 
NEWBORN  
Book 1 of NEWBORN TRILOGY  
Copyright 2014 Shayn Bloom. All rights reserved.

For more information about the author and series:  
shaynbloom.blogspot.com

Edited and formatted by Kye Fehrenbach.

**Smashwords Edition, License Notes**

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter One  
Chapter Two  
Chapter Three  
Chapter Four  
Chapter Five  
Chapter Six  
Chapter Seven  
Chapter Eight  
Chapter Nine  
Chapter Ten  
Chapter Eleven  
Chapter Twelve  
Chapter Thirteen  
Preview of AWAY WITH ME

## Chapter One

I'm going to college.

To move into my new home.

A dorm room.

I'm in the back seat of Dad's Chevy Silverado. Mom and Dad are in the front seats and not speaking. In my finite wisdom, I attempted to have one parent move me in. But in the end I couldn't decide which and both of them wanted to be the last to see me off to college. Off into the wondrous independent world of adulthood.

My parents are divorced. That fact is not helping the awkward feeling filling the car. They first separated two years ago, when I was sixteen and still in high school, and the divorce came through a year later. Until they separated I'd never heard Mom say the word 'Eugene.' It'd been 'Gene' for nineteen years. Such is the bitterness of divorce. Well, bittersweetness for Mom. Bitterness for me. And Dad.

My name is Nora Saynt-Rae. I'm going to Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington to study English. Why study a subject with no employment potential, you ask? Because I love writing. It's the only thing I feel I'm effortlessly good at. Everything else in my life has been an acquired skill.

"How many students go to Evergreen?" Mom asks for the hundredth time.

I avert my eyes from the window. "Five thousand."

Dad snorts from behind the wheel. "That all? Know how many UW had when I went? Forty thousand."

"I think a smaller school is a better school," Mom remarks, her retort just short of a snap. "Small class sizes mean more interaction with your professors, Nora Saynt. That kind of thing can really help your grades along. The profs will learn your name and see you as a real person rather than just a number."

"Exactly," Dad growls back. "Your professors _know_ you, so if you're not a favorite they'll fuck you over when it's time for recommendation letters. They'll remember everything – the good and the bad. Best keep it generic and get good grades. That's the way to go about it, Nora Rae."

I roll my eyes to the Silverado's ceiling. I know my parents too well to take either of their advice seriously. Neither is really trying to give advice. They're in rivalry mode, rivalry to be the best – and right – parent. The heat of their competition is almost odorous. Sighing, I gaze out my window.

"Are we nearly there?" I ask.

"Crossing into Olympia now," Mom replies quickly. She's the first to answer, and she's unable to keep the smile from her lips after this tiny victory. "Oh, I'm going to miss you so much my little saint!"

Staring out my window, I see the lush green of passing meadows and waterways. Soon I will be on my own – away from my parents and all of their problems. I will be free like a bird flying south in winter or a kite catching the wind in summer. Free like a newborn whose eyes reflect the gift of all seasons.

"I know," I reply, so softly I'm not sure she can hear. "I'm going to miss you, too."

Twenty minutes later we're on campus. The buzz of excitement in the air is palpable as students and parents surround us everywhere, moving in. Cars and trucks are parked haphazardly here and there, wherever they can get closest to the scattered array of dorm buildings.

Parking in an uncomfortably crowded lot, Dad gets out and opens my door for me. I hop down and glance in relief at the truck's bed, where everything has managed to stay in one piece during our drive. I'd been worried – anxious, even. I needn't have bothered. Dad has it under control. Maybe I'm anxious about other things.

"I'll go get your room key and sign you in," Dad says gruffly. "You two can... wait here." His tone reveals in no uncertain terms his knowledge of what he's missing. Mom and I being totally pathetic together. Dad departs, and no sooner do I sigh and turn to look at Mom than I see the tears glistening in her eyes.

"My girl's off to college," she says. "All grown –"

But the tears are interrupting her now, large fat drops that drench her face even as she smiles through them. Gasping back a sob, she throws her arms around me. Winded, I hug her back hard, my own agony at our parting just short of tears. I hope she knows I'll miss her. Like really knows.

"I'm going to miss you too, Mom," I murmur into her perfume.

She nods on my shoulder. "I know you will."

Dad returns suddenly. "Building C, Nora."

"Yes," I reply, breaking from Mom. "That's me."

Mom sniffs and wipes her eyes. I see Dad's as he finishes rolling them. "It'll be easier if we drive closer to the dorm. So hop in ladies – I know where it is. You're not quite free of us yet, Nora Rae."

* * *

My room is on the third floor of dorm building C. I'm not the first to move in. My roommate, whoever she is, has already deposited a veritable litany of crates and boxes and is currently nowhere to be found. I keep hoping she'll be nice. Friendly, at least. I could use a friend here.

Mom is making my bed. Dad is sitting at my desk and making sure my computer is hooked up to the internet after having finished with the cable TV. I managed to plug in my mini fridge on my own. My bed made, I sit down on it beside my mother. I can tell I'm in for a few rough nights – this bed is nowhere near as comfortable as my bed at home.

A sharp pain throws itself on my gut. Stabbed, I grab my stomach and wince. "Ouch!"

"What?" Mom asks, gazing worriedly into my eyes. "What's wrong?"

"N – nothing!" I gasp hurriedly, letting go of myself. "I just felt like I was going to be sick. I don't know what it is."

"Nerves," Dad answers knowingly. "Not uncommon when moving to a new place. You may have had a small anxiety attack."

I gape at him. "Really?"

Dad's a contractor specializing in kitchens and bathrooms, so his knowledge of these matters is beyond doubt. Actually, I think he's right. Over the last couple weeks I've been experiencing similar pains. The timing would make it seem like it's related to my moving to college.

I've been looking forward to college for years, ever since I was a junior in high school and I realized there's a land beyond those double doors that led to the entirety of my mid teens. The last eight months has been a time of immense excitement for me. Odd that I'm getting panic attacks.

"We'd better hit the road, Cindy," Dad says, turning in my desk chair. "I've got a thing tonight – need to be home by six o'clock. Internet's all fixed up and all. Anything else you need, Nora?"

I shake my head from the bed. "No thanks, Dad. You and Mom have done plenty for me already – now _and_ over the last eighteen years. You can let me be now, I'll be alright. Just take care of yourselves."

I look around impressively. Embarrassing though it is to admit, I'm looking for proud praise after this announcement. None comes. Mom and Dad are staring at each other, and Mom's eyes flash dangerously. Did they even hear me? "A _thing_ , Eugene?" Mom says aloud, "What kind of _thing_?"

Dad blinks, his face becoming guarded. "It's nothing, Cindy."

"Good," Mom replies sharply. "Because I'm not going to see my daughter until Thanksgiving! If I want to stay a little longer we'll be staying a little longer! Whatever your 'thing' is, Eugene, it can wait!"

Oh shit.

This always happens when they're together. First, they pamper me and whoever does it the most wins. Mom always wins this round. Second, they give me advice of some sort. Dad usually wins this round. Third, they interact with me and whoever suggests our meeting end first loses. This third round is the toss up round, so whoever wins this round wins the day.

Despite Dad giving the game away, Mom is pissed. Legitimately, it seems. "Cindy," Dad says tiredly. "It's been a long day. We got up early and it's a long drive back to Baring. Let's call it a day."

Fire is coursing through Mom's nostrils. "You would! You would call it a day! Today is one of the biggest days in our daughter's life and you would have it end faster! Or else run off to do whatever it is you want to do. I'm sure it's nothing important! Whereas this – _this_ is important, Eugene!"

Okay – reality check. First of all, yes – Mom's probably right and whatever Dad's going off to do isn't all that important compared to what today means for me. Second of all, the truth is that in my mind they can't leave fast enough. The internet's working, the TV's plugged in, and the fridge still works. So they can leave. Secretly, I'm rooting for Dad to win. I want them to leave ASAP.

"The sooner we leave the sooner Nora can start making friends," Dad says, gesturing to the crates in the room not belonging to me. "Her roommate is going to be back any minute. Wouldn't it be better if we weren't here for that? They could get off to a good start without embarrassing parent introductions."

I raise my eyebrows. Dad gets it. He's being uncharacteristically sensitive to the intricacies of making new relationships. Yes – Dad's the one who's really understanding how important today is for me. What it means. He understands the best thing they can do for me right now is fuck off.

Mom stands up. "Why are you making me leave my daughter?"

"What?" Dad looks flustered. "I'm not!"

"Yes you are!" Mom announces furiously, and I'm stunned to see tears welling in her eyes again. "I know what you're doing, Eugene! You're trying to sabotage my relationship with Nora on the last day I'll see her in three months!"

Holy bejesus fuck.

"Cindy!" Dad says, standing too, his voice hollow with shock. "No! That's not true. Not true at all. How could you thin –?"

"Just tell me," Mom interrupts, "What is it you have to be home for? _What_ , Eugene?"

Dad flaps his arms helplessly and averts his eyes. "Fine, fine!" he says. "I have a date tonight. A date, Cindy! Happy now?"

"You?" Mom can't finish the sentence. Collapsing to the bed, she puts her hands over her face to hide her tears.

I'm staring at them in shock. What the fuck is happening? I thought today was going to be about me. Why is this coming up all of a sudden? Why now? Dad seems to be wondering the same thing.

"Cindy," he murmurs, sitting on the bed beside her. "What's all this about? It's been two years already..." I'm gaping, unabashed. Dad notices. "Nora, why don't you go for a walk around campus?" He isn't suggesting this. It's a demand, and I'm not dumb enough to ignore it. "Have your key?"

Pulling my new lanyard out of my pocket, I dangle the key in front of him. I'm not sure I can summon words right now. "Keep it safe," Dad says, squeezing Mom's shoulder as he does. "We'll be gone when you get back. Have a fun evening tonight and a good first day tomorrow. I'll call tomorrow night."

I'm dismissed. I make as though to try and hug him, but he shakes his head. He's practically holding Mom now as she sobs into his shoulder. I walk to the door. "Bye Mom," I say unwisely, and open the door.

Just before I close the door behind me I hear Dad's voice, softer, quieter: "When _I_ turned forty it took a few days before I had my head back on straight..." The door closes and I'm alone in the hallway.

Holy fucking shitballs.

I almost want to laugh. Or cry. I can't decide. So many emotions are coursing through me right now. I can understand how Mom is feeling. Between my going off to college and Dad apparently dating again for the first time since the divorce, I can see why she's messed up. She did turn forty on Saturday.

Breathing deeply to calm my nervous heart, I walk forward. The hallway has other apartments branching off of it. A communal bathroom is ahead. I dart inside for a second to check myself.

I stare into the mirror. A thin, pale, brown-haired girl stares back at me. She looks ill. I am ill. Or I think I am. The anxiety sickness, perhaps. My stomach is still aching painfully. It's not hunger – it's like hunger, but not. It's like I'm hungry but I know I'll throw up whatever I eat. Sighing, I gaze into my eyes.

My eyes are uniquely bright. For a while it freaked people out at home. I thought it was funny, but in the end I caved and bought a pair of colored contacts. Somehow they dim the brightness so I look normal.

Other eccentricities? I like perfume. Like Mom I have a tendency to put on too much. I practically douse myself, but I choose scents that make it not overwhelming. Combing my long hair with my fingers, I take a last look in the mirror before leaving dorm building C.

The sunlight has dimmed outside, yielding to a cloudy sky. This is of no surprise to most people in this part of Washington State because it rains so much here. Olympia is near the base of the Olympic Peninsula, which is the rainiest part of the United States. In all months except August and September, it's bound to rain at least every other day and often more.

It hasn't started raining yet. I stroll away from my dorm, trying to distract myself with the lush scenery. It's not working – I'm still wondering what Dad might be saying to Mom back in my room. Geez, I hope they leave before my roommate gets back. What an awkward introduction to my life.

As I approach the main section of campus, signs begin popping out at me. The college recreations building passes me on the right while the communications building passes on the left. A little after that, the activities building passes me on the left while the seminar buildings pass on the right. Finally, I arrive at Red Square, the center of campus. On three sides surrounding me are the Daniel J. Evans library, lecture halls, lab buildings, and more seminar buildings.

At the base of Red Square is a long driveway that curls around like a horseshoe. It's from here that most of the students are flooding the campus, pushing trolleys and carts and bearing trunks between them. Vehicles line the horseshoe like insects. Without thinking, I make my way to the horseshoe.

In the center of the horseshoe is a pleasant little forest. But it doesn't catch my interest for long. For now I'm surrounded by people, mostly my age and of every breed imaginable: Jocks, goths, hipsters, nerds, and bookworms like me. I should get out of the high school mindframe, now I'm a college student.

But I can't just yet, because there's somebody I can't quite place. He's tall, blond, and getting out of a cab in front of me. My first instinct is goth, because he's wearing what looks like a cape, but he can't be a goth. No goth would smile so widely while retrieving a snowy white owl in a cage from the backseat of the cab. He's gorgeous, this boy. I fear I'm staring.

I see I'm wrong. It's not a cape he's wearing but a robe – a smart, enveloping black robe with a short, thin stick in one of his front pockets. With the help of the cabdriver, the boy lifts a trunk from the back of the cab. Slamming the trunk closed, the cab driver leans on it, looking impatient. The blond boy looks flustered now.

I make my way to the cab, through the crowd of people and other vehicles until I'm beside the odd looking boy and the cab driver. The boy turns to me. "Excuse me," he says, "Could you lend me a hand?"

"Sure," I reply, gazing into dazzlingly turquoise eyes. "With what?"

"This," answers the robed boy, and plunging his hand into his pocket he brings forth a handful of paper and coins. "Can you count out $80.19?"

"Um, I guess," I say, amazed by this. Is he foreign? He doesn't sound foreign. His accent is American. I look into his hand. Geez, a couple of these coins I've never seen before. They're large, like half-dollars, and bizarrely designed. Not wanting to keep him waiting, I take a few twenties from the wad of paper money and the dime, nickel, and pennies to match. "There you go."

"Thanks," says the boy profusely, beaming at me as he hands the money over.

Taking his pay, the driver allows his eyes to trace the strange dress and appearance of his customer one last time before jumping back in his cab and taking off. The boy and I are left in the middle of the road with a trunk and an occupied bird cage. Err, excuse me – _owl_ cage.

"That looks heavy," I say, gesturing to the trunk. "Need help?"

Stowing the remainder of his paper and coinage in his robes pocket, the boy grins at me. "Gabriel White," he says, extending a hand. "And no thank you. This thing's got wheels on one end which makes it quite manageable."

I shake his hand. "Nora Saynt-Rae," I tell him.

He gazes at me thoughtfully. "Hyphen?"

"My parents insisted on it," I say. "Well, Mom did mostly. It's like she knew the marriage wouldn't last. That was her way of keeping a piece of me."

"Oh," Gabriel says, registering this.

_Oh shit._ Too heavy, too fast?

I pick up the owl cage. "I can get this. What's his name?"

" _Her_ name," he begins, "is Merrifeather. She's friendly."

Huge amber eyes blink at me. She's a pretty owl. What a bizarre pet. "Do they allow owls here?" I ask, gazing around as though expecting to see owls in cages erupting from car trunks and back doors.

"They do now," Gabriel says. "Thank you for your help with the money, Nora. I won't intrude on your day any longer." Picking up his trunk at one end and taking the cage from me, the boy walks away.

I want to call after him, to tell him not to go, but I don't know how. How can I make this more than just the casual meeting it is? I realize there is – quite simply – no other way to go about it.

"Wait!" I yell after him. I'm in the middle of the street, bouncing on the balls of my feet and looking like a fool. "Wait!" I hurry to where he is turned, objects still in hand, a half smile etched on his face. _Holy bejesus is he pretty._ Those teeth are so white! That smile so effortless! His hair so –

"What?" Gabriel asks, his smile faltering.

_Oh shit_! I'm gawking. "D – Do you want to get food later, or something?" I stammer.

A brilliant, full smile breaks across his face. "Later? Why later?"

"I don't know," I gasp. "I just thought –"

_You're sounding like an idiot, Nora,_ my alter ego tells me. _An idiot. Get it together._

_I'm trying!_ I tell her back.

"Let me put this stuff in my room," Gabriel says, "then we can go. I'm hungry as a beast. Want to help me find my room?"

It's all I can do to stop myself from jumping up and down with excitement. "S – sure," I stutter. We're walking across Red Square. "My Dad signed me in," I tell him, breathless, "so I'm not sure where to get your key."

"Don't worry about it," Gabriel says airily. "I already have my key. And I know where my dorm is."

I almost stop in surprise. "How did you get your key early? I tried doing that and they said they don't allow it."

Gabriel winks cheekily at me, hoisting the owl cage over a low lamp post as we walk. "I have my ways, Nora."

"Want me to get that?" I ask, reaching out automatically for Merrifeather's cage. "I don't mind. Really, I don't."

"Fine, then," Gabriel says reluctantly, and hands over the cage.

I'm surprised to find it light. Feather light, in fact. Hoisting it high, I peek inside. "Hi Merrifeather," I say to the owl.

Merrifeather hoots gently at me.

"Told you she's friendly," Gabriel remarks. "I'm actually surprised she's in such a good mood. Usually she's furious after being cooped up for a while. Must be you, Nora – you're bringing out her good side."

I can't help but notice people staring at us as we walk. I'm not surprised. I understand. Here _I_ am – rather plain looking, in my opinion – walking next to a stunningly gorgeous blond boy dressed in long black robes and carrying an owl to boot. I see a girl openly pointing from across the commons. Gabriel is not noticing the attention he's receiving. Is he always this oblivious?

"Are you from around here?" he asks, turning to me, turquoise eyes sharp.

I shake my head. "Not from Olympia, no."

"Washington, I mean," Gabriel says quickly, sounding agitated. "I mean Washington."

"Oh," I say, taken aback by his sudden intensity. "Yes – I'm from Washington."

"What town?" Gabriel asks quickly.

I stare back at him. "Baring. Why?"

"Baring," Gabriel repeats, ignoring my question. "Baring – I'm not sure where that is. Is it on the Olympic Peninsula?"

I almost want to laugh at his ignorance, but think better of it. He seems in a pretty serious mood all of a sudden. "No – it's closer to the center of Washington," I say. "Southeast of Seattle."

"Ah," he remarks, looking let down. "I see. That doesn't help me much."

I gaze at him in surprise. It's as though he's speaking more to himself than me. How odd is that? Does he even know I heard him say that? I hope he's majoring in psychology because he could use some insight.

"What –" I begin.

"Never mind," Gabriel says, smiling down at me and seeming to snap out of his reverie. "I'm hoping to meet people from the peninsula is all. It's a fascinating place, don't you think?"

"I guess," I say, staring at him. _What the hell?_

A cry rings the air as Merrifeather's cage bangs into the side of a bench. Tensing in horror, I gaze in at the petrified bird. "I'm sorry!" I apologize loudly. "I – I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm so sorry, Merrifeather!"

"She's alright," Gabriel says, gazing into the cage himself. "Just ruffled up a bit, aren't you, sweetie?" Merrifeather glares at him before turning around in her cage to face the other direction. Gabriel sighs. "She does that when she's pissed off," he says matter-of-factly. "Has since she was a chick."

"I think she's adorable," I comment, staring at her fluffy, white plumed feathers. Just as I say this, a lone amber eye opens to glare at me angrily. It closes again and she resumes her stance.

* * *

Gabriel and I are walking to the dining hall. We disembarked only after depositing his stuff in his room – a single, and admittedly much nicer than mine even while it shared a bathroom with four other singles. Merrifeather glared at us until we left, unforgiving of the recent, unfortunate incident.

"Can I ask you something?" I say, allowing myself to ask the question I've been meaning to ask since we met.

"You just did," Gabriel says. "But if your question is whether you may ask a second question, the answer is yes."

I ignore his word maze. "Why do you look the way you do?" I ask, gesturing to him. "The robes, the owl, those bizarre coins I saw... I didn't see anybody else today with any of those things. Why?"

"We live in a society that demands conformity," Gabriel says grandly. "We pretend this is a nation of individuals. The truth is that if you want to get ahead you have to act a certain way, dress a certain way, and live a certain –"

"That's not what I'm talking about," I interrupt. "And I agree with you, but you're – you're _different_. I can't quite put my finger on it, you just are. I want to know what's different about you. Since we met I've been trying to figure it out, but I can't seem to. So now I'm asking."

Gabriel slows and then stops, his gaze finding mine. His eyes are turquoise, like a lush field of green melting into an ocean of deepest blue. I'm lost in the sea of his eyes for a second, but then his lips quirk upward. And I'm lost in the white of his smile so devastating my heart clenches in my chest.

"Do you really want to know?" Gabriel asks.

Staring back at him, I nod.

He lets a long, delicious second pass before he speaks again. I'm okay with that. The longer I can melt in his gaze the better. "Then you will have to wait," he says softly, making my whole body tingle without even touching me. "I _do_ have a secret, just like everyone else. You will have to learn patience before you learn it."

"Okay," I whisper, my heart thrumming in my chest. "I – I will be patient, Gabriel. I want to know."

He blinks once. "Then maybe – just maybe – you will." With that he continues forward in the direction of the dining hall.

For a second I'm rooted to my spot, unable to move, enveloped by the presence of his capture. But then feeling sets in again. I remember my pulse, and I'm able to run after him. I decide that I _will_ find out his secret. I _will_ discover it.

For now I know he has a secret, I know I must know it.

* * *

The dining hall is spacious and inviting. It's divided between a cafeteria style buffet and a sitting area. The sitting area is considerably larger, and now a mess of students and parents are enjoying a last meal together before parting. I don't regret not asking my parents to the dining hall.

After swiping our student ID cards at the front, Gabriel and I make our way inside. Soon he's busy at the salad bar and I'm heading right for the main dish. Yum! Spiced salmon – it looks delicious. Eating here every day is going to be amazing! Loading up, I get a pop and find a table by a large window. From across the room I watch as Gabriel makes his way to the fried foods counter. Moments later he's sitting down opposite me, a boyish grin plastered across his face.

"What?" I ask, fork in hand.

He shakes his head, still smiling. "Nothing."

"No – tell me," I demand.

He glances into my eyes before leaning back in his chair. "You didn't get much to eat," he says matter-of-factly.

I look down at the lone, small salmon filet on my plate. The decision not to get more food had been automatic, an easy one. "Oh," I say, staring at my food. "I haven't had much of an appetite recently. Dad – _my_ Dad – thinks it might be related to nerves or something. Anxiety."

"Ah," he says, his tone deepening with interest. "That could be it. So you don't have...you're not a –"

I stop him in his tracks. "No," I say more sharply than I meant to. "I'm not anorexic or bulimic or whatever the others are. Just not hungry is all."

Gabriel seems satisfied. "They have a good salad bar here," he begins, stabbing his plate with a fork, "I'm surprised. Hopefully it lasts past the parents' visit. My guess is it won't."

"Salmon's delicious," I say, taking a bite. But I don't want to finish the filet. Not because it's not good, but because my stomach is twisting into knots and I feel sick at the taste – no – the _smell_ of the food. Unable to eat past one bite, I lower my fork – laden with a second helping – to my plate.

"What's wrong," Gabriel asks.

I shake my head. "Nothing – I'm just not feeling well."

"Anxiety?" he asks.

_How quickly that became a standard_ , my alter ego remarks.

_Shut up_ , I tell her.

"Maybe," I allow. "You keep eating. I'm fine."

Without waiting for further permission, Gabriel picks up his fork and continues. Now that he's occupied with his food and I'm sitting directly across from him with a good view, I can finally take him in without feeling too abashed.

Robes or no robes, this boy is hot.

Straight blond hair covers his forehead and ears as exquisite turquoise eyes penetrate me deeply, filling my every crevice. His cheeks are round and full and beautiful. A soft nose peeks above staggeringly white teeth and a rugged chest is hugged by a V-neck shirt I can see over the top of his robes. A prominent Adam's apple tickles my consciousness.

He is so cute. No – more than cute. Angelic.

I wonder if he's a senior. "How old are you?"

He looks up in surprise. "Why?"

I shrug, trying to look as innocent as possible. "Just curious."

"You first," he says, a smile curving his lips.

"Promise you'll tell?" I ask, trying to match his playfulness. I'm so bad at flirting.

Gabriel nods.

"Eighteen," I tell him, "Like most of the people here, I'm guessing." I gesture to the room at large with its many students and parents.

"Seventeen," Gabriel says, his smile growing mischievous. "I only just graduated from Magasant in May."

"Where's Magasant?"

"Shit," Gabriel says, closing his eyes and releasing his fork. "Sorry! Forget I said anything. I'm new... not used to being among your people. I – I forget myself. Magasant is nothing – forget I said anything," he says hurriedly, his face reddening. The effect is making his cheeks burn which is making me squirm in my chair. He's so delicious! "I'm already fucking up," Gabriel says angrily.

"I'm serious," I tell him. "I want to know. Is Magasant a school somewhere? _Where_ is it? What do they teach there? Does everybody graduate at seventeen?" I know I'm being nosy, but his embarrassment is only provoking my curiosity. Whatever this Magasant place is, it's worth knowing about. I can tell.

His expression guarded, Gabriel raises his eyes from the table. "I can only tell you so much," he says. "Magasant is here in the United States. North of Boston. And yes – we all graduate at seventeen. Unless you're slow, that is." A reluctant smile returns to his lips and he picks up his fork.

I stare at him, wanting to know more. Have I already pushed my luck? Who cares – I'm going to continue asking questions. "That's what you're about, isn't it?" I ask excitedly. "That's what's different about you – the way you dress, your owl, everything. It has something to do with this Magasant place."

Gabriel stops chewing midway through a mouthful of salad. Blinking, he resumes chewing and swallows, looking thoughtful. "You're a clever girl, Nora," he says, but his tone isn't admiring. It's dangerous. "But remember this – it's often the intellects that are targeted for destruction in societies."

I gape at him. _What the hell?_ What is he saying? "Are you threatening me or warning me?" I ask.

"Warning you," Gabriel says, averting his eyes. "I'm not in the business of threatening Immags. Oh, fuck!" Releasing his fork, he smacks his hand to his brow. "I'm hopeless here!" he moans.

"What are Immags?" I ask him.

"They're nothing," he says angrily, though I don't believe he's angry at me. His tone is drenched in self loathing. "Forget I said anything. Eat your fish."

"I told you I'm not hungry," I tell him.

"Then don't ask questions," he says, and resumes digesting his salad.

Remember to ask him what Immags are again. Remember to ask him what Immags are again. Remember to ask him –

"You're still wondering, aren't you?" Gabriel asks intuitively.

I nod once.

Gabriel sighs. "Ask me later. I'll consider telling you. Maybe."

"Excellent," I reply. "I was going to anyway, but thanks for the reminder."

Looking annoyed, Gabriel starts on a slice of pizza he brought back from the buffet. Silence falls between us for a few minutes while he eats and I think, the length of my curiosity abounding in all directions. But with no answers just yet, I'm forced to occupy myself with other distractions.

Looking around the room I see parents hugging kids, kids hugging parents, and feel an atmosphere of feverish excitement. So many of these other kids are on their own for the first time, independent and free. Just like me. I feel their excitement around me. In me. I know what they're feeling.

I hope my parents have left by now. Is my roommate back yet?

"What are you thinking?" Gabriel asks, gazing into my eyes with the turquoise of his own. "I want to know."

I match his gaze. "Thinking about the glories of going off to college. Of being independent. I don't know about you, but I've been looking forward to this day since halfway through high school. Couldn't come fast enough for me."

"Hmm," Gabriel muses, finishing his crust. He chews and swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing down and up deliciously. "Didn't give it much thought," he admits. "I've been independent since I was eleven years old. Magasant is a – well, a boarding school – I suppose."

"That young?" I gasp. "What happened to your parents?"

He stares at me, a gentle smile spreading his lips upward. "Nothing," he says. "They're fine. It's just that where _I'm_ from, boys and girls go off to boarding school when they're eleven. If they want to. And they always do. When the signs show, you go."

"What signs?" I'm breathless.

Gabriel blinks, and shakes his head. "I've said _way_ too much," he says, staring me dead in the eyes. "Who knows, Nora," he continues delicately, "if I tell you much more I may have to kill you."

I gape at him. Is he kidding? He sounds totally serious. Only his eyes are dancing with humor. Maybe that's part of the joke. I'm mostly amazed – more amazed than scared. Somehow I can't see Gabriel harming me, but maybe that's part of the danger. Part of his magical allure.

Silence falls between us. I stare at him, half amazed and half horrified by his words. Since murderous rampages have become as common in colleges as high schools, one can never be too careful. Should I report him?

Gabriel on the other hand seems completely unfazed. He's gazing around the room, searching every nook and cranny of the place. At one point he almost stands to see over the heads of a group of jocks sitting together at a long table.

"Looking for someone?" I ask flatly, warningly. I won't take any more death threats. One more like that and this motherfucker's getting reported.

"No," he responds calmly. "Just looking around. I want to get an understanding of this place as soon as possible, Nora. I want to know the students here. What they're like, how they differ, what their inclinations and orientations are – that kind of information. I find it... _interesting_ ," he says, stretching the last word.

"Interesting?" I repeat. "What do you mean by that? What do you mean by inclinations and orientations? Like – like _sexual_ orientations?"

Gabriel laughs, a guttural, musical laugh that makes my ears sing. "Not exactly, Nora. No, in fact. Not sexual. I'm interested in their interests and hobbies – pastimes, I guess. But appetites too."

"Appetites?" I repeat curiously. "So," I continue, a smirk breaking across my face, "are you learning much?"

Shaking his head, he gives up his search. "No," he says stiffly, gazing into my eyes. "Not yet, anyway. But I will – I'm a very tenacious man, Nora. I have a tendency to do what I want and get what I please."

"Boy," I tell him. I'm determined to deflate his massive ego, seemingly growing more massive by the second.

"Pardon?"

"Boy," I repeat, staring back levelly. "You're a boy, Gabriel – not a man. You're only seventeen. I don't know how things are done at Magasant, but in the rest of the country an adult is eighteen or older. You're still a boy." I mean this as a joke, or okay – yes, a takedown. His arrogance is beginning to annoy me.

"I will show you I'm a man," Gabriel says, his tone deadly serious even as a smirk overtakes his lips. "And perhaps I won't even let you let me."

There is no mistaking what he means by this, and I feel my whole body clench in tight, agonizing delight. That part of my body – yes, _down there_ – is salivating for him. Geez, I'm already wet!

Gabriel's smirk widens at my stunned expression of glee, and he leans back in his chair, crossing his legs and folding his hands on his robes. "You should be reporting me to campus police, shouldn't you?" he says softly, his eyes never leaving mine. "After what I just threatened to do."

I swallow deeply, my gulp noticeably traveling down my throat. "I'm not scared of you, Gabriel," I tell him, only half lying. I'm only half aware of what I'm saying, too. The other half of my consciousness is telling the place between my legs to shut the fuck up, because it's screaming for him. It wants him. Now.

"You have things to tell me," I continue. "Promises to keep. I want to know more about you. About what you're up to here. Where you're from and why you plan on nosing into other people's business, least of all my own." There. I showed him. If he knows what's good for him he'll back off.

Gabriel leans forward. Turquoise eyes flash dangerously. "I promised you nothing," he says, enunciating the final word. "Nothing, Nora. I don't exist for you to like me. I don't exist for you to tolerate me. I asked for your help paying the driver because I'm unfamiliar with your currency. That is all our exchange ever needed to be."

I don't back down. Geez, I practically need to fan myself right now. He's so provocative! "Your eccentricities are inviting," I tell him honestly. "You can't pretend you don't stick out in a crowd."

"I didn't invite you," he tells me, sounding annoyed. "You invited yourself, Nora. You called after me as _I_ was leaving."

"What's your point?" I ask.

Gabriel raises his eyebrows. "My point, Nora, is I am who I am. What you see and hear is what you will see and hear. I'm not here at Evergreen to make friends and have people love me. I'm here on _business_. This is my job. Being here, doing this. And I'm very good at my job."

I lean forward to match him. "And you will find," I begin, "that I'm very good at _my_ job, which is now to learn everything I can about your job. My business is discovering your business."

Gabriel stands. "I have to leave."

"Wait," I say hastily. "You –"

"I know," he interrupts, gazing around the room as though worried that armed guards are about to crash through the windows and grab him, "but I have to leave now." His hand fastens around the short, thin stick in his robe pocket, then he releases it as he glances back at me, suddenly nervous. "We can talk later, Nora."

"I don't have your number," I say hurriedly, standing too. "Give it to me and I'll send you a text."

"I don't have a phone," Gabriel tells me, his mischievous smile returning. "Don't worry, I'll find you." Before I can say another word he's gone. Dispatched like black robes caught in a high wind.

* * *

I'm walking back to my dorm. The sun is setting fast into a multicolored sky. My brain is whirring crazily, trying to remember everything Gabriel told me. I can't figure him out. What did he mean by "I will find you?" How can he? True, a school of five thousand students isn't the biggest ever. But it's still hard to find somebody without a cell phone number. I'm baffled by Gabriel.

And his arrogance! What gives him such a big head? Sure, he's pretty – okay fine, _stunningly_ pretty – but is that enough to warrant such self confidence? Maybe for boys it is. For girls it's definitely not. I find myself agitated and annoyed by Gabriel's command over my feelings.

Geez, I just met the boy and I'm already a mess. Well, not quite a mess. But pretty hot over him. My wayward thoughts stemming through my brain, I walk back to dorm building C and up to the third floor and into my room.

I'm relieved to find Mom and Dad left. I knew they would by now, of course, but there's always that lurking worry they may be just around the corner. They're gone for good it seems – for three months, anyway. Despite my wanting them to leave, my heart twists at the thought. Three months. My stomach twists at exactly the same time and luckily the pain distracts me from my feelings.

I wince as I open the door to my room.

"Hi," says a voice.

Walking inside, I see a thin girl with bobbed hair and glasses sitting on the bed opposite mine. A MacBook Air is open on her crossed legs. "Hi," I say in return, smiling happily at my new roommate. I'm glad to have a real, solid distraction from thoughts of Gabriel for at least a few minutes.

## Chapter Two

"I'm Kiri," says Kiri, stretching out a hand. "Nice to meet you roomie."

I shake her hand. It's warm. "I'm Nora."

I know we'll get along great. We're just past introductions and I already know it. It's my intuition, and my intuition is usually right. Hopefully it'll help me with Gabriel. _Shit!_ I'm supposed to be taking a break from thinking about him. So much for that...

"I was so relieved when I saw this," Kiri remarks, gesturing to my crate full of books. "A reader is my kind of person, and you've got some good stuff here. Er – I only peeked, I swear! Books say so much about their readers."

"I know what you mean," I respond. "You can borrow any of them whenever you like. God knows I'll be too busy reading textbooks to get into any of them, but still. Had to bring them. It was..." I trail off, looking for the right phrase.

"Wishful thinking," Kiri chimes in, smiling under her glasses.

"Yes," I say, beaming back.

Geez, we're already finishing each other's sentences.

Putting her MacBook Air aside, Kiri stands before digging through the crate. "I saw you had..." Boy, she must have really dug deep. But I don't mind. I'm delighted with my new friend. "Here it is!" she says. She pulls forth _Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant_. "I've wanted to read this forever!"

"Take it," I tell her. "It's a really good book. I've already read it, but I was thinking about reading it again. You know, instead of studying."

She points to the shelf above her desk where a row of books is neatly organized. "Feel free to take any of mine. I'm in the same boat, I've already read about half of them. But – I don't know – couldn't be without them I guess." She shrugs disarmingly at me, her eyes twinkling behind glasses.

* * *

I awake the next morning to rain. I hear it pattering lightly on the window. Blinking my sticky eyes, I turn over in bed to face the room. Kiri is already gone, dispatched into the new day. Panic striking me, I glance at my alarm clock before realizing it's not set up yet. I jump out of bed and grab my phone

Phew! It's only 8:07. My first class isn't until 10:00. Close one – well, not really. I have plenty of time. But not enough to go back to sleep. Staring around, I realize how little unpacking I've done so far.

Besides my mother making the bed and my father setting up everything involving a plug, nothing is unpacked. I meant to unpack last night after dinner with Gabriel, but Kiri and I got lost in conversation until the day was done. She's such a cool person. We're going to be great friends. I just know it.

Grabbing my toiletries bag, I go to the bathroom. Once there, I can't help but sigh into the mirror. A train wreck is more appealing. My hair is a mess and my eyes are too bright, looking fevered.

Gently, I put in my contacts. This is a routine I keep every night and morning – take them out, put them in, respectively. Keeps my eyes fresh. My contacts in, the brightness of my eyes dimmed, I take a shower.

The hot water feels so good against my skin, doing more to wash away the emotional mess of yesterday than anything yet. I shampoo liberally and focus my eyes on the faucet, letting the water fill them and clean them. For a moment my contacts blur in the rush of water, but then resume their place so my vision is restored.

I'm one of those girls that must hand dry their hair after every shower. Sorry – I just am. I hate, hate, _hate_ walking around with wet hair. Makes me feel cold. Standing over the sink, I gaze at myself as I dry. Once finished, I wrap a towel around my waist and head back into my room.

Dressing hurriedly – for now it's just after 9:00 – I find my backpack and a few notepads. I'm almost to the door when I realize I've forgotten something. Turning back, I find a bottle of perfume. Spraying myself liberally, I breathe through my nose. Perfect.

I'm gone.

But then I'm back.

It's raining outside and I forgot my umbrella. Despite my relatively early start, time is becoming of the essence. Running down the stairs now, I push open the door and spread the umbrella wide, just managing in time before my newly dried hair is drenched. They should really have an awning.

Walking under my umbrella, I bring my class schedule up on my phone. First up, English 371: Victorian Era Literature. This should be a fun class. Lots of poems and short stories and such. Trying to remember the right building and the right room, I go to the dining hall for breakfast.

As though on cue, once I'm outside the dining hall my stomach lurches painfully. So painfully I grab myself in surprise. Without thinking I turn away. No breakfast for me this morning. All it took was a whiff of eggs and batter for my stomach to almost mutiny on me.

* * *

The classroom is fairly typical, with a podium and white board at one end and a load of chairs facing them. I'm the first one here. I stop in the doorway, staring at the plaque beside the door. Yes, this is the right room.

My gaze falls to the many empty seats. A big decision awaits me. Wherever I sit will not only determine where I sit for the remainder of the term, but may determine my grade. I read somewhere students who sit in the front get the best grades. Those in the back? The worst. Refusing to get too hung up on this, I choose a seat in the middle by a window overlooking a green lawn.

Setting my umbrella on the sill, I sit down, regretting I didn't bring some water or tea. My body could use fluid right now if not food. Attempting to distract myself, I gaze into the rain. It doesn't work. I'm brought back with a stab of nausea in my stomach. I wonder if I should see a doctor. Maybe somebody can prescribe me anxiety medication.

The door opens and another student walks in. I check my watch. It's five till. People are cutting it late. But the stream picks up, and before long the room is filled with the creaking sounds of furniture as people take their seats. I wonder if I'm the only lowerclassmen here – this is a 300 level course after all.

Finally, the door opens and a short, grey, older gentleman walks in with a folder under his arm. He waves somewhat awkwardly to the class at large on his way to the podium. Once there, he looks at the class over the top of his glasses. "No," he says. "This – this isn't right. Everybody up!"

Blinking in surprise, I gaze around. Everyone is looking as surprised as I feel.

"Up, up!" the professor says. "Get all of your chairs in a circle. Spread the flotsam to the side, there you go now," he adds, as one boy gets up and starts pulling his chair to the side. "Easy does it!"

In a matter of minutes we're all up and replanted, this time in a circle. Leaving the podium behind, the professor pulls up his own chair and gestures for two of the students to spread apart. Without hesitation he takes the space between them and sits, a smile making his lined face more so.

"That's better," he says. "I like this arrangement – a circle of chairs. Seems to make students more inclined to talk!" The class nods along with him, waiting for what's to come. "My name is Robert Renaus. I'm the Chair of the English department here at Evergreen. You may call me either Professor Renaus or Dr. Renaus. Questions?"

Silence. People are staring at him, unsure of what to expect. Will he be tough? How much reading will he assign? "No questions?" Dr. Renaus asks, sounding genuinely surprised. A boy sniggers. "In that case, we'll continue to the coursework and syllabus." Opening his folder, he passes a stack of papers to the girl sitting next to him and from there it circles around. "We'll be studying English literature in the Victorian Era – a period spanning the entirety of Queen Victoria's life, roughly from 1830 to 1900.

"It was a time of tumultuous upheaval in Europe – an old theme even then, but what's so fascinating in the Victorian Era wasn't that there _was_ upheaval, but that it was upheaval brought by socioeconomics rather than warfare," Dr. Renaus remarks, looking around impressively. "The rise of industrialization not only decimated the landscape, but also made millions of people into little more than cogs in a great machine. The suffering industrialization brought to England led to some of the most beautiful works the English language has ever encountered."

For some reason I feel alright all of a sudden, my nausea momentarily distracted. Taking out my notebook and a pen, I lean back in my chair and wait as the stack of syllabi makes its way to me.

* * *

The rain has stopped. I'm walking to the dining hall, hoping this time my attempt to take in some nutrients won't be a complete failure. I'm wrong. No sooner do I reach the doors than I turn back, feeling sick. The distraction of class notwithstanding, my nausea has returned twofold. I take refuge on a bench under a tree.

After giving some background on why the Victorian Era was so inspiring for writers and poets, Dr. Renaus went over the syllabi and then assigned reading. By then there wasn't much time left, so we were dismissed early. I almost wish class had gone on all day. Then I wouldn't be in so much pain. It's idleness that allows me to feel it.

I think of Kiri. Is she back from class yet? Geez, she must have an early one if she was gone before I woke. But thinking of Kiri makes me think of _him_ – of Gabriel, and with him I have no answers whatsoever. What on earth makes him so arrogant about everything? And what is he about? He's so different somehow. What I really want to know is how he will find me. He said he would – said he didn't need a number, or didn't have a phone. One or the other. Or both.

Sighing, I try to distract myself from my nausea by gazing around. This really is a beautiful campus. Evergreen State College even has its own beach, a stretch at the base of Puget Sound. Maybe I should go sometime.

_With him_ , my alter ego quips.

_No_ , I retort. _By myself!_

_Ask him out!_ my alter ego exclaims.

"No," I say aloud, unawares.

A loud pop sounds right next to me.

"No what?" asks a voice.

I gape at him. "Gabriel! I – you!"

"Sorry," Gabriel says, unabashed. "I do that – make a popping noise with my lips. Done it since I was a kid. Like this," and he pops his lips, the sound exactly like the one I just heard. "So _no_ what?"

"Nothing," I lie. Has he grown more beautiful in a single day? He must have. But he's no less ridiculous looking.

Gabriel's flowing black robes of yesterday have been switched out for flowing green robes today, the color meshing wonderfully with the blond of his hair and the white of his smile. I gape at the Adonis before me in unrestrained appreciation. Why the fuck weren't boys this hot talking to me in high school?

"Tell me," Gabriel pushes. "I can see you're lying. It's one of my pow – _skills_ ," he corrects. "Telling if people are lying or not. I'm very good at it. I want to know what or to whom you were disagreeing with just now all by yourself." He gestures to the empty space surrounding us.

I sigh my surrender. "Fine," I say, gesturing away my dissonance. "Well, I – I couldn't decide whether I should allow you to take me to the beach sometime. You know, the one right through the woods. Part of me wants to allow you to take me, but my other half doesn't. She's stubborn."

Gabriel cocks his head at me. "Is she? I'm not worried – I'm sure I can _deal_ with her." For some reason, he words make me want to gulp. "I may be mistaken," he continues, the white of his smile disarming, "did I ask you to the beach? Because if I did I have forgotten. Or were you assuming?"

"Assuming," I respond, smiling back sweetly. "It's the place to go here, anyway – everybody goes. And besides my roommate, you're the only person I've met so far. I can't just go asking a stranger. So I guess I'm stuck with you," I say, trying to sound as forlorn and resigned as possible.

"Stuck with me," Gabriel repeats, nodding at the idea. "I like that. Makes me think I can get away with more. Maybe I will."

Oh shitballs.

"You know, Nora," he says, "you can go alone if you must go. I wouldn't want my sad existence to distract from your wonderful day."

"That's okay," I respond, "I'm used to having my day distracted." As though on cue, a stab of nausea hits me and I wheeze, grabbing my thin stomach.

Gabriel's shrewd expression turns to alarm. "Are you okay?"

I nod silently with closed eyes, a long breath expelling from my lungs. "I think so... it's anxiety. I didn't know I had it but apparently I do. Going to school, being away from home for the first time, leaving my parents – something is causing it. I can't even eat. I've tried twice today and both times I couldn't."

"You must eat, Nora," Gabriel says sternly. "You need nutrients to survive."

I blink away my dissonance. "I know that," I say. "But, like, seriously – I feel like I'm going to throw up if I eat. I thought yesterday was going to be the worst, but today is worse. I hope the trend doesn't continue."

"Yeah," Gabriel says, staring into my eyes, "me too."

"At least class was good," I tell him weakly. "It distracted me from the pain for a while. Have you had class yet?"

Gabriel's hands stretch out behind him, resting on the bench and holding his weight. "No. I've got one class and it's once a week."

I thought _I_ was lazy. "Why only one?"

"I only felt like taking one," he says, shrugging. "I have other business to attend to while I am here." Turquoise eyes are hinting at something more, but his mouth isn't following suit. Instead, his hand goes into the pocket of his green robes and pulls forth something that looks like a compass.

"What's that?" I ask as Gabriel opens the device.

The thing looks exactly like a compass except that the needle is a long, sharp tooth. Its bottom, jagged edge is glazed in red. His brow furrowing, Gabriel studies the mechanism. Several moments pass with no answer.

"Well?" I follow up.

He gazes over at me, looking almost surprised I'm still here. "Oh, sorry. I was just studying this."

"I know," I say impatiently, "I was just watching you study it. What is it?"

"A Vampass," Gabriel answers matter-of-factly. "Great for when you're looking for certain types of people. One kind of person in particular, actually. Doesn't work well with most others. A fantastic tool for us who need it."

"What do you mean by 'us who need it'?" I ask him.

"Nothing," Gabriel says quickly, "forget I said it."

"I can't," I respond.

His gaze hardens. "Try, at least."

"Can I see that?" I ask, reaching for it.

Gabriel snaps the Vampass shut. "No," he says, and deposits it back in his robes.

I stare at where I know it's hidden, making a mental note to go through his robes at the first chance I get to investigate this device. Although the first time I may be able to go through his robes will be when –

"Okay," Gabriel says, interrupting my thought stream.

I look up at him. "Okay what?"

"I'll take you to the beach," Gabriel allows, watching me closely. "But I have one condition."

"Of course you do."

"Don't ask about the Vampass and don't ask to see the Vampass. Clear?"

I nod again in ersatz solemnity. "I understand, sir."

Turquoise eyes glisten. "But you can keep your cheek."

* * *

Walking to my next class, I check my schedule on my phone. I have English 103: English Composition, next. The English class everybody has to take if they plan on graduating. This class is going to suck compared to Victorian Era Literature.

For one thing, I'll be surrounded by a bunch of students who don't want to be there – accounting and computer majors sighing their day away. For another, I'll probably have to read the fucking _Great Gatsby_ again. There's at least a 98% chance of that occurring. Screw it – I'll Wikipedia-plot-summary the sucker.

I take a seat in the full classroom, going out of my way to find a chair in the middle and by a window. I like being close to windows. Makes me feel like I can breathe better, even when shut. Students are glancing around with interest, but I'm not joining in. Only one person has the key to my thoughts.

Gabriel came out of nowhere back there. How did he do it? I wanted to ask him but he kept sidetracking me with his boyish charm. I can't let that keep happening. If he begins to think he can control me I'll be a goner. I must keep up. Must stay in the race. He can't win.

_Win what?_ my alter ego asks with a giggle. _Your heart?_

_Shut up,_ I tell her. _Shut up right now!_

A tall man with a short white beard walks into the room. He's nearly bald, unlike Dr. Renaus, and doesn't offer the class a smile as he sits behind his desk. "Bonjour," he begins, "Je m'appelle Dr. James. Enchante!"

Startled, I gaze around the room. Am I in the wrong class? But other students are looking as alarmed as I feel, and a moment later the professors' eyes widen and he shakes his head.

"Desole! Excusez-moi," he says. "There's always one class where this happens at the beginning of term! I come back from teaching in France and the first thing I do is start by making a complete fool of myself. I beg your pardon."

Nobody answers. We're all too relieved we're in the right class.

"My name is Dr. Christopher James," Dr. James restarts. "I will be your professor for English 103. This class is about the basics in grammar and reading comprehension, because if you don't have a solid base with those you won't get very far. The syllabus is available online – I see no reason to waste paper when we don't have to in this modern age. Has anybody read the syllabus?" Not a sound. "I thought not," Dr. James says disapprovingly, "or else some of you are too afraid to speak up. That will change. You _will_ be contributing to our in-class discussions if you expect a passing grade. In any case, the first book we will be reading, comprehending, and then discussing is _The Great Gatsby_."

* * *

It's now evening and I realize I have to eat something. Traipsing back to my dorm, I make a half-hearted stop at the dining hall. To my surprise I actually make it through the door. No fish today unfortunately, but there's pasta, pizza, and Caesar salad. I bypass all of these and head for the breakfast section. Here a tiny refrigerator sits on the counter, its contents a clutter of yogurt and milk.

Opening the fridge, I grab a raspberry flavored yogurt. If I can get anything down it will be this. Grabbing a spoon and some tea from the beverage section, I make my way to a table by a window. I peel off the top of the yogurt container and begin to eat, feeling the soft cultures refreshing my stomach. It's good. Momentarily, my nausea is at bay. Although how long that will last I can't say.

I'm embarrassed to be eating alone. Looking around, I see that everybody seems to have a dinner pal. What am I supposed to do? Go join somebody's table randomly? It's only the first day and yet everybody seems to have made a friend. Sighing into my yogurt, I have a sip of tea. I wonder where Kiri is. Or why she hasn't called to meet up.

_Duh, you idiot,_ says my alter ego. _You haven't exchanged numbers yet!_

Plus I've been gone all day so we haven't had a chance to reconnect. I should ask her to breakfast or lunch.

_Or somebody else_... my alter ego hints. _You know of whom I speak._

Finishing my yogurt, I put it aside and lean back in my chair.

I just don't know. Gabriel makes me feel so many things. Attraction – that's number one. I can so easily see his face in my mind's eye, the white of his smile warming me like milk. Then there's aggravation – that's the other emotion he brings out in me. I'm annoyed he won't tell me more about who he is and what the hell he's doing here. He can't be here to take a _single_ class. I want to know what an Immag is, and a Vampass.

Geez, he hasn't told me anything.

_Not yet, Nora_ , says my alter ego. _Not yet. Patience is your friend._

I think my friend is an empty plate, actually. I know I've eaten enough and I'm not stupid enough to attempt more. A yogurt is enough for me today. I'll try more tomorrow. Leaving the dining hall, I make my way back to my dorm, my head still swimming in thoughts of Gabriel White.

I never asked him what class he's taking. Hopefully it's something he likes if that's all he's taking. Nor did we make specific plans as to when we'd go to the beach. We agreed we'd go but left it at that. I must shore up the ambiguity if I want it to happen. And I do, I really do. But Gabriel can't know that.

* * *

"I had the most amazing day!"

Kiri is leaning against her desk, her bob cut swaying over her eyes. "I love my professors, Nora! My History of Rock & Roll teacher came to class barefoot, Nora. Barefoot! I knew we'd hit it off right away and we did. It's a small class so there's lots of discussion. We were all talking about our favorite rock bands."

I smile pleasantly as she goes on, only half listening. My thoughts are a scattered array of everything – Kiri, Gabriel, class, my dad... _Fuck!_ I have to call Dad tonight. Or was he going to call me? I can't remember.

"I'm a music major," Kiri explains, gesturing to a large case on her bed. "I play the cello. I'm hoping they'll let me into the orchestra. I mean, I think I'm pretty good..." She trails off for a second, swiping her bob to one side, her eyes bright and alive behind glasses. "What's your major again?"

"English," I remind her, taking a seat on my bed. For some reason I feel tired all of a sudden. It's not like I worked hard today. Shit, I haven't even done any studying yet. I can't turn in already.

_But your anxiety_ , my alter ego says. _It's been bothering you all day..._

With some difficulty, I manage to ignore my alter ego and spend half an hour discussing classes with Kiri. But I can't ignore my conscience when it comes nagging so I excuse myself to make the call. I have half a mind to do it tomorrow, but Dad is pretty serious about keeping up consistent contact. Mom, despite her tears, is flaky when it comes to calling.

Out in the hall, I dial Dad's cell. Two rings and an answer like always.

"Nora." Dad's voice is warm. I'm already glad I called.

"Hi, Dad," I say automatically. "How are you?"

His laugh is subtle. "It doesn't matter how I am, Nora, what matters is how you are. I'm not the one away at school for the first time."

"That's true," I say. "But I'm fine, really. Had a couple classes today. I have a couple more tomorrow. Looks like I'll have a ton of reading to do, but nothing impossible. If I manage my time I should be okay. Anyway, how was your date?"

"Oh, that," Dad says, his voice losing its confidence. "It was a date, Nora Rae. I always hated them, even back when your mom and I first started going out. One of the great things about marriage was not having to date anymore." I can tell from his tone that he's attempting at humor, but it's not working. His heart is showing through.

"Is Mom alright?" I ask shyly.

I can almost see his characteristic shrug. "I suppose. Is she ever alright, Nora? Best as I could leave her yesterday. What a mess."

I hope he's talking about the whole situation and not just Mom.

"Why are we talking about me?" Dad asks. "How did this happen? What about you? Make any new friends? What's that roommate like?"

I can't fight off the image of Gabriel grinning mischievously beside me on a bench, the turquoise of his eyes burning into me. I gulp.

"Well?" Dad follows up.

"She's really nice," I say without thinking, my mind somehow operating on autopilot. "Her name's Kiri and she plays the cello."

"Ha, while you're trying to sleep I bet," Dad guffaws.

I grin despite myself. "No – uh – that hasn't happened yet. But I think it would be peaceful. Might send me to sleep rather than keep me up."

"I hope so," Dad says, his tone quickening. "I've got a call coming, I should take it. It's one of my suppliers. Lots of love, Nora Rae. Stay well and study hard."

"Love you too, Dad," I say.

"Oh, and expect a package from your mom and I. We teamed up for once and got you something cool. Treat the package carefully."

Something cool? What could it be?

"Geez, thanks, Dad," I say, winded. "Like – what is it?"

"Gotta run," Dad says, and he hangs up.

Frowning, I gaze at my phone. I'm not even sure where to get packages here. There's probably a post office in or near the student union, I could check there. Or just ask Kiri. Making a mental note to find out where my package will be waiting for me, I go back into my room to get ready for bed.

* * *

My first class today is English 301: The Art of the Essay. This class is going to be work, I can tell. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind writing essays. But it's not like writing fiction, it's not nearly as enjoyable. It seemed like my teachers in high school were competing to see who could put the most red ink on my pages.

Kiri is up and away before I open my eyes. This morning I have less time to fool around. No time for breakfast. I probably wouldn't have been up to it anyway. My stomach is still in knots, I think it's growing worse. Trying not to think about it, I make my way to the bathroom and hastily put my contacts in before showering. After my daily dousing of perfume I'm ready to go.

The rainless sky is a relief, but clouds still scatter the sky and cover the sunlight. Trying to ignore the pain in my stomach, I walk and check my schedule on my phone. Oh good – the building isn't too far away. I'm not sure I'm in good enough health to walk very far, let alone eat anything.

The classroom is empty as I walk in. Once again I choose a middle seat by a window. I'm beginning to get stuck in my ways. I really shouldn't. I'm too young to be this consistent. I pull a notepad and pen from of my backpack. Leaning back in my chair like a high schooler, I wait for class to begin.

The second person to enter the room is a boy – tall and muscular with dark, russet skin. His black eyes match his hair and T-shirt. I'm surprised when he comes and sits right beside me, his eyes never finding mine. Bizarre – the unspoken rule is to give everyone as much space as possible until room runs out.

I stare down at my notepad, taking in the soft parallel lines and the space for possibility between them. On my left I notice the boy with russet skin scratching the back of his neck. He taps the floor with his foot impatiently, his whole body seeming to pulse with static electricity. Restless.

"I hate writing essays," he says, staring straight ahead for a moment after saying this before turning to look at me.

"Oh," I say in response, surprised he's speaking. "You should switch classes."

He shakes his head. "Can't," he says, "I'm an English major. This class is required for English majors."

Geez, he has fantastic, full maroon lips. They're like rose petals waiting to be kissed.

"You should switch majors," I tell him.

"Heh," he says humorlessly. "Would if I could. I'm not good at anything else. I'm good at writing, I just don't like it."

"Oh," I say again, at a loss for what to say. "I – I understand." I don't really, actually. "I'm also an English major. You weren't in any of my classes yesterday, were you? I may not have noticed. I'm not the most observant person ever."

The boy shakes his head. "Nope. I'm only taking one class."

Geez, what is it with all these fucking slackers? Am I the only person on campus with a full schedule?

"Why just one?"

He shrugs, his dark eyes roving over me ceaselessly. "No reason, I just have other stuff to do and stuff. Activities and stuff. You know?"

"I suppose," I lie. "One class sounds manageable."

"Yeah, well," he begins, looking tense all of a sudden, "I'm still stressed the fuck out most of the time. I have other things on my mind besides writing essays."

I stare at him, utterly at a loss. It's official – I picked the school with all the crazies and now I can't leave. Not for three months, anyway. I'm fucked. Oh well – at least Kiri is pretty normal. Or I think she is. No sooner do I decide to ignore the boy for the rest of term than he stretches out a russet hand.

"Wolf," he says, a crooked grin revealing perfect, sharp teeth.

Shaking his hand, I'm instantly stunned by his strength. He isn't even squeezing me – I can just tell by touching him. "Nora Saynt-Rae," I reply. "It's good to meet you – uh – Wolf. That's a strange name."

"Mom had a sense of humor."

"I can see that," I reply.

"It's short for Wolfgang."

A flash of recognition. "That's not so odd, then," I tell him. "That's like a real name. I've heard of it before."

"Yeah?" Wolf asks, sounding doubtful. "Name a Wolfgang."

"Wolfgang Petersen," I tell him, not missing a beat. "I love _The NeverEnding Story_."

"That's a gimme," Wolf says with a frown. "Name another."

_Oh shit_.

I think hard. I think harder. I give up. "You," I say, and I can't stop a smile from splashing across my face. This boy has some serious charm despite my initial misgivings.

_Still_ , my alter ego says, _he's an oddball_.

_True_ , I respond. _A muscular, angst ridden oddball. Hot counts._

"Your mom was right in her choice of a name," I tell Wolf. "Nothing humorous about it. It's a good name."

Wolf's full maroon lips stretch in a smile. "No – trust me – she had a sense of humor. Because, well – I guess I can't tell you that, can I?" he says, almost as if asking himself. I stare at him in utter confusion. "No," he answers himself, averting his eyes to the ceiling, "can't tell her that..."

He's crazy. Goddamn it, why do all the cute ones have to be fucking insane?

The classroom door bangs open and two students enter. More follow, and before long there is hardly an empty seat. A man who looks like a professor enters. He appears to be in his forties with glasses and hair that's still a sleek black. Briefcase in hand, he makes his way to the front of the class.

"Welcome to English 301 everybody," he says, his demeanor demanding attention. The little amount of talking going on ceases. " _I'm_ Dr. Tuten and _you_ are students who are here to learn how to write an essay," he deems, his eyes falling over the class as his hands open the briefcase. "Many of you may think you already know how to write an essay. I can assure you that you're wrong.

"The essay is an art form," Dr. Tuten continues, gazing around. "Get that into your heads because if you cannot, there is very little I can teach you. The essay is the greatest of the forms the written word can take. At once more erudite and concise then the novel and more punctual and realized than the poem, the essay is the finest vessel for any opinion about anything. It is nothing less than the highest, most learned art form humanity has ever engineered. And I will be teaching you how to craft it."

From beside me I hear a loud, unrestrained sigh.

* * *

My next class is History 145: The American Revolution.

It takes me a while to find the right building, so I'm only just on time. The classroom is bloated with students. There won't be any choosing my seat this time. I find an empty chair near the back and wait for the professor. Although technically class has already begun, the professor isn't here yet. Another five minutes pass. People are looking around expectantly, wondering what to do.

A young, teacher's-assistant-looking girl walks in with her ponytail and manila envelope. "Class is cancelled!" she announces, dropping her folder to the table in front and opening it. "Dr. Blakely had to undergo emergency surgery. Don't worry, it shouldn't be life-threatening," she adds, answering our collectively unasked question. "But before you leave, come grab a syllabus."

* * *

Now that I have all my syllabi I can go purchase my books. A nagging feeling assaults me as I make my way to the student union. I _should_ have purchased half of them yesterday. I have reading due for Victorian Lit class and chapter one of _The Great Gatsby_ is also due tomorrow. I don't think there will be a quiz, but there's going to be discussion and I don't want to look like a complete idiot on the second day of class.

My problem is I'm kind of a slow reader. For most people getting through a few poems and a chapter of _Gatsby_ would be easy in one evening. But I like to really digest my reading, to understand the entirety of its composure. Hope I don't get distracted tonight.

Once at the student union, I find the school store and browse the textbook section. Finding my syllabi, I check and double check the required books before pulling them from the shelves. Hmm – I'll get some pens, too. And an ink cartridge.

Geez, they sell televisions here!

_Buy a bigger television,_ prompts my alter ego, _you have enough money!_

_True,_ I agree, _but only if I tell my textbooks to go fuck themselves!_

The great thing about being a liberal arts major is the textbooks are cheaper than for the science, technology, engineering, and math fields. I'm out the door for under $250. You may not think that's cheap but believe me it is.

I'm leaving the store when a thought strikes me. Bag in hand, I turn back to the cashier. "Excuse me. Where's the post office?"

The girl points down the hall. "Down there."

"Oh," I say, "thanks." Turning on my heel, I head in the direction she indicated. The post office isn't so much a post office as a student standing behind one of those half-door-half-counter thingamajigs. "Hi," I say, distracted. The boy behind the counter has prominent ears. "I was wondering if I have a package."

"Last name?" He sounds bored.

"Saynt-Rae," I answer. The boy stares at me in silence. "What?" I ask.

"Which is it?" he asks.

I blink at him. "Sorry, what?"

"Which is it? Saynt or Rae?"

"Oh," I reply, "it's both."

The boy grins stupidly. "You can't have two last names."

"Yes – actually – I can." This isn't happening. I can't be having an exchange this stupid. It's too early for this, even though it's well past midday. "My last name is hyphenated," I explain.

The boy sighs as though I'm ruining his fun. He goes to have a look on the stock shelf. He returns with a rectangular box about the size of a large book. Shaking it, he holds it up to his ear. "Nope," he says, "it's not Legos!"

"Hey, stop that!" I reach for the package.

He hands it over. "Wanna go on a date?"

I gape at him in awe. What audacity! "No, _thank you_ ," I say, trying to sound annoyed. Truth is, few enough guys have asked me out, so I'm ecstatic when anybody does. I slip the package into my bag and head for the door.

Outside the student union are a bunch of round metal picnic tables. I stop at one of these, deciding to put my plastic shopping bag in my backpack for the walk back. Unzipping my backpack, I put the shopping bag inside. I'm tempted to open Mom and Dad's package now, but I put it off. Have to practice patience.

A loud pop sounds beside me. "What have you got there?"

"Ah!" I exclaim, throwing up my hands. Gabriel has materialized out of nowhere. "How do you do that?" I gasp at him. "Are you stalking me?"

"Answer my question first," Gabriel demands.

I gesture my surrender. "Books – they're books, okay. I got books. Happy now?"

Gabriel stares at me, his grin faltering. "You – you're looking very pretty today, Nora," he remarks, his eyes scanning the entirety of my being. "But you're too pale and you've lost weight since yesterday, I can tell. Why aren't you eating?"

Geez, his note taking is kind of creepy.

"I told you already," I tell him, "I'm having anxiety issues."

"Have you seen a doctor?"

I shake my head. "Not yet. I'm – um – getting to that."

"I hope so," Gabriel says, taking my backpack from the picnic table and swinging it over his shoulder. "You have to take extra good care of yourself in new surroundings. Come on – I'll walk you home."

I blush. A boy has never offered to walk me home before. Man, I'm on fire today! Maybe I am looking sexier than usual. I'll have to investigate this claim next time I'm near a mirror. We set off in the direction of dorm building C. No sooner do we start than Gabriel stops dead.

