THEY'RE AFRAID TO TELL THEIR
WIVES FOR THE SAME PURPOSE,
IF THEY HAVE A MODERATELY
GOOD MARRIAGE,
THEY'RE AFID OF
A DIVORCE,
THEY DON'T WANNA
LOSE THIS PERSON,
■
AND THIS IS SOMETHING
AS I SAID MANY TIMES,
IT'S NOT VERY WELL ACCEPTED,
ESPECIALLY IN A MARRIAGE
WHERE YOU KEPT IT A SECRET,
'CAUSE THEY GO, 
"IF YOU KEPT THAT SECRET
WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU
KEPT SECRET ?"
IT BECOMES A BETRAYAL
AND THAT HURTS A WOMAN MORE SO
THAN BEING A TRANSVESTITE,
IS THAT YOU LIED TO THEM,
YOU HID FROM THEM,
YOU BETRAYED THEM.
A LOT OF THEM FEEL
MORE OFFENDED BY THAT,
AND THEY NEVER FORGIVE IT.
( woman )
DID THAT HAPPEN TO YOU ?
THAT HAPPENED TO ME 
TWO TIMES.
THE THING IS, WE GO TO CLUBS
AND WE MEET GIRLS
WHO THINK THIS IS GREAT.
A LOT OF WOMAN DO FIND THIS
VERY INTRIGUING.
BUT, I REALLY THINK
THERE ARE NOT MANY WOMEN
WHO WOULD LIKE IT FOR THEIR
HUSBANDS OR BOYFRIENDS.
THAT SMELLS GOOD !
OOH.
IT'S REALLY SYMPTOMATIC
OF A DYSFUNCTION. 
IF YOU WANNA TALK IN MEDICAL
OR PSYCHOLOGICAL TERMS.
THE ONLY REMEDY
OR ONLY CURE
TO THIS DISEASE 
OR DYSFUNCTION
IS TO DO THIS,
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE AS IF
I TOOK A PART OF ME
AND LOCKED IT IN THE CLOSET 
FOR A LONG TIME.
IF YOU LOCK ANYBODY
IN A CLOSET,
THEY BEGIN TO--
( man )
I DON'T KNOW IF I AGREE
WITH THE WORD "DISEASE".
THIS IS NOT A DISEASE.
I THINK THE
DYSFUNCTION COMES IN,
NOT FROM THE CROSSDRESSING,
BUT THE REACTION FROM OTHERS.
IT'S THE GENERAL PUBLIC,
THE SOCIETY REJECTION,
IT'S NOT--
I'M VERY COMFORTABLE WITH ME.
IT'S WITH "JOE BLOW"
OVER THERE
THAT I'M NOT 
COMFORTABLE WITH.
WHATEVER IT IS,
THERE'S A DYSFUNCTION.
I'LL TAKE U TO THE BARS,
MY WIFE SAYS IT 
TO ME ALL THE TIME,
THAT A SUBSTANTIAL
NUMBER OF US,
ARE HIGHLY DYSFUNCTIONAL.
AND I SAY "DYSFUNCTIONAL"
IN A STRICT SOCIAL SENSE.
IT'S■■ETTER THAT 
THEY THINK I'M GAY,
THAN THEY THINK
I'M A TRANSVESTITE.
TRANSVESTITISM 
AND CROSSDRESSING
■■
IS STILL THE BOTTOM 
OF THE SOCIAL WRUNG.
IT'S THE MICRO-MINORITY.
WE'VE BECOME,
AS OUR OWN FRIENDSHIPS,
WE HANG OUT 
WITH EACH OTHER,
AS FAR AS GOING TO PLACES
AND DOING THINGS.
WHETHER IT'S GOING SHOPPING,
GOING TO A CLUB,
TAKING A TRIP TOGETHER.
I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE
WHO DO THIS
IN DIFFERENT AREAS
OF THE COUNTRY,
AND THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS
I HAVE FOUND.
YOU CAN HAVE A PRETTY FULFILLING
RELATIONSHIP WITH FRIENDS.
