 
Better Left Unsaid

Misty Reigenborn

Copyright 2012 By Misty Reigenborn

Smashwords Edition

Cover Image courtesy of [Imagerymajestic] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Kimber

Kimber met her blue eyes in the mirror. She fought tears and realized that she could no longer keep her secret from her husband. She loved Luke and didn't want to lose him, especially when she was pregnant and she had let him come home after his affair with his ex-girlfriend, but she knew that she had to tell him.

Kimber looked at her stomach and placed her hand protectively over it. Her stomach was still relatively flat since she was only four months into her pregnancy, but she could feel the life within her. The child that may or may not belong to her beloved husband.

When she had first found out about her pregnancy, she had thought that one night of passion was not worth screwing up her marriage, especially after she had forgiven him for his affair which had not just been one night. But she could hardly look Luke in the eye anymore and she was afraid that her stress was going to carry over to the child that she carried.

Luke was out. He had been writing songs with a frenzied passion since she had let him return home and had managed to run out of the only paper that he would write them on yet again. Their daughter Alexis was staying with a neighbor overnight. Bunny went to the same school that Alexis did. Kimber had been very tempted to move her to another school when she'd found out that the woman Luke had had an affair with had been not only his ex, but their daughter's teacher. But their daughter loved her school and her friends and Kimber hadn't had the heart to take it away from her.

Kimber took a deep breath and let it out as she heard the front door open and close. Luke called up to her "Babe are you home?"

Kimber bit her lip. Luke had convinced her to hire someone to run the bookstore she owned while she was pregnant. She missed it sometimes but she trusted the women that were working there and she felt like she had already missed so much of seeing Alexis grow. She cleared her throat.

"Yes Luke, I'm home."

She heard his footsteps on the stairs. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. She feared that she was on the verge of a panic attack and took several deep breaths and let them out slowly before he had reached her.

Luke took one look at her and took her into his arms. Luke had such strong arms. She had always felt so safe and protected when she was in their circle. She liked that he was tall and muscular, because Kimber herself was 5'9 and wasn't super skinny when she wasn't pregnant and had grown tired of feeling so big next to the men that she dated.

Luke pulled back slightly and she made herself look into his hazel eyes.

"Babe is everything okay? Is something wrong with the baby? I thought you didn't have another appointment with the doctor until next week." Luke placed his hand on her stomach.

Kimber put her hand over his. He was such a wonderful father. He had been so happy when she'd told him she was pregnant, and now she was going to take all of that away from him. "I need to tell you something Luke."

His face was still full of concern as he took her hand and led her to their bed. "Sit down honey. You look like you're going to be sick."

She sat down with him and let him rub her back. His hands felt so good. She wondered how he would react to her news. And he wasn't the only one she had to tell either. She put her head to his chest for a minute and breathed in his scent. Luke had always smelled just the way she thought a man should smell. She loved him so much sometimes she felt like she could hardly breathe when she was around him.

It had broken her heart when she had found out he was cheating, especially since he wasn't the one that had told her. But the man that had told her was a big part of her problem. She had had sex with the husband of the woman that Luke had cheated with. Sex without protection. And now, she didn't know whether she carried the child of her husband or her one-night lover.

Tears started to fall down her face. Luke took her face in his hand and tipped it to make her look at him. "Sweetheart what is wrong? Tell me. You know you can tell me anything."

Kimber shook her head. Her voice sounded to her like she had eaten a handful of broken glass when she said "Not this Luke."

A look of caution crossed over her husband's handsome face. "Kimber, what are you talking about?"

She knew she had to just let it out or she was never going to make it through telling him. "I had sex with Paul."

Confusion entered his eyes. "Sierra's Paul?"

Kimber almost made a face at the woman's name, but she managed to keep her face a careful blank. Her tears had stopped, but she still felt like she had a lump so big in her throat that she would never be able to swallow past it.

"Yes, Sierra's Paul."

"I guess I don't have a lot to say since I slept with Sierra. But why are you telling me this now babe? You don't need to worry about something like this when you're pregnant. It was only one time wasn't it?"

Kimber wondered how he could take the whole thing so casually. Sierra and Paul had left town. Luke claimed that he was the one that had broken it off with her, but Kimber sometimes wondered if he still thought of her, if she would always be the one that he would rather be with. It felt like some kind of punishment to think that her husband had asked another woman to marry him before her and had carried a torch for her for years since their relationship had been left feeling unfinished.

"Luke, it kinda bugs me that you're taking this so casually. I certainly didn't feel one bit casual when I found out you were sleeping with her. It felt like someone tore my heart out and spit on it. To know that I was always your second choice, to think that if she would have said yes to you when you proposed I would never have met you and we wouldn't have Alexis, gives me feelings I can't describe."

Luke kissed her, slowly and gently. "How could the most beautiful woman in the world ever be my second choice? I screwed up babe and it kills me to think of how much I hurt you. But you were never my second choice. Sierra and I walked away from what we had. We were fools to think we had any right to try to bring something back alive that had died long before."

"But it obviously hadn't died Luke. You made love to her when she was pregnant with her husband's child."

Luke brushed her hair back from her face. "I made love to you right up until you had Alexis. Our love making was what sent you into labor remember?"

She knew that he was trying to tease her back into a good mood, but it was still bugging her that he seemed to want to sweep the whole thing under the rug. Not that she hadn't wanted to do the same thing herself, and not that she obviously hadn't for weeks now. But she doubted that he would feel the same way when she told him it could be Paul's child she was carrying.

"This isn't a joke Luke. I had sex with Paul. Without a condom."

Luke sighed. "I don't want to stir shit up, but I had sex with Sierra without a condom too. Not that it mattered because she was already pregnant." He looked at her and awareness dawned on his face. "Kimber you're telling me this because the child you're carrying might not be mine aren't you?"

Kimber couldn't look at him anymore. The tears started to flow again. "Yes."

"And you've waited this long to tell me? Were you going to bother telling me at all?"

Kimber turned back to him. There was anger in his voice, but she was starting to feel it too. He wasn't exactly innocent either she thought. "Would you ever have bothered to tell me that you had slept with Sierra if she hadn't told Paul and he hadn't told me? From what Paul told me, it didn't sound like she would have told him unless he had walked in on her trying on the engagement ring that you bought her."

"Paul is a damned idiot. He has a beautiful wife and he made her feel unattractive while she was pregnant with his child. I know how self-conscious you were about your body when you were pregnant with Alexis. But you were always beautiful to me and there was no way I would have ever let you think that I didn't think you were sexy because you had a child inside of you. My child. Why would you have wanted to sleep with someone like that? From what Sierra said, it doesn't sound like Paul likes sex."

"You didn't answer my question Luke. Would you have told me about her?"

"Eventually."

Kimber snorted. "Eventually? When? When Alexis was eighteen and it no longer matter if I kicked you out of the house? I was pissed off when I found out you were screwing her, but you are a wonderful, devoted father Luke. There is no way that I would have kept you away from our daughter."

"How in the hell was I supposed to know that Kimber? You think you know a woman and then she turns around and says or does something so off the wall that you wonder if you're living in the same realm of reality as her. I love you. I cherish every moment I've had with you, good and bad. Our daughter is a gift from above, this perfect child that came from two people who are obviously nowhere near perfect. But to think that you were going to pass off another man's child as mine, the feeling is absolutely indescribable."

"So you would have let me think you were faithful just to make sure that you could be a father? That's disgusting."

Luke gave her a look that was full of pain and anger and betrayal. "What do you call it when you plan to pass another man's child off as your husband's? You know, you're nowhere near the first woman that has done that though. And how many women have gotten away with it? If you fuck some guy that is similar in coloring and looks to you, or to your husband-damn you're golden. Doesn't matter who's the real father of your baby. Let your husband think that the kid's his. YOU'RE disgusting Kimber. I have to go."

He took his wedding ring off and tossed it onto the night stand. "I don't know if I'll be back. If I'm gone too long, I'll call you and we'll talk about setting something up so that I can see Alexis."

He turned to walk away.

"Luke, wait. I had sex with Paul once. The chances are still better that the baby belongs to you. I told you because I couldn't stand the guilt anymore."

Luke turned back to her. All expression was now gone from his face. "I realize that I probably don't have a right to feel the way that I'm feeling right now because I started this whole thing. I admit that. I called Sierra. She may have been the one that made the first move when we made love, but I could have stopped it. Seeing her stirred up all these old feelings and she was so lost. I couldn't let her think that she wasn't beautiful because her husband's a damned moron."

"So that's your excuse? You made love to her because you couldn't let a pregnant woman think that she wasn't beautiful?"

"Kimber that is such a stupid question. You make it sound like I go out and look for pregnant women that have idiots for husbands and boyfriends and have sex with them to make them feel better about themselves. That was hardly the case. Sierra was my first love. I never loved a woman the way that I loved her until I met you. When I met you, I knew that there was a reason that Sierra had turned me down when I proposed. And that reason was you. I knew that you were the woman that I was meant to be with. And now you stab me in the heart and stir up a bunch of shit that we were just really starting to get past. Don't think that I didn't notice you watching me for weeks after I came home to see if I was checking other women out. I don't need another woman. You are my heart, my soul. You are beautiful and smart and kind and you are the world's best mother. How could I want to be with another woman when I have you?"

"You sure as hell wanted to be with Sierra. You didn't say that you had sex with her. You said that you made love to her. You still love her."

"So what if I do? It doesn't mean that I would have ever been such an idiot that I would have gone to find her. I wouldn't have broken up her family. She loves Paul. She just couldn't stand the fact that he doesn't like sex. It's one thing when you're a man and your wife doesn't want to have sex with you. Married guys get comfortable. Sometimes they get fat and don't think that they need to worry about pleasing their woman in the ways that they did before they got married. Men are idiots. If you choose to spend your life with a woman, you need to treat her right and make sure that she always knows she's loved and cherished, especially in the bedroom. Sex should get better after marriage, because you're supposed to be making a promise to spend the rest of your life with someone. But marriage doesn't seem to mean 'til death do us part anymore. It seems to mean 'til divorce does us part. When you're a woman, and your man doesn't want to have sex with you, you think that you're not good enough or that you're not attractive. If your own husband doesn't want you, why should you think that any man wants you? It's different for women."

"You're making excuses for what you did. I had sex with Paul. That's all it was."

"I hope your sex was good enough that it was worth ruining two marriages over."

Luke turned and walked out of the room. Kimber threw his pillow at the door. "Fuck you Luke. If you hadn't been so hot to screw your ex-girlfriend in the first place, this would never have happened. I never thought about cheating on you before that."

"If you had used a condom, or hadn't ended up pregnant Kimber, it wouldn't bug me so much. I know I fucked up. You saw how I took the news when you told me you had sex with him. It hurts, but I can't say shit. This is different. You are pregnant and the child you're carrying may not belong to me. This isn't just our problem either. If this kid is Paul's don't you think he has a right to know too? I think you have a phone call to make."

She heard his footsteps retreat down the stairs, and then the front door opened and then slammed shut. She heard his car start and then roar out of the driveway. She lay back on the bed and let the tears flow.

She cried for what seemed like forever. Then she got up and used the bathroom. She washed her hands and her face and then went back to the bedroom. She had Paul and Sierra's home phone number written on a pad in the nightstand drawer. She wasn't sure whether telling Paul would be better or worse than telling Luke had been, but she knew she had to do it all the same.

She took a deep breath and then let it out. She picked up her cell phone and dug the number out of the drawer and dialed the number into her phone with a shaky hand.

A woman's voice answered on the third ring. Kimber knew she had to be speaking to the other woman that her husband loved.

"Hello."

Kimber cleared her throat. "Um, is Paul there?"

"No, he's still at work. May I ask who's calling?"

Kimber wasn't sure what to say. "Um."

"Just a second please. I need to get my baby. He's wailing like the world is going to end."

"Okay." Kimber waited with a pounding heart for the other woman to come back to the line. She was tempted to hang up, but that would have made her feel like more of a coward than she already did.

"You still there?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I have a piece of paper to take down your name and your number. Go ahead whenever you're ready."

"Um, this is Paul's wife right?"

"Yes." A cautious note had entered her voice. "This is Sierra Brooks and I am Paul's wife. Did something happen to him? Well, I guess not since you're calling to talk to him. Can I ask what's going on?"

"I don't mean to sound rude but I really need to talk to Paul. Is it okay if I call back? What time do you think he'll be home from work?"

"He's going out for drinks afterwards I think, so he probably won't be home until seven thirty or so. Are you sure you don't want to leave your name and your number so he can call you back?"

Kimber took a deep breath and then let it out. Her heart didn't stop pounding. She knew that if she didn't calm down, she was going to be in the grip of a panic attack before she knew it. With the anxiety she'd been feeling since she'd realized she had to tell Luke the truth, she was becoming more and more concerned about the stress she was putting on the baby.

"My name is Kimber Stone. My phone number is 555-818-0246."

"Kimber Stone. 555-818-0246."

"Yes. Thank you." Kimber started to hang up the phone, not believing that Sierra didn't recognize her name.

"Wait. Hold on a sec. Kimber Stone. As in Luke's wife?"

"I am Luke's wife yes."

"This might not be any of my business. Wait, what in the hell am I saying? He's my husband so it is my business. I don't mean to sound like a bitch, especially since I had an affair with your husband, but why are you calling mine?"

"Sierra, I'm not trying to be rude, and I'm sure that everything will be explained to you, but I can't talk to you about this without talking to Paul first."

Sierra let out a harsh laugh. "You fucked my husband didn't you?"

Kimber had a sudden urge to laugh too. "You sure as hell fucked mine. But no, he called it making love. I have to go Sierra. I'll call back later."

Kimber hung up her phone. Her phone rang almost immediately but she let it ring because she could see from the caller ID that it was Sierra.

She didn't want to deal with Paul's betrayed wife. She didn't think that Sierra had the right to feel so betrayed when Luke had said she had made the first real move to cement their affair, but then again, the other woman didn't know that there was a possibility that she was carrying Paul's child either.

Her phone rang several more times. She glanced at the caller ID each time, hoping that it might be Luke, but it never was. She fell asleep. When she awoke it was dark outside and the clock on her nightstand read 10:15.

"Damn."

Kimber used the restroom, washed her hands and then went back to the bedroom. She picked up her cell phone. Paul hadn't called her back but Luke had called her several times. She dialed his cell phone number but it went straight to voice mail. She didn't bother to leave a message.

She wished she had Paul's cell phone number so that she could call him and not have to face the chance of having to talk to his wife again, but cell phone numbers weren't listed the way that land lines were. She'd been glad that they had a home phone and that it was listed in the phone book, and that Paul had told her where they were moving and that she'd remembered.

She went downstairs and made herself a light supper. She was glad that Alexis was gone, because she didn't think she could face her daughter's inquiries as to where her father was. Their daughter was so young. She had lied to her when Luke had been gone before. How can you explain to a three-year-old that her father is gone because Mommy kicked him out for sleeping with another woman? But Kimber knew that she had screwed things up even worse than before.

She did her few dishes and then went back upstairs and took a long hot bath. It didn't make her feel any better, but it did make her sleepy. Though when she put her pajamas on and crawled back into bed, she tossed and turned for hours before she fell asleep.

Paul

When Paul walked in the door after work he expected to find a smiling wife and a baby that was happy to see him. Instead, he found his pretty wife looking like her face was set in stone. Her emerald eyes looked like they wanted to shoot daggers straight through his head.

He picked their son up out of the playpen and dropped a kiss on top of his blonde head. Nathan looked up at him and smiled. "Da."

Paul smiled. "That's right. At least somebody is glad to see Daddy." He turned back to his wife. "Why the long face beautiful?"

"We had an interesting phone call today. I'll talk to you about it after the baby's asleep." Sierra crossed the room and took Nathan from his arms and without another word, carried him with her up the stairs.

Paul sighed as he looked at his wife's retreating back. Sierra had quite a temper. He wondered what he could possibly have done to piss her off this time. A nagging thought entered the back of his mind, but he tried to brush it away. There was no way in hell she could have found out about his night of passion with Kimber, the wife of the man that Sierra had had her own affair with.

They hadn't exactly agreed not to tell their respective spouses, but it had hardly seemed like a good idea to him to stir the pot of shit again when he had just decided to take Sierra back and get them the hell away from the town where she had run into her old lover. Sierra claimed that if Paul had made love to her then the way he made love to her now, that she wouldn't have run straight into Luke's arms when she was pregnant with his child, but Paul had never been completely sure if he'd believed it.

The day he had broken the news to Kimber, he had wanted to kiss her so badly, to make Sierra feel a fraction of the pain he'd been feeling since she had confessed her affair to him. But he hadn't even been able to do that. He'd felt pathetic, not like a man at all. But they had certainly had hot passionate sex when he'd gone back to the bookstore to tell Kimber that they were leaving town and that she would no longer have to worry about Sierra turning her husband's head.

He knew that his wife was beautiful. He saw the way other men checked her out when they were out together, even when she was pushing a stroller and wearing her wedding ring and their hands were joined. When he had first decided to go back home after learning of her affair, he had watched his wife like a hawk to see if she was looking at other men the way they looked at her.

But she didn't look at other men. She might admire one now and again, but he knew she was only human. And she seemed perfectly oblivious to the fact that so many men noticed how sexy she was even if she hadn't lost all of the weight from her pregnancy. He thought that the ten pounds or so that had hung on after she'd had Nathan made her look even more like a woman.

Sierra had always turned him on so much that he'd thought his carefully controlled hormones were going crazy. He enjoyed sex. It had just always seemed to him that too many relationships were about sex first and foremost. He had been half in love with Sierra before he had gotten the courage to ask her out. He had never wanted her to believe that he only wanted to be with her because she was beautiful.

Paul went to the kitchen. He'd eaten dinner already. Sierra wasn't much of a cook and he didn't think that was ever really going to change. But he didn't care. He could cook just fine.

He grabbed a beer from the fridge and took it back to the living room with him. He wanted to get out of his work clothes, but he didn't want to bug Sierra further. When she was mad at him, she didn't want him anywhere near her until she said so. And she'd certainly seemed plenty mad at him.

Their home phone rang. He picked it up from the coffee table, not bothering to look at the caller ID. He figured that it was probably a salesman, though their number was on the do not call list. Not much of anyone called their home phone anymore.

"Hello."

"Is this Paul?"

The male voice on the other end of the line was slurred. "This is Paul. Who is this?"

"The husband of the woman who is knocked up with your baby."

Paul's heart felt like it had jumped into his throat. He knew that it had to be Luke. He certainly hadn't slept with another woman besides his own wife. He couldn't believe that Kimber was pregnant though.

"You still there asshole?"

Paul sighed. "I'm still here."

"Did you enjoy fucking my wife? If you're supposed to be such a smart guy why in the hell didn't you stop long enough to think about using a rubber? I know she's beautiful, but damn dude you two got us all into a big mess. Huge."

Paul snorted. "You fucked my wife first."

"I didn't fuck your wife. She was my girl first and it's not my fault you're such an idiot that you couldn't please her in the bedroom. I made love to Sierra because I love Sierra. How do you like that? My wife said that you fucked her though, so take that and shove it."

"You disgust me Luke. If you want my wife so damned bad you can have her. I think she still loves you anyway. I'm never going to live up to her idealized memory of you so why bother?"

"You really are an idiot. I'm drunk off my ass and I can still see more clearly than you can. You can love more than one person. Even if we would have parted differently, Sierra and I wouldn't have stopped loving each other. Where we messed up was we acted on it. She loves you and I love Kimber. I am with the woman that I want to be with, the woman that I was meant to be with. And for some strange reason Sierra seems to think that you're the guy for her. But just when we got past all of the bullshit you had to fuck my wife and get her pregnant."

"How do you know the baby isn't yours?"

"I don't know that asshole. You really are an asshole. I can't believe you told me I could have your wife. I sure as shit wouldn't give you mine. Then again I don't think I can raise your kid either. So it's looks like we're all in a bunch of shit huh? How are you going to tell Sierra?"

"I have no idea how I'm going to tell Sierra."

Sierra happened to walk into the room right then. "You have no idea how you're going to tell me what Paul?"

Paul looked up at his wife. He hoped that the panic he felt wasn't showing in his eyes. "Just a minute honey. Let me finish this conversation and then we'll talk."

"Who's on the phone Paul? Is it Kimber? You did screw her didn't you?" She picked up the pillow from the couch and hit him with it. "Asshole."

"It's not Kimber on the phone."

"Who is it then? Is it Luke?" She reached for the phone. "Let me talk to him."

"No. The last thing we need is for you two to get started again."

"You're an idiot Paul. I wouldn't have slept with him if you hadn't made me feel like you didn't want me anymore; as if Nathan was the only reason you wanted me around. I'm not a baby carrier. I'm your wife. Give me the damned phone."

Sierra grabbed the phone out of his hand. "Luke?"

Luke

When Luke heard her voice, he felt tears fill his eyes. He grabbed his cigarettes from where they were sitting on the bar, left a tip and took his phone outside.

"Si."

"What the hell is going on? I guess it's pretty obvious that my husband had sex with your wife, but there's something else isn't there? What the hell can we say when we had sex a bunch of times? I'm guessing they only did it once. Or maybe not. Are they still messing around? Luke please tell me."

"Honey, I think you should let Paul tell you. It's not my place."

"Luke, you were the first man that I loved. You made me feel good about myself when I thought that no one could. We screwed up royally when we started sleeping together again and we both know it. There was a time when I thought that I would have left Paul for you if you had asked me to, but I couldn't have done that. I love Paul. Paul is uptight and he's never gonna like sex as much as I do, but he's my man and he's the one I was meant to be with. Why can't they understand that we can still love each other and not love them any less?"

Luke sighed. "I don't know babe. This is a mess. I'd tell you darlin' but it really needs to come from your husband."

"This is bad isn't it? Oh Luke."

"Honey, I'm gonna let you go now. I hope everything is going well for you. Bye Si. Take care."

Luke hung up the phone before she could say another word. He lit a cigarette and crossed the parking lot to his car. He knew that he shouldn't be driving, but the motel he had checked into was only a few blocks away from the bar and he was sure he could make it.

He made it the motel with no problems. He got out of his car, locked it, unlocked the door to his room and entered. It was not where he wanted to be. He wanted to be in his own bed, with his wife beside him. The weeks apart from her during their first separation after his affair with Sierra had come to light, from their beautiful daughter, had been hell. And now, he wasn't sure if he could ever go home. His love for Kimber was a powerful thing, but he didn't know whether love was enough when it came to raising another man's child.

He didn't like the way he had left things with her though and he thought that he'd really like to talk to her before he went to sleep. He'd left his wedding ring because he was being an asshole. He'd thought at first that he could go out and sleep with another woman and feel better. Women had hit on him at the bar. But he hadn't been able to look at any of them and not see her face. He knew he was fooling himself thinking that a night with another woman would change anything. It would have pissed Kimber off and probably made him feel sick and disgusted with himself and it certainly wouldn't change the fact that the child his wife was carrying might not be his.

He took his shoes off and then lay back on the bed and dialed Kimber's cell number. They didn't have a home phone. He had gotten Paul and Sierra's number from a phonebook online and had dialed it without thought.

Kimber didn't pick up the phone, so he sighed, undressed the rest of the way and pulled the covers over him. He passed out soon after.

Sierra

Sierra put the cordless phone back on the cradle and glared at her husband. "What in the hell is going on Paul? Tell me right now."

Paul sighed. "Sierra, I don't know how to say this."

"Then just say it dammit."

She stood above him with her arms crossed, daring him to say the wrong thing.

"I had sex with Kimber."

"This might sound really dumb to you because neither you nor Kimber really seem to get what went on between me and Luke, but if you just had sex with her, we can get past it. What in the hell can I say when I made love with Luke two or three times a week for months?"

"What is it with you two? He said that you made love too. He also said that he still loves you. Do you still love him?"

"I do. That's not the point, because I will always love Luke. I should have told you about him before we got married. I should have tossed the engagement ring long before I did. I never, ever should have slept with him. You are the one I want to be with. But I want to feel like you're my husband just as much as you're the father of my child. When I ran into Luke, you weren't making me feel like that. I messed up and I know I messed up. But why is Kimber calling now? Are you still sleeping with her? Did Luke find out and she wanted to call before he got the chance or something? What is it Paul?"