"Or better yet," Gabriel says, his gaze finding inspiration in the dark clouds, "let's go for a walk on the beach. We said we would, didn't we? Might as well live up to ourselves. What do you say?"

"How about another time?" I suggest. "You don't want to carry my backpack all over the place, it's full of books."

"I do, actually," he replies, his eyes staring into mine without a trace of humor. "I really do. I want to go to the beach now, I'm feeling impulsive. I'll carry your bag, and if you're nice I'll let you come, too."

I laugh at his nerve before shrugging. "Fine, have it your way. Sounds like you're used to that kind of arrangement."

"Oh yes," Gabriel says, "very much so."

We set off in a westerly direction toward Red Square. From there I know the beach is due north. Glancing down, I take in my footwear – sandals. Perfect. I'm so used to wearing this red pair that I barely register them as I slip them on these days. I glance over at my traveling companion.

Gabriel is once again flowing in robes, this time of deepest plum. A thin, short stick emanates from his pocket and though I try, I can't distinguish his footwear around his swaying robes. His blond hair catches the light wonderfully as we walk. I'm struck by the effortlessness of his beauty.

"Are you sure you should be going to the beach?" I ask, "dressed like that?"

"What – oh," Gabriel mutters distractedly, glancing down. "It's no trouble. I'm not worried about it."

"But you'll get sand all over your nice robes," I protest. "Let's go back to our dorms and I can dump my books and you can change."

Gabriel smiles his mischievous smile before shaking his head. "Sorry, Nora, that won't be happening." He swipes his blond hair to one side of his forehead as he speaks. "The beach can't wait, Nora. We must go now. I've been meaning to go ever since you've been meaning to ask me to take you."

I frown in confusion. "Why do you want to go so badly?"

Gabriel fastens his hands to the straps of my backpack, his thumbs sticking out in front. "It's not the beach that concerns me. It's the questions I will ask you there."

Oh? Now I'm interested. Actually, I was interested before, but now I'm really interested.

"What questions?" I ask, breathless.

"Not here," Gabriel says, shushing me, "we're too exposed. Wait until we're in the forest."

Reaching the bustling Red Square, we head north. Between the college and the beach at Evergreen State is a tiny forest crisscrossed with pathways. This is my first time trespassing through, and no doubt Gabriel's too, for he keeps looking around as we walk. Perhaps he's making sure nobody is listening.

"How is your search for Peninsula students going?" I ask, trying hard not to sound condescending. "Made any friends yet?"

"No," Gabriel answers as he guides me onto a wilder, less traversed path. "That's part of what I wanted to talk to you about. I can't keep going up to people and asking if they're from the Olympic Peninsula. People get freaked out."

"Can't imagine why," I say, sarcasm drenching my words.

He ignores my attitude. "So I wanted to ask you whether you've seen anything strange recently on or around campus. Anything in the area – anything at all. _Anything_ , Nora." He says this last bit very quickly, as though terrified someone will hear us.

I stare at him in surprise.

_You knew he was crazy and the proof has arrived_ , my alter ego says. _Run for your life._

Gabriel and I are stopped on the path. His hand has found my arm and our eyes are locked. "I don't know what you mean," I tell him, feeling scared. "Why should anything strange be happening?"

"It shouldn't be," he answers. I can see he's let down. Damn, he really wanted my help for a moment there. "There have been reports in the area of – of having issues with... it's complicated," he deems. "Nothing to worry about. Just wanted to know if you'd seen anything. You'll keep an eye out?"

"Yes," I tell him slowly, my eyes never leaving his, "of course I will. Though I'd be more inclined to help you if you'd even attempt to tell me what's going on. What's the matter? What should I be looking for?"

"Nothing," Gabriel says, "it's nothing, Nora. Forget I said it."

"I can't!"

He closes his eyes in frustration. "Try, at least." And pulling me forward by my arm, Gabriel leads me further along the wooded path. The sunlight doesn't penetrate the tree branches here, making the space beneath dark and ambient. "You must have got a lot of textbooks," Gabriel says dryly.

I nod. "English major. Seriously, I don't mind carrying that." I reach for the backpack knowing full well he won't let me carry it.

"No need," Gabriel says, stowing my hand, "let me just..." Reaching for the pocket of his plum robes, he pulls forth the short, thin stick. Pointing it at the backpack, he says "Featheretta!" The bulges near the bottom of the backpack soften and the entire bag seems to lift an inch off his back.

"What did you –?" I gasp, staring at him. "What – _what_ happened?"

Gabriel stares back at me as though surprised I was watching at all. "Oh, that. Pay it no attention, Nora, we have other matters to discuss. I just wanted to make your bag lighter while we walk."

I shake my head frantically, hoping to knock some sense back into my consciousness. Am I losing my mind? Has Gabriel already lost his? What is happening to me – around me? My world is playing host to madness. But I don't have long to reflect on my weakening mental state for we've arrived.

The light growing brighter and brighter, Gabriel and I reach the end of the tree line and see before us an expanse of encapsulated beauty. Trees abound in all directions around the inlet, hugging the water whilst waves wash upon sandy shores, sprinkling our ears with the sound of eternity.

Gabriel and I gaze silently at the beauty surrounding our steps, our solitary thoughts forgotten. Then he starts walking out toward the water. I follow him. His long plum robes billow behind him as he walks, their folds caught in a high wind. Gabriel is staring off in the direction of the horizon.

I join him. "It's stunning."

"Yes," he agrees, pointing off to where the water disappears. "See there, Nora? That's where Puget Sound pours down into here – into Eld Inlet. Makes for a quiet getaway, doesn't it? It would be great to have a cabin here," he continues conversationally, smiling into my eyes. "So beautiful."

"True," I agree. "But then there'd be a cabin here."

Turquoise eyes regard me. "I like you, Nora," he says, surprising me. "You amaze me. You have so much depth and character for an Immag."

What the fuck?

"Thank you," I say, not sure I was even complimented. "What's an Immag again?"

He reveals white in a smile. "I can't tell you what an Immag is _again_ if I didn't tell you what an Immag is to begin with."

"You know, I'm getting tired of your word games," I tell him. "Why can't you just say something certain for a change, or answer one of my freaking questions! What the hell is an Immag, Gabriel?"

Unable to stow his grin, Gabriel swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "You're really making me want to tell you. Better stop it."

"I'm serious," I say, "I want to know!"

He folds his hands under my backpack. "Know what?"

"Everything!" I exclaim, gesturing my hands wildly on the beach. "What's happening around here, who you're looking for, who _I'm_ supposed to be looking for, why you dress the way you do, why you have an owl back in your dorm, what a Vampass is, and what the fuck an Immag is!"

Gabriel gazes out over the calm water. "That's a lot."

"So?" I push, panting. "I want to know!"

"I know you do," Gabriel says matter-of-factly. "But there's a problem."

"What? What's the problem?"

Gabriel looks back at me. "The problem is I can't answer any of your questions without answering all of them. I – I'll agree to answer one of them, but I know that answering it will lead to answering more. And you won't stop. You'll keep coming at me until you know everything."

_Sounds about right_ , my alter ego quips.

_Shut the fuck up_ , I tell her.

"Me, come at you?" I repeat, annoyed. "You've been coming at me, Gabriel! Finding _me_ everywhere! I wouldn't have found you once since we met if you didn't want me to. You're always sneaking up on me!"

"Beside the point," he tells me. "The point is it's a slippery slope of information we're on and I can't share everything."

"Why not? What have you got to hide?"

Turquoise eyes watch me carefully. "Many things, Nora. There are many things to hide from not only you but others, too. I could be in serious trouble if I ignore certain laws pertaining to what I'm allowed and not allowed to tell an Immag. Actually, I think I've already crossed the line. But they have to understand, don't they? I've never been among your kind before. I'm alone. Lonely."

My heart of ice melts. "Gabriel, you didn't tell me you were lonely. But I don't understand – what do you mean by 'your kind'?"

Putting his hand in the small of my back, Gabriel gestures me forward. "Come – let's walk along the beach." With the sun hiding behind clouds and the trees waving in a brisk wind, we journey together on the sandy shore. "I'm not like you, Nora."

"I know," I begin, but Gabriel holds up a hand.

"Let me finish," he says. "Yes – I've been lonely. I'm used to being surrounded by my own kind. Not to sound arrogant, but I'm exemplary among my peers. I'm used to their company and praise. Reverence is like a drug, I've been without it for only two days and already I'm depressed. But I can't be depressed. I have work to do here – in Washington. I must finish it before I go home."

"To Boston?" I squeak, afraid he'll quiet me again. "To Magasant?"

"To Baltimore," Gabriel responds, looking at me sideways. "I'm from Baltimore, Nora. I was only in Boston to attend Magasant. You see – well – there's only one school for my kind in the country. That is not uncommon for our wider community around the world. We are a sparse breed."

"What are you?" I ask him, humor heightening my tone. "A vampire?"

Gabriel stops dead, turning to me with his eyes on fire. "No!" he rasps, "I do not belong to that filthy breed of immorals. In fact, I'm employed in no other occupation than the extermination of their race!"

My blood freezes, chilling me to the bone. "Oh," I gasp, "but – but then you're saying vampires actually exist!"

"Exist?" Gabriel repeats, walking again. "Oh yes. Not only do they exist, but we are very close to one of the most vampire-infested parts of the country: the Olympic Peninsula. It's famed for its rabid collection of the beasts. They go there to escape the sunlight that burns their skin. They are why I'm here."

"To hunt them?" I gasp.

Gabriel nods. "To hunt them. To kill them. And they aren't easy to kill, either. They look and act like regular human beings, but they have the impermeability of a rhino. I would've liked assistance here, but my kind isn't supposed to go around in large numbers or else we'll be noticed. So I'm here alone."

I blink at him in confusion. "How will you fight them?"

Gabriel stares at me for a second before smiling wickedly, his turquoise eyes shining from beneath his mop of blond hair. "I have a secret weapon, Nora. My entire existence is a secret weapon."

"What's your weapon?"

He snorts. "I just told you, Nora. Me. I'm the secret weapon."

I rephrase the question. "Fine, then. What are _you_?"

Stopping on the beach, Gabriel stares unflinchingly into my eyes. "I _will_ tell you, Nora. But you must swear to keep my secret hidden. Do you swear?"

Excitement is pinging inside my head. "I swear!"

Gabriel closes his eyes. "Nora, I'm a wizard."

## Chapter Three

"A what!"

"Shh!" Gabriel shushes me. "Not so loud!"

I stare at him. "A wizard? You can't be! They don't exist!"

"They do exist," he says, "I'm proof." Reaching for the thin stick in the pocket of his robes, Gabriel pulls it forth. "Bloomio rosa," he murmurs, pointing it at my hand.

Scared, I gaze in shock at my hand. Except it's no longer just a hand, but a hand holding roses. Three stalks, each without thorns and all with glistening white buds. I stare in amazement at the flowers before looking back at Gabriel. "This is terribly unnatural," I say to him, my heart thrumming in my chest.

Gabriel takes a step closer, the turquoise of his eyes sweeping me. "Terrible – okay, that's a fair assessment," he says. "But unnatural? You're cruel to say so, Nora. I didn't have you pegged as cruel."

"You don't have me pegged at all," I tell him, gazing down at the delicate white buds. "I knew something was wrong with you. Something major. Life altering. I couldn't figure out what it was. Geez, you're a wizard, Gabriel. A real wizard. How did I not guess that right away? I should have figured it out."

"Should you have?"

"I'm being sarcastic," I say, gazing into his eyes and regretting my words. "I – I'm not usually sarcastic."

"Maybe you're scared," Gabriel says, his body so close to mine I can feel the electricity coming off his skin.

I roll my eyes. "What – scared of you?"

He nods once, his body tense and serious.

Boy does he have intuition. I am scared, actually. But I'd never admit it.

"Nah," I say, trying to sound careless, "I'm just surprised. I was brought up in a world where wizards and magic don't exist. Now you're here turning everything upside, upside – upside down..." His proximity is alarming me wonderfully, warming my body and interrupting my words. Those soft red lips are so close.

Closing his eyes, Gabriel leans in close, then opens them again. "You _should_ be scared," he tells me quietly. "You're human, Nora, only human. I could kill you so easily," he says, his turquoise eyes glistening with humor. Absentmindedly he begins to twirl the stick in his hand.

Hiding my disappointment that he spoke instead of acted, I take a step backwards, gesturing to his stick. "That's your wand, I suppose."

"College is serving you well."

"Shut up," I say, a reluctant smile breaking across my face. "I think we've already agreed that I'm the sane one here so _I'll_ be making fun of you, not the other way around. You're the one playing with sticks."

Edging around me on the beach, Gabriel pokes my bottom with his wand. "Off you go then," he says. Without seeing his face I can hear his smirk. "I'll be right behind you playing with sticks." Boy does this boy have a stick up his ass. "Faster," he demands as I walk in the direction we came, "we don't have all day."

"We do, actually," I contradict. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

Gabriel matches his pace with mine again. "I'm not," he says, "I want to make sure you get your studying done like a good student."

_Oh fuck!_ My studying! I'm supposed to be reading _The Great Gatsby._

"I don't want you to fail," he adds. "Not on my account."

As we leave the sandy shore, I can't help but chance a backward glance. The sun is beginning to set behind the clouds, turning everything pink. The effect above the water is stunning. What an oasis – this tiny beach nearly hidden from the world. I promise myself I'll return with Gabriel.

"What?" Gabriel asks as we walk among trees.

Swiping brown hair over my ear, I return his gaze. "I'm still wondering what an Immag is," I tell him.

"You're an Immag," he says, his hands collected around his back under my backpack. "An Immag is a non-magic person, Nora. Most people are Immags. The magical population is only a fraction of the Immag population. Long ago, the opposite was true, but magic has slowly been dying out."

"When will it –"

"Not for a long time," Gabriel adds, answering my unfinished question. "By _slowly_ , I mean over thousands of years. I doubt magic will ever truly die, but it'll dwindle as time goes on. Especially in the United States."

"Why especially in the United States?"

He swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "It's complicated. Well, maybe not that complicated. Wizards are allowed to marry and enter into relationships with other magical people. But there is a school of thought that says magic people should never enter into marital or sexual relations with Immags. This movement – called the Puridite Movement – has taken over in the United States. It's actually illegal in America for a magical person to love an Immag."

"Illegal!" I exclaim. "Why? Who would stop you?"

Turquoise eyes regard my interest. "We magical people have leaders, Nora. We have government. Like in the Immag world, each country has its own slightly different way of going about things. In the United States, the Bureau of Magic is the powerhouse. They employ thousands of wizards and witches in every category of work – teachers, law enforcement, criminal justice, health, and beast control. I'm in the last category. I'm a Releaser."

"A –" I begin.

"Vampire killer," Gabriel says, answering me. "My expertise is in finding and killing vampires. I know how to recognize them, where they live, how they think, how they hunt, and how to hunt and kill _them_. It's my profession." The pride with which he says this startles me for a second.

I have to keep my cool. "You're a new hire?"

Gabriel bats at a passing tree as we walk along the darkening path. "I was hired in August. Top grades at MSM – that's Magasant School of Magic. Did two internships with the Bureau of Beast Control – that's a subdivision of the Bureau of Magic – and finished my advanced coursework over the summer. Now I'm here in Washington."

"To hunt vampires," I state.

"To kill them," he corrects. "Speaking of which..." Stopping on the path, Gabriel reaches into the pocket of his plum robes and pulls forth the compass look-alike device I'd seen yesterday. Flipping it open, he studies it.

"The Vampass," I realize, "shows you where the vampires are."

He nods absentmindedly as he stares at the single, sharp tooth occupying the place where the needle would usually be. It's spinning. "Exactly," he says finally. "But I think this one might be broken. It's been acting up on me. They told me it was used but didn't say anything about it being broken. Funny – they go through all the time and money of the interview process, find the perfect candidate for the job, pay me a huge salary, and then fail to provide me with working equipment."

"Can't you fix it? With your wand?"

A short laugh. "Not exactly, Nora. It takes a trained engineer wizard to make and fix devices this complex. Vampasses are terribly expensive to fix let alone when buying new, which explains why the Bureau gave me a broken one." Sighing, he stows the Vampass back in the pocket of his robes. "So much for that. I'm on my own."

"I'll help," I tell him, trying my best to sound serious. "I'll help you find the vampires. We can hunt them together."

I expect Gabriel to burst out laughing at this before telling me how useless I am. Expect him to call me an Immag. Instead, he fixes me with a completely serious expression and asks, "Do you really want to?"

I mouth wordlessly for a second before finding my voice. "I – uh – yes!"

His turquoise eyes are searching mine for self doubt. I'm probably showing some. "Fine," he says softly, "you can come. Tell me what your schedule's like and we shall go hunting. I have to warn you, though," he adds, his tone gaining weight, "this is a very dangerous undertaking. You may die, Nora, especially in your weakened condition – being an Immag, I mean." There it is.

"I want to do it," I say, my voice finding confidence. "I really do."

He guides me forward along the path. "We'll see how long your enthusiasm lasts," he says, that impossibly mischievous smile returning to his face. "Personally I don't think humans are meant to fight vampires. They mean to eat you. And I mean to kill them."

The trees beginning to thin, Gabriel and I catch a glimpse of the edge of campus. When we finally leave the tree fringe and settle on the walkway again, I can't help but look down at Gabriel's dirty, sandy, disheveled robes now twisting around his feet. What a mess. How does he not mind?

"Wish you'd changed now?"

He looks confused for a second. Then looks down. "Oh," he says, as though realizing how dirty his beautiful plum robes have become for the first time. "No problem." Whisking out his wand, he taps the side of his sleeve once. "Amendi," he says. At once his robes drape anew around him with a gush of warm, scented air – stunningly clean. Cleaner than before we left for the beach.

Reaching out my hand, I touch the arm of his robes. It's warm and wonderful, as though freshly washed and dried. "It's not fair," I say, looking up into his grinning face. "It's not, Gabriel. Why can't I do this? Your life must be so easy all the time. Magic brings everything, doesn't it?"

Gabriel's grin falters and dies, replaced with look of deep sadness. "It doesn't," he says quietly, his hand stowing his wand. "It doesn't bring everything, Nora. Magic can't – can't bring some things... back." I'm startled to see turquoise eyes glisten.

Oh geez, is he crying?

The next moment I'm convinced it's a mirage. "Let's go," Gabriel says, and guides me forward, this time in the direction of Red Square. "You need to be studying and I need to be...doing other things." Curiously, I gaze over at him. But there's no sign of his momentary lapse.

"How's Merrifeather?" I ask.

"She's fine. Not thrilled with the new surroundings, I suppose. There are plenty of mice and squirrels around campus, but Merri is an unusual owl. She likes to hunt during the day, but since we've been around so many people I can only let her out a night. She's not happy with me at all." He sighs, gazing up at the clock tower of the Daniel J. Evans library. "It's getting late."

"I know," I reply, guilt stabbing me. I have so much reading due tomorrow!

"I assume you haven't eaten dinner," Gabriel says knowingly.

I shake my head. "No – my appetite for food hasn't changed since I got here. Anyway, I should be studying. I have so much reading due for tomorrow and both professors hinted at in-class discussions."

"Uh oh," Gabriel says. "You're fucked, aren't you?"

"Not yet," I reply, reaching for my backpack. "I can take that. Thanks for carrying my books so long."

"Sure thing," he says, slipping the backpack off the plum shoulder of his robes and handing it to me.

I'm stunned to find it weightless. Not light – not lighter than before – _weightless_. I gasp my astonishment and stare at Gabriel, who's grinning madly. He knew this was coming. My ignorant surprise.

_Boy is he charming_ , my alter ego says.

_Yes_ , I reply to her, _but charming boys are dangerous._

Strapping on my feather light backpack, I say to Gabriel, "I suppose you should take the charm off this bag."

He dazzles me with the white of an unrestrained smile. "Why?"

I can't think of an answer so I smile it. "Good point – this is better. I have so many books this term. I was planning on taking the ones I need each day, but now I can carry them all with me everywhere."

"Indeed," Gabriel responds. "Put them all in there and don't open the damn thing till the end of term. It'll be great fun."

"I didn't mean I won't study!"

"Of course you didn't," Gabriel says. "Now go study! I expect your backpack won't slow you down. But one last thing," he adds as we reach the center of Red Square. "Magic may bring some things," he says, gesturing to my backpack, "but not everything, Nora. Not even close. Never forget it."

* * *

Kiri is sitting at her desk when I walk into our room. She turns around in her chair to face me, her glasses lopsided. "There you are! I was wondering where you were all day. I was going to ask you to dinner but when I got back from class you weren't here."

"My bad, Kiri," I tell her, shrugging off the backpack and laying it on my bed. Despite its weightlessness it does not float, thank heavens. "I was out with a friend. We went for a walk on the beach through the forest."

"Guy friend?" Kiri asks with interest.

I nod once, unable to stop the enormous grin from spreading across my face. "I'm afraid so," I tell her. "He's really nice – err, most of the time. His name is Gabriel and he's a – well – he's... different." I have to remember the promise I made Gabriel swearing I wouldn't tell anybody. I'm assuming that includes the first person I meet.

"Is he cute?" Kiri asks with a squeak.

I nod again. "Very – blond, very blond – with gorgeous turquoise eyes and a strong figure. I don't know what the hell he's doing with me," I add, feeling very insecure all of a sudden.

Kiri scoffs, cocking her head. "What kind of talk is that? If he likes you it's for a reason. The first mistake girls make with guys is they doubt themselves. We shouldn't do that. Guys don't doubt themselves. Somewhere there's a three-headed leper that'll accept no one less than Angelina Jolie."

I giggle despite myself. Relaxing, I sit down beside my backpack. "I suppose you're right. To be honest though, I'm not even sure he's interested in me that way. He – he seems to want to be my friend. That much I'm reasonably sure of. But I can't guess as to what else he's feeling."

Getting up, Kiri turns her desk chair around to face me and sits again before saying, "Some guys need to be told what they're feeling."

I raise my eyebrows. "Oh?"

"I'm serious," she continues, "Some guys have so little intuition they need help figuring out their feelings, especially about girls. Some have no self knowledge whatsoever. I don't know why I keep dating those types," she adds, tugging at the stringy bracelets on her arm. "Perhaps I'm not the one to talk."

"No, it's fine," I tell her, "I can use some advice. I – uh – I don't have a lot of experience with guys to tell the truth. I never really got around to having a boyfriend in high school. That and most of them were idiots. Not all, but most. Or maybe I was just too insecure to approach any of them."

Geez, we're having like a real conversation now. That was fast.

Kiri nods seriously, her torso leaning forward over her crossed legs. "I know all about insecurity," she says grandly. "Been there done that. But insecurity only leads to more insecurity – insecurity in relationships. Had I been braver, more myself, more realized, more something in high school, I think I would have avoided some of the bad relationships I experienced."

"How bad?" I ask her.

She shrugs. "Most of the guys were older – in college. Most seemed to think I was more enraptured by them than I actually was. That led to some problems. I had the nerve to demand reciprocation in the relationship. You know – some standards any girl should expect from a reasonable boyfriend. That ended many relationships," she says, her tone etched with satisfaction.

I watch her dumbly as she stands and goes to the mini fridge. Opening it, she pulls out a bottle of chilled champagne. Setting it on the desk, she retrieves two flute glasses from the desk drawers. "A little something to celebrate our first couple days of college, and our new friendship."

"I don't drink," I say hastily.

"Yeah you do," she replies.

I gesture my surrender. "Oh, okay."

Geez, peer pressure is tough.

Undoing the cage around the cork, Kiri pops the bottle and fills our glasses. Handing me mine, she raises her own. "To four years of fun, good grades, and good times," she says loftily. "May the fun never stop, the job offers never end, the grades never falter, and the good times roll."

"Cheers," I say, clinking my glass against hers.

Oh geez, here it is – my first taste of alcohol.

Lifting the glass to my lips, I drink. Chilled and cool, the liquid washes over my tongue, at once both sweet and sour. It's delicious and fruity, leaving a zingy, bubbly taste in the back of my mouth. "This is really good," I say in surprise, holding my glass high and gazing at it. "Alcoholism makes sense now."

"Doesn't it?" Kiri says with a giggle, sipping from her own glass.

Drinking more, I gaze sideways at my backpack.

_Oh fuck_!

I'm supposed to be studying. Brushing up on the introduction to Victorian Era Literature and reading the first chapter of _The Great Gatsby_. I totally forgot, and now I'm imbibing alcohol. This is not going to end well.

"Get your books?" Kiri asks.

I set my glass on my bedside table. "Just today. Want to see them?"

"Yes!" Kiri exclaims. "Lemme see!"

Grinning at her outburst, I pull my backpack to me and unzip the top. Hoisting out the bag from the school store, I dump its contents on my bed. Standing, Kiri comes to the bed to get a closer look.

" _Victorian Era Literature_ ," she reads off the cover. "Sounds pretty cool. Let me see – _The American Revolution_ , _1776_ by David McCullough, _Common Sense_ by Thomas Paine, _The Federalist Papers_ , _The Great Gatsby_ by F. Scott Fitzgerald, and _The Essay: An Art Form_ by Everett Smith. That's a lot of reading to do," she observes.

I nod, feeling daunted. "I know. I should be studying right now."

"What – for tomorrow?"

"Yes," I answer, feeling ashamed.

"Well that's not happening," Kiri says. "You're drinking and talking to me right now. Get up early and do it. What time is your first class?"

"10:00am," I answer.

"That's plenty of time!" Kiri scoffs. "Get up at 7:00 and make it happen."

I'm not feeling confident in my ability to get up that early. "I suppose I could," I say obligingly, "so long as we don't stay up too late, Kiri. I want to get off to a good start with my classes."

As though reinforcing the point, I stand up and, stacking my books in my arms, go to my desk and line them up on the shelf overhead. They look great all together like this. Like my own miniature library.

_Don't worry about the reading_ , my alter ego says, y _ou'll get to it_.

_I better_ , I answer.

Sitting back down on my bed next to Kiri, I reach for my champagne flute. Grasping its chilled body, I lift it to my lips and take another long, slow sip. "Do you have your books yet?" I ask Kiri.

She shakes her head. "Not yet. But my professor distributed music composition handouts we're supposed to study and practice. I'll probably go get some textbooks tomorrow or the next day. I'm not in a hurry," she adds, straightening her glasses. "I like to know if a professor really plans on using a textbook before I buy it. With the bookstore on campus I can buy them whenever I need to."

"Good point," I say, "I suppose you –"

"What's this?" Kiri asks, interrupting as she looks in my backpack.

For a moment I'm lost in confusion. I thought I got everything out of there. No sooner do I tip the bag to me than I see the rectangular package from my parents inside. Oh right! I forgot about it. Gabriel has a way of being distracting.

"From my parents," I tell Kiri. "Dad said it actually doesn't suck or something."

Kiri looks up from the bag, her eyes bright. "A gift? Open it!"

I don't need telling twice. I go to my desk and find scissors. Cutting into the grooves of the box, I tear away at the seal and open it. Inside is another box about the size of a book, this time wrapped in decorative paper.

"A book?" Kiri narrates, her tone weighted with disappointment. "They gave you a book as a going away gift? You just got a shelf of books. How lame is this?"

I don't answer her, for a delighted suspicion is filling me. I've complained about wanting something for a long time without having even the slightest thought I would get it – for Christmas, my birthday, or both combined. Yet it may be here. My hands shaking, I tear away at the decorative wrappings.

"Holy!" Kiri cries. "An iPad! They got you an iPad!"

Yes. They got me an iPad.

My desired gift is at home in my hands. I can't read the box let alone open it because I'm so overcome. Closing my eyes, I fight myself to hold back tears.

They're not tears of happiness I finally got an iPad – not even close. They're tears of sadness and love for my parents, for the realization I won't see them again for so long. They're tears of gratitude for all my parents have done for me, for how much they continue to love and support me despite all the trouble in their own – now separate – lives.

A lone tear escapes down my cheek. But I wipe it.

"What's wrong?" Kiri asks, her voice hushed. "What is it?"

I shake my head. "Nothing," I say, "I'm just glad to have my iPad at last. I've wanted one forever."

"What a great gift," Kiri says, her bespectacled eyes still worried. "Wish _my_ parents sent me something like this. Best I can expect is some candy or something. I keep asking them to send me booze but they resist."

I laugh despite myself, shaking my head. "I can't believe this."

"Open it," Kiri says. "I want to see how shiny it is!"

Taking the scissors again, I cut open the white Apple box and pull out the iPad. Removing the safety wrap and the screen wrapper, I turn the device this way and that admiringly, watching the ceiling light reflect off its dark black screen.

"It's so shiny!" Kiri says happily. "Now turn it on!"

I find the charger. "I think I have to charge it first. I'll charge it and then turn it on in half an hour or so."

"Okey-dokey," Kiri agrees.

"I still can't believe this," I continue, "I can't believe they bought this for me. My parents are divorced, Kiri. Neither made much money before the split let alone after. A lot of contracting work dried up in the recession which is bad for Dad, and Mom could only find part time work teaching. Neither makes much money. This," I trace my hand down the iPad's smooth black screen, "means a lot."

"You should call and thank them," Kiri says.

I realize she's right. "Yes, I – I will." Carrying the iPad to my desk, I plug it into the wall, then find my phone.

"Call them now," Kiri says, her tone heightening in amusement, "before we polish off this bottle of champagne. They may be worried to discover it's only the second day of classes and you're already drinking. On a weeknight, too."

"Okay," I say, grinning at her. "I'll call now."

Downing the remainder in my champagne glass, I pick up my phone and head for the door. As I turn to close the door behind me, I see Kiri nonchalantly refilling my glass. Something tells me it will be a late night.

* * *

Next morning I awake to bird song. The sound doesn't help the throbbing in my head. Geez, where did this come from? No sooner do I realize my surroundings than I bolt upright and stare at the alarm clock. _Oh shit!_ It's 9:43am. Class is in seventeen minutes!

Bolting out of bed I dash to the bathroom. There's no time for a shower – just enough to put my contacts in and douse myself with perfume. I straighten my hair with my hands, trying not to wince as I look at myself in the mirror. Not a pretty sight.

My fast movements aren't helping my throbbing head. Worse still, I don't have any Advil or Excedrin to get rid of it. I'm glad my appetite has dried up or else I'd be starving, too. I don't need another problem to deal with. Dashing back to my room, I snatch up my backpack and run for the door.

Before leaving I notice my iPad. It's been plugged in overnight. Perhaps that's not good for it. Just in case, I unplug it from the wall and leave. Practically throwing myself down the staircase, I check my watch. It's 9:52!

The problem is I don't want to run. My head is pounding and speed and exertion aren't going to help. I'm just going to be late – oh well. Hopefully I won't be the only one. Surely another student will have given in to the allure of some partying. Those literature students seemed pretty chaste, like me. Until last night, anyway.

I'm glad my backpack is weightless. I wondered whether Gabriel's magic would re-up today, or even whether it had all been a crazy dream. My weightless bag is pretty substantive evidence to the contrary.

* * *

I manage to get through Victorian Era Literature class without having to suffer ignorantly through a class discussion. Turns out Dr. Renaus wanted to discuss the finer points of a few of the pieces rather than go into holistic detail.

Later I am not so lucky. By the time class is over my head and stomach are in so much pain – my head from my unrelieved hangover and my stomach from my amped anxiety – that I can hardly think let alone study. The pain is distracting. Passing the dining hall, I wince at the thought of food.

A guilty voice tells me to whip out _The Great Gatsby_ and study all I can before English 103 begins. I can't bring myself to do it. Instead, I sit on a bench and grasp my head. The pain is terrible.

I get it now. This is why some people abstain from drinking – not just on school and work nights, but always. I understand. The throbbing in my brain is excruciating, the torment complete. How can something so delicious bring something so awful? I won't be so rambunctious again. I've learned my lesson.

When it's time, I make my way slovenly to English 103: English Composition. The class is less animated today, the excitement of the first day having worn off. Most students have their copy of _Gatsby_ open on their desks, a sight that curdles my stomach even further as I make my way to my seat.

"Good afternoon," Dr. James says as he opens his briefcase. "Let's see if I can remember which language to speak today." He looks around as though expecting appreciative laughs. None come. Recovering, he pulls his copy of _Gatsby_ from the briefcase and lays it on the desk before sitting down.

" _The Great Gatsby_ ," Dr. James says unnecessarily, "Widely considered the greatest novel of the 20th century. Greatest _American_ novel of the twentieth century, that is. It was published on April 10th, 1925. F. Scott was not thrilled with the title," Dr. James continues, "and kept changing it. But by the time he decided on the perfect title it was too late, and the masterpiece would be called _The Great Gatsby_ for time immemorial."

_This is good_ , my alter ego tells me. _The more he talks the less you have to._

_Ideally_ , I respond, _but I don't speak luck._

Shame on me, because I have read this book before. But it was so long ago I can't remember any details or names – well, apart from Gatsby. I feel really stupid right now.

_You should_ , my alter ego adds. _You really should, Nora._

Leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs, Dr. James regards the class with interest. "Is Nick Carraway a good person?" The question is addressed to the class.

Silence.

"He thinks he is," says a boy near the front.

Dr. James raises his eyebrows. "Does he, though?"

"He says he thinks he's moral," pipes a girl near the door.

"Ahah!" Dr. James revels. "So Nick is telling us he's moral. Ask yourself this question, though – does his telling us he's moral make him moral? Make him a good person? Mr. Carraway has told the reader he's not only the narrator – of course – but also he's writing the book! Shouldn't that have meaning? Shouldn't that be substantial in some way? What if Mr. Carraway is only writing the book to cope with his feelings of wrongdoing? Or to cope with his being in league with wrongdoers?"

Silence. The students are staring at Dr. James warily, their eyes occasionally glancing down at their books. Nobody seems to want to speak after this most recent outburst of questions. I can hardly blame them. Perhaps most of the students – like me – haven't started reading the book yet.

"I understand one chapter isn't necessarily enough to get a holistic image of these characters," Dr. James states, his tone unable to hide its frustration. "I _will_ be expecting participation from each and every one of you. There _is_ a participation grade in this class, ladies and gentlemen." Reaching into his briefcase, he takes out a sheet of paper. "Let me see, let me see..."

_Oh shitballs_! He's going to call on somebody. This is going to be painful. He better not call on me. I have no idea what to say. Perhaps I could make up some bullshit about how narrators are unreliable, but I might give away I didn't read. How much would that hurt my participation grade?

"Cali Straus," Dr. James reads out. "Who is Jordan Baker?"

_Fuck!_ This is turning into a witch hunt!

"Daisy Buchanan's friend," Cali says confidently. "A pro golfer and East Egg aristocrat. She enjoys the company of scoundrels."

"A fine answer!" Dr. James exclaims, beaming at her. There's one favorite. God knows I won't be the next. "She cheats at golf," Dr. James explains. "She cheated to win her first tournament. Jordan Baker is yet another passive gang member here – not punching people in the face but not defending them either."

What the hell is he talking about?

My head feels like its spilling brain cells from my ears. The throbbing is intensifying, brought on by the stress of class. My stomach gurgles painfully and my eyes are occasionally slipping out of focus. Geez, I hope I'm not going to faint. But at least I'd get out of answering questions that way. I squeeze my head in my hands, hoping my agonizing hangover will go away.

"Let me see... Nora Saynt-Rae! Where's Nora Saynt-Rae?" Dread filling me, I raise my hand. "Excellent," Dr. James resumes, "Let me see – which part of Long Island is compromised of 'new money' as it's called in the book? West Egg or East Egg?"

_Oh shitballs_. I don't know. What the hell am I supposed to do? I can't make up shit or dodge this question. It's too direct. And it's too late to complain of sudden health problems. I should collapse on the floor. That will distract him.

_Oh well_ , my alter ego says, _at least you have a 50/50 chance with this one._

_Fuck my life_ , I respond.

I screw up my face as though trying to remember. "East Egg."

"That," Dr. James says sternly, "is incorrect. Did you read at all, Ms. Saynt-Rae?"

Should I lie? Probably not. He'll start asking more questions. I'm stuck in a quandary, and the only way to escape and get attention off me is to tell the truth. Everybody is staring at me. My face is beginning to burn with the heat of embarrassment. I can't be the only one who didn't read!

"I haven't read chapter one yet, Dr. James."

Dr. James raises his bushy white eyebrows. In a scary way he almost looks delighted. "Ah, I see, Ms. Saynt-Rae. Well, in the off chance you're not alone," and with this he looks around the room menacingly, "I shall ask a question." Standing, he walks around his desk so he's right in front of the class, his brow furrowing.

"Ladies and gentleman," Dr. James announces to the class. "I give you Nora Saynt-Rae." He gestures to where I'm sitting. "She's a student here at Evergreen State College and currently enrolled in English 103 – _this_ class." Students look around in surprise, unsure of what's happening. Geez, I'm so embarrassed. "Ms. Saynt-Rae didn't do the assigned reading," Dr. James adds. "Does anybody know why?"

Silence.

"Because," Dr. James says, answering his own question, "she thought she could scrape by with what she remembered from reading the book in high school like I'm sure _all_ of you did. That attitude will not be tolerated!"

I have to defend myself. "Professor, no! I didn't think I could –"

"Silence!" Dr. James yells. "Be quiet, Ms. Saynt-Rae! Now, why do you think we go through these books _again_ in college? To make it easy for you? No! We do them again because they are masterpieces and you need even more introspection and more meditation on their pages! Ms. Saynt-Rae is being marked absent today, and the next person to cower from reading will be marked the same. This is college – your days of shits and giggles are over. Welcome to the world of consequences!"

* * *

Feeling thoroughly disheartened, I make my way back to my dorm. As though mirroring my mood, the cloudy sky opens and a drizzle assaults my steps. This time I don't have an umbrella. But the rain isn't bothering me too much, I'm almost enjoying it.

I'm also enjoying the fact my head has cleared up, my headache dissipated even as my stomach twists painfully. The one good thing about hangovers is they eventually wear off. I'm also pleased how light my backpack is. Seems every time I put it down I forget and I'm delighted when I pick it up again.

The real treat today is lying on my desk unplugged. My iPad will be ready to play with. I don't know what I'll do first – download apps, buy songs, watch a movie, read a book, buy shit on eBay – there are so many possibilities. It's this generation's airplane.

I'm glad I have my iPad to look forward to given the thrashing I got in English 103. True, I was the scapegoat and Dr. James wanted to make a point, but he didn't have to do that absurd introduction. With my hangover, anxiety, and procrastinated homework, I didn't need more problems today.

Geez, I didn't even shower today.

_Oh well_ , my alter ego says. _Hey, you have a shiny gadget waiting for you!_

_True_ , I respond, _I do_.

Soon I'm back in my dorm and doing what I can to shake off the water. I don't get far before I'm distracted by _it_ – the gadget of all gadgets lying new and fully charged on my desk. Oh my – it's so pretty! Dropping my weightless backpack, I sit down at my desk and reach for the iPad hungrily.

Switching it on, I wait as the logo flashes and the registration page comes up. I put in my information impatiently, desperate to get to the main page. This is so exciting! Now I really have an excuse not to study. Drinking was just a place holder until this baby got unwrapped. I'm there – at the main page. It's so pretty and shiny. What should I do first? I have so many options!

I decide to read a book. Being an English major, this seems a logical first choice. Going to the iTunes library, I browse for popular titles. Same old stuff here for the most part. I switch to the classics section: _All Quiet on the Western Front_ , _Huckleberry Finn_ , _For Whom the Bell Tolls_ , _Jane Eyre_ , _Black Beauty_ , _The Invisible Man_ , _The Adventures of Augie March_ , _Moby Dick_ , _My Antonia_ , _Gone With the Wind_ , _Lolita_ , _The Great Gatsby_... hang on, _The Great Gatsby_! _Gatsby_ is here!

I don't understand why this makes me so excited but it does. _The Great Gatsby_. Here! In the iTunes library. I realize I must download it. Now. No more deliberation, no more hesitation. I must have it. Pressing the screen, I click 'buy' and wait for it to download. It enters the purchases section under books and the iPad lets me know its download status with a progress bar.

It finishes.

I press to open the book. Part of me is thinking I should put the iPad down for awhile, but I know I can't. It's too cool – too addicting. I just can't get enough. Flipping to the first page of _Gatsby_ , I begin to read.

I'm wrapped in the story. It's been so long since I read it I forgot how good it is. This is so much better than I remember!

I find myself reveling in descriptions of the characters, of Gatsby – the wanna-be aristocrat, Nick – the conflicted moral narrator, and Tom – having reached perfection so early in life, nothing else measures up and everything is dull in comparison. Before I know it I've finished chapters one and two and I'm rolling through three. Just chapter two is assigned for next class, but I don't care. I'm enjoying myself too much to quit.

Reading on the iPad is so much better than reading an actual book. How have I never done this before? I must have been crazy. I keep reading until I hear a key in the lock and Kiri lets herself into the room.

"Hi roomie," she says, trailing her cello. "What's down?"

My eyes are having difficulty leaving the shiny screen. "Not much."

"It's on!" Kiri exclaims as she gazes at the iPad. "We must surrender to the superiority of this modern, alien technology!"

I giggle despite myself and with effort finally wrench my attention from the screen. Switching off the iPad, I put it on my desk. "Nothing too modern. I'm reading _The Great Gatsby_. Studying, actually."

Eyebrows rise. "Studying? You get an iPad and the first thing you do is study? You're the alien, Nora." Stowing her cello beside her bed, she turns to face me again. "Have you had a good day?"

I think of Dr. James' harassment. I don't want to sound too whiny to a new friend, but that's what friends do. Share. So I tell her what happened – about my not doing the homework and then getting called out. She manages to look surprisingly not guilty as I describe my hangover and why the homework didn't get done.

"What an asshole!" Kiri says after I paraphrase what Dr. James said. "You don't want a jerk like that around when it's time for grades. We're still in the drop/add period, Nora. You might consider it."

Sighing, I stare out the window into the cloudy sky, still drizzling with commendably wet tenacity. "I don't know. If I switch I'll be behind in some other class and I will have to find the textbook. I think I'll sit tight with Dr. James and see what happens. Though I bet he'll have it out for me now."

"He will," Kiri says. "Hey, want to go to dinner?"

I close my eyes and think about it, but as soon as I do I feel my stomach twist painfully. Food won't be happening tonight. "No thanks," I tell her. "I haven't been feeling well since I arrived. I don't know what's wrong. Dad says it's anxiety. I haven't been able to eat anything. Maybe I should see a doctor."

"You should," Kiri tells me. "Soon."

* * *

Next day I awake in panic, certain I've slept through class. My eyes dart for the alarm clock and I breathe a sigh of relief. I have plenty of time. Geez, it's so tempting to go back to sleep. But I know I can't. With a heave, I lift myself from bed and make my way to the bathroom.

Kiri – as usual – is gone.

For unflattering reasons it's been two days since I took a shower. It won't be three. Putting in my contacts, I gaze with satisfaction at my dulled eyes, their bizarre brightness compromised by the lenses. I take a long, luxuriating shower, allowing the hot water to caress me and wipe away memories of yesterday.

Clean, I towel off and get dressed. In jeans and a flowery camisole I look like summer. Drying my hair out in the bathroom does the trick. Clean and cute, I begin to feel better about everything, even while my stomach pains me. After applying perfume I grab my weightless backpack and I'm out the door, but not before I've stuffed my iPad in alongside my books and notes for class.

I glance guiltily at the dining hall as I pass it on my way to Red Square. I've had two meals in four days. One with Gabriel and one alone. I wonder if they keep track of students who aren't eating. I bet it's only a matter of time before the anorexia police come knocking. I hope they understand. It's not that I don't _want_ to eat – it's that I can't! Physically can't. If I do, bad things will happen.

Walking into the English 301 classroom I see Wolf sitting in the same seat as last time. Bizarre – somehow he slipped my mind. Revelations about one Gabriel White had driven the muscular, russet-skinned boy from my thoughts. In my defense I just learned that wizards exist. That's kind of big. I take my seat next to Wolf and grin disarmingly over at him. I feel ecstatic all of a sudden.

"What's up with you?" Wolf asks.

My grin dissipates in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"You look different today," he muses, his black eyes thoughtful. "Changed."

I pull a hair band from my pocket before affixing my hair into a neat ponytail. I can't help but notice Wolf watching me with interest. Our eyes meet and I blush, although he does too.

"I love watching girls put their hair up," Wolf says matter-of-factly. "The way you do it seems so intricate, so overcomplicated. Yet every girl out there does it perfectly. It's fascinating."

"If you say so," I giggle.

"Morning class," Dr. Tuten says to the room at large. "I hope you enjoyed your single homework-free day till the end of term." There's a collective groan. Dr. Tuten shakes his head. "I'm exaggerating, but you will have an essay due each week. How could you not? This is an essay writing class!"

"We have to write essays in here?" Wolf says in outrage. "I'm dropping!"

I giggle uncontrollably this time, unable to stop myself.

"Show of hands," Dr. Tuten begins, "who likes to work in teams?" Four out of twenty plus students raise their hands. "That is typical," Dr. Tuten adds. "But you _must_ learn to work in teams. Life – when you think about it – is all about teams. Your family is a team, your marriage is a team, your relationships are teams, your corporations are teams, and your country is a team. Acquiring team skills is not only necessary but vital to success. I will require you to work in teams today. Two to an essay – there are twenty-five of you so the straggler gets to work with me. I expect thirteen essays by the end of class. You have an hour and fifteen minutes. Begin!"

I turn to Wolf. "Want to be a team?"

"I was going to ask you," Wolf says.

"Too late," I say despondently, but hiding a grin, "I asked first. In or out?"

Wolf grins, his very white teeth contrasting gorgeously against russet skin and full, maroon lips. "I'm in," he says. "But perhaps I should find an essay mate who understands the intricacies of communication!"

The audacity of his words!

"Fine," I say, faking wonderfully. "Find somebody else. Fail the essay assignment, which you will because you hate writing essays so much. See if I care. Don't come crawling back for my help next time he assigns teamwork."

Wolf arranges his face into such an adorable expression I can't help but grin, despite my trying so hard to keep a straight face. "I was just testing your backbone, Nora," he says. "No need to get upset. It seems everyone else has already found a mate, so now we're stuck with each other."

"Lucky you," I tell him.

Wolf nods once. "Lucky me."

He's so cute! I'm so happy he's with me!

Black eyes light my insides. "What should we write about?"

I'm trying not to look enraptured. I'm failing. "I'm not sure," I say. "Not really in the essay writing mood right now."

"Now you know how I always feel."

"I told you to switch majors," I remind him.

He's frowning. "I told you I can't do anything else."

"You're only taking one class," I rebut.

"Yup," he agrees, "what's your point?"

Sighing, I gaze out the window. The sky is cloudy and dark, the drizzling rain so common in this part of the world seeming ready to pour at any second, unexpected, elusive, devious in its timing. Looking around the room, it strikes me that every other team is knee deep in their essay.

"Why don't we write about –" I start.

"Werewolves!" he finishes, black eyes staring at me hard. "Why don't we write about werewolves?"

"Werewolves?" I repeat in confusion. _What the fuck?_ "I was going to say iPads. I don't know anything about werewolves."

"I do," Wolf says. "You can be my scribe. I'll talk and you write."

"But –" I begin.

"We're already behind," Wolf says, gesturing to the class at large, most of who are paragraphs into their essays. "If we don't get started we won't finish and Tuten will give us a zero for the day."

Shaking my head, I gesture my surrender. Opening my backpack, I pull pen and paper from inside.

"Don't you have a computer?" Wolf asks. "This is the 21st century."

"Yes, I know," I answer gratingly. "I don't have a laptop with me, no. I _do_ have an iPad. A brand new iPad."

"An iPad? Awesome! Pull that out."

I grimace and shake my head. "I've tried typing on its keyboard," I whine, "it's misery. It's okay for short stuff – like a poem or a cover letter – but daunting for an essay. Pen and paper will do."

"If you say so," Wolf says. "Ready?"

Aligning the page on my desk, I write my name at the top. If he's nice to me I will consider adding his name, too. "Go ahead."

"Title," Wolfgang states, " _Werewolves: the Sworn Protectors_."

Writing this across the top of the page, I try hard not to smile. What a disaster my imagination is becoming. Wizards, vampires, werewolves? What's next? Zombies? The funny thing is everything seems possible now. But probably not to the professor. This paper is bound to fail.

"Done," I tell him.

Wolf nods his acknowledgement. "Good – opening paragraph: Werewolves, often considered a menace to the safety of mankind, are in fact a breed of very ancient and sworn protectors of the human race. Our – _their –_ aim is not to be the menace to human society, but to extinguish it. For werewolves notwithstanding, there exists a real threat to the safety and security of human beings."

"This is a joke, right?"

Wolf frowns deeply. "No," he states. "We – _they_ – exist!"

"I don't believe you," I tell him, half lying. I sort of do believe him. After meeting Gabriel, a lot I considered impossible seems possible, as though a fairytale world revealed itself to me. Werewolves seem no more farfetched than wizards or vampires. I am an easy believer these days.

"I don't care if you don't believe me," he says. "Write!"

"Next paragraph?"

Wolf leans closer to my desk. "The threat mankind faces is real. It exists in a single identity – that race of thirsty individuals who feed off their brothers and sisters and christens themselves vampire!"

I gasp involuntarily. Several people look around. "Sorry!" I say in hushed tones to Wolf, who looks annoyed. I gulp hard. "It's just so crazy – all of this stuff. So crazy and unbelievable!"

Wolf is watching me with satisfaction. He says, "You better believe it. Ignorance leads to harm. Don't be ignorant of the vampiric race!"

I nod and stare back at the page, my thoughts abounding in all directions.

"Ready for the next sentence?" Wolf asks.

"Yes," I breathe. I realign my pen on the page.

"As it is the sole duty of werewolves to hunt and kill vampires, they have a tendency to group to areas populated by covens," Wolf says. My pen quickly restates his words on the page. "The Olympic Peninsula, for example, is a part of the country famed for its vampire inhabitants. What is lesser known is many werewolf clans and tribes also populate its temperate, rainy shores and inlands."

Wolf waits for me to finish writing before continuing. "So despite many fevered rumors and legends to the contrary, the werewolf is not a foe of mankind but the opposite – an ally of the weaker race. We – _they_ – have only ever hunted vampires. In the ancient tales, when humans spoke and wrote about their fellows being attacked and bitten by werewolves, what they were seeing was not werewolves maiming humans but werewolves attacking vampires. From afar the two sights look similar."

"Hold up," I tell him, scribbling fast. "Okay – go ahead."

"Conclusion," he states. "Fear is an asset to the human race, as it is an asset to any race whose skin is not tough and whose claws and teeth are not sharp. Fear is the survival instinct that tells weaker races when to flee from stronger ones. But fear can be misplaced. The fear that keeps humans from understanding werewolves is misplaced. The fear driving humanity away from its sworn protectors is misplaced. Posterity dwells not on the side of such rampant misunderstanding and ignorance, but on the side of those who would do well to keep their protectors close. One can only hope with time and grace the human race will come to understand, appreciate, and cherish their werewolf protectors. But that happy time has yet to cross the threshold of existence into actuality."

After getting him to repeat a line or two I'm finished. Rubbing my sore hand, I pass him the paper so he can put his name alongside mine. "Geez, you're a good writer, Wolf. You said you can't do anything else, but at least you can do this well. Why don't you like doing something you're so good at?"

He shrugs. "I find it tedious. I'd rather be hunt – err – sleeping," he finishes, faltering and averting black eyes.

"It's fascinating learning about werewolves," I tell him. "They sound really cool. Sounds like humans should hang out with them more often. Like, when is a human safer then when she's with a werewolf?"

Wolf gives me a wonderfully crooked grin. "Exactly!"

## Chapter Four

Dr. Blakely walks into the History 145 classroom and blinks at the rows of students. "History 145: The American Revolution?" he mumbles, staring from face to face with genuine ignorance. A murmur of accent flows through the room. "Ah, good," he says, and makes his way to his desk.

With wavy, shoulder length silver hair and a round age-spotted face, Dr. Blakely looks every inch the college professor, from his leather elbow pads to his patched briefcase. Setting it down on the desk, he opens it and begins to hand out syllabi. His movements are slow and faltering.

"I apologize," Dr. Blakely begins, "for my absence on Tuesday. Had to have emergency eye surgery. Cataracts," he remarks in disgust, "A symptom of age and looming doom. You must understand."

The class gazes back at him in silence. On one hand, Dr. Blakely seems friendly enough. On the other, there is a somber note about him, as though he was mistreated as a child or else is secretly a member of the Addams Family.

"Welcome," Dr. Blakely says nasally, "to History 145: The American Revolution. This class is about the roots of our country, about its humble beginning. We were not yet states but colonies, not yet sovereign individuals but subjects of George III, and not yet an undivided, indivisible nation but a hodgepodge collection of territories all of whom happened to speak the same language."

Reaching up, I free my hair from its tie. I can tell this is going to be a long class, so I may as well get comfortable. Straightening my hair with my fingers, I curl it around my hand and toss it over my shoulder.

"I trust you've managed to get your textbooks for this class?" Dr. Blakely asks. Students begin looking at each other. Some nod, some shake their head, but most don't answer. "You'll need these," he continues, holding up each book in turn. "They're on the syllabus. We'll be starting with David McCullough's fabulous depiction of the early years of the war, _1776_. Did anyone read _John Adams_ or _Truman_?"

Silence.

"Oh well," Dr. Blakely says sadly. "There's always a chance. In any case, I think you'll like this book. Try not to think of it as a textbook. I don't. I try to choose books that transport you to the time of the subject matter rather than simply listing facts and dates. _1776_ is an example of a transportational book."

A boy near the back raises his hand. "Professor Blakely?"

"Yes?"

"Didn't the traitor Benedict Arnold fight in the revolution?"

Dr. Blakely combs his silver hair with his fingers. "We'll be talking about Mr. Arnold. Yes, he did fight in the revolution and despite popular slander was a great commander on the battlefield. Vastly unpredictable and Napoleonic in his approach to warfare. The details of his defection are complicated – we shall touch on them later. First things first," Dr. Blakely continues, gazing around the room, "let's start at the beginning. I like to ask some simple questions to gauge how much you learned in high school. For instance, who was the King of England during the Revolutionary War?"

Another boy raises his hand.

"Yes?" Dr. Blakely says.

"Charles III?"

* * *

I'm losing weight. I haven't even been near a scale. I can just feel it in my body, feel it in my clothes when I put them on in the morning – feel how the folds of my tank tops and camisoles have more space than before. Feel how everything I wear seems draped over me rather than on me.

In the mirror I don't look unhealthy. I look radiant and beautiful, even while my skin is paler than I have ever seen it before.

It's Friday morning. I have Fridays off, so every weekend is a three day weekend. That's if you count having to do tons of homework as having a weekend. But I don't mind the work. I've wanted this forever – the college life – so I'm not going to complain now I have it. I'm not that petty.

Kiri is gone for the weekend. She left early this morning to go home. What she had planned as a serious party weekend ended up being a go-home-and-get-stuff-I-forgot weekend, which is fine. I'm pleased to have time to do work.

I find myself on a Saturday morning lying in Kiri's bean bag chair. Would it be lying in or lying on? I think lying _in_ – it is a bean bag chair after all. It has a tendency to consume its occupant.

I'm debating whether to go to the dining hall and try to eat yogurt or not. Even the thought of one little yogurt makes me feel sick. I decide against the idea, noting I've been here six days and I've only had two meals so far. Yet I don't feel hungry at all, just nauseas.

Grabbing my iPad, I begin reading again. I've been engrossed in _The Great Gatsby_. I'm more than halfway through the novel. It's so much better than I remember. I find myself identifying with Nick's moral struggles between right and wrong, friends and enemies, and dreams and reality.

I get lost in the novel and end up reading for the rest of the afternoon. By dinnertime I have only two chapters left.

_Let Dr. James get on your case now_ , my alter ego remarks.

_I have a feeling he will_ , I reply. _I'm the scapegoat now. Officially assigned_.

Taking a break, I go to the bathroom to refill my water heater. A kettle with a plug, my water heater is one of my best friends. She allows me to have tea whenever I want it. Without her I'd be forced to go to the dining hall. That's too much walking for my lovely tea. At least I'm drinking if not eating.

Making a cup of my favored Twining's Earl Gray, I sit at my desk and think, allowing my eyes a respite from the iPad screen. I sip my tea and ponder. My brain spins from _Gatsby_ scenes to wondering where Gabriel is.

We haven't made plans to meet again, besides deciding we'd go vampire hunting. I assumed he'd show up again. I assumed he'd find me again in that magical way of his. Assumed we'd hang out.

But it's been several days since the beach – several days too long. Despite his arrogance and reoccurring disdain for Immags and perpetual hatred of vampires, I find his charm infinitely fetching. I picture him so easily swiping his blond hair to the side or grasping his wand in his carefree way.

Closing my eyes, I set my tea on my desk, thinking. What if none of it is real? What if I'm insane or hallucinating? What am I doing spending my first Saturday away from home dreaming of the next time I'll be hanging out with my wizard friend? I should be institutionalized.

Standing quickly, I dash to my bed. Grabbing my backpack, I breathe a sigh of relief. It's still weightless. Gazing inside, I see it's empty. A stab of horror guts me. No wonder! Rushing to my desk I hug an armful of books and lift them from the shelf. Carrying them over, I drop as many as will fit into the backpack. Ready for the dream to end, I lift the backpack. It lifts with my merest touch.

I flush with happiness.

I'm not insane.

Gabriel is real.

* * *

It's evening and I'm walking around campus. The light is slowly dying, enveloped in the distance by the darkness over the trees abounding to the west. Evergreen has such a beautiful campus – tranquil, lush, and green. Making my way to Red Square, I walk slowly, enjoying the sights and sounds of late summer.

The buildings here lend themselves to modernity, their curvaceous structures inspiring new pathways of thought and unforeseen revelations. Passing the college activities building, I glimpse the Daniel J. Evans library clock tower not far away, hanging over the campus like another moon.

Food had been the original plan. Forcing myself to eat. But now that I'm out of my room, my thoughts consume me and I'm distracted.

I reach Red Square – the center of campus. This is the first time I've seen the campus at night. It's beautiful. The surrounding lights seem to echo off each other like the laughs and guffaws of inebriated students in the distance. But here – at the center of this world – I am alone. Happy to be so.

I'm glad I came to Evergreen State College. The choice between Evergreen and University of Washington had not been easy. Dad pushed for UW – his alma mater. Mom pushed for Evergreen to slight Dad. I chose this because I wanted to live in a town not a city. I made the right choice.

"I'm not leaving!" I say loudly to the empty square. Stretching my arms out wide, I twirl around, feeling my freedom. "I'm not leaving you, Evergreen! The next four years of my life belong to you! Please treat me well!" Dizziness assaulting me, I swing to a stop, panting lightly. Geez, I'm out of shape.

"Shouldn't you be making friends instead of talking to yourself?"

I gasp the night air. Somebody is here!

"Lord knows this place won't have me for the next four years. Not for another year if I can help it. But I admire the commitment you just made... I'm behind you, Nora. Won't you turn around and face me?"

Frozen blood filling my veins, I turn around.

Gabriel White is sitting on a wrought iron bench with his legs crossed and his arm resting across the bench. He smiles at me, his wand twirling in the fingers of his outstretched hand. "Surprised to see me?"

I shake my head. "No – well – maybe a little."

"Thought you'd never see me again?" Gabriel asks, cocking his to one side. "Or – perhaps – wished it?"

"It's not like that," I tell him, "I just wondered when."

"Couldn't be soon enough, I imagine."

Geez, he's so fucking full of himself. So fucking arrogant. "I'll have you know," I begin hotly, trying to sound convincing, "I wasn't worried about when I'd see you next in the slightest. School and homework and friends – yes, _friends_ , Gabriel – have kept me busy lately. I've been preoccupied."

"I see," Gabriel says, his brow furrowing. "Well, that's good."

"What about you?" I ask him forcefully. "Have you been making friends? If you're so good at being social then –"

"Of course not," Gabriel answers, cutting me off. "Of course I'm not making friends here, Nora. I have no intention of making friends. My only intention is to murder those who are already dead."

The cold in his voice chills my heart. "Oh, I get it," I tell him. "Vampires!"

"Yes," he answers, his face darkening. "Those monsters who define the abyss of creation. I will be their doom."

Tossing my hair over my shoulder, I sit down beside him on the wrought iron bench. Gabriel doesn't withdraw his arm from behind me but leaves it there – claiming me – his wand still twirling amidst his fingers. Staring into the depths of an illuminated turquoise eye, I'm enraptured.

"What?" Gabriel asks.

"Don't you think you're taking this too far? This vampire vendetta of yours?"

Throwing back his head, Gabriel laughs a high, dark laugh. "Never too far," he says. "Never too much. There can be no quarter offered to those mutants of hell, those walking incarnations of evil. They must die. All of them. Every single one of them. The men. The women. The children. I will not rest until the job is done. I will not breathe until the job is finished. I will exterminate them, Nora."

There's a manic quality in Gabriel I have never seen before tonight. His breath comes sharply, his words crisply, and his single, illuminated turquoise eye burns with strange fires. Looking off into the distance across Red Square, Gabriel swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead.

I'm struck by the majesty of his conviction. By the force of his hate. Gabriel is seventeen, blond, healthy, and beautiful. It strikes me as unthinkable this stunningly gorgeous boy can wish such destruction on others. Even if they are vampires. I don't understand it. Can't understand it.

I change the subject. "What do you know about werewolves?"

Gabriel looks at me in surprise. "Why?"

I shrug, trying to look innocent. "No reason. Just curious, I guess."

"Not very much," Gabriel answers, seemingly convinced. "We wizards and witches in the magical world view werewolves as primal and uneducated. They have no knowledge of magic. They are merely raggedy shape shifters, nothing more. No wizard worth his wand should have trouble killing a werewolf. Vampires and werewolves, on the other hand, are an even match."

"But then you're saying," I interject, "you should have no trouble killing vampires, either."

Gabriel nods. "In theory that's true, but it becomes much harder when they're in their own territory and outnumber you. Outnumbered and ignorant of his surroundings, a wizard can find himself in dire straits. That's the scenario I'm in now. But I'm not giving up. I have a job to do!"

"Do you like werewolves?" I ask.

"They're fine – reasonably harmless. I should like them."

"Why?" I push.

Gabriel glances at me curiously but answers nonetheless. "Because," he begins slowly, "werewolves are the sworn enemy of vampires. Long ago they decided it was their duty to defend the weaker race – humans – from the stronger race, vampires. It was a noble deed but a little silly – to declare it out in the open. Anyway, I share _that_ with them – the desire to make ruin of all vampires."

I'm trying to process this all at once. "So wizards aren't sworn to protect humans?"

"No!" Gabriel exclaims, suppressing a laugh. "Why should we care about Immags? One of your kind put it very well. 'Survival of the fittest' he said. Immags are not the fittest. Neither are the vampires or werewolves. Wizards are the fittest. I may inadvertently be saving Immags through my odyssey to release the soul of every vampire, but that's not _why_ I'm doing it."

"Why are you doing it then?"

"I really, _really_ hate vampires!" Gabriel says passionately.

Daring myself, I follow up. "Why do you hate them so much?"

I feel it – Gabriel's whole body tensing beside me, from his torso to the outstretched arm behind my neck. Seconds pass in which I don't allow my gaze to fall from his half illuminated face. Gabriel says, "I – I can't tell you that."

Silence is the only speaker.

He looks as though he's blushing in the half light. I feel embarrassed too, though I'm not sure why. Gabriel has a way of making me feel self-conscious no matter what's happening. It's his gift.

"Let's go to the beach," Gabriel says.

I'm startled by the authority in his voice, by the lack of a question in his tone. He isn't asking but telling. "What – now?" I ask incredulously, waving around at the lamp lit Red Square. "It's nighttime and dark. Who knows who'll be there at this hour? Anyway, I don't have a flashlight."

Half of his grin is illuminated. "Duh!" He holds up his wand. "This instrument and the power to use it come with advantages. Light whenever needed is among them. Let's go to the beach."

"But!" I splutter, "what if there are thieves or bandits!"

Gabriel roars with laughter, freeing himself to mirth. "Thieves!" he guffaws. "Bandits! What is this, the Wild Wild West?" Gabriel twirls his wand in his fingers before laying it on my palm. "The ultimate weapon," he says quietly, nodding to the wand. "The ultimate destroyer. Nothing is so harmless and so deadly simultaneously, nothing so awe-striking and mundane. Behold the ultimate tool."

"If you say so," I reply, smirking.

He gives me a sidelong look and then smiles, revealing his wondrously white teeth. "I see," he says to me. "But being wrong is something I'm not accustomed to. So we'll say no more about it."

"Fine," I agree.

