

### A View from the Rainbow

Copyright 2015 Sonia Brakowski

Published by Sonia Brakowski at Smashwords

Smashwords Edition License Notes

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Introduction

Every time I read that a comment about how my first book, "Annette Opens the Door", is bringing understanding and peace to people regarding death and dying, it validates why I wrote it. I do suggest that you read my first book before you read this one.

Acknowledgements

This book is dedicated to my husband Ed, also to Annette's three wonderful siblings, Elaine, Edward and Barbara who will always be a huge part of my life.

I also wish to acknowledge, validate, appreciate and thank my family on the other side, my mother and grandmother, but most especially my daughter Annette, who is the inspiration for this book and its contents.

Prologue

I was talking to very dear friend and colleague recently and she asked me if I believe so strongly in reincarnation, how has that belief changed or affected me and my life? That question made me stop and think about all the insights and information that I have accumulated over the past few months, the things I have written about and shared with others. Personally for me, I feel I have been blessed to have had glimpses of what some of my past lives were. Oh! Not blow by blow pictures or information, but the sense that I have been here before, done this before or knew this person before. I have had very vivid dreams where I see myself in another time and place and it is oh so familiar to me, so much so that when I awake I have to stay quiet for a few minutes to allow my mind to slow down and re-enter the world I am in right now. When I went to a psychic in Sedona, Arizona, for a past life reading many years ago, I was amazed to hear myself talking with such clarity about a place I had never been, interacting with people I recognized as being friends and family in my current life. I was with this woman for over an hour and I never once felt that she asked me leading questions or manipulated me in any way. After my session was over, she gave me the tape of my session which I listened to many times. Each time I listened to it I realized that what was being shown to me was the realization that people in my life now are people who have been with me throughout many lifetimes. The information I learned gave me food for thought because before I went for this past life reading I couldn't or wouldn't believe that this was possible.

As I have developed and grown in my belief regarding the validity (for me) about reincarnation, I began reading books and talking to people who had experiences with past lives. I came to know I had lived in the time of Jesus and was a follower of his, not one of the disciples, but definitely someone who lived in the time he preached and taught. I know I lived in Greece at sometime, and I also lived in India, as well as Egypt, I have a strong affinity to these places and am fascinated with their history. I am also drawn to eighteenth century England, with their beautiful gowns and costumes. All the stories about royalty and court intrigue fascinate me so I tend to avidly read books about this period of British history. A psychic friend of mine told me that I had drowned in a previous life and that is why I have trouble with my chest; this would certainly explain why I don't like being in a pool or any kind of body of water. It also helps me to understand why I don't like to go out on boats even though I am a good swimmer I do not like to be surrounded by water.

I am also fascinated with religion and papal history, so much so that I feel I must have been involved in that whole scenario in some way shape or form. I tend to read historical books on the popes and the history of Roman Catholicism, all in an effort to understand why I am also drawn to this particular period in history. Unfortunately I don't think I have ever been a pope or a famous figure or an Egyptian princess as far as I know.

What is a very concrete and real experience for me is when I see, read or hear something and have that moment of déjà vu, which is so real I can actually see myself there. I have been in old houses and know I have been there before; this is especially true when I go home to England for a visit and my husband and I visit some old castles or homes. When we visited Glastonbury in England four years ago it was definitely somewhere that I felt a strong feeling of familiarity with. As we walked down the narrow alleyways and visited the new age shops loving all the smells, sights and sounds we encountered, I had such a sense of having been there before that I knew it was a place and memory I definitely want to visit again.

None of what I do today feels new to me, I know I have been here before and done so many things before that I am in this place where what I am doing feels like a comfortable pair of slippers that make your walking seem like floating. Is it possible in a past life I was a seer, someone who others came to for counsel, I feel that could be a strong possibility. This memory just came back to me; many years ago I asked my husband what he thought I would be if I had a career in addition to being a wife and mother. His answer didn't surprise me as it was something I had a natural gift or talent for. He said I should have been a counselor, because that's what I do now with no training or certification.

He's right that is similar to what I am doing now, only I use tarot cards as the doorway to the other side, to connect families so they know their loved one is at peace and not suffering or in pain any more. This connection brings closure, comfort and peace to people who are hurting.

Chapter One

In my first book, "Annette Opens the Door", I shared how in 2007 Annette began sending me messages from the other side. The messages came through someone I met when I was in England, who also happened to be a medium. After my book was published, Annette sent me a message through the same medium, encouraging me to begin writing the next book, to share more about all that I have been privileged to learn and experience. This second book, she said, would deal more with reincarnation, the bible, and readings that back up the message that death is not the end. It is these experiences and lessons that have brought me to a deeper awareness in my own growth and maturity.

I recently read this statement which touched me deeply. A person that loses a partner is called a widower. A child who loses a parent is called an orphan. But there is no word to describe a parent that loses a child, because the loss of a child is like no other. It makes no difference the age of your child when they pass, it is still a pain like no other because all your hopes, dreams and expectations you had for your child, die with them. I always remember my grandmother standing at my mothers grave and crying saying parents are not supposed to bury their children, children are supposed to bury their parents. I totally agree with her statement. Having buried one of my own children I can tell you it is one of the hardest and most traumatic things you will ever do. So, what do you call parents who have lost a child? I have never figured this out nor has any professional councilor been able to tell me what they thought grieving parents should be called. It is only another parent who has walked the walk that you have that can truly say they understand your sorrow, pain and grief, plus the sense of loss you feel, no matter how long it has been since your child died.

When my first book was published, I could see written in black and white, the metamorphosis I have been going through. Because of the death of my child at age ten, my life went into a tailspin; I was searching for some meaning and direction and went through many different and soul searching years. At this time I was of the mindset that God was up in his/her heaven and as long as he/she didn't bother me I wasn't about to bother him/her. After Annette's death my thinking changed and I went from being a stay at home mom with a nominal belief in God, to making religion my crutch, according to my family and especially my kids. I was quoting scripture at all my friends and really believed that the bible had all the answers, it was all black and white no gray areas for me. I realize in looking back that I was attempting to do all the right things but doing them without any real emotional attachment or belief. I was desperately seeking for some reason for my child's death and for a direction for my life.

After many years my journey took me into the realm of being a "gung ho" roman catholic, one who had said too many people that unless they were catholic they were not going to get into heaven (shudder). I went to church every Sunday and made sure our children attended their CCD classes, I even began teaching religion classes myself. When I think back on this time in my life I am a little embarrassed to think of the things I said and did that made it seem like I had all the answers, and that being catholic was the only road to heaven. What has changed for me is that I now believe there are many roads that lead to heaven, we are not all on the same road but our destination is the same. I do not believe that any one religion has all the answers. We are all on the same journey just taking different scenic routes, but all ending up in the same place. We are all seeking the same God or higher power, an acknowledgement that our lives mean something and that we are here for a reason.

After this it was my "holy roller" phase which was a time of great spiritual growth as I devoured the bible and tried to learn all I could about the scriptures. I don't like to think about how narrow minded I was that I believed that everything that was in the bible was true and you did not question any of it but took it at face value, and admonished friends and family for what I deemed their lack of faith when they would have discussions on whether this or that could have happened. I was so deeply entrenched in scripture and religion that if something was in the bible it had to be true, there was no room for any gray areas. It was all either black or white, no middle ground or seesawing back and forth. You either believed or you didn't. No fence sitting in this phrase of my growth. I can say now, in hindsight looking back, that I firmly believe this was all planned out for me. I was supposed to study and become immersed in the scriptures. I was on a mission to learn what they truly meant for me and not believe what someone else told me they should mean.

This phase of my journey lasted approximately fourteen years during which I learned a lot about scripture and theology, studied the bible, and got an associates degree in scripture and theology. I had a hunger to learn as much as I could and in so doing became so heavenly minded I was no earthly good. By that I mean that I did nothing but read religious books and immerse myself in religious seminars and all things that would include being covered in what I termed as a blanket of holiness. It's a wonder my family even spoke to me during this time, my sister used to call me a Jesus freak, and my own kids thought I had gone off the deep end. I have to say that I experienced a renewal of my faith, and felt as if I was walking on air, I was like a sponge soaking up every bit of learning that I could. The presence of God was no longer something others told me about, but rather something I could feel and sense. My whole being felt alive and on fire with an awareness of God in such a way that it felt good to be alive. So much energy and information was filling my senses that I knew in my heart, the divine presence was real and I was actually being made so aware of it that my whole body shook with the knowledge of it. I believed with all my heart that what Jesus had spoken to Nicodemus in the garden was absolutely true, you had to be "born again" (there's that statement that I will discuss in detail later in this book) in order to follow him and become one of his disciples. Just as Nicodemus didn't understand what Jesus meant, neither do we. It's not until we learn just what being born again means that we begin to get an understanding of Jesus' message and its importance for each and every one of us.

My next moment of grace was to learn about guilt, you know what I mean, the must go to church or be a sinner phase. Being made to feel ashamed and guilty if you didn't attend mass every Sunday or go to confession where the priest would tell you that you had to perform a certain penance for your sins. As a convert to Roman Catholicism I could never understand how saying certain prayers could absolve you from sin or how going to a priest as an intermediary between God and myself could free me from the covering of sin. Why couldn't I go directly to God myself and tell him what was in my heart. If he truly sees all things then he knows all about my sins before I even voice them and continues to love me anyway. For the longest time I never heard any mention of the love of God or forgiveness preached from the pulpit, only hell and damnation, fear and incrimination. Where were all the messages of love, mercy and compassion that Jesus taught?

I finally came to the realization as I sat in church one Sunday morning that I was being controlled like a puppet, following the rules and decrees of the Catholic Church, where I was being told what to believe and doing what I was told to do. For me at this time in my journey there was no real connection anymore to the religion I was practicing, surely this was not what the spirit planned for God's people? My feeling at the time was that I was going to a building where I sat and listened to someone tell me what to do and feel and think, there was no longer any sense of community or belonging for me. I was questioning everything, where was my sense of independence, my ability to make decisions for myself?

Around this time I began to hear some very disturbing things about the priests from my parish who were celebrating the Eucharist every Sunday. The same priest, who had instructed me in my catechism and baptized me into the catholic faith, left the priesthood to get married.

A total of three priests from the church we belonged to all left the institution of the church. One priest got married to a nun who taught in the school affiliated with the church, while the others became involved in lay life. It was also at this time when the first rumors started circulating about pedophiles in the church, priests preying on young boys. All of this happened in a very short period of time, it left me wondering if the priests and religious were also unhappy with the way things were in the church, and then, what does that say to those of us who sit in the pews and listen to them preaching. The exodus of priests and nuns had begun.

Then in July of 1976, while pregnant with our youngest daughter, my husband and I went on a marriage encounter weekend. It was on this weekend I was told that I was the church, not the building or the priest or minister, or the ruling body of the church, but me. That statement made a tremendous impact on how I viewed my faith, not religion, but faith. I knew in that moment I had been given a tremendous gift, a moment of clarity in my spiritual journey, a moment of clear thinking. It was this statement that helped bring me to the place where I am now. This is a place in my life where I am being encouraged by family and friends to nurture my psychic gifts as a medium and tarot card reader.

It has been, and continues to be, a long and winding road with a lot of soul searching and questions, to get to where I am now. Without any doubt I can honestly state that I wouldn't change anything I have been through because it has been these blessings and graces that have made me who and what I am today. I believe that there is a God, someone who is my higher power. How can you look out at the universe and see all the cosmos and the beauty of the sky, or at a beautiful field full of flowers, or the miracle of a new born baby, and say there is no supreme being that created and masterminded this whole existence that we are living. Also I believe that for some reason which I do not know, I have been gifted with some pretty special gifts which are to be used in service to others. It's pretty amazing realizing that you cannot run away from your destiny or your purpose in life, that eventually you have to acknowledge and face why you are here in this time and place. To be able to state with certainty that you know why you are here, and what it is you are called to do, how awesome is that? To be made aware of your purpose in this life what more could one ask for, I really am truly blessed.
Chapter Two

I know I have come full circle in my spiritual journey, having been led to many diverse and different experiences that prepared me for what I am now doing. With this new awareness of the gifts I was blessed with from birth, I needed to be encouraged and challenged to use them for what God intended them to be used for.

Annette and the messages she sends me from the other side, were the major springboard I needed to help me start believing in this humbling gift of being able to see and hear messages from spirits who have crossed over. When I first began reading tarot cards I became aware that it was so much more than just readings. I was not only reading and allowing my intuition to show me the message in the tarot cards but at the same time I was able to see spirits and hear messages from the clients loved ones who had crossed over. These spirits let me know they were connected to the client by sharing things that were personal to the person I was doing the reading for. Most of the time their messages are sweet and simple, they share that they just want to connect with their family again, to let them know that they are at peace, and in a better place. They also thank their family member for giving them permission to leave and cross over. This brings tears to the eyes of the client as they tell me no one else knew they had done that. Many of them want their family to know that they are no longer in pain or that they are not suffering any more. They want their families and loved ones to know they are still around them and that they can feel their presence through the many different signs they send them.

When I first started sharing the messages I was receiving with my clients, I was a bit apprehensive and fearful, cautious and a bit uncertain. My chatterbox brain was asking the question that I was afraid to answer," What if the messages I was getting were not for the person I was reading, and if not for them then who were they for"? It took a while for me to be comfortable and at ease with this process, to be able to mentally step back during a reading and allow those who wanted to come through do just that.

My gifts and abilities are a tremendous responsibility because the people I am passing on these messages to trust and believe what I am telling them is true and honest. When someone sits across the table from me for a reading, they are the ones who are the recipients of these messages. For them it is the connection to their loved ones who have crossed over, that they were hoping to have. I trust them to let me know if the information I am sharing with them is right or not, and so far the messages have been accurate. I do have to remind the client that I cannot call forth anyone they want to hear from, my experience so far has been that those who want to come through will and sometimes it is not the person the client had been hoping to hear from.

It was those amazing early messages that I received from Annette, and the roller coaster journey they have taken me on, that has been very instrumental in helping me to put my ego aside and trust in the spirit. Even if I don't understand the meaning of the message, the person they are for certainly does, and that's what it's all about, I am only the messenger.

For me learning to trust the spirit is learning to trust myself. It's like being thrown in the deep end of a pool, being terrified of the water, and realizing that as long as you don't panic, you can stay afloat and swim. Or, climbing to the highest diving board to jump into the water below, and even though you are afraid of heights you take a deep breath and safely jump into the water below. I needed to trust what was happening to me even if I didn't totally understand it and open my heart and intellect to accept all that the universe has in store for me. That meant that I needed to claim the gifts that had been lying dormant since I was a child, and use them.

It is still so amazing to me that Annette waited for thirty two years before revealing herself again through the messages she shared with Maggie. I know that even though those thirty two years were a life time to me, there is no time as we know it on the other side. For Annette those thirty two years were the blink of an eye because, her view was:

"A View from the Rainbow!"

Annette chose to wait till she knew I was ready to listen, believe and hear her messages and even though thirty two years had passed since her death, those years seemed like forever to me, but to her, in her realm it was no more than a nano second. Her patience was rewarded when she knew I was ready to be open and believe all she had to say. She patiently waited until everything in my corner of the universe was in sync and I met the right person, Maggie, who I believe Annette chose to be the person she would share her words and messages of hope and comfort.

Maggie became a big part of my journey with Annette, and in looking back I realized that our meeting was in the great cosmic plan for both of us. I first met Maggie online in a genealogy site where we discovered we were both searching for the same family name. I contacted Maggie and found out she lived in England which is where I was born and raised, and, it was awesome to discover that she was related to me. What are the chances of that happening especially with what was about to explode into both of our lives. On my trip home to England in 2007, I met Maggie for the first time. We had lunch together and I spent a delightful two hours with her. I never mentioned or spoke about Annette or what had happened to her. We mainly spoke about her family and the connection we had through my grandmother. It wasn't until I got back home, here in the states, that I got Maggie's first message from Annette. It was a surprise to me to learn that she had this gift of connecting with people from the other side, and being able to communicate with them. That is what began this journey that has been so amazing and gratifying.
Chapter Three

I would not change any of the experiences both positive and negative that have happened to me in the past few years because I know it has all had a purpose and has been for my growth in wisdom and maturity. Certainly, a giant step forward from the person I was just a few short years ago, to the person I am now who is beginning to understand this journey that I call my life. Everyone no matter what they do has the ability to be a better person, someone who others would want to emulate and listen to. We can't all be Mahatma Gandhi or Mother Therese but in our own small way we can change the world by doing the things that make others feel good about themselves.

A huge part of this for me is taking the time to be still and listen to that still small voice from deep within that has been there all along only it wasn't saying what I wanted to hear. Once I was able to put aside my own needs and wants, I could hear the voice coming through loud and clear with the clarity that was there all along, I just wasn't ready to receive it. It is this voice and the awareness it brings that makes this journey so amazing. I am deeply moved and humbled when I connect people with their loved ones who have crossed over, and can put their minds at ease that this is not all there is.

I recently had the opportunity to visit two spiritually gifted women, both psychics', who told me the same thing that I was going to write more books. One of them didn't know that I had already just finished writing my first book. I really didn't feel inspired to begin writing another book again so soon after completing my first one, but the universe and my daughter had other things in mind for me. Annette told me I was going to write a trilogy, a series of three books dealing with her messages. She told me it was with her knowledge and belief that with her help, I could do this. What she told me was a bit hard to believe and understand considering I am still trying to digest the fact that I have just finished writing my first book. Obviously her prompting and encouragement worked because here I am writing book number two in a different format, but one that is still filled with the essence and spiritual presence of my child. Her messages and the readings I have been blessed to be a part of are all a part of this book.

We all have that sixth sense that tells us when something isn't right or gives us the awareness that we shouldn't get involved in a particular situation. Our discernment and intuition will never guide us down a path we are not meant to go. Annette tells me that the still small voice we hear inside our head is our conscience and our guides helping us to make the right choices and decisions. It is for us to allow the blossoming of the spirit within and open ourselves up to spiritual enlightenment. You know the moment when you know that through others, God/spirit or your higher self, that small inner voice, and your guides are definitely trying to get your attention and are all speaking to you. Pay close attention and listen with not only your intellect, but your heart and soul to the stirring of that still small voice within for it is in that moment that you become aware of the presence of God/spirit in your life.

It's not always a religious, mystical or holy experience, but it is always a faith filled one. It is the moment you begin to believe that just maybe this is all true, that we have been given this very precious and wonderful gift in knowing that God/spirit, whatever you want to call it, has been guiding your life all along, even when you shut out His voice and tried to convince yourself it was all lies. He was there in the midst of your questioning, loving you into wholeness and oneness with him.

The song from the movie The Lion King, do you remember it? It says what I am trying to say.

"From the day we arrive on the planet and blinking, step into the sun.

There's more to see than can ever be seen,

more to do than can ever be done.

There's far too much to take in here,

more to find than can ever be found.

But the sun rolling high, through the sapphire sky,

Keeps great and small, on the endless round.

It's the Circle of Life

And it moves us all

Through despair and hope

Through faith and love

Till we find our place

On the path unwinding

In the Circle

The Circle of Life"

That's what we are living, a never ending circle of life that is our journey, our life, nothing is ever ended it just keeps going around and around until it's complete and accomplishes what it was sent out to do. Since the beginning of time when we first began this journey, we have been working toward the completion of our circle, and each time we return we come back to learn more lessons and grow in our wisdom. Sounds easy or at least not too hard, yet each time we come back to live another life we also come back to experience certain things. These experiences help us to expand our horizons and understanding of who and what we are.

If you can put aside all your pre-conceived religious beliefs for just a moment and allow your mind to just be free and clear, you can almost see in your mind's eye the journey, the lives you have lived to get to where you are right now. Guided meditation is a tool you can use to try and reach that part of your mind where memories of your past lives are stored. Creative thought is sometimes said to be past life gleanings, like when we daydream and think about how we would change our lives if we had the ability to do that.

Did you ever go see a movie when you were young and put yourself into the movie? You became the hero or the heroine and did things that were beyond your capabilities. We all daydream about maybe being someone different or living a different life that the one we have now. Who's to say that when we do that we are not actually accessing a past life? Our brains are the repository for everything that has ever happened to us and I know that like me, you have heard the expression that we only use a small part of our brain, the tip of the iceberg is what I have heard. Imagine if you gave yourself permission to access more of the stories that are stored in your brains computer, what an amazing experience that would be.

It moves me deeply when I am able to connect people with their loved ones who have crossed over, or put their mind at ease that this is not all there is. You can see it on their faces, the absolute surprise and joy that here they are able to connect to someone they thought was lost to them forever. Or to hear that they are okay and have met with other family members on the other side, that they let them know how much they appreciate the fact that they sat with them, gave them permission to leave, or did some other special things that they mention that were only known to them.

Chapter Four

After being introduced to the idea of reincarnation, through many different avenues, reading, attending lectures, my own personal experiences, and my curiosity was piqued. I found out from talking to others and reading as much as I could on this subject, that there are two schools of thought. Either you believe in it, and hope it's true, or, you think it's impossible and goes against all that your particular religious upbringing has taught you, so it has to be a lie. Notice I did not say faith because to me religion and faith are two different things; religion is a series of rules and regulations, something you have been taught to believe in by others. Faith on the other hand is something that you have come to be aware of on your own and resides within you.

To help explain the phenomenon of reincarnation I need to share with you the information, thoughts and judgments I have heard over the years. I have heard some people claim that they think the whole idea of reincarnation was made up to help people who needed to have something to believe in that would make the finality of death easier to accept. How can death be final, the end, even though our mortal bodies decay and perish; our spiritual bodies go on to the next lifetime and our consciousness lives on through each succeeding life. So then how can death be final, the end of all that we know?

Even the Christian bible says that our spirit goes on after our physical death, they also tell you that you can communicate and pray and talk to your departed loved ones who are watching over you, this is what many different religions and beliefs tell us. In the Christian bible St. Paul states that when we die and go to heaven we will still know one another. How would that be possible if our consciousness dies when our earthly bodies die, how can we know one another? Our consciousness survives the grave and continues on into our next life where we choose what we want or wish to experience.

We have so many wise and wonderful people writing books that prove life goes on, that death is not the end. The book "Heaven is for Real", is the story about a young four year old boy who died and went to heaven, coming back to tell his parents some pretty remarkable stuff like sitting on Jesus' lap, hearing the angels singing, seeing his sister who his mom miscarried, and his grandfather who he never met. Then there's the atheist neurosurgeon who also wrote a book, "Proof of Heaven" about his experience of dying and going to heaven. Here was someone who had no religious axe to grind, no reason to risk putting himself up for ridicule, a respected and well known Doctor, yet he did just that, he had to share his story. That's just two of the latest books on the subject, is it really a possibility that we've all been here many times before? Why is there such resistance to this thought process that life goes on in a never ending circle until we have done whatever it is we were sent out to do.

Merely mentioning reincarnation has people looking at you like you are from another planet or have lost your marbles. People will tell you that you are stating something that has no way of being proven true one way or another. While it may not be proof, there are books written by scholars that have accounts in them of young children and adults recalling past lives. Can these scientists who are interested in proving the facts of these stories, be making it all up? Not only is reincarnation mentioned in spiritual and religious texts in most eastern religions, it is a tenet among many philosophies and religions including Hinduism and Buddhism. I have heard people say there is no such thing as reincarnation? I think we need to revisit that statement with an open mind.

Reincarnation is not something "just made up" by the New Age community, or believed by eastern religions. The reality of past lives and rebirth has been believed and honored by major religions for thousands of years. We all know that the earth is actually billions of years old, just look at the Grand Canyon, yet many choose to believe that life only began with the creation story, and that Adam and Eve were real people. Or that Jonah was actually in the belly of a whale, so many of the stories in our Christian bible are just that, stories meant to inspire us and teach us a better way to live our lives.

The fact is that reincarnation is very widely accepted and believed in Eastern religions, particularly Hinduism and Buddhism. According to Tibetan Buddhism, each Dalai Lama is considered a reincarnation of a former spiritual teacher. Elder monks look for a boy that exhibits the qualities of the former Dali Lama before choosing their new leader. In fact there was a touching film on this subject called 'Little Buddha' released in 1993.

It has also been noted that the belief in reincarnation was held by early Christians, particularly the Gnostics. Many researchers suspect that this doctrine was removed from various Biblical texts during the Council of Nicaea in three twenty five AD. Theories are often based on this biblical quote from John nine verse twenty three when the disciples asked Jesus, "Who did sin, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus' answer to the question was "neither this man nor his parents sinned". How on earth could someone sin before birth unless, and here is the sixty four thousand dollar statement, they had lived a prior life?

Edgar Cayce (1877 – 1945), was an American psychic known as the "Sleeping Prophet" for his technique of using a sleep like trance when he did readings for his clients. Among his fourteen thousand psychic readings, nearly two thousand of them contained extensive details about past lives. Cayce's readings have all been documented and recorded into transcripts. These famous writings are still available for study today thanks to his non-profit Association for Research and Enlightenment established in 1931.

If the many religious faithful and famous writings aren't enough to make you at least consider the scientific evidence that is available to us, then you need to open your mind and heart to what has been written by prominent authors like Dr. Ian Stevenson, a noted and esteemed scientist, who devoted over forty years to researching and documenting the past life memories of children.

Instead of relying on traditional hypnosis to document that children, most especially, have memories of past lives that are not only vivid but full of accurate details, he personally spoke with and did the research on the details the children mentioned when he spoke with them.

Whereas hypnosis can be thought by some to be somewhat unreliable, a child's memory can be investigated using the scientific method of research and investigation to prove the validity of these children's memories. Dr. Stevenson documented in his book, "Old Souls", the children's claims and would verify them based on the information he received.

He would research the previous life mentioned by the child, then verify the facts from the deceased person's life. He even matched up telling details like birthmarks, scars and other signs that could be confirmed by medical records. Amazingly this man documented over three thousand such cases.
Chapter Five

Thousands of people claim to remember details of previous lives through intuition, dreams and hypnosis. Unfortunately that's not enough evidence to convince skeptical minds, they want more concrete proof. However there is a unique case that may win these people over. This story shares the memories from a boy in India named Taranjit Singh.

This young boy of six remembered a previous life of Satnam Singh in a neighboring village not far away. Satnam was killed in an accident in 1992 while riding his bicycle home. The child was insistent upon this former life, and as a result his family investigated and found that indeed Satnam's parents were in a nearby village. The details Taranjit described about his life as Satnam and the accident were uncanny, down to the blood stained books and the money in his wallet. What other explanation could there be this child had no way of knowing any of these details. So the next time you wonder about reincarnation and past lives, do some research, you may start to think twice about the phrase "you only live once".

There doesn't seem to be any middle ground or straddling the fence in this thought arena of being born again and coming back to this realm to live another lifetime. Even though Annette stated very emphatically that you do come back again and again, it's still is a hard thought or idea for some people to accept. You either believe or don't believe that souls do come back here, to live and learn new lessons and grow in wisdom and heal their karma. That's the whole crux of the truth in reincarnation; you don't have to be a believer in it for it to happen to you, it will happen to you and when it does you may be one of the lucky ones who remember bits and pieces from a previous existence. I cannot say it strongly enough that you do come back for a reason, one that you may not understand in this life time. Each time you return you are the one who chooses what kind of life and experiences you will have. All of this has to do with healing your karma from past lives and decisions you made that need to be made right, this lifetime you choose to be the person who caused hurt or pain.

It bothers some people to think that not only do they come back but they choose all the particulars like time place, parents, and family members. Each time you return you are the one who chooses what life you want to live and the experiences you will have. All of this has to do with clearing your karmic slate from past lives and decisions you made. Much of what I personally believed prior to being shown these truths were colored by my upbringing in the Episcopal, and then the Catholic Church, where I do not remember anyone ever mention or talk about reincarnation. Of course I had heard about people like the Dali Llama, Hindu's and Buddhists, who believed in reincarnation, but that is a totally different culture than the one I lived in. I cannot recall there being any mention of reincarnation, auras and psychic phenomenon as I was growing up or raising my family, it wasn't until I got much older that I first heard anyone talk about it. It was just something no one talked about or believed. I didn't hear a clear message about reincarnation until the late seventies when I was introduced to a friend and fellow sojourner named Brother Joe, who talked about this subject during fellowship time at many prayer meetings held in our home during the late seventies, early eighties.

