- When you get down to it
the story of Jojo's is about one thing.
The Joestar family's
eternal fight against evil.
In honor of the Joestars,
we're gonna cover their family tree.
Brandos included, of course.
And, just like last time we'll
be keeping it anime only.
And I'm not sorry, because
a lot of people haven't
read the manga yet.
So, y'all elitists, just chill.
All right?
We'll be fine, we'll get through this.
We'll just be back in 2030
for the revised family tree, it's fine.
And yes, that also means we're not getting
into any of the weird spinoff stuff.
Sorry, Jorge Joestar.
You're a little too boring.
We'll be covering the anime,
including the ending of part five,
so, there's your spoiler warning.
(chill bass music)
George Joestar.
Not that Jorge that we literally
just said we weren't gonna talk about.
That woulda been weird.
No, Jonathan's dad, George Joestar.
We don't know when he was born,
but he definitely died
in 1888, rest in peace.
If you can believe it,
the Joestars weren't always
super badass warriors.
George was pretty much
your run of the mill,
fancy pants, English aristocrat.
Until, one night, he and his wife, Mary,
are riding along in their carriage,
with their infant son, Jonathan.
Unfortunately, their carriage
crashes and Mary dies.
When George comes to,
he sees Dario Brando
and mistakenly assumes
this creepy looking guy saved his life.
When he was actually trying
to rob their corpses.
George is so grateful
that he gives Dario enough
money to open a hotel.
He even backed Dario up
when he gets caught selling
the ring he stole from Mary's corpse.
As if that wasn't kind enough,
George goes as far as
to adopt Dario's son,
Dio, after Dario finally kicks the bucket.
All because Dario tried
a little corpse thievery
at just the right moment.
The honorable George
Joestar raises both Jonathan
and Dio to be strong, young men.
But eventually, his utter obliviousness
to true evil gets the better of him.
After Dio nearly poisons him,
George sacrifices himself to save Jonathan
and gets stabbed by Dio.
Look, it's a sad ending,
but if you couldn't tell
that Dio was evil, well,
you kinda had it coming.
RIP George Joestar, I have
nothing to pour out so
spray one out of, Ultra
Lens Cleaner, not sponsored.
- [Adrian] Stop, you're wasting it.
- Jonathan takes up the
Joestar mantel from there.
Before we can continue,
we have to circle back
to Dario Brando, you
know, the corpse looter.
Born 1827, dies 1880.
Dario's basically the polar
opposite of George Joestar.
He's the kind of man to take advantage
of whatever situation he's in.
When he finds the
Joestar's carriage crash,
he's hellbent on looting
anything he can find.
After George wakes up,
Dario lets him believe
that he rescued him,
and proceeds to hold that over George,
for the rest of his life.
And you'd think Dario would
make the most of this situation.
You know, some kind, dumb
man, giving you all his cash.
Uh but, no, he just
spends it all on booze.
As, you know, corpse looters do.
Not only that, but, he
worked his own wife to death
and regularly beats the
hell out of his son, Dio.
Yeah, Father of the Year.
Dio does get payback by
poisoning Dario to death.
And, honestly, who can blame him?
Before Dario dies, he makes arrangements
for Dio to be adopted by George Joestar.
And Dio, naturally, jumps at
the opportunity to murder him.
Dio poisons his evil dad,
and gets to play Little Orphan Annie
to George Joestar's Daddy Warbucks.
Sure, at this point in the story,
the moral is that evil always wins.
But something is about to
awaken in the Joestar bloodline,
that's gonna change everything.
Jonathan Joestar, born 1868, died 1889.
Ah, yes, here we go, the first true Jojo.
Just like George, Jonathan's a good egg.
Except, the main difference,
that he's not stupid, ya know?
And kinda knows that Dio
might be, not the best person.
Maybe was after he killed
his dog, who knows?
Once Dio shows up,
Jonathan sees right through
his adopted brother's tricks.
And recognizes that he's a bad guy.
I mean, burning Jonathan's
dog alive is a dead giveaway.
But since George is convinced
that Dio is a sweet little angel,
Jonathan has to put up with this monster,
for the next seven years!
Once Jonathan exposes Dio
for the asshole he is,
he goes on a hunt to kill
the newly turned vampire.
establishing the Joestar family
tradition of slaying evil.
