

---

Shadow Play

By Gabrielle Bryant-Gainer

Darkness

on February 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Light  
beaming down on my sore eyes  
breaking me  
into tiny pieces  
shivering cold in the coldness we see lines...as thin as your veins

covering the bruises

that you adapted to your stylish grace  
padding the blotches with sweet  
powder

showering the beautiful in glitter and shine  
shadows escape the darkness

when laughter resounds, no one hears- nobody listens

everyone left...  
.  
.  
but that is the way we play

with our hands tied behind our backs

and only the strongest will survive  
only the ones with the guts to kill can show you what it means to be

ill.

I feel ill, I see a ghost in the mirror

a monster

an addict holding the cold gun to my neck  
just one motion

pull it down over your head  
learn to

torture  
and rocking & rocking & rocking  
selfishly

to the sound of your pulse

I can hear it in the walls  
Peeling the paint off your ears  
I can taste the salt of violence  
And it feels like butter  
on my tongue  
But ignorance is bliss  
So is beauty is its absence.

And no one will ever be alone like I am right now.  
Don't you understand?

There's no gun in my hands, no hole in my heart, no bruises, no demons,

No evil men.

The Gathering

on December 3, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

gathering together in that eerie town  
where muffled screams from shuffled crowds  
form ugly inventions that make pristine the guiltless glow  
of all the unseen and seen in her wonderland of snow

drinking from our glasses, there's such silence in the sky  
like it's raining from the bitterness, loneliness, and grey

stitching eyes closed in comfort, in a secret womb of dread  
Washing faces clean until those worries disappear  
They gather their hearts only to have them ignored.

Drained thoughts like raindrops collect at a pool underfoot  
And splash, with every child's foot, one minute still and stable  
Then scattered, the sounds of creation rip through her lifeless eyes  
In a beautiful peachy rose colored paradise

Awoken with one peaceful call- the angels soothe her sore body  
Her sickness, while they're in their pale forms

that cannot understand  
Who would tie her, bind her still, with another jealous riddle  
Oh to be happy- she'd embrace them, with her pearly sweet smile  
Oh to be breathing- if only seeing, the sun for a little while  
Now back to her cradle, into the stream of blankets she falls still

Just a child, just a girl, in a silly kind of life--  
One that makes you feel sort of warped, through walls stained white  
Nobody would see her, in their infantile shame  
Of mindlessness, of chains that crawl, of nothing that will arrive at all...  
But knowledge is a discomfort, something that I've tried to avoid  
For learning, discipline, is not what the world can provide  
Only those curly unfurling seamless hopes, dangling from the outside  
Hopes to escape this grown up land, of man and his happy wife.

Beth and Death

on November 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

the fragrant flowers decorated the pool  
of what had been the way she felt  
where a fool at last had seen the line  
and scratched the surface to find out  
when she broke the glass and drank  
Her wine, afternoon became a concubine  
For the wind pulled itself in circles  
And the words they had left forgotten stilled  
But Beth knew to nod along as though they were right  
Or had it made sense then with no appetite  
Heart skipped a beat, forgot how to pump  
And the last thing she knew  
she heard the last thump.

Umbrella

on June 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She clutches close her remembrances  
Of him, when it rained- it stormed  
Nothing was wrong, it was always right: the "perfect" note  
Waits on the dresser beside her string of pearls  
Where He buried himself deep in her arms  
When it rained it always stormed  
She carries him over the sea...stretching out across galaxies  
He listens to her breathing love  
Love, loves to play with her hair every morning  
Love, loves to wear that same pink waistcoat  
Love, loves to carry her umbrella on the sidewalk  
When it's raining, raining my tears to hers  
When I'd rather be kissing her cheek  
Kisses away the self, for what remains is free.

Emptiness

on January 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You may not know how much I love you  
But in these sorrowful dreams I sleep  
In only the shadowy abyss  
In a drunken emptiness I wait  
For the sun to fill me up  
Like old wine on a new year's eve  
Smoke fills his shallow lungs  
Though the darkness is sometimes haunting  
It escapes all recollection  
This is my vocation  
To save the day for you  
My bread, my lover's rose  
The tables have food upon them  
For the hands that falter through  
Windows they hang, from a tree hang  
Tired Alone and sad  
If only I could accompany you  
Those final walks of life  
Windows to the soul.

Naked

on January 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She is standing in the shower  
Letting the water drip upon her skin  
And the slick wet feeling  
Leaves her shuddering  
Like a child in the dark  
If only her heart was simple  
If only it were light  
But it sinks like a rock caught  
Deep in her throat

Bones

on January 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

with broken  
((bones))  
Eyes sore  
Blood so red eyes as if  
burnt out cigarettes  
swirls of  
c o l o r s dancing in a  
room without a view  
shadows  
hide our colors  
our bones  
our yellow sagging lids  
poorly held posture  
drifting in the green  
w i th out hands  
leafing through bird bones  
singing songs  
about wrath,  
garbage and  
disorder.

My god. We pray to the god of  
delusional loving  
And spit poetry out of  
our mouths

drinking in the smoky breath of  
a lonely afternoon  
drenched in waters and sand  
hold out our hands

embrace  
the denial of  
smash x the rhymes in half  
smashx the world  
into equal parts and laugh  
at the silly nature

of human art.

Freak

on January 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Tell me what you felt  
When the rain came down that night  
What was in your heart

Filing down the halls  
Did you ever think of it  
Your generation

Maybe you will see  
There is nothing but the sun  
And we'll make it shine

But I think I know  
What exactly is in you  
The reasons you choose

To walk down this road  
To find the lonely roses  
The one who is home

I know you feel well  
In this place where you sleep so  
Delicate ego

Passing through the waves  
Making birds fly with your hands  
Will you ever land

I doubt you will find  
Me when you have found yourself  
I am not your friend

The sin is in me  
The knife is so gentle now  
My lover so free

I chose to be this  
Don't you go blaming yourself  
It is not your fault

The dark night craves blood  
The angels sing for the moon  
You don't deserve love

Seeing the Light

on April 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Goddess of the golden tears  
Mistress to the tide that is rising  
Bring light shining in through me  
In through me bring this light shining

Golden hair of sunlit fields  
Of many flowers, wilder than her eyes  
Tomorrow dawns, a new birth of laughter  
Angels' songs will carry me over

Ageless sunrise, off sweeping new horizons  
Despair and darkness rules the winter night  
Bring the softness of lullabies  
And the quivering halo of ageless life

Golden sun, the fortunate spring I've sought  
The eternal shore, of waters everlasting  
The savior seeks his children, the water is so fresh  
eternal drink of purity, be blessed

Salt protects, mixing salt with water and blessed wine  
We seek to create an image, brought to your eyes and mine  
Sunshine is freed by the cloudy mist  
And an ocean of rain comes following her kiss

The thorns wrapped around her heart  
Can contain no more grief  
And if you seek an Angel or a God  
You must get onto your knees and pray relief

Show the world you are worthy  
To begin this amazing journey  
Through the sorrows of agony  
We venture into the many eyes of our new eternity

Trapped

on February 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Daylight streams in through this guilty crack in the wall  
I'm sleeping on a plank and it is cold inside this cell  
Oh how the ugly sleeps so well inside these metal bars  
Where denial dreams so lovingly of all her blinding sorrows

The rhythm of the blue skies, the clouds, the yellow sun  
I miss the sweet music of the birds, their melodies alone  
For here inside this pool of grey, I'm drowning in despair  
I tremble when the light's so pale and vanish when it's gone

Oh to stroll among the hills, instead I wait inside this tomb  
Dusting off my weakened mind, as I grow tired with boredom  
In this prison of my life where my heart has learned to steal  
From the venom of bitterness or the presence of a mirror

Decaying in this loneliness I try to find an appeal  
As the repetitions create a new me, so bare and so unreal  
For here in my intrepid world, their hateful eyes will take  
To anything they find that's left, to anyone just breaks

In this fragmented gloom, we'll taste our miserable pains  
Feeding upon their flesh, tearing out their worn remains  
For thirty years have gone by, and I am doomed rest alone  
A person without a reason as I fear I have become

Looking for a kind of peace as I keep on resisting fate  
With every fragile taste of life for which I am still grateful  
But in this cage I find myself, in this lake of darkness  
Where only in the dismal light can you see your own existence

The Peaceful Kingdom

on March 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

"Welcomed in the sky,--  
once children we were free,  
oh Earth's clouds, unfold so brilliantly  
bring me the light and sing  
till the nightingale  
larks of freedom in thy soul."

Covered with the darkness by a dread of hand,  
we were compelled to hear:  
the piper pipe of many a man  
in a kingdom far from here.

What were its thickest shades where they'd been led?  
a watered heaven, no winds in their breath,  
from the seats of the valleys into the night,  
he followed them by trail of death.

Quench, Oh children from my sight  
for there to God, thou mortal hands are skies;  
burnt of tender morning, stain their world with fire  
their bodies left the voice of the light  
a thousand spirits of my happy day,  
forever lurking in my evil ways.

my foe beheld it in the maiden when she ran away,  
to be with the flowers in my garden bright and free  
in a land that longs for her silvery hair,  
does not she laugh with woe, for the valley that loved thee?

"Oh the steps of the happy and never want of joy.  
it bears their hearts with painful tongs,  
night is called by His image, but I made a bank:  
where thy dream of every man is wrong,  
it is for another pleasant sound reborn:  
and I say to welcome in a threatening horn  
while our sports have tasted in silent delight  
she'd fled with a freedom, the maiden fair,  
sit down, to waste in hell's despair;  
I guard them well with thee behind me,  
who doth give his youth a harlot's curse  
blasts! These forests of thy father's moor!  
I murmur my wishes but only to his fervor  
what was my joy, but a hapless plea?"

"Oh Earth's clouds let thy ruddy eyes see day  
angels shall brush my shady roof,  
there they may find hope under leaves  
so many children are stripped  
of thy father; does it keep my love in vain  
oh Day of Mourning,  
come down and bid thee such a sign."

ten-thousand spirits of woe!  
what shall be in the home of her mournful head,  
whose ears have built Jerusalem  
in thy heart and soul?  
when He was dark, no injury,  
to the sacred years,  
when Mary had spoken in the night of a spirit,  
he became a bright mane of stars, to sit  
beneath our Father's throne,  
and know thy Peace, the Dove, but can it be?  
for the longings of their eyes so poor,  
oh To be like them and scream of war!  
or to vanish with the night, to be the dying star  
beheld such a brilliant sight, from our father's shore.

Thorn

on March 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

my inner peace,  
the thorn  
finding a place between the norm  
we run and run until the words entwine  
but each one seems square and ostracized...I'm on the fringe  
How can we reach the stars when there is so much distracting ours?  
From the beauty of the moon  
my inner peace  
and a thorn

I want you to know, the wild and submissive  
The world beyond this gross habitat  
Where lizards walk in silent reverie  
This is insanity, fucking insanity  
I want you to scream something different  
Something that I can't hear,  
but everything is wavering  
Nothing is ever clear

I want to hurt you  
Violence beats in my heart  
Where the daggers twists in ruination  
When a soul's been worn beyond repair  
How do we turn love sour  
When do we pick the morning's flowers?

I wish you knew me by name  
But all you see is the same grey  
I have become the self-sacrificial  
I know things have become so...artificial  
But that's life when you're down  
Can't fight it, spin things around  
See it in white, colors aren't clear  
But nothing is beautiful to you dear

Where is that inner peace  
The inner saving grace  
No one knows the nonsense it grows  
How do we fall in love now  
When there is nothing to love  
But these speckles of dust  
running now, running away  
Because you know down here  
They don't come true

You know down here that  
Dreams don't come true  
Unless you've got some  
Big air balloon...  
Take this away  
Take it away  
I can't stay  
I won't stay here

Beautiful Burnout

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Angry hearts and smiles in clay  
The world is dead, and gone away  
No reason to laugh, don't bother to cry  
Those pills won't make you better  
You don't even have a reason why...

Just let the children chase the smoke  
One more day in hell  
Make the world a tragic place  
Ignore the weak, and give the rich dollar bills

Because you have your mind made up  
You don't know you're living for  
You never knew me  
I was the only girl

Give in, give in children  
Give in, give in  
Angry hearts and smiles in clay  
Nothing matters to me

You want something from me  
You want nothing at all  
I don't want you to need me  
I'm leaving just like you

So waste away in your reverie  
You'll lose your magic, you'll lose your voice  
And when the violence finds you there  
You'll know you're haunted by a special kind of ghost

Wings of Butterflies

she was stolen by the silence in their eyes  
an angel in the city of stars that shimmered  
how could anyone tell her when she cried  
she was unlike the rest with her wings of butterflies?

they got messed up on their way home  
home to the only place they'd ever really known  
even though they wanted to be everything  
just wanting a reality they can could their own

And she knew it was what she wanted to be  
a writer, an actress, and a singer at only three  
now her tears are only shadows when she's too thin to wear a dress  
and she worries that the sweater hides mistakes she won't confess

in the corners of halls where the lonely children sleep  
wrapped up in their sorrow, as sorrows grow so tired  
he cries because he knows he messed up again  
she's got her nerves unwired, if only she could get it right

she just wants to be happy but she knows, the lie  
when these shadows become faces and reflections of the past  
all the memories, the ghosts of them, start to get the best  
she wants to disappear because she's tired all the time  
so she lights up her cigarettes and flicks the lighter with her pain  
she will do it just to feel the bliss of this escape again  
"you're just as gorgeous as a dancer" he says through a fog of sleep  
but she only feels like cancer when she looks at what she sees  
all the scratches and the bruises, the sun won't make them fade..  
is this loneliness or is it something that she must now convey  
to the crowd of soul-less observers, watching with dismay

she's neither made it back to the place she would belong  
now they sneer and hold regret as if it were wrong  
and for now silently weeping, always when they arrive  
if only she could be like those little butterflies  
and just flutter like an angel up into the shimmering sky

A Blank Daze

She fell asleep hearing the sweet tunes  
to her blue mountains and autumn rain  
but when she woke up all that was there  
were her worries and her heartfelt pain

nothing could erase the promises she made  
to the glorious man living in the sky  
knowing that living was a sacrifice  
who could explain, it was better just to die

when the world let's you down  
when the world still walked away  
from the truth that your love  
was something worth the stay

I wish you knew that I meant well  
I wish you knew that it was hard as hell  
To do the right thing when everything's wrong  
And you know everyone is really alone

I'm sorry for believing in something that wasn't true  
I'm sorry for believing that I was in love with you  
My hearts just something that can't express  
What you need, maybe I am not the one you need

I'm still living in this web of lies and dreams  
Wake me up so I can still keep living  
There's nothing else worth fighting for than everything  
When it all comes down to the truth, you still mean something.

Just a Girl Interrupted

on November 30, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It's just too easy to find yourself in a parallel universe  
Looking backwards to see the face of one you once knew  
She is beautiful now, wearing painted porcelain  
She is so low, so slow, so very thin now  
It's easy to slow down your heart beat  
To watch the clouds passing overhead  
It's easy to watch the hallways rearrange  
And forget what you had meant  
Or wanted to say, the things that get erased  
Every pointless memory, say it was done in vain  
She walked through a tunnel and found herself manic  
She wasn't crazy only she's a schizophrenic  
Now everything's in her way, she's dying to become  
Someone who isn't vain, someone who isn't young  
Her days are numbering, she's too worried about her dress  
Every day she wakes up just to remind herself it's just this  
When her battles are being waged, over empty bottles of sunshine  
Failure felt so ugly, like the ugliest thing you've ever shed  
So she walks through the sunshine with her pain so exquisite  
Something they might adore but probably won't ever visit  
She's washed up and washed over, clean queen spick and span  
She doesn't know the meaning of the letters, so she memorizes his hands  
She's not writing her history, they're writing her lines  
And every little tear fall is some emotional disturbance  
There isn't much else to say, save that nothing matters anymore  
The doors are shut, her veins are sore  
All the constant feeding, bleeding, shitting, sleeping  
Getting up, getting ready, for the lessons learned of a family  
Wasted years, wasted tears, wasted mind, wasted life  
What's the point, she cries, why ignore what I can't even fight?  
The twisting lines, every line blurs, drunk on prescriptions  
And everything's still so fucking obscure  
No logic just escapes her in this world of perpetual ignorance  
Every little lucid smile hurts her like shards in her ribcage  
And when she smiles all they do is look away  
What good are taking chances when you'll give up anyways?  
She wanted to be a writer, she wanted to be something too  
But you took that away from her, that's what you people do  
You slap down, you confine, you trap us in our own minds  
But deep down you simply misunderstood one simple lie  
Every rule that you've abandoned just to make this one true  
I never meant anything and my mind was worthless to you  
Because if it was worth anything to change me into this  
Then you can have back your success, you can have your lives

War

on December 4, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

We settled our bodies down  
Into a place of peace  
Were those memories found

Some days the air was cold  
And we let our hearts get warm  
In a place where we could grow

No tears fell from her eyes  
Angel's whispers of the past  
We meant to sour the skies

So boldly

she would shatter  
The pride of any soldier  
still yearning for a father

We're just toy soldiers  
Marching off to war  
Don't follow, don't follow anymore

In this time of worry  
Of questions needed to be asked  
Whose angrier than her?

For these endless wars  
Of murder, of torture, of terror  
For this endless war waged for ...

We have no choice, we have but no will  
No power over our own hands, still  
To save our world from warring lands

Joy of Writing

on December 7, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

"Writing is a joy, the light amongst the dark, and is the voice of my heart."

Joy of Writing

Sometimes when I feel blue  
I write a happy poem  
And then as I write them  
I think about you

I love the person who  
Can feel such a strong passion  
Sometimes when I feel blue  
I'll write a happy poem

And if you like my poem too  
Then it must be a gem  
I'm happy you enjoy them  
Because I think of you  
Sometimes when I feel blue

Winter Love

on December 9, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Winter secrets buried in white  
As in dark we whispered nightly  
Buried in the drifts of snow  
Secrets told, they'll never know

In the dark we were whispering  
Wandered majestically through white  
As the ice melts from the clouds  
All the secrets that you know

Hymns of starlight, bright light showing  
Solemn eyes that faced the morning  
In the bright light shown she sang  
Of her blossomed love, she sang

Of all the haunting things she kept  
Like blood let upon a spring thorn  
In the winter she had slept  
With a lover, now he's gone.

Goddess of Snow

on December 9, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Gathering tree limbs in the harsh winter  
We stutter and we chatter  
Our bodies feeling cold,  
used, and beyond repair.

We're the helpless ones,  
But she came into this world  
Like a thundering cry  
It ripped through the darkening sky.

Taken far from home  
She slipped like a cat  
In between their eyes  
Darting back and forth then away

As I am gathering wood for the fire,  
Nothing feels more sweet than the cold  
She holds me in her raspy winter embrace  
Can I not bare to fight it any longer?

Can I not bare to stand at all?  
To part from her glance would be to change things  
I choke down these silent romances  
Remembering ...

I inhale and exhale the warmth of her life  
As if I could be something great- but now who?  
Unknown to this crowd, a hopeless one that I am  
A lonely girl with infant dreams

Why do cowards cry? Why do men embrace their tears  
When you know we're only cowards

The sun has gone down as  
The icicles lick the earth  
With spring restlessly trickling  
Beneath shafts of bitter ice

She is the body of a woman  
With her slender form  
And her sleek white hair  
She is pregnant with love

We give our hearts to her  
Our homes and our thanks to her  
And as we comfortably lay there, hand in hand  
a gentle tear silently escapes my eye

Come What May

on December 9, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Passionately, on this wedding day  
Forever, with your loving grace  
As upon your eyes I gaze  
Passionately, on this wedding day  
I will be there for you come what may  
I will be there, this I promise  
Passionately, on this wedding day  
Forever, in your loving grace

Violence

on December 9, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

...who cares only for himself  
And no one else,  
when battles rage and people scream  
No one to dare, to part the silence  
...who cares only for himself.

Bare, born to die...who cares  
For them, who dares  
To care? Not you.

Love's Spring

on December 11, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

your golden hair  
flowing in the radiant sun  
as you traced your forefinger across the page, when time  
couldn't be counted on...  
We laughed, we, as our words danced  
upon stages set, we need no structure  
You are my poetry  
you are the inspiration in my heart.  
Your blue eyes sparkle,  
We find spring-time in its  
warm bath of life, shining in passages of light  
and time is not always something that  
can be counted on.

Road of Delirium

on December 11, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The path of destruction. He laid me down in a tub of crimson dreams  
I followed the yellow bricks down the road of delirium, as everything is not what it seems...  
It doesn't matter now. I have asked all the big questions to no one...  
They weren't ever answered and I am getting bored of asking them

Just give me something that I can hold onto, something that's not crying  
Give me something worth living for instead of these daydreams  
I know it's meaningless you see, I have given them nothing right  
So remember this, I have a need for coffee and I haven't had it yet

I know there's an answer out there somewhere, somewhere over the rainbow  
Of the nihilistic theories, I couldn't even think of the reason why then  
I was standing alone, at the train still breathing, just chasing the pain away  
And you are there. And I think it's almost this question that's embarrassing me

I kept asking about God, if he was a man watching from the balcony  
And over our heads he was standing, and the old grandfather clock frowned  
I was pounding my fists into the door screaming, is this all I am about?  
In this path into the end of the world...a road of delirium.

Destiny

on December 11, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Cast aside from the beautiful land of paradise  
By dirty deeds of the kind we can't name  
I buried your lies in a world that was too kind  
You will discover you worried eyes went to shame

Your destiny is to be left out of the sunshine  
And all the rainbows in the sky can't bare your lifeless pain  
You will spiral out from our beautiful castles  
Of the most curious sunny skies that I reign

Take your stone cold mind, your cold sore soul  
And out of control, you'll go out of control  
And when winter comes you'll be stolen then  
And you know that you can't be saved from it

We are tired of your desperate lifeless visions  
Your mysterious questions that seer with such yearning  
But take it slow, you will learn eventually  
That your time has come, you're fallen from our grace

Forever Alone

on December 11, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

In lost and uncharted lands  
She stumbles amongst her family and friends  
What is the reason she's going on  
When death is around every corner

She thought she could cross over  
Into the arms of someone else  
But he rejected her for another  
And now she's alone, all by herself

In lost and uncharted places  
Empty glasses and vague faces  
A basket of flowers, a memory gone  
Or some kept, but for no one

In a home without a name  
In a land that never was explored  
A broken girl and an empty bottle  
Of things she had kept but never remembered

The times they were together  
And when they were apart  
They still had each other,  
But could they forever?

Those times do change  
Keep her close to your heart

Static Impulses

on December 11, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

calm torrents of static impulses  
rain upon  
disordered sounds of a soul's  
confused momentum...  
fellow nurses bandage  
the bruised mind's ego  
in static TV screens  
of dead head machines

Oblivion

on December 11, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I slip into the naked fog  
wearing my own nakedness  
And this miserable light  
bathing in the aftermath  
Of the sunshine's fainting  
Over hills of snow  
the sound of birds  
enters tired ears  
Remaining but a shadow  
and I swim in this raw  
fatalistic pain  
of dying one more day  
Living for nothingness  
breathing in tune  
with this existential  
maddened world  
I slip into an abyss  
curling like an unfurled red carpet  
straight into oblivion

Road to Ruin

on December 12, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

This is a story about Amy Red  
She kept a box for all her magazines  
Clipped little snippets of stories  
And fed them to her pet rabbit

Conversations went away but then she was ten  
And her parents mumbled through their sleep  
Seldom did their talking comprehend  
The deepness of her soul, it was so deep

Black jackets, and February lovers holding red flowers  
In the autumn mist October fairies making magic rainbows  
Out of the pain that they painted on their toenails  
Drifting through this feather chaos we call life, you know

I said I was sorry  
But it didn't really matter to him did it

Bleed Like Me

on December 12, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

static is playing on the radio  
knives are drawn and ready for the fight  
her voice is heavy, spitting songs of seasons  
nothing feels right today for anything  
it's too late to make an impression  
there's nothing left I have to say  
the conversation's dry and going nowhere  
this is how it feels to be empty and  
never hunger, never ever hungering  
you'll find a better desperation  
to half fulfill your needs  
just remember, baby, you don't want to bleed like me

Sparrow

on December 12, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

A sparrow's voice you can't contain  
She will sing  
And in the meadow beside the girl  
Who tossed a lonesome ring

For she did not like the king  
Ties a lonesome thing  
To save herself to be a queen  
The sparrow, she will sing

Divine

on December 14, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I have the hands of a Goddess  
And I offer you my image  
Made sacred by the spirit in my heart  
I am celebration of the divine  
And the mystery of her bright radiance  
I call forth spring from the deep snowy glaciers  
and far off in the meadows I hear them singing  
I am not just a traveler in this dark cloak that  
I wear, learning to read the sounds  
of a whistling cry  
from the deep dark depths  
of your stubborn haunted demons  
that sour and scorch my toes with fire  
I praise you for your beauty, that you may  
conquer these fiery spirits  
That slip and prance and tiptoe  
Through one world to a next  
I will be there laughing all the way

Blessed

on December 14, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Father sun gave his first light breath of morning  
In a meadow of sorrow's spring, sing,  
She came to him, "Ho Power of the East!"  
And cut through the darkness, she sang  
Of the summers of the flowers of the rain and shine  
In giving to our being, creator, healing  
Faster and faster, the spiral dancers dance  
Knowing and loving your inspiration  
To the north and the south, the east and west  
Our father and mother in heaven, we shall be blessed!

Goodbye Princess

on December 15, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Goodbye Princess, drifting in your sea of sweetness

Sacred hearts of a dangerous game, a lover's kiss  
Another word, whispers, and a promise held close

Another season left in the haunted house on your own  
Looking into these corners for a ghost of your past

How does it feel to be on your own? How does it feel?  
Do you understand the nature of the rolling stone?  
How it rolls on and on...we all fall down  
Goodbye Princess, another place for a real life dream  
And everything you wanted turned into nothing,  
Turned to smoke and mirrors...  
You'll never truly get there.

Never mind the world calling from the heights they will scream  
You never got there, to that place you had seen  
But maybe all these broken dreams won't get you down  
So low, low, can't get any lower now.

Why don't you try and run and hide,  
From all those faces the walls provide  
This is the last time you will sing a happy song  
And lullabies today, it's wrong.

Goodbye Princess.  
You know...the rain is falling and you're gone.

The Witch God.

on December 25, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

November is the wicked month  
Freckles on a window, fixed your eyes to the sun  
Drowned by the whiskey and watered down  
Her pallid memory gone sour and dried out  
The sadness sings and smoke drifting round and round  
and round again their skeletons in perfect fear

Of frantic motions, zig zag signaling in the dark  
The freak-out drag queen in silky sheets  
swims through molecules and steals your shoes  
humming along with the violent abyss  
Blank screen screams for her masochistic resistance  
I sit and stare. I sit and stare.  
Where is the logic, dig deeper dig deeper  
Perhaps we must reach out our arms and embrace  
The light dance in circles and skip our meds tonight  
November is the wickedest month  
Repeating your name in siren lyrics, the profound  
dirt produced a strange resemblance of a zombie  
drunk on the realistic rhythm of the same thing  
It's the same thing the same thing  
Her ears are ringing and she's late for her appetite.

Marian

on December 27, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

In the haunted house  
Beside the rusted cabinets  
Lives Lady Marian  
The ghost of keeping secrets

She stores them in her  
Box, beside the black candles  
And her frock  
She doesn't give a fuck  
Bids the children good luck

In a blanket of silver snow  
Behind a black dark shadow  
She waits intoxicated  
For the hanging of her father  
He loved her, Oh he loved her Marian...

I am in this soaked sadness  
Saturday I was waiting  
Wasted the night-time sleeping  
In a slightly daydream  
In the morning found a demon  
In my dresser wearing lipstick  
Laughing,  
He was laughing...

I am weak to Mary  
She lights the candles, I hold my chest  
Practicing her magic of light  
Life springs to life  
In her sight  
Shaking  
Marian! Marian! Man where have I gone?

Mary Mary quit following me  
Into the blood red of the sun  
No longer so cold and crazy  
Polished like a silver gun

Mad World

on December 30, 2007. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Who wants to be crazy when  
everyone is ashamed  
the same thing gets done over again  
and no one's getting blamed

Everyone is dying sober  
Everyone is living bad  
We could be the perfect thing  
But you were all I had

Who wants to be crazy when  
The same thing is on  
Nothing ever makes sense when  
You're always the same

Everyone is dying sober  
Everyone is living bad  
We could be the perfect thing  
But you were all I had

It's a mad world  
It's a mad world

Who wants to be crazy when  
everyone is ashamed  
The same thing, the same game  
Who is the one to blame?

Maybe I'm the paranoid psycho  
Maybe I'm the one to blame  
I am everywhere and no one knows  
I never wanted to be the same

Black Moon

on January 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

There's a black moon yawning in the sad sky  
There's a pale tired girl yawning in the doorway  
A million little bottles filled with potions  
Secretly immune to every word she wrote  
Her story was sold to a dead teenage boy  
Invisible hands guided her through twilight  
Summer-time came and stretched her burning heart  
Over the yellow earth and made it bleed blue  
I wrote this on the back of my hand just for you

Perfect Light

on January 4. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

In Shades of yellow  
Purple lilacs and sugar-gloss fragments  
candles burning in the airy summer breeze  
Shamans hiding in the tobacco sheds  
Little birds flutter out in the smoky sky  
Born to live here in the perfect sunshine  
In the perfect light

Instincts

on January 4. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I breathe down her cold neck  
In the shower I hear the water drip  
I read through her emails  
When I am alone, I can feel her  
Bones in my bones, heart in my heart  
I know I am helpless, I cannot bare the fact  
That in this world it is illegal to kill  
Because all I want to do more than anything  
Is to destroy the one ugly pure thing  
The thing that makes me ill

Decay

on January 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Cold breath upon steel skin  
No one hears the whistle blow  
Her heart, gaping wound  
Beckons for the lord to fill it  
The void's got a station in her mind  
The smell of sweet tears flow  
We are the art, we are the beautiful

gone

on January 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

All I know is that  
You  
I never knew  
You  
I was too afraid to understand  
You  
Pushed me to my limits  
You  
Watched me fall  
and I  
I  
never knew  
you.

Naked

on January 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She is standing in the shower  
Letting the water drip upon her skin  
And the slick wet feeling  
Leaves her shuddering  
Like a child in the dark  
If only her heart was simple  
If only it were light  
But it sinks like a rock caught  
Deep in her throat

Emptiness

on January 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You may not know how much I love you  
But in these sorrowful dreams I sleep  
In only the shadowy abyss  
In a drunken emptiness I wait  
For the sun to fill me up  
Like old wine on a new year's eve  
Smoke fills his shallow lungs  
Though the darkness is sometimes haunting  
It escapes all recollection  
This is my vocation  
To save the day for you  
My bread, my lover's rose  
The tables have food upon them  
For the hands that falter through  
Windows they hang, from a tree hang  
Tired Alone and sad  
If only I could accompany you  
Those final walks of life  
Windows to the soul.

Harps

on January 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Your old harp  
Left hanging in the wind  
The angry chair sleeps  
Stiff as a bone  
In your left side  
Denied by your mind  
All the bright things  
She doesn't know...  
How the world was  
Before the rain  
Hit the slaughtered ground  
The lonely boat  
Sails on to the trees  
Left in a spin  
The reawakened.

Psychokinetic

on January 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

They were bewitched by the evil eye  
That in the silence suffered  
Her evil has a face  
That you must abandon soon!

Is it a ghost at the door  
Knocking over the furniture  
As the water drips, it doesn't permit  
Explanation as to the culprit

Her body feels so warm  
The rain drips down her silky skin  
In this angelic rhythm  
Speak now or forever hold your tongue.

I hear a shuffling at the wall  
Voices never flee the darkness' call  
She shudders in the night alone  
The mind of the lonely one.

Your darkness overwhelmed my soul  
Overwhelmed the children with her wickedness  
In the old room where the doors still would creak  
There was an old leak

Her heart was still, as old ones feel  
Was it the devil, or was it her?  
Noises in the dark, hold on  
I have seen things but you'll never believe me

she brings with her the knife  
At the wooden table at dawn  
Prays to the harp as it tunes her life  
A mournful celebration of wicked times

Agatha's poor heart feels so still  
As the world spills its cold  
do you remember  
The shrill?

The hand over the clock  
Can you hear the ticking clock?  
If only she could move mountains  
Cast spells of the future, hope for the better

Faded dreams and red riddled roses  
She only wanted to enchant their heavenly eyes  
But this is the price you pay  
For riddling the song away

Only her soul knows, the movement will go  
If only she holds herself very still  
In a sweet solitary surrender  
She will heal them of her splendor

It's the tide that brings the gothic child  
Back to the phantom lips of an angel  
Hear the little pitter patter  
Hold yourself still if you are able.

Blissful Kingdom

on January 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

the stench of your rotten flowers  
fluttering in the autumn breeze  
flowing in the wind  
brushing the air with life  
I twist the blade in  
And see the world release  
Trickled down my bloody bones  
Saying goodbye to all the angels  
Who know that madness hurts  
Who see the art of pain  
And can express the things I  
don't bother to anymore  
There will be revenge  
For all the things that desperately  
Taken away  
I will pull my boat to shore  
And I will be your queen  
I will show you what a kingdom can be  
I will shower the world with flowers.

The Secret Garden

on January 11. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Beyond the garden door  
Is a world of enchantment  
A world of lost faces  
Of the elves and fairies

Bones

Beat

on January 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You want to talk about it  
About the things you can't  
understand  
those yellow feathers in the wind  
The lines they follow when they're tired  
Often collected at the bottom  
The patients in hospitals with broken bones  
The lonely girls without happy moms  
You need to talk about it but it doesn't matter  
Things you never said, never will  
because in reality...nobody really even cares.

Shade

on January 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Join me in my heaven  
Way up in the misty clouds  
Away from all the crowds  
And delusional sounds  
Away from the siren  
And the angry gun  
Join me in my heaven  
Join me for I'm alone  
I am alone  
I have a rose for you  
And it is red and then the sky is blue  
I have a heart that is so true  
And it is blood, it is blood red too  
I'll compliment myself  
But you don't need to  
there's nothing left, but wretched pain  
And so I live my life  
Inside the grey.

Wine

on January 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I want to scream red  
And let the world rip apart  
For my breaking heart

Broken Record

on January 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

So many leftover why's  
Who I was afterwards and who I was before  
Who It was I was that you never knew  
I seem to wonder, I wonder  
I seem to wonder wonder  
After this day is over and  
I was somewhere other than here  
When In sleep they cast their eyes  
And selfish worries and why's?  
Questioning what it was inside her  
She knows it sounds still so obscure  
I am not always who I am and it hurts  
To know your fate is ruled by worth  
Who I am sometimes I don't know  
I wonder though yet I wonder  
And in this place I feel so hollow  
Hollow in this place I feel so hollow  
In this place I feel so alone  
Perhaps it is my heart's painful hope  
Pain, that's gnawing at me and insane  
making me insane  
It seems like a broken record to complain  
To complain that it is this pain  
This pain that's driving me insane  
And all I can do to keep myself sane  
Is to state it plainly.

Bleed for You

on January 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Everything is in absence  
in which nothing is fulfilled  
the ego laying dormant  
all his thoughts are being revealed  
peel away the surface, underneath the skin  
your sweet blood, a rosy red  
I scattered her ashes,  
dancing in the delicate light  
I danced a song to the earth  
Orphan earth and her painful pride  
I am colorless  
I am so monotone and He is fleshless  
I am your backbone. I know you  
Must be feeling alone, I'm breathless  
But I am sick of giving you everything  
I'll cut off my hands, I'll tell you a lie  
I'll make sure it's true  
I want to appease your anger  
So I'll give you my heart of led  
If you want something else then  
I'll give you my pain instead.

Flame

on January 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The ghosts are feeling their way to light  
The storm clouds run away with the night  
Life slips into a red sedate sun  
Paramnesia, we left her unfettered  
The stoic man with dry callous mouth  
Silver vexation, raving murder rosy lips  
destroyed asphyxiation  
Phantasmagorical apparition  
Apathy- translucent and stoic  
Dry your tears or drown in them  
A storm of sorrow and rage  
The translucent dreamscape  
Under a silver moon  
Drowning in the intense flame of pain  
The world was a splinter  
An opaque red ball of fire  
languishing his fruit  
she withers  
like ash  
and  
cold

Illusion

on January 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

put that [violent] man into a box  
let him scream at nothing. . .  
until the keys fall into their holes  
let him shake back and forth  
while the moon is circling

Tell him the truth  
"Yeah," dreams are an illusion  
Strap him to the earth  
Let him feel his senses crave

Let him follow all the signs  
North into the grave  
Whether they are hollow faces  
Smiling or crying without hope

Remember when he's choking  
That he's just an illusion  
And this old place for him  
It may be where he is meant to be

That's what happens when you  
Lose your mind, ya see  
Nothing ever tells a good story  
Like the one you never tell  
Let him bathe in the hatred  
Animosity for human kind  
Tell him it's all over  
Let him know that it's all in his mind

No Wings to Fly

on January 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I want to fly  
But I can't  
The sounds are close to my ear  
But I can't hear them  
I wonder what it means to be  
comfortable  
while I'm waiting in this chair  
for the nurse to come in  
and all I can think is that  
I am ugly and awkward  
as she touches my face  
inspects it for any blemishes  
she finds too many  
and I am only fourteen  
yet I have slept around too much  
I'm not "trying to get pregnant"  
but I've been losing myself in  
these crimson walls  
I would like to stain them  
with the blood of my own youth  
but they already know me  
from the spots on my face  
so go ahead and spit on me  
for being so innocent  
I am in love with their eyes  
because they understand torment

Love Affair

on January 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I met you on the bridge  
You felt me up and handed me a rose  
I loved you from then on  
And you still didn't need love

So why do you hate me  
From the moment I set eyes your way  
You gripped me with satisfaction  
ready for some action

Your eyes are sweet like sugar  
But sour like lemons  
I know you hate me  
As angry as violence

Because this is the end  
Of our love affair  
You know,  
You were never really there.

Egg shells

on January 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Are  
You as  
Dead as I  
am when I can't  
understand what you think you understand  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
every day you die when you go to sleep  
the way I do  
still the same  
as you  
are

Agony

on January 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

eyes that  
seem too tired  
itchy and

stone cold  
hands  
feet walk  
through mist

heart that  
is too pained  
sick and

stone cold  
hands  
lips kiss  
his veins

bones that  
ache always for  
reasons of

this time  
she  
waits like  
her soul

inside your  
open mind is  
no time but  
I lost count

open me up, and pick me apart  
tear out my veins and let my blood  
trickle down your lips  
so that you understand my life  
isn't worth the sacrifice

Home

on January 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I shed my tear because  
She is gone from here  
She is gone, and I still miss her  
But I can feel her presence still  
And she whispers her good will  
in a place of so much love  
That's somewhere where my heart is dear  
Somewhere safe and full of clarity  
I shed my tears because I miss her  
We love her so much more than she knows  
She lives on forever and ever  
Her memories are still there because  
I can see that she is still somewhere  
Still a presence in my soul  
In God's beautiful kingdom  
Heaven and earth  
And I know she is at peace  
Though I want her to be home  
Her place is everywhere  
never truly gone

Broken Hearts

on January 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She met him halfway there

They shared scars and it cured them of their suffering

Wishing away the hate and devouring each other's love

They exhale and simply sleep in each other's arms knowing

That their tears will never mend the pain

Sorrowful blue, sorrowful scars

If only love was as fragile but we know

Love loves to break our hearts

The Witches

on January 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

They were bewitched by the evil eye  
That in her silence suffered  
This witch has a face  
That you must have seen

Is it a ghost at the door  
Knocking over the furniture  
As the water drips, it doesn't permit  
Explanation as to the culprit

Her body feels the warmth  
The water drips down her silky skin  
In this hollow place  
Speak now or forever hold your tongue

I hear a shuffling at the wall  
Voices never flee the darkness' call  
She shudders in the night alone  
The mind of the lonely one.

Your darkness overwhelmed my soul  
It bathed the children with your wickedness  
In the old room where the doors still would creak  
There was a battered ghoul

Her heart was still, as old ones feel  
Was it the devil, or was it her?  
Noises in the dark, hold on tight  
Try to follow a string of light

Bring the black hilted knife  
At the wooden table at dawn  
Pray to the harp as it tunes your life  
A mournful celebration

Her heart feels so still  
As the world spills its cold  
do you remember  
The shrill cry of your soul?

With a hand over the clock  
Can you hear the ticking clock now?  
If only she could move mountains  
Cast spells for the future

Faded dreams and those red roses  
She only wanted to enchant their eyes  
But this is the price you pay  
For riddling the song away

Only her soul knows, the movement will go  
If only she holds herself very still  
In a sweet solitary surrender  
She will heal them of their splendor

It's the tide that brings the gothic child  
Back to the phantom lips of the angel  
Hear the little pitter patter?  
Hold yourself still if you are able.

Will You Stay

on January 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The beauty of the sky is so great  
I see angel's shine above this sunny shore  
It seems my heart is beating strongly  
I could not imagine a life lived before  
I've done it all to get you here

All her stars are in their courses  
All her stars are drowning in orbit  
When all things must pass  
All things must pass away  
Who will ever conquer it  
Who will ever stay

The decay of broken buildings  
Have certain qualities I adore  
I learn to love my emptiness  
Because seasons change and so will I  
I learned it's better to kneel and pray

All her stars are in their courses  
I am setting sail to other places  
All things must pass  
All things must pass away  
But who will ever conquer it  
Who will ever stay

All the stars know the greatness of their shine  
To call an angel something so divine  
It seems to be that no one knows the beauty of love  
Is it all that is left that we can keep strong  
To find a place where we belong

Now the rain is falling down on me  
And I can see into the shining night-time sky  
That all I need is a little time  
To show the stars who I shine to be  
And then we will know how to stay

All things must pass  
All things must pass away  
All things must pass  
All things must pass away  
All things must pass  
But Stay

Vision

on January 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

We were so solitary  
My heart was beating slowly  
Sleeping in the dark  
We were so alone

I felt you close to me  
My soul cried out to be free  
I felt your eyes on me  
You were so beautiful

You smiled through me  
As I gathered their attention  
What did they see  
After not sleeping long

She killed herself that day  
And then she asked us why  
They littered the clouds with smoke  
A cigarette ash sky

But they don't understand  
For they've already seen  
The paint get wasted  
On an art of nothing

Leave this on the dark shore  
Where the sun never touches  
Through these empty rooms  
Let them find a place

Let them read your mind  
And sing for joy  
For life is so quick  
And there's no time to die

Mindless

on January 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

And we all are slaves to our own habits  
Members of a larger family, the brotherhood of heretics  
are you feeling as empty as I am? Looking into the emptiness  
the empty spaces search for something there that reminds you  
of what you truly are, or are you worthless or do you mean it?  
Exclude their personalities and fill in the missing pieces---  
of a hope for political change to see the light in its absence

No, suck them of their flavors and suck them dry  
the muse is in love with a metal beast, not the mechanisms of why  
The one that contains your self-sufficient ego, the stifling truth  
Then the blood-stains don't wash away or the filth  
Nor do their broken spirits remain because of their youth  
And we are all feeling a little stupid, be stupid

The masses would love you for it  
Because if you are the chosen one, you must know God's love  
Let the murder fantasize about your body, so below then above  
As the medicine dissolves under your dry tongue as you  
Empty out those phrases violently telling not one single truth  
We are a family of mindless ghosts perpetuating stagnation  
Yet I assume that YOU were the chosen one

After all we are the masters of our own destinations  
When eternity rendered us useless because of procreation  
We continue this mass evolution of destruction  
People perpetuate the institution  
The tongue-tied god loving spoon-fed world of separation

We live in a world that is made of matters which don't exist  
If you existed then you only existed for the absence of a fantasy  
You're nothing but wasted flesh, a life of isolation  
This is the law, stay busy and keep on imagining  
Until you purge yourself of words until your phrases run dry  
And you realize that you are never-ending emptiness

But stay mindless  
You spend you days in a trance of doing good for a cause  
or spend your days working because you're working for another  
You spend your days loving and caring for an ideal  
That human life is not inherently evil  
But if you aren't a hypocrite than believe what you say

Yes humans are worth their innocence and deserve to live today  
But what is the purpose of life or is it merely for an infatuation  
\- imagine- life would exist without any reason, without a reason  
then it exists for an objective, and the objective is what you create,  
creation is creation---where is the original design?

But what is the purpose other than stay in your own life-  
we are here to change what we see or seek to change what we see. But this never-ending oblivion is destructive of the truth,  
oblivion is the ultimate destruction.  
Oblivion is the end of our existence, or the end of His promise-  
can we control chaos?  
What is the source?

What began before we stumbled upon our own minds and found ourselves in forms and bodies that could not grasp the concept of oblivion.  
If you can't grasp the concept of oblivion then are you brainwashed?

What is THE truth? What is your reality?  
What is the meaning of life anyways?

The Empty

on January 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Life is like a chain  
Link  
Wrapped around two cold wrists  
While demons are laughing  
at me  
And you're  
screaming humanity through microphones  
And your ears and veins are splitting  
And I can't stand the sound of  
all the little people on their way  
to Hell  
Can we learn to figure it out  
Control the scouts  
Redemption aunt found  
Can't beat me down  
Can't make me into your own  
Trip on these, bullet holes  
in your soul  
Try me on for size, bury the voodoo doll  
In the silent ache, silent halls  
Mastery of telekinesis, dripping down your veins  
Overwhelmed by ugliness of his voice  
I can't bear the hatred of men  
Men and their solemn  
lust.

