 
313

Haeven

By: S. M. Bowles

Haeven

Copyright: S. M. Bowles

Published: August 2015

Publisher: S. M. Bowles

The right of S. M. Bowles to be identified as author of this Work has been asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, copied in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise transmitted without written permission from the publisher. You must not circulate this book in any format.

This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

If you have any questions or comments for the author please use the following e-mail address: smbowles.haeven@gmail.com

## Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

## Chapter 1

"One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three...."

I looked up as Evan and his friends darted away then turned back to my book. It was getting dark while I sat on the deck reading. My mother came out to tell me dinner was almost ready and that we needed to come in.

"Yeah, Mom," I shrugged, "as soon as Evan's done his game."

She looked disappointed but didn't bother arguing with me. "Make sure he takes his shoes off and leaves them on the deck. It's very muddy back there," she said as her gaze swept the length of our yard.

I rolled my eyes, "Yep, shoes..." I mumbled and buried my face back in my book.

I had just turned 16 and was about 5 years older than Evan. Because of our difference in ages my mother made it my responsibility to keep him out of trouble whenever she wasn't around. He almost never listened to me though and more often than not refused to do whatever I asked. He rarely got punished for anything either yet I would be held accountable whenever he did something wrong under my pseudo-supervision. Evan and I lived in a perpetual state of resentment. In my mind he was the favorite child, praised and pampered, while I was always being reminded of my short-comings.

Several minutes and a handful of pages passed before my mother came to the deck again. With a voice full of impatience, she stated that dinner was getting cold and asked me where Evan was.

"I don't know," I snapped my book closed. I hadn't seen where he or any of the others had run off to. After pushing myself from my chair I turned to head inside.

"Uh, uh," my mom shook her head at me, "find your brother first."

She reached for my book with one hand and spun me around with the other pointing me toward the stairs that led down to the backyard.

It filled me with defiance and rather than hurrying down I tossed her a resentful glare and called out, "Evan! Dinnertime! Mom wants you inside!"

Satisfied that I had done my duty, I took a stride towards the open doorway. Before I could pass through my dad stepped into my path.

"What's all the yelling?"

"I asked Emily to run down and find Evan. She seemed to think shouting was a good enough alternative," my mother glared at me.

I opened my mouth to challenge her but my dad gently interrupted. "Emily, we have neighbors," his voice was full of disapproval. "It's not polite for you to be calling across the yard like that when you might just as easily have done what your mother asked."

His expression made me feel guilty and I hated disappointing him. I groaned and grumbled, "Fine," then stomped down the deck stairs and began the search for my elusive brother.

"Evan," I called as I walked along the lawn. "Evan...it's time to come in, dinner's ready."

I stopped and listened several times but I didn't hear him or any of his friends either. I checked all his favorite hiding places only to turn up nothing. As I rounded the corner of the house I tried picturing where else he might have run off to. It had gotten almost too dark to see and I took a fateful step that soaked my foot up to my ankle in mud.

"This is stupid!" I growled, roughly shaking it from my shoe. "Evan! Inside! Now!" As I turned full of anger and frustration I glanced down. I noticed that someone had removed a screen to the crawlspace and imagined I knew who. I bent down and ducked my head inside, "Evan, I know you're in there. Come on out now. It's time to eat."

Something moved off to my right.

"Evan?" my voice came out in a whisper. "Evan?"

He didn't answer. It was eerily still and quiet.

"Why am I doing this?!" I stood up intending to leave him and tell my parents where he was so they could deal with him.

I thought I heard him moan as I walked away and it made me second guess my choice. After taking a deep breath, I bent back down, "Evan, are you alright?" I asked and wriggled myself through the window.

Once I was halfway in, I stopped and waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. It was dirty and dusty with cobwebs filling all the corners and junctions of the support beams above my head. Being under the house terrified me and it was all I could do not to bolt away. Even though we never got along, there was a small part of me that worried more for Evan than for myself. I did my best not to let the murkiness get to me and glanced around. I turned myself towards the direction Evan's groan had come from and pulled myself the rest of the way in.

It was too shallow to stand and walk so I got on my hands and knees and crawled. As I inched away from the window he moved again and it gave me a better sense of where I needed to go. I slowly made my way towards him.

"Are you alright?" I strained my ears but he didn't answer. "Evan, what's wrong?" I whispered.

"I just need to rest..."

"Oh, God!" I cried out instantly aware that it wasn't Evan lying in the dirt and dust. I tried screaming and scrambling away but the stranger's voice arrested me in my tracks.

"Ssh...no...please...please don't!" he begged.

He took several short, raspy breaths. It sounded like he was hurt and in a lot of pain. For a moment I forgot all about Evan and how afraid I was. My mind went into a flurry of ideas; there were so many possibilities. He could be anyone, he could be dangerous.

"Even if he is, he's hurt," I thought to myself.

I wanted to do something but I couldn't decide what. I considered getting my parents.

"No!" he insisted, "no one can know I'm here. Don't tell anyone...you mustn't tell anyone!"

His voice had an odd tenor to it and it stirred a strange, insistent desire in me. I wanted to do whatever I could to help him; I had to do something. I crawled towards him.

"Don't!" he scrambled away.

"But I need to help you," I insisted. "I want to help you," the idea seemed impossible to ignore.

"You can't."

A rippling sensation swept across my mind and for a moment forgot what I was doing. It only lasted a few seconds and after I shook myself free of my confusion, I crept a little closer. I reached out to take his hand so I could tug him toward the open window. His fingers were like ice! It startled me but as I pulled away, he seized my wrist. When he touched me, something flashed behind my eyes. Suddenly I was seeing everything he saw and feeling his pain and fear as if it were my own. I had a vague sense of what happened to him and what I would need to do to help him. He released his grip and let my hand fall.

"Do you understand? Now do you know why you shouldn't help me?"

"You're...you're a...a...a," I couldn't get the word out as I shook my head in disbelief. I knew there were no such things.

"Oh, but there are!" he assured me and as I looked at him and considered the possibility, the idea seemed to flare up inside my mind.

"Holy ssh...!" I covered my mouth and whispered when I realized he was telling me the truth.

The idea horrified me but it fascinated me, too, and I said the first thing that came to mind, "Do you kill people?"

He was silent for a few seconds. "I have," he reluctantly admitted, "but, no, mostly I do not. Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Sometimes someone doesn't deserve to live," his voice seemed to challenge me.

"Oh," it only took a few seconds for me to contemplate the idea. "I...I understand."

"Do you? You seem young to have such a bold opinion."

I looked away and wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't something I had ever really considered other than in the vaguest of terms. I was confident, though, that if someone hurt me or my family, I wouldn't hesitate hurting them back.

He tilted his head at me and I wondered what he was thinking. "You remind me of someone," he surprised me by saying. He reached out and brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. "What's your name?"

His touch made me suspicious and I drew back slightly.

"It's Emily," I answered. "What's yours?"

"Daemon."

"How did this happen to you?"

"It's complicated," he sighed and after he said it he swayed and slumped over falling sideways onto the dirt floor.

"Daemon!" I cried out realizing that he was worse off than I imagined.

Against my better judgement I inched closer and helped him back upright. "Are you...are you dying?" I asked.

He chuckled oddly, "Some would say I'm already dead." It made me smile. That he could be so lighthearted under the circumstances put me a little more at ease. I felt a renewal of that odd, persistent need to help him, but Daemon grew serious again, "You should go."

"But I can't just leave you here."

"Emily," he sighed and shook his head no. "You don't understand...helping me...it's...it's just wrong. You're not even supposed to know about..."

"There must be something I can do to help you!" I cut him off.

"Just leave! If you have any sense, go before it's too late!" It sounded very suggestive and I heard the hidden meaning behind it.

"No," I said. "It wouldn't be right. You might be...different but I don't think you deserve to die. Your life matters as much as mine or anybody's."

"Why would you say that? You don't honestly believe that, do you?"

I nodded, "Yes. I do. Please," I said, "let me help you."

Daemon turned away, "There's only one thing that will help me," he confessed.

My heart skipped a beat as I weighed his words, "I know."

When he turned back, his eyes were full of longing, "It will hurt," he tried discouraging me further.

"I'm not afraid," I assured him.

A minute of desperate contemplation passed.

"Come," he motioned me closer when the last of his resolve fell away. He wrapped himself around me and I bit my lip to keep from crying out when the pressure of his teeth pierced my flesh. Then suddenly the world seemed to stop. My eyes closed, my life stood still and all my senses left me. The only thing I felt aware of was my heart beating. It was strong and fast the thumps coming one right after the other. A moment later I noticed a second and guessed that it was his. It echoed mine only at a much slower pace. His lips pulled and strained as he gathered more, took more and more from me. I grew weaker and weaker with each second that passed.

"He's going to kill me!" my mind cried and I wondered how I could have been so stupid and reckless. But just when I was about to give into the idea that I had made a deadly mistake Daemon released me.

I collapsed and slid backwards onto the dirt my eyes looking straight up into the supports and the webs crisscrossing above me. He threw himself down beside me and turned my head so I faced him, "Emily," he called, his voice frantic and seeming to come from very far away. "Emily," he gave me a gentle shake. "Emily," an even more insistent tone as he gripped my shoulders.

The world began to spin. I blinked once, very slowly, twice. He took my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes, "Emily?"

"Daemon..." I breathed.

He urged me to sitting and I realized how hollow and empty I felt. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "it was too much; I took too much!" He passed his hand in front of my eyes and watched to see if my gaze followed it. My lids were so heavy and though I tried, I couldn't keep them open. My head lolled back and I let out a long, shuddering breath.

"No," he slapped my cheek to rouse me. Again, "No!"

He rested his hand on my face and it was no longer icy, cold and weak but warm, smooth and strong. My eyes fluttered and I saw him tilting his head back and the flash of his teeth as he drew them across his wrist. He kissed me and whispered against my lips "I'm sorry."

Then I felt it, the cool, sweet taste of him as he held the wound he made to my mouth. It drifted across my tongue and weaved its way down my throat where it turned warm and enlivening. I heard it again, his heartbeat, only this time it was loud and sure and mine anxious and weak in the background. Something else was happening too; he seemed to be racing through me and challenging me, beckoning me to come back and not give in and let go.

My body convulsed, eager for more. I raised my hands and clutched at Daemon's arm unwilling to let him stop. It surprised him and he abruptly pulled away.

Daemon clutched my hands and peered into my eyes, "Emily," he called as I sat motionless and mesmerized by the sensation of his blood coursing through me. "Oh," he sighed with regret as he kissed first one hand then the other and hugged me close.

I was so overwhelmed and confused I laid my forehead against his chest and cried. My skin tingled. It rippled from my head down to my toes. All the fine hairs on my arms and legs were electrified and standing on end.

"Ssh," he whispered hoping to soothe my sobs and I sensed his regret as his hand ran up and down my spine. He shook with suppressed emotion and mumbled, "It was the only way. It was the only way!"

Fretfully I looked up and searched his expression, "Will I be like you now?"

He took my chin and looked into my eyes. I saw how worried he was and for a moment I felt horrified and ashamed for what we had done. "No," he kissed the top of my head, "no, no..." and there was a hint of relief in his voice. "It was a lot, not enough for that, though. I'm so sorry. It's hard to control sometimes. I never...oh...I'm sorry. It's uncomfortable and probably will be for a while..." I saw his jaw clench and he seemed unwilling to say anything more.

There were voices outside, calling my name. I just noticed them and wondered how long they had been looking for me.

"You need to go," Daemon nodded toward the window, "everyone is worried about you."

I wanted to stay, though, desperately wanted to stay. "Will I ever see you again?"

"Maybe," he said then as if just remembering something I watched him tug an amulet from beneath the folds of his shirt. He held it up so it would catch a trace of the light that shined in from another of the windows. "This is me," he pointed to the gem in the middle, only it wasn't a gem but a hollow glass ball filled with an amber liquid. "You have given me an incredible gift," he said. "If you ever are in need, a need so desperate and you have exhausted every other resource available...and only then," he added in emphasis, "open it here." He showed me the tiny switch to release the ball from the charm, "drink it and call for me. I promise...wherever I am in the world, I will come to you and do whatever I can to help."

"Thank you, Daemon," I mumbled bewildered by everything he said and everything that happened. When I reached for the chain he grasped the back of my neck and pressed his lips hard against mine. I barely had time to blink before he vanished.

## Chapter 2

"I'm here!" I called to my mother and father as I slithered through the open window.

They both came hurrying over, "Emily?! What on Earth were you doing in there?"

"Duh! Looking for Evan!"

"Evan's right here," my mom motioned him around from behind her.

"Naturally!" I dusted myself off.

"What gave you the idea he was under there?" my father asked.

"The screen was off and I looked everywhere else! Geez, Evan! Why didn't you answer me when I called? You would have saved me a lot of trouble!"

He had a wicked little grin on his face knowing my parents were more upset with me than him at the moment. He looked up at my mother his eyes full of innocence, "I was just trying to win the game."

"Of course you were, sweetie," she ruffled his hair.

I huffed out loud, "Can we go inside now?"

My father bent down and examined the screen. A pang of panic ran through me but he didn't seem to think anything of it and jimmied it back into place. He stood up, "Yeah, let's eat," he said and took me by the shoulder as I led the way back to the house.

After we went inside Evan and I washed up, then hurried to the dining room. My mom and dad were already at the table waiting for us. As soon as we sat down my father took up his fork and knife and started eating. My mom did too, but not with quite so much enjoyment as my dad.

"Everything's cold," she sighed and tossed a hard look my way as if to say it was my fault.

"What?" I glared back. "I'm to blame? What about Evan? He's the one..."

My dad spoke over me, "Let's just eat; Emily and Evan both understand what they did wrong, don't you?"

"Yes," Evan nodded emphatically while I stared in disbelief. My father waited expectantly.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"And it won't happen again, right?"

"Right."

"And?" my father gave me another inquiring glance.

"And..." for a second or two I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say. "I'm sorry..." it sounded more like a question than a response but it satisfied my dad and he resumed eating.

My mother and Evan followed his lead, so I picked up my fork. I wasn't very hungry and while everyone else ate I sat there absently pushing the food on my plate around. I thought about Daemon as the weight of his amulet rested against my chest.

"This is me," I remembered him saying and smiled to myself.

"Why aren't you eating?" my mom asked.

"I'm not hungry," I shrugged.

She must have thought I felt guilty for worrying her and my dad and using a softer tone encouraged me to try something. I gathered a tiny bite of chicken onto my fork and took a reluctant nibble. It tasted awful! I reached for my milk and took a hasty sip to wash it down. It seemed no better than the meat and I almost choked when I tried swallowing. I forced it down my throat then wiped my mouth with my napkin.

My parents and brother frowned as I peered at each of their curious faces, "I'm...I'm not feeling well."

I stood up and raced from the dining room. I made it upstairs and to the bathroom my brother and I shared. After closing the door, I fell to my knees and wretched once or twice but nothing would come up. When I realized I wouldn't or couldn't be sick I used the edge of the sink to pull myself up and splashed cold water on my face.

As it trickled down my cheeks, it made me realize that I was desperately thirsty and I cupped handful after handful and slurped it down. Once I had my fill, I looked up and studied my reflection in the mirror. I tilted my head this way and that and couldn't take my eyes from myself.

"It's uncomfortable, I know..." Daemon's words echoed in my head.

My mother rapped on the door and I jumped when I heard her, "Emily, are you alright, sweetie?"

I took a deep breath and braced myself, "I'm fine. I'll be right out."

Afterwards I turned back to my reflection and blinking once or twice tried shaking my uneasiness away. I dried my hands and wiped my face and feigned what I hoped would be a look of unconcern before opening the door.

"What's wrong, honey?" my mom asked, all her earlier anger replaced with heartfelt concern.

"I'm a little tired," I mumbled.

She lay her palm against my forehead, "Are you sure that's all, sweetie? You look so pale," she took my hands and gave them a gentle squeeze, "and your skin is like ice," she said completely forlorn.

"The water was really cold while I washed up," I shivered in emphasis.

"Hmm," she bit her lip. "Well, if you're sure you're just tired maybe you should get ready for bed and get some rest." She braced herself and looked as if she expected me to argue against it.

I really was tired, though and wanted to be alone, "I think I will," I yawned.

She seemed suspicious when I agreed but said goodnight anyway and kissed my cheek before heading back downstairs. I went to my room and changed into my pajamas. Once I finished getting ready for bed, I pulled the covers back and tucked myself in.

I thought I would fall asleep quickly but every time I closed my eyes they popped right back open. After a while I gave up and lay there in the dark staring at the ceiling and picturing everything that had happened that day.

"He almost killed me!" I suddenly realized. "What if I had died? What would he have done? Would he have left me there? Would they have found me? What would they think had happened to me?"

I reached for Daemon's amulet and held it away from my neck. I gave it a gentle spin and watched it whirl until it nearly stopped. Thinking about him and everything that happened, everything that might have happened, brought tears to my eyes.

"It was my fault. I made him. I practically begged him to let me help him...and...oh, God! I liked it. I loved the way it felt; being swept away from myself and into Daemon. Then...oh, then his blood racing through me and electrifying me from the inside out. It was...it was...incredible," I closed my eyes and imagined all over again the strange ecstasy of hearing our heartbeats crying out for one another.

By then I knew it would be impossible to fall asleep if my thoughts kept running in the same direction. I tried thinking of something else. Everything I did to distract myself, though, made me realize that he wasn't the only thing bothering me. It was too bright, or at least it seemed too bright to sleep. And the noises! It sounded like the crickets were right outside my window even though my bedroom was on the second floor. The air rushing from the vents and the hum from the air conditioner every time it kicked seemed so loud it was maddening.

"Ugh," I moaned and buried my face in my pillow.

When I turned, Daemon's amulet got caught on one of the sheets and gave me a bit of a choke. I decided I'd better not fall asleep with it around my neck so I slipped it off and hung it on my bedpost. It must have been close to midnight by then. After arranging myself and forcing my eyes shut one last time I finally drifted off.

Hours later something startled me awake.

"I know you're here, Daemon," a woman's voice growled. She moved from the shadows and picked her way across my room. "I can feel you! I can smell you!"

"Who are you?!" I demanded.

I must have surprised her. She spun towards me and the next thing I knew she was beside my bed and had me by the throat, "Better yet," she scowled, "who are you?" She lifted me up while I fought against her and turned me towards the window to could get a better look.

I coughed and sputtered. "I'm...I'm..." and as I struggled to say my name she gave me a little toss and I landed roughly back on my bed, "Emily."

"Where's Daemon? I know he's...here..." her voice changed, suddenly sounding full of disbelief. She narrowed her eyes and looked me over again. Then she bent in close and clutched my chin forcing my mouth open. She sniffed my breath and turned her head in derision. "What did he do to you?!" she demanded.

I clenched my jaw and refused to answer.

"Oh, is that how we will play this game? Very well," she seized my hand and brought my wrist to her lips. She took a violent pull from my veins then tossed my hand back towards me. "Ah, I came so close...so close to killing him." She stepped back and narrowing her eyes smiled a sinister grin, "But you...I see...and he...and so..." she had a faraway look as she considered what happened.

"And now he's long gone, isn't he?"

"I don't know where he is. He...left," my voice trembled and an involuntary sob escaped my lips, "he just left." I buried my face in my hands.

A long moment passed then she raised her hand and brushed the hair from my face, "There, there," her voice oddly comforting and full of concern, "don't cry. I understand," she soothed, "your heart...your poor little heart. It feels like it's being torn in two."

"Yes, yes!" I wailed.

"I know how to fix it, Emily."

"You do?" I looked up my eyes full of hope.

She smiled, "Of course I do. Come with me," she reached for my hand.

"Where are we going?"

She nipped her finger and put it to my lips, "Taste," she commanded.

I reached out and sucked the blood from her fingertip; I tried but couldn't stop myself.

"Carah," I whispered.

"Yes, Emily, I'm Carah, and I am going to help you; help you get better and help you forget Daemon...forget all about Daemon. Come," she said and full of obedience I took her hand and followed.

Carah led me outside and when we got to the sidewalk in front of my house, she drew me towards a car parked along the curb. She opened the door and motioned me in. A moment later Carah glided in and sat beside me. The driver turned and looked at her full of curiosity and confusion. She nodded at him to start the car and rather than waiting for a reply he shrugged and turned the key.

"How long will we be gone? My parents are already mad at me and I don't want them to wake up and worry if I'm not home." I struggled but managed asking.

Carah gave and odd little chuckle, "Not very long at all," she smiled across the seat at me. "It's been a difficult day for you and you must be exhausted. Why don't you stretch out and rest while you have the chance?" Her voice was soft and comforting and though I wanted to distrust it my eyes grew heavy and my thoughts became utterly confused.

"That sounds nice," I mumbled. I couldn't make any sense of where I was or what I was doing or why I was doing it. I found myself yawning and curling my legs up onto the seat. Before I knew it, I fell sound asleep.

I woke up when the car stopped before taking a sharp turn. It seemed like morning but the windows had a heavy tint and I couldn't tell for sure. I pulled myself to sitting and strained my eyes as I peered out. We were in a canyon and as we climbed, I saw gates ahead of us with two men standing at rigid attention in front of them. Carah put the divider up between us and the driver as he lowered the window to speak with them. After they exchanged a handful of words, the men opened the gate and waved us through.

"Where are we?" I asked somewhat awestruck.

"Be patient, Emily," she said and left my question unanswered.

A quiver of suspicion ran through me. I wanted to put up a strong front but as I became more and more aware of my situation I started to panic.

"I need to get home. My parents are probably worried and Evan, too."

"Soon, Emily," she reached over to take my hand but I batted her away.

"Am I being kidnapped?"

Carah guffawed, "I'm trying to help you!"

"What kind of person tries to help someone by kidnapping them?"

"I think you're well aware that I'm not a person at all," she cocked her head at me.

Her voice taunted and her expression made it sound even more foreboding. I tried the door handle but it was locked. I ran my hands over the panel looking for the switch.

"Let me out!" I shouted and banged on the window, "Let me out!"

I turned back to Carah and she shook her head and smiled at my wasted efforts. Then I remembered the amulet and I reached for the chain. My eyes filled with fear when I realized it wasn't there and I quickly remembered what happened to it.

"I'm sorry," Carah's expression softened, "but it would be infinity easier on you if you would just cooperate. I brought you here to help you but other than that the less you know the better."

She sounded sincere and I regretted the harsh way I spoke to her as well as the severity of my accusation. I almost apologized but my mind seized upon the idea that no matter how believable she sounded Carah couldn't be trusted.

"You're...you're not sorry! You're just trying to...to pacify me!" I lunged for her; hitting and clawing at her face.

She grabbed my wrists, "My you're a feisty one!" she grinned wickedly. "Is that you or is Daemon still in there," she loosened her grip and after letting go laid one of her hands over my heart, "somewhere?" She fell silent for a moment as if she was listening or trying somehow to sense what was going on inside of me. The car pulled to a stop and she quickly dropped the attempt, "Ah, here we are."

Carah let my other hand go and slid across the seat towards the door. A moment later the driver came around and opened her door. After she exited the car she bent down and beckoned me to do the same, "Come," she said and stepped back.

I thought about trying to escape as I scuttled across the seat and hopped out but Carah intuitively grabbed my collar as soon as my feet hit the ground. She seemed impossibly strong and I was helpless against her grip. I realized how useless it would be to keep fighting so I stopped and looked over my surroundings. I saw that we were in an underground garage. There were several rows of cars, trucks and motorcycles; perhaps a dozen or so of each parked in precise intervals across the expansive floor.

Carah looked down at me, "Now then. I need you to do everything I say and if you do not..." She put her hands one on each side of my face and I sensed her thoughts rippling across mine. "Do you understand?" I felt myself trembling and my heart beat so hard I thought it would burst through my chest. Reluctantly I nodded. "Good," Carah released me. "This way."

She pivoted on her heel and took several steps then looked expectantly at me until I shuffled after her. Carah led us to an elevator and rather than going up it brought us further and further down. When the doors slid back, she nudged me to get out and followed right behind me.

We came out into a long hallway that looked very much like the entryway or foyer to someone's home. The tiled floor gleamed under our feet and various pieces of artwork hung from the walls. There were several small, round tables with two chairs each facing one another. Between them were plant stands of various shapes and sizes spilling over with an array of foliage.

The walls lining the hallway had several breaks in them; doorways leading into vast rooms on either side and as we walked by I glanced in and saw that they each seemed to have their own purpose. One was littered with gaming tables; billiards and chess boards, backgammon and many other games I didn't recognize. Many of them were in use and as we passed by several of the room's occupants raised their heads and stole curious looks at us.

A few of the other rooms were clearly offices with desks and computers, filing cabinets and such. We walked by a room that appeared to be a library. Another that looked like a small theater complete with a movie screen and three rows of staggered seating to view it from.

When we reached the end of the hallway we turned left. After a handful of steps there was a long stretch of wall made entirely of glass. In places condensation covered it and as we walked by I noticed that behind the glass lay a vast indoor garden. There were trees and flowers and shrubs all at the peak of their bloom. I even saw a few small animals and birds flitting about and marveled at the beauty of it all as we passed by.

The opposite wall held artwork and plant stands in similar profusion to the main entryway. When we got to the end of the hallway there was only one way to turn and that was left again. A wide doorway was set several feet back from the turn. A man stood in front of the closed door and I couldn't tell if he was guarding it or waiting for us to arrive.

"Is he in?" Carah asked the man.

"Yes," he replied.

"Will he see me?"

The man closed his eyes and concentrated, "He wants to see the girl first."

Carah's jaw visibly clenched, "Of course."

The man nodded back down the hallway indicating to Carah that she should leave. Again, I started to panic; my heart raced and though I didn't like her and distrusted her completely, I clutched at Carah not to leave me. "Please," I begged.

She shook herself free from my grip and after giving the man a vicious glare, whirled away. I started after her but only got a step or two when my feet stopped working. I tried moving but stood frozen in place and unable to do anything but watch as Carah rounded the corner and disappeared from my view.

"Emily."

I'm not sure how it happened but some strange force spun me around and I was looking at the door again.

The man opened it, "Go in."

"No," I whispered and willfully stood my ground.

He smiled, "Strong," he said, "good." He narrowed his eyes at me and the next thing I knew I was walking through the doorway with him following close on my heels. The door whispered closed and it darkened the passageway as he ushered me along. Though I tried, I had a hard time making anything out.

The air seemed cold and somewhat dreary. My skin rippled with goosebumps as we walked. At the end of the hallway the man placed his hand on my shoulder and turned me slightly. It grew a little brighter and as my eyes slowly adjusted I realized we were walking into a living room though it was much larger than any I had ever seen.

There was a huge fireplace and furniture scattered around it; coffee tables and chaises and lounge chairs. Some of the walls had bookshelves and others had portraits, pictures and paintings hanging from them. Though there weren't any windows there were drapes at precise intervals cascading from the ceiling to the floor to give the sense that there were.

As we approached the fireplace, I saw the outline of a man standing in front of it with his back toward us. He gazed down into the flames and seemed quite engrossed by their flickering light.

My heart caught in my throat and I stopped short staring at him across the distance between us. He turned slightly and I caught a glimpse of his profile. Then he paused for a moment and I wondered if he was hesitant to face us for some reason. As I gazed across the room to where he stood I had the impression I was looking at something divinely made; something magical and unearthly.

He visibly composed himself, or that was what I imagined him to be doing and turned fully around.

I took him in all at once – his black hair, expressive eyes, thick brows, firm jaw and full lips. I couldn't breathe he was so captivating. He reminded me of Daemon only...only...I couldn't put my finger on it because something seemed to brush the thought aside.

"Emily," he smiled with a warmth and affection that suggested he knew me and that we were dear friends. He reached for one of my hands and brushed a kiss across my knuckles. "I'm so sorry to bring you here like this," he cocked his head at me and examined me from head to toe. "Carah told me what happened," he sighed. "It was very..." he paused and searched for a suitable word, "unfortunate."

"How..." I tried asking.

"I know everything Carah knows," he assured me.

"Where are..."

"Let's sit," he glanced over his shoulder, "and I will tell you everything I can for now."

I followed him to one of the chaises and rather than sitting down beside me he drew one of the lounge chairs up and sat directly across from me.

"Wait outside, Avery," he called over his shoulder to the man who brought me in.

Once we were alone, he pulled his chair in somewhat closer and took my hand again. It was terribly unnerving for me and I couldn't find the courage to look at him. He sat quietly for a minute or so while I stared at the floor contemplating my situation.

"Emily," he reached out his free hand and tilted my chin so I would meet his eye. "Emily, I am Herrik."

"Eric?" I wasn't sure I heard him correctly.

"No, Herrik, with an H," he grinned.

It was infectious and I smiled back.

"And this...he glanced around...everything you see...everything you've seen, is my home. Actually, there are many, many others who live here, too. Carah and Avery who you've met; some like me and some..."

"Like me," I guessed.

"Yes, but only if they choose to stay...if they come of their own free will."

"Is that why I'm here? I don't want to stay," I said confident I understood what he was suggesting.

"Perhaps, but before we talk about that and you make any decisions," his voice sincere and solemn, "I want to talk to you about how you're feeling right now."

He seemed to understand how desolate and lost I felt so I didn't bother hiding it. My lips trembled and my eyes flooded with tears. There was a strange emptiness inside me, a sadness that just wouldn't go away.

"Imagine what it would be like to feel that way every day for the rest of your life. One of my kind has done something to you...something...unforgiveable...something...forbidden. It was wrong for Daemon to take so much from you and worse to give so much back. I want to help you, Emily; I want to right this terrible wrong and free you from a lifetime...a lifetime of heartache. You will never be the same, no matter what Daemon told you. You will never be the same."

I didn't understand how he knew so much and I didn't want to believe what Herrik told me. I started to say no but the word stuttered on my tongue once or twice and I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"Just one day, then," he pleaded "let me try to help you."

"Why?" I asked dumbfounded by his earnestness that I stay.

"For the same reason you helped Daemon. Because it's right, Emily, because it's the right thing for me to do."

I shook my head and studied his expression for a moment; he seemed like he was being honest but despite my desire to trust him I thought that if I disagreed he would simply force me to stay, anyway. I decided to take what I hoped would be the safest approach, "One day, then I can go home, right?"

"I promise."

## Chapter 3

A moment later Avery returned with Carah in tow.

"Emily has given us one day," Herrik informed them. "Avery, when did Artur say he would be back?"

"He didn't. I can send for him, though; I'm sure he would put his errands aside under the circumstances," Avery cast an odd glance at me.

"Good. Emily," Herrik motioned to me. I hoisted myself from the chaise and came over to where he stood. He laid his hand on my shoulder and looked at me. "Try getting a little sleep," he said, his voice apologetic, "and once I've spoken with Artur, I'll send someone for you." He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze and said goodnight.

Herrik nodded to Carah and turned away from us. It seemed dismissive and impolite especially since I was already so overwhelmed and confused. I glanced back as we neared the hallway and saw Herrik motion Avery to the chaise. Herrik had his back to me but I could see Avery's face. He looked like he was listening intently to Herrik. Avery nodded once or twice so I guessed that Herrik was giving him instructions.

I wondered about it as I followed Carah back the way we had come. Once we left Herrik's apartment we wound our way down the hallway past the garden and towards the elevator. This time we went up and after several floors the doors slid back and Carah stepped out. At first it was too dark to see anything but Carah flicked a switch and it bathed our surroundings in light. We were standing in a small receiving area for people getting off the elevator.

"What is this place?" I glanced around.

"We're on one of the apartment levels," Carah said. She moved to the door directly in front of us, "And this," she said as she punched a code into the keypad, "is where you'll be staying tonight."

"An apartment?"

"There were only two choices, this or the dorms. Herrik thought you would be more comfortable here," she said, her voice somewhat agitated as she held the door open for me.

Once we passed through, we walked down a short hallway that led into the kitchen. There were two islands – one obviously there for food preparation and one with stools surrounding it for casual dining. Everything else was standard kitchen fare – a stove, a refrigerator, a sink, and lots of cabinets and what looked to be a pantry.

Beyond the kitchen the apartment split off to the left and right. Carah pointed towards the left, "I doubt you will use any of these but the first room to your right is the dining room. If you go further along, you'll come to the living area." She didn't take me that way but instead led me to the right. "Here is the bathroom," she flipped the light switch and let me look it over, "across there's an office..."

She started walking again and when we got to the end of the hallway, she opened a pair of double doors and ushered me through.

"This is the bedroom."

It spanned the entire length of the apartment. The furnishings were simple and elegant but comfortable looking. There was a small sitting area arranged around a fireplace and a large television built into the wall above the mantle. On the opposite side of that stood a walk-in closet and changing area with a vanity tucked into the corner.

When I looked toward the other end of the room, I sucked in an excited breath. Another long, glass wall covered a portion of it and behind it lay a garden like the one I had seen on the lower level only much, much smaller. It was beautiful and a welcome sight knowing I was still very far below the ground above. The garden gave the impression of looking through a window to the outdoors and made the room and the overall environment seem much more natural.

"Can we go in?"

Carah shook her head, "No, the apartment gardens are for decoration only."

"Oh," I sighed.

As I looked longingly at the greenery, the lighting in the garden grew dimmer making it seem as though the sun was setting and night was falling. I watched in silence for a moment but turned back to Carah when I heard a strange ring coming from the front of the apartment.

"That's the doorbell," Carah explained and waved me to follow as we went to answer it.

Carah stood back and let me open it and when I did I found Avery standing there.

"Herrik thought you might like to freshen up before you rest. He sent these for you," he handed me a bundle of clothes. "He hopes they will do for now and promises to send something that will fit you better when you wake tomorrow." Avery cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably, "Herrik would like me to ask you what sizes you are."

I raised my brows, "Oh, uh, okay. Do you need me to write them down?"

"No," Avery shook his head, "I'll remember."

I rattled off all the appropriate numbers and he nodded after each one of them. Once I had given them all he looked expressively at Carah. She turned and said, "Would you excuse us for a moment?"

I turned and made my way through the kitchen and down the hallway to the bathroom.

After I finished taking a long, hot shower, I sorted through the clothes Herrik had sent me. I slipped on a pair of boxer style shorts with a drawstring waist and cinched them tight around my hips. The tops were mostly t-shirts but one was a silken dress shirt and when I ran my fingers over it I imagined that it was his.

Smiling I tucked my arms into the sleeves and rolled them up before fastening the buttons one after the other. I ran my fingers over the fabric and hugged the shirt to myself while taking a deep breath of the clean, fresh scent it gave off. After I dressed, I wandered back towards the kitchen to find Carah.

She and Avery were speaking in hushed tones as I approached. "I can't imagine why Herrik is keeping her. And why does he need to consult with Artur? Why doesn't he just make her forget and send her home? You understand Herrik better than any of us; what is he planning on doing with the girl?" Carah asked.

I wanted to hear what he had to say, so I stopped mid-stride and held my breath waiting for Avery's reply. It was so quiet that for a moment I thought he wouldn't answer and almost started towards them again.

"I wouldn't be able to tell you; even if I knew. I can guess though."

"And what is your guess?" Carah demanded.

"She is the closest thing he has to Daemon right now. If he takes that away from her, well..." Avery didn't finish the statement and I realized he sensed me listening. It seemed foolish to hide, so I walked into the kitchen and glanced at each of them.

"Ah, there you are," Carah smiled. "Come, sit," she patted the stool to her right.

I pulled the one across from her instead and as I sat down Avery stood up. "Goodnight," he said and without waiting for a response from either of us hurried off.

Carah watched him go then turned back. She reached across the island and ran her fingers over the cuff I had made in Herrik's shirt. Her eyes narrowed, "He sent you something else," she stood up and went to the fridge. Carah brought out a glass of wine and set it before me.

I shook my head, "Oh, no...I'm too young to drink."

She gave a soft chuckle, "Yes, you are," she sat back down, "but you have had an exceptional day and it will be a busy one tomorrow, too. Herrik wants to be sure you are rested and this will help you sleep," she edged the wine towards me.

I wrapped my fingers around the glass and gave it a hesitant sniff. I didn't like the way it smelled as I held it under my nose and put it back down. Carah's expression challenged me and I realized I wasn't being given a choice. I took a tiny sip and it didn't taste at all like I expected. I drained the glass in one gulp and placed it back on the island.

"Good," Carah hopped up. "Is there anything else you might need?"

I shook my head no.

"Herrik will send for you in the morning."

She turned and walked away. I heard the front door open and close. Suddenly I felt terribly alone; scared and alone. Memories from throughout the day turned over and over again in my mind. I buried my face in my hands, "How did this happen?" I asked myself. "How can this be happening?" I was more than a little lightheaded and overwhelmed by it all. I made my way to the bedroom so I could try resting.

As I crawled into bed, I thought about my family. I pictured my mother and father and Evan and how frantic they would be once they realized I was missing.

"It's just one day," I whispered to myself. "Herrik promised he would help me then I can go home."

I couldn't imagine what he planned or thought he might do for me. "Why doesn't he just make her forget and send her home?" Carah had asked. "Can he do that?" I wondered out loud. "Avery seemed to have a way of controlling people; maybe Herrik does, too. Maybe they all do. He must be able to or why else would she have said it? I'm sure she didn't know I was there."

The more I considered it, the more the idea appealed to me. For a moment, I regretted finding Daemon but then I thought about what might have happened if I hadn't. I wondered if there was anything I might have done differently, if there was a way I could have avoided all this. My parents always told me that everything happens for a reason; good things and bad alike. I tried convincing myself that there was a reason I was the one who found him and I should trust that I had done the right thing.

I knew I needed to get some sleep but my head was full of so many complicated ideas! My heart wrenched and I started crying. No matter how hard I fought them, my tears kept coming. Then something strange happened. I thought I heard somebody whispering and comforting me as I struggled to stifle my sobs. I strained my ears but the only sound they caught was the rhythmic chirping of the crickets in the nearby garden. The noise blocked out everything else and as I listened, it lulled me into a deep sleep.

When I woke the following morning, I waited a few minutes before opening my eyes. I prayed it had all been a fantastic dream and I would find myself at home. I tentatively ran my fingers over the covers. They were unfamiliar and the brief caress was all I needed to make me realize my hopes were false. While I lay in bed, I wondered what I should expect next.

I noticed the scent of something cooking and sat up. The aroma distracted me from all my desperate ideas.

"Breakfast?" I wondered.

I slid to the edge of the bed and hopped down as my belly rumbled hopefully. I opened the door and the smells intensified. Treading lightly, I made my way to the kitchen and there I saw a young woman, perhaps in her early twenties, standing at the stove. She had a sizzling pan of bacon on one burner and a skillet covered with a fluffy pancake on the other.

"Hello?" I called.

She jumped and spun towards me, "Oh, my! You scared me! You walk like a cat!" she laughed.

Her happy expression was so intense I immediately smiled back.

She wiped her hands on her apron before holding one out and introducing herself, "I'm Penny," she said.

"Emily," I reached over and she gave me an earnest shake.

She was very pretty with red hair and bright blue eyes. She had a heart-shaped face and her skin looked so soft and smooth; like someone had polished her to perfection.

"Herrik sent me to make you breakfast. I hope you don't mind. You didn't answer your door this morning and when I went back down to tell him he gave me the code to let myself in."

"Oh, no, it's fine!" I assured her. She wasn't like him; despite how beautiful she was. She was a girl just like me and everything about her put me completely at ease.

"I hope you like pancakes."

"I do!"

"Are you hungry?"

"Very," I nodded.

"Good! Sit down," she motioned to the island.

She set my place for me and arranged my silverware then poured a glass of juice. "Would you like a little fruit?" I nodded over the rim of my glass as she handed me a plate. Penny went to the fridge and pulled out a bowl full of fresh berries she had already prepared and scooped some out. As I picked at the fruit, I noticed a huge vase of flowers that hadn't been there the previous night resting on the edge of the island.

"Those were outside your door this morning," she said as I looked them over. "I brought them in and put them in some water for you. There's a card..."

I pulled it from the pick that held it in the vase and opened the small envelope.

Dearest Emily,

A gift to show my regard and the happiness you have brought me by staying with us. I look forward to seeing you once you are ready to start your day.

Herrik

Penny stood over me while I read the brief note. She smiled as she filled the remaining space on my plate with pancakes and bacon. The doorbell rang when she turned away, "Oh, I can get that for you; enjoy your breakfast," she said and hurried off to answer it.

I slathered my pancakes in butter and syrup and took several big bites before she returned. I had my mouth stuffed full when she came back. She grinned and shook her head at me disapprovingly.

I took a huge gulp of juice and shamefully washed it all down.

"Who was at the door?" I asked as I continued my breakfast.

"Avery," she said, "he left a few things for you. I'll help you with them once you're done eating."

I cleared my plate and considered asking for seconds I was so hungry but didn't think it would be polite. Instead I carried my dishes to the sink and thanked Penny for going through so much trouble.

"Would you like to see what Avery brought you?"

I remembered Avery asking for my sizes and figured he had brought me a change of clothes to wear for the day, "Sure." I answered

She followed me to the front door and much to my surprise there were half a dozen or more boxes. Each one was full of new clothes; dresses mostly, a few skirts and tops as well and shoes in a variety of colors and styles. They were all quite pretty but as I looked them over, they made me suspicious; not only the clothes but the flowers and Penny and breakfast. Their generosity seemed more like an attempt to convince me to stay rather than common kindness.

"I'm not staying!" I narrowed my eyes at Penny.

She shook her head in confusion, "Why would you say something like that?" I didn't have a ready answer as Penny looked at me. "Well," she said awkwardly, "we might as well get these to the bedroom so you can get changed."

She tucked several of the boxes closed and helped me gather them up. We carried them to the bedroom and following Penny's lead I reluctantly hung everything up or placed it on the shelves in the closet. Afterwards we rifled through each article and Penny asked me if anything caught my eye.

I frowned, "I don't really wear dresses."

"Hmm," Penny studied me closely, "are you sure, because you look like a dress kind of girl?"

I shook my head, "No, not at all."

"But you're so pretty, so...so feminine," she said.

It made me very uncomfortable.

"Would you like me to choose?"

"Sure." I mumbled.

Penny went into the closet and came out a minute or two later. She held a navy-blue sundress with white polka dots in one hand and a pair of sandals in the other.

"What do you think?"

I shrugged.

"Maybe you'll get a better idea of how well you like them once they're on," Penny touched my shoulder encouragingly and left the room.

I took Herrik's shirt off and hung it in the closet. A few moments later I slid the dress over my head. I tried reaching the zipper but had to call Penny for help. When she came in she smiled with delight, "Oh, it's so cute! Look at you," she deftly zipped it up and shuffled me towards the closet so I could see my reflection.

I smiled despite all my uneasiness. "It's nice," I admitted.

"Try the shoes," Penny suggested.

I slipped them on and made a few paces back and forth in front of the mirror.

"Perfect," Penny assured me. "Would you like me to do something with your hair? I could braid it for you if you like."

"No," I said a bit too harshly. She was just trying to be nice but my defenses suddenly went back on the alert. I softened my tone, "No thank you, Penny."

"Well, there's a comb and a brush and some other toiletries in the bathroom for you. I'll wait for you in the kitchen and when you're done Herrik asked me to bring you to him."

I spent several minutes brushing my teeth and combing my hair. When I finished I began to feel remorseful for the way I acted when Penny offered to help me. I found her in the kitchen, "Penny," my voice apologetic, "I...I've changed my mind, would you mind doing something with my hair for me?"

She smiled and stood up. Penny brought me to my bedroom and had me sit at the vanity. She left the room and came back with the brush, the comb and some other odds and ends like barrettes and hair ties then got to work. She pulled all but a handful of my hair back and fastened it with a tie. Afterwards she gathered up the loose hair and braided it pulling it up and across my head to the opposite side where she clipped it into place.

Next, Penny worked on the ponytail she had first gathered at the back of my head. She sectioned it off and twisted the sections into several mini-buns pinning them all securely above my neckline. Once she placed the last pin, she ran her hands all over her work to make sure it would hold then spritzed it with a dash of hairspray.

"There," she handed me a small mirror and adjusted it for me.

"Wow!" I beamed. "It looks amazing! How did you do that?" I asked as I studied the back of my head.

Penny shrugged and batted her eyes modestly, "I wanted to be a hairdresser when I was younger. I practiced a lot...a lot! On my dolls, my sister, even my mother when she would let me." I saw a twinge of pain in her eyes when she mentioned her mother and I wondered if I should ask about it.

I didn't have to though, "They're gone," Penny softly stated, "they're all gone." For a moment, she looked like she might cry and I reached out to comfort her. Before I touched her, though, she abruptly stood up, "Well, let's get you to Herrik!" and the trace of the sorrow I saw vanished.

Penny and I rode the elevator back down to the lowest level. We didn't talk much while we were in the car or as we walked down the hallway past the theater, gaming room and offices. She seemed lost in her own thoughts even though she glanced at me from time to time and smiled her vibrant smile. It was impossible not to wonder about her family and what might have happened to them. Though I desperately wanted to ask I wasn't capable of bringing any of my questions up.

When we passed the indoor garden and drew nearer to Herrik's door, I got a little nervous. Penny must have noticed because she casually took my hand and gave it a light squeeze when we reached the final turn.

Avery stood in front of the door just as he did the day before but this time he opened it without question or hesitation when he saw us coming. He smiled shyly at Penny and said hello to her first then looked at me and gave me a slight bow of welcome. We passed through and Herrik immediately came forward to greet us.

Something lurched inside me and my breakfast fought to come back up. The room wavered in and out of focus. I fell to the floor and it seemed like I stepped away from myself and was seeing everything that happened but wasn't a part of it. Penny screamed and I heard Herrik's voice but didn't feel the touch of his hands as he urged me to sitting.

"Emily," he lifted me up and carried me to the living room. After he laid me on the chaise he took my hands in his. "Emily," he called again his fingers running back and forth across my wrist. "This is no good," he said more to himself than anyone else.

"Emily! Can you hear me?" He laid his fingertips on my temples and whispered something.

I didn't understand what he said though. I closed my eyes and when I did it felt like I was home, in my house! But I wasn't me. I was someone else and as I crept along I examined everything I saw as I went.

"Oh..." I breathed, "he's looking for something."

Room to room he went and it was like I was seeing through his eyes. Evan's room was empty and so was mine. He searched them both but didn't find whatever he was after.

Herrik frowned. It took him a moment to realize what was happening, "Oh, no!" he cried then quickly recovered himself. "Try letting it go, Emily," he said. "You mustn't trust whatever you're seeing. It might not be real."

"Real," I mumbled.

His hand turned the knob and opened the door to my parent's room. He stepped in and noiselessly approached their bed. I saw his fingers easing the covers back.

"No!" I cried out and sat upright my hands covering my mouth.

It was too much for me and my mind suddenly blocked the images out. Tears streamed down my cheeks, my heart was bursting with sorrow and my temples throbbed with pain.

"Emily," Herrik took my hands and caressed them hoping to calm me while Penny nervously watched. "Would you bring me some water," Herrik sent her away. She shook her head like she was just waking from a dream and hurried off.

Minutes later she returned and handed the glass to Herrik.

"Take a sip," Herrik encouraged me.

I tried but only managed a few drops. Penny came over and watched in confusion as I sat there sobbing into my hands. She looked at Herrik, "Is there anything I can do?" she asked.

Herrik clenched his fist and thought for a moment. "Get your things, whatever you need to stay the night. When she's feeling better, I'll bring her to her rooms. Meet me there."

"Of course," she touched me on my shoulder, turned and made her way to the door.

Herrik took a seat beside me on the chaise. The minutes ticked by as he whispered words of comfort and reassurance. When I could finally hold myself upright, I looked in his eyes questioningly.

"I'm not exactly sure," he sounded apologetic. "It's unusual, especially for someone like you."

At first, I didn't understand what he was saying.

"We have people who have visions."

"Is that what happened?" I sniffled.

He seemed reluctant to answer, "Everyone has innate abilities they aren't aware of and never use. Something may have happened to trigger yours."

"Daemon?"

Herrik took a deep breath, "Maybe..." he shook his head and looked away, "probably."

"Was it real?" I asked. "The things I saw..."

"They might have been. Or they could have been something that happened or is going to happen or even just something that may happen but won't. There's no way to know for sure."

I jumped up, "I...have...to...go..." I swooned dizzily and my knees gave out. As I fell back against Herrik, I closed my eyes and ground my teeth against the pain in my temples.

"Emily?" Herrik sounded alarmed. "Emily?"

I couldn't answer my head throbbed so badly and there was so much tension in my heart. I knew I needed to get home, though, so I could see for myself that my family was alright. When I tried standing again Herrik forcibly kept me seated.

"Ssh, you need to rest, Emily. I can't let you go. You're not well enough yet."

"I'm fine!" I tried wrenching myself free. "Let me go! I have to go!"

Herrik's voice suddenly changed from concerned sympathy to willful and insistent. "And what do you imagine will happen to you if you do? You're in no condition to go home and what would you tell your family if you did?"

The whirlwind of thoughts swimming around in my mind stopped and I seized on the idea.

"No one can know about us, Emily! I can't send you home until I can be sure that something like this won't happen to you again and that you won't give us away."

"But I want to go home," I sobbed. "I want to see my family. What if they're in trouble?"

"I'll send Carah and Avery to look; to make sure they are safe and I'll know just as soon as they do. I'm sorry." Herrik apologized and his expression softened. "I know you're upset, Emily and all of this is very hard to understand," he sighed. I turned and faced him, ready to curse and accuse him but he was so full of remorse. For a moment, I forgot about all my own sorrows. "I need to ask you something," he said. He looked earnest and though I wanted to refuse him, I didn't have the courage. Whatever he wanted to know it seemed terribly important. I looked away and nodded a weak yes.

"Would you tell me what happened when you met Daemon?"

"Oh," it wasn't the question I was expecting. I had to consider it for a minute and gather my thoughts. "He was in my crawlspace when I found him," I began. "He had gotten hurt somehow and I wanted to help him. I thought about getting my parents but he begged me not to. So I tried moving him, hoping to at least get him out from under the house. Then Daemon grabbed me and told me what he was and insisted that there was nothing I could do. He seemed so...so ordinary and... he was just nice. I didn't want to leave him. We talked for a few minutes and after a while he slumped over. I knew I had to help him!"

"There is only one thing that can help me," he said.

"I told him I didn't care, I wasn't afraid and that I would do whatever I could. He took me in his arms then everything just sort of...stopped. I couldn't hear anything or feel anything only my heartbeat and Daemon's, too. He was so strong! It felt like he was turning me inside out. And I remember thinking I was dying. I wanted to let go and I...I wanted him to stop," I shuddered.

"I...I blacked out. Then he was holding me again and...and it seemed so cold! His blood," I shuddered at the realization, "his blood..." I moaned out loud perhaps fully understanding for the first time what he had done. "Oh, God!" I lowered my voice shamefully, "It tasted so cold at first, like ice! It...it moved through my body and the faster it went the warmer I got. I...liked it and I wanted it, wanted more, I wanted it to go on and on forever. I never wanted it to end."

"Did your heart ever stop, Emily? Do you know? Do you remember?"

I shook my head, "I'm sorry," I cried, "I'm sorry," over and over again.

"Don't be sorry, Emily. You don't remember. It's not your fault...none of this is your fault. You...you were just trying to do the right thing. You wanted to help someone who needed it and that is always the right thing to do. Always!"

Herrik went rigid, "They're there."

"Oh," I studied his face, looked for changes in his expression hoping to know as soon as he knew.

Herrik took one of my hands and held it tight. A minute passed, two, three. I thought I saw a hint of a smile. "Your parents are fine. They're sleeping. Carah said your brother is not there. He's at a friend's; it's too hard for him to be home right now. He misses you."

"Carah will help them, make it a little easier for them to bear."

"Avery is searching outside...he doesn't think anyone is there or has been there. I'll have them stay just to be safe. I'll have them stay and I will send others to watch over them for as long as you are here."

"What do you mean as long as I'm here?" I wrenched my hand from his, "One day you said!" Herrik looked shamefully away. "But you promised," I insisted. "You said you would help me and I could go home!"

"I'm sorry."

The ache behind my eyes intensified.

Herrik took my hands, "But I will still help you," he whispered, "if you'll let me."

The world fell away and I was no longer sitting on the chaise in Herrik's rooms full of worry. I was at the ocean and the sun was setting. The waves lapped the shore and the gulls cried as they made their way to their roosts. The horizon was a vibrant orange at first that slowly faded to a bright peach and finally it disappeared into the dusky light of early evening.

Herrik and I walked along the edge of the surf and he held my hand. My feet were bare and the sand crept between my toes with each step I took. A soft breeze picked at the loose tendrils of hair that had escaped Penny's handiwork. I forgot everything else for the moment. I looked up and smiled at Herrik as I marveled at the sensations. It all seemed so real!

"When I was young, a bit younger than you are now, my family and I lived near here," he waved his arm to everything we could see. "It was one of the happiest places I can remember. We lived so close that in the summertime, when my parents were working, my brother and I would ride our bikes here. We spent entire days combing the beach and diving under the waves. On the weekends, when the weather was nice enough, my mother and father would join us. They would pack enough food and drinks for an army and we would all enjoy it together."

"This is the place I have always missed the most," he turned to face me. "But I know I can never go back. I can never see it this way again. I, we, everyone here has had to make a similar sacrifice. Some have been harder than others and some far worse. I'm afraid for you, Emily. I think I may have to ask you to do the same."

"No," I sobbed. "Please, no!"

"Emily, after what's happened today I don't think I have any choice. I can't just let you go home. Daemon's blood has done something to you and I'm not sure what. Until I do, it would be safest for you and your family if you stayed."

"I don't want to stay!" He bowed his head regretfully. "You can't keep me here!" I insisted.

"I must."

The sights and sounds of the ocean faded. I blinked several times and found myself back on the chaise with Herrik kneeling down in front of me. As he studied me I thought I saw tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Though I no longer felt the pain in my head the ache in my chest intensified, "Please?" I begged but Herrik just looked away and shook his head no.

## Chapter 4

I stood up full of anger and frustration and ran from the room. By the time I made it to the front door Herrik was already there. I reached around him and grabbed the handle.

"It doesn't have to be this way," he laid his hand over mine as I tugged at the door. "Please let go." Herrik implored.

My lips trembled and I fought back the angry tears in my eyes. As I loosened my grip I lost my voice. I couldn't think of anything to say, any argument to make.

"Let me take you back to your apartment. Penny is waiting for you. She's very worried," he said.

"I don't care!"

"I know you don't mean that," Herrik stepped back and held the door for me.

"You don't know anything about me!" Herrik expression shifted from remorse to agitation. I saw it clearly but rather than confronting my anger he smiled oddly at me. I didn't understand what he found so humorous in my statement. I started walking again. After a few steps, "Oh!" I stopped in my tracks. My mind went blank and I sensed an odd vibration behind my eyes. I likened it to someone shuffling cards or scanning through a book by running their thumb across the pages and rippling them one against the other.

"I know everything I need to," he said.

My mouth fell open and a word or two stuttered across my tongue but none of them would come out. On top of everything else that had happened it felt like an unforgiveable insult. "Did you just..." something in my mind seemed to snap and I viciously turned to face him. "Then, I guess you know exactly how much I hate you and everything about you!"

Herrik stood there for a long drawn out moment. Eventually he took a deep breath, "Yes, I believe I do," he said in a voice filled with regret. He took several steps and without looking back, waited until I followed.

He kept an easy pace and I matched every stride he took. My anger began to abate and as it did, I became more and more conscious of what I had said and to whom I had said it. I imagined all the possible repercussions and potential consequences and my heart withered while I considered them. I cowered like a caged animal as I looked around and Herrik led me towards the elevators.

There were quite a few people, more than I had yet seen, walking along the hallway or standing in the doorways of the various rooms we passed. Everyone who saw us smiled and nodded to Herrik. Some said hello or offered him some other greeting as we walked by. No one spoke to me but they didn't ignore me either. I sensed every curious look as they examined me from wherever they stood.

When we arrived at the elevator, the doors swung open and someone rushed out. He seemed anxious and tense but despite his unease he struck me as someone of distinction. He looked older than any of the others I had seen so far, perhaps in his 60's or 70's. His demeanor, though, was full of youth and vigor and he had the strangest eyes I had ever seen. They were milky-blue like a blind person's but full of light and life and he seemed to see quite well. As soon as he recognized Herrik, his nervousness left him. He came out of the elevator with both his hands extended to say hello.

"Ah, Herrik! I came as soon as I could," he wore a hit of a smile but his voice sounded somber while he spoke. He peered over Herrik's shoulder. "This must be Emily," he said as he looked me up and down and tried to decide what to make of me.

"Yes," Herrik replied and he swept his dour expression away and replaced it with one full of warmth and happiness. He appeared to have a tremendous amount of respect for the gentleman and I sensed that he meant a great deal to Herrik.

"Emily, this is Artur; Artur, this is Emily."

Artur held his hand out, "It's so nice to meet you!"

A smile crept across my lips and I blushed as we shook hands, "It's nice to meet you, too, sir."

"No, no...Artur! You mustn't call me anything else," his reply came quick and full of humor.

Herrik stepped aside during our introduction and Artur moved a little closer and stood directly in front of me. "May I?" he asked as he reached out and took my face in his hands. I didn't understand what he meant and glanced at Herrik. He seemed to nod, so I shrugged my agreement to whatever Artur was asking. He tilted my head this way and that then gave my eyes a thorough inspection. It felt strange and somewhat unsettling but it seemed important to Artur so I didn't make any objections or try pulling away.

"Hmm," he sighed in disappointment when he finished. "I'm sorry for what has happened. If there's anything I can do to help..." his voice trailed off and he turned back to Herrik. "May I walk with you a moment?"

"Of course."

Herrik turned and we headed back in the direction we had just come from. I walked on Herrik's left and Artur on his right. Though they didn't speak, I had the sense they were in a deep discussion and naturally I assumed it was about me. As we moved along, I kept my eyes down and ignored everything going on around me.

When we reached the garden wall Herrik paused and turned us back towards the elevator. He reached out and touched Artur on the shoulder, "Thank you for the offer."

Artur nodded expressively then gave me a weak smile, "We will do whatever we can to help you through this." He wished us a good day then Herrik led us back down the hallway. We stood quietly and waited for the elevator doors to swing back then Herrik motioned me through. As soon as the doors closed Herrik's happy expression evaporated and it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. I shrunk back into the corner and waited for my floor. Once or twice I thought he was about to speak or had something to say only to be proven wrong.

When we reached my level Herrik made me memorize the code and showed me how to use the keypad. I expected him to walk me into the apartment but without another word he pivoted and went back into the elevator. A few seconds later the lights flashed the numbers for each of the floors as Herrik rode it back down.

When it stopped, I thought about calling it back to try taking it to the garage so I could sneak away. Then I remembered the gates and the guards and realized that a simple escape would not be possible. I would need to do a lot of careful consideration and planning to get out.

Penny came rushing out of the kitchen when she heard the door; her expression full of concern. She didn't say anything but she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me close. I fretfully pulled away because her touch reminded me I might never see my mother or father or brother again.

"Please don't!" I grumbled.

"I'm sorry. You've been through a lot, believe me, I understand..." she tried a little half-smile.

"Do you?!" I asked, my anger suddenly rekindled.

We stood together awkward and silent for a moment until Penny found the courage to break the ice. "I thought you might be hungry when you got back so I made a pot of soup for us. I know it's summer and not really soup-season but nothing soothes the soul like soup!"

"I'm not hungry," I growled and brushing by her made my way to the bedroom.

"Emily?" she called after me but I refused to answer and slammed my door closed.

After throwing myself down on the bed I shut my eyes and tried to imagine it all away. I gasped and took breath after breath and fought hard not to cry. I tried not to think about my family and how sad, frustrated and angry I was. When I forced them from my mind, though, Herrik and Artur and Penny replaced them.

Penny was very sweet and I hated myself for being so harsh with her. And Artur...there was something special about him. Somehow, he seemed different from the others and I wondered what set him apart. "Maybe I'm wrong," I whispered. "Herrik seemed honest and sincere when he said he would help me and now...now..."

I tried shutting the images of him out but one persisted because it was so fresh and sensations had been so real. I closed my eyes and pictured him walking beside me in the sand. For a moment, my mind was swept back to the serenity of the beach he had shown me. The more I considered it, though, the more I resented Herrik for taking me there. "Just softening the blow, I bet! He didn't mean any of it! He knew he wouldn't let me leave!"

"Maybe that is why Daemon gave me the locket. I bet they are the ones who hurt him. He must have known that something like this might happen. Why did I leave it behind? Why didn't I remember it?" I moaned realizing I had made a horrible mistake and that the people surrounding me could not be trusted.

"Emily?" Penny rapped on my door startling me from my reflections. "Emily, I have to go out for a bit. I left the soup on the stove for you in case you get hungry. Emily? Are you okay? Please say something so I know you're alright?"

"I'm fine!"

"Oh, good! I'll be back as soon as I can. Is there anything I can get for you while I'm out?"

"No!"

I heard her sigh but she didn't persist. A minute or two later the front door opened and closed. I stayed on my bed for as long as I could stand it then got up and cautiously left the bedroom. After a few steps down the hallway I stopped and held my breath while I listened for any indication that Penny might still be there. After inspecting each of the rooms I passed I felt satisfied that I was completely alone.

I scurried to the front door and let myself out before calling the elevator. My heart raced while I waited, shifting nervously from foot to foot. Thankfully no one else was in the car when it came and it gave me a moment to study the keypad while I wondered which floor to try.

"There must be another way out! There must be! I'll go floor to floor until I find it!" I said to myself.

Down didn't seem like a good choice so I started with the floor directly above mine. I pressed the button. The doors closed. The elevator propelled itself to the next floor. The doors opened. Nothing. Another small receiving area and a door with a keypad just like mine.

I completed the process again. Floor after floor and every one of them nothing but the same scene greeted me. I almost gave up and after hitting the button for one last floor glanced up and saw the paneling above my head.

"Huh?" I exclaimed. Having seen it often enough in movies I wondered if I could remove a panel and climb through the roof of the elevator. Before I could come up with a plan for finding out the car stopped and the doors opened once more.

