
Serbian: 
Za LGBT ljude u očima javnosti, izlazak
obično nije uvek tiho ili privatno iskustvo.
Svako ima mišljenje. Svako ima nešto da kaže. 
I najviše svako ima kritiku kako je to moglo
drugačije. Ali, istina je da svojim
izlaskom javno i ponosno ovi ljudi
razbijaju staklo tavanice, oni razbijaju
vrata i šalju poruku LGBT ljudima,
posebno LGBT omladini, širom ove zemlje
da je okej da budeš ono što jesi. Večeras
pokazujemo poštovanje ženi koja je uradila sve ovo 
u isto vreme održavajući jednu od najuspešnijih
filmskih karijera njene generacije, Lana Wachowski.

English: 
For LGBT people in the public eye, coming
out is usually never a quiet or even private
experience. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone
has something to say. And for the most part
everyone has a critique as to how it could
have gone differently. But the truth is, by
coming out publicly and proudly these people
are shattering glass ceilings, they are breaking
down doors and sending a message to LGBT people,
particularly LGBT youth, all across this country
that it’s okay to be who you are. Tonight
we honor a woman who did all of that while
still maintaining one of the most successful
film careers of her generation, Lana Wachowski.

Serbian: 
(aplauz) Lana i njen brat, Andy, su
mozgovi iza jednog od najuspešnijih
filmskih serijala svih vremena, "Matriks".
(aplauz) svi ste ga videli.
Oni su napisali i producirali kritički priznati "V for Vendeta"
i njihov sledeći film, i njihov sledeći film,
kupite svoje karte, Cloud Atlas, sa Tomom
Henksom i Hale Beri, izlazi sledećeg petka.
Primio je zapanjujuće desetominutne
ovacije na Sundance festivalu ove godine.

English: 
(clapping) Lana and her brother, Andy, are
the brains behind one of the most successful
movie franchises of all time, The Matrix.
(clapping) you’ve seen it. They wrote and
produced the critically acclaimed V for Vendetta
and their next film, and their next film,
buy your tickets, Cloud Atlas, starring Tom
Hanks and Halle Berry, opens next Friday.
It received an astounding 10 minute standing
ovation at the Sundance Film Festival this

English: 
year. And while Lana is a legend in Hollywood,
to millions of LGBT people across the world,
she is nothing less than a hero. Let’s take
a look at the life and work of the amazing
Lana Wachowski.
One of Hollywood’s, uh, largest directors
is coming out as a transgender woman. Larry
Wachowski who was the director for the Matrix
is now doing ads for a new movie that she
directed known as Cloud Atlas. I was just
wondering why you thought it was time to address
this transformation. Uh, was it important
Lana, (mumbling) cause you were silent for
this, until this wonderful piece (Laughing)
You knew it was coming Sometimes people, I’m
afraid that people think that it was a judgment
about the process or the people out there
or the press, and it was never that. We just
really love anonymity and um, we’re giving
it up for a lot of reasons. Some personal,

Serbian: 
I dok je Lana legenda u Holivudu,
za milione LGBT ljudi širom sveta,
ona nije ništa manje nego heroj. 
Hajde da pogledamo život i rad zapanjujuće
Lana-e Wachowski.
Jedna od Holivudskih, uh, najvećih režisera
izlazi u javnost kao transrodna žena. 
Larry Wachowski koji je režirao "Matriks"
sada radi oglase za novi film koji je ona
režirala poznat sada kao Cloud Atlas. Samo me
interesuje zašto si mislila da je vreme da objaviš
ovu transformaciju. Uh, bilo je bitno
Lana, (mumla) zato što si ćutala o
ovome, sve do ovog divnog ostvarenja (smeh)
Znala si da dolazi. Nekada ljudi,
bojim se da ljudi misle da je to bila osuda
u vezi sa procesom ili od ljudi tamo negde
ili od medija, nikada nije bilo to.
Me samo veoma volimo anonimnost i, 
odričemo je se iz više razloga. Neki su lični,

Serbian: 
znate imam odgovornost osećam prema uh,
GLBT zajednici i moj brat je veoma velika podrška
i on je bio veoma velika podrška.
U ovom post procesu počneš da uzimaš male
delove ili promene u glasu ili reči i kreiraš
performans. Legendarne priče o ovome
kroz istoriju filma. Tako da je performans uvek
kreiran u sobi za editovanje. 
Deluje kao da živiš dva života. Jedan od ovih života
ima budućnost a jedan od njih ne.
Priroda naših moralnih života
je posledica naših reči i naših dela.
Fundamenti na kojima počiva naše znanje i naša
saznanja su neobjašnjivi. Mi smo
uvek zainteresovani, kao pripovedači svo troje
nas, za prirodu toga neobjašnjivoga.

English: 
you know I have a responsibility I feel to
uh, GLBT community and my brother is very
supportive and he’s been very supportive.
In the post process you begin taking little
parts or inflections or words and creating
a performance. Legendary stories about those
throughout the history of cinema. So performance
is always created in the editing room. It
seems that you’ve been living two lives.
One of these lives has a future and one of
them does not. The nature of our mortal lives
is in the consequence of our words and deeds.
The fundaments upon all our knowledge and
learning rests is the inexplicable. We’re
always interested, as storytellers all three
of us, in the nature of that inexplicability.