Along the way he learns the breath power,
known as Harmon, from
Will Anthonio Zeppeli.
He even reunites with
Erina, his childhood love.
After defeating Dio, or so he thinks,
he and Erina tie the knot, and
take a Joestar family cruise.
Turns out that Dio's
severed head survives,
and he manages to mortally wound Jonathan.
To stop him once and for all,
Jonathan destroys the boat,
ensuring the safety of his family.
Jonathan dies, cradling Dio's
pissed off head in his arms.
Jonathan, you did your best, buddy.
Even if you're not as successful
as your other descendants.
I'm gonna spray one out for you, homie.
It's finally time, Dio
Brando, born 1868, dies 1989.
Being the son of a corpse looter,
Dio didn't really have the best life.
So naturally, he decides to be
the most evil person in history.
Honestly, you have to
respect anyone who sets goals
and achieves them, even if that goal
is becoming an immortal
vampire who preys on humanity.
After using the mysterious
stone mask to become a vampire,
Dio attempts to establish
a firm base of power.
But after a tough fight,
Jonathan defeats him, once and for all.
Or, at least for a little while.
Dio's still kinda immortal,
and so his severed head kills
Jonathan and takes his body.
That makes him like,
sort of a Joestar, right?
Like, the blood's mixed, like, it works.
We're gonna roll with it.
100 years later, he's pulled
up from the ship he sank in,
and reestablishes himself in Egypt.
Now, with the powerful Stand, Za Warudo!
Unfortunately for him,
his Stand's activation
causes the rest of the Joestar
family to power up as well.
But, we'll get to that in a second.
Next we've got Erina Pendleton Joestar,
born 1869, dies 1950.
No vampires, no Harmon.
Erina is just a young girl
from the English countryside.
Jonathan saves her from
bullies when they're kids,
setting their relationship in motion.
Dio decides to pull a Dio,
and steals her first kiss.
And she's too embarrassed
to see Jonathan, after that.
She heads to India with her
father for the next few years,
possibly doing some nasty colonial stuff,
since this was in the late 1800s.
And eventually she returns to
England, and becomes a nurse.
Reuniting with Jonathan,
and treating his injuries
after his first battle with Dio.
After Jonathan stops Dio for good,
he and Erina get married and have a kid.
You know this.
But when Jonathan destroys
the ship to stop Dio's head,
Erina escapes and adopts
the only other survivor
on the ship, a baby girl.
Eventually she helps raise
her grandson, Joseph,
and is well known as a strong
woman who lives a long life.
Frankly, for a Joestar, she
has an incredibly kind fate.
Maybe it's the Joestar
blood that's the problem.
The one no one cares about!
George Joestar II, born 1889, dies 1921.
As for her son, George II,
he's a great example of how
badly life can go for a Joestar.
George was sitting nice and
peacefully inside Erina's womb,
when Jonathan was killed and never lives
the life that he deserved.
Sure, he joins the British Air Force,
but he never learns Harmon.
So once he discovers that his
superior officer is a vampire,
he's D-E-A-D, dead.
Sorry, buddy, seems as
if the fate of George
is to die horribly to vampires.
Cue the sad music.
(sad music)
Really George's greatest
contribution to the series,
is spitting out Joseph, and
being plot fodder for Joseph.
So, you get like a little,
like a baby, like a little,
like a, all right, that's still too much.
A little bit back, you're okay, whatever.
We're gonna move on.
Next, Elizabeth "Lisa Lisa" Joestar,
born 1888, dies, we're not too sure.
As a baby, Lisa Lisa had the bad luck
of being on the same boat as Dio's head.
At least she had the
good luck of surviving.
After Erina saves Lisa,
she sends her to live
with Straizo, a renowned master of Harmon.
Eventually, she gets together with George,
and they have a son, Joseph.
I mean, it wouldn't be the first time
that a really badass girl
got with a pretty meh guy.
I mean think of, any anime protagonist.
When George gets killed by one
of Dio's old vampire thralls,
Lisa Lisa leaves her home
and uses her Harmon
training to take revenge.
Trouble is, killing an officer
in the British Air Force
might be a bad look.
So the always useful Speedwagon
Foundation hides Lisa Lisa,
and gives her a new identity.