Jumping to his feet, Gabriel pulls me up with him. In the light of a nearby lamppost I see he's wearing robes of aquamarine. Turquoise eyes shift down to where his wand is clutched in my hand.

He asks, "Do you want to learn magic?"

Awestruck, I stare at him. "I can't possibly!"

"You can," he interjects. "Just follow my instructions. Hold it straight... that's it," he says, cupping his hand beneath mine and adjusting my hold on his wand. "Now, slowly repeat after me – Lumio."

"Lumio," I say, feeling silly but reveling in the electric sensation seeming to grasp me from the wand up.

_Don't fuck this up_ , my alter ego chimes.

_Shut it_ , I tell her.

"Well done," Gabriel says. "Do it again, but this time close your eyes and imagine you're in a dark place. Then imagine you are blinded by light of your own creation. When you imagine the arrival of the light, say the word. Got it?"

"I think so," I tell him.

Gabriel backs away. "Go ahead then."

Screwing up my face, I close my eyes and concentrate on being lost in darkness. Then I'm blinded by light. "Lumio!" I shout. I wrench my eyes open to be blinded by the light emanating from his wand.

"Excellent!" Gabriel says, taking the wand back. "Excellent work, Nora. That was impressive – for an Immag."

"Why do you say that all the time?" I ask him, surprising myself with how furious I feel all at once.

He looks confused. "Say what?"

"Putting Immags down all the time," I answer. "Putting _me_ down all the time. You're always acting surprised to find I can do anything at all. To find out Immags can do anything. We're not useless lumps."

Gabriel looks as though he's suppressing laughter. I wait for it to pass. "My apologies," he says seriously. "I'm genuinely impressed is all. I wasn't expecting you to be able to do it. Or let me rephrase that," he says in response to my furious expression, "I wanted to see if you _could_ do it."

"Why?" I ask harshly.

Gabriel is grinning, a sight making it hard to stop my face from splitting too. He's so cute! "Few Immags can do magic," he explains. "Most couldn't even do that simple spell. No Immag can do the harder spells, but some of the simpler ones – like Lumio – you can achieve. You did just now. I find that fascinating. That's a big deal, Nora. That means that you could possibly – well..."

"What?" Excitement is pumping through me. "Means I could what?"

"Nothing," he says. "Forget I said it."

"I can't!" I exclaim. "I can't forget everything you say! Or even anything!"

Gabriel shakes his head. "It's useless."

"Why is it useless?"

Gabriel looks in the direction of the clock tower. "Let's go to the beach. If you come without complaint I may tell you."

My impatience aside, I feel this is a fair bargain. I shouldn't have to worry about thieves or bandits, being with a wizard. He should be able to keep the worst of foes at bay. We begin making our way to the library and the tree fringe behind it, beyond which lie the many paths to the beach.

"Will you tell me now?"

Blinking at me in the light of his wand, Gabriel looks resigned. "You'll only wish I hadn't told you," he says.

"I'm fine with that." Actually, I'm unsure whether I'm fine with it.

Closing his eyes, Gabriel pauses before opening them. "Then I'm fine with telling you, but you'll wish I hadn't. I – I was about to say the minimal aptitude for magic you displayed means you may have the ability to become a low level witch."

I nearly have an aneurism of happiness. "No way! I'm so –!"

"You're right," Gabriel responds.

Surprised, I look over. "What?"

"You're right," he repeats. "There is no way. It can't happen. Once upon a time it could have. Now it's illegal."

"What?" My heart is falling through my chest. "Why?"

"The Puridites," he answers. "The Puridite Party has held sway over the Bureau of Magic for two decades. They've changed everything. No witch or wizard may enter into marital or sexual relations with an Immag – it's against the law. No Immag may attempt to learn magic – that's also against the law. If you were to walk into the enrollment office at Magasant they'd arrest you on the spot. They've done it before."

"But why?" I ask desperately. How quickly that dream died. "Why won't they let me learn magic?"

Exasperated, Gabriel swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "The Puridites – at the core of their beliefs – think magical people and Immags should be kept separate at all costs. They're afraid if we mix with Immags our blood will become diluted and impure. That we'd become weaker at magic because of it. Remember I said the number of magical people in America is declining more than other places? This is why – because we're not interracially marrying Immags."

I shake my head at the thought as we pass the library and head into the forest. "That's so depressing," I say.

"Further still," Gabriel says, continuing to rant, "Europe and Asia will have our academia beat soon! Magasant School of Magic is considered the second best school of magic in the world. It has an enormous endowment and is well respected. But with respect for the BOM – that's the Bureau of Magic – at an all-time low and our numbers declining drastically, we'll soon be outmatched."

I ask with interest, "what's the best school for magic in the world?"

"The best, most widely respected school of magic in the world," Gabriel begins, "is in Scotland. I did a year study abroad there. Frankly," he says, grinning over at me, "I think having that study abroad on my resume did more than anything to get me my job at the Bureau of Beast Control."

"What's it like? This school in Scotland?"

"Wonderful," Gabriel says dreamily, gazing off down the path to where his wand light illuminates our steps. "It's enormous – twice the size of Magasant. I was stunned by the history and majesty of the place. I'm fond of Magasant, but I'm sorry to say it doesn't compare. Their school is a castle. Magasant is a fortress. Probably to keep the Immags out," he adds disapprovingly.

It's strange to think the warm, fondly reminiscing boy beside me is the same who promised death to all vampires only half an hour ago. Now he seems innocent, his boyish charm filling me with glee and making me feel the wonders of a faraway land.

"Can I go there?" I ask him. "To Scotland to learn magic? Would they have me?" I can hardly keep the nervous excitement out of my voice.

Turquoise eyes gaze in my direction. "They might. There's no telling. They don't have the same rules barring Immags, but you have to show a certain amount of ability to get in. I wish you didn't have to consider the idea. I wish you could go to Magasant and do whatever you want in your own damn country!"

His force surprises me. "It wasn't long ago," I begin, "you were asking me why magical people should care about Immags. Yet _you_ seem to care about us. You seem angry about the way your Bureau of Magic is handling things."

"Well, I am," Gabriel says, sounding angrier still. "This isn't just about Immags. The Puridites have it wrong about everything. If we don't start interracially marrying, the magical community in America _will_ die out. It's in my self-interest to see magical people and Immags co-inhabit the world better, I swear!"

I stifle my giggle.

"Okay," I say.

And I take his hand.

His body tenses around my hand. "What are you doing?"

"Holding your hand," I tell him, smiling innocently at him. Nerves are eating me from inside out. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

Stopping short, Gabriel pulls his hand free – not sharply, but determinedly. The turquoise of his eyes – usually so revealing – are telling me nothing. His expression is impermeable. "You astound me," he says.

I desperately hope this is a good thing. "Why?"

"You just finished making a case for the intelligence of Immags," Gabriel remarks. "Saying you're tired of my being derogatory. I understand that. I look for proof of the contrary. Yet I've told you it's illegal for magical people and Immags to enter into relations. So what are you're doing?"

I'm trying my best to look unperturbed as my heart pings off my chest. "I know what you told me," I say calmly, determined to keep my cool. "But I don't care. I don't care if it's against the law. I like you, Gabriel – I like you a lot. Even if you are derogatory and condescending to, to –"

"Immags?"

I nod. "But I don't care. I like you anyway."

"Perhaps you shouldn't," Gabriel says, gazing off along the dark path ahead of us. "Perhaps you should get as far away from me as possible. In fact," he begins, closing his eyes, "you _should_ get as far away from me as possible. I'm too dangerous for you. And you, Nora – you're too dangerous for me."

"I'm not scared," I whisper in the dark. "So why are you?"

He takes a step closer to me, the aquamarine of his robe catching a patch of moonlight. "Scared? Nora, I'm a wizard who hunts vampires. I'm not scared. That doesn't mean this isn't dangerous. The BOM is serious about this kind of thing. If they find out they _will_ send people. It could ruin my career."

I won't let him back down. "I know you feel something for me," I say, impossibly keeping my tone under control. "I can see it in your eyes – in your expression when we talk. I don't believe you keep following me around for laughs. There's a reason you keep seeing me. It's the same reason I'm always happy to see you."

"...the BOM –"

"Doesn't have to know!" I interject loudly. "How can they?"

Irritation quickens his words. "Nora, this isn't the Immag world we're talking about. They _will_ find out. There are magical tools and spells that search for this kind of thing. Being in the northwest –"

"Means they can't find out?"

"They can," Gabriel answers. "But it will take them longer since there are few wizards in this part of the country."

I try my best to smile sweetly at him.

_You're terrible at flirting_ , my alter ego remarks dryly.

_Shut up!_ I tell her. _At least I'm trying!_

My attempt is lost in the drowning darkness, the light from Gabriel's wand dispersed down to the ground. We're alone on the path, the trees growing larger around us in the shadowy loam. The woods, so loud minutes ago with the sounds of animals and insects are quiet, as though the entire forest stopped to watch us beyond the scope of our light.

"I do want this, Nora," Gabriel says. "I – I didn't understand why I wanted to keep seeing you. I thought it couldn't be _that_ because – well – you're an Immag. But there's so much on the line. Everything I've worked for my whole life. Everything I've wanted to be. I could lose it all..."

Despite this most recent attack on Immags, I'm taken by his words. I didn't realize how risky it would be.

_This is his way of turning you down_ , my alter ego tells me. _He thinks you're ugly_.

_Just because you have low self esteem_ , I tell her, _doesn't mean I do!_

"I understand," I tell Gabriel. "I really do. They may arrest me too, right? But I'm not afraid of them. Fear can't dictate who I decide to go out with. Fear can't control my decisions. And fear can't ruin my happiness – I won't let it. Will you let it, Gabriel? Will you let it ruin your happiness?"

He ponders this, then says "Come on" and in a swoosh of his robes he's off along the path, his wand hand outstretched and guiding the way forward, the light glowing brightly amidst the coming trees. I'm paralyzed for a second, but then I hurry to catch up. When I do, I take his hand again.

His body tenses around my touch, but he doesn't pull free this time. Nor does he look at me. He's forced to slow down to match my pace, and we continue on in silence. I can't keep the smile off my face. The feel of his hand in mine is wonderful – the electricity of his touch thrumming through my body all the way to my heart where our pulses are synching their rhythms.

I realize how stunningly magical the forest is at night, how the warm air seems to breathe from the trees, and the patches of sky visible through foliage are star strewn. The natives of the forest have resumed their nighttime partying. Their whistles, calls, and murmurs come to us on the moist air. Best of all, we're coming close to our destination, the thinning trees revealing the promise beyond.

We emerge on the beach. The light at the end of Gabriel's wand quavers in response to the task of so much ground to cover, yet the shoreline is already visible. The trees surrounding Eld Inlet dance as a northerly wind rustles their nighttime slumber. I hear the sound of water weaving back and forth along the shore, washing away the imprints on the sand like worries in my heart.

I'm beginning to love this place. No – I _do_ love it.

Gabriel stops at the shoreline, his gaze raiding everything we can see from the glow of his wand. He's thinking hard about something. For once I let him have his thought process undisturbed. This is me being tactful. I'm trying to persuade him, after all.

Squeezing my hand, Gabriel turns. "I can't say where it will go."

"Me either," I say quickly. "But who knows? It can go anywhere."

"Including nowhere," he says, dislodging his eyes from me and staring over the water. "Including nowhere," he repeats more quietly. A look of terrible sadness breaks across his face. He closes his eyes. "There is no such thing as a guarantee in life about anything, Nora. Never forget that."

What the? This seems off topic.

"I won't," I say.

"Never feel sorry for the old," he continues. "Never, Nora. It's easy to find yourself being an apologist for the aged and feeble. But anybody who's lived so long should only give, not receive. The old have been young and everything in between, but the young may never grow old."

What on earth is he talking about? I have to bring it back to us. "I know," I tell him. "That's why I want to do this, Gabriel! That's why I want to be a part of your life! Because more life isn't guaranteed. Because we may never achieve far off dreams. Some dreams are worth living now."

He looks at me in surprise. "You're right, Nora. You're absolutely right..." His words trail off across the water to where trees wave in the wind. "But I have a mission," he murmurs, more to himself than me. "I have a job to do here in Olympia. I can't get distracted. Can't give up my goal."

"Isn't happiness a goal?" I ask him. "Isn't happiness a mission? Talk about a distraction! What if your dream of perpetrating vampire genocide is a distraction from your own, _real_ happiness?"

Turquoise eyes meet mine. He grins. "Are you saying I'm astray?"

Blushing furiously, I swipe my hair over my ear. Geez, how did he get me so good with that one? "Maybe," I tell him, though my gaze is eating the ground. "Who am I to say? I can't tell you how to live your life. I just want to ask you on a date."

This is good – this subtle, devious approach of mine. Frankly, I'd like to give him a massive overhaul. But it can wait, for now I need to get a foot in the door, and later hopefully other parts of my body, too.

Tracing my knuckles with his thumb, Gabriel lifts my hand to his mouth and kisses it smoothly. My mouth drops open. Oh geez! Who'd have thought such a simple thing could be so disarming? I've seen it done to others, but experiencing it personally is so different. So much better.

"A date you can have," Gabriel says quietly, lowering my hand and squeezing it. "I know myself too well to promise anything more. But that would be nice. It's – uh – been a long time since I've been on a date. Not since Magasant's Millennial Ball, actually. That was in fifth year."

He's being modest. "I don't believe you," I say teasingly, "You're so clever and so..." I want to say gorgeous, but not wanting to push it, I say, "charming. I can imagine girls lining up for you."

He chuckles lightly, swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "Nah. You don't exactly wear your grades. I didn't have money until I started working at the Bureau of Beast Control and that was after I graduated. I suppose I looked raggedy to most of them," he says ruefully.

"They must have been insane," I tell him. "I – I think you're pretty."

_Keep the praise moderate, Nora_ , scolds my alter ego. _You're not a wizard groupie_.

Gabriel waves me away and looks down, pulling his fine, aquamarine robes around him in a flourish. "Now I do! Now I have money and can afford decent clothes that aren't completely embarrassing!"

He's missing the point. I decide to move on. Gabriel is still holding my hand. I pull it free to swipe my suddenly windswept hair behind my ear. I can feel the electric pulse of his warmth even when we're not touching.

"When should we go on our date?" I ask him.

I look down bashfully as I ask, but when no answer comes I'm forced to look up. Gabriel is gazing over the cool, lapping waves. The turquoise of his eyes illuminated in his wand light. He looks lost.

My impulse to ask again is strong but I fight it off. He's gathering his thoughts, or else some far away revelation. I feel it would be unwise to interrupt him. Yet I can hardly wait for his answer.

Gabriel looks back. "How about now?"

"Now?" I repeat in shock. "How now?"

He smiles at this. "I'm not tired. Are you?"

"Not at all," I reply, staring back. Transfixed.

"The beach is ours," Gabriel continues, his eyes growing brighter with each passing second. "The waves too. Nobody is here to see us or ruin our fun. Nobody will make judgments of what we did here tonight. But later I might make judgments about what we _didn't_ do here tonight."

_What the fuck?_ What is he talking about?

I shake my head. "I'm sorry," I tell him. "I don't understand."

"Want to go for a swim?" Turquoise eyes are alight.

I guffaw. "What! Now? Here?"

"Yes," he answers simply, "here and now."

I'm actually terrified by the idea. I can't say why but I know I can't do it. "I don't have a bathing suit," I say quickly.

"Neither do I," he counters with a grin.

His meaning dawns on me. "You – you want to go skinny dipping?"

Gabriel nods, his grin widening. "It'll be fun. Nobody will see."

"You will see!" I exclaim. "You'll see me naked!"

He looks surprised by my sudden insecurity. "So what?" he asks, his grin slipping. "You'll see _me_ naked too."

"It's not the same," I pout. My eyes travel the length of his wand to the tip where its light illuminates our faces. Mine burning with embarrassment and his taken aback. "I've never gone skinny dipping before!"

"There's always a first time," he murmurs. His soothing voice seems to relax my nerves if not my anxiety. "Listen to your heart, Nora. Look me in the face and tell me no part of you – not the slightest bit – wants to do this. Take a moment, search every crevice of your being, and tell me that."

I open my mouth to denounce his idea. Then close it again. I'm doing what he asked me to do – asking myself that question. Yes. There she is. From deep inside me the stronger Nora, the braver Nora, the daring Nora speaks out, begging me not to back down.

_Come on, Nora_! My alter ego is loud and clear. _Don't be your usual cringing self!_

_But I'm scared!_ I tell her. _Scared of him seeing me naked!_

I open my mouth. "I'm in," I say before I can stop myself. "But only if you put that wand out first!"

"Deal," he says, looking relieved.

I stare in the direction of lapping waves. "Won't it be cold?"

"Yes," he admits. "Very cold. Hold on – stand still."

Folding my arms behind me, I stand still. What is he up to?

"Close your eyes," he orders. I close them, my combined excitement and anxiety making me giddy. I feel his wand tip at my throat. He drags it down to my collar bone and up the other side around my ear. Then it's under my jaw, feeling my pulse. Ecstatic tingles race over my body. I can't figure out why, but I'm enjoying the sensation of his wand on me. "Equilibri," Gabriel breathes, and I feel my body temperature rise. He withdraws his wand. "There," he says, "you will stay a comfortable temperature."

"Thanks," I say, still eyeing his wand. Geez, I hope he puts that out before I get undressed.

Gabriel touches his pulse with his wand. "Equilibri."

"Ready?" I ask.

With a flick he extinguishes his wand. "Let's go."

We're in near darkness now. Only the moonlight shines down on the beach, but its charity is minimal and reserved. I'm grateful for this, for despite what some might call a nice figure I blush too easily even when I'm not naked. Pulling my tank top over my head I unzip my jeans and step out of them. Pulling my bra down my arms I toss it to the sand and then swipe off my panties.

Gabriel is already naked. Under his robes was nothing but a T-shirt and underwear. Even as moonlight reveals a swatch of muscular torso, most of him is still hidden in darkness. Left to my imagination. I wonder what parts of me he can see. I gulp involuntarily. I decide I don't want to know.

"I'll race you," Gabriel says. "You in?"

I've come this far. "Okay."

"One, two, three!"

We're off. Dashing like crazy people for the water. My feet sink in the sand with the force of my motion but I pull them free. I gasp with pain when I step on the jagged edge of a rock. But I'm having too much fun to care. Whooping, I plow forward, keeping track of Gabriel beside me.

Nearing the water, he throws on an extra burst of speed and catapults in. I'm in the water too. I gasp the rush of cold assaulting me, but the next second the sensation is gone. I'm warm and comfortable. I realize this isn't a quick adjustment to the water, but magic. Magic on my side.

Swimming naked is like swimming with clothes on, except you feel a hundred times more vulnerable. For somebody who already feels vulnerable when in water, this is a maddeningly sweet surrender. Gushing around me in thunderous motion the water envelops me and holds me up as I float on my back. I hear it in my ears and smell it in my nose as I gaze up at the moon.

"Having a good time?"

Gabriel is beside me. Getting into a floating position, he searches with his hand for a moment before finding mine. I breathe deeply, hoping the water won't take me under. I return the squeeze of his hand and listen as the gently lapping water sounds in the near distance. "Yes," I answer. "This was a good idea!"

"No it wasn't!" Gabriel exclaims with a laugh. "It was the worst idea ever! I can't believe you fell for it!"

I burst out laughing and nearly go under. But he tightens his grip on my hand, restoring my balance on the cool waves. This truly feels wonderful – being weightless on water and warm from the magic of his wand. The entire beach to ourselves and not a soul to worry about, except our own.

"Look at the stars," I say. I want to point but I know better, for if I dislodge my arm I will go under. "They're beautiful. They're so beautiful! That's why I came to Olympia – to see the stars."

"That's the dumbest reason ever," Gabriel says, but his tone is shallow with awe as he gazes upward.

"I know," I tell him, failing to stifle a giggle. "I couldn't help myself!"

We are silent.

"Why did your parents get divorced?"

Startled, I glance over at him. "What?"

"I want to know," he says.

Where the hell did this come from? We were having a good time. Geez, he doesn't know when to ask these type of questions. "How do you know they got divorced?" I ask him, trying to remember back. "I didn't tell you. Or did I?"

"You did," he says. "One of the first things you said to me. You said your mom knew the relationship wouldn't last and so she demanded your last name be hyphenated. Don't you remember?

"I do," I murmur. "I guess I was so taken by your oddness I didn't know what I said. That's kind of a personal question, Gabriel."

He's rubbing my knuckles in the water. "Why is it personal?"

"It just is," I say. "It's family stuff."

Stars twinkle overhead. "Should it be personal?" Gabriel asks. "I'm a student of love. I _want_ to learn about these things. To understand why stuff doesn't work out sometimes. My curiosity is unending, Nora. Do you ever feel like you want to know everything about everything?"

"Not really," I say.

"I do," he continues. "I'm fascinated by relationships. They're part of my life I never got right. You saw my attitude when I came on campus. Truth is I don't have any friends – not back home. I have admirers – yes, many of those – but no real friends. My peers have respect for me. Not affection."

His honesty is disarming. Despite having known him for a short time, none of what he's saying surprises me. But he shared, so I should share too. I clear my throat and swish the water with my arms. "They've been separated two years," I tell him. "Divorced for one – I..." I stop because of tightness in my throat.

Gabriel waits patiently for me to continue.

"I – I don't really know why they separated," I say, already feeling my body growing heavier in the water. "They even renewed their vows after ten years." The water is beginning to lap at the tops of my knees, then over them. "I don't really know what happened. But I have a guess."

His voice is quiet. "What's that?"

"They just stopped loving each other."

* * *

"Nora! Nora! Are you okay?"

I splutter water from my mouth as my eyes snap open. Gabriel is beside me on the beach looking terrified. I struggle to sit up and collapse back down. I'm shaking all over. I can't control it. "I'm fine," I croak.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Gabriel exclaims, looking more scared than angry. "You stopped swimming! You went right under! It was a moment before I knew what happened. You could have died!"

I try and sit up but he pushes me back down. "I don't know what happened," I tell him hoarsely. "I can't remember what happened. I must have lost consciousness. You – _you_ saved my life!"

He doesn't respond to this. Instead, he waits for my breathing to calm before helping me to my feet. "Never do that again!"

Geez, he's really worried about me. Maybe he does like me.

I realize I'm still naked. Luckily, Gabriel hasn't yet lit his wand. But he's up and moving in that direction. Hastily, I cup myself in one hand and lay a forearm across my breasts, effectively covering my nipples if nothing else. It may seem trivial to worry about such things after nearly drowning, but I don't care. I never miss an opportunity to feel self-conscious or embarrassed.

Gabriel reaches his clothes. "I'm lighting my wand," he says loudly. "I'll keep my eyes closed, okay?"

"Fine," I squeak. I'm not shaking anymore, so when his wand alights I scuttle over the sand to my clothes and hurriedly pull them on. I don't bother with my bra, but hang it over my shoulder. "Dressed," I tell him. Geez, it's so tempting to look over now I'm safe. I can't help it. I look.

His backside is facing me, illuminated in the light of the wand lying in the sand. From the back he is fit and muscular. His cheeks are sweet to behold. How can I be thinking about sex after nearly dying, you ask? I have no answer.

Clothed, Gabriel turns around and catches me. "Hey! You were looking!"

I'm too exhausted to lie. "Sorry," I say. I'm blushing maroon.

"It's understandable," he remarks in a self satisfied tone. "I'm hard to resist."

Yes you are!

"Egotistical much?" I ask him. "Gabriel, it's late. We should get back. I have to do another wash tonight. This was my only pair of clean jeans. Now..." I gesture hopelessly to their sand covered sides.

Swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead, Gabriel picks up his wand from the sand. "You forget, Nora," he says, coming next to me and touching my jeans with his wand. "You always forget. Amendi!"

As though freshly washed and dried my clothes resettle on me, warm to the touch and cleaner than when brand new. The perpetual tea stain is gone from my tank top. Sighing with amused irritation, I gaze up at him. "I want magic," I tell him. "It's just not fair. Being an Immag sucks."

Startlingly white teeth are revealed. "I agree. Immags suck."

"That's not what I said!" I exclaim in mock outrage, but a giggle escapes me. "How you twist my words!"

"I reinterpret them is all," he says, his hand finding the small of my back and guiding me in the direction of the path. "Point is you don't have to do a wash tonight. Get some sleep so you can study tomorrow."

I roll my eyes. "We'll see about that."

Gabriel asks, "Did you like our date?"

I take a long, luxurious moment before answering. "Yes. I liked it very much. Except for that one hiccup it's the best I've ever had."

"How many have you had?"

I determinedly stow my smile. "One."

## Chapter Five

I spend the rest of the weekend holed up in my dorm. I reflect on my date with Gabriel. In retrospect I can't describe what happened in the water. A near death experience? Perhaps. I'm seeing colors a little brighter, feeling air a little fresher, and smelling aromas a little sweeter since Gabriel saved my life.

If Gabriel hadn't been there I would've died. I feel my affection growing for him, for the boy who lured me into the murky unknown only to save me from the same.

Now he's away. Hunting vampires. Or else studying for the one class he's taking. I still haven't asked him what class it is. I'm thinking less about school and homework and more about Gabriel. About the turquoise fire in his eyes and the smooth movements of his hand as he swipes his blond hair to the side. His mere existence is captivating even when he's not around.

Despite my fantasy-filled daydreams I am doing homework. I can't help it. Now that it's on my iPad, _The Great Gatsby_ is nothing less than enveloping. Perhaps I'm just admiring the device while I read. But I do get lost in the prose and appreciate the subtle nature of Fitzgerald's masterpiece.

It's Sunday evening and I have one chapter left to read. Setting my iPad aside, I stare at the backboard of my desk. I'm surprised Kiri isn't back yet. She said she'd be back sometime today. I'm bursting to tell her about my date and get her opinion on Gabriel. My guess is she'll be as blindsided as me by his charm.

As of today, it's been a full week since I arrived at Evergreen State College. A remarkably short time in which to get infatuated with a boy. A long time in which to only have two meals. Yet my anxiety has quieted.

I am still losing weight. I realize if this continues I could run into trouble – either healthwise or with people who have a tendency to notice such things. I determine to force myself to eat more. Yogurt I can handle. I decide to consume a yogurt a day to the best of my ability. Skipping today.

Gabriel didn't say when we'd hang out again. We have a bad habit of not making plans, so we always end up meeting randomly. I should assume if he wants to see me he'll find me. That's one way to go about a relationship.

But are Gabriel and I dating? We've had _a_ date. But are we dating? _Dating_ sounds plural, implying more than one. We've only had one, so by that standard we aren't dating yet. I'll have to ask Kiri about the mechanics and finer points of relationship jargon. Gabriel _did_ say I can go vampire hunting with him. Can that constitute date two?

I need to stop filling my brain with question marks before I get a headache. It won't help my studying. So ignoring my Victorian Era Literature book – which has unfortunately become custom – I dive back into _Gatsby_.

I'm thrilled by the ending. So much more so than I had been in high school. Basking in the glow of my matured literary comprehension, I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and get ready for bed.

Tucking myself in, I realize something. I will never tell my parents about my nearly dying. It will worry them and they have enough to worry about. And somebody will know. Somebody will always know. That's how it should be. For a near death experience is not something to keep to one's self. Gabriel will know. Gabriel will always know. He will know he saved my life.

* * *

I wake at 9:33. Geez, I nearly slept through class! Again. There's no time for a shower. Again. Lucky I took one yesterday. Dressing quickly, I hurry into the bathroom. I put my contacts in and spray my perfume, brushing my hair out so it doesn't look like I fell out of bed and went to class.

It's another cloudy, rainless day in Olympia. I try to hurry. I pass the dining hall feeling guilty. There's no time for breakfast. Again. My resolution to eat a yogurt everyday will have to go fuck itself for now.

I – of course – arrive late. Dr. Renaus has everybody sitting in a circle and he looks on with interest as I join the group. He seems to want to say something to me but can't remember my name, so he contents himself with opening his notes.

"Did everyone manage to read _Sailing to Byzantium_ by W. B. Yeats over the weekend?" Dr. Renaus asks. "And how is everyone coming along with _Sordello_?" An unintelligible murmur sweeps the room. "I know it's a lot," Renaus continues, "but it provides you with a distinct understanding of Browning's inspirations. You have this fantastical character walking around in the 1200s. Does he bare any resemblance whatsoever to the original person? How can we decipher this mystery?"

Unfed and watered, my sleep state having existed so recently, I find myself nodding off in my chair. I forget we're all sitting in a circle. Forget everyone can see me. I lean forward in my chair as sleep takes me.

Gasping, I catch myself just in time. Just before falling forward face first.

Chuckles fly around the room. I shake myself and sit up straight, determined to stay awake and hoping Dr. Renaus didn't catch my momentary lapse. Too late. "Would you like to add something, Miss?"

"Saynt-Rae," I say, blushing against so many amused faces.

Dr. Renaus nods thoughtfully. "Saynt-Rae – I'll try and remember. Well? Would you like to add something?"

I'm royally screwed. I have yet to open my Victorian Era Literature book.

"I found it interesting," I say slowly, pulling words right out my ass, "that Browning decided to write about a character that lived in the 1200s when he was writing in the 19th century. Maybe he was so horrified by what he was seeing – you know, with industrialization and everything – that he decided to write about ancient history rather than the more disturbing present."

Dr. Renaus is stroking his chin with his thumb. "A very interesting revelation, Ms. Saynt-Rae. Yes – I think you may be onto something here. Correct me if I'm mistaken, but it seems you're suggesting that Robert Browning may have been feeling nostalgia for 'simpler times.' Brought on of course by the tirade of roaring machinery that characterized the steam era."

"Uh – yeah."

"Good," Dr. Renaus says admiringly. "Very good. Ms. Saynt-Rare is approaching this material in the correct way. That is to say she's not only developing an in-depth and coherent analysis of the works themselves but is actively constructing an in-depth and thorough analysis of the times the works were written in. This is the _correct_ approach, especially when trying to get to the root of an artist's inspiration. Never forget to ask _why_ somebody did something, wrote something, or created something. The answer is often in the times. A very good analysis, Ms. Saynt-Rae."

Startled by this response to my bullshit, I blink back at Dr. Renaus. Geez, I hope he won't expect more insight from me later. I must endeavor to stay awake so as to avoid putting myself forward. Literally.

* * *

In between classes I take bold steps in the direction of the dining hall. This is it – my new regime starts today. I will digest a container of yogurt even if I have to take five minute breaks between each spoonful.

The dining hall is crowded and loud. Unfortunately, it's almost noon which is the worst time to be here. The line for the grill looks terrible and even the salad buffet is getting too much attention. I find my way to the back corner where the tiny refrigerator is. Oh the benefits of being a minimalistic consumer! No lines! Grabbing a spoon, I find an empty table for two and sit down.

I notice – once again – that everybody seems to have a lunch buddy. Those who don't are carrying out to-go packs and will probably end up meeting somebody. I sigh with resignation. I must look like a real idiot sitting here alone.

_You do_ , my alter ego informs me.

_Shut the fuck up_ is my response to her.

I choke down the yogurt. It's awful. Not the yogurt, but the effort of eating it. This is worse than before. It's like my body wants to reject the food. The yogurt, though so smooth, seems to stick in my throat. Closing my eyes, I take another spoonful and force it down. Disgusting. I hate this! It's how I felt when eating grass as a child – terrible and obtuse, like I'm the wrong species for it.

Fuck it.

I'm not finishing this yogurt. It's too painful. Putting the container down, I'm assaulted by a feeling of overwhelming defeat. Geez, I can't eat yogurt! How much more deficient can I become in life? Good thing I haven't had any exams yet. Poor grades can only add to this ass kicking. I need to start listening to inspiration music or reading self help books or some shit. This isn't working!

* * *

The English 103: English Composition classroom is mostly full when I arrive. It's not so much I'm late as they are early. Sitting down in my seat by the window, I pull out _The Great Gatsby_ and wait for class to begin. Eventually Dr. James decides to arrive.

"Settle down," he says to the respectfully watching class. "It's time for schoolwork. Life isn't a series of parties. Too bad nobody told Gatsby." Dr. James pauses, looking around expectantly for appreciative laughter. When none comes, he resumes, "Today we'll be continuing our analysis of this masterpiece of American literature. I want a volunteer. Let me see... you there, by the window!"

It's tempting to remark that obviously he wasn't searching for a volunteer. "Yes?" I say politely, adding, "do you have a question for me?"

"Most certainly," Dr. James says deviously, opening his folder with a swat of his hand. "Let's see now..." Geez, it's so obvious he's only calling on me because I got it wrong last time. No doubt he's picking out a really hard question. "Exactly which character," Dr. James begins, "tells Nick Carraway that before she married Tom, Daisy was in fact in love with one James Gatz?"

I roll my eyes. "That would be D – Jordan Baker." I know I shouldn't be a smartass to a teacher, but his pointless antagonism is irritating. I feel it coming from afar. A tirade of inspired frustration.

"Apart from the specific gotcha questions you've been asking," I begin loudly, "shouldn't we talk about what the book is about? How it's a profound narrative on the American Dream as it hangs on a knife's edge in the early 20th century? How between The Great War and The Great Depression there was a millisecond – only a millisecond– of great prosperity for so many people and yet it was squandered, wasted by bootleggers and cheats? How this American Dream – once it was at last achieved in the 1920s before the country went bankrupt – only led to moral bankruptcy!"

Oh fuck!

I shouldn't have said all that. But I had to. I wanted to. Now everybody is staring at me, including Dr. James, whose bespectacled gray features appear more astonished than angry. I wonder what he'll do now. Many of my peers look delighted. Many more look as bored as when class started.

Coughing once, Dr. James readjusts his glasses and picks up his copy of _Gatsby_. "You in front with the dreadlocks," he resumes. "When Gatsby goes out with Nick they are stopped for speeding by a police officer. Gatsby produces a card and hands it to the police officer. What color is the card?"

* * *

Walking back to my dorm I realize I should see a doctor. The idea occurred to me before but I never took it seriously. I assumed my anxiety would die after a week or so. But I can't eat. Two more weeks might do it, and if not maybe three or four. My inability to eat yogurt can't be a good thing.

In the evening I decide to give Dad a call. He's due to call tonight anyhow, but calling early might be a pleasant surprise for him. Shows I'm looking forward to it. So I dial his number. Two rings and an answer like always.

"What's wrong, Nora Rae?" Dad asks.

I can't help my grin. "Nothing's wrong! I'm checking in early. I may have been at dinner later," I lie. "How have you been?"

"Better," Dad says gruffly. "Remember when your mom and I dropped you off at school and got into a... a _discussion_ about my date that night?"

"I remember," I say. Seriously, Dad, it wasn't that long ago.

Dad – usually so calm – is agitated. I can hear it in his tone. "Well, your mother has gone and got herself a boyfriend now."

"What!" I exclaim in horror. "She can't have!"

"Well, she did," Dad follows up. "You know why? To get back at me for having one date last weekend. _One_ date! Didn't even go anywhere. And now after two years and no dates, she gets herself a boyfriend. Must have skipped the mandatory month together or whatever. She has a _boyfriend_ , she said."

"How?" I gasp. "When? How did this happen?"

We're both talking about it like it's a travesty. It kind of is. Mom is not the type of person to do this. She's cautious and reserved. She'd never call somebody her boyfriend this fast.

_Don't just put this on Mom_ , my alter ego quips. _Admit it. You're fucking embarrassed she has a boyfriend post-divorce sooner than you do_.

_I may have her beat, actually_ , I respond. _So there!_

"I'll tell you how!" Dad says angrily. "She comes to my house and knocks on my door. I open it and she gives me fifteen dollars. Said she did the math and still owed some for the iPad. Then she gestures behind her to where some idiot is shot-gunning her ride. Says 'that's Pat, my _boyfriend_.'"

I sigh deeply. "What a mess," I say, thinking aloud. "I – I mean I'm sorry that happened, Dad. She's just getting back at you for last weekend. But how on earth did she find somebody so fast?"

"Beats me," Dad says. "I know she's getting back at me. I say, 'What's this, Cindy? Some kind of revenge story?' She looks at me with some serious willful ignorance. She understood." He breathes heavily into the phone. "I can't believe this, Nora. Can't believe she'd do this like this."

"I know," I tell him. "I'm sorry."

Dad calms down enough to say, "Ah well. How are you getting on? Have _you_ been meeting anyone?"

Oh geez!

"No," I say too quickly. "Nobody, Dad."

"What?" He sounds disappointed. "Nora Rae, you have to get out and make friends. The first week is crucial! You can't start when you feel like it. The first week or so is the best time, when everyone is new and open to new people. The guys I met the first week at UW were the ones that stayed my friends."

"I'm friends with my roommate," I say hurriedly, trying to repair the damage. "There's this guy in writing class who's nice."

"Yeah, well," Dad says hesitatingly, "why don't you stick with girlfriends for the time being."

Is he kidding me right now?

Kiri bangs through the door carrying her cello case.

"Can I call you back, Dad?" I ask him. "Kiri – my roommate – got back and I need to ask her something before she runs off again."

"Let's call it a night," Dad says. "Stay well, make friends, study hard. By the way, how's the liquor in town?"

Surprised, I stumble through, "I – I wouldn't know."

"I'm not a fool, Nora," Dad says. I can hear the smile on his face. "Moderate it. Keep it to weekends. Hear?"

"Yes," I say, abashed.

"Goodnight, Nora Rae," he says. "Love you."

"Love you too, Dad," I reply, blushing as I swivel to look at Kiri. She's politely pretending not to listen. Hanging up, I put my phone on the desk. Kiri is looking at me expectantly. "What?"

"I should be asking you," she tells me. "What did you want to ask me before I 'run off again'?"

"Oh right," I say. "Want to go to dinner?" I'm not sure why I'm asking her to dinner, considering I won't be able to eat anything. But it's something I've been meaning to do and Dad said to be more social.

"Totally," Kiri replies, beaming. "Let me get ready."

Five minutes later we're out the door. I'm in jeans and a flowery camisole. Kiri's dressed in an Indian-laced top and a swishy, straw-like skirt. I have no clue where she gets her clothes. She looks like the girl in _Island of the Blue Dolphins_. She also looks amazing. We don't speak until dorm building C is behind us.

A last bit of light glows in the distance above the trees. The regular campus bustle has died down, leaving only a few stragglers off to late classes or else a late dinner. Luckily the dining hall is open till 9:00pm. The serenity of the campus at night sinks into my system, thrilling my pores.

"You know," Kiri says, "I'm not that hungry. Are you?"

I'm relieved to hear this. "Not at all," I say truthfully.

"Wanna hit the bar?" Kiri asks. Her grin is luminous below bobbed hair and sharp glasses. "I'm buying."

"We're underage," I remind her, feeling uneasy. What was Dad's request? It is a school night, after all.

"No worries," Kiri remarks. "My brother graduated from here two years ago. He told me there's a bar off campus called The Mousetrap that doesn't check ID. I've been meaning to check it out. Want to?"

_Do it_ , says my alter ego. _You're so fucking boring! Live for once_.

_Hey_ , I tell her, _go easy!_

"Fine," I say resignedly. "So long as you're buying."

"I said I was," Kiri replies. "Come on. It's just south of Red Square."

* * *

The Mousetrap is a cute little dive. The mouse's tail on the hanging wooden sign is so long it curls around the entire name. The poor mouse is cloven in two. Inside is the usual show. A long counter runs away down the right side as you enter while a halfhearted assortment of chairs and tables adorns the left.

Scooting inside, Kiri and I find a table and sit down. "Leave this to me," Kiri says excitedly. "You sit tight!"

"Gotcha," I reply, leaning back in my chair. I watch her scuttle over to the bar, the straw of her skirt swishing around agile legs.

Soon Kiri is back with a drink in each hand.

"What's this?" I ask, taking mine.

She takes a hasty sip standing then plops down beside me. "India Pale Ale," she answers. "Try it – tell me what you think."

Raising my glass, I wait for hers. "A toast?"

"Yes!" Kiri says, raising her glass. "To love everlasting and peace on earth. And awesome grades for minimal work!"

"Cheers," I say, kissing my glass with hers. Raising my glass to my lips, I drink deeply. My first taste of beer. Almost at once I replace my glass on the table, coughing. "That's bitter!" I exclaim.

Kiri giggles. "No it isn't! It's god's gift to mankind."

I shudder and push it away. "You can have mine."

"Hold on," Kiri says after a drink. "I know what to get you." Hopping up, she goes back to the bar. Soon she's back and pushing a clear drink into my hand. A long straw is poking from its rim.

"What's this?" I ask warily.

"Gin and tonic," Kiri says. "It'll do you wonders. Try it."

Watching her suspiciously, I lower my mouth to the straw. Surprisingly, I like this one. It's still bitter to the tongue but less so. It smells better. That counts. "I like this one more," I tell her. "A lot more."

"Cool," Kiri says, sitting down again. "Think of it like a strong soda. With alcohol. And a straw."

As time goes on the bar begins to fill up. Turns out Kiri's brother isn't the only one who knows about this very accepting establishment. Many teenage-looking students are sitting at the bar or else lounging at tables. One boy I recognize from my English 103 class. He can't be twenty-one.

"Oh life," Kiri says after finishing her first beer, "you're a tricky bastard."

I giggle. The alcohol is affecting me. My body has grown lighter. The clouds of smoke dissipating around my head. "What makes you say that?" I ask Kiri. "You seem to have things together from what I've seen."

Kiri sighs and reaches for my unfinished beer. "Oh, it's nothing – life – you know?"

"You can do better than that," I tell her. "Come on – tell me what's up. If you tell me I'll tell you about the guy I met."

Kiri's eyebrows rise. "We're bartering now?"

"It appears so."

She wags a finger at me over her beer. "You knew I wouldn't be able to resist. Oh well," she concedes. "It's depressing stuff I've had on my mind lately. You don't want to hear me complain."

"I do," I say. "Tell me."

"Twist my arm, why don't you?" But she readjusts her glasses before saying, "I've been doing some research. It's difficult to make it as a musician. Even if you do, you're living on peanuts. I'm an above-average cellist, but I'm not outstanding. The problem is you need to be outstanding to get the peanut jobs."

"Oh," I say, "I – I didn't know."

"Me neither," Kiri remarks, "which is the problem. If I knew right after high school I might never have come here. My whole life might be different."

Straightening my hair with my fingers, I tell her, "I'm glad you came to Evergreen, Kiri. Otherwise I'd probably have an awful roommate. You saved me from that. So there! It was worth it!"

Grinning, Kiri gets up. "Want another drink?"

"Yes, please!" I say too enthusiastically. "Same thing."

Kiri returns with two gin and tonics this time. Finishing my first I leap onto my second. Geez, is this how alcoholism begins? Probably.

"Okey-dokey, I kept my half of the bargain," Kiri informs me. "Now tell me more about your new boyfriend!"

I roll my eyes to the ceiling. "He's _not_ my new boyfriend. Err – I don't think he is, anyway. Not yet."

"You're not sure," Kiri observes. "You might want to clear that up before things get awkward."

"I mean I like him," I defend. "He's – um – he's different, you could say. Not like most guys..." Geez, how do I phrase this without giving away his secret? "He has special abilities. Abilities most guys don't have. He has a pet owl named Merrifeather and he dresses in bright, eccentric clothes –"

Kiri snorts into her gin and tonic and doubles over coughing. Worried, I lean in closer, but soon realize her hacking cough has turned into wheezing laughter. "Nora!" she exclaims. "Nora, you poor thing!"

"What?" I'm looking around in embarrassment. People are staring at us from the bar. "What did I say wrong?"

"Oh – nothing," Kiri burps. She erupts into another fit of giggles. "I – I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings," she hiccups upon righting herself, "but I think you were right. He's not your boyfriend!"

"Why's that?" I'm starting to feel annoyed. She's having a little too much fun at my expense. "He took me to the beach the other day and we held hands. Then he made my clothes all fresh and new. Oh, and he likes _wands_ ," I throw out dissonantly. Maybe she'll pick up on that one. "Why are you laughing?"

For Kiri is wiping tears of mirth from her eyes now.

I wait for her fit to pass.

Eyes dry, Kiri looks at me and sighs. "I hate to tell you this, Nora, but your boyfriend is – _uh_ – bent."

I blink at her. "I'm not following."

"He's poofy," she says.

I stare. "What are you saying?"

"Nora!" Kiri says in exasperation. "He's a martini with a twist!"

I shake my head. Geez, I wonder if these are secret code words for wizards. Maybe Immags do know about them.

"A strawberry daiquiri?"

"Kiri," I say. "I don't understand what you're saying."

She frowns, thinking. "He's a friend of Dorothy."

"Just tell me!"

Sighing, Kiri covers her eyes. "Nora. He's gay. I'm sorry."

Realization hitting, I palm my forehead. "Oh, you – you _completely_ misunderstood." But then I start to giggle. This sets Kiri off, too. And for a long time we can't stop. Gulping down much-needed air with my gin and tonic, I stumble into another fit of giggles as Kiri gets us another round.

_I can't believe you said all that in that way_ , my alter ego hiccups. Even she is laughing.

_Oh well_ , I respond, _at least his cover isn't blown_.

"In other news," I tell Kiri when she returns, "My mom has a boyfriend for the first time since the divorce. Best part is she found him in under a week to get back at Dad for having a date last weekend."

"Whoa," Kiri says, sipping from her straw, her eyes turning hazy in the dull light. "That's seriously messed up. Is your Mom's new boyfriend gay too?"

"Probably," I say. "But Gabriel isn't gay! He's just eccentric. I think he likes me. No. I _know_ he likes me. So there!"

"Suit yourself," Kiri says calmly. "But remember – I warned you. So when you've gotten your heart all tangled up in him and it doesn't work out don't come tripping to me! My arms will be crossed!"

I shake my head at her, my grin stamped and irremovable. "Why don't you meet him? Since you're so good at telling these things, meet him and decide if he's gay. Until then he gets the benefit of the doubt. Deal?"

"Deal," Kiri confirms. We raise our replenished glasses for a toast. "We'll be seeing about this Gabriel. By the way, I have tons of laundry that needs doing in my closet. You can send him right over."

* * *

I'm walking to English 301: The Art of the Essay.

My head is splitting. Only after finishing our third round of gin and tonics did Kiri and I wind our way back to dorm building C. I assume Kiri made it to her early class. She was gone when I awoke. Now I'm trudging to class. If I'm going to be a drinker I need to invest in some fucking Tylenol.

Another rainless, cloudy day. It's not the rain that's oppressive here, but the perpetually looming nature of its possibility. The rain isn't debilitating when it comes. But the feeling rain is always seconds away grows wearisome on a soul.

Finding my usual seat by the window, I watch as the class files in. A mopey crowd this morning. Or maybe it's just Tuesday. Neither is a cheerful thought. Less cheerful still is Wolf's empty chair. Where is he? He's never late.

Dr. Tuten walks into the room, the lone sprightly figure. "Good morning," he says cheerfully. "Had a good weekend?" Nobody answers. "I've graded your essays," Tuten continues. "So when I call one of the names in your team, put your hands up and I'll bring it over. Martinheim?"

A terrible thought occurs to me as I stare at Wolf's empty chair. Evergreen State College is still within the drop/add period. For a couple more days, anyway. What if Wolf dropped the class? The thought makes sick. Sicker than I already feel. I don't know what I'd do if he dropped it.

Wolf is the reason I look forward to this class. He has the warmest black eyes I've ever seen. The cutest crooked smile. The most ripped body... I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe he didn't give me some notice. Some warning. I deserve that much. How could he be so cruel? How could he be so –?

Wolfgang strides in as Tuten calls, "Saynt-Rae!"

"Give it here," Wolf says. The professor hands him the essay. Wolf winks from across the room as he comes over. Tossing himself in his seat, he grins over at me, his crooked smile hotter than a blazing fire. "Thought you'd never see me again?"

"Of course not!" I lie through my teeth. "How'd we do?"

Wolf frowns down at the paper then glances at me. "Hmm," he ponders, "says at the top, 'While the essay is well conceived and constructed, the scratch on the paper is so unearthly and disjointed I can only assume the person doing the writing had some mild form of dysgraphia.' We got a C," Wolf adds. "'For the poor penmanship,' it says."

"I don't believe you!" I swipe the essay from him. Retrieving it, I notice the sprawling B across the top. At the bottom are only two words. 'Very imaginative.' I scowl over at Wolf, who is grinning crookedly. "Scoundrel," I tell him. "'Very imaginative,'" I repeat darkly. "Sounds like a dig."

"Probably is," Wolf says carelessly. "But hey, we got a B!"

My eyes take in the title: _Werewolves: The Sworn Protectors_. I wonder... "Want to hang out after class?" I ask him. I'm trying hard to sound casual. "I've got some free time before History."

Wolf looks surprised, but more pleased. "Sure thing," he says. "You know I've got time. Only taking one class, remember?"

The clouds have cleared. So has my headache. The sky yields to clarity as it serenades our steps with a breeze and the occasional leaf for whose tree autumn has come early.

Wolf and I are walking to Red Square. Hoisting my weightless backpack on my shoulder, I feel weightless, too.

Glancing at my companion, I'm dazzled by smooth, russet skin and full, maroon lips. He's so cute! I don't care what Dad says – I can have guy friends if want to. Now I think of it, my social life isn't that bad. I have _two_ friends now: Kiri and Wolf. Then there's Gabriel, whatever the hell he is to me. Still haven't figured him out.

"You're quiet," Wolf says, black eyes sweeping me. "Did you want to show me around campus? Because I know where stuff is. I live here!"

Eyeing him coldly, I stow my grin as best I can. "No, Wolf! I didn't want to show you around campus. I know you live here. I think you know perfectly well why I want to hang out with you."

"Oh no," Wolf says, his expression caving. "I – is it that obvious?" He's looking anxious. Embarrassed, even.

"Kind of," I tell him. "Let's find somewhere to sit."

Leading him to one of the wrought iron tables around Red Square, I sit and Wolf follows suit. The table is one of those metallic ones where the chairs are attached at the bottom. I always find these tables uncomfortable. Fitting, as this is going to be an uncomfortable conversation.

"You know?" His voice is small.

"How could I not?" I ask him. "It was so obvious from day one. Well – day two, actually. But still – it was right there in front of me. From the way you were acting I thought you wanted me to know, Wolf. You were letting it slip every second. How ignorant do you think I am?"

"It's not like that," Wolf says hoarsely. His tone is drenched in defeat. "I – I don't think you're ignorant or anything. I should have assumed you'd guess. I wish I figured out a way to do it tactfully."

I shake my head. Poor dude. I'm shaming him unnecessarily. "It's hard to be tactful with something like this."

"Totally agree," he says. Abashed, his russet cheeks are glowing red. "Not for a lack of trying, Nora. Never for a lack of trying. Not on my part. I wish I said it when I should have. Back when we were writing that essay together. I'm surprised we scraped a B. My essay was pathetic. Pretentious and verbose. I was trying to impress you with it. Even now I want to impress you."

Geez, he's so shy about it.

"You do impress me."

_Come on, Wolf!_ My alter ego shouts at him. _Out with it!_

_Relax_ , I tell her, _give him space._

"So that's that," I say, freeing a slow smile. "I know now. We can put secrets behind us and get on with life."

Black eyes are upon me. "I'd love that, Nora. No more secrets. Everything out in the open. You know," he adds, a cautious grin spreading across his features, "I'm glad you're taking this so well. I thought you'd reject me outright. Cast me away like a bad dog. I'm glad you're cool with it."

Who does he think I am? A terrible person?

"Reject you outright?" I repeat in shock. "Never! I could never do that to someone as sweet as you." He blushes hugely at this. "To be honest," I continue, "I'm starting to believe just about everything, no matter how crazy. Not long ago I'd have considered you ridiculous. Actually, I still consider you ridiculous."

"You do?" His voice falters as his demeanor deflates. "I – I don't think I deserve that," he remarks, his voice dusted with aggravation. "I've got my heart on my sleeve here and you're making fun of me!"

"No, Wolf!" I say hastily, back treading. "Nothing like that! What did you expect me to think? This is so weird! _You're_ so weird! You have to admit it to yourself. You're odd. _Different_ , Wolf! You have to own it to live it!"

Wolf is shaking his head, black eyes wide. He slumps back and stares at me like he's never seen me before, the radiating warmth of those black eyes growing cold. "You are cruel, Nora," he tells me, his voice laced with shock. "You have a cruel heart to say those things. Here I am telling you I like you – like you _a lot_ , in fact – and you throw it back in my face and laugh. Calling me weird. _Different_."

"I'm not –" Then his words dawn on me. "Oh," I breathe.

_Shitballs, Nora_ , narrates my alter ego. _You're so fucking stupid._

"You like me?"

He stares at me, eyes widening but keeping safe distance. Like a dog afraid of being walloped. "You're making fun of me again, aren't you?" he asks, gazing above my head. "Rubbing it in."

"I'm the idiot!" I exclaim. To which he meets my eyes, surprised. "I'm the one who misunderstood everything!"

"What are you saying?" Wolf sounds annoyed, as if thinking I'm going to pull one over on him again. I never did to begin with.

"You're a werewolf!"

Black eyes wide, Wolf stares at me in horror. A flush is reddening his cheeks. Then, slowly, he licks full, maroon lips.

Silence.

" _I_ am the idiot," he says. "I made _that_ too obvious too, didn't I? Stupid essay!"

I nod. "It was sort of obvious. You kept saying 'We' instead of 'They'. I thought you wanted me to know. Wanted me to guess. Wanted me to say it aloud to get it over with. Was I right or wrong?"

Warmth returning to his eyes, Wolf stares in the direction of the Daniel J. Evans library. He says, "you're right. I wanted you to guess. Our law says I'm not allowed to give myself away directly. If someone finds out on their own it's different."

"See?" I tell him, a grin breaking across my face. "You _are_ odd. You _are_ weird. You're a werewolf, sworn to protect humans."

Wolf is frowning at me. He crosses muscular arms. "Now you know everything," he says dissonantly. "You know I like you _and_ you know I'm a werewolf. I _do_ like you, Nora. Very much. I want you to be –"

"Come on!" I interrupt loudly. "Let's go for a walk!"

Getting up from the wrought iron table, we walk around the outskirts of Red Square. The day is flying by. Soon I'll have to run off to History 145. I'd rather walk around Red Square with Wolfgang.

"What's it like?" I ask him. "Being a werewolf?"

"Voice down," he says, but he's grinning. "It's – uh – _stressful_ in this part of the country. The Olympic Peninsula is infested with vampires. There's always a worry of humans being attacked. If a vampire slays a human in western Washington it's personal for us werewolves. We are the sworn protectors in these parts."

I brush my hair over my ear. "Must be hard."

"You humans are very delicate creatures," Wolf remarks. "Trying to save you from a vampire is like trying to save grass from a rhino. But we try. No werewolf alive swore an oath to protect humans. It was done many hundreds of years ago. Point is it was done. So this is the life I lead. I would have no other."

"I think it's noble," I tell him, smiling into dark eyes. "Selfless!"

He smiles crookedly at me. "I like that. _Selfless_. We are selfless creatures, we werewolves. There aren't many selfless races out there. Not among superhumans. Some are terrible. Guess which is the most selfish?"

"Of superhumans?" I can't give away how much I know. "Zombies," I answer. "They want to bite you."

"So do vampires," Wolf says. "Not zombies. Wizards! They are the worst! The most powerful superhumans. Unfortunately they know it. They make a point of terrorizing all others, including my kind."

I'm taken aback by this. I can't see Gabriel terrorizing... hold that thought. Yes I can. I can totally see him terrorizing lesser superhumans. I wonder if his sadistic will to destroy is more inclusive than I previously thought. Maybe it's not just vampires. The thought brings me no joy.

"So wizards exist?" I'm getting pretty good at playing stupid.

_Trouble is you aren't playing_ , points out my alter ego.

_Shut up_ , I tell her. _Fucking bitch._

Wolf scowls at me. "Yes, sadly. They don't like werewolves. They think we're clumsy, stupid beasts!"

I open my mouth to refute this but then I remember Gabriel expressing that exact opinion. "That's terrible," I say instead. "They sound like a bunch of ignoramuses. Why don't the werewolves rise up and slay the wizards?"

It's fun playing devil's advocate.

Wolf breathes his frustration. "If only we could! They are stronger than us! If we could somehow steal their wands away it would be easy. A wizard is useless without his wand, whereas we wolves have our weapons built in. But that's probably a wizard's only weakness. They are formidable."

"What would you do if you met one?"

_You sly thing_ , says my alter ego.

_Look who's talking!_ I respond.

"Kill it!" Wolf growls. "I'd bite and claw its face until it died!" For a moment he looks fearsome, his crooked smile housing sharp, jagged teeth.

Oh geez! Best keep Gabriel away.

"Good thing none of them are around here," I remark. Am I being too obvious? Probably. "You'd make a huge mess!"

He nods.

A revelation. "I get it!" I exclaim. "I get why your mom has a sense of humor now! Wolfgang! Oh wow, I – I feel dumb!" I exhale, an enormous smile breaking across my face as I look up at him.

Wolf roars with laughter, making people around Red Square look over from their unconformable, wrought iron tables. "That's the joke," he says, black eyes twinkling warmly. "I'm not German. I'm a wolf!"

"What's your last name?"

"Ronfaro," he says.

I swipe my brown hair over my ear. "Wolfgang Ronfaro – I like it! Well, I've got to go learn about the American Revolution. When should we meet again, Wolfgang Ronfaro? Sooner or later?"

"Sooner." Full, maroon lips are carving the words into me. "Much, _much_ sooner, if I get my way."

* * *

I arrive on time to History 145: The American Revolution. I already don't care. My thoughts are too preoccupied with muscular, russet arms and full, maroon lips to worry about schoolwork. Taking my seat, I watch the final stragglers enter.

Dr. Blakely is looking more aged than usual today. His tufty gray hair is disheveled. But he seems in high spirits. "Welcome back to class," he says to everyone. "I trust you had a good weekend. How is everybody liking _1776_? It's a good book, isn't it? Wasn't I right? Come on now!"

Nobody answers.

I check my weightless backpack. I didn't bring the book to class, let alone read it! Hastily, I grab a pen and notepad and set them on the desk. I can pretend I'm taking notes. Sometimes the entire goal is to avoid looking like a moron.

_You're failing_ , my alter ego comments.

"Let's get the class involved," Dr. Blakely says.

_Shitballs!_ Not this again!

"I will take volunteers," Dr. Blakely tells the class. "Anyone find anything interesting about the book they'd like to share? This is – I must say – a recent depiction of those early years of the war. Came out five years ago or so. Anyone?" he asks, looking around. "We haven't got all day!"

Trying to avoid eye contact.

"Very well," Dr. Blakely says. "I will get us started. I was fascinated to see McCullough treat one of his subjects with more care than history has shown this individual in the past. Does anyone know who I'm referring to?"

A girl raises her hand. "George Washington?"

"No, no, no!" Dr. Blakely answers, looking harassed. "Think now! History has always painted a glowing portrait of our first president. No – I'm referring to King George III of England, the reigning monarch during the revolution. Only 22 when ascending to the throne and only 37 when the revolution began, King George has often been portrayed as a mad failure. The king who lost the colonies! McCullough is gentle and treats him as a person with intricacies and tastes in art and music. We are able to see him as a human being rather than just a tyrant. Another point I found interesting was –"

My eyelids are drooping. This class needs to end...

* * *

Walking back to my dorm, I realize something. I've lost a lot of weight. I'm not surprised. I haven't been eating. My appetite has completely dried up. It used to be I'd pass the dining hall and feelings of guilt would assault me. Now the thought of food disgusts me. I'm happy to keep walking.

Alcohol, though... I still have a taste for that.

This morning I felt sick. Not because of my anxiety syndrome or whatever, but because of heavy drinking last night. My hangover is past and I feel fit and fresh. I'm not anxious. I'm not hungry. I feel great. It's all so strange.

What about Wolf? Geez, I love his name. Wolfgang Ronfaro. It's so – so _hot_. I do find him cute. But somehow I feel he'll always be a friend to me. Nothing more. There's a quality about him that forbids romance.

_What's that, exactly?_ my alter ego asks. _That body of muscle? Those russet cheeks?_

I'm growing hot. _Shut up_ , I tell her. _Stay out of this!_

Reaching dorm building C, I climb the stairs. My thoughts are still buzzing with werewolves and wizards as I enter my room and toss my weightless backpack on the bed. I love coming back to my dorm – a world of calm settles over me every time.

Going to the hanging mirror on my closet door, I gaze into my eyes. They are dulled by my contacts. They tend to be too bright. I feel self-conscious going out without dulling them. Bizarre. It's something I first noticed a week or two before moving to Evergreen. A symptom of anxiety.

Yet I appear healthy. My skin radiates vitality and strength even though I've lost weight. My hair is full and healthy on my scalp. I feel alert and able. Despite my recent foray into anorexia I don't feel weak. On the contrary, I feel strong. Stronger – in fact – than I've ever felt in my life.

I douse myself in perfume. This is a normal ritual for me – it makes me feel at home. Soaked in the smell, I breathe in contentment and sit down at my desk. Picking up my iPad, I scroll through the book titles. I already finished _The Great Gatsby_. I should buy _Sordello_ on here, too. I make a half hearted attempt to find it. Truth is I don't want to find it. It's a terribly long poem.

I don't find _Sordello_.

Sighing, I gaze at Kiri's and my shared mini fridge. Kiri may have a spare bottle of champagne in there. I've got nothing better to do. Maybe I should have a drink? Going to the fridge I find a bottle of white wine. I pop the cork and find one of Kiri's stemmed glasses. Pouring myself a glass, I sit down.

Feeling contented, I take a long sip of wine before smacking my lips. An extremely loud popping sound emanates. Startled, I freeze.

What the fuck?

I can't have been _that_ loud. Maybe... no! I'm being paranoid. It can't have been. Taking the bottle of wine, I top myself off. I'm lifting the glass to my lips when I feel a cool breath on the back of my neck.

It's then I realize I'm not alone.

## Chapter Six

"Early for a drink, isn't it?" Gabriel's voice is soothing and mocking at the same time. "Or were you expecting company?"

Freezing in shock, I tighten my hold on the wine glass, refusing to look around.

He's here! How did he get in?

I breathe before answering. "I knew you were coming, Gabriel. So I decided to fortify myself with alcohol."

"I see," he murmurs in my ear. "I'm _sure_ you will share."

Turning around, I gaze into turquoise eyes. "Why," I begin, my tone antagonizing, "Should I be hospitable to somebody who breaks into my room? I will have to look in the college rulebook. This has to be a misdemeanor of some sort. You'll be expelled! I suggest you start packing!"

"You're a naughty one, Nora," Gabriel says, wagging a finger at me. "Expulsion? I'd like to see them try – no – I'd _love_ to see them try!" Finding the pocket of his cordovan robes, he pulls out his wand. "I don't like attacking humans," he says, twirling his wand expertly. "Unlike vampires and werewolves, you humans are almost defenseless. But I _will_ if I have to," he adds dangerously.

I'm trying to appear unimpressed. Turning around in my chair, I sip my wine daintily. "Well," I begin, "if you wouldn't mind leaving. I'd like to finish my alcoholic beverage in peace. Good day, Gabriel!" I can hardly keep the glee from my voice. Here's something he's not used to: being ignored.

He isn't going anywhere. I knew he wouldn't. Swiping a spare glass from Kiri's desk, Gabriel pours himself white wine. I can feel his eyes on me. The nerve of him! How dare he waltz in here!

_Stop lying to yourself!_ my alter ego quips. _You know you like it._

_Hush_ , I tell her. _I'm in no mood for the truth!_

Silence between us. I hear him behind me on Kiri's bed. He's refusing to speak first. How childish! What kind of a grown man behaves this way – sneaking into peoples' rooms? Oh right – I correct myself – he's _not_ a grown man. He's seventeen.

"How did you get in?"

A wine glass is set on Kiri's desk. "I translocated. I'm a wizard, Nora," he reminds me unnecessarily. "Most wizards can do it. _Translocation_ is the process of disappearing from one place and appearing in another. In the magical word, wizards and witches aren't allowed to translocate until they are fifteen. I started at thirteen," he adds, his tone thick with steaming pride.

Geez, he's so fucking full of himself!

"Fascinating," I say sarcastically. I am fascinated, actually. "One question: Why did you take a cab here on the first day? Why didn't you translocate into your dorm? Surely it would have been easier," I tell him, heightening my tone so as to question his intelligence. I like baiting him. It's fun.

"Good point," he says. "I considered doing that but figured I should act like an Immag now that I'm in your world. _Temporarily_ , thank god! I can't tolerate your numbskull ways for life! I'd rather be drawn and quartered!"

Now _he's_ the one baiting me. I deserve it.