Paul closed his eyes. Sierra tapped her foot impatiently. "Well?"

"Kimber is pregnant."

"Yeah, so? That should be something they're really happy about. Luke's a great dad and he doesn't mind sleeping with a woman when she's pregnant." Sierra gave him a tight smile.

"Kimber and I um. . . We had unprotected sex."

When the awareness dawned on Sierra of what he was saying, she wanted to kill him. "The baby might be yours. Get the fuck out Paul. You are such a goddamned idiot. You thought that I screwed our marriage up royally? Wow were you wrong. There was never any question of who the father of my child was. And if I wasn't pregnant, I wouldn't have been dumb enough to have sex with another man without protection. There has got to a handbook out there somewhere for when idiots decide to have affairs."

"You started this whole thing when you spread your legs for your ex."

"If you still can't get past that you really can get out and stay away. I explained my indiscretions to you over and over. I love you Paul, but I can't believe you did this. I get that you had sex with her. It's like a 'ha ha you fucked my wife I can fuck yours' kind of a thing. Whatever. Like I said, we could have gotten past that. You've opened up to me in the bedroom. We actually have sex sometimes instead of just making love. But fathering another woman's child? Fathering the child of Luke's wife? That means DNA tests and child support and Nathan having a half brother or sister. How in the hell are we supposed to explain that to our son?"

"He's a baby."

"He's not always gonna be a baby." Sierra shook her head. "Get out Paul. You can see Nathan, but I can't deal with seeing you right now. We may be able to get past this and figure out how in the hell we're going to deal with this, but I am definitely not making any promises. How could you have been so stupid?"

Paul said nothing. He gave her a weak smile and then went up the stairs. She could hear him talking quietly to their son. He returned several minutes later with an overnight bag.

"I love you Sierra. Never forget that."

"You're the one who seems to have forgotten."

Paul shook his head sadly and left the house.

Sierra locked the door behind him. She went to the kitchen and made herself a glass of wine. She went upstairs and took a long hot bath and then changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed. She laid her head on Paul's pillow and cried herself to sleep.
Kimber

When Kimber awoke, her phone was ringing. Her heart beat fast, thinking that it was Luke. But when she picked it up, the caller ID read 'Paul Brooks'. She took a deep breath and then let it, and picked up the phone.

"Hello."

"Kimber this is Paul."

"Hi Paul."

"I guess we need to talk huh?"

"I'm sorry if I caused problems between you and your wife. But when I realized that you could be the father of my child, I knew that I had to tell you."

"Your husband called my house last night. He was rather intoxicated. Sierra talked to him. What in the hell is going on between your husband and my wife? I know that they haven't been together lately but they act like they're still in love and we're morons because we don't seem to get it."

Kimber sighed. "He loves her and I assume that she loves him. I never thought that it was possible to love two people at the same time until Luke explained his relationship with your wife. I still don't get it completely but I guess we'll just have to live with it, or maybe not. Luke left me. Did Sierra leave you or kick you out?"

"She called me the world's biggest moron and told me to get the fuck out, asked me how we were going to explain this to our son. You guys have a daughter don't you? Oh Kimber, we screwed up bad."

"I know. We were too busy trying to get back at them for cheating on us to think about the consequences. It just sucked so badly and I wanted Luke to know the way he made me feel. But it's even more messed up. I bitched at Luke because I don't think he ever would have told me about his affair if the whole thing hadn't happened the way it did with you and Sierra. But I don't think I would have told him about us if I hadn't ended up pregnant and questioning the paternity of my child."

"I know what you mean. I didn't really plan on telling Sierra. We were just really starting to get things back together you know. The whole sex thing has been going better and she's not checking out other guys, not that she ever really did. How are we gonna handle this Kimber?"

"Luke never checked out other women either. I feel like such an idiot. We had great sex, but now we're facing having to explain to everyone that we share a child together because we wanted to get back at our spouses for screwing each other. It sucks to have to admit that you've been cheated on, but to have to say that you yourself were dumb enough to have sex with someone else and didn't use protection and created a child in the process, that's just truly screwed up."

"Well, I'm assuming that there is a greater chance that your child is Luke's. I mean absolutely no offense when I say this, but I hope that it is."

"I know Paul. We were incredibly irresponsible in what we did, but to think that we have to go through a whole mess of DNA tests, visitation and child support because of it, it's just too much. You would want to see the baby if it's yours right?"

Paul cleared his throat. "Yes. It would be strange and probably uncomfortable for all of us, but I would want to be a part of the child's life."

"At least we have that out of the way. Did you talk about it at all with Sierra other than in an argumentative fashion?"

"My beautiful wife has quite a temper. Sometimes I think that if she didn't she would have been able to talk to me calmly about our problems in the bedroom instead of getting upset and pissed off at me and falling right into bed with Luke. Then again, there's a part of me that doesn't believe that to be true. They had something together that we don't understand. Maybe even if Sierra and I had had a great sex life, she still would have cheated. I don't know. I guess it doesn't do me any good to agonize over it. Did you talk about it with Luke or was he really pissed off at you too? He seemed pretty proud to tell me that he made love to my wife when you said that we'd just had sex."

"We did have sex. It was great. I'm not going to deny that. It was so damned good that I fantasized about it for a while afterwards. But Luke asked me if the sex was so good that it was worth ruining two marriages over. It wasn't. He also told me that if we had used a condom or if I wasn't pregnant, that he wouldn't even have cared that much. Isn't that crazy?"

"You know, Sierra said something similar. She called it a 'ha ha you fucked my wife so I can fuck yours' kind of a thing. And that's what it was. You're a great woman Kimber. Beautiful, smart, successful, and I'm sure you're a great wife and a great mother. But I love Sierra. She is the woman for me. When we got married, the thought of ever having a child with another woman never crossed my mind. It makes me kinda sick to think about it. No offense."

"None taken. I've been feeling terrible. I'm worried that all of my stress and anxiety is going to carry over to the baby."

"Oh Kimber. It's gonna be okay. No matter what happens, the baby will have two parents that love him or her. Even if we did screw up both of our marriages royally for one night of good sex, it will turn out okay. And all of the kids will be fine whether there is a half-brother or sister thrown into the mix or not. We're lucky enough that we might have married two people that have tempers, but there's no way Luke is going to stay away from your daughter or the baby if it is his. Sierra won't try to keep me away from Nathan either. She's pissed at me now and I don't blame her, but she knows that our son needs me, even if I am a complete idiot."

"Paul, you're not an idiot. Well, maybe you are and maybe I am one too. But I know that I have to chill out or my stress really will carry over to the baby."

"If you need anything, you can call me. I know it's a little weird, and I'm probably not the person that you want to ask for help from since I helped get you into this mess, but I'm here, even if you just need to talk without having someone yell at you for being a dumbass."

Kimber laughed. "Thank you. I guess I should probably let you go now. Alexis is going to be home soon and I have to explain to her that Daddy is going to be gone for a while but that she can still see him. Or at least I hope he's only going to be gone for a little while. Anyway. I hope that things work out between you and Sierra. I know that she loves you. It's really hard for me to imagine the two of you not having a great sex life with the sex that we had, but I think part of what made it so good was the wrongness of the whole thing. That's pretty shitty huh?"

Paul laughed, though it sounded strained to Kimber's ears. "Yeah. Good luck to you too. Um, I guess you can let me know when it gets closer to the baby being born what we're going to do about the DNA test and all that. I assume that you would rather have Luke with you than me even if the baby is mine when you have the baby, no matter who the father is, but I can be there if you want me to be."

"I think that it would probably be better if Luke is the one that is there yes. I'm not sure how he's going to feel by then, but it would probably be a lot more comfortable all around. I'm due on July 29th. You can call me if you have any questions or concerns and you can call me if you just want to talk too."

"Thanks Kimber. Have a nice day."

"You too Paul. Goodbye."

"Bye."

Kimber hung up the phone. She got up and used the restroom. Her back was starting to hurt a little and she wished that Luke were there to give her a massage. She wished he were there period. She wondered if their marriage or their sex life would ever be the same again, even if he did decide to come home, especially if the child was Paul's.

She took her phone with her and went downstairs to make breakfast.

Luke

Luke awoke early with a pounding headache. He groaned and patted the bed beside him, not realizing at first that he wasn't in his bed at home. As awareness of where he was and what had happened to drive him there dawned, he let out an even bigger groan.

He got out of bed and used the restroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and had the distant thought that he looked like shit. But he didn't care. He was glad that he'd been wearing his glasses when he left because he was too hung over to worry about having to put his contacts in.

He lit a cigarette and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. There were stains from what he assumed had been a leak. He thought that he would definitely have to find another place to stay if he was going to be gone from home for longer than a few nights.

He had no idea how long he was going to be gone from home. The idea of being away from his wife and daughter made him sick to his stomach, but the thought that another man had impregnated Kimber made him even sicker.

He had been honest with her the day before when he'd told her that if she wasn't pregnant that there wouldn't have been much he could have said about her sleeping with Paul. Two wrongs didn't make a right, but how could he get pissed off at his wife for having revenge sex with Sierra's husband? He knew that's what it was and that made him feel like the whole thing was his fault even more.

Luke would have taken back what he had done with Sierra if he could. He knew that he shouldn't have called her in the first place. It had just been such a shock when he had taken Alexis to school and saw that Sierra was her teacher. It had stirred up old feelings that had been buried for so long. And he had felt his self-control crumble when she had confessed to him that Paul refused to make her love to her and that she didn't feel attractive.

He had looked into the eyes of a woman that he loved and saw her need. He knew it had been selfish. He knew that he should have urged her to talk to Paul about her feelings instead of taking it upon himself to prove to her that she was still attractive, pregnant or not. He had known that it was wrong every time he kissed her, every time she cried out his name in the heat of passion. He had especially known it was wrong when he had had sex with her on the day he had gone to say goodbye to her.

That certainly hadn't been planned, but she had needed it and he had never been able to deny Sierra. He would always love Sierra. He just wasn't sure that he could ever truly communicate to Kimber that the way he felt about Sierra would never change the way he felt about her and that it did not diminish his love for her in any way either. Kimber had never loved another man the way she loved him.

Luke didn't doubt that Kimber loved him. He had never doubted that Kimber loved him. Kimber hadn't been treated well by the men she had been with before him and it had made Luke doubly feel like shit when he had broken her heart. But Kimber didn't seem to realize how beautiful and special she was either. Even if she had worked at a fast food restaurant and lived in a studio apartment when they had met, she would have been attractive to him. Kimber was truly beautiful inside and out, but she was also human and her acting like a typical, impulsive screwed up human being was one of the things that had gotten them into the mess that they were sitting in.

He still had serious doubts that he could raise another man's child and stand by her and be her husband, but he knew he had to talk to her. She was pregnant and upset enough as it was without him piling a bunch of crap on top of it.

He put his cigarette out in the ashtray and lit another, trying to calm his nerves. He didn't consider himself to be an overly emotional guy, but the sound of Sierra's voice had almost brought him to tears the night before. He was almost afraid of what the sound of Kimber's would do to him.

He picked up his phone and dialed her number with a hand that had a slight shake to it.

She picked up on the first ring. "Hi."

"Hi."

Luke suddenly had no idea what to say to her. He cleared his throat, because it felt scratchy and it wasn't only because he had drunk and smoked too much the night before.

"Hang on a second babe I need to get a drink of water."

"Okay."

He ran water into the plastic cup in the bathroom and gulped it down. It didn't calm his thirst so he gulped down another, knowing that he was probably going to end up feeling water logged but not caring. He filled the cup again and took it back to the bedroom with him.

He picked his phone back up. He could hear her breathing on the other end of the line. The sound of her breath was almost too much for him. He wanted to take her into his arms and tell her that it would all be all right, but he wasn't sure that it would be and he wasn't going to lie to her and end up hurting her even more.

"Kimber, I need to apologize for the way I acted. I probably need to apologize to Paul and Sierra too. I don't know if you've talked to Paul, but I got drunk last night and acted like an idiot and called their house. It wasn't my place. I shouldn't have done it. I feel like this is my fault. I know that you wouldn't have slept with Paul if I hadn't slept with Sierra. But I did, and you did and we have to figure out how we're going to handle this."

"I am so sorry Luke. I can never tell you how sorry I am. It makes me sick to think that the baby may not be yours. I feel so terrible."

"Honey, I know you do. But we can't take back what we did. None of us can. And the last thing you need is to let yourself be eaten up inside with guilt because of what you did. You are such a wonderful mother and I know that you would never do anything to hurt the child that you carry. So we have to come to some kind of agreement that will put your mind at ease. I don't know right now if I can raise another man's child. I love you so much Kimber, but that is so much to ask."

"I know Luke. Even with how much I love you, I don't know that it would be fair to ask that of you. I did talk to Paul. He's agreed to take a DNA test and if the baby is his, he wants to be a part of the child's life."

Luke took a deep breath and then let it out. "I guess that's only fair. If the child is mine, I certainly want to be a part of his or her life. I definitely want to continue to be a part of our daughter's life too. But as for our marriage, I think we need to take it one step at a time. It breaks my heart to think of living without you, and the thought of divorce makes me want to throw up, but I'm not going to pretend that everything is fine when it's not. That's not fair to either of us."

"I know. I would never keep you away from Alexis. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to explain this to her. She's going to be home anytime."

Luke sighed. "We'll work out some kind of visitation for now. I would say that I'd come home and sleep in another room but it's not fair to our daughter to pretend everything is normal. If we did that and decided to divorce later on, it would tear her heart out even more."

"What can I tell her Luke? I know this is my fault, but it's going to be so hard to explain this to her."

"Honey, I can hear the stress in your voice. It really sucks that you had sex with someone else one time and instead of just having to tell me about it and get through that, we have to deal with a big mess like this. You don't deserve this. Sierra and Paul don't deserve this. Their son, our daughter and the baby don't deserve this. But sometimes life throws some damned crazy curveballs at you and you have to deal with it to prove that you are strong and you can take every damned one of them. You are strong Kimber. I have always admired your strength. We'll get through this, together or apart."

"I never wanted our marriage to turn out like this Luke."

"Neither did I sweetheart. Tell Alexis that we're separating temporarily. She won't understand it, but she knows that we both love her. I'll have to find someplace to stay that is a lot nicer than this dump if she's going to be staying with me even part time though."

"I'm sorry Luke."

"Kimber, I am begging you to stop torturing yourself. What's done is done. No matter what happens, I love you way too much to let you do this to yourself."

"You hate me don't you?"

"Oh Kimber, I could never hate you. Please know that. Tell Alexis that I love her. Do you have any preference as to when I see her or take her overnight? And you know that you can always call me if you need a break right?"

Kimber sighed. "I know. You can take her whenever you'd like Luke. She's your girl."

"Honey, stop that. You are a wonderful mother. And you have been a great wife too. If I knew that I could be okay with raising another man's child with my whole heart right now, I would be by your side. I would put up with any amount of stupid gossip if I knew wholeheartedly that I would treat the child the exact same way I treat Alexis whether it's mine biologically or not. But I don't know that. And until I do without a doubt, I have to stay away."

"I understand. I love you Luke. I have to go. Bunny's mother is calling."

"I love you Kimber. Call me anytime. I'll probably be by to pick up a few things later today if that's okay with you."

"Of course. Bye Luke."

"Goodbye Kimber."

Luke hung up his phone. He put his third chained smoked cigarette of the morning out in the ashtray, and then he put his head in his hands and cried.

Sierra

When her phone rang and she saw that it was Paul, she almost didn't answer. Nathan was teething and in a terrible mood and she didn't want to think about what Paul had done. But she knew that she couldn't avoid him.

She put her wireless headset on and pushed the button to answer. She couldn't have a phone to her ear at the moment because Nathan was fussy and wanted to be held. She paced the floor with him.

"Hello."

"Sierra."

"Who else did you expect it to be when you called my cell phone?" She sighed. "I'm sorry. The baby is in a bad mood and with what happened last night, I am too."

"Oh babe, I can never tell you how sorry I am. Can you ever forgive me?"

"That's the problem Paul. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can be married to a man that has a child with another woman; that impregnated her during our marriage, no matter how much I love him. I do love you, but this is so much to deal with. It breaks my heart to think of divorcing you, but until I can look you in the eye and tell you without lying that I can continue to be your wife when you have a child with another woman, it's not fair to pretend. You understand that don't you?"

Paul sighed. "I do."

"Have you talked to Kimber?"

"Yeah. We got all of the DNA test and visitation stuff out of the way. I do plan to take a test and I do plan on being a part of the child's life if it is mine. I think that we would all be a lot better off if it's Luke's, and I'm sure it probably is, but none of our minds will be at ease until we know for sure."

"Does she want child support if the kid's yours?"

"We didn't really discuss that. I don't think that money is a big issue with her. And it's definitely not like she got pregnant for the money."

"I know. I probably sound like such a bitch, but I can't explain to you how I felt when you told me. I know that you felt bad when you found out about me and Luke, but this is different. It involves a kid and that makes everything so much more complicated. But I'm not going to yell at you for being a dumbass again, even though you acted like one. You were being a man and thinking with your penis and Kimber was being a woman and thinking with her betrayed heart. We all wish you two had been a hell of a lot smarter about this whole thing I'm sure, but me bitching at you isn't going to change anything. I'm glad that you decided that if the kid is yours that you want to be a part of his or her life. That's the type of guy you are though. Some guys would look at the kid as a mistake and make the woman raise it by herself if her husband didn't stand by her."

"Yeah. Do you think that there's any chance for us Sierra? I'll wait for ten years if I have to. I love you and I am so sorry."

"Honey, I would love to tell you that I'm perfect and could be like a stepmother or whatever in the hell it would be to Kimber's baby if it's yours with no reservations, but I can't tell you that now and I honestly don't know that I will ever be able to. I'm not going to put an innocent child through that. For a long time, I didn't feel like my stepdad loved me the way he would have loved a child of his own. Hell, I didn't feel like my own mother loved me half the time. I'm not going to put a child through what I went through only worse. If we got divorced and you were with someone that treated Nathan any differently than they would treat their own child, I would fight you tooth and nail to keep them away from him."

"Oh Sierra, I want to take it back. I don't want to lose you. It hurts so badly to think of losing you."

"It hurts to think of losing you too Paul. But I'm not going to lie to you."

Nathan started crying. Sierra sighed. "Oh baby, I know you don't feel good. I wish there was something more I could do for you."

"Are his teeth still bugging him?"

"Yes. I gave him medicine and some teething gel and teething toys, but he's still miserable. He wants to be held all of the time. And he's getting so big that it's hard for me to hold him. My arms get so tired."

"Don't you still have the baby carrier?"

"He doesn't like it. I think I might have to take him for a drive or something to put him to sleep. I'd take him to the doctor, but they'll just tell me that there's nothing that they can do that I haven't already been doing because he doesn't have a fever or anything else wrong with him."

"I'm sorry. Can I take you out to dinner tonight?"

"Paul, I don't think that's a good idea. I'd say that you could home and sleep in the guest room, but it hurts too much to think of seeing you every day. You are more than welcome to take Nathan whenever you want to of course, but I can't be your wife right now. Okay, I know that I am your wife, but you know what I mean."

"Yeah. Do you want me to take Nathan for a while?"

Sierra bit her lip. She knew she'd have to see him sooner or later, but it hurt just talking to him. "Um."

"You don't have to let me if you don't want to. But you sound tired, like maybe you could use a break."

"I could. Why aren't you at work?"

"I took a personal day."

"Oh. If you want to pick Nathan up you can. We'll figure something out about visitation or I guess you can just take him whenever you want as long as you call first. Okay, this is going to sound really bitchy but I have to ask you."

"Okay."

"Um, since we're technically going to be separated, do I need to get a job now instead of waiting? I feel terrible asking so soon after you told me about what happened with Kimber, but I need to know."

"I hate to think of divorcing you, but I believe that even if you were working they would probably ask me to pay you alimony on top of child support. I never thought of taking you off of the joint accounts or not paying the bills or trying to be an asshole when this was my fault, or taking away anything that you needed or even wanted. I love you Sierra. You can spend money just like you always have. It's not like you ever spent a lot of extra anyway."

"Thank you Paul. It feels so strange to be talking about stuff like this. I miss you already but it's not fair to anyone to pretend like everything's normal."

"I know. I need to check out of this hotel and see if I can find a place that you can rent by the week with a kitchen and stuff. Is it okay if I pick Nathan up early this afternoon?"

"Yeah. I'll see you."

"Bye Sierra. I love you."

"I love you too Paul. I'm not going to pretend I don't. But it doesn't mean that we can put a bandage over it and make this go away. I'll see you later. Thank you."

Sierra pushed the button to end her call. Nathan had fallen asleep, but when she tried to put him down in the playpen he woke up and started screaming. She felt a little like screaming herself. She retrieved her son and took him to the kitchen with her while she made him a bottle.

He drank the formula, but his tears were back as soon as he had finished. Sierra paced the floor with her son, and when his tears didn't ease, she cried a little too, but for a completely different reason.

Paul

Paul checked out of the hotel. The place had been a dump, but it was the only place he could find with a vacancy since there was some kind of convention in town. His heart ached to think that he had screwed his marriage up so badly. He didn't blame Sierra for asking him the questions that she had. But he would have given her every last dime he ever made if it could take back what he had done.

He had a headache and he was glad that he hadn't gone to work. He was tempted to take his vacation but he knew that he should probably save it for when it was time to hear the results of the DNA test. The very thought of taking such a test, of what he had done to have to do such a thing, sickened him. It made him feel like the lowliest scum that had ever walked the earth to think that he had enjoyed having sex with a woman besides his wife.

He knew that plenty of men had affairs. And it wasn't as if he didn't find other women attractive. But he couldn't look at his wife and think that there was a more beautiful woman on the planet either. Sierra could be a bitch, and she certainly had a temper, but she was smart and she was kind and she was the woman that he loved and would always love.

The thought of divorcing her, of her not carrying his last name anymore, put such a feeling of dread into his heart that he could hardly stand to think about it.

He went into a convenience store to get a cup of coffee. He thought about buying a donut or something else to eat, but he didn't think he could stomach anything. He had never looked at his life before and worried that there wasn't hope for the future, not even when Sierra had made the confession of her affair with Luke.

The woman behind the counter smiled at him. He thought that it was flirtatious and stopped himself from giving her a dirty look. He made a point of reaching for his wallet with his left hand to make sure that she saw his wedding ring. The woman gave him a strange look as she handed him his change. He wondered if he had somehow offended her.

Then again he thought as he returned to his car, he had never been good with women. He knew that women found him attractive. Women had been telling him he was handsome, sexy or hot since he was a teenager, but he had never taken advantage of it the way that he was sure some men would have.

After his high school girlfriend had given him an STD, he had pretty much given up hope of finding a nice girl that would love him for who he was and not just the way that he looked. He had gone out on a few dates in college before Sierra, but most of the girls had been shy and not at all interested in sex.

When he'd met Sierra, he'd been taken with her beauty but had waited a long time to ask her out. She had a reputation as being stuck up or a lesbian around school because she turned down every guy that asked her out. He'd caught her looking at him and thought she was interested, but he had been so nervous when he'd asked her out that he had had the uncomfortable feeling that he was going to pee in his pants.

Her sex drive had always astounded him. He had been under the impression that women very rarely liked sex as much as men did, and that they almost never liked it more than men did. She had scared the crap out of him the first time she'd seduced him. He had wanted her very much, but he'd been so afraid that he wouldn't perform well or that he would ejaculate prematurely. He'd always been sure that their first time together hadn't been any good for her.

He supposed that her relationship with Luke had something to do with her sex drive and since her affair, it had bugged him to think that she compared his bedroom skills to Luke's. He was sure that if she decided to take him back, he would be forever worrying that he wasn't living up to her expectations in bed.

Paul wasn't full of self-doubt. He knew that he did well at his job and had deserved the promotion and the raise that had allowed them to move and to buy a house instead of renting; that had allowed Sierra to stay home to raise their son instead of going back to work like she had planned. He knew that she loved her job, but she enjoyed taking care of Nathan so much and he didn't want to take that away from her. He wouldn't take that away from her even if they did end up getting divorced.

