapter 18

"Without pain, there would be no suffering, without suffering we would never learn from our mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life."

~Angelina Jolie

When I got out of the shower, Carter was nowhere to be seen. Apparently, he went fishing with some of his friends. I was somewhat relieved, but my mind was nagging me. Did he fuck some other girl from his army of skanks while I was in the shower? Amanda seemed to be following him everywhere. She was pretty gorgeous, but a skank all the same. _Harsh?_ Yeah, but she totally deserved it. She would call Carter incessantly while we were still together, wanting to 'kick it.' Seriously, 'kick it' was her code? Ugh!

There were a bunch of people out on the lake and a few strolling outside, just chilling, but I didn't really know any of them. When I found Cooper in the kitchen, I was hella relieved.

"Hey, Cooper, do you know where the girls are at? I can't seem to find them anywhere."

Cooper stopped drinking from his bottled water and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Try checking their rooms. They're in the west wing. I think they're talking or whatever."

I gave him a quick wave. "Thanks, bud." I went back upstairs towards the west wing.

Sure enough, I could hear women's voices talking inside the room, but I couldn't make out what they were saying from the hallway. With a soft knock, I pushed the door open. "Why are you all in here? The weather is bright and sunny outside!" I cheerily greeted the quiet crew.

All three women looked at me. Lindsey was sitting cross-legged on the bed, Amber was sitting on the couch, hovering over a table with a bunch of credit cards splayed all over it and Trista was standing against the wall, looking pained.

_Okay..._

"Did I just miss something? Why are you guys looking all glum? _Did someone just die?_"

Trista just shrugged and kept staring at Amber. I looked at Lindsey for answers. "Amber's parents are getting divorced."

Oh, no.

I rushed to Amber's side and gave her a tight hug. "Hang in there. You're a tough cookie."

Amber sadly nodded her head and sniffed. Aw, she was obviously crying. "I hate this shit. I don't know why Dad had to cheat on my mom with a stewardess. A fucking STEWARDESS! How original. And now he's buying the fucking whore a house in Malibu. What a fucking gold-digger. That home-wrecker is killing my mom right now. My mom's hysterical." She sniffed again and wiped her eyes. "You know what the most fucked up thing is though? The stupid bitch is our age. Can you believe that shit? My father is banging a chick our age. What a disgusting pig! I hate him!" Amber started crying severely. I rubbed her back when she started having trouble breathing.

"I don't think it's wise to lay all the blame towards the mistress, Amber. It does take two to tango, you know." Trista put her two cents in on the subject. Why weren't these two consoling Amber?

Amber growled, "Yeah, you would know, right? It takes one to know one!" Her accusatory tone and eyes landed on the shocked Trista.

What did she just say? "What the fuck are you talking about, Amber?"

Amber snorted before she busted Trista. "I followed you a couple of weeks ago because you were being so sneaky. Funny, isn't it? You're screwing your cousin's husband!"

SHIT.

My eyes went back and forth between the best friends. Trista looked teary now. "I didn't mean for it to happen like that, I swear. Harry and I got drunk one night at a family party and it just happened."

OMG! Trista really was a mistress... to her cousin's husband? Talk about scandalous!

"Well, don't you think it's high time you stop fucking each other's brains out before it gets worse, Trista? Don't you think what my dad is doing to me and my mom is horrible?" Trista slid down the wall and plopped on the floor, looking distraught. Lindsey rushed over to her side and tried to soothe her.

"I can't leave him. I don't think I can," Trista whispered. "It's too late now. I'm in love with him."

"You're ruining your life, Trista! You're not that kind of woman."

"Well, you're not one to talk about ruining lives. You've been using cocaine for like forever!" Trista retorted back with vengeance.

Cocaine? No. I pushed Amber and checked her. Sure enough, she had a clear baggie of powdery, white stuff sitting on her lap. And lots of it! "You can't be using this shit, Amber. This is so bad for you! Your dad's not worth it. He's not worth ruining your life over!"

"I'm an adult. I can do whatever I want!" Amber yelled back as she prepped her paraphernalia on the table, right there in front of us.

"Amber! Stop it!" Lindsey stood up and tried to take away her stuff. Amber stood up, too, and slapped Lindsey in the face. Lindsey recoiled from the impact. "What the fuck!" She screeched.

"I want you all out of my business right now. None of you are of any help! Do you hear me? SCRAM!" Amber sat back down again, opened her tiny baggie and poured the powdery white stuff on the table. With her Platinum AMEX card, she made three perfect straight lines, tediously. She took out a tiny black straw and snorted the first line in her left nostril then she closed her amber-colored eyes, tilted her head back, sniffed and cleared her nasal passages, making sure she got all of the powdery stuff inside. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked us each in ours. "I need you all to leave. Just give me time. I need this right now before I go crazy. I'm not going to ask again."

Frozen and horrified, Lindsey and I both looked at Trista, who merely shrugged and left the room. _What the hell!_ Were we just going to leave Amber in here, wired and high? Lindsey followed suit, but I stood there, staring at Amber, not knowing what to do.

"Amber... please... listen to me."

Amber gave me a sad smile. "This is not the first time, my friend. I'm sorry you're witnessing this ugly side of me, but I am what I am. I've done this before and quit, but I just need time to process things, okay? I really like you, Emma, but right now, I really need you to leave. I just want to be alone."

"Amber... you're hurting. You can't possibly be okay to be left alone."

"Each person hurts differently. Each person processes hurt in their own way. This is how I cope with it." I wanted to hug her. Her eyes were so haunted and anguished. I felt helpless. With a begrudging nod, I silently left the room and found Lindsey and Trista at the end of the hall, waiting for me.

"How long have you guys known?" I asked the two people that have known Amber the longest.

"Ever since it started," they both responded in unison.

"Well, isn't there a way to help her?" Why were they acting like this was normal?

"We both told her parents before, but they just didn't care. They said their daughter's a big girl and that she could handle herself."

I blinked a few times before Trista's words sank in. "Are you serious? What kind of parents would say stuff like that about their daughter's addiction?"

"Give her a week or two, Emma. This is her way— _fucked up way_ , yeah—but it's her way to cope," Lindsey murmured.

I stared at her wide-eyed. So, I guess this was just a routine for them? I hadn't known and I didn't like this. I felt like there was something we should have done.

It sucked to sit idly by and watch your friend be in shambles.

I still had an hour and half or so before the planned barbecue downstairs. I didn't want to be idle anyway. I would just think too much about Carter and that was a no-go zone for now.

Lindsey and Brody went for a walk and Trista went hiking with some other folks. Amber was still stuck in her room and when I checked on her, she was curled up in bed sleeping.

All by my lonesome, I figured I should get my priorities straight and my number one priority was to start studying my movie script. I wanted to call Bass so bad, but I couldn't find my phone anywhere.

So, I decided to enjoy the view from the bedroom porch and start reading through the _Blasphemous_ script. I knew I had months to go through it, but I wanted to make sure I nailed the part right. This film would be my debut and I wasn't going to do it half-ass. I wanted to embody Angela and her feelings towards Logan and her Greek husband, Spiros, perfectly.

After reading fifty pages, my cheeks were flushed. Wow, Martin was aiming for this film to be a heck of a rollercoaster of raw sex and a mind-bending whirlwind of emotions. The first kiss between Angela and Logan the first night they met was scorching. SCORCHING to the point where I could see me and Bass kissing like our lives depended on it. Gosh, that kiss would be explosive.

I figured out that Bass and I would be nude during the love making scenes and the thought of it made me break out in a sweat. If I felt like this just thinking about it, how was I going to feel when Bass and I were actually naked?

I closed the script and decided that I would read it later. Provoking thoughts of Bass and me in that heated sexual ordeal was too much to take in. Out of options, I retreated to the massive bed that was inviting me to sleep.

A nap would do me wonders.

"Hey, aren't you that chick?" one of the guests asked me as she snapped her fingers, trying to remember where she saw me.

"Don't think so," I mumbled as I forked the ribs and placed them on my plate.

The girl still pondered. "Yup, got it! You were in that celebrity gossip magazine, right? I think you were with _Bass Cole!_ OMG! O.M.G! Yeah! _Yeah!_ That was you! You guys were coming out of a club together! Shit, you're dating Bass Cole! Can I take a picture with you?" I stared at her, horrified. _Are you kidding me?_ I didn't understand why she was freaking out like that. The decently composed girl turned shrieking monster made me want to hide somewhere. "Wow, you're really pretty!" she kept on going. I was beyond relieved when Lindsey joined us.

My friend butted in, but not to help me. "I know, right? Give me your phone. I'll take a picture of you two together!" Lindsey offered and the ranting girl happily obliged.

What the hell? This was stupid. I was not Bass's girlfriend! "But I'm not his girlfriend!" I interjected, but neither one seemed to care.

"Give me a pretty smile, Emma! One, two, three; say cottage cheese!" I wanted to murder Lindsey right then and there.

Once the annoying girl left with her stupid picture, I went to sock my friend. Lindsey put her hands up. "Listen, I know that was stupid and I had a lot of fun teasing you, but honey, you have to start getting used to stuff like that. In seven months, this little bubble you live in will no longer exist."

She was right, but I didn't want to point that out to her. Instead, I asked about Amber and Trista. I was still in shock about what happened earlier. "Amber is hard-headed. There's no way around her," she told me. "Trista, on the other hand, seems to be hopeless. She's in love with that Harry guy and doesn't want to leave him."

Hell, it was how I felt. I was watching Trista and Amber spiral downwards and there was nothing I could do but watch as they struggled to stay afloat.

Lindsey and I were eating barbeque and enjoying the placid view of the beautiful lake before us. There were bonfires, music and tons of drunken folks singing and dancing, but we decided to choose a spot far enough away from the crowd so we could chat. We stopped stuffing ourselves with ribs when we saw Cece come out of a darkened corner with Cooper, doing God knows what. My eyes automatically darted to Lindsey.

Anger, pain, hatred and jealousy were all etched on her pretty face. "Linds?"

"I'm fucking furious right now. Does Cece have to get a taste of every guy that I've ever been with? I don't get her. And as for Cooper, he can go fuck himself and stuff his sausage in Cece's contaminated pussy."

"Sorry, I know you liked Coop." Lindsey did. She wouldn't have slept with him if she didn't.

"I just lost my appetite. Want to drink with me, doll? I know you haven't touched much alcohol lately, but I'm asking you to drink with me. I want to forget what I just saw." Crap, my friend was hella hurt. Men, we hated them and yet, we couldn't live without them.

I stood up and pulled my friend out of her seat. Before we started commiserating in our drunken misery, I had to give her a big I-love-you-no-matter-what kind of hug.

"Come on let's look for a bottle of Hennessy and Patron. It's time to crash this party!" my hurt friend said with determination.

Lindsey Mason had one purpose and that was to show Cooper Haze a big fuck you.

# Chapter 19

"Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with."

~Candace Bushnell

We'd been drinking for about two hours straight and I must say, neither of us were coherent. Once the alcohol hit Lindsey's bloodstream, she was unstoppable. She danced and made out with Brody, for Cooper to see.

"Get your tight ass up here, Emma!" Lindsey and Trista tried to gather me up with them.

I was about to get on top of the mahogany bar and join them dancing _Coyote Ugly_ style when Carter pulled me back. _This better be good..._ "Don't you dare get your drunken ass up there, Emma!" he bellowed as something flashed below me and my eyes went straight to his pocket.

Carter was wearing white surfer shorts and I could easily see my phone screen flashing.

_Bass Cole Calling..._

I lunged towards him and dug inside his pocket. "Give me that!" I ordered, but Carter was too strong for me and he pulled my hand out before I had the chance to even brush against my phone. Fuck! How many times had Bass called? How many times had he sent messages? They all went unanswered.

"Didn't I make myself clear that you don't get to have it back until we hit Santa Barbara again?"

Since Carter was a major Jerk—yes, with a capital J—I threw him my two middle fingers. "F.U.C.K. YOU! Why don't you go stick this up your idiotic ass and spin on it?" Whoops! Too harsh? My bad.

With that parting, I joined the girls on the bar just when _Womanizer_ came on the speakers. Ha ha ha! Can you say the song was perfect for all three of us gals?

_"Superstar_

_Where you from, how's it going?_

_I know you_ _gotta clue, what you're doing_

_You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here_

_But I know what you are, what you are, baby."_

Trista and I bumped our butts together as we continued on. Guys gathered around the table, taking videos and hollering. Lindsey was getting all hyped up.

_"Look at you_

_Gettin' more than just re- up_

_Baby, you_

_Got all the puppets with their strings up_

_Fakin' like a good one, but I call 'em like I see ' em_

_I know what you are, what you are, baby."_

I could feel Carter's simmering anger from somewhere in the room, but I didn't have it in me to look for him. His abhorrent antics were getting to me and I didn't know if I could stand being close to him without killing him.

_"Womanizer_

_Woman- Womanizer_

_You're a womanizer_

_Oh Womanizer_

_Oh You're a Womanizer Baby_

_You, You You Are_

_You, You You Are_

_Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer."_

Each time Lindsey uttered the word _womanizer_ , she pointed to a man—any man. Ha! Girlfriend was on a roll. Guess Cooper Haze was now history, huh?

I sang and danced with my gals until I couldn't do it any longer. Out of breath, I jumped down off the bar and hunted for a bottle of water. I took one from the sprawling amount of iced beverages next to the bar we were dancing on and walked out of the house, needing distance from the riotous commotion that Lindsey evoked. At the same time, I couldn't stand the swirling thoughts of the men in my life.

Once outside, I walked towards the backyard and welcomed the fresh change of scenery before me. The moon was high and my entire body was blanketed in sweat. The earthy smell of pine and crisp air cleared my jumbled brain.

Lindsey was hurt. I got that and I did feel for her, but at the same time, if I was Cooper or Brody, how would I feel if the woman I was after couldn't make up her damn mind? Well, I guess that didn't take long because Cece made that decision easier for her. I just hoped that Lindsey would be okay.

Occupied with my thoughts, I strolled at a leisurely pace until I hit a stream. I leaned against a pine tree as I stared at the flowing water and the calming sound it produced. The trickling sound made me feel at peace.

Who would've thought a month ago I would be in this position? Life certainly had its way of surprising you when you least expected it, especially when you were down and out. No matter what happened with Bass, if we became involved or not, I would forever be grateful to him. _Not only_ did he open a lot of doors for me and _not only_ did he make it an easy transition for me, he made me realize a lot of things. He made me see that life was about following what your gut tells you to do and not what others expected you to do–his 'half and half' speech.

Bass was a passionate man. He spoke with conviction and truth. He was straightforward and didn't hesitate when he wanted something. I wanted to be like that. I _hoped_ to become like that. I admired him. I admired his passion and his authenticity. He was the real thing. What was exemplary about his personality was that he didn't let all the fame and fortune get to his handsome head. Bass was a grounded man.

Even with all that, I couldn't bring myself to be with Bass. _Yes_ , things were running in the fast lane—even faster than the German Autobahn—and it startled me that things unfolded as quickly as they did. _Even_ if I could get over the fact that things had been going too fast with Bass, it wouldn't eradicate what I felt for Carter.

Sure, my love for Carter wasn't as strong since I met Bass, but it was still there, lurking in the back of my mind and when I least expected it, it would pop right out at me like a jack-in-the-box.

Carter... where the heck did I even begin with that tumultuous rollercoaster?

I tensed when I heard a twig snap, bringing me out of my reverie.

Well, wasn't it the very man himself? "Emma."

I sighed. Couldn't I just have a moment of peace without him hounding me? "What do you want, Carter? Are you giving me my phone back? If you came here to be an ass again, then I suggest you go back before I pummel your body into the ground!" I threatened.

In reality, I wasn't capable of beating him into the ground—he was all muscle—but I needed to relay just how angry I was. Carter was being beyond unreasonable. He made a two-year–old's tantrums easier to deal with.

Carter sighed as he raked his large, sexy hand through his hair. The moonlight made him look even more dangerously beautiful, much to my dismay. The last thing he needed was for me to gawk and praise his Adonis form and beauty. Carter already had an over-sized ego.

"Em, I know I've been such a jerk to you over the last week. It's just—that's how I was used to reacting to things and I don't like changing what is normal to me, but this past week has been pure hell. I really want you back in my life." Carter came closer, pained and unsure. He stared at me with such burning emotion, I felt faint. "I'm sorry. Please... please... _forgive me_?" he asked as he tried to reach out to me, but I quickly moved to the side, not wanting him to touch me.

Words. An _'I'm Sorry'_ from Carter wouldn't cut it with me. Well, not anymore. "You're sorry? For the last week, you've been acting like a little boy who wanted his old toy back. Well—that's just it, Carter! I told you I was done with you. I am done with our half ass kind of relationship. I want more than sex. I want commitment— _I want it all!_ You're not that man—you have some kind of phobia when it comes to commitment. So, please, just walk away and stop pursuing me."

He moved a little closer before he spoke, sounding more sure, more than ever. "I could be that man and I will— _for you,_ I will, Em. Just give me a chance!" Empty promises, they didn't mean shit anymore. Oh, he was good with those.

"Promises. Here we go again. Save your promises for another woman who would die to hear them from you. I am not that woman, Carter— _not anymore_. It's best you get that drilled into your head." I hugged myself and started to walk fast, away from him.

I was so _over_ this. I'd reached my limit when it came to Carter. I didn't think I could stomach this crazy tug of war with my emotions anymore. I needed to move on and never look back, no matter how much it pained me to do so.

With renewed determination, I walked towards the clearing. I wasn't sure if he was following me or not. It was hard to hear because my ears were ringing from our encounter and it didn't help that I was more than tipsy. I stopped abruptly when he did something I hadn't expected him to.

When I was halfway through the clearing, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "I love you." His voice was choked up, abundant with tortured pain.

Frozen, I let his words sink in.

The words I had waited to hear from his lips were now my reality. I fought the emotions that roared through me. They were igniting my whole body and burning me with their crackling fire.

In quick haste, I turned around and ran towards him. "Don't you fucking dare use _love_ in this, Carter! We both know you don't do 'love.' You don't get to use that as a fucking weapon," I spat at his face, even more furious that he was riling me up. He had the _audacity_ to use that damn four letter word. The gall! My determined stance and face spoke volumes. He wasn't getting through to me. He knew I meant what I said. Carter would not weaken my resolve. Been there, done that.

Carter stared at me for a second, his face contorted with misery. He looked simply wounded and in utter disbelief that I threw his declaration of love back in his face. His breathing was ragged and his pained gaze simply eviscerated me. His Adam's apple bobbed before he rasped out, "Emma, _please_..."

My eyes searched his and in that very instant, I knew he meant every word. Defeated, he sunk to his knees. With his head down, he inhaled, deeply, like he needed to get as much air as he could to enable him to breathe properly. Startled and panicked, I stared at the broken man kneeling before me.

_What the hell do I do?_ I thought as I bit my lip.

Carter looked up at me. "I _love_ you, Emma. I've loved you ever since the first night you spent in my arms. I've been in love with you all this time, but I never had the courage or __ strength to tell you how I felt because I was a coward, but being a coward made me lose you and now I'm trying to brave it out for you—face my demons because of my love for you and you alone," his voice wobbled. "I feel like half a person without you, Em. I can't function. I need you back; I want you back because I honestly love you."

God! He did mean it.

Shit.

Fuck.

Shit.

There went my damn perseverance.

_Carter..._

"My father used to be so in love with my mom, to the point where nothing made sense to him unless my mother was around, close to him. My mom was his obsession, his drug. But even with his obsessive adoration, my mom cheated on him. One night, she came home and told my father that she was pregnant and the father was her personal trainer. She was going to move in with him... my dad... he was distraught, even then, he begged my mom not to leave him. He even went on and on and promised to love the child she was carrying as his own because he loved everything about her and if the baby was part of the bargain, he'd take it in a heartbeat. Lindsey was too young to understand what was going on. But I did, I saw what love could do to a man. It weakens you and it makes a fool out of you.

"The same night of her revelation, my mom left us. My father, fool that he was, followed her out in a separate car. My mom ended up crashing her car against a broken-down truck on the side of the road. I guess dad was following closely behind her because his car followed suit. I'm not sure if it happened because he didn't have much time to maneuver, _or_ if he did it on purpose so that he could follow Mom because he couldn't live without her.

"You see, Emma, love doesn't come easy for me. It was the one thing I promised myself not to do—I didn't want to follow in my father's footsteps. I wanted to hide it from you... for as long as I could, but you left me no choice. When I told you I loved you... it's because I honestly do."

Oh, my God... Carter did love me.

"Get up, please," I begged. I couldn't stand the sight of him hurting and in evident pain as he knelt before me.

Carter shook his head, clearly adamant. "No—not until you take me back." His contorted face gave away how serious he was.

_What do I do?_ I was torn. Should I wait for a sign to tell me to take him back _or_ should I grab at the opportunity to be with the man I had fallen for? Maybe this time, we could make it work as a couple in a real relationship, not the sexual one we had before.

Bass...

What about Bass? Bass and I had known each other for such a short amount of time. I lusted after him. Who wouldn't? However, it was Carter who I loved, right? This was my chance to have my heart's desire.

_Then_ , _what am I waiting for?_

"Fine, I'm taking you back... as long as you promise that you will try very hard to make this work. I'm giving you this one chance, Carter, don't fuck it up."

"What did you say, Em?" he asked, a smile forming on his handsome face. He obviously heard me, but wanted me to say it again.

"Uh, now you're just driving me nuts!" I complained as I held out my hand for him to grab onto so I could lift him up. To my surprise, he pulled me down with him. I let out a loud squeal as he tickled me half to death.

With my back on the ground and Carter on top of me, I felt deliriously happy. Our faces were inches apart as he spoke, "I love you, Emma, and I promise to be loyal to you and _you_ alone. I will give my all to make you happy."

_God, let's hope so because I'm dropping Bass Cole for you. You better make it worth it._

I linked my arms around his neck and looked at the man I had fallen for. For the first time since he said those words, I saw Carter in a new light. I whispered, "I love you, too, Carter Mason."

" _Thank the fucking gods_! 'Cause if you didn't, I wasn't going to let you leave the cabin until you told me that you did." I laughed at his statement as he kissed me passionately.

I moaned as his mouth ambushed my senses. His hand possessively captured the side of my cheek as he voraciously fed his appetite with hot lingering kisses. With his hard body on top of mine, his hand reached inside of my sweater, pushing my bra aside. He caressed my breast and pinched my nipple.

I groaned as he whispered my name, "Emma... I love how you come apart in my arms."

Carter didn't give me much time to think as he took my leggings off. The chilly night didn't hinder our urgent need to be together; the need to feel each other, the need to become one. My thong was flung in the air next as I looked at the man who consumed me. I watched as he took his shorts off with no shyness or inhibition. His gorgeous, muscled body was illuminated in the moonlight as his gaze burned with fire; they were full of ardent passion, heady lust and savage desire.

His dark eyes obliterated me and he was all I could see, feel and need. Without another word, he annihilated my lips as he parted my legs and harshly plunged inside me with one hard thrust. I gasped as his huge cock filled me, hot and demanding.

"You're worth the wait, Emma," I heard Carter say as my body craved and savored every heated, hard thrust he gave.

"Give me more, Carter. Give it to me harder."

With haste, his left hand cupped my ass cheek, lifting and pressing it against him, making it easier for him to go deeper, stretching and filling me to capacity. I reached for his ass to keep it in place, to continue to shove it deeper inside me. "Your nice little pussy is fucking heaven, baby."

We panted and mated like we were dying and couldn't live without each other. He held my hips with his strong arms, his manhood still jammed inside me as he shifted us to a sitting position with me on top. With my feet planted on the lush, cool ground on the sides of his hips, I linked my arms around his neck, kissing him as I rode him hard with urgency and greed.

"Take everything that you want from me, baby. Ride me harder— _give me your all_. Give me that nice, juicy pussy, again and again. I want it to eat my cock whole. Ride me harder, baby." Carter groaned as I clutched his shoulders harder and took him as he commanded me to.

"Carter!" I choked out as spasms hit me in waves.

His lips sought my neck and bit into it as my orgasm shattered me into pieces. I moaned as he took charge of my hips and lifted me up and down, sliding in and out of me as he prepared for his own release.

"FUCK, BABY! You're the best fuck!" he grunted out as he came inside me.

Limp and distractedly happy, I laughed as he tried to kiss me. "I love you, Emma."

"This is crazy. I can't believe we did this out here."

"Sorry, I couldn't control myself. I was dying and needed to have you as soon as possible. There's no one else but you, Emma." He looked soulful as he stroked my flushed cheek. "Thank you for giving me this chance again, Em. I will make you very happy." I smiled as I kissed him.

I hoped he would keep his promise because I didn't know if I could stand it if he hurt me again, but that's what love was, right? We had to take a risk or we'd never know what love truly meant.

"You're still on the pill right?"

I raised my brow in question. "Yeah, why?"

Carter smiled and gave my lips a searing kiss. "Tonight's going to be a long night. I'm going to make love to you over and over again until the sun comes up."

"A stud's promise?" I cheekily asked as he gave me a wink and gathered me up.

"It's only the beginning, you'll see," he said as we got dressed and then strolled back to the cabin to join the crowd.

# Chapter 20

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."

~Kahlil Gibran

There you guys are!" Amanda announced in front of everyone. "Where have you been Carter? I've been looking all over for you." She pouted as she traced the outline of Carter's neckline.

"Are you blind, Amanda?" I asked the blatant flirt after I smacked her hand away from touching Carter.

"Hello? Of course not. I can't be this hot and be blind, _duh?_ Why do you like this boring, so-so, plain woman, Carter? She's just plain, _like_ vanilla. Uh, who likes vanilla, anyway? No one!" The bitch smirked at me.

I wanted to wipe that smirk off her smug face.

"Yeah, I am boring compared to you, so what? Carter wants the vanilla me and not your flavorful swirls. Get over it."

Something flashed in Amanda's eyes. She was in full catty mode. "He likes my swirls. Trust me–Carter Mason loves swirls." Amanda looked at Carter through her lashes as she stuck her tongue out and traced her lips.

"That's enough from you, Amanda. Emma and I are back together now and I'm not interested. Stop following me around and find someone else to sink your claws into."

Amanda huffed and spoke before she walked off, "You're going to miss me, Carter. I can't wait 'til you come knocking on my door."

I tensed. _Reality check, here it is._

"Let's go back to our room," Carter suggested and I didn't even nod or respond to him because my mind was still focused on what Amanda just spewed; swirls, blowjobs. That meant she had sucked him off. I knew I shouldn't be really mad since we were broken up, or at least I hoped we had been when the incident happened with Amanda. Still, I had to see her around. A lot.

Once inside the confines of our bedroom, Carter strolled towards the bay windows and looked out at the glittery lake As he spoke, "She gave me head, once. Well, I guess half a head since I didn't let her finish. It was that same night you went off on a date with Bass Cole, when I caught you guys at the apartment."

Shit cakes. Yeah, same night I begged for Bass to kiss me—the same night that I wanted Bass to touch me.

"Did you do anything else with her? Or with anyone else, for that matter?"

Carter shook his head. "No, I wanted to. I mean, I tried to, but I couldn't get you out of my head, Em."

I smiled. "Good to know."

I walked towards the bed and sat down. Carter came over and joined me, looking serious. "Did you have sex with Bass? Did you kiss him?"

_Did I have sex with Bass?_ Definitely not, although, I wanted to.

_Did I kiss those perfect lips of his?_ No, although, I wanted to, oh so badly.

"No, we didn't go that far. He kissed my neck though, if you must know."

Carter pulled me onto his lap and kissed me. "Are you telling me the truth? You really didn't have sex with him? 'Cause everyone was saying you did and that magazine insinuated you did."

_They did_ , didn't they? Well, they got my thoughts correct, but not what really happened.

"No, nothing happened. We just hung out and talked a lot. Bass is a great guy. He was respectful and treated me with the utmost care."

And boy did he. Bass. I was really going to miss him. My heart constricted at the thought of not being around him. I liked Bass _a lot_ , but there was always going to be a big BUT when it came to him.

"Good, because if he hadn't, I would have just loved to knock that arrogant son of a bitch out."

"Oh, shut up, Carter! You're not punching anyone."

"Don't you doubt it because I will hurt anyone that tries to hurt you, Emma."

I took a moment to think about what he said. When I looked up, I found his eyes on me. "There's only one thing I ask of you... don't hurt me, Carter."

He kissed my lips and smiled. "Not going to happen. Why don't we go downstairs and join the rest of our friends? We're leaving tomorrow after all."

I shook my head. I was emotionally drained and tired from all the alcohol I consumed. I also didn't want another encounter with Amanda. "You go right ahead. I want to shower and catch up on some reading." Reading the movie script; something that I wasn't ready to share with him. I would tell him eventually, but not tonight. I just didn't know how he'd react to it.

"You're sure? I can stay with you, if you want."

I pinched his cheek. "I am sure. Soccer just ended and you guys had a tremendous season. You need to party with your team."

Was I a jealous woman? Hell, yes, but I was a reasonable one, too. I knew what this weekend meant to him and his teammates and I wasn't going to come in between that. I just hoped that he would be just as noble when I told him about the movie I would be doing with Bass. Didn't they say in every relationship one should learn how to give and take? Well, here it was. This was me giving.

"You're the best, Em! I'll be back in a couple hours." He stood up and pulled my phone out of his pocket. "Here. I don't need to hold your phone hostage to get your attention. I love you." He then kissed me and headed towards the door.

I called out to him before he managed to grab the door handle, "You better be on your best behavior, Carter Mason, because the minute you touch another woman, you'll be dead to me."

"Never, my love." Carter blew me a kiss and swiftly closed the door behind him.

Sighing, I plopped down on the bed. My phone weighed heavily in my hand.

I glanced at it like I had never seen a cell phone in my life. Curious, I unlocked it. Sure enough, the battery was low. I had two missed calls from my mom and seven missed calls from Bass. When I opened my messages, Mom sent me one and Bass sent me five.

