Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary
process by which a victim undergoes a change
in feelings and attitude regarding an offense,
lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness,
forswears recompense from or punishment of
the offender, however legally or morally justified
it might be, and with an increased ability
to wish the offender well.
Forgiveness is different from condoning (failing
to see the action as wrong and in need of
forgiveness), excusing (not holding the offender
as responsible for the action), forgetting
(removing awareness of the offense from consciousness),
pardoning (granted for an acknowledged offense
by a representative of society, such as a
judge), and reconciliation (restoration of
a relationship).In certain contexts, forgiveness
is a legal term for absolving or giving up
all claims on account of debt, loan, obligation,
or other claims.As a psychological concept
and virtue, the benefits of forgiveness have
been explored in religious thought, the social
sciences and medicine.
Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms
of the person who forgives including forgiving
themself, in terms of the person forgiven
or in terms of the relationship between the
forgiver and the person forgiven.
In most contexts, forgiveness is granted without
any expectation of restorative justice, and
without any response on the part of the offender
(for example, one may forgive a person who
is incommunicado or dead).
In practical terms, it may be necessary for
the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment,
an apology, or even just ask for forgiveness,
in order for the wronged person to believe
themselves able to forgive as well.Social
and political dimensions of forgiveness involves
the strictly private and religious sphere
of "forgiveness".
The notion of "forgiveness" is generally considered
unusual in the political field.
However, Hannah Arendt considers that the
"faculty of forgiveness" has its place in
public affairs.
The philosopher believes that forgiveness
can liberate resources both individually and
collectively in the face of the irreparable.
During an investigation in Rwanda on the discourses
and practices of forgiveness after the 1994
genocide, sociologist Benoit Guillou illustrated
the extreme polysemy of the word "forgiveness"
but also the eminently political character
of the notion.
By way of conclusion of his work, the author
proposes four main figures of forgiveness
to better understanding, on the one hand,
ambiguous uses and, on the other hand, the
conditions under which forgiveness can mediate
a resumption of social link.Most world religions
include teachings on the nature of forgiveness,
and many of these teachings provide an underlying
basis for many varying modern day traditions
and practices of forgiveness.
Some religious doctrines or philosophies place
greater emphasis on the need for humans to
find some sort of divine forgiveness for their
own shortcomings, others place greater emphasis
on the need for humans to practice forgiveness
of one another, yet others make little or
no distinction between human and divine forgiveness.
== Research ==
Although there is presently no consensus for
a psychological definition of forgiveness
in the research literature, agreement has
emerged that forgiveness is a process and
a number of models describing the process
of forgiveness have been published, including
one from a radical behavioral perspective.Dr.
Robert Enright from the University of Wisconsin–Madison
founded the International Forgiveness Institute
and is considered the initiator of forgiveness
studies.
He developed a 20-Step Process Model of Forgiveness.
Recent work has focused on what kind of person
is more likely to be forgiving.
A longitudinal study showed that people who
were generally more neurotic, angry, and hostile
in life were less likely to forgive another
person even after a long time had passed.
Specifically, these people were more likely
to still avoid their transgressor and want
to enact revenge upon them two and a half
years after the transgression.Studies show
that people who forgive are happier and healthier
than those who hold resentments.
The first study to look at how forgiveness
improves physical health discovered that when
people think about forgiving an offender it
leads to improved functioning in their cardiovascular
and nervous systems.
Another study at the University of Wisconsin
found the more forgiving people were, the
less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses.
The less forgiving people reported a greater
number of health problems.The research of
Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University, and
author of the book "Learning to forgive" presented
evidence that forgiveness can be learned based
on research projects into the effects of forgiveness,
giving empirical validity to the concept that
forgiveness is not only powerful, but also
excellent for your health was presented with
a Champion of Forgiveness from the Worldwide
Forgiveness Alliance on Forgiveness Day (first
Sunday of August) for his teaching forgiveness
as a life skill.In three separate studies,
including one with Catholics and Protestants
from Northern Ireland whose family members
were murdered in the political violence, he
found that people who are taught how to forgive
become less angry, feel less hurt, are more
optimistic, become more forgiving in a variety
of situations, and become more compassionate
and self-confident.
His studies show a reduction in experience
of stress, physical manifestations of stress,
and an increase in vitality.
== Religious views ==
=== Abrahamic ===
==== Judaism ====
In Judaism, if a person causes harm, but then
sincerely and honestly apologizes to the wronged
individual and tries to rectify the wrong,
the wronged individual is encouraged, but
not required, to grant forgiveness:
"It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow
yourself to be appeased.
On the contrary, one should be easily pacified
and find it difficult to become angry.
When asked by an offender for forgiveness,
one should forgive with a sincere mind and
a willing spirit ... forgiveness is natural
to the seed of Israel."
(Mishneh Torah, Teshuvah 2:10)In Judaism,
one must go to those he has harmed in order
to be entitled to forgiveness.
