Ryan: Seven miles, two laps. Oh boy.
Jeremy: That's a long one, but that's fine.
Geoff: Oh shit.
Ryan: What are we doing, Geoff?
Geoff: Uh, uh, I should have made it one lap.
Geoff: Let's play.
All: (laughter)
Jeremy: It's fine, the, the Besra covers ground pretty quick.
Matt: We'll sort it out.
Ryan: True...
Jack: (singing quietly)
(muttering about car choices)
Alfredo: Sure, why not?
Ryan:Where's the freakout emote...
Matt: That's Geoff's thing.
Ryan: Hey, that's what the double money's for!
Geoff: (sound effects)
Jeremy: JeSUS.
Jack: What was that, Geoff?
Jeremy: Did you nail it, Geoff?
Geoff: Nah. Got caught up in betting.
Geoff: My Flow suit look reminds me of Destiny's racing.
Ryan: You've got that Flow?
Matt: This is not the car I started with.
Jeremy: All right. Got the Rimmy Tim Mobile.
Ryan: So close. All right. Here we go. Uh. (sound effects.)
(Multiple car horns going as Ryan imitates one.)
Ryan: Transformers 2 the sequel!
Many: Boom! We're going!
Alfredo: I got the boost on that one!
Geoff: Mark Wahlberg edition! You fucking...
Ryan: That's like three or four.
Jeremy: Wow, Geoff is already flying around back there.
Geoff: What are you doing? Get off my--fucking Matt Brag!
Alfredo: Hooooly shit.
Geoff: (yelling) MATT BRAG!
All: (laughter)
Ryan: Sprunk! Oh I sprunked myself!
Matt: Oh! No! You ended up doing that to--
Geoff: That was on purpose!
Jeremy: That was on purpose...
Ryan: I was aiming for Jack.
Geoff: That was like you went out of your way!
Jack: Woah! I checked behind me, there's no one behind me! What the fuck?
Matt: That was so...
Ryan: Yeah, I missed you. I self-sprunked on somebody else.
Jeremy: You got me pretty good.
Ryan: I'm going hot this time.
Jeremy: Yeah...
Geoff: I've got an enemy!
Ryan: I'm hunting for heads.
Others: (laughter)
Jack: You've got an enemy...
Ryan: Oh no.
Matt: Geoff, you're ahead of me now.
Alfredo: Oh shit, hold it together.
Ryan: Can I, can I come back from this?
Jeremy: Here we go, Besra!
Jack: How many laps is this?
Geoff: I'm ahead of you because of spite and venom.
Ryan: Two.
Jeremy: Two.
Jeremy: (laughs) Spite and-
Jeremy & Matt: (together) Venom?
Matt: I thought it was venom and corn.
Jack: (cheering) Yeah, spite and venom!
Jack: 'cause I'm in 'em.
Jack: To win 'em.
Jeremy: Oh my god. That was so close.
Matt: Oooh!
Jeremy: Oh shit.
Matt: Oh, that's a crane!
Jeremy: I almost hit that crane, man.
Ryan: Oh, I've just had a thought.
Ryan: I've just had an insidious thought.
Alfredo: Oh my god oh my god oh my god.
Geoff: Oh no!
Jeremy: Whatcha doing?
Jack: Is it Insidious 3?
Ryan: Oh, it's an insidious thought.
Jack: That's a shitty horror movie.
Alfredo: Not to me, Ryan!
Ryan: If I don't go through the checkpoint, I don't transform.
Alfredo: No, shit!
All: (laughter)
Jack: Alfredo just realized what Ryan was saying!
Ryan: (laughing) Yeah.
Alfredo: No-ho-ho.
Ryan: (threatening voice) I've become a weapon!
Alfredo: Goddammit, now I'm in sixth.
Jack: Don't worry, not for long.
Jeremy: Oh, I want it, I wish it would make us go under the bridge.
Geoff: Man, the distance between--
Matt: Fuck it, I'll do it anyway.
Ryan: (singing nonsense)
Ryan: (singing) And you did anyway!
Geoff: Y'all are so far ahead.
Ryan: No we're not. I'm behind you.
Geoff: I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to them.
Jeremy: Oh, a fucking ramp buggy?
Ryan: And I'm comin'.
Alfredo: Get me off this. Don't go there, dumb vehicle.
Matt: Oh my god.
Jeremy: I like that I'm purple with orange dust.
Alfredo: Woohoo!
Jack: I saw Alfredo.
Geoff: Why am I in the shovel car?
Alfredo: Ah, oop, yep, that's a wall.
Alfredo: Fuck me, dude.
Matt: That thing does not turn well.
Alfredo: Fucking GTA.
Jeremy: (laughter)
Ryan: (chuckles)
Jack: Random (revving noises.)
Jeremy: Jack...
Jack: Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Geoff: Weird place to put a giant bowling pin.
Ryan: This game mode teaches you to basically own every car.
Others: (agreement noises)
Ryan: Get it souped up.
Jeremy: Yep. Just have it ready.
Ryan: 'Cause you get the custom version, I think, if you own it.
Jack: Did I hit you, Jeremy?
Jeremy: (growling) You did not! (noises)
Jack: Ah, goddamn!
Jeremy: Ah, I didn't ramp you, I just--
Jack: Wow, you just fucking smashed into me.
Jeremy: (noise) Oh, Geoff, I went for it.
Alfredo: Oh, there's a lot of pins.
Jeremy: C'mere, Geoff.
Jeremy: You're in first. That can't stand.
Ryan: Whoops. Whoop.
Alfredo: Oh man.
Jeremy: (yelling) Rocket car!
Matt: Oh shit.
Jeremy: Shit!
Matt: Let's do it.
Jeremy: (little voice) Hi, Geoff.
(noises of joy, woohoos)
Matt: On the wall.
Alfredo: Oh nice.
Jeremy: Geoff!
Geoff: Oh no! Wall!
Jeremy: Yeaaaaah!
Jack: Geoff! Move!
Jack: Goddammit, Geoff!
Matt: Oh! Geoff! Fuck!
Jeremy: (maniacal laughter.)
Matt: Fuck!
Ryan: Oof!
Geoff: Ryan did the same thing.
Jack: Goddammit!
Matt: One of us got out of that.
Jack: Fuck!
Alfredo: Does this mean I get to catch up?
Jeremy: Who made it through?
Geoff: Oh man, it looks like--
Jack: AAAAAAAAAAH!
All: (laughter)
Alfredo: Yes!
Alfredo: Oh my god.
Jack: Goddammit!
Geoff: God...
Ryan: Damn it!
(more laughter)
Ryan: (pleading) Just get through! Uh! There it is! Oh god.
Geoff: (cackling)
Ryan: Oh. Oh god.
Alfredo: Oh shit!
Jack: Fucking Geoff's dead body in my way.
Matt: How did you stop in the exact worst spot?
Jeremy: Thank you, Geoff!
Geoff: (falsetto) Oh, christ.
Ryan: Okay.
Matt: I know I fucked you over at the beginning but I  mean.
Geoff: (falsetto) What a shitty place.
Ryan: Not gonna be able to get anybody...
Jack: Goddammit. Third.
Matt: That's not called for.
Geoff: (falsetto) Man...
Matt: Shut up.
Jack: So Jeremy's in first, who's in second? Is it Geoff?
Matt: It's me.
Geoff: No, fuck, I'm in fifth now!
Geoff: I fucked myself so hard.
Jeremy: Yeah you did.
Matt: You kinda fucked everybody pretty hard.
Geoff: (laughs) Yeah, well. I try.
Jeremy: All right. Uhhh...
Geoff: It's like, if I brought enough for the class.
