WE'RE WITH THE LOVELY AND
TALENTED TOM HANKS.
THAT WAS AN EXTRAORDINARY STORY
YOU JUST TOLD ME ABOUT THE
PRESIDENT'S CLASSIFIED
INFORMATION.
>> AND NOW YOU UNDERSTAND IF YOU
REPEAT THAT ON YOUR SHOW, THERE
WILL BE A BLACK VAN SHOWING UP
AT YOUR HOUSE.
>> Stephen: THERE'S ALWAYS A
BLACK VAN SHOWING UP AT MY
HOUSE.
THAT'S HOW I GET TO WORK.
>> IS IT THE THING WITH THE
FLAMES SPRAY PAINTED ON THE
SIDE.
>> Stephen: IT SAYS "AFTERNOON
DELIGHT."
>> HEY, IF THAT VAN IS
ROCKING...
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE DONE
SOMETHING THAT'S KIND OF
INTERESTING TO ME A COUPLE OF
TIMES.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE ONCE
AGAIN PURCHASED THE WHITE HOUSE
PRESS CORPS THEIR OWN ESPRESSO
MACHINE?
>> YES, YES, I DID THAT.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: AND THIS WAS--
THIS WAS-- DO I MIND IF I READ
THIS, SHOW THIS?
>> GO AHEAD.
>> Stephen: YOU SUBJECT THIS
NOTE ALONG TO THE WHITE HOUSE
PRESS CO.
IS THIS IN THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS
ROOM WHERE THEY HANG OUT?
>> IT'S IN BACK.
>> TO THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS
CORE, KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT FOR
TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN
WAY, ESPECIALLY FOR THE TRUTH
PART.
TOM HANKS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> BY THE WAY, THAT WAS BY--
THAT'S BY BILL-- THAT IS A
PULEITZ-- PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING
DRAWING BY-- OH, GEEZ.
I'M BLANKING ON THE NAME.
>> Stephen: BILL ELDER?
>> YEAH, YEAH, THE GREAT WORLD
WAR II CARTOONIST.
YEAH, I'VE DONE THAT FOR
DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICAN
ADMINISTRATIONS BECAUSE THOSE
POOR BASTARDS NEED COFFEE.
IT'S JUST AS SIMPLE AS THAT.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.
I THINK THIS PRESIDENT MIGHT BE
KEEPING THEM UP, ANYWAY.
CERTAINLY ON THEIR TOES BECAUSE
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO
HAPPEN.
>> I HAVE A FEELING THE PROBLEM
NOW IS AN AWFUL LOT THE SPIT
COFFEE ON PEOPLE'S LAPS.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!"
I THINK A LOT OF THAT STUFF.
THAT MIGHT BE-- THAT MIGHT BE
HAPPENING THERE
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: SO WHEN DID YOU--
GO AHEAD.
>> THIS STARTED BECAUSE THE
FIRST TIME WE EVER WENT-- MY
KIDS WERE LITTLE AND WE HAD A
TOUR OF THE WHITE HOUSE.
AND THEY TAKE YOU DOWN THERE.
IF NOTHING IS GOING ON, IF THE
PRESIDENT IS NOT THERE, YOU CAN
ALMOST GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT.
THEY TAKE YOU DOWN AND YOU GET
TO STAND AT THE PODIUM AND
PRETEND YOU'RE POINTING AT
SOMETHING.
AND YET, EVEN THOUGH THE
PRESIDENT WAS NOT THERE, THERE
WERE ABOUT SIX STAFFERS-- OR
REPORTERS AND TECHNICIANS IN THE
BACK OF THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS
ROOM LIKE THIS UPON... WE SAID,
GUYS WORK HERE?"
AND THEY SAID, "EVERY SINGLE
DAY."
I SAID, "THE PRESIDENT'S NOT
EVEN HERE.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE HERE?"
AND THEY SAID, "IN CASE OF
NUCLEAR WAR."
( LAUGHTER )
YOU KNOW, SAY SOMETHING HAPPENS.
AND WE SAW, THEY HAD THIS OLD
MR. COFFEE THAT WAS ALL SKAGY
AND WHATNOT.
I SAID, "GUYS, YOU MIGHT BE
GETTING A BRAND NEW CAPPUCCINO
MACHINE FROM PERHAPS A
MILD-MANNERED REPORTER FROM A
GREAT METROPOLITAN NEWSPAPER WHO
DISGUISED AS CLARK KENT FIGHTS
THE BATTLE FOR TRUTH, JUSTICE,
AND THE AMERICAN WAY.
