And now it's time to look at the three dumb
parts of the criminal justice system.
Are you a White man?
Have you been charged with assault, rape,
murder?
Then you need to call MISS Conducts, lawyers
and associates.
At MISS Conducts, lawyers and associates,
We guarantee you, an all-white jury.
But wait, there’s more, are there eyewitness
reports, forensic evidence of your crime?
MISS Conduct Lawyer & Associates will gas light
the crap out of that shit and still get you
your not guilty verdict.
Wait, there’s more!
We’ll even seek damages from the victim’s
family.
Make their life a living hell, making you
a hero.
Wait, there’s more.
The only thing they’ll write about you in
the press is what a nice guy you are and maybe
they’ll mention your sparkly blue eyes.
At MISS Conduct Lawyer & Associates we’ll make
sure that Lady Justice is not only blind but
also deaf and dumb.
Give us a call.
You can thank us later.
And now we check in with Const.
Jane Wiggam to get her opinion on whether
black lives matter to the police force.
Of course black lives matter to the police
force.
Black lives are our bread and butter
Listen let me explain the economics of policing
to yus.
Only a small portion of police work is dedicated
to violent crime.
Petty crimes, fines, citations- that is where
the money is.
When the city budget gets short on revenue,
here’s where we can step in.
Fines count for up to 10 percent of revenues
in some jurisdictions.
So what does that have to do with the black
community
Where you find a high pverty rate- your gonna
find a high fine rate.
That doesn’t make any sense
Are you kidding?
It makes total sense.
I can’t go fine wealthy neighbourhoods,
let me give you an examples.
Let’s just say I fine a suburban lady woman
walking in the middle of the road, what do
you thinks gonna happen?
She’ll fight it
Exactly, we need to fine communities who don’t
have the resources to hire fancy lawyers-
otherwise the fine that was supposed
to make money could cost us.
But if it’s a poorer community, presumably
they would have a harder time paying those fines
And here- my friend is the magic of the system.
Let’s just say I fine someone for running
a stop sign or too many vehicles in their yard
I fine them, they can’t pay.
Now they’re a criminal, you let that roll
around in their mind, and then they go steal
a pack a cigars and bam- more crimes, more
fines.
More crime, more fine, more crime, more fine,
it’s like a hamster wheel.
But what if the fines are never paid.
They’re still on the books- money owed still
counts in the revenue column.
And sometimes the more citations you got,
the more perks you get.
Like I got this pen, or one time I got this
Harry Potter Butter Beer mug, and another time
I got a personalized jockstrap so that if
anyone kick me in the nuts it wouldn’t hurt.
Of course I’m a woman so I don’t have
any nuts but they teach you how to talk like
that at the police academy so don’t bust
my balls about it ok.
And now let’s go to Brett Kavanaugh, an
associate justice for the Supreme Court of
the Unites States.
You can’t drive me out.
You won’t get me to quit.
Never.
I have a calendar.
It’s meticulously kept.
Never, never, neveeeeeeeer!
So, here’s where we are.
Time for justice reform.
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