Jack: Yeah.
Jack: Like oh, I got a fucking for you, I got a fucking for you, a little for you...
Geoff: Uh, excuse me, uh, Miss Pommelhorse, can I pass out the fuckings now?
Ryan: A little over there...
Ryan: (unintelligible noises)
Geoff: Yes, you can, Geoff.
Matt: You're expelled, Geoffry.
Jeremy: Lap two.
Matt: Goddammit, it didn't give me my car, either.
Alfredo: Don't hit that, don't hit that...
Matt: I can't Bumblebee.
Jack: (plays car horn.)
Jeremy: (hums horn sound)
Ryan: La la la la la la la la la la la la.
Jack: Oh, Ryan can hear me.
Matt: That's close.
Jack: That's a bad sign.
Ryan: No, I, I can't.
Jeremy: (laughing)
Ryan: I really, um. I'm having an internal debate.
Jeremy: Oh I see... Wait, who's in second? Matt?
Matt: Yeah. 
Jeremy: All right.
Geoff: Oh, you should sprunk him!
Matt: All right? Should I worry?
Geoff: Sprunk Matt Brag!
Jeremy: No, I just saw a car.
Geoff: He's, he's, he's the worst of us.
Ryan: Wow.
Jeremy: Did you say sprunk Matt Brag?
Matt: I'm sorry?
Ryan: He did.
Alfredo: Yeah, he did.
Matt: He's a ways behind me...
Ryan: He said "Sprunk Matt Brag, he's the worst."
Matt: I don't know what I did to him.
Geoff: I do!
Matt: Other than that time I fucked him over, but I mean.
Jeremy: Also...
Ryan: He did also help you a lot that one time.
Matt: I did, remember?
Geoff: Not on purpose.
Matt: Think about the good times. I do.
Geoff: I think about what was intentional and what was an accident.
Ryan: Uh-huh. Bye, Geoff.
Geoff: It's okay, Ryan, I sprunked myself.
Matt: I wasn't subconsciously accidentally helping you.
Ryan: I did too, right behind you.
Ryan: Hi, Geoff.
Jeremy: I also just watched that Infinite Minigolf Let's Play with the maps that you made.
Matt: Oh yeah. You guys weren't happy.
Jeremy: So there you go.
Jeremy: You guys were not happy.
Matt: Hey, I'm making more, by the way.
Jeremy: Oh god.
Ryan: Geoff, I have bad news for you.
Geoff: What's the bad news?
Jack: (laughing)
Ryan: I'm all sprunk today.
Geoff: You're all sprunk?
Jeremy: Yeah, he's all sprunk.
Geoff: Well don't, don't sprunk...
Ryan: Come here, Geoff!
Geoff: No!
Ryan: Come here, Geoff!
Geoff: What are you doing, you psycho?
Ryan: Come here Geoff! C'mere, Geoff!
Jack: You psycho...
Alfredo: Sounds so, so scary...
Ryan: It's you and me. We're in last. There's no one else for us to punish.
Geoff: No, look, there's a 4th place right there!
Ryan: Come here Geoff!
Geoff: No, you fuck, stop doing that!
Others: (laughing)
Alfredo: Come here, Geoff...
Jeremy: Geoff's all "no, look, look, look!"
Ryan: Uh-oh!
Ryan: Ooooh.
Geoff: Look, there's a guy dude right in front of us, I can see we'll catch him!
Alfredo: No, no you won't catch me.
Geoff: Oh, Ryan, let's sprunk-team him!
Alfredo: No, don't do that.
Ryan: I'm listening.
Alfredo: Not on me!
Geoff: We'll do it together! When was the last time you saw that?
Matt: He's all "you have my attention."
Ryan: A double-sprunk would be good.
Geoff: A double-sprunk!
Ryan: Okay. Here's what I'm gonna do, Geoff.
Geoff: Like a sprunk sandwich!
Ryan: Here's what I'm gonna do.
Geoff: Yeah!
Alfredo: Fuck!
Jack: Uh, Ryan's still in the plane.
Ryan: Yep!
Matt: Hatred really brings us together.
Geoff: All right, never mind, I'm upside down.
Ryan: Oh, Whoop, whoop, whoop.
Jack: YEAH!
Jeremy: Ooooooh, god!
Jack: Haha! Yes! Wow, that was amazing!
Matt: Did you slam into him?
Alfredo: Yes!
Jack: Ah, that worked so well!
Jeremy: Didn't realize those paths crossed!
Geoff: I think I know what you're about to do, Ryan, and I think it's brilliant and you're a great human being.
Ryan: Uhhhh...
Geoff: And your children should be proud.
Ryan: Here we go, oh, wait.
Jeremy: Oh no, Matt...
Jeremy: You've got a HUGE lead.
Matt: Jack, thank you so much.
Ryan: (laughing)
Jeremy: Oh god, Matt, you got a problem!
Alfredo: Oh no, what are you guys laughing--
Matt: Oh god! No!
Others: (laughing)
Matt: That is a plane! Fuck, man, why do you have that?
Ryan: (yelling) Yeaaaaaaah! Damnit!
(laughter)
Matt: Goddamn.
Jeremy: Oh, Ryan's wing clipped me, I think. (laughing)
Matt: Why did you have that?
Geoff: Ryan just changed the game.
Ryan: (laughing) I still have one.
Alfredo: Oh shit! Who is that?
Matt: Goddam, Ryan.
Jeremy: Aw, shit.
Ryan: Oh, damn, you guys are flying now.
Jeremy: Yeah, we're flying.
Matt: Who's behind me?
Jeremy: It's me.
Matt: Okay.
Jeremy: Jack fucking timed that perfectly.
Jack: That was beautiful.
Geoff: Yeah, Jack's been real quiet.
Jack: Hiya.
Alfredo: Oh my god!
Ryan: I didn't blow up! Yep, now I blew up.
Alfredo: Holy shit.
Jeremy: Did you hit Alfredo with the plane?
Alfredo: I almost got fucked!
Ryan: No, no. I got close, though.
Ryan: This is like, remember that game we made?
Geoff: Uh, GTA.
Jack: Minecraft.
Ryan: The one where we were in planes trying to take out people in cars.
Geoff: Jetsta La Vista?
Ryan: Yeah!
Ryan: I'm getting my Jetsta La Vista back in.
Geoff: That's a great game.
Ryan: It is.
Geoff: Whoever invented that was brilliant.
Jack: That was a Rockstar-created one, right?
Geoff: Nope.
Jack: Sure?
Ryan: Yeah, actually, they did.
Geoff: That's a Geoff Ramsay special, that's what it is.
Matt: Oh, goddamn, you're gonna--
Jeremy: oooOOOOOOH, MATT!
Matt: You're gonna fucking...
(laughter)
Matt: Your car is so much faster than mine.
Jeremy: Yeah.
Geoff: Is that the end?
Jeremy: Yep.
Geoff: Aw, you all prick-asses already finished?
Matt: Yeah!
Geoff: (dismay noises)
Jack: (falsetto) Aw, prick-ass prick!
Geoff: Prickity-ass prick.
Matt: Ryan, are you landing the--
Ryan: BOOM!
(laughter)
Jack: (laughing) Damnit, Ryan...
Geoff: Did you get Jack?
Ryan: Yeah, I did, I didn't kill him, but.
Jack: I blew him up.
Matt: You landed the plane on the track...
Ryan: And then it exploded.
Alfredo: Noooo, I almost caught him thanks to that.
Jack: Beautiful.
Ryan: I tried, Alfredo!
Alfredo: Good try, Ryan.
Ryan: I tried.
Matt: God, you actually...
