

In the Face of Darkness

Sarah Dell

Copyright © 2013 Sarah Dell

All rights reserved.

DEDICATION

To Kacy, without your support and encouragement this book would still just be a thought in my head.

PROLOGUE

Trevor Caligari wiped the blood from his face. He had never shot a man before and he hadn't anticipated the mess it would make. He could already feel a headache forming in the back of his head from all the screaming. The screaming was coming from his secretary who had barged into his office after hearing the gun shot. Mrs. Malory had been the secretary for his predecessor for over twenty years. Caligari imagined that she only stayed on because she didn't know what else to do. He knew she wasn't loyal to him.

"Mrs. Malory" he said hoping that she would finally stop screaming. He watched as Mrs. Malory did her best to compose herself as she walked out of his small office. She gathered her things from her desk and let the office door slam behind her as she left. Caligari smiled. She would take the rest of the day off to tell everyone on the Island about what happened and be back at her desk in the morning. Mrs. Malory lived for a good piece of gossip and he gave her plenty of that. He was going to do this job his way, and he wanted everyone to know it.

At thirty, he was the youngest leader in the history of the Brotherhood. There were those who disagreed with his appointment, but the council who put him in charge understood that he was the only one willing to do what needed to be done. There were hard decisions that needed to be made, decisions none of the senior members were able to make.

Caligari knew that his predecessors believed themselves to be pious and the Brotherhood to be a pure organization. The official mission of the Brotherhood was to rid the world of evil, but he knew that there was more to the Brotherhood. He was far from pious and he knew that ridding the world of evil was impossible. The best the Brotherhood could do was put up a good fight.

Caligari had seen true evil, and he would make sure that evil didn't get a foot hold in the world. To do this, he would be forced to not only tolerate the existence of other evils, but become an ally of those evils. This was not going to be a popular view, and soon he would have to weed out any brothers who would choose to stand in his way.

Caligari stared at the blood spatter on the walls of his office and sighed; he was going to have to find someone to clean up this mess. It was an old tradition to kill a brother who failed a mission. You either completed your mission or you died trying. He couldn't recall it being done in his lifetime, but the circumstances justified the punishment.

One of the biggest problems with the Brotherhood is that they care too much about honor and traditions. The families of the founding members are treated like royalty. The body sitting in front of him was a descendant of a founding member, which was why he was given the mission of finding the girl.

A picture... Caligari laughed. He had brought back a picture. He had gotten close enough to take a picture, but he still let her get away. Caligari hadn't planned on killing the man, but he had come into his office and laid the picture down on his desk like it was some kind of prize. Caligari didn't need a picture. He needed the girl.

Caligari didn't feel sorry for the dead man. He had been given every opportunity to succeed, but he had still failed. Caligari hadn't been given any opportunities; he had taken them.

Caligari looked up when he heard the door to the antechamber open. He was expecting his second meeting of the day. He hoped that this meeting would go better than the last. Matthias Sawyer was not a popular member of the Brotherhood. Like every other brother but himself, Matthias was bound by blood to the Brotherhood. Matthias had not grown up on the Island like most of the brothers, but the blood bond brought him back.

Matthias was a descendant of one of the founding members, and the blood bond that was passed down to him had made the choice for him. Due to his lack of popularity, Matthias was sent out on less important missions. However, unlike the dead man before him, Mathias had completed all his missions.

Caligari knew Matthias would do anything to be released from his blood bond. He saw Matthias for what he was; a valuable asset and he knew just the incentive Matthias needed to succeed at his last mission. Caligari had no time to worry about what the others in the Brotherhood would think; the girl needed to be found. He rose as Matthias strode into the office. "Brother Matthias, I have been looking forward to meeting you. I would ask you to sit down, but my only chair is occupied at the moment" Caligari motioned to the lifeless body.

"Is that Sturmer?" Matthias's face remained expressionless as he looked at the dead body.

"Yes, I shot him because he failed a mission. You know our law" Caligari said.

"Yes, but I wasn't aware that law was being carried out" Matthias said.

"It is now. I know you are wondering why I have asked you to meet me here" Caligari changed the topic from the dead Sturmer.

"Do you know this girl?" Caligari held the picture so Matthias could see it.

"No" Matthias said. Caligari saw the small change in Matthias's face before he could hide it. Caligari knew that he was lying. His research indicated Matthias had lived in the same area as the girl before coming to the Brotherhood.

"Lying to me is not in your best interest" Caligari said.

"She died" Matthias said softly.

"Sturmer took this picture last week" Caligari said.

"That's impossible" Matthias said.

"Is it?" Caligari waited for Matthias to understand his meaning. The girl wouldn't be the first member of the undead Matthias had been asked to track down. "Do you think you can find her?" Caligari asked.

"Yes" Matthias said.

"Good. Because if you complete this mission for me I'll give you the one thing in this world that you want; I'll give you your freedom" Caligari knew this was just the motivation he needed.

"No one has ever been allowed to leave the Brotherhood" Matthias said.

"There are going to be a lot of firsts now that I'm in charge" Caligari said.

"I bring you the girl and you release me from the Brotherhood" Matthias repeated.

"That's what I'm offering you, and I'd prefer not to have to make another mess in my office" Caligari said as watched Matthias leave.

CHAPTER 1

As I stood over my own grave I realized that I had wasted my time coming here. When I had imagined this moment I thought I would remember what it was like to be human. I thought I would realize that my humanity was worth fighting for. But, seeing my name etched in stone only made me want to give up the fight even more. I sighed; at least I had an answer to my question, even if it wasn't the answer I wanted.

It was silly of me to think seeing my grave would change anything. It really wasn't a grave since I wasn't in it; it was just a plot of ground. I desperately wanted to feel human and remember the person that I used to be.

I wouldn't have come to my grave at all if it wasn't for my father. His grave was next to mine. Technically, he wasn't in his grave either, but it felt good to have a place to visit him. He had died in a fire. I wasn't sure what was buried here and I didn't need to know. I thought visiting my father's grave would make me feel human, but it didn't.

Most of my human memories had faded, but I remember the night my father died. It was the same night I became a vampire. I woke up in the middle of the night to a wall of flames. I tried to get to my father's room, but the flames were blocking my path. Soon, the smoke was so thick I couldn't breathe. I must have passed out because the next thing I remember is waking up as a vampire. Endora told me she had seen the flames engulfing the house. She rescued me from the fire by turning me into a vampire, but she couldn't do the same for my father.

"It's a bit morbid to visit your own grave" I heard a voice that stirred memories hidden so deep inside my mind that I had almost forgotten they existed. I turned around and watched him step out from behind the trunk of a sweet gum tree.

Seeing Matthias Sawyer brought me back to a day that came rushing back to me in a flash. I was sixteen and in love, a time before I knew about vampires. It was a Tuesday and we had a test in History. It had been a normal day until it wasn't.

I haven't seen him since becoming a vampire. I always wondered what had happened to him. I assumed he thought that I was dead. I wondered if he cried at my funeral; or if he ever thought of me. It had been ten years and he had changed in ways that I could not have imagined. He looked older than he was. He was looking at me like he didn't know me; and he didn't know me, I thought. I wasn't the girl he used to know.

He was right; it was morbid of me to come here. I wouldn't have taken the risk if I had thought anyone would be here. But, I had taken the risk coming here, and now I was paying for it. What was I going to say to him? Sorry you thought I was dead, but I'm actually a vampire. There was no way of explaining that he would understand. I looked at him; he didn't seem the least bit surprised to find me here.

"You look exactly the same, except for your hair" he said. I fingered the candy apple red hair that used to be the color of chocolate. I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't want him to see me like this. I wanted him to remember me the way I was.

"Do you know how many times I visited your grave?" he asked. "How many times I sat here and told you my darkest secrets? If you had told me the day you died that there was something worse I wouldn't have believed you" he said. "I thought you dying was the worst thing I would have to go thru in my life, but I guess I was wrong. Now I have to see you as a vampire... that's worse" he said.

"You know what I am?" I asked. I should have felt something from his words, but I didn't. If those words couldn't make me feel anything then nothing would.

"Yes" he said.

"You know about vampires?" I asked.

"Yeah, I've killed several" he said.

"Are you here to kill me?" I asked. I wondered if this is how it ends. Endora saves me from a fire so that ten years later the love of my life can kill me.

"No, I'm here to save you" he said as if he were delivering the punch line of a joke. I let out a small laugh. If he thought he could save me then the joke was on him.

"Save me from what?" I asked. "I may be walking around with a new hair color, but that doesn't change the fact that I died in that fire" I told him. "You can't save me from being a vampire" I told him.

"You're wrong. I can take you somewhere where you can be free" he said. "I'm giving you another option, and I suggest you take it".

"I can never be free" I said. "I'm not the girl you used to know, and I can never be her again" I said. "It would be better if you thought of me as dead" I said.

"I do think of you as being dead. I loved a girl with soft brown hair and eyes that were always smiling. You're just a vampire who looks like the girl I loved; but you can be that girl again. If you come with me I can see her again" he said.

"That girl is gone" I said. His words could have given me hope if I had let them, but if this life had taught me anything it was to never believe in false hope. Hope only led to heartbreak, and I had already had too much heartbreak in my short life.

"Maybe you're right, but if there is a chance I can have that girl back then I have to try, and I don't care if you come willingly or not" he said.

"I can't go with you" I said.

"I'm giving you a way out" he moved closer to me so he could look down into my eyes. "You could be free; I know this is not the life you want" he said. "Do you want to spend eternity cursed to walk the earth as a vampire? Do you want to be a slave to the vampire who created you?" he asked.

"You talk about things you can't understand. You don't understand how strong the blood bond between a vampire and their sire is. There is no place I can be free. There is no place that she won't find me. I will only be free when I die, and for me that could be a long time" I said.

I was talking about the blood bond that was formed between Endora and me when she made me a vampire. A blood bond between vampires was stronger than any human desire to be free. The bond was sealed by a vampire's first kill. Once I made my first kill I wouldn't have the desire to be free anymore. After the first kill what was left of my humanity would be gone.

"I didn't say leaving would be easy" he said.

"I can't leave with you, and you can't seek me out again. Just being near me is putting you in danger" I told him. "You have to let me go. You have to forget that I ever existed" I told him.

"You will come with me" he said. "If you remember I don't give up easily" he said. I smiled at the thoughts his words welled up inside me. Then I left him in the graveyard. Speed was a gift of being a vampire. I moved faster than his eyes could see, so I knew he wouldn't follow me. I hoped he wouldn't seek me out again, but I knew that he would. He wouldn't give up. A part of me was happy to see him again, but I knew that any proximity to me would only put him in danger. I couldn't bare it if anything happened to him because of me.

***

I breathed in the scent of honeysuckle and pine that hung thick in the air. I had always thought summers in Mississippi were hot and sticky, but now that I was a vampire I no longer noticed the heat or the cold. It was like having a body temperature regulator on all the time.

The air seemed to be alive with the lazy chirp...chirp...chirp of crickets while lightning bugs flashed their yellowish, green lights giving the night an eerie feel. Lightning bugs reminded me of a simpler time, when I was a child, catching them in my hand and watching their lights flash. I would release them and watch their lights flash on and off into the night.

The graveyard was part of the estate that sat on what is known as Langley Hill. The Langley family used to own all the land on and below the hill before they fell on hard times. Endora now owns the large house on the top of the hill known as the Langley House. The Langley House is a two story house with a large front porch and Greek style pillars. The dark blue shutters framed the large front widows. The lawns had gone into disarray in the ten years we had been gone. Endora didn't like to stay in one place too long.

As I walked up the hill I looked down towards the bottom where my house used to be. In its place was an eyesore of a house that was painted bright blue.

As a child I used to look up the hill at the Langley House. I had been afraid of that house because I thought some sort of monster lived in it. Little did I know I was right, and now I was one of the monsters. My room was on the second floor, which meant I had to scale the wall to enter through the window to avoid being caught by Endora.

"What happens if things don't go well tonight?" I stopped climbing when I heard the voice of Santino Vallario. Santino goes by the nickname Tino. He has two narrow gray eyes that remind me of two pieces of steel. His thick, straight, black hair is slicked back. The black pin striped suits he likes to wear showed off his tall, broad-shouldered build. His skin has a light tan that comes from his Italian background, not from the sun. Tino had been an enforcer for the mob in Chicago until he had fallen for Endora. He had adjusted to this new life a lot better than I had. I guess that a vampire clan was not much different than the mob.

I decided to sneak a look thru Endora's window. I hadn't been a rebellious teenager as a human and becoming a vampire hadn't changed that. I didn't know what would happen if I got caught, but curiosity got the better of me.

"Lily knows how important tonight is" Endora said. She was sitting at the small vanity absently gazing at her reflection. Tino was pacing aimlessly behind her.

"You could just let Castor have her. Then it could just be the two of us again, and you wouldn't have to worry so much" Tino slid a hand down Endora's back as if he had every right to.

"Stop" with that command Tino's hand jerked back as if it had a mind of its own. Tino's face showed his frustration. "You know how important Lily is to me. I can't just hand her over to Castor.

"Tell me how I can help" Tino said.

"I just want tonight to be perfect" she said.

"Don't worry, it will be" he said.

I crawled through the window I had left open and pushed my way thru the thick curtains. My room was right next to Endora's, and it was papered in a light dusty rose with thick, dark pink curtains that blocked out the sun. The comforter on the full sized bed was cream with pink roses. I hated pink, but Endora was convinced that any teenage girl would love such a girly room.

"Where were you?" I turned to find Tino waiting for me. Tino's steel gray eyes bore into me with a practiced glare. I didn't expect Tino to leave Endora's room so quickly. At least he hadn't caught me eavesdropping.

"I went for a walk. I'm allowed to go for walks" I reminded him.

"You should get dressed. I laid out clothes for you; it's a big night. Are you ready?" Tino motioned towards the bed and I saw clothes laid out there.

"If I said no would it matter" I asked.

"No" he said. I saw the clothes on the bed and I rolled my eyes. Tino had laid out black leather pants, a red sequin halter top, and black stilettos with red soles. Tino was not subtle. Giving Tino his way with little things like what I wear let him think he was in control of me.

"If you were a gentleman you would leave so I could change" I said.

"Don't worry, I won't look" he said. I fought the urge to roll my eyes again as he turned to face the window. "You're too boney for my liking" he said. I knew I didn't have to worry about Tino looking at me that way. Tino had been obsessed with Endora since she turned him. From what I could tell Endora didn't return his affections.

I put on the leather pants and the red top. Then I brushed my candy red hair until it shone. I might wear what Tino wanted me to wear, but I was going to take my time getting ready. I coated my eyelids with black eyeliner and used two coats of mascara. I coated my lips with red lip stain. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, but didn't recognize the image looking back at me. When I was human I had dark brown hair and barely wore any makeup, but now that I was a vampire I put the makeup on in layers and I had dyed my hair bright red. I didn't want to look the same because I wasn't the same. I was a ten year old vampire, but if I striped all the makeup and the bright hair away I would look the same as I did the day I died. I would never age or change.

"Well, how do I look?" I asked Tino even though I didn't care what he thought.

"I guess you'll do" he said.

