 
Purified with Own Blood

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By Hiranya Borah

Copyright 2019 Hiranya Borah

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Preface

It is a fictitious supernatural story of the protagonist who transformed from a devil to an empowered man chosen by the Mother Goddess to do something for the mankind, environment and for the animal kingdom. It is an inspirational story for those persons who have dark pasts but want to become good persons leaving behind their past misdeeds.

I am thankful to my readers and family members for their support to write something. The girl taken from the Google is a representative picture only. I am thankful to Google, Pinterest, the original photographer, the cute girl and her parents for using the photograph.

I take the opportunity to thank Smashwords for publishing the book in their platform.

Author
Chapter I: Bullet Ridden Body

He has a habit from his early days to come to the class as a student and to the office as an officer before time. He is known as an early bird for any meeting and for any event. On that day also, he came to his office at around 8-30 AM much before his official time at 9 AM. As he got down from his car, a young man of around 25 approached him and asked him politely, 'Sir, are you Mr. Varun Saxena?'

'Yes.' With his usual smile he replied.

Before Saxena could realize anything, the young man whipped out a revolver and pumped three bullets in the chest of Saxena and fled in a waiting Maruti Ertega. Saxena collapsed immediately without even uttering an 'oof'. The CISF (Central Industrial Security Force) personnel standing at the entrance of the building also could not react to save Saxena from the barrage of bullets as the incident took place so suddenly and unexpectedly, but they transmitted the message of the attempted murder and arranged a vehicle to take him to the trauma centre of AIIMS (All India Institute of Medical Science), only three KM away from the office premises.

As his bullet ridden body reached at the trauma centre located on the ring road of Delhi near to original AIIMS premises, the attending doctors thought, Saxena was brought dead. But a close look at the bullet ridden body, the doctors realized, he was not dead, though very feeble, his respiratory system was still working.

He was immediately transferred to the intensive care unit and started their treatment. Blood was infused in number of bottles as it was a case of heavy blood loss alongwith puncturing of vital organs due to point blank range firing by the assailants. For the next few hours top level doctors were busy to stop the blood loss and conducted few emergency operations to save the life of Mr. Varun Saxena, a very senior officer of Government of India and an established English writer. Attending doctors tried their best to save the life of Saxena though they were not very optimistic. Some of them were even surprised to see Saxena alive for so long. But how long?

The boy who pumped three bullets in the bosom of Saxena was caught within an hour. Anupam, the assailant, was not a professional killer. In fact, he used a revolver for the first time in his life and was an unemployed youth preparing for competitive examination for a job. He was helped by a friend who was also not a professional criminal, but always inspired by Bollywood movie to do something exciting. Anupam tried to kill Saxena because he felt that his girlfriend of five years was going to dump him in favour of Mr. Saxena, who was twice the age of his girlfriend. When he was asked what the basis of his insecure feeling was, he replied to the investing police officer that, Saxena was known for his ability to lure young girls to his arms. In the recent times, his girlfriend was seen hobnobbing with Mr. Saxena. According to him, when he confronted his girlfriend about her relation with Saxena, she was evasive in her answer.

However, from this point onwards, I shall neither write about the medical treatment on Mr. Saxena nor the police case regarding the attempt to murder Saxena. I shall try to depict what happened to semi-conscious Saxena, not as a patient but at his spiritual level. One can argue with me that it was a story of hallucination only. May be their arguments are correct; because when we are physically weak or mentally weak or both physically and mentally weak, we may be become the prey of hallucination. But I shall, describe it as an act of supernatural power, a power which cannot be explained rationally. Many philosophers argue that where rationality ends, from there onwards spirituality starts. Whatever, may be the truth, I am only presenting here the aftermath of attempt to murder Mr. Saxena and his spiritual transformation in the subsequent chapters.
Chapter II: The visit of a small girl

As Mr. Saxena was lying on the hospital bed like a motionless dead body, his brain and mind were active like any other workaholic man in an office. Still he was thinking after release from the hospital how he would handle the complicated files those might be piling on his table. He was blaming his subordinates for not doing anything at their level who, according to him, only push their files to him. He was little bit angry with the attending doctors also for not releasing him from the hospital by removing the different apparatus fitted all over his body. He wanted to scold the attending doctors. But before he could scold any of them, they left the room discussing something with their gloomy faces but which was in-audible to him. He was little bit angry on callousness in their approach towards a person who was supposed to attend office as soon as possible to clear some important files.

As the doctors were leaving, a heavily built nurse came to his room with a gloomy face. Saxena wanted to talk with her and screamed at her to call the senior most doctor to say something important. But the nurse ignored his scream as if she did not hear him or she did not care to hear him. Saxena became very angry, but she left the room without giving a damn care to his scream and his anger.

Helpless Saxena, tried to cool down his temper with a sound sleep for some time. But this time a small girl came to his room with a smile which he was missing for a long time- he last saw that beautiful smile in his mother's face long time back when he was breast fed by his mother for the last time at an age of two and a half.

The young girl of around eight came straight to him and touched his head and asked Mr. Saxena, 'Are you feeling some peace in your mind at my touch?'

'Yes dear. Now I am free from all anxiety of life. I am feeling something which I never experienced in my entire life. Do you know me? Why you have come to my room? Where are your parents? Will they not worry for not seeing you around?' Saxena asked many questions to the young smiling girl.

'Every child is happy whenever they are with their mothers. I am your mother.' The young girl replied.

'How it can be? You are too young to be my mother. Further, my mother has left me more than a decade ago.' Saxena was puzzled with the remarks made by the little adoring girl.

With that heavenly smile, the little girl replied, 'Yes, I am your mother. I am mother of your mother also. I am mother of all the persons who are alive and dead long back. I am older than the oceans and younger than the flower blooming in your gardens. I was never born and I am not going die either. Because I am the eternity, I am the time.' Her smiling reply only puzzled Mr. Saxena more and more.

Looking at his puzzled look, the young girl told Mr. Saxena, 'Do not waste your time and efforts to understand what I have said just now. Even the wisest person could not understand me and my words. But listen to me and follow my words meticulously.' She stopped there.

'I have chosen you to do something for the people, for all the moving and non-moving creature on the mother earth, for the air, for the rivers and for the hills; in a sense for everything around you. But can a person with so much impure blood do something good for others. So I had sent a boy to flush out your bad blood and infuse some good blood by the doctors in your body. You may have a doubt, with a past of doing all sorts of nonsense, why I have chosen you for doing some noble works in the near future. In a nutshell let me explain, why I have selected you for my works. Because still I find your heart is better than many of the other fellows. Still you are brave enough to do some good things going against the popular wave of doing some bad things by the mass. You have never cheated anyone except those who deserve to be cheated, and you never backstabbed anyone, no matter how much damage they had done to you and your family. You always respect social values sacrificing many things in your life of few decades.' She stopped there.

'OK, you think about your past deeds and repent for all the misdeeds in your life so that your mind is also purified alongwith your body. I shall come tomorrow and if you are ready to take the responsibility, I am going to assign to you.' Saying those sentence the young girl went out of the room with a peculiar dance which he remembered to see in his sister's dance a few decades ago.
Chapter III: Varun Saxena and His Philosophy of Life

There is no good man or a bad man in this world, Mr. Saxena always used to say before his friends and readers of his books. His philosophy of life may be described in the following few paragraphs:

How you build your image over the time makes you a good or bad person in the eyes of a group of people who matters to you.

Same person can be good for someone and bad person for someone else. However, the following qualities can be seen objectively in a person up to a great extent:

1. Intelligence and dumbness

2. Physical strength and weakness

3. Efficiency and inefficiency in a particular field

4. Winning and losing in any sports/ battle/ election

5. Cleverness and foolishness

6. Light and darkness

7. Rich and Poor

And so on.

We all agree some people are born smart and some become smart due to circumstances. If we analyse the activities of a person objectively, we can put him in the smartness ladder amongst a group of similarly placed persons.

Considering the indicators as stated above, even in my view, Mr. Varun Saxena is a born smart person and academically he is the brightest one among all the first cousins though because of generation gaps his results may not be the best one if only absolute marks are considered. However, if relative marks are adjusted to the generation gaps, he had the best results in all the common examinations appeared by him and his first cousins. Some of his younger cousins were able to do better results, but all of them agree that his academic achievements are unmatched with any of them.

Mr. Varun Saxena has another reputation, he is having an excellent character so far women (and men) are concerned. But a very few cousins and his own brother know that Varun is a Devil in the disguise of an angel. There lies his philosophy of his life, how you build your image over the time makes you a good or bad person in the eyes of a group of people who matters to you.

Mr. Varun Varun was born to a rich farmer's family five and a half decades ago in a remote village of North India. He was born after his elder brother Pradeep to his ailing mother, Radha. His parents were not as happy as they were at the time of his elder brother's birth nor at the birth of his only sister, seven years younger than him. He was brought up with neglect and disdain compared to other siblings which made him a man with the quality of a leopard, revengeful, cunning, secretive and patient to wait for the right moment to strike. Varun has always been like a clever leopard, who can kill his prey through ambush and climb any tree with ease. Literally, he can see from the top of a tree, all the possible move of his opponent and plan accordingly. He tries to avoid confrontation when his position is not strong and wait for the opportunity when his opponent drops his guard. He is nothing but a wily fox, who can read between the lines very easily.

In due course of time, he became a senior officer of Government of India after clearing UPSC to the surprise of his close family, but not to the surprise of the persons who knew him from his early days. His other siblings were also able to crack some examinations which fetch them some Government jobs, much below to the rank of Varun. His elder brother became a Higher Secondary school teacher and his sister became a school teacher.

Over the time, Varun developed a complex personality which can be described in the following lines.

Varun is a man to be relied upon as a friend and as a foe never to be underestimated.

He is known for his helpful attitude and he can help even at the cost of his own interest.

He always respects social norms with utmost diligence.

Varun is also by heart a god fearing man and always praise the Almighty for his success and never blames God for his failures as he thinks, the God always gives him less punishment for his misdeeds.

He never forces any lady to sleep with him and never ever tries to have sex with any lady with having any relation, whether socially, emotionally or officially with him or with his near relatives and friends. Upto certain age he used to have even anal sex with some boys due to non-availability of young girls. But he stopped this practice once girls became available in abundance to him as he grew older. In other words, he is a bi-sexual man, but did not mind to go pink when he faces scarcity of opposite sex.

He takes hard drinks occasionally but was ready to have sex with any lady at any time except those ladies with whom he has any relation socially, emotionally or officially, even remotely as stated earlier.

He is a cunning man and his left hand does not know what his right hand is doing. Apparently he is very open, but keeps secret close to his heart.

In a single sentence, if Varun has to be explained, he is a man of different colours with equal number positive and negative qualities.

Like any other North Indian Boy, his marriage was also arranged by his father with a daughter of a Professor of Lucknow University, Debolina once he joined to the service. In his wife he got a passive partner but not a lover which he was aspiring for, in his youthful days before his marriage. His wife, contrary to his expectation was an inert girl who even does not know how to embrace her husband when he expects love and affection from his wife. But still he never misbehaved his wife for her passive role in love making, as he is always thankful to her for giving two wonderful kids as gift to him in his married life.

As a mother, Debolina could not take proper care of her children as she was, probably, never taught how to take care of children and husband by her parents. Therefore, Varun had to look after his children both as father and mother as well in all practical purposes. Debolina has another negative point, she is extremely short tempered and as a result of that she is also foulmouthed. Despite of all these negative points, Varun tried to carry on his married life without hurting the sentiment of his wife. He tried his best to be faithful to his wife though her response to him is always lukewarm. As a result of that, his tryst for meeting his true love enhanced over the time. To his credit, though he was dreaming to meet his dream girl, he never ditched his wife in his first twenty years of his married life, though he used to have relations with many young girls (boys in his early life) before his marriage.

As a result of unhappy married life and due to unfulfilled sexual desires, after twenty years of married life, he started looking for vulnerable ladies to full-fill his lust. In the process, Varun became a devil or in better words, a modern Casanova in due course of time after he became 45 plus.

Even though he was always after beautiful vulnerable ladies, a good human being is still living inside Varun all along to the surprise of many who knew the darker side of Varun. On his first night with a lady after he entered to his conjugal life with his inert wife few years ago, he decided to send at least ten percent of his salary to the orphanages, old-age homes and destitute homes. Till today he is honouring the decision he had made on that fateful day, religiously without omissions and commissions.