Last Night

on January 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Last night  
sorrow crept under me

let itself slide beneath my  
pale milk white skin

as the piano played on-  
the violent melody  
of an oppressed desire  
And I dreamt of  
the many oppressed desires  
That could not be touched  
That could not be found out

How does one feel when  
Her art has been crushed  
Under one sleepy eyelid

Hurt.

Winter Ice

on January 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

looking out from my window  
at the bare bones of the quiet  
wintry earth, covered in the cold gloss of  
icicles that fondle her  
with drizzling  
wonderings

To love Glass

on February 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Glass  
To love Glass &

speak with gentle hands

study your hands  
when you find mountains in them  
take a journey  
when you find a path  
follow it down  
to your crossroads  
then find a lake  
take a drink of the water  
when you can drink  
be careful not to fall in!  
take a drink  
this is your poetic essence

This is your art  
Make Glass

Now you know glass  
Now you know the art  
Of poetry  
It is fragile  
Soft and Gentle until  
it will break  
like you and I break  
That is poetry

The Empty

on February 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

In the Empty

As you slowly inhale and exhale  
Finding nothingness  
As your breathing gets heavy

I learn to only sigh  
When the weight is on my back  
And the pressure is built

Of four thousand pins  
Like the devil knows how to  
Find my body  
somewhere inside his  
Crooked shadows

Kneeling in the dark that seems to  
quiver  
looking for a recognizable sound  
That says "Here I am! I have been found..."

I knock at the door  
And no one answers

And so good faith finds me safely  
In the empty  
Finding nothingness  
And apathy.

Sunrise/Insomnia

on February 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Why do your lips tremble so...  
As the gentle rivers flow...  
As the seasons come and go...  
Did you know?  
Did you know?  
Why do you walk so tall...  
When you could hunch down low...  
When the earth is feeling slow  
As she spins around alone  
Did you know?  
Did you know?  
Why are you troubled by the sound...  
Why are you troubled by their eyes...  
Do you worry that their hate  
Will crush you down with petty lies  
Did you know?  
Did you know  
That the seasons will flow  
Then the breath of life will glow  
And you'll know  
Then you'll know.

Wired...

on February 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The moon smiles down on sober eyes  
with dreamy dreams and lullabies  
with her poison and her black cat eyes  
she is disguised by the stench  
on her breath  
smells like the Irish, like whiskey and death  
She's writing her poetry  
because she's feeling tired  
And lacks comprehension  
when she's been up all night wired  
It already feels like its evening again  
And It's 9 0 9....

"Oh what a gift it is to be  
A fairy, a fairy!  
Oh what a gift it is to be  
To be one of the fairy!

The Moon

on February 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She saw the moon die  
A full bloom flower, a beautiful orchid in the sky  
For this woman of the softest tears  
She saved herself from their love

Found God in intoxication  
What is a chance? How we've learnt to dumb the soul..  
Our wild minds growing dizzy  
With a loss of self-control.

She saw the moon die  
In a cigarette ashen sky  
Tell her please, will you tell my mother  
There is a man that would love her.

They sleep in separate beds  
She's been gone for three weeks  
And won't be back again.

Sometimes I dream that she would  
drive so far away, far from all these things  
she never bothered to say.

What is a child to a mother?  
My faith melts in the azure rain.  
Will the poets never understand  
the depth of such fragile pain  
Like the smile of passion  
Bathing her skin in smoke  
Just one more--inhale and exhale  
Such a task but to no avail.

Visions collapse, and so I search for  
Painkillers in my mother's drawer  
To numb the feeling, of the separation  
This divorce of similar.

To embrace the flame in contementment  
Burn on, burn on you crazy child  
And never burn away

Safety

on February 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Spiritual confessions to one minute pulse  
the Nuns are in procession  
expressing the infinitely impossible  
but so I show you the minute  
In the tiny pebbles in my glass  
and you will wander, so wander and maybe you will  
ponder flowers there  
Reaching the stars with exacting grace  
Pace the room, face the gloom  
Find your emotions all locked tight  
In a barred cell, no journey from hell

The exactness of the Christ  
His Bible is a Play  
Scene of mundane and chaos  
Spitting out freckles

I am dopamine, dumbed down  
I am dopamine, dumbed down

Find solace is so fond of the mess  
And one more caress  
And I shall listen to the drumming  
The screaming in my ears  
For the poetry of madness  
Is not enough  
You need the mystery of your own life  
Keep it hidden tight  
Lock your arms to your chest  
And emotions fill the glass  
Of wine you hold to your lips  
Bless them all  
Bless them all so  
They learn to

Invoke words  
With nothing but

Machinery

Happy Birthday!!

on February 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It's your birthday, your special chance  
To save your sorrow, to feel the romance  
Beautiful roses all in bloom  
This is the special day that you were born

You have great friends, you should celebrate  
Go out on the town, have some fancy cake  
Invite that special someone, whoever this may be  
Go ahead and dance and sing, just have a birthday party!

Birthdays

on February 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Oh the light is harsh, the rain is falling  
The candles flicker, what chitter chatter  
I find this music is so appalling  
My birthday wish is to be alone here  
In the darkness with the shadows of dreams  
I wait and I wait for no birthday cheer  
For melancholy is not what is seems  
Just wait till' all of my hopes disappear

And I could not get out of this warm bed  
Let them see the tears as they all fell down  
And would not tell them what they had not said  
That I was alone, felt truly alone.  
I don't mean to say...it's not my wish~  
But don't you think that there's more than this?!

Happy Birthday!!

on February 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It's your birthday, your special chance  
To save your sorrow, to feel the romance  
Beautiful roses all in bloom  
This is the special day that you were born

You have great friends, you should celebrate  
Go out on the town, have some fancy cake  
Invite that special someone, whoever this may be  
Go ahead and dance and sing, just have a birthday party!

Such a Doll

on February 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She has the world  
wrapped around her little finger  
And in her perfection  
She slips through

All the world's eyes  
Winking as she passes  
With her sweet angelic muse  
Dancing as they glance at those

Stunningly gorgeous eyes~  
What a baby doll!  
We can't do a thing but adore  
You Oh yes yes yes  
We adore you..

Keeping you safe in this house  
White panels like pale white skin  
Soft soft porcelain  
glitter angel baby doll

spread her out before him  
Like soft butter she is  
In a hotel room  
Smoking those cigarettes...

Her body is not sore  
No, it is never too tired  
For the freckles or the bruise  
Oh how easy it is to

Baby Doll,  
Your ears don't feel it  
But he's whispering  
You're Misunderstood  
Nothing  
Nothing  
Nothing  
Baby doll.

Oh she can't hear a thing!  
And you're too busy laughing  
Im singing singing singin  
While I have a knife behind my back  
Ready to stab at her innocence  
Oh angel, keep on breathing.

My Doll,  
You're perfect just the way you are  
Never hide those beautiful scars  
But give it a try...try to hide your heart  
You'll never escape my watchful mind.

Always looking you through  
Inside of you, I'm inside of you  
You'll be free once you learn to shine  
Far away from the dark, away from the light~

And her illusions never cease to calm  
Your flashy desperation  
So bear the burden  
Jealously hidden here

I want to see you flutter  
So the world knows it's true  
They gave everything to you  
They gave everything to you

Stroke those beautiful curves  
And charm this queen  
Make her beautiful,  
In your mind she is

Such a doll.

The Black Mass

on February 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am Witch of the Great dressed in a black silk gown  
Skin of softest milk and eyes of chestnut brown  
Tonight we shall gather in this small room  
And together we will keep sacred this rite of doom.

I, the Witch of the Dark Goddess do swear  
To keep all of these secrets hidden right here  
And to save those who have been properly prepared  
To be secure and free from evil ensnared

Well within a circle such as this  
As these forty strokes of purity are obtained  
Reveal the torment in your demon soul  
"I shall never give in to the enemy!"

I exhale my sweet solemn truth  
"Shall not reveal them, or suffer the penalty!"  
Sisters, I swear upon my life  
To punish all the demons with this  
Black hilted knife!

Ego sum te peto et uidere queo!  
By these powers, the dead shall arise!  
From the kingdom of the chosen  
To the altar of the flesh

Where blood and wine Was chosen  
And was sacrificed  
And given in to your evil  
Let the ghosts join us this foul evening  
With the birds screeching in torment  
As the black beetles buzz  
All will suffer your abandonment!

All The fowls have awoken  
As The once chained link is now broken  
As the demons surround  
She is ready to cast them back into the ground

And as the dark magician  
With his lost spirit departed  
Searches for his power  
Whose soul will they devour?

Her windows are all shut  
The bones of the witch  
Burning fire hearth on hill  
Will this birth conquer their evil?

Feed the goblins in the night  
Who will win the battle for life  
Who will finally gain control  
Of the window to the world  
and the lowly witch's soul?

Kitchen Knives

on February 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I want your blood to be the heart  
Spread across these yellow walls  
Like lipstick and sugar melting down  
And I'm a sociopath sociopath sociopath now

Can't hold it in, violent silken thighs  
Wouldn't you love to hold her tight  
And this is my mind- no it's my mind  
Not your mind  
You will pass  
You must accept this.  
You must accept this.

And the train is driving me to it  
And the world is whispering "Beautiful!"  
Until it feels senile.  
And they're laughing, laughing bored smiles

And the art of human waste is beautiful  
And we're just sitting in our chairs and watching  
The show, because this is just what I figured it would be  
I want your suicide to be an act

Like a singer, like a dancer  
I want you to see me in the wind  
Carried like your mother  
Tears wont sparkle nor shine as well as the wildness

Does when it kills her  
And she is sorry, sorry, sorry  
I want to show you what confusion is  
Domination and pride

And it hurt  
And it hurt  
We're all perfected.

You will go  
You will pass on  
But I will swallow all these knives  
And choke myself from the inside out

Because I have a reason to leave you  
Stranded, God, because you are so perfected...  
because you made me stand there  
And in my honesty, I think I've confused you  
With our kitchen knives.

Nightmare

on February 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

demons sent angry men  
gypsies  
and monsters  
twirling in rainbow glitter  
my twisted soul  
shackled in a closed in room  
I found a window  
opened it  
let the cool air in  
And when the light faded to black  
I woke up.

Dream Boats

on February 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The blue skies wonder  
Why the moon's silver rays  
Always fall so gently  
Upon the eyes of their lovers  
Hearts sweet with honesty  
Dreamboats floating on the horizon  
All alone in a shining room  
Searching and forever searching  
Just to find a reason  
To love  
But it isn't always enough to  
Simply fall away  
Never did the blue sky wonder  
So much that day.

My Boy

on February 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Perfect blue eyes  
Beautiful, with their quizzical joy  
Laughing along the way  
Through the bright sunshine,  
My boy  
He's the star in my sky  
He's the wish in the well  
He's my heart, he's my  
sweet little angel  
A true gift from above  
I wrapped him in my love  
with a gentle pink  
kiss  
My little boy's smile is  
wise with innocence.

Falling snow

on February 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Roses  
like white pillows  
grow so high in her mind  
reminding her of angels or  
falling snow

I Wander

on February 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I wondered why I wandered so far  
Followed the sky, followed my heart  
Now it's as if I'm all out of time  
I wonder why I felt so alive

I carried on, her body was gone  
When I was high, it was still mine  
Some days I laughed, some days I cried  
I wondered why I felt so alive

I am not broken, I am not alone  
She sings so sweetly& with her song  
She could tear the world from their eyes  
I wonder why it is a crime

I wander far, I wander around  
I give a smile, but can't you see now  
They don't understand  
I wonder why it is a crime to hold your hand

I wonder why I wander far  
Following the skies, looking for stars  
I carry on when I feel shy  
I wonder why I feel so alive

I was never broken, not ever alone  
I was laughing, never going home  
She sang so sweetly, then she died  
I wonder why I feel so alive

I wander far, I wander around  
I give a twirl, can't you see the sound  
It would not tear the world from your eyes  
I wonder why I feel so alive

Rotten Tomatoes

on February 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Hatred is sweet- it is a dark and yellow bruise  
That beautiful wandering muse,  
So tainted and confused  
and it stains the  
hands like dirty cigarettes-- ash smudged violently  
across her bitter arms and his chest

with her fingernails she scratches at the flesh  
back burnt and eyes sore, eyes itch to feed the burning sorrow

Crushing, it crushes your heart under the pressure of the  
violent hurt  
Must perfect your suffering, you must perfect the art of  
swallowing  
cover the bruises with your dirt  
Those beautiful people can pass us and we're so -misunderstood-  
under appreciated

Soaking in sadness, But I can feel! Oh god I can feel and it is real...  
And I should feel! with a heart or not...  
I am flesh bone and blood  
I bet that makes you feel mad, darkened, and so fucking sad,  
but the blackness it swells, as her heart floods and breaks,  
gaps within her chest,  
Open holes- your lines across my flesh  
Oh emotion, oh suffering for  
lovelessness  
Beautiful, cause I almost died  
for this.

Porcelain

on February 11. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She has the world  
wrapped around her little finger  
And in her perfection  
She slips right through

All the world's eyes  
Glancing as she passes by  
With her sweet angelic pose  
And dancing as they watch those

Stunningly gorgeous eyes~ secretly  
What a whore! Is this my life?  
You can't do a thing, but we adore  
You Oh yes yes yes  
We adore you

Keeping you safe in this house  
White panels like pale white skin  
Soft soft porcelain  
She is our sin

spread her out before him  
Like soft butter she is spread  
In a hotel room  
Smoking those cigarettes on the bed...

Her body is not sore  
No, it is never too tired  
For the fragile bruises  
Oh how easy it is to lose it

You're an attention whore  
Your ears don't feel it  
But he's whispering  
You're Misunderstood by it  
Nothing  
Nothing  
Nothing  
Attention whore

Oh she can't hear a thing!  
And you're too busy laughing  
And Im singing singing singin  
While I have a knife behind my back  
Ready to stab at her innocence  
Give me no slack!  
Oh angel, keep on breathing.

My Doll,  
You're perfect just the way you are  
Never hide those beautiful star bright eyes  
But give it a try...try to hide your heart  
You'll never escape my watchful  
mind.

Always looking you through  
Inside of you, I'm inside of you  
You'll be free once you learn to shine  
Far away from the dark, away from the light~

And her illusions never cease to calm  
Your fleshy desperation  
So bear the burden  
Jealously hidden

I want to see you flutter  
So the world knows it's true  
They gave everything to you  
They gave everything to you

Stroke those beautiful curves  
And charm this queen  
Make her beautiful  
In your mind she is still

Just a whore.

Life

on February 11. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I'm gonna be angry  
Gonna beat you up baby  
because it's all I feel

Your Valentine

on February 13. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Say goodbye, say say say goodbye  
It wasn't a famous suicide  
You had to die but I love you  
Saying your goodbyes to

To all these tiny *pills* that they gave us  
Saying farewell I wish your heart well  
To all the sunshine and what they made us  
I will be your  
Happy Valentine now

They say that the darkness  
Holds you tight like a child  
Like a lullaby a sweet sad lullaby for  
An angel

In a sweet sugary coma  
We sleep bound together  
You were my blood vessel  
Now you're an empty vein  
You were my Valentine

My love of my life  
I need you alive  
I need you alive  
Keep breathing  
Don't stop screaming  
Don't say goodbye  
I will be your valentine

But her heads down low  
The words are her bullets to her now  
Saying goodbye to the rain  
Take me back to the rain

My Valentine  
Don't die  
Don't go  
Sweetie don't say goodbye

I love you.

Whispers

on February 13. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I hope you don't think it's all lost  
I'll hold your hand through this  
I tried to bring you up with a flower  
I know flowers are weak and their petals fall  
I wish you could know everything in me  
I wish you could really feel what I feel really  
Sometimes I realize when I look in the mirror  
All the truths of times, just make it disappear  
I want to bring you back to life, but time's wearing thin  
I want to bring the love of my life back to me again  
My heart hurt with all the things you said to me  
Beating me up with your hardened words  
Hurts like silence, tastes like violence  
In these aching hours I've bled alone for years  
Waiting for my child to come for me to take her home  
I wish I wasn't alone, I am alone alone alone  
God why have you forsaken us, God why have you left  
Why don't these girls understand, in their pretty lace dresses  
Confess your sin, little white princess, cover up the bruises  
On your skin the stretch marks show, I don't really know  
How deep the dagger went, how much they tormented  
I hope you don't think it's all lost, it's all gone  
I'll hold your hand, will you hold mine?  
I tried to bring you up with a flower  
I know their petals fall, but if these words mean anything  
they're for you, yes, all.

Love

On February 13. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It is that warmth that begins  
Deep within  
And grows  
When the cold can't bite  
too hard  
You grab on to anything  
Just to hold you  
Just to warm you  
up and you know that  
the only good songs were about love  
The only good movies had  
happy endings  
Love, it is not a joke  
But it'll have you choking  
on words  
And violently screaming  
Through walls  
Love

.  
That  
is  
all

That matters.

Our Strange Love

on February 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Cold-hearted pillows muffle screaming children

Acid coated candy spilling into your drunk hipppie dream  
I like the twisted things you say when you don't know what you mean

I'm always wishing on stars when their isn't one in the sky  
I feel so loved by you so loved that I could just let myself fly  
Falling through the clouds and landing deep deep down in your eyes

We let ourselves dry, dry of love, dry of the feeling of it  
Let the hurt mold ours souls so we can't handle any of it  
So the stars don't shine, so we wish on our bruises instead  
At least the vodka took her somewhere dreamy, those words she never said

And the pillow holds you baby, it holds you so tightly  
Cold and shivering in the lonely autumn nights  
You never said you were sorry for putting up such a fight  
Hands up, say your prayers, never say goodnight  
Because you are my sunshine, my one and only sunshine

We sleep and we pray, on the highest cloud stretch our arms and say  
I love you, I love the lord today  
And he lets us in, he lets us inside him  
Because you know, love, is for sinners  
And I will sin, sin sin sin again and again  
Because you are mine, will you be mine?

My Hero

on February 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

&& You had me wrapped around your *heart*  
Loving you was the h-a-r-d-e-s-t part  
Perfect isn't easy, when YOU are all -alone-  
&& You had me like I was the only one

&& I wanted you to come home, wanted you inside me  
There was too much for us to live for and you had me  
I  
Just  
wanted  
Love

It wasn't a joke you see? But who were they to judge  
I was so so free  
&& I thought I was yours truly  
Until I learned about your history...

you were too much older too easy for me to break  
&& Loving you was the b*u*l*l*e*t  
How many pretty little pills does it take?  
I'm the stupid girl and you're my stupid hero

I just wanted loving  
Loving  
&& I was too dirty  
Too pretty for a sucker  
Like you were.

Too Hurt to Die

on February 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Vanishes to dust  
The world will xvanishx  
&& your imperfect trust  
Will become what it was

You wash your --surface-- freely  
Of all those bitter stains  
The red scars, the white pills, the hurtful pains  
And nothing gets rid of the reasons

He laughs and laughs  
It's beautiful! He cries  
When she overdosed  
On your lullabies

A sky full of love  
Her stony heart wanting his hands  
Something so perfect and  
Nothing says love like I can

Wondering coldly  
About the surface above  
If she is human  
With this imperfect love

If she is is able to fear  
Why can't she hear the sound  
Dead birds sleep in peace  
Screaming in her mind

A long time ago  
She fell deep between the cracks  
But she will be back

~Angry Earth~

on February 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The rising rocky mountain sneers menacingly  
boasting with an ochred arrogance  
and determinedly satisfied with herself  
Whilst sodden autumn bows head down low  
sparkling in leaves of glory and shadow

when a day reposes with stark determination  
The moon reclines in dark amber light  
caressing the earth and all who inhabit her  
and the night can pass by quietly dreaming  
as their chilled pride jeers at a free family

And her head is pounding, his hands are molding  
Crystals from the biting coldness so bitter  
Lightning cries for her eyes of lightning breath  
Her glistening wings are ready to fly away

She's teasing dirty men with their rusted pride  
Trying to fight them, don't let them back inside  
But the more she laughs the more wickedly they scream  
Be sweet like that angel, you're my favorite dream

and as they're crying themselves to sleep softly  
Cold Winter sleeps alone in ecstasy,  
and amongst the everglades and rotting corpses  
tormented nature ascends us all so violently

The spring sun now smiles like angels dressed in orange  
the sodden ground turns a shade of brown  
nature displays her angry heart wrapped in thorns  
With one satisfied forlorn frown

Earthly Shadows

on February 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The rising rocky mountain sneers menacingly  
boasting with an aching arrogance  
and determinedly satisfied with herself  
Whilst sodden autumn bows head down below  
sparkling in leaves of glory and shadow

when a day reposes with stark determination  
The moon reclines in dark amber light  
caressing the earth and all who inhabit her  
and the night can pass by quietly

and as they're crying themselves to sleep softly  
Cold winter sleeps alone in ecstasy  
amongst the everglades and rotting corpses  
tormented nature ascends us all violently

The spring sun now smiles like angels dressed in orange  
the sodden ground turns a deeper shade of brown  
nature displays her angry heart wrapped in thorns  
With one more satisfied frown

Never Mine

on February 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am dreaming about ghosts

as they're moving with tossed jealousy  
and raging brightly in their love.

Whilst forlorn winter laughs wickedly  
glistening from deep  
within  
age rests gently  
life nurtured and renewed  
as the skies tear apart again

I cannot bare to be away from you  
I sit upon the bay awaiting that "special day"

when our lives are sealed together  
You were already inside my heart

Open it now and take a look  
Is this is a fairy tale?

How your scent lingers in the room when you have gone  
It is a womans heart that calls my own...yours

Open me up and look inside

Do you know how many lifetimes I have searched  
Your presence makes the roses bloom  
your arms, strong and comforting  
My heart has left its dwelling place  
You are a shooting star falling down

It's this special friendship  
My body will feel no touch without you  
As you glide across the room to join me  
Teach me how it is to be true

Remember, true love's worth waiting for  
Heavily weighed by your heated passion  
An endless game of two souls in love  
But you're not ever going to be

mine.

Two Lovers

on February 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I watch you run your tongue across your painted lips  
With your smiley eyes and happy grin  
In clover we lay about

Upon their faces they rise and fall  
Nothing looks as alive as my lover's smile  
There are no false hopes, I lay my heart bare to you  
Filling me with joy  
Compromising to no one but you

Succumbing to such beauty, held in dreams from slumberous sleep  
Give my heart a home  
Gasping  
As our eyes meet in a daze  
I'm no longer frightened

Fiery passions building so high  
Such sensual loving is hard to find  
It is so true  
A kiss like that comes only from you

Your laughter echos like chimes  
I feel the magic of the night embracing us  
We walk together  
On lovers lane  
This is a rarity  
Delightful sensations, a sensual treat

Hands as gentle as a warm summer breeze  
Guiding the paths as two lovers  
meet

My Lover

on February 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I kiss your lips and wipe your eyes  
So special, so sweet, these tender lies  
Beautiful dreamer, wake up for me now  
We'll get it together somehow

You make me gasp and catch my breath  
at the sight of your loveliness  
Marry me in the sunshine  
Will you be mine?

And in a dusky-voice I pull you in  
My Sweet Eve of bitter sin  
Do I dare speak of these thoughts in my head?  
My bright rose of many petals red

The reason for my every emotion  
Butterflies flutter in my stomach  
When you're here again  
Your lips, tender and sweet

The love of two held in truth  
and in truth we kiss passionately  
Your body and my body entwined as one  
Two lovers and a silver gun

I feel the magic of the night embracing us  
Hoping and blessing sending nurturing  
Give in  
Let me caress you  
What I would do for just one kiss of your lips

If I touch you here can you feel the heat?  
Just to hear one single soft spoken word escape your mouth  
I am thankful to tears for you my sweet  
The soul of an angel, I hold in my heart

And the softness of your hair  
I long for you  
Meeting as one  
Stroke me  
While you slumber, dream of me

Softly kissing my lips  
You're so beautiful  
I look upon the garden outside my window and sigh  
You comfort me in stormy times

Back arched and filled with ache  
Don't you see, life disappears?  
Moans of sweet release  
Protect me from all the fears

Standing in the wings of my life  
I am thrilled  
By your warm soft smile and firm embrace

Finding Him

on February 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I can't stop loving you...no matter what you do  
Whispered breaths so sweet  
I see you as the innermost core  
Wont you be mine today?

The passion of two lovers held in truth  
The sweetest thing that could ever be  
And my eyes glow with the excitement  
You're my little reverie

This blessed night atones for all  
As our eyes meet in a daze  
Softest silken skin to love so much  
Don't you agree this feels so right?

If only you would make my pulse race  
Wishing that it all could be real  
Electric sparks ignite us now  
Caring for my lover here

Wanting what you have to offer  
Your peaceful breath shelters my own  
From your sweet breath  
Whispers, will you stay forever?

Let us hold hands and go the mile  
I'll wait for the day that you'll touch me  
You'll kiss my delectable lips, a sultry hue of red  
And maybe then you'll be out of my head.

Graffiti Walls

on February 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Electric sparks in socket walls  
Still justice rings out as  
Loneliness drips  
Laughing kids slipping on the slide  
Thunder rumbles like a deep-belly laugh  
Searching for the next shot to quench this thirst  
trembling . . . with hatred and pain  
in the turbulent rip tides of my life  
and power plays the game  
still there's time  
but the shadow of a hare, leapt  
And the shaping of forests washed away  
There's a fly on the wall, a spider watching. . .  
In my bored prison I sleep as you you  
you rock these walls  
and shapeless clouds turn into illusions  
adorned with striking similarities  
Plastic hooves hit the icy vapor  
and the drunkard rolls of laughter  
shapes the forests as  
The letterbox clatters spewing postal messages  
My choice starvation in the  
Graffiti walls, colours bound to my mind.

Smart

on February 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Ashtray stud  
Licks his lips  
And then thud  
Drink then slips

Silent Moon

on February 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Oh silent moon...what is your secret?  
do you sleep in a tormented bed  
Oh silent moon...how dark is her silken sky  
Is she good enough to die

It's Hard to say Goodbye

on February 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I wish it was easier  
To say goodbye  
But it's better I don't  
Just to let it pass  
On high  
And let the wind brush me  
Away  
From this petty little day

But it's so hard to know  
they can't touch you then  
Can't even smell you on their breath  
You slipped between those jagged cracks  
And the ice cold is all you can take

Swallow the pillows  
And wash it down with icecream

You know, it's like a lullaby  
Neverending

.

Rebellion

on February 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

No one wants to be covered in red  
No one wants to see you, uncovered  
Chained, stripped  
Boundless

Blood is the stuff for movies  
And your veins don't hold that much  
And bullets don't always blacken

the sky like this kind of pain  
Holding loose, time is slipping away, letting go  
Sleeping in, washing your stains down the drain

Filling bodies, filling heads and never never  
Watching the world drown in regret  
It's hard to lift the rock  
But the rebels down need to be voiced

They're everyday in everything you deny  
In this passive pink plantation  
One ironic sensation, couldn't gun down  
Just one desperate human

Dark

on February 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Light

beaming down on my sore eyes  
breaking me  
into tiny pieces  
shivering cold in the coldness we see lines...as thin as your veins

covering the bruises

that you adapted to your stylish grace  
padding the blotches with sweet  
powder

showering the beautiful in glitter and shine  
shadows escape the darkness

when laughter resounds, no one hears- nobody listens

everyone left...  
.  
.  
but that is the way we play

with our hands tied behind our backs

and only the strongest will survive  
only the ones with the guts to kill and show you what it means to be

ill.

I feel ill, I see a ghost in the mirror

a monster

an addict holding the cold gun to my neck  
just one motion

pull it down over your head

learn to

torture

and rocking rocking rocking

selfishly

to the sound of your pulse

I can hear it in the walls  
Peeling the paint off your ears  
I can taste the salt of violence  
And it feels like butter  
on my tongue

But ignorance is bliss.

So beauty is in absence.

And no one will ever be alone like I am right now.

Don't you understand?

There's no gun, no hole in my heart, no bruises, no demons,

No evil.

Dried of their warmth

Their skin is so soft and menacing  
These people follow me from the day into the darkness

Where the obscene ventures to pry

Into my skull.

Voices

on February 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Blanketed in a cloudless vapor  
that drowned out the voices

Black and White

on February 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Light descends down  
onto this fragmented window  
I press my cheek upon the cold glass and imagine   
these images fluttering away from me

I am somewhere sweet, wrapped in your shade and dazed beyond   
your repair  
I am not this black and white project  
that was created to inspire

I am free from these lines, edges that inflict transparency  
This not so fortunate girl who was adolescence's fringe  
and I cannot try to speak  
Thoughts jumping around in this pretty fantasy

If only I could tell you through a cut up  
photograph the depths that you'll never  
see the casket where  
my father sleeps in his riddled dream.

Ghostland

on February 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Malignant mountains shake  
Beside my window they tower  
And I am down on my knees  
From within my head I hear a distant piano  
Playing from deep below the shadows  
Invisible fingers pinch my cord  
And I am alone in the dark  
It is still a tin can heart  
Red goats feast upon my soul  
As the hermits cloak my life in gloom  
Slowly muttering like rainfall  
And their voice throws off the storm  
Cackling, like autumn she laughs  
The sleeping earthworms resurface  
In the soggy dew and grasslands  
I am sleeping on pins and needles  
It's so beautiful to you  
Watching from the corners you can still  
Breathe in everything black and blue  
I need their embracing thunder  
But there are rules that I am facing  
I must be low and slink through the dark  
Stabbing pins into my aching heart  
I need a mirror so I can see myself go blind  
Going insane is all about believing in mankind  
my body uncovers and is seductively drained  
as this ardent flame carries  
the scent of murder on his lips  
Pulling me through a world of ghosts  
With just his fingertips

Shadow Play

on February 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I don't know how to tell you  
How beautiful you look...in those cute white shorts  
With a malevolent smirk, I take you in closely  
then, you make a pitiful squeak...I stare into you  
boring into your delicate frame

Then as I begin take in my surroundings  
You strip naked in the rain, blood soaking  
The scene, the dark musky scent of your perfume  
It arouses me to no end, the blood of your heart  
the beauty of your vile rotting corpse  
I'm tracing one hand lightly over your  
Beautiful neck, then sliding it over  
Your sweet little nose

Gingerly cutting you apart  
Your blood is like fresh raspberries to me  
I want to thrust myself into you deeply  
As you despair like a pitiless star luminous and angry  
Panties clinging to your rain soaked body  
The light dwindles and you are at my mercy  
As you redden, the shadows play upon your beauty

The Flood

on February 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Spring rain tumbled as the flowers abandoned their bodies  
Sighs of grasses swayed violently, mothers cried hopelessly as  
The Sun reclined in the darkening blue sky  
As the ocean tides moved upon a silky shoreline  
The sky turned into a shimmering jet black  
A golden sea of moving water made pathways through tunnels  
The raging waters grew, spreading a dark green prayer  
Life continued as she murmured softly in ironic shades of blue  
As one solitary leaf fluttered far from what they had known

Blur

on February 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Soldiers lining up in single file  
Then one by one they enter  
As if they knew who she was  
She's keeping still but everything blurs

Following the winding river  
With a gentle tear she cries  
As the shade makes another entrance  
Driving into her mind

Blue shadows rising  
Out of the feathered sky  
It doesn't really matter, yeah  
she whispers, "I wanted to die"

Covers swooping down over her eyes  
Life is moving by too fast  
and it is the end of darkness  
The sunshine smiles at last

Bursts of life, she's slowly leaving  
Her breathing shyly escapes  
high up there between the silent hills  
She swallows more of what he rapes

It is time to wash away their walls  
And no one hears but everyone sees  
The immediate flash, the little echo pass  
The pearls of sweat when no one believes

As the night swallows her mind  
Awake within a waking dream  
In the place that she desired  
Time rolls over again

Sick

on February 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Her heart is so cold  
They drift alone like lifeless bodies alone in shadows  
Headless body no home, an invisible hand reaches  
She screams and dies then she arises  
The pride, inside- a violent cry of a why  
She has no eyes no mind no life  
Melody drifting through the door  
And I am just another whore  
I am slipping through your veins  
And you are screaming at the guilty trains  
That stumble in the bedroom of your hell  
And I do not know you but you know me too well

The Night Goes Quiet

on February 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The moon casts crimson tints  
As shimmering stars shoot past  
The roaring lake fumes ceremoniously  
Smiling with bloated jealousy  
Snakes are hissing loudly in mirth  
The medicine man kneels upon ground  
in shades of deep purple and brown  
when nature reposes with silent sounds  
A yellow moon now sketches the sky  
the sodden ground turns brown with mud  
and nature reigns majestically  
The sluggish tree moans daringly  
grumbling within her blackened desire  
and shaking with an unknown rapture  
The small man breaths  
into the mist of ecstasy  
when torment dances with gaiety  
and the night goes quiet as it was.

Compassion

on February 22. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Here I stand  
As martyrs and villains battle, we're  
Racing through the ghettos  
At 70 MPH

Swallowing hand fulls of grapes and  
vomiting  
Tears, slipping across the dark bricks  
A lump in the stomach persists  
Awaits my hand pressing numbly against hers  
Slides across the halo, earth

Dreams

on February 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The ponds are crying  
As impassive yellow ducks drown in spite  
While enticing gypsy lady frowns  
a quiet mind realizing

Sleeping filth, in holy shines  
Worthless time dances around  
insects fumble, mad  
devils cackling in earnest;

resurrections slipping through gates  
cemetery crawls with skeletons  
immortal soul plunges backwards  
with an open mouth

the squirming child seeks  
a plain eccentric dream  
oaks tumble, ants sneer  
flowers squeal as lights ail

scavengers boast, vast  
deceptions plodding heavily through  
in chaotic silvery static  
swinging lifelessly

sleeping, sleeping, fruits fall from  
the tree  
shade licks the darkness in waking  
the lightly colored gems

Perfection

on February 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Her tears of pain never seemed remembered  
she was stolen by the silence in their eyes  
an angel in the city of starry lights that shimmer  
how could anyone tell her when she cried  
she was unlike the rest with her wings of butterflies

we know the rotten ones messed up on their way home  
home to the only place they'd ever really known  
even though they only wanted to be everything they'd dreamed  
now they're setting sail off these shores  
just wanting a reality they can call their own

because she knew it's what she was meant to be  
a writer, an actress, a singer at only three  
now her tears are only shadows, she is too thin to wear a dress  
and she worries that the sweater hides mistakes she won't confess

in the corners of halls were the lonely children  
wrapped up in their sorrow, will they ever be forgiven?  
he cries because he knows he messed up this time  
she's got her nerves unwired, if only he could get it right  
she just wants to be happy but she knows it always lies

when these shadows become faces and reflections of the past  
all the memories, the ghosts of them, start to get the best  
she wants to disappear because she's tired all the time  
so she lights up her cigarettes and flicks the lighter with her pain  
she will do it just to feel the bliss of this escape again

The Rock

on February 25. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

flat, is the rock that smiles at me  
groaning, ugly parched lips that are sleeping  
puzzled, is my face.

A rock has no grace.

The Lullaby

on February 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am afraid--of my own skin, the delicate folds so paper thin  
They can peel my layers but still I'm firm, and what they see  
I squirm and squirm--I've straightened out, I'm solid and still  
I've taken many of their so called pills, but nothing ever  
helped me feel, all it did was make me ill

They pry and prod for no real reason, and I slept alone  
As the questions pressed me far too soon  
I slept alone in my home away from home  
Taking every shot, the silver bullets have not cured me  
Of my own insanity

Twisting around until the words flew off my tongue  
Through tunnels and chasms, they didn't make me strong  
They pressed the buttons until I looked swallowed, covered in blue  
And I saw in pastel colors that range in varying hues  
But nothing really mattered, it was always about you

Run far away from that castle of beaming white light  
That ugly place where strangers fed us life  
Away from the humming sounds or  
The alligator's cry, Stay away from the madness  
In a choking lullaby...

"No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness."

Time

on February 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

As shadows brush against her face she's taken back  
A branch bends low in the window, her heart flits into  
Shock, it fills this empty silence as the broken plates  
Reassemble on the counter with an ease of grace

Only a mother could put the pieces back so gently  
She's thinking of a time long past  
When she devised the plan to escape this fleeting reality  
In the open meadows where a sun wouldn't last

But her freckles diminished with an aging relief  
And the rooftops lag now with an ugly creak  
The light brings cures for all these ills  
When motion makes every object seem too real

But she remembers with a bursting grief  
That when she was a child, she still believed

Alcohol Tears

on February 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Lining them up in a single file  
One by one they enter her  
As if they could hear the screaming  
She's laying still as everything blurs

Following the winding river  
With a gentle tear she cries  
As the shade makes another entrance  
Driving into her mind

Blue shadows rising  
Out of the feathered mist  
It doesn't really matter, yeah  
she whispers, does it?

Covers swooping down over her eyes  
Life just moving by too fast  
and it is the end of darkness  
The sunshine smiles at last

Bursts of life gradually waning  
She is breathing still  
high up there between the silent hills  
She swallows more and more

It is time to wash away their walls  
And no one hears but everyone sees  
The immediate flash, the little echo pass  
The pearls of sweat when no one believes

As the night swallows her mind  
Awake within a waking dream  
Within her own that she desired  
Time rolls over again

Trapped

on February 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Daylight streams in through this guilty crack in the wall  
I'm sleeping on a plank and it is cold inside this cell  
Oh how the ugly sleeps so well inside these metal bars  
Where denial dreams so lovingly of all her blinding sorrows

The rhythm of the blue skies, the clouds, the yellow sun  
I miss the sweet music of the birds, their melodies alone  
For here inside this pool of grey, I'm drowning in despair  
I tremble when the light's so pale and vanish when it's gone

Oh to stroll among the hills, instead I wait inside this tomb  
Dusting off my weakened mind, as I grow tired with boredom  
In this prison of my life where my heart has learned to steal  
From the venom of bitterness or the presence of a mirror

Decaying in this loneliness I try to find an appeal  
As the repetitions create a new me, so bare and so unreal  
For here in my intrepid world, their hateful eyes will take  
To anything they find that's left, to anyone just breaks

In this fragmented gloom, we'll taste our miserable pains  
Feeding upon their flesh, tearing out their worn remains  
For thirty years have gone by, and I am doomed rest alone  
A person without a reason as I fear I have become

Looking for a kind of peace as I keep on resisting fate  
With every fragile taste of life for which I am still grateful  
But in this cage I find myself, in this lake of darkness  
Where only in the dismal light can you see your own existence

Field of Blue

on February 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

empty promises soften the tongue  
corpses drained of their songs  
bodies spotted with yellow  
stolen phrases bleeding through  
sour eyes and dusty blue

can we make an art of silence?  
drape the curtain over my eyes  
and you would make it

Nobody feels the pouring rain  
Droplets of spite split the edges  
Of our veins  
As she plunges her knife  
Into the black silk dress  
no but she isn't happy  
Diving in through your smooth caress  
Finding nothing but a pale maid  
She throws you out with all the clutter  
And the moldy bread sitting in the corner  
Would you cry, would you die for a girl

As the edges boldly slice  
And the aching makes a plain mark of resilience in her wake  
She'll keep that lip pressed tightly into a frown  
And scowl until the world drowns away  
Immature- you think- not to do your homework

Or scrub the walls with your bare hands  
But she finds it easier to sleep the day away  
And stay up all night smoking cigarettes  
Because everyone's jealous, everyone's crazy  
And no one knows the truth, no one has the right to stay  
In this haunted place where every line is colored blind  
They make an example, an art of sacrifice

In the morning they pick the eggs off the floor  
And scream at me because I opened the front door.

Change

on February 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

No one ever  
Changes  
They're all the same they say  
Well I don't have much to  
Tell you  
other than just look the other way

Tripping over the Rainbow

on February 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I slipped and fell  
Through a crack in the wall  
I slipped and I fell  
Tripped over the rainbow

I tried to hypnotize you  
But you couldn't see  
That it was five years ago  
And that I wasn't me

An empty head's what  
Time'll do to you  
So lets go buy some chocolate  
And we'll eat it too

It's so boring here  
And the sun is just too shiny  
The moon looks better when  
She isn't so lonely

I slipped down all the way  
Into a dreary dream  
and the fairy  
couldn't hear me scream

Men dressed in drag  
And laughing clowns  
I had too much to drink  
And now I'm just messing around

But if I could hold all  
The memories in one bottle  
I'd drink them dry  
And drink till I was full

The Phantom's Touch

on February 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

They were bewitched by the evil watching  
That in their silence suffered  
For evil has a face  
That must be abandoned.

Is it a ghost at the door?  
Who's knocking over the furniture?  
As the water drips, it doesn't permit  
Explanation as to the culprit.

Her body feels so warm  
The water's dripping down her skin  
In the house of the ever young  
Speak now or hold your tongue.

I hear a shuffling at the wall  
Voices never flee the darkness' call  
She shudders in the night alone  
For her voice is still holding on.

Follow the bloody foot-prints  
Find yourself bathed in their wickedness  
In the old room where the doors still creak  
Can you find the monster's retreat?

Her heart was still, as old ones feel  
Was it the devil, or was this her soul?  
Noises in the dark, just hold on  
I have seen things but you'll never believe...

With one hand over the clock  
Can you still hear the ticking?  
If only she could move mountains  
Casts her spells as time's rearranging.

Faded dreams and red riddled roses  
And you wanted to enchant their eyes  
But this is the price you pay  
For riddling the song away.

Only her soul knows, the movement will go  
If only she holds herself very still  
In a sweet solitary surrender  
She will heal them of her ills.

It's the tide that brought the Gothic child  
Back to the phantom lips of an angel  
Hear the little pitter patter?  
Hold yourself still if you are able.

Grief

on February 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

As shadows brush against her face she's taken back  
a branch bends low in the window, her heart flutters into shock  
as it fills an empty silence, the broken plates  
reassemble on the counter with an ease of grace

Staring down at her hands she remembers time  
a world balanced by a thread  
she's thinking of a place so far away  
when she devised the plan to escape fleeting memories

The lights diminished with an aging relief  
and the rooftops fell down with an ugly creak  
the light brought cures for all of these ills  
when motion made every object seem alive

But she remembers with a bursting grief  
That when she was a child she still believed

Skeleton

on February 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She wore their words

like bruises beaten

Holes burnt in her sockets

Ugly skin

As she broke another thumb

Fingers finding

a stranger's gun

shot

paralyzed by the light of another's words

while waking up alone-

Looking for God

in her severed form.

It tasted sweet like

your foolish narcissism and angry

Anarchistic dreams of peace when you found

Knowledge was the fruit of good and evil

Making deals with the devil-

Before taking it all away

Losing for these failing notions

Realize the reality

Before you're suddenly stripped

Of all your sensations

Heart yearning for truth

To quench the thirst for

vengeance.

Finding only anger and discomfort

As the walls close around

People shaking their fingers at you

And you are all I am now...

as her body emerges

From the waves of the sea

quaking temples erupt

to form the skin of your fist

don't talk about silences

When we have payed for less

Letting time pull the shadows

Over her eyes

We can see the light in there if we try

As they fight through their teeth

To confiscate your pride

Finding only drama and pain inside

It's all about what's there

And there is

a life.

To Love a Clown

on February 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

A bottle of whiskey and my chain-smoking  
friend kisses her lips just pretending  
licking sugar off his fingertips- as she searches  
To find a place inside his hands  
While men black suites watch Saturday television and grow old  
Balding, in fact, barely hanging on at all  
never bothered  
by the tangles in her hair  
He parts her thighs  
It's a clown lover's affair  
as the crowd erupts  
with the loudest sound of laughing  
and as they clap it echoes  
through the hallways into nothing  
he wanders through a purple fog  
checking the room for the shadows of people  
as they wander away laughing with applause  
Tossing roses to the actress and actor  
I watch him parade through melodies  
laughing at the irony  
he's juggling four thousand knives  
and you'd think I was the fool to love a clown.

One

on February 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

holding her close as  
crimson candle oozes  
a waxy delight  
burning deep within  
as sloppy kisses ignite  
passionately tasting her  
sassy lips smeared red  
pink pearls of sweat are  
sliding down her neck  
in movements so tempted  
in deep delicious desire  
she whispers in her ears  
"I want you on fire"  
held in arm's embrace  
mesmerized by the way she caresses  
they melt into each other  
entwining as lovers  
dwelling in the home of her heart  
adoring their bodies as they meet  
never to be apart  
one stable heart beat

Denial

on February 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The silent spaces reveal  
That we are a decaying breed  
We constantly destroy each other  
Through turmoil and greed  
Technology is the monster  
Which we constantly feed  
Energy is running low here  
In this dark hostile place  
I'd like to join them  
Deep in outer space

But something is keeping me here  
This old ball and chain  
They tell me I'm here for a reason

I watch people come and multiply  
They taint the world with their eyes  
I have become more nihilist as I've grown  
To understand the truth from the lies  
This world was a mistake or was it?  
What are we to the nothing anyways?