Ryan: It's so much more peaceful when no one's around.
Jeremy: Yep.
Jeremy: Geoff, are you gonna finish?
Geoff: I hope so!
Matt: He, yeah, he'll make it.
Jeremy: Yeah!
Jeremy: You do it? Yay!
Ryan: Now you wait.
Jeremy: Now you wait. "Now you wait for me!"
Ryan: Gonna get that pin!
Ryan: (grunting) Uh! I got 40 RP for that.
Jeremy: I'm kinda sad that the ramp cars don't launch other ramp cars.
Matt: Yeah, I know.
Jeremy: Otherwise Jack would have sent me to the moon.
Matt: Did he come at you like straight?
Jeremy: No, the path for the ramp car crosses over itself and so I was driving in front of you and he came the opposite direction.
Jeremy: Just happened to time it.
Geoff: Could you imagine if you came the opposite direction, like, you came inside?
Alfredo: Bleh, that would feel weird.
Matt: I don't want to think about that.
Geoff: Yeah it would.
Ryan: Like, tantric, right?
Jeremy: If you came inside...
Jack: All that bullshit non-betting bullshit...
Matt: I tried to bet, I just...
Jack: Clearly not!
Matt: I didn't hit it in time, Jack!
Geoff: Point to point
Jeremy: Points to points... Oh, that looks bad.
Jack: Oh, that looks beautiful.
Jeremy: The picture there..
Jack: Neon mountain, fuck yeah!
Jeremy: Starting on motorcycles, also featuring the Besra and blech, Seashark.
Ryan: It's twelve miles.
Jack: It's a flying one.
Matt: Well. Super short, Ryan.
Geoff: Oh, I don't need a custom Bati.
Matt: Oh, give me my thing. That I don't own.
Jack: Shotaro.
Jeremy: Shotaro.
Ryan: Maybe I won't bet, considering my new strategy.
Alfredo: Oh, I can actually choose it on this one.
Jack: Hola.
Matt: Yeah that might, that might be smart.
Ryan: I'm not gonna win.
Alfredo: If you choose it.
Geoff: (loud gibberish sound effects.)
Jeremy: Shit. Oh, I wasn't paying attention!
Alfredo: This looks sexy.
Jeremy: This looks cool.
Jeremy: Are my lights on?
Geoff: Why do I have the wrong bike?
Geoff:  Oh man, I picked Shitaro.
Ryan: Did you?
Geoff: (sadly) Yeah.
Jeremy: Alfredo's is bright.
Alfredo: Oh, yes!
Jeremy: Boosh!
Alfredo: Oh, I didn't get it.
Geoff: Alfredo, what are you doing?
Alfredo: (laughing)
Jeremy: Alfredo, off with, right off the mat there.
Geoff: I didn't even get the right motorcycle!
Jeremy: I was going to say off to the races but that's inaccurate. 
Geoff: Psycho!
Matt: (laughing) You psycho...
Jeremy: Hi Ryan. I know you're in a certain mood so I'm just gonna go with it.
Ryan: Yeeeeeeeeessss.
Ryan: Damnit. It's hard to sprunk hard!
Jeremy: It's hard to sprunk on these.
Geoff: You gotta try.
Jeremy: Especially without an edge.
Ryan: Oh, I was trying.
Jack and Jeremy: Woah woah woah woah woah!
Matt: Oh my god.
Matt: Wow, Geoff, you kept up, dude.
Alfredo: Ooooh shit.
Jeremy: Alfredo's in the air now.
Jack: Alfredo's airborne!
Matt: Oh my god, Jeremy.
Jeremy: Oh shit...
Jack: So fast!
Matt: Jack!
Jeremy: Oh god oh god!
Geoff: You went airborne.
Alfredo: I went airborne.
Ryan: Gettin' real weird... Oh, what's about to happen here?
Jack: Alfredo?
Alfredo: Jack, don't do it!
Matt: Excuse me!
All: (yelling)
Jack: Epilepsy!
Geoff: I'm the best racer ever!
Matt: Seizure tube! Uh-oh!
All (more yelling)
Matt: All right, plane time.
Jeremy: This is bad.
Jeremy: So much smoke.
Matt: I have to be the other way? Goddammit.
Ryan: Uh-oh.
All: (still more yelling.)
Alfredo: Nooooooo!
Alfredo: Why?
Ryan: Oh god, I'm all over the place!
Jack: There's so much explosions.
Matt: Can't believe I lived through that.
Matt: Oh god, who hit me?
Alfredo: Woah...
Ryan: I'm not trying to sprunk at this at this point, I'm just trying to live!
Jeremy: I know!
Jack: Matt! Matt! Get the fuck!
Matt: I...
Others: (babbling about fuck)
Alfredo: Matt. Do it. Execute the plan, Matt.
Jack: Matt! Matt!
Matt: Get the fuck! Get the fuck!
Alfredo: Oh, I did it.
Jack: No, I missed it! Fuck!
Jeremy: Seashark time.
Jack: Matt, you piece of shit!
Others: (laughing)
Matt: I had him in a death roll.
Jeremy: Oh he get death roll.
Matt: I get him, I get him.
Jeremy: Land! Land, Seashark!
Jack: Goddamn, I'm a mile away.
Jack: For sprunking, Ryan's sure racing.
Ryan: I haven't had a good sprunk. I mean, I was hitting Jeremy pretty good on the bike.
Jeremy: Yeah you were.
Geoff: Seashark is really boring to drive.
All: (agree)
Matt: Ryan, I've been sprunking this like, circuit? It feels real good. I get why you gave up last race.
Ryan: It's fun to just sprunk!
Jeremy: It is fun.
Ryan: It's fun to be the antagonist.
Geoff: Ryan JUST discovered.
Jeremy: Every story needs a good villain, Ryan.
Ryan: It's, uh, my normal role. I'm cool with it.
Geoff: Ryan sits here going "This is what it's like for Darth Vader."
Jack: "Oh, I get it."
Matt: Well, he had a few more breathing problems, but you know.
Jeremy: Yeah.
Matt: But that was part of his character.
Alfredo: Get me back on land, baby.
Matt: Goddammit, your bikes are still faster.
Alfredo: This is such a cool map.
Geoff: Whee.
Matt: It really is. Unless you have like epilepsy.
Jeremy: Oh my god, shit...
Ryan: Woah. Boy, these walls...
Geoff: If they could talk!
Ryan: They'd say "aaaaah! It hurts so much!"
Geoff: They'd be a made-for-tv HBO movie about lesbians.
Jeremy: (singing something about walls)
Ryan: Oh, we're going back in the...
Jeremy: Back in the fucking Bermuda Triangle here.
Alfredo: I was all, why do I hear planes? It makes sense now.
Jeremy: (engine noises) Oh, damnit.
Jack: Coming for you, Alfredo.
Geoff: Upside-down?
Ryan: Yep.
Alfredo: You're that close to me, Jack?
Jeremy: This is sickening.
Ryan: It's not like upside-down matters in here, it's the same.
Matt: Yeah, it's all the same.
Alfredo: I feel nothing, oh my god.
Ryan: I'm guessing that arrow is gonna be, okay, there we go.
Jeremy: Oh, through the gates, here we go.
Alfredo: Jesus. I don't know how I made it through that. Oh my god.
Jeremy: Oh god.
Ryan: Woah, Jeremy. There it is. There it is!
Jeremy: Oh, pulling up, woah, shit, Ryan! How the fuck, how the fuck...
Geoff: Oh, you know what would be cool? Y'all should sprunk each other.
Ryan: We did!
Jeremy: You don't understand what just happened.
Ryan: We, we did an amazing little aerial dance.