"Numbskull ways?" I repeat, turning around to face him. "You must be mistaken. It's _wizards_ that are of lower intelligence. Imagine being so useless you need magic to survive! Immags are the geniuses! _Ingenious_. The word to describe everything we've come up with to live without magic!"

Gabriel sips his wine and regards me over the rim of the glass. Downing the remainder, he plops the glass on Kiri's desk. "Come with me," he says, the turquoise of his eyes finding the window. "I want to show you something. _Someone_ , rather. She will show you we, too, have ingenious ways."

Who is he referring to?

"I have studying to do," I say quickly.

I actually want to go. But more than that I want _him_ to want me to go. To plead with me to go. To tell me nothing else can make his day complete. I want him to tell me it's been too long since we've seen each other and every moment away has been painful. I want him to say these things and mean them.

"Yeah, right!" Gabriel exclaims. "Homework. That's why you were polishing off a bottle of wine when I translocated here. How's studying coming?"

_Holy bejesus shitballs!_ He's got me by the shitballs.

"It's not coming," I say. "If you leave I can start."

Oh come on, Gabriel! Tell me how much you'd love for me to come and I will. That's all I require! I swear!

"You are coming," Gabriel tells me. Finality in his voice. "So down that glass or leave it. The forest calls."

The forest? What could the forest want with me?

"Should I bring an umbrella or my raincoat?" I ask uncertainly, peeping through the window. Clear skies. Oh, that's right.

"No need," Gabriel says airily. "I can deal with rain."

Oh can you, now?

Sighing my resignation, I stand up. "Okay, I'll come," I tell him. "This better be worth it, Gabriel. I should be reading _Sordello_."

"Studying was never going to happen."

I scowl but don't contradict him. He knows me too well. Without a word, I pass his satisfied smile and go to the bathroom, grabbing my perfume on the way out. It's tempting to spray his face.

Checking myself in the mirror, I see a harassed girl. At least her headache is gone and she looks pretty. Pale skin peeps around locks of straight brown hair. Taking my contacts out, I soak them in faucet water and replace them. For the second I don't have them in I'm shocked by the ferocity of my eyes. I look downright fevered.

* * *

The day outside is as clear and peaceful as I left it. Approaching late afternoon, the sky reveals a tint. The sight is beautiful to behold above the far off trees, sugaring our eyes with the promise of autumn.

Dorm building C is near the northerly tree fringe. If you press on in a northwest direction you hit Eld Inlet and the scenic, secluded little beach. You know. The one where I almost died. We strike off due west, following the tree fringe.

Gabriel walks alongside me, his thoughts stowed. I glance at him, at the hand rising to brush his blond hair to the side of his forehead. At the casual way his cordovan robes fall around him as he walks. There's a competency about him I can't place. A confident knowing in his movements.

"You're quiet," he says.

"So are you," I reply.

He's silent for a moment. "I'm thinking."

"About what?" I have a guess.

"Vampires," he answers. I was right. "Or _a_ vampire, I should say. Nora, have I told you why I'm here?"

I stare into turquoise eyes. "Of course," I answer. Has he forgotten already? He doesn't seem to find our conversations memorable. "You are here to kill vampires," I tell him. "You told me."

"Yes, but specifically," he follows up. "Did I _specifically_ tell you why I'm here in Olympia?"

"I thought that's why."

"That _is_ why," he says. "Broadly speaking. The Bureau of Beast Control sent me here to hunt vampires. But also to find a specific vampire who is the first Newborn vampire in a long time. The werewolf clans around the Olympic Peninsula have to _some_ extent done their job of protecting humans. Human attacks have become rare. But one was recently reported in Washington, and the Bureau of Beast Control believes the new vampire will likely head for the Olympic Peninsula."

I blink my confusion. "I don't understand," I tell him. "Why should the Bureau care if there's one more vampire? Why is that reason enough to send you here when the werewolves have it under control?"

Gabriel frowns. "Obviously they don't," he remarks, "if a human has been attacked. For each state there's a vampire limit the Bureau of Beast Control deems cannot be exceeded. Washington State, while always vampire infested because of the Peninsula, has fallen short of the limit till now. Till this most recent Newborn. The Bureau sent me to sort the situation out. Kill the Newborn," he adds, cracking his knuckles.

"Why do you have to kill the Newborn?" I ask nervously. "Can't you kill any vampire you come across until the limit is no longer exceeded?"

Gabriel shakes his head. "Newborns, Nora, are among the most deadly of vampires. They have a tendency to get terribly, terribly thirsty. If there is a Newborn in the area, he _must_ die."

I shudder. The expression on Gabriel's face is crazed. Frightening. Best distract him. "What is the limit, anyway?"

"Twelve vampires," he answers, "for Washington State. The limit is set by the Bureau and depends on the geography and size of the region. Washington has been at twelve forever. The coven up north has a history of killing the thirteenth vampire to keep the Bureau away. They fear us," he says with satisfaction. "I guess thirteen got away this time. Now they will feel my wrath."

"You're going to kill more of them?"

Turquoise eyes are aflame. "Do you know me at all, Nora?" he asks, but doesn't wait for an answer. "I have a license to kill, maim, and torture sub Purids – that's any living thing that's not a Purid blood wizard or witch – given to me by the Bureau of Beast Control. It means I can kill all the vampires I want," he says, looking delighted. "I intend to! I want to kill them all, Nora. Not just the Newborn. _All_ of them."

Blood is running cold through my veins. The force of his hate is enveloping our steps. I feel it in the ground. I feel it in the air. I feel it inside me, pumping through me like my own, chilled blood.

"I'm sure not _all_ vampires are bad," I say. "Think about it. Not all could have wanted to become vampires. For some it was an accident – they got bitten and couldn't help it. Do they deserve to die?"

"Yes," Gabriel answers at once, not missing a beat. "There is no such thing as an innocent vampire. Almost all of them have attacked a human. Whether they are smart enough to finish the human off or let him become the thirteenth vampire is a different matter. Lack of oversight is stupidity. Vampires are beyond stupid, Nora – they're an evil, wretched, parasitical creation! Our world must be rid of them!"

I shake my head. "You're a hypocrite."

"How?" he asks in frustration, gazing over at me, eyes flashing. "How am I a hypocrite?"

"When we were going to the beach," I begin, "you told me you think it's terrible the Puridite Movement has made efforts to segregate wizards from Immags. You said it's imperative for the races to join or else wizards will die out in the United States. Yet here you are denouncing a separate race for their supposed failings! For their unwilled victimization! How can you not see it?"

"That's different!" Gabriel says angrily. "Immags are not beasts. They are lesser than wizards, but –"

"Oh, I see!" I exclaim, stopping and raising my voice to match his. "We humans _are_ lesser thans? I guess we're included in that 'sub Purid' category of creature you have a license to kill, maim, and torture?"

"You are, actually," Gabriel says. "But I didn't mean –"

I'm not listening. He's clearly lost his head. "I think I finally get you," I tell him. "Every other creature – Immag, vampire, werewolf – is subordinate to your race. You really believe that, don't you?"

We stare each other down.

"Yes," he says.

Closing my eyes, I shake my head. "You're wrong," I say. "You're so wrong, Gabriel." I turn away. "I'm going home."

"Wait!" Gabriel says, catching my arm. "I didn't mean... I'm sorry, Nora!"

His turquoise eyes are apologetic. Mine are unforgiving. "You're a bigot," I tell him. "Admit you're a fucking bigot and I'll stay."

Gabriel gestures wildly, upset. "I – _you_ – fine!" he says, flustered. "Fine! I'm a bigot! Have it your way! Will you stay now?"

I'm trying not to appear too pleased. "For the time being," I say. "No promises later. Now take me to whoever we're meeting. I'm losing patience with you!"

He's eyeing me warily. "No more talk of dominant races, I promise."

"Hey!"

"I said _dominant_ – not better than!" he states quickly, a trace of a smile gracing his lips. "Relax, Nora!"

"You're the one who needs to relax," I tell him. "Relax your excitement for murderous rampages. You sound like a lunatic, Gabriel."

He guides me forward. I let him despite being incensed by his comments about Immags. For the time being I let it go, because I am curious about whom we're going to meet. Could it be another wizard? Or a witch – he said _she_. I can't know. My excitement is unrestrained as we press on.

The tree fringe is long and winding. To the left are school buildings and students bothering to travel on designated walkways. We're too cool for that. I glimpse Red Square coming up. Here's where we turn right if we're going to the beach. Evidently we're not going to the beach.

Silence. Gabriel is in a ponderous mood. Maybe he's punishing me for my outburst. I don't blame him – I did call him a bigot. He _is_ a bigot. Still, my heart reaches out for my stoically silent companion.

Reaching my hand, I take his. It tenses on contact, then relaxes to the feeling of my touch. I gaze into turquoise eyes, my own forgiving. Offering me a sideways grin, Gabriel shakes his head and continues on, his hand calmly and contently holding mine. I'm so glad he didn't pull away.

Passing the Daniel J. Evans library, we arrive at the western-most tree fringe. Here Gabriel stops and pulls his hand from mine to swipe his blond hair to the side of his forehead. I gaze around, puzzled.

Why did he bring me here?

"I dare say I've brought you to meet somebody you've already met," Gabriel says. "I want to reinforce the point we wizards are crafty creatures – _not_ disabled, like you so callously suggested. When you inferred wizards need magic to right a handicap I took it personally, Nora. We're here to disprove you."

"Gabriel," I sigh, "I didn't mean –"

"It's okay," he interrupts, holding up his hand. "I know you didn't. I wanted to show you, anyway."

Sticking fingers in his mouth, he adjusts them before letting forth a long, low whistle. The sound is eerie. It makes me want to run for fear a monster will arrive. My fears are misplaced. A monster does not arrive. But an animal does.

Merrifeather, the snowy white owl, comes swooping out of the trees to rest on Gabriel's outstretched arm. Turning to face me with the owl firmly planted, Gabriel beams at me. "Expecting someone else?"

"Merrifeather?" I gasp in surprise, staring into huge amber eyes. "Merrifeather is who you brought me to see?"

Nodding once, Gabriel reaches into the pocket of his cordovan robes and pushes his wand aside to find some owl treats. "For a while I was keeping her cooped up in my room," he explains. "Letting her fly at night. But you know Merri – she hates hunting at night. You're a weird owl, aren't you?" he asks her adoringly, stroking her snowy feathers. "Yes you are! Yes you are!"

Staring at them together, I almost want to laugh. I hold it back. Instead, I approach the owl gingerly and pet her fine feathers. "So now you're letting her be a free owl?" I ask him. "Or do you collect her every night?"

"Free owl," he answers. "Except when I need her." He feeds her an owl treat, which she hastily gobbles up.

"What do you mean?"

His boyish charm seems replenished by the owl – the deadly, murderous Gabriel of ten minutes ago nowhere in sight. "I'm glad you asked me," he says. "Merri is an example of the _genius_ of wizards. She is nothing less than a trained hunting owl. She's brilliant at finding vampires. She tells me where they are," he adds delightedly. "Comes in use when your stupid Bureau gives you a broken Vampass."

Amber eyes close as I pet her feathers. "Does she also _hate_ vampires?" I ask, stressing the word. "Animals can't be as unjust as wizards."

"She doesn't hate them like I do," Gabriel says, unabashed. "She doesn't like them, either. She's too adept at finding them for me for that," he explains. "Merri's also a Releaser, indirectly speaking."

"How does she find them?" I wonder aloud. "I guess flight helps."

Swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead, he nods. "Flight helps. But there are other ways. Vampires have a strong scent and she picks it up. Oh, and their eyes are a dead giveaway. Obvious."

I wonder how many vampire murders Merrifeather has assisted Gabriel in committing. Actually, I don't want to think about it. Unpleasant to think a creature so beautiful and appearing so gentle could be so vicious. Putting it from my mind, I ask, "Why are vampire killers called Releasers?"

"Simple," Gabriel says. "We _release_ a vampire's soul into the void to go where it will. Free it of its wretched cage. Our title came under scrutiny after the Puridite Movement. Many argued vampires don't have a soul, so it can't be released. I happen to agree, but I'm not making a fuss about it."

"It's kind of insensitive," I tell him.

He laughs, making Merri's head swivel around. "Insensitive?" he repeats. "I think vampires are more incensed by being killed in droves than by the title of their killers. But who cares. They get what they deserve."

He says it with no reserve, no self doubt, and no inclination that he might be wrong.

Sounding a low hoot, Merri launches from her master's arm. She flies into the trees before circling back slowly. Gabriel is staring at his owl, the expression on his face one of impulsive excitement.

"What is it?"

"She wants us to follow her. She's found something."

I gasp the autumn air. "A vampire?"

"Could be," he answers. "Probably. She rarely leads me to anything else. I told her to look around."

I feel hot. The blood running through my veins boiling. I'm no stranger to this feeling. Excitement! It's coursing through me, lighting my every synapse. The possibility of this new frontier is upon me, and I can't wait to see what I'll find. Or what will find me! Eyes alight, I stare into Gabriel's.

"Time to hunt?" I ask him.

Gabriel doesn't answer for a moment. Instead, turquoise eyes follow the movements of his owl – still circling in the near trees, waiting for us to follow. He seems to be thinking hard about something. But as I watch him, I notice his expression change from elated to somber and serious.

"Time to hunt."

He's off. Striding through the tree fringe, Gabriel follows his owl at a swift pace. I stare after him for a moment, my brain dizzy with excitement. Then – remembering myself – I hurry to catch up with him. Nearly stumbling over a rock in the loam, I right myself and keep following.

Geez, he can move when he wants to!

"Wait up!" I call.

Gabriel turns back, his hand rising to swipe his blond hair to the side of his forehead. The expression on his face is of strained patience. Swooping in circles overhead, amber eyes judge my slow progress. My companion waits till I'm by his side before striking off again through the underbrush.

"Sorry," I say, "I got distracted."

He's silent. I notice his whole body seems tense, as though waiting for an invasion at any moment. Or else wanting to move faster than my clumsy steps will allow. I understand – hunting Gabriel and regular Gabriel are two different people. Now, as we plunge through the undergrowth behind Merrifeather, his senses seem outsourced. Prying as they are into the surrounding trees.

Several minutes of silence. Following the owl, our path obscured by root and branch, we travel onward.

My thoughts left unchecked, I feel a conflict rising in me. Not long ago I defended vampires. Saying they don't deserve to die, yet here I am assisting in the hunt. I wondered how many murders Merri assisted. Here I am doing the same thing!

_Shut it, Nora_ , my alter ego orders.

_No, I won't!_ I exclaim. _I need to be more self aware!_

She retorts, _Stop lying to yourself. You know you're having fun._

Geez, she's right. I am having fun!

Gabriel halts without warning. I look up at him in confusion. It takes Merri another moment to realize we've stopped. She's forced to circle back, hooting lightly. The owl must think we're painfully slow.

"What is it? Why are we stopped?"

Gabriel doesn't answer. His gaze is settled in the distance, a frown afflicting his face. Is he seeing something? Hopefully not a vampire.

Finding the pocket of his cordovan robes, Gabriel brings out a familiar sight. A device appearing exactly like a compass. When he opens it, a lone, blood-stained tooth is laying where the needle should be. The tooth swivels in all directions confused, like a road sign caught in a high wind.

"Fuck," Gabriel says. He snaps the Vampass shut again. "Still broken. Sometimes a charm goes lame then comes back," he tells me. "We're not so lucky. Looks like Merri will have to be our eyes and ears for now. In any case," he adds, his turquoise eyes calculating, "keep _yours_ open."

"I will," I say.

Stowing the Vampass back in his pocket, Gabriel continues along our unmarked path. I follow in his wake and overhead Merri pipes a hoot of recognition and swoops back into the lead, her snowy white plumage obvious against the trees. My hunting companion has fallen silent once more.

Afternoon is falling into evening. If we stay out much longer it will be dark. It will be me and Gabriel, alone in the woods at night with Merri. But if anyone can make me feel safe it's my wizard friend. No doubt his wand can fend off most big, muscular creatures. At least I hope it can.

"Am I in danger?" I ask.

Gabriel looks at me, his expression impermeable. "Yes," he answers. "I told you that you would be, remember? I said hunting is dangerous and you still wanted to come. How could it not be dangerous, Nora? We're trying to kill them, after all. Naturally they will be trying to kill us back."

" _I'm_ not trying to kill them," I correct. "That's all you."

Turquoise eyes glare at me. "I see. You're determined to be the innocent bystander, are you? Let me tell you something, Nora. There is no such thing as innocence in this world. It does not exist!"

I'm taken aback by the force of his words. For a moment he looks scary – his jaw set, turquoise eyes flaming. Where is the sweet, charming boy who was with me at the tree fringe? Gone. I wonder if he has multiple personality syndrome or whatever it's called. He's at least a likely candidate.

"I don't believe you," I tell him. "I think innocence _does_ exist. And I wasn't going to be a bystander. I was just going to, to –"

Eyebrows rise. "Yes?"

Oh shitballs!

"I don't know!" I yell. "But I'm not a murder –!"

A hand quickly covers my mouth. "Shh! Not so loud, Nora! We are approaching enemy territory." I moan dully into his hand and he releases it. "Wizards have the upper hand against vampires, Nora," he explains dutifully. " _Unless_ ambushed! Then the tables turn. Not in our favor!"

Sighing, I look up at him. "Sorry. Got carried away."

"Me too," he says. "Let's kill some vampires and go home."

I hear a stick break to my left.

Gabriel whips out his wand.

"What is it?" I gasp. "What's happening?"

He shakes his head, his wand trained on the spot where I heard the noise ten yards away. Offering a low hoot, Merri soars out of sight, leaving us behind. I stare after her incredulously. How can she abandon us now?

"Where is she going? Why is she leaving us?"

"She's not," Gabriel murmurs beside me, his eyes never leaving the place of disturbance. "She's circling around to attack it from behind. She's well trained," he adds, a spot of dissonance coloring his tone.

"Is it a vampire?" I whisper.

Gabriel shakes his head. Whether he's telling me 'no' or 'shut the fuck up' I can't tell. Probably the latter. Unmoving, we wait in silence for another sound. None come. Gabriel appears unconcerned. His gaze sweeps the woodlands.

Merri comes swooping over the undergrowth from the direction we heard the noise. Flapping lightly, she settles herself on her master's outstretched arm. Amber eyes stare into turquoise and blink rapidly, her head swiveling around with dizzying speed. They seem to be communicating.

"She's picked up a scent," Gabriel tells me over Merri's hooting. "Vampire – she's sure. It was here a split second ago. Then gone. Heading northwest. She's going to continue tracking it," he says, raising his arm. "Off with you, my love," he says as Merri launches from him to fly over the trees and out of sight.

I watch her go, my nerves calming. My excitement, too. The vampire sure didn't stick around long. Maybe he didn't like what he saw. Maybe he knew he couldn't take on a fully trained wizard.

_It would have been an ambush, though_ , my alter ego observes.

_Good point_ , I respond. _I wonder if..._

"There's something you're not telling me," I say to Gabriel. Actually, I have no idea if this is true. "I want to know what it is. If we're going to be accomplices on this mission, I deserve to know!"

_Nice little speech_ , my alter ego says.

I raise my eyebrows at her. She's so rarely complimentary.

Gabriel is moving, his steps swift. I catch up to him, determined to know what's happening. How does he move so fast through the forest? How come his robes never catch on a branch or twig?

_Duh, stupid_ , says my alter ego. _Magic!_

There she is.

"I could tell you," Gabriel says, his wand held aloft. "But it's pretty obvious. For one thing, it involves _you_."

I stare at him.

_Oh fuck!_ I should have guessed!

"I'm the bait," I say. No trace of a question.

Gabriel doesn't smile, but the corners of his mouth quirk up. "You were always going to be," he says. "Why do you think I allowed you to come? To stress _me_ out more? No thanks! You're here to help me. But," he adds upon seeing my dejected expression, "I promise you won't get hurt."

"I better not get hurt," I tell him. "Or else you'll be sorry!"

Mercifully he does not laugh.

"We're not staying out all night, are we?"

His expression is noncommittal. "Don't worry," he says. "My wand can give us light. We'll be fine."

I gesture my dissonance, my voice turning to a whine. "I have class tomorrow! There's studying I haven't done yet! I – I don't like the woods at night," I add quickly, blushing scarlet. "It scares me."

Turquoise eyes glance in my direction. He's going to laugh at me. Please don't laugh at me, Gabriel! He doesn't laugh.

Instead, he takes my hand. Squeezes it once.

"You're safe with me, Nora," he says warmly. "Believe me. I didn't study my ass off for five years at Magasant and another in Scotland so you can be afraid. I'll protect you from vampires _and_ the dark."

Blushing fit to burst, I smile at the ground. "What's Scotland like?" I'm asking to distract him from my tomato face.

"Cold," he answers, leading me forward – one hand grasping his wand, the other mine. "Cold and old – the history there is breathtaking. Not centuries but millennia. It's hard to imagine in the states. I loved my years at Magasant more than anything. But our school can't compare to the majesty of –"

"What was that?" I gasp.

He squeezes my hand anxiously. "Where?"

"Up ahead. Movement in the trees!"

We're silent, staring ahead. Nothing happens. Nothing appears. Gabriel is tense. I feel it through his hand. I realize it's _not_ a false alarm. Merri is nowhere in sight. It will be the two of us against what awaits.

I look into turquoise eyes. They're not worried. They are excited. Determined. "It's here," Gabriel whispers. "The vampire is here. It circled back to avoid Merrifeather. Keep moving, Nora," he instructs, pulling me forward by the hand. "It can't know we know. Not yet."

I can't help but notice Gabriel fails to belittle the tracking abilities of his owl. I respect him for it. "What are we going to do?" I whisper as we walk, pretending to be unawares. "What's the plan?"

A moment passes. "We're going to play a little game."

"What kind of game?"

"Oh, I don't know," Gabriel says, winking down at me. "I'm thinking something similar to capture the flag. We'll put a flag out in the open and wait for the devil. When it comes for the flag, I'll attack."

Dread fills me. Because I know the answer to my question. "Gabriel, what's going to be the flag?"

"You," he says.

I'm right. "I'm not sure I want this," I tell him. "It sounds dangerous." Actually – I can't say why – I'm _not_ afraid for some reason. Not afraid of being attacked. Not afraid of being bitten. I've gone insane.

"You will be fine," Gabriel says, failing to make eye contact with me and instead looking into the trees. "We need to get you properly positioned. Ah," he adds, pointing ahead, "a clearing. Perfect!"

Despite my recent spout of bravery, Gabriel is clearly more relaxed than I am. The casualness with which he talks of me being an offering is something to be admired. Its loftiness I could never achieve.

"Are you sure the vampire doesn't know you're with me?" I ask Gabriel. "Seems like he would have noticed."

"He's noticed," is the quiet answer. "The trick is to make him think I've gone. We need to get you set up with a campfire. Make it look like you're setting yourself up for the night. Then he'll come. He'll wait till you're cozy and less alert. Then pounce. But so will I," he reassures me.

"You better."

Reaching the clearing we come to a halt. "Step back," he instructs. "I want to do this neatly." Pointing his wand at the ground in the middle of the clearing, he murmurs some spells. "Scalio, Nimballa, Hytholay, Safina," among them but I lose the rest. The words sound strange and foreign.

Rather than try and decipher their meanings, I watch what happens. For it's something to see. Rocks – big rocks, small rocks, tall rocks, flat rocks – are flying at us through the woods from every direction, circling us. I watch the circle get smaller and smaller until it's a circle on the ground.

A fireplace.

"Torgi," Gabriel says, pointing his wand at the fireplace. A fire erupts, showering the clearing with light. A good thing, too – we were nearly out of it. I have a sudden impulse to clap. I fight it off. It's important I don't look like a massive idiot right now. Not when Gabriel needs me.

Suggestively, Gabriel sits down by the fire. He stares at me till I realize I'm supposed to do the same. I sit next to him, wanting to feel the hot fire appreciatively. No sooner do I reach my hand to the flames than Gabriel intercepts it, squeezing me lightly. Turquoise eyes envelope my consciousness.

"Welcome to the magical world."

I'm enraptured by him. He can't know. "You haven't shown me anything yet."

He kisses me.

Not a wet, tongue kiss. A simple kiss on the lips. At the same time it's the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. The turquoise of his eyes so close. The blond of his side swept hair closer. The red of those lips tasting mine... So present. So wonderful. So intense.

His electricity filling me, I move backward an inch the better to look into his eyes. "Why did you stop?"

_Because you're ugly,_ answers my alter ego.

_A plague on your house!_ I yell at her.

Turquoise eyes dart over my head to survey the tree line. Absentmindedly, he swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "We're still in enemy territory," he tells me, eyes traveling my flushed face. "No matter what we must be careful. The vampire will wait till our guard is down."

My voice is a whisper. "Is he watching us?"

Gabriel smoothes my hair back, tucking it behind my ear. "I think so but I'm not sure," he says, his voice a murmur. "I can't see him. But I'm getting that old feeling of being watched."

To an observer, it looks like Gabriel and I are merely two lovers camping. But the subject of our conversation is deadlier than S'mores. I imagine a pair of eyes staring us through the darkening trees.

"Will you stay with me?" I beg him.

He shakes his head, continuing to play with my hair. "You know I can't. The devil will never present itself with me here. Don't worry, Nora – you _will_ be safe. Vampires have a nasty habit of playing with their dinner. It won't be an instant kill," he explains, his voice soothing as though this is calming.

"I –"

"Shh," Gabriel murmurs, raising his wand. "Never mind. Water?"

Geez, waiting around is not helping my anxiety!

"Position your hand as though holding a glass," he instructs me. "A little more," he says, adjusting my fingers, "Perfect. Aqui!" A glass appears in my ready hand and fills with water. "A useful spell," Gabriel says, grinning at my amazed expression. "I can make any drink at all. How about something stronger?"

If there's ever a time to binge it's before getting mauled by a ferocious vampire. But I shake my head. Raising the glass to my lips I drink deeply. Am I ready for this? I'm not sure. Time is slipping by. Gabriel seems to be waiting for something. "What are we waiting for?" I ask nervously.

"Nightfall," he answers, gazing into the sky. "When the stars reveal themselves I will leave you. Not really," he adds quickly, interpreting my alarm. "I will be close at hand. _Always._ In any case, you still have a friend – and a protector – nearby if you run into trouble. Can you guess who?"

My eyes are wide. "No idea."

"Merrifeather," Gabriel says. "She's been just in the woods for the last ten minutes. Waiting. Staying hidden. She can protect you, Nora. One piece of advice," he begins grandly, obviously trying to cheer me up, "Never – I mean never – underestimate Merri. She's been known to pull eyes from sockets two at a time. She only does that to vampires," he explains with a grin.

I can't think of a response. So I drink more water.

"Are you scared?" Gabriel asks.

Setting my glass beside the fire, I look into his face. "No. But I still don't want you to leave me. Is there any other way we can do this? Maybe circle around and chase his tail or something? Anything?"

"Nothing," he concludes. "This is how we finish the job tonight. You know," he begins as an afterthought, "back in the day I could have got you a special award from the Bureau of Beast Control for assisting in the killing of a vampire. But you know – since the Puridite Movement – Immags are no longer eligible for wizard awards. You're considered biologically _and_ chemically inferior."

Shoving him playfully, I ask, "Why would you tell me that? Why tell me once upon a time I could have got an award but now I can't? I like awards," I say randomly. "It's nice to feel desired."

Swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead, Gabriel grins at me. "You _are_ desired," he says, his hand wrapping around the back of my neck. "By not only me, unfortunately." His skin is tingly and electric to touch, but nothing – I mean nothing – compared to the thrumming pulse thrilling me when his lips sink to mine for a second time. Oh bliss! You sweet creature!

He kisses me lightly before withdrawing. Turquoise eyes are brighter than the fire they're reflecting, its heat pulsating inside me. I know what he's doing. He's building me up for the real thing. It's totally working – I can't wait! But as I look up at the sky I realize with dread that night has fallen.

"It's time."

"No," I murmur, eyes closed, trying desperately to hold onto the feeling of his lips on me. "Don't leave me."

Gabriel is lost for a moment, then he pulls himself together. "You have the fire," he says, standing. "It won't go out. You have me and Merri nearby under cover. We won't go out, either. We'll stay close – within watching distance. You will be fine, Nora. You are so effortlessly brave."

I have to think about that one for a moment before disagreeing.

Stretching my hands to the luminous flames, I warm them if not my heart. "Go, then," I tell him furiously.

_You poser_ , my alter ego says. _You don't mind – you're just being an opportunist_.

_Damn right I am_ , I answer.

"Leave me to be bitten and eaten, if that's what you want!"

"You _know_ I don't want that," is the exasperated answer. I find myself staring into angry eyes. "Damn it, Nora," he says, "don't you know I care about you? Don't you realize I _like_ you? Or have I been too secretive?"

I have to smile at this. Yes – I have noticed, actually. Perhaps it has something to do with him kissing me a second ago. "You have my permission to leave guilt-free," I tell him. "On one condition!"

He's looking wary. "What's that?"

I try to control my thumping heart. "One _real_ kiss – with tongue," I add by way of explanation. "Right here and now before you leave me to die. That's my condition. Take it or leave it."

The problem now is to keep my expression confident and determined as he comes to me, my heart rate increasing with his every step. The pocket of his cordovan robes accepts his wand. The turquoise of his eyes bathing me in bliss, he raises his hands to my face – his right circling around the back of my neck and his left brushing my right temple. His breathing is low. Intrepid.

Tightening his grip on me to forestall any escape, he leans in close. Kisses me once on the lips. No tongue. He withdraws. Blushing terribly, I stare into his eyes. I expect to see them dancing with mirth after this little joke. They're not. Instead, they are serious and as determined as my own.

"We're not ready. But soon, Nora. Soon."

I nod silently, staring at him.

He releases me. "Goodbye, Nora!" he says extremely loudly. "I will see you tomorrow. 1:30 at the bluffs, remember?"

Frowning in confusion, I open my mouth. Then close it. Oh, right.

_Idiot!_ deems my alter ego.

"Right!" I say as loudly but far less convincingly. "At the bluffs – 1:30 – got it. Stay safe and warm and, and _everything_."

"Will do," Gabriel responds, smiling hugely at me. "I _know_ you will," he adds, gesturing to the fire. "Thanks to me, no less. Keep an eye out for dangerous folk! They tend to infest the woods at night!"

The nerve!

"Yeah – fine," I say. Asshole. "Bye, then."

A loud pop sounds and he's gone. Translocated. Or whatever the hell it is. Magicked away, if magicked is a word. I shiver, for despite the roaring fire nearby I feel cold. I underestimated the warmth of Gabriel's presence. Can't be helped now. Sitting, I scoot closer to the fire and warm my hands.

Surprisingly, my thoughts don't fly to impending doom. They go to a cuddlier subject. How on earth did Gabriel get away with that? I said he couldn't leave till he gave me a French kiss and he didn't. He totally didn't. Then he left anyway. Maybe if I'd been more vigilant. Forced him to stay.

_Like you could force him to do anything_ , my alter ego scoffs. _Hardly!_

_Shut the fuck up_ , I tell her.

She quiets at once. Now I'm completely alone. With no Gabriel, Merri, or alter ego to keep me company.

_Shitballs!_ How did it come to this? Why me? Why now? Why everything?

Why didn't he kiss me? It baffles me. 'We're not ready' is what he said. What does that mean? _We_ as in me? Or _we_ as in him? Or _we_ as in both of us? I can't figure him out. Maybe he's a hopeless romantic who thinks a date or two should separate a first kiss and a real kiss. Somehow I doubt it.

Holy bejesus fuck!

What if Kiri is right! What if he's – uh – how did Kiri put it? A strawberry daiquiri? I giggle. It wouldn't be funny for long. If my wizard friend and potential lover turned out gay. It would totally make our future make out sessions a lot more awkward. Yet he _could_ be gay. He didn't want to french it with me...

But I can't imagine Gabriel being gay. He's not – not _something_ enough. For one thing, he's too murderous to be gay. Gays appear to be caring, peaceful people. Not Gabriel. He's not peaceful. Not with his vampire vendetta. Not with his life's work being to kill every vampire man, woman, and child. Lunacy.

Thoughts swimming in circles, I sit by the fire and bask in its glow. If only I could have all the answers. It would be amazing! Everything would be so simple! Sparks crackle and fly into the night. The far off hoot of an owl catches my ear. Geez, I hope that's not Merri! That's way too far away!

The heat of the fire and confusion of my thoughts pounding me, I sink into a stupor. Resting my head on my knee, I wrap my arms around myself and stare into the flames. My eyelids begin to droop.

* * *

"What's wrong?" I'm staring into pained faces.

Dad pulls a chair out from under the kitchen table. "Best sit down, Nora."

"Why?" I'm refusing to sit.

Dad is never _this_ somber.

Mom is watching him sit down with a strange expression on her face. I realize it's jealousy. _She_ should have pulled out the chair. "Just sit down, Nora," Mom says, her voice crooning exhaustion.

My eyes never leaving the pair of them, I sit down. "What's wrong?" I know something is. I can't help the panic in my voice. I can tell something's wrong from their demeanors. What? What have I done this time?

Mom and Dad are staring at each other expectantly. Mom stares harder. Dad looks away with a sigh. "Your – your Mom and I," he begins in a soothing voice, "Have... we've been discussing –"

"Just say it, Gene!" Mom yells at him.

"No!" Dad shouts across the table. "There's a right way and a wrong way to do this, Cindy! We are going to do it the right way!"

Mom never could be outdone.

She turns to me. "We're getting divorced."

* * *

"Wake up darling... wake up. Do wake up, sweetie."

A singsong voice is coming at me through a haze of years. I don't want to wake up. I don't want to wake up to this world. To a world where parents divorce and homes crumble around childhood bedrooms. I don't want any part of this world. No – I won't wake up. I don't want to.

"Wake up!"

My eyes slam open.

A woman is staring at me from across the fire.

## Chapter Seven

The first thing I notice is her eyes. Feverishly bright red. Her face is elegant with sloping cheeks and curved lips. This effect is dulled by the face paint that dances across her expression, making her look mad. She's wearing a revealing dress made from colorful feathers. The effect is startling.

"You're all alone aren't you, sweetie?"

_Holy fuck!_ My murderer has arrived!

I want to look around for Gabriel or Merri but I know I can't. So I stare back into brilliant red eyes. Trying to give nothing away.

The vampire stares back at me. Cocking her head to one side, she says, "Shame. I've been following you all afternoon. Waiting to see if you'd part ways with your wizard friend. I'm so glad you did," she adds, her face contorting around bared teeth. "Now I have no worries at all."

"You – you what?" I'm stalling for time.

She looks at me like I'm stupid. "You know what I am, don't you?"

I nod. My heart is beginning to race.

"Well done," she says, her expression satisfied. "Ignorance often comes before death. For you it will just be death!"

"I'm not frightened," I lie, staring into her bright red eyes, at her flyaway face paint. "Kill me if you're going to!"

The vampire's expression grows tight. She looks angry. "Oh no," she begins dangerously, her tone drenched in heated patience, "I have no reason or desire to be swift. You won't steal my fun, human!"

My breath is catching in my throat. Oh geez, this is it. The end. I've arrived. Everything I will know is in the past. Doom alone waits. The question is whether I will meet it with grace or not. I must – I realize – for no other end befits me. I must show the world death is not the end.

Red eyes reflect flames. I've encouraged her. Slinking around the fire, the vampire comes to me. The closer she comes, the wilder she appears – the brighter her eyes glow, the more dazzling her dress of feathers becomes. She looks like a demon from a far off world. Long finger-nailed hands reach for my throat. Before she touches me I see her nails are of deepest maroon.

"You're sassy," she tells me, grasping my throat. The feel of her touch is ice cold. "I hate your type," she scorns. "Stealing away my pleasure. Death is not to be met with courage and chivalry but fear and cowardice!"

"No!" I gurgle.

"No, ma'am," she instructs. I can't do it. I can't bring myself to formalities. She doesn't deserve it. Nor do I deserve the indignity of addressing her as such. She thinks differently. "I have _so_ little patience," she says angrily, grasping my throat still harder, "for noble humans. Address me as ma'am," she demands, "or die!"

Struggling, I manage, "No!"

I'm thrown to the ground. My head bangs against dirt. My thoughts are spinning around stars and tree branches. This is it. I'm dead. This is when she bites me. The question is whether she will eat. Yuck!

"Stand!" is the order. "Face me like a man!"

My head is pounding from being thrown. But I stand up and face her, my eyes darting around the campsite. I'm so alone. But sarcasm is instinct. "I'm not a man," I say to her. "So how can I face you like one?"

"Nor am I," she retorts. "But you'll have no mercy from me! Fortunately for you, I haven't worked up my appetite yet. Finding a meal isn't usually _this_ easy," she says by way of explanation. "So this is our itinerary. You will talk to me until I'm hungry enough to eat you. Understood?"

_You have time_ , my alter ego instructs. _Put it to good use._

_I will try_ , I respond wildly.

"I understand," I tell her, my brain whirring.

Fucking fuck!

What do I do now? Easy, I realize. Keep her talking as long as possible. Must buy time. No idea where Gabriel is or why he's taking so fucking long. I can't take this uncertainty. This doubt of his existence.

"Sit!" the vampire instructs. I sit by the fire. "Good," she purrs, taking a seat beside me. "I'm so glad you lit this fire! Otherwise I would not have been cold," she remarks, smirking as though this is hilarious. I don't get it. "My name is Amoretta," she says, eyes burning brighter than the flames.

"Oh," I say. My brain is white noise. "That's an unusual name."

"You think so?" She's cocking her head to one side. "I think it's an _extremely_ unusual name. So unusual I'm bound to be unique. As though my parents gave me no choice. Don't you agree?"

"Yes," I say automatically. "Totally."

She narrows her eyes, then relaxes them determinedly. "You seem very comfortable with the idea that vampires exist," she says. "Unusual for a human. I suppose your wizard buddy clued you in. I'm displeased. I like it when a human can't believe it. When I taste the shock in the flesh – a tenseness that otherwise wouldn't be there. Seems like you will be a subpar meal."

I shudder.

"There we are," Amoretta says gleefully. "That's the reaction I like. That's the reaction I can taste on my tongue. You haven't told me your name yet, sweetie. Tell me – I like to say it in my head as I chew."

"N – Nora," I stutter.

Panic is filling me.

Where the hell is Gabriel? Why is he taking so long? What could he be waiting for? Doesn't he realize I could die at any minute?

_Maybe he does_ , my alter ego suggests, _yet doesn't care_. _You've been abandoned._

_No_ , I answer. _He – he wouldn't. He couldn't have..._

"Nora," Amoretta repeats appreciatively. Raising a painted hand, she strokes my chin. "Nora – a yummy name for a tasty morsel. You're gorgeous, Nora. Wonder if I should taste you _before_ I eat you..."

_Holy bejesus fuck!_ Did she just!

My eyes are wide. "What do you mean?"

"Sex," Amoretta breathes into my face. "You can't be that unworldly! Women can have plenty of fun of their own. If you don't believe me...well – let me show you, Nora. Let me taste you!"

"I'm not a lesbian!"

Painted eyebrows rise. "Virgin?"

Oh geez! Can Gabriel hear us? Hopefully not. I nod once.

"Sweetie," Amoretta sighs, her red eyes eating me, "you poor, ignorant thing. How little you know yourself. Yet so beautiful," Amoretta tells me, her painted hand stroking me. "Has anyone ever told you?"

The answer is no. Not Gabriel. Not Wolf. Not Kiri – though why would she? The point is nobody has. Nobody but Amoretta. That knowledge is going to fuck me up later big time. She reads it on my face.

"Poor thing!" Amoretta remarks, brushing my cheek with a maroon nail. "You deserve better! I will fix it, Nora. I will fix the attention you've been missing. You won't die a virgin. But you will die tonight!"

Her lips are blood red as they sink to mine.

"Nullify!"

A jet of purple light misses. Throwing herself backward, Amoretta jumps to her feet, red eyes filled with fear. "Where are you?" Her voice is a roar into the night, painted face crazed. "Show yourself, coward!"

"Decimate!" Gabriel yells, emerging from the trees, wand held aloft.

The jet of light is red. It misses, exploding off a tree behind the vampire.

Gabriel and Amoretta are staring at each other. They are illuminated in the light of the fire. Determination stretches Gabriel's expression while recognition settles on Amoretta's. She squints in the dim light.

"Jack?" she says. Turquoise eyes widen in confusion. He raises his wand. "Jack!" Amoretta cries loudly. "It's me! It's Amoretta! Don't attack! I'm so glad it's you, Jack! Hold your fire!"

"Don't listen to her!" I shout at Gabriel. "She's trying to trick you!" My joints are seized in shock, immovable. "Kill her! She was going to kill me!" I gasp, the hate filling me. I'm surprised by it. "Do it! Kill her!"

Gabriel is staring at Amoretta, the turquoise of his eyes uncertain. "Why do you call me Jack?"

Amoretta breathes her relief. "Because you are. When are we turning the game on this human?" Silence. "Fine," Amoretta spits, "if you want to fuck her she's yours. But she's _my_ dinner, Jack. You _have_ to share, you greedy fuck," she says, bright red eyes flashing dangerously. "Kill her! I'm hungry!"

Confusion is tearing Gabriel's expression from him. He wrestles it back. "Torgi!" he cries, pointing his wand at Amoretta. Her feathery dress bursts into flame around her thin frame. Screaming in agony, Amoretta seizes a rock from the fireplace and lobs it at my head.

"Decimate!" Gabriel yells, pointing his wand at the rock as it flies through midair. The rock explodes, showering the night with fragments. Closing my eyes against the melee, I cough dust from my lungs.

An owl screeches nearby. Merri! Unsure of myself without vision, I sink to my knees and wait for the kill.

"Annihilate!" Gabriel roars. "Nullify! Decimate!" Smoke fills the air. I smell it. Retching, I shudder against the ground.

"Get up, Nora." I'm so pleased to recognize the voice as Gabriel's. Standing, I open my eyes. The smoke is clearing, drifting up to the star-strewn sky, the remainder emanating from the fireplace. Gabriel is standing beside the fire with Merrifeather perched on his outstretched arm.

The vampire is nowhere in sight.

"What happened?" I gasp.

Turquoise eyes are furious. "She's gone! Escaped!"

"Gone!" I exclaim. "How? Where to?"

"If only I knew," Gabriel answers angrily. Agitated, he swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "I'd send Merri looking but she hates hunting at night. Fuck!" He throws his wand to the ground. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! This never happens! I never miss at this close range. I don't know what's wrong with me!"

I've never seen him so upset.

"Who's Jack?"

Turquoise eyes are blank. "I don't know," he says, his usually confident voice hollow. "Could be anyone. Anyone at all."

* * *

We set up a makeshift camp. The temptation to go back to Evergreen tonight is strong, but so is my determination not to exert myself any more today, the whole of which has been exhausting. So Gabriel and I do what we can to make the site as comfortable as possible for the night.

He makes a tent appear out of nowhere with his wand – a sizeable looking one, too – then conjures a leather couch from the void and sets it beside the fire. I sit and watch him walk around the perimeter of the clearing, his wand held aloft and his voice murmuring strange words. I can only guess.

"What are you doing?"

Gabriel doesn't answer, instead proceeding to finish his chore before coming back and sitting on the leather couch beside me. "Safety spells," he says at last, his turquoise eyes reflecting the fire. "To ward off potential invaders, the least of which are vampires," he adds with a grin.

I'm glad to see him calm. He didn't stop fuming for ten minutes after Amoretta escaped. He's one of those people who acutely feel their failures. I'm not – thank goodness – for there are too many of them to count. But I was never as good at anything as Gabriel claims to be at killing vampires.

Leaning against the arm of the couch, I brush my hair over my ear. I'm endeavoring to get my wizard friend's attention. I follow his gaze to the flames. "Why do we need safety spells? Do you think she'll be back?"

"Doubt it," Gabriel answers. "Not tonight. But I have a feeling she will keep looking for you, Nora. Long after tonight. You sparked in her something more powerful than the thirst for human blood."

_Oh fuck_!

"What?" I think I know the answer.

"Lust. Amoretta lusts after you, Nora. She wants to have her way with you before eating you alive. Achieving that is going to require kidnapping you, which is probably what she's planning now."

I shudder. I still see them – a pair of bright red eyes and an elegant face carved in paint. Gabriel doesn't pay me any heed, preferring to stare into the fire, his thoughts hidden from me. He better not be planning to use me as bait again. The whole experience was far too close for comfort.

"Is she the Newborn?"

"Amoretta?" Gabriel says in surprise. "No. I don't think so."

I frown at him. "How can you tell?"

"Because if she'd been the Newborn you would be dead. Newborns have a terrible time controlling their hunger. They don't fool around with torture and rape – they just eat. Very quickly," he adds, grimacing. "Usually there's a lot of blood. Fountains of it."

I'm not giving him the satisfaction of making me queasy. Besides, a roaring bout of dissonance is rising in me. "Hold on," I say, staring at him in shock. "You mean the whole thing you said about how vampires usually play with their food wouldn't have counted if she'd been the Newborn?"

He averts his eyes. "Kind of."

"Gabriel!" I shout, anger pumping through me. "How could you!"

Agitated, Gabriel swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "It's not as bad as it sounds! I wasn't going to sacrifice you to the Newborn! I was basically sure the vampire following wasn't the Newborn! So there was no risk."

"No risk! How could you have been sure it wasn't the Newborn?" My tone is laced with doubt.

"The same reason," he answers dully, his hand holding his forehead, "because if it'd been the Newborn following, chances are it would have attacked at once. Its hunger would have superseded personal safety and patience. Amoretta is restrained. Well, in some ways. She's not the Newborn."

Crossing my arms, I stare at him furiously. Oh no – he's not getting off this easy. Sacrificing me. The nerve! If I knew magic I could duel him!

_And fucking lose_ , my alter ego adds. _You know you would_.

_Yeah_ , I concede. _Probably._

Geez, I hate being useless all the time.

We sit in silence. My demeanor continues to be antagonistic while Gabriel's continues to be tired and withdrawn, his gaze finding flames. What is he thinking about? I realize Gabriel is all too happy to remain silent.

"What were those spells you used?"

He looks over as though surprised to find me still sitting beside him. "Oh, those," he remarks. "Offensive spells. Would have used defensive spells had I been dueling a wizard. Against a vampire they are hardly necessary," he adds, his tone self satisfied. _And_ he's back. The old Gabriel.

His wand sits on the arm of the couch. Picking it up, he begins twirling it in his fingers. "I don't worry about issuing a spell while holding the wand," he explains, "because each spell requires a certain mental state as well as the incantation. Take Nullify – the stupefy curse – for example. You imagine the person in question stupefied when attacking. Makes attacking an unseen enemy difficult.

"There's Decimate – the maim curse. With Decimate you have to want to do damage. To hurt somebody. It's the same with Agonio – the torture curse – if your heart isn't there, it doesn't work. You have to want them to hurt – _want_ them to be consumed with pain to either be maimed or tortured."

I have an impulse to shudder again but it passes. "There was another," I tell him. "I can't remember – it issued a bright white light at Amoretta. It missed her but it looked powerful."

"Annihilate."

I frown at him. "Huh?"

"The kill curse," Gabriel says, "Always issues a bright white light. Decimate always a red light and Nullify always a purple light. The color of a curse never changes, Nora. For most spells, anyway. Remember this just in case: You can come back from the purple light in good health. But red and white are serious. Especially white. If you see the bright white light, death is near."

"I'll try and remember," I tell him, unable to keep a straight face. "Although the only person who can curse me is you."

Gabriel shakes his head, his expression somber. "Not true. If the Bureau of Magic sends agents to investigate, you could be in danger. Remember," he adds darkly, "the Bureau of Magic will most likely send representatives from the Bureau of Beast Control. People like me. Releasers. They will have the same license I do – a license to kill vampires, werewolves, and – yes – humans."

Swiping my hair over my ear, I frown over at him. "Why would they send people? We haven't done anything yet."

"Not _yet_ ," Gabriel begins, "but –"

I can't help myself. I rest my feet on his lap and smile sweetly at him. "How about now? Are we crossing the line now?"

"You're asking for trouble," he tells me, unable to stow his smile. "But I'm serious, Nora. It's risky what we're doing. The Puridites have no respect for Immags, and if I – a representative of the Bureau of Beast Control – am caught fraternizing with an Immag, they won't be pleased. They _will_ send Releasers. We have to be ready for it, Nora. We have to be ready for the worst."

Sighing, I look glumly over at him. He's such a buzz kill. I scoot over to his side of the couch and lay my head against his cushion, my back resting on his legs. From this angle I can see the fire reflecting in Gabriel's turquoise eyes. The effect is mesmerizing.

"Comfortable?"

I nod against the cushion. "Very."

"You have pretty eyes," Gabriel says, looking down at me.

This surprises me. Nobody says that. "Thanks. I'm wearing conta –"

"Look at the stars," he interrupts, gazing upward. "They are so bright tonight. It's so bizarre how we got here, Nora, isn't it? But sometimes all you have to do is look up and everything makes sense. You wouldn't wish for anything else. Not even with all those stars to make a wish on."

"Totally," I say airily, staring upward. They are bright this evening. I wonder why. I look back at my wizard friend, letting my eyes refocus. "Gabriel, why aren't we ready to have a real kiss?"

He says, "Real kiss? Oh, I didn't feel the right moment had arrived. No real reason."

"Do you know Kiri?" I ask him. "My roommate?"

"No. How would I?"

I shrug against him, an easy smile drifting across my features. "Well, she – uh – she thinks you're gay."

Gabriel bursts out laughing, his guts ripping to the sky.

"What?" I ask him desperately.

Oh shit!

Is he going to be mad at me? _Fuck!_ I shouldn't have said that. Wasn't thinking. I'm staring at Gabriel as he calms back down, a smirk growing wild across his face. "What?" I ask again. "So... are you?"

"I'm not gay, Nora," is the response.

I seize my opportunity. "Prove it."

"No," he answers without missing a beat. "I shouldn't have to."

Can't disagree with him there. Still, why did he find the idea so funny? Am I missing something here? Did I make a huge fool out of myself? Both? My thoughts and feelings are everywhere, strewn across my consciousness like the stars above. If only I could read his wizard thoughts!

"Your roommate sounds amusing if not intuitive," Gabriel remarks. "I should like to meet her. That is," he adds slyly, looking down at me, "if she can quell the impulse to introduce me to a guy."

"We'll see," I respond, incensed. He can't get everything he wants – it sets a bad precedent. Looking around the clearing, I try and distract myself. "Will your safety spells keep the vampires away?"

With difficulty, Gabriel heaves the smile off his face. "Yes," he answers, "because they can't see or find us. Our position has been 'unmarked' as we say – meaning all landmarks that may lead them here are void. A useful charm," he says as an afterthought, "especially when hunting vampires."

"Your favorite pastime," I say nastily, trying to rile him up.

"Undeniably," he agrees.

"When are you going to kill Amoretta?" I'm trying to say something that will push his buttons. "Before or after she has her way with me? Are you going to kill her at all? Maybe you want to sit back and watch!"

"Enough, Nora," Gabriel says, turquoise eyes disapproving. "I understand. You're mad with me for risking your life with the Newborn. I'm sorry – my misjudgment. Will you let it go?"

Startled by his apology, I nod. Too quickly. "Of course," I say, reddening. Geez, I'm so glad it's dark out, I'm turning into a tomato. "You're forgiven," I say, trying to catch my cool again.

_You never had it_ _to begin with_ chimes my alter ego.

_Die, you!_ I tell her.

"I keep saying it and I'm going to keep saying it," Gabriel tells me. "You're safe with me. The safest place you can be in the world is wherever _I_ happen to be. No one can hurt you so long as I'm here. I promise."

Reaching up, I touch his face. The skin of his cheek is warm and inviting, cascading down from turquoise eyes and messy blond hair. Instinctively, Gabriel swipes his hair to the side of his forehead. Blushes. It's a tinge, nothing tomato worthy, but it's there all the same. Makes me feel wonderful.

"You're red," I tell him.

He averts his eyes to the fire. "I'm not."

"You are," I correct. "That's okay. Bet you can't see from that angle but I'm blushing too."

"I _can_ see, actually."

The next thing I know his lips are soaking into mine. I didn't notice his hand winding around the back of my head. Now it's there, holding me, brushing me with his thumb as he fills me with bliss. Delicious, wet bliss. And it's a real kiss. _With_ tongue. I feel the world fall away around me.

It's over and we're apart.

He grins down at me, flushing brilliantly. "See," he says, "not gay!"

"See," I say, reaching up to his cheek, "bright red!"

He bats my hand away, blushing still further. "Easy does it. Don't make me curse you," he threatens, grinning down. "There are spells I've been wanting to try out but the right person never came along. Now I have –"

"What kind of spells?" I ask, interrupting him as I pick myself up and scoot back to my end of the couch.

"Oh – you know," Gabriel says deviously. "Spells to enhance certain areas during certain activities. The possibilities are endless, Nora." He's gazing over my body as he twirls his wand expertly. "Endless..."

I shudder. But it's a shudder of delight.

"Dinnertime!" Gabriel announces randomly, twirling his wand still faster. "What would you like?"

Startled, I say, "What – anything?"

"Basically," he answers, hitching back his self satisfied smile. "I'm best at conjuring Italian, Chinese, and Mexican. So pick one of those if you don't want it to taste like charcoal."

I'm thinking when my stomach interrupts. "I'm not hungry."

"What?" His voice is astonished. "I've been with you for hours and hours! You haven't eaten. You have to be hungry!"

I shrug. "I'm not, Gabriel. Take it or leave it."

"You must eat, Nora," is the short reply. His tone is sharp. "I have no patience for people who won't eat. It's a bad joke that in places of plenty people still go hungry. It's a disgrace is what it is!"

I play with my hair absentmindedly. Does anybody listen anymore? "It's not like that," I explain to him. "I'm just not hungry, Gabriel. It's not that I'm anorexic or bulimic or whatever. I'm _just_ not hungry!"

Turquoise eyes are calculating as they watch me. "Fine, then," he says, annoyed. "But I _am_ hungry. Feel free to sit there and watch me eat. Maybe then you will want something to chew on."

"Maybe," I say hospitably. I doubt it.

Spinning his wand artfully, Gabriel says, "Cuisiarti parmigiana!" A full plate appears on his lap. "Eggplant parmesan!" he explains happily, setting his wand on the arm of the couch and raising a fork and knife. "One of my favorite dishes! Too bad you don't want any," he tells me sourly.

Though I'm enjoying his gentle bating, Gabriel doesn't get it. I physically can't eat. Delicious as it looks, I know if I take one bite of eggplant parmesan I will throw up. My body can't take that kind of food anymore. I say nothing in hope that the subject will pass. It does, thankfully.

"You never told me what class you're taking."

Gabriel gulps down a mouthful. "My bad," he says, then continues eating. I stare at him as he chews. Is that all he's going to say? How about an actual fucking answer? I can feel my blood temperature rising. Geez, I fly into tantrums so easily these days. Maybe it's because I'm in –

"To be honest," he begins, "I'm not taking a class."

I gasp, "What!"

"I _was_ ," he explains hastily, "when I first arrived on campus. I realized I didn't want to do the work. My sole reason for being here is to search for the Newborn. But I also have to blend in with you Immags. The idea was I'd become a student and take a class while spending most of my time hunting vampires. Now I've dropped the class, I can spend _all_ my time hunting the Newborn!"

"You slacker," I tell him mockingly. "First one class. Then none. I know somebody else who's only taking one class. You're even lazier than he is because at least he hasn't dropped out."

"Who's that?"

"My friend Wolf," I say without thinking.

Gabriel's expression hardens. "His name is Wolf?"

Oh fucking shitballs!

How could I be so stupid? Did I give him away?

"It's Wolfgang," I correct, trying desperately to repair the damage. "His mother thought it would be funny because it's such an odd name. How do you like your eggplant parmesan?" I'm trying to distract him.

Gabriel isn't listening. "His name is Wolf," he repeats, more to himself than to me. "His mother named him so because she thought it would be funny. He goes to Evergreen State College but is only taking one class. He lives on the Olympic Peninsula... interesting, Nora – _very_ interesting."

My blood is freezing in my veins. This is bad news.

"I'd like to meet your friend Wolf," Gabriel tells me, the turquoise of his eyes deadly. "Would you mind?"

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_ What do I say?

"No," I lie through my teeth, "I wouldn't mind."

"Excellent!" Gabriel says, looking satisfied. He finishes his dinner without another word on the subject.

I feel depressed. How could I have done that? How could I have been so stupid? The words tumbled out of me so carelessly. So thoughtlessly. Now there's going to be trouble, for how can a wizard and a wolf get along? What was it Wolf said he would do if he met a wizard? "Kill it."

"This Wolf fellow," Gabriel starts.

_Fuck!_ Not again!

A loud screech sounds nearby and Merri comes soaring into the clearing with a dead mouse in her beak. Landing on the back of the couch, she proceeds to gobble up her dinner. Geez, if I didn't have an appetite before I definitely don't have one now! I pat her feathers when she finishes.

"You're all full, aren't you?" Gabriel says adoringly to the owl. "Full of yummy mouse! How was your hunt?" She hoots.

"You said she doesn't like to hunt at night," I say in confusion, petting Merri's glossy white plumage.

He swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "If you get hungry enough," he begins tersely, "the idea of breaking habits becomes more appealing. You wouldn't understand." His gaze falls over my thin stomach.

Geez, why can't he let it go?

Amber eyes are staring at me. Is Merrifeather judging me, too? Probably.

I yawn, stretching my arms wide. It's been an exhausting day. Hard to believe it started with a hangover from The Mousetrap – was filled with class and more drinking – and ended with me in the woods being tormented by a painted, lesbian vampire. Who says you have to go far to find adventure?

"It's time we sleep," Gabriel says. Getting up, he sits on the arm of the couch, gesturing for me to stretch out. "All yours. You won't sleep curled up like that and you won't thank me tomorrow if you do."

"What about you? Where will you sleep?"

Gabriel winks over at me. "I'm not going to sleep yet. I may take a look around – see what's in the area," he remarks suggestively, his gaze eating the tree line around our clearing. "I'm fairly certain Amoretta is far away by now. But I may be able to find some clues so I can track –"

"Wait!" I say loudly, comprehending his words. "You're leaving me here? Alone?" I can hardly keep the anguish from my voice. I only recently settled on the idea I'm safe so long as he's around. Now he's leaving! "I can't believe you!" I storm at him, sitting up. "You just said –!"

"Nora!" Gabriel interrupts. "Listen to me! You are safe _here_. So long as you stay in this clearing nothing can attack! That's why I performed those safety spells. This clearing is unmarked, remember?"

I'm breathing hard. I forgot, actually.

"Oh," I say lamely, my heart rate returning to normal. "Oh, right – I still want you to stay with me, just in case," I add wildly, gesturing around the clearing, "in case they find a way to get in."

He scowls at me. "That's why Merri's here. She's staying," he insists. "She's taking first watch."

I scowl back. He's right and I'm wrong, it seems. Looks like I'm safe. How come I can't explain my now irrational desire to have him here for protection? Seems like the magic should be enough. Am I that helpless?

"How am I supposed to sleep now?" I ask him. "I was tired but now I'm all riled up. Thanks a lot!"

Gabriel's not concerned. "You will calm down."

"That's not an answer!" I retort. "So I'll give you one. I'm coming with you!"

A fire to hunt vampires is in my veins. I had been a pacifist before a vampire attempted to rape and kill me.

"You can't be serious," Gabriel says in exasperation. "First you tell me you're frightened and you want me to stay with you. Then I tell you it's safe here because of my spells. Now you say you'd rather come with me to face possible danger! I can't begin to understand you, Nora Saynt-Rae!"

"You _also_ said," I begin haughtily, "the safest place in the world for me is at your side. So there!" Geez, that sounded childish.

_Yeah, it did_ , my alter ego agrees. _Where's your lollipop?_

_Silence!_ I roar at her.

"You're staying with Merri," Gabriel says, finality to his voice. "You're getting sleep. There's real danger out there, Nora. We could run into a vampire coven out hunting. There's no telling in these woodlands, in this part of the country," he adds darkly, his face illuminated in the licking flames.

I'm too exhausted to argue more. I do have class tomorrow. Homework I haven't done. Still haven't read _Sordello_...

"Fine then," I tell Gabriel. "If you're going to be a jerk about it I'll stay." But I can't keep the grin off my face as I say this, which subsequently ruins the terse effect I planned. "Go off and hunt without me. Never mind the fact I'll be here getting eaten! Look," I remark, gesturing to the rounded stone grate, "the vampires have a fireplace to cook me on right here. How convenient!"

Gabriel is staring me down. "That's not funny. Not funny at all. For your information, vampires don't cook their meat. They like it raw and runny," he says slowly, his eyes flashing. Is he trying to freak me out? "So stay _here_ , Nora. Stay where you are safe! Promise you will stay put?"

"What am I, a child?"

"Promise you will," he repeats.

I roll my eyes. "Fine, I will."

"Promise!"

"Alright, alright," I say, raising my hands. "I promise!"

Geez, he needs to get a grip.

Gabriel sighs and stares into the fire. "Go to sleep. Merri will be keeping guard. Stay awake, Merri," he instructs his owl, patting her plumed feathers. "Keep Nora safe for me while I'm away. She may need you."

"She doesn't need to stay awake for me," I tell him. "She must be tired after her hunt. Let her sleep."

Gabriel shakes his head. "Merri's fine. She slept all morning. It's nothing for an owl to stay up at night. They sleep during the day, remember? They must have taught you in school. I can never imagine what they spend all those years teaching you Immags when you're not learning magic."

"You're rubbing it in, aren't you?"

Turquoise eyes are alight. "Not at all. I'm curious."

"Well," I begin, "In first and second grade we –"

"That," Gabriel interrupts grandly, "is a subject for another time. Now you must sleep. Merrifeather must guard. I must hunt. We can talk about how wizard and Immag syllabi differ later."

Merri hoots gently at the fire.

Stretching with a yawn, I lay down on the couch as Gabriel stands, his wand twirling in his hand. Plumping a pillow, I lay my head on it softly. I can't help but feel my wizard friend is waiting for something. I get a suspicion. "Are you waiting for me to go to sleep so you can curse me?"

"Never!" he exclaims, looking injured. "You think I'm cowardly?"

I say, "I didn't say that."

Gabriel narrows his eyes as he gazes at me. Nearly prostrate before him. "You basically did," he says, "but I can't think about that now. I must go. Promise again you won't leave until I return."

Sighing, I look up at him. "You must think I'm a complete idio –"

"Promise!" he exclaims.

"I promise!" I'm rolling my eyes.

Geez, is he always like this at night?

"Good," he says. "Merri is here. The charms are in place. Go to sleep."

Curling up against my pillow, I stare up at him while twisting my hair around my finger. "I need one more thing before you go."

He looks wary. "What?"

"Can't you guess?"

Hardly missing a beat, Gabriel leans down and kisses me on the lips. Once, swiftly. He's gone, running off through the trees. Now I'm all alone. All alone in this clearing except for Merrifeather. I stare at her. Her head swivels in all directions, her enormous amber eyes missing nothing.

Readjusting to get comfortable, I gaze into the fireplace. I wonder how long the fire will burn. It's already outlived any fire I've ever known. It's probably never-ending. Maybe Gabriel has to cast it out with his wand.

My body weary, my thoughts go on for a time until they grow weary as well. My eyelids droop first. Then my consciousness, cascading down a flight of stairs until it no longer sees the world. Everything feels fake – manufactured like Gabriel's fire in the night. It's wonderful, too. So wonderful...

* * *

White abounds in every direction. I feel as though I can see for miles despite the tree fringe obscuring my view. I blink against the whiteness. It's almost blinding but not quite. I can see. I'm glad I can. So glad.

Gabriel and I are lying next to each other on a bed of white linens. No covers or comforters – simple sheets. We are between the layers. Naked. At least I am. I can't see all of him from this angle, but I can see enough.

Turquoise eyes burn in contrast to the white while blond hair is messy atop his head. We're facing each other. His skin is so... so smooth to my eyes. How about my fingers? Slowly, so slowly, I reach out a hand and caress his face. The flesh is warm beneath my touch. So smooth. So warm.

Moist lips open, but I brush my thumb across them, silencing him. My ears must rest while my touch is so alive. Cascading skin flows down a muscular neck into a chest of marble. I've never seen Gabriel shirtless before. Now he's before me, half naked at least and ready for my caress.

Gingerly, I slide fingers down his cheek to his neck, feeling electricity pop between us. It's wonderfully sensual to my consciousness. I see he wants to speak, but his lips remain still. Have I silenced him permanently? Maybe _I_ am magical, too? Oh the wicked things I would do...

