-I have to tell you saw
"Mother!" last night.
-[ Laughs ]
-I´m still shaken to the core.
-Oh, I thought you
were just kidding, okay.
-Not my mother.
-Right.
-I saw mother the other night,
like it´s our mother.
-Oh, thank you for seeing it.
-No, your movie "Mother."
-Yeah, it´s very --
it´s hard to watch.
-Yeah, we don´t have the same --
we´re not brother and sister.
[ Laughter ]
You´re the daddy. No.
-I thought you were being
Andy Cohen. Okay, anyway.
-No, yeah.
No, I saw the movie --
your movie last night
directed by Darren Aronofsky,
which is a coincidence.
I grew up with
an Aaron Daranoski [ Laughs ]
-Oh, really?
-No relation.
-Oh, and --
No, I saw this move last night
and I am still shaking.
I don´t know
what I went through.
-[ Chuckles ] Yeah, I know.
-How did you act in this?
Did you take a giant
vacation after this role?
This is insane.
-I mean, I´ve already said this.
I don´t know if people
know about this.
I got to such a low point,
in the film, emotionally,
like, I was going to such
a dark place
that eventually I had to bring
in the Kardashians in.
Not in person, obviously.
-That happens.
No, no that happens
they do that for people.
-Yeah.
-Yeah, they show up.
It´s like a party bus.
they show up, like,
"We´re here to cheer you up.
what´s up.
-Oh, my God.
-You know Khloe, Kendall,
they go though the whole family.
-Oh, my God,
-No, we -- we
I had to do this one scene
that like, I had never gone
that, like,
you know,
that "dark" before,
I don´t want to sound
like my craft,
but I had never done
something that horrifying.
So I started getting scared
like a couple of days before
and I was like, "I needed a tent
just to be away
from all the extras because
so I didn´t know
what I would do.
-Yeah.
-And then eventually, you know,
one Kardashian came and then
another Kardashian came.
-It´s like a clown car
They all come out of one car.
-But it was just a computer
that was playing
"The Kardashians"
and it had head shots,
and it also little notes
of, like,
to me from them
that I had written.
-Yeah, of course. Yeah. just
like, just to keep you happy.
-Yeah.
-A happy tent.
-Yeah, which I can´t share
any of them,
because I don´t want to offend
anybody but just like
my own personal thoughts.
-But they make you happy?
-I don´t know.
-Yeah, because I´m watching you.
I´m going,
"This is just insane
for one person
to do all this.
You´re so good.
-Oh, thank you.
-You´re so talented.
-Thanks.
And I´m just like I
feel for you,
and I´m like, "I don´t know
how much I can take."
-I know, my whole family
is going to see it tomorrow,
and I´m really scared.
I´m like, really worried
about my brother seeing it.
-Oh, it is bizarre.
We saw it, and we had an awesome
sound system.
The place was rattling
because sound is a very --
I would say is one
of your co-stars in this film.
Would you agree?
-Totally. yeah.
The design, the amount
of effort that Aaron
put into the sound design
was really grade A.
-Tell him he did a great job
from like it´s from me
-Okay, I will.
-I think I know
what I´m talking about.
It starts off,
and you just hear every creek,
and every little thing
and I go, "Okay."
And by the end, it is...
I don´t -- I hate to --
I don´t even know
what to tell people
about the movie.
-I don´t really know
what to tell people either.
I´ve gone between
not saying anything
and just telling everybody
everything.
-Just go see it.
Just go see it.
and not know anything.
That´s what I did.
-Or you can google
all the times I´ve just spilled
the entire plot.
-No, don´t.
We won´t do that here.
-There´s many of them.
-But you guys, Javier Bardem
and you --
He´s a writer,
and you have this remote house
in the middle of nowhere,
and then and a strange dude --
-That represents Earth.
[ Laughter ]
-You´re spoiling a little bit.
-I know, I know, I know.
I really can´t help it.
-Stop it.
-I know but I feel like
the metaphors are so good.
-Don´t tell people
what to think.
No don´t.
-Cause people don´t, don´t know.
-The metaphors, yeah. I know.
