Jack: So Gavin, what's happening right now?
Gavin: We're on this pain thing.
Jack: OK, Michael - Michael, what's going on right now?
Michael: Well, this is uh...
Michael: I don't know exactly what it's called...
Michael: It's the Pain Machine?
Lady: It's the PainStation.
Michael: The PainStation!
Gavin: Burn in hell.
Lady: It's not very nice.
Ryan: There you go, right up there
Lady: It's just your left hand
Michael: I know, exactly!
Lady: It's not even your right hand
Michael: Exactly -
- so, this is the PainStation, -
- and, uh...it's a hardcore way of playing Pong.
Michael: So, you put your hands on these buttons.
Michael: You have to hold them down the entire time -
- if you take your hands off both of these buttons,
you lose the game.
Michael: Now, my paddle will be on the right side;
Gavin's on the left side.
Michael: If the ball goes through, from what I can tell,
there's icons past it -
- and if it hits one of the icons, you get either burned with heat through here -
Ryan: Yeah, let's - let's get the warnings here.
Michael: Yeah. You get burned with heat, you get -
Gavin: Third-degree burn.
Michael: It's not - that doesn't tell you what you're gonna get, it says it can happen. OK?
Ryan: Yeah.
Michael: You're not gonna get a third-degree burn automatically.
Michael: Again, you're gonna take your hand off in one second, so it won't matter.
Michael: Uh, you can get - I assume shocked, just by this whole metal plate -
Geoff: Yeah.
Michael: - and then, or you get whipped with this -
Ryan: That's the whip, yeah.
Gavin: So you have to defend -
Michael: I just - I just broke it.
Ryan: God damn it, Michael.
Michael: Oh, it just plugs in.
Michael: I was like - 'if it's whipping people, there's no way it went like that and broke off.'
Ryan: All right, it's the PainStation.
Geoff: Don't put it there, that's - put it -
Ryan: Well, that's how it was.
Geoff: Was it?
Ryan: I actually untucked it.
Gavin: So who wants to play?
Michael: Oh yeah, see, look, here's the icons.
Geoff: Really?
Michael: Here's the icons, look. Oh God.
Ryan: Oh, you can actually see what you're going to get!
Michael: Yeah! You know! They just - they roll in and out.
This guy loves pain, 'cause he's just not doin' shit.
Geoff: All right, well, let's do it! Gavin, go!
Gavin: So how do you start?
Michael: Just - gotta push both buttons.
Gavin: 'Play at your own risk'.
Gavin: *laughs nervously* I'm scared.
Michael: Oh, you have to touch that?
Gavin: You have to agree.
Gavin: Oh, f-word.
Gavin: F-wording hell.
Gavin: This is - absolutely -
- terrifying.
Michael: I almost missed the first one.
Gavin: Hoh!
Ryan: You don't even have punishments on the board yet.
Geoff: Yeah.
Gavin: Uahh.
Gavin: Anus.
Gavin: Is it - is it getting faster? 
Geoff: It's getting faster, yeah.
Gavin: Ohhh.
Lindsay: Oh man.
Gavin: *distressed noise*
Michael: Ohp. 
Geoff and Gavin: Uh oh.
Geoff: *above tense breathing* Now there's punishments on the board.
Lindsay: Michael's [unintelligible]. 
Michael: It's fire.
Gavin: GAVFF - FCKKHHH - *devolves into laughter*
Michael: What'd I tell you he was gonna do?
Geoff: You didn't even - *chuckles*
Michael: It went through, you lost, but it didn't hit the thing.
Gavin: I got a wimp-out meter.
Gavin: I've wimped out a little bit.
*Jack and Ryan chuckle*
Gavin: Hoh...
Gavin: Ffff...
Gavin: Right, someone put a heart monitor on me or something.
Michael: Dude, I'm shakin'.
Ryan: I bet you have one on your Apple Watch.
Geoff: This is - ohh boy.
Gavin: Hoahh! I'm just gonna fucking guard this thing with my life.
Geoff: Well, that's the point.
Michael: Pfff...