My touch travels his midriff, playing his button a moment before sliding up his side and curling around his left nipple. My thumb strokes him there. Turquoise eyes are upon me, seeming robotic.

"Have you a secret to tell me?" I ask.

A long moment. "Nora Saynt," his lips say at last, "or are you Nora Rae? Who are you? To whom do you belong?"

I stare at him. The turquoise of his gaze is unmoving. "Oh, Gabriel," I tell him, swooping in for a kiss, "you must know I belong to you! Take me as your witch, won't you? Take me to Magasant! I want to learn magic! You must, Gabriel! This Immag world is wrong for me!"

"You," Gabriel murmurs.

"What?"

Turquoise eyes close. "You..."

"What?" I repeat.

He smiles against his pillow. "You're the one with the secret..."

Panic explodes. "I don't understand!"

"Never tell it to me," Gabriel says, opening his eyes. "Your secret. If you do, we can never be together. Understand?"

"No!" I'm aghast. "I don't!"

"I know," he says, eyes drifting shut again. "I always know, Nora. I am a wizard. I know everything a wizard ought to know. Including your secret. Have you not pieced together what I've said? We can never be together because I _already_ know. This is the end of everything you desire!"

"No!" I yell at him. "You must be mistaken!"

"I know," he tells me quietly, "about the wolf..."

Horror striking, I open my mouth. To tell him he's mistaken. To tell him there is no other. To tell him I'm his for eternity.

My mouth opens far wider than I intend. For turquoise eyes are open and terribly still. Death stares at me like the single, long werewolf claw emanating from Gabriel's heart. I'm screaming. Louder than I've ever screamed in my life.

The bed is soaking in blood. It flows over the marble of Gabriel's white flesh, is matted in the blond his hair, and fills his pupils obscuring turquoise. Blood soaks me to the bone, covering my skin and filling my insides where it travels up to my throat, splattering the night with a scream.

* * *

I bolt upright. My scream dies in my throat when I recognize the clearing. It's dark. I'm shaking all over and covered in sweat. I can still see Gabriel staring at me through red, dead eyes. My heart is beating madly. My eyes reflecting the blood-splattered white of cool linen sheets. I can still feel them.

I'm hungry for the first time in a long time.

But I can't think of food. My nightmare is so real. We were _here_ – in this clearing – except on a bed, not a couch. Gabriel... something so eerie about him. Yet his flesh was so good, so warm, so ripe for plucking.

Looking around, my eyes are blinded by darkness. It was so bright in my dream, the whiteness complete. Now the darkness is enveloping. When my eyes adjust I don't see Merrifeather anywhere. I'm more than a little dissonant. She was supposed to stay! Perhaps she got hungry.

Lying back against the couch, I stare up at the stars. They are populous as ever, strewing the sky with their starriness. What an odd nightmare. I hoped my first dream with Gabriel would be positive...

My thoughts a twisted mess, I relax my body. Before long the cushioned couch is a swaying hammock. I wonder – if I'm safe in neither the waking world nor the sleeping world, where am I safe?

## Chapter Eight

Something is eating my foot. Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I sit up. Merri stops pecking my shoe long enough to offer me a hoot. I brush my hair back with my hands. "Good morning, Merri."

The clearing is sparkling in morning splendor. A spattering of dew covers everything and bird calls are issuing around me. The chorus is so loud I'm surprised I wasn't woken by it. The sunlight shining through the trees is happy and unrepressed, as though recently freed from a smothering cloud.

Stretching, my back issues several cracks. Gabriel's fire has dwindled to embers. So much for magic! I wonder if it rained. I'm dry as fresh laundry. Gabriel's 'safety spells' might guard against it though.

I feel silly about last night. I was frightened about nothing. Nothing came to hunt me. Nothing came to hurt me. My courage is dauntless now daybreak is here. Light is my savior, for with light I can see my enemy and run.

I watch a squirrel bury a nut. It's so peaceful here. I take in the scenes of a forest busy about morning – chipmunks running in all directions, birds swooping everywhere, a gopher trundling by in no particular hurry.

Eventually I get to wondering. I have no idea what time it is. Am I missing class?

Where is Gabriel? I assumed he'd be back in the morning. How far could he have gone? When will he be back? How long does he expect me to wait? Questions buzz in my brain like bees looking for pollen. They don't find any.

Come on, Gabriel! What's taking you so long? You can translocate!

_He's forgotten about you_ , remarks my alter ego. _You're forgettable, Nora._

_Wish I could forget you!_ I tell her.

I'm beginning to worry. What if something happened to him? What could happen? He said no vampire could take him. Unless ambushed...

Fucking shitballs!

What if he got ambushed? He could need my help! Yet here I am stuck in this clearing. What if he's tied up or something? What if Amoretta is having her way with him? Yet here I am sitting on my hands!

Gabriel told me to stay. Geez, he must think I can't do anything. I may not have magic or sharp claws and teeth but I'm smart. That's my weapon, I realize. I can fight their weapons with my brain!

Refreshed and ready for action, I leap up. Merri hoots warningly. I should ask her. Going to her, I pet her white plumage.

"Do you know where Gabriel is?" Amber eyes stare at me, unresponsive. Then, all of a sudden, the owl launches from the couch and flies into the trees without so much as a hoot. "Wait!" I cry after her. "Wait for me!"

I dash forward and stop, staring at the edge of the clearing. Gabriel told me not to leave this enclosure, this safe zone. He'd be furious if I did. He _may_ be in trouble, though. He can't be mad if I rescue him.

Where did Merrifeather go? To get her master? Am I supposed to follow? Whose directions am I supposed to follow – Gabriel's or Merri's?

Stupid owl! She is supposed to stay with me! Gabriel said she would. Ugh! I can so easily see Gabriel's patronizing gaze as I explain why I left the safety of the clearing. I can also see the incredulity on his face as I explain that Merri flying off into the woods was too cryptic an instruction. Geez, it's easy to imagine Gabriel being critical.

Do I stay or go?

I feel my anxiety creeping over me. It's like a living thing, with a pulse and evil intentions. It wants to consume my soul. I shake it off but it keeps coming – its claws jagged and tingly. Then it's all over me, inside me, wreaking havoc on my consciousness. I must be free of it! I can't take this anymore! I'm looking for Gabriel!

Breathing heavily, I walk across the clearing's boundary.

Nothing happens.

Gabriel made such a big deal about staying in the sphere of protection I imagined _something_ occurring – sparks popping or a shield melting. Nothing. The fact boosts my confidence. I'm striding into the loam without a backward glance. Following Merri's path, I embrace the forest as my own.

I wonder as to Gabriel's whereabouts. If something captured him, what chance do I have? He's a fully trained wizard. I'm a clumsy human. The odds aren't great. I think of Merrifeather. What if she's captured, too?

It's up to me to save both of them. I must face whatever captor is tormenting them. Vampire or werewolf. What would a pack of werewolves do to a wizard? Wolf's words pop into my mind. Maybe. Would they torture him?

They better not torture my wizard! Not my... _lover_. Last night's dream flashes before my eyes. I see Gabriel, white as marble on the bed. I see the radiance of his gaze and feel the electricity of our connection. White falls to red – to blood – so my imagination is soaked through. Dead.

Where is he? I'm breathing hard, my steps unfaltering, intrepid. Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Hiding, perhaps? Playing hide and go seek with my heart? Show me where you are, Gabriel! Where your love is...

A thwack to my left!

Blood freezing in my veins, my eyes shoot in the direction of the noise. A lone branch bobbing up and down. I'm silent as I stare at the place of disturbance. The branch rights itself and becomes still. Strange. Something is running from me, hiding from me, or – worst of all – hunting me. Here I am in vampire country.

I look over my shoulder. Nothing. I'm being paranoid. I continue forward, brushing the loam with my legs. My heartbeat has quickened and nerves are shooting all over my body again. I asked for this by leaving the safety of the charmed clearing. I will deserve anything that happens to me.

A sound!

Off to my right this time. Whipping my head around, I see shrubs dancing before becoming still. Silence again. _Hell!_ I shouldn't have left the clearing. I know that now. It's too late.

My heart racing, I take a deep breath. Close my eyes. "Whatever you are," I say aloud to the whole forest, "I don't fear you. I'm traveling through and mean you no harm. You don't need to hide from me."

I open my eyes. Nothing reveals itself. The echo of my words ring in my head, sounding silly and hollow and – most of all – false. I _am_ afraid. I'd much prefer whatever is hunting me stay hidden.

What if Gabriel's having a laugh? I twist around in all directions, my body following my head. Should I address him? I'm already speaking as though it's him. I want to believe it's him. I also don't.

"That better not be you, Gabriel! This isn't funny!"

Not a sound issues from the surrounding greenery, no snigger of admittance or laugh at my expense. Phew, I must have imagined it all! No sooner is that demon vanquished then a new one rears its head. Staring around in every possible direction, I realize something almost as frightening.

I'm lost!

Every inch of the forest looks the same. No single direction supplies a landmark. No single angle is unique.

_You fucktard!_ my alter ego roars at me. _Now look what you've done!_

_Sorry!_ I tell her hurriedly. _I didn't mean to! It was an accident!_

I'm fucked. I'm in danger even if I'm not in danger. There could be no vampires for a thousand miles in every direction and still I'm lost. Geez, I'm such an idiot.

There's only one path forward. Through the forest. Maybe I will come across a landmark that can lead me home. I may walk right on campus. Better yet find Gabriel or Merri. Somebody. So long as they are friendly. I'm feeling extremely weaponless right now. Even with my brain.

A noise behind me!

I whisk around. The leaves of a bush are shaking uncontrollably. Oh no... this isn't a false alarm or vagabond wind. The shaking is beneath me. Looking down, I see my limbs trembling. My heart rate is spinning through the roof.

_Run!_ screams my alter ego.

I don't need telling twice.

I'm off, dashing around trees and over undergrowth. Do I chance a backward glance? I do. Someone is chasing me! A person? A vampire? I can't tell. They're moving too fast! _I'm_ moving too fast. No longer looking. I can't look back – I _must_ gain some ground. Adrenaline pumping me with newfound speed, I throw myself forward. No! No! No! I'm not ready to die! Not yet!

In my innermost I know I won't make it. I'm losing ground. Losing speed. Whatever is chasing me is faster. How can I survive? The answer is Gabriel – I must find him. He can protect me from whatever is chasing. I must find him! Throwing an extra burst of speed into my legs, I rocket forward.

But I always was a clumsy girl.

Hitting a root with my foot, I go sprawling over the base of a tree. My head hits the tree with a thud and the world becomes dark and murky.

* * *

Gabriel is in front of me. His breathing is ragged. His outline blurred to my eyes like an old Polaroid. Geez, he was here all along! I feel stupid. But something is wrong. Bright red eyes envelope my consciousness. Where is my turquoise massage? I – I don't understand what's happening...

"I'm so glad it's you!" I splutter. "I thought... I was so worried! I thought you were someone else!"

Eyes narrow. "It's just me. There's no one else here."

I sigh my relief. "I'm so glad to hear that," I begin. "Wait! What do you mean it's just you? Who else is there?"

"You're so, _so_ delicious looking!" A tongue licks lips.

Rolling my eyes, I comb back my hair. "Thank you," I say to him, "but this is hardly the time to –"

"Tasty!" The word spills from his lips. Then I notice the drool running down his jaw. "You look _so_ tasty!"

"Gabriel!" I shout. "Stop it! This isn't funny!"

My eyes refocus.

"Gabriel?" The man before me is perplexed. "Who's Gabriel?"

I stare at him.

Holy bejesus fuck!

What's happening? Have I gone mad? I don't understand...

The man – the boy, for he's young – standing in front of me looks like Gabriel. He has the same straight blond hair, the same bone structure to his face, the same expression Gabriel wears when curious. Only his eyes are different. They are bright red. So red it hurts to look into them. I look away.

He shakes me with strong hands. "Who's Gabriel?"

I must have lost consciousness! One moment I'm flying at the tree and the next I'm pushed up against it, grasped by my captor. Somehow _I_ ended up in captivity – not Gabriel. Geez, this is embarrassing.

"Who's Gabriel!" he yells, shaking me. "Tell me!"

"No one! He's no one!"

Spit is flying over me. This specimen is far less appealing than my wizard friend, even if they are nearly identical. This boy's face and hands are dirty and he's dressed in plain, Immag clothes – not wizard's robes. I'm forced to give up my explanation – that Gabriel went mad and became a forest person.

Red eyes flare. "I don't believe you! How can somebody be nobody?"

"He is nobody! Leave it alone!"

"You're lying!" Roaring, he throws me to the ground.

My back spasms as I hit the earth. I'm stabbed with pain. Curling up against the forest floor, I close my eyes. I can't believe this is happening! I'm going to pay for my idiocy. With blood and guts. I'm going to get eaten!

Rough hands seize my arms and haul me upright. I'm staring into mad eyes. The vampire licks his lips. "You're too pretty to eat," he tells me hoarsely, suspending me in midair. "I'll look at you a while first!"

Yes, please! Procrastinate eating me!

He opens his hands and I fall to the ground. I gasp with pain as I hit the earth. Geez, can't he be more gentle? Whisking back blond hair with dirty hands, the vampire sits down and leans backward on his hands. The glint in his red eyes is too playful.

Geez, I can't catch a break.

Wiping the drool from his mouth, he says, "Tell me your name."

I'm about to refuse him rudely when I realize how stupid that would be. I'm trying to buy time here. The best possible ploy is to engage him in conversation. I need to get friendly with him.

"Nora," I say. "My name's Nora. What's yours?"

Red eyes burn. "Jack," he grunts.

Jack? Where have I heard that before?

"That's – that's a nice name."

He swipes his sleeve across his face to arrest some drool. "If you say so."

Looking Jack up and down, I realize something. He's the Newborn! He's a raggedy, insane mess who desperately wants to eat me. Sounds like Gabriel's description. Jack appears far less put together than Amoretta, if that's possible.

_Fuck!_ I'm supposed to be distracting him.

"Where's Amoretta?" I ask him.

Red eyes widen. "Know her, do you?"

I nod silently, but without failing to swipe my hair over my ear. I must keep him entertained. Hunger follows boredom.

"She's around," he says. "Why? Want me to fetch her?"

Panic explodes in my head. I can already feel her long finger nails grasping my face. "That's okay," I reply quickly. "Caught up with her recently, actually. We had an extremely relaxing visit."

Jack is staring at me in amazement. "Are you stupid?"

"Are you the Newborn?"

He swipes his blond hair back. "What if I am?"

I'm trying to appear unconcerned while my insides are panicking. "It doesn't matter. I'm just curious. So are you?"

"Are you stupid?" he asks again.

I narrow my eyes. "Is that your way of saying yes?"

"No," he answers, " _I'm_ just curious."

I'm incensed by his words. "Why do you think I'm stupid?"

"Because," he begins, "You said you were hanging out with a _vampire_ and having a merry time of it. Sounds like you're pretty fucking stupid to me! Begging your pardon."

I must keep stalling. "Well – _no_ – I'm not stupid. For your information I had no idea Amoretta is a vampire!"

Jack laughs. It's a booming laugh that seems to rip from his chest. "No idea she's a vampire? I suppose you didn't realize... Let me ask you a delicate question. What do you suppose I am?"

_Oh fuck!_ This sounds like a segue to a meal.

I screw my face up. "Something that needs a shower?"

His smile vanishes. "Ah. You play with fire for a living?"

"No," I answer. "I fraternize with wizards for a living. Many of them! Even some Releasers," I add, making sure to drop the key word. "They're the vengeful ones. If they got wind of anything happening to me, they'd make sure to find the bastard who did it. Make sure to end him!"

Geez, I hope this works.

_Of course it won't_ , remarks my alter ego. _You're doing it_.

Jack's face cracks in a smile. Fresh drool oozes from the corner of his mouth. "You're irresistible when you're scared. I can tell you're scared. I smell it from here," he adds, taking a hearty sniff of the surrounding air. "I bet I can taste it in your skin..." He leans forward to grasp my arm.

"No!" I gasp. Jumping to my feet, I make a break for it.

Jack leaps after me. "Come back! I don't want meals on wheels!"

Bounding through the forest I chance a backward look. He's hot on my trail! I throw a spare burst of speed into my legs and run for my life. Panting my exhaustion, I dart this way and that around obstacles.

This is it. I know it. If he catches me again I'm done for. There can be no charming or distracting him. There's no mistaking the hunger in those bright, red eyes. He wants my flesh in his mouth.

Gabriel never came. He won't come now. The only way to survive is to outrun Jack. This terrible realization upon me, I throw everything I've got into my legs. They are all I have. My only hope.

I trip over a root.

It's as though I'm in slow motion. One second I'm hurtling through the air and the next I'm flat on the ground face up. The world becomes fuzzy and sways slightly. I recover faster this time, for the world soon refocuses. No sooner does it then Jack appears over me, bearing bloody teeth.

_Shitballs! Fucking shitballs!_ It was nice living for a time, I guess.

Jack's grin is lopsided and bloodshot. "Took a tumble, did we?"

Seizing me roughly, he slams me against a tree. Hitting my head hard, I nearly lose consciousness again. I don't have the wherewithal to defend myself. I'm too out of it. Too easy a target. He knows it.

"Hell," he grunts, "you're spoiling my fun!"

Everything is hazy. I hardly register what I'm saying. "Finish me, coward," I hear myself murmur. "Finish your meal."

Through the haze I see a shocked face. It hardens, turning to red hot fury. "Who are you calling a coward?" Jack's voice is a roar. "Who do you _dare_ call a coward? You will pay for that!"

Stretching his mouth wide – revealing so many blood-stained teeth – Jack leans in close for the bite.

A bark sounds on my periphery.

Closed eyes slam open.

An enormous black dog is only yards away, baring sharp, glistening teeth. It's too big to be a dog. It's a wolf! I know it is. It has to be. Not only that but I think I know _who_ it is. Slinking closer, the wolf barks still louder, its narrowed eyes staring into the bright red pupils of Jack's.

Jack takes a step backward, then runs for it.

The wolf pounces. It's a short chase. Biting the cuff of Jack's dirty gray jeans, the wolf drags him backward. Falling to the ground with a thud, Jack gargles, his hands grabbing helplessly at tufts of grass. Aiming at the wolf's face, he kicks out. His shoe connects with the wolf's snout.

Yowling in pain, the wolf releases him. Jumping to his feet, Jack takes off again. Barking madly, the wolf chases after him. I run after them, too. I know I should be hiding right now, but the temptation to try and help the wolf is overwhelming. Especially after Jack kicked the poor thing.

My expertise isn't needed.

The wolf has hold of Jack, this time by his coat jacket. It's a much better hold. Struggling like a beast the vampire tries to throw the animal off. He aims another kick at the wolf but misses. Instead, he falls in a heap and lays still, the back of his coat caught in the wolf's teeth.

The vampire is facedown. Not moving.

Treading carefully, I approach the pair of them – Jack prone on the ground and the wolf panting hard through clasped teeth, its narrowed black eyes never leaving its prey. I shouldn't be anywhere near them. But I have to know. Have to find out. I need to know if it's who I think it is.

"Wolf?" I squeak, "Is that –"

Flipping over, Jack grabs the wolf by the head and sinks his teeth into its neck. I scream. Howling in agony, the wolf releases the vampire. Terror striking me, I look around for a weapon. Nothing. So sinking to my knees, I hug the wolf. It's shaking – foam leaking from its mouth as black eyes glaze over.

Jack combs back his dirty blond hair. "Looks like I won't have to bite you," he tells me, an evil look alive on his face. He points to the wolf. " _He's_ going to any second. Good thing to," he adds, "because I was going to take you to Mortimer – our coven leader. Mortimer likes to have his fun. Torture you till the brink of death then bite you at the last possible moment."

I stare at the wolf. His fit is growing worse, his eyes seeming to bulge from their sockets. With a whimper he collapses to the ground. "No!" I gasp, hugging the wolf to me. "Don't turn! Not you! Not you!"

A maniacal laugh escapes Jack. He waves. "Bye bye, pretty one. Hope to see you again." He's dashing through the trees, not daring a backward glance, running faster than I ever could.

Hugging the wolf, I see his eyes turn from black to red. Watching the foam drip down his muzzle, I realize my days have run out. I've lost my chance to run for it. All I can do now is spend my last moments loving a friend.

I hug him tighter. Tears are dripping from my eyes and down my cheeks. "This is goodbye, Wolf," I tell him, wiping my cheeks dry. "Thank you so much for saving me back there! I – I wish I'd been a better friend to you. Be a good vampire dog!"

Tears are overwhelming. So I let them flow. Closing my eyes, I bury my face in his beautiful black coat. The wolf nuzzles me affectionately. Shocked, I take a backward step. I can't believe it! He's okay!

The wolf in front of me is out of breath. He's panting heavily and wiping the foam from his mouth with a paw. But his eyes have returned to black, their seconds of fiery red elapsed. Flipping back on his paws, the wolf stands up, nuzzling my cheek and licking my tears away. Good as new.

"Wolf!" I gasp happily, unable to believe it. "You're okay!" I hug him so tightly I could burst. Let alone him.

_Nora, you moron!_ says my alter ego. _He was never going to be a vampire dog!_

I ignore her.

I'm too delighted to register criticism from anybody let alone her. I won't take her shit now. I will only take Wolf alive and healthy before me. He is offering me a bark of good feeling. I hug him again and he wags his tail infectiously, his happiness spilling into mine. What don't we have?

Then – ever so slowly – his black coat begins to lighten. His claws shrink into his paws and their fur falls away. His ears cave to the sides of his head and his dark face turns russet. Only black eyes remain unchanged as slowly and gracefully he transitions back into a boy. Now there's no hint of the dog left. Only human. The enormous smile on his face is as obvious as the sun in the sky.

I'm still hugging him, holding him tight to me. All of a sudden it turns awkward. Blushing terribly, I pull away. As I do, a shadow crosses Wolf's face, blocking out the sun. Again he's thrown into darkness.

Unsure of what to say, I lift my hand to pat him.

_No, idiot!_ yells my alter ego. _You don't pat a person!_

Geez, it's so much easier to interact with a dog. Aborting my pat mid step, I brush my hair over my ear instead. This does nothing to help Wolf's guarded expression. Eventually, I manage, "I'm glad you're okay!" My voice sounds falsely cheery. I hate it. "Jack almost had you there!"

"He didn't," Wolf counters. "Not even close." His tone is sullen.

Have I angered him? How could I have? "What do you mean, 'not even close'?" I

repeat. "I saw everything. He bit you in the neck. He's a vampire, Wolf! A fucking vampire! You _could_ have become one!" For some reason I'm starting to feel angry. How did it all go to shit? Everything was joyous.

"It doesn't work like that," Wolf explains. "Werewolves _can't_ become vampires. Vampire venom is poisonous, but it only does temporary harm to wolves. It's debilitating for a few minutes then passes like a fever. You can't be a werewolf and a vampire at the same time. It's impossible."

"Oh," I say. "I see."

We are staring at each other. Both guarded. Geez, I wish he'd stayed a wolf. We were having a happy time. Now he's human and telling me I was dumb for thinking him forfeit. I feel stupid. I also feel mad at him. It's hard to be, though. Full maroon lips and muscular arms are calling my name.

"Did you mean what you said?" he asks.

My expression is blank. "What do you mean?"

"That thing you said?"

I think back. Nothing. "What thing?"

He takes a deep breath. "That thing where you said you wish you'd been a better friend. Did you mean it?"

Taken aback, I gaze at him in surprise. "Oh – of course! I mean, I thought we were _both_ dead. Actually, I thought you'd become a vampire dog and eat me. People will say anything when they're –"

"No," Wolf interrupts, "don't take it back. I don't want you to."

Astonished, I can't rivet my eyes from him. What is he on about? "I was babbling when I said those things. I had no idea what I was saying." As I speak, I feel my body edging backward – away from him. I don't know why. That's a lie – yes I do. Because I feel like I'm cheating on Gabriel.

"My mistake," Wolf tells me. "I can hear you as a wolf, you know. I have intuition when transformed. I thought you said you wished we'd been closer. We can fix that, Nora – we've been given a second chance. Sort of."

"Not really," I squeak. "You said so yourself. You said I was never in real danger. Neither of us was. Werewolves can't become vampires. You said it's impossible. So there – the matter is settled."

Expression pained, he says, "Not for me..."

Hastily, I think of a new topic. "What were you doing in the woods before you saved me? Ha-ha," I say, throwing in a fake laugh. It sounds shrill and forced.

_God I hate you_ , my alter ego tells me.

_I know_ , I tell her. _I hate me, too._

Stretching with a grunt, Wolf stands up. "I was hunting vampires," he says to me. "What else would I be doing? The question is what are _you_ doing out here, so far from Evergreen on a weekday?"

_Shitballs!_ Caught.

"I was with somebody," I say, trying my best to keep my devious answer honest. "Somebody you don't know."

"I know you were!" Wolf exclaims. "I saw him right before he was about to eat you! Lucky I interrupted your social hour."

"Not him!" I say, exasperated. "Somebody _else_. Not a vampire. His name is Jack, by the way," I add haughtily. "The vampire you saw. Try and avoid him if you can, Wolf. He's not nice."

"I could tell," Wolf says, a grin shaping full, maroon lips.

Yum! Oh – I can't be doing this. "You should leave, Wolf. Just point me in the direction of school. I promise I will make it back before nightfall," I say desperately to his shaking head.

"No way!" he says. "Are you kidding? You were almost mauled fifteen minutes ago! No way am I leaving you out here to die! Not that you would," he adds hastily upon seeing my dissonant expression, "but I _have_ to stay."

I cross my arms. "Why?"

"Nora!" Wolf exclaims. "Seriously? You don't remember? We wrote an essay on this! I'm sworn to protect you from vampires. I'm sworn to protect _all_ humans from _all_ vampires. You're the human here and I know vampires are around this area. We saw one! I'm not leaving you alone!"

If only Gabriel had been so considerate...

I exhale as though resigned. Secretly, I'm thrilled. I don't want to be left alone again. Gabriel will be furious if he finds us. Oh well. He leaves me to get eaten by vampires and this is what he gets. Somebody else hanging out with me – somebody who actually cares about my well-being.

Going to Wolf, I hug him. The boy this time – not the wolf. His skin smells like leather. I feel pontoon abs beneath his tight T-shirt. Simply. Wondrous. "Thank you," I tell him, "for sticking by me. I _will_ be a better friend."

The shadow dissipates from his face as surprise unfurls down it. He smiles, dazzling my eyes with white. "Any time," he says airily. "I'm your wolf – err – man! I'm your man, Nora. Proud of it!"

Snuggling into his muscle, I sigh contentedly against his chest. Geez, I could get used to this pretty fast.

A loud pop behind me.

Startled, I whisk around. But not before Wolf has leapt into the air. He transitions so fast he's a wolf before he hits the ground. Barking madly, he throws himself at the intruder with his teeth bared.

"Nullify!" Gabriel shouts, pointing his wand at Wolf. It misses. The wizard throws himself behind a tree. "Decimate!" This one hits Wolf's leg and with a howl he collapses, never ceasing to bark at Gabriel.

"Stop it!" I scream. "Stop it, Gabriel!"

Gabriel holds up his wand. "What's it done to you?" he yells at me. "Has it bitten you? Tell me it hasn't bitten you!"

"It hasn't!" I gasp. "It's – _he's_ – my friend, Gabriel!"

Wolf – collapsed on the ground – is snarling at Gabriel, black eyes turned to slits.

Gabriel steps from behind the tree, pointing his wand at Wolf. "Tell it to calm down or I will kill it," he says to me. "Do it, Nora! I don't have patience for werewolves. Especially the uncontrollable, beastly kind! Tell it, Nora. I'll kill it!"

"Stop! Stop, Wolf! Surrender!" I'm shaking as I speak. Turning to the wizard, I say, "Don't you dare hurt him, Gabriel!"

Gabriel is taken aback. But he continues to advance on the wolf – wand aloft – until the fangs disappear in Wolf's mouth and he slumps to his rump, dejected, black ears folding downward. Gabriel twirls his wand between fingers. "Transition, werewolf," he demands. "Transition now!"

I glare at Gabriel. He ignores me.

Wolf transitions back into a human. The process looks the same as last time. First his color lightens then his features change until nothing remains of his furry, canine self. A boy again, Wolf jumps to his feet with a wince and points accusatorily at the wizard, his newly human face shocked.

"What's with you?" Wolf growls. "Why do you look like that vampire?"

"Vampire? What vampire – where?"

"He means Jack," I explain hastily to Gabriel. "He's – uh – a vampire. Almost killed me a little while ago. It was close. I was running and he chased me and then I got lucky because Wolf saved me and now... and now both of my protectors are here!" I'm plainly babbling. "I'm so pleased!"

"You!" Wolf yells at Gabriel. He's wincing as he massages his leg. "You were supposed to protect her? What were you thinking leaving a human girl alone in the woods on the Olympic Peninsula? You can't do that with their type! They're made of paper. How could you be so stupid?"

Geez, made of paper? What is he talking about? Humans or girls? Both?

Swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead in agitation, Gabriel turns on me. "How could you leave the clearing?" Frustration is boiling up through marble skin. "How could _you_ be so stupid? I gave you a direct order and you disobeyed it! That's the reason you got into trouble, Nora! You were safe in the clearing! Safe from vampires, let alone this moron." He gestures to Wolf.

The werewolf bares his teeth in a doglike manner. "Watch who you call a moron, wizard! You'll be sorry!"

"Enough!" I shout to the whole forest. "Shut up! Both of you!"

Silence. Now both of them are staring at me angrily. Gabriel more so. Wolf, on the other hand, also looks hurt. Geez, what do I do now? With both of them practically at each other's throat?

"Listen," I begin, trying desperately to control the situation, "Nothing that happened is worth fighting over! No one is to blame."

"Except you," Gabriel tells me. "You left the clearing!"

"And you!" Wolf barks at the wizard. "You left _her_!"

I gesture wildly. "Yes and yes! If we have to assign blame! That's not going to get us anywhere, though. Instead, let's go our separate –"

"What were you doing when you _should_ have been protecting her?" Wolf shoots at Gabriel. "What was so important?"

I'm about to reprimand the werewolf like a dog. I stop myself. Actually, I'm curious to know the answer to this. Gabriel glances at me. When it's clear I'm not stepping in, he swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. The agitation falls away from his face, replaced with self satisfaction.

"What?" I ask.

Turquoise eyes are bright. "I'll tell you. But not with the dog here."

Wolf bares his teeth, black eyes glinting.

I step in before things deteriorate. "Say it, Gabriel!"

My wizard friend exhales loudly. But it's an ersatz sigh. His smile is way too obvious. "I've found their coven."

I gasp, "You what!"

"Yes," he replies, grin widening. "Now I have my wand at their throats!" He's staring down Wolf as he speaks. "They will all die. Each and every one of them!" His expression is manic with fevered delight.

Wolf is shocked. "Kill _all_ of them?"

"They will get what they deserve," Gabriel tells him. "Nothing less."

" _All_ of them are too many!" The werewolf's expression is alarmed. "They don't all deserve to die! Just the ones attacking humans. Jack, for instance. Not _all_ of them, Gabriel! You have to moderate!"

The wizard shakes his head. "They are parasites! Killing one doesn't do anything. You must slaughter the lot. In as short a time as possible too, before they can run off and spawn demonic offspring!"

His words remind me. "Did you see it?" I ask him, "The Newborn?"

The manic expression sliding from his face, Gabriel shakes his head. "I did not, Nora. But I only saw a few of them. If I'm right, there should be twelve of them living together. Perhaps thirteen if they have accepted the Newborn as one of their own. Daredevils. They must want a fight!"

"So _that's_ what a wizard is doing in the area," Wolf remarks dryly. "Your lot has finally caught wind of the Newborn, huh? Took you long enough! We've known for weeks and weeks. We're naturally better at –"

"How come it's still alive, then?" Gabriel interrupts angrily. "Have you been twiddling your paws and risking the slaughter of innocents? Isn't your crowd sworn to protect humans? You're a sorry excuse for a –"

Balling his fist, Wolf steps forward. "How dare you, wizard!"

Gabriel aims his wand. "Withdraw, dog! I have a license to kill sub Purids," he hisses. "I'm pleased to say that includes ugly, stinky werewolves! If I murder you I'll face no charges! On the contrary, I'll be rewarded!"

My brain explodes in panic. I have no time! The scene before me is about to be lethal. I'm the only mediator, the only referee. "Well," I say loudly to the pair of them, "I guess you both will have to stay behind while I go hunt vampires!"

It works.

They're staring at me. Wolf's fist lowers, matching Gabriel's wand. Two sets of eyes – one black and one turquoise – are fixed on me. Both blank. I have to keep them preoccupied so they don't kill each other.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Gabriel says.

The werewolf growls, "Don't talk to her like that!"

The wizard raises his wand. "I can talk how I like!"

"Why?" Wolf barks, "Because you're a wizard?"

"Shut the fuck up!" I scream. Okay, good – they're gaping now. "Shut it!" I yell at Gabriel who's opening his mouth to comment. "Listen to me! Now I don't know about you two idiots, but _I_ want to find the Newborn before it murders humans. I'm going to their lair and doing the job. If you want to help that's fine. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. I – unlike you nimrods – have a job to do!"

I've never seen a wizard and werewolf looking so stung. That said, I haven't seen many wizards and werewolves. Fewer together. It takes them a moment to find their mouths again. Gabriel manages it first.

He lowers his wand. "I'm coming."

"Me too," Wolf says at once.

Gabriel tells him, "No you're not!"

"Yes he is!" I say.

The werewolf looks menacing. "I don't want _him_ coming. I don't trust him!"

I shrug apologetically. "He has to, Wolf. Sorry – he's the only one who knows the way. There is no other way."

"Yes there is!" Wolf says delightedly. "I know the way, too – I've been there!"

I continue before Gabriel can interrupt. "Fine, then," I tell them. "You're both coming! But I have one condition."

"Of course you do," Gabriel remarks.

Wolf bares his teeth at the wizard. "Are you always this big an asshole?"

"Let me speak!" I yell. "Are you listening?"

They look at me. "Yes!"

"Here's my condition. You both _have_ to get along during our raid. You can hate each other all you want in your free time. But when we're hunting, we _have_ to have each other's back. Got it?"

They look at each other.

## Chapter Nine

My dorm is a mess, like I left it.

Books and papers are strewn everywhere. My co-written essay with Wolf – _Werewolves: the Sworn Protectors_ – is lying on the floor, scrawled B at its top. My iPad is on the desk, safe from harm. My backpack along with my many, many items of clothing cover the unmade bed.

But I'm not looking at my junk. I'm looking at Kiri's naughty smile, caught between her rimmed glasses and half turned body.

Oh shit!

I know what she's thinking.

_Wouldn't you be thinking the same?_ my alter ego asks.

_I suppose_ , I answer her. _But at least I'd get the facts before raising the roof!_

Kiri swipes at her bobbed hair. "So – um – how was your night last night?"

Awkward!

"It's not what you think!" I say too quickly.

Turning around in her chair, Kiri hugs its back, laying her head on it sweetly. "Nora! It's _me_! You don't have to lie to _me_ of all people. Save it for your parents! I happened to notice you didn't come back last night and really? You couldn't bother calling? I assume you were preoccupied..."

I look around hastily. There it is – on the bureau. I point to it. "Sorry, Kiri – I left my phone here. Totally forgot it," I say honestly, hoping she'll drop the subject. I know she won't. I'm not delusional.

"I don't care about the fucking phone! Tell me about last night! How was it? Please tell me you were safe! Was alcohol involved?" She looks so cute with her head resting on the chair back and her raised eyebrows I can't help smiling at her. "I knew it!" she gasps. "You _did_ – you had sex!"

Going to my bed, I shove clothes aside and sit down, feeling glum all of a sudden. "I didn't," I tell her. "We didn't have sex, Kiri."

Her grin fades. "Oh," she says. "Did you try? Did he drink too much? Tell me _exactly_ what happened! I want the blow by blow!"

"Nothing happened!" I exclaim, gesturing her away. "We didn't drink. Didn't try to have sex – nothing. I mean it," I add seriously, staring her down.

Geez, the last thing I need around here is a reputation.

Raising her eyebrows higher, she looks disbelieving. "Just one question," she squeaks, "do you count oral as sex? Because –"

"We didn't do anything!" I gasp, blushing furiously. Oh geez, red cheeks aren't going to convince her. "No oral, no actual – nothing! Like I said. I swear it, Kiri," I follow up, because she appears doubting.

"Okay," Kiri remarks. "I believe you. It doesn't matter. I want you to know you can trust me with anything, okay? You're my friend. I don't hear about kissing and tell. I just kiss and tell!"

I'm playing with my hair so as to avoid her eyes. "I'll try and remember."

"You know," Kiri begins, "I'm glad you didn't have sex last night."

Dissonance.

What the fuck?

Didn't she just finish telling me what good friends we are? Why on earth would she not want me to have sex with Gabriel? Does _she_ want him for herself? Is that what this is about? How dare her!

_Shut up, idiot_ , says my alter ego. _Think! She's never met him!_

_Geez, that's right_ , I reply.

"Why not?" I'm trying to sound lighthearted instead of furious.

Nodding at me, she says, "Because you're a _total_ mess. Have you been in front of a mirror? Spare it, I beg you!"

"Funny," I say. Relief flooding.

She leans forward. "Is that a leaf in your hair?"

"Probably," I say quickly, jumping to my feet. "Sorry – got to shower!" Grabbing my toiletries bag, I dart into the bathroom before she has another chance to inspect me. I rarely move so fast.

Oh... wow. Okay. Not good.

I'm staring in the mirror. Unfortunately, the mirror is staring back. I have not one but several leaves in my hair! Even without the forest debris my hair would be terrible. It's twisted in every direction and full of knots. I appear as though I've lived in the jungle since age seven. How embarrassing.

Oh fuck!

What if Kiri thinks this is my just-fucked look?

Geez, I hope not!

I must right the situation.

Turning on the water faucet in the shower, I let the hot water flow over my hand for a moment. Glorious. I strip off my dirt-ridden clothes and toss them aside. How many washes will it take to get rid of the smoke smell? Twenty, probably. I'm better off throwing them out. What a waste.

Peeling back the curtain, I step into the shower. But not before I've grabbed my hairbrush from the sink. The soothing caress of hot water is fantastic on my body. But I have my work cut out for me.

Lathering my body in soap, I wash off the smoke smell. Had to go. I take a liberal amount of shampoo and soak my hair in it, rubbing furiously. Forest flotsam falls to the bottom of the tub. Washing away the shampoo, I use a generous amount of conditioner. Washing this out, too, I take my hairbrush to my head, wincing as I pull out knots.

I relax under the hot water a while after I've finished. I know it's wasteful, but it's so good... finally, I finish. Drying off amid the steam-filled bathroom, I marvel in the sensation of being clean. Geez, it's crazy how much a shower can do for the spirits. I feel like whooping. I hold it in.

Instead, I go to the sink and take out my contacts. Boy did they need to come out. I soak them in water for a few minutes and then replace them carefully, making sure not to scratch my strangely bright corneas. I spend the next twenty minutes blow drying my hair. I'm sorry – I _have_ to do it. I can't go walking around with wet hair. It's icky. Wrapping myself in a towel, I head back to my dorm.

Kiri is tapping away at her laptop. Upon seeing me, her eyebrows nearly disappear into her bobbed hair. "You were in there an hour and fifteen minutes," she tells me, her tone accusatory. "That's insanity!"

I shrug her off. "So – why does it matter?"

"It matters," Kiri remarks, "because I've needed to pee for an hour and five minutes. An hour and five minutes, Nora."

Huffing, she gets up and passes me without another word, slamming the door behind her. Oh well. Stripping off the towel, I find a clean pair of jeans and a white camisole. My typical uniform. Pulling these on, I stare around the room. I've forgotten something. Can't think of it. What am I forgetting?

Of course! The final touch. Going to my chest of draws, I find a bottle of perfume. How could I have almost forgotten? Spraying my entire body from head to toe, I replace the little bottle. Breathing the smell deeply, I sigh my contentment. Now everything feels right. I'm home again!

Time to figure out school. The last class I attended was Dr. Blakely's. Yesterday. It feels like eons ago. Since then, I've met two vampires – nearly being killed and raped by both – and unwittingly introduced Wolf and Gabriel. This means I've missed Dr. James' and Dr. Renaus' classes today.

It can't be helped. I never got around to reading _Sordello_ for Renaus. Didn't start it. Plus, I'm tired of Dr. James quizzing everybody on pointless events in _The Great Gatsby_. I wish he'd talk about literary substance. I _would_ go to that class. Considering he almost certainly didn't do that today, it appears I've missed nothing. Hmm... maybe I should Wikipedia-plot-summary _Sordello_.

Or maybe I should search for cool new apps on my iPad. I do this instead. Relaxing at my desk – tea cup in hand – I scroll through the choices. Cool! I like this one – an app telling you when werewolves are near! I buy it at once. How can I not? Setting my iPad aside, I sip my tea delicately.

What now? I know what I _should_ be doing. I should be studying. Preparing for Dr. Tuten's English 301: The Art of the Essay, and Dr. Blakely's History 145: The American Revolution. I have both tomorrow. But I don't feel like studying. Partly because I'm exhausted after my night in the forest. Partly because I don't want to. I don't feel like reading _1776_ by David McCullough. I don't feel like working on the essay about essays that Dr. Tuten assigned via Blackboard.

Instead, I sit and sip my tea.

I do this for a while, my usually racing brain glad to have a respite. Soon enough guilt trips me in the direction of my laptop, so I pull it to me and begin working on my very, _very_ procrastinated essay.

* * *

Later in the evening I decide to call Dad. Though we usually call each other on the weekend, I feel I haven't talked to him in a while and I want to fix that. So – after several hours of eking out an essay like blood from my veins – I dial Dad's number. Two rings and an answer like always.

"Nora Rae," Dad says.

My smile is unseen. "Hi, Dad!"

"Something wrong?"

Geez, why is this always his first assumption? Can he hear it in my voice?

"No," I answer, "of course not! Everything's fine on my end. It's been a while and I wanted to hear your voice."

A pause. "That's what people say when something's wrong."

He always chooses the wrong moment to be intuitive! I'm not in the mood for a therapy session. "Never mind me," I say unconvincingly. "How are you? How's stuff at home? How's work been?"

"Work's been work," he tells me. "It's been tiring recently. Back's giving me trouble. Things are slow in Baring, Nora – very slow. I'm glad I saved up during the summer when things were busier. If I hadn't, I would be in a prickly situation right now. Kudos for thinking ahead, I guess."

I nod, forgetting he can't see me. "Have you – um – heard from Mom? Or her new boyfriend?" I add before I can stop myself. I didn't want to bring it up but I can't help myself. Too curious.

A sigh from Dad's end. "They've moved in."

"What!" I gasp.

Holy bejesus shitballs!

"Yep," Dad exhales, "I don't know how your mother figured out to tell me but she did. She called asking for the wok she used to cook stir fry in. A $10 wok. She calls me up and says she wants it. Naturally, I ask why. Says she's cooking for two every night. That's the only reason she called," he adds dissonantly, "because soon as she told me she said never mind and hung up."

I can't decide whether I feel sorrier for him or angrier at her. "Oh, Dad," I say to him. "That's – that's terrible. I'm sorry she's being so cruel. She _can't_ be happy – you know that, don't you? A happy person doesn't go this far out of their way to make someone else miserable. She can't be happy."

"I don't know, Nora Rae," he says. "I don't know much about her anymore. Everything I thought I knew is gone. She's a new woman with new principles and new priorities. I mean, sure – the girl I married would never have settled so fast. On me or anyone. All that's changed. Everything's changed now."

I've never heard him so forlorn. I'm changing the subject. "When are you coming to visit me?" I ask him, trying to spin a cheerful tone around my words. "Soon, I hope! It better be soon, Dad."

"We'll see." But I can hear the smile on his face. "I've got a bathroom I'm supposed to finish in two weeks and I'm going to need every day. Anytime, once that's done. Tell me what works for you."

The door opens and Kiri walks in, hauling her cello case. "Okay, Dad," I tell him. "I will let you know. In the meantime stay well, stay healthy. And please oh please don't let Mom's antics get you down. I think she's gone off the deep end or something. Whatever is happening is not positive. Don't think she's having the time of her life or anything. Just try and have yours."

A dry chuckle. "Will do, Nora Rae, will do. Study hard, enjoy yourself, and most of all don't worry about your parents – me or your mother. We'll be fine in the long run of things. College is a time in life that's about you. Nobody else. So live up to that. Ignore what's happening at home."

Ugh. Does he know me? "I'll try, Dad."

"Heh, okay. Goodnight, Nora Rae. Love ya."

"Night, Dad. Love you, too."

Putting my phone on the desk, I turn around to see Kiri removing her cello from its case. Gingerly, she sets it on her bed and turns to me. "Want to grab a bite to eat?" she asks. "Skipped lunch today. I'm starving!"

I look to my computer screen where my essay on essays is unfinished. Geez, that cursor blinks a lot. "No thanks," I tell her. "I've got this essay to finish for Dr. Tuten. It's going slowly and I'm blank. Got nothing."

"Take a break," is Kiri's solution. "That's what I do when I can't think. The other thing I do? Eat! Come with me and we can do both. Once we get back you'll be able to finish in half an hour."

Scratching my thin stomach, I try feeling something. Nope. Still no appetite. I could go with Kiri and not eat. She'd probably think I'm weird. It's not like I can force it down either. It's not necessarily the _complete_ absence of hunger, but rather the complete inability to eat food. If I force it down it _will_ come up. Wouldn't be pretty. Might put Kiri off her dinner. Can't have that.

"I should keep working. I'll be too tired if I put it off. I promise I'll come another time. Sound good?"

_How is later going to be any different?_ my alter ego asks.

_Stalling_ , I point out.

Kiri's eyes narrow. "Nora, I have never seen you eat."

"Yes you have!" I say desperately. These are dangerous waters. "At – err – The Mousetrap! You saw me eat there."

She shakes her head. "No, I didn't. I saw you drink. Drink a lot, actually. But no food. Seriously, Nora – I've never seen you eat as much as a pastry! Not here in our room or anywhere. You don't have food here."

I stare into her glasses. "What are you saying?"

Tenseness fills the room.

"Nothing at all," Kiri says after a long pause. "Simply that... that maybe you should eat more often."

My lie comes too easily. "I do eat!"

"We'll see about that," Kiri remarks, her voice high and sly. "I'm holding you to your promise to come eat with me later. We'll see how much you eat. Whether you're..." Her words falter and break apart.

"Yes?" I push, staring her down.

No answer comes.

* * *

The next month passes uneventfully.

September turns to October. The leaves change color, their edges finding a ginger tinge before falling – the beauty of their spiraling grace descending to the ground around Evergreen State College like a twirling, multicolored skirt. They build up in corners and stairwells around dorm building C.

Gabriel becomes evanescent as the days pass. One moment he's by my side and the next he's running off on errands. He informs me he's doing reconnaissance work around the newly discovered vampire lair.

Our romance plateaus.

We've reached the point where we kiss every time we meet – whether in my dorm or on the beach at Eld Inlet. But we have yet to go further. I can't tell whether it's his hesitation or mine holding us back.

Wolf, on the other hand, has become nonexistent. Not long after our rendezvous in the forest he starts skipping Dr. Tuten's class. I'm saddened by this. English 301: The Art of the Essay, had been my favorite class. But only because Wolf was there. Now class is stiff and boring – painful to the ears and debilitating to the mind. Dr. Tuten seemingly wants us to copy his tiresome style of writing. Perhaps that's why my werewolf friend quit. In any case, I miss him terribly.

I also miss my parents. My weekly phone calls with Dad are continuing, though he has yet to visit me. He must have finished that bathroom by now. As for Mom, I have neither heard from nor seen her since I was dropped off at Evergreen. Her unexplained disappearance from my life is painful.

Good news?

Well, Kiri has apparently forgotten about my promise to eat with her. So I don't have to worry about that. Kiri is busy these days. Her music teachers heaped a leaden amount of studying on their students. Many a night I return to find Kiri bent over a composition book, her hair a mess and her glasses crooked as she hastily devours Ramen noodles before rushing off to a cello lesson.

I wish I could say my own situation is better. My homework has doubled. It's as though every professor realized the semester is halfway over and are speeding up the curriculum so as to complete the syllabus.

Considering how busy _I_ am, I'm glad Gabriel is so busy supposedly hunting vampires. Wolf is – well – nonexistent. Being so consumed, I fear I'd fail my classes if they were around to distract me.

I've had exams.

Turns out neither History nor Victorian Era Literature are my best subjects. True, I ignored _1776_ and _Sordello_ entirely. But do I deserve Cs? I'm getting them whether I deserve them or not. I'm doing much better in English 301: The Art of the Essay, and English 103: English Composition. Turns out reading the class material helps when it's time for exams. The lone book I've read all semester is _The Great Gatsby_. So I'm acing 103. I have a B in 301. I'll take what I can get.

* * *

I'm walking back to my dorm after History 145. It's mid afternoon on a Thursday in early November. I'm wrapped in an obtuse looking jacket – you know – the puffy kind that looks idiotic while simultaneously being incredibly warm. It's not that cold yet, but I like to travel prepared.

I'm mourning the absence of Wolf in my life. Again he failed to show for English 301 earlier today. I hoped – faintly hoped but hoped nonetheless – he would be there. But he didn't show. I want so bad to talk to him. He may be upset over what happened in the forest. He has yet to comment on the fact I didn't tell him I had a wizard friend. Even though we had talked about wizards...

The thought gives me deep-seated discomfort. I had to know this would happen. Had to know he'd find out. Worse still, Wolf doesn't know the extent of it. He doesn't know I'm interested in Gabriel beyond being my friend. Gabriel was rude to me in the forest. I'm still peeved over that, but the conflict may have led Wolf to believe Gabriel and I aren't interested in each other.

What a mess!

Traveling across Red Square in the direction of dorm building C, my Uggs thumping loudly on the ground, I hear a loud pop behind me. Halting, I wait for him to speak. Not a sound. Hum... I don't want to look around for some reason. Not if he's going to ignore me and expect me to address him first. I must stick to my guns. Shrugging, I continue walking across Red Square.

"Nice jacket," says someone behind me. There's no mistaking that voice, resonant and commanding, nor that tone, soft and cold. "I suppose an Immag's fashion sense must play the seasons."

Turning around, I scowl at Gabriel. "You're the one to talk," I shoot at him. My eyes are narrowed and ready for battle. "Have _you_ looked in a mirror lately? You look like a nightmare from _The Wizard of Oz_."

Gabriel is wearing flowing robes of tangerine today. Their eccentricity practically lights the sky on fire. Yet he's calling out _my_ fashion sense! Only Gabriel has that kind of tenacity of audacity, that fantastically ignorant strain of self awareness. You know, the nonexistent kind. What hypocrisy!

He laughs, the music of him sounding inside me. My heart warms despite itself. Here I am trying to carry out a serious indictment and he's turned it all around again. Why can't I be as manipulative?

"Take off your clothes."

I stare at him. He's serious.

Looking around Red Square I see nobody. How strange. The week is over for many students including me, but this is the center of campus. Where has everyone gone? Or has Gabriel put a hex on the place? It doesn't matter, because there's no way I'm stripping in public. Even when the public isn't present.

"No," I tell him, "I won't!"

He advances on me. Drawing his wand from his robes pocket, he balances it on his palm, the turquoise of his eyes never leaving mine. Geez, he's so fucking pretty. I love how the blond of his hair flows into the tangerine of his robes. But this isn't the time to fawn over Gabriel. It's the time to tell him off.

"What are you going to do?" I ask him. "Curse me? You wouldn't dare!"

Eyebrows rise. "I would, actually. I have a license to kill, maim, and torture all sub Purids. That means –"

"I know what it means!" I exclaim. "Gabriel! We're in the middle of Red Square. I'm not taking my clothes off!"

The wizard looks surprised. "You misunderstand me. I didn't mean _all_ of your clothes. Your jacket. I want to show you something." Flipping his balanced wand over on his hand, he twirls it between fingers. I can't shake the image of a cowboy doing the same with his pistol. The idea brings me no comfort.

Eyeing him suspiciously, I cross my arms. "It's cold."

"It won't be for long," he reassures.

"Why? Because you're going to kill, maim, and torture me like you can?"

He shakes his head. "Do it, Nora. You'll feel like an idiot soon."

"I suppose nothing would make you happier," I talk back.

But I relent.

Stripping my weightless backpack from my shoulders, I let it float slowly to the ground. I unzip my puffy jacket and pull it from my body. Dropping it on the ground, too, I hold my arms out wide, my upper body protected only by a thin, gray turtleneck. "You can turn me into a wombat now!"

He swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "That isn't funny, Nora. Turns out I know the trans-species wombat spell. I'll save it for later," he remarks, an unrestrained grin unfurling down his features, "for if your werewolf friend decides to come around sometime..."

"Now _that_ ," I begin, "isn't funny!"

"Hold out your arms."

I exhale impatiently. "They are held out."

"More," he says. "Hold them out more."

I've come this far. I hold them out more. "Hurry up, Gabriel. I'm getting cold standing here without a jacket."

Gabriel doesn't answer. Instead, he touches his wand to the cotton of my gray turtleneck. "Equilibri," he says.

Warmth flows through my body from my torso, filling every crevice of my being. It happens instantly, effortlessly, without a thought on my part. I can't keep the expression of amazement from my face. Geez, I planned on _not_ inflating his ego with my reaction. But I can't help myself. It's glorious.

"Feel good?"

Closing my eyes, I allow my arms to fall back to my sides. "Extremely."

"Excellent!" He exclaims happily. "The turtleneck you're wearing is now charmed. When you wear it your body's temperature will become ideal. If you wear it in the summer it will cool you down – despite being a turtleneck. If you wear it in the winter it'll warm you up. Works in all seasons."

Opening my eyes, I bathe in a bath of turquoise and tangerine. "Oh, Gabriel," I tell him. "The things you can do, I – I can't even –"

"Begin to imagine," he finishes for me, satisfaction glazing his face. "You're right, Nora. You _can't_ begin to imagine. But soon – _very_ soon – you will. For how can I not share what I can do?"

Is he talking about what I think he's talking about?

_Yes, pea brain_ , says my alter ego. _Of course he is!_

_Shut it!_ I tell her. _I'm getting really sick of your negative attitude!_

"Will you share now?" I ask him. "Today?"

Turquoise eyes widen. "I didn't think you were ready."

Garr! I hate when he does this! It's so obvious I've been ready for ever. He's the one procrastinating! Why, you ask? I would like to know the answer myself. Thanks for asking. Maybe Kiri is right after all...

"I've _been_ ready," I tell him, annoyed. "Like, forever."

Swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead, he smiles enormously at me. Geez, those teeth are so white, so perfect. "Is that right?"

"You know it is," I tell him. "Either way you're coming back with me."

He scowls at me. "Why's that?"

"Because," I answer, "I don't need my jacket and I don't want to carry it!"

Stowing his wand in the pocket of his tangerine robes, Gabriel frowns. "I see. I'm your bellboy, am I? I suppose I had this coming. Still, it's a stiff thank you for making you perpetually comfortable."

"Thank you," I tell him as he picks up my jacket and backpack.

"I don't suppose there's any _other_ reason you want me to come to your dorm, is there?"

Geez, it's like he knows...

"Maybe," I respond. "Well, kind of. Sort of. Yes. My friend Kiri has been dying to meet you ever since I told her about you. She seems to have a knack for spot – err – spotting _eccentric_ men."

"She thinks I'm gay," Gabriel says without missing a beat, his hand finding my back and guiding me forward, across Red Square in the direction of dorm building C. "You mentioned this earlier."

"I did? I can't remember."

My wizard friend snorts. "You were distracted."

"She wants to meet you," I continue. "Kiri is good at telling – well – she thinks of herself as sort of a –"

Geez, how do I say this?

"She thinks I'm gay," Gabriel translates. "Prides herself on having an outstanding gaydar. She dared you to bring me by. I get it."

"Oh," I say dumbly. "That's – uh – good."

I feel inarticulate right now. It's a pet peeve of mine – when I'm trying to describe something and it fails completely and then someone else swoops in and describes it fantastically in one line. I hate it! I hate it! I pride myself on my writing ability, and speaking – like writing – is an art of synthesis.

Geez, I'm an English major for crying out loud.

I ask the wizard, "How goes the hunt?"

My backpack on his shoulder, my jacket under his arm, and his tangerine robes glistening in the sun, Gabriel fails to meet my eyes. "Oh, that," he says, his tone disarming, "Not the best, Nora, to be honest."

I'm determined to trap his gaze. "Why not? What's going on at their hideout? Have they been killing humans? Tell me!"

_Relax_ , instructs my alter ego, _before you give yourself an aneurism!_

_Off with your head!_ I yell at her.

Gabriel shakes his head. "No attacks I know of since the most recent against the Newborn. That one didn't take place around here – it happened in mid Washington. Everything's confusing me."

"Why?" I push him. "I don't understand you, Gabriel. You're trained to be in these situations and yet you can't figure it out. You always boast about your abilities so much – now that is confusing!"

Did I go too far? Apparently not.

His forlorn expression becomes an airy grin. "Boastful? I can't begin to imagine myself as that. Sure – I talk – I make words with my mouth. But boasting? As for my training, I don't know," he admits, his grin slipping, "I thought I could handle anything. This present situation is trying me."

"Maybe I can help," I tell him. Geez, I hope I'm not being too opportunistic. Actually, who cares? "Tell me what's wrong and maybe I will be able to think of something. Please tell me, Gabriel!"

Turquoise eyes find me at last. "Oh, fine then."

He must really be desperate. I hadn't actually expected that to work. "Yay!" I exclaim. "Thank you! Thank you!"

"Don't make me regret this," he adds sourly. "Well, here it is: I can't find the Newborn. Can't find him anywhere. And I've looked everywhere. Remember when you asked if I saw him? In the forest?"

I nod my remembrance.

"That time," Gabriel continues, "I wasn't worried because I only saw a fraction of their number and assumed the Newborn would be part of their coven. I assumed he'd come around. He hasn't! It's as though he never came to Olympia! But the Bureau of Beast Control is positive he's somewhere on the Olympic Peninsula... They're not pleased with me, Nora," he adds, sounding depressed.

I take his hand. It's warm and tense, and only becomes warmer and tenser when I make contact. But he relaxes and continues speaking, his voice calming my heart like a trickling stream.

"They don't believe me," he remarks. "The Bureau thinks I'm lazing around. It's as if they don't know me! I bet they have new management or something. I wouldn't know! They don't tell me anything anymore! It's as though they've left me here in the desert to rot! I hate them sometimes!"

He's breathing heavily after this rant. I almost want to giggle but I shelve it. I'll get in trouble. But seriously – the desert? We're in Olympia, Washington. It rains here. Like, a lot. It's many things – temperate, cool, cloudy, green – but not a desert. Should I correct him? Fuck, why not.

"When you say desert," I begin, "you know it's –"

"I mean a desert _socially_ ," Gabriel intercepts. "I'm all alone out here. I've got nothing and nobody. I'm beginning to lose who I am in this barrenness. I feel like I'm going crazy here. I'm not sure how much longer I can stand it!"

_Shitballs on a stick._ That wasn't complimentary.

"What do you mean 'all alone'?" I repeat angrily. "You've got –"

"I mean _wizards_!" Gabriel interrupts. "Witches. I know I've got you, Nora. I'm grateful to you. But it's not the same as being around my own kind. I miss dueling. I miss staying up late, drinking old red wine, getting into longwinded discussions about what the Puridites are going to fuck up next. I miss it all so much!"

I huff, "I'm sorry I'm not enough for you."

"That's not what I said!" is his terse response. He pulls his hand from mine. "We were talking about the Newborn. You asked me about other stuff and now we're here! How does this always happen?"

"It doesn't," I correct. "I _thought_ your life may have improved since I came into it. I see I'm mistaken. Oops – my bad. I shouldn't make such brazen assumptions without consulting you first!"

Gabriel swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead in agitation. "You – you're... ugh!" He can barely express his frustration. Who's inarticulate now, I wonder? "Forget I said anything," he says at last. "I see we won't get anywhere with this. At least not anywhere positive."

"I can't forget everything you say!" I exclaim. Geez, I wish he'd figure it out. I'm not a computer you can reboot! Sighing with more oomph than I normally would, I ask, "When are you taking me to the vampire coven?"

Gabriel splutters, "Now you want to come to the vampire coven!"

"Of course I do," I tell him. "I made the plans originally, don't you remember? You've been putting it off. Doing your 'reconnaissance work' as you call it. I guess I shouldn't be surprised," I add nastily, gazing up at him. "That's not the only thing you've been putting off, come to think of it."

Expression impermeable, Gabriel follows me in the direction of dorm building C, the red tiled steps of Red Square falling behind. _Oh fuck!_ I meant to go in the Daniel J. Evans library for a book on Colonel Burr and Benedict Arnold's campaign in Canada during the Revolutionary War. Oh well.

"I will take you with me," Gabriel says at last, "to the vampire coven. One condition, Nora. You _must_ agree to it. Here and now. No refusals. No rain checks. Just agree and we can make plans."

"Sure thing," I say. "Don't worry about it. I'll agree to anything – I want to come. So what's the condition?"

"That werewolf can't come," he answers.

"I can't agree to that. I promised him he can come."

"You'll have to break your promise," Gabriel says. "Either that or you're not coming. Take it or leave it, Nora."

He's starting to annoy me. "You know," I begin, "I can go out walking in the forest and look myself. You'd have to come or else I'd probably be killed. Or you could leave me to die. Then how would you feel? You're not calling _all_ the shots here. If I want Wolf to come he's coming. That's it."

"It's not coming," Gabriel hisses.

" _He's_ not coming!" I correct furiously. " _He'_ s not coming. Not 'it's not coming'! Wolf is not an _it_. He's a _he_. He's a living, breathing being with thoughts and feelings. You're superhuman, too, Gabriel. Go figure you're calling him weird. You're such a fucking hypocrite!"

Gabriel ignores me. "Where is _it_ , anyway?"

He! But I know it won't get through. "I'm not sure," I say sadly, "still hasn't shown for class. I wonder if something's hap –"

"Fantastic!" Gabriel interrupts happily. "Then _it's_ not even an issue. You can't find _it_. So you can't ask _it_ to come. Let's get along again, because either way your werewolf friend won't be joining us."

I give my wizard friend a sidelong glance. "Are you jealous?"

Gabriel chokes. "Jealous! Of a witless half-breed? Of a beast? Don't be stupid, Nora. There are few creations lower than the werewolf. There's vampires... and I'm out. I've got nothing else. Werewolves are second lowest."

I whisper to myself, "Bigot!"

"What?" Gabriel asks. "Sorry, didn't hear you?"

"You're a bigot!" I shout, tearing my hand from him. "You're a fucking bigot, Gabriel, and not much else! Grossly predictable, too!"

Crossing my arms, I turn away from him. He walks around till he's facing me. I'm astonished to see an enormous grin splashed across his features. "Grossly predictable? You're calling _me_ predictable? We've already had this fight! Here _you_ are playing it out again. As for me being a bigot," he continues slyly, "we've already agreed that's true. So I don't see what the problem is!"

Shitballs!

This isn't fair! I _want_ to be mad at him. But that is some beautiful hair. Those are some beautiful eyes. Is his smile eating me alive? A grin breaks across my face, and before I know it I'm scooping my hair behind my ear and looking at the cement. What am I supposed to find there? The answer to my easiness?

"See?" Gabriel says. "We don't have problems. We don't need bigotry around. We also don't need werewolves!"

Unable to respond to this, I take his hand and lead him the rest of the way to my dorm building. It's embarrassing, the extent to which I lose my senses while looking into those turquoise eyes.

What's worrisome isn't that I lose my senses around him, but that Gabriel is somebody you need to keep your senses around. It's not a matter of safety. I worry how much control he has over himself. He seems to lose himself occasionally, and it worries me when at its worst – for instance, when talking about murdering vampire children. The glee in his face at these times is unsettling.

Leading him up the steps of dorm building C, I knock on the door. Kiri is haphazard with her schedule. She seems to change it up all the time. Turns out she's home. Pulling the door open, Kiri stares at us for a moment, her eyes alive behind sharp glasses and beneath bobbed hair.

"Come in!" Kiri exclaims.

Gabriel gestures me inside before following up the rear and shutting the door behind him. Kiri goes to sit on her bed beside her enormous cello leaning against the wall. Gabriel and I sit on my bed.

"So you're Nora's boyfriend!" Kiri says excitedly. "I'm so glad to finally meet you! I've heard so much!" She's definitely too excited. Can I blame her? He's gorgeousness incarnate. I forgot to tell her.