"Hey," a young man stepped into the car with me.

"Hi," I nervously replied.

"Up or down?"

"Uh, uh..." I had no idea where I was going and didn't have the sense to answer.

"Down it is!" the man chuckled and hit the button for the lowest level.

That was the last place I wanted to be, so I reached out and punched the button for my floor. The man flashed a quick grin at me and looked up at the numbers blinking above the door.

"Are you new here?" he glanced back over his shoulder to where I stood huddled in the corner. "I don't remember ever seeing you before."

"Uh, yes...just today actually."

"Really?!" he turned and faced me. "Well, let me be the first to welcome you. I'm Jesse."

"Emily."

"Nice to meet you, Emily."

Again, I didn't have the sense to say anything and before I knew it we were at my floor. "What should I do? What should I do?" I asked myself.

The doors started to close and Jesse reached his arm out to hold them for me, "Getting off?" he asked good-naturedly.

"Oh, yeah," I shook my head, smiled and hurried out.

"Bye?" he sounded expectant.

"Sorry," I found my voice, "it's been a crazy day and I'm a little out of it."

"Yeah," he nodded in understanding as he held the doors open, "I get it. Hey, if you need a tour guide or a friend and some company I'm on 15."

I smiled broadly and couldn't believe how lucky I was to receive the invitation. Shamelessly I replied, "I'll be sure to take you up on that offer!" then whirled away.

After the elevator doors wisped closed I used my code and casually let myself back into the apartment.

As soon as I walked in I smelled Penny's soup. She hadn't returned yet, so I made my way to the kitchen and helped myself to a bowl. It tasted wonderful and I was so hungry I slurped up two servings before I heard Penny letting herself in. She came straight to the kitchen and smiled when she saw me sitting at the island polishing off the rest of my bowl.

"How was it?"

"It was alright," I slid the stool back and walked away intending to go back to my room. I needed to come up with a plan to visit Jesse the next time I found myself alone.

"You've made a bit of a mess," Penny called after me.

I glanced back and noticed the soup I sloshed on the stove when I ladled it from the pot. There were various drips and drops spattered on the counter around my bowl as well. "Yeah. So?" I shrugged and continued to walk away.

"You should clean up after yourself," Penny helplessly called as I rounded the corner completely ignoring her.

I clenched my jaw as I walked thinking to myself that being a model citizen was the last thing I intended to do. "They shouldn't expect anything from me after forcing me to stay here against my will!"

I slammed my door again and locked it behind me. From there I walked around the room and did a thorough inspection of it and everything in it. The vents were tiny; way too small for me to shimmy into and crawl through. There weren't any doors other than the main one and the one to the closet. Except for clothes there was nothing of any significance in there either.

I checked the fireplace but it was gas-lit and the chimney only ornamental. When I finished my inspection, I stood in the middle of the room and turned myself around several times hoping something might catch my eye. The garden was the only thing that did. It was bright and sunny-looking inside. I wandered toward the glass pane that separated it from the bedroom and laid my hands on it. I rapped once or twice and based on the sound it sent back I decided the glass was very dense.

Looking around, I wondered what I might use to break it and my eyes fell on the rack of decorative utensils resting by the fireplace. I pulled a heavy rod with a hook on the end and tested its weight. For a moment, I considered giving the garden wall a whack but discarded the idea remembering that Penny was still in the apartment. Besides it was impossible to see far enough beyond the wall to tell if there was any way out of the garden once I was in it. I tucked the idea away for future use.

I couldn't come up with anything else so I sat down on the small couch in front of the fireplace and snatched the remote of the coffee table. After flipping through the channels several times and finding myself unable to settle on something to watch, I tried the stereo instead. Most of the stations were country or pop but I found one rock station and an alternative station that played something heavy and raw. The song seemed to touch a cord with me. Maybe because I felt that way myself –weighted down with fear and anger and raw with the emotional overload of everything that had happened.

I turned it up slightly, a little more. Penny came and knocked on my door, "Emily, not so loud please."

I scowled and rather than turning it down I turned it up even more. She knocked again and before Penny could utter any more protests, I went even louder. I sat back and closed my eyes and blocked everything else out. Song after song rang out and I had no idea how much time had passed.

Eventually my head started to ache and I was sure that Penny had gone away. I turned the music back down and curling my legs up onto the couch I closed my eyes again. As I lay there, a touch of guilt crept into my heart. I knew Penny wasn't at all to blame for my situation and other than my brother I had never treated anyone so badly. I couldn't help myself though.

"It doesn't matter. As long as I am here it doesn't matter whether I'm nice or not. I have nothing to feel guilty about! If anyone should feel guilty, it's Herrik!! And Carah!! And...and that brute Avery!! I hate them!! I hate them all!!" I cried again. "How can I possibly have any more tears left?" I sobbed.

It was an exhausting cry and it seemed like an eternity before I stopped gasping for breath. It wore me out and weary from it all I fell sleep.

Not long afterwards I started dreaming. I was home and we were all having dinner together. The images were so intense I was convinced they were real. I forgot all about Herrik and Penny and everything else. My father was telling us a story from work. My mom smiled while Evan tried getting my attention by repeatedly kicking me beneath the table.

"What is it Evan?" I demanded.

His face fell and he mumbled, "Nothing...I just wanted to show you something I found in your room."

I felt terrible for being angry with him, especially since it seemed like forever since I had seen him last. Despite myself I scowled at him across the table, "You shouldn't be in my room!"

"What's wrong?" my mom turned to us when she heard me and saw how angry I was.

Her voice made me realize that this wasn't how I wanted things to be. I loved my mother and my father and my brother. "Evan kicked me by mistake. He apologized," I explained. I looked across the table and said to my brother, "I'm sorry, too, Evan. I know it was a mistake and I'm not angry with you."

My mother looked at my father in total disbelief then looked back.

"Well, I'm glad you worked it out," my father smiled.

Evan breathed a sigh of relief and I flashed him a quick grin.

Not long afterwards the dream shifted and I found myself in my own room, in my own bed with my mom gently trying to wake me.

"You're going to be late for school," she said.

"School? Today? I thought it was Saturday!"

"No, sweetie, it's not. You'd better hurry or you'll miss the bus," she smiled and kissed my cheek once she felt convinced I was awake and wouldn't fall back to sleep. She stood up and walked away.

Suddenly I cried out for her afraid that if she made it through the doorway, I would never see her again.

"No!" I screamed. "No, please don't leave me!" I sprang from my bed. I tried chasing after her but as soon as my feet hit the floor someone grabbed my ankles tripping me. I fell face down on the carpet.

I tried scrambling away and calling for help but my body was full of fear and no matter how hard I fought it didn't make any difference. I couldn't find my voice and my legs were so weak and my efforts seemed completely useless.

"Where is it?" a voice hissed

I looked over my shoulder thinking I recognized the voice.

"I don't know," I screamed and dug my toes into the rug as I struggled to escape.

"It was here, here on the post! I need it! I need it to bring him back! He gave it to you! I know he did!" I couldn't see the face that the voice belonged to because whoever it was they were under my bed. They tugged and tried drawing me back to where they were hiding.

Frantically I clawed at the floor but it was no use. I rolled over and tried kicking at the face of whoever was under the bed. I caught a glimpse and thought I knew who it was. Just as I was about to make the connection, though, the world went bright and vivid and a pair of strong, caring hands wrapped themselves around me.

Penny called my name in the background as his voice whispered in my ear, "Ssh, ssh, ssh. I'm here, Emily. I'm here. It was a dream...just a dream."

"Herrik," I asked dazedly.

"Yes, Emily. It's me. It's Herrik."

"Oh," I buried my face in his shoulder, shivering and shaking while the relief washed over me.

"Is she alright?" Penny approached us and laid her hand on my back.

"She's fine. She'll be fine," Herrik assured her.

"I'll get some water," Penny pivoted and hurried away while Herrik waited for me compose myself.

It didn't take long. One minute my fear had me paralyzed the next I was on my feet and screaming at Herrik to let me go. He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation.

"Emily. If you would please let me try..."

"Leave me alone! I hate you! I...h...h..." my knees went weak.

"Good God!" Penny gasped and she dropped the glass of the water she carried. It shattered on the floor at her feet as I fainted away.

It was nighttime when I woke again. The crickets were busy chirping, the leaves rustling as they brushed against the glass. The closet light was on and the door thoughtfully left ajar. I didn't remember what happened or how I had gotten into bed and the few things I did remember jumbled together in a kaleidoscope of visions.

There was a glass of water on my nightstand and I urgently reached for it. I downed it in a single gulp and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. As I slid from the bed one thought kept repeating over and over again in my mind; I needed to get away, I was somewhere horrible and I needed to get away.

I went to the closet and after picking out the most sensible things I found, got dressed. Then I snatched a pair of shoes and tiptoed to my bedroom door and eased it open. After I slipped through the opening, I peered into the darkened rooms as I scurried toward the front door. There wasn't a single sign of anyone else in the apartment and I felt completely confident as I waited for the elevator.

When it arrived, I punched the first number that came to mind. "15."

Once the elevator came to a stop, I hopped off into the receiving area and rang the buzzer. It took a minute or so before anyone answered. I heard music and laughter coming from behind the doorway. I was about to turn and head back to my apartment thinking that whoever lived there didn't hear my ring or was too busy to see who was there. As I turned away the door swung wide and I saw a dark-haired man about Penny's age standing there. He was a little breathless but gave me a huge smile along with a look of complete surprise.

"Emily," he hurried forward and threw his arms around me. "What are you doing here?"

It slowly came back and I remembered who he was as my mind raced for an answer. "I was a little lonely and decided to drop by to see if you could use some company."

"Actually," the man glanced over his shoulder, "we were just heading out," he sounded apologetic. "We're playing tonight," he bit his lip and studied me, "but," he raised his eyes hopefully, "you're welcome to come cheer us on if you like?"

"Oh, I don't know...Penny...and..."

"Aww, come on!" the man seized my hand and pulled me into the apartment. "Hey everyone! I want you to meet someone – Emily," his smile full of charm, "this is everyone!"

Someone turned the music down as we moved towards the small crowd of people. The apartment was slightly different than mine with the living area off to the left and the kitchen off to the right. The rooms were more spacious and open and beyond the kitchen I saw the dining room and to the left of the dining room, the office or study.

I noticed that most of the people gathered in the living area were couples. Some were ordinary people like me and Jesse and others most definitely like Herrik. I received a few nods and hellos as we neared the group then everyone quieted down while Jesse introduced me to them one by one. I was terribly nervous and even though everyone was friendly enough my fear caused me to miss half their names.

Once the introductions were over Jesse excused himself, "I'll be back in a minute," he assured me and turned and headed towards the back of the apartment.

I watched him go and stood apart from the group, my eyes darting this way and that avoiding direct contact with any of the people I had just met.

"So, Emily, where are you from?" one of the girls asked me.

I turned her way and wasn't sure how to answer, "Oh, I...I...I'm a guest of Herrik's," it was the first thing that came to mind.

The room grew uncomfortably quiet and everyone seemed to turn away from me. My uneasiness intensified tenfold but fortunately Jesse came back, "I think l should leave now." I stated.

Jesse's face fell, "Oh, no, please don't go!" he looked at me imploringly. "Please," he said again, "come with us," his face bright and earnest, "we're going to Jax's to play a few sets tonight. You said you were lonely," he argued.

"Sets? Are you in a band?" the idea intrigued me and I perked up when I realized what Jesse was suggesting.

I saw a look of triumph flash in his eyes, "Yep," he nodded. "Come. Come see us play!"

More than anything that was exactly what I wanted to do but something held me back. I almost said no then someone's voice called and we all turned toward the sound, "Van's ready! Let's go!"

Jesse pecked my cheek and I lost my resolve. Before I knew it, we were all being ushered from the living room and crammed into the elevator. We exited at the garage level and everyone dispersed. Most went to the waiting van, a couple to the motorcycles while Jesse and I piled into one of the sportier cars.

I sat in the passenger's seat giddy and excited while Jesse drove. When we got to the gate, I worried that the guard wouldn't let us through but the van went first then the motorcycles; it was clear that we were all a part of the same group and when it was our turn to exit we passed right through. Jesse made small talk during the short drive and about fifteen minutes later we pulled into an alley and parked behind the van. While the others unloaded the equipment, Jesse took me in through the back door and brought me to the office.

He rapped on the door and a moment later a somewhat slovenly, older man stepped out, "Good, you're here. A little late!" he frowned.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Jesse shuffled; his voice apologetic. "It won't take long to set-up and we'll give 'em a good show. Listen," he scrutinized me for a second, "I brought my...cousin and ...uh...can I get another pass for her?"

"She looks kinda young to be at a nightclub."

"She'll stay in the back; watch from behind. No one will even know she's here," Jesse assured him.

"Hmm..." the man squinted in consternation. "Keep out of sight and any trouble...from any of you," he looked at me a long moment before turning his eyes on Jesse, "and you're out. Not just you," he pointed to me. "All of you! Understand?"

"Gotcha," Jesse nodded.

The man went back into the office and came back with the requested pass. He handed it to Jesse who looped it around my neck. Jesse led me to the stage and hopped down to the nightclub floor. He gathered a stool from a nearby table and brought it to the stage. He set it up where he thought I would be beyond the view of the crowd and had me take a seat.

Jesse jumped back down and walked the floor the entire length of the stage to make sure I couldn't be seen then came back up. He inched me back another foot or two, did another quick check, returned and said, "That should do. I have to help set-up; will you be alright? Is there anything you need?"

"Nope," my eyes alight and my face flushed with excitement.

"Great. Oh, here," he reached in his pocket and pulled out a small plastic baggy. He handed it to me and said, "You might need these," he smiled, kissed my cheek and strode away. He immediately began helping the rest of the band with the various amps, instruments and so forth.

I opened the packet and found that it contained a pair of earplugs. Smiling I tucked them into each of my ears and though it muffled the sounds, I still heard everything that was taking place around me.

It didn't seem long before they finished setting up and once they did someone drew the curtains and the nightclub filled up with patrons. The band hurried through their sound check and as the crowd took the last of the seats, Jesse approached the microphone.

My heart leapt when the audience's lights dimmed and stage lights flashed. A long, drawn out cord echoed across the club and a cheer roared up from the crowd. As the sound faded the drummer smash his sticks together to set the tempo then suddenly the curtains flew open and the band and their music came to life.

The bass thumped through me and the guitars wailed a hard and edgy tune. Jesse's voice sounded strong and melodic as it all blended together into a mesmerizing harmony. I sat on the edge of my seat while they all danced back and forth across the stage urging the audience to love and adore them and their music.

Jesse glanced over whenever he could do it without being conspicuous to see my reaction. I knew he couldn't mistake my smile and wide eyes as he belted out one song after another. Every once in a while, there were breaks between songs and Jesse would address the audience over their clapping and cheering. Then he would launch the band suddenly, almost unpredictably into something new. He was amazing and seemed to know exactly what to say to coax the audience into a greater and greater fanatic enthusiasm.

One time a girl clambered up onto the stage and threw her arms around Jesse and kissed him full on the lips. One of the security guards jumped up and tackled her before dragging her from the club. While they were carrying her away, she screamed terms of endearment back toward the stage, none of which could be heard over the music and the noise of the crowd. I laughed out loud at the crazy, zealous behavior and wondered if Jesse's shows were always like this.

When the set ended Jesse and the others told the audience they were taking a quick break. "We'll be back in 15!" Jesse called out. The curtains fell closed and though it was still quite loud beyond the stage, it seemed much quieter where I sat.

After placing the microphone back in its stand Jesse came over smiling, breathless and covered in sweat. "So, what did you think?" he held his hands out and I hopped down from the stool.

"That was incredible," I beamed.

"I'm glad you're having a good time. Do you want a drink? A water, soda or anything?"

"Actually," I glanced around, "is there a restroom anywhere?"

"Yeah, sure, let me show you."

I really didn't want him to come with me but couldn't come up with a reasonable way to refuse his offer.

"Right there," he pointed when we were close enough. "Do you need me to wait?"

"I'm sure I can find my way back," I said with a touch of sarcasm.

I trembled with excitement and my ears kept ringing as I walked into the bathroom. The songs replayed over and over again in my mind while I pictured Jesse and the other musicians as they incited the crowd and their fervor. I found an empty stall and locked the door behind me.

When I finished freshening up I walked out of the bathroom. "Now's my chance," I said to myself and rather than turning toward the stage I walked towards the office and the backdoor where we had come in.

I took a hurried step, another and tried a third but couldn't manage to pick my feet up after that. I tried looking behind me.

"Avery!" I cried out.

"Hello Emily," he said his face and voice both devoid of emotion.

## Chapter 5

I tried fighting the hold he had on me and running. Avery gave a malicious little chuckle and his grip loosened. I took several stumbling strides which brought me back towards the office and to my utter horror Carah stepped out of the doorway. Once I realized they were barring my escape in either direction, I tried screaming and calling for help.

"None of that!" Avery grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth as he shuffled me toward the back door.

It seemed senseless to struggle, so I gave into the inevitable and let them guide me away. The music started back up as Avery ushered me into the alley. I wondered how long it would take Jesse to notice I wasn't there. I knew there wasn't anything he or anyone else could do but I was desperate and needed to stay hopeful.

"Why didn't I leave as soon as I had the chance? I shouldn't have listened to Jesse and his band as long as I did. I could have been far, far away by now."

Avery glanced at me in the mirror and gave me a look that seemed to challenge the idea. I clenched my teeth and emptied my mind hoping not to give anything else away. Avery seemed surprised, "Interesting," he mumbled as Carah plopped down beside me. He adjusted the mirror and without anything further drove us back to the canyon.

Once we were in the elevator Avery brought us down to my floor. He got off with me but Carah stayed on. I imagined she was heading to Herrik's to report that she and Avery had found me and I was back at my apartment.

After I entered the code and turned the handle Avery reached forward and pushed the door open for me. I had to duck under his arm to get inside. He closed the door behind us, "Kitchen," he nodded and followed me down the hallway. I glanced back once or twice as we walked but then I realized I heard someone speaking. It made me nervous so I strained my ears and listened. It was Herrik and Penny. Their voices rose and fell intermittently but they spoke so low and hushed I didn't catch a word they said.

I stopped, too afraid to walk any further. They were the last two people I wanted to face but Avery nudged me along the hallway and wouldn't let me turn back.

"Please," Penny pleaded, "it won't happen again," were the first words of their conversation I made out.

"I'm sorry," Herrik said as I inched nearer to the kitchen. "There's nothing I can do."

My heart pounded as I watched them sitting across from one another at the island. Herrik seemed oddly calm and unemotional; unwilling to be swayed by anything Penny said as she stared across the distance between them with her eyes full of tears.

"No...please no," Penny begged. "I can't leave! Not now...not now that Emily is here and after everything that has happened!"

"Oh, God," I thought, "what have I done?!"

"There are rules Penny; it's not my decision to make. "I could have chosen anyone but you offered yourself up. You knew what I expected. By letting her leave you put Emily at a terrible risk. You put us all at a terrible risk. Exposing her might have exposed us all. What if someone recognized her or worse?"

Penny buried her face in her hands, "I know. I wasn't thinking. I...I...she...I needed a distraction. It's been very emotional for me and she's been so...!"

"You have to accept responsibility for this and whatever consequences it brings. The rules are clear and there can be no exceptions." Herrik stood up. "Tomorrow morning," he said conclusively. Penny got up intending to see him out. "Stay. All of you," he met each of our eyes one by one. He looked so disappointed and remorseful, like he felt responsible for what I had done. No matter how determined I was not to regret trying to escape I lowered my eyes and at least for Penny's sake wished I hadn't.

As he walked past, I reached out and grabbed Herrik's hand. "Please don't send Penny away," I whispered. "It wasn't her fault."

"I know," Herrik replied. He laid his hand on my cheek and tilted my face so I was looking up at him. There was something...something strange in his eyes. My heart stilled, the throbbing in my temples; the pain, the worry, my fears...everything faded and dulled.

He started to say something, thought better of it and instead simply said, "Get some rest, Emily."

It sounded like forgiveness but certainly didn't feel like it. He had so much tension in his expression, I realized I had done something irrevocable in his eyes. After he left Avery asked Penny if there was anything she needed. She shook her head no and a moment later he made his way to the front door. He stationed himself in front of it like I'd seen him do at Herrik's apartment.

I tried apologizing to Penny but she held her hand up to show how averse she was to hearing anything I had to say. "You should get ready for bed."

"But..." I started to protest then realizing the futility of it, trudged down the hallway towards my room.

The next morning when I woke it was much later than I expected. I tried to be optimistic and encouraged myself to believe that things wouldn't turn out as badly as I imagined they would. I went to the kitchen hoping to find Penny but all I found was a brief note.

There is fruit in the refrigerator and cereal in the pantry. Eat some breakfast and get ready to start your day. I will be here soon.

Love,

Penny

I pushed the note aside and found the fruit and cereal like she suggested. After eating and cleaning up I went to my room and got dressed. I fixed my hair then went back to the kitchen to wait for Penny.

The minutes passed and soon an hour had ticked by. I considered going to the living room and watching TV while I waited but my buzzer finally rang. I went to the door expecting Penny but Carah greeted me instead.

"They're ready for you," she said without ceremony. "Is there anything you need to do first?"

I looked over my shoulder and after doing a quick survey shook my head no.

"Good," she stepped toward the elevator and motioned me to follow.

Carah didn't look at me or say a single word the entire ride down. When we reached Herrik's floor we walked down the hallway towards his apartment. I noticed that there weren't any people along the way. All the offices and other rooms we passed looked completely empty. Herrik's door was wide open when we got to it and Carah led us straight in.

She took me beyond the living room and down the hallway past the garden. We turned into another long hallway and at the end lay another set of open doors. As we got closer my ears picked up the hum of dozens and dozens of voices. I slowed my pace then stopped.

"What are you waiting for?" Carah scowled at me.

"What's happening?" I asked.

Carah came towards me and tried taking my elbow but I shook it away. She moved around behind me and I thought she planned to shove me through the doorway. Avery was standing just a few feet beyond the entrance though and when he saw us his strange grip took hold of me again and forced me forward. I hated giving in but it was useless trying to fight them both. I stepped across the threshold and scanned the crowded room.

It was oval shaped and paneled in a dark, grainy wood that shined beneath a heavy polish. Chairs spiraled inwards from the walls towards a table set-up in the middle of the room. The table was also oval in shape and about 15 people were sitting around it.

One side seemed to be Herrik's kind and the other Penny's. He sat at the head and there was an empty seat to his right. Directly after that sat Artur. As I made my way towards the table I glanced at several of the faces surrounding it. I recognized Jesse and one or two others from his band. Across from them sat Carah and perhaps a few people I remembered seeing either in the hallway or common rooms at some point.

Avery pulled the empty chair beside Herrik and told me sit down. Much to my unease he stepped back afterwards and stood right behind me with his hands clasped in front of him. Everyone's eyes seemed to be on me as I took my seat and the muffled conversations from around the table died down.

Once I pulled my chair in Herrik stood up. He raised his hands and gestured everyone else to take their seats. The people standing quieted and took the outer chairs before turning towards the table.

"Thank you all for coming. We have an unfortunate circumstance to judge and the fate of two of our residents to decide. As you're all aware, our society is one of truth and discretion. We live apart from the world beyond these walls not only to protect ourselves from it but to protect it from us. It is a life lived in a delicate balance. It must be regarded as such for if any incident, however minute, were to expose what we have created here it would mean the doom of us all."

There were nods of understanding and assent all around.

"Richard," a gentleman on Penny's side of the table stood up. "One of your people has violated our trust and risked our exposure by taking an unpledged, under-aged guest of ours to an unguarded, highly public event. Emily," Herrik turned to me, "is in a very precarious situation. One of our kind," here he sighed and bowed his head. "One of my people nearly took her life then in a reckless act of contrition used his blood to coerce her from death. Neither Artur nor I yet understand the full extent or consequences of his actions but it's possible Emily is beyond our ability to help."

"What?!" my mind cried out. I looked up at Herrik full of confusion and wondered why he had said it but he was scanning the crowd. It didn't seem to make any sense for what I thought was taking place.

"I am deeply against...have always been deeply against having someone so young among us. As you all recall, though, this isn't the first time we've had to accept this type of obligation. Herrik's gaze fell on Penny. "It is our duty to protect and nurture this blameless bystander to our...predispositions," Herrik laid his hand on the back of my chair. "Though it fills me with regret I have decided that for her protection and ours Emily must stay with us. Emily must stay until we can fully guarantee her safety."

As soon as I realized what he had said I tried standing up. I wanted to shout and protest but Avery's strange force held me again and I couldn't control my actions.

I glanced around and saw that even though a few shook their heads in disagreement most were nodding and accepting Herrik's missive. It seemed clear that I would have no voice in the matter.

"With her fate decided we must turn to Jesse's."

My eyes shot across the table to where he sat near Penny and my heart and head filled with dread. Jesse stood up. Herrik took my hand as well as the person's on his left. Like a signal everyone reached to their lefts and rights and grasped the hands of the people beside them. Artur nudged me and offered me his hand. Even though he smiled and encouraged me I took it with tremendous trepidation.

My stomach leapt when I felt the conjoined thoughts of everyone we touched. Herrik's seemed the strongest and most prominent at first but they were too chaotic to make any sense of them. The other images slowly unraveled while Herrik sorted them out and brushed everything irrelevant and unimportant to the side. When he came to my mind Herrik focused on the information he wanted. Then he collectively shared my memories with everyone seated around us.

There they were; the events exactly as they happened. I stood in the hallway and rang Jesse's buzzer. After he introduced me to his friends, he invited me to his show. They heard our conversations and saw our actions from the time I showed up at his apartment until Avery delivered me back to my own. The images were crystal clear; a precise record of everything that had taken place.

When it was over the others drew away from us one by one until just me and Herrik remained. He carefully extracted himself from my thoughts and let go of my hand. Herrik took a deep breath, "You've seen. Now you must decide."

Artur stood up and looked at each of the people sitting around the table. Richard nodded then someone I didn't recognize from Jesse's side stood up and seconded his acquiescence to Artur.

"Jesse, however inadvertently and unknowingly, has forfeited his right to live among us." Artur stated.

My eyes flooded with tears as I watched Jesse's face fall in shock and disappointment. Avery seized him a moment later and led him away.

"Penny," Herrik called her to everyone's attention. She stood up and acknowledged him then sat back down.

We linked hands again but this time Herrik sifted through Penny's memories and shared them with the group. When it was over no one seemed quite sure what to do. Penny hadn't really done anything wrong other than leaving me in my apartment alone. Herrik had never specifically said that she needed to stay with me or gave any explicit instructions for her to follow. At least that seemed to be how she remembered it.

I turned to Herrik but he wouldn't look at me. He kept my hand firmly grasped in his and when I fought to get away, he squeezed it tighter sending a shiver of pain through my palm. I still sensed him like a ghost in my thoughts and it made me realize that I wasn't feeling just my own grief but his, too. It was agonizing and I felt a flood of tears threatening to spill down my cheeks.

After several minutes of indecision Artur stood up and he met the eyes of each of the people seated around the table. One by one they either nodded or shook their heads. They seemed to be taking a vote. Once I realized what was happening, I counted the yesses and no's. I tried figuring out if they would decide the same fate for Penny as they decided for Jesse.

I missed the first few responses but by the time they finished it appeared to be a split decision. Herrik was the only one who hadn't offered an answer.

Artur turned to him, "Herrik?"

Herrik shook his head no then, "No," he mumbled.

It was over. Everyone stood up and filed from the room. Whispered conversations erupted all around. Between the noise of the crowd exiting and the murmur of all their collective voices I couldn't make sense of what anyone said. It was impossible to tell whether the ruling Herrik so obviously made had satisfied or disappointed them.

"I don't understand," I leaned towards Herrik and whispered. "What's happening? What's going to happen to Penny?"

Artur stood up last and when he did, he tossed a look of disapproval to Herrik. He said a brusque goodbye to me, turned and walked away.

"What is it Herrik? What's wrong? Why is Artur so angry?"

I didn't understand; wanted desperately to know what was wrong but he wouldn't answer. "Come, I'll take you home."

I was so distraught I lost my temper and screamed at Herrik, "This will never be my home!"

He looked down at me, "I'm sure if you knew the alternative you'd be thankful to call it that."

I already imagined the worst for Penny and his expression and the way he said it that made me reel with fear, shame and anger. He didn't bother stopping me when I ran off. No one did. I made it to the elevator and punched the button for my floor over and over again until the doors finally closed and it lurched upwards.

When it reached my floor, I hopped off and saw that the door to my apartment lay open. It surprised me and I slowly walked in then called out once or twice, "Who's there? Is that you Penny?"

I waited for a response but none came. I crept along the hallway until I reached the kitchen. Though I didn't see anything unusual, I was still leery and picked my way towards my bedroom. When I turned into the hallway, I saw that the light was on and noticed there were shuffling noises coming from my room.

I peeked through the doorway and much to my surprise saw Artur and Avery walking out of my closet. They each had wads of clothes slung over their arms which they brought to my bed. They dropped their bundles one by one and went back for more.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

Avery answered with, "What does it look like?"

I knew what it looked like, it was the why I didn't understand.

"Hmm, you're not very intuitive, are you? No sense of deduction in you whatsoever." He turned back to his task.

"No, I guess not," I eyed him expectantly but he ignored me and continued working.

I looked at Artur imploringly but he refused to acknowledge me and simply began folding and packing the things from the bed into the boxes they had originally come in. I wondered what they both seemed to think I should have already known. It was obvious they were packing my things to move me somewhere else but other than that I was at a loss.

"Am I being sent to the dorms?" I asked remembering Carah had mentioned them at some point. I tried picturing them. Under the circumstances I imagined they would be more like a prison than anything else. It seemed as likely a place as any for Herrik to want to send me after what I had said and done.

Avery dumped the last of the closet's contents on the bed and started tucking them away. "You could help," he said his voice full of disapproval.

"I could and you could answer my questions." I turned intending to walk away.

Artur cocked his head at me and before I made it out of the room, he pulled me back. I thought it was Avery and opened my mouth to scream and curse all my anger and hatred at him. The next thing I knew, though, I was standing directly in front of Artur while he glared down at me. "You are a selfish, little beast of a girl, aren't you? Do you have any idea what you have done? What you have forced Herrik to do?"

"I...I..."

Artur flooded my mind with images and ruthlessly made me understand.

"Oh," I cried when I realized what was happening. "He lied...he lied to...to everyone..." I whispered. "He...he changed Penny's memories and...oh...no...no...they...they would kill him if they knew, wouldn't they?"

"Not before they killed you and Penny and anyone else Herrik has had the misfortune of protecting."

I looked from Artur to Avery who seemed to confirm everything Artur had said.

"I'm sorry," I said knowing full well that my apology was as worthless as it was meaningless to either of them.

Artur released me and went back to packing my things. Avery did the same. I went to the bed and without a word began helping them. Minutes later we stacked the boxes and carried them all to the elevator. They brought me back down to the lowest level and turned into the garden.

As we made our way along one of the paths, it split several times and I wondered over and over again where they were taking me. The garden appeared much more expansive than I had imagined. The foliage seemed to go on forever. I knew it was just an illusion, though, made by the layout and design of the garden itself. At one point, we passed a magnificent pond hemmed in on one side by ferns and tall grasses. The opposite bank lay open with several long benches dotting it here and there.

Eventually we came to what seemed like the end of the path. When I looked closely, though, I noticed there was a door standing in the middle of it a foot or so ahead of us. It had a keypad like the one at the apartments on the upper levels.

A faint tremble of understanding ran through me and though I knew it wasn't Herrik's apartment I was sure I was very near it. Artur stepped from behind me and punched a code into the keypad. I heard the lock click and release then he jostled the handle and pushed the door open.

Avery went first and I nervously stepped in behind him with Artur close on my heels. The entryway was quite wide and bathed in the soft glow from the glass garden wall which ran the entire length of the hallway on one side. The opposite wall had an array of decorations including various pictures and paintings and a large elaborate mirror that hung over a small accent table. There was a vase of dried flowers centered on the table and beyond these few decorations the apartment opened up into two large rooms.

To the left was the living area. It held all the traditional pieces – a couch, loveseat, matching chairs; all quite plush and inviting. There were end tables and a leather coffee table that could double as a settee if the need should ever arise. Like Herrik's apartment there weren't any windows but curtains hung at various points to suggest that there were.

From where we stood I couldn't make out the rest of the apartment but it didn't matter. I had already seen enough to know that it was far too elegant and sophisticated for me alone.

Whatever they were planning I was sure I wouldn't like it. Before the idea overwhelmed me, the buzzer rang. "You should get that," Artur's expression held a soft smile and hinted at an apology for his earlier outburst.

I took a deep breath, "Right," and slowly moved away from where he and Avery stood beside the boxes of my belongings.

Penny called out as soon as I opened the door, "Surprise!" she said as she stooped and hugged me.

She did surprise me, too, after everything that had so recently happened. I didn't expect to see her; I didn't expect to see her ever again and certainly not so happy and without a touch of anger towards me.

Herrik walked up behind her, "She doesn't remember," his voice seemed to echo in my mind.

"May we come in?" Penny asked.

I shook my head, "Oh, yes," I stepped aside.

"This is for you," Herrik handed me a small box, "it's not much but I wanted to be the first to welcome you to your new," he paused, "apartment."

With fumbling fingers, I took the box from him, "Thank you," I said and nervously looked away.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Penny asked.

I glanced back at Herrik as he made his way toward Artur and Avery. I felt awful for accepting the gift knowing full-well that I didn't deserve it after what he had done for me and for Penny. My heart shrunk with guilt as I peeled the wrapping away and opened the box. There were two silver candle holders in it.

"Here, let me help," Penny took a box from me so I could reach in and pull one out.

They were somewhat puzzling and I looked at Penny full of confusion.

"They are like projectors. See," she took the top off one. "The candle goes in here," she pointed, "then when you light the candle and put the top back on it casts a shadow."

I studied it for a minute, "Huh! That's really cool!" I said a bit louder than I intended and quickly checked my jubilance.

Penny smiled and motioned us down the hallway, "Isn't this wonderful?" she asked. She whirled around as she stepped into the living room marveling at it all. "When I spoke with Herrik about letting us share an apartment, I never suspected he would give us this!"

As soon as she said it I realized that must have been Herrik's plan all along; to have Penny and I live there together. It was a huge relief and swept away most of my immediate apprehension. Artur asked Herrik if he had a minute and together they moved into the living room then stood near the fireplace. They spoke in hushed voices until they noticed Penny making her way towards them.

"I can't thank you enough, Herrik!"

"You're welcome! Both of you!" he beamed as he spoke to Penny. Another spasm of shame washed over me and I wished there was a way to make up for all the mistakes I had made. In my heart, I felt like nothing would have been too much to ask if it would make Herrik forgive me and smile at me that way. "There's more to see; why don't you have a look around." Penny sent a questioning glance my way. I was anxious to get away from him and Artur so I readily agreed to the suggestion. "Whatever you do, don't mention anything that happened today. This is where the day began as far as Penny is concerned." I heard Herrik quite clearly again even though he hadn't spoken a word out loud.

"I won't," I concentrated and hoped he would somehow hear and understand.

He seemed to nod but I wasn't sure if it was for me or for Artur since they had resumed their conversation. Penny led us away and together we explored the rest of the apartment.

The garden wrapped around it on three sides and could be seen to some degree or another from just about every room. Beyond the first two rooms lay the kitchen. It was completely open so you could look into it from the living area, the study area, dining room and hallways.

The glass wall of the garden also bordered the study area which went over half the length of the apartment. Opposite the kitchen lay the dining room. It looked very formal with its long, dark table, artwork, chandelier and other furnishings. I wanted to see the bedrooms and only took a cursory glance when we walked past.

When Penny and I came to the back hallway, the common bathroom lay directly ahead of us. From there the hallway split left and right towards either of the two bedrooms; one on each end.

"You should take the one to the right," Penny said. "There's no garden wall in the other one."

"Oh, are you sure?"

She smiled and nodded.

"Thank you," I murmured humbled by her unaffected generosity. She let me lead the way and gave me a moment to appreciate it before following me in.

The walls were white with light touches of a soft grey accenting them here and there. The furnishings were also white, sleek and modern in design. It was bright; especially with the light shining in from the garden wall. It dappled the room with shadows of leaves and limbs making it feel more outdoors than in. A long row of grey and white drapes lined the glass wall. Whenever there was a need for extra privacy they could be pulled closed to shut the garden out.

It had everything my original bedroom had – fireplace, sitting area, walk-in closet and changing room but unlike my previous room it also had a large private bath.

"Gorgeous," Penny sighed.

"It is!" I thoroughly agreed. "Let's look at yours."

We whirled around and traced our way back down the hallway towards the opposite end of the apartment. I looked to my left as we walked and smiled in admiration of the well-appointed rooms. We passed the study then kitchen and I glanced in the common bathroom as we passed by. Penny chattered away while we walked. I tried listening but when the wall to my left broke again, I turned my head towards the living area. I noticed Herrik and Artur were still standing in front of the fireplace. They both seemed very animated. Though they weren't speaking out loud, their expressions and gestures seemed to suggest they were having a heated conversation.

Herrik caught me watching them and when he did, he reached out and touched Artur on the shoulder, "We can talk more about this later. I'm going to check on the girls and make sure they have everything they need."

Artur clenched his jaw and reluctantly agreed as we reached the door to Penny's room. I followed her in and while she moved around the room inspecting it, Herrik came to the doorway. He gave a quick rap before coming in, "What do you think?" he happily demanded.

"Perfect!" Penny effused.

"Is there anything I can get you before I leave?" he studied Penny first. She raised her brows and shook her head no then Herrik turned to me.

"No...no I don't think so," Herrik's generosity made me so discomfited that my words came out in a raspy whisper.

"Oh, Penny," he said as if he had just remembered, "you should try catching Artur and ask for the code. I forgot to get it before he left."

Penny hurried off without a word.

Herrik's expression changed dramatically and he took both my hands in his, "Artur is insisting that I do to you what I've done to Penny."

I began shaking and shivering certain I knew what he meant.

"I refused."

"But why..." I started to ask.

"I want you to remember. I want it to remind you to think about the consequences before you act."

My heart plummeted like a leaden weight in my chest as I looked down at my feet. He had every reason in the world to hate me and I knew it.

"I need to show you something," Herrik's voice sounded urgent. I looked up and he unexpectedly pressed his forehead to mine. "Close your eyes."

I did. He released my hands and a moment later I felt the pressure of his fingers at the back of my neck holding me in place. I fell off balance and reflexively put my hands on his hips to brace myself. Then I saw it or sensed it mostly – the little walls that built themselves up and wrapped themselves around all my thoughts. I realized what he was doing; showing me how to protect myself from the others, from anyone trying to pry into my thoughts and discover information that I didn't want to share.

"Ah," I sighed, "I see..."

"Good. Now show me."

He pulled back and all the barriers he put up crumbled. At first, I couldn't do it; I wasn't able to replicate what Herrik had done.

"It's different for everyone and not everyone has the ability to do it," Herrik whispered. "Here, try this." This time it seemed like he wrapped a shadow or a cloak around my mind that obscured everything I was thinking.

"Oh," I seemed to understand and took control of the cloak and let it swing open then wrapped it back around again.

"Excellent," he said.

My body suddenly tensed and I flushed from head to toe. I didn't dare open my eyes, couldn't bear the thought of Herrik looking at me just then. Despite all the fear, anger and hatred I continuously directed at him he was still being kind and generous to me. It made me so ashamed for everything I had done and against my inner misgivings I wanted to trust him. He was...

Penny cleared her throat from where she stood in the hallway startling me back to my senses. What I thought she might have seen horrified me. The way Herrik and I were standing together could easily be misunderstood. My fear was completely unnecessary, though. Herrik was nowhere to be found and it was just me standing dazedly in the hall with Penny nervously asking me if everything was alright.

## Chapter 6

"I'm not feeling very well," I confessed, hoping she would understand and realize I wasn't ready to talk about everything that happened.

She did her best to cheer me up and when that didn't work, she changed tactics.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"Maybe. A little, I guess." Even though I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten I was somewhat reluctant. Penny was trying so hard, though, and I didn't want to disappoint her along with everything else I'd already done.

"Why don't you go wash up and I'll see what I can put together for us?"

I trudged down the hallway and went to my bedroom. After I closed the door I walked across the room and sat on the edge of my bed. For a fleeting moment, I wanted to throw myself down on the pillows and cry again; cry and cry until it was impossible to cry any more.

"Will every day be like this?" I asked myself. "I can't do anything right! Everything I do, everything I've done...it all seems so...so wrong."

I thought about Jesse and how betrayed he must have felt when they passed judgment on him.

"What do they do to the...outcasts?" my mind couldn't come up with a better word. "Do they kill them?" I wondered. "No, Herrik would never let that happen," I said with certainty. After learning he had taken such a terrible risk to protect me and Penny, I didn't think it was possible.

"But what about, Daemon?" I wondered if they judged him the way they judged Jesse. "Or maybe he ran away before they could. He must have done something horribly wrong if Carah was trying to kill him." I clenched my jaw, "I don't like her!" and though I thought it was something I had just decided it was something I realized right from the start.

"And poor Penny!" I tried not to imagine what they might have done to her. "Herrik told me she doesn't remember. He must have made her forget; Carah said that he could do that." I wished Herrik had made me forget; forget what I had done, forget why I was there...maybe even forget my mother and father and brother so I wouldn't miss them so much.

"No," I whispered and pursed my lips. I didn't want to forget my family; they were the only happy memories I had but my heart ached to forget everything else. It didn't matter what I wanted, anyway. Herrik wouldn't take those memories from me. He told me himself, he wanted me to remember! He defied Artur and left those images just as they were; in the forefront of my mind so I would never put him or anyone else in such a difficult situation again. I would remember everything that happened today and it would remind me to think twice before ever trying to leave again. Herrik seemed well aware that I might not hesitate to put myself in jeopardy but I would never willing let anyone else get hurt at my expense.

Penny's soft rap on the door startled me, "Emily?"

"Yep, I'm coming," I hopped off the bed and took a deep breath to calm my heart then washed up and found her in the kitchen.

After we finished eating a steady stream of her friends came by with boxes full of her belongings. Most of them brought the packages to the appropriate rooms and left but a few lingered and helped her unpack. There didn't seem any reason for me to be there during these impromptu visits. Rather than staying cooped up and forced to meet any of the strange people that came by, I decided to explore the garden.

I wondered if I could find my way to the pond again thinking that would be the best place to go without worrying too much about getting lost. As soon as an opportunity presented itself I grabbed a pair of shoes and slipped out the front door.

Carah was standing several feet beyond the doorway looking across the expanse of shrubs and trees. I didn't notice her as I hopped up the walkway while tugging on my shoes and stumbled into her.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I wasn't watching where I was going and didn't expect you to be there."

"Nor did I," she grumbled.

I wasn't sure how to respond so I moved around her and started down the path I thought most likely to take me towards the pond. Much to my annoyance, Carah seemed to be headed in the same direction. It made me terribly uneasy having her trailing along behind me so when I came to a split in the path I had chosen, I broke off and changed directions. So did Carah.

"Are you following me?" my voice was full of disapproval. "I'm just going to the pond."

Carah raised her eyebrows at me, "The pond is that way," she pointed.

"Right. Thanks!" I smiled and turned in the opposite direction.

When I started walking again Carah did, too.

After a handful of strides, I turned and asked, "Are you going to the pond, too?"

Carah opened her mouth to speak, stopped, opened it again and said, "Herrik asked me to stay with you; until you learn your way around and are familiar with some of the people you're likely to meet."

It didn't take long to understand what was happening. Carah was there to make sure I didn't cause any more trouble. I wondered if it would be a permanent condition or a temporary one. The prospect of having Carah constantly on my heels made me more than resentful; another burden to add to the countless others I already had to bear.

Full of longing I looked down the path she said would lead me to the pond then back up the path toward my apartment door. Before I could decide whether to go on Artur came into view and began walking towards us.

"Emily, just the person I was looking for." A whirlwind of fear flashed through my mind as he approached. "May I walk with you a moment?"

I nodded wide-eyed and nervous.

"Where are you heading?" he asked.

I didn't have the sense or courage to answer so Carah took the initiative and replied, "The pond," she indicated the path with a toss of her head.

"Perfect," Artur smiled and got us on our way.

Of all the people I had met so far, I feared Artur the most. After he confronted me for not realizing what I had done to Herrik and Penny, I was sure he hated me, perhaps more than I believed Herrik did. Carah didn't seem to like me either, but the dislike was mutual and didn't bother me nearly as much as the others.

I was afraid to talk or do anything, really, after all the missteps I'd already made. We walked in silence while I imagined scenario after scenario why Artur would want to see me.

"Herrik has been quite generous with your new apartment. Do you like it?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Not so very long ago it was his."

"Oh?" The idea surprised me. "Why did he move?"

Carah shuffled along several feet behind us, purposefully hanging back it seemed. I wondered if Artur had told her to or if she was just being indifferent now that he had taken charge of where we were going.

"He wanted to be more...assessible. How old are you Emily?"

The question caught me off-guard, "I'll be 17 in November."

"Very good. And what grade are you in?"

"I'll be a junior this year."

"Mmm, hmm. What are your favorite subjects?"

It was an unusual conversation and thoroughly confused me. I wondered why he would take such an interest especially after all the trouble I put him and Herrik through.

I answered Artur's questions quickly and concisely. When the pond finally came into view he motioned to one of the benches. We took a seat while Carah wandered a short distance off and rested her weight against a shady tree. She acted thoroughly disinterested in everything we discussed while she waited for us to finish talking.

When Artur decided he had gleaned enough information from me he told me what it was all for. "Well, I'll have Carah take you back to your apartment. Take a few days to adjust and once you and Penny have gotten settled, I'll send someone for you so we can begin your studies."

"Studies?" I blurted out.

"Oh, yes, didn't Herrik tell you?" I shook my head. "Well, he's had a lot of other concerns these past few days," he said somewhat pointedly. "No one is idle here, young Emily. If you are not working here or out there," he motioned with his arm, "you are studying or doing whatever else you can to improve the quality of our lives. I'm sure you understand." Not fully, but I nodded anyway. "Good. Carah," Artur stood up. "What day is it?" he asked. I had no idea.

"Thursday," Carah offered.

"Monday then; I will send someone for you Monday morning."

Artur nodded a farewell to Carah and without another word stepped away. I sat in a confused paralysis as I watched him leave.

"Are you ready to go home yet?" Carah asked snapping me back to the moment.

"Yes," I sighed, "I guess I am."

I gave the pond a sweeping glance and after she pointed me in the right direction meandered back the way we had come. Carah stayed behind me though not so far that I wouldn't be able to talk to her if I wanted. The prospect of studying with Artur horrified me. I imagined he would be a ruthless teacher under the circumstances and wondered out loud, "Do you think he will ever forgive me?"

"What's that?" Carah asked.

"Oh, nothing," I tried shrugging it off.

"Forgive you for what? Artur is not one to hold a grudge."

It was a ray of hope and I brightened at Carah's confidence. Unthinkingly, I answered "For what Herrik did for me and for Penny."

"What did Herrik do for you that Artur would have any reason to be angry about? Surely not the apartment; Artur couldn't care less where anyone lives and I'm sure he wouldn't want it for himself."

As soon as she said it I realized she didn't know what had happened at the judgment. My heart shrank when I realized I might have betrayed Herrik yet again.

"It was nothing, really, just..." I tried coming up with a convincing lie. "I saw Artur arguing with Herrik; he thinks you would all be better off if I weren't here. Herrik insisted it's safer if I stay though."

Carah narrowed her eyes at me, "Yes, he would," she mumbled.

For a second I sensed that strange prickling behind my eyes and wondered if she was trying to discover whether I was telling the truth. As soon as I recognized the attempt, I used the trick Herrik had taught me and the sensation faded. Carah seemed irritated and I was sure she realized what I had done. She didn't let on though and didn't press me for any further explanations. We hardly said another word until we got back to the apartment.

"I'll be right here if you need me," she said with an odd, taunting grin as I let myself in.

I smiled back hating myself for what I may have given away and imagining all the horrible things that would happen if Carah ever found out.

"Oh, thank God, there you are!" Penny cried out when she saw me. "Why didn't you tell me you were going out? You should have left a note!"

"I'm sorry," I was so worked up about what I had said to Carah it came out in little more than a whisper. "Everyone was busy; I didn't think you'd miss me."

Penny saw how upset I was and assumed it was because of her harsh tone. "No," she said, her voice full of apology, "no, it wasn't your fault I worried. I just...Herrik asked me to look after you and he would never forgive me if anything happened to you."

"Oh," my mind cried, "if she only knew. Herrik would probably thank his lucky stars!" The idea plunged me even further into my guilt. "It won't happen again," I promised.

Penny cocked her head and studied me for a minute, "Emily, are you alright? You look a little pale."

I wished she wouldn't talk to me like that. She was so sweet and concerned; so motherly. "I'm fine," I assured her. She still looked worried so I tried explaining it away. "I... I ran into Artur while I was out and he told me I would have to start studying with him first thing Monday."

"So that's what's got you down," she smiled with relief. "School! Well, try not to imagine the worst. Artur is an excellent teacher and I'm sure you'll enjoy spending time with him."

I did not share her confidence.

There was so much I wanted to tell her, so many things I wanted to confess. I thought about how nice it would be to have her hold me and hear her say that everything would be alright. I pictured her comforting me and telling me I shouldn't take the blame for what happened. It was just a series of unfortunate events – accidents that would have been impossible to prevent. But Herrik made me promise and I had already made so many mistakes. I couldn't afford to make any more.

I needed to change the subject and looked around at all the empty boxes, "Did you get everything unpacked?"

"Mostly. There's a few odds and ends here and there but I can get to those any time," she waved her hand dismissively. "We moved your boxes to your room. I wasn't sure where you wanted everything so I didn't put anything away but I can help you if you'd like."

"No, thank you. I'll manage."

"Well, I'm here if you change your mind," Penny sighed.

I smiled weakly and went to my room. After I unpacked each of the boxes, I put my belongings away one by one. There wasn't much to do, mostly just hanging the clothes Herrik or Avery or whoever he sent out had bought me. I noticed there were several new articles I hadn't seen before and wondered if Herrik had someone expand my wardrobe while I was away with Carah and Artur. As I finished up, I came to the shirt he had given me to use for nightclothes and seeing it gave me another stab of regret.

"Please don't let anything happen to him! Please don't let Carah figure out what he did for me!" I pleaded as I buttoned it up and hung it in the far corner of the closet.

As I left the closet, I wondered what else I could do. I wasn't ready to face Penny again so soon so I stretched out on my bed and tried to extinguish all my unhappy thoughts. My nerves were wrought though and all I could think about was my slip to Carah. Every time I heard an unfamiliar sound I imagined it was her and she was coming to drag me off to the chamber where they had judged Jesse and Penny. She and all the others, would examine my thoughts and learn what Herrik had done. He would be condemned along with me and Penny. Artur and Avery would be likely be judged, too. It seemed clear that other than myself, they were the only other people aware of the deception.

"They would kill us all if they found out! And it would be all my fault!" As I berated myself, my thoughts grew darker and darker. "I am a killer! I've killed them all!" my mind insisted and my heart ached with nervousness. I missed my home and my family.

My stomach turned and lurched when I thought about them. I sprang from the bed and ran to my bathroom and heaved, once...twice...a third time. My eyes streamed, my nose ran, and I struggled to take a breath. I blacked out while my mind wandered through all the possible things to come.

I wasn't sure how much time passed but eventually I came to. Once I realized where I was and remembered what had happened I stripped myself from my clothes and threw them all in the nearby hamper. I took a shower determined to wash it all away and when I finished, I dressed in some lounge clothes and decided I had had enough. I lay down hoping sleep would relieve me from all the awful burdens I was under.

Before I got the covers up and closed my eyes, though, Penny knocked on my door. "Emily, are you hungry? I've made dinner for us."

Reluctantly I threw my feet over the edge of the bed and went to the door, "I'm really tired Penny. I can't eat right now."

"My," she said as she looked me over, "you are, aren't you? Were you sleeping? I'm sorry if I woke you."

"No, it's okay. I just got out of the shower and was about to lie down."

"Well, you go ahead and rest. I'll put a plate together and leave it in the fridge in case you wake up hungry."

"Thanks," I started to close the door.

"Goodnight," Penny's voice sounded hopeful.

I wondered if she expected me to give her a hug. "I can't," I told myself, "I can't care about her and I can't let her care about me after what I've done." "Goodnight," I called back.

I trudged back to my bed and curled myself into a ball beneath the covers. I forced my eyes closed and fought to find a happy memory to focus on hoping it would help me to fall asleep. If I slept at all, I wasn't aware of it. Throughout the night I tossed and turned. I seemed wide awake and plagued by so many vivid and disturbing images. I honestly couldn't tell if they were dreams and nightmares or just my overtaxed and anxiety-filled mind making what was actually there into something that was not.

It seemed a terribly long time before the garden brightened and birds chirped. Eventually the light chased enough of the shadows away and I could see that my floor hadn't disappeared and become an unimaginably deep abyss. I looked closely at all the objects in my room. When I was confident my shoes weren't a serpent or rodent waiting to crawl across my foot as soon as I left my bed, I threw the covers back. Then I raced from my room and all the horrors that had haunted me there throughout the night.

I went straight to the front door, swung it wide and stumbled outside gasping for breath.

"Everything alright?"

"Avery?" I looked left and right but didn't see him anywhere.

He cleared his throat and when I turned toward the sound, saw him standing next to the keypad. "Don't answer. He doesn't need to know what's wrong! He'll think you're foolish and weak," I told myself and forced a warm smile. "I needed some fresh air," I said, "I guess it will take some getting used to; being this far underground."

"It shouldn't." Avery stated matter-of-factly.

I hated being contradicted but didn't dare challenge him. My head was foggy and it would have been impossible for me to think quickly enough to match wits with him or anyone else for that matter.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" I asked.

Avery chuckled smugly, "I'm sure you can guess."

"Herrik sent you to keep an eye on me."

Avery raised his brows, "Would you rather I fetch Carah instead?"

"How does he know how I feel about Carah?!" I wondered.

"Touched a nerve, have I?"

"Why..." I started to ask then realized that I already knew why he was being so abrasive. I looked away, "I'm sorry," I mumbled and turned to head back inside.

"Sorry? Well, that makes everything all better, now doesn't it?"

I stopped in my tracks, "No," I whispered, "no it doesn't."

"I'm glad we understand one another."

"Yeah," I nodded without bothering to look back.

After the night I just spent, this was not the way I wanted to start my day. I buried my face in my hands and told myself over and over again not to cry. Once I was sure I wouldn't lose control, I went to the living room and plopped down in front of the TV. I flipped through the channels and when I didn't find anything worthwhile, I left it on a documentary about people who lived in the Arctic.

A subliminal chill ran through me so I tugged the throw off the back of the couch and wrapped myself into a cocoon. Not long afterwards the sleep that had eluded me all night finally took hold. I dozed off into a surprisingly sound slumber. An hour later, though, Penny touched me on the shoulder and I woke up screaming and fighting to free myself from the tangle the blanket had become.

"Whoa, Emily, easy! Are you alright? Were you having a bad dream?"

"Penny? Oh, I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! I know it doesn't change anything but...but..." I blubbered.

"Ssh, Emily, ssh. There's nothing for you to apologize for."

"Oh, but there is!" I insisted. Before I could say anything more, the buzzer rang and we heard Avery calling out to us from beyond the front door.

"I'll be right back," Penny assured me.

She went to the door and let Avery in.

"I heard a scream!" he looked from Penny to me and back again.

"Emily had a bad dream," Penny explained. "Everything's fine." Then realizing the strangeness of Avery being there, "What are you doing here?"

Avery's jaw clenched, "I was just passing by and..."

"Ah," Penny nodded in relief. "Herrik sent you to make sure we were comfortable and had everything we needed," Penny quickly deduced. "Well, everything's fine. You can tell him we are doing quite well and we'll be sure to let him know if we think of anything."

Penny looked at him expectantly, then down the hall towards the front door. Avery caught my eye and shot me a warning look. I wondered if he knew what I had been about to do. I looked away and shortly afterwards heard his steps as he went to the front door and let himself out.

Penny came back and sat down beside me, "Are you sure you're alright?" she asked. "I know it's overwhelming, Emily and it will take time for you to adjust. I will help you however I can but trust me, you will learn to love it here. Everything seems so foreign to you right now. Nothing is where you expect it to be and you have to meet new people and make new friends but it will pass, Emily. You'll see."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded.

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"No, thank you." Nothing could tempt me to eat just then. Besides Penny's natural generosity was gnawing away at me. Hungry or not I couldn't bring myself to accept her offer.

"Emily," her voice full of disapproval, "you didn't eat any dinner and you clearly haven't slept well. You need to eat something or you'll waste away."

I shrugged, "I'll have some cereal."

"Cereal? I could go for some eggs myself; how do you like yours?" she asked, determined to get me to eat. "Do you like them spicy? My mom used to make scrambled eggs for us. When she did, she would put salsa in them so they were nice and spicy...mmm."

It didn't sound so mmm to me but I agreed to her suggestion rather than argue and offered to help.

"Sure, but wash up first."

It didn't take long between the two of us, even though Penny had to stop once or twice to help me with what I was working on. I had never really cooked for myself; both my parents worked and it was either a bowl of cereal or something from the toaster most mornings. It felt somewhat strange, too, to be sitting down to an unhurried breakfast. It was nice not having to worry about buses or carpool or listening to my mother complain about dry cleaning or the hundred other errands she needed to do before or after work.

Penny made coffee and I asked if I could try some. It smelled so good; warm and comforting and I knew people drank it to help stay awake and alert which I figured would be useful after the sleepless night I spent.

She poured me half a mug and had me take a sip black first. It tasted dark and bitter, much like the way I felt and my face soured at the taste of it. Penny laughed at my expression, "Yep, that's how I expected you to react!" She sweetened it with cream and sugar for me.

"Ooh, that's so much better," I smiled over the rim and privately wished there was a way to add a little cream and sugar to my life.

I finished the coffee well before the eggs. It filled me up more than I expected and though Penny prodded me to eat more, she gave into my proclamations that I just wasn't hungry. She let me clear our plates away before I excused myself to get ready to start our day.

When I was done Penny suggested we venture out so I could learn my way around. Since there wasn't anything else to do I readily agreed. I saw Avery as we left the apartment but somehow Penny didn't notice him. It surprised me when instead of following us he stood his ground. Apparently, it didn't matter who I was with as long as I was with someone.

Penny ended up taking me on a lengthy tour of all the common areas. She introduced me to everyone she knew and pointed out others that she just recognized. Judging by the people we met I decided Penny was very well-liked.

I, on the other hand, was new and though everyone acted friendly, it seemed like there was a touch of suspicion in their regard. It was bearable most of the time but once or twice I needed to excuse myself from a conversation Penny struck up. I would pretend something had caught my eye and wander away to settle my curiosity. Penny would finish her chat shortly afterwards, politely mentioning that she needed to get back to me but hoped she would see them again soon.

"You needn't be so shy," she said at one point. "The sooner you get to know everyone the sooner you'll feel at home here."

I didn't think I would ever feel at home there. Other than Penny there weren't any other people there like me. Well, there were on the upper levels but it seemed unlikely I would be allowed to meet any of them. Either way I was the youngest person there and I doubted very much anyone was even close to my age.

After mid-day, the effects of not getting a good, night's sleep began to wear on me. I started yawning and zoning out. I rubbed my eyes and shuffled my feet. When she noticed Penny finally led us home where we quietly passed the rest of the day.

By evening, I could barely keep my eyes open and my exhaustion made me forget all my fear and apprehension. I gladly went to bed as soon as Penny suggested it.

## Chapter 7

Unfortunately, this night wasn't much better than the last. I managed a few fitful bouts of sleep but mostly tossed and turned. I fretted over every, tiny detail of my day. Every face I saw flashed before my eyes, every word I spoke I questioned whether I should have spoken it. The idea that I wasn't using the trick Herrik had taught me to cloak my thoughts terrified me. It seemed like everything was right there on the surface of my mind for anyone to come along and pluck away.

I intermittently slept, panicked and recovered only to repeat the process over and over again. When morning finally came, I accepted the fact that sleep had escaped me yet again and got up.

Rather than waiting for Penny, I dressed and guessing it would be an hour or more before she woke I decided to take a stroll through the garden. I left a note explaining where I was and when I expected to be back. Carah was standing outside the front door when I stepped out and for a moment I considered turning back. I figured it would only confirm that I had something to hide, though, so I decided I'd better not change my plans.

I made an extra effort to keep my thoughts hidden and smiling cheerfully offered her a gracious good morning then got on my way. It was so beautiful in the garden first thing in the morning. The birds flitted here and there, the grass was dappled with dew, and little tendrils of fog drifted across the pond. It surprised me when I found myself there and realized I must have somehow remembered the way. As I gazed across the smooth surface, I noticed a door on the far side and wondered where it would lead to.

I decided to find out.

Carah followed me; trailing several yards behind but when we were near enough for her to guess where I was heading she called out for me to stop.

"I doubt Herrik would enjoy a visit from you right now."

"Oh, is that whose door it is?"

"There are only two apartments in the garden; yours and his."

I didn't know that.

"There's no keypad?"

Carah guffawed, "Herrik doesn't need one."

I frowned wondering what she meant. She was impossible to read. Other than angry I could never tell what she was thinking. It didn't really matter, I would never willingly visit Herrik, anyway. The idea of facing him horrified me. I was sure he would sense it even if no one else seemed to; somehow, he would know that I more or less confessed his cover-up to Carah.

We turned and walked several yards towards the opposite end of the pond. A moment later I stopped and glanced back. I'm not sure what possessed me to stand there staring at his door. I wanted to wait for him, though. I expected him and sure enough a moment later the door opened. Artur came first then Herrik directly behind him. They smiled and laughed as they talked.

