-You just celebrated
a big milestone in your career
-Yeah.
-30 years in comedy?
-My first open-mic night
was 30 years ago this month.
-That doesn't seem possible.
[ Cheers and applause ]
That doesn't seem possible
-Yeah, I can't believe it,
either, man.
I can't believe it, either
It was actually --
It wasn't this month.
It was March 31st,
and, then, I didn't go on
till after midnight,
so technically, my anniversary
was April Fools' Day.
-Is that perfect or what, man?
-Which kind of makes it
easy to remember.
It was right around the corner
at a place called
Ye Olde Tripple Inn.
It's not there anymore.
-Was it a comedy place?
-It was, like, open mic.
I followed a bongo player.
-Wow.
-Yeah.
-Wow.
-I wonder how he's doing.
-How was the gig? Do you
remember anything about it
-I remember
being really nervous,
and I remember --
I had one joke that worked
-What was it?
-I told a bunch of stories
that I wasn't really sure
what was happening.
But I had one joke about -
You know, my actual --
Ross is my middle name.
Jeff Ross.
But my real last name
is Lifschultz,
so I said, "Lifschultz.
That's an old Hebrew word
that means, 'Hey,
you ought to change that.'
[ Laughter ]
That's actually a good joke.
That's a good joke.
-Yeah.
-Talk to me about
going on tour with Attell.
-Dave Attell and I
are back on tour.
You know, we did a Netflix
special late last year
called "Bumping Mics."
-Yeah.
-And Dave Attell is my
all-time favorite comedian
He's just a --
He's just a joke machine.
He talks in punchlines.
-He's everyone's favorite.
He's unbelievable.
-And it's like taking my grandma
out on tour, you know?
He never wants
to stay up late anymore.
You know, he doesn't want
to go out and party anymore,
but he's the best joke write
in the world,
and I get to up my game.
I love that guy.
If you don't know Dave Attell,
he looks like the last fac
that your puppy sees
before he gets put to sleep.
[ Audience groans ]
-That's a compliment.
That's so nice of you to say
-That way,
he can get me back later.
-This Friday, you're
at the Sands Bethlehem,
then May 25th, you're in
Atlantic City at the Borgata
That's a great room.
Yeah, we sold out.
We added a second show
at the Borgata this weekend.
-The Mirage in Las Vegas.
Harrah's in Southern California.
Valley Center, California.
If you want to see a great
comedy show, you got to watc
these guys, 'cause, dude,
I just saw you --
Last I saw you,
you were opening for Rock.
-That was a good one.
-You opened for Chris Rock
And it was unbelievable.
Dude, you crushed that night
-Thanks, man.
-Not just the roasting part.
Your stand-up was just crushing.
-Yeah.
-It was so great, man.
-Well, when you open
for Chris Rock,
you get to meet
all the big stars.
Like, I got starstruck
afterwards.
I was backstage,
and I was, "Oh, my God.
Barbra Streisand.
This is such an honor.
Can I get a picture?"
And she said,
"I'm Mickey Rourke."
[ Laughter ]
-Wow! She said that.
Oh, my gosh.
[ Laughter ]
Is there -- I know
you've roasted Trump before.
-Yeah, yeah.
-You did a great job with that
-Thank you.
I roasted Donald Trump twice
I've known him --
I feel like any second,
he's going to call me up and
offer me a cabinet position.
-It could happen, right?
-Yeah.
-Is there any Democrats
that you're looking
forward to roasting?
-Oh, my God. Well,
they'd all be kind of fun.
Bernie would be a good roast
-Oh, yeah.
Bernie Sanders is so old,
Colonel Sanders
is named after him.
[ Laughter ]
Bernie Sanders is so old,
his favorite Commandment
is "thou shalt not
cut thy hair."
-These "Historical Roasts.
-Yeah.
-I think it's a brilliant idea
-Thanks.
-Basically, these are people
that you're like,
"Oh, I've always wanted to roast
but I can't because
they're not with us."
-Yeah, well,
people always say to me, like,
"Jeff, who would
your dream roast be?"
I roast the ones I love.
So I stopped and I made a list
of the biggest heroes I have
We're roasting
Martin Luther King.
We're roasting Cleopatra,
who was a great female general
We're roasting Muhammad Ali,
who I worship.
We're roasting Anne Frank.
[ Audience groans ]
Too soon?
I want -- People have to
remember these stories.
People always say never forget
when it comes to the Holocaust
and I say, "Well,
we have to remind young people
exactly who Anne Frank was."
Also, it's a cautionary tale
about how we treat refugee
and immigrants today.
So I wanted to roast --
The Anne Frank roast.
Gilbert Gottfried plays Hitler
It's a funny show.
-Oh, my God.
-And then we roast Abe Lincoln
my favorite president
of all time.
-How do you roast Abe Lincoln?
-Everyone always said
Abe Lincoln had
a great sense of humor.
Every history book says that
-Yeah. I did read that, yeah
-Abe, Americans
love you so much, we put you
on the only coin
that we throw in the garbage
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, Abe, you should have tried
emancipating that mole
from your cheek.
-When you do these, you have
comedians play the characters.
-Yeah, Bob Saget
plays Abe Lincoln.
-That's perfect.
Is that fantastic?
-Yes.
-That is perfect.
-And then, on top of that --
And Bob is hilarious
as Abe Lincoln.
I mean, he was so into it,
I couldn't get him
to take the hat and beard of
for three days.
And, then, John Stamos
plays John Wilkes Booth.
-No.
-Yeah.
So it's a pretty crazy show.
-That's perfect.
-Yeah, and I play myself
as a Union general,
the Roast Master General
of the Union Army.
-That makes so much sense.
Gosh. It's a really funny show
He's the master at his craft
I want to show everyone a clip
Here's Jeff Ross
roasting Abe Lincoln
in "Historical Roasts."
Take a look at this.
-This is exciting. Are you
ready for this, Mr. President?
-Fire away.
Bad -- Bad choice of words
-I can't believe I'm meeting
the great emancipator
and the old rail splitter,
which is also
John Stamos' name on Grindr.
[ Laughter ]
Mr. President, you did something
no modern president
has accomplished.
You accomplished stuff.
[ Laughter ]
I only roast the ones I love
and I love you, Abraham Lincoln.
You not only preserved
the Union and abolished slavery,
but thanks to you,
one day a year,
we get 25% off on TVs
and pickup trucks!
[ Chanting ] USA! USA!
USA! USA! USA!
-USA!
-Jeff Ross, everybody.