Mom: _Honey, we haven't heard from you in a while. I called because I wanted to tell you Aunt Gemma and little Joey are here and we'd love it if you could come by. Please call us. We miss you!_

Scrolling towards the first message Bass sent me, I quickly opened it. It was his reply to my last text message.

Bass Cole: _I know that my life is my own, but if you did ask it of me, then I would be more than happy. I'm leaving for Canada soon and I can't help thinking about you and what happens next. I know it's too early for you to even think about being in another relationship, but that's what I want with you... I just want you to know... need you to know that I'm serious about us. When you're ready, I want to be with you, Emma._

Oh, Lordy. Ugh! Now I was totally confused! That, of course, didn't stop me from reading the rest of his texts.

Bass Cole: _Was that too much at one time? I've waited for your response for over an hour now. Emma?_

I didn't have my phone, but even if I did, would I have replied to that heavy loaded text message? _Maybe..._

Bass Cole: _Sorry, Em. I guess that was the wrong thing for me to say. It was inconsiderate even. I merely wanted assurance that you somehow... somewhat... feel the same._

How spot on because I did feel a connection. I had never been in tune with any guy until Bass came along.

Bass Cole: _Emma? I suppose your silence is answer enough. That's all right. I'm not angry, so don't worry. I won't mention it again._

The message was sent this morning. Did I want to call him and apologize? Explain how Carter took my phone? If I did, was I ready to answer Bass's questions? Or better yet, was I ready to tell him about Carter?

Bass Cole: _Martin called your phone, but it went straight to voicemail. I'm just letting you know that he made a reservation for six-thirty Monday night at Melisse._

Business manner, cut straight to the point with no _hi_ or _hello_. What did I really expect after not replying to any of the text messages he sent?

Me: _Thank you. Tell Martin I will be there._

I stared at my phone for a good twenty minutes, waiting for his reply, but it didn't come.

Exhausted, emotionally and physically, I dragged my body towards the bathroom to shower. When I was done, I checked my phone again, but there was still no response.

I should have felt like I was floating on cloud nine because Carter and I were back together, but I wasn't. My heart weighed heavily in my chest.

Carter woke me up when he noisily came back to the room, drunk as hell. He stripped to his naked glory and slid into bed. Pulling me close to him, he whispered, half asleep, "I love you."

I blinked a few times, feeling a little guilty that my thoughts had been consumed by Bass the entire time he was downstairs.

Depleted, I willed myself to go back to sleep and tried to erase the image of Bass Cole's hypnotizing blue eyes from my mind. I tried, but didn't succeed. They were haunting me.

# Chapter 21

"Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate."

~David Pratt

It was Monday afternoon and I was on my way to meet up with Trista and Lindsey at the café. When they learned I was back with Carter, they didn't look too happy. I guess it would take time for them to get over Bass Cole, too. They all adored him.

They were both already seated with their drinks when I finally walked in. I sat at the table and saw that they had already ordered my coffee. "You guys are the best!"

"We know!"

Sipping the still hot coffee, I savored the first taste of my caffeine fix for the day. I ran late to school again because Carter wouldn't let me out of the damn bed.

"Things are great between you and Carter?" Trista asked cautiously.

"Yeah, they are. Why?"

"Are you going to tell Bass?" Lindsey pressed on.

"Yes, I actually plan to... tonight." Trista and Lindsey both just sighed.

Okay... "What? Just spit it out."

Lindsey spoke first, "We get that you just got back with my brother, but are you sure you want to let go of Bass? I mean, Emma, _ding dong._ You like Bass! Why don't you sit tight for a second and really think it through before you give him the axe? Bass really likes you and, to be honest, I think he deserves you way more than my brother."

Ding dong? I had thought it through, _hadn't I?_

"Lindsey has a point, doll. I know my love life is hopeless at this point, but yours... you could still salvage it, you know?"

"I have thought it through, so please stop." _Lies._ The only thought that had been occupying my mind were those spellbinding azure eyes. I turned to Trista. "You're not going to keep this affair going, are you? Not only are you hurting yourself, but your cousin, too."

Trista instantly looked sad all of a sudden. "I know, but have you ever felt that strong pull towards someone without explanation? Like having them around makes you feel complete? I read about this twin souls crap online. They're soul mates, but so much more. When you meet your twin soul, you feel an intense love for them, but conclude that it's just lust. It said that you could try to move on, but it would be impossible. No matter how hard you try to fight your feelings, you would always be a part of them."

"That being said, I felt that intense, powerful love when I met Harry. I tried to forget about him and as soon as I thought I had, we would run into each other and all those intense feelings would come rushing back. For two years we fought this magnetic pull towards each other. It was difficult—it physically hurt to be apart from him. One night, when everyone decided to go to bed early during a family get together, it happened— _we happened_. Harry says he wants to leave my cousin, Becka, but I told him not to. I haven't thought that far ahead yet and I'm not too sure if I'm ready for my entire family to disown me."What. A. Conundrum.

I supposed no matter how much you twisted it around, someone was going to end up hurt. However, in this case, Trista was hurting her family. She was not just hurting a person, but she was hurting _people_ ; people that were dear to her. I felt sorry for her. I'd hate to be in her shoes.

"I hope Harry is worth it, Tris. I'll skin him alive if he's playing you for a fool," Lindsey finally spoke up.

"Make sure he's worth it because if he isn't, maybe it's time to move on," I added as I looked at her saddened face.

I turned to Lindsey. "How's Amber doing?"

After her hermit-like hiding in Lake Tahoe, I spoke to her briefly before we all rode back to school yesterday morning. She said she was tired and that she didn't feel like talking. I gave her a quick hug and let her be.

"She dropped out today and left for New York to be with her grandmother. She didn't even say goodbye in person. All I got was a freaking text message." Trista looked even more upset now. Lindsey and I confirmed that we got the same message.

"Will her grandmother help her?" Amber needed to heal and deal with her drug habit.

"I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I really hope so because I don't know what I'd do if she overdoses. She's stubborn and doesn't like to be told what to do. It's hard to help someone when they don't want to help themselves."

I was going to ask Lindsey about the men in her life when I got interrupted.

"Here you are!" Carter surprised me as he gave me a big smacking kiss on the lips. "Hey, Tris and baby sis."

"Hey, yourself. What are you doing here? I thought you had class?" I asked as he sat on my retro chic armrest.

"I do and I'm about to head out soon. I just wanted to drop by and say hi. How about I take you ladies out tonight for dinner?"

All three of us exchanged glances. They knew I was going to see Bass tonight, so they remained mum.

"Baby, _about_ that... I'm actually going to go meet Bass tonight. This was planned a week ago." Sort of...

Carter immediately tensed. "Do you really need to go see him? I don't think it's necessary, Em. He can go fuck himself."

"Ugh, you're such a tool, Carter. You didn't like it when Emma was making your life a living hell, right? So back off! You just got her back; don't make her change her mind now." Catty, weren't we? Lindsey didn't want me back with Carter—that was obvious. I knew she loved him, but I wasn't sure why she didn't want us together.

"Just back-up a second there, Linds." Carter turned to me and spoke, "If this is what you need to do, then I trust you, okay? I have to run to class. I love you."

"I love you."

With a quick kiss, he darted off to his class.

"That was harsh, Lindsey!" Trista chided. Lindsey just shrugged and leaned back.

"I just don't know. I don't want him to hurt Emma again. Look, there's this guy who is super sex on legs that treats her so well and she's trading that to be with _Carter?_ I don't know. I just don't want you to have any regrets, Em. That's all."

"Lindsey has a point, Emma, but if Carter is the one that really makes you happy, then we will fully support you."

"Thank you."

The thought of seeing Bass again made my stomach churn. So much had happened since I last saw him five days ago. Tonight, I had to be brave when I faced him. I would have to keep myself composed, no matter how Bass treated me. I supposed I'd get to see how good of an actress I could be.

It was time to put my big girl panties on and act like one.

I dressed with the utmost consideration. I chose a silver and black sequined, silk tunic, loose dress that stopped at mid-thigh and had a low curved back. I left my hair loose and amped up my make-up. I went for the smoky eye look and accentuated the top part of my cheeks and the curve of my eyebrows with a slight white shimmer mousse cream. I applied my candy pink lipstick and finished it off with a swipe of tinted peach gloss and then blended them together.

It was already twenty to six and I would be extremely late if I didn't leave right away.

Frantic, I gathered my silver clutch as I slipped into my silver cut-out bootie shoes in haste. "I'm leaving!" I called out to Lindsey, splashing a spray of my perfume before dashing out the door. I slipped inside my G-Class white on black Mercedes and headed to the restaurant, getting a call from my mom as soon as I got on the road.

"Sweetie, how are you?" Mom's voice came through the car's speakers. I sighed once I saw the traffic jam that awaited me. Crapper.

"I'm well, Mom. I was hoping to speak to you guys tomorrow or the day after? It's about something important."

"That sounds serious. What is it about?" Mom sounded worried.

"It sorta is—well it's about my future... I think I've finally found my niche," I went on, giving her a clue.

"Hmm... why do I feel like this is going to give me a cardiac arrest?" Mom sounded suspicious. "Your dad and I are both off tomorrow since Aunt Gemma and baby Joey are visiting."

A car honked behind me and I rolled my eyes. _Geez, what's the hurry? Everyone is bumper to bumper. No one is going anywhere so there's no need for the damn honking!_ I fumed.

Cali drivers... they're fucking insane!

"You shouldn't be talking and driving at the same time, young lady!" My mother scolded me for the thousandth time.

"One word—Bluetooth."

"I'm getting off the phone now so you can focus. We'll see you tomorrow. Love you, kiddo."

"Love you, too, Mommy Dearest," I said as a joke.

Finally, at six-forty, I was outside of the French restaurant, Melisse, on Wilshire Boulevard. I was ten minutes late and I was so nervous I felt like I was about to piss my undies. I took three calming breaths before I got out of the car and handed my keys to the valet.

Once inside, I was greeted by a slim, pretty brunette. "Good evening, I'm Alyssa. Do you have a reservation?"

"I'm with the Lombardo party," I said and noticed how her eyes snapped open.

"With Bass Cole? He just got here." She started to become chatty as she eyed me with interest.

"Okay. Um, can you direct me to where the table is located?" I pointed towards the dining room.

She immediately stood ram-rod straight and stepped out to show me to my table. "Certainly, sorry. It's just that I am a huge fan of Bass. I heard he's going to make a risqué Lombardo film. Is that true? I can't wait to see him on the big screen. He oozes raw sexuality, don't you agree?" Alyssa smiled as she sashayed about.

"I suppose," I muttered. It wasn't that I didn't feel like talking, it was the fact that she was talking about Bass and I didn't want to talk about him.

Martin and Bass were already seated in a darkened corner, talking in hushed voices. Martin stood up as I neared the table and Bass... _well..._ he barely glanced my way.

"Here you are. Is everything to your liking, Mr. Lombardo?" Alyssa asked in a saccharine tone.

"Perfect, thank you." Martin dismissed her in a polished manner as he came over and gave me a quick peck on the cheek and pulled out my chair.

"Good evening, Martin, Bass."

"Emma," Bass greeted me through gritted teeth. I hated that he was treating me with cold indifference. It made me feel like shit.

Sensing the tension, Martin stepped in. "Still looking beautiful as ever, Emma, how are you? How was Tahoe?" Martin inquired as he poured me a glass of Shiraz.

"I had a great time. I'm glad to be home though."

I looked at Bass, but he was busy on his phone, completely ignoring me as he sipped on his wine.

The waiter came and took our orders and Martin waited a minute or two before speaking again. "Thanks for taking on the role as Angela on such short notice, Emma. I must say that I am quite anxious to start filming this movie. The studio had a lot of reservations about it in the beginning once the script was done, but that didn't deter me. You and Bass will make it happen for me. I can't wait to see it on the big screen."

Wow, pressure much? "Thank you. It's not like I could decline it. It's a great opportunity for me and thank you for offering it. You don't know how awesome this is." I cleared my throat before I continued, "You know, just in case I totally suck, you can take the money back. I'm not doing this for the money. I'm doing this because I really love to act and I want to see if this is what I want to do for the rest of my life."

That caught Bass's attention. He and Martin roared with laughter.

"Oh, Emma Anderson, you are a gem. Where have you been hiding all this time? I like your personality. You're going to be great, so your money back guarantee assurance is of no need, my dear." Martin shook his head in wonderment.

Yes, the money was great. Come on, it was one million dollars, but in all honesty, I was really doing this for myself. There was no other reason behind it.

"So what were you up to this weekend, Emma?" Bass finally diverted his attention to me as he slipped his phone inside his pocket. His azure eyes were drawing me in, looking very decadent and sinful.

I licked my lips. "I... uh, partied and spent a lot of time catching up with my friends."

Martin excused himself to take a phone call. Bass waited until Martin was out of earshot before he spoke again. "And Carter? You're back with him, aren't you?"

Shit. How does he do that? He seemed to just know.

"Yes, we did get back together." I braved it out and took a quick glance at him. Sigh, why did he have to be so... _everything?_

Bass was playing with his fork, making circles with it as he stared at it. "It was going to happen eventually. It was a given when you decided to join them. A part of me hoped you didn't though." Bass lifted his eyes. They burned holes in me. Ah, fuck.

We stared at each other and I took in his face. How did he get such perfect skin? Was he a fan of facials? Fuck, and those lips... I dreamt of those lips. Why was he so stingy with his kisses? I still didn't get it. It was like the more he hesitated, the more I craved them. But it was just as well; I was with Carter now.

"Bass, are you angry with me?" He gave me a sad smile before he shook his handsome head. His dirty blond hair stuck out in all sorts of directions—bed head—but he sported it perfectly. In fact, it made him look sexier.

"What should I be angry about, Em? That you're in love with Carter? No, I am not angry. I'm not an idiot." Bass huffed out a sigh. "As long as you're happy, nothing else matters."

"Bass! Fancy seeing you here! I've missed you. Do you want to come over again tonight? I'm free and available for you," A stunning woman interrupted us and gave Bass a long lingering kiss on the lips.

No. Shit. _This woman had the privilege to kiss him?_ I eyed her with a covetous stare.

When the blonde woman came up for air, Bass spoke, "Lydia, this is Emma Anderson. She and I will be co-starring in _Blasphemous_."

When Lydia finally turned to me, I was rendered speechless. Hell, she looked like a pretty angel. She was tall and lithe with clear blue eyes. Wait—Lydia? As in _Lydia Cornwell?_ Ha! She really was an angel... a Victoria's Secret angel.

"Hello, Lydia. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Same to you, Emma." She gave me a beautiful smile before looking back at Bass. "Call me tonight? I've got to go. My agent is here with me. I will see you tomorrow. I can't wait for Canada!"

Lydia said her goodbyes, giving Bass another kiss before she turned to me and gave me another fucking smile. Her smile, it was genuine, not one of the fake ones. I simmered even more.

"She's an actress, too?" I didn't know that.

"No, I invited her along to join me. I didn't want to get bored in Canada."

_Right..._ because a pretty angel would be making all your wishes come true.

"Well, good for you. I guess now we're both happy. How quaint," I said sourly.

"Sorry the call took a while." Martin slid back in to his seat.

I was rather grateful that Martin chose that moment to come back. I couldn't look at Bass. My stomach was churning and my mind was working overtime. Ding dong, what do you call that? _Oh yeah_ , jealousy. It was twisting me up like a damn pretzel.

Once the food arrived, the conversation stuck to the movie we were about to film. The food was excellent. It was fine French cuisine with a twist of fusion. After the two hour, four-course meal, we were ready to head out.

After Martin signed the bill, he spoke, "I will keep in touch, Emma. My assistant, Jack, will contact your agent directly if there are any requirements that are altered or added. If you have any questions, you can call me directly.

"Bass, have a safe flight. I will speak to you soon, son. I have to go to a film screening at Scorsese's house. Drive carefully, you two." We all stood up to leave and with a quick hug, he abruptly left us alone.

"Have a great evening, Mr. Cole. Come and dine with us again, sometime soon," Alyssa called out.

"I will. The food was excellent as always. Thank you," Bass spoke with sincerity and graced Alyssa with his signature smile. I think Alyssa almost died. The love-sick puppy blushed and almost freaked out. Sigh.

Outside, we both handed our tickets to the valet attendant. We waited side-by-side for our cars. _I suppose this is it then._ I thought sickly.

"Will you stay the night with me, Em?" I tensed.

Crap. "Bass, I don't think that would be good for either of us."

He exhaled and looked at the passing traffic. "I know it isn't, but I'm asking anyway. I won't be seeing you until Greece. That's months from now. I just want to spend time with you."

"But Greece is _months_ from now. I thought we'd stay friends?" Was he planning to just drop and un-friend me?

"I know and we will." Bass's azure gaze captured my eyes. It was hard to tear them away from the beautiful depths of his. "I choose not to see you until Greece because it will take a long time for me to get over you and the fact that I've been rejected for the very first time. What's bruised my psyche is that _you_ were the first woman I wanted to have a real relationship with. I just want this night with you, Em. That's all I ask. If it's too much, I'll understand."

I stared at him with my arms folded, my lips pressed together and my foot was tapping. I was in deep shit. I didn't know how I could do that without hurting anyone. Carter would go apeshit if he learned that I had decided to stay the night with Bass. Did I want to spend time with Bass? _Yes_ , very much so. I was going to miss him when he left.

"Give me just a second. I need to make a quick call." With my phone in hand, I stepped a few yards away from him. Lindsey picked up on the first ring. Thank God! "I have a mammoth-sized problem."

"Spill."

I groaned before I spoke. I hated to be in that position. I wanted to kick something and hyperventilate at the same time. "Bass wants to spend time with me tonight. _Do you think I should?_ Carter will lose his shit if he ever found out!"

"Well, are you planning on screwing each other tonight?"

"No, Lindsey. Bass hasn't even managed to kiss me. He just wants to hang out and do the usual stuff we do, I suppose."

"Good, because if that was the case, I don't want any part of it. I might not like my brother for you, but he _is_ my brother and I don't want him hurt. Now that we've cleared that up, why don't you tell Carter that you're visiting your parents and you're staying the night with them? It's the best excuse."

It was a perfect excuse. "You're the best, Lindsey. I'll call you soon, okay?"

"Please do and please, please don't do anything that isn't PG-13, got it? Now, go be a good girl."

"Will do. Bye, doll."

Next call, Carter. I wasn't really a big fan of lying, _really_ I wasn't, but this was a special circumstance—selfish as it was. I didn't know why I had the need to spend the night with Bass, but I felt like we owed it to each other. Sort of like an ending to the little 'something' we had. Only it wasn't a _little_ something. It was much more than that, but I wasn't ready to look beyond the surface and dig deeper. Chicken? Just a tad. I feared what I would find if I _did_.

"Carter, hey," I greeted him as he came on the other line.

"Are you on your way home, babe? Is it going to be my place or yours tonight?" Carter happily asked.

Yeah, about that...

"I'm driving to see my parents tonight. My aunt is in town and I want to visit with her and my baby cousin." I _was_ going to my parents' house, I tried to rationalize.

"Oh. Sure, no prob. I want to take you out to dinner."

"Yeah, that would be nice. I'll see you tomorrow, Carter."

"Love you, Emma."

"Yeah, me, too."

I cut off the call before he had the chance to question me. I didn't know what was going on either. I did love Carter, didn't I? I just couldn't bring myself to say I loved him when Bass was so close to me.

Turning around, I walked towards Bass who was leaning against my car, waiting and watching every move I made. The valet attendant waited for me to finish my call before he handed me my keys. I graciously thanked him as I gave him a tip.

"I'm all set. I'll follow you to your house."

He shook his head. "That won't do. You have to ride with me. I'm not letting you out of my sight. I will have someone pick your car up and drive it back to my place." Bass held out his hand. "Your keys?" Okay, that was workable and made total sense.

I handed him my car keys as he guided me towards his car. Bass called Lou, his driver, to pick up my car, giving him the location of the restaurant and instructing him to drive it back to his house and leave the keys on the table in his entry hall.

The ride back to his house was silent. Bass's usual happy demeanor, that I was so accustomed to, didn't surface. He was rather quiet and serious and didn't bother with small talk. I supposed we were so engrossed in our own conflicted thoughts.

Once we got to Hollywood Hills, I started to fidget. What the hell was I doing? Carter would kill me. At the same time, though, I felt like Bass and I had unfinished business... but to what extent? That was the million dollar question I had yet to find an answer to.

# Chapter 22

"A desire arises in the mind. It is satisfied immediately another comes. In the interval which separates two desires a perfect calm reigns in the mind. It is at this moment freed from all thought, love or hate. Complete peace equally reigns between two mental waves."

~Swami Sivananda

Do you want anything to drink?" Bass asked as he strolled towards the kitchen.

My feet shifted as I held my clutch in both hands. "Water would be great, thank you."

Bass cocked his head towards me. "Do you want wine as well?"

_Shit_. _Did I really need alcohol right now?_ _In a sense_ , yes. I was nervous and I didn't know why. I had been to his house before and both times, nothing crazy really happened. I guess the only thing that I should have been worried about was _me_ because Bass was making me think of things that I shouldn't have been thinking about.

"Um, sure that would be lovely."

Bass gave me a dimpled, lazy smile. "Right away."

Oh, geez. That smile of his...

The silence was short lived because Bass's cell phone started ringing. "Yep?" he answered as he pulled a bottle opener from a drawer and slid it closed. His teeth bit his bottom lip as he concentrated on opening the wine bottle while he was listening to the person yapping in his ear. "I might check it out. Yes, _might_. Gotcha. Bye."

I moved towards the marbled counter and sat across from him. He was still biting his bottom lip when he looked at me. _Smolder overdose anyone?_

"There's a promotional bash at a club tonight. Do you want to come and party for a little bit with some of my friends?"

_Should I?_ "Will there be paparazzi lurking around?" Yeah, I had to ask. I would be put through the meat grinder tomorrow if Carter found out or _anyone_ from school, for that matter.

"Yes, they are always around, especially at hot spots, but we can go through the back door and no one will know that you've been partying with me."

"It's nothing personal, Bass. _I just..._ " Don't want Carter to know... _for now_. Carter didn't even know about the movie yet. I'd tell him after I told my parents tomorrow, most definitely.

Bass poured us a glass of wine and slid mine carefully towards me. "Carter; got it."

I opened my mouth to deny it, but ended up shutting it and instead, decided to swirl my wine glass before I took a small sip.

"What's the verdict?" he asked, raking a hand through his dark blond hair, making it look all hot and sexy.

"Yeah, I could do with some dancing."

"Awesome! Let me just get a quick shower then we'll head out, is that cool?" Bass asked and drained his entire glass, looking sexy as sin.

I licked my lips and blushed. Without looking him in the eye, I responded, "Yes, sounds great." Why, oh why, does Bass fucking Cole make me think of sex when he's drinking wine? It was disturbing.

Bass was off to shower and I was left alone with my thoughts... and they were full of IF's. Ugh!

Taking my wine with me, I strolled towards the patio and stared at the bright lights of the City of Angels. Tonight... tonight felt different with Bass. I supposed it was because I was with Carter now and it made things feel even more... not weird... _constricted_ , perhaps, leaning __ towards restricted. I think it was because during the short time with Bass, he infiltrated my inner being. Bass had made his mark; he had marked me without me even noticing it. He was rooted somewhere deep inside and I didn't know if I could erase the stamp he had made.

I felt wretched and cut open. I mean, here I was, restarting my relationship with Carter and yet Bass was hounding my thoughts. I didn't know if I was so blinded with the realization that I fell in love with Carter that I didn't really see _or_ realize what was really going on before me with Bass.

After ten minutes, I heard him say, "Ready?"

I turned around and found Bass standing next to the sliding patio glass door. His hair was still wet, but what really caught me was how the plain white shirt and washed out jeans made him look like a hot, smoking, rock god. I felt my nipples tighten at the very sight of him. I was in so much trouble!

"I know, I look too plain for a club, but I really don't feel like dressing up and all that."

Uh, the prepped up Bass looked sexy, but the laid back all-American look was just downright yummy! _I'll take both please!_

I was bothered that my thoughts were bordering on cheating. Was it _really_ cheating fantasizing about Bass instead of Carter? A little, perhaps?

"Let me just grab my clutch then I'm all set to go," I muttered.

As I walked past him, my senses went into hysterics as I got a whiff of that shower gel he used. I almost stopped, _almost_. I just wanted to drown in that sexy fucking smell. I was such a basket case. How the hell was I going to get through the rest of the night if I all I could think about was Bass fucking Cole?

Once I got to the barstool where my clutch sat, I stared at it while my thoughts rampaged on. I was seriously losing it...

I almost moaned when Bass touched the side of my hip and asked, "Everything okay, Em?"

_NO! It's not okay. My body seems to be wired with a crazy amount of sexual energy and all I can think about is fucking you until I can't take it anymore! No, nothing is okay._

"Yes, let's go."

"Emma, how is Bass in the sack?" the hot brunette asked me, giggling.

I thought she was dating Bass's friend, Stan... Stud... _Stew?_ Meh, I didn't remember. Bass had introduced me to a lot of people at the club and I hadn't managed to remember any of their names.

"I heard he's a beast! I heard Sheila's friend, Masie, actually spent a night with him at some hotel. She said Bass fucked Masie four times in one night. I'm so jealous of you, Emma," the blonde, honey-eyed chick said.

"Yeah, he surely is a beast," I giggled back. _Here I go, lying again._ I found that there was no point in trying to rationalize with these women when I arrived with Bass earlier. It seemed that in Hollywood, once a woman arrives—or is seen—with a famous actor anywhere, it's a given that they're sexing it up.

So, in my champagne/tequila/vodka muddled head, I was _owning_ Bass.

These girls that were introduced to me by Bass were fun—a dum-dum kind of fun. All they talked about was Hollywood, plastic surgery, gossip and hot men. In my semi-coherent state, I didn't remember their names and yet, I had been hanging out with them for two hours or so. I just called them—in my head—the pretty blonde, hot brunette, so-so redhead and goldilocks.

My gurgling laughter died when my eyes darted across the club and saw a girl trying to get Bass's attention. I didn't think twice before I got up. I excused myself and marched over to them. The woman looked like some hot vamped up Latina. She was drop dead gorgeous. I fumed and stepped right in between them.

"Emma," Bass uttered, a little surprised that I was being bold towards him.

"Dance with me, Bass," I ordered and grabbed his hand.

The vamped up woman pulled my hand away from holding Bass's.

Nah, uh. She. Did. Not. Just. Do. That! "Bitch! Back the fuck off! He's mine!"

The stupid bitch smiled. "No, he's not. He's single. I know this because we hooked up last night."The stupid bitch looked smug as hell when she saw how her words affected me.

Stupid bitch can go fuck herself! "Choose, Bass. It's her _or_ me." I started tapping my foot as I simmered some more. _What if Bass chooses her?_ Ah, fuck. I didn't think that far ahead!

Before Bass could answer, the stupid bitch spoke, "Who the hell are you? Are you like some random psycho who wants to get it on with an actor? I think you should start with the Z-list ones and not head straight, like a piranha, to the A-listers."

I was about to retaliate when Bass pulled me towards the dance floor, but before he did, he managed to holler at the stupid bitch, "Don't ever talk to me again, Cassandra. Emma is _not_ on any alphabetical list. She is on _The_ _List_."

Bass took me to the other side of the dance floor and shoved me up against the wall. I knew the music was thumping, but I had no clue what song was on and I was oblivious of the people around us. The dance floor was packed, but all I noticed was Bass's searing, blistering gaze.

"I think you should stop with the Mojitos, Emma. You're clearly wasted already."

I sneered. Yes, I certainly was. "Well, if you weren't busy flirting with all the women here, I wouldn't have made a scene."

He leaned closer, both hands on the sides of my head, as he whispered in my ear, "You're off limits, Emma. You made it that way." His hot breath made me shiver. I closed my eyes and devoured his scrumptious aroma.

God, help me. I didn't know anymore.

Bass pressed his hot body against mine, his heart beating erratically. I moved closer and nestled my nose on his neck. My nose slid up and down and I felt him shiver. Since I was going crazy, I went even further. I stuck out the tip of my tongue and licked the base of his neck, stopping in the middle and biting into it while my hand went inside his shirt and clawed his back, wanting him closer.

"Emma... you're killing me here," Bass spoke in between hissing and moaning.

"How do you like it, Bass? Hard and rough? Nice and slow? Or fast and delirious?" I whispered against his ear.

Yep! I was way past drunk. I was ludicrous.

Bass groaned as he pushed his hardened state between my hips. "I want you... I want all of you. I want your hot body on my bed, wide open and ready. Your cunt will be annihilated. Your sweet, little pussy will be destroyed and I will not stop until it is ravaged and weeping with wetness... and you screaming for me to stop because you can't take anymore."

Need I say that my silk thong was soaked? Need I say that I was going bat-shit crazy with horniness?

"Bass, I want you."

Bass pulled a bit away from me, our bodies still connected, while his eyes pierced mine. His magnetic eyes darkened as he saw my overtly wanton face. "Be with me, Emma. Just say the word and I'm yours."

"I don't know if I can." I loved Carter, but with Bass, __ it was complex and enthralling. It frightened me. I didn't know if I would ever be ready for that kind of terrifying possession.

He bit his bottom lip then looked to his right as he processed what I said. Bass huffed out a deep breath. Composing himself, he gave me a bright smile. "I just had to try one more time, I guess." He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and grabbed my hand. "Come on! Let's go and join our party."

And so we did. The entire time, Bass avoided touching me. When other random girls came up to get a picture with him, he obliged them. When they wanted to dance with him, he gladly went. When they flirted and touched him, he didn't stop them. And so, the jealous bitch that I was—but had no fucking right to be—drank some more delicious Mojitos. I wanted to get drunk and just pass the fuck out. I didn't want to think about Bass anymore. Of course, it was short-lived, but it was worth it.