CHAPTER 2

"You look beautiful" Endora was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. Endora had been turned during Victorian England, and she still held herself with the pose and grace of that era. Her hooded emerald eyes shown with approval; her pale blonde hair fell to her waist, undone as always. She was wearing a dress with a neckline that showed off her cleavage; I had never seen her wear pants. Like me she was young when she was turned into a vampire, but she had an elegance about her that gave her an ageless look.

"She does clean up nicely" Tino said taking a lock of my hair and running it thru his fingers. I wanted to pull away, but I knew that would only let him know he was getting to me. Instead, I smiled sweetly at him. Tino held on to his old fashioned views of women and Endora held on to her warped Victorian modesty. I wondered what I would hold on to after the world had changed from what I knew.

"Where are we going tonight" I asked after we all got into Tino's favorite black BMW. We would travel faster without the car, but Endora liked to arrive in style.

"Jackson" Tino said.

Jackson was where we went when Endora wanted to kill. If people started going missing in Laurel everyone would notice, but the much higher crime rate in Jackson would cover our tracks. Normally we didn't kill because killing draws attention, and we didn't need to kill to survive. Tonight would be different. Not only would someone be killed, but I knew I would be doing the killing.

Vampires didn't need to kill to survive, but it did serve as a vampire rite of passage, like a vampire bar mitzvah. Older vampires didn't accept a young vampire into their society until that first kill. Most young vampires made their first kill early on, but Endora hadn't seen the need for me to make a kill until recently.

Before I knew it, the car was pulling up to the curb in front of the dive bar that was a popular vampire hunting ground. "This is where you get out" Tino said when I hesitated.

"I hadn't realized that we were here" I said in a tone that I hoped sounded like I didn't care.

"Take your time" he added in a bored mocking tone. I stepped onto the curb and Tino peeled out as he drove off.

The bar was busy for a Tuesday night. There was a live band playing loudly in the background. I made my way to the bar; I can't drink alcohol, but it would look odd if I was in a bar and not drinking. I heard someone else order a vodka cranberry, so I ordered the same. It was a vibrant pink and I wondered what it would taste like. I wondered what it would feel like to be in this bar for fun and not for killing.

I scanned the room. The sooner I found an unsuspecting victim the sooner this night would be over. I tried not to think too hard about it. It wasn't like I had a choice. All I had to do was pick out a victim and kill them. In this world it was kill or be killed. I had always known this night would come, but I had hoped when it did I would be ready. I didn't feel ready. I wished I hadn't seen Matthias. I wished he hadn't made me remember a part of my human life that I wanted to forget. I wanted to forget that I was ever happy as a human.

Then I saw him watching me from across the bar. It was Matthias. I quickly looked away. When I looked back he was gone. I didn't know how he found me again. He couldn't be here; not tonight. Maybe I imagined him, I thought.

"Dance with me" the words fell on my ears like a caress. I turned and saw round warm brown eyes with specks of gold.

"That's not what I'm here for" I told him.

"I know, but that doesn't mean you can't have some fun" he said. I wondered if he knew I was here to kill someone. I wondered what he would think of me then. Would he still want to save me?

I knew I should move away, but I didn't want to. I wanted to dance with him. I wanted more than anything to be the girl I used to be one more time. But, maybe just for one song I could be that girl and let myself dance. With my choice made I turned and walked to the dance floor knowing that he would follow. I could feel the hard beat of the music radiate thru body. His hand lightly touched my waist as he pulled me closer into his embrace.

I had danced with men at this club before. I knew how to hint and tease just enough for them to follow me out to the alley behind club. Tino would make sure they left with a memory of a good time after we fed off them. I had yet to develop the skill of altering the memories of humans. Even if I did have the power to change memories it would be hard to give someone a memory of something I knew nothing about.

The hands moving on my hips brought me back to the moment and the man I was dancing with. I turned so that I was facing him. I wanted to run my hands thru his thick auburn hair, but I resigned myself the only resting my hands on his chest. He had always smelled of warmth with a subtle sweetness. As a human I had barely noticed it, but now the scent was overwhelming.

"I told you I didn't want to see you again" I said.

"Are you going to kill me now?" he asked with a smile. He wouldn't think it was funny if he knew why I was here.

"I haven't decided" I said. I should kill him though. He wasn't going to give up. I thought for a moment that I could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. I asked myself if I could kill him, but I knew the answer was no. I couldn't kill him, but if he didn't stop following me it wouldn't matter because Endora would kill him anyway.

"You don't have to do this" he whispered. He didn't know how deep the words cut. He just thought I was here to feed.

"Yes, I do" I said more to myself then Matthias. I did have to do this. I couldn't let him make me believe otherwise.

"You could come with me now; I can take you away" he said.

"Endora would just come after me, and you would get hurt in the process" I told him.

"I know of a place where she can't find you" he said.

"I can't" I said.

"Sooner or later you will go with me" he said.

"I still don't understand why you are doing this; I don't know why you care. Like you said, the girl you loved died. I'm just a vampire who looks like her" I told him. "I should be going..." I said not knowing why I was wasting time dancing when I had a job to do.

"I'll leave you as soon as you agree to meet me again" he gripped my arm lightly but firmly. I could have pulled away, but I would have made a scene and the last thing I wanted to do was draw attention.

"I can't" I said.

"Tomorrow night, two hours before sunrise in the graveyard, if you change your mind" he said.

"I won't" I said. I wanted to go with him, but I knew it would just end in pain for both of us. As much as I wanted to believe he was still in love with me I knew there had to be another reason. He released my arm and vanished as quickly as he had arrived..

I slowly made my way back to the bar. As I approached the bar, I saw a man sitting alone. I slid my glance towards him. He held my gaze long enough for me to see that he had large blue eyes that were as cold as ice. His coffee-colored hair was short and spikey. He had a thin, boyish build and a strong chin. He was wearing loose fitting jeans and a black t-shirt.

"Do you live around here?" I asked because out-of-towners made better victims.

"No, I'm just passing by on my way to the coast. I thought I would stop in here for a drink. I'm Blake; what's your name?" he smiled at me, and I wished he hadn't told me his name. I looked around the room and I knew he was the best target I was going to find. He was alone and from out of town which meant that no one would miss him for a few days. Endora and Tino would start to get worried if I waited any longer. I didn't have a choice, I reminded myself.

"Lily, so what's at the coast?" I asked, but I really didn't want to know. The less I knew about this man the better.

"Nothing really, just needed a break from life" he said. He was going to get more than a break, I thought.

"It's really loud in here. Do you want to go somewhere quiet? I know a place up the street with great pie" I said, and it wasn't a lie; the place up the street did have great pie. I wished I could take Blake for pie instead of killing him.

"Yeah, let's go" he said as he slid off the bar stool and turned to the front door.

"Let's go out the back way; people know me here and I don't want them to see me leave with strange man" I said with a smile. That was only a partial lie. The people here did know me, but since most of them knew this was a hunting ground for vampires they didn't ask questions. As long as they weren't the ones on the menu no one seemed to care.

"Lead the way" he said. I led him out the back door where Tino and Endora would be waiting for me.

Tino smiled when he saw Blake follow me into the alley. "What is this?" Blake asked backing out of the alley. He didn't make it far before Tino caught him. Tino was good at mind intrusion. and he used it to make Blake stop fighting him.

"You should feed first" he said as he pushed Blake towards Endora. Endora caught Blake he fell to the ground. Then she took him in her arms in a gesture that looked loving and motherly. I watched as Endora sank her sharp fangs into the soft flesh of Blake's neck. She was delicate even when she fed. As she raised her head from his neck, she gently licked the blood from her lips and looked as if nothing had happened.

"You're turn" Endora told Tino. I was thankful that Endora and Tino were draining most of his blood so that I wouldn't have to drink much to kill him. I was hoping Tino would drink too much and accidentally kill him so that I wouldn't have to. I knew I would have to kill, but now that the moment was here I just didn't want to do it. I reminded myself what Endora had said about my humanity leaving me. I would feel better and I wouldn't think about Matthias or my human life. All I had to do with kill a man who was dead anyway.

"It's time for you to finish him" I heard Endora say, and I realized the Tino had finished. The time was here.

I looked into Blake's blurry blue eyes, the results of Tino's mind intrusion. I turned his head to expose his neck as I relaxed my jaw to let my fangs drop. The soft flesh at his neck gave easily as the blood filled my mouth. It always surprised me how easily my fangs sank into soft flesh. I drank his sweet blood; I marveled at how easy it would be to drink every drop. Then I remembered his name "Blake"; someone had given him that name. Someone loved the man I was about to kill. I thought about Matthias. I thought about what he would think of me if I did this. I couldn't do it; I couldn't take his life. I pulled away from him. I knew Endora would not be happy, but in that moment I didn't care what happened to me. All I knew was that I couldn't take the life of this man.

"I can't..." I said in a voice so low I barely heard it.

Endora finished drinking the last of Blake's blood. As she let his lifeless body fall the ground, I wondered what it was all for. I hadn't killed him, but he had died anyway. Did it make anyone less dead if I didn't kill them? I asked myself. We drove back to Langley house in silence.

"Lily, maybe you should go to your room and I'll come up to talk to you later" Endora said once we arrived back at the Langley house. I felt like a naughty child being sent to their room, but if I was honest I did want to go up to my room.

Once inside my room I changed out of the tight, uncomfortable clothes and into my sweat pants and cotton tank. I took the silver brush from my vanity. Endora had given it to me when she turned me. I started to brush out the long red mass that was pretending to be my hair. Soon, I would crawl under the pink covers of my big canopy bed. I technically didn't need to sleep, but I still did it out of habit. It was nice to fade into oblivion once in a while.

I didn't know why Matthias wanted to me to go with him or where he thought he could take me to be safe. I wanted to believe that he could take me away, but I knew that I would never be free from Endora. This was my life now.

I had gone to the graveyard hoping to feel something, but I had felt more than I wanted. I didn't want to still have feelings for Matthias. I had thought that part of my life was over. I hadn't thought about Matthias for years, but now he was all I could think about. I knew I had to find a way to put him out of my mind. I had to focus on making my first kill.

"Can I come in?" Endora's sing song voice came from the door of my room.

"Yes" I wondered to myself what she would say if I didn't let her come in.

"I know tonight was hard, but you can't keep doing this" Endora said as she sat on the corner of my bed. "I know you haven't embraced this life, but you are suited to it in ways you don't yet understand." Endora gave me a look that reminded me that no matter how many centuries I lived everyone would always see me as a teenager. "You can't truly be one of us until you have made your first kill. You can't be a vampire and still cling to your humanity" Endora said.

"I know... I'm trying..." I said. I was trying. All I wanted to do was make my first kill. "I tried to kill that man, I wanted to, but..." I wanted to lose my humanity, and I had been ready to kill until I had seen Matthias. I cursed Matthias. I hated that I cared what he thought of me. I knew if I killed Blake I would change more than I already had, and then Matthias would hate me more than he already did. I was ready to kill. I wanted to kill. I wanted my humanity to leave so that I could be happy like Endora and Tino.

"You will need to try harder. Once Castor is here he will expect you to make a kill. I won't be able to protect you" she said. Castor was the vampire who had made Endora a vampire. We were back in Laurel to meet with Castor.

"Can't you just force me?" I asked. Endora held control over both Tino and I. I remembered the way Endora had forced Tino to stop touching her when I had watched them in her room. It would be so much easier to kill if it wasn't my choice, I thought. I knew that if it came to kill or be killed I would kill to save myself.

"The bond between a sire and a vampire has limits. If I were to use my power to force you to do something against who you are our bond would break. This is something you have to do on your own" she said.

"If you force me to kill then you'll break our bond?" I asked.

"Most likely not. In order for a bond to be broken I would have to ask you to do something that you would rather die than do. I don't think you would have chosen the life of that boy tonight over your own. I could have forced you to kill him, but the first kill is more than just the action of killing. You have to realize how fragile and pointless human life is" she said. I didn't think human life was pointless. I thought it was wonderful. I envied them; they got to die. Human's looked at their lives and saw decades of happiness; I looked at my life and saw centuries of pain and longing.

"I'll try" I said. I knew I couldn't tell Endora what I thought, but I didn't think I could see human life the way she wanted me to.

"One day you will have a victim in front of you and something in your nature will take over. It will be over before you even know it has happened".

"What was your first kill like?" I asked.

"It was a man I had known when I was human. He told me we were going to be married, but instead he ruined me by marrying someone else. My father found out about the affair and realized an unmarriageable daughter wasn't useful to him. He cast me out. Castor found me living on the streets. He saved me and he let me have my revenge on the man who jilted me" she said. "I didn't ask for this life anymore then you did, but now it is the only life I could ever want. I want you to have that feeling" she said. "Don't worry; I know you won't let me down again. Next time you will kill" Endora said. Her voice was reassuring, but the words told me that I didn't have any more time. I either made a kill or Castor killed me.

"Yes, I will" I said and I meant it. I was tired of being a vampire with humanity and I wanted it to end. "I want to make my first kill. I'm not sure what stopped me" I said.

"I know you won't let me down again" Endora said.

"Maybe it was because he told me his name" I said.

"Well, now that is the problem. Next time you feed off a human the only thing you should think about is how good they taste and let your instinct take over. Don't think about their name" she said. "Don't worry, everything will be fine. I'll take care of this" she said. "Oh, and tomorrow night I will need you to pick up a few things".

"A few things?" I asked.

"Some humans" she said. "Castor will need to be entertained" she said.

"And these humans, do they know that they are going to be the entertainment?" I asked and Endora smiled.

"I'm sure they think they are coming for a different type of entertainment" she said. "Try not to think about it too much. You are going to have to kill one of them, because if you don't, even I won't be able to help you" she said. "I'll let you rest now" she rose from the bed and left the room.

A soft thud took my attention from my thoughts. It came from my open window. I looked outside, and saw that the rain was still falling with a vengeance. Then I heard the soft meow. The cat was soaked to the bone and was shivering. I went to my bathroom and retrieved a towel to dry the cat. Once it was warm and dry, it curled up on my bed and purred. I had always had a soft spot for cats. My dad had been allergic so I'd never been able to have one as a pet.

I looked outside and noticed that the rain had slowed. It would be daylight soon. I closed the window and covered it with the heavy curtain used to keep the sunlight out. Then I curled into bed with the purring cat. I wished I could keep the cat. It's soft head burrowed into my chest. I wondered how this little creature could love so unconditionally. It was as if the cat knew I needed comforting, and he had showed up just in time.

CHAPTER 3

It was just before sunset when I woke up, if you could call it waking up. It was almost dark, and the cat was gone. He had probably gone home, I thought, and if he didn't have a home I hoped that he would find another safe place to spend the night. I quickly put on a pair of dark jeans and a blue tank top before going downstairs.

I found Tino looking completely at ease in one of Endora's horribly uncomfortable chairs. A slow smile spread across Tino's face when he saw me "Endora tells me you are going to pick up the entertainment".

"That's what she told me" I said.

"Here's the address. Tell them you are there for a pick up for Tino" he said as he handed me a slip of paper. "You should leave now so you can get back before sunrise" he said. I looked down at the slip of paper and noticed that it was in Mobile.

"Why so far?" I asked.

"Only the finest quality for Castor, you know that" he said.

"And quality comes from Mobile" I mocked.

"We do what we can" he mocked back.