Gabriel glances at me. I can tell what he's thinking: _What did you tell her about me, Nora? You better not have told her too much!_ "Hi," Gabriel says to Kiri, his thoughts distracted. "It's nice to meet you too." He can't add he's heard so much. Because he hasn't. Except for Kiri's hunch about him.

"I love what you're wearing!" Kiri's voice adores as she addresses him. "Fantastic! Where do you find something like that? Are you part of the theater department? Are you a theater major?"

Geez, is this how she finds out people are gay? By asking if they're theater majors? I dearly hope her technique is more refined.

My wizard friend looks taken aback by her interest. He recovers quickly. "A little shop in a suburb north of Boston. And no and no," he answers. "Haven't been to the theater in years, as it happens."

Kiri nods, her eyes wide. I can almost see her gears turning. "Wow, that's surprising," she remarks, "I go a few times a year. Anyway, what's your major? Nora told me you're a student here."

"I dropped out," Gabriel tells her, surprising me with his honesty. "Didn't feel like doing the work." Honesty again. "They're allowing me to keep my dorm until the semester is over. Otherwise I'd have to go back to Baltimore and I don't want to. I – uh – like it here." At last a lie. His expression is a dead giveaway.

Kiri continues nodding as though unable to stop. I know what she's thinking, too: how did Nora land this guy? "Please, make yourself comfortable," she says, her eyes sliding over the backpack hanging from Gabriel's shoulder and my jacket wrapped in his arms. "I'll be leaving soon, anyway."

"Where are you going?" I ask in surprise.

Kiri frowns in my direction. "Nora! I've told you like 500 times, I'm going home for the weekend. I'm all packed and everything," she adds, gesturing to a couple duffle bags on the floor by her desk, both looking ready to burst. "All laundry," she says happily, "all for my mom to do! I'll be too busy playing with my dog! But before I go, I want to play you something."

Grasping her cello, Kiri finds a bow and begins playing music. It's elegant and deep, the notes rising to the ceiling of the room and filling my ears with grace and my heart with the beauty of solace.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Corelli – 12 Concerti Grossi, Op. 6. No 8 in G Minor II," she answers, "my favorite of his. I love Baroque music, don't you?"

No idea. So I say, "It's nice, Kiri."

Finishing the short piece, Kiri puts her bow away. "Thanks. I put off learning it for years and years. I was terrified I would screw it up. I think it turned out okay after all," she says, her eyes grazing the curving wood of her cello. "I'm glad I put it off. I wanted to have competence first."

"Understandable," Gabriel says. "It's the same with me when I'm trying something new. Whenever I'm about to perform a – err – never mind," he finishes, his sentence coming to a halting death.

Kiri's eyebrows nearly disappear into her head. She looks at me, appearing too delighted for words to describe. "Can I speak to you in the hall, Nora? I want to tell you something before I leave."

Straightening my hair with my fingers, I eye her casually. "If you must!"

" _We_ must," Kiri corrects.

Staring her down, I stand up. "Excuse us, Gabriel."

He gestures to the door. "Be my guest."

Kiri and I look daggers at each other as we go into the hall, closing the door firmly behind us. So long as Gabriel doesn't use magic to hear us. When we're safely down the hall, I turn on Kiri.

"What is it?" I say more angrily than I meant to. "You think he's gay, don't you?"

Kiri looks alarmed. "I –"

" _You_ ," I interrupt her, "need to hone your technique! I hoped your procedure would be more exacting than asking if he's into theater! Geez, Kiri, I know the robes are a bit much but come on now!"

Kiri gestures for silence. "You didn't let me finish! The answer is no! I don't think he's gay!" Her expression is worried and slightly sick, as though her words are twisting her inside. "It's something else!"

I narrow my eyes at her. "What?"

"I – I think he may be dangerous," Kiri informs me, her voice a squeak. "Something isn't right with him – I can tell, but I can't describe it. There's a quality – an air that's troublesome. Maybe he's cursed."

Damn, she's pretty close. But I can't let her know that. "You're crazy," I tell her. "What can be wrong with him?"

She shakes her head, her hand twisting her bobbed hair anxiously. "I can't describe it. But I think it's a problem. It's my hunch, Nora – I think you should take it. I'm good at telling these things most of the time."

I can't resist. "Oh," I say, "like when you said he's gay?"

" _Most_ of the time," she repeats, her lips quirking up in a smile. "Can't a girl be wrong sometimes?" she asks.

I decide to ignore this. "We'll see," I tell her. "We'll see who's right this time! You lost the first round as far as I'm concerned. I'm sticking with him, Kiri. Because I like him. I like him a lot!"

Okay, I admit it – I'm going a bit overboard with my confidence in Gabriel right now. Kiri has a point. Gabriel's bloodlust and passion around the subject of mass murder is alarming. Err – want the truth? The truth is I'm worried he's listening to our conversation somehow. I don't know how but somehow. So I'm trying to stay complimentary and shit. Better safe than sorry. Or dead.

"I'm serious, Nora," Kiri says, her worried face returning. "I'm scared for you. Is he staying over tonight?"

Oh geez! "I hadn't considered the idea," I lie to her face. There's no way my nose isn't growing. I totally considered it.

Predictably, Kiri sees through me. "Be careful," she warns. "I wouldn't want to share a room with him at night. I don't know, Nora... the way he stares at you. It's like he's planning your murder!"

"I know," I say without thinking, "Those eyes! Aren't they gorgeous? I could eat them!" Kiri takes a step backward. She's looking at me like I'm crazy. "I didn't mean that literally!" I explain to her, backtracking. "Seriously, I didn't!" Geez, are we really having this discussion? When did I become a cannibal?

"Look," Kiri begins, her tone that of a nurse talking to a hospice patient, "I _know_ he's pretty, Nora. Very, _very_ pretty," she adds as an afterthought, her eyes dislodged from mine. "But what's the price? You can't know it yet. Neither can I, but I have a _bad_ feeling about him. Please consider giving him up."

What is he? An addiction? He kind of is, actually. I think I'd go through withdrawal if I went a week without seeing those sparkling, turquoise eyes. Fuck I'm fucked. "I can't," I explain, trying to sound resigned rather than delighting in my refusal. "I simply can't, Kiri. I _like_ him."

"Do you love him?"

Fuck!

I knew this was coming. Did nothing to stop it. Geez, my answer is so confused. Do I _love_ Gabriel? Sometimes I think I do and sometimes I'm not quite there yet. He's such a presence in my life now, such a captivating intoxicant. Yet sometimes he freaks me out. I do _like_ him. But love?

"Almost," I say, finding the middle ground. "I know I can. Any day now," I say hurriedly, trying to lighten the mood. I fail. I'm too aware Gabriel could be listening. "It's complicated, Kiri," I continue, "I definitely like him. _Love_ is a big word for a girl who's never been in it."

Kiri is staring at me. This is one of the rare times I can't tell what she's thinking. "I have to go," she says. "My parents are expecting me for dinner. _Remember_ , Nora – I warned you today. This isn't about anything besides your safety. Something tells me it won't just be your heart ripped out!"

Passing me in the hall, she goes back into our dorm. I stand in place for a moment, shock freezing my muscles. Or is it fear? No – it's shock. How can she say such mean things? It is jealously? Or genuine, loving concern for my wellbeing? I can't begin to tell. Turning, I follow her into our room.

"Goodbye, Gabriel," Kiri says sweetly, tugging her sweater from the back of her chair. "It was nice meeting you and everything. Be nice to Nora," she says suggestively. "And stay warm!"

"Oh, we will," my wizard friend answers.

Was he listening? I can't tell. I'm beginning to seriously worry about the idea. Gabriel wouldn't share what he'd heard. He'd internalize it and be mad at me later like any other guy. But I want to know now!

Standing, Gabriel reaches for the cello case. "Can I help you out?"

"Yes, please!" Kiri says, grabbing up her duffle bags. "Bye, Nora. Have a good time! I'll be back Sunday night."

I nod receptively. "Cool. See you then." I can't keep the cold from my voice.

Luckily I don't have to. For Gabriel and Kiri are gone, out the door and down the flight of stairs to the parking lot. Leave it to Kiri to call a guy dangerous and then accept his offer for help. _I_ wasn't going to offer. Couldn't bring myself to. That girl has serious nerve criticizing my dating habits!

Five minutes later Gabriel is back.

"What did she say?" I ask him as soon as he's through the door. "Did she tell you anything? Tell me, Gabriel!"

He looks confused, replying "Why? Should she have?"

I'm trying to look nonchalant. "No," I lie through my teeth. "Anyway, she decided you're not gay!"

A slight smile playing about his mouth, Gabriel sits opposite me on Kiri's newly vacated bed, his arms suspending his body as he leans back. "Then how come you look so worried?" he asks, furrowing his brow.

_Fucking shitballs!_ What do I say now?

The question is whether I can confide in him. Can I tell him what she told me? Would that destroy everything? Is _not_ telling him a cowardly act or a selfless one? I have no answers. That, as usual, is the real problem.

"It's nothing," I say.

Turquoise eyes glisten. "You're biting your lip, Nora."

Oh fuck!

He caught me. Bizarrely, I feel hungry. Hunger pangs are nearly nonexistent in my life now, except at strange, random times. I've not eaten in over a month. It's all so strange. I can't explain it.

Releasing my lip, I stare across the room at Gabriel.

_Fuck he's handsome!_ says my alter ego.

_It's nice we agree for once_ , I reply.

Windswept blond hair is a mess above marble skin and turquoise eyes. What a palette before me. Tangerine robes seem to bring out everything. All of his insane gloriousness. A taste of heaven.

"Now the issue of my sexuality is settled," Gabriel begins menacingly, "I'd like to act on my newly reacquired heterosexual rights! If you will do me the honor, Ms. Saynt-Rae, I will do you!"

Stowing my grin with sufficient difficulty, I swipe my hair behind my ear. "Can't you just say 'let's fuck' like a normal person?"

I mean this as a joke.

Without missing a beat, turquoise eyes settle on my soul. "Let's fuck!"

## Chapter Ten

"Come here."

I can't control myself. Without supplying voluntary action, I stand and go to him. Sit on Kiri's bed beside him. Whoa – those turquoise eyes are luminous. My hand travels across the bedspread to his.

"You know," I begin hesitantly, "I've never done this before."

His eyes never leave mine. "I know," he says.

"That doesn't bother you?"

He shakes his head. "Not at all."

"Well, it should," I tell him. "What if _you're_ terrible? How would you feel if my first time sucked because of you?" I shouldn't be asking this. It'll kill the mood. For some reason I almost want to dissuade him. It's a way of making sure he's the one – seeing if he can survive my doubts. Call me crazy.

"I _can't_ be terrible," he says with a finality bordering on arrogance.

"What if –"

"For the record," he interrupts, smile slow and easy, "I wouldn't care if I ruined your first time. But I know that won't be the case. Stop worrying."

Oh Gabriel, you romantic you!

I can't go back. I'm too taken by him. By the blond of his hair and the turquoise of his eyes and the marble of his skin. And yes! By the same arrogance I detest! Judge me all you want but I find it kind of hot. He's so full of it. Drenched in the stuff like me in my perfume right now.

Breaking eye contact, Gabriel looks down at my hand where his thumb is caressing my knuckles. "You have nothing to worry about," he tells me. "We won't even need a condom. See, when wizards –"

"No condom!" I gasp, hearing nothing else. "What do you mean 'no condom'? I'm out, Gabriel! I'm not getting pregnant!" Breathing hard, my head is spinning around his words. No condom! Who does he think he is?

Turquoise eyes close. "You didn't let me finish," he says, voice remaining calm despite my outburst. "When wizards and witches have sex we don't need one. We have a useful little charm. It's performed right beforehand and forestalls any – any pregnancies," he finishes, looking uncomfortable.

"Oh, a charm," I repeat, my voice high and girlish. "That'll do the trick!"

He looks at me deadpan. "It will, actually."

"It better!" I growl. "It fucking better, Gabriel!"

Our romance is off to a good start, wouldn't you say? The problem is I put off thinking about this moment. Well, I have _thought_ about it. But you know – I've managed _not_ to think about the part where it's my first time. Where I'm a virgin. I've managed to push that away. Till now. Till I heard myself say it aloud.

"Someone doesn't want a baby," Gabriel says, grinning at me. "Don't think you'll make a good mother?"

Don't think I'll make a good mother! That's it! The last straw! Fury is boiling up. "Fuck you, Gabriel!" I yell, pulling my hand from his. "Fuck you and your wizardry and all your fucking anti-vampire shit! I'm done!"

Soon as I'm standing he pulls me back to him. Next thing I know my lips are soaking in the bliss of his kiss. Sweet in my mouth, like cinnamon and sugar. Why can't he be this sweet always? Closing my eyes, I gather every taste to me. Every sensation. Oh how glorious, oh the swirling perfection!

When I open my eyes, I'm blazing in a bath of turquoise. "That had nothing to do with me," Gabriel remarks. "You're nervous, Nora. _Relax_ – you know me. Better than anybody. It will be fine. It's going to be more than fine. It's going to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Relax!"

I try. But it's so hard. I bet he can feel my heartbeat. I'm going haywire in there. Whether that's nervousness or the residue of his kiss I can't know. Taking several deep breaths, I calm my heart.

"Sorry. I – I didn't mean that."

Swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead, Gabriel leans back on the bed. "I know you didn't," he responds, his eyes searching mine. "Fascinating to hear all the same. Extremely fascinating."

_Fucking shit!_ Time to change the subject.

"Kiss me!" I order.

He doesn't need telling twice. Leaning in, Gabriel envelopes me in his lips. They are so good to me. Inside him I fall away and forget about pain and confusion. Wrapping my tongue around his, I play with him furiously. Parts of my body are growing hot. Oh geez! I'm a goner. At least I know it.

Gabriel's right hand finds its way under the back of my shirt. Coming up, it massages my sides before popping my bra expertly. Too expertly. Not a good sign. He doesn't stop kissing me, his free hand curled around the back of my head and massaging my neck with his thumb. He reaches under my shirt and pulls my bra away, tossing it to the floor. How expendable he finds my wardrobe.

Geez, the simple act of him carelessly discarding my clothes is incredibly arousing.

But it's superfluous.

Because his tongue's inside me, searching me, looking for my womanhood and finding it. My whole body is heating up. Parts are already on fire. I feel it most in my breasts and groin. I feel _ready_ for him down there, wet and glistening. Will it hurt? I find it hard to care right now. I'm too ready. As I feel my body shuddering for him I realize I've been ready for an extremely long time.

Then I remember.

"Gabriel!" I gasp mid-kiss.

Flustered, Gabriel releases his claim on my mouth. "What is it?"

"We – we can't do this!" I exclaim through clenched teeth. I want him so badly! Yet I can't have him. I know it now. This denial of my needs is _so_ painful. Bordering on torture. How did I forget?

_Because you're an idiot_ , my alter ego informs me. _That's how_.

_Stay out of this!_ I shout at her. _Go away!_

"What's with it?" Gabriel asks, panting. "What's wrong?"

I face-palm. "We forgot!"

"Forgot what?"

"The Puridites!" I'm so ready to make him mine! To be rid of my virginity forever. None of that will be happening. I can't think about it anymore. It's too painful. "We can't do this," I tell him. "Remember? They'll come here if we do! Wizards _can't_ be with Immags – you said so yourself! Did you forget?"

Swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead, Gabriel gazes past me and out the window, the turquoise of his eyes lost to unknown thoughts. "No," he says finally, "I didn't forget. I _can't_ forget. Try having a political party as unreasonable as the Puridites rule your world. Trust me – they hammer _their_ ways into your skull, but I wasn't going to let them get in _our_ way."

I stare at him, my body still hot. "You can't be serious."

"I am," he counters. "I'm not afraid of them, Nora. I – I like you," he says falteringly. "I like you a lot. I may be an asshole sometimes. That's the way I am. Doesn't mean I can't – can't... _love_."

Oh geez. There it is!

"You love me?" I gasp, staring into his eyes. "For real?"

He blinks. Nods. "I think so, Nora. Lord help me."

Oh shitballs!

What do I do now? Do I say 'I love you' back? Or would that be unspontaneous? If I don't say it, he may think I don't love him. Everything could fall apart. _Fucking fuck!_ What do I do? What do I do? I'm lost for actions. I can either be unloving or unspontaneous? Which should I choose?

I open my mouth. "Gabriel, I –"

Seizing me, he kisses me hard, filling me – my every crevice, my every inch with the majesty of his being. Oh sweet tickling gloriousness, how you fall upon me. Mercy! My breasts and pussy are aflame, burning me down. Oh geez, he's inside me! Inside my mouth with his tongue. Massaging my soul.

Turquoise eyes are alight. "I'm taking off your shirt now."

"But!" I splutter, "the Puridites?"

Gabriel grins, dazzling me in white teeth. "Fuck 'em."

Grabbing his face, I start kissing him furiously. Gabriel pulls my turtleneck up to my neckline and then over my head. For the merest second our connection is interrupted and it's agony to my hungrily lapping consciousness. He's visible and I'm upon him, sucking the sweet of his lips.

Carnivorous!

I'm so blinded by my appetite for him it's a moment before I realize my breasts are free. Completely visible. No sooner do I realize this then break from him, releasing his face and covering myself with crossed arms. Turquoise eyes are alive above a wide smile. I'm blushing furiously, tightening my arms.

"Stop looking at me!"

He leans back on his hands. The better to take me in. "Bashful? I wouldn't have guessed. Your clothes came off so easily!"

I blush still further at this. "I was distracted!"

"I could tell," he murmurs.

"Yeah, well," I begin distantly, "good luck getting the rest of my clothes off!"

Some of my dignity will be preserved. I still have my blue jeans and panties on. Gabriel draws his wand from the pocket of his tangerine robes and begins twirling it between his fingers. Never a good sign.

"You wouldn't dare!" I hiss.

Eyebrows rise. "Think so?"

_Oh fuck!_ So much for my dignity.

Curling up against the wall, my arms covering my exposed breasts, I glare at him. Secretly, I'm crazy turned on by his threats to charm my clothes off. "If you do," I threaten, "I'll write the Bureau of Magic! Tell them what you've been doing with me. They'd fire you as a Releaser, I'm sure!"

He cocks his head to the side. "Ingenious," he says, "except not. The Bureau would never take the word of an Immag over that of a wizard, not even concerning the wizard's breach of the law. The system is rampant with abuse and you can see why. The Bureaus biggest enemy is its belief system."

_Fucking shitballs_.

He got me there. I'm too turned on to care. Grabbing him, I suck his face. Oh he's wonderful in my mouth! Spectacular. Everything I thought he'd be and more! His tongue is a tickling massage inside me. That's not to mention his taste. Cinnamon and sugar. Unbelievable.

I'm stripping him. Pulling tangerine robes from his shoulders I take them from his body. It's a bit of a struggle. Soon they're sprawled on the floor. I notice he's retained his wand. Worrisome or wondrous? I dearly hope the latter.

Under the robes he's wearing T-shirt and jeans. Very Immag. I kiss him intermittently as I pull his shirt up and over his head. I suckle his lips a while longer before glancing down. Instantly I'm reminded of my dream in the forest. Of Gabriel and myself on a bed of white surrounded by trees. Of his naked, marble white chest. I can't help the gasp that escapes my lungs.

The naked chest here is exactly the one I saw. It's hairless, more toned than muscular except for his nicely shaped pecks. His nipples appear firm to the eyes but are soft to the touch as I feel them with my fingers, rubbing his chest up and down. I'm not controlling myself, my inner animal has taken over.

Sinking his lips to mine, Gabriel devours me, eating me whole, sucking the need from my body through my mouth. There are no words for what he's doing to me. Only flames. I'm covered in them – my entire body. Most of all my breasts and groin. My breasts are so hard, thirsting for his mouth. My pussy is so wet, thirsting to be dry. It needs him, the power of him, the satisfaction of him, but nothing more than the _thrust_ of him.

I'm so ready!

My fingers are moving without consent. They sink to his waistline and find his zipper without help from my eyes. They roll it down before finding the rims of his jeans and boxers. They pull. Hard! Gabriel is naked before me on the bed, his back against the wall, his blond hair a mess and his eyes crazed with delight.

His cock is madly hard.

Surrounded by the backdrop of his thin frame, it only looks harder. He's cut – I can tell that much. With my limited experience there's not much else I can discern. Big or small? I have no comparison.

"What are you staring at?" Gabriel is grinning magnificently. "My face is up here!" Despite him, I can't rivet my gaze from his throbbing, erect penis. "What? Not big enough for you? I'll have you know –"

"I wouldn't know," I interrupt. "I've never seen one before. Not in real life."

This seems to cheer him up. Fixing me with his blazing turquoise eyes, he doesn't look away. Not as he unzips my jeans. Not as he pulls them from my body. Not as he pulls my panties down my legs and tosses them aside.

We're naked in bed. Possibilities!

"Deep breath," Gabriel says, sliding one arm under my neck and pushing me down on the pillow with his free hand. I'm prostrate on the bed facing the ceiling. "That's it," he murmurs, his hand now massaging my chest. "Nothing to worry about," he reassures, accurately interpreting my nerves. "Nothing to see here..."

Unbelievable. How exciting it is having a guy touch my chest at last. Not simply touching, but massaging – feeling every part of me. One second sliding over my stomach, the next circling my nipples with his thumb. Gabriel is _so_ good at it. They harden and then soften and then harden and then soften. He's torturing me with pleasure. It's so, _so_ working. I can't get enough!

He kisses me, the cinnamon of his tongue blessing my mouth. Conflicted thoughts falling away, I'm airborne, flying through the sky on a sugary carpet ride. What a transport! What a kiss! I'm lost to him.

Slowly – so slowly – his mouth leaves mine. Sinks to my chest. He's drenching my left nipple in his tongue, swirling around me and lighting my every fuse. I am burning alive under the expert move of his every flick. Geez, I thought getting felt up was good! I couldn't begin to imagine a minute ago.

Releasing my nipple, he finds my mouth. Something new is happening. His hand is massaging me. But not just massaging me. It's going lower and lower, closer and closer to where I'm afraid of it going. Then he's there, first massaging around it. Then massaging around it more. Then more.

He's inside me!

Turquoise eyes find me. Their flames are alive above an unrepressed smile. "My finger's in your cunt."

The nerve!

"I noticed," I inform him.

"How does it feel?"

I try and swipe my hair behind my ear. Hard when a pillow is right behind you. "It feels fine." I'm trying my best to sound cool and nonchalant. "I was hoping for something else there to be honest."

He dazzles me in a fresh smile. "I know you were," he remarks. "I'm testing the waters. Literally," he adds, pulling his finger from me. Geez, it does look wet! And – swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead with is free hand – Gabriel raises his freed finger. "To your health, Nora."

He licks his finger dry.

Not gonna lie – kinda turned on by that. "How does it taste?"

Geez, I feel so dirty saying these things!

Turquoise eyes meet the ceiling, his expression thoughtful. "Like chai latte!"

"Yay!" I exclaim.

I want to start kissing again so I sit up. He pushes me back down. He's grasping his wand. His magical wand... I guess that doesn't narrow it down much either. "Be still!" he commands, raising his wand.

"What are you going to do?" I gasp.

Geez, I didn't mean to sound that worried.

_Yes you did_ , observes my alter ego. _You confused thing, you!_

_Shut the fuck up!_ I shout her down. _I'm trying to have fun here!_

"A couple of spells," Gabriel responds. "Be still!"

Not entirely convinced, I refrain from moving. Instead, I stare at him as he raises his wand. If he's going to curse me he'll at least have the guilt of my lingering stare forever stamped on his soul.

"Alleviate!" Gabriel enunciates, pointing his wand at my pussy.

Nothing happens. What the fuck?

I prop myself up the better to see my no-no place. "What did you –?"

"Shh!" Gabriel interrupts. Looking down at his naked form, he taps his erect cock with his wand. "Affixi!" A ghostly sheath enwraps itself around him, tightens, and disappears. What the flying shitballs?

"What –?"

Grasping my breasts with his hands, his mouth finds me, burying his tongue inside me. I'm his everything! His host. His meal. His consciousness inside another. I love it! I love the feeling of his mad desire, of his hands grasping at my chest like an animal, of his turquoise eyes lost of all sense of sight, blazing and luminous. He's taken. Gone. Lost to his urges. I wouldn't have him any other way!

My turn.

Pushing him from me hard, I dart from his grasp. He lunges for me but I dodge him. He raises his wand. Now's my chance to do something I've been wanting to do for a while. Without waiting for his curse, I snatch his wand away and throw it across the room. It hits the wall opposite, falling behind my bed. Good! Hard to get at. Swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead, Gabriel is looking daggers at me. He throws himself at me. I dodge him, waving. Baiting him.

"No wand dear wizard," I taunt, "we're on even footing at last!"

Turquoise eyes narrowing, Gabriel launches himself at me. He catches me near the headboard. Sinking his lips to mine, he's ready to consume me. With an almighty heave, with everything I've got, I push him hard. He falls backward on the bed with an unrestrained gasp, facing the ceiling.

I sit up as he's doing the same. I don't have much time. Grabbing him by the feet, I pull him closer to me. This destabilizes him and he falls backward with a grunt. He's nearly up again – looking furious now – when I manage to do what I've been _trying_ to do this whole fucking time.

I grasp his penis.

And lick it.

Softly at first. Then furiously. Putting everything I have into it.

The fight goes out of him instantly. Breathing hard, he falls back to the sheets, prostrate. Staring at the ceiling. His heart haywire. Feeling the tickle of my tongue on him. Snuggling into the sheets, he moans my name.

Geez, I didn't know I was that good!

The taste? Well, it doesn't taste like chai latte... Let's put it that way. It tastes like warm salt water. Smells like chlorine. He _feels_ better. I'm loving this – the feeling of his throbbing fullness inside me. If his tongue is satisfying it's nothing compared to this. Though his tongue tastes better...

"Stop!" Gabriel moans at last. "Stop – don't finish me off!"

Sitting up, I wipe his pre cum from my lips. Then smack them. "Doesn't taste like magic," I tell him, grinning.

"Go fuck yourself." But he's grinning wider. And he's kissing me, the bliss of him making me lightheaded and high. Here's the taste I like! Cinnamon and sugar. Salty warmth is hardly necessary!

Warmth is.

And I'm burning. On fire for him. For his blond hair. For his white teeth. For his marble skin. Most of all for those turquoise eyes! The same that claim my soul as their property. I'm his for the ruining! I love it! I love him! The sensation of him in my mouth. In my soul. Everywhere!

My pussy is exploding. Crying out for desperate mercy. It wants pleasure. It wants fun. Most of all it wants relief. Relief from the drenching, all encompassing agony brought by unmet desire. All my senses have feasted. Except for her. Tortured feelings are rippling up and down my body, making me tense.

Gabriel massages my breasts as he kisses me. I'm bursting, ripping apart with pleasure, and he hasn't even fucked me yet. I can't imagine what it will be like. I think I'm going to cry out. I don't want to, but I don't think I'll have a choice. It's taking restraint now not to moan my pleasure.

Gabriel breaks from me. My mouth finally free, I open it to speak. Clasping his hand over it, he silences me. He pushes me up until my back is against the headboard and my bottom sprawled across Kiri's pillow. _Fuck!_ I forgot – this is _her_ bed! Too late now... Gabriel is clasping my ankles, keeping them high. Oh geez, I know what's coming next. Him. His thick, throbbing gloriousness.

"Take a deep breath," Gabriel orders. This I can't help. I'm practically hyperventilating. But I take an extremely obvious, deep breath to satisfy him. Fat lot that will do. "Are you ready?" Oh wizards and their niceties. I guess they can't help themselves. I nod once. Close my eyes.

He thrusts into me.

My eyes fly open.

Holy fuck!

Crazily enormous! I feel him stretching me apart, all my insides. Unbelievably, it doesn't hurt! It – it... feels good! It feels so wondrously good! Like a burning, aching pain doused in cold water. It's relief. Filling! Literally. His cock is a battering ram breaking down my innocence. I love it! I love it so much! I moan against him as he plunges in and out of me, doing away with me.

I cry out in pain when he hits a crag. Only happens once. The rest is a bed of bliss, of softly sensuous massaging wet that threatens to drown me in pleasure. A living thing can't feel this good! It's impossible. Surely I'll have a heart attack to pay for it. If I knew it was coming would I stop? No...

Gabriel's breath is coming in gasps, his own pleasure shaking him. Closing my eyes, I listen to the sound of his exertion. It's like music to my ears, like waves lapping against distant shores. As my hearing tightens, I make distinctions. His breaths are coming faster, his pounding of my pussy quickening.

It's coming like a far away tsunami. Sometimes seeming close, sometimes far, but always on the horizon. Always a threat. My heart rate is picking up. My breasts are enlarged and aroused. My pussy is engulfed in flames. The tsunami is going to put it out. It's coming! It's here! But I... I – I!

I burst around his cock, exploding into screams of pleasure. My arms and legs spreading in every direction, my body shuddering madly and bursting like a water balloon of sweat over Kiri's bed.

The tsunami has arrived.

Gasping for breath, I try and sit up. But I collapse back to the bed, my body destroyed. Gabriel collapses in place beside me. We lay there like wasted hounds, our exhausted gasps falling in sync.

The residue of our pleasure is soaking the bed beneath us. We're in a pool of it. Geez, Kiri is going to be so mad... you know what? Fuck her. She was getting all up in my grill right before leaving. She deserves a little payback. Accusing me of dating a 'dangerous' boy. What am I? A biker bitch?

Our gasping breaths subsiding, Gabriel frowns at me.

"What?" I'm feeling self-conscious.

He shakes his head. "Nothing," he says, his brow furrowed. "I – I thought I smelled something a moment ago. For a second I thought it was... Never mind. I wonder what Merri would make if it."

"How is Merri?" I'm hoping to distract him.

Oh geez, do I smell? Smelling bad is a pet peeve of mine. I can't stand it. Getting up, I go to my chest of draws. Finding my perfume, I spray it all over my naked body. Liberally. There! That's better.

"She's well," Gabriel muses from the bed, watching me. "Started hunting at night like normal owls. Took me by surprise. Funny owl..." His thoughts seem elsewhere. Probably on my terrible odor.

Perfumed and fantastic, I go back to bed and curl up beside him. His blond hair looks epic after sex. Maybe because he swept it aside so much. It's wonderful, messy, bringing out the crazy turquoise of his eyes. Rubbing his sweaty chest, I sink in for a simple kiss on the lips. Nothing special. Nothing better.

I tell him, "You were amazing!"

Turquoise eyes reflect me. "So were you."

"Has your life improved _now_?" I ask playfully.

He gazes up at the ceiling, his tone mocking. "Well, naturally."

I'm about to respond when I recognize a strange pang. It comes from afar, from many weeks back. Something I don't feel much anymore. Hunger! Not for Gabriel. Not for sex. For food! Bizarre for it to come so randomly. I feel like I've lost all touch with my body since coming to Evergreen State College. Well, except when having explosive, orgasmic sex with my wizard friend.

"Can I call you _my_ wizard?"

Gabriel starts in surprise. "What?"

"I'm tired of calling you 'my wizard friend'," I admit, blushing against the bedspread. "Now that we've – you know – I should be able to call you _my_ wizard!"

"I've never, ever heard you call me 'your wizard friend'," Gabriel says. "But sure. Call me your wizard, your boyfriend, your lover, your giver of all things. Anything so long as I get to keep fucking you!"

I giggle helplessly. "You're such a romantic, Gabriel. You're also my wizard!"

Splotches of red color the periphery of my vision. Looking down for the first time since coming, I gasp still air. Blood peppers Gabriel's midsection. It's splattered across his legs and coloring his cock. Propping myself up, I look down. My whole groin is covered in it. How didn't I notice?

Gabriel is watching me. "Don't worry about that," he says calmly, "It's normal for a virgin. It won't always happen."

I'm alarmed and confused. "But – but I don't understand! I didn't feel any pain. It was all good... all _pleasure_."

"I said _don't_ worry about it," Gabriel repeats, looking distressed. "Are you hungry?"

My thoughts are everywhere. "Yes, strangely."

"You look thin, Nora," Gabriel says, his tone chastising. "Unhealthily so. You need to eat more. Have you been eating?"

To lie or not to lie? To lie. "Yes," I tell him.

"I'm not so sure," he says flatly. "Either way, eat more and more often. Understand?" Who the fuck does he think he is? As I open my mouth to tell him off, he opens his. "We're not arguing about this! I don't know if it's anorexia or not, but I'd rather you be healthy than thin. Tell me you understand that."

"I –" I begin.

"Tell me!"

"Okay, okay! I understand!"

Holy bejusus fuck!

What is with everybody lately? Still, I don't want to argue about it. So I'm going to change the subject. "Gabriel, earlier you said I know you better than anybody. Did you mean that?" To my surprise, I'm actually interested to hear the answer to my distraction question. Who'd of thought?

He nods once, turquoise eyes searching mine. "Yes I did, Nora. If you haven't noticed, I'm a bit of a loner."

"I noticed," I remark. "It – well – I thought it was a strong opinion."

He doesn't blink. "It is."

It's time. I can't go too long without saying it. There is a shelf life for this type of response, unfortunately. Because I _would_ have liked more time. Oh well. Here goes nothing, as they say.

"You know I love you, Gabriel." Swiping my hair behind my ear as I say this, I refuse to break his unrelenting eye contact. I need to look as appealing as possible in this moment. "Do you love me?"

He swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "You know I do," he says to me. "I told you. Did you forget?"

"I mean for – like – always. I want you to say you'll _never_ stop loving me, Gabriel. I want to hear it."

_Calm the fuck down you needy cunt_ , says my alter ego. _You're going to ruin everythin_ g!

_You're the only thing that needs ruining!_ I yell back.

"I will never stop loving you, Nora Saynt-Rae," Gabriel promises. "Never ever! For as long as we live, I will be yours and you will be mine. Till the seas have claimed the lands and the skies have claimed the seas and the sun has claimed the skies, I will be your man! There," he finishes, "how was that?"

"Brilliant," I answer. "Insanely brilliant, actually. Almost overdid it but not quite. Well done. You are magical on occasion, Gabriel."

"I don't care for your indictments."

"Nor I for your vampire vendettas," I inform him.

We stare at each, neither surrendering. I surrender. "But," I tell him prophetically, "I fear our love will not stand the test of time. The Puridites will come for us and rip us to pieces. Perhaps not just our relationship but our bodies as well. The clock has started ticking. They are coming for us."

Gabriel narrows his eyes. "When did you become so versed in these matters?"

"I'm repeating what you told me," I say. "You said they keep a look out for when wizards and Immags are fraternizing. Disobeying their laws. We've done _it._ The deed. They can tell, can't they?"

A long pause. "Yes," he responds.

I stare at him, panic rising inside me. I didn't mean all that. Didn't mean _any_ of it. I was joking – being theatrical. I didn't think they'd actually come. Didn't think they'd be able to tell as soon as we had sex. _Fucking fuck!_ This is worse than I imagined. I am – _we are_ – going to pay for this!

"Why didn't you tell me?" I yell. I fling myself from his arms. "Gabriel, how could you! You kept it secret from me!"

"That wasn't my intention!"

I remind him, "Well, you did! Now we're both dead!"

He swipes blond hair to the side of his forehead. "We're not both dead," he says, sounding exasperated. "Relax, Nora! You're giving them way too much credit. And me too little," he adds sourly.

I'm pacing up and down the center of the small room, my thoughts on my tongue. "They'll come for us! They'll know everything by the time they get here. They'll kill you and curse me. My life is over!" I'm feeling this truth for the first time. "My parents will be so mad at me!"

"You're mental."

I turn on him. "Mental! You're the one who got us into this! Get us out!"

I'm astonished to see a smile playing about his features. He'd be twirling his wand in his fingers if he had it, I know. " _That_ is my plan," he reassures me, "to get us out of this! Nora, you're underestimating the magical skill and talent required to become a Releaser at the Bureau of Beast Control. I'm not an average wizard. Far above it. I thought you would have figured that out."

He doesn't get this victory long. "Who will come for us?" I snap, knowing the dreaded answer to my question.

"Releasers from the Bureau of Beast Control," he answers, turquoise eyes bright with anticipation. "Why do you ask?"

Geez, he likes to bait me, doesn't he?

"Listen, Nora," he continues, his smile slipping, "The Bureau has been infuriating me. They've basically left me out here to rot. They ignore my messages and assume I've given up trying to find the Newborn _after_ giving me a broken Vampass... in any case, I don't agree with the Puridite Party's line on wizard and Immag relations. If I'm going to indict myself in protest, it's going to be on that issue."

None of this makes me feel better. "So it's political? You've endangered us because of your issues with the Puridites?"

He appears surprised. "Yes. I – I thought you'd approve, Nora. I'm making a stand for what I believe in. What I believe is people like you and me should be able to enter into relations if we so desire. Should be able to have sex if we desire. Should be able to marry if we desire! That's what I believe! How about you, Nora? What do _you_ believe?"

Stopping my pacing, I take a deep breath. "Sorry for my outburst. I'm feeling kind of high-strung."

He nods. "I can tell. I think you need to eat. Your poor diet isn't contributing to your reasoning skills."

The nerve! How dare he criticize me like that!

"Stop telling me to eat! It's annoying, Gabriel!"

He's scanning me perceptively. "I've touched a nerve."

"Undeniably!" I shoot. Was that a good comeback? I'm not sure. I didn't think before saying it. "Let's get along! I'm tired of fighting. Don't criticize me and I'll try not to question you. Deal?"

"Deal," he responds. Standing up, he comes to me and soaks me in the sugar of his kiss. He breaks from me. "Let's get a shower," he suggests. "Also, you may want to replace your roommate's comforter."

What on earth is he talking about?

I look at it. Oh... right. It's splattered with blood. Geez, how did I not feel that? It _looks_ like it hurt. Yet it didn't. I can't begin to explain it. "Okay, I will," I tell him. I'm trying not to appear overly surprised.

* * *

Gabriel and I take a long shower together. I've never taken a shower with anyone. I enjoy myself cleaning him and I hope he enjoys cleaning me. Though judging from the expression on his face while I lather soap onto a particular part of his body, he's enjoying it. Like, a lot.

Clean and dry, we go back to my room. Geez, it's nice not having to worry about Kiri. I can dress without eyes on me. Well, this isn't the best moment to illustrate that. Pulling on clean jeans and a fresh bra, I feel cold. The warmth of the sheets and shower gone, I realize how cold it is in my room.

Gabriel is watching me. "Here, put this on."

My turtleneck. "I'm not sure that will be warm enough," I say, searching around for my jacket. It's on my bed. Looking back, I see Gabriel's eyebrows nearly disappear into his hair. "Oh, right!" I gasp.

_You're precious_ , my alter ego tells me.

_Go fuck yourself_ , I tell her.

Pulling the turtleneck over my head, I instantly feel comfortable. My body is the perfect temperature. "Does the charm last forever?"

"Not exactly," he answers. "A form of it will last for a long period, but it will lose strength over time. It will take a few years before it's just a turtleneck. Not a magical turtleneck. Anyway, how about food?"

I'm marveling at my newfound comfort. "I'm not hungry."

"Of course you're not!" Sitting on my bed, he pulls his T-shirt and jeans back on before covering them with tangerine robes. "I'm going back to the forest. Food first. Sure you don't want to come with?"

Stretching beneath my bed, my fingers grasp his wand and I retrieve it into daylight. Laying it on my palm, I offer it to him like a great and noble sword. He eyes me deprecatingly before taking it.

"For your 'reconnaissance work'," I explain, fleshing my tone with doubt, "go forth and reconnaissance!"

Gabriel scowls, swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "I'm trying to find the Newborn," he reiterates. "It's coming terribly slowly. When I discover more, I will take you to the coven's lair."

"You promise?"

Pocketing his wand in his tangerine robes, he takes my hands in his and lowers them. Then he kisses me. A fantastical, lingering kiss that drenches my consciousness in the majesty of his promise.

* * *

I'm walking back to my dorm after an exhaustibly boring session of English 103: English Composition, when something unimaginable happens. Mom calls me. I stare at the name stenciled across the screen.

I can't believe it.

Mom hasn't called in over two months. Actually, she hasn't contacted me since dropping me off. So much for her tears. But now she is. Calling out of the blue. I can't get a grip on it. Trying to shrug off my already mounting dissonance, I answer my phone. "Hi, Mom," I say, trying to sound casual.

"Nora!" Surprise is the emotion I detect in her voice. Did she think I wouldn't answer? She's my mom. "I'm so glad to have gotten hold of you! I was worried you wouldn't answer!" So much for that.

Halfway across Red Square, I find the nearest wrought-iron bench and sit. "I'm here, Mom. What do you want?"

"You, of course!" she exclaims. "Sweetie, I'm almost to Evergreen. I thought we could do lunch. Are you free, honey?"

I gaze around wildly as though searching for eavesdroppers. I have half a mind to lie and say I have class. I can't deny it. I'm upset about how she treated Dad. About how she found a boyfriend and moved in with him out of spite. But I can't lie to my mother. So I say, "No, Mom. I'm free."

"Perfect!" Mom whoops. "I'll be driving up to Red Square soon. Do you know where that is, sweetie?"

I dearly want to twist my phone in my hands until it breaks. I fight off this impulse. "Yes – I'm there now."

A gasp of excitement. "Excellent! Perfect! I'll be there in five minutes. Bye." She hangs up on me.

Astonished, I stare at my phone. Disbelieving. First she ignores me for two months. Then she calls out of the blue and wants to hang out. No warning. Now she hangs up on me. Our connection has been refurbished for a whole minute and already I want to scream. Instead, I take several deep breaths.

Twenty minutes later I see her Toyota Matrix pull around the horseshoe shaped road at the base of Red Square. Getting up, my weightless backpack in tow over my shoulder, I walk to her car.

It's a windy November day. I'm glad to be wearing my charmed turtleneck. I feel fine. Well, temperature wise, at least.

"Darling!" Mom coos through the open window. "Get in, get in!"

I'm relieved to find her alone. Waving half heartedly, I toss my backpack in the backseat before climbing in beside her. Hugging me tightly, she kisses me on the cheek. She's drenched in Chanel's _Chance_. Mom – the only person in the universe who wears more perfume than I do. Lord help us.

"You must be cold!" Mom says loudly, her grey eyes falling over my turtleneck. "Where's your jacket?"

"Oh, it's fine," I say, waving her away. What am I supposed to say? That my wizard boyfriend charmed my clothes? Get fucking real. "Really, it's fine! I'm comfortable," I reiterate hotly.

"Well, if you say so," she says.

"I do."

She glances at me with curiosity before letting it go for now. "So!" she exclaims, clapping her hands together. "You know the area better than me! Where should we have lunch? You can show me the haunts!"

She's having too much fun. I'm about to tell her I don't eat and have no idea where to go when an idea strikes me. Sweet! "I know a place. Follow my directions and I'll get us there."

"Sounds like a plan!" She's effortlessly enthusiastic. "I'm so glad we could do this, Nora Saynt! So glad you didn't have class or something. How are your classes, by the way?" Mom asks in passing.

I gesture for her to drive around the horseshoe and onto the main road. "They're fine," I say carelessly. "Three English. One History. Looking like A's and B's. Probably more B's than A's."

Mom turns right, following my direction. "Three English! So many English classes, my little saint! Why so many?"

I stare in utter disbelief. A new low. "I'm an _English_ major, Mom," I tell her, deadpan. "Remember? I want to be a writer."

She frowns. "Oh," she says, "That's right!"

* * *

Mom looks up at the hanging sign. "The Mousetrap?"

"We're here!" I exclaim excitedly. I know she'll hate it. I can't wait! "Come on!" I lead her inside. It's surprisingly full for mid afternoon on a Monday. Maybe that's why it's surprisingly full.

Mom looks around in disgust. "A dive bar? Seriously, Nora Saynt?"

"It's great!" I remark, "They don't check I.D."

Without waiting for her approval, I dart to a table at the back and sit down. She has to follow me back. No complaints, no grievances. If she's not going to try to be a mother, I'm not going to try to be a daughter. She comes slowly, as she's busy feeling superior to her surroundings. It's a full time job.

I jump up as soon as she sits. "Want a drink?"

"A Coke will be fine," she answers. I start for the bar. "Nora!" I spin around. " _Diet_ Coke, please." Sighing, I turn back. "Oh, Nora Saynt!" Her voice is now singsong. Fighting the urge to ignore her, I turn again. "Get a lunch menu, honey."

A couple minutes later I'm back from the bar. A _Coke_ for her. A gin and tonic for me. Mom eyes my beverage, her brow furrowing at the fizzing liquid and the toy umbrella. "Sweetie, is that alcohol?"

"Yes," I reply. Why shouldn't I drink? You're here, after all. Geez, there's so many things I want to say to her. I didn't realize until she showed up how mad I am at her. For what she's done to Dad. For what she's done to me. _And_ for what she hasn't done for me. Like _called_ , for instance.

"I don't think you should be drinking in the afternoon during the week," Mom tells me.

So now she's a parent? Who'd have thought? "It's not a problem," I say, discarding her opinion at once. "I'm taking the night off from schoolwork." I'm already realizing I'll be too mad later to study. Geez, I _am_ furious. I need to distract myself from my anger. "Anyway, how are your students?"

"Wonderful!" Mom exclaims, elated by her favorite subject. "Fantastic, Nora Saynt! I've got this one girl in my class – oh – I love her! She's reading Tolstoy. Tolstoy, Nora! She's ten years old. Imagine it!"

"I really can't," I respond. Small talk isn't working.

Mom asks, "Where's the menu?"

I try hard not to smile. "There isn't one," I tell her. "The Mousetrap is a dive bar. If you want to go ask the bartender they may have chips. Maybe pretzels – I'm not sure. You'll have to ask them."

Mom's expression is impermeable. "I'm hungry, Nora Saynt. I drove all the way from Baring to see you. All I had this morning was coffee and yogurt."

The word 'yogurt' stirs my stomach unpleasantly. Honestly, it was more out of self interest than spite I took us here. True, I wanted to make Mom uncomfortable. I also knew I wouldn't be able to keep anything down. Knowing her, she'd force me to eat. Right in front of her. No excuses.

Mom says, "Why don't we finish our drinks and go somewhere with food."

"No," I tell her. "I don't want to."

"Nora!" Mom exclaims. "What's with you today? I make a special trip to see you and you won't let me eat. You're being rude!"

_Relax, Nora_ , my alter ego warns me. _Hang out for the afternoon and say goodbye._

_I can't_ , I respond. _I just can't!_

Fury is rising inside me. "Rude! I'll tell you what's rude, Mom! Rude is showing up out of the blue and demanding attention! I _don't_ believe you came out here to visit me! If you had, at least you'd have called first!" I'm breathing hard. Geez, it feels good to storm at her at last. I'm inhaling my alcohol.

Mom blinks and retreats. "Fine, then," she says coolly. "I may have been visiting Caroline in Olympia. You know, my friend from Ohio State. I don't see how that's any different. I'm still hungry, Nora Saynt."

I stamp my drink to the table, sloshing some over. "It matters," I rasp at her, "because you _didn't_ come all this way to see me! You came to see Carol – who you don't even like! I'm the afterthought. You don't get it, do you? It's all about _you_ , Mom! It always has been. You're so selfish!"

Mom is startled. "I'm not the selfish one, Nora Saynt," she tells me. "What about your father? Spending money all the time! He didn't need that motorcycle! He didn't need a _new_ Silverado! That year _I_ made more than he did because contracts were slow and I was salaried. What did he do? He went and bought a new car without asking me!"

"Forget Dad," I say furiously, "Dad's not here! _You're_ the one who hasn't contacted me since August. _You're_ the one who's completely ignored me! Not Dad. He's called every single week without fail!"

"Yes, yes!" Mom says happily. I stare in shock. "You said it, Nora Saynt! Eugene's _not_ here! But I am. I _am_ here, Nora! I came to see you! Has he shown his face since we moved you in?"

_Fucking shitballs!_ She has me here.

"Well, no," I begin, "but –"

"Sounds like inferior parenting to me!"

Geez, how is she getting away with this? I can't let her.

"I know what you've done!" I'm speaking over her now. "I know what your game is, Mom! I can't believe you did it! It's terrible! Finding a boyfriend because Dad had one date. _One_ fucking date, Mom! Now you're moved in with him. It's insanity. I'd never have believed it of you!"

There she has it. The big guns. I called her on her shit.

Mom bursts out laughing. _Holy fuck_... This can't be happening. I've gone insane. Or she has. None of it makes sense. I attacked her with everything I have. I want apologies. Tears. Not roars of laughter – uncharacteristic of my mother, of the woman I knew before divorce struck our home.

Her laughs become giggles. She slaps a hand to her face and pokes an eye through her fingers, looking at me. She manages, "I – I can't believe..." But she collapses into another fit. I wait for this to subside. "I... I can't believe _you_ believed all that, Nora Saynt!" she hiccups. "Oh my word!"

Oh no she didn't. Oh yes she did...

"What?" Disbelieving.

She hides her face. "I made it all up!"

Pushing my chair back, I stand. Gulping down the rest of my gin and tonic, I head for the bar. I'm getting another. I need it. Like, _really_ need it. When I return Mom has composed herself at last.

"You're a lunatic," I tell her, sitting back down.

Mom hiccups and quickly covers her mouth. "I know it was wrong," she admits, "but I don't know, Nora. It felt so good! The times I brought it up I could tell your father was jealous. It felt good."

Memory strikes. "The guy in the car? Who was he?"

"Eugene told you everything, didn't he?" Mom asks. She doesn't wait for an answer. "Michael McClendon from work. He teaches biology at Ridgeley. I was so worried your father would recognize him from the annual picnic I almost didn't go through with it. I don't think he noticed anything."

I'm so fascinated I forget to be angry. "What did you tell Mr. McClendon?"

"Oh, I forgot!" Mom says, putting her Coke down. "He was your teacher, too. I invited him out to lunch. He's going through a divorce, too, as it happens. He's not my type, Nora Saynt. Not in the least!"

"How so?"

Geez, Mom is so infuriating! She's so sociable and nice I simply can't stay mad at her. Her charm is like a blanket.

"For one thing," Mom begins, "he's a teacher! I can't date a teacher. They don't make enough money!"

I laugh at her joke. I can't help it. Because I can't stay mad at her. She's my Mom. In case you're wondering – yes – I do hate myself right now. So much for my fucking willpower. It's official. Now I suck at everything. Including hating my Mom.

Crossing her arms, Mom leans back in her chair. "I have a bone to pick with you."

Holy bejesus shitballs!

How on earth did she manage to turn this around? She's a master. "What is it?" I ask. Why am I tolerating this? Why am I tolerating her and her little games? The answer hits me. The alcohol. The fucking alcohol. It's mellowing me out like crazy. No wonder she's getting away with her shit.

"I had a call," Mom begins, "from the bursar's office."

Panic roars. "I haven't done anything to do with money!" Oh geez, this is her touchiest subject. "I haven't bought anything at the school store on credit besides my books. I haven't even _started_ using my points!"

"I know, I know!" Mom reassures, holding up a hand to quiet me. "It has nothing to do with money." My relief is visible and I know it. I'm already at her beck and call. I'm pathetic. "They called anyway," she continues, "The lady was uncomfortable. Apparently they're not supposed to make calls like this. But she said you've only had three meals all semester. She _also_ mentioned a girl died from anorexia a few years ago at Evergreen. She wants to make sure you're okay."

Fucking fuck!

I'm turning red. This is not news to digest while somewhat intoxicated. I am definitely a lightweight. I've figured that out by now. "I'm not anorexic," I tell her, my words panic stricken. "Really, I'm not!"

Mom eyes me up and down. "You do look thinner than I remember. But not skeletal. Not on death's doorstep."

"Thanks, Mom," I tell her sarcastically. "You know, for caring!"

She gestures to the ceiling. "What am I supposed to say? I never saw this coming, Nora Saynt. I didn't think you were that type of girl."

"I'm not!" I can't drink my gin and tonic fast enough.

Mom gazes at me a moment longer. "Okay – we'll say no more about it. I wanted to let you know."

She's incredible. Two months without a peep. Now she's the poster of maternalistic affection. Only she can achieve such a feat. Most sadly of all I admire her for it. How does she do it? Genius.

She's distracting me now, pointing across the room. Incredibly obvious. "Nora Saynt," she begins, "there's a boy checking you out at the bar. He's been staring over here for the last five minutes."

Oh no! Oh no! Not Gabriel. Not now! Not when I'm inebriated. I need my senses to handle introducing my boyfriend to my mother. Dread filling my entire being, I turn around. It's not Gabriel. Not now.

It's Wolf.

## Chapter Eleven

I'm gaping. I can't help it. Where the hell has he been all this time?

"I'm guessing from your expression you know him," Mom muses, sipping her Coke.

Well isn't she intuitive.

I nod once, my eyes fixed on a black pair across the room. Wolf doesn't wave. Doesn't make any gesture of recognition. His expression is impermeable.

"Excuse me," I say to Mom. Getting up, I put my gin and tonic down. I need to figure out what's going on. So I cross the room at what I hope is a moderate pace. Reaching the bar, I take a seat beside him. He's silent, waiting for me to speak. "Where have you been?" I ask. "I've missed you in class."

A russet brow furrows. "Just in class?"

"No!" I say too quickly. "In life, too – Wolf, I... where did you go?"

I'm confused by everything. Where _did_ he go? I've hardly seen him in a month. He's come to only one class since the forest. That time he seemed flustered and distant. Not at all his usual, happy self.

"I've been in the forest," Wolf says, the movement of maroon lips sweeping me away.

Oh geez, he's so cute! I almost forgot how I used to fantasize about... I mean, of course I would never do anything! I have a boyfriend for crying out loud. I'm not the kind of girl who can do both.

"You know," Wolf continues, bringing me back to the present, "looking around. Trying to figure things out."

"English 301," I begin. "What about it? Have you dropped out?"

"Had to," he remarks, "I've missed too many classes."

"But why, Wolf? Why did you have to drop out? You were only taking _one_ class! You must know how much I look forward to seeing you." _Oh fuck!_ I'm going to steal myself. "English 301 used to be my favorite class," I tell him quickly, before I can stop myself, "for no other reason than you."

Wolf blushes, the color filling russet cheeks. "That's kind of you to say. But I had to drop the class. I've had too much on my mind to do schoolwork. Even for one class," he finishes guiltily.

What the fuck?

What's been on his mind? When did Wolf become a puzzle? That's what I like about him. He's so simple. So pure. So easy to read. Especially compared to my wizard. Now Wolf's a puzzle. A gorgeous puzzle, but a puzzle all the same. I scour for the right frame for my next question.

The alcohol is helping. "I don't understand, Wolf," I say to him, "what can possibly be on your mind so much you need to drop out of school? It seems like an extreme response to what I'm sure is a simple problem." Am I calling him daft? I hope not. Maybe the alcohol isn't helping, actually.

"You don't want to know," he warns. "A Sprite," he tells the inquiring bartender.

"Nothing, thanks. No, Wolf – I _do_ want to know. If something is bothering you it's bothering me! We're friends. I mean, we are – aren't we?" Never would have said that without a drink.

"Yup," Wolfgang responds, "that's part of the problem."

I'm bewildered. "What? I don't understand."

"You don't see it yet?"

_Shitballs._ Now he's calling _me_ daft. I deserve it. This is what two gin and tonics will do to me. "No, I don't! Tell me, Wolf! I'm not going to feel right till I know. Because your problems are mine."

He sips his drink, looking sideways at me. "You will regret saying that."

"I won't!" I exclaim flatly. "Tell me already! What's been on your mind?"

Wolf averts black eyes. "You."

I'm staring at his averted face, blushing like crazy.

Oh geez, I should have guessed, should have seen it coming.

Maybe I _did_ see it coming. Subconsciously. And my consciousness would not let it be heard. Ugh! I'm so stupid! Was I born this way or has it grown worse over time? I can't begin to know.

"Wolf, I – I'm sorry."

"For what?" He resumes eye contact. "For what, Nora?"

Geez, is he getting mad at me? I can't imagine this boy mad at me. Not like Gabriel. "For everything, I guess," I tell him.

"Everything?" Wolf repeats. "Does _everything_ include leading me on from day one? Does _everything_ include my telling you I like you? Does _everything_ include you accepting I like you? Does _everything_ include the fact you're dating a loser wizard instead of me! Is that everything, Nora?"

Oh geez. "He's not a loser," I say automatically.

_Not the time_ , _Nora_ , my alter ego says. _Not the time_.

Wolf is staring me down like a dog, his russet skin flaming. "Don't you understand? It was never just you! You weren't the only person who only came to English 301 to see somebody. It was me, too! I _like_ you, Nora! Always have. You never seem to grasp that, even when I say it to your face!"

Not to interrupt his diatribe, but I totally still go to English 301. Despite Wolf's absence. I'm not made of cash. I can't go dropping classes left and right simply because Cutey Maroon Lips is skipping.

I'm trying to keep my thoughts in order. "So – so you dropped the class because you think I'm taken? Because you think I already have a boyfriend? Because you think I'm _not_ interested in you?"

Wolf's growing redder. "When you put it like that," he begins, "it sounds pathetic. But yeah, basically. Why?" he shoots back at me, his russet skin alive with color. "Are you saying you're not dating the wizard? Are you saying you don't have a boyfriend? Are you saying you _do_ like me?"

I think hard. "No. No. Yes."

"This is what I'm talking about!" Wolf exclaims in exasperation. "From the way you phrased all that it sounds like you _don't_ have a boyfriend! You do! It's that stupid, idiotic wizard!"

"Sorry," I say, sheepish. Geez, I am a sheep today. First letting Mom lead me around and now Wolf. I don't have the wherewithal about me to play their games. It's the alcohol that did me in. "I – I didn't mean to lead you astray these last couple months," I inform him. "I've been confused, too."

Wolf's black eyes are wide. "Nothing on me," he says. "One question. Did you start dating the wizard before or after I told you how much I hate wizards? How they're all prickly, arrogant, stuck up assholes?"

I think back. "We were fraternizing," I answer. "Not serious yet."

I nearly said 'we hadn't consummated our relationship.' But it occurred to me that saying this to Wolf isn't the brightest idea. I'm also realizing this is the first time I'm seeing him as a woman. Mom too. My virgin, girl days are behind me now. Thank heavens. Talk about a late bloomer.

"Wait," says the werewolf. He closes his eyes and opens them. "You said 'No. No. Yes.' So – so you _do_ like me. You do!" His whole being lights up before me, russet and red and luminous and bright.

"Of course I do, Wolf!"

He beams at me, blinding me with the charm of his crooked smile. Geez, he's stunning. I almost forgot. Silly me again. This boy is pretty when he wants to be – when he's smiling and himself and not downcast and sullen. Though technically I suppose I made him that way. Shame on me!

Wolf's grin falters. "Another question."

"Yes?" I say sweetly.

"Will you consider leaving him for me?" Now his cheeks are flushing of all color, making him the whitest I've seen him. He appears sickly. "I don't want you to cheat or anything," he explains. "I don't believe in that. But – come on – he's a wizard! A mean one, too, from what I witnessed."

_Fucking shitballs!_ I have to break his heart.

"I – I love him, Wolf," I say glumly, trying to look as miserable as possible. "I can't help it. I love him. I do."

My werewolf friend looks as though I've punched him in the face. A long pause. "You can't," he says finally. "You _can't_ love him, Nora! You saw what he's like in the forest. _I_ saw what he's like in the forest. That's not the kind of being who _can_ love. He's cold, calculating, incapable of it!"

"You don't know Gabriel," I remind him. "You just hate wizards!"

But some of what he's saying is getting through. Now Kiri _and_ Wolf don't like Gabriel. Wolf is biased. Obviously. What about Kiri? Is she biased, too? Maybe she likes my wizard. Somehow, though, I seriously doubt it. All I need now is for Mom to run into Gabriel and call him dangerous.

"Listen to me," Wolf says flatly, leaning forward over the bar, his black eyes refusing to leave mine. "He will _never_ see you as his equal. Because he doesn't! You heard him in the forest. What did he call us there? 'Sub Purids.' We're sub Purids, you and me, Nora. We always will be. Wizards have always been racist assholes. It's in their nature, and it's going to make love between you and him impossible in the long run. It may work for a time. But it won't last."

I can't breathe! Grabbing my throat with my hand, I gesture madly.

"Water!" Wolf exclaims, springing into action. "Water! Hurry!"

A moment later I'm gulping it down. It's cool and refreshing to my body. My mind is aflame with the worry of his words. 'It may work for a time. But it won't last.' Why am I so fucked over this? Wolfgang can't tell the future. He's a werewolf, not a soothsayer. Geez, what's wrong with me?

"Are you okay?"

I nod as I drink, sloshing some on my front. _Fuck!_

"Sorry to put it harshly," Wolf says, "but there's the truth of it. Break it off now before he breaks your heart. Come to me – I will be good to you. _I_ will see you as my equal. You know why? Because you are my equal, Nora. You always have been and always will be. Gabriel is _our_ equal. But he'd never accept such a low position."

I chuckle despite myself. I'm so messed up! I wonder why...

_Because_ , my alter ego says, _you believe what Wolf told you. That it won't last..._

_Shut the fuck up!_ I scream at her.

Wolf is staring at me. Color is returning to his face, restoring the beauty of those smooth, russet cheeks. "So what do you say? Will you leave him and be mine? I can love you. I – I _do_ love you."

A squeak escapes me. "Oh, Wolf! I love you, too!" I throw myself into his arms, hugging him tightly. He smells fantastic – like citrus and leather. I resist the impulse to kiss him. I still have a boyfriend...

We break apart.

"I'm so happy!" Wolf is beaming his crooked smile.

I shake my head, forestalling him. "I need time, Wolf," I tell him. "I need some time to think about what you've said. I can't break things off right away with Gabriel. You can give me time, can't you?"

Black eyes are wide. "Of course!" I'm getting the sense he's simply glad to have a foot in. Other body parts can follow later.

"Gabriel and I are still planning to go to the vampire lair in the forest. Soon, too. Want to come?"

"I'll be there," he tells me. "I'll transform and everything to protect you from the vampires _and_ the wizards."

I grin at this slight. "Bad dog!"

"You have no idea..."

Mom appears at my side. She looks frazzled. "I guess you were going to leave me back there with my Diet Coke for company," she says to me. Before I can respond she extends her hand to Wolf, smiling warmly at him. "Cindy Saynt," she says formally. "Glad to make your acquaintance."

"Wolfgang Ronfaro," he says, shaking her hand.

"Mom, this is my friend Wolf. Wolf, this is my mom. We were having a drink when we saw you at the bar."

Mom gazes at me pointedly. "You mean _you_ were having a drink. I was having a Diet Coke." She thinks... To my dismay, she takes the stool next to mine so I'm sandwiched between them. Between Mom and Wolf. Wolf's the rock. Mom's the hard place. Most unfortunate.

Two can play at her game. "Still hungry?" I ask.

"Not in the least," she says, not missing a beat. "I'm on my second wind, my little saint! When you're so hungry you're not," she explains to Wolf.

He seems to have no idea what she's talking about.

"I'd better run," Wolf says, dropping a bill on the bar and getting up. "Lots of schoolwork I don't have to do!" He hugs me, whispering in my ear, "Think about what I've said. I'm ready when you are."

Offering me his best crooked grin, Wolf's out the door and up the street. Already far away. I wonder when I will see him again. Soon, I hope. And I don't. The sooner I see him the sooner I have to figure out this mess with Gabriel. With the one who will never accept me as his equal – or will he?

Mom is gazing wistfully at the door Wolfgang left out of. "Handsome boy," she says. "When did you start dating him?"

Alone with her again, I search for my gin and tonic. _Fuck!_ I left it back at the table. "We aren't dating," I answer dismissively. "We're friends. That's all." I have trouble believing my own words.

"Sweetie," she says in that mothering way where the tone descends. Fuck I hate that. "I saw everything! I was watching the whole time. I may not have heard anything from across the room, but I saw his body language toward you. I saw you two hugging. He definitely likes you, Nora Saynt."

"I know he does. That's obvious!"

"Relax, honey," Mom tells me. "I'm just saying what I saw." Yeah, right. She's rarely _just_ doing anything. "The question is," she begins again delicately, "do you like him? Because if you do you should get him while you can. And if you don't, please leave him alone. It won't end well."

She would know!

Despite my fresh pangs of irritation, Mom has a point. This is what I'm doing wrong. Not being decisive. I can either date Gabriel or Wolf. Can't live with neither and according to them can't live with both.

"Yes," I say to her, "I do like him. A lot."

She smiles, patting her hair as she gazes at the ceiling. "Well, then make him yours before it's too late. Because 'too late' is coming. Perhaps sooner, perhaps later. But it's coming, Nora Saynt."

I ponder this.

"Come on," Mom says, "let's go."