He wasn't quite sure how he would be able to take care of his family and another child, and pay for a place of his own though. He made good money, but their mortgage wasn't cheap and his car payments were higher than they had been since he had traded his old car in after they had moved. Sierra's car was almost paid off, but they'd planned on buying her a nicer car. He wanted to be able to give her whatever she wanted, even if she was no longer his wife.

The thought that he'd give her anything even if she kicked him to the curb for acting like a brainless wonder made him feel a little pathetic, but Paul knew that Sierra wouldn't take advantage of him. She could be a bitch and sometimes cussed like a man with a very dirty mouth, and she might hate him right now, but he knew that she wouldn't treat him unfairly.

He drove aimlessly for a while, trying to clear his head. It didn't work, so he set about looking for a weekly motel that wasn't too big of a dump but that didn't cost too much either, some place that he wouldn't cringe at keeping his son overnight in.

He was able to find a place that was well suited for his purposes. It wasn't too expensive and it was clean and halfway close to his job. He paid for a month, because it was cheaper that way, hoping against hope that Sierra would find it in her heart to forgive him before then, but knowing all the same that she probably wouldn't.

Sierra

The second night that Sierra spent without Paul was even harder than the first, especially since he had dropped by and taken Nathan for a few hours to give her a break. She woke up in the middle of the night, started crying and couldn't stop. By the time she was able to fall back asleep, it was way too close to comfort to the time that Nathan usually awoke. She hoped that she'd be able to nap with him during the day or she wasn't sure how she was going to make it through.

The days felt long and empty. Friday night Paul came to pick up Nathan again. It hurt to look at him. He was so handsome and she wanted to fall into his arms and beg him to come home. But she knew that it wasn't fair to either of them.

She handed him the diaper bag and made sure that Nathan was securely strapped into his car seat. Their son smiled up at her and she took his hand and kissed it. "Bye sweet pea. Mama loves you."

"Sierra?"

She looked at Paul, though she'd been trying to avoid his eyes since she'd answered his knock. "Yes?"

"Can I kiss you, or at least hug you?"

"No. Just because I miss you doesn't mean that I need to add any more complicated emotion into it."

"Sierra, can we talk?"

"Paul, if you want to talk, call me after Nathan's down for the night. It shouldn't take too long. It's already past his normal bedtime."

"I'm sorry. I had to stay late at work."

"You always have to stay late at work. If you were a different kind of man, I'd think that you were having an affair with your secretary."

"Have you seen my secretary?"

Sierra shrugged. "She's big, but she's very pretty. I thought maybe your tastes had changed after you were with Kimber since Luke mentioned that she's tall and not super skinny. Wow, that was out of line. I am going to put my bitchy attitude away. There's enough room for the playpen in your room right?"

"Yes honey. I'll call you soon. Please can I hug you? I miss the way you smell."

"Stop it or you'll make my bitchy self come right back out."

Paul sighed. "Sorry. Goodnight Sierra."

"Bye Paul. Take good care of my little man for me."

"I will. You look beautiful by the way."

"Uh uh. I am not going to tell you how good you look to me."

Paul smiled. "I think you just did. Bye Sierra."

Paul picked up the car seat. She opened the door for him and then watched her husband and son until they were gone into the night.

Paul

Though Paul enjoyed taking care of his son and missed him, the minutes until he was asleep seemed endless. He wanted to talk to Sierra. He took one last look at the wonder that he and Sierra had created and then took his cell phone with him into the kitchen, where he could still keep an eye on Nathan.

She picked up on the third ring and gave him a tired sounding "Hello."

"You sound tired babe. Should I let you go to sleep?"

"Paul you're the one that said we needed to talk. So talk."

"I know that what I told you was a huge shock, but we haven't really talked about it calmly. Since it's been a few days, I thought that maybe we could do that."

"Do you think that my feelings have changed?"

"Well, maybe a little. I miss you so much Sierra."

"I miss you too, but it doesn't mean that I'm ready to accept the fact that you impregnated Luke's wife."

"It bothers you even more that she's Luke's wife doesn't it?"

"Yes it does. Could you possibly have made things more uncomfortable for the people involved? It's bad enough that you slept with a married woman, but did you have to do it with Luke's wife?"

"I wouldn't have done it with another woman. We did it to get back at you and Luke. I never thought about cheating on you before that. And I don't feel like I can keep up with you in the bedroom, let alone you and another woman at the same time."

"Paul you are by no means bad in bed. But other than the first time we had sex and I totally seduced you, we were together for months before we just had sex. It's okay to screw. Making love is great, but you wanting to screw me doesn't mean that you don't love me. And it feels good too."

"I'm always afraid that I'm going to disappoint you. Especially if it's short."

"You're fantastic at foreplay. When you let go and let yourself forget that you're so damned uptight, you usually get me off before we have sex."

"I don't want to just get you off. I don't want to screw my wife. Isn't it supposed to be making love when you love the person that you're with? You said that you made love with Luke."

Sierra sighed. "Well, if you want to look at it that way you can. But I think that at least part of the reason it's easier for Luke and I to think of what we did as making love is because it somehow makes it feel like it was less wrong."

"You're contradicting yourself."

"I know and I'm sorry. You had sex with Kimber right, there was no love involved? It was two bodies pleasing each other."

"Um, yeah."

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about Paul. Men your age are still proud to have sex with someone, and a lot of them are married."

"Not me. It wasn't worth ruining our marriage. I felt so bad when you told me that you had been sleeping with Luke, what he meant to you."

"I know Paul. I would take it back if I could, especially since it would mean this mess with Kimber never would have happened. But I can't take what I did back and you can't take back what you did either. I'm going to be honest with you. I still don't feel as if I can continue to be your wife until I know that Kimber's child is Luke's. I won't ask you for a divorce until then, because I think that maybe if the baby isn't yours we can get past this or at least try to get past this. But there's no point in talking about you coming home or us having any kind of involvement with each other than the fact that we share a child until then."

"Oh Sierra. I'm so sorry."

"I know you are. That doesn't change the fact that I can't stand by you if Kimber's child is yours. I know that that's not what you want to hear, but I'm not going to lie to you now or at any point until we know that Kimber's baby belongs to Luke."

"Can we talk more? Maybe if you tell me how you feel we can work something out."

"We can talk, but it's not going to change anything. I'll try to be civil and you can take Nathan whenever you want to, but I'm not going to pretend that I can be the bigger woman and continue to be your wife when you fathered another woman's child. And Luke and Kimber may have been separated when you had sex with Kimber, but we weren't."

"I know. I didn't go there to have sex with her. I couldn't even kiss her the day I told her about you and Luke's affair."

"You didn't plan on having sex with her. I didn't plan on having sex with Luke. Okay, if we're going to be completely honest here, I think that Luke didn't plan on having sex with me, but there was a part of me that planned on having sex with him. I felt so bad when you wouldn't make love to me. I was pregnant and already felt unattractive while being even hornier than usual at the same time. I know that I should have talked to you about that. But when I tried, you brushed me off and made me feel worse. We need to learn how to talk to each other without me acting like a bitch and you being dismissive and stubborn."

"I'm not stubborn."

"You are Paul. I understand that your parents had sex two times a week and that they scared the crap out of you when they gave you the sex talk. I understand that you had a really bad experience with a girl that you thought you loved in high school. That stuff sucks, but you can't let it ruin your sex life forever. If you had married another woman, you might be fine. Some women don't like sex. I think that that probably has a lot to do with the men they've been with, or the way they feel about their bodies, but that's them. That's not me. I didn't like sex until I had it with Luke either. The guy I lost my virginity to wasn't very good at it."

Paul groaned. "There's another guy?"

"Give me a break Paul. I've been with four men sexually in my life. Austin, the guy I lost my virginity to, was my high school boyfriend. He was cheating on me and got this other girl pregnant. They've been married forever now and have like three or four kids. I didn't love Austin and when I think about him, I don't think of us together. I think of him with his wife. Then there was Luke. Luke made me realize that sex could be fantastic. I love him, but I'm in love with you. I don't think of him like that anymore either. I made the first move when we had the affair. I made the last move the day he came to say goodbye when we had sex. I was wrong. I was selfish. I was trying to hold onto a man that wasn't mine anymore the minute he met Kimber, when what I really wanted was for you to want to make love to me and have sex with me and to feel like you wanted me even a fraction of as much as I always wanted you. And I had a one-night stand when I was drunk in college. I don't remember his name or his face so you sure as hell don't have to worry about me trying to find him."

"I've always wanted you."

"Then don't be afraid to show me. You've been with two women sexually right, me and that girl that gave you the STD in high school?"

"Yeah."

"So it honestly wouldn't surprise me if you didn't know what you were doing in bed. But you do, which tells me that you were more open with her, that she taught you about the things that she liked. I know that it rocked your world when you found out she was messing around and made it ten times worse when you found out you had an STD because of it, but I'm your wife. The woman that you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with. You can tell me what feels good and you can tell me when you're too tired to make love. But sometimes it might be nice if you'd at least give me a chance to try to get you in the mood instead of just telling me 'no' in that tone of voice that annoys the crap out of me."

"What tone of voice?"

"C'mon Paul. You sound different when you turn me down for sex than when you tell me no about anything else. It's like the gentlemanly part of you doesn't want to offend me, but the rest of you is like 'hell no I don't want to have sex with you'."

"I don't want to offend you. But I have never thought of you in a 'hell no I don't want to have sex with you' kind of a way. It was always because I really was tired or I had to get up early in the morning or you did. You like some things that make me feel a little uncomfortable and you might turn me off a bit here and there because you can get a little kinky, but you're gorgeous Sierra and you have a beautiful body. It doesn't take much for you to turn me on."

"It makes you uncomfortable that I want to have sex when I'm on my period. I'm not asking you to go down on me while I'm on the rag, although some guys do that. That's a little too weird even for me. You're washable and I'm sensitive then. It feels good to me. But it's seven days and I think I can survive without sex for seven days every month if you can be more open and sexual the rest of the month. I'm really not kinky or I don't like to think of myself as kinky. I like to be on top during sex because it feels good to me. I know that it feels good to you too, but you think of it as me being aggressive. I like to smack your ass sometimes because you have a very cute ass. I want to try new positions because they might feel good too. If we don't like them, we never have to do them again. It's okay to try new things."

"I think maybe I could be okay with having sex with you every once in a while when you're on your period, because I know it does feel good for you. Sex with you always feels good for me, but sometimes if I think too much, it kills the mood. I like it when you're on top, but sometimes it does seem like you're doing it to exert your dominance. I'm not saying that we can't both wear the pants in our family or that I think you are any less important than me in any way shape or form, but I have to feel like a man. You're so independent that sometimes I wonder if you need me at all."

"Of course I need you Paul. I just don't need you to take care of me the way that some women need their men to take care of them. I need to know that if we got divorced or that you died, I would be okay. I'm not saying that I wouldn't be sad or miss you, but I have to know that my world will not come to a halt if you leave me in one form or another. We have a child and I have to be able to take care of him if you're not around. You're Nathan's father and he needs you. I will never try to keep you away from our child. You're a wonderful father and I think every child should see both parents unless one of them is majorly screwed up and isn't doing anything to change or is something terrible like a child molester. We can talk while we're separated. We can talk about sex and our feelings and all of that. It's good that we're trying to be honest. But we are going to be separated until I know that you are not the father of Kimber's child."

Paul sighed. "Okay. It really hurts though."

"I know babe. It hurts me too. But I'm not going to lie to you and say that I feel okay about playing stepmom or whatever in the hell it would be to Kimber's kid just to stay out of divorce court when I don't and I don't think I ever will."

"I'm so sorry Sierra."

"Honey, I knew that you were sorry the first time you said it. But sorry doesn't cut it. I know that you feel like shit about this whole business of my affair and your affair. I do too. But it happened and we have to move on with our lives. I'm tired Paul. I'm going to bed."

"I love you. Can we talk again soon?"

"We'll talk when you drop Nathan off. You're bringing him home on Sunday right?"

"Yes, Sunday evening around six if that's okay. Can I cook you dinner?"

"No. Please don't try to push me. I can't be your friend right now Paul. I know that you're trying to act like a gentleman and that you know I can't cook worth a damn. I also realize that it's deeply ingrained in you to be a gentleman and to want to take care of me. But you're already taking care of me. We're separated and you're still paying all of the bills and letting me stay home to take care of Nathan. That is so much more than a lot of men would do, especially considering the fact that I kicked you out and didn't want to be a stay at home mom in the first place."

"You're so good with him and who better to take care of a child than his mother?"

"I know Paul. That's why it sucks to think of going back to work even though a big part of me wants to. I appreciate everything you're doing. If you were another man, I'd think you were doing all of this so that you could sweet talk your way back into my heart. But that's not you. You're doing this because you think it's the right thing to do."

"A man taking care of his wife and child is the right thing to do."

"It would be nice if more men felt the way that you do. Goodnight Paul."

"Goodnight Sierra. I love you."

"I love you too Paul. Bye."

Sierra had hung up so he did too. He sighed and wondered if he should drink a beer while he had his son. He wanted one, especially after the conversation he had had with Sierra, but he didn't like to think of himself drinking around his child.

He decided against the beer, made one last check on his son who was still sleeping peacefully in the travel playpen, and readied himself for bed.

Kimber

Kimber missed Luke so much that she could hardly stand it. It had been hard to explain to Alexis that Daddy wasn't going to be living with them at least for a little while, even though she could still see him. Alexis had not appreciated the concept and had cried for so long that Kimber had called Luke and let Alexis talk to him as long as she wanted to. She had calmed down after her father had assured her that they would be seeing plenty of each other, and Luke had told Kimber that he had promised Alexis that they would spend the weekend together.

As Friday drew near, Kimber got more and more nervous. She hadn't seen Luke in person since he'd stormed out of their house. Listening to his voice on the phone got to her enough as it was. She was pretty sure that she would break down as soon as their daughter was out the door with Daddy.

She packed Alexis's bag and they waited patiently on the couch together for Luke to arrive. He knocked when he did, which kind of bugged Kimber, but she gave him a smile when she saw him standing on the doorstep. He was so damned handsome she thought.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi."

Alexis moved between them and threw herself at her father's legs. "Daddy I missed you."

Luke took Alexis into his arms. "I missed you too baby. Have you been good for Mommy?"

"Yes. Where do you live Daddy?"

"I'll show you sweetheart. It's not a house, but there's a park nearby and it's close to your school and to Mommy."

"Okay."

Luke set Alexis on her feet and then turned to Kimber. "So I'll bring her back Sunday night if that's okay."

"If you want, you can keep her Sunday night too. If you'll take her to school Monday morning, I'll pick her up."

"Okay. Kimber are you okay? I worry about you."

Kimber laughed, though it felt strained. "I worry about me too sometimes. Well, and the baby of course. Can I call you after bedtime?"

"Yeah. I'll see you. Thank you for being so good about letting me see Alexis."

"I was the one that messed up this time. I should have handled it better last time too. She's so lost without you."

Kimber handed Luke Alexis's bag. Alexis was already halfway out the door.

"Hey," Luke said. "Give Mommy a hug and a kiss and no jungle gym. Daddy has to be your only jungle gym until Mommy has the baby remember?"

Alexis gave her father a solemn nod. "Yes Daddy."

Kimber took her daughter into her arms for a brief hug. "I love you baby. Be good for Daddy."

Alexis kissed her mother. "I love you Mommy. I'll be good. Bye. Bye baby in Mommy's tummy."

Kimber smiled and then set Alexis down. She immediately ran back to her father. "Bye Alexis. Bye Luke."

Luke gave her one last long look and then took their daughter's hand and walked away. She stood in the doorway until he had strapped Alexis into her car seat and pulled out of the driveway. Kimber let out the sigh that had been building up and shut the door.

She tried to read a book, but she couldn't concentrate. She was sure that the time until Alexis's bedtime seemed to take three times as long as it really did. She took a long shower and then crawled into bed. She dialed Luke's cell phone fifteen minutes after their daughter's bedtime.

He answered on the first ring. "Hi. She just fell asleep. She's excited about hanging out with Daddy, but I think she's really confused over the fact that I'm not living with you anymore."

"Yeah. If she was older it would be easier to explain but probably even harder on her. So, I'm guessing that you still feel the way you did before about everything huh?"

Luke sighed. "Kimber, I love you so much but we can't lie to ourselves or to each other. This isn't just us we're talking about here. It also involves two innocent children."

"I know. But do you want to talk about it? You can ask me anything and I'll be completely honest with you."

"I think I know all that I need to know about what happened between you and Paul. You two had sex to get revenge on Sierra and I, even though you didn't plan on telling us about it. You didn't use protection and you haven't had a period since you were with him. There's a better chance that the child is mine since we were together without protection around that time both before and after we separated. Does that about cover it?"

"You sound like you have no emotion Luke. I know that it hurts, but you can tell me how you feel. I won't get mad at you. You might hurt me with something that you say, but I know that you wouldn't say hurtful things to me on purpose."

"How did you feel when you found out I'd been sleeping with Sierra? Pretty crappy right? Well, I felt the same way when you told me the baby could be Paul's only worse because a baby changes everything. I was so happy when you told me you were pregnant again. I realized that the timing could have been better since we'd just gotten back together after my affair, but I thought that we would move on and our marriage would be strong again, maybe even stronger than before since I wasn't completely honest with you in the first place."

"Okay. So your major problem is the fact that the child I carry may not be yours. I understand that. That was one of the reasons I had earlier made the decision not to tell you. Yes, it was selfish and a crappy thing to do but I didn't want what's going on right now to happen."

"I understand that Kimber and I don't blame you for feeling that way, but it would have been a truly selfish thing for you to continue to hide this. How would I have felt if the baby wasn't mine and I'd found out years down the road in some terrible situation where some random doctor said you can't donate a kidney or some damned thing to this child because you're not the natural father? How would Paul have felt if he would have missed his child's whole damned life because you wanted to save your marriage?"

"It's not just our marriage. It's his marriage too."

"Yeah. And that's why you two made the decision not to tell us. It was enough for you to screw and think that you had gotten back at us, but it wasn't worth ruining either of your marriages over. I know that what I did with Sierra is still hard for you to understand, but that's part of the reason I didn't want to tell you. My affair was not worth ruining our marriage over either. We were all pretty damned selfish. But we can't be selfish anymore. There is a baby involved. And we have to act like grownups because we are the grownups."

"I know that Luke. But it's so hard to think of raising this baby without you. I know that it's selfish for me to ask you to do something that you're not comfortable with, but I'm scared to death."

"Kimber, you are a wonderful mother. If worse comes to worst and we divorce and the baby is Paul's, you will do fine. It is scary. Whenever I thought about losing you and having to raise Alexis by myself, it scared the shit out of me. But I knew that I could do it. I'm strong, but you're stronger. You put up with a bunch of bull from your parents, and from the stupid men that you dated that didn't deserve you. You were running your own business at 24 and that's something that some people never do in their whole lives. And you'll never be alone. I'd like to think that if we do get divorced that we could be friends. I am man enough to take both of the kids when you need a break, whether the baby's mine or not."

"Thank you. I guess I should probably let you go now."

"You sound tired. Try to get some rest while the little princess is with me."

"Yeah. I love you Luke. I want you to know that."

"I love you Kimber. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Luke."

Kimber hung up her phone. She set her phone aside on the night stand and then laid her head on Luke's pillow. She knew that soon his scent would fade completely and it made her want to cry. She did cry a little before she fell into a dreamless sleep.

Paul

The month that he had paid for at the economy suites had passed and Sierra didn't change her mind about him coming home, so Paul paid for another month with a heavy heart. He looked at his marriage and wondered how it could have possibly gone so wrong.

He had never imagined marrying a woman like Sierra. He had imagined settling down and having kids with a girl that would stay home and raise their children and who was content to have sex twice a week like his parents had.

But when he'd met Sierra any thoughts of other women had been seriously blown out of the water. He'd seen her checking him out and was afraid that she only admired him because he was good looking, but he'd figured out that Sierra wasn't someone that looked at people and thought about the way they looked first thing. She had been friends with her unique looking college roommate and still was. She was sassy and spoke her mind but she was kind too and she'd talked to everyone no matter what they looked like.

He had been afraid that she was a lesbian and chose not to be open about it because he had heard rumors and had actually been close enough to witness her turn guys down when they asked to take her out. It had taken him what had seemed like forever to get up the courage to ask her out. But they had always seemed to him at least to make the perfect couple. Their differences were complimentary and they agreed on all the things that really mattered.

He knew that she probably still felt like he was too old fashioned about some things but he thought that they compromised well too. He hoped that if his dream came true and Kimber's child did indeed belong to Luke that they could work on their marriage, talk things out and make their marriage stronger than ever before. It killed him to think of losing her permanently and the thought of starting a relationship with another woman even years down the road terrified him.

So he tried not to pressure Sierra, while still letting her know that he loved her. He kept the hope alive in his heart that they would reconcile without letting himself hope too much, because he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to take it if his hopes were high and they were dashed completely if his relationship with Sierra ended in divorce.

Kimber

Kimber felt some of her uneasiness leave her as the days passed. It felt good to have been honest with Luke about her encounter with Paul and she felt like she wasn't putting undue stress on the baby any longer. But her heart ached and their bed felt empty.

Alexis seemed to feel a lot better than she had during their first separation since Kimber had lied to her about where her father was and hadn't allowed Luke to see their daughter. But Kimber knew that Alexis missed having Daddy around all of the time. Kimber certainly missed having Luke around too.

Their house seemed to feel his absence. Little things kept going wrong that she didn't know how to fix. She felt like she was bugging him when she called him because there was an issue with the kitchen sink or the shower in their bathroom, but he assured her that she could call him anytime.

Kimber thought that he missed her just as much as she missed him, but she knew that the decision to come home had to be his and that he had to feel confident about his true feelings before he could return home and be her husband again.

Luke

Luke felt like he was living in the middle of a bad dream sometimes. He thought about his marriage and wondered how in the hell such a beautiful thing could have gone so wrong. Thoughts of his wife and the child she carried consumed his every moment when he wasn't caring for their daughter.

There were days when he convinced himself that he loved Kimber enough that he could love the baby even if it wasn't his and that he could be her husband 'til death do us part like he had truly planned on when he'd said their wedding vows. But there were also days when he knew in his heart that he could not say with 100% honesty or even 90% honesty that he could raise another man's child.

So with as much as Luke wanted to return home, and with as much as he loved Kimber, he stayed away. He kept Alexis at least every other weekend and sometimes during the week. He tried to write songs but they turned out all wrong. He was glad that he had done well enough at it in the past and had had other lucky breaks such as his inheritance from his uncle as well, that he had a good deal of money in savings. He wouldn't have felt right about using Kimber's money from the book store to live apart from her.

When little things started going wrong with the house, he thought at first that Kimber was causing the issues herself or making them up. But he realized that that was not the kind of woman she was, and also that her aunt's house was old and they hadn't updated it much since they'd lived there together. He thought that some home improvement was probably due if he made the decision to go home, and patiently fixed all of the little issues that the old house threw at him while he was away.

But sometimes he did wish that he had someone to talk to about the way he felt about Kimber's encounter with Paul. He found himself wanting to call Sierra more and more as time went on. It wasn't that he wanted to screw things up even more by creating an immense pile of shit and starting another affair with her, it was that he knew that she had to feel at least some of what he felt.

Sierra

Sierra was a little drunk when the phone rang. She sighed, figuring that it was Paul and that there was something about their son that worried him or he thought he wasn't doing right. He was certainly less uptight than he had been when she was pregnant or right after their son was born, but he still drove her crazy sometimes thinking that he wasn't being the father that he should be. He was a wonderful father, and even with as much as she felt like she hated him sometimes, she would never try to take Nathan away from him.

When she looked at the caller ID, it read 'Lucas Stone.' Her heart started to beat fast. She was worried that there was something wrong with Kimber or the baby. She couldn't hate Kimber or wish any ill will towards the child that she carried.

"Hello."

"Hi Si. I'm drunk."

Sierra laughed. "I'm getting there too. Is everything okay?"

"Yep. I'm sorry for bugging you. I didn't think before I dialed your number. For all I know you're sitting next to your husband and my calling is going to start another fight."

Sierra sighed and took a sip of her wine. She knew that she was probably drinking too much lately, but she felt on edge all of the time. Nathan seemed to be getting another new tooth every time she turned around and teething made him so miserable. She was sure that it would have been hard enough on her as it was without having to deal with the fact that Paul may have impregnated Kimber.