"I should go" I said as I took the keys from the crystal ash tray on the table.

I walked out to the black BMW that was parked in the driveway. I wasn't looking forward to driving all night and having so much time to think about what would happen tomorrow night. I had only met Castor one other time.

It was right after I had become a vampire. Castor had wanted to meet the new addition. Castor had wanted me to make my first kill then, but Endora had told him it was better to wait. I was glad for her interference then, but now I wished I had made a kill back then.

There was something about Castor that unnerved me. I had never asked Endora who he was before he was a vampire; I didn't know if Endora even knew. It was in his eyes and the way he looked at me. The first time I met Castor I expected him to give me little more than a passing glance. Vampire elders normally didn't notice younger vampires, but Castor more than noticed me. It was hard to explain the way he looked at me; it was as if he was looking at someone else.

I drove for several hours until the GPS told me I was at the address Tino had given me. I looked at the GPS one more time before I could believe it. I sighed as I looked up at the sign that said 'Baby Dolls' with the silhouette of naked women painted on it.

I sighed again as I walked thru the double doors. The tackiness was oppressive and the music was too loud. I could barely see because the lighting was low with a yellow tint. The rest of the room, including the walls, was covered in red velvet. And then there were the girls. I realized that even though my sensibilities had changed over the last few years there were still things that shocked me. I had never seen so many nearly naked girls before. I wondered how they could be so free with their bodies. I didn't think I could ever walk around a room full of men in nothing but a thong. Then there were the men; I didn't want to think about the men at all. All I wanted to do was find the person in charge, get the girls, and go home.

"You must be Lily; you're even prettier than Tino said you were, but then Tino didn't say you were pretty" the voice came from a portly man dressed in all black. I knew the moment I saw him that he was the man in charge. I also knew that he was a vampire, but looking about at the humans around him no one else did. He gave me a conspiratorial look that silently told me not to tell his secret; not that anyone here would believe me if I told them that their boss was a vampire.

"I've got a long drive back" I said.

"Of course" the vampire said. "You have the payment I was promised?" he asked. I handed him the white envelop Tino had given me, and he put it in the inside pocket of his jacket. Then he led me into the back room.

"This is Jane" he said as he pointed. She looked like she was in her early twenties. She had pale blonde hair that was curled to perfection. Her hooded, deep blue eyes were framed with dark lashes. She was wearing a pair of black, skinny jeans, and a low cut black lace top with a thin red ribbon tied around her waist. Then he showed me Candy, Brigit, and Vanessa; all were blondes and all of them were pretty. Castor would love them. I loaded the four girls into the BMW. All of the girls except for Jane fell asleep soon after I started driving back to Laurel.

"So what kind of party is this?" Jane asked.

"It's just a normal party" I hoped I didn't sound nervous. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to tell her. "So how long have you been a...?" I attempted to change the subject. I wished Jane would have gone to sleep like the rest of the girls.

"An entertainer?" she finished my question. "Not long. The money is good, but the hours suck" she said.

Jane continued to talk the rest of the way to the house. I tried to tune her out by turning on the radio, but that just made her talk louder. When we finally arrived back at the house, I couldn't wait to get out of the car.

"She's pretty" Tino said to me as I walk into the Langley house behind Jane, and I knew he meant Jane; she was just his type.

"Pretty annoying" I said.

"You sound jealous" Tino said. I glared at him.

"I'm not jealous" I said.

"Wow, this place is beautiful. It must be amazing to live here" one of the girls said as she looked around the room with apparent wonder. I tried to see the house though her eyes, but all I could see when I looked at the room was a gilded cage.

"Yes, it's like a dream. Isn't that right Lily" Tino said, and I forced myself to smile and nod at him.

Endora choose that moment to walk down the stairs. I watched as all the eyes in the room turned to look at her. Endora had an other-worldly quality that made her the center of attention in any room she walked into.

"Good, you're back. Are these the girls?" Endora asked.

"Yes, these are the girls" I said as Endora looked over the girls.

"They'll do. Show them to the room in the basement" Endora said. "I'm going to rest for the remainder of the night, and I suggest you all rest as well. Castor's party will be here at midnight tomorrow" Endora turned to climb the stairs to her room and Tino followed her.

I showed the girls to the set of non-descript rooms in the basement. The rooms were only used when we had humans in residence. Endora didn't like the party snacks to sleep upstairs.

"So this Castor guy is the one ya'll are throwing this party for" Jane said.

"Yeah, he's a good friend of Endora, and she wants to make sure he has a good time" I said.

"And what is Endora to you?" she asked.

"You ask too many questions" I said.

"Yeah, I get that a lot" she said.

"You should get some sleep" I told her. They didn't know it, but I locked the basement door behind me. We couldn't have the guests escaping.

I climbed the stairs to my room, and I sighed when I opened the door to the pink room. It wasn't much, but at least it was one place in this world that was mine. Once I was inside my pink room, I stripped off my clothes, like stripping off everything that had happened that night. I stepped into a steaming hot shower, and I scrubbed my flesh until I felt like I had washed the whole night down the drain. I stepped out of the shower into a big fluffy towel. Then I changed into my favorite pajamas and crawled into bed.

Every time I closed my eyes all I could think about was Matthias. I didn't know why he wanted me to come with him or where he wanted to take me, but I wasn't going to let myself hope that he could give me a better life.

With Matthias on my mind, I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep. The whole house would be closed up for the day so I wouldn't have to worry about the sun. I walked down the hall to the stairs, deciding to take a walk through the house and let my thoughts wander. I'm not sure how far I had walked, but I was brought back to reality as I heard a crash in what Tino called the training room. Tino said that you never knew when a war between the vampire clans was going to break out, but the last vampire war happened in the early 1800's. I was inclined to believe that vampires had risen above the need for wars. Tino said that it meant we were due for war soon. I think Tino was hoping for a war.

I stood in the doorway of the training room and saw Tino practicing with a wooden sword. We used wooden swords because it was the only weapon that could kill a vampire. I watched Tino for a while. For someone who was used to killing with a gun, Tino had acclimated to using a sword very well.

"Couldn't sleep?" Tino asked when he noticed me standing in the doorway.

"No" I said.

"Well, since you are here you might as well train with me" he handed me a wooden sword. I didn't like to train, but after the night I'd had I thought that maybe a fight with Tino was just what I needed. I picked up one of the wooden swords and turned it over in my hand.

Tino swung his wooden sword in a large circle that framed his body. It was a challenge that I could not ignore. I mimicked the sword movement. Then he struck. The blow would have decapitated me had I had not blocked it. Becoming a vampire had its advantages, like extra strength and lighting fast reflexes. But even with my vampire strength, I was never a match for Tino, and he knew it. He was playing with me, and I would let him. I wanted to get in every blow I could before he tired of the game.

One of my blows had more power behind it then I expected. Tino looked at me in surprise when it knocked him to the ground. I felt something new rage through me. It felt cold and empty. It made me forget where I was and I hesitated just long enough for Tino to trip me. Then I felt the pain of his sword as it pierced me just below my heart. He twisted the sword till it broke inside me. I cried out in pain and fell to my knees.

I could feel my organs being ripped apart as I felt the wood splinter inside me. Vampires heal very fast except when wooden splinters are in the wound. The pain had been the worst pain I had ever experienced. I could feel my organs trying in vain to put themselves back together.

"I got a little carried away" Tino said.

"A little carried away" I yelled back at him. I tried to stand, but the pain was too much, and I fell back onto my knees.

"Don't worry, I'll get Endora. She will know what to do" he said as he left me alone in the training room. He returned with an angry looking Endora.

"Damn it, Tino, of all of the times. How could you do this?" Endora yelled as she knelt beside me on the floor. "Lily dear, I'm going to have to get the pieces of wood out of you, and it is going to hurt". Endora and Tino moved me from the floor of the training room to a couch in the main room. I had to lay still as Endora cut me open in ways that would have killed me if I was still alive. She had to use a sharp, wooden knife.

"You're lucky none of the splinters got in your heart" Endora said. Any wood in my heart would have killed me instantly. It made me think that even though vampires were technically immortal we could still be killed. "Of all the stupid things that the two of you could to do the night before Castor's visit".

I knew that letting Tino goat me into a fight was a mistake, but then I seemed to be making a lot of mistakes lately. I wondered where that power had come from. I had fought with Tino before, but I had never come so close to beating him. I could have beaten him, and it scared me. I didn't know where this power came from, but I knew I didn't want it. I flinched as Endora removed the last splinter. I felt my body close its wounds and heal.

I climbed the stairs to my room. After showering I put on a pair of dark jeans and a pink cotton cami that I covered with a black sweater that wrapped around and tied into a bow at my waist. I dried my long, candy red hair. I overly applied the dark eye shadow and then red lip stain to complete the look. I thought the dark eyes and red lips would make me look more dangerous, but I just looked like a little girl playing in her mother's makeup.

CHAPTER 4

When I returned to the main sitting room everyone else had already come down. I noticed Tino first. He was wearing one of his Italian pinstriped suits. He looked me over and gave me a disapproving look. I didn't expect him to approve. I knew that Tino and Endora would expect me to wear a tight fitted dress, but I thought there was going to be enough stress tonight, and I just wanted to wear jeans. Endora, of course, had to make her grand entrance, walking down the grand stairs in her customary long, flowing white dress.

"Where are the girls?" Endora asked as she reached the bottom of the staircase.

"They are still getting ready" I said.

"Don't you think you should go check on them?" Endora said. "Once they are ready bring them up here" Endora said as I turned to go down to the basement. The moment my feet hit the stairs to the basement I heard the sound of soft feminine laughter. I tried not to think about the fact that all of these girls would die tonight. I stopped in the middle of the stairway and just listened to their meaningless chatter. I wished with all my non-beating heart that I was one of them. Even though they were going to die tonight, at least that would be the end for them. They wouldn't have to live this half-life, straddling the line between life and death.

To get though tonight I would have think like a vampire and not like a human. The life of these girls was short and insignificant compared to the life of a vampire. Their deaths would be as insignificant as their lives had been.

After tonight I wouldn't think about them again. They would be dead and I would lose what was left of my humanity. When I was a human I never noticed my humanity, but now that I was a vampire I could feel it like a living thing inside me. I could hear it telling me that everything I am is evil, and I should have died in that fire.

I walked the rest of the way down the stairs, and I saw Jane and the other girls. They all looked prettier than I thought I could ever look. They were wearing small, lacy underwear in different colors. One was wearing all black with a hot pink ribbon running thru both the bra and panties, one was wearing white trimmed in lime green lace, and another was wearing electric blue. Jane was wearing a full red buster, a black, lacy thong and fish net thigh highs. As I looked at the girls in their bright colors, the thought crossed my mind that they looked like cupcakes.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"We are ready whenever you are" Jane said.

"They're ready for you upstairs" I said.

"Whatever you say" she said with a small smile and hooded eyes. I turned my back to her and led the four girls up the stairs. Once we were upstairs, I watched as Tino used his mind intrusion on the girls.

Castor and his entourage arrived at midnight. Castor's entourage consisted of two vampires, one male and one female. They were both young and attractive looking, but then I wouldn't expect anything less. Castor always surrounded himself with youth and beauty. No one would ever describe Castor as being attractive. The only way I could describe the way Castor looks is rough. I had no idea how old he was, but he looked like had had a hard life before becoming a vampire, and maybe he had even had a hard life after. Like most vampires, his skin was pale, but it looked like it had once been ravaged by the sun. His eyes were dark and penetrating. His hair fell around his face in distinct disarray.

The female vampire with Castor had long, dark hair and round, soft dark eyes; her skin was the most tan I'd ever seen on a vampire. I guessed she was of Latin descent. I couldn't help but notice the way her hand was subtlety touching Castor's arm; I also noticed that, though Castor didn't pull away from her touch, he didn't reciprocate it.

The male vampire was shorter than both Castor and Tino, but more muscular than both. His skin was almost as pale as mine, and his hair was so blond it was almost white; I found myself staring at his hair and wondering if he dyed it that color. But, it was his face that really made me want to stare; his strong jaw and high cheek bones made him look masculine and feminine at the same time.

"Castor, it has been too long" Endora said in the sing song voice that only she could do.

"She hasn't made a kill yet" Castor said.

"We wanted to wait till you were here and make it special" Endora lied.

"We should get on with it then" Castor looked over at the girls. "Personally, I prefer a time when girls left more to imagination, but these will serve the purpose" he said.

"This one looks like she could serve more than one purpose for me" the male vampire with Castor said as he pulled Jane close to him. He kissed her right there is front of everyone. I felt embarrassed and wanted to look away, but I was mesmerized by such an intimate sight happening in such a public place. I noticed that everyone else was also looking at the two embracing.

The male vampire held Jane in a way that molded her body to his. Jane didn't appear to be fighting, but she wasn't embracing him back. It was like she was just letting the kiss happen. Suddenly, the male vampire evaporated into dust. I blinked, thinking my eyes were deceiving me, but I still saw the small pile of dust on the floor in front of Jane. As Jane turned around, I noticed the wooden stake that she held tightly in her right hand. I realized that she had killed the male vampire, but it didn't make sense. She had been under mind intrusion, and Tino was the best at mind intrusion.

The female vampire with Castor rushed at Jane. She grabbed Jane by the hair and pulled her head back. The female vampire's fangs shown off the light from the chandler as she bent her head to Jane's neck. Then Jane spun around in the vampire's grasp, and plunged the stake deep into her heart. The female vampire turned to dust before she even knew what was happening.

"Which one of you wants to be next?" Jane asked.

"You are not going to be able to take on all of us" Castor said. "Why don't you be a good girl and put the stake down and I'll make your death quick" Castor said.

"If I'm dead anyway, I plan on taking you with me" Jane said to Castor.

"Jane, you don't want to do this" I said as I slowly walked towards her. I was hoping that Jane wouldn't want to hurt me, but I stopped walking towards her when I saw her tighten her grip on the stake.

"Don't tell me what I want or don't want, you're not better than the rest of them. You just think you're better" she said. "You should be different, you know. They said you would be, but you aren't different" she said. I had no idea what she was talking about. I wasn't different; I was just a vampire.

"Jane, I know you don't want to die" I said.

"I'm already dead, but at least I'm not the only one who is going to die. I plan on taking as many of you with me as I can" she said as she motioned towards the stake she still held in her right fist.

"I just want to know where you hid that stake" Tino said in his lazy voice.

"Come over here and I'll show you" Jane said.

"Tempting" Tino said. I had to admit that Jane had guts. I knew that when I was a human I never would have been able to stand up to four vampires. In fact, I don't think I would have the guts to stand up the four vampires now. I admired her even though I knew she was going to die. No human stood a chance against a vampire. The only reason she had been able to kill the first two vampires was because they weren't expecting her to fight. Jane knew she wouldn't be able to hold them off for very long, yet she wouldn't go down without a fight.

I still didn't understand how Jane had resisted Tino's mind intrusion. I had to stop myself from smiling because the only good part of this situation was that I knew it was driving Tino crazy. Tino was even better than Endora at mind intrusion; it was his one source of pride. I had never seen anyone come out of Tino's mind intrusion.

"Jane, just put the stake down" I said.

