

### Guide for Dumb Crooks

Copyright 2014 Kenneth Gilleo

Published by Kenneth Gilleo at Smashwords

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Table of Contents

Preface

Dedication

About the author

Other books by this author

**1** Case of the Skin Deep Confessions

**2** The Telling Teller and the I-risk of i-Bragging

**3** A Real Basket Case

**4** Crook Stubs Big Tow in Florida

**5** Case of the Over Charging Robber

**6** Case of the Over-weight Suitcase – a Shut and Opened Case

**7** A Clean Get-a-Way?

8 Don't Pepper the Cops

9 Getting the Dough but Left Holding the Bag

10 The Idea That Just Kept On Growing

11 Being a Queen on Camera can be a Drag

12 The Great Cheesecake Bandit Capture

13 Texting Can Leave You Holding the Bag

14 Case of the Porno Phone Exposure

15 OnStar is Here to Help or StopU2

16 The Crappy Carpet Caper

17 Honey, I Blew Up my Sex Mate

18 Try Sticking Up a Bank with a Checkbook

19 Cabby Bags Bag-toting Bumblers

20 Not a Laughing Matter

21 Don't Throw in the Towel

22 Don't Bank on an Old Getaway Car

23 Ice Heist Screamers

24 Look Ma, No Prints

25 Meeting Your Match

26 The Case of Michigan's Flying Gator

27 Banana Splits with Gorilla

28 High for Pills?

29 Don't Rob Metals from a Guy with Mettle

30 Cops Can Help You Even if You're Dopey

31 Smart Enough to Outsmart Himself

32 The Digital Bloodhound

33 Honk for Tickets

34 You Have the Right to Remain Silent

35 Be On the Lookout

36 Video Justice

37 The Vanity Bandit

38 Pull Over, Not Run Over

39 This Here Ain't No Motocross

40 If it isn't One Thing, it's Another and Another

41 Bungling Burglar Left Hanging

42 Know When to Pit and When to Cross the Line

43 Don't Play Games with an Professional Gamer

44 Let's Play Password

45 Can You Outrun a GPS Tracker, a Chopper and K-9s?

46 Videographer Becomes Video Hit with the Judge

47 Catch Me if You Can

48 Case of the Copycat Taunter?

49 Smile for the Live Cameras you're Stealing

50 We Dig this Video

51 Nice Bracelet

52 Batman Made Me Do It

53 A History Lesson for Counterfeiters

54 Don't Shoot Yourself in the Foot - Period

55 Be Careful How You Stay Cool

56 Small Town Detective Catches Big Forger

57 The Find My Truck App

58 An Apple Catches Thieves

59 How to Locate your Local Chopshop

60 Getting Caught When the Chips are Down

61 We are Watching You from Space

62 Case of the Sleeping Plumber

63 It's a Bird, its Superman, no; it's Really a Plane

64 Let me Help You in

65 Case of the Unlucky Opportunistic Crook

66 Cop Shop

67 We Got the Drop on You

68 CraigsBust

69 Carjacker Special Delivery

70 Getting a Little Smarter can be a Lot Dumber

71 Gumshoes Get Gumby

72 It's Another Bird, it's Another Superman, no, it's

73 A Goldilocks Story?

74 Check Out Your CrookBook (Facebook) Pictures

75 Bowling for Quarters

76 Add Littering to that Charge

77 Stuck Stick Shift Stickup Sucks

78 Gas and Go to Jail

79 Dialing for Dollars or Doughnuts

80 Taking the Bite Out of Crime in Florida

81 Guns, Bat and a Knife

82 Me Wanted by the Sheriff

83 Making Bad Moves

84 Case of the Mustachioed Masquerader

85 Face Booking

86 Mr. Goldilocks II

87 Too Much Safe Keeping

88 Dumbest Crook Award from Smartest Cop

89 Cat Burglar Almost Becomes Gator Food

90 Slam, Bam, no Thank You Mam

91 You're On Candid Cop Camera

92 Vacationing Scammer Caught on Facebook

93 Know Your Opponent

94 Hold Up Foiled by Fall Guy

95 Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

96 Cool Crook Caught by a Hot Cucumber

97 Case of the Wayward Santa

98 When Crime is Afoot, call in the Gumshoes

99 The Incriminating Disguise

100 Angler Caught by a Fish?

### PREFACE

Do most crooks perform incredibly dumb acts because they want to be caught? Or maybe, they're really that dumb. But it could be a combination and one that's synergistic. Whatever the reason for leaving evidence behind, even wallets, business cards, car keys and such, the bad guys do some hilarious stuff that gets them caught and provides entertainment for readers. Some have even called 911. But really bad guys, including murderers, have also tipped off the cops by their dumb acts to provide fascinating cases. We've included a few of these tragic cases that are not funny at all, but show the cleverness of law enforcement. Here is a collection of such acts of "dumity" that go beyond stupidity, even acquired stupidity. These acts provide the basis for rules to guide the inept crook (this just sarcasm – not really help for crooks – OK!). We'll start with one devoid of humor where a cold case murderer was identified and convicted through the crook's own very graphic and ineffaceable confession. But it took some clever analysis and these LA Sheriffs can match any "Sherlock".

### DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to Law Enforcement Officers around the world, affectionately known as LEOs. The case histories present contrasts that result from confrontations between dumb crooks and smart LEOs. While the theme is humorous, we need not forget that our LEOs are in constant danger while they work hard to keep us safe and make the world a better place.

**All of the author's proceeds will be donated to the** **Florida Sheriffs Association** (FSA), a non-profit professional association of Florida's 67 elected Sheriffs, along with approximately 3,500 business leaders and 70,000 citizens throughout the state.

### 100 DECIDEDLY DUMB CASES

**1►Case of the Skin Deep Confessions◄**

**NORWALK, California** – Norwalk is less than a half-hour from downtown Los Angeles. The city has a long history as a film location and such classics as The Postman Always Rings Twice, The Karate Kid, CHiPs episodes and about two-dozen others have used this place as a setting. A Southern California gang member got his just due when he was convicted of first degree murder. It took many years to discover his identity even though he "wrote" his confession long before the cops had him fingered for the crime. And to be sure, it was the killer's own arrogant actions that helped convict him of the murder of 23-year old John Juarez, a rival gang member.

Los Angeles County sheriff's homicide division Sergeant Kevin Lloyd was preparing to testify as an expert witness in a gang case. He was reviewing police albums of tattoos for the upcoming case. He had gone through hundreds of photos that had been compiled over many years. Suddenly, an image jumped out! The detective was propelled back in time as he stared at the large color print showing the upper body of a notorious criminal. Decorating the chest of the dark-haired man was a tattoo that stretched all the way across from his neck and shoulder to his chest and arm. The seemingly bizarre tattoo included a liquor store that looked vaguely familiar because there were Christmas lights on the store roof laid out in an unusual fashion. But there was also an old style curved light post - and there were street signs. All of his began to jog the detective's memory. Indeed, Sergeant Lloyd recognized this place – it was in the city of Pico Rivera, an LA suburb. Lloyd had worked that area four years earlier and realized that he could identify the exact spot. But why would anyone have a tattoo of such an ordinary place? But closer inspection of the tattoo depicted gunfire. The tattoo on Anthony Garcia could be a crime scene. The tattoo showed a "Mr. Peanut" character getting shot from a helicopter near the liquor store. The tattoo not only gave the specific location, it told a story – MURDER!

This detailed tattoo showed the victim, a "Mr. Peanut" character, getting shot from a helicopter under the banner, "Rivera Kills." The symbols were all there and the detective could read them – _just like a murder script_. Lloyd knew that "peanut" was a term for a rival gang and "Chopper" was the nickname of this crook with the tattoo, Anthony Garcia. And Garcia was the leader of a gang known as 13. The record showed that Rivera at was the scene of the crime. The detective was shocked by the "story" that the tattoo suggested. It all started coming back. The Sergeant remembered standing in the exact position shown in the tattoo and looking at this homicide scene. In a flash, Lloyd knew he had just solved an old murder. But there was much work ahead.

The tattoo had been photographed by deputies in Pico Rivera after Garcia was booked on the simple charge of driving on a suspended license. Law enforcement takes photos of tattoos to help identify individuals who will likely break the law again. Gang members often upgrade their "street credentials" with tattoos that include crimes carried out and prisons occupied.

Anthony Garcia, age 25, was finally convicted of the old murder that he displayed across his chest like – a "written" confession that shouted, "I'm guilty." He was sentenced in Norwalk, CA and faces a long prison term.

The state prosecutor explained how he got the conviction. Garcia became the states exhibit because he had all the crime details on his body. The murder victim was actually shown to be falling down at the exact place he was found. The copter (the murderer) is shooting from the right to the left – just like it happened. There is even a curve to the light post, which is a pretty unusual type of light post – this clinched the location. The tattoo scene was identical to the real crime scene where an unarmed rival gang member was ambushed and gunned down outside Ed's Liquor. Before the shooting, the victim was on the telephone in a nearby phone booth. After hanging up, he was walking away when Garcia approached and used the common gang phrase, "Where are you from?" before firing. Garcia didn't have a personal connection to the victim who just happened to be in an area that Garcia's gang had claimed as its turf. Ironically, Detective Lloyd had talked to the victim, a guy named Juarez, just a week before the shooting. The detective wanted him to quit the gang before he got killed. Juarez agreed.

The case had remained unsolved for several years because there were no witnesses. After Lloyd started on the case, the Sheriff's Department worked undercover and obtained a confession from Garcia. The getaway driver also implicated Garcia to avoid receiving a maximum sentence. The tip-off to the murderer was in the tattoo files and it had been there for years, but it was a piece of luck, a good memory and a sharp detective that made the connections. During the trial, jurors were shown a series of Garcia's booking photos, taken for other offenses after the murder. Each photo showed the tattoo updates -- how different elements were added at each point in time. They also had a photo of Garcia at the beach before the murder – with no tattoo.

So why did Garcia get caught? First, it was blatant arrogance - bragging about the crime graphically – "Look at me - the killer". He got away with this murder for awhile," But although the killer wasn't exactly stupid, his actions certainly were, from committing a stupid and pointless crime to brazenly displaying the story.

**RULE:** **If you tattoo your confession, your body becomes evidence.**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**2►The Telling Teller and the I-risk of i-Bragging◄**

**HOUSTON, Texas** – This location is the fourth largest city in the United States and the largest one in Texas with a population of over 2-million and a metro area size of 6-million people. The city was named after General Sam Houston who was president of the Republic of Texas and the hero who won the Battle of San Jacinto

Two people, Estefany Martinez and Ricky Gonzalez, were charged with staging a Texas bank heist. OK maybe that's not big news since bank robbing is quite popular in the Lone Star state. A typical count shows that more than 5,600 banks are relieved of cash each year by crooks netting the bank robbers millions of dollars. Texas is right up there at #2. [California is #1 for bank robberies according to the FBI].

This heist was a little different than most hold-ups. One robber took money from the International Bank of Commerce in Houston while the other ordered the tellers to place money from the vault into a bag. The tellers, the only people in the bank at the time of the robbery, remained in the vault and later called 911. Well, it still sounds like an ordinary enough robbery, but let's follow the trail of evidence.

While the robbery might seem _run of the mill,_ there was a mastermind. It turned out that a friend of the crooks, Anna Margarita Rivera, came up with the plan. Anna Margarita had been a bank teller during a previous bank robbery. But since the case was unsolved, she decided that bank robbing was not all that hard. So Ms Rivera told her wannabe bank robber friends that "staging the robbery would be easy,".

Estefany Martinez said the plan was for her and Ricky Gonzalez (aka Ricky Gee) to pick a day where they would both be working the late shift and they would stage the robbery near closing time, thus minimizing the chances of any customers being in the bank. Gonzalez and Arturo Solano, Rivera's brother, were recruited. Bank surveillance video showed two masked and armed men entering the bank near closing. They jumped over the counter and demanded money and got it.

The robbery went down and the robbers got clean away – the simple plan had worked. But the robbers were easily caught. Ricky Gonzalez, age 18, and girlfriend Estefany Danelia Martinez, age 19, were both charged with the crime. So what went wrong with the great plan? Well, Ms Martinez worked for this bank and that's the first place that detectives look. But the pair made it easier for the cops.

Both were fans of Facebook - FB for short. Just two days before the heist, bank teller Martinez wrote, "Get $$$(;.,". But boyfriend Ricky also posted on FB the day after the robbery, "Wipe my teeth with hundreds." He actually had some spelling mistakes that may have given clues. His bad spelling continued with "U have to past the line sometimes!! To get dis money," Is his accent showing yet? Ricky added a clincher the next day with, "I'm rich", right on his own FB page. The other stuff he posted is too vulgar to print. Adding to the portrait of his personal character is his Facebook page information under employer: "Make money both ways Dirty and Clean!!"

So did FB postings give them away? Absolutely! According to court documents, these postings, plus an anonymous Crime Stoppers tip (a nice FB "friend"), landed the pair and two others in custody. And the tip was based on reading the Facebook postings, and yes, "friend" is an ambiguous term on FB. The informant advised that there was information about the bank heist on Facebook. The girlfriend also provided a second trail just in case detectives were not paying attention. A few days after the robbery, and before she was caught, Ms. Martinez had spent part of her bank money share getting Rickey Gee out of jail. Rickey had been arrested in a motel on a marijuana charge a few days after the robbery and he had about $10,800 in cash. Girlfriend had a similar amount, minus the bonding fee. And, the "friend" got a reward and we can wonder what he posted. The photo is from the crooks FB page. Maybe he's working on a new disguise or has a dumb photo app.

**RULE: Y** **ou can't Brag without Confessing.**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**3►A Real Basket Case◄**

**LAX AIRPORT, California- LAX** , or Los Angeles International Airport is the sixth busiest airport in the world but holds the claim for "the world's busiest origin and "destination airport" in 2011. It has the most non-connecting passengers. Anyway you look at it, this is one busy airport and strange things happen here.

Esteban Galtes was busted in December, close to Christmas, for transporting highly unusual Easter eggs on a plane as he went through LAX security. Agents were suspicious right away. First, Easter eggs weren't exactly in season so near the Christmas season. Next, there were a lot of eggs, dozens and dozens. The eggs were also unusual, kind of heavy, but Esteban said they were candy-filled, and for his children. But the Easter egg case was about to be cracked before the New Year dawned and excuses weren't going to fly and neither was Galtes. Turns out the eggs were worth $100,000 because they were filled with cocaine. According to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, "Drug traffickers are always trying novel ways to conceal their contraband. But cocaine camouflaged as Easter candy is one of the more unusual tactics we've come across". Obviously two days before Christmas, this defendant didn't expect his trip would end with federal officers conducting an Easter egg hunt." Galtes brought in close to 14 pounds of coke in his luggage, with some of it hidden in a paper shopping bag. The man was traveling from Colombia, another "red flag". The white powder was worth about $100,000 on the streets.

But on May 2011, Galtes who had smuggled cocaine hidden inside phony Easter eggs was sentenced in Los Angeles to three years in prison. A federal judge gave 23-year-old Esteban Galtes a break before handing down the sentence. The judge took into consideration the dudes "somewhat limited" role as a "drug mule" transporting drugs from Colombia into the United States, and noted that he had no prior criminal record.

So what's the message? Well, it's not "Don't put all your eggs in one basket", since Galtes stashed them in several places. How about,

RULE: Don't Leave Home without your Holiday Calendar.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**4►Crook Stubs Big Tow in Florida◄**

**WEST PALM BEACH, Florida** – Here's one more from Florida that is the unofficial capital of _loony crooks_ – and maybe it's the Disney effect. West Palm Beach is the oldest large municipality in South Florida, even older than Miami. It's a beautiful place in so many ways, so we can wonder why our crook wanted to depart for New York.

A tow truck driver had responded to a call for help for a woman who said that her rental car was broken down on I-95. A deputy had spotted a disabled vehicle on northbound I-95 and pulled over, checked on the driver and radioed in a request for a tow truck. Everything seemed to be OK, so the deputy then left because the tow truck would soon arrive.

Sure enough, a few minutes later a wrecker from Universal Towing arrived. The tow truck operator thought that this looked like just one of many routine calls that came in every day. The woman was friendly and had a good sense of humor. So when she asked if she could take his yellow flatbed truck to New York, the driver, thinking she was joking, said "sure." "I thought she was playin',"

But the shocked tow truck operated watched the woman drive away in his tow truck that morning. He had turned his back for a second and Angela Estrella jumped into the tow truck and sped away northbound, maybe for New York. "Boss, you're not going to believe this, but our truck is going to New York and I'm watching it drive away." Well, this should be an easy catch – a bright yellow Tow Truck! But it was even easier.

The truck had antitheft technology. The wrecker company tracked the vehicle's GPS, and Estella was found at a gas station in Palm Coast. She was arrested and charged with grand theft of a motor vehicle. But the 37-year-old women had an excuse. She had politely asked if the driver could take her to New York. He said that he couldn't go that far. Next, she asked if she could take his truck. Of course, he didn't take her seriously and said "sure." She responded, "Really?" The driver told her no and then used his cell phone to call the rental car company that owned the broken down vehicle. When his back was turned, Estrella got into the wrecker and drove away, nearly side-swiping a semi truck in the process. The tow truck company was able to track the tow with a GPS system. When the image on the computer screen stopped at a gas station at Palm Coast, it was all over. A Flagler County Sheriff's deputy found Estrella inside the store buying diesel. A Volusia County deputy then responded and arrested Estrella, who refused to make a statement about the theft. She was booked and transferred to the Volusia County Branch Jail.

Was the lady just confused, thinking she had borrowed the truck and was not really a crook? No way! She had been on the run before, with pending charges in Osceola County for a high-speed chase that include attempted second-degree murder with a weapon, vehicular homicide and aggravated assault. During the chase, the lady hit 112 miles per hour while her two children were in the car.

RULE: Learn to Toe the Line Instead of Truckin' the Tow.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**5►Case of the Over Charging Robber◄**

**PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island** \- Providence is the capital and most populous city in the smallest state of Rhode Island and was one of the first cities established in the United States. The city is named in honor of "God's merciful Providence".

The attempted holdup occurred in the historic city of Providence on a pleasant day in early spring. Dino Celseti tried to hold up the 7 - Eleven store on Atwells Avenue early in the morning. So what's so unusual? After all, convenience stores are a typical target and the late night/early morning time slots are a popular time because no one's around.

Well, it was the weapon used in the crime. Guns, knives and even clubs are common, but Dino had something unusual – jumper cables. The cops aren't even sure what _charges_ to bring. Is it assault with a dangerous weapon? _Assault and battery_ without the battery? We'll have to wait for the trial and not _jump_ to conclusions. But our robber did use jumper-cables, or at least a clamp, to threaten the store clerk and take off with more than $200 from the register. Maybe he thought it would look like a tasar, or the clerk would fear being pinched. But he didn't get very far, and this was his own doing.

It seems that Celseti left the keys to his getaway car inside the store. Maybe he should have worked with the Rhode Island robbers that couldn't get their getaway car started [#22 - Don't Bank on an Old Getaway Car]. So there was our jumper crook looking for his keys when officers arrived on the scene and promptly took Celseti into custody – at gunpoint. Well, they jumped the jump crook and not his car – and yes, he got pinched.

You are probably better off with no weapon, like, just fake it, instead of something as absurd as jumper cables. Some clerks are packing guns and you never want to get caught with your cables down in a gun fight. The second rule is easy – keep your keys in your pocket, or leave the thing running unless you're worried about car jackers.

RULES: Don't Bring Jumper Cables to a Gun Fight.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**6►Case of the Over-weight Suitcase – a Shut and Opened Case◄**

**MEXICO** \- Mexican police arrested a bulging and overweight woman wheeling a bulging and overweight suitcase out of a Chetumal state prison - Centro de Rehabilitación Social, aka the "Cereso") on the Yucatán Peninsula.

While wives can make an overnight conjugal stay to visit an incarcerated husband, they don't need a mega-size suitcase with wheels. And this suitcase was bulging and even seemed to be "restless". Something was not right, even by Mexican prison standards. But the young lady had trouble getting the suitcase up the stairs and when she missed a step, the suitcase hopped like a Mexican jumping bean. The prison staff also thought the hefty woman looked nervous as she struggled with a bulky black suitcase and it wasn't just their licentious stares.

When guards checked the bag of 19-year-old Maria del Mar Arjona, they found inmate Juan Ramirez Tijerina curled up inside in the fetal position. Ramirez, a member of Mexico's Sinaloa drug cartel, is serving a 20-year sentence for a 2007 conviction and the couple decided that the wait was too long. Depending on Mexican justice, the couple may be reunited again, and share the same residence. Arjona was arrested and charges are pending. The whole thing must have been embarrassing for Juan who is reported to be a big shot in the Mexican prison where inmates run the show to a large extent.

Photo credit: Quintana Roo Department of Public Security.

RULE: Pack Light or Pack it up.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**7►A Clean Get-a-Way?◄**

**FREMONT, New Hampshire** \- The area was once famous for its high-quality eastern white pine trees that had been reserved for use as ship masts of the Royal Navy. But residents began to use the wood for home construction and couldn't care less about the Royal Navy. So when the surveyor-general visited to inspect lumber, local citizens assembled, discharged firearms and dispersed the King's men to a local tavern. This insurrection would be known as the Mast Tree Riot. So don't expect to get away with anything in this town

Police in Fremont were trying to solve a crime spree that left few clues. Vehicles were being broken into and police were looking for the get-a-way vehicle since no one had been seen walking on roads that could be connected to incidents. It probably was a pickup truck, so popular in this region. Or maybe an SUV, good for stashing loot without looking too obvious. But with smaller items, it could be an ordinary car. Then, one detective started wondering if the crooks could be using a boat since most of the burglaries were in homes near the Exeter River in the Governor's Forest housing development area. But no one had heard a boat motor including nearby neighbors right on the water. Sailboat? Submarine? OK, maybe not, but something other than a motor boat.

Then, two young men were spotted in a canoe on the Exeter near the crime area. "How come you have a TV in that there canoe?" Good question since it wasn't a portable TV. Now, Fremont police say they believe two men, in their early 20s, used a canoe to paddle up to the backs of homes along the river and steal items, including a car. A car? Right, one paddled and the other peddled away in the car. Police have identified the thieves as two men from Derry who were dropped off in Raymond for a three-day canoe and camping trip down the Exeter River. Police said the men entered up to nine cars, rummaged through items, and stole cash and electronic items including iPods. The men are also believed to have stolen a black Subaru from one house. Police said it appears the pair took the vehicle for a joyride, putting 100 miles on the vehicle, before returning it to an area near the home with extensive damage and mud all over the vehicle. We couldn't find a picture of the loaded canoe, but they may have graduated from Kayak Crimes.

RULE: Crime in a Canoe can send you up the Creek without a Paddle.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**8►Don't Pepper the Cops◄  
**

_SAN DIEGO, California_ _-_ San Diego is a beautiful city on the coast of the Pacific Ocean in Southern California adjacent to the Mexican border and with a population of over one and a quarter million people.

California Highway Patrol Officer Ken Jackman was walking home on a Wednesday evening in Old Town. Suddenly, he was confronted by three people. The officer sized them up as they approached and didn't think they appeared suspicious. He thought they were nonchalant, not aggressive, just walking and talking - good kids. As they passed, one of them turned and asked the CHP officer what time it was. But when the officer pulled out his cell phone, this young dude, named Angel, shot him with pepper spray – aka Mace or OC spray. But 21-year old Angel Blanco, wanted money. This off-duty officer, like many others, carries a gun at all times. But Jackman kept his cool through the tears. He backed up, reached for his firearm, identified himself as a police officer and ordered the assailant to the ground. The attacker immediately complied while his two companions ran like Hell. Once the perpetrator was on the ground with the officer's foot on his neck, Jackman called authorities. The surprised Angel was easily taken into custody when confronted with a loaded service weapon held by someone who knew how to shoot.

The accused sprayer pleaded not guilty to robbery and use of a deadly weapon charges. Bet you didn't know _pepper spray was a deadly weapon_. In most places, it's OK to use it in self-defense, but it becomes a felony if you use it as a weapon or for a crime. The two other people with Blanco fled and are still at large and the silent Angel will likely get a tougher sentence for his "no snitch" act. There are at least three other cases throughout San Diego County in which the same method of operation was used. Earlier, two suspects got out of a black four-door sedan in Old Town and walked up to a 38-year-old man, sprayed him in the face with pepper spray and demanded cash. The victim refused to comply and was sprayed a second time. Well, either this guy was really tough, or the spray was wimpy. The suspects decided to flee without any cash or property from the victim. The pepper crime wave seems to have fizzled since Dr. Pepper Spray was caught and couldn't raise $75,000 bail.

Another thing that the sprayer crook didn't know is that officers are sprayed with the irritant when they train. But most, including Jackman, inhaled pepper spray many times while on-duty. "It still hurts, but you get use to it." But if the 6 feet 2 inches tall, 220 pound assailant didn't comply, he would probably be shot since officers always assume hidden weapons. And sure enough, they found a knife in Angel's pocket. But Officer Jackman was happy that he was the target. "I'm glad he found me instead of an innocent person that he could have hurt, so chalk one up for the good guys."

RULE: Never Bring a Knife and Spray Can to a Gunfight.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**9►Getting the Dough but Left Holding the Bag◄**

**HYANNIS, Massachusetts** \- Hyannis is the commercial and transportation hub of Cape Cod and sometimes referred to as the "Capital of the Cape". One of their best known products is Cape Cod Potato Chips. Even John F. Kennedy spent time in the town and this is reflected by a memorial to President Kennedy on the Lewis Bay waterfront. We don't know if he bought chips, however. While Hyannis is a fine place to visit or reside, there's crime here too. But it tends to be petty stuff with rather unsophisticated crooks. And traffic can make a get-a-way kind of tough.

Three Hyannis men barged into a Dunkin' Donuts with knives and a hatchet as they staged a stupidly, but daring holdup. Right, this is a cop hangout. Police say masked and armed men demanded a paper bag that was in one of the worker's purses. The master mind crook figured that the owner would make a bank deposit at the end of her shift. They grabbed that bag and high tailed it out of the doughnut shop and then down the street out of sight. But just because Hyannis is a little laid back doesn't mean the stores aren't savvy. And the doughnut shop was no exception. They had a nice compliment of high definition digital security cameras. The men were captured on video and police were able to track them down the very next day.

Police do not take kindly to crooks that are looking for dough in one of their favorite doughnut shops. So how much did they get? Mr. Master Mind crook mistakenly believed the clerk was carrying a bag of cash from the day's receipts. But the crooks never looked inside. Arrested were 19-year-old Nicholas Mercurio, 21-year-old Lukas Peterson and 20-year-old Charles Iliffe. But when cops pinched the Doughboy trio, there was a surprise. And there was a problem coming up with the appropriate charges. Sure, it was armed robbery, two knives and a hatchet, and they sure ran off with the dough. But here's where it gets sticky. The three crooks had stolen doughnut dough - real dough. They never dreamed that the doughnut diva loved doughnuts. She always took home some doughnuts. Where were the cash receipts? Maybe the crew was eating all the profits.

RULE: Don't Mix Up Dough with Dough, Duh.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**10►The Idea That Just Kept On Growing◄**

**VANCOUVER, Washington** \- Vancouver is a picturesque city on the north bank of the Columbia River and was incorporated in 1857. The city shares its name with the larger city of Vancouver in the Canadian province of British Columbia. Both cities were named in honor of sea captain George Vancouver who must have been some sailor.

Two local guys wanted to make their mark in agriculture, but got carried away. The twosome rented a house with an option to buy, but it never became a home. In fact, it became one big greenhouse. But it was cozy. The tiny living room was equipped with a couch, a table, bottled water and beer. What about the rest of the house? Well, there were 1,600 plants and they were growing quite well inside the building. Police eventually raided the _grow house_. But who tipped them off? First, residents in the Neighborhood Watch Program made a call to police and asked for surveillance. Clark Public Utilities employees also noticed a box set up to divert power before it reached the meter. Plants need a lot of sunlight that is rich in ultraviolet wavelengths to power the plants' photosynthesis. But artificial ultraviolet, or UV, is a power hog and you need plenty of electricity. Illegal growers typically by-pass the electric meter to avoid the hefty bill for all the UV lights and this one would have been hefty. The estimated electric bill in the US for indoor marijuana growing is $5-billion. Many utilities will also report a large spike in electric use to the police since it can be a tipoff for illicit growers.

So what were they growing, as if you haven't already guessed? How about 1,600 marijuana plants in this house in Vancouver. Clark-Skamania Drug Task Force estimated their value at $2.4 million. The growers were nabbed when they drove up to find out what all the commotion was about. The Drug Task Force made other busts in the same year, but even the biggest was only half this size at 839 live marijuana plants with a value of $1.3 million. A fully grown mature plant can be worth $700 to $1,200.

Other than the electric give-away, marijuana growing gives all kinds of signs if you know what to look for. There are often stains on the roof, especially if it is made of tiles. The stains are indicative of moisture seeping from a large marijuana grow. Another tipoff is random occupancy - only occasional visits by owners or renters. With the poor housing market, growers are seeking large houses in affluent neighborhoods with the idea that no one would suspect illegal activities.

The operation can have a level of sophistication. Bedrooms and even walk-in closets were set up with expensive equipment such as grow lights, water pumps, charcoal filters, fans, timers, venting pipes and nutrient-packed grow cubes, which resemble Styrofoam and substitute for soil. Carbon filters, up to one foot in diameter, are used with the air piped up to vent as high as possible to lessen the smell of growing marijuana that neighbors might notice. A large pot farm will give off telltale aromas and the charcoal filters will help remove these odors. Most plants were being grown without soil, using liquid chemical fertilizers that flowed to grow cubes of various sizes. The grow lights were fitted with timers and reflective shields.

