-You sort of always have done
material that some people
would say is on
the wrong side of taste.
You actually told
Hitler jokes in Berlin.
-Yeah.
-How did that go?
-They loved it.
-Yeah.
-Honestly.
-I bet, though.
-I mean, it's a piece
I do everywhere.
I do the same show everywhere.
-Yeah.
-And, you know, you think, "Oh,
is Hitler gonna go down well?"
And I was worried about it.
And I just started it
and I just said,
"Yeah, come on,
let's talk about Hitler."
And they loved it, you know?
But, yeah, Hitler's universal.
Everyone, you know --
I mean, you'll never --
I'll never stop finding
the funny in Hitler.
-I agree with you.
-It annoys me, as well, right?
One thing about Hitler
that annoys me.
[ Laughter ]
-All right, but make your case,
but just know...
-Hear me out. Hear me out.
-All right. Let's hear him.
-It's not gonna be crass, right?
You know.
No. When people say --
In all, like, sci-fi things,
the first thing someone
does when they've got
a time machine is --
they go back and kill Hitler.
I've talked about this.
They say, "Yeah, I'd do that."
I go, "You're just saying --
You haven't thought about it.
That's not the
first thing you'd do.
You'd go back and meet
your nan or something --
do you know what I mean? --
when she was young, right?
I don't know why.
I don't know why I'd do that.
I wouldn't do that, right?
-The weird thing would be is
if she was with Hitler.
-Yeah.
-I'd go like, "Oh, no!"
-One-stop shopping.
One-stop shopping.
No. And I say, "Why would you --
They tried to kill
Hitler at the time."
And they go, "No, I'd kill him
when he was a baby."
And I think,
"How could you -- You couldn't.
Have you seen how
cute Hitler was as a baby?
-No. I have never seen
Hitler's baby -- You have it?
-Yeah. Right? Right?
Look at this, right?
Oh, there it is.
Look how cute...
-There. Go over there.
-...Hitler was as a little baby.
-All right.
-All right? Yeah.
I mean, as if you
could go back and strangle --
He hasn't even done --
Don't forget --
he hasn't done
anything wrong yet.
-Yeah.
-So you're gonna go back
and be like, "Coochie-coo,"
and then you're gonna -- No.
He hasn't done --
Let's see what happens.
Also, I wouldn't kill him.
I'd change him.
I'd just be nice to him,
get him into art college.
-Oh, I see.
You'd just change him. Yeah.
-Because you don't know --
You know, I know what
you're thinking.
Why have I got pictures
of Hitler on my phone?
-No.
-There's a story
behind this, actually.
I have got pictures of Hitler
on my phone as a baby
'cause I did a tweet once --
"Who's the cutest?"
And it was Hitler, right?
-Uh-huh.
-Versus -- Oh, where is he?
Where is he?
Anything could pop up
on this phone, right?
Oh, yeah. That's me, right?
So, I did, "Who's the cutest?"
-Yeah.
-And I won, but only just.
[ Laughter ]
And there's another thing
about having pictures
of Hitler on your phone, right?
I've got an iWatch.
-Yeah.
-And, sometimes, the screen --
it just throws up random photos
that are on your phone.
So I can be in a meeting,
and just baby Hitler
pops up on the phone.
And I can see that I --
"Is that your kid?"
"No. It's, uh...No.
It's -- it's --
Oh, it's Hitler."
-Thank you so much.
Always such
a pleasure to see you.