"I'm putting the stake down" Jane's voice was playful, and it made me question if she meant what she said. To my surprise, Jane opened her both her hands and displayed her palms for the room to see, letting the stake she held drop to the floor. Tino rushed towards Jane; then suddenly I saw Tino fall to his knees with a wooden stake pointing out from his left shoulder. Tino pulled the stake out of his shoulder with a yell of pain.

"She has another stake" I said in disbelief. It was one thing for her to sneak in one stake, but it would have been impossible for her to sneak in two.

"She's a land witch" Castor yelled in surprise. I stared at Jane. I had heard of witches that could control the land and everything that grew from it, but I never thought I would meet one. Land witches, along with all other witches, had been hunted to extinction, or so I had been told. Witches' powers were passed down thru the generations. A witch's power centered around one of the four elements. Land and fire witches were the two most feared by vampires as wood and fire were the two elements that could kill a vampire.

"All of you are abominations against nature, and you have to be destroyed" she said.

"Jane, you don't want to do this" I told her. I didn't feel the stake go in, but I did feel the cold surge of power. I looked down to see the stake lodged into my chest. I pulled the stake from my chest and I felt like the life had been drained from me. I needed blood. Jane was staring at me. Before she could put another stake in me I sank my fangs into Jane's neck and drank deeply. Jane's blood was different than any other blood I had ever tasted; her blood was rich and sweet. All I had to do was drink just a little more and she would be dead. For the first time since becoming a vampire I didn't want to stop feeding; I wanted to drink every last drop of Jane's blood. She would have killed me without a second thought. Jane had said herself that she was already dead. If I didn't kill her one of the other vampires in the room would kill her.

"Stop, the queen would want her alive. She will want to make an example of her" Castor said. I made myself stop feeding from Jane, and I let her go limp against me. I could feel her blood filling every part of my body. Her blood made my head feel like it was spinning and, it made my body feel strong and more alive than I have ever felt.

"Let's not let these unfortunate events spoil what should be a lovely evening" Endora said. "Besides, we still have these three lovely entrées to enjoy" Endora motioned at the other three girls that had come with Jane.

"Yes, we should go on with the meeting" Castor said as he reached for one of the girls. He turned her head so that her perfect sun tanned neck was exposed. I looked into her blank eyes, and I wished that I was her. She would never know the pain of dying, and it would be over before she even realized what was happening.

"Lily, take Jane down to the basement and lock her in chains" Endora said. "Tino, you should feed so you will heal" she said, and I watched Tino bite into another of the girls.

I lifted Jane over my shoulder and carried her down to the basement. I laid Jane down on one of the beds. I had taken enough blood from her that she would be weak for a while. I did my best to lock the chains around her so that when she woke up she wouldn't be too uncomfortable, but I knew I had to make sure that the chains would hold her. Once I was done locking up Jane I started back up the stairs, but I stopped when I heard Endora and Castor talking.

"We never did talk about why you are here" Endora said.

"The Queen wants her; I can't give you any more time" Castor said.

"She's not ready" Endora said.

"Whose fault is that?" Castor said. "After what I just saw I'd say her powers are developing and your bond with her is hanging by a thread".

"I can't force her. You know if I push too hard I will lose the bond we have. Don't forget about the potential she has" Endora said.

"Potential that will be wasted if she is not controllable" Castor said. "If she is not controlled she will become dangerous".

"I have her under control" Endora said.

"For now" Castor said. "What happens when she discovers what she is?" Castor asked. "What happens if she discovers how to use her powers?" he asked.

"That won't happen" Endora said. "What happened tonight was a fluke. You just have to give me more time" she said.

"I don't have more time to give you" Castor said. "The Queen wants to meet her, and not even I can defy the Queen" he said. I waited until I heard both Castor and Endora go up to their rooms before I went up to mine.

I wondered about what I had overheard Castor say. I had always known that Endora wanted to control me, but I didn't understand what she meant about my having potential or what Castor meant about me being dangerous. Never would I have thought I would hear someone call me dangerous.

I wondered why someone as powerful as Castor would be afraid of me. I wasn't a threat to anyone. I couldn't even make a kill. I looked at myself in the mirror and I tried to see myself under the makeup and clothes that didn't feel like me. It didn't matter how long I looked in the mirror, I couldn't see the girl I used to be. It wasn't just the clothes or the makeup, it was me. It was in my eyes; they were the same color and they looked the same, but they were cold and unfeeling. There was nothing I could do to change them back.

I looked deep into the green eyes that I inherited from my father. I desperately wanted to see something in those eyes that would remind me of the person that I used to be. This life had taken everything that I used to be and still it wanted more. It wanted something I didn't think I could give. It wanted the very last shred of humanity that was left inside me.

If I could just give into the darkness then maybe it wouldn't hurt as much. Maybe I could feel like Tino and Endora and maybe I wouldn't care anymore. I just wanted to feel the way I used to feel. I didn't want to embrace the darkness, but I didn't have a choice.

I cursed Jane. If it weren't for her I would have given in to the darkness and killed one of the other girls by now. I had been prepared to kill before her assault distracted me. I blamed her for making me stop and think about the kill. She had said that I was no different from the other vampires in the room, and she had been right; but I didn't want to be like the other vampires. I didn't want to kill anyone. I wanted to be the person I used to be. I wanted to be the girl with friends whose only worry was whether or not someone would ask me to the prom.

It wasn't like I was making a difference by not killing. Every one of those girls died, and it didn't matter if I killed them or not. If I didn't make a kill soon, Endora would have no choice but to put a stake in my heart.

I don't know why, but just then I thought about Matthias and his promise to take me away. I laughed at the thought. Did he really think he could save me from this life? He apparently had never dealt with vampires. No vampire could ever be free from their masters, and if their master died the blood bond would just be passed to another vampire.

I only managed to put Matthias out of my mind by thinking about the meeting with the Queen. I always knew that if I lived as a vampire long enough I would have to meet the Queen, but I had hoped that it wouldn't be for a long time. From what I knew about the Queen she was not to be taken lightly. She had taken control of the vampire council during World War I, and she was not well liked.

I needed to understand what potential Endora and Castor thought I possessed, and I needed to understand what Castor had said about me discovering what I am. I didn't understand why I was so important to both Endora and Matthias. There was more to this story that I didn't know. I had to find out what everyone else seemed to know. What was I? I wondered. I felt like Matthias knew more than he had told me. Even though I knew I shouldn't go meet him I had to go. I had to know what he knew.

CHAPTER 5

It was just after the sun had set, and the sky was still glowing a bright pink from the rays of the sun. I liked looking at the sky just after sunset. This red and pink light was the only glimpse of sun light had I would ever see. It was a reminder that the sun still existed even if I couldn't see it. I'd had pale skin even as a human, and I spent a lot of time hiding from the sun. I wished I could go back to that time. I would bathe myself in sunlight every chance I got. No one could explain what it was like to never see the sun. It was like there was no happiness in the world; there was only darkness, and the monsters lived in the darkness.

The graveyard was quiet except for the rhythmic chirping of nocturnal insects and the gentle swaying of leafs in the wind. I could still leave and he would never know. But, I had to know what I was, and what he and Endora wanted from me. I couldn't go to the Queen without knowing what I was.

"I knew you would come" I saw Matthias leaning against the trunk of a tree as I walked deeper into the graveyard.

"Nothing has changed, I'm still not going with you" I said.

"Then why did you come?" he asked.

"I need you to tell me what I am, and why you are here" I told him.

"I can't tell you that" he said.

"Can't or won't?" I asked.

"I can't tell you, but if you come with me I'll show you what you are" he said. "I'll show you a different life" he said. "You weren't meant for this life. You were meant for more" he said.

"It doesn't matter what life I was meant for, this is the life I have, and you can't change that. You can't change what I am" I told him. "I need to know what I am before I go before the Queen" I told him.

"No, you can't go before the Queen" he said.

"We're leaving tonight. I need to know what I am before I go" I told him.

"No" he said. "You can't go there. You can't go anywhere near her" he said.

"I don't have a choice" I said.

"You can come with me" he said.

"We would never be safe. We would always be running from Endora. That's not a life I want for you" I said.

"There's an Island" he said. "No one will find us there. You will be safe there" he said. "Please just come with me".

"I..." he was kissing me then. His lips were full and soft as they moved over my own lips. Before I knew what was happening, I was kissing him. Kissing him was a familiar action. Years ago we had kissed often; but this was different. We were different. We weren't wide-eyed teenagers anymore. There was a passion in that kiss that hadn't been there before. I would have done anything to make that kiss last forever. I would have done anything to be with him now. I wanted him and nothing else mattered.

"You're going to come with me now, if I have to drag you kicking a screaming" he said. I was tempted to watch him try.

"Yes" was all I could say and it was enough. I didn't know if we would make it to this Island, but going with Matthias was the best chance I had at finding out what I was. Endora's wrath was a risk I had to take.

CHAPTER 6

"We don't have a lot of time, and if you want to know what you are we need to go see someone" he said.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"There is only one person who can show you who you are" he said.

"I thought we were going to the Island" I said.

"We will, but first I promised you that I would show you what you are" he said. I thought about asking more questions, but I got the impression that I wasn't getting any more information out of him.

I caught myself watching Matthias as he drove. I was confused about how I felt about him. I barely knew who he was now. He could be completely different from the Matthias I knew ten years ago. I also didn't know what his motivations were and that made him dangerous. He said he worked for an organization that could keep me safe on their Island.

I didn't want him to catch me watching him, so I turned away to look out the window. He claimed that he could save me. It was tempting to believe everything that he told me, but I knew that it would only make it harder for me when it turned out to be false. When Endora found us and killed him I would be heartbroken, but I had to try. I knew he wasn't just going to stop trying. He had said he would die trying, but I hoped that wouldn't happen. I just hoped that when Endora found us Matthias would be spared.

I knew that nothing good could come from what I was feeling. There were only two possible outcomes. I could fall in love with Matthias, he would not feel the same way about me, and I would have my heart broken. Or, he could feel the same way and I would have to go back to Endora and spend the rest of my unnaturally long life missing him.

Matthias wasn't kidding about the long drive. The clock on the dash of the old Ford truck that Matthias drove didn't work, but I guessed that we had been driving for over an hour before Matthias brought the truck to a stop in front of a street lined with small shops.

"Fortunes Told Here" I read with just a touch of sarcasm as we approached the shop.

"She only pretends to be a fake fortune teller, but she is really has the sight" Matthias told me.

"So you feel the need to see the future?" I asked.

"She doesn't only see the future. She sees everything that a person is, was, and will be" he said as we walked into the fortune teller's shop. The first thing I noticed as was the sweet heavy fragrance of incense. Heavy dark blue curtains covered the walls giving the room an otherworldly quality. Across the room there was a doorframe laced with beads that fell in a curtain to the floor. There was a sign on the second beaded curtain that stated the fortune teller was with a client. Matthias sat down on the blue velvet couch in the waiting room as if he had been in the shop often, and I sat down next to him.

I looked up when I heard the sound of the beaded curtain being opened. A young woman left the fortune teller's shop with a worried look on her face. I thought that whatever the fortune teller had told her couldn't have been good. I wondered how she ever made any money if she always told her clients the truth. People didn't go to fortune tellers for the truth; they went for the pretty lies about how their lives will turn out ok.

"I only take one customer at a time, and its twenty dollars for a reading" a tall, thin middle aged woman dressed in blue silk scarfs said as she walked across the waiting room.

"She is the one here for a reading" Matthias said. "She needs to know what she is".

"She is a vampire, and I don't read vampires" she said.

"You know she is more than a vampire" Matthias said.

"I know that she could be more, but right now she is only a vampire" she said. "I can show her what she could be, but it is going to cost you".

"I assumed as much; you can take your usual fee" he said.

"For this I want more" she said.

"No, you're not getting more" Matthias said.

"I want twice my usual amount. That's my price. If you are not willing to pay then leave and stop wasting my time" she said.

"What does she want?" I asked.

"The same thing you take from humans; his life force" she said.

"You want his blood?" I asked and she made a disgusted face.

"Drinking blood is such a crude way of transferring life force" she said.

"Won't you die if she takes your life force?" I asked.

"My life force will replenishes itself. I'll pay your price" he said.

"Can you take my life force?" I asked. The fortune teller laughed.

"You aren't alive, so you don't have a life force. If you had your own life force you wouldn't need to drink blood" she said.

"Just get it over with" Matthias said. She put her right hand just inches from his chest over his heart. Then she rolled her head in a small circle and closed her eyes. Matthias gripped my arm as I felt his body slack as his life force was being drawn from him. When she was done I felt more than heard him take a steadying breath.

"How long will it take you to replenish?" I asked.

"Not long" he said thru a strained voice. "Show her" he said to the fortune teller.

"Come with me" she turned to walk to the back room where she met with clients. I reluctantly followed her into the small candle lit room that held only a small table and two chairs. The fortune teller sat in one of the chairs and she motioned for me to sit in the other. She rested her hands on the table with her palms up. "We have to be touching" she said as she motioned for me to put my hands on top of hers. She didn't look like she wanted to touch me. I felt her flinch as our hands touched, but then I felt the power radiating from her.

I felt the weight of waves crashing against me. I tried to call out, but the weight grew constant as I felt something pulling me down. As a vampire I didn't need to breathe, but it was still an impulse my body did not like being taken away. I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper into the water until I was standing on the ocean floor.

I felt the waves the creatures left in their wake before I saw them. I call them creatures because I have never seen anything like them. They were some type of fish with long bodies and curves like a woman. They looked like they were playing a game that I didn't understand the rules to. I watched them play until I saw her.

She was so still I could barely see her, but now she was looking at me with a deep gaze that bore into me. She sat on what looked to be a throne. She looked more human than the fish creatures, but she had a fish tail that was covered with gleaming scales. We didn't speak a word. She just looked at me, but that look said more than words ever could. She was a part of me, and I was a part of her. Then I felt her telling me that I didn't belong here. I was part of her, but I didn't belong with her. Just as suddenly as I had traveled to the ocean floor I was back in the small room with the fortune teller.

"What am I?" I asked.

"You're a vampire" she said.

"Everyone else seems to think I'm more" I asked.

"You were meant to be the descendant of the Water Elemental, but now you are a vampire and you can't be both. You are choosing to be a vampire" she said.

"I don't want to be a vampire. How do I chose to not be a vampire?" I asked.

"You believe you are just a vampire so you are just a vampire" she said.

"How do I believe something that is not true?" I asked.

"You have to accept that what you believe to be true is only true because you believe it to be" she said. "I'm tired, leave me now". I walked out of the small room to find Matthias sitting in the same spot I left him in. He looked weak. He said that he could replenish his life force, but I wondered how long it would take. He had given of himself so that I could know what I am. But, I still didn't know what or who I was. The fortune teller had said that I would be a vampire until I believed I was something else, but I didn't know how to do that. I didn't know how to be anything but a vampire.

"So now you know what you are?" Matthias said.

"I'm just a vampire" I said.

"You're the descendant of the Water Elemental" he said.

"She said I couldn't be both a vampire and the descendant of the Water Elemental" I said.

"You're being a vampire is unfortunate, but it doesn't negate what you are" he said.

CHAPTER 7

As Matthias and I left the fortune teller shop, a circle of flames leaped up around us. "Fire witches" Matthias said.

"What do they want?" I asked.