RULE: Watch out How you Grow a New Business.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**11►Being a Queen on Camera can be a Drag◄**

**AUBURN,** **Massachusetts** \- Auburn is a colonial town that was settled all the way back in 1789. But Auburn is not just any old Colonial town, no indeed. Rocket star, Robert Goddard, lived there. He is considered to be the father of modern rocketry for launching the first successful liquid-fueled rocket from his Aunt Eiffie's farm in Auburn in 1926. That launch site is a National Historic Landmark. The town proudly hosts the Goddard Memorial Park that has a prototype of this first rocket alongside a big Polaris Ballistic Missile.

Among the shops in Auburn, is Glamour Boutique, originally an Internet on-line shopping store that opened a fancy boutique there in the late 1990's. Later, they opened a store on The Strip in Las Vegas where there was a little more action than Colonial Rocket Town. The boutique specialized in wigs, lingerie and corsets. The company says they are enthusiastic about helping customers find the exact body-shaping, beauty and fashion products they seek – and focused on building lasting customer relationships. Owner John Warrener says his clients include women and some men who enjoy the good old alternative lifestyle. The clientele, whether they are girls or boys, or in between, are well behaved and a friendly fun-loving bunch. So, the storeowner was rather surprised by a recent robbery in Auburn. But this was not your ordinary style _Plain Jane_ stickup. Shockingly, the Boutique was ripped off by a group of drag queens. Warrener said that five "guys" he described as "Drag Queen Performers" came into the store and shoplifted a number of items. "When you see people piling things into pocketbooks and stuff like that it really is a shock."

The theft was a coordinated effort that took place while the owner was helping another customer. The next day, he determined that a special ordered wig was missing. But the Drag Queen Performers made an appearance on stores security cameras. The owner immediately recognized three of the "boys" and was able to identify the other two. Maybe it was just a dress, or undress, rehearsal?

RULE: When on Camera, make sure you're not Dramatizing Evidence for the Judge.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

12►The Great Cheesecake Bandit Capture◄

**ASHEVILLE, North Carolina** – Asheville does have something to brag about. First, its home to the United States National Climatic Data Center (NCDC), the world's largest active archive of weather data. But wait, there's more. Asheville has managed some impressive titles that include, "New Freak Capital of the U.S.", "Happiest City for Women", and one of the "Best Places to Reinvent Your Life", but most impressive, it has kept the championship title, "Beer City USA" each year starting in 2009.

The local police were befuddled when a man broke in to the restaurant, ate half of a cheesecake and drank four bottles of beer. First, beer and cheesecake don't go together that well, and the crook had plenty of other items on the menu at Fisherman's Quarters Restaurant. Beer is a common choice, but cheesecake is not. So, of course, he was designated as the Cheesecake Bandit and the crime was "theft by consumption" – yup, a genuine charge. The bungler didn't seem to pay much attention to the burglar alarm, either, but he may have thought the whoop sound was part of the atmosphere.

Asheville Police arrested the "Cheesecake Bandit", a 51-year old guy named Curtis Montgomery. He wasn't hard to find, just follow a trail of cheesecake droppings. Our crook was hiding in a storeroom near the back of the restaurant. Montgomery had minor cuts on his elbow from breaking in to the business and a telltale ring of cheesecake – "Got Cheesecake"! He was charged with Felony Breaking and Entering, Larceny after Breaking and Entering and Injury to Personal Property. They didn't charge him with bad taste, but maybe cheesecake and beer isn't that bad after all. He was deposited into the Buncombe County Jail with bond set at $3,000. Although Montgomery isn't the first Cheesecake Bandit, he is in a class by himself, at least in the USA. Australia did have a case of a bakery break-in where cheesecake was stolen, but so was some loot. But most cheesecake and pastry crooks grab cold cash, not hot baked goods.

RULE: Soothed by Alarms while Eating Stolen Goods? Consider a Career Change.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**13►Texting Can Leave You Holding the Bag◄**

**ASHEVILLE, North Carolina** – Hey, we're back here again, so what is this, a crime spree in Asheville? Maybe it's a coincidence, or maybe Asheville has weird crooks. Recall that the town is the home of the world's largest weather data base. Yup, home of NCDC – National Climactic Data Center. Since weathermen can drive you crazy, maybe there's something weird going on. Anyway, here's another caper from this charming southern city. The Asheville Citizen-Times reported the manager of a Dollar Tree store was leaving the business on a Saturday night when two men pulled up in a car and threatened him with a gun. They demanded the bag containing the night's bank deposit. So far, this is a common modus operandi, the old night receipts stickup. And they escaped with about $1700, a lot of dollars for the night perhaps proving that money grows on Dollar Trees.

The cops had two suspects, but not a strong case to tie them to the heist. And they might just be barking up the wrong Tree. Detectives investigated the robbery and interviewed all Dollar Tree employees. An alert investigating officer noticed one store employee, named Cameron, acting very nervous. A first-rate detective is a good psychologist and an expert at reading character as well as body language. The officers asked if they could check the guy's cell phone. Was this dick psychic, or what? A quick look at text messages "sent" showed that the bank employee had sent a note telling the two suspects when the manager was leaving the store. BINGO! A written confession and the ID of accomplices. The two holdup men where easily tracked down and locked up. Cops were pretty sure they had the right dudes from the manager's detailed descriptions. Long-haired Dominick had a hair style that's been out of fashion for a while – even in Ashville. The worker and the two men were charged with robbery with a dangerous weapon. Well, it appears that you can't always judge a man by his name, especially Cameron Sharpe. But in the case of the other robber, David Michael Dull, maybe so, since he had spent over a year in jail for a similar crime.

RULE: Whether you're Sharpe or Dull, Texting while Heisting can be Dangerous.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**14►Case of the Porno Phone Exposure◄**

**FOLSOM, California** \- The city of Folsom is well known for its famous Folsom Prison. Johnny Cash helped memorialize the city and its old prison with "Folsom Prison Blues", a major hit back in the 1960's. The big prison, with over 70,000 house guests, was built way back in 1880. One of the city's residents, 24-year Taylor James, had no idea that he might be going to get an invite to see the inside of those old walls.

All Mr. James did was lose his phone on the way back from some errands. Lose a phone today, and it's usually gone and you might even get a few unexpected charges if you don't move quickly. But it appeared that Mr. James was lucky when the maintenance crew found the phone in a parking lot. The honest crew wanted to get the phone back to the owner right away and decided to try and locate a home number or address. Well, calling the cell phone number didn't work, so one of the men attempted to open up the address book. But he ended up looking at some graphic files – very graphic. That's when the good Samaritans decided to let the police find the rightful owner.

And the police were very efficient at locating Mr. James. In fact, they decided to make a home visit. When they arrived at the man's home, he was happy to see his phone, but not so pleased with the questioning. It seems that the phone contained 40 pornographic photos. And these photos were to become a big problem for the phone's owner. All the photos were of children. Mr. James was arrested for possession of obscene matter depicting persons under 14 years of age and this is a big deal. James was booked into the Sacramento County Jail and held on $50,000 bail. But what if the guy didn't put the photos on the phone? Well, that's for the court to decide. But associates wanted to expose this perp, and posted comments from those claiming to know the guy said he was "baaad" news right out of high school.

RULE: No Password? Then so not Pass Go.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**15► OnStar is Here to Help or StopU2◄**

**LOUISVILLE, Kentucky** – Louisville is the largest city in the state of Kentucky and when the metro area is included, the population is well over 1-million people. This city has the distinction of being named for the King of France, Louis XVI. The city is famous for many things, especially the Kentucky Derby. Louisville has always been progressive and can boast to being the first large space lighted by Edison's light bulb way back in 1883 at the Southern Exposition. So maybe the tech-savvy history just makes its citizens above average when it comes to high tech.

Ryan Roge kept thinking about the Chevy Equinox. The car is a good-looking crossover with upscale styling and slung low to the ground. The performance is impressive for an SUV type vehicle that boasts 32 MPG highway and a highway driving range of about 600 miles. Ryan just had to have one and he finally got what he wanted. The car was well equipped and that included OnStar, that neat linkup by satellite (actually, cellular and satellite) you've seen demonstrated in TV ads. OnStar has a host of impressive services including _Stolen Vehicle Assistance_ with features like Vehicle Tracking. It has advanced features like Vehicle Slowdown and Ignition Block. A call from the police and the theft services can be activated by satellite - anywhere, anytime.

Unfortunately for Mr. Roge, he made some bad choices. The car he selected was equipped with the full On Star service, generally, a good thing. What made it a bad choice was another bad choice – auto theft. Our car crook, Ryan Roge, didn't get very far, and it's due to modern technology. The arrest report for 46-year-old Ryan, indicated that he was quickly located and stopped so that great driving range of 600 miles was not very useful. Police say Roge was still driving the vehicle when they spotted him. It's probably a good thing since Ryan looks like he needs some rest anyway.

RULE: Two Wrongs can Land you Right in Jail

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**16►The Crappy Carpet Caper◄**

**SACRAMENTO, California** \- Sacramento is the capital of California and is located at the confluence of the Sacramento River and the American River in the northern part of California's Central Valley. Sacramento became a city through the efforts of the Swiss immigrant John Sutter and grew quickly thanks to the protection of Sutter's Fort. During the California Gold Rush, Sacramento was a major distribution point, a commercial and agricultural center, and a terminus for wagon trains, stagecoaches, riverboats, the telegraph, the Pony Express, and the First Transcontinental Railroad.

Sacramento Police were making a routine patrol in the south section of this capital city. Justin Howard was sitting on the sidewalk in front of a home with a backpack. Police wanted to check on his well being. Actually, they wanted to know what the Hell he was up to. But Justin wasn't going to sit around and answer dumb questions, like "What ya packing there, dude?" So, of course, he took off when the cops headed his way. There was a foot-chase, the 2nd most popular _Cops TV_ activity after the ubiquitous high-speed car chase. Now, officers were just a little suspicious, "Why is the dude running like the Hounds of Hell are after his butt", they wondered. One of them thought he recognized the runner as a guy on probation, so a probation search was in order. With all that neck tattoo, it would be hard not to recognize this guy.

And what do you do while running from cops? You throw stuff away. And, just like a script, the cops see you throw stuff away. When the cops found the thrown object was a loaded gun inside a bag, they became a little more suspicious. A parolee with a loaded concealed weapon is not too cool, even in California!

So the cops definitely needed to have a chat with Jason, but inexplicably, this dude had disappeared? He was nowhere in sight and there was nowhere to hide. So, what do cops do on TV? Bring in the dog – another favorite of TV fans. And, just like on TV, the K-9 doggie found the target hiding just down the street in plain sight. Where was he hiding? Well, Jason was underneath a roll of carpet lying on the side of a house. The old sweep me under the carpet trick didn't work. It was an easy task for the K-9 and the exceedingly lumpy crappy carpet was a throw-away give-away.

RULE: Don't Try and Sweep Evidence Under the Carpet, even if it is You.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**17►Honey, I Blew Up my Sex Mate◄**

**WOODBRIDGE, Virginia** \- Woodbridge is only 20 miles from Washington, D.C. making it an ideal DC bedroom community. It's an attractive place bounded by the Occoquan and Potomac rivers. The area takes its name from the 1795 wooden toll bridge built to carry the King's Highway traffic across the Occoquan River.

Police responded to a burglary in the early morning at the MVC Late Night store. That may seem like a weird name for a store, but it makes sense when you consider that it's one of those adult products stores. Officers arrived at the store on Jefferson Davis Highway in the early am hours and saw evidence of a break-in, real obvious evidence. Someone had shattered the glass in the front door and unlocked it to get inside according to Prince William Police. So, where was the crook? With nowhere to hide, maybe the perp had already fled. But, just to be sure, why not let the K-9 squad have a crack at it. A police dog was sent in and soon led officers to a door they hadn't noticed. The dog sure wanted in. "Come out or the dog will bite your butt?" These dogs typically bite arms, not butts. The latter threat has a better psychological effect and off the record, cops may threaten worse locations for the dog attack. The closet door creaked opened and cops were surprised to find two people inside. And, shockingly, they weren't fully clothed. Well, maybe it wasn't really a shock since this was a sex shop.

So, 28-year old Justin, of the Belmont Bay neighborhood, came slowly forward since he had been caught, literally, with his pants down. He was charged with burglary, grand larceny and felony destruction of property. So who was the other person in the tiny closet? Well, it was a rather good-looking woman who decided to remain silent. But on closer inspection, she turned out to be a blow-up doll. So what was Justin, doing, as if we couldn't guess? Our breaking and entering crook "attempted sexual relations" with a blow-up doll, prosecutors said. He was charged with burglary, grand larceny and felony destruction of property. Prosecutors are still looking into assaulting a nude plastic lady, but defense says that such charges may seem _inflated_. And there's no law against two airheads fornicating in a closet, even if it wasn't quite consensual. While this is not the first guy to get in trouble with a blow-up doll, almost all the others were arrested for indecent exposure as they made it with their plastic babe. But Justin seems to be a private guy and maybe a closet polymerphile (loves plastic).

**RULE: Closet Perverts Beware: a K-9 can Blow your Blown Cover**.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**18►Try Sticking Up a Bank with a Checkbook◄**

**ANCHORAGE, Alaska** – It's the northernmost city in the United States with more than 100,000 residents and has a population of more than one quarter million for the total region. Even those are small numbers compared to the lower-forty-eight, Anchorage is Alaska's most populous city boasting about 40% of the state's total population. Only New York City has a higher percentage of residents who live in that state's most populous city.

A guy in a plaid jacket walked into the bank near closing and handed the teller a piece of paper. That's usually the best time to hand a teller a note. Predictably, the note demanded cash. The robber wrote that he needed money to see his mother, maybe not a real bad guy. But then, he threatened to kill the bank clerk, not so nice. "You're getting robbed," stated the note, and added, "...don't ask any questions, my name is Satan, if you don't give me money I will kill you." This guy was some writer. The teller saw the word "kill" repeated several times on the note and stopped reading in order to comply with the demands.

The literary crook, anxious to get things right, started making out a check. "Who do I make the check out to," the robber asked. "First National," the teller replied, now more at ease with the realization that this was one dumb crook. The robber, a guy named Aubrey, signed the check in his own name, writing it to his personal account. Aubrey might have been trying to appear to onlookers as if he was doing legitimate business, or maybe he hadn't thought the whole thing through.

Oops, maybe it's not a good idea to use my real name! The robber suddenly grabbed his demand note and high-tailed it out of the bank. He may have hoped that the teller didn't see his name, but it didn't matter. Aubrey had left the check and it had his account number. He must have dreamed big since the check was written for $1 million. A warrant was issued for his arrest, and the game was up, especially since Alaska is a hard place to hide out. Our crook walked into a church and told someone he had robbed a bank, well almost robbed a bank. Police took him into custody. Aubrey had made things real easy, but even without the account information, cops would have nailed him. He also left a good set of photos behind in the security system [see photo].

RULE: A Successful Robbery Requires a Checklist, not a Check Stub

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**19►Cabby Bags Bag-toting Bumblers◄**

**MALDEN, Massachusetts** – Malden was settled by Puritans way back in 1640 on land purchased from Native Americans in 1629. It was once named, "Best Place to Raise Your Kids" by Bloomberg Business week. So maybe it's just a little surprising that crime happens here. Shortly after midnight, a bright yellow Checker was held up. The cab driver was robbed by a man and a woman he had picked up. This was no ordinary robbery as you'll find out. The woman sat in the front seat while the man opted for the back seat, and this made the veteran cabby a little suspicious. On the way to their destination, the man tried to put a trash bag over the driver's head while both demanded money. Keep in mind that the bag trick is being pulled while the cab is speeding down the street. The cabby hit the brakes and came to a screeching halt – it's kind of hard to drive when you can't see. Our savvy cabbie fought the male suspect in the street while the woman accomplice grabbed some of the cab driver's belongings. Then the two crooks fled. Cops were alerted and arrived quickly. The cabbie was able to give the cops a perfect description.

But the wayward couple wasn't satisfied with just knocking off cabs; they were hitting stores, too, all in the same evening. They were on a roll, even without the cab. The pair was arrested the same night after one of them was caught shoplifting from a grocery store. Initially, police used video footage, photos, and interviews to identify the alleged crooks as Jaime, 34, and Jason, also 34. A few hours later, cops located the couple at the Stop & Shop in Malden. As police arrived, the man was being held for shoplifting in the 3rd incident of the night.

How did the small town police department solve all these crimes and tie it up in such a nice package?

We can thank the savvy cabbie since he held the piece that tied his crooks with the other incidents. Seems that Jaime left her pocketbook behind in the cab. Inside the pocketbook police found pay stubs listing her name and loan paperwork with Jason's name. A little detective work provided everything needed to ID the robbers and bag the perpetrators. Names yield license photos and then the game is over. Evidence piled up as the pair was caught on surveillance video using the cab driver's bank card at a Dunkin' Donuts and trying to withdraw money from an ATM. The cabbie was happy that he could return the rider's property and say hello – in court. The "no tip" was traded for a "tip off".

RULE: Don't get Trashed trying to Bag a Savvy Cabbie.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**20►Not a Laughing Matter◄**

**MEMPHIS, Tennessee** – Memphis has a population of nearly 700,000 making it the largest city in the state of Tennessee and the largest city on the Mississippi River. Memphis was founded in 1819 and named after the ancient capital of Egypt on the Nile River. Memphis is the home of founders and pioneers of various American music genres, including Memphis soul, Memphis blues, gospel, rock n' roll, and a whole lot more. A large number of famous musicians got their start in Memphis and include, Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins, Roy Orbison, the M.G.'s, Otis Redding, B.B. King, and dozens more. And let's not forget Elvis Presley.

It was a beautiful Thanksgiving Day and most were giving thanks at home. Not so for 82-year-old Thomas Copeland and 28-year-old Eric Vaughn. They were living it up Beale Street style at the Tap Room. These two men were at the bar that Thursday night, running up a tab. It was a ho-hum night until they skipped out on their $28 tab. Well, the bar keeper wasn't going to go along with it, Thanksgiving, or not. So off he went and spotted the freeloaders on Beale Street. A quick call to the police got some action on a slow night that needed a little stirring up and some rhythm.

Memphis Police spotted the crooks and gave chase. Once they saw the cops, younger Eric Vaughn started to run, maybe figuring that old Tom would be the _fall guy_. Vaughn looked back at the chase while still running. It must have looked funny since he started laughing. But the cops were on his trail, too. Vaughn kept laughing, apparently at the officers who were chasing him. The combination of looking back and laughing out loud turned out to be his _downfall_. Vaughn tripped and crashed to the ground. Even though the cops were now laughing, they caught their subject and took him in. There's no record of whether old Tom was laughing at the antics, but if so, he and the cops had the last laugh. Eric probably stopped laughing for his mug shot – a real clown.

RULE: Slap Stick or Slip Stick, Focus – like on Running.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**21►Don't Throw in the Towel◄**

**BRADENTON, Florida** – The area that would become Bradenton (originally, "Bradentown") was first explored in the 1500's by Hernando De Soto, famous Spanish explorer and conquistador, who began his search for the legendary _El Dorado_. The city took the name of Dr. Joseph Braden, whose nearby fort-like house was a refuge for early settlers during Seminole Indian attacks. But the place has come a long way in a few hundred years.

This crook decided to try some purse snatching at a local 7-Eleven convenience store perhaps was shy about knocking over the cash register under the control of a large, tough-looking clerk. Many robbery victims in Florida don't give in without a fight, and many carry licensed weapons. Florida recently set a record with over 1-million gun permits. And those that aren't carrying can be even tougher than those with guns.

And sure enough, while our crook pulled the purse, the lady held onto her purse even while the perp dragged her a short distance. But finally, the big coward got the best of the little women and ran out of the store with her purse. Not so fast! Help is on the way. The woman's son chased down the crook and made a grab. But after the robber pulled a gun, the son wisely held off on retrieving mom's property.

The Manatee County Sheriff arrived on the scene after the crook was out of sight. _"Did you get a look at him?"_ , the sheriff wanted to know. Ya, he was a towel head – literally. The "smart" crook had a towel over his head as a disguise, instead of the usual "hoodie" that has become a give-away in hot and steamy Florida. But, running down the street with a towel on your head is going to attract attention. The towel either fell off, or _smart crook_ threw it away. The county sheriff, well versed in DNA technology, grabbed the towel and sent it to the state's well-equipped crime lab. Sure enough, the DNA data matched up in the national data base. While some states have a DNA backlog, Florida knows how to unravel DNA problems quickly. Deputies arrested 36-year old Terry Jackson, who admitted the crime. After being so easily caught, we hope he's throwing in the towel on crime.

RULE: Forget Something Checklist: Wallet? License? Your Towel? Bingo!

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**22►Don't Bank on an Old Getaway Car◄**

**WEST GREENWICH, Rhode Island** \- West Greenwich is a small town in Kent County named for Greenwich, Kent, England. It is one of the least densely populated communities in the State with roughly 6000 residents. It has one of the highest percentages of permanent open space, about half of the total land, preserved as open space and large parks.

On a sunny morning in the picturesque city of West Greenwich, a pair of masked dumb crooks grabbed the bank manager as she was opening the branch of the Centerville Savings Bank on well-traveled Route 102. One robber held a loaded and functional gun to her head and demanded that the safe be opened. But a second manager arrived at the bank and explained to the robbers that there was a fifteen-minute delay between the opening of the outer and inner bank vault doors. The idea is to thwart this type of hold-up. Next, the gun-toting robber threatened all of the bank employees and then demanded that they empty the contents of all of the cashier drawers into a black bag provided by the robber. Everyone complied and turned over nearly $82,000 to the robbers. Before departing, the robbers held employees at gunpoint and bound them with Zip Ties.

But a witness called police when he saw the two masked robbers run from the bank. And if that wasn't enough, one of the workers was able to get free from the Zip Ties and call 911. The Good Samaritan witness spotted the pair a few minutes later walking out of woods near the bank and then crossing the road. They headed towards the rear of an industrial building and disappeared. Cops were already on the scene and surrounded the building. West Greenwich police and a Rhode Island State Police trooper located a car behind the building. Sitting behind the wheel was one of the robbers, a guy from Vermont named Peters, who was going nowhere in a hurry. Why? Because the car wouldn't start.

Peters was easily taken into custody before he could call AAA. Then, a second person, Craig Carey, who was close by, was also taken into custody. A search of the non-functional vehicle disclosed a black duffle bag containing a revolver, a pile of cash and clothing matching the description of clothing worn by the robbers. We don't know who the "brains" in the operation was, but maybe it wasn't Carey. This dude, who couldn't start the car, was carrying the keys of the bank manager's car - it ran just fine. And since he had watched her drive into the bank parking lot, he knew where to find the vehicle. Maybe he was afraid of being chased.

Alas, the getaway car broke down and the two robbers had been hoofing it. Both were taken into custody at gunpoint even though they had separated. The pair was thinking about fleeing the area before they were detained, but apparently, did not consider using the bank manager's car.

Eventually, the pair was indicted and then tried in Federal court. Louis Peters III, of Vermont and Craig Carey of Massachusetts were charged with threatening employees during the armed robbery. They will not be doing any driving for a long time. Maybe they should have partnered with the guy who used jumpers as a hold-up weapon (see previous case #5).

RULE: Don't let your Clunker Drive you to the Clinker.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**23►Ice Heist Screamers◄**

TILTON, New Hampshire – Tilton is a tiny New England town with a population density of about one person per square mile. So, it's hard to be a crook without holding up a neighbor. So what do you rob? How about one of the two jewelry stores in the town? Well, someone did the heist and it was big news – for quite awhile as we shall see.

Tilton Police arrested the fifth and final suspect in an armed robbery of Kay Jewelers. The robbers had pointed handguns at customers and employees in a reckless manner – a bad idea that makes everyone mad and ups the chargers. Then, they ordered everyone onto the floor before smashing glass cases with hammers. They stole about a quarter of a million dollars in jewelry in this non-classical "Smash & Grab" style robbery. The standard Smash & Grab involves running in, smashing, grabbing loot and running away – real fast. The S & G scheme is to move so fast that no one figures out what's going on until it's over. But, with this one, it was irritate and threaten customers, smash and wreck the place, and finally grab the loot. Now if you're going to make all this ruckus, people are sure to look at your mug. So, the robbers wore Halloween masks to hide their faces – another common no brainer strategy that usually backfires unless maybe, it is Halloween.

Surprisingly, these guys got clean away – or so it appeared. But Tilton gets their man, or five men, in this case. The 10-month investigation spanned the entire USA. The final arrest was made all the way in California when Delano Nelson, of Los Angeles, was arrested there in connection with the robbery. In fact, all the robbers were from California, perhaps like Old West bandits, they decided to get far away from where they were known. Tilton Police Chief Bob Cormier was happy to see the entire gang, including the getaway driver babe, in custody. The Chief said, "I don't believe they would have stopped had they not been caught, and they certainly were a danger to the public." Well, if you come all the way from California to hold up a town with a population of a few thousand, you probably are real dangerous.

So how did the masked bandits get caught? The break in the case came when two people who saw news coverage of the robbery found one of the masks, likely worn by one of the robbers. A highway worker apparently found two other discarded "Scream" masks where the suspects had their second getaway car waiting. Gang of robbers, bunch of masks, two getaway cars, and no brains. You guessed it, the cops were able to gather DNA evidence off the masks. The DNA of many, if not most crooks, is on file in a massive database that is becoming as valuable as the early, but highly useful, finger print system. Recently, the US Supreme Court ruled that cops can collect DNA evidence under the same principle as taking finger prints for booking. And it was great example of a collective effort by authorities. The Manchester Police Department, FBI, U.S. Marshals, Los Angeles Police Department and Long Beach Police Department all assisted in the investigation.

RULE: Mask your Mug - leave DNA - not cool, but a real Scream.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**24►Look Ma, No Prints◄**

**PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island** – We've been to historic Providence before and now we're here to see how really smart crooks operate. A 27-year-old man was arrested when he tried to get a Rhode Island driver's license using forged documents. The Dominican man was sentenced to two years in prison for re-entering the U.S. illegally following his deportation. But, police noticed his fingerprints had been "mutilated." Finger print obliteration is apparently quite a business in the Dominican Republic. Criminals go there to have the procedures performed anywhere from $1,000 to $7,000. Next, the potential crook will spend $300 to $3,000 on the black market for new identification documents, such as a birth certificate and a Social Security Card, the amount depending on how clean the person wants the criminal record to be.

Authorities said this guy had removed his own fingerprints in an effort to hide his identity. This is an old stunt tried by bank robbers and other bad guys many eons ago. The legendary Chicago bank robber, John Dillinger, is believed to have attempted to burn his own fingerprints off unsuccessfully after plastic surgery was unsuccessful. The FBI said it was still able to match what was left of Dillinger's prints. So, it didn't work then, and it's just about useless with today's modern technology, even if all apparent traces of prints are removed. While "latent prints" is one of the oldest forensic fields, progress continues in modern times.

Although DNA can be used, there's an easier and faster method in use today and its facial recognition. Authorities are increasingly using facial recognition technology and a major national program, under FBI authority, is expected to be completed during 2014. How did they nab our Dominican guy? You start with interstate motor vehicle records that provide a wealth of mug shots that are linked to names and addresses. They learned that this guy had acquired four different Massachusetts driver's licenses under different names and Social Security numbers based on searching his mug through these files. Same face – different name – quintuplets? Not likely. Face recognition software, even free consumer-level stuff, like Google's Picasa, works surprisingly well. Our bad guy had been deported in the past after serving time on a drug conviction, so it's not surprising that he wanted obscurity. And sure enough, he was right back in the USA only two months later – but "printless", he thought, but certainly clueless. This time, the judge ordered Robert Cordero-Luciano back to the Dominican Republic after he completes his sentence. He'll probably be back, maybe after plastic surgery.

RULE: You can Run, and you Rerun, but you can't Hide from High Tech

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**25►Meeting Your Match◄**

**CENTER HARBOR, New Hampshire** \- Center Harbor is a small town with only 1,000 residents, but population multiplies several-fold during the summer months. And as you might have guessed, the harbor is located between two other harbors - clever, very clever. Anything famous here? Yes, it was the home of Dudley Leavitt who wrote the first Farmers' Almanac way back in 1797.

Linda Carr got home around noon on a Saturday and noticed that her door didn't look right. In fact, part of the doorframe was gone, suspicious, indeed. Most people would have run to a neighbor's house, or flagged down a car. But 63-year old Linda headed inside without hesitation. Linda wasn't foolhardy; she was very worried about her beloved dog – was little Lola still in the house and was she alright? As she was peeking around corners, out jumped a would-be burglar. She found, 29-year old Richard Royea walking out of her bedroom.

He attempted to walk by her, but she grabbed onto him while whipping out her phone to called 911. She grabbed onto the knapsack on his back, but the crook kept trying to get out and pulled away. Off came the knapsack. But Linda wasn't going to let him get away with breaking into her home. So she then grabbed him by the collar and hung on. Finally, she dragged him back inside and yelled at him sit, stay and not move. She made him sit in the living room and wait for police. He was definitely afraid of Linda.

Maybe her dog obedience training experience kicked in, but whatever, it worked. "Don't you dare leave." The crook yelled back, _"I won't, I won't, I won't"_ and he didn't. Now that things were under control, Linda made the crook empty his pockets. Just about that time, cops showed up to find the crook emptying his pockets of jewelry and prescription drugs and there was more of her stuff in the backpack. Maybe Linda was that intimidating, or maybe the crook realized that he had known Linda every since he was a small child living just down the road.