"Can you manage to get out of the car?" Bass asked me before opening his door. We were back at his house and parked right outside his four-car garage.

I just groaned. "Sure," I slurred. "I'm a pro. Just you watch." _Well, I haven't been this drunk ever in my life, but sure? Why the hell not? It's only walking, right?_

I opened the door and stepped out and then my head started to spin. _Whoops!_ I leaned over the hood of his sports car and took off my shoes. The engine was hot on my butt and I just wanted to stay there awhile. I laid my body back on top of the hot-hood. _It felt good_ , I sighed satisfyingly. I was drunk, tired, confused and so messed up. I smiled as I closed my eyes. _Yes_ , this definitely felt better.

I heard Bass's footsteps as he stopped before me, somewhere close. He cleared his throat, "Em, you can't sleep there. That's not a bed." Bass was clearly amused.

_Whatever, go away!_ "I don't like you right now, _Bass_ -boy, _Bass_ -kill, _Bass_ -hole, _Bass_ -tard!" I mumbled, but cracked a small smile.

Since my legs were slightly parted, Bass swiftly planted himself in between them while both of his hands caressed my legs. Ah, dammit! "I love this drunk you. It's very entertaining."

_Blah, whatever. Just stop touching my legs will you... not?_

I bucked when his hands went higher and his thumbs caressed the inner lining of my thong. Sweet... sweet mother of mercy...

"Can I kiss you?" Bass whispered to me. That certainly made my eyes snap open.

Oh. Hell. No.

...Yes?

Since I didn't have the guts to look at him, I stared at the twinkling stars above me. Possibly asking for my mind back... or forgiveness? I wasn't too sure. "Um, I thought you didn't want to kiss me?"

"Not those lips, Emma."

I lost my ability to breathe.

Did he just ask me... if... _he could go down on me?_

His thumb was now slowly lifting the side bands of my underwear. "Emma..." Hearing my name uttered from Bass's lips with such raw intensity became my undoing. I let out a loud moan when both of his thumbs caressed my soaked mound.

"God, your cunt is drowned in your hot juices," Bass hissed as his thumb slid up and down my folds while the other thumb rubbed my nub.

I bit my lip and whimpered. Imagine my shock when he completely took those sinful thumbs away. I sat up, dazed and confused. My world stopped spinning when I found his eyes. Bass gave me a devilish smile while he traced his thumb on his lips and licked it. I swallowed. _Hell,_ could he be any sexier?

"I want more of those succulent juices, Emma."

Speechless, I stared agog. I stuck out my tongue and licked my suddenly dry lips. I wanted to... God, I wanted to say yes, but I couldn't. Carter.

"You know I can't, Bass."

He grazed his thumb on the tip of my bottom lip. "You're such a sweet temptation. You have just enough mixture of sweetness and feistiness. I can't help wanting you."

"I like you too much, Bass. I feel what you feel, but in a twisted way, my heart is with Carter."

"If Carter is the one that makes you happy, then I wish you all the luck, Emma."

Why did I have the urge to cry? It felt like someone was pressing down on my chest and I was having a hard time breathing.

Out of the blue, Bass plucked me off the hood and carried me towards the house. I was grateful that he did because I didn't have the energy to climb the stairs.

Once we got to his bedroom, he slowly undressed me. "Bass, I don't know about this."

"I won't cop a feel, I promise. I just want you to be comfortable. Is that agreeable to you?" His eyes searched mine and I fought back the urge to capture his lips.

When my dress was finally off me, I forgot to warn him that I didn't have a bra on. The dress didn't need me to wear one since it already had built-in support.

Bass's eyes became dilated and my nipples tightened at his scrutiny. "Bass? Can you hand me a shirt?"

He snapped out of his funk and cleared his throat, mumbling an apology.

Once I was safe in the confines of the large cotton shirt, I slid inside his bed. I was tired and all I wanted to do was sleep. After five minutes of not hearing any commotion, I sat up and found Bass sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed.

Baffled, I got off the bed and moved towards him. "Hey, what's upsetting you?"

Bass shook his head. "I don't think it's wise to sleep next to you. I don't trust myself not to touch you with what little you have on." Well, I knew he wouldn't have sex with me unless I chose him—and only him—so it was irrelevant if he slept in the same bed with me or not.

I tried to pull him up, but didn't succeed. He stood up, held me and we fell on the bed together. He immediately nuzzled my neck in a ticklish way and I started laughing like a little kid. That was all well and good, until his hand skimmed downwards, cupped my ass and squeezed it. I moaned when he softly bit my earlobe. HELL.

"Bass... no..." His hands were drawing close inside my thighs. I wanted him to touch me so bad I felt like I was dying, but I knew it couldn't happen. Not like that. So, I took charge and rolled on top of him. "Let's go to sleep. Playtime's over."

# Chapter 23

"The best and strongest attraction is unspoken...it's that crazy chemistry where you don't have to say a word."

~Author Unknown

Bass nodded and got off the bed. He shifted his pants and from what I could see, he was hard. "I'm going to get us some water. I'll be back."

I sighed dramatically and fell back on the bed. If I thought my life was complicated before, then I had been mistaken. I looked over on the side table to check what time it was—four forty-five. I had to go see my parents before I went back to school.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Bass strolled in with a glass of ice water and handed it to me. He looked mighty serious. I bet he was thinking that I was a major tease, or something along those lines. Or maybe he was thinking... nothing.

"Thanks." I downed half the glass before Bass took it and placed it on his bedside table. Without taking off his clothes, he laid next to me, pulling me to his chest. I heard him huff out a long sigh as he started to stroke my hair. Since I didn't know what to say, I kept my mouth shut... as did he.

After ten minutes or so, he shifted to lay on his side, facing my body. He gathered me in his arms and pulled me close to him again. I could feel his heartbeat vibrating against my chest. I kissed his neck and left my lips and nose there, nicely tucked.

No words were spoken, but we knew what was going on. It was goodbye.

We fell asleep like that, holding each other.

No words were needed.

I woke up an hour later from the uncomfortable position that I was in. When I tried to move away, Bass's arms immediately released me. He was clearly in a deep coma-like rest. After the kind of night we had, I wasn't surprised.

I stared at his sleeping face and felt my heart lurch and constrict. I was one confused woman; loving one man and lusting and caring for another. I wanted to touch his face and caress it, I wanted to kiss those full lips of his and feel their soft warmth, but I didn't. I didn't need another reason to muddy my mind up more.

Sliding off the mattress, I walked towards the foot of the bed where my thong and dress had been abandoned. The once soaked thong was now dry and I was thankful because it would've been uncomfortable to wear and I clearly didn't need another reminder of what I'd been up to all night.

With another lingering glance at Bass, I left his room. Sure enough, my keys were on the foyer table. I was surprised to see my clutch and shoes there, too. Hadn't I left my purse and shoes outside, next to Bass's car last night? He probably went to get them before he came back upstairs.

Putting my shoes on, I silently left his house. I strode towards my waiting car and slid inside. I thanked my lucky stars that Bass had one of those automatic gates that had sensors which only opened for outgoing cars and joined the traffic on 101 Freeway. My thoughts were troubled. I had a long drive to my parents' house and used that time to try and sort out my feelings.

Two hours later, I arrived at my mom and dad's house, sighing with relief when I turned on to my parent's lemon tree-lined, winding driveway. I parked on the opposite side of the house because I didn't plan to stay long. With my keys in hand, I strolled towards the Spanish-styled home. It was ten-thirtyish; my parents would be up and about already.

I was greeted by the smell of pancakes and I followed the odor like a hypnotized person. My stomach growled, loudly.

"Hi, Mom, Dad and Aunt Gem," I greeted the trio who were about to eat by the looks of it.

My parents looked at me oddly. _What?_

"Where did you come from? Why are you all dolled up?" my mom asked with a worried expression on her face.

_Oh, that!_ I forgot I was dressed in my clothes from last night. "Yeah, about that, that's what I came here to talk about." I did wear this get-up to meet with Martin last night, so it was kind of connected.

"You look stunning, darling." Aunt Gemma came over and gave me a quick hug and then pulled me towards the table and made me sit.

"Where's baby Joey?" I asked as my parents joined Aunt Gemma and me at the table.

"He's in school, dear," Aunt Gem responded before she took a bite of her pancakes.

"Spill it now, Em. The suspense is killing us." Mom pressed her lips together as she stared at me, waiting.

"I got offered to star in a movie by Martin Lombardo."

"You're going to be an actress, Emma?" Aunt Gemma asked with a big smile.

After a few silent moments, both Mom and Dad cackled like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. I looked at both of them, baffled. Okay... were they laughing at me? Did they think I was joking?

When they both finished, Mom and Dad wiped their eyes. Laughing tears, great.

Dad spoke first, "And here we were thinking you were going to tell us you were pregnant or something." My dad pulled me close and kissed my head. "You're going to do great, kiddo. How did you manage to nab this role? You didn't mention you were planning to be an actress."

"Well, I wasn't. The role was handed to me on a silver platter and I couldn't pass it up. I really do think this is it for me. To be an actress, I mean."

Mom squeezed me tight. "I'm so proud of you, kiddo. Now, what's the storyline about? A Lombardo film you said? I bet it will easily get an Oscar, don't you think so, honey?" She looked towards my father and he gave her a great, big smile. It was clear that they were still in love.

"It's about a married woman who cheats on her husband. When the husband finds out, he beats his wife up. When her lover sees her bruised, cut-up body, he kills the husband. The lover straps the dead body on the hook of a speed boat and dumps him in the Atlantic Ocean where he's fed to the sharks.

It was much more than that, but I gave them a quick summary. "Wow, that's a pretty gritty storyline," Mom said as she took a quick sip of her coffee.

"Yes, it is, but a bit on the erotic side, too." That got their attention.

"What's your role?" Dad inquired with a frown. I felt sorry for him before I blurted out my answer.

"I'm going to be Angela, the wife."

My dad got up and started to pace. "You mean, you'll be naked? In a movie, where all of our friends and family can see you? _The rest of the world will see my baby naked?_"

My dad was starting to turn red. Thank God my mom stepped in. "Sit your ass down, Seth. We have to discuss this as a family." Mom composed herself and Dad went back to his seat and simmered like a little kid. "Emma, we understand that you want to become an actress. Ever since you were little, you always loved to act and would put on little plays for us with your Barbies. Don't get me wrong, I think this is a great opportunity for you, but at the same time, do you want to risk your self-preservation and morality for a film that will possibly pay you a hundred grand or so? Think long and hard about this, once this is filmed, it will be out there forever. Your kids will see it. Your children's children will see it. Do you want to be haunted by that?"

"I do get your point, Mom. Trust me, I do, but this is what I want. For the past couple of years, I have been drifting along, not knowing what I wanted to do in life. I didn't think acting was possible for me. I hadn't even thought about it since I graduated high school, but now, since this has practically landed in my lap, I will not be discouraged from doing it. I want to do it. I already signed the contract last week and they're not paying me a hundred grand, Mom. They're paying me one million dollars."

"God, help me! My daughter becomes a movie star and I can't even brag about it to my friends, let alone watch it," my dad muttered under his breath. I really felt bad for my dad.

I got up and hugged him from behind the chair. "I'm sorry, Dad, but you have to understand. I want this. I'm a big girl; I can handle it."

My mom leaned back and slightly shook her head like she was trying to digest everything I just spouted out at them. "Well, as much as we don't want you to do this film, we'll support you in any way we can. Wow! Our daughter's a millionaire and she's not even twenty-one."

My Aunt Gem got up and congratulated me, "You're going to be a beautiful actress, Emma. You have a beautiful heart and a beautiful face. The world is going to love you! I just know it."

Although I doubted that the _whole_ world would like my acting or that they would all love me, I thanked her all the same. What mattered was that she meant it.

"When do you start filming?" Dad inquired as he started to eat.

"May; and it's going to be filmed in Greece."

"Good, then you still have time to prepare," Mom murmured.

"Yeah, enough time for my kiddo to think it through and back out of the movie," my father added and he meant it, too. Not happening, Dad.

Aunt Gem stepped in, "Oh, stop it. This is a great thing for our little, Emma. Stop ruining her mood."

When I glanced at the time and saw that it was about to hit noon, I decided to get moving.

"I have to go. I have class later this afternoon. I'll call you guys soon, okay? I want to see little Joey." I grabbed my coffee and finished it in one gulp.

Mom and Dad stood up and hugged me. "We'll see you soon. Congratulations, baby!" Mom kissed me on the cheek while Dad kissed my forehead.

"Drive carefully, will you? I think I've had enough shock to last me a lifetime," Dad mumbled.

"Always, Dad." I gave a quick goodbye to my aunt and waved at them. "Love you lots," I yelled before leaving the kitchen and going out the front door.

Turning on the engine, my mood started to sink at the thought of seeing Carter. _One down, one to go._

# Chapter 24

"If you fell down yesterday, stand up today."

~H.G. Wells

The moment I parked my car, I fished out my phone and texted Carter.

Me: _Hey. I just got back in town. Can you come over?_

It beeped after a minute.

Carter: _Be there soon, babe._

Fuck! I didn't even know how to break it to him. We just got back together.

I cared for Bass and the thought of the intimate moments that I shared with him, saddened me because I would never have those moments with him again. I supposed we really needed last night to get closure.

Since Carter would be here any second, I got out of my car and went inside the dorm. Lindsey wasn't home and I was relieved. I didn't need a witness when Carter had a meltdown and lost his shit.

In my room, I fought the urge to shower and instead, changed into my jean short-shorts and a loose, baby blue cotton shirt. I didn't want to prolong any of this and have Carter waiting on me. This confrontation needed to be dealt with as soon as possible. I couldn't tiptoe around the subject. I made a choice and I had to stand by it.

I looked up when I heard the door unlock.

"Em?"

"I'm in here," I called out. I was on edge and a little jittery to boot.

_Here we go..._

Carter came through the door and immediately gave me a huge smile when he saw me. "I missed you!"

"I need to tell you something important," I started as I eyed him. Carter instantly tensed and his handsome face contorted.

"What's it about?" Carter whispered as he stared back at me, apprehensive.

Shit. "Something happened with Bass last night..." I didn't even get the chance to finish before Carter started pacing.

"Define 'happened' Emma? You had sex with him, is that it?"

"No. I stayed with him last night, nothing really happened except his hand lingering a bit longer on certain areas." And how I really wanted to succumb to him and try to get him out of my system I thought to myself.

Carter stopped pacing and sat back down again. His hurt face tugged at something inside me. "Bass didn't fuck you?"

_Isn't that what I just said?_ That's what I got for being whorebag- _ish_. Nope, Bass and I didn't have sex, but I was tempted. "No, it wasn't like that," I murmured, not meeting his eye.

Carter ran both of his hands through his hair. "I'm hurt that you lied about going to sleep at your parents' house, Em. _How could you do this?_ We just barely got back together."

I didn't know. I honestly didn't know why I did the things I did with Bass. Another Emma emerged—frivolous, spontaneous, alive and uninhibited. With all my heart, I wanted so badly to say that I was sorry for doing it, but I would be lying to Carter if I apologized for something I didn't regret doing. "Maybe it's because we got back together too quickly? Maybe I didn't see it coming and I'm still trying to place my feelings in order? I met Bass right after you. I got to spend time with him, Carter. Somehow, someway, he got through to me."

Carter groaned. "So, you're back with him? You wanted me to drop by today because you're breaking it off? I can't believe this!"

"I'm not with Bass. Last night was a one-time thing. I don't think I will be hearing from him again." _Not for a while_ , I think. He'll be too busy filming a movie during the day and having a beautiful stunning angel in his arms at night.

Carter lied across my bed, both hands on his face. "Carter, I didn't mean to lead you on or anything. I meant it when I said I loved you. It's just that, I'm as confused as ever. I didn't mean for us to end this way. I honestly didn't." I did love Carter, I _still_ did, _but was it as consuming as before?_ No, Bass chipped a bit of that off.

Carter huffed out a lungful of air and sat up, looking me directly in the eye. "I don't want to break up with you, Em. I hate what you did, but I don't think I can survive without you again. I had a taste of that and I sure as hell don't want you to go back to that man. Take as much time as you need to figure things out in your head, I'll still want to be with you. I love you and as badly as I want to think that you're perfect, you're human and, by nature, you're going to make mistakes."

What? "You _still_ want me after what I did?" I stared at him flabbergasted. Who the hell was this man? The old Carter would have stomped around and thrown a massive tantrum the entire campus would have witnessed. The Carter before me was someone I had yet to get to know.

"I love you, Em," he croaked as he softly touched the side of my face. "We'll be okay. We're just hitting some rough patches because I totally messed up before by not taking my time with you, but now that we've cleared that up, we can start anew."

Could we? Could Carter and I move past this hurdle? I supposed I wouldn't know if I didn't give it a try.

"Maybe you're right. We can start fresh from here on," I agreed.

_A few weeks later..._

Carter was throwing a Halloween party tonight at his house. We ended up being Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swan from _Pirates of the Caribbean_.

We smiled like idiots when we checked each other out. My costume was on the sexy side, showing my belly button. Carter even had the whole dark eye-liner thing going. He took being Jack Sparrow quite seriously.

"My, can I be your captive, Captain Jack?"

Carter, I mean, Jack Sparrow gave me a chaste kiss and smiled, showing his toothy pirate smile. "Anything for my Miss Swan."

The party was wild and crazy–nothing unusual about a Carter Mason party and Carter and I were stuck like glue the whole time. We danced, we laughed and we made out like no one's business. It didn't take long for me to get sucked back into Carter's world. Every time my thoughts drifted back to Bass, I immediately shut them down and shoved them somewhere in the back of my mind. I didn't want to jeopardize anything with Carter. I really wanted us to work out.

I was happy. Carter made me very happy.

When Thanksgiving rolled in, we spent it with my family. He was the second guy I brought home to meet my parents. Though Mom was very sweet and accommodating, my father, on the other hand, was a total pain.

"Tell me, Carter, how many women have you had sex with?" My father asked in a serious manner during dinner before he popped a carrot in his mouth and chewed it leisurely.

Of course, the entire table, including my aunt and baby nephew, got quiet. Baby Joey, though oblivious as to what the question meant, knew it was serious. Dad hadn't acted like this when he met Lewis. I didn't understand the third-degree with Carter.

Mom warned Dad, but it was to no avail. Dad stood his ground while he waited for Carter to respond. He eyed Carter with heavy scrutiny.

"Dad, can you at least act civilized. You're being too invasive," I hissed at him.

Carter turned red.

I figured that Carter might have a guesstimate, but not the exact digits.

I tensed when I heard Carter clear his throat. WTF? Was he really planning to answer that? How could he even manage to without getting his head chopped off?

"I can honestly tell you, sir, that I do not know the answer to that question, but what I can tell you, with great frankness and confidence, is that since Emma came into my life, I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. If you had asked me how many women I have loved in my life, it wouldn't have taken me long to answer. I have only ever loved one and that is your daughter." Oh, shit. I loved him even more in that moment.

After a minute of silence, my father beamed. "It's ironic. I gave Emma's grandfather a similar answer when he asked me the same question. You are welcome in our home as long as you treat my only daughter well. Don't make me regret this, Carter."

"Thank you, sir. I promise that I won't."

With that, Carter was welcomed into my family and was in my father's good graces. Carter even accepted his invitation to spend Christmas Eve with us. I felt even more confident about our relationship—it was getting stronger by the day.

When we drove back to his house, I decided that tonight, I was going to tell him about the Lombardo film. I just hoped that he would take it lightly and be happy for me.

Changed and ready for bed, Carter gathered me in his arms and started kissing me.

"Carter?" I asked, breaking off our kiss.

I looked at him while he waited for me to speak. "I have to tell you something important... something that I'm really excited about. I want you to have an open mind and let me finish talking before you say anything, okay?"

I waited for him to nod before I continued, "I got chosen to be the lead actress of a movie alongside Bass. It won't start filming until May, in Greece. I'm not sure if I've ever told you, but I used to be in drama in high school and I loved it. I still love it. This unbelievable opportunity could start my career if everything turns out well."

Carter let go of me and stared at the ceiling, his usual demeanor when he was deep in thought. After a few seconds of him not muttering anything, I touched his arm.

"Carter, say something?"

"I'm happy for you, Em. I really am, but concerning you working with Bass? Not so much. He wants you. I don't know if he'll stop the next time. Right now, I'm thinking that he's probably waiting for the right opportunity to draw you in. I know men like him quite well because I was one."

No, Bass and I were through. I hadn't even heard from him. From what I could gather from the media, he was busy living his life, partying and playing hard on a field of vaginas.

"That phase with Bass is done, Carter. You have nothing to worry about. I'm with you now and we're doing _so_ great, _you're being so great_ and you make me very happy. I can't help but love you a little more each day."

He turned on his side and cupped my cheek. His eyes spoke volumes and it didn't take a second for me to succumb to his will. His love rolled over me with his kisses, his touch and his mastery.

Carter showed me his universe that night as he slowly made love to me.

# Chapter 25

"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion."

~Javan

I got to spend Christmas day with Lindsey and Carter at their aunt and uncle's house in Montecito. It would be my first time meeting them and I had all these bad scenarios playing in my head. I thought Carter didn't speak about them much because, you know, they were awful or something.

I was wrong. They were a lovely couple and it was obvious how much they loved Lindsey and Carter, so I didn't get why Carter was being so indifferent about his Aunt Alice and Uncle Gary's affection.

After lunch, Carter immediately excused us when Alice suggested going out to see a movie. I wanted to go, but Carter didn't even give me the option. So, when Lindsey, Alice and Gary left for the movie theatre, I was determined to get answers.

He dragged me up to his bedroom. His home was enormous. Duh, Em? _It's Montecito?_ He's probably neighbors with Oprah.

"Why did your aunt and uncle buy such a large house when there's only the four of you?" I wondered out loud.

"They already bought the house before we moved in. They hoped to have their own children, but after a few years of trying, they gave up. They loved this house too much to let it go. They were happy to raise Lindsey and I after our parents died. I guess in the end, they got what they wanted."

That was a little twisted to even consider. Gary seemed like a well-rounded guy and losing his brother in such a tragedy was a lot to take in. "That's a little weird to say, Carter. You make it sound like they're happy that your parents are dead—that they got an instant family through their deaths."

"Whatever."

_Right whatever, Carter. You spout words that have a lot of hidden meanings and I should just shove them aside and ignore them._

"Here's my bedroom," Carter murmured as he opened the dark oak door.

The 'bedroom' was twice the size of our dorm room. It was themed in dark nautical colors against white walls. Carter's trophies and achievements were lined up on top of a mirrored shelf. I walked towards it and scrutinized each trophy. I knew Carter was great, but I didn't really know to what extent. His trophies started in little league and I smiled thinking about a little Carter in the field with mud smeared all over him.

"What are you smiling about?" Carter asked against my ear as he pulled me against his chest.

"A little league Carter Mason."

Carter sucked on my earlobe and I moaned against him. He hastily lifted my dress up, pulled my stockings down, reached inside my thong and started rubbing my core. "How about you think about the big league Carter Mason, hmm?" he whispered erotically in my ear.

With my head on the right side of his chest, I reached around and pulled his lips toward mine. I shivered when he kissed me like it was the very first time while his fingers did their job, killing me softly.

Carter started pulling us towards his bed as we fervently kissed, at the same time hastily taking our clothes off. He broke our kiss and pushed me down onto the bed, naked. My hair was all over the place, but I didn't care because Carter was eyeing me with terrifying hunger. He stood tall and naked before me and I indulged my overeager eyes.

"I just want to picture you like this forever in my mind... on my bed... looking more beautiful than the first time I saw you." Carter moved silently towards me, eyes full of admiration and determination.

"Stop," I commanded and pushed him down on the bed. "Now, it's my turn to have a good memory of you on your bed." I gently stroked his pecs, my hands sliding down south. He gasped when my hand reached the base of his penis.

My mouth hovered around the tip of his shaft while I gazed at him through my lashes. "Do you want a hard suctioned vacuum with a side of teabag action? _Or,_ a wet, sloppy, nasty deep throat with a side of tongue action?" I batted my eyelashes, staring at him innocently.

Carter gave me a wicked smile, "Thank you, God, for answering my prayers and granting me the perfect woman!" He reached down and stroked his hard cock a few times before speaking, "Give me the nasty works, Emma."

The nasty, you say? "Sure, but with one condition, do not ever, _ever_ touch my head and push it down, _comprende?_ " I raised my brow at the beaming man.

"See this?" Carter held out his hands and placed them underneath his head and smiled. "I will never dare touch a strand of your beautiful blonde hair, my Emma."

"Good, then we have a deal." I wetted my lips before lowering my mouth slowly on the head of his shaft. I stuck my tongue out and licked around it in slow, rhythmic circles to prepare it before I went down any further.

"Fuck, baby!" Carter hissed with obvious ecstasy.

If there was one thing Carter loved more than sex, it was getting a blowjob; soccer following as a close third.

Once I finally managed to fill my mouth with half his length, I still had more to cover, so I had to concentrate. Closing my eyes, I evened my breathing and relaxed my throat muscles before I pushed down further until the throbbing head of his cock hit the back of my throat. Hollowing my cheeks, I suctioned his hard length until the pressure made him delirious. Carter bucked his hips when I shook my head and stuck my tongue out, swirling it around as I moved upwards until it hit the slit on the head of his drooling shaft.

After six more times in quick succession, I grabbed his cock with my right hand to stroke him and lowered my mouth to lick his balls. The soft wrinkles felt smooth against my tongue. Using only my lips, I tugged it before I took his balls inside my wet mouth. Sucking them together, I used my tongue to flip the two, hard, rounded goodies inside, exchanging their positions, then back again while my strokes on his cock got fevered.

"Emma!" Carter hissed, his neck veins popping, his body tensed and knotted.

I released his well-exercised scrotum with a popping sound. "Not yet, Carter."

Swiftly, Carter had me on my back and jammed his cock inside me without warning. My insides clenched at his sudden invasion. "Emma, I want to feel your cunt flow like a damn fountain," Carter demanded as he pressed his heavy hand on my abdomen, grinding his cock down, hitting my upper vaginal wall while his thumb rubbed and teased the essence of my core.

I tried to bite back my screams, but it was pointless. His strong, determined thrusts became manically fast, making me tense and clench harder.

"Squeeze around my cock tighter, baby. Fuck! You're incredible!" Carter barked out as our bodies prepared for our release. "Let go, Emma!"

I screamed when my orgasm rocked me. Carter muffled my cries, covering my lips with his as he, too, found his release. "Emma!" he shouted as I felt his semen spurt and his cock pulsated fluidly inside me. He pushed his hips against me a few more times, milking out his seed to the very last drop.

We passionately kissed and then Carter broke it off, panting. Shifting his face away from me, he spoke. "I love you, Emma, with everything that I am." Carter moved to my side and gathered me close.

Kissing his chest, I murmured, exhausted, "I love you, too, Carter."

We held onto each other until we fell asleep.

I remembered thinking how lucky I was to have the man I loved finally loving me back.

_Three weeks later..._

"What's wrong? Why do you look all sad and depressed?" Carter nudged me and pinched my cheeks.

Should I or should I not? Oh well! Best get a move on. "I'm a few days late, Carter." He immediately tensed. His playful manner vanished in an instant.

"You're pregnant?" He said it in such a frightening whispered tone, as if I had planned it or something. Uh, hell to the mother fucking no!

I shrugged. "I don't know yet. I was hoping you could come with me to get a pregnancy kit at CVS or somewhere. Then we can head back here and do the test together."

"I'm not ready to be a father, Em. Hell, I'm not ready for any of that shit. What the fuck! I didn't ask for this!"

His stupid answer made me fume. "You think I want this? I have a future I was looking forward to and now that could be taken away from me."

I never failed to take my birth control. If there was something I was meticulous at, it was taking my pills religiously. I supposed it happened when I got sick and had to take antibiotics for a few days. When I felt the chills, I immediately bought medicine. I guessed that was the culprit that messed up my cycle.

Carter held my face and spoke sincerely, "We could have it aborted. We can get rid of it."

Okay, I wasn't going to deny that that thought hadn't crossed my mind, but I didn't consider ever going through with it. However, now that Carter was all for it, I started to see him in a different light. And boy, it didn't look good on him.

"We're not even there yet. We have to see if I am before you start plotting the demise of your child." I got up and strolled towards where my purse was located and grabbed it. "Are you coming with me to go get the test or what?"

Carter looked more stressed out than I did. He simply nodded and followed me outside.

Twenty minutes later, we were back at the dorms. Carter pulled the kit out of the plastic bag and stared at it. "Do you just pee on it? Just like that?"

"Yes, that's what the instructions say, right?" I asked him, annoyed. He was getting on my nerves. I walked towards him, grabbed the damn kit away from him and went to my bathroom. _Next time, Emma, when you get sick, steer away from having sex. PERIOD._ Abstinence is the key.

After following the instructions, I carefully placed the test on the sink and stared at it until the three minutes were up. _If I was pregnant, did I want Carter to be the father of my child?_

After three minutes, words surfaced on the tiny oval screen. _Not Pregnant._ The relief I felt was astounding. Definitely no sexy time for me for a very, _very l_ ong while!

When I pulled the door open, Carter was standing against the wall with his eyes closed. "I'm not pregnant," I told him.

His eyes finally snapped open. "Fuck! _Thank you, God_!" he thundered, a tiny smile forming on his face. Then he became somber again. "Listen, Em, I have to go. I need to clear my head. I need to just drink a beer or two. I'll call you." Before I could even manage to respond, he left my room.

I stared at the empty doorway. I was shocked and saddened by his abrupt departure. _Okay_ , I expected him to be freaking out and stuff, but not leaving me here all alone after all that upheaval!

Boyfriends were pointless!

Since it was around four in the afternoon, Trista and Lindsey were still in school. Bored, I channel surfed. I stopped when I found Bass Cole's picture on the E! News channel.