Serbian: 
Poricanje naših ličnih impulsa je poricanje same
suštine koja nas čini ljudima.
Mislim da svako ko prođe kroz nešto tako teško znaš, 
postaneš udaljen od toga što je nešto
i onda si kao jako uvređen tim svojim iskustvom
i to je tako intenzivno i onda si
onda samo pokušavaš da središ sve perfektno
i ne možeš da pogledaš gore i onda odjenom
on je bio u fazonu "pogledaj gore, pogledaj gore."
Dame i gospodo, molim vas da mi se pridružite u dobrodošlici
na stejdž 2012 Human Rights Campaign
Visibility primaoca nagrade - Lana Wachowski.

English: 
To deny our own impulses is to deny the very
thing that makes us unique. I think anyone
who goes through something so difficult you
know you become detached from that somewhat
and you’re just like you’re so insulated
by your experience and it’s so intense you’re
and you’re trying to make everything perfect
and you can’t look up and then suddenly he was like “look up, look up.”
Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming
to the stage the 2012 Human Rights Campaign
Visibility Award recipient Lana Wachowski.

Serbian: 
(aplauz)
Lana: Napraviću nastavak na ovaj mali intro
Mislim, nisam imala konačni rez na to.
Zdravo. Oh, zavežite.

English: 
(applause)
Lana: I’m gonna make a sequel to that little
intro, I think. I didn’t have final cut
on that. Hi. Oh shut up. I also didn’t give

English: 
my homework in time, was doing it last minute,
so I don’t have it in the nifty pretend
that I’m not really reading this, so you’ll
know I’m reading this. Okay. I haven’t
given a speech ever. Okay, okay, I get it.
You’re very encouraging, I love you. So,
I’m at my hairdresser’s…(laughing).
He’s gay, go figure. And he’s asking me
about this event and I say “yeah the HRC
wants to give me an award.” “Oh, really,”

Serbian: 
Takođe nisam uradila moj domaći na vreme, 
radila sam ga u poslednji minut,
tako da neću imati to divno pretvaranje
da ovo zaista ne čitam, tako da ćete da
znate da čitam ovo. Okej. Nikada nisam davala govor.
Okej, okej, razumem. Zaista ste ohrabrujući.
Volim vas. Dakle, 
Kod mog frizera sam (smeh)
On je gej, zaključite sami. I pita on me pita
o ovom događaju i ja kažem "da HRC hoće da
da mi da nagradu." "Oh, stvarno," on odgovara

Serbian: 
"Nagradu za šta?" Ja kažem, "Pa predpostavljam 
valjda za to što sam." (aplauz)
I on se tako igra sa mojom kosom i gleda me
"hmmm, mislim da si prilično dobro uspela da budeš ti." 
(smeh) Ja "ma da, nije bilo neke konkurencije"
I onda pošto je on špiclov, kaže,
"da, strava, zamisli da si izgubila."
(smeh) I tako, idem kod ovog frizera
koji je divan krasan čovek, već šest godina.
On zna sve o mojoj porodici,
kako sam bliska sa mojom bakom,

English: 
he says “Award for what?” I say, “Well
I guess kind of for being myself.” (clapping)
And he’s like playing with my hair and looking
at me “hmmm, yeah I guess you make a pretty
good you.” (laughing) I’m like “yeah
there wasn’t a lot of competition.” (laughing)
And then cause he’s a catty bitch, he goes,
“yeah good thing, just imagine if you had
lost.” (laughing) So I, I’ve been going
to this hairdresser who’s a gorgeous lovely
man for six years. He knows everything about
my family, how close I was to my grandma,

English: 
how I met and married the love of my life,
he did our hair for our wedding 3 years ago,
he’s seen the drunken pornographic pictures
from our honeymoon in Mykonos, but he doesn’t
know that I directed the Matrix trilogy. With
my brother, Andy and… (clapping, laughing).
So he knows all about who I am but he doesn’t
know what I do.
Conversely, I was recently out to dinner with
a mixture of friends and strangers who were
all very excited to meet a “Hollywood director.”
But all they want to do is ask about Keanu

Serbian: 
kako sam upoznala i udala se za ljubav svoga života,
uradio mi je frizuru za naše venčanje pre tri godine,
video je pijane i porno slike
sa našeg medenog meseca na Mikonosu, 
ali on ne zna da sam ja režirala Matriks trilogiju.
Sa mojim bratom Endijem... (aplauz, smeh)
Tako da on zna sve o tome ko sam ja ali
ne zna šta ja radim.
Obrnuto, skoro sam bila na večeri sa grupom
prijatelja i stranaca koji su bili veoma uzbuđeni
da upoznaju "holivudsku režiserku".
Ali svi oni pitaju za Kijanu Rivsa, Toma Henksa

Serbian: 
i Hale Beri. I tokom večere su mi se obraćali sa
"on" ili "jedan od Wachowski braće"
po nekad koristeći polovinu moga imena "Laaaaaaa"
(smeh). Kao čudan most između identiteta,
nemoćna ili možda nevoljna da vidim sebe ko sam
već vidim sebe kroz ono što radim.
Svako od nas, svaka osoba ovde, svaki ljudski život
predstavlja pregovaranje između
javnog i privatnog identiteta. Za mene je to pregovaranje
uzelo malo više bukvalan oblik u dijalogu između
mene, Endija, Toma Takvera, našeg novog brata po ljubavi
(aplauz, navijanje) ko je prosto divan,
sa kojim smo režirali naš poslednji film Cloud Atlas.