[One who sincerely apologizes three times
for a wrong committed against another has
fulfilled their obligation to seek forgiveness.
(Shulchan Aruch) OC 606:1] This means that
in Judaism a person cannot obtain forgiveness
from God for wrongs the person has done to
other people.
This also means that, unless the victim forgave
the perpetrator before he died, murder is
unforgivable in Judaism, and they will answer
to God for it, though the victims' family
and friends can forgive the murderer for the
grief they caused them.
The Tefila Zaka meditation, which is recited
just before Yom Kippur, closes with the following:
"I know that there is no one so righteous
that they have not wronged another, financially
or physically, through deed or speech.
This pains my heart within me, because wrongs
between humans and their fellow are not atoned
by Yom Kippur, until the wronged one is appeased.
Because of this, my heart breaks within me,
and my bones tremble; for even the day of
death does not atone for such sins.
Therefore I prostrate and beg before You,
to have mercy on me, and grant me grace, compassion,
and mercy in Your eyes and in the eyes of
all people.
For behold, I forgive with a final and resolved
forgiveness anyone who has wronged me, whether
in person or property, even if they slandered
me, or spread falsehoods against me.
So I release anyone who has injured me either
in person or in property, or has committed
any manner of sin that one may commit against
another [except for legally enforceable business
obligations, and except for someone who has
deliberately harmed me with the thought ‘I
can harm him because he will forgive me'].
Except for these two, I fully and finally
forgive everyone; may no one be punished because
of me.
And just as I forgive everyone, so may You
grant me grace in the eyes of others, that
they too forgive me absolutely."
[emphasis added]Thus the "reward" for forgiving
others is not God's forgiveness for wrongs
done to others, but rather help in obtaining
forgiveness from the other person.
Sir Jonathan Sacks, Chief Rabbi of the United
Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth,
summarized: "it is not that God forgives,
while human beings do not.
To the contrary, we believe that just as only
God can forgive sins against God, so only
human beings can forgive sins against human
beings."Jews observe a Day of Atonement Yom
Kippur on the day before God makes decisions
regarding what will happen during the coming
year.
Just prior to Yom Kippur, Jews will ask forgiveness
of those they have wronged during the prior
year (if they have not already done so).
During Yom Kippur itself, Jews fast and pray
for God's forgiveness for the transgressions
they have made against God in the prior year.
Sincere repentance is required, and once again,
God can only forgive one for the sins one
has committed against God; this is why it
is necessary for Jews also to seek the forgiveness
of those people who they have wronged.
==== Christianity ====
Forgiveness is central to Christian ethics
and is a frequent topic in sermons and theological
works.
Considering Mark 11:25, and Matthew 6:14–15,
that follows the Lord's Prayer, "For if you
forgive men when they sin against you, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their sins,
your Father will not forgive your sins.,"
Forgiveness is not an option to a Christian,
rather one must forgive to be a Christian.
In the New Testament, Jesus speaks of the
importance of Christians forgiving or showing
mercy towards others.
Jesus used the parable of the unmerciful servant
(Matthew 18:21–35) to say that we should
forgive without limits.
Parable of the Prodigal Son is perhaps the
best known parable about forgiveness and refers
to God's forgiveness for his people.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus repeatedly
spoke of forgiveness, "Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy."
Matthew 5:7 (NIV) "Therefore, if you are offering
your gift at the altar and there remember
that your brother has something against you,
leave your gift there in front of the altar.
First go and be reconciled to your brother;
then come and offer your gift."
Matthew 5:23–24 (NIV) "And when you stand
praying, if you hold anything against anyone,
forgive him, so that your Father in heaven
may forgive you your sins."
Mark 11:25 (NIV)* "But I tell you who hear
me: Love your enemies, do good to those who
hate you, bless those who curse you, pray
for those who mistreat you.
If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn
to him the other also."
Luke 6:27–29 (NIV) "Be merciful, just as
your Father is merciful."
Luke 6:36 (NIV) "Do not judge, and you will
not be judged.
Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.
Forgive, and you will be forgiven."
Luke 6:37 (NIV)
Elsewhere, it is said, "Then Peter came to
Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother
sin against me, and I forgive him?
Up to seven times?"
Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up
to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."
Matthew 18:21–22 (NKJV)
Jesus asked for God's forgiveness of those
who crucified him.
"And Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for
they know not what they do.'"
Luke 23: 34 (ESV)
Benedict XVI, on a visit to Lebanon in 2012,
insisted that peace must be based on mutual
forgiveness: "Only forgiveness, given and
received, can lay lasting foundations for
reconciliation and universal peace".
==== Islam ====
Islam teaches that Allah is Al-Ghaffur "The
Oft-Forgiving", and is the original source
of all forgiveness (ghufran غفران).
Seeking forgiveness from Allah with repentance
is a virtue.
(...) Allah forgives what is past: for repetition
Allah will exact from him the penalty.