During a tour, when he was alone in a hotel room, Varun asked himself whether he was an incarnation of a modern Devil.

Why that thought had come to his mind?

As a child he heard many bed time stories where there was a devil whose youthfulness used to increase over the time and he used to spare all the persons who used to live within a distance of seven houses on all the sides. Varun's victims or preys are also not from his own office nor from his relatives nor from his friends relatives. So far youthfulness is concerned, when he was 13, he was attracted to the girls who were around 12-13. When he reached the age of 19, he was attracted to girls of the age of 17 and below. And now when he is 55, he has illicit relation with ladies in the age group of 20 to 35.

However, he knows the real reason for having young girlfriends by old people across the globe. No doubt, he always considers India is the only country for all his case studies.

When he was below thirty, his masculinity, with a muscular body with a height of 5'11'', might have attracted many ladies of his age towards him. But as he grew older, his income and both movable and immovable properties increased and that might be the reason of the attraction of the young ladies towards him. In Indian context, if your monthly income is around $1000/- (Rs.65,000/-), you can think of a lady for marriage or to make your girlfriend who is 5 years younger. If your monthly income is around $2000 (Rs.130,000/), you can think for a lady who is even 10 years younger than you and if your monthly income is more than $5000/- (Rs.325,000/), you can think for a lady of any age to make her your girlfriend (normally not a wife).

Therefore, having a girlfriend of 20 years is not a problem for Varun. But is it morally right? Is it not a character of a Devil?

While thinking about his devilish nature, he could not remember actually at what time he fell in deep sleep. But, his sleep was disturbed by a telephone call at around 2 AM.

'Hi darling, how are you? I am still waiting for your phone call to know your wellbeing. Are you that busy not to remember me? Or you are with some other bitch?' Varun heard a complaining voice of a lady from the other side.

'I am sorry, I went to a party and came back at 11-30 PM only. I thought you must have gone to sleep by that time. Do not worry darling, I could not find any lady for the night.' With a laugh Varun gave an excuse.

'How can I do that darling? I love you so much. Without your good night message, how can I go to sleep?'

'I am really sorry darling. Go to sleep now. Good night.'

'Good night darling. Sweet dream. I shall put a pillow between my legs thinking that you are with me.' Then she giggled.

After disconnecting the telephone, Varun told to himself, 'If I am Devil, there is no dearth of witches and bitches as well!'

The lady who called him on that night is a young wife of a businessman who mostly is on business tour across the globe enjoying the company of many ladies of different caste, creed, religion and nationality.

So long money is there, there is no dearth of Devils and witches (bitches) in this world. The husband of that young beautiful lady is always in hunt for new babes and therefore the young mother of two children is also looking for someone, who can give her both physical comfort and emotional support confidentially. For that, who will be better than Varun, the modern Devil of the high class society!
Chapter IV: Saxena Meets Jahnvi

In one of the numerous air travel to North Eastern state of Assam on official work, Mr. Varun Saxena met Dr. Jahnvi Saikia dramatically. At Guwahati airport, Jahnvi, a registrar of Guwahati medical college, took his bag accidentally thinking her own bag because of similarity of the two bags in their look. Not finding his bag, Varun complained at the desk of the airlines and they were able to locate the bag as Jahnvi's bag was still at the belt as an unclaimed one. She had to come back from Ajara, some five KM from the airport with a flushed face with some fear of accusation of soft lifting. As she re-entered to the airport, Varun fell in her love at the very first sight. His inner voice told him, 'She has not stolen your bag, but your heart, you old rascal. This is the lady for whom you have been waiting for almost the whole of your life. Do not let her go. She is your future.'

She apologized for the inconvenience Varun had to face for her mistake. As usual Varun retorted with a smile, 'I am very happy that my bag was stolen by a beautiful young lady. Otherwise it was not possible to meet you and talk to you; an extremely beautiful lady. Anyway, I am Varun Saxena, a babu of Government of India, posted in Delhi. I am on a tour to Guwahati.' His style of introduction amused Jahnvi. But she liked his style of introduction.

'Sir, I am Dr. Jahnvi, Jahnvi Saikia, registrar in Guwahati medical college.' Jahnvi introduced herself in straight words.

'Glad to meet you madam, a young beautiful lady doctor. Okay then, we shall meet again.' Saying that Varun moved towards the gate where some State Government officials were already standing with a bouquet of flowers to receive Varun.

'How you will go to the city?' Varun asked Jahnvi who was two steps behind him.

'Actually, I booked a taxi which I had to leave for my own mistake.' Jahnvi stammered.

'And you have to cough up the full booked amount. Is not it?' Varun asked her with a broad smile.

Jahnvi did not answer. 'Ok. Come with me. I shall drop you at your medical college.' Varun told the young lady.

'Sir it is not only my medical college, it is your medical college also.' She argued with a smile.

'Okay, I shall drop you at our medical college.'

'I shall not mind, but if you would not feel me as a burden on you. I have already given you sufficient trouble for the day.' She hesitated.

'Do not worry. It will be my pleasure. I shall be happy to have a company of a young lady for the next one hour or so, that too on Government cost. After all I am going at Government cost only not spending a single rupee on hiring of the vehicle.' Varun clarified.

As they got into the luxury car provided by the State Government, Jahnvi was surprised at her own feelings towards the old person. She was feeling an unknown attraction towards the old fellow.

When Jahnvi got down from the car, they could finish many talks and could not finish few on different topics and obviously they had exchanged their mobile numbers, email addresses and most probably, they have exchanged their hearts as well on the very first meeting.

That small accident made initially Varun, at that time 54 and Jahnvi at 31, a sort of friends within a very short time. At first they started talking over phone and then on every visit to Guwahati, Varun made a habit to meet her at some common public place. In due course of time, Varun fell deeply in love with the young doctor almost half of his age. But unfortunately, Jahnvi could not reciprocate similarly due to many social reasons.

After becoming little bit close, Jahnvi told about her life and her agony of life in one of their meetings.
Chapter V: Angst of Jahnvi

India is a country of full of hypocrites, may be like all other countries as well. What we say in public is far from what we perceive or what we follow in our private life away from public glare. According to Jahnvi, Assamese people are more hypocrites than even the rest of the country. She admitted that she may be wrong as her exposure to Assamese society is more than the other societies and therefore, she may be giving this comparative statement without sufficient knowledge on the subject.

In any case, I am sure, she was throwing a stone to a hornet's nest by opening her mind by using the earlier sentences. Her arguments are based on personal experiences in her life.

According to her, Assamese people boast that Assamese people are not casteists (not concerned about from which caste you are coming from). From her own experiences and from her family's experiences over the years, she found reality is complete different from that boasting statement by most of the Assamese people, particularly for the so called upper caste Assamese people. There is no record of arranged marriage of a boy from upper caste, marries a girl of lower caste in Assam as per her limited knowledge. However, reverse may be true and those parents of brides shamefully boasted that, 'We are not casteists. My daughter/sister had been married to Mr. so and so from so and so caste.' But reality is that they must have tried their best to get a good match for their daughters from the same caste. When they did not find a suitable boy, they go for a better employed groom rather than a lowly paid employed or an unemployed groom from the same caste. However, she did not give any real example for that mentality of the Assamese people though according to her, as most of the Assamese fathers of marriageable daughters have experienced this experience over the years. She admitted that many of the Assamese people will again not agree this particular point of view because of their inherent hypocritical attitude.

According to her, the second hypocritical statement is, Assamese people are not indulging dowry practice which is rampant in other parts of the country. Yes, in Assam it is done in a hush-hush way, not openly like other parts of India. To examine the veracity of her statement, she urged anyone to go to Guwahati and enquire from the families of the brides and she is sure, one will know the truth, if someone has the guts to admit the truth. Their language and tenor may be little different from a family of other parts of the country; but sum and substance of their statements will be same.

Third hypocritical statement is, Assamese people are not MCPs and they do not prefer for a male child. She suggested to go to the Namghars (religious place of the Vaishanavites) of every village in the month of Bhadra (September /October), where one can enjoy Prasad of at least one family who is offering Prasad with a prayer for their pregnant daughter or daughter in law to deliver a son, not a girl. Number of wife beaters will also be not less in Assam than any other states of India. She suggested to consult any NHFS (National Health and Family Survey conducted by Ministry of Health and Family Welfare through IIPS, Mumbai) for verifying her statement.

Fourth hypocritical statement is, Assamese people are very accommodative to the guests. That is completely over-estimation for the town and city people, though it may be somewhat true for the village people of Assam. It is nothing but a self-certification by some of the educated city people. If one is a regular visitor outside the state he will understand the veracity of this statement without any confusion.

Hindu Assamese, like any other Hindu of any parts of India have also developed the fear psychosis against the Muslims. But unlike in other parts of the country, Assamese Hindu people are torn between love for their mother tongue and religion. Losing majority as the largest linguistic group in Assam and losing homes in the hands of immigrant Muslims are the greatest nightmare for most of the Assamese Hindus. If the immigrant Muslims are ousted from Assam or they refuse to declare themselves as Assamese speaking people, Assamese will not be able to cross the fifty percent mark of linguistic people residing in Assam. Historically, Bengali Hindus will never call themselves as Assamese speaking people and because of that fear, two major conflicts had already taken place, one in 1960 (language movement) and 1974 (medium movement). In these two conflicts, many innocent people from the both sides lost their lives and properties. Unfortunately, Assam lost few brilliant students, from both the sides, in the blood bath in these two conflicts for language that had taken place. But in 1980-85 it turned out to be a more religious conflict than a linguistic conflict in the name Assam agitation against the illegal migrants from the erstwhile East Pakistan or from the Independent modern Bangladesh. From then onwards, Assamese Hindus started suffering from two fear psychosis, one for their religion and another for their language. As she told earlier, Assamese Hindus are vocal about love for their mother tongue but they are not open in airing their religious fear. They are always saying in a hush-hush voice within the four walls only about their religious fear.

According to her, another problem plagued the Assamese Psychosis fanned out by the electronic and other media, Assamese girls are sexually exploited by non-Assamese people. They never try to understand this problem arises out of poverty and nothing to do with the culture of a particular community or a creed. In the entire world, poor girls (in general all the poor people) are sexually exploited by the rich people. She put a pertinent question, 'If an Assamese rich person claims that he has f—ed girls from all community, all caste and religions across the globe, will Assamese society honour him with some awards like, Sher-e-Rustam or Chengeez Khan-e- Hind or something like that.'

Another problem also plagued Assamese people, they blame always others for every short comings of their own, instead of looking at their own backyard. For example, they blame central Government for not giving sufficient money for development. Varun being a senior Central Government Officer, also agreed to this point as he also knows how the state Government is either misusing the development funds or by not submitting the utilization certificates of the first instalment of the fund blocks subsequent release of funds for any Central Government Development schemes.

According to her, nepotism, at the highest level also harmed Assamese society for a long time. 'You scratch my back, I shall scratch your back' is another syndrome plaguing Assam for a pretty long time which never allows Assamese people to grow as world beater in any field. However, I must admit, Assam can contest with any world class corrupt state in corruption at every level of our daily life.

Why she was criticising the Assamese Hindu being herself an Assamese Hindu? As the story of Jahnvi and other sisters will unfold, you will understand why Assamese Hindu hypocrisy effected the life of Jahnvi more than once.

Further, personally she may like to see Assam as the number one state in India in all the fields of Development. She wants to see few world class Assamese writers, painters, scientists, musicians, sports persons instead of few crying baby journalists who see everywhere some plots against the Assamese people, a groups of hypocrites politicians and pseudo intellectuals who blow own trumpets, hiding all their misconducts and social evils under the carpet. She wants Assam should be free of nepotism in promoting real talents in all the fields.

Mr. Varun Saxena advised her not to tell her opinions to others, as he also realises over the years that Assamese people have another great quality, they show their bravery when they are in a group and always avoid any conflict when they are challenged by an equal number of people.
Chapter VI: Agony of Jahnvi

Now let me come back to the original story of the second protagonist, Jahnvi.

Dr. Jahnvi Saikia is the middle daughter of a retired primary school teacher, Tilak Saikia. Jahnvi's mother, Pubali is a typical Assamese house wife of a small village of upper Assam. The elderly couple has three daughters and one son. In all practical purposes, all the children of the couple are economically settled in their life.