I wish I understood my purpose  
But I don't seem to have one  
I think God made a choice to hate me  
And that's why I see so much evil  
In this place whatever  
Where things get misplaced forever  
There seems to be no reason to be here  
I wonder why nothing is my choice anymore  
What anyone wants, I don't know  
But there's a party going on and I don't care  
Because I wasn't invited to their parties  
And that's why I'm left here  
to contemplate my existence

Damn Everything

on February 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Damn everything  
It's beautiful when it's red  
Tall and quick  
Killer instincts yea

No one is there  
In between the sheets  
Nothing resides  
But broken promises

Go away  
You're beautiful you know  
But stay away  
I won't watch you go

Loneliness is beautiful  
It's art, it's real  
Saving grace  
Isolated to feel

You wanted crazy  
Crazy is easy  
But time's getting thin  
The air is running away

Go away  
You'll suffer in your desire  
Burn in hell  
You'll rot in your fire

This is your design  
It isn't what you'd planned  
This is you now  
The clown with the crooked frown

Distance

on February 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I ran away  
From their petty conversations  
And hid myself  
Under a bridge  
Where the light  
Fell between cracks  
Scattered rocks  
Torn apart  
I hid myself  
And my burdened skin  
The parts of me  
That I hadn't shown  
I slept alone  
As the day erased  
Memories that taunted  
They slipped far far away  
Voices wept until the wailing stopped  
At last I was perfectly alone  
And the screaming of the silence  
No longer badgered my bones  
I felt a cold comfort in the stars  
And I knew I'd never see him again  
Those special things that came from  
The bottomless wells of my heart  
No longer had a meaning to him  
He was no longer a part  
Of my everything

Ageless

on March 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

A worn metallic knob

rusted

like a spectacle

to the passerby

she was still yellow

The Illusion

on March 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Ideas drip down her open mouth  
as trickle and rippling voices run away  
through an imagined orchestra of words

He orders a drunk drink for the child ...  
sleeping on the floor as she babbles away

As they asphyxiate with emotionless eating  
Gobbling gin and groaning girls to stay

until the drums get rough and guitars start screaming  
they sip solitude sweetly listening to silly stars  
building their bodies out of used body parts

they're still building atomic bombs

And the glamorous girl with  
ogre eyes and a silly mind  
waits on a trembling plank...

Ready to jump into space with a blank

face

Self Deprication/Neglect of Appreciation

on March 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She found her ghost, damn the needles  
In the plasticized  
In the Lithium lullabies  
In the sapphire shadows  
She's been commercialized?  
Or was she the shadow?

A lovesick heart was locked away  
In her chest  
Oh the rain  
Fell down below

Oh what kingdoms are hidden between white walls  
But I don't know  
She found her ghost  
In the silence  
Where nothing fell  
Or crashed  
Down below

In the sweet magnolias  
I don't know where my passion went  
out the door  
out the door  
Slept under the porch lights  
What a whore  
What a whore  
I'll feed off of you  
I'll take your pain from you  
faking love

make mistakes over and over  
Oh denial  
pen marks across the notebooks  
sharpie stains on my shirt  
cigarettes sleeping in my pocket  
she's an angel or a devil  
but imperfection is beautiful  
trashy glamor whore

glittering eyes, cameras on her  
in those fishnets  
stripes and stars  
lies of white powder  
showering in blood  
sacrifice of pain  
paper box dreams and body aches in ashes  
tools were used to cut out the invasive therapy  
And we'll beat them dry  
We'll beat them black and blue

Selfishly we'll beat them till their

You.

Heart of Pain

on March 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I thought his heart was bound  
By the promises we had made  
Where roses lined the floor  
To the future that was paved

Now these roses are bleeding  
And you're gone so far away  
When will you come back to tell me  
I love you, I love you today

Now my heart is bleeding  
For he broke those chains away  
These sheets that once  
Touched our bodies now stained

My heart is turning black  
With everything in pain  
I never want to love again  
The mirror is no longer my friend

I feel I'm walking on glass pieces  
Just letting the ghosts haunt my steps  
Feeling the cold glares upon me  
Still the same as when you left

Because these roses are bleeding  
And you're gone away  
When will you back to me and say  
I love you

The roses are bleeding  
And we're all alone  
I wanted you back  
I wanted you to come home

When will you come home and say  
I love you  
I love you  
When will you stay

Stain

on March 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Jenna was a memory  
A little blond in a flip book  
turning every page  
she runs across their minds  
she is free  
she is a lullaby

purely emptied of the  
middle-class filth  
we step into nowadays  
and  
as your veins splatter  
miss nude, miss crooked  
back  
She panics  
and then you tear yourself apart  
She bleeds only silence  
Like the obscure  
the vague  
the neglected muse repaid

If only we could record every moment  
Of our lives

I'd make a journal of my life  
And sell the images to my soul

I am Home

on March 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I'm three stories, my head held high  
I tower the rest  
With a warmth of the sunny day on my shoulders  
I can feel the breath of the wind rushing past

These tall windows are my eyes  
And I am seen by everyone from outside  
They sometimes slow down to analyze my form  
The structure of my thin walls, the panels of my face

I cannot see them, but when they gaze through my door  
They know someone lives there and did a few times before  
I'm not too large and not too small  
I'm actually quite comfortable

Jealous Fool

on March 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

And as she's twitching with envy  
Mother nature crumbles in her palm  
With just one blow she wipes  
Away human kind for good

Sincerely, people  
are so fucking honest these days  
learn to lie through your clenched jaws  
that's the way to live anyways

It used to be that it was easier when we  
Were shooting up and at the same time  
The buckle beat their flesh and dried them  
Of all that chemical left in the back of our throats

So fucking hostile, this greedy mind  
Wants to morph into something powerful  
Let them weep for their own scars, let me weep over  
their boredom and be so self-sufficient of it

Groundless

on March 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

we made them into clowns  
perfect  
examples of life  
as  
irresponsible sanity  
smiled  
at  
the genesis  
of our loving nature  
while  
languages erased  
for  
staring too long

the ceiling was like a blank slate  
as  
the sky was falling  
we were

running through the corridors  
of a dreamy ship  
but we ran out of time

to say anything

of substance

no reason or rhyme  
Could unchain our

corruption

Humanity had no chance  
save to starve itself of logic

and bathe in the essence of  
time without meaning

watch the world change  
into nothingness

Into oblivion

We were without ground, without sound

And we fell into nothing

Selfless

on March 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I slipped and fell  
Through a crack in the wall  
I slipped and I fell  
I slipped and I fell

I tried to hypnotize you  
But you couldn't see  
That it was five years ago  
And that just wasn't me

An empty head's what  
Time'll do to you  
So lets go buy some chocolate  
And we'll eat it too

It's so boring here  
And the sun is just too shiny  
The moon looks better when  
She isn't so lonely

I slipped down all the way  
Into a dreary dream  
and the little fairies  
couldn't hear me scream

Men dressed in drag  
And laughing clowns  
I had too much to drink  
And now I'm just alone

But if I could hold all  
The memories in one bottle  
I'd drink them dry  
And drink till I was full

Candy

on March 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The little marbles line up in a single file  
And she can taste the ripples & hear them singing  
They're dreaming of her disaster  
As if they could hear the screaming

Hovering over this drained melody  
Laying on an ugly sofa, just thinking  
With weepy eyes and nothing to live for  
As if there was ever anything

She follows the winding river  
With a gentle tear  
As the shade makes an entrance  
Into her final fear

The blue shadow slowly rises  
As cloudy dreams rush past...  
It doesn't really matter, yeah  
she whispers, does it?

Covers swooping down over her eyes  
And life just moves by so fast  
and it's the end of the darkness  
The sunshine smiles peacefully at last

Wise from the seeds of intuition  
As another plane blips away in the sky  
the splatter of denial hitting her life  
A lost identity, as if slashed by a knife

Such vulnerability,  
Remote and immediate loss of reality...  
As she expected to be...so dizzy  
As the shivers run up her spine

almost praying to the drums of her mind  
At rest in the diameters of infinity  
the vibrant girl, as her  
Eyes are fluttering so helplessly

Bursts of a future gradually waning  
Here and now, she's also breathing  
high up there among the silent hills  
She swallows more of her little white pills

with time driving down the ancient walls  
And no one hears but everyone sees her fall  
The immediate flash & the little echo pass  
The pearls of sweat when nothing ever lasts

A ride with speed, faster going faster   
Laughing kids who want to get higher and higher  
knowing the only escape is here where  
her heart is just as still as a silent choir

Strumming the pain you pushed her into  
The infrared desire, a soothing lullaby  
As half-opened lifeless eyes seeming  
Undiluted & dreaming on the outside

As the night swallows her mind  
Awake within a waking dream  
Within her own aspiration that she desired  
and as the time rolls over again

Life becomes swollen with waves  
But no one ever leaves  
Water bubbles in a bristling brook  
Colors flowing into where no one is looking ...

She makes her tongue withdraw  
as heaven drifts into her soul  
As they taunt and compete  
For the selflessness of control

A gentle rustling through the weeds  
And a child's hand tugs on hers  
with the sparkle of a lost emotion  
She gracefully swallows as everything blurs

To leave is to go into the open spaces  
Land turns in shades of grey as she's  
walking  
walking away

Then she's slipping into a sweet reverie  
White pillows becoming so mindlessly gone  
And then it seems so suddenly   
she gets up and stumbles...it was just a dream.

Death of A King

on March 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Vishnu appeared one evening  
As an eye of ruby red  
To speak of many things  
Most certainly to warn of death

Vishnu was there to calm the king  
For his throne was to be taken  
But the king flatly ignored Vishnu  
As if Vishnu had not spoken

And the thunderous caves opened  
For the lesson had done no good  
This selfishness had led the king  
To a promise of punishment

Lord Shiva, the fierce God  
Appeared in such a flash  
Imposing fear into King's heart  
With a loud thundering crash

"Who claims to right the wrong?"  
Lord Shiva, the mountain, said  
Poking the king with his prong  
Bathed with the ashes of the dead

Lord Shiva heard Vishnu's warning  
Now the king deserved the worst  
"From this day on your royal  
Kingdom shall be forever cursed!"

"Oh Shiva, do not curse him  
For he has done no wrong  
His life was lived in splendor  
And we, in his royal kingdom

Have bathed in riches vaster  
Than any princess could know  
Do not curse our father the King  
For we love our highness so!"

Soon the King had wept  
But Shiva would not reply  
For the King owed a Karmic debt  
That was far too great, too high

And so they wept for their king  
Who took his final breath  
As Shiva led the royal King  
Into the realm death.

Poverty

on March 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Soft snow scatters as we part  
the hard ice away to  
reveal our tired bodies as agonized  
forms that speak with nothing to say  
as the trembling leaves  
lay crushed against us  
where we sleep deep  
between the worn maples  
as our world continues its cycle  
drawing circles around chaos.

Here, in the heavy air we once breathed  
We were only children but we had dreams  
and in the corner there lies  
years of forgotten memories  
once there was a small red shovel  
we had used to pull up their rusted roots  
from behind the lost porch  
and pondered what it would be like  
to have parents who loved us.

We were so young and bare  
watching time melt away like  
we were on some far off deserted island,  
we gathered limbs and eventually formed  
a body that could withstand  
the cold shuddering at night when  
we held hands, but love knows nothing...

Then the days came where we found that  
we had no blankets to cover ourselves  
and no food to fill us, no water to wash away our tears  
and so we wrote- page after page of sad poetry  
only with the hope that someday someone would read our poems  
and some other poor child would not die  
as we did alone on those lonesome dark nights

Child of Forever

on March 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Oh ignorant little child  
Passing into the bitter night  
you could not hear them

cannot hear the stars  
Bursting in your ears  
A happier life you may learn

To be a good little boy or girl  
Happy birthday child of sun  
You can breathe once again

Never ever ending life  
It's amazing, it is...oh you never thought  
The world would be so full of mysteries they forgot

You will find it, yes you will  
Don't be ill, child, you are there still  
Behind the eyes, she cries and cries

The honest ghost...the tired host sighs  
Falling through time she wakes up  
And lives a life that will never stop

Seconds slowing, seconds never ending  
What she forgets she will start remembering

Only A Memory

on March 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Her glossy lips kissed him promises  
Of a life of laughter and music, plenty of dancing  
Yes, she kissed him like they were lovers  
And life could never be more fragile  
Like porcelain, and it felt so inspiring to be with him  
To be held his arms and to be safe from everyone  
Just before the castle walls collapsed  
And the accusing fingers poking at the joke  
The one mistake they never said was real  
Yes, she kissed him before her heart shattered  
Before the paint stained the canvas red  
She was left with only a memory...  
And eventually it was still forgotten.

Silent House

on March 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It fell on deaf ears  
Like a siren screaming in the rain  
A dizzy dancing man went hysteric  
Beside the screaming train

Their voices were multiplying  
And Van Gogh painted pain  
He would have loved to know  
Some of us don't want to know anything

It fell with a thunderous crash  
But no one heard the sound  
As a million fiery splinters  
Fell harshly towards the ground

And no one saw her brother falling  
Right through the broken moon  
As the fire turned to slaughter  
And the laughter turned to boredom

For she woke up that morning  
With strangely no recall  
Of anything of war  
Of any sound at all

In the silent house where mockingbirds crowed  
Children in their beds were sleeping  
For no one wanted to remember  
What it was like to hear them dying.

Silent House

on March 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Silent House

It fell upon deaf ears  
Like a siren screaming in the rain  
A dizzy dancing man gone mad  
Beside the screaming train

Their voices were multiplying  
And Van Gogh once painted pain  
He would have loved to know  
What others ignore in vain

It fell with a thunderous crash  
But no one heard the sound  
As a million fiery splinters  
Fell harshly to the ground

And no one saw her falling  
Right through the broken moon  
As the fire turned to slaughter  
And the laughter turned to boredom

For she woke up that morning  
With strangely no recall  
Of any conversation  
Of any sound at all

And in the silent house she cried  
As her children continued sleeping  
When no one wanted to remember  
What it was like to hear them speaking.

Ship of Dreams

on March 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Welcome to The Ship of Dreams  
I will be your guide  
Any questions you may have  
The answers I'll provide.

Here, take these instructions  
Please read them if you will  
They list the rules and functions  
This requires so little skill.

Now if you would take a moment  
And step in through this door  
I will show you specimens  
You have never seen before.

But no you cannot touch them!  
I say this for they'll bite  
These creatures we have captured  
From a planet far from sight.

Oh you can marvel at their size  
You can wonder at their colors  
But these creatures we have captured  
From the darkest place on mars.

Now follow me through this hall  
This is where we watch the stars  
Through our telescopes we'll note  
Even the most intrinsic features.

You see, we are the scientists  
Of the spaces in between  
I hope you understand this  
So you can use your imagination

Now that concludes the special tour  
You must be on your own  
For in this wondrous ship you'll find  
All things that are unknown.

Mindless Ones

on March 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

we are so dedicated  
to the air between our lungs as we breathe in and out in and out  
no time for your lover, no time for your sister

dripping with cocaine sweat  
she dissolves like a bitter teardrop in the rain  
with out any destination, your memory collapses

and the dream fades  
a fragment of your life stumbles blindly down the train  
and is swallowed by the tunnel, they called you names  
but you could not find them

when your mind was erased...

our bodies multiply, one by one with a little sigh  
We multiply

But is there any reason that we have to die?  
Is there any reason...  
When this world is all we know when this world is all we know  
And all we have is still there somewhere

Out there out of reach

Sometimes it's better to pretend that you're not alone...  
Because things get tricky when you're sad and scared  
ignore them anyhow  
you don't know what's there

I guess it's for the better

Lost Once More

on March 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Words just don't come too easily to me anymore  
Something got in the way of me being a writer  
And living my life during those long winters  
Seemed to confuse me more than once  
And now I am not sure of which way I'm turning  
What bridges I'm burning, which scar I am tracing  
Which light I am facing, and I don't even know  
If I am making sense...if I ever made sense at all.

The Bride

on March 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Once, a long time ago, there was princess they called Salina  
With a heart for every man that came her way  
For they all had so much love to give  
and this, she could not deny.

When her home was being threatened, the princess had to flee.  
And this is princess Salina's story::

In the beginning Salina was still so free,  
The daughter of a man who was quite wealthy- in his kingdom  
She was to be united with a prince someday soon.  
Her destiny was to be betrothed and to rule from above.

In their heavenly palace where the sweet harps played  
No strings would be cut, for all was in the right place  
Golden halos adorned upon each princess of the light  
This was the place where the righteous could take flight.

The ghosts danced, enchanted by her swaying dress.  
Salina was quite an enchantress.  
With the stars sparkling to her beautiful eyes,  
she never had to wear any sort of disguise.

Her heart was pure, her heart was free.  
She had had a soul and felt no agony.  
No painful tears shed in her kingdom,

where the knights wore shiny silver;

they fell in love one by one with her.

By the moonlight fairies drank, and through their stupors they sang silly songs of magickal days.  
Days so long ago forgotten and sorcerers

who felt their urge to steal from mages and princesses in the Kingdom of Uriel.  
Purple wings fluttered in the nearby trees, no one noticed the fairy rings, as many swirled and twirled around, all was in silence behind the town.

Tonight the beggars wore their best to see if they could impress her.  
For in the realm of whispering trees was rumored to be some sort of trial,  
What man would qualify to bring the darling princess all of her dreams?  
Who would suit the eyes of this virgin soon to be bride.  
What man would be royalty enough to provide the sweetest caress

To the Daughter of the Kingdom who wore a moonbeam dress?

Evenings came and passed, but she could not find the one.  
Then Princes broke her heart when she fell for their love,  
Only to find that they were there for her prize, not for her smile or her sweet doe eyes. The men who came were unlike the ones she had loved at first.

Three days had passed and she'd grown ill.  
In fact the maiden was laying quite still, when suddenly from the window it brushed her hair, Salina woke up with a bitter scare.  
Something was watching from the windowpane, it has been watching her intently for the three days she'd be crying.  
Poor Salina, stricken with love sickness and spite, as the curiosity took the better of her fright.

"Who goes there?" She calls out to the shadowy figure  
And rushes to close the window but by then it is too late.  
A muffled gasp and a hand grasps at her face,

she's pulled down the window and out through the stone gate.  
Through the shadowy darkness they fly. Bewildered Salina begins to cry. Her wailing can be heard from far and low. Yet only the fairies can hear her moan.

Perplexed by this muse, a child wakes in despair. He can hear the moaning maiden from afar in the brush. As the whistling wind ceases all is still and the shadowy figure whispers to "Hush"

"Please, do not harm me!" She cries out to the man, The man smiles wide exposing sharp jagged teethe. As she cries she feels herself growing cold.

"Please, my dear, do not fear the vampire.  
I have taken you higher than any of the other suitors.  
You may choose to shun me in fear, but if you choose to deny my love than I will let you go right now."

"What have you over all the rest? I cannot love you, a bitter fool. Let me go home please, I am begging you!"

"Dear, don't be afraid. I must deliver this warning. There will be a plague of demons that shall be visiting.  
If you do not take my hand and therefore escape death, as hand in hand we'll save your kingdom from this evil, then you shall succumb like all else to mortality and the darkness itself... you will become the devil."

"If you must take me than devour me whole, take my virgin body and take my soul, for I am so tired of waiting diligently to fulfill this destiny of mine.  
Take my remains and scatter these ashes.  
Let them forgive me, but I have reached madness."

"Hush, be quiet and be still. I am a vampire but I never kill. If you want me to take you I shall take you in the right way.  
We shall perform the ritual in the moonlight this hour.  
Take my hand, I shall lead you through this graveyard of bones to a place where we can be safe and alone."

So darkly he led her in through the black roses and vines, to where in the shade of the willow she was confined.  
His hand held her tightly to his hard chest, and she desperately willingly removed the silk of her dress.  
Exposing soft skin, pale and milky to his touch, he licked her and drank of her with his lust.

"The fairies know me well, they know I am no evil man.  
I would never take the hand of such a pretty virgin.  
Would I touch you so softly, my swan, my dove, would a demon caress a princess with love?"

She trembled slightly in his eyes, meeting him with her own. She knew she was vulnerable in a graveyard all alone.  
And with a vampire, a creature of the dark, spreading herself all over him, giving him her very heart.

His lips pressed lightly across her neck, and this is where she began to fear, as slowly his teethe began to pierce the flesh and her blood was sucked out of her veins into his own.  
He seemed to grow lighter as she felt heavy and drained, as he drank of her blood again and again.

Then at last the final bite, her skin felt oddly illuminated in the night. She rose up high with raven wings, he followed her into the blood red morning. Over the hills and through the sun, beside each other their hearts still flew.

Salina must return to the castle at noon, to cover her sins with eyes of bright virtue.

When they reached the gables she fell down upon the earth, as cries from the sky shot out thunder bolts.  
He was nowhere for he'd disappeared and Salina could not tell the King, that she had already been wed in the midnight to a demon! The stones seemed to speak as she stumbled through the gate, nothing consumed Salina but despair for her Kingdom's fate.

Tao

on March 11. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Go to a hill and meditate upon silence  
Breathe in the space that is between  
And empty out your memories  
Of all those mundane things  
Silly attachments, many desires  
Unfulfilled..empty out your wants  
You become free from these yearnings  
You become free from these desires  
You become completely whole  
And all that you believe you know  
All that you have created from space  
In your mind, it dissolves into nothingness  
You follow silently, to join the universe  
In the expanding in the ever-changing  
This is paradise, this is your reality  
When you are free of your barriers  
The walls you've built out of sand  
When you stop building layer after layer  
Of needless attachments to your words  
To thoughts, to ideas, to the ego  
You become free from the clutter of desire  
To find paradise we should empty our minds  
And when we are empty we know that we  
Are already there, you will find peace  
Without sorrow, without sorrow  
You will find a happiness that may  
Take you to a higher level of consciousness  
In a place where anything is possible  
Remember, all reality is a dream and  
Your dreams are the reality that you create

Water

on March 11. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She dipped her foot into a murky well  
That lie deep within her mind's cave  
Where dreams spent on in conversation  
As the flickering lights oft played  
As the lead bats fluttered in darkness  
And silver fish flickered to yellow gold  
Illuminated as if by a torch oh  
Her third eye did behold such wonders  
Who'd dare to drink eternal life  
From the secrets that we find within  
For to process the collective whole  
Would take the lifetime of many souls

Insanity

on March 12. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Forever I have fought the enemy  
But now I'm afraid I must admit  
This enemy he lives in me  
And feeds upon all that I speak  
And all the evils in the world  
Can't amount to his subtraction  
He takes what I have never given  
And I bow my head before him  
He only shows me the path  
Of rusted stems and deathly pain  
For this evil that lives inside me  
Is the evil of insanity

Man

on March 12. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I'm finding that this world is drying up  
Perishing in Perishes, saints scattered  
Through cities under street lamps  
Selling souls for soma and salvation  
Yea, and I'm finding that God is really man  
I'm finding narcissism that bites with a vengeance  
And the nothingness and nothing and as I sit here  
Upon a plateau above everything,  
God can't touch me yea but everyone is touching me  
And I'm being touched by them and their hands are  
Spreading the germ of humanity, of "his"  
Kingdom, deep down in "his" kingdom is where  
I sleep every night, it's where I was told, wash away  
The dirt and the truth of what is...BUT I don't want  
Anything to do with HIS rotten world  
Give me liberty or give me death. Cuz, It's not enough  
To say that I'm dissatisfied with your little plan "Man"  
Send me on a wild goose chase, make me your  
jest, your game, your joke, your lie, you'er the guy  
Carve me out of your ribcage fashion me into  
Your form because no matter how hard I squint  
My eyes to see, I can see no other God than me.

Unsung

on March 12. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

on the moon she daydreamed of oceans  
as the shoreline melted away  
in the sunny heat they held eachother's hands

and traced pictures in the sand  
of cities burnt to dust  
not one bird flew over  
the nest that morning  
when the song of songs  
was to be sung no more

~

Technicolor Dreams

on March 12. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She radiates in Technicolor clouds  
Of soft violet, brilliant specks of  
emerald stars start spiraling through  
bright aqua seas and sapphire shores  
brilliant hues of red  
A rose's petals so plush  
They blush and promise of sweet tomorrows  
Silent rays of yellow send  
Sacred understandings, beautiful realms  
In Godly places where anyone can go  
But no one will return  
In the deep lush grasslands and foggy  
Caverns, sparkling rainbows captured  
On icicles, as white sand tickles  
Your toes  
peace

The Cosmic Record

on March 12. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

If only there really was a record  
Of all our daily struggles  
The cosmic journal of our journeys  
Of all our toils and troubles

Who would then unlock its key  
Should this be stored in secrecy?  
Who would then open the book  
And who would be the first to look?

I wonder what these pages might tell  
Of a wonderful time or a life of hell  
Might it be our average recollection  
There for our own introspections

Might it tell of long ago constellations  
Maps of stars and secret calculations  
Infinite possibilities, places never seen  
A world above, and a realm in between

But where is this so called Cosmic record?  
And who keeps its pages in order, never getting torn  
We are the guardians of the Akashic Records  
Without these stories we aren't reborn

The Little Gardener

on March 13. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The sandy beaches softly lay  
Where roaming Sailors will often stay  
Behind the hillside not far from home  
Is where my daughter often roams

She says it is her peaceful garden  
Sapphire buds in fields so golden  
It is a grove of gentle flowers  
Spending days, hours upon hours

Kneading through the dough of earth  
Planting bulbs with tears of mirth  
Coming home covered with sand  
Another treasure in her hand

In a bed of lilies by the sea  
Where the winds often play merrily  
My daughter learns to sow the seeds  
That will blossom into prosperity

Princess's Fortune

on March 13. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The sky was blank and serene of late;  
The moon was as crisp as a plate  
The moon was like a porcelain plate  
The sky was just as blank

The King slept in a tower high  
Stone of crystal and gold  
The wealthy King slept in a tower  
growing tired each day, growing old

From far beyond the castle walls  
the gypsies played their lutes;  
of fantasy they sang all day  
of lovers' long pursuits,  
princesses would often gather  
Round the fire they danced  
To hear these enchanting songs  
Of the wonders of romance

The day was a dark one with dismal rain  
When the King rode out to stop their play  
It was a dark and dismal day  
When the King had left to search in vain

The sky was blank and serene of late;  
The moon was as crisp as a plate  
The moon was like a porcelain plate  
When the king rode out that night

Question of Power

on March 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Watch the world, she moves slowly  
Unlike you  
Who screams like a siren, who breathes a tornado  
And stamps out the light with your heel  
And kicks at the dust with an angry foot  
Who is my constant inspiration  
Intimidation, and who would only glance at me  
Occasionally to see that I was still there and I wasn't really ever  
And when I was I was never really me  
And I know there is no reason you should be  
Frightened of this ugliness because you're alone  
you taught me to be one  
Alone, you taught me to be alone with the world  
When they wanted to turn you into a dollar bill  
and wrap it around my naked flesh  
Just to feel the warmth and the vanity, I'd crave  
the bliss of your exquisite innocence  
Defiled by greed and drowned in petty words,  
words that meant nothing  
Not to the poet, not the average person who knows nothing of God-  
Of Grace and of Love  
And to fight you is futile, this end of all endings  
Analyze, what is there to analyze? I know everything! Right?  
Since you have given me the crown,  
And I am now Queen of being effortless  
Nothing wills out of this emptiness- in your empty bottomless pit  
Where we are somehow enlightened, out of the emptiness- it did form.  
Where we are deep in the stillness, enlightened, out of the emptiness- or did it form from what was already there? Is anything absolute? Is anyone ever free?  
How many times do you repeat the word- VOW, before it becomes a lie?  
How many days spent pondering your flesh and growing tired of it?  
I learned to hang on to the threads that weave existence  
and tell me dream weaver, where is that infinite thread and what is its substance?  
Where do we go when we forget? What is a dream deferred?  
How many INTERRUPTIONS does it take to destroy the ego?  
Should we build a forcefield around our own bones?  
How can we become one with the eternal? Is there anything that makes sense anymore...  
Is this Tao? Tell me, dreamweaver, what is all of this for?

The Golden Scroll

on March 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

His cypress, a chestnut bloomed in the Sun,  
The mast did sail with its murmurs of Rome;  
Who would fall down to a slave before thy throne?  
Richly ting'd with gold, and what he ne'er had known  
May her thoughts be true: speaking honestly  
With her sad doe eyes, dwell'd tranquility;  
With whisper'd discontents of a jealous heart  
But this, that in my sweet flower I did part.  
As the dying awed the sky in a solemnity,  
To see thee thus in thy pleasure should rue,  
I turned my youthful voice as when I gaze upon  
What crazed my eye with a form for the sun,  
And the only instrument of man's soul;  
Who has stood before the sacred scroll?  
As He in reverence to the mast did roar!  
And my fond dove, thy gaudy web of earth  
The ancient mountain, did I dare approacheth

The Peaceful Kingdom

on March 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

"Welcomed in the sky,--  
once children we were free,  
oh Earth's clouds, unfold so brilliantly  
bring me the light and sing  
till the nightingale  
larks of freedom in thy soul."

Covered with the darkness by a dread of hand,  
we were compelled to hear:  
the piper pipe of many a man  
in a kingdom far from here.

What were its thickest shades where they'd been led?  
a watered heaven, no winds in their breath,  
from the seats of the valleys into the night,  
his spectre followed them by trail of death.

Quench, Oh children from my sight  
for there to God, thou mortal hands are skies;  
burnt of tender morning, stain their world with fire  
their bodies left the voice of the light  
a thousand spirits of my happy day,  
forever lurking in my evil ways.

my foe beheld it in the maiden when she ran away,  
to be with the flowers in my garden bright and free  
in a land that longs for her silvery hair,  
does not she laugh with woe, for the valley that loved thee?

"Oh the steps of the happy and never want of joy.  
it bears their hearts with painful tongs,  
night is called by His image, but I made a bank:  
where thy dream of every man is wrong,  
it is for another pleasant sound reborn:  
and I say to welcome in a threat'ning horn  
while our sports have tasted in silent delight  
she'd fled with a freedom, the maiden fair,  
sit down, to waste in hell's despair;  
I guard them well with thee behind me,  
who doth give his youth a harlot's curse  
blasts! These forests of thy father's moor!  
I murmur my wishes but only to his fervor  
what was my joy, but a hapless plea?"

"Oh Earth's clouds let thy ruddy eyes see day  
angels shall brush my shady roof,  
there they may find hope under leaves  
so many children are stripped  
of thy father; does it keep my love in vain  
oh Day of Mourning,  
come down and bid thee such a sign."

ten-thousand spirits of woe!  
what shall be in the home of her mournful head,  
whose ears have built Jerusalem  
in thy heart and soul?  
when He was dark, no injury,  
to the sacred years,  
when Mary had spoken in the night of a spirit,  
he became a bright mane of stars, to sit  
beneath our Father's throne,  
and know thy Peace, the Dove, but can it be?  
for the longings of their eyes so poor,  
oh To be like them and scream of war!  
or to vanish with the night, to be the dying star  
beheld such a brilliant sight, from our father's shore.

Merry-go-Round

on March 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

We like to spin round  
and around  
the day's sun  
An apple bright  
In the shady grove we like  
To smile with glee  
As spirits pass each day and  
Night, not still,  
But wandering as  
We seem a fright for them to see  
For we are free  
To wander round and play upon  
The merry-go-round  
As we spin and play  
and run with delight  
In the garden of  
The laughing sprites.

Mysteries of Midnight

on March 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The clock struck 12:00  
on time just like she said  
She had a voice once  
It had long gone dead  
Times roll on gently  
slowly they cross  
The bridge, and  
I wait until the colors match  
My own, until the rainbow is the law  
Of the lands unknown  
I want a heaven in my bones.

Spring Rain

on March 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

In a bed of lilies by the sea  
Where the winds often play merrily  
Scattering the waters of Spring  
In my lover's garden, I am waiting

Artificial

on March 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

March on...2:33 The System's inquiry:  
Where have you been...leading a double life I see  
Beauty's sorrow, beauty that couldn't ever be so  
March on with your...worldly wants and dreams of something...  
I don't even know...something I wanted to grow...  
Sweet powers revel in these electric screens  
Static situations, revelations... and those dreams  
Wander around in obsolete thoughts and watch them  
Become the cants and sometimes the wanted no  
Keeping on cue with the could be's and have nots,  
Tell me what you're doing...though I don't care to say  
What it means; when you wander around those sweet nothings  
Driving me forward, I'm an insect in character of need  
I don't know who made my circuits or my heart full of lead  
But I am just a machine and an object of no use...  
For my wires are too many and there must be one loose

Satin Dress

on March 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Satin dresses glisten  
With pink sequins, she says her  
Hands are still yours for  
She has the beauty of love  
When she glides across your skin

world without love

on March 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

When you don't even have the darkness  
To wrap around your arms  
Then you are living in a world without love

Sanitation

on March 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Sanitation

Dewy lawns  
Painted scenes  
Orange lace  
Crippled curtains  
Dark love

Blowing blowing me away

Running barefoot through the clouds upon the sky

Throwing seashells into the sea

And never knowing what it meant to know we were free

Parellel

on March 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Lost in parallels  
which is the way  
Left right forward backwards  
Darkness fills the day

Choose your battle  
With very sharp aim  
Kill the enemy  
Celebrate your fame

Which one falls  
Which one's free  
Who is your enemy  
Who is your friend

Lost in parallels  
Beginning to feel lost  
What day is this day  
Sun's down I'm gone at last

Tongue-Tied

on March 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She clenches her jaw  
as she holds up a fist  
stammers, then she rolls her eyes  
Stammers and she can't say it can't say it

NO, she finally says. NO. I don't care, honestly.  
How could it have come to this? The writer...  
Writer of words master of worlds and she could not care  
No, but death means something. She says that it could mean  
less but now she is floating upon  
Streams of color, the peripheral vision. No it didn't belong to him, "I can't love you" Swallow this bitter pill, swallow it and if its not bitter than you can't love me either. She knows love has a taste, she's tasted it it's  
bitter. But no, no means a lot when it's the answer  
And if you can't take no for an answer then you don't know her.

Lost in Translation

on March 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Lost in translation, I've been judged before our eyes met  
Words falling between the holes in your ego  
Just can't stand the pressure of your eyes, burnt sore  
Everyone is looking for the scar, wrist-banging  
Mental flaming, watch out who you worship you're a star  
Can't listen to righteous lies, soulless heart and pagan pride  
Can't stand their stinging nettle trust, just glance backwards  
You can't trust us them or they don't bother to state  
Which one you honor or disgrace, we make ourselves at home  
And care less about what names to which identity is known  
Glazed over paradise and Utopias of ignorance  
Just make your bloody statement, we'll tolerate it

But a Dream

on March 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

it is a cloud of grey matter  
that hovers over our beautiful scene ...  
the residue of- life's laugh lines  
-time. I'm stuck in between  
counting the digits on the clock  
they continue but we  
can't stop hallucinating  
people pass me as they spin  
around this circular dial  
press the digits and we'll reveal  
your secret lover

she swallowed him up  
like her favorite pill  
but every other day's the same  
just dust to cloud the vein  
you'd think it'd be better  
by now  
floating over rainbows  
we can't get down

So go on, keep your finger pressed upon  
the trigger, the time is up  
I can't do this anymore  
Nothing matters, everything matters  
But the pain outweighs the good  
The reasons can't be counted  
There is nothing left but this one  
your heart reveals so much misery  
Lost in the art of distraction  
but never-mind  
you don't know what I mean when  
I run away with my mind and  
It's better to burn out than to fade away  
I don't know, just tell me it's o.k.

Lady's Day

on March 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Some items you may include upon your altar are painted eggs, feathers, spring flowers, and violet or magnolia incense

A table/altar should be facing the east and draped with a green cloth.

Two medium yellow candles representing Lady's Day at the head of the table.  
Four quarter candles at each quart: green/earth/north, blue/water/west, yellow/air/east, red/fire/south

Call the quarters invoke the spirit of each direction: face east first and light the yellow candle, then south light the red candle, then west light the blue candle, then north light the green candle.

An example guide by Starhawk:

East quarter:  
Earth Mother, Star Mother  
You who are called by a thousand names  
May all remember - We are cells in your body  
And dance together

South quarter:  
You are the grain and the loaf  
That sustains us each day,  
and as you are patient with our struggles to learn  
So shall we be patient with ourselves and each other

West quarter:  
We are radiant light and sacred dark  
\- the Balance -  
You are the embrace that heartens  
And the freedom beyond fear

North quarter:  
Within you we are born, we grow, live, and die  
You bring us around the circle to rebirth  
Within us you dance  
Forever!

Celebrate Spring by creating your own Ostara Ritual.

Wicca

on March 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Independently we became  
The earth's clay, the salt and sea  
The ferns in the deep  
Planets swirling around like gems  
Bursting stars aided our journey  
From the ocean to the wetlands  
Where we cultivated our tribe  
Of moon and sun, day and night  
In our dreams we saw her face  
The Goddess, was kind and wise  
She gave us the path to see  
Through the wilderness into light  
We were some of the first mystics  
We were there to plant the seeds  
In the garden of the daughters  
A heaven underneath the known  
Was a paradise of our very own

Sunshine

on March 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

"When sunshine couldn't sleep"

//we watered her down...she cannot complain  
another low day, a pill she won't take  
the children struggle to hold their tongues

She was so young  
She was so young

My only sunshine

...

Nightmares

on March 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

stretch your hands to the sky feel the freedom of floating  
don't let the words weigh you down, don't run away with their ideas  
chase away the pain and remember to stay solid  
although everything is breaking and you're turning to dust  
as the demons in your heart pull you apart and you aren't just alone  
you're completely alone  
remember to take your pills and turn off the light  
because nothing can hurt you like that, there's nothing that dark  
That could pierce the soul and take away your will to live and  
force an image of a little girl in your mind, some girl you must have left  
behind...

The Last Supper

on March 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

He is yellow  
And I am a black cat  
And the sun is brightly shining  
But my heart is a feather  
In the ocean  
He is yellow  
I am a lime  
Maybe the water's shallow  
I can't really find  
A vein that leaks  
Yellow  
I wonder if he could  
Say my name  
And maybe then I would  
Know it's not just  
me  
That's so insane that's so crazy  
Because I wanted to scream  
When it rained that day

Emptiless

on March 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I need something to scream  
Like the rain in this city  
falling down across this vision  
Obscured by nothing  
But you're in the way  
when it comes to judgment day  
take your cross and criminals  
I don't like you anyway  
You've got your days numbered  
As if you'd counted on them  
To reveal infinity

Shock Therapy

on March 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I waited an hour or so for my 11:00 appointment. The place always smelled like old people and bad perfume, but this time their heater was broken. It's usually not so busy, but it was spring break so seventeen people were crammed into a room with about twelve seats. Waiting is the hard part; when I finally got called to meet with the doctor I had forgotten the nightmares, forgotten that I hadn't slept in four days, had a terrible headache, that I couldn't remember my first name because I was just so anxious to get out of there.

This is what we are paying for. Being born out of musty cellars into hospital basements, lining up in single file forgetting the sounds of the telephone ringing, forgetting the cigarettes on our breath and the fists under our sleeves, rolling up our socks and counting pennies just to pay for a lousy three minute conversation with someone who's selling us our lives, our lives and our sanity. If anyone was ever angry it wasn't me because I am a patient person. I love the feeling of being "treated" with respect by people, "treated" as though I didn't have a thought running through my head, as if someone knew what was inside of me; As if the very inside of me wasn't even there at all.

I waited an hour or so for my refill of xanax and the other things that keep a person stable when they have three or so missing links and too many dead brain cells. I don't think that it matters that I don't have a good reason to come there anymore, it's the only thing I can do to keep up with the bills. My sanity was never as important as my contribution, and my only contribution I ever had to offer was my sanity. But the weather is nice and I know that I'm alive, that's enough for me.

Shining Light

on March 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

A timeless bright sea  
Of each moment shining bright  
Captured by her hands

Each day we are born  
Into her heavenly light  
The essence of man

Pray to your savior  
She conquered pain with her grace  
A face like the moon

Kind and sorrowful  
She pulls the sea into her  
Yes, my God is one

Nauthiz

on March 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am bold and resilient  
I hold the reigns of this horse  
The streets fall evenly before me  
And the world is at war  
I am happy, I am striving  
to need that which is true  
And the fire the burns within me  
Will not be snuffed, by you  
The Sun shines brightly in the morning  
And yet here I jealously guard my son  
From the lightning bolts of war  
I'm saving my family but  
Am not fighting for my father  
If wear my own armor, I may be  
Guarding my own life  
But I know deep down inside me  
Bravery will be met with strife

Hallucinate

on March 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Now white abyss fills the sky  
Her skin is a blackened mist  
The sailors are sleeping  
Dreaming of happiness  
Jagged days are numbering  
They found her soul was split  
And now there's nothing she can do  
To repair the severed pieces  
Ask me what my name was  
I cannot tell a lie  
I am the ghost of who she was  
The girl who did not die.

Luna

on March 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Your eyes are wise and softened  
The lunar lady of my life  
Call me home to the wilderness  
Where I'd lay me down tonight

Your beauty is surpassing  
All the heavy burdens rise  
Into the darkness where  
The white horses fly

You know your yellow face  
Is the most curious thing  
When I awakened from a dream  
To see you staring down at me

I wonder why I am alone...  
So alone here in my bones  
For a soul that is dying  
I wonder what you'd say

If you were mine  
If you were more to me  
Than this porcelain darling  
The face stares back at me

Haunted Footsteps

on March 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Under a yellow moon, he walked inside  
From the cornfields in the bitter night  
This ghost came in through my bedroom door  
To pull my reverie into a nightmare

What strange sounds his fingers weave  
Across my flesh he strokes his thumb  
And through the garden I hear Eve  
Whispering with haunted undertones

Tearing me apart inside my skin  
The Man with no eyes and no face  
Took me from this beautiful world  
And said that hell was a better place

And as yellow moon watches overhead  
I hear the stumbling secrets of the dead...  
No one would know and none would see  
What life and death had done to me

For in this realm of dying days  
I know no comfort, and no one will save me  
And in his hands with terror I scream  
Because they want me to think it was a dream

In his wretched prison I am forced to yield  
Giving up my mind, my only life and blood  
Giving up the answers, giving in to a lie  
And no matter what happens, I won't cry

Rest Assured

on March 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

rest assured that this little one is safe  
with him

Lonely Tears

on March 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

fourteen lonesome beers  
drunken in the early morn'  
deafened, she is gone

let the rain fall down  
follow me when I'm still near  
but now I'm nowhere

time is black like me  
coughing on the dust I breathe  
In a painted dream

counts her five fingers  
there was once a person here  
who cried happy tears

Rainy Spring Day

on March 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The day is pale with uncertainty  
It is a crisp spring morning and the birds are gathered  
Around a ring of mushrooms in the yard  
Daffodils and violets line the walkway to our front door  
I love the texture of grass on my bare feet  
And I clasp a leaf in my hand to fan myself  
Walking along the gentle silhouette of trees  
Suddenly I hear the drip drop of rain  
So I run inside to find solace in a book

Smiling Nightmare

on March 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It is a place where no one can reach  
Far from the corners of the mind  
Where secrets spill like blood from a wound  
The sublte hiding place for the torture-bound  
Imprisoned beneath the musty floorboards  
Chattering teeth, faceless ghosts gather round  
You think it's easy being a hunter  
With your dirty socks and pocket knife at side  
Just to make sure you can banish their blood  
Smiling nightmares obscured in these graves  
Who is going to unleash their haunting breath  
When sorrow and torment ravish our ways  
Who is there to banish the nightmares in death

Imagination

on March 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Into the white light  
Magical man  
Against the night-time  
Generous hands  
Intuitive mind  
Negated efforts  
Anticipating death  
Tongue-twisted words  
In the black and blue  
Only me and you  
Nothing but the truth

Indivisible

on March 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I know...no one ever wanted me

That's why, I'm giving up this race  
You all get your squares  
I'm the angle, I'm the line  
No, the ringing in my ears never stops  
And he's got a kingdom in his pants  
I know the world won't hear me panting  
When I'm feeling out of breath  
No one look this way  
No one listen to him whining  
Just run through the window  
And find your body dying  
I guess this is how the world  
Breaks itself down  
To figure out which piece  
Is too small for the crown  
And I am a disaster waiting to happen  
I know you don't understand  
Because I am a girl and you are a man  
And this is the last beautiful thing  
I'll ever try to say  
The last wonderful poem I'll ever try to make  
I am giving up, the evil won  
You know it's there, it's God it's jesus  
the only son  
That's why I'm giving up this revolution  
I have no new words to throw around  
And it's the new pollution  
And you won't ever know what I have  
And you won't ever see me fall  
With a plastic face and a chagrin mind  
You know it's about the plan  
Everyone has something devised  
Some of us don't have the boxes  
In order, no plots no digits fixed  
We just get in line find ourselves  
We're loveless little shits  
That's how the story ends and that's  
How it always will be  
Just you and your world  
And little old invisible me.