"We're still separated. You and Kimber too, I guess."

"Yeah. It sucks huh? Do you ever think about them together?"

"I can't because it would drive me crazy. But it's pretty screwed up that we feel this way when we messed around for months though."

"Yeah. But you were pregnant and we were in love. Well, we weren't in love at the time when we were making love but you know what I mean Si-you were there too."

She laughed. "Yes I was. And I made the first real move. I just felt so unattractive and I had to know that someone still wanted me. Damn. I'm sorry Luke. I didn't mean it like that. I wouldn't have gone to bed with any other man. Or at least I hope I wouldn't have. You meant something to me. You'll always mean something me to. Paul still doesn't get it. He doesn't understand how I can still love you and desire you when he's the one that I want to be with."

"Kimber doesn't get that either. Do you think we should feel better or worse that they had sex when we made love?"

"Hell, I don't know. Probably better. If there wasn't a baby in the middle of all of this, we wouldn't be separated right now. I would have kicked him out for a couple days and yelled at him for being an asshole and talked him into having a lot more sex, but that would have been that."

"Yeah. We don't really have a right to say anything when we did what we did. But it makes me sick to think that Kimber is carrying your husband's baby. It would piss me off to no end that she was carrying another guy's kid anyway, but the fact that the child growing inside of my wife's body might be YOUR husband's Si, damn that's. . . I can't describe it."

"I know. That complicates things even more. If our spouses have a kid together, that means that if we stay married to them, we'll have to see each other. And that's going to drive everyone crazy. They'll be thinking that we're plotting to run away together or create a baby together so that they'll understand the way that we feel. That will have us all headed for divorce court sooner or later anyway. Do you think that you'll divorce her if the baby is Paul's?"

"With the way I feel right now I think that's the only fair thing to do. I love my daughter and I love Kimber, but I can't pretend that it's okay if her child isn't mine. I think that it would be hard enough if we had separated for more than a few weeks and she had ended up pregnant with someone else's kid and been honest about it from the get go. We were technically separated when it happened but it still really sucks. She pretty much told me that it was a great fuck too."

Sierra almost choked on the sip she had just taken of her wine. She swallowed and took a sip from the bottle of water that was sitting next to her wine on the table. "What? Okay, I'm not saying that Paul is a bad lover. But he doesn't want sex the way I do. He never has. Maybe if I hadn't met you that would be okay with me. But sex with you is incredible. Even when we weren't saying I love you, and when it was down and dirty screwing it was making love because it was this beautiful joining of our bodies."

Luke cleared his throat. "I know Si. That's one of the reasons that it was so easy for us to pretend that our affair was justified. You throw that together with the fact that we still love each other and it seems pretty damned easy to think that it was okay. But it wasn't and we both know that. If Kimber and Paul had had a history together and felt for each other what you and I feel for one another, it would be weird, but maybe it would be easier for us to understand? Hell, I don't know. Sometimes, sex is one thing and making love is another. Sometimes it's not. Maybe I would feel better if your husband hadn't just fucked my wife and maybe I wouldn't. I am so damned confused that it's driving me out of my mind."

"I know what you mean Luke. Do you think that if the baby is yours you'll go back to her? That your marriage will be the way it was? There's a part of me that wants that so badly for Paul and I, but I'm so afraid that things will never be the same."

"Life will be a lot less complicated all around if the baby is mine-that's for damned sure. My heart aches to think about divorcing Kimber. I love her so much. But I can't go home. It kills me to see the pain I'm putting her through when I pick Alexis up and drop her off, but until I'm 100% sure that I can act like a man and love the baby the way it should be loved whether it's mine or not, I can't go home."

"I don't think I could love Kimber's baby the way I love Nathan either. The thought of divorcing Paul really sucks, but I'm not going to hurt an innocent child to keep my husband in my life."

"Yeah." Luke sighed. She heard him light a cigarette and take a drink.

"You're smoking again?"

"Yeah. But I'm not dumb enough to do it around my daughter. I've been drinking way too much too and my song writing has definitely bit the big one lately."

"I'm sorry Luke."

"Not your fault babe. Fault is such a damned stupid word anyway. 'It's your fault' 'No it's your fault'. Boo fucking hoo. Get over it and admit what you did wrong and get past it. Or if you can't do that then walk away."

"Even if it breaks your heart."

"Yeah. It's so good to hear your voice Si. We should talk more often."

"Paul would freak."

"Yeah, Kimber probably would too."

"I'm horny Luke." It slipped out of her mouth. She wanted to take it back, because it hardly seemed appropriate.

He chuckled. "Did you say what I think you said Si?"

"It's nice to know that my sexual frustration amuses you Luke."

"Oh honey, your sexual frustration hardly amuses me. I've been pretty damned sexually frustrated myself lately. And the sound of your voice still gets me hot."

"Yeah, I think we should probably keep that between the two of us."

He chuckled. "When you demanded to talk to me the night that all of this crap started I heard your voice and wanted to cry. I think that I prefer the sound of your voice turning me on to it making me want to bawl like a baby."

"You wanna have phone sex?" She was kidding, but when she thought about it the idea started to sound more and more attractive.

"Um."

"I was kidding. Well, sort of. If the fact that you would be thinking of your wife is what makes you not want to do it, it's okay. I'll be honest with you and tell you up front that I'd be thinking about Paul."

Luke chuckled, but it sounded uncomfortable. "I don't know Si."

"It's okay Luke. You don't have to talk dirty to me. I'll be really pathetic and find some free porn on the internet."

"Damn Sierra. You really are horny."

"Women watch porn."

"I know, but thinking of you sitting in front of your computer screen watching something like that kinda freaks me out."

"Luke I am going to hang up now. You're starting to sound like Paul."

"I'm sorry Si. I'll talk dirty to you if you want me to."

"Now you're making me feel weird."

"Baby you were the first woman that I was really intimate with. That probably sounds dumb since I had a lot of sex before we were together, but it's true. I screwed those other women, plain and simple. It was intimate of course, but without really being intimate. If you're horny and want to have phone sex with your old lover while you think of your husband, then we can have phone sex. Your voice really does get me hot."

"It's starting to sound pathetic Luke. Almost as pathetic as touching myself while I watch unattractive people have uncomfortable looking sex on the internet."

"What are you wearing baby?"

Sierra laughed. "So cliché Luke."

"C'mon sweetheart. You're alone right?"

"Yeah. Paul has the baby."

"I'm alone too. We're both lonely and horny. It's harmless. Our respective spouses wouldn't even have a valid reason to yell at us because it's them we're thinking of."

"Paul would never have phone sex with me. When he went away for a week, I begged him to and he wouldn't."

"Pretend that he's not so damned uptight. I know you can talk dirty Si. You've got a mouth like a man in the bedroom."

"You made me that way. Okay Luke, let's do this."

And they proceeded to have phone sex. Sierra still felt a little weird after they had finished, but it felt strangely satisfying too. It had nothing to do with any kind of petty revenge. It wasn't as if Luke had been able to touch her through the phone line.

They hung up soon after, promising to talk more often, but she figured that their encounter had ended up feeling a little weird for him too. She showered, drank another glass of wine and went to bed, wondering when she would stop missing her husband almost as much as she missed her son when he was away from her.

Luke

Luke groaned when he woke up and the headache of hangover hit him. He lit a cigarette on the way to the bathroom, used the toilet and washed his hands and face. When he dropped back onto the bed, he realized that he had called Sierra the night before and they'd had phone sex.

"Shit."

He was beginning to believe more and more as the days passed that he could be a father to the baby whether or not it was his. It really sucked to think that his impulsiveness and soft spot for Sierra would make Kimber not want to let him come home. He knew that she wanted him to come home. She held onto him so tightly when he hugged her goodbye. But he wasn't sure how much it would bother his wife that he and Sierra had had phone sex.

Then again he thought it wasn't as if either of them had mentioned meeting for an in person encounter. Kimber had been the one he'd been thinking of when he'd been pleasuring himself. The sound of Sierra's voice did get to him, but it was an accepted fact in Luke's mind that Sierra would probably always turn him on.

He put his cigarette out in the overflowing ashtray, got up and took a shower. His head felt a little clearer. He wondered if he should call Kimber right away and confess to his phone call with Sierra or whether it would upset her unnecessarily. He still wasn't 100% positive that he could be the type of husband that she needed him to be and he wanted to feel completely sure of himself before he asked her about coming home for good.

Paul

Paul's work days seemed to take forever. He felt distracted and wondered if he should talk to a therapist, or make a confession to a priest, though he hadn't regularly attended church since he was a child. But he kept his mouth shut and kept his thoughts to himself as the days passed, unless it was to Sierra. He felt like he had lost not only his lover, but his best friend too. He and Sierra were so different, but when he was honest with himself she was not only his wife, but his most cherished friend as well.

He knew that she was trying and doing all that she felt she could where their marriage was concerned but he missed her so much. When she was in his arms for the brief moments when she allowed him to hug her goodbye, he could pretend that their marriage was what it used to be, or what he had always wanted it to be at least.

It still bothered Paul that the fact that he had turned down her sexual advances and had been so concerned about the safety of the baby even when he knew deep down that normal sexual activity would not harm their son, had driven her into Luke's arms. He had known since the first time they had had sex that Sierra was a sensual, sexual woman and it had scared him. She was so beautiful and so open with what she wanted in bed. There was a part of him that was convinced that he would never truly be able to satisfy her sexual urges.

But before everything had come out about his encounter with Kimber, he had been trying. And their sex life had been good. He loved making love to his wife. Paul enjoyed having sex with his wife more than he liked to admit. It bugged him that she got a little kinky sometimes, but he'd been sure that he could learn to enjoy at least some of what seemed to turn Sierra on. If he wanted to be completely honest with himself and ignore the voice in the back of his head that still told him that sex in marriage was best kept to two nights a week on designated days, he knew that most of the different positions that she wanted to try probably would turn him on too.

But between the fact that his parents had given him a very stern sex talk and the telltale squeaking of their bedsprings two nights a week, and what had happened with his high school girlfriend, letting go in the bedroom was still a scary thing to Paul. He loved Sierra so much that it hurt sometimes even when they weren't putting each other through the kind of pain they had put each other through in the past few months, but sex and love still sometimes seemed very separate to him.

Paul thought that therapy was definitely in order if Sierra made the decision to let him come home. He knew that it would be extremely hard for him to talk about sex in front of a stranger, but he knew that his wife needed him to try. He'd never meant to make her feel unattractive, even for a moment. She'd always been beautiful to him, even when she was smoking and smoking disgusted him.

Paul was a little concerned about Sierra's drinking. He knew that she didn't get drunk unless he had Nathan, but he didn't want her to end up dependent on alcohol. He was drinking a lot more himself than he ever had before too though. He knew that they were both using it to try to shut out the pain. He knew that it definitely wasn't working for him, and he was pretty sure it wasn't working for her either. But it unfortunately didn't stop him from having more than an occasional beer when Nathan was with Sierra as the days went by.

Sierra

Sierra felt guilty about having phone sex with Luke. She thought that it had changed their relationship in some irrevocable way, in a way that not even their affair had changed it. It also bothered her that she knew Paul would probably be upset over it. But she put off telling him because she was tired of arguing with him and it seemed so petty compared to their other indiscretions.

As far as Luke was concerned, she still found him attractive, but it had been Paul she'd been thinking of when they'd been whispering dirty things over the phone line. It didn't bother her that having phone sex had felt strange for both of them and it was something that they'd never do again. It bothered her that they might not be able talk the way they always had. It seemed dumb even to her since they had been much more intimate than phone sex, but it felt like she and Luke had taken steps to where they might not be friends anymore. And that hurt.

Sierra tried to be happy, but she wasn't really feeling it. She thought that if her son were older he would have been able to sense her mood. She thought that he did sometimes anyway. She cried a lot when he was napping or in bed and she definitely cried when Nathan was with Paul. Sierra felt like a basket case.

There was a part of her that wished she were a stronger woman and that she could stand by her man and continue to be his wife if he'd fathered Kimber's child. But she knew she couldn't. She held onto the hope that the baby was Luke's and that their marriage could be saved ever tighter as the days passed, much tighter than she was willing to admit to her husband, because she couldn't let him get his hopes up.

Kimber

Kimber felt hope fill her as the days passed. Luke held her more tightly and for longer every time he left her. He told her that he had been doing a lot of soul searching, and she hoped that he would find it within him to stand by her no matter what. She knew that the hope was a selfish one, but she felt it all the same.

He agreed to still accompany her to her doctor's appointments too, which was a huge relief. Luke hated hospitals and doctors, but Kimber wasn't very fond of them either and the thought of going to her checkups alone didn't sit well with her.

A month and a half after he had left, they all had a picnic together in the park. It felt so much like old times that Kimber cried for half an hour after she left Alexis with Luke and went home. But it felt good too and the hope that Luke would share her bed again didn't leave her.

Luke

Luke took a deep breath and then let it out. He lit the last cigarette in the pack and dialed his wife's cell phone number.

She picked up almost immediately. "Hi."

Luke thought that his beautiful, confident wife sounded almost shy. "Hello beautiful."

"Um hi."

Luke chuckled. "I can't call you beautiful anymore?"

"It's not that. It's just. . ."

"I know. I don't want to beat around the bush Kimber. I want to come home. I can't pretend anymore that my heart doesn't break every time I lie down to sleep at night and you're not beside me."

"Luke."

"But I need to tell you something first."

"Okay." He thought that her voice sounded cautious.

"I will stand by you no matter what happens with the baby. But I am in no way going to promise that I'm going to be a perfect husband if the child belongs to Paul. You'll have to be patient with me okay?"

"Yes."

"Promise me something Kimber."

"Anything."

"If I act like too big of an asshole, tell me. If I act like such an asshole if the baby is Paul's and I ever cause the kid to feel so bad that you can't stand to look at me anymore, file for divorce."

"I don't know if I can promise that Luke. I love you so much. I don't want to be a terrible mother, but I have been so lost without you. I'm so sorry that I screwed things up."

"I know babe. But Alexis has always been more important than me, and the baby is too, no matter who the father is. If I ever start to think that I can't hang I'll try to walk away before I mess things up, but if I don't, I need you to promise me that you will take matters into your own hands. Please Kimber. An innocent child doesn't deserve pain because an adult is acting like an asshole."

"I was the asshole Luke. You're too good to me."

"Baby none of that matters anymore. Well, yeah, it obviously does, but we both screwed up. And we have to act like adults and deal with it. I have searched my heart and my soul over and over in the time that we've been apart and I truly believe that I have the strength within me to love the baby like my own if it's not mine, to treat the child in the exact same way that I treat our daughter. But if that changes we both need to be able to deal with it in the right way. I need to know that you can do what's right for that child. None of this is the fault of an innocent child."

"I know. I promise you Luke. It hurts to say it, but I know you're right."

Luke let out a sigh of a relief. "That's my woman. Is Alexis home? No, she's probably at school huh?"

"She is at school. Bunny's mom Juliana is picking her up afterwards and then she's spending the night again. I hate to think of what it's going to be like when they're teenagers with all of the sleepovers they already have."

Luke chuckled. "I will miss her but I do believe that I would like to make love to my wife."

"Oh Luke."

"Do I detect a lack of enthusiasm in your voice?" He was teasing her. He thought that if she wanted him half as much as he wanted her they were both going to have an orgasm at the touch of bare skin to bare skin.

"Hardly. When are you coming home?"

"As soon as I check out of this place. Give me half an hour."

"I'll be waiting. You still remember where our bedroom is don't you?"

He laughed. "Yes darlin' I believe I do. I love you."

"I love you too Luke. Thank you so much."

"Honey, if you were any other woman this wouldn't be an issue. If I was the man that I was before I was with Sierra, it really wouldn't be an issue. But you were meant to be my woman, and I can't stand the thought of being without you. I never really could, I just had to know that I would do the right thing."

"I think I'm going to cry Luke. I'd better let you go."

"Don't cry baby. This is gonna be a good day. I'll see you in a bit. Bye Kimber."

"Goodbye Luke."

Luke hung up the phone and then packed his belongings. There wasn't much, but it still seemed to him to take forever. Once he had made the decision that he wanted to go home, every minute without Kimber started to feel like a thousand.

He checked out. The manager was sad to see him go since he was definitely one of the quietest tenants and everyone had loved Alexis when she'd stayed with him, but he got a wide grin on his face when Luke told him he was going home to his wife. The man wished him the best of luck.

Luke's heart was beating fast as he got behind the wheel of his vintage Mustang. He was only fifteen minutes away from home. He'd wanted to make sure that he was close enough that if Kimber needed him, he could be there quickly. It had also been close to both Alexis's school and her favorite local park.

He parked in his driveway, feeling like a man walking inside of a dream. He used his key to open the door and walked up the stairs. He thought that he could hear the pounding of his heart in his ears, beating like a drum to the tune of the love he felt for his wife.

Their bedroom door was cracked open. He pushed it the rest of the way open and drank in the sight of Kimber. She gave him a half smile. She was lying on the bed in panties and a bra; her cheeks flushed, looking so beautiful he could hardly stand it.

"Hello handsome."

"Hi gorgeous."

Kimber wrinkled her nose at him. "Six months pregnant and gorgeous? My husband is a little crazy."

He quickly rid himself of his clothes and crossed to the bed. "My wife is the crazy one if she thinks that she could ever be anything but gorgeous to me."

He kissed her, trying to communicate without words what he felt for her. Luke knew that if their marriage did end up in divorce that there would never be another woman for him. He had fooled himself into thinking for a while that if Sierra divorced Paul and he divorced Kimber, that he and Sierra could turn back time and rekindle their love. But he knew that it would have been a lie, and it would be a disservice to all four of them too. That's what had cemented his decision that if he got divorced, no other woman would carry his last name or have his child.

Luke figured that some people would probably think his decision was crazy, because he was still young and many people had been married more than once and men had certainly loved many more than two women. But Luke knew in his heart that he had already loved the women that he was meant to love. He didn't like to think of growing old alone, but that was the future he saw for himself without Kimber.

Kimber pulled back and looked into his eyes. "Luke are you okay?"

He smiled, though his mind still tended to dwell in darker spots that he didn't like to think about it. The songs he had written lately had been so full of pain that he had thrown them all out. He didn't want to share his pain with anyone, let alone hear the voice of another release it to the world since he couldn't sing himself.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm good. Having you in my arms again is enough to make all the darkness start to disappear. But I think that it might be a good idea if we went to counseling at least for a while."

She nodded, and then she grinned. "I think that a lot of sexual therapy is in order too."

"That's my wife. Oh how I love you Kimber. How I've missed you."

She put her finger to his lips. "I love you too. Now how about you show me?"

He grinned. "That I can always handle darlin'."

She sat up so that he could remove her underclothes. He noticed that his hands shook a little. He could tell that Kimber hid a smile.

Once she was nude, he let his eyes caress her body. Her face was red, but he had always loved the sight of her body, pregnant or not. It still bugged him that the child nestled in her womb might not be his, but he put it out of his mind. He laid a gentle hand and then a gentle kiss on her stomach and then kissed a trail back up to her mouth, stopping for a moment to savor both of her breasts.

She moaned into his mouth. He brought his hand between her legs. She opened for him readily and he let out a quiet moan of his own. He inserted a finger inside her wetness and probed her gently, then a little harder.

"Oh Luke." Her eyes had drifted closed.

He probed her mouth open gently with his tongue. She gave herself to him readily and openly, no longer a bit shy about her want for him.

Luke didn't think that he could ever get enough of kissing her, but several minutes later he pulled back. "Kimber."

She opened her eyes. "Yes?" Her blue eyes were full of unbridled passion.

"I know that even though we've been together for a while, that it still feels strange to you to look at me during foreplay or when we make love. I need you to look at me. It's not that I believe you want another man, or even that what you did with Paul was anything other than sex. I don't think I can really explain to you the way that I feel. But when we make love, I need you to try to keep your eyes open. You shouldn't be embarrassed. The expression on your face when I make you come is breathtaking."

"I'll try. It just feels strange to keep my eyes open."

"I know baby. Thank you for trying for me."

He kissed her slowly and softly and then returned his attention to her breasts. Kimber's breasts were super sensitive when she was pregnant. They had had lots and lots of incredible foreplay and sex when she'd been pregnant with Alexis.

He sucked and nipped at her breasts, while keeping the steady massage of his fingers going between her legs. He wanted to taste her on his tongue but Kimber wasn't comfortable with any form of oral sex during pregnancy. She had given him a look that could kill when he had brought it up to the doctor when she'd been pregnant with their daughter, because he'd thought that her concerns were for the safety of the baby. They were, but she had other concerns as well, concerns that she hadn't wanted to discuss in front of her doctor.

When he felt her tighten around his fingers, he slowed their movement down a bit and moved to her side so that he could look into her eyes. He could see that she was fighting with herself to keep her eyes locked on his, but she gave him a slight smile and offered him her beautiful blue gaze.

When he brought her to orgasm, she took his mouth with hers. She bit his tongue a little when the peak of her climax hit, but he didn't mind.

She pulled back slightly and sighed. "Oh Luke. I love you."

"I love you."

He brought his mouth back to hers. Since they were both on their sides and that was her preferred sexual position when she was further into pregnancy, he entered her when he could no longer stand not to be inside of her.

She let out a quiet moan and then smiled at him. "Perfection as usual."

"Mmm, oh yes. My beautiful, beautiful Kimber."

He made love to her slow and easy, only quickening his thrusts when he felt the onrush of orgasm. He took her hand and twined their fingers together. His eyes were a bit moist when he reached climax, and his voice was hoarse when he cried out her name.

She touched his face, never taking her eyes off of his until his movements had stilled. She turned her head long enough to brush something off of her face and then returned her gaze to his. Luke believed that it was a tear. He gently withdrew from her, already missing the feel of their intimacy. He felt like he could make love to her over and over and never get enough.

He put his arms around her and held her for a few quiet moments, then drew back, took her hand and led her to the shower. They made love three more times that day. It was a record even for Luke and he was afraid that he would leave her feeling sore and uncomfortable the next day, but Kimber assured him that she was fine and that he had been as good to her in bed as always.

When he went to sleep that night with his wife in his arms, Lucas Stone was more content than he had been since the day of Kimber's confession.

Kimber

Kimber sat up in bed and stretched. She looked over at her husband and a smile brightened her face. It was so good to have him beside her again. Then her smile faded a little. She was deathly afraid that even if he pretended to love the baby the way he loved Alexis if he was Paul's, that he would never really love her son the way he loved their daughter. She was sure that the child she carried was a boy.

Luke opened his eyes and looked at her. He smiled. "Good morning beautiful."

"Good morning. I love you."

"I love you too." He squeezed her hand. "Alexis is coming home after school right?"

Kimber nodded. "Yes. She'll be so glad to see that Daddy is home."

"Daddy is glad to be home. Do you feel okay?"

"Yes. I'm not sore if that's what you're asking. You've never tried to push me to do anything that made me even remotely uncomfortable in bed Luke. An encore might not be the best idea in the world, but I think at least one round of lovemaking today is probably in order." She winked. "But I do have to pee."

He took her hand and helped her out of bed. She went to the bathroom, used the toilet, washed her hands and brushed her teeth. Luke passed her on her way out. He gave her a quick kiss. "I need to tell you something. I'll just be a minute."

Her heart started pounding in her chest. "Okay."

When he came back to the bedroom, he said "This might be better left unsaid since it wasn't a big deal, especially with the indiscretions that have taken place on both our parts in the past few months, but I feel like I should tell you."

"Um, okay."

"I had phone sex with Sierra."

Kimber laughed. "You're kidding me right?"

Luke sighed. "No. I shouldn't have called her. I was drunk. She was a little drunk too. You had Alexis of course and Paul had their baby. We kinda bitched about you and Paul for a while. Then Sierra blurted out that she was horny. One thing led to another. It ended up being kind of weird so it's not like it's going to happen again. And I know that I shouldn't talk to someone else about our problems, even if they're facing the same sort of thing as I am. I always thought we had pretty good communication in our marriage, but when something like my affair and your one-night stand with Paul happens, you have to reevaluate things."

"Yeah. It is kinda weird that you had phone sex with her, but it's not like people don't pay to do the same thing all the time. Thank you for telling me. I understand how talking to her would be easier than talking to me. And she does understand what you're going through. She and Paul separated didn't they?"