Jeremy: Oh god!
Matt: You guys are like, goodbye.
Geoff: I feel like the audience would like it if you did it more.
Matt: What, what happened to you, Jeremy?
Ryan: What did happen to you? Are you alive?
Alfredo: No, shit! (yelling)
Jack: Alfredo!
Jeremy: I died, Ryan.
Ryan: Oh.
Jack: What happened? Alfredo missed the fucking triangle.
Ryan: You missed it.
Matt: Damnit.
Geoff: I just saw Matt take a fucking swing at Ryan.
Matt: God, I was close.
Ryan: He did. He tried real good.
Ryan: You just can't do it on these! They don't do much.
Matt: I know. They don't fuck up.
Matt: Oh my god!
Geoff: Get it, bitches.
Ryan: There goes Geoff.
Ryan: You ain't goin' nowhere, Geoff.
Geoff: I just did go somewhere.
Ryan: You're mine!
Geoff: What does that mean? I don't like that.
Jeremy: Gotta get out of fifth...
Geoff: Oh, what.
Ryan: Yep.
Geoff: No, but, Ryan!
Matt: Yeah, bye Geoff!
Jack: No, but, but, Ryan?
Matt: Bu-bu-Ry.
Geoff: How did I survive that?
Jeremy: Here we go, here it is.
Matt: Ryan, how are you fucking doing that?
Ryan: Ah, the power of sprunk. It keeps you young!
Jeremy: Come here, Jack!
Jack: No, Jeremy.
Alfredo: Jesus...
Matt: (yelps)
Jack: Must catch others.
Ryan: Boop!
Matt: Ah, Ryan!
Matt: That was really cool, but, so scary.
Ryan: Geoff, come 'ere, you. C'mere you!
Geoff: Just give me one, man, I don't ever get it.
Geoff: You went really fast there, goddammit.
Ryan: Well, we've got drafting on. Oh, it's the end! Oh no!
Matt:  No, Jack!
Geoff: Oh, Ryan, you!
Ryan: Yes!
Geoff: Second place I'll take it!
Matt: Damnit, Jack!
Jack: Passed Matt there at the end.
Jeremy: Aw, I got fifth!
Matt: I funking sprunked you so early on, how'd you come back?
Jack: I fucking had, had, had, full rage!
All: (laughter)
Jack: Powered by hate!
Jeremy: Ah, I went into one of the bike transformations upside down. That was my mistake.
Alfredo: That would do it.
Jeremy: So I transformed into a bike and landed on my head.
All: (laughter)
Jack: Ugh.
Ryan: 165.
Geoff: Wow, Ryan woah-oh-oh-oh'd.
Matt: Woah-woah-woah'd?
Geoff: Ryan, that's rude.
Ryan: Know what?
Jack: Super rude.
Ryan: That's how I'm playin' today.
Jeremy: He's playin' rude.
Jeremy: Geoff, we're tied, man.
Geoff: Uh, no pressure.
Jeremy: There is so much pressure.
Geoff: Point-to-point...
Ryan: Plummet three.
Ryan: Fourteen miles.
Geoff: Fourteen miles!
Matt: Oh my god.
Jeremy: Kuruma, oh, I can take the Rimmy Turtle, that would be a death sentence, but...
Matt: Kuruma's fast, right?
Jack: Nah.
Matt: Okay.
Jeremy: It's not bad. I'm gonna go with the 7-70.
Geoff: I'm going seven-seventy as well.
Alfredo: Ah, you know what? Let's do it.
Matt: Come on, Banshee.
Geoff: (gibberish)
Ryan: (sing-song) I wanna rock.
Geoff: (still gibberish)
Matt: Oh, oh, you got me.
Geoff: (more gibberish)
Jeremy: Wow, you took forever to fucking blow a kiss there. Loser.
Geoff: (yet more gibberish.)
(so many car horns.)
(car horns and laughter.)
Ryan: Drill them all. Yes, sir, car, I will.
Ryan: Missed the boost.
Alfredo: I did too.
Jack: Damnit, Matt!
Matt: I'm sorry.
Jeremy: But being in first here is really not great.
Matt: Yeah.
Jack: Hey, Jeremy, having issues?
Jeremy: I'm about to.
(lots of yelling and laughter.)
Ryan: I went off!
Alfredo: I dodged it all!
Alfredo: I fucking dodged it all. Woo!
Jeremy: All right.
Matt: Who just flew off?
Jack: Well, three people made it.
Ryan: I did.
Alfredo: Oh shit, no, no!
Jack: Oh my.
Alfredo: (noises of relief.) Who was that? Jack?
Geoff: I didn't do nothing.
Geoff: I'm driving straight.
Matt: I didn't do nothin'.
Jack: Ah, being in first is the worst...
Jeremy: Yeah, it's pretty bad.
Jack: Ah, Geoff...
Ryan: Being in sixth isn't great either.
Geoff: Hello, Jack.
Matt: I mean, you can be peaceful in sixth.
Ryan: No, that's when you really gotta scrap.
Jeremy: Yeah.
Matt: It just depends.
Geoff: All right, end the race, right here.
Matt: On how much you want it.
Geoff: I'm just gonna call it right here. I won. Good job Geoff, yay!
Ryan: Maybe for a moral victory, not so much points.
Alfredo: Ahh! Matt?
Jeremy: What are you two doing?
Alfredo, Matt: (yelling)
Ryan: Look at all that shit in front of us.
Alfredo: Course correct!
Matt: I... got it.
Jeremy: That was pretty impressive, guys.
Alfredo: Nice. Just like in the script, Matt.
Matt: Yeah, yeah. (laughter) I , we improvised a little bit there, but I think we still did good.
Geoff: Wait, wait, woah woah woah woah woah!
Jack: Geoff!
Geoff: Jack! You're on the wrong page of the script!
All: (laughter, turns into swearing)
Matt: That wasn't a planned stunt! My double was nowhere near me.
Geoff: I'm not supposed to get into fifth place for another... quarter-mile!
Jeremy: See you later, sauce.
Alfredo: Goddammit, Jeremy.
Jeremy: That ate all of my speed, though.
Alfredo: I know, I'm right back behind you baby!
Ryan: I helps, now you're in sixth!
Jeremy: Why am I so slow?
Alfredo: Bye, Felicia!
Jeremy: No, no, no, where's my speed?
Geoff: Yeah, my character's like, chugging fast...
Jeremy: Why am I chugging?
Matt: Aw, my horn's gone.
Jeremy: Did I hit spike sticks or something?
Ryan: You lost your momentum!
Jack: Fly!
Ryan: All right, someone just put down their landing gear.
Matt: I was trying to hold my horn and it didn't work.
Ryan: Bip!
Others: (shouts and laughter)
Jeremy: That was insane! That was insanity.
Geoff: What was that?
Alfredo: I fucking knew that was coming!
Jeremy: Wait, Ryan, you lived?
Ryan: Yeah, I did!
Alfredo: That was like... Ryan just swooped back into frame.
Matt: Holy shit.
Alfredo: And I was like, why is he positioning himself on top of me?
Ryan: (laughing still) Who did I kill?
Jeremy: Alfredo! You rinsed him!
Ryan: (laughing harder)
Matt: I had a perfect view of that. It was like I was a jet fighter and just watched my buddy in front of me die.
Alfredo: You were still alive after that?
Ryan: Yep! I kept going! Now I'm in third!
Jeremy: That was horrifying.
Alfredo: Christ...
Ryan: (catching his breath) oh my god.
Jack: So bad...
Matt: Ryan, you're...
Ryan: I was willing to die for it, but I didn't have to.
Jack: Ryan's a bad, bad man.
