[Inaudible].
Hi, I'm Dr. John Demartini.
I'd like to take a moment to share with
you some insights that may have never
been conceived of,
or thought about relating to the
movement called self improvement
and the difference between
that. And self-development.
Now I'd like to make a distinction
here. There is in self-improvement,
there's a moral language.
You're assuming that you're making it
better or more positive or more good,
or some sort of a morally better
place. And in self development,
you're just being objective.
And you're understanding that there's
an expansion in your sphere of awareness
and influence,
not labelling it good or bad or
better or worse just of development,
like to make the distinction because
there's a literally a multibillion dollar
industry called self improvement.
There's also the same thing
with self development,
but I'd like to make the
distinctions and why I'm a promoter,
more of the self development
than the self-improvement.
Let me give you an example.
I was doing a presentation probably a
decade ago on how to be more effective and
efficient in business and how to be able
to have priorities and get things done
by priority and delegate
things, et cetera.
There was a gentleman there that
attended the program and he literally was
diligent and focused and
he took the information and
put it right back into his,
his business, the following week.
And he was working in a company
and his superiors, if you will,
in the company,
acknowledged him for the amazing
transformation and acknowledged him and
actually gave him a promotion
and an opportunity to take
on more accountability.
And they said to him, 'Ever since you
went to that seminar, without a doubt,
it catalyzed amazing
increase in productivity and
whatever it was, it
really made a difference.
You can see the difference from
that day forward.' And so his boss,
his superior was acknowledging him that
he really had made an improvement since
that seminar.
And so he was being praised at
work for the change that occurred
because they gave him skills that are
associated with the values of the leader
of that company. So in other words,
the values of the leader were perceived
as being supported by his new behaviors.
But what was interesting is, the
gentleman called me and he says,
'I'm very inspired by
that. I got a promotion,
I made more income and
everything else, but here's the,
but ever since I've done that, I've
had a desire to be more at work.
And I've been less focused at
home with my wife and my kids.
And my wife has been really bitching
at me and she's really upset with me.
And she says that ever since
I went to that seminar,
you've been basically sidetracked and
you've been not focused at there and
you've lost your priorities.
And you've got away with what's
really important.' And in her values,
which were the kids, he had dis-improved,
he'd actually deteriorated in her mind.
And so her values saw dis-improvement.
The boss's value saw improvement.
So the net was that he was,
he was developing a support over here
and praise over here and over here,
at home, he was getting
reprimands. So which one is it?
Is it improvement or
dis-improvement? I gave information.
I helped him develop a skill.
One person labeled it good.
One person labeled it bad. The
real truth is it's neither.
It's just a skill. That's a
distinction between self development,
he's developing new skills
and self-improvement,
which is an assumption of supporting
some individual's value system.
Yale university showed,
and many others in history have shown
that for every person with a set of values
in the world, there's
somebody with an opposite set.
That's why we have pro this and
anti this, pro guns and anti guns,
pro life and anti life kind
of things. There's always a,
what they call a law of eristic
escalation, a pair of opposites in nature.
And for every person that has
a value, those set of values,
there will be somebody with an opposite
set. You see this in your own family.
You probably have a brother and sister
that's quite different than you with a
totally different set of values.
What you think is important.
I think it's not important. So as a
result of that, no matter what you do,
no matter what you develop,
you're going to have people label
you as improved or dis-improved,
better or worse.
I don't pay much attention to those
because you're always having a pair of
opposites. I want to be objective
about the information and say,
I'm developing a skill. I'm
training you on how to have a skill,
and you're going to develop those skills,
but to put a moral language on it,
better or worse, good or bad improved
or dis-improved, I think is futile.
So I'm not in the self development.
I'm in the self development industry,
more so than the
self-improvement industry,
but I will have people thinking what I've
done in the development process is an
improvement or dis-improvement based on
whether it supports or challenges their
individual values. You're going to be
supported and challenged in your life,
no matter what you do,
you will see that all you have to do is
look careful and you'll see all the way
from childhood all the
way through your life,
you're going to be
supported and challenged,
people are going to like and dislike.
Agree and disagree, cooperate,
and compete. You're
going to have both sides.
You have a brain set up with an autonomic
nervous system, prepare for that.
You're designed for that,
but I don't use the term self-Improvement
because they think that's implying
that you're now going to build pride
and you're going to get better and this,
but that's only in some individuals value
system and it may not even be in your
own value system.
So I'm a firm believer in
developing objective data
and basically increasing the
development of a human being more so
than putting a moral language on it,
which I know is self-defeating
because the second you do,
you're going to feel proud of one.
And then you're going to get hurt when
somebody challenges you and you end up
creating almost a bipolar
response. I'm proud when I,
and I want to hang
around with these people.
And I feel shamed if I hang
around these people, to me,
don't get attached to those and
don't use the language that,
just say that I'm developing a skill.
It's assisting me in
accomplishing these things.
I'm going to have different
perspectives around it,
they're going to project
their values onto me,
and I'll be labeled good or bad and
supported or challenged accordingly.
So the distinction
between self-improvement,
which is a moral language
and self development,
which is an objective observation of
the change in skills and behaviors,
I'd rather make that distinction.
So I'm not really in the self-improvement
business because people come out of my
seminars with people liking it.
And some people disliking the outcomes
because they may go out and achieve
something. And friends may,
all of a sudden be left behind because
they're no longer having time for that
because they're achieving on new
levels. And these people may label, 'ah,
ever since you went to that seminar,
you've gotten too good for yourself' and
other people over here. It says, 'man,
you've really grown and expanded'.
I don't put the attachment
again to the moralities of it.
I just go into develop the individual
and help them achieve their inner most
dominant thought.
So there's a self development industry
and a self improvement industry.
I'm part of the self development industry.
Thank you for joining me
for this presentation today.
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