For Allah is Exalted, and Lord of Retribution.
Islam recommends forgiveness, because Allah
values forgiveness.
There are numerous verses in Quran and the
Hadiths recommending forgiveness.
However, Islam also allows revenge to the
extent harm done, but forgiveness is encouraged,
with a promise of reward from Allah.
The recompense for an injury is an injury
equal thereto (in degree): but if a person
forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward
is due from Allah: for (Allah) loveth not
those who do wrong.
Afw (عفو is another term for forgiveness
in Islam; it occurs 35 times in Quran, and
in some Islamic theological studies, it is
used interchangeably with ghufran.
Afw means to pardon, to excuse for a fault
or an offense.
According to Muhammad Amanullah, forgiveness
('Afw) in Islam is derived from three wisdoms.
First and the most important wisdom of forgiveness
is that it is merciful when the victim or
guardian of the victim accepts money instead
of revenge.
The second wisdom of forgiveness is that it
increases honor and prestige of the one who
forgives.
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, humiliation
or dishonor.
Forgiveness is honor, raises the merit of
the forgiver in the eyes of Allah, and enables
a forgiver to enter paradise.
The third wisdom of forgiveness is that according
to some scholars, such as al-Tabari and al-Qurtubi,
forgiveness expiates (kaffarah) the forgiver
from the sins they may have committed at other
occasions in life.
Forgiveness is a form of charity (sadaqat).
Forgiveness comes from taqwa (piety), a quality
of God-fearing people.
==== Bahá'í Faith ====
In the Bahá'í Writings, this explanation
is given of how to be forgiving towards others:
"Love the creatures for the sake of God and
not for themselves.
You will never become angry or impatient if
you love them for the sake of God.
Humanity is not perfect.
There are imperfections in every human being,
and you will always become unhappy if you
look toward the people themselves.
But if you look toward God, you will love
them and be kind to them, for the world of
God is the world of perfection and complete
mercy.
Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings
of anybody; see with the sight of forgiveness."
— `Abdu'l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal
Peace, p. 92
=== Asian ===
==== Buddhism ====
In Buddhism, forgiveness is seen as a practice
to prevent harmful thoughts from causing havoc
on one's mental well-being.
Buddhism recognizes that feelings of hatred
and ill-will leave a lasting effect on our
mind karma.
Instead, Buddhism encourages the cultivation
of thoughts that leave a wholesome effect.
"In contemplating the law of karma, we realize
that it is not a matter of seeking revenge
but of practicing mettā and forgiveness,
for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate
of all."
When resentments have already arisen, the
Buddhist view is to calmly proceed to release
them by going back to their roots.
Buddhism centers on release from delusion
and suffering through meditation and receiving
insight into the nature of reality.
Buddhism questions the reality of the passions
that make forgiveness necessary as well as
the reality of the objects of those passions.
"If we haven’t forgiven, we keep creating
an identity around our pain, and that is what
is reborn.
That is what suffers."Buddhism places much
emphasis on the concepts of Mettā (loving
kindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (sympathetic
joy), and upekkhā (equanimity), as a means
to avoiding resentments in the first place.
These reflections are used to understand the
context of suffering in the world, both our
own and the suffering of others.
"He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me,
he robbed me’ — in those who harbor such
thoughts hatred will never cease."
"He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me,
he robbed me’ — in those who do not harbor
such thoughts hatred will cease."
(Dhammapada 1.3–4; trans.
Radhakrishnan – see article)
==== Hindu Dharma ====
In Vedic literature and epics of Hinduism,
Ksama or Kshyama (Sanskrit: क्षमा)
and fusion words based on it, describe the
concept of forgiveness.
The word ksama is often combined with kripa
(tenderness), daya (kindness) and karuna (करुणा,
compassion) in Sanskrit texts.
In Rg Veda, forgiveness is discussed in verses
dedicated to deity Varuna, both the context
of the one who has done wrong and one who
is wronged.
Forgiveness is considered one of the six cardinal
virtues in Hindu Dharma.
The theological basis for forgiveness in Hindu
Dharma is that a person who does not forgive
carries a baggage of memories of the wrong,
of negative feelings, of anger and unresolved
emotions that affect their present as well
as future.
In Hindu Dharma, not only should one forgive
others, but one must also seek forgiveness
if one has wronged someone else.
Forgiveness is to be sought from the individual
wronged, as well as society at large, by acts
of charity, purification, fasting, rituals
and meditative introspection.
The concept of forgiveness is further refined
in Hindu Dharma by rhetorically contrasting
it in feminine and masculine form.
In feminine form, one form of forgiveness
is explained through Lakshmi (called Goddess
Sri in some parts of India); the other form
is explained in the masculine form through
her husband Vishnu.
Feminine Lakshmi forgives even when the one
who does wrong does not repent.
Masculine Vishnu, on the other hand, forgives
only when the wrongdoer repents.