"My guess would be to kill you as they've never been fans of the Water Elemental" he said. "Now would be a good time to use your water powers" Matthias told me.

"I don't have powers" I told him.

"Well, now would be a good time to figure it out" he told me. Then I saw the witch. His skin seemed to glow with a fire that burned from within. He stared at me, and I felt as if his stare would burn me to the spot.

"He only wants to talk" the man said.

"We don't want to talk" Matthias said.

"Did you think he would just let you take her?" the man asked.

I put out my hands and thought about water, but nothing happened. I tried pushing energy into my hands, but again nothing happened. A slow smile spread across the man's tan face just before he shot a fireball at my head. My reflexes were fast and I should have been able to move out of the way before the fireball hit me, but my body felt like it was rooted to the ground. I felt the heat of the fire, but then a coldness filled me. It felt like something inside me burst. I looked down at my hands, but they weren't there. I realized that my body was just a mist; then as quick as it happened, it was over and my body was solid again. I looked at the man who was no longer smiling. In fact, he was looking at me the way I would imagine any normal person would look after seeing someone dissolve into mist then reform. It felt good to have been the one to erase that smile from his face.

"How did you do that?" he asked.

"I'm not sure" I said as his smile returned. I could still feel the water flowing thru me like waves crashing against the beach. I closed my eyes and felt the water flow from my head to my toes then back again. I waited until the water was flowing up from my toes before I put out my hands hoping that I could make the water shot from my hands, but that's not what happened. Instead, the water dripped from my hands, forming a pool at my feet.

"That would be really scary if I was afraid of a puddle" the man said.

"Lily, use the mist" Matthias said.

"I don't know how it works" I told him.

"Try running towards him" he said.

"What, are you crazy?" I asked him.

"Just do it" he said. The man sent another fireball at my head, and my body was again transformed into mist. I did what Matthias said. I ran towards the man as fast as I could, which was pretty fast since I'm a vampire. I wasn't sure what was going to happen when I hit the man, but what happened was more than I could have imagined. Once I enveloped him in the mist, I could feel the heat rolling off of him. Then I heard him yell out in pain. I forced the mist to become colder and colder until he collapsed onto the pavement. I moved away from him and reformed.

"How did you know that would work?" I asked Matthias.

"I didn't, but your powers seem to work differently since you are a vampire so I thought it was worth a try" he said.

"You thought it was worth a try" I repeated.

"It worked didn't it" he said.

"And what if it hadn't worked?" I asked.

"But it did work" he said. "We have to go; he won't be out for long".

"Why do the fire witches want me dead?" I asked Matthias when we were back in the truck. "When are you going to tell me what is going on?"

"The fire witches don't need much of an excuse for a fight, and they hate water witches. You are not only a water witch, but a direct descendant of the Water Elemental. No Elemental has had a child in almost a century" he said.

"The water woman the fortune teller showed me is my mother" I said.

"Yes, she is" he said. All my life I had wondered about my mother, and now I knew the truth. My mother was a mythical creature who either didn't care I existed or was incapable of being a mother to me. It wasn't like I thought I would meet my mother one day and we would become best friends. Maybe I had that fantasy when I was a child, but now that I was a vampire I hadn't thought about my mother at all.

"How much do you know about witches?" He asked.

"The four clans can each summon one of the four elements of nature" I said.

"That's all you know?" he asked.

"They don't like vampires" I said.

"Witches are the offspring of what we call elementals" he said. "There are only four elementals, one for each season, and back in their hay day they each sired many children with humans. These first generation witches were more powerful than the witches around today. The first generation witches saw that their offspring couldn't control their powers, causing many great natural disasters. The elementals retreated into their realms and were not heard of until your mother surfaced and lived with your father for one year. This one year was long enough for her to give birth to you" he said. "You are a first generation water witch" he said. "Becoming a vampire masked the powers from you, but now that you have found them there is the chance that they will overwhelm you. You may not be able to control them" he said. "That's why it is important for me to get you to the Island" he said.

"And I will be able to control my powers on this Island?" I asked him. It was good to finally know his motives. He didn't care about saving me, he just wanted to isolate me on this Island so that I couldn't hurt anyone. He thought I was dangerous.

"You won't have to worry about your powers on the Island" he said.

"If first generation witches were so dangerous why would my mother risk creating me?" I asked.

"We don't know" he said.

"Who's we?" I asked.

"I'm part of a Brotherhood sworn to protect the world from those who would harm it" he said.

"You want to protect the world from me" I said.

"Just the powers that you can't control" he said.

"The powers are a part of me" I said.

"No, they're not" he said, and I didn't argue with him. It didn't matter; we would never get to the Island. Endora would find me, and I would go back to just being a vampire. I would control my water powers. I had lived my entire life without using these powers, and I would never use them again. I didn't worry about the water powers controlling me. I worried about Endora controlling me. I now knew what Endora and Castor meant by me having potential. I imagined that Endora had thought I would be unstoppable and destroy all her enemies. I didn't know what she would do when she found out that I wasn't unstoppable, and that I wouldn't use my powers for her, but then I didn't care. The worst she could do was kill me, and I should have been dead ten years ago. I didn't fear death because I was already dead.

"So where are we going?" I asked.

"We are going to visit my family before we go to the Island" he said.

***

The sound of a shotgun made me jump. Matthias had driven for the rest of the day to get to Lake Charles. "Maybe you should wait in the car" Matthias told me.

"It's not like a gun can hurt me" I said.

"Just wait in the car" Matthias said.

"No" I said. I was done taking orders. All I had done for ten years was take orders from Endora.

"Matthias!" a young pretty woman in her mid-twenties came running from the house. She wrapped her arms around Matthias's neck.

"It's good to see you too Megan" Matthias hugged the woman back.

"Are you...?" the woman trailed off. I wondered who this woman was to him. I hadn't seen Matthias in ten years. I realized then that he could have a girlfriend or even a wife or kids. Why would he have kissed me if he had a wife?, I thought, but then he wouldn't be the first husband to kiss another woman.

"I can only stay the night" Matthias told her. I guessed that he knew what she was asking without her saying it. I didn't want to admit it, but I was feeling jealous of this woman that Matthias was clearly close to. I shouldn't feel this way. Matthias had not been mine for ten years. I shouldn't care who she was to Matthias, but I did anyway.

"Megan, this is Lily" Matthias said. "Megan is married to my cousin Bryce" Matthias told me as if he had read my mind.

"She's a vampire" Megan said.

"She is also a water witch" Matthias said as that would make a difference, but the look on Megan's face said that it didn't.

"Gran is not going to like this" Megan said.

"I know, but I didn't have a choice" Matthias said.

"Well, come on in" Megan said with a too sweet southern accent as she turned to walk in to the small, run down house behind Matthias. Matthias nodded at me as if to say it was safe, and I sent him a questioning look that he only smiled at. I realized how mistrustful I had become since becoming a vampire. The house looked run down and ignored from the outside, but the inside was warm and inviting.

"Where are Bryce and Lucas?" Matthias asked Megan.

"They went hunting" she gave Matthias a look, and he gave her a look back, like they had some kind of understanding they didn't want me to know about. "Gran is in back" she said. There was another gun shot. "Shooting" she said.

"That sounds like Gran" Matthias said.

"Gran, Matthias is here and he brought a guest" Megan said as she leaned out of the back door.

"Guest? What guest?" An elderly woman walked into the kitchen through the back door. Matthias hugged her the moment he saw her. The top of her head only came to his shoulders and was covered in curly powder blue hair. She wore a dark blue dress and the lenses of her glasses were tinted light blue.

"Gran, this is Lily" Matthias said. "Lily, this is Nola, my grandmother" Matthias said.

"She's a vampire" the old woman said as she glared at me.

"She'll behave herself. I'm taking her to the Island" Matthias said. I saw a small smile cross her lips before it disappeared into the lines in her face.

"I don't like this" she said.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to see you. We can go" Matthias said.

"Has she fed?" she asked, and Matthias looked at me as if he was remembering what I was. To be truthful, I think I had forgotten that I needed to feed. It had been three nights since I had fed. I could maybe go one more night, but then the urge was going to become too powerful to control.

"No, but we will take care of that soon" Matthias said.

"Take her into town, feed her, and then you can stay here. I'm tired. I'm going up to bed" Nola said. "She stays down here" she motioned towards me.

"I'll help you Gran" Megan said as she took Nola's arm and helped her up the stairs.

"What aren't you telling me about the Brotherhood?" I asked Matthias when Nola and Megan had disappeared up the stairs.

"I told you that the Brotherhood is a secret society that protects the world against those that would harm it, but what I didn't tell you is they believe that all supernaturals want to harm the world. They have hunted down witches, werewolves, and more, almost to extinction" he said.

"If they are so bad then why did you join?" I asked.

"I was born into it" Matthias told me. "My mother left the Island when she was a teenager in search of a better life. She found my father. They were married and I was born soon after. My mother's father was one of the founding members of the Brotherhood. He swore an oath that bound not only him, but every male in his bloodline to the Brotherhood. When I turned eighteen the bound in my blood was activated. They found me and took me to the Island. Once you are in the Brotherhood you can't leave" he said. "The only time I've left the Island since then is when they send me out on missions. I've been on a lot of missions, and every time I try to visit Gran if only for a night. She is the only family I have left" he said.

"I thought I'd make some tea" Megan said as she carried a tray with a kettle, tea cups, and frosted sugar cookies from the kitchen. I hadn't heard her come down, but then again I hadn't been paying attention.

"Thank you Megan" Matthias smiled fondly at Megan. The tea was hot and had the soothing smell of chamomile. I took a cup out of politeness even though Matthias and Megan knew I would not drink it. Megan seemed to be one of those southern women who were polite to a fault. She smiled at me like she didn't know I was a vampire, and it was nice to forget that I was different from everyone else; that I was a monster. I smiled back at Megan.

"Ya'll must be tired after driving so far" Megan said. "Matthias, you can have your usual room and Lily you can..." Megan broke off.

"It's ok, I don't sleep so I'll be fine down here" I said.

"Come on, I'll take you to town. You can feed there" Matthias asked after touching my arm. If I had enough blood in my system I would have blushed. Just when I was feeling normal Matthias had to remind me that I was a vampire.

"I should go to bed" Megan said, and I realized that talk of me feeding made her uncomfortable. I couldn't blame her, if I was a human I wouldn't want to be in the same room as a hungry vampire.

"You should sleep too. You don't have to come with me" I told Matthias.

"You need to feed; I'm going with you" he said.

"Don't you trust me?" I asked.

"You don't know the area, I can help you" he said.

"I don't want you to see me feeding" I told him.

"Then I won't look, but I'm coming with you" he said.

"But, you really need to sleep" I said.

"Then you should hurry" he said.

CHAPTER 8

We drove until we found a small dive bar. Matthias walked in a minute after I did so that no one would think we were there together. The seat I chose was at the end of the bar where I would have the best view of the other patrons. Matthias sat at a table in the corner of the bar as far from me as the small room would allow. I could feel his eyes on me. I knew I needed to hurry so he could get some sleep. I wished he hadn't come with me; I wished I didn't have to feed, but wishing didn't change anything.

Just then a man sat down in the stool next to me. "What's a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this" the man said. He looked like he was in his early to mid-thirties, but it was hard to tell with the thick blond beard. He wasn't the victim I usually went for, but he would do.

"Just looking for a little fun" I said.

"I've got a rig outside; we could have some fun in there" the man said.

"Sounds perfect" I smiled. It was perfect. Better the back of a rig then in a dark alley.

"After you" he said. I stood and walked towards the door with his hand on my back leading me. I wanted to move away from the man, but I needed this. The funny thing was that the man thought he was in control.

The man's rig was purple with flames painted on it. The inside was littered with fast food cartons. I sat on the bed and he sat next to me. "My name is..."

"I don't need to know your name" I interrupted him. I didn't need to remember his name for years to come.

"Just thought you might want to get to know each other" he ran a hand up my arm and I felt revulsion well up inside me.

"No" I just wanted to get this over with. I took his head in my hands and forced him down on the bed with me on top of him. I turned his head as I felt my canines lengthen to their full size. I sank my teeth into the soft skin above his pulse points. He cried out for a moment before the pheromones took effect and sent his mind to what Tino called the "happy place". Then the blood from his veins filled my mouth. I drank quickly and I took as much as he could spare before I withdrew my teeth and kissed the twin wounds to make them heal instantly. Vampires didn't need to kill. In fact, the pheromones and the healing agent in our saliva made it very easy for us to not kill. It was the Queen who had decreed that every vampire had to kill. Killing seemed to shut off the part of our brains that still made us human. I imagined that it made us easier to control.

I left the man to sleep it off, the pheromones and his mind would make up a desirable memory. As I left I wondered how many humans had memories of a romantic encounter that was actually an encounter with a vampire. I saw that Matthias was waiting for me in the car when I climbed out of the rig.

"That didn't take long" Matthias said as I took the passenger's seat in the car.

"It never does" I wished he would let me drive so he could get some sleep, he looked like he was about to drop, but I knew after what he had just seen me do he needed to drive. We didn't speak for the rest of the trip back to his grandmother's house. I let myself revel in the warm glowing feeling that a feeding always gave me. We arrived back at the house late into the morning.

"Can I trust you to stay down here?" Matthias asked mockingly.

"I'm not going anywhere" I told him. He nodded before he went up to his room to sleep. I couldn't have slept if I had needed to. Then I heard footsteps on the stairs. I smelled her before I saw her.

"Oh, I forgot you were down here" Megan said. She looked beautiful in her blue silk night gown and robe.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" I asked.

"Probably, but I can't sleep. I was going to make some chamomile tea. Would you like some?" she asked.

"Thank you for offering, but I can't..." I trailed off.

"Oh, sorry I forgot" she said. "Would you keep me company?" she asked. "Sure" I said and I followed her into the kitchen.

"I've never met a vampire before" she said.

"Are you afraid of me?" I asked.

"Should I be?" she asked.

"Probably" I said.

"You fed on someone tonight?" she asked.

"Yes I did" I said.

"What's it like being a vampire? Feeding on people?" she asked.

"Messy" I said.

"Right" she said.

"What's it like being pregnant?" I asked.

"How did you know?" she asked.

"Your blood flow increases when you're pregnant. I can smell it" I told her.

"Oh, I haven't even told Bryce" she said.

"I won't say anything" I said.

"So what do I smell like?" She asked.

"Sweet, like vanilla" I said. I left the fact that the smell made me look at her like a cupcake. "Probably means it's a girl".

"A girl... I always wanted a girl" she smiled.

"Me too" I said. Before I'd become a vampire I had dreamed of having a little girl. I had even thought of names, but that didn't matter anymore.

"Can you...?" She asked.

"No, I can't have children" I let that statement set in.

"Oh, that's kind of sad. But you get to live forever" she said.

"No one lives forever" I said. "I don't think Matthias or your Gran would want you to talk to me" I said.

"I'm not a child, I do what I want" she said. "I find you interesting. You look so young, yet your eyes seem old" she said. "I want to know everything about you".

"What do you want to know first?" I asked. It was nice to talk to someone who didn't hate me because of what I was.

"How did you become a vampire?" She asked.

"A vampire named Endora saved me from a fire by turning me into a vampire" I told her.