So, how could Linda Carr have the guts to encounter a burglar? She thought about her late husband during the incident. Her husband had passed away almost three years ago, but Linda always felt that he was watching over her, _"Kind of protecting me, because I was shy and bashful and I just felt that he was there and he encouraged me to do it"_. Then she added, _"Time somebody caught him doing what he's doing"_. Right on Linda, and maybe someone was watching over you. What about the dog? Lola the cocker spaniel was hiding under the bed during the entire incident. Although the old dog's position in the household is apparently secure, Linda is considering getting a bigger dog, or one with more guts like Linda.

RULE: Don't Underestimate Woman Power

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**26►The Case of Michigan's Flying Gator◄**

**HOWELL, Michigan** – Howell is a small town in the southeastern end of the state of Michigan. That state is not well known for having noteworthy reptiles, certainly not gators, so authorities were more than surprised when they heard that a 14 foot alligator was cruising down the road. Something was fishy and it wasn't the gator - a genuine reptile that abounds in Florida and Louisiana and even as far as Oklahoma. An alligator couldn't survive a Michigan winter although there have been a few reports of loose gators caught in the state, but probably they were pets.

Well, our flying gator was a pet of sorts and this imported big guy was missing from his barn. Well, where else would you keep a big gator in Michigan? But the owner was apparently a CIS TV fan and got on the case real quick. He was a good tracker, but it wasn't gator tracks that caught his attention. By the way, gators often leave a snake-like trail as they slither along, and it's a wide one that's not easily missed. The alligator's owner located fresh tire tracks near his barn but no gator in sight. He had a strong suspicion that the gator getaway was by truck. Like a good detective, he photographed the tracks, presumably so he could match them up if he spotted a suspicious vehicle. Fortunately, the road was muddy and the owner was a first-rate tracker. The upset owner followed the tracks down the road and finally to a party in Deerfield Township.

Bingo! Some guys were driving their vehicles around in the mud, maybe thinking the gator wanted to frolic in the stuff. The angry owner confronted the crooks, _"You took my gator!"_ He laughed at their story about getting the gator in Florida. _"Tell it to the sheriff and here he comes, now."_ The big gator was strapped to the roof of the muddy vehicle. So what happened?

Looks like three intoxicated men stole the prize 14-foot alligator, strapped it to a pickup truck and then took it off-roading. Sounds like a risky feat, even for a pro gator grabber. But the big guy was a stuffed alligator who was also flattened and not about to put up a fight. The gator rustlers, 55-year-old Douglas Ward, 60-year-old Roy Griffith and 53-year-old John Sanborn, were charged with breaking and entering when they stole the dried out gator from the barn in Hartland Township. These guys were so drunk at 5-times the legal limit that they probably would have tried to grab a live gator – good thing they weren't in Florida.

RULE: If you're an Alligator Mud Wrestling, Bring Your Own Gator

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**27►Banana Splits with Gorilla◄**

**STRONGSVILLE, Ohio** – Strongsville, a suburb of Cleveland, doesn't seem to have any particular distinction, but does have a nice clock tower, a rustic covered bridge and a rather pretty gazebo in the Town Square. But strange things can happen in a nice town.

Police are looking for a tall, yellow-skinned crook that has a distinctive stoop, or maybe even spine curvature. What did this strange-looking character do? He is wanted for attacking and kidnapping – serious crimes. But wait, he attacked a gorilla. It gets worse! The perp was a banana.

This case is a topsy-turvy situation. Gorillas might attack bananas, but not the other way around – until now, and its indistinctive Strongville. Cops were humiliated by the banana when he gave them the slip. It was the unsolved _banana split_ case and plenty of _monkeying_ around. So, what happened?

Police got a call in the afternoon from the manager of the Verizon Wireless Center. Here was a blatant and bazaar broad daylight attack on the store's beloved mascot, none other than Verizon's advertising gorilla mascot. The gorilla was in front of the store waving a "1/2 Off" sign, something he did all the time. The store management told police that a big yellow banana tackled the gorilla mascot – he just came flying through the air to make a real tackle. OK, it probably wasn't a real banana on steroids, but who knows. Let's just assume that the banana-clad perpetrator attacked a gorilla-wearing victim as a slick joke. Maybe he knew the gorilla and liked to turn the tables on nature. Regardless, the banana fled in the custody of four males, perhaps a banana support group – or even one of these protest groups that pops up. _"Yes, we have no bananas today"_. How's the gorilla? Just embarrassed and what gorilla wouldn't be. The gorilla man was dressed in an Ohio State football shirt, so maybe the banana was from a rival team. Or maybe Mr. Banana didn't like the fact that the Buckeyes were pushing their Banana Frosty. The case remains unsolved, but no one was hurt, nothing was stolen and this isn't big news after all – hey, bananas slit.

RULE: Make Sure you're a Tough Banana even if you're a Nut Job

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**28►High for Pills?◄**

**PACE, Florida** – Pace is not all that far from Pensacola that hosts a large Navy base and museum, so it has a military flavor. Florida is noted for many good things, but also notorious for some bad stuff. One of the bad features was Pill Mills, where narcotic type pain pills could be too easily obtained. Unscrupulous physicians were key players and could make millions of dollars. So-called "patients" from all over the country, could get on-the-spot prescriptions that were immediately filled on the premises for a high fee. Illegal pill sales became epidemic, in part, because they are highly addictive.

Pill Mills have been a big deal and a major problem in Florida, but recent laws and heightened police activity have cut down the supply of 'pill" narcotics. The result has been an increase in pharmacy robberies, however. Increased surveillance and patrols have put a dent in robberies during store hours so crooks are trying "new tricks", but some are the old cat burglar tricks.

There are only so many ways to get into a pharmacy: through, under or over. While bank robbers have used tunneling because of the big payoff, the economics don't justify this mode for a drug heist, or maybe the crooks are in a hurry to get a "fix". So, a roof attack might seem like a good move.

Our roof-top crook did a lot of planning and was well prepared, so maybe he wasn't a dumb crook, after all. He had plenty of tools, including climbing hardware, rappelling gear, and different types of rope lifts so he could pull the loot up. He even had a retractable ladder that could be collapsed to avoid detected. And he was a former employee, so he knew the layout. A former employee? That's the first clue that we have a dumb crook. You guessed it! The first list of suspects includes employees and alumnae. Statistically, former employees are a better bet, especially if they were fired.

Our crook got on the roof without any trouble. After all, he had all the gear and maybe put in some practice. Once on the roof, he removed a roof hatch causing the alarm to go off and all the lights came on inside and outside the store. Gee, and this guy had worked there and should have had some idea of the security system. At this hour of the morning, about 1 in the morning, deputies are just waiting for a burglar alarm call. And it's too early for drunks. Sure enough, Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Deputies got the call and arrived in a minute or two. Where is Mr. Rooftop? Well, he's stranded on the roof of a CVS pharmacy. While some deputies cleared the inside of the building, others checked the roof since there was no sign of a break-in. The security company could even report the source of the alarm, but the roof hatch was still open and quite visible from inside. Our crook, 27-year-old Joshua Stephen, was hiding behind a roof air conditioner. Crooks either hide behind a roof AC or try to jump off. He was charged with burglary, wearing a mask during the commission of a crime, criminal mischief, possession of burglary tools, and trespassing. Wow, a mask for a roof heist? While he didn't need the mask, at least on the roof, it allowed one additional charge to be filed against him. No it wasn't a cat mask and he wasn't a very good cat burglar.

RULE: When you Case the Joint Where you Work, Go for Details, Like Alarm System

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**29►Don't Rob Metals from a Guy with Mettle◄**

**EVANSVILLE, Indiana** – The city of Evansville is known as "River City" because it's on a nice horseshoe bend of the Ohio River. It was once voted the best city in the USA "to live, work, and play" by Kiplinger magazine. But there might be dark waters in River City. The Evansville Police Department added a second Guardian Surveillance Unit, a modified Brinks security truck, to the city's streets. It's equipped with multiple cameras that allow officers to remotely monitor bad activity but it also sends the message that ya better watch out – we are watching.

A 19-year old hood broke into a home in broad daylight in the southwestern Indiana city. It was a small heist that included a bottle of cologne, a pocket knife and army medals. Now, it's a bad idea to steal anything, right? But it's a really bad idea to steal war medals. First, war medals have a high value to the person who earned them with blood, sweat and tears and it's also pretty damned low. It's such a disgrace that everyone wants to get the crook. Our low-down crook probably didn't wonder much about the owner, but if he did, he might realize that he had the property of a very tough Iraq War Veteran - someone who isn't afraid of a 19-year old punk.

Sure enough, a _date with fate_ was planned when Joseph Vallar came home and found the burglar in his home. The Army veteran could have handled the burglar with his bare hands, but he pulled a big loaded gun to keep things simple. The crook thought he might challenge the gun-toting home owner until he saw the laser beam come on – yup, real gun, and real bullets, real nasty gun-owner. Vet to dispatcher, _"I just caught somebody breaking into my house, I have my gun drawn on him right now!"_ Our vet continued, _"You ain't using the bathroom, you ain't using nothing, you're just going to lay there."_ Police were told to use the front door and come in and take this guy away. _"I'm just sitting here by the front door with my gun drawn and pointed at the guy"_. Since the crook didn't even bring his own knife to the potential gun fight, he stayed put until the cops hauled him away. By the way, Joe Vallar was with Army's Special Forces and he knew how to handle a prisoner and that's why they found Joshua Wilson with his legs crossed and his fingers interlocked. Cops always issue a statement to the effect _"Let the police handle things because it could be dangerous."_ While Joe Vallar agreed that you can't be absolutely sure how things will turn out, he'd do it again if the situation arises. Joe had plenty of experience clearing houses, and capturing bad guys that might even have bombs. Nice going Joe.

RULE: Don't even think about trying to stare down Special Forces and a big gun.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**30►Cops Can Help You Even if You're Dopey◄**

**CHICAGO, Illinois** \- Chicago is the most populous city in the American Midwest, with almost 3-million residents. So, what's the Windy City famous for? Crooks! Some of the big time guys were Al Capone, Sam "Momo" Giancana, Bugs Moran, Tony Accardo, and Dion O'Banion. Want more? How about John Dillinger who's main hideout was in Chicago. So, we should not be surprised that there are still some crooks.

A Chicago man was burglarized. So, of course, he called the police, but that may not have been a good idea. Someone had stolen a computer. But they had also stolen 2- pounds of his valuable goods from his apartment just west of DePaul University's Lincoln Park campus. Young Max Fleck told police that three men had entered his apartment and robbed him of his laptop and something else. _"So how did these bad guys get in"_ , cops wanted to know. Max had invited one of the men to come and visit. _"OK, why did he come and visit?" "Ah, he was a potential client."_ So far so good, but Max was more upset about his lost stuff than the computer theft. _"OK, what was the stuff?"_ Max didn't hold back, _"It was really good stuff - marijuana. Those guys got 2 pounds of my good stuff and I want it back"_ , demanded the victim. Cops were sympathetic and wanted to help, _"OK, well we need to make out a report and ask you to sign it"_. And Max was sure it was good stash. In fact, he has some more drugs that the crooks had missed. We don't know if his pot showed up in lost and found, but it's doubtful. But police did charge Max with four separate counts - two felony counts of possession of a controlled substance and two counts of possession of cannabis. But there may be a positive side to the story. Max had only a little bit of weed left. Even though he wished for the 2-pouunds to come back, if Max had been caught with a larger amount, it would be a Class 3 felony charge and a possible five year prison term, even more time if it could be proven that he was selling, that he really had clients instead of crooks.

RULE: If you're a Dope of a Dope Peddler, Dope Things Out or you'll Cop a Plea

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**31►Smart Enough to Outsmart Himself◄  
**

**SPOKANE, Washington** \- The Lilac City is located on the Spokane River in Eastern Washington and is less than 100-miles south of the Canadian border. The name means "Children of the Sun", but there are some shadowy characters living there. Troy Baumgardner thought he was smart because he had an entire house completely full of stolen goods – and that's free stuff that didn't cost him a dime. Troy had so much stuff, he couldn't even lie down, but he liked to lay on his ill-begotten stuff. He was so proud of being so smart that he let it be known to his Facebook pals. What's the use of being smart if you can't brag about it.

His Facebook "Interest" was _"outsmarting the cops"_. What was his _"drug of choice"_? Troy bragged that he liked _"the rush of outsmarting them all."_ But that wasn't quite true. Although Troy had robbed almost a quarter million dollars worth of merchandise from local stores, and the authorities didn't have him YET, he was in the process of being outsmarted. So who was so smart that they could outsmart Troy? Well, it was the lumber yard owner. Maybe Troy should have knocked on wood at the lumber yard, because his luck ran out when he robbed Mark Gatlin.

When Troy Baumgardner stole merchandise from Discount Lumber, he never thought that this low-level heist would be his undoing. After all, if you can get away with stealing a lot of expensive high tech stuff, a few 2 x 4's should be easy. But Mr. Gatlin didn't like thieves and one stolen 2 x 4 was one too many. And Mark Gatlin kept his video equipment in good condition and knew how to use it. So when Mark played the video one evening, and it showed a van hauling away his lumber, he was hot on the trail of our smart crook. Now, to identify the vehicle that was very clear in the videos? So, with help from a friend, Mark was able to identify the van that led him to a storage company. Sure enough, Mark Gatlin found the van and called the sheriff.

Investigators busted their biggest burglary case in the department's history. They got a warrant and raided Baumgardner's home to recover 2,000 items; including electronics, shoes, and even plants. The shoes alone from Payless Shoe were worth $40,000. The lumber yard surveillance system captured a nice album of photos with multiple cameras – suitable for posting on Facebook or in the Sheriff's Office. Here's a nice shot of Troy and the van. They also arrested the brother, Teddy Baumgardner who was in on the deal. We don't know if he also posted about how smart he was, but maybe he was the modest one in the family. Teddy was remodeling his house and brother Troy was heisting the lumber – what team work. What about appliances? Seems that Teddy was out shopping in a vacant house. He even sent a photo to his brother and that became part of the evidence.

So why did Troy think he could outsmart police? Maybe taking a clue from an old TV robbery program, the dude liked to cut the cable to what he thought were surveillance systems and also drilled locks out. He may have seen this on TV but the plots aren't that educational. Occasionally, cutting the wires works on old systems, but a severed wire usually signals that a potential robbery is in progress with modern fail-safe protocol. A lost signal to the alarm company is a red flag and photos are saved on the premises, often in a hiding place far from the cameras. But Troy has a history of outsmarting cops. Fact is that his rap sheet showed that he got caught before this last caper. Turns out that Baumgardner served time hard time in California for not-so-smart thievery. He stole items from a restaurant where he worked. But he wasn't worried about leaving evidence behind. He used gasoline to set fire to the building this adding arson to burglary. The first place cops look is at employees and former employees and they quickly found Troy along with his gasoline cans.

RULE: When Think you're a Smart Crook, you will be Caught by Someone Smarter

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**32►The Digital Bloodhound◄**

**ATLANTA, Georgia** \- Atlanta is the largest city in Georgia and capital that also hosts the country's busiest airport. Atlanta, of course, has crime, but it is down and reduction has far surpassed the national trend. While Atlanta was once in the top five for highest crime, its way down to the 31st. Cops are tough and smart and like to win those crime reduction awards. But crime still happens and it can make some people really mad.

This incident happened in the driveway of the Biltmore Hotel on West Peachtree Street an hour before midnight. A group of women had just left a company function with co-workers when they were approached by two armed men. The crooks demanded their purses and cell phones. But one of the women had just about enough. Christina hauled off and punched one of the crooks in the nose. _"I went into defense mode and backed off and just pointed my hand at them and said, "You stay away from me"_. This caught our tough guy crooks by surprise – women fighting back? That punch sent the crooks running and they fled the location.

But the two men fled with the women's belongings, including an iPhone. Just about everyone who owns an iPhone sets up the free location tracking program – it comes with the phone and is hard to disable. What's more, smart crooks are supposed to know this since a lot of dumb crooks have been caught by help from a phone. And these women knew all about phones. Two of the women victims worked at a digital marketing company and used Skype and other technologies daily – they were very tech-savvy, and very tough. As soon as the cops arrived and descriptions were put out. The women explained the tracking system, something the cops were familiar with and happy to use. The tracking software had already been activated using another phone that the crooks missed. By the way, our modern law enforcement people routinely ask if the missing phone has tracking. But since smart crooks toss the phone quickly, it's crucial to work fast. So, why do crooks take phones if it can track them? Mainly to prevent the victim from calling the cops.

Police tracked the iPhone to apprehend and arrest the two crooks at an apartment complex on Stanton Drive. The cops drove the women to the location where they identified the crooks and got to watch the arrest. They may have even cheered and jeered. Demarcus Smith and Jermaine Johnson were charged with robbery and delivered to the Fulton County Jail. These were extra dumb crooks. Not only did they not toss the incriminating phone, but they were both on probation at the time of the incident thus guaranteeing jail time. And now for the standard disclaimer from Atlanta PD. Don't beat on armed crooks, especially dumb ones. And the response, _"Ya, right - got him anyway."_

RULE: You can Try and Cover your Tracks, don't Overlook Invisible Footprints.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**33►Honk for Tickets◄**

**LONGMONT, Colorado** \- Longmont was founded in 1871 by a group of people from Chicago, Illinois and originally called the Chicago-Colorado Colony. It's a pretty good town, but things do happen.

Admittedly, the dude we're about to meet is not a certified crook unless we count stealing peace and tranquility. But his unusual brand of road rage could have escalated to a deadly level – and road rage is the deadly rage today. This case involves a car vs. bike battle, and the biker is at a big disadvantage. But you can be the judge as to the winner, so here's the story. Veteran cyclist Dirk Friel and a fellow professional cyclist were properly riding down the road on a gorgeous and quiet Sunday. The tranquility was interrupted by the loud blaring of a horn. When they looked around, the driver of a Ford Explorer was right behind them laying on the horn. So what's the problem? Plenty of room to pass and the professional-level cyclists were they should be, not bothering anyone. But the fuming male driver kept blasting the horn and stayed with the cyclists. In fact, the SUV was getting in everyone else's way on the narrow road. This nutcase blasted his horn for 5-minutes.

There was no obvious cause and effect. No one knew the driver and none had apparently done anything to set this guy off and his horn on. One turn of the wheel and the SUV could flatten bikes and riders and if he was willing to spend minutes harassing them, he's a potential threat. Was the law broken? Yes! Is there evidence? Yes!

Colorado State Patrol was notified and this guy was apparently bothering other cyclists who also had been horn-harassed by the same SUV. But these veteran bikers also supplied hard evidence of the harassment by the driver. Several cyclists had phones with good video. No one had a helmet cam, but that wasn't necessary. The whole thing, and all the noise, was captured on video and posted. The video was clear enough to show the driver and his license plate. But is it against the law to blow your horn? Yes. The generic version found in motor vehicle laws reads like this, _"The driver of a motor vehicle shall when reasonably necessary to insure safe operation give audible warning with his horn but shall not otherwise use such horn when upon a highway."_ Well maybe it's free speech, like in, _"I hate bikes"_? Don't count on it. Courts have determined that horn honking does not fall under freedom of speech guidelines. Did they get the honkey old dude? Yes, Colorado state police were able to identify the elderly driver and cited him for harassment, impeding the flow of traffic and improper use of a horn. Maybe he should be sentenced to public service, or – bike riding behind a truck with air horns.

RULE: Consider how your Act Up will Look on YouTube and to the Judge.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**34►You Have the Right to Remain Silent◄**

**WAYNE COUNTY, Kentucky** \- Wayne County is a prohibition – its dry – no booze. This might help reduce the number of drunken domestic brawls, but that's no guarantee of blissful relationships. And sure enough, Melissa Hardwick got into a dispute with her husband. The poor guy claimed that his wife was aggressive, overbearing, and never let him get a word in – not one. Could this be true? Let's see.

Here's the evidence. Melissa now faces three charges along with contempt of court. Her husband had filed a domestic violence order against her. The judge asked Hardwick's husband to explain the situation since he had brought the charges. But Mrs. Hartwick then interrupted her husband several times. The woman judge told her to stop talking and that she would get her turn later. But Melissa continued to talk and talk and talk. Right out of the _Judge Judy_ script, our no-nonsense female judge to her to shut up or be held in contempt of court. But Melissa just kept on yapping. The judge had it. _"You are sentenced to 10 days in jail for contempt of court"._ Mrs. Hartwick was speechless for a few milliseconds. She only shut up long enough to lunge at the judge. Court deputies quickly tackled her down and then she really started to yell. The judge calmly waited until the screaming lady was hauled out of the courtroom.

By the time all the new charges were totaled, Hardwick was given 120 days in jail and a bond set at $25,000 cash. The judge always wins and the judge gets the last word. Melissa will also now have to go before a judge with charges of third-degree terroristic threatening, intimidating a participant in the legal process and resisting arrest.

After the altercation, the judge ruled that the DVO filed by Hardwick's husband will remain. Of course, Mr. Hardwick didn't even need the new evidence, the court room surveillance video. If needed, he had a highly regarded witness to his wife's violent nature – a court judge. He didn't need the last word when he got the last laugh.

RULE: Don't Prove Your Opponents Case in Front of a Judge

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**35►Be On the Lookout◄**

**HUBBARD, Ohio** – Way back in 1795, Nehemiah Hubbard, a merchant from Middletown, Connecticut, got in on the big land boom in Ohio long before the Florida craze. He sold plots to early settlers, but the town remained a country-crossroads until the coal fields began to develop. Today, the city boasts about 8,000 people. There are a lot of Hubbard's in Hubbard, and maybe even Mother Hubbard. And with such a background, this is a tech-savvy place, so crooks are forewarned.

Yup, this is one more Facebook fiasco, but with a twist. We've already seen how FB has played a role capture of crooks who bragged and how surveillance postings have identified crooks. But, there's a newly-emerging trend, even in smaller Ohio locations. Law Enforcement has embraced FB, maybe not as individuals since seemingly innocent remarks have got cops in to hot water, but as agencies. Most police, sheriff, and federal law enforcement agencies now post on the web and have Facebook accounts. Some are even solving Cold Cases by posting all the details.

The Hubbard Township police recently used Facebook to help catch two burglars. They arrested Richard Couturiaux and Scott Herrmann, directly as the result of the FB posting. Here's what happened. Police were dispatched to a vacant house after a neighbor heard a loud crash and saw two suspicious men at the house. The neighbor called police who took Herrmann into custody at the crime scene. Police chased Couturiaux through the woods, and he later got into a car driven by a relative, but they got their man. Both were charged with breaking and entering. So how did Facebook enter the picture? Police posted a Facebook announcement asking neighbors to pay attention to the increasing number of vacant homes in the area that were being hit. They didn't list the houses as that would help crooks. But by asking neighbors to check their own neighborhoods, that was enough. The guy who helped nab the crooks had seen the notice on the Hubbard Police Facebook page and made it a to point check vacant houses. He then kept an eye on several vacant houses on his block. He reasoned that the more crooks off the street, the less likely one would pay him a visit.

RULE: The iPolice may be Watching You

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**36►Video Justice◄**

**CHICAGO, Illinois** – The Windy City has long been infamous for the high number of murders. We also saw how famous Mafia figures played a role in the notorious crime history. But at least one murder was solved because of the Internet. Delfino Mora, 62, [see photo] was found dead one morning, a victim of blunt force trauma. The Mora family all wore black that Sunday, grieving for the murdered family patriarch. Jose Mora, the victim's son, was in a lot of pain and anguish. He wanted to die with his father he was in so much agony and it was very hard to realize his father wouldn't be there anymore. Mr. Mora, the father of six boys and six girls, recently quit working in construction because of health problems. But he was not idle. He loved to play his guitar and entertain people. _"If you were down for some reason, he'd come to cheer you up,"_ said Emmanuel Mora, another son. The father was idolized by children and neighbors. He had little money, so gave his time to try and make people happy. How could anyone murder him?

Mora was in an alley that morning collecting aluminum cans to earn money for his family. That's when the crooks grabbed his wallet and phone. But one of the bad guys punched Mora in the head and he fell to the ground hitting the cement. As this was happening, another crook recorded the attack on a cell phone an increasingly common and totally stupid practice.

Not satisfied with killing someone for a few bucks, one of them posted the murder video on Facebook. Investigators say that the video showed Malik Jones throwing the punch that killed old Mr. Mora. Malik Jones, 16, was with two other perps when he approached Delfino Mora, 62, that fateful morning. Jones was charged as an adult with first-degree murder. Nicholas Ayala, 17, and Anthony Malcolm, 18, were also charged with robbery and first-degree murder. The threesome, in an attempt to get bragging rights, caught themselves and posted irrevocable video evidence. Coincidently, Emmanuel Mora, the victim's youngest son, saw the graphic video on Facebook and watched in horror as his father was beaten up.

RULE: Evil, Arrogance and Stupidity can bring on Justice with Irony

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**37►The Vanity Bandit◄**

**LAKE CHARLES, Louisiana** – The picturesque city is located near the southwestern part of Louisiana, only 30-miles from the Gulf of Mexico, and is bordered by two lakes and a river. There is a strong Cajon culture with plenty of festivals and events to keep things lively.

Car theft is a pretty common crime and it happens every minute. High technology is helping. Police cars can be equipped with a license plate-reading camera tied into an on-board computer that quickly checks for hits. But only a few police departments have this rather expensive equipment so it's up to the officers to try and remember the latest vehicle theft descriptions and then check the plates by a radio call or their on-board computer where available. But car thieves often give themselves away by panicking, driving way too carefully, or by some other unintended act. And it should go without saying, if you don't want to get caught, keep a low profile. And maybe you should not grab an unusual car with an unusual color, like a bright yellow Humvee.

One young car thief already had swiped a Mercedes. Police theorize that the thief started out in Fishers, IN, when the picked up a Mercedes at a local dealership using a Smart Key that he must have swiped from another Benz dealer. Mercedes-Benz invented the Smart Key, or "Keyless Go", many years ago. The smart key allows drivers to keep the key fob in their pockets when unlocking, locking and starting the vehicle. The vehicle can be automatically unlocked when the door handle, trunk release, or an exterior button is pressed. Vehicles with a Smart Key system can activate the ignition without inserting a key in the ignition, provided there is a key within the car that is electronically sensed. Some dealers hide a key inside the car just in case there is a problem with the key fob.

However this crook did it, our thief ended up with a Mercedes. He then traveled to Naperville, IL, and upgraded the first car for a better Mercedes, an SL550. He simply took the better car for a test drive and never returned it. Since he seemed to be a Mercedes owner and left a pretty good car behind, the dealer didn't suspect anything. But in Naples, FL, he dropped off the really good Benz and pick up a $100,000 Bentley Continental GT – one more upgrade. Fugitive car thief 22-year-old Justin Durbin, then drove to Louisiana in the hot Bentley. His MO had been simple and effective. Look cool, calm and normal, show up in an expensive car, and then take a test drive with the car you want to steal and never come back. His other trick was to swap Smart Keys and come back at night to steal the car. After a high-speed pursuit and tracking by dogs, Louisiana got their kid. Durbin was wanted in Louisiana, South Carolina, Virginia, Florida, Indiana, Arizona and Maryland on charges including probation violation, grand theft auto, larceny, burglary and fraud. Police found numerous IDs and stolen license plates in the trunk of the car. Some would say that Justin was a smart crook, so how did he get caught? In switching the plates he chose the boastful but ultimately stupid "DIAL 911" for the Bentley.

RULE: Make Sure you're End Game isn't Jail

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**38►Pull Over, Not Run Over◄**

SPRING HILL, Florida \- Spring Hill, only 3-miles from the Gulf of Mexico, belongs to Florida's Nature Coast and is in the Tampa-St. Petersburg-Clearwater metro area. It's a beautiful area with numerous parks and attractions, but there's no shortage of crooks in and near the region.

Two men rushed into the First South Bank wearing black ski masks and jumpsuits. One crook pointed a handgun at a dozen people inside and ordered them to the floor. Robbing a bank is bad enough, and using a gun is even worse, but threatening patrons adds some extra charges. One counted out the seconds as another man jumped the counter and stuffed thousands of dollars into a black canvas bag. The men then fled in a tan Toyota and slowly drove east to the Suncoast Parkway. They removed a white handkerchief that covered the license plate as it was probably attracting attention. Actually, everything they did attracted attention. Not many ski resorts in Florida.

The men did not appear to panic when a deputy, who had heard a description, started following them on the parkway. These were cool robbers who kept to the speed limit and even stopped to pay the tolls. The Deputy thought she had the robbers in the tan Toyota under pursuit because they matched the description given by people inside the bank. Taking no chances, the also cool deputy called in the situation. No fewer than 10 vehicles driven by deputies and detectives rushed to help. When the posse arrived, the lead Deputy stopped the Toyota, pointed her gun at the car and ordered the men out. Well, the robbers didn't stay cool, The 22-year-old driver jumped out of the car while it kept on rolling and it rolled right over his over his leg. The 28-year-old passenger got out of the car and was placed on the ground – not so gently. Deputies found a handgun, loaded and cocked, on the floorboard of the driver's side.

The two bank robbers were arrested and were held in the Hernando County Jail with a $55,000 bail for each. One had been released from prison a month before after serving nine years for an earlier bank robbery. Duh! While the crooks eventually lost their cool, maybe recalling jailhouse days, the deputy kept hers. This was her first armed bank robbery case. She knew the suspects were supposed to have a weapon and knew that the stop could end badly. So she simple shouted, "Exit the vehicle. Come out showing both hands. If you comply, this will go smoothly". Two other deputies stood behind their patrol cars and pointed guns at the Toyota. Florida loves guns and Deputies carry an arsenal, so compliance is a good idea.