I'M A SUCKER, BUT WHEN I WAS A
KID I TOOK THAT TO HEART "TRUTH,
JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN WAY"
WAS SOMETHING YOU KEPT UP A
NEVER-ENDING BATTLE FOR.
>> Stephen: I AGREE, I AGREE.
AND PEOPLE DO GIVE THEIR LIVES
FOR
( APPLAUSE ).
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: SPEAKING OF THE
AMERICAN WAY, YOU HAVE THIS NEW
MOVIE HERE CALLED "THE CIRCLE."
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: WITH THE LOVELY
AND TALENTED EMMA WATSON.
>> EMMA WATSON.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: IT'S ABOUT SORT OF
SOCIAL MEDIA AND SURVEILLANCE.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN THE
MOVIE?
WHO ARE YOU IN THE MOVIE?
>> WELL, IF YOU TOOK TWITTER,
YOUTUBE, GOOGLE, INSTAGRAM, AND
APPLE AND JAMMED THEM ALL INTO
ONE COMPANY, THEY WOULD DO
PROBABLY ONE OF TWO THINGS--
EXPLODE BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN
SELF-IMPORTANCE, OR ATTEMPT TO
DOMINATE ALL OF THE WORLD AS WE
KNOW IT.
AND I PLAY THE GUY WHO, FOR
WONDERFUL ALTRUISTIC REASONS,
WANTS TO IMPROVE THE HUMAN
CONDITION AND SETS ABOUT COULD D
IT BY WAY OF THIS-- THIS SOCIAL
MEDIA INTERNET COMPUTER COMPANY
CALLED THE CIRCLE.
AND IT ALL MAKES WONDERFUL
SENSE.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE GET, LIKE,
CAMERAS, THAT THEY CAN PUT ON
THEIR BODES.
>> THEY GET THINGS THEY WEAR ON
THEIR WRISTS THAT CAN KEEP TRACK
OF THEIR HEARTBEAT.
THEY-- THEY-- THEY GET PADS THAT
HAVE-- THEY CAN SEND MESSAGES
ON.
( LAUGHTER )
THEY-- THEY'RE ABLE TO, LIKE,
SEND, LIKE, KOOKS PHOTO PHOTOS A
NUTTY RIDDLES TO PEOPLE ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF THE-- IT'S THE
SCARCIEST, GOOFIEST, DYSTOPIAN
VERSION OF THE FUTURE YOU'RE
EVER GOING TO COME ACROSS.
>> Stephen: BUT WHO WOULD PAY
FOR THAT?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: WHO WOULD PAY FOR
THAT?
>> I HAVE NO IDEA.
THERE ARE GAMES YOU CAN PLAY--
IT'S FUBBY, DAVE EGGERS-- WHO
WAS A GREAT NOVELIST.
HE WROTE THIS THING IN 2013.
NOW, USUALLY IN THE REALM OF
SCIENCE FICTION OR REALITY
FICTION, THINGS LIKE THAT, A
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT YOU
THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN FOUR
YEARS AGO AND WHAT REALLY-- IS,
LIKE, EIGHT MILES WIDE.
THEY'RE NOT REMOTELY CORRECT IN
ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.
I BELIEVE DAVE PUT A HEX ON US
ALL, AND TRAVELED IN A TIME
MACHINE TO SEE WHAT IT'S GOING
TO BE LIKE BECAUSE HE CAPTURED
IT FOUR YEARS AGO.
>> Stephen: WELL, IN THIS
SCENE WE'RE ABOUT TO SEE HERE,
EMMA WATSON, HAS BEEN CAUGHT BY
THIS TECHNOLOGY SNEAKING INTO
YOUR OFFICE.
>> YES, SHE HAD TO BE RESCUED
FROM-- FROM A PRECARIOUS
POSITION THAT SHE WAS AT
ILLEGALLY AND WE KNOW ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
JIM.
>> NOW THEY KNOW YOUR SECRET, DO
YOU FEEL BETTER OR WORSE?
>> BETTER.
RELIEVED, ACTUALLY.
>> I AM A BELIEVER IN THE
PERFECTIBILITY OF HUMAN BEINGS.
WITH WE ARE OUR BEST SELVES, THE
POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.
THERE IS NOT A PROBLEM WE CANNOT
SOLVE.
WE CAN CURE ANY SKIS, AND WE CAN
END HUNGER.
WITHOUT SECRETS, WITHOUT HORDING
INFORMATION, WE CAN FINALLY
REALIZE OUR POTENTIAL.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> I DON'T BELIEVE --
>> Stephen: I LIKE THE
TURTLENECK.
>> YOU LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE
ANOTHER BREAK HERE, AND WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK WITH MORE MR. TOM
HAIFNGS.