Seeing them in such good moods made me smile, too. Artur noticed me watching from where we stood. I fearfully dropped my gaze and wanted to hurry away but Artur called to Carah asking if we would join them for a minute.

"Penny's waiting for me," I urged Carah to decline.

"Nonsense," she saw how nervous I was and looked like she would enjoy forcing me to face them.

She spun me around and marched me back the way we had come. Herrik said good morning to each of us and Artur did the same. "Will you come in or would you rather walk?"

Carah looked at me for an answer.

"Oh, walk I guess."

Herrik held his arm out indicating I should lead the way. As I started towards the opposite side of the pond again, Artur matched his pace with mine and Herrik fell in with Carah.

"How are you adjusting to the new apartment?" Artur politely asked.

I kept my eyes on my feet so I wouldn't have to look at him. "It's very beautiful. Thank you," I answered.

"Herrik may have already asked but is there anything you need?"

"Oh, no. Nothing at all."

When he didn't say anything else I raised my eyes. Artur seemed to be searching for something to say or hoping I would find a topic. I was too flustered to think clearly with Herrik just a few steps behind us and didn't dare offer up any of my thoughts.

Artur recognized my trepidation and tried again, "Have you used your candleholders yet?"

I blushed scarlet, "I...I..."

Artur chuckled, "You forgot all about them, didn't you?"

"Yes," I confessed. I chanced a glance back at Herrik hoping he wouldn't be disappointed I hadn't remembered to try his gift. He either hadn't heard or pretended not to have. He continued walking and talking quietly with Carah. My heart stopped when I caught his eye. He looked stunning, absolutely, "Radiant," I thought in the misty morning light of the garden. I shook my head to clear it. "I will remember tonight, though, I promise."

Herrik's face hinted at a smile, "Artur tells me you are going to be studying together."

"Yes. On Monday."

"Good," Herrik said with a touch of humor. Then he added more to Artur than anyone else, "He's been becoming a bit of a deadweight around here. It's time enough he's had something to do!" Then I discerned Herrik's voice in my head, "Other than lecture me, that is." There was a faint chuckle that went along with it.

"I've much and more to do, thank you! And lecturing you is only a very small part of it!"

Herrik let out a slight guffaw when he said it.

It seemed like Artur and I had both heard his private aside. I wondered if he meant to include me or if it had been a mistake. Then I worried that Herrik might be able to hear my thoughts, too. "Does he know?" I panicked. If he did he didn't let on.

After another minute or so we stopped at a turning point in the middle of the path. The four of us stood grouped together and Herrik looked at me. "Well, I won't keep you in your last few moments of freedom. I was about to tell Carah, though, that I would like her to work with you, too."

My face fell. I couldn't imagine what I would need to learn from Carah.

"Self-defense," Herrik answered my confused expression.

Neither Carah nor I seemed very pleased with the idea. She looked as ready to protest as I was. I shifted nervously and tried to come up with an excuse worthy of keeping me from what Herrik proposed. Before either Carah or I could voice any of our objections Artur spared both of us from pleading against it.

"Avery might be a more suitable choice," he said. Herrik looked surprised but Artur went on to explain, "Emily is small and slight, his style would be a better fit than Carah's."

"Yes, perhaps you're right. Avery then," he said decidedly. "Artur, Carah would you give us a moment?"

"Oh, no!" my mind exploded with fear as they both stepped away.

Herrik looked at me curiously, "Is there something wrong, Emily?"

"No, not at all," I stuttered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep," I nodded.

He didn't seem convinced but he didn't push me to say anything I wasn't willing to say either. "Well, I want you to understand that you are no longer a guest here; you are one of us now and if there's anything you need I want you to come to me. My door is always open."

He looked sincere both in his offer and his concern but my mind insisted it was only perfunctory and there wasn't any real merit to it.

"Thank you," I mumbled certain he didn't want me to and that I would never take him up on it.

Herrik seemed satisfied with my response. He motioned to Artur and they slowly walked away. I was ready to head home myself but was a little turned around by then and needed Carah to point me in the right direction. I had a lot to think about and was anxious to be alone so I kept a quick pace. We arrived just as Penny was setting breakfast out. I knew I wouldn't be able to eat anything and offered a weak excuse.

"I had a bowl of cereal before I went out," I lied. "Maybe I'll be hungry again later."

"Oh," Penny sighed in dismay. "Are you sure you can't eat?"

"I'm sure," I said and rather than face any more questioning I went straight to my room.

The day passed along with another restless night. I was so exhausted and grief stricken that everything I did or said became an automatic response, done completely without thought. Penny prodded me to eat, so I ate what little I could. She would strike up a conversation and my brief replies came with almost no additional information. When I woke up I dressed in whatever was handy, then walked in the garden always towards the pond. I would look longingly toward Herrik's door, turn and continue on. At night, I closed my eyes and lay awake with all my demons.

When Monday morning came a new dread filled me – spending the day studying with Artur. He sent Avery to fetch me hours after I had woken and taken my walk.

Penny answered the door when the buzzer rang. Avery explained why he was there and while they waited for me she reminded Avery that I needed to eat. She asked if he would be able to bring me home for lunch and if not made him promise to mention it to Artur.

"Of course," Avery assured her as I said goodbye.

Avery pointed down the path I needed to take and followed behind me. I felt like a criminal being marched off to be drawn and quartered for some horrific offence I unknowingly committed. Avery didn't talk except to keep me headed in the right direction and though I asked several questions, received only one or two-word answers. He acted so gruff that for a moment I regretted Artur's interference when he told Herrik I should work with Avery rather than Carah. As we made our way toward the elevators I became thoroughly conscious of how uncomfortable a teacher Avery was destined to be. I couldn't decide which was the lesser of the two evils; Carah, with her abrasive manners and tactless way of speaking, or Avery with his cold, calculated disregard. My overall dislike of Carah was much stronger than my fear of Avery's brooding menace, though. That, at least I understood, or thought I understood. I sighed to myself with resignation as we stepped into the car.

Artur's rooms were on the level above Herrik's. Once we were beyond the garden and on the elevator, it was less than a minute before we were at his entryway and ringing his buzzer. He answered almost at once and after saying hello to each of us nodded a dismissal to Avery.

"I'll let you know when we're done."

"Penny wanted me to remind you that she needs to eat."

"Yes, yes, of course. If we are not done in time, I will send you for something," Artur waved him away and closed the door without waiting for a response.

"Ah, Emily," he said and looked me over.

It was terribly unsettling being there alone with him and I wasn't sure what to expect or what he expected of me. I looked around the room while I waited for him to offer some indication.

"Come," Artur finally said. He laid his hand on my shoulder spinning down the hallway towards his study. "You and I, we have not gotten off to a very good start have we?" There was nothing I could say that wouldn't sound like a lie so I didn't say anything at all. "I'm sorry for the way I have treated you," he said as we walked. "You have had a great many burdens already and I had no right to add to them. I didn't mean to upset you and I don't want you to feel like you've done anything wrong. Herrik either for that matter."

It was hard for me to hear and I had to force the swell of tears pooling in my eyes back.

"What's done is done," Artur went on, "and even though we don't yet know the why, I honestly believe everything happens for a reason." He stopped and faced me, "I want us to be friends, Emily. If there is any way we can put our initial feelings behind us and start again, that is where I would like us to begin; as friends."

It sounded like something my father would say! I nodded nervously and agreed.

Artur took a deep breath. I could tell he doubted my sincerity and even though he sighed and pursed his lips, his expression lost a lot of the seriousness it typically carried. He held a chair for me and I eased myself into it as he took the one across from me.

"Did you sleep well?" he must have been hoping to put me at ease but it caught me off guard.

"Uh, um," I stuttered. "No," I wanted to blurt out. Even in my distressed state of mind I knew the correct answer though and offered it up, "I guess so."

"Ah," he sighed and smiled, "I miss sleeping."

"You don't sleep," I asked somewhat awed and intrigued by the idea.

"Well, I rest but not the way you do," he chuckled. "I just sort of shut down...my awareness fades, my mind goes blank and...well, I guess that's it. Then there's nothing...no dreams, no tossing or turning, no waking up to go to the bathroom," he laughed.

I tried to imagine what it would be like. The prospect of not dreaming sounded enticing. Especially considering that the few bits of sleep I managed to snag each night were as terrifying as the waking nightmares I'd been having. I longed to sleep...to sleep soundly again.

"Is it like that for everyone?" I asked, my curiosity piqued by the idea of not having dreams.

"Yes, I believe it is. I've never heard anyone say anything any differently." He cocked his head at me and grinned, "You smell like cinnamon; what did you have for breakfast?" his eyes widened and he looked eager to hear my response.

"Penny made French toast for us. She put cinnamon and nutmeg in the batter so they were a little spicy and we had sausage and fruit, too."

"Oh," Artur raised his eyes to the heavens. "That sounds delicious!"

"It was actually pretty good." I only had a handful of bites but Artur's enthusiasm made me realize I might have enjoyed eating more if only I felt better.

Somehow, he had managed to break the ice with this unexpected conversation. After a few more minutes of idle chatter we finally got around to talking about what he expected to teach me.

He went to one of the bookshelves and brought several large texts back with him. Artur laid them in front of me and sat down. "So, I would like to give you a full curriculum; math, science, history, English, but there are other important things for you to learn, too. Are you interested in an instrument?"

I frowned, "No...not really..."

"Piano then."

I tried hiding my disappointment.

"No, not piano?"

"It's okay, I just didn't think I would have to...I didn't realize..."

"Don't worry, it won't be nearly as bad as you imagine!" Artur smiled mischievously. "We can cheat a little," and I sensed him giving me a kind of demonstration in my mind.

I reflexively threw my defenses up before I realized what he was suggesting.

"We'll work on that when we trust one another a bit better."

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

"Nope, no need. It's better to act than to regret your inactions," he said conclusively. "Herrik wants you to work with Avery, too. Would you rather spend the mornings with him or afternoons?"

It didn't really matter to me either way, everything else Artur proposed already overwhelmed me.

"You look terrified. It sounds like a lot but you're going to surprise yourself with how much you're capable of!" Artur insisted. "You've had a remarkable experience and judging from what Herrik has told me you are a remarkable girl," I colored at the commendation.

I wasn't sure if Artur believed it or if he was simply saying it to strengthen the goodwill I had begun to feel towards him.

We spoke for a few more minutes, not so much about what he wanted and expected me to learn. Mostly it was about myself and what my life had been like prior to my experiences there. It was hard to believe how easy he was to talk to. He seemed genuinely interested in everything I had to say so I said a lot more than I thought I would. As lunchtime drew near he remembered Avery's warning from Penny and offered to take me back to the garden.

Avery stood waiting for us at the main entryway. Before he said goodbye, Artur tucked a scrap of paper into my hand. To my disappointment it had notes of what he wanted me to go over in each of the texts before we met again in the morning.

## Chapter 8

Despite my reservations Artur proved to be an excellent teacher. He was witty and fun and understood that I would grasp certain things quicker than others. He also seemed to anticipate my limitations and always found the best approach for me to learn whatever lesson he intended to teach me.

Though I hadn't completely gotten over my fear of him, he was the only person I felt at ease with other than Penny. I wanted to stay on his good side so I worked hard hoping it would keep our relationship steady and amicable. As we became closer I realized that it was also because I wanted to impress him as a student. I accepted all his ideas and recommendations for what I should study without any objections. Unfortunately, Artur misconstrued this for an eagerness to learn and as a result, he worked me harder and harder each day.

There were so many times when I wanted to speak up and tell him that the workload was overwhelming but I never found the courage. Studying so hard only contributed to my sleepless nights and my inability to eat more than a few scanty bites here and there. Coupled with the misery of missing my family and the physical pain that Avery and Carah persistently inflicted on me during our training sessions, it only added to my despair. My experiences were leading me to believe that I just wasn't capable of living in their strange, preternatural world.

With each day that passed I did my best to keep a happy exterior. I was so exhausted and mentally taxed by the time Artur sent me home at night, though, Penny couldn't help noticing something was seriously wrong. When she asked I shrugged and said I didn't know; that I was just tired.

After a few similar days in a row she privately implored Artur not to overwork me. She insisted that despite my readiness to learn I needed time to rest, relax, to be young and have fun, too.

His answer to her concern was simple and dismissive, "Herrik has approved of everything in her schedule and Emily has made no complaints."

That night when I went home I could barely keep my eyes open through dinner. As soon as I finished eating I asked to be excused so I could get ready for bed.

"Of course," Penny reached across the kitchen table and caressed my hand in understanding.

I trudged to my room utterly weak and weary. Halfway through my shower I began crying; sobbing uncontrollably and shaking with exhaustion. That strange emotional deprivation you feel when you honestly believe that no one in the world cares about you seized me. I sat down and let myself cry until I finally regained my composure and toweled off.

Before I went to bed, I lit two candles and put them in each of the holders Herrik had given me then slipped beneath the covers. For the first time since I could remember I slept. I slept and I dreamt. In my dream I was someone else, someone who seemed quite familiar with the compound and the layout of the garden and all its paths.

It was nighttime, or the edge of nighttime very close to dawn. As I wandered through the garden, I realized I was on the path that would lead me to Herrik's door. I seemed confident, like this was something I had done quite often and that I had a good reason and knew exactly where I was going. I strode through the door to his apartment and down the hallway that led to the oval meeting room. After walking up to one of the panels I pressed my palms flat against it and the entire panel popped open to reveal an elevator door.

I punched the button to call the car and waited patiently until the door slid open. It seemed much smaller than the main elevator beyond the garden – designed to carry only one or two people. After I stepped inside I reached out and pressed a button on the control panel set apart at the top from all the others. It had a strange symbol on it, like a hieroglyph or some other ancient text.

I leaned against the back wall while the elevator went up and watched the light indicating the number of the floor flashing on the screen above the door. Eventually the garage floor lit up. A minute or more passed and the number stayed lit but the elevator kept climbing upwards. Several more seconds passed then I noticed the car slowing and finally the light changed and the strange symbol lit up on the display.

When the door opened and I could see out of the elevator, it appeared similar to the receiving areas at the entrances to the apartments. The doorway, though, rather than being directly in front of me was up a short flight of stairs and built into the ceiling. I knew the code and punched it into the keypad. The door swung upward and open and there above me lay the night sky dotted with stars and dappled with clouds crisscrossing before a sliver of the moon.

"Ah," I, or whoever I was sighed while taking a deep breath of the night air.

It was such a vivid dream, such a realistic experience that I woke up with a start. It filled me with longing and I hopped from my bed determined to find out if such a thing existed. I got dressed and hurried from my room.

"Avery!" I reminded myself as I reached for the handle on the front door.

I used Herrik's trick and cloaked my mind then cautiously pulled the door open inch by inch. Much to my amazement he wasn't there. Neither was Carah. I scanned the perimeter of the apartment and realized I was all alone. It was hard to make out the paths in the dim light. I tried imagining it was daytime and I was on my typical morning stroll which would take me to the pond.

Before I knew it, I was there and weaving my way around the water's edge to Herrik's apartment. "My door is always open," he had said and sure enough the handle turned quite easily. I pulled the door wide enough to squeeze through and slipped inside.

It took me a moment to get my bearings but I found the hallway that would bring me to the meeting room. Surprisingly, I had no fear. I didn't worry about being caught or getting in trouble or have any concerns other than to get to the elevator and get outside.

I found the panel and called the car. Everything was exactly as I dreamt it would be. Up and up I went, soon the garage floor lit up and for a long, drawn-out moment it stayed lit. Afterwards the strange symbol brightened and the elevator came to a stop.

Smiling I stepped into the receiving area and walked up the stairs. I closed my eyes and pictured the code then entered it into the keypad.

"Oh," I gasped completely elated when the door swung open.

I had to blink and shade my eyes, it was so bright and sunny. It wasn't dawn as I had imagined it in my dream. It seemed to be just the opposite; late afternoon or early dusk. The air was cool, crisp and fall-like. I filled my lungs with it appreciatively then climbed the rest of the way out.

When my eyes adjusted and I could finally stand the brightness I spun around and took in the entire scene. I was in a small field on what I imagined to be the summit of the canyon. There was nothing all that remarkable about it. It was level and grassy and I only saw one tree with an expanse of foliage that seemed ready to change into its autumn color. There was also a large boulder resting precariously close to the edge where the field suddenly dropped off.

For a long while all I could do was marvel at the idea that I was outdoors. Then I explored the perimeter of the field and looked over the edge of the plateau. The sides leading up to the field were rough-looking with very little slope to them. As I explored further from the door, I found a small section of ground that had a set of well-worn tire tracks in it. When I went to investigate them, I saw they were on a gravel road that ended there at the summit. Other than the elevator it was likely to be the only way anyone could have gotten from the canyon up to where I stood.

The sun began to set and I decided to enjoy the sight while I considered my circumstances. I walked to the edge of the summit and sat on the boulder with my feet dangling down towards the canyon below. The road seemed the safest route if I wanted to escape. I pictured myself following it while keeping myself concealed among the weeds and shrubs off to either side.

"And then what? Where would I go if I actually managed to get beyond the compound and the canyon? How far is it to town? Would I find anyone to help me once, if, I got there?"

In my mind, I pictured a happy reunion with my mother, father and brother. I saw them clearly, welcoming me home with hugs and tears of disbelief and joy.

It filled me with determination, "I'm going home!" I asserted and pushed myself to standing.

"And what do you imagine will happen to you if you do? You're in no condition to go home and what would you tell your family if you did?"

"Oh, God!" I remembered Herrik's warning. I had almost forgotten but the memory forced itself to the surface of my mind.

All my happy thoughts faded just like the sun as it dropped lower and lower in the sky above me.

"I can't leave!" my mind cried out in sudden awareness. "They'll find me and when they do, they'll find my family, too!"

I was just as trapped by freedom as I was by Herrik and his people.

"But I can't live like this either," I told myself and my mind clung to the notion while every other thought that followed amplified the idea.

All the horrible things that had happened to me from the moment I met Daemon to where I found myself standing at that particular instant replayed in my mind. Then I realized there was only one way to truly escape. That incredible loneliness I experienced in the shower swept over me again. I stood up and I closed my eyes.

"Emily! Emily! No! Don't!" Herrik's voice echoed across the field.

I involuntarily shook at the sound and lost my footing. I didn't fall though. Instead I felt myself being tackled and tumbling across the field crushed against Herrik's chest.

When we stopped rolling and I realized what had happened, I cursed him over and over again while I struggled to free myself.

All the emotions I had been keeping so carefully bottled up spilled out. "Let me go! I don't belong here! You're all monsters! Let me go!" I fought with a fearless determination to achieve the fate I had decided for myself.

Then suddenly my mind was not my own; I couldn't control my thoughts or actions. Everything went limp and lifeless. My eyes closed and Herrik lifted me up and began walking towards the elevator. There seemed a strange lucidity to everything that occurred after that. I was conscious and aware of what was taking place but completely immobilized and unable to react to any of it.

Herrik's lips brushed against my temple as he carried me, "I'm sorry," he whispered. "This is my fault. I should have known you weren't well. I should have known what a poor substitute this is for the life you were meant to have."

The elevator brought us down to his apartment. Artur and Avery, Carah and Penny all stood gathered in Herrik's living room.

Penny gasped and covered her mouth when she saw us, "Is she...?"

"Where was she?" Artur questioned.

"Get out. All of you."

"We looked everywhere!" Carah insisted. "None of us could find any sense of her anywhere."

"GET OUT!"

Avery, Carah and Penny visibly cowed as they all looked at Artur who nodded, "Bar the doors," he said to Carah and Avery. Then he approached Herrik where he stood with me in his arms, "Let me urge you to think carefully before you do anything you might regret."

"Leave!" Herrik insisted.

Once they were gone and Herrik was certain we were alone, he brought me to his bedroom and arranged me beneath the covers of his bed. He started pacing back and forth, back and forth. He stopped once or twice and stared in complete confusion at me. Soon afterwards he seemed to come to a decision. He drew a chair up beside the bed and after wrapping his fingers in mine he laid the palm of his free hand across my forehead.

Herrik carefully examined everything that had led up to that moment. Every horrific, restless night, every unfinished meal, the fear, the unwelcome, my lessons; even the dread that I had exposed his cover-up to Carah and the anxiety I carried for him and everyone else involved.

"Oh, Emily," he squeezed my fingers when he had seen enough. "What have I done? I am the one who should be begging you for forgiveness not the other way around." He bent his lips to my ear, "Come with me," he whispered.

The world fell away.

I seemed to wake up, my eyes fluttered and I yawned and stretched. Herrik was the first thing I saw. He was standing to the right of a fireplace with a roaring blaze crackling in its grate. He was facing me but had his head bowed as he stared in consternation at the floor. I sat up and looked around the room trying to remember where I was and how I had gotten there. There was a luscious, sheepskin throw wrapped loosely around me and I ran my fingers over the soft fibers as I urged it down around my waist.

Other than the sizzle and pop from the fire it was utterly quiet and peaceful. My eyes fell on one of the windows. The curtains lay open and I saw that it was snowing outside which added to the hush of the cabin we were in.

"Herrik," I called when I realized he hadn't noticed I had woken.

He raised his head and smiled, a generous, loving yet sad and apologetic smile. "Yes, Emily?"

"Where are we?"

His face brightened, "Just away...away from it all," he moved towards me and took a seat on the couch beside me. He gathered up my feet and tucked my legs over his. "I brought you here to rest. You need to rest and leave all your worries behind."

"Mmm, rest," I grinned at the suggestion and laid my head back down.

Herrik leaned over and pulled the blanket back up to my chin. "Yes, rest," he whispered.

I freed one of my hands from beneath the folds of the blanket which he knowingly took. Herrik caressed my fingers until my breathing relaxed and my heart slowed and my mind drifted off into a deep, deep sleep.

I don't know how long I slept or whether Herrik was with me the entire time I rested but he was thankfully there when I woke. It seemed late and I panicked just before I opened my eyes believing I was in my apartment and had overslept and that Artur expected me. I threw the covers back and nearly leapt from the bed.

"Ssh. No. Emily, no." Herrik placed his hands on my shoulders and looking into my eyes told me to take it easy. "Relax," he said, "there is no where you need to be."

It all came back and I tried kicking myself away from him. His face fell and I sensed Herrik taking hold of me again the way he had when I tried getting away from him above the canyon.

"Please calm down, Emily. Please don't make me do this," his voice cracked.

"Why? Why should I? You hate me! You all hate me!"

"Is that really what you think?"

"I...I...no," I mumbled. I didn't believe it at all. But I couldn't keep myself from thinking it. Herrik's expression softened and the smile he gave me was oddly comforting. He seemed to understand what I was going through, and everything I'd been feeling. I knew he wanted to help me and I let down my guard.

"That's right," he nodded. "I do want to help you. You know we don't hate you, Emily. You know you only feel that way because you think you deserve to be hated by us; that you have betrayed me and Artur and Penny and Avery...and your family."

I gasped. He was absolutely right. That was my biggest regret of all the things I had done, putting my family at risk was the one weighing most heavily on me.

"You don't have to worry about them, Emily. I promise you. No harm will ever come to your family as long as you are with us. They are always in my thoughts just as they are in yours. We have people in all walks of life here and I've made sure that someone is always watching over them. Some they call friends and neighbors, others delivery men or women, the police, teachers. There is never a given moment in any day that I don't know they are safe."

"You've done that. For me?"

"Yes," Herrik assured me.

The relief this news brought washed over me and when Herrik saw the tension slip away, he released his hold on me. I threw myself around his neck.

"I'm sorry; so sorry for all the mistakes I've made."

"You don't have to apologize, Emily," he assured me, his voice muffled by my hair. "I am the one who should be apologizing to you. I gave you my word I would help you and it seems I have more than neglected my promise."

The statement confused me.

"Why didn't you tell me, or Penny or anyone how troubled you were?"

"I...I..."

"You haven't been able to sleep or eat, your days are filled with fear and your nights plagued by ghosts and demons. You should have come to me...I wish you had come to me," Herrik pried himself loose and sat down beside me. "Do you have any idea why you've been so distraught? Surely you must have realized there was something quite unnatural about the way you've been feeling."

I shook my head.

"No, of course not," Herrik bit his lip and sighed. He laid his hand over my heart and cocked his head as though he listened to some surreptitious story it told. "It was too much...too much for someone so young. There was still so much life in you," he closed his eyes, "and it fought so valiantly...your life - it still fights. Daemon's blood should have killed you...should have crushed that last little ember it fought so hard to destroy."

"What are you saying? Am I dying? Will I be like you someday?"

"No...no...but Daemon's blood...it's still there...it couldn't...it can't take your life but it can encourage you to take your own. Don't you see...that's what it's done...what it's doing?"

"OH!" my eyes went wide with understanding. It all made some strange supernatural sense. "How...?"

Herrik knew what I wanted to ask, "I can only think of one way, Emily."

"You need to take it from me...Daemon's blood."

"I'm not sure if it's possible...but, yes, I believe it may be the only way."

I looked up and studied his expression. He seemed nervous; not at all the confident, imposing man I had grown to think of him as but I trusted him. I sat with my hands folded in my lap while I contemplated what Herrik suggested.

"OK," I said and closed my eyes in expectation.

Herrik laughed out loud. It surprised me and smiling I opened my eyes, "What?"

"Not now, Emily. Not like this!"

I shrugged, "Then how?"

"Here," he clasped my hand in his, "let's get you something to eat first and then we'll talk."

I wasn't sure if I was hungry and worried that whatever Herrik happened to have wouldn't be anything worth eating, anyway.

"Aww, don't think like that. I have plenty of good things to eat."

I hopped off the bed and let Herrik lead me to the kitchen. He went straight to the fridge and after peeking in, glanced back to where I stood, "Breakfast, lunch or dinner?"

"Oh, what time is it?"

"Does it matter?"

"No, I guess not." I smiled then considered his question for a minute, "Breakfast."

"Eggs? Pancakes? Maybe something continental – a muffin or scone with some fruit?"

"Pancakes," I raised my eyebrows hopefully, "chocolate chip?"

"Ah, now you're talking."

Herrik started lining things up on the counter. He looked very enthusiastic about the endeavor and talked animatedly during the entire process. I offered to help but the most he would let me do is pour a glass of juice for myself.

"Why..." I tried asking.

"Do I have so much food?"

"Yes," it seemed very odd under the circumstances.

"Well, I do entertain from time to time, not just my own people but yours, too. And..." he heated the skillet he planned to use, "I like to cook...I like to smell food cooking...I like it when my apartment smells like...like home."

He surprised me. I would never have guessed how easy-going and down-to-earth Herrik could be if I wasn't actually witnessing it for myself.

"Thank you!" he said.

"Um..."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot myself for a minute there. I didn't mean to...you're so open when you're happy. That and I've been worried about you. We all have and I...well...I've stayed with you in case you needed me. Is that better?"

Some of the brightness, some of the vivacity seemed to leave me and everything I saw around me. The calmness I'd been experiencing just a moment ago vanished and my heart raced and panicked. I felt sick to my stomach.

I shook my head nervously, "No...no it's not better..."

"Hmm, how about now?"

Everything softened and the queasiness withered away. I sighed.

"Maybe we had better wait until after you've had something to eat and are a little stronger. In the meantime, I'll try to be less intrusive and a bit more subtle," he flashed a bright smile and handed me a plate.

He started piling food on it – sausages, fresh fruit and the pancakes which he artfully dusted with powdered sugar and topped with a dollop of whipped cream.

"Would it be alright to have some coffee?" I asked full of hope.

"I thought you'd never ask! Here," he helped me carry my breakfast to the table and pulled a chair out, "I'll make your coffee and be right back. Don't wait for me – I want to see half that plate cleared when I get back!"

I dutifully took up my fork and knife and got to work. By the time he returned there were only a few scraps of pancake left which I carefully gathered onto my fork and popped into my mouth. "Those were the best pancakes I've ever had! Where did you learn how to cook like that?"

"My dad mostly. When he was young and putting himself through college he worked as a short-order cook at the local diner. My whole family cooked though. My parents both worked so once we were old enough we took turns making dinner for the family. Sometimes it wasn't anything more than beans and franks but if it was our night, we had to put something together."

"Eww! Beans and franks!"

"Or franks and beans if you prefer," Herrik chuckled. "I really enjoyed it though, cooking, and put a lot of effort into it when it was my night to make dinner."

"Penny cooks a lot."

"Do you help?"

"Sometimes...but mostly, no. I've been so busy lately."

"Well, I'll see what I can do to change that. I'll talk with Artur and Avery to make sure you have time to yourself..." I sipped my coffee and watched his face expectantly wondering what he was having so much trouble saying. "I've given it a great deal of consideration; what I can do to help you, Emily. There are the little things with Penny and Avery and Artur...this...problem, though, with how you've been feeling...if I can't...if it doesn't work."

"Oh, it has to work! I know it will work!" I thought about how well I'd slept, how much I enjoyed breakfast for the first time since I arrived at the compound and how comfortable I was.

"Those are superficial improvements...temporary, lasting only as long as you are here with me."

"Then I'll stay here with you," I thought but didn't dare say out loud.

Herrik shook his head, "I...I'm sure if you really considered it, you would understand all the reasons why that could never happen."

"I know," I whispered.

"I'll do my best," Herrik assured me with a smile. "Are you done with your coffee?"

I nodded.

Herrik and I gathered my dirtied dishes and brought them to the sink. Afterwards he turned to me and took my hand, "Are you ready?"

"Yes," my voice came out soft and nervous.

Herrik brought me to the living room and we sat down cross-legged, opposite one another on the floor in front of the fireplace. "I need you to relax, Emily. Look at the fire, don't look anywhere else. I will go slowly and if you get too scared or it's too painful for you, just let me know and I will stop."

I took a deep breath. Herrik reached for my hand and brought my wrist to his lips. He gently pierced my skin and I involuntarily gasped. The pain quickly subsided and the pressure of the draught he took from the open wound replaced it. It seemed like such a strange, erotic sensation.

Usually when you are hurt or wounded, the pain is centralized in that one particular location. This seemed different. I could feel Herrik drawing from the punctures and the blood rushing toward him from the all the farthest reaches of my body. It raced through me and seemed eager, determined to leave me and join with him.

It both frightened and elated me. I wanted to beg Herrik to stop but the sensation, coupled with sound of our hearts echoing together in the background mesmerized me. They seemed to be in perfect unison and I wondered if it was his heart matching mine or the other way around. Just when I thought I might fall faint my wrist began to throb and it snapped me back to my senses.

"Herrik. Herrik, please. You're hurting me."

He stood up abruptly releasing me as he did, "Oh, God! I'm sorry!" he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes were wild with grief as he bent over and helped me up, "I'm sorry, Emily, so sorry. I was being so careful," he sobbed into the back of my hair as he held me close.

"It's alright," I mumbled. "I'm okay."

Herrik stepped back and tenderly inspected me. He ran his fingers over the livid wound on my wrist then nipped his fingertip and smoothed a few drops of his blood over the punctures. It was cold, so cold, where he touched me but then a slow warmth crept across my wrist. As the heat spread and intensified the wounds worked themselves closed and a moment later, there was no trace of what Herrik had done.

I smiled and thought to myself how nice it would be if he could heal my heart and my head so easily. Herrik smiled back and I wondered if he had somehow heard me.

Afterwards he took my chin and turned my face so he could look in my eyes. Herrik radiated with vitality; he seemed vastly different than he had a few moments ago. It was hard to look at him, shameful it seemed, to see him so...so...transcendent and otherworldly. I stood there weak and frail while he searched for a sign as to whether he had succeeded in purging enough of Daemon's blood to give me any relief from the anguish that had been plaguing me.

I sensed him withdrawing. His soft, comforting presence that had helped me rest so well and banished all the fear and worry that had been tormenting my every waking moment slipped away.

"How do you feel?"

"I...I..." and that was the last thing I remember.

##  Chapter 9

"Herrik?" I woke slowly, painfully. "Herrik?"

He didn't answer and when I managed to sit up, I looked around expecting to find him nearby. Then I realized I was in the cabin again. It seemed utterly quiet. The fire had died down and the room had grown cold. When I looked out the window, I noticed it still snowed and the sun was setting. It made the room look and feel darker than it was.

I wondered what time it was and where Herrik could be. After what had happened I didn't think he would leave me unless he had a very good reason to.

"Herrik," I whispered nervously. "Where are you?"

I slung my legs over the edge of the sofa and stood up. It was too cold with just the clothes I wore so I wrapped the heavy throw around my shoulders and walked from room to room searching for him. I ran my fingers along the walls as I went hoping to find a light switch only to be disappointed.

"Herrik?" I called out every few minutes. "Herrik?"

As each room turned up empty, I grew more and more fearful that I was completely alone. I finished my circuit of the cabin and when I realized he wasn't there, it devastated me. I ran to the front door and threw it open.

"Herrik!!" I screamed into the emptiness beyond. "Herrik!!"

The wind was the only answer I received. I ran out into the fading light determined to find him. My heart kept telling me he was there, that he was close and I knew I had to reach him or...I didn't want to think about the or.

The snow was deep, up to my knees as I walked and at times I mistakenly stepped into drifts that came up above my waist. I lost the throw at some point and shivering and shaking got turned around searching for it. The darkness swallowed up what remained of the day and my fear increased exponentially when I realized that I'd lost my way back to the cabin.

"Oh, God!" I thought. "I'm going to die!"

I tried hard to banish the idea but it persisted over and over again, "I'm going to die...I'm going to die..."

"Herrik! HERRIK!"

I needed to keep moving and frantically threw myself forward knowing that if I stopped the cold would hurry me to that fate. I trudged for hours it seemed, hours and hours. Eventually my strength gave way and when I called out my voice sounded like nothing more than a raspy whisper.

"You should give in to the inevitable," my mind suggested. "It will be easy, like falling asleep." I had read it somewhere and wondered if it was true – that freezing to death was just like falling asleep. "I'm so tired," I mumbled. "So tired."

I made my way towards a massive evergreen with a trunk several feet wide. Its branches hung low to the ground and so close together that they had kept most of the snow from settling around its base. It was dry underneath and when I moved around to the opposite side I had approached it from the tree completely blocked the wind.

"This is nice," I decided. "I'll rest here and once I catch my breath, I'll go on."

I leaned back against the tree, pulled my knees into my chest and closed my eyes. Before long, my teeth stopped chattering, the shaking and shivering that had been rattling me through to my bones subsided.

It renewed my determination when I realized my body had stopped protesting against the cold. "You see, that's all you needed...some rest," I told myself.

I decided to continue searching and struggled to stand up but I couldn't feel my legs. I tried wiggling my toes but they wouldn't even twitch. When I reached back toward the tree trunk hoping to claw my way to standing but my fingers wouldn't open or close and I couldn't get a good enough grip to hoist myself up.

"Oh, no. No...no...NO! I can't move," I sobbed. "It's over; my life is all over." I buried my face between my knees again and abandoned myself to the idea.

Then the wind picked up and I thought I heard a voice being carried on its gusts. I lifted my head full of hope.

"Herrik?!" my heart leapt with joy.

"Emily. EM-IL-Y!"

I saw a light approaching, bobbing up and down, left and right as it moved towards me.

"I'm here! Over here!" I called out excitedly and prayed he would hear me above the wind but it seemed to sweep my voice away into the opposite direction. The light changed course.

"No...no...don't go...don't go...no...please. Please don't go. I'm here. "Herrik!" I whimpered. It was useless. I was too weak to raise my voice above the wind. The light disappeared and with it the last of my hope. After an anguished sob, I closed my eyes and let go. I never heard his footsteps as they hurried towards me. Never felt the pressure of his arms as they lifted me up. I didn't feel the roughness of his stubble when he rested his cheek against mine. It was too late.

"No," he commanded, "you mustn't believe that. It's not too late...it's not!"

We were in the cabin again. He laid me down and built the fire back up. Then he began undressing me. I panicked, "No," I muttered.

"I'm sorry...you're too wet...too cold."

He graciously looked away as he drew my shirt over my head and wrapped a heavy blanket around me. Once he bound me up Herrik rubbed my hands, my arms and my legs through the rough folds. My skin stung and itched. It tingled against the pressure of his fingertips as he worked his way up and down my limbs.

"Please Emily...please..."

I started shivering again, convulsing uncontrollably. My teeth rattled so hard against one another I thought they would break.

"NO!" Herrik leapt to his feet and shouted with fury. He slashed his wrist and wrested me upright. Herrik forced my mouth open and thrust the angry wound against my lips.

He tasted so sweet, so warm and in my delirium, I wrapped my lips around the wide gash and drew deeply, longingly from him. His blood awakened me, electrified my insides until suddenly I realized what I was doing.

"Don't...want...to be...like you..." I spat his wrist out and stammered the words. Herrik flinched at the pain my statement caused and fell to his knees in an agonized discovery of what he had done, what he had attempted to do.

I forgot all my aches, all my suffering when I looked at him. It was heart wrenching to watch such an emotional display. I clutched the blanket to my chest, slunk from the couch and squatted down in front of him.

"Herrik. Oh, please don't cry Herrik," I cradled his head to my shoulder.

"Emily?" he looked up. "Emily!" his eyes went wide with disbelief and a strange smile crept across his face. He threw his arms around me and lifted me off my feet. His lips found mine and he kissed me with a joyous, triumphant passion. It surprised me and smiling I closed my eyes and kissed him back.

He looked embarrassed and ashamed when he pulled away and put me back down. I felt very much the same and turned my gaze towards the fire rather than face him but it was no longer there.

"It's...we're...but I thought..." I felt a little faint and the room seemed to shift and sway before my eyes, "I'm...how did we get here?" I asked but never heard Herrik's answer. He wasn't there either and I really wasn't sure whether he had ever been.

I lifted my head off the pillow and realized I was in bed. I must have been dreaming. Nothing else made sense. After easing one of my arms from beneath the sheets, I ran my fingers over the covers.

"I'm in Herrik's apartment," I whispered and vaguely recalled why I was there.

While I lay there trying to piece together the few things I remembered, I realized I was terribly thirsty and hungry. With a willful determination, I pushed myself to sitting. It caused so much pain I began to tremble and had to lean back against the headboard for several minutes before the aching subsided to a bearable level. I wondered where Herrik was and why he left me. I waited several minutes confident he was nearby and would come right back. When he didn't, I tried moving again. I scuttled to the edge of the bed and buried my face in my hands breathing deep and slow.

"Oh, Herrik," I whispered to myself. "Where are you and why do I feel so...so hollow?"

After a few moments, I decided I was strong enough to try standing. The bed rested on top of a platform and my feet still dangled several inches off the floor when I tried touching it with the tips of my toes. It seemed like a long drop and I wasn't sure I would be able to hold myself upright if I fell that far. My mouth was like sandpaper though and every breath I took seemed to scorch my throat. Against my better judgment I decided to try making my way to the fridge or the nearest tap.

I braced myself with my hands down behind me and clutching the edge of the mattress cautiously let myself down. Once I had my feet firmly planted, I waited a long moment before pushing myself to standing.

"There," I smiled, "it's not so bad now that I'm up."

I pictured where I was going, where I needed to be and took my first step. The floor seemed to waver beneath my feet and my head protested with an agonizing pain. It seemed impossible for me to go any further and reaching behind I flopped back down on the edge of the bed. I felt utterly defeated and closed my eyes while I caught my breath. My gasps were so loud I didn't hear Herrik approaching and when he laid his hand on my shoulder, I cried out in surprise and fear.

"Ssh, Emily. Ssh, it's me," Herrik whispered and tucked me back beneath the covers. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke. Ssh, ssh."

"Where were you?" my voice full of relief.

"Resting, Emily, just like you. Lie still...I'll be right back." I wanted to clutch at his hand and prevent him from leaving but he shook his head, "You need water and some fruit...something to cool your throat."

I sighed in acceptance and listened to him leave. Minutes later he returned with a tray. He placed it on the foot of the bed then he eased me to sitting. Herrik tucked pillows around me to hold me in place. Afterwards he fetched the tray and arranged it across my legs.

"Here, drink first." I gulped and dribbled, "Slowly," he said, "not so fast, Emily."

I sipped over and over again pausing between each mouthful until I emptied the glass.

"Better?" I nodded, "Eat some of the fruit and I'll get you more."

I popped a grape in my mouth, chewed and swallowed. I couldn't ever remember enjoying anything quite so much. Then I tried the strawberries and kiwi and apple slices. I ate them one after the other savoring their sweet, cool flavors. They tasted absolutely delicious and intensely satisfying.

Herrik brought me another glass of water and I used it to wash the fruit down in between bites. He sat on the edge of the bed and warily watched me eat. When I finished, I smiled contentedly. Without a word Herrik stood up and after gathering the tray, he carried it away.

It seemed much brighter by then and I guessed it must have been morning. I listened carefully, hoping to hear the birds or other morning sounds from the garden but Herrik's bedroom was on the opposite side of the apartment from it. When he came back, he turned on one of the lights before sitting down on the edge of the bed again.

I saw him clearly and there seemed to be a great deal of worry in his expression. "What's wrong, Herrik? Is everything alright?"

"I'm sorry, Emily."

"Sorry for what?"

Herrik cocked his head at me. He didn't answer but looked at me curiously, "How are you feeling?"

"Well, now that I've eaten...I feel amazing!" I beamed. Herrik seemed hesitant but he smiled back. "That means...it worked! It worked, didn't it?!" I said though more like a statement than a question.

"You might say that," there was something Herrik was keeping from me but I was too excited and relieved to notice it.

"I need to...I need to do something right now! Let's walk in the garden!" I seized Herrik's hand but only held it for a second. It was such a shock! I sucked in my breath and pulled back, "Oh, my! Why...why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what Emily?" Herrik's voice sounded calm but his eyes darted over me nervously.

"That Daemon is your son."

Herrik started to deny it, shook his head no. He looked away then back again.

"Please don't lie." I had gotten over my initial surprise the revelation gave me and inched nearer to where he was sitting.

"I wanted you to trust me, I didn't want you to be afraid...of me...or what I might have done to find out where he was."

"But I don't know...I've never known."

"No, I know that, but he gave you something that might help us find him."

I shook my head. "The locket? I don't have it, Herrik," I said and assured him I had no idea where it was. "I swear, I left it at home the night Carah brought me here. It might be anywhere."

"It's alright, Emily. I'd rather not know, anyway. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Why did he leave and why was Carah trying to kill him?"

"He broke one of our laws. I can't tell you any more than that, Emily. There is something I would like to share, though."

"Oh?" Herrik took my hand instead of answering. "What's happening? What are you doing?" my voice squeaked. "No," I tried shaking myself free. "No, I don't want to know!" I insisted.

"I'm not sure you have a choice."

"Why?" I looked at Herrik imploringly.

He wouldn't answer me.

"What are you doing to me?!"

Again, he wouldn't answer. Herrik let out a long, mournful breath. "I got married when I was 29. It was a terrible mistake. I didn't love my wife. I was just trying to do the right thing."

"Please," I begged but it was too late. It was all there and there didn't seem to be anything I could do to stop the onslaught. "She told you she was pregnant..." I whispered.

"Yes," Herrik ran his thumb back and forth across my fingers and I watched entranced as it swept from left to right then back again. "She was pregnant with Daemon, with our son. I did my best while we were together and made the most of it. I worked hard and bought us a home and I tried...I tried so hard to care for her the way I knew I should. Sometimes...sometimes, though, it was just too overwhelming and I dreaded the end of the day when I would have to go home and face her. She knew; she must have known. Her eyes...they...they accused me, always seemed to be accusing me and I felt so...so..."

"Contemptible."

"Yes, and loathsome and unworthy."

I shook my head, "Please Herrik," I looked into his eyes, "You shouldn't be telling me this."

"Oh, but I must! You've been afraid of me, of us, since the moment you first set foot here. I want you to understand who I am, who we are and what we're trying to be."

He looked so earnest and determined I couldn't bring myself to refuse. I nodded and agreed to hear whatever he needed to say.

"As my wife got further and further along in her pregnancy, her emotions spun wildly out of control. I began avoiding her. I would come home late; often after a long, lonely night of drinking. She slung masses of abuse at me; verbal and...and otherwise. She hated me but I needed to be there...for my son; I wanted to be a good father."

"Then one night I went somewhere new, somewhere I...I hadn't been before because I had dried up my welcome just about everywhere else. She...she approached me...a woman...unlike any other I had ever, ever dreamed of. Well, the drinks flowed and the laughter followed and when she offered to take me home...I said..."

"No."

"I said no, no thank you...I have a wife...I'm married...I have a son on the way. "I know," she said and it seemed like she did. She understood everything I was going through...my life...the life I was living...the life I so desperately wanted to give up and no longer wanted to be a part of. "It's just one night," she cooed, "one night of pleasure for the hundreds of miserable ones you've endured. Come with me," she said "and I promise you tomorrow when you wake you will be 10 times the man you ever wanted to be."

Herrik eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

"I wasn't myself and she...she was so..."

"Persuasive."

"Yes."

Herrik released my hand; unwilling for the moment to tell me more.

I wanted to comfort him, to tell him I understood and I did as well as I could from my youthful perspective. Several quiet minutes passed. He looked straight ahead. I studied his profile confused and unable to think of a single thing to say or do.

"I died that night, Emily," his words were barely audible, I wasn't even sure if he spoke them out loud or if they had just softly echoed in my mind. "And I have been dead ever since."

"You don't really believe that do you?" I asked. "If you did you wouldn't be here right now. None of this would be here," I affirmed.

"Only because of Artur. If he hadn't found me. If it had been anyone else."

"You love him."

"Like a father. Artur has been like a father to me."

"He helped you. He taught you how to...how to..."

Herrik took a deep breath, "How to live within certain boundaries. To take only what I needed and how to manipulate people's thoughts so they would never realize, never understand what had happened. He was nearly too late, though. After she changed me and I became what I am...10 times the man she said...but I wasn't a man any more...I was a...a monster. I was insatiable from the very moment I woke and realized what she had done, what I had become. She made me a...a killer...a powerful, remorseless demon."

"I couldn't go home...I was no longer a husband, I couldn't be a father...I wasn't even...even human!" Herrik choked the statement out. "I didn't know what to do or where to go...so I kept killing and killing and pushing it all away."

Herrik's voice sounded so raw and wrought with emotion, so full of sorrow and regret. I started crying.

"I was...messy, careless. Maybe I wanted to get caught. Maybe I wanted to find a way out but just didn't have the courage to do it myself."

"And that was how Artur found you?" I sniffled.

"Yes," Herrik nodded and glanced up suddenly realizing what he was putting me through. "I'm sorry," he stood up.

"No...no...Herrik. It's alright. I understand why you wanted to tell me. I'd like to hear the rest."

Herrik took another deep breath and blew it all out. "He read the headlines, Artur recognized the signs and understood that there was a reckless brute of a vampire aimlessly wandering from town to town with a total disregard for the lives he took. He tracked me down and when I begged him to do what I could not, he insisted that it wasn't too late. Artur," Herrik paused and searched for an appropriate word, "convinced me I could change and insisted I make the most of whatever remained of my humanity."

"Convinced you?"

"He can be very..."

"Influential," I offered.

Herrik smiled a warm, happy smile. "Yes."

It seemed like Herrik was being generous and I suspected that it took a lot more than convincing from Artur to encourage him to change.

"I deserved it. After all I had done, Artur's lessons were mild by comparison. I resisted, oh, how I resisted. Until...until..."

"Artur brought you home."

"Yes, and I saw my wife and my son and what had become of them. My life wasn't the only one I had ruined. Theirs and the countless others who happened across my path. I saw it all; the wake of destruction I left behind in all the lives I had touched."

""It doesn't have to be this way," Artur said and for the first time since we met I listened to him; really listened to him and everything he had to say. We came up with a plan...a plan of repentance for me; a way to make up for all I had done. We started with my wife and son. Artur set up a trust for them. He posed as an insurance carrier and told my wife I was dead. He delivered her a policy that would provide her with a substantial monthly income; more than enough for a comfortable life for her and for Daemon.""

Herrik continued speaking for several minutes telling me of all the amends he went on to make not only to his wife but many of his other victims. Discrete, untraceable amends.

"I could never do enough," he shook his head. "No matter how many lifetimes I end up living, I knew I would never be able to do enough."

"And so, you persuaded Artur...that there were others...others like you who wanted to change and right their wrongs and that together you and he could help them."

"Yes," Herrik smiled proudly.

"And this...this is what it grew into?"

"Yes."

"A haven."

"I never thought of it that way, but yes, a haven."

There was a dull ache in my temples as I considered everything he told me. My mind was swimming with ideas; Herrik's and mine. I still had a lot of unanswered questions but couldn't find a way to ask any of them.

"It's a lot."

"A lot," I agreed.

"I've never told anyone else. You... you and Artur. You're the only ones who know."

"And Daemon."

"Yes, of course, and Daemon."

He looked like there was more he wanted to say but he never had the chance.

Herrik's buzzer rang, "I have to get that," he said. "It's Artur."

"I understand. May I..." I was terribly hungry again.

"Help yourself," he answered before I finished asking, "I'll meet you there in a minute."

## Chapter 10

I thought would bring Artur to the kitchen with him after he answered the door. He said he would meet me there in a minute but it seemed to be taking much longer than that. I wondered what was keeping them while I sat on one of the stools and ate the makeshift lunch I put together. About halfway through my meal I noticed their voices coming from the living room.

I hadn't seen anyone other than Herrik for however long I had been staying in his apartment and decided it would be nice to say hello to Artur. I pushed my plate back and slipped down from the stool. Their voices grew louder as I got closer. They sounded quite agitated and frustrated with one another.

It upset me that they were fighting and I wasn't sure how to interrupt them so I stood in the hallway watching until Artur realized I was there. His hands fell to his sides and he lost the angry expression he wore.

"Emily," his voice sounded full of surprise, "Herrik told me you were resting."

Herrik looked almost as surprised as Artur when he noticed me.

I pointed down the hallway, "No, I was having a bite to eat..."

"How are you feeling? You look..." Artur gazed towards Herrik and his voice took an accusatory tone, "remarkably well," he said then turned back.

Herrik's eyes seemed to plead with me not to venture any more information than I had to, "I'm...better," I said hopeful it would satisfy them both.

"Hmm," Artur mumbled, "that's good...I'm glad you're up and around. I'll be sure to tell Penny. She's been worried about you and hopes you'll be able to go home soon."

"Soon," Herrik assured him.

For a long moment, we stood there quiet and still. It was very uncomfortable; we all had a lot on our minds but very little to say. I decided it would be best for me to leave so they could finish their conversation and hopefully resolve whatever differences they were having.

"I guess I'll get back to my lunch. It was good to see you," I ventured to Artur and pivoted anxious to make my escape.

Halfway down the hallway I heard their conversation resume. I was curious why Herrik seemed so reluctant to let Artur see and speak with me. I stopped and listened hoping to discover the reason. As I strained my ears, I heard much more than I wanted.

"Good Lord, Herrik! What have you done?" Artur exclaimed.

"The only thing I could do," Herrik said defensively. "There wasn't any other choice."

"There is always another choice! First Penny and now this! Are you deliberately trying to undo all that we have done?"

"I was careful. It was just enough to..."

"Just enough! And how did you determine this just enough? Hmm? What were you thinking, Herrik? Don't you...don't you realize how dangerous it is for you to..." Artur paused unable or unwilling to finish the thought. "How many have you pledged? Dozens? More? Do you realize how much it's changed you; how powerful you've become? Just enough! A drop from you is too much never mind just enough! Did you ever stop to consider what it might do to her?"

"There was no other way," Herrik insisted.

"Damn it! Why did you keep her so long? Why didn't you send her home?!"

"I promised I would help her. You don't understand what Daemon's blood was doing to her. Emily needed me! I couldn't let her leave without at least trying..."

"Couldn't let her leave! Letting her die would have been a better outcome than what you might have done to her!"

I gasped and covered my mouth hoping neither had heard me. I tried running away but before I got more than a step or two Herrik seized my hand. When he touched me it all came back and I sobbed at the sudden awareness.

"How could you?!" I cried out. "You told me you would help me and instead you tried to... Oh, God! Why would you do this to me? After Daemon..." I hiccupped, "and everything you've put me through!"

"I was trying to help you, Emily. There didn't seem to be any other way. I made a mistake. I misjudged," Herrik tried apologizing but couldn't find any words to justify his actions. Then Artur came to his aid. He moved toward us and laid his hand on my back.

"Herrik did what he thought was right. It may not have been the best solution but his intentions were sincere. You saved his son's life at an expense only you could know. If it had been me, I would have done the same. We all would. What I said, I said out of anger and for no other reason; none of us would have let you die. I'm sorry, Emily," his voice shook with regret and I believed the earnestness I saw in Artur's expression.

"What's going to happen to me?" I looked from one to the other and they both hesitated to answer.

"May I?" Artur took my face in his hands. I sighed and closed my eyes. I felt his thumbs brush my cheeks and the gentle intrusion as he examined my thoughts. "That's not quite what I expected...hmm...she knows about your wife and... Did you tell her?" Herrik shrugged a reluctant yes. "And this?" Herrik and I both flinched when Artur abruptly withdrew.

I wasn't sure what he was asking or whether he was asking me or Herrik. Full of confusion I glanced at Herrik. He gave Artur a long, hard look, sighed then turned away.

"Well, then...I guess we'll have to wait and see."

"Wait and see, Artur? What does that mean?"

He ignored my questions, shook his head then said to Herrik, "This will make you very vulnerable, you realize that, don't you?"

"I'll do what I can," Herrik replied.

"What you can?" I didn't like the ominous tone in Herrik's voice as I glanced from one to the other.

Artur looked grave but neither he nor Herrik would offer any more insight to me.

"Emily, why don't you finish your lunch?"

Their expressions assured me there wouldn't be any point in arguing, so I found my way back to the kitchen. I had too many chaotic thoughts on my mind to consider eating any more. While I waited for Herrik, I sat pushing the food on my plate around. I considered everything I'd just seen and heard hoping for clues that would help answer my questions. A few minutes went by before Herrik came into the kitchen and took a seat beside me. He leaned his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands. I sensed he was trying to think of a good way to say whatever he wanted to say.

"There was no other way..." he began... "you were dying, Emily! I had no doubts! Three days - and you hadn't opened your eyes or changed positions or taken more than a sliver of a breath. You were so cold and no matter how many blankets I wrapped around you or how hard I tried to rub some life into you, you just wouldn't come back. Then you started shivering and shaking so badly. You kept calling out to me. You sounded so hopeless, so desperate!"

"Three days!" I exclaimed dumbfounded by the idea.

"Yes! I had to help you! It was maddening. I didn't know what else to do," he searched my face, his eyes pleading for understanding.

"But it's done something to me, hasn't it? To us. It's done more than kept me alive. That's how I knew Daemon was your son and how you were able to show me why you're all here."

"Yes. I hoped it would pass."

"What?" I asked utterly confused.

Herrik took my hand and opened his mind. During the short span that passed I felt everything he was feeling, knew everything he was thinking. It was such a surreal experience seeing how complicated he was - so strong yet so compassionate, so intelligent and thoughtful, appreciative and giving. I saw all the things he loved and honored and how little his own problems mattered when compared to those of his friends and the people he cared about.

It was warm and comforting and peaceful bound up in his all his thoughts until I came to one place that seemed set apart from all the others; walled in and dark and terrifying. When I noticed it, Herrik immediately closed back up startling me out of all the unfamiliar sensations he shared with me.

"But I'm not sharing them with you."

"What do you mean you're not? How else would I have seen so much?"

Herrik raised his eyebrows as if to say that if I thought about it, I would understand. I tried to imagine what he was implying but it puzzled me and I couldn't seem to grasp the possibility of what he suggested. He saw the confusion in my eyes and smiled lightly.

"I'm not sure exactly what it is either. You're not like me or any of the others. You wouldn't have been able to eat and drink the way you did if that were the case. But you are certainly changed Emily and to use Artur's phrasing it makes me vulnerable. What Daemon did...what I did... it's forbidden," the word rang out ominously. "If anyone ever found out I did this to you, Emily, it would mean the ruin of everything we've built here."

"You have to fix it then!"

Herrik shook his head, "I can't."

"But...Oh, no...no!" I searched his eyes hoping I guessed wrong but all I saw was a sympathetic sadness that made me wish I was anywhere but there. "I'll never be able to leave now, will I? But there must be something...something you can do! I thought...you said if it worked...I could go home..." I stuttered, my voice full of anger and accusation.

Herrik bowed his head, "It worked; unfortunately, not the way we wanted it to."

He looked away and offered a weak smile when he turned back, "There's no one in the garden, let's take a walk and put all this aside for now. We can finish our talk later, after we've had a chance to stretch our legs and ease our minds."

"Ease our minds? How can you even suggest..." before I finished my sentence Herrik reached out and brushed a lock of my hair behind my ear. His touch was so mesmerizing, so soothing. All my anger and resentment fell to the wayside then his hand found mine.

A moment later we were in the garden. We walked for almost an hour before Herrik led us back towards the pond.

"I'm sorry for the way things turned out. I didn't mean for any of this to happen." He motioned me to one of the benches and together we sat down.

"I know." I glanced up at him and when I met his eyes, I couldn't find the will to look away. "No...please..." I tensed up and grabbed his leg when I realized what he was planning. He couldn't undo what he had done but he could hide it, lock it away deep within my mind where it would all be forgotten.

"You need to relax," he asserted, "or it will hurt."

"Please," I begged when Herrik took my hands and turn my palms over. He ran his thumbs back and forth across my wrists and my worry and fear seemed to ebb away.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. He sounded very far away. I barely heard him even though he was sitting right next to me. I sensed tiny pinpricks behind my eyes and all the events and all the emotions tied to them began swimming around on the surface of my mind. They grew cloudy or misty for a moment then it seemed as though they were being sucked away. I tried hanging onto them but as suddenly as they were there they vanished and I had no recollection of what had happened.

"Emily," someone called me. "Emily?"

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder nudging me awake and opened my eyes.

"Emily. What are you doing here?"

"Herrik?" I sat up and realized I had been laying on a bench near the pond. I must have fallen asleep there.

"Are you alright?"

"Uh...yes...I guess so. I'm just..."

"Exhausted it would seem," Herrik chuckled. "Here," he held his hand out, "let me take you back to your apartment."

I grasped his fingers and for a moment sat there utterly confused by what was happening. Glancing up I saw him looking down at me with a slight frown of worry creasing his brow. I felt like I was seeing him for the first time.

"Herrik?"

"Yes, Emily."

"I'm...I'm," I looked down at my feet unsure of what I wanted to say. "I feel strange."

"Strange how?" Herrik sat down beside me.

"I'm not sure. Ashamed, maybe. I...I guess I want to apologize. I know I said some things."

Herrik shook his head as if to say it wasn't necessary.

"You've been so nice to me and I haven't deserved it."

"Emily," Herrik interrupted me.

"I know you've been trying to do what's best for me and my family; for everyone. I'm sorry I've been so difficult and caused you so much trouble." There were tears in my eyes and I had to look away. "I should be thankful."

"I'm sorry, too. If I could tell you why all of this is necessary, I would."

"I understand, I'm not sure how but I do." I turned back, "I'll try to be patient."

Herrik sighed and I wondered if he wanted to tell me something but wasn't quite sure how or whether he even should. We both sat quietly for a few moments and when the awkwardness subsided Herrik spoke again, "So, back to this sleeping on a bench thing," he teased before growing serious again. "Do you need me to talk to Artur?"

I wondered how he knew.

"Penny came to visit me."

I took a deep breath, "I don't want to disappoint him."

Herrik smiled, "I know what you mean. Everybody feels that way! Artur is...well, he just is isn't he? He'll understand, though, I promise. It's too much especially after all you've been through."

He sounded so confident and sure. I smiled and nodded. "Thank you, Herrik. Thank you for everything."

##  _Chapter 11_

The strangeness of living in the compound began to fade and a sense of normalcy crept into my life. Penny and I grew closer and as we did, my homesickness slowly abated. I stopped dreading the time I spent studying with Artur or sparring with Avery or whoever was on-hand if Herrik needed him for something. Between my daily routines and helping Penny with some of the domestic responsibilities around the apartment most of my days ended up being quite full.

There were occasions, though, I had a few too many hours to myself. During those lulls, I would find myself thinking and wondering about life and what was going on in the world beyond the compound. I would miss my family and my friends and long for a chance to see them again or to at least know that they were well. Sometimes the melancholy would settle in and stick with me for several days and it would distract me from all the other things I should have been doing.

One morning I was particularly down while Artur and I tried going over some French pronunciations. He did his best to get me to focus but it was of very little use. Every time he asked me a question I took longer and longer to answer. It turned into a frustrating lesson for both of us. When he realized he was on the verge of losing his temper, Artur said we should change gears. He suggested I go to the gym so Avery could work the cobwebs out of my head.

I sighed and agreed. After I gathered my books and papers, Artur walked me to the front door and said goodbye. I looked around as I stepped outside and realized that Avery wasn't there. I waited several minutes expecting him to return but he never did. I let myself back in to tell Artur and ask him what I should do.

"Hmm," he said, "he must be tied up somewhere. I'll walk you to the gym and have Carah meet us there."

"Ugh, Carah," I said it to myself but that didn't keep Artur from seeing my sentiments so clearly written on my face.

He looked at me curiously, "What was that?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing," I smiled.

"Right," Artur raised his brows, "Well, you'd better hurry, Carah's waiting for us."

"Already?" I moaned.

"She was already there when I asked if she wouldn't mind working with you."

"Do you think Herrik is with her?"

Artur stole a glance at me, "Now why would you ask that?"

"I don't know...I thought...well, I saw them together once and I guess..."

Artur laughed out loud but didn't answer.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," Artur laid his hand on my shoulder as we walked. "Herrik is not there and he and Carah are not...together; not that it's my place to tell you but I don't want any rumors or misconceptions getting around."

"I wouldn't have told anyone, anyway. I don't li..." I bit my tongue.

Artur stopped short, "That is an opinion you'd best keep to yourself."

"I'm sorry," I looked away abashed.