English: 
Reeves, Tom Hanks, and Halle Berry. And throughout
the dinner they repeatedly referred to me
as “he” or “one of the Wachowski brothers”
sometimes using half my name “Laaaaaaa”
(laughing). As an awkward bridge between identities,
unable or perhaps unwilling to see me as I
am but only for the things I do.
Everyone one of us, every person here, every
human life, presents a negotiation between
public and private identity. For me that negotiation
took a more literal form in a dialogue between
me, Andy, Tom Tykwer, our new brother by love
(clapping, cheering) who’s just gorgeous,
with whom we’ve directed our latest movie

English: 
Cloud Atlas. Thanks (cheering, clapping).
Thanks for the plug. Go see it. Uh, several
months again we were sitting in this Berlin
club, amid beer soaked haggardness in a space
not intended to be inhabited by people and
sunlight, (laughing) trying to decide if we
should shoot this introduction to a trailer
for our movie that’s about to be posted
online. Tom Hanks was supposed to do it, but
now he was unavailable.
Andy and I have not done press or made a public
appearance including premieres and over the
12 years people mistakenly believe that this
has something to do with my gender, it does
not. After the Matrix was released in ’99,
we both experienced this alarming contraction

Serbian: 
Hvala. (navijanje, aplauz)
Hvala za ućutkavanje. Pogledajte ga. 
Ah, da pre nekoliko meseci smo sedeli u tom
Berlinskom klubu, u sred gušenja od piva i pušenja
u prostoru koji nije bio namenjen za obitavanje ljudi,
sunčeve svetlosti, (smeh) pokušavajući da odlučimo
da li da snimamo ovaj uvod za trejler
za naš film koji samo što nije bio postavljen online.
Tom Henks je trebao da ga radi, ali je bio zauzet.
Endi i ja nismo uradili medije niti smo napravili
javno predstavljanje uključujući premijere i preko
dvanaest godina ljudi greškom veruju da ovo
ima nešto sa mojim polom, nema.
Posle Matriksa koji je pušten devedesetdevete,
oboje smo iskusili alarmantno sažimanje

English: 
of our world and thus our lives. We became
acutely aware of the preciousness of anonymity,
understanding it as a form of virginity. Something
you only lose once. Anonymity allows you access
to civic space, to a form of participation
in public life, to an egalitarian invisibility
that neither of us was prepared to give up.
We told Warner Brothers that we decided that
we didn’t want to do press anymore. They
told us “Huh, no.” (laughing) “This
is, they were absolutely not, this is nonnegotiable,
directors are essential to selling, marketing
a movie” We said, “Okay. We get it. So
if it’s a choice between making movies or

Serbian: 
našeg sveta i naših života. Postali smo akutno
svesni dragocenosti anonimnosti,
razumite je kao formu nevinosti. Nešto što gubite
samo jednom. Anonimnost vam daje
pristup građanskom životu, daje vam
pristup egalitarnoj nevidljivosti
od koje niko od nas nije bio spreman da se odrekne.
Rekli smo Warner Brothers-u da smo odlučili
da više ne želimo da komuniciramo sa medijima.
Oni su nam rekli "Huh, ne." (smeh).
"Ovo je, apsolutno ne, o ovome se ne pregovara, 
reditelji su esencijalni za prodaju, marketing filma" oni rekoše.
Mi smo rekli, "Okej. Razumemo. Dakle, ako je ovo
izbor između pravljenja filmova ili ne komunicirati sa medijima,

English: 
not doing press, we’ve decided we’re not
going to make movies.” And they said, “Hang
on.” (clapping, cheering) “Like maybe
there’s a little room for negotiation.”
So we, this uh, this position and that negotiation
was being reexamined in Berlin, three months
ago. All of us are conscious of the fact that
not only will it be Andy and my first public
appearance in a long time, but it will also
be the first time that I speak publicly since
my transition. Parenthetically this is a word
that is very complicated for me because of
its complicity in a binary gender narrative
that I am not particularly comfortable with.
(cheering, clapping) Yet, I realize when I
go on camera, that act will be subject to