As on today, Jahnvi's elder sister Kabita is a lecturer in a venture college with a meagre salary, living with her small time contractor husband Pabitra Borah, in a nearby town. She has two sons from their eight years' of married life. Her financial condition has not improved in the last eight years and she has been somewhat dependent on financial assistance from her father.

Her younger sister Yamanee is an engineer by profession, settled in Bangalore along with her husband and her one year old daughter. They have already purchased a three bed-room flat at Bangalore. Their financial condition, compared to her eldest sister, is far better and they normally visit their village once in a year. Saikia couple is very happy and proud of Yaminee for her education and subsequent employment. Her marriage at the right time also gave them peace of mind as parents.

The only brother of Jahnvi, Arup, is also an engineer by profession. Two years ago he married an American Gujarati girl. He has been in USA for the last five years continuously, for first one and a half years as a student and as an employee for the last three and a half years.

Financial condition of the family was not very good till Jahnvi joined as a registrar in the Government Medical College after her masters in medicine. She could have joined some private nursing homes or in a private medical college with a hefty salary. However, since her result was excellent, her teachers advised her to be a registrar in her own Government college at Guwahati though her salary was not that high compared to the offers made by the private colleges and private nursing homes situated in the same city.

As mentioned, Jahnvi was born to this teachers' family about three decades ago, unexpectedly and somewhat in an unwanted way like the other protagonist of the story, Mr. Varun Saxena. However, Jahnvi had faced more problems than Varun as an unwanted child. Jahnvi was born after the tragedy of a still born boy and ecstasy of a live birth of a baby-girl to her mother, Pubali. Therefore, she was not the child who honoured her parents to attain the coveted status of 'parents'. Her parents were not as happy as they were at the time of his elder sister's birth nor at the birth of her only brother, four years younger than her, naturally. Though at the birth of her younger sister, Yaminee, younger by two years, their parents were extremely unhappy; but once their only son Arup was blessed to the couple after two years, they treated Yaminee as the lucky mascot for the family. As a result of that Jahnvi, within a few years' time, became the most neglected child of the family. It is an example of Assamese hypocrisy of not having any preference for a male child.

Jahnvi's father, Tilak Saikia retired as a head master of a primary school. Jahnvi's family became rich as time passed and in particularly, once Jahnvi became a doctor and she started contributing to the family income. In the next few years, her family became one of the most educated family of that locality as her siblings also became highly qualified by any Indian standard. They constructed a large residential building and accumulated land property as Jahnvi started contributing regularly to the family income in the first five years of her service. Money makes money and following that apt statement, Saikia family started accumulating land property over the years. In fact, accumulation of property over the last few years helped the Saikia family to propel to the top ten rich family of the locality covering nearly fifty odd villages well before Arup went to USA for his higher studies.

Jahnvi inherited the legacy of having education in her blood from her forefathers of paternal side. Though, Jahnvi's grandfather from her maternal side, Badrinath Borah was a farmer, Jahnvi's grandfather from paternal side, Amulya Saikia was a primary school teacher. Even, her great grandfather from paternal side was also a teacher in the British era.

Despite of all good things about the lineage of Jahnvi Saikia from paternal side, Jahnvi Saikia had an exceptionally lopsided relation with her father, Tilak Saikia because of her father's ill-treatment towards her when she was very young. Jahnvi kept in her mind every humiliation and ill-treatment meted out by her father till today. But she was falling prey to their sentimental blackmailing and has to accede all their unreasonable demands over the last three decades without a whimper of protest. Sometimes, Jahnvi feels extremely unhappy about this situation and sometimes she becomes very angry on herself.

Probably, his father, Tilak Saikia, being a teacher of a high school should not have said to Jahnvi again and again even before she even reached class IV, that she was an unwanted child to the couple.

'My second daughter was forced on us by the Almighty as a burden to punish us for some sins committed from our side.' His second sentence was most damaging to the young Jahnvi, 'That is why she was born dumb, is a dumb and always will be a dumb and will remain a burden for us.' She started her life with an inferiority complex which she could not shake off despite of her success in academics and professional career even at the age of thirty one.

Still those words of humiliation of her father echoed in the ears of Dr. Jahnvi Saikia whenever she recalls her father in a closed room in the absence of any human being.

Despite of being an unwanted child, Jahnvi was probably a very few of the luckiest surviving girl children of rural India, who could survive even after suffering almost all types of killer diseases, a child can have before attaining one's adulthood.

Before crossing her fifth birthday, she had to fight for her survival against pneumonia and whooping cough.

Within the first month of her birth, she had to face her first battle of survival as she had suffered acute case of pneumonia. Her father did not want to spoil few hundred rupees on her by calling a doctor at that time as he did not want to spend money on recurring basis on an unwanted girl child. But her mother pleaded her husband to call a doctor to examine her ailing daughter of less than one month. Finally, unwillingly father called an LMP doctor, and luckily for Jahnvi, the LMP doctor was able to save Jahnvi's life with his outdated medical treatment. Probably on that day itself, Jahnvi had promised to herself, she has to give a good fight for her survival at each and every level. She had to defy all the odds in her life fighting almost single handedly. She started a journey, which no new born girl child would have liked to start, a journey on a path, full of thorns (torture, both physically and mentally).

Then, she suffered from whooping cough for a year or so. She cannot remember and nobody did care to tell her when she started to suffer from the disease, how long she had actually suffered and how she had come out of the pangs of that deadly disease. Probably it is for her luck or for her indomitable spirit, she was able to beat the disease.

Jahnvi became a veteran fighter of battle for her life against measles, chicken pox, mums and a few rounds of influenzas before she attains the age of 20. Oh, I forgot to tell you that Jahnvi was suffering from asthma also for few years before attaining her teen age.

At the age of 10, she was suffering from measles and nothing memorable had happened during that period except a forced rest for 21 days without facing any scolding and humiliation from anyone as in those days people of Assam thought measles and chicken pox are not diseases but some influences on the body due to entering of Mother goddess in a human body.

Similarly, when she was suffering from chicken pox, nothing memorable had happened to her and her family members for the same myths among the common people about the deadly disease.

But when she suffered from asthma due to over exposure to a cold night in a wedding of a closed relative from her father's side by her mother, she saw how her mother had to suffer for her. Not only she could not sleep properly at night for two and a half odd years but also she had to run one Ayurvedic doctor to another Homeopathic doctor to collect medicines for Jahnvi. Finally, Jahnvi recovered fully from asthma after two and a half years, thanks to the indomitable spirit of her mother.

During that period also, though he had done nothing positive for her, Tilak Saikia had beaten her several times for disturbing his sleep during the night. Tilak's advice to Jahnvi during those days echoes in her ears till today, 'Pray to God to get relief from the disease. Do not disturb others at night in their sleep.'

In the early years of life, she understood one thing precisely, she has to fight for her survival all alone. Then she decided to be independent in her decision making, never expect anything from others and dump all the emotions of life. Though that was a tough call for a girl of four-five years, she stood by her decision throughout her life, at least till she met Varun at the age of 31.

Just before, annual examination of ninth standard, Jahnvi was suffering from mums. All, except her mother advised her to drop the examination as she would have been promoted to class X even without appearing in the annual examination as she happened to be the first girl of the class. But her mother told her, 'if you ever loosen your grip from the first position, someone will take that position and you will have to appear in the final matriculation examination without the tag of being the first girl of the school.'

It is worth mentioning here that, Jahnvi had to fight an extremely grim battle to retain the first position in the class as she had to beat all the odds against her.

Though, Jahnvi stood first in all the annual examinations in her primary and high school level, she could not shake off her dumb sticker in the eyes of her family members led by her own parents. His elder sister who was two class senior to her was not able break the barrier of third position in her high school days. But in the eyes of her parents and her relatives, her elder sister was still much more intelligent than Jahnvi, as her elder sister's class was full of super intelligent boys and girls whereas Jahnvi's class was full of dumb boys and girls. So she was considered as the first among a bunch of dumb boys and girls of her class.

The elder sister and two of her super intelligent boys were able to get first division in their tenth examination conducted by the State Board. Jahnvi still remembers about the lavish party her father had thrown for the good result of her sister.

As advised by her mother she appeared in the class IX examination with lot of pain in her neck and ear lobes. Despite of her ill health, she was able to maintain her first position in the annual examination. After one year, she passed her board examination, with a huge difference of marks not only with her sister but with a percentage of marks which none of her seniors had ever earlier scored from her school.

When her elder sister Kabita passed her tenth examination with a mere first division, her father gave a lavish party inviting all the villagers and teachers of her school; but after two years, despite of the fact that Jahnvi broke all the records of her school, her father became stingy and distributed some sweets only to the visitors and did not throw any party at all. Naturally, Jahnvi was upset but none in the family cared for her sentiment.

However, the Principal of the school invited her to the school along with her parents to felicitate her on her exceptional result. Instead of being happy, Jahnvi's father Tilak Saikia scolded her with an excuse that, why she could not secure a rank despite of all the facilities Tilak Saikia had provided to her.

After two years in class XII examination, Jahnvi was able to secure a rank in the top ten students of the board and went on to be selected in Government Medical College. As she was a National Scholarship holder since she passed out her tenth examination, she had no problem in her studies as in the present day context, Saikia family has to spend very little on Jahnvi for her higher education.

You might be thinking that her parents finally agreed that Jahnvi was smarter and more intelligent than her elder sister, Kabita. Nay, they did not agree to that. According to them, she could do better result than her elder sister, because Jahnvi used to study more hours than her elder sister.

Jahnvi, preferred not to contest the argument of her parents and left to the people to decide whether she is intelligent or not.

The results of Yamanee and Arup were also not as good as that of Jahnvi. However, their results were also good enough to get into Government Engineering Colleges of the state. In due course of time, they also settled down in their life comfortably.

Though teachers and people of the entire locality always refer Jahnvi as the best student of the school and the locality in the last thirty odd years, she is seldom referred as a good student in her family. She is never praised for her academic excellence nor for her regular monetary contribution towards the family income. It is to be mentioned here that none of her other siblings have ever contributed to the Saikia family after their joining to their respective services over the years.

I have given you enough elaboration about the status of Jahnvi in her family despite of her better academic performance and her financial contribution to her family over the years compared to her siblings in the same period.

Jahnvi told about her two sisters and her only brother in details in some subsequent meetings.

Kabita is the eldest daughter of Saikia family. Naturally she was extremely pampered during her childhood. She was reasonably good girl in her studies and therefore, she was the sweetheart of her father. In due course of time, she became arrogant and developed a feeling that she is an extremely intelligent girl. Though her mother Pubali tried to rein her in her audacious approach towards other family members, particularly towards her younger siblings, due to over indulgence of her father, she remained a bully for her siblings in her early life.

Her relation with Jahnvi was like a princess and her ever obedient maid. Jahnvi was always in the receiving end whenever she refused to oblige some unreasonable demands by her elder sister. Kabita used to complain against Jahnvi on the slightest pretext to her ever indulging father. As Kabita always enjoyed whenever her father ridicules her sister Jahnvi in public, she used to complain about Jahnvi in presence of other people. To her satisfaction, father usually called Jahnvi to scold her in front of others. Kabita looked down upon her sister as a non-grata in her family till Jahnvi finally started staying in her quarters in Guwahati all alone, few hundred KMs away from her family.

When she passed her tenth examination, her father gave a lavish party inviting all the villagers and teachers of her school. As usual, Jahnvi was given all sundry works for attending guests to washing utensils of the party. All other family was rejoicing her result, except perhaps, Jahnvi who was humiliated by her father in front of the guests for a small mistake of breaking a glass while removing the empty glasses from the table.

Kabita became very unhappy after two years, when Jahnvi broke all the records of her school and as luck would have it, she could not secure a first division in her twelfth examination. But to her satisfaction, her father became stingy and distributed few sweets only to the guests who came to congratulate Jahnvi for her brilliant result. Naturally, Jahnvi was upset with her family but none in the family cared for her sentiment, and contrary to that, Kabita enjoyed the situation that hurt Jahnvi to the core.