" _Bass Cole getting his dirty business done on a hotel balcony with Lydia Cornwell?_ Look at the image and see for yourself!" The male host went on while the images flashed on the screen.

The picture showed him sitting on a hotel balcony, his head thrown back while a head bobbed in between his legs. It didn't take a genius to figure that shit out. Bass was clearly in seventh heaven while the woman was sucking him dry. I pressed pause and stared at it for a long time, ingraining the image of him in my mind. I hadn't heard from him, but I wasn't going to lie and say that I hadn't been tempted a few times to just pick up my phone and call him or send a text saying hello.

My eyes glanced back at the photo and I suddenly felt sick. _Bass Cole, I miss you. I wish you were here to soothe and calm me like you used to do._

It didn't take him long to find a girl after what happened with us on our last night together. Did he even remember me? I was sure after the endless list of women, things could get muddy. I mean, how many Brookes, Shannons and Emmas in the world had he hooked up with? Could he still remember? I was just one of many. The thought made me even more depressed.

Feeling blue, I strode back to my room after I turned the damned television off. The thought of Bass on that hotel balcony made me want to hurl. Curled up and feeling lonelier than ever, I willed myself not to shed a tear. Surely this loneliness was the outcome of the pregnancy scare and Carter's immediate take off?

Would Bass have reacted like Carter did? I told myself that Bass would, but somewhere, deep down, I knew that Bass would've acted differently.

Thinking about Bass wouldn't help anything. It was best that I shove my thoughts of him somewhere in the back of my mind.

I closed my eyes and kept them closed until I fell asleep.

It was his voicemail again. _"Stop bugging me. Thanks!"_

That was my fifteenth call to Carter that went straight to voicemail. I sent a few text messages and, _they, too,_ went unanswered.

Where was he? Was he mad at me? More than twenty-four hours had passed since the false alarm and I still hadn't heard from him.

A knock on the door made me look up and I found a smiling Lindsey. "Are you sure you don't want to go and party with us on Main Street?"

Positive. "No, I'm good."

Before she left I asked, "Do you know where your brother is? I can't reach him."

"I think Brody mentioned that they'd be at Amanda's house party. See you later, Emma!"

"Laters, Linds," I murmured once she closed the door.

So, Carter was out and about, partying, while I stared at the ceiling. Well, that would have to change. He couldn't just leave and not speak to me again after the pregnancy fiasco yesterday.

In haste, I grabbed the first skinny jeans I saw and fetched my nude leather jacket. I checked Facebook because I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure that her party would be blasted all over our common friends' pages and I was right; people from our campus were going to her shindig. After tying my lace booties on, I headed out the door. I'd been to Amanda's house once or twice and I luckily remembered where it was.

Amanda's house was a massive sprawling mansion in Carpinteria. Her parents were apparently well connected to politicians and they held a lot of shares in one of the most popular hotel chains in the country. Once her palace came into view, I had to park a bit further down the road since it was jammed with cars. I got out of the car and walked towards the house. I wondered how she could pull off having a party this loud in this type of neighborhood. I shook my head when I saw a girl puking her guts out on the pavement with her friends trying to soothe her.

As expected, the house was a tsunami of madness; people were making out everywhere, topless girls were making out with each other for some guys that were hollering on the sidelines, lit-up joints were being passed around a large group of people, a DJ was playing hip-hop and, of course, thong-clad women were dancing and singing their hearts out. _Now, where the hell was Carter?_

Once I saw Cooper weeding through the crowd, I tugged at his shirt. His eyes bugged out when he saw me.

" _Hey,_ pretty little thing. What can I do for you?" Cooper slurred his words.

"Where's Carter? I can't find him anywhere."

"Carter... right..." Cooper shook his head. "Oh, he's around here... somewhere." My heart started to palpitate. Why was Cooper being so cryptic?

" _Where is he specifically_ , Cooper? Don't lie because I know you know where he is."

Cooper contemplated for a bit and finally shrugged. "Listen, Em, I like you, but don't tell Carter that it was me who told you. He'll chop my dick off if he found out. Got it?" WTF? How serious was this? Was Carter cheating on me?

"I promise I won't tell." And I wouldn't. This was between Carter and me.

"Is Lindsey here?" Cooper hesitantly asked. Was he still hung up on Lindsey after all the Cece craziness?

"No, I don't think so."

Cooper nodded and squeezed my shoulder. Okay, spill already! "Try the boathouse. That's where I last saw him."

FUCK!

"Thanks, Coop!" I gave him a sad smile and weaved through the throng of people to get outside.

The backyard was massive. It had a sprawling lush lawn that spread out until it hit the sandy beach. Palm trees were scattered everywhere with torches surrounding the trunks. There was a DJ playing trance and techno music out here.

I looked around for the damn boathouse. It was about a quarter mile from the house to my left. _Was Carter really in there?_ It looked too dark for anyone to be in there.

"Come dance with me, hot stuff!" Some sleazebag tried to pull me towards him. Ugh! No thank you.

"Not interested, bubba. Maybe you should try a few breath mints before you open that mouth of yours? It reeks of garbage."

"Jeez, I only wanted to dance!" the stinker muttered under his breath and left me to my own devices.

With my four-inch heels, I strutted towards the boathouse. I stopped right outside the door to listen for any indication that someone was inside. I could hear giggles and laughter from women, but I didn't hear Carter.

_Should I just open it?_ Was I ready to see what was going on in there?

Curious, antsy, angry and confused, I finally decided to open the damn door. It took a few blinks and I squinted until my eyes adjusted to the candle-laden feast that brightened the entire place. I froze and stared horrified as I took in the entire scene before me.

In the middle of some copper silk sheets, overflowing with embroidered pillows that were thrown on the floor, Carter was lying naked with one hand behind his head, looking like a fucking emperor having his usual night-time delights with his concubines. He was watching two nameless women—I recognized as friends of Amanda—make out while Amanda was sucking his cock. His other hand was busy finger fucking Cece while yet another nameless woman was licking his nipples.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" I screamed like a banshee, halting their movements. My eyes misted and I saw red. How long had this been going on?

I sprinted towards the indulgent sexual six-some and stood before Carter who immediately pushed Amanda off his cheating dick. Bastard!

"Emma, baby!" Carter started.

_Baby, my ass!_ I thought before I stomped on his crown jewels with good force. "FUCK YOU! Now you won't be fucking anyone tonight! We are through!" I bellowed at him.

"What the fuck, Emma!" Carter yelled before he curled up, cupping his balls. _Good_ , he deserved it!

I spun towards Cece. "Do you need to fuck the entire campus, Cece? Didn't it matter to you that he was with me? You're such a low-life skank!" I looked at the rest of the girls who started to scamper. "By the way, I'm Emma Anderson and you just fucked and screwed with my life, but I won't have the likes of skanks and tramps affect and ruin me. You can go and fuck yourselves now." With those final words, I left Amanda's house.

I didn't let my guard down until I got inside my car. Tears were streaming continuously down my cheeks as the scene I just witnessed flashed in my mind. Carter was such a womanizer! He would never change. Well, he did for a month or two, but that didn't last long.

Wiping my tears, I drove off. Not towards Santa Barbara, but towards Los Angeles.

# Chapter 26

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

~Winston Churchill

Once I exited the freeway, I had no clue where I wanted to go. After thirty minutes of mindless driving, I found myself parking at the Chateau Marmont. With my purse in hand, I walked to the reception desk. Old Hollywood glamour greeted me. The design was retro chic with a hint of old charm. Most of the people that worked here, it seemed, were all hot. Whatever worked for their image, I guess.

There were a lot of celebrities there; this was, after all, a local celebrity stomping ground.

I didn't know why I chose this hotel. Since Lindsey and I were supposed to stay here the last time, it was the only hotel that popped into my brain. There was only one thing I was here for and that was to mend my broken heart and find solace.

I finally managed to get a room without shedding a tear. The woman at the registration desk was a fucking chatterbox and she asked way too many questions. I smiled and pretended to listen to her, but in reality, I was holding my temper before I completely lost it and snapped her head off.

"Here you go, Ms. Anderson. Have a pleasant stay." She finally handed me my keycard. I murmured my thanks before I headed towards the bank of elevators.

Once I got to my floor, I inserted the keycard and let myself in the one-bedroom suite. I felt like I just walked in on an old school TV set, circa 1940's. Mustard colored couch, beige walls, the style of the rug and the lamps were quite fashionably; period-themed? The room was homey and charming and made me feel right at home. Although, I felt like Lucy and Ricky Riccardo would walk through the door at any moment.

I walked over to the bar and got myself a chilled bottle of water. I grabbed the wine bottle along with the wine opener and strode towards the bedroom. Sighing, I took my jeans off and jumped into bed. I decided to text Lindsey and Trista.

Me: _Hey. I just checked in at Chateau M. for the night. Carter and I broke up. Be back on Sunday._

FML!

What the hell just happened? Carter and I were doing well before the _incident_ happened. Well, I guess that was that.

Groaning, I sat up and opened the bottle of wine. Since I would be getting drunk alone there was no need for a wine glass. I grabbed the remote from the side table and turned the TV on. I immediately went to check out the movie section. Maybe I should watch _The Notebook,_ or something really depressing like _A Walk to Remember_? Scrolling and browsing, my thumb stilled when I found one of Bass's films— _Knights of Cimmerian_. _Should I?_ Since I really hadn't paid attention to any of his movies before, maybe I should start now? Oh, fuck it. I pressed play.

Lucian, the vampire, was definitely something. I got excited when I remembered Bass had a blatantly hot sex scene in this film. I supposed you could say that I was doing some 'research' for _Blasphemous._

I took another gulp of my wine and almost choked on it when I saw that Carter was calling me. WTF!

"Leave me the fuck alone, manwhore," I muttered aloud as my heart pounded at the thought of him.

Why was he calling, to apologize and give me some reasonable explanation as to why he cheated on me with not just one woman but _with five_? I chastised myself for getting back with him. I shouldn't have, especially when I wasn't a hundred percent sure about it at the time.

You lived and you learned. Well, lesson learned. I was not going to rock that cheating boat again because being betrayed like that is not the greatest feeling in the world. My phone started ringing again and I hit ignore.

"Fucker!"

I willed myself to ignore the phone calls and concentrated on watching the movie. I melted when I heard Bass's voice. How pathetic and idiotic was I, right?

I was so engrossed with the movie that I didn't hear the door open. I jumped out of my skin when I heard someone yelling, "Dooooll!"

Within seconds, Lindsey and Trista walked into the bedroom. I stared at them like they had come from outer space. "How did you guys get in here?"

Lindsey Mason gave me a grin and waved a keycard in the air. "Well, since our doll face is moping, Trista and I decided to drive up here and chill with you."

I was touched by their sweet gesture. "Thank you, guys, but how did you two manage to get in?"

Trista laughed as they both joined me in bed. "Lindsey had to dish out some heavy boob seduction to get the guy at the reception desk to hand us a keycard."

I barked out a laugh. The image Trista painted was just too funny not to.

"Hey! I had to. You weren't picking up your phone and we were thinking crazy things. I was desperate to get to you quickly. Who cares? It was just a nice peek-a-boo to make the poor guy's shift memorable."

Oh, I just bet.

My easy mood got squashed when Trista spoke, "What happened with Carter, Em?"

Where did I even begin? Shit. "I had a pregnancy scare a couple of days ago and I think Carter just lost it after that. I hadn't spoken to him since then. He wouldn't pick up my calls or return my messages so I was really frustrated with him, but at the same time, I understood why he freaked out because I did as well. Anyway, I went over to Amanda's party to look for him and I found him in the boat house with Amanda, Cece and three other girls, having an orgy."

"Fucking Carter! I told you my brother was not good enough for you!" Lindsey was upset. She scooted upwards and sat next to me as did Trista. Both of their heads were on my shoulders.

"Men are such horn-dogs! I'm sorry, Emma." Trista looked at me and rubbed my arm gently.

"Thank you, guys, for being here. It means a lot to me." I held both of my arms out and hugged my friends.

"Well, look at the bright side, sunshine; you can finally go for Bass Cole without anything holding you back." Lindsey pointed at the screen where Bass was kissing a woman.

The camera focused and zeroed in on their locked lips. My eyes took in how he kissed her. The sight alone of him kissing made me nauseous. I shook my head. "Bass and I are dunzo in that department, Linds. He probably doesn't even remember me."

Lindsey huffed. "Nah, that's wishful thinking, my friend. That man liked you. I mean really, really liked you and you dropped him like a hot potato. Bass Cole, dumped? That's unheard of. Trust me, doll, that guy will forever remember you. Guys don't take rejection kindly. Although, he might just hate your guts a wee bit."

Trista got all hyped up. "I think you should go see him, Em. You know, make a whole grand gesture thing?"

Uh, how about not? "That would be terrifying. Let's just drop the subject about Bass, please? I just got cheated on," I reminded them, but they seemed to be busy thinking about Bass and me.

"Bass wants you, doll. I say, give him a call," Trista insisted.

I bit my bottom lip. "I—he probably doesn't like me much. It's fine, really. Bass and I didn't happen. It's best to just leave it at that."

"Wait until Greece, you'll see." Lindsey was quite persistent.

"Greece? Who's going to Greece?" Trista looked at us both.

Crap. I hadn't mentioned it to Trista and Lindsey had promised not to speak to anyone about it, so she was clueless. "I'm actually going to star in Martin Lombardo's film as the female lead, with Bass."

Trista stood up and started jumping on the bed. After her small acrobatic routine, she landed back to earth. After catching her breath, she screamed excitedly, "Oh. My. God. You are so banging Bass there! And fuck, you're going to be an actress! How cool is that? I can't wait for Cece to hear this one. She's going to hate you even more."

I was sure of that. "Well, she already got my boyfriend. That should suffice her, don't you think?"

I hated thinking about what I witnessed in the boathouse. The images kept flashing in my head. I just wanted to throw something or scream my anger out, but that wasn't going to happen. So, I just opted to simmer.

"Ah, forget Carter Mason. You should, like, have a seduction plan ready when you get to Greece." Trista clapped her hands together. Well, it was great that she was all in high spirits again.

"Better yet, I have the grandest idea! We should visit you in Greece and watch you guys film. Is that possible, Em? I would love to see it all happen!" Lindsey and Trista were both looking at me.

"I totally agree that you both should come and visit me. We can go island hopping! I have no idea if you're allowed to watch us film, but I'll let you know," I suggested while they got excited.

"All those hot Greek men!" Trista shrieked.

I thought she might have been a little drunk.

Lindsey threw the wine cork at her. "Before you get all excited and start gushing about Greek men, what are you going to do about Harry, Tris?

Trista lowered her head and fidgeted with her big toe. "I don't know about Harry anymore. My cousin's two months pregnant."

Fuck.

"What do you plan to do? You can't keep being the other woman. He's obviously having the time of his life while you're stuck being miserable!" What was with all these men? Ugh!

Tears started falling down Trista's face. I reached out and gathered her in my arms. Trista sobbed, "I love him. I don't know how I can move on. I know it's wrong and I want to just leave him, but I don't think I have it in me. I don't know if I can survive without him."

Lindsey stroked her hair. "I know this must be very painful and difficult to do, but you have to let him go. He has a baby on the way, a little boy or girl. You don't want to be that person that takes him away from the little one, doll. I don't think your conscience could handle it. You're strong and your strength is in there somewhere. It's high time you really let Harry go."

Trista was now crying uncontrollably. "I know, I know. I just need time," Trista spoke in between sniffs.

Taking Trista's face and wiping her tears away with my thumbs, I gave her a hug. "I think we've had enough of sadness tonight. Do you guys want to go through the room service menu and eat our hearts out while we watch Vampire Bass kick some ass?"

"Um, yes, please?" Trista tried to lighten up the mood.

Lindsey stood up and pulled Trista out of bed. "You look like you're in need of some pancakes and bacon. Come on, I'm starving!"

Trista just nodded.

"Do they even offer breakfast at this hour?" I asked.

"If they don't, I'll make them. If pancakes will make Tris happy, I'll make damn sure she gets some."

I loved Ferocious Lindsey.

I got up and followed the two who were both hovering over the menu. "Don't forget to order a shitload of dessert. I think we all need a little sugar lovin'. I want me some chocolate cake!"

"You betcha!" Lindsey grinned at me.

"What the fuck! Who farted?" Lindsey jumped out of the king-sized bed and opened the sliding door that led to the balcony while fanning her button nose.

Trista started laughing. "Sorry, I think I ate too much last night. I'm gassy. There seems to be no way of stopping it." She then resumed her laughing hysterics.

Fuck, that stunk, BAD. I jumped out of the bed and went out on the balcony with Lindsey, laughing. Trista followed us.

Lindsey pulled out a chair. "Sit your ass down woman and wait until the gods of shit bestow you the gift of using the toilet. Until then, do not come near me!"

Trista was now on the floor, laughing. "Aye, aye, Fart Patrol!"

It was already two in the afternoon; we woke up late because we kept rewinding the sex scene with Bass all night. Yeah, we drooled at the sight of his tight ass.

Lindsey sat across from Trista. Both of their laughs were dying down. I plopped down on the other chair next to them. "Have you guys heard from Amber? I've tried calling and texting her, but she's not picking up." Amber had been MIA since Tahoe.

Trista looked serious all of a sudden. "I've been trying to get in touch with her, too, but she doesn't answer me either. I guess she's just not ready to talk to anyone."

Trista had a point. It was obvious that Amber didn't want to be bothered. I just hoped she was doing okay.

We had to go home soon and I wanted to shower, but I hadn't brought any clothes with me. "Guys, we have to check out in two hours."

"What? Why?" Lindsey asked, confused.

"Because we have to go home?" Duh? We didn't live here, although, I wished I did.

Lindsey pulled down her shades and leaned against the chair, her face basking in the sun. "Forget it. We're staying another day here. We'll go shopping for clothes later and have dinner somewhere. How does that sound?"

_Hmmm, strange_ , I thought. I folded my arms and stared at her. "What's your reason, Lindsey? Why don't you want to go home?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "Same shit different day. Brody and I—I told him I didn't want to do the whole relationship thing. Besides, I think this will be good for us. To stay another day, I mean."

And another one bit the dust. "Yeah, another day sounds good."

Trista stood up. "Sounds good to me. I have to get my phone charger. Be right back."

Lindsey and I were waiting for the coffee and fruit bowl we ordered when Trista came back. "Guys, look what I found!" She was out of breath when she slammed the magazine on the coffee table.

Lindsey and I both leaned over to check it out. It was Bass coming out of a club with the gorgeous Winston Twins. The Winston sisters, Kate and Khloe, were models as well as socialites; they were beautiful and rich. Their father, Grant Winston, owned one of the largest production companies in Hollywood. Guess Lydia Cornwell was history.

Lindsey and Trista were looking over the article, but I didn't join in. I honestly did not want to know about Bass's sex life. At all.

"This picture was taken last night. It seems Bass is here in L.A. for the weekend," Trista shrieked.

Okay, so? I wouldn't call him. "Well, that's nice."

Trista looked at me and then back to the trashy magazine. "Well, who needs another playboy anyway? I sure don't." Trista took the magazine and dumped it in the trash.

That was much better, thank you.

# Chapter 27

"I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?"

~Author Unknown

I heard a loud knock on the door.

"Emma, talk to me, please?" _Ugh, not again!_

"Go away, Carter. You're majestic dick is not needed here. Goodbye!" It had been a month since the boathouse incident and Carter was still trying to talk to me. Every. Single. Day. He hadn't been successful, though.

We dropped by Home Depot to buy new locks before we headed home from L.A. after the weekend at _Chateau Marmont_. I didn't want to take a chance on Carter prancing in here, asking for forgiveness, with me caught unaware. He waited for me everywhere, but I'd been able to avoid seeing him so far.

At times, I feel bad, like I was Cruella de Vil, but it didn't last long. All I had to do was remember the boathouse and it set me off in flames. I felt relieved when I heard him kick the door and stomp off.

Way to go and fuck up my day, Carter! Today of all days when I had to leave for L.A. Barbara's assistant, Mark, booked me a room to stay overnight in once a week. Upon arriving in L.A., I had to see my acting coach, Shiva, for two hours. After that, I had a one hour yoga session with Liston. The next day, I had a two hour grueling work-out session with my personal trainer, Ben. This painful, ass-kicking schedule started last week and today, I have to start it all over again. I didn't think my body had even recovered from the trauma it went through last week. _Yes, Ben was crazy._ It was hard to catch my breath with him. He was always breathing down my neck to keep on going and blah, blah, blah.

I honestly didn't think I needed to lose any weight. My stomach was flat and my body was toned from years of Pilates. I didn't know why Ben made me feel like I was the fattest kid in town. Whatever. I decided that after every session with him, I got to reward myself with something sweet and fattening. I knew it was naughty of me to cheat like that since I only had three months left before I left for Greece, but I really did believe that I seriously deserved it.

Lindsey and I were busy chatting as we unloaded our groceries from the trunk of her car. Once we got everything out, we walked towards our place. We both stopped chatting when we saw Carter leaning on the door.

"Emma!"

Of course, we both pretended that he wasn't there. When we got to the door, Linds pulled out her key and opened it.

"We need to talk, Em. I'm so sorry," the six-some lover said.

Ignore.

"Do you hear that weird sound, Em?" Lindsey asked me, amused.

I cocked my head a bit and blinked a few times. "Yeah, I think that's the sound of a dog crying because he got his balls stomped on."

Carter caught my arm and pulled me aside. Lindsey was about to flip a switch when I stopped her. "Go on in; this will only take a minute." Linds nodded and closed the door behind her.

For the first time in a month, I looked at Carter's face. I gulped, even though he was my least favorite person, it didn't change the fact that he still somehow affected me. Looking away, I hissed, "I'm only giving you a minute, Carter. I suggest you make the most of it."

Carter took hold of my chin and made me look at him. "Don't do this, Em. We need to talk... _in private_. Not out here. Please, I'm begging you."

"Will you leave me alone after you say your piece?" I looked at him skeptically. With Carter, it was hard to predict if he would keep his promises. His mercurial personality was one of the main things that infuriated me about him.

He shook his head. "No, I can't promise that. What I can guarantee, though, is that I won't be pestering you on a daily basis."

Good thing he knew he had a problem with sticking to his promises. Resigned, I reluctantly nodded. "Where do you want to talk?"

"Can we talk in your room?"

Let's just get this shit out of the way. "Yeah, that's fine."

Lindsey looked sour when I informed her that Carter and I were going to talk in my bedroom. Once inside, I sat on my bed and waited for him to speak. He was leaning against the wall, pensive. What could he possibly say that would make anything better? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

I started picking at the edges of a pillow when I heard Carter speak. "I know there's nothing that I can say that will make you forgive me. I was so stupid. When you told me that you were late, I started to panic. All of my doubts of becoming like my father surfaced again. It was a big reality check for me. I suddenly felt suffocated. I can't even describe the kind of relief I felt when you told me you weren't pregnant. Nothing mattered then because I felt free. Before I even decided to cheat on you, I knew for a fact that it would hurt you, but it still didn't stop me. I do love you, Emma, but I don't know how to accept it and live with it without getting paranoid."

He came over to the bed and sat across from me, the bed dipping under his weight. "I'm really sorry for hurting you this way. There's no excuse that will make anything better for you. I love you and I will always love you. Maybe someday, when I am ready to fully accept my love for you, maybe we can try again." Fat chance, bitch.

When I looked up and met his eyes, I felt pain. I had really wanted things to work out between Carter and me, and he screwed it up because he couldn't _accept_ the fact that he loved me? LAME BALLS! "Well, geez, this was a nice chitchat, Carter. What are you going to say next? That Cece and Amanda were your side whores while you were with me?"

"No, it was just you then, Em, and no one else." Yeah, sure, I _so_ believe you. Not.

Carter raked a hand through his hair and let out a long sigh. "I fucking miss you, Em. What the hell am I going to do without you? I don't like that I love you, but that doesn't change the fact that I do. You're all I see." _Good_ , let the ghost of me make you suffer and hound your thoughts.

My breathing hitched when he came closer and touched my cheek. Fuck! "I've missed how your skin feels. You're beautiful and I just wish things weren't so fucked up." Carter moved a little closer.

I wetted my suddenly dry lips. I couldn't do this with him. This was just too much. "Carter, you have to stop."

"I know, but I don't know how, Em. I don't know how to stop..." Carter trailed off as his lips captured mine. Maybe it'd been too long or maybe I somewhat missed this stupid toad, but I responded to his fevered, hungered kiss. I moaned when he pushed me down on the bed and positioned himself on top of me.

A knock came on the door. "Carter! Your time's up! You gotta scoot!" Lindsey yelled from behind the closed door.

"Fuck!" Carter cussed against my lips. Yeah, fuck. Thank God for Lindsey because I was just about to submit to him again.

Getting off the bed, Carter stood up and gave me a quick kiss. I just stared at him, wide-eyed. "I love you, Em." After telling his sister to back off, he stormed out and left the apartment.

Lindsey knocked on my door before she opened it. She strolled in and sat on my bed. "I knew you were in trouble when I didn't hear voices anymore. I just had to throw in my super life-saving skills."

This woman was awesome! "Thank you, Lindsey. Yeah, your brother almost had me. Fuck! I'm so stupid."

Lindsey gave me a quick hug. "Don't be too hard on yourself. Carter is just stupid. He's hurting because of what he did to you, but there is no one to blame but himself." She kissed my forehead and left me with my thoughts.

And for the next two months, he stayed away; physically, not emotionally. He would send flowers or presents to me on a weekly basis, along with random text messages.

Carter: _I love you, my Emma._

Carter: _I miss you, my Emma._

Carter: _I can't stop thinking about your lips. I wish you were next to me._

Carter: _I saw Pirates of the Caribbean today and couldn't stop thinking about our Halloween together._

Carter: _I bought your perfume today. I just wanted to smell you again._

Carter: _I will come back for you when I'm ready and I won't stop until you're back with me because it's not over. It will never be over._

Although I tried ignored his messages, they were in my thoughts. I had to give him props because he was really getting through to me.

I was being mind-fucked, plain and simple.

_A month before I left for Greece..._

"Emma?"

I was surprised that Carter was waiting for me outside of my class. I had seen him around school from afar, but never up close. From time to time, I could feel his hot gaze follow me around, but he never approached me, until today.

"Yes, Carter? What can I do for you?" I wanted to roll my eyes, but refrained from doing so. He was exasperating.

"I got an invitation to play for the L.A. Galaxy for two seasons a few months back and I accepted. My first game is next week and I was wondering if you could be there as my good luck charm and wear my jersey."

He got invited to play for the L.A. Galaxy? I was wowed, but I knew this day would come. He was going to be a senior this year and he was on his way to getting into MLS—Major League Soccer. His dream was to play for FIFA—Fédération Internationale de Football Association—and win a World Cup. I had no doubt in my mind that he would get there, for he was one determined mother fucker.

Carter was fascinating to watch when he played. He dominated the field and I used to love watching him own it. In his jersey he was extra yummy. I loved his powerful, strong, thighs; they were thick, hard and all manly.

I once loved this man, but that was before he _screwed_ it up.

"I'll think about it, but I'm not sure about the jersey thing." I wasn't his girl anymore. He had made that decision all on his own by choosing the kinky boathouse incident over us— _me_.

He handed me his jersey. It was in a white gift bag. I knew without even looking that it would have the number seven stitched on the back, his lucky number. I hesitantly grabbed the bag from him. My hand tingled when our hands brushed. "Thanks."

Carter shoved his hands back inside his pockets, he looked unsure. "I guess, I will see you next week then?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then."

He looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn't. With a sad smile, he departed.

"You sure you want to go with me? I mean he's my brother and all so I have to give some familial support, but you, you don't have to do this and torture yourself. You don't owe him anything."

I was already dressed and set to go, wearing Carter's jersey. FUCK!

"Lindsey's got a point, doll. I don't know about you going." Trista gave me a sad smile.

"It'll be fine, you guys. I have you two for a buffer. Now, let's get moving, shall we?"

We drove to The Home Depot Center—the home field of the L.A. Galaxy. Truth be told, I really wanted to see Carter play.

When he got on the field, he immediately looked to where we were seated—in the reserved seats section—and his face broke out in a massive smile when he found me. I almost smiled back.

When the game started, all three of us were cheering him on. Lindsey glanced over to the general admission seating and stiffened. I looked to see what she was staring at and I saw Cooper, Brody, Amanda, Cece and the three nameless bitches from the boat house sitting right beside our seats.

I wanted to rip Cece and Amanda's heads off when they stood up and started hollering, their large boobs jumping along with them.

"Stupid, skank-a-bitch," Lindsey muttered under her breath. My sentiments exactly! They definitely popped our damn bubble.

I was relieved when the game was almost over, but I was on the edge of my seat since the score was tied. All three of us stood up when Carter had the ball and started _The Roulette_ to move towards the opposite side of the field. I knew then that he was going to do the _Overhead Bicycle Kick_ and I hoped to God that he would fucking get it in past the goalie. My breathing stopped when I saw him go for the shot. Everything went in slow motion for me until the black and white ball went inside the goal, scoring the winning point. The stadium went ballistic and Carter took his shirt off and waved it in the air. He bared his hot, banging six-pack for everyone to see. He laughed when people started to chant his name.

When he stopped and looked at me, he bunched up his hand, tapped over his heart twice and pointed at me. I thought I was going to melt in to a puddle. Oh, fuck.

"Shit," both Lindsey and Trista muttered.

He gave me a beautiful smile before he threw his shirt in the air and aimed it towards the screaming fans. The crowd went wild.

After the game, Trista, Lindsey and I checked in at The Chateau Marmont, again. I supposed this hotel was now our place to stay when we were in L.A. We simply loved it here. Carter and the boys rented out a house in Malibu for an after-party. Of course, both Tris and Linds didn't think that I should go, but I wanted to.

"I don't know, Em. Carter still wants you after what he did. What if he tries something with you tonight? Will you be able to resist him?" Trista asked. It was a question that I couldn't answer.