Serbian: 
mi smo odlučili da nećemo više da pravimo filmove."
I onda su oni rekli, "Stanite malo."
"Možda ima malo prostora za pregovaranje."
Tako smo mi, ovo, ovu poziciju razmatrali u Berlinu,
pre tri meseca.
I svi smo svesni da neće biti samo Endi
i moje prvo javno obraćanje posle dugo vremena
već će biti prvi put da ja govorim pred javnošću
od tranzicije.
Uzgred, ova reč je veoma komplikovana
za mene zbog njene
komplikovanosti u binarnom polnom narativu
sa kojim mi nije posebno prijatno.
(navijanje, aplauzi) Ipak, shvatila sam da kada
izađem pred kamere, sam akt će biti predmet

English: 
projections that are both personal and political.
I have been out to my family and friends for
over a decade and the majority of that time
I’ve been discussing this, this particular
moment, with my therapist, my family and my
wife because I know eventually I’m going
to do it, but I also know that there is going
to be a price for it. I wasn’t sure how
I was going to come out, I just knew that
when I finally did come out, I didn’t want
it to be about my coming out. I am completely
horrified of the “talk show,” the interrogation
and confession format, the weeping, the tears
of the host (laughing) whose sympathy underscores

Serbian: 
projekcija koje su u isto vreme lične i političke.
Izašla sam pred svoju porodicu i prijatelje pre više
od jedne decenije, i većinu tog vremena smo
diskutovali ovaj, posebno ovaj trenutak,
sa mojim terapeutom, mojom porodicom i mojom
suprugom zato što znam da ću vremenom to ipak uraditi,
ali i zato što sam znala da će to da ima svoju cenu.
Nisam bila sigurna kako da izađem,
samo sam znala, da kada konačno to uradim
nisam želela da to
bude o mom izlasku. Cela sam prestravljena od
"tok šou-a", od saslušavanja
i formata ispovesti, plakanja, suza domaćina
(smeh) čije se simpetije podvlače

English: 
the inherent tragedy of my life as a transgender
person. And this moment, fulfilling the cathartic
arc of rejection to acceptance without ever
interrogating the pathology of a society that
refuses to acknowledge the spectrum of gender
in the exact same blind way they refuse to
see a spectrum of race or sexuality. (clapping)
So the three of us talk, we like to talk.
You’re probably realizing right now “uh
oh we got a talker here.” (laughing) There

Serbian: 
sa nasleđenom tragedijom moga života kao transrodne
osobe. U tom trenutku, ispunjavajući katarzični
luk od odbacivanja do prihvatanja bez ikakvog
sagledavanja patologije društva koje
odbija da prihvati spektar polova
i na isti slep način odbija da vidi
spektar rase ili seksualnosti. (aplauz)
Dakle, troje nas priča, mi volimo da pričamo.
Verovatno sada shvatate "uh imamo pričalicu
ovde" (smeh)

English: 
will be an intermission after about an hour
so… And we’re alternating perspectives
quite conscious of the fact that we have just
made a film about this subject, about the
responsibilities human beings have to one
another, that our lives are not entirely our
own. And there is dialogue from the film merging
easily with our discussion and I find myself
repeating a line from a character, who I was
very attached to who speaks about her own
decision to kind of come out. She says, “If
I had remained invisible, the truth would
stay hidden and I couldn’t allow that.”
And she says this aware that even at the moment
that she’s saying it that even the sacrifice
she has made will cost her her life.
Suddenly I begin this very intense rush of
images, thoughts and memories going through

Serbian: 
Biće pauza posle sat i nešto... 
I naizmenično menjamo perspektive
prilično svesni činjenice da smo upravo
napravili film o ovoj temi,
o odgovornosti ljudskih bića koja imaju
jedno prema drugome, i da naši životi
nisu potpuno naši. I ima tamo dijalog u filmu
koji se lepo stapa sa našom diskusijom i nađem sebe
kako ponavljam rečenicu lika iz filma, za koji
sam veoma vezana, ona koja priča o svojoj 
odluci koja je slična sa ovim izlaskom.
Ona kaže, "Da sam ostala nevidljiva, istina
bi ostala sakrivena i to ne bih mogla da dozvolim."
Ona ovo kaže svesna čak i u trenutku
gde kada to izgovara čak zna da žrtva koju
ona pravi će je možda koštati njenog života.
Odjednom mi počinje to veoma intenzivno
promicanje slika, misli i sećanja kroz moje pamćenje

English: 
my mind, a kind of life flashing before my
eyes that happens. People describe near death
experiences. As it begins I start to understand
just how complex the relationship between
visibility and invisibility has been throughout
my life.
I remember the third grade, I remember recently
moving and transferring from a public school
to a Catholic school. In public school I played
mostly with girls, I have long hair, and everyone
wears jeans and t-shirts. In the Catholic
school, the girls wear skirts, the boys wear
pants. I am told I have to cut my hair. I
want to play four square with the girls, but
now I am not one of them, I am one of the
boys. Early on, I am told to get in line after
the morning bell, girls in one line, boys
in the other. I walk past the girls, feeling
this strange, powerful gravity of association.
Yet, some part of me knows I have to keep