Matt: You're like a fucking terrorist.
Geoff: Ryan just killed Alfredo like Bruce died in fucking Top Gun 2.
Jack: Yeah.
Alfredo: That was nasty.
Ryan: Oh my god. Woo!
Matt: Who's in first?
Jeremy: Back in the seven-seventy.
Jack: Uh, me right now.
Alfredo: Uh, damnit. Nope, fucked that up.
Jeremy: You're an animal.
Ryan: Oh, the transformation saved me!
Jeremy: Did it really?
Ryan: Yeah!
Jeremy: Aw, damnit! I was like, you have to be put down.
Geoff: "You gotta be put down."
Jeremy: Come here, Jack!
Jack: Like a fucking rabid dog.
Ryan: All it did was put you in my sights, Jeremy!
Geoff: Ryan, here, if you want a treat, follow me out behind the barn.
Ryan: Whoops.
Geoff: Want to play ball?
Ryan: Fuck. I fucked it up a little bit there but I'm still coming.
Jeremy: (growl) Rimmy Tim Batmobile
Ryan: (growl) I'm still comin'.
Ryan: (growl) I'mma get you in the next turn.
Jeremy: Jack. I'm gonna catch you.
Jack: Yes? No.
Alfredo: Kinda menacing.
Jack: I know you will, but.
Jeremy: Not on these, but I'll catch you.
Ryan: (growl) Now you're gonna play, and I'm comin' for you.
Geoff: Oh man. This is that little canal area where I made like a thousand Things To Do for us.
Ryan: Yep.
Jack: Aw, it's so slow!
Jeremy: Oop, boosted.
Alfredo: Come on, come on, come on. Oh, I see somebody. That gives me hope.
Jeremy: Come here, Jack
Matt: Is that a heli--
Jeremy: Yep.
Ryan: Yeah, you're probably behind me.
Jeremy: Oh, this is gonna be so slow.
Ryan: That didn't go very well for you last time, so you might wanna just stay away.
Alfredo: Oh, I'm coming.
Jeremy: By the way, there's no way this next part doesn't take forever.
Matt: Yeah.
Matt: We're at the most exciting part of the race.
Ryan: (hums Ride of the Valkyries, loses steam.)
Jeremy: It's helicopters but it's just straight up.
Ryan: I see you guys.
Geoff: Oh my god, here comes the boring part.
Ryan: I'mma comin'.
Ryan: Woo boy. I'mma gonna getcha.
Jeremy: (laughing) Wooo boy.
Matt: (very slow hum of Ride of the Valkyries.)
Alfredo: Here is where I take my nap.
Matt: (still humming)
Ryan: Almost there, almost to the top. Almost top. Ah, there we go.
Matt: I feel like, they felt like they had to put this here, right?
Ryan: Just to throw in a little bit of helicopter?
Matt: Yeah, I feel like.
Ryan: But why didn't they pick one of the fast ones?
Matt: And then there's like a helicopter part...
Jeremy: Yeah, they could have gone, there's the Volatus.
Ryan: There are faster ones.
Geoff: Oh my god, we're still on the... it's taking forever.
Matt: You gotta climb up, man.
Jeremy: Oh, god.
Jack: Oh, goddammit, Jeremy.
Matt: Come on, bike.
Geoff: What happened?
Jeremy: Okay. End the race. I'm pulling a Geoff. End the race here.
Jack: Ah! Jeremy!
Jeremy: Jack!
Jack: Ah! Jeremy! Ah!
Matt: Oh-ho!
Jack: Ah, fucking Matt!
Jeremy: Ah, Matt!
Matt: Uh-oh. You're gonna draft off me.
Jeremy: Woah.
Jeremy: You're gonna draft off me!
Jeremy: Dogshit!
Alfredo: Nice. Nailed it.
Matt: Ah, oh.
Geoff: Who's behind me?
Jeremy: Gonna draft off you!
Jeremy: These fucking shit vehicles. Wait, wait, middle, or... okay.
Ryan: Come on, go!
Jeremy: Woah!
Matt: I'm just doing it. Don't care.
Jeremy, Jack & Matt: (yelling)
Ryan: Wooohoo!
Alfredo: Keep doing it, keep fucking each other!
Jeremy: Wait, do these work in a Besra? Woooah!
Matt: Wait, there are four of us here.
Ryan: Yeah they do. Yeah there are.
Jack: Aw, son of a bitch, Ryan's here.
Matt: Oh, god, Ryan...
Ryan: Hi matt!
Matt: No!
All: (laughter)
Matt: How did you do that?
Jeremy: "Goodbye, Matt..."
All: (still laughing)
Matt: How did you take no damage?
Jeremy: I love it.
Jeremy: I love that he's figured out that that doesn't hurt him.
Alfredo: I know.
Matt: How are you like this?
Ryan: Oh no.
Jeremy: "How are you like this?"
Jeremy: No! Please don't miss it! Oh god.
Ryan: Oh no.
Jack: Aw, son of a bitch...
Alfredo: Oh my god.
Ryan: Oh no...
Jack: Jeremy, this car sucks...
Jeremy: (grunting) No, noooo, no!
Matt: I'm standing by it. Ryan, you're a terrorist.
Ryan: (laughing)
Jeremy: Oh!
Jack: I think Jeremy just won...
Jeremy: I don't know, I don't know. Where's the end? Oh, there's the end!
Ryan: Oooooh, yep.
Jack: Oh shit.
Jeremy: Oh, that's so much air...
Matt: You gotta do a flip.
Alfredo: Aw, shit.
Jeremy: Oh yes! Woohoo! Yes!
Alfredo: Haha, no!
Jack: Damnit, Jeremy, I thought you over, I thought you missed the checkpoint. Overshot it.
Jeremy: I thought I went over it. I thought I went over it.
Matt: Uh-oh.
Jeremy: It was very lenient.
Ryan: Oh my god.
Matt: Someone's about to pass me.
Alfredo: The fuck is that, is that the end there?
Geoff: Matt Brag, you fuck.
Matt: Thanks, Geoff!
Jack: I was just going where's Geoff? I haven't heard him in a while.
Geoff: I was like, right behind him.
Jeremy: All right. There's Alfredo.
Alfredo: Can I make it? Is this it?
Geoff: Ooh, Alfredo's placed!
Jeremy: Yeah, you can make it. It's gonna be close, though.
Alfredo: Oooooooh!
Jack: Ten! Nine! Eight!
Jeremy: Oh, it's gonna be real close.
Jack: Seven! Six!  Five!
Jeremy: Uh-oh, I don't think he's gonna make it!
Ryan: You're not gonna make it! 
Jack: Four! Three!
Alfredo: It's right there!
Jack: Two!
Alfredo: I can taste it!
Jack: One!
All: Ooooh!
Jack: How's it taste?
Ryan: Like a love-tap from a Besra.
Jeremy: Oh man.
Matt: Goddammit, Ryan.
Geoff: So how did you fuck him up, Ryan?
Jack: Matt.
Ryan: Turns out if you're on top of someone in a Besra and you just tap them like that, they explode.
Geoff: They explode!
Jeremy: Yeah, you're fine.
Jack: Matt realizing there's four of us...
Ryan: Yep. Boom!
(laughter)
Matt: It was so instant, too. 'Cause like, there was no waiting for me to explode.
Jack: That was incredible.
Jeremy: Oh man.
Geoff: This is too much fun.
Alfredo: Ryan was like hanging out right next to me and lured me into a false sense of... 
Matt: Explosion?
Alfredo: Of safety!
Geoff: Well, Jeremy, we're not tied anymore.
Ryan: You guys were warned!