"Don't be," Artur sighed, "but do try to remember who you are and where you are. It's safer to keep those views well-guarded." I looked up my eyes full of worry. "Oh," he smiled weakly, "I didn't mean to frighten you. You know Herrik would never let anything happen to you. You are one among many though; different and more easily misunderstood. You have nothing to worry about but that is no reason for you to be careless and indifferent towards the feelings of others."

I understood what Artur was suggesting but by then we were at the gym and there wasn't an opportunity to say anything more. Carah stood in the far corner near one of the mats waiting for us and motioned to Artur as soon as we came in.

"Have you seen Avery?" Artur asked once we were near enough.

"No. But there's been a steady stream in and out of Herrik's apartment all morning. Maybe he's there," she shrugged indifferently.

"You should put your things away," she nodded me towards the locker room.

Artur said goodbye and told Carah that if Avery hadn't shown by the time we finished she should walk me back to my apartment.

"Yeah, sure," she rolled her eyes.

Carah didn't waste any time once I'd gotten changed. She centered me on the mat and circled me once or twice. "It's been a while now, hasn't it? I always forget what a slight thing you are. Not much to you at all," she chuckled. She reached out to squeeze my bicep but I batted her hand away. "Quick as ever though! What have you and Avery been working on lately?"

I started describing what we'd gone over during the past few weeks but before I stumbled out a sentence or two Carah went on the attack. It caught me off-guard and as I dodged and tumbled out of the way of her blows, I tried asking her to give me a moment; to explain that I wasn't ready.

She snorted, "Anyone who wants to overwhelm you won't give you a chance to ready yourself so you can fight back!"

I knew she wasn't trying to hurt me; just testing my defenses. I cut my pleas short and went on the offensive between checking and defending her blows. A moment later she reached out and slapped me across my face.

"Ah!" I cried out and raised my hand to cheek. It brought tears to my eyes and I trembled with rage.

Full of determination I ran at Carah but she tripped me before I could raise my fist to strike her. She tossed her head back and laughed as I fell face first on the mat. "You'd better learn to master that anger little lady!"

I charged again. This time she threw her arm across my chest. My legs slid out from under me and I landed flat on my back.

"She knows," I suddenly realized, "she knows exactly what I'll do. She can either see it or sense it."

I was panting but forced myself to take a deep breath before shoving myself back to my feet. I closed my mind and wiped my expression clean. Carah shook her head at me, "Cute trick. Avery's or someone else's?" her voice smug and challenging. "It's a start," she stated before changing her stance.

Rather than attacking or responding I stood firm and fixed my gaze on hers while I waited for whatever would come next. She inched towards me and made a few exploratory swipes which I correctly ignored.

"Behind," my mind preempted.

I whirled around and thrust my palm out striking Carah in the center of her chest. She shook her head in disbelief.

"I see," she scowled.

"Do you?" I asked heartened by what I had done.

She responded with a series of blows. Somehow my mind anticipated every one of them and my body reflexively evaded them all. It surprised Carah and she grew frustrated with her inability to land a hit. It elated and emboldened me. I adjusted my guards so I could slip in an occasional attack of my own.

I didn't notice but our sparring drew a handful of observers and they watched and nodded appreciatively at our display.

"Now!" my mind shouted and I launched a terrific jab that caught Carah in the mouth. Her lips slid across her teeth and a trickle of blood appeared and ebbed from the corner of her mouth. She glanced around at all the anxious faces that saw the fateful blow.

"You bitch!" she wiped the blood away with the back of her hand.

The intensity of her anger terrified me and all my defenses seemed to fall away. The next thing I knew she had me by my throat and pinned to the mat. I raised my hands and clenched her wrist as I tried fighting her off. It seemed like I was about pass out; there were tiny balls of light flashing behind my eyes as I gasped for breath.

For half a second the world went black. I blinked several times and shook my head dazedly. When I caught my breath and glanced around, I saw Carah kneeling on the floor with Avery standing behind her. He clutched a fistful of her hair in one hand and had his free arm wrapped around her throat. Herrik held his hand out and helped me to my feet. I couldn't imagine why but he was smiling as I reached for it.

"Nothing's wrong, nothing happened. You need to show them you're alright," I heard his voice in my head. "Smile, stand up, dust yourself off and shake hands with Carah."

Avery helped Carah up and nudged her towards me. I cautiously approached her and held my hand out, "Thank you for the lesson."

She gave it a rough shake and afterwards the small crowd dispersed seemingly indifferent to any of what they'd seen.

"What were you thinking?!" Herrik growled at Carah once everyone was beyond earshot.

"I...I..." Carah looked away, "I lost my temper." She turned to face me, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," I offered unsure what else to say.

Herrik looked me over, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I assured him.

"I'll walk you home." He turned back to Carah, "One hour," he pointed to his watch.

"Of course," Carah seemed to understand without any further explanation and pivoted away.

"I have to get my things," I mumbled to Herrik as I watched her go.

"Avery," Herrik motioned him to the lockers.

He hurried off to fetch them.

Herrik wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me away. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, Herrik. I'm fine." I tried sounding bright and cheerful. It wasn't easy though. He made me terribly nervous; so much that I deliberately avoided him whenever possible.

He looked disappointed and forlorn as we walked toward the garden. Rather than taking the path that led to my apartment he brought me toward his own rooms. Herrik must have been aware how unsettled I was and once we were inside, he had me take a seat in his living room.

"I'll be right back," he said then walked away. A moment later he returned and handed me a glass of water. I gingerly took a sip as Herrik sat down beside me.

It filled me with trepidation, "Please don't be angry with me," I whispered unable to imagine any other reason he would have brought there.

"Now why would I be angry with you?" he asked.

I could feel his eyes on me as I sat there and stared straight ahead. I tried answering, "Because...because..." I couldn't think of any reason why other than I had upset Carah.

"May I?" Herrik asked.

I wasn't sure what he was asking and cocked my head towards him questioningly. He raised his hands and took my face in his fingertips. My fear melted at his touch. I nodded assent and closed my eyes. Herrik caressed my temples with his thumbs and the morning's events replayed in my mind for him to see and understand.

Afterwards he sat back and sighed, "This isn't going to be as easy as I hoped, is it?" he glanced sideways at me. I didn't understand or know precisely what he was referring to. I studied his features and waited for him to elaborate. His eyes had a faraway look to them and he seemed to be considering a great deal. He sat like a statue for several minutes while I wondered whether there was something I should do or say.

"Herrik?"

He seemed reluctant to answer, "I'm sorry for the way Carah acted today," he apologized. "She has never been comfortable with the idea of integration and having you and Penny here, with us, it's...it's..."

"Insulting," I said the first word that came to mind and immediately regretted saying it.

He opened his mouth to offer a denial, sighed then admitted, "Yes, somewhat."

"She hates me."

"She doesn't...she..."

"It's okay. I don't like her either."

"I wouldn't say that out loud," Herrik smiled wryly. I smiled back. "There's more to it than she just doesn't like you. But that's not what I brought you here to talk about."

"Oh?" my anxiety returned with a vengeance.

"Artur came to me this afternoon and Penny has me asked more than once."

"Have I done something wrong?" I fretted wondering why they would go to Herrik instead of speaking to me first.

"No, why would you ask that?" he asked completely confused.

"I don't know. I guess I've been a little less...attentive than usual during my lessons and sometimes I don't help Penny as much as I should. Are they angry with me?"

Herrik had a curious expression, something between a smile and a frown, "No," he chuckled, "Penny and Artur are not angry with you. They are angry with me."

"With you?! Why?"

"Penny insists that you have spent too much time cooped up here. She thinks you could use some fresh air, a change of scenery and some society other than..." Herrik cleared his throat, "She asked me if she could take you out."

My eyes lit up, "You mean out-out?"

"Mmm, hmm," he nodded. "It wasn't easy to tell her no."

"Oh," my face fell.

Herrik laughed, "That was quite a change in expression!"

It sounded teasing and coupled with my disappointment it caused too much pain for me to imagine that he might have more to say. I stood up eager to get away from him and the mocking tone in his voice. "Well, thank you for letting me know I won't be going anywhere," I grumbled and walked toward the front door.

"I'm sorry," Herrik stepped in front of me before I could reach for the knob. I was too angry and frustrated to meet his eye. He ducked in front of me and forced me to look at him. "I'm sorry," he said again, "I didn't mean to sound so...so..."

"Cruel, insensitive...hurtful!" I suggested.

"You know I didn't mean to be any of those things. I said no," I started to interrupt, "uh, uh, listen. I said no and then Artur came to me with the same complaint." When I tried speaking again Herrik held his hand up, "Let me finish!" He checked his tone, "Please let me finish." I sighed and let go of my anger, "Thank you," he went on, "Artur told me how distracted you've been. He says that you have not been studying and the lessons you are learning, you're not retaining." I looked shamefully away rather than offer an excuse.

"He believes your schedule has become too repetitive and it would be a good idea for you to leave the compound once in a while to break up the monotony. Between him and Penny, well, they were very convincing so I guess I have no choice. I suggested Avery..." I cocked my head and tried envisioning an outing with Avery. I quickly realized how disagreeable it would be but figured getting out might just be worth it. "Artur objected and said you wouldn't find any value in him as a companion," Herrik went on. "We've already ruled out Carah," Herrik gave me a quirky little grin. "And Penny, well, if anything out – of - the – ordinary," Herrik stretched the words out in emphasis, "were to happen I'm not sure she would be the best suited to handle it."

"I understand," I sighed feeling that Herrik had just finished justifying why I wouldn't be allowed to leave.

"So that's it. You're just going to give up. You're not going to suggest any other alternative?" He sounded disappointed.

I shook my head, "There doesn't seem to be any."

"Really? Well, I guess I shouldn't cancel my meeting with Artur tomorrow and take you out like I planned."

I wasn't sure I heard him correctly, "You...you were planning on taking me out?" I stuttered in disbelief.

"Well, I considered it, yes, but since you've lost your interest."

"No," I shook my head with vehement regret, "no! I want to go! I do! It's just...I didn't think...you never leave the compound!"

"That's exactly what Artur said and why he insisted I be the one to take you once he convinced me you needed a break from all this." The prospect of leaving the compound overwhelmed me and a huge smile lit my face. I wondered what it would be like, not only to see the outside world again but to spend the time with Herrik. "So, you do want to go out?" I nodded enthusiastically. "It's settled, then. Tomorrow at 6."

"Ooh, we have dinner at 6. Can we leave later?"

"6 am," Herrik corrected.

"We're leaving in the morning?"

Herrik laughed out loud, "Yes," he said his voice full of humor, "in the morning."

I didn't understand what he found so funny but at that point I really didn't care. "I'm going out!" I thought to myself.

Herrik said a warm goodbye before calling Avery and asking him to walk me home. I was absolutely overjoyed and beaming when Penny met me at the door. "You're home early," she said as soon as I walked in.

"Herrik wanted to see me."

"You've been with Herrik?"

"Mmm, hmm," I nodded and wondered if she already knew.

"And what did he want to see you about?" Penny asked full of curiosity.

"Well, he told me you've been worried about me."

"Did he?"

"Yes. And that Artur has the same concerns as you."

"And what might those be?"

"That I need a change of scenery, mostly."

Penny's smile widened, "And what was his solution to this dilemma?" She led us towards the living room so we could sit and talk.

"Well, he said he wasn't sure what to do. He thought about having Carah or Avery take me out but Artur said that neither of them would be very good company for me. Then he mentioned you but was afraid if anything...unusual happened..."

Penny sighed deeply, "I see. So, you're stuck here, is that it?"

"Actually," a bit of color rushed into my cheeks and it took me a moment to explain that Herrik's alternative was to take me out himself.

"Really?! Well, that's wonderful! Did you make plans?"

"He didn't tell me what our plans are," I sighed, "but Herrik said he would come by first thing tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes," I said frowning.

"What is it?" Penny asked.

"I always thought...well, I guess I'm just wondering...Herrik can't go out in the daytime, can he?"

Penny laughed a little.

Her expression confused me, "What?" I demanded.

"Nothing," she smiled, "you'll see soon enough. But in the meantime, you have an afternoon to yourself. Let's not spend it sitting around here waiting for tomorrow. I saw them installing a pinball machine in the game room earlier this week," Penny's voice was giddy with excitement.

"Pinball? Really?" I laughed at the idea.

"Have you ever even played pinball?"

"Uh...no...why would I? It's...it's archaic."

"Well, I'm sure there are other things there for us to do. If you humor me and play a round or two, you can choose whatever we play next."

"Fair enough."

After getting ready and heading out Penny and I whiled away the rest of our afternoon playing pinball, billiards and cards. Surprisingly pinball wasn't as wearisome as I imagined it would be. Penny won almost every game but graciously lost once or twice to be nice.

We had a lot of laughs while we were there especially when we took up a pair of cues and tried our hand at pool. Penny knew the rules but neither of us followed them since we both had such horrible aim. We kept track of the number of balls we each got in and declared the winner by whoever had the most. After we rearranged the table and put our cues away Penny taught me how to play cribbage. I caught on quickly and really enjoyed the game. We played hand after hand and the hours flew by.

Neither of us noticed how much time had passed until we realized how hungry we were. When Penny asked me what I would like for dinner, pizza was the first thing that came to mind.

"Mmm, that sounds good!" Penny smiled. "I think I have an idea..."

As soon as we got back to the apartment, she headed straight for the kitchen and intrigued I trailed along after her. She went to the pantry and pulled out a loaf of crusty bread along with some pasta sauce. After placing them both on the island she went to the refrigerator and gathered up a few meats and cheeses naming each and asking whether I liked them.

I had a pretty good idea what she was up to and after washing up happily helped put our makeshift pizzas together once she had sliced the bread for us. About 10 minutes later they were toasting in the oven and their aroma filled the apartment.

"It won't be long but maybe there's something on TV while we wait?"

"Sure."

We settled on a show and watched together while we waited. When our dinner was ready, we picnicked on the coffee table so we wouldn't miss the ending. I got ready for bed as soon as our show was over and we had cleared the dishes away. It wasn't very late but I knew I would need to be up earlier than usual and wanted to be rested for whatever Herrik had planned.

After I went through my routines, I said goodnight to Penny and made my way to my room. I set my alarm and fell fast asleep smiling and anxious to see what the day would bring. I slept soundly for most of the night but as morning grew closer, I woke up worrying I wouldn't hear my alarm or that I hadn't set it right and it wouldn't go off. For a while I tossed and turned, then drifted off only to reawaken and lay staring at the ceiling while an endless number of minutes slipped by. Eventually I gave up and turned my alarm off.

I crept from bed then got dressed and ready to start my day. It was almost 6 o'clock when I finished eating breakfast. I decided to wait outside so Herrik wouldn't have to ring my buzzer and risk waking Penny. I noticed him on the path to my front door as soon as I stepped out.

"Good morning!" I smiled as I moved forward to meet him

"Good morning...are you ready?" he asked.

"Yep!" He didn't seem quite right when I got close enough to see him clearly. "Oh, Herrik, what's wrong? You look...you look tired." He seemed more than tired – exhausted and pale and hollow and there was a dullness, a sluggishness to everything about him.

"It's early for me, too," he laughed at my concern.

"Are you sure you're alright? We can cancel our plans and do them another time," I offered.

"I'm fine," he assured me. "Come, we need to hurry."

It was still somewhat dark in the garden and the paths were only dimly lit so Herrik took my hand and led the way. I had a hundred questions I wanted to ask but it somehow seemed wrong to speak with the hush that still hung over the garden.

I had learned my way around well enough to know that Herrik was leading me toward the main hallway and the area near the elevators.

"Where is everyone?" I asked when we exited the garden and rounded the corner. All the rooms we passed were unlit and empty.

Herrik smiled, "Resting," was all he said as he ushered me into the elevator.

The idea puzzled me. I had always imagined a constant presence of Herrik's people on the lower levels; working, playing, relaxing but apparently that wasn't the case at all. We rode up to the garage and again it surprised me to find it vacant except for the cars and motorcycles meticulously arranged in almost all the parking spaces.

Herrik opened the passenger's door to his car and motioned me to take a seat, "Buckle up," he said as I settled in. I couldn't believe I was leaving the compound even if it only ended up being for a few hours. I was so dumbfounded and determined not embarrass myself, I couldn't find a single thing to say.

"You look nervous," he said as he took the wheel and adjusted the seat to his liking.

Wide-eyed I answered, "I am! I haven't been out since...and the sun is coming up and you..."

"Is it?" he backed out of the parking space with complete confidence.

His car reminded me of the one Carah had been in the night she brought me there. It was smaller and sportier but all the windows had the same dark tint covering them, even the front windshield. I honestly couldn't tell if it was night or day.

Herrik drove us through the gate and soon we were heading down and away from the compound. As I watched the landscape pass by it made me more and more curious about his plans for us. I was about to ask but we came to a sharp turn and as we rounded the corner it seemed to grow visibly brighter outside.

"Ah, there," Herrik pointed. Much to my amazement we were facing the sun.

It looked beautiful even through the heavy tint. At first, I imagined it to be just coming up over the horizon. Herrik smiled at my surprise.

"It's not," he changed gears.

And sure enough, rather than getting brighter and higher in the sky as we drove, the sun dipped lower and lower.

"Sunset?" I wondered and looked over at Herrik full of confusion.

"Sunset," he nodded.

"It's nighttime," I thought. "How is it not morning?" I shook my head as I turned and asked Herrik.

"Ah, yes," Herrik chuckled. "Well, for us, for me and my people it is morning. We simulate the natural rhythm and hours of the day but in reverse."

"Huh," I said frowning, "but it was nighttime when..." I colored with guilt, "I went to see Jesse's band..."

"Because you were staying on the upper levels and those hours correspond with what is natural for you."

"So, you keep different times," my mind grasped at the idea.

"There is some overlap, but yes, for the most part each group keeps to their customary hours. Some people are awake later than others, some need to rest long before others, some get up early and some sleep in. That's true for both our kinds."

"Do you rest?" I asked marveling that he had somehow been the only one up and around as we were leaving.

"I do."

"Artur told me it's...it's not very pleasant and that you don't dream."

"It's not unpleasant and no I do not dream."

"That sounds unpleasant to me."

Herrik laughed good-naturedly, "Well, it's not like I never dream. I just dream when I'm awake."

"Daydreams?"

"I guess you could call them that."

"What do you dream of?"

Herrik was quiet and thoughtful for a few minutes and it didn't seem like he would answer.

"Peace," he finally said.

It was an open-ended response and I knew it could mean any number of things. I didn't dare ask.

He glanced at me, "And when you dream what do you dream about?"

"People, mostly. I dream about Penny and Avery and Artur; sometimes my mom and dad and my brother and our friends."

I regretted telling him because as soon as the words were out Herrik lost all expression and I was sure I had upset him by mentioning my family. I tried changing the subject and told him about all the things Penny and I had done the previous day. It helped and by the time we were near the city much of the uneasiness on both our sides had fallen away. Herrik navigated us through the busy streets. After several stoplights and a handful of turns he drove us into a parking garage and pulled into the first space he found.

We used the stairs rather than waiting for the elevator and once we were on the street level again Herrik pointed down the sidewalk, "This way," he said. Together we walked for a block or two before Herrik stopped us in front of the art museum. "Artur recommended this. He hoped you might like it."

I had never been to a museum before and my mind wandered off imagining dinosaurs and mummies and all the other things I thought we would see.

"It's not quite that kind of museum," Herrik corrected. "Come, see for yourself," he held his hand out.

Herrik paid our admission and picked up a copy of the guide book for us to share. There weren't many other people in the museum so we wandered from room to room and viewed most of the artwork in relative privacy. Herrik spoke softly whenever we came to something he found interesting. I had never cared much about art and at first it was hard to find any of it very compelling.

"You're not really seeing it, are you?" Herrik asked at one point.

"It's all very nice," I said, "but..."

"It's just something on the wall to you."

"No...no..." I wanted to contradict him but he would have known I was lying.

Herrik shook his head at me; he looked disappointed and I thought he was going to suggest that we leave. "Close your eyes," he said instead. He wrapped his fingers around mine and gave me a gentle tug, "This way," he urged me. He moved me to the far end of the room and when he stopped me told me not to peek. He adjusted my position slightly then took my hand again.

He felt warm and vibrant; his hand in mine seemed so strong and sure. He gave my fingers a gentle squeeze and I noticed a familiar sensation ripple across my mind. I realized that he was mingling his thoughts with mine. I panicked and reflexively tried keeping him out.

He laid his lips against my ear and whispered, "Trust me." All my defenses crumbled, "Now look," he said.

We were standing in front of a Monet and as my eyes focused on the picture in front of me, I gasped at the beauty I found in it. The painting took me completely by surprise. It was amazing to see the hundreds, thousands, of tiny dabs and squiggles in all their various colors and hues coaxing one another into images of landscapes and people. It seemed painted with such delicate care and the results were so dramatic.

Awestruck I reached out to touch it but Herrik gave me a subtle reminder of where we were and drew me back to my senses. "Now you understand," he smiled down at me. "It's all how you look at it; that is where you find the beauty and the meaning in art."

I grinned up at him, "It's incredible!"

"It is!" he agreed.

"Show me more," I pulled him towards another nearby painting and for the rest of our visit Herrik and the artwork we examined together held every ounce of my interest.

He knew some of the history for many of the pieces he showed me. Whatever he wasn't familiar with, he read the excerpts from the guidebook and we learned about them together. It was later than either of us imagined and while we were sitting on a bench contemplating a particularly chaotic painting by Kandinsky one of the museum workers approached us.

"Sir, the museum is closing in 10 minutes."

"Thank you," Herrik nodded.

The gentleman glanced at me and smiled before turning on his heel and walking away. "Are you hungry?" Herrik asked as we watched the worker turn the corner. "Penny would never forgive me if I forgot to feed you!"

"Very!" I nodded in emphasis.

"What do you like to eat?"

I thought about all my favorite foods and I was about to suggest something when another idea popped into my head. "What do you..." I almost asked before I remembered how inappropriate a question it would have been. I frantically rephrased it while hoping I hadn't made Herrik uncomfortable. "What were your favorite foods..." my mind raced and despite my nervousness I stumbled out, "when you were my age?"

"Oh, Emily, you shouldn't have asked that." He said, his voice full of gravity.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." I apologized.

Herrik smiled mischievously, "Yep, now you're in trouble," he teased then gave me glimpse of what he was thinking. What he had done in the museum had given him an idea.

"Oh," I smiled back, relieved and with a vague understanding of what he was eagerly imagining.

We found our way back to the car and while driving around the city Herrik stopped at half a dozen places; restaurants and cafes, dessert shops and convenience stores. He piled everything he bought into the back of the car. When he decided he had appropriated enough, we drove to a small, well-lit park where he laid it all out on one of the picnic tables.

"Now then," he said, "dig in!"

"Do you really think this will work?" I took a seat on the top of the table next to the array of food and Herrik sat on the bench in front and to the left of me.

"I can't wait to find out!"

"What would you like me to try first?" I asked.

"This," he pulled the wrapper back from a chocolate bar and broke off a small piece. Herrik handed it to me. He seemed somewhat hesitant as he took my hand in his.

"Ready?"

He nodded and I popped the chocolate into my mouth. I let it sit on my tongue for a few seconds getting it to melt a little before chewing and swallowing.

Herrik was beaming, "Oh! That was wonderful! Just like I remember!"

"It worked?!"

"Here try this," he reached for something else and broke off a small piece, "Mmm," he sighed as I let it linger and smiling he closed his eyes.

I tried everything he suggested but only a taste of each. After about a half an hour I started to feel queasy from having eaten so much and so many different things. Herrik sensed it too as he sifted through the remnants of the things I hadn't yet tried.

"Eww," we both groaned at the same time.

Then laughing he added, "I guess we've had enough."

"Yeah," I agreed.

It was getting chilly and I shivered as we gathered up the leftovers and wondered what to do with them. While we discussed our options Herrik shrugged out of his coat and wrapped it around my shoulders. I felt guilty throwing so much away but we both agreed that none of it was really worth saving. We ended up tucking it all into a nearby wastebasket before heading back to the car.

"Is there anything else you would like to do?" he asked. When he looked at me I was mid-yawn and could only manage to shake my head no in response.

I was sure he understood especially after all the indulgent foods I had just eaten. As I settled into the passenger's seat I sighed and smiled. Herrik got us on our way and since I had slept so poorly, I only made it a mile or two before I nodded off. I dozed almost the entire ride home and when we got there, he had to nudge me more than once to get me to wake.

"Oh, are we here already?"

"Soon," Herrik said, "the gate is just around the corner."

"Is there something wrong?" I asked when I realized that he had stopped the car.

"No. I just wanted to say thank you, Emily. I haven't had such a memorable night since...since...well," he gave a slight laugh, "I can't remember when." He was quiet for a long moment as he considered all we had done, "We'll have to try it again sometime."

"We will!"

Smiling Herrik leaned over and brushed my cheek with a kiss. I grew a little light-headed, foggy and unfocused but it soon passed. The next thing I knew we were on the elevator and chatting animatedly about what we would like to do next.

## Chapter 12

My outings with Herrik gave me something new to look forward to and the world seemed a much brighter place once I began counting him among my closest of friends. The more time I spent with him the more I realized that he wasn't as imposing and intimidating as I imagined him to be. I stopped avoiding him and whenever we met, we would strike up a conversation. Usually our run-ins took place in the garden as I made my way home from either a lesson with Artur or a workout with Avery. Herrik would fall in with me and while we walked together, we would spend a few minutes catching up. He would tell me about all the little things that had happened and seemed worth sharing and I would do the same.

One evening I was heading home a bit later than usual. I hurried knowing Penny would have dinner ready and waiting by the time I got there. My bag was slung over my shoulder and I kept trying to zip it as I walked. I wasn't looking where I was going and didn't even notice him as I hurried along the path.

"Emily?"

I whirled around. "Oh, Herrik!" I said surprised and delighted by his sudden appearance. "I walked right by, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did!" he came to where I was standing.

"I'm sorry. My zipper got jammed and I was so busy trying to fix it I didn't even see you!" I chuckled. Then I realized that he might have been waiting for me. I glanced over my shoulder towards my apartment. "Is there something you needed to talk to me about?"

I was obviously in a hurry so he shook his head, "No, it can wait," he assured me.

"Are you sure? I was just trying to get home in time for din..." as I spoke I remembered our first night out together. "Why don't you come in and keep us company while we eat?" He looked uncomfortable but enticed by the idea. "I'll make it worth your while," I smiled suggestively. I thought I saw him blush and realized how provocative it sounded. "Oh...I only meant...oh...ugh!"

Herrik laughed, "I know what you meant," he quickly recovered himself and lost his apprehension. "I'd love to join you," he said.

When we got to the door, I let us in and called out to Penny, "Sorry I'm late! We'll be right there."

"We?" she came to the hallway and saw Herrik standing there while I wiggled out of my shoes. "Oh, hello, Herrik," she said her expression full of surprise.

"Maybe I should come back another time," he looked away.

"No!" I tossed a look of helplessness to Penny so she would know to make him feel welcome.

"Yes, I mean, no. Don't go. We would enjoy the company," Penny pleaded.

He took a breath but I started down the hallway before Herrik could say anything else or excuse himself and he reluctantly followed. Penny and I ate most of our meals in the kitchen since it was just the two of us but there was room enough for four at the island. She and Herrik took seats across from one another while I washed up and once I dried off I sat down to the right of Herrik.

Penny seemed hesitant to begin but I had no reservations. It had been a long day and I was very hungry. I took up my fork and knife and started eating while my mind raced for a topic of conversation that would put us all at ease.

"Artur was telling me about this rare flower that only blooms once every seven to ten years." I took a sip of my water.

Penny brightened, knowing exactly which one I referred to. "The corpse flower."

I nodded and took another bite while she explained everything she knew about the strange plant. As she spoke I reached over with the tip of my toe and slipped it under Herrik's pant cuff. I glanced up and smiled while I continued to eat. He looked flustered and it took a moment but he soon realized what I was doing. Herrik kicked his shoes off then eased his sock down so we were touching.

From there the rest of the meal flew by. Penny exhausted her information and once she did, Herrik found a new topic and took charge of the conversation. He carried us all through dinner and we were all so animated by what he had to say that we lingered long after we finished eating. Eventually he glanced at his watch and told us he needed to say goodnight. He offered to help clean up but Penny and I both refused.

"Thank you so much for having me," he said to Penny as she stacked our dishes. "I'd forgotten how enjoyable it is to sit and talk over a meal."

"Having you here made it all that much better," she replied. "You're welcome to join us any time."

I nodded agreement and followed Herrik to the front door where we said goodbye.

"Oh, you never told me why you wanted to see me."

"Ah, yes, the concert. There's a violinist playing this weekend and it's been a while..."

"I'd love to!" I answered before he finished asking.

He smiled, "I'll make our plans." Herrik shifted awkwardly, "Well, goodnight," he kissed my cheek.

"Goodnight," I held the door a moment and watched him leave.

From there it became a regular thing, Herrik stopping by to chat with us through our dinner. He also started showing up at my lessons from time to time. While Artur and I worked, he would offer his insights for us to consider against our own. It was interesting to have Herrik there since he was so good at getting us to look at things from a perspective we might not otherwise have considered. Other times he found me and Avery in the gym and genially begged to be my adversary for however many minutes he could spare.

Those bouts with Herrik were always my favorites because he fought gently and with a great deal of care not to hurt or intimidate me in any way. He would still correct me or adjust my positioning when necessary so I learned and practiced as well as I did with anyone else. I also enjoyed them because once the lesson was almost over he would let me take him down. Afterwards he would congratulate me on my prowess and ability to protect myself against even the most formidable of adversaries.

It meant the world to me, Herrik taking such an active interest in everything I did. He always seemed so proud of my accomplishments and offered encouragement whenever I struggled making it all worthwhile. His attention seemed to inspire many of the others and almost everyone acted more considerate towards me, even Avery.

Though he acted indifferent, his regard for Herrik was a great influence on Avery. He treated me civilly and I stopped feeling threatened or wary whenever we were together. I learned to respect him and soon decided that it was just his nature to keep his distance and hide his feelings.

Carah was just the opposite and the only real blight in my life at the compound. The closer I became to Herrik and the others the more she got under my skin whenever we were together. I'm not sure if it was by design or just a fortuitous circumstance but we seldom ran into one another. The few times I saw her were when Avery, or anyone else I'd grown close to, wasn't available.

The time went by fast, a year, another. Eventually I stopped keeping track. It hardly seemed necessary because for the most part time was completely irrelevant to the society I lived in. I did, however, spend more and more time wondering about the future and if I would ever have the chance to live a normal life. Two questions were always on my mind; why was I there and for how much longer? It didn't seem like I was a prisoner but no one ever mentioned whether I would ever be allowed to leave.

Other than Herrik I didn't know who else or how to ask. I didn't have the courage to bring it up to him and it would have broken Penny's heart to discover I still wanted to leave. I tried not to dwell on the future as much as possible but I was sure Herrik knew or at least suspected, whenever all my emotional ideas were threatening to overwhelm me. It was too much of a coincidence for him to suddenly show up and propose some activity or other that would give us a chance to escape the compound if I needed a distraction from all the things I missed. I loved him for it because his invitations were just the thing to send my spirits off into a more positive and upward swing.

It had been several weeks since the last time I saw Herrik and it probably wasn't the best time for me to be thinking about him. I had just come from a tedious mental workout with Artur. Adding to my misery I found myself bobbing and dodging Carah's jabs and blows at the end of the day. I knew Herrik was busy and though I tried not to, I missed his company. My daydreaming gave Carah plenty of opportunities. She caught me more than once and unlike Herrik or Avery she left me a livid bruise whenever my guard slipped.

Sometimes I thought she menaced me on purpose, hoping to find my breaking point. I tried not to let her know how badly she hurt me. I didn't dare let her think I was weak but often wondered if I gave her the satisfaction of knowing how much pain she inflicted, it might lessen her resolve to continually punish me.

The thought crossed my mind as she swept my legs out from under me and I fell firmly on my backside. She loomed over me scowling and scolding while I looked up at her with a vague and uninterested expression which only intensified her anger.

"Get up!" she shouted as I sat there in defiance. When I ignored her demand, she bent down to wrench me to standing but when she grasped my elbow Avery called to her from across the gym. She checked her anger and as he drew nearer grudgingly offered me her hand instead.

"Penny sent me for you, Emily," he eyed Carah as she helped me to my feet. "Did you have a good workout?"

"Yes," I nodded, "Carah always keeps me on my toes, except when she's busy knocking them out from under me!" I chuckled good-naturedly. "Thank you for working with me," I smiled and said a cheerful goodbye before I gathered my things and headed to the locker room. I hated treating her with such delicacy but I truly feared her at times and what she might be capable of.

"Is Penny alright? Did she say why she wants to see me?" I asked Avery as he led me back to the apartment.

He shrugged, "She didn't say why, just that she needed you home. As far as I know everything is fine."

Once we arrived Avery took his usual position outside my door and I went in by myself.

Penny called to me from the living room as soon as she heard my steps in the hallway, "We're in here," she said and I immediately thought of Herrik.

I caught Penny's eye as I rounded the corner and flashed her a heartfelt smile before turning, eager to greet Herrik. The visitor I expected, however, was not the one who was there. A gentleman stood up as I approached and looked me over appraisingly. It made me blush, not just the way he studied me but for my embarrassment at mistaking him for Herrik. I was sure he had no idea it had happened and quickly composed myself. The man moved towards me and after taking my shoulders in both his hands he brushed my cheeks with two quick pecks.

"Ah, Emily," he grinned, "I did not think I would ever have a chance to meet you! I am happy to say that your friends have not exaggerated in the least," he said breathlessly. "My but you are a pretty little thing!"

I glanced at Penny completely flabbergasted and unable to come up with a suitable response but she just smiled and watched with anticipation as our introduction unfolded.

"Oh, forgive me," the man said, "I am Gianni," he bowed.

"Gianni," I said, "it's nice to meet you; è molto bello conoscerti!"

"Buono, buono! You have been studying with Artur, I see." I smiled proudly. "Well, you are probably wondering why I am here and why I am so excited to meet you."

"Indeed!"

"Come...come this way," Gianni ushered me towards my bedroom.

I glanced over my shoulder at Penny. She shrugged and helplessly watched while Gianni pushed me down the hallway. When we got to my room, he closed the door and pointed to the corner, "Put it on and we will hurry and get started."

There was a dress frame fitted with a remarkably elegant evening gown standing where he pointed, "What's this?" I asked as I took a step towards it.

"A dress, for you! I am here to see that it fits properly."

I frowned, "But why?"

Gianni shook his head, "I do not have the answer to that! I only know the dress is yours and that I am here to make it perfect for you."

"Who is the dress from?"

"Why, Herrik, of course! Who else?"

"And you're sure he didn't say what it was for."

"He did not," Gianni replied somewhat miffed. He glanced at his watch and grew visibly impatient, "There isn't much time!"

"I'm sorry," I apologized, "It's...this is a bit unexpected."

"Sì, but that is of no consequence to me. I must do this favor for Herrik and have it done by 4 am tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Sì...please put the dress on," and as if to encourage me further he unzipped the gown and slipped it from its frame then roughly handed it to me.

I didn't waste any time after that and stepped into the changing room. I stripped my clothes and wiggled into the gown. A minute later I opened the door and called to Gianni to help me with the zipper. He was sitting on my bed with a sewing basket that held all the immediate tools he would need. He stood up when he heard me and moved me towards the mirror.

"Stand here," he kicked a step stool I used to reach the things on the top shelf of my closet towards me. "No wait," he ran into the closet and returned with a new pair of shoes.

I tucked my feet into them and climbed onto the stool.

"Buono! Now stay still. If you move, I will prick you!"

Gianni started at the top and worked his way down. He measured and folded, pinned and muttered, made impressions with his chalk and forbid me to take so much as a breath during the entire process. When he finished he insisted on removing the gown for me so I wouldn't undo any of the delicate edicts he had made for himself.

"Huh, don't be modest, bella donna! You haven't an inch of flesh to be ashamed of!"

It was extremely discomfiting to have him strip me from the dress and once it was off I reached for the first thing in my closet that would cover me. I hadn't worn it for years but Herrik's shirt concealed just enough for me to regain my composure.

As I fastened the last of the buttons Gianni turned and said, "I can see myself out. Be ready for me; tomorrow at 4!"

"4 am?!" I said aghast.

"Sì! Ciao Emily!

The following morning came far too soon and I woke to the sound of Penny's voice trying to wake me.

"Emily?" she shook me. "Emily, sweetie. Gianni is here."

"Oh, ugh..." I moaned, "I must have forgotten to set my alarm." I sat upright and after stretching like a cat, rubbed my eyes awake. "Just give me a min..." I mumbled but Gianni was impatient and before I realized what was happening, he flipped the lights. He went to the corner and began setting my dress up next to the changing room.

"We mustn't waste any time," he called over his shoulder, "if there are any changes that need to be made we will have to make them here and now!" Once he arranged the dress, he turned and faced me.

Penny held her hand out to help me up while Gianni glared across the room at us. He tapped his foot impatiently. It made me smile and shaking my head, I slung my legs over the side of the bed. "Let me freshen up a bit and I'll be right there," I called over to him.

I made my way to the bathroom and when I returned Gianni motioned me to the corner, "Here, let's get this on."

As soon as I shrugged out of my pajamas, he slid the dress over my head. His manner immediately changed from edgy and irritable to focused and professional as he zipped me in.

"Shoes," he mumbled, glancing around for them.

"There," I pointed and Gianni quickly fetched them then let me hold his hand for balance as I tucked my feet into them one by one.

"Ah," he smiled as I stood up. He circled me and reached out to tug at the fabric in several places as he went. "This is good...and good...mmm, hmm...excellent," he paused a moment. "Walk for me," he commanded. I took several steps, "Turn, come back," he said. "How does it feel? It's not too tight, no? You can breathe?" Then before I could answer, "Sit. How does that feel?" I sat as he instructed, "Cross your legs. Yes, very good. How does it feel? How does it feel?" he asked again, "You haven't answered me!"

I hadn't had a chance because every time I opened my mouth to speak Gianni instructed me to do something new. I couldn't get a single word out and laughed a little.

"What?" he frowned at me.

"Nothing," I smiled back. "It's wonderful, Gianni! Just perfect!" I said, fully enchanted and satisfied with the way the dress looked and fit.

"Yes...yes it is perfect," he beamed before gathering up all the things he had brought for precautionary purposes. "Oh, I almost forgot," Gianni handed me a small jewelry box. "Herrik sent these for you to wear with your dress. You have a wonderful time tonight. Give him my best."

"I will," I promised. When he turned to step away, I grasped Gianni's free hand and gave him a heartfelt kiss on the cheek, "Thank you, Gianni."

"Tsk, tsk," he waved me off, "none of that mia bella!" and though he sounded brusque and disgruntled by the affectionate gesture, his eyes and smile were full of glee.

Gianni showed himself out. I opened the box, "Ooh," I whispered. Tucked inside was a pair of delicately hung diamond earrings shaped like teardrops. I went to the mirror and slipped them into my lobes. When I stepped back to admire them Penny gave a quick knock and stepped into my room.

"Gorgeous," she gushed as she looked me over.

"It is, isn't it?" I ran my fingers over the fine fabric of my gown.

"I meant you, silly!" Penny chided. "Would you like me to help with your hair and make-up?"

"Would I?!"

I rarely wore make-up and though I might have been able to get my hair into something resembling a style, I leapt at Penny's offer. She had me take a seat at the vanity and after tucking a towel around my shoulders got to work. She did a remarkable job and throughout the entire time she was working all I thought about was how much I looked forward to Herrik's praise.

When she was done I stood up and looked myself over. I had never felt more beautiful. The buzzer finally rang and even though I was ready and expectant my heart filled with panic. Nervously I hung back as Penny answered the door. Herrik and Penny said hello to one another while I stood aside staring at my feet. I thought I could feel him looking at me and it helped me find my courage. I took a deep breath. When I looked up, I saw them both admiring me from where they stood in the hallway.

"Oh, Emily! Look at you!" Herrik stepped towards me, "You look exquisite. Stunning...just amazing...absolutely amazing!" He placed a feathery kiss on my cheek.

I smiled broadly and blushed from head to toe.

I wanted to return the compliment and say something nice about him and the way he looked. Unfortunately, I was too dumbfounded to utter a single word other than a soft thank you. Herrik was by far the most attractive man I knew but I had never seen him so impeccably dressed and meticulously groomed. He intimidated me despite all the confidence I had in my own appearance.

Fortunately, Penny gave full voice to all the compliments that were swimming around on the tip of my tongue. I nodded assent to every one of them then finally found my voice and offered one of my own.

"You do look very...handsome..." I whispered. There were a hundred other adjectives that my mind suggested but none of them sounded appropriate enough to speak aloud...majestic, noble, stately.

"Aww, thank you! Thank you both," Herrik grinned. "Well, I hate to rush you but we really must be going. Do you have a purse? Is there anything you need before we leave?"

"Oh, yes. Thank you for reminding me. I'll be right back."

I grabbed a matching clutch from my bedroom and tucked a few odds and ends into it before checking myself one last time in the mirror. A moment later I returned to the hallway and as I approached noticed Penny handing Herrik my coat which he carefully tucked over his elbow.

"Just in case," Penny smiled.

"After you," Herrik opened the door, said a quick goodbye to Penny and motioned me through.

"Have a good time!" she called as I glanced back and waved goodbye.

It was quiet and dusky-dark while we walked side by side through the garden. Neither of us spoke and after a few minutes I began to think that Herrik had lost some of his buoyancy. I might not have noticed if he hadn't been so happy and jovial a few short minutes ago.

"Is everything alright?" I asked in a hushed and nervous tone.

"Oh, yes," I heard a faint smile in his voice, "I was thinking; wondering how long it's been since you came to us."

"It feels like forever," I sighed.

He didn't offer a reply. I wanted to ask if something was on his mind but I wasn't quite sure how to phrase it. I tried not to worry and distracted myself by savoring the scents and sounds of the garden while we moved through it. A moment later we both spoke at once.

"It seems like I've always been here..."

"It seems like you've always been here..."

We stifled our respective laughs. I couldn't see him clearly in the dark but I pictured him perfectly. I could tell that despite our little burst of humor, something was still troubling him. He shifted my coat to his opposite arm and freed his hand. I cautiously reached out to take it and gave it a light squeeze. Some of my apprehension lifted with the reassuring squeeze he gave me back.

"So..."

"So..." Herrik replied.

I waited a few paces hoping he would take the initiative and begin our conversation. He seemed reluctant to speak. I wanted to know what was upsetting him but I had the impression that if I asked him again he would likely tell me something I didn't want to hear. I decided I would rather not take that risk and chose another topic.

"So, is today a surprise or is there any chance you will tell me where you're taking me?"

"Not a chance!" he said most definitively as we stepped from the garden and wound our way towards the elevator.

I raised my eyes and studied him, "You've put me through an awful lot of trouble for whatever it is. Surely you can give me a hint!"

"Surely I cannot."

"Suit yourself," I shrugged and tried to appear indifferent to the rejection.

I studied him from the corner of my eye and saw that he was smiling. I smiled, too, and some of the warmth and happiness we shared on these occasions seemed to return.

"Are you hungry?" Herrik asked as he helped me into the car.

"Very! But I'm not sure I should eat anything or I'll risk bursting out of this dress!"

"Gianni would never let that happen. I'm sure there's a bit of give in there somewhere," he looked me up and down.

He didn't intend it to sound the way my mind interpreted it but it gave me a pang of delight imagining Herrik being attracted to me. My face flushed with heat and color and I turned away hoping he wouldn't notice. Herrik must have sensed it though and awkwardly cleared his throat before starting the car.

"Dinner first then," he said as we pulled from the garage.

"Ah, yes, dinner...I always forget," I sighed.

"I can take you to breakfast if that's what you'd prefer but you're not exactly dressed for it."

"No, I'm not," I giggled. "Dinner's fine; great actually," I said and considered the possibilities.

I felt a slight but unobtrusive tremble in my mind, "I know just the place."

Herrik took me to an elegant little bistro and after selecting a bottle of wine the sommelier suggested he ordered for the both of us. I always marveled no one ever seemed to notice that even though he raised his glass and held his fork and knife nothing ever passed his lips. Herrik made all the appropriate motions and gestures even dabbing the corner of his mouth with his napkin now and again but it was all an effortless act.

Occasionally he would lay his silverware down and he would reach across the table and run his fingers across the back of my hand. I knew it served a vicarious purpose but I loved his touch, anyway. His hand was so cool and smooth, gentle but with a restrained and invigorating strength. Halfway through my meal we switched plates so he wouldn't miss out on what he had ordered for himself.

Despite his earlier hesitance to speak he carried our conversation through most of our meal. I ate and drank as much as I dared then excused myself to freshen up. When I came back I found Herrik had taken the liberty of ordering dessert.

"Oh, no! I couldn't! I've already eaten far too much."

"One bite, then. Please. Just a taste so I will know."

As I sat down Herrik reached across the table and gathered up a forkful of cheesecake. He held it to my lips, "Close your eyes," he implored. "Savor it...really taste it..." I let it sit on my tongue for as long as possible then slowly chewed and swallowed. I opened my eyes; Herrik's expression clearly showed the rapture he was in. "Heaven," he grinned then signaled the waiter for our check.

Once we were outside Herrik offered me his arm and suggested we walk rather than head back to the car. He led me several blocks before turning a corner and moving us towards a rather large, well-lit building set back from the street. At first glance, I thought it was a church but then I noticed the throngs of people moving up the stairs towards the open doors. A moment later I realized that it was a theater; one we hadn't yet been to.

"What's this?"

"An experience."

"Experience?" I asked my curiosity at its peak.

He had a strange look in his eyes that I couldn't define, "I was afraid if I told you beforehand, you might not agree to come."

"Why would you think that?" I frowned. "You've never disappointed me on any of the other occasions you've taken me out." I saw him flinch and couldn't imagine why he seemed so uncomfortable with the statement. "I must be mistaken," I assured myself and shook my foreboding impressions away.

We neared the top of the stairs and I glanced at the framed production poster as we moved towards the main doorways.

"Madama Butterfly," I read out loud. "Is it a play?"

"No," Herrik chuckled, "but there is a great deal of acting; only not the way you would imagine. It's an opera."

I had never been to an opera and wasn't at all adverse to the idea. "Why would you worry I wouldn't want to go to an opera?"

"Well," Herrik gathered his thoughts, "it's an unusual art and...I...I wasn't sure if you would be able to...to appreciate it."

"Of course I will. I always do; we always do."

We continued walking and Herrik showed our tickets to an usher who guided us to our seats. After we sat down he took my hand, "I don't want to share this one with you."

"What? Why? Why would you say that, Herrik?" I was aghast at the idea of not being able to share the experience with him; with him not wanting to share the experience with me.

"I'm worried, Emily. I feel like I may be...I may have...influenced you more than you realize and I am afraid you are not becoming who you were meant to be. Sometimes I think that I have...I have wrought you into someone, something you are not."

"No," I whispered, "that's not true. You know it's not."

"I want you to know who you are, Emily. I thought tonight might help you figure that out."

"How?" I shook my head.

"By how you react to the opera." I couldn't see the point he was trying to make; or maybe I just didn't want to see it. "Emily," Herrik reached for my hands, "I'm not trying to upset you. I'm sorry if what I've said seems hurtful but I assure you it's not."

"Then why does it feel that way?"

"I'm sorry," Herrik whispered and as his apology died away the lights dimmed. It seemed like a terrible betrayal and my disappointment was palpable but I couldn't voice any of my grievances because the production was about to begin. Herrik leaned in close and I felt his breath on my ear, "Please, Emily...do this...this one small thing for me."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and my voice cracked, "Yes, Herrik," I relented and whispered back.

He looked relieved as he sat back. He kept hold of my hand but that was the only sense I had of him beside me. There was no vibrancy, no brilliance to the things I saw and heard and felt. At least not immediately.

The opera confused me at first. The players took the stage and acted out their parts but I couldn't understand what Madama Butterfly was singing as she moved about the hillside near her new home. I had only learned a handful of Italian from Artur and the bits I did know didn't relate at all to the story she was telling. As I watched and the more focused and determined I became, I found it wasn't necessary; it became perfectly obvious what was taking place.

More than once I caught myself clasping Herrik's hand tighter and tighter with the intensity of the scenes and had to remind myself to loosen my grip. The opera absolutely captivated me! I had never experienced anything like it. It was so rich and colorful and so expressive and in such a way that my heart leapt or fell with every twist and turn of the story.

When intermission came Herrik asked me if I there was anything I would like; if I needed to freshen up or stretch my legs.

"No," I shook my head, "I'm fine."

Even though I was still peevish, I wanted to talk to him about the opera. Before I could offer any of my impressions or insights though, he excused himself and stood up.

"I'll be right back," he planted a quick kiss on my cheek and stepped away.

"My but you are a beautiful couple," a middle-aged woman sitting several seats to the right of me smiled and said. I wasn't sure how to respond so I simply thanked her and looked away. "Are you enjoying the show?" I glanced back and saw that her eyes were earnest and hopeful.

"It's lovely," I answered.

"I'm so glad you can appreciate it; few young people do these days," she said, her voice inflected with sadness.

Again, I didn't know what to say. It wasn't often that I went out in public and I was far from comfortable speaking casually with someone I had never met before.

"I'm sorry if I am being a nuisance but you look so nervous and fretful without your beau. I thought I would keep you company while he's away."

"He's not my beau," I said more heatedly than I intended.

"Oh, I beg your pardon. I just assumed...you were holding hands and the way he looked at you. Forgive me," she mumbled and turned away.

I hated myself just then, "No, wait. I'm sorry. We...we had a bit of a disagreement as we sat down and I'm..." my voice was full of contrition.

"It's fine, dear, I understand. It's none of my business, really," she said, relieved and satisfied by my attempt to apologize. I must have looked as crestfallen as I felt and her face softened, "I'm sure it will all work out. Just be sincere and remember, if you love one another that's what matters; not whether you are right or whether you are wrong."

It was a very astute thing for her to say and wave of shame washed over me. I regretted how angry I had been and how sharply I had spoken to Herrik. The lights flashed and a few moments later he came and took his seat beside me. He still seemed reluctant to meet my eye and to speak with me.

"I'm sorry Herrik; sorry for the way I reacted."

"I'm sorry, too," he took my hand as if to emphasize what he was saying and brushed a kiss across my knuckles, "I should have told you. We should have talked about it first. I should have gone about tonight differently."

There wasn't time for either of us to say anything more but it was a relief to hear his regrets and it greatly improved my spirits. I laid my cheek against his shoulder and he kissed the top of my head as the show resumed.

The final act was the most impressionable. My emotions were tumultuous as I considered all the potential outcomes. I truly felt for Madama Butterfly and hoped for her eventual happiness but my heart told me it would be impossible for her to find it. My lips quivered and tears pooled in my eyes as she prayed while she waited for her lover to arrive.

"Oh," I whimpered, and "no, no, NO!" my mind wailed. I instinctively knew what was going to happen and the scene was so engrossing I started to rise from my seat. I wanted to cry out to her; beg her to stop and to comfort and console her. Luckily, I still had enough presence of mind to remember where I was and that what I believed was happening wasn't truly.

When it was over, I slumped back against my seat with my face buried in my hands. It filled me with grief and sadness. I quietly wept for Madama Butterfly while Herrik caressed my back, "Emily," he whispered, "Emily, it's over. Ssh," he soothed, "ssh."

I turned toward him and grabbing his lapels sobbed against his chest. I desperately wanted him to let me in so he could comfort me with his strength and surety. I would have given anything for Herrik to drive away the devastation that was making my heart race and body tremble with such violent emotion.

"Why?" I asked, "Why would you want me to feel this way?" I looked up so I could see his face and read his expression and when I did I saw that he was fighting his emotions, too.

He was just as upset as I was though not quite so outwardly and perceptibly. Once I understood, it made me realize that if he opened himself up to me, it would only intensify what we were both already feeling. Herrik wasn't rejecting me but protecting me from the overload of sorrow.

"Here, darling," the woman I had spoken with earlier handed me a packet of tissues.

"Oh, thank you," I smiled weakly and pried myself off of Herrik.

"Was this your first time?" she asked as I dabbed my eyes and dried my nose. I nodded and offered the package back. "Maybe you should keep them. You might need them again before the night is over," she smiled suggestively.

I thought she might be right as I reflected on everything I had seen and heard, "Thank you," I said again.

She whispered goodbye then shrugged herself into her coat and disappeared.

We lingered as long as we could and when I finally regained my self-control, I glanced around the empty theater one last time then let Herrik lead me away.

## Chapter 13

We slowly walked away from the theater and I was indeed thankful for the tissues. The final act echoed in my mind and I choked up more than once while we made our way down the sidewalk back towards the car.

Herrik had his hands thrust in his pockets and stared straight ahead as we moved along. "Are you disappointed?" he asked though he seemed reluctant to hear my thoughts.

"I'm not sure if disappointed is the right word. It was beautiful...and thought-provoking. I can't imagine what she must have felt – living with all that uncertainty; her heart broken and with a child to raise. I wasn't prepared for the way it ended and..." I sniffled, "maybe I'm just a little disillusioned. All the stories I've read have had such happy endings!" I added with a touch of humor and I started to smile. When I glanced up, though, and saw Herrik's reaction my heart sank. He looked so...so...remorseful.

"It was a far better representation of life than most stories are, Emily. Things seldom end as well in fact as they do in fiction."

There was something strange in his voice. It made me wonder if there was another reason Herrik had brought me to the opera that night; if there was some meaning he wanted me to discover and take away from it all. Before I fully considered it, I blurted out, "What kind of man would..." and suddenly my thoughts returned to a night I had nearly forgotten. I remembered Herrik telling me about his wife and that he didn't love her. He confessed how he had cheated on her and in doing so became what he was. It ruined not only his life but hers and their son's and countless others as well.

I stopped and reached out forcing him to face me. "Is that how you see yourself, Herrik? Is that who you think you are; how you think I see you? How could you even imagine such a thing? You are nothing like that man!"

He met my eye for a moment then anxiously looked away, "I need to get you home, Emily."

I knew he wouldn't allow himself to believe what I said and that he still hadn't forgiven himself for everything he'd done. A flood of determination ran through me. I needed him to understand, I wanted him to know I never once thought badly of him. There wasn't a single person I could think of that had. Before I could he began leading us towards the car again. It made me so angry, it felt so dismissive and I berated him with a series of questions.

"Are you... did you take me here imagining it would show me who you were? Are you purposefully trying to make me think less of you? You're not planning on taking me out any more? This was some sort of goodbye, wasn't it? Why?" my words hung in the silence between us. I thought I knew the answers but had to hear them from Herrik in order for them to hold any truth.

"You've grown so much, Emily, since you came to us. Artur and Avery and Penny have molded you into such an exceptional young woman. You are beautiful and smart and sophisticated; so polished and so...alive...in here," Herrik laid his hand over my heart, "and here," he kissed my forehead. Seeing how much the opera meant to you...watching your emotions so raw and so beautiful as they washed over you! I suspected...and now I'm know...I'm falling in love with you Emily...and I can't let that happen! Our worlds are as different as the two people's you saw tonight and there is no way it will end other than badly for us...for you especially."

Herrik started walking again and I hung back a few feet before I reluctantly began to follow.

It was astonishing, something I never suspected.

"Herrik loves me!"

I loved him, too, but always thought it was the kind of love that came from knowing one another so long; from being close and having so much in common. I never suspected that he loved me back or that it was anything more than a strong, mutual admiration. Something was nagging at me, though, telling me I was wrong. I realized I had been clinging to the idea that my feelings were nothing more than friendly so I wouldn't have to face the fact that he didn't love me back.

"But he does!"

My blood stirred with the sudden awareness. It was a very strange sensation. Somehow it remembered him, was a part of him and his blood was a part of me and those parts were longing to be reunited. It flooded my head and heart; how much I loved him and I knew I would never be able to stop. No matter what he did, that part of me, the part of me that was also Herrik, would always remember. Herrik paused long enough for me to catch up and stood with his back to me.

"And I cannot...I will not let you suffer the consequences of loving me!" Herrik spoke over my thoughts as I stood shaking my head no unwilling to listen to such horrifying words. "It's time for you to go home, Emily. I've kept you far too long."

"Home?" I whispered.

"Yes. Home, to your family. I know you've thought about it. I know how much you've missed them. You want a normal life, Emily. You don't want to live like this...you're not meant to live this way."

"No," I muttered. "I can't. I don't even remember my family!"

"I'll help you."

"You'll help me? How?" I demanded. Herrik didn't answer but he didn't really need to either. I knew he could stir up all my old memories as easily as he covered them up. "Please, Herrik. You can't do this to me. Don't make me forget. Don't take this away from me!" I used his old trick to hide my thoughts. "You can't," I insisted, "I won't let you!"

There was a flash of anger in his eyes combined with a hint of worry, "Pray that I can, Emily. Pray that I can!"

I started to cry then turned and started running; determined to get away from him and escape everything he was saying.

"Emily, stop," Herrik called in a voice that froze me in place. I couldn't break free from him the way I sometimes could from Avery.

"Yes, Herrik," I said dazedly.

He was standing directly behind me. His hands caressed my shoulders and his voice whispered in my ear, "You are everything to me..." he said.

"Everything," I murmured.

"I love you."

"I love you, Herrik."

The backs of his fingers brushed the length of my neck from behind my ear to the curve of my collarbone. I leaned my head back against his chest and closed my eyes. My flesh shivered beneath the pressure of his mouth and for the briefest of moments we were one; locked together in some strange symbiotic ecstasy.

He whirled me around and took my face in his hands and kissed me. There was so much love and regret in that kiss I thought my heart would burst with sorrow.

"Please don't," I whispered. "Everything I am, I am because of you...for you, Herrik."

"I'm sorry," he gazed down at me; his eyes swimming with unshed tears.

A violent pain began throbbing behind my eyes all the way through my skull and to the back of my head. It only lasted a second, then I heard it. A shot in the dark. I gasped and all my strength left me. Herrik and I both fell the pavement. I vaguely sensed someone rifling through his coat pockets. When he finished searching, he came to me and went through my purse. He noticed the diamond earrings Herrik had given me and tried easing them from my lobes.

"No!" I screamed and clawed at the face of the thief as he bent over me. I was unwilling to let go of such a precious gift after what I had just learned.

"Fuck!" he howled in pain and reached for his gun again.

I heard the click of the trigger, once, twice. It had gotten jammed and before he pulled it a third time someone swatted it from his hand and it went spinning across the pavement end over end. The next thing I knew the body of the thief lay broken and battered in a haphazard sprawl beside me and I saw Avery bent over Herrik. He gently shook him by the shoulders and called his name, but Herrik didn't respond.

Avery slashed his wrist and held it to Herrik's lips. As soon as the blood entered his mouth it poured out of the wound in his chest.

"Why won't he heal?!" Avery cried out in anguish. "When did he last...?"

I sat up shaking and crying, "I...I don't know!" I bawled.

Avery scooped Herrik up, "Where's the car?" he demanded.

I stumbled to my feet and kicked my shoes off, "This way!" I hiked my dress above my knees and started running, my bare feet pounding the pavement with Avery following a half a step behind me.

"Key!"

It was in Herrik's coat and my fingers were trembling so badly I had to search more than once before I came up with it. I unlocked the doors and Avery carefully arranged Herrik in the backseat. I slid in beside him and laid his head in my lap as Avery took the wheel. He drove with a frantic, preternatural skill that had us miles away from the city before I fully grasped what had, what was happening.

"Help him, damn it!" Avery snapped me back to awareness.

"How?" I wailed. "What do I do?!"

Avery's jaw clenched. He jostled for something from under the cuff of his pant leg then handed me a vicious, thin blade with an ivory handle. He glared at me in the mirror and nodded, "Go on! Do it!"

I howled mournfully as I ran the blade across my wrist then held the livid, weeping wound to Herrik's mouth. My blood ebbed and flowed but Herrik never made any attempt to draw more from me than what came out of its own accord. Avery glanced back from time to time but there was never any change in Herrik. I wept and wept as I bent over him whispering words of love and encouragement, praying to whatever god there was to save him.

By the time we were in the canyon I had lost so much blood I started to feel weak. I nearly fainted from all my anguish and from giving so much to Herrik. I was hardly aware but Avery took a sharp turn well before the gate and took us to the summit where the private elevator from Herrik's apartment was. When we reached the plateau, the car skidded to a stop and Avery launched himself out of the driver's seat. He wrenched the passenger's door open and gathered Herrik back up.

"Hurry!" he screamed at me.

I slid across the seat and fell onto the ground. Avery stopped and crouched down next to me. "I can't carry you both," he said with a concern I never would have imagined possible from someone like him. He laid Herrik down beside me. "Here," Avery ran his teeth across his wrist and held it out to me.

I shook my head, "I can't."

"You must," his eyes darted over me.

"Herrik...please..." he looked so lifeless staring blankly up into the night sky.

"Herrik would never forgive me if I save him only to lose you."

His voice wrenched my heart, "He knows." I thought to myself and accepted his outstretched arm. I shivered and all the tiny hairs covering my body stood on end as Avery's essence began to course through me, invigorating me from the inside out. He was so different from Herrik – so simple. Everything seemed either black or white, there were no gray areas.

Avery believed what Avery believed. Anything beyond his realm of interest he differed to others to decide considering them higher matters and unworthy of his particular set of abilities. I sensed that Avery was fiercely loyal, too, to Herrik, to Artur, to me and, "Oh, my, he loves Penny." I pretended not to have noticed. A moment later Avery helped me up then carefully gathered Herrik back into his arms. After a brief search, we found the hidden door and I heaved it open.

Avery flew down the stairs and I followed two at a time. He had already called the elevator and as we stood waiting for it all the horrifying images of Herrik being shot played over and over in my mind. Desperate to block them out I closed my eyes and willed the world away. It seemed to take forever for us to reach Herrik's floor. Artur was already there when we stepped into the meeting room. Avery laid Herrik out on the vast oval table then came and stood by my side.