However, again Kabita was extremely upset when the Principal of the school invited Jahnvi to the school along with her parents to felicitate her on her exceptional result. But her father rescued her from depression when instead of showing happiness for her stupendous result, Jahnvi's father Tilak Saikia scolded Jahnvi blaming her that, why she could not secure a rank despite of all the facilities Tilak Saikia had provided to her.

After two years, when Jahnvi was able to secure a rank in the top ten students of the board and went on to be selected in Government Medical College, Kabita's heart burn for her bete-noire was complete.

From that day onwards, Kabita had no alternative but to sulk at the success of her sister silently and lost her appetite for studies. She could manage to pass her graduation with a low score. Finally when she completed her masters she was sure that with her mark-sheet she would not be able to get a good job. Finally, she became a lecturer in a private college with a meager salary, which is nothing compared to the monthly salary of any of her younger siblings.

As already mentioned earlier, being a National Scholarship holder Jahnvi did not find much problem in her studies and could complete her medical course without any hiccup. In reality, Saikia family never bothered to know how Jahnvi had completed her studies. As a father Tilak Saikia did not spend any substantial amount of money on Jahnvi's higher education and therefore, Kabita was happy at least on that account. However, without having any family support, as Jahnvi was able to achieve one milestone after another one, gave many sleepless night to Kabita. Every praise for Jahnvi by a known or by an unknown person tears apart her heart. Unfortunately, as time passed except her father, none is ready to hear anything against Jahnvi, already established as a good and helpful young doctor who started ruling the hearts of most of the relatives of Saikia family and the poor people of her locality. Even those people who had to visit Guwahati for some serious treatment, became fan of Jahnvi because of her helping nature to the people of her locality. Kabita uses to fume internally whenever she is told how Jahnvi's help was handy during their visit for medical treatment at Guwahati. But she has to acknowledge those unsolicited good words for her sister.

Yaminee is a sweet and intelligent girl. She had a decent academic career and finally after her B. Tech from a Government Engineering College of Assam, settled for a job in an Indian MNC and left her home to settle down at Bangalore.

Her relation with Jahnvi, other than mother, was much better than the rest of the family. From her early years, she noticed one thing, despite of having all the good qualities by her middle sister, she was humiliated by her father at the drop of a hat. Even she could not understand why she had been scolded when her eldest sister Kabita committed some mistakes. She clearly remembers, when Kabita got a second division in her twelfth examination, instead of scolding her, her father preferred to scold her middle sister, Jahnvi. But there is an old saying, everyone wants to be associated with the winner, and following that old saying, Yaminee also never tried to be associated with Jahnvi expecting some reprisals from her father and Kabita, the most favoured daughter of their father.

However, once Jahnvi went to the medical college and subsequently joined the college as a registrar, Yaminee amended her relation with her. In due course of time, other than her mother, sometimes Jahnvi opens up her heart to her little sister. Slowly, they developed a bond which is common between two sisters of an Indian family.

During that period at Bangalore, she developed a romantic relation with a colleague who was also hailing from Assam. Incidentally, Yaminee confided first with Jahnvi about her relation with Varun and expectedly, Jahnvi did not discourage her relation with Varun. After one year of their romantic relation, Varun's father met Tilak Saikia with a marriage proposal which Tilak Saikia readily agreed.

Tilak Saikia informed Jahnvi at the last about the alliance of his youngest daughter. Probably he would not have even informed her, had he not needed a huge amount from Jahnvi for the car that was demanded indirectly by Varun's father. Reluctantly, Jahnvi agreed to pay all her savings for Yaminee's dowry (Another example of Assamese hypocrisy). Yaminee thanked her elder sister for her timely help but Tilak Saikia did not think Jahnvi deserved even a mere thank you for her unconditional help to save the marriage of her younger sister by paying a huge amount. Perhaps Tilak Saikia already identified Jahnvi as a mere milching cow for his family who can provide milk without any protest.

Like Yaminee, Arup also became an engineer and went to USA after clearing GRE for his masters. As he was already working for few years, he was able to save some amount of money for the course. But as that was not sufficient, he had to take a joint loan with his father for an amount of twenty lakh from a bank. However, he was still short of few lakh of Rupees. Then he requested all his elder sisters to help him out. But as usual, Kabita and Yaminee giving some excuses, refrained from giving a single rupee to their only brother.

Then finally, like earlier occasions, he looked at his middle sister Jahnvi. This time, Jahnvi told Arup, 'If anybody is not helping you, why should I?'

'Ba, try to understand, they have their own families. You are the only member of our family, who is in a position to help me. I shall remain grateful to you for my entire life.'

'You should also try to understand, I have been all along paying all of my savings since I had joined my service. Whatever savings I had, father took it at the time of Yaminee's marriage. As on today, I have no money at all.' Jahnvi told him her exact financial position.

'But, ba, you must have money in your GPF account. You can withdraw that amount.' Arup tried to remind about her the last amount she was having for her future.

'That is kept only for my emergency.' She argued.

'This is also an emergency.' Arup gave his counter arguments.

After some sentimental blackmailing, he was able to take all the money of GPF savings of Jahnvi.

After arranging his money, he left for USA. After completion of his masters, he joined an American company where she met a Gujarati Girl Gayatri, who happens to be an American citizen. After few months of parleying, they started dating and finally decided to tie the nuptial knot. Arup invited his parents to come over to USA and bless them on their marriage.

Though there was some reservation about the marriage, Arup convinced his parents that for him and for his career, how important to marry an American citizen. Further, he told that though she is an American citizen, she is an Indian origin girl and most importantly, she is also a Hindu.

Tilak Saikia unilaterally decided to attend the marriage along with his wife. They were excited to visit their son in USA. But there was a problem. Arup told his father that they have to bear the cost of the journey though he would arrange for their stay in USA which according to him will cost much more compared to journey cost.

When Tilak Saikia enquired about the cost of the air travel, he realized it would be a huge amount for the couple. Without wasting his time, he rushed to Jahnvi to place his demand to bear the cost of travel to USA.

Jahnvi sometimes thinks not having a father is always better than having a father like Tilak Saikia.

Pubali Saikia is a typical housewife of an Indian arrogant husband. She saw every day how their second daughter, Jahnvi was humiliated when she was young. Then how every day every drop of her blood was sucked by her greedy, father, sisters and brother. But she always preferred to keep mum in front of them. However, sometimes she used to tell her second daughter, 'If none on the earth helps you, God will help you so long you are good to others. If none loves you, you will be blessed by God so long you are good to others.' Her statement is two edged sword for Jahnvi. She has always to be helpful for the other family members then only God will help her and she should not expect love from anyone, at least from her family members even in future. However, the fact of the matter is that Jahnvi's moral was always boosted by her mother's statement like an oasis in a desert which is always thirsty for love.

Just one day before the departure of Arup to USA, she was thinking, 'is it right to suck blood from the ever obliging daughter Jahnvi? Should she ask Arup to return the amount once he finishes his studies?'

But she restrained from saying Arup to return the money. She did not want to sour his journey as Jahnvi also did not ask her brother to return her money. Then why she should interfere in favour of her daughter?

In all practical purposes, her life was neither full of happiness nor unhappiness. She was not happy for her husband's attitude towards her second daughter Jahnvi. But she could not muster the courage to speak up in favour of Jahnvi. She always kept mum while Jahnvi was humiliated publicly when she was young and when she was exploited financially, since she started earning. Pubali was happy that by any Indian standard, she is a very successful mother whose all four children are highly educated and except the eldest daughter all three are well settled also economically.

Pubali was basically an intelligent lady though she was less educated. Therefore, once she heard that Jahnvi was in love with an elderly married man in Varun, a very senior Government Servant and a very famous personality, she had a mixed reaction. She asked herself, 'will Jahnvi has the last laugh?'

Two years before Jahnvi's love affair with 'about to be dead Varun Saxena' became public, the inevitable showdown had taken place between Jahnvi and her father.

In one evening when Jahnvi opened the door in response to the sound of the calling bell, she saw her father was standing at her door. She understood, the old fellow must have come to meet her with another unreasonable demand.

Sitting on the sofa of the drawing room, without much ado, Tilak Saikia started, 'Perhaps you know, Arup is marrying a Gujarati girl staying in USA. He told us to come for the marriage. He will arrange our stay in USA but cannot provide air tickets for both of us. We do not know whether we shall get another chance to go to USA again. Therefore, we have decided to attend the marriage taking this opportunity to visit the country. I am coming here to tell you to arrange the air tickets for us.'

'Is he not sending air tickets for you? For two tickets he is not going to spend even one fourth of his monthly salary. But I have to spend two months' salary. Tell him to send the tickets. Otherwise please do not attend his marriage.' Jahnvi was candid in her suggestions.

'Now we are growing older. You have to take more responsibility of the family now. We are not dependent on our children like many other parents. We only ask some money occasionally from you. You have the bounden duty to help us as your parents.' Tilak Saikia demanded.

'Yes, now I am also growing older and wiser. I do not want to hurt your sentiment but truth remains, you had never supported me as a daughter in my entire life. You had always treated me as a burden till I started earning money. Once I started earning, I became an ATM for the family. All of you have treated me as a machine who has to produce something for you. Tell me one thing, have you ever considered me as your daughter throughout your life?' Jahnvi asked with a sad voice.

Tilak Saikia did not expect this question from his ever obliging daughter. At her answer, instead of being repentant, he became very angry and told to his daughter with an angry voice, 'Whatever you are today, is because of my sacrifice only. Now you are blaming me! How ungrateful you are?'

But for the first time Jahnvi hit back even more strongly, 'It is ridiculous, but not unexpected from you, papa. I cannot understand, what you want to say by saying that you had sacrificed something for me. When I was young, you always told me, I was dumb and a burden on you. Then, when your lovely daughter Kabita, who never thought me as her sister, eloped with an unemployed man, instead of admonishing her, you blamed me as why I had not informed you well in time about their relation. After few months, you welcomed them and started giving money regularly so that they would not face any financial problem. Then Yaminee wanted to marry her lover. You asked money from me without asking me whether, I want to marry before her or not. I obliged by giving all my savings. You have never tried to find a match for me in the last five years. But when Arup wanted to go to USA, he also asked money from me. When I said I did not have money, both he and my mother started blackmailing me emotionally and I had to withdraw my entire GPF amount for his study. Now you want to visit USA at my cost to attend Arup's marriage with an American girl. Have you ever tried to feel my pain? You all are like leach sucking my blood for years together. Now do not try to blackmail me emotionally and do not try to intimidate me to rob my hard earned money. I read in many articles, family is the backbone for a person. But I realized in the last 25 years of my life that my family is nothing but a bunch of blood thirsty vampires. Papa, never show your face to me in future for asking money. For you I am dead and for me all of you are dead. However, I am giving you one concession, if everyone of your lovely family actually dies, you can come to me to take refuse in my house as an old man only, but not as a father.' Without waiting for an answer, Jahnvi went to her bed room and jumped on her bed and started crying. She was sad, not because of the fact that she was harsh on her father, but because of a realization that why she could not ventilate her emotions before her father or any other family member at least few years ago.

Nobody was there to console her. After crying for more than an hour when she came out of her room she found none in the drawing room. Her father must have left her home long back, probably for the rest of his life.

Jahnvi felt good for the first time in her life. She promised to herself, she would live for her own only in the rest of her life. She felt that peace of mind had finally arrived in her life. She wanted to sleep keeping her head on the bare chest of someone for the first time.

In the late evening, she got a phone call from her mother, 'You should have done it long back my child. I could not help you in time, for that, you please forgive me. But emotionally during that period also I was supporting you.'

Jahnvi did not reply and hung the phone.

However, Jahnvi also realized, her mother was the only family member who sometimes supported her emotionally when she was young and vulnerable, though sometimes she also blackmailed her emotionally, at least whenever interest of Arup was involved. Rest of the family members started to think her as a human being only when she became an ATM for them. She decided to call her back. Who knows, may be for the last time in her life!

Few months after that face off with her father, she met Mr.Varun Saxena while coming back from Delhi after attending a seminar. In her subconscious mind, Jahnvi must have been harbouring a wish to have a boyfriend who can love her not only as a boyfriend but also fill the void of emotional support of a father. She found that quality in Varun Saxena within an hour of their first meeting. But she consciously tried to avoid surrendering her body and soul to the elderly man, due to her upbringing in a lower middle class society where we always live a fear psychosis 'what others will think about me, if I do something differently?'