The getaway driver now stood barefoot on the side of the parkway since his gray sneakers had come off when he jumped from the car and ran himself over. He didn't appear seriously injured by rolling the car over his leg, however. Maybe he practiced. Both were taken to jail before being booked in Hernando. All the loot and hardware was recovered, including a black canvas bag, a handgun, two black ski masks, a pack of Marlboro Reds, latex gloves, two pairs of sunglasses and a black knit shirt. A black knit skirt? Weird! One crook had been arrested at least 10 times and convicted of larceny, felony criminal mischief, burglary and possession of crack cocaine. The driver also had convictions, but "selfie" hit and run was not among them, or was it run, hit and limp.

RULE: Don't try to Out-Cool a Cool Lady Deputy.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**39►This Here Ain't No Motocross◄**

**HILLSVILLE, North Carolina** – Hillsville? Sounds like a place to do motorcycle hill climbs, a still popular sport. But this isn't just a quiet little hilly farm town. Way back in 1912, a major gunfight broke out in the courthouse during the trial of Floyd Allen that left five people dead and seven wounded. Bad Floyd managed to escape. After a massive manhunt they captured Floyd and he was electrocuted. So never count Hillsville out of the action.

Back to motorcycles and hill climbing. A Suzuki motorcycle had been stolen from a residence in the Fancy Gap area – Hillsville has fancy names to go with the fancy history. Since there are fewer motorcycles than cars, identification would be easier. But the problem for cops is that most bikers run. Seems like there's a mistaken belief that a bike can outrun the cops Crown Vic and its big motor (no longer manufactured). Then, the Hillsville Police Department got a good tip on the whereabouts of the hot bike and it was right in town. A Suzuki bike had been seen zipping up the the stairs at the Theater Apartments. Two men were then spotted wrestling the bike through the front door of the apartment building. After a struggle, they apparently got it inside the building.

Cops wanted to know, _"Where's the bike, we know its inside and we always get our bike."_ Well, of course, nobody around there owned a bike. This still sounds promising, but how to find the bike? Officers began the process of eliminating apartments in an attempt to locate the suspect and motorcycle. Nope, not the 89-year old grandma, not the guy in the wheel chair...

The search was narrowed to just one apartment and they wouldn't open up. A search warrant would probably be a toss-up, so getting inside was the problem. They didn't have enough manpower to stake out the joint, but it was a slow day – a typical day. One cop kept an eye on the place while his partner tried to obtain a search warrant. Maybe these were Floyd's relatives holed up in there? Then, Tim Banks Brannock exited the apartment and surrendered. He knew the bike game was up and maybe he could plea bargain. _"Lemme just park it outside."_ But it turns out that this crook was wanted on a _capias_ warrant from Carroll County Circuit Court. _"Hands up – you are wanted by the judge on a capias"._ Sounds worse than it really is, since this usually relates to a civil matter. But it was enough to take the guy into custody. Sure enough, there was the Suzuki motorcycle inside the apartment. The crook went to jail and the motorcycle was turned over to the Carroll County Sheriff's Office who was investigating the theft. OK, not as big a deal as the 1912 shootout, but then again, this is Hillsville.

RULE: Even if you're a Stunt Rider, Keep the Bike Off the Stairs.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**40►If it isn't One Thing, it's Another and Another◄**

**DEBARY, Florida** – DeBary is a small city in Florida bordering the St. Johns River, one of the few that flows north up to Georgia (joke deleted). The place is named for Sam DeBary, a New York wine merchant, who built a 20-room hunting lodge on a large piece of land he acquired in some wheeling and dealing. It must have been quite a place since it was visited by presidents Grant and Cleveland.

A DeBary couple woke up early one morning and noticed that their cell phone was missing. The husband was pretty sure he had plugged it into the charger the night before, but decided to walk to his car it make sure he hadn't left it inside. _"Hey, where are my keys?"_ Yup, car keys were missing, too, and he was sure about it. So the couple did a quick search and realized some of their equipment was gone – expensive photographic equipment. They quickly alerted the Volusia County Sheriff's Office, but also got busy tracking down evidence.

The husband remembered that the iPhone had a phone-finder app that used the phone's GPS chip and data to track the location of an iPhone. But the cell phone must be turned on for the app to work. At one time, the Find My Phone app had been a great tool for law enforcement, but once the word got out about this tracking capability, most crooks quickly ditched the phone or turned it off. The newest software, won't allow the tracker to be disabled without the owners password. Hope was slim, but when deputies got to the home, the couple had already determined that the phone was still on. The would-be detectives told the arriving deputy that the stolen phone appeared to be just down the road. The location was stationary, so the iPhone was probably lying on the ground where it had been tossed, the most common scenario.

But there was a surprise! The iPhone sent out a message to show exactly where to find it on a detailed map. So where was it? The little phone was sending out its signal from inside the glove box of a silver 1995 Chevy Camaro. The car was only two houses away, and it wasn't moving. A bigger surprise was that the car was filled to the brim with more than $30,000 worth of this couples camera gear and a neighbor's high-priced barbecue tools. So why was the car just parked near the scene of the crime? The burglars had fallen asleep at the wheel — literally. That's mistake #2, keeping the phone on was big error #1. So why didn't they keep driving? No, they weren't out of gas. The dumb duo got stuck in the mud only two houses away from the burglary when they decided to make a U-turn into someone's yard. Oh yah, they were on a dead end road – literally and figuratively. The troublesome twosome, 21-year-old Swaggerty and 20-year-old Marrison, were now wide awake trying to dig their car out of the mud — with a stolen shovel – a coal shovel that was not very good for digging. Feel free to add to the mistakes list, getting stuck in the mud, staying with the car, not calling for a tow, whatever, but there were plenty.

Along with the photo equipment, deputies also found camping equipment, two bottles of sparkling water, a third of a bottle of inexpensive red wine the couple used for cooking and prescription sunglasses. What would have been a disaster for the photographer couple turned into a comedy hour. And as a bonus, the couple's 9-year son and friends got a lesson on "Crime Doesn't Pay". The 9-year-old son, Trevor, and his best friend got one important lesson that morning. _"Boys, this is what the bad guy looks like,"_ as they peered at the two men sitting on the asphalt road, still covered in mud. So much for a _clean_ get-away.

RULE: If you can't do anything right, change careers – maybe even get a job.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**41►Bungling Burglar Left Hanging◄**

**DARTFORD, Kent, England** – The town is situated in the northwest corner of Kent, England and is 16 miles (26 km) from central London. The town is centered in a valley through which the River Darent flows. It is a commuter town for Greater London; we'd call it a bedroom community. And if you want something famous, how about a couple of the Rolling Stones? In fact, it was the birthplace and boyhood home of Mick Jagger; there's even a Mick Jagger Center.

Does the USA have a monopoly on dumb crooks? Let's take a quick look at jolly old England and try to expand our geographical list. When homeowner Paul Ives arrived home from work, he was in for a strange experience. There had been some break-ins recently and it seems that he was the latest victim – well, _almost_. The crook had broken in, but not out. We always seem to focus on the break-in part, but breaking out has challenged quite a few crooks.

The house had _captured_ the would-be robber – an _armed_ robber. A crook named Pearce was armed with a hammer, but this was no match for _this_ _tough old house_ that had caught him by a foot and wasn't letting go. The 32-year old crook had attempted a daring daylight raid, but somehow got his foot caught after smashing his way through the front window of a Victorian terrace home. Unable to free himself, Pearce was left hanging upside down in the window frame for more than an hour as a crowd of 30 neighbors and passers-by gathered to ridicule him. Call the Bobbies, or leave him there as a message?

But wait? Was he really a crook? The guy had an explanation. He had spotted someone else trying to raid the house and had selflessly attempted to catch the scoundrel, getting stuck in the process. Unsurprisingly, no one believed his story and declined to set him free. _"Yur out catching crooks, my foot. Sorry, yur foot."_

Police and emergency crews arrived on the scene and eventually managed to release Pearce's shoe and haul him down. The coppers determined that the lace in one of his trainers became caught in the window frame as he tried to clamber through. He was arrested, handcuffed and taken to the police station. Facing Dartford magistrates the following day, he admitted burglary with intent to steal. So is this the world's dumbest crook? According to the homeowner, he must be. Mr. Ives, an air conditioning engineer who recently moved into the house, said, _"The man must be the world's dumbest thief. He was hanging upside down. His body was inside the house and he was stuck in the window with his foot outside. The more he struggled, the more he got jammed. When I got home, he still had the hammer in his hand which he had used to smash the main window and get some leverage. He kept saying he hadn't done anything. He was stopping the burglars"._

**RULE: If you are Going to Get Hung Up with a simple job, then Hang it up.**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**42►Know When to Pit and When to Cross the Line◄**

**DANVILLE, Kentucky** – Danville just might be The Great American City, or maybe even _Main Street USA_. In fact, Danville received the Great American Main Street Award from the National Trust for Historic Preservation. The place was named after Walker Daniel who bought 76 acres and had it surveyed for a town in 1783. Well, this should be a proper and law abiding town since the founder was Kentucky's first District Attorney. But, things happen and there may be a few bad apples here and there.

Police were on the lookout for one of these bad apples, a guy named Bradley Young. Word was that Brad was in town but maybe hiding out somewhere. It would just be a matter of time before they got him. And the cops knew Brad quite well.

Sure as shooting, an officer spotted a vehicle driven by the one and only Brad Young. There he was at the local drive-thru of McDonald's. The savvy officer hung back and radioed in to confirm the outstanding felony warrants and let the boys know that there was about to be some action. And of course, there were several active warrants. Next, police tried to stop Bad Brad along US150. You didn't expect him to oblige, did you? As anticipated, Brad Young took off toward Danville at a high speed as predicted. But then, he turned southbound toward Hustonville, probably with the idea of crossing the county line. Brad must have watched old "outrun-the-cops" movies for that old idea of escape out of the county. Law enforcement now can easily get permission to enter another county and state police have jurisdiction in the entire state. But, the other county wants to get in the game, so now there are more pursuit vehicles and maybe there's a Stop Stick strip across the road. Somehow, Young made it across the county line into Lincoln County. Safely (he thought) across the line, Brad slowed down, maybe trying to look like a pokey resident. But then, he stopped dead in the road. The car rolled to a casual stop and the Hustonville officers casually made the arrest without incident. _"Thanks for stopping – guess ya heard about how fast we are over here."_ Nope! Brad had run out of luck - and out of gas.

No checked flag in case Bad Brad was thinking of one of those NASCAR races were the winner just made it across the line on fumes.

Police charged Young with three counts of wanton endangerment, fleeing and evading, and several other traffic violations. He also had an outstanding warrant for failure to appear and a felony parole violation.

RULE: You Can't Outrun the Cops, Two-Way Radios and an Empty Gas Tank

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**43►Don't Play Games with an Professional Gamer◄**

**MURFREESBORO, Tennessee** \- The city is part of the Nashville metropolitan area and it's a fast-growing area. Murfreesboro was ranked by Money Magazine as the 84th best place to live in the United States for cities with a population over 50,000, so this is no redneck little town. The name doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but people wanted to honor Revolutionary War hero Colonel Hardy Murfree, so they dropped the old name, Cannonsburgh, another mouthful. The city was also the state capital until 1826, when Nashville took over, probably because of a better name and good guitar music.

Enter Corey "Grizz" Harper, a well-liked and easy-going salesman – most of the time. Corey dealt in video games, a long-time passion. He was also a gaming expert at the _Play-N-Trade_ video games store on North Thompson Lane. The store is quite a place, with video games, players and such. They offer all kinds of services, even repair, of just about anything. And they'll buy just about anything – but not everything.

But an Xbox had been robbed and it would get Corey's dander up. Really up. But he didn't know about it yet. Now enter Matthew Reive, a character who seems to attract trouble. The shifty looking guy showed up at _Play-N-Trade_ with an X-Box 360 in-hand. BINGO! It wasn't just any X-Box 360; it would turn out to be the stolen property of Corey Harper. _"I became livid, instantly,"_ said Corey. _"I somehow just knew that I just got robbed again..."_ And Corey Grizz Harper growled, _"As soon as I saw the faceplate I said, 'That's mine!"_ Harper and colleague, Noah Trapp, did their best to detain Reive while they alerted authorities. Was it a Grizz bear hug? Was it a _trap_? The sheriff arrived before any serious damage was done and arrested the crook who had come to sell stolen goods. Where did he get the hot merchandise? It was a B&E job that had just occurred. But Corey knew it was his game, and just to make sure, he raced home and discovered that, indeed, his house had been burglarized. Wow. This dude steals an Xbox from the home of the game store owner and then tries to sell it back?

They charged Reive with aggravated burglary and vandalism. The brazen, just plain lazy, or really clueless crook, was in the store trying to sell back an X-BOX 360, its controller and a dozen video games. All games have serial numbers. This doesn't even work at Wal-Mart any more. The Play-N-Trade store does buy, sell, trade and repair new, used and retro games; but this time, Harper and associates weren't buying it. Still, they were happy to help out the customer – right out the door and into the sheriff's car.

**RULE: Be Careful Where You Play the Only Con Game in Town.**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**44►Let's Play Password◄**

**MOUNT AIRY, North Carolina** \- Mount Airy was a stagecoach stop in the 1750s and still has some old time flavor. Andy Griffith was born in Mount Airy and the town probably was the basis for the TV programs, _The Andy Griffith Show_ and _Mayberry RFD_. If you want to check into the facts, you can visit their Andy Griffith Museum.

But all was not well in Mount Airy. Two dudes thought they'd come up with a cute new way to get loot. Are you ready for this? Just pretend to be a cashier. But you need a password to open the register. So, they tried to steal passwords with the plan of robbing Wal-Mart cash registers. Just look at a big store during off peak – a line of empty registers. The crooks began videotaping the cashiers and watching them make every move. The passwords had to be somewhere in the videos. And once they had the passwords, just come back later, fire up the machine – just take the money and run. What could be simpler?

So, how do cashiers gain access to their registers at big stores like Wal-Mart when they start a shift? Obviously, the register is locked, or it would be the best instant cash deal on the planet. Cash register security goes back a long ways. Even in the 1800's, there were cash registers and cash boxes with ingenious security mechanisms. Most worked on the principle of pressing the right set of buttons in an array. A small store might use a key but the modern method in megastores is a password or code; maybe even a magnetic card and code, and that code my change with the card. The modern cash register is really a computer, linked to a bigger computer, and so on, and an employee password is the smart way to go. If an employee is terminated, so is their password, so no coming back to get even.

Let's see. Steal the password and rob the money. Is this a brand new cyber crime? Not really. Breaking into money boxes, and that's what a cash register is, in part, goes back centuries. And this scheme had been attempted at Wal-Mart stores around the area and in distant places. There are only two things to steal in a big box store, merchandise or cash. So if you are videotaping the register, store security is also videotaping you, the crooked videographer. The cash register area is just loaded with video cameras. Look around and you will see many, but not all, and that's the whole idea, to make it hard to look away from a camera.

Predictably, two men were arrested after using what they considered to be a high-tech technique to get passwords to steal money from cash registers at Wal-Mart. But this old and tired idea doesn't work because it's too obvious and every checkout line is covered by surveillance cameras including those aimed at the cashier, the customer and the till. Right, cashiers get caught too. Police caught up with the digital duo and considered it a good to catch because these guys had been targeting several Wal-Mart and other stores around the area. Sooner or later, they might get some money, or even grab money from an open register in desperation.

Police stopped the pair in their PT Cruiser a short distance from the store and took them into custody early in the morning. While they had attempted to obtain passwords and open cash registers there, the store security was watching and waiting to spring. But couldn't the scheme work with a little luck? This crime is so old, that stores have had plenty of time to invent ways to thwart crooks, including the use of employee magnetic ID cards that require a password that matches the card, but is not shown on the card.

Steven James Belza, 29, and Jason Ray Billings, 28 were arrested and charged with attempted larceny and other crimes. We can wonder if they're paying close attention to the prison's lock system.

RULE: When You Go Out for Wool, You May Come Back Shorn.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**45►Can You Outrun a GPS Tracker, a Chopper and K-9s?◄**

**DeBARY, Florida** – We've already visited (#40) DeBary this small, historic city that lies in Volusia County, Florida on the northern shore of the St. Johns River near Lake Monroe. But some of actual crime occurred in adjacent Orange City that's even smaller. Orange City isn't known for much, not even oranges, but it does have one small distinction. Gaylord DuBois, author of the novel The Lone Ranger, eventually moved there and that is his final resting place.

This may be a lesson in how not to rob a bank. The story begins when a retired mailman was puttering in his garage in DeBary, only to be surprised by an armed trio standing in his driveway. He was held at gunpoint, tied up, and then robbed by masked men. What's going on here? A retired mailman is not a high-value target. The three then swiped his 1995 white Lincoln Town Car, their real motive. But such a car in this area of Florida would be easy to spot. Retirement communities are populated by big, usually old, SUVs or really little economy cars for some odd reason. While our victim listened to his car drive away, he was getting out of the wires and cords used to tie him up. While rope is more challenging, the plastic wires were slippery enough that our mailman did a 60-second Houdini act. Presto! Call the sheriff!

The car description was out quickly and Volusia County law enforcement was on the lookout. The crooks drove about 4-miles to Orange City where they knocked off a bank. One guy jumped over the counter to make sure the clerk didn't add some funny money that would explode in a cloud of purple dye. The other two shot out the bank windows for no apparent reason, but it certainly made "armed robbery" easy to prove and added a bunch of extra charges.

Off they went, but someone had already spotted the white Lincoln that had just been abandoned. It didn't take long to locate car #2 for two reasons, one low tech and the other, very high tech. First, the driver was driving erratically and that seems to be the norm for get away drivers. A sheriff was already in pursuit just waiting for backup. The bank teller had added something extra. Was it exploding dye? No, that's getting old. The teller had added a GPS tracking device and that's even better than exploding dye. The erratic driver managed to crash car #2, his own car, and that also seems to be the norm. Where do they find such bad getaway drivers?

The car-less trio then ran into the woods. The cover is a little sparse here so hiding doesn't work very well. Here comes Air One, the Volusia County Sheriff's Office prize chopper – a modified military type machine that's ready 24/7 with even a backup spare. The chopper has the latest cameras and other gear and a crew of two. While the chopper made sure that the crooks didn't leave the woods, the K-9 squad was unleashed – literally. They caught all three and one of the dogs bit the crooks for good measure. Well, the dogs occasionally get to put the bite on crime.

So how did they get caught? Bad knots, using telephone cord instead of ties or rope, bad driving, shooting out windows to alert people near the bank, trying to outrun a big fast chopper, trying to hide from well-trained dogs and sending out a homing signal with the GPS tracker they unwittingly carried. And they didn't learn anything from past mistakes. All of them had extensive violent criminal histories according to Volusia County Sheriff Ben Johnson.

RULE: Don't Multiple your Mistakes or they'll Add Up to a Long Sentence

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**46►Videographer Becomes Video Hit with the Judge◄**

**RANCHO PENASQUITOS, California** – Rancho Peñasquitos is a beautiful small community in the northeastern part of the city of San Diego. It is named after the first Spanish Land Grant in the County - Rancho de Los Peñasquitos and the name means _"little cliffs"_ in Spanish. And who lives here? Mostly, high-income couples; six-figure salaried couples with children who live upscale. They are highly educated professionals working in finance, medical, and high-tech fields. So, the area is an obvious target for crooks from surrounding areas. But old fashion hold-ups and muggings isn't a good modus operandi.

Well, what kind of crook operates in a high-tech town? Although a crook doesn't need a PhD (or he would be working), they appear to need some tech-savvy. And high tech crooks are thought to be the smart ones, but they keep getting caught as we shall see. Credit card skimming is one of the more popular crimes, especially in areas where people don't carry much cash. The crook uses an electronic _skimmer_ to get your card information. The card skimmer is a _bogus card reader_ that captures your credit card data when you insert the card into the slot. But this requires that the skimmer be placed over the real card reader in the ATM machine. The skimmer slot can look like the real bankcard reader, but will have an extra section for batteries and for data storage since it's a "portable" device. The extra section might look genuine and may have some instructions, but it is an add-on that is obvious to anyone with a little experience, especially law enforcement and bank personnel. So, if your favorite ATM machine looks different, be wary.

But fortunately for you, your card data is not enough. The crook needs your pin number, too. So the skimmer will often have a hidden camera that is activated when you insert the card. Some skimmers have a key board overlay so that your keystrokes are recorded to get your pin number, but these are less common and more obvious as bogus. Our crook took a more direct approach and placed several cameras around. Sounds tech-savvy smart, right? How could anyone ever get caught when they're not even there? We should mention that it might take brains to design and build a skimmer, but not to place one on the ATM and come back and collect it later.

Now enter Daniel Axinte. He is a San Diego man accused of placing a card-skimming device on a bank security door and on ATM machines so he could steal data from thousands of customers. He initially pleaded not guilty to 45 charges, including identity theft and burglary, but authorities had very strong evidence. So he changed his plea to guilty in a later court hearing and maybe he's wising up. Yes, our crook is in big trouble. He was held on $1 million bond, certainly the indication of the seriousness of the crime. Axinte, 49, faces more than 20 years in prison if convicted, and that's very likely. But with the plea bargaining, he probably will be out in a year or two with some new tricks. So what went wrong?

In addition to the debit card skimming device on the bank's security door, our crook also installed several hidden cameras. As pointed out earlier, these card crooks need to capture customer PINs while they're using ATMs. Adding hidden cameras on and near ATMs is not so new and we cover the topic in other cases. The solid evidence showed that Axinte probably stole more than 970 ATM/debit cards with an estimated loss of well over a quarter of a million dollars.

Once he had all the data from the skimmers and cameras, Axinte reconfigured debit cards with stolen personal information and withdrew money from victims' accounts, mostly in $500 increments. The San Diego Regional Fraud Task Force got on the case and got results although their investigation takes long enough so that some money can be stolen, unfortunately.

So how does the skimmer crook get caught? Most will eventually get caught using the bogus cards when their face keeps showing up in surveillance videos. He would have been caught right away if someone had seen him add the phony equipment, or security had noticed on their cameras, but this didn't happen. The first alert is when a customer tells the bank that someone has stolen money - their bank card identity. But when a second and third customer reports the same crime, with the same MO ($500 withdrawals), then it's a red flag for skimming at the bank. Investigators determined that someone had been placing the card-skimming device on the security door accessing the bank lobby and on their ATM machines.

Now it will be easy to catch the crook, but a little time-consuming. All of the locations are covered by surveillance cameras, so the criminal act had almost certainly been captured, just not noticed in real time. A bank investigator reviewed surveillance videos and confirmed that the same suspect had installed the skimmer and cameras on five previous weekends. Crooks have to act like real customers when installing devices, so they provide great mug shots in the videos.

Since investigators from the fraud task force had clear photos of the perp, they conducted surveillance at the branch and arrested Axinte. The capture is just about certain, even when the name of the crook is unknown. And if he never returned to the bank, eventually his mug shots would appear on TV and in newspapers, and the Internet. Some of the same technology used by the crook, led to his downfall.

RULE: If you're a crooked videographer, you will become a video hit in court.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**47►Catch Me if You Can◄**

**NEW YORK, New York** – The Big Apple needs no introduction. A lot happened and NYC has inspired plenty of TV shows involving bad guys, so here's our dumb bad guy. Victor Burgos was wanted by the police. Burgos was wanted on domestic violence and harassment warrants in Utica, NY, but police had lost track and needed a little help. And then came unexpected help. There on Facebook, was the information that could help. Here was a video of the fugitive walking into a NYC Police Station. Wow, what's going on here? Unfortunately, it was an unidentified NYPD stationhouse, or so it seemed. Now there was some incentive to catch this guy. In the video, Burgos was seen writing, _"Catch me if you can, I'm in Brooklyn."_ It may seem like a cute idea to taunt the police, but that's like painting a target on your back. Cops have a lot of pride and poking fun at them on FB is likely to get all of them looking for you.

And that's just what happened. Burgos was the unofficial public enemy #1 in Brooklyn. Finally, they got their man. U.S. Marshals and NYPD arrested Burgos in a Brooklyn apartment. As fate would have it, he was at his laptop updating Facebook when they grabbed him. He deleted the posts from his Facebook account, but the _"horse was out of the barn"._ Actually, it is probably impossible to really delete anything that's been on the Internet. It's on a server somewhere. The man was placed under arrest and taken to Oneida County where he faced charges related to domestic violence and harassment of his ex-girlfriend.

So what was the man's motivation? Who knows, but a lot of crooks like to tell the world about their exploits and how smart they "think" they are. The Utica police sergeant was pleased that NYPD obliged their wanted perp. After all, he asked them, via Facebook, to come and get him - and they came and got him.

Of course this guy was dumb on several counts. While Brooklyn is a big place, giving away the location certainly helped. Also, showing a video of one of the police precincts helped narrow the field. You can bet every precinct was trying to match up the building shots. Also, letting everyone know that you have a Facebook page is quite useful for tracking by your Internet address. Maybe, he even listed the physical address. Whatever he did, it was traceable. But motivating authorities to come after you is the winner for this loser.

RULE: Careful What You Ask for, You may Get it.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**48►Case of the Copycat Taunter?◄**

**PORTLAND, Oregon** – Portland is located near the end of the Oregon Trail in the marine west coast climate region and has weather marked by both warm, dry summers and wet, cool-to-chilly winter days. This climate is ideal for growing roses and so the place has been called the "City of Roses" for over a century. But all is not a bed of roses as we'll see in the next case.

Do crooks like to post on Facebook? Yes, yes, yes; they love it as we've just seen. Maybe they just want to be _liked_ , but more likely, they use FB to mouth off and get into more trouble. We've just covered the case of the Brooklyn Braggart and taunter who used FB to get caught. Now, maybe our Oregonian didn't get the idea from him, but there are similarities. A guy named James Tindell skipped out of state this spring and didn't attend drug treatment as promised. The drug treatment was part of a deal to get probation. Renege on a deal and you go onto the wanted list. Seems that Tindell got off a little easy and avoided prison after pleading guilty to robbery in 2010. Violating such an easy probation stipulation is a dumb move because he became a wanted man who would be sent to prison when caught – no dealing.

Now if you are wanted by the cops, you hang low, right? But rather than do everything possible to avoid detection, our guy used Facebook. Not only did he paste himself all over the Internet, he used FB to taunt his probation officer. What is it with these taunters? He also wrote rather nasty messages about the Multnomah County judge who sentenced him, too. And that, after he got off so lightly. How many "unlikes" can he get? This is not going to end well. So what did Tindell write? You guessed it, _"Catch me if you can."_ And he just had to write, _"The 1 who got away."_ He didn't really get away, he just walked away from probation into the category of a wanted felon.

Maybe Tindell didn't realize who might be reading his Facebook page, but why not assume it's the people you are writing about. And just like our Brooklyn FB friend, this dude gave away his location with a post, _"I'm in Alabama."_ Now, we've narrowed down the location to one state and we might check Internet records, too, but are there more free clues for the cops? Our arrogant "escapee" and taunter also posted a sonogram of his unborn son. _"Oh, look here at the hospital name and ID coding"._

This is getting too easy. With the name of the hospital and patient ID number, the catch was all but assured. But it gets easier. Since our guy had left Oregon, an all-state warrant was issued and put into the national computer. Tindell was arrested for speeding in Daphne, AL and the officer got a hit when he ran the license and found the warrant.

Soon, he was on a flight to appear before the same judge he had criticized on Facebook, talk about irony. After all the nasty comments about the judge that were read into the court record, it didn't look good at all. Tindell, in tears, pleaded for leniency. Pleas for another chance fell on deaf ears. _"So how could you now be asking for me to give you another chance to avoid prison?",_ said the judge. The judge sentenced him to 2 ½ years in prison and ordered him to reimburse the state for the cost of flying him back: $2,600. No free rides to Oregon and no free Internet in prison. Oh, and the probation officer was a Facebook fan who befriended his lost client. See Sheriff's Department photo above.

RULE: Wanted? Lay Low and Shut Up You Face.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**49►Smile for the Live Cameras you're Stealing◄**

**LINDA, California** – The city of about 15,000 people is not known for much of anything. Its sound-alike sister cities, like Yorba Linda, boast famous people like Richard Nixon. But Linda has some interesting crooks who want to be famous. Crooks steal just about anything – anything that can be turned into quick cash. But this crook had a fetish for cameras – security cameras. Maybe he was looking for a career in the booming security business that is a consequence of too many crooks. After all, stores and even homeowners are increasingly fighting crime with high tech surveillance systems. Whatever the reason, Keith E. Cook-Fisher, decided to stock up on cameras. The cameras he wanted were used, but in good condition. In fact, the cameras were in operation while he acquired them. They were part of a security system at Harmony Health Clinic in the city of Linda. Keith, and an accomplice, broke into the clinic and systematically removed 12 cameras making sure to treat them carefully so as not to cause any damage. Once disconnected and removed from brackets, he carted them off without a problem, or so he thought. And Keith had good indications that these cameras were in good working order. Each camera displayed a blinking red light.

You guessed it. The cameras recorded the theft and there were nice clear pictures as the crooks looked at the cameras as they were being unbolted and removed. The duo should have done a little research first. Where is the video recording media? No, no, no, it's not in the camera. Even home surveillance uses a remote recorder, typically the hard drive on your computer. The commercial cameras feed a master control system, or a computer, that store the videos on a hard drive or memory card. Some systems take a photo a few times each minute, but go into enhanced mode when entry is detected, generally by a motion sensor. The _enhanced mode_ can produce a very clear video and the resolution is often boosted to full. The master surveillance unit might be locked away in a very secure place and that place should be unobvious, like a basement, a built-in wall cabinet, or some hard-to-find and hard-to-access location. This makes sense since the crooks will try and steal or destroy the potential evidence.