Gavin: Uh.
Michael: God.
Geoff: Ohh boy. This is intense!
Gavin: Huahh! 
Michael: Gavinnn... Shock is on the board.
Gavin: What was that?
Michael: I'm - it's hot.
Lindsay: Michael's gettin' burned!
Lindsay: Oh man!
Ryan: The heat, the heat is active!
Geoff: How bad was it, Michael?
Michael: It wasn't bad at all, it was like a lightbulb.
Gavin: Ahh!
Gavin: I'm gettin' tingles from the thing! Is it tingling you?
Michael: No you're not.
Gavin: Oh! Ahh! 
Michael: You keep missing, but you haven't gotten got yet.
Gavin: *slow gasp* There's so much there, Michael!
There's so much there!
*Gavin screaming*
*Jack and Geoff laughing*
Michael: What'd I tell you was gonna happen?
Geoff: He's gone. He's taken off.
Michael: It was like... I feel you. 
Gavin: I don't like this game.
I don't like this game.
Geoff: Did it hurt?
Gavin: No! 
Michael: Dude, look at my sweat, though, look at me  sweating.
Geoff: So it didn't hurt? 
Gavin: Well, it did, I just pulled off 'cause it - lit up red.
Michael: It was - it's tense, man!
Gavin: It's - it's the heart that's doin' it. 
Jack: I thought it'd like come out and like, light your hand on fire.
Michael: Do you have third-degree burns?
Gavin: All right you wanna - rematch?
Michael: Yeah.
Geoff: Yeah, there you go.
Ryan: How about just a match?
*Geoff and Gavin laughing*
Michael: Ryan, I won, OK? I'm taking that victory. 
Gavin: All right, here we go. Here we go.
Gavin: This is it.
Gavin: I'm good - I've got it now, I've got it now.
Gavin: My wimp-out meter is [unintelligible]
Michael: I think the whip's probably gonna be the worst.
Gavin: Yeah.
I'm gonna get some lesions.
Geoff: You got Michael's hand, right, Jack?
- uh, Ryan?
Ryan: Michael's hand? No.
Geoff: Oh, OK. I got Gavin's, I don't have Mi - I can't get Michael's from here.
Ryan: All right, I got Michael's hand.
Gavin: God, it's hard, because it's not like - mmmuah!
Ryan: The best part is that whenever Gavin messes up, that puts a punishment on the board for both of you.
Gavin and Geoff: Yeah.
Michael: I'm OK with it.
Jack: Dude, someone should just let like, four go.
Michael: Thought about it.
Gavin: No! *Geoff chuckles* Stop!
Stop bein' a dick.
It's nice and gentle.
STOP!
*Quiet laughter*
Michael: Oh, come on.
Gavin: The sound effects make it worse, too.
Ryan: What, ping, pong, ping, pong?
Gavin: No, like the - the buzz, and the mahhhh.
Gavin: What are you playing at?
Michael: What is that?
Gavin: No! 
Michael: You just made it faster.
Gavin: YOU made it faster. 
Michael: You hit it.
Gavin: Oh god.
Gavin: OH GOD.
Gavin: Oh, shit soup.
Gavin: Fffecal drip.
Gavin: AH!
Michael: This is worth every second.
Geoff: Oh, Michael's gettin' burned.
Ryan: Michael's got the hot hand.
Gavin: HAHHHHH.
Geoff: Oh, Michael, you survived!
Michael: Barely.
Jack: Do you have third-degree burns, Michael?
Michael: First. Lindsay: Yes.
Gavin: Oh, we're gonna get whipped.
Geoff: I look forward to the whipping.
*Gavin chuckles*
Michael: OW! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. You had to say it.
Ryan: Did you get the heat AND whipped?
Geoff: Did you get that, Ryan?
Ryan: Yup, I got it.
Lindsay: It looked like a dog tail.
*Geoff fucking loses it*
Geoff: That was the greatest thing.
Gavin: Oh god!
Aw, fekes.
Ryan: What are you even complaining about, you haven't gotten anything yet.