So far Mr. Varun Saxena is concerned, he fell in true love for the first time. A taste of true love had made Varun like a teenager who fell in love for the first time. He had ditched his wife many times for physical comfort, but this time, he was mentally preparing himself to ditch his wife for emotional reasons.
Chapter VII: The Refusal

'I love you and respect you from my heart, but I cannot love you as you are expecting my love for you.'

It was the same reply from the lady whom Varun loves from his heart and wanted to make her his next wife. Varun understands, that may be the most polite way to refuse a love proposal from a person who is holding a good and powerful post by an ordinary girl, though he never considers Jahnvi as an ordinary girl. However, like any other ordinary person, Varun also expects, one day she will understand his love for her and she will agree to be his wife.

Varun has everything to be a good husband. He is a senior officer in Government of India and has sufficient properties across the country to support him financially even after his retirement. Contrary to that, Jahnvi is a young doctor and from an unsupportive lower middle class family. She is not extremely beautiful, though Varun finds her as the most beautiful girl in the world.

Varun understands that Jahnvi like any other young girl, cannot love him as a lover in the true sense. Two extremely sound reasons became the hurdles to get love from Jahnvi. First of all and most importantly, Varun has a family and has a living wife. The second reason is that he is almost twice the age of Jahnvi.

Initial refusal by a girl on his proposal is not a new experience for Varun. However, one incident shook Varun to the core.

Though Jahnvi used to meet him on his every visit to Guwahati, she had never invited him to her residence. After becoming close to her, he expressed his desire to visit her residence for several times.

Almost one year prior to the attack on him, Varun telephoned to Jahnvi to tell her, 'This time you have to invite me for a cup of tea. Will you?'

'Why not? Definitely I shall invite you.' She replied with a beautiful giggle.

But when he landed at Guwahati, she told telephonically that she was outside Guwahati and therefore she was not in a position to invite him for a cup of tea. Varun would not have mind had his friend not told him that Jahnvi was very much in the city.

Snubbing by his lady love for a mere cup of tea, terribly hurt his ego. He was so hurt with the snubbing from his lady love, he went to a spa to ease out his frustration, where he met a young beautiful girl of 22 from North East, Rosy.
Chapter VIII: Rosy

Rosy is a beautiful girl from a hill state of North Eastern part of India. Her parents were poor and were not in a position to support her in her higher studies beyond class XII. Somehow she managed some money to support herself for one year in degree course in a local college. During that period someone from her village showed a big city dream to her. She was convinced for achieving a good future in Delhi. She was brought to Delhi and given appointment in the Spa where Mr. Varun Saxena visited after his return from Guwahati getting a huge snubbing from his sweetheart Dr. Jahnvi Saikia.

Tribal girls of North Eastern part of the country are very beautiful and look much younger than their age. When Mr. Varun Saxena met Rosy, he was surprised to see her in a spa. He thought she would be hardly 15 years of age. But she said, 'Do not worry sir I am not a minor. I am going to be 22 in the next month. I shall make you so happy in the next one hour that, you will forget all the pains in your heart and body. I am sure you will come to me again and again.'

'It is unbelievable. You look so young and you are so sweet in your words.' Varun exclaimed.

'I can be your permanent girlfriend also sir, if you wish.' With a beautiful smile she replied.

'No, you cannot be. You are almost one third of my age.' Varun smiled back.

'Now a days to have an old boyfriend is a fashion for the new generation. So you can make me your girlfriend. I shall be extremely glad to be your girlfriend.' With another beautiful killing smile she poked Varun.

'Shall I be your first boyfriend?' Varun asked the young girl.

'Sorry sir. You won't be, My earlier boyfriend, three years' older than I, died in a bike accident one year ago. Now I am free.' Without any sadness in her voice she said.

'Are you not sad in recalling him?' Varun asked the young girl.

'No sir, as a girlfriend, I have given everything to him whatever I can give to a young man. So I have no regret sir.' Her candid admission surprised Varun.

Varun knew, these talks have no practical value. She was ready to sell her body at a premium. On that day Varun was so upset, he was ready to have a lady in his arms at any cost. On that day, the other amateur ladies with whom Mr. Varun Saxena had illicit relations, were not available due to one reason or another reason. So, on that day both were compatible to each other, one as a good customer and another one, as a good service provider.

'How much tips you are expecting from me now?' While dressing himself, Varun asked the young lady.

'Normally I take two thousand bucks. But since I like you and if you promise me to select me on your next visit also, you can give me 1500 bucks only. Five hundred bucks is special concession for you.' She smiled.

Varun handed over a Rupees two thousand note and told her, 'Do not worry. On my next visit also I shall select you only.'

Taking the note, Rosy hugged Varun tightly for a minute.

For the next six months or so, Varun became a regular client of Rosy as he promised her on the very first day.

Actually, though Varun understands her sweet talks are nothing but sweetness from a professional only, she was able to heal the broken heart of Varun upto a large extent. Varun was trying to erase the memory of Jahnvi forever from his heart. But it was not that simple. Every morning, memory of her smiles, her giggles disturb Varun. Every night before going to sleep, he feels her fragrance as if she is sleeping next to him. In fact, he became a wrecked man internally.

For a change, after meeting with Jahnvi and subsequently after meeting with Rosy, Mr. Varun Saxena completely stopped meeting those ladies with whom he had developed some illicit relation over the years.
Chapter IX: Reaction of Debolina

The very news of a deadly attack on husband will have always a devastating effect for any lady in the world. In Indian context, it may be more devastating as in India the fear for becoming a widow may be more painful. At the age when Debolina was about to lose her husband (as per the first information reached her), probability of arranging a marriage of a widow tends to zero in statistical language. Naturally that was the worst news she had got in her life. She was at a loss thinking what to do. Her daughter, Rini was composed throughout the tragedy and she consoled her mother that since he was still alive, she should not lose hope and everyone should pray for his recovery.

There is a saying money is larger than any relation and following that apt sentence, when Debolina came to know that she would get at least Rupees one crore from different sources in case her husband would die, her fear of losing her husband subsided and she mentally prepared herself to live alone for the rest of the life without any financial problem. Like Varun, Debolina was also not in deep love with Varun. It was a mere 'living together arrangement' between two compatible persons with or without love between them because of an agreement which we fondly call it as a great product of 'institution of marriage'.

In the meantime, their son Mrinal also reached home from USA and rushed to the hospital. He was informed that the condition of Varun Saxena is very serious; 'though he is stable, his condition is critical. He is not out of danger.'

When Mrinal met his sister Rini, first both of them cried for a long time embracing each other. Both the children hoped against hope that their father will recover and embrace them like any other day. To Mrinal's surprise, he found his mother was composed and was in a position to console Mrinal at that time.

Actually Debolina started enjoying the absence of Varun and started dreaming her future with opulence which she could not enjoy during the married life with her husband. Now she started feeling an irritation whenever someone showed some optimism of survival of Varun.

Fortunately till that time, Debolina was oblivious of her husband's emotional relation with Jahnvi and physical relation with many ladies including Rosy. It will be interesting to see what will be her reaction when she will come to know about the darker side of her husband.
Chapter X: Reaction of Jahnvi and Rosy

Jahnvi and Rosy came to know that Varun Saxena had been attacked by a young boy through newspaper only. According to the media reports, a spurned lover of a lady, Ms. Sanjana Mathur attempted to kill Varun Saxena who was in the impression that Ms. Sanjana Mathur and Mr. Varun Saxena had an illicit relation over a period of two years.

Both Jahnvi and Rosy had different feelings on the same news of the terrible attack on Mr. Varun Saxena though both of them emotionally attached to Varun Saxena with varied degree of emotion, without any socially recognised norm.

Varun loves Jahnvi from the core of his heart, so does Jahnvi. But a fear from within resisted her from admitting that she also loves him equally if not more. Actually, fear of society, fear from being accused of breaking a family resistance from within prevented her from telling Varun that she also loves Varun equally. She had a fear that if she would invite Varun for a dinner or for a cup of tea, emotion might would prevail upon her and in that situation anything could have happened. That was the reason, why she stopped Varun from visiting her quarters. Unfortunately, Varun felt humiliated and stopped communicating with her and went to the lap of Rosy.

However, the news of the attack on Varun and probable death of Varun devastated her so much so that she could not hide her emotion any more. During those weak moments, she shared her emotion with some of her friends. It actually was coming out of cheer sadness and without any expectation of gaining something. But as one of the friends was related to a media house, he found a scoop in her statement regarding her love for Mr. Varun Saxena, a senior officer of Government of India and a prolific writer. He did not care at all for the emotions of a friend who was suffering already for loneliness and for deprivation of love from anyone so far, so long. Immediately, it was blown out of proportion by the ever zealous Indian media.

On the other hand, Rosy and Varun were involved more physically than emotionally. Initially she felt bad for Mr. Varun Saxena as he was a good paymaster for the services she used to provide to him. Though initially she did not have any plan to squeeze money from the Saxena family but she was instigated by her boss that she can earn some money claiming her closeness with Mr. Varun Saxena. Naturally, Rosy also wanted to have a slice of pie from the probable death of Mr. Varun Saxena as she was made to understand that, Saxena family is going to receive huge amount of compensation money in case of death of Mr. Saxena. Therefore she also went to the media with a claim that she had both physical and emotional relation with Mr. Varun Saxena. In the process, Mr. Varun Saxena's image had been tarnished beyond repair, as none was initially wanted to defend the unconscious Mr. Saxena. Luckily for him, none of other amateur ladies came forward to say against him, as they were going to lose something in lieu of that, which they did not want to lose.

However, Sanjana's name was unnecessarily dragged into the controversy because of the foolishness of her boyfriend who thought Saxena had an illicit relation with Sanjana.

Fortunately, good sense prevailed in the family of Mr. Varun Saxena and they started defending unconscious Varun before media and in public. The family members of Saxena accused both Jahnvi and Rosy as they were after the property and money of Saxena family. Though Rosy was not hurt by their accusation, Jahnvi was hurt to the core. There was none to console her. She decided to visit Saxena at the hospital and telephoned Debolina. But she was denied permission to meet Saxena by Debolina.
Chapter XI: Media Trial

The best part of Indian electronic media and upto some extent print media also, is that they can behave like the investigators, prosecutors, jury and judge at the same time without verifying the facts and without hearing from the other side of the story. The moment Jahnvi's friend went to the media to tell that Mr.Varun Saxena and Dr. Jahnvi had an emotional relation, within no time media started adding salt and spices on the original admission of Jahnvi before her friends privately and without verifying the facts from Jahnvi and Saxena family, they concluded that the duo had a relation beyond emotional attachment. Even one news channel claimed that Varun and Jahnvi have a love child. They not only tarnished the image of Mr. Varun Saxena but also image of an innocent young and devoted doctor, Jahnvi.

When Rosy also came to know about likely windfall at the expected death of Varun Saxena, she also came before media to stake her claim that Mr. Varun Saxena had many physical encounters with her. Media who had already tarnished the image of Mr.Varun Saxena without any sympathy who was still struggling for his life, after Rosy's claims they got more fodder to make more stories, sometimes only out of imaginations.

Now you can understand what would be the reaction of the family members of Varun. In the absence any defence from Varun Saxena, the family were forced to be busy in damage control than attending Varun. His children convinced their mother that the claim made by Jahnvi is also nothing but a claim that aimed to take away a portion of the likely compensation amount from the Government. And therefore, their mother had no alternative but to defend their father in public. The children told their mother that they would not mind if, in close door, she curse him to be thrown to the worst hell no 64 as per Hindu religion.

Some of the papers claimed that Saxena family had already started financial negotiation for an 'out of court settlement' with Jahnvi and Rosy.

Media trial put not only Mr. Varun Saxena but also Jahnvi in bad light. Wherever she went after those false media reports, many people used to ask many questions about her relation with Mr. Varun Saxena. Even one of the relatives asked her, where she was keeping her illegitimate child.

Her family members were also not spared by the local people and by the relatives. As a result of that the whole family started blaming poor Jahnvi for her alleged illicit relation with a married person. However, many blamed her parents for not taking any interest in her marriage despite of the fact that both of her younger siblings have already been married. Her father tried to contact her, but she did not pick up his phone.