"But, if you can control water why couldn't you just put out the fire?" she asked.

"I didn't know about my powers then" I told her.

"But, they were still there so you would think it would have been a reflex or something" she said, and she had a good point. I wondered why my powers didn't work the night of the fire. I tried to remember what had happened that night, but all I could remember was the heat and the screaming. The next thing I remembered was waking up with Endora standing over me.

"I don't remember much about that night" I told her.

"Endora, the one who made you a vampire, do you like her?" She asked.

"She has been nice to me" I said.

"But you ran away from her" she said.

"Matthias is taking me to the Island because I'm dangerous" I told her.

"You don't look dangerous" she said.

"I am" I told her.

"You just look like a teenage girl" she said. "How old are you?" she asked

"I was seventeen when I was turned" I said.

"Do you ever wish that you weren't a vampire?" she asked.

"If I weren't a vampire then I would be dead" I said.

"Is there anything you like about being a vampire?" she asked.

"The not having to sleep doesn't suck, but you should get some sleep" I said.

"Yes, I guess I should" she said.

***

I smelled the sunrise and waited for the slow drain of strength and energy that always came, but this morning it didn't come. I didn't think this could be real, but for some reason the sun wasn't affecting me the way it used to. I walked to the window and opened the curtain, letting the direct morning light land on my face, but it didn't burn. I didn't feel the need to overt my eyes.

I had not been able to withstand direct morning light since becoming a vampire. I had never been a morning person as a human, and I had regretted every missed sunrise since. I had to see how far I could take this. I opened the front door and felt the sun's warm light. I walked out onto the pouch and looked up at the roof. I took a breath that I didn't need and walked straight out into the light of the sun. That's when I felt the heat.

The heat threatened to burn me as I looked back at the pouch and wished I had never left its protective cover. Then I felt a coldness that started in my core and traveled thru my limbs and out my hands. Then my entire body changed to mist and became solid again, but now I didn't feel the heat of the sun. All I felt was cold water flowing thru me. I opened my hands and watched the water gush from my palms like one of those small garden fountains.

"Lily, what are you doing?" I heard Matthias yell from the pouch.

"Her water powers negate the sun's powers against her" I heard Nola say.

"I can stand in full sunlight without it burning" I said more to myself than anyone else. Ten years without a sunrise and now I could watch every sunrise for eternity. I closed my eyes and tipped my head back to feel the full light of the sun on my face.

"Since you can be in sunlight now we can leave after breakfast" Matthias said.

"I can stand in full sunlight" I told him as if he should understand that was all I could think about. For ten years I had lived without the sun. I couldn't explain how it felt to stand in the early morning sunlight.

"I know" he said.

"No, you don't" I told him.

"This means a lot to you" he said.

"Ten years without a morning" I said. A smile crossed his face.

"You need to come in" he said.

"Just a minute longer" I said.

"You have eternity" he said, and he was right. I never had to miss another sunrise. I followed Matthias back into the house where I instantly smelled bacon and eggs cooking. "My cousins got in this morning" he told me.

The house was full of a happy togetherness that I hadn't felt since becoming a vampire. Being a vampire was all about power plays and mind games. I found the whole family breakfast to be wholesome and comforting. I didn't realize how much I missed being human.

"Who's the vampire?" asked one of two men sitting at the kitchen table. He had big brown eyes that sparkled with the light of a smile that didn't quite reach the rest of his face.

"The better question is why is she here?" the other man at the table asked. The second man had dark, narrow eyes that felt like they were boring into me. His thin lips drew a hard line on his face. I wondered if he got headaches from clinching his jaw.

"She's my guest. I'm taking her to the Island" Matthias said. I wished everyone would stop putting labels on me. It was like I wasn't a person anymore. I was a vampire, but I wished I could just be Lily again.

"Well, I guess Gran is letting anyone into the house now. Next, we'll be inviting the Queen over for tea" the man with the dark narrow eyes said.

"These are my cousin's Bryce" Matthias pointed to the man with the happy eyes, then to the man with the dark eyes "and Lucas". Megan was sitting next to Bryce and she was looking at him as if he was her whole world. There was so much love in those small eyes. I wished I could know what that felt like, but I was not destined for love or happiness. I had accepted that, but now seeing it like this was bring up feelings I didn't want to feel.

I did my best to push the unwanted feelings out of my mind as I took a seat at the table. Matthias sat next to Nola who was at the head of the table. I looked at the empty plate in front of me; I was grateful no one bothered to pass me any food because that would have been awkward. Matthias's family shared stories and laughed at inside jokes. I tried not to pay too close attention to the happiness around me because I knew it would only remind me of the family I had lost.

After everyone was done eating, I tried to help Nola and Megan clean up, but Nola only gave me a hard look that told me I was not welcome in her kitchen. I conceded the kitchen to Nola and walked into the living room where Bryce and Lucas had found a ball game to watch.

I walked out the front door and sat on the porch swing. The swing was one of those wooden benches that were hung from the ceiling. There was no padding, but I didn't need it. I held onto the chain as I rocked back and forth. I smelled the warm sweet scent before I heard Matthias come out from the house. He sat next to me on the swing.

"So what happens now?" I asked.

"We go to the Island" he said.

"Then what?" I asked.

"Then we will be at the Island" he said.

"Then all our problems will dissolve." I said.

"You will understand once we are on the Island" he said.

"Where were your cousins?" I asked. The fact that I hadn't heard them come in the night before was still bothering me. There wasn't much that my vampire senses missed.

"They were hunting" he said.

"What can you hunt in summer?" I asked. My dad had gone deer hunting every winter.

"Anything they can find" he seemed to not understand the question.

"But it's not hunting season" I said.

"They don't pay attention to hunting laws" he said with a smile. "We should get going. The sooner we get to the Island the better" he said. As we walked towards his truck I noticed that he was carrying a black duffel bag. I watched him he load it into the bed of his truck as I took a seat on the passenger side. We were driving for about an hour before I noticed that we were headed north.

"If we are going to an Island shouldn't we being heading towards water?" I asked.

"The Island is on another plane. The only way to get there is thru a portal. The closest portal is in Jackson" he said.

"What do you mean it is on another plane?" I asked.

"The Island doesn't exist in this world. That's how we are going to escape from Endora. Only someone with a blood bond to the Island can let someone in or out of the Island" he said. We drove for another hour. Then I noticed that Matthias was headed for the Jackson airport.

"I thought we were taking a portal? Not getting on a plane" I said.

"The portal is at the airport" he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Can you think of a better place?" he asked. I couldn't, but then I had never thought about where to put a portal to another plane before. Matthias parked the truck in long term parking. He told me the portal was in the men's bathroom at the airport. I guessed they didn't have a lot of women coming and going from the Island. "I hope you don't mind what people will think" he said as he led me into a stall.

"It's not like it's my first time in a men's room" I said and he laughed. Once we were in the stall he shut the door. Then everything was dark and the air was cold. I felt goose bumps forming on my arms and I rubbed them to keep them warm. Then I realized that I was cold. I hadn't felt cold since becoming a vampire. My scenes felt dull. I took a breath and felt the air fill my lungs. I put my hand to my chest and felt the familiar thud...thud...thud...

"My heart is beating and I'm cold" I told Matthias, expecting him to be as shocked as I was. He just smiled at me.

"This place exists outside of the supernatural. You aren't a vampire here" he said as he pulled out a black robe from his duffel bag and wrapped it around my shoulders. I held it tight and took the warmth it offered.

"Our leader will want to meet you" he said. The portal had brought us somewhere outside. Without my vampire senses I couldn't tell what time of night it was, but I knew by the height of the moon that it had to be late. I followed Matthias as we climbed up a hill and thru a stone city until he stopped in front of a small building with a guard in front of it. I watched as Matthias spoke to the guard. "...then wake him up" was all I heard of what Matthias said to the guard. Then the guard left., presumably to wake up whoever Matthias had told him to. I followed Matthias into the small building. We let ourselves into the small office. Matthias eyed the small chair on the opposite side of the desk.

"You can sit there, but I wouldn't" he said. I didn't sit. We both turned as we heard the door open. A man who looked like he was barely in his thirties walked thru the door. He reminded me of a caged tiger.

"I'm Father Caligari, I've waited so long to meet you" he said.

"I'm Lily Culpepper" I said. Even though I was sure he already knew my name, I didn't know what else to say. "What happens now?" I asked. The words just fell from my lips. It was a simple question, but the answer to it would decide the fate of the rest of my life.

"You'll live here" he said.

"Forever?" I asked.

"I'm afraid you're not going to be able to leave ever" he didn't even look at me when he said this. "We will make some more permanent arrangements for you".

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"There is a small house on an isolated part of the island. You can make a good life for yourself here" he said.

"As for tonight, I'm sure we can find something for you" he said.

"She can stay with me tonight" Matthias said. Caligari raised a brow, but didn't say anything.

"Very well, and as for you Matthias, I'm a man of my word, you will have your payment. You're bond will be broken after you leave the Island" he said.

"I thought..." Matthias trailed off.

"You can't stay on the Island without your blood bond. You will need to leave tomorrow" Caligari said. "Now, if you will excuse me I would like to get back to bed". I followed Matthias to a small cold room that I assumed was his room. It was furnished with a nice twin bed in the corner, a chest, and a desk and chair.

"So, that's why you brought me here" I said. "It was the only way you could be free".

"That's not the only reason. You'll be safe here" he said.

"And you'll be gone" I said.

"I didn't know I would have to leave" he said.

"What happens if you stay?" I asked.

"Then my life will continue to belong to the Brotherhood" he said. I knew what it was like to live a life that wasn't your own and I couldn't ask that of him.

"Lily, if I could..." I thought I had given up on a life with Matthias a long time ago, but now hearing the words from his own mouth hurt more than anything I'd ever experienced. It was like my heart was falling, but the rest of my body was staying still.

"No, you should leave. You should be free to live your life" I told him.

He closed the gap between us. I ran my hands up his chest, letting them rest on his shoulders. We just stood there looking at each other, waiting. Maybe we were waiting for the moment to be right, or maybe we were waiting for the moment to pass, but it didn't. When his lips touched mine the flame inside me became a full blown fire.

"What happens now?" I asked.

"Now we get some sleep. You take the bed. I'll sleep on the floor" he said, and I wanted to tell him that I wasn't tired so that we could have more time until I realized how tired I was. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be tired.

CHAPTER 9

I slept well for the first time in ten years. I woke with the faint memory of a sweet dream in my mind. Through my small window I saw that the day was blazing with late morning sun. I rose from the small bed and winced when my feet hit the cold wooden floor. I was going to have to start wearing socks. I looked over to where Matthias had slept, but he wasn't there. My heart sank. I knew he had to leave, but I had hoped he would say goodbye. I wondered if the last few days had meant anything to him, or if he had just done everything so that he could be free from the blood bond with the Brotherhood.

I turned when I heard the door open. Then I saw Matthias's smiling face as he walked into the room. My heart skipped at the sight of him. He hadn't left yet; I would at least get to say good bye. My heart sank again at the thought of saying good bye to Matthias.

"You missed breakfast, but I saved you something. I remember you used to like these" he said as he held out a large bright red apple. I stared at it and tried to remember what it would taste like; I remembered that I used to eat apples, but it seemed like a different life. I took the apple from his hand. I savored the crisp tartness as I bit into the waxy skin. When I looked up I saw that Matthias's smile had widened.

"How is it?" he asked.

"Amazing" I said in-between bites. Nothing had ever tasted as good as that apple.

"Aren't you supposed to be gone?" I asked.

"I have to leave tonight, but today I'm taking you to the beach" he said. I followed him out of my room and into the cool morning; we didn't have to walk far till we were standing on the rocks watching the clear blue waves crash against the white sands. Matthias smiled at me and held out his hand. I took his hand and savored the warmth I felt. It was odd to be able to feel the warmth of skin and the chill in the air.

As we climbed down the rocks to the beach I slipped, and I would have fallen hard onto the rocks if Matthias hadn't been there to catch me. I laughed; human reflexes were just one more thing I was going to have to get used to again. Matthias looked at me like I was going crazy, but then he laughed.

"I guess I'll have to get used to walking as a human again" I said.

"It's a good thing I'm here to catch you" he said. I smiled; it felt good to not be alone, to know that there was someone to catch me when I fell. After today I would be alone, and there wouldn't be anyone to catch me.

When we were back on the beach I watched as Matthias removed his shoes, and I did the same. The sand enveloped my feet in its soft, warm embrace. I closed my eyes and wiggled my toes in the sand. When I opened my eyes I saw Matthias staring at me. His face didn't wear the same smug grin that it usually did. In its place was sadness.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"I wish things could have been different with us. I can't imagine what your life has been like" he said.

"Worrying about the past doesn't change it. What happened to us happened, and there is nothing we can do about it, but you can let me enjoy this day" I said. The last thing I wanted to think about today was the last ten years, and I didn't want Matthias's pity. I shot him a smile before turning to run into the ocean. The cool waves felt good under the hot sun. I let the waves submerge and wash over me. Then I felt a hand pulling me out of the water.

"You're not immortal anymore. You have to be more careful" he said. Then I splashed him in the face. I didn't mean for it to be that high, but the look on his face made me laugh. Then he splashed me back even harder. I smiled and raised my hand to splash him back, but before my hand touched the water a wall of water raised itself between us. I looked at my hands and raised them even higher. The wall mimicked my movements. I lowered my hands hoping that the wall would fall back into the ocean. The wall did fall to the ocean, but first it fell on Matthias and knocked him flat on his butt. I covered my gasp with my hand as I gave him a hand to help him up.

"I didn't mean to do that" I told him.

"Sure you didn't" he said with doubt in his voice.

"I promise; I didn't" I said, and we both laughed. I didn't even notice that I was in his arms until his lips were on mine. His lips were soft and firm on mine, and I felt a warm ache start in my core. I felt his hand stroke the back of my neck and a shiver ran down my spine. Then I felt his lips leave mine to kiss a trail down to the base of my neck. The tips of his fingers made a trail up and down my arms. He led me back up to the beach and then down onto the waiting blanket. We laid on the beach quietly, long enough for the sun to move just slightly west.

"Do you remember senior skip day?" he asked me. I hadn't thought of that day for a long time.

"How could I forget the first time I saw the beach. We drove to the Gulf and walked on the beach" I told him.

"I thought vampires forgot their human lives" he said.

"We do, but it takes time and people or things can trigger memories" I said.

"So one day you would have forgotten me" he said.

"Yes" I said. He didn't know how close I had come to forgetting. "But now that I'm here..." I trailed off. Now that I was here I wouldn't forget about him. I wouldn't become the monster that I could have become.

"Yeah, now that you're here..." he said. Matthias had brought me to this beautiful place where I could be human. He had given me this wonderful new life, but it didn't mean anything if he wasn't in it. He had made me human again, but he was taking away the only reason I wanted to be human.

"But we have today" I said. I chose not to think about tomorrow. I chose not to think about how I was going to live as a human, knowing that I would never see Matthias again. When I was a vampire there seemed like there was always hope that I would see him again, but now I knew that I would have a life without him.