*Gavin and Michael freak out*
Both: Oh God noooo!
*Gavin screaming*
Michael: COME ON, there's THREE?
*Gavin screaming*
Michael: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Gavin: It electrocuted my hand!
Michael: Still won.
Jack: Ow, ow, ow...
Michael: That whip is annoying!
You can't really see it - look, I have a little mark.
Jack: Oh, wow!
Lindsay: You're shaking, too.
Gavin: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow... All right, who's up next?
Michael: This is tense.
Geoff: Nobody that was - it's just you two. 
Michael: I  - I keep winning.
Gavin: Yeah...winner stays on right?
Michael: You don't have to be at the game...you don't have to be good at all
Gavin: I'm not good
I got electrocuted then flung my hand off
Jack: Alright
Gavin: Jack you want a go?
Jack: So uuhhh, Michael wins.
Geoff: Congratulations.
Gavin: Here we go...
...press the button.
Lindsay: Begin!
Ryan: Alright Gavin I believe you can finish this game
Gavin: Yeah!
Gavin: I feel good about it now.
Gavin: Now that everything has been experienced.
Gavin: Well actually I haven't had the whip yet.
Lindsay: It's already off to a horrible start.
*Laughing*
Geoff: I feel like I'm...
...they hired a guy with palsy to film this.
*Laughing*
*Game beeping*
Michael: What was that?
Gavin: Ah, well, the - You let go and you're almost out.
*Michael laughs*
Lindsay: Nah it's good.
Ryan: You almost went down
Michael: Yeah, push it down
Jack: Does that build back up?
Lindsay: No I don't think so.
Doesn't it automatically lose if it goes down?
Jack and Ryan: Yeah
Lindsay: Fuuck!
Ryan: Oh, hot!
Gavin: Was that just heat or both?
Lindsay: No, it's heat.
Lindsay: It's actually kind of warm and nice.
Ryan: Yeah, it's not bad.
Geoff: It gets hotter.
Geoff: If you get to double.
Lindsay: Ah, fuck...
Geoff: I get double everything.
Gavin: Oh there's like, multipliers?
Jack: Oh yeah, there... there were multipliers -
Jack: - there was electricity just on the table, like -
Jack: - like it would just go through and shock you.
Lindsay: Here we go
Gavin: AGGHHH!
Gavin: OOOOWWW!
Gavin: AGH HAH!
*Laughter*
Ryan: God damn it Gavin.
Jack: *Laughing* You went through all three!
Gavin: AGGGHH!
Lindsay: Ah! I got electrocuted
Gavin: It's really hot
Lindsay: Faaa *Laughs*
Lindsay: Aw that felt so weird.
Gavin: Son of a bitch.
Jack: Gavin got all three,
in a matter of about five seconds.
Gavin: AGGHHHH!
Gavin: OUUUH!
Lindsay: I can bring it back, I can bring it back!
*Laughing*
Gavin: Whyyy?
Gavin: Why am I playing?
Gavin: Oh. OHHH! OHHH!
Gavin: PBBTTHH
Lindsay: Don't you hit that speed.
Lindsay: This is a place of learning, please.
Lindsay: Fu-FUCK! I'm getting whipped!
*Laughing*
Gavin: That really hurts!
Gavin: Doesn't that hurt?
Lindsay: Yeah!
Gavin: Oh!
Gavin: [Unintelligible Gavin noise]
Lindsay: It's like I stole something -
Lindsay: - it whipped me for it.
Gavin: Ugh hoh!
Gavin: Ohh.
Lindsay: Aw, shit!
Gavin: Uhh
Gavin: AAAAAAAHHH!
Jack: Look at the mur-[interrupted] 
Gavin: *Yelling*
*Michael laughing*
Gavin: God!
Gavin: AAAAGH!
*Gavin squealing*
*Lindsay laughing*
Lindsay: Oh god. Aaaah!
Lindsay: Damn it...
Lindsay: Ooh...
Lindsay: There are so many balls on this, oh fuck.
Gavin: Oh shhhhit me
Jack: Look at Gavin's thumb!