However, when her brother called her from USA, she told him categorically, 'Why you are showing concern about me now? You should have shown some concern a few years back when all of you had treated me as only an ATM. Just for information, I loved him but I could not tell him before he was attacked that I love him from the core my heart. For not opening my heart to him earlier, I did a blunder for which I cannot forgive myself in this life. Having a child or having any physical relation with him is nothing but some bull shits. Please, tell my other family members not to call me to show any concern for me as for them, I have already been dead few years ago and for me also they had been non-entity only.' Then she hung the phone.

After a week of her media trial, Jahnvi telephoned Debolina to tell her that she did not have any physical relation with Varun Saxena nor she was interested for his money; but even then she wanted to see him in the hospital. However, when Debolina asked categorically, was there any emotional relation between them, she became evasive and told that she was not sure. In a sense, she lied to Debolina that she was in love with him till the day of attack and even at the time of making the call she was madly in love with him and probably for her it would not be possible to tie the knot (marry) with anybody else other than Mr. Varun Saxena in this life. Debolina told Jahnvi not to come to Delhi to see Varun as he was still unconscious. Debolina heard the sound of weeping from the other side, before disconnecting of the telephone and understood everything about the emotional relation between Jahnvi and Varun. That is the reason why Jahnvi was not allowed to meet the unconscious Varun in the hospital.

There is a saying every cloud has a silver lining. In this case also, during all these gloomy days of Varun Saxena's family, a small news made the family more than happy. All on a sudden, the books written by Varun Saxena made lot of interest amongst the public and lakhs of copies of his ebooks were sold after the attack on his life. Debolina Saxena realized that even notoriety of her husband was also not that bad so far earning of hard cash was concerned.
Chapter XII: The Chosen One

For the last one year he was not interested to live in this world. He wanted to leave this unhappy world forever where he had never been able to taste the sweetness of true love. He did not want to live a long life without love from Jahnvi, who snubbed his proposal more than once in the last two years. One day he was asking the Almighty why he was sent to this earth. 'When I was born, my parents were not happy. Then through utter determination, when I was able to do better results in my academics, my siblings started disliking me. As I started achieving something my childhood friends started deserting me. I was married to an inert lady who never loved me and forced me to visit professional comfort girls. Then finally when I fell in love at a ripe age of fifty three, the lady love rejected me. Then why should I live in this world? Can you not take me to your place as early as possible as my children are also settled and my wife will have sufficient money even if I die tomorrow?'

But nobody can go against the wish of the Almighty and therefore we have to witness many miracles in this world.

Though he wanted to die as soon as possible, Varun was not that lucky to leave this world so easily. Even after pumping three bullets in the chest, the young boy could not kill Varun Saxena, because he was the chosen person to do something special for the mankind.

The young beautiful girl (mother Goddess) once again explained to him, 'My son, you are not sent to this world without a reason. Attack on you is also a part of a larger design plotted by me. I want to make you my voice for the next few years to bring back few innocent souls who are mislead by some Devilish persons. After attack on your life and subsequent publicity as a notorious man, you are perfectly fit to serve me for the next few years to uplift few souls from the impending fall to the hell. You are baptised through a fire, all created by me only.' She stopped there for a minute.

'You have already gone through your memory lane. You remembered the tragic life of Jahnvi also. Before going to the lap of Rosy, you could have understood the problems Jahnvi was facing and waited for her. But going to the lap of Rosy you had created another problem for you and that will further tarnish your image. But as I said earlier, all your misdeeds are good for me to make a perfect ambassador of peace and tranquillity for mankind. At different of point of history you may get lots of examples of this kind. So do not break your head to understand my design and follow what I am saying now.' The Mother explained why he was chosen to do her work despite of his numerous misdeeds in the last few decades of his life.

'You have to write a book on your meeting with me and about your past deeds without hiding anything. The book will be a controversial one and you will be targeted person for public ire and abuse, and even you may face some physical assaults on you and Jahnvi also. Do not worry for those attacks, both physical and emotional. Slowly people will believe in your words and the persons those who are also languishing in dirt, will start find a way out from the hell. Even if you will be able to pull out only one person from the dirt I shall be happy. But I am sure with your intelligence and eloquence in writing and telling stories you will be able to do justice to your efforts and will be a successful preacher. Be brave, take risks. I promise you to save Jahnvi and your life till you achieve your goal of pulling out some people from depression, guilt and help them to start a new life of goodness. My blessings will be always with you. For today this much is enough for you. You try to remember each and every advice of mine, word by word.' She disappeared after saying the last sentence.
Chapter XIII: Sanjana Mathur

Sanjana Mathur alias Sanju is the heir of the Mathur and Mathur Inc dealing with real estate in New Delhi and NCR (National Capital Region). She is the only daughter of Mr. Alok Mathur, one of the richest businessmen of New Delhi. Her mother, Amrita is originally from South Kolkata and was originally an automobile engineer. Sanju wants to be musician though her parents want her to be a business woman like her father. As a good father, Alok Mathur arranged a good musician as her home tutor to teach her Indian classical music.

Sanjana is a pampered and somewhat selfish girl brought up in a society where only money speaks. When she was doing her master, philanthropy bug hits her head and heart. She wanted to do some philanthropic works in rural India as she heard many things about the poor people of India from the music teacher who originally hails from rural area of Benaras (Varanasi). Therefore during her vacation, she came to Rural Development Ministry along with two other students and visited Varun Saxena's office two years ago.

On the very first meeting with Saxena, she realized she met a very peculiar man in Varun Saxena. She had never met such type of man in her short life of twenty-two odd years. Even though she met some extremely good persons during her meetings in her life who devoted their life for some good causes; she found Varun, a man with a very different personality.

One day, while talking to her in one of the meetings he confessed to Sanju, 'Do you know, I am infamous for my extra-ordinary attraction for ladies. But many people do not know that I am always attracted differently to different ladies. For example, I am attracted to you, as any father will be attracted to a daughter as he has the responsibility to look after her security and arrange food and drinks for her at any time and every time. For your information, I have two children, whom I love more than anyone else. But as I have already told you, I am attracted to woman differently. To substantiate my claim on that issue I have to confess before you that, I love a very young lady who is only 10-11 years older than you whom I want to marry and I am sure, she will agree to marry me and in that case, I shall prove myself before her as a good husband. Unfortunately, as of now, she has snubbed several times, my proposal to marry her. I was hurt when she snubbed me even for a cup of tea I went to a professional lady who is only 22 and she not only gave me physical comfort but also is ready to provide me emotional support as a girlfriend. Now you can understand that love for you as a father has nothing to do with my physical condition nor mental condition of an able bodied person. Just to further clarify, despite of being a normal person, I always respect social and emotional relation even at the trying conditions. I assure one thing to you, so long I am alive and mentally alert, no matter what comes in between us, you will always be my daughter and only a daughter.' Saxena stopped there.

At that, Sanju asked Saxena, 'Do you know who I am?'

'So far I know, you are an Intern in my office. Are you from New Delhi or from any other place of India or from some other country?' For the first time he asked some personal questions to Sanju.

'Why you have asked these questions after so many meetings? You could have asked me these questions within fifteen minutes of our first meeting.' Sanju asked the old man.

'There are many reasons for that. I did not know when I met for the first time and even now, whether you are from a very rich family or from a poor family. If you are from a rich family, you would have a feeling that, I am treating you as my own daughter, expecting some financial gain from your parents. If you are from a poor family or you are from a broken family without proper love and affection, then you may have a feeling that I was making you my daughter, by showing pity on your emotional life. Both are dangerous for starting a healthy relation between two unknown persons. Now if you understand what type of man I am, you can tell about your social and financial background and you can ask my background as well. But to be honest, we should not ask these questions even now. Because it may lead to develop some adverse effects in our relation.' Indirectly he dissuaded her from telling and asking any personal questions, particularly about financial and social status of the two.

Sanju got three very specific messages from that lecture by the old man. 'She is safe with the old man as he does not have any expectation of sexual gratification from her. But as a senior officer, he has a bad reputation in handling ladies. He is bold and truthful.'

Probably that was new experience for the young girl who was brought up in a materialistic world where man is judged by his bank balance only. This old man was not aware and not interested to know at any time whether she is a daughter of a business tycoon or she is a daughter of a pauper. Therefore his love for her had nothing to do with her economic status or social status.

Another day Saxena told her, 'Sanju, you must have been told by many that there are some good people and there are some bad people around you. They must have told you that you should avoid mixing up with bad people. But there is no good person or bad person in this world. Even you see the animal kingdom, there is no good animal or a bad animal. Take the example of a tigress who can kill anyone who comes between her cubs and her. Similarly a don who can order to kill anyone but he may be very good for his family members and family members of those working under him. Similarly, as a father I can sacrifice my life for you, but I may be not that good for another lady who may come close to me for some works. A lady with whom I love from the core of heart may certify me as a good man, on the other hand my wife, my children and relative my wife will say I am character loose, ungrateful person and so on once they will come to know about my love affairs or about my physical relation with other ladies. So I, the same person, is a God for someone and a dog for someone else.' He stopped there on that day.

One day Sanju asked Varun, 'how do you maintain a very good health and can smile even when you are angry on someone else.'

Varun replied with a smile, 'someone else also asked me few years ago, a similar type of question. He asked me, what I used to do when I was hurt by someone or by some adverse situations. I replied to him that in that case, I buy a bottle of whiskey and pick up a book to read or pick up my pen to write a story or a poem. That is why I am able to write many poems and stories, albeit many people may not have read any of those books or poems. But that habit saves my liver and health. But unfortunately, the bottles of whiskey have occupied considerable space in my wardrobe.' Then he laughed as if he was cracking a joke in a cocktail party before a group of his old friends.

Sanju realized, he was like that only; you may love him or hate him. Either way, he is different from others.
Chapter XIV: He is like a God

Initially Sanju was apprehensive about facing the media. But after discussing the matter with her parents and few lawyers, she decided to call a press conference to clear her name from the attack on Varun Saxena. She gave a detailed brief on her relation with Varun Saxena and with her boyfriend, Anupam. Then she requested media persons to ask any specific question if anything had come to their minds.

'Sir is like a God.' When a journalist asked about Varun's character who was still in coma in the AIIMS. 'Only the God can save a person in such a horrible attack. Why God has saved him, because he is also like a god.' Sanjana Mathur replied.

'Is it because you are from a rich family he did not dare to exploit you?' Another journalist asked.

'I faced this question earlier also from my own friends and my family members. I am again reiterating what I had answered to my friends and my family. Till the day he was attacked, he did not ask me who am I. So please do not try to tarnish his character. So far I knew him, he wants to help others, but seldom has he taken any help from others. Further, please do not forget that his is a very senior officer of Government of India and both of his children are also well settled financially. From the attitude he had shown during my association with him in the last few years, I do not think, he was expecting any monetary help from my family. In fact, he is not a money minded person nor he is a financially corrupt officer.' Sanju stopped there.

'Hope he will survive. Then the adverse reports in the media may be devastating effect on him. What do you say?'

"One day I asked him, how he maintains a very good health and can smile even when he is in a hopeless position. His answer surprised me. He told me with a grin on his face, when I am hurt by someone or by a situation I buy a bottle of whiskey and pick up a book to read or pick up my pen to write a story or a poem. That is why I am able to write many poems and stories, albeit you may not have read any of those books or poems. But that habit saves my liver and health. But unfortunately the bottles have occupied considerable space in my wardrobe.' Then he laughed as if he was cracking a joke in a cocktail party. He is like that. His spirit is indomitable. Now I am sure, he will survive so that he can write a very good book on his experience after the attack and I also hope, the book will be read by a large section people across the globe." She stopped there.

'Being a young lady, have you not inclined to have any physical relation with him?' A young lady journalist asked her with smirk in her face.

"Yes I also feel sometimes that he has something to attract every lady towards him. But as I have already said, he is a very intelligent man and whenever he feels I had been distracted from my assigned work, he used to say, 'Never distract from your assigned work otherwise all will blame me, your poor father for not guiding you properly.' He always stressed in referring himself as my poor father."

'Tell something about your boyfriend. Have you talked to him after his arrest?'

'Yes I talked to him. Now he realised he did a grave mistake. He will apologise to Saxena sir when he will get consciousness. I am sure, Saxena sir will pardon him, but I shall not. Because as far as I know, Saxena sir can forgive his worst enemies also and I cannot forgive even a friend for his slightest mistake.'