"Yes, we have today" he said then he took my hand and together we ran into the ocean, letting the waves crash against our bodies. I noticed how our bodies just seemed to fit together like they were made for the other. I tried not to think about the fact that this would be our last day together. This would be the only chance I had to feel the warmth his body lent mine as he held me. This would be the last time I would feel the stubble on his cheek as his face nuzzled mine. This would be the last time I kissed the spot next to his ear lobe, and the last time I would hear the resulting groan that escaped his lips.

Then his lips were on mine. His lips moved with my lips in a dance that was older than time. His kiss filled me with a warmth that I thought I would never feel again. My body felt heavy, but my head was light. I felt like he was anchoring me to the ground and floating into the heavens with me at the same time. I wanted to be closer to him; I needed to be closer to him. I wanted to stay in this moment forever. I would remember this feeling for the rest of my life. I would cherish this memory every day of my life.

CHAPTER 10

I woke up to the sounds of crashing waves and realized that I must have drifted off. The sun had moved lower in the sky, threatening to end my last day with Matthias. Matthias was still sleeping next to me. The weight of his arm gave me a comfort I couldn't understand, but it also filled me with sadness because I knew I would never feel this way again. I would do anything to make this never end.

Then I heard something like a voice calling to me from the water. It was like the water itself was calling to me and I couldn't resist. I walked out into the waves, hesitating when I felt the chill of the water penetrate my skin all the way to my bones; but the call was too much to resist. I kept walking until the I was completely submerged in the water. I wasn't used to the feeling of powerlessness that I felt as the waves took me deeper and deeper under the water. I realized that without my vampire powers I should be drowning, but I wasn't. It was as if the ocean was giving me just enough air to breath.

They saw me before I saw them; they were all beautiful young women with hair to their waists. Then I noticed that they were all naked. The one I had first seen made a motion with her head as if she wanted me to follow her. I copied her movements as she took me even deeper under the ocean. The other women followed behind us. I could feel the pressure of the ocean bearing down on me as we swam deeper and deeper. Just when I thought I couldn't go any deeper we came to a cave. The woman I had been following stood on the ledge of the cave and motioned for me to go on without her. I stopped and looked at her wondering if she would follow me into the cave. She shook her head as if she understood my thoughts.

The cave was dark and without my vampire sight I was completely blind. I had to feel the cave wall to know where I was going. I was beginning to think that this was madness, but what could I do now. I just had to keep walking. The woman had to have led me here for a reason. I just hoped it wasn't so that I could die.

Just when I was about to turn back I started to see faint shadows. They started as just gray flashes, but then I saw the streaks of light. I walked faster and the light grew brighter the farther into the cave I went. I realized that I was no longer in the water, but had walked into a pocket of air. I found that the light was coming from a fire.

The fire was lit in an ornate hearth in the center of a large room. In front of the hearth was a woman lounging on a velvet covered couch. She was intently watching the flames dance in the hearth as if she had been there for hundreds of years just waiting for me to find her.

"Come and sit with me in front of the fire so I can see what you look like" she said. Her voice was like honey, it was sweet and it clung to the air. As I came closer I saw that her skin was pale and looked as if it would be cold to the touch. Her hair was a warm chocolate brown, and it hung in loose curls around her heart shaped face. Her eyes were the palest green I had ever seen. I sat on the couch opposite from the woman.

"I thought you would be prettier" she said once she got a good look at me.

"I'm sorry..." I didn't know what else to say.

"Oh well... I suppose there is only so much bloodlines can do, and it's not as if you're ugly, I just thought you would be...well... I guess that's not important" she said. "I see you found the Island" she said.

"Who are you?" I asked. It sounded rude even as I asked it, but I did want to know and she didn't seem to be volunteering the information.

"You already know who I am" she said.

"You're my mother" I said.

"Yes".

"I saw you when I was with the fortune teller, but you looked different" I said.

"You saw me thru her eyes so you saw what she imaged me to look like" she said. "This is the first and last time you will ever see me, but I had to warn you that you can't stay on the Island".

"But the Brotherhood says it is the only way" I said.

"Of course they did" she said. "Those idiots will never understand destiny" she said. "You can't hide from what you are. You have a destiny and you have to find it. All that waits for you there is death" she said.

"The Brotherhood told me I could have a normal life" I told her.

"They lied to you. They aren't going to risk keeping you a alive. They are planning to kill you" she said.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Caligari is my grandson and your nephew" she said. "His mother was one of my descendants, the last descendant before you. She died because she couldn't control the power and she took Caligari's father and his sister with her. Caligari is not going to risk letting you live" she said.

"If descendants are so dangerous why would you risk making another one?" I asked.

"I made you because you are different" she said.

"How am I different?" I asked.

"You just are" she said. "Now go."

"But where will I go?" I asked more to myself than to her. For a day I had believed that I could have a normal life, but now my mother was telling me that I had to give up this life. She was telling me that I had to risk the destruction of the world or let the Brotherhood kill me. Maybe this world would be better off without me. Maybe I should just let the Brotherhood kill me. It wasn't the first time I had thought that death was the better option. I wished that this day had never existed, that I had never been allowed to see the life I was giving up. It had been easier when I hadn't known what was taken from me.

"Once you leave you will find your way. I wish you could have had a real mother who would have taken care of you and given you advice, but all I can do for you is to tell you to leave the Island. Don't try to find this place again because you won't be able to" she said. Her tone made it clear that our conversation was over. I stood from the couch and walked to the opening of the cave. I was suddenly emerged in water again. I looked back, but the opening to the cave was gone. I swam to the surface alone. Apparently the water women had better things to do.

I walked back up to the beach to find Matthias waiting for me. I wanted to see his lazy half grin that I hated, but his face was far from happy. There was sadness in his eyes that I didn't want to see. I didn't want to remember him this way. I only wanted to think of him as being happy. I didn't want to remember this moment. I didn't even want this moment to happen, but I knew that I didn't have a choice. I couldn't have had last night without having today. I couldn't have had the sweetness of that one perfect day without the bitterness of goodbye. Even though I would not be staying on the Island I could still never be with Matthias. Our lives would be too different. Once I left the Island I would be a vampire again. I knew Matthias wouldn't be with me as a vampire.

"You should just leave now. I think it will be easier" I told him. "I don't want to say goodbye".

"If that's what you want" he said. I felt a wealth of emotion welling up inside me. I wanted to make the feelings stop. I wanted to not care that I would never see Matthias again. I didn't want to think about what was going to happen the moment I left the Island. I just wanted to enjoy the last moments I would ever have with Matthias.

"I love you" it was the first and only time I would ever say those words.

"I love you too" he caressed my cheek as he brushed a lock of my hair from my face. I felt the feelings welling up again, but I managed to push them down. He pressed his lips hard against mine and I savored the touch. I drank in the sweet taste of his lips. I wanted to remember this feeling forever.

"I've wanted my freedom for so long, but now all I want is you" he said.

"You have to go and be with your family" I told him.

"You'll be safe here. Promise me you'll stay here. Promise me you will make a life for yourself here, and that you will forget about me" he said.

"I promise" I lied. How could I tell him the truth? How could I tell him that I would never be safe? I couldn't tell him that I would never have the happy life I wanted. He would have a good life. He would be with his family again. He would find someone else, someone who made him happy. All I ever wanted was for him to be happy, and I knew that I would never make him happy. he needed to find someone else to make him happy.

"I have to leave now. I won't say goodbye, but I am going to kiss you one more time" he said. I lost myself in that last kiss. I lost myself in the way he molded his body to mine; in the way that our lips just knew what the other wanted. I wanted to stay lost forever, but all too soon I felt him pull away. I wanted to resist; I wanted to hold him there, but I wouldn't do that because I knew that would only make it harder for him to leave.

Once he pulled away my mind began to resister where I was again. The portal that would take him to the freedom he had always wanted was a few paces behind us. He picked up the bag I hadn't noticed he had been carrying. Just before he left he looked back at me and shot me a lazy half grin, and I almost cried. He was giving me the one thing I wanted. He was giving me a good last memory and I would give him the same; so I held back the tears that threatened to fall, and I gave him the biggest smile I could muster. He knew I was faking it, but it didn't matter as this last look was all we would ever have. I watched as he disappeared thru the thin veil of the portal.

I felt the weight of a hand on my shoulder. Normally this feeling would give me comfort, but it didn't this time. I knew the hand belonged to Caligari before I turned to look at him.

"I need you to come to my office so we can discuss your place on the Island" he said.

"What is my place here?" I asked.

"I'd prefer to talk in my office".

"I'd prefer not to die".

"I wanted to do this quietly, but if you want to do this here we can do this here" he said. I noticed that Caligari was not alone. There were two large looking members of the Brotherhood behind him. Two days ago I wouldn't have been afraid of three humans, but now I was realizing how small and frail I was as a human. I had wanted this, to be human again, but I didn't want to feel this helpless. For the first time I wanted to be a vampire again. I wanted to feel the power I felt as a vampire. I didn't want this to be the way it ended for me.

"You don't have to do this" I told him.

"You have to understand" he said. "It's not that I want to kill you".

"Then don't, just let me stay here on the Island" I said.

"I can't risk anyone getting hurt because I didn't do what needed to be done" he said. "You're not the only water descendant out there. Several years ago there was a water descendant who lost control and killed many people, one of which was my mother. Don't worry, I'll make it as quick and painless as I can. That's more than my mother got" he said. "Just turn around and look at the ocean. It will be over soon" I noticed the gun in his palm, and I felt chill down my spine. I used to think that if I couldn't be human I would rather be dead, but now I was rethinking that opinion. I looked pass Caligari and into the thin veil of the portal that would take me back to the world that I knew. I could run for it, but I would never make it. All I could do was what Caligari said and spend my last moments looking at the ocean.

I was tired of fighting and there was nothing I could do. I was just a frail human. This is what I wanted. I heard the gunshot and waited for the pain, but it didn't come. For a moment I thought Caligari was right. I thought he had given me a painless death. I thought that the afterlife looked just like the beach on the Island.

I heard a second gun shot. Then I realized that I was still on the Island. I turned and saw that the two brothers with Caligari were lying face down in the sand. Matthias was standing over the fallen men with a gun pointed at Caligari. Caligari was pointing the gun he held at Matthias. I wondered why Matthias would come back. He could have had everything he ever wanted, but now he had a gun pointed at his head.

"You're not part of this" Caligari said.

"You're wrong" Matthias said. "Lily, go" he said.

"I can't leave you" I said.

"You have to" he said.

"No".

"Lily, you have to go" I knew this was my only chance to get to the portal, but my feet were rooted to the ground. I couldn't leave Matthias. Then I heard the shot and I watched him fall. I watched as Caligari turned to aim the gun at me. I ran for the portal as fast as I could. I was barely thru the thin veil before the gun went off.

Then I was in the men's room of the Jackson airport again. I slowly walked out of the stall. There was a man at the urinal who turned to look at me. I shrugged at him before I walked out of the restroom and in to the main terminal. I didn't think Caligari would follow me though the portal, but I kept walking at a fairly quick speed, and I quickly was lost in the crowd.

Once I was out of the airport I ran with my vampire quick speed. I didn't care where I was going; I just wanted to be far from the portal. I stopped running when I came to a park. It was night so the park was dark and quiet. I fell to my knees in the thick green grass, and I let the tears fall. I let every tear I had ever held in fall onto the plush soil. It wasn't long before I felt like every drop of water had been rung from my body.

"It's ok sweetheart" I heard the familiar sing song voice. I looked up to see Endora's sweet smile looking down on me.

CHAPTER 11

The old Langley house was just as I remembered it. It was like I never left. It felt odd to be back with Endora after everything I'd been thru, but in a way it also felt right. It felt like this was where I was supposed to be. I shouldn't have gone with Matthias and tried to be something I could never be. I didn't know if this was the destiny that my mother had told me about, but I didn't care anymore.

I didn't want a destiny if it didn't have Matthias in it. This was the only way I could be free. My mother had never done anything for me, but now she expected me to follow some destiny she had planned for me. A destiny that only led to pain and loneliness; I didn't want that destiny. I didn't want a destiny that involved killing people and leaving orphans like Caligari.

"So you're back" I heard Tino say from the porch. There was no emotion in Tino's voice; it was as if he never doubted the fact that I would be back.

"Yes" I told him. He moved away from the door and allowed Endora and I to enter the house.

"Come and sit with me. We have much to catch up on" she said. Then she motioned for Tino to leave. Once Tino was out of sight she turned to me. Her face was unchanged, but I knew we were about to have a serious discussion.

"I don't need to know why you left, but I do need to know that you are devoted to staying here and being the vampire that I need you to be" she said. "Do you remember when I told you about how I became a vampire?" she asked.

"Yes, you were living on the street when Castor found you."

"Yes, but what I didn't tell you is that I wasn't living on the streets alone" she said. "I had a daughter. She died before Castor found me. We didn't have a lot of food and she got sick. I did what I could to get her medicine, but it didn't help. She died before her first birthday." I didn't know what to say. I had always seen Endora as a powerful vampire. I had never thought about what her life had been like before becoming a vampire. I realized that life had not been kind to Endora.

"I lost my daughter before I ever got to know her. The pain was so bad I didn't want to live anymore. I started living a reckless life that would have gotten me killed. Then Castor found me and he told me he could make me not feel the pain, and he did. Becoming a vampire and killing did take the pain away, but it also took away the happiness I felt as a human. I remember losing my daughter, but I don't remember the pain. I also don't remember what it feels like to be happy. I think I was happy when my daughter was born, but I don't remember. I want you to go into this knowing what it will take from you" she said.

"I am ready for this and I don't care what it takes away from me" I told her. I thought about yesterday and about how happy I was with Matthias, but then I thought about what it felt like to watch him die. I knew that I would trade the happiness of that day to not feel the pain.

"And you understand what it means?" she asked.

"Yes" I said.

"Then we won't talk about your leaving anymore. I'm just glad you are home" she said. "It's getting early. You should rest" she said. "We are going to meet the Queen, and we leave tomorrow night".

I gave Endora a small smile as I walked up the stairs to my bedroom. When I opened the door the pink threatened to make me sick. I closed the thick curtains before taking off the clothes I had been wearing for the last two days. I filled the bathtub with warm water and bath salts. I washed my hair and then sank deep into the warmth of the water. I lay on the soft bubble gum pink bed, but the sweet oblivion of sleep would not come. Tomorrow night I would meet the Queen and she would decide if I deserved to live as a vampire or if I would be killed. I knew I would have to make a choice. I would have to do the thing I had been avoiding. I would have to kill someone. I told myself that it didn't matter if I killed or not. Whoever they brought for me to kill would still end up just as dead. I was a vampire and it was in my nature to kill. I needed to stop fighting who I was and accept that I wasn't the descendant of the Water Elemental, only a vampire.

I would make my kill tomorrow and give away the last of my humanity. I would accept my destiny, but it would be the destiny that I chose. Matthias was gone. He would never know what I would become. The only way to not be the descendant of the Water Elemental was to fully embrace the vampire inside me. If I gave up the last of my humanity then the water powers inside me would die. Everything that I was would die. I didn't know what I would become, but I knew that I wouldn't feel this pain. I knew that tomorrow this would all be over.