IT MAY NOT BE ON A TOTALLY
INTIMATE BASIS,
A PURE SEXUAL BASIS,
OR A SLEEPING BASIS,
BUT YOU COULD HAVE LOTS OF
GOOD FRIENDS IN YOUR LIFE,
AND HAVE A VERY
FULFILLING LIFE.
AS FAR AS FINDING A...
A MATE...
A GENETIC FEMALE
THAT WOULD BE INTERESTED,
IF IT HAPPENS, IT HAPPENS.
I DON'T SUSPECT IT WILL
ANY TIME SOON.
( woman )
WOULD ANYBODY HERE BE
COMFORTABLE BEING PHOTOGRAPHED
WITHOUT NOT BEING DRESSED ?
SEE ?
WHAT ABOUT YOU ?
IT'S SOCIETAL PROBLEMS.
ONLY FOR WORK PURPOSES,
OTHER THAN THAT...
I HAVE FRIENDS,
I HAVE RELATIONSHIPS.
I HAVE RELATIONSHIPS
WITH PEOPLE
THAT I WOULD NOT WANT THEM
TO BE BURDENED WITH THIS.
YOU COULD LOSE A LOT.
IT'S SOMETHING YOU LIVE WITH,
IT'S A FEAR.
I HAVE FRIENDS
GOING THROUGH IT RIGHT NOW,
RIGHT NOW, I HAVE A FRIEND,
SAME THING,
AND HE'S WILLING TO GIVE
HIS WIFE HALF A MILLION DOLLARS,
AND HE'LL HAVE MONEY, 
HE'S NOT GONNA BE POOR,
BUT, SAME KINDA THING,
WORRIED ABOUT WILL HE LOSE
CLIENTS IF SHE OPENS HER MOUTH,
'CAUSE SHE WORKED
IN THE BUSINESS WITH HIM.
SHE CAN CALL
ALL THE CLIENTS AND SAY,
"MY HUSBAND'S 
A VERY WEIRD PERSON."
( woman )
YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT
YOUR WIFE DOING THAT ?
OF COURSE I WAS,
I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THAT.
I WAS MARRIED TWICE,
AND WITH MY FIRST WIFE 
I WAS DEATHLY AFRAID OF IT.
MY ATTORNEY DID NOT
KNOW ABOUT THIS.
I HAD NOT TOLD ANYONE
EXCEPT MY SISTER,
'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT MY SISTER 
TO HEAR IT FROM MY EX-WIFE. 
I FIGURED I BETTER TELL HER,
I DIDN'T TELL MY KIDS,
WE KEPT THAT FROM THE KIDS,
THAT WAS NOT NEEDED,
THAT DID NOT HAVE TO BE DONE.
BUT, YEAH,
E FEAR WAS THERE.
THE SECOND WIFE,
THE SAME SITUATION.
( woman )
WOULD YOU WANNA
GET MARRIED AGAIN ?
IF I FOUND SOMEBODY,
I COULD GET MARRIED
I'VE OFTEN THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.
I WON'T EVER
CLOSET THIS AGAIN,
THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO
ACCEPT MY LIFESTYLE.
OBVIOUSLY, WHATEVER
LIFESTYLE THEY HAVE,
I'D HAVE TO
EXCEPT THI'S TOO.
I WOULD, YEAH,
I LIKE ONE ON ONE
RELATIONSHIPS.
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
THAT KIND OF PERSON.
BUT, I'D RATHER BE BY MYSELF
THEN GO THROUGH TORMENT AGAIN.
IT'S NOT WORTH IT.
WOMAN TEND TO KEEP
THEIR ELBOWS
CLOSER TO THEIR BODIES,
AND WHEN THEY'RE
MOVING THEIR HANDS,
THEY'RE NOT IN FISTS,
A LOT OF GUYS DANCE LIKE THIS.
IF YOU TAKE YOUR HANDS AND YOU
START MAKING THEM LIKE THIS.