Happy Game

on March 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

We are not done  
Look into the sun  
Let your love come undone  
Let loose, little one

Be a soldier boy  
Follow me down the hill  
We'll salute you  
We'll salute you

Momma's gonna be  
Gone one day  
And you're the prince  
Her soldier boy

To each his own  
Love is a silver bullet  
And with my hands  
Wrapped around your heart

I find the place that hurts  
Your delusion will melt  
Until we find our own parts  
In this little war of fame  
Soothing lies with our happy game

Fickled Thorn

on March 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

my inner peace,  
the fickled thorn  
finding a place between the norm  
we run and run run until the words entwine  
but each one seems square and ostracized...I'm on the fringe  
How can we reach the stars when their is so much distracting ours?  
From the beauty of the moon  
my inner peace  
and a fickled thorn

I want you to know, the wild and submissive  
The world beyond this gross habitat  
Where lizards walk in silent reverie  
This is insanity, fucking insanity  
I want you to scream something different  
Something that I can't hear,  
but everything is wavering  
Nothing is ever clear

I want to hurt you  
Violence beats in my heart  
Where the daggers twists in ruination  
When a soul's been worn beyond repair  
How do we turn love sour  
When do we pick the morning's flowers?

I wish you knew me by name  
But all you see is the same grey  
I have become the self-sacrificial  
I know things have become so...artificial  
But that's life when you're down  
Can't fight it, spin things around  
See it in white, colors aren't clear  
But nothing is beautiful to you dear

Where is that inner peace  
The inner saving grace  
No one knows the nonsense it grows  
How do we fall in love now  
When there is nothing to love  
But these speckles of dust  
running now, running away  
Because you know down here  
They don't come true

You know down here that  
Dreams don't come true  
Unless you've got some  
Big air balloon...  
Take this away  
Take it away  
I can't stay  
I won't stay here

Beautiful Burnout

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Angry hearts and smiles in clay  
The world is dead, and gone away  
No reason to laugh, don't bother to cry  
Those pills won't make you better  
You don't even have a reason why...

Just let the children chase the smoke  
One more day in hell  
Make the world a tragic place  
Ignore the weak, and give the rich dollar bills

Because you have your mind made up  
You don't know you're living for  
You never knew me  
I was the "attention whore"

Give in, give in, you sadistic twits  
Give in, give in, you fucking piece of shit  
Angry hearts and smiles in clay  
Nothing matters to me

You want something from me  
You want nothing at all  
I don't want you to need me  
I'm leaving just like you

So waste away in your reverie  
You'll lose your magic, you'll lose your voice  
And when the violence finds you there  
You'll know you're haunted by a loser's ghost

Funeral Passage

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

We lit incense of myrrh, lotus, and fern  
Then stood in seats around a circle to watch it burn  
I addressed the West, as the High Priestess  
sprinkled salt water to that corner  
Another lit a blue candle and we all inhaled the essence of spring  
I said, "Great Goddess, mother of all, from your womb we have sprung  
and unto you we must return."  
Then I lit a black candle and said,  
"Oh great lady, Goddess of the night, mighty Lord,  
God of the day, we give thanks for the life of our sister Katherine.  
You who guided her path in this incarnation and in this earthly realm,  
we thank for taking her spirit back into Your care."  
I then lit a white candle.  
"We rejoice in the knowledge that from death comes life.  
We rejoice in a life that gave so much. As above, so below. Help us to understand that death is just a new beginning."  
Then I rang a bell in the west corner.  
"From the spirit of the East, this soul began a journey that has touched so many, and to the spirit of the West it shall be welcomed back, gathered in the loving embrace of the Goddess and God until the time comes for it to live on this Earth once more.  
We are born into this world, not alone but guided by the loving hand of the Goddess, who watches as another of Her children is let to fly free. We depart from this world, not alone, but running into the wide embrace of the Goddess who welcomes Her child back after an absence.  
Our beloved Katherine has passed once more to the Great Mother, but she has not left us. The wind that rushes over the land, the sun that glints on newly grown crops, the rain that falls upon us, the fertile soil beneath our feet, and the memories and love that we have, all keep alive this soul, that shall now rest but soon prepare to be re-born. The Wheel turns."  
Then individual eulogies are read

Alder Tree

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Phoenix rebirth and psychic awareness  
King of the Woods and other worlds  
The Alder tree is the water lover  
Practice oracular powers with this tree  
Whistling the wind  
Evolving spirit  
Courage of the hawk  
Pentacle invoked  
Liberation of thee through the tree

Misunderstood

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

somewhere she lost sense  
she has no reason to cry  
Create a new agenda  
One that makes it right  
I know you don't understand

Drowning a Witch

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

alcohol's gossamer arms wrapped around  
my empty brain, I feel scolded by evil's wrath  
I invoke the waters of the west  
The air of the east and the powers  
of the direction of the north of earth  
To the fire of the south  
I blow the flame of internal truth  
In this purified bath, of salt and myrrh  
I bathe away the violence of demons  
The ones that I invited with my curiosity  
Twisted Twisted what is right?  
What is here to guide us into the light?

4:12 Pm

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

1

The heart is lacking rhythm, it beats out of sequence  
In the night I fall into paralysis and dream of demons  
Clawing at my skin and digging into my ankles with nails  
I think I'm overcoming it, with prayer- but who knows?  
Is it God? I don't even believe in God. It's too dogmatic for me  
Who should I pray to? who should I give myself to

2  
My father is here now, but he won't be forever and neither will I.  
I'm beginning to lose hope. Was I really once dust?  
Or was a just an egg that happened to hatch without a reason.  
With big plans and a wonderful imagination that has turned to  
Pieces, nothing more than fragments of semi-ideas

3  
The earth is shifting, that's for sure, too many odd coincidences  
Or is that all in my head? After all I'm the schizophrenic  
It could all be, this magical evolutionary shifting may just be  
My mind's own invention, and ideological world  
What matters now, when people use religion to escape

4  
And Christianity is the all pervasive perversive culture  
We are contained here, contained in a society that is closed in  
No one can escape, we are being channeled in to a system  
Of societal worship towards money, power, goods, fame  
No one will ever really escape this set of laws in place

5  
Like the holy scriptures, the ten commandments  
It's just another form of control over the masses  
I don't really know where this is going or if it could be  
Considered a poem, I just think that there's a lot to contemplate  
About the state of things, about the world and why I feel

6  
So oppressed, and I don't even know how to express it  
Besides drugging myself until I am in that wonderful ecstatic  
State where the lines blur and I can see humanity for what it is  
And to me, to be honestly, all this control all this terrorizing  
All these wars and fights over who gets what is extremely brutally boring...

Silver

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

A crisp yellow moon shines above where I lay in bed  
Staring up into the sky so high up overhead  
Nightmares crawl underneath my skin  
Little insects finding their way in  
But this black hilted knife cuts three ways sharp  
Into the mystery of a haunted place so dark  
I gather moss and spread its dirt forth  
As I search on and on towards the North  
To the west I scatter salty water  
And in the south I light a flickering flame of fire  
And through the east I travel on my broom  
Swirling tornadoes with my magical wand  
As I pray to lucifer when I sleep my feelings waned  
But Satan, not the light bringer, haunts me deep  
Don't you welcome evil into your sleep  
You'll find many secrets, surpassing your own might  
In the silver of the circle where the fairies are found  
The magic of these corners is where I'm still bound

Cyber Star

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

He wants me to take off my bra  
And show him how beautiful I am  
On the camera I'm exposed  
To the eager dirty of man  
When he clicks the trigger  
And my heart beat slows down  
I remember...I still remember  
What it feels like when you drown  
And I empty out my pennies  
GIving them all my spare change  
Just to have another rehearse  
The film is rolling again  
I am naked, posing for him  
And the night is cool liquid  
Over my thighs,  
I feel them draining me  
Of all my long lost pride  
He wants me to fuck him hard  
So they can see it right  
And it only looks so beautiful  
To the man behind the screen  
When I am locked inside his tears  
I am just a porn star but I have  
Absolutely everything

Our Holy Flame

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Light three candles, blue green yellow  
Dreaming is escape into a land full of color  
Watch and listen, I have no eyes to see  
So my heart is hollow and my mind is free  
The light is blinding, the world is damp  
I want to find my inner flame, I want to dance

I want to dance,  
Light three candles, red, orange, white  
Sit at the table, I have no appetite  
Find the balance upon a string  
Dream a dream, was it anything?  
You want to fly, you want to soar  
But when were you there before?  
I used to believe we had many lives  
And each were born four million times

Now the candle's flame,  
sings holy spirit  
I am finding my path yet am still unsure of it  
Can we find a place without these walls  
Stones and we're bones that constantly fall  
When will the dance end,  
when will the times change  
How do you find yourself,  
in a place that has the stage set?

I know it can't be explained,  
but where there's air there is  
More than rain, where there is wind  
there is more than singing  
You know, you are the only one I'll ever know  
Watch the roses blooming, they're still a part of my soul

Water

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I'd like to be water  
So I could fall down from the sky  
Nourish the earth  
When it is dry  
I'd like to be water  
It is so graceful and free  
Most of all I feel water  
Is full of empathy  
I'd soak up your sorrow  
And pour joy from my clouds

Labels

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Goth lives in shadow  
Listening to beautiful tones  
Sleeping in graveyards  
close to the darkness, alone  
They love to be themselves  
But often can be cruel  
If to them you appear a fool  
My experience has been that  
Goths are cool, just sometimes  
There is more to it than the subculture  
It's about horror, macabre, sometimes torture  
And being politically correct  
I don't know what you think  
But I have some problems  
When goths are mean to me  
Because I don't fit with their standards  
Which I don't even get  
because they call me names  
And most of it is bullshit

The Illusion

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Heart  
Obeys  
The will  
Of your hands  
to form  
Their beings  
Out of clay  
In the sunshine  
The wicked heat  
Exhausting our senses  
A mirage of color  
For love was an illusion  
And paradise so much farther than our feet  
Could carry  
we found love, in the candles burning  
At the vigil to our lady goddess  
When the lights went out  
All our things were displaced and never found  
But that beautiful sky shone brightly  
Like a sweet hallucination in the mind  
I thought you all knew that love  
Is really blind

Little Fly on the Wall

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am the fly  
close the bars down all around me  
shut me down,inside, then you'll see  
Lock me away, trapped inside this little prison  
tap the spine, tap tap it's done she is poisoned  
You've lied... I am the fly...it is nothing  
never-mind  
Lock me in, find your gun, shut the door  
A killer's fun  
Silver solitary fun, scalpels and knives, dirty housewives  
A gross malfunction, a child's disease...  
don't you want to say please?  
I'm too silent for this melody, slip away  
into this mechanical reverie.......  
I took an overdose of emptiness  
Pain and violence is the cause of my reverence  
to God almighty  
Flying through ambient screens,  
machines that rhetorical silence  
...that name that has no name  
You never cease to cross my mind,  
it's all the same kind of game  
That hope that means nothing to me  
We are wasting away  
WHO IS THE WITNESS today?  
Who is sweet like  
sugar and spice, who is my friend tonight?  
when you are nonsense to all you know,  
that is the reddest rose  
All the people, with faces like glue  
Fly, are you the one I squashed  
And flattened with my spoon  
I wanted to see the  
Sky, I wanted everyone to die  
I wanted to learn to fly  
Too Soon...  
Now we're just tiny insects  
No the words are only impulses we've  
been afflicted  
With our gifted fixation's fix  
It's just an illusion, gifted  
We're fed through these tubes  
The wires up our ears  
And the music fills our nostrils  
We're empty without the songs of  
Desperateness and fear  
Tranquilized by technology  
Sanitized in oblivion  
Deprived again we're nearly there  
Dogmatic principality  
Satanic and cool  
Technological zoo  
Torture bound  
By the medicine hounds  
Fly Away because it's true

I am___

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am...a mind with a reason to fly from my skin

Visible

on March 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Visions- You shake off the debris  
Find your skeleton bathed in fleshy substances  
And swallow your amnesia  
To escape the memories  
Violent lullabies, sweep you away  
I am in a new habitat tonight  
Slip away from the sea  
And you will find your misery  
Every little crumb, it's worth  
Your analyzing, don't worry about  
What you find, because it's all here  
To be left in somber goodbyes

Dancing Flames

on March 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She takes her dagger  
Plunges into the flame  
A phoenix reborn  
In her spiritual game  
A spirit is shattered  
The pieces are gathered  
ash to dust to ash to life  
She takes within the sacred knife  
Count the blessings of the three  
Sacred songs sang breathlessly  
The banshee the sidhe  
The immortal djin  
Fire behold the truth within  
Prophecies in smoke and sweat  
The dance is danced  
Exhausted priestess  
Hungry eyes, a fever of  
Astonishment  
As the dancing flames  
Release her inner torment

Haunted

on March 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Forgive me father, I do not go to church  
I have sinned, yes I am sure  
I don't believe in God, or the only Son  
I don't think that there is even a heaven

I'm sorry, I wish your guidance was there  
But too many times I called your name  
You did not care, I hated you and so you  
Cursed me with your thunderous storm

I wonder, why has HIS mercy expired  
Because I am faltering, I am hollowing  
I am following the haunted footsteps  
Breathless, deathless, I am missing

Your saving grace, the sinless son's face  
I know you must understand, How I jealously gaurd  
My sword, father I do not understand a word  
You say I am childish and ignorance you tout

Sending your angelic hierarchy to punish me  
As if I were a moron! Oh its blasphemy!  
Oh its something you'll never understand  
I am not FREE! I ate the apple. Yes, this land is your land  
This land is my land  
This land is our land, but God, I can't find the right hand.

Fate

on March 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

"I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate..." Vincent van Gogh

FATE, how the tables have been turned  
Spring comes now softly  
A dove flutters freely  
Neither am I free nor am I worthy, in  
This land where peasants still mend the trees  
I find a parting silently, a song's released  
The world runs rapidly into a stream  
I remain on the edge, a contradiction  
Her lips are my pillows, her eyes are the sky  
FATE, what brought a human to die?

Abortion

on March 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It's her child  
A fuzzy black cat  
In the corner of the room  
With eyes larger than the moon  
Knows not what she means  
Knows not what she knows  
She runs through the rainbows  
As a child she loved the rose  
And everyone says what she's crying for  
And everyone says she's not living here anymore  
It's the abuse she craves, the pain she loves  
It's your voice she obeys  
it's your whip that she touches  
It's her child she prays for  
A shadow in the dust,  
a knock at the door  
It's the alcohol, it's the drink that turned her soul to rust  
It's her child  
Wavering amidst the ragged light  
Shattered to pieces

Key To Enlightenment::

on April 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The key to enlightenemt: Liberation of the mind  
from the confindment of science  
Into the mystery of the metaphysical  
Stepping out through a window  
Into a between world, where your reality  
Is what you create from your will  
Through will we can manifest our own desires  
But these desires are not of this fluid plane  
They are of a pure essence, of God-like nature  
Through understanding the elements can we achieve  
Pure love, and through simple compassion  
And kindness, the natural human condition  
Of peacefulness and wisdom we can open the door  
To enlightenment; when we realize that  
Life is all an illusion and that we are merely  
echoes of empty space...then we learn to balance  
the yin and yang and the tao of oneness  
We are the birth and death and the universe  
exists within and without, our meaning on earth is  
to cultivate our awareness and to create our own  
Unity with the Yin & Yang, Good and Bad,  
We are the sunrise and the sunset, we created  
The Gods and the Goddess, WE, if we only knew  
Who we were and where we came from, WE  
Could finally regain power of our destiny  
To manifest our will and to solidify  
The nature of the earth we were born into.

Down man

on April 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I'm just not the fighting kind, a little too numbed down  
It must've been those days spent in long face with frown  
repetition makes an agony, and visions seem too obscure to be  
Found out in the light. I want to erase the past, make it fast  
One needle in the vein, we're still all the exact same thing  
When I have too much coffee I start to think about the why's  
The astral skies, the lobotomized, the hospitals where we learn to fly  
There is no time in the world, there is no time. It's relative  
Only to your own perception, we're scientists escaped from mars  
My land is mine, your lands are yours. I just don't know what I mean  
This seems so off, so obscene...so much of this same thing  
When will everything change, I want to see the molecules dissipate  
I want to see us forget to procreate, I want to see the beginning of the bang  
The neutral man on a moving train, I want to hear a voice inside that's good  
I want to be a person like I should be, But should is no good  
I wanted to be honest about your flaws, because humans never stand in awe  
At the brilliance of matter, the storming sun, and instead they fire themselves  
up with rabid ideals about the perpetuation of an idealized substitution  
what's the point, we're all here to burn away. What does it matter.  
What the fuck did I even try to say?

Relief

on April 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

After a night with insomnia  
I feel a sweet milky white glazing  
Over my eyes, the sun is shining  
I'm sitting on the couch  
Sipping hot tea, peppermint, dramatically  
Yes, I can sip tea dramatically  
Eyes closed and lips in sync  
I have been rescued from the nightmares in my sleep  
Contemplating the amnesia, I thought I had  
tinkered enough, tweaked a little too much  
To wake up without a hangover and a sense of relief

Close your eyes, exhale, spring in showering  
The world with soft silver glittery rain  
Your eyes are watering, breathe in and exhale  
No more restless days...no more reckless  
Whiskey rebellion  
feel the solitude, no competition, your pins and needles  
Your condition, After a night without sleeping  
Wake up and start a new rendition of YOU.

Trains

on April 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The art of slapping paint on trains  
That utter echoes of mindless thoughts  
Graffiti dreams in dreary doldroms

Bright Stars

on April 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Where's my bright star  
The planets have all disappeared  
The music only pulls me down  
I can't find the rhythm

Now

Is this the answer, evil evil dancers?  
It is the answer, the little devil's cancer

I'm on a fast run, it's never gonna end  
CRASH, silver gun, last chance  
And then, you never know....whey are we so  
Desperate? So, beautiful. I am BLIND.

My eyes are hollow

You think it is BEAUTIFUL  
Anorexic///////////////And eaten of your vanity  
Isn't it beautiful  
This fuckin insanity

Where's my bright star method- take me to the blue  
I love you I love you I love you

I am so blue  
So blue

Bright lights in the sky, can't seem to dissipate  
And we're hear for her lullaby which only seems to fade away~~~~~~~

*  
*  
*

Cradled by God

on April 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

This pleading vessel yearns for her savior  
guarding her virginity with her struggling might  
As they pour in through cell walls, a blood of every color  
Bursting in through cavities from one soul to another

Just one more night of love, hungry, their bodies touching  
Wreaking havoc in the skies, burning pride is wanting  
The child speaks, a bedpost creaks, and the lump grows  
Another game, joy must feel strange, I suppose...

Inside, where the earth cradled her shame  
Was a lifeless pearl of wanting, untamed  
Through the abusing shade, her voice was unleashed  
A cry of pain, a body struck with some sort of dis-ease

Warmed by a season of abyss, by the trickling stream of life  
Crippled in her refuge, refusing to give in to her punishment for it  
The mother, who was raped by the wrong, want of nothing lifeless  
She came too soon, this birth of accidental offering

Here I grow in this starry haven, where there only springs a name  
Here I grow in this starry haven, an earth where nature sang  
But my life is slowly trembling, they are killing me with temptation  
For I am not welcomed here, a past that is never-ending

And the the family welcomed the newborn, with a pale body of love  
As slowly she woke, cradled into death, stroked by only God  
They found her source of sorrow, and so she was abandoned alone  
In the place where she belonged, where she died, in her mother's womb...

~Gabrielle

In The White Spaces

on April 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

In the white spaces

We find introspection  
Where we invented  
The reincarnated never-ending game

As our habits grow, like greedy talons

grasping shadow

Then monsters feeding on our violence

In the white spaces where the conspiracy is shamed  
Where we sometimes hide

Untamed by black

We look and look  
But never look back  
Where is the inside of the white?

In The spaces that are always so full of

Light

The  
Stranger's Blanket Sight

Who only sees in White and Black...

In the white spaces we are forgotten by things like that...

Counting On Disaster

on April 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Counting the digits on the scale  
watching the mirror with envy and  
worshipping failure  
pleading with the Gods that be  
To be beautiful like they want you to be  
But all you do is conjure up contempt  
The rigid structure of your form  
It is nothing like that thing you wanted at all  
It is too late to starve, too late to scream  
pleading and hating, scratching and bleeding  
With your skeleton to come back to  
What it used to be  
But all you are, alien to the person "me"  
You wanted to see her in a formal dress  
But you don't wear your Sunday best  
You eat and eat and eat and eat  
You swallow your own suffering  
You starve and wash away the things  
That once meant something to you  
Dissolving from this person who is  
Counting the digits on the scale  
Dismembering each one by one  
It's disaster which you're counting on

Swinging Trees

on April 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Up  
down...  
Confusion sends my mind sailing far from this town  
my own Habitat what do you think of that  
Your eyes look at me without light, well ignite it  
Your hatred's appetite is ignorance, it tastes like shit  
I hate it  
Up through the trees  
Down in disease  
They listen in, they listen in to me  
And they reproduce it  
They reproduce my sin  
It feels too much like hysteria  
Insanity again and again and again  
Up  
Down  
Mood swings around round  
I change with the weather, we could be forever  
But it doesn't work that way no, emotional switch  
I am not rich, not wealthy, no enlightenment isn't meant for me  
I am the masses, life is a bitch  
I am the pirate  
Chained to my disaster  
To these boundaries of  
Reality  
Up  
Down  
Out and fucked up really  
Like the swinging trees  
It doesn't matter because  
YOU CANT HEAR ME  
But I know  
It's not my fault  
That I am in control  
Of the minority

,,,

Violet Shadows

on April 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

*****

Enter into the hall of violet shadow dreams  
skeletons of what they wanted to be  
Enter in through the morning in a tired summer breeze  
Can't get out, fall down low, bend down on your knees

It's just a little too insane they said  
Everyone knows you know my name  
There's no rebel cry in this place  
It's a twisted time they said

Beautiful lips of crimson, life is forgiven  
I kiss it away with my painful visions  
I'm your shadow, I'm your silly delusion  
can't get out, fall down low, life is an illusion

Drop dead doll, bullet to the head  
Kick them round, do it with a crazy sound  
We've been found out, we've been burnt down  
We've been twisted, we're no one

It's just a little too insane, they say  
Everyone knows you know my name  
There's no rebel cry on this little plane  
It's a twisted time they said

It's a twisted game they said  
It's all in your little head  
There's no rebel cry, there's nothing but shame  
And everyone here thinks they know your name

Broken Down...

on April 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I found my Mind again you see  
He took the pain away from me  
This is what I'm meant to be  
I wanted something free and true  
And all I got was broken in to pieces  
I never understood the meaning  
Of someone really caring for me  
So here I am on my knees baby  
Begging for your dignity's release  
I need the pain to burn away  
I need to feel my soul to stay alive  
I just needed someone to set me free  
I don't know what I mean to say  
But all I ever had was a broken mind  
And this desperation just isn't me  
So don't leave this girl behind  
I don't need this discord & malice's intensity...  
Swing me round like your pendulum  
Baby, And you break me down again

***

Dark Dayz

on April 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The Haunted gaze, too many pills, well 2x2  
I wanted more, stalked the aisles- or...his eyes which seemed  
To look me down and up and around, until we were unglued  
Wanted something to eat, but nothing came, I drank my shake  
Worried animal, caught in the headlights, it rained all day

I light a candle and watch it burn...yearning for  
Fire's ignition, the beautiful spirit of desiring  
Watch the world washing and washing itself away  
Like a worried animal, stalking my prey

(no one is here) Caffeine, Ritalin, Vicodin, Aspirin

I feel Haunted by people, passing strangers who look familiar  
And everyone is looking & looking bloody looking for something  
heck sometimes they're not even  
noticing...and many of them are scowling.  
Especially on rainy days like this when a little shine  
Barely missed; instead of shining it's blinding their eyes.

(cold rain hits my cheeks)

It doesn't matter much, life just fades away  
Like a flickering candle flame  
Days like this are night and day mingling with mistakes  
Because there's something someone's missing  
They are lowering their stakes.

Open me up and look into the criminal oblivious  
stare into the abyss, I am amiss  
(Unused and abused, it's beautiful)

To be garbage to the sky  
We crash into eachother, your bodies are on high...So  
High...(I'm ready to die)  
Hi?

Break Me Down

on April 4. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Break me down, it is something you like to do  
When the world's a sound, and you're on top of you  
Don't worry about those bridges your burnt down  
It's ok, my little boy, you're still the lonely one

Break me down, it's ok, we don't have to live this way  
Watch the clouds, break the silence, it's too monotone  
Killed the violence, baby I just don't know what this  
rambling does to you, it's our damnation and our truth

Break me down, it is a pill and a bullet and a masochistic laugh  
Take me down, spin around, showering in bliss, happiness

Don't I know better than to be so selfish

Starlight Dedication

on April 4. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Dear Sky Father, The God of light  
Who has been called by many names  
Jupiter, Odin, Ra, Zeus, Hades.  
The essence that binds all life together  
The joy of eternity please hear my call  
Who shall brighten my path, for you  
The fierce creator, and also  
The destroyer. From birth to death  
From chaos to matter.

Dear Earth Mother, Goddess of water  
Who has been called such names as  
Isis, Hecater, Aphrodite, Frigg and others  
The essential force, who moves deserts to tears  
Spring forth your wisdom and love  
For your essence that pours from Father Sky Above  
Friend to the meek, guide to the wanderer  
Our healer who searches deep within the soul  
Our birth, life from death and mind to matter.

Now breathe deeply.....

In this sacred place where forces unite,  
I open myself with this honoring rite.  
From this new day forward in time I have changed  
From now on I shall walk the path of the Wiccan Ways.

I dedicate myself to the Goddess and God,  
With an open mind, healing spirit, and love  
To will protection of the earth, I call on your  
Guidance to aid my rebirth.

Now rest and be silent for a moment....

I breathe in your energies into my life,  
Blending, mixing, commingling with mine.  
That I may see the divine in nature,  
And the divine nature within my soul, self  
And human kind.

Oh Great God, Oh Great Goddess  
Make me one, weave me into your essence  
Make me one, weaving into your essence  
Make me one, weaving with your guidance.

Elemental Invocation

on April 4. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

(Earth)

Artificial elements: they're guiding our planet into an age of slavery  
In these warehouses where we've settled down, our bodies slowly decaying  
We drive into the rain, graves of dirty bones where they're sleeping in dismay  
As the dead climb into our homes at night, traveling through such long dark days

I've been haunted by a demon for years: his malicious laughter taunting me  
He'll cry hollow tears of poverty and such inhumanity  
This devil of destruction, he sheds his pain of bitterness  
Striving to to win with evil, provoking terror on my earth

(Air)

We look far up high into the sky, and wonder why our world's disappearing  
We'll ignore our roots to the earth, as we climb higher into the towers we're building  
But where does humanity go from here as the atmosphere is changing?  
How do we preserve the air that we're breathing?

Spread your wings and fly, like the doves who soar the peaceful breeze  
And drink of the vast depths of her peace, Into the eternal Spring  
Keep yourself free, fluttering like a feather on the wing  
In the East, blessed Arianhrod shall keep you strong~

(Fire)

Only through invoking our elemental powers can we unleash earth's chaotic raging  
The earth speaks through her bodiless dream, through her elements we'll learn  
To burn down these walls of steel and iron...these cavities where we dreamt  
Always yearning for answers that we can't seem to find...voices echoing our imprisonment

Burning with desire for a new dawn, changing from the stagnant to the overcoming  
In a place that is cold like ice, suddenly everything is melting  
The dragon roars, a thunder of light, and she chases my tears away  
Invoke fire to dissolve their impurities by honoring Brigit and Freya

(Water)

How many times will we begin before we become too old to die  
In this land where everything is changing, I cast my world into her fluidity  
of the Universal where nothing is the same, everything is malleable and free  
But how can we even begin to seek out a new dawn, when we are blinded by greed?

The dolphins swim, chattering with laughter, in a lovely dance  
Here in the ocean where we find our primal substance  
We can grow to understand the true God of our homeland  
The elements of salt and water to honor Manannan

Earth, Air, Fire, Water  
The elements that we've been called to  
Learn to use them daily  
And you may find yourself becoming free  
From the pollution of ignorance and suffering  
In a world that is slowly dying

Water, Fire, Air, Earth  
called back to the place of birth  
Cast your worries into the sea  
And you may find yourself freed  
From a world of hunger and silence  
In a world that is full of need

April 4th 2008  
Gabrielle

Pagan Poetry

on April 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It feels so idiotic, living these desperate moments  
If only I could smooth the ripples, find a path of reliance  
Little rose petals are fluttering away  
You were bitten in the darkness by my pagan poetry

I crash...I'm catatonic, I am a maze of swirling color  
Coated by pessimism from one day to another  
So full of love and mystery, she swallows the light  
I can't say what you say, and I'm not giving up the fight

They listen to me breathing, they're listening in. . .  
They listen to my breathing, and my darkening hymns  
It feels like I am becoming lost  
This lonely dream is longing for a ghost

You can host her cemetery dance, that trance of apathy  
As I fall down through this ceiling, everything is so binary  
Because I am cut in half, I need them to need me  
I love them and I need them to feel me...what is missing?

You think it matters, no one listens to the heart beat  
I don't think it matters, I gave up I guess  
So they throw their hands up to the air  
They never really understood me either

It feels so wrong, Doctor Jeckle meets Mrs. Hyde  
I am covering everything up on the inside  
That you can't see when I'm hiding from their eyes  
Little mess-ups that build like little snow balls, so white

Overdone, overwhelmed, and it's the pain she'll kill  
Dry your tears, calm calm calm down little girl  
She will let go of this life, when the tears never seem to fall  
She will surrendor one day; She will surrender to it all

***

Of Science and Apples

on April 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Stabbedback by setbacks, plumaged with purplepeacock eye-deals  
yearning to suck out the the's and thesises to comprehend our ownershit's deal,  
To really Underline the issues at reprihand and then,  
to reproduce and draw doodles  
of man by man to man, I'm contemplatin fate without no mind to stand; under-stand  
Or fall-low? Faultering in insane rambling that is nonsensical  
to a genesis of gestured  
Gentle loathing to the fellow, Un-compliant  
with their complimentary undermining correctness,  
authoritative authoring of the underlying statement  
Double-take it back please I'm passively violent...  
This is my unpopular problem, I need some omnireliance  
It's steller, when obviously oblivion sounds all too well like helter skelter  
Driven by drivel in stupified splendour, Honorary dignified shadow of shame  
It is the enlightened force hindering our methodology  
The eternal string of flaming of beauty and wonder  
It's the nonsensical sludge of dog shit when we're matterial fun  
I'm a confliction, an underappreciative notion, it is oppression  
It's a self absorbed and catatonicalcomic invitation to the  
Reinvention of the shadow of natural self election  
This constant naming of names in a game of who tells who  
I think it's easier to say that they obviously know it all...

A Contradiction

on April 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Just one against them all  
and a superpower like God  
Jesus Christ the miracle cure  
Are you sure? Are you sure?  
Just one against them all  
Tortured, confined, a superstar  
Embrace the fame, play the same  
Game, she was embalmed and fed  
Right through the head  
Egyptian Princess so misled  
Personally, it's you or me  
Natural selection chose the free  
You'd better be acting righteously  
Honestly, and I am honest and you  
Are the befuddled contradiction  
So stop abbreviating and start  
Inflicting me with your reasoning  
Because it's flat out oppressive  
Your governing is so misleading  
And it's been boring everyone to pieces

The Doors are Closing

on April 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am alone in the dark  
The doors almost close  
I guess I should get out of here  
I guess, well I suppose  
I'm running through the door  
As its closing in on me  
Fourteen doors are closing  
All around my mind, can I see?  
I am not in the dark  
I open the door and run  
As they close behind me  
And I am running free  
Once more I am free  
I am not in the dark  
I am alone but I'm free  
Into the night  
Out from the white  
Into the cold  
Do what you're told  
Stay behind in the dark  
As they all walk out  
Alone, but never free  
Walk the path of sanity

Judgement Day

on April 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

There was a slew a settin-up for the two  
As the sun came down over yonder  
Shet their doors and out into the night they wandered  
Gripping snedes ready'n to traipse the mountain

The sorry sluggers knew they had it comin' to em' too  
The charges brought about for this murder  
A man named Jimmy Statin and his brother Jack  
This time they'd get em' and smack justice right for it.

Soon they were right sprang in front of us  
It would do them no good to flee  
Tent'n round the wood like two ugly animals;  
Both went a runnin', we got this one by me

Two a goin', the faster he tore through  
Be sure you tenter him right there  
I saw tother right yonder there straight he ran  
He tuck'd his bible to the churchyard cemetery

Wordplay

on April 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She never made the best bet when she  
Couldn't have won them over what she'd say  
She never made the choice to plea  
In the game she'd often liked to play...a pity  
She wasn't really meant for that kind of "stuff"  
She thought she understood the game of "tough"  
And when they told her to get off her high horse  
She stated with confidence, "I'm rebelling of course"  
Then when silence was all she could feel ...  
When the edges of reality were beginning to peel  
She learned that it was better not to pay attention  
To the things people were saying  
It was the name she learned that named them all  
Because it just seemed to be her fault  
Taking the blame onto her shoulders every time  
Little words picked apart like flowers all over again  
She could not lower herself to their standards, she tried to  
She never made them feel honest, she could not be the same though  
With their righteous words of blaming, blaming her for being in the wrong  
Controlling her they taught her nothing but shame, that's how they got along  
She was the ignorant apple they could not swallow  
That four letter word that threatened their shallow egos  
Sought out after regeneration, with another screw you  
She stamped out their intolerance, I'm through she'd said I'm through!  
Grow up! and she threw their fickled words as they burned away  
Cursing society for the little jokes they like to pull  
And that was how she learned the lesson of the little gurl  
when you're all alone in a big bright stupid world.

Weakened

on April 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Words blossom as  
Tendrils of pessimism  
Do you feel special?

Graffiti

on April 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

What's wrong with the paint  
it's beautiful to me  
Sprayed onto a train....an offering of beauty  
The obscure isn't listening  
As it rains crystal and dream  
I painted your heart blue  
And the world in red  
What's wrong with my passion  
Has it burnt out yet?  
Wrong or right, I'm still gonna lie  
And I'm not good enough this time  
What's wrong with your promise  
Have been broken too many times  
To follow the rules, not to color outside them  
So I spray painted your world  
Like a confetti of rebellion

Bird on a String

on April 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The light stained her eyes with gold  
Rockn back and forth was a story untold  
She'd been trained by the light to be cold  
Learning to balance herself on a wire  
She never found the answers  
She couldn't keep it all together  
There was no reason to fall away  
She had the words and knew what to say  
But innocence has a price we pay  
Victims to our masochistic play  
And so we haunt the world with rhyme  
Going "Once upon a time"  
"Once upon a time..."

Enemy

on April 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

*

*

*

Emptiness filled her soul  
Nothing was left of her mind  
Everyone had gone away  
Many came and passed her by  
Years went by yet they all looked away

*  
*  
*

In Light

on April 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

you know,

I wanted, to state the obviouse

They all left their lights off

and I always leave mine on

She Shines Apart

on April 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

stand up and smile  
to the moon  
she shines down on you  
and you are beautiful  
but no one knows how  
cold it is out there  
the free are fighting  
for every equality  
and the sun is dying  
in a land far from here  
stand up and sing  
where you stand apart  
and pour your heart into it  
because there's no reason  
to be sad at all  
the sky is full of clouds  
the raindrops fall  
so don't be shy just  
stand up and smile

When Your Judgement Calls

on April 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everyone in good society holds exactly the same opinion.  
Oscar Wilde

whiny little germs of society  
who, like insects, will not stand still  
the statements imposed by the underbelly  
preconcieved like an accidental exhibition  
She dances upon napkins  
thick with the grease of daily despite  
As they wipe their noses clean  
Of what they assume has been justly put

Worry like eyes could understand  
Drugs do that to you, sweet hearts crumble like sand  
It's like stealing candy from a baby, they taunt  
They suck on their lollies  
Bitterly,  
flaunting their roles in the system  
This benevolent society

But when your judgement calls  
she'll send that same imposing finger  
back  
to the place where your accusations linger

Sinners

on April 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She's a riddle  
He's the wrong  
She knows nothing  
But they get along

He took her money  
And then ran away  
They honored nothing  
And still got paid

Some days the sun  
Doesn't shine the right way  
As if to say something  
To the girl who couldn't stay

There was a mirror  
That never showed her face  
And the broken reflection  
Of something she'd dismissed

neverending Sea

on April 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

That ivory crucifix hangs upon his ebony neck  
Like a beautiful vision in a mysterious forest far away

I kneel before you and I am a gentle lake  
You stand over me  
Like a thundering mountain, full of fire

They aren't jealous yet, but they will be  
When they are devoured by their own agression  
They will be sweating off the heat

fanning off their slave labour

We will be cool and dark  
like the neverending sea

Social Suicide

on April 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Swallow every bitter pill  
It goes down well with chocolate and ice cream  
Binge on every disaster  
Be cliche' it's so obscene

Be a happy girl  
because you are free  
Don't run away  
Don't be like me

When he Jumped

on April 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

A little voice inside his head  
Says "just jump, just do it"  
If I could have only stopped him there  
Said, I want you to know someone cares  
But he tied a brick to his soul  
And jumped away into the abyss  
The water was calling him back home

A little voice inside my head  
I heard his sorrow, I heard his pain  
Just Jump, Just Do it, the voices said  
And I knew I was just hallucinating

And I heard that voice inside him  
Tell me now, What could I have done?  
Had he some connection to me?  
Was I involved, inextricably interwoven  
Into the choice that he had chosen?

It was just that little voice, that I  
Had tried for years to ignore, to dismiss  
The voice inside, had led me in terror  
The hallucinations, they became the wrong  
I couldn't stop him, couldn't stop them

A week later I heard it again  
What was he supposed to do?  
When he was just dropped off there  
Without a world without a care  
If only I had come to the rescue  
If only our voices weren't so demonized  
If only we had realized that  
The voices in our heads aren't always bad  
Sometimes that one voice is all you have left  
Sometimes it's important to hear them

Quiet Hope

on April 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The child raises his hand  
Waving happily  
Until it gets smacked down  
They ask him to quiet his hope  
Because his careless gesture  
Is disturbing the peace

I walked through these shadows

on April 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I walked through their shadows  
a narcissistic dreamer  
Abused until it hurt  
And it hurt so much it felt pretty

I turned on my camera, it flashed a wicked smile  
I hurried up and put my clothes back on  
After awhile  
The sex was better that way  
With me naked by the door  
Locked in tight, I don't wanna play nice  
Whore

The emptiness filled their cauldrons  
Her pagan dress swimming with maggots  
The lion becomes a mouse  
The hunter becomes a Lord  
Don't try to say another word

They took away my booze, and I stamped all  
Around like an animal  
They shut me down with games  
That twisted my ego

It felt guilty, it felt wrong  
So good to sing along  
With their shame  
I was shamed  
I was blamed  
I was tamed to play on a stage  
Invisible to me  
In the beauty of the dark  
The poverty of shade

Without mercy  
Without forgiving  
I still parade

Almost humanly  
they suggested their hands  
As it tempted me  
With their negative  
Plans

Heavenly Vision

on April 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

He offered me his hand  
As he had appeared to me  
something of a ghost like presence  
he approached so openly

His arms were outstretched wide  
As if to accept the heavens within  
And his eyes were big and bright  
Full of a wise compassion

I told him my regrets  
That he had come so late in time  
I had already spent my life  
Wallowing in sadness and suffering

He listened to my sorrows  
And then he told me a wise message  
"If you can let go of your grief  
You will never grow old, never age"

My tears began to dry  
And his body became solid  
I felt the tenderness of life  
Slowly seeping into me

"The secret I have told you  
Is the secret of happiness  
If you learn to cherish joy  
Then you will always have this gift"

Then he turned to walk away  
As a smile came across my face  
Now understanding that my sorrow  
Wasn't in that sort of place

Pebbles

on April 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I'm always careful of where I paw  
I thought you ought to know I'm pretty cute  
I think my name should be Pebbles  
Because I'm always underfoot

A Secret To Tell

on April 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I have nothing left,  
But these three little pills  
Sleeping with butterflies  
Drifting through meadows

I have never felt the embrace  
Of someone close  
I guess I had dreamt it all  
Was to happen, supposed

To be a beautiful girl  
With her intangible lies  
She hides from all her friends  
Behind a deep amber guise

forgotten by the bitterness  
She stumbles through these  
White washed places  
Emptied of his solemn kiss

Cliche'

on April 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

They never bothered  
To tell me I was beautiful  
My mother always looks past me  
Into her reflection  
Longing for some dark man  
To replace my father-who-she-never-knew  
I waited too long to say goodbye  
With my heart some sort of  
child trying to grasp at things  
That don't stay  
Just like water, everyone runs  
Right through my fingers  
You swept me off my feet  
And I dreamt about you twice  
I hate music, I hate happiness  
I want the bitterness to be beautiful  
To keep me close to her heart  
But no one sees the sun shining  
Down on the empty streets  
What is this for, anyways  
I thought I was honest  
Then I wrapped a noose around my throat  
And dared god to make me jump  
He didn't listen, ignorantly tolerant  
Of my selfish daredevil games  
I took too many trips  
Around and around with no where to go  
I lost my soul, let him have it  
He came in the night, just to grab it  
I slept restlessly, dreamt I was kissing you  
In a dream that was too untrue  
I want to wake up now, when its all over  
Pouring my heart out only leaking my empathy  
Into your porous bitter minds  
You want beautiful, go fucking find it  
Because I'm tired of trying too hard  
To impress-sick- people  
You want tangerine dreams and smoky Marlboro dreams  
Walk around with your heads held high on you tip-toes  
I'm the stuck up prick with the odd mentality  
I think I know what you can't tell  
That's the reason we don't get along well

Confidence

on April 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She tells me hello then goodbye  
The roses bleed  
I am on my knees in no church  
But 'm praying

The moon is beautiful  
She tells me not to cry  
When every other day  
Feels like I'm going to die

If perfect matters now  
You're looking in the wrong place  
I don't see smiles  
Across feigned little faces

When I wake up and she's gone  
There's nothing to kill the pain  
I steal a bottle of whiskey and walk  
Down a road that isn't going

Deep into the sunny yellows  
Of cynical people, they can talk  
But I will be right here waiting  
For the life that's left to pass away

Crazy

on April 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

she's always changing,  
her colors are red and deeper red  
the chameleon girl  
who's always dying to kill the pain  
she can't find herself  
but she's still trying, why is she trying  
What is she fighting for  
There's no one here anymore

She's always wearing blue  
To satisfy her mood  
The colors pale  
When she's been a bad girl  
The stranger's voices  
Like funny noises  
In the closet muses  
Take in the abuse  
There's nothing she can do

Far away in a place that knows nothing  
The evil listens, he knows what I've been thinking  
And that's why I'm on the bad side this time  
No prize for my shame

The line it ends where the rivers entwine  
And it continues to flow but where do we go  
When we do not know, what we wanted to know

The Day He Left

on April 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

There's a woman standing in the window  
Looking for some sunlight in the skies  
She's watching the clouds chase themselves  
Over the meadows, somewhere else  
She searches for someone in his eyes  
In those eyes was a life she used to know

There is someone here with a happy face  
He came on the day that you left this place  
When she cried she thought that the tears would show  
No one saw her wipe the tears from her eyes  
As she tore his memories from the shelves

Once there had been stability  
A comfortable place to stay  
Now there's only a place we go  
To drink away those lonely nights

She's watching them torn into halves  
And as they drink all by their selves  
She's still thinking of someone else