In Hindu Dharma, the feminine forgiveness
granted without repentance by Lakshmi is higher
and more noble than the masculine forgiveness
granted only after there is repentance.
In the Hindu epic Ramayana, Sita – the wife
of King Rama – is symbolically eulogized
for forgiving a crow even as it harms her.
Later in the epic Ramayana, she is eulogized
again for forgiving those who harass her while
she has been kidnapped in Lanka.
Many other Hindu stories discuss forgiveness
with or without repentance.The concept of
forgiveness is treated in extensive debates
of Hindu literature.
In some Hindu texts, certain sins and intentional
acts are debated as naturally unforgivable;
for example, murder and rape; these ancient
scholars argue whether blanket forgiveness
is morally justifiable in every circumstance,
and whether forgiveness encourages crime,
disrespect, social disorder and people not
taking you seriously.
Other ancient Hindu texts highlight that forgiveness
is not same as reconciliation.
Forgiveness in Hindu Dharma does not necessarily
require that one reconcile with the offender,
nor does it rule out reconciliation in some
situations.
Instead forgiveness in Hindu philosophy is
being compassionate, tender, kind and letting
go of the harm or hurt caused by someone or
something else.
Forgiveness is essential for one to free oneself
from negative thoughts, and being able to
focus on blissfully living a moral and ethical
life (dharmic life).
In the highest self-realized state, forgiveness
becomes the essence of one's personality,
where the persecuted person remains unaffected,
without agitation, without feeling like a
victim, free from anger (akrodhi).Other epics
and ancient literature of Hindu Dharma discuss
forgiveness.
For example:
Righteousness is the one highest good, forgiveness
is the one supreme peace, knowledge is one
supreme contentment, and benevolence, one
sole happiness.
==== Jainism ====
In Jainism, forgiveness is one of the main
virtues that needs to be cultivated by the
Jains.
Kṣamāpanā or supreme forgiveness forms
part of one of the ten characteristics of
dharma.
In the Jain prayer, (pratikramana) Jains repeatedly
seek forgiveness from various creatures—even
from ekindriyas or single sensed beings like
plants and microorganisms that they may have
harmed while eating and doing routine activities.
Forgiveness is asked by uttering the phrase,
Micchāmi dukkaḍaṃ.
Micchāmi dukkaḍaṃ is a Prakrit language
phrase literally meaning "may all the evil
that has been done be fruitless."
During samvatsari—the last day of Jain festival
paryusana—Jains utter the phrase Micchami
Dukkadam after pratikraman.
As a matter of ritual, they personally greet
their friends and relatives micchāmi dukkaḍaṃ
seeking their forgiveness.
No private quarrel or dispute may be carried
beyond samvatsari, and letters and telephone
calls are made to the outstation friends and
relatives asking their forgiveness.Pratikraman
also contains the following prayer:
Khāmemi savva-jīve savvë jive khamantu
me /
metti me savva-bhūesu, veraṃ mejjha na
keṇavi //
(I ask pardon of all creatures, may all creatures
pardon me.
May I have friendship with all beings and
enmity with none.)
In their daily prayers and samayika, Jains
recite Iryavahi sutra seeking forgiveness
from all creatures while involved in routine
activities:
May you, O Revered One!
Voluntarily permit me.
I would like to confess my sinful acts committed
while walking.
I honour your permission.
I desire to absolve myself of the sinful acts
by confessing them.
I seek forgiveness from all those living beings
which I may have tortured while walking, coming
and going, treading on living organism, seeds,
green grass, dew drops, ant hills, moss, live
water, live earth, spider web and others.
I seek forgiveness from all these living beings,
be they — one sensed, two sensed, three
sensed, four sensed or five sensed.
Which I may have kicked, covered with dust,
rubbed with ground, collided with other, turned
upside down, tormented, frightened, shifted
from one place to another or killed and deprived
them of their lives.
(By confessing) may I be absolved of all these
sins.
Jain texts quote Māhavīra on forgiveness:
By practicing prāyaṣcitta (repentance),
a soul gets rid of sins, and commits no transgressions;
he who correctly practises prāyaṣcitta
gains the road and the reward of the road,
he wins the reward of good conduct.
By begging forgiveness he obtains happiness
of mind; thereby he acquires a kind disposition
towards all kinds of living beings; by this
kind disposition he obtains purity of character
and freedom from fear.
— Māhavīra in Uttarādhyayana Sūtra 29:17–18
Even the code of conduct amongst the monks
requires the monks to ask forgiveness for
all transgressions:
If among monks or nuns occurs a quarrel or
dispute or dissension, the young monk should
ask forgiveness of the superior, and the superior
of the young monk.
They should forgive and ask forgiveness, appease
and be appeased, and converse without restraint.
For him who is appeased, there will be success
(in control); for him who is not appeased,
there will be no success; therefore one should
appease one's self.