As I mentioned in my previous book he was someone way ahead of his time who shared much of his faith journey and beliefs with me. At the time I didn't completely understand why he was sharing this information with me; I just knew we connected on a level that was both spiritual and special. Now in hindsight looking back I understand what he was doing. He was one of the people sent to personally help me in my lifetime, during this incarnation, to expand my horizons, rattle my cage, and show me that no matter what I had been thinking, there was so much more for me to personally accomplish in this lifetime.

It wasn't until many years later after his death, that his words to me came true as I began the journey of a lifetime. I still have the bible he wrote in where he told me to live my dream and fulfill my destiny. I believe I am now doing that as I read for clients and connect them to their families on the other side.
Chapter Six

I have heard it said that hindsight is the ability to look back and remember the importance of experiences that you have gone through, things done or said that have changed you in some way. Well if that is true, then I have a definite need to look back even more in my life and recognize, honor and validate all the people who have played such a huge part on the stage that is my life journey. People like my husband Ed, Brother Joe, my dear friends Clare Carr, Maggie Handrik, Barbara Hellenack, Greer Epstein, Patti Squires, Judi Thomases and of course Maggie, the medium in England. The list could go on and on, but you get the idea of what I am saying.

In describing my life I use the word journey because I believe with all my heart and soul that we are all on a wonderful journey in the here and now. Each journey or return here to the earthly plane is so we can heal our karma from things that happened in past lives, both good and bad, and grow in wisdom and learn new teachings. In each reincarnation we are able to facilitate change in our karmic vision and patterns to ones that are more healing and bring wholeness to our personal world and the world at large. How do we do that?

When I asked Annette this question I almost had to laugh, because here she was using language that I am familiar with, to teach me an old truth in a new way. She said to me, "You have heard the expression it takes a village to raise a child, well think about reincarnation as our village, and the child we are raising is ourselves". "Each of our village's is a collection of all of our lifetimes and in each new lifetime we meet up with our soul family, the people who inhabit our village, time and time again". During the waiting time between each incarnation, it is our village that renews and refreshes us, our soul family that helps us to move forward into our next lifetime. She went on to explain that sometimes we are blessed to be made very aware that we are meeting someone we have known before or met before, just can't put our finger on where or when. It's like when you meet someone and you take an instant liking to them, almost as if you have known them your whole life and yet can't remember ever meeting them or being introduced to them before. This is someone from your own special village, your soul family, that you are blessed to be sharing another incarnation with. In other words we need one another in our villages in order to flourish and grow. Annette said to always remember that no one person can say they have it all together, but when we work together, we can have it all.

It takes many incarnations to grow from a young soul into an older soul, someone who has lived many lifetimes and have grown in their awareness of the love that we have been blessed with by spirit, a love that is unselfish, non-judgmental and unconditional. People like Mother Theresa embodied this type of love which for them in this lifetime became a witness and testimony for the world to see what one person can do to change their corner of the world.

During each of the lifetimes that we live, it is the way that we live our life in truth and honesty, compassion and mercy, love of fellow man and sharing the gifts that we each have been given, that determines our growth in perfection as we complete the current lifecycle we are living. For those who do not believe this or pooh-pooh it, all I can say is that they will be very surprised when they cross over and find out that it is all true. Death is not the end. St Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:10-13, "but when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away". So when we reach that state of perfection, there is no need to come back again. "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I understood as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things". As a young soul we spoke and understood this journey as a child might. But when we reached maturity in our thinking and opened our mind we could no longer doubt the truth of reincarnation. "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face". Our awareness and knowledge is seen dimly like a memory or voice that you can't quite get the picture of, but when we look in the mirror we will see face to face because we have taken off the blinders. "Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I am also known". Until that moment of clarity comes for each one of us we are only part of a whole, but when we know the whole truth we will be known in all our glory (KJV New Testament). As we are called to share with others in a healing and uplifting way, we complete another journey of our own soul's path. Wisdom here we come!!!!!
Chapter Seven

During the fourteen year period that my husband and I held prayer meetings in our home, (this was my Holy Roller stage), many mystical and wonderful things were happening. The gifts of the Holy Spirit, the same ones that the early apostles were blessed with, speaking in tongues, healing, prophesy, discernment, wisdom, preaching all became a reality in our down stairs family room on a weekly basis. The words in the bible came alive for us. They were not just words written hundreds of years ago that had no relevance for today, they were today. Personally I could see where the people that the apostles spoke to after their experience in the upper room must have thought they were drunk. This same unexplainable manifestations, healing, tongues, interpretation of tongues, prophesy, discernment, wisdom, knowledge, all the gifts that were mentioned in the Acts of the Apostles were being seen and heard in our home in Hazlet NJ every Friday night by about forty to fifty people. It was a consistent happening that continued for almost fourteen years, and one that we were all in awe of.

People were asking us to pray with them for the infilling of the Holy Spirit and the release of all the gifts into their life, and what was so astounding is that it was happening. The people attending the prayer meetings were hungry for everything that God had to offer them, and when they asked to be filled with the Holy Spirit, God answered in a powerful way. I can only imagine how the disciples must have felt in that upper room when the tongues of fire descended on them and they began to speak in other tongues, and why people thought they were drunk or crazy.

It was happening again all over the country, not just in our home on Friday nights, the spirit was being poured out again to a world that was desperate for a sign of God's enduring love for His children. People were beginning to ask, believe and claim the blessings and gifts of the Holy Spirit to be released into their lives. In the Catholic Church and many other denominations this outpouring of the gifts of the spirit became known as the charismatic renewal. What an utterly amazing time that was, I was high on the Lord, devouring scripture, seeing with my own eyes the miracles that were being shown to us as we witnessed people not only believing but receiving and using these gifts. It was humbling to watch as someone received the gift of tongues for the first time or shared a word of knowledge, or, were slain in the spirit as they were prayed with. Asking and believing in the outpouring of the spirit into their lives, changed people as they became new creations filled with the love of God. You can never be the same again, no matter how much time has passed since your first encounter with the spirit of God; you can never forget the moment that the spirit became alive and dwelt in you.

Another wonderful gift of that time was the phenomenon of "being slain in the spirit', when people prayed with you. It's not an easily understandable statement but I know of no other way to describe what happened when a person was prayed with by a roomful of believers who were convinced of the power and belief of the gifts of Pentecost. It is actually a beautiful gift from God, and one that would happen during that prayer time. It showed a total surrender and trust in a God you couldn't see or touch yet could feel the power through the community praying in total belief, that what was being asked for was in accordance with God's will for that person. The spirit's presence during that prayer time was felt by everyone, but most especially by the person being prayed with. They would actually fall down as if they fainted, never getting hurt or feeling foolish, and be in another place totally at peace with the spirit and what was happening to them. Sometimes they would have visions or hear a word of prophesy while in this attitude of surrender and belief.

It was a thrilling time to be involved in the charismatic renewal and be a small part of this movement of God/spirit in our lives. We were witnessing people's lives being changed and healed, not through medicine or doctors but through the power of something much more powerful working in their lives. As people surrendered to the prompting of the Holy Spirit their lives changed for the better. If they were depressed, their depression was lifted. We saw addicts healed of their addictions to alcohol or drugs, and turn their lives around. Marriages were healed, people returned to their faith, and lives were made whole. All of this was again for me, a preparation for what was to come.
Chapter Eight

I specifically remember a couple who attended a Friday night prayer meeting in our home and proceeded to say they really did not believe in all this nonsense about people being overcome by the Holy Spirit and falling down as if in a faint when they were prayed with. Sounds awful, and for many people it was a scary thought that while they were being prayed with all of a sudden they would just fall to the floor as if in a swoon. Once you experience this happening to you it is no longer something that you afraid of, but until it happened to you, you just couldn't understand it. This particular night, the husband told us it would be okay to pray with his wife on the understanding that she didn't get "slain in the spirit". Another name for this phenomenon was dormition.

She really didn't believe it could happen spontaneously and thought people did that to themselves because it was something they had heard about happening to others. I smiled to myself because those of us who were praying for and with her knew we had no control over what would happen. We would gently place our hands on the persons shoulder, arm etc. and begin praying to a God who truly does hear and answer our prayers. It was the power of prayer and the anointing of the Spirit that was so present and believed in by those of us who were praying, that would be the reason for anything happening. Anyway to make a long story short she did of course come under the anointing and was certainly "slain in the spirit". She told us afterwards that she felt nothing but peace and actually saw Jesus. She said it was the most beautiful moment of her life, one she would never forget.

This is something that has happened to a lot of people while being prayed with; they would have visions of Jesus or Mary and didn't think it was strange or odd. At the moment they had the vision it was a major revelation to them that this was all real and true. You couldn't manufacture these events if you tried.

Isn't this one of the psychic gifts, being able to connect to those we have loved who have crossed over to the other side? Jesus and Mary are certainly loved ones and to be able to see them in a vision or have an awareness of their presence during a time of prayer is a beautiful gift. Also if you have ever heard a word of prophesy given during prayer, it is awesome, a moment when you can hear what the spirit has planned for you. People have told me they also smell roses while praying, isn't that one way for the blessed mother to let you know she is present in your prayer time? Annette has shared with me many times that our loved ones let us know they are around. In my first book she gives many examples of how we miss those signs. For me, Jesus, Mary, God and the Holy Spirit are my loved ones so seeing them when I pray is not a strange occurrence, but one in which they affirm for me our connectedness.

This is something that I have learned to accept in my daily living. The bible tells us that visions, signs and wonders will follow those who believe, so it is totally believable that if we are deep in prayer and attuned to the spirit, then we can encounter our loved ones through signs and wonders, like visions, smells, sounds and messages given through a psychic medium. There are also the messages we receive ourselves, and the many ways our loved ones try to get our attention to let us know they are around. Ever put something down and then when you went to get it, the item had been moved from its original place? How about light bulbs flickering, radio's going on all by themselves, a book showing up that you wanted to read, knowing who was calling you on the phone before you answered it. All part of the psychic phenomenon called messages from the other side.

Those who have crossed over still love those they loved in life, but, they have a much better understanding of the emotion called love now, far better than they did before. They do not feel as if they are absent from the living, only present in an entirely different way than the living can fathom. Because love never dies, they, our loved ones, want to relieve the loneliness of the living and so they communicate and send messages, even while knowing that such communications themselves can make the living more anxious again because they do not understand the how of what is happening.

Sometimes their messages take the form of a hasty, "Yes, I'm all right", or "I am okay and at peace", when the recipient of the message is hoping for so much more. Sometimes they will share something that only their loved one will recognize, my job is to say what I am hearing and hope they will understand the message.

You know when some people forget to call, text, send letters or postcards when they travel, caught up as they are in new experiences. Similarly, it's the same with our loved ones who have crossed over, they are so involved in their own mission and learning that sometimes they ignore the nagging of the living, whose thoughts rise up with reminders, saying, "Why haven't you called or written?" That is why it to me, she can be a long time since someone has passed before they contact their loved ones, they need to find the person willing to participate in their messages and speak them out.

One thing I am often asked is how old Annette is when she appears to Maggie or me. I want to explain something here that when Annette appears to Maggie and appears as she did in life before she died, as a ten year old child. For Maggie this is someone she has come to know and love, an impish "little madam" as she calls Annette when Annette gets to cheeky. Maggie has come to know and love her in this beautiful way she has of appearing and revealing herself to her, it's a beautiful relationship they have and I am delighted that Annette chose her as her messenger.
Chapter Nine

Before we go any further on this journey, we need to understand that the bible as we know it today has gone through many revisions and different translations. The translators have done their best to make the bible readable by pretty much everybody, but in studying it, I learned that quite a few words were changed because they had no English translation that meant exactly what the writer was intending. From what I understand and believe, the bible is a beautiful book filled with God's promises and love for his children. It is filled with stories meant to inspire and direct one's life, stories and messages that guide and touch our lives. The original would be so different from what we have today because of the language changes that were necessary to make it readable to the general public.

Some people who are highly religious and take the bible literally will tell you that the bible clearly states that being psychic or contacting people who have crossed over to the other side are just tricks and foolery used by people who are using gifts that are condemned in the bible. These same people will try to convince you that the people who are psychics, mediums and astrologers, are going against Christian beliefs and teachings found in the bible. Personally, for me, I do not believe that, although at one time, if you had asked me if it was okay to go to a psychic medium or talk to an astrologer about your past and your future, I probably would not have had any good things to say in a positive way. Most likely I would have discouraged you from going. What caused me to change my mind? Well a lot of it had to do with the subtle changes I sensed in my beliefs after Annette died. I found it so hard to believe that death was the end and that her soul was now released into the atmosphere to float around for all eternity, doing what? Was heaven really "up there" or was it here and now? It took me a long time to come to the point in my life where I can say without a shadow of doubt that there is a God, and that he/she is a lot less complex than I had been led to believe.

I always tried to believe in God but to be very honest there were times in my life when it was truly hard for me to do that. I struggled with the concept of a God that was supposed to be all merciful, loving and forgiving, who had only your best interests at heart. If this is true then was allowing young children to die before they had a chance to live part of his plan? Man did not have the power over life and death, but he does have free will to make choices that could change the way he lived his life. If this Supreme Being was all that the bible stated, then why did my daughter and many other children have to die? Couldn't God have saved them all with one word, one response to the prayers being said by grieving parents?

My mind swirled with conflicting thoughts of a God who on the one hand was spoken of as loving and caring toward his children, and the other one who I felt did nothing and allows the world to do its thing. Whatever did Annette do to deserve the kind of death she endured? These and so many more questions swirled around in my mind and it was during these times that I was in a teachable place open to the possibilities of different ideas and teachings. My faith journey is one that has encompassed a tremendous shift in my thinking and reality, I have begun to educate myself on so many levels and I have a great teacher in my daughter Annette, who is instrumental in teaching me so many things that she is seeing on the other side.

After I wrote my first book one of the reviews I received from a friend of mine after she read my book was as follows:

"A story of not only heartbreak, but mind-boggling contact from the other side, and from "across the pond". This is the story of one families never ending spirituality, how they never lost their faith. Definitely a must read for those who are questioning the mysteries of life, and hopefully are able to reach some solace by finding their own Annette."

I just love the way this reviewer said that she hoped everyone would be able to find their own Annette. What a powerful statement that is, think about it, wouldn't you love to find your own Annette? When I read that review, it was one of those "ah-ha" moments that happen to you every once in a while. Wouldn't it truly be wonderful if everyone could believe that they indeed have their own Annette, someone who is able to reach out to them from the other side and affirm for them the validity of life continuing? We have all had loved ones who have crossed over, and even if we never voiced the desire, have wished that there was some way we could contact them again.

It is really so simple, all it takes is being open and believing in those things that you once thought were impossible. It is as simple as opening up your awareness and reality to the movement of the spirit in our lives to include our own Annette. Just think about it, wouldn't it be absolutely amazing.

Another person wrote this review for my first book and it speaks deeply to the core of what I believe. "Grief is a very strong emotion and when you realize that you really will meet your loved ones, you really will later on, knowing that they're fine and in a beautiful, incredible and divine Universe and that the love between you is still there, then it just takes the edge off that grief. There is so much comfort in the book because you can 'feel Annette' when you read it. You can feel a light energy coming from the book and you know that your loved one still exists. There is so much comfort in that, even though we miss them, we want to hug them and want to be with them.

Finally, it is very important to stay open because the statistics tell us that one in four people have some kind of sign, so stay open to the sign because the sign is that your loved one is telling you, "I still exist, and I still love you. I know you need to grieve but have a good life", and you will".

Chapter Ten

Famous writings from the modern age are found in many areas, but among the most notable is a book written by Brian L. Weiss, MD entitled "Many Lives, Many Masters". A traditional practicing psychiatrist, Dr. Weiss was introduced to the world of reincarnation through one of his patients who recalled her past life traumas during one of her sessions with Dr. Weiss. It began him on the road to discovering that we have indeed all lived past lives that are held in the computer we call the brain. He went on to document many such stories with the permission of his clients who had no idea what they were saying when they entered this hyper state of hypnosis and were recalling past lives that could be documented and proven.

When someone we love dies, it can feel as though they've been ripped from our lives forever, leaving a gap and emptiness that we think can never be filled by anything else. The truth is that the people we were close to in life are always with us. Because our spirit and consciousness lives on, they are able to get messages across to us; all they want is for us to know that they're okay. They have the ability to know how upset and saddened we are about the emptiness and void their death has left in our lives, and want to make sure we're taken care of and will move on with our lives. Or, they may have died suddenly and are having a hard time letting go of their life. Maybe they are just checking up on us over the years to see how we are, they may want to acknowledge a birthday, an anniversary or the birth of a new baby in the family. Sometimes, they may just want to caution us about a bad situation we may be getting involved with. It's amazing to me how much they are still connected to those who are left behind. For us then, it is learning to know what signs to look for, so you'll get the message they are trying to get through to you. This is where a good tarot card reader comes in.

Once we know what the signs are, then we know what to look for. This usually happens when we're tuned to the right "frequency." For me it happens when I'm in a state of relaxation and my brain waves have slowed down, like before I do a reading and meditate before my client comes. It can also happen when you're doing something dull or repetitive, and get into a state of mind in which you "zone out." If you ever find a deceased loved one just popping into your head when you're driving, doing chores or just kicking back and not really paying attention, it could be that that loved one is trying to say something to you. Dreams are a state in which we are particularly perceptive of their presence, so if you have a dream of someone departed that seems real, it probably is. You should write down as many details as you can recall, and see if you can find the message they are trying to get across to you.

Sometimes a spirit might not go directly to you because you have made it clear that the thought of anything psychic frightens you. If that's the case then they might be having too hard a time getting through to you. Or you might be ignoring their signals because you just don't believe in the reality of this being able to happen. If you're not getting the message, they may turn to someone more susceptible. If a living friend or family member calls you or shows up at your door one day and says, "Hey, you just popped into my head and I had to get in touch to see how you're doing," it might be the idea was planted in their head by a departed spirit. A spirit might even push them to buy you a gift, something you have always wanted, they'll think it's their own idea, but the soul of the departed is the one who actually implants it. Animals and babies are much more in tune with spiritual energy. If you've been ignoring your deceased loved one's attempt to contact you, your animals or babies might begin acting funny by getting excited, making unusual noises, or staring at what seems like nothing.

As you know with various haunting situations, spirits, being made up of energy, can intermingle with other energy fields. Sometimes they figure out that they can manipulate electricity and electronic devices. Sometimes when your loved one is trying to get a message through, they might flicker lights move things or cause things to turn on unexpectedly, just to let you know they are around. Have you ever had a radio come on by itself or the TV turn on and no one was anywhere near the remote? Sometimes they'll even cause the phone or doorbell to ring, but no one will be there when you go and answer it. If unusual things begin to happen, it might be someone is trying to get your attention. Don't jump at shadows; not every little thing is a ghost of your past, or a message from a departed loved one, however, don't ignore it when things begin to happen or patterns emerge. Pay special attention to them, they are, as I have stated before, your loved ones way of trying to contact you.
Chapter Eleven

How many times have you thought to yourself or made the statement to a friend or family member that you would give anything to be able to spend one more day, even one more hour with your mother, father, spouse, partner, sister, brother, grandparents, child, a dear friend, etc.? Anyone that we shared a deep and loving relationship with when they were alive would be someone we would love to spend one more day, one more afternoon, or one more hour with. We would cherish, appreciate and validate that special time and not waste one second of it in disagreement or disharmony, rehashing old hurts or quarrels. I believe we would use the time to tell them what they mean to us and how much we love them and that we miss them so much. Our whole intent and purpose for the time we had been given would be to take the time to listen to what they had to say, really focus on and pay attention as they shared all their learning, and hopes for our future. Our busy lives would all of a sudden be placed on a back burner as we decided to take the time to just sit and hold them and share conversations you wished you had shared with them before they crossed over.

Time is such a precious commodity yet we all walk around acting as if we had all the time in the world, as if death is way off in the future and we had loads of time to do all the things we had promised ourselves we would do before father time came knocking on our door and our life was changed forever by the passing of our loved one. I love the idea of creating a bucket list of things we want to do, like white water rafting, air gliding, zip lining, Para sailing, think of all the things you want to do and do them. Life is to short and passes by to quickly that we do not need to have any regrets when we get to old to do those things on our bucket list. We treat life as if it will never end, so much so that time is not so precious while our loved ones are here in the physical world. We always think we have tomorrow to say I love you, or I'm sorry, or please forgive me, or I forgive you, or to do the things on your own personal bucket list. It's always I'll do it tomorrow, go see that movie tomorrow, go out to eat in that restaurant tomorrow, take that trip we always dreamed of taking but never got around to it, tomorrow.

Today should be the day you wear those silk pajamas instead of saving them for a special occasion, wear your good jewelry and that pretty dress, and use the good china and the crystal that has been put on display and saved for special occasions. We tend to forget that time is fleeting and those things you keep putting off till tomorrow, are now here. Sadly for some, the tomorrow they were waiting for never comes. I am reminded of when my mother in law passed and we were cleaning out her apartment, in her dresser drawer was a package wrapped in tissue paper. As I opened it I smelt her perfume and saw the most gorgeous pair of red silk pajamas that she was saving for a special occasion, I thought at the time how sad it was that she never got to wear them.

When our loved ones cross over we realize the true gift that time is and how quickly life can change in the blink of an eye. All you are left with after they die is regret that you never did the things that you wanted to do with them. That's a big part of grief and the grieving process, coming to terms with the regrets we harbor in our hearts for missed opportunities and unsaid words of love and thankfulness.

In talking to people about their loved ones who have crossed over, many people mention to me that they are sorry that they didn't or couldn't express their love or tell their loved one certain things. But, once they die they have no such inhibitions. Through private prayer and storytelling to their friends and family, they open their hearts and let them in on every thought and endearment that they should have said while they were here. There is no reason to hold back now, they sit and cry at the grave side and pour their hearts out, leaving nothing left unsaid or unspoken. With the passing of their loved one the dam has burst and they can now feel free to say all the things they were either embarrassed or uncomfortable saying in life. Why is it we are so afraid of expressing our feelings and emotions to each other? Are we afraid of rejection or ridicule?

Don't be that person that sits in abject grief wishing for one more day. Say and do what you need to say and do now while they are still with you. What I wouldn't give to have one more day with my daughter Annette, or my mother, my sisters June, Carol and Pat, or my brother Ron. There is so much I would like to have asked them and told them about how much I cared for them and what they meant to me. Now I wish I could have put aside the petty family quarrels and disagreements that seemed so important at the time they happened but once they had passed on, seem so insignificant. I know they understand that now on the other side, about how much I loved them and cared for them, but I wished I had the courage to say it to them when they were here and a living breathing part of my life.
Chapter Twelve

The one question I am always asking myself, one I am trying to understand on a much deeper level is, how does believing in reincarnation change my thinking about living my life here and now? As I shared in my last book, reincarnation is not a revolving door type of happening, nor is it something that is forced on a soul. You come back when you make the choice to once again experience another life here on earth and continue healing your own aura and karma, and learn new life lessons.

There is this amazing place within each of us that doesn't just think, but knows we have been here before, it's called our consciousness which continues after our physical death. This is the place where all memories of our past lives are stored, it's like a great big computer where all the memories of the people we were in past lives are kept. It is from this place where every once in a while you can get a glimpse of what you were before.

Have you heard of the movie "The Sixth Sense"? It's a movie I saw a while ago but didn't really understand until I began learning about reincarnation. I have learned that almost everyone has this sixth sense where we know that we have been here before, have lived past lives, and grown in our understanding of our spiritual journey and begun to learn what ever lessons it is we need to become immersed in this time around. This kind of thinking might scare or frighten some people who fear death and the unknown. For others it gives them hope that death is indeed not the end of our presence here on earth, that there is indeed so much more waiting for us after our physical death

Is it possible to move beyond what we have been taught all our lives, and begin the journey to a new awareness and belief that we do come back again to continue this circle of life that we began eons ago? The answer to that question lives in the subconscious mind of each one of us, and really begs one to learn the answer to this question.

But just how do you go about learning the truth about reincarnation? Like anything else that you want to learn you study everything you can on the subject, read books, attend lectures, talk to others who have experienced such happenings or remember them, and open yourself up to the possibility that it can and does happen. Our version of what we think life is changes when we begin to open ourselves up to more insight and awareness of what the reality of our life cycle really is.

Have you heard about the existence of orbs that appear in pictures that people take, etc.? When I went on a tour of a cemetery with a group of friends and stepped out of my car I took this picture.

I was so excited when I saw the picture on the screen in the camera. Orbs, orbs and more orbs. How on earth could I have captured so many orbs in one picture? I quickly took another one but there was no evidence of anything like this in the next picture. My camera was not an expensive one; it was a digital camera that we use to take pictures when we go places. The lens certainly was not dirty as one of my friends suggested, it was not raining, and there was no mist in the air that could have caused the orbs to appear. If my camera was malfunctioning then surely every picture I took that night would have had the same images on them. I took another picture immediately after taking this one to see if the same images would be on there and of course it wasn't. This was my first encounter actually seeing orbs in a cemetery; I was so in awe of the picture that I sent it to all my friends and got some pretty skeptical remarks back but no one will tell me that the picture I took that evening was staged.

Picture taken in Dover, Delaware at a cemetery tour in 2013

Every picture I took after this one was perfectly normal with nothing out of the ordinary and certainly no orbs. I was intrigued by the fact that the orbs only showed up in the first picture I took. It was obvious I didn't need a special camera to capture these amazing images; just being in the right place at the right time was enough. The cemetery where this picture was taken is an old cemetery with graves dating back to the early seventeen hundreds. There are lots of old graves in this churchyard, so lots of orb activity. I do not profess to understand the nature of what an orb is or why it reveals itself at certain times, but it certainly makes us sit up and take notice. It's another of those spiritual happenings that occur that have no explanation, they just happen. I do know that this picture is not in any way photo shopped or altered as was suggested by the same friend who said my camera lens must have been dirty. To me it was proof that orbs, another psychic phenomenon, do exist and are always around us, we are just able to see them more clearly at certain times.

I'm sure you must have heard people talking about seeing orbs and auras, and other kinds of psychic happenings. Maybe you have even heard people talking about re-connecting with family and friends who have crossed over? Then there are the ones who have photographic proof of the existence of these spiritual orbs. Of course there are still going to be those who "pooh-pooh" it and try to convince others that it's just a hoax, because they can't believe it themselves, they find it laughable that there are others who do. The question still remains: What is it and why are these things happening where others can witness and see them?

Think about what John Edwards, Theresa Caputo, Sylvia Brown, James Van Praagg do, these people are all leaders in the field of psychic phenomenon and yet none of them can explain with any satisfaction why their psychic abilities have been revealed to them and why. What about the TV shows like John Edwards Crossing Over and the Long Island Medium, where the main topic is on someone who is able to share their gift of seeing and hearing from loved ones who have crossed over. Both John Edward and Theresa Caputo are gifted by being able to receive messages in the same way.

These people are able to share their spiritualism and awareness of being able to communicate with the dead with the general public through their reality television shows that have huge followings. What is it that they all do that intrigues even the disbelievers among us? Is it the fact that they are telling their audiences things that only they would know, like who is on the other side with them, or reminding them of something that happened that only they would know? It's a statement I mention to my own clients, you cannot make this information up and even if you could, would you even bother.

There is a plethora of new authors who are unknown to the general public when they write their books, who are telling fantastic stories of what heaven is like and what to expect when we die and cross over, because of the experiences they have had. These books become instant best sellers with people rushing out to buy them and voraciously reading these stories. Why do you think this happens? Maybe it's because people are anxious and hungry to learn if heaven is real and what happens to us when we die?

What makes these people believable is not only the fact that they state they have been there and have come back to tell us what it is like, but, they have no axe to grind, no ulterior motive in recounting these life changing experiences. I mentioned two of these books earlier. One of them in particular, a neurosurgeon who says he died and came back, had a lot to lose, he was a respected surgeon and doctor who prior to his experience had little or no belief in God or heaven. Another book written by the parents of a young boy that says he also died and came back and started to relate things to them over a period of years about where he went when he died which now has been turned into a movie. Is this all fact or fiction? You have be the one to decide for yourself if it holds a remnant of truth, just make sure you have opened your mind and heart to the possibility that it just might be true.