Getting up, we leave The Mousetrap and find the car a block up the street. Mom takes me back to Evergreen State College, pulling around till she's at the top of the horseshoe road adjoining Red Square.

I have half a mind to leave the car without giving her a goodbye hug. I think better of it. Instead, I embrace her as my mother. Not a perfect mother. Not a great mother. Not even a good mother. Simply _my_ mother. Because that's who she is.

"Bye, Mom," I tell her, "thanks for visiting. Thanks for the iPad! I've been getting lots of use out of it!"

She smiles fondly. "Look at you, Nora Saynt. You're practically glowing! You really do like that boy, don't you?"

I nod, smiling back. At last we're having a happy exchange! Best to quit while ahead. So I get out of the car. "Love you, Mom," I say, despite a roaring inside me not to. "Have a good rest of semester. And easy on the Chanel!" Without waiting for a response, I turn on my heel and begin walking across Red Square.

I don't look back.

* * *

I open the door to find Kiri not looking pleased. She's sitting Indian style on her bed, her laptop on her knees, her hair bobbed. From behind horn-rimmed glasses her eyes lock on me as I walk in the room.

_Oh shit._ I don't need more conflict.

"Hi," Kiri says, and instantly I sense it in her tone. A tenseness. A straining to keep calm. I must have pissed her off. What on earth have I done now? "Haven't seen you all day," Kiri remarks.

"You won't believe the day I've had!" I exhale, weighting my voice with exhaustion. Maybe if she sees I've had enough she'll lay off. "Nearly died of boredom in two classes and then guess who shows up. My Mom! Right?" I follow up Kiri's restrained burst of surprise. "So I take her to The Mousetrap and try and get her drunk. It didn't work. Least I got a drink! Lord knows –!"

"Nora," Kiri interrupts. "Why did you have sex on my bed?"

_Oh fucking shitballs!_ I forgot all about that. Geez, I'm not having a good day. Didn't I tell her that? I thought she would get the message. "Oh, that," I begin lamely, "I'm not sure what you –"

"There's blood all over my comforter," Kiri informs me. "You didn't tell me you're a virgin. Or _were_ a virgin. Either _that_ happened or an axe murderer came in here, demanded you get on my bed, and slew you there. But then where's the body? And how come you're still living in it?"

_Won't be for long!_ my alter ego says happily.

_Die, evildoer!_ I retort.

Geez, Kiri's mouth gets small when she's mad.

"Sorry," I tell her. "I – I was going to replace it, Kiri, honest. I forgot – my bad. I'll buy you another."

Kiri puts her laptop aside and stands up, gesturing to the comforter. "What a mess," she says. It is. It's worse than I remember. Spots everywhere. "But it's not about the comforter. It's about something deeper. It's about disrespecting me _and_ my space. This is _my_ bed, Nora! Why would you have sex in it?"

I shop around for a second before deciding on the truth. "Kiri, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disrespect you. That's kind of where we ended up. It wasn't personal or in spite or anything. I promise." Or was it? I remember differently, but now isn't the opportune moment for facts to kick in.

Kiri sighs and looks down at her bed. "Buy me a new one and you're forgiven. You're still the best roommate I've had."

"I'm the only roommate you've had," I remind her, smiling despite myself. It helps that Kiri is far more reasonable than Mom. Like, far more. "So where did you get your comforter? I'll get it this weekend."

"Online," she answers. "Kind of hard to find. Why don't I buy another and you pay me back. Okay?"

"Buy two," I tell her, smoothing down bloody folds. "I like this. It was – _is_! It _is_ comfy," I follow up quickly.

How is it I always manage to put my already overlarge foot into my even bigger mouth?

Going to the mini fridge, Kiri gets out a bottle of sparkling wine. She finds two flute glasses. She's popped the cork and is filling the glasses before I have time to protest. Not that I would have. Are you kidding? I take a flute glass and sit down on my bloodless bed. Kiri sits on her wasted comforter.

"So," she begins, sipping her sparkling wine, "you had sex with _him_."

It isn't a question. "Yes," I reply. "You knew it would happen, Kiri!"

"Yeah," Kiri says, "I did, but I didn't think you'd do it on my –" A pause. She waves a hand to abort the thought and takes another, long sip of wine. "Never mind," she says at last. "How was it?"

Closing my eyes, I sip the sparkling liquid. His kiss tastes so much better than this. "Amazing," I tell her. "Fantastic. Wonderful. He is perfect, Kiri! My wizard," I say without thinking, fluttering lashes.

Kiri giggles. "Your wizard! That's a good one. Was it magical?"

_Oh shitballs_. Can't go there. "Of course! _He_ is magical."

Kiri narrows her eyes. "Did it hurt?"

I shake my head, drinking more wine. "No! Not at all. Well, a little. Here and there," I amend. "Barely! Funny, I've always heard it hurts the first time. For girls – not for guys. Fucking jerks."

Kiri looks astonished.

Oh no – what now? I can't simultaneously imbibe alcohol and take criticism from everybody. First Mom. Then Wolf. Now Kiri. I need my wits about me to manage the perpetual onslaught.

"It _does_ hurt the first time," Kiri says to me, "almost without fail. You obviously popped your cherry," she adds, gesturing to the blood all over her comforter. "I can't see how it didn't hurt!"

"I –"

It dawns on me.

Oh fucking no!

But the answer appears to be _oh fucking yes_. Gabriel put a spell on me before we had sex. If only I can remember what it is! I can't. Not now. I wonder... Could it have removed virgin pain?

The thought of him doing this spills fury in my veins. I don't know why. Yes I do! Because that pain was _mine_ to experience! Mine to live! I wanted to have sex for the first time like humans are supposed to! With pleasure _and_ pain! It was all pleasure. No pain. Gabriel has robbed me of my first time!

"Is something wrong?" Kiri asks, snapping me back into reality. "You look really mad about something."

I slurp down my wine. "It's nothing!"

I'm so mad! How dare Gabriel relieve me of pain! I can't believe him! He takes and takes and takes! Everything! Until it's gone! I wanted to scream in agony my first time. Wanted to _have_ a first time. It's every girl's right! Not according to Gabriel. He doesn't believe in Immag rights!

Kiri is eyeing me warily. "We're friends, right?"

This wakes me up. I nod, cocking my head to one side. "Why do you ask?" Do I want to know?

"My opinion matters to you?" Kiri follows up.

_Fucking fuck!_ I hate where this is going.

"Yes."

Kiri takes another sip of wine. She allows these facts to sit in the air a moment. Undisturbed. "That being the case, I'm going to be blunt with you. I want you to stop seeing Gabriel."

"You –"

She holds up a hand. "I understand," she says, enunciating clearly. "Believe me, Nora – I do. He's fucking gorgeous. I have eyes. Among other things, but I also have a head. I sense he's dangerous for you, although I can't say how or why. It's a feeling, and I think it's meaningful."

"I love him," I say. "I love him, Kiri. I can't not see him."

Kiri isn't breaking eye contact. When she does, she sighs. She must have seen the truth therein, that I do love him. "I get it," she remarks. "I do. Believe me, he's the prettiest thing _I've_ seen. But let's get real – he's not going to hang out forever. He doesn't even go to school here! You're dating a townie, Nora. Ew!"

"First of all," I begin, " _not_ a townie. Second of all, I _love_ him! That's all I need to say! Case closed! Done deal! Some other similar expression! I don't have to explain myself beyond that point."

"Nora!" Kiri erupts. " _Please_ end it with him. Love is... fickle. That's being complimentary. You had fun – you had sex with him. You lost your virginity to a super model! Lord knows I didn't. I congratulate and applaud you. But it's over. Done. Don't fall in the love trap with _him_."

"So I'm allowed to fall in love with somebody," I say aloud, trying to follow her logic, "but not _him_. Not Gabriel White?"

Kiri refills our glasses with the remainder in the bottle. "Correct!"

"Thanks for letting me know your grand duchess-ness!" I trumpet loudly. Geez, too much alcohol. "Are there more royal decrees I should bring forth from the castle and write on tablets by the river?"

Kiri hastily takes a mouthful from my flute glass before returning it. "How much did you drink at The Mousetrap?"

"Two gin and tonics."

"Lightweight!" Kiri guffaws. "Pace yourself! You're new at this."

Rolling my eyes, I swig down more wine. "I'm not leaving him," I tell her. "Never ever. I love him, Kiri. I've never loved anybody – not like this. I have to try and make it work." Kiri opens her mouth to speak, but I plow on before she can. "If it fails it fails! But making it fail to make sure it doesn't fail is insanity!"

She opens her mouth, then closes and opens it again. "You've heard my opinion," she states, "it hasn't changed. But it's starting to sound like you seriously aren't going to leave him. So if letting you know what I think is the best I can do now, it's enough. You know what I think, don't you?"

I reply, "You hate his guts!"

"No!" Kiri exclaims. "I don't hate his guts. I love yours. I want you to be safe!"

Setting aside my glass, I stand up and hug her. "You're a great roommate," I say, embracing her strongly, "and a better friend. Thank you!"

Hugging me back, Kiri giggles. "Thank _you_ for being a great friend and roommate. I should get you drunk more often. This is fun!"

I feel it coming.

Lurching from her arms I double up over my trashcan. I throw up magnificently into it. What the fuck? I cough horrendously. More comes, spewing from my mouth. This is awful. Terrible. Oh geez!

"Wait here!" Kiri tells me. She runs out the door. I know she's going to the bathroom to get paper towels. In a moment she's back and mopping my face with a wet one, her expression pained. "Oh, Nora," she says sadly, "I guess there has to be a first time! Oh no!" I'm hurling again. "Easy does it!"

Grabbing a paper towel, I wipe my face. Gross! "What's happening?"

"You've had too much to drink is what's happening," Kiri informs me. "What did you have at The Mousetrap again?"

Coughing, I say, "Gin and tonic!"

"You've been mixing," Kiri says, "no wonder you're sick! Here, let me get you a glass of water."

I shake my head, confused. "I don't understand!" I expel. "I _never_ vomit. Even when I'm really, _really_ sick. My reflexes are so poor for it, Mom said I would probably never vomit. I don't understand!"

Kiri goes to the bathroom with my flute glass. When she returns, it's brimming with fresh, crystal clear water. "Drink," Kiri says, handing it to me. "It will refresh your stomach. It's empty. Too acidic."

Drinking the water down, I feel better. Except for a moment when I think I'm going to throw up again. It passes. I drink more water, finishing the flute. I definitely feel better now. Burping, I make Kiri giggle.

"There's an art to drinking," Kiri begins. "It's important to learn –"

I'm running to the bathroom. Oh no!

Fuck! Fuck!

Stay inside me for another second! The next moment I'm over the toilet and spewing majestically into it, coughing midway and everything. The works. Geez, this sucks! I feel completely horrible.

Following me gingerly, Kiri hands me a paper towel. I wipe my mouth. A moment later she's back from the sink with the flute glass refilled. I wave it away this time. Best to learn from my mistakes.

"I never throw up!" I exclaim. "Never, Kiri! I _didn't_ feel sick. This is coming totally out of left field. It's so strange!"

Kiri grabs my arm.

"Ow!" I yowl. "What – what is it?" Turning around, I look into her unflinching, deadly serious gaze.

It dawns on me.

_Holy bejesus shitballs_! No way! I don't believe it.

"I'm not pregnant!"

"We can't know!" Kiri exclaims. "You could be!"

I shake my head, refusing to allow it. "Not possible."

Grabbing my hand, Kiri drags me back into our room. She forces me to sit down and then proceeds to force paper towels and water on me. I take them so she will shut up. She doesn't, of course.

"Before you kill the idea," she begins, sitting down opposite me, "answer a few questions for me."

"I –"

"Humor me!" she yells.

"Okay!" I gasp.

Geez, what a tyrant!

She takes a deep breath. "Did you use a condom?"

Fucking shitballs!

"No," I answer. Kiri gasps. "But –"

"Yes?" Kiri pushes. "Please tell me good news!"

I wipe my mouth with a paper towel. "There isn't any, Kiri. We didn't use a condom." Well, what the hell am I supposed to say? He's a wizard and he charmed my cunt? Give me a fucking break.

Kiri sighs heavily. She's looking at me as though I'm a dying patient in a hospital ward. "Strike two," she says. "The problem is –"

"Wait! You can't skip to strike two!"

Leaning back in her chair, she crosses her arms. "Having sex is strike one," she says. "So yes I can. One more question. Have you missed your period this month? You _have_ to tell me, Nora!"

Geez, what a personal question.

At least I can answer it honestly unlike the condom question. "I don't know," I tell her. "It's not my time for another ten days."

Kiri swipes her bobbed hair to the side. "I guess we can't know till then, unless you want to take a pregnancy test."

"No thanks," I tell her, "I'm too embarrassed to go out and buy one." Leaning over, I take Kiri's wine flute from the windowsill. There's still some left, so I drink it. "Could you?" I ask her.

"I'm not going to buy you a pregnancy test," Kiri says to me. "In the meantime, Nora – when we don't know whether you're pregnant or not – you should probably abstain from alcoholic drinks!"

Spluttering on my wine, I put it down. "Right!"

"Do you feel pregnant?" Kiri asks, looking me up and down.

"Feel pregnant?" I guffaw. "What does that feel like?"

Kiri shrugs. "I don't know, but do you _feel_ pregnant?"

No. I can't be pregnant. Not me. Not Nora Saynt-Rae. Pregnant at eighteen? Never! It could never happen. Not with any boy. Sighing my relief, I lift wine to my lips. Hastily put it down again.

The truth is we _didn't_ use a condom. I'm sure spells in the magical world sometimes go amiss. Geez, what a hard question. Do I feel pregnant? Hum – no condom, true. No period yet, true. Do I _feel_ pregnant? The revelation hits me like a tidal wave. What was it Mom said? That I – I'm _glowing_...

I jump to my feet. "Oh my god!" I scream. "I'm pregnant!"

I'm out the door, running down the stairs fast as I can.

"Nora!" Kiri yells, darting after me. "Come back!"

I'm long gone. Out of dorm building C and running in the direction of Red Square.

Holy fucking shitballs!

I'm pregnant!

* * *

Evening is falling into night. I'm chasing lit lampposts to the center of campus. My feet thrum on the pavement, rhythmic with my panting. They are nowhere near fast enough to distract my thoughts.

I'm pregnant! How did this happen? To me of all people! My parents are going to be so angry. Well, Dad will be furious. Mom will have a field day. She'll be able to tell me off for life. Her dream come true. They can never find out – never ever. How on earth am I going to deal with this?

_Calm down_ , my alter ego tells me. _People have babies every day!_

_Not helping!_ I exclaim.

I arrive at Red Square, panting and grasping a stitch in my side. Geez, this must be the fastest I ever got here. There's no time for sightseeing. I'm looking for someone. Someone I want to kill!

"Gabriel!" I scream to the open square. "Gabriel! Show yourself!" The square is nearly deserted now most classes are adjourned, but a girl exiting the Daniel J. Evans library stares at me as she emerges. "What are you looking at?" I yell at her. She promptly runs away. "Gabriel!" I shout again, louder this time. "You're in trouble! I know you can hear me! I know you're somewhere! Gabriel!"

I stop shouting long enough to gasp the evening air. Nothing. Nobody responds. _Fuck!_ Leave it to a wizard to impregnate you and then disappear. It doesn't help he can literally disappear into thin air. It's all too easy for him. I hardly blame him for taking the opportunity. Wait – yes I do!

"Gabriel!" I scream. "Gabriel!" I've gone crazy. So young, too. "You better –!"

A pop sounds. "Yes?"

I whirl around. "Gabriel!"

He's here before me, gorgeous as ever. Dressed in resplendent jade robes today, Gabriel spreads his arms wide and bows deeply. "Gabriel Edward Lucius White at your service. How may I assist you?"

"You!" I storm, "are in trouble!"

Righting himself, Gabriel swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "So I've heard," he says, his expression impermeable. "What have I done to make your life anything but the best it's ever been? I under –"

"Gabriel!" I interrupt. "I'm pregnant!"

Pause.

I'm trying to discern the expression on his face. This semi light isn't helping. I wish Red Square was better lit. Do I want to know?

"No," Gabriel says at last, "you're not."

We stare at each other, each with our own thoughts. Denial – really? So predictable. That's textbook. There are like twelve steps of acceptance or something. Trouble is I forget what the second one is. Oh well.

I'm attempting to stare him down. It's hard in the dark. "Yes, I am."

"How do you know?" His tone is doubtful.

"Because," I answer, stalling, "I feel it!"

Gabriel shakes his head. I see that much through the impending night. "You can't _feel_ pregnant, Nora. Not this early." Geez, I hate it when he's condescending! He sighs resignedly. " _How_ do you feel pregnant?"

"I've been throwing up like crazy," I tell him. "And I – like – _never_ throw up."

He considers this. Then rejects it. "You're not pregnant."

"How do _you_ know?" I say angrily. Fucking know it all. " _You_ can't know what's happening inside my body, Gabriel! You have no idea! Are you not ready to be a father – is that it? Is it cowardice on your part?" Okay – perhaps I shouldn't have gone there. But I did. Too late. Too bad.

"Nora!" Gabriel's loud, overriding me. "First of all, I actually _do_ know what's happening inside your body. Second of all, _because_ I know what's happening inside your body, I know you're _not_ pregnant. Nora, we've been through this. I'm not a mediocre wizard! I'm not an average wizard! I'm a –"

"I know, I know!" I'm rolling my eyes. "You're the crème de la crème!"

"Releasers need top marks," Gabriel explains. "Think doctors or lawyers for Immags. You're not pregnant. How do I know? Because _I_ did the magic to ensure you wouldn't be pregnant. Being a brilliant wizard, I didn't fuck it up!"

Arrogant bastard.

"For the record," Gabriel continues, "I'm comfortable with the idea of being a father. I'd make a great parent. Why? Because I have great parents. Sometimes that's all it takes. I would, Nora – I would be a fantastic dad! You, on the other hand – you with all your craziness – are the question mark!"

So I won't be a mom. Not yet. That's too bad, because I'd love the opportunity to show my mom how to be a mom. It wouldn't include tearfully dropping my daughter off at school then ignoring her for two months.

"Light, Gabriel," I demand. "Give me light!"

Gathering his wand, he says, "Lumio!"

We're blinded by a bright light. Gabriel proceeds to dim it so it's manageable. Shielding my eyes, I glimpse his face. A blaze of blond hair and turquoise eyes stun me. How come I'm always shocked by his beauty? It's almost like I forget. Right now his expression is surprising me more.

It's forlorn.

"Sorry," Gabriel says, "didn't mean that. But you're not pregnant. The spells I put on both of us made sure it couldn't happen. You think I'm so careless with your feelings that I'd screw it up?"

I shake my head, eyes wide. "Of course not! I thought – you know – when you're hot, things happen. Like distractions. Gabriel, I never doubted you. As a wizard, at least," I add without thinking.

Turquoise eyes harden. "How about as _other_ things?"

Oh shit!

"Oh," I begin, "I – I don't understand." Best to play stupid.

Luckily, Gabriel is distracted. "The turtleneck!" he observes, expression lightening. "You're wearing it! Comfortable?"

Looking down, I take in the gray fabric. "Very comfortable!" I say happily. "People are always asking me if I'm cold and they think I'm lying when I say no. I'm not – the joke's on them! I'm comfy!"

Gabriel nods approvingly, the turquoise of his eyes looking me up and down. "I want you to be comfortable, Nora, or else I will fail in my duty to protect you from the pain of an Immag life!"

He means this as a joke. I'm not laughing. Because I've remembered something and it's rising in me like a storm. "Gabriel!" I shout at him. "You cursed my pain away when we were having sex!"

I don't care if people hear me. It doesn't matter. What matters is how Gabriel will react to my indictment. Will he deny it? In which case we'll have serious issues. Or will he fess up? In which case we'll have serious issues.

Hands on my hips. "You did, didn't you?"

"Yes, but I only –"

"How could you!" I exclaim, interrupting. "Do you realize what you've done? You've stolen my first time! I can never be a virgin again! Now – thanks to you – I didn't get to experience my first time, either!"

"Nora, I don't –"

"Understand?" I finish for him. "Of course you don't! Because you're a guy. All you care about is yourself! How dare you take away my pain, Gabriel! How dare you assume I'd rather not feel than feel pain! It's better to feel pain than nothing at all, Gabriel! You gave me nothing at all!"

Oh geez, here they come. The tears. Not tons but a few – I've never been much of a crier. This is hitting me hard. I can't explain it. Wiping my tears, I sniff the cool evening air. Why are my feelings such a mystery to me all the time? I rarely feel in control of myself these days.

Gabriel is swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead in agitation. "I – I'm sorry," he says falteringly. "You _have_ to understand, Nora – I was trying to alleviate your pain. That's what the Alleviate spell does. It makes your nerves register pleasure – _only_ pleasure. I had no idea you wanted pain!"

I'm wiping my tears with the sleeve of my turtleneck. "Well, now you do." Recovered and dry, I look up at him. He's watching me warily, as though frightened I will begin crying again. I won't. I've had my fill. Or spill, I should say. "I'm not inferior to you, Gabriel," I say to him.

Turquoise eyes widen in surprise. "What?"

"You heard me. I'm _not_ inferior to you because I'm an Immag. We're both equals – not one better than the other."

Gabriel's eyes are fixed on the light emanating from the end of his wand. "But you _are_ inferior," he begins, "because –"

"Don't want to hear it!" I shout at him, fury pumping through my veins. "I don't want to hear it, Gabriel! You're such a fucking bigot all the time! I'm sick of it! You know what? Wolf is right about you. You think you're better than everybody because you have a magic stick! Well let me tell you something Gabriel White. There's a lot more magic in this world than can come out of a wand!"

Turning on my heel, I walk away from him. Forever.

I can't be with somebody who doesn't respect me. I can't be with somebody who doesn't understand the basics of equality. Why, you ask? Because I'm a self-respecting woman who believes in herself. That's why.

I am no less than he.

"Wait!" Gabriel cries, running to catch up. "Wait, Nora! Wait!"

I turn to face panicking pupils. "Accept me as your equal," I demand of him before he has the chance to say a word. "Do it now and I will forgive you. Otherwise, I'm leaving you for someone else."

"Not that dog!"

I yell, "Do it! Accept me as your equal!"

Gabriel takes a long, deep breath. "I accept you as my equal," he says.

We stare at each other for a moment, neither of us breaking eye contact. Something's not right. He said it too quickly. Or did he say it not quickly enough? No – he said it too quickly. I am right the first time. I don't think he's had time to consider what he's saying. It came out in emergency mode.

"Say it again," I order.

Gabriel says, "I accept you as my equal, Nora Saynt-Rae."

"Do you believe what you're saying?" I ask him calmly. "Or are you lying so you can keep fucking me?"

Marble skin turns whiter in the glow of his wand. "Neither, to be honest," he answers. "I'm lying so I can keep loving you. Nora, it's hard – I've been told my whole life I'm superior to Immags. I don't even know how not to believe it," he explains, his expression gloomy. Defeated. Depressed.

My heart is going out to him. I can't deny it. Why am I so weak? Or is this strength? Perhaps strength is what it takes to forgive somebody like Gabriel. Kiri's words float to me on the evening air.

"Well, then," I begin, "I guess I've heard your opinion. It hasn't changed, but if letting you know what _I_ think is the best I can do right now, it's enough. You do know what I think, don't you?"

"You think we're equals."

"I _know_ we're equals," I correct. "I'm going to give you some time to realize that. Since you're finding it hard. I expect you to come around to the idea eventually. Can you promise me you will?"

"I promise I'll try," he says.

I blink back my dissonance. "That will have to do," I reply.

Silence between us. Can things be the same? I am glad I said all that. I need respect like everybody else to thrive. How long will this cold last between us? The chill is surpassing my charmed turtleneck.

"I have a surprise for you. I've been putting it together for a few days. Planned to show you tomorrow. Why wait?" At once he's smiling at me, the warmth returning to turquoise eyes. Here's the Gabriel I love!

"A surprise?" I gasp. "I love surprises!"

Coming closer, Gabriel wraps his arms around me and hugs me to him. The world darkens as his wand falls behind my back. But soon I'm distracted. Gabriel is kissing me like heaven. Soaking me in honey. I'm lost to him so quickly I hardly notice my involuntary surrender. Astonishing.

Breaking from me, turquoise eyes find mine. "Of course you do," he says. "This way." He's guiding me forward, his hand still wrapped around my back. "You'll love this," he reassures as we walk. "This took some imagination. Lucky for you I'm not defaulting there. You wait!"

"I can't!" I say happily.

Geez, what a turn around.

Moments ago I threatened to leave him. Now I'm giddy for whatever he has planned. Do I need help or something? No – I'm sure I don't. This has been an exhausting day. Troubles with Mom. Troubles with Wolf. Troubles with Kiri. Now troubles with Gabriel. Well, until now, anyway.

Night has been our host for a while. My wizard leads the way with his wand, its light shining forward without fail. Leaving Red Square, we flank the Daniel J. Evans library and hug the tree line. We're heading northwest. Oh geez, I think I know where we're headed. I want to make sure.

"Do you know where you're taking me?" I ask Gabriel.

He swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "Of course!"

"Where?"

Turning around, his jade robes glowing in the illumination of his wand, Gabriel grins. "Can't tell you that, Nora – can I? Then it won't be a surprise! Walk tight and follow me. You'll see soon enough!"

"Well, don't get us lost," I huff. "Do you have a compass in case? I know you don't have a phone..." Okay – I admit it – it's fun doubting him aloud. The slightest of vendettas, if you will.

"Naturally," Gabriel answers, surprising me. Reaching into the pocket of his jade robes, he brings forth a package. I catch it. "Brand new Vampass," he says, eyes glinting in the light. "Finally badgered them enough about my broken one, I suppose. Latest model. I can't wait to open it!"

Judging from the package, it's the same size as the old model. "Can I open it?"

"Perhaps," Gabriel replies, holding out his hand for it. "Let's not get distracted by vampire-finding gadgets. I've worked too hard for what's ahead. I promise you it's worth it. You'll see. And love it!"

Returning his new Vampass, I slip my hands in the pockets of my jeans. "I'll take your word for it."

By now we've left the tree line and are in the forest, snaking our way deeper into the woodlands. The path beneath us is shallow and overgrown, but at least it's visible. It carries our steps forward.

I'm too aware of every twig that breaks and every bush that moves. I've learned to not feel safe in the forest. I _am_ with my wizard. That counts. Still, if the vampires ambush us... No, Nora – don't have those thoughts! You must keep your wits about you. Not to mention your head.

"Are the woods safe at night?" I ask.

_Scared of the dark?_ asks my alter ego. _Grow up, shit face!_

_Shut up!_ I shout at her.

"With me you are," Gabriel answers. "I don't think we'll run into vampires, Nora. They are west of here a-ways. And if they did come, they wouldn't stand a chance," he adds slyly. "Let them try!"

Following him, I make sure to avoid protruding roots and fallen branches. "You really hate them, don't you? Vampires."

Wand light illuminates the deadly seriousness of turquoise eyes. "Yes. I hate them beyond imagination. Vampires are not fit to walk our world. They must be destroyed! All of them. The men. The women. The –"

"Children," I interrupt, finishing for him. "I know, I know – you've told me before. I wish you'd tell me _why_ you hate them so much. Once – not long ago – you said you'd tell me someday. Is it someday yet?"

"I can tell you now," he responds. "I hate them because they are the most parasitical and abominable species ever to walk this earth. They must die. All of them. Every man. Every woman. Every child."

"Can't you hear yourself?" My tone is harsh. "It's like the words are programmed into you. What are you? A robot? A machine? A _killing_ machine? Consider the morality of what you do!"

Gabriel doesn't miss a beat. "The BOM – the Bureau of Magic – has hired me as a Releaser. It's my job to kill vampires. It's my career. It's what I do. It's what I'm _trained_ to do. My job isn't to 'consider morality.' Nor to question it. But I have done so, landing on the same conclusion."

"Which is?" I push.

"That my crusade is just!"

"How can you say that? How is murder just?"

"I seem to recall," Gabriel begins, his voice menacing, "the last time we were in the forest. Not only were you almost raped and murdered by a vampire, you were almost raped and murdered by two! The Nora _I_ remember then was ready to help me slay the Newborn – was ready to assist in the execution of number thirteen. The one too many. The one that crossed the line. Where has _she_ gone?"

I cross my arms. "I don't know. I've had a change of heart."

"Do you still want to help find the Newborn?"

I nod hastily. "I do. Wolf is coming, by the way. Like we agreed on. It's not only for my safety," I say loudly, before he can interrupt, "but for yours, too! Three is safer than two. So there!"

Gabriel is angry. "I will not allow –!"

"Aaaahh!" I scream. For I've promptly tripped over a root and fallen to the ground. "Holy hell!" I'm clutching my foot.

Gabriel bends down. "Are you alright? Did you hurt anything?"

"My ego," I answer. "Help me up!"

He lends a hand. Brushing leaves and dirt from my clothes, I get up. But not before hearing a familiar sound in the distance. This is where I hoped we'd be! Yay! We're here! "Is that what I think it is?" I ask excitedly.

Gabriel doesn't answer. Instead, he points his wand at me. "Amendi!" The dirt and leaves vanish off my clothes as they resettle on me, warm. "There," he says, satisfied. "Yes – that is what you think it is."

Whooping, I run forward. I'm where I want to be! For the sound I hear is water – rushing, gushing water. It laps against sandy shores. Before I know it the trees are thinning and I arrive at the beach in Eld Inlet.

I see nothing unusual. What the fuck? Where's my surprise?

My wizard brings up the rear. "Wait!" he exhales. "You aren't supposed to get here first!" He doesn't look that worried. Gabriel never does. Passing me on the beach, he waves his wand high. "Evanese!"

Eyes are alive with wonder. Eyes belonging to me.

On the beach is a stunningly ornate, white four-poster bed. Its legs disappear into the sand as the water laps nearby. It's surrounded in a ten foot radius by tiny red candles. There must be thousands of them. The only opening is directly in front of us. A two foot wide path leading to bed.

Leaping into Gabriel's arms, I exclaim, "Thank you! Thank you! It's fantastic!"

He chuckles. "It's nothing," he says. "Don't worry – soon _I_ will be thanking you. Lumio!" The light at the end of his wand goes out.

Leaving thousands of little red candles to light our way to bed.

## Chapter Twelve

"Bloomio rosa," says Gabriel, pointing his wand at his hand. A single, long-stemmed red rose appears there. He hands it to me. "This night belongs to you. I hope you will share it with me."

A deep blush spreads across my cheeks as I take the rose. What am I supposed to do with this? Oh – right! I sniff it. "Beautiful," I sigh, closing my eyes. "It's beautiful, Gabriel. Thank you so much!"

Turquoise eyes are revealed in the light of thousands of candles. "You are the rose, Nora," he tells me, "it is _you_ who is beautiful. You must lead me to bed. This flower, after all, is yours."

I blush further. Oh geez, can he see in the candlelight? Probably. Oh well. This is by far the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me. I'm so affected I'm speechless – I can't speak. Can't say a word.

Instead, I wrap my arm around his waist and kiss him. This is grace. I know it now. When our passion is so strong our faces melt into each other. When I can't tell anymore where I end and he begins. When we're one person, not two. When I realize all I need in this world is him. _My_ wizard.

Words fail me. Because Gabriel is all I ever wanted. His physical beauty is only a perk. The real beauty of him is innate – inside him – where it lives and struggles against the demons of his upbringing.

He believes I'm inferior because I'm an Immag, but it's only because of his Puridite schooling. I believe – truly believe – he can change. That the beliefs of the Puridite Movement can and will fall away from him.

The bliss of a long kiss ends. I'm left staring into candlelit eyes, glazed over and glassed. They close gently, his face wreathed in pleasure. Geez, I didn't realize I could have this much of an effect on him.

_He's imagining someone hotter_ , remarks my alter ego.

_Fuck off_ , I demand. _I mean it!_

Gabriel purses his lips and licks them.

I can't help it. "How do I taste?" I ask. "Good, I hope?"

He nods, eyes still closed. "Excellent, Nora. When I kiss you I taste – taste... strawberries. It's weird."

"Weird good?" I'm desperate. Please say yes!

Finally, he opens his eyes, dazzling me in turquoise. "Weird as in fantastically good," he reassures. "But I still prefer the taste of chai latte," he muses aloud, his eyes sinking down my body. Oh geez!

Lifting the rose to his nose, I ask, "How's this?"

His brow furrows in thought. "Acceptable," he surmises after a moment, "for a rose, anyway. It's a rose, Nora – not Russian spiced tea. We have to work with what we're given. Don't you agree?"

I grin, saying, "Oh yes. I quite agree."

With that, I lead him to bed.

With a rose in one hand, Gabriel in the other – and the whole time surrounded by thousands of tiny red candles on the sand – I walk to the white bed. With only candles to guide our steps, we move through them.

Avoiding catching fire.

From here the expansiveness of Eld Inlet dawns. The candlelight is enough to illuminate the outlines of trees in the distance as they wind their way around the inlet on both sides. More than anything it's the sound of water lapping against the shore that I love. It's fantastically calming – like a blanket falling over me again and again. The night above smiles down on us like heaven's blessing.

No sooner do we reach the bed than Gabriel takes me in his arms and kisses me. Oh the pleasure! Oh the fire in my mouth devouring him! A consciousness can only take so much. Gabriel is trying to push me to the limit. I'm going to let him try, for I am totally and completely carnivorous.

Gabriel is grasping me around the waist and lifting me to bed. To be treated like a princess! I get it now. Get why girls everywhere are fascinated by the idea. To be on a pedestal and treated like royalty. Or to be on a white bed above the waves surrounded by candles and treated like royalty.

He's upon me. Ripping clothes from my body. My gray turtleneck comes flying over my head. I'm freezing, already missing my magical turtleneck. Next my jeans, leaving me nearly naked. Just my bra and panties now.

Gabriel stops here. But only with me. Shrugging out of his jade robes, he promptly throws them over the headboard. He tosses me his wand, which I narrowly manage to catch before it goes flying to the flames. He slips off his T-shirt, then his jeans. Then his boxers.

He's naked!

In a second he's under the sheets with all but his torso covered. Grinning at me. Geez, what a tease! I don't blame him for wanting to be covered – it's freezing! Throwing the covers over me I join him underneath. Soon as I'm comfortable he grabs me around the middle with his strong arms.

His mouth is on me. Kissing me. Sucking me. Devouring me whole. It's wondrous! Unbelievable. Best of all it's happening to _me_. His tongue twists and cavorts in my mouth, winding my body and soothing my soul at the same time. I can't believe I get to do this. Can't believe I get to do _him_!

Sometimes I think I'm dreaming. That I will wake up in the Silverado on the way to Olympia, Washington to move in. That I will never meet Gabriel. Or believe in magic. Or have a mother who ignores me. Or a body that denies food for two months. Sometimes I think none of its real.

Now – as I lay on a white bed surrounded by candles with the inlet surrounding us and Gabriel making love to me – is one of those times. It's too good to be real. Too fantastic for truth. There isn't enough room for this in the practical world. This is the stuff of imagination. Of dreams. Or is it?

I break off our kiss. "Gabriel!"

He's panting, turquoise eyes wide, his blond hair a lovely mess. "Yeah?"

"You saved my life!" I gasp. "You saved it here – on this beach!" I'm almost crying. I don't understand it. Can't understand it. I'm so overwhelmed by everything happening to me. "I – I don't think I ever said thank you," I say to him, a lone tear escaping down my face. "Thank you!"

I hear the waves that nearly took my life lapping against the beach.

Gabriel doesn't answer me. Instead, he reaches behind my back with one hand and snaps my bra apart. With the other, he pulls my panties down my legs, throwing them over the side of the bed.

I'm naked. Prostrate before him. His for the taking. For the having. For the devouring. Geez, I'm so ready for him... So, _so_ wet down there. Unimaginably. Soaked. My tears cannot keep up.

Rolling on top, he's kissing me madly – furiously – filling every crevice of my being ever left abandoned. I can't begin to understand my feelings. But as the pleasure soaks me, I begin to understand something.

Gabriel is _my_ wizard. He always will be. _Always_ – until we're both dead and buried. Kiri, Wolf, and Mom can all go suck it along with everyone else in my life, because Gabriel is the one who matters. We are meant for each other. I understand it now. That this world is built for us.

Marble thighs embrace me as he makes love to me. Hands groping all over, from behind my back and neck to over my front and – best of all – breasts. I'm on fire! Burning for him, my wizard, my one and only! Flames are upon me, embracing my consciousness like a long lost relative. To be on fire for Gabriel is to be on fire for life. To know what it means to be alive. So completely amazing!

I have no idea. Not yet.

Releasing my mouth, Gabriel sinks lower on the cool, white sheets.

Trees wave in the distance. The candles are burning steady while the moon is barely visible behind faraway clouds. Closing my eyes, I listen to waves as they lap against the shore. _This_ is living. This is what it's about. I know now.

Then he licks my pussy.

Oh heavenly life inside my body. Inside my heart. Inside my soul and bearing. How you surprise me evermore. I gasp the night air. The shock of this spasmodic pleasure drowns me, but it's not taking my life this time. No. It's freeing me! Reviving me! Bringing me back! Wondrous unknown. Give yourself to me!

Raising his head from between my legs, Gabriel smacks his lips. "Tasty!"

"What does it taste like?" I gasp, blushing hot red. "Chai latte?"

Swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead, he beams at me. "With a touch of nutmeg," he adds thoughtfully.

"I –!" I never get to finish.

For Gabriel is upon me again. Making love to my pussy. And I'm writhing in pleasure on white sheets. Surrounded by candles beneath an evanescent moon. With the sound of waves in my ears. The pleasure is so intense I'm shuddering against the bed and gasping the cool, ocean air.

This is too much. Too much pleasure for one body. It takes all my effort to stop from crying out. I keep it inside while Gabriel's tongue is there. Licking, eating, and – most of all – _pleasuring_. This is pleasure beyond any I've known. So intense I have to move. I can't remain still or flames will engulf me.

Twisting to the side, the feeling of his tongue on me, I glimpse something on the ground. My panties burned to a crisp. Falling on a candle, they were leveled in the heat of the flames. I can understand. I know how my panties must have felt. For _I_ am burning with sensuous, massaging pleasure. With every whip of his tongue I'm set aflame again. I can't believe I've ever been cold.

This is writhing fire. Eating me. Consuming me. I've never felt so alive!

My wizard comes into view again. He licks his lips luxuriously. "Delicious," he pants. His face is hot and sweaty. His blond hair a gorgeous, tousled mess. Turquoise eyes burning. Alive with desire. Pouncing forward, he flips me onto my side. He's making love to me – to my mouth this time.

I kiss passionately, feeling my body shuddering against him. The sizzling sensation of his tongue against my pussy is still reverberating in my body, making me pulse and quake with aftershocks. I can't help it. I'm at the mercy of his every flick. Blushing furiously all the while. I can't believe he licked me there!

Wait – I can, actually. I _can_ taste it in his mouth. I don't distinguish it, but I know he tastes different than before. It's not a pleasant change, and it does _not_ taste like chai latte with nutmeg. How does he taste that? Geez, I hope he's not lying for my benefit! I'm flushing crazily at the thought. Who knows? Maybe it tastes good to him. Maybe things taste different to boys than girls.

As our kiss goes on, the strange taste disintegrates so I'm left with what I love. The taste of magic. The taste of sugar and cinnamon. The taste of Gabriel. Never fails to satisfy. The marble of his skin is soaking into me, the turquoise of his eyes glassy and desperate. He's never wanted me more.

Eyes aren't the lone signal.

I feel him against my left thigh. Massive and unrestrained. Oh geez, I'm going to have to deal with that. It's no wonder girls are easier to ignore when aroused. Girls aren't this obvious! Or maybe it's because I'm a girl... In any case, I reach down and grasp him firmly in my hand.

Turquoise eyes widen as a gasp escapes him. He didn't expect me to be so forceful. Smiling sweetly at him, I massage his tip with my thumb. "Your turn," I say.

And I'm on him, licking away.

He's so, _so_ full in my mouth. Stretching me apart. I don't remember him being this aroused last time. Could have noticed that much from his eyes. But there's no denying it – out of the two times I've made love to his cock, this is by far the harder one. This is going to take a while.

I lick his shaft up and down and down and up. I swirl my tongue around his tip, catching any and all escaping residue. Gabriel exhales with a sigh and groans with pleasure as he relaxes into the pillows. It's his turn to enjoy the candles and the waves, and mine to give my tongue some exercise.

As I lather him, I ponder a philosophical question.

Can you _make love_ to a penis? Can you use those words? I always thought you _made love_ to something soft, like lips for instance. Or my pussy. A dick is always hard and unwavering. There's extremely little graceful about it. Can you _make love_ to something like it? Hard to say. In any case, he who gives shall receive. Gabriel gave to me beyond the limits of my imagination.

So – remembering to breathe – I drench his tip in my tongue. Licking him again and again and again, I swirl around and around and around. I pump his shaft while sucking. If Gabriel's groans are any indication, he's feeling good.

Waves are lapping against the shore. The moon is still hiding and the trees have grown quiet now the wind has settled. Candles are at last burning low, their time nearly upon us. I don't need them, because the fire is inside me. Burning! Roaring!

Swiping my hair over my ear, I close my eyes and sink my mouth to his cock again. I never make it that far. His hand has intercepted my chin and is turning my face up to his. Turquoise eyes are burning with a soft glaze. A sensuously wanting expression on his face. He's been lathered in pleasure. Wants more.

"You're welcome," he breathes.

I stare in utter disbelief. Is he serious right now? Is he actually saying 'you're welcome' after I make love to his penis for fifteen minutes? Better be sure before I fly off the handle. "For what?" I gasp, still panting.

"For saving your life."

"Oh!" I exclaim. "I –"

Gabriel flips me onto my stomach. My sentence is lost forever. I look back. He's there – his blond hair a mess above wild eyes. His marble skin glistening with sweat. I haven't time to take in more, for Gabriel has pulled my legs out from under me so I collapse on my stomach. Oh geez!

He has me. I'm his for the taking. Will he take me? Oh yes he will!

Seizing my legs in his strong hands, Gabriel forces them apart. It's there. Between them. His rock hard penis. I close my eyes, dreading and wanting the moment at the same time. Am I always so unreasonable? The moment when I think my wizard is going to plunge his wand into me passes.

Surprised, I gaze backward. "If you don't want pain," Gabriel begins, his eyes glassy, "I can take it away. Tell me what to do."

Our eyes lock, my breath catching in my throat. "Fuck me," I say.

He does.

Plunging inside me with his throbbing massiveness, Gabriel groans as I yell in pain. This does hurt! Gabriel doesn't stop. He plunges into me again and again, his gasps of pleasure punctuated intermittently with my gasps of pain. But I notice it's getting better. I'm adjusting to the feeling of him. To the sheer size of him.

He's thrusting into me wildly, the speed of his thrusts increasing. It's feeling better and better! The pain subsiding, the pleasure rising. It's coming fast and heavy, a bursting sensation inside me. I yell out loud to the stars. Except this time it's a cry of incredible, relinquished pleasure. I'm reborn!

Pain is gone. Consumed by pleasure. It's as though Gabriel flipped a switch. I'm shuddering against the bed, grasping the pillows madly and soaking them in my sweat. I'm burning down! Burning on this beach like the light of so many candles. I'm on fire and unable to stop it now.

My very blood is aflame.

I feel it in my veins. Feel it crawling up and down my arms and legs, licking, feeling, consuming. Devouring everything I have to give. Everything I ever had to give. I can't take it! I can't take it! I'm his now and evermore!

Gabriel thrusts into me harder and faster, his gasps becoming rhythmic with my own. I feel his sweaty thighs against mine. Feel his soul connecting. The sensation is so unbelievably magical it's as though I'm watching from the stars above. Far off in the night sky, gazing down and gasping.

It's coming, like a faraway song to bring the end of my ways. For no consciousness can absorb this much pleasure in one night and live to tell the tale. I realize I've given my life to Gabriel. That I will die attached to him – that he alone will live on. Because I've had my fill of life now. I'm spent.

"Fuck!" Gabriel roars. "Nora, get my wand! We forgot –!"

It hits me.

We never did the birth control spell!

"No!" I scream.

I shatter around him into a thousand pieces, my flames bursting into embers and falling to the ground. Gabriel comes at the same moment, keeling forward and gasping the night air dry. Oh no! Oh no!

Lunging for his jade robes on the headboard, Gabriel grabs his wand out of his pocket. "Inpregnatio!" he yells, pointing his wand at me. This spell is visible. A blue wall of air seems to engulf me for a second, expanding over my body. Then it's gone in the wind, swept off to the distant trees.

I'm staring at Gabriel in horror. "Did it work?" He's silent, staring back. "Did it work?" I shout at him.

Turquoise eyes are wide. Scared. "I think so," he says quietly.

"You think so? What the hell does that mean?"

Dropping his wand to the bed, Gabriel falls back on the sheets and covers his eyes. "It means I don't know, Nora," he sighs, his exhaustion evident. "I don't know! You're supposed to do the spell before orgasm. Sometimes it works afterwards. There's no way of knowing, not yet."

I can't contain myself. "That's not good enough!"

"It has to be!" Gabriel shoots back angrily. "Look at yourself, Nora! Have some fucking self awareness! I saw it on your face earlier. You were upset you weren't pregnant! Maybe you are now! Be happy or sad – choose one or the other. Stop confusing me with both all the time!"

A loathing tirade rises in me. For once, I let it die. Instead, I collapse on the sheets beside my wizard. I notice there's no blood on the sheets this time. There's an improvement. I'll take what I can get right now.

Fucking shitballs!

I can't believe myself. I spent part of today desperately worried I'm pregnant. No sooner is my pregnancy fear discarded than I get pregnant! I almost had the perfect ending to a miserable day. Now it's all miserable.

We don't talk for several moments. Gabriel looks over at me, his head sliding on his pillow. I look at him, our eyes meeting. The glassy sheen has evaporated from turquoise eyes. Gabriel bursts out laughing.

"What?" I ask, annoyed. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing!" Gabriel says, his laughter dancing across the waves and into the distance. "Nothing at all. I swear!"

"You're a liar," I say, smiling despite myself. Why is laughter so contagious? I decide to be proactive. Allowing my hand to slide under the sheets, I find what I'm looking for. "Tell me or I'll squeeze your balls!"

This gets his attention. He remarks, "You're amazing."

"How so?"

"The pregnancy thing," Gabriel says, sighing. "One minute yes. The next minute no. Then maybe. It's funny, Nora – you have to admit. It's my fault, too – I had sex with you right afterward. We must be crazy!"

"We must be," I agree. "I suppose it's kind of funny..." A giggle escapes me, then another. Next thing I know we're laughing to the stars, unable to control ourselves. Geez, I can only imagine my mom's expression if she was here. Thank heaven and sky she's not! Small mercies. Well, not so small.

Gabriel gathers me into his strong arms. He closes his eyes with a sigh of contentment. "I like the feeling of you holding my balls," he tells me, grinning with closed eyes. "Makes me feel... at your mercy – heh – imagine it, Nora. Usually it's you at my mercy! But my wand is across the bed and you've got me. I surrender," he says, turquoise eyes opening as he grins at me, boyish.

I give him the gentlest of squeezes. "I'll be nice if you will!"

Gabriel is gazing up at the stars. "I love you," he tells me. "I will always love you as long as I live. Maybe, just maybe – once we've rid the Olympic Peninsula of vampires – we can settle down together."

I gasp the night air, unable to believe it. My happiness is complete. Releasing his testicles, I hug his body and plant a kiss on his warm cheek. "I would love that," I say to him. "And I love you, too, Gabriel. Who knows? Think about it... If I _am_ pregnant, we've got a family. Imagine it!"

Turquoise eyes are wide. They narrow. "First I have a job to do," he reiterates. "I'm for settling down, Nora. I'm for being a husband and a dad. But only after my job is done – only after I've completed my assignment. I absolutely _must_ kill the Newborn, Nora. You understand, don't you?"

I kiss him on the lips. "Not really. But I'll try to."

"If that's the best you can do," he begins, "I suppose it has to be good enough for now. So open my new Vampass!"

"Yay!" I exclaim. "I love new products!"

He says, "It's in the pocket of my robes."

Going to the headboard, I find the cardboard package. _Mr._ _Gabriel White_ , it says across the front. _Evergreen State College. 2700 Evergreen Parkway, NW, Olympia, Washington. 98505_. Bouncing across the bed, I hand him the package.

He's confused. "I said _you_ open it."

"Oh!" I say, "right!"

"We can test it out," Gabriel murmurs beside me as I tear into it. "See if there are any vampires nearby!"

I'm nearly through the package when the night explodes in darkness. Gasping in fright, I fall back on the bed with a thud. The package goes flying from my hands on impact. Oh no! Come back!

"Gabriel! What's happened?"

I hear chuckles beside me. "Nothing to worry about. Here," he says, searching for his wand. "Lumio!"

The scene is lit.

I'm stunned by the beauty of it. All around us, thousands of smoke wreaths are rising into the air. They rise higher and higher and disappear into the night. The moon is hiding behind clouds, leaving Gabriel's wand our only light. The smell of smoke fills the air around us. I find myself loving it.

"Magnificent!" Gabriel is surveying the night.

I nod dumbly, shock seizing my muscles.

Gabriel asks, "Where's my Vampass?"

Oh fuck!

I gaze around hurriedly for it. It's nowhere in sight. "Gabriel – I! It was in my hands a second ago! I must have dropped it. It's somewhere on the beach. I'm so sorry! I don't know where it is!"

My wizard is searching for it, too. "No trouble," he says calmly. "Now the candles are burned out we don't have to worry about it being destroyed." We both spot the Vampass at exactly the same moment. "Actually," Gabriel amends, "I think we _do_ have to worry about it being destroyed."

The package is lying about ten yards away. A shiny, compass-look-alike instrument is protruding from its wrappings. The waves – most unfortunately – are lapping over both. Geez, that didn't last long.

"Water destroys them," Gabriel confirms. "Not a chance – it's gone. Took months of badgering to get it, and I had good reason to get this one. They'll laugh in my face if I ask again. No replacement this time."

Sighing, I kiss his cheek. "Sorry," I tell him, "my bad."

_You're such a fuck up!_ my alter ego exclaims. _Now look what you've done!_

_Lay off_ , I tell her. _I feel bad enough already!_

"Don't worry about it," Gabriel tells me. "It _would_ have been useful for chasing the Newborn. But I've still got Merrifeather, haven't I? And you," he adds affectionately, kissing me back.

Massaging the marble of his chest, I find myself daring to bring up a topic I shouldn't. Locking onto turquoise eyes, I take a deep breath. "Listen, Gabriel," I say quietly, allowing my fingers to run up and down his chest. "I want an answer to a question you've been avoiding. Will you share it with me?"

Turquoise eyes are wary. "What's the question?"

"I want to know why you hate vampires so much."

"I've told you!" he exclaims, "Because they're the most parasitical and –"

"Abominable species to ever walk this earth!" I interrupt, finishing for him. "I know all that. Now what's the real reason? There has to be more to it – something you're not telling me. I've tried to ask in the past and you dodged it, saying you'd tell me later. Well, it's later! I want to know. Now!"

Gabriel swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead in agitation. Sighing, he leans back against his pillow. "You _seriously_ want to know?"

"Yes, Gabriel." I'm leaning forward now. I thought he'd refuse me, so this is a pleasant surprise. "I've wanted to know since the first time we came to Eld Inlet. Months ago, Gabriel! Please tell me!"

He rolls on his back to stare at the stars, all the brighter now for the vanquished candles. "Lumio," Gabriel says, and his wand goes out. Now we're in total darkness, for the moon remains hidden. "I _will_ tell you. Not the whole story, because the whole story is too painful. Some of it I can manage."

I nod silently. I'm terrified he's going to freak out and not tell me, so I'm taking what I can get. One seventeenth of the story would be more than he's told me so far. Some of it will suffice for now.

"A long way back," Gabriel says, his eyes gazing heavenward, "a vampire took something dear to me. The dearest thing in my life, actually. Snatched away. Carelessly. Completely. Without warning. I was a child when it happened. As an adult I still can't wrap my head around it..."

I'm staring at him as he determinably stares upward. The stars smile down as waves lap against the shore nearby. The surrounding trees are hidden in darkness now. Like Gabriel's unseen demons.

"What did the vampire take from you?" My voice is a horrified whisper. "Tell me, Gabriel." Even as I speak, I know he won't. I feel the truth in the tense, knotted, naked chest under my touch.

He won't tell me. Not yet.

Gabriel turns on his side. I sense his eyes upon me even as no light is shared between us. "I'm ready, Nora," he tells me. His voice sounds excited now, as though the last few seconds never happened.

As though I never asked.

So I ask, "Ready for what?"

"To go into the forest," Gabriel breathes, "to return to the vampire lair!"

A jolt of anticipation. Finally! I've been waiting a month for this! "What's changed?" I ask him, bewildered. "You said you still needed to figure stuff out. You said you couldn't find the Newborn."

The moon comes out of hiding, splashing the bed and the nearby shore with light. Turquoise eyes are illuminated. "I think I've found him!"

"Really!" I gasp. "Who is it?" I'm massaging him as I speak. His body has relaxed, his tenseness gone. Now it's electricity I feel between my touch and his skin. Electricity brought by fiery excitement.

"This vampire named Jack," Gabriel answers. "You've never met him, but he seems a likely candidate."

"I did meet him!" I correct. "He's the vampire Wolf saved me from! When are we going?"

"Tomorrow?"

I think for a moment. "I have –" But I stop myself. I picture Dr. Tuten boring me away with no Wolf around to cheer me up. I picture Dr. Blakely trying so hard to no avail, for he simply can't get his students interested in American history. "I'm free," I amend, grinning. "Let's go tomorrow!"

"Excellent!" My wizard is beaming.

"Wolf _is_ coming," I add menacingly, "or else!" My hand finds his balls under the sheets. They're warm and ripe for squeezing. "You may be too busy recuperating to come," I finish, glaring daggers at him.

Luckily he's not holding his wand. Instead, Gabriel holds up his hands in surrender. "Fine – you win! The dog can come, you nutcase!"

I have ulterior motives for bringing Wolf. His presence will make Gabriel jealous, and jealousy will bring the wizard around on the issue of wizard and Immag equality. All I have to do is make him a little jealous... Hold on, who am I reminding myself of?

The revelation hits.

Holy bejesus fuck!

I'm my mother!

"It will all be decided tomorrow," Gabriel murmurs, massaging my breasts. "If we get the Newborn, our life together can begin. I will love you forever and ever till the end of time because you are mine. We _will_ live happily – child or no child." He kisses me, thrilling me with bliss. "How does that sound, Nora White?"

* * *

I'm in my bathroom. The water is running and my contacts are lying on the sink in their containers, filled to the brim with solution. I'm staring at myself in the mirror. At a girl who has become a woman in such a short space of time. It's almost hard to fathom. But I'm here. I've made it this far.

Today will decide everything.

It's Tuesday morning. I'm supposed to be in English 301: The Art of the Essay, later. I won't be there. I'm also supposed to be in History 145: The American Revolution, after that. I won't be attending that class, either. Why? Because I will be busy hunting vampires with Gabriel and Wolf. That's why.

I gaze into the mirror – into my curiously bright eyes.

Am I pregnant? I don't know. I could take a pregnancy test, but taking a pregnancy test implies I may do away with the child. Why else would I need to know so quickly? Besides, I don't think I could do that – have an abortion. Not when the child was conceived passionately. With somebody I love.

One thing I do know. I cannot have my thoughts everywhere today. They need to be together and concentrated. Today could determine the rest of my life. Either we find and kill the Newborn or we don't. If we do, Gabriel and I can begin our life together. Otherwise we go on hold. Indefinitely.

I don't want to wait. I want to start now. Child or no child. I'm more drawn to Gabriel than I can possibly relate. I'm more drawn to magic than I can possibly relate. I love the idea – the inkling, if you will – that maybe, just maybe, I can someday learn it. Attend Magasant School of Magic.

Become a witch.

The notion brings shudders of delight to my thin frame. My freshly washed form in the mirror, I realize it's true. I _have_ lost weight.

My hair is wet and over my shoulder. Not cool. I see it looking soppy even through my blurred vision. So I take my hair dryer to it for a good fifteen minutes. I hum as I do this, always pleased to engage in one of my favorite tasks. When finished, I replace my contacts carefully. Diligently.

Dressing in jeans and my gray turtleneck, I watch Kiri as she writes notes across a music sheet. I'm filled with sudden affection for her as I watch. She is such a great roommate, such a great friend. We've had our differences and arguments – mostly about Gabriel – but I realize now she is simply looking out for me. It seems insane I ever suspected her of wanting him for herself.

"I'm going," I tell her. "See you tonight." I hope...

Horn-rimmed glasses look up from the music sheet. "Class?"

"Yes," I lie through my teeth.

Going to my chest of draws, I soak myself in perfume. The deluge makes Kiri close her eyes. She's never complained about this habit of mine and she totally could have. Yet here I am lying to her face.

"Your class doesn't start for an hour and a half," Kiri remarks, peeking at her clock. "Why are you going so early?"

_Shitballs!_ Nearly got away with it.

"Oh," I say, stalling for time, "I – I want to stop in the union for a moment. See if they have a book." I'm such a bad liar.

Kiri swipes her bobbed hair to the side. "What book?"

_Fuck!_ What is this? A witch hunt?

I'm panicking. " _The Shipping News_ ," I invent madly.

"I have that!" Kiri exclaims. Getting up from her bed, she goes to the row of books above her desk. "By E. Annie Proulx." Popping it from the shelf, she hands it me. "Remember at the beginning of semester when I said you can borrow my books? I meant that," she clarifies, grinning at me.

Geez, I'm going to be late if I don't hurry!

"Thanks so much, Kiri," I tell her. Without even thinking I go and hug her warmly. "You're so great!"

She's startled when I release her. "It's nothing!" she says. "Really!"

"Bye, then!" I say loudly. Tossing the book to my bed, I dash out the door and down the staircase. I'm hoping it will take her a moment to recover from the force of my hug. No such luck for me.

"Nora!" Kiri yells from behind. "You forgot your backpack!"

I'm gone. Down the stairs two at a time and out of dorm building C. Geez, she nearly caught me there. Nearly scuffled my escape plan. In any case, I have other worries. Far deadlier worries...

* * *

Our meeting place is Red Square. I'm hurrying. I'm worried Wolf and Gabriel are already there. I hoped to get there first, thereby mediating potential conflicts. With any luck the vampires will prove enemy enough and the werewolf and wizard will be forced to make peace. I'm not counting on it.

I notice the sky is cloudy. True, clouds are the sky's default guests in this part of the country, but despite this it's even cloudier than usual. Geez, I hope it doesn't rain. That's all we need today.

Going from the east side of campus to the west, I keep an eye out for them. I hope Wolf has the wisdom to be a boy instead of a dog. Some things may seem like common sense, but with guys you never know.

Oh geez! Gabriel better not tell Wolf about our plans to live together!

Spurred by horror of this idea, I break into a run.

The clock tower of the Daniel J. Evans library is drawing closer. Which means so is Red Square. Soon as the square comes into view I see him. Gabriel. He can't be missed. Not in flowing ivory robes, not with a wand dangling from his hand and an owl resting on his outstretched arm. Geez, can't he be a _little_ covert? Next to him is Wolf, his arms crossed and his expression a scowl.

"You're here!" I gasp, skidding to a halt in front of them.

They are pleased to see me.

"Why, hello," Gabriel says. He puts his arm around my waist and kisses me sweetly on the lips. No serious PDA, but enough to claim his property. The idea makes me furious, but not as furious as Wolf, whose crossed arms tighten as he watches. "Glad you made it safe and sound," adds my wizard.

Freed of him, I give Wolf a hug. He's so surprised by my sudden movement he doesn't unfold his arms in time. He maneuvers them around me and hugs me back, his warm voice a tickling massage. "You're too good to me," he says. "Did you – uh – have time to consider what we discussed?"

"Not really. Sorry."

"What's this?" Gabriel asks, staring from Wolf to me.

Ignoring Gabriel, I go to his arm instead. Petting Merri gingerly, I stare into enormous amber eyes. I can't help but smile as my eyes reflect turquoise. "See what I'm wearing?" I ask the wizard.

Gabriel nods approvingly, taking in my gray turtleneck. "Getting use out of it, I see. That wears down the charm faster, you know. But it's not a problem. I can always fix it, Nora. I can fix anything," he adds menacingly, his wand aloft, and his eyes never leaving Wolf. "Anything at all!"

Oh geez, this is going to be a long day. I resume petting Merrifeather's white plumage, my thoughts adrift.

"That owl nearly pecked me to death," Wolf says from behind me. "She found me in the forest while hunting with my pack and practically rode me out of there. I've never heard the pack laugh so hard!"

Gabriel strokes his owl. "You're tenacious. Aren't you? Aren't you?" His tone adores as he speaks to Merri, but changes drastically when he addresses Wolf. "I apologize if you sustained injuries from Merrifeather," he says, "but we had no other way of finding you on such short notice."

Wolf's voice is a growl. "Are you calling me thin skinned?"

"Thin _furred_ , if you will," Gabriel corrects, staring into the werewolf's black eyes. "You're wearing more fur than skin these days, dog! It's no matter. I'm glad to see you know your place!"

"You –!" Wolf barks.

I'm louder as I interrupt. "Stop fighting, please! We have a vampire to find and kill! Please shelve it, you too. For now at least," I add strategically. "I simply want to do this and go home. No fuss!"

To my surprise they fall silent. Opportunity in hand, I go to Wolfgang. Taking his arms, I spread them wide. I see cuts and talon marks up and down his bare, muscular arms. "Gabriel!" I exclaim. "Look! Look what Merri's done to poor Wolf! Bad owl! Bad owl!" I tell huge amber eyes. "Wolf is our friend!"

"Just a friend?" Wolf asks.

Gabriel murmurs to Merri, "Wouldn't go that far."

"Gabriel!" I demand. "Heal these at once!"

Holding up his hands, Wolf back away. "No way, Nora! I'm not having his evil magic on me! It's nothing – I'm fine!"

Grabbing his arm, I rub a deep cut with my thumb. He winces. "These hurt!" I inform the wizard. "Now, I don't know if you told Merrifeather to attack him or not – that's neither here nor there. But you _will_ heal these, Gabriel. I mean it! Or you'll be sorry!" I'm staring furiously into his eyes.

Gabriel swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "Alright – I'll do it! Get over here, dog!" he orders the werewolf.

"I don't want your wicked –!" Wolf begins, but with an almighty heave I shove him to Gabriel, interrupting his protest.

"We know," I say to the werewolf. "Magic is evil and so are wizards. We get it, but _get_ healed so we can get out of here! You – Gabriel – stop calling him dog! For fuck sake, we're all equals here!"

Wolf is watching the wizard doubtfully as Gabriel draws back the long sleeves of ivory robes. "You're wasting your time, Nora," the werewolf tells me, staring into Gabriel's face. "He _doesn't_ believe we're all equals. He never will," he adds, falling silent as the wand is drawn down his arms.

"Alleviate," murmurs the wizard. He goes to the other arm, murmuring, "Alleviate," again. I watch, fascinated, as the deep cuts disappear from Wolf's forearms, leaving their russet skin mint. Exhaling with satisfaction, Gabriel pockets his wand. "Save your criticism for another wizard," he tells Wolf. "I just healed a werewolf. _Most_ of my kind let alone the Puridites would consider it beneath their dignity. Believe it or not, I'm ahead of my time, Wolf. Not behind it."

It's the first time I've heard Gabriel call Wolf by his name. To my deep surprise, Wolf looks abashed. "Uh – thanks," he says, black eyes widening as he observes freshly healed arms. "That seems to have – um – worked."

"Let's go," Gabriel says, shouldering Merri, "we've wasted too much time here."

Following his lead, Wolf and I trail the wizard as he leads us northward. Gabriel has become our leader without so much as a vote count. Dictator.

Skirting the Daniel J. Evans library, we make for the tree fringe. Eventually we turn westward. I know where we're heading because I've been this way before. We walk along the tree fringe for some time. I realize we must make a strange procession. A blond haired boy in ivory robes with an owl on his shoulder followed by a brown haired girl and russet skinned boy. Walking single file by the trees.

We turn into them and disappear into the forest, spreading out amid the loam. Merrifeather hoots gently from Gabriel's shoulder. Is she warning him? Gabriel alone can interpret her signals.

Wolf is the first to speak. "You're going the wrong way," he tells the wizard.

"What do you mean?" Gabriel asks as two pairs of eyes turn to stare at the werewolf. "I've been to their hideout before. I _know_ how to get there," he adds dissonantly. "Have _you_ been there?"