But our crooks didn't even look for a recording device and that was their undoing, at least for Keith, the one who was quickly caught. And his helper will likely be caught because of the clear videos that have been posted, or Keith may decide to "squeal". Deputies were able to recover six of the stolen cameras from Keith and his partner presumably has the other six. But even without his partner in crime in the lockup, Keith was booked into the Yuba County Jail on suspicion of conspiracy to commit a crime, a felony offense since the video evidence told the story. It must have been a hilarious movie where the two yakked on about their endeavor. The movie will be appearing in a court near you assuming you live in Yuba County.

RULE: Before you Break into a New Business, Get the Big Picture

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**50►We Dig this Video◄**

**EUREKA, California** – This California city with a famous name was home for actor Lloyd Bridges and president Ulysses S. Grant. Founded during the gold rush, it was an early lumber center, especially for redwoods. Some say the place is isolated from the active part of California and not much happens. But when something actually happens, it can be strange, like this case dealing with grave robbers, a nearly obsolete crime. But the crook stayed above ground and that's much more common.

How do you catch grave robbers? It's not easy since it usually dark and not many locations have cameras. But in this case, it was somewhat easy. James Edward Truhls was arrested on suspicion of removing artifacts from a burial ground at Patrick's Point State Park. No one saw him and there were no surveillance cameras, so how was he caught? He did himself in, like so many dumb crooks and that's something to be thankful about.

Actually it was _"bragging video"_ that did him in. It wasn't enough to steal sacred Native American artifacts; this crook had to tell the world. The investigation centered around a video the suspect created and subsequently posted on YouTube showing him digging at the village site within Patrick's Point State Park. Authorities obtained a search warrant for YouTube and were able to determine the location of the computer used to upload the video and to subsequently identify the suspect. OK, they tracked the crook down with YouTube information, but how did they know he was the bad guy? Mr. Truhls made that easy by posting his mug in the video. A pre-mug shot is always appreciated by the cops.

Now that they had his address and photo, how did they make the grab when the guy was always on the move? They obtain his cellular phone number and convince Truhls to come in for questioning. They didn't even need a bogus prize scheme. And state park rangers also had a warrant to search his home that day and had found several artifacts from the North Coast and other areas.

They then arrested James Truhls on suspicion of removing artifacts from a burial ground, disturbing or removing archaeological features, possession of stolen property and disturbing artifacts — two misdemeanor counts and two felony counts. He pleaded guilty to illegally excavating a Native cultural site and was sentenced to 30 days in jail, 60 hours of community service and ordered to pay a $350 fine for illegally removing artifacts from a cultural site of the Yurok tribe. Truhls could have received up to one year in prison and a $10,000 fine. The judge had previously dropped a grave-looting charge which potentially carried a stronger sentence.

The Native American tribe thought the sentence was rather light, but were pleased with the successful conviction. Truhls had removed arrowheads and an awl along with many other artifacts found in his home during the search. The site that Truhls looted was a former Yurok village that had been inhabited over 400 years before European contact according to archeological evidence presented at the trial. Yurok elders issued a statement that _"Disturbing burial sites is considered one of the most offensive crimes committed against Yurok ancestor"._ Yuroks are commonly buried with items that represented the personality of the deceased while he or she was alive. These items follow them into the afterlife. If they are removed, it literally steals a part of the identity for the deceased on the "other side." For the Yurok Tribe, it's a crime that is considered one of the most offensive committed against ancestors. These items likely came from Yurok burial grounds and removing them from this sacred place is disrespectful and a violation of Yurok traditional law, as well as state and federal law.

The Native Americans, and probably the cops, hope that the pillaging crook is haunted by his actions.

RULE: Don't Dig Around in Graves, or the Cops will Dig around for you.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**51►Nice Bracelet◄**

**GREENSBORO, North Carolina** – The city of Greensboro was named for Major General Nathanael Greene, commander of the American forces at the Battle of Guilford Court House in 1781. The place is just loaded with history and is a large active city today. There's plenty of crime, of course, and bad stuff happens, including shootings. Not everyone gets caught, but this shooter did, and here's how it went down.

Police received a call in late afternoon reporting a shooting in the Hudgins Drive area. Officers found the victim, Angelo Thomas, suffering from a gunshot wound to his lower extremities and sent him off to the hospital. Police got a tip that the shooter was 17-year-old Antonio Tyrone Haizlip, a guy that they knew quite well. But they needed to place him at the shooting scene and had no cooperative witnesses, an unfortunate consequence of the "Don't snitch" attitude..

But they went ahead and arrested Antonio and charged him with assault with a deadly weapon with the intent to inflict serious injury. His bail was set at $50,000. So how could they pin the rap on Bad Antonio? Maybe he had a cell phone that was "pinged" in the vicinity of the crime? No, that wasn't going to work. How about a GPS? A modern GPS receiver can be fairly accurate and could stand up in court. But that might be asking too much – a GPS on the bad guy?

Surprise! Antonio had an accurate and functional GPS unit on his body and it told the story. Wait a minute; this guy with no phone has a high-tech GPS? Right! Haizlip was wearing a Wrist-let _monitor bracelet_. He was being monitored electronically because he was a suspect in an earlier robbery. Greensboro has a deal for crooks, hang out in jail awaiting trial, unless you post bond, or wear a monitor. Dumb or smart, virtually all the crooks go for the bracelet.

Detectives were able to use the information from the bracelet to make the arrest. The system had recorded Antonio's movements very precisely and placed him at the scene of the shooting – _exactly when it took place_. They could even tell his speed and direction of travel. With a little work, one can clearly paint a picture of the perps' moves and actions. While the purpose of the bracelet is to see if the wearer is keeping curfew, this one helped with the crime investigation.

Is this an invasion of privacy? Not really, and it works both ways. While the GPS placed Anthony at the scene of the crime, it has cleared others. If a bracelet-wearer is accused of a crime, the data log might show that he was home or with relatives. So those who are trying to go straight actually like the bracelet.

**RULE: You may Quiet Witness but not Electronic Ones.**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**52►Batman Made Me Do It◄**

**PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania** – Pittsburgh is known as Steel City for its early prominence in steel making and its more than 300 steel-related businesses. It's also the City of Bridges for almost 500 of these structures. There are plenty of famous people in addition to the many in sports, who worked in the area including medicos like polio vaccine developer Jonas Salk, MRI inventor Paul Lauterbur and pediatric Benjamin Spock.

Crime is relatively low for a large city, but bad stuff can happen and it can be dumb. Pittsburgh police said a man tried to carjack and was quickly apprehended. Well, carjacking happens all the time, so what makes this one special? First, the target was a police car driven by a detective. Officer Bob DiGiacomo was driving his unmarked Chevy Impala in Shadyside, looking for bad guys. Shadyside? Where else would you look for bad guys? Suddenly, 21-year-old Micah Calamosca jumped into the passenger side of the vehicle. So, the guy looks dumb, right? But, let's say that the standard issue Chevy didn't look like a cop car, and maybe DiGiacomo didn't look like a cop. Right, plainclothes guys stand out. But there is there more.

Micah had a great explanation. He claimed the carjacking was part of a movie shoot. _"OK, fine"_ , said the detective, _"Just get out of my car"_. He was looking for bad guys, not nut cases. But Micah wasn't going to be foiled and insisted on completing the hijacking. Enough is enough, so the cop pulled out his gun and arrested the dude.

But Micah insisted that his actions were part of a movie - a new Batman movie. Not, just any old Batman move, it was filming for "The Dark Knight Rises" and so taking the vehicle was definitely in the script. Right, the script instructed him to steal a vehicle – this one. OK, sounds reasonable, but the cops wanted Micah to discuss the plot. Our guy was last seen in the Allegheny County Jail awaiting a mental evaluation. No, he was not an actor, or an extra.

Want a real touch of irony? There was a second cop who helped with the apprehension and arrest. It was an off-duty, out-of-town police officer. Amazingly, the officer works on the "Dark Knight" set as a security officer. Maybe Micah isn't crazy!

RULE: Think you're Scripted, then make sure you're in the Right Movie.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**53►A History Lesson for Counterfeiters◄**

ATTLEBORO, Massachusetts \- In 1634, English settlers first arrived in the territory that is now Attleboro. It has a long and sometimes sordid history. It was once known as "The Jewelry Capital of the World" for its many jewelry manufacturers. The small town is in close proximity to Rhode Island, a state that also claimed to be the Jewelry Capital at one time.

A Rhode Island man drove over the state line to Attleboro in order to shop at a Target store. Dana Leland of Central Falls, RI shopped around, picked out a few small items and then went to checkout. So far, nothing unusual. Some Rhode Islanders shop in Massachusetts at the larger malls that have more variety than offered in the tiniest state of Rhode Island. Dana paid with cash using a $100 bill instead of a twenty to cover his small purchase. Warning flag? Yup, a small purchase using a big bill is a common MO for counterfeiters. As might be expected, cashiers get a little nervous when handed big bills, especially a C-Note. And here was someone from out-of-state that added to the suspicion since the items were not very special. A good cashier knows how to spot an obviously phony bill, but some of the really good bogus bills can be a challenge. In this case, the clerk knew it was a bad deal trying to go down, right from the start – so she hit the alarm.

So did the clerk use some high tech gear to make the instantaneous confirmation? Laser scanner? Special chemical pen? Digital bill scanner? Nope, she just looked at the picture of Abraham Lincoln. It was a very nice picture of Abe and it looked very authentic. The color was right, the pose was right, but something just didn't seem right. What gave it away? Isn't Abe supposed to be on money? Yes, Abe is a very popular portrait among people who handle money, but Honest Abe is supposed to be on the $5 bill.

" _Hold on a minute, this here picture ain't Ben Franklin, so it ain't a real $100 bill"_. Dana was quickly arrested and held on $1,000 cash bail. No, they wouldn't let him out no matter how many Lincoln C-Notes he tendered. In fact, they were now evidence.

He pleaded not guilty in Attleboro District Court to charges of uttering a counterfeit note and possession of a counterfeit note. There were no additional charges for getting the presidents wrong. Maybe he thought that the bearded dude was Ben Franklin. Leland's lawyer said her client has struggled with problems and untreated mental health issues – he just had a relapse, that's all. Sounds like a lapse of memory of history, too. Maybe he never saw a $100 bill and didn't have an Internet connection. A nice bank might have let him look at some bills and maybe even do a sketch, but in front of a security camera.

**RULE: Devil's in the Details. Know the Presidents or the Buck Stops at the Cashier.**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**54►Don't Shoot Yourself in the Foot - Period◄**

**WINTER PARK, Florida** – This lovely town is a quiet place, but has experienced periods of excitement. Back in 1981, a sinkhole formed and swallowed a tree and large house. The hole widened to 320 feet and swallowed five Porsches, a pickup truck with camper top, the Winter Park municipal pool, and large portions of Denning Drive. Since then, things have _settled_ down.

Tracy Joyce loved his nice blue Volvo and took good care of the car. Tragedy struck and Mr. Joyce lost his pride and joy Volvo, apparently to a car thief. He really liked that blue Volvo and wondered why anyone would steal this type of car. After all, it was not very high on the list of popular cars to steal. It wouldn't make a good getaway car since it was pokey, but it was a safe ride. Would he ever see the car again? Tracy was riding through Winter Park one pleasant afternoon when he saw a blue Volvo. How he wished for his old blue Volvo. Maybe he could talk the owner of this look-alike into selling it. He decided to follow the car and make a buy proposal to the owner. So Tracy followed the blue Volvo that was the same year as his own. Not only was it the same color, same model and same year – it was HIS car!

So, Joyce followed his own car and called the police. The cops responded quickly and just happened to have an unmarked car close by. As the detective activated the lights and slowed down in front of the stolen blue Volvo, the driver rammed the police car while Tracy watched the scenario unfold. But the Volvo wasn't going anywhere as it was nicely boxed in by several police cars and they knew how to handle ramming.

Officers were ready to grab the driver, 18-year old Roger Donell Johnson, just after he had thrown the blue Volvo into reverse and hit the police car. The scenario finally ended when the teenager behind the wheel of the Volvo rammed the unmarked police car and fled, but with a whole lot of cops in pursuit. The kid had jumped from the car and started running with a dozen cops close behind him. This kid wasn't going down easy. He leapt over a hedge and pulled a .44-caliber gun from his waistband. This gunfight is not going to end well with a bunch of well-trained cops vs. a dumb crook. There was a gunshot, and just before all Hell broke loose, the kid dropped to the ground and grabbed his leg. The cops, of course, had drawn weapons as soon as they saw the gun. But none had fired. You guessed it; the perp shot himself in the leg during his quick draw maneuver. And he thought that he had a leg up on the cops. Maybe Johnson was aiming for his foot and was such a bad shot that he shot himself in the right calf.

He was booked into Orange County Jail after being treated at a hospital. Johnson was held on charges of grand theft of a motor vehicle, resisting arrest, carrying a concealed firearm and aggravated assault, trespass in a motor vehicle and possession of marijuana. Seems like he should also be charged with shooting a dumb crook, or maybe there's a reward for that kind of thing. The passenger in the Volvo, Gerald Jones, 18, was also arrested. That's the last time he's going to ride "shotgun" with shoot-from-the-hip Johnson.

One more dumb item. Three years earlier, Johnson was charged as an adult with attempted murder, aggravated battery and attempted carjacking. That case is pending so why is this guy on the street? That's what cops ask and they know the answer – lenient judges. And what kind of car had he tried to hijack in the earlier incident? A Volkswagen.

RULE: Bad driver, don't know cars, a lousy shot? Stay in jail for safety.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**55►Be Careful How You Stay Cool◄**

**M** **IAMI BEACH, Florida** – Miami is on the Atlantic coast of southeastern Florida with a population of almost a half-million. Miami has been ranked as the richest city in the United States so it's an opportune location for crooks. Actually, Jupiter, Florida has the most money per capita, but not much crime with its well-guarded mansions. Miami has inspired a bunch of cops and detective shows, so you know that stuff happens here.

Just after midnight at the Shell Gas Station, someone spotted a suspicious trio and called the police. They were more than a little suspicious looking. All three were putting on ski masks. Well, skiing isn't very popular in southern Florida. Even if it snowed, you'd have to leave the state to find a decent hill in the flattest state – or at least the state with the lowest elevation. Miami averages only 20 feet above sea level. But wait, the trio was toting guns. Let's see, ski masks, guns – they're up to no good and that's what police thought, too.

Miami Beach Police saturated the area quickly and were pretty sure that the ski mask bandits were still around. The cops quickly apprehended two of the men near the gas station, while the third one ran for it. Miami's finest wanted all three and it wasn't likely that the other two crooks would finger their partner with the belief that _"snitches get stitches"_. So off went the cops in hot pursuit on a hot Miami night, heading toward the Manolo restaurant just down the street. But maybe the runaway crook was stopping for a quick bite to gain some quick energy. He was seen climbing up on the roof of the restaurant. Cops ran in and warned the cook and patrons that a bad guy was on the roof and he had a gun. Let's go get him! The cops climbed up and started to search. Apparently crook # 3 thought he could scare the cops and fired a shot or two. Dumb! That just upped the penalties and justified the use of lethal force by a bunch of cops with guns drawn. By this time, everyone in the restaurant was on the floor or under a table.

Now, enter the SWAT team, just like on TV. This gung ho team was on the scene and on the roof and they were definitely going to get their man. OK, where was he? The subject was hiding inside the A/C duct of the restaurant and he wasn't coming out. Sure it was hot, but the AC duct sends out hot air. An elite K-9 was boosted to the roof as a chopper circled. _"The dog will come in and get you so move"._ K-9's are very good at roofs and ducts. This guy must really be dumb if he doesn't come out. His fate will be a few dog bites or a few bullets. But the crook was stuck. Apparently, the crook was energized by the fear of dogs and about two-dozen heavily armed SWAT members. Perp #3 eventually freed himself from the duct and SWAT team members grabbed him. The cops got their men by staying cooler than the dude in the AC. This crook is lucky to be alive. Never shoot at a SWAT team or a K-9 squad.

RULE: You can run, climb and hide, but not for long from SWAT, choppers and dogs.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**56►Small Town Detective Catches Big Forger◄**

**THEODORE, Alabama** – Theodore is a small town in Alabama where not much happens. The place was named for William Theodore Hieronymous who was once the postmaster. Williamsburg was already taken and no one could say the last name, so the middle name got the vote and that's a good thing.

Evelyn Thibeault owns Mail and Ship, a small business in the small town. As the unimaginative name suggests, she packages and ships all kinds of stuff since that's her business. Her website says it all, _"We are family owned and operated"_ , not some big impersonal franchise. So when you stop in, you will be dealing with a neighbor and an owner who offers you _"personalized service without the hassle..."_ Sounds like a good place to do business if you like no hassle treatment. Evelyn is a nice lady, a very savvy business person - and an amateur detective. At first she didn't ask any detective questions, but had a curious new customer that might need detecting. A man named Humphrey started doing business at her shop at least three times a week. He was shipping a lot of packages and they were all express and they were all overnight. Well, in a slow Alabama town, ya don't ship overnight very often. And sometimes he shipped 30 items at a time. That got Evelyn's detective instincts going full bore. When you ship that many packages, something isn't right. But you can't call the cops because someone is giving you a lot of business. And there didn't seem to be anything illegal going on here.

Then came the break. Humphrey asked that an item be printed for his email, but it was a misprint that was highlighted by the spell checker. Evelyn read it and realized that there was suspicious activity. Evelyn called police who arrived just as Mr. Humphrey was getting ready to ship his big order. And the town cops called in for help in nearby Mobile, Alabama. The Mobile Police Financial Crimes Unit was able to take the suspect into custody with the evidence on hand. So what was going on here?

Evelyn's #1 customer had 443 forged money orders that totaled almost a half-million dollars. He was mailing these all over the United States and his customers were also crooks involved in scams. The forgeries were all CVS money orders in two denominations, $975 or $975.45. They were very good forgeries that could be run through a computer system just like a counterfeit cashier's checks. The account information was real, but the check or money order wouldn't clear the last bank in the sequence. Unfortunately, bad check crooks aren't always caught on the spot like our forger and they typically give phony addresses. But here we have their mailing addresses. We sure hope that all of Humphrey's clients are tracked down.

Our small-town crook had nearly $2 million worth of counterfeit money orders so police arrested 40-year-old David Humphrey for forging the money orders. He was charged with criminal possession of a forged instrument. Likely, he's been involved with these crimes for some time. He had already mailed approximately $1.6 million worth of these fraudulent money orders.

Evelyn is glad she was able to help uncover a crime that could save potential victims lots of grief. Our small town detective is also a caring person, and hopes that nobody cashed that money and that nobody is going to be harmed by having those money orders in their bank account. And the case started here but doesn't end here. Authorities are investigating where the money orders were being sent and who was cashing in on them. Congratulations Evelyn.

RULE: Don't underestimate the power of amateur detectives.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**57►The Find My Truck App◄**

**LOUISVILLE, Kentucky** – Seems like we just left Louisville and now we're back. In fact, before we're done, there will be a few more stops in the _city of weird crooks_. You may recall that Louisville has always been progressive and can boast to being the first large space lighted by Edison's light bulb way back in 1883 at the Southern Exposition.

Ever since Kentuckians _saw the light_ , the state has kept up with the latest technology. And they wanted to use high tech to save money. They needed an efficient means of keeping track of their vast fleet of vehicles. Their idea was to use the same technology that's been used by taxi fleets and trucking lines. Just install a vehicle locator and tie it into a computer used by the dispatcher. Today, this is even easier since smart phones can be used, but the GPS tracking can be built in, and is often incorporated into a two-way radio for radio-dispatched fleets. So, in order to track state vehicles and save on gas, GPS units were installed in all of the state's fleet. So how is it working out?

The move to cut costs across the state has already paid off in unexpected ways. Forgot where you left your city truck? Just ask dispatch. But what if your parked truck is moving down the highway? No problem! So when a worker at the Department of Highway garage noticed a vehicle missing, they were a little surprised that it was moving. The supervisor called in the Kentucky State Police. The state computer was able to track that vehicle and give the police a location – and even tell how fast it was moving. It worked great. The state police easily found the truck and driver. KSP arrested Mark Vera without incident as he was concocting a story about helping out the Highway Department. No go – his ride from start to finish, had been recorded and he was a thief. State police said they wished all vehicles had the GPS equipment. In most cases, stolen vehicles end up as scrap or left burned on the side of a lonely road. Saving the truck from a strip shop had thus saved a lot more money than the expected gas savings for a long time. While most are familiar with the LoJack locator/anti-theft technology, using GPS efficiency systems like the one adopted by Kentucky, is also catching thieves.

RULE: Watch out for Tracking Satellites.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**58►An Apple Catches Thieves◄**

**DOUGLAS COUNTY, Colorado** \- The county is located midway between Colorado's two largest cities: Denver and Colorado Springs. It's beautiful country that is lightly wooded, mostly with ponderosa pine and has broken terrain characterized by mesas and small streams. Douglas County has the highest median household income of any Colorado county and some well off folks live here.

With plenty of malls and some really nice cars, theft can be a problem, but sometimes, cars just get misplaced. It's easy to lose your car in one of the convoluted mall parking lots. In fact, almost 99% of "lost cars" reported to mall security are found just where they were left. Yet this owner was sure about where the car was left. But Amy Farmer, the owner, consented to ride around the parking lot with a security officer to look for her WRZ Turbo Subaru. After the tour, no car had been spotted. Suddenly, Amy remembered that she had left her iPad inside her backpack and it was still in the car – at least, she hoped so. _"OK security, go to the Apple Store"._ What? No kidding, would Apple be able to help find the car when Security couldn't?

Amy ran up to the group of Apple Geniuses, the name given to the tech-savvy techs. Inside the store, it took the Apple Geniuses only seconds to understand the problem and the potential solution. The iPad has GPS, Wi-Fi and cellular communications links. And Amy had programmed "Find My Phone" to respond to an alert. Quickly, the data and password was entered into the Apple Store computer. In less than a minute, a map showed the iPad location. Even better, the iPad was moving right along. The crook had not discarded the iPad and maybe he wasn't even aware that it was riding along – and snitching on him. The program mapped the "target" and it was monitored street by street, turn by turn. So while one Genius monitored the iPad, another called police.

The dispatcher sent one car to look for Amy's car and another to the Apple Store. Police at the store took over to give the dispatcher directions for the traveling iPad and a better description of Amy's WRZ Turbo Subaru. The iPad was taking quite a ride and traveled on I-25 to I-70 to I-225 then to streets between Aurora, Arapahoe County to Denver. Police tried to use stop-spikes but failed to stop the stolen car and when Denver officers did "draw-down" on the suspect, near the Breakers, the bad guy somehow was able to get away and get lost inside the huge apartment complex.

The GPS probably saved her car from getting 'chopped' inside some local chop-shop.

Grand Theft Auto from the Park Meadows Mall brought no less than five police agencies together, as they tracked a suspect all over the metro area before recovering an Aurora woman's car. Last we heard, police were looking for prints and other clues within the car, and reviewing security videos of the approximately 20-year old driver. While LoJack and similar systems are the more common crook-catching devices, phones and tablets are gaining as GPS-enabled products become ubiquitous. In fact, it might be cheaper to just have an extra phone to leave in a hiding spot within the vehicle.

RULE: Thieves Alert: odds of GPS-tracking increase every day.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**59►How to Locate your Local Chopshop◄**

**HOUSTON, Texas** – Houston is the most populous city in Texas with over 2.1 million people. The city was named after General Sam Houston, who was president of the Republic of Texas and a tough battle-winning military man. The predominant form of transportation in Houston is the automobile or pickup truck and there is a 739-mile long freeway system. With all those vehicles, theft is a major crime and it is the #1 property crime in the U.S.

We've seen that GPS-based antitheft devices, like LoJack, and GPS-enabled hand-held gadgets, like the iPad, can catch car thieves. But can they track down illegal activities, too? Mr. and Mrs. Moreau notified police that their truck had been stolen. That was the bad news. But there was good news too, and that was that the truck was one of the 9-million vehicles equipped with an electronic tracking device known as LoJack. The tracker was activated and the alert was put out by police. Several Houston vehicles have LoJack locators that are supplied by the company. You may have seen police cars with 4 roof antennas that are used by a LoJack receiver to provide directionality. It didn't take long to get a "hit" and police were led to a north Houston house that appeared to be a chop shop. A strong radio signal came from the side yard of this residence. There was no doubt that the stolen vehicle was on this property. Detectives looked through the fence and could see the missing gray GMC 2006 pickup truck in the backyard. Rules of evidence and discovery can be tricky, so the police just can't break into the yard and say "Gotcha".

Police knocked on the door but got no answer so they started the process of getting a search warrant while keeping an eye on the property. But, about 20 minutes later, Luiz Ramirez opened the door to the house. And what does Ramirez have to say? He's not saying much and denies ownership. But the guy is a convicted felon who was out on bond for evading arrest. Investigators found the missing truck, dozens of tires and shiny 24 and 26-inch rims worth thousands of dollars. Rims and tires are stolen every day in Houston, and in cities all around the country. Hot items are typically sold to wheel shops or over the Internet on websites like Craigslist. Police also found stolen power tools, speakers and car seats made with what appeared to be lizard skin. And the list kept growing. Investigators also recovered three guns; two of them were stolen from a man who lives in Pennsylvania while he was visiting family in Houston during Christmas. Ramirez had a lot of explaining to do, but to the judge. LoJack had indirectly broken up a one-man crime spree.

**RULE: If it's a Hijack vs. LoJack, you lose.**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**60►Getting Caught When the Chips are Down◄**

**WASHINGTON, Pennsylvania** – Washington is a city that's the county seat of Washington County, Pennsylvania, within the Pittsburgh Metro Area in the southwestern part of the state. With a name like Washington, the first president must have slept here, right? There have long been rumors among locals that he spent the night in the region. Alas, this is not true; Washington was never in the area. But even with this almost history and great name, crime happens in this Washington as we shall see.

There was a chip heist and some detecting needed to be done. Chip heists mean different things in different places. In California, a _chip heist_ is big news. The California chips are micro-chips, the kind in your computer and smart phone. Crooks can make off with a big batch or even a truckload of costly computer chips, and they are valuable and small enough so that a truck load is worth millions. But not so in Pennsylvania. In fact, the state doesn't have even one semiconductor chip fab (fabrication factory). This PA robbery was at a local Subway in the middle of the night. What was stolen by the crook and how was he caught?

Police were able to crack this big chip heist by following a clear lead and their own noses. Investigators  claimed that 21-year old Benjamin Sickles broke out three glass windows at a Subway in Washington. He then broke a glass door and entered the store. All of the crashing glass happened around 2 am. He sure did a lot of breaking to get entry, so did he get away with a lot of loot? No, he was only able to haul away some food, and that's what led to his capture. Yes, he did try the cash register, but didn't have the talent it takes to open the locked till.

Police say they followed a trail of potato chips to catch this crook. Did they use bloodhounds or highly trained K-9? Nope, all they needed were flashlights. The cops followed a "trail of chips" to arrest our Pennsylvania crook after he broke three windows and one door to get at the chips. And he was only able to make off with nine bags of the potato crisps having come in without a sack used by crooks in cartoons. Why not use a Subway trash bag for loot? That would require a big leap of imagination.

But to be fair to the crook, he really wanted cold cash, but the cash register wasn't giving in. In frustration, he threw cups at the cash register, and it still didn't open. After all that effort, Sickel was not going to leave empty handed. So he grabbed two hands-full of chips and exited the Subway, but it wasn't a clean getaway.

When cops arrived, all they had to do was follow a trail of chips that led to the suspect sitting on the steps of Washington High School. He may have always wanted to flout the school rules and eat chips on the school steps from where he graduated, only a few years earlier. It sure wasn't a class reunion at 3 am. After getting a few dollars worth of chips, and not even getting to eat more than a few, he was charged with burglary, criminal trespass, theft, and criminal mischief. The bail was $30,000. The school may want to try and take back his diploma.

RULE: Don't Start your own Trail of Evidence Show

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**61►We are Watching You from Space◄**

**LOUISVILLE, Kentucky** – We're back to Louisville again and here's another auto theft. And the crook is going up against high tech. Recall, that the city GPS-enabled radios caught the truck crook. Maybe Louisville fell in love with high tech after Edison rigged up all those light bulbs back in 1883.

Jim Brown Auto Sales on Poplar Level Road got a call from a car owner who couldn't find his car. So why call your car dealer instead of the police? The owner was apparently behind in payments and wondered if the dealer took the vehicle. No, the car dealer hadn't decided to pick up the car - no _repro man_! The car should have been right where the owner parked it. It turned out that the car was equipped with state-of-the-art electronics including GPS tracking. Maybe the car had been stolen, but usually it's just a mistake, a lapse of memory. So the dealer went to work and logged in the data for that vehicle. The city map appeared on the monitor so the unit was working just fine. But there was a problem. The car was on the move. _"Hey, maybe your wife has the car?"_ No, it was supposed to be parked.

Even more surprising, the car was over in Jeffersonville, Indiana and there's no way it should be in another state. So that's when the dealer called police. The car GPS unit was providing great data and the dealer was able to relay step by step tracking to the police dispatcher.

The car was at McDonald's, then at a Swifty gas station. The dealer kept a close eye on the car and relayed every move to the police. The GPS gadget told all and this car was not going to get away, even if it was out of state. Now it was flying down I-65 at speeds up to 95 miles per hour. This dumb crook might have even got stopped without the GPS for speeding. The obvious number one rule for car thieves is _"Don't attract attention"_. The cops were closing in and being directed by satellite and 2-way radio.