Serbian: 
kao ono kada ti život promiče pred očima. Ljudi
kada opisuju iskusva bliska smrti.
Kako je to počelo počinjem da shvtam
kompleksnost
između vidljivosti i nevidljivosti kroz moj život.
Sećam se trećeg razreda, sećam se skorašnjeg
seljenja i prebacivanja iz javne škole
u Katoličku školu. U javnoj školi sam se igrala
uglavnom sa devojčicama, imam dugu kosu,
i svi nose farmerice i majice. U Katoličkoj školi,
devojčice su nosile suknje, dečaci pantalone
Meni je rečeno da skratim kosu. Želela sam
da igram školice sa devojčicama, ali
sada kada nisam jedna od njih, ja sam jedan
od dečaka. Rano, rečeno mi je da stanem u liniju posle
jutarnjeg zvona, devojčice u jednu vrstu,
dečaci u drugu. Hodam pored devojčica, osećajući
tu čudnu, težu zajednice.
Ipak, jedan deo mene zna da moram da nastavim

Serbian: 
da hodam. Sve dok pogledam u drugu vrstu, 
ipak, osećam razlikovanje koje me zbunjuje.
Ne pripadam ni tamo. Stala sam između.
Primećujem da kaluđerica zuri u mene
i da viče na mene i da ja ne znam šta da radim.
Hvata me i viče na mene. Ne pokušavam
da budem neposlušna, samo pokušavam se uklopim. 
Moja tišina je razbesnela i počinje da me udara.
I odjednom, vrlo verovatno, 
da se ovo dešava u filmu nikada ne bi verovali u ovo, 
ali ta škripa guma
i moja mama koja slučajno prolazi (smeh),
ovo je totalno istinito,
ona iskače iz automobila i baca se na tu kaluđericu.
Odvaja me od nje spasivši me,
upozorava kaluđericu da me nikada više ne dotakne.
I imam (aplauz), bio je veliki događaj,

English: 
walking. As soon as I look towards the other
line, though, I feel a feeling of differentiation
that confuses me. I don’t belong there either.
I stop in between them. The nun I realize
is staring at me and then she’s shouting
at me and I don’t know what to do. She grabs
me and then she’s yelling at me. I’m not
trying to disobey, I’m just trying to fit
in. My silence infuriates her and she starts
to hit me. And suddenly, most improbably,
if it would happen in a movie you would never
believe this, but there’s these screeching
tires and my mom suddenly just happened to
be driving by (laughing), it’s like totally
true, she jumps out of her car and hurls herself
at this nun. She rips me away from her rescuing
me, she warns the nun never to touch me again.
And I have (clapping), it was a big moment,

English: 
and I think I’m safe, but then she takes
me home and she’s trying to understand what
happened, but I have no real language to describe
it. I just stare at the floor and she keeps
asking me over and over “what happened.”
And I begin to feel the same frustration,
the same mounting fury that I felt with the
nun. She tells me to look at her, but I don’t
want to because when I do, I’m unable to
understand why she can’t see me.
The last time I was asked to make a speech,
like this one, was my eighth grade graduation.
I was valedictorian of my class and Mr. Henderson,
my teacher, informed me that I got to give

Serbian: 
i ja mislim da sam sigurna, ali me onda
ona odvodi kući i pokušava da shvati
šta se desilo, ali ja nemam pravi jezik da opišem to.
Ja samo piljim u pod i ona me neprestano
pita "šta se desilo."
I počinjem da osećam istu frustraciju,
isto optočenje besa koji sam osetila sa 
kaluđericom. Kaže mi da je pogledam, ali
ja ne želim zato što kada je pogledam,
ne mogu da razumem zašto ne može da me vidi.
Poslednji put kada su me pitali za govor,
kao ovaj, bio je kraj godine osmog razreda.
Bila sam najbolja sa ocenama u razredu, i gospodin Henderson,
moj učitelj, me je informisao da moram da dam

English: 
a speech, as a result of being valedictorian.
I didn’t think that this was a very good
deal (laughing). I’m not sure about this
little award thing either, but… (laughing/clapping).
Being painfully shy, I declined. I said, “Let
someone else be valedictorian. He didn’t
like this answer. He said, “That’s not
how it works.” He said he understood how
I felt, no one likes giving speeches. Why
do we do it? But, uh, I had to (clapping)
I had, sometimes I had to think about not
just myself, I had to speak for my class and

Serbian: 
govor, kao rezultat toga što sam bila najbolji đak.
Nisam mislila da je to bila baš dobra pogodba.
(smeh). Nisam sigurna ni za ovu malu
nagradu takođe, ali... (smeh/aplauz)
Tako bolno sramežljiva, odbila sam. Rekla sam,
"Neka neko drugi bude najbolji đak." 
Nije mu se svideo odgovor. Rekao je,
"Ne funkcioniše to tako." Rekao je da razume kako
se osećam, niko ne voli da daje govore.
Zašto to onda radimo? Ali, uh, morala sam (aplauz)
Morala sam, nekada sam morala da mislim
ne samo o sebi, morala sam da govorim za svoj razred