They do. They get the metaphors.
-You sound just
like Darrenofsky.
-Aaron Darrenoksi?
-Darrenofsky.
-Oh, Darrenofsky, yeah.
Oh, yeah, I knew him, too.
His parents owned a car wash.
Ofsky´s car wash.
[ Light laughter ]
-[ Laughs ]
-I don´t know what to say.
A stranger comes to the door.
it´s Ed Harris...
-Mm-hmm.
-...and things just get weird.
-Yeah.
-It gets insane.
-Yeah.
They almost get biblical.
-Yeah. I was going
insane watching it.
I go, "This is the most -- wow.
-I know.
-It´s beautifully shot.
-When I saw it with an
audience, I felt like,
really shook afterwards,
and I pulled Darren aside.
I was like, "This is a mistake."
We took it too far.
And then like, he was like,
"What?"
And then 30 minutes
later I was like, "Ah, no."
-You were singing -- you were
you singing Christmas carols?
You were trying to play
Christmas music
to keep you happy?
-That was...
Yeah, after I would do a
scene and I would try to --
or if we were doing rehearsals,
anytime I didn´t want to feel
too much or -- this again.
Feel so like so like --
But if I didn´t want
to feel something
or if I was feeling
something gross
and I wanted to get out of it,
I would listen
to Bruce Springsteen´s
"Santa Claus Is Comin´ to Town."
So there was this one --
I would be crying on,
like, an apple box
in the corner like,
♫ [ Sobbing ] Santa Clause
is comin´ to town ♫
[ Sobbing continues ]
-[ Laughs ]
♫ You better watch out ♫
♫ You better not cry ♫
♫ You better not pout,
I´m telling you why ♫
♫ Santa Claus
is comin´ to town ♫
It makes you happy.
It makes you happy, yeah.
You got to get us some
Herb Alpert on your playlist
cause that makes you
happy as well.
-God, I wish that
just happened in life.
where you just
started singing and --
-Yeah, that does.
It did just happen.
-It did, yeah, this is life.
-This is life.
-I forgot.
I want to show a
clip of "Mother!"
-Okay.
-Not, again, not our mother.
This is the movie "Mother!"
Here´s Jennifer Lawrence
in "Mother!"
Take a look at this.
Whew.
[ Chimes jingle softly ]
[ Floor creaking ]
[ Insects chirping ]
[ Glass shatters ]
-[ Gasps ]
[ Floor creaks ]
[ Chimes jingle softly ]
[ Exhales sharply ]
-What!
That´s what I´m talking about!
I know!
That´s the whole movie.
-I wasn´t paying attention.
-Don´t pay attention.
Oh, my gosh.
-My brother is really
sensitive to scary things.
He can´t even watch the trailer.
-It was just...
-He was scared of oompa loompas.
-People are freaked out,
right now.
[ Laughter ]
So then -- so you´re coming
on the show,
and I´m so excited
you´re coming on.
Then we hear from Matt.
-Matt!
-Matt!
That you want to challenge me
to an axe throwing competition.
-Yeah.
-Now, what is this story?
Where did this start?
Have you ever done it?
-It´s not much of a story.
-No.
-It was...
-You just thought
it would be fun to do it.
-...I went to a bar
with one of my brothers
in Kentucky called Flying Axes,
and I threw axes and drank beer.
-The bar is called --
the bar is called Throwing...?
-It´s called Flying Axes.
-You drink and throw axes?
-[ Laughing ] Yeah.
-What is wrong with people.
-Yeah.
-Oh, my goodness.
-[ Laughs ]
-I can´t believe you did that.
-On second thought,
it should be more like
a tea or coffee place.
-Yeah, no beverages.
Just throw axes.
-But I had a lot of fun.
And so I thought
we would have fun.
-You´re the best.
I´m going to do it.
When we come back...
-I just really don´t want you
to win. Eh.
[ Laughter ]
I don´t want that.
-Oh, my God that character.
"I just don´t you to win.
Eh."
-I don´t´ have any money
but can I just have it.
-And you´re like waiting
for me to say something.
I´m going to win. yeah.
