>> THE OSCARS, THE GLITZ, THE
GLAMOUR,
THE HOST'S OLD BAD TWEETS,
WHOOPSIES.
WHO WILL RISK EVERYTHING FOR THE
CHANCE TO GAIN NOTHING?
HERE ARE THE AUDITIONS.
>> TIFFANY HADDISH TAKE ONE.
>> SHOULD TIFFANY HADDISH HOST
THE OSCARS?
SHE'S READY.
>> TAKE TWO.
>> HI, GUYS, I LOVE THE
DOCUMENTARY ABOUT ERIC TRUMP'S
BRAIN, THE QUIET PLACE.
I BELIEVE OPPOSITE OF ANY ROOM
I'M IN BECAUSE OF MY VOICE YOU
GOT.
>> CHRIS HEMSWORTH.
>> HEY.
HOST THE OSCARS?
WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO LOOK AT
ME.
>> ANNA GATSBY.
>> OSCAR HOST?
WHO WILL BREAK THE TENSION?
I WOULD LOVE TO BUT IN THE
MIDDLE OF IT, I QUIT HOSTING.
TOO MUCH TENSION.
>> RONNIE MALICK TAKE ONE.
>> MAYBE SOMETHING FUN AND SUPER
HIGH ENERGY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
DOES THAT WORK?
>> MICHAEL STRAHAN.
.
>> OKAY, BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT
THE OSCARS.
THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON AT
SPEECHES IS MERYL STREEP.
BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN STREEP
MAKES A SPECH?
DOES SHE TAKE A PILL?
BACK TO YOU, FOOTBALL.
>> RACHEL BROSNAHAN FROM "THE
MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL."
>> HOST?
WELL, OBVIOUSLY, IF I WAS
HOSTING I WOULD PROBABLY DO A
COMEDY BIT, AND OF COURSE I
WOULD -- I WOULD WANT THE HELP
OF MY FEARLESS CREATOR
AMY SHERMAN-PALLADINO.
>> HELLO!
YES, ME AND MY HAT WILL WRITE IT
ALL.
>> SARAH SILVERMAN, TAKE ONE.
>> I USED TO SAY A LOT OF
CONTROVERSIAL STUFF BUT I'M A
GOOD GIRL NOW.
I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO GET
ALONG -- WITH MY VAGINA.
>> ALLISON JANNEY.
>> HOST?
YEAH, I'LL DO IT.
MEET MY CO-HOST, TEQUILA JONES!
I'M GONNA BE A GOOD HOST.
>> TERRY CREWS.
>> TERRY CREWS GONNA HAVE A GOOD
TIME HOSTING OSCARS!
YES HE WILL.
I CAN DO THIS!
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU THINK OSCAR'S MORE JACKED
THAN ME?
CHECK THIS OUT!
OH YEAH.
>> KANYE WEST TAKE ONE.
>> CONTROVERSY, BRO.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
I'M TRYING TO STAY WAY OUT OF
IT.
BEST ACTOR?
UH-UH, WHAT ABOUT BEST HUMAN,
BRO?
MY TWITTER'S NEVER BEEN A
PROBLEM.
SCROLL IT.
>> I'M BACK!
>> EXCUSE ME, ROSEANNE!
>> OH, RELAX.
IT WAS AMBIEN.
EVERYBODY'S SO SENSITIVE.
I'M GONNA HOST THE OSCARS.
>> MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY.
>> FIRST OF ALL, HERE'S WHAT
HAPPENED.
I WAS TALKING TO MY HERO, WHO'S
ME IN TEN YEARS.
HE SAID MATTHEW, YOU'RE GONNA
HOST THE ACADEMY AWARDS.
WHAT I DIDN'T REALIZE IS I WAS
TALKING TO MYSELF IN SIX YEARS,
AND WHAT I WAS ACTUALLY SAYING
WAS TEN YEARS AGO, YOU'RE GONNA
WIN AN ACADEMY AWARD.
SO FOUR YEARS AGO, MY NAME WAS
IN THE ENVELOPE.
SO NOW I DON'T KNOW WHO I'M
TALKING TO.
ALL RIGHT.
>> ELLEN DEGENERES, TAKE THREE.
>> HI, I'MEN.
I'LL HOST THE OSCARS, SURE.
I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING
CONTROVERSIAL IN MY LIFE BS
EXCEPT FOR BEING DAY.
BUT PEOPLE LIKE THAT NOW, EXCEPT
FOR THE GUY WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO
HOST.
>> THE 91st ANNUAL ACADEMY
AWARDS, WHO WILL IT BE?