"Yeah. She said that she misses him, but that she doesn't think that she can hang if the baby is Paul's."

Kimber sighed. "I understand that. It is going to be so much easier if the baby is yours Luke. I have a feeling that he is, but I have sent up so many prayers and hopes and wishes for him to be your son in every way."

Luke smiled. "You think it's a boy?"

"I do. They should do an ultrasound at my next appointment but you can't always tell. I just have a feeling though."

"You knew Alexis was going to be a girl."

"I did. How about I make breakfast?"

"How about I make breakfast? I asked around a bit and there's a good family counselor with an office not too far from Alexis's school. I'm not sure how much good it will do Alexis or if she'd even understand a bit of what's going on until she's older, but I figured we could give it a try. Or we could do the marriage counseling thing and leave her out of it, and then figure out how to explain this to her when she is older."

"I feel like a bitch for lying to her when you were gone the first time. I know that she's young and doesn't understand the concept of affairs and the chance that her little brother isn't her daddy's son probably won't make sense, but it doesn't do any good to try to hide it. We did too much hiding already. We might have to explain again when she is older whether the baby is Paul's or not to make sure that she does understand, but the counselor should be able to help us figure out how to do that."

"I hope so." He gave her his hand and they went downstairs.

He made them French toast. It was delicious. They made love again and then made an appointment for their first session with a family counselor. They were lucky enough to get in within two weeks. Kimber was satisfied that they could talk things out between the two of them until then.

Paul

Life was hard for Paul. He missed Sierra. He missed the sound of her voice, the way she smelled, the feel of her body next to his in bed. It was hard seeing her when he picked Nathan up and dropped him off because she was so breathtakingly beautiful to him, but he thought that it would have hurt even more not to see her.

He drifted through his days and felt like he wasn't giving his all at work, though his boss thought he was doing well enough that there might be a raise and another promotion in his future. The thought held little interest for Paul. He liked his job, but his mind was too filled with worries for the future to really give anything else much thought.

He was worried that he would lose Sierra forever whether the baby was his or not. Her betrayal had made him feel like his heart had been torn out of his chest without anesthesia and ripped to shreds, but he knew that his was worse. He was also worried that if Kimber's child belonged to him, he would never love him or her the same way that he loved Nathan.

He loved and adored Nathan because he was his father. But he loved and cherished his son even more so because Sierra was his mother. He barely knew Kimber. She was beautiful and he knew that she was smart and had done well with her bookstore. From his understanding she had inherited it when she was pretty young and had been running it virtually by herself ever since and it did well.

So he figured that genetics wise, if he and Kimber had created a child he had nothing to worry about. The fact that the child belonged to someone other than the woman that he loved was what bothered him so much. He realized that many men and women loved children wholeheartedly that they had created with people that they felt less than favorably towards. He certainly didn't feel any ill will towards Kimber, but he worried that he would never be the father to her child that he wanted to be to Nathan.

And that weighed on his mind more and more as the days passed. He started to feel a little better about his relationship with Sierra. She was trying to be nice to him and seemed a little less annoyed when he called her to ask her a question or to voice a concern when he had Nathan. She even let him get away with giving her a hug and kiss goodbye most of the time, but he knew that she wasn't ready for him to come home and that she might never be ready for him to come home. The thought broke his heart but he also knew that if they reconciled, it would have to be Sierra's decision and that he would have to have a whole hearted belief that she wanted it before he could return home.

Sierra

Sierra opened the door with a half-smile on her face. She was hungry and looking forward to enjoying the calzone that she had ordered. Nathan was asleep and she was also looking forward to a quiet night. The delivery guy was early too and that was definitely unusual.

But when she opened the door, it wasn't a delivery guy or girl that was standing on her doorstep. It was her husband. He looked so handsome that she could hardly breathe. She missed him so much, and even with Kimber's due date looming ever closer, she felt her resolve cracking more and more every time that she saw him. She still wasn't sure if she could tell him that she could accept him being the father of another woman's child and mean it though. Especially when that other woman happened to be Luke's wife.

He handed her a bouquet of flowers with a hesitant smile. She had let him get away with hugging and kissing her lately when he picked Nathan up and dropped him off, but he hadn't made any moves to try to push it further or to ask if he could come home.

"Paul, I thought you were taking Nathan tomorrow night. He's sleeping. I already gave him his bath. With any luck he'll be down for the night."

"Can I come in?"

Sierra nodded. Paul entered the house and shut the door quietly behind them. "Can I cook you dinner?"

"I ordered dinner. Did you come over here to ask me out on a date? That's kind of weird since we're married."

Paul chuckled. "You're beautiful."

"Paul, please don't do this. You know that I love you. You can probably see in my eyes that I miss you, but I still can't say that I can be your wife the way I was before. Until I can say that, I'm not going to try to fool either of us."

"Sierra, living without you has been so hard. I know that this whole mess has been hard on everyone, but what does it hurt for me to ask you out on a date now and again? It is kinda weird I guess since we're married and have a child together, but I feel like if we could start over, that our marriage could be even better than before. I will do anything to make it up to you."

"I know that you would take what you did with Kimber back if you could. But you can't. She's going to have the baby before we know it and then it's going to be time for you to go and find out if you're the father of that baby. I want to stand by you, and I think that maybe if the baby isn't yours, we can get past this. But if the baby is yours, I don't think that I can. I won't lie to you. I think that if we went out on dates and you got your hopes up of us being back together and then it turned out that the baby is yours and I had to walk away from you again, that it would be too hard on both of us. Why should we put ourselves through more pain unnecessarily? Maybe if you take the test and the baby isn't yours, then we can talk about going out on dates or even about you coming home. Until then I don't think it's a good idea."

"Sierra, every moment I spend with you feels like a gift. Even if the baby is mine, I would like to have time with you until then. If the child is mine and you tell me that you can't be my wife anymore, I will walk away from you. I will willingly sign the divorce papers and I will not fight you on anything. You can have the house, and I'll pay you whatever amount of alimony and child support they tell me to and give you whatever you ask for on top of it. Because I know that you will not take advantage of me. I know that I hurt you, and that what I did with Kimber was ten times worse than what you did with Luke. But it would mean so much to me for you to think about going out with me. It wouldn't cause me pain. And even if it does, I will take that pain if it means that I get to spend time with you."

"What if I don't want to take that pain?"

There was a knock at the door. She started to get up, but Paul motioned for her to stay seated. She hid a sigh as he paid for her food, even though it would technically have been his money that was paying for it anyway, even if she had taken it out of her own pocket.

He shut the door. "Let me get you a plate. Is there still a vase in the kitchen for the flowers? Would you like something to drink?"

"Paul you don't have to wait on me hand and foot."

"You work so hard keeping up the house and taking care of Nathan. You deserve a break."

Sierra let her sigh out. "The vase is under the kitchen sink. I would like a glass of wine and you're welcome to share the calzone with me."

He smiled. "Thank you."

He returned several minutes later with her plate and a glass of wine. She took a sip and watched him walk back to the kitchen. The way he moved turned her on more than she liked to admit. He was wearing his glasses instead of his contacts. It had bugged her for so long because they hid his gorgeous eyes, but tonight he looked so sexy she could hardly stand it.

He sat next to her on the couch and took a sip of his wine. "This is good."

"Yeah. I have unfortunately drunk all too much of it lately after Nathan's been in bed. Wow that made me sound like a terrible mother."

"I would never think you're a terrible mother. You look so stressed. You should let me give you a massage."

She made a face at him. "No way. Your massages are way too intimate."

Paul chuckled. "I won't make any move that you don't want me to."

"Like that's any kind of a comfort. You know how horny I get."

Paul cleared his throat. "I do."

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm not saying that you still get me horny. Oh, who in the hell am I kidding? Looking at you makes me horny, but my hormones don't have a brain or a heart."

He touched her face. "I dream of you every night. Sometimes, when I'm really lonely, I can fool myself into thinking that I feel the heat of your body beside me."

"Shut up right now or I will make you leave. You can't make me feel this way anymore. You have no right."

"Oh Sierra. Maybe I should go."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'm a bitch. Please stay."

"Thank you." He squeezed her hand briefly and then let go.

They were silent as they ate. She drained her glass of wine and went to the kitchen for another. She was halfway through her second glass when she knew that she was going to make what could be a huge mistake, but it wasn't going to stop her.

"Paul, will you kiss me?"

A faint smile crossed his face, but it quickly faded. "I don't want you to do something that you're going to regret later. I'm willing to put my heart on the line and take the chance that I'll lose you again after the DNA test comes back, but if you're not willing to do that, I understand. I've put you through enough pain already."

"Shut up and kiss me."

When Paul kissed her, she felt such passion that she was overwhelmed. He was all raw emotion when his lips touched hers. She was blown away by what he put into his kiss. It was like he was saying everything he wanted to say to her without putting it into words. She felt tears prick her eyes when she pulled away.

He looked at her face and tears filled his eyes too. "Oh baby, I am so sorry. I'm going to go now. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know Paul. And I never meant to hurt you. I can't help but think that this is all my fault. Luke called me, but if I hadn't made the first real move, we probably wouldn't have made love. I was selfish. I thought that if you weren't giving me what I needed, that I had a right to get it from someone else. I justified it by thinking that I loved Luke. I do love Luke, but we had no right to do what we did. And if we hadn't been so damned selfish, you and Kimber wouldn't have done what you did. We all acted like a bunch of assholes and now we have to deal with it. But I don't want you to go. I feel like I'm being really selfish when I can't say that I'll let you kiss me like that again before the DNA test comes back, but I am vulnerable right now and I want you to stay with me tonight."

"Sierra, I don't want you to feel like I'm putting any kind of pressure on you."

She gave him a dirty look. "Paul, think of who you're talking to. When have you ever had to put any kind of pressure on me to do anything even remotely sexual with you?"

He grinned. "Never."

"So finish your wine and then maybe I'll let you give me a massage."

They finished their wine in silence. She took his plate and both of their empty glasses and carried them to the kitchen. When she returned to the living room, she took his hand and led him toward the stairs. He looked a little stunned and it reminded her of the first time that she had seduced him. She thought that it was a little funny that her hormones still surprised him after all this time, but Paul was Paul and always would be.

She left him in their bedroom while she checked on Nathan. He was still sleeping peacefully, so she went back down the hall, taking a deep breath and letting it out before she opened the bedroom door. She felt selfish for doing to him what she was sure allowing him to give her a massage was going to lead to, but she was a little too buzzed to care.

He was sitting uncomfortably on what had been his side of the bed. Without ceremony she stripped. She let him drink in the sight of her body, feeling like a bitch the whole time. She turned away from him, retrieving the lotion from the nightstand that she liked him to use when he gave her a massage. She handed it to him. He took it and she noticed his hands were shaking. His eyes didn't leave her body.

She lay on her belly on the bed, pulling her hair up into a bun and securing it with a hair tie. When he still hadn't moved, she sighed.

"Paul, take your shoes off. Take your shirt off too, if you don't mind."

"I um. . ."

"I didn't ask you to take your pants off, though you can take them off if you want to. I'm not going to freak out if you have an erection."

"Sierra, I'm really sorry but I don't know if I can do this."

Sierra groaned. "Don't tease me Paul. I know I'm being a bitch, but I have been stressed. Don't promise me a massage and then go back on it."

"You are so beautiful. I'm afraid that I'll do something that you don't want me to."

"I'm the one that brought you to our bedroom, my bedroom whatever. I'm the one that got naked and let you get a nice eyeful. I've never been a tease. If something sexual happens in this bed tonight, don't think that I'm going to want it any less than you do. Wait, I'm forgetting who I'm talking to. I would want it way more than you do because I always have."

"Sierra, I want you so badly that I can taste it. But. . ."

"Okay, I was going to seduce you and not care if I was being a bitch and stomping all over your feelings, but I don't want to play bullshit games anymore. We're going to be honest from now on, even if the truth really fuckin' hurts. If we make love or have sex, I have to know that you can handle it. I have to know that your heart can take the fact that this may be the very last time that we make love. I'm horny and want to tear your clothes off. But I can separate what my body is screaming for and what my heart feels. It doesn't mean that I love you any less. It means that if our bodies join together in the most intimate of ways tonight, that I want to make sure it's really damned good because it might be the last time. But I don't know if you can make that separation."

"I don't know if I can either, but it's a chance that I'm willing to take."

Sierra smiled. "Get naked for me handsome."

When Paul stood naked before her, she groaned. "You look way too good. It should be illegal for a man to look the way you look. Have you been working out? And did you change the cologne that you wear? You smell even better than you did before. I think that you're doing it on purpose to drive me crazy."

Paul smiled. "I haven't been working out. But I did change my cologne. I'm glad you like it."

He moved to the bed. She closed her eyes when she felt his hands on her body. His hands were gentle. Sierra let all thought leave her mind. She let her body feel what it wanted to feel and that was the caress of the man that she loved. Her feelings for him hadn't changed and they never would. Pain didn't make them any less real. She would always love Paul, in the same way that she would always love Luke, but in a different way too. Paul was meant to be hers, while Luke had been a man that she had been lucky enough to hold onto for a fleeting moment before he had to fly away and find the woman he was meant to be with.

Paul kissed the back of her neck and she shivered. "Sierra?"

"Yes?"

"Will you look at me sweetheart?"

Sierra turned.

"I have to know that you want this as much as I do."

Sierra laughed. "Honey, I am so hot right now, I'm surprised we both haven't gone up in flames. Kiss me Paul."

His kiss was hungry. She brought her hand to his manhood and stroked it lightly. He groaned. "Oh Sierra."

She brought her mouth back to his and gave him her tongue. He pulled back several minutes later and stilled her hand.

"Honey, let me please you. If this is our last night together, I want to make it memorable for you. It kills me to think that this is the last time I'll ever make love to you, but I want you to feel everything that I feel for you in my touch, in my kiss. Let me love you Sierra, the way that you deserve to be loved."

She offered him a half smile. "If you insist."

He went to work with his hands and his mouth on her neck and her breasts. He took his time and then kissed his way down her stomach and arrived between her legs. She came to orgasm quickly because Paul had always been very talented at oral sex, but he wasn't satisfied and didn't remove his face from between her thighs until she had flowed into his mouth a second time.

She was feeling a little dazed when he looked up at her. "Sierra?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have a condom?"

She wanted to laugh. It had been forever since they had used a condom, and they were still married, weren't even technically legally separated. But then she figured that he was worried that she might get pregnant. She pondered the idea for a minute. She loved Nathan and knew that there would definitely come a time when she wanted another baby. But it certainly didn't seem like the right thing to do to bring a child into what might turn into a divorce by the time it was born.

But she also wanted to feel him inside of her, in the way that she had never been able to feel him when he wore a condom. She bit her lip. She wanted him so badly, but she knew that she couldn't let her hormones screw everything up yet again. She sighed and turned to the night stand where she knew there should be a condom.

There was one and she handed it to him. He gave her a look as he accepted it. "You okay? Are you sure you want this?"

She did laugh then. "Dumb question Paul. My sex drive is screaming at me and saying that you don't need to put that thing on because I want to feel you in every way possible. Then my brain stepped in and threw logic in. Sometimes, I really hate it when it does that. But I want you to know that if we do get back together, you are never using one of those damned things again. I will get any form of birth control possible to prevent you from having to use a rubber."

Paul chuckled. "I love you Sierra."

"I love you too Paul. Now love me and make it good."

Her eyes drifted closed as he entered her. She sighed, but it was a sigh of utter contentment. She opened her eyes and looked into his. His emotion was almost too much for her, but she made herself keep her eyes locked on his as he moved above her.

Their bodies were joined together in a moment that felt like forever but was all too short at the same time. She wasn't sure how long it took him to come to orgasm. She felt like she had been transported to another world when he was inside of her. He'd already made her come again, but he didn't withdraw from her until he had made her come yet again with his fingers.

When he moved off of her, she lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She wanted a cigarette like she hadn't wanted one in months. She still had a pack hidden, but she hadn't smoked since the day he had left her when he had found her trying on the engagement ring that Luke had bought her.

He brushed his hand across her cheek. "Sierra are you okay?"

She laughed. "Baby, you just blew my mind four times over. I think you've certainly given me a night to remember. I'm fine, I'm more than fine. I hope that this isn't our last night together, but if it was it was worth it. And if it wasn't I wouldn't mind if you blew my mind like that on many more nights." She winked at him.

He chuckled. "Do you mind if I check on Nathan before we shower? Or I guess you can take a shower by yourself if you want to."

"Our shower's always been big enough for two. Go. I'll be right here."

She watched him walk away. It hurt to think about losing him, but she knew that she couldn't be the wife that he deserved if Kimber's baby was his.

He returned a few minutes later. "He is so perfect."

Sierra smiled. "Isn't it weird that all these imperfect people create perfect children?"

"Yes. If we get through this, do you think that you might be ready to talk about having another baby?"

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I want to be pregnant with your baby again. You might decide you don't like sex again, and all teasing aside Paul, I can't take that."

He took her hand and squeezed it. "I know babe. You were gorgeous when you were pregnant, but I never wanted to make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry that I made you think that I didn't want you anymore. I've always wanted you so much that it scares me."

Sierra laughed. "Honey that's called your hormones and it's normal. Sometimes I feel like I married a woman."

Paul made a face at her. "Thank you Sierra."

"I didn't mean it like that Paul. It's just frustrating that you don't seem to enjoy sex as much as I do. You're a fantastic lover when you let go. Tonight, you did blow my mind. But to think that you had hot sex with Kimber pisses me off."

"Sierra."

"Don't try to lie to me and say that you didn't. I've talked to Luke."

Paul sighed. "Do I have to worry about you two?"

"Don't. Just don't. If you can't understand the way I feel for Luke, stop trying. I don't think of him when we have sex. I'm not going to say that I've never thought of another man when you were on top of me, or that I've never thought of him when we made love. But when you came back home the last time, I realized that even if I had been dumb enough to run away with Luke, that I would have come crawling back to you on my hands and knees within weeks, if not days. When I was all wrapped up in this fantasy with Luke during our affair, there were times that I wished it was his child that I carried. I think that he probably did too. But Luke and I were not meant to be together forever. We were meant to be together at that time. He enriched my life, and opened me up to the beautiful possibilities of how absolutely fantastic sex can be. Even if I had said yes when he proposed, we would have been divorced long before now. So stop with the bullshit. He called me a while back and we were both horny so we had phone sex. But I haven't seen him and even if we get a divorce and he and Kimber do the same we will not end up back together. Luke and I left our relationship unfinished. We messed around and we shouldn't have, but we finished it."

"You had phone sex with Luke?"

Sierra rolled her eyes. "He was drunk, I was drunk. We both whined about you and Kimber for a while. I opened my big mouth and said that I was horny. He said he was horny too. One thing led to another. But it sure as hell wasn't his hand that was touching my body."

"You could have called me."

"I was depressed and pissed at you. You had Nathan and I missed both my baby and my man. It's easy to admit that I miss our son. Missing you comes with a lot of hurt and a bunch of mixed up emotions. Even if I had called you, we would not have had phone sex. I would have yelled at you and just made things worse. So I think that it was a lot better that I had phone sex with Luke."

"It drives me crazy to think that you still love him."

"Get over it. If you had some woman in your past that you still loved I wouldn't torture myself thinking about living up to your memory of her. If the baby isn't yours, and we do get back together, we are going to get all of this shit dealt with. We are going to talk about any doubts that we have and anything that makes either of us feel like our marriage isn't what it should be. And we are definitely going to have more sex. Our sex life had been a lot better before all this crap came up and you truly floored me with what you did to me tonight, but I like sex. I like lots of sex. I like different positions and doing it in interesting places. That's harder when you have a child, but I think I can come up with plenty of ways to keep our sex life interesting."

"Why can't we do all of that now? Why waste time? We can start counseling."

Sierra sighed. "I don't want you to waste your money on counseling now when I'm almost positive that I can't stay married to you if Kimber's baby is yours."

"But if we talked about it, then maybe you would change your mind."

"Babe, I love you and I'm truly sorry, but I don't think that any amount of talking could convince me to remain your wife if the baby is yours."

Paul took her into his arms. "I'm so sorry Sierra."

"I know Paul."

He held her for several minutes, and then he took her hand and led her to the shower. Their shower was very intimate but he refused to penetrate her without a condom so they retired to the bedroom and made love a second time.

Sierra pushed everything out of her head when she went to sleep that night besides the feeling of being in her husband's arms, because she knew that it wouldn't last.

Kimber

Kimber felt amazing having Luke home. Alexis was also much happier. But Kimber still felt like she carried the weight of her betrayal with her everywhere she went, and since her betrayal had to do with the child that she carried, in a way she did.

Their first therapy session did not go well or at least Kimber didn't think that it did. The woman was kind. They all sat down. She asked Alexis a few questions and then gave her crayons and a coloring book. Then she turned to Luke and Kimber.

"I do have some background information, but I like clarity with my patients. Would one of you please explain what it is that brought you here?"

Luke cleared his throat. "We both cheated. I had an affair with an old lover and Kimber had a one-night stand with Sierra's, she's my ex's; husband. The main reason that we're here is because my wife is pregnant and she had unprotected sex with this man, Paul. There's a chance that he may be the father of her child."

The woman kept her face a careful blank. "I see. So Mr. Stone, you said that you had an affair with your ex, this Sierra. Was there some sort of problem in your marriage that you feel led you to have that affair?"

"You can call me Luke. There was no problem in our marriage. Sierra was having problems in her marriage at the time. It was a shock when I saw her after so long. She and Paul moved here and she was a teacher at Alexis's school. Things had always felt kind of unfinished between us. I proposed to her and she turned me down, but it still felt like there was something between us. I met Kimber a few years later and I fell in love with her almost at first sight, but I still love Sierra. I'm not in love with her, but I'll always love her."

"Okay. Did you tell Kimber about your relationship with Sierra when you were dating or earlier on in your marriage?"

"Um, no I didn't. It felt strange. I know that it bugs some women when guys do that, you know, talking about other women that they've been with. I never wanted her to think that I compared her to Sierra, or that Sierra was the one I wanted to be with. I should have told her and I feel like this whole mess if my fault since I called Sierra."

"Uh huh. Mrs. Stone, how did you learn of your husband's affair?"

Kimber cleared her throat. "You can call me Kimber. Uh, Paul walked into my bookstore one night and he told me. He said that he'd come home early from work and found his wife trying on the engagement ring that Luke had bought for her and that she'd confessed to their affair."

"And how did you feel when you heard that Kimber?"

"I was devastated. I realize that my husband is a very attractive man and I had experienced problems with men that I'd been with previously cheating when other women found them so desirable as well, but I had never thought that I'd have to worry about that with Luke. Up until that point, I had felt like our marriage was strong."

"And after?"

"I felt like I had been living a lie. I confronted him and I made him leave our home. I feel bad because I lied to Alexis and said that he was away on a trip." She glanced at their daughter, who wasn't paying attention to the adults. Her tongue was sticking out of the corner of her mouth like it sometimes did when she was concentrating hard. "She's so young and I wasn't sure how to handle it."

"We'll help you come up with better ways to communicate with your daughter from here on out. She is young, but it can certainly be hurtful to lie to children. Luke, how did you explain your indiscretion to your wife? Had your affair ended by that point?"

"It had. There are some things that I feel like I need to say about the affair. I don't know if they're relevant and I'm in no way justifying what I did, but I feel like it needs to be said."

"Go ahead."

"Well, before I was with Sierra I was a playboy. I messed around. When I became involved with her. . ." He cleared his throat and glanced at Alexis, who was still in the world of imagination. "It was just um. . . I'm sorry. I know that this is family counseling, but I don't feel comfortable discussing this in front of our daughter."

"Yes. Alexis, we're going to take your coloring book and your crayons and you can go sit with Arliss okay? Mommy and Daddy will be with you in a few minutes."

Alexis nodded. She gathered the crayons and the coloring book, waved goodbye to her parents and then followed the therapist out of the room.

Once the woman had returned and sat back down, she said "Your daughter is in the very capable hands of my receptionist. She has eight children and nineteen grandchildren. Go ahead Luke."