CHAPTER 12

I watched the sun set from the window of my room. I couldn't let Endora or anyone else know that I didn't feel the burn of the sun. Soon we would be leaving for the Queen's Sanctuary. I had never met the Queen, and I wasn't looking forward to meeting her. Every new vampire had to be presented to the Queen, but I knew that Endora had been waiting until I made my first kill. There were stories about the Queen killing new vampires that she didn't approve of. I knew she would not approve of the fact that I hadn't made a kill, but I had to hope that Endora would protect me.

I threw a few clothes into a bag before I took a deep breath and went downstairs.

"The land witch is ready to go" I watched as Tino loaded a bound and gagged Jane into the van. I looked at Jane's face and I almost wished that I could help her. I wished that our world didn't exist the way that it, did but I knew there was nothing I could do to help her. Jane had made her choice the moment she had gotten into my car. At best she would be taken to the Queen and kept a slave like the humans. At worst they would have me kill her. I knew that if Endora asked me to kill Jane I would. It would be easier to kill someone that I didn't know.

We spent several days driving in a van with blacked out windows. Castor was the only one to drive. Eventually we reached a coast, it was impossible to tell which one. Castor drove us deep into a dark cave where the sub-shuttles were docked.

The windows to the sub-shuttle were not blacked out and I watched as we dove deeper and deeper. I watched as the ocean floor opened up to us. It was night, but the lights on the shuttle illuminated the water around us. I knew we were close to the Queen's Sanctuary when I saw the water witches. They were the reason for the myth of mermaids. The Sanctuary was built to look like a castle, but it actually looked more like a prison with the reinforced steel necessary to withstand the pressure of being so far underwater.

Inside the Sanctuary was a different world. It was like stepping back in time. It seemed like a wonderful place where anything could happen. The Japanese influences gave the place a peaceful and calming atmosphere. You would never guess that this was the lair of the powerful and deadly vampire Queen.

"Caster, you were expected over a week ago" we were greeted by a man who I assumed was some kind of witch since he wasn't a vampire. I saw nothing noteworthy about the man until I looked up and saw his eyes. The iris of his eyes were almost as dark as his pupils and they stood out against his pale skin. It wasn't just the color that stood out; those eyes looked like they missed nothing and knew everything.

"Yes, we were delayed" Caster said, and I was impressed that he managed to keep the sarcasm from his voice.

"Your accommodations are ready for you as always. The Queen will see you tomorrow after you have rested from you trip" the dark eyed man said. The accommodations he was referring to was one of the seven wings that were used when the council members and their entourage were in residence. Once we were in Castor's wing everyone began dividing up the room. Tino and one of Castors vampires got into a heated argument about who should be in one of the larger rooms. I had to keep from smiling when Castor's vampire won and Tino was forced to share a room with another vampire.

My room was barely big enough for me to move around the twin bed, but it was private. I sat on my small bed. I didn't think that I would be able to find the peace I needed before the night came. So instead of worrying about my first kill, I thought about how I would feel afterwards. I thought about the peace that was supposed to come when I gave up my humanity. I thought about what it would feel like to not have my humanity. I would be like Endora and Tino. I would be the vampire that I was meant to be. I wouldn't be who I was anymore. I didn't want to be who I was anymore. I didn't want to feel human emotions any longer.

I wasn't even able to find the vampire-like sleep that I craved. Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was Caligari killing Matthias. Matthias wasn't supposed to come back for me. He was supposed to leave and live the rest of his live without thinking of me. Instead, he died saving me. I rose from the bed well before sunset and went into the main room of the wing. I found Castor sitting alone. I thought about going back to my room, but by the time I turned around he had already seen me.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked.

"Do I have a choice?" I asked.

"I like you" he said.

"I'm glad someone does" I said.

"Do you know how to Waltz?" he asked.

"No" I said. Why would I know how to Waltz? I thought.

"You're going to need to Waltz at the party" he said as he stood and came towards me. I back away on instinct.

"What party?" I asked.

"The party the Queen is throwing. It's not often all seven council members are together, but when we are you can be sure there will be a big party. The Waltz is very simple" he held out his right hand to me. I reluctantly took it and found myself encircled in his arms. "Put your left hand on my bicep. You are going to go back on your right foot then just follow me" he said. "Not bad" he said as I shakily followed his steps.

"Why are all seven council members here?" I asked. I didn't know a lot about the vampire council, but I did know that it took a lot to get them all together.

"Because of you" he said. "Because of what we are hoping you can do".

"And what is that?" I asked him.

"I'll tell you when you are ready, but now you should go upstairs and get ready. You'll find a dress in the closet in your room" he said as he let go of me.

I forced a smile as I turned and walked back to my room. Once I was inside I went straight to the closet and found the dress Castor had told me was there. I was expecting something tight fitting and black, but I was pleasantly surprised to find a long flowing white dress. I put the dress on and smiled when I saw myself in the mirror. I reached for the black eyeliner out of habit, but then I put it down realizing it didn't go with the dress.

I looked in the mirror again and thought I looked like a bride. That thought made me think of Matthias. I wondered if we would have gotten married if things had been different. What would our lives look like now if I wasn't a vampire and he wasn't in the Brotherhood? I stopped that trail of thought as soon as I felt the tears welling up. Crying over Matthias would not get me through the night.

"Lily, you look... Very pretty" Endora said as I emerged from my small room and entered the large common room. Endora and Castor were the only ones in the common room. They were sitting close together on the only couch, and by the way they had both turned to look at me as I entered made me think that I had interrupted a private moment. I sat down in the chair opposite of the couch not caring what I had interrupted. We waited in silence for Tino to emerge from his room.

Castor led the four of us onto a large circle balcony where we could look down at the party below. The party guests were a mix of vampires and witches. Some of the vampires were feeding from witches. The Queen allowed her guests to feed from the witches as long as it was consensual. The witches didn't look like they minded being fed from. For the first time I wondered what it was like for a human to be fed from. To me the feeding looked messy and violent, but the look of bliss on the witches face's said they felt differently.

"Looks like things are in full swing. Care to dance?" Castor asked as he took Endora's hand and led her down the stairs to the dance floor in the middle of the main room. Tino and I followed them. Once we reached the bottom of the stairs Castor led Endora onto the dance floor. Tino gave me a curt nod then disappeared into the crowd leaving me alone. I wasn't alone for long; soon I was surrounded by vampires and witches alike. Some of them made polite conversation, but most of them just whispered about me. I had never felt so on display before.

"Would you do me the honor?" a vampire wearing the symbol of the council asked, but he was already pulling me onto the dance floor before I could respond. I was thankful that Castor had showed me how to waltz because that seemed to be the dance of choice in this place. Once the dance ended there was another council member there to take his place. They asked me things like where I was from and when I was turned. None of them asked me anything about being the descendant of the Water Elemental. I assumed there was a reason for that, but I didn't ask. They also didn't care to offer any information about themselves, and I didn't ask because I didn't care.

After the third dance I managed to sneak off to a dark corner to find a moment alone. I just wanted this night to be over. I never again wanted to see Matthias die every time I closed my eyes. I had to get thru the night. I told myself that I could do this. I could get thru this party, and I could kill a stranger to save myself. I didn't fully understand what would happen after tonight, but I worry about that tomorrow.

"Are you having fun?" I looked up to see a dark eyed man watching me.

"I don't think I'm meant to have fun" I told him.

"So, you're the heir of Water Elemental that everyone is talking about" he said.

"And who are you?" I asked.

"My name's Enlil" he said.

"I meant what are you?" I said.

"I'm an air witch" he said.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"I protect the Queen" he said.

"Why would the vampire Queen need an air witch to protect her?" I asked.

"Hold out your hand" he said and I did as he asked. He held out both his hand palms up about a foot under my hand. "Try to move your hand" he said. The moment I tried to move my hand I felt the pressure. It was like the air was pressing down on my hand from all sides.

"That's a neat trick, but I still don't see what use the Queen would have for a parlor trick" I said. Then I felt my entire body being frozen.

"If you were human I could compress the air around you so hard it would crush your lungs, but since vampires don't have the need to breath the pressure won't kill you, but it will hold you in place for as long as I want" he said.

"Can all air witches do that?" I asked once the pressure had stopped.

"No" he said.

"There you are" I heard Tino say. "The time has come. The Queen wants to see us" he said as if he had been reading my thought. Just a few minutes more and I would finally be at peace.

***

The room we met the Queen in was ornately decorated with same the same Japanese influences as the rest of the Queen's sanctuary. The room gave off a sense of calm and peace, which I found odd since I would be asked to make my first kill in this room. I would have preferred a cold, sterile room, but I wasn't in control in the Queen's sanctuary. I wondered if the Queen would let me choose the human that I was to kill or if one had already been chosen for me.

I didn't really want to choose the person I would kill, but I also didn't like thinking the choice wasn't mine to make. I told myself that it didn't matter. I would kill whoever I could to lose my humanity. I told myself that it would be over quickly. I would bite into the carotid artery and just let the blood flow into me. It would be quick.

The room wasn't small, but it felt crowded with all seven council members, Tino, Endora, the Queen, and a few witches, including Enlil, gathered into the room. The council members were assembled in the back of the room except for Castor, who was in the center of the room with Endora and me. Tino was leaning against one of the side walls. The Queen sat at the front of the room with Enlil standing at her side.

The Queen was a small woman by any standards. She looked like she was younger than I was when she was turned into a vampire, but I could tell she was old by looking into her eyes. Her eyes told a story of a girl who had seen too much in her many years on this earth. It was odd how her eyes didn't match the rest of her. I thought it was almost jarring to look at her, and I noticed that many in the room did not look directly at her, but I couldn't look away. I wondered if I was looking at my future. I wondered if I would become like her. I wondered if one day I would look frozen in time with dangerous eyes.

"So, you're the one I've heard so much about" the Queen said. "I heard you ran away recently, but then you came back. Tell me, why did you come back?" she asked.

"This is where I belong" I told her.

"And you are ready to fully embrace this life?" she asked.

"Yes" I said. Then I saw the man behind the Queen. I couldn't believe I was looking at the man who killed Matthias. I hoped that he was the one I would have to kill. Killing Caligari would be easy. He was the one person I would enjoy killing. I took a step towards him, but I felt the pull of Endora's control telling me that I couldn't kill him.

"Surprised to see me?" he asked.

"Yes" it was all I could do to hold back my anger. I didn't want him to know that I cared. I didn't want him to know that he could get to me. Endora could only hold me back for so long, and I could wait. One day I would kill him. After tonight I didn't know what I would be, but I did know that I wouldn't feel an ounce of remorse after killing Caligari.

"I wouldn't miss this" he said. "If I can't kill you, I can at least watch as you kill your water powers".

"Bring him in" the Queen said to Caligari, and I smelled the warm sweetness of his scent before I saw him. Matthias was bound with chains looking as if he had been beaten. My heart soared at the sight of him. I couldn't believe I was seeing him; that he was here and he was ok. All I wanted to do was remove the chains, tend to the cuts on his face, hold him, and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but I knew that I couldn't. I couldn't help him. "This is the man you ran away with isn't it?" the Queen asked. "This man betrayed you to the Brotherhood" she said.

"Yes" I said. I was hoping that she wouldn't say what I knew she was going to say.

"Are you willing to kill him?" she asked.

"No" I said. I was willing to kill anyone they put in front of me, but I couldn't kill Matthias.

"Would you rather die than kill him?" the Queen asked.

"Yes" I said, and I heard Matthias protest against his bonds.

"So be it. Endora" the Queen said the name in the form of an order, and I knew that she was ordering Endora to kill me.

"Lily I'm sorry" Endora said. Then I felt her control telling me to kill Matthias. I felt the dreaded involuntary reaction to her order well up inside me. Then I hated everything inside me for making me do what I was about to do. I was going to kill the one person I loved, and there was nothing I could do about it. My body moved without my telling it to. Everything inside of me screamed no. Then I felt something inside me break. It was like a twig snapped inside my chest, but there was no pain. The involuntary movements stopped. I realized that I was in full control of my body again.

I looked at Endora, and I remembered what she has told me about what would happen if she commanded me to do something I would rather die than to do. I could no more kill Matthias than I could kill myself. When Endora commanded me to kill Matthias she had knowingly broken our bond. Then I felt the water rush over me. The walls of the room shook.

"What did you do?" I heard Castor ask Endora.

"I freed her" Endora said.

"You may have killed us all" Castor said.

"What's going on" I heard the Queen ask, but it sounded so far away. Without my bond with Endora the water powers inside me were taking control. I would have laughed if I had been able to. I used to dream of what it would be like to not be bound to Endora, but all I felt was a deep emptiness that was slowly being filled by something worst. At least with Endora I knew what I was dealing with. Endora hadn't had a choice. She was trying to save me. If she hadn't released my bond Castor would have made her kill me.

"She broke her bond. Endora is not controlling her anymore" Castor said.

"That's not possible" the Queen said. The water was washing over me in waves, and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't hold the waves back. I was going to bring the whole sanctuary down and kill everyone inside it. Then I saw Matthias's face and I could hear him telling me that I could control it. His eyes helped me hold the water back, but I knew that I couldn't hold it for long. The water was calling me. It wanted me to be one with it. I couldn't stop it.

"I can get her out of the sanctuary if you let me leave with her" I heard Enlil say.

"No" I heard the Queen say. I heard a sound like something snapped.

"Do you have a better option?" Castor asked.

"You told me she could be controlled" the Queen said.

"She was under control" Castor said. "You shouldn't have brought the boy into this".

"I can't hold this much longer. I'm going to bring this place down" I said thru a clinched jaw.

"Losing one slave is better than losing this whole place" Castor said.

"You can get her out of here?" the Queen asked Enlil.

"Yes" he said.

"I want to take Matthias too" I said.

"No" the Queen said.

"Then I'm going to bring this place down, and I don't care who I take with me" I said.

"You have to let them go" Castor said.

"Go, before I change my mind" the Queen said. "Know that this isn't over" she finished. Then I felt air on my skin. It felt like a warm breeze blowing across my skin. As were left the sanctuary, I heard Endora scream. I knew she would pay the ultimate price for my freedom. Endora's scream was followed by a scream from Tino, but I didn't have time to look back. I felt like I was floating in a bubble. I don't know how long it took us to get from the sanctuary to the shore because I don't remember the trip back. I just remembered being safe and warm inside the air bubble Enlil created. Then we were on a beach somewhere I didn't know, but that didn't matter. I noticed that someone had removed the chains from Matthias, and Enlil was no longer wearing a slave collar.

"Why would you come back for me?" I asked the question that I'd wanted to ask since Matthias had come back to save me.

"I couldn't leave without you" he said. "I realized that my freedom didn't mean anything if I didn't have you. I lost you once, and I couldn't lose you again".

I looked at Matthias. He was the reason I had wanted to lose my humanity, but he was also the one to save me. The only way I could have broken my bond was if Endora had asked me to kill someone I loved more than myself. Endora knew how I felt about Matthias even before I did. She knew what would happen when she gave that order. I also knew Castor had killed her. She had died for me so I wouldn't have to lose the rest of my humanity and be lost as a vampire forever.

Then Matthias was kissing me, and I knew that whatever happened after today would be would be okay. After all this time and everything we had been though, we would be finally be together.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sarah Dell has always enjoyed making up stories, but it wasn't until 2009 that she had the thought to write her stories down for others to enjoy. "In the Face of Darkness" is the first story she had published. When she is not writing she spends most of her time with her husband Ryan.