I'M EXAGGERATING RIGHT NOW,
BUT YOU SEE,
NOW YOU'RE GETTING THAT FLOW,
YOU GOT A FIGURE EIGHT,
WITHOUT EVEN TRYING,
THERE'S NO WAY OF DOING IT
WITHOUT THE HIP MOVEMENT.
THE HIP IS WHERE IT'S AT.
MEN DANCE FROM SHOULDERS,
WOMEN DANCE FROM HIPS.
IF YOU WANNA GET...
I'M NNA DO 
SOME OTHER THINGS,
I DON'T THINK
YOU'LL FOLLOW ME BUT,
THIS IS A FORWARD,
BACK, FORWARD.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...
LOOK AT THIS GIRL GO.
YOU GO, GIRL.
GO TO AEROBIC CLASSES,
YOU CAN WEAR A TIGHT TOP,
BUT, REALISTICALLY
YOU SHOULD WEAR A BRA,
TO MAKE SURE
THEY STAY IN POSITION.
I HAD CIRCUMSTANCES
THAT WERE VERY FUNNY.
ONE TIME I WAS DANNG
REALLY HARD, WEARING THIS THING,
I HAD NOTHING UNDERNEATH,
ALL OF A SUDDEN THE GIRL
I WAS DANCING WITH WAS LAUGHIN',
LOOK LIKE A CYCLOPS,
THEY BOTH ENDED UP VERTICALLY,
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.
I WENT, "HOLY SHIT",
I'M TRYIN' TO READJUST THEM,
MOVE 'EM 
ALL OVER THE PLACE.
SO THERE ARE 
FUN THINGS THAT HAPPEN.
HERE I AM IN CENTRAL PARK,
JOGGING IN DRAG,
IT HAS TO BE THE FIRST TIME
ANYBODY JOGGED IN DRAG THERE,
IT'S KIND OF FUN
JUST BEING OUT THERE,
JUST DOING THINGS
THAT REGULAR PEOPLE DO,
INSTEAD OF 
HIDING ALL THE TIME,
MAYBE GOING SHOPPING
OR GOING TO A CLUB AT NIGHT,
THIS IS KIND OF FUN,
I KNOW PEOPLE MIGHT BE
LOOKING AT ME,
'CAUSE I'M BUILT LIKE
A VERY, VERY STRONG WOMAN.
I DON'T CARE.
( woman )
HOW WOULD THAT WORK,
DANCING ?
( Jeff )
I DO THAT ALL THE TIME,
BUT I GO TO SPECIAL BARS
WHERE I MEET WOMEN.
I DON'T GO TO
REGULAR BARS DRESSED.
I'M TALKIN' ABOUT A WOMAN
THAT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO DATE.
WELL, I WOULD MEET HER.
IF SHE SAW ME DRESSED,
SHE WOULD KNOW ABOUT ME.
THAT'S MY BIGGEST SECRET.
ONCE THAT SECRET'S OUT,
HEY, THIS IS ME.
THE BAD PART,
AND I'VE HAD THIS,
IS WHEN I GO TO REGULAR PLACES
AND I MEET WOMEN.
I'D HAVE SEVERAL
THAT I'VE BEEN INTIMATE WITH.
AND I ALWAYS HAVE THAT THING,
HERE WE GO AGAIN,
NOW SHE LIKES ME,
I'M STARTING TO LIKE HER,
I'VE GOT TO TELL HER
ABOUT MYSELF.
HOW'S SHE GONNA REACT ?
AND IN MOST CASES
IT'SEGATIVE.
WHY DO I WANNA
KEEP PUTTING MYSELF
THROUGH THAT 
NEGATIVE SITUATION ?
YORE BANGIN' YOURSELF
IN THE HEAD EVERY TIME.
SO, NOW MOST OF THE WOMEN
THAT I MEET, MEET ME,
WHEN I START TO DATE THEM,
THEY ALREADY MET JEAN.
THEY USUALLY 
MEET JEAN FIRST.
I CAN MEET SOMEBODY 
AT THIS CONFERENCE. 
IT'S POSSIBLE.