He glanced quickly at Kimber and then looked away. "Well, my relationship with Sierra was just sexual at first. I wasn't sleeping with other women the way I'd always done before, but I felt differently towards her than I'd ever felt towards a woman. I loved her and being with her made me feel like I wanted to settle down. She wasn't ready. She was four years younger than me and going off to school. Even though I told her that we didn't have to get married right away when I proposed, she still wouldn't tell me yes. It hurt. I left the town we had lived in and came here. I stayed away from women for a while. Then I walked into the bookstore and saw Kimber. She was so beautiful. I looked at her and thought that she could be the woman I needed to replace Sierra in my heart. No, that came out wrong. I didn't exactly want her to replace Sierra. Maybe I wanted her to fill the hole that it felt like Sierra had left. I don't know. But anyway, Kimber and I started dating. We fell in love, got married and had Alexis. Back then, she was running her book store pretty much by herself and I was taking care of Alexis full time since I work from home. I'm a song writer and it never bothered me to take care of Alexis. She distracted me sometimes of course, but I love her so much and she's this huge inspiration for me too. After Alexis turned three, we agreed that she could use more interaction with other kids her age, so we enrolled her in a local preschool. I took her to school the first day and saw Sierra."

"Okay. So you said that Sierra was a teacher at your daughter's school. How did you feel when you saw her again?"

Luke looked at Kimber again and then looked away. "She was so beautiful. It was like time had stopped. I felt like I was walking in a dream until Alexis said something and it kind of broke me out of my stupor. I looked at my daughter and down at my wedding ring and realized that the beautiful woman I was looking at was no longer mine."

"I see. How did your affair start?"

"Sierra was pregnant at the time and had to go on bed rest so she quit working of course. We hadn't really talked and I was worried about her. So I made a dumb move and called her. I guess it was stupid to think that we could be friends with what we'd had together, but I felt at the time like I really wanted to finish things. I never planned on sleeping with her, or even kissing her. She was pregnant and married to another man, and I had a wife and child that I adored. But I still shouldn't have called her, or at least asked her to meet me."

"Hmm. Where did you two meet?"

"At my house. Or the house that I used to live in before I moved in with Kimber since her house was bigger. Do I need to go into how it happened? Kimber and I already talked about it some and I don't want to hurt her any more than I already have."

"It's perfectly normal not to want to discuss the actual intimate details Luke. So you said that your marriage was good, no problems. But you mentioned that Sierra was having problems in her marriage-is that correct?"

"Yes. Um, her sex life with her husband wasn't the greatest. I think that's what caused her to make the first move. She felt like she wasn't attractive anymore and it only made it worse because she was pregnant. I still found her attractive. I should have told her that instead of demonstrating it. I should have talked her into talking it out with Paul. But I didn't. We had sex two or three times a week while Alexis was at school from the time she was six months along until she had the baby. I was with her when she went into the labor."

"I see. How did that make you feel?"

Luke gave Kimber a look that she couldn't read, and she felt like her heart skipped a beat.

"Do I have to talk about this?"

"If something makes you uncomfortable you don't need to speak of it. But I do believe it's important to get your thoughts and feelings out into the open so that you and your wife will understand what led to both of your affairs and will be able to communicate better in the future."

Luke took a deep breath and then let it out. "Okay. Um, when I looked at Sierra while she was pregnant, there were times that I wished the baby was mine. But I knew it was wrong to feel that way. I also believe that Kimber is the woman I was meant to be with and that even if Sierra and I had gotten married that it wouldn't have worked out. But when you're doing something that you know you shouldn't, sometimes you have to justify it to be able to look at yourself in the mirror. So I justified it in my head. I told myself that I loved Sierra and that if her husband was taking better care of her, that she wouldn't have turned to me."

"I see. Was the day of the birth of Sierra's child the last time you two were intimate?"

"No. I brought her flowers and chocolates and an outfit for her son. I dropped it off at her house while Alexis was at school. We had sex that day too. I know that was really wrong because I went over there to tell her that we couldn't see each other anymore."

"But you didn't see her again after that, at least intimately?"

"Right."

"Do you believe you would have told your wife about your affair if Sierra hadn't confessed to her husband and he hadn't told Kimber?"

"I knew that Kimber had had bad relationships before we were together. She was cautious about marrying me, even though I know she loves me. So, I wasn't really planning on telling her. At least right away. I didn't want to hurt her and I didn't want to lose her either. It's selfish and wrong, but Sierra and I had closed the door on our relationship for good."

"Ah. Kimber, what led to your sexual encounter with Paul?"

"When he told me about Luke and Sierra's affair, he wanted to kiss me but he couldn't do it."

"Okay. Did you find Paul attractive?"

"Yes, but before then, the thought of being with a man besides Luke didn't cross my mind in anything other than a casual way. We're human so we find people other than our spouses attractive. We may even fantasize about them, or sometimes, even if you have a great sex life with your spouse, it's exciting to think of someone else while you're making love, even if it's only for a little while. I had done that before, but our sex life was never an issue. Paul wanted to kiss me because he wanted Sierra to feel the way that he felt."

"Do you feel that revenge is the motivation behind what led to your affair?"

"Yes. Um, it was a few weeks later. Luke and I were still separated. I missed him so much but I couldn't let him come home because our marriage did feel like a lie. After he told me about Sierra and what he'd had with her, I felt like I was his second choice and that bugged me. It was always in the back of my mind that even if I let him come home and we worked on our marriage, that there would always be a chance that he would leave me for her because she was the one he really wanted to be with."

"Did you tell him this?"

"Our communication wasn't very good while we were separated, especially since I lied to Alexis about him being away on a trip. I let her talk to him on the phone, but when Luke and I talked, it was a lot of yelling. It was easier for me to be angry with him than to let myself feel the way I felt underneath."

"And how did you feel underneath?"

"Hurt, betrayed. I had thought that we had a great marriage and then I looked back on it and wondered if it had ever been real. A few days before I asked him to come home, we started talking instead of just yelling, and I did tell him some of what I felt. But we still hid things from one another."

"When did you realize you were pregnant?"

"It was a few weeks after Luke returned home. I was scared to death. I hadn't had a period since I was with Paul. It felt horrible to think that we had started to get past everything and then I had screwed it all up again by having unprotected sex with Paul."

"Did you tell Luke as soon as you came to the realization that your child may be Paul's?"

"Um, no. I had made the decision not to tell him. Paul has light blonde hair and blue eyes too and I convinced myself that besides the fact that there was a greater chance that the baby was Luke's anyway since I'd been with him more than once and it was also unprotected, that my coloring was similar enough to Paul's that no one would ever suspect that the child was someone else's even if it was born with lighter coloring than Luke's."

"At that time, did you plan on telling Paul even if you hadn't planned on telling Luke?"

"No. That night, he came into the store and told me that he had gone home to Sierra and that they were leaving town. He told me that he loved her and wanted their marriage to work. So in my head, I justified my decision not to tell Luke doubly by the fact that letting my secret out could ruin two marriages and complicate the lives of three innocent children. But after a while, I couldn't live with the guilt anymore. It was hard for me to look Luke in the eye and I was so afraid that my stress was going to hurt the baby."

"Luke, how did you feel when your wife told you that the child she carried may not be yours?"

"When she first told me she'd slept with Paul I think that she was a little freaked out that I took it so casually. It wasn't casual and two wrongs don't make a right, but what can you really say when your wife tells you that she had sex with someone else once when you were technically separated, when you had messed around a bunch of times yourself? I couldn't logically jump down her throat for having a one-night stand. It bugged me a little that it was with Paul. It didn't make sense to me in any way shape or form since a lot of Paul's problems with Sierra had been sexual, but when it dawned on me that Kimber was telling me the baby might not be mine, I felt like I'd been hit by a freight train. That made it all so different."

"So you believe that if there wasn't a chance that your wife's child was another man's that your marriage would have continued with no problems?"

"Well, I'm guessing that maybe we would have or at least should have thought about therapy, but I think that it would have been a lot easier to get past it if there wasn't a chance the baby is Paul's."

"But you two are living together as man and wife again, is that right?"

"Yes. It was hard for me to be away from Kimber. I love her so much and I never wanted our marriage to turn out like this. But I also knew that the baby was more important than me whether or not he's mine. So I couldn't go home until I was sure that I could be the kind of man that could raise another man's child and treat the child like I treat my daughter, love the child like I love my daughter."

"Kimber, how do you feel about the fact that you may carry a child that belongs to a man other than your husband, about raising that child with or without Luke?"

"I have a feeling not only that the baby is a boy, but that he is Luke's, but of course that's what I've been hoping and praying for since I found out I was pregnant and realized that I hadn't had my cycle since I was with Paul. It's going to be easier all around if the baby is Luke's. But if he's not I'll deal with it. No, I don't mean deal with it. I'll love my child regardless, but everything will be so much less complicated if the child is Luke's. We have come to the agreement that Paul will be part of the child's life if he chooses. We'll get a DNA test and set up visitation and all that."

"How does the thought of paternity tests and visitation make you feel Kimber?"

"Kinda panicky. I wouldn't blame Luke if he hadn't been able to come home to me after I told him. We did also come to the agreement if the child is Paul's and there ever comes a time when Luke believes he can't be my husband anymore and raise a child that's not his that he will walk away. Thinking about that hurts, but I know it's the right thing to do. The baby didn't ask to be born into this situation."

"Uh huh. Luke, do you feel comfortable talking with Kimber about any reservations you might have about raising a child that's not yours?"

"Mostly. I try to think of it like being a stepparent and that idea never bothered me before. I like to think that if Kimber had had a child when I'd met her that I could have been a good stepdad. It feels different since we were married when it happened, but if I believed that I couldn't do the right thing where the child is concerned I would be strong enough to walk away."

"What do you feel is the 'right thing' Luke?"

"Um, to me it always seemed like a guy shouldn't marry a woman that had children with another man if he couldn't treat them the way he'd treat his own kids. Yeah, they already have a father, but if you can't deal with the fact that a woman has kids with someone besides you, you should stay away from her. Even though we're the adults, sometimes we don't always act the way that we should where our children are concerned, men or women."

"Uh huh." The therapist glanced at her watch. "We should wrap up. Is there anything that you feel like you need to add before our next appointment Kimber?"

"I don't think so."

"Good. How about you Luke?"

"Nope. Thank you."

"Of course. I will see you next week then. Same time as long as that works for you."

Kimber nodded. "Yes."

She felt a little overwhelmed as she followed Luke out of the office. She wasn't sure that their session had gone as well as she'd hoped it would, that she'd been able to communicate what she'd needed to communicate. She was feeling a little angry over some of what he had said too.

Luke squeezed her hand. "That went well, don't you think?"

"Uh yeah. We'll talk about it later."

"Okay."

He took her hand and led her out to retrieve their daughter, seemingly oblivious to her tension.

Luke

Luke felt good about the therapy session. He felt comfortable talking to the kind therapist and thought that she would help him and Kimber work through their problems and make their marriage stronger.

Alexis was talking with the grandmotherly receptionist when they returned to the waiting room. He held out his hand to his beloved daughter. "Time to go home sweetheart."

"I colored this for you Daddy. And this one is for Mommy and the baby in her belly."

Luke accepted the offered paper and handed the other to Kimber. Kimber thanked their daughter but he thought that her smile looked forced and he wondered what was bothering her. She seemed tense lately, but he'd thought that the family counseling would help them.

They drove back to their house. He played a game with Alexis while Kimber lay down for a nap. He made them dinner. They ate without speaking much to each other since Alexis kept a steady stream of chatter like usual. He helped Alexis with her bath and then Kimber read her the chosen bedtime story. When Kimber returned to their bedroom he put his arms around her.

"Babe what's wrong?"

"You seemed thrilled with the way the therapy session went. I wasn't."

"Why not?"

"Well, some of what you said bugged me. Even though you say that you know your affair was wrong and that you don't justify it, it kind of seems like you do."

Luke sighed. "Kimber, I know that what I did with Sierra was wrong. But it's a lot easier for me to think of me making love to a woman that I love than to think of you having hot, sweaty sex with Paul when he seems to be a less than enthusiastic lover, at least with his own wife."

"So it's better that you 'made love' to Sierra than that I had sex with Paul. It seems to me that it's the same difference. If I wasn't pregnant, what I did would seem to be a lot more acceptable than what you did. We were not separated in any form when you were with Sierra and I was with Paul once and not multiple times over a span of months. You know what has always bugged me even more than the fact that you might never had told me about her?"

"What?" Luke suddenly wanted a cigarette.

"The fact that I would never have suspected you of cheating. Oh, when we first got together I watched you when we went out together to see if you were giving other women more than a second look. When we moved in together, I read up on the warning signs of cheating men. Not that I didn't already know some of them from personal experience, but there are some things that aren't quite as obvious. When you find lipstick on your man's collar and you don't wear lipstick or panties in his car that are three sizes too small to be yours, you think damn he's screwing around. When he acts secretive you might think he's screwing around. But with a guy like you, if you're being secretive or distant, it might be because you're stressed about your songwriting or you want to do something special for me and want it to be a surprise. But you did not raise one red flag with me. Our sex life was as good as it always had been, I never caught even a trace of her scent on you or your clothes, and you weren't home any less than you ever had been. I guess it was convenient that you still had your house and could sleep with her while Alexis was at school."

"Babe I thought we got past all of that when you decided to let me come home. It doesn't feel wonderful to know that you might be pregnant with another man's child either, but if we agonize over every little detail, we might as well throw in the towel and get a divorce now. Let me give you a massage."

Kimber sighed. "I'm sorry Luke. It just feels strange to tell a stranger all of the personal details of our lives together."

"Babe, that's the point of therapy. They listen and they give you advice when you need it. Talking is supposed to help you feel better. We can't keep everything bottled up inside and keep lying."

"I know. I'll probably feel better about it next time. She seems really good with Alexis, even though Alexis had no clue what we were doing there."

"You expected that anyway. She's young. And by the time she's old enough to understand we should feel more comfortable explaining all of this to her."

"Yeah. I have a feeling she's going to look at us and say, why are you telling me this?"

"She might. But it's better that we're honest with her than that she hears it by chance from some gossip."

"Definitely. I would appreciate a massage."

Luke helped Kimber off with her clothes. He gave her a full body massage and then they made love. He hoped that she felt better about their therapy session and that she felt a little better all around, because he hated to see her stressed. He knew she was worried about how it might affect the baby.

Sierra

Sierra sighed when she glanced at the screen of her cell phone and saw that it was Paul. She wasn't in the mood to talk to him and hear some mundane question about Nathan that he already knew the answer to. She felt bad for being annoyed by his phone calls, but it hurt to hear his voice sometimes and it definitely hurt to see him, especially after they had made love. It also bugged her that she had a feeling he was trying to sweet talk his way through the wall that she had tried to build around her heart when she had learned of his betrayal.

She picked up her phone. "What?"

"Hello to you too Sierra. It's nice to know that you enjoy hearing from me. I have a question for you."

"You always have a question for me Paul. And they usually have a pretty damned obvious answer. I miss you too, but you're not helping your case by bugging the crap out of me. Or by bringing me flowers or offering to cook me dinner or hire a housekeeper or any other sweet thing that you're trying to do."

"Sierra."

"Don't Paul. Ask me your question so that I can finish my glass of wine, take my bath and go to bed."

"There are two kinds of diapers in the diaper bag. Does it matter which kind I use?"

"You seriously called to ask such a ridiculous question? If you want me to get to the nitty gritty details, we ran out of one brand and I decided to try a cheaper brand. He's never had any kind of a reaction to a diaper and he's hardly had even a little diaper rash, so I figured the brand that was a step below the brand I usually buy in price would be fine. He hasn't had any problems with them. Are you satisfied? Was my answer detailed enough for you?"

"Sometimes I wonder if you hate me Sierra."

"I don't hate you Paul. I'm sorry that I'm such a bitch. I'm worried about spending too much money, I'm worried about you not having enough time with Nathan, and I miss you. Oh, and I'm horny all the time. Well, obviously not all the time because I have an infant to care for and he pretty much takes all of my attention while he's awake. When he's asleep though, there goes my sex drive."

"I could take care of that for you. No strings attached."

"Shut the hell up Paul. You can't have no strings attached sex with me. It blows my mind to think that you had a casual encounter with Kimber. You are not a casual sex kind of a guy."

"I know. But I could. . ."

"No. When my sexual frustration level rises too high, I have a vibrator. That really is no strings attached."

"Sierra."

"Stop. Do you need anything else?"

"You don't have to buy cheap diapers. We are fine on money. I promise."

"They're not the dirt cheap generic kind. And if they bothered him, I'd go back to buying the expensive brand. I'm not neglecting our son to save money."

"Honey, I know that. You're defensive."

Sierra sighed. "I'm sorry. This is so hard Paul. I'm trying not to be a bitch to you, but it's hard when you bug me about ridiculous things."

"It didn't seem ridiculous to me. I'll let you go. I love you Sierra."

"I love you too. But don't call me again tonight unless it's absolutely necessary. I have an appointment with Mr. Big."

"Mr. Big?"

Sierra laughed. "I named my vibrator. Goodbye Paul. Give Nathan a kiss for me."

"Okay. I will. Bye Sierra."

Sierra hung up her phone. She shook her head at Paul's silly question, but felt a little less depressed having talked to him. She took her glass of wine upstairs with her, took a hot bath and then went to bed.

Paul

Paul felt a little strange to hear Sierra say that she had an appointment with her vibrator. But it wasn't as if he hadn't been doing plenty self-pleasuring of his own since he had been without her. Since he'd had only two sexual partners in his life, he was very familiar with the concept of bringing himself to orgasm, but it didn't mean that he enjoyed it or at least not in the sense that he would much rather be pleasuring his wife and having her pleasure him.

It was especially hard after they made love, but the clock was ticking and the days were getting closer and closer to Kimber's due date. He felt much more anxious about this birth than he had felt about the birth of his son and he had been plenty anxious when Sierra had given birth. He'd hated to see her in pain and worried that they would be terrible parents. Well, if he wanted to be completely honest with himself, he had always known that Sierra would be a wonderful mother, but he'd been scared to death that he would be a terrible father.

She used dirty language more often than he liked, she was impulsive and often quick to anger, but she had endless patience when it came to their son and so many of the things that he had struggled so hard with like holding the baby correctly or changing a diaper, or making sure he always burped, seemed to come naturally to Sierra. He was more than a little envious, but he knew that his bond with Nathan was strong too.

He was still worried that he wouldn't feel the same bond with Kimber's child if it were his, but they worked out more details as time went on. He had agreed to let Kimber and Luke name the child, since they had reconciled. It made him sad that Luke could stand by Kimber when he might not be the father of her child and Sierra was still adamant that she couldn't stand by him, but he knew that he couldn't push her.

He hoped that the baby was Luke's. He'd always hoped that the baby was Luke's, but it was so hard to look at Sierra and think that he would lose her forever if the DNA test named him as the father of Kimber's child. He felt guilty for wishing with all his might that he wasn't going to be a father again, but it seemed so wrong for him to be the father of Kimber's child. He knew that no matter how much he loved the child, they would all be better off if Luke was the father.

Sierra

Sierra was tempted to mark the days until Kimber's due date off on her calendar. Paul had told her that Luke and Kimber were living together again and that Luke was going to stand by his wife no matter who the father of the baby was. She knew that it hurt Paul to tell her because he hoped that she would feel the same way, but her feelings in regards to being his wife if he'd fathered Kimber's baby did not change as the days passed.

She missed him more and more every day and their bed felt so empty sometimes that she let Nathan sleep with her. She knew that it would bug the crap out of Paul since he seemed dead set against co sleeping but she saw no harm in it. Nathan slept peacefully and never rolled off or tried to crawl off of the bed. She woke up when he moved more than a little anyway. She figured that that particular habit really was better left unsaid and she only did it on rare occasions, on nights when she was especially lonely.

She felt like a weirdo but she had convinced Paul to tell her the name of his new cologne and she'd put some on his pillow so that she could smell it and pretend that he still slept beside her. It was depressing and made her feel like she was truly pathetic but it was a strange comfort. She hated to think of what she'd do if they divorced though. The thought of being with another man even with as much as she liked sex sounded even worse to her than putting Paul's cologne on the pillow that he no longer slept on.

Sierra was honest with herself. She knew that she couldn't be Paul's wife if he was the father of Kimber's child. But she also knew that there was no other man that she wanted the way she wanted Paul and she was afraid there never would be again.

Luke

Luke was glad to be home. He still had reservations now and then that he couldn't be the man that Kimber needed him to be if the baby was Paul's, but he talked about those reservations in therapy and it helped. He knew that he hurt her sometimes with his honesty, but he couldn't take lies anymore and he knew deep down that the lies hurt her even more.

Their therapy sessions went well and even Alexis started to look forward to them. She loved Arliss and had adopted the woman as a surrogate grandmother.

Kimber's pregnancy progressed well and the days ticked down towards her due date. She was bigger than she had been when she was pregnant with Alexis, though she had lost her pregnancy weight quickly after the birth of their daughter. Their sexual positions got interesting as the days went by, but it was still worth it to Luke to please her and she still turned him on.

Her back ached so he gave her many massages. She took a lot of naps, but she seemed to be in much better spirits and the doctor assured them that everything was going well. Alexis was thrilled to have her daddy back home. Luke loved his daughter so much and even more so because she was Kimber's child that he thought he would naturally love her child whether it was his or not.

Kimber

Kimber was lying down and trying to take a nap when the first contraction hit. Her labor with Alexis had been relatively short, and she was still a couple weeks from her due date, so she got out of bed immediately. She used the restroom and washed her hands. She placed her hand over her belly.

"You think it's time to meet the world kiddo? Mama is hoping that your daddy is the only daddy there should have ever been a chance of it being, but she promises to love you either way okay?"

Tears pricked her eyes as she thought of the pain it would cause Luke if her son wasn't his. Another contraction hit her and she hurried to the stairs, or hurried as much as she could in her current very pregnant condition.

Luke looked up at her. "I thought you were taking a nap babe."

"I'm in labor."

"Oh. Well, Alexis is with Juliana already so she can stay since that's where we were going to be taking her anyway. I'll call her and let her know and then I'll get your bag and we're outta here."

He jumped up and helped her the rest of the way down the stairs and led her to the couch. He placed a brief phone call to Juliana and then retrieved her bag from their bedroom closet. Another contraction hit her by the time he made it down the stairs. She was beginning to think that this labor was going to be short but intense.

Luke gave her a brief careful embrace and a quick kiss, and then he helped her up from the couch. He looked happy and she tried to put the fact that the baby might not be his out of her mind yet again.

They took her car since his mustang was definitely not as easy for her to get in and out of. The drive to the hospital was blessedly short and they had her back in a delivery room shortly after they arrived at the hospital.

Labor was short. She dilated so quickly that they weren't able to administer an epidural which she sometimes believed had been the only thing that had gotten her through the last part of her labor with Alexis with her sanity intact.

Halden Elijah was delivered at 4:54 p.m. on July 15. He weighed 7 pounds five ounces and was 20 inches long. Kimber thought he was beautiful from across the room and knew that he would be beautiful to her no matter who his father was, but she wanted to look into her son's eyes.

The nurse finished the after birth activities, diapered and dressed Halden, wrapped him snugly in a receiving blanket and handed him to Luke.

Kimber watched her husband's face closely as he studied the child. He held him for several minutes and then dropped a gentle kiss on Halden's forehead.

Tears stood in Luke's eyes when he handed the baby to her. Kimber looked upon her son and saw his father's eyes looking out at her. And those eyes were Luke's eyes. She swallowed the lump that rose in her throat and kissed her son's head.

"Mama loves you baby." He let out a whimper and she moved her hospital gown so that she could bring him to her breast. Once he had latched on, she smiled. "Better now huh baby boy?"

Luke glanced at the nurse that was fiddling with the bassinet and leaned over and whispered into her ear. "I think that our lives might just have gotten a lot easier. I love you Kimber."

She smiled. "I love you too Luke. But I guess we should still wait for the confirmation from the test for everyone's peace of mind huh?"

Luke sighed and raised his voice a little when the nurse had left the room. "Yeah. Do you think that we should tell Paul now or wait? It's not like if the baby had blue eyes it would have meant that he was Paul's since you have blue eyes too, but those are my eyes, just like Alexis."

"Um, I guess it can wait a few days, especially since he was early. Or you can call him if you want."