'Why has this been said, Sir?
Peace is the essence of monasticism'.
— Kalpa Sūtra 8:59
=== Other ===
==== Hoʻoponopono ====
Hoʻoponopono is an ancient Hawaiian practice
of reconciliation and forgiveness, combined
with prayer.
Similar forgiveness practices were performed
on islands throughout the South Pacific, including
Samoa, Tahiti and New Zealand.
Traditionally Hoʻoponopono is practiced by
healing priests or kahuna lapaʻau among family
members of a person who is physically ill.
Modern versions are performed within the family
by a family elder, or by the individual alone.
== Popular recognition ==
The need to forgive is widely recognized by
the public, but they are often at a loss for
ways to accomplish it.
For example, in a large representative sampling
of American people on various religious topics
in 1988, the Gallup Organization found that
94% said it was important to forgive, but
85% said they needed some outside help to
be able to forgive.
However, not even regular prayer was found
to be effective.
Akin to forgiveness is mercy, so even if a
person is not able to complete the forgiveness
process they can still show mercy, especially
when so many wrongs are done out of weakness
rather than malice.
The Gallup poll revealed that the only thing
that was effective was "meditative prayer".Forgiveness
as a tool has been extensively used in restorative
justice programs, after the abolition of apartheid
Truth and Reconciliation Commission (South
Africa), run for victims and perpetrators
of Rwandan genocide, the violence in Israeli–Palestinian
conflict, and Northern Ireland conflict, which
has also been documented in film, Beyond Right
and Wrong: Stories of Justice and Forgiveness
(2012).
== Forgiveness In Relationships ==
Forgiveness in marriage is an important aspect
in a marriage.
When two individuals are able to forgive each
other it results in a long happy marriage.
Forgiveness can help prevent problems from
accruing in the married couple's future.In
a 2005 study, researchers were interested
in figuring out whether forgiveness is important
in a marriage.
When does forgiveness usually accrue?
Does it accrue before an argument or after
an argument?
Does forgiveness take a role when a person
breaks a promise?
etc Researcher found six components that were
related to forgiveness in marriage and explains
how each one relates to forgiveness.
The six components are: Satisfaction, Ambivalence,
Conflict, Attributions, Empathy and Commitment.Researchers
provided an overview of forgiveness in marriage
and how individuals in a relationship believe
that if forgiveness accrues then you must
forget what had happened.
Moreover, based on the interventions and recommendations
the researcher started to see how important
forgiveness is in a relationship and how it
can lead to a happy and healthy relationship.In
a 2005 study, researchers mentioned that when
couples forgive their spouses they sometimes
need help from professionals to overcome their
pain that might be left behind.
Researchers also described the difference
between how each individual perceives the
situation based on who is in pain and who
caused the pain.
Also how the couple react to the situation
based on their feelings and how they personally
respond to the situation.The model of forgiveness:
"Enright's model of forgiveness has received
empirical support and sees forgiveness as
a journey through four phases" which are:
Uncovering phase: Emphases on exploring the
pain that the individual has experienced.
Decision phase: The nature of forgiveness
is discussed.
Also the individual commits that they will
try to forgive the spouse
Work phase: shifts the focus to the transgressor
in an effort to gain insight and understanding.
Deepening phase: the victim moves toward resolution,
becoming aware that they are not alone, has
themself been the recipient of others' forgiveness,
and finds meaning and purpose in the forgiveness
process.Furthermore, when married couples
argue they tend to focus on who is right and
who is wrong.
Also couples tend to focus on who proves the
other wrong which can cause more problems
and can make the problem worse because it
will make it harder to forgive one another.Recommendation
and interventions:
The researchers also came up with recommendation
for practitioners and intervention to help
individuals that are married on how to communicate
with each other, how to resolve problems and
how to make it easier to forgive each other.
Some of the interventions of forgiveness in
marriage has been a great success.
It encouraged forgiveness and made couples
happier together.Some of the recommendations
that was given to practitioners was that the
individuals had to explore and understand
what forgiveness means before starting any
intervention because the preconceived idea
of forgiveness can cause problems with couples
being open to forgive.
For example, an individual not forgiving their
spouse out of fear that the spouse might think
that they are weak which can cause a conflict.
It was stated that the couple must know the
following:
Forgiveness takes
The different forms of forgiveness
The danger in communicating in forgiveness
That Perpetrators and victims have different
perceptive context is importantFurthermore,
the researchers thought of ways to further
help married couples in the future and suggested
that they should explore the following:
The importance of seeking forgiveness
Self-forgiveness
The role of the sacred in marital forgivenessRelationships
are at the sentiment aspect of our lives;
with our families at home and friends outside.
Relationships interact in schools and universities,
with work mates and, with colleagues at the
workplace and in our diverse communities.
