♪ Hey baby I hear the blues are callin'
Toss salads and scrambled eggs ♪
Mom! I'm home.
"Can I get you anything to go with that, Sheriff?"
"Agent Cooper here might want to try a slice of that pie."
"Cherry pie?"
"Best in the tri-counties."
"Done!"
"Diving into his fifth pie, Lardass began to imagine that he wasn't eating pies.
He pretended he was eating cow-plops..."
"It's just after I see the movie I'd like to get a piece of pie and talk about it... sort of a little tradition I have."
Do you like to get pie after you see a good movie?"
"Yeah, I love to get pie after a good movie."
Hey guys, what's up, it is the first day of fall and we are celebrating with a cinema and TV classic: pie.
We're going to start off with 12½ ounces of all-purpose flour
that we're going to dump in the bowl of a food processor,
adding two tablespoons of sugar and one teaspoon of salt.
We're just gonna pulse that quick to combine,
before adding 2 ½ sticks of cold, cubed butter that we're also gonna pulse until
the mixture resembles wet sand.
Then we're going to pour it into a bowl. Measure out six to eight ounces of
ice water that you're gonna sprinkle over top and gently fold in using a rubber spatula, adding more as necessary
until a shaggy dough forms.
Now we're gonna tenderly turn this out onto your work surface.
Pat it into a disc that we're going to liberally dust with flour,
wrap in plastic wrap, and give a two hour nap in the fridge.
In the meantime, we're going to prep our apples.
You wanna start off with about 2 ½ pounds of good baking apples,
such as Cortland, Honey Crisp, Granny Smith...
Just make sure that it's tart and it's not mushy like those apples that shouldn't exist.
Make sure you end up with about two pounds of apple slices,
to which we're going to add ¾ of a cup of sugar, and ¼ teaspoon each of cinnamon, allspice, ginger, and
freshly grated nutmeg.
Add two tablespoons of flour, give it a good mix...
and now that we've got our filling ready, it's time to roll out our dough.
Liberally dust it with flour and take out some aggression on it.
Split your dough into two pieces and begin gently rolling out, dusting with flour as you go.
You generally want to get your dough around about four inches wider than your actual pie plate.
Use your rolling pin to lift up and drape the dough over top of your pie plate.
Press it down into the corners and begin cutting your lattice... LA-tice... la- lattice.
Let's see, we want 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, we want 10 one-inch strips.
Fill the bottom of our pie and crust with our filling and press it down gently...
and begin laying the lattice strips over top. You want to place five strips
across the top of your pie, lifting two strips at a time and interleaving strips in the opposite direction.
You can screw it up a little bit like I did and it'll still look pretty good.
Trim off excess dough and tuck it in underneath around the edge. Then, crimp every inch or so using your fingers
to create a decorative flair.
Give the whole thing a good brush down with a beaten egg white.
Sprinkle lots and lots of granulated sugar over top.
Place on a preheated baking sheet that you've left in a 500°F oven. It should almost set your table on fire.
Reduce the oven temperature to 400°F, and 35-40 minutes later you will have yourself a pie.
You may be tempted to eat it now, but this thing's got to rest at least four hours. Step away.
Good morning, everybody. What's this? Pie for breakfast?
Well, I'd hate to be rude...