"What happened?" Artur seemed tremendously calm as he looked Herrik over.

"He's been shot. He won't heal. Emily and I...we both tried."

"Ssh," Artur bent his head to Herrik's chest and laid his ear against it. "What is that?!" he asked mystified. Artur ripped Herrik's shirt open to his navel and gently placed his palm over the gaping wound the bullet had made. "Help me," he commanded Avery.

Together they hovered over Herrik, their hands one on top of the other. Concentrating they willed the bullet loose. Artur plucked it from hole in Herrik's chest and reflexively dropped it onto the table when it buzzed and whirled slashing at fingertips. It bounced and rattled against the wood seemingly with a life of its own.

"What is that?!" Avery frowned at the tiny orb.

"I've seen this before!" Artur said aghast. "It's a bullet...a bullet designed to kill vampires." Artur snatched it up and expertly disabled it. "See," he pointed to the device.

The bullet looked like a miniature drill with half a dozen or so razor-fine blades protruding from the sides. Artur placed it on the table and reactivated it and as the bullet began to spin the blades fanned out. Artur ripped a piece of fabric from Herrik's shirt and held it against the bullet. It instantly tore the fabric to shreds.

"That is what it did to..."

Herrik gasped and sat upright clutching at his chest, "Emily!"

"I'm here!" I cried as Artur forced him to lie back down.

"No! I have to see her!" Herrik jumped his feet and I threw myself into his arms. "Oh, thank God!" he smothered me with kisses. "We have to go! I have to get you out of here!"

"You can't! Damn it, Herrik! Someone tried to kill you! Someone who knows what you are tried to kill you!" Artur pointed to the bullet while Avery seized him and forced him into one of the seats at the table. The words rang in Herrik's head though he tried shaking them away. "No one can know about this; not until we find out who and how this happened!"

"That's impossible?!" Herrik cried burying his face in his hands. "Why?" he stammered as the weight of Artur's statement sank in.

"Let's not talk about that now. We need to get you cleaned up before anyone sees you."

Herrik weakly agreed. He turned to me and asked me to stay, made me promise not to go to my apartment without him, then let Artur lead him away. He glanced back over his shoulder to Avery, "The car," Herrik mumbled. Avery nodded and moved toward the elevator.

Dazedly I went to the living room to wait for Herrik and Artur. I sunk into one of the chairs and closed my eyes trying to calm myself while I considered everything I remembered from our evening. As I sat there, I wondered if there was anything I might have seen or heard that would help Artur and the others piece together exactly what happened.

"Emily?" a soft voice came from right beside me startling me out of my reverie.

"Carah," I croaked.

"Are you alright?" she asked sounding quite anxious. I couldn't tell if it was nervousness or concern but something in her tone sounded foreboding.

"She couldn't possibly know!" my mind warned.

"Where is Herrik?" Carah glanced around expectantly.

"He's with Artur," it seemed the safest thing to say without lying.

She knelt down in front of me and brushed the hair back from my forehead, "What's wrong?" she asked as she studied me from head to toe. I quickly realized how I must have looked to her and couldn't come up with a viable falsehood. I pulled away from her touch imagining that she was trying to catch a glimpse from my mind. It took some effort but I kept my thoughts obscured so she wouldn't be able to force them from me.

"What's wrong?" she persisted "What happened?" she looked pointedly at my wrist where I had slashed it open in my desperation to keep Herrik alive. It had only partially healed after Avery helped me and it wasn't at all painful so I had completely forgotten it.

I quickly covered the wound with my hand and as I did Avery returned saving me the need to explain.

"Kitchen accident, nothing serious," Avery hurried over and nipped his fingertip then smothered the sore with his blood.

It was hardly believable, dressed as I was and Carah eyed Avery suspiciously. She stood up and faced him. She looked as though she wanted to question him further but there was something in Avery's expression that she was hesitant to challenge. "Where's Herrik?" she asked much more brusquely than when she had spoken to me.

"I'm right here," Herrik strode into the room.

She and Avery turned to look at him but I kept my eyes on Carah. Something wasn't right in her expression. She seemed scared and surprised when she saw him walking towards her with Artur close on her heels.

"What can I do for you?"

She looked as though he was the last thing she expected to see, "It was you!" my mind accused and I frantically fought to keep the thought to myself. Herrik came and sat down beside me while Artur went to Avery's side. Artur took him by the elbow and led him away as if they had something important to discuss.

Herrik reached for my hand and inspected my wrist then looked up at Carah expectantly, "Emily had a slight," Herrik turned to Avery, "what did you say? Kitchen accident?"

"Yes," Avery nodded and turned his gaze back to Artur.

"Is there something you needed; I'm sorry we've been a little preoccupied as you can see."

"Oh, uh," Carah cleared her throat uncomfortably, "it can wait. It's nothing important," she turned intending to hurry away.

"Are you sure?" Herrik persisted.

"Yes, really. I'll come back when you're not so...so busy."

"My door is always open."

Carah smiled and nodded then slowly walked away.

## Chapter 14

As soon as she left Herrik, Avery and Artur started speaking at once. They obviously hadn't seen what I noticed in Carah's expression or manner. None of them mentioned or acknowledged in any way how suspicious she looked and acted. For a moment, I second guessed myself. Carah and I had never gotten along and I wondered if my distrust made me see something that wasn't truly there.

I glanced over at Herrik as he sat beside me. He was listening to Avery and Artur who had come back and were standing in front of him. His eyes darted back and forth between the two of them as they each pelted him with their theories and ideas. The thought that someone, who must have known him, had tried killing him thoroughly distressed Herrik.

It broke my heart to watch all the anguished emotions washing over him; I had to speak up even if I was wrong.

"It might have been Carah," I whispered.

Artur and Avery didn't hear me but Herrik did. He turned and looked at me with an incredulous expression, "What?!"

Avery and Artur quieted at the sound of his voice.

I took a deep breath, "I...I think it was Carah."

"No. Absolutely not!" Herrik shook his head back and forth.

It wasn't at all the reaction I expected. Herrik's outright rejection of the possibility stung. I stood up and faced him. "What makes you so sure?!" I asked and unfortunately, I sounded more like a jealous housewife than a confident, informed accuser.

Artur touched my elbow, Avery looked away and Herrik's expression softened when he realized how much he had upset me.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "I didn't mean for it to come out like that. We're all on edge right now and none of us are thinking clearly."

I started explaining myself, my suspicions, but Artur cut me off, "Emily, you don't understand what you're saying. It's just not possible. In fact, it's quite impossible any of the vampires here could plan an attempt on Herrik's life without him knowing."

Avery and Herrik nodded assent.

"Why not?" I demanded. "He's just as vulnerable as any of us. Even more so with his open-door policy and his unwavering trust of...of everybody..."

Herrik smiled and it seemed to say there was something they all knew, some vital piece of information I didn't possess.

"Carah could not have planned an attack on my life without me knowing. I assure you. None of the vampires could. They have all pledged themselves to me and..."

"A pledge?!" I guffawed. "A few words someone utters doesn't protect you from them doing you harm!" His confidence outraged me.

"I never told her," Herrik apologized to Avery and Artur.

"Never told me what?!" I demanded.

Herrik looked at Artur who cocked his head as if to say okay.

"Let's sit," Herrik took my hands and pulled me back to the chair then sat down beside me. Avery and Artur pulled chairs across from us. "Well, you see," Herrik bit his lip nervously, "when a vampire comes to join us they are allowed to stay on a trial basis without any questions or obligations. If they like it, if they decide to join our community, there is an...an initiation and they have to agree to pledge themselves to me."

I shrugged my shoulders still not fully understanding.

Artur met my eye, "The pledge is more than words, Emily. These vampires, everyone who is already here..." Artur motioned to himself and to Avery then all around as if to indicate the entire compound, "We are bound to Herrik by more than just words."

"We are bound by our blood," Avery added. "We have all willingly given our lives to Herrik."

"Oh," a hint of understanding crept across my mind. I remembered Artur and Herrik arguing one day, "How many have you pledged? Dozens? More? Do you have any idea how much it's changed you; how powerful you've become?" Artur had said. "You've taken their blood...all of it...and replaced it with your own," I mumbled awestruck by the idea and all its implications.

Herrik seemed reluctant to admit it but didn't deny it either.

"If I choose, and only if I choose, I hear the thoughts and intentions of every vampire who calls this their home. At any given time, I know where they are and what they are doing. It is not a power I wield lightly."

I buried my face in my hands and wondered what a terribly immense burden it must be. I felt awful for Herrik. So many people, so much responsibility and to have to exercise so much restraint, "How is that even possible for...for just one person?" I thought to myself. Reaching over I took his hand, "I'm sorry, Herrik. I...I didn't..."

"It's alright, Emily," he bowed his head. "It's not something you were meant to know. It's not the same for you as it is for us."

Artur cleared his throat, "Well, now that we all understand one another, we need to get back to the immediate issue."

Herrik shook his head, "No. No more tonight."

Both Avery and Artur protested.

Herrik held his hand up to stop their barrage of disapprovals. "Please," he said, "stop thinking about me for a moment and consider Emily."

They both looked at me. For the first time since we arrived at Herrik's apartment Avery and Artur seemed to realize Herrik wasn't the only one who had been through a lot that evening. They reluctantly agreed to meet again the following day, with clearer heads and calmer hearts.

Herrik insisted Avery and Artur go their apartments and to take every precaution, make every assurance they were safe before they laid down to rest for the day. When he finished giving his instructions, he offered to walk me home so I could get some of my things.

"Maybe you shouldn't stay here tonight," Artur looked hard at Herrik as he helped me up.

He shook his head, "I'm not going anywhere. Everyone will be resting. Avery cannot stay with Emily and neither can you or Carah," I frowned with distaste at the mention of her name. It didn't matter what they told me, pledge or no pledge I did not like and I did not trust Carah. "Besides it's unlikely anyone would be foolish enough to try again now that we're all on our guard."

"There are no locks on your doors and you are just as vulnerable as any of us once the sun comes up," Artur furthered his argument.

"You should stay with Emily," Avery suggested. I blushed scarlet when he said it but delightedly so. "No one would ever expect it," he said as if to advance the idea, "and the security for her apartment is better than any other in the compound. Besides you are safer with a hum...someone who can wake you if the need should arise."

Herrik realized the good sense in Avery's idea and he looked at me for approval.

"Penny and I would love to have you stay with us." I don't know why I added Penny to my answer but I must have wanted it sound more as though he was staying as our guest rather than as someone of intimacy.

"Well, then that's settled," Artur put his palms down on his thighs and hoisted himself from his seat, "Avery..."

Avery stood up and nodded to Herrik. Artur bent down and kissed my cheek goodnight, "Should anything happen, don't hesitate – just leave. Take Penny and go," Avery seconded what Artur said. "Your life is far more fragile than any of ours. We can take care of ourselves, especially now that we're aware of the potential danger. As you've seen tonight we are far more likely to survive an attack than you might imagine."

Though I had no intention of following his advice, I promised I would do exactly as he said. "I will not put myself or Penny in danger," I assured each of them.

Avery said a brusque goodbye and together he and Artur let themselves out.

We sat together on the chaise a moment longer. "It's probably not a good idea for Penny to see you like this," Herrik smiled and helped me to my feet.

I'm not sure why but knowing we were finally alone brought on a fit of anguish from me. Maybe I was just trying to be resilient in front of Avery and Artur. Maybe my earlier strength was a residual side effect from what I had taken from Avery and it had worn off. "Oh, God, Herrik!" I cried out when I grasped his fingers.

He wrapped himself around me protectively. "Ssh," he whispered, "you're safe. We're all safe now. There's nothing to worry about."

"I can't!" I said over and over again. There were so many things I wanted to say. "I can't believe you nearly died! I can't imagine my life without you!" None of it would come out in between my sobs and gasps for breath. "I can't not love you!"

I looked up and when I did, Herrik's lips found mine. His kiss consumed me and swept everything else away. My arms wound around his neck and my fingers raced through his hair as I held him tighter and tighter. My body clung to his melting and molding itself against him in a spasm of passionate desire.

Herrik pulled back somewhat surprised by my apparent urgency. He didn't say anything but his eyes seemed to question me. I couldn't wait. I couldn't control myself. Something insistent, something undeniable was happening to me. With a frantic determination, I stripped him from his clothes and covered his newly bared skin with kisses and caressed it with my fingertips as each article fell away.

He seemed reluctant and nervous as he eased the straps of my dress from my shoulders. It was impossible to endure, impossible to wait while he delicately fumbled with the fabric exposing me inch by inch. I thrust his hands away and latched onto the gown and tugged it down to my ankles before kicking it aside.

"Please," I begged. "I...I need," my breath came hard and fast. I tried opening my mind to him so he would understand exactly what I was feeling and why it had to be...

Thank God, he understood!

Herrik reached for me and ran his mouth up and down my neck, across my breasts. I smiled in wicked anticipation as he reached behind my thighs. When he lifted me off my feet I helped guide him with my fingertips as he thrust himself into me. I screamed in pleasure and pain and triumph as he backed me against the wall and I wrapped my legs around his hips. We moved together in a mindless need for fulfilment while all the years of yearning washed over me.

Feeling the two of us so perfectly united and sharing myself with Herrik unburdened me. It freed me to enjoy all the emotions I had denied for so, so very long. All the love and longing and passion I'd kept hidden seemed unbearable and the pressure of it all built up inside me. I cried out in a confused, maddening agony that erupted into a glorious torrent of sensual pleasure. My back arched then I feel forward breathless and quivering across Herrik's shoulder as we shuddered and heaved blissfully against one another.

We clung together for several minutes before we gradually grew aware of the world around us again. Herrik released my thighs and I put my feet down one at a time. I laid my head against his chest while he buried his face in my hair.

"Emily," he kissed the back of my neck, "I'm so sorry," his voice soft and full of regret. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. I...It should have been special...memorable."

I didn't understand why he was apologizing. "No...no...it was perfect!" I insisted. I reached up and took his face in my hands. "It couldn't have been any other way! I love you and...oh, God! I have waited so long to show you how I feel. It had to be now! It had to be like this! There was no way I could've held onto these feelings any longer!"

He smiled timidly then bent down and tasted my lips.

I smiled against his kiss, "We can try it your way next time," I teased though I wasn't sure it would ever be any different between us. Just looking at him made me want him all over again.

"It's getting late," he steered me back to moment.

I took a deep breath and sighed, "Yes. Yes, it is."

"Gianni would be beside himself if he saw this," Herrik held up the remnants of my dress and chuckled. "Come let's get you cleaned up and I'll see what I can dig up for you to wear until we can get you home."

Herrik brought me to his bedroom and he helped me with everything I would need for my shower. When I finished I saw the outfit he had laid out for me. I slipped into it then I found him waiting for me in the living area. He was sitting in one of the lounge chairs in front of the fireplace staring into the flames and didn't seem to notice me approaching. As I drew near I called out to him, "Herrik?" He didn't answer me right away and I wondered why. His chin rested on the back of his hand and his eyes held a faraway look.

"Is everything alright?" I asked as I stepped up behind him and laid my hand on his shoulder.

He turned his head and kissed my fingertips, "Just thinking," he said.

"Penny for your thoughts..." I offered, my voice full of hope.

"Penny...actually I was thinking about Penny and how much we should tell her. But that's not all," he met my eyes, "I can't help wondering what might have happened if I had made my decision sooner."

"Decision?" I asked unsure what he was referring to. I came around the chair and Herrik pulled me down onto his lap.

"To send you back to your family."

"Herrik! You can't possibly still be planning on doing that?!"

"No," he kissed me. "I won't lie and tell you I haven't thought about it though. Every year that passed I told myself it was time but selfishly held onto you. I knew you would never be content, never be...fulfilled here with us. I couldn't imagine my life without you, though, and now it's too late. Not only are you not safe here with me but I would never forgive myself if I let you go and something happened to you out there!"

"Herrik," I wanted to contradict him, to tell him, yes, I wanted to leave. But it was only because it was too hard to face him every day with everything that was in my heart and knowing we would never be together.

"How could I have done this?! To you...to myself! Having you live with Penny, encouraging you to study with Artur and making you train with Avery. On top of it all, I shared all my favorite things with you and watched you fall in love with them, too. God himself could not have designed a more perfect woman for me!" Herrik laid his forehead against my chest as I stroked his hair and quietly listened to what sounded like a confession. "I meant what I said earlier, Emily, you are everything to me. He looked up his eyes full of all the emotions warring inside of him, "I love you."

"I have no regrets, Herrik. I am proud of who I am, who you've helped me become. I love you for it and Penny and Avery and Artur, too!"

"Do you?"

"Of course, I do!"

"But it's only temporary Emily; it can only last so long and then...You don't want a life like mine," he sighed. I started to interject, "I've seen your thoughts, Emily, sensed your hopes and dreams! And even if I hadn't I wouldn't let you make that choice. I would find a way to...to...discourage you!"

What could I say, there was nothing I could say. "Herrik, please, let's not talk about these things. There are too many other things for us to worry about right now besides the future is something neither one of us can predict." I tilted his chin and kissed him.

He smiled weakly, "You're right. Now is not the time but promise me...promise me that when it comes, you'll let me do what needs to be done."

I considered refusing but his expression looked so earnest and full of love I would have said anything to make him happy, "I promise."

"Thank you," he took my hand and eased me from his lap. "I have to get a few things before we leave."

I watched him go and waited until he returned. It was only a minute or so later when he came back carrying a small bag of belongings. "Shall we?"

"Yes," I smiled giddy at the prospect of having him spend the night.

"After you."

The last of the light was fading from the garden. By the time we reached my apartment I noticed Herrik was succumbing to the first effects of the approaching dawn so many stories above us. He looked weary and moved with a slightly sluggish air. I doubt anyone would have noticed the changes, they were so subtle. I sensed he needed to rest, though, and after letting us into the apartment I ushered him down the hall to my bedroom.

Penny hadn't waited up for me and fortunately her bedroom was on the opposite end of the apartment so she didn't hear us come in. I squeezed Herrik's hand knowing we escaped the need for explanations for the time being and he smiled down at me. After locking the door, I went to the curtains and pulled them all closed then turned on the light.

When I finished I whirled around and found Herrik standing right behind me. He had a strange look in his eyes that I didn't fully understand. "May I?" he asked as he began to unbutton the shirt he had lent me.

"So soon?"

"No, just this," he smiled, "for now. I want to feel you when you lie down next to me. I want you to be the first thing I feel when I wake," he ran his fingers up and down and around my navel.

We helped each other from our clothes then Herrik drew back the covers and together we crawled into bed and coiled ourselves around one another.

"I love you," he whispered and kissed my temple.

"Take me somewhere," I mumbled as I nestled against him.

"Where would you like to go?"

I closed my eyes and yawned, "Somewhere warm and soft and happy."

I felt myself swaying, back and forth, back and forth. Herrik had his strong arms wrapped around me and dappled sunlight shined down on us. There was a light breeze and the leaves rustled above our heads. When I opened my eyes, I sensed it was springtime and the world was just coming into bloom. We lay together in a hammock tied between two slender birch trees. There were a pair of squirrels nearby, chasing one another and the birds were singing. In the background a soft, tinkling brook or stream added to the chorus and united itself with the other sounds.

"Perfect," I took a deep breath and let myself drift off while Herrik stroked my arm with the tips of his fingers.

It was hard to wake up the following morning but Herrik was insistent. He kept nibbling my ear and whispering my name, "Emily...come on Emily...it's time to get up."

"Five more minutes," I mumbled.

"Uh, uh...we have a lot to do today. Please wake up...please," he ran his teeth over my neck and urged me further from sleep.

"Ugh," I moaned grumpily at first but when I opened my eyes and saw him smiling across the pillow at me I lost all my anger.

He leaned over and kissed me, "Good morning!"

"Good morning," I kissed him back.

His lips lingered against mine and it sent a wave of heat rushing through my body. It would have been impossible for Herrik not to notice and sitting up he eased the covers down until we were both completely exposed. I enjoyed his admiration and blushed at the appreciation in his eyes.

"You're so beautiful," he caressed my hair then my cheek. I tried sitting up eager to take part but Herrik had other ideas. He gently put his hands on my shoulders and laid me back down before beginning a fervent exploration of my body.

Tauntingly, teasingly with lips and tongue and fingers he roved over every square inch of my skin watching the flesh ripple with goose bumps wherever he strayed.

"I love this," he said as he kissed one of my nipples, "and this," he ran his tongue around my belly button, "and this," his fingers played along the inside of my thigh.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing when he tickled me or from crying out at the desperate desire I suffered from wanting to be with him again.

He was devilishly calm though and determined to make me wait. Herrik eased my legs apart and I buried my face in my pillow. His tongue found its mark and caressed me almost to the point where I thought I would climax without him but he abruptly pulled away.

I almost cried at the sudden denial but then, oh, finally, I felt him hard against me and I reached down and urged him inside.

"Oh, Herrik," I breathed.

His strokes were long and leisurely, gently in, not quite all the way, then slowly, oh, so slowly out. My hips tried holding him, to take more than he was giving but he wouldn't allow it. He was enjoying it far too much, the torture he was putting me through. It made me peevish and resentful. I tried forcing myself not to give in, to forget how enticing it was and to not let him know how delirious he was making me.

Unfortunately, my resistance only intensified the wondrous sensations he was creating and my struggle was short lived. I sat up no longer willing to be passive and dragged him down on top of me. I rolled him over so I could control our progress. For a moment, I tried being patient and to give him time to savor the experience but my body kept moving of its own volition.

Herrik raised one of his fingers to his lips and ran his tongue all around it. Then he surprised me and after a brief search found what he was looking for. He matched his rhythm to mine and stroked me as I brought him in and out, in and out. It felt unimaginable and my yearning amplified to a near unendurable point. I leaned back and braced myself, thrusting, thrusting. He grasped my hips and like a signal we both cried out in frantic fulfilment.

"Emily? Are you alright?" Penny knocked on the door.

Herrik and I both snapped out of our carnal haze.

"I'm fine," I chuckled unable to say anything more.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep."

"You got in late last night. If you're hungry, I can make some breakfast."

I shrugged and widened my eyes in question to Herrik. He nodded, "Sounds great. I'll be right out."

We flung ourselves out of bed and hurriedly cleaned ourselves up and got dressed. I finished before Herrik and opened the bedroom door intending to go to the kitchen so I could offer to help Penny with breakfast. It was the last thing I expected and my heart fell to the floor when I saw her standing there posed to knock again.

"I was going to ask what you would...like...to...eat...oh," she glanced over my shoulder to where Herrik stood tucking his shirt in.

Penny's face fell in shock.

"It's not what you think," the words rushed out.

"Not what I think?! It had better be what I think and about damn time, too!" her expression went into a wild, confused, happy grin.

Herrik looked just as surprised as I was by the warm reception to our obvious escapades. He said good morning to Penny then came and stood behind me putting his hands on my shoulders. He kissed my cheek as if to confirm all of Penny's suspicions. I laid one of my hands over his, "Would you like to stay or do you need to get home?" I asked.

"Artur is waiting for me, sorry."

"Next time."

"Next time," he bent and whispered in my ear, "I love you. Come whenever you can. Artur would like to speak with you, too." I nodded and offered to walk him to the door but Herrik insisted he let himself out. I said goodbye before turning to face Penny.

"So how long has this been going on?" she asked.

"Oh, Penny! Please don't tease me!"

"Tease you? No, I'm happy for you! Thrilled for you...for you both!"

"I don't want anyone to know. Please don't say anything to anyone."

Penny frowned, "Now who would I say anything to and even if I did have someone to tell who wouldn't rejoice at the idea of you and Herrik together? I'm sure everyone would be just as excited to hear that you both have found some happiness after all you've been through."

"It's too soon," I insisted. "This was the first time...second...our first night together..."

"Twice in one night?! My you are a little minx!"

"Penny!" I was aghast and buried my face in my hands.

"I'm sorry," she quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. Honestly, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I couldn't resist. Besides, there's nothing to be ashamed of, especially knowing how much the two of you care about one another."

"Good Lord! Am I the only one that didn't know?" I started walking towards the kitchen.

"Probably, yes. We've all suspected."

"Well, it's complicated and I would rather not share it with anyone until it's absolutely necessary."

"I understand," she sighed. She went to the fridge and gave me a rundown of what she thought I might like to eat.

I knew Penny had dozens of questions she wanted to ask but thankfully she honored my wishes and didn't press me to answer any of them. I carefully evaded any topics that might force me to mention Herrik. By the time breakfast was over, I knew I had left her thoroughly dissatisfied with what little she learned.

"Herrik said Artur needed to see me," I told her once we had cleaned up. "I'm not sure when I'll be back but I'll send Avery if it looks like it will go beyond lunchtime. Is there anything you need before I go?"

"Just this," she threw her arms around me and hugged me tight, "I'm so happy for you," she wiped a few tears from her eyes.

"Thank you, Penny. Thank you for...for everything."

I was edgy during the walk to Herrik's apartment; I kept wondering how I would need to act in front of Artur and Avery, too, if he happened to be there.

"No, I'm right here."

"Avery!" I must have been too keyed up to keep my thoughts concealed.

"Herrik sent me. Just to be safe," he quickly added. "And speaking of safe...just a friendly reminder..."

"Right," I tucked my thoughts away, "I'll be more careful. Have you been to Herrik's yet?"

"No, I've been waiting for you."

Avery matched my stride. He walked beside me with his hands clutched behind his back as though he was in some silent contemplation with himself.

"Is everything alright?"

"Hmm," he mumbled, "yes. Fine. I..." he frowned, "we haven't always..." he fought for the right words.

"Please, you don't have to..." I shook my head.

"I do. I've misjudged you. More than once. Last night...you stayed so calm...you were so strong...so strong for him...for Herrik. Besides Artur there is no other person I admire more."

"Not even Penny?"

Avery stopped in his tracks.

"Oh, my! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that," I reached out and touched his arm.

"It's fine. There are some things our blood can't hide. That's between you and me though, and only you and me."

"You can take it away if you like," I opened my mind up for him.

"No. That's necessary," he waved me off.

"I'm sorry," I apologized again.

We were nearing the pond and when we got to the water's edge Avery stopped me, "I shouldn't have been there. I don't know why I went, why I followed you. Curiosity? Jealousy? I watched the two of you leave, wishing and imagining it was me and Penny. I will never be the kind of man Herrik is though. She would never love me the way you love Herrik."

I shook my head, "You don't know that."

"I do. Women like you and like Penny do not love men like me. You love men like Herrik and..." Avery paused as if he was about to say something and thought better of it, "that's just the way it is."

"Daemon," I don't know why but his name popped into my head. I couldn't shake the idea that Avery believed Penny was in love with Herrik's son. The more I considered it, the more likely it seemed. If they were openly lovers that would explain why Herrik spared her all those years ago at Jesse's judgment. He might have done it for Daemon's sake and not for mine. And Herrik would have had intimate knowledge of Penny and the kind of person she was. He wouldn't have trusted her to look after me if he didn't.

"I didn't mean to tell you so much. Actually, none of this is what I wanted to talk about."

"Oh," the sudden change in Avery's tone and expression was puzzling.

"I think you were right. I think..." Avery took a deep breath and lowered his voice, "I think Carah is behind what happened to Herrik."

It shocked me and I shook my head in disbelief as we walked. I couldn't imagine why Avery would suspect Carah as much as I did.

"Herrik is waiting for us. But you...you and I we need to talk...soon."

"Yes! Yes!" I nodded.

"Herrik will be busy with Artur all day. I'm sure of it. Send Penny out for something...food, clothes, whatever you can come up with that will buy us the most time. I will come by as soon as Herrik can spare me."

I readily agreed then took a moment to collect myself so I wouldn't arouse Herrik's suspicion. He would have known something was wrong if I walked in looking as agitated and on edge as I was. A minute or two later Avery led me through the door to Herrik's apartment where we found him, Carah and Artur all anxiously awaiting our arrival. 

## Chapter 15

Herrik immediately stood up and came to me, "Good. You're here!" he took my hands and kissed my cheeks.

I didn't expect him to be affectionate in front of everyone, especially Carah. It must have been terribly distasteful for her to see me with Herrik. I tried not to look so flustered and confused as I smiled at each one of them while he led me to the chaise. He sat down beside me and gave me a warm, encouraging grin. Artur and Avery seemed indifferent to the attention Herrik paid me and acted as though nothing out of the ordinary had taken place.

But Carah...I couldn't put a finger on it. She looked, "Smug?" I asked myself. She seemed quite pleased with the fact that Herrik wanted everyone to understand exactly where I stood in his eyes.

"Well, you're all aware why you're here so I won't go over it again. What we need to do now is find out who and why. Emily, you and Avery were the only ones who might have seen anything other than myself. If you're both willing, I would like to share your perspectives with you."

"Of course," Avery nodded. He stood up and took Herrik's hand.

Carah and Artur stood up as well. Artur clasped Avery's hand on one side and Carah's on the other while Herrik grasped mine. Carah stood to my right and stretched her fingers towards me to complete the circle. I clamped down on my revolt as I cautiously took her hand in mine. It was dizzying and chaotic with so many images happening all at once. A small part of me instinctively resisted sharing my thoughts with the others. Once I recognized Herrik's reassuring presence he helped me relax enough to open up my mind to him and the rest of the group.

He avoided all the personal sentiments that were at the forefront of my mind and obscured my most recent and prominent memories. After those were hidden he searched for the moment when we were leaving the theater. As we made our way to the car, walking and talking, the scene changed slightly to a new and odd perspective, a rooftop perhaps. It must have been Avery's view. He was too far away to see anything in great detail. A moment later I saw myself pivot and hurry down the sidewalk. I decided that was Herrik's perspective. When he forced me to face him it switched again and I realized it was my eyes everyone was seeing through.

"Huh!" I sucked in my breath, "How did I not notice that?" Herrik was holding me, trying to convince me it was time for me to go back to my family. I wasn't thinking clearly and then he fell and I...I...saw him running away. Not the gunman, I didn't recognize him and he was dead anyway – Avery had made sure of that.

"Jesse," Herrik whispered and slowly withdrew from all of our thoughts.

"Well, that explains a lot," Carah grumbled.

"And leaves a lot of unanswered questions," Artur added.

"But it's a good starting point," Herrik affirmed.

"I...I..." I wanted to say something but wasn't sure what. Something still seemed to be missing, and not quite right with what we just saw.

Herrik looked at me full of concern, "What's wrong? Does it hurt? It can be painful sometimes, especially if you resist."

I shook my head trying to clear it, "No. I'm fine," I laid my hand on his thigh and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

My mind wouldn't let it go though, that sense of wrongness with what we had all seen. Herrik and the others were talking about discrete ways to interrogate the residents of the upper levels without raising any suspicions. They wondered if any of Jesse's old friends still lived there in the compound and if something happened that had somehow restored his memories. Perhaps he came across one of his old band mates and convinced them to help him get his revenge.

Herrik was quiet but Carah, Avery and Artur presented their theories one after the other. I tried listening but I was too busy puzzling through my misgivings. Herrik held his hand up and the others quieted down, "Are you sure you're alright, Emily?"

"I'm fi..." I glanced up and caught Avery's eye then let out a hefty sigh. "Well, maybe I am a little uncomfortable," I said hoping that if I excused myself and went home, it might give me and Avery a chance to talk. I wondered if he noticed anything wrong with the images we just shared and if together we would be able to make some sense of them.

"Do you want to lie down for a bit? You can rest here if you like," Herrik suggested.

"No, I promised Penny I would have lunch with her today. Maybe if I head back I can get some fresh air along the way and clear my head. I really don't want to disappoint her again."

Herrik smiled, "Penny's going to have to get used to disappointment," his voice echoed in my thoughts unheard by anyone else. He took my hand and walked me a few steps away from the group. "I'll come by once we're done here," he kissed me goodbye and as I left, he made his way back to the others.

I took my time walking home while wondering what errand I could send Penny on. It had to be something that would give me and Avery enough time to talk about all our reservations.

"Food, clothes," Avery had suggested. "Lingerie?" I giggled. It seemed like a viable and a worthwhile endeavor.

When I got home, I found Penny folding laundry in her room, "You're back early," she said.

"Yeah, Artur wanted to ask about my thoughts on the opera last night. We've been studying Greek tragedies and he was curious to hear the types of comparisons I would be able to make. Honestly," I chuckled, "I hadn't given it much thought until he asked. I just enjoyed the performance and the time I spent with Herrik. I didn't realize Artur would consider it an educational outing."

"He would," Penny smiled back. "So, what are your plans now?"

I yawned and stretched, "I might go lie down for a bit."

"Ah," Penny nodded, her expression implying that she knew very well why I wasn't feeling rested.

I stood there for a minute wondering how to introduce the topic I chose for sending her out. While I tried coming up with a way to ask Penny picked up one of her camisoles from the stack of clean laundry. "Is there something wrong?" she asked.

I looked up, "No," I mumbled then "ooh, that's pretty," I said and took a few steps forward to get a better look. "I wonder if..." I pretended to be too embarrassed to finish the thought.

"Wonder what?"

"If...Herrik would like something like this?"

"I'm sure he would," Penny brightened at my reluctant boldness. She came and laid a hand on arm, "You shouldn't be so embarrassed by what you're feeling. It's perfectly natural, especially when it's so new. It's exciting and probably all you can think about. He's...he's a good man, Emily. I couldn't imagine you with anyone less."

"Thank you, Penny," I sighed. "I wish everyone wasn't so busy. I'm sure Herrik would let us go out together if Avery was free and willing to come with us. Oh, well," I started to turn away.

Penny's natural goodwill took over and she quickly made her offer, "I can go out for you."

"Really?" I whirled back. I didn't need to feign my excitement.

"Sure. There's a few things I'd like to get for myself and today is as good as any other to get them."

"Oh! Thank you! Thank you!" I hugged her.

"It's no problem. Just let me finish this up and I'll head out."

"That was too easy," I thought to myself. I felt guilty for deceiving her so I offered to help. There wasn't much left by the time we finished our conversation and when I yawned again Penny reminded me of my intentions.

"Weren't you going to lie down?"

"Soon," I said. I asked her if there was anything she wanted me to do around the apartment while she ran our errands.

"I can't think of anything," she shook her head then smiling shooed me away. When I went to my room and closed the door, I realized I was just as tired as I pretended to be. I stretched out on my bed and closed my eyes while I waited for Penny to leave. I knew Avery would try coming as soon as possible but would wait until he was sure Penny had gone out before dropping by. Though it wasn't likely to be for very long, I decided I would actually try resting before he arrived.

"Just a few minutes," I assured myself.

It didn't take long for me to doze off and I slept so soundly I didn't hear my buzzer when it rang. I didn't hear Carah when she came into the apartment either or when she opened the door to my bedroom. The emotional overload from the past 24 hours had exhausted me and kept from waking. When Carah came to where I lay she brushed the hair back from my forehead. I smiled happily imagining it was Herrik standing beside my bed trying to wake me.

"Herrik," I said dreamily.

"Sorry to disappoint you," Carah apologized. I opened my eyes when I heard her voice, realizing it was not the one I expected.

"Carah!" I cried out sitting up and clutching my blankets to my chest.

"Yes, Emily. It's me. It was me!" her voice growled.

Frowning and full of wonder I struggled to make sense of what was happening. I had a hundred questions but none of them would come out. In my hazy, half-wake state I noticed Carah was holding me in that dreadful mental paralysis similar to what Avery was so adept at. I tried breaking free but my body was full of fear and I couldn't shake her. I opened my mouth to cry out for help but she must have had control of my voice as well. Unable to move, unable to scream; all I could do was stare blankly at her while I tried figuring out what she was doing and why.

"That bullet was meant for you, Emily!"

"Oh, God!" my mind cried realizing that my suspicions were correct. Strangely it relieved me, knowing Carah wanted to kill me and not Herrik. Then she started speaking again and my relief was short-lived.

"Herrik wouldn't have thought twice about healing you. I knew he loved you! He would gladly throw this all away and break every one of his laws if it meant keeping you alive. It wouldn't have worked, though. Herrik might be strong enough to survive one of those bullets but you! Never! And he's too proud of his humanity to take yours. He'd let you die before he ever... God, how I would have loved to pull that trigger myself! I would have brought him before the council and shown everyone just where his priorities lie! With you gone and Jesse to blame it would have been all too easy to turn them against having your kind here! Herrik's little haven would be all mine!" Carah took a deep breath, "But I guess Freya was right when she insisted I limit my involvement."

"Freya?"

"Well, there's no help for it now," Carah seemed to be bolstering herself for whatever she was about to do. Suddenly she latched on and for a fleeting moment I knew exactly what she was planning.

"I need his secrets, Emily," her mind seemed to say. "I need all of Herrik's secrets and you're just the one to tell them to me!"

In desperation, I tried hanging onto them, to cloak my thoughts the way Herrik had taught me. Carah was too strong though. I saw them slipping across my mind's eye as Carah drew them away from me and into herself. My soul seemed to ache and cry out to her, "Stop, please stop! You love Herrik! I know you do! Why would you do this to him?!"

"Oh," the idea dawned on me. I understood. He had rejected her, more than once. When she finally realized that she would never, could never have him, she decided to take the compound as her revenge. What I didn't understand was why she believed killing me and destroying Herrik would give her what she wanted. No one would ever follow her once they realized what she had done.

"They'll never know. No one will ever find out," Carah insisted. Besides, I'm not going to kill you. You're my insurance. Once I show the council what Herrik has done...all the laws he has broken...the very laws he himself made and insisted we follow! He'll confess if he thinks they'll spare you. And then it will be over...it will all be over!"

"No!" I shouted finally breaking free from her. I opened my mind hoping Herrik would sense the danger I was in but Carah was too fast. Her right hand flashed out and seized my face. Her gaze burrowed into mine and it all began crumbling in my mind. Everything she had done, everything that had just happened was ground to dust and blown away. My head lolled, my eyes rolled and I fell back onto the bed.

Carah checked my pulse and laid her palm on my forehead searchingly. Once she finished her assessment, she tucked me back beneath the covers. She made sure there weren't any signs she had been there, then slipped away.

It was well past lunchtime when I woke. I felt refreshed but ravenously hungry. Penny hadn't made it home yet and I wasn't sure when I should expect her so I decided to make something for myself rather than wait. As I rifled through the refrigerator, a sudden smile brightened my face. I had the uncanny sense that Herrik was nearby and when the doorbell rang, I hurried to answer it.

Herrik was facing the garden, watching a bird flitting by with its beak full of some treasure or other it had collected for lining its nest. He turned as soon as he heard me at the door. "I knew it was you!" I threw my arms around him.

"Well, who else would it have been? Is there someone trying to woo you away from me? Who is he? And does he bring you these?" he offered me a bouquet of wildflowers he had gathered during his walk to my apartment.

"Oh, they're beautiful!" I reached out to take them from him.

"Uh, uh! Not until you tell me who he is," Herrik teased.

"Aww, you know there's no one else!"

Herrik's playful expression slipped for a moment. He handed me the flowers and took my chin. I waited eagerly for him to kiss me but instead he peered into my eyes and tilted my face this way and that. My heart skipped a beat while he looked at me. He took my breath away.

"Have you been anywhere today? Had any company?"

"Hmm? No. I came straight home and took a nap. Penny's the only other person I've seen today. Why do you ask?"

Herrik shook his head and frowned in confusion. A moment later his brilliant smile returned, "I'm sorry you look a little...it's nothing. Probably just some residual cloudiness from this morning. Are you going to invite me in or should I scoop you up and let myself in?"

I grinned but never had a chance to answer, he swept me and my flowers off my feet and carried me inside. After kicking the door closed with the back of his foot he kissed me then carefully set me back down.

"Oh, I've missed you!" He buried his face in my hair.

"Have you? It's only been a few hours."

He looked saddened by my lack of empathy, "Haven't you missed me?"

His hands were on my hips and my arms around his neck. I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his. I opened my mind so he would see exactly how much I had missed him and how happy I was to have him there with me.

"That's better," he whispered against my kiss.

As I pulled back my stomach let out a loud rumble reacquainting me with my hunger.

"I thought you were going to have lunch with Penny."

"I was but I fell asleep and I guess she didn't want to wait." He followed me to the kitchen where I filled a vase and put his flowers in it.

"Well, that's good actually, because I wanted to invite you to dinner."

"Oh, are you sure you want to go out again so soon and after all that's happened?"

"I didn't plan on taking you out. I planned on making dinner for you."

My eyes went wide with surprise, "Really?" I remembered the last time he cooked for me and my stomach growled again with anticipation.

"If you can control that beast in your belly for an hour or so, yes!"

I cocked my head at him, "Challenge accepted!"

Herrik smiled and reached for my hand, "Let's be on our way then."

"Should I grab anything?"

"I'll do the grabbing," he playfully whirled me around and drew me close before kissing me again.

"Do unto others..."

Herrik clutched my hand before I followed through, "Dinner first," he chided.

"Fine," I rolled my eyes and dutifully followed him to the door. "Let me leave a note for Penny so she'll know not to wait for me." We stopped at the console in the foyer and I scribbled a few lines before we left.

We walked hand in hand our steps slow and leisurely. While we made our way through the serenity of the garden Herrik glanced at me time and again. I wondered how he managed to stay so calm and confident under the circumstances. Despite everything his eyes were bright with happiness. I envied and idolized him for his strength and surety and hoped he wasn't being careless. He had told Avery and Artur to consider all the possibilities but I wondered what precautions he had taken to protect himself.

When we got to his apartment, we went straight to the kitchen. He had obviously expected I wouldn't reject his offer for dinner and had several things prepped and waiting for whatever he had in mind.

"So, what are we making?" I asked as I studied the various ingredients.

"We? Me," Herrik corrected. "You will sit," he tucked me up onto the kitchen island, "right here and keep me company while I work."

After giving me a quick peck, Herrik uncorked a bottle of wine and poured a glass for me. As I took a small sip, he slipped on an apron then got started on my meal. It didn't seem fair to be sitting sipping wine while he put so much effort into making a dinner he wouldn't be able to enjoy. When he saw how distraught I was Herrik reminded me how much he liked to cook and his expression confirmed his assertion.

"How did everything go today after I left?" I asked curious to hear what kind of resolutions he and Artur, Carah and Avery had come up with.

Herrik took a deep breath and dipped his fingertips into a dish of seasonings he had whisked together. He rubbed them into a thick filet resting on a nearby cutting board. "Well, we are going to start with the people Jesse was closest to. Carah and Avery have contacts on the upper levels who they will discretely use as eyes and ears to learn whatever they can. If they uncover anyone suspicious, they will bring them to Artur. He oversees everyone's work assignments so he can study them under the pretense of job assessments and satisfaction. Other than that, we really don't have any plans – just watch and wait."

"Watch and wait? That doesn't sound very expedient," I sipped my wine again and tried not to sound quite as concerned as I was.

"We can't be too aggressive, Emily. If we are, whoever was behind this might realize we're aware of them. We don't want to make anyone nervous enough to escape without justice. Who knows what kind of havoc they might wreak if they thought they were in danger of discovery. Exposure is the last thing we want right now."

"I understand," I shook my head, "but I'm still worried for you."

Herrik brushed my temple with a kiss, "Don't be. We're here and we're together and that is the last thing I want you to be thinking about under such favorable circumstances." He laid his hand on my cheek reassuringly then turned away and went to the stove.

"May I ask you something?"

"Of course. Anything!" Herrik replied eager to change the subject.

"How old are you?"

He paused what he was doing and looked at me with a quirky little grin, "Where did that come from and why? Would it change the way you feel about me if you knew?"

"Maybe," I teased.

"Well, then I'm 29," he turned back to the stove. I thought I still saw a hint of a smile playing on his profile.

"I'm sure I could figure it out if I wanted," I teased.

"Could you?"

"Hmm...let's see," I tapped my chin with my fingertip and shifted my gaze. "If you were 29 when...and Daemon was about 24 when...Oh, my!" I laughed out loud. "You must be over 60!"

Herrik sighed and seemed dismayed by my deductions.

"Oh," I quickly apologized. "Please," I begged, "I didn't mean anything by it. I...I love you. Herrik," I hopped off the counter, "I love you," I covered him with kisses.

"It's not that," he took my face in my hands. "I know you love me. I know how much you love me," I felt him sifting through my thoughts and willingly let him see how right he was.

"Then what's wrong?"

Herrik turned off the stove and covered the skillet he was using to keep the steak warm. "Carah suggested something and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind."

"What's that?" I couldn't imagine how his age had anything to do with whatever Carah said.

"That it might have been Daemon who put Jesse up to this."

"Daemon?"

Herrik nodded, "Mmm, hmm."

I shook my head, "But how and why? You said it couldn't have been a vampire; that they are all pledged to you."

"Daemon never was. I wouldn't let him. He's my son. My flesh and blood. I trusted him completely, absolutely."

I wasn't sure what to say. My mind was a flurry of thoughts. Herrik took his apron off and laid it on the counter. He was quiet and solemn as he arranged my plate, placing everything he had made for me just so. Afterwards he refilled my wine glass and handed it to me then gathered up my dinner and led me to the table.

Herrik helped me with my chair and took a seat beside me. I felt like I'd lost my appetite after the turn our conversation had taken.

"Please," he encouraged me, "eat. Eat!" and when I didn't immediately respond he started cutting up my meat for me.

"Okay, okay, I'll eat!" I took the fork from him and laid the knife down. I gathered his free hand in mine then took my first bite.

"Oh," I rolled my eyes, "it's delicious!"

"Thank you. And thank you for sharing," he ran his fingers across mine.

After a few bites, I decided to pick up the topic of Daemon again. "I'm sure it wasn't him, Herrik. I remember when...we met. He seemed like a good man. Daemon was...he's just like you. He would never do something like this!" I shook my head in emphasis.

"I hope you're right."

"I am! There's no doubt in my mind!"

He smiled, happy with my assertion.

"May I ask you something else?"

This time Herrik wasn't as quick to answer. He hesitated a long moment before he replied. "You can ask, but I can't promise to answer if I don't like your question."

His expression made me reluctant but I wanted to know something about Daemon and Herrik was the only one likely to have the information, "How did Daemon become like you? Vampires aren't born...and I know you didn't...you wouldn't have..."

Herrik's jaw clenched and he tightened his grip on my fingers. For a moment, I didn't think he was going to answer and when he opened his mouth to speak I was sure he was going to change the subject.

"I don't know. He couldn't remember and when I tried finding it in his mind, there was nothing there. Whatever happened, whoever did it, they were strong enough to wipe it all away."

"Why would anyone do that? Just change him and leave him without any memories of what they'd done," I wondered out loud.

"I can't even begin to guess. It's forbidden here, embracing humans, unless...well...for life partners it can be approved by the council."

The statement surprised me. I wasn't sure why Herrik never told me but it seemed like a terribly important thing for me to understand.

"I never told you because I don't want you to consider it. You promised me already that when the time comes."

I looked away and rather than confront him, I turned my focus back to Daemon.

"How did you find him? Or did he find you?"

"I've always watched over him. The same way I watch over your family, though no system is infallible. There must have been an unguarded moment somewhere and somehow...Thankfully Carah found him and brought him to me. It was one of the saddest days of my life...but one of the happiest, too," Herrik's eyes were pools of emotion. "I finally had the chance to meet my son, to know my son and for him to know me."

I reached out and touched his cheek, "It must have been very hard."

"At first. But he adjusted and so did I. Penny had a lot to do with it."

"Penny?"

"Yes, she came to us when she was about the age you were when Carah brought you here." Herrik eyed my plate and didn't start speaking again until I picked up my fork. "Her family...every one of them...slaughtered. They made it look like a robbery gone wrong but there were obvious signs a vampire had done it. Artur believed it was an execution. We heard rumors; that it might have been vengeance for something that happened lifetimes ago. For some reason, though, when he came to her, when it was her time to...he couldn't do it. He left her there untouched while her mother, father, brothers and sister..." Herrik pursed his lips and sighed. "It's another of those situations that's impossible to understand."

"Artur is ever on the watch for these types of anomalies. She was in the news for days. Everyone thought she was insane. They put her in a hospital and she was soon forgotten – the crazy girl whose family was murdered by a vampire. Artur insisted we could give her a better life; that we owed it to her and to ourselves. He sent Avery and he brought her here to us."

"She grew up in the compound, much like you did. But it wasn't until Daemon came that she finally felt at home here. In her mind, she was an outsider and for the longest time neither one of them felt like they belonged. When they met...everything changed. They just...blossomed. I think hearing her talk about her life with us and learning all he learned from her about how we lived. It convinced Daemon more than anything else could. And his love for her did very much the same – made Penny realize that she could belong, that their two worlds could coexist. He helped her see that anything was possible even after all that she had been through."

"So, why did he run away? What happened that would change all that?"

"They went to the council and petitioned for Penny to become one of us."

"And they denied them," I said realizing that was the only possibility.

"It was a split decision...it was the only choice I was willing to make."

My face fell, "Oh...you..."

Herrik lowered his gaze.

"They tried running away but Avery or Carah, one of them learned of their plans and caught Daemon trying to...to..."

"You don't have to say," I understand.

"They brought him before the council and...I...I just couldn't be there. I sent Artur in my place...they sentenced Daemon...there is only one punishment for unlawfully embracing a human..."

"Please, Herrik...you've said enough," I got up and stood behind him. I laid my chin on the top of his head and wrapped my arms around his chest while I kissed and comforted him.

"No...no there's more...I...I think you should know. I helped him escape...I made it look like I was trying to stop him. I...I took as much as I dared from him then I let him go...let him run. He should have been miles and miles away but Carah has an exceptional gift for tracking. He wasn't fast enough and before the night had barely begun, she managed to find him. Somehow he fought himself free after she caught him and...and he hid under a house..."

"My house!"

"Yes..." Herrik whispered. "You found him. I saw you find him. I had so much of Daemon's blood in me! It felt like it was me lying there in the dust and dirt! I made him...I forced him to accept your help...I'm sorry." Herrik sobbed, "I never knew what it would mean for you. I thought you would give him just enough...just enough...but I had taken more from him than I imagined and Carah had weakened him, too. He couldn't stop. He didn't stop!"

Herrik's arms wrapped around me and he clung to me full of grief and remorse. "I'm sorry, Emily! I stole your life from you to save my son and now...I've forced you to love me when I have done nothing to earn or be worthy of that devotion!"

Though his words filled me with regret, I closed my eyes and with all the surety I could muster, "I wouldn't change a thing, Herrik. I am sorry for the way it all came about but I wouldn't change it. I know in my heart that everything had to happen this way or it wouldn't have happened at all. If I could go back and choose between you and the life I might have had, I would choose you. I would always choose you."

"How could you? How can you possibly forgive me?"

"Forgive you for what? For loving your son? For loving me? There is nothing to forgive!" I moved around him and gathered his face in my hands then kissed him.

"You mean that, don't you?" his eyes were full of hope as they met mine.

"You know I do!"

"I can never make it up to you but I promise you, for however long we have I will do my best."

"There's nothing to make up for, Herrik. I love you."

"I love you." Herrik sighed as the tension between us slipped away, "I don't want to keep anything from you. I want you to love me without all the doubts and reservations you would have had if I kept the truth from you." He paused for a short moment and shook his head, "I didn't mean to bring any of this up," he smiled weakly, "but I'm glad I told you. I'm sorry if I've made a wreck of our evening."

"No," I squeezed him tight, "only sidelined it for a bit," I said. "Let's clean up so we can make the most of what's left!" I tugged him to his feet.

## Chapter 16

When we finished tidying up the kitchen, we found ourselves at a loss for what to do. Neither one of us wanted to leave the apartment and risk having our time together interrupted by anyone we might meet. So, we ruled out the garden and common rooms. About the only thing we agreed on was that we wanted to be close. After a few minutes of indecision, we ended up making our way to Herrik's living room and stretched out on the sofa together.

We spent most of the evening talking and asking questions about each other; the books we liked, music and so forth. Herrik seemed eager to learn everything he could. I offered more than once to let him see for himself but he insisted on asking his questions and hearing my answers out loud.

It didn't take long to discover that we didn't know as much as we thought about one another. The time went fast and while the night progressed the questions came slower and slower and the answers less surprising. At one point, I found myself wondering about Daemon again.

"Is he your only family? I remember you telling me you had a brother. Did he ever marry and have children? Have you ever met any of them?"

"I'm aware of them and a handful of details, but mostly no. I've kept my distance. It's safer for all of us, them and me, if I stay detached. It's hard but I know they are there and they are well and I've learned to content myself with that."

"Hmm," I stroked his arm, "I think I understand. Sometimes I wonder about my family."

"Do you? I don't have many details but...well here." Herrik edged closer and took my hands.

"Oh! Is that Evan? He's so tall and...and handsome!" I exclaimed. Then Herrik shared a second image with me of my mother and father. They seemed well-dressed and they were both smiling. They looked like they were ready to go out on a date.

"Birthday party, actually," Herrik released my hands. "That was about a year or so ago. I'm sorry I don't have specifics. Aside from someone catching a glimpse of them here or there, there's not much I can tell you. I've always done my best to respect their privacy."

"It's alright. I'm just happy...they looked so happy," I wiped a tear or two from the corner of my eye. Thank you for letting me see," I kissed his cheek.

Herrik smiled, "You've never celebrated a birthday here, have you?"

"No," I laughed. "I'm not even sure what day it is or what month or year. No one keeps track."

"I'll keep track and the next time your birthday comes around we'll all help you celebrate."

It seemed like a very exciting prospect. I couldn't remember the last time I celebrated anything – Christmas or New Year's or Easter or the Fourth of July.

"You've missed out on quite a bit, haven't you?"

"Yes. Well, no. Not really. I mean I've been busy and too..."

"Isolated."

"Focused," I corrected. "There hasn't been much time to think about it. And besides, you've always managed to surprise me whenever I felt like I needed more than the compound has to offer. Every night I've spent with you has more than made up for what I've missed."

"I'm not so sure about that!" Herrik went into a long list of the things he thought life in the compound had deprived me of. "Oh, and dancing!" he added with a great deal of emphasis.

"Dancing?" I giggled.

Herrik's expression brightened, "Ah, dancing!" He sprung from the couch and disappeared. A moment later he returned to the sensuous voice of a beautiful tenor.

I shook my head no but he held his hand out and begged me not to disappoint him. "But I've never danced before! I can't. I don't know how," my voice filled with panic.

"This will be easy. I promise," he smiled and tugged me from my seat.

Herrik took my hands and moved us towards a more open area of the living room. He drew me close and began swaying back and forth to the rhythm of the music. He held my fingers to his chest and brushed my knuckles with a kiss then wrapped his free arm around my back.

"See," he grinned down at me, "nothing to it!"

He was right, of course. I enjoyed being so close and the comfort of knowing nothing could ever go wrong as long as we were together. I laid my head against his shoulder and let him lead me through a handful of songs. It was a perfect moment when everything felt completely right; the music, the lighting, the two of us. I let go of his hand and wrapping my arms around his neck lost myself in a kiss that I never wanted to end.

It was soft and beautiful and full of emotion. I almost started to cry it made me so happy and fulfilled. Minutes later we pulled apart and without a word Herrik twined his fingers in mine and led us to the bedroom.

We carefully undressed and admired one another while we covered each other's bare skin with feathery kisses. Every touch was silky, delicate and full of meaning. We were committing ourselves to one another, making and weaving an elaborate promise that our love was eternal, transcendent and unbreakable. Herrik stepped away from our discarded pile of clothes and reached out invitingly. Together we walked toward the bed and lay down. With great solemnity, we made love to one another. There was no urgency or unnecessary eagerness, every second a precious sensation to be relished and enjoyed.

"I want to taste you," I whispered, "I want to feel you flowing through my veins. I want you to be a part of me."

Herrik eased himself to sitting and ran his teeth across the fleshy part of his shoulder, opening an inch-long gash. I caressed the wound with my lips and tongue then he began moving again. He pulled me close and held me tight as my body came to life. All my senses awakened to a fevered pitch as his blood joined with mine and coaxed my body into a greater and stronger yearning.

"Taste me," I clutched and begged while I urged him deeper and deeper inside me.

I closed my eyes as he lowered his head and wrapped his mouth around my neck. I felt the pull on my veins, on my heart, on my soul and cried out at the glorious completion of our union.

"Oh, Emily," his breath whispered in my ear. "I love you."

"I love you, Herrik."

We flopped back onto the pillows both of us exhausted and satiated. I nuzzled him and minutes later, fell asleep laying there in the crook of his arm. Herrik must have too, it must have been far later than either of us realized. I didn't expect to spend the night at Herrik's apartment and assumed we would go back to mine before the night ended since it was safer.

We had worn each other out though and ended up sleeping peacefully through the night. Towards morning, Herrik woke with a start. His body trembled with trepidation. He looked like something terrible was about to happen but was powerless against it. The apartment was utterly quiet adding to the ominous feeling he had.

"Emily! Emily! Wake up! Wake up!" he shook me roughly.

"What? What is it?" I asked when I came to.

"We have to go! We have to go now!" he threw himself out of bed and began dressing.

"Herrik, calm down! What are you doing?"

I stood up and took his hands in mine.

"Don't you feel that? Don't you feel that?!" he screamed. "They're coming! We need to get to the elevator before it's too late!"

"Herrik, you need to calm down. Tell me what's wrong. Who's coming?"

Herrik just stood there shaking his head and looking at me in complete confusion.

"Please," he begged, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Reluctantly, I gathered up my clothes but as soon as I put one pant leg on, the bedroom door burst open and there stood Carah with an army of others. She seized me and someone else grabbed Herrik. He seemed too bewildered to make any effort to escape.

"What's going on? What's this all about?" I glanced over my shoulder at Carah.

Carah thrust me to one of the intruders and nodded to them. "Don't underestimate that one!" she scowled, making sure they had a firm hold on me.

Carah moved forward and stood in front of Herrik. She laid her hand on his shoulder and with a wicked smile told him exactly why she was there.

"No," Herrik shook his head but the word never passed his lips.

He stood there lifeless and unbelieving for a few moments then recklessly fought to break free.

"Uh, uh!" Carah forced him to look my way.

The man who held me had his teeth exposed and they were resting against delicate skin along my neck. I looked at Herrik imploringly but he realized there was nothing he could do without risking me. The numbers were too overwhelming and Herrik let go of his will to fight. Carah flung herself at him and drained him until he was so weak he could no longer hold himself up without support.

"Why?" Herrik whispered.

"Soon enough," Carah taunted.

"How?"

"Did I break your pledge?"

Someone pushed their way through the crowd, someone I had never met before or at least didn't recognize. She was unlike any other vampire I had ever seen. There was no way anyone would ever mistake her for anything other than supernatural she looked so unreal, so unearthly. Her skin, her eyes, her lips and hair all impossible shades and possessing so much beauty they couldn't conceivably have belonged to a human.

I was awestruck as I watched her approach. Her eyes were on Herrik and as she moved toward him I glanced from her to him. It stunned me to see the look of recognition that reflected in his eyes. There was something else there, too; fear, an all-encompassing, deadly fear. As soon as I saw it I realized who this strange vampire was.

"Hello, Herrik," her voice sounded as beautiful as she looked. Weakened as he was by what Carah had taken from him, he nearly fainted away when he heard it. It seemed to bring back all the horrific memories of the night she stole his humanity from him.

She turned to me, "You must be Emily." She reached her hand out and the vampire that held me released his grip on my arm then shoved me towards her. I clenched my jaw and stood my ground refusing to take part in the introduction.

Something flashed behind my eyes. A brilliant pain spread from the back of my neck in a straight line up my scalp, to my forehead, to the bridge of my nose. I fell to my knees in astonished agony and watched in amazement as a series of red drops fell and spattered on the floor at her feet. When I looked up, she raised her brows and rolled her eyes at me challengingly.

I glanced behind her to where Carah stood beside Herrik. Neither one would meet my eye. Herrik looked shamefully away and it was impossible to get any sense from him of what was and what had happened.

Helpless, I turned my gaze back to the woman in front of me and this time when she offered me her hand I took it. "Oh, God!" my mind cried out, "she can't be real!" She was cold! So cold it...it burned.

She helped me to my feet then softened her expression into a look of heartfelt concern. She ran her thumb beneath my nose swabbing up the blood, "There," she smiled, "all better." Then she callously wiped her hand on one of the bystanders.

"I'm sure Herrik has told you all about me," she watched my expression closely. I shook my head hoping it wouldn't aggravate the pain throbbing at the base of my neck. "No," she frowned and glanced back towards him, "pity," she sighed, "I guess it's up to me then."

She reached forward and placed her hands one on each side of my head with her thumbs pressed firmly into my temples. My mind went blank and my eyes snapped closed. Behind my lids swift and painful pinpoints of light flashed and each one seemed to tell me a story.

"Freya, please don't!" Herrik struggled against his captors. "You've already taken my wife and my son. Please don't take Emily, too!"

His plea surprised her and dropping her hands she whirled to face him, "I took something you never wanted and gave you a life beyond your wildest dreams!"

"That's not true! This? I never wanted any of this."

"Huh!" she laughed and cast her gaze around the room before finally returning it to Herrik. "You've been mighty ambitious for someone who never wanted any of this. When Carah asked me for my help and told me what you'd done, what you were trying to accomplish, I almost didn't believe her. Now that I've seen it for myself I realize I was right – I have made you ten times the man you ever were."

Herrik visibly cringed at the reminder.

"I'm impressed. Fascinated," she cooed as stepped forward and looked down at him. "My but you turned out well," she ran her fingertips over one of his arms.

Carah called out, "Is any of this really necessary? All I want is Herrik, Herrik before the council. That was our agreement." She looked nervous and uncomfortable with everything Freya said.

Freya's eyes glistened with anger but she quickly concealed it, collected herself and shrugged. "Ah, yes, the council," she took a deep breath and smothered her emotions. "Go ahead," she nodded to Carah and the others standing around. "Take him to the council so we can all see what lies beneath this charming exterior."

Carah called to one of the nearest vampires who immediately stepped up and helped haul Herrik away. Afterwards Carah seized me and we followed directly behind them while Freya trailed after us.