Since we would be partying with Cece and Amanda, I had carefully chosen my outfit. This was going to be the first time I had been to a party since the boathouse 'incident' and I wanted to make myself as hot as possible tonight. I was going to flaunt my super sexy assets—thanks to Ben and Liston's dedication.

I chose a tight-fitted dress that matched my eyes along with some spanking hot designer nude rivet pumps. My blonde hair hung loose and I teased it to look like tousled beach hair. The tight dress made my C-cups pronounced with ample cleavage and the back of the dress had a big U-shape that stopped right above my butt.

Yes, tonight I planned to rock it with a lot of pizzazz.

# Chapter 28

"The best kind of revenge is to let him see how strong and beautiful you are, with or without him."

~Emma Anderson

When the girls finally saw me, Lindsey and Trista whistled.

"You know, if I were a lesbian, I'd be humping you right now," Trista declared. Linds and I both laughed.

"Come on, ladies. Let's go find Trista a super sexy man to get over Harry the asshat," Lindsey said as she opened the door to let us out.

Once we got to the party, Carter immediately sought me out like a horny teenager. "Em, you're doing a good job torturing me. I want to hide you from the gawking eyes of all the guys here. Fuck, you look hot as hell."

_Yeah, you can gawk some more if you want._ Just gawk, but nothing more.

"You played well tonight. Congratulations." I avoided his eyes while I took a sip of my mai tai and looked around the throng of people.

Lindsey was in one corner having an argument with Cooper while Brody watched from afar. What was going on with those three? Didn't she say that she didn't want to date Brody and she wouldn't date Cooper because of his fuck up in Tahoe with Cece?

My eyes darted to Trista who was busy dancing with a guy on the dance floor. Seeing her that way made me happy. She definitely deserved more than that douchebag Harry.

However, the burst of happiness suddenly left me when I turned to see Carter still standing next to me. My eyes connected to his; they were devouring me, but he refrained from touching me.

After two hours and a half a dozen mixed drinks, Carter was still stuck to me, tagging along like my bodyguard. When guys wanted to talk or ask me to dance, Carter stepped in like a rabid dog.

"Why don't you go and celebrate? Why are you stuck to me?" I asked with annoyance.

"I am celebrating, with you."

I rolled my eyes at that. Could he be any cheesier? I downed the rest of my mojito and spoke, "Well, I'm going to go find a guy to dance with. Laters!"

When I saw a hot blond guy at the bar, I darted towards him. This would be the first time I've ever asked a guy to dance, but after all the alcohol I consumed, all of my inhibitions were thrown out the window. I tapped his shoulder and the hot blond spun around. He smiled when he saw me.

"Will you be a dear and be my knight and shining armor tonight? Dance with me?" I asked and playfully bit my lip.

His hazel eyes lit up. "A hot, blonde bombshell asking me to dance? I'm honored."

I pulled him towards the dance floor and started to dance. The sexy man leaned into my ear and whispered, "I think I've seen you before, but I can't remember where." Not that stupid magazine again. I opened my mouth to say no, but he kept on going, "Did you happen to be at a club with Bass Cole and a group of his friends recently? I'm Taylor, one of his best friends. I'm almost a hundred percent sure that it was you. You've got one of those faces that are hard to forget."

FUCKING SHIT.

"Oh, right, Taylor." What the hell? I knew I was drunk with Bass that night, but still... I vaguely remembered meeting him and I did remember Bass telling me they were like brothers and always looked out for each other.

"Emma Anderson, right?" He even knew my last name? Shit.

"Yes, that's right. How are you?" Taylor then pulled me off the dance floor and found a spot where we could talk.

"Aren't you going to film with Bass next month? He's actually here tonight in L.A., but he heads out to London tomorrow." Why was he telling me this?

_Bass Cole, will I ever fucking forget you?_

"Yeah, I'll be seeing him in Greece." Before Taylor had a chance to respond, Carter stepped in.

"Try another chick, bud. She's taken." Carter looked serious as hell. I certainly was not taken. Carter could just shove his blasted jealousy somewhere else.

Taylor just gave him a jovial smile, but stuck his knife quite nicely at Carter. "It's not like that at all. Emma and I were just catching up since the last time I saw her a few months ago with Bass. I'm heading out to Bass's house right now. By the way, Emma, I'll be visiting the set in Greece. I'll see you then. Take care." Taylor walked off, leaving me with Carter.

Bass's house... I loved that house. I missed that stupid house.

"Can we talk in private?" Carter looked at me while I contemplated his question.

I looked at Carter for a minute, deciding if I should go with him or not. Seeing how his mood deflated after I danced with Taylor, I obliged. "Lead the way."

Safe in the confines of his bedroom, I sat on a chaise lounge that overlooked the ocean.

"Thank you for coming to my game. It meant a lot to me that you showed up." Carter stood across from me.

"Don't worry about it. It wasn't a big deal." It was _and_ it wasn't.

"So, you're leaving in a month?" he asked.

I nodded. "Why?"

What he asked next surprised me. "Are you planning on being with Bass?"

Well... Bass... who knows? Bass touched something inside me and that alone made me hesitant. If I hooked up with Bass, would I come out of it sane? I doubted it. He would consume me. "Right now? No, but will it change once we start spending more time together? I don't have the answer to that, Carter."

He sat across from me, too close for my liking, but I didn't move either. "Emma, thoughts of another guy touching you intimately drives me mental."

Well, geez. Insert eye roll. "Good, at least you have the luxury of _just_ using your imagination. I, on the other hand, got to watch it in HD, including groaning and moaning in surround sound, with _not one_ , but fucking _five_ women. So, no, you don't get to complain to me about your tormented thoughts of me fucking Bass."

"Dammit, Em!" What I spouted off made him mad, but it was the truth.

I should have pushed him away when his lips pressed on mine, but I didn't. There was only one word to describe Carter's kiss—desperate. It was like he wanted to erase all the bad things he'd ever done to me. No matter how much he wished it though, it was not going to happen.

"I want you... I want to be inside you. _Let me in_ , Emma." Was it wrong that I was a wee bit tempted to say yes? Was it wrong that I got wet kissing him?

"No, Carter. You're not just going to say sorry and slide back home like nothing happened."

Carter's forehead touched mine, breathing in agony. "Will you give me another shot when you get back from filming? I will change and wait for you, Em."

"I don't think you and I will ever happen again. I honestly don't think I could handle it."

"When you get back, I'll be waiting for you. I don't care if you're with Bass by then. I _will_ fight for you, Em, and I won't stop until you're mine again. You may believe that we're over, but you and I will never be over, even if you want us to be." His words hung in the air.

I looked back at the man who I'd loved, the man that broke my heart. When my eyes met his, his sincerity and tenacity showed through the darken depths... and in that moment, I had an inkling that what he said might be true.

# Chapter 29

"The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you."

~Tony Tobbins

Are you ready?" Barbara asked me, eyeing me like I was a little girl.

"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess." There was nothing that could soothe my nerves.

Barbara checked me in at the W Hotel to stay for the night before I left for Greece the next day. We were in the living room in my suite, enjoying refreshments as we went over essential last-minute details.

"You have a spa appointment in a few hours. Bass is in Europe doing his rounds of interviews for a movie he filmed before _KOC_. He should be joining the rest of the cast in a few days. That kid is always jumping from one city to another. I don't know how he does it." Barbara Schwartz leaned back and looked at me.

"How _is_ Bass? I haven't spoken to him in a while." Okay, it was more like five months, but who cares?

"Not on speaking terms, are we? I knew something was up, but I didn't want to press you about it. Moving on, I have the 'scene list' and your sleeping arrangement." Barbara cleared her throat as she pulled a sheet of cream paper from a folder and handed it to me.

The 'scene list' was actually a list of what type of material I would prefer during the nude scenes with Spiros and Logan. Ha!

"Do you know who will be playing Spiros? You haven't mentioned him yet."

"Of course, his name is Dimitris Kosta. He's Greece's equivalent to our Bass Cole."

"Oh."

"Precisely—the man is a total charmer. Be wise, will you, Emma?" Barbara sounded worried.

"About me and Dimitris?" Christ. I didn't know if I should be insulted. I was certainly not a loose cannon.

"Oh, don't look offended. That wasn't my intention. All I'm saying is that you will be stuck in this place for months! You will be spending a crazy amount of time filming, not to mention the sex scenes that will happen—hormones will be jumping around. The men... they will need to release... and hunt for their chosen meal. We're only human and there will be times—how do you put it? Hmm... like you will be tempted to just let go and be reckless. All I'm saying is BE safe. And if it does happen... don't forget to take those birth control pills on a daily basis. I mean it, Emma. No unwanted pregnancies when you're barely making a dent in your career. I can have my assistant call you on a daily basis to remind you."

Geez, seriously? "Barbara, both of my parents are doctors. My mom's a gynecologist and she never failed to drill the safe sex speech into my head. I do love babies, but I'm not ready for that. You have nothing to worry about. I guarantee it, okay?"

"Good. Moving on... read through the scene list and circle what you prefer. Of course, it would be best to discuss that with Bass and Dimitris beforehand. Do you need Shiva to come here and practice running your lines together?" Gosh, I knew I was new, but my memory wasn't lagging. I think the past months with Shiva would suffice. I needed a break from him—even if it was for only a day or two.

"I'm fine. I want to go shopping before my spa appointment. I need to grab a few things before tomorrow." I huffed out a sigh and took a sip of my iced water.

"I informed Martin's assistant, Jack, about your sleeping arrangement. You did say you wanted to stay in a cottage?"

I had the option of staying in one of the twenty cottages around the area or have a room in the villa. The thirty room villa would be too crowded for me and I wanted to be alone. I couldn't wait to wake up greeted by the breathtaking beauty of the Aegean Sea. "Yes, I'd much rather stay in a cottage."

Barbara ate a bite-sized cannoli then dabbed a napkin on her pristine red-painted lips. "I did tell Jack that. He said that a lot of the crew chose to stay in the cottages, too. Jack said he would try to secure you your own cottage, but since we submitted the request late he can't guarantee it."

"I understand. I apologize it took me a while to get back to you about that. It's been hectic with finals and all." Excuses, excuses.

Barbara gave me a curt nod. "Just make sure that doesn't happen again because in this business, everything changes and shifts in the blink of an eye. Your phone is your salvation. Keep it close to you at all times. Little things like this are essential, Emma. You must understand that."

I was trying to, but I would try harder. "I will, Barbara. Trust me, I will. I take everything that is related to work very seriously."

That promise earned me a pretty smile. "That's more like it. I don't want to work with a harebrained actress. As long as you stick with that work ethic, you and I will get on just fine, Emma. Bass and I have a brilliant working relationship and I want that with you as well. I see the fire in your eyes—keep that and you will become successful. This movie will make or break you, dear. I don't underestimate Lombardo's choice, so I am really aiming for you to become the next 'it' in Hollywood. Just as long as you don't get too caught up with all the trappings of drugs and sex scandals, you're going to do fine."

"Huh? Well, I don't plan to scandalize all of America with my crotch, thank you." I only want to be recognized as a good actress... not a porn star.

"Splendid, then I suppose I will run along. I will check on you in a week or so. Have a safe trip." Barbara got up and gave me a quick hug.

Chanel No.5 hit me full blast. Goodness, did the woman bathe herself in it? A spritz or two should suffice, not the entire damn bottle!

"Thank you. I'll speak to you soon!" I gave her a tight smile and watched her saunter towards the door.

I groaned when the door shut behind her. I went inside my room and hunted down my purse. If there was one thing that would help ease my nerves it was shopping. I guessed I could splurge a little bit. I had been partially paid and that amount was sitting in my bank account. I supposed a dent on the amount wouldn't destroy me, so why not be fanciful?

_Rodeo Drive and Robertson Boulevard here I come!_

After a long eleven hour plane ride from Los Angeles to London, I was beyond ready to fall in my bed and snore the night away once we checked in at The Dorchester Hotel for the night. I was dreading the flight to Greece tomorrow–I was sick of airplanes!

Once inside my room, I pulled out my phone and sent a mass text message to my family and friends.

Me: _Just checked in @ the Dorchester H and I'm pooped! I will get in touch once I land in Greece. Love all you peeps!_

During the plane ride, I had a lovely chat with Ross Maitland. She had that whole warm, motherly feel to her that reminded me of my own mother. It didn't take much time for us to start chatting about her kids and what I should expect for my first time being in a movie. She was very reassuring and I was glad when she didn't question me about Bass.

For the past few months, I'd been keeping track of Bass through gossip magazines and websites. Pathetic, I knew. I didn't want to, but at the same time, my curiosity was killing me. I wanted to know what he had been up to since I couldn't bring myself to call or even text him. After all, I didn't hear from him either, so why make the big gesture? Because... _because you've been dying to hear from him?_

Once we deplaned and I saw the island of Aspasia, I was in love. My God, this little island was a beautiful piece of heaven with miles and miles of beautiful white sand and the clearest, bluest water I'd ever seen. This island was going to be my home for the next few months...hell yes!

"Welcome to Aspasia," a young tanned girl, somewhere in her late teens, greeted us. She stood next to a small circular table with iced lemonade.

There were fifteen six-seater, pimped-out golf carts and three Jeeps with matching uniformed drivers in each. I assumed the Jeeps were for the equipment and luggage.

"Will you be staying at the villa?" David Shilling asked me. Some of the people took their drinks and left with their assigned ride.

I shook my head. "Nah, I'm staying in one of the cottages. I want to be close to the beach."

Ross Maitland laughed. "You young kids! See you during dinnertime then."

We grabbed our iced beverages and said our thanks to the smiling girl. "See you guys then!"

With a quick wave, I walked towards the cart that said 'Ms. Emma Anderson.' Wow, how cool was that?

"Herete, I'm Anaxos and I will be driving you to your cottage," a man in his fifties greeted me with superb hospitality.

"Hello. That would be lovely, thank you." I gave him a bright smile before I slid into the second row of seats.

I took in the breathtaking scenery on the ride to the cottage. They were right on the shore and the wide pathways were lined with beautiful, colorful flowers and boulders. I could see the expanse of the villa, which sat atop a hill from afar. We passed a few of them on the way to mine and it seemed that they were half a mile apart. I had no idea why they called them cottages when they looked like freaking dream houses. They were all white with hot pink bougainvilleas crowding them. They were perfect!

About ten minutes later, Anaxos finally stopped at the end of the pathway in front of a cottage that looked a little bigger than the other ones we passed by. While the smaller ones looked like they had two bedrooms, this one looked like it had four.

Excited, I hopped out of the cart. "Thank you, Anaxos."

He gave me a toothy smile. "No problem, despoinida. Here is your key and your luggage will be delivered to you very soon. Enjoy the beautiful islands of Greece. Have a good day." I gave him a quick wave before he jumped back in the cart and drove off.

Bubbles of excitement rushed through me as I used my key to open the cottage. The moment I walked in, a stunning view of the Aegean Sea greeted me from behind floor to ceiling windows. There was a glass door across the room that led to a large, shaded patio with an all-white pergola adorned with the twining hot pink bougainvilleas. I strolled towards it and opened the door to check it out. There was an outdoor rattan canopy bed, a table for six and lounge chairs were scattered around. There was even a pathway to the beach. I moved over to the white cement railing and took a long whiff of the sea air.

"Ah, this is the life!" I closed my eyes and basked in the sun's warmth.

I jumped when I heard a loud banging noise. I tensed and listened to see if I would hear it again. After a moment of silence, the banging sound started up again and gradually got louder and louder. _Was someone at the door?_ I moved back inside and walked towards the front door. I peeked out the peephole, but there was no one there.

Okay...

The banging got frenzied. I tensed when I realized someone was having sex in one of the rooms. _I have a house mate?_ Ah, fuck.

"Yes! Give me that meat, you dirty fucker!" a woman's voice screamed. The banging got out of hand then. It sounded like hundreds of horses were galloping at the same time. The woman was screaming and it echoed all through the house.

_Holy crap_ , she sounded like she's getting some hard, heavy pounding.

I stood in the middle of the living room as I listened... _hell yeah, I listened!_ It was like listening to porn in surround sound.

"Yes! I'm coming!" the woman screamed like she was being murdered.

Oh, dear. If this woman was going to be my housemate, she and I would have to set some ground rules. It would be a living nightmare if I had to hear those loud screaming voices all night.

After what seemed like a marathon of wall banging, it finally ended. _How long have I been listening?_

I was about to move when I heard a door open. A beautiful exotic woman—who looked like Sophia Vergara's doppelganger, but with green eyes—came out of the room, wearing only a skimpy shirt. From the looks of it, it wasn't hers. Her hair was wacky... _banged_ up hair. Ha!

She was smiling, but halted when she finally saw me. "Oh, hello, I'm Alexia." Without waiting for a response from me, she went over to the other side of the room towards the kitchen. _Okay... that was odd._

"Lex, can you grab me some water, too?" a male voice yelled. I watched the door open and saw a black, tight-boxer brief clad Bass come out.

HOLY MOTHER FUCKING HELL! You have got to be joking!

"Emma?"

I squeaked.

FUCK!!!!! Floor, please swallow me whole.

"What are you doing here?" Bass asked as he came closer, wearing a weird expression on his face. I think he was trying to make sure it was really me. The closer he got I noticed his body had a nice glossy sheen of sweat that made his abs and shoulders much more pronounced. Gah! Stop gawking, Emma.

_Did he just ask me a question?_ Where the hell did my voice go?

One.

Two.

Three.

I cleared my throat and spoke, not meeting his eye, "I was told this was my cottage."

"Here you go, stallion." Alexia kissed Bass on the lips and handed him his water.

"I thought this was mine. Jack himself arranged it for me," Bass spoke in a tone I wasn't familiar with.

"Barbara arranged mine."

Bass cussed and left the room, mumbling about fixing the problem. I supposed the 'problem' was me?

Well, too bad. If he didn't want to share this cottage with me, he could move out for all I cared. I was staying put, with or without the angry Bass Cole.

# Chapter 30

"The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain."

~Aristotle

Bass finally emerged from his bedroom after a few minutes, looking as pissed off as ever.

"I'm going back to our room. Don't make me wait too long, I don't want to have to come and get you. You still have promises to deliver, stallion," Alexia teased then sauntered past us towards the bedroom.

_Stallion?_ Blah.

"Jack said the extra cottage was given to the costume designer people. Fuck!"

Well, his obvious disdain towards me couldn't be any clearer. Did I expect him to greet me like this after months of not seeing each other? Hell no. Was I hurt? A thousand times yes. As much as I wanted to retaliate and stomp about, I didn't want to argue with him. I just had to ignore it. Time to suck it up, Emma!

"Whatever." I shrugged and moved past him. I chose the opposite side of the house, the room farthest from his, which was only two doors down. It wasn't far enough, but what choice did I have? I certainly was not going to be sleeping in the villa with the rest of the crowd.

I checked my room out. I had a huge bathroom and a massive bedroom with a very stunning view of the sea. It was enough to make me able to tolerate Bass and Alexia as long as they didn't fuck like rabbits all night or get in my business. I was still appalled and disconcerted about my encounter with Bass, but if he wanted to act like a total asshat, so be it. I would not let it get to me because the more I thought about it, the more I would be distracted and I needed all my concentration focused solely on my job. I'd just have to suck it up.

There was a soft knock on my door and I spun around when it opened. A young girl gave me a nice smile. "Ms. Anderson, my name is Maria. Your luggage is here. Takis will be bringing it in very soon. I'm here to inform you that there will be afternoon tea and snacks at the main villa in an hour. There is a directory next to the telephone in the living room. You can call for someone to come get you when you're ready, if you like. Have a good afternoon." I gave her an easy smile, thanked her and Maria smiled brightly and nodded her head before she opened the door a little wider to let the guy, who I assumed was Takis, bring my things in. I gave him a tip and said a quick thank you.

Once they left my bedroom, I dragged myself out of my jet-lag funk and headed to the bathroom. After a quick shower, I wore a long, pale, lemon-colored halter-top dress and finished it off with studded gladiator-style slippers. With a quick application of peach lip gloss and a hasty fluff of my long blonde hair, I was set to go. Since the studio asked me to grow my hair longer, I had been scared to go to a salon and get it trimmed. It was odd, yes, that I hadn't had a haircut in a long time, but I was hesitant. You see, from experience, stylists always nodded and pretended that they understood when you tell them that you only want half an inch off, but once you were in that leather chair, bounded with clips and the shampoo cape, you were at their mercy. More times than I could count, these people did not follow through with instructions. I hadn't minded it before, but with this movie, it was critical for me to follow through. I certainly didn't want to bother with extensions, so I ended up taking care of my own problem.

After endless research on the internet, I had found my salvation. Coconut oil, hot or cold. I had been applying it twice a week on my hair and it looked healthy and lustrous and most importantly, longer.

When I surfaced from the room and strode past Bass's door, I could hear laughter and something twisted inside me. I pushed forward and skittered out of the cottage. I needed a good walk to clear my troubled head and the ten minutes to get to the villa, did the trick, mostly. The villa was humungous. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought I walked into an acropolis.

I was ushered inside a large banquet room. It was vast and airy and had all glass walls that overlooked the Aegean Sea. It looked like a shimmering blue jewel and reminded me of Bass's beautiful eyes... _the eyes that were gazing in Alexia's this very moment,_ I thought painfully.

There were a lot of people already here and when Ross Maitland saw me, she got up and introduced me to some of the other actors that I hadn't met. There were possibly five people my age; three guys and two girls. I thought they may have been cast as Logan's friends.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a man stand up. I spun around and found a set of light blue eyes, fringed with sooty dark lashes. I was taken aback by his ravenous gaze–he was looking at me like I was his dinner. Barbara was right; I was going to be tested like mad. I was surrounded by hot men. _God, help me._ The man before me was the real deal. A real Greek Adonis.

Ross suddenly gushed. _Yeah, I know the feeling_. "Emma, meet Dimitris Kosta, your soon to be fake husband in a couple of days." Why was I frozen again? How many times did this have to happen to me? Fuck!

He held out a large, tanned, beautiful hand to shake mine. "Kalispera, Emma. I am Dimitris." He said, telling me 'Good evening'.

Damn, deep dark voice, too. Why couldn't he just have a squeaky, high-pitched, annoying voice? Why did he have to be armed with the whole _hot_ package? I eyed his over six-foot frame; he wore skinny chinos that showed off his powerful thighs and a powder blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his thick, wavy dark hair was trimmed neatly. My intrigued eyes roved about and took in his chiseled sculpted cheeks, strong jaw, straight nose and tantalizing smile. _If he tells me he plays soccer..._

I. Am. Fucked.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dimitris," I murmured, not meeting his eyes because I was so intimidated by him. _Who wouldn't be?_ I had just barely recovered from my shocking encounter with Bass and now this!

"I will leave you two young people to talk. I'm sure you both have a lot to discuss," Ross excused herself and joined some others across the room.

I had to leave and sit somewhere. Maybe I should have just blurted out, "later dude." Instead, I tried to compose myself. "I'm going to go to the buffet and get something to eat. I'll see you around, Dimitris."

He moved next to me and placed his hand on the small of my back. "Let's go get you some food. Greek food is the best. You'll love it." _I'm sure I will._

Once we got to the buffet, Dimitris pointed and explained the dishes. I noted that he was quite passionate about Greek food and his heritage. He was amiable and easy to converse with. He took charge, loading our plates with spanakopita, kalamarakia— which was calamari, but a bit harder to roll with the tongue—salad and some other stuff I didn't catch. He then loaded desserts on two plates; baklava, loukoumades, halva, finikia and amygdalota. My stomach growled when I got a whiff of the sweet smelling dessert pile.

Both of our hands were full with two plates each. Much to my surprise, Dimitris didn't head towards the tables where everyone was chatting. Instead, he walked out the main entrance towards a grassy hill-top that overlooked the sea and found us a spot where we could sit and eat.

"How do you like Greece so far?" the Greek man who sat before me asked with a winning smile.

"It's great so far. I'll let you know once I have explored more of it." I took one flaky spanakopita and savored every bite. _Delicious,_ I thought with satisfaction.

"I'll show you my country. You'll love it." A soft breeze passed through us and I noticed how the ends of his hair curled around his eyes. When he looked at me, I noticed how clear they were.

"Your eyes, they're very unusual, like crystals. I've never seen blue eyes like that. It's very distracting," I remarked out loud.

"I could say the same about your eyes, Emma, but I would be lying because I find the whole package distracting." Dimitris's eyes studied me and lingered on my cleavage.

Huh. How long did that playboy side of his take to come out? _Fifteen minutes, tops?_ "Well, I suggest you become accustomed to it. You and I will be spending a lot of time together."

Dimitris brushed the crumbs off his fingers and laughed. "Yes, you and I have two good naked scenes, no? How long have you been an actress?" I was entirely new to this. Would he still take me seriously if I told him I was an amateur?

I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. "Actually, this is my first role in a movie. I'm overwhelmed to be honest."

That definitely intrigued him. "A virgin actress! How exciting. We're going to have fun." _Hmm, right. Don't think so._

We had just finished eating and I was about to burst out of my dress. The food was totally delicious. I was already looking forward to our dinner tonight.

Dimitris looked at the scenery as did I. It was really beautiful here. "I have a party tonight in Athens. Will you come?"

I wiped my mouth with a napkin before responding, "Sure. What time?"

Dimitris gave me a dazzling smile. "I plan to leave after dinner. I will meet you back here at the villa, say at ten tonight? I have to speak to Martin about something important."

Partying in Athens? How far was that from here? "Okay, I'll see you then." We both got up and he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before strolling back inside.

I walked back to the cottage and was surprised to find Bass. He was alone, out on the patio, enjoying a beer and lounging in only a pair of surfer shorts. Where was Alexia?

He strode back inside when he heard me. "Where did you go?"

I looked at him strangely. Why was he talking to me? Especially after the shitty welcome I got from him.

"Why?"

Bass frowned at my question. "I was worried."

I snapped. "Well, don't. You can go ahead and keep screwing Alexia. I'm going to take a nap. Oh, and please stop making her scream like she's getting murdered because I might just murder you both if you interrupt my sleep."

"I sent her home."

What? "Why would you do that?"

"You're here. We're sharing a house together. I don't want to offend you. I apologize for my attitude earlier. You just caught me by surprise. I didn't expect you to be just standing there, listening while I had sex with another woman."

I folded my arms and glared at him. "I wasn't listening on purpose, Bass. Hell, I bet the entire island heard her scream. I honestly don't care about your sex life." I harrumphed and turned around to leave, but he caught my arm.

"Let me make it up to you then. I'll make dinner tonight and we can dine outside on the patio." Bass's lazy, dimpled smile surfaced. That caught me off guard. I used to drool over his stupid smile and now... I still did... but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing.

"I'm going out tonight. I got invited to a party."

His hold tightened on me. "Party? Where?"

I gave him a bright smile. "With Dimitris Kosta... in Athens."

Bass let go of my arm and cussed. "You barely just got here and you're already going on _a date?_ Are you fucking kidding me?" Nope.

"See you later, Bass." With a quick wave, I left him there. I walked to my bedroom and took a nap.

_Forget Bass and his stupid beautiful eyes... and his stupid smile, too._

"I do not believe this! Go change, Emma!"

That's not going to happen, buddy. "You wish." When I had come out of the bedroom to call for a ride to pick me up, Bass was waiting for me in the living room.

Bass's eyes raked all over my body and I flushed from his scrutiny. "Your skirt is indecent, your top is too revealing and those fuck-me heels need to go."

My fingertips touched the end of my short skirt. "It's not that revealing. I'll be okay as long as I don't bend over." I was having such a ball at making his blood boil. Before he could muster a response, a knock came at the door. "That must me my ride. Have a good night, Bass." I sauntered past him and went out.

Before I managed to close the door I heard him yell, "Fuck!" I smiled at his frustration.

_Jealousy was a bitch_.

When I got to the villa, Dimitris was waiting on me, looking hotter than ever. "You look perfect, Emma." His light eyes were shining in the dark as he admired me. I murmured my thanks, feeling shy all of a sudden.

"There's been a change of plans. I hope you don't mind, but I want to take you to dinner then we'll head out to the party afterwards."

"Sure, I would love to see more of Athens. I can't wait." I gave him a great big smile before he ushered us to the waiting car.

"Sas efharisto, Emma." Thank you.

Since he never mentioned how we would manage to get off this island, I was a little apprehensive when we got to a small air strip where a black helicopter was parked. I was maybe thinking along the lines of a speed boat...

Once he thanked the driver, the golf cart drove off. I stood there, eyeing the daunting black thing. "Um, where's the pilot?" I didn't see anyone out here other than us.

Dimitris just gave me an amused smile. "I am the pilot. Come on, beautiful Aphrodite, your chariot awaits." Aphrodite, the goddess of love, beauty and pleasure.

I swallowed. No way. "I don't know. I, uh, I've never been in a helicopter before." I didn't plan on dying tonight either.

"Don't worry. You're safe with me. Let's go." Oh, fuck it.

Once we were seated inside the cockpit, he turned and flicked a lot of switches on. I had a hard time keeping up. As he handed me a headset, I looked at him, deadpanned. "How long have you been doing this?"

His light blue eyes glowed. "Ever since I was twenty, five years ago." He touched my jaw and our eyes locked together. "Just trust me; I will not disappoint you, Aphrodite."

I smiled a tad hesitantly. "Just try not to get us killed. I would very much appreciate it."

With a throaty laugh, he turned on the rotors and swiftly lifted us up in the air. Scaredy cat that I was, I sat still and prayed for a safe landing with my eyes closed. About twenty minutes into the ride, Dimitris spoke.

"Emma, watch as we fly over Athens, it's a magnificent sight to see from up here," Dimitris's sexy accented drawl came through the headset.

Men and their sexy accents. It was hard to resist ignoring them when they started talking, especially when they were as good looking as Dimitris.