In the article it states, the quality of these
relationships determines our individual well-being,
how well we learn, develop and function, our
sense of connectedness with others and the
health so society.In 2002, two innovators
of Positive Psychology, Ed Diener and Martin
Seligman, conducted a study at the University
of Illinois on the 10% of students with the
highest scores recorded on a survey of personal
happiness.
What they came up with was most salient characteristics
shared by students who were very content and
showed positive life styles were the ones
who "their strong ties to friends and family
and commitment to spending time with them."A
study done in 2000, identified as a key study
that taken part and examined two natures of
relationships (friends and family) and at
what age does the support switch importance
from one to the other.
What the study showed that people whom had
good family relationship, they were able to
carry out more positive outside relationships
with friends.
Through the family relationship and friendships
the character of the individual was built
to forgive and learn from the experience in
the family.
It just goes to show that to have a good base
at the start of a young age, will train the
person to have good better well-being with
outside interactions.In 2001, Charlotte vanOyen
Witvliet asked people to think about someone
who had hurt, wronged, or offended them.
As they thought to answer, she observed their
reaction.
She observed their blood pressure, heart rate,
facial muscle tension, and sweat gland activity.
To deliberate on an old misdemeanor is to
practice unforgiveness.
The outcome to the recall of the grudge the
candidates’ blood pressure and heart rate
increased, and they sweated more.
Pondering about their resents was stressful,
and subjects found the rumination unpleasant.
When they adept forgiveness, their physical
stimulation glided downward.
They showed no more of an anxiety reaction
than normal wakefulness produces.In 2013,
study on self-forgiveness with spouse forgiveness
has a better outcome to a healthier life by
Pelucchi, Paleari, Regalia and Fincham.
This study investigates self-forgiveness for
real hurts committed against the partner in
a romantic relationship (168 couples).
For both males and females, the mistaken partners
were more content with their romantic relationship
to the extent that they had more positive
and less negative sentiment and thoughts toward
themselves.
In the study when looking at the victimized
partners were more gratified with the relationship
when the offending partner had less negative
sentiment and thoughts towards themselves.
It concludes that self-forgiveness when in
a relationship has positive impact on both
the offending and victimized partner.
== Forgiveness Interventions ==
Both negative and positive affect play a role
in forgiveness interventions.
It is the general consensus across researchers
in the field of psychology, that the overarching
purpose of forgiveness interventions is to
decrease overall negative affect associated
with the stimulus and increase the individual's
positive affect.The disease model has been
mainly used in regards to therapy, however
the incorporation of forgiveness into therapy
has been lacking, and has been slowly gaining
popularity in the last couple of decades.
More recent research has shown how the growth
of forgiveness in psychology has given rise
to the study of forgiveness interventions.
=== Different Types ===
There are various forms of forgiveness interventions.
One common adaptation used by researchers
is where patients are forced to confront the
entity preventing them from forgiving by using
introspective techniques and expressing this
to the therapist.
Another popular forgiveness intervention is
getting individual to try and see things from
the offender's point of view.
The end goal for this adaptation is getting
the individual to perhaps understand the reasoning
behind the offender's actions.
If they are able to do this then they might
be able to forgive the offender more easily.There
is, however, conflicting evidence on the effectiveness
of forgiveness interventions.
=== Contrary Evidence ===
Although research has taken into account the
positive aspects of forgiveness interventions,
there are also negative aspects that have
been explored as well.
Some researchers have taken a critical approach
and have been less accepting of the forgiveness
intervention approach to therapy.Critics have
argued that forgiveness interventions may
actually cause an increase in negative affect
because it is trying to inhibit the individual's
own personal feelings towards the offender.
This can result in the individual feeling
negatively towards themself.
This approach is categorizing the individual's
feelings by implying that the negative emotions
the individual is feeling are unacceptable
and feelings of forgiveness is the correct
and acceptable way to feel.
It might inadvertently promote feelings of
shame and contrition within the individual.Some
researchers also worry that forgiveness interventions
will promote unhealthy relationships.
They worry that individuals with toxic relationships
will continue to forgive those who continuously
commit wrong acts towards them when in fact
they should be distancing themselves from
these sorts of people.A number of studies
showcase high effectiveness rates of forgiveness
interventions when done continuously over
a long period of time.
Some researchers have found that these interventions
have been proven ineffective when done over
short spans of time.
=== Forgiveness Interventions: Children ===
There has been some research within the last
decade outlining some studies that have looked
at the effectiveness of forgiveness interventions
on young children.
There have also been several studies done
studying this cross culturally.
One study that explored this relationship,
was a study conducted in 2009 by Eadaoin Hui
and Tat Sing Chau.
In this study, Hui and Chau looked at the
relationship between forgiveness interventions
and Chinese children who were less likely
to forgive those who had wronged them.
The findings of this study showed that there
was an effect of forgiveness interventions
on the young Chinese children.
== Forgiveness and Health ==
Survey data from 2000 showed that 61% of participants
that were part of a small religious group
reported that the group helped them be more
forgiving.