Jeremy: We're not tied.
Jeremy: Oh boy. Close game.
Matt: It's still such a close race.
Jeremy: What I don't like is that Ryan's kinda fallen behind overall.
Geoff: Yeah, he doesn't care now.
Jeremy: Yeah.
(laughter)
Ryan: Oh yeah.
Jeremy: This means nothing to him.
Geoff: I mean, it's cool, because you're guaranteed fifth place pretty much.
Ryan: Well, the problem is I still have to try, kinda hard, to sprunk the right people.
Jeremy: 'Cause you gotta keep up.
Matt: What do you mean by that? Do you have an agenda?
Ryan: I mean, sprunking the guy in fifth or sixth, who cares?
Geoff: Yeah, it's like, uh.
Jeremy: It doesn't change anything.
Ryan: Yeah.
Ryan: It's not how you upset the order.
Jeremy: What's the X-A-21? What is that?
Jack: Obviously it's the Xa-21.
Jeremy: Got it.
Jack. Dumb fuck.
Geoff: (laughs hard.)
Jeremy: That was unnecessary.
Jeremy: All right, let's see here.
Geoff: (very brief gibberish noise.)
Jeremy: Oh, goddammit!
Alfredo: God damn it.
Alfredo: I got the shitty bike.
Matt: Why don't you put the fucking helmet on?
Geoff: Way too late.
Jeremy: Rimmy-me-me
Geoff: Forty flavors.
(horn noises.)
Ryan: Oh, I need a horn for this thing.
(horn plays Flight of the Concords)
Matt: (does bad horn impression.)
Jeremy: Gotta love that Flight of the Concords. Get people...
Jeremy: I don't know why I keep doing that boost that puts me in first.
Alfredo: I can't pick that fucking bike.
Geoff: Woohoo!
Jack: Geoff?
Geoff: Yeah, what's up? Not doin' nothing.
Ryan: Now you may draft off me.
Geoff: Yay...
Ryan: Bye, I--
Jeremy: Ptah!
Jack: Wuh-oh!
Ryan: Woah.
Jeremy: Hi-yah!
Matt: It's my relationship with myself, on the bike.
Ryan: BOOP!
Geoff: Aw fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, why?
Jeremy: Oh, Ryan!
Ryan: (laughing madly)
Matt: So many just died.
Alfredo: Holy shit.
Jeremy: I like Ryan all, you gotta be careful about who you sprunk.
Ryan: (laughs)
Jeremy: Then annihilates Geoff.
Geoff: I would have done it myself in another ten seconds!
Ryan: I know, but you were in first!
Jack: Jeremy. Jeremy!
Ryan: Gotta take my shot at the person in first!
Jack: Jeremy!
Matt:"I would have done it myself."
Jeremy: Oh shit!
Jack: Yeah, get fucked, Jeremy.
Jeremy: Oh, I made it. Oh fuck, Jack, no!
Jeremy: I'm fucked. Goddamnit!
Geoff: This building's got a unicorn horn. That's weird.
Ryan: Hi Geoff.
Geoff: Why?
Ryan: Nah, you're good.
Jeremy: Wait, who's going nuts right there?
Ryan: I gotta rebuild. I gotta get back up in the...
Jack: Ah, Matt.
Jeremy: Who is that? Alfredo. Alfredo!
Alfredo: (laughing like mad.) No!
Jeremy: Fucking calm down!
Alfredo: I gotta go! I gotta dive this thing!
Jack: Matt!
Matt: I gotta go up! We can both live this! We can both live--oh my god.
Jeremy: Dude. I missed the knife-flight because I was just fucking amazed by Alfredo.
Matt: Oh my god.
Jack: That was beautiful!
Jeremy: Oh, I wasn't paying attention!
Ryan: Oh no!
Jeremy: Oh, it worked!
Geoff: (laughing hard.)
Jeremy: Dude, the game fucking, the game fucking threw me a bone there.
Ryan: Ooooh no.
Ryan: Hi, Alfredo.
Alfredo: ...Oh, is that Ryan?
Jeremy: I was under the ramp with the transform thing on it. It was like yeah, close enough.
Ryan: Op, kinda no reason to hit you now.
Alfredo: Nooo, what the fuck?
Jeremy: All right, so Jack and Matt are... out there.
Matt: What? Why?
Geoff: Geoff...
Matt: Fuck you! God!
Jeremy: All right, Jack is out there.
Ryan: Matt, you gotta get him!
Matt: I'm working on it, Ryan.
Matt: I wanna feel that good sprunky feel.
Alfredo: (laughing madly.)
Geoff: (falsetto) Oh god, Alfredo...
Alfredo: Goddammit.
Jack: What happened to Alfredo?
Geoff: We're both stupid.
Alfredo: We're just literally terrible.
Jeremy: There goes someone. That was Jack, I think.
Jack: Oh shit. This looks exciting.
Matt: (muttering) I'm gonna find you. I'm gonna sprunk you.
Ryan: (muttering) Do it. Put it in 'im!
Matt: (muttering) Fucking sprunk you. Gonna fuck (normal voice:) Oh goddammit.
Jeremy: "Sprunk him..."
Matt: Give me ten minutes, I'll do it myself.
Jeremy: All right, here we go.
Jack: Ooh. 
Geoff: Feel like, uh.
Jack: Got a feeling Geoff's gonna fall off right there.
Ryan: Oh, no.
Jeremy: Someone's, who's in fourth?
Ryan: I'm in fourth.
Jeremy: Okay. That's not good.
Ryan: I mean, I'll be there in a minute!
Jeremy: I'll be right there!
Matt: Are we goin' up?
Geoff: I've got a lot of faith in you, Ryan.
Ryan: Ah, we have a sprunk appointment?
Geoff: You agent of chaos.
(laughter)
Geoff: I got a 10:45 sprunk with, uh, third place?
Jack: Ah, shit.
Matt: How did I come out ahead of you on that?
Ryan: No, you're a pretty good ways ahead of me, so.
Jeremy: And they're a real good ways ahead of me too.
Jeremy: Well, actually, there they are.
Matt: Woah, woo!
Ryan: Is catch-up on?
Jeremy: I think so.
Geoff: No.
Jeremy: It's not?
Geoff: No, it's off by default.
Jack: Oh my god. I almost nailed that fucking thing.
Geoff: Slipstream's on, but not catch-up.
Matt: You should have done it. I believe in you.
Jack: No.
Matt: You can do whatever you want.
Geoff: Yeah, Jack, you can do it.
Matt: (distressed noise.)
Jack: Get fucked.
Jack: Still with me?
Matt: You wanna get sprunked?
Matt: (yells)
Jeremy: Oh, shit!
Jack: Fuck you, Matt!
Matt: How did you do that?
Jack: Matt hit me and exploded!
Matt: That's such bullshit!
Jack: I got sprunk insurance.
Jeremy: That was rough.
Geoff: Jack has sprunk insurance? That's not fair.
Jack: Yeah. Call your agent.
Alfredo: Pull up, didn't work..
Alfredo: (singing) State Sprunk is there.
Jack: Oh fuck, who's with me?
Jeremy: What's up, Jack?
Jack: Goddamnit, where did you come from?
Jeremy: (maniacal laughter) Aha! Oh, current lap, goddammit, there's another one. Fuck!
Jack: Aw, son of a bitch, really?
Jeremy: Dude, I could have taken it right there if it was one lap, it was awesome.
Alfredo: Ah, my vehicle's so slow!
Jeremy: Hey, Jack.
Jeremy: Hi-yah!
Matt: Oh, that was beautiful.
Jack: Fuck you.
Jeremy: Hoooo-oh!