So if death is not the end, as Annette has been telling us, along with these authors, then what is the truth? The curiosity and great interest that is being shown in these types of books is like a great wave rolling toward the shore which doesn't diminish in power until it has accomplished what it started out to do. We rush out to buy books, charging forward filled with a need and hunger to know if this is all true, and for most of us hoping beyond hope that it is. We may not acknowledge it but we all have this curiosity and hunger to know what waits for us on the other side once we have died. As our population continues to age, the need increases to be reassured that this life is not all there is. We really want to believe there is more, but the question remains for a lot of us, and that is, "Is reincarnation something I can really believe in or is it like so many other things, a passing fancy, a flash in the pan"?

I believe this is one of those burning questions that people are running around seeking to find the answers to and why someone like Theresa Caputo can become so popular that you have to wait four years for a reading with her.

Have you taken a close look at some of the early religious paintings and seen the visible aura's that are around the person that the painter painted? Could that possibly be an aura and if so then it shows that auras have existed for a long, long time. Look carefully at many of the paintings and you will see what is painted around the heads of the people in those early paintings, could it be an aura? Or, go into any church and look carefully at the stained glass windows, could those be auras of light around the heads of the people in those stained glass windows? The aura's are not only around the heads of the main characters but also others. Were the artists painting what they knew to be true and normal, not knowing or caring that hundreds of years later people would be debating why they had painted circles of light around the heads of their subjects? Were they in fact painting what they saw, something that no one questioned whether or not it was true, because it was an accepted part of their everyday life? They knew that auras were real; they knew that we all emit energy from our bodies and that this energy is called an aura. Did the artists actually paint what they saw, and did they indeed have the knowledge that aura's were not strange or uncommon?
Chapter Thirteen

If you are at all familiar with the bible, and many us are, you will know from recalling those stories you heard over and over, that astrology was obviously accepted and used in the time of Jesus. It was not frowned upon or feared as something you dare not dabble in. All you have to do is read the story of the birth of Jesus to find a very strong telling of the three wise men, astrologers of their time, who knew to follow the star and it would lead them to the place where the messiah would be born. I do not begin to understand all the nuances and wording that are in the bible, but I do know that this particular story states clearly that these wise men were following the star to the birthplace of Jesus. They knew that this amazing and profound moment in history had been foretold in the stars.

There are many good people who are helping others to deal with grief and uncertainty using astrology and medium ship along with tarot card readings. Astrology and tarot help them to understand what is happening in their lives and why. Giving them guidance by reading their astrology chart, or sharing messages from the other side, lightens their spirit and gives them hope so they can move on from the darkness that grief and unbearable sorrow brings.

As in any other field of service there are unscrupulous people, but on the whole the ones I have had the good fortune to meet are just trying to help people move on in their lives and to understand that death is not the end of our relationship with one another. It's not fortune telling, or predicting the future or future events. It's not done in a painted gypsy caravan parked on the side of the road with a wrinkled old lady wearing big gold hoop earrings, dressed like a gypsy, gazing into a crystal ball. Or, like the fortune tellers we have all seen at fairs and carnivals, where you go into a darkened room and sit at the table where a woman dressed in a long flowing skirt and peasant blouse with a crystal ball and tarot cards in front of her, tells you your future.

If you remember the movie "Ghost", it is more like that than anything else, a loved one who has died, wants to connect with a loved one that is still here before they can move on. The role that Whoopi Goldberg played of the reluctant messenger is similar to the role of astrologers and mediums today. Remember how hesitant she was to pass on messages to the person that was left grieving? She was afraid that the grief stricken woman she was passing the messages on to would not believe her, and rightly so. As the movie progressed she was able to give convincing proof that she was not a phony or a charlatan, but was the genuine article.

When people are looking for answers to the questions in their heads dealing with life and why they are here, they seek the wisdom and knowledge that an astrologer has or a gifted psychic can share with them. As in the movie the person receiving the messages has some doubts and concerns about whether or not the messages are for real, and rightly so. But in the end honesty and the content and validity of the messages breaks through any and all doubts.

Someone made the statement to me that true wisdom can only come from God alone (James 3:13-18; Proverbs 9: 10). I have never claimed otherwise. Wisdom is one of the gifts that come from God or Spirit, and wisdom grows over the course of many lifetimes. This was someone who was trying to show me that what I am doing is not in accordance with God's will and that I was misleading people by doing readings and connecting them with their departed loved ones. I do not argue with people. I just send them light and love because this is what they truly believe, and until their hearts and minds are opened you cannot convince them that there is another way.

Being the intermediary or messenger for others is an awesome and heavy responsibility, one that is not taken lightly by a genuinely gifted person. Helping people to understand that death is not the end of our existence and that there is more can't be wrong, otherwise why would people have these gifts and abilities that offer comfort and hope? I believe that every single person is gifted some way or another; some just have their giftedness more fine-tuned than others.

There is not anyone who really fully understands what is written in this book we call the bible. Many of the writings and messages have more than one meaning so are misunderstood and are still being studied and debated by scripture scholars two thousand years after the events happened. They were originally written down for the people and churches of the time that the disciples were establishing. I don't believe the scripture writers wrote their thoughts and memories with the idea that we in the twenty first century would be reading what they wrote. After all, they believed that the second coming of the Christ was imminent and would happen in their lifetime.

When you study the bible you have to read it with an awareness and realization that in some instances there is no way you can apply what the scripture writer wrote over two thousand years ago, and have it make any sense to your life today. If we did, then we would all be drinking poison and handling snakes during worship services, like they do in the south, with a firm belief that nothing would happen to us. I'm not about to do either one, what about you?

My one contention with people who quote scripture to justify their beliefs is that they take only the verses they want and disregard what comes before and after the verses they quote. I personally do not believe that the entire bible is fact and that we are supposed to follow every word. If you believe that go and read Leviticus and tell me that you follow everything it says. If you truly believe that everything in the bible is fact, then you have to buy into all of it and not just the parts that prove your point of view.

The gospel writers and the writers of the Old Testament were writing for the people of their time, and as my friend Brother Joe once told me, if you want to really understand scripture then you have to read it with the mindset of someone born in the time of Christ. What we need to remember is that it is oral tradition, stories passed down from generation to generation, to help people deal with their lives. Leviticus is the book of rules and laws, very hard to live by in today's world, but at the time they were written they made perfect sense. Jeremiah is a book revealing more of the law but also revealing the softer side of the God they worshipped. The book of Exodus reveals the obedience that their God demanded of them by raising up Moses, and asking the Jewish people to follow him into the desert where they wandered for forty years. So much more is in this book that we profess to believe and follow, yet so much of what has been written in these books is not appropriate or believable in today's modern world.

So next time you start to quote scripture verses at someone to prove your point, stop and think about what you are saying. If you don't live it yourself don't expect others to.
Chapter Fourteen

We are just relearning things that were common place in the times of the apostles and in the times of the early painters of religious art. Sadly we have been told that these things like auras and psychic gifts were evil or taboo or New Age thinking by others. Is this something that in the time of Jesus and continuing afterwards, before our world became so sophisticated, was considered normal and commonplace? Were the auras that artists were able to see and paint things that today only certain people are open and gifted to see? Deep down you may be secretly hoping that it is all true. That the vision the early Christians and artists thought were totally normal, are gifts that are being revived again in our time by a God or Supreme Being who knows they are desperately needed in today's world.

Do mediums really communicate with the spirits of those who have crossed over to the other side? Are there really specially gifted people who are able to hear and receive messages from people who have died? Can astrologers really read the stars in the heavens and tell you your life journey through a chart? For those of us that not only believe this is possible, but have seen it happen time and time again, we truly believe in the amazing ability of today's astrologers who can do this and so much more. The same is true of mediums that are gifted with the ability to pass on messages from their clients loved ones who have crossed over. From my own experiences the messages that I receive for my clients are ones of comfort and affirmation that their loved one is at peace and in a better place. Unfortunately a great many people still think that people who are able to do this are dabbling in black magic or something evil, and state emphatically that as far as they are concerned it's just not possible to connect to the spirits of people who have crossed over.

My personal belief is that the people who claim this isn't possible are scared and threatened by the things they do not understand, or by a God who would allow "stuff" like this to happen in the first place. I have heard them state the God they worship wouldn't allow this to happen. Yet they are more than willing to believe that this same God would allow children and adults to see apparitions, and grown men to claim they have the ear of God and are able to grant you absolution from sin. If it's true, and God/Spirit would not allow these types of gifts into his universe, then why are so many people willing to pay an astrologer, medium or tarot card reader to do a reading for them in the hope that they will learn about what is in their future or past, or hear from that one person that they miss so much. There are so many things that just don't make sense to the average person so trying to explain miracles or why church doctrine says what it does, only causes disagreements and bad feelings. Harder yet, try explaining to someone who is an atheist, doesn't understand, or totally disagrees with what astrologers and mediums do. Why would the peace, joy and sense of closure that a medium or physic brings into a person's life be thought of as wrong?

Again, doesn't the bible speak about angel beings having communication with people here on earth, starting with the first book of the bible, with Adam and Eve? Abraham and Sarah also heard a lot from angelic beings, as did Moses who was destined to bring the Israelites to the Promised Land and give them God's law in the Ten Commandments. Imagine God spoke to him on the mountain top out of a bush that was on fire. Also Elijah, Jonah, Mary, Joseph, Paul, Peter, and John, just to mention a few. What about the dreams you have are so vivid you can believe they really happened and are true, where you have had visits from loved ones? Remember Joseph's dreams where he was told by the angel not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife even though she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit. Again, after the birth of Jesus, Joseph had another dream in which he was told to take Mary and the baby, leave Bethlehem immediately, and go to Egypt. This was so that Herod would not be able to kill the Messiah.

Also remember again that the wise men were astrologers who were following the heavenly star to find the place where Jesus would be born. They knew through the use of astrology that the long awaited and promised Messiah was going to be born where the bright star hovered in the heavens, over Bethlehem. Because they knew and believed what the stars foretold, they had followed the star to his birthplace, wanting to find and worship the babe who would change the world. Herod asked his own private astrologer to read the charts to tell him the time and place where the Messiah would be born. His astrologer couldn't give him this information, so he asked the wise men to stop on their way back to their homeland, and let him know where the babe was born, so he could also go and worship the new Messiah. The wise men, sensing Herod's intentions were not to be believed, after they visited the birthplace of Jesus, went home via a different route without having to divulge the location to him.

To make sure that this promised Messiah was killed, Herod had all the babies in his jurisdiction who were under two years of age, murdered, hoping that the new messiah would be one of those who were killed. All of this is clearly stated in the bible, foretold and predicted through, gasp, astrology. If you haven't read these stories please get a bible and do so, especially if you think that what I have just shared is not true.

Chapter Fifteen

When we die do you really think it matters what our religion was or what our particular denominations told us to believe? Will we be asked by the great ascended master who is God or Spirit, what religion we practiced and believed in while in this incarnation? Remember you are the one who chooses what religion you will be for each incarnation, along with all the other things you choose to experience this time around. I don't believe it is important what religion we practiced; it is man giving to the larger community of believers, a sense of being part of who invented, created and named religions as a way to worship and explain the spirit of God that they believed in. It was also a way of controlling people's lives, by telling them from birth who, what, where and how they believed. Our religious affiliation gives us a sense of belonging to something bigger than we are. This is where we first hear the stories and tenets of our religion, those wonderful stories from the old and new testament in the bible that help teach us the teachings and magnitude of a God that created this universe called earth, that we live in and have our being.

I have heard so many people make the statement, I just want to live long enough to see my children grown up and settled, or my first grandchild born etc. etc. Then when these events happen they think of new ones hoping to put off the thought that the end of their life is fast approaching. We fear the moment of death and try to prolong our life because we really do not have the absolute assurance that death is not this big black hulking hole waiting to swallow us up into nothingness, never to be seen again or participate in any more wondrous encounters. Is this why we fear death because we see it as the end of this existence that we are living? If that is true then where are all the souls from the beginning of eternity? The earth as we know it is over ten billion years old, what has happened to all the souls of the early man and the subsequent ancestors that followed? Are they all floating around on clouds just hanging out? I cannot believe that this is all there is to our existence on earth and in the heavenly realm. Surely God who created the universe and all that is in it has a master plan for his creation that doesn't include extinction after one lifetime. Our religions try to give us hope but if you listen to the message that is being proclaimed today it is that you die and your soul goes to heaven. But is that really what happens? From all that I have learned from my friends in astrology and from my daughter Annette, it is very different. Our consciousness lives on after our earthly bodies decay in the ground and our life continues as we prepare for our next journey to the earthly plain. Hearing about the possibility of people contacting loved ones on the other side didn't enter my realm of knowledge until the late 1990's.

Unfortunately today funerals have become big business, a really expensive sendoff, the great goodbye. We spend fortunes on caskets that go into the ground or into a mausoleum. We have beautiful urns that hold our ashes, and for what? If we truly believe there is nothing after death then why do we make death such a production by preserving the body through embalming, having a wake with an open casket where the deceased looks better dead than alive, the funeral, the cemetery, the stone, the flowers, etc. all costing thousands of dollars. If death is the end then why erect monuments as a remembrance? I understand that you need a place to go and remember your loved one, and that is the reason for headstones and flowers.

I have been told that the communion of saints is all the people who have gone before us in death and who wait for us to join them in this place called heaven. If this is true then heaven has to be filled to overflowing with all the souls of those who have died and gone there from the beginning of time, which according to what I have learned has been billions of years. But what or where is heaven? What does it mean to sit at the right hand of God? Who or what is God? If the practice of religion is man-made then what is faith? Have you ever asked yourself the question of why you need to believe the way you do?

A few years ago I was volunteering in the ICU unit at our local hospital, I felt privileged and humbled to be present with many people at the moment of their death. I was awed as they recognized and called out to their loved ones. They were seeing those who had come to help them cross over and were crying out as they were greeted by their loved ones and welcomed to the other side. My experiences during this time were that someone they knew and recognized was sent to help them cross over. No matter how ill or sick they were the soul who came to help them cross over was known to them, and they would speak as if this person was in the room, which they were. They often asked me "Do you see my Charlie, my George, or my Helen, or the light? " Sometimes I would ask them where these people were they are seeing, and they would respond, "Can't you see them, they are standing there with their arms outstretched to me"; at that point I would tell them it was okay to go to the light and be with them. It sounded as if they had been waiting for this person to appear to them, I knew in my heart that what they were seeing was certainly not a ghost or a figment of their imagination. It was someone they knew and loved who had come to show them that there was no need to fear letting go of this life and allowing their bodies to die. The look on their faces as they drew their last breathe was one of peace and beauty, no fear or apprehension showed. So if death is the end of our existence as some believe then who or what were these people seeing at this most sacred moment?

This hospital experience was one of many diverse and interesting moments, some very sad, some happy, and some that defy explanation. I was born and raised in the Church of England as an Episcopalian, worshiped as a young girl with the Salvation Army, was baptized and received into the Roman Catholic Church in 1969, became involved in the Charismatic Renewal, Marriage Encounter, and now I am back to being a practicing Episcopalian in the Anglican Church. An interesting life journey I would say.
Chapter Sixteen

The Broadway show and now Oscar winning movie, "Les Miserable" has a song in it that says a lot about regret and not taking things or people for granted, thinking they will be here forever. A line from that song goes like this, "To love another person is to see the face of God". That particular line from this song makes a profound statement and is so true. When you love another person unconditionally, it is then that you are able to see God's face and plan for your life for he has led you to the one person that is the yin to your yang, part of your soul family. When your other half dies and crosses over to the other side, each time you think about or sense your loved one around you, know that it is real, they are always with you. It is love that draws them near to you again and again, and love never ever dies, for God is love.

Annette's message to me was to tell everyone I could that we all need to cherish, uphold and validate those we love while we have them with us, because regret for words not spoken or deeds left undone, is an empty emotion that can eat you up. You are called to live your life with your loved ones in such a way that you will have no regrets when they cross over, for hopefully you have done all the things now that make you happy. It's always easy to say I tried to do that but the reality is very different. We try really hard to make our lives happy and fulfilling but it is hard work to keep in the forefront of your thoughts that this is something you need to make happen. We've all heard the statement that life is short, that time flies by too fast, especially the older you get. We don't have all the time in the world to get it right, so dance while you can and sing at the top of your lungs to the music that you alone can hear. So try not to have any regrets for things you meant to do but never got around to it.

Make the most of the time you have, don't take life to seriously that you miss out on the fun times and the good times. It isn't until we become aware that there is more to life and living than we thought, that we can truly begin to live the lifetime we have here and now. Annette tells me that when you live in the past it does you no good. She says you cannot go back and change what has already happened, so the best thing to do that will help you move forward, is to let it go. The same is true for living in the future worrying about what if's, what onlys, and oh my goodness what will happen if I don't do this or that, also does no good. It is only when we live in the present moment and appreciate all we have, good bad or indifferent, can we really believe and know that we have control over how we live our lives, and are the masters of our own fate. That's why the present is a present and the past is just that, the past, the future hasn't happened yet, so stop worrying yourself silly about the what if's and what onlys.

All you can count on is what you have right now, this present moment in time to live to the best of your ability, using all the gifts and talents you have been blessed with. How many times have you made the statement, I'll do that tomorrow, or I will make amends when I feel the time is right, someday in the future? When you live with the realization that there is no tomorrow promised to you and that the future is now, then living takes on a whole new meaning. Annette says that if you live your life trying to do no harm to others and being the best person you can be, then when you die you will have no regrets. For a little girl who was an old soul while here, she sure has a lot of wisdom.

Just as an aside, someone asked me at what age do I see Annette when she shares her messages with me. Is she still the ten year old child she was when she died, or is she a 49 year old adult? I had to stop and think about that for a minute because it never occurred to me that she would be anything other than the ten year old child she was when she died. I then answered in this way, for me Annette will always be that little ten year old girl who touched so many people while here on earth. I do not visualize her as a grown up nor do I believe they age on the other side especially as my understanding is that it is our consciousness that continues and our soul that goes on.

Just as Princess Diana will never age in the minds of those that loved her, beyond the age she was when she died, because there is no way you can imagine her any older. For me, Annette was frozen in time and will forever be that special little ten years old child, who showed me what faith and courage really was all about. Her wisdom certainly transcends her age, and I have no problem listening to her and learning from all the wisdom she has learned throughout her many lifetimes here.
Chapter Seventeen

Have you ever wondered when you hear someone saying that a particular person has an old soul, how the person knows that. I am sure it is an expression we have all heard at one time or another, yet have you asked yourself just what is an old soul. How does anyone know that? There are those people who have the gift of being able to tell you whether or not you are an older soul, usually it's someone who has special gifts like being an astrologer, or someone with psychic abilities. They have been here many times before and lived many previous lifetimes and have the gift of knowing. By looking into your eyes, which are the windows to the soul, they can tell whether you are a young or old spirit.

I'm sure you've also heard of past life regression, and how it helps people who are searching to know who and what they were in another time and place. The accounts of sessions that reputed physicians who are trained in hypnotism have held, give some pretty strong evidence for past lives. Unfortunately down through the ages the belief in reincarnation as a viable real happening got lost in the Christian culture and became forgotten and improbable in our modern day learning.

In the bible there are many accounts of death not being the end, such as in 1 Corinthians 15: 55, "O death where is thy sting, O grave where is they victory"? This one message speaks volumes to me, if there is no sting in death and no victory in the grave then why are we even debating the possibility that reincarnation doesn't happen? A sting hurts, so, if death has no sting then it follows that burying someone in the ground should no longer hold any emotional power over us. The physical body we have experienced during this lifetime is buried in the ground or put in a tomb, but has no victory over us, because our soul, which has inhabited many human bodies, will come back in another human body for another incarnation. So following this train of thought, the grave holds no victory and death holds no pain for us. I know that when someone we love dies we cry for them and mourn their passing, but if we truly believed what the bible tells us then we have victory over the grave because our loved ones will come back again.

When Jesus tells Nicodemus, who was a ruler of the Jews and a Pharisees, that he, "Must be born again in order to see the kingdom of God", (John 3:1-8), he is totally puzzled and misunderstands what Jesus is saying. Nicodemus asks him, "How can one be born again when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born again"? This is a leader of the Jews who came to see Jesus late at night because he didn't want anyone to know he was meeting with the Rabbi who was causing so much unrest. He was curious as to how one became a follower of Jesus and wanted to know how he could also become a follower. He didn't understand or comprehend what it was Jesus was saying to him.

There has been much debate on what exactly Jesus meant by this statement, "you must be born again of water and the spirit" all in the gospel of John. Many religions believe that this means baptism and confirmation, but what if it means something entirely different? I wonder if when he was talking to Nicodemus he meant that figuratively and not literally as we have been taught. Being born again is not only a truly spiritual experience but also a reincarnation experience in that you must be born again to "see" the kingdom of God. He doesn't say enter, but see, there is a difference and the difference is that through many reincarnations you are blessed to see the kingdom of God.

If you read the bible with the openness that reincarnation is a possibility then the bible gives one the impression that we must all be "born again" for another lifetime and go through the whole process of growing and learning what it is we came back to learn in this particular reincarnation. I am convinced that we do come back again and continue to do so until we have reached the perfection that we are called to by God and the spirit.

Many of us, who are searching for answers, eventually come to the realization that in the final analysis all our great learning and understanding is actually flowing from the ascended master, Jesus Himself. These include many Christians who have not learned to have a deep relationship and union with Jesus as an ascended master, but who have filled their lives with teachings about Jesus; much of which are filled with their own prejudices and their own theology about God/spirit. Scripture continually speaks about the fact that it is the desire of Jesus to bring us to the position of glory where He is, one in the Godhead of the Father (John 17:24).

How does this happen? In the beginning we start out as babes (young souls) in this world learning the basics of interacting with others, and also learning some pretty powerful life lessons with each incarnation. Jesus is the perfected light which we strive to be like, so we need to come back again and again until we have reached the place where we are one with God as he is one with Him, and join in the knowledge of the story, the journey, and the majesty of God/spirits plan for mankind.

Those statements sound almost impossible, but think about them in relationship to the bible. Isn't this what Jesus is talking about when he says,

"I pray that they would one day be one with the Father as I am one with him" (John 17:20-24). Jesus didn't equate oneness with God something that we could grasp or understand in the way that he did, but nonetheless he still makes the statement that he desires us to be one with the Father as he is.

So that is our ongoing life's journey, our goal, our life's lessons and commandments, to continue our evolution until we have reached the perfection of spirit that God calls us to and then we become one with the Father. We continue to reincarnate so as to learn all wisdom and knowledge which comes from God, so that we can become one with God, and make this statement a reality for each and every one of us.
Chapter Eighteen

The idea of reincarnation is probably not only a frightening thought for many people, but something totally alien to what most of us have been taught by the mainstream religions. It is especially hard to accept for those who have had a tough time in this lifetime, people who have suffered hardship and grief; they do not want to hear anything about coming back again. They are happy to think that when they die its over. These people who have suffered hardship want to believe what they have been taught, that if you live a good life when you die you go to heaven for eternity, where you do what, sit on a cloud and play a harp? They do not want to even entertain the idea or the possibility of coming back here again. During this lifetime all the hurt or sorrow they experienced was enough for them to deal with. In fact the very thought of someone suggesting they have to come back again and go through more unknown sadness and sorrow, fills them with resistance, fear, grief and agitation.

The religious beliefs and teachings of our time have pretty much tried to eliminate any mention of reincarnation as a possibility or even something that was part of life going way back when. If you read certain parts of the bible searching to establish that reincarnation is a possibility, you can find some pretty strong teachings that certainly seem to lean toward our returning here. Keeping an open and inquisitive mind is the key to learning more about reincarnation about our consciousness continuing along with our soul/spirit.

We should never allow our particular faith messages or life commandments that we have heard from the moment we were born, to cloud our thinking or slam the door shut to any mention of reincarnation. We need to open our minds and hearts to allow the possibility of learning new and exciting things about the nature of God and his/her plan for our creative lifetime.

Our lives are like a book with each new page showing us something different and new. We need to avidly read the book that is our journey in life, and add to the story it unfolds before us. I am sure you were taught at some time in your religious upbringing about the book of life that God reviews at our final judgment that is supposed to include everything we have ever done?

A long time ago I was told that my life is like a tapestry that is breathtakingly beautiful. The problem is I am looking at the wrong side where all the threads are knotted, tangled and hanging down, instead of looking at the right side and seeing the beauty that makes up that right side of the tapestry. Think of your life's journey as the fifth gospel currently being written now, one in which you are the author, editor, proof reader and publisher. You have the opportunity to write this gospel in the way you want to. This is your life.
Chapter Nineteen

The last book in the bible is the book of Revelation where you can read what John was told about coming back again, or, for those that have already completed their journeys here, and experienced all the lessons they needed to learn, they are in the presence of God for all eternity. (Revelation 7:9)

That's the meaning and purpose of reincarnation, to help us live each life so that our soul is led toward perfection so as to be worthy to stand in God's presence. It makes more sense when you are able to understand that when you die your soul continues on, along with your consciousness, to the next life, the next learning, the next karmic explosion. What we all would really like to know for sure is that after living here during this lifetime, or for however many lifetimes we live on this earth, there is a purpose to living each lifetime. It is important to broaden our horizons and know there is so much more to learn and experience. To know that when we die our death is just the gateway to the next lifetime where we will live and learn more of what it is we need to learn.

I truly do understand the reasons why when people hear this message of reincarnation they get themselves all upset and out of sorts. Maybe it's because no one likes to think that they will come back and have do this all over again, live another life like the one they are currently living. When they think this their thought process is with the total awareness of the life they are currently living. What they fail to fully understand is that their past life is just that, their past life. Before each soul returns to this earthly plain, you have the opportunity to choose your family as well as your siblings and what it is you need to experience in the next life, and make choices for their karmic healing.

This is where our soul family comes in, the people that we share these lifetimes with, who are with us always in some way, sometimes as a mother, father, brother, sister, uncle aunt, cousin, best friend etc. The negativity or blockage that is expressed comes from the current life we are living, especially if it has been hard and full of pain and heartache. I can understand someone saying, "Why on earth would I have chosen this life, and why would I want to come back again"? Once we can accept that we are sent here to learn karmic lessons that sometimes those lessons are very painful and heartbreaking, and sometimes joyful and full of light, then we can begin to understand it is what we chose for our current lifetime and what we choose to experience that helps wipe our karmic slate clean.

Annette is the one person that I look to and believe when she tells me about our many journeys and experiences, and why they are so important for our immortal soul. One of her many messages to me was about the belief that we had to have all our "ducks in a row" to be able to be worthy of going to heaven. She chuckled as she explained that all we have to do is complete this lifetime that we were sent to experience, and then get ready for the next one in whatever time we know we are ready. There is no good or bad because all that we have done or said was all planned ahead of time and was a part of our life script or commandments for this lifetime. We place the words of condemnation or commendation on the actions that make up our lifetime. True, some of the things that are done are out and out wrong in the eyes of the law that govern this place where we live, which is why so much more attention is given to those actions we classify as bad or wrong. But there are just as many, if not more, good things done that you never hear about. Have you ever heard any good news headline on our nightly news programs, or seen headlines in the newspapers about something good that someone did?

Annette says that we are all held accountable for our actions and have to review our life and see how our actions affected others for the good or the bad. All is chosen, written in the book of life. We come back to wipe the slate clean and to begin anew our journey to perfection carrying with us the lessons we learned in our previous life. This message makes many feel uncomfortable and fills them with denial, so that they will vehemently deny every mention of reincarnation or the reality of what it is psychics and mediums are able to do. Even astrologers get lumped into that package. As Jesus stated in the bible "I have come to set fire to the earth and oh how I wish it was burning" (Luke 12:49), I believe my words are meant to do the same thing, rattle people's cages and get them thinking about the possibility that just maybe all that I am saying is true.
Chapter Twenty

Here are some passages I learned when I studied scripture that could possibly speak about reincarnation. I should probably research the bible more and not trust my memory to discern what is really meant but I do not want this to be a scholarly thesis, or something that I read in scripture and theology class, but my own story of my journey to enlightenment.