Individuals reported that their religion groups
which promote forgiveness was related to self-reports
of success in overcoming addictions, guilt,
and perceiving encouragement when feeling
discouraged.It is suggested that mindfulness
plays a role in forgiveness and health.
The forgiveness of others has a positive effect
on physical health when it is combined with
mindfulness but evidence shows that forgiveness
only effects health as a function of mindfulness.A
study from 2005 states that self-forgiveness
is an important part of self-acceptance and
mental health in later life.
The inability to self-forgive can compromise
mental health.
For some elderly people, self-forgiveness
requires reflecting on a transgression to
avoid repeating wrongdoings, individuals seek
to learn from these transgressions in order
to improve their real self-schemas.
When individuals are successful at learning
from these transgressions, they may experience
improved mental health.A study in 2015 looks
at how self-forgiveness can reduce feelings
of guilt and shame associated with hypersexual
behaviour.
Hypersexual behaviour can have negative effects
on individuals by causing distress and life
problems.
Self-forgiveness may be a component that can
help individuals reduce hypersexual negative
behaviours that cause problems.Evidence shows
that self-forgiveness and procrastination
may be associated; self-forgiveness allows
the individual to overcome the negatives associated
with an earlier behaviour and engage in approach-oriented
behaviours on a similar task.
Learning to forgive oneself for procrastination
can be positive because it can promote self-worth
and may cause positive mental health.
Self-forgiveness for procrastination may also
reduce procrastination.
== Forgiveness and Physical Health ==
The correlation between forgiveness and physical
health is a concept that has recently gained
traction in research.
Some studies claim that there is no correlation,
either positive or negative between forgiveness
and physical health, and others show a positive
correlation.
=== Evidence Supporting a Correlation ===
Individuals with forgiveness as a personality
trait have been shown to have overall better
physical health.
In a study on relationships, regardless if
someone was in a negative or positive relationship,
their physical health seemed to be influenced
at least partially by their level of forgiveness.Individuals
who make a decision to genuinely forgive someone
are also shown to have better physical health.
This is due to the relationship between forgiveness
and stress reduction.
Forgiveness is seen as preventing poor physical
health and managing poor physical health.Specifically
individuals who choose to forgive another
after a transgression have lower blood pressure
and lower cortisol levels than those who do
not.
This is theorized to be due to various direct
and indirect influences of forgiveness, which
point to forgiveness as an evolutionary trait.
See Broaden and Build Theory.Direct influences
include: Reducing hostility (which is inversely
correlated with physical health), and the
concept that unforgiveness may reduce the
immune system because it puts stress on the
individual.
Indirect influences are more related to forgiveness
as a personality trait and include: forgiving
people may have more social support and less
stressful marriages, and forgiveness may be
related to personality traits that are correlated
with physical health.Forgiveness may also
be correlated with physical health because
hostility is associated with poor coronary
performance.
Unforgiveness is as an act of hostility, and
forgiveness as an act of letting go of hostility.
Heart patients who are treated with therapy
that includes forgiveness to reduce hostility
have improved cardiac health compared to those
who are treated with medicine alone.Forgiveness
may also lead to better perceived physical
health.
This correlation applies to both self-forgiveness
and other-forgiveness but is especially true
of self-forgiveness.
Individuals who are more capable of forgiving
themselves have better perceived physical
health.
=== Criticisms ===
Forgiveness studies have been refuted by critics
who claim that there is no direct correlation
between forgiveness and physical health.
Forgiveness, due to the reduction of directed
anger, contributes to mental health and mental
health contributes to physical health, but
there is no evidence that forgiveness directly
improves physical health.
Most of the studies on forgiveness cannot
isolate it as an independent variable in an
individual's well-being, so it is difficult
to prove causation.Additionally, research
into the correlation between physical health
and forgiveness has been criticized for being
too focused on unforgiveness.
Research shows more about what hostility and
unforgiveness contribute to poor health than
it shows what forgiveness contributes to physical
health.
== Self-Forgiveness ==
Self-forgiveness happens in situations where
an individual has done something that they
perceive to be morally wrong and they consider
themselves to be responsible for the wrongdoing.
Self-forgiveness is the overcoming of negative
emotions that the wrongdoer associates with
the wrongful action.
Negative emotions associated with wrongful
action can include guilt, regret, remorse,
blame, shame, self-hatred and/or self-contempt.Major
life events that include trauma can cause
individuals to experience feelings of guilt
or self-hatred.
Humans have the ability to reflect on their
behaviours to determine if their actions are
moral.
In situations of trauma, humans can choose
to self-forgive by allowing themselves to
change and live a moral life.
Self-forgiveness may be required in situations
where the individual hurt themselves or in
situations where they hurt others.
=== Therapeutic Model ===
Individuals can unintentionally cause harm
or offence to one another in everyday life.