Sure enough, when I opened my eyes, the glittering lights of Athens below us sparkled in the black of the night. They were beautiful. It sort of reminded me of the view at Bass's house. Of course, Athens was much more fascinating than the view of Los Angeles. I realized that this had been the first time I'd even thought of Bass since Dimitris and I had left.

About ten minutes later, Dimitris landed on a helipad of a tall building. Apparently, he owned the entire building. The top two floors were used as his apartment and the 'party' was on the third floor. We ate our meal that his chef prepared–an authentic Greek meal just as he had promised–in his apartment.

After dinner we headed a floor down to join the party, I was surprised that the loud music didn't reach upstairs. His soiree had a club atmosphere and it had a breathtaking view of Athens.

I only had a glass of wine upstairs during dinner, but when his friends welcomed me and shoved shots of ouzo my way, I couldn't say no. Did I fail to mention that Dimitris was the perfect gentleman? He was awesome. We danced all night.

At around two-thirty, he pulled me aside. "Do you want to stay the night here with me or do you want my pilot to fly you back?"

We were both obviously drunk and I appreciated that he was offering to have his pilot fly me back instead of him, but did I want to fly back? Bass would probably be asleep by now. "I would love to go back to the island. It's been a lovely night, but I want to sleep in my room, if you don't mind."

Dimitris arranged his pilot to fly me back. On the helipad, he gathered me in his arms and gave my lips a chaste kiss, the taste of ouzo on his lips. "I will be seeing you very soon, Aphrodite. Have a safe flight."

I gave him another quick wave before I jumped inside the deathtrap. Since I was drunk, I wasn't scared of flying back to the island. A driver was waiting for me when we landed and took me back to my cottage. I happily waved at the driver and walked slowly to the door.

I opened my purse and searched clumsily for my key, but before I could even find it, the front door was yanked open by an intimidating Bass. "You're drunk!"

_Really?_ I hadn't noticed. "Ah, Bass- _hole_ , how are we doing tonight?" I shoved past him and went straight to the kitchen to get some water. The entire house was dark, except for the moonlight shining through the windows.

"Why are you home so late, Emma?"

I chugged the entire glass of water then slammed it down on the counter. I spun around and faced him. "The green-eyed monster got you, baby? You should be happy that I didn't say _yes_ to Dimitris' offer to stay the night with him." I walked towards him, brazen and so full of energy, and cupped his balls. Bass was momentarily shocked from my attitude. "Does jealousy eat you alive?" I squeezed his manhood a little bit tighter. "How much do you want me, hotshot?" His eyes darkened and he looked downright wicked.

Bass gave me a devilish grin, picked me up and swiftly carried me to my bedroom. He got us inside in a heartbeat. He put me down onto my stomach on the floor and ordered, "Don't move. Let me do everything."

_I like this Bossy Bass,_ I excitedly mused.

"Lift your arms." I did as I was told. Bass slowly took off my clothes, leaving me in my skimpy thong. His forefinger traced a path from my neck to the base of my spine. He pulled my hair to the side, exposing my neck and began a trail of kisses down my back. He knelt down and slowly slid my underwear off then resumed his trail of soft kisses. When he got to the crevice of my butt he stuck his tongue out and I tensed. _Whoa, there!_

"Step aside and bend over with your hands touching your toes."

Ummm, What?! I was a bit skeptical but still followed his commands, bending over with my ass up in the air while I clutched my toes as if my life depended on it.

From the base of my butt's crevice, his thumb slowly glided down until it reached my sensitized area. I gasped when his thumb grazed by my anus. It went further until he reached my pussy and jabbed his thumb inside me. I gasped in shock.

"Do you like what I'm doing to you, Emma?" he asked while his ministrations became frenzied. I moaned. FUCK. YES!

I closed my eyes and savored the heavy pounding of my heart and the throbbing of my pussy as he became relentless. _I wanted more..._

He pulled out his thumb and inserted it in my anus. I tensed, but before I could manage to protest, he stuck another finger inside my vagina. Ah, shit! His finger was twirling and sliding in and out of me. He was taking some of my juices and slathering them along my labia.

"Do you want more?" Bass rasped out.

Did I want more? _Was he loco?_ I wouldn't be in this bent over position if I didn't! "As much as you can give me," I implored.

Bass pulled out his fingers. I sighed when he lifted me up and carefully placed me on the edge of the bed. He knelt before me and slid the lower half of my body a tad off the bed. I bit my bottom lip as I stared at him. My carnal body was fervent for him, aching for him to touch me.

Spreading me wide open, he folded my legs and looked at me. "Hold onto your legs. Don't let go until I tell you to, understand?" Bass asked as he pressed both of his hands on my inner thighs and pushed them open further. _When had I become so flexible?_ The sides of my folded legs were touching the bed, all wide and all accessible to him.

Anything you ask, I'll do. "I won't let go until you tell me to."

The wicked smile of his resurfaced again. "Good girl, Emma."

Just the look of Bass in this licentious state gave me a euphoric high. If I thought he looked like a badass sex-god before, I was much more blown away with the wicked Bass before me. It was the light and the dark side of him meshed together.

Bass pulled something out of his pocket and opened a tiny can of Altoids, the sugar-free kind. Ah, why did he need _breath mints?_

He popped six tiny, blue squares in his mouth and placed the rest next to me. His azure eyes glittered before me as he focused on my exposed genitalia. I watched as he puckered his lips and slowly blew his minty breath on my pussy all the way down to my anal hole and then back up again. I shivered, _holy awesomesauce!_

The tip of his minty tongue ran through my pussy with one quick swipe. The minty feel made my labia tingle like it was on fire. I clenched my vaginal muscles. I was trying to control my body because it was on the verge of combusting from the thrill and anticipation of Bass's ravaging tongue.

He reached out and took two more Altoids and inserted them inside me. His hot tongue followed suit. I yelped. All the minty/fiery/cool/wet sensations and the ministrations of his tongue made me lose control. I lifted my hips off the bed, wanting him to keep going, but at the same time, I wasn't sure if I could handle it. Bass focused on my nub and started to slowly nip the sides of my wet folds.

"Bassss!" I screamed when he inserted his middle and forefinger inside my pussy and his thumb in my back door entrance. Anal foreplay was something I had never experienced; it was a taboo and I never thought it would play a part during sex, but Bass proved me wrong.

His finger fucking of my vagina was another thing. He didn't move it in and out of me, but instead, he hooked his fingers like a grapnel, and zeroed in on my g-spot. Bass was abso-fucking-lutely relentless in working over my body; his thumb stuck inside my other hole, his teeth biting in between the twisting and flickering of his tongue on my clit and his finger hooked in my pussy were all making me tremble violently.

I was a fucking shipwreck; sinking further down and drowning from all the shocking tremors that were vibrating through my body in waves. The more I thrashed and moaned, the more Bass became feral, unleashing those teeth of his, biting me.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any crazier, he pulled out his thumb and used his free middle finger to trace my pussy juice down to my ass. Sliding it down, wetting it before he stuck his middle finger in my anal entrance. I bellowed when he started it all over again. It didn't take long before my orgasm rocked me over and over and over again. Back to back to back, the crazy multiple orgasms made me see stars.

"Bass, please, stop. I can't take it anymore. I want you in my mouth," I begged and sobbed at the same time because he wasn't letting up. I didn't know if I could handle another round of orgasms. I was already dying; the next batch would surely put me six-feet under.

When Bass finally came away from my mound and ass, his lips were cherry red, my wetness glistening on his mouth and chin. His smile was devious. From the top slit of my lower lips. He stuck out his tongue and slowly licked me going upwards; past my navel, the valley of my breasts, my chest, my neck and stopped on the tip of my chin. I gasped when I felt his hot tongue trace my lips in such a slow, sweet, lingering motion. I was praying for him to kiss me, but he gave me a kiss on the tip of my nose instead. _What? There is no way we were done here!_ I wanted to touch that fat monster of his. I'd been dying to since I saw him naked the night we swam.

I reached down to unbuckle his jeans, but he moved sideways. "No, don't do this," I begged. How could he not want to finish this after what just happened between us?

He stared at me, eyes flicking back and forth. "Be with me, Emma," Bass rasped out.

I didn't know if I could be with Bass. He was a big mystery to me. What I felt for him was just too complex to analyze at that moment. "I..." _What?_

"Yes?" Bass waited until I spoke again.

"I don't have an answer." What happened with Carter taught me that playboys couldn't be trusted. Bass was one, too. If I thought Carter had an army of sluts in Los Angeles, Bass Cole had an army in every country.

Bass nodded. "Right, of course," he said in a clipped tone. He got up and left my bedroom. I stared at the closed door, wondering if he and I would ever come to a resolution.

# Chapter 31

"What is a good performance? It lies in the hands and head of a performer... the shortest way between two people is not a straight line."

~Earle Brown

The moon had just started to show when I arrived on set. Today we were filming the scene where Angela and Logan went for drinks at a local bar. The massage scene, where they initially meet, would be done tomorrow. I didn't know why it was done backwards. I just did as I was told.

I didn't know how it would play out with Bass tonight, especially since I didn't see him all day yesterday or this morning. My palms were sweaty and I was so nervous. The song, "Lose Yourself" __ by Eminem played in my head, _on repeat_ mind you. __ I just hoped I didn't get too nervous. The last thing I needed was to get choked up and be unable to utter a damn line.

The first scene we would be filming today was an encounter between Angela and Logan. It was in a bar which would lead them to the abandoned hut where they made love for the first time.

I had read through my lines and I knew them by heart... yet, I was still anxious. The thought of getting naked for the second scene tonight in the "abandoned hut" with Bass, made me want to faint.

I spun around when I heard someone approach me. "Emma? Hi! I'm Megan. Your hair and make-up team are ready for you."

I took her outstretched hand and followed her. I met the three people who were on my hair and make-up team–Stacy—hair, Gigi—clothes and body and Ants–short for Anton—make-up. They were all dynamic people and were excited that the shooting was finally about to start. And of course, they gushed and compared Dimitris and Bass. I stayed mum since I didn't have anything else to add. They pretty much said everything there was to be said about their hotness and their certain body parts, in great detail.

Ants shooed me away when I was done. The gay man's unique personality was very uplifting and he made me a little less nervous. When I came out, I saw Bass talking to a few actors that I recognized. He was laughing and joking around with them, but when our eyes met, his laughter died and he looked away.

So when Martin and the film crew indicated that we were about to start and the second assistant cameraman held the clapperboard, I zoned Emma out and channeled Angela.

After a few drinks with Angela, Logan started to become aggressive. His large hands were caressing her thighs as he whispered in her ear, "Does the rest of your body feel like silk?

Angela laughed and clutched his thigh. "You tell me. You were the one who gave me a massage earlier. Did you think it felt like silk then?"

Logan's hand took Angela's and made her touch his face. Slowly, he looked at her through his lashes and with parted his lips, he sucked on her middle finger. She gasped at his brazen approach, especially since they were at a bar.

"I want to taste your silk, Angela."

Angela just gave him a seductive smile. "You need to work a little harder than that, don't you think?"

For the rest of the evening, Logan tried to seduce Angela. When he took her for a midnight stroll on the beach, he knew he was going to have her. He wouldn't allow it to be any other way.

The clapperboard woman shouted, "And cut!"

Bass left without saying a word to me. I stared at him, lost in my thoughts and simmering at the infuriating actor.

We were moved to another location and that took another hour to set up. This, though, was a smaller crew since there was a lot of nudity involved. There were only a few people allowed inside the shack—the director, camera man, sound guy and a couple of women who would hand us our robes once the scene was over.

The dynamic trio—Ants, Stacy and Gigi—took my clothes off and applied some lotion that would make me glow and my hair and make-up was retouched. The most embarrassing part? I had to lie down and spread my legs wide open so Gigi could put the vaginal pastie on properly. It was just enough to cover where my entrance was located. She said she didn't want to have to redo it during the shoot. I was pretty sure I didn't want to _ever_ have to do this again. After a quick tousle of my hair, I was ready.

Wearing only a blue silk robe, I stepped out of the tent and went inside the shack. The rest of the crew would wait outside until the scene was done. I was told that this scene could take thirty minutes or up to two hours to shoot—depending on how many times we had to shoot it to get it right. Any amount of time I would have to spend with the asshat was unpalatable, given my agitated state.

Once in the shack, I was shocked to find Bass there in only a black silk robe that was slightly parted, showing off his hard chest. Not meeting his eyes, I swallowed hard. _I better freaking get it together before I humiliate myself._ I wished he would be at least nice to me; I wouldn't have had a mild panic attack.

The rustic room had candles lit around the bed giving the scene a romantic ambiance. We were ordered to stand in front of the bed and kiss until we made our way onto the bed. If Martin didn't like it, we had to redo it again and again until he was happy with it.

Standing with Bass, the robe ladies came over and took them away from our bodies. My nipples tightened at the sudden feel of air against my flushed skin. I stared at everything other than Bass, but I could still feel him watching me.

When the clapperboard woman stood up, I forced myself to suck it up. Bring it on, Bass Cole!

"In five, four..." The stage hand finished counting down with her hands in silence then pointed at us as the film began rolling.

Logan touched Angela's face, staring lustfully into her eyes and brushed his lips to hers. Once they started kissing, all hell broke loose. Without breaking their kiss, Logan had Angela on the bed in a matter of minutes. Parting her legs, he positioned himself on top of her as he kissed her to oblivion.

_Emma, what the fuck is going on. I can't breathe! OMG! Bass is fucking hard against me. OMG! Fuck!_

Logan slowly made love to Angela, showing her the delights of his body as he licked and kissed her neck all the way to her breasts.

Lost in each other's body, that night sealed Logan and Angela's fate.

"Cut!"

Immediately, the robe ladies came forth. Bass jumped out of the bed and took his robe. Before leaving the shack, he bent over and whispered in my ear, "It's my turn." Turn for _what?_ To be a fucking pain in the ass?

Son of a gun! I hated him! I fumed and left to change in the tent where the dynamic trio helped me dress and wished me goodnight.

Bass was beyond infuriating. His ice-cold indifference was driving me mental!

# Chapter 32

"Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink and your thirst increases."

~Chinese Proverb

When I got out of the dressing room, dressed in a short, thin-strapped cotton dress, I didn't see Bass anywhere. I was relieved and ticked off at the same time. What kind of game was he playing with me?

"It's my turn." _What the hell?_ Saying that he was frustrating was an understatement.

I spun around when I heard Martin behind me. "You did a splendid job tonight, Emma."

Now, I was blushing. "You think so? Thank you. That means a lot." He gave me a tired smile and tapped my shoulder.

"There's a thunderstorm coming in tonight, but it should be clear with sunny skies tomorrow. You should grab one of the rides and head safely to your cottage. Goodnight, Emma." With a quick wave, he and Jack walked off in a deep conversation.

Since we were on the other side of the island, a lot of the golf carts were here. When I got close to where the carts were parked, I made a last minute decision and decided to walk. It would take me longer to get to the cottage, but I needed the walk to clear my head. There was no way for me to get lost as long as I stayed on the sandy path that led to the cottages.

I took my sandals off before I started walking back and I reveled in the feel of sand between my toes. The sky let out a loud, angry grumbling sound. The weather certainly matched my mood.

I was stuck with thoughts of Bass and my brain wouldn't shut down. My mind kept skipping back to our kiss like a broken vinyl record. It kept flashing and playing in my mind. _The kiss with Bass._ Just the thought of it gave me shivers. Kissing Bass for the first time tonight, even though fake, felt so fucking real to me. I trembled in his arms and I felt like I was being lifted off into another dimension. The raw feel of his bare chest against my breasts felt too delicious. His evident hard-on against my mound felt like paradise.

I wanted him so badly it had become a distraction, but I was hesitant and cautious. I just didn't know what to do about him. Would it be wise to cross that line with Bass? He was such a lothario–hadn't I just dealt with Carter and his man-whoreness? As disconcerting as it was to me, at the same time, I was euphoric. What was it about sexy bad boys that was just too _hard_ to resist? The heart-pounding chase, the frustrating game and the cataclysmic surrender... it was like no other.

I rubbed my arms gently while I strolled leisurely. My skin felt damp on my hand, my body sheened with sweat. My long hair felt flat, almost losing its volume. After what seemed like two and half hours of shooting different scenes with a few that had to be reshot three times, it was no wonder I felt drained.

There were no stars or moon tonight and the sky was dark. The clouds hung low and another loud grumbling sound warned me of the storm that was coming. Most of the cottages I passed were still dark since most of the people staying in them were on the film crew, and they were still back at the set. I walked faster and sighed with relief when my cottage came into view. _Where was Bass?_ I wondered when I saw that the cottage was completely dark.

I gathered my hair and tucked it over my right shoulder before I stepped on the four-step, pebble-cemented stairs. Once on the patio, I dropped my sandals next to the sliding glass door and shook some of the sand off my feet. Once done, I let myself in the darkened cottage. Now, where were the light switches located? It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the living room.

"What took you so long?" I jumped from the unexpected sound of his voice.

"Bass?"

I was rooted to the spot when I saw him stride towards me, wearing only his worn out jeans. They hung low on his hips, showcasing that sexy v-line. His rock hard, perfectly contoured body stood inches away from me. My throat constricted when I heard his shallow breathing. The words of Alexander Pushkin, the Russian poet floated in my head as I met my fate and looked him straight in the eye.

_Then came a moment of renaissance, I looked up - you again are there, A fleeting vision, the quintessence Of all that's beautiful and rare._

The world around me got smaller. At that very instant, it consisted only of Bass. My body was heightened and apprehensive, every hair standing on end. My nipples tightened acutely, painfully.

When his finger lightly touched the curve of my cleavage, I closed my eyes as my body tilted a bit. My ears started ringing as my heart galloped with lightning speed. I felt drunk with lust and itched to be touched. I wanted to be possessed, marked, fucked and owned by him. I craved it. My body craved it. My soul craved it.

With my eyes closed, all of my senses centered on him. "It's my turn, Emma," Bass murmured. My eyes snapped open when I felt him rip the delicate strap on my right shoulder. "My turn to claim this sinful body of yours," he ground out before he ripped the other strap.

My dress pooled to my feet. When my eyes finally met his again, Bass looked dangerous. The sweet-talking Bass that I knew last year was gone. My body, though, didn't care. It responded with an electrifying intensity when his eyes found my breasts. They felt heavy, my nipples peaked.

His fingers grabbed the side of my thong and ripped the scrap off my body. I gasped from the slight sting I felt when it chafed my skin. At the same time, my body exalted with excitement. I felt hot liquid dripping slowly from my core in anticipation. Without breaking eye contact, he took off his pants. My teeth bit my bottom lip when I saw his fat cock spring free. _Wow_ , my eyes simply couldn't stop devouring the impressive size of his erection. I felt raunchy and downright nasty. On cue, his eager phallus twitched from my appraisal.

Bass started stroking his length, slowly, up and down, while I watched it grow bigger. His hardness was stretched to capacity, evidence of his fervid arousal. I was unprepared when Bass used his fingers to pinch my pebbled nipple and twisted it. Upon releasing it, he lightly slapped my breast. Oh, fuck! Pleasure bordering on pain coursed through me. My mound quivered as I clenched my thighs together. I wanted to have sex and get it over with! This foreplay was killing me!

"What are you waiting for Bass? Where do you want me?" my voice pleaded like the horny, wanton woman that I was. He let go of his cock and caressed my neck. In soft, excruciating strokes, he touched my jaw and stopped on my lips.

Bass gave me an evil smile. "Kiss me, Emma."

God, yes! Wetting my lips slowly, I pulled his arm and pushed him hard against the wall. It was my turn now.

Pressing my fevered body against his hard masculine one, I hastily pulled his face towards me. His hands wrapped around me while I cupped his jaw. I wanted to eat those lips of his like there was no tomorrow since he had deprived me of it for so long. However, when our lips touched for the second time tonight, the animalistic kiss I expected turned slow and sweet. Ever so lightly, he used the tip of his tongue to open my mouth to him. I kissed him with every feeling that I felt, everything that I believed in and everything that was in me. The sweet slow kisses tilted my axis. He was my kismet.

I moaned against him when he sucked on my tongue. I ran my nails down his back, grazing him. Bass shifted our positions and had me against the wall instantly. With our lips kissing and our tongues sparring, he swiftly lifted me up. He shoved me, pinning me against the wall while my legs clutched his hips. His cock twitched when it touched my wet folds. I used my hips to grind my parted folds against the tip of his shaft, but he lifted me upwards, not wanting my pussy to touch his penis.

"Bass... I can't wait anymore." With strength and determination, Bass carried me to the outdoor canopy bed. He hovered over me and I just wanted to die from the electrifying feel of him.

The loud clapping of thunder broke out in the background, but I was beyond caring about anything other than this man. I felt him lower his body and part me wide open, both heels on the bed. Bass stuck two fingers inside me while his tongue teased my nub and folds. I whimpered when his ministrations became fervent and I couldn't stand the feeling. I sat up and pulled his lips to mine and kissed him while he finger fucked me. I felt the first drop of rain on my shoulder, but it didn't stop us. Rain couldn't stop me, not even a storm.

The smell of him and the feel of his heat were overwhelming my senses. I was rapturous. I licked the raindrops, which were coming in sideways, off Bass's neck and sucked on his earlobe.

"Emma, I want you _so_ fucking much," he hissed.

Bass moaned when I started to go down on him, biting and nipping his skin. Without the help of my hands, I lowered my mouth to capture the thick throbbing head of his cock. My tongue made slow impassioned circular motions, before I hollowed my cheeks to take him deeper. With the way Bass was hissing and moaning, I didn't care if I gagged or not, as long as I was pleasuring him. I loved watching this man become undone by my mouth alone.

Relaxing my throat, I took him deeper and he hit the back of my throat. "Fuck, Emma!" Bass hissed in between pants.

_Excellent_ , _I'm not finished with you yet_. I thought silently. I quickly shook my head as his member swiftly shot back and forth in my mouth, the tip of his shaft sensitive to the ridged muscles on the back of my throat. I used my hand to pull his ball sack as my tongue spiraled along with my bobbing head. Bass groaned before he pulled me off of his cock.

He stood up, pulled me out of the bed and guided me to the cemented railing. "Spread your legs open, bend over and rest your elbows on the rail," he commanded. I sucked in a breath. All this anticipation was driving me insane. I felt him behind me. "You're so beautiful, Emma. You've been my living nightmare," Bass hissed in my ear as he stuck his fingers inside of my hot, hungry channel again. My ass pushed down on his hand. _I wanted more_ , dammit! I closed my eyes and concentrated on the glorious feeling his fingers were giving me.

"How does your pussy like to be fucked, Emma?"

At this point, he could do as he pleased. "It doesn't matter."

Bass's deep, fuck me voice broke into my thoughts again. "You're so tight, Emma. Do you think your pussy can handle my cock?" I shook my head in response. No, I didn't think so, but I didn't care. "Do you want me to rip you apart? Make this sweet, little pussy stretch while you wince in the pain with pleasure it will give you?"

"YES! PLEASE!" I begged.

The rain hadn't stopped and we were both soaked. My pussy was soaked and out of control. I groaned in agony when I felt his other hand circle around my anus. What was he waiting for? I was way past ready.

The thunder rumbled again, a little longer this time. His lips pressed against my back when I heard him, "I will fuck you on one condition, Emma."

I stilled. "What condition?"

"You give me your body the entire time we are here, _day and night_. I want it available to me at all times. No one else gets to touch it, but me. Allow me to fuck my addiction of you, in your mouth and in your sweet cunt. I want sole ownership, Emma." I felt him withdraw his fingers and position the tip of his fat cock on my entrance.

FUCK! ME! Damn you.

Us together for four months, day in and day out. What happened when we got back to L.A.? Would we be friends or foes? _Do you really want to think about that right now?_ I think not. "Yes..."

My eyes widened and my mouth opened when I felt his large cock pierce me with one hard, obliterating thrust. "Perfect answer, you are mine now."

Even with all of my abundant wetness, he had a hard time sliding it all the way home. "Hell, Emma. If I had known you'd feel like this, I wouldn't have let you go," Bass muttered as he took hold of my hips and forcefully took me harder, filling me to the brim. I felt the sting of my pussy being ripped apart and stretched open painfully, but the overwhelming ecstasy it gave me in return was breathtaking.

"Open your eyes and look ahead. Don't ever tear your eyes away until we're done." I nodded and opened my eyes. The Aegean Sea was dark and foreboding. Black thick clouds rumbled and terrifying bolts of lightning lit up the sky. The thunderstorm was dangerous and beautiful; Mother Nature at her finest. My body shook when Bass started to pound his cock into me harder. I cried out when he slapped my ass, _hard_. "Keep staring at the tumultuous, thrilling beauty of nature in its rawest, pure, majestic form. This is what you do to me. You are like a thunderstorm. This is how I feel about you."

I sobbed in pleasure when Bass turned manic and furious. Fuck! He was monstrous. Every stroke was a new hit of sensation. It was madness, but it still wasn't enough.

"Bass, I'm losing it here. Just fucking finish me off already because I don't think I can take this anymore!"

Without a word, he placed his hand around the back of my neck, gave me one last powerful thrust and shattered me. I screamed as my orgasm annihilated me. My body took what he gave until he couldn't hold off any longer. I clenched my muscles to heighten his orgasm more as he shot his load inside my womb. My body quivered when his cock pulsated inside of me. _Wow,_ that was mind-altering sex. I couldn't believe I had passed this up.

He kissed my shoulder and pulled out. I happily sagged against him as he carried me inside the house and went straight to my bedroom. Standing, he grabbed a towel and dried me first, then him.

"I know we should shower, but I want to be close to you for a little bit longer." He pulled me towards the bed, his big arms enveloped me.

"Bass?" I've been dying to know.

"Hmm?" He responded, holding me tighter.

"What did you mean when you said you wouldn't have let me go?"

His fingers kept stroking the side of my arm, I loved being with him. "That last night in my bed, I wanted to tighten my arms around you and never let you leave me."

HUH? "What do you mean? You were asleep." I even remember saying he was in a deep coma-like sleep. I remembered it clearly... like it had just happened yesterday.

"I wasn't."

No fucking way. Was he serious? "You looked like you were asleep."

"I'm an actor, Emma." Damn.

"But why did you let me go then, if you clearly didn't want to?"

He took a while responding. I listened to his heartbeat while I waited. "You needed me to let go of you at the time. Carter was in your life, but even with or without him, I felt that you needed to find your own happiness. I didn't want to sacrifice your happiness for my own." _Shit. What does any of that mean? That he cares for me... a lot?_

"So... a thunderstorm, huh? I don't know how to take that."

Bass kissed the back of my earlobe. "You simply struck me without warning." I melted and burned like hot molten lava. He started nipping my neck as he rolled his body on top of mine.

"I want you again, Bass," I moaned as I opened my legs to accommodate him and guided his semi-aroused cock into my entrance.

"Emma," he whispered against my ear when his head penetrated me. I moaned at the sore, pleasurable feel.

He felt so... _so good!_

"Don't make me fall for you, Emma."

"You won't." I cried out when he entered me roughly. I glorified at the feel of him. Yes!

Bass started kissing the side of my face and my earlobe. Then he whispered, "What if it's already too late?"

"When feelings of abandonment and betrayal arise with a soul mate, they do not last. Once soul mates achieve an ultimate level of symbiosis and serenity with each other, it remains forever."

~Linda Brady

# The Torn Series Order

Read the next two books for **FREE :**

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**Scornfully Yours** (Emma)

**Scornfully Hers** (Carter)

**Frayed** (Trista)

**Blasphemous** (Emma)

**Undeniably Yours** (Bass Cole)

**Scorned** (Lindsey)

**Fixated On You** (Emma)

**Unveiled** (Lindsey)

**Crushed** (Amber)

**Undeniably Us** (Bass Cole)

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# Also by PAMELA ANN

⚜ **Bartered: The Encounter Trilogy**

**read book one for free**

**H ugo Xavier**, a French playboy hell-bent on possessing Isobel, a gorgeous Greek pauper. Set in Monaco, this is a story about a man who had it all but his past ensures he couldn't acquire what he yearned the most...and a woman, whose heart wasn't up for bargaining, no matter the cost.

A tug-of-war of seduction, of wills, of pride. A whirlwind affair that will change both of their lives forever.

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⚜ **Unapologetic: read book one for free**

Love. Chaos. Pure. Utter. Madness. A story about two orphans who made a pact. Star-crossed lovers both meant to shine. Add a hefty dose of jealousy and betrayal, it's the ultimate recipe for disaster. Revenge...could it really be the sweetest of sins?

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⚜ **THE TORN SERIES: read book one for free**

Set in a quaint college town of Santa Barbara, California...meet the vivacious four: Emma, Lindsey, Trista and Amber. Four best friends who fell in love with irresistible bad boys who pushes their buttons, challenges them to a point of madness and loves like no other.

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⚜ **THE CHASING SERIES: read book one for free**

An orphan at the age of seven, there was one thing that Sienna Richards didn't do easily--give her heart. When Sienna left for London to study, she was taken aback when Kyle cheated. Hurt and betrayed, Sienna decided to fly back to LA to confront him. Deflated and aggrieved, Sienna was surprised when her very good friend, the magnetic and aristocratic Blake Knightly, seemed to be determined to have her. Blake was relentless but will not settle until he gets ALL of Sienna.

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⚜ **Pieces of You & Me:read book one for free**

This book is about first love and heartbreak. A great push and pull dynamic between Greyson and Olivia, sworn enemies but somehow ended up tolerating each other since their parents began dating.

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⚜ **The Guardian: A Standalone Novel**

A story about a man fighting off palpable connection between the woman he's fated to be with.

A journey about loss, friendship and above all, falling madly in love.

An heiress and a man set to take over her father's company.

Arranged marriage.

Two stubborn and equally vindictive characters.

Stifling sexual tension.

A push-and-pull maddening, combustible chemistry.

A war of words-of love-bringing them to the brink of insanity.