How word had spread so quickly and what exactly it was they thought was about to take place, I couldn't imagine. The council room was overflowing, though, and everyone gathered there seemed anxious to be the first to witness the outcome of such an unprecedented event. Carah forced me to a seat at the table as Freya edged by her and took the seat Herrik would normally use at the head of the table. They exchanged challenging looks but Carah wasn't about to take any action against Freya.

As I glanced around, I noticed there wasn't a single human among the bystanders. I couldn't see Herrik from where I sat and wondered what had happened to him since we were parted. Artur and Avery were nowhere to be found either. I tried to recall whether I had seen them in the crowds at any point but was sure I hadn't. I hoped they were alright, that somehow, they had been overlooked but my heart was full of dread and my mind only imagined the worst.

A path opened up through the throngs of onlookers. I shook my fear away hoping to make sense of everything taking place around me. Then I saw Herrik, head bowed, hands and feet bound shuffling between several guards as they led him towards Freya. He looked disoriented and I guessed that they had taken more blood from him in order to keep him complacent.

Without thought I started to rise from my seat. I wanted to hurry over and help and comfort him but Freya recognized my intentions. With a glance, she held me in place. It was horrific to see Herrik so degraded and weak. Once he was standing in front of Freya and the rest of the council, Carah read off a list of the charges against him. When she finished she turned to me.

"Emily...Emily is living proof of everything I have said. I implore you to share her memories and see for yourselves how Herrik's arrogance has betrayed us all into believing he has our best interests at heart. You will see that the only interests concerning him are the ones that serve him best. Herrik has used all of you and all you have built as an instrument for his own personal gain."

"That's not true!" I interrupted and frantically met the eyes of anyone who would look my way.

Many looked skeptical, others unreadable and more than both those groups combined there was nothing but anger emanating from the glares they sent towards Herrik. It was obvious Carah and her followers preempted the council as to what crimes Herrik had purportedly committed and what evidence would be submitted to demonstrate his guilt.

"Herrik, please, don't let them do this to you!" I pleaded but he wouldn't or couldn't even acknowledge I was there.

"Enough," Freya abruptly stood up and raising her arms she motioned everyone to their seats.

The room quieted and those that had chairs took them while the remaining adjusted their stances and turned their gazes towards the council table. Freya resumed her seat and reached her hand out to Carah who had taken the vacant seat next to her. Then Freya looked pointedly at me and using her will forced me to grasp her free hand.

I tried emptying my mind, tried wiping all my thoughts away. I wrapped them in the mental cloak Herrik had shown me how to use when I first came to the compound. My lips quivered and my eyes pooled with tears from the effort but Freya was too strong and I couldn't bar her from my memories. The curtain fell away and she exposed them all. Freya gathered them one by one and for a second they seemed nothing but shadows shifting in a dense fog. It was far more revolting than I might have imagined. Herrik's presence was always gentle and discreet. He never revealed anything unnecessarily and he never forced anything to the forefront of my mind the way Freya did.

I tried not to resist because I knew how painful it would be if I did. She was so repulsive that my defenses seemed to naturally try taking control away from her. My nose started bleeding again. The droplets trickled from my nostrils and ran towards my lips.

I shivered, my head felt leaden and I couldn't hold myself upright, "Not true," I sobbed. "None of this is true!" but no one seemed to hear me.

The visions grew brighter, clearer, and crisper. I was in the crawlspace urging Daemon to let me help him; insisting I wasn't afraid and determined to do whatever was necessary to save him. Once it was over my vision shifted and they all saw the exchange Carah and I had in my room. From there it appeared as though Carah was listening to some inner voice and following some hidden command. It must have been Herrik...Herrik telling her to bring me to the compound, to him.

"Oh, Herrik," my mind agonized as I remembered what would happen next. Then something distracted me. I had the feeling or sense that the people gathered there were finding fault with Carah, too. She had broken their laws, too, and was just as guilty as Herrik for executing his will. She knew everything she did was against the compounds directives but she followed his orders anyway. Carah must have noticed it too, that the visions I shared implicated her as well as Herrik. She tried resisting Freya's manipulation of my memories.

It was too late, though. The images were sweeping the crowd along as they told the story of how Carah had brought me to Herrik and he forced me to stay. My memories kept coming one after another and in every one of them it seemed like Herrik was making some meaningful mistake and furtively trying to cover it up. I screamed unknowingly. With frantic abandon, I tried wrenching control of my thoughts back from Freya hoping to show the council she was changing the context of everything they were seeing. I needed to make them understand that it was much more complicated than they imagined.

Carah tried breaking free, too, and her determination augmented mine. As soon as Freya realized she was about to lose control, she abruptly released me and the sudden backlash made my mind writhe with pain. I slumped face down on the table while the assembly erupted all around me. An angry wave radiated through the crowd and they attacked Carah and Herrik with an indescribable brutality.

I lifted my head off the table and tried shaking myself free of the pain then I heard a familiar voice in my ear. I had no idea where he came from but suddenly Avery hunched over me and absorbed the errant blows, protecting me from the chaos. My eyes darted over the crowd. I searched for Herrik in the throngs but as I scanned the faces my eyes fell Freya. She had a faint grin playing on her lips. Her expression assured me how confident she was that in a few moments the odds would overwhelm them and it would all be over.

I tried fighting myself free of Avery imagining I was about to lose Herrik forever. I wanted to run to him and throw my arms around him and suffer as Herrik suffered knowing life would not be worth living without him.

"Let me go!" I growled. "Let me go!"

I sunk my teeth into Avery's hand to get him to release me. As I did my ears started ringing and the melee instantly died down. One after the other vampires collapsed and plunged to the floor with their eyes wide open and their expressions frozen in shock. The only ones that didn't fall were Avery, Freya, Herrik and Carah. Carah was already on her back. She kicked her opponent to the side and sat up before scuttling several feet away. Avery released me and when I raised my eyes, I saw Artur slowly approaching Herrik.

"Dear God!" I whispered.

I knew he had abilities not unlike Avery's but I never realized Artur was so strong. He was so carefully guarded and his power so well hidden under his friendly, unassuming exterior it would have been impossible to discern how much strength he actually possessed. To watch him unleash such a potent inoculant and neutralize so many adversaries all at once was unimaginable.

He made his way through the prostrate bodies then reached down and helped Herrik to his feet. Afterwards he looked our way. "Come," Artur called out to me and Avery. He glanced over at Carah, "it will only last a moment more," his voice sounded calm but his eyes hinted at the urgency he felt. She fled the chamber while Avery dragged me towards the hidden elevator.

Already the vampires furthest away were moaning and coming to.

The car was right there waiting when Artur managed to wrestle Herrik to the far wall. He located the hidden panel then stood aside. Avery forced me in then Artur tried squeezing himself and Herrik into the elevator but it was too small for the four of us.

"Take Herrik!" Artur commanded.

Before Avery could act, Herrik looked up at Artur, his eyes full of love and regret. He reached out and pressed the strange symbol, thrust Artur into the elevator and the door slid closed.

"No!" I cried out and fought desperately to free myself. "Herrik!" his name died on my lips as Artur laid his hand across my forehead and forced me from consciousness.

"I'm sorry," I heard Artur's voice in my head. "It's too late...it's over. I will not let you sacrifice yourself for a cause that is already lost."

## Chapter 17

My face felt cold and wet. There were strange noises all around me and my eyes kept going in and out of focus. It was raining and someone was shaking me to wakefulness.

"Miss? Miss? Are you alright?"

For a moment, I thought I was dreaming. I slowly turned my head hoping to find the person that the voice belonged to.

"Are you hurt? Can you sit up?"

Other than the terrible ache throbbing behind my eyes there didn't seem to be anything wrong with me. I tried nodding but only managed a feeble yes.

"Here let me help you," a man knelt down beside me and helped me to sitting. "Is there someone I can call? Do you have a friend nearby or family you can reach out to?"

"Who are you?" I asked utterly confused.

"I'm Nathan," he half-smiled then asked, "what's your name?" his voice was friendly but his tone seemed condescending, like he was talking to a child.

"It's...it's..." I realized I didn't know...I couldn't remember. I couldn't remember anything! The man waited patiently while I struggled to answer. I shivered both from the cold and my confusion.

Nathan stood up and offered me a hand, "Well, maybe we should get you inside somewhere and warmed up. Hopefully, things will become clearer once we do," he gave me that odd, half-smile again and I wondered if he thought I was a simpleton or perhaps a vagrant.

I accepted his help and once I was on my feet, took in my surroundings. "Where are we?"

"In the park, just outside the city," he answered as he led me away. "My car is over here. If you let me I'll take you to the hospital or the police. You seem like you could use their help."

I frowned wondering what he might have meant by the statement. As we walked away, I did a quick assessment of myself to see if I had any injuries, "I'm not hurt," I said with confidence.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine. I just...I feel...lost..."

Nathan held the car door for me while I took the passenger's seat. He brought me to a nearby hospital but didn't speak to me during the entire ride. Every once in a while, he would glance over and sighed. If I looked his way his mouth would twitch into that uncomfortable grin. There weren't any other exchanges between us as he drove.

After explaining to the nurses that neither of us had any idea who I was and that he wasn't sure what else to do, he left me there. I was terribly dismayed as I watched him walk away. A moment later a nurse came over and slipped a band around my wrist then had me take a seat in the waiting room.

"Jane Doe," I whispered as I spun the tag around and around. Tears sprung to my eyes and I covered my mouth while I choked back the fear that took a sudden stranglehold on my heart.

Everything seemed so wrong, so foreign - the people, the noises, the lighting - even the air had a sour taste to it. It overwhelmed me while I sat there all alone taking it all in. The nurses glanced up from time to time and would either try to look or say something encouraging. My mind wandered away several times only to be startled back by a voice over the intercom paging some doctor, patient or other.

Eventually someone approached me with a wheelchair and a clipboard. He picked the board up then patted the chair for me to sit down, "Jane Doe, right?"

"No, it's...it's..."

"It's okay," he chuckled, "we'll get you all sorted out in no time!"

I wasn't so sure. I stood up and fretfully met the eyes of the nurses who had been watching me from their station. One of them nodded for me to go ahead and the other lent voice to the suggestion. "G'won, darling. We'll be right here when you're done."

I took the seat and let the man wheel me away. He brought me to another small waiting area and while we were there he measured my height and weight. Afterwards he had me look at an eye chart to get an idea of how good my vision was. I absently did whatever he asked and watched as he scribbled notes onto the paper attached to the clipboard.

When we finished, he brought me to a tiny exam room where he took my pulse, blood pressure, then listened to my heart and lungs. Once he scribbled the last of his notes he told me the doctor would be right with me.

"Make yourself comfortable, it shouldn't be long." I watched as he let himself out.

The minutes ticked by and while they did, I replayed all the memories I had up until then. It was so frustrating and so disheartening. All I remembered was waking up in the park with the strange man beside me, the trip to the hospital and everything that had happened since. I was on the brink of tears again when there was a subtle knock on the door.

The doctor cautiously opened it and smiling came in and introduced herself.

"Hi there! I'm Dr. Johnson," she held her hand out.

"It's nice to meet you," I mumbled unsure of what else to say.

"So," she put her reading glasses on and glanced at the papers she carried, "Jane Doe, huh? Can you tell me what happened?"

As she said this, she took my arm and pushed my sleeve up above my elbow. She turned it over, carefully inspecting it then repeated the process on my other arm.

"Have you been taking anything?"

At first, I didn't understand what she was asking. After a moment, though, I realized why she was inspecting my arms and said with the utmost confidence, "No, I've never taken anything - not even an aspirin."

Dr. Johnson cocked her head at me, "You sound very sure of that."

"I...I am," I nodded as I considered whether I was really telling the truth.

"Hmm, interesting. Have you been drinking?"

I shook my head no.

"Any injuries?"

Again no.

"Were you with anyone when this happened?"

"I...I..." I pictured the man who had brought me to the hospital but that somehow didn't seem right, "no, I'm sure I was alone."

"How old are you, Jane? May I call you Jane, at least until we find out differently?"

I shrugged, it really didn't seem to matter what she called me. "I can't remember."

"Early 20's I would say. Do you go to school?"

Her questions kept coming and I did my best to answer them while she gave me another thorough inspection.

"I think we may need to do a few tests, Jane. Amnesia can be caused by any number of serious..."

"Amnesia?"

"Yes. It can be the symptom of a stroke, infection, degenerative disorders or any type of trauma. I'm going to order a CAT scan for you and we'll need to do some blood work, too."

"Blood?"

"Yes. We'll need to test your blood for infection and we should do a cheek swab for a DNA sample. We can give your results to the police so they can run it through their database and with luck we might find out who you are!"

Dr. Johnson's face was bright with optimism but I felt overwhelmed. The prospect of being poked and prodded in order to discover some hidden ailment when I felt perfectly fine was not a pleasant one. She must have seen my sentiments and the nervous looks crossing my face. Hoping to ease my mind she explained each of the tests she wanted to run and how they would be performed and what I should expect during the procedures.

I couldn't think of any reasons to object to any of them and signed a series of papers approving them all. Afterwards I spent the day being wheeled throughout the hospital and feeling very much like an elaborate science experiment as the doctors and nurses performed the various tests. Near the end of the last procedure Dr. Johnson came and stated that though there was nothing quite apparent wrong she wanted to keep me overnight for observation.

Again, not knowing any reason why I shouldn't, I agreed to her recommendation. They put me in a private room several floors above the entrance to the hospital.

Night fell and a new nurse brought a tray from the cafeteria and gave me the remote so I could watch TV while I ate. Though the food was tasteless and rubbery, I was so hungry I mindlessly ate everything they provided. When the nurse came to check on me she seemed pleased and asked me if I wanted anything else.

"Would it be possible to take a shower?" I asked full of hope.

"There's nothing in your chart that suggests you shouldn't. I'll bring you some towels and something to wear when you're done."

By the time I finished, I was more than exhausted and crept to the bed, adjusted the pillows then fell fast asleep. It was late morning by the time I woke again and I may have slept much longer but I heard a strange commotion right outside my door.

I put my hands behind my back and pushed myself to sitting. As I swung my legs over the side of the bed so I could find out what was happening someone burst into my room.

"Emily!"

I met the stranger's eyes.

"Oh, God!" she gasped. "It is you!" and a steady stream of tears burst from her eyes as she hurried towards me. She threw her arms around me while I sat there astonished and silent on the edge of the bed.

Behind the woman two men came in, just as awestruck and unbelieving as the woman that held me. One looked much older than the other and I guessed him to be the father of the younger man. They were both smiling and fighting back what appeared to be tears of joy.

"I can't believe it's you!" the woman cried. She pulled back full of hope and looked into my eyes. Her face fell when she realized I didn't recognize her. "It's me, Emily! I'm your mother."

A twinge of recognition rippled through me as she grasped my shoulders and studied me for a moment. She stepped back and the man came up to me and took my hand in both of his. He smiled and gave me an emotional squeeze then kissed my knuckles.

"This is the happiest day of my life," he sobbed.

Next it was the young man's turn to approach me. Nervously, he looked down at me, "I've missed you so much, Emily!" and much like the woman he threw his arms around me and held me close. "Thank God," he mumbled into my hair. "Thank God, you're alive!"

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't find any words to express what I was feeling. They were all strangers. I didn't know any of them and stared back in confusion as they bit their lips and cried their tears and told me how thankful they were. It was very disconcerting. They were all so sure who I was and so happy and I felt exactly the opposite.

Soon they started asking questions that I couldn't possibly answer and telling me things I had no knowledge of whatsoever. My heart raced and my head pounded again. One of the little alarms on my monitors started beeping and to their earnest protests the nurse came running in and shooed them all away.

I recovered myself as soon as the strangers who called themselves my family left the room. The nurse went ahead and checked all my vitals, anyway. As she finished up a new doctor came in. He did a cursory check of my pulse and shined his penlight in my eyes along with a few other token inspections.

"I guess we had better limit your visitors for the time being. It's probably just too much stress for you under the circumstances. I'll talk to the nurses."

"Thank you," I mumbled as I slumped back down onto the pillows. "My family," I said to myself. "I have a family," but for some reason I couldn't believe they were it.

My mother returned first. She came in alone and sat on the edge of the bed clutching my hand and smiling.

"Oh, Emily! It is truly a miracle to see you! I have never given up hope and here you are...seven years and here you are! I wish you would say something. Anything! Anything at all."

"I'm sorry," I said shaking my head, "I just don't know what to say. I...I don't remember you. Any of you."

Fresh tears sprung to her eyes, "It's fine, honey. It will come back. It will all come back. We'll help you however we can. We'll get the best doctors and find the..."

I sighed and looked away.

"I understand. It's hard to talk about so soon. We won't force you until you're ready but the police are here and they have a lot of questions. I'm afraid you'll have to speak with them."

I turned back to face her. "Why? I won't be able to tell them anything. They probably know more than I do!" I buried my face in my hands.

"Well, we'll put them off as long as we can. Daddy would like to see you. Would you mind if he came in for a few minutes?"

"Daddy?!" I said to myself, "Is that how she expects me to think of him. What am I 12?" I reluctantly agreed.

My mother stepped away and after a few minutes she returned with my father. He seemed ill-at-ease and for the most part just stood nearby and watched while my mother bombarded me with a whirlwind of conversation. Her thoughts and ideas came one after the other and there was no cohesiveness to anything she said.

It was wrenchingly painful. She spoke as though she knew me intimately and I had no idea who she was. No matter what she called herself, this person was nobody to me and it was unbearable listening to her. Not only that but it was heartbreaking to watch the intense emotions playing on the features of the man she kept calling my father. I was so overcome I couldn't bring myself to take any part in the conversation.

About an hour later the police finished talking with the doctors and staff and knocked on the door. A wave of relief washed over me. I decided that speaking with the police would be infinitely more enjoyable than sitting with these strange people who called themselves my parents.

"I'll send them away," my mother assured me and rose to ask them to come back later.

"No!" I stopped her in her tracks. "I...I think I would like to get it over with."

"Oh. Okay, sweetheart. If you're sure you're ready."

I nodded.

My dad slipped up to the bed as she walked away, "Just give her some time. It's been quite a shock for her, for us all. Once she's had a chance, she'll settle down."

I smiled, "Yes. Of course."

"I'll go see how Evan's doing," he patted my hand and kissed my forehead and I sensed the first hints of a familial connection with them all.

My father brushed my mother's cheek with a kiss as she returned with one of the policeman and told her where he would be. After a final encouraging smile my dad left the room. My mother introduced the police officer and though she tried persuading him otherwise, he insisted she needed to leave the room.

As I expected I wasn't able to answer any of his questions. When he finally concluded the interview, he handed me a card. "If you think of anything, any time day or night, please call me."

"I will," I said. "Thank you."

"Would you like me to send for your family?"

"Actually," I feigned a tremendous yawn, "I'd like to get a little rest."

He nodded and walked away. Once I was alone again, I took a few minutes to think about and consider my circumstances. So far, every test the hospital had run had come up empty. They had no explanation for my memory loss and as far as they could tell I was the picture of health. Dr. Johnson seemed confident I could be released at any time.

"But where will I go? Home? With...with them?" There didn't seem to be any other alternative. I had no recollection of where I had lived for the past, "7 years," my mother said. There was nowhere else for me to go and as far as I knew I had no viable resources to use in order to obtain an alternative. I closed my eyes and tried imagining a life with the three of them, my mother, my father, Evan.

I sat there quietly contemplating my decision then rang for the nurse. Later that evening my parents checked me out of the hospital. My dad drove us home while I sat in the back seat with Evan and watched the world zip by. I tried hard to recognize the landmarks my family pointed out as we went along but there wasn't even an inkling of familiarity about them.

When we got home, my dad opened my door for me and I slowly stepped out of the car. I spun around and around as they all looked expectantly at me. I just shook my head no. My dad wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me towards the house. He let us all in and together we went from room to room as they attempted to reacquaint me with the life I had supposedly lived there.

It was exasperating and when they finished showing me around, I told them all I thought I might like to go to my room and lie down for a while. Evan offered to bring me upstairs and I happily agreed.

Over the next few months they told me story after story and showed me picture after picture but nothing ever came of it. I grew resolved to the fact that I would never get my memory back. I couldn't recall anything from my youth and how I had spent the past 7 years of my life was an absolute mystery. I had no idea what happened to me or where I was or who I was with.

Evan had been home from college when the call came with the news that someone found me. He was getting ready to head back, though, before his entire first semester went to waste. As the day drew near I considered whether I should think about college or a job of some sort. I needed to do something otherwise I convinced myself I would go crazy from all the care and concern my mother was smothering me with. She wouldn't give up and made dozens of appointments to various specialists. No matter how much I protested, she dragged me to every one of them.

At first, I wasn't sure where to begin, college or work. As far as I knew I never finished high school and hadn't taken the SAT's. I wondered if I would be able to pass a college entrance exam and what exactly I would like to study if I could. I decided to test myself online hoping to get a better idea of what I knew and what I might be suited to. Surprisingly, I seemed to have a solid understanding of quite a few things.

"Huh," I thought, "where did I learn all this?"

It made me curious about what else I might know. I tried languages and found that I read, wrote and spoke French fluently and seemed to be familiar with 3 or 4 other languages. On a whim, I asked my mother if she would take me to the local music store.

We wandered around for a few minutes and I caressed several instruments. Nothing felt right to me until I ran my fingers across one of the electronic keyboards that was on display. There was a stool placed in front of it for anyone who wanted to sit and test the sounds. I sat down and knew right away where to poise my fingers and begin. Smiling, I struck the keys and marveled how naturally it came to me.

I seemed to have a decent amount of skill and played for several minutes while my mother watched in disbelief. When she laid her hand on my shoulder I pushed the stool back and stood up. "I have no idea how I know how to play but I guess I wasn't idle for the past 7 years!" I almost laughed but choked it back.

It was obvious my mom found no humor in what I had said. I started to apologize but someone walked into the store and when I saw him my heart skipped a beat. He smiled and brushed by us. When he did, I had an odd sense I had seen him somewhere before, just recently. I tried not to worry about it and shook the feeling away. I took my mom's elbow and suggested we leave.

That night over dinner I told my dad what I had learned about myself. He didn't act as surprised as I imagined he would and said something I hadn't stopped to consider.

"Someone must have thought a great of you to have gone through so much trouble." My mother and Evan stopped eating and looked from me to my father. "What?" he asked. "Look at her! She's beautiful and obviously well cared for. I'd like to thank whoever she's been with..." he sounded as if he was joking but it still didn't go over well.

My mom threw her napkin down and stood up, "Whoever she has been with has taken 7 years of her life from her, from us! Nothing more!"

"Mom," I called after her but she was already halfway up the stairs and didn't answer.

I didn't see her again until the following morning. I made breakfast for us and while we were eating together, I started to confess my idea about going to school or finding work.

"No! Absolutely not!" she countered and before I could argue my point she stormed off again.

My dad came into the room as she raced up the stairs and asked me what all the fuss was about.

"I told her I was thinking about college or maybe getting a job. I don't understand! What am I supposed to do?!" I looked at him imploringly.

He took a deep breath before settling into the seat my mother had just vacated. "Did you make this?" he changed the subject momentarily.

I shook my head and answered, "Yes."

He picked away at it, "Mmm, this is really good," he said. "What did you put in the eggs?"

"Salsa," I smiled across at him.

He sipped her coffee and cleared her plate, "I'm sorry you're restless," he began.

"She won't let me out of her sight!" I rolled my eyes.

"Well, try imagining things from her perspective. She believed you were dead, Emily; that she would never see you again."

I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't find any of the right words to say.

"And now you're here and suddenly she has her daughter again! You can't imagine what that means to her, to all of us. We've missed you Emily. You may not remember us but we remember you! We love you and we've missed you. Under the circumstances your perspective is much harder to understand than ours. You can't see how much you've changed but we do. All we want is a chance to get to know you again. How can we do that if you push yourself away, if you take yourself away?"

"I'm not ready; I can't just open up like that and love you all again! Why is it so hard for you to accept? I don't remember any of you!"

Despite my outburst my father remained calm, "It's going to take time, I understand, sweetie, and we might never get there after all you've been through..."

"How do you know what I've been through?!" I felt angry tears spring into my eyes.

"I'm only guessing. Please don't be upset," he looked disappointed with the turn the conversation had taken. "I'll talk to your mother. We'll make a few adjustments but in the meantime..."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. My heart filled with regret after hearing the tone in his voice. "I'll try. I promise, I'll try."

My dad smiled weakly and hoisted himself from the chair, "Do you happen to know how to make pancakes?"

It was the last thing I expected him to say, "Yes," I grinned back, "I do!"

## Chapter 18

A few days later I found myself in the driveway saying goodbye to Evan. I was really going to miss him. Of the three, he had been the least intrusive and the most willing to accept that it wasn't likely I would ever remember him other than from the present on.

He also seemed to understand that he needed to be patient and let us take our time getting to know one another. Evan told me dozens of stories about himself, his friends, and the things he loved and enjoyed. Unlike my parents, he was easy to talk to and had a way of making me comfortable whenever we were all together. Not only would I miss him for that but my mother insisted someone go with me wherever I went. Losing him for a companion would mean my choices would be limited to either her or my father.

Soon after Evan went back to school my dad's leave ended and he needed to go back to work. My mother had been working, too, but after using up all her leave and vacation time rather than going back, she quit. I didn't mind at first but it quickly grew rather frustrating. I hated asking her to take me places but there was so little to do at home. She didn't seem to understand that I needed time alone too, which was virtually impossible once she didn't have my father and Evan to distract her.

Though I wasn't certain, I felt like I had always been a busy, active person. Now that I didn't have any means of occupation I became restless and irritable.

I considered joining a gym or taking a spinning class or going running. Unfortunately, my mom was not very receptive to any of those ideas. She wasn't out of shape but she was far from an athlete and found excuses for us not to take up any of my proposed activities. I took out my frustration at her refusals by avoiding her which led to spending almost all my time bottled up in my room.

My dad would ease some of the tension that ensued when he came home but the temporary truce would end as soon as he left again in the morning. I'm sure my parents talked about it but I kept to myself. Instead of trying to come up with a compromise I started looking at apartment and job listings. It seemed like the only alternative.

Several days and a handful of slammed doors later I decided to tell my mother what I had decided. I made lunch for each of us and as we sat down my father came home. He rang the bell rather than letting himself in and since we weren't expecting anyone we both went to answer it.

"Surprise!" he beamed when my mom opened the door.

I figured the surprise was him, that he had simply come home for the day. My mother seemed too shocked to speak and wondering why, I stepped around her.

I sucked in my breath, "Oh, my!" I exclaimed. Sitting at his side was the largest dog I had ever seen. "What's this?" my eyes lit up and I tentatively moved closer and held my hand out.

"This is Ares. Ares, this is Emily."

"And what are you doing with him?"

"Well, he's a rescue dog and I hoped we, well, you...you might like to adopt him."

I looked up at my dad in disbelief as I scratched Ares' head and he leaned into me.

My father looked earnestly at both of us waiting for some kind of response. Neither my mother nor I quite knew what to say. I could tell she was completely against the idea but it just overwhelmed me.

"A dog..." I whispered and my mind went racing through the possibilities. I pictured myself strolling through the neighborhood and jogging on the greenways, staying home alone while my mom went grocery shopping. I understood why my dad had decided to get a dog, get me a dog and why such a monstrous one. Without pausing my petting, I eagerly agreed to the suggestion, "I would love to adopt him!"

"Well, that's a relief because I already signed all the papers and made a hefty donation to the shelter!"

"You what?!" my mother finally found her voice.

"It's too late to turn back now," my dad chuckled awkwardly.

"Why didn't you tell me about this? We should have talked about this first and made the decision together."

"Look..." my father tried to explain.

"I am looking and what I'm seeing is just too much!"

"Ugh!" my dad buried his face in his hands. "Emily, why don't you take Ares for a walk?"

He handed me the leash and without hesitation we were off. I stole a glance over my shoulder as we wandered away and saw my father leading my mom back into the house. I felt guilty about the situation. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that my dad must have known how close they were to losing me again. He had probably come up with the idea of getting a dog hoping it would keep me with them a while longer.

Ares must have been like a dream come true to him. Any average dog and I might have still gone through with my plans to move out. A, "wolfhound? Is that what you are?" I asked out loud and Ares happily wagged his tail as if to say yes. I doubted very much any landlord in their right mind would allow a tenant to keep such a large pet. And even if they would my heart assured me Ares was much too big for an apartment. There was no way I would ever be cruel enough to confine him to one.

We walked for about an hour before making our way back home. When we got there, things seemed dramatically different than when we left. I noticed my mom had been crying but she hid it well and made a very pointed effort of trying to make Ares feel welcome. He seemed like a very nice dog and readily accepted my mother's attempt to befriend him.

From there Ares seemed to naturally fit himself into our lives and before long it felt like he had always been with us and a part of our family. It was hard to imagine anyone wanting to give him up, he was so happy and affectionate and eager to please.

I couldn't wait to show him to Evan when he finished up his second semester and came home. We talked on the phone from time to time, so he was well aware of our new domestic arrangement but still quite shocked once they met.

"Ares, huh? The God of War." Then he laughed, "Hey, flip that around and he would be the Dog of War, get it?"

"Yeah," I said with a touch of sarcasm, "yeah, I get it. Is that the best you can come up with?" I teased.

"Hey, I've been forced to think for 2 semesters now. Cut me some slack, would ya?!"

"If I must! It's good to have you home, thinking or not."

I gave him a heartfelt hug and helped him bring his things up to his room. By then we were functioning much more like a family unit. It wasn't as hard as it had been at first to imagine the three of them as my closest relations. We laughed and smiled throughout dinner, watched TV and talked about all the little things that had happened since the last time we were all together.

Ares felt neglected by the end of the evening. I told him more than once to lay down but he repeatedly got up and interrupted whatever I was doing and prodded me with his nose. When he finally exhausted my patience and I got sharp with him Evan came to his defense.

"Here big fella' what's wrong?" he asked as he took Ares face in his hands and studied his eyes. "Do you need some love, is that it?"

Ares gave him a tremendous kiss and spread himself out near Evan's feet. Evan kicked off his shoes and rubbed Ares' belly with his toes. That was the last he bothered us until Evan and I were both stretching and yawning and eager for bed.

Evan offered to take him out for me so I could head up and get ready for bed and I gladly agreed. They hadn't come back by the time I finished, so I left my bedroom door open in case Ares wanted to come in and sleep with me. As I drifted off, I heard Evan creeping into my room.

"Em? Em, are you up?"

"Yeah. I'm awake. What is it?"

"I'm not sure. Ares and I were walking and I saw this strange..." he seemed to pause, "man."

"Oh, my!" I laughed. "That is strange!"

"No, seriously, Emily. I think he was...it seemed like he was pacing...back and forth...in front of our house. Look and see if he's still there...No, don't turn the light on! Just peek."

I grumbled and moaned but threw the covers off and went to the window. I eased the blinds back and looked as far in one direction as possible then went to the other side of the window and did the same.

"There's nothing out there," I shook my head and crept back to my bed.

"Are you sure?"

"Damn it, Evan! That's not funny!" I thought he was teasing me and it made me very angry.

"What? No! Em! I would never do that. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to freak you out."

Ares didn't like the way we were speaking to one another and anxiously hopped up on the bed then licked my face. He was relentless until I laughed then he triumphantly flopped down and laid his chin on his paws.

Evan scratched his back, "I'm sure it was nothing. I just...I worry about you and it's hard not to imagine the worst. It was probably someone getting an earful on their cellphone," he chuckled. "Or maybe he was sneaking a cigarette or something."

I ruffled the loose fur on top of Ares' head, "Yeah, I'm sure that was it. Nothing to worry about."

"Well, I've gotta get to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night."

"Night."

Though I had a little trouble falling asleep by the time morning came both Evan and I had forgotten the incident. I made him breakfast to welcome him home and later we took Ares for a nice run together. We spent more time catching up and it was so nice to have someone closer to my own age to talk and laugh with. The day seemed to fly by. We did pause in our newfound camaraderie an hour or so after lunch so he could take a nap but other than that we were together nearly the entire day.

It amazed me how much he ate and slept. When we weren't talking or playing games or exercising, he seemed to be doing either one or the other. Thankfully it wore off after about a week and a half and he soon became restless and determined to find things for us to do. He started by asking me what I liked to do. I wasn't entirely sure and I didn't have enough knowledge of the area and what it had to offer to make any suggestions. Besides my only companions were my mother or father. I hadn't had many opportunities to explore or rediscover what I liked to do.

"Wow!" Evan exclaimed. "You sure are boring!"

"What? No, I'm not!"

"Alright. Maybe you're not boring but you're not very adventurous now, are you?"

"I...I..." I didn't have a witty comeback and hung my head. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I just don't know what there is to do...what I would like to do."

Evan took a deep breath and realized how harsh he was being considering my circumstances. "Don't be sorry, Em. That was kind of thoughtless of me, wasn't it?"

We were both quiet for a few seconds.

"Hey, maybe we should look at this differently. I know! Let's make a bucket list for the summer. We'll pick out a bunch of things you would like to try and we'll do them together and maybe get Mum and Dad to join us, too!"

He was so bright and enthusiastic! How could I say no? "OK!" I beamed. "When do you want to start?"

"How about right now?"

I smiled my agreement. Evan hoisted himself from the couch and ran off to fetch his laptop. As soon as he got back, we started planning our activities.

It took a day or two before the list took some shape. At first, I didn't know where to begin and though Evan offered several suggestions, all I willingly committed to was making a dutiful note of them. My mother and father learned what we were up to and submitted their ideas whenever they had one. I'm not sure why but despite my initial enthusiasm I was reluctant to agree to any of them once Evan decided it was time execute some of our plans.

"C'mon, Em! You have to pick something. There's got to be at least one thing on this list that sounds a little fun!" Evan insisted.

"Well," I looked it over and sighed, "which do you like the most?"

"This isn't about me, it's about you."

I shrugged, "Yeah, but I don't know. I really don't know."

"Fine, I'll pick!" Evan said full of frustration, "Let's go skydiving," he said quite matter-of-factly.

"What? No! Absolutely not!"

"I'll take that as a yes. Besides it's on the list," he challenged.

"Yeah, I put it down but only as a suggestion. I never meant to actually do it!"

"Why not?"

"Why not?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why not?! I...I..." I thought I had him, thought I knew what Evan was trying to do. He wouldn't be willing to go skydiving any more than I would. He knew I would say no and was using it as a means to get me to choose and insist on something else. "Alright. Skydiving it is," I said confident he would renege on the plan.

Much to my surprise and much to my dismay, he pulled his cell phone out and made the reservation.

"There! That's that," he said. "What next?"

It discomfited me far too much to speak.

He scrolled through the list, "Ah, yes, rock climbing. There's an indoor facility not far from here. Let's see if they're open." He tapped the number into his phone and after a brief conversation ended the call. "Let's go!" Evan said and tugged me to my feet. "I'm not taking no for an answer! You are not going to waste a perfectly good summer sitting around the house feeling sorry for yourself!"

"I don't feel sorry for myself!"

"Oh, then what do you call it?"

"It's...I..."

"Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Get changed. Wear something comfortable - your running clothes should do. I'll let Mum and Dad know and I'll wait for you in the car."

"But..." I stuttered. He gave me a hard look. I sighed in acceptance and defeat before trudging up the stairs.

Several minutes later we were in the car and on our way. Evan wouldn't look at me or talk to me. I tried breaching the gap with whatever nonsense came to mind but he wouldn't take part in the conversation with anything more than one or two words.

Once we got there, we had to fill out a bunch of paperwork. We signed a waiver stating that we accepted the assumption of risk and a release and promise not to sue. They asked for our ID's since they required proof of age and that neither of us were minors. I confessed I didn't have one and before I opened my mouth to explain why Evan stopped me.

"She lost it and hasn't gotten a replacement yet. C'mon buddy, she's my sister, surely you can tell that she's a few years older than I am."

I tried not to be offended while the staff member eyed me up and down for a moment. When he finished scrutinizing me, he reluctantly agreed to provide us with the day passes Evan signed us up for. We listened to a series of brief instructions. I paid close attention to everything they said but Evan seemed to be more than bored by the various speeches. Once those were out of the way they fitted us with harnesses so we'd be able to use the auto belays while we climbed.

"Finally!" Evan huffed after being ushered into the climbing area and told to have at it.

There were numerous walls, one after the other, each covered with hand and foot holds and seeming to reach dozens and dozens of feet from floor to ceiling.

"Here," he stood me in front of one of the walls. "The holds are color coded, see, and the routes are marked with tape. We'll stick with the easy ones for now and see how well you do. When you're comfortable and want to try something harder we'll move on."

"You've done this before?" I said more to myself than to him.

"Yeah, a few times. It's a good workout and a lot more fun than chasing after Ares while he's galloping down the greenways! Here, I'll hook you up."

It was intimidating at first. Once I reached the top of the first climb and slid down the rope like some ungainly action hero, though, I was hooked. I begged to do it again. Evan laughed at my sudden zeal. He gave me far more opportunities to exert myself than he took but I knew he had been more than the few times he had confessed.

After a couple of hours, he reminded me that it wasn't just fun but exercise, too. He assured me that if I didn't take a break, my body would resent me for many days to come. I knew he was right and that I had used muscles I probably hadn't used in years. We turned in our gear and when we got to the car Evan looked at me funny.

"So," he seemed to have a sudden realization. "No license, huh? I guess you don't know how to drive, then do you?"

I shook my head. "No. I don't think I ever learned."

"Would you like to?" his face lit up.

"Just like that?"

"Sure. Why not?" he dangled the keys.

I shrugged, "OK. How hard can it be?"

Evan helped me into the driver's seat and showed me how to adjust it along with the steering wheel and mirrors. After I finished making all the appropriate changes, he climbed into the passenger's seat and made a great show of buckling himself in.

"Gee, thanks! As if that wasn't very suggestive."

"Safety first!" he said somewhat mockingly. "Your brake pedal is on the left, gas is on the right."

I put my left foot on the brake and my right on the gas.

"No, no, no..." Evan shook his head. "Right foot for both." It seemed odd at first but Evan assured me I would get used to it. "Good, now hold your foot down on the brake and start the car."

Step by step he guided me through the process and after a few minutes I backed out of the parking space. A moment later I made it to the exit and onto the main road. I was terribly nervous and drove at a snail's pace for as long as Evan could stand it.

"How about speeding it up a bit?"

I laughed out loud then glanced in the mirror and noticed the line of cars that seemed to be piling up behind us. "Oh, um, maybe we should finish our lesson another time."

Evan shrugged, "Whatever. They'll get over it." Much to my relief, though, he casually added, "But I guess we should get home before Mom gets worried. We can try again when there's not so much traffic."

"Right." I smiled as I eased the car to the side of the road and stopped.

I got out and walked around the back of the car while Evan scooted over from the passenger's seat to the driver's. As I opened the door to get in a racy car with darkened windows drove by and it gave me a terrible sense of déjà vu. I stood there in confusion for a long moment until Evan, full of curiosity, rolled the window down and asked me if I was coming.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," I laughed, "I forgot what I was doing for a moment there!"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Get in," he groaned.

Now that we accomplished our first activity and it had been such a success it was easy to choose our next and our next. My parents joined us on a few of our tamer outings and Evan and I did the more demanding, adventurous ones on our own. Evan continued teaching me how to drive, usually when we happened to be on one of the more lightly travelled roads. By the end of the summer I grew fairly comfortable behind the wheel.

Throughout all this I had managed to forget about our skydiving reservation and more or less still believed Evan had no intention of going through with it. I was sure he had used it as a motivational tactic. Now that we were well on our way to making it a memorable summer I thought the plan had fallen to the wayside. Early one morning, though, he came into my room and after encouraging Ares to wake me reminded me of our appointment.

"Guess what time it is?!" he smiled down at me as Ares nudged his nose under my chin.

"Ugh! Sleep! I need more sleep," I mumbled. "Go away," and I halfheartedly swung my pillow at the two of them.

"Uh, uh! We have a long drive ahead of us. You need to get up, have some breakfast and we need to get going!"

I stretched and yawned, "Where? We don't have any plans today," I flopped back down and clenched my eyes closed.

"Ah, but we do!" he wiggled his phone in front of my nose. "See," the screen flashed with a reminder from his calendar of our appointment. "Up you go," he grabbed my arm and pulled me to sitting.

"I thought you cancelled that! You don't really think I have any intention of going through with it, do you?!"

"Indeed, I do! C'mon, c'mon," he got up and started towards the door. "You know you want to. Deep down inside. How many people can say they've jumped out of a plane? It will be fun! I promise!"

Though I was still very much against the idea, I was wide awake by then and dutifully got ready and met Evan downstairs. He was in the kitchen making us breakfast and after I took Ares out for our morning walk we sat down together and discussed our day. Evan acted so buoyant and enthusiastic about our prospects that despite my reservations I couldn't bring myself to disappoint him. Besides, he had been patient and indulgent all summer long letting me choose our activities whether they were enticing to him or not.

I went through the motions and tried sounding as upbeat and anticipatory as he was. When we finished eating and tidying up Evan got us on our way. It took almost 2 hours to drive to the airfield and facilities where we would meet our instructors and tandem partners. The day was bright and sunny, summery but not unbearably hot or humid.

"You two picked the perfect day to join us!" they welcomed me and Evan.

Very much like the rock climbing, we had to fill out an exceptional amount of paperwork before we received our jumpsuits and met our instructors. Evan opted to have both our experiences recorded so someone filmed us wherever we went. Since we were both doing tandem dives, the class was relatively short considering what we were about to do.

The wait was absolutely horrifying and I spent the time trying to come up with a way to back out of the endeavor. Then a group of people who had just gotten back from their first dives came in through the hangar where our equipment was being double-checked for safety. They were all beaming and talking animatedly about their experiences and glowing with excitement and the rush of adrenaline.

Evan nudged me, "See! That's what you'll be like when you're done. You'll be alive! Every single cell in your body will be crying out with relief and the joy of knowing you're alive!"

"I know I'm alive right now!" I countered but he was right. Deep down inside I wanted to do it. Wanted to know and feel what it was like to put my life on the line and survive, if that was the right word.

A moment later the instructors led us out to the tarmac where we boarded the plane. I found myself sitting on the lap of my tandem partner across from Evan smiling nervously at him and the other first-time divers seated around us. Since Evan and I were getting our dives recorded, we were two of the last people to jump. His videographer went first then after a quick glance my way and a huge smile of delight Evan and his partner disappeared out the open doorway.

"I can't do it!" my mind cried out and I tried looking over my shoulder to tell my instructor I couldn't go through with it. My heart and head were pounding so hard, though, I couldn't think clearly enough to get the words out.

He stood me up and holding onto an overhead support he edged us towards the doorway behind my videographer. She leapt out, we took her place, my partner began to count then suddenly we were falling, falling so fast I couldn't breathe. He tapped me on my shoulder and like a magic touch it awakened me to everything I had just learned. The realization of where I was and what I was doing, washed over me and I remembered how to handle it.

He arranged my arms and we did a few spins and turns as we plummeted to the Earth. It felt like my insides were churning in a washer but in a happy, thrilling, carefree kind of way. I made sure to savor as much of the freefall as possible.

"Do you want to try a flip?"

I nodded overwhelmed by the suggestion.

The world suddenly tilted into a kaleidoscope of angles and then just as suddenly we were upright again.

It was time to pull the cord by then and he asked me if I wanted to do it. I eagerly agreed. We lurched upwards almost as quickly as we had been plunging down. Then without warning it all seemed to stop - the wind rushing in my ears, the sensation of falling without end. The chute seemed to suspend us thousands of feet above the ground and I could see for miles and miles in every direction.

The canopy ride down seemed tame compared to the actual freefall but to me it was the most enjoyable part of the experience. After the breathtaking fear of plummeting at over a hundred miles per hour, the quietude and serenity of the descent with the parachute was utterly dreamlike. The beauty of the world below us was fantastic from this perspective. It left me speechless as the instructor guided us back towards the landing field near the hangar where we had taken off from.

He offered to let me steer for a moment but I declined unwilling to have anything distract me from appreciating this temporary glimpse of the world below me. It seemed completely at peace.

Evan was waiting for us when we finally stumbled to the ground at the end of our journey down. He ran up and hugged me as soon as the instructor freed me from my harness.

"Was that the most amazing thing you've ever experienced or what?!" he lifted me off my feet.

"I...I don't have a single word to describe it," I hugged him back.

He put me down and I just stood there breathing deeply and sighing as I shook my head in disbelief. My mind replayed the entire event from each moment to the next. While I recovered myself, our partners led us back inside through the hangar. After a short wait, they gave us our first diving certificates along with the commemorative videos celebrating our achievement.

Evan was bubbling over and repeated time and again how exhilarating it was and how much he couldn't wait to do it again. I smiled and nodded, made responses when I could articulate myself clearly enough. My mind was cherishing the idea Evan had so prophetically stated earlier. Every single cell in my body was alive and joyously celebrating the fact that I had defied death. I didn't think anything would ever frighten me again.

## Chapter 19

As summer drew to a close Evan started making arrangements to head back to school. The prospect of losing him broke my heart. He was my only friend. We had spent so much time together and done so many things; I didn't think I could make it through however many months he would be away without him.

I moped around the house during the day and sobbed into Ares coat at night while I reflected on all the good times we had had.

"It's all coming to an end," I whispered into Ares ear.

He seemed to sense what was happening, too, and when they were together Ares got snippy and jealous if anyone interrupted their one-on-one time. Thankfully, that was usually late at night while we were all watching TV together. As long as I let him stay curled up at Evan's feet, Ares kept his temper in check. I did end up scolding him once, though, for getting grumpy with me.

I woke up early one morning and decided to go for a run to work out some of the anxiety I was feeling. Ares had gotten used to running with both me and Evan. He acted like he didn't want to go without him but I was adamant. He sat on his haunches and refused to budge until I finally growled out my insistence. I had never yelled at him before and I think it confused him more than anything else. Afterwards he grudgingly let me clip his leash on and we set off.

It was still somewhat dark out, cloudy and with the sun just beginning to brighten the horizon. We started at an easy pace but as we went my thoughts kept shifting and churning in a negative, selfish cycle and I picked up the tempo several times. It didn't take much effort for Ares to keep up and I honestly didn't notice how hard I was working or how far we had run.

The greenway we were on was 10 miles from end to end and most days I ran to about the 3 or 4-mile mark, turned and headed back. In the moody state, I was in I must not have noticed it and ran right by. We came to a wooden bridge that crossed a small creek and as I stepped on the first plank I realized I didn't recognize where I was.

I pulled up short but Ares kept running. I heard a loud, angry rumble come from his chest and before I could get the double handed grip I would have needed to hold him back, he flew off.

"Shit!" I stumbled forward as the leash slipped through my fingers.

I stood up and called in every direction then listened for a few moments to see if he would come back. Nothing but silence answered me so I started across the bridge and wandered down the path.

"Ares!"

I kept calling out his name over and over while intermittently waiting to hear a response but it was no use. Eventually I came to the end of the trail and not knowing what else to do retraced my route hoping to find Ares on my way back. I considered calling home to see if he had somehow found his way back without me but in my haste to get out I had forgotten my phone.

It still seemed dusky-dark even though the sun had fully come up. The sky was full of rain clouds and I knew I had to hurry so I started to jog. I neared the bridge again and for some reason I started to get panicky, like I had to get away from something. I glanced over my shoulder and though there was nothing behind me I ran a little faster and a little faster.

Halfway across the bridge something, someone loomed up in front of me. It happened incredibly fast, too fast for me to react. One moment I was running across the bridge, the next I had an arm around my throat and a hand across my mouth and someone was dragging me away.

Then something even more incredible happened, I defended myself. I bit their hand and kicked my attacker in the knee. The assailant's leg buckled as I fought myself away and whirled to face him. I went on the offensive. I was absolutely furious, my thoughts and actions so automatic they seemed a blur. Apparently, I knew how to fight but a moment after I made the realization, Ares launched himself out of nowhere and joined the fray.

"Run, Emily! Run!" a strange voice echoed in my head. Before I could make any sense of the situation a third figure appeared, seized my attacker and vanished into the trees lining the greenway.

I gulped, gathered up Ares' leash and ran towards home. I didn't pull up until we neared the cul-de-sac where I stopped to catch my breath, hoping to compose myself before anyone saw me. As I bent over and huffed for a minute or two my mind seemed to awaken to everything that had just taken place.

"Oh, Ares," I cried out and threw my arms around him not really knowing what to say or what to do. We heard someone approaching and Ares pulled away. Other than a soft grumble Ares ignored the stranger as he hurried towards us.

"Emily," the voice paralyzed me. "I'm so sorry. I won't let this happen again," the stranger assured me.

"A...Av..." I tried speaking. He rested his hand on my shoulder. There seemed to be a sudden rustling and adjusting of my thoughts and everything but the pleasantness of a morning run washed away. A moment later Ares and I were making our way up the driveway and letting ourselves into the house. As we stepped inside Evan, the smell of bacon frying and the aroma of coffee welcomed us.

"Hey!" he called from the kitchen. "Thanks for waiting!"

"Sorry," I popped my head into the kitchen, "it looked like it might rain and I didn't want to miss my chance."

"Yeah, yeah...sure...sure..." he frowned at me. "Are you hungry?"

"I could eat," I grinned.

"Wash up and I'll fix you a plate."

When I finished I poured two cups of coffee for us and sat down across from Evan. As we started on our meal, my dad swung through the kitchen on his way to work. He said good morning to each of us, snagged a slice of our toast and a swig of my coffee before running out the door.

"I'm late," he chuckled an apology. "See you tonight."

After he left Evan struck up a conversation. "Just a few more days Em and I'm off. What do you think you'll do while I'm gone?"

"Ugh!" I moaned. "Nothing if Mom has her way!"

"Now don't go getting soft on me! I've got plans for us when I get back."

"Oh, you do, do you?"

"Yep. This list of yours it's like that commercial - it keeps going and going," he smiled over the rim of his mug. I smiled back. "Mom might not let you do much but make the most of what you can do. In the meantime, you should think about studying for your driver's test. I'm sure there's something you can go over online. If you get your license you can come see me on the weekends. It's a bit of a drive but..."

"Really?" I asked surprised that he would want me to visit when he could be out with his friends and girlfriends doing whatever it was that college students did.

"Yeah, of course I want you to visit! I haven't had this much fun over a summer since you left."

"I didn't leave, Evan!"

"Aww, crap," he said, "I didn't mean it like that. You know what I meant. Damn, Em! It just wasn't the same without you, that's all I was trying to say."

"I know. I'm sorry. If I only had an explanation! God, I wish I could tell you."

"It's okay, Em. It wasn't your fault. I know it wasn't. Whatever happened, it happened for a reason and I'm so happy to have you back! I was a shitty little brother," he laughed at some distant memory. "I got you in trouble more times than I can count! That much, at least, I'm glad you don't remember. You would hate me so much if you knew! This is going to sound crazy, but at first, I thought it was my fault; that you left because of me. I thought you hated me and ran away so you wouldn't have to be my sister anymore," Evan's voice cracked as he made the confession.

I got up and moved around the table and hugged him. "You're my family, Evan. No matter how horrible you were I would never have willing left you." I kissed the top of his head.

"I know, I was just a kid and that's just the way kids think. He glanced up at me, "I'll really miss you, Em. Promise me you'll get your license and come visit."

"I will. I promise."

Evan left at the end of the week. It was a somber day for us all; my mother, father, Ares and I. We stood in the driveway trying not to cry and watched him back out. He made a silly motion to me and held his hand out the window. He twisted his fingers and gestured as though he was turning a key. I understood what it meant and had every intention of keeping my promise. When the car dipped from view, we all turned and headed back inside and from there we each went our separate ways so we could privately mourn his loss.

I spent most of my morning looking over our summer photos but that only made me feel Evan's absence more acutely. I tried distracting myself by studying for my driver's test and catching up on my laundry and so forth. By mid-afternoon I ran out of diversions and decided it might be a good day to give Ares a bath. I hadn't seen him for a few hours and wondered where he had gotten off to. He was too big to overlook so after a quick check of the downstairs I wandered upstairs. I found him in Evan's room lying beside his bed and gazing longingly toward the doorway.

He looked so mournful it brought a few tears to my eyes, "Yeah, we all feel about the same, buddy."

Ares picked his head up and wagged his tail, happy I guess, to have someone talk to him. I sighed and rather than tormenting him by following through with my plan for a bath I sat down beside him and absently stroked his belly. Since returning home I had only spent a handful of minutes in Evan's room and just now seemed to notice how many things he had kept from his youth.

Most of it looked like the standard stuff you would expect to find in a guy's room; a baseball and glove, trophies, pictures of sports heroes and so forth. There was a photo of him and I together on his nightstand. I picked it up and studied it for a few minutes. We were so young. I wondered when it was taken; if it was around the time I...I

"I what? Did I run away? Did someone take me? If someone did, did they let me go or did I escape?"

They were all questions that crossed my mind from time to time, I never considered them with much perseverance, though. Sometimes it seemed like I shouldn't remember. Part of me believed that if I did remember or if I did ever learn the truth it would have been much more painful than the not remembering. While I was having these thoughts, I stopped petting Ares and he soon decided that my break had been long enough. He wiggled out from behind me and stood up, shaking and stretching himself.

He went to the door and glancing over his shoulder, looked at me imploringly.

"Outside?" I asked.

Funny how one word can have such an effect on a dog. He bounded back to where I sat and urged me up. As I did something in Evan's closet caught my eye. It was an odd little, hand painted box latched closed with a tiny, luggage-style lock. I smiled when I saw it and instead of taking Ares out like I planned I went to the closet and brought the box down.

After searching all the places, I thought Evan might have hidden the key, I came up empty. Though I knew it was wrong, I wondered if I could use something to pick the lock. I went downstairs and after searching through my father's junk drawer went back to Evan's room with a miniature screwdriver and forced it into the lock. I felt absolutely determined to find out what was in the box.

Ares seemed to understand I was up to no good, either that or he was trying to get me to follow through with my promise to take him out. I shooed him from the room and closed the door. He took a strong exception to the snub and started scratching at the door.

"Emily? Are you in there?" I heard the doorknob turning and guilty tucked the box back into the closet. "What are you doing?" my mom asked as she poked her head in.

"Just missing Evan," I nervously replied.

"Well, somebody is missing you it seems," she ruffled Ares ears. "I think he wants to go outside."

Ares spun around excitedly and raced down the hallway to the top of the stairs and back.

"Yep," I smiled, "I think you're right."

I took one last glance at the box and felt all the shame for what I had been about to do. It seemed very disrespectful and I didn't understand why I would even consider it.

"It's not like I can't just ask him about it!" I scolded myself as I left the room. "He'll call and when he does, I'll mention it in passing somehow. I bet I won't even have to ask and he'll just go ahead and tell me."

The box was all but forgotten until the day of my driver's test. I was so nervous I couldn't eat. My mother drove me to the DMV and when my turn came up an administrator sent me to one of the computer stations. I logged on and took the written exam. It would have gone by or should have gone by a lot quicker but I wanted to be certain I passed. I went over every question multiple times to make absolutely sure I got them right.

Since there was no sense in taking the road test without first passing the written, the results came back right away. All my studying had paid off and it thrilled me to learn I had gotten every answer correct. I went back to the waiting area where my mother congratulated me. We sat and chatted together until a tester was available to take me on the road exam.

After about 15 minutes the administrator called my name again. I went to the counter and they told me where to go to meet the person who would give me the actual driving test. He was gruff and spoke without bothering to look at me or anything really, other than his clipboard. I did everything by the book - took the driver's seat, checked all the mirrors, etc. then started the car.

As we drove, the tester gave me step-by-step instructions for everything he wanted me to do; merge into traffic, change lanes, left turn, right turn and so forth and so on. Everything he asked I did confidently and correctly until it came time to parallel park. My mom had a small car and I had practiced parking dozens of times so it should have been easy. I don't know what came over me but I didn't get it on the first try, or the second. I was so nervous and ashamed by then that I barely managed to complete the feat on the third try but the tester seemed satisfied.

"Good enough," he grumbled. "Take this left and head back to the building."

I thought for sure he would fail me but apparently my inability to park didn't make me a hazardous driver. My examiner handed me a form at the end of the test which I took to the counter. After waiting in line for another handful of minutes I found myself standing in front of the camera with a tremendously giddy grin. A snap and a flash, another short wait then the clerk called me to the counter one last time and handed me my license.

I held it up for my mother to see.

"Just like that," she smiled.

"Just like that," I snapped my fingers in emphasis.

When we got home, I immediately phoned Evan to share the news. My call went straight through to his voicemail so I left a brief message and asked him to call me back when he had a chance. Midway through dinner he returned my call and apologized for not getting back to me sooner. He told me he turned his phone off so it wouldn't distract him during class and he never remembered to switch it back on.

"Anyway!" I could hear the excitement in his voice. "You did it, huh? Got your license and now you can come visit me."

"Yep!"

"Well, let's make some plans then. How about this weekend? I'm not sure what's going on but I am sure that something will come up...something always does!"

"Sounds great!"

"Good. There's a decent hotel nearby, I'll give you the address."

"Oh, but I figured..."

"Sorry, no guests in the dorms. Trust me, you wouldn't want to stay here, anyway. You wouldn't want to come anywhere near them, at least I wouldn't if I were you. Listen, you can tell Mum I'll be staying with you if you want, that way she won't worry."

"I will but you're welcome to stay, if you like."

"We'll see," he sounded uncomfortable with the suggestion.

We made our plans and though I had forgotten to ask the first few times we talked after he went back to school, I remembered the box.

"Hey, Ares was in your room the other day and when I found him there, I saw something in your closet and wondered what it was."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Some kind of box with a lock."

Evan laughed a little, "My treasure chest! I haven't looked in that for years. Why don't you go get it and have a look?"

"No..." I quickly refused even though the prospect delighted me.

"Yeah, go ahead. I doubt there's anything worthwhile in it. Probably just a few old coins or my," he coughed suggestively, "my magazine collection."

"Eww!"

"Hey, what's a boy to do?"

"OK, you've said more than enough now."

"Actually...you know what, I think there might be something of yours in there."

"Really? What?"

"I'm not sure. Some necklace or charm or something. I found it in your room the day we found out you were missing. I took it and hid it before the police came and...wow...I guess I just didn't want them to take it." Evan chuckled, "I can't believe I remember all that!"

"Well, maybe I'll have a look before I go to bed tonight."

"You should. It was quite pretty whatever it was," I heard a girl's voice calling Evan in the background. "Listen, I've got to get going. Call me before you leave and I'll meet you at the hotel and help you get settled."

"Will do."

We said goodbye and afterwards I sat there for a minute thinking about what he had said. Now that I had his permission and he told me what I might find I wasn't so sure I wanted to look in the box. It was one of those strange reactions you get when you're suddenly given exactly what you want only to find out it wasn't what you wanted at all. I decided to put it off. The box wasn't going anywhere and neither was I, at least not until the weekend.

Over dinner I told my parents about my conversation with Evan and my plans to visit him. My dad was open to the idea but my mother had a million and one questions. She didn't seem satisfied with any of my answers. Towards the end of dinner, I thought she would either ask me not to go or simply tell me I couldn't. I looked at her and shook my head.

"Mum," I began. My dad interrupted. He sensed that whatever I had to say would lead to an argument or, at the very least, an unpleasant disagreement between my mother and I. I gave him a long look before turning back to my mother. Though I wanted to sound understanding and apologetic, my voice was full of determination. "I am going to visit Evan and I am going to stay at a hotel near the campus. If he doesn't have plans Evan is going to stay with me but I doubt that will be the case. I am sorry if that worries or upsets you but it's my decision and I've already made it."

I nodded to both my parents, collected my plate to put in the dishwasher and headed upstairs to my room. After an hour or so I went back down and though I could tell my mom was still angry with me, I settled onto the couch beside her. Together we watched a show she had recorded the day before. It wasn't a very poignant effort but I hoped it would at least serve as the first step towards breaking the ice between us.

When the show was over, I said goodnight and called to Ares. After a quick walk, we went upstairs and got ready for bed. I felt terrible for upsetting my mother and realized I would have a hard time falling asleep. Though I said I wouldn't and still felt like I shouldn't, I decided to get Evan's box down and open it up like he suggested. After collecting the chest from Evan's closet, I brought it to my room and using my dad's mini-screwdriver, I jimmied the lock open.

Much to my surprise the box was virtually empty. Just a few scraps of trash as far as I could tell and not much more.

"Well, that was anticlimactic!" I grumbled and wondered if he had made the whole thing up to see if I would fall for it.

I decided I had better not mention opening it to Evan just in case. Full of disappointment, I slammed the lid closed and started towards my door so I could put it back where I had found it. When I did, though, I heard a strange noise come from inside the box, like something had fallen from the lid to the floor of the case. Frowning I lifted the lid again and there was the necklace he had told me about resting on the bottom of the box.

There was a hidden door built into the top of the box with a ½ inch thick secret compartment behind it. It must have gotten jarred open when I slammed the chest closed.

"Huh," I cautiously picked up the intricate chain and held it in front of my eyes while I gave it a thorough inspection.

I couldn't imagine ever wearing anything like it. It didn't seem like me, or what I knew of me, at all. I looped the chain over my head and beneath my hair then went to the mirror to see how it looked. The necklace was rather cute I decided. I tucked my hair up on top of my head to get a different perspective. The jewel-like orb centered in the middle of the charm was very odd. Its vibrant red color seemed to shift and change like some kind of liquid when it caught the light. I figured it was just a strange illusion made by the gem itself as I tentatively ran my fingers over it.

"Interesting," I mumbled.

When I finished studying it, I took the necklace off and hung it on one of the bedposts. I still felt a little sad for disappointing my mom and something else seemed to be weighing on me, too. I rolled to the side and my eyes fell on the necklace again. I reached out and ran my fingers over the strange smooth, orb again. It was rather soothing, almost hypnotic and as I held it my hand, my tension slipped away. I dozed off not long afterwards.