Matt: Go fuck yourself.
Jack: Aw, Matt!
Matt: I'm back, mother fucker. I'm back, mother fucker!
Jack: You want some of this shit?
Jeremy: Sprunk yourself!
Geoff: Permanently in fifth place still.
Ryan: Yeah, you guys are way behind me at this point.
Alfredo: Yep.
Alfredo: Fuck me!
Matt: This is horrible. Goddammnit.
Jeremy: This is where I got fucked last-oh, oh, oh.
Matt: No, you fucker.
Mat: OH! Why?
Ryan: Wow!
(mad laughter)
Matt: Why? (garbled) God!
Everyone else: (laughing)
Ryan: Holy shit, what just happened?
Jack: Oh, it was amazing.
Jack: Jeremy!
Matt: You fuck.
Ryan: You give him the head tap?
Jack: Yeah.
Matt: When I gave you the head tap, I blew up, Ryan!
Ryan: You didn't do it right.
Jeremy: Dude, that was awesome.
Jeremy: Woo!
Jack: Oh, Jeremy, I was goin' for you.
Jeremy: I saw.
Matt: Jeremy, you better fuck him up.
Geoff: "You'd better fuck him up." Kill him!
Ryan: Yesss!
Jeremy: Jack, I flew under this platform last time. It was like, eh, good enough.
Ryan: It's spreading.
Jack: Really?
Jeremy: Yeah. It just threw me in the car in the right spot.
Alfredo: Oh, there's two laps...
(laughter)
Jeremy: The realization.
Geoff: Who's in last place?
Alfredo: Me.
Ryan: Well. Wow.
Matt: Wait, where did, how are there four people ahead of me? Or three?
Ryan: I couldn', I couldn't turn fast enough.
Alfredo: Oh, fuck me.
Matt: Hey, that happened to me too.
Ryan: Yeah, I don't know what happened right there.
Ryan: Whoops. Yep.
Matt: I did that so beautifully the first time.
Jeremy: Hey Jack. Hi.
Ryan: Doesn't go as well--oop.
Ryan: There we go.
Matt: Why do I get the car that's got explosives all over it?
Jeremy: Oh shit!
Jack: Oh, I missed it!
Jeremy: Fuck. No, noooo!
Jack: Fuck you, Jeremy, I missed that checkpoint!
Jack: Goddammit!
Jeremy: He has to go back for it!
Ryan: Yeah, Jack!
Jack: Goddammit.
Jeremy: (maniacal laughter.)
Ryan: Don't you stop, you get it.
Jack: That was such a terrible place to try to sprunk, too.
Alfredo: You get it, you get it!
Jack: Just a big, flat, open area.
Ryan: You missed a flat open sprunk?
Jack: I, no, he pushed me out of the checkpoint and I was trying to push him off the side and it was way too big.
Jack: Well, Jeremy just won.
Geoff: Already?
Jack: Yes.
Geoff: It doesn't say he won.
Ryan: More of a, of a future victory.
Jeremy: Well.
Matt: Geoff, you can fucking stop slipstreaming whenever you want.
Matt: I said, I said you could stop!
Jeremy: "You can get out of there."
Jack: I just looked up and was all "Why is 'fredo leaving?" It was Trevor.
Alfredo: (grunting)
Jack: Goddammit.
Geoff: Thanks for nothing, Matt.
Matt: I told you to stop. I've got one person I can fight right now and it's you.
Jeremy: And Matt's feeling fighty.
Matt: Feeling fighty today.
Geoff: No kidding! I don't know why I'm the object of your ire.
Matt: You're not! You're just the one that's right here.
Jeremy: Dude, there's still a bottle of whiskey on my desk from Fuel and I'm so happy.
Matt: I was fucking fighting Jack.
Jeremy: I'll be hitting that bottle after this race.
Geoff: Did you say you're hitting the bottle?
Jeremy: Yeah.
Geoff: Oh, okay.
Ryan: He's hittin' the sauce!
Alfredo: He's in it.
Jeremy: It will only increase my power.
Jack: Hey, Jeremy, can you do me a favor, and get fucked?
Jeremy: Hey, Jack. No.
Matt: That was so cordial.
Geoff: Goddamn, Matt Brag.
Matt: I'm sorry. I told you.
Jeremy: This is where Matt died.
Matt: Yep.
Jeremy: The first time. Ah, c'mon, keep going. Cut it close.
Geoff: God, I need this!
Matt: Geoff, you catch up so fast anyway.
Alfredo: So far behind.
Ryan: C'mere. C'mere!
Jack: He's come so far and tried so hard.
Ryan: Come here!
Jeremy: That was a sweet aileron roll.
Alfredo: Just kinda cruising now.
Jeremy: Yeah. Just kinda cruisin'. There it is!
Jeremy: Wha-boosh!
Ryan: Damnit! I was right behind you, Jack.
Alfredo: Such a slow bike.
Ryan: I was trying to getcha.
Matt: Geoff, I don't think we're finishing.
Geoff: What did you say?
Matt: I don't think we're finishing.
Geoff: I don't think we're finishing either.
Matt: So close...
Jeremy: Oh, Alfredo, you're gonna get pretty close.
Alfredo: Yeah, I'm right there.
(laughter)
Ryan: You're gonna... see it.
Geoff: There, I got to try that one.
Alfredo: Oh shit, oh shit.
Matt: Oh wait.
(lot of talking)
Geoff: Last chance to catch anyone. Chance to turn it around...
Matt: Ooooh!
Jeremy: I'm now a shot caller!
Matt: Geoff, you can do it, you can still finish, you've got two seconds.
Jeremy: Calling my shot!
Jeremy: Oh, speaking of shot.
Matt: That was close.
Geoff: Yeah.
Alfredo: Ah, god, this game...
Jeremy: Putting this in a...
Matt: You're all or nothing, man.
Matt: It's not a bad way to be.
Alfredo: I can't, I'm terrible at vehicles.
Ryan: I just, I don't, I still, I, I don't get it.
Jeremy: I mean, it's alcohol. It's a natural disinfectant.
Ryan: It's not that. I mean, you're the second-highest level in here!
Alfredo: It's, I stopped playing a month after GTA online came out!
Ryan: The second-highest!
Matt: You did that in a month?
Alfredo: I, a month or two, yeah.
Matt: Fuck you.
Jeremy: Goddamn.
Geoff: Wow.
Alfredo: I have a lot of hours in this game.
Jeremy: Why do you think they gave us the dunce hat?
Geoff: You're supposed to have the dunce cap for like a month. He's had it for four years.
Jeremy: He played that much and they were like, "oh."
Alfredo: I started blowing up people's cars with C4.
Ryan: Rocket car!
Ryan: Nothing sprunks like a rocket car.
Geoff: I think one lap for this guy, right?
Ryan: It's only 6.5 miles.
Geoff: 7 miles. Did you say only?
Jeremy: Yeah, let's do one.
Geoff: So four laps?
Matt: But we're in a rocket car!
Jeremy: No no no no no no no no no.
Alfredo: No no no no no no woah.
Matt: We're in a rocket car, so we're gonna go fast.
Ryan: Maybe two. Two feels good.
Geoff: Two? I did one.
Ryan: All right.
Matt: (singing)
Jeremy: But it's already been, how long?
Ryan: He did the one!
Geoff: Thirty-seven minutes.
Jeremy: And we have, oh, is this the last race?
Ryan: This is the last one.
Jeremy: Yeah, probably should have done two.
Geoff: Naaaaw.
Jeremy: (laughs)
Geoff: I listen to Jeremy. I only do what Jeremy says.
Geoff: (gibberish)
Ryan: That's a weird way to say Jack.