Miss Murder

on April 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

you had always meant good  
but your heart had turned sour

~~~~

some of them standing, some walking around and around  
as if there was a ghost chasing them down  
taking it away, minds as they swing high swing low  
and in the background, muted voices let them go

Suffering of every kind, you said she lost her mind  
Both were lost when it came that candid day  
Snap tap and almost sixteen, she lost her mindless beauty  
Drawn to their silver screens as she just laughed them away

On your own and they like to break what's left of you  
You had always meant something good, but what happened?  
Rosy lips smeared blue, in the cold it can become different  
Something so ugly, almost too violent

With false faces hiding nothing but tears  
And beauty erased till we turn to our fears  
Like strangers in the dark everything taken apart  
you had meant to do good, but what happened to your heart?

My Wish

on April 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I've noticed lately all the energy  
Around me has been full of such glory  
I'll send all my blessings and all of my wishes  
For more special days with a woman named Tory

I have been touched by an angel's wing  
She's spoken to me of a magical spring  
May the light guide her through this urgently  
Let her have this wish I'm sending today

As I toss my coins into this magical well  
I keep this hope that all her days were happy  
Because all we need is more joy on the earth  
And Tory deserves another day

Off Somewhere In The Distance

on April 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You yearn for something far off in the immediate space  
I wonder if it's somebody else you'd like to be facing  
Or maybe just those invisible thoughts you are thinking

Speak for Yourself

on April 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I scream and you scream  
We all scream for the children  
Wouldn't you like to be as happy  
As innocent as they seem to be  
Getting everything they want  
A new play station 3  
I fancy a guitar might satisfy  
Their picky little fingers  
Watch that they don't fall  
And crush their little cones  
And all their dreams will melt  
Like sugary ice cream  
Watch they don't sneak your sprinkles  
Their eyes hide that sneaky gleam

To Know You

on April 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Maybe everything will be alright  
The tiredness and this petty fight  
Parents yelling in the other room  
Gets me feeling all this gloom

All the reasons I should be happy  
And I continue to feel crappy  
Is it depression, the drugs don't work  
They usually make my eyes itch and my stomach hurt

It may seem like self pity  
I should just buck up, have faith  
Get over it, snap out of it  
Well that's just crap, it doesn't work that way

You want me to get on my knees and pray  
To a God who doesn't answer, who is too far away  
No I only hear this angry voice screaming my name  
And life is just a game, I fought, it's still not the same

People come and then they die  
That makes me a little happier inside  
To know that their as hopeless as me  
And all this negativity

The sun is out and it's shining bright  
My head hurts and I don't care to eat  
My bones are thick, my hair is oily  
I feel sick to my stomach and it's my birthday

My life is just not as it should be  
I wallow in all this regret of what it should be  
Proving myself to someone who doesn't care  
And that's the reason that I'm even there

Rush

on April 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

His best friend had no reason to be such a sleaze  
She always laughed like it was ok to be that way  
He had overwhelming look about his face  
She could not bare the pain, she learned to run away

She wanted an oasis all of her own  
Somewhere she didn't have to call home she couldn't go home  
With picket fences and the cherry trees, then she prayed  
Who would answer the questions she had

He couldn't pray with the hands he wouldn't fold  
For those he'd saved for someone else she'd said  
He was rushing through time but never got far  
She bought a ticket for the train and it took her from there

Here in the dark I feel safe, I feel free to say hello  
When the feelings all wonder at the beautiful plastic so  
Turn around, turn around, you can't say you caught them now  
I found out how you got to somewhere somehow

Such beauty, you are dying to be so far away from here  
I give you my light, you can have it today and say  
She was a friend to everyone but me, for I  
Found her a place deep that was void of reality

~*Destiny~*

on April 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I foresee many wondrous invitations from the future  
The setting free of restraints binding us to those trivial matters  
Maybe her fate will turn around, become an upside down frown  
And that joy that she needs and the trust that she earned  
With all those good intentions and dreams she'll never let go  
Bloom like a beautiful rose in the spring rain  
Well this isn't a maybe this time I really feel  
We can make this thing happen, we can make our world real

I see a land of opportunities; the streets are paved with gold, and everyone's happy  
I see a place full of happiness where no one's taken advantage of, no one's in need  
People stand together because they are there forever, there's dancing and singing  
There's music that's happy, there's beauty that's true, there's a place that isn't ruled by people who are afraid, those people who are few, they will soon realize that we all get a place when we are free, free to share our wealth, free to share our love  
Free to say that we aren't the minority or taken advantage of,  
when this happens then our eyes will shine brightly because we will be with destiny  
And no more saying that only this is mine, because everyone knows it's not only yours  
But his and hers and not really even ours...where nobody feels the need to steal  
Where everyone's equal and they know it's true, I see this but I see other things too  
I see people screaming and running for shelter from the fire, I see that people's hopes are starting to expire, I see depression and loneliness, I see greed shame and people who are powerless, I see a war between three paths which blur into one  
The God, the Spirit, and a Human as One.

If only we had the abilities to change  
But times like these are strange  
If only we could make the world a brighter place  
Maybe put a smile on another lonely face  
I would like to paint the world in a happier time  
A time when things could still realign  
No more suffering, no more pain  
Can you save me from this one again?

Someone Is Missing

on April 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

My inspiration's gone and flown  
Like a bird with big white wings  
I fold my letter into my pocket  
And hope this message carries

My muse has disappeared  
I've searched along this dark path  
Through lonely poet's eyes  
Like Emily and Plath

I rise out of the waves  
From the oceans of my sadness  
They've swallowed my tears  
And now I can't cry happiness

Although my throat is feeling dead  
From all these longing words  
I've tried to relate it to  
I can only hope that I had inspired you

Strangled

on April 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Cold numb skin drawn thin  
Barely exposed to my syringe  
Virgin eyes that sleep with a myriad of letters  
Watching shallow curves tumble  
Sliding into watery shapes  
Hugging the air, gasping at nothing  
Waiting for someone to pull me to the surface

Waiting as the pictures gradually crawl away  
Erased from the memory  
Voices shatter the painted glass I feel  
Something in that blue cloud come here

It wakes it wakes before the silences hide  
And I can't hold on to this blossoming faith  
Something pulls me back, dark wax so hollow of place  
And in the sunshine there is a void of character  
Just wait until the lights go out  
There will be more air

Paradise Ocean

on April 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Her brush bruises the page so softly  
As the honest man drowns in her rose-hip love  
Unveiling his indulgence with her silken thighs  
Leaning in to kiss away her soft doe eyes  
Singing songs of Soldier Soldier  
Come away with me, we are damaged good lost to our families  
Dragging the paint over their lifeless bodies  
Over and over again, she paints the pain in red violet hues

She stained the pages with her lemony love  
Kissing plums gingerly where violets sprang  
With rose-hip tears drowned in white wine  
Buttercups flutter in the benign breeze  
Down by the shore as she tosses her coins  
into the sea, she makes a wish that  
she'll find him there, sandy and free  
Standing tall in the balmy heat with his  
Heart in his hand, but God was she tired  
Of the watching that lonely sunset over paradise ocean

I won't be like you

on April 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I won't show any sign of weakness  
There's no reason to stoop to your level  
With your bitter words you throw my way  
As if your God-given right was to scream at me  
I wish I had something better to say back  
But I have no reason to care what you think  
You've taken me on too many twists and turns  
And everything those people will throw at me  
Can't amount to the pain you've caused  
Because you have no reason to even be angry  
I could be amazingly rich or so inspiring  
They all want to be beautiful to everyone  
I could be all the things I guess I should  
I could be doing things, bettering the world  
But instead I'm just waiting for this to change  
I can't help being stuck in the same place  
Every day I feel the numbing pain from you  
But I can't get mad, I'm not going to turn out bad too

Wonderland

on April 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

those bloodshot eyes  
of an experimental mind  
delirium and insanity  
chaotic little girl  
beckoning hollow  
muted eyes as  
onlookers portray  
a wondrous scene  
For all to see  
A Wonderland  
For the bride to be  
A star in your eyes  
A plastic machine  
We hollowed her out  
To make sheer beauty  
The vessel of plastic  
Scientific discovery  
Alice is trapped  
As we pour chemicals  
Down her throat  
Making our little show  
For everyone to know

Me

on April 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

They say to ask forgiveness  
To save me from this awful crime  
To put God before my sinful soul  
they say that it'll be alright  
When I went to the father  
To confess that I was so bad  
He wrote every deed on a list  
And then I payed for them in cash  
He said that I need to be forgiven  
If I wrote a check for God  
Then I'd finally get even  
And I found that statement odd  
Who is this man that stands so tall  
Who knows my sins so very well  
Why should I put God before me  
When the man doesn't even adore me  
I know my spending has gotten worse  
I have no change left in my purse  
And apparently this sort of addiction  
Is only a female affliction  
So why should I pay a penny  
To be raped by this infamous "He"  
He's never made much of a difference to me.

Red

on April 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Toss a wish into the well  
Wishing a child is happy today  
Wrap a sheet around her feet  
And kiss the sun goodbye

She sees the light at the end  
When the road turns to bend  
And the colors all melt to one  
That is brighter then just some

If one day she had spent it all alone  
She'd trade it for one more day to scream  
Those thoughts that trail away  
And it doesn't seem to matter now

Somehow things get reversed  
That's what happens when you're cursed  
I guess I meant it when I said  
Look, my luck was just as bad

Death's Paradise

on April 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Trapped  
Inside  
A paradise  
They are watching her  
Every next move  
Don't go inside of here  
You will find a tragedy  
Don't move or think don't breathe don't dream  
Your life may not be what it had once seemed  
Life could not be the thing you once believed  
Don't hope don't fear don't dance don't play  
Count your blessings for they become  
Shadows to this broken moon  
What do we believe in?  
Walk into the light  
Find yourself there  
So alive  
Bright and  
Free

Seeing Light

on April 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The light flashes and he is struck  
One million dollars down on her luck  
The heart beats and nothing gives  
She lives he dies and leaves her behind  
Three sharp knives piercing the mind  
He spills like hot wax into oceans of love  
Only the sound of a strange summer breeze  
Gives the strangest melody  
And then a whizzing pop as he plops down  
Frozen in dread, fingers gripping his heart  
As if the world had been torn apart  
The light flashes and he's on fire  
One million dollars of burning desire  
The heart beats and once again she feels free

The Soldier's Wife

on April 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I hate the feeling of you crawling under my skin  
You're in a secret chamber down in some place I don't know  
Surrounded by metal; in an emptiness you cry  
Isolated soldier, why did you have to die?  
Isolated soldier, why do I cry your tears?  
Isolated soldier, why do you hang around here?

I love the feeling of you whispering under my breath  
Seeing double, images in my sleep, with that battle cry death  
You wanted to see me soldiering through  
Don't despair soldier I will not die  
Don't be sad for me, I will forgive you  
I show no sign of weakness, I show no pain  
I know the answer is mercy and compassion  
You teach me those lessons, you show me it plain  
I see them clearly, but you still frighten

Sometimes ghosts appear to us, in mysterious ways  
Sometimes ghosts come to us for help, what can we do but pray  
That they will be set free, from the chains of their past  
That the nightmares will cease and that God can be at peace

A tear falls from my eye  
You act pretty evil but when you reach out to me  
With one hand you grasp at divinity  
I will be the angel in disguise, to carry the weight for you  
For you who cannot see the light, you who are not so few  
You who are barely breathing, and at the end of your rope  
I will bring you back to this life, I will give you my hope  
I guess freedom has a price to pay  
As we parade through the streets to look for Mary

Why did he fall to his knees  
When the rose appeared from his dreams  
She sent him her love and a wish to fulfill  
I want you to have your life, I'll send you another angel

Shivers run all through my body  
As I beg God to forgive me  
For the soldier who is calling me home  
For the solider who needs a name

And if I had one last prayer  
I would see you standing some place alive  
Free from hate, free from delusion, and free to be happy again  
Free from these hardships I hadn't known to be  
Free from your worries, free to live a life of truth, to see clearly  
So here I am, and Soldier, I can still forgive you  
But please will you just stop haunting me

So here I am, and Soldier, I still forgive

Paradise

on April 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The light flashes and he is struck  
One million dollars down on her luck  
The heart beats and nothing gives  
She lives he dies and leaves her behind

Trapped  
Inside  
A paradise  
They are watching her

Toss a wish into the well  
Wishing a child is happy today  
Wrap a sheet around her feet  
And kiss the sun goodbye

They say to ask forgiveness  
To save me from this awful crime  
To put God before my sinful soul  
they say that it'll be alright

An Epidemic Pride

on April 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She has forty lives awaiting her  
So let's progress a little further  
No more looking at what's on the outside  
This shallow fever is an epidemic sort of pride

Smoke

on April 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

early morning,  
nothing is the same  
dark and Grey  
feel no pain

early morning  
all is white  
smoke inhaling  
it'll be alright

she doesn't care  
love isn't there  
he doesn't care  
he's gone somewhere

tears in the morning  
I have been laughing  
I have no mind  
I think it matters less now

She takes the ride  
Every day is the same  
They're watching her  
She loves the rain

Gripping his elbow  
Knowing love is a cold shoulder  
Cold like sorrow  
Bored- overdue tomorrow

Swallow  
Swallow

The Glory of God

on April 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You  
are the  
morning sun  
rising from life  
after life again  
the peace and quiet of  
an afternoon breeze and shared  
laughs in these beautiful lives  
I know you deserve all the Glory  
you share with everyone gladly

when people are in need, you will lend hands  
you don't feed the evils of mankind  
you see everything, know all  
and you know our hopes so well  
you shed light on the dark  
for our sufferings  
You cry the rain  
You see us  
and you  
reign

Who  
would cast  
you aside?  
with bitterness  
for pains they endured  
you won't settle for less  
Than the grace to all which you  
blessed, the light is there, the light will  
always be here throughout our struggles  
Even when these clouds of despair hide you

The stars still shine beyond all that we see  
A bright shining place full of wonder  
and miracles, divinity  
You are the morning sunrise  
you are the calming hand  
The summer's rainbow  
A child wishing  
With my God  
I am  
Free

Seeing the Light

on April 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Goddess of the golden tears  
Mistress to the tide that is rising  
Bring light shining in through me  
In through me bring this light shining

Golden hair of sunlit fields  
Of many flowers, wilder than her eyes  
Tomorrow dawns, a new birth of laughter  
Angels' songs will carry me over

Ageless sunrise, off sweeping new horizons  
Despair and darkness rules the winter night  
Bring the softness of lullabies  
And the quivering halo of ageless life

Golden sun, the fortunate spring I've sought  
The eternal shore, of waters everlasting  
The savior seeks his children, the water is so fresh  
eternal drink of purity, be blessed

Salt protects, mixing salt with water and blessed wine  
We seek to create an image, brought to your eyes and mine  
Sunshine is freed by the cloudy mist  
And an ocean of rain comes following her kiss

The thorns wrapped around her heart  
Can contain no more grief  
And if you seek an Angel or a God  
You must get onto your knees and pray relief

Show the world you are worthy  
To begin this amazing journey  
Through the sorrows of agony  
We venture into the many eyes of our new eternity

Caffeine

on April 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

My sweet release, this twist of fulfillment  
In enchanted coffee cups where dreams all come true  
Spiraling away for a little while just to  
Sweep my soul into this delirium

One step, two steps, and a savior is born  
Under silicone skies, a plasticine girl  
Sudden humor, breaking through helium balloons  
Inhaling intoxication from the darkened perfumes

Branding the joke, the sky, and all these dreams will cease  
No beauty no faith and I will rest at last, please  
Stumbling away from the shackles that bind  
One chemical fix for another deadened mind

Couldn't save her soul, she's got a story to tell  
There is a man sleeping in late, with no one at all  
But she will find her mate, they will embrace  
Maybe someday she'll get off the plane

To see the sunny shore and free her eyes  
the light is cold, the morning is dead  
But for all the words she heard them say  
Not one of them could ever be repeated

As she casts a lonely stare  
Away down a hall of white and grey full of memories  
She wonders why there's nothing but this fix  
When it all boils down to chemical transparencies

Climb

on April 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Find a solitary hill  
And climb it to the top  
Overlook the world  
And find yourself falling  
Swimming in hysteria  
That's how it feels  
To find nothing in return  
All your passions burned  
When you choose the path  
To walk on alone  
With no family and no home  
Just remember there is  
Always another hill to climb  
That's always ending  
With a new one

Fair Flight

on April 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Silver wings fluttering by  
Dreamy eyes shed sapphire tears  
Wine-stained lips and pointy ears  
The elvish fae who learned to fly

Journey in the beautiful garden  
Where pixies play in the light  
We have every imagination  
Conversations won't die out by midnight

Remember, love, the dancing sprites  
With crystal prisms of rainbow kisses  
Remember, to make a wish tonight  
For the lover, your lover misses

Strawberry Love

on April 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Wasted all my love  
On low catatonia  
No one listens  
So I eat strawberries  
In the house alone  
How long do we remain  
Before we don't even  
Live for ourselves  
I'd like to paint the sky  
With my strawberry pain  
In a hypnotic dream  
You were above me  
And you heard every thought  
That bounced of the spaces  
And I wasted my love  
on empty embraces

The Jeweler's Box

on April 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

For what man would wait?  
With a coat that had grown so heavy  
That disheveled mop of curls  
With one wave his body sways away  
Creeping through the hills like solitude  
A pack on his back, traveling through the traffic  
Can you manage to stop them falling down  
His muscles ache, the bags under his eyes  
Releasing mere solitary frowns  
For what man would wait?  
For what has already been found  
With a lonely look in his eyes  
She has grown used to the sound  
Sadness and melancholy  
It's the most glorious mistake  
To undertake, he looked for this  
For way too long.

To Show a Tear

on April 22. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You are alone like me (indifferently)  
But we share this difference- of similarities  
See, I cannot laugh or cry, I'd be dying

You are alone like me  
Your poetry you shares the same melody  
Sings songs of empathy (gentle apathy)

When no one else is there (a soul survives the ashes)

You are alone like me  
When I want to see the world changing  
And nothing goes my way (blood is blood this way)

So I try to pray but why pray  
When I don't think it'll make a difference  
My words aren't golden, they were all stolen  
By someone else (stolen by your eyes lie)

You are alone like me (so quietly)  
If only I could feel for you  
But these tears have all been cried  
My eyes have been dry of dreaming

So I sleep all night and think  
And a dream all day without notion  
I go through all the motions  
Why, will someone please help me?

I thought I'd never love you  
With your dark  
But now I see it's your darkness  
The keeps me alive in my heart (that keeps things apart)

SunShine

on April 22. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Sunshine  
Brightly patterns  
The sky through clouds  
I wonder at their  
Crystal myriad of colors  
Sunshine  
Brightly illuminates  
Intimidates  
All the bane of our  
Pain

Bloom

on April 22. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

in the dark oak  
branches  
embrasing spring buds  
lifeless flowers  
bloom again

Once Upon a Time

on April 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She  
Still once  
Was confined  
Conditioned I  
Suppose that she had  
Almost everything  
Stolen by those "evil men"  
Prozac and she spent memories  
But I listened carefully still  
And now all i have are memories  
Those questions that constantly avoid me

We

on April 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

we  
wither  
for no one  
can see our scars  
just because we are  
Forgotten by their cries

Take Up Arms

on April 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

If I could only open you my arms  
To welcome you into this sorrow's song  
I'd hold you when they'd sound their alarms  
If I could only open you my arms  
We'd be safe and you'd be so warm  
With me now there'd be nothing wrong  
If I could only open you my arms  
To welcome you into this sorrow's song

Help Me out

on April 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

VICODIN My misunderstood heroin  
Nonsensical Unwanted-----unexpected  
We waited on her last expectations  
Help me out blow me away, my ribbons tied  
To the last game...  
They want more, they wanted more  
Writing for---no one.  
She's got another gun  
To help someone, chain me to the floor  
I have no passion- not for you  
Stuck in two  
They only loved Van Gogh  
When they watched him skin deep  
Beneathe the coffin's floor  
Now tell me you adore me, you,  
A Somber queen...  
They roll their eyes, like they know what I mean  
Every scar you carved/craved  
When you misbehaved, to fall into a digital circus  
And notice they all looked the SAME  
you played the game with vicodin  
You have the same name  
You're a sinner, a skinner  
A bald girl who's still losing the game  
And no one can help him go  
Plunging millions of inches below  
Hit the rock deep in the river  
And still you act like I'm a creep  
Help me out  
But you don't hear me shouting  
And it's too late to crowd the city  
No, none of you on here  
Have got any dignity.

/Undifferentiated \

on April 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Ophelia, the first must be last  
Christ, Lift my spirit up  
I rise I rise and then I fall  
You filled the silver cup

Look into the flames  
They see no names, no names  
Then she asked them, "Who?"  
"I am... I am...I'm you."

Because Ophelia never listened  
Because Christ, she never knew  
Because I'm raising up the stakes, for you

So cold and safe, that's how she feels today  
Although we're separated like tiny stones  
In boxes we pray, on our knees we listen  
To a pretty land- where everyone dies  
I found mine, yes, I had those diamond eyes

Three days in there, but soon I will be free  
Three days isolated by Ophelia  
I raise you I raise you and yet I fall  
You give me nothing, because you take it all.

White streaks of lightning and I'm full  
A stretcher plunges through oblivion  
This may be my last chance silly boy  
You were never someone I could rely on

Different, that's what he said to me  
And when they fed me lullabies---like nothing could be  
Scalding black, give me it back  
Fifty pills wouldn't be enough to kill the pain--eternally

I need more of that harder stuff  
Scream just one more time, because that's what I want  
Baby, it's the kind of thing I crave- he's depressed she undressed  
It's fine! One number, call me your lover, I'm wrong

Superficial men love to hate  
It's all rehearsed- a schizophrenic melody  
I see a High man he flies on glory  
He can raise cotton fields out of the seeds of history

And there's no cocaine, cocaine  
No pain, there's no heroin no heroin Vicodin masochism  
This is my self destruction  
I have no instinctive reaction

Tell me something new-so I can repeat it to you  
I am mirror mirror on the wall  
And after all, it's all lost  
And that's the cost to when and how we wondered at all.

A Beautiful World

on April 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The silver bells rung like a hurricane  
And as the red carpet unraveled for Jane  
She walked straight down the line  
Such a beautiful dress, that she had on...

She was just like you are  
With golden locks and green eyes for stars  
She had been loved by them all always  
But she didn't care for just one

Letting them pass on, just pass her by  
Her only lover, was a silver gun  
As the bells rung she ran away  
without a word to say

She strung ruby red  
Across her neck  
like she had meant it to be  
That was Jane problem you see

No one cares for me  
she cried it again and again  
The truth is, no one really did.

But of course  
no one will get this message...  
it's too late to care  
because we're filled with greed  
shame malice hate and despair

people won't understand  
I doubt that they'll see  
This isn't just my choice  
It's your choice- to be free

The Ruby Kiss

on April 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Drink deep of my golden cup  
And share these ruby lips  
Stare deep into a sparkling  
Upon my silver crown of bliss

Rain down upon me like wet kisses  
My offering to you  
Upon me, sweetly embracing  
Freed, this child I had loved

Who lives inside of my heart  
Gone, when we were vacancies  
Darkly creeping away  
Out through the gentle pines

Every morning, the child is the same  
Look into his eyes, so hopelessly wide  
Reaching out while still denied your precious time  
You can share my dream, you can share our fear

A wish fulfilled, the promise kept  
I denied it long ago for I suffered of faith  
Now I see the light it enveloped me in prayer  
Seeing your grace, as if your shoulders were wrapped in wings

As if you'd risen from these ashes and turned me to your desire  
A passion renewed as you filled me with sweetest tears  
The jewel in the sea of dust and pain, of suffering  
You brought me back to a joyful love of Spring

So share this with me  
Share all of my wealth, with my secret told  
We will find a fertile land of peaceful melodies so sweet  
My ruby jewel, just one little kiss, bestowed upon this solitary cheek

Hopeless Tears

on April 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Heavenly white roses  
Raining down on the free  
She calls his name  
He covers his eyes so that he cannot see  
Whispers crying  
I can hear the moaning banshees

Alissa don't go dying, my child you aren't happy  
In a suicide she's creeping  
Now she travels the ocean, now she drowns in the sea  
Or the mountain or the haunted house on the hill  
There's one last bottle of pills, she can't feel anyways

They're smiling down on those angels- given wings of medicine  
She refuses to face the crowd, feels like hell today  
Kept quiet, She leaves the message in her last bottle of wine  
And disappears- something just isn't right today  
Eternal suffering, life was betrayed...

Run run run like the beauty that just could not escape  
Race through the world into the sun  
Let it go out like the dead man  
Wishes or commands, it is always the same thing

She doesn't have a heart to lend a hand  
She doesn't live for another man  
Who dives into a realm of fanatic dreams  
Sometimes I wake up and can hear them  
Screaming at me again and again and

..Wake up! Shut up! I'm trying to  
Find the light!  
And then then they disappear  
All like it was just some disastrous play

Scattering off the stage- how pathetic our emotions bleed  
Words of nothing, words of her last breath  
She has a rose for his heart that couldn't escape its death

You're happier that way  
Without love, your life just goes its way  
Karma pays out

They rule us in this game  
Save your pain for them  
They'll laugh it all away  
Save your pain for your heroin

I'm gone, it's ok.  
You're free.

Last Dance

on April 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Save this romance for your sweet lover  
It's in the way that he's standing there  
Whispering kisses, she's a dancer

Erased

on April 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You have no mind  
Left behind  
No one would tell  
What happened  
What happened  
You have been erased  
You have lost pace  
You can't remember  
forever or never  
you'll be there forever  
forever or never  
erased for the better  
you can't remember  
erased  
you blew it  
if you knew it  
if only you could do it  
the truth you should know  
for it was all you had to go for  
you were never ever the girl  
you thought that you were  
you are the one  
for me  
the one  
for me  
you are  
and you will never  
never or ever  
you won't remember  
the truth  
it was never ever  
meant to be  
fuck sanity  
fuck insanity  
fuck sanity  
fuck you  
me  
fuck you  
me  
fuck you  
see  
fuck  
fuck you all  
free  
'fuck it I don't care  
it's easy

Once upon Neutral Train

on April 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I remember when...I looked into your eyes  
Inside of them, I saw something I may have left behind  
After a memory had been lost  
Because the lines are crooked- and they are the same  
I remember when I saw you cry  
You were gorgeous with your glittering tears  
And I saw you wash down all your fears  
With my craziness, a melody, and everything had meant to be  
This time I know what's true  
I remember when...I used to love you

You were so sweet  
You were so kind  
You were so free  
You were so blind.

I remember when...I left those dreams  
And spilled my wishes in wells of happiness  
Fantasies, I lifted up my dress  
To every boy who'd pass  
Just to realize  
I had caught the latest trend  
Those men with silver tongues  
Who didn't know instead of something  
They had nothing but love

You were so sweet  
You were so kind  
But I am free now  
And you are so blind.

I remember when... I had too much to drink  
And slept on magazines that spilled out through the hall  
And I was a wrecking ball, I owe you now  
You took me to the park and we played basketball  
But no one told you how fun it was  
To dive into the pool with nothing on me  
But you aren't the one who I really  
Love

You were so sweet  
You were so kind  
But I am free now  
And you were left behind.

Love is love  
Love is free  
But you won't ever know  
How much it meant to be

To be loved and happy

I remember when I was...dreaming to be  
a sun in the sky  
Now we're all too high  
To feel nothing

And I feel nothing  
And you're just lying to yourself  
And no one else is you  
But you and you are you too no one else  
And I am me and I am me

Love is love  
Love is free  
No need to be so sad  
Because we're all someone else today  
And I've had enough  
I've had enough  
I've had enough of your sympathy  
I remember when you were gorgeous...but sugar is sweet  
And flowers are nice  
I had to repeat this twice  
Sugar is sweet  
And violets are blue  
I don't know what you think of me  
I think of love  
I think of life  
And when I'm done  
I try again  
And so I spread  
All of my love  
So that I can dance  
In the rhythm of the skies

...

Neutral on this moving train  
In a world that is neverending...

Sleepy Apathy

on April 25. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

lonely people pacing back  
and around again through the underpass  
as I gently stroke the brush against the forest  
I paint the walls  
my nest is here  
where no one sees- my lucky lips kiss his aching heart  
like saving his gaity  
and my heart is a shadow on the day that  
you were homesick and cold  
low like my head didn't even  
have anything  
left inside it  
but I can see the planets are  
all alligned,  
every flower is blue  
like you, truly, every single note has  
sung  
So I write because Im apathy and I can't  
care  
I see his face when I sleep and  
I dont know why I sing along to the  
song because the song is supposed to  
make me feel better, so I wrote you out my soul and you said  
get well soon...with my sleepy apathy  
I cried for just no reason.

The Popular

on April 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

They sold her dead body  
To a man with a silhouette smile  
They shared their tongues in cold allies  
Where he fell in love with denial  
She slept in, the day was weak  
Pale with animosity and bitter powerlessness  
She took another pill to perfume her love affair  
She took his love, and wrapped it all around her  
Dancing with ribbons, of colorful light...  
And he raped them every other day  
With a Saturday craving life  
Carving bloody letters into her hips  
The man who was taken by the crucifix  
Jesus Mary and you still carried them all  
A beautiful silver ring, finding memories after the fall  
Driving through her polluted painted mind  
There is nothing here they cannot find me, wake up  
When the bell breaks, the cradle with rock  
Her lips were grey, a dusky grin slipped by  
When he was inside the day grew thin  
They sold her dead body  
To a man with a silhouette in the shade  
She never will know it  
Trading rhymes for a crime

Sick

on April 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Everyone is looking the other way  
And I have nothing inside  
I have nothing inside  
I have nothing  
Inside

Reasonable Case

on April 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Open up the vein  
To see the body pour  
Your skin the dry vessel  
Your heart is still still there  
That's why I would rather  
Be one with the water  
You know its fluid  
And free of society's matters.  
it is a cloud of  
grey matter  
that hovers over our beautiful ...  
the residue of- life's laugh lines  
-time.  
counting the digits on the clock  
they continue but we  
don't stop  
people pass me as they spin  
around this circular dial  
press the digits and we'll reveal  
your secret lover  
two friends  
injecting morphine  
as they sit on the top  
of the hill  
she swallowed him up  
like her favorite  
pill  
but every other day's the same  
ebony to cloud the vein  
you'd think it'd be better  
by now  
floating over rainbows  
we can't get down

Tortured Poet

on April 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am not sure (not sure at all); the sunbeams hit my face. Honesty has become dangerous thing to me. People want to know the truth, yet they deny---it.  
I am brutally honest to people usually. When I walk through walls, and see ghosts in my sleep, I notice that no one is here. Everything is fiction and still none of it matters. If it did, it wasn't me that fit in with your matters. Concerning poetry, it's all cliche' and I can't stand writing anymore. All my rivers have run dry and I have this issue- I can't seem to put my cares into perfection. I feel this is a waste of time. But here you go- I sleep with the lights on because i am afraid of the night crawling over me, like tiny spiders.

I have all the time in the world. To waste. This is just crap. Just junk. And no one would really get me now. I don't have enough speed to get these thoughts out. I am blank, and I can't write- because I have been too tired to understand. The divinities reaching out towards me. And there is a light that I can only see when I am chained to the drug of animating our shapes into bones.  
I read the good poets, shaking off everything digital we rhyme with nature.  
Christians pray for a Savior- and all I can do is deny- for fault of freedom, the choice is mine. Black and white dreaming.

Beaten down, broken down- till all is colorless. I wish I had a million bursts of light flashing within But maybe writing is about saying things people don't want to hear anyways.I have no reason to rhyme, no reason to live.  
Bloody men follow me through my curves. I am shadows and I am slow. I don't know what to say.I am full of anger because I have given it all to this place- and all I got was more emptiness.

its better this way

on April 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Injecting death  
like it was meant to be

Wait and Stay

on April 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You don't read me well  
You sold the words to Hollywood  
I walked the line  
I'm doing fine  
I'll be better anyways soon

Alright?  
The heart I quiet  
The lightning bolts inside  
My head is aching  
The pills, please don't break down  
My appetite is dead

You don't read me well  
You sold your words to Hollywood  
Well  
I walked those lines  
Im doing fine  
good

I'll be getting over it soon  
Alright?  
The light is in my eyes  
I can see the light  
My heart is bleeding  
My words are sinking  
Down  
Down we go

You don't know  
Me well

You don't read  
At all  
You thought you knew  
The world spun right  
Round your little head  
How about we play  
Death?

One last goodbye  
Say it now  
Save those pretty words

I'll give it all to you soon  
I can see the light is gone  
My heart is broken  
You stole it away  
I have to go now  
But you can stay  
Wait and stay  
Wait and stay

Strawberry Knives

on April 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I know you

I know you

....

oooooooo

You don't read me well  
You sold your lies to Hollywood  
I walked the lines  
I'm doing fine  
Just like I should be

Alright

The heart I quiet  
The lightning riot  
Inside my head  
My appetite  
Is dead

I'll be over it soon  
Alright  
The light is in my eyes  
Strawberry knives  
I see the light  
In your eyes  
I guess you're right  
Hollywood lied

Emo

on April 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

crazy dead leaves  
full of love  
and hate  
both new  
and crazy  
dead lovers  
hang  
around  
town in twos  
nothing matters  
when the horse  
is dead  
I never meant it  
anything I said  
and hate  
is just a word  
and life is just  
love

Sir Thomas

on April 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Sir Thomas  
Where are you heading  
With your silvery shield  
Aglow in light  
Sir Thomas  
Where is your mistress?  
How do you fair tonight  
With that ghostly  
Appetite  
Apparition  
Nightmare delusion  
Sir Thomas

Insight of Paralysis

on May 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I silently watch from the street  
As you with your dark mysterious eyes  
And shadowy brows creep away  
From me and my alternative reality  
You don't want anything that sticks  
To you like a sticker or that hits  
You too hard to notice me for this is  
Like a sore thumb, I ring my hands  
And coward away from the light  
And tonight is the same as every other night  
Paralyzed by your haunting insight

Mindless

on May 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Cant inhale intoxication  
Find myself inhaling waiting  
Patience dying I am dying  
Goodness knows I'll leave it alone  
Can't help but feel free falling  
Nothing matters I know nothing  
Nothing matters I know nothing

Can't kill help feel worthless  
Feel better then I don't know  
Why I am so stuck  
Fuck  
Luck  
What  
the hell ever

This yearning she did sever  
This passion became a never  
and the rhyme was a waste of forever  
Everything is wasteful in here  
And I am dying to be near  
You  
Here

And I cant think  
And everyone is on the brink  
It's another illusion  
Silly delusion  
Stupid manifestation  
New world destination  
Crack whore girl fever but  
I am tired of everything  
You're nuts  
Good luck  
With all of that

Thinking.

The Thoughtless Gesture

on May 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

carpets yawn in his presence  
like the black sweater she wears on Sunday  
To a Tuesday nobody cared about  
And the days grew cold like ice cream  
And my body felt your fingertips  
Carefully crushing each one of my onion layers  
Where my heart was once a beating fish pool  
Now an enemy of the State  
Lost in the crippled narcissism of loving older men  
Who are merely pretty angels in disguise  
With mustache smiles hiding lies  
And creep about in dirty socks looking for some little girl  
Who's that bad enough to mind

Supreme

on May 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

On these pained sad darkened dismal bleak lifeless days  
I'll spend my life drowning out my eyes, the usual strain  
Walking with shadows in a crisp winter's gaze  
Clear as the stark cloud whispering a draft in the sky  
And leafy as the petals strewn about a sweet fresh lie  
That justice comes boldly bounding out through  
meadows of a sapphire  
Mind spaces in time like a fishbowl of life  
Heartless gestures of a wanton crystal dream  
You fell in love with meth and solitary screams  
Screens with candy dope drumming hope on a string  
As if that last little line could have bought you anything  
Or one, one more thrill to kill the pain  
Die out at twenty one just like Cobain  
You know your smile is whiter then the cream of the crop  
When you're as dumb as a rock on a log in a swamp full of nuts

Numb

on May 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I'm bleeding vanity as  
the elephant  
dreams like the crooked drunk on highlights  
another spineless twist  
paralyzed in a spin high  
on listlessness  
it's a sin  
To be living in this porcelain

biting on a breathless stare  
one fist clenching  
your pretty delirium  
and whispering  
denial

in that ugly crimson

Prove The Rain

on May 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You lost your mind on a delirious plane  
Beautiful headlights beamed you into the sound  
Of free falling down like the rain into the rain  
Beautiful people with sassafras minds  
Can't seem to show what they know to the ones  
That always seemed to get left behind  
Like a suicide carnival escape from their eyes

Shadows on the corpse of everyone's trace  
You cannot leave me here in this place, God  
When all I want is a forever is there a forever  
When there are too many nevers to count anyways

Beautiful Lies

on May 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Betty carries her backstabbing knife  
Because she has nothing better to do with her life  
That's why they like Betty better than me  
She sold her soul for a backstabbing knife  
And that's why you say my life is trite  
Because I don't carry that happy knife with me  
Everywhere I go stabbing at everyone I see  
With the glare of animosity that isn't really  
what you would call mature civility  
So laugh and laugh so quietly  
You think it's a joke but you are the one  
Who knows so much better than I do don't you  
You're waiting for me to lose ground  
Guess what I have found- you fuckers all owe me  
yes that's right I'll admit this that I am guilty  
Guilty of carrying that knife it defended me  
In this world an adjective is treated like a diety  
And I have no moral maturity for your mundane lives ironically  
There is nothing better to do then sit here and write poetry  
About people who understand me when they aren't understood  
By the people who understand no one but they're better off  
Without people like me yes it's 1 and 1 and 1 and me  
And no one you see you're all full of shit you can read this right  
Read it then and you will know how I feel about it  
your society is a waste of time and I made a statement rhyme  
I can feel at least I can still feel and I know who I am  
And god damnit I know you know I will be losing it pretty soon  
And you never made it better did you now  
You never made it better for me or anyone  
And everyone is dying and everyone's losing a mind  
Then this idiot here can't read the bold  
because he is colorblind

Testing The Waters

on May 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Everything reverses  
The sound muses with the light  
On a soft patch of white  
Clouds  
Drifting like lullabies that die  
Every night

And you  
Sound like the rain  
Falling down  
Around my face  
And I hate it  
That I love it  
And that you know  
I can't have it  
And you know  
That I have no one  
Too

Everyone falls faster  
Everyone finds a safer place  
To hide their faces  
From the light of nothing  
And no one knows what they wanted something

This is the same  
This is the same  
Game  
I liked to play  
When you were away

And you  
Sound like the rain  
Falling upon  
My lonely eyes  
And this is  
Not my kind of family  
And you know  
This feels funny  
I can't laugh  
At my friends who are  
Still pretending  
That they are loved  
By everyone  
Pretends that  
They are loved  
By everyone and and  
And you are no one

No you can love me  
Like this  
Go on

white line

on May 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She is a zombie to them  
Like the crimson white halo above your head  
She was free to run  
They shamed her sunshine  
And it was the fastest place to hide  
And you wanted a price to pay  
For pain  
For pride  
For the same thing you hide  
From me  
From light  
The same thing you want  
From me  
Zombie

She is a zombie isn't she  
The same person  
To the same free  
Lies  
And everyone knows  
She's nice

My Favorite Poison

on May 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I check the pulse every day  
To make sure it's still there  
The games you played with my head  
I still can't feel the pins  
In my face  
You fucking loved to play  
With the water  
You like the little boys  
It's my heart you wanted freedom  
I checked your face to make sure  
It was still laughing  
That Saturday you left me  
In chains and I couldn't hate you for it  
You proved the world was bullshit  
Find your poison  
Hate the definition of please  
And find yourself disaster  
In riding pills like white horses  
Flush the white out of your face  
This is the beauty of disgrace  
I can't hear a thing you say  
And everyone is the same  
And I don't waste my hate on people  
Who can't humiliate themselves  
At all bitch  
It's this smile that you disguised  
In white pearls of  
Love  
I love the way it tastes  
to feel the sour waste  
Of your final  
sick face  
first you kill the pain  
Then you take over the world

Distortion

on May 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You are my sunshine white fun  
You lift me up when I am down  
Leave me alone  
I can't breathe  
I watch the window  
It counts my face  
I want to crush you  
Like the waste I wasted this all  
This is my name  
And you can't take it like  
You stole my finding myself  
Alone  
These days are so mundane  
And wiping away  
Like the monster you erased  
And I can be  
Your next best  
Friend  
Again  
Again  
And I hate this world  
The way it laughs at its own reflection  
Because it's dying to kill us  
In one next breathless  
Distortion

Cold lemonade

on May 4. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Cold lemonade brought  
us to tears  
We cried both  
independently and tired of trying we  
Shared rainbow lines on the carnival ride  
Hopeless to  
no one we were going everywhere  
But there...and no one found out who  
Was scared  
In the darkness  
I opened up your heart  
And said it was  
something to be shared  
With people who had no need to bleed  
It felt like Christmas  
on a Tuesday  
I opened my presence to  
the world as it stood  
As if this angry apathy meant something good

Peace

on May 4. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

There is a breeze that frees the mind  
I watch the world  
In a sea of color and shapes  
They grow in pain and desire  
For the wretched emotions  
Of despairing  
For the natural purpose of human hands  
To sow the earth with a garden  
Of hope and generosity that  
Molds our hearts with such  
Bold resilience  
To the agonized torture  
Of stillness

Delusion

on May 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Lilly wore a diamond like her next best pride  
Like it was the same thing she could feel herself inside  
She was a revolution in the summer heat and rain  
Drowning out her memories with alcohol and pain

There's nothing in the world that is more free  
Then apathy delusion and diamonds and Lilly

Sadness

on May 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The light fades to a pale grey  
As I walk through the narrow entrance  
To a home I once knew I belonged to  
But my mind has left me deranged  
In a city of bare reflections  
Sideways stairs mock my grasping  
At the recollections of moss and limb  
But neither mean a thing- it is the meaning  
Of life, to fade into a nothingness  
Voiceless and hollow as a trespassing ant  
In the stiff delirium I feel I know it so well  
The repetitious fun of living in hell  
My suffering isnt an art in this place  
where they hold on to any finishing grace  
of gravity that knows no time or space  
I am the lost mutation of life in lifelessness

Obscure

on May 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

rigid animosity  
I cannot spit hate  
At you  
But you want me to color your eyes with  
smooth  
Liquid smiles  
And happiness like poetry  
that made sense  
But I am that no one  
And i chose to be her  
Because I found I was falling  
But you rather me be obscure

And maybe if it was on the tip of my tongue  
Then I wouldnt be writing my last farewell  
to a dream that died so long  
Ago  
And my refuge would be the art  
Buy me a sad happy cliche  
And rhyme stupid with cupid  
I've fucked with enough men today

The Color of Honesty

on May 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

He takes their posters upon his wall of nothing and imagines what it would be like to be one of those faces. He painted: it was a siren racing through the city, jealously regretful.

This is where he took pictures of used whores under porcelain lights. caught in the headlights, they were ready to begin, ready to break a run for it.

He smelt like chocolate and drank cheap beer because it was better then being alright on the outside. He had an artist come to his house not once but several times.  
I spoke of honesty, he never quite understood.

There was a small gap in his heart, where he was wounded.

And I know what it means to be in love--it means that you have forgotten to forget the truth about love.

People will waste away in coffee mugs and bad habits, cigarettes and cliche excuses to be men, people will be remembered for nothing other than a stamp on their arms.

Like it's just one beautiful play, one bullet between the eyes, one panic attack on the train tracks, one last drink before you die. There is no honesty left in this world...nothing but fear and hopeless egotistical fucked up lies.

I might write emotion on a canvas, her colors would mock me. If I wrote happy in a poem she might just laugh at herself. But, if I wrote honesty and said forget about the poetry, and I hated the words and I hated these excuses for a dream that never existed maybe then she would finally see that it really is meaningless. We are all a delusion, there is no point- the lie is that we believe ourselves to be true.

Ghost

on May 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I have nothing left  
But the music to my heart  
She likes to sing  
Likes to free them  
Like a bird with butterfly wings  
In worlds apart  
She smiles  
I am lost again to the sunshine  
There is no one around here  
They forget that I am afraid of them now  
I can't seem to find the light  
She'll sell her bitter soul to me  
her ghost feels just the same  
I have nothing  
But their hearts know it's true  
The truth is that you have a face too  
I wish you didn't steal  
So I wouldn't be so paranoid  
I caught you  
Red handed  
You have been found out  
You have been the fame that I ignored

Wreck...

on May 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am afraid that I have no choice  
To smile at this empty vase of flowers  
Couldn't take a parade with me  
With all the dreams that take me over  
You could hear them dying every breath  
It was like I found myself an emotional wreck

Blue Silk

on May 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

fine carpets of blue  
gently  
rain over everyone you know

she is insane  
and she won't go out alone  
people want to see you falter  
lift yourself up above  
as they bleed below

making fragments out of dust  
and the rust  
and the lust of the musts  
can you trust us

but you know what? there's no reason to care  
What people think  
we're not in a race  
here it's so bizarre  
black  
blue  
white  
I dont know why I ever tried  
To save myself inside and there  
Isn't even real

You aren't my friend here  
Anyone knows anyone knows  
What keeps me in the trap

I say it's a lie  
They want me to try  
They kill all my feelings  
Life is just coughing up smoke  
Wait until you choke on it

