Study after study shows that millennials cannot survive without daily servings of nostalgia.
If they don't get it, they will die.
Trust me. I'm wearing a labcoat.
As millennials refuse to grow up, their nostalgia dependency increases,
requiring even larger doses of crap they enjoyed when they were kids.
That's why everyone who grew up on Full House now needs a Fuller House.
But nostalgia resources are finite, so to get their fix,
millennials are now scraping the bottom of the nostalgia barrel with none other than Bill Nye.
You know, The Science Guy?
Whose VHS tapes we watched when our middle school science teacher was out sick or hung over?
Remember bits like this?
Hey, it was the 90s!
Bill Clinton was president, people were wearing Toni Kukoc jerseys,
and hosts of kids' TV shows were still spreading the panic of overpopulation to all the little boys and girls.
That was then. This is now, and Bill Nye is back, baby!
Not only to cater to our remember-whens, but also to Save the World.
And apparently, he's trying to do it in one take.
We're developing renewable so-re-sources of energy!
And contra-sheption..and contraception!
Ooh, watching Bill Nye the Messiah Guy feels like going through puberty again...with all the awkwardness.
Especially in the last episode of the series titled: "Earth's People Problem,"
where, true to 90s Bill Nye form, humanity is reduced to resource sucking sponge people.
[LOU] Hey! There we are! That's me! I'm right there!
But a lot has happened between 1995 and Netflix.
Contrary to Bill Nye's doomsday predictions,
it turns out extreme poverty has fallen below 10% for the first time in history!
And fewer people are starving than ever before.
But that doesn't mean we don't still have huge people problems.
[BILL NYE] We can produce enough food for everybody, but we're not good at distributing it.
[LOU] You know, that's a decent point.
As the international humanitarian organization, OXFAM, puts it:
"Famines are not natural phenomena, they are catastrophic political failures."
But rather than focus on how to actually get all that food and water to the people who need it,
Bill Nye is recycling his old material and complaining about overpopulation.
Whether it's in developing countries like India or developed nations like the United States,
because in the end, we're all just faceless carbon-emitting sponge people. Right?
[TRAVIS] So the average Nigerien emits .1 metric tons of carbon annually.
How many does the average American emit?
[BILL NYE] I did that with my coffee this morning!
[TRAVIS] 16 metric tons! Our two kids are way more problematic.
The Nigeriens with an average 7 children are not the problem when it comes to climate change.
[BILL NYE] So should we have policies that penalize people for having extra kids in the developed world?
[TRAVIS] So, I do think that we should at least consider it.
[BILL NYE] 'At least consider it' is like 'Do it.'
Oh yeah, because that one-child policy really worked out in China.
Not to mention the US has been seeing declining birth rates for years.
But more than that, do Bill Nye and his guests really want countries like Niger to stop developing?
On the off-chance that they start living a standard of life like the one we enjoy in the United States?
I don't know, millennials.
You might be nostalgic for Bill Nye, but Bill Nye is not nostalgic for you.
And he's definitely not looking forward to you reproducing.
Although it looks like you're doing Nye's will on that front.
So, what do you think?
Does Earth have a people problem? Or does Bill Nye?
Let us know in the comments.
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