First and foremost Jesus states to his followers that after his death he would rise again on the third day. We all know he died on the cross and was placed in the tomb after being wrapped in strips of linen filled with myrrh and aloes by Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus, but then what happens? In John 22:38-42, the women, Mary Magdalene, Mary mother of James and Salome who were his followers, went to the tomb the first day of the week, where his body had been placed. They bought spices so they could anoint his body which was in accordance with their Jewish faith. This could not be done when he died because it was the day of Preparation the day before Sabbath, so Jesus had to be placed in the tomb before sundown. This was part of their Jewish faith and custom that when someone died their body was anointed with special oils, but because Jesus died so close to sundown Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate to have his body taken down from the cross so they could place it in the tomb that Joseph of Arimathea, a leader in the Sanhedrin, and a secret follower of Jesus, had given them. The women rushed to the tomb at first light to perform this ritual, when they got there they found an empty tomb, can you imagine what they must have thought? Maybe they thought that someone had stolen his body, or it had been moved somewhere else for safe keeping.

We've all seen movies and read stories about what happened in that tomb on that night. Jesus is resurrected, changed and reincarnated so that when Mary Magdalene sees him in the garden the day after they laid him in the tomb, she thinks he is the local gardener. It is only when he speaks to her that she recognizes who he is, prior to that she did not recognize him in his reincarnated body (Mark 16:1-8). Then there are the many eye witness accounts in the bible of Jesus showing himself to his apostles, there stories of seeing him after his death but yet not knowing who he was until he broke bread with them.

One story that touches people and helps them to understand the belief in reincarnation is the one in which Jesus appears on the shore where the disciples are fishing in their boat. They see him in the distance on the shore, sitting by a fire cooking fish, yet they also do not recognize who he is until he tells them. They still have a hard time believing what he is saying and think he is a ghost until he eats some food with them. It is only then that they recognize him as Jesus.

In his response when asked if he was Elijah returned Jesus states "No, he was not", and says that Elijah had already returned but no one recognized him. Returned? What on earth was he referring to? Then there is the raising of Jairus' daughter from the dead, according to the bible, it states the child's parents told Jesus she was dead. He goes into her room and speaks words of life to her and lo and behold we have resurrection and reincarnation.

What about Lazarus? This is one of the most famous resurrection stories, one in which the power of reincarnation is made evident. When Jesus called for Lazarus to "come forth" from the tomb he had died and been lying in the tomb for four days already. In fact Martha was really concerned when Jesus asked for the stone to be rolled away because she was afraid of the smell of rotting flesh that would come from the tomb. Instead of the stench of rotting flesh, what they got was an amazing resurrection story that turned into a reincarnation story as Lazarus returned from the dead a very different man who lived many more years to serve the people of his time.

Jesus also told his followers repeatedly that he would return again, he also stated that where he was his followers also would be. Again and again he states he will come back and gather his own to himself, that he and the Father are one and wishes that his followers would also become one with the Father as he is. What a challenge, expecting us to be one with the father as he is? Is that possible?

The oneness with the Father that Jesus talks about doesn't just happen in one lifetime. It takes many incarnations for us to become the person that God intends for us to be, one with the Father. This is our goal, our drive, our purpose, our soul journey. This holds true for all of our brothers and sisters in many different faiths and cultures, God is the creator of all mankind, so when the bible talks about being one with the Father it means all of creation not just a select few. There is no exclusivity with God. Man is the one who has created the separation by inferring that this or that religion is better than all the others, or that this or that race is superior to others. If we are all created in the image and likeness of God/Spirit then aren't we all also able to say with confidence that we have the same Father whose desire is for us to be one with him/her?

I use the term him/her because I believe that God is spirit, so is neither male nor female, has no gender, yet we insist on calling God by the male gender, him. The term Father means someone who cares for and nurtures their creation, i.e. their children, yet children cannot be created without the mother as well so consequently doesn't it follow that God the creator must be both mother and father to his creation. Just as a father is the provider for his family, the mother is the nurturer, the one who teaches her children about empathy and compassion. They both teach their children about love and what it means to be loved, and give them the perfect role models of parents. For God/spirit to have both these qualities which he shares with his children it goes without saying that we also must have both male and female qualities if we are indeed made in the image and likeness of the creator.
Chapter Twenty One

Luke 23:24. "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do". These are the words Jesus spoke from the cross before he died, as recorded in the bible. When you hear these words the thought that comes to mind is that Jesus is asking forgiveness for those who have crucified him, and in some ways that would be a correct assumption. But could there possibly be something more being said by Jesus, especially if you look at it in the light of reincarnation. Father, forgive them for they know not what they do, has been one of those statements made by Jesus that show us a better way to live, forgive those who persecute you. How many of us could hang from a cross for at least three to four hours, with nails that had been pounded into your wrists and feet and have the presence of mind to ask God to forgive those who had crucified us? I have the distinct impression after reading many different bibles and studying what spiritual leaders have said what they think it means, I am inclined to believe that when Jesus said those words he was leaving an almost coded message for his followers, asking them to not only remember what he said from the cross but to also take the words to heart and know what great plans the universe had for him.

Jesus knew he would be coming back again, but he also knew there were many who would try to deny that fact and make out that what he said about returning was all fiction. When he said to the apostles in the upper room that he would die and on the third day rise again, he was giving them words to live by. A lot of people claim that he meant that he would die on the cross and ascend into heaven on the third day after his death. Instead what he actually meant was that he would return and give them positive proof that he had resurrected. Going one step further, when you look at what he said to the thief who was being crucified next to him the statement that he would return makes more sense. The thief asked Jesus to remember him when he came into his kingdom; he wanted to know that he would not perish but go to the heaven that Jesus preached about. Jesus' response to him doesn't make any sense if as he said he was coming back in three days, his answer to the thief was, "Truly I say to you, today you shall be with me in Paradise." If Jesus was coming back why would he say to the thief that he would be with him that day in Paradise? Let's go back and change the punctuation and see what it says then". Truly I say to you today, you shall be with me in Paradise." Can you see how that statement changes when you just move a comma one word over?

Jesus appeared to his disciples and followers many times after his death. One of the first times was to Mary Magdalene who after seeing his empty tomb asked the person she thought was the gardener if he knew where they had taken the body of Jesus. She didn't recognize him after his resurrection, and thought he was the gardener until he spoke to her. The disciples who all deserted him during his trial and went back to their jobs as fishermen, did not recognize him as he sat on the banks of the river cooking fish. They also didn't recognize him until he broke bread with them. On the road to Emmaus the two disciples who were walking along the road did not recognize him when he appeared to them until he sat and broke bread with him. When Jesus appeared in the upper room to the others, Thomas was not there, so when they told him what had happened he stated he would not believe unless he could put his fingers in his wounds. Guess what? Jesus did just that, he came back to that upper room when Thomas was present and told him to place his fingers in his side so that he may believe that Jesus had come back again just like he said he would. This is where the term doubting Thomas comes from.

I like to think Jesus has been back in many different ways and times, if you look throughout history you can name the people who were trying to make a difference as he did. These people made a difference by their works and actions, to name a few, Florence Nightingale, Ann Frank, Mother Therese, Martin Luther King, Princess Diana, Oskar Schindler, Winston Churchill, Nelson Mandela, and Mahatma Gandhi. Of course these are all the more famous ones that are easy for us to remember but there are many others throughout history who quietly went about trying to change their world. Those who go to the food kitchens and serve the hungry and homeless who choose to remain anonymous; these are also living the message of Jesus.

Jesus knew that his followers believed in reincarnation, as did the people who followed him, and were trying to live his message. Everything he did he knew was for a higher purpose and goal, even his crucifixion was something he knew was going to happen. He even knew who was going to betray him and he also knew the Jewish Sanhedrin were afraid of him and his teaching and wanted to get rid of him, which is why he told his disciples and followers in the upper room that the son of man would die and be raised again on the third day and then would be seated at the right hand of God.

Of course they didn't understand what he meant and were puzzled at his statement, but he knew there was nothing he could do to change the course of events that had been set in motion. He knew he was going to return again, in fact he mentions it numerous times throughout the gospels, but I don't believe his followers understood what he was talking about. They didn't want him to die because that would mean they would be without his charismatic leadership, so in the garden of Gethsemane they tried to stop the roman soldiers from arresting him. They couldn't, so while Jesus was being interrogated by the Pharisees, they ran away and hid. They had participated in something they had no desire to be involved with, the arrest of Jesus by the roman soldiers and the subsequent mock trial and phony charges all done in an attempt to make it seem that what they were doing was right. Father forgive them for they know not what they do, they were killing the son of man and attempting to squash any following, yet had no idea the wheels they were setting in motion.
Chapter Twenty Two

In the bible, both Old and New Testaments, there are many names given for God, and each of these names describes an attribute to a God that calls us back from the dead and fills us with new life. Like Lazarus, our earthly bodies die and return to the dust as our spirits are called forth to have new life poured into us so that we can live again to do and be whatever it is we are called to be in our next life. The apostles had to know the power of the times, that reincarnation was one of the teachings of the Jews in the time of Jesus.

If you study the teachings of the Gnostics and Levites during the time of Jesus you will read that they believed in the fact that death was not the end of our existence. They professed a belief in life after death and reincarnation. The Jewish people in the time of Jesus did not fear death and dying like we do today. They knew they would be coming back again and so made death a thing to be accepted as the next step in their journey. Death did not hold the same depth of grief and sorrow that we exhibit today because they knew and believed that they would be coming back again. Oh they certainly went through the grieving process but didn't prolong it because they knew their loved one would be coming back in another lifetime. Jesus was raised in the Jewish faith and tradition, so would have been immersed in all the teachings of his faith and culture. He told everyone who listened to him that the kingdom of God was within each one of us and attainable to everyone, not just a select few.

Again I go back to the things Annette told me in her messages about all the signs we miss because we are so busy looking for the big ones, we miss the all-important smaller signs which are just as powerful and full of love. Is it possible we are being shown these things and told these stories to make us more aware of spirit and what really happens to our physical body and soul after we die? The bible states from dust you came and to dust you shall return (Genesis 3:19). This clearly says that our bodies are put in the ground or cremated and we return to dust, but what of our soul and spirit just where do they go? My belief is that they live on and are part of God's great recycling plan for mankind.

Why are the same stories told over and over again in our churches and houses of worship? Is it because we haven't really heard them and need to hear them until we understand the true message of salvation and life after death.

I recently attended a seminar with the grandson of Edgar Cayce and he was speaking about reincarnation. This is where what Annette had told me about people ending their times here and this is their final incarnation; they have finished their learning and lessons and move on to become guides and teachers for others.

There are many accounts that have been documented of young children remembering previous lifetimes they had lived. They were able to name their other family members and can accurately recall their own death and how they died. These are documented cases by accredited scientists who have done studies on past lives to teach us that we need to expand our consciousness and widen our views to include things we may not fully understand but never the less are real and happening today.
Chapter Twenty Three

One of the questions I mentioned in my last book was whether or not Annette would be reincarnating again. She answered that question for me in her recent messages to Maggie. She mentioned a few times that she will meet me again in Paradise. When Maggie first shared these messages with me my thought was that this was Annette's way of telling me I was going to die sometime soon, and was reassuring me that we would be together in Paradise. Thinking with my human mind I thought this was a rather strange statement for a ten year old to be making to her mother, don't you think? Even though she has been on the other side for over thirty eight years in our time, I knew it was the blink of an eye for her. What was she trying to tell me?

After I read this message from Maggie I immediately sent an email back to her and questioned her, asking if she thought Annette was telling me in a roundabout way that my time was limited, and that we would soon be together in this place she calls Paradise. She replied that she didn't think that was what she was saying at all. She believed that Annette was assuring me that at the end of my life here, we would be together again in this beautiful place she referred to as Paradise. I'm still trying to digest that one and come to terms with the message.

If you have never before heard about people who can connect with others who have crossed over you may wonder about the validity of this whole process. Let me assure you it happens, and has been a consistent happening in my own life for the past seven years, and it is all true. As I thought more about the messages Annette gave to Maggie regarding Paradise it all of a sudden dawned on me what she was really trying to say to me. Now, after researching and writing the above I believe that what she was really telling me was that she has finished her life's journey and is now in Paradise, where we will meet again. She tells me she is in the presence of the divine majesty which is God/spirit, and all is love and light. It was then that I once again remembered what it was that she had asked to have put on her headstone, "God is Love". She describes it as being wrapped in the softest and finest lamb's wool and being made to feel as if you were a priceless piece of pottery that might break if not handled with the utmost love and tenderness. She shared that the gentleness and softness of the hands holding her made her want to snuggle into and rest in what were the most loving hands imaginable. This statement brought to mind another statement from scripture where God tells us he is the potter and we are the clay.

I asked her if she could tell me what she experienced when she crossed over and how she felt, if she even had any feelings. She told me she heard what I said to her about it being alright to let go and that we would be all right and would never forget her. It was at that moment that she knew she had to leave and go toward the light that was opening up above her in the ceiling of her hospital room; she said she wasn't afraid about leaving her earthly body and moving on. She only felt a momentary sadness about leaving us, her family, behind. Annette said that there is this sense of knowing that you will meet up again with those you loved while here in the earthly plane, so it was only a fleeting sense of sorrow that she felt because she knew without a shadow of doubt that we would all meet again.

She says she was drawn down this long gossamer tunnel that was not solid but very light and flimsy, delicate and gauzy looking. She described it as being like the big white puffy clouds that are in the sky, on a clear crystal blue day. The tunnel had these sparkling doors running down both sides, and she knew without being told that each door represented one of her past lives. The interesting thing she mentioned is that each door was a different color, like the spectrum of the rainbow. She said she knew that if she wanted to she could have opened any one of the doors and looked at a past incarnation she had lived through, but said she had no desire to do that. Being curious, I asked her if she knew how many doors there were and she said no, she didn't know, and went on to say it wasn't important for her to know that.

Even though she knew she could have stopped and opened any one of the doors, she did not feel the need or urge to do that. She went on to say that she just wanted to get to the bright white light that she felt she was being drawn towards at the end of the tunnel. Annette said that she was met by an angelic form who drew her in and surrounded her with a tremendous sense of being in the presence of pure love, she said in that moment she knew she was loved and surrounded by pure unadulterated love unlike anything she had known while here on earth. Behind this angelic being were people that she knew to be members of her soul family and she goes on to say she immediately recognized my mother and grandmother, the two Aunty Flo's. She said she was so happy that she was able to recognize her family, as she allowed herself to be drawn even deeper into this place of serenity and comfort.

She had met my mother when she was just a baby, but unfortunately never got to meet her great grandmother while here in this lifetime. Her awareness of what was happening around her, and to her, was heightened to almost gigantic proportions as she was able to see and hear what was almost, she says, too much to take in. As she was describing it to me, I felt so privileged and honored to be the recipient of this information, and to be able to imagine through her descriptions, where she was. I have to admit to being a bit flabbergasted by all that she was sharing with me. It was almost as if she was describing it all from previous knowledge otherwise how on earth could she relate all this information to me as if it was something very familiar to her?

Annette went on to say that Paradise isn't this quiet ethereal place with soft music playing in the background like when you wait in the doctor's office or ride in an elevator. It's a busy place, somewhat like a mall, filled with all kinds of wonderful things and people that you know and love from previous lifetimes. She describes it as the most beautiful place you could ever imagine, which is why she said, when people have a near death experience or an out of body experience, they are not afraid of death anymore. They have been given a glimpse of where they are going and all fear of death and dying leave them. In fact in interviews with people who have had these experiences they state they didn't want to come back into their bodies.
Chapter Twenty Four

Annette went on to share how the feeling of being in the presence of such love and welcoming was totally overwhelmingly cool. This was a term she had used when she was alive in referring to something that awed and amazed her, and it was a typical response from a ten year old in the mid-seventies. In fact many times when she wanted to get across how amazing something was she would use the expression," That's really cool".

She asked me to imagine a place that I loved to go to like the beach, feel the sand beneath my feet, smell the ocean air, feel the warmth of the sun on my face, and hear the seagulls wheeling about in the air above. Or, see yourself gazing at snowcapped mountain ranges in all their majesty, knowing that these snowcapped mountains had been created by God for our pleasure. Picture yourself lying in a meadow that is filled with blooms of every flower imaginable for as far as the eye can see, then smell the scent of all those flowers mingling together. It is a smell unlike any perfume you have ever smelt before. You also hear the lazy humming of bees buzzing around pollinating the flowers and you can also hear the gurgle and ripple of water as it splashes and runs over rocks in a nearby stream. Or, imagine watching the unleashed power of water as it cascades down the side of a steep mountain and then seeing the clearest most beautiful rainbow arching over the top of the waterfall, the colors being so bright they take your breath away.

See yourself sitting and staring at the most beautiful painting you have ever seen, with colors you have never seen look so vivid that it takes your eyes awhile to adjust to their brilliance. Or again, imagine you are floating about in the universe with all the stars and planets spinning around you, the awesomeness and majesty of this creation make you light headed. Annette said to picture that special place in my mind then, increase its beauty a trillion fold, with colors so pristine and crystal clear that it is truly breathtaking.

Annette then said to me, "Mommy, if you can just imagine the tiniest part of what I have tried to share with you, and then you would have just a miniscule amount of understanding where I am, surrounded by God's love and grace, in this wonderful place which we call Paradise.

I knew in that moment, with more certainty than I have ever known that Annette's consciousness, her essence most definitely lives on, she is in a mystical place surrounded with and by others who bathe her in love and fill her with a sense of belonging and show her she is cared for. She is with her soul family and would stay connected to them throughout any future reincarnations that they might have to live through. Her work here on the earthly plane was finished, she was not coming back.

All those years ago when she crossed over she left us this message "God is Love" which she asked to have put on her headstone along with the dove with the olive branch in its mouth. Even though she was only ten years of age she obviously knew she was dying and wanted us to know she knew where she was going, to a God who is love! It's amazing that she was able to leave this message for us in a drawing she wanted us to put on her headstone. What else did she know at this time?

What I now understood from all of this was that this is most likely my last reincarnation, and so the content of Annette's messages became clearer when she told me that I was going to be with her in Paradise for all eternity. Now that is truly something to look forward to.
Chapter Twenty Five

The first time I went to a psychic was something that happened more out of curiosity than anything else. I had been watching John Edwards on TV and though wow I would love to have someone do that for me, I was interested and curious. At the time I was volunteering at our local hospital and met this woman named Pat who mentioned she had a friend who was a psychic. I was immediately interested and asked if she could get me her phone number. When I called this woman and asked her for an appointment I did not know what to expect or what would happen. At first she told me she was fully booked for the next few days but while I was on the phone with her she received a message from a client canceling her morning appointment for the next Wednesday. I didn't go expecting to hear from any of my family members, but as my reading progressed I could not deny that the woman I went to was gifted, and in tune with something I had no way of knowing at that time. Was this one of those coincidences in life I had heard people talk about? I don't think so! The universe was setting the wheels in motion for me to be exposed to something that I had previously made fun of and ridiculed.

Something she told me during that meeting has stayed with me till now was about my older sister, June, who died a few years before, and I really missed her. She told me that my sister was always around me (which I thought was pretty generic) and that every time I saw white daisies it was her way of letting me know she was around. That's nice, I remember thinking, but this was the week of thanksgiving and it was bitter cold and way past the season for daisies or so I thought. I would have to wait till the summer time to see white daisies again.

After I arrived back home and was trying to digest all that she had said to me the doorbell rang and there was the florist with a delivery of a cornucopia with beautiful fall flowers in it and on the top were three white daisies. There was no card with the flowers and to this day I do not know who sent those flowers. At that moment I knew without a shadow of doubt that this was my sister June's way of showing me that she was definitely around. It was then that I seriously began to consider the possibility of this medium stuff being true, that certain people were able to connect to the other side. This lady also told me that every time I saw a red cardinal that it was one of my mother's ways of letting me know she was around.

At the time that I had this reading done, I was working in a church as a secretary. That Christmas one of the ladies in the church gave me this beautiful brooch with red cardinals on it, another coincidence? I don't think so, I never shared with anyone that I had a reading with a psychic, so there was no way she knew about the meaning of the red cardinal. After my reading with this lady I began to see more red cardinals than I have ever seen in my life. Or maybe I was just more aware of them now because they held a special meaning for me?

I was very cautious about who I told that I had gone to a psychic for a reading, I just knew that some of my friends would not understand and would be very negative about this whole experience of mine. It was the same way when I went for a past life reading on one of our trips to Sedona. I didn't tell anyone that I had done that either because I sensed they would not understand. These events turned out to be more than just a past life reading and a psychic reading; they actually were the beginning of a life changing force, a shift that has changed my life forever. As I began to find out more about what these gifts were, my own gifts were being stirred up and the smoldering fire within me was being nurtured into a flame. This was what started me on the road to finding out more about this gift of medium ship and the people who were blessed with sharing this gift with others. I wanted to know how it worked, and under what circumstances it was meant to be shared, and why people were so against it. I still wasn't comfortable with the awareness of having this gift myself; in fact I shied away when people would mention that I might be gifted in this way.
Chapter Twenty Six

Another interesting story that is in the bible is where Jesus asks his disciples this most important question, "Who do you say that I am?" It is not Peter's amazing confession that is so important here but rather the question that is asked and the way it is answered. The question is framed in such a way that the answer the disciples gave indicated an underlying belief in reincarnation. Is it not a reasonable assumption to believe that most, if not all of Jesus' disciples knew who his mother and father were, that he was the son of Mary, wife and widow of Joseph the carpenter. This well-known fact was not one of the answers given by any of his disciples in response to Jesus' question. Surely it could not have been that they were all ignorant of his parentage, but rather that such an answer would have been inappropriate. They knew that Christ's question was a spiritual one. The disciples understood this, and it was this understanding that led to Peter's great confession (Luke 9:18-20). They knew that Jesus was not asking who people thought he was in an earthly sense but in a spiritual sense. The ordinary people thought Jesus was Elijah, Jeremiah or one of the great prophets returned, a thought that could come only from their belief in reincarnation and their recollection of old prophecies. Jesus was and is a part of God and could not therefore be the reincarnation of any prophet.

Another important message for us is the knowledge of how widespread belief in reincarnation was at the time of Jesus. He did not need to tell people to believe in reincarnation, because they already did. So, if the idea was not a valid one, Jesus had many opportunities to tell the disciples that it wasn't true. A further indication of just how widespread the belief in reincarnation was made evident in the widespread expectation that Elijah would reincarnate and the speculations of Herod and the people around him when he first heard about the miracles of Jesus. Herod was said to be troubled, and according to the Gospel of Mark, even thought that John the Baptist had resurrected from the dead, "And he (King Herod), said that John the Baptist was risen from the dead, and therefore mighty works do show forth themselves in him. Others said that it is Elijah. And others said that it is a prophet, or as one of the prophets". But when Herod heard this, he said, "It is John whom I beheaded; he is risen from the dead" Mark 6:14-16 (KJV).

Luke 9:7-9 similarly reports that people thought that Jesus was John the Baptist resurrected, or a reincarnation of Elijah or one of the old prophets. Finally, another Bible passage that strongly suggests reincarnation is found in the message to the Church at Philadelphia: Him that overcomes will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out... (Revelation 3:12). The statement, "he shall go no more out," suggests that the norm, that is the usual expectation, is to go out repeatedly. Go out where? This repeated going out stops only for those who have overcome, have conquered all sins, have passed the Last Judgment, and have gained full spiritual maturity.

In other words, a most reasonable interpretation of this Revelation passage is in the cycle of reincarnations, which ends only with the complete maturity of the spirit. Once a spirit has attained to such maturity, he is allotted a place in Paradise and remains there forever. His reincarnations on earth come to an end. He has become one of those who "have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb" (Revelation14:7).

This only deals with one aspect of our bible stories, but when you read it and think about what it says it does make sense to believe that not only Jesus, but those he was preaching to understood and believed in reincarnation. In other words, an understanding of this Revelation passage is in the cycle of reincarnation, which ends only with the complete maturity of the spirit.

The name of Elijah comes up again in the accounts of the Transfiguration given by Matthew 17:1-13 and Mark 9:1-13. Jesus had gone up to a high mountain in the company of three disciples - Peter, James, and John. While there, the disciples witnessed a deeply moving spiritual spectacle that has come to be known as the Transfiguration. The countenance of Jesus changed. "And His garments became glistening, intensely white and there appeared to them Elijah with Moses, and they were talking to Jesus", (Mark 9:3-5). A cloud overshadowed them and a voice out of the cloud declared: 'This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him" (Matthew 17:5).

For the disciples, the event was further confirmation that their Master was indeed the Son of God. But they also remembered the teaching of the Scribes (presumably based on the prophecy recorded in Malachi 4:5) that Elijah must come before the Messiah. Hence, they sought clarification from Jesus. They asked "Why do the scribes say that first Elijah must come?" In answer, Jesus is reported to have said: But I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not know him, but did to him whatever they pleased (Matthew 17:12). But I tell you that Elijah has come, and they did to him whatever they pleased, as it is written of him (Mark 9:13).

The two statements are mainly the same. They show Jesus as confirming the truth of the prophecy that Elijah would reincarnate, and stating that Elijah had, in fact, already reincarnated. But Jesus does not reveal the identity of the reincarnated Elijah. Matthew goes on to add a statement that is not in Mark, "Then the disciples understood that he was speaking to them of John the Baptist" (Matthew 17:13). This is a repetition of the view of the author of this Gospel that John the Baptist was the reincarnation of Elijah (Matthew 11:14-15). Matthew gives the impression here that this view was also held by the three disciples \- Peter, James, and John - who were in the company of Jesus on the occasion of the Transfiguration.
Chapter Twenty Seven

Another important message for us is the knowledge of how widespread belief in reincarnation was at the time of Jesus. He did not need to tell people to accept the belief in reincarnation, because they already did, and if the idea was not a valid one Jesus had many opportunities to tell the disciples that fact. A further indication of just how widespread was the belief in reincarnation and the expectation that Elijah would reincarnate were the speculations of Herod and the people around him when he first heard about the miracles of Jesus. Herod was said to be troubled, and according to Mark, even thought that John the Baptist had resurrected from the dead:

Now King Herod heard of Him, meaning Jesus, for his name had become well known. And he said, "John the Baptist is risen from the dead, and therefore these powers are at work in him." Others said, "It is Elijah." And others said, "It is the Prophet, or like one of the prophets." But when Herod heard, he said, "This is John, whom I beheaded; he has been raised from the dead!" (Mark 6:14-16).

Luke 9:7-9, similarly reports that people thought that Jesus was John the Baptist resurrected, or a reincarnation of Elijah, or one of the old prophets. Finally, another Bible passage that strongly suggests reincarnation is found in the message to the Church at Philadelphia: Him that overcomes will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out. In the book of Revelation 3:12, the statement, "he shall go no more out," suggests that the norm, that is the usual expectation, is to go out repeatedly. This repeated going out stops only for those who have overcome, have conquered all sins, have passed the Last Judgment, and have gained full spiritual maturity. In other words, a most reasonable interpretation of this Revelation passage is in the sense of the cycle of reincarnations, which ends only with the complete maturity of the spirit. Once a spirit has attained to such maturity, he is allotted a place in Paradise and remains there for eternity. His reincarnations on earth have come to an end, he has become one of those who "have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb" (Revelation 7:14).

This only deals with one aspect of our bible stories, but when you read it and think about what it says it does make sense to believe that not only Jesus but those he was preaching to understood and believed in reincarnation.
Chapter Twenty Eight

Both Matthew 11:1-15 and Luke 7:19-28 report what John the Baptist heard, while in prison, about the activities of Jesus. He sent two of his own disciples to go and find out if Jesus was indeed the one "who is to come, or shall we look for another?" (Matthew 11:3, Luke 7:20). Many Christians would probably have wondered about this errand. Why would John the Baptist send people to find out for him who Jesus was? John had baptized Jesus at the River Jordan before Jesus started on His Mission. Matthew's account of that occasion suggests that John the Baptist recognized Jesus, that he knew who Jesus was, as the following passage indicates:

Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to John, to be baptized by him. John would have prevented him, saying, "I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?" But Jesus answered him, "Let it be so now; for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness". Then he consented, Matthew 3:13-15.

Mark's account of the baptism of Jesus contains nothing to indicate whether or not John the Baptist recognized Jesus, Mark 1:9-12. Was Matthew in error in reporting that John the Baptist knew exactly who Jesus was at the time he baptized Him? If John the Baptist recognized Jesus at the time of the baptism, what follow-up actions did he take? Had he forgotten about the event by the time he sent his followers, or had his faith wavered in prison? Obviously his faith could not waver; for his courage and the strength of his conviction were said to have been unmovable. We also have it on Christ's authority that he was much more than a prophet and that "among them that are born of women, there hath not risen a greater man than John the Baptist."