Cops caught up to the car and the chase started in Jeffersonville, Indiana. But the car chase turned into a standoff because the thief was armed. The driver, Timothy Ray Webb age 45, broke down the door of his ex-girlfriend's home, and barged inside to create a standoff. Webb wasn't going anywhere with SWAT on the scene. _"You can walk out or get carried out"_ , said the negotiator. Webb decided he wasn't walking out and shot himself; not going back to prison. That's the way it happens sometimes.

But here's a side note. The owner had not installed the tracking device, so where did it come from? The tracking device was actually installed by the dealer, something that quite a few do on their own - quietly. It's collateral. If you don't make payments, the dealer wants his car back. You've seen repro TV where most of the show is about finding the vehicle. But that's the old fashioned way, and Louisville is tech-cool, right?

This tracker is about the size of a small cell phone and placed inside the vehicle, tucked away under the dash. As we suggested before, one could hide an iPhone in a car and use it to track, but there are commercial units that can do this with a lower cost outlay. The hidden gadget was able to track the whole time. When the indicator stayed on zero miles per hour, the dealer knew he had his vehicle back even though it was out of state. After things calmed down, the stolen car was returned to the victim later in the afternoon. Now that's good dealer service. Oh ya, better keep up on those payements.

**RULE:** Watch out for the Louisville Trackers

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**62►Case of the Sleeping Plumber◄**

**BRAINERD, Minnesota** \- Brainerd's slogan is _"Where Adventure Never Ends"_ , and we shall see action and some inaction. In 1870, Brainerd began its life as a small railroad town and was first called, _"The Crossing."_ Since it was a railroad town, the owner of the railroad named it after his wife, Anne Eliza Brainerd Smith. Well, that's a little different in terms of naming. Brainerd claims lumberjack Paul Bunyan as its native son and has the world's largest animated statue of the guy. Brainerd Minnesota is a city located at the geographical center of the state of Minnesota. The town grew rapidly and became a wild and wooly town with gambling, prostitution, gunfights and hangings. Let's see if anything has changed.

Everyone knows that it's hard to find a good plumber, one that isn't a crook. Some don't show up, others show their posteriors and still others sleep on the job.

Officers got a call around 11 am about a burglary inside a home. The house was being renovated and no one was home and no one should have been inside. But a neighbor spotted trouble and called police. The person who reported the crime wasn't sure what was going down. There was a man inside and he wasn't moving. Just laying there either passed out, asleep or maybe dead. Police converged and sure enough, there was a body – but it moved when confronted by police. The cops say 29-year-old, Kristopher Paul Poignee, was found asleep on the floor. He had broken a window to get in the house and was trying to steal copper pipes. Further investigation revealed that a detached garage had also been broken into, as was another unoccupied residence on Brook Street in which the door was pried open. Police were pretty sure that Poignee was also is responsible for that burglary. Maybe that's why he needed a nap. He either decided to take a rest before starting the plumbing job or took a short plumber's break. The man is in the Crow Wing County Jail resting.

RULE: Break-in Breaks won't cut you a Break

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**63►It's a Bird, its Superman, no; it's Really a Plane◄**

**BAY, Arkansas** \- Bay, Arkansas has a population of less than 2000 people but has easy access to larger cities; it's less than an hour from Memphis, Tennessee.

" _Someone's at my house"_ , the caller yelled on his 911 call that was accompanied by strange background noise. Steven Lynn knew that these guys were up to no good and they weren't going to get away with _"nothin"_. _"Where are you, are you in the house"_ , the 911 dispatcher wanted to know. _"Well, not exactly, but I've got a good eye on these guys"_. And sure enough, the house was being burglarized right in front of the owner. Two men were loading up air conditioners and other scrap metal items onto a trailer. Steven Lynn was already taking a video of the crime in progress. But Mr. Lynn felt helpless since he wasn't able to confront the crooks face to face.

" _Mr. Lynn, do you know which way they went?"_ the dispatcher wanted to know. Of course he did since Lynn was hot on the trail and was not going to be outrun or outgunned. It was wild, like something out of COPs TV and the victim was watching the whole thing go down, with a better view than if it were on TV.

You guessed it, the home owner was airborne. He had been sightseeing with his pilot friend and just happened to be flying over his own property. Steven Lynn had rented some flight time from a local pilot with plans to fly over his Bay home and take some pictures, a first, and a thrill – and a bonus. But just like any of these TV chases, the airborne unit, an airplane instead of the typical chopper, was giving turn by turn directions – much better than a GPS, especially in the Arkansas country. Lynn had also called his uncle who was tracking the fugitives on the ground.

The chase lasted only two miles before the deputies cornered the crooks. Joseph Peel and Roosevelt Smith were arrested and charged with theft. Nice court evidence with two eyewitnesses and a video to boot. The Craighead County Sheriff's Office said this was definitely a first for them since they didn't have an airborne unit. Doesn't get any better than this, air unit tracking, eye witnesses from the sky, and also caught on camera to add the frosting to the cake. And this whole deal took the cake. Peel and Smith pleaded not guilty, so it should be an interesting event when the video is played from B&E to capture. Congratulations, Mr. Lynn and we know you enjoyed your first plane ride.

RULE: If you're being Buzzed then Buzz off

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**64►Let me Help You in◄**

**RITCHIE COUNTY, West Virginia** \- Ritchie County was named for the Richmond, Virginia newspaper publisher Thomas Ritchie. Seems odd, but maybe he held a contest and won. The population density is just a little over 20 people per square mile so there's plenty of room around here. Well, there's not much to see in this county, but there is Berdine's Five and Dime, a 103-year-old store in Harrisville. There's also a county jail and that's where our story begins.

A man and a woman had just been released from jail in Greenwood, West Virginia. They needed a ride but apparently were in a hurry to get away from their _home away from home_. Walking sounded tedious and they weren't sure about a bus route. A taxi seemed like an extravagance even if they could find one. But there were plenty of cars in the parking lot. Hey, there's one with keys. _"If they leave the keys, it's our ride."_ So, they hopped into the car and off they went. No problems?

But the car owner had a problem. No sir, the owner wasn't too pleased as he watched his own car leave the parking lot on the security camera monitor. Yup, the owner worked in the jail, and you don't steal cars from the jail parking lot. A pursuit quickly began with the sheriff and his canine partner gaining on the pursued. _"Hey sheriff, get my car, but don't wreck it."_ The two crooks ran a red light, and that's bad enough. But, they also crashed the car. Even worse, they had T-boned a sheriff's car as they fled pursued by a string of state and county officers. Now, everyone is real mad. Cops brought this trip home to a quick termination. And K-9 Benji, in the car with Deputy Asbury, was not any too happy either. He got quite a jolt when the duo crashed into his car and wanted to put the bite on the crooks.

The driver, was charged with bad driving, OK, just reckless driving, failing to obey a traffic control device and fleeing with a vehicle, and offending everybody, including the dog. Let's add grand larceny to complete the list. The car crooks, Michael Lee Sharp and Amanda Clendenning, were checked out and released from hospitals and then driven right back to jail. Yup, finally a free ride, back to their home away from home. Is "Sharp" Michael's real name?

**RULE: If you served time for Wheeling and Dealing, Stay Away from** _Hot Wheels_ **.**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**65►Case of the Unlucky Opportunistic Crook◄**

**QUEENS, New York** – Queens is the easternmost of the five boroughs of New York City and has the largest area. Queens is also the most diverse urban area in the world. About half the population is foreign-born, representing over 100 different nations speaking over 138 different languages. And as might be suspected, there's a diversity of crime.

Victor Santos thought he was a smart crook, always looking over the situation and waiting for the right opportunity to present itself. Victor was no punk kid. No, the 42-year old Victor was street smart and savvy – a veteran of urban wars. But he had stumbled onto a robbery in progress in the Ridgewood area. Two dudes had grabbed a victim. Hey, here's an opportunity. Victor could take on all three and walk away with the prize because he had a gun and he was smart. Victor thought he was witnessing a drug robbery and so why not take the money and drugs, and run. Mr. Santos was known in the neighborhood for pulling heists and getting away with it. He was proud of being a crook.

Vicor Santos got out of his livery car, ran toward the trio and raised his gun at the backs of the two "robbers". He had pulled out his fancy black Glock automatic, a very intimidating gun. Well, it looked like a deadly Glock, but it was actually a pellet gun. The guy with the drugs, who was actually a drug dealer, didn't like the idea of getting shot by Santos. So when the dealer saw Santos' gun he told the robbers about this dude waving a gun.

These weren't your _run-of-the-mill_ Queens crooks, however. Turns out that the robbers were cops that had just cuffed a real drug dealer. It was a routine drug _buy-and-bust_ operation. The pair of undercover cops pulled out real Glocks with real bullets and killed Santos real dead. The drug dealer had tried to stop the deal by yelling, _"They're cops, you @x# & idiot!"_ Too late since NYC cops act on instinct and act fast. The cops squeezed off six shots in the brief encounter and the savvy shakedown artist went down and stayed down. He was later pronounced dead on arrival at a nearby hospital.

The undercover cops even had their badges displayed during the lethal exchange. But Santos should have known what he was doing with 39 prior raps against him for charges including assault, trespassing, and robbery. Maybe he forgot the routine while serving time since he had just been released from prison after a six-month stint, the last of 15 prison stays. The drug dealer, who recognized Santos, had tried to help, but to no avail. Just one dumb crook that needed to retire. Santos had failed to recognize several other cops who were stationed in a nearby building as back up for the buy-and-bust operation – and they knew him.

RULE: Don't bring a BB Pistol to Gun Fight.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**66►Cop Shop◄**

**BOYNTON BEACH, Florida** – Boynton Beach is a city in Florida with no beach, so we have to expect problems. The place was named for Nathan Boynton who hailed from Port Huron, Michigan. He was so impressed by the natural beauty of the year-round sunshine that he built the famous Boynton Hotel. So how come the "beach" name. The place was originally incorporated as the Town of Boynton. But "Boynton Beach" was a community that broke off from the Town of Boynton. Well, the two Boyntons caused confusion, so the "beach" town changed its name to Ocean Ridge. Then, the original Boynton decided to grab the "Boynton Beach" name, but they didn't get the beach. Oh well, this is Florida, the land of loony land deals.

Many law enforcement agencies help out poor kids around Christmas time. Florida has all kinds of programs where kids can go shopping with real cops and deputies. Boynton Beach Police Department was doing their 7th annual _Shop-with-a-Cop_ children's event. These programs have many objectives including getting these less fortunate youths to respect the law and to stay out of trouble. It really is a big thrill to hang out with cops when you're not in trouble. And the officers play on the hero theme, just a little. _"We catch bad guys so they won't hurt you and your family."_ The officers are in full uniform and ready for action, but the planned action is inside a big store having fun and buying presents. Although the kids would love to see a chase and take-down, the cops keep things safe and keep a low profile on crime fighting while surrounded by kids.

Here we are in the Wal-Mart parking lot with a bunch of kids and cops – cops in full uniform, mind you. _"Hey, maybe we'll see a shoplifter..."_ , shouts one of the exuberant kids.  
Now enter Tesia Cain who was driving slowly along in a bright red car in the Wal-Mart parking lot. " _Hmm, no parking there – them cops is hogging up the spaces."_ Right, over two-dozen cops, helpers, and a bunch of kids were getting out of vehicles. _"Nice car, lady"_. But the car is on the "hot list." A K-9 officer, with a good memory, had received a stolen car alert during his patrol. The car had recently been stolen from West Palm Beach. With everybody watching, the officer casually pulled the car over. _"Nice car, miss, I just need to check something – oh, oh, not wearing seat belts."_

Inside the car, police found Tesia Cain, her boyfriend and her three young children. None of the children – ages 4, 5, and 4-months – were wearing safety belts. No, the kids weren't attending the Shop-with-a-Cop deal and that's too bad. Officers found a loaded .45-caliber handgun in the waist band of the boyfriend and charged him with armed trespassing. Police booked Cain in the Palm Beach County Jail on charges of grand theft auto and child neglect. Authorities turned the children over to their father. We hope he'll want to befriend the police and the kids will attend Shop-with-a-Cop children's event since momma will not be doing any shopping.

**RULE: Car Thief? Avoid Cops, but Especially Avoid Lots of Cops**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**67►We Got the Drop on You◄**

**DAYTONA BEACH, Florida** –This beach city with a real beach. Daytona Beach has hard packed sand that allows motorized vehicles to drive directly over the sand, even at high speed. Daytona Beach has been a Mecca for motorsports including both car racing and speed record setting – right on the beach. And, of course, the city is the home of the Daytona International Speedway and the great Daytona 500 NASCAR race. A lot of things happen at Daytona, the World's Most Famous Beach, and while most are a good, a few events are not so good.

Terry Smith's unlucky day started at 4 am on a Sunday when he got into a taxi at a convenience store on South Ridgewood Avenue in Daytona Beach. Terry asked to be taken to an address near Pioneer Trail. During the trip, Smith complained that he was feeling carsick in the back seat and he asked if he could sit in the front instead. Hold on – hold up scam alert! Now this is a red flag as any veteran driver will tell you and the 49-year old taxi driver was on the alert. But he finally did stop to let Smith make the switch. Alert #2 was when Smith asked the driver if he has been busy and making a lot of money. This is like _"casing the joint"_. Now they were at the destination and Smith opened the door and paused. He then reached over and tried to grab the driver's wallet and cell phone from his front pockets, but the wary driver was ready and managed to hold on to his possessions. Smith slugged the driver twice, now bringing the crime up to the assault and battery level. Smith finally fled, empty handed, and without paying his $40 fare.

The driver was shaken, but relieved that there was no weapon. Several taxi drivers have been shot in this area. The driver was also pleased that Smith would be easy to catch. _How's that you say?_ Did the driver recognize him? No! Did he know where Smith lived? Yes! He thought that he knew exactly where Smith lived. In the aborted attack, Smith had dropped his own wallet in the cab, so _"Praise the Lord!"_ Volusia County Sheriff's deputies headed straight to Smith's home in Port Orange since that was the correct address in the wallet. Smith wasn't home, but just as deputies were leaving, they spotted Smith driving past the house. Add this drive by as one more mistake. And to make it more interesting, Smith was driving with a suspended driver license.

He was charged with attempted robbery, battery, petty theft and driving with a suspended license. He was booked into the County Branch Jail in Daytona Beach. We hope he enjoys his stay near the World's Most Famous Beach.

RULE: Evidence is Always Left at the Crime Scene, so Make Sure it's not your ID.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**68►CraigsBust◄**

**OVILLA, Texas** – Ovilla is a city located in two counties, Dallas and Ellis, but the population is only about 4,000. For a small Texas town, the place has a little notoriety. Country singer Boxcar Willie was born in the area. Several episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger with Chuck Norris were shot in part here. So with a guy like Chuck Norris hanging around town, you'd think crooks would be careful.

Selling on-line is a challenge because of so many scams and outright crooks who attempt to use the Internet exchange media. The "invisible" scam artists rarely get caught, but the odds are better in direct confrontations. And the sites have warnings that we should heed. Most are scams asking you to wire money after you have received a great looking cashier's check that is bogus, but doesn't trip the "tilt" light until it arrives at a final bank. But a more dangerous scam, or outright crook's scheme is to lure a victim to an isolated place and then commit robbery. And here's what can happen.

A Craigslist sale was in the making. The victim was selling a really nice iMac computer. The interested buyer showed up at his house in Ovilla. So far, so good. But he was with four other people. Yup, that's a red flag. Five against one is bad odds. You don't need four helpers to carry a Mac. But things seemed to be preceding OK. The buyer opened the trunk of his car and loaded in the iMac. _"Well, who has the money for the iMac?_ One of the men then pulled a gun. Well, this dude doesn't look like the cashier. They ordered the Mac seller back inside his house. _"Oh oh, am I going to die for a Mac?"_ No, they wanted to get his iPad that was also for sale. They got the iPad and jumped into the car as the seller stayed put. Then, the robbers drove off. The seller was on the phone to the police and hoped they would get the greedy bastards. And the extra greed would be the crooks' downfall. Now, even the dumbest crooks now know that a smart phone can get them, but _"this here's a tablet, so should be OK, dude."_ Of course, the iPad also comes with a "Find My iPhone" program and just about all owners activate the free app. You can even let your iPhone track your iPad. The iPad "finder" app needs an Internet connection and that's just the nearest open Wi-Fi hot spot. But some iPads have a cellular account, just like a phone. This iPad used a cell phone service and so it was in constant contact with the Internet. In no time at all, the iPad received the message and was busy calling home, just like ET – home being an Apple server. Its progress was seen as a radiating dot moving down the road.

Ovilla police arrived and followed the crooks' route. The officers called Dallas police, who found the robbers driving on the Dallas North Tollway. Surprise – we're doing a CraigsCrooks bust - and they arrested the greedy but hapless quintet. But the iMac can also have tracking software. In fact, one program can even be used to activate the camera and take photos of the crooks. While technology can be used by bad guys, it's more effective for catching crooks.

RULE: Watch your Back when Stealing a Mac & Pad

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**69►Carjacker Special Delivery◄**

**KANSAS CITY, Kansas** – The place is referred to as "KCK" in order to differentiate from the other state, Missouri that stole the city name. Seems like there's a plague of carjackers lately. Lock your doors, don't walk to the empty section of the parking lot alone, and so on, is the advice all around. Yes, all kinds of advice. Decades ago, automotive manufacturers added automatic door locking and panic alarms. But a bold and innovative woman in Kansas City came up with an effective way of handling a carjacker.

A woman told police that a man armed with a gun stopped her as she was driving on U.S. 71. The robber jumped on top of the car, but the senior citizen hit the gas _– pedal to the metal_ for this dude. The crook hung on to the hood for dear life and was not about to shoot the driver. OK, what do you do with a gun-toting crook as a hood ornament? Take him into custody, right?

Well, our golden-ager woman driver headed right to Kansas City Police Headquarters. No, drive up window. Now what? She crashed into the police garage. She couldn't just let the guy off the hood easy like, as that gun might be real and loaded. But it was a really strong door, so she hit it three times before getting through while the carjacker hung on – well, sort of. A worker in the garage radioed to HQ that he was under siege and cops converged. But once the car was inside, the carjacker took off without his gun. Apparently, having had enough of carjacking for the day, he was waiting at a nearby bus stop. He tried to force his way onto the bus instead of just acting like a regular customer – bad idea, with so many cell phones around. Sure enough, cops arrived quickly and grabbed the dude. He got a ride in a police car instead of a bus trip. Not a good haul for our crook – no car, lost gun and a trip to jail.

The woman was not hurt in the crash and her car only had minor scratches. It probably was an old grey Buick made decades ago out of real Detroit iron. This was the first time police could remember a crime victim smashing through the garage to turn in a crook. The woman had an effective strategy but police ask that it not be adopted. Why not? We'll just open the door next time.

RULE: Never Underestimate the Determination and Skill of an Old Woman Driver.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**70►Getting a Little Smarter can be a Lot Dumber◄**

**HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY, Florida** – Hillsborough County is located in western Florida and has a population of about one and a quarter million. The largest city is Tampa on beautiful Tampa Bay. Most think of Florida as having mostly Spanish heritage, but Hillsborough was named for a guy with the unusual name, Wills Hill, the Earl of Hillsborough and British Secretary of State for the Colonies. But this area is no backwater colony when it comes to crime fighting as we'll see.

To mask or not to mask, that is the question. Should a crook wear a mask in a heist? A mask alerts everyone that you're probably a crook. It might work on Halloween, but one crime a year can leave the pantry bare. Today, there are cameras everywhere, so chances are one will capture your mug. It's about 50-50 with some opting for the classic hoodie that requires looking sideways at the camera. If the cops know your mug, better go for a mask, at least that was the thinking of Taurian Jarell Crosby, 21, of Tampa, Florida.

Taurian entered the Sweetbay on Ehrlich Road shortly before midnight and pointed a gun at a clerk. Florida has a lot of guns and a lot of crooks with guns. Sweetbay Supermarket is a chain of American supermarkets located entirely in Florida with headquarters near Tampa. Our crook started right off by making a bunch of mistakes. Don't strong arm anyone since it elevates the crime and more things can go wrong. But our guy grabbed the clerk's shirt and pulled her to the ground. He then dragged her into the store's office. This caveman stuff is definitely outdated. Oops! He encountered the manager in the office. But he took some cash from the safe and fled on foot. Deputies wanted to know what this crook looked like. He was wearing a mask and that made it harder to match him up to a mug shot, but not impossible. This was going to be a tough one to solve – maybe!

A witness saw the crook run out and drop his mask on the sidewalk as he ran away. Partial description, but not an ID. Detectives turned the mask over to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. While many states have a backlog of samples for testing, Florida understands the value of the ability to test DNA quickly. A technician matched DNA on the mask. BINGO. Our crook, Mr. Crosby, popped up in the computer. The DNA "fingerprint" was on file from a previous encounter. The match was obtained electronically using CODIS (Combined DNA Index System). CODIS is the generic term used to describe the FBI's program for the criminal justice DNA databases and the software used to run these databases. Now, armed with the name and photo of the masked bandit, success was assured. Taurian was captured and held without bond at the Hillsborough County Jail. He might have gotten away without a mask, but that is debatable.

**RULE: Don't use a mask to unmask your DNA.**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**71►Gumshoes Get Gumby◄**

**SAN DIEGO, California** – We've already been to San Diego in an early case (#8) so let's get right to the story. We've also covered strategies on using masks, but how about a full-body costume? We have seen a few costumed crooks although some were really mischief-makers. But the next case is about a crook, although not a very accomplished crook. Shortly after midnight, a bright green Gumby entered the 7-Eleven on Carmel Mountain Road. He was highly animated and was waving his arms in the air. Our Gumby even had an accomplice who confronted the clerk and announced, _"This is a robbery"_. But the clerk laughed and decided the occupant in the jolly-looking costume was joking. Maybe he should have picked a superhero or at least something scary. The employee replied, _"I have cleaning to do, and I don't have time for this"_. But Gumby then claimed to have a gun and began struggling with the unwieldy suit, as if trying to retrieve a concealed weapon. Fumbling around for several moments, he only managed to drop some change on the floor which he was unable to pick up with his awkward costume.

Meanwhile, his companion, had wandered out of the store and gotten into a minivan, which he pulled in front of the business probably to make sure the surveillance cameras got a shot. After the driver honked his horn a few times, the would-be Gumby robber walked out and got into the vehicle and the pair drove off. The clerk, still thinking the holdup attempt was a joke, never reported it. A manager arrived for his work shift about 6 a.m. and decided to call the police just in case. A mad mumbling Gumby could be a problem.

But the cops couldn't get a grip on Gumby. Finally, a break in the bizarre case. The Gumby bandit decided to come clean. A young fellow dressed as the green animated character when he allegedly tried to rob a Rancho Penasquitos store turned himself in to San Diego police. Jacob Kiss, 19, brought the full-body, wedge-headed costume with him when he arrived at downtown police headquarters. His partner, Jason Giramma, the getaway driver, also came along. The cops are not sure the case will go forward. They confiscated the Gumby outfit before releasing the pair, however. Maybe to put it in evidence next to the Kermit costume. Could be just a stunt or might be a crime. But it made the weird news rounds and even the CNN, "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart. The Gumby Guy should have teamed up with the Banana Bandit. Explanation? Sure, we're in California with all the fruits, flakes, nuts and Gumbies.

Rule: Don't try a Stick-up in a Sticky Outfit.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**72► It's Another Bird, it's Another Superman, no, it's◄**

**LABELLE, Florida** – LaBelle began as a settlement on the Caloosahatchee River around the time there was a plan to drain the Everglades and promote land growth. LaBelle hosts the annual Swamp Cabbage Festival. So with that kind of history, anything can happen and residents hope that it will.

Homeowners are getting better at catching crooks by any means possible. But in Florida, it's usually with a gun, the capital of "carry" permits. You may have thought that the previous story using an airplane, was an oddity, but it's more common than you might think. A Florida man was flying home from a North Carolina visit when he decided to fly over his home. David Zehntner flew over his house in LaBelle on a pleasant Sunday but things didn't look right. Actually, his house is near the airport and comes into view every time Dave lands. _"Hey, whose truck is in our driveway"_ , he wanted to know. So, he dropped even lower from his 800-ft glide path to take a look. Some dude was looking in the house windows – not a good sign. The guy was hooking up a trailer to the truck, but it was Dave's trailer. The bastard was going to rob the house and use Dave's trailer to haul the stuff.

" _Hello Sheriff – I'm tailing a crook who's got my trailer – oh, ya, I'm at 300 feet"_. Not your typical 911 call, but nothing is routine in law enforcement. Just a few hundred feet off the ground, is pretty darned low, but Dave was hot on the trail. Zehntner followed the truck and gave directions to the Glades County Sheriff's Office from the air. Glades deputies contacted the Lee County Sheriff's Office since that was the direction of travel.

Now there was no escaping Captain Dave and several counties worth of sheriffs, mostly in big V8 SUVs. Dave followed him for seven miles circling the vehicle the whole time. The guy kept driving right in the middle of LaBelle and at one point, he was sitting stopped at a red light right in front of the police station. Dave was in the air circling wishing he could tell them to run outside. Dave was low enough so that he could have given the guy a close shave and Dave's wife wanted him to land on the road before he tried some Sky King tricks.

Gary Robert Haines, 59, of Stafford, Va., was arrested and charged with grand theft. By then, Zehntner had come to the scene to get his trailer back. There were loaded guns in the front, several loaded rifles and a handgun, but they didn't belong to the pilot who was glad he kept his altitude when the crook might have had an attitude.

RULE: Use Plane Sense if you Burgle Near an Airport

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**73►A Goldilocks Story?◄**

**BARDSTOWN, Kentucky** – Bardstown has a population of just over 10,000. The town either had an identity issue or one with spelling. The place was originally chartered as Baird's Town but presumably named for the pioneering Bard brothers.

Just about everyone knows the story of Goldilocks, a cute little blond-haired girl, and the Three Bears. The genuine, but fictional Goldilocks, entered the fairytale house when nobody was home. The young lady tried everything out for size, including the beds, and not surprisingly, discovered that Baby Bear's bed was just right. Although she was discovered by the homeowners, the famous Three Bears, the fugitive fled without capture.

Our modern-day "Goldilocks" entered a home and found just the right bed on the first try, not three, like the fairytale Goldilocks. Now you may be thinking that our Goldilocks is either smart or not so fussy. But there was a problem. The home owner was already in bed. In fact, she was in the same bed. The waking woman reached over and touched a bald head. _"Wait a minute, you're not Goldilocks"_ , we might presume the thought transpired. Our lady victim and we don't know if she was _bare_ , jumped up, ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. Just like in the fairytale, our baldheaded Goldilocks took off, never to return to the house again; we can hope.

But in a weird twist of fate, our Goldilocks, was eventually caught. The suspect, 33-year-old Owen Lee Maddox, was arrested and booked into the Nelson County Jail. So how did he get caught? Turns out that he left his wallet in bed. Maybe he was going to leave a little appreciation for room and board.

RULE: If you are in a Fairytale, Stay on Script.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**74►Check Out Your CrookBook (Facebook) Pictures◄**

**ORLANDO, Florida** \- Orlando is the _"The Theme Park Capital of the World"_ , with Disney World, Universal Orlando as the two big parks. The area hosts Universal Studios Florida, Islands of Adventure, SeaWorld, Gatorland, and Wet 'n Wild Water Park, to mention popular ones located within a reasonable travel distance. And of course, there are plenty of cruise ships not too far away, including Disney Lines.

Katy McCaffrey took a cruise on the Disney Wonder in the spring. It was a wonderful trip - well, almost. Katy couldn't find her new iPhone. But she was suspicious and concluded that the phone must be on the ship - _someone had it!_ After the iPhone went missing, Katy started noticing new photos being automatically uploaded to her iCloud account that could be viewed with smart phones, iPads and laptops. Photostream syncs all images to your Apple account and your other devices once it's set up. So, your iPhone, iPad and iMac, if properly set up, will always have the same images, no matter which device was used to make the post. So where were the new photos being posted?

Katy reasoned that the images came from a phone crook, her phone crook. _"What if they included the crook?"_ So, maybe a little detective work might break the case. Hot on the case, Katy started examining the photos and watching for new ones on her laptop. Here was this young dude who appeared to be in possession of the phone. _"So, this is the crook"_. There was also a woman who might be the girlfriend and a large number of their friends. Wait a minute, these characters have Disney uniforms – and so -- they must be co-workers. Bingo! Inside job by a crew member; no mouse, but surely a rat. So Katy did what any clever but angry person would do. She put them on Facebook and added hilarious captions.

" _Here's Nelson and he stole my phone"._ Well, hapless Nelson was appearing in many of the photos and his cute little badge also was plain as day - an attractive Disney Cruise employee badge. Now, Ms. McCaffrey wasn't just a smart lady, she was a Los Angeles-based _"creative consultant in the entertainment industry"_ – and creative she was. Her _"Stolen iPhone Adventures"_ album was private on FB, but her friends convinced her to switch it to "public" so that zillions of Facebook fans could have a laugh. Her FB page and photo albums quickly became popular with thousands of viewers.

Now, this is not the kind of publicity that Disney wants, of course, and Katy expected that the company would _befriend_ her. By now, the incident, and photos, had made the TV circuit. A public affairs person at Disney Cruise confirmed that they had been in touch with creative Katy and would make things right.