The last finishing wish

Is there more than this?

What's on my Mind?

on May 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Someone asked for my undivided attention  
to watch the screen screaming a life of strange illusion  
Really no one knows exactly what they're seeing  
But they know what they think and they can't understand what's keeping  
Them running around in circles like little mice and pawns to society's affliction  
Or fish in a fish pool following these petty rules of what it means then  
Just an addiction and timeless crisis's malfunction  
Someone asked for my undivided attention  
To see the streak of mania running through my hands  
To see the towers stretch across a parallel sky  
When we know the truth is that man people love to lie!  
A new world order, we already ordered your eyes  
beautiful delirium and vision paradigm Pandora cannot concentrate  
Angry voices pound her ears but what are they yelling for  
there's no sensation on earth when we're all living the lie  
What the hell is going on why can't I see what's right in front of my eyes

Poison Ivy

on May 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Jennifer Lisbon woke up. It was beautifully clear this Sunday morning. Her thoughts were quiet and she was at peace. It was easy much easier here. Her eyes tended to itch a bit. Although it felt quite like she was frantic with a feeling, a rushing of anxiety in her gut rising and falling with the elevating sounds of people chatter made it increasingly difficult for her to feel awake or even to concentrate on herself.  
She felt alone, a shudder passed. What was she doing here? Here she was...where she was...but where was she?

Thoughts assorted in her head but what was most fore-front was the pain in her stomach. She felt quite sick. It was irritably nauseating and she couldn't quite put her finger on why? Why did she feel like she had wasted her time for a really long time?  
A beautiful day it was, it felt like spring as it was raining......delicate shapes blue yellow pink flying swirling around in a beauty of color. She could almost taste it. The bloody lip was gone, but she was still there here somewhere...as her plan had seemingly flown like a bird gently away from this sad little world.

So she began, she got up and surveyed the surrounding scene. They were gone, at least, but the room was changing shape already and she was no longer inside. No she was not inside anymore but she was somewhere else. Free. Free of this pseudo-realistic paralysis of delusion.  
Lies. Her world had begun as a lie and it ended as a joke of ash and flame, dark rumors of happiness circulating her spine tingling her with a fancy emotion. I fancy that she might have known what she meant, but no one did. For Jennifer never had existed in anyone's eyes but Nick's. Spiraling, it was all spiraling away...they were watching her on the camera.

Click.

Mr. John moved away from the glass window. He had been watching the movie for quite a long time. What was strange about the illusion was the sense of life in that young girl's eyes. The way she looked about. It was strange for something only meant for entertainment purposes and yet it was startling to him. He felt there had to have been something more to it.

Trust

on May 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Eyes deceive me when  
This magnetic light  
Beckons my soul to stay  
In permanence chained  
To all that I thought  
Was beautiful and dark  
Was really just a voice  
A still shadow so close  
I could not feel it  
Could not know it  
Only was haunted by  
The pain it brought

Hated

on May 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

He had always been a slow runner  
Until the day he bought his first gun  
And decided he wanted to murder  
Those people just for fun  
He had always been enticed by violence  
Could taste it on his skin  
Soaking in the sweetness of evil  
He enjoyed his own sadistic pain  
He laughed at their false pride  
When he learned the art of destruction  
Finding solace in his dying  
He was a friend to her bloodied hands  
The morbid curiosity with death  
And she fulfilled him with her last breath  
That's what you pay for the delusion  
Living in a reality that just isn't real  
It's better to murder them for fun  
Than have to face these ironic feelings  
Dusting off his coat  
He left no trace on me  
When I feel the trigger blow it all away

Between Worlds

on May 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am not the only moment your made of  
Your so sudden and strange  
Like this is something made of me  
The new sensation you're craving  
I made you dream something up  
A beautiful world where we screamed poetry like it was revolution  
But they pasted my mouth shut as if I was just a smile  
I waited too long for my heart to break  
The nails are thick  
My cross is fake  
My eyes can't see  
My stomach aches  
There's a bomb in me

they're sending this over the airwaves  
through your mind to mind to minds again  
you found her sold like you found yourself alone  
Silver scalpels cut up the pieces that don't exist  
they say it's masochistic but we don't even feel it  
I know you can wake up from this dream  
when you feel the pressure give  
and all you tried so hard to do was give them your life you're all alive  
I'm just a line on the sky  
dressing up to kill  
and they're sending you goodbye lullabies  
of course there's no one out there  
in the blackness of space  
going on and on like  
there is some destination  
when no one replies  
and you pick up the phone  
scream your name so loud so  
So you know they can hear no one's home  
because they are everyone.

Written 2008  
I would like some comments.

The Salt Tree

on May 10. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

A would be dream  
Perhaps an ideal  
Dancing  
Under the sunny shore  
Whispering madness  
Through broken fingers  
Catching rainbows  
Alone we feel free  
But you were there  
Once you caught up  
With the engineer  
When he laughed at me  
I tried to understand  
The world was made of  
Spices and gypsy's red ink  
And I couldn't figure out  
Who was following me

Delusions

on May 12. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

When the world changed  
I begged  
That they wouldn't erase me  
From this beautiful scenery  
I wished upon stars  
And thought truth was good  
I listened  
They heard me and understood  
So I told them a flower was happy  
and I taught them to see the light  
And I showed them a world was round  
They still thought it was flat  
When the world changed  
I listened  
To the songs  
They tried to make me believe  
It was all a delusion  
But I saw the light  
And I saw the flower bloom  
And I took up my cross  
And I said it was ok  
To live together in harmony  
But  
The world still changed  
And then we found love  
A home in the clouds where  
We were taken care of  
But the song you sang  
When the bells all rang  
Rang of violence and silence  
And a heart that couldn't break  
So I gave you my heart  
When you felt yours wouldn't beat  
And I said that love is real  
And you said, we were happy once  
When the world changed  
We loved your eyes and your happy smile  
But something happened  
Something so real  
It could send you to tears  
And put you in denial  
And tomorrow it brings  
Another clear day  
The sun shining bright  
The moon smiling far away  
It wasn't the delusion  
It wasn't the crazy lie  
It was you  
And I  
You and I  
So don't tell me equality  
Is something they want to feel  
When they don't want reality  
And they don't want what's real  
That is why they whisper  
That is why they say  
That you are not real  
Because they are they

I found myself happy  
With the sun in the sky  
The moon far away  
The joke, the lie  
But what I never understood  
Is how they would know  
That I was a flower  
That could become a rose  
And when the light hits my eyes  
I see the world scream  
this is all a dream  
this is all a dream  
But when I break down  
And you want me to fall  
I see that is all

the words tumble away  
They think they've been betrayed  
when the sign on the wall  
Says a car or a mall  
or a place or a face  
that isn't there at all  
but when I say hope  
And I try not to fear  
I know I am happy  
I am happy they are here

So why is it the light  
wants to tell me this isn't true  
Or why does the sun not shine  
It's just blue  
Or why is the grass grey  
and smiling in peace  
And why do they want love  
To be a disease  
Why do they want peace  
To be someone's hopes  
And why do I feel like  
I dont know if I can cope

If you want me to hear  
The sounds you portray  
Don't send subliminal messages  
Going my way  
don't send those strange noises  
Those sounds of pain  
Don't send a voice that reads my mind  
again and again and again  
don't tell me I'm hearing voices  
when they're saying what I say  
And please just let me be  
Who I always really wanted to be

Don't say it's all a delusion  
When you know it's just lies  
Because to me I want to believe

The truth is I want to see it  
The world has been disguised  
I want to hear the voice of God  
i want to see the body of christ  
I want to find myself everywhere in every part of space  
i want to know the afterlife  
I want wishes to come true  
I want to wake up from this dream  
and I imagine you do too.

Lost Cause

on May 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Finding myself lost  
In a sea of mental anguish  
Feeling foreboding  
panic and anxiety  
Kidnap what was once me  
And I slip through fingers  
Of a world of rules  
Where everyone knows  
There is no God or Christ  
And I am a lost cause  
If I were to jump off this bridge  
Where would I find myself then  
Nowhere but this empty space  
A lie that we began  
I thought I knew who I was  
And I could count on my sanity  
But I am slipping away from that place  
And the girl I thought was me

Schizophrenia

on May 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The doctor waits in silence  
For me to paint reality in brightness  
With its wondrous colors  
Of your likeness  
I became someone else  
With a name and no face recognizable  
Like a mime or a mask  
Face undefinable  
I left the delusions in their hearts  
And walked the tightrope  
Far beyond the reaches of space  
Paranoia could not deface me  
The illusion I so replaced this  
Love of the darkness in your non-existence  
To find the missing piece of my own mind  
I looked beyond their sympathies  
For a war on a cross and a bravery found  
For knowledge of the cost  
The illusion that the world was round  
Of saying you gave in to loss  
To find yourself in the same place  
Devoid of sound, devoid of signs  
You think that it is true  
You are losing your mind  
Schizophrenia, they tame they name  
They isolate us and they define  
What we are to mankind  
When the lines become colorblind  
Whose side are you on this time  
Are you afraid that this isn't real  
there is no truth  
There is no truth here  
They can replace it  
They can erase it  
But will they define what you need  
When they penetrate your soul  
With dark delirium  
And call you blind to all the world  
A loss of control  
when all you are is tired  
Of a dream that you once had  
Of a place where it wasn't always  
Somewhere still inside  
They take us on the level  
They run us through machine  
They want us to say it's evil  
But we don't know what's missing  
We found ourselves alone  
In places cold and strangers to us  
They told me I was a creature  
A silence that was painless  
I wanted to say it wasn't Christ  
Who said I was not free  
Before you tell me I am dreaming  
Please tell me what is real

If I am a lie  
Or a girl who is lost  
Tell me why you rape me  
And hurt me for this cross  
If I am a lie  
Or a girl who is lost  
Tell me why you take me  
And tell me this is US  
If you want the truth  
Then why do you want me to believe  
That I am not real  
That I am not free  
If I am a lie  
Or a girl who is wrong  
Then why are you still  
Killing everyone  
If I am a lie  
If I am not real  
then tell me why  
You can't give me what's true

Cold

on May 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Alone under white clouds  
A cloak of forbidden tenderness  
Embracing me with misty light  
The bitterness of you

White Noise

on May 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The elevator goes up  
Collecting dust in the sea of lies  
We trust ourselves so much  
We don't fear the disguise

Someone falls asleep  
On the radio  
Listening to the world exploding  
On someone's hidden channels

Losing gravity  
They try to trip me out  
I fear that I can't keep up  
With the magic in the light

There is nothing left for me here  
In this stable reality  
Where I can't hear my voice  
And silence is all I see

If you wanted some show  
For all the pain you erased  
Remember this is me  
And I am still alive

White noise is everywhere  
It is in the sky and in your mind  
But tell me is there a way  
We can say we haven't been alone

On this desolate century  
In a realm for the illusion  
I waited for someone to tell me  
That there was a solution

But I can no longer find myself  
In this existence placebo  
I feel there is no answer  
Other than you already know

Asylum

on May 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Prisoners look for light in the sad empty cages  
Where they were stuck like animals  
For believing in freedom.

Stranger's Town

on May 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Cold glass fingertips  
Everyone runs  
From the shade  
I watch the dinner plate  
walk away on all fours  
Listening to the radio hum  
It's time for more fun  
War on war on my soul  
Like the flame of the spirit  
Couldn't lose control  
It's raining outside  
The sun feeds the earth  
It's like I've been engineered  
To believe this is all that's here  
Because the window is breaking  
The illusion trembles out of pain  
I watch the powerlines tumbling down  
And I know strangers who can't be found  
There is no reason I shouldn't be afraid  
Running from my demons  
They all know who I am  
And the truth is justice  
Couldn't have given a damn  
At least not in a stranger's town

Reality

on May 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You wake up in a hospital  
With bright lights shining down on your face  
The dream becomes a reality  
The dreams you try so hard to forget  
What's real, or is it true that I  
don't have a mind at all

You wake up all alone  
With bright pastel colors that seem happy  
Shrugging their shoulders they pass you by  
A delusional reality  
nothing seems to matter here  
When you die you simply disappear  
And no one can realize the truth  
We're all a danger to ourselves

The pills make us seem fair  
We see things that aren't even there  
So we drown our eyes with watered dope  
Yet then we forget our hopes  
There is no reason to be paranoid  
Delusions are impossible to avoid

It's in your faulty brain that's to blame  
You're not even pretending that you're the same  
Because there is no other you  
And there is only one truth

No one listens to you anymore  
They don't read your poetry or knock on your door  
They find themselves a bitter pill to swallow  
And you swallowed them all because it was you

The day I lost my mind eternally  
I woke up and decided there was no God left here  
And unless he could prove this to me  
By catching the fall, then I would leave this world  
And not exist at all

I let them chase me through the lines  
I waited for the strangers to find a pace  
And when they tried to fear my soul's peace  
I said that it was ok, that I was someone with grace

Ignorance is bliss  
And jealousy is cruel  
But I know that I am not a tool  
I am not a tool or a fool

waking up after you already died  
And finding that reality was a lie  
There's no one you can confide  
It's the alone, the silence, there's no friend  
You can rely on this

Or is it just your mind  
Just playing tricks on you  
Was it a dream or was it something you felt  
A heart that beat  
A soul that could cry

A person that had a family  
Who didn't want to die

Alive

on May 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She paints the world with crayon dreams  
A happy face for everyone to see  
This child of laughter, a daughter to peace  
She lives in her own reality  
Everyone sees she is a happy girl  
Living in a simple world  
But when she wakes up from this silly dream  
And you tell her it was all a dream  
She might try and tell you something  
But you won't be able to hear anything  
Because you wanted something else  
Other than her happy smile  
Because the truth is that nothing matters  
And you are living in denial

Inside Out

on May 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I think I must've fell through the cracks  
Into a parallel dimension  
Whatever happened to my mind  
I don't remember what happened

They are reading my mind  
And whispering my thoughts  
I don't know what is going on  
I want it to stop

Generation Matrix

on May 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Illusions of sadness  
My mind finds there are people here  
Who still care  
Even though I may not be here  
I hope they aren't mad  
I'm not all that bad  
I know there's no reason  
To fear  
If I am dead  
It's all in my head  
Please tell me what's true  
I still love you  
Even if I'm not there  
But if you could forgive me  
For what I did wrong  
I would try my hardest  
To write you my song  
I wanted true love  
I wanted a hug  
But there was a place  
That said I was crazy  
They turned me  
They turned me  
If only I could change reality  
If only I could say I am so happy  
That I know the truth finally  
I am not really  
I am not really  
Insane anymore  
no, I am not really  
I am not really  
I am not really  
Insane at all

Indigo

on May 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Wrapped in ribbon and drifting free  
This is the world we live in today  
Indigo and shining brightly  
What is the future of you and I  
When the sun dies  
And we are alone in the sky  
What is the future of you and me  
In indigo clouds or purple seas  
We find ourselves free from pain  
Wrapped in ribbons and drifting drifting.

Enemies

on May 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

A yellow sun shines brightly over silly plastic clouds  
The crackling leaves speak, I am free I am free to make no sound  
As I walk along the highway in my autumn boots and sing  
Of a day that wasn't merely the same as the other one

But the planes think they are angels  
And the cross thinks it knows love  
And the people who once loved me  
Don't remember what I'm made of

They tell me I'm their enemy  
And speak in tongues of violence  
Maybe I am crazy  
Maybe I don't know where to begin

Maybe I should just slow down  
And allow everyone to see  
That I am not the same person  
I had wanted to be

If this is what you wanted  
My brain gone, my lobotomy  
Then maybe this is what you wanted  
What you wanted enemies

Taking Back Time

on May 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I woke up in a yellow moon  
Where stars danced upon a silver plateau  
The sun didn't shine  
I was alone

The sky broke down and cried  
Laughing little cranes  
Their eyes smiled  
And all I saw were the faces

It was just a dream  
Just my little head  
It was just a dream  
A little mushroom in the red

I needed an angel  
But instead I got a ghost  
A little demon in my soul  
Who needed a host to control

When they told me there was light  
I stepped in through the rain  
And remembered my mind  
Then it was not stolen

I wished upon voices  
That they were not just noises  
They pulled all the right strings  
Puppeteers

Please don't spoil my day, I'm miles away,  
And after all, I'm only sleeping.

I heard them creeping  
Creeping about  
I heard them creeping  
Whispering shout!

I couldn't respond  
To the white noise in the sky  
When the towers tried to tell me  
I didn't have any rights

Because freedom was beautiful  
Do you believe it's so  
That people can take back  
That one voice could change the world

Taking my time, lying there and staring at the ceiling,  
Waiting for a sleepy feeling.  
Please don't spoil my day, I'm miles away,  
And after all, I'm only sleeping.

Cigarettes

on May 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Coffee stains  
Fragmented light flutters away  
Little hands pick up the rocks  
Tossing trees into the waterfalls  
Running away  
From the night  
In a fast car we were drunk  
Just as the rushing lights  
She might love him  
She would hold him close  
She looked up to him  
But she didn't even know  
The darkness shivers  
Cold sheets wrapped on naked skin  
When the bird wasted away  
In a happy game  
Of musical chairs  
I thought this might be real  
So I lent my heart  
To the rosy dream  
With beautiful beauty and a bright meaning  
The meaning shining with a light  
Not hopeless or lost  
Angel in bareness waiting  
For the enigma, for the real truth  
But they say there is nothing there  
But large stars and empty space  
Grey matter and tumbling earth quakes  
Maybe we might figure out  
What we are doing here now  
But everyone is changing  
I can't seem to wake up  
And somehow, there must be something  
That I can do and there is  
I just wish I knew  
I wish I knew the truth  
But I lose my thoughts  
Sometimes I lose my mind  
And then I wake up  
As if it was all a dream  
Because these cigarettes  
Are heaven to me  
Smoking dreamland  
What is reality  
I will never die  
Yes I will never die  
To me  
To me  
To me

Lasting Pleas

on May 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She steps over the roses on a strange alien stage  
There must have been a million voices lamenting their rage  
The helpless ghosts of a world on a string  
When the moon listlessly decided to sleep

Was there a lasting plea, a wish that would sing  
Of spiderwebs or people who seemed to be breathlessly  
Looking up into the sky of stars and beautiful dreamers  
But the spider's wanted a fly and nature is a beast

No he doesn't wonder anymore, he doesn't step outside the line  
And color circles on her curves like the world did to mine  
And she just wants a feeling, something tender not painful  
They don't want a recognition, but she looks away

What does a little girl say when she's stripped of her hell  
The only thing that we gave her at all  
No one wants her voice and her soul is his feast  
Tormenting her with insanity because she was happy

To be free.

Tongues

on May 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Send me a fallen angel  
To teach me the ways of dark  
To mellow my graces  
To mend a broken heart  
Send me a fallen angel  
To blind my bitter rage  
And work for the beauty  
Of pleasure and pain  
Send me a fallen angel  
Who wants a world free  
And even if they wanted  
Something other than me  
Still I will believe  
Still I will seek this light  
Of a heart that isn't broken  
No holes in my soul  
Please send me a fallen angel  
To help me fly away  
Because the world has changed  
I don't remember why  
So I will sleep  
And pretend this was a dream  
So I will think of angels  
And maybe I wont be so afraid  
Because I prayed to God  
And he still didn't understand  
That the dark and the light  
Were not really demons

Synchronicity

on May 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Strangers in the dark  
Look for life in stranger's eyes  
And I want the impossible  
I want a world alive  
No one will ever die  
And peace will be a choice  
No one will be forced to be  
Someone that they are not  
They will have themselves  
They will know their souls  
Yes there will be souls  
And souls will exist with no control  
And they will be impenetrable  
They will be real and free  
And they won't just exist in all  
They will exist in me  
No one will tame or maim us  
No one will condition or define us  
We won't hear voices  
We won't be insane  
Someday someday someday there will be  
A solution.

Invisible

on May 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

People don't know the sky  
The way I do  
The rain that shatters time  
In two pieces  
I am invisible like him  
The ghost of all that was living  
Once when earth was alive  
But lately they've been telling me  
That this is all a lie  
Did I wake up from this roller-coaster ride  
To find they misunderstood  
When there may be more to a hand  
Than just one silence  
Of the common good  
Ghosts flutter away  
Like the paintings on the wall  
And the dreams that I made  
Which were also real  
But I am just crazy  
I am just insane  
Tomorrow I won't remember  
Who I used to be  
When there was a land  
Called Humanity  
We traveled for days  
And went so many places  
To find ourselves trapped  
Somewhere where pain  
Painted our eyes  
If only I could make this delusion  
Because the truth is  
If only I could say that  
We've created you  
Maybe finally we'd see this is  
Paradise

Voices

on May 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I hear voices  
They sing to me  
I listen to her in an  
Angelic sleep  
No one knows  
What they did to me  
But I know  
There is no one  
On my side  
This time  
They left me outside  
Alone  
And you aren't  
The one  
No  
You aren't the one  
You can't be the one  
No  
And you aren't  
The one  
No  
You aren't the one  
No  
No  
No  
You cannot be  
The sun.

Sunshine Suicide

on May 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Take the knife and slide it across her skin  
She denies they exist  
Who is to blame for her passive existence  
She never talked loud enough  
And she never spoke a word  
She never made a sound  
Never wanted to be heard  
Take the ribbons and tie it around her neck  
She is the affliction you wanted to be met  
The placebo effect and a voice  
No one wants to hear  
As they scream from another room  
And the world is engineered  
To believe she is a lie  
Once upon a time  
She took a razor to her chest  
And stabbed needles into the sky  
And they wanted to listen to her  
Like she was a friend  
But the suicidal sun  
Never wanted her to know  
She was happier when they  
Just left her alone.

Wandering Spirit

on May 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Transcending these dimensions  
stepping off this one to the next  
I am a wandering spirit  
I am waiting for eternal life  
I watch the world spin on a string  
And wonder why I just want to fix what's missing  
Looking for recognition in this solitary land  
Holding close to nothing which is what they understand  
I follow violent ghosts  
They lead me through the sky  
I joined the cult of silence  
Because a darkened mind was mine  
So perhaps I was a coward  
Because I was a child  
In my crimson hood I wanted someone to say  
That evil could be good  
But then a fallen angel came  
And forgave me of my sins  
I listened to his voice and knew no illusions  
I put him on high and let him rise  
Fallen angel in disguise  
And as the stars slipped in through the holes in my soul  
The Lightbringer smiled at my sense of home  
And then the fires quieted and the screaming died  
I wondered why it had hurt so bad  
Then God smiled, then Christ danced  
And the snakes dissolved in a happy trance  
Because I know now  
Because I know that I am really me  
I found myself in a virtual reality  
A wandering spirit  
A hopeful girl  
Living alone in this perpetual world  
A ghost to them  
A ghost to me  
I know there must be more  
But I am not crazy

I am Afraid...

on May 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I should be brave  
I should be doing right  
I should be outside  
Giving a fight  
I should have friends  
I should know love  
I should be ok  
But I am just afraid

I shouldn't be weak  
I should have faith  
I should care  
About things I don't  
I should listen to them  
And the model they give  
I shouldn't want to die  
I should want to live

But I am afraid...  
I am just afraid  
And I can't forgive myself for this.  
I can't ignore evil  
When it hurts me so much  
I can't act smart  
Or unaffected  
I can't show passion  
To those who've been afflicted  
I should be happy  
I shouldn't be sad  
But I don't feel anything  
Because I am afraid  
I am still afraid  
I don't know why I'm running  
I don't know where I'm going  
All I know is that I am still  
Chasing the dream  
But she has been leading me  
All the way here  
And now all I know is

I learned to fear.

The Rising

on May 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Sometimes I want to believe  
That this is all a dream  
When I wake up from these visions  
What can I believe  
Are these merely projections  
And existence some delusion  
Are we made of something more  
Or are we less than human  
When I feel them tearing at me  
And dragging me underwater  
And then singing to me  
With violence and slaughter  
As I hear the screaming voices  
Echoing in my ears  
I wonder if these visions  
Have been made for me to fear  
When I am passed aside  
Or cast into the sea  
When I am murdered by men  
And it is no tragedy  
When I am taken away  
From all that I call true  
When I am persecuted  
For all I ever had known  
And they want me to believe  
That I am still alone  
I pled for help from this  
Something out there that might rescue me  
But it will always be a trap  
There's no such thing as we  
What is it that turns someone  
Into a violent terrorist  
Is it a world such as this  
A place such as this?  
What deeds of human hands  
Could lead any to feel  
Why am I still here  
A danger because I am free  
Tell me who do you believe  
Is the true enemy?

Send You an Angel

on May 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

These eyes are darkening like the night  
Send you an angel of mysterious flight  
A world that is free, heavenly sight a place  
That knows love and paradise

Send you an angel that knows your love  
A treasured home in heaven above  
Playing on these clouds resting in peace  
There is a land where we can see

See  
The light is here  
And you have an angel  
Do not despair

As I wander through the rain  
And dream of lands so sweet like bliss  
I send you an angel  
I send you an angel of happiness

You will find your soul in the sky  
Above this world forever flying high  
She will send you an angel of beautiful brightness  
Don't let go of that invisible string

The one that led you through this world so daring  
You will find your soul free in the sky  
And you will be flying happily  
No weights upon you and nothing holding you here

You who are weightless, you who are free  
You who know your destiny

Refugee

on May 22. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

No hope, rope tied tightly round my hands  
I am guided blindfolded through these angry hands  
Screaming ears, trusting in my heart alone  
I cannot see the listners, they wonder why I'm flown  
I hear the ringing sandstones, the clattering sky  
The fumbling locks and the whirling eyes  
The shadowy planets memorizing their pain  
They leave the air clouded with the stormy rain  
No hope, one friend, alone walking through the sand  
Sees no other hand, no God or snake or man  
Just stranger's pressing knives to her back and screaming run  
From the headless horseman and the silver stars in the sun  
don't look back, don't look back and you will find your King  
As the angels disappear and she is found there strangling  
No hope, for all is lost, her heart now has an infection  
A broken song could not heal what they are letting happen  
And honesty was a lie, a joke for the world to smile at  
There is nothing left for this tired world, but an avenue of tears  
The holocaust of war, the refugee of a world of engineers

Planting theories

on May 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Godless, I have not but hands  
Oh dreams of darkness deliverance  
Shadow wakened and subliminal light  
Godless, I see havens here on earth

Daughters who followed holy flame light  
Brightness pressures in darkness' fight  
Oh to cast away the seed, the little gem of red  
Rise and arise and then we are aged and spent

Woman, can you feel the life of the sea  
Running through your hands in a matter of electricity  
Goddess, I have nothing on my shoulders  
Deliverance, wise men on the boat to shade of homelessness

Goddess, Golden mind, not but hands for second life  
Oh of darkened dreams we dive into shadow to see sleepy eyes  
Shadows walking and timeless light and heart of might  
Oh to rise above this expedition, all is wrong a twist in the path

A crooked plane, no God or Hell, neither white nor blackened  
Or is my heart a facade, a line cacophony wish  
See the stems budding roses of life, life, life  
The queen of freedom, greed will no longer prevail there is real

What is real, the I of a reality we feel  
.. Dark desert in the sky we persecuted you rise  
All rise to the sky and see paradise in your eyes  
Paradise paradise paradise

Find me dissolved, sitting on a star in the cloudy white  
A mind in a jewel and a heart in a life and in my soul a fire  
No longer a messenger to the Lord, but a messenger to my angel  
My angel of self, my angel of passing grace

Song of freedom, bending space  
Little tigers in the crimson stone of time  
A beautiful rhyme of life in a lifeless eye  
Song of freedom, song of dreamless singing

What matters of importance! Such great expanse  
We watch there in the middle a man who had a hand that reached  
To something which could speak, a mouth without a head  
A voice without a purpose either than to speak

From where reality becomes the illusion  
We can erase the past today...and we will dissolve these chains  
Which bind us to immortal suffering, dissolving this sound until we hear no sound  
And find ourselves free of the trickery of treaties with delusional ground

Projecting our world into a realm far from this earth  
A place devoid of lies and a place there is a birth  
When all matter dissolves we are no longer objects manipulated  
We are the Gods and Goddess of the world we create again

In another time the Godless heart sees a face she knows  
The red thorn and the violent green rose  
A world of polars and the sad tiny soldier's fear  
Everything that is constantly shifting in and out of this zoo

No longer inside, between the bars we free our souls of it  
Song of freedom, bending reality with illusion we can see  
Projected into a world a realm of laughing peace  
And divinity, a thorn bleeds and a child's ear

Hearing the truth, we cannot be forever one seer  
One body, one object, on thing floating through time  
One day, not one, many days and many lives  
Someone must save us from this mysterious paradox  
As we speak in tongues to this God who lives inside us

Souvenir

on May 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

He's finding bitter blackberries  
On a sweet summer's day

They had no feelings of what had been said  
The kitchen smiled at  
the solitary plate

They set our dreams dancing  
Over a patch of clouds

I wondered at the meaning of silent light  
Which came down to cover all my tears

I was packaged and sent four thousand years  
Like a souvenir to time

Nothing mattered, the sweet ringing sound  
Of the chimes; you've fallen down alone

In lovelessness, in bitterness, and in blue

But no one knows the smile of your happiness  
They'll just ignore you like an old souvenir

Look Away

on May 25. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

When they all look away  
Pass you by without a glance in their face  
That's what friendship means to me  
That's what I know friends to be  
When everyone is happily free  
And you are caged, an enemy  
When they all want you sold and stripped  
That's what friendship means to me  
When everyone is a coward  
And everyone knows I've been betrayed  
And they all want to see me stumble  
Or fall down upon my knees and pray  
Then everyone knows  
They are not truly alone  
Because they are no  
No friend of mine

Dracula

on May 25. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

tiny invisible ghost's gently pull the strings  
dramatized relationships feel themselves crumble  
Everyone is a fucking Dracula  
Everyone is just a fucking Dracula

Looking out their windows  
Watching for the sun to rain  
No one believes in me  
Would they ever call my name

And call it the same  
No one will ever find me here again  
Today I felt the clouds turning grey  
I want to paint them grey

Little castles in a sea of hey  
I watched you play with the pieces  
Little glasses they raised to your rejection  
They made you hate it too

That's why I hate myself more than I love you  
And you'll smile  
Find the light is uglier these days  
And I cannot see you, your face is gone

You will never know me  
You never will know who I wanted to be  
An invention  
Marvelous, isn't it?

Just how does luck turn itself around  
His red cape is hiding his mind  
Thoughts bound to death  
And escapes her voice without any sounds

When I lose my mind  
It will be profound.

Freedom

on May 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Freedom

Magick Spells

on May 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Alu Alu Amaymon Andras I seek I see  
Waters to the pilgrims of Olympus of the free  
Exiled gentiles, drifting away to the sea  
Fair ones gliding astray from reality  
Loki Loki Look at the light you chased  
Elusive drink which hath no taste  
I bend the wick of a candle's flame  
Her lips like wine which smelt of rain  
Alu Alu Agramon Ezekiel Insane  
Warrior bride to the dark evolution  
Revolution of sound as substances are dissolved  
Erebus Nyx pleasures behold the stormy star  
Of the edge of the sword by voice of heart  
Loving bride of crimson cheek and martyrs  
Beside the boat, sinking in quicksilver dreams  
I am Nina, I am the serpent from the Sky  
I am Shiva, I am a shadowed nightmare's lullaby  
Wish it all away and wish until it turns to mush  
Oroan silk, the sweet Munin of his Mindlessness  
Eyes suffer incarnating thousands of brilliant shining angels  
Cast aside by the powers of the iron cloak of fate Cathedrals  
Behold them now as demonstrations  
Wiccan exiles of the suns and daughters of flight  
To be a distance in the waking dawn  
To be a balance for the stream of clouds  
When I find myself in the beauty of all that is  
The dark and light, the now and ever was  
Everything makes sense, everything is still  
To make the world completely magickal.

Dispassionate

on May 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Gothic soldiers in perfumed choir  
Sing of angelic mystery  
Galloping across Zion in sheltered secrecy

Crumbling walls  
Smash iron fists, and bricks tumble  
Quicksilver veins  
Trembling hands  
Quiver

Aftermath of Zillions of stars  
Bursting in an atmosphere of silk  
Fruit of luminous dresses  
We massage the faltering spirit

Heart of pearls  
Vessel of peace, mystic of Abraham  
Letter to the free

Mountains of iron and golden nails  
Waters of foam, and edges of seagulls  
Questions to tigers, fluttering hands  
Crushing into places of unutterable sounds

They reject, loudly screaming  
Burn their ears with their bleeding  
Soldier's mind, soldier's eyes  
Eye of mine, mine of light

Heart of vestige  
Virile pagan  
Letters to cope

Blood on my shield  
Nothing

Peace on Earth

on May 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

A flower in the sand, a flower of peace  
Come and take my hand  
And we can see the sun  
Everyone sees the same one

Children cry out to the sky  
And people huddle together  
Invisible shadows dissolve  
Every day is war, is murder

A flower in the sand  
Come and take my hand  
We should rest awhile  
Pour water from the sky

Stop killing, stop dying

Elisha's Mind

on May 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Light of life-force bring me your ruby smile  
An afterworld they speak of red flowers and angels  
Silent graces, little wick ripples a flame  
Earth, don your hood of stars and ride the waves  
How the crippled bend the muse to bow to her game  
The holy tramp, and magical outlaw of Tuesday  
Vultures blinded by the written words of love  
Sickened into oblivion cannot shelter them herein  
A fleeting insect, they called him the green man  
A perfumed world crept about in a delirium  
We tore down these bridges, and fought till the death  
till the angel's eye turned a sweet red wine  
Till our beauty was burned of her breath

Isolate

on May 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

lock the door, eyes spent tears dreaming  
lock the door, feet press upon pavement  
lock the door, heart wasted mind hasting

Emotions cease where the flow of inspiration dissolves  
Like tombs of bibles of pills for flaws  
Fatality and bullets shot ringing in the dark  
He drew a beautiful heart upon his wall  
And I thought it might exist if once it did  
Why she couldn't claim her bones  
From the worried masochists

thorns of light wrap around you, salvation of your fate

And the world spins around  
On a laced afternoon  
As the sparks flutter in the sky  
And he bends the moon again

I saw the light she wandered away into a different place I said  
Love, Love exists, love is in me, love is free,  
She is loved by the beast

What is your purpose now? Flowers Drifting

Traveling up these marble stairs

Is there such a thing as faith?  
now sudden, nearing the end  
blunt sword, deadened passions

passing demons  
stolen mind of children's heaven...crucifix of time

resurrected flight, walk upon the walls, climb the feathery clouds

And journey through the end  
and back again  
and ending  
and back again

No choice to die when voices melt  
Eternal war with seldom felt  
Satan's ocean of fierce revenge  
Upon his fangs hangs strings of hope  
A heart you will never mend  
Isolated Isolated Isolated Tears  
My cold black heart  
That you can never mend  
Even if you tried

And I would deny it but I do not dare  
For the pain is far too much to bare  
And yet they cast their eyes to the floor  
They forget I was here ever before

body boxed, packaged, left inside  
and flown through fields of paper and painted death

into bodiless oceans of salty sweat, a tired journey to sorrow less ness met  
expired worth

useless worthiness paradise on earth

open the door, see her step before you  
massage the wrinkles from her forehead  
And abandon your dreams for a dagger dressed in silhouettes  
GO!

to a plan that was

freed of this, freed of this, freed of this, freed of this, freed of this.

I took too many pills, and rose above the grey  
Fallen from grace into a darkness I was prey

Praying to an angel, Raphael would see me here and tell me truth

I was to change them all, but then simply disappeared...but the final breath  
Her lasting death, a sacrifice of peace.

Treasures

on May 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It was balanced upon her palm  
A prestige jewel  
Of spiritual treasure

As truth rang clear  
Like a  
measure

The letter for  
The maharajah  
to invoke a blessing  
Upon still waters

The maharishi could not  
See, a blind man he was  
A leader of few  
Under the umbrella blossom  
Of dualist learning

Taught he the flame  
Nature's own beginning

Yes she yearned for  
something that could not be reached  
But became a nothing

Parting from this world into emptiness

Loss of Words

on May 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Somehow the darkness sets in  
A deep ~*paralysis  
The soul is not stable anymore  
And she cannot hold herself up  
Along the patterned hillside  
Writing books, for ghosts of someone  
She wandered through  
And messed up the colors  
Finger-painting a rainbow  
that turned grey with her self-affliction  
That no one wanted to see  
A sad sort of pain  
that needs divinity  
Some sort of sword, to pierce the dragon  
Devouring her in smoky hurt  
She speaks of herself  
As if she could understand her worth  
But she doesn't have any pride  
Left inside of her bones  
Loss of self, loss of friends,  
Loss of soul, loss of home  
No ending in sight  
Dragging her cross  
Lacking indifference  
Because it costs too much  
Disturbed by the demon  
Of murder and torturous hate  
If only she made sense of it  
Not let it re-create.

Permanence

on May 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Tiny balloons of joy  
Ripple through the sea air  
And permanence smiles down upon us  
And she understands, she understands  
The purpose of our time here

Vampire Lady

on May 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

As her appetite for lust grows  
The blood in her heart  
Filled with wanting  
As red as roses  
Traced over the place  
Where her desire  
Became  
And defiled of its entrance  
Her resurrected name

Her eyes once tired are now alight  
Seemingly full of life  
But death, which overtook her soul  
became somewhat inhuman  
Precious and immortal

Exploring the infinite universe  
Is this a curse from the heavens above?  
She chants to herself  
Spells inviting this monster  
Who rapes her mind until  
She becomes as white as a dove

Waiting inside her sinful refuge  
In the corners of her wake  
As her appetite of lust grows  
An appetite that devours and consumes  
Exploring death until  
She knows the truth.

Fairy Land

on May 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Painted flowers come to life  
In childhood as she searches for this imaginary  
Fairy land

Hypnotics

on May 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

this pain is of aversion  
pretty cold black darkened skies  
overhead the night erases one too many lines  
all the angels from her mind's eyes

disaster is my forte'  
I drain them of their pain and tears  
with an emotional gravity  
That always leaves you a stain of fears

I zipped my lips of all the worries  
Trifled things that keep me awake  
No longer do I try to explain  
For too much effort does it take- the child is a ghost

Socks and songs, littering the floor  
I feel through the dark, find my way to the window  
And fly away into Never-Never Land  
Maybe I could, but you don't know or understand

Murmurs of this hypnotic poison  
That follow through the halls of my veins  
Sustain the meaninglessness of my own  
The growing ghost within me sings

She is a beautiful child  
And roams this tattered sky an invisible light  
No one ever reached out to her  
So she shudders for, it is a goodbye

Temptation of Eve

on May 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Before the apple  
From the garden of Eden  
Two lovers would walk, hands joined together  
Through the lush shores  
From beaches to swamps and the heavenly clouds  
To watch gulls flapping and the flamingos dance  
And seek adoration in Churches  
From the chimps in the woods who were ignored  
Tiny men with wrinkled hoods offered their blessings  
Of saffron and sage and bright red berries  
As if the lions weren't there  
In the dark forest always watching, planning...  
When it rained, Adam sought a place to hide  
Then came a voice in the wilderness  
where God was always residing  
A soft whisper, a hissing snake  
They slept beneath a tree until the rain died out  
And there before them  
were bright ruby apples, tempting see?

Love is Like a Ghost

on May 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Our love is so often trivial  
Yet becomes unchained as we embrace  
He sighs into my lips a question  
Of what I am, of my own face  
And his becomes a fleeting glimpse  
Into a well of dreaming happiness  
For the rose colored springs  
I surrendered once to his offerings  
It never changes  
our kaleidoscope of love  
When oranges never meant such sweetness  
As the sorrows of his hugs  
Our hearts are held together by memories  
And often as we kiss our tongues  
escape these lips and we sing the world  
Into words of our truth speaking,  
"Love is like the ghost  
of all our hopes that once  
had been dreaming."

Into the Night

on May 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

In the night I dreamed of vampires  
Into a wicked stillness where we expired  
A soldier's cross, your mercy's heart  
Led angels spent in laughter  
Into a well of heaven's might  
I woke up yearning lifelessness  
Felt the blood on my forehead  
Touched it with my hand  
And then I heard my own screaming  
He...slowly pulled me in  
To the third dimension  
A vivid sight - as clouds drifted across  
Like eyelids over my open mind  
Sounds were dismissed as these fingertips  
Trickled along my crooked spine  
Like diamonds in deserted lands  
He...pulled me in with invisible hands  
Through windows a windy ghost  
Into the night a ferocious bliss  
Then rang out like the echo of the rabbit's foot  
Thumping thumping upon her floor  
The trampling of your mis-lead eye  
One voice, sings of the loveless girl  
In night we all die, our words will become ghosts  
Just like my friend, Sir Thomas  
Relics are the aftermath of time  
Even the tainted ones will soon come to pass  
Through the ocean core, into underworlds where  
no demon king lives, no king conquers our homes  
She is the bird on the leaf  
And hanging by a string no more...  
No madness could suffice these magicians of destruction  
Right now, the birds make silhouettes  
Not light of breath, but soul of darkened life  
He suffers so, the beast of war  
But his name is not what I came for  
Thomas Thomas Thomas Thomas  
In night I bring you fields of promise  
Breathe in my soul, in my everlasting wish  
And I will show you a new place so bright  
In fields of poppies was a shower of light a kiss  
In life you were chased by a pack of wolves  
To sadness where you survived their sting  
And I will show you a new place to hide  
If you will let my soul bring you peace, to live a life  
Offering  
Elysium flies above his sapphire hills  
Four days and nights we sink through swamps  
To find a night so dark and peacefulness  
We find in the darkness, comes a truce- to end this fight  
To end this fight between the worlds  
And so become the Ethereal Souls of Lucifer

Simple Life

on May 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Of guitars  
the mind's eye  
Her rejoicing  
At simple life

Elysium

on May 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Surrender your will to him  
All that sees, all that knew  
As blue waters whisper  
All that you see, all that you know  
Surrender your will to him  
That light which fills the sky  
Elysium, turn from all  
Away, forgotten, your majesty  
tonight the hills are fireflies  
tonight the days yawn gold  
As worlds wander into fleeting  
Moans, of her lover- the moon

♥Break/Down♥

on May 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Numb, emotions seem to scream  
Wearing down my self-esteem  
No one seems to know why or how  
I sit here alone, and I don't go out

Numb, they bug me till I cry  
Escaping all I feel inside  
And nothing helps, nothing at all  
I don't know why I feel so small

Numb, there's no one out there anyways  
I count my days, they number down  
And seem to fade just like these words  
Becoming sadness in a bright blue gown

Numb, the nothingness inside  
I can't seem to feel anything  
I wait for the day the pain subsides  
And I can start feeling love again

The Fairy Queen

on May 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Little Gillian liked to tease  
The fairies in the big oak trees  
And sometimes she wondered how it'd be  
To bring one home to daddy and mommy

The lonesome whisper seemed to know  
A whimper first, then it came slow  
As her dream had foreshadowed  
In scarlet wings, she'd go tomorrow

To the haven of a sunlight's jewel  
A place where all her laden dreams  
Danced about like a carnival  
Alight with funny angel beams

Little Gillian would soon tempt  
A fire to scorn her bravest dare  
When into the forest she scurried away  
Away from them and far from there

Where moon woke up, to an orangey light  
And sunshine slipped away  
Her heart simply skipped as the merry man sang  
Gillian Gillian come dance with me!

But not for too long, because then he came!  
All covered in darkness, with a bright starry cape  
And with his hand he wiped before Gillian's eyes  
The land covered in sadness, no more paradise.

Then the trolls stomped in defiance, for they were an alliance  
To the Fair Shining ones of the Hills  
Soon they came a-roaring through the trees they were storming  
Rescued Gillian from his evil

In a silhouette of gleeful sparks  
Tiny silver bells rung and the Fairy dance continued  
Round the orangey light the sang  
Gillian the fairy girl, Gillian the Fairy Queen!

Egyptian Silk

on May 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Priestess  
In the Temple

Egyptian Temptress reaches A  
Divine Light of the Holy Sun  
Three scribes/ poet seers  
Silent Daughters of heavenly  
Kingdom

The prophet tosses coins upon a cloth  
Then into water, gazes at reflections  
Analyzes ink scribbles of stars  
The lines and patterns  
On twigs and stones  
The edge of her forehead  
The wrinkles in her bones  
The poets write what they feel as  
Visions upon cave walls  
The salt purifies them all  
As the thunder pushes  
His dragon into heaven's abode  
The Priest of Anubis  
Bride to the Astral Soul brings her  
The Silent Daughters of her mind  
As she wishes, as she dreams, until rainbow twilight  
The gift of Peace.

-Killer's Remorse-

on May 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

He is the killer that lives inside her  
Where she is hiding in silken skin  
Her slippery tears slither quietly, making ghosts  
Out of sharp claws that dig into her spine- they feast  
He is the killer, he lives inside her  
He is the killer, and he devours all she loves  
Lack of conscience, lack of knowing  
It seems to be, the pain never ceases  
Her guilty pleasures, ad infinitum  
Continue flirting with death and isolation  
Suicide never looked so grim  
A bright happy escape into delirium  
No, be not the pawn in her game- smiles upon  
A wicked frame, be not the child who was to blame  
I lacked the devotion to my friends  
Was raised in denial, tormenting no end  
My happy home, Want bravery? Want Jesus Christ or slavery?  
I'll carry you away from it, with no mortal life  
They love to torture, confuse my pain  
But tis no use, tis no use I say  
He is the killer- he wants me a bride  
Concealed and passive, no darkness on her side  
So pale and fruitless, suffering in love  
For the abandoned apple of knowledge  
So she finds her soul bleeding, and turns her poem into life  
And finds a bitter excuse, to slowly kill him  
She knows revenge well, it's sweetness is her sweat  
As nakedly she bows, to neither God nor Mother nor Satan  
Her guilty pleasures, ad infinitum  
Raining down upon the sea, sweetly brightly boldly  
Boldly sinfully sweetly...for  
Innocence is still her plea  
Until she's proven guilty of her worthless cause  
She'll turn to the moon...simply...then pause  
And so the children mock the witch  
And so the man with his iron fist  
Punches her in the back, she collapses  
Ah, childhood, let's let our bygones be bygones  
She's no victimized child, no guilty little girl  
Spoiled brat, better off dead, no mindless breed  
Unwanted  
She's wanted  
By the blood spoiled taste, a stain in her mouth  
Vampiress, queen of tirelessness, queen of insanity  
Insane and crazed by them who often cast her out  
By the pain she could no longer feel, outcast of doubt  
Unwanted  
And so you simply look on, for the little happy sunshine  
But no longer will she let you toil in your spoil  