What is of great relevance to reincarnation is a statement provided by Matthew in the account of this incident: "And if you are willing to accept it, he is Elijah who is to come. He that has ears to hear let him hear". Matthew eleven verses fourteen through fifteen.

"And if you are willing to understand what I mean, he is Elijah, the one the prophets said would come. And if ever you were willing to listen, listen now"! (Matthew 11:14-15, found in the Living New Testament.)

Here in clear language, the writer of Matthew says that John the Baptist is the reincarnation of Elijah. The Jewish people were expecting Elijah to reincarnate "before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord." It is clear from his Gospel that Matthew firmly believed that the time of Jesus Christ was the "great and terrible day of the Lord." For this reason he could state, without any hesitation, that John the Baptist was the reincarnation of Elijah. By this statement, the author of the Gospel of Matthew makes the point that Elijah has already come. But there is considerable doubt about this. St. Luke's account of the same visit of the disciples of John the Baptist to Jesus is the same as that of Matthew with one important exception, Luke completely omits the statement that John the Baptist was Elijah.

A statement that appears similar to Matthew's is found in St. Luke's account of the foretelling of the birth of John the Baptist. The Angel Gabriel appeared to Zechariah to tell him that his wife, Elizabeth, would bear a child who would be named John. The Angel described the activity of John the Baptist in the following terms:

And he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord (Luke 1:17).

One must admit that it is not exactly clear how the phrase "in the spirit and power of Elijah" should be interpreted. The popular edition of The Jerusalem Bible translates the same expression as "with the spirit and power of Elijah", which is not any clearer. The phrase could be interpreted to mean that the spirit of Elijah and the spirit of John the Baptist would be one and the same. This would agree with Matthew's view that John the Baptist was a reincarnation of Elijah. Reincarnation is a fact; second, Elijah reincarnated as John the Baptist. The first point confirms the fact that belief in reincarnation was widespread at the time of Jesus and was accepted by His followers. Some Christian sects today believe, on the strength of this passage in Matthew, that John the Baptist was indeed a reincarnation of Elijah.

But the same phrase could also be interpreted differently to indicate simply that John the Baptist would carry out his mission in a manner closely similar to that of the Prophet Elijah. An argument in favor of this latter interpretation is found in John one verse twenty one. On one occasion, priests and Levites were sent from Jerusalem to ask John the Baptist who he was. He told them that he was not the Christ. And they asked him, "What then? Are you Elijah"? He said, "I am not" (John 1:21). He also said he was not the prophet that God promised in Deuteronomy eighteen verse fifteen, to raise among the Levites. He said he was the one of whom Isaiah said: "The voice of one crying in the wilderness, make straight the way of the Lord." It would, therefore, appear that while Matthew was right in his underlying belief in reincarnation, his specific claim that John the Baptist was the reincarnation of Elijah was not correct.

This does not in any way weaken the case for reincarnation. One can be correct on a general point and yet be wrong on a specific point. The error on the specific does not imply an error in the general. Let me illustrate. A man on a flight from Canada to the United States of America lands at an international airport in New York. He has always heard about John F. Kennedy Airport and so he writes on a postcard to be mailed to a friend back home stating that his plane was about to land in the New York area at John F Kennedy Airport. As he deplanes he notices that he is, in fact, at La Guardia Airport. It just happens that flights from Canada to the New York metropolitan area have a choice of airports. The gentleman is wrong about the airport but this does not affect the correctness of his statement that he had arrived in the New York area.

Let us again note that the priests and Levites specifically asked John the Baptist if he was Elijah. The question again implies that the priests and Levites believed in reincarnation. Otherwise, they would not think that John the Baptist might be Elijah, and it was not necessary for them to ask if John the Baptist was working in a manner similar to Elijah; they themselves could tell whether or not this was the case. In other words, the priests and Levites interpreted the phrase "in the spirit and power of Elijah" in the sense of reincarnation.

The response of Jesus can however, be interpreted as a confirmation that Elijah had reincarnated; but we are not told the identity of his reincarnation. A question that Jesus posed to his disciples led to what has become known as Peter's Great Confession, and is recorded in all the synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark, and Luke). Jesus and His disciples were in Caesarea Philippi when He asked them: "Who do men say that I am?" (Mark 8:27). And they told him, John the Baptist, and others say Elijah; and others, one of the prophets (Mark 8:28). He then repeats the question in a different way, "But, who do you say that I am"? It is Peter's response to this question, "You are the Christ" that is called the great confession (Mark 8:29).
Chapter Twenty Nine

I have read many diverse and interesting people in the past few months and one of the biggest revelations for me has been that some of their loved ones didn't wait till I dealt the first card before they stepped forward and made their presence known. This is just more evidence to me that our loved ones who have crossed over are not dead and gone, but patiently wait until we are ready to hear from them again. In order for this to happen the clients have to try and put aside all their preconceived ideas, because what is happening challenges all they hold to as their truth. As they open up to the awareness that death is not the end, I can see the change in their demeanor as they begin to realize that what is taking place is true. I respect and admire my clients so much for being open enough to be challenged and made aware that what is waiting for them on the other side is not something scary or weird, but the natural and normal progression of life.

It took thirty-two years for Annette to not only find someone that she could trust to send her messages, but to know that I was ready to be receptive to her messages. When all was in order she began sending her messages and when she did, the genie came out of the bottle and there was no way was she going back in there again. She was out and her mission or goal was to pass on her message of hope and peace to as many people as she could. Her desire was to let people know through her story that death is not the end of our journey, but the beginning. There is so much more ahead for us and it's not the stories we have been told all our lives by our religious institutions, but the stories we are hearing from those that have been there and come back to tell us. "Heaven is for Real". If you see the movie do you believe the messages of this young boy as he tells his family about the people he saw while he was dead, people he had no way of knowing. Can you feel the intensity of Annette's messages about reincarnation, death and dying, after watching a movie like this one?

Do you ever stop and think about the fact that there are so many books written on the subject of death and dying? People are curious and intrigued about what happens when you die. Is there more or is death the absolute end? One of the things that has touched me as I write this book is the memories that are flooding back in, memories I had obviously not thought about in all the time Annette has been gone. These memories are different than when I wrote the first book. Those memories were of the heartbreak of her diagnosis and treatments and how my husband and I struggled to accept and deal with all the trauma of that time. These memories are of the time after Annette's death. I called these memories the road less travelled because they involved a lot of soul searching and doing many things in an attempt to try to understand what her death was all about. I just couldn't believe that she had been sent here for such a short time without there being a reason for her stay. She wasn't unique or any more special than my other children, yet she had insight and knowledge that was way beyond her years. Between Annette's death and the first message coming through I matured in my thinking about and possibilities about life and death. My spirituality seemed to explode as I learned more about myself and my journey. I was curious about life after death, reincarnation, and the idea of people being able to connect to our loved ones on the other side. This was now my odyssey, my journey to learn all I could about this new awareness I was experiencing.
Chapter Thirty

After Annette died, I clearly remember going to a workshop at Brookdale Community College with a friend of mine. When we arrived at the auditorium it was packed with not only parents but a lot of priests, nuns, doctors and nurses all there to learn about this woman's ministry that we had come to hear speak. It was a full day seminar presented by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross who was a pioneer in talking about death and dying and teaching the medical profession about how they should face the trauma of children and adults who were dying of terminal cancer. She mainly dealt with children and shared her belief that even very young children know what is happening to them and have their own fears which they need to express. She spent the whole day sharing her stories of working with children who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She spoke about how these children needed to be heard and allowed the freedom to express their fears of dying and leaving their families behind. Suddenly some of the statements Annette had made during her illness began to make sense to me as I realized what Annette had been trying to say to us. A lot of things became clear to me about all we had gone through during Annette's illness, all the strange statements she had made also made sense to me, as I listened to this Doctor speak that day. I remember being deeply moved and touched by all she had to say.

She was certainly an advocate for those who felt they had no say in the way doctors and nurses dealt with their children who were newly diagnosed with cancer and going through grueling treatments or those in the last stages of their life. She educated the medical profession on the humane and caring way to treat these young patients who were young and felt they had no say in their treatments. She used art therapy and music to help these children open up about their own fears of death and dying and leaving their families. She went on to say that because these patients were children the care givers and adults didn't believe they knew or could understand what was going on and how serious their condition was, that they were dying. The exact opposite was true. They knew without anyone telling them, what was going on. The children, who were so ill, did not want to upset mom and dad or other family members by voicing their fears and letting them know how frightened they were about everything that was happening to them. They said they were hoping mom or dad would tell them why they had to get needles stuck in them all the time and why everyone around them spoke in hushed tones or cried.

Using art and music the children's stories were put into picture form and words. How they felt and the courage they showed in dealing with being in the hospital for weeks at a time, having surgery, radiation and chemotherapy treatments. The paintings the children did were on display that day and you only had to look at them to know what these children were feeling. All of us there that day were deeply touched by what we saw, death and dying for children was finally given a voice by the way these children described what they were going through. The pictures they drew describing their feelings were absolutely amazing. I noticed many professional people wiping tears from their eyes; maybe change was on the way.

A young woman named Deanna Edwards, who is a songwriter and composer, was at this seminar with her, she accompanied Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross to the hospitals and played songs she had composed using the children's own words, words they had shared about how they felt about death and dying. This song is one I have never forgotten and if you can find it listen to it; I know it will touch your heart as it did mine. It has been over thirty years since I went to that seminar yet I have never forgotten the song that she sang that day to the people attending that seminar. I don't think there was a dry eye in the room when she finished.

Teach Me to Die

Sunlight filters through my window, falling from the sky.

Time slips like a silent stranger, softly passing by.

Life goes on in busy circles leaving me behind.

Memories like portraits fill the attic of my mind.

Refrain: Teach me to die, hold onto my hand.

I have so many questions, things I don't understand.

Teach me to die, give all you can give.

If you'll teach me of dying, I will teach you to live.

I know that it isn't easy seeing me this way.

And I know it hurts to watch me lying here day after day.

Trade your fear of parting for the joy that knows no pain.

Don't be afraid to say goodbye I know we'll meet again!

Refrain: Teach me to die, hold onto my hand.

I have so many questions, things I don't understand.

Teach me to die, give all you can give.

If you'll teach me of dying, I will teach you to live.

From the album "Peacebird" by Deanna Edwards

Dr. Kubler-Ross was another soul way ahead of her time, and when she died the world lost a great and wonderful advocate for young children with cancer, and people everywhere who wanted to die with dignity. Her legacy lives on and a lot of what she advocated in those early years of the seventies and eighties is being practiced today in hospitals around the world.

During this seminar Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross made a lot of sense in the things she was sharing. She believed that we make progress in society only if we stop cursing and complaining about its shortcomings and have the courage to do something about them. She believed that we need to teach each succeeding generation of children from day one that they are responsible for their own lives.

She also stated that mankind's greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice. We do have a choice; and we can make our choices built from love not fear. That unfortunately we run after values that, at death, become zero. She said we always need to remember that at the end of your life, nobody is going to ask you how many degrees you have, or how many mansions you built, or how many Rolls Royce's you could afford. This is what dying patients teach you, what's important and what's not.

She also stated that when we have passed the tests we are sent to earth to learn, we are allowed to graduate. We are allowed to shed our body, which imprisons our souls. When you learn your lessons, the pain goes away. You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden, but you will grow if you are sick, if you are in pain, if you experience losses, and if you do not put your head in the sand, but take the pain as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose.

After a near death experience, the survivor finds a new lease on life; she/he is more willing to try new things and to fit as many things as possible into it because she/he is no longer so afraid of what will happen at death. After the near death experience, life is more cherished, and the relationships that gave that life more meaning are emphasized upon. The near death experience encourages growth and exploration. It is no longer something to be feared or dreaded, after all it is something that happens to everyone eventually, and you can't escape it. As you grow older the things that scared you or frightened you when you were younger, don't have the same power to be things that you fear. Life has a way of balancing our feelings and showing us that life is to be lived not feared.
Chapter Thirty One

That day I spent at Brookdale College with my dear friend Maggie from New Jersey in 1975, was another ah-ha moment for me and a turning point in my life. I finally knew I had a purpose and could do something positive and useful to help others going through what my husband and I had with the death of our child. Only someone who had been there and gone through the trauma and sorrow of losing their child could know what parents were experiencing as they went through the stages of grief and finally to the moment of the death of their child. No one, but no one can ever know what that is like unless you have travelled that rough and emotionally draining path.

It was Dr. Kubler-Ross and her message that day that inspired me to get involved with a parents group who helped parents as they went through the trauma of diagnosis and treatment of their child, with death being the end result eighty percent of the time. My husband and I wanted to do something that would honor Annette's memory and help others like us, who were going though, or had been through, the worst experience imaginable, the death of their child. Once you told a parent in the hospital at the time of diagnosis for their child, that you had also lost a child to cancer all the defensive walls they had erected came tumbling down, because they knew that you really knew and understood what they were going through. We didn't want Annette's death to be in vain, so helping others going through the same difficult and horrendous journey as we had just come through was our way of telling the world that we were paying forward, giving back in her memory. Was it easy or helpful? I can tell you from my own perspective that it was heart wrenching, tearful, scary, and sad, with a sense of satisfaction that you couldn't describe, when you knew you had helped someone through a very difficult and tough time.

There were many nights when I remember sitting in a parking lot at a hospital with parents of a newly diagnosed child and crying with them as they tried to absorb and understand the shock and unfairness of what was happening to their child. I ran the gamut of emotions and feelings because I understood and shared with these parents what they were going through, who were hurting so badly. When I told them I had been where they are, and you do survive it, even if for now they don't think they can, they looked at us differently because they felt we were on their side. It's not easy taking one day at a time or one hour or one minute or even one second. Sometimes just drawing the next breath is hard to do. It is drawing that next painful breathe through the fog of emotional pain, and putting one foot in front of the other that makes these parents hero's and survivors. It was only the awareness that I was doing this in Annette's memory that I was able to be of service to other parents for over three years. After that I was worn out, washed out and done. I couldn't do it anymore. I moved on with my life and was able to push the memories of that last year we spent with Annette to the back of my memories. It was always there, the feeling of loss and heartache, it never left me, but as time went on I got much better at covering it up and hiding it.

Our visits to her grave were a regular occurrence for a while and something that I didn't look forward to. I could not see the point in travelling over 40 miles once a month to stand at her headstone and cry as the memories came flooding back and I relived all over again the pain of her death. For me, I knew she wasn't there, so I didn't need to see her grave to know she was dead and gone from our lives. It was important in the early years for my husband to go to her graveside and put a grave blanket on there at Christmas time, but even that is something we don't do anymore. She isn't there in that plot of ground that marks her burial place. The headstone is there to mark the fact that she had lived and it was something she had designed herself, so it was a memorial to her having spent ten years in this life. When I think about her headstone and what she asked to have put on it, I thought how ironic. Here was this old soul that had inhabited my daughter's body, showing me yet again that "God is Love" and that because love cannot be extinguished from our lives, we live on. Annette's memory lives on in our hearts and mind, it is a gift to be able to remember her as she was when she was alive and a healthy vibrant little girl, who had a wonderful sense of humor and a deep love for her family. Those are the memories no one can take away from me. She is not gone, I still feel her presence in so many ways, and she will never be forgotten, because for as long as I live she will always be remembered by me and those who loved her.
Chapter Thirty Two

And so my life moved on, for the next thirty plus years I busied myself raising our family, studying the bible, leading a prayer group, and hosting Marriage Encounter weekends and Together to Jesus weekends for couples. My husband and I led Life in the Spirit Seminars, and so much more, and then, as I shared in my first book, the unbelievable happened. In two thousand and seven I started to receive messages from my daughter Annette who had passed in 1975, the messages came through a psychic in England, and have continued up to this day.

From the moment I said yes I believed in the truth and validity of the messages, my life changed in so many subtle ways that I could never have imagined. I was being shown something that was greater and bigger than I was, something that had no earthly explanation. How do you tell people your daughter is sending you messages from the other side, and oh! By the way, she died thirty two years ago. Pretty hard to believe but it did happen and is happening.

I printed out all those messages and tucked them away in my filing cabinet, and that's where they stayed for the next six years until what I thought was my secret, was exposed, and I began writing my first book. I didn't know where this was all taking me, or if it was even taking me anywhere at all. All I knew without a shadow of a doubt was that I was being prepared in some way for the next phase of my journey here in this life time.

It didn't take long for things to begin moving quickly after we retired in 2010. We bought a new house, moved to another state, and began making some new friends. Among those friends were some very instrumental people who encouraged me and drew me from the place I was to the place I am now. Suddenly, at least that's how it seemed to me, all the gifts I had stuffed down out of sight, out of mind, all my life, came to the forefront and I was "out of the closet" so to speak. I began the slow journey of accepting and believing all that was happening to me. Even though it felt as if I had no choice, I know I could have said no as I had all my life up to this moment in time. What I now wanted to know was where was I going, and what was I going to be doing.

Here I was writing a book that would let the world know that I was a medium and a psychic, a reader of tarot cards. I was still the same person I have always been, except now a new layer had been added to the fabric of my life and I blossomed like a late blooming flower in the autumn.

So many of the things that happened to me, from leading a prayer group, to writing talks for Marriage Encounter weekends and Life in the Spirit Seminars, were all part of the universe's plan for me. Studying the bible and learning so much about what is written in this book that has changed so many lives, including mine, was another step in my growth and learning. Using the gifts of the Holy Spirit at those same prayer meetings, weekends and seminars were all a precursor to why I am here and what I have been.

It is not something you can make happen. It is not something you can manufacture, and it is not something you can pretend has happened. The gifts have to be genuine. You can't fool God's people, because you are eventually going to be found out if it's not real and true. People are not easily fooled by a charlatan, so when they come to you for a reading, if they don't sense that you are the genuine article they do not come back again.
Chapter Thirty Three

For the second time since all of this started, I asked Annette for a message for her dad. This was a personal request I had because I wanted him to feel included in her messages and in what was happening. I was still waiting for her response to that request when she asked me to remind her dad of the pool and the fun times they had together. She knows how sad he was when she passed, but now he is beginning to understand that she lives on in his heart and his memories, and as long as he remembers her, she lives. She asked me to tell him he was the best dad in the world and that she is happy that she chose him to be her dad this time around. She said "We both had things to learn together", and she is now able to watch the seed she planted so many years ago, come to life ever so slowly. She mentions that she is so blessed that she was able to be a part of the momentous happening when the, "Do not disturb", sign came crashing down. Annette said it was time for that to happen, in order for the real healing to begin. She said the awareness of all there is in store for him is exciting and real. So it looks like I got the message I was asking for. How beautiful is it that you can know and be told that your life so deeply touched and affected another? Even if that other person is your child, the knowledge of how your lives were connected is not something that everyone gets to find out.

Remember the scripture passage where Jesus tells his disciples I chose you, you didn't choose me (John 15:16). Think about what that scripture verse is saying. Doesn't that also apply to reincarnation when we say that we have the choice of when and how we come back, and into what family? So when Annette says she chose her dad to be her father in this incarnation, I can say with all seriousness that she chose a very special man who has learned through his past lives what it means to be a father.

Maggie went on to say again that along with Annette giving this message for her dad she also kept seeing pictures of my sister Kris. She asked me if there is something going on with Kris OR is this a time of year that has memories for her. I answered Maggie and told her that this time of year brings back many memories as our mother died November 8th and Julie, Kris's daughter, died November 21st. Maggie said she had a sort of 'strange feeling' that Kris needs support/people around her, she sort of needed holding up?

I told Maggie that Kris has been through a lot lately with her own health issues and now has worries about her son in laws illness. This all takes its toll on Kris and her daughter Penny. (Postscript: Kris's son in law died of melanoma this past February, 2014, and Kris herself is in remission from non-Hodgkin lymphoma along with breast cancer).

I am so thrilled that Maggie is back on the psychic network again with me and open to sharing messages from the other side. She is an amazing lady with a tremendous gift and I am blessed that she shares it with me and blesses my life.

So come on Annette let's get some more messages going and touch others with the truth about the afterlife and what happens. Most people when presented with the idea of reincarnation shudder and say who would want to come back here again after the crappy life I have lived this time around? And......they are right, who in their right mind would want to come back again? I have heard so many stories from people I deal with through my readings, stories filled with sadness and heartbreak. I am sure I would probably feel the same way and have every right to those feelings if I hadn't had the mind blowing encounters with my daughter, thirty two years after her death. Impossible is what I hear from some people. How could that possibly be, that your dead daughter could send you messages thirty two years after her death? I even had a very negative response to my book that this person thought it was a load of hokus pokus junk etc. I do not have the answers. All I know is that for me my life was changed in the blink of an eye with one e-mail stating something so amazing that I am still pinching myself today.

Therein lies the truth of our existence, we are born to die, and in the interim, we are supposed to grow in wisdom and learn some pretty valuable life lessons. My daughter convinces me that we continue to exist after death, and that our consciousness continues after our earthly bodies have returned to the ground, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. It is this consciousness that is able to communicate from the other side, giving messages to our loved ones who are still here in the earthly plain. I see it in the faces of those I read the heightened expectation and hope that someone they love will come through with a message for them. The message most times is simply "I am okay and at peace".
Chapter Thirty Four

Annette continues to send me messages through Maggie that are full of information and facts that she could not possibly have known, things that happened or transpired way after her passing. Such was the case when Maggie sent me the messages concerning Kris's daughter Julie, so much of what she said were things that only Kris would know and it is these types of things that convince me even more that this is all true.

During one of my conversations with my friend Maggie, my sister Carol came through who had passed ten years ago from breast cancer. She asked me to pass on a message to her daughter in England. I complied with her request and sent her daughter Susan a private message on Facebook that her mum had contacted me from the other side. I told her that she had asked me to tell her that "she regretted she didn't do something while she was here" that affected Susan and their relationship. She said that her daughter would know what she was referring to, even if I had no idea what she was talking about. I sent the message to her daughter and received an immediate response from her. She was delighted and awed to get this message from her mum, a message she had been waiting ten years to receive. She knew exactly what her mother was talking about and said she had been to many psychics and had heard from her mum but had never gotten this specific message. I was only too happy to be the middle man in this healing connection between a mother and daughter, and even though my sister, my niece's mother, had been gone for over ten years it sometimes takes that long for the message their loved one is waiting to hear, to come through.

I know from personal experience that when a loved one dies, it can feel as though they've been ripped from our lives forever. The truth is the people we are close to and love are always with us. The spirit lives on; and yes, sometimes they do try to get messages across to us. They may want to just let us know they're okay because they see how upset we are about losing them. They want to make sure we're taken care of and will move on with our lives, or they may have died suddenly and be having a hard time letting go of their life. They may just be checking up on us over the years to see how we are. They want to acknowledge a birthday, an anniversary or the birth of a new baby in the family or caution us about a bad situation we may be involved with. It is learning to know what signs to look for, so you'll get the message they are trying to get through to you.

Usually, this happens when we're tuned to the right "frequency." I have found that for me it happens most often when I'm in a state of relaxation and my brain waves have slowed down, like before I do a reading and meditate before my client comes. It can also happen when you're doing something dull or repetitive, and get into a state of mind in which you "zone out." From what I have been told this happens a lot when you are driving to a place that you have driven many times before, say to work or to the store. You get to your destination but don't remember how you got there. It is when you are relaxing and in a state of mindlessness that your mind goes on auto pilot and you are able to continue doing what you were before your mind drifted off. Have you ever had a deceased loved one just pop into your head when you're driving, doing chores or just kicking back and letting your mind wander in no specific direction, it could be that loved one is trying to say something to you. Dreams are a state in which we are particularly perceptive of their presence. If you have a dream of someone departed that seems real, it probably is.

Sometimes a spirit might not go directly to you. They might be having too hard a time getting through to you or you might be ignoring or blocking their signals. If you're not getting the message, they may turn to someone more susceptible. If a living friend or family member calls you or shows up at your door one day and says, "Hey, you just popped into my head and I had to get in touch to see how you're doing." It might be the idea was planted in their head by a spirit. A spirit might even push them to buy you a gift or help you out—they'll think it's their own idea, but the soul of the departed is the one who actually places the thought in their minds. Animals and babies are so much more in tune with spirit energy. If you've been ignoring your deceased loved one's attempt to contact you, your animals or babies might begin acting funny by getting excited, making unusual noises, or staring at what seems like nothing.

As you know with various haunting situations, spirits, being made up of energy, can intermingle with other energy fields. Sometimes they figure out that they can manipulate electricity and electronic devices. Sometimes when your loved one is trying to get a message through, they might flicker lights move things or cause things to turn off and on unexpectedly, just to let you know they are around. Ever had a radio come on by itself or the TV turn on and no one did it? Sometimes they'll even cause the phone or doorbell to ring, but no one will be there when you answer, or you will hear your name being called. If unusual things like this begin to happen, it might be someone is trying to get your attention. Don't jump at shadows; not every little thing is a ghost of your past. However, don't ignore it when things begin to happen or patterns emerge. Pay attention and write down the occurrence and see if it is happening more than once or twice. If it is then be blessed your loved one from the other side is trying to get a message through to you.
Chapter Thirty Five

I have had messages come through in Chinese fortune cookies. I know that sounds funny but it's true. A few years back when I was beginning to open up again to the spirit and questioned where I was supposed to go and be doing, I asked for some kind of confirmation that this is what I was supposed to be pursuing at this time in my life. I was invited to an evening of prayer and reflection where you walked a labyrinth, which is a prayer wheel that is painted on canvas you walk around in silence and meditate on whatever it is your thoughts lead you to. Walking into the labyrinth is reminiscence of your journey to God, with many twists and turns and places to stop, think and pray. Once you reach the center of the labyrinth you stay there for as long as you need to for this is where you connect with God/Spirit. As you journey back out of the labyrinth you carry with you the insights and messages you sensed you received as you walked prayerfully out of the circle.

Prior to walking the labyrinth this particular evening my friends and I had gone to a Chinese restaurant for supper. At the end of the meal I opened my fortune cookie and inside was this rather cryptic message, "There is nothing you cannot accomplish if you set your mind to it". Nothing unusual in that, except the gymnasium where we went to walk the labyrinth, had this exact same message written on the wall in bold letters. Talk about doing a double take. I took this as the sign that I had asked for, and began to once more acknowledge and validate the gifts I had been given, Some might say this was just a coincidence. Pretty big coincidence if you ask me. I took it as a pretty big signpost that shouted out loud and clear what I was supposed to be doing. Now did I start seeing dead people right away and becoming a medium and reader? No, I started slowly by reading cards for the ladies I went out to lunch with from my church. As I got better and better at doing the readings, (according to what they told me), I became more confident and knew in my heart and soul that I could no longer hide my light under a bushel. From there to where I am now has been an exhilarating and uphill journey, which isn't over yet. Each day I know I am well on my way to expanding and growing in my knowledge and awareness that what I do is not only good, but so needed in our society today.

This was now my journey, to learn all I could about this new awareness that I was experiencing. I went to my first psychic as I explained earlier and was intrigued with what she told me about members of my family. The second one I went to was during one of my trips back home to England in two thousand five. I guess in a way I was testing this ability some people had to be able to connect to the other side. This was someone who didn't know me or anything about me, and because I had an American accent couldn't know that I had been born and raised in the town we were in. Her name was Susan and I was with her for nearly two hours as she spoke about my family and things she had no way of knowing. At the end of my time with her she looked at me and said "You should be doing what I am doing. You were born for this". That was the first of many similar messages I received from other people saying that this is what I should be doing. I just smiled and thought to myself I could never do what you are doing and left it at that, never realizing how prophetic her words were to be in my life.
Chapter Thirty Six

Today a dear friend of mine from back home in New Jersey, shared with me another truth. This truth was revealed to me through someone I trusted, about where I am, and what I am meant to be doing. She came to visit us for the weekend and we had a long talk about what I am doing, especially since I wrote the book. One of the many things we discussed were her feelings about not understanding what she thought had happened to me since moving from New Jersey to Delaware. She shared how she was concerned I had changed my beliefs, and was now getting involved in something new age and out there, both things I had spoken against while living in New Jersey and involved in the leadership of a catholic prayer group.