Jack: What?
Geoff: (still gibberish)
(more noises)
Geoff: Nailed it.
Jeremy: Yeah, I was close.
Ryan: That's not the car I picked.
Jeremy: That's not the car I picked.
Ryan: Oh, there it is, we're starting with the rocket.
Jeremy: Oh.
Geoff: That's not the motorcycle I picked.
Jeremy: Is this the--
Ryan: This is the rocket car.
Jeremy: Got it.
Alfredo: Oh, that's a giant fucking rocket.
Jeremy: This is indeed the Rimmy Rocket.
Jack: (beeps along with countdown.)
Ryan: Go now!
Jack: Oh, goddammit, Matt! Why did you punch it?
(laughter)
Jeremy: That was so obvious that everyone was gonna-
Ryan: Uh-oh.
Geoff: Oh shit. Jesus.
Alfredo: Who the fuck just took themselves out?
Ryan: Fucked it up. Fucked it up.
Jack: Goddammit.
Alfredo: Nope. Bye!
Jeremy: Bye, Alfredo!
Matt: Oh my god. Where the fuck are we supposed to go?
Jack: Oh shit.
Alfredo: Okay, this is... oh, no.
Ryan: This is interesting. I spawned in a different car than the one that I.
Matt: (inhales) Woah.
Geoff: Yeah, me too. Now I'm in a custom.
Ryan: Yeah.
Alfredo: I need to get some custom cars.
Jeremy: Oop.
Matt: I forgot this had rockets.
Jeremy: It does indeed have rockets.
Alfredo: When does this this thing fucking flip the camera over?
Jeremy: Woah! Shit! Fuck!
Jack: How am I in third? After being fucked so hard in the beginning?
Matt: Woah, god, rockets.
Matt: Blam blam! Oh, shit.
Ryan: Well, I went off in the beginning, so.
Jeremy: Oh Matt!
Matt: It's okay. We hit the turn thing.
Jeremy & Matt: (noises of pain followed by a sound of relief.)
Jack: Did you guys just...
Matt: I can't believe... Yeah.
Ryan: All right.
Jeremy: (effort noises)
Ryan: Who's in, uh, wait.
Jack: (mocks Jeremy's noises.)
Alfredo: Oh shit, third?
Jeremy: (more noises) Transform!
Matt: Oh, we're upside down.
Geoff: I don't think anybody's really in anything. I just went from fifth to third to first to fifth.
Matt: What?
Ryan: All right. It's Jack in front of me.
Jeremy: "I don't think anybody's in anything..."
Ryan: (whispering)
Jack: Goddammit, Ryan's behind me.
Ryan: (humming Star Wars theme.)
Alfredo: (hits three high notes.)
Ryan: (singing to Star Wars theme:) I'm on a trench run, gonna kill Jack, gonna bomb.
Geoff: (laughs)
Matt: You fucker!
Jeremy: (laughs)
Matt: You get your fucking propeller out of my asshole.
Jeremy: Goddammit.
Matt: That's what you get.
Jeremy: Come here Matt...
Matt: Oh, there are a lot of us here.
Ryan: (singing)
Jeremy: Gotta get you before Ryan gets here.
Ryan: (singing) I see all them, I see all of them, here I come.
Geoff: Ryan's goddamn--
Matt: Oh! Ah!
Ryan: (laughing maniacally)
Matt: I'm scared.
Jack: Shit.
Ryan: (Yoda voice) Should be, you.
Jack: Jeremy!
Jeremy: Ha, took a swing, Jack.
Jeremy: Nope, nope, you're not allowed above me.
(laughter)
Matt: Phew, I thought I exploded but I transformed.
Geoff: Fucked that up, Geoff!
Matt: God, I can't keep up with you guys on those fucking bikes!
Ryan: Whee-hee-hee-hee!
Jeremy: Come here, Ryan. Woah, shit!
Alfredo: Woah. Oh, hey, there you guys are!
Ryan & Jeremy: Woah, woah!
Alfredo: There's... fifth...
Jack: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Matt: Goddammit.
Jeremy: Oh, what a yummy little slipstream!
Matt: You're too fucking fast!
Ryan: Wait for it. Wait for the moment. Wait for the moment.
Jeremy: Oh, no!
Ryan: The moment!
Matt: Ah, helicopters, my moment.
Geoff: All right, Ryan, it's time for you to destroy everybody.
Ryan: Um. There they are. Well, unfortunately the helicopters are also the least likely for that to happen.
Geoff: No, Alfredo did a great job of it.
Jeremy: It's a difficult one.
Matt: If you don't try.
Ryan: Ow! That was you hitting me.
Jeremy: Oh, man.
Ryan: It was a nice try, though.
Ryan: Ooh, look at Jeremy. So fast.
Jack: Ah!
Matt: Oh, my god!
(laughter)
(laughter)
Matt: You still managed to hit him.
Ryan: Oh boy, oh boy, this one's not gaining a lot of altitude, though.
Alfredo: So far behind...
Ryan: I think I'm a little messed up.
Ryan: Ooo-oo-oo-oo-ooh.
Jeremy: Oh, I think that's the end right there.
Ryan: Is it? Aww..
Jack: Oh, goddammit.
Jeremy: Aw, man.
Matt & Ryan: Yeah, that is.
Jeremy: Ain't that a fucking shame.
Matt: Dammit, Jeremy.
Jeremy: Ooooh, god!
Jeremy: So close to the ground. Woo!
Alfredo: Oh, man.
Geoff: Alfredo, how'd you get ahead of me?
Alfredo: I don't know.
(Yells and laughter.)
Matt: I finish and see you two come scraping in.
Jack: I bounced across the end.
Ryan: I tried to cut him at the last second.
Jack: Did I come in third or fourth? I don't know.
Ryan: I don't know. You and me went through about the same time.
Alfredo: (cheering)
Jeremy: Oh man, look at Alfredo and Geoff. Neck and neck!
Alfredo: Neck and neck!
Jack: Oh do it!
Geoff: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Alfredo: How the... how the fuck! Ahhh! The last game!
Matt: The last second.
Jeremy: Alfredo hit the ground and flipped.
Alfredo: (anguished noises)
Jeremy: Totally upside down.
Alfredo: ( more anguished noises)
Geoff: (cheering)
Jeremy: Wow, I didn't think you could finish that race upside-down but. Proved me wrong.
Matt: He found a way.
Alfredo: Oooh, I hate this game.
Jeremy: Oh, god.
Geoff: I wish that was a GTA race.
Matt: It's all you, man.
Jeremy: Why?
Ryan:Me too.  I made it one.
Geoff: It's true. You did your damnedest, Ryan.
Matt: In a way.
Geoff: Okay, let's see, did I win?
Jack: 4500. That bullshit.
Ryan: I came out with two kills.
Alfredo: At least two. Maybe?
Matt: You killed me twice!
Jack: Goddammit, second again!
Ryan: Three kills.
Jeremy: Ah, J.
Ryan: How'd I kill you twice, Matt?
Matt: Oh, no, I blew up on a separate occasion. I'm sorry.
Ryan: Unrelated to me.
Jack: Alfredo! So bad!
Alfredo: Twenty points? Twenty?
Jeremy: Twenty points.
Jack: You came in sixth. You had half of what Geoff had in fourth, fifth!
Alfredo: I'm on the board, though.
Jeremy: There's the kiss. There's the kiss.
Matt:  You know, that's fair, though. You're on the board.
Alfredo: You know?
Geoff: It's the thought that counts.
Matt: That's a way to look at it, yeah.
Jeremy: All right, transform number two!
Matt: Let's stop.
(Outro music)