This small but widely published media interactions by Sanjana Mathur had ripple effects in the media also. Some ladies who were young and close to Varun also came out openly to tell his positive sides. The hesitant media also started airing the views of the young ladies whom Varun always treated as sisters and daughters. They also started their stories about how Varun used to drop them at their residence even after mid-night without even touching their hands inappropriately.

Before Varun got back to his sense, the world was divided over the personal character of Varun. In the meantime, the ebooks Varun were downloaded like hotcakes swelling his bank account like Brahmaputra during the rainy season.

Without saying, his family members are also now praying for his recovery as they also got some celebrity status without any personal efforts. But Debolina got a sense that something very bad was going to happen to her life after his return from the hospital.
Chapter XVI: He Is a Complex Man

Varun is not a God as described by Sanjana and the young ladies whom Varun treated as his sisters or daughters. Similarly, he is not also a devil as described by few ladies led by Rosy or as depicted by partial Indian media initially. Basically he was an ordinary man who developed a complex personality which can be described in the following lines.

Varun is a man to be relied upon as a friend and as a foe never to be underestimated.

He is known for his helpful attitude and he can help even at the cost of his own interest like he helped Sanju like his own daughter despite knowing that many people doubted his relation with her.

He always respects social norms with utmost diligence. He developed a liking for Sanju on the very sight as his own daughter and therefore he maintained that relation till the day of attack and before he had lost his consciousness.

In his life, he never forces anybody to sleep with him and never ever tries to have sex with any lady with having any relation which may be social, emotional or official with him. He always treated any lady who is remotely associated with any of his near relatives and friends as his sister, daughter or mother depending upon her age.

Varun is also a god fearing man and always praise the Almighty for his success and never blames God for his failures as he thinks, the God always gives him less punishment for his misdeeds. Sanju was surprised his devotion and submission to the Almighty when he was facing all sorts of problems in office and personal life which he sometimes shared with her.

He takes hard drinks occasionally but was ready to have sex with anybody at any time except those ladies with whom he has any relation socially, emotionally or officially, even remotely as mentioned above.

He is a cunning man and his left hand does not know what his right hand is doing. Apparently he is very open, but he keeps some of his secrets close to his heart and never divulge to anyone else. During his association with Sanju, he said many things about his experiences as a village boy and about his struggles as a student. But he did not divulge about his relation with any lady before and after marriage.

In a single sentence, if Varun has to be explained, he is a sex maniac with different colours with equal number positive and negative qualities.

That is why, both types of images have emerged in public domain on the news on his attack. The views about him are very strong from both the sides. None is willing to believe the other side on his character. However, good thing for Varun is that after Sanju's interview, his close family members, except his wife started believing him and started defending him tooth and nail.
Chapter XVII: Why You Are Chosen

After hearing mother's commandments Saxena asked the Mother Goddess, still looks like a young girl, 'Few small questions are still puzzling me. Will you kindly enlighten me?'

'Go ahead my child.' The smiling girl given the permission to ask the question.

'Why you look like a small girl to me and why I am chosen for the job despite of the fact that so many bad habits are living inside me? There might be many sinners like me, then why you have picked up me for a noble cause?' Saxena with folded hands asked the mother.

'I am actually too large to be accommodated in the whole earth. To communicate with you, I become a small girl, like a large film can be condensed to a small chip. So far your second question is concerned, I have explained a part of it in the first meeting and subsequent meetings also. Let me elaborate you further. An intelligent sinner and famous person's views are heard by common people once he or she denounce the world of sin and sinners. You are intelligent but I know, your full body is full of dirt and many people cannot see anything good in beyond the dirt. But as a mother I know, once you will get rid of those dirt while going through this fire of death, you will be the best person to propagate goodness among the people who are confused and misguided by the disciples of the Devil. So my son, you have to follow my advice for the rest of the life without any deviation.'

'Oh, my mother, I have still some doubts regarding my own life. Will you tell me, how I should deal with my love life and as a husband how to deal with my wife whom I could not love during the last three decades?' Saxena was still in confusion.

'Your wife was also not a pious lady as many people thought about her. Every action has an equal reaction. I liked you because you did not want to hurt her sentiment by saying anything harsh to her though you had never loved her. You have harboured a guilty feeling for many years since you had cheated her for the first time. On the other hand though she also never loved you she had never had any guilty feeling only because she had not indulged any physical or emotional illicit relation beyond her married life. But she never tried to know your feelings as well. However, like you, I also do not want to be harsh on your wife. I shall make her happy through some of your actions which will come to your mind at the appropriate time. Actually I shall give her a boon through which she will be economically independent and rich which every lady on this world wants to be. Therefore, do not worry for her, I am taking care of her. However, how you can win the heart of your lover, it is upto you. Whether you will be able to win her heart or not, that depends on your true love for her and your intelligent handling of the issue. While giving your lover the status of a wife, you must not sacrifice the interest of your children and wife. But again I am saying handling of the whole situation of your personal life depends on your craft handling and remember, your every action will be monitored by your followers and therefore, it should be transparent and your decision should not hurt anyone. Now repeat my advices one by one.' The Motheer Goddess asked Saxena to recall all her advices in the last few days.

Varun Saxena was able to tell each and every advice from his memory. At last he promised to the Mother, 'I shall follow your each and every advice line by line, word by word even at the cost of my life. I shall hand over all the properties and money to my wife and to our children. I shall not keep anything for me and Jahnvi. I shall start my life afresh. If Jahnvi wants to join my mission, she will be welcome. But if she refuses me to join, I shall not force her. Even if she does not want me to marry, I shall not pursue her again for marriage, but I shall devote my life for the economically, socially and emotionally downtrodden people. I shall work for the preservation of the environment and try to save all the animals around me. Please bless me to be firm on my efforts to do those lofty works. Please make me free from ego and aspire for any reward in terms of money and glory.'

The Mother Goddess touched the head of Varun Saxena. He felt an unknown eternal peace in his mind.

Without giving any chance to ask further question, the young girl vanished into the thin air.

Though Saxena was not sure about his course of actions in the next few days, he preferred to stay calm and follow all the advices of the Mother Goddess as promised by him.
Chapter XVIII: The Cunning Fox Yet to Die

Thanks to the best of the medical facilities in AIIMS, Varun recovered from the life threatening attack to almost perfect health within one month after he was attacked by the spurned lover of Sanjana. However, his fox inside wanted to know the reactions of the people closed to him. Therefore, he pretended to lose memory partially.

His approach was right in a sense as when he went through some of the newspapers, he was shocked to see how people can malign a person who cannot defend his case. Then he wanted to see who were on his side and who were not, presuming that he was going to die soon.

He was hurt to read the full and painful interview of Jahnvi when she was deliberately misquoted by many newspapers and electronic media. However, he was happy to note that finally she also admitted that she also loves him and not adverse to marry him. But he wanted to know the reaction of his wife Debolina and his children, behind the closed doors after reaching home. He knew they appeared to be on his side in public, when he was in hospital. He decided to pretend not to recognize his wife and the son; but was able to recognize his daughter.

After release from the hospital, he went home and as soon as he entered home, his wife thundered, 'you rascal, whether you recognize me or not, I have recognized you fully. Behind me, you are doing all sort of nonsense. I shall show you, who am I now.'

Varun wanted to react immediately. But, the cunning fox inside Varun desisted from reacting and looked at his wife with a blank face and then replied with calmness in his voice, 'Though I could not recognize you, I understand you must be my wife. From your reaction, I easily understand I must have a very bad married life with you. Anyway slowly I shall remember everything.'

Debolina wanted to say something more but at that time, their son gestured his mother to stop her volcano of words.

He took his mother to the corner of the room and whispered, 'Mom, try to understand, if he decides to divorce you and decides to marry Jahnvi, we are going to lose a huge sunk of our property. Forgetting everything, you should show him that you love him very much and slowly try to show Jahnvi in bad light.'

Varun still kept his cool and behaved as if he neither recognise both his wife and his son and he did not understand what they were talking about. He also pretended so far not to remember the names of Jahnvi and Rosy.

For the next few days, he was pretending not to recognize his wife and he enjoyed the care his wife was taking. He recalled, in his entire married life, taking care was always a one way traffic. She never cares for him even when he was not well. He was surprised to see how she also can act to show her love to him. Is it an acting competition where both of them are taking part? He was really amused with her behaviour.

Despite of his poor health and partial memory loss, he decided to join to his official duties. Everyone was happy to see him alive, but many of them, particularly his seniors, felt jealous for the financial windfall on his family and getting the celebrity status by him.

After a week, he told his family members that he would shift to a rented house as he was not comfortable in sleeping with a lady whom he was yet to recognize as his wife.

Though his children believed him, Debolina understood that his action was heading for a divorce only.
Chapter XIX: The Final Transition

The final over is very crucial for any exciting cricket match. Varun Saxena was also preparing for the final emotional assaults on Debolina, Jahnvi and Rosy, the three ladies who influenced his emotional life differently post attack on his life.

He decided to throw a party at Radisson Blue Hotel inviting all his close persons well in advance. He invited most of the friends from Benaras and Delhi, his relatives and all the young ladies with their families who came up for his defence during the period when he was fighting for his life. He specially invited Jahnvi and Rosy also for the party. He actually sent a return ticket to Jahnvi with a special request to attend the party at any cost.

In the early morning of the schedule date of the party, he visited his family in his own allotted Quarters at the posh locality of Delhi. As he pressed the calling bell, his son, Mrinal opened the door. As he entered the room, his wife asked, 'Who is at the door?'

Before his son, Mrinal could reply, Varun replied, 'It is me. I am coming here to invite all of you for a party tonight. But before that, I want to discuss something with all of you.'

'I do not want to discuss anything with you. You can go now.' His wife answered angrily.

'It is urgent. Moreover it may be beneficial for all of us. Anyway if you do not want to discuss, it is perfectly alright.' Looking to his son he told, 'Ok call Rini. Both of you sit down for ten minutes and if you have anything to suggest you are most welcome for any suggestion.'

After two minutes, Debolina also joined the discussion with a gloomy face.

Varun started with a very controlled voice, 'Debo, I know and you also know, we could not love each other even after staying together for more than thirty odd years. I tried to make you understand what I want from you in the first ten years or so. I tried to win over your heart by giving everything to you whatever I had in those day. But my best efforts were not sufficient to win over your heart. Then after ten years, I also stopped my efforts to win your true love for me. You must have also many things against me in your mind. Probably we were sticking together so long because of our children and your financial dependency on me. Now our children are no more dependent on me and I shall try to make you also financially independent for the rest of your life.' Before he finished his offer to his wife, as usual she blasted at Varun, 'Now I am becoming old that is why you want to dump me. You have to compensate me by giving everything you are having today.'

'Exactly, I also want to do that. I have already made necessary documents to transfer all the immovable properties in your name. I am also going to pay a whopping amount so that you need not have to be dependent on anyone in your old days, not even on our children. But I have one condition.' He stopped to see the reaction of his wife.

'I want an amount which is equal to Rs.1,00,000/-pm for the next 20 years in one lump sum. By the way, what is your condition?' Debolina thought he was not in position to give that huge amount and his desire to leave her would end there itself.

'Okay, you are going to get the amount as demanded by you and that too in one lump sum. My only condition for fulfilling your demand is, you have to sign the mutual consent paper for divorce simultaneously against the lump sum settlement.' Varun replied instantly.

Debolina was surprised at his answer. Their children kept mum all along. Varun stood up from the chair and told, 'You all come to the party. My lawyer will also be there. All the documents will be ready by the time. Once all the necessary documents will be signed, money will be transferred to your account well before you leave the party.'

'Are you going to marry that horrible bitch?' Debolina asked her estranged husband.

'I do not know, whether she will agree to marry me or not. I have not talked to her on that issue so far. Earlier, she refused to marry me on my several proposals. Even she refused to love me as her boyfriend.' Varun replied thoughtfully and then he said again, 'Oh, I forget to tell all of you; this quarter will be remain in my name till my retirement from the service. Therefore, all of you can stay here till my retirement and I have already decided to stay in a rented accommodation. Further for any other help, you can contact me at any time, at any place.' Saying those lines he left the place without waiting to see their reactions.