She asked me many good and valid questions that I had to think about before I could answer her, about the how, when, and why of how I got to where I am now. We talked for a long time about what happened to change my thinking and what I am doing in my life as a medium and tarot card reader. She said she understood after reading my book that this was not something that just happened to me. She said she knew after thinking about it that I had been getting prepared for this for as long as she has known me. She spoke about the journey we have travelled together over the past thirty plus years, and as someone who really knows me said she was not surprised that I was using the gifts she had seen me exhibit when leading the prayer group. She now has a clearer understanding of what I am doing, which made me feel really good.

One of the things she mentioned during our conversation was that a lot of my old friends and acquaintances in New Jersey were puzzled and a bit concerned at what they considered my three hundred and eighty degree about face regarding psychics and mediums and tarot card readers. Some of them had read my book and even after reading it could not understand what they were calling my change of heart. They remembered me as the person who did not have anything positive to say about what I now do, and that I had strongly counseled others not get involved in this type of thing. Sadly some of the people I called friends were very closed to the idea that I could now be doing this.

After sharing some pretty powerful moments, she said that she had this strong feeling that in order for all this to have happened to me I had to move away from my comfort zone and the people I knew. Only then could I become what I am today. I am the proud author of a book that is touching many people's lives, with an air of certainty about who I am, and not worrying anymore about what people think of me or whether or not I was doing the right thing. I know what I am doing is right for me. It is what I have been called to do my whole life. I just ignored the call and shoved it down inside.

My path had been laid down way before I knew anything about it, so when the opportunity presented itself, I freely made the choice to walk that path towards enlightenment. The Lord Almighty has sworn, "Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand." - Isaiah 14:24

For me this statement from the bible has a powerful meaning which I take to heart and believe God/spirit planned and purposed that for me at this stage in my life I would find my true purpose and plan that will stand against any and all criticism or misunderstanding. As it is for me, so it is for all of God's creation. If you feel called to do something, do it, because the compelling feeling will not go away until you say yes to what you are called to do.

Finally my friend's words to me were ones of affirmation and encouragement. This was someone that I have known for over thirty years, a dear friend who had been through so many things with me. Yet I found that I was more than a bit hesitant to reveal to her what I was now doing. I didn't want to lose her friendship and was afraid she would judge me as really losing my marbles. Here was that rare find, a true friend, someone who read my book, knew me for such a long time and needed and wanted to understand the journey I am on. No judgments, no pointing fingers saying "But you said", no criticism or mocking, only a genuine need to comprehend where I am and what bought me to this place in my life. Once again I knew the universe was speaking to me through another person, someone I love and trust, and what I was hearing was, "Listen, wisdom speaks through others"! So here again I felt I was being blessed and encouraged on my journey by the person I had not expected that kind of response from.

Annette laughed and said, "Mommy you should know better, your path was laid down for you before you even came into existence, when you were a young soul learning your life lessons. All that has been prepared and set in motion for you to be servant and messenger to those you meet and bless with your gifts". I am still learning to wrap my head around that statement and completely immerse myself in all that it entails. How on earth did she become so wise that she can see things and know things I am just learning?
Chapter Thirty Seven

Expectantly I wait for the next step that the universe is going to show me in my walk. I sometimes wonder why I was chosen to have this gift and why I was so afraid to allow it to blossom until this late stage in my life. As I thought about this I realized I was afraid to reveal my gifts to anyone because I was fearful of being made fun of or disappointing people I had spiritually counseled during my prayer group days.

I was speaking to Maggie today via Facebook and she asked me a very strange question. She asked me if Annette was coming to you and appearing as a solid person now. I told her yes she is but that I also hoped she would continue the relationship she has with her. She said that's good that she is coming to you now, she assured me that Annette is still appearing to her. I know that being on the other side they do not have the attachments that we do, but I hope that Annette will continue her messages through Maggie because I love the connection they have with one another. She is the person Annette first revealed herself to, so I sense there is an emotional attachment there for Maggie.

One of the burning questions that come to my mind frequently is what is it about psychics and mediums that scares or frightens people? When I tell people what I do I can almost sense their withdrawal from me, and I can see the shield go up. Annette says it's because they do not understand the need for a continual life journey, and/or they are a very young soul who hasn't had too much reincarnation experience. As a young soul they have to make fun of or make light of those things that they do not understand or accept as being real or valid, because if they don't, then they have to acknowledge that there might be some validity to the whole idea of reincarnation being a possibility and then where does that leave them?

Either way these people have to make sense of what they do not accept as being real so they make jokes about what a psychic does, or just plain ignore it. Annette went on to say that trying to explain what happens when a medium contacts a loved one on the other side, and passes on messages to the family, is really difficult to understand if you are dealing with a young soul. Just today I had this experience in sharing what I do with someone. I immediately knew they did not believe or agree with what I was saying. I have learned not to defend or argue about what I do, but to just let the message speak for itself, and leave it at that.

In sharing readings with clients I am made aware again and again, that those who come for readings do so because there is someone they really want to connect with on the other side. It's being able to say that final farewell, or just hear that they are at peace and not hurting anymore, is enough to put the clients mind at rest. What I have also discovered as I give more and more readings and something that I find very interesting and heartwarming, is that people who have taken their own lives, come through to their family member to tell them they accept full responsibility for their actions. They are sorry that they brought such hurt and sorrow into the lives of those they love but want them to know that in no way could they have done anything to stop or prevent what happened. For the people I have been able to pass that message onto it has lifted a burden and given peace to them to know they could not have prevented it from happening. Suicide is something that no one understands and there is no way you can fathom how someone could feel that helpless and hopeless that they would take their own life. Once they are on the other side they want nothing more than to connect with their family so that they can let them know they are all right and that what happened was in no way their fault and that they could not have done anything to prevent it. Their concern from the other side is to want to alleviate any sense of guilt their families might be feeling, they just need them to know they love them and are sorry for what they did. As I have said many times, you cannot understand something you have not had a personal experience of, so, next time you are placed in the position of hearing news like this, give the family a hug and just be there for them. The pain they feel is like nothing you have ever felt and hopefully will never have to.
Chapter Thirty Eight

I'd like to share some more of my readings with you to show you how this all happens. I have changed the names unless I have a signed release from the client giving me permission to use their name and/or their story. I want you to know that I in no way would I ever tell a client someone is coming through for them unless it's the truth. I could never mislead another human being with such sensitive and emotional information as what I am honored to pass on, if it wasn't the truth.

In this particular reading I was asked by my mentor and friend Judi to read her cards, and see who, if anyone would come through for her. I gave her the same information as I give all my clients, which is, I have no control over who will come through in your reading, so if you came hoping a specific person would appear and they don't, it doesn't mean they didn't want to connect with you. It means your message is in the reading so pay attention to what is coming through in the cards. I can honestly say that of all the readings I have done so far, in every one of them I have been blessed to have people come through with messages for the client.

During Judi's reading her mother came through, but the surprise was who opened the door for her parents to come through. It was an Uncle that she would never have expected to do that, even from the other side. She told me that he didn't believe in what she did for a living, so when he came through first and announced who he was, she was very surprised. But as the reading went on, he told her he wanted to do this for her and make amends for the things he said when he was alive. Her mother came through and was this very big personality type person, she would only allow others to speak for a short time and then she would come bustling through wanting to be acknowledged by her daughter. One of the beautiful things she mentioned was thanking her daughter for lifting her up when she died. Judi explained to me afterwards that first of all no one knew that, and what she did was when she got to her mother's apartment, she was already dead, but she knelt next her mother with the aid that had been taking care of her, and she prayed a meditation prayer helping her mother to cross over. Her mother told her she waited for her to come before she would leave and thanked her again, for in her words, "Lifting her up".

Her mentors and friends also came through for her, two special people, who had taught her about astrology and tarot. They came through with their personalities intact and just wanted her to know they were in a good place and at peace, they thanked her for her friendship and caring through all the years they knew her. Another person that came through for her was her old housekeeper and child minder. This was a person that had worked for her for many years and just wanted to thank her for being so kind and loving towards her.

Another reading I did was for a man in a wheelchair. When he called to make an appointment he told me he was confined to a wheelchair and I had to tell him my house was not wheelchair accessible. He then asked me if I could do a reading for him in my garage, a first for me. I said yes, as long as he was comfortable with it. The night of his reading I put my table and chairs up in the garage and tried to make it look as pleasant as I could. I lit candles and put some angel statues around and placed some crystals on the table, my husband put a large rug we had rolled up in the corner of the garage, on the floor to help make it look less like a garage.

His reading was going really well, both of his parents came through, his mom was a feisty lady and spoke her mind saying exactly what she thought. He told me that's how she was when she was alive and then she showed me her slapping him on the back of the head. I told him what I saw and he laughed and said that was his mother. She used to do that to him all the time when he was a young boy and stepped out of line. During this time a friend of his came through and after I had described what he was wearing he knew right away who it was.

His friend had on this straw hat and was chewing a piece of hay in his mouth. He reminded me of Jeb Clampit from the show The Beverly Hillbillies, because he had on what looked to me like a farmer's outfit with his fingers hooked in the loops of his jeans and just stood there waiting to be acknowledged. When I told him who was there and described what he was wearing, he knew straight away who it was. He was delighted that his old friend had come through for him. I also ended up reading for his nurse as well that night.
Chapter Thirty Nine

So many of the readings I have been privileged to be part of were beautiful and moving for the people receiving them. As I began to learn the meaning of the different signs and signals I was receiving, I became so much more attuned to passing on the messages and being able to tell the client what member of their family is here, by what I am being shown. It's an amazing process, one I am continually in awe of and humbled by, as I move aside and allow my clients families and friends to come through to them once again. Those who have crossed over never stop loving those they left behind, so when this connection is made it is one of love and oneness.

When you hear the phrase "Love never dies", it is so true and so important for us all to know in the very core of our being, that the word love, which is trivialized by the media and by magazines and movies etc. is a very powerful emotion, capable of moving mountains. Just ask any parent who has loved and lost a child. They never cease to remember their child with love and memories that can bring them to tears, even after a long period of time. It could be hearing a song on the radio, or smelling perfume that they used to wear. Many times, many things will bring your loved one to your remembrance where you are missing them and loving them so much. We never stop loving those who have crossed over; we will always remember them and think of them with love. Love is what makes the universe exist and continue its journey, touching the lives of those who seek its wisdom and knowledge. It helps them grow in their own awareness of the mystical magical thing we call life.

If, as I believe, re-incarnation is part of the process of life, then no matter how you try to explain the journey, it is one of continuing returns, and none of it could happen without love being in the mix. I am beginning to finally understand why Annette wanted "God is Love" put on her headstone along with the bird of peace holding an olive branch in its mouth. She drew this picture before her death and asked her sister to give it to us when she died. It was the dove with the olive branch in its mouth and the words God is Love. She was leaving us with a big message. In her picture she was telling us that she was at peace and that she was with a God who is love. It's a shame it took so long for us to figure this out.

It is the very belief of a higher power, something that is greater than yourself that gives the validity and reason for our being here in this life time. Coming back here to live again is not something to look on with dislike or anxiety, saying this one lifetime was enough. If that were true then we would all be in the waiting room in heaven and have no need to return here to continue our schooling or life lessons, which are leading us towards perfection which will lead us eventually to our goal which is being in the presence of the divine for eternity. It is the ability to change our way of thinking and think in the way of God who has planned for all eternity for us to be exactly where we are, learning exactly what we are learning, and leading us in the way of righteousness for His name's sake. So be open minded to learning whatever it is you came back to learn in this lifetime.

We are allowed to continue our incarnations until we come to that moment when God/spirit makes us aware that we have reached the end of our journey and have finished the race set before us. As St Paul states in Galatians when he likens our journey to a race by saying that he has run the race and has claimed the prize set before him, we also will claim our prize at the end of our own personal races. We no longer need to return, we have completed our life lessons and now are able to go to Paradise where we are reunited once again with our loved ones, our soul families, and stay in the presence of divine love for all eternity. It doesn't matter what your professed religion or beliefs are this is God's plan for all of His creation. None of us is here by accident or coincidence. We are each here to fulfill our divine purpose, which is different for each one of us, and when we have done that our earthly dwelling dies and we go back to the place where we are allowed to rest and wait until we feel ready to come back again. We are given the choice of when and to whom we are born, as Annette has said we get to choose our parents, our families, and what lessons we want to learn in our next life, and when we are ready, we are "born again"
Chapter Forty

I am not trying to convince you to believe what I am saying and sharing. It is important for me and for Annette that you understand her message that death is not the end, as she goes one step further and shares with you why she knows this to be true. On my own I cannot convince anyone of the truth of what I am sharing, only your own inner voice can touch your heart in such a way that you can no longer deny that what I am sharing is true, not just for me, but for everyone who reads these words I write. I am constantly shown they are not my words but are coming from a place deep inside of me where God/spirit reside, where Annette can reach me despite the chatter of my everyday life. Her voice is one I hear and recognize amidst the noise and clamor that goes on around me, she speaks to me of things that amaze me and make me shake my head in disbelief. Yet I know her words and the message she is giving are true and need to be shared, not because she is so wonderful or special, but because the messages she shares are wonderful and special. I sometimes sense her yelling at me from the top of her lungs trying to get my attention, and when she does, she begins to impart to me wisdom beyond her years.

The following is a poem written by Mary Elizabeth Frye which is on a lot of the sympathy cards you get when you attend a funeral.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there I do not sleep,

I am the thousand winds that blow

I am the Diamond glints on snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry

I am not there, I did not die.

This particular poem speaks so much truth about what death is. Especially last line, "Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there, I did not die." I know people have said that wakes and funerals are necessary for the family that is grieving the loss of their loved one they need the ritual to bring closure, if so then it is a good ritual to observe. But yet, when I read a poem like the one above at a funeral, I wonder if the people there really believe what that poem is saying because for me the truth is that even though wakes and funerals may be necessary, the person being buried left that body at the moment of death and moved on to their next stage of learning.

Do we fear death because we don't know if what we have been taught by all the different religious denominations all our lives is true? If we believed as we say we do, then why the fear? Why do people use any means possible to stave off the aging process, plastic surgery, hair extensions, liposuction, and breast augmentation, all in an effort to look and feel younger and possibly extend their life. Is it the fear of the unknown; is death that big black gaping hole into nothingness? Or is it the ending of one journey and the beginning of another? Whatever you believe molds the way you live your life in the here and now, if death is the end then live your life to the fullest and enjoy every crazy ride and experience. But if it is not the end and there is an afterlife in which reincarnation plays a big part, then our living takes on a different dimension.

We are aware of the journey we are on and the lessons called life commandments, that we need to learn. These life lessons are spirit builders, they mold the person we become and the morals and values with which we walk through this existence. Death is not the end, nor is it the final journey we take. Death is just another step we take towards what we will eventually be when we stand in the presence of the eternal spirit which is God or the Supreme Being. Annette says that we are all on this journey towards perfection and oneness with God, and that at the end of the journey is the gift of spending eternity in the presence of the holiest of holies, God/Spirit.

If we really believed and knew how wonderful it is, she says we would not be afraid of death but welcome it as a means of growing closer to that moment when we will have completed our incarnations and are ready to be in the presence of the Divine for all eternity.

I remember something my mother used to say to us all the time, "It's not the dead you have to worry about hurting you but the living", how true this is! The dead no longer have the power to hurt us only to edify us with the joy of knowing they have finished their journey in this earthly life and have moved on to a newer and more beautiful realm to learn what their next incarnation will be like.
Chapter Forty One

Tonight I read for a young couple, and after I read them I got to thinking to myself what is it that these young people are looking for. Is life so full of questions and unknowns that young people are searching for answers to life's tough questions anywhere they can? Think about it, are there things in your life that you wish you had the answers for especially when it comes to the question of whether or not there is life after death. There are just so very many questions that we don't have the answers for. Is the door really shut once you die, and your spirit just goes into the nether world and that's where you stay for all eternity where there is no hope or expectation of being in the presence of the Divine? Would a creative and loving Father do that? I don't think so. The bible tells us we are created in His image and likeness, called to be salt to the earth, light to the world and a blessing to mankind. But are we? Each person as they complete their journey and reach the end of their road has to ask themselves those questions. Was I salt to the earth? Was I light to the world? Did I bring love and healing into my corner of the world through my actions and beliefs?

Someone asked me if we come back again and again how come the world population is increasing? I was given this response when I asked my daughter if we keep coming back how come there are so many more people in the world now. She told me that some of us finish our incarnations and do not return again, but new souls are coming in all the time. They are very young souls, who have many lifetimes of lessons to learn. The ones who have older souls, who have completed their learning are rewarded by being in Paradise forever. A lot more people die who have completed their incarnations and so therefore they do not come back, thus making room for the new souls to come into the world. Edgar Cayce makes the same statements about people ending their time here on earth and moving on to Paradise. If we are thinking that our bodies go into Paradise we miss the whole point. Our bodies go back into the ground ashes to ashes dust to dust, it is our consciousness, our souls that goes on, and so if we still have lessons to learn, then we come back. But as I understand it, we get to choose the place, time and family we come back to, and also the lessons we want to learn this time around.

It's something we all want to know. Do we have to come back? Do I want to come back? How will I know that I am finished my incarnations and have learnt what I needed to know and absorb to become one with the Father? You will know this without being told when you meet your maker, and stand before the throne of God where you will go through the final judgment, it is then you will know whether or not you are done. So as Annette reminds me, we leave our earthly bodies which are just the shell that we chose to inhabit for this particular lifetime. Our soul is what moves on, so we do not have to carry this body around with us on the other side. This body will return to the earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and we move on. It is our consciousness that survives and continues in to our next life, along with our soul and spirit that will inhabit our next chosen life.

If you are at all curious as to what previous lives you have lived just take a moment and think about the things that resonate with you in this lifetime. What are the things you like to do? The foods you like to eat, spicy or bland? Do you like the heat or the cold?? Are you afraid of heights and high places? Don't like driving fast?

Make a list of the things you think of and look back into history and see where they fit in. For example I have a friend who resonates strongly with the early nineteen thirties era, loves the clothes and the movies from that time, and anything English. This is an easy one, I would hazard a guess that her last lifetime was lived in the forties, and most likely in England. So think about it, what stands out for you?

I personally love anything to do with eighteenth century, the clothing, the history, the court intrigue that is in movies I have seen, and books I have read that deal with that particular period of history. Whatever era you are drawn to, and it can be more than one, is where you most likely spent a past life. To me it is fascinating when I try to figure out my past lifetimes and what I came here for this time around. Did I choose to come into the world again to experience the moving away from my homeland and my family to travel three thousand miles to America? This made me feel that maybe I traveled here from England during the period of the Mayflower. Going through the loss of my mother at age twenty one, the death of my siblings at an early age then the death of my child?

I believe that these were the emotions and events I chose so that I can move on in this life and know that I am strong enough to endure and live through those events. What did they teach me? What lessons have I learned? I know I survived the loss of my mother, and the loss of my siblings. I also was able to move here to the states and leave everything I knew to begin a new life, make new friends and meet a new family. The big one, the death of my child, in that one horrific huge life changing moment I learned how important it is to help others and not wallow in self-pity or poor me's, or even why me's. I learned that my life is not defined or made up by one moment but by many moments, that once they are all woven together make up the fabric of my life.
Chapter Forty Two

In one of Annette's messages to me, she asked me what was going on with me. Was I doing my best to get her message and book into the public eye? She is such a spunky little girl and a formidable spirit even on the other side, an old soul who has seen it all and lived through more lifetimes than even I can imagine. She has an agenda and she isn't budging from it one iota. It is to help people who are struggling with the question of life and death. Her story brings hope and comfort to those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, by giving them hope and by affirming that, once and for all, that death is not the end. It is just the end of this current life. As I have mentioned before, our consciousness and soul lives on and that is what we connect with when we are able to be in a place where that connection can happen. I am always in awe at what Annette shares with me, the depth and beauty of her stories and insights are amazing. Then when I am able to share those messages with all of you through this book, it's a gift. Again and again she tells me the same story or message in different words and scenario's hoping that I will get it out there to everyone who will listen. She reminds me that her message is one that people need to hear, especially in today's world. That says to me she is not only very aware of what is going on in the minds and hearts of people but wants nothing more than for her message to gain momentum and help people cope with the uncertainties of life.

It would be wonderful to have her perspective and wisdom for just one moment, to be a part of her view from the rainbow. To be able to see what she sees and hear what she hears, to have her awareness of things that goes beyond yours and mine. She tells me that I need to tell more about what happens when I read for someone so that people can get a better understanding of what it is that I am privileged and blessed to see from the other side. She affirms this one message for those that still do not understand that it is our consciousness that survives, that goes on. What I see at a reading is the imprint of the physical body that the client's family or friend is showing me, almost like a hologram with no defining features. I know whether it is a male or female, old or young, and from which side they stand on, whether or not they are family or friend. If they appear standing on the client's left side then it is family, on the client's right side it would be friends. Their mission is to bring awareness to the family member that they are still around and know all that goes on. The message that they give, almost all the time, is one of thanks and reassurance that they are okay and at peace, and in a better place. It also is the opportunity for them to say thanks for being there when I drew my last breathe, and for letting me know it was okay for me to leave and go towards the light. Does this bring comfort to those I read for? I certainly hope so, especially when they can confirm something for the family member who is being read.

One such message that a son had for his father was to ask him where his ball was. The father looked at me rather quizzically and said he had no idea what I was talking about. It wasn't until after he left that I found out from his wife that the ball in question had been his son's baseball that the whole team had signed and so was special to him. Asking his dad what happened to the ball was something that only his father would know. I certainly had no way of knowing about this baseball and how special it had been to the son who had passed. The son also said that his dad was one of three fathers. This brought a quizzical look from me this time. The father went on to explain that he definitely was the third father in this son's short life. His biological father he never knew, then his next father died when he was about four years old, so this man sitting in front of me was his third father; the man who raised him and taught him the things that only a dad can teach a son.
Chapter Forty Three

Events that have happened over the past few days got me to thinking about what thought processes go on in people's minds. Why it seems to be part of human nature to want to put someone down, just because you don't understand or accept the way they live their life, or the things they believe in. I would not expect someone to fall in line with what I believe, because what I believe is a personal journey. I certainly would not make fun of someone for what they believed, for its different for each and every person. Why can't we just help our friends and neighbors along the way, instead of trying to lord it over others to show our superiority? In my heart of hearts the only person who can lord it over me is the Lord Himself. Other people do not have that right to sit in judgment or make statements about what I do. I believe in the old maxim, live and let live.

With that being said I am sure you are getting the impression that things have been said about what I do, reading tarot cards and being a psychic. Unfortunately there will always be those who disagree with what I do, but, I am in no way swayed by their opinions of me or their opinions of my work. I let the gifts speak for themselves.

I just wonder why what I do threatens so many people when it is one of the most spiritually healing modalities there is. I see people walk away from one of my readings with a smile on their face and peace and acceptance in their heart. This isn't because I am so wonderful. It's because the messages that they hear are ones of healing and hope and consolation that there is indeed so much more than what we have been told. The "other side" to me is a reality, a place where that part of our loved ones that continues to exist after death. Their consciousness is able to connect and contact their families through any avenue they can find, a medium doing a reading, dreams, or any other form of communication that can happen. It is our loved ones consciousness that goes on, or like the title song from Titanic says, the heart/love does go on.

You never forget your first kiss, your first crush or the first boyfriend/girlfriend or the real love of your life. Those memories never fade or go away, they are always in your subconscious because that love never ends, it never ceases, never dies, and that through all the many life times that we may live the heart/love does go on. Love is the one emotion we all crave to experience and one that is enduring and forever. I have heard stories of couples who have been married for a long time, that when one of them dies it isn't too much longer before the other one passes as well. The spouse that is left behind simply cannot face living life without the one person who made their life worth living, who completed them and made them whole.

Thankfully we meet up with the same people who are part of our soul family, our village, in each incarnation. They are the people with whom you have an immediate connection, a sense that you have met before and known each other before.

I know our consciousness or love never dies because there are people that you meet that you are immediately drawn to and develop an instant liking to, and with them you form a relationship that delights and binds you together as one. Or you meet your partner and know immediately that you have found your soul mate again in this lifetime. I am blessed to be the bridge that connects each to the other, an expansive and comforting word to those people who are hurting and looking for some reassurance that life goes on and that death is not the end. What is it that makes us seek out information about the reality of life after death? What is it inside of us that makes us want to believe that there is more?

I once did a calculation on our life span in human time and came up with this piece of trivia that moved me into action in researching what the more could be. My calculation was taken from a line in the bible which says, "But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day." So if the average life span is seventy five, say even eighty, with today's new and improved technologies, then in the timeline of God we live for approx. twelve point five days or seven hundred and fifty hours. When you look at your life using this timetable then you become more aware that we certainly don't have all the time in the world to get things right, thus the need for multiple lifetimes. You can also look at this and use the same calculation for the story of creation, I was curious as to how this would apply so I used the same table to actually figure out what in my mind was the actual time it took for God to create his masterpiece, the world. Then it makes sense to realize that God didn't create the world in seven days but rather more likely seven thousand years, which to me makes the story of creation a lot easier to understand. Especially when you read about the earth being billions of years old and you look at places like the Grand Canyon that dates back millions of years. So each lifetime is but a fleeting passage of time spent in which we fix and heal our karma from things that have harmed or hurt others or ourselves in any way.

Think of all the advances each succeeding generation of our families have been privileged to see, and some that were not such a privilege. Look at the people who went through the great depression, and the Wall Street crash of nineteen twenty nine, or the First and Second World Wars, the bombing of Nagasaki and Hiroshima, the sinking of the unsinkable Titanic. All of these and so many more were tragic events that changed the course of history, and were also instrumental in changing each of our individual histories.

As we evolve and learn about what makes us who we are in each succeeding lifetime, we bring with us those attitudes and beliefs that need to be changed or healed during our current life. It's going one step further than our surface fears and anxieties, which we all have, to facing our deepest fears and those things that cause us the most anxiety and trepidation. I'm talking about things like fear of the dark, fear of water, fear of snakes, fear of being alone, or fear of making a wrong decision. All of these fears are very real and can be debilitating to the one who has them, and each fear we have can consume us so much so that it can affect the way you live your life. Fear of what others think of you can prevent you from making any decisions at all without conferring with someone else and getting multiple opinions. The fear that your family and friends might discover your secrets, things you have tried to keep hidden from them all your life. Fear of being ridiculed or laughed at for being different, or for not going along with the crowd. The fear of not fitting in to the neighborhood where you live, or the fear of not being one of the "in" crowd. This particular fear of not being one of the "in" crowds can happen at any stage or age in our lives. You know what I mean, the feeling of knowing you are different and have different views on things that sets you apart from the others in your circle of acquaintances.

I have a very dear friend who is an amazing psychic, but refuses to use her gifts because she is so afraid of her family and friends learning about what she can do, so she denies the gift and plays it down out of fear. Fear of being thought of as strange, and sadly, it is that fear that debilitates her because she is so afraid of what people will think of her. She immobilizes herself from sharing her gifts with others, and thinks that by hiding out, so to speak, she will not be found out. I find this to be so sad, as she is someone who, through her gift, has already blessed and brought comfort to so many without her even realizing it. Her gifts have the potential to bless and comfort so many others.
Chapter Forty Four

If our loved ones could say anything to us that would let us know what they were thinking, I believe it would be something like the following.

I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.

I could see that you were crying...you found it hard to sleep.

I spoke to you so softly as you brushed away a tear.

"It's me, I haven't left you...I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea.

You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached out to me.

I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.

I want to reassure you that I am not lying there.

I walked with you toward the house, as you fumbled for your key;

I gently put my hand on you. I smiled and said, "It's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.

I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you every day.

To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, and then smiled, I think you knew...

In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,

I'll rush across to greet you and we will stand, side-by-side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.

Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.