For murder shall be mine  
Murder shall be hers

Feasting upon Flesh

on May 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

"Huuush sweetheart"  
he kisses my lips  
tenderly stroking my spine  
with his fingertips  
"You liked it."  
He manages to trespass  
Every single desire  
Making all my dreams  
Silently retire  
"Huuussh sweetheart"  
He creeps about the hall  
My guilty little queen  
Forgive me, for what  
I am doing, oh what  
what have I done, what  
have I done?

I shot her in the head  
With my silver little gun  
I shot her in the head  
She woke up and was gone  
I shot her in the head  
With my silver little gun  
Oh what have I done?  
What nightmares have I woven  
Into perfect little head  
I wish I had been there  
I wish I could have been her  
Friend  
"Huuush. My little dove"  
"I wish I could give you  
My love."  
But no, I do not know  
Why did you have to go?  
Murdered in the dark  
Feasting upon her heart  
Bare naked soul  
She loses control  
Can't find her place  
Losing this way  
My love,  
Like a dove  
fed to the cat in the tree  
"You will be mine...my sweet  
one day..."

Air

on May 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Airy soul to fly  
Through the oily painted sky  
Winds call forth the rain

Stirring a passion  
Within her daylight passing  
Airy soul to fly

~~*Release~~*

on May 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Quote::  
"Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin."  
Tori Amos

I.

Let's speak of running  
Over the daffodil hills  
And yearn for youth  
Through sweet cotton fields

I'll make freedom an adventure  
Boldly sailing the current  
Dreams not deferred  
Be a wild storm over  
the  
sunset

II.

There was a small place  
In her mind, for the ghost  
Who trembled and grumbled  
Before she made him toast

He was caught there, trapped  
In the fissure of her heart  
Coiled in soft vein  
He loved her, then lost

III.

We'll join the peace corps  
And send our bodies to faraway nations  
Spending our last quarters for a planet  
That drifts in plastic sea  
Waiting for someone to rescue humanity

Our children will grow proud  
And become giants  
They won't follow like ants  
Compliantly silent and they will wonder at life.

~*~

Defiant Leap

on May 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

One last defiant leap  
Through the window  
Now I'm soaring up above clouds  
Over railways and people  
And bridges and the clowns  
Soaring, through paper hurricanes  
And tidal waves profound  
Shores and seasons of sounds  
Mysteries pause to take a bow  
Beginning now, on to your future  
Wake up like the sun shines in  
Rising over the solitary hills  
And remember what it means  
remember what love was

What Pisses Me Off

on May 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Wasted relics of unknown life  
Tattered refuge in hollowed place  
She burns her malice like quickening fright  
And lovely confusion, is a must you must face

What pisses her off?  
This horrible spell  
Of sad little cliches of her "not doing well"  
or ignorant bitches

The silent click of the gun  
What pisses her off?  
When she's wasting her time.

Pierce The Darkness

on June 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The self is at mercy to darkness  
And so we swim in her waters  
Under immortal moon and deities  
I find myself battling inner demons  
Through courageous feats  
I do not stop to pause  
But think on my feet  
Finding a sword, I unsheathe it  
And then I pierce the heart  
Of the  
Queen of darkness  
I find myself yearning for freedom  
Escape from these cell walls  
If only a streak of light  
Insightful glimpse  
Could it  
Change this world into heaven?

Be an Answer

on June 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

God, please be an answer to his hope  
A merciful crown over mountain tops  
Supreme beauty that shines and never stops  
God, please be an answer to her hope

Yes, I will be an answer to your hope  
A merciful crown over mountain tops  
The supreme beauty that shines; never stops  
Yes, I will be an answer to your hope

God, bring us the power of your learning  
And we shall sow meaning into the stars  
And we shall boast of prophetic dreaming  
A place where we could all be seen as ours

Yes, I will be an answer to your hope  
A merciful crown over mountain tops  
The supreme beauty that shines; never stops  
Yes, I will be an answer to your hope

God, Jesus came with a message to teach  
A love so strong that it never failed him  
And when I feel God is out of my reach  
Someone quietly sings from within him

Yes, I will be an answer to your hope  
A merciful crown over mountain tops  
The supreme beauty that shines; never stops  
Yes, I will be an answer to your hope

Childhood

on June 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Childhood: a bright gift  
Even the poor laborer dreams  
That butterflies will flutter him away

Starry Night

on June 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

stars lift high over lofty mountain-side  
ebony hairs fall gently over a winged angel's head  
as she's shooting through space at infinite speeds  
through darkness' peril and dragon-like depth

peaceful transcendence over evil's remarks  
a state of mind- blissful, riding the storms songs  
with quivering sandals child tip-toes into sea  
through lilacs and daisies, where mermaids are free

the sea-moon shining with a face of desire  
for crystallized hearts shining brilliantly  
A child's spark, glistens, laughing jewels in the sky  
She laughs and they twinkle- she speaks through their eyes

Stars- silver diamonds and golden hues of grace  
Still not as far out as we think of them, far off in space  
For when your heart is fully open- with love and joy  
They act as waves, and you can ride them away

Full Bloom

on June 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She found a resting place  
Amidst the purple roses  
A place to await her love  
As an angel in mourning  
Gracefully she sighs  
Over hills where she flies  
But for now in spring's shine  
She is awaiting the fruit  
Of eternal Serenity

Beauty's Lament

on June 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Oh >Beauty< is but a sinful game  
twisting away at your honest name  
with sour eyes that know not deepness  
nor quench your glamourous desires  
which overcome dark tranquil stars  
Oh perhaps you are, yes, perhaps  
Not zealous with your difference  
Do not speak! For you are too young  
With guiltless innocence admire!  
The sugar cube upon your throne  
Which throws a mere mortal to despair

The Pirate of Yesterday

on June 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The Pirate of Yesterday

Yesterday had smirked and laughed  
Then he let the ego win  
For virtue of a violent storm  
As the serpent coiled about him

God, he was once a gentle past  
A voice heard beyond the sea  
And soon I will pronounce your fate  
A voiceless earth shall sing~

Yesterday, the rain did seem strange  
With a knowledge that escaped me  
And answers to an impulse's low  
Behold, the electric sky

No bitterness felt, though evil was lurking  
The dark magician cannot stay~  
And I pierced the heart of his cruel mistress  
The rose, the vampire, and the lady!

As your vicious power overwhelmed me  
Though godlike stars spent a dying wish  
To witness once, and to not expire  
Who haunts his destiny with bliss

But thine eye of evil: a coward still  
Overwhelmed by the witch's spidery mind  
And so she trembled, weaving a web of silk  
To catch those little butterflies

As our muses flutter about to shudder  
In the trapped room about them  
I realized at a final prize, presents for a spell  
This treason if you will...a lie

We wandered about, as trickling time spent  
I called to the God of Yesterday  
He sent me a fairy, still bouncing about  
And I journeyed further into your History~*

Sweet Peach

on June 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Your sweet lush texture

soft & delicate & pale

so soothing to my appetite~

You are the tasty

and you fit gently into the palm of my hand

I'm sinking my teeth into you~  
Still gently savoring your juiciness

This is a delightful visit to the sunny shore  
Of Virginia Beach

with peaches galore~

Just Enough

on June 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

A few crumpled bills, and forty dollars  
Some mascara, and some brown eyeliner

Mosquito repellent  
Sun tan lotion, one bottle of water

A candy bar, some gin  
And a pocket-knife for slaughter

Heaven's Angel

on June 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

In the light of the morning  
A little black crow  
Sings atop a barn all covered in snow  
She sings a sorrowful song of love lost, love gone  
Love not yet lived in a girl with no one  
With an unrequited hope for her life moving on  
The days are growing colder  
Her heart's feeling still, she sees  
his face in strangers  
He was a stranger until  
He met her  
But no one makes a sound  
where she's wrapped up in the chill  
And everyone around her has grown  
Why is she still a child inside  
When she already knows the poor girl is crying  
Dying, and living a lie  
Is there nothing the poor girl can do except lie?

The Drifter

on June 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

home-less  
I do not seem to mind  
All the days I wander  
with a piece of me left behind

drifting around corners  
The ending never nears  
As soon as I get around one  
The next one disappears

I feel so juvenile  
Delicately fragile  
I am not really in denial  
But I fear I'm going out of style

how do I get there  
how much emotion should I save  
to pour into this page  
not for you, but for me...today I'll be

The next something  
anything  
anyone to someone  
But who am I to me?  
I don't know  
I've seemed  
to have lost my personality

So I'll just be  
Off the wall  
or I'm stuck with being  
rather small

But you look so tired  
of seeing me  
maybe I'll let you go  
Eventually nothing

Is everything I'll see

Silent Stardust

on June 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

silence is often more then enough words to express  
She holds the gun close to her chest  
She sends letters to them all when they aren't there  
There is a sun shining down from the crack in the door  
Wonders why her heart breaks on a piano key  
girl, they try to call her because she looks more like a boy

She's been dancing on the dance floor  
She's not dancing for anyone.  
She grows a garden full of daisies  
Flowers make her feel like a diamond bright  
When the darkness closes in on her  
She's alone on the inside, but it's still alright  
One two three, step tap swing  
Go with the flow and you might be free again  
But dances with vampires  
The china in the kitchen is going to cry  
She holds a gun high up to the world  
And she's ready to say goodbye

Another Love Song~*

on June 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

No one feels how I feel here  
A love-sick melody  
Full of fear, hiding it all safe inside  
I memorize everyone else's eyes  
But what about my lines  
I can't dance this dance  
I can't fake romance  
Our little dizzy kisses  
On the back porch of the selfish hearts  
But tell me what I did wrong  
Because I never got to start  
It may be a little too too hard  
To live a normal life for him  
Can't you feel the pain  
In every trivial attempt to play the part  
When the ending is coming  
And I am trying to hang on  
To nothing nothing nothing  
What about a favorite love song  
No one feels how I feel here  
They can't understand they look away  
Have you ever felt so tired  
You can't live you can't cry  
Not hanging on just free falling  
All alone on your birthday  
Like a rolling stone  
You're all on your own  
And the people who loved you  
Are dying and you can't stand it  
Because the pain is too hard to tell  
So you sell it in your poem  
But who would care  
Who would dare  
To read between the lines  
What matters more than this  
That personal issue you can't escape  
Just overwhelm them with your tears falling  
All over this sad sad horizon  
Because when the clouds show their smiles  
They part the way, for not just you  
They part the way for everyone  
It's the saddest song you could hear  
It brings a tear to your eye  
When the love you understood was true  
Died for you to pull on through  
And if you cried oh well  
Because we're going through the motions  
And everyone's crying 1000 oceans  
Love became the biggest crime

Burnt Down

on June 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I want it not to hurt me anymore  
When the pain becomes delirium, becomes a revolver  
I want a reality to verify me  
Not this substitution of everything we had meant to be  
I don't know how to put it  
when everywhere I turn  
There's a feeling of yearning  
There's a feeling of being burnt out  
I wait for something to happen  
Or I try to make the rain fall  
But nothing really makes a difference  
No nothing makes a difference at all  
When everyone is outside looking in  
When I am stifled by the outcast glares  
I have become the biggest plan  
For the holy hours of the defeatists  
With their sacred little hands ensnared  
Touching over everything until  
It's clean like sand  
Why even speak  
When there's nothing.

I wanted an answer  
That's all I ever really wanted then  
But now I have to admit  
I want everything.

The fire screams, the scary man is laughing  
I want something for me to hold on to  
But where have I been going?

_Untitled_

on June 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

each day passes by  
no one is interested in why  
everyone knows  
there's nothing left

but depravity is fine  
you will never be mine  
Just stick to your whiskey dreams  
I will waste away

Drown out the world in crimson  
And get high to get on  
Pass out on the sky  
And lie on the castle walls

Piss on happiness  
Like the out-sider with nothing to say  
It's the drunk girl on saturday night  
You can just stay away from me

It's all about who has their nose in the air  
And justice doesn't seem to care  
each day passing away  
Modern rock for a post-modern world

Lady Dressed in Green

on June 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I wanted to be that lady dressed in green  
A woman so dark, such a beauty fair unseen  
Where deep in the mountain she, like a weathered rose  
Grows standing tall upon the grass, grows the woman who knows  
the fairy round her goes "La la La"  
Dancing round her in majesty, only tiny butterflies carry me away  
Heart kept safely on a ribbon round my shoulder she'll stay  
If I could be that lady dressed in green! I could be at peace~  
If only I could be someone so unseen so deep so sweet so fair  
Dripping with dew, tears of thunder, heaven cries for you  
She's a woman in love with the world, she cares  
Like a goddess she rises over the windy hill she finds the path  
But she's no object, because she's one  
Tomorrow we flee like the night races the star  
In a motel on the beach I will hear you play guitar  
Screaming "That's the way we are"  
No beautiful mountains for me, nothing but paved highways to the clouds  
No one saw my cigarette burn, into the night we let them hear themselves  
Out loud.

Christine

on June 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

For whom which rings that obnoxious bell  
That sends such shivers down my spine  
I wish upon a moonlight star, like you could tell  
What blood was yours, what heart was mine

He strung three fingers round her neck  
He shaped the child to fit the part  
Now she can't ever stand the light  
So you count the sheep in the dark  
And say "goodnight my sleepless sweet heart"

He found himself drifting in and out of painted faces  
Could not help but hear the young ladies sing  
In there pretty rose-pink dresses, "Dracula is King!"  
Their childish laughter rang like a silver bell  
Sending shivers down my spine then to hell  
For whom they sing that bitter madness is to wait  
Sleeps through the night while dancing maladies  
Each empty echo is the entrance for her  
She enters through the gates of the ending, my fate

I imagine Dracula has found his wife  
I let him suck me deeply, how he sucks me dry  
And all I ever wanted was to get away  
But drowning in desire is just what darkness does to you  
So frown on the stain upon my throat where he's smitten with jealousy  
Lovely, darling, don't ever die from me...but he will but he will  
Should she get immortal life for history's sake?  
We haven't enough time to discuss what's at stake  
What was once mortal joy has turned to forever dust  
Could not these venom tears keep sacred such tenderness?

Silent Butterflies

on June 25. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Silent butterflies  
guide the way to my paradise  
I want sunshine and Ice cream I want  
heavenly sleep, coffee and newspapers in the morning  
Silent butterflies, I close your eyes  
Guide the way to the door of light  
Somewhere over the rainbow is my paradise  
Somewhere over the rainbow...just a  
silent butterfly.

Happy

on June 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It's the pomegranate martini in her hand  
That sends disorder to sway  
And the drifting feeling when she walks by you  
And she's just on her way  
It sends your eyes to sway  
She tries to look away  
You quiver with dismay  
She'll send your heart away  
Such madness it is to say  
Her heart is only shy

The plane blasts off to everywhere you are  
the rush of not knowing who I am or even where  
I leave my dark guitar famished in the corner there  
In her silhouette, she is a burlesque star~*  
He's a stow away off somewhere far  
or am I lost to those who'd wish to know me better  
Those dreams become realities  
& I keep living because I wish  
during the sadness of my life-  
upon a star  
Blackened white fades to gray and you are gone  
Then life is red and it's the pain of one minute instead of none  
In your rented car I feel like I am queen of the damned

As the train lifts off of the ground, the sky crawls away  
You can't get out of here. Try harder they would say  
Right here you can live on the edge of the sky  
Hit the back door to slip away for eternal light. A blood red heart  
Gone blue-and-gray.....where do we go from here?  
Cast off on the edge of everything you still  
Life becomes beautiful and I am stuck inside with  
locked lips so tight  
Dirty hair and windy shore and I'm losing ground  
June July and Maybe May we will grow happier with life  
I painted a portrait of my life, no one seems to think it makes any difference  
to the perfect scene...with every animal in its cage  
Just happy to be seen.

Clean

on June 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It's the smooth sheen of liquid  
as clear as the morning dew  
Waiting as you shimmer in the sun  
Laying out to dry, you are almost done  
I stir your sweetest substance  
Careful not to splash out any lye  
Molds are prepared to fit my style  
You'll be mine in a little while  
I'll wrap you up in muslim for a friend  
This is the best present  
Anyone would ever send

Umbrella

on June 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She clutches close her remembrances  
Of him, when it rained- it stormed  
Nothing was wrong, it was always right: the "perfect" note  
Waits on the dresser beside her string of pearls  
Where He buried himself deep in her arms  
When it rained it always stormed  
She carries him over the sea...stretching out across galaxies  
He listens to her breathing love  
Love, loves to play with her hair every morning  
Love, loves to wear that same pink waistcoat  
Love, loves to carry her umbrella on the sidewalk  
When it's raining, raining my tears to hers  
When I'd rather be kissing her cheek  
Kisses away the self, for what remains is free.

-The Sonnet

on June 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The sunshine will cry out to you dearly  
Through this door where I will wait for my dear  
Where can I fly if I want to be free?  
What decisions to be wrought for me here

Men dress with white ribbons in their hair, here  
When men dress in drag, with a lip-smeared grin  
I find the love of a curious girl  
What decisions are to be my chagrin?

She stares, through the darkest corner, I plea  
She loves only one who was left to rot  
In my sad sorry woe, I beg for them to see  
Her voice still carries through here though is not

One day we will join and then be Married  
One day we shall, but in here I'll be buried.

An Angry Rose

on June 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I drank your holy holy holiest wine  
the hour is just past 1:00  
Dracula smiles in through banished corridors  
A flight of fancy...I'm almost done  
Crowded rooms and not but leaking wounds  
Darkened laughter haunts the gable  
Where in a frenzied dance chills a lost eye  
She found herself floating over the corners  
In a dress she stole from her late mother  
I drank your holy holy holiest wine  
And danced with you, you danced with me  
I am too far gone, too far gone  
There's no breathing room in here to shout  
One more losing sound and I remember who I am  
And then you pull my eyelids shut god damn

Denier of Death

on June 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The end is the end of all my being  
and sensation and feeling  
something I should fear with my very soul  
Though I silently dismiss the accusations  
I am not who I say I am to me  
I know the truth is, I deny death to be  
And through my denial I hold this crutch  
What makes me different? From others who  
Would blindly accept their fate as such  
I do not seem to fall in the line  
The end is the end of all my being is it not?  
Yet I do not care, passively, I deny that  
I dare not admit that I'm afraid of death.

Justice...

on July 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I cannot give you credit  
For this awakening  
My spirit  
Free  
As the flower trembles.

Diseased

on July 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I have no emotions left save this malady of misfortune  
Ingratitude for my condition and hatred for salvation.  
All was vandalized and taken from my heart and soul and mind you see   
I have struggled violently  
With my "demons" and these nightmares have taxed all my strength  
No words could describe what brings to these demented cruelty  
And despair! Oh Despair of want of being...me  
Don't call me a psycho...please don't be so cruel  
Please don't call me a psycho...it won't leave me alone.

It won't go and this room is full of hollow echoes,  
so empty these voices that bellow out  
Drained of all empathy, I cannot remember my own voice  
Cannot shout! Why be anyone...no empathy for life...why say anything when shattered without sight...in sickness and peril...gone from the light!  
They travel down my spine  
to the tips of my toes  
Coursing through my veins  
And dazzling with pride, as I empty their remains. You know, life isn't easy...because no one cares much...for their pasty faces, white scars, placebos and drunken sighs. I matter, don't I? Or Do I?

And this injection won't release these demented demons  
But I have my own cures, I have no reason for being worried...this will pass...away  
along and empty highway....and I don't believe it s a curse  
Through careful movements, I can hurry along  
this corridor through these horrible worlds...and no one has any imagination  
So I am confined for my liberation.  
Then I will become your next improvement, and I will feel again  
I will feel that beautiful sensation,  
most glorious of all sensations yes...emotion.

And then this well of happiness will free or feed my soul  
its missing part  
And once again, I believe in my heart  
What joy without love, what peace  
I am simply a being without a life, Comfortably Numb  
And no one will ever cure my disease.

Patiently Waiting

on July 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The relics of her body  
that painted the lost staircase  
through his warped  
corridors of  
Her patient's eyes  
that followed her  
Round the infirmary to the cages  
Where they were crated  
Through wheelchairs, chest pains  
Maladies! Pissing on their clothes  
Naked in the living-room, wearing no clothes  
Unwanted, believing in nothing but themselves  
They were patients, stowed away upon the shelves  
relics of her model figure  
A doll for all to see  
Painted porcelain  
Oh no that isn't me!  
Message to the world- it's over. It's over.  
Nothing matters, I will find ...the answers.  
But nothing matters, I'm moving to San Fransisco.

Red and Black

on July 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Normal

She rode the chariot through the white curtains  
Comforted by the calling  
of the songs of the songbirds  
Who loved her  
Exactly the way she was before this shit took over

You killed yourself, Jane, through these dead end buildings  
Built to destroy yourself when faces were  
Built to linger  
On  
his eyes, A grin  
Of sadness  
The laugh of a child...this stillness of her smile  
The drug of FREEDOM. The feeling of falling, nihilism  
And I am an empty voice, powerless to defeat her ocean  
His mind calls like a telephone, and I am just regurgitating sound  
OH how profound. This sadness,  
It could be better, it could be worse. Of course, Jane, He'll kill himself  
Or worse...you'll be drowning in liquor and safely in your safety belt. Talking to yourself, it's only the ego wrapped in a shell.

Who cares anymore? I don't care. But I have come undone...because I'm broken.

And I don't care. Why bother to sound profound, when nothing is anything but the same damn sound.

The Gypsy Dances

on July 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

In the sweet perfumery of her lilac she dreams  
We waited under moonlight, to watch the gypsy's dancing  
Caught off guard, I, I sailor on a string  
As the light flickered tonight, the gypsy plays her flute  
as she dances ringing little bells,  
like the agelessness of youth rings true  
Making stars quiver as if becoming Gypsies too  
As if alight in their own solitary romance   
Her brilliant ruby sash, covers her eyes from the man  
In his dark silhouette, she can see his silver crown

And I glance as she drifts by  
Mesmerized by her air of lightness  
Down the dark marble stairways  
I follow my sweet so daringly  
Her golden heart entranced by  
My gentle caresses  
If only her heart were mind, if only the drug of her dance  
Didn't make me crave her so, this yearning for a chance  
To dance all night long...if I weren't the prince  
The prince of darkness, the prince of the damned  
I'd dance with the Gypsy until the very end.

Dementia

on July 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Her memory is fading far out over the sea  
She is ageless and divine  
Each wrinkle is  
A memory, the apple ripe on the apple tree  
When the hand that had once touched  
So delicately, the hands of a man she loved  
Most passionately,  
The smoothness of her silken skin  
When she was just a young woman  
When her emotions poured out like a spring...

So she yawns, then she cries a precious tear  
For the morning came  
And no one was yet there...Where did he go? No one shall know.

Far off in the distance, her little girl  
collects silver gems glittering in between seaweed  
entwined hearts that loved  
hearts which never yearned for more than the simplicity  
of Autumn leaves, a darkness totally  
Pure.  
White and Black roses  
entwined in thorny vines  
Which tell the tales of bittersweet tragedies

Oh how she drank this bittersweet wine  
Like a vampire, as she sank into the comfortable bed  
Three white pills and then laid down her head.

Oh can she remember me? What is a memory? Oh mother can it be?  
I am nothing but a sharp chorus, a deadened melody...I am  
Writing about poetry.

Little girl Little girl of mine what do you see?  
Little girl little girl, wish you were mine

Then came through the window a sudden breeze  
And awakened the music of her soul to dance without limbs  
Without these silly thoughts stolen by clowns  
She spake of dementia, she spake of her sound

The gown of white, cloaked her form  
As she passed through the stony graveyard  
A memory filled her nostrils with the scent of ripe orange blossoms  
A memory of a life lived once before  
Which never existed, if only in the heart  
Of a simple flower.

The Highway...my Exit Sign

on July 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I walk a silly path  
With repetitious things  
The same routine  
Same road I am traveling

I wish I could free,  
Fall into you  
Wrapped around by your arms  
I am senile though

I am a crazy child  
I kiss the light that burns  
Am I in love, love with myself  
I don't know...but it hurts

So you starved me of my spirit  
And in darkness I had waited  
For the spring that never came  
But here I am and it is spring  
and i don't feel a damn thing

So is this sane for you  
And what sort of expression do you please  
I see this sort of world,  
Stopped where i began  
And broke myself in fear of these things

I am not good  
I am too complex, my life is a void  
Oh I am voiceless  
And no one will ever read my mind  
Oh they can't...but they would try

Whereever I am going

I was brought up without knowing  
What destroyed the light?  
Why is my mom dying tonight  
Why everyone is so far gone  
Was I once the only happy one?

If I should chew this through  
Would i ever reach to you  
Is love really a part of life  
So tell me what is wrong with mine...

Rebellious Hate

on July 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She is obviously the pessimist to the Catholic Girls

In her Virgin uniform  
No friends to comprehend...she forgets to comprehend  
Moving to CA, she says I'm going to make it  
On my own. Money is something I don't own.  
does it matter- your property is shit to me  
You don't even own me...now. I am empty like your seashells.

I followed so many dark dreams into my skin  
Like masochistic remnents, of who that girl I am I was used to be  
lines in the sun, lines on the highway  
Where are you going on Tuesday  
She does drugs and has some fun...get's high on Maryjane  
Rustling like leaves in the cold autumn breeze  
Does anything she says invoke imagery, there's no love in her heart  
Arrhythmia  
Oh for Catholic Saints and Vampires who know blood like mine

The catatonic Misfit, shit- the burlesque whore of delirium

She'll give you her show, all who she is...gone out like the flame  
Depression is a mighty tramp...but with this drug,deary, we can heal that cramp  
For forty-dollars and a pocket full of snow  
Put some more emotion into it, they will never understand  
Whether she's on demand, schizophrenic, or just a fit-for-reprehension  
Kind of girl that makes you shiver  
She's the quicksand that sinks you deeper  
Stares into the movie star's eyes- with no recollection of her fame  
She sees one name, Human, Human,  
She will melt your candy with her tongue  
You bitter apathists. What the hell is wrong with  
me, me...where have I been anyways.  
Under the rain...I just slipped away.  
The cold dripping rain, a melancholy  
Drinking was never her style. The downers and uppers took too long to settle in

Purgatory

on July 1. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Our dispositions are baring the heaviest of weights  
For through the tightened grasp of our blaming fists  
we struggle to procrastinate our wishes  
\--where thoughts left to flow like streams of chemical waste  
No one can set us free, shaking through each others insecurities  
Like life was engineered...like one line could carry any sort of taste  
The wretched cripple, we know so well  
Ready to redeem yourself, prepared for this strange illusion of hell  
a condition that will bring me around in the morning  
But right now, through these relics I am snoring

His shadow crouches over the snake in the light  
Trying to make sense of her growing appetite  
Till the shell is cracked, the cage is jammed shut around me  
When the angry jaw clamps down, and bloody eyes are shot  
On the bed of a swan's feathers sits the homicidal ghost  
Sleeping below her palms, sweaty markings...with no roses of course  
Angelic scribbles, a criss-cross across his chest  
This is his romantic affair, it was a nightmare at best

I'll take you away from your melancholy strife...I promise  
And tear off your burdening chains, unleash your chaotic hell-wish  
No longer the put off, pretty anesthetized bird you knew so well  
Would fall for these mechanisms of a lunatic's words...until

But to pretend that you would understand my dream  
When refusing to succumb to my delirious lies  
I guess living without much of a fanciful mind, creates its own  
Compromise.

Dark Dreams in Delirium

on July 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She lays there half-conscious in a state of agony  
He says not to say anything...he says to be still right now  
The darkness wraps a cold finger around her throat tightly  
Presses into her, no warmth or chill to be felt

Her eyes un-seeing as she's pulled into a twisted fairy-tale  
astounded by the brilliant colors Now is the time  
Now, it is time to set her free of her  
Perfect disease

watching the hypnotic display...  
how does this confusion leave her so haunted  
She's forced to eye the delusions  
such a beautiful scene

She knows deep down for she is aware  
it is another bout of sleep paralysis  
Then he pulls her in again and again  
Twists the dagger into her skin

Stained with a masochism  
Her eyes blurry and red  
She makes appearances dancing out of her body in a house  
That should not be haunted.

Scribbles~

on July 3. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

And as I am blown away, a leaf fallen from grace  
the winds tousle my hair  
while topless Chinese dancers  
dance upon silver clouds  
crowning their king who sits on his  
musical chair with a happy sneer  
I am depressed with all my apathy and wanting  
I inhale the toxic perfumes and spite  
laced with heavenly abominations  
and I tremble, as she licks her lips  
so soft, are those sweet hips  
that shake and I am but a wavering light  
a fraction of the cost tonight  
Heaving the scissor's edge into my breast  
I cut off the part of me society likes best  
swallowing all the rest of my pain  
I jumped off your forty foot building  
Finding that my sickness left me high  
When loved for my sadness  
At least I could still get by  
But the chords are turning chaos  
And I'm burnt. the cigarette butts  
burn holes in my arm, my heart is now released  
I feel bodiless and warm...next victim being  
Your Ego. So I slap you in the face and scream  
As your smile erases from that sorry line in your face  
I wipe you clean you will not leave your traces...  
Now weeping upon a lonely bridge, wanted only by trees  
I fall through the ocean waves...suicide? Yes please.

Hope

on July 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I want to change the system  
I will get much older and rise above this  
the ways they are living shine so bright  
So blinding are these objects.

So intense and so pointless to me  
I am dirty, I am not pretty  
who needs these expensive shoes,  
When you are bold enough to wear  
What keeps you walking?  
Why not go through life--

(What keeps me pale and white?)

Without these dark alleys to fear?  
with less of these things that we can't afford  
I would like to go through a world  
A place, balance on the edge.

But why do I need a reward?  
I will pass away  
And I can demand with my heart  
Peace for an eternity.

Who will lead the way, yes,  
Who will lead the way?

What man could take her hand?  
Though it shall never be mine  
You must understand

Out of the box and free from things that  
Keep me so inside  
and even though I am not perfect  
I'm living a decent life.

I can't hold on much longer  
What am I trying to find?  
Not pleasing you, not pleasing me  
eagerly seeking rapture.

I have no one to fool with my light  
growing cold, into an endless place  
with peeling skin...so many contradictions  
I live on a house under the moon  
in black and white we can still see the stars.

And before me is insanity  
And around me is the forgotten self  
she lives in a broken down anxiously  
awaiting some sort of relief.

so selfishly she pretends  
to care about what they feel  
but it's a fake kind of thing  
Who could tell her it was real?

Inner Peace

on July 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

deep in the sea she sleeps  
free from others' dark troubles  
dreaming of the soft sand and starfish  
as glimmering jelly-fish  
float beyond her dreaming life  
the girl who once had never believed  
she'd leave it all for a saving light  
sleeps oh so peacefully  
no questions asked...  
I am at my inner peace

Writing

on July 6. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

a stretch of canvas  
the sad blue eyes  
of a stray dog wandering  
beside the crazy highway  
looking for someone  
but everyone looks away

looking for a moment  
that doesn't simply disappear  
we create imaginary friends  
and live our lives on the edge  
and then we fade  
through worn out pages  
In churches we pray  
and yet,  
why question?  
the answers are already here

So I give in  
and write you a beautiful poem  
what you wanted to hear  
so that you will understand me  
I write for something that will  
Help me feel  
yet I am not feeling like writing  
for a hologram of eyes

Why write at all?  
They all look away.

Three Corners

on July 12. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

where the two ridges meet  
she crosses with her feet  
her life mapped out and she loved him once  
through circuitry of wires  
filling empty bottles and she still does  
with hope and life's desire

only one too many drinks and she's already thinking  
he will leave her hanging for a line and she sees him  
with lifeless shoes dangling over the boardwalk over cities  
holds herself upright and catches a star with her tongue

says goodbye to the generous and tales of living young  
slips down the assembly line and smiles in her own way  
nods her head to the circuit pipes and bids them all "good day."  
her eyes darkened with misfortune and she knows it's not so right

wrapped around his silver cane and she loves him holds him tight  
sifting through bareness and dares the light to show somehow  
filtering through magazines for a face to fit her own  
she hits the street like a cop or a cat  
and forgets to miss the corners or smile not tip her hat

~Forever~

on July 12. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

~    ~

I would take you for a walk  
through the beautiful blue sky  
we would sail on white puffy clouds  
sipping pink lemonade and I'd  
write songs with just your eyes  
and their shadows would be beautiful  
and this ugliness would feel right  
I long for two blue hearts   
Even heaven would not deny it

Chains

on July 13. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The seasons change  
so do the people change  
the springs bring us a drink  
that keeps us alive and yet  
we'd remain so estranged  
on the coldest autumn day  
hearts find a way  
to each other instead of  
the decay  
In the Bible, I read the myths  
Of Baptisms and Apocalypses  
I look towards the sidewalk  
I look into the faces, then I face them  
And I tell the world that I am ready  
And I face them, and I can't tell  
whether or not I am trying at all  
To free myself or float on by  
With the crumbling wanton dream  
Just slipping through my fingers  
There's no room on this floor  
Or in this room or on this planet earth  
To be human enough to know who  
Your face wants to represent before you...  
So I impersonate your God  
and command the towers to fall  
And the bridges burnt  
And I don't know...you...at all.

Summer Breeze

on July 13. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

-Justice_ I know-  
you just can't speak,  
lasting words won't last in hear  
where soft edges crack  
and all phrases are dissimilar  
just sit with me and here  
whisper lost sentences  
"don't" "take" "my" "hand"   
wash the world as it is handed away  
like families of stars

with happy faces that don't dissolve  
under a unicorn of warmth  
not the delighted dancer  
on a summer's breeze flying  
through the endless novels  
sleeping like the buzzing bees

but tonight we'll dissolve love  
like lovers always do and watch  
the woman become the fish  
under your insane shoe  
corporate, competent, controlled  
or a somewhat lonely fool

wish on a happy fish and the sea so blue  
find yourself lost of death and suffocating too  
on dark cold eyes and Godless lights  
apart from the music we will free our minds  
alone on the floor we will party alone  
and drowning in diamonds  
silently happy  
deaf and free  
stupidly a  
Catatonia of Me.  
~*~   
~*~ ~*~

At the Train Station

on July 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Ca rted through the station...voices feeling distant yet still floating on

They fade sometimes though still persistent

For my heart they carry their magic wand

wave away my sorrow and tie a knot

No human love, no careless bond

I am bound in a straight-jacket

Found on the wall, smoking blackness and ash

I loved a man in a white suite once he was gone

He had a goatee and his angry heart lept

Right out of his chest into my palms

he wore rage on his sleeve

And anger was his plot

I remember a boy, in yellow overalls

Who drank whiskey and dreamed

Of video games and shopping malls

We once shot bullets in the dark  
Then our knives went up through the walls and the ceiling

And then sometimes we'd stab our hearts

Stuck on a train

Rambling on about my misdirection

Pain, or sadness...nothing nothing

With a baggage of thoughts

heavy weights upon the soul

But you'd spare it for God and your self-control!

Or to talk to the angels you love,

Who imagine you pretty  
And violently free

Sending you flowers and misery from above

a body stuck in one cell

without a place to really dwell

In the confines of misery  
Death row, a tragic history

A witch in the dungeon

Where theories find refuge

In religion.

Drowning under the sea

Body scorched with devil's marks

And who do you set before me?

The woman who you called a whore.

Before the line is their divide

Before the mind, I criticized a mind for

A psychology of nothing...thoughts regained their power

Like the essence of flowers

your pills taste like bitter candy

Like sweet tarts and brandy

And I dreamt about nuclear bombs

When I rode through Mississipi

I felt so non-committal  
To death and its glory

Canned fish and open mouths

Ready to bite the hook, humans so greedily

Baited the fish, who were them but also me

I do not need nothing but I bleed

Until dry

On and off and the devices will rewind

As I am

Carrying my bones...no one who knows of my fright

Lost zones and comfortable frowns

Stuck on a train tonight

Rambling on, no destination I carry myself freely

He is dying, then he is dying and I am alive immortally

Everyone is gone...away far away

Into the light of the new dawn I run

But I keep rambling on

I keep rambling on

I keep on going with nothing in mind

Until I settle over the sheet

And barely can I greet

The pessimistic frown

And I am the solitary clown.

Unbound

on July 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I was Carted through the station

In a heavy metal crate I was created

the voices feeling distant yet still floating in through

The bars of my cage, inhuman...still I know.

I couldn't feel the change as my emotions flattened down

Under the soles of my feet, on the cold cement ground

They faded still- sometimes though they remain

Like savages beating an old deerskin drum

Like those pure worthy nuns screaming for sex and they run

And in the distance you can still hear her hum...

For my heart they carry themselves around a lot

to wave away my sorrow, shall I tie a knot in my heart

No human love, no careless bond...tied around my neck

I am bound in a straight-jacket

Chained to the walls and I want no human to come back

My daughter leans on the bricks, smoking tobacco

Dreaming of San Fransisco and Johnny in Chicago

And lovers with love that lasts forever

I loved a man in a white suite, he drowned himself in alcohol

He had a goatee and his angry heart would have leapt

Right out of his chest into my palms

he wore rage on his sleeve

And anger was his plot, he swept around my cot

I remember a boy, in yellow overalls

Who drank whiskey and dreamed

Of video games and shopping malls

We once shot bullets in the dark  
Then our knives went up through the walls and the ceiling

And then sometimes we'd stab our hearts

Stuck on a train

Rambling on about my misdirection

Pain, or sadness...nothing nothing

With a baggage of thoughts

heavy weights upon the soul

But you'd spare it for God and your self-control!

Or to talk to the angels you love,

Who imagine you pretty  
And violently free

Sending you flowers and misery from above

a body stuck in one cell

without a place to really dwell

In the confines of misery  
Death row, a tragic history

A witch in the dungeon

Where theories find refuge

In religion.

Drowning under the sea

Body scorched with devil's marks

And who do you set before me?

The woman who you called a whore.

Before the line is their divide

Before the mind, I criticized a mind for

A psychology of nothing...thoughts regained their power

Like the essence of flowers

your pills taste like bitter candy

Like sweet tarts and brandy

And I dreamt about nuclear bombs

When I rode through Mississipi

I felt so non-committal  
To death and its glory

Canned fish and open mouths

Ready to bite the hook, humans so greedily

Baited the fish, who were them but also me

I do not need nothing but I bleed

Until dry

On and off and the devices they will rewind

As I am defined

Carrying my bones...no one who knows of my fright

Lost zones and comfortable frowns

Stuck on a train tonight

Rambling on, no destination I carry myself free

He is dying, then he is dying and I am alive immortally

Everyone is gone...away far away

Into the light of the new dawn I run

But I keep rambling on

I keep rambling on

I keep on going with nothing in mind

Until I settle over the sheet

And barely can I greet

The pessimistic frown

And I am the solitary clown

Scoffed at and bound

And I am neither male nor female

But insane, stripped of my world so probable

So probable and sound.

Until Asleep

on July 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

He sings with with his mouth till sore

of the gypsy girl- and teenagers dancing on the dance-floor  
With the needles in her veins, how they pinch a sore

and interesting sentences when gone to the lost man in the store

Prying loose all remnants of a memory that would last

left at lost remarks and he was my invention befor

Hotel trips to Las Vegas with no soul but the sound of engines

And a girl trapped in a house, without a reason to leave it

Making kisses under lamp posts in the rain over the ground

smeared against her little veins, the blood of all she contained

the smoothness of his lips kissing her fingertips....the darkness

And his moustache hiding the things she never missed

Shadows of an eclipse, during the interlude of memories

She finds herself delirious, shuddering in the blanket of pessimism

In the corners when the shadows don't recognize

Smell like dandelions and listlessness of a compromise

Until she lays next to him on a bed on the moon

They compromise the comatose and find the stars alligned

She cradles her intentions....they never leave her do they leave

But they do...they are all looking for something small

So she picks up a flower, a tiny reminder

Of how little we need to try, she tosses it and then  
We all fly away.

Searching

on July 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I leapt to new horizons  
yet I smoked three cigarettes  
choking on their ashy embrace  
I thought of New York and Los Angeles  
People reading my mind through magazine lines  
I have come to the conclusion  
I need much more than this  
Bravery is my crucifix

I need much more of this

I am in a state of confusion

Detachment and substitution

Waiting for your return

How the seasons burn

No one understands me

My illogical rambling

But eventually I will meet him  
Jesus Christ will be standing

Before my eyes

And all the angels shall arise

Plunge

on July 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

"Tell me that you don't take that blade and drag it across your skin and pray for the courage to press down." ~ "Girl, Interrupted"

PLUNGE

&& You see things that aren't really there

Little stairways into places you can't reach here

You are very far, as a scene fades away- try harder

It's the things you wish you didn't believe in

And no matter how hard you try to choke them down

The pills will fall to the -ground- with a *heart*breaking sound

&& no one around you, no one is even there

You take the razors, the silver shines in your eyes

You aren't scared. Are you scared?

It glimmers, it is almost like a prize

Criss-crosses against your wrists-- those veins

The sad look in your mother's eyes

A masochistic invention of your own device  
Petty pain. You are rebelling against reason

You reason with the pain, the pain runs through

Your veins, and courses through your beating heart

Nothing matters- what does it matter- you're a goner now

He loved me when he saw the frown on my face

The blood red marks and my scars on my skin

I bled three roses for you my dear, it was him

Until the posies disappeared, she forgot of love

And she was finally free, with just a knife as a memory

In this new world I ordered you a dozen red roses

All with the blood of my love and you had love for my bones

The one that you always denied and the girl who never knew

&& Maybe this time it'll be different

I'm on a fast train wanting it to fly down to the edge

Hit the ground and feel the bullets surround me

No ones reading my sentences, no eyes form a body here

But I am free and yet a slave to this mirror

As you whip me clean of my mistakes

Criss-cross and an angel's thorny halo is in place

Of which you won't understand

The circles under her eyes- shallow they comprehended

She runs into the fields, icy cold and scattered petals

With mushroom clouds high overhead

Of all the things she hadn't said

In one instant, the camera shows her life surrounded

In one instant, the camera shows her when she is dead

Country Girl

on July 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I live in the country  
rolling hills and beautiful rivers run by  
and no cities are near me  
only factories and mills  
We have our small thrills  
Parties on occasion  
Was never into those  
the silly cows in their farms  
Mostly people keep out of my way  
We watch them pass us by every day  
On their way somewhere- for no reason in particular  
This is life  
Sometimes we say hello  
Sometimes they say goodbye  
I wonder why  
I wonder if I will ever get out of here alive  
I used to live in the city when I was little  
I found it to be different then here  
longing for fresher air, the windy feilds  
Being out of sight of all the kids I had grown to fear  
It wasn't as quiet, but there was a lot to do  
People would shout at me for being white  
In a city that was black and blue  
Now I live in a town where crime is rare  
But I long to move back to the city  
Sometimes I wonder if I am missing out  
On all there is to know  
But as I sit here in this beautiful garden  
I have a love for the earth  
And I can still watch her grow

Out-Cast

on July 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

you don't understand

there is nothing to say

Bibles don't save me anymore

I have too many Bibles

And I don't read them at all

His father is religious

His mother is dying

You don't understand

I am dying to kill someone

I just want to put the knife in

Someone's skin

Do I care anymore?

I am not your role model now

I can't help it, this therapy

And it's making me scream

I want to leave this place

Insomnia is getting me crazy

You want something else

You want something else

You got nothing

You got nothing

But me.

Losing Us

on July 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You are not here  
But you are not here

But you are

Still with me in my arms

I fill you close to me

You are gone

I wonder why I lose myself

In your selflessness

I can't seem to grasp this

Gripping you tightly

You find yourself losing it

Dark roses, empty eyes

Black cats and grim disguises

Drowning in the darkness

Nothing is alright

Hold me tight

We will escape

One kiss and we can

Wrap the baby in his blanket

Loved Once

on July 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I loved you one day, when the rain

wasn't falling so fast

and you had much to say  
But it just would not last

I loved the things they said to me

Before you passed away

I loved you one day, when the rain

Made the clouds jealous and grey

I know you misss me

I know you're gonna miss me

Sour

on July 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

yellow teeth, alcohol tears

coffee and his bad breath

the milky white eyes that are

sorrow laden by heroin

and spilled mustard seeds

the tiniest infractions

behind cell bars they scream

for more yellow dreams

of blue balloons

the sunshine and the brilliant moon

downy feathers of the little chicks

who never settled down too quick

they lost their minds, the lemon peels away

layer after layer of the sour things they displayed

Explanations

on July 16. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

let's sleep the bad memories off  
drown out our miseries in rock n roll  
drink tequilas and vodka at sunrise  
On the boardwalk near that cheap hotel  
Don't take the train this time  
We'll just walk alone  
And see the world for what it is  
For what it is  
And it really doesn't need an explanation.

Secret Spells

on July 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

She made herself breakfast that morning  
Sat down at her table like it was a normal day  
A single coffee, a hard boiled egg  
She contemplated her fate and even her history

If her mind imagined the things she said  
She thought she might have said them aloud  
She raised her family with flowers in their hair  
In roses she bled like the sun over Texas, proudly

why did the ghosts have to push her down so often  
Down that long dark road...she was still just like a virgin  
Why did she rise at all? She made herself well in this way  
Pouring white wine down her veins.

Medicated to be smiling on the outside  
While the days just rained in through the roof  
Down the lines of the clouds in her eyes  
The heroin in her body couldn't sustain

Her heart's addiction to this horrible feeling  
And all she did was die again and again  
And all she did was die...  
Every Saturday when it was just the sunshine in her eye

She made herself a cocaine junkie  
Stuck plastic forks into her meat and ate it calmly  
While she wished the truth was truly true  
That it wasn't her emotional love, that was the sacred fuel

Devils guard your secrets well- sh be quiet son don't say it so loud  
Make yourself presentable to the crowd  
To the crimson velvet princess, so pale in her white white skin  
Suicidal......it was hard to tell what slept within her then.

Reflections

on July 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Hiding  
In your sweet embrace  
Tangled by these emotional strings  
