>>> WE NOW RETURN TO "BULK OF
THE PAST" WITH LOOK BACK AT THIS
1962 PERFORMANCE OF "THE BOB
RODGERS SHOW."
>> THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
AND WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
TONIGHT'S SPONSOR IS GREEN
JELL-O.
IT'S A VEGETABLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NOW FOR MY COMEDY MONOLOGUE.
MY UGLY WIFE SHOPS TOO MUCH.
ALL RIGHT.
I'D LIKE TO GIVE A WARM WELCOME
TO OUR NEXT ACT, A FOLK TRIO
THAT'S BEEN SWEEPING THE NATION
WITH THEIR CHART-TOPPING
LULLABIES ABOUT LIFE.
PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR
PETER, PAULA AND MURRAY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
>> HI, EVERYONE.
DID YOU KNOW THAT OVER THE
COURSE OF OUR LIVES WE SPEND
38 DAYS BRUSHING OUR TEETH?
>> WE SPENT 48 DAYS MAKING LOVE,
AND THREE FULL YEARS SITTING IN
TRAFFIC.
>> WE EACH HAVE ONE LIFE TO LIVE
ON THIS EARTH, AND WE MEASURE IT
IN NUMBERS.
AND THAT'S WHY WE WROTE THIS
SONG.
♪ I SPENT, ONE, TWO
THREES YEARS
CURLING MY HAIR
THAT'S ALREADY CURLY
♪ THREE YEARS THINKING
I LOOK GOOD IN HATS
FOUR YEARS STARING
AT MY PENIS IN THE MIRROR ♪
♪ FIVE LONG YEARS
WAITING FOR YOU
I SPENT ONE, TWO
THREE YEARS ♪
♪ HIDING FROM PEOPLE
I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO
THREE YEARS THINKING MAINE
WAS A TOWN IN VERMONT ♪
♪ FOUR YEARS TRYING
TO HOLD IN MY FARTS
IN PUBLIC
FIVE LONG YEARS ♪
♪ WAITING FOR YOU
>> YOU KNOW, ON THIS MUSICAL
TOUR, WE'VE DRIVEN 500 MILES AND
STAYED IN 82 HOTELS.
>> I DRIVE OUR FOLK BUS AT 15
MILES PER HOUR ON THE HIGHWAY.
AND I'VE GOTTEN 200 PARKING
TICKETS.
>> LAST NIGHT I SAW FIVE
SHOOTING STARS, AND I SLEPT WITH
A MAN 32 YEARS MY SENIOR.
♪ I'VE SPENT ONE, TWO
THREE YEARS WONDERING IF
MY CLOSE FRIENDS HATE ME
THREE YEARS PRETENDING♪ ♪ TO BE
FRENCH, BONJOURE
FOUR YEARS WITH A GOATEE
THAT SAID
I'M A VIRGIN MAGICIAN ♪
♪ FIVE LONG YEARS
WAITING FOR YOU
I SPENT $1,000 ON THE CAT
THAT SCRATCHED ME ♪
♪ RIGHT IN MY CORNEA
$2,000 ON A PONTOON BOAT
THAT LED TO A DIVORCE
3 THOU ON A FINE FOR SHOWING MY
JUNK AT A LITTLE LEAGUE GAME ♪
FIVE THOU DOLLARS
LOOKING FOR MY LAST VIEW ♪
♪ AND SPENT ONE, TWO YEARS
EATING PIZZA IN THE DARK
LIKE THERE WAS A GUN
TO MY HEAD ♪
♪ THREE YEARS
CHANGING THE DIAPERS OF A
KID EMANCIPATED FROM ME
FOUR YEARS PRETENDING ♪
♪ TO BE SICK WHILE
I WAS IN THE ARMY
FIVE LONG YEARS
WAITING FOR YOU ♪
>> OUR GROUP HAS BEEN TOGETHER
TWO DECADES.
WE'VE LOST FOUR ADDITIONAL
MEMBERS TO CULTS AND ORTHODOX
RELIGIONS.
>> WE'VE SPENT SO MUCH TIME
TOGETHER IN THE VAN WE SHARE
EVERYTHING.
HAIR BRUSHES, HATS, HEAD LICE.
>> I DATED PETER FOR 12 YEARS.
AND I KISSED HER ONCE.
BUT I STILL THINK ABOUT IT EVERY
DAY.
>> ME, TOO.
>> ME, TOO.
♪ I SPENT EIGHT, NINE
TEN YEARS MARRIED TO
THE PERSON I KNOW YOU --
15 YEARS ♪
♪ TAKING BIRTH CONTROL TO
HAVE SEX WITH NO ONE
18 YEARS RAISING A SON
THAT DOES STAND-UP ♪
♪ ABOUT MY PAINTING
FIVE LONG YEARS
WE'VE SPENT ONE, TWO
THREE WEEKS ♪
♪ WEARING A TAMPON I FORGOT
I HAD IN THERE
TEN YEARS WITH A DOG
THAT TURNED ♪
♪ OUT TO BE A RAT
12 HOURS STANDING
ON A BRIDGE SAYING
"DO IT YOU COWARD" ♪
♪ FIVE LONG YEARS WAITING
FOR YOU
I SPENT ONE, TWO
THREE YEARS HAVING
DINNER WITH MY FAMILY ♪
♪ 100 DAYS LAUGHING
AND 200 WAITING
IN LINE FIVE YEARS
IMAGINING A THREESOME ♪
♪ WITH MY BAND MATES
FIVE LONG YEARS
WAITING FOR
FIVE LONG YEARS ♪
♪ ALL MY YEARS
WAITING FOR YOU ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
