Achha, waise, BJP supporter kaun kaun hai?
BJP supporter, Aap ho? Aur koi? Aap? Aap?
G**ND MARALO
Abhi abhi, aa raha tha na
Toh maine na ek gaadi dekhi
Gaadi ka naam tha SCODA LAURA
Toh, maine kaha Iske drivers kitne lucky hote honge yaar
Malkin ko kahin jaana hota hai, driver ko kehti hongi
'Driver LAURA nikalo'
But, main kabhi kabhi yeh sochta hu
Yaar yeh naam kisne rakhe honge yaar
Kitna weird naam hai yaar
Socho tum showroom me jaa rahe ho
Sir kya lena hai? Sir
Laura lena hai sir
Bachhe zid kar rahe hain
"Papa aaj Laura pe baith ke jayenge"
Biwi bhi khe rahi hai chalo lelo na app bhi jaldi se so jao to
"Woh Laura nahi hai yeh"
Achha waise BJP supporter kaun kaun hai?
BJP supporter, Aap ho?
BC inko seaten kaise mil jaati hai?
Achha, Sir aap hain?
Aur koi? Aap hain, Aap?
G**ND mara lo!
Sorry!
But aaj kal kya hai na yaar
Unhone 5 saal me
Dekho  agar 5 saal me agar kisi insaan ki value badhi hai na
Toh voh Gaay hai
Insaan bolna padta hai
Pichli baar maine jaanwar bol dia tha
Ek chutiya khada ho gaya audience me
"Bhai Gaay humari maata hoti hai"
Maata ko jaanwar bolega kya?
Maine kaha "Meri shakal milti h meri maa se
Teri Gaay se milti hai kya?"
Maine kaha aise toh Gandhi ji humare papa hote hai
Toh petrol ke paise thode maang lega unse?
But kya kare ab value badha di unhone Gaay ki itni jyada
Ab aisa hai na yaar dekho
Ab na unhone na aisi situation bana di hai na
Ki koi bhi dikkat hai na
Tum gaumutra piyo, tum thik ho jaoge
Toh aise hi, maine socha chal manga lete hain Gaumutra jitne ka bhi hai
To main order karne laga
Toh usme aa raha hai "85 Rupees ka 500 ml".
BC 50 Rupaye me to 1 litre dudh aa jata hai
Aur dudh me protein hota hai yaar
Kabhi tumne suna hai ,do maayen baat kar rahi hain
Pehle mera bachha badh nahi raha tha
Jab se Gaumutra piya hai
Kya hi badh raha hai woh
Aisa nahi hota na yaar
Protein toh dudh me hi hota hai
Tabhi to gaay apne bachhe ko dudh pilati hai
Nahi toh gaumutra pila rahi hoti
Ab sochne wali baat hai
Abhi na ek na BJP ki leader hai
Unhone na abhi abhi kaha
Pehle na mujhe Cancer tha
Phir maine Gaumutra piya
Phir maine gobar me, nahi gober me nahi
Dahi me na gobar mila kar khaya
Aur main thik ho gayi
Unhone toh bol diya
Doctor ki g**nd phat gayi
Arre BC hum to chemotherapy de rahe the
Yeh toh saale mut se hi thik hue jaa rahe hain
Toh abhi abhi na maine school paas kiya
Aur school ke time na aisa hota hai na ki
Tum na bohot jyada desperate hote nahi ho
Par aisa seek hota hai ki tum bohot desperate ho
Mere ko bhi na aise hi log
Main hu nahi
Main hu nahi desperate
But logo ko lagta tha ki main desperate hu
Thik hai, kyuke ek baar na ek ladki mujhse baat kar rahi
Toh maine usse pucha tumhe kaisa boyfriend chahiye?
Toh kehti "Jo mujhe pyaar de, time de, love de, respect de, appreciation de"
Maine kaha haan
Toh kehti tumhe kaisi girlfriend chahiye?
Maine kaha " Jo mujhe de"
Short and Simple
Kehti "Bohot harami ho tum"
D**k nahi dil bada kar
Maine kaha "Dil nahi ghusega"
Haan to main school ki baat kar raha tha
Toh maine na abhi abhi school pass kia hai
Aur school na kya hai na
Bachhe bade ba**hod hote hain
Par aise nahi hai dekho ek baar kya hua
Teacher bhi bade bakchod hote hain yaar.
Matlab, aisa kisine rule banaya hai ki
Ki bathroom jaoge to puch ke jaoge
Aise tum kabhi ghar pe mummy papa se puch ke jaate ho?
Seedha chale jaate ho na ki susu aa rahi thi yaar meko
Toh fir aise na main khada hua
To na maine na ma'am se kaha
Ma'am may I go to washroom?
Kehti "No"
Maine kaha par aa rahi hai
Kehti "pichle period me kyon nahi gaye?"
Maine kaha pichle period me nahi aa rahi thi
Tum pure din ka subah moot leti ho
Toh woh boli "Call your parents".
Toh mera moot nikal gaya
Par na B.tech ke baare me na bohot afwaahe hain yaar
Bohot afwaahe hain
Jaise na main college dhund raha tha na
Toh mera dost aaya mere paas
Kehta " beta college ki tension mat le"
Maine kaha kyun
keh raha hai B.tech hai na ek process hai
Evolve hoga tu
Aur kaafi evolve hua hu main
Ab main apna gaanja khud bana leta hu
Chaar cigarette phoonk leta hu ek saath
Papa ne us din bottle kholi
Keh rahe "Gaayab"
Maine kaha Magic
Mujhe kabhi zindagi me pyar mila nahi hai
Thik hai
Toh mujhe pyar milta hai to main tum logo ki tarah pagal nahi hota hu
Main bawla ho jata hu ekdum
Toh kya hua na
Usne na
Woh bhi mujhse bahut pyar karti thi
Sachhi me
Toh usne kya kia
Usne mera naam apni mehndi me likhwa liya
Toh main toh pagal banda hu
Maine jaakar uske naam ka permanent tattoo karwa liya
Maine yaha pe Neha likhwaya
Ek hafte baad mera breakup ho gaya
Uski to mehandi mit gayi BC
Aur yeh pehla bhi nahi hai
Main paanch aur banwa chuka hu
Ab main shirt kholta hu na
Toh aisa lagta hai ladies college
Ki attendence le raha hu
Tum logo ko hassi aa rahi hai
Mere toh lage pade hain
Main kisi se na intimate nahi ho pa raha
Us din ek ladki ne kaha
"Chalo, let's make out"
Maine kaha thik hai
Toh woh aayi
Usne mere shirt ke button khole
Maine kaha Yahan se nahi
Maine kaha Niche se shuru karenge
Toh usne bola " Tum toh bohot harami ho"
"Dick nahi dil bada karo"
Maine kaha Dil nahi ghusega