-Author Unknown

I keep coming across these beautiful poems written by people who wish to remain anonymous. They help me to look at Annette's messages with even more conviction and understanding. As I read these beautiful poems I can relate to the sentiments the author is trying to convey as I am sure you do if you are reading this book. The message that death is not the end continues to be proclaimed and acknowledged by people other than myself, which cannot be a coincidence. It shows me that this is most definitely an important message; one that needs our help to spread it to as many people as possible, so they can at least read it or hear about it. Once you pay attention and really hear what the message is saying, you begin the process of wondering if it could maybe, just maybe, be true. You are then on your way to accepting the message and becoming aware that the universe is at work, sending this word of hope and comfort and using many others to spread the word that they have heard from their loved ones who have crossed over.

For so many people this is a comforting and caring word of hope and encouragement, the possibility that they just might be able to connect again with those they loved and felt they lost through death.

I wonder if Annette knew when she started me on this journey that this is what would happen. She is so sure of her messages and words of wisdom. She does not hesitate to guide me in another direction when she sees that I am stuck or not sure what to write next. This is what just happened, I was leafing through Facebook and this poem jumped out at me, when I read it I had the strong sense that I should add it to my book so that the message could be shared by someone else other than me. From that my thoughts just seemed to take flight and so many awesome thoughts came into my head, and my fingers started flying across the keyboard. Thank you Annette, you did it again. I'm a believer, are you?

I have had so many diverse and varied thoughts on the subject of reincarnation lately, my mind goes off on tangents of thought and I have a hard time trying to reel them in so I can put them down on paper. I know that in the end any all of us want to know is that our life meant something to someone, and that we touched one another in ways that left a lasting impression. This makes me think of my mother who died in nineteen sixty five, yet people in my home town in England still remember her. Why? Is it because she was especially kind and caring towards others, and believed in treating others as you wanted them to treat you? That's part of it, I'm sure, but the bigger part for me is that I could never once remember her expressing a bad or negative word about anyone. She wasn't a saint. She just believed in living her life the way she wanted others to treat her. She so obviously touched many people in my home town of Cirencester that even today, forty nine years after her death; people still remember who she was. I wish every day that I was more like her and could look the other way or turn the other cheek the way she did.

Can our memories come back as thoughts when we return to this life again to complete another aspect of our journey? You know what I mean, the tastes, smells and sights that are all a bit too familiar. The smells that you know you have smelt before, the things you have touched before that evokes a sense of the familiar within your spirit. Even the short temperedness, lack of patience or being unwilling to forgive, are all things that are deep in our psyche, maybe things we have to work on in this incarnation.

So if we are the proverbial doubting Thomas, can we like Thomas in the bible, know that deep in our subconscious mind where all knowledge of our past lives is stored, touch some inner centerpiece that will help us arrive at that awareness that this is real and not a figment of our imagination?

It is good to both question and doubt because then we can arrive at our own answers to the questions that we have swirling around in our heads. It is not always easy to swallow what someone else has experienced. We need to have our own understanding of what it is we are searching for and then begin the journey to enlightenment that comes with that search. Because reincarnation is such a controversial topic, especially among main line Christians, you have to be totally sure that you understand this from your own perspective. I could share my personal beliefs till I'm blue in the face, but until it begins to resonate within you then you will always question and doubt if it is real.

Chapter Forty Five

We respond to that small inner voice that tells us to be still, to listen and observe the outside stimuli that stirs up memories and remembrances of something we can't quite catch. We know its right there on the edge of our sub consciousness, just out of reach of our recall. It's like trying to remember a word or a name that is on the tip of your tongue, frustrating because we can see the word in our mind's eye but can't get it out into our vocabulary. During each lifetime we catch fleeting glimpses of what it is we remember and where we have seen that particular place or person before. As we go through our lifetime we begin to ask ourselves where have I heard that sound before, or where I have smelt that smell before, or when did I do this before. It's not something someone told us to remember; rather it is something we have come to acknowledge and become aware of within our own heart and mind. That's what is so wonderful about our journeys and our learning. Each time we come back to this plane of existence we bring a small part of who we were in our past lives. It's not just one moment that we remember or recall, but a series of moments that make up who and what we are and what we are meant to accomplish in this lifetime.

One of Annette's messages that came through very clearly as I write this is, "If there is nothing after this life, then how come so many people are not only writing books about it but having personal encounters with loved ones who have crossed over"? The contact is real and valid, and just because you personally have not had the experience does not make it null and void for those that have. Some people no matter what you say or how you share your connection with the other side will say it's not possible, that it cannot possibly happen that spirits can contact you from beyond the grave. Annette states that something as simple as opening your mind and heart to the possibility is all it takes. This is what happened to me, messages I couldn't deny, and contact that was as real as the nose on my face. As I sit here and write I realize that so many people who read this will wonder if what I am saying could possibly be true.

I am not trying to convince anyone to accept as truth what I believe, it is something that I had questioned and struggled with for many years. It wasn't until I met my cousin Maggie in England in 2007 that my beliefs began a subtle change as I became privileged to be the recipient of an amazing gift, contact from my child who had died in 1975.

Those early messages that started coming through from Annette, made my heart jump in my chest because I knew from the content of those messages that Maggie was sharing with me, this truly was my daughter speaking to me from beyond the grave. Over the next seven years the messages have been consistent and spoke of things that Maggie had no way of knowing. How could she have possibly known the things she shared with me unless she was indeed receiving this information from my daughter Annette?

Just to give you an idea of the type of personal message I get nowadays, I would like to share with you a recent message I received from Annette via Maggie. Recently I shared a poem I found on face book about how special daughters are and I wrote in the subject line that I had two wonderful daughters. Well, Maggie sent me this message from Annette where she asked her to remind me that I had three wonderful daughters not two, and that she was upset that I would not include her in that statement. Something done so unintentionally yet here she was calling me out on it and reminding me in no uncertain terms that I did indeed have three wonderful daughters. You can't make this stuff up!!!!!
Chapter Forty Six

Before I do a reading I ask Annette to bless the person I will be reading for, and to open my heart and soul to receive the messages they need to hear. Consequently I have had some very beautiful things happen as I begin to do a tarot card reading for a client. It never fails to awe and amaze me that I am able to do what I do, and every time I do a reading it humbles me to be a small part of the healing process I see begin to happen for the client.

A reading I did recently was a first for me. I had never done a reading on Skype but I was certainly willing to try and see what would happen. A young lady asked me to do her reading via Skype, as she lived in another state and wanted me to do a reading for her, and so I said yes. We set up a time and date to do it. On the day I was scheduled to do this reading I did my usual preparation, praying and meditating and placing protection around the space I would be reading her. I wasn't to sure how it would work via a computer. My curiosity was piqued to see if spirit would come in through the computer. I knew as long as I could see her face and talk to her in real time, it would be pretty much the same as having someone sitting across the table from me, but until we actually did the reading I wasn't one hundred percent sure if it would be the same.

Before we began the reading I had this strong sense of an older woman holding an infant in her arms and rocking it back and forth. From previous readings when I had had this same imagery I knew it was someone who had a miscarriage and the woman holding the baby could be her grandmother. I asked the client if she had had a miscarriage and she said no, I then explained to her what I was seeing and she said that her mom had had a miscarriage and that it was probably her grandmother who was holding the baby. I told her it was a little boy, and to let her mom know the baby was with her mother on the other side. Her grandfather was the next person who came through. He was rough and gruff with a heart of gold. She told me that I had described him to a "T". He was head of the union in his place of work and was very gruff but loved his family dearly. He just wanted her to know that her grandma and grandpa were together on the other side, at peace. Her grandma had passed before she was a year old, but she knew she watched over her, and her grandma confirmed that for her.

As the reading continued a young lady came through who told me she had died very quickly and that she was my client's best friend, in fact they were soul sisters. She shared with me that she had died very quickly after being diagnosed with cancer and wanted to thank my client for being her friend and confidant. Many words were exchanged between them as healing took place, and a friendship was restored and renewed once again. Zoe was the young lady's name and she wanted to reassure her friend that she had never left her and was always around her watching over her.
Chapter Forty Seven

Another reading that was especially memorable for me was a repeat client who came back after just six weeks for another reading. This second reading was dominated by her son who had crossed over and only came through at the end of her last reading. He had many things he wanted to tell her that he wasn't able to share in her first reading. He died very young from heart problems and wanted his mom to know how sorry he was for all the pain she had experienced during his growing up years. He apologized for all the crazy things he had done, and told her that as they grew up when he and his younger brother got into trouble he always blamed everything on his brother. His mom chuckled at that one and said she knew he did that. He told her he wanted her to know how much he appreciated and validated all his parents had done for him, and was sorry that they had to watch him die in a hospital room.

His fiancé at the time of his death was overcome with grief when she saw him in his bed attached to all the tubes, and was told he wasn't going to make it. He said he saw her as she collapsed onto the floor when she first saw him. He wanted her to know he would always love her and be with her. I can only imagine how devastated she must have felt at that time. Here she was looking forward to living her life with the person she loved, and in a flash it was all changed and her life changed drastically as she saw the man she loved in a hospital bed and knew he was dying and wasn't going to be a part of the future they had planned together.

Shortly after the visit from his mom I read for a young girl named Becky. I wasn't aware that she was the fiancée of the young man in the reading above. At the end of the reading she told me who she was and that she was disappointed that he hadn't come through for her. He actually had come through, only I didn't pick up on it until after she had left. What happened is her fiancé kept saying, from the other side, that he was her first husband, and wanted her to know that. I asked her to remember one of the insistent questions I asked her during her reading. Had she been married before and was her current marriage actually her second marriage? She adamantly said no. I kept getting a first husband message from the entity from the other side.

Her saying no blocked me from going any further, she had no idea why I was asking that question and, as I said earlier, it wasn't till after she left that I got the message loud and clear. I sent her an e-mail and explained what happened, but I never heard back from her again.

Postscript: Becky came for a second reading

During her second reading Philip came through and told her that he saw her crumble to the floor when she came into his room in the hospital and saw all the tubes attached to his body. She told me they were planning on getting married and had already chosen their rings and the venue for their reception. He was drawing me a circle by his neck and when I told Becky this she told me she had put his wedding ring on a chain around his neck before they buried him.
Chapter Forty Eight

Today I went out to lunch with a very dear friend and we started to discuss the contents of this book. She shared with me after much discussion, that she is not sure if she can believe in reincarnation, but likes the thought that you can choose to come back again to live another lifetime. I reminded her that the choice is ours about whether we come back or not, and that a decision like that would only be made once you have shed this earthly body and your soul has moved on. I believe the block to accepting reincarnation comes from trying to understand it with our earthly body and mind, not realizing that it all changes once we cross over.

She asked a very valid question and that is, "When do you know or do you ever know that you are finished reincarnating?" I have recently had the privilege of speaking with a doctor of hypnotherapy who has written books and led seminars on exactly this topic. He says that you make the choice to come back or not, to return here for another lifetime. Even though I know Annette told me this was my last incarnation and that we would be together for eternity in Paradise, my curiosity, of which I have an abundance, questions and wants to know that if I decided that I wanted to come back again, would I be able to? Annette tells me to have faith and believe in what she is telling me as she has insider information, so I bow to her wisdom and knowledge and will just have to wait and see.

I have been told many times by different people that I am an old soul who has been here many times before. I do feel that sense within that I have been this way many, many, times in the past, and that this time I am fulfilling what my life's goal has been. I sense completeness in my spirit, an awareness that this time around I am doing what I was being prepared to do during all my previous reincarnations. All the wisdom I have been shown has been for me to wake up to my giftedness and claim it and use it for the good of others and in service to others.

I ask you to stop close your eyes and think about this question, "If death meant just leaving the stage of living long enough to change your costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down your pace of living and savor every moment or would you want time to speed up so you could leave this life and begin a new one? The answer you give tells you whether or not you want to come back right now to live another lifetime.

I personally have had too many moments of contacting spirits on the other side for me to say I do not believe in what I do. What I will say is I still do not understand or can explain step by step, how I do what I do. It is a holy and reverent moment when a spirit breaks through from the other side during a reading. When a loved one steps through the veil from the other side, to contact their loved one, who has come for a reading, the psychic hotline opens. It is that healing moment when the client realizes that indeed the message is true, death is not the end of our connection with one another. This is an awesome and humbling moment for me as a medium.

Today when I spoke to Maggie she shared a confirming message about what I do. She told me that Annette had contacted her once again and was giving her messages after being quiet for the past few months. I find it interesting that now I am getting messages sent by her to Maggie and messages that she is giving me herself. Maggie said that after she sensed Annette in the room with her she also got the image of a lovely little girl dancing, running and playing. She was really happy and cheerful. She said that somehow this little girl made her understand, just sort of know, that in some way that is unexplainable, the name Julie connects to her. She said you'll know what this means, meaning me. I am called to share this with her mum and to let her know that Julie is happy and carefree on the other side with her cousin Annette.

Maggie went on to say that again this morning she kept seeing pictures of my sister Kris and asked me if there was anything going on with her or did this time of year that have sad memories for her. I answered Maggie and told her that this time of year brings back many memories. Our mother died November 8th and Julie died November 21st. Maggie asked me why do I have a sort of "strange feeling" that Kris needs support and people around her; she sort of needs holding up? Maggie was right on as usual, Kris was certainly going through a rough time between her own health issues and those of her son in law. It all has taken a toll on Kris; she needs the love and support of the people around her to help her get through all the emotional upheaval.

I am so thrilled that Maggie is once again back on the psychic network with me and open to sharing messages from the other side. She is an amazing lady with a tremendous gift and capacity to get messages and share them with the people they are for. I feel so blessed and special that she shares her giftedness with me and blesses my life.
Chapter Forty Nine

When our loved ones are ready to come back and live another incarnation they get to choose the events and experiences they want to encounter this time around. It's not like you can make the choice and say, I want Andrea Bochelli to be my father and Celine Dion to be my mother. Unfortunately that's not how it works. We choose the events we want to experience this time around and the family who will journey with us and with that choosing comes the place and time when you will be born again. I mention born again because during my Holy Roller period I considered myself a born again Christian, not really thinking about what those words actually meant. I could explain them rationally and say my life was changed drastically when I became a born again Christian filled with the Holy Spirit, with a new life transformed by the spirit, but think about that for a moment. What was I really proclaiming? If as I understand it, I was proclaiming that in fact I was born again, a new creation in the spirit, then wasn't I actually talking about reincarnation? Even though I was still me, I had somehow, through the working of the spirit, been born again and made a new creation. That's what reincarnation is all about, being born again, made a new creation through the grace of God and the spirit, to live a life that would be a vehicle of grace and wisdom.

Nicodemus was a Pharisee, a High Priest who arranged to meet Jesus late at night so no one could see him speaking with this new Rabbi (John 3:1-12). He had heard of Jesus the new Rabbi and was curious about his message and wanted to speak with him himself. He asked Jesus what it would take to be his follower and Jesus' response to him was that he would have to be born again of water and the spirit. Nicodemus said, "How can one be born again, you can't go back into your mother's womb and be born a second time." He didn't get it and neither do many of us. The concept of having to be born again speaks of reincarnation and coming back again to this earthly plane, a new creation in God/Spirit. Do you remember Jesus' response to him? It was very profound. He states that unless one is born of water and the spirit you cannot enter the kingdom of God.

Think about that statement for just a minute, unless you are born again of water and the spirit you cannot enter the Kingdom of God/Spirit. Being born again implies very simply that you have to somehow become a baby and grow and learn all the things you thought you had already learned. Was Jesus fully cognizant of the fact that these words would be read two thousand years later, and be open to misunderstanding and discussion by many about what he actually meant? Is the Kingdom of God/Spirit our final destination after learning all the wisdom and lessons we need to before we can attain any kind of equality with God? Is this another name for Paradise, because being in the Kingdom of God would be like being in Paradise?
Chapter Fifty

We have all heard or read the story of Helen Keller, the woman who was born blind yet made a tremendous difference in her world and ours, despite her handicap. What she states in the quote below is something that should resonate within everyone's being. Helen Keller, who had been born blind, knew something that most of us struggle to learn and accept most of our lives. A truth about what awaits us on the other side. She stated.

"Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know, because in that other room I shall be able to see." Helen Keller.

For those of us that are not blind, or deaf, or speech impaired, handicapped or unable to walk there should be a tremendous comfort and hope in what she says. It has to be an amazing piece of knowledge to the person who will leave this plane with those disabilities, to know that on the other side they will be healthy and whole. Helen Keller states with certainty and without a shadow of doubt, that when she crosses over, she will be whole and well, and as she states, "able to see".

This makes me think back to the moment when Annette passed and her beautiful little face went back to the way it was before she had cancer. What a comfort that was, witnessing that happening as I stood at the side of her bed. And now, reading this quote from Helen Keller, I know my little girl is whole and healthy, not disfigured at all on the other side, or riddled with cancer. Her beautiful spirit lives on along with the wisdom she has gained on this journey.

Our loved ones do not carry their illnesses or handicaps over to the other side, so if they lost limbs to illness or an accident or in the war, that isn't who they are when they cross over.

I have a dear friend who had both his legs amputated at the knee, due to diabetes and other complications. After he died I had the most vivid dream of him, he was standing on his own two legs and looking healthy and whole, it was such a comfort to me and I cherish that memory of him in that dream. I know now that he came through to show me he was healthy and whole and to affirm that he was okay and well on the other side.

I am sure that your loved ones have come through to you in your dreams and you wondered if it was real or not. They usually give a clear message that lets you know they are fine and happy, along with the message that they want you to get on with your life. Easier said than done in some situations I know, but, their life did not end with their crossing over, and they want you to know that.

Annette had to wait 32 years in my time, before contacting me because she knew I wasn't ready for anything like that. She was so right. I would have shied away from any mention of psychic phenomenon as being tainted with occultism or being non-Christian, as many people do today. For me doing what I do now is so far removed from who I was, that I sometimes stand and shake my head in wonderment at what has happened to me.

In recent years there has been much talk about mediums, there has been numerous TV shows and appearances all over the country by the more popular ones. It's sad to hear of someone trying to get a reading with one of these psychics and being told there's a four year wait to get a reading, and then it's just so expensive. I can certainly understand people being skeptical with things like that, but that's not the norm. Not all people involved in this line of work are famous, but they are every bit as good as those who are out there promoting themselves and making the big bucks. Many psychics have been given a bad rap and called phonies because of people's lack of understanding what it is they really do. Yet there are some really gifted ones that you never hear about unless you are fortunate enough to find them. It's sad to me to see that some people are so closed off from what is happening around them that they miss out on some really beautiful moments. As I have said numerous times you don't need to go to a medium to feel your loved ones around you, they let you know they are there in many different ways.

Some people are so fearful that they have this notion that if they go to a medium for a reading they will be tainted with a negative spirit or be exposed to the occult or, God forbid, some people think that what I and many other psychics do is satanic. Talking to the spirits of those who have died is just not something their religion tells them is real or God given, yet I hear people saying they prayed to their dead mother or loved one and got an answer to their prayer. How did they get an answer unless they had a dialogue? Isn't that the same thing?

They have no problem believing that Jonah was swallowed by a whale or that Jesus walked on water during a raging storm at sea, or that he appeared to his followers after he had died and ate and spoke with them. They can believe that angels spoke to people throughout the bible and were given messages from these angelic beings. It is not amazing to them that people had visions, interpreted dreams, raised the dead, saved a nation, and followed a star to the birthplace of Jesus, and in the words of the Nicene Creed resurrection from the dead and life everlasting. I know without a shadow of doubt that I walk in the light, and have no association with anything black magic or demonic. My gifts are given to me by the spirit and I will continue to use them for the good.
Chapter Fifty One

I recently read for two sisters, Lynn and Meryl, who had originally booked separate readings but this time they decided they wanted to be read together. During the reading, Meryl's husband came through who had obviously crossed over fairly recently. Meryl was in the process of selling their house so she could move closer to her family. They had no children and his wife was still young. After telling her that he was sorry to have left her so soon, he asked her if she would keep his books and his favorite chair, which made her tear up.

She shared a story with me about the night after his funeral. She couldn't sleep, so she sat in his chair and had a very vivid dream where he told her to get one of his books and read it. He wrote poetry and also collected books of poetry. So she said she got up and went to his bookcase and just stood there and said to herself; which one am I supposed to read? She went on to say she stood there with her hand hovering over the books and finally picked one out and just randomly opened it.

She looked at the poem on the left hand side of the open pages and thought to herself this has nothing to do with me. Then her eyes drifted over to the right hand page and as she read this poem she felt his presence and she said his peace and strength seemed to come into her. He said many other things to her during the reading, about selling the house, and moving on with her life.

Her sister Lynn sat quietly listening to her sisters reading, when their mother came through and placed a helmet on Lynn's head. When I told them this they both chuckled because Lynn was apparently always falling off her bike as a child and her mother always made her wear a helmet. What better way for their mother to introduce herself to her daughters than to use something that only they would know. Their father also came through during this reading telling his girls, as he called them, that he was always around them and is so proud of the beautiful women they are. I am deeply moved to be a spectator at these readings watching the interaction as spirit shares the messages or words that are coming through from the other side.
Chapter Fifty Two

In October 2013, when I had my first radio interview at a local radio station, I was a bit unsure of what to expect as I had never done anything like this before. What if I was asked to do a reading right there and then? Would I be able to do it? Then I realized my ego was getting in the way and I had to step aside and allow whatever was going to happen, happen. It was a heart rending experience, one in which I became aware once more how many hurting people there are out there looking for someone to tell them that their loved ones are still around them. They wanted someone to tell that their mother who had died from Alzheimer's knew they were there at the end of her life. Or the man whose wife had died recently wanted to know if she was still there with him only in a different way. The wife whose husband had died was overwhelmed with having to deal with all the things that must be done after the death of a loved one, wanting to know that she was not alone. Listening to their stories I again recognized that there are so many hurting and lonely people seeking comfort and assurance that Annette's message is true, that death is not the end.

I asked Annette what is the message for this book? It seemed to me that I have been rambling on and on about reincarnation a lot. Listening to what I hear her saying and sharing the absolute certainty I have received from my daughter, that not only is death not the end, but we get to come back and do it all over again in a different body, with different family dynamics, and different experiences, but with the same soul family. Our soul families are those we travel with through each incarnation.

So the mother who died suffering with Alzheimer's gets to come back again without this insidious disease and experience something different, maybe a life with no illness or catastrophic diseases. Maybe she will live a life of service to others who are struggling with Alzheimer's, or maybe a life of learning about herself. I would love for people to see reincarnation as a wonderful gift from our creator, not as a punishment or something that they dread happening. I truly understand the resistance to the idea of having to come back and do it all again, but if you can just get it through your head and stop thinking of it in human terms and accept that you come back into a different time and place to participate in another area of your own growth and understanding, then maybe you would begin to understand what a tremendously special and amazing gift you are being given.

It is an absolute blessing to come back and continue this journey that began eons ago, at the moment when you first came into being. One in which you are the participant and source of healing and renewing your own karma, being given the gift of returning again and again until you are in a state of perfection, able to be at one with your creator and the universe.

The bible states in Matthew four verse forty eight, "Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect". (Matthew 5:48 KJV). So the promise of perfection is there, and it is when we reach that perfection that we are in Paradise for all eternity. Remember it is not this human body that goes with you but your consciousness and your soul.
Chapter Fifty Three

What exactly constitutes perfection? Does it mean being like a saint and living a life filled with holiness and prayer and fasting and supplication? Does it mean never doing anything wrong or even slightly wrong, that could be looked on as not being perfect. Being the type of person who is always in an attitude of prayer, quoting scripture all the time, and not judging others? If so, then I have failed hopelessly along with many others. The perfection that we are called to has to do with becoming perfect in our oneness with the universe and with God, the Supreme Being. Reincarnation is the gift of the spirit to the people of God to help them strive and attain perfection. I know some people think it is impossible to be perfect and they are right, you become perfect through the grace and strength of the spirit and the gift of reincarnation. Being blessed with the means to return here and renew and strengthen the bond of oneness with the universe that is pure gift.

Annette tells me that this is a continual journey that is ongoing and enlightening, one in which we learn so much about who and what we are. I truly understand some people's reluctance and stubbornness in not wanting to contemplate or even think about coming back again. They are thinking in purely human terms and not in the reality of what the gift of reincarnation truly is. You don't return remembering all the pain and sorrow of the previous life that you lived, or with any memories of the happiness that you experienced. When you return you come back as a babe with no apparent memories of past life experiences, although for some children there are definitely moments as they grow older, when they know they have been here before. There have been many books written by accredited scientists who have interviewed young children who have strong memories of a pervious life they had lived. On the whole, we come back with a clean slate, ready to begin living a new life. I have heard of some people having moments of remembering when they hear a song or smell something that they know they have heard or been exposed to before, just can't remember or don't know where those fleeting thoughts come from. Or, they have gone somewhere and just know they have been there before, but don't remember ever being in that place.

I find it so awesome that spirit teaches and reveals so much to those who are open and willing to expand their mind and their reality. That is what being a medium is all about, being able to empty one's mind of all the stuff that has been filling our minds, all the chatter that tells us what to do and when to do it. Being able to become a vessel or messenger willing to be used by spirit so that those on the other side can send those messages, and allow you to peer through the veil and contact those on the other side. There is nothing dark or sinister in being able to pass on messages that come through during a reading. The opposite is true, it is full of light and love and comfort to those that are hearing from their loved ones again. These are messages of hope and healing, knowing that we continue after death, and that our consciousness lives on. As Annette has stated over and over again, death is not the end.

Chapter Fifty Four

Today I read for the daughter of a dear friend of mine, as I was doing the reading her little girl kept coming into the room and watching what I was doing. I could see she was fascinated and curious, she asked me how I do what I do.

I told her I honestly didn't know that it is a special gift given to some people so that they can help others on their journey here on earth. Her mom then shooed her out of the kitchen, but she came wandering back in for one reason or another until the reading was finished. Once she knew it was okay to stay in the kitchen she started asking me some really thoughtful questions which I found so fascinating, like: "What did the people I was seeing look like? Did they know she was there? Was her Uncle Dom one of the people that I saw"? All of the questions she was asking helped me to realize that I was being given a glimpse into what goes through people's minds when I am doing a reading for them.

She wanted to know that if she tried really hard would she be able to see people who had died. Then she screwed her eyes tightly and concentrated on trying to "see". I don't think she knew how much she blessed me with the awareness again of how special is this gift I have been given, and how I am to use it for others. As I was leaving she asked me if I would do a reading for her, and I told her I could not do that without her mom's permission and I would need a special deck of cards geared to children. I did promise her that the next time I came to see her mom I would bring those cards with me, and do a reading for her. Her total acceptance of what I was doing with no fear or judgment really made my day!!!!

As I was talking to my friend Maggie on Skype today Annette came through and asked me why I hadn't done any writing on the book for a few days. I told her I had to be inspired and motivated to write. Her response was to tell me that I am inspired every time I do a reading for someone and bring their loved ones through for them to connect with. It was almost as if I was being reminded that what I do is for others and that I am to share that story in this book.

Just as the little girl I mentioned above, was so accepting and curious about what happens when I do a reading, so are many others who have yet to pluck up the courage to believe and open themselves up for a new and wonderful experience of peeking through the veil to the other side and connecting with their loved ones who have passed.

Chapter Fifty Five

I want to spend some time talking about skeptics and how much they challenge those of us in the field of metaphysics to be even better than we think we are. Skeptics are needed in every profession, not just in the field of psychic phenomenon, but in the religious field, the medical field, everything in our lives that govern and direct us, because they help keep us on our toes. I for one can certainly relate to the questions they ask about the validity of the work I do because there was a time in my life when I asked the same ones. I welcome their skepticism because it makes me dig deeper into my own inner journey and forces me to think more deeply about my gifts and how I am using them.

The question I am asked the most is, is it necessary to believe in psychics to have loved ones come through in a reading? I have never fully understood this question because if you are meeting with a psychic for a reading that implies some small amount of belief on the clients part, otherwise why bother? My sense is that a small part of them wants to believe that what I and my colleagues do is valid and real, and if they are ready to receive a reading then the other part of them that says it can't possibly be true, is being quieted and subdued.

Remember the commercial from a few years back with the man who has a white angel on one shoulder and the red devil on the other, trying to decide which way he should choose to go. Both the angel and the devil figures are trying to persuade him that they are right, and that their way is the right way. Well its pretty similar to the questions we ask regarding mediums and psychics, trying to decide if what we have been told all along about psychics being in league with the devil or the occult, is true.

We fear what we do not understand and unfortunately listen to people who feed that fear. There is nothing to fear in having a reading done by a psychic, only fear itself. Each person needs to make up their own mind and not be swayed by other people's opinions.