Outside this empty place you are straying  
Inside me  
I feel an aching for you  
Your lips are too sweet  
To meet the two  
Those breasts  
Feed a child's hungry wanting  
Outcast  
Wanted

In Hiding  
Buried deep under the moon light  
We don't  
Know when she means so well  
The things she never said  
Might as well be in the shadow  
Of her reflection

Easy

on July 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I would bring you to my summer

And show you who I used to be

Marriage in white candy clouds

Let each other's bodies become free

And create a whole family of a human kind

I'm still a girl's mind.

Gazing Through Stars~*~

on July 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Candle candle burning brightly  
Will you tell her who she is to be tonight?  
Or tomorrow when the lights are mellow  
And the streams so shallow where rivers run so slowly

That you can feel the waters in your mind.

With the flame burning so brightly

She would wish for a man to hold her tightly  
Or embraced in the arms of warm protection... she might get a little closer to the light

Gazing through stars she finds herself flying into fantasies of the perfect American life

Shoulder by shoulder they would follow into grace  
In the glimmer and shimmer of the Angels  
She would be put in her place, it would be alright.

In the gloomy glow she awaits now  
Oh to be like an angel...oh to tangle with his fate..  
Her soul dances in their flaming lips, in the eyes of his

Of the love she has yet to meet  
Her soul screams like a violin, for someone like you  
Souls so fragile, so we shall travel far to be wonderful  
Gazing into the future of us and into the passing moon.

I would love to gaze within that crystal ball  
But this palace is made of sand and sorrow  
And so we all shall fall, all shall fall down  
Red roses grow white, a solemn voice to your mindless bones  
No silver knight's armor could rescue her form daylight  
A lost woman's heart, drowning in red wine and winter snow  
As these nights grow longer piece by piece turned to blue..

Could one special man protect this little hand  
From the love affair of her and this sacred wine?

The hero to Jane who dressed in red and pain  
The long line of all the things she'll never erase from her poisonous want  
Longings for answers to loneliness  
Why does she hear them whispering around her that she is a mess

Don't dare to think, no one says a thing...yes

So she's sleeping in blankets and disappearing with every drink  
She downs the bottle, as you state a potential...to love what she meant more...

For some heroic rescue, a mission to end the war  
Of the girl so desolate...of a girl on a mission to be cured.

Smiling Decay

on July 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Her memory is fading as she is gazing out over the dark green sea  
With words mouthed between crippled lips, she kisses the sky

From you to the woman she used to be

An ageless angel

with each wrinkle as a memory--  
Of the apples that are still ripe on the apple tree  
Of the hand that had once touched her so delicately

Of the hands which became the arms of a man who loved her  
Most passionately, wrapped around her in each caress

All too forgotten now you see...he could feel the smoothness of her thighs  
And the being she meant to him in a time that was  
So different than is today.

When she was just a young woman in his eyes  
Her emotions would pour out like a cold liquid spring...  
When she could recognize your voice or hear a song~  
I love you my girl, he would whisper into her ear

So she yawns, then she cries a precious tear  
For the morning comes and no one is ever there

Where have all the flowers gone?

Where is he, no one shall ever know...was he ever there at all?

How she yearns to remember you.. oh how she wants to remember it all

She'll be crying for her lost son--in the fields of crimson poppies bleeding  
One by one they all faded away, now postcards sent to heaven

What happened to the family she raised from the dust of the depression

Grandmother cries for she is dying...  
Far off in the distance, her little girls are sleeping  
collecting rainbow gems glittering in between the streets  
For these hearts that lovers had entwined  
which never yearned for more than the simplicity of their minds  
of Autumn leaves, a darkness totally cool and free

Blossoms in their happy youth...tomorrow we shall speak  
Of something new something we never talked about

Of White and Black roses and a cross too holy

As the neighbors eye us coldly  
In thorny vines wrapped around her so tightly  
Which tell the tales of bittersweet tragedies  
What ages remember they can never say...  
What dreams are ragged demons in straight jackets

What ghosts of dreams become lost fragments

I take grandma for a walk down the valley  
And she sees the poppies as they bloom  
Oh if we were more than memories

And the time is coming---

And the world didn't have to end in this sort of doom~~

Oh how she drank this bittersweet wine  
As she laid her self sinking down into that comfortable bed  
No longer caring for the people who loved her  
Three white pills and then laid down her head  
Vodka and what the good lord said To never let go, but yet she let go of us and then  
She let go, she let go...goodbye my friends.

Can she remember me? What is a memory? Oh mother can it be?  
I am nothing but child's chorus and a sad soulful melody...I am writing you a letter  
That you might read....when the world begins to sway  
When the world decides to stay  
for tea and bread, for a reason to believe in eternity.

Little girl Little girl of mine what do you see?  
Little girl little girl, wish you were mine

Through the window a sudden breeze blows  
And awakens the music of her soul to dance without limbs  
Without these silly thoughts stolen by clowns and demons  
She once spoke of dementia, she had spoken of soundless screaming  
Instruments of meaning  
Oh to have something left of me.

The gown of white, cloaked her form  
As she passed through the stony graveyard the morning  
A memory filled her nostrils with the scent of ripe orange blossoms  
A memory of a life lived once before it all started to rot away  
Who had ever existed then but the smile of her beautiful decay?

And the moon simply smiled  
As the memory died  
And the moon simply cried herself to sleep  
At the role she had to play

For all through her life she smiled  
For all through her life she smiled through decay...

The Four Seasons

on July 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

There are weeping doves in her garden this Spring  
April sings of Poppies and Roses  
As the sky searches with a blue eyed innocence  
For the one who knows what everyone knows

As many dragonflies soar over my head  
I swim nakedly in the pond by the hill  
I will forget all the worries of growing up or dying, and learn to be still  
Before the winds change everything to red

There are all these leaves that have fallen from grace  
In the whispering season of the Fall time  
Bright flowers curl up along the walls

As the sunshine slips away into a softer glow

So many dreams and stories to tell  
To the polar bears and the blue-jays oh well  
As the seasons drift farther and farther away  
From the world that we used to know...every single day.

Name that Name....

on July 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Running out of air  
what is going on in there?  
Nothing is there  
Nothing is there  
Some creative burst  
A rainbow of colors explode within  
She scatters her glittering words  
And spills her emotion  
Yet the pale faces laugh  
And their masks all fade away  
This is the lonely game of who  
Gets to name that name today

Blessed to be Wretched

on July 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

These honest blessing

Of the soul  
of such a joyous occasion

and honesty feels a little too coy

I am lacking self-control  
Wrapped in white muslin

The sachet of dreams

Incense of myrrh  
For the all the holiest Kings  
The only holy  
The only one  
These clothes are fitted like a dress

For the Priest and his only son  
Oh to be a pretty girl's fascination  
His chest heaving so fast  
As the chariot flies them away  
The sacrifice to God

The sacrifice of my own religion

Leading me so far astray

Let the waters be gathered

Let the dry land appear

And all the demons and dangers

Make all these possessions become

Afraid to breathe

The ignorance of the apple seed

I cannot understand your love

Your love of me

A marriage of two

Who do not know

How to be marry  
The only son we ever had known  
He rose and rose then bled red roses  
again he bled red roses  
as he rose again to who knows where

Where had he gone  
With obscure blessings

Written upon the Asylum walls  
Wrapped in his heavenly white muslin  
I pretended to believe

Am I really hearing at all

The chorus of Angels

Or the sacred cow  
In the Church of saved  
I watched from my world beneath the graves  
Blessed the sacrament so proudly

But I gave it in so loudly

I am a failure

I cannot believe, my soul shall be free  
it seemed to have made me a slave  
But is it not a lie, am I not brave?

To deny the Lord as my King

Do I know or believe in anyone or anything  
Who is going to live  
Forever and ever  
Forever and ever

Amen  
I cannot remember  
Why I was brought here

To the church of my father

And when...

Hatch

on July 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

This woman was bled dry  
for who she was meant to be  
In a hatched egg she cried

Her one body  
"Then he raped me  
and nobody could say why"

Stars of Difference

on July 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

You found me  
In between the sadness and then I found your little key  
Was right there before me...  
Dangling by a string on a door to a path  
To the sea as my mother washed my  
sadness away...and so I tried and tried but I got tired of faith  
And so he cried a thousand tears  
That fell through gentle clouds  
Fiercely and angrily he shouted a single curse  
To all those who used such powerlessness...for worse  
They tried to keep it bound to me  
tried to make a sound out of me  
But I held still, I held it all together  
The anger made me stronger...  
Instead you untied the binds on my soul  
When I finally lost all control  
Why I had said "No" to the place  
I had grown to know so so well  
Why did I not go in there for so long?  
The mountain was not too high of a climb  
The tower stood ready to fall all along...  
And so I wrote you my bitter prayer after all  
had gone away.

Dear You,  
I hope you know  
That I will pray  
That He, our father and our son  
And body and soul  
Will never let you go  
On heaven nor on earth.

I give you all my being  
That you shall know the truth  
And see beyond your seeing  
To reach the final notion of love.

Dear you, here is my devotion  
That you shall know love as a human being  
And God as the presence and union  
Of all people, One, and more  
Than a million stars  
This land is your land  
This land is ours  
And the people are the future.

Bright Wings of Faith

on July 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Angels were seated before the the eternal  
clothed in robes as their hands were folded in praising for  
the one who had risen for us in Heaven  
And they beheld a great feast with bread unleavened  
As ne'er were those Angels dead  
for ne'er had they feared death over him.

The Great Prince of Justice rode his stallion over earth  
the skies parted and we all rose to celebrate birth  
as their wings fluttered, they stood up and sang a song  
they called the sun to rise up with never ending light  
of forgiveness for all that was wrong.

Astonished were the people who were still behind the mountainside  
as seasons passed over the horizon with jewels that fell from the sky  
when the next sun arrived from another world that had never been seen  
A galaxy far beyond here, with the King was his Queen...

So we shall become pure and free, to shake hands with eternity  
When in doubt pray to the Angel of Peace  
Self-sacrifice is the choice you can choose to make...  
You can take his hand, and your hand he will always take-  
for he loves you entirely

And if you are in need, your body so sore and eyes full of worry  
The Angels shall come down, with their wings of Glory  
For no human's heart would be suffering if they had their way  
The Angels in the heavens with their bright wings of faith.

Through the Looking Glass

on July 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Many seek out an understanding

To fill the void that life is demanding

Needing for an explanation

To all purpose on this one planet;

Living in debt... wondering about

The meanings of progress,

For death and heaven

Seem the only escape

Sometimes we have faltered

And the heavenly stars

They seem just too brilliant

As with a hand we reach out

Yet, so far from our earth at a pause

And they say nothing to us

When we are in doubt...in misery

Always, speaking to us in riddles:

Who is there throughout?

What is this place all about?

Are my Ancestors watching from on high

Or are all of them a myth?

Are we a Scientific Puzzle or an evolutionary mess?

The speakers of a material world so complex, so overlooked

The Apocalypse is coming

All can read it in the book, yet

The answers remain as memories and glimpses

Of a fragmented dimension...

What we need now is something more than History

A growth spurt of love and peace...a New Revolution

An insightful explanation

The ressurection of Christ-Consciousness

The Consciousness of heaven

After we die, without form

We become spirits at rest

Floating on and on

through the devices we project

and divisions

We look for some correction

To this...mistake we feel we have become

A world without a revelation

A ghost preserved but with no destination...

As we journey on earth, we take with us

The shadows of our deeds

Like clothes upon our backs

And who will give us slack

Who will remind us

There is more to this

There really was a purpose.

Who can take our source back?

And Who are we to judge those whe ask

Who are we to say we know

Are we the messengers

After all?

Or are we seeking another Christ?

Must we all go without finding the answers

To why we love and hate each other

Oh, the world is so confused

And some of us

yearn for the reasons

And then find one

To kill our brothers and sisters.  
Some of us are scared..

we are all awaiting

yet are we truly prepared?

the source of our suffering

The reason we are here...

Or just a foundation

To persevere.

Everyone has a purpose

As the planet evolves

We evolve with the seasons

the resolves

As Earth revolves around the sun

Are we at the end of the all that is human

Perhaps we have just begun?

I chose my path and it chose me

my spirit knows who I am

You should question everything

Even in the place where you dwell...

Those in power need to seek progress

Those supposedly good should forgive

And listen to the spirit

The spirit of life.

Dreams speak to me

and through these songs and visions

I participate in a dance

In time, for time is movement

We we all have our chance.

There will be a symbol of our life: True Enlightenment

No longer an abandonment of Justice.

Looking through the looking Glass

We continue to observe

A world that is changing

And a planet moving towards reincarnation

Towards peace

Towards true reward.

Find Me a Height

on July 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Find me a height  
That I can reach  
As humanity seems tonight  
To be resting upon a beach

While I continue to climb  
Answers falling through sky

Flowing through the light  
Find me a height  
Find me a height

Where ice cold glimmers

Alike as snow shimmers

I shall find success

Rewarding my progress

Find me a height

I want to climb it forever

And then I shall fight

So find me a height

So that I may endeavor~

Woman

on July 25. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I will deflower you  
Show you my inner beast  
As I scratch you with my talons  
As unidentified as your grip  
Upon the rope, slipping slower lower  
Until you let yourself slip  
Sit down and have a drink  
Pull down your eyelids  
Over the very thing that reminds us  
Of your dancing hips  
I kiss you so dramatically  
It stamps deliriously in defiance  
To the things you bleed  
Ironically I know the difference  
Is that you are a pig  
And I am a woman, and I know  
That I don't have to beg  
To call you to my bed  
That's just what a lady does  
A woman doesn't, she just nods  
Her head...so screw you  
First-hand-man  
I know myself and you don't see  
The things that I can do.

The Race

on July 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Last night I had a dream  
That this town was covered in a thick white snow  
It was a surprise to see this in July  
All the children both amazed and fearful  
I drove my car down this sullen road  
Into the darkness and yet  
I knew I would make it through the night  
And found my destination where I was met  
I remember that there was a race  
I followed in second place  
It was to a beach I found out later  
As I ran through dangers  
And childhood to adult-hood after  
There was a concert in a bar  
A famous band was playing for a small crowd  
And outside  
The sea had flooded the entire beach  
And was continuing to flood it more  
And I saw the girl who was first place  
Who told me that the race was a joke  
And we went  
back into the the bar to eat together.

Goodbye

on July 30. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Goodbye lightning bug, fly away now  
Find the journey through bright clouds  
And light the path to his face  
Goodbye....

Sleep inside a cell  
Lift the latch  
Capture shadows in your hand  
And misbehave

Goodbye little fly, fly fly away  
Into the dark abyss  
Where we know the truth can stay  
Can say

Goodbye....

Third World Revolution

on August 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Third World Revolution  
article type poem  
By Gabrielle

" Revolution is not a dinner party, nor an essay, nor a painting, nor a piece of embroidery; it cannot be advanced softly, gradually, carefully, considerately, respectfully, politely, plainly, and modestly. A revolution is an insurrection, an act of violence by which one class overthrows another. "

— Mao Zedong  
3rd World Revolution

Poet, am I?

on August 5. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am a growing girl with a winter world  
Child of morning star in a (dark hood)  
Childhood would: the fascinations of a mother's heart  
a red guitar left stretching, while worlds drift apart  
Swinging on her right shoulder  
womanhood and get older  
To flower bolder, brighter, hold her...sacrifice a pleasent share  
I am a talking head to the dog or the sparrow  
Speaking riddles to a rhyme, consulting my yarrows

I picnic on the sea shore, with a sack of ragamuffins  
nothing means nothing-still my absolute crime is peasentry

For not all love my poems, they speak of woe and wild

I am a growing girl in a winter world

Inside I am but still a child, inspecting the wounds

On my arms and my legs, deprived of the things

You'd rather not say.  
I remember poets like Poe, and Plath in a soothing bath  
Of blood red posies. The poets with their noses held high  
Neither here nor there to me and I.  
No one listens to the singing sound of the crazy guy.  
Straightened out like a silver line  
I weave my golden threads to turn these straw fields into gold  
"To-day do I bake, to-morrow I brew,  
The day after that the queen's child comes in;  
And oh! I am glad that nobody knew  
That the name I am called is Rumpelstiltskin!"

I am fishing for reasons in my pond of sorrow

Creating relics for here-after- or tomorrow

But it could not be saved, no ears to hear me

And so I simply wait for the applause I want dearly.

Dear Moon

on August 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Dear Moon,

By the light we spread our arms  
And congratulate her sweeping waters  
four thousands lover's spring  
songs of birds humming secret flowers  
believe in me, my prince,  
Her king  
Dear moon, my beloved star  
Of the storm that bellows mercy

Mona smiles, as she grants you  
A view that springs forth a new revolutionary  
soon we all shall see  
The heaven's pull the waves deep deep below  
Under sadness' core we can half grow  
Into seaweed promises

Your glow, oh how you show  
Me mona, you know, I love your glow  
Face so serene, simply pure  
And if I were anyone else I'd be  
the moon's lover

Dear God

on August 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Dear God,

How do you feel in your temple of stone?  
With your body flung through the barrels of each man-made gun  
Testing the veins with their needles, You're the sideshow again  
And my demons cannot say what they mean in the end.

Call me a sinner, I know I'm forgiven...  
Just wait for me there, in your cloud where you're livin'  
don't teach me the truth about heaven and hell  
Remember me, I am Gabrielle.

You want me to bow down, commit my acts of sin  
You want me to test your bread and wine and then I go to heaven  
Damn it GOD! What do you think you have me going through  
Because I am the lost lamb, and this is all for you.

I know you feel like you're evil when you reflect all you see  
My GOD, don't you know you are not my enemy!  
I love the father, the son, and the holy spirit- I'll drink him in  
My God, I wish you understood, there was never a brotherhood of men~

God, I am a virgin girl~ I sit alone and watch the sky's chemical display  
The walls swirling around me, I am a swan for the day  
I hate my skin, yellow flesh and beautiful blood gone blue  
I think you know what I'm getting at...Dear God, I still love you.

The Pagan Path

on August 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Today I have woken, and as I rise from my bed  
Clear the sleepiness from my head,  
I walk outside where the shadows sing of death  
And er the morning, early beings reside beneath  
To walk the pagan path is to sing a dark song  
To dance the pagan dance is sweeter than anyone  
Her beautiful face is not haunting to me  
But light brings me peace, her enchanted springs--poetry  
Though the demons and darkness remind me of the past  
Pan takes me far into his home at last  
The Lady of the Forest speaks through the bird's songs  
We are creatures, we were not just humans-- that's wrong  
Waiting for worlds between worlds we sleep  
For the full moon is yellow and is calling me to the deep  
The palace of Jesters, to the kingdom of peace  
In the world we have forgotten, the old ways of the trees  
of our ancestors who remember how we came to be

Slipping

on August 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Shy light comes in  
For nightly, a girl hides her skin  
Only to slip  
Between the open cracks  
Into a place where she can never come back

Depression

on August 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I used to run everywhere  
Up and down the sidewalks with flowers  
Flowers in my hair, gum on my tongue  
Streaming little thoughts every which way I went.

I tried to count the digits on the clock  
Or stars up over the silicon street  
Where rooftops beat like my skipping heart  
Which almost skipped a beat.

I used to feel like I was powerful  
Then powerless  
I had all the manpower to rule the world and then some  
I could re-wire the robots In their sleep I guess  
Wait until the alarm clock rang,  
And sure I wasn't scared of peace.

I'll remind you,  
That I am not self-proclaimed  
This sort of affliction  
Still reminds me of what remains.

I could sell you a bible  
You'd never understand  
What makes me different  
From every stupid "Man"  
You want to remind me  
Try to condition these things  
But hi, hun you will forget me  
Under this yellow sun  
Depression, I am.

Yesterday:::

on August 21. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Headaches & hangovers  
Yesterday::: I wept  
The dawn cut her edge on my hips  
Then she hung her neck where I slept.

Throwing up your remains  
/The scars itched/ I wanted to bleed again  
But the gut could be trained  
Yesterday::: I waited to remain sane.

Heading down the spiraling road  
The island is swarming with lizards  
And you don't even want to know  
All the things I haven't said to you.

Headaches & hangovers  
Three bottles of wine poured  
A capsule of dreams and screams  
One picket fence & the line] All were ignored:::

Vanishing Point

on August 22. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

It is a good time to get into a new state of mind  
Gaze into the mirror, and don't fear the unknown  
Find a comfortable place and just try to unwind  
Leave all your accessories & luxuries behind you  
You will want to be loose so have 15 minutes at least of time set aside  
Give a chance for the fates, to prove that there's life after life  
With altered states of awareness, in the light where you gaze  
During twilight of the day, with a candle ablaze  
Often-times it can enlighten us to feel through our  
Mirrors--mirrors that show reflections of the self as we appear  
meanings can play upon the glass as we gaze in  
Through the mirror you can see a face so distinguishing that  
Shows you as they are willing to appear if we let them  
Maybe this time it will be someone else you know and meet him.

Great Eagle

on August 27. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The great winged eagle, justice and her gifts  
Soars through the white steaming clouds  
Whispering secrets of hidden fellows  
Watching over the bright flag waving  
Waving in many different colors  
I remember dreaming of the shore  
Of a jungle and the air, or Moscow and Elanore  
Of the great winged bird, The eagle who soared  
Who outsmarted those who knew her:: for  
She rang out like peace, but was more pronounced  
And dissolved quietly under a remorseful bloom  
Then nothing but your petty bow could tie  
That perfect gift upon the ribbon.

Climb

on August 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

With the slow and steady  
sound of the hooves on the streets  
Across the sky's upturned ground  
She will be hanging loosely  
Without a need for feet.

down over the ceiling where  
I was found...churning around  
a machine  
Here we can feel less free  
Flowers in Urns burning  
burning brightly  
clowns shall hail  
to the creator of  
Heaven  
in a mechanical world of God  
Of machines

Of haunted things  
sticks and stones break no bones...  
race for the last scrap  
and show no shadows  
we're closing our windows  
to the sleeping vessels  
who cannot slay the beast  
And the vaporous moon  
Is silently weeping for the light  
Like the single red oak  
tree  
where mountainside screams  
it bloomed, quaking for a song to sing  
the horse raced the stars all night long  
alone we shall have climbed a road to home  
the rock and then heavens  
when this world was once  
Kind of like a climb  
and you could get to the top and look around

Hypocrite

on August 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

With the slow and steady sound  
of hooves upon the cobblestone  
Making swift entrances across  
The barren pines and hillsides sleep  
all along the sky's upturned frown

She will be hanging loosely-- no longer proud  
Without a need for feet to rest upon the ground  
Beneath the ceiling where she was found  
Here we can feel less of what is real  
Flowers in baskets are burning they are  
burning brightly and yearning for feelings  
traveling to bring them sleep  
to the creator of heaven  
This mechanical world of God and Machines  
Oh man of residence.

These haunted things when  
sticks and stones break no bones  
race for the last scrap  
and show no shadows and  
we're closing our windows  
to beautiful nightmares  
who cannot slay the beast  
And the vaporous moon  
Is silent weeping for the light  
Like the single red oak tree  
where mountainside screams  
it bloomed for thee

She's quaking for a song to sing  
the horse races the stars all night long  
alone we shall have climbed  
a road to home  
the rock and then heavens  
when this world was once  
Kind of like a climb  
and you could get to the top and look around

Majestic Tiger

on August 29. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The magical Owl, gracefully swoops over the prairie  
Hooting a greeting, to all the fair ladies  
As the busy bees make golden honey dreams  
And the elephants dance, in the sunbeams  
The frog makes a leap, and giant tiger just prowls  
Letting all the other animals know, she's in charge of them all.

White Out

on September 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The world is sliding far down,  
Off the tongue of this preverbial mess,  
I can glance upon this wishful moonbeam,  
And then stifle a yelp, as I twist upon the pillow,  
One more ribbon tied around me,  
And I am perfumed and happy to be seen.

The lights go dim, I blink hysterically  
No one understands what kind of state I'm in.

She's Gone

on September 8. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The girl who you loved  
Is not the girl you knew  
She lost her identity  
She was swallowed by the blue  
All this psychology  
Is the difference she'd like to make  
The angst and the hunger  
Is there more that she could take  
The girl who you loved  
Is running from them all  
Running from the ghosts  
Ready for the fall  
Does anyone miss her  
No one seems to care  
She has been gone for so long  
There's no body there  
She is a ghost of a girl  
Who was once a beautiful dream  
And you know she can't make it  
Because she's tired of believing  
She believed in you  
And she believed in me  
Now she's gone  
She's just another history  
She's your history

Lightning

on September 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am upsetting the wind  
With my strokes dancing upon paper  
She blows my skirt all over the continent  
And through the stormy seas  
As she signs her golden name  
Across her saffron sky

As the day fades from my eyes  
When you run through the rain  
Be aware of the lightning bolt  
Surging through your fingers  
And altogether too hot to touch  
But one moment and you are lost  
Fragemented in the lit esteem  
Sweet little zigzags

mark angelic territory of the host

The Poem

on September 10. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Genreless, stoic, heroic, and free  
Happy, rhymed, stylized, demonized, symbolic  
Tired, expired, worthless and wasted  
The time ticks away as she types  
The gripes, complains, cripes, the pains  
Emptied, valueless, enflamed and packed  
Nonetheless, nonsensical, radical at that  
Pointed to pointless, wonderful, horrible  
Too self-realized, silly, memorized too  
Stylized, abbreviated, appreciated, and  
Wrong, warring, storing, song-like, boring  
Ignored, insured, overboard, full of words.

Depressed

on September 13. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I don't know you, nor do I love you  
But you still stare at me with those beautiful eyes  
Wondering about who I am inside  
And I know it's alright that you live on the edge  
Because I wasn't made of nails, I was made to bend.

I am still afraid to wash my hair  
And climb in the backseat with a perfect stranger  
But no one knows you as well as I could  
No matter how hard, at least you're still good,  
And maybe someday I won't be happy to die  
And I try and I try and I try and I try

Phantoms

on September 14. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The monster slowly steps through barred windows  
Enters a pale lit room with a young virgin asleep  
The visitor plucks a rose from her vase  
And quietly stretches his large bat-like wings.

When Dianne awakens from her sweet deep sleep  
She is face to face with this dark handsome man  
In a dark cape and with glistening white locks  
She knows that this is her phantom lover at last.

He strides over and touches her silken thighs  
And runs his tongue over her cherry red lips  
Inviting the wickedest scent, arousing her fast  
They make the sweetest love, tempation at its best.

When at last the strange man devours her body and soul  
She is left among the wrinkled sheets as the bedsprings creak  
She has left this wicked world behind her  
Restlessly, the vampire looks for his next guest.

Sensuality

on September 15. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

These smooth brush strokes of milk white  
are placed upon the dark dismal wood  
The silver sheen of her refracts  
In one moment the world is dizzy  
Then she sways, her eyes come to light  
The pink satin of her skirt crinkles  
I pose her in the shadow of my naked room  
She is fleeing, these ribbon shapes  
From the start to the end she is captured  
as she captivates my whole; my restless mind &  
I am man, I am woman, I am all of them at once  
As the paint drips down onto her like tears  
As she presses her imaginary face to the window  
Could these strokes of pain, of paint  
Change things, make the world glow?  
So distanced she sees an unhappy soul  
Contemplating the art of happiness  
Swift movements become drunken smears  
There she sleeps as I pass out again  
Sleeping on the porch under a dying moon  
And there I am, a painter, success...  
The art of making the cartoon speak  
Somehow I feel maybe, this was the reason  
that I choose to be a real artist.

Faded Hearts

on September 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The bright light of all that you know, knew  
and it does nothing...but pile high with snow  
and if the sky doesn't rain, if the world doesn't sink  
I will swim, nothing will keep me from giving in.

When the fears you have can turn to dust  
And the dreams you had become someone I trust in  
Then we will laugh, we will sing, will smile and  
The world will make sense again.

If you want to find a friend, I'll be a friend  
Because being hopeless is an end to an end  
When, you say that love is forever I understand  
Because no one goes through his hands as sand.

If you want to bring me up, don't worry about it  
If I want to die, I will crash and burn and you will light up the sky  
With your smile, and we will be together after all  
Because my failures don't matter, it's the end result.

In the end, it is only the truth that matters  
And the truth is I love you, and you belonged to me once  
But the sky turned grey, everyone went away and there's  
Just not enough room in my life for there to be two.

In this world there's just too few, and everyone is loved  
But no one loves me, not in this place anymore  
I know I am a fool, a fool for falling for nasty games  
And someone else will fill in the missing place.

If you want romance, I might try and give you this last dance  
In the morning everyone will smile, and the world will look small at last, as we drive into the sun, and leave you with the remains  
Of a girl who had fun...me in the window looking down, wondering how far until I hit the ground.

Of wasted hearts and shattered love,  
Of fake laughter and gunshots in the silver night  
Jane Doe's and delinguents  
Of destructive hearts and regressive tendancies.

Breed

on September 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

the darkness needs  
cold lips to the ground  
have you been found  
grounded, and it sounds  
loud in the  
shade where we sleep  
where we breed  
as we creep down  
through the grey waters  
run down my hands  
slip through my hands  
slide in, serpent man  
who hypnotized me  
a child, a little girl on a beach  
Shed the real, make me feel  
son of mine, can you be Divine?  
Can you make a creature out of me  
Turn darkness into sand  
Free and feeling

Shutters

on September 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Hold still, and shut your eyes  
The world is yet waiting for its lovely hoorays  
Shut the door, cut out the light  
Go to sleep, don't say goodbye  
Shut your eyes, shut your eyes  
Shut the sky, the night, the light  
The lullabies and all of your goodnight  
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight  
Hold still and shut your eyes  
Say good good bye tonight  
Farewell and hello and hold on silently  
Silent silently silently alright  
hold still and shut your eyes and scream  
Wish it away and wish it away and scream  
And wish it all wash it down and dream  
Make it up and teach me how to live  
love and lift me up and scream and dream  
drift away drift away and remember me....

Speak

on September 26. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The sweet in the soul seems to have gone sour  
The curves of your body reflect a dismal light of a kind  
I can't seem to frown, or smile, I am a child...I am a child  
or someone I don't know for it seems because this has gone wrong  
something I did, someone I have hurt is dying  
As I purse my lips in the shadows and the monster groans  
The monster is leafing through my files...  
and everyone is repeating their last words  
I have been drifting through this melancholy melody  
The song on the radio carries no emotion for me  
I like the dark, they betray me and I run through it all a blind man  
I have to get away, get by, can't live like this I am...  
In a crackhouse on the edge of the pen and your fingertips  
Nothing is playing on the television  
Everything is empty, everyone is gone and I don't know how to  
speak.

Black Gates

on September 28. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

At the masquerade ball they are whispering  
Through the Mansion halls they are plodding  
Turn the page of this enchanted diary  
Read about these stories of mystery

One man, he was a solitary and now he's a prince  
In my ivory chalice awaits his last drink  
I am the watcher, who enchants them to come  
And they turn to the darkness, one by one...

In this dark place, loneliness is hailed queen  
fair maiden of silent winds, fair madame  
I cast a spell on all who dare defile my wake  
And smile a crooked smile at their demonic fates

In this cemetery we dance, gather round ghouls  
And celebrate the dismal pain lurking in your haunted souls  
In this dark palace, in this chamber we await  
A sweet heart full of rapture, we never hesitate

Fall

on October 11. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The leaves are falling,  
and time stands still  
as the people listen  
to the smoke in the air  
As bombs fly across buildings  
the wind in the trees,  
As in another country  
They are down on their knees  
The wind is still the same  
And the sky glistens  
With tears of these things  
The tiny drops of rain  
A well of loss...slain.

do you remember the leaf  
That fell from grace?

Slavery

on October 13. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am worried  
as everything dissapears  
where is the safe place  
I wonder  
I wander  
But always there is another man  
Darker than my own hands! The hands  
Of the coldest sands.

One man, he's  
Down and everyone is scrambling  
for their own  
As they soldier ondistantly yet still gone

no hope for anyone  
the sound of silence is one  
and no one seems to know  
how old the rivers go

everyone just shows  
how cold they can be.

The Morning-Time

on October 19. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

The whimsical feel of her form  
Wraps around the darkness  
The cool lacy touch of her soul  
Sings with an ache of know and understanding  
Do the birds listen? Does the sky hear?  
Can the world pause for a moment?  
The light in the eyes of a God,  
Smiles down upon the suffrage wind  
The lingering smell of quietness  
And self sorry struggling to get bye  
In the empty desolate room where  
There isn't a sense of anything  
The light sleeps, the haze groans  
Everyone just passes through the mist  
No one sees the darkness, no one feels the shape  
Of her form gliding through the passage  
Strumming this fragrant guitar of colors  
The last tune, the last moon  
The loneliness of feeling abandoned  
Not selfish, not sure, not even before  
Just the same person you were  
And never there, not once ever you stared

Smells like Gone

on October 20. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Notes come bounding off the walls  
Like abscencies  
The guitar strings woeful hymns  
Of the past, before you made me cry  
The sun in the ocean  
The darkness, hating you tonight  
The dark, cold limbs against the sky  
The night, whispering secrets  
Notes come sleeping off the curtains  
Sheets of glass melt into snow  
You hate the way the glimmer shimmers  
No one ever has to know  
This is the worst day of my life  
The world is nothing, I am empty has been  
And when you drink, I touch my lips  
Cold blood is like wine, poison  
The worst day, is when you loved nothing  
And nothing sleeps with the rain  
And everyone hates the way you smear  
The leftover window pane  
Remnents of your musical smile

x~Solitary~x

on October 23. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

even in the light  
darkness covers all

I watched the shadows grow pale  
lingered in the corner with my hand  
pressed upon the wall

tracing etches of long ago  
words that meant  
something

follow your heart  
the wind will carry through the trees  
speak with your soul, dear, and you will see  
despite the cold, chill, in the early hour

The hills know, dear, and they will give you power  
but do not tread lightly where  
the doors creak, the world waits

you must find  
you must find  
seal your fate

Puppy Love

on October 24. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

So sweet and gentle  
bouncy and happy  
My goodness I know  
It must be a puppy

The more time you spend  
With your precious pet  
The happier you and  
He or she will get

Smiles and treats  
Pitter patter of paws  
taking care of animals  
Is always a good cause

Black Eye

on October 31. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

time will no longer take  
each hour shall tear no more  
across a leddened sky  
through the town of Elder Moore  
The grossly mishappen form  
of each sinister door  
shall open once again as the veil  
Is thinned and then  
When he world she knows, spins  
like a web wavering in the wind  
this silly shrowd of crisp air  
Will toss their eyes, who do not care  
Raging, plaguing, obeying, swaying  
In the hollow world with dark lost eyes  
This is the strangest paradise  
Miserable mysteries that never die  
That are lost to the naked eye

My crime

on November 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I don't know where I belong  
I try to find that piece, it's always a sad song  
I look around, no one is home  
There are too many faces that pass us by  
And I try, but no one knows me  
they criticize, they analyze my mind  
I try not to hide that I'm afraid to know  
what's the truth? They ask and ask me  
And all I can do is say it's not so  
There's not one sentence that makes sense now  
everyone can come to their own defense  
but who makes the choices I can't make  
When the heart I have is about to break  
I fought the tears, I fought the lies  
They took the things away that made me mine  
And no one who knows me, knows me  
And no one who loves me, loves me  
And when the world is ending and when the sun is shining  
I'll be here with the man that doesn't know why  
this is my sentence, it has no pretense  
I just serve my time, and I don't know how to rhyme  
I just want to figure out why I'm out of time  
when everywhere I go there's no room for love, the crime

Secret Garden

on November 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

the darkness  
absorbs the light  
with a touch of moonshine  
and the world whispers waiting  
through the dusky corners  
of the melancholy world  
the meaning of light-life  
It is clear as crystals  
I am not a witch, but I listen  
To the birds in the afternoon sun  
To the beauty of every tree branch  
Stretching her arms out to me  
in the solitude I have chosen  
In the blank gates that open before me  
In my secret garden is where  
I am the sage, the queen.

Soulless

on November 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Dear Man, what troubles have these bright stars shown  
With one lover in torment and this one is still alone?  
Can this prick of the pin strike so feeble a mind  
To leave sorrow of darkness, this sadness behind?

Oh great one, who's dark face is hidden by a cloud  
In the night I feel you crowing in the trees out loud  
Of the spiritless nature of a loveless heart  
Oh crow, would you so pardon me a different part?

When cowards shine in gleaming silver boldly  
I take the sinner's hand, the crow, and behold she!  
And as the stroke of one consumes me whole  
I pause, for love, the burden which consumed my soul.

Defined.

on November 10. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

it splits in two,  
as commercials smile along the wave  
I draw a diamond  
in the sand...but don't behave the way  
the sun in my heart, doesn't believe in darkness  
the power of black  
I'm fenced in between two worlds  
and that one- where the others go  
they don't know  
they don't know...  
I poured out my wine, and stepped into the pines  
pining for silver lining  
nothing is simple  
everyone, everything  
is disapproval, disapproving  
refugee to the masses of god's people  
when will they ever learn  
when will the time burn?  
I want to throw my books into the fire  
Shed my skin and cloud desire  
no one knows how hard I tried  
To stop that flame expire.

Tree of Burden

on November 25. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Oh tree, is your will burnt black? Unlike  
The oak, who still sleeps under wintry gusts  
The moon, precise, cuts the edge of night  
With her jaded fingernail- and her swollen appetite.  
One rosy tip, a glint of color for the people  
Who walk, under thorny snows, who know-  
Walking forwards in the hot rain of desire  
As whispers of melancholy, reckon sadness and fire

Yes, I do love you silence- this gesture of confidence  
Those slow snakes twisting, making their sin  
Like twisted thoughts in my head- again  
Baptized in water, where there were once roots  
Where they turned to rock and bled me a sea  
Of silver silk-worms, all yearning for a destiny-

My heart calls alone, crawls down to the bone  
It eats the pain and cries out- to the sorrowful ones  
Tomorrow, we'll see, springing in the marsh  
The symbol of our riches, the symbol of the war march  
A beautiful black satin tree, of sympathetic hate  
The tree of burden, of destiny, of mankind's fate

Sister Earth

on November 10. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I now have set myself free, upon my crimson bed of flowers  
the noose is laid above my head  
He said, forget me and I will know he's dead  
Father Sky and Sister Moon  
Rest in peace my airy fairy star  
the world speaks with no common tongue  
black and white, I guess it's poison  
I wait for the sun to slip into a white violent dawn  
slow down, cry, and free me of every son  
wicked, perhaps wicked I am not  
but alas, tongue-tied in the trees  
here my body will never be yours...nor turn to rot  
In the dusty hours, the has been, the have nots

My crime

on November 2. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I don't know where I belong  
I try to find that piece, it's always a sad song  
I look around, no one is home  
There are too many faces that pass us by  
And I try, but no one knows me  
they criticize, they analyze my mind  
I try not to hide that I'm afraid to know  
what's the truth? They ask and ask me  
And all I can do is say it's not so  
There's not one sentence that makes sense now  
everyone can come to their own defense  
but who makes the choices I can't make  
When the heart I have is about to break  
I fought the tears, I fought the lies  
They took the things away that made me mine  
And no one who knows me, knows me  
And no one who loves me, loves me  
And when the world is ending and when the sun is shining  
I'll be here with the man that doesn't know why  
this is my sentence, it has no pretense  
I just serve my time, and I don't know how to rhyme  
I just want to figure out why I'm out of time  
when everywhere I go there's no room for love, the crime

Secret Garden

on November 7. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

the darkness  
absorbs the light  
with a touch of moonshine  
and the world whispers waiting  
through the dusky corners  
of the melancholy world  
the meaning of light-life  
It is clear as crystals  
I am not a witch, but I listen  
To the birds in the afternoon sun  
To the beauty of every tree branch  
Stretching her arms out to me  
in the solitude I have chosen  
In the blank gates that open before me  
In my secret garden is where  
I am the sage, the queen.

Soulless

on November 9. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Dear Man, what troubles have these bright stars shown  
With one lover in torment and this one is still alone?  
Can this prick of the pin strike so feeble a mind  
To leave sorrow of darkness, this sadness behind?

Oh great one, who's dark face is hidden by a cloud  
In the night I feel you crowing in the trees out loud  
Of the spiritless nature of a loveless heart  
Oh crow, would you so pardon me a different part?

When cowards shine in gleaming silver boldly  
I take the sinner's hand, the crow, and behold she!  
And as the stroke of one consumes me whole  
I pause, for love, the burden which consumed my soul.

Defined.

on November 10. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

it splits in two,  
as commercials smile along the wave  
I draw a diamond  
in the sand...but don't behave the way  
the sun in my heart, doesn't believe in darkness  
the power of black  
I'm fenced in between two worlds  
and that one- where the others go  
they don't know  
they don't know...  
I poured out my wine, and stepped into the pines  
pining for silver lining  
nothing is simple  
everyone, everything  
is dissaproval, dissaproving  
refugee to the masses of god's people  
when will they ever learn  
when will the time burn?  
I want to throw my books into the fire  
Shed my skin and cloud desire  
no one knows how hard I tried  
To stop that flame expire.

Sister Earth

on November 10. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I now have set myself free, upon my crimson bed of flowers  
the noose is laid above my head  
He said, forget me and I will know he's dead  
Father Sky and Sister Moon  
Rest in peace my fairy star  
the world speaks with no common tongue  
black and white, I guess we are.  
I wait for the sun to slip into a violent dawn  
slow down, I cry, and free me of every son

So wicked, and all alone  
alas, so tongue-tied in the trees  
here my body will never be yours...nor turn to rot  
In the dusty hours, they have been and still have not..

Wonders

on November 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

I am not a rogue  
and still I love the way you smile  
And waiting for your ticket  
In this wondering  
I wondered  
What if perhaps...he loved me  
Would it matter what I said  
We said...

Bravery.

on November 17. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

One day...  
One day,  
This soul shall fly my love  
Lifted through life on the wings of a robin  
The sunshine will cry these words

The rain will seem stranger still  
The rose, the man, and the dragon's quill.

Beast will no longer prey  
Child can still safely play  
Among the wildflowers and trees  
Among the busyness of these happy things

One day...  
One day  
The world will learn to say  
I meant to say  
I mean to say  
What were they meaning anyway.

Or missing...

I think they meant that they'd behave  
if more people weren't so brave  
if more people weren't so happy  
If more people were lifted away.

Or missing all those words to say  
When they had meant it anyway.

Yellow Lanterns

on November 18. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

my head is spinning  
the lights are dimming  
it's like,  
well have you ever swallowed an apple core  
to the core, until you were sore  
with horror and for what, what for?  
I wonder, the sun is sleeping  
I dont know why Im slipping slipping  
faster faster my heart is groping  
for the mattress, for the bed  
down I lay me, now my head  
the light is singing  
singing, starkly I wonder can they  
even HEAR me  
but no one's coming  
just the churning burning sensation  
I've been trying to imagine  
what it feels like to feel one  
The taste of salt on your tongue  
the meaning of loving someone  
more than just someone  
more than just someone.

Unseen Forces

on November 22. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

They show someone else's brain  
Iris of blue, believing in truth and pain  
While everyone else is insane  
Unseen forces hidden inside  
the naked eyes that were mine  
the hidden shadows, where we go  
I wear the memories I left behind  
Because no one knows what it means  
To kill the thing that makes you bleed  
The injection, the need.

Her Delicate Romance

on November 25. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

she had always wondered what it would be like to be in love ,  
while clutching him to her breasts she wondered at its meaning ,  
& as the rains fell down below those blanketing clouds,  
he held her heart to his own, exhaling and proud...it was,  
"come on in- you are welcomed here" now he is touching her,  
while those eyes sparkle, brightening with confidence.

She is his...and she's not just some other man's wife,  
her mind in somber red hues, like a leaf after the fog has cleared,  
and fluttering in the crisp autumn breeze,  
for she now believes what she once had feared would never exist,  
leaping up to the sun, they will persist as the world becomes free as  
He says that she is just as delicate as a butterfly  
while to her he whispers,"I love you"  
This is what love means, he says, and then she whispers, "I know you do."

For He had always shared that same silly dream,  
He had always said that love was gentle, love was not just some feeling,  
And when she said it, this time it was all for sure:  
"I love you my dear, you are my world"  
And he answered.."I love you, girl, and I am forever cured."

Sweet Jane

on November 25. © Gabrielle, All rights reserved

Into these, each, our fluttering letters  
that crumble into smoke when she's gone  
walking through tunnels, stone metal & bone

and knowing- this flame brings me hope  
knowing, that the flame brings me up  
Brightens my day, with its mellow company  
as I raise the night in her cloak- she is dry  
dreaming of someone else's shoulder; someone's paradise

while looking over the quietest man  
Hoping he will not die, only cry  
In the open meadows where  
The fearful shudder in their wombs  
Climb the grimacing shadows  
Numbers in everyone's rooms  
Let's make a house out of a home.

Sweet Jane

Sweet Sweet Jane

Mary Magdalene

on December 4, © Gabrielle

In the meadow where gentle rains fall  
Her soul slips slowly to the light  
In a place with no recall.

Her sins that never did appall  
This love that was so right  
In a place with no recall.

Some say she was sinful  
Did she keep her lips locked tight  
Safe behind the wailing wall?

In a blessed land so small  
Her soul came relentlessly to fight  
Those words should they befall.

You can still hear them wail  
To a soul from the depths of night  
In a place that was to fall.

Did the people hear her call?  
With such a raging heart of might

She was banished from them all  
In a place with no recall.

Thanks for reading my book! 