Luke laughed. "Paul doesn't like me much. I don't try to hide the fact that I don't care for the way he treats Sierra."

"I'm sure he treats Sierra just fine. Other than the fact that their sex life hasn't always been the greatest. But I don't want to argue with you about this. I know you love her, and I've accepted that fact. It doesn't mean that I want to hear you tell me how wonderful she is though. There's only so much a woman can take."

"I'm sorry babe. I know I should have been honest with you before we got married, but it didn't seem like the right thing to bring up. Things moved so fast between us. We had our first date, and then we made love on our second date. Before we knew it, we were saying I love you, and then we were married and having Alexis. I promise you that I will not keep anything from you again and that there are no other lost loves in my past. And there is no woman in the world that I would rather be with than you. But I don't think we can stand another affair from either end."

Kimber offered him a tired smile. "I don't think we'll have to worry about that or at least I hope not. You have always been an incredible lover and I've always felt comfortable talking to you about what did and didn't feel good in the bedroom. I know that I'm not one of those model thin girls, but I've never felt like you weren't attracted to me because I had some extra meat on my bones."

"Darlin' your curves drive me out of my mind. Your body is divine. When the doctor clears everything after your checkup, the kids are going to stay with grandma and grandpa for the night, hell even for a whole weekend, because we have a lot of love to make."

Kimber smiled. "That's my man."

She gently moved her pinky between Halden's mouth and her breast so he would relax his grip and then moved him to her shoulder to burp him. Once he had burped she positioned him on her other breast since his mouth was still searching.

"Watching you nurse is like looking at the picture of what a mother should look like."

Kimber shook her head at him. "You're silly."

"I'm not. You have endless patience, and the bond you have with our kids is something that will never be broken. I'm jealous sometimes."

Kimber laughed. "Babe, I was so jealous when I was working full time at the store and you were taking care of Alexis full time. She is a Daddy's girl, through and through. It broke her heart when I made you leave. It was easier for her this time because she got to see you, but it still hurt her. I don't think that she could take really being away from you Luke."

Luke squeezed her hand. "The thought of being without the three of you makes me sick to my stomach babe. We had such a strong marriage and then I screwed everything up. When you told me that the baby could be Paul's it was like I woke up in the middle of my worst nightmare. And looking at our son in your arms, it brings that back. It sucks, but it's probably going to for a while." He gave her a crooked grin. "Promise me that if we have another child, there will never be any question of who the father is."

Kimber gave him a mock dirty look. "Luke."

He kissed her. "Sorry baby. You're the one that married me."

"Ha ha. I'm glad I married you. I thought marriage was the worst mistake a person could make until I met you. I have been so happy with you. I just want things to go back to the way they were before. I know that they never really can, but I know that you don't have to worry about me cheating ever again. You are gorgeous, you're smart, and you're talented. You're a wonderful husband and a fantastic father. I could never find another man like you even if I wanted to."

Luke grinned. "I am pretty awesome aren't I?" Kimber rolled her eyes. "Kidding baby. I'll sing your praises all day long if you want me to. If you ever forget how much I adore you, just ask me okay?"

Kimber smiled. Halden was asleep so she detached him from her breast and handed him to Luke. Luke placed him gently in the bassinet. "I will be so glad when we can get out of here. I hate hospitals."

"I know. I remember when you cut your finger so bad that it needed stitches and you didn't want to go to the hospital."

Luke grinned. "Yep. I'll be right back babe. I'm gonna get a coffee. Do you want anything?"

Kimber yawned. "Some sleep. Labor is exhausting."

"You can sleep all you want honey. I'll wake you up if they need you for something or if the little man gets hungry."

"You are so good to me."

"It's one of my many talents." He kissed her forehead. "Try to get some sleep babe. Though I know it isn't easy with all of the noise around here."

Kimber closed her eyes. "I love you Luke."

"I love you Kimber."

She heard his footsteps retreat out of the room.

The rest of her time in the hospital seemed to drag even though it was only two days. Halden was doing great and he was taking right to her breast and seemed to be eating plenty. Luke helped her get dressed since she was still sore and then packed everything up and put Halden in the car seat.

They left the hospital with Luke carrying the car seat. It reminded her so much of when Alexis had been born. She was positive that the DNA test would prove that Halden belonged to Luke. She'd been terrified that even if he stayed with her if the baby was Paul's that he wouldn't love the baby the way he loved Alexis. But he seemed like the devoted father that he had always been and for that Kimber was thankful.

Luke

When Luke looked at Halden and saw his eyes looking out at him from the baby's tiny face, he wanted to cry. When he told Kimber he was getting a coffee, he did get a coffee but first he made a stop in the men's restroom, locked himself in a stall and cried a little.

If the baby had had blue eyes, they wouldn't have known for sure that they came from Paul with Kimber's blue eyes, but the fact that Halden's eyes were hazel gave Luke even more hope that what he had hoped and prayed and wished for had indeed been true all along. His son was his son by blood.

That fact was further accentuated by the fact that Halden had dark blonde hair, something that neither Kimber nor Paul had either. Luke knew that he couldn't be 100% positive that Halden was his biological son without a DNA test, but the baby's coloring and the fact that both Kimber and Paul had inherited their blue eyes and light blonde hair from both of their parents which was something that Paul had explained to Kimber a few weeks before, further seemed to point to Luke as the baby's father.

He felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of his shoulders. He was very much looking forward to when his wife and son would be released from the hospital.

Time passed quickly and Halden was doing well. When they were released Luke carried the car seat like he thought a good proud Daddy should, feeling a little like he was walking on air. He knew Kimber was sore and wouldn't have made her carry the car seat even if he had looked at the baby's face and seen the picture of Paul and instantly known that he couldn't love the child the way he loved his daughter either though, because that was not the kind of man that he was.

They stopped to pick Alexis up from Juliana and Bunny's house. Julian's vivacious redheaded little girl answered the door.

"Hi."

Luke smiled at her. "Hi Bunny. Where's your mommy and Alexis?"

Juliana appeared with his daughter in tow. "Bunny, I told you not to open the door."

"But I can reach Mommy."

Juliana shook her head. "That doesn't mean that you need to open the door sweetheart."

"But it's not a stranger. It's Alexis's Dad."

"I can see that honey." Juliana gave her daughter an indulgent smile, and then handed Luke Alexis's bag. "I washed her clothes. What she's wearing now belongs to Bunny. You can return it whenever you get a chance. She has so many clothes I think I'm going to donate half of them to children that actually need them."

Luke chuckled. "Thank you. Kimber is half asleep and the baby is asleep so they stayed in the car. Do you want to take a peek?"

"Of course."

Juliana took Bunny's hand. Alexis put her hand in her father's and they walked to the car together.

Kimber opened her door and smiled at Juliana. "Thank you so much."

"Alexis is an angel. She's welcome anytime." Juliana peeked across the seat at Halden. "He is so beautiful. Another one that looks like Daddy. Does he have Luke's eyes too?"

Luke stepped in because he could see his wife felt a little uncomfortable with the question. "He does." He squeezed Kimber's hand. "Third time's gotta be the charm babe. If we have another one, they'll be the picture of you." He winked at her.

Kimber laughed, though to Luke's ears it sounded a little strained. "I hope so."

Alexis climbed onto the seat beside her mother and looked at her baby brother. "He's so pretty."

Luke chuckled. "Boys aren't pretty."

Alexis gave her father a child's look of disgust. "He's my baby brother and he's pretty."

"Okay sweetheart. He's pretty." He turned back to Juliana. "Thank you so much. If you ever want us to take Bunny, we will. You have been a huge help."

Juliana smiled. "Maybe a few months down the road. My daughter isn't quite the angel that yours is."

"Oh, ours isn't always an angel either. I guess we'd better get home. Thank you again Juliana. Bye Bunny."

Bunny waved, and tugged at her mother's arm, not interested in looking at the baby since she was an only child. Juliana and her husband had had trouble conceiving after she'd had Bunny. "Bye. C'mon Mom."

Juliana smiled. "Yes honey. Take care Kimber. Congratulations."

Kimber offered her friend a tired smile. "Thank you. Bye Bunny."

"Bye. Bye Alexis. Bye baby."

Juliana took one last look at Halden, and then took Bunny's hand and walked back to the house.

Luke strapped Alexis into her car seat. "Ready to go home princess?"

"I'm not a princess Daddy."

"Yes sweetheart. Let's go home. Mommy needs a nap."

Luke checked to make sure the straps were secure on both his daughter and son's car seats and then shut the door quietly. He got behind the wheel of the car and drove them home. Home had never looked quite so good.

He let Kimber rest and even talked Alexis into taking a nap. When Kimber woke up, and had changed and fed Halden, she said that she was going to call Paul so he handed her her cell phone, brushed a kiss against his sleeping son's forehead and went to retrieve Alexis so that she could help him fix dinner, or so that he could fix dinner while he let her pretend to help.

Paul

Paul looked at the screen of his cell phone and hid a sigh. He'd hoped that it was Sierra calling him. Of course he always hoped that it was her that was calling him, but it had been even more so since they had made love. It was Kimber.

"Hello."

"Hi Paul. It's Kimber. I had the baby and there is good news, but we're not trying to read too much into it."

"Okay."

"He has Luke's eyes and darker hair. We wouldn't really have known for sure even if he did have blue eyes since I have them too, but he has Luke's eyes just like our daughter does."

Paul breathed a sigh of relief. "That's great. I guess we still want to do the DNA test just to make sure though huh?"

"Yeah. It's probably for the best. We looked into it and figured that it would probably be easiest if you gave your sample up there and had them send it to the lab down here and then you can come down and hear the results in person if you want to. If Halden is your son, I would think that you'd want to see him."

"Of course. It shouldn't be too big of a deal. I looked into it some too. There hasn't been much else on my mind since Luke told me."

"Yeah, there hasn't been a lot else on any of our minds since then I don't think. It will be a relief to know one way or the other. How's your son? He had a birthday didn't he?"

"He did. He is huge. He's walking and the time has just passed so quickly. Of course you know-you have a daughter. Is she four, five?"

"She's four but she'll be five before we know it and then a damned teenager before we know it."

"Yeah. Scary thought. How's the baby? You said his name is Halden?"

"He was a little early, but he was 7 pounds and 5 ounces so I hate to think of how big he would have been if he would have been born on my due date. He's doing very well, took right to the breast and always seems to be hungry."

"It's good that you decided to nurse. Sierra didn't nurse Nathan long, but she planned to go back to work right away."

"How does she like staying home with your son? I know that I've loved being able to spend more time with Alexis."

"She loves it more than she wants to admit."

"Yeah. Um, the baby's name right now is Halden Elijah Stone. I know that you said we could name him whatever we wanted and that it didn't bother you if he had Luke's last name, but if he's yours, I want you to know that Luke is okay with him having your last name. He's the one that brought it up."

"I'm still okay with him having Luke's last name. Halden Elijah is a nice name. I'm still at work so I should probably let you go. It shouldn't be a problem to start my vacation as soon as the results are in. I already talked to my boss about taking the time off, so once it's all said and done, it shouldn't be more than a week at the latest before we'll be able to get everything worked out and be down there."

"Okay. Thanks Paul. Take care."

"You too. Bye Kimber."

"Bye Paul."

Paul hung up the phone. He wanted to call Sierra immediately, but he was supposed to be working and he thought that he probably shouldn't have taken as long to talk to Kimber as he had.

The first thing he did after his work day was over was call Sierra though.

She picked up on the third ring and gave him a distracted "Hello."

"Baby, I have great news."

"Oh yeah?"

He thought that she sounded less than thrilled. "Honey what's wrong?"

"Nathan has an ear infection and he's miserable."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Sierra let out a frustrated sigh. "We just got back from the doctor a little while ago. It's not like I wasn't going to tell you. What's your news?"

"Kimber had the baby. He has Luke's eyes and darker hair."

"That's great. I guess you're still going to take the test though, just to make sure?"

"Yeah. You're still going with me to hear the results aren't you? When can I come home?"

"Paul, no. It's wonderful that the baby is most likely Luke's. You had sex with her once and he's her husband and likes sex so he probably did it with her way more often before she got pregnant, so we always knew that there was a better chance that the baby was Luke's anyway. But just because Kimber had the baby and we have even more reason to think that he's not yours doesn't mean that you can come home. I'm not going to get my hopes up and then have them come crashing down around my ears if the baby is yours."

"Sierra."

"Don't Sierra me. Our son is miserable and I can't do anything to make him feel any better. He's asleep now, but he's probably going to wake up crying before I know it because he's in pain. The medicine is helping some, but he's still miserable. I want my little man to feel better."

"I know baby. You are such a wonderful mother."

"And you're a good father Paul. Much better than you give yourself credit for. I can't stand to have my heart broken again. I've told you that I can't be your wife if the baby is yours. And I still feel that way. It is going to hurt like hell if I have to walk away from you for good, but it's all I can do. It's the only way that I feel like I can handle the situation and feel okay with it. I know it sucks. This is definitely not the way I wanted our marriage to go, but we can't turn back time. If the baby is Luke's you can come home. We can start counseling and we can have lots of sex. We are going to have lots of sex, because I never want to feel like I'm not attractive to you again and I never want to feel like you're neglecting me either. If I ever think for even a minute about wanting to go find Luke because you're not making enough love to me, I will divorce you."

"That puts my mind at ease Sierra."

"Luke is the only man that I would ever think about cheating on you with. You are the man that I was meant to be with. I love Luke, I find him attractive, and I'm not going to lie to you and say that my body wouldn't enjoy it if we made love. But I'm no longer in love with Luke. I am in love with you. You're a pain in my ass sometimes and sometimes I still worry that you'd like me to be a little more Susie homemaker than I'm ever gonna be, but you're my man. I would love to be able to say that you'll always be my man. But I can't lie to you. We've both lied enough. So no Paul, you can't come home until I hear with my own ears that Kimber's baby is not yours."

Paul sighed. "I knew as soon as we moved in together that you were never going to be Susie homemaker Sierra. You're doing great with Nathan and the house always looks nice. You still can't cook but I don't care because I can. I'm sorry that I'm a pain in the ass sometimes. I find you so desirable. It still scares the crap out of me. I get an erection so often when I'm around you that I feel like a walking hard on."

"You're a man Paul. You shouldn't be embarrassed by your sexuality. It's okay for you to put a move on me. Or it will be if this all works out and you come home. I don't think I would be strong enough to stay away from you if we had sex again before all of this is over and done with. And even if you think you can take us being together and then breaking up again, I can't. I need you to understand and respect that."

"But I get nervous sometimes that you don't want to have sex."

Sierra sighed. "Paul, I enjoy sex. If I'm not in the mood, chances are pretty good you can get me in the mood. If I'm really not in the mood, I'll tell you. I'm not shy about that either. Sometimes I wonder if you realize that you married me and not some shy girl with a low sex drive."

"I'm sorry."

"Quit being sorry okay? Just fix it. When all of this DNA test bullshit is done and over with and we know for a fact that Luke is the father of Kimber's baby, we are going to leave Nathan with your parents or my mother and Timothy and spend three days straight exploring our sexuality together. You're taking your whole vacation when it's time to hear the results aren't you?"

"Yes. Making love to you for three days straight sounds wonderful."

"Yeah. How do you think I feel? I need to let you go Paul. It looks like Nathan is going to wake up."

"Do you want me to take him?"

"Just come and get him tomorrow like you planned. I'll talk to you later. Thanks for letting me know about the baby."

"You're welcome. Bye Sierra. I love you. Call me if you need anything."

"I will. I love you Paul. Bye."

Paul hung up his phone and sat down on the edge to the bed. He felt tears prick his eyes. He'd thought that Sierra would be overjoyed with the news and that he could go home. Now he knew he would be counting down the days until the DNA test results were back even more than he'd thought he would before.

He got up and grabbed a beer from his fridge. He popped the top and took a drink, not looking forward to another long empty night without his wife and son.

Kimber

It broke Kimber's heart when they had to draw Halden's blood for the paternity test. She hated to think that she put her son through even a few minutes of unnecessary pain because she had been too bent on revenge and too horny to think about using a condom when she'd had sex with Paul.

But luckily it was over quickly and he quieted when she held him to her and was soon asleep after he had had his fill of her milk. Luke had a funny expression on his face when he walked out from giving his blood and she felt dread in her heart.

"Are you okay Luke?"

"Yeah. Let's get out of here. Anything remotely resembling a doctor's office or a hospital turns my stomach."

Kimber let out a relieved laugh. "Okay."

She put Halden in his car seat and they went to the car and returned home after retrieving Alexis from Bunny's house.

Even though things were good in her house, that they had gone back to being the happily married couple they'd always been before the indiscretions had started and Luke was a wonderful father to both Alexis and Halden, Kimber knew that she would feel on edge until the results of the DNA test were in.

Paul

Paul felt strange having his blood drawn for a paternity test. He had been screwed around on in high school, and had not liked the feeling at all, especially when he'd ended up with an STD in the process, so he'd never imagined having to take a DNA test to determine if he was the father of a child. Paul was not the kind man to have to take a DNA test, or at least he'd never imagined himself to be.

But he had certainly screwed up where his tryst with Kimber was concerned. He didn't think that he would truly be able to forgive himself for the pain that he had put his wife through until she had forgiven him. He knew that she wanted to and sometimes thought that she missed him as much as he missed her, but he knew that Sierra was going to stand her ground and not let him come home until the test proved that he was not Halden's father. Paul didn't blame Sierra, but it didn't mean that it made the time without his wife and son hurt any less.

The days seemed endless to him as he waited for Kimber's phone call to say that the results were in. Nathan was growing so quickly that Paul felt like he had missed half of his son's life. He knew that he might have felt that way even if he were still living with his family since he worked so much, but it hurt to think that his indiscretion meant that he missed even more of seeing his son grow.

Sierra certainly wasn't stingy when it came to visitation. She let him take their son overnight or for a few hours every time he asked her. He took Nathan as much as possible because he knew his wife worked hard and needed a break. He knew that Sierra had tried to spend less money since he'd been living apart from them too. It wasn't as if she had ever spent excessive money, but he knew that she was budgeting even tighter while still making sure that Nathan had everything he needed and he loved her even more for it.

Sierra

Sierra felt a little like she wanted to crawl out of her skin as the days passed between the time Paul submitted his blood for the paternity test and when the results were in. Every time she saw Paul she saw more hope on his face and it broke her heart a little.

She missed him so much. She missed the way he smelled and the feel of his arms around her. She missed the sound of his laughter because he could be so serious and it always sounded so beautiful. She missed watching him care for their son, because he was such a wonderful father once he had let go of his insecurities over doing something wrong or not being a perfect father.

Her heart was filled with hope too, but she tried not to let herself feel it too much. She'd always known that even if her husband had been dumb enough to have unprotected sex with Kimber around the time she got pregnant, that Luke was much more likely to be the baby's father. It had made her heart soar when Paul had told her that the baby had Luke's eyes but she hadn't been able to let him know because she didn't think she could take it if their hopes were brought down even further on the unlikely chance that Halden belonged to her husband.

So she tried not to think about it too much, though it was always there at the back of her mind. She put herself fully into taking care of the house that had always seemed too big to her but seemed even bigger without Paul to share it with her. She marveled over her son. She made casual inquiries about teaching jobs, because she wanted to go back to work. She loved caring for her son, but she felt a calling to teach the children of others.

Still the days passed slowly as she waited for the call. She had fought with herself over going with Paul to hear the results, but she had come to the decision that she wanted to be with him. She wasn't sure she could have taken the waiting anyway, and the part of her that was filled with the hope of getting her marriage back on track wanted to see his face when the announcement was made that the baby was Luke's. Her hormones wanted to be with him so that they could make love soon after too.

Kimber

Kimber hung up the phone. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She was almost 100% positive that Halden belonged to Luke anyway, but she knew that the results of the DNA test confirming it would make them all feel so much better. The results were in.

She looked at Luke who was playing a game in the living room with Alexis. "They're in. I guess I need to call Paul."

Luke looked up at her. "Yeah. How long do you think it will take them to get everything together and come down here? They live a little way away don't they?"

"Yeah. Eighteen hours or something like that. Do you think Sierra will want to come with him?"

Luke shrugged. "I would think so. We'll leave the kids with Mom and Dad when we go in. Or we can leave them with your Mom I guess."

"Your parents are fine. I'll have to make sure to pump plenty of milk for him."

Kimber went into the living room. Halden was asleep in the bassinet. She brushed a kiss against his forehead. She moved to her daughter. "I'll be right back baby girl. Then maybe I can play with you and Daddy huh?"

"Where are you going Mom?"

"Mommy needs to make a phone call."

"Oh. Okay."

Alexis turned back to the game board in front of her. She concentrated so hard. The look on her face reminded Kimber of Luke.

Luke squeezed her hand. "It's gonna be good news babe. I can feel it."

"I hope so. Do you think we should take Paul and Sierra out to lunch afterwards? I mean, we'll definitely need to talk if the results don't turn out the way we all hope they will, but I thought it might be nice either way."

"Sounds good to me."

"Daddy it's your turn."

"Yes princess."

Kimber took one more look at her much loved family and then left the room with her cell phone in hand.

She took a deep breath and then let it out as she dialed Paul's number. She was worried that he was at work and she'd be disturbing him, but she wanted to tell him as soon as possible. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hello."

"Hi Paul. It's Kimber."

"Hi. Um, did the results come back?"

"They did. I don't know how long it will take you to get everything worked out so that you can come down here, but I'll let the office know and we'll go in whenever it's good for you. Is Sierra coming with you?"

"She fought with herself over it, but she decided that she does want to be there."

"Okay. Luke and I would like to take you out to lunch or dinner or whatever that day. If Halden is yours, we'll need to talk and if he's Luke's it will be nice to feel like everything has closure."

"Yeah. I feel like shit for hoping that he's Luke's, but we all know that it would be so much better if he is."

"I know. I guess I'll let you go now. Call me when you have everything figured out."

"I will. Take care Kimber. Thanks for letting me know."

"Bye Paul."

"Bye Kimber."

Paul called her back that evening and told her that he and Sierra would be able to be in town the next Monday. It was four days away. Kimber was sure that the days were going to feel like years as they passed, but she was glad that he had been able to work everything out with his vacation and she knew that it definitely could have taken longer.

She let Luke know. The next morning, she called the facility that had handled their test results and made an appointment for them to come in Monday afternoon. They made plans to drop Alexis and Halden off with Luke's parents Monday morning.

The time did feel like it passed slowly, but by the time they were on their way to hear the results, Kimber felt like she wanted to run away. Luke had been so good to her and he acted the exact same way towards Halden that he did Alexis, but Kimber was still afraid that everything would take a turn for the worse if the results didn't say that Halden was Luke's son.

Luke pulled to a stop in the parking lot. Paul and Sierra were standing next to Paul's car. Paul saw them and waved. Luke squeezed Kimber's hand.

"Babe are you okay?"

"I am so nervous. Oh Luke, what if we've gotten our hopes up and Paul and Sierra's hopes up and Halden turns out to be Paul's son? I don't think I can take that."

"The easiest way for me to think of it babe was that I would be like his stepfather. It's a little different if you want to get real technical. We were technically separated when it happened and it's much easier for me to think of it that way. I know that I had an affair while we were most certainly not separated, but it helps me breathe a little better to think that you not only just had sex with Paul, but you did it while we were separated. We will get through this if Halden is Paul's son. I hope and pray that he's not because I want so badly for that boy to be mine. He's already stolen my heart. I look at his face and see my eyes, but the heart sees what it wants to sometimes. Let's go inside honey."

Luke squeezed her hand again and then got out of the car. They were in her car since it definitely had more room for the kids, but she had been too nervous to drive.

He opened her door and gave her his hand. She stepped out and he shut the door. He embraced her. She held on to him, breathing in his scent, feeling tears prick her eyes.

Paul cleared his throat behind them. "Sorry to interrupt, but I guess we should probably get inside."

Kimber pulled away from Luke and ended up looking straight into not Paul's eyes but Sierra's. The pretty woman gave her a half smile, though it looked to Kimber to be forced.

Luke twined his fingers through hers and they all walked together towards the door. He dropped her hand long enough to hold the door for everyone and then took her hand again. They walked to the counter and Luke announced who they were and what they were there for. The woman behind the desk nodded and said that someone would be with them in a few minutes.