I have found that people, who are negative or have negative things to say about mediums or tarot card readers, do it for the sense of control they want to have over others. When I do a reading for such a person I tell them you do not have to believe in me that is not a prerequisite to having a positive reading. Hopefully my gift will speak for itself. A small dose of skeptism is healthy. You need to question and discern for yourself what it is you are looking for and hope to hear in a reading, without any reservations that what you are doing is wrong. I do tell my clients that I cannot order up on demand special people they are hoping to connect with, but the ones that do come through during their reading are the ones they "needed" to hear from, not necessarily the ones they "wanted" to hear from.

Along that line I share the story of the woman I read for a while back. Before we even began the session I kept getting the name of a man that was attached to her, David. When I told her this before we began the reading, she questioned why he would be the first person to come through for her as she did not have a very good relationship with him while he was alive. It appeared that this man was her uncle and wanted to be the person to usher in other family members for her. He didn't remember the strain in their relationship; he just wanted to let her know that he was still part of her soul family. It turned out to be an amazing reading for her and one she has shared the details of with many others. So, if and when you go for a reading, have an open mind and heart, ready to greet and welcome the unexpected.

Following is a testimony given by someone who read my first book and wrote me this message which supports what I have been saying.

"Grief is a very strong emotion and when you realize that you really will meet your loved ones, you really will later on, knowing that they're fine and in a beautiful, incredible and divine Universe and that the love between you is still there, then it just takes the edge off that grief. There is so much comfort in the book because you can 'feel Annette' when you read it. You can feel a light energy coming from the book and you know that your loved one still exists. There is so much comfort in that, even though we miss them, we want to hug them and want to be with them. Finally, it is very important to stay open because the statistics tell us that one in four people have some kind of sign, so stay open to the sign because the sign is that your loved one is telling you "I still exist, I still love you. I know you need to grieve but have a good life", and you will".

I could not have put it any more clearly or beautifully, so for you skeptics out there think long and hard about what you are missing out on by arbitrarily saying this connection to the other side cannot happen. Enough people have experienced their loved ones during a reading that it just can't be wrong or a sin or not ordained by the spirit. Our consciousness lives on whether you choose to believe it or not, and someday, even if you don't believe, you will get some sort of message or contact from the other side because they want nothing more than to convince you that they still exist and that they still love you.
Chapter Fifty Six

So how do you prepare yourself for a reading? Most people go to a psychic because they are hoping to connect with a loved one who has crossed over. What I would do is to have the person I am hoping will come through, in my thoughts and pray to them to make themselves known during the reading. As the reader and medium I will share with you what I do, it is really quite simple, I "zone out" and mentally see myself going from the left brain to the right which is the intuitive side of the brain. For about an hour before I do a reading or readings, I will do this, and not consciously think about what it is I do. Once the reading starts the information just seems to come. I don't force it or invent it. It just happens. Sometimes I am as surprised at the messages and information as the person I am doing the reading for.

A recent reading I did was for a very young girl, a junior in high school. Her father had called and made the appointment for her, which I thought was very open and trusting of him. She came after school and before she came I got a strong motherly presence getting ready to come in so I thought that maybe her mother had passed. When she sat down at the table, and I had her sign the release form for me, I asked her if her mom was still here and she said yes. I told her before we started that I had a strong mother connection to her, so the person that wanted to come through was someone that she looked on as a mother figure in her life. It turned out to be her grandmother who used a special term of endearment so she would know it was her. It was very touching to watch this young girl connect again with the grandmother that she obviously had adored, and realize that what I do is real. Her reaction was a much needed validation, and I am so thankful that she came to me for a reading that I hope made her feel close to her beloved grandmother.

Another reading I did was for a repeat customer, one whose first reading with me was a mind blowing experience for her. Before she came I went into my usual routine and prepared myself for the reading. I am always careful when doing repeat readings that I let the client know I do not remember their first reading with me or any of the details, so it is almost like doing it again for the first time. This one though, as we got started, I did remember who had come through for her as the same people came through again. She was thrilled and delighted to once more hear from her grandparents her aunt and her uncle.

Switching gears, let's get back to how the clients prepare themselves when they come for a reading. I know that many of my clients come to see me with a desire and hope that the one person they would love to connect with is the one that comes through in their reading. When that happens, boy are they happy, and it shows on their faces. I know how I feel when Annette comes through for me and tells me things, so I can imagine it is the same for a client who desires that one last visit or connection. My advice to anyone who is thinking of going for a reading is to go with no expectations, just let the universe do its thing and accept with thanks anything that blesses and comforts you. Be attentive to what the reader is saying and try to validate what they are telling you with more than a yes or no.

I remember the first time my sister went to see a psychic, I told her to be very careful that she didn't give any free information. So she did exactly what I said, she answered every question and statement with a yes or no answer and the psychic told me afterwards that she couldn't read her because she was so closed. By saying that to my sister I had ruined her reading and given her a bad experience .My sister said she was afraid she was going to give something away and so only did what I told her to do. Sadly that was the last time she went to one until I convinced her to go again a few years later. This time I said nothing to her and she had not only a great experience but also a great reading. My advice is when you schedule a reading for yourself, go with an open mind and an open heart, and let whatever is going to happen, happen. Validate and appreciate the energy it takes for a loved one to come through for you. Any expectations you might have should be put aside, don't listen to what others advise you to do during a reading, just go with whatever happens during the reading.
Chapter Fifty Seven

I would like to share a very interesting conversation I had with a couple of my friends recently. We were talking about my book, "Annette Opens the Door", and the story it shared. They began asking me questions about when did I first become aware that I was psychic? How did it affect my growing up years? And the big one for me, which I have never really thought about; At what age did I know that what I was seeing was a spiritual being and not a real human being. Very valid questions, certainly ones I had never even thought about. Those particular questions were ones I had never even entertained so when they asked me those questions, it took me by surprise.

I had to stop and think before I could answer them in a way that made sense. I began by trying to answer their first question which was, "When did I know I was psychic"? I shared with them that I began to realize I was different from my friends and school mates when I was about eight years old. Because I have always seen spirits I assumed everyone else did. I had no idea that I was different from other kids until an incident happened when I was about seven or eight years old. It was the first time I got into trouble when I told for telling a friend that her gran (grandma here in the states) was in the playground with us. She told me very matter of factually that her gran had died, so there was no way she could be in the playground with us. That's when I said to her that she was standing right there beside her. She ran into the school building and told one of the teachers that I was scaring her by telling her that her gran was in the playground, I didn't know her gran had died a year ago.

I realized then that I was seeing things that others couldn't and didn't want to see. As you can probably guess my mother got called to come to the school where she was informed by the headmistress that I had a vivid imagination and that she should have a talk with me about my fantasies and that I needed to live in the real world. I remember my mother telling me that I couldn't do that again, tell someone that I was seeing their dead relatives, because not everyone understood or accepted my gift. From that moment on I was very careful not to say anything to my friends about what I was seeing. It was hard for me because I couldn't understand why my friends wouldn't want to know that their family members who had died were there in that school yard or classroom with them.

Then at around thirteen or fourteen, I had this tremendous epiphany that I was seeing spiritual beings and not flesh and blood humans. WOW! That was quite a revelation for me, I was seeing spirits of people who had crossed over and they were asking me to pass on messages to their loved ones. I did do that a couple of times with my friends but then started to get teased and made fun of so I stopped and closed down that part of me that was able to connect to the other side. I remember telling my mother about it and she just smiled at me and said when the time was right it would come back or reappear.

As I look back, one thing I realize now is that my mother was psychic. She would read tea leaves for friends and neighbors and always amazed me when she looked into a tea cup and saw all these things she told them. She was not a saint but she certainly knew a lot about life and living.

It took almost fifty five years for me to once more connect and become one with my gift of being a medium. I could now allow it to come to the forefront of my consciousness and be known again in such a way that I could not deny they were real and to be used, I was just beginning to learn how. Up until the moment I didn't want anyone to know what I could do but the universe once more had other plans and so I came out of the closet so to speak. I had glimmerings of what I was seeing from time to time but always ignored or denied the fact that I was gifted in any special way.

Every time that I share my gifts with others, I am again reminded that the universe has plans for me that I am to participate in, even if I don't always understand why they happen. I sometimes wish I could see or know the big picture of everything the universe has in store for me, but then it would spoil the magical quality of the journey. It's still something that I find amazingly awesome to be a part of someone else's connection with their loved one who has crossed over. When I am allowed to be part of this moment in time for these people, I am humbled and awed at what is happening. I am privileged to see the emotion that happens when the connection is made by the person requesting the reading, and they realize that this is true, and real, and that they really can hear once again from their loved one. The universe sings.

If you think about it, it's really an amazing thing that happens during a reading. Spirits make themselves known and, not only that, they have been waiting for this moment when their loved one would make themselves available for this communication to happen. The energy it takes for them to break through the veil from the other side and allow themselves to be known by me as the reader, and their loved one who has come for the reading, is not something to be taken lightly. It is an awesome moment and it just goes to show you that indeed love never ends.

Does there ever come a time when we stop grieving the loss of a loved one? When someone we love dies a part of us dies with them. It's a hole inside our hearts that never goes away. We will always remember them and miss them. Birthdays, the anniversaries of their death, holidays and special occasions are all times that they are very much in our conscious mind, bringing back to our awareness how much they are missed and loved.

A reading can be very beneficial to the person seeking a connection to their loved ones on the other side. There are so many ways that they continue to connect to us. You only have to think of the everyday happenings and things, such as music, smells, foods, persons, places and things that affect us and bring back strong memories of not only our loved ones, but also the good times that you were blessed to be a part of.

Death ends our earthly existence but as I have said many times before, our consciousness, that part of us that lives each life time, goes forward. So our physical death only ends this current lifetime, the body which we have used during this lifetime dies and returns dust to dust, ashes to ashes. Our consciousness never dies but continues to live on, that is why the loving connections can be made by someone gifted to see through the veil to the other side.
Chapter Fifty Eight

Today as I thought about starting to write some more for this book, I began thinking that I should share some more readings that I have been blessed to be a part of; I know I have said it before, and I will say it again and again. I am humbled when people come to me and allow me to be the intermediary between them and their loved ones on the other side. I believe that the spirits on the other side are just waiting for their loved one to come into the room, sit down, and open themselves to listen to what's being said as the reading begins. I watch their faces as their loved ones come through. The look they have on their faces is priceless and defies any attempt to describe it. Once their loved one says something that they know is personally meant for them it is then that they can start to enter into the reading with me.

One person that I read this past week was with a young woman who was searching for peace and acceptance in her life. She had had many losses and really wanted to hear from her family on the other side. To me it was amazing to see that not only did her parents come through but a favorite aunt. She told me this was the aunt she had prayed to for guidance, because she was feeling so down in the dumps and missing her family. She thought about going to a psychic but had no idea who to go to so had looked online and found my website. She said she sensed her aunt guiding her to come to me and encouraged her in her desire to have a reading done. Her aunt was the most vocal of her visitors that came through that day and mentioned things that were truly personal between her and this young lady. She told her that she had always been her favorite niece and for her to remember all the good times they had shared together. She also told her that she was at peace and not suffering anymore and was watching over her. Her grandparents also came through for her, as well as a friend that had died very young. These were all very positive and affirming messages that confirmed for her that there is more after we die. I later received an email from this young woman after she read my book, "Annette Opens the Door". It was very positive, as she said she could not put the book down until she finished reading the whole thing. She wanted me to know that her aunt whom she had sensed was guiding her to come to me had the name of Martha which was Annette's confirmation name, which I mention in the book, and it was also my husband Ed's mother's name.

My next client was a woman who had lost her daughter very recently, and she wanted to know if her daughter was at peace and not suffering anymore. She told me that her daughter lived her life in a wheelchair and was in a home for special needs adults, which was where she lived. Her daughter had not been feeling well and by the time they did tests on her they discovered she had cancer throughout her whole body. As she lay dying, her mom, my client, was with her, and trying to explain to her not to be afraid. Her grandparents were going to be waiting for her. She tried to comfort and reassure her daughter that she was going to go and be with her grandparents where she would be at peace. She did not want her to be afraid. She knew her daughter was scared so she was trying to make her understand what was happening to her, and as she did, she told me that two orbs came into the room and settled on her daughter's bed. The client told me that she just knew that this was her parents come to help her daughter cross over.

At that moment she knew it was okay to say goodbye and let her daughter go. What an amazing story of hope and love, her daughter did come through in her reading and she came through as a whole, healthy, young woman standing on her own two feet and able to walk. She thanked her mom for all she had done for her through the years and for being there with her at the end of her life. One other thing her daughter asked me to remind her mom about the necklace that her dad put on her at her wake. It's a long story, but in reminding her mom about the necklace and what it represented, she was able to assure her mom from the other side that she was the only mother she had, and that was all that mattered. What an amazing parting gift from her daughter to give to her mother, a comfort and awareness that even though her parents had divorced and her father remarried, she wanted her mom to know that she knew all that she had sacrificed and done for her.
Chapter Fifty Nine

One of my recent readings was with a grieving father whose 19 year old son had been killed in a motorcycle accident two months ago. My heart went out to him, as he related what happened to his only son on that fateful day. I could tell he had many questions about what I do and was hoping that I would be able to connect him once more to his son. I had to tell him that I could not guarantee his son would come through for him during the reading, nor could I foretell his future and that I was not a fortune teller.

As I began laying down the cards that he had chosen, his grandmother and grandfather came through for him along with an uncle on his mother's side. They had some very affirming messages for him which he said were definitely things his grandparents would have said. His dad also came through and told him that his son was with him and was safe and at peace. As the reading progressed I could tell he was waiting for his son to come through. He kept telling me how close they had been and how his death had left a gaping hole in his life which he didn't know how to cope with. I am not a counselor, so I told him that he should seek out a grief counselor to help him deal with all the ramifications of his son's passing.

The reading went on for almost two hours as he needed to talk about his feelings and what was going on his life. I was beginning to wrap things up when his son came through and told his dad that he was at peace and that he (the dad) needed to move on with his life. The father immediately started to ask questions about his son's accident. He wanted to know why his son died that day and what caused the accident. What took me by surprise was the answer that his son gave him. He told his dad that knowing what happened that day isn't going to change anything, he said none of that was important now, what was done is done.

Another time that touched me deeply was a reading I did for this family that came to see me: a mother, father and their 25 year old son. After telling them what I do and don't do, the reading began. As soon as I opened the door to the other side a young male came through and kept saying the word "poppy". I asked the family if that meant anything to them and the father got a bit emotional and said that was what his son who had died, called him. Being able to recognize who was coming through by their son using a term of endearment that he used for his dad, I was able to pass on some messages that seemed to comfort them. Suddenly the young man on the other side started addressing the son who had come with them. He wanted his brother to know how much he loved him and appreciated all he did for him. I was touched by this message to his brother when the entity on the other side said he was his other half. I looked at the son sitting with his parents and asked him if the young male on the side was his twin. He told me he knew what his brother meant and he said yes, they were twins. That explained to me why he was there with his parents, he was also hoping to hear from his brother, his other half, who had been his friend for his whole life until he died in a tragic accident at the age of twenty.

This twin son had died in a tragic car accident, the girl that was with him was not injured, and she walked away without a scratch. His parents wanted to know if he had suffered and he told them he had died instantly on impact, which seemed to give them some comfort.

I'd like to share another reading I did for a woman who heard about me through a friend and wanted a reading. I went through the same procedure with her telling her that I am not a fortune teller and cannot foretell her future, but that whatever came out in the cards, I would certainly tell her. That being said, once again, someone was very anxious to come through immediately. It was a young man that turned out to be her son who had recently died. He just wanted his mom to know he was with his grandparents on the other side and was at peace and in no more pain. I could see the sorrow leave her face as she heard these words from her beloved son. Also a dear friend of hers came through who had recently died and was her best friend. She passed from breast cancer and wanted to thank her friend for being with her and caring for her the way she did by being her friend.

It seems as if parents who have lost a child are being led to me for readings. I believe this is because their grief and sorrow is something I can relate to. It is such a blessing to be part of this whole movement of helping to heal families' grief. I believe all I have been through was to prepare me for this very important ministry.
Chapter Sixty

Does it really matter what our religion is or what our particular beliefs tell us to believe? It's what we believe in our hearts to be the truth for us. Will we be asked by the great ascended master who is God or Spirit, what religion we practiced and believed in while in this incarnation? I believe we choose to experience all different forms of religion each time we return. It is man who invented and named religions, not God or Spirit. Organized religion was a way to explain the spirit of God that they believed in and to control people's lives. Our religious affiliation gives us a sense of comfort and belonging. Our human nature yearns to belong to something to feel a sense of purpose and a sense of being attached to something bigger than we are.

If we truly believed all that we are being told by our individual religions, then why do we fear death as the end of this existence that we are living? Every christen religion has this rosy colored story of what happens when we die. We go to heaven and spend eternity with our loved ones who have gone before us. Do you really believe that? Or is the fear from not being able to believe the story and fearing that death is death.

I hear so many people say, I just want to live long enough to see my children settled or my first grandchild born etc. etc. Then when these events happen they think of new ones. Why? We fear death and so try to prolong our life because we really do not have the absolute assurance that death is not this black hulking hole waiting to swallow us up into nothingness, never to be seen again or participate in any more wondrous encounters.

Our religions try to give us hope but if you listen to the message that is being proclaimed especially in the Jewish faith, it is that death is indeed the end. Funerals are the great sendoff, the great goodbye created by man that has been a great money maker for funeral homes. Can you imagine how funerals were performed years ago? It was bare bones compared to today. We spend fortunes on caskets that go into the ground, and for the deceased you have make up, hair dressing, clothes, flowers, wakes and then we come to the cemeteries that charge a small fortune to open a grave that you own so you can have your loved one buried. Then the headstone is another expense that adds to the cost of the burial. What about cremation which has become very popular because it is supposedly a cheaper way to bury your loved one. Here again, at the time you make the arrangements, you are shown expensive urns that hold our ashes. An urn, by the way, that no one will see once it is in the ground. To add insult to injury, you are charged an exorbitant amount of money to open a grave you own, to bury the casket or urn.

I have been told that the communion of saints is all the people who have gone before us in death and who wait for us to join them in this place called heaven. If this is true, then heaven has to be filled to overflowing with all the souls of those who have died and gone there from the beginning of time, which according to what I have come to understand, has been billions of years. So the next question is what or where is heaven? What does it mean to sit at the right hand of God? Who or what is God? If religion is man-made then what is faith? Have you ever asked yourself the question of why you need to believe the way you do? Is it necessary to have something or someone to believe in to make our lives worthwhile?

In the book of Revelation you can read what John was told about coming back again, or, what happens for those that have completed their journeys here. That's the meaning and purpose of reincarnation, to help us workout different moments in each lifetime to perfect our soul so as to be worthy to move on. It makes more sense to realize that when you die your soul goes on along with your consciousness to the next life, the next learning, the next karmic explosion. All anyone wants is to know that after living here on this earth for however long we are here, that there is more to learn and experience and that death is just the gateway to the next lifetime that we will have.

I truly do understand why, when people hear this message, they get upset and out of sorts, because they do not like the idea that they will come back here and do this all over again. The great news is that each one of us will get to choose what we want to experience in our next life, and, then get to pick our family and make choices for our karmic healing. This is where our soul family comes in, the people that we share these lifetimes with, who are with us always in some way. The negativity or blockages comes from the current life we are living. If it has been hard and full of pain and heartache, I can understand someone saying, "Why on earth would I have chosen this life, and why would I want to come back again"? We are sent here to learn karmic lessons and sometimes those lessons are very painful and heartbreaking, and sometimes they are joyful and full of light. It is what we choose for our current lifetime and what we choose to experience that helps wipe our karmic slate clean.

Annette is the one person that I look to and believe when she tells me about our many journeys and experiences and why they are so important for our immortal soul. One of her many messages to me was about our belief that we had to have all our ducks in a row to get into heaven. She chuckled as she explained that all we have to do is complete this lifetime that we were sent to experience, and then get ready for the next one whenever we are ready. There is no good or bad because all that we have done or said was all planned ahead of time and was a part of our life script for this lifetime. We place the words of condemnation or commendation on the actions that make up our lifetime. True, some of the things that are done are out and out wrong in the eyes of the law that govern this place where we live, which is why so much more attention is given to those actions we classify as bad or wrong. But there are just as many, if not more, good things done that you never hear about.

Annette says that we are all held accountable for our actions and have to review our life and see how our actions affected others for the good or the bad. All is chosen and all is pre-ordained, written in the book of life. We come back to wipe the slate clean and to begin anew our journey to wisdom and perfection. This message makes many people feel uncomfortable, to think they had anything to do with choosing the life they are living seems preposterous to them. So much so, that they will deny every mention of reincarnation. That way they do not have to take any responsibility for their lives and the way they have turned out.

It is also very easy to deny the reality of psychics or mediums and what they do. Even astrologers get lumped into that package of disbelief. What exactly is it they do not believe? What is it they are saying couldn't possibly be true or happening? It is hard for people to believe something they cannot control or be in charge of? Being out of control is uncomfortable. Even though the people that may make them feel this way are family, they want no part of it. So, to feel back in control, they put down and make fun of the medium and what they do, or try to persuade others that its trickery or phony and they want no part of it. I have heard some people even make fun of the whole idea of anything that doesn't fit into their nice neat little boxes, or their belief system.

Jesus stated in the bible "I have come to send fire on the earth, and oh, how I wish it was already burning" (Luke 12:49). I believe my words are meant to do the same thing, rattle cages to get people thinking that just maybe all I am saying is true. It would be so wonderful if we could truly accept the message of Jesus without any judgments or trying to change it to fit into what our particular denomination preaches. We need to show people that we mean what we say and say what we mean, and in all that we do we live our beliefs to the fullest. If we lived what we believed in our hearts to be true, then everyone would want what we have.
Chapter Sixty One

I recently had the opportunity to be present as a mother and daughter were reunited by a reading that I did for the daughter. The mother was able to thank her daughter for telling her it was okay to leave and go to the light, that she would be okay. The daughter told me that she never told anyone she had done that, told her mother it was okay to leave. She looked at me with surprise on her face as I conveyed the message of thanks from her mom. I told her, of course your mother knew you had done that, and she wanted to thank you for having the courage to say those final words to her. It is these little things that bring so much comfort, knowing our loved ones are not only aware of our presence with them as they take their last breath, but they also hear and are aware of what we say to them. It is so important to speak words of comfort and love as your loved ones prepare to cross over. They do hear and are aware of all you do and say to them.

Her reading also consisted of some direction through the tarot card reading that helped her in some family situations that she was dealing with. I am always amazed at how perfect strangers can come to me for a reading, and by the end of the reading as they get ready to leave they are hugging me and thanking me for sharing my gift with them. I always make sure I thank them for allowing me to be the bridge between them and their family, and for allowing me to see once more that it is through my gift that this all happens. It is an affirmation for me and a humbling way to be used for others. The universe has so much in store for us as we journey through each lifetime, connecting with those who have gone on before us is just one of the blessings, another is knowing that we can and do connect with them in a real way. It is not a figment of our imagination.

People have often asked me how it is possible to connect with someone who passed many years ago, if reincarnation is true, and we come back again to this earthly plane. I will try and share with you how I understand it happens, but I am not hundred percent sure that it happens this way. I have said many times before that our soul and our consciousness lives on after our physical death, and this is true. It is that consciousness that connects with the family member that is here still working on their own karma in the earthly plane. Remember that I also said that we choose when we come back. It is not a revolving door, the time between each incarnation can be anywhere from one day to one hundred years or more. It is during the time between incarnations, when we are making the decision to come back and start all over again, that our earthly family tries to connect or re-establish some sort of contact. It is mostly when their loved ones are on the other side in this in between stage that the connection can happen at any time. As I stated before it can be as short as a few months or as it was with me quite a few years since the loved one crossed over, when the connection is first made.

The time between the death of a loved one and the time it takes to reconnect varies and can be as short as less than a year and as long as fifty years. During that time your loved ones have not been idly playing a harp and sitting on a cloud floating through the heavens. They have been working, fulfilling their assigned duties, which can be as a guide to a new soul, or helping those who have difficulties transitioning to their new surroundings. Imagine the surprise and awesomeness for some souls as they realize that they are in this wondrous place where all is love and new life. They decide when and where to return for another life time here on earth and what they want to experience in their next life that will contribute to their understanding, compassion, patience and wisdom, all seems to be falling into place.

If you really think about it, your loved ones have tried to contact you many times by giving you many different signs to bring to your remembrance memories of them, which causes you to think of them and all they meant to you when they were alive. It's about the smells, tastes, sounds, feel, and sights that remind us of people we have loved and think we have lost, who have passed on. We always tend to think that when things happen that bring our dead loved ones to mind, it is just a coincident. I do not believe there are any coincidences in life when it comes to the psychic realm.

I just read this piece on face book and thought it was well worth sharing. Have you ever heard of a memory ghost? This is the ghost memory of a song, smell, taste, place, person or thing, that reminds you of your loved one who has passed. These things bring their memory rushing back into your consciousness so strongly that it can sometimes take your breath away with the clarity and dimension of the memory that makes it so real in your mind. This is not a random occurrence that just happened to happen. It is a genuine wakeup call that says I am here, I am still a part of your life, and I want to make myself known to you.
Chapter Sixty Two

Talking about death to some people is like talking about reincarnation, they just don't want to hear anything about it. It is a subject they would much rather ignore. They don't want to listen to any kind of discussion about it. It was so much easier to bury their heads in the sand and ignore all mention of death and reincarnation, living their lives with the expectation of living for a long time. It was a subject they knew was there but one they hoped would go away until they absolutely had to face it.

As we grow older and the more death becomes a reality, our mortality is something that we have to acknowledge head on and cannot hide from the realization that we will all die someday. As I thought about this these words came to mind in regard to my book, my daughter, and the finality of death.

I want you to know that I talk about Annette not to make you uncomfortable. She's my daughter and I should be able to talk about her. I write about her because she will forever be my daughter, part of my life, my heart. She is a child, just like your own, but she has travelled to the other side. I write certainly not to bring you down; it brings me joy to speak of her fondly. It's not to get attention; she exists in my life just as your topics of conversation exist in yours. It's also not to gain sympathy, believe you me; I wish I did not have to speak and write about her in the past tense.

I share her story because, my grief is lifelong. It is not to make it about me. I am just one more parent trying to speak of my child, the way you do yours. It's also not to take away from the current conversation; I believe that life as well as death should be something that is part of our everyday conversation, not something that makes us feel uncomfortable talking about it.

Nor is it to make my life seem more important than yours. I am my own person on my own journey and I share what is in my heart just as you do.

It's a reminder of how precious life is. No one needs to be reminded of the loss of a child. It sucks; it truly does, but not speaking of her haunts those of us who know her and love her. She will forever be my daughter, part of my life, my heart.

I write not to bring you down, my grief is life long, but sharing her story is my healing.

She is my daughter; I write about her, her life, her passing, and the time since then because I live every one of those moments in real time almost every day. She is a part of my being. She is a part of my soul. She has a place in my heart. I carried her in my womb for nine months.

I watched her struggle more than she should have had to as she endured her radiation and chemo treatments and saw the limitations her illness placed on her.

At the end of her life I made the hardest decision a parent will ever have to make, I told her it was okay to go toward the light, that we would be okay. I understand in the deepest part of my being that even though I let her go, physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, she will always be with me! My books are proof to me of her continued presence in my life, and her love and caring for her family. I am forever thankful for her presence in my life, and for all she taught me about love and compassion. Her message that death is not the end resonates within me, and brings me comfort, because I know we will meet again. Death cannot break the bond of love between a child and its parents, that kind of love transcends all others. It is a special bond that remains not only magical but mystical as well.

Author, renowned speaker and life coach James Van Praagg wrote, "Death is not the end of existence, nor is it something to be feared; there is life beyond this physical world. Earth is only one part of a vast multi-dimensional universe".

For years I have been teaching that death is not the end of existence, nor is it something to be feared; there is life beyond this physical world. Earth is only one part of a vast multidimensional universe.

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Connect with Sonia Brakowski

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Here are my social media coordinates:

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And one final reminder: If you haven't read my first book:

"Annette Opens the Door"

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