Serbian: 
i morala sam da govorim za svoje roditelje koji
bi bili veoma ponosni na mene, rekao je.
Postoje neke stvari koje radimo za sebe, ali postoje
druge stvari koje radimo za druge ljude.
Tako da sam napisala taj govor onda, isto kao
što sam napisala i ovaj sa leptirićima u stomaku.
Radila sam na njemu noću, noseći majicu koju
sam koristila kao spavaćicu, koju sam ukrala od sestre.
Pisala sam o tome kako znanje zapravo ima svoju
materijalnu osnovu, nešto kao
funkcija merdevina koje mogu biti korišćene
da se dobije pristup mestima i svetovima koji
su prethodno bili nezamislivi. Nemam neko sećanje
tog govora. Sećam se kasnije,
da sam boravila u kupatilu, sakrivala se u zaključanoj
štali, osećajući majicu koju sam nosila ispod mog odela

English: 
I had to speak for my parents who would be
very proud of me, he said. There are some
things we have to do for ourselves, but there
are other things that we do for other people.
So I wrote this speech back then, much as
I wrote this one with butterflies churning.
I worked on it at night wearing the slip that
I used as a nightie that I had stolen from
my sister. I wrote about the way that knowledge
had an actual materiality, not unlike the
materiality of the ladder that could be used
to gain access to places in worlds that were
previously unimaginable. I have no real memory
of giving that speech. I remember afterwards
of being in the bathroom, hiding in a locked
stall, feeling the slip I wore underneath

Serbian: 
kako sam plakala, osećajući se glupo i da sam
bila lažov zato što nisam mogla, sama,
da zamislim svet gde bi se ikada mogla
uklopiti.
U srednjoj školi sam se priključila glumačkoj sekciji,
delom zbog moje starije sestre, ali
najviše zbog skladišta visoko iznad
pozornice do tavanice koje je bilo puno kostima.
Zaljubila sam se u to skladište koliko zbog
privatnosti sa mirisom prašine gde
sam mogla da sednem i da čitam, toliko i zbog
regala haljina i beskonačnih špalira cipela.
Sećam se noseći tu lepu brokiranu haljinu jednog dana
sa ugrađenim korsetom kada sam odjednom čula
upravnicu pozornice kako me zove imenom.
Neposredno pre nego što je otvorila vrata, očajnički
sam uronila u tamne preklope poslaganih haljina
sa srcem ko u miša, slušajući je
kako me zove i zove, i moleći se da
nekako ostanem nevidljiva.

English: 
my suit as I cried, feeling stupid and that
I was a liar because I was unable, myself,
to imagine a world where I would ever fit
in.
In high school I joined the theater department,
partially because of my older sister, but
mostly because of the storeroom high above
the stage amongst the catwalks that was filled
with costumes. I fell in love with the storeroom
as much for its dust-scented privacy where
I would sit and read, as for the racks of
dresses and endless rows of shoes. I remember
wearing this beautiful brocaded dress one
day with a built-in corset when suddenly I
heard the stage manager calling my name. Just
before she opened the door, I dove desperately
into the shadowed folds between the racked
dresses, heart pounding like a mouse, listening
to her call my name over and over, praying
that somehow I might remain invisible.

English: 
As I grew older, an intense anxious isolation,
coupled with constant insomnia began to inculcate
an inescapable depression. I have never slept
much but during my sophomore year in high
school, while I watched many of my male friends
develop facial hair, I kept this strange relentless
vigil staring in the mirror for hours, afraid
of what one day I might see. Here in the absence
of words to defend myself, without examples,
without models, I began to believe voices
in my head, that I was a freak, that I, um,
was broken, that there was something wrong
with me, that I will never be lovable.
After school, I go to the nearby Burger King
and I write a suicide note. It ends up being
over four pages. (laughing) I’m a little

Serbian: 
Kako sam odrastala, ta intenzivna anksiozna izolacija,
združena sa konstantnom nesanicom počela je da uliva
neizbežnu depresiju. Nikada nisam spavala puno
međutim za vreme moje druge godine u srednjoj školi,
dok sam gledala mnoge moje muške drugare kako
dobijaju bradu, zadržala sam tu nemilosrdnu
budnost zureći u ogledalo satima, plašeći se
od toga šta ću jednog dana možda videti. Ovde, u odsustvu
reči da odbranim sebe, bez pimera,
bez uzora, počela sam da verujem glasovima u mojoj glavi,
da sam nakaza, da sam, um,
oštećena, da ima nešto pogrešno sa mnom,
da nikada neću biti simpatična nekome.
Posle škole, išla sam u obližnji Burger King
i pisala sam samoubilačko pismo. Na kraju je
je bilo dugo četiri strane. (smeh) Malo sam govorljiva.