It is important for individuals to be able
to recognize when this happens, and in the
process of making amends, have the ability
to self-forgive.
Specific research suggests that the ability
to genuinely forgive one's self can be significantly
beneficial to an individual's emotional as
well as mental well-being.
The research indicates that the ability to
forgive one's self for past offences can lead
to decreased feelings of negative emotions
such as shame and guilt, and can increase
the use of more positive practices such as
self-kindness and self-compassion.
However, it has been indicated that it is
possible for the process of self-forgiveness
to be misinterpreted and therefore not accurately
completed.
This could potentially lead to increased feelings
of regret or self-blame.
In an attempt to avoid this, and increase
the positive benefits associated with genuine
self-forgiveness, a specific therapeutic model
of self-forgiveness has been recommended,
which can be used to encourage genuine self-forgiveness
in offenders.
The model that has been proposed has four
key elements.
These elements include responsibility, remorse,
restoration and renewal.
The therapeutic model suggests responsibility
as the first necessary step towards genuine
self-forgiveness.
Research advises that in order to avoid the
negative affect associated with emotions such
as overwhelming guilt or regret, offenders
must first recognize that they have hurt another
individual, and accept the responsibility
necessary for their actions.
Once the individual has accepted responsibility
for their offences, it is natural for them
to experience feelings of remorse or guilt.
However, these feelings can be genuinely processed
and expressed preceding the need for restoration.
The act of restoration allows the offending
individual to make the necessary amends to
the individual(s) they have hurt.
The final component in the model of self-forgiveness
is renewal.
The offending individual is able to genuinely
forgive themself for their past transgressions
and can engage in more positive and meaningful
behaviors such as self-compassion and self-kindness.Despite
the suggested model, research advises that
the process of self-forgiveness is not always
applicable for every individual.
For example, individuals who have not actually
caused others any harm or wrongdoing, but
instead are suffering from negative emotions
such as self-hatred or self-pity, such as
victims of assault, might attempt self-forgiveness
for their perceived offences.
However, this would not be the process necessary
for them to make their amends.
Additionally, offenders who continue to offend
others while attempting to forgive themselves
for past offences demonstrate a reluctance
to genuinely complete the four stages necessary
for self-forgiveness.
Research suggests that it is important to
first gather exterior information about the
individual's perceived offences as well as
their needs and motivation for self-forgiveness.
== See also ==
A Course in Miracles
Anantarika-karma
Clementia, Roman goddess of forgiveness (and
Eleos, her Greek counterpart)
Compassion
Contrition
Ethics in religion
Ho'oponopono
Letter of Reconciliation of the Polish Bishops
to the German Bishops
Pardon
Regret
Relational transgressions
Remorse
Repentance
Truth and Reconciliation Commission
Unconditional love
== Notes ==
== References ==
Randall J. Cecrle, Balancing the Scales of
Justices with Forgiveness and Repentance,
2007, ISBN 1-60266-041-7
Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their
Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, 1990
Charles Griswold, Forgiveness: a Philosophical
Exploration, Cambridge University Press, 2007,
ISBN 978-0-521-70351-2.
David Hein, "Regrets Only: A Theology of Remorse."
The Anglican 33, no.
4 (October 2004): 5–6.
Hein, David (2007).
"Austin Farrer on Justification and Sanctification".
The Anglican Digest.
49 (1): 51–54.
David Konstan, Before Forgiveness: The Origins
of a Moral Idea (Cambridge/New York: Cambridge
University Press, 2010).
J. Kramer, and D. Alstad, The Guru Papers:
Masks of Authoritarian Power, 1993, ISBN 1-883319-00-5
K. Lampert, Traditions of Compassion: From
Religious Duty to Social Activism.
Palgrave-Macmillan 2005, ISBN 1-4039-8527-8
Eric Lomax, The Railway Man: A POW's Searing
Account of War, Brutality, and Forgiveness
Fred Luskin, Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription
for Health and Happiness (Harper, 2002)
G. Marcus, The Power of Forgiveness, 2011,
Sapients.Net
J. Murphy, and J. Hampton, Forgiveness and
Mercy (Cambridge University Press, 1988).
K. Norlock, Forgiveness from a Feminist Perspective
(Lexington Books, 2009.
G. Pettigrove, Forgiveness and Love (Oxford
University Press, 2012).
Jeanne Safer, Forgiving and Not Forgiving:
Why Sometimes It's Better Not to Forgive,
2000, ISBN 0-380-79471-3
D. Schmidt D. The Prayer of Revenge: Forgiveness
in the Face of Injustice, 2003 ISBN 0-7814-3942-6
Colin Tipping, Radical Forgiveness: Making
Room for the Miracle, 1997, ISBN 0-9704814-1-1
== External links ==
Hughes, Paul; Warmke, Brandon.
"Forgiveness".
In Zalta, Edward N. Stanford Encyclopedia
of Philosophy.
Forgiveness at Curlie