Gavin: My hand skin is gonna come off!
Gavin: OHH
Lindsay: Oh god
*Jack laughing*
Lindsay: Ah shit.
Jack: Woah!
Gavin: Ouh.
Lindsay: *grunting in pain*
Gavin: *laughing*
Lindsay: *grunting in pain*
*Laughing*
Jack: A little warm?
Lindsay: Yeah a little bit
Lindsay: It's toasty
Lindsay: Ah shit.
Michael: You are getting cooked
Jack: Jeeesus
Michael: Stop
Jack: Awh. 
Ryan: Oh
Michael: Oh! Well. 
Ryan: You did it!
Ryan: Look at Gavin's hand!
Gavin: Bloody ow, that one really hurt.
Lindsay: How bad's yours?
Lindsay: Yeah, it's got a little bit. Yours is intense.
Gavin: Oh, god
Geoff: How you feeling Ryan?
Ryan: I'm fine.
Michael: My fucking hand is sore.
Geoff: Are you nervous at all Ryan?
Ryan: Not really, I mean,
it's not going to do anything irretrievable to me.
Geoff: Well
Michael: Ryan, be more like Gavin, okay?
Lindsay: I hope it whips one of your fingers.
Ryan: *imitating Gavin* Aahhh!
*Laughing*
Jack: Serious PainStation.
Geoff: Jack could you do a wide?
Geoff: Thanks.
Ryan: Oh.
Ryan: I wonder if I can hit it backwards
when it comes from the other side.
Geoff: Oh, that's interesting.
Ryan: 'cause it seems like it goes through.
Like it wraps.
Michael: I don't know what causes more to come out.
Geoff: Uhh...
Geoff: I think it has something to do with missing, right?
Michael: Yeah...
Geoff: Miss on each side or something?
Michael: Yeah, I- I tried.
Michael: Oh, he got me.
Michael: Yeah, there we go.
Michael: We're not here to play Pong, folks.
Ryan: That's true.
Gavin: Kind of are.
Michael: Sort of.
Michael: Pong is just the tool.
Gavin: It gets faster and harder anyway.
Michael: Dude, the multiball kinda
took me by surprise. I got whipped like, twice.
*Ryan chuckles*
Gavin: Did you really?
Michael: In 5 seconds, yeah, it whipped me once
and it whipped again.
Ryan: Ahh! Okay that was...
*Laughing*
Ryan: That's electricity.
Michael: I haven't gotten that one yet.
Ryan: That was not bad at all.
Michael: I haven't gotten that yet.
Ryan: It was really nothing bad.
Gavin: There's a shock, though.
Ryan: It was a little shock.
Michael: Fuck.
Geoff: Oh boy.
Ryan: I feel my finger a little bit now.
Gavin: You feel it in your toes?
Ryan: No, it didn't make it that far.
*Laughing and humming*
*Michael singing*
Michael: Oof!
Geoff: Ooh, that was close.
Michael: Pickin' up, pickin' up...
Michael: Oh God.
Ryan: Whuh, what the fuck?
Michael: What the hell?
Michael: Oh, man!
Michael: You broke the game and whipped yourself!
Michael: What was that?
Ryan: *laughing* That wasn't fair!
Michael: It went through the ceiling!
Ryan: It did!
Geoff: Did you get whipped Ryan?
Ryan: I did get whipped. A little bit.
Ryan: I think the whip on this side might be wussier.
Ryan: Whaap, there's the whip again.
*Michael and Geoff laughing*
Geoff: It's like... it's like you're petting a happy dog!
*Gavin laughing*
Ryan: I think it's reducing the
number of punishments like -
Ryan: - "Uhh, you've been hit a couple times."
Ryan: What the fuck!? I hit it!
*Laughing*
(Fun fact: You can see Geoff chuckling on a waveform)
Gavin: Oh!
Ryan: (Gibberish) Godamnit
Geoff: Can You Get Cr- Oh Shit OWWW!
Geoff: DAAAAAAAAAH!
Geoff: I'm Shaking
Geoff: HAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Geoff: Alright That's It