English: 
talkative. But it was addressed to my parents
and I really wanted to convince them that
it wasn’t their fault, it was just that
I didn’t belong. I cry a lot as I write
this note, but the staff at Burger King has
seen it all before. And they seem immune.
I was very used to traveling home quite late
because of the theater, I know the train platform
will be empty at night because it always is.
I let the B train go by because I know the
A train will be next and it doesn’t stop.
When I see the headlight, I take off my backpack
and I put it on the bench, it has the note
in front of it. I try not to think of anything,
but jumping as the train comes. Just as the
platform starts to rumble suddenly I notice
someone walking down the ramp. It is a skinny,
older man wearing overly large 1970s square

Serbian: 
Ali, bilo je namenjeno mojim roditeljima i htela
sam da ih ubedim da ovo nije bila njihova greška,
i da je bilo samo to da nisam pripadala nigde.
Plakala sam puno dok sam pisala to pismo,
ali osoblje u Burger Kingu je to sve već videlo.
I delovali su imuno.
Navikla sam da idem kući prilično kasno zbog
pozorišta, znala da će stanica za prevoz
biti prazna noću, uvek jeste.
Pustila bih voz B da prođe jer znam da će
voz A biti sledeći i da neće stati.
Kada vidim far, skinem ranac
i stavim ga na klupu, u njemu je pismo
postavljeno na površinu. I pokušavam da ne mislim niočemu,
osim o skakanju kako voz nailazi. Kako je platforma
počela da se trese najednom primetim da neko hoda
niz stanicu. Mršav, stariji čovek nosi malo veće
četvrtaste naočare iz sedamdesetih

Serbian: 
koje su me podsetile na one što moja baka nosi.
Gleda me kao životinja,
gleda me kao što životinje gledaju jedna drugu.
Ne znam zašto nije skrenuo pogled od mene.
Sve što znam je da zato što nije, još uvek sam ovde.
(aplauz)
Nekoliko godina kasnije našla sam hrabrosti
da priznam da sam transrodna. I da to ne znači
da nisam simpatična. Upoznala sam ženu,
prvu osobu koja me je navela da razumem
da me vole ne uprkos razlikovanju,
već baš zbog toga. Ona je prva osoba
koja me je videla kao celo biće. I svako jutro
mogu da se probudim pored nje. Ne mogu vam
opišem koliko sam bila zahvalna što imam ta
dva plava oka u mom životu. (aplauz)

English: 
style glasses that remind me of the ones my
grandma wears. He stares at me the way an
animal, he stares at me the way animals stare
at each other. I don’t know why he wouldn’t
look away. All I know is that because he didn’t,
I am still here. (clapping)
Years later I find the courage to admit that
I am transgender. And that this does not
mean that I am unlovable. I meet a woman,
the first person that has made me understand
that they love me not in spite of my difference,
but because of it. She is the first person
to see me as a whole being. And every morning
I get to wake up beside her. I can’t tell
you how grateful I have been for those two
blue eyes in my life. (clapping)

English: 
In Sydney, Australia, I finally came out to
my family. When I told my mom what was going
on she jumped on a plane immediately, there
was this big tear soaked baptism. And she
confessed that she’d been afraid to come
here, to arrive and grieve the loss of her
son. But when she arrived, she found it wasn’t
so much as a death as it was a discovery that
there was this other part of me, unseen part
and she felt it was like a gift because now
she could get to know that part of me. (clapping)
We went to dinner, I dressed as feminine as

Serbian: 
U Sidneju, Australiji, konačno sam izašla pred
svoju porodicu. Kada sam rekla mojoj mami o čemu se radi
odmah je uskočila na avion, bilo je to krštenje
natopljeno velikom suzom. I ona je priznala
da se plašila da dođe ovde, da stigne i
tuguje za gubitkom svoga sina.
Ali kada je stigla, shvatila je da nije baš tako kao
kao smrt kao što je bilo otrkiće da postoji
i druga strana mene, neviđen deo
i osetila je da je to dar zato što je sada
mogla da upozna taj deo mene. (aplauz)
Otišli smo na večeru. Obukla sam se kao žena

Serbian: 
koliko sam mogla, želeći da budem u očima stranaca
Lana, nadajući se da me konobari neće oslovljavati sa
"gospodine" ili "on." Kao da su ovi ljudi
iznenada imali moć da potvrde ili poreknu
moje postojanje. Moja mama je takođe malo govorljiva.
Uvek predstavi sebe konobaru, konobarici.
Ona je uvek kao, "Zdravo, ja sam Lina. 
Ovo je moja kćerka, Lana." I konobarica
se nasmeši i kaže, "Vau, ona baš liči na vas."
(smeh/aplauz)
Kada je moj otac stigao, samo je slegao ramenima. 
Lakše nego prihvatanje da su njegova žena i kćerka
jednom glasale za Jane Byrne-a umesto za
Harold Washington-a. Glasanje koje ga gricka
i dan danas. Rekao je, "Vidi, ako moje dete hoće
da sednemo i da pričamo, ja sam srećan čovek.