Varun as usual true to his colour, did not tell his wife from where he would get the huge amount of Rs.2.4 Crore to transfer to the account of his wife. He took an advance of $500,000/- (equivalent to Rs.3,00,000,00/-) as advance from a publishing house as advance for his new book, 'for a mere cup of tea take a dip in your own blood' where he will write about his life and meeting with the Mother Goddess during his unconscious state of mind after the terrible attack by the young man.

In the evening with the arrival of the guests, party started in the Radisson Blue with strong Western Music in the background, as scheduled. When Jahnvi, Rosy and his family members arrived, he climbed to the podium and gave this piece of lecture.

'I know all of you present here love me from the core of your hearts and always stood by me during my thick and thin. Though I am yet to remember all of you by face (due to my partial memory loss- actually he is acting to his own advantage), I had gone through different newspapers and electronic clips to identify all of you and know how important all of you in my life. I thank all of you for your good wishes. Please enjoy the party. In the meantime, I want to talk with my family members and Jahnvi separately. Interestingly, I am yet to recognize Jahnvi by face, unfortunately who made me most controversial person for some time. Then I want to talk with Rosy also, whom now I can recognize once I saw her amongst you.' He stopped there.

Jahnvi tried to come to the stage, but Varun gestured her to stay back for the time being. Then he invited his family members to a room where his advocate was already sitting with few documents in his hand.

Within ten minutes all the documents were signed by both the parties. Documents pertaining to all his immovable properties were exchanged with his wife and children. Electronically Rs. 2.4 crore was also transferred to Debolina's account as demanded by her after she signed the divorce papers.

He hugged his wife of thirty years for the last time in front of everyone. Then he turned to his children, 'If you need money or some other help, even if I marry Jahnvi, do not hesitate to come to me. Both of you will be always closest to my heart. Take care of your mother. She is a simple lady who always took everything for granted. I always love her as my wife and mother of you two, though probably she failed to reciprocate my feelings throughout our married life. That might be due to faulty upbringing of her by her parents. Her parents taught their son, how good should be his wife and taught their daughter, how good should be her husband. Therefore her brother became a bad husband and your mother failed to be a good wife with always high expectations from my side only. I may have also many short comings and that is why we are at this juncture now. Our separation may help us in realizing our short comings and our faults. Despite of her shortcomings she gifted me two most wonderful gifts in you, for which I shall remain grateful to her. Further, she had been a good mother to both of you, so please always take care of her.' He stops there. For the first time in his long married life Varun saw instead of fighting with him she was weeping. Varun felt little bad for her. He patted on her back and left the room.

As he left the room, Rini embraced her mother and told her, 'Do not worry mom. We shall always be with you.' Then she also started weeping. She knew her mother was more responsible for her fate than his father. But still she could not condone her father for his actions as a young woman. Probably she was also extremely angry with Jahnvi like her mother.

Mrinal was looking to the ceiling fan vaguely and tried to understand where they went wrong. He knew, his father took all the pain to make them good citizens of the country and always try to make them happy almost singlehandedly as her mother did not take care of the children like any other mother who normally takes care of her children. He felt sorry for his father, who was so much in pain for so many years for the sake of their welfare.

After sometime they returned to the hall where party was going on in full swing.

Varun gestured Rosy to come to the lobby. After sitting on the sofa, he asked Rosy with an emotionless voice, 'Why have you gone to the media to tell against me? I always paid you more than the normal rate paid by other customers. I do not owe anything to you. Am I right or wrong?'

'You are right sir. I was also not interested to go to the press, but my owner instigated me to squeeze some money from your family. I am really sorry for that. Please forgive me.' Rosy submitted an unconditional apology.

'There is a saying, once bitten, twice shy. Though I believe your words without casting any doubt, I have to take precaution this time and that is why, you please sign this document. I shall give you an amount in lieu of that despite of the fact that I owe you nothing.'

Varun gave a document to sign. Without even reading the document, Rosy signed the document. Varun gave a cheque as promised. The amount written on the cheque surprised Rosy. Looking at her surprised look, Varun told her, 'I owe this much to you and you did not know what help you had provided me during that period. With this amount you can come out from the hell where you are languishing now. Go back to your village and start a fresh honourable life.' Rosy could not stop her tears and did not dare to see eye to eye to the person who had been always kind to her and she wanted to tarnish the image of the same person presuming he was going to die.

Ten minutes after Rosy left the hotel with a cheque in her hand and Varun also returned to the hall.

When Varun came to the hall everyone was enjoying the party oblivious of the divorce of Varun and his wife. He went to Jahnvi and told her, 'Please come with me' and then he led her to the lobby of the hotel.

As they sat down, Varun started to talk with his sweetheart, 'I do not know, today is a good day for me or a bad day for me. A few minutes ago, I divorced my wife of more than thirty years. I have transferred all the movable and immovable properties to her. Today I am free from her and also free from all the properties I have earned in the last thirty years of our married life. Today, I become penniless and have to start my new life from scratch. I do not know whether I shall be able to buy even a small one room flat to stay for the rest of my life or not. But still I am happy to be free from all I had earned in the last thirty odd years.' He stopped for some time to see the reaction from Jahnvi.

As she kept mum, he asked her, 'Do you still love me, a man without any money and property? Or you love the dead Varun Saxena only?'

Jahnvi still kept mum. 'Then I shall prefer to die very soon.'

Still Jahnvi did not reply, but her eyes betrayed her this time. Few drops of tears rolled down on her cheeks. Varun stood from his chair and wiped her tears and told her, "I am extremely tired now. From my heart, I want to marry you. But my head says otherwise; 'do not marry her'. This time, my heart says to say you, 'please do not say a no to me'. But my head says to request you, 'please do not say a yes to me as I have nothing to make you happy, I have lost everything today.'

'I know, this time, it will be not possible for me to tolerate your refusal. But still I want to say you, 'do not say a yes to me, so that I can die quickly and peacefully.' Before you say something, please think thousand times. If necessary, you take some more time to reply."

Jahnvi could not control herself this time and embraced Varun like a little girl and murmured, 'I cannot live in this world without you. I love you. I cannot tell a lie to myself any more that I am not in love with you. I avoided you in fear of the society. Now I have no fear for anyone. My family has already abandoned me. I am also very tired now like you. I want your broad chest to rest my head so that I can cry loudly for few hours to washout my sorrow and anguish forever. I do not want your money, but your love and affection. I want to die in your arms. I want to be your wife till my death.'

Both of them did not want to go to the hall where party was going on with loud western music. Both of them did not want to rub salts on the wounds of Debolina and his children. But both of them wanted to stay in a secluded place to ventilate their sorrow and anguish. Both of them wanted to start a new life resting their heads on the bosoms of each other.

Debolina also wanted to go home as quickly as possible to understand what she had lost and what she had gained post attack on her ex-husband Mr. Varun Saxena. But her tears obstructed her quick movement to come out of the hall where western music was going on in full volume.

Mr. Varun Saxena confided Jahnvi about his meeting (you have the every right to say, it was nothing but hallucination only) with Mother Goddess and his decision to involve himself in the expected mission of life as per the advices of the Mother Goddess. Finally he told Jahnvi, 'I have decided to devote all my energy to help the downtrodden people, environment and for the rights of the animals. I know, I have to face hundreds of obstacles to achieve even one percent of the desired goal. Even in the process, I may even lose my life (intentionally he did not say that the Mother Goddess has already assured to save his and Jahnvi's life). Even being a wife also you are free to join or abstain from my mission. However, I would like to know, whether you will be a partner in my mission to help the downtrodden of the society leaving all comfort of our life. I am not in a hurry to know your answer. For your answer, I can wait even for the whole life.'

'Do you still have any doubt that I shall not be a partner in that noble mission?' Jahnvi put a counter question. Varun did not have any doubt on that.

'Do you want some rest now?'

Jahnvi nodded and rested her head on his broad shoulders.

The author is a Government servant and a man of vivid experiences derived from his official postings across the country, travels across India and numerous visits outside India. He is presently placed at New Delhi.

His earlier publications are:

1. Random Thoughts through a Coloured Prism (second print edition is also available)

2. Dilemma of a Young Mind

3. Funny Statistics and Serious Statisticians

4. Melody of Fragrance (print edition is also available)

5. Akhadya

6. Few Cities through the Lens of Hiranya Borah

7. Guilt: Gift of Winter Spring (print edition is also available)

8. Beautiful Ghost  
9. Great Fighters: Grace of God

10. All Blurred

11. Putting kids to sleep

12. How to become unpopular

13. Soulmates

14. My grumpy Face

15. Love and Worries

16. Discussion of own Birth: A Taboo

17. Interview

18. Indecent Love Affairs

19. My Fair Lady

20. Waiting time

21. Two Stories

22. My Mother: Dashami Borah

23. Parineeta

24. Manorama

25. Unwanted

26. First Attempt

27. A father

28. The Portrait

29. Snapped Thread

30. Only He Knows

31. The Stupid Mother

32. The Same Old Story

33. The Old Scoundrel

34. Third Attempt

35. Some of my First Days and First Nights

36. Snubbed Twice

37. Have You Met the God

38. Frequent Flier

39. Messiah

40. Forgive and Forget

41. To Win or to lose

42. Call Girl

43. Beyond Blood Relation

44. Lady with a Black Car

45. My wife

46. Complete Woman

47. Diwali Gift

48. Romance with a Lady

49. Open Heart Surgery

50. My First Love

51. Replacement

52. Pebbles on My Way Home

53. My First Bengali Book

54. Murder Mystery

55. Niharika

56. Swapping

57. Make a Habit to Thank God

58. Killing of a Bird

59. The Hero

60. Fantasy versus Reality

61. The Party

62. Road Rage

63. Death of a Friend

64. Cannot Live with Memory Only

65. None Cares for Me

66. A Tribute to My Guru

67. Two Professionals

68. The Choice

69. The Elusive Spouse

70. First Encounter with A P

71. Plane Crash

72. Plane Crash Part-II

73. Plane Crash Part-III

74. Abducted

75. A Bag of Currency

76. Suitable Groom

77. Head Hunters

78. My Dear Sister

79. Selection While Waiting at the Airport

80. Oh Shit

81. Perverse

82. He Got Back His Wife

83. Beautiful Faces

84. Elder Sister

85. Good Morning

86. Prey

87. Pass on your Death to Someone Else

88. Colour of Holi

89. Why blame others

90. A Forbidden Issue

91. Hat-trick of Failures

92. Agony of Writers

93. Contrasts

94. Three Directors

95. An Unusual Love Affair

96. Birth Day

97. Do not Tell Anyone

98. Anupama

99. Late By Ten Years

100. Murder in a Foreign City

101. Strange Life

102. I love You Darling

103. Falsehood

104. Lady in the Park

105. Do Anything, I Shall comment

106. Professionalism

107. Art of Flirting

108. Are We Human

109. Old man and a Dog

110. Relation with Relatives

111. Sun and Cloud

112. My Second Lover

113. In a Meeting

114. Love at First Sight

115.A Psalm of Life

116.He Wants a Solution

117. Wings

118. Twenty-five Love Stories (Hard copy available)

119. Me and a Dozen Plus One Ghost Stories

120. Aparajeeta: Twenty Seven Short Stories (print edition is also available)

121. Nothing Official As Such

122. Illustrated Kids' Story

123. Hundred Ways to F & F your Popularity

124. Broken heart

125. Random Stories and Dilemma

126. A Phone Call

127. Revenge

128. Men, Women, Dogs and Bitches

129. Mera Pyar (Hindi)

130. Scandal

131. Anuradha

132. Looking for a wife at thirteen

133. Fenny My Hero

134. Frustration: How to Get Rid of It

135. Monster Father

136. Surprising Gift

137. Predator

138. Facts and Fiction

139. Father's Choice: A Story of True Love (Under print)

140. Philamazan: The Last Princess

141. Daughter

142. Bleeding Heart

143. Missing Daughter

144. Satarupa: The brave Lady

145. Me and My Family

146. Life and Death

147. Winning Heart of her Husband

148. Love and War

149. Causes of Divorce

150. Accidental Meeting

151. Plane Crash-IV

152. Accidental Heroine

153. Two Brothers

154. A Princess

155. The Disgraced Princess

156. Sleeplessness

157. Two Friends

158. Waiting at a Bus Stop

159. Incarnation of a Modern Devil

160. The Gift

161. For A Mere Cup Of Tea

162. I Shall Wait For You

163. How Much I Earn

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