[sad music]
I can't do it anymore!
Please, don't make me play it!
Please don't make me play it!
I wanna tell them about the game, but I just
don't want to play it.
I can't do it anymore.
I just can't do it anymore.
[sad music]
Hey everyone!
I'm GameStach.
I was so excited about Cooking Simulator.
I had seen the trailer, the gameplay and it
looked all just really good.
Then it got delayed.
I believe, twice.
And now it is finally out and ...
I just can't
play it anymore.
Five hours.
Then is when the rage hit me.
Five hours.
So let me tell you about the five hours I
played this game.
Let's start with some footage right before
I started playing.
Ooooh, flashback, fashback!
Hey everyone, my name is GameStach and I'm
so happy to finally be able to play Cooking
Simulator.
This game has been in development for some
time and I just really really want to play
this.
So let's just get started.
I look really happy right?
Well, that's about to change.
As I've been shitting over all games I've
reviewed so far, uhm, let me start with some
positive points first.
Playing this game for the first couple of
hours is actually really fun, believe it or
not.
This game has some interesting physics.
It's fun to learn how to pick things up and
lay things down.
You can spill stuff and then you have to clean
it up with a sponge, and that is quite satisfying.
Hmm ...
Okay, that about sums up all the positive
things about this game.
Time to get back to being a sarcastic asshole.
So the first thing you notice when you start
playing this game, is that you fly across
the kitchen like some goddamn ballerina.
And I'm not exaggerating, I mean there are
a lot of people that have the same issue as
I have.
Let's take a look at some Steam reviews that
mention the same things as I do.
Overall seems like it can become a decent
game, if only the controls and camera were fixed.
The controls are infuriating.
The most basic tasks take so much effort.
I couldn't get past the frustrating controls.
But even though aiming and walking is a bit
strange at first, you'll eventually get used
to it.
It's the least of your problems.
Now let's discuss the first thing you do when
you start a new campaign.
That is actually repairing something.
Looks like the last owner left the place in
a st- oh.
What the hell is going on here?
Get the phone, we need to call some professionals.
I mean that isn't the first thing that I would
let players do when they're playing a Cooking
Simulator, but this is of course just a minor
thing that annoys me.
Then, after some time, you start with your
first recipe and that is pretty fun.
It is fun to learn what the mechanics are,
how to use salt and pepper and such, but even
cooking gets stale after some time.
But not even that is my biggest concern with
this game.
What pisses me off SO ...
FUCKING ...
MUCH
...
is how all ingredients, pans, basically
everything you interact with, gets launched
as a fucking NASA rocket when you only touch
it a tiny bit too much.
One, zero, all engines running ...
Lift-off!
We have a lift-off!
Be more careful then, you would say.
Well, that also doesn't work.
Take look here for example.
Here I'm trying to flip some salmon.
And, oh shit, it falls incorrectly.
Okay, hmm, let's try to pick up the pan like
an actual chef and use that to turn the salmon
around.
Oh no, there it is, it got launched into fucking
outer space, just like my potatoes.
This just doesn't work.
In a game where depth perception is super
important, you can not make it not clear where
you spatula is.
The same problem occurs when you're trying
to pour soup into a bowl.
I mean, is the pot above the plat?
Well, you tell me!
Who knows!
Take a wild guess!
I certainly don't know.
Also carrying things on a plate, or placing
your finished dish on a plate doesn't work.
Here is also a Steam review about that.
Plating dishes is a real problem.
There is no real way to lay out food items
on the plate, which is a bit disappointing,
hard to present a quality looking dish.
Because if you only move your plate slightly,
then whoops, there it goes, everything falls
to the floor.
Oh, and I just got five stars!
Wow!
Guests apparently don't taste it when my food
has been on the floor.
And I get that it was delayed, since only
the first couple of recipes are correct.
I mean, take a look at this one.
What am I supposed to do here?
I mean, it sure does look like I should blend
it, but ... it doesn't say that.
So hey, I don't know!
And I'm not the only one who doesn't seem
to like the game.
PewDiePie also made a video about this game
and while his goal is to make fun video and
not a review, you can see that he is not enjoying
himself.
And in my opinion you can also see that he
is annoyed by the same things as I am.
Just take a look at some small segments from
his video.
Okay, well that's good enough.
Hey, maybe I can use the blender!
I wonder if that works.
Move vertically ...
Yeah, alright, that doesn't
work.
Oh, we can put it in the food processor!
Put it in gently.
Gently.
Put it in gently.
Now they will be chopped.
Cool, they all disappeared.
Are you kidding me?
... onions sucked up in your dishes, when
you get a plastic board, but THIS GAME SUCKS,
so this will do.
Alright.
Put you down there.
Excellent.
Now let's cook those motherfucking onions.
Cool, that makes sense.
Why the fuck is there a shelf there?
Are you kidding me?
I'm just really disappointed, because I really
wanted to like this game.
On Steam most of the reviews are positive,
so this is probably not a very popular opinion,
but I just don't like the game.
I just can't enjoy it.
So I can only advice you guys think really
carefully before buying this game.
Because even though it looks fun, it can annoy
you very quickly.
But hey, if you don't agree with me, just
let me know what you think down in the comments
below!
Subscribe if you enjoyed this video, thank
you very much for watching, and I'll see you
next time!