English: 
I could, wanting to be seen by strangers as
Lana, hoping that waiters would not call me
“sir” or “he.” As if these people
suddenly had the power to confirm or deny
my existence. My mom is also a bit talkative.
She always introduces herself to the waiter,
waitress. And she’s like, “Hi, I’m Lynne.
This is my daughter, Lana.” And the waitress
smiled and said, “Wow, she looks just like
you.” (laughing/clapping)
When my dad arrived, he shrugged it off. Easier
than accepting that his wife and daughter
once voted for Jane Byrne instead of Harold
Washington. A choice that still rankles him
to this day. He said, “Look if my kid wants
to sit down and talk to me, I’m a lucky

Serbian: 
Ono što je bitno je da si živa, izgledaš srećno,
i da mogu
da te zagrlim i poljubim." (aplauz/navijanje)
Imati dobre roditelje je baš lutrija,
u fazonu si "O Bože, dobio sam na lutriji.
Čekaj, nisam uradio ništa." (smeh)
Sećam se da sam razmišljala o rečima svoga oca,
njegovo prihvatanje mene, kada smo moja supruga i ja
prvi put čitale o Gwen Arujo. Delovalo je nemoguće
da se tako nešto dogodi tako blizu ovom gradu.
Ali ipak evo te osobe kao što sam ja
ubijena je zbog neznanja, zbog predrasuda,
ubijena je zbog netolerancije. Delovalo je kao
direktno inverzna proporcija mog prihvatanja,
od moje porodice. Ubijena od tog straha
koji traži da uništi svaki dokaz

English: 
man. What matters is that you’re alive,
you seem happy, and that I can put my arms
around you and give you a kiss.” (clapping/cheering)
Having good parents is just like the lottery,
you just like “Oh My God, I won the lottery.
What the, I didn’t do anything.” (laughing)
I remember thinking about my dad’s words,
his acceptance of me, when my wife and I first
read about Gwen Arujo. It seemed impossible
that something like that could happen so close
to this city. And yet here was this person
like me murdered by ignorance, by prejudice,
murdered by intolerance. It seemed in direct
inverse proportion to the kind of acceptance
my, of my family. Murdered by a kind of fear
that seeks to obliterate any evidence that

English: 
would prove that the world is different from
the way that they want to see it, from the
way that they want to believe it to be.
Invisibility is indivisible from visibility.
For the transgender this is not simply a
philosophical conundrum. It can be the difference
between life and death.
A few short weeks ago, after my coming out,
three of us, Tom, Andy, and I were being interviewed,
one of the reporters ventured away from the
subject of the film towards my gender. Imagine
that, a reporter. My brother quickly stepping,
“Look, just so we’re clear,” he says,
“if somebody asks something or says something
about my sister that I don’t like, understand
that I will break a bottle over their head.”
(clapping) Few words express love clearer
than these.

Serbian: 
koji bi dokazao da je svet drugačiji od onoga
što oni hoće da vide, od onoga
u šta oni žele da veruju da jeste.
Nevidljivost je neodvojiva od vidljivosti.
Za transrodne ovo nije samo prosta
filozofska zagonetka. Ovo može biti razlika
između života i smrti.
Nekoliko kratkih nedelja ranije, nakon mog izlaska,
troje nas, Tom, Andy, i ja bili smo intervjuisani,
jedan od reportera se odvažio da odstupi od
teme filma ka mom polu. Zamislite to, reporter.
Moj brat kratko uskače,
"Vidi, samo da budemo načisto," kaže on,
"ako neko pita nešto ili kaže nešto
"o mojoj sestri što mi se ne sviđa, razumi
da ću razbiti flašu o njegovu glavu."
(aplauz) Nekoliko reči pokazuju ljubav jasnije
nego ovo.

English: 
I am here because Mr. Henderson taught me
that there are some things we do for ourselves,
but there are some things we do for others.
I am here because when I was young, I wanted
very badly to be a writer, I wanted to be
a filmmaker, but I couldn’t find anyone
like me in the world and it felt like my dreams
were foreclosed simply because my gender was
less typical than others.
If I can be that person for someone else (clapping)

Serbian: 
Ovde sam zbog toga što me je gospodin Henderson
naučio da postoje stvari koje radimo za sebe,
ali i postoje stvari koje radimo i za druge.
Ovde sam zato što kada sam bila mlada, želela sam
jako da budem spisateljica, želela sam da budem
sineasta, ali nisam mogla da nađem nikoga
na svetu kao što sam ja i delovalo je kao da su
moji snovi unapred neostvarivi prosto zbog toga što
je moj pol bio manje tipičan nego ostali.
Ako mogu da budem ta osoba za nekoga drugog (aplauz)

Serbian: 
ona žrtva mog privatnog građanskog života 
ima vrednost. Znam da sam ovde takođe zbog
snage, hrabrosti i ljubavi koju sam blagoslovena
da imam od moje supruge, moje porodice
i mojih prijatelja. I na ovaj način želim da
dam njihovu ljubav u formi moje materijalizacije
projektu kao što je ovaj pokrenut od strane
HRC-a, tako da svet koji zamišljamo
u ovoj sobi može da dobije pristup i drugim
sobama, i drugim svetovima ranije nezamislivim.
Puno vam hvala.

English: 
then the sacrifice of my private civic life
may have value. I know I am also here because
of the strength and courage and love that
I am blessed to receive from my wife, my family
and my friends. And in this way I hope to
offer their love in the form of my materiality
to a project like this one started by the
HRC, so this world that we imagine in this
room might be used to gain access to other
rooms, to other worlds previously unimaginable.
Thanks very much.