Ms. McCaffrey's iPhone has been recovered and an unnamed employee is on administrative leave while Disney Cruise investigates the situation. Administrative leave? Throw him overboard! _"Hey, Nelson, how ya doing"?_ Since Ms. McCaffrey has suddenly gone "dark" and refuses interviews, we might speculate that she has been offered a creative solution by Disney. Probably, her lawyer has been "befriended" and "liked", but not by Mickey Mouse.

RULE: Just because you work for a Mickey Mouse Outfit, Don't be a rat.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**75►Bowling for Quarters◄**

**MIDDLEBURG, Pennsylvania** \- Middleburg was originally named Swinefordstown, or Swinefordstettle in the Pennsylvania Dutch dialect after John Albright Swineford who ran a tavern there. Perhaps, with an ear for good sounds, the place was renamed Middleburgh in the early 1800's; and like most _burgs_ , they dropped the "h". So, what happens in a small burg in PA and what kind of crooks frequent the vicinity?

Well, it wasn't a big heist, but crooks were still afoot. Money was taken from a truck by unknown crooks, but there was a chance the crime would be solved. The stolen property was coinage, mostly quarters, but a big pile of them. While not a crime spree, police suspected a coin gang and they were right.

The mastermind of this _gang of four_ was nabbed by police after putting a few pieces of the puzzle together. Seems that the gang stole $75 in coins from a pickup truck parked outside a bar. So what do you do with all that change? Cops reasoned that the crooks would try to cash it in for paper money. Cops checked around to see if anyone had turned in a large amount of change. And they hit "tilt" at a store near the tavern. A clerk said four young guys had just been to his store with lots of change. How about a description? Even better, the clerk had a phone number. One of the gang left his number because he wanted to join the store bowling team. _"Hello Josh, want to join a bowling team – in the county jail?"_ Middleburg police were able to quickly arrest the would-be coin collector and potential bowler, Josh Snyder, age 19.

Police said the episode began when a patron left the Towne Tavern and noticed that the dome light of his pickup truck was on. He told police that he noticed a car parked close to his truck, and that as he approached, the occupants of the second vehicle sped away down Stump Run Alley. The owner looked in his truck and saw that three vials of quarters were gone, or about $75. Armed with a description that really only amounted to a gang of dudes with quarters, cops went to local stores. All they did was check the area to seek out anyone who had brought in a large amount of change. The quick-change bandits are awaiting trial on theft charges.

RULE: Don't Launder the Money next to the Crime Scene.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**76►Add Littering to that Charge ◄**

**KINGSTREE, South Carolina** \- This small town of only 3,000, was named for a very large white pine along the Black River. Since tall white pines were ideal for use as ship masts, none other than King George claimed the big tree. A broad arrow mark was put upon this tree to prevent anyone else from cutting it and sure enough, it was never cut down. So what are you going to name a little town with a great big tree that was the only one claimed by King George's – at least in the south? Right! Kingstree. Well, not much happens in this quiet southern town, but things were about to change after a one-man invasion from the north. Twenty-four year old Robert Lee Jones III of Fayetteville, North Carolina was heading to Charleston on what should have been a nice simple AMTRAK trip. But he somehow ended up in Kingstree. Even stranger, he ended up in Kingstree local jail.

Kingstree Police were dispatched to the IGA grocery store at 1:30 am. The store was in shambles. The front entrance plate glass window and a door were shattered so there was glass all over the place. The alarm was blaring and lights were flashing. _"Come out with your hands up"_ , but the store was empty. The manager arrived and everyone watched the video. Cameras had captured the crook breaking the window and entering the building. The state of the art system showed the bold crook scanning the aisle for his favorite brand of beer and a carton of cigarettes. Our crook, maybe tired of hearing the loud alarm, then made his exit through the jagged glass window and managed to cut himself in several places. But he held on tight to the 24 pack of Bush Beer. Unfortunately, the carton had a hole in it which was no surprise seeing that we had a real clumsy crook. As he fled down the road, he left a trail of beer cans behind for officers to track. They didn't even need to look for the blood trail.

Within minutes a bloody, barefoot and shirtless Jones was captured in a wooded area adjacent to the IGA. A carton of Marlboros and a lighter were also confiscated at the scene. A green shirt was found on a metal container located outside the broken window. Talk about leaving evidence. Jones first claimed that a white male accompanied him during the robbery and that he (Jones) didn't want to _"catch a charge on something he didn't do"_ but video did not capture anyone else in the building.

But Jones' bad day wasn't over just yet. When police returned to the train station to retrieve a brief case, computer and green bag of clothing Jones claimed he had left, none of the items were found. Police did find his shoes, shirt and a sweater that were left on a bench. The items were promptly returned to the suspect. Jones was charged with resisting arrest and burglary. The following day his bond was set at $5,000 and $20,000 respectively. Last we checked, Jones was being held at Williamsburg County Detention Center. But this isn't the end of our story.

What was Mr. Jones doing in this little town when he was supposed to be on a train? Well, he had been abruptly kicked off the train in Kingstree for disorderly conduct. Cops arrived at the station and Jones was briefly detained. But he was released since he hadn't quite broken the law and appeared to pose no threat. He needed to have money wired to him in order to continue his trip later that evening. Well, maybe he couldn't get the money, or maybe he had a little too much time on his hands, but he missed the last train. Now you may think it's pretty dumb to leave a trail of beer cans, but let's just assume that he didn't know he had a leaking carton. Right, he left a lot of cloths behind. Hmm!

RULE: Can Trail can Land you in the Can

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**77► Stuck Stick Shift Stickup Sucks◄**

**ORLANDO, Florida** – We're back to Orlando, the tourist capital of the USA and home to all kinds of fantasies. Have you had any car fantasies lately? Ever want to own a really nice Corvette? Sure, but they're a little expensive. How about just driving one? That's what these two dudes in Orlando were thinking – maybe just borrow one and go see Mickey Mouse. At around 11 o'clock in the evening, Randy Bean was waiting in his prize bright yellow Corvette for his wife to get out of work. Our two wannabe Corvette enthusiasts took Randy by surprise while he was parked outside Orlando Regional Medical Center in Downtown Orlando. Randy had spotted them in the mirror a few seconds earlier, but they moved fast and were upon him. The would-be thieves held him at gunpoint and demanded the car. Well, the Vette was insured but Randy's hide was not.

One had a gun and started yanking on the door so Randy opened it. He kind of flung it open. Just as soon as the door was opened, they dragged Randy out and told him to get on the ground, face down. One of the thieves pointed a gun at the prone driver while asking how to use the car. _"Use the car?"_ Well, don't you turn the key and drive away? Randy was helpful, _"Hey, the keys are in the ignition, just drive it."_ Drive it, ya drive it dummy. _"Well, how do I put it in drive?"_ asks idiot #1. They couldn't even start it. _"Push in the clutch"_ , said the bewildered Randy. _"What's a clutch?"_ So, how do you teach someone to drive stick shift while lying on the ground with a gun at your head?

The suspects finally gave up and ran away leaving the driver on the ground – who tried not to laugh. Guess they never took driver's ed, or maybe schools don't want to deal with a stick. Fortunately, the jerks didn't shoot Randy, who was ready to give driving lessons if need be. Randy considered what would have happened if they got the Vette and started it in gear with 5-times more horse power than a typical street car. That's why it won't start in gear without depressing the clutch. This was a very high performance car that takes some skill to drive.

Rule: If you can't Shift for yourself, Keep Walking.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**78►Gas and Go to Jail◄**

**LETCHER COUNTY, Kentucky** \- Letcher County has a population of about 25,000, but it's on the downward trend. It is a dry county, the only exceptions being a winery and maybe that's why people are leaving. The area is mostly about coal mining and has an infamous history. Back in 1967, a local, shot and killed Canadian filmmaker Hugh O'Connor who was doing a film on the poverty of Appalachia and locals didn't like it or foreigners.

When a Jenkins police officer got into his cruiser, he noticed that the gas tank was almost empty. Just like with airplanes, the cops check out everything before starting on patrol. Something's wrong here for sure. The hard and fast rule is to fill up at end of shift just in case there's an emergency. In fact, most law enforcement keeps the tank pretty darn full in case there's a long pursuit. You want the bad guy to run out of gas, not the pursuit car.

Well, the tank had been topped off on the last shift and this was clear from the gas-up log. Nothing leaking, so what's the conclusion? Would someone actually steal gas from the cops? Only a real lowdown crook would even think of such a thing, but what else would account for an empty tank? Nope, the mileage is right, no one has been cruising. Everyone was notified and the best theory was that a gas crook was afoot, as wild as that sounded.

Then came a call – " _Hey Sarge, check out this Facebook address since your cruiser is featured"_. The FB page of a 20-year-old Kentuckian showed him siphoning gas from the Jenkins cruiser. So..., the first theory was right – Gas Crook. The picture was taken by Michael Baker's girlfriend. Mike is not only seen stealing gas from the cops, he is making an obscene gesture. Not quite a _"Catch me if you can"_ stunt, but strong motivation to catch the guy. Confronted with hard cyber evidence, Mike admitted he stole gas from a police cruiser. So, Baker was taken into custody, spent the night in jail and was charged with theft. Baker and his girlfriend tried to pass the photo off as a joke, _"...but us cops ain't laughing"._ The Chief says that if someone would do that to a police car, they would do that to just about anyone. Jenkins police say they plan to get lockable gas caps in the near future. _"Can't trust nobody, nohow, nomore."_

**Rule: Play Gas and Go** **on** **Facebook for a Free** _Get Into Jail_ **Card.**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**79►Dialing for Dollars or Doughnuts◄**

**RENTON, Washington** – Renton is only 11 miles from downtown Seattle. The city was originally an early coal mining town, yes coal mining, but also a timber exporter. Today, it's best known as the final assembly point for the Boeing 737 family of passenger jets.

Crooks were plotting crimes, but cops were quietly listening in. Several crimes were being voice recorded as the two crooks laid out plans and then put them into action. The recordings covered many details, even locations. Was it a _"wire"_ plant? Maybe a telephone tap? No! The crooks called the police and provided information as they carried out their crimes. You guessed it. _"Butt dialing"_ , more politely called, _"Pocket Dialing"_.

Renton police wanted to solve a rash of vehicle thefts, but just couldn't catch a break let alone the crooks. But then, the 911 operator answered a call from a cell phone showing up as "Renton". The operator wanted to know what the problem was, but there was no response from the caller. It became clear that the caller had accidentally dialed 911. It also seemed obvious that the caller was in the act of stealing a vehicle. Two men were talking to one another and detailing what seemed to be their game plan. _"You pull up, I jump out - I'll go jiggle a key, I'll be done in...37 seconds."_ The dispatcher alerted police in the area where the callers were located. Note that 911 calls have location tracking as now required by Federal law. Although the phone number showed up, it couldn't be traced to the crooks who apparently robbed the phone. Although a separate phone call came in about a stolen Toyota 4Runner in the same location, cops were unable to locate the car. So close, but no prize!

Four days later, the 911 dispatcher received a call from the same untraceable phone number in another pocket-dialing episode and it was even more interesting. _"You're freaking out for nothing. They're not even looking for us. We haven't done anything yet"_ , one of the crooks yelled. Police still were unable to locate the suspects, but time was running out on the pocket dialing bandit. Dispatchers received yet another 911 call from the same phone number and could hear men chatting about stealing the rims off a woman's car. Wow, police missed the suspects again, but found a stolen car in the area. Close, but a miss is as good as a mile. The E911 tracking is not nearly as accurate as a GPS, only an approximate location is achieved by locating the cellular towers; it may only give a 1-mile radius and that's not much use in a city.

Dispatchers were now hoping for just one more call – and sure enough, a 4th call came in two nights later from the Mystery Phone. But this time, the location was stationary and there would be no getaway. Bingo, the E911 location software pinpointed a building. A dispatcher immediately sent police to an apartment complex, a lot of cars. A car was idling in the parking lot and a police officer approached saying that he was responding to a 911 call. A man in the car told the officer that the call was a mistake. The driver said his phone had accidentally called 911. And he was driving his own car, so now what? _"Let me see that phone for a second"_ , and sure enough, it had the mystery phone number. Probable cause issue? As luck would have it, there was a warrant for this guy on a misdemeanor charge. With the Butt Dialing suspect in jail, cops had to work fast to get evidence. The suspect denied anything to do with stolen cars. The detectives played the 911 calls to the suspect. _"We can do a voice track analysis (whatever that is), said the detective and it's as good as a fingerprint?"_ That was enough and a confession was provided. It is legal for cops to lie. The _dimwit dialing dude_ was charged with two counts of possession of a stolen vehicle and was held on $70,000 bail. That was some expensive phone calling.

Rule: Don't Steal a Cheap Phone for your Crook Capers.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**80►Taking the Bite Out of Crime in Florida◄**

**CLEARWATER, Florida** \- Clearwater is located west of Tampa and northwest of St. Petersburg with the Gulf of Mexico on one side and Tampa Bay on the other. While Clearwater may seem like a slow and easy place to relax and enjoy sun and sea, it's been the home of some less than carefree characters. Ricky Carmichael was born in Clearwater and he's well known for his success in Motocross racing and that got him the nickname "The GOAT"; Greatest of All Time. But another famous cycle guy lived there too, none other than bike stuntman and daredevil, Evel Knievel; real name was Robert Craig. While Robert was doing a stint in a local jail, his keeper began calling him Evil Knievel, and with perhaps a sense of symmetry, he changed it to Evel, same as the end of his last name. Our next case involves a different stuntman, of sorts, but this guy took to the water instead of the track.

It all started when deputies tried to pull over a vehicle on 78th Avenue in the Tampa area that was seen weaving back and forth. It was around 3 am, the time when drunks and crooks are still out or maybe just getting up. When the deputies had him boxed in, the 20-year-old driver, Bryan Zuniga, jumped out of the vehicle and ran. He smashed through a fence and disappeared into the darkness. _"Not worth a chase in the dark"_ , thought the deputies, and that was that. They had the car so the perp should have a long walk home. _"We'll probably meet him again and nail him"_. The trouble makers have a habit of showing up, like a bad penny.

The next time deputies saw Zuniga was a few days later and it was daytime. Only, Bryan wasn't on the street. In fact, he was still in bed – in a hospital bed. He had multiple puncture wounds to his face, arm, and armpit area. No, he hadn't been in a fight – at least not with another two-legged creature. Brian told deputies that he was viciously attacked by an alligator near a water treatment plant in St. Pete. He had outrun the cops, and went right into the near-by water, figuring that it was a hot pursuit, just like on TV. He didn't realize that he wasn't worth a chase in the dark. Deputies aren't lazy, there just very savvy.

He nearly became a very late-night snack, or maybe a very early breakfast for a lurking gator. He had ignored the Florida axiom, _"If there's water, there's a gator."_ Despite the pain and suffering Zuniga is enduring from the alligator attack, he faces a load of charges including fleeing and eluding a police officer, driving with a suspended license and resisting an officer without violence. Zuniga was jailed shortly after being released from the hospital. Florida leads the nation in alligators with about 10-million in wetlands, marshes, rivers, lakes and swamps. Florida is the only place in the world where both alligators and crocodiles are known to live in the same place. And if the gators and deputies don't get you, there's plenty of big snakes including pythons. But, after his near-death, life-changing experience, Brian says he's going to focus on turning things around. Maybe the gator did take the bite out of crime.

Rule: When Leaping from the Jaw of Law – don't Jump into Bigger Ones.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**81►Guns, Bat and a Knife◄**

**PORTLAND, Oregon** – We've been to The City of Roses before and as the early case revealed, there's more to Portland than rose gardens. Maybe it's more like guns and roses as we'll soon see.

As the saying goes, don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Or, in this case, don't try to hold up a gun store with a baseball bat and a knife. But we've seen crooks get themselves into corners by selecting the wrong weapons, but we prefer it that way.

Authorities in Oregon say a man tried to rob a gun store in the Portland area but failed to size up the obvious. He got a lesson in armament and self-defense instead. The would-be robber apparently was looking to step up his weaponry -- he smashed a glass display case at Discount Gun Sales and pulled a handgun from the display. The gun was not loaded, of course, so it wasn't much use against a loaded gun. The store manager then drew his own handgun and ordered the suspect to drop his bat, his 9-inch knife and the empty purloined handgun. The instructor made it clear that the would-be crook was just too under-armed to pull off a heist. The suspect ended up on the ground, taking orders from the store manager who held the crook at gunpoint until police arrived. Washington County Sheriff's Department deputies responded to the call and found the suspect on the floor when they arrived. Derrick Mosley, 22, was being held at the Washington County, Oregon, jail, with bond set at $250,000; wow! He was charged with first degree robbery and unlawful possession of a firearm. Right, his 5-seconds of holding a gun brought out a charge that was worth 5-years.

RULE: Knife to Gunfight is Bad Enough, but Challenging a Pro is Pure Dumb.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**82► Me Wanted by the Sheriff ◄**

**PASCO COUNTY, Florida** – Pasco County is part of the Tampa-St. Petersburg-Clearwater Metropolitan region that is just referred to as the Tampa Bay Area. It has numerous parks and trails along highways, rivers, lakes and the Gulf of Mexico. Several nudist resorts, including 8 parks, are located in Pasco, so maybe lack of clothing cuts down on crime, at least pick pocketing. But crooks are often uncovered in unusual ways here.

Most County Sheriff's Offices in Florida use Facebook to alert the public to problems and to help catch crooks and other bad guys. Pasco County Sheriff's Office (PCSO) even posts the _Fugitive of the Day_ and asks for comments – like _"Where is this guy?"_ Matthew Oliver, 23, was the sheriff's office Facebook page's _"Fugitive of the Day"_ recently for his connection with a robbery. Deputies said Oliver became a fugitive in December when he and a friend punched a man in the face and stole a wallet containing $260.

Well, Matthew didn't like the whole idea and made a bad decision to argue with the Sheriff on-line. He commented on the PCSO post, _"You guys are going to pay..."._ He didn't like the idea of the sheriff _"Slandering my name,.."_ Oliver then wrote, _"I already heard about this whole thing and I was in the hospital the day of."_ Matthew, save the arguments for the judge, not FB! Minutes later, the guy was at it again, _"I own Pasco County – you WILL be held responsible for this."_ In no time, there were 400 comments, like, _"Really!?!? You're not doing a good job hiding."_ And, _"He'll be on World's Dumbest Criminals" in no time..."_ Even the sheriff commented, _"Matthew Oliver if you would like to discuss your active warrant, please call the Fugitive Warrants Unit."_ But Mr. Oliver insisted that his warrant was inactive, and he was in the hospital at the time in question. Again, the sheriff wanted to talk, _"if he feels he does not fit the definition of the word fugitive."_

Now, everyone was looking for Oliver, the guy with a big mouth. And sure enough, later that day, Oliver was arrested. People saw him going into an apartment wearing a T-shirt. But, moments later he came back outside on a hot and humid Florida day wearing a camouflage jacket with the hood up. Oh, good disguise! Red flag, red flag – call the cops! PASCO grabbed him without any resistance. Mr. Oliver was held in jail on a $5,000 bond for robbery by sudden snatching, according to online jail records. This guy had placed 15 comments on the Sheriff's Facebook page with loads of hints, including being in the hospital. PASCO thought this was one of their easiest fugitive take downs. They didn't even need to use "free TV" bait. For all the griping, the guy looks happy in this Sheriff's Office photo.

RULE: Don't Make your Day in Court a Facebook Comedy Show.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**83►Making Bad Moves◄**

**LOUISVILLE, Kentucky** – We're back to the famous city named for the famous French King, Louis XVI. So being named after someone with a simple name like Louis, keeping track of the city moniker should be a straightforward deal, right? No! Perhaps it's because there are at least 6 ways to pronounce the city name that Kendrik had the problem with spelling other words. With so many phonetic spellings posted around the town, how can anyone keep their spelling out of trouble let alone, _mind their p's and q's_?

And bad spelling seemed to be the downfall of Gregory Kendrick. Our man was spotted by a police cruiser on 7th Street one afternoon just standing by his vehicle. What first caught the officer's attention were two black cases sticking out of the trunk. Well, that's not a crime and there wasn't any valid reason to make a stop. Well, cops need a reason to make a stop. But when the cop pulled into the parking lot, Kendrick put the cases back in his car and drove off while checking his mirror for the tailing officer who had to let him go.

But a short time later, Kendrick was back in the same parking lot. When two officers approached him, there were the black cases and one had the word "MOVES" on it. OK, _"What's the MOVES deal all about"_? Kendrik's replied that it said "MOVIES" like in Mov-E. Where'd these cops learn to read, anyway, thought this nervous guy. But our _mover and shaker_ dude was parked in the wrong place and appeared to be hawking goods. Kendrick finally admitted that he was selling bootleg movies from the bag. When officers looked inside, they found almost 300 DVDs and more than 300 music CDs. Many of the movies had just been released in movie theaters and were not legally available on DVD yet. Moves or movies, _"he knew it was wrong"_ and that, _"he was just trying to make a little money, but would just as soon MOVE along."_ Kendrick was charged with selling counterfeit DVDs and music. They couldn't find anything on bad spelling, but his grammar school teachers are being contacted.

RULE: Don't Mix Bad MOVES with Good MOVIES.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**84►Case of the Mustachioed Masquerader◄**

**MODESTO, California** \- Modesto is located in the central valley area of Northern California, is less than 100-miles from San Francisco and just over an hour from the state capital of Sacramento. The place is surrounded by rich farmland and has a number of important vineyards, including Gallo. The city of Modesto was immortalized in the 1973 George Lucas film American Graffiti.

A man walked into a Modesto store to do a hold up. Robbers are aware that almost every store has cameras so the challenge is to not let the system capture your mug. It's not as easy as it may seem. There are dummy cameras, hidden cameras and real cameras. And don't forget the cameras outside. So while the crook may face away from the "dummy", he can get captured by a "hidden". The _hoods_ like to use hooded jackets, the notorious _"hoodie"_ , since they might attract less attention than a mask, but there are a number of crooks that like to _mask up_ for the occasion, especially around Halloween. Well, our Modesto robber decided on a hooded sweatshirt for the holdup that took place at about 3:35 am at the Quik Stop on La Loma Ave.

So did he wear a dark non-descript piece of clothing like most of the hoodies? Uh, no. He decided on wearing one with the Bambi character Thumper on the front, according to the police and as seen in the surveillance video. Police said the man reached into his right front pocket and simulated having a handgun, but no weapon was seen in videos.

He was immediately named the _"Thumper Thief"_ and that got a lot of publicity, especially on TV and the Internet. Yup, the _Robber Rabbit_ is even on YouTube. The man was described as white and in his late 30s. He is about 6 feet 3 inches tall and 180 pounds. He has brown hair and a mustache. Thumper with a mustache? This guy, while he may be a fan of Disney, doesn't seem to have any acting talent – a mustachioed rabbit – come on! Here's Thumper as he appeared in the surveillance video.

You can make the wrong impression – or too much of an impression. The unusual outfit insured that the crook got his photo pasted everywhere, tens of thousands of times on the Internet alone. And his hoodie friends probably had a good laugh, _"Hey Thumper, hop to it, or someone will get the jump on you"._

RULE: Don't Overdress for Crooked Work

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**85►Face Booking◄**

**VIRGINIA, Minnesota** – Why would a city in cold Minnesota name itself after another state? Well, it turns out that a guy named Alfred R. Humphreys, an early mining mogul, named the city after his wife, Virginia. This is probably a good thing since the original name was _Qeechaquepagem_ , given by the Ojibwe tribe, which roughly translates to "Lake of the North birds". And the mascot, as might be expected, is a big Loon. Let's see what happens in a town that likes loons.

Someone broke into Tommy's Rainy Lake Saloon & Pizza on a Saturday and swiped over $4,500 in cash. Seems like a lot of cash for a small-town joint on a lake, maybe the annual receipts. Surprisingly, the place had a very good security system and there were clear shots of the crook. Now, it was only a matter of getting someone to ID the crook. But, no one seemed to recognize him. That's bad news for the pizza bar, but good news for the town who had hoped that the bad guy was an outsider. That's when Rainy Lake owner, Amy Martinich, decided to post photos from her surveillance video onto her Facebook page. Well, it was a small town and Amy had lots of friends and she received a great response from her Facebook friends. Well, with a name like Qeechaquepagem and a big Loon mascot on Rainy Lake, maybe this is a world-famous place after all.

Sure enough, the crook was recognized by a whole bunch of FB friends. But no one seemed to know his name. Another surprise was that it appeared that the crook was a local guy. Was it only a matter of time? One of the FB friends thought they knew where to find the alleged crook and that was just the piece of the loony puzzle the cops needed. Police arrested Michael Devoy as the long-lost crook. They gave him a chance, but he couldn't explain away the clear photos of him in the pizza bar after closing. Case closed thanks to friends.

The Virginia Minnesota Police Department has seen an increase in people reaching out to help law enforcement through social media. The police say it's getting more and more common that they're getting complaints or comments on a Facebook page. They aren't alone in their use of social media in law enforcement. Other departments are using tools like Facebook to post pictures of suspects online hoping that users will recognize them and send information to the department. FB is now an investigative tool and a public awareness media.

The nearby Duluth Police Department now posts photos of suspects on their Facebook page, including Wanted Person of the Week. If they can get that many more people on the lookout, the apprehension rate goes up. So now, FB is the new way to get out an APB – All Points Bulletin. This case is a twist on the more common theme that we've seen earlier, where the crook brags on Facebook only to get caught when "friends" snitch. The good news is that small towns have savvy citizens and cops catching crooks with high tech.

RULE: Crooks beware of small towns with high tech hardware and ideas.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**86►Mr. Goldilocks II◄**

**RAVENNA, Ohio** \- The place is named for the city of Ravenna, Italy. No one seems quite sure how either place got the name, so we'll leave it at that. There is one famous person from the place and it is Bill Bower, the last surviving pilot of the Doolittle Raid where bombers took off from an aircraft carrier and bombed Tokyo.

We covered a Goldilocks story awhile ago, but the last character cleared out quickly only to be caught later because of stupidity. But this one is a little different and at least as weird and even dumber. Cory Fulst came home from work and everything seemed fine. The front door was locked and things seemed normal, well almost. He walked into his bedroom to find a sleeping beauty – dressed in his clothes. Well, it really wasn't much of a beauty; it was 31- year old Dustin Applegate. And right next to the crook was Cory's shotgun. First things first, so Cory grabbed the gun, like real fast, and took charge.

Cory called 911, keeping a bead on Applegate. _"What's he wearing?"_ asked the dispatcher. _"My t-shirt, my clothes,"_ answered Cory. _"He's got my gun loaded and everything,"_ the homeowner explained, ordering Applegate to sit on the front porch while deputies were on their way. _"He has your gun?"_ asked the dispatcher. _"No, I have my gun,"_ said Fulst adding, _"It's loaded. He loaded it. Better hurry up because he wants to run."_

_"Get down, dude. Sit down right there,"_ Applegate was charged with aggravated burglary. So what was the guy doing in Cory's bed? Who knows! There was no known connection between the homeowner and Applegate. Deputies are also praising Fulst for not overreacting – like blasting the crook. After Cory reached for the shotgun, he had no opportunity to retreat and could have fired away under Stand Your Ground doctrine.

RULE: Better Quit your Night Job Instead of Sleeping on a Dangerous Day Job.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**87►Too Much Safe Keeping◄**

**FALCONER, New York** \- This small town, about 60 miles south of Buffalo, was originally called Worksburg, not for a strong work ethic, but after Edward Work who may have had a strong work ethic for all we know. So where did Falconer come in? Turns out the land changed hands. Robert Falconer bought it from Edward Work in 1836 and got to name the place. So with this slightly strange history, do weird things happen? It appears that they do.

Cracking a safe isn't that easy, even for a locksmith. Don't believe what you've seen in the movies and TV. Here's what happened. Cops got a call that some kids were locked up in an empty building. Wow, not good. Police say they received a call around 1 am reporting that four young people were locked up inside a vault in a building that housed a former law office. Rescue crews responded to the scene but couldn't unlock the safe. So, they called in a locksmith. The lock expert freed the four teens after about 4-hours of hard work.

Well, he couldn't very well blow the safe with these kids inside, now, could he? The four teenagers were apparently partying in a former law office and got trapped inside a walk-in vault within the building. All four were checked out at a local hospital, just in case. Well, how many people walk into a safe late at night and lock themselves in? So, cops were looking for charges that might apply, but the teens had permission to be inside the building. And what was going on? A party! Cops found a large quantity of alcohol and some marijuana on the premises so charges are pending against the teens. OK, it doesn't appear that we have any crooks here, just a bad lapse of common sense. Guess these guys didn't need a lawyer even if they knew some.

RULE: Make Sure you're on the Outside when you Lock the Safe

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**88►Dumbest Crook Award from Smartest Cop◄**

**OSCEOLA, Florida** \- Osceola County was created in 1887 and now has a population of over a quarter-million people. The County, named for a fellow named Osceola who joined the Seminole Tribe, experienced a significant influx of immigrants from Puerto Rico and that is the largest ancestry group. It's a relatively small county, but has well known attractions and its most famous city is Kissimmee.

A guy from Palatka named Jackson decided he needed some money so he resumed his old habit of street robbery. A man was walking from the south side of the Marion County courthouse toward his vehicle at about 9 AM. When he was about 10 feet from the car Jackson approached his victim while using a towel wrapped around one hand. He flicked the towel off, displayed a folding knife with a 4- to 5-inch blade, and asked the man what was up. Let's see, this is in broad daylight and near a big courthouse. Hmm, not good. And why was the intended victim leaving the courthouse? Had Jackson flashed his knife at the wrong guy?