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# I ♥️ Heart Sexy Reads

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**Read the first 5 chapters of Pamela Ann's newest series, Unapologetic attached below**

## 33

# UNAPOLOGETIC

**A PREVIEW**

## 34

# PROLOGUE

### TEN YEARS AGO

Being unwanted was a sufferance I was familiar with. It hounded me from the moment I was born and every waking moment since. No one really wanted me—not even my parents. My mother was so aghast that she took her own life—dying was much more a comfort than taking care of the baby she bore.

As a child, I learned how to mask my emotions. Though shattered and broken inside, the mask I wore protected me from inquisitive eyes, especially from those who lavished on inflicting pain. Even though I was only eleven years old, I had learned that showing emotions made people uncomfortable, fickle, and they would use it to their advantage, as a weapon against you. In the end, it was best to stay guarded, grounded, and unmoved from the madness of my environment. It was what I did best, the unperturbed, emotionless Cara Quinn.

"Hello, I'm Mattie, and this is my husband Tony. You'll be living with us from now on."

Hesitant with this new acquaintance, I glanced toward Lisa, the social worker, who gave me a warm encouraging smile.

"Hello," I murmured back as I scrutinized the middle-aged woman. She had a warm smile, as did her husband, but they all had that warm and sunny façade in the beginning, so I was holding my reservation.

This had been the third home I had been transferred to. A place where kids who weren't adopted came to for a last chance of normalcy of what they call "home."

Even at the tender age of eleven, I knew adults couldn't be trusted. The last home proved that. Had it not been for Lisa's prying and poking, the abuse would have continued. It was a horror of a place where the wife turned a blind eye on her husband's rage and sadistic tendencies. She had once reasoned that had I not been in the picture, she would be the one on the firing line. Therefore, it had been better me to get the beating than ruin her delicate face. It had been the main and sole reason she had taken me in—to save herself.

"We prepared lunch for your arrival, sweetheart," Mattie interrupted my thoughts as she took hold of my hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze before guiding me toward the living room where she had placed a small feast on the glass coffee table.

I quietly ate my mac and cheese while Lisa and the Shaws discussed me. This was a process I was so accustomed to that I became immune to it. So, while they chatted, I was lost in thought, before a small boy waved at me from out of nowhere, sporting an infectious smile from the across the room. Then he quickly disappeared out in the garden. I assumed the other kids were out playing as well because, coming from the squeals and laughter, they seemed to be having great fun. As the fun grew louder out back, Mattie Shaw encouraged me to step outside and join them while they finished up the paperwork.

The woman seemed so sincere that I was a little shocked to find myself walking toward the garden. The kid I saw earlier spotted me immediately, hastily gunning toward where I rigidly stood, awkward and unsure.

"I'm River." He showed perfectly even teeth with a dimple on his left cheek. "Will you be my new playmate?"

I wasn't much of a friendly person, and I liked keeping to myself, but for some odd inexplicable reason, I somehow didn't want to disappoint and ignore him.

"I don't play well with other kids."

It had happened after I had gotten bullied and blamed for all the other kids' faults. Somehow, the adults never believed me when I reasoned that I didn't cause broken furniture, setting the playhouse on fire, or stealing money from their wallets. I had done none of those, yet I had gotten all the blame. River looked like he would be the same type of troublesome kid that would get me moved to another home. You see, kids got very territorial when they felt threatened if the administrator or the foster parents became keen on the new kid.

Two boys and one girl, who were also in the backyard, didn't come over and introduce themselves as River had. Instead, they warily watched me, studying me like a new animal in the kingdom.

Withdrawing from their austere faces, I went back inside without bothering to say good-bye to any of them, including River.

While the adults busied themselves, I politely asked where my new room would be. Lisa had previously informed me that I would be sharing a room with another girl, so that mean-looking kid would be my roommate. Hopefully, she would stay out of my way, because I abhorred drama and the nauseating squeals of pubescent teens.

After a short description of where my room was located, I carried the small duffel bag in my hand that consisted of all of my belongings. Stopping at the opened door, I glanced about the peach colored room. The size was bigger than what I was used to, the ambiance warm and inviting. Mrs. Shaw even had rainbow decals on the walls to make the room bright and welcoming.

I strode toward the opposite side of the room where the plainly laid out lavender colored bed was situated against the wall. The other girl's bed had all sorts of dolls on it. I found myself staring at it, wondering why girls bothered playing with dolls. They were eerie and ordinary. Why waste time on something boring?

Drawing my eyes away from the display of girly stuff, I placed my bag on the bed and began to pull my clothes out. Piece by piece, I hung them while tiptoeing on a chair, when I lost my balance and roughly landed flat on the floor.

I heard River enter the room, yet I was too ashamed to meet his gaze. My eyes watered, but I steeled myself from shedding any tears. It was my first day here, and if they witnessed how weak I was by proving that I was a crybaby, I wouldn't last long.

The thought of moving again made me ill. And for some reason, after witnessing how Mattie and Tony interacted with the other kids, their concern and warmth seemed sincere enough. I wanted to be a part of that, even just for a little while before I was moved again.

Unexpectedly, River sat next to me on the floor then set his little, dirty hand on mine. "I'll hold your hand until you're okay."

For a kid, he was different. I never thought I could be friends with anyone, but it seemed I found one in him.

"Thank you for being so kind to me." Shyly glancing at him, my stomach felt warm when I saw that particular dimple of his when he broke into a smile.

"You're family now, so we always have to look out for each other," he stated softly, like it was something to believe in, something to fight for.

I sat there, gazing around at my new surroundings and, for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged somewhere.

## 35

# CHAPTER ONE

Tonight had been much more of a success than I had ever anticipated. All the waitressing and odd jobs I had to work, sacrificing ungodly hours just to get by living in this expensive city while chasing my ambition had finally come to fruition.

The night air was crisp, still, and dangerously inviting. It cleared my senses from the stifled surroundings I had been in moments before. Heaving out a breath of relief, I stared at the darkened hills surrounding me as images of my struggles flashed before my very eyes, leaving a yearning for something I had lost. This was my dream come to life. Yet, it didn't feel as good as I had imagined. It should have been sweet, triumphant even, but somehow, it lacked those gratifying aspects.

The stellar reviews for the online streaming show was plentiful, but as much as I wanted the praises, I didn't know how to handle it. Obviously, it wasn't a mammoth success compared to blockbuster films. However, shows with well-thought-out plots and an outstanding cast were being recognized through the recent years more than ever. Not to mention, it was an amazing platform to show one's craft and potential.

I was lucky to have been casted in _Clover_ , surrounded by people with like-minded souls. I couldn't ask for anything more. I was happy, enthralled. Amongst it all, however, I couldn't deny the blatant fact that something was amiss.

Feeling beyond dejected, I considered heading back inside to rejoin the party, when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck spring to life. This meant _one_ thing and one thing only.

He had finally found me. He was here.

We were entwined in almost psychic ways. And God help me, after two years of absence, the pull was just as powerful as I had remembered.

Biting back a disgruntled groan, I remained unmoving, composed and immobile, waiting with bated breath for him to break the charged silence that seemed to choke the life out of me.

"Cara Quinn, I've found you at last. Congrats on the new show, by the way."

Ah, Satan had definitively arrived.

I had often wondered how long it would take him to seek me out once those promotional billboards were plastered all over Sunset Boulevard. It didn't surprise me that he had shown up for the show's party. This was, after all, his oyster, and I had just stepped into it. His glittering jungle of beauty, vanity, and narcissism.

River Ellis was Hollywood's newly minted favorite bachelor. Dangerously handsome with his dark looks, equipped with a chiseled body and a stellar ability to act with profound complexity. Not to mention, he could sing in a deep, throaty voice that went straight into one's soul. He was the ultimate package, so it wasn't a shock that he had made it in this industry without breaking a stride.

His supporting role in a major production film was his huge breakout into the star he was today. He simply had it in him. He was born for this acting lifestyle; whereas I, it had to be thoroughly developed through drama classes. And of course, with the help of Mrs. Newell.

Nevertheless, he was just River to me. The man I grew up with in a group home, the one who had protected me when I was bullied, the one who I had loved with my entirety yet had let me down in all ways possible. And he was one of the reasons I came here... just so I could prove my worth, to him and to myself.

Pressing my lips together, I spun to face the man I had loved with no rhyme nor reason once upon a time. River Ellis still looked gorgeously lethal, but I knew better.

Instead of the usual heart palpitation and breathlessness I was so accustomed to whenever we were together, this time around, I felt nothing. My heart didn't jump for joy. It was cold, cold as ice, though I could swear that, if he kept roving those hawk eyes all over me, I would thaw out.

"Why bother coming here at all? If you're here to taunt or mock me, I'm not in the mood." I wanted to easily dismiss him so he could leave me be. Knowing how the man functioned, though, he wasn't going away just because I shooed him off. No, this man was as stubborn as they came. Just like Satan, he was sinful, just as deceiving, and ruthless to the core.

Through the blanket of darkness, I could see his eyes peruse me, studying me with blistering intensity, like I was some unique specimen. My daring black cutout dress made me feel naked when those laser-like eyes roamed over my body.

"They did say success sometimes makes people bitchy. Don't let it get to your head, Cara. You're better than that."

His distasteful retort didn't rile me up. It left me more guarded.

"Thanks for the lecture, but I must get back inside," I said while giving him a death glare. "Enjoy the party."

River's dark eyes sought me out. I could feel his anger vibrating against the energy between us. It was charged, as suffocating as it was threatening. "I came back for you, Cara, but you were gone," he hissed out between clenched teeth. "You up and left without warning."

_Why?_ I wanted to interrupt, but I didn't bother. Whatever for? Why make the effort? After he had strung me along for a future that had never happened, I saw no point harping on the past. Life was less complicated without him in it. And I wanted it to stay that way. If he had any designs in keeping me in his life while he pranced around tinsel town, hopping from one bed to the next, he could think again. I had no desire in being part of his long list of harem.

"You've congratulated me, and I thank you for that, but honestly, River, I have nothing else to say to you. Goodnight." I gestured for him to step aside, meaning to walk away from him, but he hastily grasped my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

"You can dismiss me all you like, but you can't run from me forever. I've found you after almost two years without hearing from you, Cara. Don't be stupid to think that I'm easily going to let you go. No. Not this time. Never again."

I wasn't his property. I could do as I pleased. Those days were long gone. He had me, and what had he done? He royally messed it up like any playboy would. Idiot me had eaten up whatever promises he had thrown my way. That naive girl had long since died, along with our wretched memories.

Recalling how he had mistreated me stung to no end. For some time, I had been relieved to have escaped them—him. Now it seemed that it was time to face the tune of my past.

Scrutinizing him with pure and unreserved disdain, I stood my ground and found strength to fight fire with fire. "Not let me go, River?" I questioned with disbelief. "I'm with Parker now. I've replaced you, just as you thoughtlessly did me."

His grip on my arm tightened, clearly stung by my words. "No matter what you think and believe, I've never forgotten you, Cara. Not for a moment... Not by any means."

If his purpose was to disarm me, he had better try again.

"It's much too late for any of that."

Once upon a time, hearing him utter those words would have made me run back to him in a heartbeat, but a lot of time had passed. Now, I could honestly admit that I was immune to his empty promises. That was all he could ever offer me, nothing more.

"I need to get back inside. Parker will be looking for me soon."

He looked perplexed as he held his breath, staring down at my determined face. He was so close I could feel the warmth from his body, slowly breaking down my barriers. His sex appeal was unparalleled. He radiated potent sex, and as much as I hated to confess it, he still affected me. Undoubtedly, he was still the sexiest man I had ever gazed upon. At that slight admission, an unwelcomed tremor zinged all over my body. _Ugh, not now_. Damn hormones.

"Meet me sometime later, just this once... to talk. Nothing more, I promise." His voice was low and steady, while his body was in complete restraint, trying to hold back from something. It reminded me of a caged animal; ready to pounce.

"And why would I be so stupid as to do that?" _Talk? He meant closure, right?_ Surely, I could handle finally closing the lid on my past? But I wasn't too sure, not when he could demand my body's attention by simply gazing at me.

"Because we owe it to each other, and to the seven years of _love_ and friendship we shared," he stated resolutely, with an acute emphasis on the word "love," as though I were too dense not to comprehend.

Oh yeah, love. He spoke so freely of the word that I thought he knew what it entailed. Apparently not.

River was going to dredge up everything—the good, the bad, and the downright rotten. I sensed it. I knew him enough to know that he wouldn't hold anything back.

_What would he try to prove?_ I worriedly wondered. He had been the one to leave the relationship. Although he wouldn't fully admit it, he had mentally checked out the moment he selfishly began choosing decisions that affected the both of us. Ones that had left me in tatters, emotionally unstable and physically insecure. I'd had no one—no parents, no family to speak of—so for him to stab at the very core of my instability made me realize that being his side piece wasn't going to cut it. I'd had to save myself, and that was what I did. And now that I had accomplished it, here he was, marching back into my domain and threatening to ruin the fine threads that held me together.

River never did like rejection, and I could bet my life that this weighed heavily on his ego.

Though he was being emotionally manipulative, if this would get him to leave me alone, then I would meet with him. One must face and slay their demons at some point in their life. This was my chance. Besides, deep down, I knew I had prepared myself for this very moment.

I comforted myself that I was truly done with him. As long as I kept that in mind, I was safe from River Ellis's selfish grasp. Top it off with the fact that Parker and I had just begun dating, I didn't need the ghost of my past ruining anything with my new budding relationship. Knowing how River was, it would be wise to settle scores with him now than let this fester to a point where it would be difficult for me to read him. There were shades of his anger I was familiar with, and right this instant, I could see that as long as I held my ground, his intentions, good or bad, were going nowhere.

"Fine then. Where do you want to meet?"

"Give me your number; I'll text it to you."

The last thing I needed was for him to get ahold of my number, yet I begrudgingly gave him each digit at a time as he keyed in my information with furrowed brows.

"It's in the valley. It's about half an hour drive from here. Take a cab or even Uber, but don't you dare get behind the wheel. You're beyond the legal alcohol limit."

My breath gave it away, though I wasn't even drunk. I was so sober I could count backward. Regardless, I wasn't going to argue. My nerves wouldn't dare allow me to drive. Calm was my exterior, but internally, I was all sorts of chaos deep inside.

Disconnecting from his penetrating, dark eyes, I glanced around at the throng of people happily chatting away, unaware of my discomfort.

Just as I was about to revert my gaze back to the unyielding man next to me, Parker came out, eyes scanning the outside crowd on the patio. The second he found me in an intimate conversation with River, his face contorted in blatant confusion.

I smiled nervously at my curious and impatient boyfriend, hoping to ease some of the tension written all over him before I gestured that I would join him in a moment. Then, reverting my attention back to the man next to me, I gave him an impertinent look.

"I'll be there at half past midnight or so."

River's eyes were glued on where Parker stood, looking deadly. "Come alone, Cara," he vehemently gritted out. "And don't keep me waiting."

Calling the shots now, was he? I would arrive on my own terms. I wasn't going to do his bidding. Never again.

"I have to go," I reiterated before giving him a last deadpan look. "I'll arrive whenever I fancy. No one tells me what to do." And with those parting words, I sashayed away from him and back into Parker's arms.

## 36

# CHAPTER TWO

Parker and I didn't leave the party until midnight. And just as anticipated, he was curious as to why River Ellis sought me. I quickly told him that I previously met his acquaintance, but Parker wasn't easily convinced. And the more he pressured me about the subject, the more reluctant I was in divulging. He felt threatened, maybe jealous even, and I understood his feelings. He had every right to it. Nevertheless, the right time to address it wasn't now. Firstly, I had to close this chapter before making things more serious with Parker.

He and I had barely begun dating a month ago. I admit I was still getting accustomed to dating again. Pressuring me wouldn't do him any favors. Call it defensive mechanism, but I wasn't going to immediately open up when he and I were still in the process of getting to know one another. My barriers were tightly secured, and my guard was almost impenetrable. If he wanted to be with me, Parker needed to understand that it would take time for me to come around. Hopefully, he was patient enough to wait for me.

He wasn't the first man I had dated after River, but apart from the rest of the lot, Parker actually was the closest man whom I felt I could have a real relationship with. So, I obviously wouldn't want to lose him, _but_ I wasn't ready to reveal myself and the gargantuan baggage that followed me around, either.

It took every ounce of persuasion to have Parker not join me inside my apartment when he dropped me off. His persistence to take it to the next level had been more apparent lately. Rushing into physical intimacy wasn't something I planned. However, I believe that once tonight was through, I would be more pliable to the idea.

Ridding my life of River wouldn't be a hardship. We needed closure; that was all. His dating life was colorful like a kaleidoscope. He had all the ripe pickings to whomever he fancied, and I doubted he had any inclination in making that bright, sparkly life dulled by rekindling things with me. Therefore, I had nothing to worry about on that front... Or so I reassured myself with.

Pressed for time, I hadn't bothered changing when I requested for a ride to pick me up. Enclosed in my scarcely decorated one-bedroom apartment in Santa Monica, I stood in the middle of the living room, terrified out of my wits. My heart ached as I tried to squash the memories that endangered to overrule my senses.

"No," I angrily hissed out. "No tears, damn you."

Letting out a sigh, I took a moment to gain my composure, reassuring myself with the truth—that this man had his multiple-layered array of cakes and he ate it with gusto, without a thought of repercussions or what his actions would eventually do to me. The only thing I could do was think positive thoughts. Once tonight was over, River would have no right to hound my conscience any longer.

"I, alone, can set the path to my future and my own happiness. River can't take that away from me, too."

On a mission to calm my nerves, I went into the kitchen and made myself a whiskey sour; reinforcements to amp my courage were always welcomed. The strong, sweet and sour drink would encourage my disheartened circumstance.

The Uber driver dropped me off at the location River had texted me. After murmuring my thanks to the kind driver, I paused, catching my breath, as I stood outside the pavement, exhilarated and unsure of what to do next.

His home was in a secluded and quiet neighborhood, a complete distinction from life in the city where everything and anything was correlated to tinsel town. It made me wonder why he chose to live away from it all. I supposed the Spanish villa with its abundant rows of vibrant hydrangeas would entice anyone to live here. It stung to realize that he chose my favorite flowers to adorn his beautiful home.

"Bastard," I muttered under my breath while my eyes heated at the very sight of them. If there was any doubt, rest assured, I loathed every ounce of the man.

For so long, I had rehearsed this scenario in my mind, but it never quite played out this way—with me seeking him out on his own turf. My hands became clammy as my thoughts procured each god-awful scenario in my head. Tough he might be, but he had never laid a finger on me, not to hurt me.

I recalled those dark, penetrating eyes flaying my soul, accusing. He would demand answers, and give them, I shall... even if rehashing the past threatened to undo the very fine stitching I had sewn in my once fragile, shattered heart.

Treading onto the massively flattened stone pathway leading toward the entrance to his home, I then hastily pressed the doorbell before I convinced myself to walk away and wish him hell-bound.

"Cara," he breathlessly greeted upon opening the door.

Dressed in black drawstring linen pants and the same colored muscle shirt, he was perfectly equipped for a fun night of torture. His hair was wet, freshly out of shower, smelling clean, overpowering my senses with his scented skin, seizing my inhibitions for a moment. It was the very same cologne I had gifted him when he had turned sixteen. He hadn't worn anything else since, apparently. Or maybe he was using every weapon at his disposal, I spitefully considered. After all, lust was a powerful tool to make one at an advantage. And the asshat knew what to use against me. Well, he could think again. His sexual prowess be damned.

It was a brilliant idea that I didn't change into something drab and remained in the same garment I had donned earlier. The tiny black dress perfectly matched his shameless intent. I knew him well enough to know that he intended to seduce me; play me for a lovesick fool. No more.

He hadn't changed; still beyond predictable. While I, on the other hand, _this_ new Cara, would give him a run for his money. If I played my cards right, I could very well walk out of here unscathed.

"Come on in." He gestured, stepping aside to let me in, probing eyes trained on me.

Not meeting his inquisitive gaze, I held my breath, bracing myself as I crossed the threshold.

Upon closing the door behind me, his blatant gawking became too much to bear.

"Stop staring at me like that!" I fumed, striking him with a venomous glare. I could very well slap him, but I didn't want him to realize that he was breaking through to me. He was already unbearable, and we had just begun. What the hell!

"I haven't seen you in years; what do you expect me to do, Cara? Kiss you, perhaps?" River asked as he tauntingly arched his brow at me. Before I could quip a retort, he broke into a smile. "It's good to know that you're still all fire, petal. I've always admired that about you."

_Petal_. The cheek!

"Don't you dare call me that! I'm not your petal. I'm not your anything. Not for a long time. And never again."

Insulted, River took a few steps and stood at full-height, forbidding, domineering with his trained eyes on me like a hawk to its prey. "You're going to make this hard, aren't you? You know just how I like it, Cara." He was measuring how far he could goad me, but I wasn't going to cave to his wretched tactics.

His words lingered, making me shudder at the thought of him taking me, right here, up against the wall, as he gripped my hips to meet his eager thrusts. It was how he took me the last time I saw him, silencing my tears with his kisses and believing that sex would cure the hollowness in my heart. It was a monumental moment because it was then that I had realized that sex wasn't enough anymore. It was, when I had quietly said my good-bye, unbeknownst to him.

"You tremble. I haven't even begun," he murmured, eyes longingly dropping to my lips, lingering, contemplating.

I could feel the heat permeating from him. It was pulling me, pulling us like a magnet.

"These lips kissed another man tonight. Something broke inside me when I saw that." There was undeniable sadness in his tone. "Did you know that the broken shards of a heart could still shatter even more into a tiny million pieces? Mine did after watching you with him. It drove me insane. I didn't know jealousy until I saw you with another man."

There was such conviction in his tone that I almost believed him. _Almost._

How long was he there spying on me before he finally made himself known?

"You pretend like you've been living a life of a saint. It took you a week after seeing me that last time to resume seeing Hailey Mavis again, and yet you speak of heartbreak? Don't think me a fool, River. Give me some credit. I was in love, not stupid." _Was there a difference?_ My stupid mind retorted. I doubted it.

"It was all contracted, just a pretend, as I have elaborated and explained to you before. Nothing happened with her. Well, not back then, anyway," he reasoned with the same lies he had fed me until I couldn't take it and vomited all of his deceit.

Contracted, probably. But there was something more. I knew it. My gut sensed it, and it had never failed me before. Something had been developing between them, and even if it weren't physical, I knew enough that he had some sort of attachment to her. My instincts hadn't been very far off, and in the end, he had proved me right.

"I'm sure it didn't take you long to remedy that problem." A lump of bile rose in the back of my throat. The thought of them together, to this day, still made me sick to my stomach. "My heart was never in question. It remained with you. It _remains_ with you," he vehemently swore. "Nothing's changed for me, Cara."

_No._ I indignantly shook my head in repulsion. He was just saying the right things so he could trap me back into his mangled ugly web of lies.

All my life, people had let me down time and time again. It was a mistake to trust him and believe he was any different from the people who had abandoned and left me because I wasn't good enough to be loved. My mother took her own life because she couldn't stand the sight of me. My father had up and left the country when he found out my mother was pregnant with me. My relatives thought I was an inconvenience, so they had handed me over to social services without a second thought.

It took me forever to give my heart to him, and in the end, what did he do? He proved that he was just like them—rotten to the core.

Hiding my damaged heart and the painful echoes from a lifetime of neglect that I had harbored ever since childhood, I blankly stared at the man whom I once thought the world of. "Do you honestly think that'll change things, River?" I hatefully spat at him. Fully ensconced in loathing and wrath, I longed to hurt him further, but violence would simply worsen things. "I've moved on. I'm over your brooding, self-centered playboy persona. Above all, you taught me that there are far better options out there."

A guttural sound vibrated off him. "Oh, so Parker Haynes is better than me, is that it?" He began to move, slowly circling me, commanding, menacing. "How long have you even known this guy? A few weeks? Months? We both know, Cara, that no man can love you the way I do."

Arrogant, overbearing fucker. I wasn't going to buy into his intimidating tactics.

Halting his tracks, we stood side by side, a breadth away from touching. I could feel his hot breath teasing the skin on my neck, but I determinedly gazed ahead, eyes penetrating, seeing nothing but him.

"Does he even know you're with me?" His low voice was measured, almost seductive.

Did he really think he had some importance in my life? Just because he had reached stardom, I was far from star struck. On the contrary, his name hadn't crossed my lips again until tonight.

"Why should he know about you, River? As far as everyone I know is concerned, you're nothing but a stranger to me." And that was how he should remain. A phantom from my past.

My response made him ground his teeth, trying his damnedest to contain his fury. "Is that what I am to you now, Cara?" He leaned closer, taking a whiff of my scent and making me hyperaware of his proximity. "A stranger?"

_You were my world... but I died the moment you betrayed me._ "It doesn't matter." I had mourned him as though he truly had died. For a year, I struggled to get it together. And the moment I did, I made a vow never to look back. Tonight was an exception, yet it wasn't an excuse to let him lull me into stupidity.

Firmly cupping my chin, he made me look at him. The second our eyes clashed, I immediately felt bereft, beyond troubled when I saw the evident pain that was unguardedly expressed in his dark, mesmerizing eyes.

"It matters to me. It matters a whole lot."

Swallowing the heavy lump in my throat, I licked my lips as tremors ran over me. "What do you want from me, River?"

Searching my depths, his lips parted while his eyes flickered back and forth, probing for some certainty, inching closer to me, to my heart. "You. Just you, again and again until my last breath."

I was immediately transported to a time when those words of promise whispered out of my own lips before I gave myself to him for the first time at the age of seventeen.

Numb from the immense wave of sadness, I felt the back of my eyes begin to sting, threatening to form tears. "We're done. We've been done. Let's end this amicably. Stop bringing up the old times; it's all in the past."

His hold of my chin tightened, face inching closer until his nose almost grazed mine. "Is it," he softly spoke against my lips slightly, brushing it with his, "ever really over?"

If River dared kiss me, my knees would harshly meet his golden twin nuggets. I would injure it until he was black and blue.

"Yes, it's really fucking over, in case the part where I shut you out of my life for the past two years wasn't clear enough for you, River. Spare me the nostalgia. I find it nauseating. Stop being hell-bent on trying something with me because it's OVER. Nothing you say or do will ever change it. I need you to quit it because I came here for closure and to have the good-bye that we never had. You just have to stop—"

"I'm still in love with you; is that so hard understand?" he violently declared, eyes sparking fire, charging the air between us with tension that was almost suffocating. "I love you, Cara," he stated again. And again.

I sort of laughed at his face with a bubbling hysteria threatening to break free. "That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard." Scoffing, I peered at him in disbelief. "You fucked your way around when you left. How can you claim to love me when you've bed hopped from bimbos to bombshells?" Though I had cut him out of my life, a sickening, sadistic side of me managed to follow every woman he had dated and been linked to since.

"You broke up with me. _You left_ without a word, without even a warning. I was devastated when you walked away. I didn't see it coming... The women who came after that, I guess, was my way of coping."

He had the gall. What a poor excuse for whoring around. If he had ever loved me as much as he claimed, he would have figured out a way to fight for me. Instead, he chose to console his penis.

"I'm sure it was," I bitterly derided.

"Admit it, Cara; isn't that exactly the same thing with what you're doing with Parker Haynes?" he chided, like we were now even.

I wanted to gouge his eyes out.

"How dare you! Parker's not like you. I made sure of that before giving in to him."

"From what I gathered, your relationship has barely started. And basing from what I know of you in the past, it'll take another year for you to give in, Cara... Or am I mistaken on that perception, too?"

This was an opportunity for me to prove just how much I wanted him to continue on the path he has been on for months on end, without me in it. "I am _with_ him. And no, Parker didn't need to wait a year to have me, because he's everything that I've ever wanted." It was a harmless white lie. River didn't have to know every aspect of my relationship with Parker. It was none of his business.

River thought otherwise.

Horror, agony, mixed with disbelief crossed his befallen face. He looked as though I had physically injured him. And when my gaze fell, I saw his hand shake. I wasn't sure if that was from anger or shock, but in all the years I had known him, I hadn't seen him this shaken.

"Had you not run away, we'd be married today. We said two years, remember?" A faint smile formed on his lips before he bore those saddened eyes on me again. His eyes misted as he longingly searched my face. "All those promises... The vow you gave to me..." he whispered. "I have to hear it, Cara. I have to see it come out of your lips. You have to tell me you don't love me anymore."

That was supposed to be today? What luck. With steel determination, I spoke the words he demanded of me. "I'm not in love with you, River."

Our eyes met. Green meeting his dark, impenetrable depths. Time stood still, absorbing each other, eyes mating, challenging.

"I don't believe you," he stated with certainty.

Sooner or later, he would realize that I meant each word.

"I wouldn't have moved on if I did. You know me better than anyone." There was no one in this world who knew me inside and out.

"We were best friends before we became lovers. Or is our friendship unsalvageable as well?"

His question took me aback.

"Friendship?" Aghast, I wasn't sure if he was serious. "Why would you want that?"

"Because you're the only family I have."

We had once promised that we would always have each other. No matter what happened in the future, we were each other's emergency person. I understood that our attachment had run deep, but for him to ask such a question after the tumultuous relationship we had, I wasn't sure how to respond. Obviously, I hadn't expected this.

"When you're ready, I guess. I don't want to pressure you right now."

He wanted to be friends? That entailed letting him in my life again. Too much had happened. The water was well under the bridge for me, but not for him.

"I'm sorry for everything, Cara. I never meant to hurt you while seeking out my dream. Someday, I hope you can forgive me." River took a step back. "I'm sorry, but I need a moment."

Dumbstruck, I barely nodded while watching him walk away in a mad rush. Where did he go? Should I take my leave since our conversation wasn't going anywhere?

Amidst contemplation, my curiosity got the best of me. There was no denying that this was out of my depth. He offered to salvage our friendship, but how did one rebuild that? It was like a coin; there were two sides, but it remained one. He was suggesting the impossible, yet for some reason, I wasn't obliged to take my leave and walk away just yet.

