Like I say, for many many years, I was in denial. 
I wouldn't accept it. 
Because I wanted children. 
I live in Alberta, a rural part of Alberta, 
outside of Edmonton about an hour. 
And I love it. 
Because I've got wild animals coming in my yard all the time. I got a pet squirrel
named Sweet Pea. 
Since I was 21 I've been on my own.
Well, a couple of marriages in between. 
Kicked them out of my life, and live with my animals.
They don't talk back. 
Interviewer: Did you ever live at the Provincial Training School?
Yeah. For 10 years. 
From the age of 10 until just about 21. I think it was about 5
months before I turned 21. 
I was put in there by my mother. 
The nurses didn't mistreat me like my mother did. 
So, at the time that I was in there, 
it was a good place at the time, but I didn't realize
the damage that was being done until years and years later
of being in there. 
It's a little hard to think about that stuff. 
I was 14 and a half when I was sterilized but I
didn't know at the time that's what was happening. 
They told me they were taking my appendix out. Well, I never asked
questions. Back then I just did everything I was told. I never ever asked 
anybody questions. 
The Eugenics Board had to give approval. 
5 minutes in their office and we were out of there.
It took 5 minutes for them to decide to wreck our lives. 
And, I don't even know why they met with us,
because they had their minds made up. It was already stamped and cleared. 
How wrong, and how so many people 
to wreck other people's lives, and have no
thought of what they were doing to us. 
We were human beings we weren't cattle. LIke, they were literally, just like on a conveyor
belt throwing us through. 
They had their own medical building which was built the same year
I was in there, in '55. It was called the medical clinic. 
And they did it right there on the grounds, at the P.T.S.
Other people went to Ponoka
and had it done. 
And I did not know until I was
just about 22 that I was sterilized. 
And for years I was in denial and wouldn't accept it. 
I think it was in 1980 when I finally accepted it, the fact
that I was sterilized and nothing could be done to repair it. 
Interviewer: Leilani, how did you find out you'd been sterilized?
Leilani: I was close to 24, I believe it was. 
I went to the U of A [University of Alberta] hospital
and I saw a Dr. Goodwin there. 
And, 
I told him I wanted to have children and I was having trouble, eh, and
of course, they
have to ask questions, and, you know, they asked me what
the scar was on my stomach. I said, 'well they removed my appendix.'
Well, I didn't know any different. I wasn't told any different. 
And he says, 'they don't remove your appendix
from the stomach.' 
I said, 'well that's funny, they told me they did.'
And, they did a test
where they put the dye through you
to check all for all the tubing and stuff. 
And there was no tube there. There was about a quarter
of an inch of one tube on the left side. 
They had removed everything. 
I can say I fully recovered to the extent that I've gone on
with my life. I haven't dwelled
on it to bring me down. 
The hurt inside will always
be there because you've got that scar to remind you. You can't, you can't, escape it. 
It's there for life. You get in the shower, you get under a, you know, 
it's there for life. It's there forever. So, it's a constant reminder but
I don't let it, I don't dwell on it. 
I literally just, you know, I go on with life
and try and be as happy as I can and do things, 
I play poker with the ladies and, you know, just
keep an upbeat feeling all the time because 
you can't let this stuff drag you down otherwise I'd be back in another place
and I won't let anybody knock me down anymore. 
Well I think it's alright. Put a little gospel music in a back, Elvis singing 'Amazing Grace'
or something. yeah, that'd be nice. Or a country song. 
DId I mention that I was dropped off at the institution
and left at the steps, that I was thrown out like a piece of garbage by my mother?
That should be in there. Just chucked me out. 
Judy Lytton: Yeah, no kisses no hugs. 
One thing I recall is when I was put in the institution 
my mother threw me out of the car like a piece of garbage she didn't want, and that's
how I became a trainee at the institution. 
I wish I could get ahold of the people that did all this crap to all the kids in there, 
myself and everyone else. They don't realize the damage that they did
to a lot of people, and the hurt and the shame that we carried all our lives. 