The conversations between my mother and I were terse and to the point for the rest of the week. When Friday afternoon finally came and it was time for me to leave she broke down and apologized. She gave me a dozen or more different precautions and made my father do a thorough inspection of the car before I left. I smiled and agreed to everything she suggested before she finally hugged me goodbye. My dad was much less dramatic and simply shook my hand, pulled me closed and urged me to be sensible and cautious.

"I will," I kissed his cheek.

Ares was beside himself that I was leaving without him. After I hugged and kissed him he strained and struggled fiercely against his leash. Both my parents had to hold him while I got in the car and drove away. I watched the three of them in the mirror for as long as I safely could then sped up. I rounded the bend that would take me out of the cul-de-sac and onto the main road then strangely, I smiled.

It didn't take long for me to realize why. I was alone. My mother wasn't popping her head in to check on me wherever I happened to be. Ares wasn't trying to get my attention so I would take him outside or for a run or to give him something to eat. My father wasn't playing mediator between me and my mom whenever we disagreed about how much or how little I should be allowed to venture on my own. The drive to Evan's campus was absolutely liberating. I felt like my entire life, even the parts I didn't remember were under surveillance. Now that I was alone it seemed like I was finally free from the suffocating sense I was constantly being watched.

My mind was so carefree and at ease I didn't bother to call Evan for over an hour after I arrived. Once I checked into the hotel and found my room I did nothing but luxuriate in the peace of solitude. Evan was expecting me though and the last thing I wanted to do was make him worry. I called my parents first to tell them I'd made it, safe and sound. Once that was out of the way I phoned Evan who jubilantly stated he was on his way.

"New club opened up near the campus and we're all going to check it out tonight! I hope you're dressed and ready to go," he teased, "I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"Oh, really! Well, I hope you don't mind waiting because I'm going to need a little longer than that!"

"Get a move on then!" and laughing Evan abruptly hung up.

## Chapter 20

Hardly three minutes later, Evan called back to tell me he was waiting for me in the lobby.

"You'd better come up. I still need a few more minutes!" I grumbled.

"Are you sure? I have someone with me."

"Yes, it's fine...I'm decent," I giggled.

We hung up and I went to the door then used the bar on the security lock to brace it open so Evan could let himself in. Afterwards I went back to the bathroom to finish my hair and make-up. When I heard him come in I called out to let him know I was just finishing up and would be right out.

While I fastened my earrings, I walked into the room and saw him and...

"Oh!" I said in surprise. I had expected to see him with one of his college buddies but there was a young woman sitting beside him on the edge of the bed instead.

"Hey, Em," Evan hopped up and the girl slowly moved to join him. She stood at his side and wrapped his fingers in hers. "Sarah, this is my sister Emily. Emily this is my girlfriend, Sarah," he motioned to each of us while he made the introduction.

"Sarah...Sarah..." I said to myself and my mind seemed to shudder when he told me her name. "It's nice to meet you, Sarah," I held my hand out.

She shifted her purse to her opposite shoulder and took the tips of my fingers in hers, "It's nice to meet you," she smiled.

There was something odd about the way she said it, like she wasn't being sincere or she was disappointed or felt sullied by my touch. I bit my tongue and turned to Evan, "Well, I guess we can go. Let me grab my purse," I pointed.

Evan's eyes followed my gesture and he noticed my charm sitting on the nightstand. "I see you found your necklace," he smiled.

"Yeah," I picked it up and ran my fingers over it. "I thought about wearing it but I wasn't sure if it would look good with what I've got on."

"Actually," Sarah seemed awed as she gazed at the necklace from where she stood, "it's very...interesting. Where did you get it?" she took a step towards me hoping to get a better look.

I shook my head and shrugged, "I'm not sure."

She tentatively reached out as she eyed the ornament. Though I hadn't planned on wearing it, I hastily looped it over my head and tucked it beneath my blouse before she had a chance to inspect it. The thought of letting her touch it was unbearable.

She frowned at me and I was sure there was some understanding lurking in her eyes, "Ah, yes! Your memory...Evan told me you had a bit of a gap there," she said.

"Gap," I clenched my jaw and cocked my head at Evan disappointed he would take the liberty of confiding something so private. Evan had never mentioned having a girlfriend and in my mind, that meant their relationship was somewhat new. I couldn't believe he told her something so delicate and personal. I would have been reluctant to share it with anyone outside my family. His willingness to reveal it to Sarah unnerved me. I wondered what else he might have disclosed. I tossed a look Evan's way but there didn't seem to be any comprehension or guilt in his expression.

At that moment, I decided that I didn't and probably would never like Sarah. I didn't bother to elaborate or try explaining my memory loss. Instead I said, "Well, it's more complicated than a gap but unfortunately no one's been able to tell me much more than that." I hoped it was enough to make her realize it wasn't anything I cared talking about.

My response thoroughly took Sarah aback. "Well, I'm sorry to have brought it up. It seems like a very sore subject for you. Are you ready?" she tucked her hand in Evan's elbow and gazed lovingly up at him.

Evan seemed oblivious to anything unusual in the exchange. "When you are," he gave her a quick peck then motioned Sarah towards the door and I reluctantly followed.

Though I didn't have the courage to ask any of them my mind was full of questions. I wondered how they met and how long they'd been together. Sarah seemed a little older than Evan, actually much older than Evan when I really thought about it. She was pretty, in truth quite beautiful but it was hard for me to appreciate when everything else about her seemed so offensive to me.

By the time we left the hotel it was much cooler than when I had arrived. The night looked like it would turn dreary before too long. I offered to drive as we stepped outside but Sarah recommended we take her car and Evan seconded her suggestion. She climbed behind the wheel and since it was a coupe Evan propped his seat up and helped me climb in the back.

"Comfy?" Sarah looked at me in the mirror once I got settled.

"Quite," I assured her and smiled happily.

I was anything but though. The backseat was tiny and since Evan was so tall he had his seat almost all the way back. Being cramped behind Evan was not only uncomfortable, it made me feel slightly claustrophobic, too. Adding to my misery, Sarah was an aggressive driver and I kept being jostled in either direction every time Sarah took a turn.

She seemed to enjoy having me at her mercy in the backseat. I could see the glee in her reflection every time she glanced in her rearview mirror. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing how frustrated I was but when I turned my focus away she abruptly stepped on her brakes. I fell forward and just managed to brace myself before dashing my head against Evans seat.

"Oops, sorry about that! I thought I saw something crossing the road," she chuckled.

Evan laughed, too, but struggled to hide it while he asked if I was alright.

"I'm fine," I chirped and smiled as if I hadn't noticed it was purposefully done.

Thankfully, I survived the ride to the club without any further incidents. Evan hopped out as soon as we got there and offering a firm hand sprung me from my rolling torture chamber.

It started to rain as we hurried towards the front door. I noticed a group of about 5 or 6 people standing under the canopy and when one of them called out, I realized they were waiting for us.

"Evan!" he moved towards us as we approached. "You made it!"

"Yep, we're all here!" he jubilantly stated.

"Nice to see you again, Sarah," Evan's friend eyed her appreciatively.

"You, too, Miles," she smiled coyly, almost invitingly. I liked her less and less by the minute.

"Is this?"

"Yep. Emily, this is my friend Miles."

"Great to meet you," he shook my hand and flashed a huge grin.

"Likewise," I smiled back but cringed inside. "Now why on Earth did I say it like that?"

Suddenly I was ill at ease and questioning everything I said and did while Evan introduced me to the rest of his friends. There were two more guys and two more girls. Once I did the math I realized why Evan made it a point to introduce me to Miles first. It was obvious the two girls were dating the two guys so Evan must have planned to have us spend the night out together.

He saw the understanding in my eyes when I turned to confront him. It surprised me that he hadn't told me of his plans beforehand. He didn't say anything but Evan's expression was apologetic and he gave me an encouraging look. I knew he was hoping I'd make the most of it.

"Now that we've all met, there's no sense standing around and letting the night get away from us! Let's get inside," Evan said. He took Sarah's hand and led the way.

The other couples followed while Miles and I trailed in everyone's wake. "So, Evan told me you were a little adventurous!" he said hoping to stir up a conversation.

My mind immediately jumped to the worst possible interpretation, "What?" I frowned and asked somewhat angrily.

"Yeah, he said you went skydiving together over the summer," his words came out hesitantly.

"Oh! Yes...yes we did," I said, relieved. "I'm sorry, I don't get out much and I'm always nervous around new people. I didn't mean to sound so...so snappy."

Miles held his hands up in mock defense, "No worries, just as long as you don't bite!"

I laughed in confusion. Everything seemed so foreign and strange to me; being out, new people, such a public place. I wasn't sure how to act.

"So, what else do you like to do, I mean when you're not jumping out of planes?" Miles and I showed our ID's and he paid both our admissions.

Now that I saw him under the light he didn't seem quite so foreboding. Miles was handsome in a studious, nerdy kind of way with dark hair and dark eyes. He had a quirky smile and seemed aware that he wasn't movie star handsome. There was a conscious confidence and a laid-back attitude to everything he did, though. It seemed to indicate that what he lacked in looks he made up for in personality. I had the sense Evan purposefully chose Miles thinking his friendly disposition would put me at ease. He obviously wanted me to have a good time and must have felt Miles was a safe bet for a fun night.

The cashier gave us both wrist bands which surprised me since Evan, and I suspected all of his friends, were under 21. I didn't say anything but raised my brows in acknowledgement and followed Miles and the others into the club. Evan gave me a quick wave then he and Sarah melted into the throngs of people on the dance floor. The other two couples did much the same while Miles and I stood there shifting awkwardly.

"Do you want to dance?" even though he raised his voice, I barely heard him over the music.

"No. I'm not much of a dancer," I looked away. "Actually, I don't think I've ever danced."

"Never danced?" Miles stepped back and studied my expression as he attempted to discover whether I was telling the truth.

I gazed longingly over his shoulder and sighed, "No. No...I don't think I can."

"That's too bad," he glanced around and for a moment I wondered if he considered leaving me there so he could find another partner. "Do you want a drink?"

I shrugged, "Sure." He led me to the bar, ordered for himself then turned to me and asked me what I wanted. "Um...uh..." I wasn't sure how to answer.

"Don't tell me you've never had a cocktail?" he said it jokingly not really guessing the truth of it. My face fell. "Oh, my," he said once he realized, "have you been hiding under a rock?" he gave a confused, unbelieving chuckle.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "This was a mistake."

I started to walk away. My heart was pounding and I felt so ashamed. I cursed Evan for thinking that taking me out and letting me meet his friends was a good idea. I never realized how hard it would be to interact and engage with people. There were so many things I couldn't remember and didn't know about myself.

A pool of tears flooded my eyes. I couldn't see where I was going and I inadvertently bumped into someone standing on the edge of the dance floor watching the crowd.

He turned and faced me, "Whoa, there, sweetheart," he reached out and kept me from stumbling any further. He smiled brightly, his eyes sparkling with humor, "Hey, do I know you?" his expression changed dramatically as he stared down at my chest. It stunned me and I almost wrenched myself away. Then he reached out and curled his fingers around my charm. "How do you know Daemon?" he bent down and looked into my eyes. I couldn't pull my gaze away. "Wait," he looked puzzled, "do you know Daemon? Do you know anyth..." he stopped speaking and his eyes darted from one section of the club, to the next, to the next.

I felt a little dizzy and my mind went completely blank for several seconds. I thought I heard a voice calling my name from behind so I peered over my shoulder expecting to find Miles but there was no one there. When I turned back to the stranger to offer an apology and excuse myself I caught a glimpse of someone staring at me from the opposite end of the room. Everything I saw seemed to waver in front of my eyes, like it was somehow translucent or surreal. During those few short seconds both the stranger I had bumped into and the person who was staring at me across the room seemed to vanish.

It was terribly unsettling and I was desperate to escape the eeriness of everything that had just happened. As I hurried toward the door Evan caught my eye. I shook my head no hoping he would somehow understand and not come after me. He followed me outside though, and I tried to sound convincing when he asked me what was wrong.

"Em, what happened? Why did you leave the club?"

"I guess I'm not in the mood for dancing," I smiled half-heartedly.

"Ah, come on, Em! There's obviously more to it than that! Was it Miles? I can't imagine him..."

I shook my head, "No. It's not Miles. It's me. I'm sorry, Evan. This just isn't me. I know you meant well but...I've...I'm not...this is all so new to me. I can't just..."

"Oh," he reached out and clutched my arms. "Em! I'm so sorry. I guess I didn't think this through, did I? I figured... God! You don't...yeah...me and Mom and Dad...that's all you know, isn't it?" he pulled me close and hugged me. "I should have made better plans for us. Wait here, I'll go get Sarah and we'll take you back to the hotel."

"I can call a cab."

"No...aww...crap...no. I can't let you do that."

"It's fine, Evan. Really. Go, spend time with your friends. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Sarah strode up behind him and laid her chin on his shoulder. "I thought the party was inside, not out," she nibbled Evan's ear.

He smiled and shivered as I watched him trying to hide the pleasure her touch gave him. "I was just saying goodbye to Emily. She's not feeling well and is going back to the hotel."

I opened my mouth to speak, utterly confused at the sudden change in Evan's conviction that he needed to see me safely back to my room.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Sarah cooed. "Would you like me to drive you back?"

"No!" I cleared my throat. "No, thank you. I've already called a cab," I lied.

"Well, maybe we'll see each other tomorrow, and if not, some other time I'm sure."

"I'll look forward to it," I smiled first at her then at Evan. "Goodnight."

He kissed my cheek, "Take care. Call me if you need anything," he shouted as Sarah turned and led him away.

I watched them for a moment while shaking my head. I couldn't imagine what he saw in someone like her but I was sure it wasn't anything more than the superficial. Once they disappeared from view, I asked the doorman if he knew of any taxi services in the area.

"I'll call one for you... or why don't you take this one." As he spoke a cab pulled up to the curb to drop off a couple patrons. The doorman bent down and asked if he wouldn't mind another fare.

"Where to?" the driver leaned over and questioned me through the open door.

I gave him the name of the hotel and the street it was on.

Nodding he said, "Yep, I'm familiar with it. Hop in."

A moment later we were on our way. During the short drive, my mind replayed all the events from throughout the evening. I sighed more than once during the ride and must have been very expressive. After a few minutes of contemplation, the driver glanced at me in his mirror and asked, "Something on your mind?"

"Oh, no. Well, yes," I almost told him but thought better of it. "It's nothing really," I mumbled and slumped back against the seat. There was something about him though and after the brief exchange I found myself studying his reflection in the mirror. He caught me more than once and when I realized what I was doing, I quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. I...you...you look familiar."

He gave a slight guffaw, "Do I?" Even his voice sounded familiar. "I get that a lot. Must just have one of those faces."

I didn't want to press him so I smiled and turned away. When we got to the hotel he got out of the car and hurried around to my door, then let me out. I fished around in my purse, "How much do I owe you?" I asked.

"Don't worry about it. You were my last fare and your hotel was on my way. Have a good night," he called as he slid back into the driver's seat.

"Huh!" I mumbled as I watched him pull away. "Oh, well," I shrugged and made my way inside and up to my room.

It was early but there was nothing to do so I decided I might as well get ready for bed. When I finished I sent a text to my mom and dad to let them know that all was well. I told them the long drive wore me out and I decided to call it a night. I tucked my phone away and propped myself up on the pillows intending to watch a little TV.

After flipping through the channels once or twice I settled on some sci-fi movie and put the remote aside. It must not have been very engaging and before I realized that I was drifting off, I was asleep. Hours later I woke to someone gently rapping on my door.

"Emily? Emily, are you awake?"

"Sarah?" I mumbled to myself unable to imagine why she would be there. I cautiously approached the door and looked through the peephole just to be sure. It was definitely her. "Is that you, Sarah?" I asked while I arranged my thoughts hoping it would buy some time.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. Is Evan in there with you?"

My heart skipped a beat when I realized something must be very wrong if she didn't know where he was. I unbolted the door and let her in. "Evan's not here," I confessed.

She looked disheveled and it seemed like she may have been crying. When she stepped into the room, she peeked in the doorways to the bathroom and closet. I guessed it was to assure herself that I was telling the truth and Evan wasn't with me.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Yes. Yes, indeed, what happened," Sarah went to the door and bolted it. She whirled to face me, her expression vastly different than it was a moment ago. "Ah, Emily," she leaned her weight back and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "How long has it been now? A year? More?"

I shook my head nervously, "What are you talking about? Why are you here and what happened to Evan?" I demanded. My mind went into a flurry of activity and I couldn't settle on any one particular concern as she eyed me from across the room.

"Aww, he's quite a doll that one," she smiled. "Don't worry, Evan's fine. I don't have quite the resources that Herrik had, but I'll be sure to take good care of him for you once I've settled things with Freya."

"Did you hurt him? What did you do to Evan?!"

"Nothing he wouldn't beg me to do to him...over and over and over again!" she laughed.

I grabbed the first thing I could reach and threw it at her head. To my amazement she seemed to disappear before it even left my hand. I watched the remote strike the wall then fall uselessly onto the carpet.

"Tsk, tsk. That is no way to treat and old friend!" Sarah called from behind me.

"Oh, God!" I cried out.

"God can't help you now!" she bellowed. Instinct told me to run but as soon as I tried to move Sarah seized me and forced me to my knees. "You can't imagine what it's like out there! Freya has been searching high and low, picking us off one by one. She won't stop! She'll never stop until she's killed us all. But maybe she would for you. If I bring you to her, if I give her the one thing that will break Herrik and bind him to her forever!"

I watched in horrified disbelief as Sarah grabbed my face in her hands and her eyes bore into mine. She leaned down closer and closer. I saw her lips curl back and the vicious flash of her teeth before she sunk them into my neck.

I closed my eyes. There was a faint click. I heard the door swing open then close abruptly.

"Let her go!"

I fell to the floor in a heap. Dizzily, I clawed at the bedspread and pulled myself up. My gaze fell on Sarah first.

"No!" I scrambled away. "No! NO! It can't be!" I turned towards the doorway and almost fainted from the weight of all the memories assaulting me. Avery bolstered me with his sensory gifts and though I stumbled, I stayed upright.

"Come, Emily," he held his hand out.

"Yes, go to him Emily, unless, of course, you ever want to see your brother again!"

I looked from one to the other.

"She's bluffing," he said.

"Am I?"

I didn't think she was.

"Do whatever you want to me Carah but please, please don't hurt Evan!" I took a step towards her and she smiled victoriously.

"Damn it!" Avery cried and lunged for me.

He threw his arms around me and ran us towards the door. It gave way as he rammed his shoulder into it and we crashed through the hallway into the wall opposite my door. The impact made a huge divot in the plaster but Avery quickly recovered himself and tossing me over his shoulder bolted for the stairwell. He jumped over the rail and we plummeted all the way down to the main floor.

The jolt from the landing knocked the wind from me and all I could do was lay limply over his shoulder as he raced us through the lobby. A moment later we were outside. Avery stuffed me into the backseat of the cab he had dropped me off in just a few short hours ago. He took the wheel and gunned the engine as Carah came running out of the hotel. Her fist came down on the trunk but she couldn't hold on. Seconds later she was nothing but a pinprick in the distance.

"Did we lose her?" I gulped and nodded at his reflection in the mirror while a steady stream of tears slid down my cheeks. Avery's eyes filled with pity, "Sleep," he whispered. I tried fighting his mental command. I hadn't needed to use the trick Herrik had taught me for so long, though, that my natural guards were too weak to resist. My head lolled and my body slumped sideways down the back of the seat and I fell sound asleep.

My fingers twitched when I woke and as I came to, I realized someone was holding my hand.

"Evan?" I blinked.

"Ssh, Emily. No. It's Avery."

"Avery!" I sat up too fast and my head protested with a violent stab of pain.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. You should know better than to resist," I heard a faint smile in his voice.

I cautiously opened my eyes. "Where are we?"

"Somewhere safe," he stroked my forehead and some of the pain and tension eased up, "for now," he added. "I need to take you home soon. We'll wait until you feel a little stronger then once I can get Artur's blocks back in place..."

"What?" I swatted his hand away. "No!" I shook my head and winced. "How could you even suggest that? I won't go! Not this time! I need to find Evan. I need to see Herrik. We have to..."

"You can't Emily. It's too late. Maybe not for Evan but for Herrik...he's not the man you remember. Not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I can find Evan for you. Carah may be a formidable tracker but she is lazy when it comes to her own concealment. It shouldn't take more than a night or two."

"Let me help you!" I clutched at his hand, "We'll find Carah together then we can come up with a way to help Herrik!"

"We?! Emily, there is no we anymore! They're gone! Every single one of them is gone, including Herrik!"

"What do you mean gone?!" for a moment I thought the unimaginable.

Avery took a deep breath, "I can't tell you everything but from what I understand Freya has...she's made Herrik take the pledge. She drained every last drop from him and replaced it with her own. Herrik is hers and with him every vampire that ever pledged themselves to him!"

I covered my mouth and gasped, "No...no that can't be possible!" I studied Avery's expression and my heart sank. "But how are you here then?"

"Artur." Avery shared the images of his experience with me and watched the understanding unfold on my face. "Yes, Emily. I am bound to Artur and he gave me but one command and it cannot be broken."

"Me?" I suddenly remembered the incident on the greenway.

"You."

"But what if...there must be some way...Where is Artur?"

"I have no idea. He...I wasn't strong enough. There was no one to undo Herrik's pledge for him. I'm sure he wouldn't let himself fall into Freya's hands. He would have taken his own..." Avery cleared his throat. "And even if he is still alive it's beyond hope he'd be able to help us. Not as long as Freya lives."

I sat there for an endless moment considering everything I had just learned.

"Daemon!"

"What?"

"Daemon! He never took the pledge. Herrik wouldn't let him."

"That's impossible."

"No. It's not. Herrik told me himself."

"But we...all...saw...Good God!" Avery stood up and paced back and forth as he considered what Herrik must have done. It seemed hard for him to imagine that what I said was true. "You're sure? Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes. Herrik wouldn't have lied to me, not about something like that."

"Daemon."

"Daemon."

"No one has seen or heard from him for years. Not since..."

My fingers flew to my neck but the object I was looking for wasn't there. "She must have it!"

"Who? Have what?"

"Daemon's charm. He gave it to me the night he left the compound. He told me it was his blood and that if I drank it and called to him, he would come to me!"

"Where is it?"

"It's either at the hotel or...or Carah has it," I reluctantly admitted.

"Well, that's that. It's too dangerous to take you back to the hotel. I'll find Carah and make sure Evan is returned home safely."

"But..."

"I only have one task. I'm sorry Emily," he reached out and before I could stop him, the world went black.

Later that evening I found myself pulling into the driveway at home, my head full of all the good times Evan and I shared over the weekend. Ares popped his head in my window as soon as I brought the car to a stop. I was just as eager to see him as he was to see me and after I urged the door wide enough, I squeezed out and hugged him close.

"Aww, I've missed you, too, baby!"

He covered me with kisses while my mom and dad waited for their turn to welcome me home. It seemed like I was away much longer than the two short days that passed. I hugged both my parents then my dad offered to get my things for me. Together, Ares, my mother, father and I all went inside where we talked about our respective weekends.

"Did you meet any of Evan's friends?" my mother asked at one point.

"Yes!" I immediately answered but as soon as I said it I wasn't so sure that I had. "Well, hmm, I..." I cocked my head at my mother then turned and looked at my father. They both appeared as confused as I felt. "I think I'm just tired. It will all come back to me once I've had a chance to rest," I tried to sound reassuring but their nervous expressions changed to deep concern. I fretfully looked away hoping to hide my apprehension.

"Are you alright, sweetie?"

"I'm fine. I just need to," I stood up a bit too quickly and the blood rushed to my head. "To...rest..." my knees gave out and I tumbled to the floor.

"Emily!" my mother gasped and screamed.

My father dropped down beside me and propped me up, "Emily?"

"Oh, Dad!" I threw my arms around him.

"What is it, honey?"

I longed to tell him but I honestly didn't know, there was nothing there, nothing whatsoever I could say.

"Evan," I whispered.

"What about Evan?" my father helped me back to my seat.

I shook my head, "I'm not sure...I feel like..."

My father tried questioning me further but my mother interrupted him, "Maybe we should call the doctor."

"What? No! I'm fine, really, Mum. I'm fine! It's been a long day. I think I'll go take a bath and get ready for bed."

Before either of them objected, I called to Ares and hurried upstairs. I ran the tap and while I waited for the tub to fill, I called Evan's cell phone. Over and over again I dialed and each time it went straight to voicemail. I didn't understand why I was so worried about him but in my heart, I felt like something was terribly wrong.

While I sat on the edge of the bath I pictured how we spent our weekend. I couldn't shake the idea that there was something...something unusual about everything I remembered. I tried Evan's number one last time and left him a voicemail urging him to call me back as soon as he got my message.

Throughout my bath I kept glancing at my phone certain it would ring at any moment but it never did. I went through the motions of my bedtime routine and after taking Ares out rang Evan again. As I expected my call went straight to voicemail so I quickly hung up.

"Oh, Evan," I cried to myself, "please, please call!" I set the ringer as loud as it would go and tucked my phone under my pillow then curled up beneath the covers.

After a fitful hour or two of sleep I woke up with a start. My mind was full of a strange determination and I convinced myself that I had to go back to the hotel. There was something there, something important I had forgotten and I absolutely had to have it. I got dressed and tiptoed from my room.

Ares was curious but didn't bother to get up as I eased my door open and crept down the hallway. I went downstairs and found the keys to the car hanging on the rack in the kitchen. I grabbed them and hurried towards the front door. Much to my surprise Ares was sitting there, patiently waiting for me. He glanced back and his tail swept the floor. Obviously, he expected me to take him out.

"No," I said. "Go lay down!" I emphasized the command by pointing towards the living room.

He stood up but wouldn't move away from the door. When I tried shoving him aside he growled at me and the harder I pushed the louder he got.

"Ssh, ssh!" I frantically whispered to calm him. "No, Ares! No!" but he wouldn't let up. "Fine!" I grumbled. "Let's get this over with!"

He quieted down and let me open the door. He leapt away as soon as it was wide enough and went straight for the car.

"Good Grief! What has gotten into you? You don't really think you're coming with me, do you?" I asked even though I knew he couldn't possibly understand me. "Or maybe you do!" I said as I neared the car and saw him pawing at the handle on the passenger door.

I had no intention of bringing him with me but every time I tried getting him back in the house he bolted away. After a few minutes, I gave up and hopped in the car thinking I would just leave him there. I figured my mother or father would find him and let him in in the morning. Then he started barking. I panicked, afraid he would wake my parents and angrily got out and went to the passenger's door. As soon as I flung it open, he bounded into the passenger's seat where he happily settled himself.

"I don't understand what has gotten into you, but you, my friend, are a bad dog!"

Ares leaned over and lapped my cheek.

"A very bad dog," I laughed but my fears quickly curbed my mirth. I started the car and got us on our way.

## Chapter 21

I was glad Ares was so persistent and came with me. Despite all my worry, I was exhausted and the monotony of the drive I almost fell asleep several times. If I started looking too lax Ares would either give a little yip or paw my arm reminding me to stay alert. By the time we drove into the parking lot at the hotel I had a nice welt on my forearm from every time Ares made a swipe at me.

As we drove I wondered what I should do once we got there. I considered going into the lobby and asking the night-person if anyone had found something in one of the rooms. That didn't seem like it would produce any results, though. I didn't remember which room I stayed in and I didn't have any idea what I had forgotten.

I turned the engine off and sat in the driver's seat while I tried coming up with a plan. Ares had been still for too long and obviously wanted to get out. In my haste to get to the hotel I hadn't bothered bringing his leash. It was late and there didn't seem to be anyone in the immediate vicinity. I let him out to stretch and take care of his needs.

Much to my dismay, he shot from the car as soon as I opened the door and ran towards the back of the building. I chased after him and as I rounded the corner I thought I heard somebody cooing to him near the rear entrance to the hotel.

"Whoa there, big fella! You got me," the voice sounded full of humor.

I looked toward the doorway and was astonished to see Ares there standing on his hind legs with his paws on a strange man's shoulders.

"Ah, so it is true and the culprit does always return to the scene of the crime!" the man called to me.

"Excuse me?"

He tugged Ares from his shoulders and together they walked over to where I stood in the dim light of a street lamp. For a fleeting moment, I thought I recognized him and forgot that I should be afraid.

"Do I know you?" I looked from the man to Ares and back again and wondered if he was a friend of Evan's.

"Not intimately but I would be happy to change that if you like," he smiled suggestively.

"That's quite alright!" I retorted. "Ares, come!" I pointed at my heel and pivoted away.

"Wait!" his voice was apologetic. When I glanced back the stranger reached into his pocket and fished something out. He raised it up so it would catch the light. "Look familiar?"

It only took an instant to realize it was the object I had so urgently come back to find. An image flashed in my mind of the man and a nightclub and a conversation we seemed to have had there.

"That's right," he nodded. "You do remember...something, anyway. I'm Colin, a friend of Daemon's and I'm here to take you to him."

"Daemon! How do I know that name?" I wondered as I stared at the necklace. "Where did you get that?" I demanded.

"Hmm," the man studied me. "It's late and the sun will be up soon. I think you had better come with me. It will be much easier for Daemon to tell you than for me."

I shook my head, "No. Stay where you are! Ares, come!" I called again but he wouldn't budge.

"I guess the easy way isn't going to work, is it? Fair enough," Colin took a step towards me but Ares suddenly came to life and his friendly demeanor fell to the wayside. "Okay, okay!" Colin threw his hands up. "Just tell her to come with me, would you?" the stranger said to Ares.

Ares walked around behind me and nudged me towards the man. I stumbled a step or two towards him.

"What are you doing?" I looked back at Ares. "How did you get him to do that?" I turned back to the man.

"If you would come with me..." Colin sounded exasperated and as if to second his suggestion Ares nudged me again.

It didn't take long for the two of them to convince me. Against all my inner misgivings, Ares and I followed Colin to his car. He let Ares into the back where he stretched out across the entire seat and put his head down. I eased myself into the passenger's seat and a moment later Colin took the wheel.

After about an hour of silent driving Colin pulled to the side of the road and stopped the car. He opened the glove box and gave it a brief search before he found what he was looking for.

"Uh. Well, there's no easy way to ask so I'll just do it."

Nervous and full of confusion I looked over at him.

"I need to...you'll need to, here," Colin wrapped a blindfold around my head. "I promise, it's only for a few minutes and once we're there, you can do whatever you like with it."

It was terribly unsettling and I felt myself trembling but I couldn't see a thing. The car started rolling again. Several minutes and an interminable number of turns later it came to a stop.

"I really do apologize," Colin said. "You can take it off now."

I couldn't see much of anything but what I could see didn't look very promising. We were in a wooded lot somewhere. After helping me and Ares from the car Colin told us to wait there and that he would be right back. He took the wheel again and drove off. When he returned he led us towards a dilapidated building tucked into the corner of the lot.

Once inside he told me to watch my step and guided me to the far end of the structure. A crumbling staircase stood in the corner and led down to what I imagined would be the building's basement. He helped me navigate the first few steps and when we got to the bottom Colin had us duck under the stairwell. He pried open a doorway that to my eyes was completely indiscernible and motioned me through. After closing the door, the darkness swallowed us up for a few seconds, then a panel into a brightly lit elevator slid open.

"Going down," Colin chuckled and pushed the lowest button on the controls.

Ares sat on his haunches and waited patiently until the elevator stopped. By then my trepidation was at its height and I couldn't bring myself to follow Colin and Ares once the door opened.

"We need to hurry. Daemon is waiting for you," Colin insisted. "There isn't much time before we all need to rest."

There was only one way to turn once I stepped out and when I looked in that direction everything I saw took me by surprise. We were in a large, open room. It seemed warm and inviting, like the inside of someone's well-kept home. The only things missing were walls and windows.

Colin smiled as I took it all in, "It is someone's home...actually a lot of someones."

We started walking again and after a few yards I noticed a man moving towards us. He came slowly at first but then suddenly and without warning he was directly in front of me.

"Emily," he crushed me to his chest. "I can't believe it's you!" he pulled back and studied me.

He was breathtaking and I smiled and blushed under his intense scrutiny.

"When Colin told me, he bumped into someone at a club, I never imagined it would be you!" Daemon looked confused, "You don't remember me, do you?" his voice was full of disappointment.

I shook my head, "No. I'm sorry."

I wanted to tell him why and to explain to him that we may very well have met before but since then something...

He took my chin and I had the sense that he was examining my innermost thoughts somehow. "Artur," he mumbled, "I'm sure of it," he looked at Colin.

Colin shrugged and nodded, "I have no idea who Artur is but someone's done something."

"Do you have it?"

Colin handed Daemon the charm and after Daemon did a quick inspection, he sent him away. "Well, I guess we'd better start at the beginning. Here," he handed the necklace to me. "Let's sit somewhere and talk. Damn, I wish we had more time!"

Daemon led me towards the back wall and around one or two of the support beams to a neatly arranged living area. He asked the two people who were using the makeshift room if they would excuse us. Once they left Daemon had me take a seat on one of the ottomans. He drew a second up close and sat across from me while Ares made himself at home. He stretched out on a shaggy carpet artfully placed in front of a tremendous shelf of books.

I still held the charm and nervously ran my fingers back and forth over its smooth surface.

Daemon took my hands in his momentarily stopping them. He smiled, "I can't imagine how you know Artur or why he's done this to you. You saved my life, though, and I would do anything to repay you. I think we had better try to find out what happened."

I wasn't sure how to respond.

Daemon must have realized that I needed more convincing, "When you were 16 years old," his voice took on an eager, earnest tone; the sound of it was mesmerizing. "You...you did something for me that saved my life. I gave you that charm to remember me by. It was also a promise, though, to help you if you ever needed me and a token of the bond we shared."

Images flashed in my mind, like reflections in a pond but the water was too choppy for me to make any sense of them.

"There's a way I can show you the truth and help you remember if you'd like."

I shook my head, "How?"

"You're afraid. I understand but Emily, something happened to you. Something...something someone seems willing to kill you for. Colin saw you at a club two nights ago. You were wearing this," Daemon stroked the charm. "He wanted to find out who you were and how you knew me. So, Colin followed you from the club to your hotel to see what he could learn. He told me that a woman went to your room and not long afterwards a man. He said there was a brief scuffle and then the man escaped with you over his shoulder and the woman chased after you."

"No!" I adamantly stated. "None of that happened. I visited my brother. We spent the weekend together and I went home."

"If it was as simple as that, why did you come back?"

"I...I..."

Daemon looked down at the charm and my eyes followed his.

"Please," he said. "You're in some kind of trouble. You need help and I am offering it. It's the right thing to do, helping someone in need...it is always the right thing to do. You did it for me and now I must do it for you."

"Oh," my lips trembled. His voice, his words, they sounded so familiar they wrenched my heart. Though I was reluctant to admit it, I knew he was right. I sniffled and nodded.

"Good. There isn't much time so I need you to trust me. Close your eyes and try to relax. Whatever you do, don't panic."

I took a deep breath. He released my hands and gently took my face in his fingertips. Then I felt the pressure of his forehead as he rested it against mine.

"Ssh," Daemon whispered, "it feels strange but it will only be for a moment."

It did feel strange but there was something comforting in his touch and I willing let go of all the chaos that seemed to be swirling around in my mind. My memories slowly unraveled one after the other, not just the ones connected with Daemon, but my entire lifetime of memories. I felt him flinch at one point when Penny became a part of them but other than that Daemon was utterly quiet and still.

When it was over he pulled back and we just sat there staring across at one another in total disbelief. After a few minutes, he leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "Everything that's happened to you...it's all my..." Daemon sighed. "I take it you haven't heard from Avery since any of this happened."

I shook my head no.

"We'll find your brother, Emily. I promise!" His eyes went far away for a moment, "Wow," he said while shaking his head.

I couldn't help smiling despite all my apprehension.

"Wow!" he said again.

I wasn't sure what to make of his expression there were so many emotions washing over his features. "Not what you expected, huh?"

"Not at all!" Daemon looked away and for a moment I thought he regretted learning everything I had just shared with him.

"Haeven, huh? That's what you call it."

"Well, that is what it is, or was, and the spelling, of course, that was for you."

"And you lived there, ever since...with Penny...and Artur and Avery and Car...that bitch!" he cursed but quickly shook himself free of his anger. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

He smiled and turned his thoughts, "I don't remember ever seeing Herr...my father so happy. You must mean the world to him."

"He means the world to me," I reached out and took Daemon's hand, "as much as Penny still means to you."

"Saving them isn't going to be easy."

"I know."

"You and I...we'll never be able to do it alone. We're going to need help."

"Yes, we will."

"Once we find Evan we'll have to search for Artur. I'm sorry we can't do anything tonight...I need to rest."

"I understand."

"Tomorrow, though..." Daemon's eyes went wide as he considered the possibilities and grinned with excitement. "I'll send a few things for you and for Ares. Get some sleep if you can and when I wake, we'll make our plans."

After Daemon left, he sent someone with a few odds and ends to keep me and Ares comfortable throughout the day. We were shown all the areas we were at liberty to use and not long afterwards we found ourselves alone in the vast emptiness of their unusual dwelling. Though I didn't see where Daemon and the others went when morning came, there seemed to be other chambers set off from the main floor we were on. Everyone more or less just melted into the shadows and disappeared.

It was eerily quiet and I felt like a voyeuristic intruder once everyone vanished. I thought about having a look around but it seemed wrong to do it without a witness so I tempered my curiosity and lay down on a sofa. Ares stretched out on the floor beside me and together we slept for as long as we could.

We woke before anyone else and passed the time reading until Daemon returned to the living area at dusk. He offered to take Ares outside for me and said he sent someone for food and drinks for us both. "Have you been up long? I'm sorry there wasn't anyone here to keep you company."

"For a few hours but it was fine. It gave me time to think."

"Good. Give me a few minutes and I'll be back to hear those thoughts!"

Daemon called to Ares and he readily went to him. I watched them head towards the elevator. Shortly after they slipped from view, someone approached me carrying a tray laden with a variety of dishes.

"Daemon wasn't sure what you liked to eat, so I got a little of everything." She put the tray on the nearest ottoman and slid it closer to where I was sitting. "I'm Meredith, by the way," she held her hand out, "but everyone calls me Merry."

"Emily."

"It's nice to meet you," she smiled. "We've all heard so much about you; Daemon has told us the story. More than once," she added shyly.

She had dark hair and darker eyes and was girlishly pretty with a wide, dimpled grin. Everything about her made her instantly likeable.

"Do you mind if I sit with you while you eat?"

"Not at all. I would enjoy the company."

Merry took a seat across from me while I began picking at the various offerings. "Daemon hasn't said anything yet but I'm sure he's going to ask us if we would like to help you."

"Oh?" it surprised me that she was already aware or at least somewhat aware of why I was there.

She smiled, "Word travels fast in this type of environment," she waved her hand to indicate all our surroundings. "He would do anything for you and most of us would do anything for him."

Just then Daemon returned. Ares was several steps ahead of him and hurried up to Merry to introduce himself. She happily obliged his greeting and when Daemon made it to where we were sitting, I noticed he wasn't alone.

"Wyatt," the newcomer said and after a brief handshake he sat down beside Merry and took her hand in his. "So, you're Emily," he shook his head, "the Emily?"

The way he said it embarrassed me and I looked at Daemon unsure how to respond.

"The one," Daemon relieved me, answering on my behalf. "Is Colin back yet?"

"Right here," Ares darted away to meet him. "Yeah, I got the good stuff, buddy!" Colin had a tremendous bag of dog food slung over his shoulder and with his free hand gave Ares' head a hearty pat. "Be right back," Colin nodded to us as he walked past.

I heard the distinct sound of kibbles hitting a bowl then a tap running. A few moments later Colin reappeared to join us and two more approached from the opposite direction.

"Hey, Daemon," a lanky blonde came over and drew up a couple of chairs. He took one of the seats and the person with him settled into the other.

Colin casually sat down on the arm of the couch next to me. Daemon eyed him but Colin just shrugged.

"Well, you all know who Emily is and why I've asked you to join us this evening. I will not judge anyone who is not willing..."

"Daemon!" someone shouted. It sounded like it came from near the elevator.

He zipped away before he finished what he was saying. The others slowly rose and followed in the direction he had run off. A strange awareness washed over me and somehow, I knew what was wrong.

"Avery," his image filled my mind.

I stood up and raced toward the elevator, I saw him spread out on the floor with Daemon hunched over him. Two others stood beside them and apparently the ones who had brought Avery there.

"Where did you find him?" Daemon asked.

"In a schoolyard, downtown. We were looking for the brother like you asked and we were sure we would find him there but this is who we found instead."

"Is he?" I fearfully asked as I gazed down at the trio.

Daemon looked up and gnashed open his wrist in reply. I couldn't see much more afterwards as they crowded around Avery's body. Time seemed to stretch itself out while I shifted from foot to foot trying to get a glimpse of what was happening. Colin and the others soon joined us and one by one I examined their faces for a telltale sign of information. They would know, even without seeing, whether there was any hope for Avery.

"It's not working! Why isn't he healing?!"

My heart skipped a beat, "I know," I shoved my way through. I eased Avery's collar back and urged his shirt down around his waist. There was the unmistakable wound. Avery's blood was still seeping out of it. "You have to get the bullet out. He won't heal until you do," I looked up at Daemon my eyes full of hope but Merry was the one who came forward.

She placed her hands over Avery's abdomen and concentrated. She was utterly still and focused on the injury and I didn't dare breathe in case it would disrupt her. Once she had urged it close enough to the surface Merry plucked the bullet out and dropped it onto the floor where it whirled and danced around Daemon's feet. He stooped and carefully picked it up then disabled it. A moment later I heard Avery gasp and his body convulsed once or twice before he managed to push himself to sitting. "Herrik?" he cried and I caught a glimpse of the astonished look on his face. He looked pale, weak and worried but alert.

"It's Daemon, Avery...Daemon."

I saw a smile quiver across Avery's lips. "Jesus! It is you!" and he threw his arms around Daemon's shoulders and hugged him close.

I could see Avery's face and every second more color and vitality crept into his features. Once he was strong enough he urged everyone away and stood up. There were numerous cuts, scrapes and bruises peppered across his bare skin but they were all slowly disappearing and healing with a preternatural effervescence. He looked into Daemon's eyes then turned from Daemon to find me standing there in the crowd watching his fantastic recovery. I smiled, nervous and full of shame.

"Emily!" he cried out and pushed through the crowd to where I was standing. "How..." he looked around and I distinctly saw him lock eyes with Colin.

"You!"

Colin threw his hands up protectively as he stumbled across the floor to where Avery stood. "Just following orders," he looked at Daemon who quickly came to his defense.

"Enough!" Colin and Avery both balked at Daemon's command. Avery grudgingly recomposed himself and released Colin as he breathed a tremendous sigh of relief.

I took Avery's hand and urgently asked him how he had gotten hurt, "What happened, Avery? Did you find Evan? Does Carah still have him?"

Avery seemed reluctant to answer and Daemon sensed that he had information to share but wasn't willing to do it publicly.

"Here, let's go somewhere we can talk. Emily, Colin..." Daemon turned to Wyatt as well as Merry and the others we'd been sitting with in the living area, "you, should come, too."

The rest of the crowd dispersed with a great deal of murmuring.

"Emily, what are you doing here?" Avery asked under his breath. "How did Colin convince you to leave your home?"

"He didn't. I...I just came. I woke up and I felt like Evan was in trouble and that I had to go to the hotel. Colin was waiting when I got there and he had this...but," my voice fully expressed my confusion as I held the charm up for Avery to see.

"Daemon must have lured you back and sent Colin to fetch you. How did he know...?"

"Colin said he saw me at the nightclub and when he told Daemon..."

"I told him to stay away from you! That you were not to be interfered with."

"That's right! It was you! You were at the club, too."

"Of course, I was! Damn it! One objective, Emily and yet you do everything in your power to thwart my efforts!" He sounded angry but when I glanced up, I saw the hint of smile tugging at the corner of Avery's mouth. "Daemon," he shook his head, "how much does he know? Did you tell him about the compound, about Herrik?"

"He...we..."

"So, everything?"

I nodded, "Yes," I softly replied.

Avery sighed, "Well, maybe it's all for the best then."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll find out soon enough," he assured me as we all made our way into the living area.

This time I sat in the middle of the sofa with Avery on my right and Daemon on my left. Rather than sitting on the arm like he had before Colin fetched a chair from the kitchen area and placed it well out of Avery's reach. Everyone looked expectant as their eyes shifted from Daemon to Avery wonderingly.

"I found Emily's brother. Obviously, Emily told you he was missing though you may or may not be aware why." Avery faced Daemon but he spoke loud and clear indicating that he meant us all to hear.

Daemon nodded, "Emily told us Carah has him."

"Had," Avery corrected. "He's in the compound now," Avery looked down at his hands.

"What?!" I cried.

"I found her, Carah. She was hiding in an abandoned school. It was late and I had to rest so I knew I couldn't do anything right away. I learned the layout of the building in the short time I had, then found a safe place to spend the day. She must have woken before I did because I saw her leaving as I returned. She had Evan bound and blindfolded and she forced him into the trunk before I could stop her."

Avery looked at me, "I'm so sorry, Emily. He was still alive, though, and he didn't look hurt. I had her! For a moment, I had her but somehow Carah wrested one of those damnable guns from wherever she had it hidden and before I realized what happened, I went down. I saw it though, I saw where she was going. She plans to give Evan to Freya with assurances that once Emily finds out, she will give her life for his."

Avery's voice trailed off and the room grew unpleasantly quiet.

"I'll do it. I'll exchange myself for Evan. Avery can take me," I said without hesitation.

"Absolutely not!" Avery leapt off the couch.

"That is not the answer, Emily. No...we won't let you," Daemon confidently stated.

"But maybe..." Merry's voice trembled.

Wyatt looked at her, "What did you say?"

Merry shook her head, "No, it was nothing," she recoiled nervously.

"It was, though, I think you're on to something," Wyatt persisted.

Daemon eyed them both from where he was sitting, "What are you two mumbling over there?"

"Merry has an idea," Wyatt spoke loud enough for everyone to hear and she anxiously clutched at his hand as if she was begging him not to say anything more.

Full of curiosity, everyone grew quiet again and looked towards her.

"Well, I was just thinking...Avery knows the compound...its layout, its defenses. If we did give Emily to Freya, we could get someone or maybe even a few of us inside. Then we could disable the alarms and take care of some of the guards. We don't have the numbers to overwhelm them but with the element of surprise on our side," Merry cautiously conveyed her thoughts.

"It's too dangerous. It will never work," Avery dismissed the idea.

"No, she's right. It might. If we planned it well. Freya...she...she would want to show off. She wouldn't want to celebrate her victory alone. She would want everyone to witness it. She'd keep me...at least for a day or two. Daemon...Daemon should be the one to bring me. He never took the pledge so she'll never suspect the real reason he's there. He'll have to convince her...make her believe he wants to watch his father suffer. Herrik prevented him from being with the woman he loved. He banished Daemon from the compound when he tried to thwart his will. Why wouldn't he want Herrik to suffer a similar fate! Think what Daemon could do on the inside! He could find followers, undo Freya's pledge..." I spoke with a frenzied fervor.

"For Christ's sake, Emily! Are you mad?"

Avery's outburst shocked me back to my senses and my insides seemed to wither as I suddenly realized what I was saying and the futility of it all. I stood up, my eyes full of tears intending to walk away and hide from all the shame I suddenly felt.

"Wait, Emily. I think you're right. I think we can do this," Daemon bit his lip, "I know we can do this...but you'll have to give me one more night. There's one more person we'll need if this plan has any chance of succeeding," Daemon turned his gaze on Avery. "You're going to have to tell me where Artur is."

"I have no idea..." Avery shook his head.

Daemon smiled, "Oh, but you do," he raised his hands, "it's buried somewhere in there and I intend to dig it out!"

## Chapter 22

Avery batted Daemon's hands away. "I'm sorry, I can't let you do that."

"Why not?"

"It's too...there are things..."

I thought I understood why Avery was so reluctant. He had feelings, emotions he couldn't bring himself to share with Daemon.

"I'm sure Herrik has told him many things out of necessity that it would be best if no one else were to know."

Avery tossed me a look of gratitude but Daemon looked skeptical, "Colin, then?"

Avery took that as a worse affront than opening his mind to Daemon, "Not a chance!"

"Well, you haven't got much choice! We're rather limited on people with that particular gift..."

"I'll do it," Merry interrupted. "If Avery feels comfortable with me and would be willing to let me try."

Daemon turned expectantly towards Avery and waited for his answer. "Fine," Avery nodded, "but I would prefer to do it without an audience."

"Fair enough. We'll wait here. Merry, you can use my room if you'd like."

"Sure. We'll be back as soon as we find what we're looking for."

We watched the two of them leave. Wyatt seemed uncomfortable and was the last to turn back once they were out of sight.

"So, what are your plans if you do actually find Artur?" I turned to Daemon.

"That is the plan – finding Artur. Once we release him from Herr...Freya's pledge he'll be able to help us figure out the best way to go about saving Evan, Herrik and the others."

"And if we don't find him?" Colin asked the question on everyone's mind.

"Then we'll do whatever we must. Emily sacrificed everything for me – her friends, her family, her home. With or without Artur, with or without any of you I intend to pay her back."

"Daemon," I shook my head.

"Yeah, Daemon! As if any of us would let you do this alone!" Colin's brow furrowed in anger and disbelief. Ares got up sensing the sudden hostility and laid his head in Colin's lap. "It's alright, buddy! No one is gonna leave us out! We're all in this together, aren't we? High five!" Colin held his hand up and much to my surprise Ares gave it a happy slap.

"That's it! How are you getting him to do these things? He can't possibly understand you...but"

"It's a gift," Colin chuckled.

I rolled my eyes.

"No really...it's a gift...one of my gifts. I talk to animals," he laughed at the ridiculousness of his own statement.

"He doesn't talk to animals," Daemon called to Ares and he obediently went to Daemon's side. "He's showing Ares images and pictures of what he wants him to do and Ares is just following the suggestion. To Ares it's his own idea. He sees the picture and believes he thought of it all by himself then acts out whatever he visualizes."

"Huh," I sat back as I considered the explanation. After a moment, I realized that I had overlooked something Colin had said. "Oh, and just so we're clear, we are leaving Ares out. There's no reason to make him take part in any of this."

"I think we should let him make his own decision, right buddy?"

Ares yipped as if to say he agreed.

I started to interject again but my eyes caught Merry and Avery returning and we all stood up eager to hear what they had to say. Merry came and resumed her seat by Wyatt but Avery stopped at the edge of the living area and motioned to Daemon. Together they went off for several minutes and though we could all see them, their conversation was completely inaudible to any of us.

"Alright," Daemon nodded agreement to whatever Avery had said. Their conversation apparently over, Daemon looked our way, "Wyatt," he called, "Davit," the lanky blonde stood up and they both made their way toward the group.

Once they joined Daemon and Avery another silent conversation passed between the four of them. A few moments later Wyatt and Davit led Avery away while Daemon approached the rest of us where we were still standing in the living area.

"We have the information we need but we don't have much time. Colin, Merry, I want you to stay behind and look after Emily. She is not to leave the building and neither are either of you. If there's anything you need and we don't have here, you'll have go without. "If it's an absolute," Daemon put extra emphasis on absolute, "necessity, send someone for it. Make sure they are discreet! The last thing we want is someone following them and leading them here."

Then Daemon turned to me and took my hands, "Wish me luck!" he smiled and pecked me on the cheek. "We'll be back before dawn." As he finished the statement, we saw the others making their way down the hallway towards the elevator. They all looked very grave as they glanced back toward Daemon and I as we said goodbye. I had a hundred questions but Daemon cut me off, "Gotta go!" and before I could protest, he joined the others.

They all had their backs to us as they piled into the elevator and the door closed behind them. I slumped down onto the sofa and wondered how I would make it through the night. I couldn't stop worrying they might all be walking into an impossible situation that nothing could have prepared them for.

"There's worse to come if they succeed," Colin interrupted my thoughts. "Maybe you should save your fear."

It sounded harsh but I knew he was being sincere.

"Well, it will be a long night if we just sit here worrying about them. Maybe we should try to make the most of it," Merry looked from me to Colin and Finn. "You haven't said anything since any of this happened, Finn. I can tell you're worried about Davit but there's something else going on in there, too," she sounded sympathetic. "Is there something you'd like to say?" she asked.

I noticed Finn earlier when he came and sat down with Davit after I first arrived. He was so still and quiet though that I overlooked him ever since. His response wasn't at all what I expected and my heart shrank when I heard his reply.

"I'm sure Daemon will find this Artur and I understand what he expects us to do once he does. I don't believe any of us are fully aware of what we're getting into though," he waved his hand to indicate more than just the handful of us sitting in the living area. "This...Haeven..." he cocked his head and met my eyes, "Daemon hasn't told us much about it but I suspect it's more than an oasis for lost souls."

What he said and how he said it offended me but he was absolutely right. The compound was a beautiful refuge for both our kinds but a well-guarded one, too. I had always thought of it simply as my home. Herrik, Avery and Artur were always looking out for both me and Penny so I hardly knew a moment of fear the entire time I lived there. Haeven was more, much more than that, though. In reality, it was a virtual fortress and many of the people who called it home were well-trained and if necessary, merciless killers.

Finn started to say something but Merry quickly moved to hush him.

"No. He's right. Haeven is as dangerous as it is beautiful and under Freya..." I pursed my lips.

"You need to tell us whatever you can remember," Finn insisted.

"It's been more than a year since I've been there and I kept to the lowest levels. I'm not sure what I can tell you about other than the garden and some of the common areas I've been to."

"You may not think it much but I'm sure you've seen a lot more than you imagine. Maybe you should let us be the judges of what you know and what you don't know!"

"Finn!" Merry gasped.

Again, I recoiled at the accusation in Finn's voice. As I studied the three of them, though, I didn't see any harm in telling them what I could remember. I took a deep breath, "Haeven is...it's carved, I guess, into the hillside overlooking the canyon. I'm only aware of one access road and I believe it's the only way in or out of the compound. The road is...it's disguised somehow and even though I travelled it dozens of times, I was always with Herrik. We always stopped before... huh...he must have..." I frowned and shook my head. "I don't think I ever saw it. I'm not sure I would recognize it on my own."

Colin, Merry and Finn all looked at me expectantly while they waited for me to go on. I sat still while gathering my thoughts. Though it took a while for me to begin speaking again, once I did, I found my memories came quicker and more precise with the telling. Haeven had been my home for seven years and I realized Finn had guessed correctly. I did seem to know much more about the layout and dynamics of the compound than I would have guessed.

As I continued describing it the more I missed it and the more personal my tale became. Soon I began telling them not only about the compound and its layout but about the people who lived there. I never realized I knew so many, that there were so many I had cared about and loved.

Eventually I sensed I had gone off-topic and apologized for the lapse.

"No...this is good," Colin quickly interrupted. "Knowing who you cared for will give us an idea of who cared for you. Those are the ones most likely to rally to our cause once we get inside."

"I agree with Colin," Finn clenched his jaw as he said it. "Maybe you should show us some of these people so we'll be able to recognize friend from foe."

I instantly realized what Finn was suggesting and considered whether I should offer myself up to the idea.

"Maybe we should wait for Daemon to get back. It wouldn't be right for us to intrude on Emily's thoughts like that," Merry interjected.

"Intruding! She's asking us to risk everything for the people she loves but what about us, huh? And the people we love!"

Merry was about to reply but Colin spoke up before she had a chance, "He's got a point," Colin looked hesitant but thoughtful.

Merry turned away unwilling to sway me one way or the other. Finn glared at me as if to say there was only one answer in his opinion and Colin seemed willing to let the chips fall where they may.

"Of course. I'll do whatever I can."

Finn drew his chair closer while Merry and Colin took a seat on either side of me.

"Are you sure about this?" Merry asked.

I nodded and curled her hand into mine.

Herrik was the only one I ever felt comfortable sharing myself with this way and I naturally resisted their efforts to view my memories. Then Merry squeezed my hand reassuringly and I relaxed and let the cloak fall from my thoughts. For several minutes, the three of them sifted through all the images of Haeven and the people who lived there that I had locked away inside my mind.

At one point, I sensed someone trying to get a closer look at my more intimate memories and I abruptly pulled back breaking the link. I was sure it wasn't Merry but otherwise couldn't tell if it had been Colin or Finn who was the culprit.

"I'm sorry," I whispered when I realized what had happened. "It's been a while since I've done anything like this and it's just a little too much for me," I rubbed at my temples. "Is there somewhere I can go to freshen up?" I asked.

Merry glanced up and smiled softly, expressively, "Sure. I'll show you."

As she led me away, I thought she looked disappointed somehow and considered several ways to ask why.

"I feel like I should apologize."

"Oh, why's that?" I asked.

"I couldn't tell if it was Colin or Finn but one of them was getting too aggressive with their probing."

"You felt it, too?"

Merry nodded, "I'm sure it was nothing. Here," she stopped in front of an open door and flipped a switch.

When I finished, I found Merry waiting for me a few steps from where she left me. She waved me over and together we went back to the living area. Colin was still there but Finn had gone off to do something on his own.

"I always wondered where Daemon got the idea for this," Colin thoughtfully stated once we were back. "It's not quite as grand as Haeven but it's a nice place to hang your hat."

"It is," I said and smiled. "Do you think any of what I told you will be useful?"

"You mean other than that you would give your life for your brother, that Herrik is a great man and Haeven is absolutely worth saving?"

I smiled full of pride.

"Actually, we learned quite a few things. The problem with your information, though, is that it's old. I'm sure there have been a few changes. If we compare your details with Avery's and hopefully Artur's maybe they'll be able to help us figure out where it's likely those changes were made."

"Well, I'm glad it wasn't completely useless."

"Not at all. At the very least we have an idea, now, of how many people we are likely to face if we manage to get inside." Then he gave an awkward chuckle, "I really hope you chose your friends well!"

Hearing his words made me wonder. There were so many people besides Herrik and Penny that must have gotten left behind and I shuddered at the idea of them all being under Freya's control.

"And what about all the humans? What became of them?" I wondered but didn't dare offer myself any answers. A swell of tears threatened to spill from my eyes and I anxiously blinked them away.

"Hey, don't think like that. We'll save them and Haeven, too," he glanced at Merry who nodded her agreement.

I tried to mirror their optimism but I'm sure I didn't succeed. Thankfully, Ares decided it was a good time to interrupt us and begged Colin to feed him again.

The night wore on and though Merry and Colin did their best to keep me entertained my thoughts kept drifting back to Daemon, Avery and the others. Every time I thought I heard the elevator my heart would leap with the anticipation of seeing them all returning safely and with any luck, successfully.

I tried eating again when Merry offered to fix me another tray and while I nibbled she and Colin told me various bits and pieces about themselves and their lives with Daemon. Their stories made me realize how very much like his father he was. Though Daemon wasn't trying to accomplish the same things, he seemed to inspire the same love and devotion Herrik had always managed to inspire.

Eventually their stock of anecdotes ran low and they turned from offering information to asking for some.

"So, how did you end up in Haeven, anyway? I'm not sure whether Daemon knew but if he did, he never told us the story." Colin looked hopeful as his words died off and so did Merry but she obviously felt Colin's question might have crossed the line.

"The night I met Daemon he was badly hurt. He was hiding in the crawlspace beneath my house. I found him there and I knew he needed help and I...I willingly offered to do whatever I could. I don't know who or why," I lied, "but someone was after Daemon. Whoever it was, they were desperate enough that they wouldn't hesitate killing anyone who got in the way of finding him. When Herrik learned what I had done for Daemon and realized I might be in danger he had someone bring me to Haeven and I lived there ever since."

"How did you escape?"

Merry rolled her eyes at Colin but I didn't see the harm in answering.

"I...I didn't. When the council was over and Herrik's fate seemed inevitable, Artur came and...he...he did something that knocked all but the strongest vampires out. He and Avery grabbed me and Herrik then they forced us into the elevator. There wasn't enough room for all of us and Herrik...he...leapt out and pushed Artur in...he sacrificed himself so we could all get away. I tried...I wanted to stay and fight but..."

"Oh," Colin's eyes went away for a moment, "he was in love with you. You were in love with him! The two of you were in love! Did you ever..."

This time Merry didn't hesitate, "Colin!" she cuffed his shoulder.

"Sorry...I just thought...you know...I'm single, you're single...are you single?" I wasn't sure if he was being serious or just trying to make light of his recent remarks.

Merry didn't seem to have any doubts, "Jesus, Colin! This is hardly the time!"

"Hey! You can't blame a guy for trying."

I laughed at them both. "It's alright. I do love Herrik. I always have."

Neither of them seemed to have much to say after my confession and it made me wonder if I'd made them uncomfortable. I wanted to ask if they disapproved somehow but I didn't have the courage. When we finally started talking again, Colin was the first to venture a word or two.

"Well, it's getting late and I have a few things I need to do before morning," he said. "I'm sure Daemon will be back any moment now. Do you mind if I take off?" Colin laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Not at all. Thank you for sitting with me so long," I smiled up at him.

After he left Merry stood up as well. "Colin's right. It is getting late."

"Oh," I suddenly realized what was wrong with each of them. They had put their own needs aside and spent almost the entire night with me. "I understand," I assured her.

"Is there anything you need before I go?"

"No. I think I'll take Ares out for a minute then try getting a little rest," I yawned and stretched. Ares perked up when he heard his name and came over hoping to discover why.

"Maybe I should come with you," Merry said though she looked somewhat hesitant. "Daemon didn't want you to leave the building."

Finn was walking by as she said it, "I can take her," he offered.

He seemed to appear from nowhere but either Merry didn't find anything unusual with it or she was too eager to get away to notice. She gratefully accepted his offer. "Oh, thanks, Finn," and said goodnight to us.

I was somewhat hesitant but didn't see the harm since Ares would be with me.

"So, they haven't gotten back yet, huh?" Finn asked as we got on the elevator.

"No," I sighed, "and as far as I can tell no one has heard from them either."

"Well, you shouldn't worry. This wouldn't be the first time one of us has had to spend a day out there," he waved his arm.