The only source of light came from somewhere down the hallway. However, I'd had enough illumination to grasp my surroundings. His house had all the makings of warmth and security a true home should have. Earth tones, a lot of wood adorned with just the right balance of masculinity without overpowering it.

The heel of my stilettos echoed in my wake as I trailed farther into his home. From the living room, the doors opened toward the gardens. It was vast with the mountains in the back looming in the dark. To the left, there was a veranda with a fire pit blazing brightly. There he stood, deep in thought, staring blankly into its flames with a lit cigarette between finger and thumb.

So, he smoked these days. Huh. What else was new with him?

Watching his dark form, I felt myself mesmerized, enthralled at this beautiful man with the growing stubble shadowing his chiseled jaw. From this vantage, he looked dangerous, and God help me, he was sexier than any man had the right to be.

Tight coils sprung from my abdomen, evident stirrings of arousal. In this regard, my attraction to him remained, unfailing and gravely more potent than I had ever felt before.

Compelled, I slowly made my way toward him, unable to tear my eyes away from the sight of him.

"I didn't think you lived this far out... knowing how busy you are these days."

River quickly glanced at me before looking back into the distance. "I have a place in Beverly Hills, but this is home; my quiet getaway from the craziness."

"You have a beautiful home. You've really made it happen." Embroiled with the past, a small shadow of a smile crossed my lips. Yes, I couldn't forgive him, but I couldn't deny how proud I was of him, either. He achieved much in the span of a few years.

"It was my first purchase after getting that first big paycheck."

"You worked hard. You deserve to have it all," I found myself saying before our gazes met and time stood still. My heart found its beat, slowly thrumming with life.

"Does he treat you well?" he murmured, breaking the momentary spell we were trapped in.

Dazed, I frowned. He was asking about Parker, wasn't he?

I couldn't do this. I should go and call it a night.

Licking my lips, I tightly held my red leather clutch. "It's getting late, I guess I'll see you around, River Ellis."

His eyes bore into mine, challenging me, though I wasn't sure with what.

I'd had enough.

I turned my back on him, withdrawing as I retraced my steps through the house. Pulling my phone out, I sought the app to request a ride back to my place in Santa Monica. Once finished, I slid it back inside my clutch.

Taking a deep nervous breath, I found myself in his kitchen. Then something struck me.

I froze while all air left my body. Horrified, I was paralyzed as my eyes scanned the area, landing on framed pictures of me, _of us_ , placed in random nooks around the kitchen. Had he just planted this? If he had, what a heartless, cruel thing to do. What was he playing at?

Just as I was about to rush outside to demand answers, I felt his presence behind me.

"Why!" I accusingly yelled at his face.

"This house was supposed to be a surprise for you. It was supposed to be our home, but you had already left. Mattie said she didn't know where you went. Of course I didn't believe her. Mattie was the closest thing we had to a parent, and you were close to her. She wouldn't tell me where you'd gone. I would've come for you had I known where you were. For days, weeks, I waited to hear... but nothing. You left me with nothing."

"I didn't want to be found." And I wanted to resurface once my sanity was restored, my heart glued back from the broken pieces.

In a few strides, he closed the gap between us. "We often argued and fought, but never in a million years did I consider cutting you off like that, Cara," he growled with animalistic look, seeming to restrain himself from wanting to shake me senseless. "Why did you do it?"

"Because I couldn't take how you were treating me, like some second-class doormat, a _secret doormat_ at that. That's why!" I spat back, matching his furor. "After the first movie, _The Viking Mercenary_ , became this monster success and you became this huge actor... the gossip and the need to hide our relationship because your management forbid you to make it known, I just couldn't deal with it. The jealousy ate me. Week after week, I would read up online, where you went, what you did, who you did it with. The truth and the lies, they all became my real."

"But I told you none of them were true! You knew how much I fucking loved you. God, I was going to marry you, Cara. How could you be so cutthroat and heartless to someone you pledged your heart to?"

Because it was the only weapon I had, and if I didn't use it, he would have found a way to leave me sooner or later to the glamorous women surrounding him.

"I'm sorry for leaving. Quite honestly, I didn't think it would affect you that much."

At that point, after he had missed my birthday and called to greet me a day after, I knew it was only a matter of time before he would have dispensed of me. I did us both a favor by doing it.

"You didn't think? It's very selfish of you to believe that I didn't care. You knew how hard it'll be, and you promised you'd stick by me through thick and thin, remember?"

As much as I hated showing weakness, my eyes started to water as I struggled to answer him. It took a minute or so until I snapped out of my poignant trance before I opened my clutch and pulled out the promise ring he had given me before he had left to chase his dream. My heart ached at the very sight of it. I had almost forgotten about it..

"I also came here to give this back."

River sneered, appearing offended, disgust sparkling in his eyes. "It seems you don't want anything to do with me. Why don't you just throw it away? You're pretty good at that."

Why was he so reluctant to just let it go? So much had happened, and hurling insults would only make things more difficult between us.

"What did I ever do to you to hurt me this way, Cara?" His voice cracked amidst all his anger, his pain emerging. For a moment, it gave me a glimpse of him, heartbroken and lost, without an answer after I had disappeared.

He was breaking me down, directing questions as though he had some glimmer of hope that something could be recovered between us. What little hope he had garnered, I would effectively banish.

"River..." _I'm sorry._ I had to choose me this time. No man would ever put me on my knees again like some desperate beggar dying for some of his crumbs.

He sensed my reluctance. Gradually advancing toward me, he halted his steps before cupping my face with his large, roughened hands. "I'll forgive and forget everything if you come back to me right now, Cara. We have everything we've ever wanted. We've accomplished so much. We're older now and wiser. We can start over again. It'll be better this time around. I can afford whatever your heart desires. You don't even have to work if you don't want to. Just say the word, and I'm yours."

Words were easy to say. Actions, on another hand, were another thing. Time had proven that he wasn't one to always keep his promises, and as much as I loved him once, I wasn't about to put myself on a platter again. Why would I put myself through that again? He should have protected what we had in the beginning. This wouldn't have happened otherwise. There was so much at stake this time, and I couldn't gamble on that, even if he was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

He had too much power over me. It was terrifying to even consider submitting to those powerfully unparalleled emotions again. Without him, I was in control of my life, my destiny. Gone was the shattered, defenseless girl. I was a woman made of sterner stuff, one who couldn't be easily dissuaded with empty promises any longer.

"I can't do that, River," I stated, unwavering. "You've lost me forever."

He was horrified, dazed, and flummoxed all at once. Bereft and rendered speechless, our gazes battled, torn between love, hate, and agony. And just when I thought we had finally reached the point of no return, the damning man dipped his head to meet my lips, kissing me senseless. Urgently. Lasciviously.

I was a riot of emotions, completely taken aback by his hungered lips. My thoughts were simultaneously a jumble and as serene as a placid river.

His carnal intentions left me shaken. So much so that I found myself responding. It was like my lips belonged to him, to command and savor. I had forgotten how it felt to be with him, to be in his arms, to be at his mercy. _Him_. Just River.

My nails dug into his chest through his shirt, feeling unbidden and out of my depth. Fevered for his touch, I felt a rush of intoxicated yearning, quite unhinged, like a myriad made by his touch. His masculine scent and the very feel of him possessed me—my very soul. River was my home sweet hell, and it seemed he was capable of placing me where he deemed I belonged, with him, beautifully creating the fires of sins that only he and I could compose. A gluttony we never knew how to relinquish nor diminish. Fire and ice, clashing and mending. A cacophony of our own written symphony.

## 37

# CHAPTER THREE

I felt like I was being transported back to the days when my body and mind weren't mine to command. Like a string being pulled at whatever direction he so desired. I was his as River took full control, devouring my lips, my body.

The spell was too potent to dispel its influence on me. The moment those masculine hands travelled about my body, feeling and cupping my breasts as he lodged one of his thighs between my legs, I knew whatever convictions I had, had all but disappeared.

Consumed by unrivaled hunger, carnal passion took precedence, and I was at his mercy. Unequivocally.

"I forgot what your touch feels like. You feel fucking amazing," I sighed, out of my mind as I gasped for air, breaking our kiss while his lips trailed down my neck, leaving specks of fiery need, branding my skin as he went further down into my nether region.

"It'll be my pleasure to remind you, Cara." He spoke just above my parted thighs before breathing me in with a guttural sound that almost unhinged me.

Before I could make another sound, he softly bit the soft spot atop my moistened pussy.

_What was he waiting for?_ I frustratingly thought as I gazed down with such fevered need it frightened me.

"River?" I blinked at him.

He slowly got to his full height, expressive eyes meeting my own. "If I take you, you'll be mine again," he said softly before leaving a chaste kiss on my lips. "Just say the word. I need to hear you say it, my love."

Sucker punched. That's what it felt like. River just brought me down to earth in the harshest way possible. How could I let myself down so humiliatingly?

Closing my eyes, big, hot tears sprung behind my lids. It was a moment of madness; what else could one call it? To be sure, it was lust. Nothing more. Dressing it for love would be a mistake, and I surely wasn't going to do that.

"I can't. I won't." That kiss meant nothing. Nothing at all.

"I figured as much. Although, it was worth a shot. I hope you can forgive me for trying," he said through a saddened smile that seemed to tear into the very core of my being.

It was the opposite of what I had expected of him. I hadn't imagined he would beg or anything, but for him to not fight harder wasn't want I had anticipated.

Distracted, he stepped back and scanned the room. "Let's get you home, shall we?" he asked.

Nodding in response, I meekly gazed at him through my lashes. My mind seemed hell-bent on making a statement, yet my body yearned for his touch, and the memory of how he took my body made me throb and ache for more. Alas, the man had withdrawn from my reach.

Once he retrieved his keys, he barely glanced at me as he silently guided me toward his garage. He had a black, matted-out Range with matching all-black interiors, perfectly matching the owner's mood, no less.

"Where's your place?" he asked after the engine roared to life. His eyes were directed on the dashboard as though he would rather not look at me.

"It's on Santa Monica and 6th Street," I murmured back as I bit into my lip, unsure if I should break the icy barrier he had erected.

His somewhat of a dismissal made me feel at odds. However, I understood his reluctance in wanting to connect, even if it was through a mere gaze. At this moment, it might be all too much. And even though he was at war with himself, I appreciated the fact that he was gentlemanly enough to drive me home. This side of River was one of the things that had made me fall for him. He was as protective as he was encouraging.

While he drove, Ed Sheeran's calming voice softly crooned in the background. Confined in such a space, tension crackled between us. There was so much to be said, yet silence seemed fitting. My mind was in turmoil, as was my body. My mind, more pointedly, reprimanded my prior actions.

It was a relief when we exited the freeway and River reached my home in no time. Without another word, he found a parking spot before killing the engine.

In the midst of contemplation, I was just about to open my mouth to thank him for taking me home when I found him unbuckling his seatbelt.

Wait. Where was he going?

Panicked, I stared at him in confusion. "Uh, where do you think you're going?" _He can't be thinking it,_ I inwardly bemoaned.

In the dark, his lethal eyes dismissed any thought process I had. "I'm coming with you. I know what you're going to say, but a lot happened tonight and all I ask is for you to spare me the worry. I just need to make sure you're safe inside your home; that's all. I promise, okay?"

Was it ever really that simple? Hardly, but I was running out of energy to keep arguing.

Disconnecting from his gaze, I let out an audible sigh and said, "Okay."

Emotionally fatigued, we quietly got out his Range and began to awkwardly stride next to each other toward the complex entrance. My apartment was only a few blocks from the beach and the pier. This was my home, my haven, and it troubled me that River was going to step into my territory. From here on, I would have a memory of him here, walking me home.

I knew I had seconds until I have to breach the subject of good-bye. The finality of the word made it all the more daunting.

Awkwardly stealing a glance at his face, he seemed as troubled as I was with his lips pressed together, as though he was holding himself back from saying something. Those lips... had devoured me, my soul, and took every ounce of sanity I had. Had he not pulled back, he would have had me writhing underneath him with no thought of the consequences.

I was too enthralled at the taste of him and the feel of his strength and his powerful body working its magic on me. Thank goodness some divine intervention had saved me from any more embarrassment.

Crestfallen, I spun around to face him the moment we reached my door. The soft glow of the hallway lights made his chiseled features seem softer yet more lethal to my senses. One look of that feral gaze he just gave me made me quiver inside. How could he still have so much power over me?

Letting my eyes drop to study the strong muscles of his neck, I unknowingly began to lick my lips, parched for reasons I dared not openly admit. "River, listen—"

"I'm leaving for Ireland tomorrow to shoot the final film of TVM." He grazed my cheek with his thumb, seeming to test my reaction at the feel of his touch. Our eyes met, and I couldn't feel or see anything. Only him and those feral, stormy eyes that never failed to draw me in. "Do you mind if I text you from time to time?"

Text. He didn't outright say call, which meant he was treading lightly, knowing well enough that I would immediately reject it. I wasn't sure if I should be comforted by that thought.

"If you want to, I guess." Texting was harmless, though it was his grand gesture of wanting to keep in touch because I wouldn't give him anything more.

A soft smile broke from his lips. I was so absorbed by it that I didn't notice he had reached out to hold my hand. I simply stood there like a breathless idiot before he bent over to softly kiss my knuckle, his lips sweetly caressing my skin. When he finished, he didn't release my hand. He took a moment to gaze upon my face, looking at me as though it would break him if he dared to stop. When I thought it would never end, he granted me with a wounded smile and murmured, "Sleep well, my petal."

Blanketed with darkness, I blushed from head to foot. That pet name represented how much he had once loved me. And as much as I wanted him to stop using it, I had no fight left in me tonight.

"Safe travels to you and take care."

He responded with a curt nod before he retreated, leaving me staring back at him, walking away while I remained in my frozen position, wondering if I achieved what I aimed to gain by meeting him tonight.

All I knew was that River Ellis had somehow managed to remind me that I still had a heart—a beating one at that.

## 38

# CHAPTER FOUR

Sleep eluded me. I tossed and turned, grunting and groaning in frustration while I loudly cursed myself as my mind raced, recalling the events at River's home. More importantly, the simple gold ring that bore his name was dropped somewhere in the kitchen after he had kissed me.

"God that kiss... FUCK!" I screeched into the darkness, wondering if I would ever recover from it.

River knew how to touch me. Could any man ever compare to that? Even Parker's didn't come close, nor other men I had tried to date after River. No one had the ability to suspend me from reality, to live in that very moment, every waking breath felt. Each kiss, touch was a symphony of the senses. A masterpiece to be savored, treasured.

River made me feel alive, but he also could easily give me the kiss of death. My decision was unchanged, but I just wanted to remember... how it felt to be so spellbound, so electrified, wanton, and purely intrinsic.

He had a stunning body with an unmatched ability to make a woman melt into vapid oblivion with a mere touch. Although those were all incredible to note, I had to admit they palled in comparison to what truly drew me to him—his voice.

The raspy sound of his voice seemed to reach out to you, into your heart, gnawing at your soul. Each syllable was a balm to heal what was broken within, belting a song with his beloved string guitar on his thigh. I remembered waking up to his presence doing that, sated from our lovemaking while watching me sleep, back when he loved me just as much as I had loved him. Those days were long gone, but I still cherished them. I could comfort myself that at least I knew what it meant to love and to be loved.

Memories came crashing down like embers from hell, bright and blazing, but never permanent, vanishing into the abyss, leaving me a speck of soot, staining my soul, forever marking my heart.

Tears came next. I cried for what was lost and what might have been, for the past that had strangled me since birth. I wept, sobbing for feeling so alone. Loneliness was something I was accustomed to. I was akin to it. It had been my constant companion, but tonight... I wished it away, hoping it would leave me in peace for a time.

In my miserable half-asleep state, I heard a stifled ring echoing from my cell phone that was in my purse at a distance. I left it somewhere in the room, but I wasn't quite sure where.

_It's probably on the floor_ , I tried to vaguely recall.

Unceremoniously, I slipped out of bed, donning only my lace thong as I squinted about the darkened room, scanning the black and white trellis patterned carpet. Alas, I found the shrilling thing sitting next to the door. The probability of me dropping it the second I got into my bedroom was likely.

Plucking my clutch, I brusquely yanked it open and took hold of my offending phone.

"Hello?" I grumbled at the intruder.

"Are you coming or not? We've been waiting for half an hour now. Where are you, Sprinkles?" Anton's exasperated voice boomed in my ear.

"What time is it?" Scratching the side of my head, I retraced my steps and landed back on the bed, hoping I could catch a few more hours of peace and quiet.

"It's two in the afternoon, sweet cheeks."

Peace and quiet could wait. My friends had to come first.

"Damn. Sorry, I overslept." If being in a half state could be acknowledged as such. "I'll be there in fifteen. Save some food for me please, I beg you. I'm hella starving." Cutting the call, I begrudgingly got out of bed for the last time and headed straight into the bathroom to wash up.

My blackout curtain did a fine job of not permitting any light coming through, but it made a mess of my body clock. Ever since I had it installed, getting anywhere on time was a challenge. Today was Netflix; how did I manage to forget that? It was a ritual for Anton and our other neighbor, Kells. Sundays were exclusively to lounge around, drink, and get fat in front of the television while watching a show the three of us agreed to. We were into Season Two of _The Borgias_.

Speaking of food, I barely got a chance to nibble on anything last night since my dress was the sort where if one ate one too many fries and it would combust. Therefore, I had begrudgingly nibbled on a low-fat mozzarella stick to stave off hunger, promising myself that, once the party was over, I could happily pig out on waffles and fried chicken.

Parker wouldn't have appreciated that. The man was a health nut. And even though we had just begun dating, he had already lectured me of my high love and devotion for all things fatty and sugary. What human wouldn't be enticed with chocolate? Parker, apparently, came from another planet. That was part of his charm, though. He was different from me. And while I lacked family, he had a huge one, mainly all working in the field of Orthodontics. That somewhat explained his disimpassioned hatred for sugary things. Unlike his family members, he pursued acting. The dark horse, as he nicely put it.

Back to my present predicament, my stomach was making a loud protest. _Feed me_ , it demanded.

Dressed in a matching loose white tracksuit, I grabbed my phone and room keys before heading out the door barefoot, tiptoeing toward the elevator. Anton lived one level above me. His was a larger apartment with a much better view, which made it the perfect rendezvous spot for our lazy Sundays.

As expected, he had his apartment door already cracked open, an impatient yet gracious gesture as they waited my arrival.

"I'm here, I'm here!" I declared as I hurried into his place before securing the door behind me.

Anton gave me a sheepish look. "How was the party last night? I tried to come, but something came up. I'm super-duper proud of you, honey. You know that, don't you?" He clearly needed to shave his beard, but he seemed not to care, closely resembling a cub.

Anton wasn't one to socialize, so his excuse, or lack thereof, was already expected. As for Kells, she had worked late, so she couldn't have made it. Her schedule deferred. If there was a music video, promotional event, or award shows, she was booked. She was a brilliant makeup artist. But even though she had a mad career, she was adamant about getting Sundays off. She said she needed it to recoup and reenergize.

Glancing toward the other girl across the room who was clearly too keen on her waffles and fried chicken, I reverted my gaze back to my scruffy cub of a friend. "I don't want to be rude, but can we skip the talk for a minute? Um, where's my food?"

Cue the angry growl of my stomach. It made me flinch in annoyance. I hated to be this desperately hungry. One should never push their body to the limits of desperation. It hadn't been worth the dress.

_River thought otherwise_ , my stupid brain butted in.

"Your grub's on the coffee table." Anton directed toward where Kells was situated with no care in the world, eating her heart out.

Without much ado, I marched toward the heavenly smell and happily sighed as I sat down across form Kells. Anton had three sofas, so it gave us enough privacy while we comfortably watched our show.

Chicken and waffles from Roscoe's. The first bite sure felt like ambrosia on my tongue.

"Mmm... This is the life." My tummy happily obliged.

"Hollywood's going to give you an eating disorder, Cara." Kells gave me a worried frown. "Consider yourself warned."

Glaring at her, I scarfed down a piece of waffle. "Don't think so," I mumbled before stuffing more into it.

"Dating Parker surely would." Kells couldn't resist herself, knowing how neurotic and controlling Parker could be.

Anton made an overly dramatic sigh before throwing himself on the sofa situated between us. "You can do better than that guy, but whatever makes you happy makes me happy, I guess."

My eyes flickered between my friends while cautiously chewing my food. They never warmed up to Parker, and the sentiment was mutual. I tried not to merge both and kept them separate. Well, as much as I could manage, anyway.

Recognizing my uncomfortable state, Kells gave me a heartening look. "Did anything newsworthy happen last night?" Kells inquired, changing the subject before grabbing the remote and beginning to scan the screen for our show.

_Umm, nothing that I want to confess._

Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to my food. "Hmm, no, not really. Same old, same old." Lies. Pure and utter lies.

"So, you haven't had sex with Parker, then?" Kells asked playfully with a perfectly arched brow, properly displaying her amazing features, and that included her brows.

"Not yet, no." Was it a crime to wait? A month wasn't enough for me to get to that point yet. Call it archaic, but what the hell? It was my body; my decision.

"Why ever not?" Anton derided. "Don't care much for him, but even I can say that he's beddable."

Kells smirked before grinning at our friend. "At this point, Anton, you'd hump anything that has a dick."

He flung a plastic fork at Kells. "Sad, but true. If I don't lose any baby fat anytime soon, I'll forever be an emancipated virgin."

"Dream on. You're as virgin as I am," Kells interjected.

Kells was a carefree soul, but she never failed to tangle herself with peculiar men. The last one was secretly married, and the second she had found out, she dumped the idiot. It was difficult to trust anyone around Los Angeles. People around here were a different breed of human. One surely wouldn't know what the other person could be hiding. Maybe that was why I didn't mind Parker so much. At least I knew what I was getting with him. Most importantly, the man wasn't married.

"Parker and I are fine... for the moment. I'm in no rush to get there, you know. I want to take this slow, and I think he gets that."

"Are you sure about that? Men like Parker don't wait out for long. They know what they've got, and they use it to their advantage. And that includes knowing how the opposite sex reacts and fawns over them. I'm sure he's not short on that."

"I'm ready when I'm ready. Case closed." I would know when the right time presented itself. To be honest, after seeing how badly I reacted to my ex's touch, how could I fathom doing the deed with a man who had the quarter of River's sex appeal and charm? True, I was attracted to Parker, but after being severely reminded of my first love, he palled in comparison.

It was an unkind thing to do, comparing your current beau from your last. Regardless, to this day, no one came close to River. Still, I couldn't forget how everything had crumbled due to his inability to protect me and our relationship.

Parker was second best, and although my heart longed for the golden days of the past, there was no turning back. Consequently, I had to continue on living and see if this relationship with Parker could blossom into something worth nurturing.

They said being positive would enhance one's outlook on life. Therefore, I must train my mind to see the good and caution the bad in every given situation.

Later that night, I received a call from my boyfriend, informing me that he was coming over tomorrow for a much-needed time together. He was right; there were a few kinks we needed to iron out.

## 39

# CHAPTER FIVE

What's your schedule like for the next month?" Parker gracefully wound his pasta with his spoon, neatly weaving it before slipping it into his mouth.

We were having an early dinner at his stunning home in Toluca Lake. Even dressed in casual clothes, Parker looked insanely handsome, closely resembled a young Ryan Philippe, with the sex appeal to boot.

At ease with each other's company, I seemed reticent as my thoughts ran with the usual plight—River and our intense encounter. Though Parker hadn't mentioned what had happened at the party, I could sense that something was amiss with him. He was curious.

Back to the question at hand, I pondered what it entailed. Addison, my agent, hadn't clued me in just yet.

"I have a meeting lunch tomorrow; I'll know then." Particularly curious, I placed my fork down and reached for my wine glass. "Why? Is there anything in particular you want to know about?"

"I just want to coordinate our schedules; that's all," he assured. "Do you have any new projects coming up?"

Good question. Did I?

"I'm not sure..." I lingered, wondering if there were new projects between my contracted shoots for _Clover_. Most actors did, but I was new to the industry. "What's yours like? Will you be busy?"

Parker had already made a name for himself, so his schedule was hectic compared to mine.

He nodded before taking hold of the wine bottle and refilling both our glasses. "Yes, actually, but it'll be shot in New York and Vegas. We can see each other whenever we have some free time."

Synchronizing our calendar was entailed when dating an actor. Best I got used to it.

"That would be nice. I'd love to explore New York. I've been there once for a press junket, so all work and no play." I haven't been to many places. I should change that. With my steady checks from the show, I could travel to places I had only dreamt about.

"I'd love to show you around. It's one of my favorite places in the world. The scene is just different compared to here." He grinned before toying with his wine glass, showcasing his fabulous set of teeth and great smile. "So, what were you and your friends up to yesterday?"

"Netflix. You know, the works," I immediately replied. He knew what my Sundays were filled with. Nothing had changed on that front.

"You really need to socialize more," he suggested softly, throwing me a curious stare and studying my reaction. "In fact, we'll go out tonight so I can introduce you to a new set of friends."

It was the way he delivered the last sentence, like my present ones were not worthwhile.

"What's wrong with the current ones I have? I'd love to hear you explain yourself." My strained voice didn't hide how provoked I was.

Hastily placing my utensils down, I took a moment to tell myself to calm down before my crazy came out and decided to throw the freshly refilled glass at his arrogant face.

He shrugged, pretending he hadn't just stated something offensive. "Nothing. Nothing at all. But if you want to be known, Cara, you know you have to mingle with your own kind now."

And what _kind_ were Anton and Kells?

Teeth clenched, hands bunch up, I was ready to raise Hell. "They are my kind. How dare you suggest I drop them because they're not Hollywood enough in your own opinion."

"It's being who's who that matters here. You should surround yourself with people that can enhance your image—be seen and photographed with the 'it' people, and not with a repressed faggot and the tragic homewrecker."

_How dare he use that against me._

It was unfortunate he had been there when Kells unloaded her disastrous relationship. What a total douchebag move. Clearly this man didn't know me. Otherwise, he would never have uttered that moronic nonsense.

"Sorry, but that's not why I began acting. I don't want to be chased down by paparazzi and get hounded every second I'm out grocery shopping. If that's the kind of life you strive for, then I think we should end this now before this gets any worse." There was more to life than competing with whoever had the most social media followers. I got that they were important, but I wasn't a shallow person, either. It just wasn't me. "You better get used to it, or we have to rethink this entire relationship altogether."

"I was only suggesting. I didn't mean to offend you, Cara." Unfazed by my embroiled state, he reached for my hand, but I withdrew it from the table. "I'm sorry."

Too late. For a moment, I had thought he was different. Oh yeah, he was different all right. Not in the sense I had believed. Could he already be this rotten, or was this just a random thought that shouldn't have been said out loud?

"Baby, please forgive me."

I kept staring at him, wide-eyed and in deep thought, mind racing as to what I should do next. _Goodness, how shallow can he be?_ Maybe he meant well, but what he said made me feel weary of him. But the question was: was it enough to break it off?

He had apologized and seemed sincerely sorry. But God help me if Parker dared to suggest any more callous ventures down the line. I wouldn't give him a pass for a second time.

"I'll forgive if you don't ever bring this subject up again, and if you promise never to call them horrendous names."

The shadow over his face was replaced with relief before he got up and circled the table. Cupping my face, he placed an overeager kiss on my lips. "I promise. Thank you," he breathed out, reassured.

I knew it was weak of me to brush it off, but after the week I'd had—not to mention the tryst with River—I owed Parker another chance. Though I would never forget. It had showed a different Parker, one who was strategically hidden. I just hoped there would be no repeat.

For the rest of the evening, instead of going out to meet his friends, we opted to go to the movies. And for the first time tonight, I noticed how he adored the limelight and how comfortable he was when a couple wanted to take a picture with him. I needed to get used to this. I was just glad I wasn't all that known.

Before heading to our designated theater, I dashed to the ladies' room while Parker went in search of our selected seats. It was the most inconvenient time to have my monthly visitor arrive. Thank heavens for vending machines, or I would have had to trot back in search for Parker and ask him to drive me to the nearest pharmacy. I could easily see how annoyed he would be. He didn't come off as the type to go the ladies' aisle and purchase a box of tampons. He would most likely die of embarrassment and quit being together if someone took a photo of him and posted it on Instagram. The very image made me smile wickedly with glee as I cleaned up.

Once finished, I exited the restroom and pulled out my phone, needing to check the time. Much to my surprise, River's name stared back at me. He had left me a message.

Staring at the screen, I was out of breath as my shaky fingers punched the message tab to open the folder. I just saw his name; why in God's name was I shaking like a blizzard had just hit me?

_Hello, it's me again. I know you're probably sick of me, but I just wanted to say that I'm boarding soon and wanted to let you know that I'm leaving LA. You probably don't care, anyway, but I felt like I should tell you. Anyhow, it was good seeing you again. I hope you're okay. I miss you._

He missed me. That single line brought a fresh wave of melancholy. Lamenting on what once was and what had been lost, I willed myself to tuck my phone back into my purse and not respond.

Though I sat next to Parker for the next three hours, him holding me close, my mind was elsewhere. It was drawn to _him_ and what he might feel knowing he would never get a reply from me.

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# Acknowledgments

To my Mom, need I say how awesome you are? Your unrelenting support keeps me going. YOU. ARE. THE. BEST! I love you.

To Cami Hesnault and Tia-Marie (spanking brand new Author), you guys are the best!!! Thank you for all the input and ideas. The late night convos made my writing during the wee hours much more interesting and entertaining. This novel wouldn't have been the same without you two! I thank both of you from the bottom of my heart.

To the readers, I wouldn't be writing if it weren't for all the love and support. This has been such an amazing experience. Thank you for giving me the pleasure of making your imagination soar and drift away. I hope it was an entertaining experience!

* * *

Much love,

Pamela Ann xo