In time, she comes to be the teacher
of Will Zeppeli's
grandson, Caesar Zeppeli.
As well as Joseph, her own son.
Even though he had no idea that
his hot teacher was his mom.
Editor, can we get the, can I get a nice?
- Nice!
- [Adrian] Nice!
(sighs)
(laughs)
- Not that nice, homie,
that's your mother.
Together they fight, and defeat the last
of a dangerous race
known as the Pillar Men.
If you want more info on them,
refer to our Jojo's Bizarre
Adventure Anime Timeline.
That video took forever,
so please watch it.
I died making that.
With the world safe, Lisa Lisa is free
to settle down at long last,
living out the rest of her days in peace.
Is this our first old age?
Good one, pour one out for old age death.
Kinda lame, but healthy, so I'll take it.
Finally, my boy, Joseph
Joestar, born 1920,
dies, I think he's still alive,
but we're not too sure, he's really old.
Oh my god!
Here we go, everyone's
favorite lovable scamp,
Joseph Joestar, himself.
With George II dead
and Lisa Lisa in hiding
Erina and Speedwagon raise
Joseph in their stead.
Over time, he learns to use
his inherited Harmon powers
which, really come in handy,
when the Pillar Men awaken.
Now, Joseph has to battle against
a threat even greater than Dio.
With a trademark ingenuity and good humor,
he defeats the Pillar Men.
Shortly after the battle,
he gets married to Suzie Q.
Over the coming years they
have a daughter, Holy Joestar,
who eventually gives them
a grandson, Jotaro Kujo.
By the time Joseph's in his 60s,
the era of peace has ended.
Dio's back, and now in
all capital letters.
Joseph has to stop him, now with the power
of his newly awakened
Stand, Hermit Purple.
Honestly, Hermit Purple
is unreasonably weak
given to how cool Joseph is,
but he brings some buddies
along on the adventure to help out.
The Stardust Crusaders.
It's a long, tough journey,
but the gang finally
catches up to Dio in Egypt.
Dio almost kills Joseph
but Jotaro saves him
at the last second, by having
medics transfuse Dios blood
into him, and restarting his heart.
The color returns to his face,
the light returns to his
eyes, and he lives on.
To cheat on his wife.
Well actually, Josuke was born before that
but I'm sure he did some cheating
afterwards, so it's fine.
His illegitimate son Josuke stays in Japan
and has his own battle
against evil Stand users.
Joseph stops by to meet him
and things are pretty awkward.
But while he's in Japan, he adopts
the invisible baby, Shizuka Joestar.
Causing his wife to chew
him out, once again.
Next up is Holy Joestar Kujo, born 1942,
dies, we're not too sure.
Joseph and Suzie Q's daughter
Holy is mind-bendingly sweet.
Though she lacks the hotbloodedness
that gives most of the
Joestars their power.
As a result, she stays out
of the major conflicts.
She moves to Japan to
live with her husband,
and watch over her son, Jotaro.
Considering how gruff that boy is,
when we first meet him, you
know Holy is an absolute angel.
When Dio awakens, she also develops
a Stand like the other Joestars,
but she's unable to properly control it,
due to her lack of strength.
As a result, she succumbs
to a great illness,
fueling the Crusaders quest
to defeat Dio, and save her.
In the end, they're successful
and Holy returns to her old, cheery self.
Next up, my boy, Jotaro Kujo.
Born 1970, there's nothing here.
Oh, that's 'cause he's
not dead, he's not dead!
Jotaro grew up as a normal,
Japanese heart throb
and eventually became a delinquent.
A fate for most Joestars.
When he's 17, he gets into a fight
with a group of gang members,
and utterly pulverizes them.
Like, Jotaro's a tough kid,
but I'm talkin' 'bout a
straight up slaughter.
Jotaro beats them so bad,
he thinks he's been
possessed by an evil spirit.
So he turns himself into the
police and stays locked up.
Once Joseph arrives,
the truth is made clear.
Jotaro actually just gained a Stand.
Star Platinum, whose
power is to punch things.
At Joseph's request, Jotaro
joins the Stardust Crusaders,
to stop Dio and save his mom.
Cold and unfriendly, Jotaro is not
the joker his grandfather is.
But he still has the same sense of justice
that's been passed down
through his entire line.