Maroon lips tighten. "Of course I have! I'm a werewolf, Gabriel. I'm sworn to protect humans from vampires! You think I don't know where their primary residence is on the Olympic Peninsula?"

This isn't going to end well, despite the fact they were doing _so_ well... oh well. "Hold up," I intervene, stopping between them. "Gabriel – you first. Where do you think the vampire hideout is?"

Geez, it's like moderating children.

Turquoise eyes never leave the werewolf as he answers. "Northwest a touch then north. So we're going the right way!"

Forestalling him, I ask, "Wolf, which way should we go?"

"Due north," Wolf answers. "There's no 'northwest a touch.' We have to keep heading north or we'll pass it!"

Gabriel shakes his head, turquoise eyes glinting menacingly. "Nora, don't listen to him. _I_ know where I'm going. I've been there more recently so let's go my way!" Merri offers a hoot of agreement.

Wolf narrows black eyes. "I was there just –" He stops short, staring at Gabriel.

What the fuck? I look, too. Gabriel's right hand is lazily grasping the wand in his pocket, turquoise eyes locked on the werewolf. "We're going my way," he says with such finality there's no doubting it. "If you desire to continue this discussion, my wand has something to say about it."

"Have it your way!" Wolf barks across at him. "But realize there's no achievement in having a weapon like that. It's not part of you – not made of you! It's a tool for evil, and you're too fit for it!"

I slap my palm to my face. Ouch! Didn't mean to do it so hard. But the gesture fulfills its purpose – they're distracted. "We're getting nowhere! Literally! So please stop fighting! Let's get this over with!"

"Here, here," Wolf growls, glaring daggers at the wizard.

As we journey forward, silence resumes between us. Following Gabriel, we go northwest for awhile before straightening our path and heading north. The forest is growing windy, fresh air blowing around the trees. It's refreshing, but also a warning that something far less pleasant is on its way.

Oh, look at that. Rain.

First a pattering, it grows in ferocity until it's a determined drizzle – the most common type of rain in Olympia. Hooting indignantly, Merrifeather launches from Gabriel's shoulder and flies into the trees.

"Where's she going?" I'm shielding my head with my arms.

Gabriel says, "Somewhere it's not raining," his turquoise eyes soft. "She hates the rain. Brought her to the wrong part of the country, didn't I? It's like a rainforest around here. Anyway, stand still," he orders.

"Why? What are you going to do?"

"Stand still!" he reiterates. Screw it. I halt. Gathering his wand to his hand, Gabriel taps it against my head. "Equilibri!"

The rain stops. Except it doesn't. It's only stopped for me. Looking up, I see drops falling directly into my eyes. Yet I feel nothing. I'm fully dry, recovered from the slight dampness I procured.

"Yay!" I exclaim. "I love magic!"

Wolf's expression is loathing as he watches on. Gabriel ignores him. "Equilibri," he says, tapping the wand against his own chest. He's relaxed and comfortable, the water clinging to ivory robes evaporating at once.

"Fantastic!" I want to clap but I fight it off. "Now do Wolf!"

The werewolf and wizard exchange scathing glances. Unfortunately for Wolf, even a drizzle adds up. He's soaked, his russet skin gleaming with water. Black eyes are unmistakable. _Don't put a spell on me!_

Pocketing his wand, Gabriel grins at Wolf. "Look what we have, Nora! A wet dog! Here, puppy! Come and get dry!"

Wolf pounces on the wizard. Taking advantage of Gabriel's pocketed wand, Wolf roars, "Take that back, you evil creature!" He's on top of the wizard, pushing him into the dirt. "Take it back or I'll kill you!"

With no wand and no Merrifeather, Gabriel is forced to defend himself on his own. He's losing. Wolf is punching him anywhere he can lay his fists, bludgeoning the wizard's body with all his might.

"Stop!" I scream. "Please! Stop!" I try and get between them but can't, so I run around them desperately. I think of yelling for Merri, but I know she'll take Gabriel's side. I don't want Wolf's eyes ripped out!

Gabriel gets hold of his wand. "Decimate!"

Wolf is thrown back against a tree with a sickening thud as the red jet of light hits him. No sooner is Gabriel on his feet with his wand aloft than he's facing a snarling, fiercely manic black wolf, its eyes narrowed into deadly slits. Wolf is barking into Gabriel's face and for the first time, I see fear stamped across it.

I throw myself between them as Gabriel yells, "Nullify!"

Everything turns black.

* * *

The world is fuzzy. Colorful and fuzzy. But not for long. Soon it's just colorful. Opening my eyes, I see two boys standing over me. The blond haired boy is wearing ivory robes and is entirely dry. The russet skinned boy is wild-eyed and soaking wet. Both are terrified as they stare at me.

"Are you okay?" Gabriel asks.

Sitting up, I rub my eyes confusedly. I feel dizzy. "What happened?"

Wolf says, "You were cursed by an evil wizard!"

Gabriel is too preoccupied to respond. Cupping his hand around an imaginary glass, he points his wand at it and says, "Aqui!" A glass appears and fills with crystal clear water. "Here, drink this," he orders, handing it to me. "It will help. I'm sorry, Nora – it appears I attacked you by mistake."

"That's not 'what appears' to have happened," the werewolf corrects, "that's what happened! There's no mistaking it, wizard! You clumsy great idiot! How could you attack an Immag? You're as bad as a vampire!"

Enraged, Gabriel opens his mouth. I get there first. I splash my water into Wolf's face so he's even wetter and throw the glass at Gabriel. It dings off his shoulder. "You're both fucking idiots!" I shout at them. "Look at us! It's past midday and we've accomplished absolutely nothing!"

They look at each other.

"You don't _have_ to be friends," I continue, gazing from one to the other. "But you _do_ have to get along for a day. _One_ day! Can't you manage that? At what point do you realize both wizards and werewolves are degenerate if they can't work things out for twenty four hours? You guys suck!"

Getting to my feet, I start walking through the trees without a backward glance. Part of me seriously wishes they won't follow. But I know I can never make this happen without them. A pipe dream. The Newborn isn't going to walk up to me and shoot himself in the head. If only, if only.

Gabriel and Wolf catch up to me. They say in unison, "We're coming!"

"Then I have conditions!" I tell them loudly, stopping short. I look from one to the other – from the comfortably dry wizard to the sopping wet werewolf. "Gabriel, you will put the Equilibri charm on Wolf!"

Wolf growls, "He won't!"

"He _will_!" I follow up. "And you will _both_ stop fighting for the remainder of our day together! I would hate to see the Newborn live another day," I say strategically. "So what's it going to be boys?"

By way of an answer, Gabriel approaches Wolf. The werewolf eyes him the whole time, but Gabriel's stance isn't threatening. Tapping Wolf's wrist, Gabriel mutters the incantation. The water evaporates from Wolf's form, leaving him warm and dry. Wolf gasps his sudden comfort, black eyes blazing.

I'm watching them. All it takes is a spark. "You'll stop fighting?"

"Yes," the werewolf exhales.

"Fine," Gabriel says.

I swipe my brown hair behind my ear, enjoying my position as moderator. "Lead on, Gabriel. It's time we were there!"

Continuing in silence – all of us protected from the rain by the Equilibri spell – Gabriel, Wolf, and I keep our eyes peeled and our ears keen for movement in the woods. After a bit, a thrush zooms away through the undergrowth. Later, we spot a deer about thirty yards away. Neither gives us trouble.

"Could really use the Vampass right now," the wizard muses.

"Sorry," I say to him, "for breaking your new one. I didn't know the candles would go out all at once! Took me by surprise..."

"Magic candles," Gabriel explains. "They're on a timer of sorts. That way they can be synced together to create the effect you experienced. It's beautiful when it's not a surprise."

I smile at him, making sure to swipe my hair behind my ear as I do. "It was beautiful _as_ a surprise, Gabriel."

Wolf is level with us. "What are you guys talking about?"

"How I hate the Northwest," Gabriel answers, looking up at the sky as we walk. "It's so rainy and damp. Leave it to a vampire to find it hospitable."

"Or a werewolf," Wolf growls, "because _we_ live here too, you know!"

Dangerous waters. Time to steer clear.

"Where do you live, Wolf?" I ask quickly, before there's much friction. "You never talk about your home."

Wolf launches into this willingly. "With most of my pack on a farm north of Olympia. What?" he asks as the wizard snorts. "Is living on a farm funny to you? I suppose you think we're animals so it's suitable. Gabriel, you can go –"

"How big is your pack?" I interject loudly.

"Maybe eight or nine of us."

Surveying the trees, I'm distracted. "Where's Merri gone to?" I ask.

Gabriel swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead. "She's scouting ahead for us. She'll tell us when we're close."

"This Newborn," Wolf says thoughtfully, "we wolves know it's the thirteenth vampire in these parts, but that doesn't explain why the Bureau of Magic sent somebody. Vampires have been here for ages."

"It does explain why, actually," Gabriel tells him. "We have a vampire limit that can't be exceeded. The limit depends on the size and geography of each state. The rainier and cloudier the region the larger the limit, since vampires like that sort of weather. Washington – along with Maine and New Hampshire – exceeded its limit this year. Washington by one. Maine and New Hampshire by two and three, respectively. Accordingly, the Bureau sent multiple Releasers to those states. But here I am alone."

"You're not alone," I begin, "you have –"

"I get it," Wolf interrupts, scratching his russet arm. "This is another Bureau of Magic control freak-out – trying to sanction what isn't under your jurisdiction. I shouldn't be surprised," he concludes, his crooked smile dangerous.

Gabriel's right hand is resting on the wand in his pocket. "Control, yes," he says calmly. "It _is_ a matter of control. I am a Releaser of the Bureau of _Beast_ control. You would do well to remember that, Wolf, because I have a license to kill, maim, and torture sub Purids. I'm not sorry to say that includes you!"

_Fucking shitballs!_ Here we go again.

"Me too!" I'm trying to diffuse the situation. "Immags, too! It's not only you, Wolf! He can kill, maim, and torture me too! So it's okay!"

Turquoise eyes are deadly as they reflect black. "And what's this about sanctioning what's not under our jurisdiction? Talk about hypocrisy! You wolves made yourselves the sworn protectors of humanity! How about your _own_ crusade for vampire mortality! You say nothing of that!"

Wolf is holding his own. "There's a difference, Gabriel," he says levelly, unflinching. "We kill vampires in moderation. We only attack when _they_ attack humans," he explains. "Your lot fires at will!"

"We don't! That's why we have the limits, idiot!"

The werewolf is about to throw himself on Gabriel again when a screeching hoot issues through the trees. Merrifeather soars into view and lands on Gabriel's outstretched arm, her hoots turning soft and low. "There you are!" Gabriel says, patting her white plumage. "I've missed you!"

Growling, Wolf turns away. Crisis averted for now.

We continue through the trees. Nobody is speaking and I think that's best. Now I don't have to worry about being treated to a front row seat of the werewolves against the wizards all time world slam. Or whatever the hell those fighting thingies are called. It's time we should be doing something.

Merri hoots at Gabriel, amber eyes wide.

"We've been followed," the wizard translates.

"Oh no!" I gasp. "For how long?"

Gabriel continues communicating with his owl. "We're safe," he reassures. "A vampire followed us for a while then circled around and ran ahead. You know what that means," he says, gazing at Wolf.

The werewolf nods. "We're getting close."

Silence.

"Kind of embarrassing," Gabriel says at last. "We were so busy arguing we didn't notice being tracked by a vampire. Only Merri had the wherewithal to figure it out – you and I couldn't get it together. You – a werewolf sworn to protect humans, and me – a Releaser from the Bureau of Beast Control. Shameful."

Wolf flushes. It's so noticeable when this happens because his usually russet skin turns light. An odd sight. "Yeah, that – that _is_ embarrassing," he agrees. "I'm glad the pack can't see me now. Nora and Merri are the only ones with sense here. We need to find some before we get there, Gabriel."

"Too late," says the wizard, grinning back at the werewolf as he points to a shadowy structure in the distance.

## Chapter Thirteen

I'm squinting through the trees. I see the outline of the place from here. It's tall and blocky, but all else is lost in the shrouding rain of the forest around us. The wetness seems to engulf my senses, dulling them. Not what I need right now. In any case, there can be no denying the path forward.

Gabriel seems to agree. "Looks like this _was_ the right direction," he says, speaking to Merrifeather but loud enough so everyone can hear. "Fine work, Merri. You remember this place. Don't you? Don't you?" he coos at his owl, stroking her magnificent white plumage. "We've been here before!"

Excitement is building in me like a tidal wave. So far I haven't allowed myself to acknowledge my nerves. Strategically, I only do so now, when my excitement and adrenaline is such that my nerves are dashed. Eclipsed. Annexed. The structure in the distance is putting a thump in my heart.

"Let's get closer," Wolf says. "Not too quickly or too loudly. They'll know we're coming now their tracker has run ahead, but we should be careful anyway. We're going to need a fool proof plan."

Swiping my hair over my ear, I gaze into turquoise eyes. "This is where you've been coming to do reconnaissance work?"

"Yes," answers the wizard, still petting his owl. "You see the trouble? It's hard to get a reading on whose inside let alone whether the Newborn is among them. Not surprisingly, I have yet to be certain who the Newborn is," he says, dislodging his eyes from mine. "You know I have a hunch."

"You think you know?" Wolf asks curiously. "Who is it?"

Gabriel is staring at the building in the distance. "There's a vampire named Jack," he says ominously, "I think it's him."

Wolf frowns in confusion. "Why?"

"Because," Gabriel answers the werewolf, "he is _both_ manic and uncontrolled. Sure signs – as I'm sure you know – of a newborn vampire. Also, there's something else intriguing me," he muses, trailing off.

"Well?" I coax him. "What intrigues you?"

"He – Jack, I mean – is Mortimer's second in command. I can't begin to reason why – it's so puzzling. It's unusual in a coven for a veteran like Mortimer to have a newborn as second in command," he explains.

My head is spinning around his words, confusion mounting. "I don't understand," I tell him. "Who's Mortimer?"

"Mortimer is the leader of this coven," the wizard answers. "There is almost always a single leader. Vampires are by nature primitive and tribal creatures. They haven't the intellectual strength or mental capacity to construct sophisticated governments. Their intelligence – once human and considerable – is leveled by a mad desire for flesh. They become consumed by it."

Wolf cracks his knuckles. "Don't underestimate vampires, Nora. I never do," he says, flashing me his dazzling, crooked smile. "Pretending your enemies are halfwits doesn't save you from them."

"This Jack," I start hastily before they begin arguing again, "do you notice anything else about him, Gabriel?" My tone is enormously hinting. I mean, how can he not notice? They're practically twins!

He shakes his head. "Nothing beyond him being the Newborn, which in my opinion is damning enough! Why should we need more reasons to attack him?" he asks, clearly misunderstanding me.

The werewolf speaks before I can. "Come on – we're wasting time here," he says to Gabriel and me. "We _can't_ be sure the Newborn is in there. If not, we'll have to track him down tonight. Let's go!"

So slowly and quietly, we begin moving through the forest. The building draws closer, its outline becoming clearer. When we're only a short distance away, we find some undergrowth to hide behind. I'm not sure why, considering we've almost certainly been seen by now. Gabriel is leading. Not me.

_Thank heaven, too_ , my alter ego remarks. _Or you would all be dead!_

_I hope you die, bitch_ , is my response.

The building is a stockade. Made entirely of wood, the walls rise ten feet into the air, their palisades rolling away to the back of its construction. Sentinel towers are positioned on both sides of the double front gate. The whole place looks poorly kept and derelict, as though neglected for a long time.

And that's not all...

The double wooden gates are wide open, swung outward and revealing what's inside. Fire pits are here and there on the gravely ground and a longhouse type structure is set against the back palisade wall. That must be where the vampires live. Or _lived_.

I see no one. Anywhere.

"It's abandoned," I breathe, disappointment etching my every pore. "It's abandoned, Gabriel! We'll never find the Newborn now!"

Wolf is beside me, his hand squeezing my shoulder. Black eyes gazing at the stockade, his maroon lips are parting in thought. "I wouldn't be so sure," he says finally, looking at me. "This may be a trap! An ambush. I wouldn't put it past vampires. We need to be careful whatever we do."

"I would," Gabriel says from my other side, his hand finding my free shoulder. "I _would_ put it past them, Wolf. I've made this point! Vampires are primitive, non-intelligent beings. They do _not_ have the mental fortitude to construct a scheme of this magnitude. They prefer charging you with teeth!"

Now both their hands are on my shoulders I feel pressured. Why do I have to decide who's right? This is a lose-lose for me. If I _had_ to decide, I think I'd be with Wolf on this one. Caution is a good default position. Except when having sex. Or dating wizards. Or hunting vampires. Or... never mind.

The werewolf shakes his head. "Your arrogance will be your downfall," he says to the wizard. "Perhaps it's narcissism. I can't tell. Keep in mind, Gabriel, there's a human with us. She's far more vulnerable than you and me. Would you risk _her_ life on your own bigoted, condescending hunch?"

Wolf's black eyes widen in surprise when Gabriel smiles back, unperturbed. "Absolutely," the wizard answers him, "because the fact is it's not a hunch. It's the truth. Vampires are physiologically, chemically, biologically, psychologically, and intellectually inferior to wizards. This is not bigotry, Wolf, but undisputed scientific fact. I invite you to research the topic."

"Yeah?" Wolf growls. "I invite you to stuff your head up your –"

"Enough!" I exclaim, pushing them both away from me. "Enough of this buffoonery! There is one way to decide what to do. _I_ will decide whether we go in or not. Can we all agree to that?"

Gabriel swipes his blond hair to the side of his forehead, then nods.

"It's your choice," Wolf tells me. "But I think it's a trap!"

"I think," Gabriel begins menacingly, staring into black eyes, "the lair is empty and we'll have to continue looking for the Newborn. In which case we don't have all day! So please, Nora, do us the honor."

Merri hoots her approval of her master's words, amber eyes wide. "See?" Gabriel adds. "Even Merri agrees."

"Of course she agrees with _you_ ," Wolf steams, his tone lilting and obvious. "She's your owl, Gabriel! Merrifeather should peep in there for us. That way we don't have to worry about being ambushed."

"Brilliant!" I exclaim.

But the wizard isn't having it. "That's not how we roll," he says, looking into huge amber eyes. "We face dangers together, Merri and me. Always have. She's not a lesser-than. Not a mannequin to throw curses at."

"Go figure," Wolf exhales. "The owl is his equal."

Gabriel responds, "She isn't _just_ an owl, Wolf. Merrifeather is a trained Releaser's owl. She's a vampire hunter herself. Merri – like me – has endured serious and intensive training. Most owls can't do it. But Merri can and did. She's frightful when she wants to be – she finds the bright of their eyes and the odor they shed. Two biggest giveaways of a vampire – their scent and their eyes. Merri _always_ finds them. Better than the best, most expensive Vampass ever," he adds lovingly, stroking her feathers.

They're so right together! I can't help the thought.

An idea! "Gabriel, can't you translocate in there to look around? If there are vampires, you can translocate right out!"

Wolf scowls. "He could what?"

"That's a fantastic idea," remarks the wizard. "I'm happy to, Nora – I'm happy to journey alone into their compound. Seeing as how our werewolf here is frightened, it appears to be the only option!"

"I'm not frightened!" Wolf exclaims. "I'll go by myself! Unlike _him_ ," he adds to me furiously, "I don't need magic to keep me company!"

Beseechingly, I gaze into black eyes. "Wolf, please let Gabriel go in alone. He can translocate, Wolf!"

"Impossible," says the werewolf. "I'm going."

"Then I'm going, too!" I inform them. "We're all in?"

The wizard and the werewolf nod in unison.

It's time.

Disentangling ourselves from the undergrowth, we walk out into plain sight of the stockade's sentinel towers. Nothing appears in them. No cry of warning or shout to shut the gates. We are left approaching unscathed and possibly unnoticed. Hopefully unnoticed. We can't know. Not yet.

Not till it's too late.

Together, we walk through the open gates and into the compound.

* * *

Nobody greets our eyes. The gravely dirt ground here is sodden and soaked, a victim of the rain. Various kinds of debris fill the courtyard of the stockade. Especially in corners. Everything from wood piles to sawn branches to rock piles surround our steps. The wooden gates remain open behind us. A good sign. The single door into the longhouse ahead remains closed.

Gabriel's wand is aloft, his turquoise eyes narrowed.

Wolf's fists are balled, his expression tight.

Merri's enormous amber eyes are swiveling around with frightening speed.

I survey the sky. The rain is dying away, the somber drizzle subsiding. Finally! The rain hasn't bothered us – of course – but I'm tired of the ground being squishy. Searching the compound, I attempt to miss nothing.

Nothing happens. No one comes. Not a sound issues from anywhere in the stockade. It's like a ghost town. A wreck left for thieves and plunderers. Abandoned. Why did they leave so fast? If somebody tracked us, how come they ran ahead? To tell the compound dwellers to flee? Perhaps...

I can't tell what's happening, but I'm beginning to not like it.

Merri hoots gently.

This appears to be Gabriel's signal. Pocketing his wand, he says, "Well, I suppose I was right after all. The place is deserted."

And then...

They're everywhere.

Vampires!

Flinging themselves from behind wood piles and debris they charge for our throats. The longhouse door flies open and vampires pour out of it. Heading for us. Running with inhuman speed to bite! To kill!

Wolf leaps into the air as a vampire throws himself at me. Gabriel draws his wand, but Wolf is already the snarling dog, black eyes narrowed. The vampire careens into the werewolf and they fight.

"Decimate!" Gabriel roars, pointing his wand at another vampire. Red light and a sounding explosion as the vampire is thrown into the air, clear over the stockade wall. "Annihilate!" The white light misses another. "Nullify! Decimate!"

I'm huddled to the ground. Defenseless. I don't know what to do! But I have to do something! Sprinting to a rock pile, I throw myself to the ground as a vampire leaps for my throat. She sails clean over my head and smashes to the ground. Grabbing a rock from the pile, I aim at her head.

"You're feisty, aren't you?" Amoretta breathes, bright red eyes burning in their sockets. "Kill me! Nothing can bring me more pleasure!"

I throw the rock at her head, missing. Cackling wildly, her painted face glistening in the flotsam of the rain, Amoretta jumps for my throat, teeth bared. "Nullify!" She smashes into my neck as the purple light strikes, her teeth dragging against my skin. Pushing her away, I see stupefied eyes. She splashes to the mud.

"Get them under control!" A voice is screaming from one of the sentinel towers. "They're outnumbered four to one! Jack!"

Ivory robes swirling around him majestically, Gabriel is sending curse after curse after curse. Red! Purple! White! "Decimate! Nullify! Annihilate!" Struck by the kill curse, a vampire falls to the ground at Gabriel's feet.

"Stop him!" screams the voice from the tower. "Stop the wizard!"

I can't keep the smile off my face. Gabriel is so effortlessly taking them down. I see why he takes so much pride in being a Releaser. To witness him in his element is confirmatory, making me realize he's everything he says he is – an undeniably fantastic, truly above and beyond average wizard.

But then I see something that makes my heart burst.

There's a reason Gabriel's having an easy time of it. The vampires are attacking Wolf. His teeth wrapped around the throat of one vampire and his claws sunk in the chest of another, Wolf is thrashing madly. At first I think he's thrashing to kill his victims, but then I realize he's thrashing in agony.

Four more vampires have grabbed him around the middle and sunk their teeth into fur. Oh my god! No! No! No! Wolf said he could survive a vampire bite. But four? A volcano of fury erupts inside me. Grabbing a rock in each hand from the pile, I charge at the vampires without a second thought.

"Decimate!" Gabriel yells, pointing his wand at one of the vampires attacking Wolf. "Nora, no! Run! I'll get them! Run for the gates!"

I barely hear him. All I hear is the yowling whine of the werewolf being tortured. The venom must be fusing with his blood. "Take that!" I scream, lobbing a rock at one of the vampires' heads. It hits spot on, knocking him off the werewolf with a satisfyingly loud bonk. "And that!" I throw my other rock. It misses.

Its intended target – a middle aged male vampire – releases his teeth from Wolf's fur. The werewolf is prone on the ground. Unmoving. The vampire is coming for me, picking up speed. I've run out of rocks! Searching, I see Gabriel defending himself from a vampire attacking from behind.

He won't find out in time!

_Fucking fuck!_ I'm dead.

The vampire coming for me breaks into a run. "You're mine, juicy!"

Nearly upon me. I close my eyes. Goodbye sweet life!

A roaring screech. My eyes fly open. I can't see the vampire! I can't see him because white wings have spread in front of my face, blocking his from view. Merri hovers there. Then I hear two horrible, _horrible_ popping sounds.

Holy bejesus fuck...

Screaming in agony the vampire falls to the ground, his legs kicking wildly. His hands covering his eyes. Then – flapping over his body – Merri drops his shredded eyeballs on him. My scream is unheard as I see the vampire remove his hands from his face. Empty sockets stare back at me.

"Kill the owl!"

A vampire leaps for Merri, but she flies higher into the air – out of reach. Settling on the palisade wall, she gazes down on the proceedings, her huge amber eyes bright. Ten feet above the rest of us.

"Nora!" Gabriel roars. "Duck!"

I manage in the nick of time. A vampire flies over my head, his teeth bared and his evil eyes wild. Sprinting back to the rock pile, I pick up two more as a familiar sight falls upon me. A vampire nearly identical to Gabriel except bright eyed, filthy, and dressed in shabby Immag clothes. Jack.

He's coming for me across the compound at a fast, determined stride. I see Gabriel barely restraining the onslaught of vampires with his curses. "Nullify! Decimate!" But the vampires that were preoccupied with Wolf before are now attacking the wizard. The werewolf is lifeless on the ground.

Gabriel could be, too.

Not my wizard! Not my werewolf! I have to do something!

Jack is almost here, his bloody smile unrestrained. "No!" I scream at him, throwing a rock at his head. It misses completely. "Get back!" I throw the other and he dodges it easily. "I'm warning you!" I exclaim, gesturing crazily at him as I'm backed up to the palisade wall. "Get back! Leave me alone!"

Jack laughs in my face.

Screeching madly, Merri launches from the palisade wall above me. Heading for Jack's sockets. But as she's coming in for the landing, he throws himself to the ground and jumps up beyond her. Merrifeather is forced to right a near crash landing. Flapping ungainly, she flies off to help Gabriel.

"Abandoned!" Jack taunts, his dirty face wreathed in glee. "Alone! How could they? It's almost like they don't care!"

I'm panicking. I can't deny it. My body is shaking. Gabriel and Merri are attempting to take on eight vampires single handedly. I can't count on their help now. The rock pile is out of reach and I have no other weapons. Wolf remains passed out on the ground while the wooden gates to the compound remain open. _Damn it!_ I should have run when Gabriel told me to. Too late. No turning back.

Jack advances on me. My back hits the palisade wall. He's a foot from me. A dirty hand reaches out for my face. Touches it. I'm shuddering against him as he drags his thumb down my cheek, eyes glinting. "Look at you," he breathes, "alone! The things I can do to you," he moans in my ear.

Reaching in the pocket of his dirty coat, he brings forth a short hunting knife. The kind used for skinning deer. "I'll keep it simple," he says, touching the knife to my throat. I gulp against the blade. It hurts to do so. Bringing the knife back into view, Jack reveals a trickle of blood running down it. "Taste it, Nora," he sighs, forcing the blade against my mouth. "Taste your blood!"

I hesitate. "Do it!" Jack roars. Shaking in terror, I let my tongue slip through my teeth. And taste the blood on his blade. Taste my _own_ blood. "Well," he asks me, grinning wickedly. "Do you like it?"

I want to say no. I can't. "Yes," I exhale. "It tastes good..."

"I would know..." Jack murmurs in my ear. Grabbing me around the throat, he spins me around. "Surrender, wizard!" Jack screams at Gabriel, dragging me forward. "Surrender or I'll cut her throat!" The blade is back against my neck, warm from the heat of my own breath.

Gabriel is too distracted to notice. "Decimate!" he yells, pointing his wand at a vampire. The vampire explodes away from him in a shower of red light. "Nullify!" Merri rockets at another vampire. Yowling, the vampire falls onto a wood pile. "Torgi!" Gabriel shouts, pointing his wand at the pile. It bursts into flames. Screaming, the vampire writhes insanely. Burning alive.

"Halt!" The word booms from the sentinel tower, louder than anything. "Halt, wizard! We have the human girl! Surrender now! You _and_ your owl! Do so, or her life is forfeit from this earth!"

Turquoise eyes aflame, his brow flecked with sweat, Gabriel searches wildly around. Unable to believe it. Then he spots Jack and me – Jack with his strong arm grasping me around the middle and me with the knife at my throat, my expression tight and scared. Oh no! It can't end this way!

_It has to_ , my alter ego says sadly. _I'm sorry, Nora._

_Are you?_ I ask her. _Are you really?_

Around the compound, vampires are getting to their feet, nursing aches and pains. Black eyes and bruised faces abound. Flapping high, Merrifeather perches on the palisade, awaiting instruction. The vampire on the wood pile continues to scream, writhing in his inferno. Everyone is watching Gabriel.

"Put the fire out," Jack orders calmly, staring down turquoise eyes. "Now!" He drags the knife down my throat.

"Ouch!" I gasp.

Face impermeable, Gabriel points his wand at the burning wood pile. "Sumio aqui!" A swimming pool's worth of water splashes onto the wood, dousing it. The vampire stops screaming and moans, gurgling water from his mouth. The wizard is paying him no heed. Instead, he's looking daggers at Jack.

The vampire grins. "Patience, wizard. _He_ is coming."

I can only guess who he's referring to. We wait. Nobody daring to move. I _can't_ move my head without cutting my throat against Jack's blade. So I take inventory as best I can with fixed vision.

Eleven vampires attacked us including Jack. One is dead, killed by Gabriel – he's lying on the ground nearby. One is permanently disfigured, having his eyes torn out by Merri – he's collapsed on the ground as well, apparently having passed out. One is severely burned, a combined effort of both Merri and Gabriel – he's lying on the doused wood pile. Can't say if he's fainted or not.

That leaves eight. Seven in front of me, including Amoretta. One behind me, being Jack. Eight plus three casualties are eleven. I think I can guess who's in the tower. That's twelve. But where's thirteen?

Where is the Newborn?

Silence falls on the compound as a breeze sweeps my hair. Vampires are watching me hungrily. Something moves on the periphery of my vision. Something black. I crane ever so slightly to look. Ouch! I do it anyway, and I'm rewarded for my efforts. Yay! I'm so relieved! Wolf's leg is twitching!

Jack's noticed, too. "Henry," he begins, "Get –"

_Thud! Thud! Thud!_ The sound fills the stockade. _Thud! Thud! Thud!_ It's coming from a sentinel tower. _Thud! Thud! Thud!_ Somebody is descending the wooden staircase inside. The noise is incredibly loud. Geez, I guess that's what you get when the whole freaking place is made of wood. _Thud! Thud! Thud!_

He emerges from an opening at the tower's base. A tall, slender vampire. Gray haired, despite looking no older than forty. His garb is fascinating me most. Long, enveloping black robes are fastened around his figure. Marvelous. Undeniably so. He's the first vampire I've seen in robes.

Spreading his arms wide, he comes to greet us. "Welcome!" His voice has the same booming quality we heard. Apparently it's natural. "I'm so pleased you came!" Sweeping over to where Jack and I are standing, he stares into my eyes. His are bright red. "Here is our specimen, I see," he remarks, taking my chin in his fingers and squeezing it. "The pleasure belongs to me!"

What the fuck?

"Hands off, Mortimer!" This comes from an equally powerful voice. Turning slowly in front of me, the vampire reveals Gabriel over his shoulder, turquoise eyes glinting and deadly. "I'm warning you!"

"What do you plan?" Mortimer asks. His expression is incredulous. "You're surrounded and outnumbered. Best of all," he adds with a gleeful smile, "we have your friend here in custody!" Sighing contentedly, he looks upward, then his smile dies. "Can't we do anything about the bird?"

"No, sire," answers one of the vampires – a young male. "We tried taking it down but it's ferocious! Ripped out Thomas's eyes!"

Mortimer says, "So I saw. Put him out of his misery. The rest of you!" he yells, his temper instant. "Use your brains, blockheads! There are long pieces of wood around! Use them as pikes to tear the bird down. This isn't magic!"

"Well said," Gabriel observes.

Mortimer whirls around, his black robes billowing. "Silence, conjurer!"

"If we tie them up first," Jack begins loudly, "we can deal with this situation better, sire. The werewolf has only minutes before he's revived. He received four bites and has been out, but it won't be long!"

Mortimer's taunts are for all to hear. "See! There! Somebody with a brain! Thank you, Jack! The rest of you would have let the werewolf recover and attack me from behind! Learn to think, idiots!"

I'm surprised to witness the chief vampire being so mean to his followers, but it's entertaining so I'm not complaining. I'm rather enjoying myself until I feel the blade prick against my throat.

"Not an inch, Nora, not an inch," Jack breathes in my ear.

Mortimer is approaching the wizard, his arms wide. "What are you waiting for?" he asks, brow furrowed. "Drop your wand!"

Gabriel is searching around wildly like a trapped animal. I feel terrible for him, but I don't know what to do. I realize people in my situation are supposed to yell, 'No, Gabriel! I don't matter. Save yourself!' The truth is I _do_ matter. I want to live. Death is still on my backburner.

"Drop your wand," Mortimer commands. "Drop it and she lives. Hold it for another second and she dies."

I'm staring into turquoise eyes, my own desperate. Please, Gabriel! Do it!

Mortimer snarls, "Drop it at once!"

Turquoise eyes surrendering into a cloudy sheen, Gabriel gives up. First his arm slackens, lengthening, falling to his side. Then, a second later, the wand leaves his grasp to stick in the mud.

My wizard is finished.

Defeated.

Five years at Magasant.

For nothing.

"Get the wand," Mortimer demands. The young male who spoke before retrieves it. "Give it to me, Seamus!" Taking the wand from his follower, Mortimer presses it against Gabriel's neck, finding his pulse. He jabs hard, making the wizard wince. "I've always wanted to do this," says the vampire, his voice laced with satisfaction as he presses the wand into Gabriel. "I _can't_ use it, but it feels like power all the same. Oh to be a wizard! Oh to be a wizard... clearly isn't everything!"

Slipping the wand into the pocket of his black robes, Mortimer turns to his followers. "Three stakes. One fire. Put the wizard in the middle and remember to tie the ropes tight, fools! Get on with it!"

* * *

We are tied to stakes.

Gabriel's in the middle. I'm on the left. Wolf's on the right. We're facing the front palisade gates – now closed. This is bad. This is really, _really_ bad. I don't know what they have planned, but it includes rope, wood, and kindling.

Oh fuck! Oh fuck!

This can't be happening!

_It is happening_ , my alter ego says. _Well, you have to die someday._

_Thank you for that observation_ , I respond to her.

At least Wolf is conscious now. He's transitioned back into a boy and is wincing every time I look at him. It's the vampire venom. But he _is_ conscious – I will take what I can get right now. As I gaze over at him, he offers me a sad, crooked smile, his maroon lips quirking upward. "I guess this is the end," he says.

"Death isn't the end," I tell him. I'm trying extremely hard to smile back. I'm failing. "So you're wrong!"

The werewolf looks sickly. His normally russet skin is white. It's frightening to witness. Less frightening – I guess – in the face of my own death. Right now I'm simply grateful I didn't have to see my favorite werewolf turn into a vampire. I'm glad he's able to understand me. Able to say goodbye.

Gabriel is not speaking. Or looking at me. Turquoise eyes are downcast and ignoring all around them. An expression of shock has unfurled down his face over the last ten minutes. Because he failed. He failed as a wizard. He failed as a Releaser. He failed as my protector, let alone his own. We deal with the end in different ways, so I won't begrudge him. Won't force him to talk to me.

I _will_ tell him I love him when the time comes. Wolf, too.

Mortimer is gazing from Gabriel to Jack, his face amused. "This is quite something!"

Closing my eyes, I take several deep breaths of air. I realize they are among my last. They are beautiful, full and fresh like the air feels after a cleansing rain. Life is such a blessing. I know that now.

I'm surprised when I hear my wizard speak. "I want to know something," he says to Mortimer.

The vampire responds, "Ask away, doomed soul."

"The Newborn," Gabriel begins, turquoise eyes blazing as they reflect red, "Is Jack the Newborn? Is he number thirteen?"

A pause.

Mortimer's face twists into a smile. He searches for the named but doesn't find him. "Jack," Mortimer remarks, his gaze falling between us, "is _not_ the Newborn. But – my dear wizard – I dare say Jack knows who is!"

I can't help it. "How?" I ask him. A second's reprieve from my death sentence is all this inquiry can possibly give me, and that's reason enough to do it. "How does Jack know who the Newborn is?"

The vampire's eyes are mad. "Because," he begins, "Jack is the vampire who _bit_ the Newborn. Didn't you know?" I shake my head. "Poor thing!" Mortimer coos, delighted. "Your ignorance is complete!"

"Tell us who the Newborn is!" Gabriel shouts at him. "I demand to know!"

Red eyes grow impossibly wide. "You _demand_ to know, wizard? Have you no awareness of your situation? I suppose wizards are used to giving orders to _sub Purids_ ," he says, emphasizing his words with rage, "because you think you're first on the pecking order of things. Don't you?"

Silence from the wizard.

"We know you do," Mortimer continues, his expression deadly, "that's why _you_ are _first_ to get burned alive!"

"No!" I scream. "Please! Don't!"

The vampire's expression turns to pure delight upon hearing my screams. Bathing in them, he turns around to face the front of the stockade. "Get a fire going!" he roars to the surrounding vampires. "I said get a fire going! Seamus, more wood! Amoretta, get kerosene! We are having flesh tonight!"

This announcement is met with roars of approval.

* * *

I see no way around it.

Around the fire before us, piled high with wood and burning. Vampires surround the melee, their faces gleaming with hungry anticipation. I'm trying to free myself, but my hands are tied too tightly behind my back. I try pushing the ground with my legs. The stake is too deeply planted.

Staring into the sky, I see evening is falling. My last. Maybe – just maybe – I'll get to see one more purple sky before the end. If I'm lucky. Though things like sunsets are harder to appreciate while burning alive. The unfortunate truth of this soaks my skin, filling my pores. Dread is engulfing my senses.

"Are you scared of dying?" Wolf asks from beside me.

Startled, I gaze over at him. His black eyes are wide and panicked, russet skin sweaty and reflecting flames. I have to think for a moment. "Sometimes," I answer honestly. "Sometimes I'm scared, I guess. Yes."

The werewolf nods, his muscular arms straining against tight bonds. No avail. "Are you scared now?" he asks.

Geez, so many hard questions.

Exhaling deeply, I close my eyes. I want to lie, but I'm not going to. Not to Wolf. "Yes," I tell him, "because I think it's going to be painful – dying like this. When I think of death I think of so many things. Never pain. I never thought mine would be a painful death. Silly me!"

Wolf grins his gorgeous, crooked grin. For a second I forget about what's happening. We're back in Dr. Tuten's English 301 classroom on the first day and I'm smirking over his name. Wolfgang. The second passes and I remember where we are. See the roaring fire in front of us.

"Truth is," Wolf begins, "after being bitten by four vampires and enduring their poison, fire doesn't scare me much!"

Gabriel snorts from between us. We stare at him, but the wizard adds no more. He is giving the world the silent treatment. Fine by me. I can't think of anything he can say to make me feel better about dying.

Disengaging from the crowd around the fire, Mortimer approaches our bound forms. Clapping his hands together and beaming, he says, "Tonight – my dear captives – you will burn alive until dead! You will then be consumed by vampires," he adds, his smile growing manic. "Have you no comment?"

Staring from Wolf to Gabriel to me, Mortimer appears expectant. The others aren't answering him so I'm not going to, either. We're not going to give him the satisfaction of playing with us. He can kill us. He may not play with us. The mildest, teensiest bit of respect would be nice.

The vampire's smile falters, then anger flares in his face. But he gets it under control. "I am shocked," he says loudly, speaking mainly to Gabriel. "You and your entourage were so easily tracked through the forest. _You_ – a Bureau of Magic Releaser! Couldn't believe it when Amoretta told me. Oh yes," he says, responding to my surprise, "she traveled your footsteps the entire time. Pathetic!"

He's attempting to get a rise out of Gabriel. To his vast chagrin, it's not working well. So – rage sprinkling his features – he tries a new tactic. Addressing Wolf, he says, " _You_ – a werewolf of the Olympic Peninsula. A sacred, sworn protector of humans! You failed. Failed! The human girl will die!"

The werewolf is not dignifying this with a response. When the vampire leader realizes it, he flies into a rage. "You will all die!" he roars, spit flying from his mouth. "Let's see you keep silent when burning alive! They don't get till nightfall!" he exclaims to the watching vampires. "Bring kindling! We burn them now!"

Cheers and hoorays greet these words.

Vampires are everywhere gathering things. Bundles of hay, pieces of wood, twigs, branches – anything that's around and readily flammable. Bringing the kindling to the stakes, they set it around our legs in circles.

Fucking bejesus shitballs!

Help me! Something! Somebody!

Now the vampires are gathered around us in a circle, their jeering faces and catcalls swimming in my face. _Oh fuck! Oh fuck!_ This isn't fair! I don't want to die! I'm not ready! Not ready to go!

_Goodbye, Nora_ , my alter ego says. _This is the end of our conflicted friendship_.

_Goodbye, alter ego_ , I tell her. _I will miss you, somehow_...

Black robes billowing around him, Mortimer takes a branch from the pile at Gabriel's feet. Putting it in the fire, he waits until the end alights. Holding it high, he waves it in the evening for all to see. "Friends! Witness not only a dinner being served but a show being performed! I give you a _wizard_ burning!"

This joke is met with a tidal wave of mirth from the vampires. Unable to watch, I close my eyes. If only I could close my ears... Good news is soon I will be dead, too, so I won't have to live hearing Gabriel's screams in my nightmares. This is my lone comfort. For I've arrived at the end of the line.

"To the superior race!" Mortimer calls, holding the torch high. Then – slowly – he lowers it to the kindling at Gabriel's feet.

"Sire!" The cry of alarm comes from a sentinel tower. "Strangers in the forest! Releasers! Approaching fast!"

The vampire freezes, the lit end of his torch inches from the kindling. The kindling inches from Gabriel's knee. "Wizards!" Mortimer screams, tyrannical fury instant. "I hate fucking wizards! You!" he shoots at Gabriel. "This is your doing! No matter what happens, conjurer, you won't escape alive!"

Calm turquoise eyes reflect madly bright red ones. "You are mistaken, Mortimer," he says without missing a beat. "I did _not_ call wizards here, but they are here _because_ of me. They intend to hunt me down for a crime of passion," he explains, his gaze finding mine. "Give us to them, Mortimer, and you will be unharmed. My friends and I, on the other hand, will be lucky to escape with our lives."

Cackling, Mortimer throws his head back. "You – you expect me to let you go?" His voice is faltering with disbelief. "When I have you on my plate? No – you're not pulling that!" He turns to his followers. "Seamus, Amoretta – bar the gate. The rest of you into the towers! Let's see what we make of them!"

"I warn you _and_ your vampirical subjects," Gabriel begins, staring levelly at Mortimer, "if you don't do as I say, your home – all of this," he explains, gazing around the compound, "will turn to ash!"

The vampire's back is turned. Ignoring the wizard, he watches his followers bar the gate and charge up the sentinel towers, the thuds of their ascent resounding through the stockade. _Thud! Thud! Thud!_

"They are almost here, sire!"

Gabriel is impatient. "You _cannot_ defeat Releasers at long range," he tells Mortimer. "It's impossible. You have no means of defense! Your only attack is charging your enemy and you just locked yourself in here!"

"Shut up, wizard!" Mortimer cries, waving his torch threateningly.

Exiting the longhouse, Jack hurries into view. "Sire, I have an idea! The attackers are wizards and we have a wizard tied up! Let's do what we already did. Threaten to kill if they don't surrender their wands!"

"Genius!" Mortimer exclaims. "Excellent! I knew I bit you for a reason!"

Something hits the back of my stake. Blinking in the dying light, I try looking around. But I can't bend enough. Did somebody throw a rock? I mean – seriously – how low is that? I'm about to be burned alive and they're throwing rocks at me! How about human decency? Geez, that's right – they're not human.

"Ouch!" I yell as something strikes my finger.

The vampires don't hear. They're distracted.

"How do we stop them?" Mortimer asks his second in command. "In order to say we have a wizard?"

A pause.

"White flag?" Jack suggests.

Mortimer says, "I don't think we have a white fla –"

"Sumio decimate!"

The right side palisade wall explodes in roaring smoke and rocketing timber. Hands over my head, I duck to avoid the debris. Then I realize. I'm free! Turning around, I see enormous amber eyes staring up at me from behind. The owl is perched on the kindling and looking extremely expectant.

"Oh – right!" I say to Merrifeather. I hasten to undo the others' bonds.

"Vampires to me!" Mortimer is screaming. "Vampires to me! Get down here from those towers, fools!"

I understand why he's frightened. The curse blew an enormous hole in the palisade wall – a hole large enough to walk through – and now Mortimer is alone in the stockade's courtyard except for...

Jack is sprinting to the hole in the palisade. Dodging vampires fleeing the towers into the parade ground, he squeezes through the hole into the forest on the other side. Where's he going? He's getting away!

"I'm after him!" Gabriel yells as I free him. "Jack knows who the Newborn is – we can't lose him, Nora!"

"No!" Wolf barks, newly freed. "Stay, Gabriel! Protect Nora! I'll get him!"

There's no room for argument because Wolf is already running after the vampire. Jumping high in the air, he lands on paws – not hands. Speed doubling with additional legs, Wolf leaps through the hole and out of sight.

Now it's Gabriel, me, and Merrifeather against ten angry vampires. They approach us, their bright eyes narrowing into slits and their teeth hungry. Mortimer's in front. "I warned you, conjurer," he cackles, "you would not escape with your life! So nearly saved!" He charges Gabriel, teeth bared and bloody.

"Sumio decimate!"

The palisade wall on the left explodes into the evening – pieces of it flying high and far. "Sumio decimate!" Splintering amid billowing smoke and cracking wood, a sentinel tower begins collapsing outward. "Sumio torgi!" The remaining tower bursts into flames, tearing the sky with screams.

Dodging flying wood and timber, Mortimer misses Gabriel. Screeching like a rabid creature, Merri flies for his head. I know what's coming! So – it seems – does the vampire, for he covers his eyes with his arm. Merri collides with the side of his robes and takes off again, this time over Gabriel.

Who catches his wand.

"Nora!" Gabriel shouts. "We have to run for it!"

I don't need telling twice. Punching a vampire in the face, I speed in the direction of exploded palisade. Gabriel is right behind me.

"Stop them! Stop them!" Mortimer cries. But soon he's distracted.

A voice yells, "Sumio torgi!"

The longhouse bursts into flame. "No! Put it out!" Mortimer is screaming. "Put it out! Put that fire out! Put it out!"

We are out.

Through the hole in the palisade wall and in the forest, we are surrounded by trees. Merrifeather lands on Gabriel's arm but quickly launches again as we hurry through the forest, away from the flaming, ash ridden stockade.

"Gab –"

"There they go!" A voice is shouting in the distance. "Kellan! I found them!"

Swiping his blond hair to the side of his forehead, Gabriel stares me dead in the eyes, the turquoise of his own unflinching. "We have to run," he says, "I can't fight _two_ Releasers. Try and dodge their spells. Run!"

We hurtle through the forest at a breakneck speed.

"You knew they'd find us!" I gasp at the wizard. "How?"

Gabriel keeps pace. "Magic, of course!" he exhales. "The Puridites have magical monitors in place to recognize when a wizard and Immag have been intimate. It's a complete invasion of privacy!"

I can't help it. I have to ask. "What will they do to us?"

"Nothing positive!" Gabriel gasps. "Faster!"

We are flying over the loam, our feet hitting the dirt and Merri flapping above.

Gabriel's ivory robes catch on a branch. He pulls but they don't budge. The owl hoots a warning. Discarding his robes, Gabriel grabs my arm and we continue forward. Looking like two Immags.

Amber eyes are swiveling backward. Merri hoots again, louder and more insistent.

I can't help it. I look back. Oh no! Oh no!

"I see them!" I gasp at my wizard. "They're coming!" My voice is stricken with fear. "What do we do?"

His hand in my back, my wizard pushes me forward. "Run faster! We _must_ stay out of firing range, Nora!"

A voice from behind yells, "Nullify!"

Zapping purple light misses Gabriel by inches. "Duck!" We throw ourselves down. Gabriel aims his wand. "Decimate!" The shooting red light misses one of the charging wizards. "Run!"

We're off. Sprinting through the woods.

* * *

From danger to danger is the only transition we seem to make. Trouble is I know what's at stake now. A life of dreams is so close I feel it. A life with Gabriel White as my husband. A life with the possibility of a child. A wondrous life. A fantastic life. A beautiful life. A life where I learn the meaning of magic.

A _happy_ life is at stake.

In order to have it – in order to live it – we must survive. We must escape our trackers. Problems abound. Our hunters are Gabriel's equals this time. Wizards – Releasers of the Bureau of Beast Control – and there's two of them and one of him. Despite me and Merri, Gabriel can't take them both.

There is one solution.

To run!

"Nullify!" The purple light misses me. "Nullify!"

Throwing myself forward, I pound my weary limbs. Come on! I have to run! Stick with me here! I feel the wizards gaining from behind. Their curses are coming more frequently and more accurately.

"Torgi!" A tree in front of me bursts into flames.

Screaming, I hurtle away from it. "Wrong way!" Gabriel yells, stopping short. "This way, Nora! Run!"

But the lapse is enough to aim one more curse at us. The shout comes from behind. "Annihilate!"

I turn in time to see white light leave the wand. As it's shooting right for me, I hear Gabriel's voice in my head. _Remember this just in case: You can come back from the purple light in good health. But red and white are serious. Especially white. If you see the bright white light, death is near._

White light is speeding at me. Then it's blocked out by white.

It's over. I know I'm dead. I can't have survived. Not the white light – not Annihilate – the kill curse. Soon I will drift into bliss... Feeling a breeze against my face, I realize my eyes are closed. I open them.

Merrifeather is lying on the ground by my feet.

Dead.

Two wizards are staring at me. Dressed in robes. Their expressions stunned.

"No!" Gabriel screams, his voice agony itself. "Not Merri! Not Merri!" He's beside me, his wand pointing at the wizards.

"Put down your wand!" orders one of the Releasers. "You're under arrest!"

Gabriel's wand is shaking. His face inhuman. "Annihilate!" White light explodes from the end of his wand and hits one of the wizards square in the chest. Nothing happens. Then the wizard falls forward.

The remaining Releaser shouts, "Decimate!"

Gabriel is lifted from his feet and thrown into the air. Missing the burning tree, he smashes to the ground, his wand spinning away. He either doesn't notice or care his wand is gone. Instead, he dashes to Merrifeather and – picking up her lifeless form – cradles her in his arms like a baby. Tears are falling onto feathers, making white plumage glisten like stars in the pressing night.

I'm shaking all over. This can't be happening. None of it. I don't believe it. Merri. Dead. Gabriel. Lost his mind with grief. I'm defenseless. At the mercy of a Puridite Releaser. An unknown wizard.

The Releaser is kneeling beside his fallen comrade. Murmuring something I can't hear under his breath, he closes the wizard's eyes. Standing, he's ungainly, but points his wand at Gabriel resolutely.

"You," he begins, voice so hoarse he has to clear it before resuming, "you will stand, Gabriel White."

Gabriel continues cradling Merrifeather, ears unhearing.

"Stand!" The order is sharper and louder this time.

Limbs shaking – tear soaked turquoise eyes staring down at his owl – Gabriel stands up. He does not look at his fellow wizard. Nor does he acknowledge him any further. Instead, he continues petting Merri's gorgeous white plumage. Refusing to believe those huge amber eyes have closed. Forever.

On the ground, I see something that looks like a compass. I pick it up. A Vampass. Must have rolled from the Releaser's pocket when he fell. Opening the device, I see the familiar, sharp-toothed needle swinging around everywhere. Until it comes to a stop pointing behind me. Strange.

"Look at me, Gabriel," the Releaser orders. "Look at me!"

Finally, Gabriel looks up, the turquoise of his eyes sodden. "You killed my best friend," he says quietly.

The Releaser talks over him. "You share my profession, Gabriel White," he says, his voice loud and serious. "I know the Bureau of Beast Control assigned you to Washington. Being a Releaser yourself, you can be expected to know our code and our license. We have a license to kill, maim, and torture sub Purids. And _wizards_ who have committed murder against a fellow wizard!"

I don't like where this is going. Not at all.

"Kellan and I were assigned to find you," the Releaser continues. "It came to light at the Bureau you were engaging in sexual relations with an Immagical. Upon investigation here," he adds, looking at me, "I recognize that's _not_ the case. That charge is dropped. But now you're charged with murdering a fellow wizard. So – by lawful permission with the license granted me by the Bureau of Magic's Bureau of Beast Control – I am going to execute you. Gabriel White, you are being executed for the murder of Kellan Wiley. May peace find your soul!"

The Releaser raises his wand. "Anni –"

It rips from inside me.

An unrestrained fury.

And an unrelenting thirst.

Gabriel saved my life once. I must save his.

Dropping the Vampass, I throw myself on the Releaser and sink my teeth into his throat. He screams, dropping his wand. Blood pours from his throat, drenching both of us and finding its way to my mouth.

It's so, _so_ delicious!

So incredibly tasty!

And I'm so hungry! Like I haven't eaten in years.

Next thing I know the Releaser is writhing on the ground, clutching his throat and yowling in pain as though poisoned. I awake in my own body, realizing what I've done. Turning, I stare into Gabriel's face.

Fucking shitballs!

A stampede of disbelief is running across his features, his expression incredibly aghast. Oh no! Oh no! I can't believe I did that! Can't believe this is happening to me! Can't believe any of it!

But I do believe it.

And Gabriel will have to.

I told Jack my blood tastes good. _I would know..._

Gabriel is stunned. Disbelieving. Shell-shocked all the way to his core. Annihilated. "You _can't_ be," he says quietly, turquoise eyes never leaving mine. "Your eyes. Your smell. They – they aren't..."

"Vampire," I breathe.

I think somewhere – extremely deep down – I've always known. Since I arrived at Evergreen. The knowledge grew closer with every meal I skipped and every second of pained nausea I experienced, till the lone ingredient making me hungry became blood – whether on sheets or in a dream or anywhere – didn't matter. _Doesn't_ matter.

"The Vampass," Gabriel states. "Broken. Both of them."

I realize aloud, "These aren't my real eyes." Lifting my fingers, I swipe out my contacts – both of them. Blurring my vision.

Gabriel gasps.

I know what he's seeing. The strange, luminous brightness of my eyes. The brightness I first noticed a week or two before school began. That must have been when Jack bit me. I have no memory of his attack.

"Perfume," I explain to Gabriel's incredulous gaze. "It covered my scent. Gabriel, I'm not even an Immag!" I'm wiping blood from my mouth. "That's why he said they got it wrong. I'm _not_ an Immag! I'm a vampire!"

A long pause.

A longer pause.

An extremely long pause.

Part of me can't believe I'm a vampire. Part of me can. Both halves are hoping Gabriel will accept me. That he will realize not all vampires are evil, parasitical creatures that must be destroyed. All of them. The men. The women. The children. Because I need Gabriel. I need him because I love him.

At long last, Gabriel puts Merri's body to rest in the loam. Standing tall, he looks at me. "Run," he tells me.

I'm staring. "What?"

"Run," he says, louder this time. " _You_ are the Newborn. _I_ am a Releaser."

This isn't happening. Can't be happening. It's madness brought on by grief for his owl. Gabriel can't kill me! Of course he can't! Can he? Panic is filling my every pore, soaking me with adrenaline.

My tears are stronger. "Gabriel, I –"

"Run!" Searching around the smoldering tree, he finds his wand. He aims it at me, the turquoise of his eyes blotching red with tears. "You get a ten minute head start," he says to me, "then I'm hunting you."

"It's me, Gabriel!" I scream at him. I can't keep the tears back. Great huge drops are falling to my cheeks. "It's Nora! Your Nora! You can't kill me! You said you would never stop loving me!"

Turquoise eyes glisten and I realize he's crying anew. "I – I did," he gasps. "But you're not you! You're one of them! One of my archenemies!" He wipes his tears resolutely. "I – I can't love a vampire!"

I'm shaking my head. No. This isn't happening. Can't be happening. Not to me! It's a nightmare. "Gabriel, please!"

"Run!" Gabriel screams in my face, his wand held high. "Run from me before I kill you! Run! Run!"

So I run.

For my life.

Or from it.

I can't tell.

But I run.

* * *

Weeping uncontrollably, I run through the trees. My tears are endless, drenching me. I run and run and run. Never looking back. Doing my best to avoid obstacles despite my blurred vision. I can't believe any of this happened. _Is_ happening. The pain is too much. Too much for me to handle.

For I know now. I understand the truth. The life I dreamed us having is impossible. Always has been. Gabriel can't love a vampire let alone marry her. Even if I'm carrying his unborn child. Getting into Magasant School of Magic – a pipe dream from the beginning – will never happen now. Even though I can do – and _did_ – some magic. I would need Gabriel's blessing. Despite the magical moments Gabriel could have given me, none of it boils down to the cold, hard truth.

The spell that hurts the most is his love.

No charm will heal me from its loss.

I know that now. Always will.

My feet pound earth as I run. My breath is coming in rasps and I'm clutching a stitch in my side. I have to stop. I'm exhausted. Emotionally and physically. Emotionally, mostly. Coming to a halt, I breathe the forest air.

Geez, that Releaser tasted good. Wish I could have finished him.

Will Gabriel finish _me_? Can he murder somebody he loved? _Loves_... I can't know. Can't begin to answer the question. I dearly hope he can't. Supposing he can... I need to get moving again!

It comes.

A sound crashing through the forest behind me. No! Don't kill me, Gabriel!

Charging forward, I bolt around trees and over bushes. No curses issue forth – no purple, no red, and most thankfully, no white. Despite this, I hear my tracker gaining speed behind me, his movements growing louder with each passing second. Not daring to look around, I throw on an extra burst of speed. I'm sprinting now. Running for my life. I can make it! I can make it! I can –!

Hands grab me around the middle.

"No!" I scream. "Please don't kill me!"

I'm whirled around by my chaser. "Nora!" Wolf exclaims, his bark turning to a laugh. "I lost Jack but I'm glad I found you! I would never dream of killing..." His words trail off, dropped by an astonished russet face. Black eyes are staring into mine, tearful and luminous in the failing light.

Closing bright eyes, I wait for it.

I can't escape him. I'm caught in his muscular grip. At his mercy. Will he kill me? Werewolves, too, are the mortal enemy of vampires. But they only kill vampires when the vampire has killed a... Oh no! I've done it! The deed! The future of my life is in Wolf's hands. Literally.

Full maroon lips open wide, revealing sharp teeth. "Run..."

## Preview of AWAY WITH ME
"Away with me."

Holy geez...

I'm staring at him.

Through blurred vision.

Russet hands still grasping me.

"What?" I ask in disbelief. He can't have – _couldn't_ have meant what he just said. Not Wolf – not after Gabriel... well, not after Gabriel reacted how he did. I must have misheard him. Must have. There's no other explanation. "What?" I ask again.

"Run away with me!" Wolf repeats, black eyes alight, his cheeks burning. "Before he finds you. He's not going to like this!"

"Who?" I gasp, knowing the answer.

Releasing me, Wolf takes a step back. "The wizard," he answers. "Gabriel can't know you've... _Turned_." He utters this last word with anguish.

My brain is racing madly. Should I tell the werewolf I had already talked to Gabriel? That the wizard already rejected me outright? _No_... I can't, that would only make the situation so much worse. For what if Wolf were to change his mind? What if Wolf, upon hearing about Gabriel's reaction, decided to react the same way? Decided to reject me or – so terrible to imagine it – _kill_ me?

Black eyes are boring into me. "Who bit you?"

I'm staring back blankly, my recent tears making the skin around my eyes hard and irritated. "I don't –"

Wolf growls, "It was Amoretta, wasn't it? Or was it Mortimer?" Fury is coarsing through his veins. "Why I'll –!"

"No!" I exclaim wildly. "It... it was Jack, Wolf. It was Jack!"

Black eyes grow wide. "Jack?" Surprise is registering across a russet face, replacing his sudden anger. "You mean..."

"Yes," I tell him, unsure of what I'm confirming. "It was Jack who bit me..."

Geez, I've never seen his eyes so wide.

"Nora, I – I'm so sorry," Wolf tells me, his entire form deflating in front of me as his eyes search for mercy. "This is all _my_ fault! I lost Jack... I was certain he was trying to escape. I didn't know he was still looking for victims! I figured he was just trying to escape those wizards..."

His words trail off, his ears no doubt hearing the excuses, the self-justifying tone of his explanation. He's left staring at me, looking as forlorn as I've ever seen him, but I'm too distracted to feel sorry for him.

For I realize what he's saying. Wolf thinks I've been changed _recently_ – not months and months ago, long before he knew me. I have an opportunity now to tell him the truth. How would he react? Not well, I imagine. I think back to when the werewolf and I were in The Mousetrap. He seemed angry that I'd kept Gabriel a secret, even though we'd discussed wizards. Should I learn from that mistake? But if he'd witnessed the scene with me and Gabriel. _And_ seen me murder that Releaser...

_Hey, like being alive?_ my alter ego asks. _If you do, shut your trap!_

_Gotcha_ , I reply.

I meet Wolf's eyes. "It's okay," I say to the werewolf. "You _tried_ to get Jack – tried to track him down. Gabriel and I got separated and then Jack came and had his way with me," I invent hurriedly, too far in to turn back. Strangely, I'm spurred by the shock in Wolf's eyes as I go on. "Jack left me on the ground to turn and ran off. I haven't seen him or Gabriel since the attack."

Wolf collapses to his knees. Horror spilling from every pore to cover his russet face in a wild sheen, he looks up at me, dark eyes pleading as he clasps my hands. "Forgive me, Nora," Wolf moans, his face sinking. "I – _I_ can't believe you were raped _and_ changed! This is all my fault, look what I've done by letting Jack escape! I can never live with myself after this, Nora. I'm a failure!"

Oh geez! Now look what _I've_ done. My lies are already biting me in the ass.

"Stand up, Wolf," I say quickly, blushing madly as I look around the surrounding loam. "It's okay – I already told you that. It's not your fault Jack – uh – raped and bit me. I mean, Gabriel wasn't there either!"

Bizarre as it sounds, it feels good to get back at the wizard. Even in a way as infinitesimal as this. I will take that wizard down, one lame, irrelevant white lie at a time until I have my revenge!

Shaking his head, Wolf stands, towering over me. "It all makes sense," the werewolf remarks, his eyes glistening as he stares into me – his expression drenched in agony. "I saw you were changed, but I didn't understand the tears... Nora, I'm going to _murder_ Jack for what he did to you! I promise!"

The vehemence in his words surprise me so much I take a step back. But I'm pleased all the same. This is good. Wolf is so furious about my being raped that he won't think about the vampire thing as much now. That was some pretty big news _until_ the bigger news came of my being ravaged by Jack.

"I know you will," I respond, trying my best to look downtrodden and victimized. Secretly, I'm whooping inside. Now I don't have to worry about Wolf killing me! And Jack shouldn't prove any trouble later, for he _did_ ravage me... in a way. A long time ago. "I know you'll bring Jack to justice."

The werewolf is murderous. "It'll be a painful death for him!"

I'm about to respond when I hear something. A voice in the distance: "Find them! Bring me the wizard!" The voice is loud and booming, the kind that instantly demands authority, and I recognize it at once.

"Mortimer," Wolf breathes, his expression deadly.

"The scent of werewolf," another one yells, closer this time – a male. "Just picked it up, sire! They're this way!"

I gasp the forest air as Mortimer yells, "After them! They've ruined our home! Bite them! Kill them!"

I'm gazing into a stony russet face. "We have to run, Wolf!"

"I just promised you revenge."

Stealing myself, I reach out and take his hand. "Not now. Not yet. There's too many of them, they'd overrun you. I want revenge against Jack, I _really_ do, but not in exchange for your life!" Black eyes bore into mine, looking for judgment. I breathe, "Run away with me."

"I see them!" yells a voice.

Whirling around, I see Seamus – the young male vampire I'd seen at the compound – pointing at us from fifty yards away.

He yells, "They're here, they're here! Sire! Amoretta! They're here!"

Now _my_ eyes are pleading. "Run away with me!"

Wolf exhales his answer. "Fine then."

We run for it.
