- You guys
into video games at all?
[cheers and applause]
Yeah, oh, my God.
I play Call of--
You know, my issue
with Call of Duty,
those games, is that they're
based on, like, real wars.
Like, World War II and shit,
which feels weird to me,
'cause, like,
real people died,
and now I have
to kill them all over again.
So I have a moral problem.
I'm like,
"Boycott those games!"
But the new one came out,
and it looked so good.
I was like, "All right,
I wanna try it."
Then I found out
that one of the levels
in the new Call of Duty
is called "Karachi."
Yep, the city
I grew up in.
They're basically like,
"Your hometown
"is now a battlefield.
How many points
can you get, Kumail?"
But even with that,
I was able to convince myself,
you know, like,
I was like,
"I would have an advantage
over everybody."
I would know
all the places.
I would be like, "Hey, we could
hide in there, guys.
"I used to rent movies
at this place.
"Mr. Siddiqui
will give us shelter.
He once fixed my VCR
for free."
[cheers and applause]
"He didn't judge."
So I was gonna
go get it again.
Then I found out--
Okay, so the language they
speak in Pakistan is Urdu.
That's the name
of the language you speak, Urdu.
But all the street signs
in "Karachi" in Call of Duty
are in Arabic.
Yeah, it's a completely
different language.
And I know it does not
seem like a big deal,
but this game
took three years to make.
If you look at it,
the graphics are perfect.
You can see individual hair
on people's heads.
When they run,
they sweat.
When they run,
their shoelaces bounce.
All they had to do was Google
"Pakistan, language."
They were literally like,
"What language do they
speak in Pakistan?"
"I don't care.
I can't get
his sideburns even."
But it was on sale,
and I bought it.
It's so good!
Totally worth
selling out my people for.