In his fight against Dio, he realizes
that Star Platinum has
the power to freeze time.
Just like The World.
So he turned the tables on
Dio, and finally kills him.
And then he goes home and gets a doctorate
after writing his thesis about starfish.
Does this mean that he's
become a marine biologist?
This boy saves the world,
he deserves a break.
Except Jotaro is so cool,
he doesn't need a break.
He's still investigating the Stand Arrow
that gave Dio his Stand
in the first place.
He helps out with all the
future Stand problems,
including helping
Josuke's group in Morioh,
and sending Koichi to check
up on Giorno in Naples.
Oh yeah, and never
forget, star fish, what?
Now we got Josuke Higashikata.
Born 1983, I'm pretty sure he's not dead.
That would be really sad.
Poor Josuke, he's almost
got it as bad as George II.
He hates his father Joseph
for treating his oddly
attractive mother so poorly.
But I don't blame him.
As a kid Josuke gets an intense
fever that nearly kills him.
It's a lot like the fever Holy got
when Dio awakened the Joestar Stands.
When his mom is driving
him to the hospital
their car gets stuck in the snow.
But a young man with a pompadour appears
and helps them get free,
saving Josuke's life.
From here on, Josuke has the
same self sacrificing spirit
as the rest of his family, as
well as a love for pompadours
which, you better not insult.
Josuke's Stand eventually
develops healthily
into Crazy Diamond.
Which also punches things, but
also puts them back together.
Just like Jotaro, he becomes a delinquent
though a relatively kind one,
who makes friends easily.
After his grandpa is
killed, Josuke's determined
to protect his home town of
Morioh from any and all evil.
The evil this time, just happens
to be a bunch of rotten Stand users.
Along the way he manages
to become best of buds
with a couple of fellow Stand users.
So, who can say it's all that bad?
I mean sure, yes some people
got murdered along the way,
but those murders sparked friendship,
so I see it as a net positive.
Josuke and his friends face of against
the serial killer Yoshikage
Kira and his stand Killer Queen.
With the murderer of all
murderers out of the way
Morioh returns to peace and tranquility.
Josuke even learns to stop
hating his father along the way.
Though, he did get some
revenge by stealing his wallet.
Real Dario Brando move there, Josuke.
Finally, Giorno Giovanna, born
1985, and he's not dead yet.
Look, I love Giorno but he's like
the broken branch, on this family tree
that's barely hanging on.
So, he's actually Dio's son,
but Dio stole Jonathan's body a while back
and I feel like I don't
have to explain this
but the whole baby making
part is below the neck
so, yeah, that's how
Giorno has Joestar blood.
His hair was originally
that familiar Joestar black,
but it eventually turned blonde,
because Dio's vampire magic works
in mysterious ways, I guess.
And I should give Josuke a break,
Giorno really had it rough.
Growing up, Giorno faced
constant neglect from his mother
and was abused by his stepfather.
And his real father was
not around, obviously.
He was dead.
The only one who ever looked out for him
was a gangster that Giorno protected.
Like with Josuke, this early encounter
inspired Giorno's passion for justice,
like a true Joestar.
See, Giorno Giovanna has a dream.
A dream to become a gang-star,
and use the mafia to help
others, instead of hurting them.
To realize his dream, Giorno
ends up pitted against
the rising Passione gang, which has
an assortment of stand users.
Thankfully, Giorno has a stand
of his own, Gold Experience.
Over a wild week and a
half, Giorno teams up
with Bruno Bucciarati's squad,
and defeats the leader of Passione.
Unlocking Gold Experience
Requiem, in the process.
It's basically an advanced
version of his Stand
which is practically unbeatable.
And so Giorno finally becomes a gang-star
and turn Passione into
a compassionate gang,
which helps those in need.
Of course, the Joestar line
doesn't stop with Giorno,
but this is an anime only video,
so we'll have to save the best
Joestar, for another time.
I won't even give you a
hint as to who she is,
just know, she'll do her best
to stop the forces of evil,
'cause that's what a Joestar does.
And, we're Get In The
Robot, your anime explainer,
and that's what we do.
I'm Curt, that's what I
do, 'cause that's my name.
And, be sure to subscribe, and,
that's what you should do, please.
(relaxing bass beat music)