The target was Sheriff's Cpl. Timothy Liberatore. Liberatore was wearing street clothes at the time of the confrontation with the crook but he looked pretty tough. He was also carrying a nasty gun. The deputy identified himself as law enforcement, smoothly drew his evil looking sidearm, pointed it at Jackson, and ordered him to drop the knife. Then he casually called for assistance. Before long, Jackson was wearing handcuffs and sitting in the back of a police cruiser awaiting a ride to jail. OK, maybe just a dishonest mistake, but Liberatore's picture had been in the local news just a week ago, so many people would have recognized him.

Liberatore had just been named the Florida Sheriffs Association's Law Enforcement _Officer of the Year_. This is a big deal, the Top Cop of Florida, not just the city or even the county. In addition to the rank of corporal, he also is considered to be a master deputy. Last year, Liberatore made 260 arrests. The way things are going, he'll probably break his old record.

Jackson was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. He had been in and out of prison since 2003 for various offenses including burglary, grand theft and petit theft. He was last released from a Florida prison after serving almost ten years. He's apparently not learning much INSIDE, or street side.

RULE: Want to Meet the Top Cop, don't Challenge him to a Duel

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**89►Cat Burglar Almost Becomes Gator Food◄**

**BREVARD COUNTY, Florida** – Brevard County is located along the coast of the Atlantic Ocean and because of the presence of the Kennedy Space Center, is also known as The Space Coast. The telephone area code is 321 for _3-2-1 liftoff_. Plenty of movies were filmed there, especially space-oriented, like Apollo 13, Contact, Armageddon, Moonraker and Space Cowboys.

A citizen called the sheriff to report suspicious activities in Snug Harbor not far from the beautiful Merritt Island area on the east coast of Florida. It sure looked like the guy was up to no good as he poked around the vacant houses. The citizen was pretty sure that the guy was in the midst of burglary. So good neighbor John Robinson was ready to help out. Burglars are at risk in the "easy carry" Stand Your Ground State of Florida and often get shot by both homeowners and neighbors. But Mr. Robinson talked first and hollered, _"They're not home, get out of there"_ , according to a police report. The suspected burglar came out and got in his car and then backed it up to their house. Bold burglar indeed, so the neighbor called 911. In no time at all, the Brevard County Sheriff's Office (BCSO) was jumping into action and they, like most Florida Sheriff's departments, can bring on a lot of action from the ground, water and air. The burglar drove away but he had already been spotted by deputies who just love a good chase. Realizing that he wasn't going to outdrive BCSO, the crook jumped out of his car and ran from the scene. Well, there's no place to run in flatland Florida, so he jumped into the Indian River to try and get away. River, fresh water, Florida? Bad move since big gators love this river.

In short order, the sheriff's office chopper and marine units were on the scene, but they needed to get to this guy before a gator grabbed him. Thrashing around in fresh water is a good way to attract the toothy monsters. It was easy tracking. By working together as a team and with help from citizens, they were able remove this potential gator bait from the river and safely deposit him in jail. The man was known to BCSO and was considered a violent offender. Deputies arrested a very wet and frustrated Patrick Russell Brennan, 32, on this pleasant Sunday afternoon in connection with a home burglary.

While it's dumb to try to hide from cops in a gator-infested river in bright sunlight, it's also dumb to burglarize a home in a small, close-knit town where everybody knows everybody and when they're leaving and all that stuff, according to the citizen who called the sheriff. Brennan was charged with armed burglary and resisting arrest. Deputies said he was carrying a knife when he was taken into custody. Last we heard, Brennan was being held without bond at the Brevard County jail.

**RULE: Don't Hide in Wet Places in Florida**

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**90►Slam, Bam, no Thank You Mam◄**

**PORT ST. LUCIE, Florida** – Port St. Lucie was a largely uninhabited region in the 1950s, composed of a fishing camp and a few farms. The General Development Corporation purchased land, built houses and then a bridge allowing direct automobile access to Port St. Lucie. In 2007, the housing market began to collapse and the county government eventually declared itself a disaster area. With this kind of history you can expect problems, maybe weird ones.

Can you use fireworks in Florida? Yes, but only for agricultural purposes. Sounds weird, but it's a loophole everyone uses. _"Yup, I'm just scaring away crows from my garden and they really come out on the 4_ th _of July."_ OK, seems almost sensible, but how about throwing them at cars? Not a good idea to throw anything at a vehicle, especially one that's moving. But there's something worse and that's throwing a firecracker at a sheriff – a tough lady sheriff.

A Port St. Lucie bicyclist apparently threw a firecracker at a St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office patrol car. A deputy was on her way to a call and saw a firecracker thrown at her car. So, she turned on her lights and sirens and used her public address system to order Christopher Matthew Marrero, 22, to stop and desist. But, Marrero tried to outrun the sheriff. He crossed seven lanes of westbound traffic on East Prima Vista Boulevard, causing motorists to swerve and nearly cause a major accident. A second deputy quickly arrived – you know how they love a good chase. So, Marrero tried to ride between the two patrol cars and hit one of them before dropping his bike and running. But the deputies finally stopped him after a short chase. They found a red butterfly knife in Marrero's pants pocket, so they got him on weapons charge.

OK, so why did Marrero decide to toss a cherry bomb at the nice deputy? Marrero said he was bored and was also upset that a certain girl did not like him. Well, that wasn't going to get the lady deputy to like him either. Now he's really bored in the county jail under a $6,375 bond. He was charged with damaging property, throwing an explosive (not for agricultural use), carrying a concealed weapon, resisting an officer without violence and reckless driving leading to property damage. Good thing he didn't try an agricultural use excuse for fireworks like scaring off, or maybe attracting, pigs.

RULE: Really Bored? Don't Think on it too Much.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**91►You're On Candid Cop Camera◄**

**DELRAY BEACH, Florida** – Delray Beach is a coastal city in Palm Beach County and is part of the Miami metropolitan area. The place was first known as Orange Grove House of Refuge in the 1800's. Later, settlers began farming winter vegetables for the northern market. But a hard freeze in 1898 was a big setback, so maybe in an attempt to change the community's luck, the settlement changed the name to Delray after the Detroit neighborhood. So let's see if their luck has changed. Since swiping the name, the Detroit Delray has lost about a third of its population so maybe there was a bad luck transfer.

Cops always read Miranda Rights or else the evidence can be tossed out of court, right? A suspected burglar in Delray Beach confessed to having drug paraphernalia. Surprisingly, the typically tight-lipped suspected burglars in Belle Glade even said where they hid evidence and a drug suspect in Lake Worth gave up where he hid his stash. So, what's going on here, truth serum? In the recent Delray Beach case, alleged thief Marques Romo said, _"I'm dead, bro. This is the first time I ever slipped up. ... Can you imagine if I had weed on me, I mean I have that f------ paraphernalia piece, bro." Then, his alleged accomplice said, "I'm about to cry. I'm going to jail. I'm 16, I can't be going to jail. I need to call my mom."_ The evidence was good and it was recorded – thank you very much. Sometimes, there's no expectation of privacy. Some sneaky law enforcement agencies use in-car cameras that automatically switch on when they've got a customer riding in the back seat. For cops, the car cams can be a windfall. They shed light on investigations and often dreadful criminals close their own cases by making incriminating statements. In most situations, the covert recordings offer a window into how criminals think and, sometimes, into what they plan to say to officers. Police even get to overhear suspects plotting their alibis. Is this legal? Yes! Cops don't have to give anyone a heads-up about staying quiet in the back seat of a police car. And anything you say can and will be used against you. And discussions that happen when an officer isn't in the vehicle are fair game, too. Back seat comments often can be disastrous to someone hoping to get away with it and the car cam conversations are admissible as evidence in court.

The Florida Police Chiefs Association just loves high tech and they encourage members to join in. Cop dash cams are small cameras mounted on dashboards usually to record evidence in traffic cases and chases – you've seen them, or their recordings on the news. But sometimes they're used to record the back seat. These inside police cars are now in use in Boca Raton, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Davie and Hollywood. Some are also used as evidence in DUI cases – drunks love to talk.

**RULE: It can be an Open and Shut Case when you don't Shut Up**.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**92►Vacationing Scammer Caught on Facebook**

**ORLANDO, Florida** – We're back to Orlando again where fantasy can meet stark reality. Do you like to brag a little about you vacation exploits on Facebook? Sure, everyone does, it's that chance to post something really new and maybe a little wild. And it was no different for Silva and his gal from Brazil who were taking in all the things to do in Orlando and just a little more. Silva just loved to document his travels, posting pictures of himself in front of lots of places like Orlando's outlet malls, restaurants, nightclubs, a Miami hotel, and later, at the Hard Rock Casino in Tampa. But there was a problem with this dude and his mate. They were running a credit card scam to pay for their travels. In fact, they were making so much, they were exporting cash. The Feds were following the exploits on the social media, especially Facebook and the location photos helped them zero in.

For two months, federal agents turned to Facebook to track Marllon Terglys Pinheiro Silva and Lilian Benatti.

Silva and Lilian had a wonderful time, but it was finally time to return to Brazil and so they headed for Orlando International Airport. While there was no one to say goodbye, there were greeters, plenty of greeters. And it wasn't just TSA searching their luggage and backpack. Our tech-savvy Federal Agents knew what to look for and found eight blank credit cards, thousands of dollars, and active credit card numbers on Silva's laptop. He was arrested and a federal grand jury indicted him promptly on two counts of trafficking in a counterfeit device. The criminal complaint filed against 22-year-old Silva, who posted a photo of himself in front of a Miami Beach hotel where he delivered $20,000 in cash obtained through the credit card scheme to a courier returning to Brazil. The files on Silva's laptop were indicative of _"credit card dumps"_ \- illegally obtained credit card numbers, corresponding expiration dates and cardholder's names. Right, the Feds understand this stuff in today's cyber world. Silva said he had mailed a package to Brazil earlier that day, apparently so he wouldn't have to take some incriminating evidence through security. But the Feds would get even luckier, as Faceboy tried to wrangle out of the situation.

_"It was the lady's fault"_ , said Silva. He tried to convince everyone that Ms. Benatti had planned their trip and the credit card scheme – she was the real "brains". He also told investigators that Benatti re-encoded credit cards using her laptop and withdrew thousands of dollars from ATM machines in Orlando. In an attempt to further incriminate the girlfriend, Silva also told detectives that Benatti left her laptop and a credit card re-encoding machine in a duffel bag with the owner of an International Drive gift store. _"Hey, thanks, we like solid evidence."_ When agents asked the store owner about the bag, he said he agreed to hold the item for Ms. Benatti until she returned to Orlando. That wasn't an unusual request, but it was the contents that were unusual. Agents searched the bag and found a laptop, re-encoding machine, and 55 fraudulent cards. Ooops! Silva and former friend were booked into the Seminole County Jail. Brazilian Facebook friends want to know, _"Hey Silva, when you coming back from vacation?"_

RULE: Don't Mickey Mouse Around with Scams in Orlando.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**93►Know Your Opponent◄**

**MARIONVILLE, Missouri** – Marionville has nearly 600 families residing in the city, so it's small where nothing happens unless it's a nasty tornado. But, this small town also has a population of white squirrels making it only one of a handful of such places in the United States. So let's see what happens in a small southern town with lots of squirrels.

A crook decided to rob the Beer 30 store on Logan Street in Marionville. This should be an easy heist since the crook had a loaded gun. The thief hesitated just for a moment and then pulled out a gun. Easy caper, right? No! The store clerk was Jon Alexander and he quickly thwarted the armed robbery. How's that? Yup, Mr. Alexander was fast on the draw and pulled his own gun, a Walther PPX 9 mm with one in the chamber. And he didn't just point the gun, he stuck it in the hapless crook's mouth. The crook must have opened his mouth just in time when he saw the Walther and probably didn't have much to say, anyway. Wow, how did this split-second turn about happen? First, Jon is an Iraq war veteran, a former prison guard and private investigator. Jon has served four tours of duty in Iraq during his 30 years in the U.S. military and he's a professional extraditor of federal prisoners. He knows all about shooting having been shot in combat. He's worked several _"high risk"_ jobs and that's his specialty. It doesn't get much better.

But isn't this dangerous? The crook had the drop on the clerk. Yet, no one was hurt and no shots were fired. Police-to-clerk, _"You're a lucky man."_ Clerk-to-police, _"I think he (the robber) is a little luckier than I am."_ Right, a _one-in-the-chamber_ Walther PPX 9 mm in your mouth and you don't get a ride to the morgue? The store video was classic. Mr. Alexander used his left hand to push the robber's handgun back while pulling and swinging his 9 mm into the robber's mouth in a very smooth but lightning-quick motion as the crook haplessly held his own weapon at his side. The crook had telegraphed his moves earlier to the trained eye of our Rambo clerk. He came in the store smoking a cigarette and that was against the rules, so trouble – red flag.

Some stores will fire a hero clerk, but not here. Owner Max Dawson thought it was a great thing and that actions appeared safe based on the surveillance video. But our Rambo guy had a soft spot in his heart and didn't shoot even though his boss, Dawson, a victim of burglary many times, believed that bad guys deserve to be shot. Jon said he didn't fire because the man never got his weapon pointed at him. He wasn't in danger and couldn't really apply _Stand Your Ground_ defense. But if he'd seen the actual barrel of the gun pointed at him, he would have pulled the trigger. He let the perp walk out, another surprise. But Jon did provide a detailed description of the crook, right down to the distinctive tattoos on his arms. How about some DNA? Police swabbed his pistol for DNA. Is this dude cool? He didn't even mention it to his wife, but she eventually saw the video on the news. Just an ordinary day/night on the job. Jon plans to send the footage to the National Rifle Association and to law enforcement for training proposes. And in a final note, the crook was caught after the video went viral. Thank a vet!

RULE: It's not Always Polite to Point at a Hero

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**94►Hold Up Foiled by Fall Guy◄**

**LAKE BUENA VISTA, Florida** – The Lake Buena Vista area is the home of Disney World and other major entertainment destinations so expect unusual things happen here. Of course, there's more than entertainment. And crooks can be entertaining.

It's bad enough to rob a church, but a national shrine? Maybe you won't be struck by lightning, but don't expect things to end well. Anthony Garcia walked into the National _Shrine of Mary, Queen of the Universe_ near Orlando just after lunch and demanded money from a volunteer cashier. But the woman didn't hand over the money. Hey, this is religious money, you jerk. But Garcia grabbed the cash drawer from the register and ran off. Isn't someone going to stop this crook? They suddenly, there was a problem. He was using both hands to hold on to the stolen money. And then, his pants started to slip down and he didn't have a free hand to grab them. He wasn't just looking cool, his butt was showing, and in a sacred religious place. So, the fleeing crook tried to use one to hand pull up his pants. Well, the director of maintenance saw his chance, caught up with the one armed bandit and pulled his pants down as church ladies blushed. Down went the crook and the maintenance guy held him down. Two deputies who were near the shrine area were able get to there quickly.

The 31-year-old crook was arrested on robbery because he had attempted to steal money from the gift shop of an Orange County Roman Catholic. The maintenance director, hero of the day, said he acted because Garcia didn't have a weapon. Garcia remained in the Orange County Jail on $1,000 bail. And maybe our hero thought that God was watching over the situation. Although more charges may be pending, indecent exposure isn't on the list.

RULE: When things Get Tough, Tighten Your Belt.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**95►Don't Call Us, We'll Call You◄**

**EASTPOINTE, Michigan** \- Eastpointe was formerly known as East Detroit and so it's part of the Metro Detroit area. So why change the name? This was to remove any perceived association with the adjacent and much maligned Detroit. And "pointe" was intended to associate Eastpointe with the nearby affluent communities of the Grosse Pointes. But all of this had no effect on the local criminals, especially car thieves. Cars are a popular item for crooks, both old and new cars. Ryan Evans had just been released from prison and could hardly wait to get back in the game. He wanted a good car, so why not get one that had just been tuned up. Evans gained entry to an Eastpointe repair shop by breaking through a glass door. Based on evidence, he first tried to break into a nice Ford Mustang but could not find the keys. Now, where would they leave the keys? On the car? Yup, those keys were in plain sight, lying on the roof of the Mustang, but our crook didn't think of that. But now, Evans found some keys, but they didn't fit the Mustang. He eventually figured out that the keys fit a 2005 Cadillac STS, and that's only because there was a description tag. So, far, so good.

Evans fired up the Caddy and drove straight through one of the closed bay doors, trashing the door and doing untold damage to the car's front end. Hey, why didn't you just push the _"Open Door"_ button? Even with all this choppy and sloppy work, Evans got away clean, well, sort of, as we shall see.

The cops stopped at Evans' Roseville apartment, but no one was home. That's quick – a perp ID so soon. But they were able to snag him in a traffic stop. _"Why you picking on me?"_ _"Oh, we just want to return your cell phone."_ You guessed it. Evans had dropped his cell phone at the crime scene. And that made it easy, even with a stolen phone. Police found several "selfies", really clear vanity shots of Evans. _"Hey, nice tattoos"_. Doesn't everyone know that tattoos are carefully described and photographed by Law Enforcement? It didn't take long to log in and identify the crook that had just been released from prison. Now he's behind bars again. He faces charges of breaking and entering, destruction of property, and unlawful driving away of an automobile, enough to get him ten years in prison. And we can also add a parole violation.

RULE: A Klutz? Then Picture yourself in Prison.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**96►Cool Crook Caught by a Hot Cucumber◄**

**PRESTON, England** \- This Lancashire city is located on the north bank of the River Ribble. It's been around for a long time; Preston is recorded in the Doomsday Book as "Prestune" dated 1086 AD. It's an important industrial city and a major center of the British defense aerospace industry, including prime contractor, BAE Systems.

We've seen how crooks aid in their own capture by leaving calling cards behind, like cell phones and wallets. But, crooks always leave something behind and it's the basic rule of forensic evidence. And the English are the masters of forensics, probably starting with the methods of the fictitious master detective, Sherlock Holmes. England is also the birthplace of DNA criminology, dating back to 1987 when the method was first used. So UK crooks be warned, Bobbies are quite good at forensics.

Billy Joe Donnelly, 22, burgled a greenhouse and sampled the owner's home-grown produce, but also swiped some meat from a close-by market. The occupants were in bed asleep at the time and there must have been some planning involved here. Donnelly then broke into the house next to the greenhouse in the village of Preston by smashing a window.

The owner had intended to sell the items he was growing in the greenhouse, but shockingly, someone had been in there and eaten most of the vegetables and a cucumber. The thief had also ransacked the house, stealing treasured possessions including the retirement watch of the owner. And then the wife woke up to discover her car was missing.

Now enter our detectives. _"You say the bloke took a bite out of your cucumber?"_ Ah, ha! As you might guess, the cucumber had the crooks DNA and that might lead to his capture. Yes! Wow, caught by a cucumber! When the police arrested him, two cannabis plants were found in his airing cupboard, but no cucumbers. Our cumber crook pleaded guilty at Hull Crown Court to two burglaries, theft and to producing cannabis. _"He was just not thinking about that at the time. He is sorry for what has happened and he bitterly regrets his actions."_ And he doesn't even like cucumbers. He was sentenced to two and a half years in jail at Hull Crown Court. Judge Michael Mettyear couldn't resist, _"You were caught by a cucumber."_ The judge said that only real mitigation was the plea of guilty. But then again, the cucumber had him cold.

RULE: Be sure to Eat the Evidence, not just Nibble.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**97►Case of the Wayward Santa◄**

**NAPLES, Florida** \- Naples is located between Miami and Fort Myers. It is one of the wealthiest cities in the United States, with the 6th highest per capita income in America and the second highest proportion of millionaires per capita in the USA. Real estate is amongst the most expensive in the country with houses going for more than $40 million. Famous people who have lived there include astronaut Buzz Aldrin and businessman, Bill Gates. With rich pickings, let's see what crooks are doing.

Crooks think of all kinds of entry points as we've already seen, and some are bad ideas. You can get stuck when tunneling into a bank, trapped while going through air conditioning ducts, but a chimney is mostly always trouble. Richard Tyler Brandon, 25, ran out of cash during a night out partying. And no one would give him enough money for a drink. What to do? Robbery didn't seem like a good idea, so how about just plain burglary. It's easier and safer – well, not always safer. All the doors were locked, so now what? _"Chimney, that's the ticket."_ So up went Mr. Brandon, onto the roof and right into the chimney as friends watched and laughed. But soon there were cries for help. His friend, Derek Grenfell, alerted two Naples police officers about the situation after it became quite obvious that Brandon was stuck – really stuck.

Rescue, we need a weird rescue. A team of cops and firefighters broke into the home where Brandon had disappeared. _"Where is this clown?"_ And then they saw Brandon's foot hanging in the fireplace. _"Dude, you're not Santa Claus, what are you doing?"_ , asked the rescuers. They got their man and they got him out. But, it took 2 hours. Brandon was freed from the chimney and taken to the hospital for treatment for problems including leg pain and trouble breathing. Yah, he was huffing and puffing, but not doing a very good Santa. The man wasn't very jolly since there is a chance he could have died, according to Naples Detectives. The chimney climbing crook was jammed into the small space really tight and couldn't move. Brandon was charged with two burglary counts and his friend was charged as an accessory to the crime after the fact.

RULE: Climbing to New Heights in Crime can be a Let Down.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**98►When Crime is Afoot, call in the Gumshoes◄**

**SWANSEA, South Wales** – It's the second largest city in Wales and nicely situated on the sandy South West Wales coast. The nickname is _Copperopolis_ since Swansea was a key center of the copper industry. There are some famous people from the city like the poet Dylan Thomas. But Swansea's most famous daughter is Hollywood actress Catherine Zeta-Jones who still owns a home there.

" _Where's my big TV"_ , a woman wanted to know. Her house had been burgled, so she called the Bobbies. As we've found out before, some of the best detectives in the world reside in the UK, so forensic evidence is important. A search of the home didn't reveal much, at least not to an untrained eye. _"Hey, Wots that?"_ Looks like a piece of shoelace. But it didn't belong in that home, so it must belong to the crook. Right, the _Rule of Evidence Exchange_ states that the perpetrator always takes something away, and always leaves something behind. So how do you go from a small piece of shoelace to a crook's ID? And who's the King of DNA evidence? The Brits, of course, as we've recently found out. They were the first to use DNA as court evidence and are quite good.

But why would there be any DNA on the shoelace? Shoe, maybe, but... Off to the lab with fingers crossed. _"We got a hit – a match."_ A bungling British burglar busted by his boots. Career crook, David Wilks, 33, was caught courtesy of a small piece of his shoelace that was left at the scene of a crime. David Wilks had robbed a woman of her 42-inch TV, but in the process left a part of his shoelace at the scene. Cops in Swansea, South Wales, got lucky with the fragment sent for analysis and found traces of DNA that matched this known criminal.

But how did the DNA get on the lace? It turns out the crook's feet were so sweaty that sweat had seeped into the shoe strings and he was tracked down with DNA testing. Faced with solid incriminating evidence, Wilks confessed that he'd broken into a young woman's home as she slept and stole her 42-inch TV. He was so taken but getting caught so easily, that he broke down and admitted to breaking into another 11 homes. Wilks appeared at Merthyr Tydfil Crown Court, where he pleaded guilty to burglary. He will be jailed for two years. This case is a testimony of the power of DNA forensics and how far the method has come.

RULE: Mind your Laces or Get Tripped up.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**99►The Incriminating Disguise◄**

**PEORIA, Arizona** – Did Arizona swipe the name from Illinois? Yup. This place was named after Peoria, Illinois and the word "peoria" is a corruption of the Illini word for "prairie fire". In July 1917, a fire broke out that was so severe, it virtually wiped out the entire town. So it seems like they got a right to that prairie fire name. Peoria is now larger than its namesake and no one cares anymore. The city is also the spring training home of the San Diego Padres and Seattle Mariners, so there.

The Chase bank near Northern Avenue was held up by a crook that was careful not to touch anything. He seemed to know how to do it and that hinted that the crook was somewhat of a professional – one with prints on file.

During the investigation, a pair of sunglasses was found nearby and no one seemed to own them. _"What color eyes did he have?"_ – Oh, he was wearing sunglasses. The robber had escaped by jumping a cinder block wall into a nearby neighborhood. The first thing cops noticed were a dropped pair of sunglasses. Police preserved the evidence, just in case there was something useful for the lab. Well, it's worth a shot, so off to the lab went the glasses. Maybe there would be DNA. Even better, there was one single fingerprint on those glasses. If the glasses had stayed in the sun, the print could have been lost, although latent print techniques have come a long way. And just that one little print, that's all it took. The method for glass or plastic is to subject the sample to "superglue vapors" and it worked well here. And, luck continued with an instant match-up in the state data base, although the large FBI system, Integrated Automated Fingerprint Identification System (IAFIS), would have been next. Joseph Henderson was arrested in Peoria after police said he robbed a Chase bank. Peoria police had the whole case wrapped up in less than a TV hour - better than a TV program. Police said Henderson admitted to robbing the bank. The clincher was when they found the stolen money at his home.

RULE: Don't Leave Your Cool Shades or you'll Land in the Cooler.

\---------------- Ϙ ----------------

**100►Angler Caught by a Fish?◄**

**BETHEL, Vermont** – Let's end with a fish story. This one has a nice twist. Bethel is a small Vermont town populated by only a few thousand people. The place is best known as the source of Bethel White Granite used to build famous structures including the National Museum of Natural History in Washington DC. You might expect a low crime rate with such a small population and its biblical village name and you'd be right. We'll investigate one of the "crimes" that occurred, but locals are not even sure how it should be classified.

Investigators visited Ryan McCullough in his Bethel home and wanted to check his freezer. Actually, it was his cousin's home since a bigger freezer was needed for the big fish. Things got weird right away. The investigators had a radio receiver hooked to a directional antenna. So what's going on here? These guys were tracking a radio signal and it led right to this house. Someone must have planted a "bug".

The radio signal must be coming from the dead victim and it must be in this house. They were accusing Ryan of kidnapping one of their "own" from several towns away. Ryan insisted that he would never resort to a kidnap and there was no dead person here. But the weird-looking antenna pointed to Ryan's fridge; actually, it belonged to his cousin. So was there a victim and a crime? Well, maybe. The dead victim was quickly located and would become evidence against Ryan.

Game Warden Keith Gallant located the victim, a salmon, in a freezer. Then bewildered Ryan McCullough of Bethel was issued a citation. So what's going on here? It seems that a Vermont fisherman had caught a nice big fish in the Connecticut River. The 31.5-inch fish, almost 10 pounds of it, even got its picture in a local newspaper. What's the big deal? This was no ordinary fish. It was an Atlantic Salmon that Ryan caught in the White River downstream from the Stockbridge Federal Fish Hatchery.

Ryan had claimed that the fish was a Brown Trout, not an Atlantic Salmon. But authorities took issue. The salmon had been released so that biologists could do some tracking. But the biologists received a signal from dry land and didn't think that there big Salmon had learned how to walk. Tracking was fairly easy since the fish sported a nice radio transmitter that gave his location and his identity. The problem is that salmon are not on the list of legal catches. McCullough may be on the hook for as much as $1,500 in fines and restitution for his mistake as well as losing his licenses for three years. Ryan has been fishing since he was little, so it's a wonder that he didn't know a salmon when it looked him in the eye. This fish was bigger than any his grandpa caught over 50-years of fishing the river. Hmm. Everybody knows that all the big fish were caught by dads and grandpas.

Anglers fishing in the Connecticut River have been urged to make sure that they correctly identify the fish they catch. Salmon are to be released immediately since Anadromous Atlantic Salmon in the Connecticut River Basin is a big game species and the penalties for taking them are substantial. That fish is federally protected since the species became endangered very quickly when mills and dams sprung up along the Connecticut River late in the 19th century. Once the waterways were clogged, the salmon no longer could return from the Atlantic to spawn. But it's not that simple.

Vermont classifies Atlantic salmon as "big game.'' It's the only fish with that designation, putting it on par with bear, moose, deer, and turkey. To catch one and keep it, noted LeCours, is considered a serious offense. Poor Ryan. He wants to be a fishing guide and finally get recognized - nationally - and it turns out to be in the worst way possible. But some say Ryan got a bad deal. The two fish look nearly identical. What's more, this salmon isn't really a native. Had Ryan fished with a Massachusetts license instead of Vermont, the fish would not be "big game" and the fine would have been $100 or less. Good luck Ryan, but maybe you should go into law.

RULE: Query about your quarry, you may become the prey.

# THE END

###

### About the Author

Dr. Ken Gilleo is a retired materials scientist (University of Connecticut) who worked in the electronics industry for several decades. He was employed by several large and small companies in the new products area and holds 33 US patents. Dr. Gilleo has authored over 500 technical papers and several substantial technical books, but has now moved to "fun" non-fiction. He got interested in law enforcement after become an expert witness that require "industrial forensic" work - where the "crime scene" is the factory and the culprit can be a machine or a process turned bad. He is a volunteer (VIPS) working in law enforcement at the local police department in Port Orange, FL and the Volusia County Sheriff's Office (VCSO).

Other books by this author

Please visit your favorite ebook retailer to discover other books by Ken Gilleo:

100 Mysteries Solved by Science, Barnes & Nobel 2010

MEMS/MOEMS Packaging, McGraw-Hill, NY, 2005.

Area Array Packaging Concepts and Designs, McGraw-Hill, NY 2003

Area Array Packaging Materials, McGraw-Hill, NY 2003

Area Array Packaging Processes and Equipment Editor/Author 2003

Area Array Packaging Handbook, McGraw-Hill, NY 2001

Handbook of Flexible Circuits, Van Nostrand Reinhold, NY, 1992

Polymer Thick Film, Van Nostrand Reinhold, NY, 1996