"Yeah," I sighed and offered Finn a weary smile. "It's just hard not knowing."

Once we were outside, we let Ares wander off to take care of whatever business he had. While we waited for him to return Finn tried apologizing. He said he was sorry for being so persistent with his questioning while we were all talking about Haeven and who might still be there.

"It's no big deal," I assured him.

"I guess I'm just apprehensive about getting involved in all of this, for Davit, for myself and all the people we share our lives with here."

"That's perfectly understandable," I did my best to sound sympathetic.

"And even if we don't go with Daemon when he tries to rescue his father and your brother," his voice changed and Finn's demeanor did an odd shift. "If he fails, we all fail. Once she finds out about us, Freya and her people, they will come after us, won't they? She'll kill us...kill all of us for helping you and Daemon!"

"What are you saying, Finn?"

"What am I saying!? What I'm saying is that I can't...I won't let that happen!" he lunged for me.

When I woke up I found myself slumped over with the side of my head pressed firmly against the passenger window of a car. The sun was just peeking over the horizon and I could barely lift my head to see it I was so weak. I tried sitting up but when I did I realized that Finn had bound my hands and feet with what appeared to be the seat belt.

"Awake, are we?" he chuckled. He reached over and grabbed a handful of fabric from my shirtsleeve and wrested me upright.

"Oh, God, Finn! What are you doing?"

"Just protecting my self-interests."

"Whatever you're planning it won't work," I said calmly, decisively.

"I'll take my chances. Your friend Carah seemed to think giving you to Freya was worth the risk. I'm sure it won't matter whether you come from her or from me."

"And what do you expect to get in return?"

"A free pass for me and Davit when Daemon tries to take Haeven."

I shook my head, "She might make a deal with you but you're sadly mistaken if you believe Freya will honor any agreements she makes." Finn didn't respond and after a few moments I confidently added, "She'll kill you the moment you hand me over." He looked unnerved by my assertiveness. "You didn't think this through, did you? Well, at this point you only have two options; you can either take your chances with Freya or hope Daemon will forgive you. For what it's worth, I'd put my faith in Daemon if I were you."

Finn clenched his jaw but didn't make any retorts. Shortly after our conversation he parked the car and ushered me into a non-descript, cottage style home. It was too late for Finn to take me to Freya right away so he locked me in a closet and there I spent the day. I struggled to escape my bonds and called out every half hour or so hoping a passerby would hear me. Wherever we were, though, it must have been remote. There were no sounds from traffic or any other common, suburban noises, just the occasional bird call and a creak or two from the otherwise silent house.

I did my best to stay alert but dozed off more than once. I was hungry and thirsty and my muscles ached from being unable to stand and stretch them for so long. After a while I began to wish Finn would come back so I would have a chance to move for a moment. It seemed like an eternity before the sliver of light that shone through the crack beneath the door became a shadow again.

Soon after the sun went down Finn returned. Without a word, he dragged me to my feet and shoved me towards the open doorway. Apparently, he was in a hurry and more determined than ever to go through with his plan. After he took the wheel he seized my wrist, "Show me where to go!"

"I don't know the way," I confessed.

"Yes, but you've seen it! Now show me or I'll force it from you if that's what you'd prefer!"

I reluctantly opened my mind and shared the images of the many drives to and from Haeven on the occasions I had been out with Herrik. He looked satisfied and nodded. Finn started the car and got us on our way again.

It seemed to take much longer than I would have expected. Finn grew more and more annoyed as the hours passed. He stopped several times to take another look at my memories. At one point, he got so annoyed I thought he would break my wrist when he couldn't learn anything new.

"I'm sure Freya would prefer me in one piece," I growled when the pressure of his fingers grew close to unbearable.

"Fuck!" he screamed and punched the steering wheel with clenched fists. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

He muffled his anger and started driving again. Before long I recognized my surroundings as they zipped by and knew we were near the access road that would bring us to the compound.

"We're close," I mumbled hoping to soothe him further.

I tried hard not to panic as I considered my circumstances. There was nothing I could do to prevent Finn from following through with his intentions. I told Daemon Freya would not kill me right away, that she would need to gloat, and all I could do was pray I was right.

"Oh, Herrik!" my mind whispered. "How has it come to this? If there is anything left of you, if you can hear me," I concentrated, "I still love you. No matter what happens, I will always love you."

I saw the gates rising up and the number of guards stationed in front of them surprised me. Everything looked so different from what I remembered. No one had bothered to clear the foliage away and the new growth seemed about to overwhelm the narrow road that led into the garage.

"Say one word and I will end this now, understood?"

I nodded.

Finn pulled to a stop in front of the guards. Though some light filtered through from the garage, it was too dim to make out any details. I wondered who the guards were and if I knew any of them or if they would recognize me. I kept waiting for something to go wrong, for Finn's plan to prove utterly in vain. Nothing unexpected happened though. After a brief conversation explaining who he was and what he was doing there, the sentry told Finn to wait and stepped away. Finn's eyes shifted nervously from guard to guard while they verified what they should do.

Several minutes later the gates slid back and they waved us through. The guard directed Finn to a parking space near the elevator where two more guards were waiting, presumably to take us to Freya. It seemed so strange being in the compound. It should have been a happy occasion for me to be in my adopted home again. I wondered if I would see any of my friends or acquaintances who might still be living there.

Then there was the possibility of seeing Herrik.

It made me terribly nervous and anxious as we shuffled along the hallway. While we walked I glanced first at one then the other of the guards hoping to get a sense of who they were. For a moment, I thought I recognized the second and that he recognized me. He seemed to be treating me much more gently than the other but I wasn't thinking clearly enough to wonder why.

We rode in silence all the way down to the garden level where Herrik's and my old apartments were. The first of the guards took me by the elbow and the second nudged Finn in the right direction. As I expected they led us down the hallway towards Herrik's apartment.

I looked around eager to see all my favorite and familiar things but a wave of disappointment washed over me when I noticed it was all slowly going to ruin. The floors that once gleamed were dull and dirty and so were the chairs, tables and other accent pieces along the way. They all seemed to be resting under a thick layer of dust and littered with various bits of debris.

The once brightly lit hallway was dreary as well. I guessed that no one bothered to replace the bulbs if they blew out. The ones still working cast an eerie rather than a welcoming glow. The offices and common rooms were all dark but I imagined them to be in similar disrepair.

My face fell as I took everything in. It broke my heart to see the majesty of Haeven veiled beneath a layer of filth. Though I feared the worst for the garden and vowed not to look as we went by I couldn't help turning my eyes towards it. It was certainly not the lush, inviting and well-manicured retreat it had once been. Now it looked like a chaotic jungle of untamed growth.

As we neared the door to Herrik's apartment I remembered why I was there and all my sadness turned to fear. There was a keypad outside the door which had not been there before. One of the guards pressed the buzzer to let whoever was beyond know we were there and seconds later the latch clicked and the door shoved wide.

The dilapidation overcame me again but the guards were suddenly as anxious as I was and they hurried us towards the council chamber. It made me curious and I wondered if they feared their new mistress as much as I did. They seemed as if they couldn't wait to be done with their duty and escape her presence.

Once we were in the council chamber, I noticed the magnificent oval table was missing. In its place stood a make-shift dais with one of Herrik's antique wing chairs as the centerpiece. There were various plants and vases hemming it in to make it look like a throne. A long oriental-style runner led up to it. Four armed guards stood on either side of the carpet and sitting in the chair was Freya. To her right and a foot or so behind her stood Herrik.

I tried to stop and hold my ground and so did Finn. He suddenly realized I might have been right and he hadn't thought things through well enough. The guards forced us forward as Freya gazed down at us from her perch. Her expression was absolutely unreadable. I had expected to see her triumph clearly written in her eyes but if it was there, it was indistinguishable. Trembling, I gazed up at Herrik but he just stood there like an imposing statue; devoid of life, devoid of emotion.

Freya cocked her head at me and smiled. I wasn't sure what to make of it until she glanced over her shoulder. Then someone moved from the shadows and stepped into the empty space to her left.

"Welcome home, Emily," Artur said. "We've missed you."

## Chapter 23

I didn't want to believe it! It couldn't be possible. Avery, Daemon and the others had been so sure they knew where Artur was but they must have been wrong. "How could they have been wrong?" I wondered. "Or...oh, no...did they find him..." I glanced up at Artur, "did he realize they were coming for him? Was he waiting? Did he kill them?" my thoughts came one after another.

There was no way for me to know. After he came forward and spoke Artur stood there, very much like Herrik, expressionless, emotionless. My mouth fell open, my disbelief written clearly in my face.

"You look surprised and a touch...disappointed," Freya stood up.

She moved towards me and though my impulse was to run and hide, I felt paralyzed. I couldn't turn myself or even just my gaze away I was so stricken by her as she approached. When she was near enough Freya took my chin in the tips of her fingers and peered into my eyes. I covered up everything in my mind with a frantic determination.

"Still up to your old tricks, huh? No matter, if I wanted your thoughts I'd simply take them," she bared her fangs at me. Then her lips twitched into a smile. Freya eyed me for a moment and shrugged, "Another time, perhaps. It's not as though you'll be able to cause much harm at this point, since you're so sorely at a loss for friends and allies." She glanced from Artur to Herrik then turned back and looked meaningfully at the marks Finn had left on my neck. "Poor, Emily," her voice feigned.

Almost as soon as she said it she frowned and turned her gaze back to Herrik. I wondered if they shared some secret exchange or if she was simply trying to get a sense of whatever he might have been thinking or feeling. After taking a deep breath, she lifted her chin and shifted her attention to Finn.

"What was it you wanted in return for bringing me this sweet gift?" her smile flashed, full of false charm.

"D...Davit," Finn mumbled. "I want you to..."

Freya interrupted him before he finished, "Oh, yes...Davit," she motioned to one of the guards who hurried off.

Finn tried speaking again but Freya held her hand up and his mouth snapped shut.

There were several moments of confusion as we waited for Freya to make whatever point she was trying to make. While she dealt with Finn, I looked longingly from Artur to Herrik and wished there was some way to break whatever hold Freya apparently had on each of them. I couldn't keep my eyes on Herrik for very long. I was afraid that if I did, I might have an uncontrollable emotional outburst and in desperation launch myself at him heedless of the consequences.

But Artur.

The longer I looked at him the less inanimate he seemed. Artur didn't appear to have the same aura of stupefaction that Herrik possessed. His eyes were so unusual and unless you knew him well, Artur was impossible to read. I felt like there was something there, though; something different as I glanced from one to the other.

"It's the dim light!" I assured myself and refused to believe it.

We heard the guard Freya had sent off returning and I forgot my foolish hopes when I realized there was someone with him. A great deal of protest and cursing preceded as they approached and while I strained my eyes and ears I soon learned why. There were two guards now and each had a hold of Davit's feet and were dragging Davit along behind them. There were thick shackles circling his wrists. As I looked closely, I noticed the cuffs had vicious barbs wrought into them. Despite the obvious pain and discomfort they caused, Davit fought them every step of the way.

"Fucking cowards!" he bellowed. "Take these off and I'll show you what I think of your shit-forsaken little coven of whore-worshippers!"

Freya shook her head disappointedly, "Stand him up."

As soon as he was on his feet Davit caught sight of Finn. "You! You son of a bitch!" he lunged away from the guards and tried wrapping his chains around Finn's neck. "I trusted you! I loved you! You worthless piece of shit! I can't believe you betrayed us all like this!"

Finn opened his mouth to explain but Davit launched a projectile of spittle at him. Tearful and ashamed Finn turned away as the barrage of insults continued.

"Enough!" Freya commanded. "Why don't you two run along and settle your lover's quarrel in private?"

As soon as the words came out of her mouth two new guards seized Finn. He tried fighting himself free but a moment later he, too, found himself shackled. Then Davit and Finn had their knees knocked out from under them and they both left the same way Davit had come. A spasm of satisfaction washed over me when I realized I had been right about Freya and that she had no intention of striking or honoring any deals.

"Now, then," Freya sighed melodramatically as she played at being exhausted from her confrontation with Finn. "We've had quite a few unexpected guests these past two nights. Herrik and I are finding ourselves very much at a loss for ideas as to how to entertain them all. Although," she eyed Herrik appreciatively while my stomach turned with anger and revulsion, "we don't seem to have any trouble entertaining one another."

Herrik took a step towards her then another. On the third he appeared to stumble and I saw a flash of anger raging in Freya's eyes. He slowly, "Reluctantly," I wondered, knelt down in front of her. She took his face in her hands as he gazed up at her longingly. Herrik seemed to have no will but Freya's and when she pressed her lips to his, he wrapped his arms around her waist and passionately kissed her back.

Freya pulled away and Herrik laid his head against her thigh while she stroked his hair as if she was comforting a lost child. It was devastating to witness and my soul seemed to crumble when I realized the depth of the power she held over him.

"Herrik?!" I whispered in heartbreak and disbelief, his name coming out in an airy tremor.

"Now what was I saying...ah, yes...entertaining. Carah...Davit...Finn...Evan...hmm...who else? I seem to have forgotten though I'm sure there was someone else...a Mary or some other horrid name of the sort. She was with a striking fellow named..."

"Wyatt," Artur offered.

"Yes, that's it!" she glanced over her shoulder, "Thank you, Artur. Anyway, Herrik and I," she gazed lovingly down at him, "would like to know if we should expect anyone else to drop on by. It would be a pity if we made our plans and we left anyone out."

"There's no one else," I mumbled.

"Are you sure?"

Artur shifted his eyes to mine. I felt like he was imploring me but whether it was to say something or to say nothing I honestly didn't know.

"Humph," Freya sounded her disbelief when I didn't say anything more. "Artur," she called and nodded him towards me.

He came forward and the guards seized me by my elbows so I wouldn't attempt to avoid his touch. I clung to everything in my mind and didn't dare share with a fierce resolve. It was no use though, when he laid his hand across my forehead my thoughts erupted in a spasm of agony. I screamed as I fell to my knees in a torrent of pain and utter defeat.

Artur stepped back and turned to Freya, "There's no one else," he definitively stated.

His words didn't register I was so disoriented by the throbbing ache that made my head feel as if it was ready to implode. To Freya the pain he caused and my lack of response seemed like an absolute confirmation of Artur's words.

She smiled in satisfaction. "Take her!" she commanded.

The guards jostled me back to my feet before I realized what she had said. "No...NO!" I screamed. "Where's Evan? What have you done to Merry? Herrik! Please, please," I begged. "I love you!" I sobbed even as I realized the futility of my words.

Freya laughed at my outburst, her sneer showing precisely how useless she knew my struggles would prove to be.

Artur's rich voice echoed in my mind, "Save you strength, Emily."

"What..." I started to ask not fully understanding what had happened. "What are you going to do with me? Where are you taking me?" I shouted to Freya hoping to cover my confusion as they dragged me away.

"All in good time, Emily...all in good time," she called after me. She bent down and coiled herself around Herrik before kissing him again.

They walked me back the way we had come; out of Herrik's apartment and towards the garden. Something seemed to be unnerving the guards as we walked. I couldn't put my finger on it but they kept glancing over their shoulders. When we neared the garden wall they tried peering through the condensation and into the darkness of the dense foliage. I sensed it, too, and wondered if it was just an instinctive fear of what could not be seen or if there was something more to it than that.

We hurried by before I made up my mind and from there they took me to a part of the compound I had never been. There used to be several levels of dorms for people transitioning into or out of Haeven. Each of the small rooms once featured a kitchenette, a living/sleeping area and a bathroom. The rooms no longer held any furniture or appliances and replacing the standard doors were metal ones. The doors were locked shut with a heavy bolt but there was a small barred window that allowed the guards to see inside.

We went by several rooms and though I tried glancing in each one they were all dark. It was impossible for me to see whether anyone might be locked behind the doors. If Evan or any of the others were still alive, I guessed this was where they would be.

"Evan!" I called out. "Merry?"

"Emily?" Evan anxiously answered. He came to one of the windows and gripped the steel bars as he peered through. "Oh, God! Oh, no! Emily, no...not you, too!"

I wondered how much he knew. The guards stopped in front of his cell. Apparently, we were going to be confined together.

"Step back!" one of the guards growled at Evan, "And don't do anything stupid!"

For a moment, it looked like Evan might defy the guard, "Please, just do what he says, Evan." I encouraged him.

He stepped back and I was sure it was more out of concern for me than for himself. The guard unlocked the door, shoved me roughly in and slammed it closed behind me. I stumbled into Evan who threw his arms around and hugged me close.

"I'm so sorry, Emily! This is all my fault. What was I thinking? I can't believe what an idiot I was, falling for someone like Sarah!" He pulled back and grabbed me by my shoulders, "Did they hurt you? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Evan," and looking into his eyes I nearly cried from all the shame and guilt I felt.

"What's wrong, Em? Are you sure they didn't hurt you?"

I choked back a few tears, "It's not your fault. None of this is your fault," I bit my lip, "it's mine. I'm the reason you're here," I sniffled.

"What? What are you saying, Emily? Don't be ridiculous?" he laughed awkwardly until he saw the seriousness of my expression.

"This is where I was for all those years. This is where I lived, this was my home."

So many emotions warred in his expression that it was impossible for me to guess what he was thinking.

"No," he shook his head. "That can't be true. You're...you're not one of them."

"No, I'm not," I admitted, "but neither were half the others that lived here, either."

"There were others?"

I took a deep breath, "It was never like this. It was beautiful and friendly and a refuge for many, many people. Not just people like Carah but people like you and me."

"Carah? Is that her name?"

"Come," I took Evan's hand, "We may not have much time but I will tell you everything I can."

I led him to one of the walls and together we sat down with our legs stretched out in front of us. For the next couple of hours, I told him everything I could of the story from beginning to end. When I finished and had answered as many of his questions as I safely could he turned to me, "How...how can any of this be real?"

"It's...I know it's hard to believe."

"Hard? Try impossible! And you talk about this Herrik as if...as if you are in love with him."

My heart withered.

"Good God! You are! You're in love with a monster, you realize that, don't you? He's just like Sar...Carah!"

"No! NO!" I shook my head vehemently, "Herrik is not a monster! He is the most incredible man I have ever met. He is intelligent and kind and loving...you can't imagine how...self-sacrificing and honorable he is! You don't know him like I do!"

"I know enough! He's one of them and they are killers! They are all killers every last one of them!" he stood up and paced angrily.

"You don't understand," I implored.

"He's done something to you, hasn't he?! That's it!" he stopped in his tracks. "Just like Carah did to me. You're not really in love with him."

"No, Evan. He hasn't. Herrik would never do that. He loves me and I love him."

"If he loves you the way you say he does, then why are you here, locked up and about to be..." He curled his fist to his lips and didn't finish the thought.

For a millisecond, I questioned whether Evan was right. "He...he...Freya..." I couldn't find the words to explain what had happened to Herrik.

Evan held his hand up, refusing to listen to anything I had to say. "We've got to find a way out of here," he said. "Once we're out, we can go to the police and let them deal with this!"

"There's no way out, Evan," someone called from one of the rooms across from ours.

"Carah!" it took me a moment but I recognized her voice.

"And for your information Herrik does love her," she asserted. "You'd better pray that he remembers just how much before Freya makes up her mind what to do with all of us."

When she finished the statement Carah's laughter rang out cold and sinister and it seemed to echo throughout the entire level.

"Oh...Shuddd up you bitch!"

"Wyatt?! Is that you? Is Merry with you?" my heart leapt as soon as I realized we weren't the only ones imprisoned on our floor.

"Yep, I'm here," I could hear the smile in her voice.

A moment later someone else chimed in, "What! Is no one going to welcome us to the party?!"

I moved to the window, "Colin?"

He didn't answer but I heard him chuckling then Ares' distinctive barking coming from across the hall. I looked in the direction of the sound and saw both their faces in the window of the cell directly across from mine.

"Colin! How could you?! I told you not to bring Ares. I can't believe let him be captured!"

Carah guffawed, "All those lessons with Artur and you still have no power of deduction, do you? They let themselves get caught, you idiot! So, they could rescue you!"

"Bingo!" Colin replied. "Now, if I could just figure out this lock."

Carah came to her window. She was in the cell directly to the right of Colin's. She interrupted his efforts, "It would be easier if you and I worked together."

Colin stopped what he was doing and everyone grew unnaturally quiet. Letting Carah help us was the last thing any of us wanted and if we made the bargain Colin would have to release her, too.

"No!" Evan voiced his opinion first.

"There's no fucking way she can be trusted," Wyatt added.

"I don't see that we have a choice," Merry muttered and Colin reluctantly agreed as he took up the fight with his lock again.

"I think it's up to you to decide, Emily. Fuck," Colin glanced down the hall towards the elevator. I couldn't see it myself but I guessed he was looking at the panel and that someone was in the elevator on their way up. "Well, what's it gonna be?" he looked across at me.

"Merry can you open the other locks once Colin is free?"

"I think," she began, "yes! I can do it."

"Let Carah help," I said, "but open her cell last."

Carah grumbled but grudgingly agreed. From there it only took a matter of seconds for them to release the lock. Once he escaped Colin went straight for Merry's door then to mine and Evan's. When they came to Carah's, Evan grabbed Colin's arm.

"We should leave her...God knows she deserves much worse," he hissed.

They both turned to me and for half a moment I stood there considering the possibility of betraying Carah.

"Oh, but it wouldn't be just me you're leaving behind!" she held someone's face up to the bars.

"Penny!" I cried out.

She was clearly unconscious and her face and neck looked badly bruised. There were puncture wounds on her throat and by the look of them the injuries were fairly recent.

"I'll kill you myself!" I lunged forward and seized the bars challengingly.

The elevator rang out signaling it had reached our floor. The sound distracted me from my anger and we collectively whirled to face whatever threat would be stepping from the car as the doors slid back. All I saw was a blur as something or someone whizzed by us. Carah seemed to vanish as she flew back against the wall of her cell. Daemon ripped her door from its hinges while we watched in fascinated horror. As he stood in the threshold, he raised his arm. There was a bright flash and a loud crack and before any of us made any sense of what had happened, he kicked Carah's lifeless body from the cell.

"Penny," I heard the agony in Daemon's voice. "Penny?" he called again.

I moved to the open doorway and looked in. "No!" I cried as Daemon gathered her up into his arms. I was sure she was dead but then I heard her moan and weakly mumble his name.

"She'll never make it," Avery stated when he saw her. Without hesitation, he opened a vein on his wrist and held it out to Daemon. "If you won't do it, I will!" his voice cracked.

Daemon shook his head no but we all knew there was no way he could refuse Avery's offer. He met each of our eyes as if he was searching for approval. I nodded yes and watched as Daemon knelt down and Avery moved to let the open wound weep past her parted lips. Drop after drop fell and for a moment it seemed like it was too late. She lay lifeless in Daemon's arms but suddenly she gasped and her eyes opened wide.

Her body went into a violent spasm before it slowly shuddered into stillness. Afterwards Penny curled herself into Daemon's chest while he cried into her hair. It was incredible to witness, I thought I could actually see Avery's blood coursing through her and reanimating her body from the inside out. One moment she lay weak, wounded and dying in Daemon's arms, the next she was standing beside him confused yet unblemished from head to toe.

When I looked at Avery, he seemed to be trembling with grief and sorrow. I took his hand, "I'm sorry," I mumbled. He lowered his head, gave my hand a squeeze but didn't say anything other than, "We need to go!"

When he looked up, there wasn't any trace of whatever he had or had not been feeling. He motioned us to hurry into the waiting car.

We all crowded in, "I'll make sure you're not followed," Avery called to Daemon.

"No. Wait. No! Avery!" I cried out when I realized he wasn't coming with us.

"Aww, fuck! I'll stay, too!" Wyatt jumped out. "We'll see you topside!" his face was bright and confident.

Merry tried forcing her way out, desperate to stay with Wyatt but the doors slid closed before she reached them. The elevator lurched slowly upwards. We made it several stories before the lights began to flicker and the car seemed to grind to a halt between two floors.

"Shit!" Colin cursed.

We heard someone hammering on the doors and trying to pry them open.

"We need to climb," Daemon lifted his eyes to the roof of the elevator and told us all to step back.

Together he and Colin jumped up, once, twice then finally they pounded enough of the ceiling open for Merry to squeeze through. One by one Colin and Daemon handed us up through the rough breach they had made while the elevator door inched wider and wider. Ares barked wildly and snapped his jaws through the narrow gap.

Colin handed Evan up before urging Daemon to go next. Once Daemon was through Colin and Ares were the only ones left in the elevator. The door was spread wide enough to see out and down to the floor below.

"Colin, get Ares and get up here!" I screamed. Even as I said it I knew there was no way he'd be able to get Ares and himself through the hole he and Daemon had made.

Colin glanced up and saluted us, "See you topside!" he mimicked Wyatt's voice and words then urged Ares to jump through the open doorway with him.

Merry seized me against my vehement protests and started climbing up the ropy wire that held the elevator in the shaft. Penny, followed directly behind us then Daemon with Evan on his back. As Merry carried me upwards the devastating ferocity of the fight below echoed along the shaft. My eyes flooded with tears as I strained my ears and listened to the unmistakable sound of Ares being hurt over and over again.

It soon died away and I had no idea whether the fight was over or if we had just climbed out of my range of hearing. Merry suddenly stopped.

"Someone's coming down from above," she exclaimed.

"Go back!" Daemon said. "Two floors down - there's a ventilation shaft."

He loosened his grip and slid down while Penny and Merry did the same. Daemon took Evan's hands and swung him twice to get the right momentum then flung him into the duct. Merry chucked me in a second afterwards. A moment later Penny launched herself after us and Merry immediately followed her.

"I'll hold them off! Don't look back and don't stop moving!" We all stared at Daemon in disbelief, unable to obey. "Go, God damn it! Go!"

Suddenly, all my hope faded and my mind went blank. I let Merry drag me away knowing it would be useless to fight and imagining that it wouldn't matter, anyway. We would all be caught. We were all going to die. I had dragged nearly everyone I loved into a situation none of them would escape.

Minutes later, I found myself on the grassy plateau at the summit of the canyon. I had no idea how we had gotten there but Merry was dragging me to my feet and shaking me by the shoulders.

"Emily! Emily!"

My guilt consumed me, "I killed them all!" I shook my head hoping to clear it. There was something more to it than my regret and disbelief, though.

"Snap out of it!" Merry slapped me.

My body recoiled but my mind slipped further away from me. I spun around and around. Evan, and Penny and Merry stood watching me in confusion. I saw the faint outline for the hidden door that led down to Herrik's private elevator and instantly knew it was where I needed to be. I started to walk away from them.

"What is she doing?" Evan yelled. He tried coming after me but only took a single step before his legs gave out and he fell to the ground.

Merry bent over and offered a hand to help him back to his feet but she, too, found herself stumbling to the ground and unable to move. The door sprung open and as it did Penny collapsed as well. The three of them lay there staring up into the night sky while I continued walking towards the hidden chamber. Then a figure appeared, slowly stepping up from the hidden doorway onto the grassy plain.

"Herrik!" my heart soared.

It took me a moment to realize he wasn't alone. Freya moved from behind him, "Well," she breathed, "Daemon's little rebellion has failed and his attempt to save you and those," she pointed, "pitiful souls as well. It's over Emily. Come. Come to me and I'll let them live. Give me your life and I'll give you all of theirs!"

My eyes darted back and forth between Freya and Herrik. I glanced over my shoulder to where my brother, Penny and Merry lay and immediately made up my mind. I turned back, took a deep breath and resumed walking towards Freya and Herrik.

When I was a step or two away from them, however, Artur's voice reached out to me, "Emily! No!"

The sound of it seemed to be everywhere at once, echoing across the field. Freya fretfully searched for him but before she managed to locate him Artur was on her. While she attempted to defend herself, she released the hold she had on Evan and the others. Merry and Penny bound to their feet and were about to join the fray and help Artur but Herrik seized me.

"Interfere and she dies!"

He was touching me, holding me... "Oh," I sighed and opened my mind to him. I tried to show him how much I loved him, to make him remember how much we had been through. I wanted him to see that I hadn't forgotten. "Herrik!" I whispered as I assured him that I was still a part of him, would always be a part of him.

He shuddered, momentarily releasing me. "Lies! You don't love me! You never loved me!" He fell to his knees in agony. "You left me! You hated me!" He wailed. "You think I'm a monster!"

He flooded my mind with images, memories of the horrible things I had said to him when I first came to Haeven.

"Then, I guess you know exactly how much I hate you and everything about you!"

I remembered confronting him when he told me I wouldn't be able to leave.

"No," I cried. "I didn't mean it. It wasn't true. I...I didn't know...you..."

"This will never be my home! Don't...want...to be...like you..."

Again, my own words. They filled my head and it was impossible to escape them. His mind kept insisting that I was lying...that I never cared for him the way he cared for me. My voice, my words...they tortured Herrik and tormented me. I felt all over again the horrific desperation I felt when I first came to Haeven and thought it would be impossible to live in such a strange, unnatural world.

"Impossible to live...shouldn't live," I thought and my mind ignored everything else going on around me.

Artur...Freya...Merry...Penny...Evan...even Herrik. None of it mattered any more. He didn't love me, didn't believe that I loved him.

I turned and ran towards the boulder I sat on all those years ago. This time no one prevented me from doing what Herrik had prevented me from doing then.

## Chapter 24

It seemed like hundreds of voices cried out to me at all once before fading into nothingness. Afterwards the only thing I heard was the sound of the wind rushing past my ears as I fell faster and faster. I wasn't afraid as I plummeted towards the ravine at the bottom of the canyon. It relieved me. I knew it would all be over soon and I would never have to feel anything again.

I closed my eyes when I could finally make out the ground. It appeared to loom up beneath me and a moment later I felt the crushing impact of my body hitting the earth. Surprisingly, the pain didn't go away, at least not the emotional pain. I couldn't feel anything, there was nothing, no sensation anywhere in my body other than the heartbreak that had brought me to where lay.

A moment after the impact I heard a loud thump and the sound of the rough foliage being crushed underfoot. I couldn't believe I heard it; that I was actually still alive. It seemed impossible.

"Herrik?" I tried calling his name but the only sound that came out was an indistinguishable gurgling.

He peered into my eyes, shocked into understanding by my desperation. A second thud shuddered the ground right behind him while he was kneeling down beside me. Someone grabbed Herrik's shoulder and yanked him away.

Seconds later others came, I heard them falling and landing one after another. They stood protectively all around me. I had no idea who was who, though. It was too dark to see and my vision seemed to come and go in blurry pulses.

"Take her! Keep her alive! Don't...don't do anything more!" Herrik's voice was insistent but he sounded so unsure.

I tried raising my arm to beckon someone, anyone to come and help me but I couldn't move and despite Herrik's command nobody dared to touch me. It was unexpected but I suddenly realized that I didn't want to die even though I had so obviously ensured I would.

"No," Artur pushed through the small circle. "You won't die, dear Emily. Not today."

He brushed the hair from my face and rolled his sleeve.

"This ends now!" Herrik's voice boomed across the ravine and as he said it Daemon and Avery appeared at his side.

Artur glanced their way then turned back and whispered, "Enough." He pulled his arm away, "Penny," he called out, "you lead. Merry follow us!"

All of a sudden it was excruciating! Artur urged me to sitting and despite what he had given me there was no life in my body or limbs, only pain.

"Ssh," Artur soothed. "I know it hurts, Emily but you must hold on. Hold on for Herrik!" He laid his fingertips on my temple and the world vanished.

We stopped more than once and each time Artur gently roused me, he urged me to take several more drops. Nothing seemed to change for me though. My aches would dwindle but only for a moment then return with a vengeance. If I tried to move my arms or my legs or open my lips to speak it sent a stabbing jolt of agony rippling through every fiber of my body. Either Artur was being too cautious and not giving me enough or my life was too far gone.

Eventually we reached the gates that led to the garage. There weren't any guards but Artur sent Merry and Penny ahead to make sure the way was clear. Artur knelt down in the shadows and stroked my cheek until my eyes fluttered open.

"Try again," he coaxed me.

During the brief release it brought me, I begged him to tell me if what I feared was true.

"Am I going to die?"

I saw his eyes glistening in the dark, "Don't give up," he kissed my forehead.

"Will you tell him...tell him..." I sputtered.

"Ssh, ssh! He knows."

"Go back. Save Herrik. Save Haeven," I pleaded with my eyes.

"No. Not until you are safe."

Just as he said it a car smashed through the gate at full speed. Merry jumped out of the passenger's seat and flung the door open, "Get in!" she commanded.

"Please," I asked again.

Artur gave me a faint nod before he eased me into the backseat. He told Merry to sit with me and showed her where to place her hands to urge me from consciousness.

"You're not coming?" her voice quivered.

He shook his head.

"Where should we go?" Penny asked.

Artur clenched his jaw, "It doesn't matter," he choked the words out. "Make it look like an accident."

"What?!" she screamed. "No!" Penny whirled and faced us.

I could see the understanding as it formed in her eyes. Suddenly she knew, just as surely as Artur and I, that it was too late.

"Then you need to..."

Artur shook his head, "I promised Herrik. He would never forgive me."

"He will never forgive you if you don't!"

"You don't understand! I can't! There's something...something's wrong...It's not helping her...I'm not healing her...It's not healing her. My blood...it won't...work." He sat there silent for several seconds. He had an odd expression.

There were anxious voices coming from behind the broken gate.

"Merry!"

"Wyatt!" she called back.

Davit was with him and together they had someone propped up between their shoulders. They took hurried steps as they shuffled their way toward the car and as soon as he knew for sure, Artur told me they had Evan.

"Put him in the front seat and strap him in."

Wyatt held Evan up while Davit got the door. Afterwards Davit squatted down and gathered Evan's legs by the ankles. With Wyatt's help, they tucked him into the car.

Artur squeezed my hand and kissed my forehead again, "I'll do whatever I can to help him."

"Thank you. Thank you...for everything. You...you've," there were so many things I wanted to tell him; how much I loved him, that he was like a father to me, that of all the people I had ever known, I respected and admired him the most.

"I know," he started to cry. He gave me a few more drops, "Goodbye," he whispered.

"Goodbye, Artur."

I saw him moving away and a moment later he bent over Evan in the passenger's seat. We all understood what he was doing. Penny glanced back and a sad smile crossed her face. Merry stroked my hair pausing only to say a brief farewell to Wyatt. The doors were all closed and the car began slowly rolling down the hill. My eyes fluttered and it seemed like a wave washed all the world into a sea of darkness where it became lost and forgotten.

I caught brief glimpses, flickers of images from time to time. I never fully understood what happened to me or to Evan, or any of the people who helped save us.

"So many lights...why are they all flashing?" I remembered thinking. And perhaps days later, "I know this place. I've been here before."

Other times it was the rhythmic noises, slow, soft steady beeps or a strange whooshing sound like air being sucked in and pushed back out. Once I thought I recognized Evan's hand in mine as he sobbed into my fingertips. At one point, I even imagined that I heard my father's voice telling my mother she needed to accept what had happened and that it was time.

"It's been too long, honey, she's not going to come back. You need to make your peace. We need to let her go."

"Yes," my mind cried, "please let me go."

The rest of the time I only existed in the darkness, the void, the emptiness. It seemed like an eternity before I ever recognized anything again. There was a knock and a woman's voice.

"I'm sorry but there's someone here asking to see your daughter. Should I show him in?"

"Who?" my mother's voice rang out full of concern. "My daughter hardly knows anyone. She...she's been...away for many years. Did he give his name?"

"No, ma'am. But..." she glanced over her shoulder, "he...he seems like a very nice gentleman and..." The woman's voice sounded somewhat confused, "Perhaps you should see for yourself."

I listened to their soft footfalls as they walked away. Minutes later my mom came back and she had what I guessed was the gentleman with her. A strange tapping followed them as they drew near and I couldn't make any sense of what it was at first.

"How do you know Emily?" she asked.

"She was a student of mine."

"Oh, so you knew her before she..." my mother cleared her throat. "It's so nice of you to remember her," she sighed. "I didn't realize there were any bli..." my mom checked what she was about to say, "teachers with impaired vision in her school. I don't recall Emily, or anyone ever mentioning it."

"It is degenerative and has only recently gotten to this point," the man said.

"I'm so sorry. Can I get you anything; I would like some coffee myself," my mother nervously changed the subject.

"That would be lovely. Thank you."

As soon as she left the man took my hand, "Emily," he called, "Emily?" His voice sounded strange; like he wasn't speaking out loud. It almost seemed as though he wasn't there in the room with me but inside me, inside my head.

"Artur!"

"Thank God!" he cried. "I'll come again, soon. I will find a way to...We all thought you...that it was too late!"

"Herrik?"

"Yes! Yes! He did it, Emily! They're all safe but he... Herrik is not the same. He needs you! Oh, Emily! Rest. I'll come back."

His mind drifted away from mine. It saddened me and more than anything I wanted him to stay. The brief exchange helped me, though. It lifted a fraction of the veil that shrouded me from the world beyond my shell of a body.

My father came into the room before my mother returned and found Artur there standing over me.

"Who are you?" he asked full of surprise.

Before he could offer an answer, my mother entered to the room and attempted an introduction, "Oh, this is Mr...Mr..."

"Artur."

"Mr. Artur. He was a teacher of Emily's before..."

Artur held his hand out smiling, "Your daughter was a favorite student of mine and when I learned what happened..." he turned towards me. "Is there any hope?"

My dad shook his head no.

"Such a tragedy. I'm so sorry. If there is anything I can do..."

"There's nothing that can be done!" my father's voice rang out with a touch of anger.

"My apologies," Artur's voice softened, "and my regrets." There was a long moment of silence and neither of my parents knew what to say. "Well, thank you for letting me see her."

As he turned to leave, a shrill beeping filled the room. A nurse rushed in, then another. The physician on duty dashed in a moment afterwards, "Get them out!"

One of the nurses took Artur by the elbow and led him away as my parents followed. He must have waited with them in the lobby until the physician and nurses could stabilize me. When the doctor allowed my parents back into my room, he gave them his diagnosis while Artur stood in the doorway listening.

"Her organs are atrophying."

"What does that mean?"

"They're shutting down. I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do."

"How long?" my father asked.

"A week, two."

"No. NO!" my mother cried out. She fell into my father's arms and wept.

"Perhaps..." Artur cleared his throat and hesitated before he spoke again. "Perhaps, I could make it a little less painful for you. Let me help care for her," he said. "I have resources, a home in the country. It will be like a...a haven compared to this. Please," he implored, "it would mean everything to me."

My parents were dumbfounded and neither answered for a minute.

"It must be... I have been a prudent man and I have no children of my own. I can't think of a better way to..." Artur furthered his offer.

"Yes," my mother sobbed. "Please, I can't bear to watch her die like this."

"I'll do whatever I can," he stepped forward and took her hand, "whatever I can."

A few nights later my mother, father and Evan watched while the doctors and nurses systematically removed all my life supports one by one and replaced them with mobile ones. When they finished, they wheeled me out to the private ambulance Artur had hired to convey me to his country home. Everything went so smoothly; each of my new caretakers seemed to perform their tasks perfectly and with virtually no effort.

It was a very solemn occasion for my family. Each of them was under a great deal of private stress and strain. Though my parents had their own regrets, Evan may have suffered the most. He believed he was solely to blame since we were together when the accident happened.

He kept wondering if he had only done this or that differently or if he had insisted on driving instead of letting me. According to the police investigation, I was behind the wheel when the crash occurred. It seemed to result from a combination of factors that came after I tried to avoid a collision with another driver who had been travelling in the wrong lane.

As they loaded me into the ambulance my father berated himself for not having the courage to refuse Artur's offer. Even though he realized these were my last few days and understood the sincerity and well-meaning of the proposal, he believed I should be going home. That I shouldn't be spending whatever time I had left with strangers.

Artur was very persuasive and so was my mom and Evan. Before he made his decision, my dad insisted on driving them to Artur's home to inspect it firsthand. Once he saw the beauty of the grounds and house itself it didn't take much more convincing. It was so peaceful and picturesque; a miniature heaven on Earth my mom and Evan called it. They insisted that after all I had been through, I deserved the serenity of passing away in such an ethereal environment.

My dad to agreed and let Artur make all the necessary arrangements. He did his best to ensure that the transition was as easy as possible for myself and my family. He had rooms made up for my parents and Evan so they could stay with me night and day. Then he hired a staff to take care of all our needs. The day of the transfer Artur arranged for a car to take them from the hospital to his home and rode with them during the long drive.

"Whenever you're ready, Avery," he called to the driver once my family was all comfortably seated in the back, "the ambulance will follow."

About halfway there the car jostled oddly and Avery pulled it to the side.

"What's wrong?" Artur asked.

"I think we might have a flat tire. Wait here," Avery put the car in park and got out as the ambulance drew up behind him.

"Need a hand?" the driver offered.

Artur had gotten out of the car as well, "No, Wyatt you go on ahead and get Emily settled. We'll be there shortly."

The driver nodded and pulled away. Together Avery and Artur watched the ambulance until it was out of view. Once it had dropped from sight Avery went to one side of the car and Artur to the other. My parents and Evan never had a chance to react, Avery immobilized each of them and held them in place while Artur reconstructed their memories. He went to my mother first and as he pulled away her eyes softly dropped closed.

Afterwards Artur performed the same procedure on my father before turning to my brother.

"You! You!" Evan exclaimed.

"You remember," Artur frowned.

Evan nodded, "I know what you're doing! You're taking her, aren't you? You're taking Emily back to them."

"Not them, Evan...us. Emily belongs with us now. We will care for her, Herrik will care for her. She will never know this kind of pain again and he will love her...love her more than anyone in either of our worlds is ever likely to be loved."

"I know. I know that now but please...please don't take her away from me. Let me remember her. She's my sister and I deserve to love her, too," Evan pleaded.

"I'm sorry. There's too much at stake. Haeven is in a very precarious place right now. Maybe someday but that someday is not today," Artur said with finality.

Miles away Wyatt, Merry and Davit pulled onto a tiny dirt road where they met Daemon, Penny and Colin in a second ambulance. In it there lay a poor, nameless, family-less young woman who, though for very different reasons, would not make it very many more days. Wyatt brought the strange woman to Artur's home and from the moment they arrived my family was under Artur's and the other's influence. They never knew the difference and throughout the final days never imagined it was anyone other than me.

After changing vehicles Daemon, Colin and Penny brought me to Haeven. They pulled into the garage then Daemon and Colin eased my stretcher onto the cement. Together they wheeled me towards the elevator while Penny followed carrying and monitoring all my mobile supports. They brought me to the garden level and rolled me down the hallway where dozens of people were hard at work restoring the passageway and common rooms. As we passed, many paused for a moment and with sad and curious faces peered down at me. We had to stop several times for someone to say a word or two. Others reached out with loving hands and caressed my arm or squeezed my fingertips as we went by.

Eventually we made it to Herrik's apartment. It was cold and dark and seemed as haunted as Herrik looked. He didn't say a word or show any emotion other than sorrow while Daemon and the others transferred me to Herrik's bed. With long looks Penny and Colin quietly slipped away.

Daemon hugged Herrik close, "Love is never something to reject, especially when it's meant to be..." he kissed his father's cheek. "It has a mind of its own and it will always have its way with you, no matter how hard you fight it."

Daemon turned and walked away. Herrik listened to his footfalls then for the sound of the door being tugged closed. He stepped towards me and laid his hand across my forehead.

"Emily...Emily, love. I can't believe it has come to this!"

His voice rippled through me.

"Oh, Herrik!"

"Is this...am I what you truly want?" he asked.

"How could you ever doubt it?"

"You deserve so much more."

"But I want you," my mind whispered. "I love you."

His lips brushed my temple then he wrapped his fingers around mine. I heard him suck in his breath as he reluctantly brought my wrist to his lips. He took as much as he dared. Then Herrik eased the respirator tube from my throat and mouth before gnashing his own wrist and letting his blood flow into me. He let it fall steadily until he grew too weak to give any more.

At first there was only the slightest change. My heart fluttered and my lungs seemed to protest without the help of the life supports.

Herrik held my arm, this time taking just a little more than before. When he gave it back, I was sure I felt it spiraling downwards and spreading throughout me. Each drop seemed to beg and plead with my body not to give up. Herrik must have noticed it, too. He gently tugged all the remaining tubes, wires and monitors and pushed them all away.

His hands glided around my shoulders and he sat me up. He waited an indeterminable amount of time for any more signs, the slightest indication that his efforts may have had a greater effect.

"I don't...I don't understand," he sobbed. "It can't be too late! Oh, but Artur warned me...he said...he was afraid you might be too far gone!" I wasn't sure I was meant to hear his thoughts but I couldn't avoid them. "It isn't...it isn't too late! I love you, Emily. Please come back," his voice urged.

The hopelessness in his voice made me realize that he had never done this. Herrik had regrettably taken lives but he had never given one back. He had received countless pledges from other vampires and decided whether they could make others but had never made one himself.

"Maybe," he said aloud, "maybe..." his voice had a strange, hysterical tenor to it and he seemed to be considering some instinctive urge, some inherent, subliminal knowledge. He clutched my hand to his chest. "Emily," his mind called, "I think you need to let go," he said. "I think it needs to be all or nothing. You need to give me your life. I need you to die for me, Emily."

"N...n..." I wanted so desperately to deny him but somewhere deep down inside I knew he was right. I had to stop fighting.

Herrik sensed my agreement and cautiously lowered his lips to my neck. As they parted, he forced his teeth through the soft flesh covering my throat, gently piercing my skin. My mind and body frantically clung to the life he so seemed so determined to take from me. My blood rose up and bubbled out far too fast for me to hold on, though. For a moment, I sensed the strange ecstasy that seized Herrik as my life ebbed and flowed across his tongue. It was ruthless, the need it created in his body and mind.

His heart roared with a ferocious intensity, it thundered in my ears while mine dwindled in the background. The beats came slower and slower until they were an endless number of seconds apart. Herrik strained to control himself and not let himself be mesmerized beyond the point where he could not stop. He listened for the fateful sound of my heart stuttering into stillness and the last wispy breath escaping from my lungs. My mouth fell open and when my body went limp with lifelessness Herrik howled manically knowing the finality of what he had done.

He laid me down and through his haze of tears, Herrik slashed his wrist again before cradling my head to the open wound. Minutes later there was still no change and while he wept and prayed Herrik's confidence began to crumble.

My mind seemed to awaken first. It was so cold, I felt so cold! When my fingers twitched Herrik unbowed his head and he saw the first little tremors of color spreading across my skin.

"Emily!" he cried out full of disbelief and undulating from utter desolation to complete joy.

It moved so slowly, his blood snaking through me and reconstructing and reawakening everything it touched. As it gained momentum, it created a wave of warmth that spread from my head down to my chest and throughout my limbs. It seemed absolutely effervescent, almost ticklish as it crept along. My lips trembled into a faint smile.

I opened my eyes and saw him smiling back at me, "Herrik," I pushed myself up and took his face in my hands. "Oh," I touched him with incredulity. "I can't believe..." I kissed him; his cheeks his lips, his eyes. "I've missed you so much!" There was nothing I could say that would fully express how much I felt at that moment.

Herrik buried his face in my hair, "I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!"

It was strange hearing his voice, so strange and wondrous because it was more than the words I heard but the emotions behind them, too. He seemed broken-hearted for all the mistakes he had made and for the irrevocable outcome that came of them all.

I knew I couldn't comfort him or take away any of his sorrow especially when I was feeling so many of my own private griefs. For a long while we both just sat there, tormented by everything we had lost.

When Herrik finally looked up his eyes were full of anguish, "I played at being a god, Emily, and I failed miserably. I tried creating a world that was never meant to be and I have paid dearly for it. How will anyone ever forgive me?"

I kissed him, "It's understandable that you would feel that way but Herrik," I forced him to meet my eyes, "I love you and I forgive you. I still believe in you and what you are trying to do."

He shook his head.

"And I am sure Artur believes in you, too, and Daemon and Avery along with everyone else who fought beside you."

"I don't have the strength; I've lost the will. It's over, Emily."

I pulled him close and hugged him tight, "You will find it again. I know you will."

He was so tense and overwhelmed by everything that had happened. He took a deep breath of my hair and let it all out as his fingers ran up and down my spine. It was a subtle, innocent touch but it felt absolutely sublime and I found myself arching into it longingly.

"Oh, Emily!" he whispered. "I love you. You are the only thing that has made any of this worth it. I can never be without you again." He pulled back, his expression intense but solemn and sure, "I need you," he confessed. "You are a part of me in a way no one else will ever or could ever be."

There were so many things I wanted to say. It was impossible, though, to express all the emotions that were washing over me.

"You don't need to say anything. I see it, here," he kissed me, "in your eyes, and feel it here," he laid his hand over my heart. "Nothing will ever come between us again," he assured me as our surroundings melted away.

I looked everywhere at once and saw that we were still in Herrik's bedroom but suddenly it was bright and soft and beautiful. Every free surface held elaborate vases of flowers and soft music played in the background. White linens covered the bed and they were so soft and cool and smooth! I couldn't resist running my toes back and forth across them while marveling at the sensation.

Herrik smiled as I laid my hands on the downy comforter and they disappeared, plunging into its depths. I noticed I was no longer in the dingy hospital scrubs I had returned to Haeven in. Instead I wore a gauzy, fitted gown that clung to my figure from my shoulders on down. Herrik had changed, too. He wasn't the gaunt, unkempt mourner he had been a moment ago but a clean-shaven, well-dressed rogue with an impish gleam in his eye.

I shuffled towards him but when I tried to kiss him he laid his fingers over my lips. "Not like this, not this time."

I frowned and shook my head not understanding.

"Let me..." he said. "I want to show you how much you mean to me, how much I love you."

He held his hand out and helped me up from the bed. His fingertips caressed my face and neck while his lips traced the rounds of my cheeks and the curve of my throat. He took a delicate nip and it sent a shock-wave of pleasure rippling through me.

"Herrik," I moaned.

I tried to resist, tried not to lose myself and my self-control. His touch overwhelmed me, though. It seemed so different than the other times we had been together, so striking! Even the lightest of caresses was utterly satisfying. He had me completely under his spell as my arms wound around his neck and he brought his lips to mine. I felt him rake his tongue across my teeth when he kissed me and then the delirious taste of him went flooding down my throat.

Every moment he roamed over a different part of my body, tasting, touching and awakening new and miraculous sensations. I tried to reciprocate but everything he did held me in fascinated suspense. I wasn't able to respond with anything more than a sigh of pleasure or a gasp of ecstasy.

Before I realized it, Herrik had undressed me and was urging me back to the bed. He tucked me on top of the covers and sat down on the edge near my feet. From there he worked his way upwards stroking my legs with his lips, hands and tongue. I grasped handfuls of the comforter and clenched my teeth to keep from crying out with the desperate need radiating throughout my body.

He teased me for what seemed an eternity, his tongue moving expertly in and out and over the soft flesh between my thighs. He managed to undress himself and just when my will was about to break from the need to feel him, he swelled up inside me. He was more exquisite than I remembered.

I couldn't resist or restrain myself any longer and as we glided together, my legs tangled around him and I matched my movements to his. I clutched at his chest and his back, ran my hands over the sinewy muscles of his arms. It was too much for either of us and our passion erupted in a seemingly endless wave of satisfaction. When the tide of pleasure subsided, we lay together catching our breath and running our fingertips over each other's bare flesh.

An indefinite amount of time passed then Herrik surprised me by saying, "I think you just helped me find my will."

"Oh," I said full of confusion.

"You are my will, Emily. I can't imagine what would happen to you if I let Haeven go, what would become of you. I can't let you live that way," he sighed and kissed my cheek, "the way so many of us once did." He took my face in his hands. "I must make it work...for you and for Penny and for everyone here now and all those who may happen to come after you."

It filled me with happiness, knowing how deep his concern was for me. As I looked in his eyes I offered my assurances, "I'll help you, Herrik, however I can. I'll be by your side every step of the way."

## Chapter 25

For the next few days I kept to Herrik's apartment. It was such a dramatic change and difficult to accept at first. I was terribly nervous about how the people of Haeven would react. Herrik was very understanding and did whatever he could to make sure I was comfortable and had everything I needed. During his free time, he would patiently teach me to control my new abilities and all the strange sensations that came along with them. We spent almost all our time together the only exceptions being when the council wanted him to settle some concern or other. He would slip out for however long they needed him and I would spend the time practicing and getting used to what I had become.

I had spells of grief and regret for everything we'd lost but Herrik would always find a way to lift me up; usually by saying something like, "We must learn from the past, not live in it. Otherwise we will miss out on all the things that are right here in front of us!" Then he would smile and kiss me and his loving touch would whisk away whatever sorrows were burdening me.

If we happened to be apart during these spells Herrik would leave his mind open to me. It would give me the sense that he was still with me, close by, like a shadow or phantom. I would feel him loving me, encouraging me and bolstering me against all the inevitable sadnesses and endless worries that came along with such a drastic change.

Eventually, Artur, Avery and the others came back. I sensed that they were coming before they actually arrived and when they returned it finally made Haeven feel like my home again. Herrik went to meet them at the elevator and invited them all to his apartment once they each had time to get settled.

Two days later they all came. First Artur, Daemon and Penny arrived. Davit came alone and so did Avery. Not long afterwards Wyatt and Merry showed up. Colin came last and though I thought he was alone, I discovered that he had someone with him. After they gathered in the living room, Herrik brought me out to meet them all anew. I studied each of them as they sat around the expansive fireplace and talked quietly amongst themselves. It took a moment for anyone to notice me but as soon as they did, whatever they were saying to one another died on their lips.

Ares leapt up and bounded towards me, nearly knocking me over with his exuberance. Collectively they turned toward me and I met their eyes one by one though I spoke to Ares first, "Oh! I never thought I would see you again!" I buried my face in his fur.

"He's one tough cookie!" Colin chuckled. "It took some," he cleared his throat, "coaxing but he's as good as new, aren't you, buddy?" Ares pulled away and returned to Colin's side.

It grew immensely quiet and for the longest time I stood there smiling, waiting for someone, any one of them to say something. I wanted my friends to throw their arms around me and make me feel less like a stranger than someone they knew and loved.

"My goodness, Emily!" Artur finally exclaimed, his eyes bright and keen. "It's...oh! You look...clearly this is what you were meant to be!" he stood up and came over to me. Artur took my hands and held them wide and studied me from head to toe. "Amazing," he smiled as he leaned in and kissed my cheeks first one then the other.

Tears sprung into my eyes. I was so happy to see him and despite my wishes that Artur would do it first, I threw my arms around him.

"Oh," I realized, "they're...afraid," I thought, "but why?" I couldn't imagine.

"There, there," Artur smiled against my cheek. "It's not that, Emily! No one believed...and...It's just too good to be true that you survived so much!"

I opened my eyes and looked over his shoulder. The others had gotten up and moved closer. They all nodded their assent. Artur stepped aside and one after the other they came and told me with words and thoughts how grateful they were to see me again. Penny and Avery had been a part of my life since the moment I arrived in Haeven and held me the longest. I thought my heart would burst from all the love I felt from them and for them. Herrik watched as the scene unfolded and once the group's initial shock was over, he came up behind me and put his hands on my hips. He kissed my cheek and motioned me to a chair where we could both sit close but comfortably.

"Thank you all for coming," Herrik said.

"Yes. Yes! Thank you for everything," I looked pointedly at Artur. He had gone through so much trouble to take care of my family and to bring Herrik and I back together. Artur shook his head and though I noticed a hint of a smile, he refused to let me say anything more about it.

We had plenty of other things to discuss anyway and while Herrik and I listened everyone told their stories both individually and collectively. It was unimaginable what we had all been through, Herrik especially. I thought my heart would break when he confessed everything Freya forced him to witness and endure while under her power.

"When it was over," he said, "I swore I would take Haeven apart brick by brick to prevent something like this from ever happening again. It was a mistake, my mistake..."

"No!" Artur stood up and started cursing at Herrik before he fully understood what Herrik was saying.

The others looked equally dismayed until he laughed and assured them all that was no longer his intention, "But we must do something. I asked you all here today hoping for your thoughts and ideas. Together, I would like to come up with a plan or maybe even a solution. Haeven is your home..." Herrik paused when Daemon's expression suddenly changed. "You're not staying," I felt Herrik's disappointment as if it were my own.

There was no sense in trying to deny it, "Penny and I are leaving. Eventually," he added. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you like this. We...we need a little time to ourselves," Daemon laid his hand on Penny's knee. "We have a lot of catching up to do," he smiled suggestively and his eyes were full of light as he spoke, "but we'll stay as long as we can."

When Daemon finished speaking, Wyatt shifted and cleared his throat, "Well," he began, "I appreciate the opportunity, and man! This place is the balls...uh...just incredible but I...uh...it's just not me," he shook his head.

I looked at Merry figuring he spoke for both of them. I was aghast at the idea of losing her, too. We hardly knew one another but I had hoped we would become friends. It saddened me immensely to learn I was wrong. Herrik took my hand and caressed it while I shook my head in disbelief.

"We've been growing apart for a while now," Merry whispered but we all heard her soft voice. I perked up eager to hear what would come next.

"Yeah," Wyatt mumbled. "Well, I guess I'll be on my way."

"Just like that!" I thought.

I lifted my head and searched their faces but there didn't seem to be any animosity between Wyatt and Merry. They looked like it was something they predetermined before they even got to Herrik's. I wondered if they might have anticipated the reason for the visit and already discussed each other's sentiments about whether to stay.

Merry stood up and they hugged briefly. Wyatt brushed her hair back over her shoulder and kissed her cheek. He looked around the room. "Take good care of her," and though he said it to the group, it seemed as if his eyes lingered on Avery.

Wyatt shook each of the men's hands. Herrik asked him if there was anything we could do to repay him and let him know that he was always welcome, any time, under any circumstances. Wyatt just shrugged. He nodded to myself and Penny, he ruffled Ares ears then afterwards he slowly walked away.

The room grew quiet and still while we each considered what had just happened. One moment I was full joy from seeing all the people I loved most and now I was heartbroken realizing that it was all so fleeting. I looked up at Herrik who smiled weakly and sighed. I laid my head on his shoulder and tried not to worry about the future.

After a few minutes Artur broke the silence, "I'm sorry, Herrik, but I don't see any other options. It has to be you. It must be you. From the moment we started this, you were the only choice. You lured them here, you taught them a better way and you gave them a means for absolution. You are the only one they will trust to wield that kind of influence and power," Artur insisted.

"No," Herrik shook his head in denial. "No one alone should be trusted with so much and for so many."

"What would you suggest then?" Artur looked thoroughly confused.

"That we split it up," Herrik said simply enough.

Like a flash I realized what he had in mind, envisioned it so clearly, "Oh...yes...I see."

The others seemed to awaken to the idea and as the understanding spread the room again grew eerily quiet.

"And how will we determine this division of power?" Artur didn't sound the least bit reconciled to the idea.

"I'm not sure. There are many things we need to focus on first but I think that once the healing process begins and some semblance of normalcy returns to all of our lives..."

"What do you plan to do during the interim?"

"Well, that's one of the reasons why you're all here."

"Ah," Daemon narrowed his eyes and fixed them on his father, "You want us to..."

Herrik nodded, "I do, but not without your consent and not without approval from the council first."

"Hmm," Artur seemed to be weighing the possibilities.

"It will never work!" Avery confidently stated.

"I don't think it can either," Colin shook his head.

Merry looked optimistic, though, and as I looked around I felt very hopeful, too. I stood up and after glancing at each of the people in the room one by one I became entranced by what I saw.

Merry smiled oddly but the others frowned as they stared back at me. It wasn't quite the same but I felt a little fuzzy, like when Herrik swept me away into the utopic worlds he was so good at creating.

They were just the right combination that Haeven needed to bring it back into balance; wise Artur, strong Avery, free-spirited Colin, and empathetic Merry. Then there was Herrik who embodied all those attributes and understood the value of each. He was the weight, the pendulum that would swing in whichever direction mattered most.

Everything seemed very clear for a long, drawn out moment. After the shock and mourning wore off, I pictured the people of Haeven coming together and restoring it to its original splendor. When they finished and Herrik's new hierarchy was in place Haeven began to grow once more. Those that were lucky enough to find it or the few others who came invited, often stayed. If they chose to leave, Artur and Merry would work together and compel them to forget that any such place existed.

Penny lived with Daemon in the apartment we once shared and stayed for as long as Haeven needed them. Eventually they had done all they could and they said their farewells. After living almost her entire life in Haeven I knew Penny longed to see the world. Once she and Daemon finally had a chance to share the experience together nothing would convince her to change her mind.

Though he became a member of the council Colin did not stay either. He and Ares had been through a great deal together and they simply would not be parted. Haeven was no place for a dog, though. Instead they lived within driving distance and came as often as they could to help rebuild and to make sure Haeven would have a future.

Merry timidly accepted her role and though it was a long, gradual transition for her, we all did our part to make her feel welcome. She seemed to know she was essential, not only to help Haeven reclaim everything it lost but her heart naturally drew itself to people in need. Other than myself she may have been the only other person who knew about Avery's feelings for Penny. She understood the daily heartbreak he faced seeing Penny and Daemon always together.

Whenever she sensed his anguish, Merry would track him down and somehow manage to restore his spirits. I wondered how he never seemed to notice how much she cared until after Penny and Daemon left. Once they were gone, though, he finally began to recognize her feelings as well as his own for what they truly were.

"Emily?" Herrik's voice brought me back to the present.

He was looking at me, his eyes full of concern while Artur and the others watched and waited. Their faces all shared the same bewildered expression. I wiped away a few happy tears and wondered how to explain what I had seen. I smiled and at first, I wasn't able to find the words. Then I remembered something Herrik had once said when I asked him about his dreams.

"Well, it's not like I never dream. I just dream when I'm awake." he had said.

"What is it Emily? What did you see?"

I took Herrik's hand in mine and gazed up at him then softly replied, "Peace."
The End

I hope you have enjoyed my book: Haeven. Any reviews, ratings or referrals you would like to offer would be greatly appreciated.

Please look for my other works:

Sanctity: holiness of life or character

Vivienne: Le Perdu et Retrouve & The Lost and Found