Luke led her back to the group of chairs where Sierra and Paul were sitting. It bugged her that Luke chose to sit beside Sierra when there were two open chairs on Paul's left, but she forced it out of her mind and put her head on his shoulder and tried not to think about anything.

The minutes until someone called their names seemed to be everlasting. She felt nauseous when she followed Luke down a long hall and into an office.

They all sat down and the man behind the desk introduced himself. Kimber's heart leapt to her throat when he opened the folder in front of him. She almost wasn't sure that she believed her own ears when he announced that the father of Halden Elijah Stone was Lucas Stone.

She couldn't speak. She felt like she was walking around in a dreamlike state when Luke thanked the man and held out his hand to her to help her to her feet. She stumbled a little and her face felt like it was on fire when they left the office. She looked at Sierra and Paul and saw that Sierra was crying. Paul's eyes were filled with tears too.

The walk back to her car made her feel like she might have a bit of an idea what it felt like to be released from prison. Luke put his arms around her. She let her tears flow then. He held her, saying nothing.

He pulled back several minutes later and she pulled a travel pack of tissues out of her purse. She wiped her face and blew her nose. Paul and Sierra were standing next to Paul's car, looking uncomfortable.

Luke cleared his throat. "We'd like to take you out to lunch."

Sierra bit her lip. "Um." She turned to her husband. "What do you think Paul?"

He smiled. "I am so relieved right now, I feel like getting drunk."

Luke chuckled. "A drink might be in order too. There's a nice Italian place a few blocks away. My treat."

Sierra nodded. "Okay." Her eyes met Kimber's but she quickly looked away.

They got into the car and Luke drove them to the restaurant.

Luke

When Luke heard the confirmation that Halden was his son, he wanted to jump up and down and scream his head off. He didn't think he'd ever been so relieved in his whole life. Kimber still looked like she was going to throw up, but he knew that she must feel the same overwhelming feeling of happiness that he did.

Sierra and Paul had agreed to go out to lunch with them, so they drove to the restaurant where he and Kimber had had their first date. Luke had the offhanded thought as he followed them into the restaurant that Sierra was even more beautiful than he remembered her, but she was clutching Paul's arm like she never wanted to let go. Luke pushed all thoughts of the attractiveness of his ex-lover out of his mind as they waited to be seated.

The talk was stilted at first. Paul seemed even more uncomfortable than Sierra did. He felt pretty uncomfortable himself, but he knew that they all needed to walk away from this thing clean. Everything had to be put to rest for once and for all between him and Sierra and Kimber and Paul.

Once everyone besides Kimber had had a glass of wine it got a little easier. They talked about their kids and Paul's job, Luke's songwriting and Kimber's store. It still was nowhere near the most relaxed meal, but by the end, Luke was sure that they all felt better and hoped that there would no longer be anything that felt like it was unfinished between them.

When he had paid and they were all out in the parking lot, he gave Sierra a hug. He saw that Paul gave him a dirty look, but Sierra gave her husband an even dirtier one and held him tighter. When he let her go, he knew that he would never hold her in his arms again and realized that he was okay with that.

"Take care Sie."

She smiled. "You too. Tell Alexis I said 'hi.'"

"I will." He turned to Paul. "Take care of her. She deserves to be treated well."

Paul cleared his throat, and to Luke he still looked uncomfortable. "I will. I know. Best of luck with everything guys."

"You too. Drive safely."

"Always." Paul took Sierra's hand and they walked away.

Luke turned to Kimber. "I think I hear our bedroom calling our names."

Kimber smiled. "Me too."

Luke kissed her slow and easy. "There's nothing like a beautiful wife that's been given the okay by the doc to start having sex again. And an empty house. I love those babies and I am truly thanking my lucky stars that they are both mine by blood, but damn is it gonna be nice to have them tucked away with Grandma and Grandpa for the night." He leaned over and murmured a suggestive comment into her ear.

Kimber raised an eyebrow at his suggestion. "You think so huh?"

He grinned. "Oh yeah I do."

He took her hand briefly and then opened the car door for her. The drive back to their house seemed to take forever. He felt like there was a fire burning inside of him that was being fueled by his sex drive.

There was no talk as they unlocked the door and went into the house. They retreated to the bedroom and their clothes were soon on the floor beside the bed.

Luke pressed his beautiful wife gently back to the bed and kissed her. He let all his passion out into the kiss. He wanted her to feel the way he felt for her now more than ever.

She pulled back. "I love you Luke. Thank you for sticking by me through this whole crazy mess that I got us into."

"I got us into this mess. You and Paul just ended it. I admit that you probably could have gone about it with a little more thought put into it and saved us all a lot of headaches, but none of that matters now babe. It might suck to explain all of this to Alexis and Halden when they're old enough to understand, but you know what? I think they're going to look at us and shrug because we are still going to be married and going even stronger by then. I love you Kimber. Now let me show you how much. I meant what I whispered into your ear earlier." He winked at her.

"Mmm, it sounds good to me."

She gave him one last kiss. Then he took his time and tasted every inch of her body on his tongue. He brought her to orgasm with his mouth and then entered her slowly with his manhood. She kept her eyes locked on his as he moved above her, a mixture of passion, love and contentment on her face.

He captured her mouth with his when he came to orgasm, and then moved off of her and let out a contented sigh.

"You know babe, before I met you, I used to worry that I'd never be able to stay married to a woman for long because the sex is supposed to change after you get married."

"Uh huh."

"Yeah, so I was gonna marry Sierra, and I was ready to settle down when I met you, but I really did worry that the passion would die down. But it has never died down between us. I know it was a little weird after my affair for a while, but before we knew it our sex life was back to normal. It's pretty damned special to be able to make love to your best friend and not hate each other in the morning."

Kimber wrinkled her nose at him. "You're a goof Luke."

"I mean it babe. You're my best friend and you will always be my absolute favorite lover. You know you're happy with your sex life when the only woman you dream about making love to is your wife."

"Oh Luke."

"Do you dream about having sex with other guys?"

"No."

"I can tell by the look on your face that you do, but it's okay. I love you Kimber."

"I love you Luke."

He took her hand and then took her into his arms. He was truly content with his life. There had been times when he'd wondered if Kimber's secret would have been better left unsaid especially since Halden was his son, but he knew that her honesty had only made their marriage stronger. He was proud to call Kimber his wife. There was no other woman in the world he would rather grow old with. And the fact that they had gotten through his affair and her one-night stand with Paul and the questioned paternity of Halden, told Luke that their marriage could weather anything that life chose to throw at it.

Sierra

Sierra looked at Paul as he drove. She was so happy that the baby was Luke's that she felt like crying again. But what she wanted to do most of all was make love to her husband. Since it was such a long drive, they were staying in town overnight. The drive back to their hotel room seemed to take forever.

He pulled into the parking lot and they got out of the car. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to their room on the second floor. He grinned at her. "I'm anxious too baby."

"Uh huh." She tapped her foot as he unlocked the door.

As soon as he had closed it behind them, she rid herself of her clothes and moved to undress him. He put a hand on her arm. "Baby don't you want a little romance?"

"Nope. Not now. Very little foreplay will be required the first time either. The second time, you're more than welcome to blow my mind like you did the last time we made love. No condoms."

"Babe you're not on birth control. Are you sure you want to take the chance of getting pregnant so soon?"

Sierra shot him a dirty look. "I understand the consequences of having sex without a condom Paul. We have an appointment with a counselor. You're picking your stuff up and coming home as soon as we get back to town. We're going to put all of this shit behind us and make our marriage work. And making our marriage work includes you pleasing me in the bedroom. I'm more than willing to please you too of course, but you have to at least try to satisfy my sexual needs."

"Sierra I sometimes wonder if any man could satisfy your sexual needs."

"Ha ha. It's okay for you to want me Paul. I'm your wife. If you want to have sex and the baby's awake, whisper something dirty into my ear. Or if you don't feel comfortable talking dirty whisper into my ear that you want to make love when the baby's down for the night. Even if I'm not in the mood, I'll give you the chance to try to turn me on. And if that doesn't work, I'm the kind of wife that will still help you get off. But I don't see that as happening very often and getting you off turns me on anyway."

Sierra finished stripping him and pressed him gently back to the bed. "No condoms. If I get pregnant, I get pregnant. I feel like we can work through this now. I will work my hardest to make our marriage work. I think I might like to go back to work soon though. I love taking care of Nathan, but sometimes I feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. You understand that don't you?"

"Yes baby. I love you Sierra."

"I love you Paul."

She kissed him. She let all of her pent up sexual frustration out and let herself get lost in the feel of his lips on hers. She was soon excited and moved to straddle him. She took him inside of her slowly but her movements above him weren't slow. She couldn't take taking it slow with him the first time. It had been far too long.

She collapsed on top of him minutes later. He held her. She still felt a little like crying, but she wasn't going to let the misery that had threatened to overcome her in the past few months get to her on this day of all days. Her man was her man again. She wondered if since the baby was Luke's that Kimber's and Paul's secret would have been better left unsaid, but she knew that their marriage needed to be built on a strong foundation that included honesty.

As Paul took her hand and led her to the shower, she was content in the fact that she and Paul were both going to try harder. Counseling would be good for them and she didn't think that either of them would mind if she got pregnant. They had weathered quite a storm in the past few months, but she was looking forward to a bright future with the man that she loved and their beautiful son.
Take a sneak peek at the conclusion of the Twist of Fate series Run to You!

Run to You

Misty Reigenborn

Copyright 2013 By Misty Reigenborn

Kimber

Kimber Stone knew that her marriage was over as soon as she heard the other woman's voice on the phone. Life had thrown some crazy curveballs at her, in addition to some twists of fate that she chose not to think about, but this was just too much.

She paced her bedroom as she waited for her husband to return home, thinking that she had to figure out what she was going to say to him. But her mind was a blur, worse than it had been when she'd found out Luke had been cheating on her, worse even than when she had come to the decision that she had to tell him that the child she carried may not be his.

It all seemed so coincidental. Kimber was off of work that day and normally the book store ran well without her. But today there had been a problem with an order. So instead of going to the grocery store with Luke, she'd stayed behind to try to straighten out the mess that had been created when somehow the only books that hadn't come in her order had been the new novel out by the author that was doing a signing of that very book at the store in three days.

Kimber had no idea what she was going to do about the issue with the books, but she did know that it was going to be easy enough to straighten out her problems with Luke. It was going to hurt like hell, because she didn't believe she'd ever love another man the way she loved him. But Kimber knew that if she stayed in her marriage now, she'd never be able to live with herself.

Even more coincidental was the fact that she and Luke, unlike so many others these days, still had a home phone. She absentmindedly told herself that she needed to call and cancel the home phone, because it hardly ever rang anyway. Then she wondered if she would have ever known about what Luke had done if they hadn't still had a landline phone. The woman that had made the phone call that had ended her marriage once and for all had done an internet search and came up with their phone number.

Kimber sighed as she heard the front door open and close, signaling the fact that Luke had returned home. She took a deep breath and let it out, wondering if she was ready to face him. But as he entered their bedroom, she realized that she hadn't been ready. He looked so damned handsome that it made her want to cry even more.

She turned away from him as he reached to embrace her, feeling tears sting her eyes. Luke put a hand on her shoulder. "Babe, what's wrong?"

Kimber turned to face her husband, wondering if the anger she knew was bound to come out would be any better than the pain she was feeling. She felt like such a fool.

"What's wrong Luke, is that I received a phone call while you were out. Well, she wanted to talk to you actually, but of course you weren't here. I knew you were acting strange after you came back from meeting with that stupid pop star that wanted you to write that ridiculous song. Why didn't you tell me Luke? Why did you have to go on pretending that I was the person you wanted to be with when it was always her?"

"What are you talking about Kimber?"

He was turning his wedding ring around on his finger. Most people didn't notice Luke's nervous habits, but Kimber knew them like the back of her hand. She had thought that she'd known Luke, especially after all the therapy sessions they had attended after the possibility that their son Halden could belong to another man had come to light. But looking at him, looking at the handsome face that she had memorized every detail of, she realized that he might as well have been a stranger since the day she had met him.

"Don't give me that bullshit Luke. A woman named Jess called our house. She's a bartender in some shithole town. I'm sure you probably remember it. Or were you too drunk? Whatever. It doesn't matter. What matters is that this woman is pregnant. Not only is there the possibility that the child could be yours, though she did tell me that her fiancé is willing to raise the child like his own and the baby might be his anyway, but she told me that you opened up to her. Told her that you love your wife, but there's another woman you will always love more. She said you told her that when I was pregnant with Halden, you wished sometimes that he was Paul's."

The color drained from Luke's face. To Kimber, he looked like what she felt like right about now. She felt a little splash of triumph, but it faded quickly. She didn't know how she was going to explain to their children that Mommy and Daddy weren't going to be living together anymore.

"Kimber, I said a lot of things to Jess that I shouldn't have. You will never know how sorry I am."

"Please give me the courtesy of being honest for once. I think you were more honest with this woman than you've ever been with me. It's really sad to me that you can tell a woman you spent one night with the truth when you've been lying to me for years. This is it. I'm calling a lawyer first thing in the morning. We'll work out custody of the kids. Take what you want and get out. I don't want you in my house anymore."

"Kimber."

Kimber gave him a look and he shut up. She left the bedroom, glad that both of the kids were gone for the night. She didn't think she could face them right now and that hurt even more. Knowing that she was going to see Luke in their children every time she looked at them. Well, Kimber thought, stifling what felt like a completely inappropriate laugh, at least she hadn't made the colossal mistake of actually marrying the idiot she'd been engaged to shortly before she'd met Luke.

She slumped onto the couch, wondering what was going to stop her from getting completely shit faced as soon as Luke was out the door. She figured that there wasn't much. The kids were well taken care of, and she was going to be alone. The thought that Luke's side of the bed was going to remain empty hit her then. She put her head in her hands, trying not to cry. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

He passed by her fifteen minutes or so later, his arms so full that she almost got up and opened the door for him. But he said nothing to her as he tried to shift what was in his arms so he could open the front door. Finally he gave up, put some of what he was holding down and then opened the door. He didn't say goodbye. Kimber didn't know who she was angrier with when she heard the well-tuned engine of his Mustang start, him or her. There was a part of her that wanted to go after him.

But she didn't. She made herself a light dinner that she didn't eat much of since her stomach felt like it was tied in knots, called to make sure that everything was well with Alexis and Halden, and then set about getting drunk.

Luke

Luke didn't say anything to Kimber when he left the house. He figured at that point there wasn't much he could say that wouldn't make things worse. It was hard to leave Kimber because he did love her, but he also knew that he had never been fair to her either. He had never wanted to make her feel like his second choice, but the reality was that she had been.

As much as he loved Kimber, he would never love her like he loved Sierra. It hit him as he unlocked the door of the anonymous motel room that he had checked into simply because it had been the first place he had seen with 'vacany' lit up on the sign that he should have been honest with Kimber from the beginning.

He had come to that realization before of course. It had hit him hard when he had seen Sierra again. But the fact that it had hit him hardest when he had been with Jess that night was what bothered him. He had known that night that there was no going back from the things he had said, what he had done. And Luke knew that if he wanted to be honest with himself, a part of him had felt as if it was worth it. He believed that every person that cheated had to have some feeling, even if it was buried, that being with that other person was worth losing the person that they were with or they wouldn't have done it.

He half hated himself as he shoved his clothes into a dresser that looked like it had come from the 1950's. He felt like a selfish piece of shit for having sex with Jess. The idea that she carried a child that could be his turned his stomach. He knew that he could never be any kind of a father to her child, so even with as fucked up as it sounded to his own ears, he knew he wasn't going to contact Jess. He didn't want to have another child unless it was with Sierra.

He wondered what Sierra was doing at that moment as he lay back on the bed staring at the ceiling. The mattress seemed to be in less than stellar shape and it made a noise like it wanted to be put out of its misery as he rolled over. Luke sighed and lit a cigarette as he crossed to the dorm sized refrigerator, pulling out one of the beers he had bought at the liquor store on the way to the motel.

The cigarette tasted like shit and he was reminded of another reason he had decided to quit smoking as he put it out in the ashtray beside the bed. He thought briefly that a joint would be great right about now. He smoked occasionally since it helped him with his song writing sometimes, though it was yet another thing he had kept hidden from Kimber.

He shook his head at himself as he drained the beer. He was such an ass. His wife had just kicked him out of the house for good reason and he couldn't stop wondering what Sierra was up to. Shouldn't he be more concerned about how Kimber was feeling because he did love her and he knew that he had put her through a lot, than with what Sierra was doing? Sierra could be in bed with her husband right now, giving him a blow job Luke thought with a snort as he lit another cigarette, popping the top on another beer.

Luke wasn't feeling much by the time he went to bed that night. He had downed a twelve pack of beer and half a bottle of tequila. He figured he was going to wake up with a hell of a hangover, but he would take it as it came. He would figure it all out in the morning.
Sierra

"Paul are you fucking kidding me?" Sierra Brooks looked at her husband, wondering when things were going to be easy between them. She loved Paul, but he drove her so damned crazy sometimes that she wanted to kill him.

Paul sighed. "No. I'm not kidding Sierra. This is going to be good for us. I promise."

Sierra shook her head. "Dammit Paul. I just started this job. I can't leave now and expect to be able to get a job anywhere else. It was hard enough to get this job after I'd been out of the work force for so long."

Paul shrugged. "So what? You don't need to work. This job comes with a nice raise. They're taking care of our moving expenses too. I already found the perfect house."

Sierra shot daggers at Paul with her eyes. "Already house hunting without even bothering to tell me huh? How long have you known about this?"

Paul wouldn't look her in the eye. "Not long Sierra. I swear."

"Yeah right. You never could lie to me. This job is important to me Paul. You knew that I didn't want to be a stay-at-home Mom before we had Nathan."

"My job is important too Sierra. I can't pass up this opportunity."

"So that's it then? We're moving and I have no say in the matter? Dammit Paul. I hate it when you do things like this to me."

Paul snorted. "Do things like this to you Sierra? What about what you did with Luke?"

"What about what you did with Kimber? At least Luke and I were smarter than you two. It still blows my mind that two highly intelligent people could do something so damned stupid. We're not talking about that right now. We're talking about how you always make the big decisions in our lives without ever bothering to think about how they might make me feel."

"It wasn't bullshit Sierra and you know it. I saw the way you looked at Luke when we went to get the results of the paternity test. You still have feelings for him."

"Was it him that I spent all night after making love with? Don't try to change the subject Paul. You have made every major decision in our marriage and I am damned tired of it."

"You know what I'm tired of Sierra? I'm tired of feeling like you're comparing me to Luke every time we have a problem. I know you do. I can see the wheels turning in your head after I've disappointed you in bed, or after I've done something to piss you off like now. You wonder about what things would be like if you'd married him instead of me."

"Shut the fuck up Paul."

Sierra turned away from him. She wanted to ring his neck and she was glad that Nathan wasn't home to hear them yelling at each other yet again. Things had been good for them for a while, especially since she had started working again. But it seemed as if every time things were going well for her and Paul, something had to come up that threw a wrench in the works. This was just another example.

She couldn't believe that he wanted them to move again. She didn't care if he would be making more money. She thought their present house was too big and filled with a bunch of expensive stuff they didn't need already. And she knew that the "perfect" house Paul had found probably had at least four bedrooms like this one did, leading her to believe that he was going on another campaign to try to turn her into nothing but a baby maker. Sierra loved Nathan more than she'd ever loved anyone, but her job was important to her too. While she seemed to understand that she could have both, Paul had never seemed to.

"Sierra, does this really have to turn into another shouting match? I am so damned tired of arguing with you."

"We don't need to argue about this Paul. I'm not going."

Paul narrowed his eyes at her. "What do you mean you're not going?"

Sierra shrugged, dismissing him like he had seemed to dismiss the idea of her having a job without a second thought. "I mean exactly what I said. I am not going. You can stay or you can go and take this wonderful job with money that we don't need that is probably less than what I make anyway. Do what you want like always."

Paul laughed. "The raise that comes with this job is actually closer to twice what you make in a year Sierra. You shouldn't dismiss something so easily when it's going to have a huge impact on our children."

Sierra snorted. "We only have one child. And if you don't start thinking about me before you make decisions that affect all of us, Nathan is the only child that we are ever going to share."

"Don't threaten me Sierra. Though you don't seem to have much leverage anyway."

Sierra closed her eyes. She had the thought that if she had to look at Paul again, she really was going to strangle him. So she avoided looking at him as she crossed to the closet, pulling out her rolling suitcase, and tossing things in without really thinking about it. Paul was silent until she zipped the suitcase and tried to roll it out the bedroom door.

"Sierra what are you doing?"

"I am leaving. So that I don't go to jail for domestic violence for beating the shit out of my selfish husband. The husband who has never seemed to care about what I want in my life."

"It's our life Sierra. Of course I care about what you want."

Sierra shook her head. She had a sinking feeling in her heart. She had worried before that her marriage would end, but now it seemed inevitable. It had been spur of the moment when she'd told Paul that she wasn't going with him when he moved, but now she realized that she really wasn't going with him. She would be miserable if she did, and no matter how much she loved him, it had never dawned on her more that she would never be the kind of wife that he saw himself growing old with.

She turned away from him again, tears stinging her eyes. "I need time to think Paul."

"Sierra please. This is a big opportunity for me, but you're my heart. I need you by my side. I love you."

"I know you do Paul, but maybe it's time that we both stop trying to fool ourselves. If you don't understand why I can't go with you, understand why my job is important to me too, then maybe we'd both be better off in the end if you do leave without me."

Not giving Paul time to say anything, Sierra picked up the suitcase and carried it down the stairs and out the front door. She sat for a moment in her car, wondering if he would try to stop her. It reminded her of the night she had sat outside Luke's house wondering if he would come after her, and she stifled the laugh that started to bubble up. She wondered as she backed out of the driveway if Paul was right. Would she always compare him to Luke?

Paul

Paul wanted to go after Sierra when she left the house, but there was a part of him that was afraid he had already lost her. The fact that Sierra had a temper and he'd pissed her off didn't help either. The way he saw things, his new job was the best thing that could have happened to them. He'd be making good money, the new town was much nicer than where they were living now, and he'd already made sure that the schools were good. When Nathan started Kindergarten he wanted to be able to say that his son was going to one of the best schools in the country. He wanted a good life for Nathan, for all of them.

Paul always thought of his family before anything else, and he didn't understand how Sierra couldn't see that. Then again he thought, she had such a temper that she almost always had to get being angry with him out of the way before she would listen to reason.

He made himself a drink, wondering how long it would take him to convince Sierra that the move was the best thing for all of them. He didn't like to think of himself as someone who would make his wife feel as if she didn't have a real say in the important decisions in their lives, but Sierra still tended to be a little impulsive. It was one thing for him to admit that being impulsive was okay when it came to sex, it was another thing completely for him to be okay with the fact that she made such rash split second decisions about important things in their lives.

But Sierra was Sierra and she was always going to be. And Paul did love her for who she was. She may have been quick to anger and stubborn as the day was long, but she was also so passionate about the things that she cared about that it almost made up for the rest. She used to be that passionate about him too, or at least he'd thought so. Until lately. Lately it seemed as if they were going back to the routine of walking on egg shells around each other so that one of them didn't explode like they had been when Sierra was pregnant with Nathan. When she'd had her affair with Luke.

Paul sighed as he thought of Luke. He drained the last of his drink and made himself another, glad that Nathan hadn't been home when he and Sierra had had their latest blowout. He didn't want his son to see them bickering, acting like they were forever stuck at the ages they'd been when they'd met in college. But he had been honest with Sierra when he'd remarked to her that he was afraid she was forever comparing him to Luke. He'd seen a strange look pass through her eyes when she'd seen Luke when they'd gone to hear the results of the paternity test.

He didn't think he'd ever been more thankful for the results of any test in his life at that moment, and had vowed that he would do whatever it took to make his marriage work. Now though, he was beginning to wonder if he and Sierra would ever be on the same page. He knew that he would never enjoy sex as much as she did, he knew that her job held some importance to her that he would never understand, and he knew he would always wonder if she was thinking of Luke.

As Paul lay down to sleep that night, he wondered how such a good thing could be the final nail in what suddenly felt like the coffin of his marriage.
